Brave New World
by Ri2
Summary: The end of the world has come and gone, and a new world has been built from the ashes of the old. But just because the final battle's been won doesn't mean new dangers can't come crawling out of the woodwork... Sequel to Latias' Journey
1. Genesis

Well, after almost two years, here I am again

Well, after almost two years, here I am again with the sequel I never thought I'd be doing (not at first anyway) to one of my most critically acclaimed stories of all time, Latias' Journey. This has been a long time coming, so I hope you're all looking forward to it.

Looking back, I can see that while Journey had its good points, there was a lot I could have done better. I blame its deficiencies on my skill at the time and my attempts to either impress (or piss off) a particular author who was 'helping' me with it back then. One thing in particular I've realized I could do better was the ending to the last story, which many readers have complained at least a little about. I intend to rectify what happened at the end of the original Journey right off the bat in this opening chapter. I actually would have added it as a full text chapter to the end of Latias' Journey, but due to certain…difficulties with people I'm not talking to anymore, I felt it would be best to explain everything in a recap instead, since I'm not positive it would be okay for me to use certain characters they loaned to me for the story a while ago in that chapter without their permission, and I'm not exactly in a position to ask for that permission anymore. Hope that's not a problem.

Something else I hope will not be a problem is where the inspiration for this story came from. It will take place in a world based off the Pokemon Mystery Dungeon series, but a lot of the idea behind the plot comes from…the GCN game Paper Mario and the Thousand Year Door, which is a truly great RPG that I highly recommend to everyone who can find and play it. Don't worry if that makes you feel uneasy though, you should know by now that I will do my very best to make this story my own, even if I am, er, _borrowing_ and improving on a few particular plot points.

Anyway, without further ado, here's where we begin, by finishing what happened in the old and then starting the new. Or something like that. I'll stop rambling. Enjoy

…

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Pokemon species in this story. I do and do not own the main characters; they are based off people from the game and anime. However, you may find them a bit…different from what you recall. Mweheheheh. I do own the original characters and the world used, though. Well, the parts of it that weren't already in Mystery Dungeon, anyway. Look, why don't I just shut up and start the story already? Not like anyone reads these disclaimers anyway…

…

It is said that there was a reality before our own. Many, in fact. An endless cycle of worlds being born and dying, the souls dwelling in them forced into a perpetual loop of life and death and constantly caught in a never-ending struggle between the good souls who wished for life to continue in whatever form and the evil ones who wished to destroy it all so the cycle would end. However, after millions and millions of repetitions in this cycle, both sides became exhausted of this constant struggle, and sought a way to end it once and for all.

The core consciousness of the embodiment of all that was good, made from the trillions of souls that embraced life, sent a portion of itself to the mortal realm upon the beginning of what would become the final cycle. This portion became known as the Mother, an omnipotent and benevolent being who seeded life throughout the cosmos and brought a new golden age to a war-scarred dead world known as Earth, remaking the extinct human race and allowing for the rise of the wonderfully myriad species known as Pokemon. The core consciousness of all that was evil, however, also sent a portion of itself to the mortal realm. This portion became known as Deoxys, a sentient alien virus whose malice and hatred was so great that it swallowed the stars. It sought nothing less than the destruction of all life, everywhere, and the end of the entire multiverse.

The Mother and Deoxys clashed many times throughout the lifespan of this new universe. Each sought to defeat and assimilate the other for, since each was a physical embodiment of the core consciousnesses of good and evil, by fusing together they would cause the great amalgamations of good and evil souls existing outside of time to fuse together as well, forcing all that was to recombine and revert to its original and most primal state. This would allow the One, the first being to exist and the ultimate creator of all reality, to come into being once more. The One would then use its boundless and unimaginable powers to break the cycle and give rise to a new reality free of the critical failures that was forcing the current one to repeat itself in an endless series of pointless repetitions that were grinding the souls living in it to dust. However, this would only come to pass if the Mother prevailed, for the evil represented by Deoxys had no interest in creating a new world, and sought nothing less than the absolute solitude and power that came from being the One, the only One to exist anywhere, aloof and alone and apart from anything else that might have been and never would be.

A series of complex events led the Mother and Deoxys to fight one last time upon the planet Earth, while the Mother's Chosen heroes and champions battled Deoxys' monstrous minions. However, before the Mother could strike the final blow…Deoxys played his last trick and stole all her power from her, evolving into his deadliest form and transforming into a monster with the power to consume all of time and space and reduce all to nothing. The Chosen, those who were not killed outright by Deoxys' new power, were forced to flee the Earth with the weakened and defeated Mother just before the Earth and the entire universe it was in were erased from existence. They traveled through the diminishing remnants of time and space towards a world on the very edge of reality, where they planned to regroup and strike back against Deoxys using the power that was waiting for them there. Along the way, the noble dragon king Rayquaza was forced to give up his life to resurrect his soulmate Latias, who had played a pivotal role in many of the events leading up to the great battle with Deoxys, and had tragically been transformed into a viral zombie during that battle. With a new lease on life and the courage to fight for it and for her friends, Latias and the other Chosen prepared for the inevitable day when Deoxys would find them and the greatest battle of all would begin.

What none of them realized was that it was all a lie.

The Mother had not lost the battle. Many of their number had not died. The planet Earth and the majority of the multiverse had not been destroyed. The survivors were not forced to live like refugees on a magical island drifting through space-time. None of that had ever happened. They had, in fact, not even left the Earth at all. Before the Mother had delivered the final blow to Deoxys, all of them were cast into an illusory world where all of the aforementioned events occurred and it seemed as if evil had prevailed. The trick was so good that even Deoxys and the Mother were fooled by this dream world and believed that everything that occurred in this mirage was real and all the fake memories and events they remembered were the way that things had always been.

The instigator of this illusion was none other than a fell imp from a digital domain called Mewgle, who had been a servant of Deoxys, thought defeated by the Mother not too long ago. However, he had been able to create a backup copy of himself before his deletion, unnoticed by all, and that copy triggered hidden RPGenerator units all around the globe just before the Mother could kill Deoxys, casting Earth and all of its inhabitants into a world of his own creation, the world in which it seemed that Deoxys had won and nearly everyone was dead. By fooling everyone into believing that this false world was reality, Mewgle would be free to conquer the real world while its greatest heroes and villains were distracted, establishing a 'perfect' virtual world in which he was the supreme ruler and everyone else would have to live by the inane, ludicrous, and oppressive RPG-styled rules he would impose upon his creation.

However, one creature in all the world was unaffected by Mewgle's plot, a hero who had, for whatever reason, been overlooked by the forces of good and so had not been Chosen to appear at the last battle. This hero was a Squirtle, a firefighter and former bandit who had, for a time, journeyed alongside Ash Ketchum, another Chosen. He was immune to Mewgle's RPG trick due to the sunglasses he always wore, which were of such a make and innate coolness that no illusion could fool the eyes looking through them.

When all hell literally broke loose across the planet, Squirtle had decided to leave the city he was defending in the hands of his trustworthy Squirtle Squad compatriots and set out for Ever Grande City, where the source of all the monsters ravaging the planet and the site of the ultimate battle between the forces of good and evil was taking place. However, since there were no boats going there at the moment, what with the end of the world happening and all, Squirtle had no choice but to swim all the way across the ocean to reach the island city from Johto…and as you can imagine, he was pretty tired when he got there. However, while he was indeed too late to partake in the great battle alongside his former comrades, he was just in time to hear the visage of Mewgle, present in a glowing crystal near the alarmingly immobile forms of his friends and the other heroes, reveal his plan in a self-directed monologue, as villains of his caliber usually do.

Realizing at once what was going on and what he needed to do, Squirtle shattered the crystal with a Rapid Spin attack, destroying Mewgle forever and breaking the spell he had cast over the world. The heroes and Chosen at once awoke from the trance the computer fiend had put them in, and rejoiced over the fact that they were all alive and not floating on a weird magical island somewhere in space and time, and that Earth still existed. (Rayquaza was rather disappointed, however, that Latias was a zombie again. She was rather upset by this too, naturally.) Deoxys tried to take advantage of everyone's brief confusion and finding themselves back in the real world to escape, but the Mother ran him through with her holy sword, shattering the crystal that was the core of his consciousness and eradicating his evil for all time.

An incredible wave of positive energy was released from the wailing Deoxys' disintegrating form which washed out across the multiverse, destroying or at least weakening evil and entropy everywhere and causing life and prosperity to flourish once more. The Mother, energized by this wave, sealed Deoxys' weakened and defeated essence in the final GS Ball so it could be gradually purified of the evil and hatred which corrupted it, in the process purifying the enormous amalgamation of evil souls outside of time from whence Deoxys had been spawned, making the process by which all things would be unified again into the One that much easier and benefiting all life that existed and would exist everywhere in the future.

With that task taken care of, the Mother used her phenomenal powers (and some help from the Unown, who owed her and pretty much all of the Chosen for manipulating events so that everything which had happened took place) to mend the war-torn Earth, repairing the damage that had been caused by Deoxys and his legions. All his minions were either destroyed or restored to their original living forms, without the madness or virus or lust for power that had driven them to serve him in the first place. Everyone who had been killed by the fiend's machinations was miraculously brought back to life and rejoiced with their loved ones in the light of the new day. The Chosen were honored as the greatest heroes the world had ever known, and Squirtle joined their ranks for saving everyone's hides from the insane Mewgle. Great gifts and riches were bestowed upon them by the Mother and the grateful people of Earth for the heroic deeds they had performed for the sake of all life everywhere. It was not too long after that that many of the Chosen married each other or those close to them in a rather large ceremony performed on Birth Island (the real one, not the one seen in Mewgle's illusion. The real thing was actually remarkably like the fake one, except there were no proto-Joys and Jennies, no Apostles, no semi-philosophical bullshit, no pocket universes full of chaos stored away in the island's catacombs, and Ash Ketchum's father never came from there, which also meant that his Pikachu was not his brother, much to both of their disappointments. They still had giant insects, though, much to _Misty's_ disappointment.) by the Mother herself. Children soon followed many of the marriages, and most of the Chosen settled down in retirement on the Sevii Islands while their children became the next heroes of Earth.

And as for Latias and Rayquaza…their long-anticipated union was truly a happy one, something that had been in the works for almost a hundred thousand years. Any lingering resentment Latias might have had towards Rayquaza for his part in destroying her hometown of Altomare when he had been the Ghost King which might have tainted their marriage was eradicated when she found out that it was actually Kyogre, who had been part of the Ghost King's subconscious at the time, who had encouraged him to have his ghost troops destroy the city; not because she wanted Latias to pay for being in love with somebody else, but as a childish way of striking back at her rival/lover and fellow part of the Ghost King's subconscious Groudon, who saw an island city existing in the middle of the ocean as a triumph of land over the sea. Naturally, Latias tried to kill Kyogre in a furious screaming rage when she found that out, but she got over it. In a few centuries.

To make up for it (and to keep Latias from killing her) Kyogre withdrew the waters from the ruins of Altomare and Groudon (both to shove it in Kyogre's face and to get in Rayquaza's good graces) built the island back up bigger than ever. Rayquaza, Latias, and many of their friends and followers (for they were now rulers of all dragons on the planet, of course) constructed the grand city of Neo Altomare, which soon became the capital of a new Draconian Empire which encompassed both Johto, Kanto, and a bit of Hoenn. The Ho-Oh who had once ruled Johto probably would have protested if she weren't still dead, since the Mother had chosen not to resurrect her since she had always been a bitch, even before Deoxys showed up, and Lugia was too happy to have his family back and the three elemental birds finally not trying to kill each other every five minutes to care very much.

And so everyone involved lived happily ever after, except for most of the bad guys that everyone had hated and didn't want around anymore, but that wasn't particularly surprising. But all good things must eventually come to an end, and so many billions of years later the multiverse collapsed upon itself and Earth, which had become barren and empty once again millions of years before then, was destroyed. All matter in every universe was broken up, releasing the energy and souls contained within them as reality and time disintegrated, as was the norm for when the previously mentioned cycle reached its end and prepared to begin again.

However, thanks to the actions of the Mother and the Chosen, all souls, rather than flowing into two great amalgamations of 'good' and 'evil,' coalesced into a single mass that then turned into an immense egg, an egg bigger than the entire multiverse had been before its inevitable heat-death. All souls, save for a very small few who, for whatever reason, did not wish to become a part of the reborn One and take part in the construction of a brand new reality, fused together into this egg.

One of those souls who stayed behind was the person who had, when alive, been known as Latias.

…

She hated the egg. Or at least, she thought she did.

She knew it was probably sacrilegious on some level, considering what was inside the egg, but on some level, she really did resent it. And she had good reason to, didn't she? After all, that egg had taken everything away from her. Her family, her friends, her happy afterlife, her beloved…all of it had been stripped from her the instant the multiverse had died and the soul fusion process began. For whatever reason, she had been excluded from the mass of spirits that conglomerated together to form the One's egg. This made no sense to her, since, unlike the very small number of other souls drifting about Infinity at that moment, she had actually been looking forward to becoming a part of the reborn One and helping to recreate reality.

But instead, she got booted out of the blissful heaven she had been sharing with her closest friends, family and Rayquaza, and found herself out in the empty, endless void, watching unhappily as everyone she cared about melded together with every other being that had ever lived to create the giant divine egg. An egg that she, for some unknown reason, was not inside.

It wasn't fair. Once upon a time, someone had told her that life wasn't fair, but seeing as how she was currently dead and, after the Mother had defeated Deoxys, life _had_ actually become very fair for everyone, Latias felt justified in feeling miffed. What had she done to warrant being excluded from the soul fusion? She was one of the beings responsible for it ever coming to pass, after all! Okay, maybe she could have played a more active role during the battle of the Chosen, but it wasn't exactly her fault that she had been, for a time, one of Deoxys' minions. She hadn't undergone the transformation willingly, and it had been one of the most horrible and unpleasant events in all her many lifetimes. She dearly hoped that in the new world that was to come nobody would ever have to suffer the same fate that she had ever again.

She chided herself for complaining so much. She knew it was unbecoming of her. But still, why _shouldn't_ she complain? Who wouldn't when everyone they cared for was ripped away from her to essentially become God, while she, well, wasn't? How was she supposed to feel in a situation like that?

Not for the first time, she flashed back to what the faux One had said near the end of Mewgle's very clever and deceptive artificial reality, about her being the 'eternal witness' who would watch as the One created the new multiverse. She had long ago discounted what that being had said as yet another one of Mewgle's attempts to shove some pseudo-philosophical gibberish (the kind usually found nowhere else but in RPGs) down their throats. However…

Was there a chance that that bit of the artifice was not, in fact, part of Mewgle's program? That the One, or some aspect of it, had in fact traveled back in time to tell her what she was going to be in the next incarnation of reality? While she had considered this possibility more than once ever since she had been booted out of her happy afterlife, she rejected the idea every time. What exactly had she done that made her deserving of such an honor…or curse…of being an 'eternal witness?' While she had indeed done many heroic acts throughout her many lives, she was pretty sure that plenty of other people had fought just and hard and done just as many, if not more, things with their many incarnations than she. Well, okay, maybe not _that_ many other people, but still. Why was she outside the egg, instead of inside of it with everyone else?

The question, as always, frustrated her due to the lack of any clear answer. She certainly didn't know why, and seeing as there wasn't really anyone else she could ask (the other souls that had also been excluded—though of their own free will—weren't exactly interested in talking to her), she'd just have to wait until the egg hatched and demand answers from the source. Whenever that happened. It seemed like she had been waiting billions of years for the egg to hatch, but it was sort of hard to tell since time didn't exactly exist at the moment (heck, there wasn't even such a thing as a 'moment' anymore) so her perspective on how long the egg had just been sitting there was very subjective and no doubt inaccurate.

_On the bright side,_ she thought, trying to cheer herself up, _I finally know which came first. I definitely didn't see any Blaziken lay _this_ egg, and I certainly know _I_ didn't._ She didn't feel especially happier, but she hadn't really expected to.

She started when, only a few seconds (Or was it a million years? Subjective time really was a pain) after that thought, the egg began to crack. _It's hatching_, she realized, stunned. _Holy shit. Uh, literally. Wait, if I'm the first thing it sees, is it going to imprint on me and think I'm its mother or something?_ Her mind boggled at the thought. Would that make her the actual Mother of God or something? Oh dear.

Well, she supposed that would probably be a good reason for why she had been excluded, if the One-that-was-to-be had instinctively chosen someone to be its caretaker during its developing years and, for whatever reason, decided that someone was going to be her. She desperately hoped that wasn't the case, though. While she loved children and had indeed been a mother to many through her multiple lifetimes, she wasn't sure if she could handle playing 'Mom' to something THAT much bigger than her, something that was, quite literally, God.

And how exactly was she going to get something that size milk?! Her own mammaries certainly weren't going to cut it…

Thankfully, when the egg split in half with a crack so loud it would have shattered entire planets and a flash of light so brilliant it was even brighter than the Big Bang (and Latias would know, she had seen it or variants of that Bang several times), the being who emerged was so magnificent that any thoughts of having to play nursemaid to it immediately fled Latias' mind. Her jaw dropped in awe, and she shed spiritual tears of wonder (not having a physical body at the moment, and so being incapable of releasing real tears) at the sheer majesty and _beauty_ of the newborn.

She found, much to her surprise, that the fake One she had seen in Mewgle's virtual world actually looked a lot like the real deal…but only in the way that an incredibly grainy, blurry, out-of-focus, scratched, black and white photograph of a flower _sort of_ resembles a beautiful blood-red rose; the real thing was much more impressive than any replica could ever be. The One was one of the biggest things Latias had ever seen, bigger than the multiverse had ever been, bigger even than its own egg, swelling up so much due to its sheer power and presence that it seemed to encompass all of Infinity…which, technically, it did; after all, Infinity itself was just another manifestation of the One. The One was a vaguely equine creature with fur a million times whiter than the whitest snow or diamonds (or even Latias' own down, back when she had down) and radiated light more pure and beautiful than any she had ever seen before. Its underside was gray, and yet that grayness seemed to radiate a kind of pure light as well. Its four pointed feet were tipped with sharp golden hooves large enough to gouge out enormous chunks of space-time with every step it took. A cross-like wheel emanating a golden brilliance was wrapped around its midsection, and seemed to change colors rapidly every second Latias looked at it. Its neck was surprisingly long and thick, making her think briefly of a Girafarig's, though it was thicker than a Girafarig's neck in proportion to the rest of its godly form. The long neck terminated in an austere, regal head with a long flowing white mane and a smooth, almost featureless gray face framed by more white fur and a shining gold plate set in its forehead.

As Latias stared up at the colossal and infinite being, she knew then, without a doubt, that this was what she and her friends and everything else that had ever lived and breathed and died had been struggling for. This was the One. She was, literally, in the presence of God. There was nothing else it could possibly be.

The neck inclined slightly, the blank face turning towards her…

And suddenly Latias found herself staring into a pair of enormous glowing green eyes the size of supernovae of such beauty that her breath (not that she needed to breathe) was taken from her. The intelligence staring out at her from behind those eyes was so vast and wise and, and _loving_ that she found herself struggling not to cry from having so much intensity and compassion focused solely on her.

It made her think of how Rayquaza had always looked at her, with the same degree of intensity and love. Then again, her Rayquaza was part of this thing now, wasn't he? And she…was not. A bottomless melancholy almost swallowed her up then, for what greater loss could one suffer than an outright denial to become one with your Creator?

Her sorrow was dashed from her then, when the One spoke to her. Its voice was much softer than she had expected, and yet there was an unmistakable feeling of absolute power resonating beneath its low, steady tones. The voice was not vocal, nor telepathic, and yet it still seemed to well up from the very core of her being, a deep and intimate form of communication that only one other she knew had been capable of…the one who was not with her now. Rather than sadden her, though, this thought actually bolstered her confidence, for it made her feel, for a moment, that her dear one was somehow talking to her through the One's lips…figuratively speaking, since it didn't have a visible mouth.

The One said, "I am the Original One, the Source and Creator of All that is or was, reborn after being scattered apart for far too long. I am complete in my power and unity once more…and yet I am still lacking. You who are separate from me, I beg of you to grant me a name. What am I to be called?"

Latias blinked in surprise. Had the One excluded her from its unity just so she could give it a name? "Arceus," she said at once. She wasn't sure why she had chosen that name. It just seemed to be the right one, the one that fit, as if there were nothing else that anyone could possibly call this magnificent and omnipotent God. Maybe because it sounded sort of like a cross between 'arch,' meaning highest, and _deus, _the Latin word for God. And what was the One if not the highest of all gods?

The One, now named Arceus, nodded its great head, looking satisfied. A feeling of pleasure radiated from its form, and Latias found herself struggling not to giggle as it washed over her. "Arceus," said the Creator. "It is a good name. And now that I am named, I may begin what needs to be done."

He looked at the shell fragment drifting by his left side, now dwarfed by his pearly eminence, and suddenly it was an immense bipedal dragon covered in shiny gray-white armor, with two metal wings, a long neck and powerful tail, and two huge pink pearls set in the plates covering its shoulders. The dragon's face was short and blunt in comparison to its long head and neck, its red eyes and small fanged mouth framed by the armor making up most of its body. The dragon roared, and all of Infinity around them trembled and seemed to become more solid. Latias started to find that she too felt somewhat more solid, as if some form of primordial matter was coating her spiritual essence. But matter didn't exist anymore, did it? When the multiverse had finally ended, all molecules and atoms and everything else that made up material things had ceased to exist. Everything had, save for souls, which are made of something else entirely, a strange and everlasting quintessence that could not be diminished and only grew stronger over time.

Arceus looked to the remaining eggshell fragment floating on his right side, and suddenly it, too, turned into a dragon, this one four-legged with sharp claws and covered in dark blue skin with various light blue lines streaming along the sides of its body. Gray metallic portions, such as the spines on the back of its long neck, the fan-shaped plate growing from its rump just above its short tail, and the large chestplate covering its front that had a big blue diamond set in its center stood out starkly and complemented its blue hide. It had a long crest growing from the back of its head somewhat like a dinosaur's. Its face looked a lot like that of the pink-pearled dragon, short and blunt with glowing red eyes. This dragon also roared, causing the somewhat solidified Infinity around them to ripple and become more fluid. Another strange sensation passed over Latias, and she realized to her surprise that time suddenly existed, and was flowing again, something that had not occurred since the multiverse's end some…er…well, a while ago. Though it was hard to say how long ago, since time hadn't existed then and…oh, you get the idea.

"I am Palkia, Ruler of Space!" the gray-white dragon with the pink pearls bellowed.

"And I am Dialga, Ruler of Time!" the blue four-legged dragon shouted in reply.

The two dragons glared at each other, and lightning literally crackled between their glowing eyes. Latias groaned, sensing that a rivalry even greater than Groudon and Kyogre's stupid feud had just begun.

"Stop," Arceus said calmly. And just like that, the tension between the two dragon rulers vanished, the animosity they shared dissipating into nothingness. Latias gawked in disbelief. She had never seen a potential argument diffused so cleanly in all her lives. Rayquaza had always needed to beat some sense into Groudon and Kyogre, and her human friends Ash and Misty had generally been left alone when they argued since it was usually just a way for them to vent sexual frustration and generally led to…well, you know. "There is no need for you to fight. You are siblings, and both your powers are needed in conjunction if we are to make a new reality to replace the old one."

The dragons bowed their heads in obeisance. "Yes, Father."

"Palkia, you will create all the forms of matter and space required to construct the multiverse. Your control over reality will allow you to build universes and dimensions layered on top of and beside each other to create a glorious multifaceted matrix latticework of worlds beyond compare," Arceus said. "Dialga, your mastery over time will allow these worlds to flow forward, and grow, and flourish, rather than remaining locked in stasis. This is necessary for life to develop, since nothing living can exist for long in a motionless, paralyzed world. Such a state is literally worse than death, for a being trapped in such a world can neither live nor die, and is little more than a helpless statue." He frowned. "However…even in a world where time is allowed to flow like water, living things cannot truly be called 'alive' without the vital ingredients of knowledge, emotion, and willpower. And so, to that end…" To Latias' amazement, the fur on Arceus' sides shifted and suddenly a pair of long, slender _arms_ extended out from his body. Rather than being clad in gleaming white fur, these limbs looked to be made out of some sort of cosmic matter…Latias could swear she saw _stars_ and planets in the depths of those not-quite solid arms. Each arm ended in an equally slender hand with long, tapered fingers. The limbs looked almost human, except for the aforementioned cosmic matter they were made out of, and the fact that each hand had seven fingers. The arms stretched out before Arceus, bending multiple times from multiple joints, and clasped their hands together before his face, tightly interweaving their fingers together. Arceus focused his eyes on the clasped hands, and they pressed against each other harder. Light shone forth from the cracks between the fingers, and Latias and the other two dragons watched in awe, sensing an incredible amount of power being concentrated between those hands, the kind of power that could be used to make entire universes…

And then the hands parted, and a large, shimmering egg banded in yellow, magenta, and dark blue stripes floated there before them. The egg pulsated three times, and then shattered in a brilliant flash of light, releasing a trio of tiny, elfin beings who looked utterly microscopic compared to the great God that had birthed them and the twin dragons he had made before them. Heck, even _Latias_ felt bigger compared to these three newcomers!

The trio of new beings were identical in body structure; each had blue skin and a plump, pear-shaped body with two tails encrusted with red gems at the end as well as small, pointed, upturned legs and somewhat longer arms ending in three small fingers. Each of them also had a red gem imbedded in their forehead. However, while their bodies (and foreheads) were the same, their heads were not. One of them had a partially yellow face with a yellow helmet that looked somewhat like a brain covering its head and two eyes tightly shut behind yellow lids. Another had a partially magenta face with four long, drooping hair-like appendages and half-lidded yellow eyes. The third and final one had a cone-shaped dark blue head with fins to the side and wide open yellow eyes. They were all very cute, and reminded Latias somewhat of Mew, Celebi and Jirachi…which also meant that they had to possess some awesome power, since the cute ones always did.

"Wow," said Palkia. "They're…small."

"Yeah," Dialga agreed. "Very small."

Latias frowned at them. "Big things can come in small packages."

"Yeah, you'd say that, small thing," Palkia grunted. She frowned at him. There was a pause. He looked at her in confusion. "Who're you?"

"Uh, I'm Latias," she said.

"Oh," said Palkia, clearly still confused.

"You wanna go out sometime?" Dialga asked her. Both Latias and Palkia stared at him in disbelief. "What? She's kind of cute…"

"Uh, thanks…I think…but I'm taken," said a rather disturbed Latias.

"Oh," said Dialga.

The two dragons glanced about, seeing nobody else but Latias, Arceus, the three new Pokemon, and themselves about. They exchanged confused looks "Does…that make you our mom or something?" Palkia asked.

Latias flushed. "N-NO! Definitely not!" she stammered. She desperately hoped she wasn't their mother. Then again, they were dragons, and Rayquaza _was_ a part of Arceus, so…oh no, was _this_ why she had been excluded? To play mother to his children? Ugh, and she had thought the prospect of being the literal Mother of God was going to be tough…but playing babysitter to _these_ two? Well, now she knew how Rayquaza and Lugia had always felt, having to take care of idiot charges…

The three smaller newborns stirred, drawing the three dragons' attentions back to them. "I am Uxie, the Being of Knowledge," said the yellow pixie emotionlessly. "I know all there is to know or ever will be to know, and will bestow upon living beings intelligence so that they may improve their quality of life."

"If you know everything, what am I thinking right now?" Dialga asked skeptically.

"That Palkia's color and pearls make him look gay," Uxie replied.

"HEY!" Palkia roared, eyes and pearls flashing as chaotic energy crackling around his body. "I am NOT gay! Not that there's anything wrong with being gay, I mean, but I'm totally not like that, you douche! And to prove it, I'm gonna shove a Spacial Rend up your ass!"

Dialga smirked. "Oh wow, sticking things up my butt, that _really_ shows you're heterosexual…" Palkia bellowed in fury, causing Infinity to tremble, and lunged forward.

"Stop," Arceus said, silencing the Space Dragon's rage with a single word once again. "He is trying to make you angry on purpose so you will make yourself look like a fool. There is no reason for you to satisfy him."

Palkia sighed and bowed his head. "Yes, Father…" Dialga snickered. Palkia glared at him, fumed, crossed his arms and turned away. "Only a guy who's totally secure in his masculinity looks good in pink, anyway…" he grumbled under his breath.

"And Dialga, you should not provoke your brother, it isn't nice," Arceus continued. Dialga scowled, and Palkia stuck his tongue out at the blue dragon. Dialga grimaced and blew a raspberry in return.

"I am Mesprit, the Being of Emotion," the magenta fairy said kindly, getting them back on track. "I will be the source of all emotion and feeling in the worlds that are to come, and will teach living beings the nobility of sorrow, pain, and joy."

"What's noble about being sad or hurt?" asked a confused Dialga.

"Lots of things," Mesprit said defensively.

"I know a lot of people who'd agree with you…except that most of them are angsty and whine all the time and write bad poetry and stuff like that, much to everyone else's annoyance," Latias joked. Mesprit glared at her, clearly not finding it as funny.

"And I am Azelf, the Being of Willpower," the blue elf said spiritedly. "I will grant living beings the drive to do things, to move forward and evolve, rather than staying mired in the present."

Palkia snorted. "Psh, that's it? Sounds like you got the bottom of the barrel when it comes to power and duty."

"Yeah, isn't that my job?" asked Dialga.

Azelf flushed. "No, you make _time_ go forward, I make _people_ go forward, they're totally not the same thing! They're not the same thing, right guys?"

"Right," Uxie and Mesprit said.

Mesprit stuck his tongue out at Dialga. "See? I _do_ have an important job!"

The blue dragon rolled his eyes. "Sure, just keep telling yourself that…"

"That's enough," Arceus said firmly, silencing all of them. "All five of you have important tasks vital to the maintenance of reality and the existence of living things. However…while we now have the ingredients to make worlds and fill them with knowledge and feeling, all your powers are meaningless if there isn't actually any life populating those universes to begin with." He grew another pair of cosmic arms, which once more clasped hands in front of him. "And so…" He concentrated, once more focusing power into his entwined hands as he had before. However, everyone present could feel there was something different this time about what Arceus was making; the energy given off by the hidden form between the deity's hands was much stronger than the energy that had been used to create the fairy trio…perhaps, just possibly, even stronger than what was used to create the dragons of time and space? This possibility disturbed everyone.

Finally, Arceus parted his hands, revealing a small pink vaguely cat-like creature with a very long tail and a serene expression on its face. As all of them looked on and Latias' jaw dropped in disbelief, the pink kitty slowly opened its beautiful blue eyes as it awakened to life and blinked as it looked about at everyone. "Hi!"

"Hi," Palkia, Dialga, and the fairy trio replied.

"Mew?! What the…what're you doing here?!" cried a startled Latias.

"Huh? You know her?" asked a confused Palkia.

"Mew? Yeah, we were pretty good friends back in a couple of my previous incarnations," said the confused Latias.

"What? That can't be possible, Father made her just now. There's no way you could have know her from before!" Dialga argued, looking annoyed.

"She's thinking of a different Mew," Uxie announced. "Who was one of three that made up the living embodiment of what was basically the 'good half' of Father before his recent reunification. This new Mew was crafted from the same soul and persona of the original, and has the same basic purpose as that one, but is much more powerful, so that she can take up the role that Latias recalls as the 'Mother' all by herself."

"Yep, that's me!" Mew said, sounding pleased with herself. She caught her tail moving out of the corner of her eye, squealed in delight, and started chasing it around and around in circles.

Everyone except for Arceus sweatdropped. Latias sighed. "Yeah, that's the Mew I remember, all right…"

"Catch!" yelled Mew, conjuring a big pink bubble of…something out of thin air and hurling it at Azelf, who was too surprised by her sudden and unexpected attack to react in time and so got hit head-on by the bubble, which burst and flung him head over heels away, wailing at the top of his lungs. Mew pouted, as everyone else (once more, aside from Arceus) stared incredulously. "Darn, his reflexes are slow. Oh well, we'll just have to work on that."

"Was the Mew you remember like that, too?" a disturbed Mesprit asked Latias.

"Be grateful there's just one of her and Celebi and Jirachi haven't been reborn yet," Latias said flatly. "When those three got together, they could create miracles…and unbelievable chaos. You wouldn't imagine the amount of weird hybrids and time warps and giant robots that always had to be cleaned up in their wake whenever they left town." Latias shuddered. "Then again, if she's as powerful now as she was when she was the Mother, when all three of them were combined…she might be able to do all that, and more, all by herself." Palkia, Dialga, and Mesprit exchanged horrified looks. Uxie just floated there emotionlessly. A grumbling Azelf, rubbing where the bubble had hit his head, flew back over to the group, glaring angrily at Mew, who seemed to be cheerfully oblivious to his resentment.

"Uh, Father, not to question your judgment or anything, but…what exactly did you make this…Mew for?" Mesprit asked anxiously.

"I created Mew so that the universes we are about to create will be filled with life," Arceus explained. "Within her is every possible combination of DNA and genetic material in existence. Since her body contains the essence of life itself, she will be able to seed the empty worlds we will make with life that will grow from the blood within her. This will make her the true Mother of all living things, and also give her the power to change into any form she could possibly wish for, since all those forms exist within her."

"I can even turn into any of you," said Mew, glowing and suddenly expanding to form a perfect replica of Dialga. "Neat, huh?"

"Um, I guess that's _one_ word for it…" said a freaked-out Dialga. Palkia snickered.

"Wait, she has _our_ DNA too?!" asked an alarmed Azelf.

"Yep," said Mew, turning into a duplicate of Azelf. "Yours too," she added, suddenly transforming into what Latias recognized as what she herself had used to look like, back when she had been alive. She frowned. Had her hips really been that big?

"So you made Mew so she can create life," said Mesprit.

"Precisely," said Arceus.

"But you made _us_ all by yourself…so why can't you just create all life too using your own power?" asked a confused Palkia.

"Because a good God needs to know when to delegate," Arceus replied. He paused. "That, and I made her to be my mate." Everyone's jaws dropped.

"Really? Cool!" Mew chirped, resuming her original form.

"Hmm…" Latias shrugged. "Eh, I guess I've seen weirder couples."

"But-but you made her _after _us!" Azelf protested. "So not only is she practically your daughter, but she's our little sister! She's too young to be our Mother!"

"Yeah, doesn't that make her family or something?" Mesprit grimaced in disgust. "Incest is _gross!"_

"Plus, she's so, you know, small," Palkia pointed out. "How are you going to…uh…"

"Do it?" Dialga finished.

Arceus frowned at them. At least, it felt like he was frowning, even though he didn't have a mouth. "I am the One. Do you really think an inconsequential thing like size would really get in my way? And besides, it isn't incest if I say it's not."

"So there," Mew said, blowing a raspberry at them. They sweatdropped.

"…Well, I guess that's that then," Mesprit said finally, still disturbed.

"I suppose it is," Uxie said emotionlessly.

Dialga sulked. "Man, I can't believe we have a tiny pink thing as a mom now…"

"Yeah, this bites!" Palkia agreed.

Mew frowned, floated over, and proceeded to hit both the dragons on the head repeatedly with her tail, which made a surprisingly good whip, especially with that heavy bit at the end. "Owowowowowow!" they yelped in pain.

"Now boys, that's no way to talk about a woman, let alone your mother," Mew lectured the duo. "So I don't want to hear anymore of that language while I'm around! And don't think you can get away with it by saying it inside your head, I can read your minds. I'm always watching you."

Palkia and Dialga swallowed nervously. "Y-yes, Mom."

"Whatever you say."

Latias rolled her eyes. "For some reason I get the feeling that whenever somebody gets around to writing the creation story, they'll edit this part out…"

Arceus nodded, looking pleased. "Everything is ready. We have time, space, knowledge, emotion, willpower, and life. These are what are needed to create the new reality…one better than the last one, no longer trapped in an endless cycle of suffering and death."

"You know, 'endless cycle of suffering and death' actually sounds like a good name for a rock band," Palkia commented. Everyone stared at him. "What? It would be!"

"I would argue, but my old friends the Pokerockers would probably agree," Latias muttered. Her eyes widened. "Oh! Arceus!"

Arceus turned his great green eyes on her. "Yes, Latias?"

She reflexively shrunk into herself. She couldn't help it. He was just _so_ big…and not just physically, either. "I-I was wondering…my friends. You've brought back Mew. Are you going to bring back…anyone else?"

Arceus nodded. "The souls for living beings must come from somewhere, since without it, even if life possesses knowledge, emotion, and willpower, it is meaningless without the quintessence that distinguishes it as being truly sentient and, in its own way, eternal…and since I already contain the memories and personas of all those who lived in the reality before this one, why not reuse those souls and give them life once more? I will be more careful than I was before in granting them existence, however…one of the reasons that the last reality became so bad was because there was, essentially, nobody directing it. All of my conscious self was divided up among the countless souls scattered and _fighting _across creation, leaving my subconscious power to keep things running…but without guidance, it drove the worlds into an endless cycle of futile and pointless battles between opposing forces that always resulted in death for everyone in the end. This time, I will not allow that to happen. I shall draw the essence of the souls from myself, but I will continue to manifest my will in this form; I will govern the universes from a place of my choosing, to keep the tides of order and chaos in a balance suitable for life…and yet I will not be too firm or controlling in doing so, for I do not wish to be a tyrant dictating every aspect of the lives of my children. I will be keeping a closer eye on them than I was able to before, and I will make my intentions and hopes for them known beforehand, but I will allow them to live their lives in whichever way they choose to, for it is only through the exercise of free will that a being with a soul can truly call itself alive, and not a puppet dancing to an unseen Other's strings."

"And my friends will be among the souls that you're going to bring back, right?" Latias asked hopefully. She was fascinated by all that Arceus was talking about—how could she not be, was it even _possible_ to not be fascinated by something said by God?—but she was rather anxious to know the answer to her question.

Arceus nodded again. "Indeed…as well as the soul of the one whom you miss most, the one with whom your destiny is inextricably bound. You will see all of them again."

Her heart leapt with joy. "When?"

"Not yet," Arceus said, dashing Latias' hopes. "Do not fret, little one. You will see them all again, indeed…but there is little point in bringing them into the world if there is no world for them to be brought into, now is there?"

"Wait, then why'd you bring _us_ into existence?" asked Dialga.

"So you could _make_ the worlds that everyone else would live in," Uxie said in monotone.

"Oh," said Dialga.

Azelf frowned. "Wait, then is that it? Were we just created to make universes for and serve those who will come after us? What kind of a life is that? Don't we have a say in anything? Can't we have lives of our own? You said that you would allow living beings to use free will at their own discretion, doesn't that apply to us, too?"

The others frowned, starting to get indignant expressions on their faces. "Hey, yeah! Doesn't it?" Palkia asked.

_Uh-oh,_ Latias thought uneasily, not liking where this was going. From the concerned expression on Mew's face, neither was Arceus' new mate.

Arceus himself, however, seemed to take the potential rebellion of his children in good stride. "Of course it does. I created you to help me construct a new reality, after which I would have let you roam free to do whatever you wished, so long as you did not seek to harm the life you helped me bring into being. But if you would rather have your freedom now, then you may have it, and do whatever you wish with your lives. It will be harder and will take longer for me to create the new world without you, but if you do not wish to help me, it is your right to choose not to if you so desire." He shrugged. "I will not stand in your way."

Arceus' four children (Uxie hadn't gotten involved) looked confused, and maybe a little hurt. "You won't even try to stop us from leaving?" asked an upset Mesprit.

"Don't we mean anything to you at all?" asked an unhappy Dialga.

"Of course you do. I love all of you as my dear children," Arceus said calmly. "And it is because I love you that I will allow you to live freely if you so choose. As I said before, I am not a tyrant, and I believe in the exercise of free will. I will miss you if you leave, but it is because I love you that I will allow you to go, if that is what you want."

The four children started looking guilty. "Now hold on, we didn't say we _wanted_ to leave!" Palkia said quickly.

"Yeah, we were just wondering how much you really cared about us, and if we were more than tools to you," Azelf added.

"Of course we'll help you build the new world. That's what you made us for, right?" Mesprit said. "I mean, yeah, we could choose not to, but…if you don't fulfill the purpose you were created for, what kind of life can you live, really?"

"What she said," Dialga added.

Latias raised an eyebrow and glanced at Uxie. "He knew that would change their minds, didn't he?"

"Duh," Uxie replied blandly. "I did, too."

"Because you know everything," Latias guessed.

Uxie nodded. "Pretty much."

"Even why Arceus chose to exclude me from being unified with the other souls, and what he has in mind for me?" Latias pressed.

Uxie paused. "…Yeah, but I'm not going to tell you. He wouldn't like that."

Latias shrugged, somewhat disappointed but not really surprised. "Oh well, it was worth a try."

Arceus nodded gratefully to his offspring. "Very well. I would be more than happy to have your assistance. Thank you for choosing to aid me in building this new reality. Without your help, things would have been harder, and it would have been more likely that the new world would share many of the flaws that made the last one so unlivable."

The children nodded. "Right," said Palkia, slapping his claws together. "So let's get started already!"

"Awww," Mew said happily. "I'm glad that ended well. Now we're a big happy family! Let's have a group hug!" Her 'kids' gave her awkward looks. She frowned. "What, you don't want to? Too bad, I'm in the mood, and there's no stopping me when I want something! HUG!" The children of Arceus cried out in alarm (except for Uxie, as usual) as Mew abruptly and without warning grew as big as Arceus himself (well, maybe a little smaller), grabbed the kids in her short arms (which were now bigger than they were) and pressed them all to her chest (despite their shouts of protest and alarm), a blissful expression on her face. "I feel all warm and fuzzy inside…although I suppose I usually do…oh well, I don't really care."

Latias blinked, wondering if she should be grateful or envious that she wasn't getting a hug. She found herself missing Rayquaza again and sighed unhappily. "You are troubled," Arceus said, startling her. "What is wrong?"

"Oh, s-sorry, I just…I really miss _him_…you know who," she said sadly. "You'd have to, he's inside of you…" She looked up at the Original One. "I don't suppose there's enough of him inside of you still conscious enough to miss me too?" Arceus said nothing. Latias sighed. "I know you said there was no point in bringing my friends back until there's a world for them to be brought into, but…you brought Mew back. Couldn't you bring back Rayquaza, too? Just for a little while?"

"I have plans for Rayquaza…just as I have plans for many of your friends, and even yourself," Arceus said after a moment. "But…the time is not yet right. Before I can enact those plans, I need to lay down the foundation for them, and to do that, I must create the new reality. Only when all the universes have been completed and the myriad worlds filling them have been seeded with life can I bring back Rayquaza and your other friends. And only then will you understand what I have in mind for you."

Somehow, she was not surprised that Arceus had a place for her in the new reality he was making. Why else would she still be here? "That's something else I've been wondering…why did you choose me, out of all the other countless souls inside of you, to be excluded from your rebirth? Why didn't you let me be a part of you, and just choose someone else to do whatever it is you want me to do?"

He looked at her for a moment. "That," he said finally. "Is something you must figure out for yourself."

She sighed. "Why am I not surprised?"

"Hey, what are you guys doing standing there by yourselves? I wanna hug you too!" Mew yelled, interrupting Latias and Arceus' conversation by glomping Latias. Thankfully, she had reverted to her usual size, and so did not dwarf the dragon girl. Latias was somewhat surprised that she could be hugged at all, considering that she was still a spirit, but chalked it up to whatever proto-matter had formed on her when Palkia was born. In any event, Mew's hug felt good…like hugs were supposed to. It still didn't make her feel as good as she did whenever Rayquaza held her in his great coils, though…

"You're too depressed," Mew complained, letting go of her. She glanced at her mate. "Hmmph. You sure you can't just bring back her boyfriend now?"

"No, I cannot," Arceus repeated.

Mew shrugged. "Oh well. Guess I won't give you a hug, then. Or do anything…_else_. After all, we _are_ supposed to be mates now."

Arceus shrugged back. "If that is what you wish."

"Ew, Mom! Don't talk about you and Father doing it! That's gross!" Dialga whined.

"I'm _still _wondering how they'd do it…" said Palkia.

"Well, aside from the rather obvious size changing ability Mew and Arceus both possess, they could also-" Uxie started.

"WE DON'T WANT TO KNOW _THAT _BADLY!" everyone else yelled at him.

Latias sweatdropped. "Yep, _definitely_ getting edited out of the Creation story…"

…

It was not long after that when Arceus managed to rally his new family together, and they set about the process of constructing the new reality. Latias got to watch alongside Mesprit, Uxie, Azelf, and Mew, since they weren't really needed at the moment for more than moral support. It was…an _incredibly_ awe-inspiring sight, to witness Arceus, Palkia, and Dialga essentially construct not just one multiverse, but _hundreds of thousands_ of them, essentially out of thin air. Even billions of years later, Latias would still be unable to find the right words to describe what she witnessed there at the dawn of the new world, and she had seen a _lot_ of universes being created and destroyed throughout her many lifetimes. However, all of those times the universes had been made essentially on automatic, as Arceus had said before. Basically the same elements and structures being recycled over and over again.

But this…_this_ was something new, something different. After all, a picture created by an unthinking and emotionless computer was nowhere near as vivid and colorful and _alive_ as a painting made by a true master. And that was, essentially, what was being created before her.

Arceus and his sons had decided to begin their great work by creating what would amount to the core of all reality, for, as Arceus said, "Without the center, the rest cannot stand." This core would be where Arceus himself would live, since he _was_ essentially the Source of everything, and all things would naturally radiate from him, so it really wouldn't make much sense for him to be anywhere else than at the cornerstone of all Creation. Bending time and space like silly putty (and basically producing tons of the stuff from nothingness), father and sons created a dimension of breathtaking beauty as big as an average-sized multiverse with a single gargantuan planet (the biggest Latias had ever seen) dominating the center of this universe, orbited by thousands of smaller moons and planetoids with a million suns lining the periphery of the cosmos and bathing the inner worlds in continuous light that made everything it touched look more beautiful the longer it shone on it….and most of the things there were pretty beautiful to begin with. The planet and the surrounding moons were not made of physical matter as Latias knew it but what essentially amounted to solidified light, energy, and thought, all of which could be constantly shaped and reshaped by the wills and wishes of the people who would one day populate that universe. This made it, quite literally, a place where dreams could come true.

Of course, not all those dreams were essentially good or wise ones, as was made evident when Palkia decided to erect an immense (and oddly phallic) tower dedicated to himself on one side of the giant planet, which naturally led to Dialga making one on the other side that was taller, causing Palkia to make his first one bigger, which made Dialga build up _his _bigger, and so on and so forth until they had huge palaces that totally dominated the surface of the planet with spires that scratched the edges of the universe. They didn't last very long though; when Azelf sneezed (due to Mew tickling his nose with a feather) the palaces collapsed on themselves and disintegrated, much to the chagrin of the two brothers, and the amusement of everyone else. "Without a strong bedrock of will to support it, the most grandiose of dreams is little more than an empty jar; devoid of content and as easy to shatter as glass," Arceus lectured his sons.

Azelf stuck his tongue out at the embarrassed dragons. "See? I _told_ you willpower was important."

Arceus explained that this universe, dubbed the Celestial Heavens, would be the place from which his power would spread throughout the new reality and sustain the spirits of living things everywhere…once living things actually existed, that is. He would dwell on the central planet, called 'Source,' and watch over all of Creation with his family, those who were close to him, and those who served him and carried out his will throughout the worlds.

Using his willpower, he caused a magnificent city the size of several continents put together made of equal parts crystal, stone, vegetation, metal, and solid light to arise from the surface of Source. This city would be Elysium, the holy capitol, the place from which all of reality would be run. It would serve as both a place of residence for many of the beings who would occupy the Celestial Heavens and serve Arceus' will as well as be a giant cosmic computer of sorts which would keep some of the more fundamental and complex elements of Creation working smoothly.

He then caused an enormous tree bigger than any other that Latias had ever seen and larger than most solar systems to sprout from the opposite side of the planet. Arceus called this tree Yggdrasil, and said it was also there to help support reality, plus it 'looked nice' and had good 'feng shui.' While Mew tried to stop her big draconic 'sons' from 'marking their territory' on the giant tree, Latias commented that everything that had been built so far was very impressive but seemed rather empty. Arceus assured her that there would be plenty of people living in this universe soon enough, they just hadn't gotten around to making them yet.

Before moving onto the next phase of their great work, Dialga used his temporal powers at his father's behest to cause time to flow through the Celestial Heavens in such a way so that the longer something existed in that universe, the stronger and more real it would become, in contrast to how many things had been in the previous reality, in which things got weaker and decayed due to entropy and aging the longer they were around. This would make the mind's power over the matter of the Celestial Heavens even stronger, and not only ensured that its reality would be controlled by those with the strongest hearts and minds but essentially meant that anything which dwelled in that place long enough effectively became immortal and everlasting, yet would continue changing to become better and more beauteous as it aged, rather than stagnating in stasis. When Latias queried if Arceus planned for all of reality to have a similar flow of time, he confessed that it would probably not be the best idea. "Living beings will be able to exist in places like this either upon their death or when they, as individuals or species, have evolved biologically, psychologically, and spiritually to the point where they _deserve_ to receive this form of immortality. I love my children dearly and do not want them to suffer excessively, but I also do not want to coddle them. Giving them a gift like this from the start would only lead to corruption and indolence, so if they want me to give them true immortality, they must prove themselves worthy first by earning it on their own merit."

"I guess that makes sense," Latias admitted. "But then does that mean you're going to use the same structure of time flow that the old reality had as the basis for the other universes you're going to build? I thought the excessive amount of entropy in that kind of time flow was one of the reasons the old reality got so bad…another reason it did, I mean. There were an awful lot of causes…"

"Yes, entropy will be a part of the cosmos, for without it there is either temporal paralysis or timelessness similar to the immortality which, as I have already explained, I will not give to my children until they have earned it," Arceus said. "However, I will use it to a much lesser extent than it existed in the prior incarnation of reality, so that people will have longer lives and those lives will be a little less hard and freer of suffering."

"Is freer actually a word?" Palkia asked skeptically.

"Yes," said Uxie.

"And if it wasn't before, it is now," Arceus added.

"Mother, stop throwing stuffed animals at me!" Dialga cried.

"I don't wanna," Mew said childishly, continuing to conjure stuffed animals out of thin air and hurling them telekinetically at Dialga.

"We have such a weird family…" muttered Mesprit.

"Yeah," Azelf agreed.

"I've seen worse," Latias said nonchalantly.

"There have been and will be weirder ones," Uxie promised.

Once the Celestial Heavens were finished (save for actually getting people to live there), Arceus led everyone outside the universe and, with the help of his dragon sons, constructed a dense shell of smaller, empty universes to cover the exterior 'wall' of the Celestial Heavens. Dialga made it so that time in these universes would flow pretty much the same way it did in the Celestial Heavens, while Palkia made the matter of these empty universes even more mutable to thought than the Celestial Heavens themselves were. Arceus explained that these universes would be afterlifes for the countless souls who would inevitably die at some point in time and needed somewhere to go. They were empty because, rather than imposing his own opinion on what sort of afterlife his children would come to when they died, he would allow them to choose all by themselves. The souls would drift into whichever afterlife universe resonated the most with them, then use their preconceived notions of what the world beyond would be like to turn that universe into the ideal afterlife for them. The various afterlifes would be connected so that souls could travel from one place to another to visit family or friends who might have wound up somewhere else, or just to explore the many heavens spawned by the imaginations of the living. If the dead souls ever tired of their afterlife, they could choose to either be reincarnated back in the mortal realm, or go further inward to the Celestial Heavens and seek employment in the service of Arceus. "I see no reason to create a Hell or Purgatory to punish those who are wicked," he said, after inspecting the ready and waiting blank afterlifes and finding them satisfactory. "Since the afterworld the dead find themselves in will be a reflection of their own hearts, evil souls will find themselves trapped in a literal hell of their own making…unable to break free until they realize the error of their ways and strive to redeem themselves."

"That makes sense," said Mesprit. The others nodded in agreement…

Except for Latias. "Wait, what?! Evil souls?! But…but I thought evil wasn't going to exist anymore! Wasn't that the entire point of everything that happened in the last reality, of all the battles and suffering and sacrifices that had to be made, to create a new universe free of evil?!"

Arceus gave her a regretful look. "That was indeed the point of everything you and those alongside you fought for…but while you did succeed in destroying the endless cycle that pitted souls against each other in life and death and caused much suffering and misery so that we could all start anew…it is all but impossible to create a reality completely free of evil for all time, for evil is a sad but inevitable consequence of granting free will to the living…for if people can choose to do good, they can also choose _not_ to." He sighed wearily. "The only way to prevent that from occurring would be to restrict or eliminate free will entirely…and by doing so, would I not myself become evil?"

"…I suppose that makes sense," Latias said reluctantly, seeing the truth in Arceus' words. "But…if that's the case, then was everything we did for nothing?"

"Not for nothing, dear," Mew said reassuringly, putting a warm arm on the distraught dragon's shoulder. "We're going to make sure what happened the last time won't happen again, right honey?"

Arceus nodded. "While I cannot eradicate evil forever without infringing on free will or the minds of my children, there is something I can do to reduce or better combat evil whenever it should appear…and you will have a part in that something, Latias."

Latias blinked. "I will?"

"Yes…but your role is not something I am ready to disclose just yet," Arceus said enigmatically. "You will find out when the time is right."

Latias sighed. "Like when I'm going to get Rayquaza back, huh?"

"Pretty much," Arceus admitted.

"Hey Father, Palkia hit me when you weren't looking. Does that make him evil so you can put him in an afterlife reflecting his twisted heart?" Dialga asked hopefully.

"Hey! He's lying, which makes him eviler! I only hit him because he hit me first!" Palkia protested.

"I only hit you because you made fun of the way my head's shaped!" Dialga snarled.

"And I only said that because you called me gay again!" Palkia roared.

"Stop that, both of you!" Mew scolded, whipping them on the heads with her tail. "Neither of you are evil, just childish and immature!"

"Owowowowowow!" they cried, rubbing where she had hit them.

"I'm glad we get along better than that," Mesprit said to her siblings.

"Yeah, really," Azelf agreed.

"Indeed," Uxie concurred.

"I mean no offense, but why didn't you make them a little…smarter and more mature?" Latias asked Arceus quietly.

"If they were too smart, they might try to use their powers in more effective ways to kill each other," Arceus replied. "Which would, of course, destroy the fabric of the reality we are trying to create."

She frowned. "Then why didn't you just make it so they'd get along instead of hating each other?"

"I didn't make it that way; they're acting like this of their own accord. Typical sibling rivalry," Arceus said with a shrug. "That and they both are terrified that I love one of them more than the other, so struggle for the self-perceived title of 'most cherished firstborn.' They do not seem to realize that I love both of them equally, but I suppose that's to be expected."

"I guess so," Latias admitted. "Then why aren't the other three acting like that?"

"Because we're not idiots like they are," said Uxie.

"And our powers are less volatile and dangerous than theirs are," Mesprit added.

"Yeah, what they said," said Azelf while picking his nose.

Now that the foundation of all reality had been laid down, it was time to begin the biggest step of all: making everything else. This would involve the creation of countless universes for the future living things to dwell in, and so would naturally be the most time-consuming task of all.

Palki and Dialga began by creating one hundred million trillion 'seed' universes and scattering them all over the place beyond the outermost layer of afterlifes encasing the Celestial Heavens. These seed universes were small at first, but with just a little coaxing from Palkia they ignited in spectacular Big Bangs, swelling up to enormous proportions (well, relatively enormous, they were all motes of dust compared to the Celestial Heavens) within milliseconds as countless complex nuclear reactions boiled through them and brought all kinds of matter into being. Palkia kept careful watch over the amounts of molecules and the types of elements that were being formed in these primordial furnaces, shifting the amounts of energy and the degree of the reactions which were occurring just enough so that each seed universe would have the proper climate to support life. Arceus himself altered each universe just a little further once most of the matter that would be created had been, tweaking the laws of physics and reality and magic in each universe so that not only would each universe be potentially capable of supporting different kinds of living beings, the sorts of things they would be capable of doing would differ from universe to universe.

Dialga then took over, using his power over time to rewind and duplicate the birth of each seed universe, causing each seed to suddenly find itself surrounded by billions of identical siblings. Arceus touched each of these new 'clone' universes and altered every one in subtle, not immediately visible ways, guaranteeing that when life arose in those universes, while it might be similar to those in the neighboring universes, it would not be exactly the same. "Part of the fun of having a multiverse is seeing how the same people you might be familiar with in one world differ in a parallel one," Arceus explained. Dialga continued tinkering with the time flow of the new trillions of multiverses, making it so that time would flow basically forward and that things would be born and eventually decay and die, but it would generally take longer and not be such a painful process as it had been in the previous reality. He also rigged up an incredibly complex system by which the timelines of each individual universe would be able to grow outward through the fourth dimension from their point of origin, splitting and branching and becoming more diverse as they got older, yet still able to intertwine with the timelines of some of the parallel universes in the same multiverse when two or more universes became so similar that they eventually merged. In fact, he set things up so that some day, in the very, very, _very_ distant future, all universes would eventually merge together and form one gargantuan 'megaverse' of sorts, with the Celestial Heavens at its center. Latias wasn't sure she understood how that worked, but then again, temporal mechanics had never been her forte. "That won't happen for a while, in any event, so in the meantime, let's just call this the 'omniverse,'" Arceus said decisively.

"Catchy," commented Mew.

"I know, that's why I'm calling it that."

While the new multiverses grew and continued to bud and expand, Arceus returned to Source and sprouted thousands and thousands of cosmic arms, which he then used to weave parts of his fur into strings with which he sewed the young omniverse together, so that he was connected to every star and planet and grain of dirt in every universe in every multiverse, and every star and planet and grain of dirt in every universe in every multiverse was connected to him. But he did not stop there, he also wove more strands that connected every object within a universe together, and strands that connected every universe in a multiverse, and other strands that connected every multiverse, and _still_ more strands that connected everything in every multiverse to everything in every other multiverse, creating an unimaginably complex and intricate web which tied all things together, so that all of Creation was inextricably bound to everything else in an enormous pattern which it hurt Latias' head to look at. "Guess this proves string theory," she said.

Arceus nodded. "Indeed. These superstrings will bind everything in Creation together. By manipulating these strings, we will be able to watch over and understand all living things…and in return, by manipulating the strings, all living things will be able to understand and even control each other."

"Is that a good thing?" asked an alarmed Latias.

"It is what it is," said Arceus. "Some will take advantage of these ties to commit evil, but that is inevitable. Others will use them to perform good deeds, or to prevent evil ones from coming to pass. That is what we will do."

"Oh…I suppose that makes sense," Latias admitted. "What are they made of, anyway?"

"Love, of course," Arceus said.

Latias blinked. "Love?!"

"Well, duh, what else would it be?" Mew asked, rolling her eyes.

Mesprit nodded. "Yeah, love is one of the strongest forces there is…and if it wasn't before, it is now." Palkia and Dialga started gagging at the sappiness of that, until Mew whipped them on the heads.

When planets began to form from the planetisimals and particles in the solar nebulae that would eventually become star systems, Arceus called the three fairies to him and told them it was their turn to assist him. As they (and everyone else) watched, Arceus extended his many arms once more and scooped chunks of rock out of the surface of Source and levitated them in the air around him. Once the stones were in position, he wrote words into their surface, using his burning fingers as a stylus. "Another one of the problems which plagued the old reality was, due to lack of any central multiversal authority, people often had conflicts over belief. They either believed that I existed, or that I didn't, or that their interpretation of me was correct and everyone else's was wrong, and so everyone who was wrong needed to be killed or shown the error of their ways. These wars of faith have ravaged many a universe, and while the gods that were worshipped sometimes did in fact exist, they either didn't particularly care about the deaths made in their name or actually encouraged it. I intend to prevent, or at least reduce, the likelihood of new wars of faith being waged right from the start."

He gestured to the thousands of stones floating around him. "These stones are Law Rocks. They will be distributed to every planet in every universe, whether life will one day inhabit those worlds or not. These rocks will be completely indestructible and future skeptics and scientists will be able to verify that they were not made by mortal hands and have, in fact, existed for longer than their own worlds. The rocks will not only provide virtually inarguable proof that I exist, but will also convey messages of goodwill to my creations as well as an explanation of what it is that I expect from them in generally clear terms. They are more guidelines on how to live a good life than actual rules _saying_ what I want them to do, though I am sure that interpretations of just what I mean will vary, hopefully not enough to lead sects of people who perceive different meanings in my messages to war against each other. They will also serve to remind all peoples that they are all my children and I love them equally, for I gave every planet a Law Rock, and so wanted everyone to know my hopes for them. In theory, this will help band different species together, for if they all share the same belief, and if everyone possesses a Law Rock which proves that I created them all basically equally, what reason would there be for them to fight each other?" He glanced at his family. "However, I am aware that theory is not necessarily the same thing as reality. So, to better enable these Law Rocks to bring peace…Uxie, infuse them with your knowledge so that people will know the instant they gaze upon them that they are the real thing and not some forgery, and so that everyone will be able to understand what the Rocks say no matter what their species or language, even if they don't actually know how to read. Mesprit, imbue them with your emotion so that my children will feel my love and hopes for them when they gaze upon the Rocks and understand at least in principle what it is that I expect from them. Azelf, grant them your willpower so that not only will those who see the Law Rocks aspire to follow my guidelines, but they will also have the strength to try and carry out those aspirations."

"Sure, no problem," said Mesprit, somewhat awed and humbled by the first task her father was giving to her and her siblings. "Right, guys?"

"Yeah, we can do that," Azelf agreed.

"Indubitably," Uxie said in monotone.

And that's just what they did. When they were finished, each of the Law Rocks glowed with a warm, soft light too high up the electromagnetic spectrum to be seen by most eyes, but to deities (and spirits) like those present, it was quite visible. Latias personally thought the message on the Law Rocks was pretty good, and was much more considerate and personalized than, 'We apologize for the inconvenience.' After they were done admiring the Rocks, Palkia used his spatial powers to replicate the stones which had already been produced so that there were enough for the entire omniverse, and then cast them off through wormholes so that each of them would reach the planets they were destined for.

When that task was finished, Arceus turned to Mew. "And now, the most important task of all must be performed. Everything we have done so far has merely been setting the stage for what is to come. You know what you must do."

Mew nodded. "Yep, I certainly do, Big Guy…but, I think I'm gonna need a little jumpstart, if you know what I mean." She fluttered her big blue eyes at him sensually.

"Very well," said Arceus.

And then they made love. Right there. In front of their somewhat disturbed and more than a little freaked-out children and Latias.

"Oh…uh…Father!" Palkia screamed, clutching his eyes. "I didn't need to see this!"

"If they weren't my parents, I'd have no problem watching this, but since they are, it seems horribly wrong!" Dialga agreed.

"It's a beautiful physical expression of true love…so why exactly do I feel like throwing up?" wondered Mesprit.

"You lucky bastard, you don't even have to watch this, since your eyes are always closed," Azelf accused Uxie enviously.

"Actually, since I know everything, I don't need to see with my eyes," Uxie said emotionlessly. "As such, every single moment of their passion is engraved into my brain…as well as every moment of every other time they will have intercourse, which, believe me, will be a lot…forever."

"…Oh," said Azelf. "Um…I…sorry."

"I also keep my eyes closed because anyone who looks into them will lose their memories," Uxie added.

"Oh! Then do you think you could…" Azelf asked.

"Very well." Uxie opened his eyes. Azelf looked into them. Uxie closed his eyes again.

Azelf blinked. "Who am I? Where am I? Hey, that big white thing and that smaller pink thing are having sex!"

"Yes," Uxie agreed. "Yes, they are." Mesprit sweatdropped.

Latias stared incredulously as she watched Arceus and Mew go at it. Although she supposed she should have felt disgusted, she felt more…well, _inadequate_ than anything else. She hadn't necessarily thought that she and Rayquaza had the best sex ever, but she had always thought it was very good…until she saw how Arceus and Mew were doing it, and realized that she and Rayquaza were _severely_ lacking in comparison. _Well, at least I'm learning some new techniques to use when I see him again,_ she thought, trying to look on the bright side of things. While this did cheer her up somewhat, it also made her miss her soulmate even more.

After they had made love for approximately…one billion years (Dialga counted), Mew, thoroughly fertilized, went out into the omniverse. By this point, most of the solar systems had finished forming and the planets were cooling off from the violent seismic and volcanic upheavals which characterized the early phases of their life cycles, and were now just about ready to start producing life. Mew flew all over the place, seeding the planets and causing early bacteria and microbes to form, bacteria and microbes which would, eventually, begin to evolve and transform into more advanced forms of life under the watchful eyes of Arceus and his mate. She returned a few million years later (it had been a big job, even for a creature who could teleport and didn't need to obey the laws of physics governing the universes), looking very pleased with herself as the life she had planted began to flourish and become stronger and more complex, and she and Arceus had a quickie (only a few thousand years or so) to celebrate.

"You have all done well. Together we have constructed a new reality, and fertilized it with the seeds of life. Throughout the universes, those seeds are already blossoming, and in time they will become intelligent life forms possessing souls and capable of reason and love," Arceus told his family (and Latias). Mew and the kids congratulated themselves, until Arceus' tone of voice became sterner. "However, they will also be capable of evil and hatred."

"We already know that," said Latias. "You said it was a consequence of free will, and so you were going to allow it to happen."

Arceus shook his head. "Not exactly. Evil is an inevitable result of free will, and while it will indeed begin to exist on many worlds, there is no reason for us to let it flourish. If the madness and power-lust of a greedy individual or group threatens to oppress or destroy the free will of other living beings, we are obligated, as the creators and maintainers of reality, to do something about it. To that end, as my final act to set the stage for the birth of sentient life throughout the omniverse, I will create an organization, headquartered right here in the Celestial Heavens, dedicated to directly and indirectly eliminating evil whenever it rears its head throughout the worlds, as well as influencing particular events so that certain devastating catastrophes, whether natural, accidental, or intentional, will either never come to pass or have much less drastic effects. The members of this organization will be known as the 'Guardians.'"

"Sounds like as good a name as any," Mew commented.

"It certainly seems logical, if unoriginal," Uxie said emotionlessly.

"Uxie! Father decided to use it, so it can't be unoriginal!" Mesprit hissed.

"Yeah, because he's the Original One, so everything he does is original…I think…" Palkia said, blinking in confusion as everyone else rolled their eyes.

"That sounds like a good idea, but this isn't going to be the kind of organization that protects people by controlling every facet of their lives, is it?" Latias asked uneasily.

Arceus shook his head. "Of course not. If somebody decides to do something wicked, it's their choice…we'll just prepare for the consequences of that choice in advance and try to keep them from being too harmful to everyone else. We will do the same if we sense any other kind of disaster on the horizon, either subtly or directly influence the people involved in it so that they can, hopefully, resolve it on their own. I do not intend for any member of this organization to have to intervene in person unless there is absolutely no other option or if the threat is too great for us to do anything but get involved."

"Oh…that sounds good," Latias said, somewhat relieved.

"Wait, how will we be able to prepare for the consequences of a choice in advance? That implies we'd know people are going to make that choice in advance or something…which smacks of predestination…which eliminates free will, doesn't it?" asked a confused Azelf. "And that is NOT cool."

"Not necessarily," said Arceus. "Due to our position at the center of all universes, the Guardians will be able to manipulate and analyze the superstrings connecting everything to look for any…dissonances, imbalances, anything that might hint at a potential disaster on either a major or minor level, so that we can get ready for it. People will still have all the free will they want to choose to do something bad or not, but we'll have been monitoring the strings representing their minds in advance and been aware there was a chance they might decide to do something dangerous, so have prepared for it."

"Then we're basically reading everyone's minds?" asked an alarmed Latias, her doubts surfacing again.

"Well, if we're to do an effective job as the protectors of all reality, we're sort of going to _have_ to, dear," Mew said apologetically. "And besides, it's not like we're going to _do_ anything with most of the information and thoughts we gather that way, except for the ones that could potentially become hazards to other people. We won't be hurting anyone; we're trying to _keep_ people from getting hurt. I know there may be some ethical connotations if you look at it in a certain way, but…I really think it's for the best."

"…I suppose," Latias said reluctantly. "I guess if it's for good purposes. It's just that power like that could be easily abused, you know?"

"Then we will try our hardest not to let it be abused," Arceus said firmly. "And Latias…that is where you come in. This is why I chose you to stay behind while all your other friends became a part of me."

Latias understood almost at once, now that she had all the appropriate context. It was a rather startling epiphany. "You want…_me_ to be one of these 'Guardians'? Maybe even their leader?!"

"Perhaps not the leader," Arceus admitted. "But certainly an important member, and a symbol for everyone in the organization, and for people throughout the universes, of something to aspire towards…an ideal they can reach for…of what they, too, can do to become heroes."

Latias blinked. "Um…wow."

"Dude, that's awesome!" cried Palkia.

"Yeah, but why can't we have that job?" Dialga complained. Everyone stared at him. "What?"

"N-not to complain or anything--I mean, this is a big honor and all--but…" Latias stammered. "I don't think I understand. Why _me?_"

Arceus smiled. Or at least, she thought she did. It felt like he was smiling. "That," he said. "Is something you must discover for yourself."

"Oh," she said quietly.

Arceus tilted his head. "You do not have to take the position if you do not think-"

"No, no!" Latias protested. "I'll take the job, I'm just…you know, surprised, that's all. I'm not sure I actually deserve something like this."

"Which is one of the reasons you're perfect for the job," Mew said, looking amused.

"If you say so," Latias said doubtfully. "I don't really know how good I would be, but…if you think I can do it, and you think I'm worthy, then yes, I'll do it. I want to do my part to protect this new omniverse and everyone in it. I don't want what happened in our old reality to ever happen again." She hesitated. "But…before I do this, I have to know. You've been avoiding the subject for ages. What about my friends? If I become this high-ranking Guardian, will I ever see them again?"

"Of course you will," Arceus said. "I wouldn't be surprised if a few of them wound up becoming a part of our organization as well."

"Including Rayquaza?" she pressed.

Arceus nodded. "Yes, including Rayquaza. But he's not the only person close to you who will be a part of this…" A cosmic arm emerged from his side and bent down towards Latias. Its hand opened, revealing…

Latias gasped. "Latios!"

Latias' brother, a luminous blue and white dragon (currently a spirit, just like her), smirked and waved at her from Arceus' palm. "Hey, sis. Long time no see. What's up?"

Rather than answering, Latias shot forward and tackled her brother in a great hug that nearly knocked him out of Arceus' hand. "Brother, I…I've missed you so much…" She laid her head on his shoulder, eyes starting to tear up. "I almost can't believe you're really here..."

Latios gently took her head in his hands and lifted it off his shoulder so he could look her in the face. "Hey, hey, don't cry…I haven't gone anywhere. I've been right here, all along…all of us have." He put a claw on his sister's chest. "We never left. Not really. We've always been with you. You know that, right?"

Latias laughed and choked back a sob in the same breath. "I guess I did…I just didn't realize it until right now…and…" She glanced at him anxiously. "Is everyone okay in…in there?"

Latias grinned. "We're all fine. Better than fine, really. It's…I don't really know how to describe it. Like rapture or something. It's too bad you weren't able to join the rest of us in there, you were badly missed. I'm…almost sorry to be leaving, actually," he admitted. "But," he said, before she could say anything to protest. "I'm more than happy to leave if I'm needed elsewhere. With you. And I know everyone else will be, too."

Latias hugged her larger sibling, really crying now. "Oh, brother…"

"Oh, brother," Palkia and Dialga both said in a different tone of voice while making faces of disgust.

"Awwww, that's so cute! HUG!" Mew squealed, grabbing the three fairies and hugging all of them tightly.

"Mom…can't…breathe…" Azelf choked.

"We don't need air, we don't actually breathe," Uxie said flatly.

Azelf blinked. "Why didn't anyone tell me that before now?!"

Arceus extended another one of his arms. "Latias and Latios…the twin dragons, and soon to be the first Guardians; symbols of order and goodness throughout the omniverse." He opened the hand of his second arm. "Each of you, enter my hands, and I will infuse you with my power and transform you into my Champions."

Latios glanced at his sister. "You ready for this, sis?"

"With you by my side, and everyone else coming soon? There's nothing I can't do," Latias replied with a smile.

They parted, each of the dragons flying into one of Arceus' hands. The deity closed his fingers around them tightly and raised his fists into the air. He began to squeeze, his eyes glowing and light streaming from the cracks between his fingers as he focused his omnipotent energies into the dragon twins, changing them and giving them new power. After a few moments, he opened his fists…and two beautiful, radiant beings rose from his hands, light flowing off their forms and their glistening white wings. "Oooooh," said Arceus' children and mate.

"Shiny," Mew drooled.

"Incredible…why don't I look that pretty?!" Mesprit asked enviously.

"You're not supposed to," Uxie said emotionlessly. Mesprit's face turned red and she smacked him. "Ow," the Knowledge Pokemon said tonelessly.

"Man, too bad she's taken, because she's pretty hot now," Dialga complained.

"Yeah, and so's her brother," Palkia commented. Everyone stared at him. "What? He is! Just because I think another guy's handsome doesn't make me gay, you know!"

The transfigured Latias and Latios floated before Arceus' face, absorbing all that had been done to them and trying to fathom the new power they possessed. "And so it is done," the Original One boomed, retracting his arms. "Latias, the Guardian of Light, and Latios, the Guardian of Hope…together, you shall be my Champions; beacons showing all beings, living or spirit, what they one day can become if they try hard enough."

"We will not let you down, Arceus," Latios promised, his voice sounding like the ringing of chimes. "We will do great things and protect the peoples of all universes."

Latias nodded. "Yes…but…Arceus…I do not mean to pester you, but…" She hesitated, her voice trailing off in a sound like the mournful wail of church bells at a funeral. "Rayquaza…you promised…"

Arceus nodded his great head. "So I did. And now that nearly everything which needs to be done to prepare for the future has been done, I will return him to you, as promised."

And he did just that, and all rejoiced. But the tale of Latias and Rayquaza's joyous reunion will have to wait for another day, because it is a different story that must be told.

While Arceus and his children had indeed done all they could to prepare for the birth of living things and the evil which would eventually rise from the exercise of free will, they had not expected how immense and monstrous that evil could sometimes be in response to such an organized and powerful force of good to oppose it…for, after all, it is always the brightest light which casts the darkest shadow, and while that shadow was defeated, it was not destroyed, and it would return to haunt them another day.

This is the story of what happened when that shadow returned, and how all worlds were nearly destroyed in its wake, and how many brave souls were forced to band together to try and stop it.

It is a tale of love...

…

And so it begins.

What do you think? Not bad for a beginning, huh? Heh, wait until you see what else I have in store. This is gonna be fun….


	2. Everyone hates Hell Year

After the nice build-up from the previous chapter…here's part 2!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story who belong to somebody else. Everything else is mine.

…

She watched from the sidelines as a band of heroes whom she had been subtly helping without their knowledge defeated the evil sorcerer who had been threatening their land.

She nudged a few molecules here and there to keep a chemical being brewed up by an overeager scientist from transforming into a volatile poison which could kill everything on his planet.

She introduced an error into the navigational computers of an immense war fleet, so that their next jump into hyperspace would cause them to emerge in the heart of a supernova, rather than in the orbit of the utterly defenseless and peaceful world they had been about to invade.

In one of her many mortal guises throughout creation, she brokered a peace treaty between two vast galactic empires which might finally put an end to millennia of warfare.

She messed with the DNA of a few malign cells to cure a man who had been dying of a congenital illness that had been plaguing him his entire life.

She inserted a thought into the mind of a suicide bomber who was about to kill himself and the leaders of over a hundred nations suggesting that maybe, just maybe, life was too precious to throw away for religious or ideological differences…and in any event, the weather was really too nice for a terrorist attack, wasn't it? Maybe he should just go outside and enjoy the sunshine and put off the bombing for another day.

She alerted authorities to the location of a serial killer and rapist who had been eluding them for months and altered the molecular composition of the door to his hideout that caused it to swell up in its frame and keep him from escaping until the police could come and get him.

She made the wind blow and knock away some leaves concealing a small, rotting hollow in the ground, causing sunlight to penetrate it and wipe out the virulent bacteria growing within that would have eventually mutated into a lethal virus which would have swept across several solar systems and killed billions.

She shifted gravity and density just a hair on a local level, enough to alter the course of an enormous asteroid that had been hurtling towards an underdeveloped world ill-equipped to repel it and send it on a different trajectory that wouldn't harm anyone.

She checked on and strengthened the bonds restraining a number of former and now imprisoned enemies who had been growing restless and building up their strength to escape before their scheduled purification came about.

She led a strike team to break up an interdimensional black market soul auction that had been troubling her for quite some time, finally capturing its ringleader and all the prospective clients and liberating the souls which had been captured and enslaved.

She slowed down the nuclear reactions occurring within a volatile and unstable star, buying the inhabitants of the nearby worlds a little more time to finish building the escape ships that would get them to safety before their sun inevitably exploded.

And she paused for a moment to appear to a despondent and miserable girl standing on the top of a skyscraper, just long enough to have a chat with her and convince her that suicide really was not the best way to make the pain stop, and life was too important to just throw away because of sadness or hard times.

On billions of worlds in millions of universes, similar disasters of greater or lesser magnitude occurred, many at the same time. And at nearly every catastrophe she was there, guiding and helping and nipping problems in the bud, often without people knowing they had even been forming in the first place. She was capable and willing to spread love and happiness throughout creation and fight sadness and hatred wherever it arose, manifesting in many worlds at many times in countless different forms great and small to combat the forces which preyed at people's souls from without and within.

She was a hero, a champion, a savior, the _Guardian of Light._

And she was also very, very tired.

It was understandable. She had, quite literally, been stretching herself too far, spreading her consciousness out to billions of different worlds scattered across the omniverse, sometimes manifesting herself physically or temporarily possessing someone on the material plane; and other times not; choosing to remain a voice in the wind, a whisper heard in the back of a person's mind without them knowing what it truly was. She knew there were risks to overexerting herself, knew that plenty of other Guardians had pushed themselves just a little too far doing similar work and found their minds completely dispersed across all of reality, but also knew that she had to keep going, had to keep pushing, just for a little longer. The livelihood and wellbeing of countless inhabitants all over the Omniverse were depending on her and those like her to protect them, without even realizing that they needed the protection.

And also…there was the faint hope that if she went far enough, looked in enough universes, spent enough time searching, she might be able to find _him._ She had come close a few times, she was sure of it, but every time she thought she caught a trace of his unique psycho-spiritual scent out of the corner of her awareness, it disappeared. She refused to give up, though. Each hint, each near miss, only made her more determined to find him. She had to, for all their sakes.

"Mom."

There it was again, the scent she was looking for! And just as quickly, it disappeared. She was undeterred. She focused her senses harder and scanned the omniverse, looking for the mysterious signature to pop up. When it did…

"Mom!"

She pounced! Unfortunately, it slipped right through her metaphorical claws. However, she had gotten a stronger whiff of it this time and so could tell when it was approaching in the future. When it appeared again, she was ready for it. She lunged at it, latching on with all with her might, and…

"MOM!"

Once again, the signal faded! She began to grow frustrated. She expanded her senses further, trying to spread her mind out to every corner of the Omniverse, searching every inch of every world for any sign of-

"Oh for the love of…_MOM!"_

Latias' eyes shot open. She surged upwards…and winced as dark spots swarmed before her eyes and her brain felt like it was being clamped in a heavy vice, an enormous headache taking hold of her. "Ohhhh…" Groaning, she held a claw to her forehead. The movement was sluggish, and her arm felt a bit sore and unsteady as she lifted it, as if it had not been used in a while. "What…what the…" She blinked groggily a few times, her vision clearing up and allowing her to see the glittering crystalline figures drifting about her chamber, the spirits and moons and happy fliers gliding by just outside her window, the steadying vital signs displayed on the holographic monitors surrounding her immersion couch, and the deep concern and worry in her daughter's golden eyes. "Huh? Bea? What…unh…what are you doing here? I was…I was in the middle of…"

"Mom," Latias' daughter, Bea, said anxiously. "You told me to wake you up if you spent too long immersed, remember?"

Latias frowned as, slowly, her memories started coming back to her. "Oh yeah…I did…but, I haven't been in for that long-"

"It's been two months," Bea interrupted.

Latias' eyes widened in horror, and her headache spiked. She winced and clutched her forehead again. "Two…two months?! I was in there for…"

Bea nodded. "That's right. Any longer, and you might have been lost forever. I _had_ to wake you up."

Latias nodded slowly, stunned and more than a little afraid. It was all too easy to lose track of time while you were essentially one with the universe, but she had thought she was experienced enough by now to know when it was a good time to return to her body…clearly, she had been wrong. "Two whole months…I almost can't believe it…" She sighed and closed her eyes, both for effect and to offer her pounding head some relief from the bright swirling lights all around her. "I hate Hell Year."

Her daughter sighed. "Don't we all?" Bea asked rhetorically.

…

It was true. Everybody _did_ hate Hell Year. Being a member of the special organization known as the Guardians, dedicated to running the universe and fighting the forces of evil and despair in all their forms whenever they reared their ugly heads, was not exactly easy, even for the members who essentially had desk jobs. Being a Guardian meant you often risked losing your life or even your soul while undercover, getting killed by a villain or monster or politician or whoever it was you were working to undermine, or even suffering total cognitive dissolution throughout the cosmos, the fate Latias had just barely avoided. And while Guardians had to watch out for all of those career-related accidents during the regular course of operations, the probability for all of these fatalities heightened significantly during Hell Year, increasing the stress levels for everyone and generally making their jobs much more difficult than usual.

And it didn't help that in the Celestial Heavens, a single year was roughly equivalent to maybe two hundred and thirty-seven Earth years, so whenever Hell Year came rolling around it took a very long time to end. Thankfully, it only happened once every five thousand Celestial Heaven years (which, of course, were roughly equivalent to one million one hundred and eighty-five thousand Earth years) so the Guardians had lots of time to catch their breath and relax and prepare for the next Hell Year.

Before explaining a bit more about Hell Year, a broader understanding of how the Guardians operate would probably help clarify an understanding of why this regular event was so dreaded and despised. Basically, everyone who lived in the Celestial Heavens was either a member of the Guardians or in training to become a member, and they had millions of agents abroad either seeded individually on specific worlds, in small groups spread throughout particular galaxies or universes, or organized in larger 'branch offices' and subunits responsible for watching over the local multiverse or cluster of multiverses. (With as much territory to watch over as the Guardians did, delegation was a definite must.) While the various tasks the Guardians were responsible for varied from member to member, they usually fall into one of three categories: support, field agent, or webmaster.

Support Guardians, as the name implied, basically did work that supported the full-time Guardians. They were usually the lowest ranked agents in the Guardian hierarchy and in general were made up of the newest members to the organization. They researched, sorted, filed, and fulfilled all the other irreplaceable functions virtually every giant organization requires that are usually overlooked by everyone else. Higher-level support agents were also responsible for performing research, compiling data, and keeping an eye on the ebb and flow of chaos throughout the universes. They monitored specific sectors of the omniverse, depending on where they were assigned, and through a variety of methods which differed from agent to agent (superstring analysis, mind-reading, pattern recognition, listening to 'chatter', or even precognition were included among the most popular methods) watched out for any hint of a threat, great or small, throughout reality, and brought it to the attention of their superiors, who then decided whether or not an active Guardian should be called upon to deal with this potential threat or not. Both higher and lower-level Support Guardians also operated the majority of the devices and systems which kept the laws of physics, magic, and reality throughout the omniverse working properly.

Field agents were, also as the name implied, Guardians who worked out in the universes in person. Of these Guardians there were generally two different kinds: those who made themselves into heroes that fought evil directly and inspired other people to do well with their lives; and stealthier, less visible agents who did their work in the shadows while everyone else was paying attention to the more direct and in-your-face Guardians. They were the ones who infiltrated the ranks of armies and courts and crime syndicates, performed sabotage, gathered intel, fostered dissent and doubt, and did their best to subtly hinder the operations of these nefarious organizations so that it would be easier for heroes and the like to take them down. Many of the middle or higher-ranked Guardians who preferred action or taking a direct hand in protecting the omniverse were field agents.

Finally, the webmasters were Guardians who rarely left the Celestial Heavens in person, instead immersing their consciousness into the fabric of reality using special 'couches' to partially merge with the omniverse, allowing them to become more in tune with the harmonies of the cosmos and be better able to manipulate superstrings to avert potential threats or to lessen or outright put a stop to crises already in motion. While less direct than field agents, webmasters were often responsible for simultaneously averting disasters in multiple different universes by tweaking the laws of physics just enough to keep the disaster from taking place or from being as bad, or to insert a thought into a potentially dangerous person's mind to convince them that maybe what they were doing wasn't necessarily a good idea and perhaps they should do something else with their lives instead; things of that nature. Interestingly, very few field agents scorned the webmasters for staying back at headquarters where it was 'safe' while they risked their lives out in the 'real world,' since they knew all too well that being a webmaster might be even more dangerous and life-threatening than working in the field. By deeply immersing yourself in the superstructure which made up the omniverse, it was all too simple to accidentally spread your consciousness out too much or try too hard to change things in many different places at the same time and suddenly find your mind dispersed throughout all of reality. It was possible for your consciousness to be retrieved if such a thing happened, but it was a very long and painstaking process, and your body was pretty much a drooling comatose wreck until they managed to piece everything that was you back together. Due to the risks webmasters had to face every day on the job, they were usually considered as being among the highest-ranked Guardians.

Latias and Latios, as the Guardians of Light and Hope and two of the most important members, leaders, and figureheads of the Guardian organization, usually found themselves doing a mixture of all three job categories. The fact that they had significantly greater powers with which to perform these tasks was counter-balanced or offset by the fact that they had a much higher workload to compensate for it. Latias rarely complained (much) about her job, though. It was challenging and often dangerous, but she enjoyed helping people and felt that doing her best to safeguard the omniverse was a worthwhile use of her skills.

Even so, she, just like everyone else, absolutely dreaded Hell Year, when not only did the Guardians' workload increase significantly, the danger and threat level of the potential and actual disasters they had to deal with on a regular basis got higher as well.

As mentioned before, Hell Year only happened once every five Celestial millennia, roughly the equivalent of a million Earth years. The reason this horrible event took place was, ironically, because of the very same entity who had created the Guardians and everything else in the first place: Arceus. Because he had invested so much of his infinite and omnipotent energies into creating and maintaining the omniverse, Arceus needed to enter a periodic state of 'Godsleep' lasting for one Celestial year, in which he recharged his power and renewed his connections to his creation. Unfortunately, by going into hibernation Arceus essentially withdrew most of his power and influence on the omniverse, basically causing most of the things that he controlled by sheer force of will to either run on autopilot…or to start breaking down on their own.

The end result was that Arceus' year-long sleep resulted in an increase in the amount of chaos in the universe, making natural and accidental disasters e _that_ much more likely to occur, and for people to be _that_ much more likely to decide to do something bad to somebody else. In other words, his Godsleep caused evil to grow stronger during his brief absence, forcing the Guardians to have to step up their efforts significantly on every front to keep the entire omniverse from collapsing around them.

That was why they called it 'Hell Year.' There was no title more fitting than that.

In any event, due to Hell Year Latias had just spent the last two Celestial months (which lasted for approximately ten or twelve Earth years each) on the job, performing webmaster business. Was it any surprise she felt so tired?

Latias grimaced and rubbed her eyes as her headache started to clear. "Damn…this isn't the worst Hell Year I've ever been in, but it's still pretty bad."

"It's certainly worse than the last one," Bea said.

Latias smiled at her daughter indulgently. "Bea, that one was the _only_ other Hell Year you've been through, and you were still barely more than a baby then."

"I can still remember it pretty well," Bea said defensively. "It felt like it took forever to end, after all. Just like this one."

Latias sighed and nodded in agreement. "Yeah…we still have half a year to go before this one's through."

"Joy," Bea said sarcastically. There was a pause. She fidgeted. "Um…"

Latias sighed and closed her eyes. Even without tuning into the 'smart air' which made up the environs of the Celestial Heavens and linked everyone's brains together in a sort of psychic Internet, she already knew what question her daughter was about to ask. "No, I didn't find him. I thought I came close a few times, but…his signal always faded, or changed, or slipped away from me. He's still out there, but I don't know where."

"Oh," Bea said quietly. She didn't sound very surprised. The lights dimmed and the atmosphere in the room became moodier (literally) and somewhat depressing as her feelings of loneliness and despair affected the overall reality of the chamber they were in. In the Celestial Heavens, your feelings changed the world around you, so the place you were in was always a reflection of your heart. And right now, Bea's heart was full of sadness. It was perfectly understandable, as Latias' heart felt the same way at the moment. After all, if your husband and your daughter's father had been missing for a few thousand (Earth) years, wouldn't you be depressed too?

…

Rayquaza, like Latias and Latios and a number of their other friends, both old and new, was a fairly high-ranking member of the Guardians and fulfilled an additional function in the spiritual foundations of the Omniverse aside from just being a champion of order and virtue and all that. He had been named the 'Dragon God-King' and was in charge of a special division of the Guardians called the Draconic Legion, largely composed of dragons or those who had the hearts of them. Much as the Guardians of Light and Hope were seen as beacons and symbols of…well, light and hope, so too was the Dragon God-King seen as an exemplar of honor and nobility, worshipped under many different names and titles by both dragons and other beings throughout the Omniverse.

An unfortunate side effect of being the Dragon God-King required Rayquaza to occasionally be incarnated into a mortal (well, semi-mortal) form in the physical plane, taking him away from Latias for a time until she was able to get a break from her job to join him, or until he eventually died or ascended and came back home. The frequent separations had been awkward at first, but the long hours of both their jobs often kept them apart from each other for long periods of time anyway, so they had eventually gotten used to it and decided to enjoy the moments they had together more instead of lamenting the fact that there were fewer of them. They had both been leaders and powerful figures several times throughout their many past lifetimes, and knew the price of duty and responsibility. They were fine with it.

However, after a few billion (Earth) years, they decided that what they had, while good, wasn't enough. They wanted to start a family. And there, sad to say, was where they hit a bit of a snag in their relationship…they quickly discovered, much to Latias' horror, that as a side effect of becoming the Guardian of Light her womb was rather…well…barren. Basically, the problem was that Latias' body had so much power concentrated in it that it couldn't help killing most of the sperm which entered it before it could fertilize any of her eggs…and due to the fact that, according to Mew, her uterus was shaped like a T, it was rather hard for any of Rayquaza's sperm to reach her ovaries in the first place. And as for the ovaries, well…let's not go into detail and just say there wasn't much there to work with in any event. Put together, all of it meant that it wasn't absolutely _impossible_ for Latias to get pregnant, just…very, very, very, very, _very_ unlikely, no matter how hard they tried (and they tried a _lot_, let me tell you).

This infertility persisted even when she changed her own body shape or attempted to become pregnant while in a semi-mortal form, Rayquaza's 'seeds' just wouldn't take. They had even tried cloning or having Mew, the most fertile mother of all, be a surrogate parent, but for complicated reasons involving power levels and genetics and all sorts of other things, those hadn't panned out either. Understandably, even though both dragons rationally knew this wasn't anybody's fault, it still served to drive a bit of a wedge in their marriage.

Latias appealed to Arceus for help, but, being typically mysterious and cryptic, he hinted that 'now was not the best time to have children' and that maybe they should try again later. Naturally, this was not what she wanted to hear, and she felt rather bitter towards him for a while because of this. Not enough to consider rebelling or leaving the Guardians (though that sort of thing happened from time to time, sad to say), but her feelings regarding her superior and Deity grew rather cool for a while.

It turned out, however, that he had been right all along, as usual. It _wasn't_ the best time to have children. Not too long after she appealed to him, the entire omniverse found itself in the grip of a cataclysm so vast that it took literally eons to resolve and almost destroyed everything that all of them had worked for in the process. It had been a very stressful and trying time for everyone, but eventually, they had managed to win through and save the day and had a moment to catch their breaths until the next crisis (thankfully, nowhere near as big as the last one) struck. And then, while they were all trying to relax and return to business as usual, Latias had discovered she was pregnant.

Faster than the speed of light, she found herself confined to the Celestial Heavens with all her male friends, relatives, and coworkers doting on her and keeping a close eye on her and making sure she didn't work too hard or leave her home (also known as the Tower of Light), despite her repeated protests that she was fine, that she could still do her job, that there was no reason to let a little thing like pregnancy keep her from going out in the field and kicking evil derrieres, etc, but naturally nobody paid attention to her, so she could do nothing but cross her arms and sulk as everyone pampered her and cooed and in general acted like idiots, as people of most races, even spirits, tended to do when there was a baby on the way. After an absurdly long pregnancy period of an entire Celestial year (which seemed to go on endlessly to the point where she felt like she was getting cabin fever), she finally laid her and Rayquaza's egg, which, infuriatingly, took another eleven Celestial months to hatch…and the instant it did, and the moment her newborn licked off the embryonic goo from its egg and stared at her with its big beautiful golden eyes, all her frustration, doubts, and worries washed away, and she knew it had all been worth it. She and Rayquaza immediately fell in love with the white-and-gold-feathered baby Latias and named her Bea, for reasons which made perfect sense at the time but later on puzzled the both of them.

Raising Bea had been a joy, as well as a trial. As the child of two of the most powerful Guardians in Arceus' employ, it was only natural that their daughter inherited a considerable amount of their strength and abilities as well…and it didn't help that she seemed to have inherited their longevity too, and so took (and was still taking) a very, very, _very_ long time to mature. This made the first few millennium or two of raising her (millennia in our time, not theirs) rather hectic, as you would probably expect.

Regardless, she was still developing into a fine young (so to speak, considering she was older than most civilizations) lady dragon, who had lots of friends around the Celestial Heavens and seemed to have (eventually) adjusted to living in a household where either one or both of her parents often had to be away for long periods of time due to the demands of her jobs. Bea didn't resent her parents at all for their frequent absences, and understood that their work was important to the lives of billions if not trillions of people out in the omniverse…although Latias was beginning to think that her daughter was starting to harbor some dislike towards the mortal realm itself, for always putting such demands on her parents' time.

And now she had one more reason to be angry at the rest of the omniverse…her father had been missing for several hundred (Earth) years now, and there didn't seem to be a trace of him anywhere to be found.

It was not unusual for Rayquaza to be absent for several years; most of the time when he was needed physically in the mortal realm, he wound up in a form with a rather _long_ lifespan; though depending on the form he could go to the Heavens and back to visit without needing to die first. It varied from form to form. However, nearly all of the times he was forced to incarnate, his wife and daughter were still able to either contact him through secure channels or at least keep an eye on him through the cosmic superstrings which bound everything together. Sometimes Latias was able to incarnate alongside him or at least visit him now and then during his term in the mortal realm. (Bea, on the other hand, could not. She had yet to earn her dimension-traveling license or pass the tests that would give her formal membership among the Guardians, so had yet to leave her home universe. Part of her wanted to see what was out there, while another part wondered if it was worth going, considering that pretty much everything out there was worse or at least not as good as it was in the Celestial Heavens. The reasons for why such a great discrepancy existed were a constant source of argument between her and her mother.)

This time, however, was different. After a few Celestial years out on his latest incarnation, in which he had been in contact with his loved ones whenever possible, all signs and contact with him were completely lost a little less than one Earth millennium ago. No psychic probes could find his mind or the unique energy signature given off by his soul. No webmaster could find the string that represented him. She couldn't even feel him through the special bond that had liked their souls together for eons. It seemed as if the omniverse had just…swallowed him up or something. And, despite centuries of looking, they still couldn't find him anywhere.

They _had_ found other Rayquazas, so to speak, but they were all lesser ones, reflections of the original scattered throughout the omniverse, all of them fine in their own way but lacking the same spark as the true Rayquaza. None of them was the real one; none of them was _him,_ the one whom Latias and Bea both loved so much. Latias had come close to detecting something that _felt_ her missing husband a few times, but for all she knew it might just have been wishful thinking, because if it was the Rayquaza she knew, why was he hiding? Why didn't he talk to her? What was going on?

She had appealed to Arceus after all other attempts to locate Rayquaza had failed; hoping that, since Arceus knew everything, he would know what had happened to him. He did indeed know…but, unsurprisingly, he refused to tell her, saying that 'she would know where he was when the time was right' and that he was fine and there was nothing to worry about, yet. Quite understandably, Latias wasn't even remotely happy with that answer, and for the first time in all her eons of service to the deity actually came close to hating Arceus and understood, or thought she understood, why people sometimes became disenchanted with him and rebelled. Yes, it was one thing to believe that people are better off figuring things out for themselves and making their own choices (within certain guidelines), but…well, she supposed it always felt different when you're told to your face that you have to do the same thing. Arceus was always doing things like that…

And he _still_ hadn't told her why he picked her out, of everyone else, to witness his birth and the creation of the universe. Typical.

In any event, Rayquaza's disappearance made this one of the worst Hell Years Latias had ever been through. In the past they had occasionally been separated during Hell Years, but could still remain in contact, or know through their special bond that their partner was safe. But now…she couldn't even feel him through their bond. She sometimes thought she felt _something _on the other end, but…not enough to know where he was, what he was doing, or if he even existed anymore. Theoretically it was impossible for anything to be completely erased from the fabric of the omniverse, but…

What explanation could there possibly be for his vanishing completely? Her heart grew heavy with sorrow that matched her daughter's, and the room became darker, harder, almost pulsing with negativity as it changed to match their emotional state. Concerned friends, sensing their depression through the psychic 'Internet' that connected them all, messaged them to ask if they were all right, but mother and daughter were not in the mood for condolences and shut them all out. For the moment, they just wanted to be alone together in their sadness, in missing the dragon they loved.

"I want Dad back so much…" Bea whispered, her wings and head drooping.

"I know," Latias replied, wrapping her arms around her beloved daughter and hugging her to her chest. "So do I. So do I." She closed her eyes and folded her wings around the both of them, forming a cocoon to separate them from the rest of the world until they had regained their strength and were ready to face the omniverse once more.

But until then, all they could do was hold each other and cry.

…

_Elsewhere…_

Treasure Town was not the worst town in the omniverse. It wasn't even the worst town on the planet. It was however, still a pretty crummy town in general.

Most of the windows in all the buildings in town were broken or simply had no glass in them at all. Most of the buildings were decades, if not over a century, old, and in the process of crumbling apart. Nobody bothered to fix them up, however, because nobody really cared, not even the people who lived in them, not really. Even when a house creaked ominously and was clearly going to cave in any minute, the people living there refused to leave; and if they should survive the inevitable collapse, they continued to live in the ruins, for there was nowhere else for them to go. Beggars and homeless people didn't last long in Treasure Town; they either starved or were beaten to death by the cruel and uncontrollable gangs which roamed the streets. Vulgar and obscene graffiti covered walls, streets, rooftops, houses, and even some people. Bloodstains, both old and new, were splattered here and there, but nobody bothered to clean them up for the same reason nobody bothered to maintain the buildings or clean up the graffiti: nobody cared. Everyone who had cared was either dead, had left town, or just given up like everyone else and surrendered to the misery and gloom which hung over Treasure Town like a great gray death shroud.

Rather than chatting amiably with friends as they walked from place to place, the townsfolk kept as much distance from each other as possible as they went about, eyeing everyone and everything with distrust and furtively holding their belongings as tightly to themselves as possible. The only people who clustered together were members of the same gang, and even they didn't get too close in proximity to one another, knowing all too well that at a moment's notice one of their comrades might stick a dagger or a claw or a scythe blade in their backs for some real or imagined slight or grievance.

The marketplaces or bazaars in just about any other city in the world would have been loud and bustling and vibrantly full of life, with customers and storeowners bartering at the top of their lungs, proprietors and salesmen loudly advertising their products and how they were infinitely superior to those of their competitors, and people laughing and yelling and having a good time looking around at all the marvels to be bought. The marketplace in Treasure Town, however, was oddly subdued in comparison. Storekeepers and stall owners either flanked by very muscular hired goons or supported by their own bulk and impressive physical power kept a wary and distrustful eye on anyone who approached their wares, promising that anyone who even thought of stealing from them would face a brutal and agonizing end. The majority of the shoppers were so intimidated by this display of might that they usually agreed at once to whatever unfair or ludicrous price they were given for the things they needed. There was no point in arguing on the price anyway, there was nowhere else in town to get food and supplies without having to pay an even _more_ cruel and expensive price. Only the local toughs in the gangs strolled through the marketplace without fear, but even they avoided the shops and stalls that they did not already have a piece of through their 'protection' rackets, as unnerved by the remorseless merchants too strong to yield to them as everyone else. Just like nearly every other place in Treasure Town, even the closed-off district where the wealthier citizens had managed to hole up to avoid everyone else, the marketplace was a grim and unfriendly place…

The kind of place you would not expect a pair of beautiful women such as the gorgeous Gardevoir and the rather attractive Vaporeon currently walking through and looking around to frequent. They were both clean and well-kept, their faces and bodies not yet crushed by the weight of years of disappointments and broken dreams. Normally something like this would mark them as easy targets, a pair of foolish and naïve young girls not yet accustomed to the harsh realities of the world since they were walking through one of the most dangerous parts of one of the worst towns on the continent without a care in the world or any visible bodyguard…and yet there was something about them that made the thugs and brutes making up the local gangs think twice before attacking, robbing, and raping them; and caused the usually stony and extortive merchants to give a little and lower their prices to a more reasonable level when the girls stopped by their storefronts and stalls and booths to purchase something. There was an unmistakable air around them that made everyone in the marketplace hesitate before they could attack or rip the girls off, something that set them all even more on edge than usual. It was not their beauty, and it was not their apparent innocence, but something else, something much more significant…they both had power.

The blue Vaporeon, her lithe form fluid and shiny despite the gloomy clouds which always seemed to fill the town's skies, at first seemed to be looking around casually to see what goodies the storefronts and vendors around her offered…but someone who was more observant would realize she was coolly and professionally taking note of her surroundings; constantly aware of the movements of the Pokemon around her, the potential threats they presented, the concealed weapons they might be carrying (assuming they had any, seeing as how most of the Pokemon who lived in Treasure Town were capable of killing each other with their bare claws and tails and horns if they needed to). Despite her youth she was clearly very experienced in exploring and surviving dangerous places, and her heavily toned body attested to the fact that she could probably deal with just about anything that was thrown at her. Her lack of visible scars was probably a ruse to make herself look less dangerous; most people forgot that Vaporeon had almost total mastery over the molecules making up their bodies so that they could turn into liquid and back, making healing wounds or covering up gashes or marks which formed in their skins a relatively simple prospect.

The statuesque Gardevoir with the sensuous porcelain-white skin, lustrous green hair, more-than generous figure, and lovely bright red eyes walking next to the Vaporeon, on the other hand, did not seem to be feigning innocence like her friend was…however, considering the widely renowned psychic and empathic abilities of her species, she could still probably tell what every single person in the marketplace was thinking and whether or not they might present a potential danger to her. And yet, despite the hostile and lecherous thoughts a great many people and crooks were indeed harboring about her, the child-like expression of wonder and amazement gracing her beautiful features did not change in the slightest. The way she confidently held herself as she literally glided through the marketplace implied that she didn't consider anybody around her a true threat, suggesting that, rather than being naïve or foolhardy, she was simply more than powerful enough to take on any or all of them if need be. And while this was indeed the truth, the townspeople couldn't possibly know _why_ this Gardevoir was so powerful, which was unsurprising…after all, how many Gardevoir (or Pokemon of any species, for that matter) did you run into who had actually been a disembodied spirit for a thousand years while their body was preserved in a magical slumber, allowing them to gain a millennium's worth of power and experience without even needing to fight anyone or travel anywhere to get it?

Despite her 'advanced' age, however, the Gardevoir was still as curious about the world around her as a newborn babe, which was also not that big a surprise, considering how little of her past she could remember. As the price for breaking the curse which had kept her body in a thousand years of suspended animation, she had no memories of her past life, and most of the millennium she had spent as a spirit which she _could_ recall was somewhat hazy due to her incorporeal state and aimless wandering during that time. Thus, experiencing the world as a living being was a new sensation for her, one she had still not lost the novelty of despite having been rejoined with her body for almost a whole year now. This was one of the traits which made her endearing to her friends, but was also an endless source of frustration and worry to them, since she often rushed into potentially dangerous situations without really considering what might happen in the sake of 'experiencing' it. Despite her year of being alive, she had still not really adjusted to the concept of mortality and what its consequences might mean for her. Nobody was really looking forward to the emotional breakdown she would probably experience once she realized just how fragile her new life really was.

This was why her friend the Vaporeon felt another tinge of exasperation when Gardevoir, seeing another interesting bauble on display in a nearby stall, made a sound of awe and immediately rushed over to it, leaving her friend behind. "Ugh, Gardevoir! Wait up!" the Vaporeon yelled, quickly running after her friend on all four legs. "How many times have I told you we have to stick together?!"

Gardevoir, who had been chatting animatedly with the stall's proprietor, glanced down at her friend guiltily as the Vaporeon caught up with her. "Sorry, Misty. You know how excited I get seeing new things…"

"You've been around for over a thousand years, what is there to see that's still new?" the Vaporeon, Misty, muttered under her breath without any real malice. She examined the object displayed among the other rubbish scattered all over the stall's counter which had attracted her older (though she didn't act like it) friend; a long cylindrical case made of some unfamiliar material, primarily black in color with strange gold swirls that, for a moment, she could have sworn _moved_ as she stared at them. She blinked and looked up at Gardevoir. "So, what is it about this thing that's so interesting?"

The psychic Pokemon smiled and gestured to the stall's owner. "Well, this nice…person here was just about to tell me what it is, weren't you?"

The Pokemon in question bowed graciously. "I was indeed, beautiful lady."

Misty looked at the merchant dubiously. In her experience, people who wore big amorphous hooded cloaks which completely covered their bodies and made it impossible for anyone to tell what species they belonged to were pretty far from nice or trustworthy. There was something about this mysterious figure which made her uneasy, but he seemed to pose less of a threat at the moment than the bunch of hoodlums walking past them who were hungrily eyeing her and Gardevoir's rear ends. She shot the punks a venomous glare, and they nearly fell over themselves trying to get as far away from her as possible. "So," she said, turning back to the cloaked merchant. "What's this thing's story?" She still didn't trust the guy, but since Gardevoir seemed to have no trouble with him (she would have sensed any danger he presented by reading his mind or emotions and so known to stay away from him), Misty supposed she could tolerate him…for now.

Then again, there was always the possibility that the merchant was a Dark-type and so Gardevoir _couldn't_ have scanned him…

Before she could worry herself further, the cloaked merchant began to explain the story of the item which had caught Gardevoir's eye. "Have you heard the tale about why Treasure Town is named 'Treasure Town,' pretty ones?"

"Ooh, no, tell us," Gardevoir said eagerly.

"And don't call us 'pretty ones,'" Misty growled.

"My sincerest apologies," the merchant apologized, not sounding very sincere. "It is said that there is a great treasure which was buried beneath this very settlement ages and ages ago. Fortune seekers and treasure hunters have sought this treasure for millennia, but none have found it. A village was eventually built here as a home for those who had given up everything to find the treasure here and failed, and that village eventually grew into the humble burg we now call 'Treasure Town.' To this day, many people still come here to try and find the buried treasure…but none have succeeded. Not yet, anyway."

"Oh my," said Gardevoir, enamored by the story.

Misty raised an eyebrow. "Wait, don't tell me. That case over there just happens to hold the map which leads to the treasure, and for a _reasonable_ price you'll give it to us, right?"

The merchant nodded. "Indeed, O Wise One. Not only does it lead to the treasure, it also reveals the locations of the magical keys required to break the mystic seal which was placed over it long, long ago."

"Don't call me 'Wise One,'" Misty grumbled.

The merchant shrugged. "It sounds less offensive than 'pretty one,'" he pointed out.

"True," Misty agreed grudgingly.

"Let's buy it!" Gardevoir said eagerly.

Misty glared at her friend. "Gardevoir, this guy's clearly ripping us off. That thing doesn't lead to any treasure, it's just a hoax he cooked up to con money out of idiot tourists like us. He probably has dozens more under the counter."

"He doesn't," Gardevoir said firmly, surprising Misty. "I can't read his mind, but I can sense he's telling the truth about what's in that case. You know I'm good at telling that sort of thing. I'm also picking up some kind of weird energy from the case…which makes me all the more convinced there's something valuable and worthwhile in there."

"Huh," Misty said thoughtfully. She looked at the case in question in a whole new light. "Well, that changes…absolutely nothing." She frowned at her friend. "We're here in Treasure Town to purchase supplies to bolster Pokemon Square so we'll be ready if—and when—the barbarians manage to work up the guts and the numbers to besiege us. We don't have the time or the money to spend on a crazy treasure hunt, we've already wasted enough of both indulging your urge to shop."

"Oh…good point," Gardevoir admitted, looking somewhat chastened as she glanced down at the several dozen shopping bags dangling from her arms and strapped to Misty's back filled with the purchases she had already made that day…and that was only a third of what she had actually bought so far, she had teleported the rest back to the room where they and the rest of the supply-run team were staying for safekeeping.

"It only costs twenty Poke', and the treasure might be able to help you defend your city…" the merchant said slyly.

"Ooh!" cried Gardevoir. Misty groaned and rolled her eyes, knowing when she was beaten. "We'll take it."

"Sold!" said the merchant, reaching out with one long-sleeved arm (careful not to reveal his hand or claw, and thus give away what species he was) to accept Gardevoir's money.

"Hold it!" Misty interrupted. "Before this sale is final, there's one thing I want to know…if this map is the real deal, why are you letting it go for so little? Additionally, how come none of the other treasure hunters you've mentioned, or even the average townspeople or crooks, have bought that thing off of you and used it to get the treasure? In fact…" She narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "If it's a genuine treasure map, why are you even selling it at all? Why not use it for yourself?"

"Alas!" the merchant cried, throwing his hands (not that they could see them) into the air dramatically. "If only I could. You see, the treasure was buried and sealed away by an ancient group of sorcerers long ago, and they scattered the keys to that seal across the world and enchanted both the map and the case it was contained in so that only one who was pure of heart could open it and use it to find and unlock the treasure. Since that day, many have tried to open the case and claim the map inside, but all have failed, even myself." He shrugged. "So, since _I_ can't use it, why not make a profit off it and sell it to someone who might be able to? And if you can't, I'm sure a woman such as yourself could find someone who could."

"Probably," Gardevoir agreed, handing the merchant the twenty Poke' she owed him and grabbing the map case before Misty could protest further.

"Wait! Ugh," Misty groaned, realizing she was too late.

Gardevoir chuckled at her friend, turned the case over, and reached for the latch. "Heheh, suck-" the merchant started to giggle as he slipped the cash into his voluminous robes, only to gape in astonishment (well, presumably, since they couldn't see his mouth) as the latch glowed brilliantly at Gardevoir's touch and the golden designs on the case flickered and swirled about. "-er?"

The latch undid itself and the case popped open of its own volition, a soft warm golden light shining from its interior for a few moments before fading away and revealing a rolled-up piece of parchment (or something that looked like parchment) tied with a bright red ribbon embossed with a golden emblem that looked sort of like a dragon, set comfortably in a plush blue velvet interior. Gardevoir smiled triumphantly and removed the parchment from its setting. "Well, what do you know? I did it!"

Misty rolled her eyes as Gardevoir gently tugged off the ribbon, unfurled the map, and started examining it. "Why am I not surprised?"

"How…how did you…" the merchant gawked (presumably). He swallowed and tentatively reached out towards them. "Could…could I see that for a minute?"

"Okay," Gardevoir said, handing the map back to the merchant, once more before Misty could argue.

"Would you _stop_ being so impulsive for just one minute and talk to your friends before doing something for a change?!" Misty ranted.

"Don't worry, he'll give it back in a moment," Gardevoir assured her.

She was right. "It's blank!" the horrified merchant cried.

"Well, of course it is," Gardevoir said, taking the map back. "To _you_, anyway. You said yourself the case could only be opened and the map used by someone pure of heart, and since you weren't pure enough to open the case, that also means you wouldn't have been able to see what was on the map even after it was taken out. Since I opened the case, I suppose that means I'm the only person here purehearted enough to see everything that the map conceals."

"Oh," the merchant said, sounding rather sullen.

Misty frowned and reared up on her hind legs to try and get a better look at the map her friend was holding. "I…I don't see any…wait…I think I see…_something…_" Her eyes widened, then narrowed again as she squinted harder at the map. "That looks like…the continent we're on, doesn't it? But it's all blurry…I can't see anymore, unless I try really hard. I guess I'm not pure enough." She shrugged. "Not like that's really a surprise."

"You're purer than this nice merchant over here," Gardevoir said soothingly. "Er, no offense intended," she added quickly to the shopkeeper.

"None taken…I think…" The merchant grunted and folded his arms. "Well, I suppose that's that, then," he grumbled, no doubt disappointed that he might have just sold away the prize of a lifetime. "You girls have fun finding that treasure now, you hear? And…I don't suppose you could bring it around once you get it and show an old friend what it looks like, could you?"

"We'll think about it," Misty said coolly before Gardevoir could automatically agree. "Come on, Gardevoir, we have more shopping to do."

"Okay," Gardevoir said, perking up at the thought of buying more things. She rolled the map up again, put it back it in its case, and walked away with her friend.

Once they were safely out of range, the merchant reached under his counter and pulled out a very high-tech communicator which seemed completely out of place in an impoverished area like Treasure Town. "Death's Merchant to High Command. Death's Merchant to High Command. Come in, High Command."

The communicator crackled with static for a moment, and then an ominous voice spoke up from the other end. "This is High Command. What is your report, Death's Merchant?"

"The package has been opened, I repeat, the package has been opened. I was unable to see anything on the map inside, but the person who opened it could, and her friend seemed to be able to see something as well, though not with the same amount of clarity as the one who opened it did," the 'merchant' informed his superior.

There was a sharp intake of breath from the other end of the line. "Someone has been able to unseal and read the map? At last, after all these years…keep an eye on them, Death's Merchant. Track them discretely; find out what they're doing in Treasure Town and what they plan to do next. See if they can lead us to what we're looking for. And then, when the moment is right…"

The merchant who was clearly more than just a merchant snickered evilly. "I understand perfectly, High Command." He paused, and frowned under his hood. "However…the person who unsealed the map seems rather…powerful, as is her companion, though to a lesser extent. It might be difficult to bring them in safely."

"You will receive backup shortly. Do not engage them until everything is ready. Send a detailed report on what you have discovered about our targets when you get the chance," High Command ordered. "And remember, the map-reader must not, under _any_ circumstances, be harmed or killed. The map will be of no use in fulfilling our goals if the only person available to us who is capable of translating it is dead or too injured to be of any help. Any agent who harms or kills her will be put to death at once; including you, Death's Merchant. Her friend, on the other hand…"

The cloaked agent chuckled and nodded. "I understand perfectly, High Command. You'll have the report by 2100 hours. Death's Merchant out." He switched off the communicator and hid it in his robes. He cackled malevolently and rubbed his hands together with glee, revealing a ring with a stylized N on it wrapped around one claw in the process. "This is going to be fun…" he whispered to himself in joyful anticipation.

…

A ripple in space and time broke through mother and daughter's self-imposed isolation from the rest of the omniverse, a discordant vibration in the superstrings jangling in their psyches and snapping them out of their depression with a gasp of shock. "Mom? Did you feel that?" asked a concerned Bea, shaking her head in a daze. "What was it?"

Latias frowned as she recovered from the ominous resonation, a worried expression on her face. "Nothing good…"

She was right. Less than a second later, she found herself telepathically messaged by the frantic Commander-in-Chief of the Guardians (sort of her boss, even though she technically outranked him and needed report to nobody else but Arceus if she didn't want to), a many-eyed and many-limbed vaguely centipede-like entity whose true name was impossible to pronounce in writing (and pretty hard to say telepathically, too) so everyone just called him 'Wormy.' "Great Guardian!" Wormy cried in alarm. "We need you down at central HQ immediately, all our precogs and analysts and sensors are going crazy, saying we have the beginnings of a serious disaster on our hands!"

Latias sighed and reluctantly shook her daughter off of her. "When do we not?"

"How many of them have the potential to become Class-Z Cataclysms?" Wormy retorted, the capital C in Cataclysm clear to both mother and daughter.

Bea gasped and Latias' eyes widened in horror. "C-Class-Z?!" Latias protested, growing more and more alarmed. "But we haven't had one of those since…since..." Since the first and only one that they had ever gone through. Everyone had sighed in relief when it was over and hoped that there would never be anything as bad as it ever again.

"Didn't the last Class-Z almost destroy the entire omniverse?!" asked a very worried Bea, who hadn't even been alive during the aforementioned crisis.

Wormy nodded gravely in their mind's eye. "It's funny you should mention the last one…just take a look at where all of our readings say the next one might originate!"

A set of dimensional coordinates accompanied by corresponding images uploaded themselves into Latias and Bea's minds. They both took a few seconds to process the information and realize all the implications it entailed. "Oh no…" Latias whispered.

"Mom," Bea said quietly. "Isn't that where you fought-"

"Yes," Latias said.

"And where you _sealed_-"

"_Yes_."

Bea grimaced. "And you're going to have to go there and try and defuse the situation before its too late, aren't you?"

"Yes," Latias groaned, putting her face in her hands.

Bea sighed miserably. "I hate Hell Year."

"Doesn't everyone?" Wormy asked rhetorically.

…

And so I do some building-up, and a lot of foreshadowing, as is usually the norm in the opening chapters of a story, right? Tune in next time for more world-building and probably not a lot of clarification about just what is going on here. See you then!


	3. Introducing Team Aurabolt!

I've spent two chapters gradually setting the scene and putting events in motion. Now it's time to meet the main characters and see what the world this story takes place in looks like…that should be fun, don't you think?

And it only just now occurs to me that the Redwall series by Brian Jacques might have had some effect on this story, too. Weird. Can't believe I didn't notice before.

Disclaimer: I don't own any character or concept that doesn't belong to me. Everything that didn't come from Nintendo or the Pokemon companies is all mine.

…

Matthias Shorttail was about to die. It wasn't a pleasant thought, but it seemed rather inevitable at this point.

He had spent the last few days running almost unceasingly from his pursuers, over hills and across rivers and through the forests and plains, but there was only so much energy in his body, and it was about to run out. And when it did…

They would get him. They were almost upon him, anyway. It was only a matter of minutes before they caught up to him, and when they did, his life would be over.

Shadows passed over him, several small and lithe forms silhouetted by the light filtering through the leafy canopy above, darting back and forth through the branches of the surrounding trees. His already rapidly-beating heart nearly leaped out of his chest in fright, and he knew his life was almost at an end. _Oh no…_ he thought despairingly.

Without warning, several of the shapes clambering in the branches leaped out from among the leaves, revealing themselves to be purple-furred Aipom marked with the brand of the Monkey King. Letting out a horrific shriek, the five-limbed monkeys started hurling lethally sharp and dangerously accurate golden Swift stars from their tails at their prey, raining down on the terrified Matthias like a meteor shower.

Using the agility and small size his race was known for to his advantage, Matthias did his best to dodge the projectiles…but five days of running endlessly without rest had severely taken its toll on his frail form, and his movements were sluggish and clumsy, nearly causing him to trip over his own paws in his panic. It was only by sheer luck and the wide spread of the falling Swift stars that he managed to avoid death, though quite a few of the projectiles nicked his flesh and drew blood, and one came far too close to cutting off one of his legs for his liking, causing him to stumble and nearly fall on his face as it grazed him. He managed to pull himself back onto his feet as the Aipom landed in the tree branches ahead of him and, with a burst of fear and adrenaline-induced speed, threw himself into some nearby bushes before they could ready their next volley.

He zigzagged wildly through bushes and around trees, no clear course in mind, his mind and heart racing as the chattering of the monkey Pokemon chasing him grew louder and louder…but even that demonic cackle was starting to be drowned out by the noise of hooves clattering against rocks and dirt and tree roots as the master of this cruel hunt came closer and closer to catching his prey.

More Aipom leaped overhead and flung Swift stars down at him. Heart beating several miles a minute to keep more blood flowing to his limbs, he rolled and dodged and did his best to evade them. Mankey swung down on vines and hurled spiky metal balls at him, and it was all he could do to keep from stepping on any of the sharp orbs and severely wounding his paws, which would most certainly ended this chase for good. Chimchar burst out of the ground before him, having used Dig to tunnel ahead of him, and spat fireballs at Matthias. He nearly gave up then out of exhaustion and sheer disbelief, but managed to _just_ barely weave and bob around the very powerful but thankfully slow-moving projectiles (not without singeing a few hairs, sad to say) and dashed right between the Chimchar blocking his path, their dexterous paws snatching at him as he went but failing to nab him due to the length of the eponymous short tail which had given his family its name.

The sound of hoofbeats grew louder, and Matthias knew his borrowed time was just about up. And if that weren't bad enough, a trio of heavily muscled Primeape had just dropped out from the trees in front of him and blocked his path, menacing looks on their faces. Knowing there would be absolutely no chance left if they managed to get their oversized mitts on him, Matthias turned sharply to the left, rushing through some dense brambles which he knew from the loud curses the angry apes shrieked after him would slow his pursuers down while posing little of an obstacle to a small rodent like himself…

Only to abruptly burst out of the thick foliage and find himself at the edge of a steep incline. He backpedaled frantically, trying to stop himself, but he had built up too much momentum already and was unable to stop himself from going over the edge. He tumbled down the slope, rebounding off dozens of hard, sharp, and very painful rocks and shrubs as he fell, breaking (from the sound and feel of it) several ribs and two of his limbs by the time he finally landed at the bottom of the slope, rolled across the crunchy leaf-covered ground, and slammed head-first into a tree. He struggled up onto his one working forepaw even as the world wobbled around him and dark spots swirled in his vision…

Only for a pair of Ambipom, larger cousins of Aipom with two tails instead of just one which effectively gave them six working limbs, to slide down the steep incline on their feet (rather than coming down the hard way, like he did) and hurl a weighted net over him before he could budge. The weight of the net pressed down hard on his back, driving him to the ground and putting _way_ too much pressure on his broken rear right leg, causing him to shriek in pain and almost pass out, causing the sadistic monkeys to giggle with glee. Struggling to stay conscious, he desperately tried to use his oversized front teeth to chew through the cords of the net, but the fibers were made of woven steel mesh, much too strong for him to bite through. In fact, he chipped his teeth just trying!

Whimpering in despair, he collapsed to the ground, his entire body throbbing with pain. The rest of the monkeys soon arrived to congratulate their fellows on Matthias' capture and laugh at their wounded and pathetic captive as the sound of hoof beats grew stronger and, with a loud whinny, a large white Rapidash with a brilliant red flaming mane and tail rode into view, the reins running back from the spiked bit clamped between its jaws to the hands of the orange-furred Monferno riding bareback on the horse's back. A gold collar was wrapped around the monkey's neck, complementing the other gold bands around his upper arms and the blue and red markings on his face. A beaten-up-looking bronze helmet with a red Spearow feather for a plume was placed on his head. A bandolier holding a fireproof satchel was wrapped around the flaming monkey's torso, the emblem of the Monkey King, a stylized monkey's paw resembling a flame, emblazoned on the satchel and branded on the ape's forehead, much like the other monkeys currently bowing in acknowledgement to him. The Monferno grinned nastily at the trapped Matthias, bearing his fangs in an expression of cruel amusement. "Well, well, it looks like we've caught a little Rattata who thought it could steal some cheese…it seems to have learned too late, though, that nobody steals anything from the Monkey King and lives to get away with it."

"I didn't steal _anything_ from your flea-bitten mangy King!" Matthias snapped, his ire rising at the Monferno's accusation. "And neither did my family!"

"You and your _family_," the Monferno sneered in disgust. "Were living on the King's territory and eating that which was his without paying for it or giving tribute of any kind to your rightful master in return. You didn't even acknowledge that he was your ruler, and so had to be punished for such treason."

"We didn't _know_ the land was the King's!" Matthias protested. "In fact, it _wasn't_ until you showed up and told us it was his, before then it belonged to anyone who settled in it! How were we supposed to know that had changed?!"

"Tut tut, you should have been keeping up on currently events," the Monferno scolded mercilessly, waving his finger at Matthias as if he were a teacher correcting an especially stupid comment made by a recalcitrant student. "If you had, then you would have known that the Monkey King had claimed all of the surrounding land, including the place you dwelled, as his territory in recent months, and then we wouldn't have had to burn down that pitiful little hovel you were living in, murder most of your family, and take the rest into slavery. And then you wouldn't have escaped that massacre, and we wouldn't have had to chase you across the countryside, and this whole sorry mess could have been avoided. Oh well, such a pity," he said with a dramatic sigh. As Matthias' fur bristled angrily, the Monferno reached into his satchel and removed a scroll marked (like everything else) with the seal of the Monkey King, which he opened officiously. "Ahem. You, one Matthias Shorttail, have been charged with theft of the Monkey King's food, living illegally on the Monkey King's property, failing to show proper loyalty and respect to your rightful ruler, and obstructing his servants in upholding their duty."

"All I did was run away from you! What was I supposed to do, let you catch me?!" Matthias protested.

"Well, of course," said the Monferno, looking at the Rattata as if he were an imbecile. "Then we wouldn't have had to chase you across the countryside. Of course, your punishment would have probably stayed the same no matter what, but if you had given up earlier, this whole thing wouldn't have had to be so drawn out…and you wouldn't have broken most of your body trying to escape from us." The monkey rolled up the scroll and put it back in his satchel while his minions laughed at poor Matthias and the Rattata in question moaned. "And now, to carry out your sentence. Like all traitors, there is only one way to deal with you…" He kicked on his mount's sides, and the Rapidash opened its mouth wide, flames licking around the bit, which was, of course, fireproof. "Death…by IMMOLATION!"

The Rapidash exhaled a huge burst of flame shaped like a five-pointed star of all-consuming fire which rushed towards Matthias as the other monkeys cheered and hooted in excitement. The trembling Rattata squeezed his eyes shut in terror, praying to Arceus that the Fire Blast would kill him instantly rather than causing him to suffer the slow, incredibly agonizing death of being burned alive…

When suddenly, a large blue energy ball shot out of nowhere, flying across the ground and intercepting the Fire Blast before it could hit Matthias, the two attacks colliding and exploding in an incredible flash of light which temporarily blinded the screaming monkeys and blanketed the area in thick smoke. The Monferno coughed and tried to clear the air before him. "Ugh…what-cough-what did that?! What's-" There were several cries of surprise and fear from the smoke all around him, followed by the wet smacks of flesh hitting flesh and what sounded like _metal_ ringing through the air as it sliced through skin. The cries of surprise were replaced by grunts of pain and short-lived screams of agony, all of which ended very quickly as a pair of unseen assailants moved swiftly through the smog, taking out the monkey soldiers one by one. The Monferno panicked, as did his Rapidash, who reared back and whinnied in alarm. "Aaagh! Whoever you are, stay away! You don't know who you're dealing with!" He spat a dozen or so fireballs all around him in fear, desperately hoping one of them would hit the invisible assassins. None of his Embers hit the attackers, but they did, in fact, strike some of the Monferno's poor unsuspecting troops, causing them to howl in pain. "Er, sorry…"

The smoke thinned and cleared as a sudden gust of wind blew through the clearing, making the air more breathable and allowing the Monferno to see… "WHAT?!" he screamed in astonishment, his frightened Rapidash clumsily backing up a few steps. "HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?!"

The monkey troops he had brought with him were now lying all over the place, either unconscious or dead, their blood staining some of the nearby grass and leaves. Most of the bruising and wounds on their bodies indicated they had been assailed by powerful physical blows, while other injuries—such as cuts and, shockingly, severed _limbs_—appeared consistent with a blade of some kind. And, if that weren't shocking enough, Matthias Shorttail was _gone_…the net he had been trapped in had been ripped (or cut?) to shreds, the injured Rattata nowhere to be found! But the rat had been far too wounded to get away under his own power, which meant… "WHO'S RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?!" the Monferno roared, the flame on his tail burning stronger in fury.

"Hey, you might want to try looking up for a change!" an unfamiliar voice called down to the raging monkey.

The Monferno quickly looked up and saw, to his amazement, that the Rattata he was looking for was up in the very same tree he had hit his head on…being held with great care in the arms of a young Lucario; a four-foot tall bipedal jackal with blue, black, and cream-colored fur with spikes growing from his knuckles and chest, wearing a red _blindfold_ of all things! "Ah, _now_ he sees us," the Lucario said with a smirk, startling the Monferno. How was he able to tell he was being looked at if his eyes were covered?!

"Good, I'd hate for him to have to run crying back to his King without even knowing who he had the honor of getting beaten by," said a Pikachu; a yellow mouse about one foot tall with black-tipped ears, red cheeks, and a tail shaped like a lightning bolt standing on the branch next to the blindfolded Lucario. The Pikachu, interestingly enough, was wearing a red bandana around his neck and had what appeared to be a scabbard with some kind of blade sheathed in it strapped to his back.

"Y-you saved me!" gasped the astonished Matthias, gazing up at the Lucario holding him in disbelief. "Who…who _are_ you guys?!"

The Lucario smirked and looked down at the Rattata, and Matthias got the strangest idea that the jackal could see him perfectly in spite of his blindfold. "Nobody important, just your friendly neighborhood Rescue Team."

Matthias gasped, and his eyes widened. "A Rescue Team?!"

The Monferno's eyes widened, but his face also twisted into an expression of pure hatred. "A Rescue Team?!" Now that he was looking carefully, the monkey realized that both Pokemon were wearing badges shaped like platinum-colored eggs with little wings growing from the sides on their chests. Those badges indicated that the duo were an official Rescue Team, a group dedicated to fighting evils and helping people in need throughout the continent of Kanjohenn. He snarled angrily, his tail flame burning hotter again. "Release that Rattata at once! This is none of your business, city-dwellers!"

"You were about to turn this little guy into a crispy critter…I'd say that _makes_ it our business," the Lucario retorted.

The Pikachu nodded. "And as a member of the rodent family myself, I take offense at what you were about to do to my 'cousin' here."

"That Rattata is a criminal, a fugitive from justice!" the Monferno snapped. "It was my task to capture and execute him for crimes against the Monkey King…and you two are interfering with my duty! You've assaulted and killed some of my men, and are aiding and abetting a known criminal! For that, you too will now be considered enemies of the Monkey King!" He smirked magnanimously. "However, I might be persuaded to change my mind if you would give the fugitive back to me and leave this area immediately…"

The Lucario snorted. "As if. It's _you_ who should be thinking of getting out of here posthaste, mister."

The Pikachu nodded. "Your kind aren't welcome here. If you insist on continuing to threaten the life of our friend here, we'll have no choice but to _make_ you leave by force."

The Monferno sneered. "Somehow, I doubt that…especially seeing as how I have far more men than the ones you've just defeated! ATTACK!"

The foliage at the top of the incline rustled, and suddenly a dozen or so Aipom leaped into the air, flinging Swift stars at the Lucario and Pikachu as they soared above them. While the five-limbed monkeys fired at the duo, a small army of Mankey, Chimchar, and Primeape slid down the slope, covered by the Swift attack.

The Pikachu shook his head and drew his sword, a katana of some craftsmanship. "They never take the easy way out, do they?"

The Lucario smirked. "Nope. More fun that way." He carefully put the injured Matthias down in a hollow formed by two branches splitting off from each other. "Hang tight, little guy. We'll be right back." And with that, both Pokemon leapt into action, leaving the stunned Rattata behind.

The Pikachu leaped high into the air towards the incoming Swift stars, sword drawn and at the ready. Just before the stars could strike him or fall past him towards his companion, he swiped the blade several times through the air almost faster than the eye could see, each strike hitting one of the stars and deflecting it away, making it collide with other stars and knocking those away, causing a chain reaction which sent Swift stars flying in every direction except the one they had originally been aimed towards. The Aipom screeched and tried to dodge out of the way of their own projectiles, but they were falling from the apex of their jump at that point and so had nowhere to go but down, right into the paths of their own stars. Other stars showered down on the battlefield, causing the apes who had just joined the fray to shriek and frantically try to avoid the barrage, while the Monferno's Rapidash neighed in panic and almost threw off its rider in its attempts to get away; the monkey's sharp kicks and hard tugs on the reins the only things that kept the horse under control.

Taking advantage of the monkeys' disorientation, the Lucario rushed his foes, delivering crushing punches, powerful kicks, and impressive palm thrusts which took out at least a third of the apes before they could recover enough to retaliate. An enraged Primeape stepped forward and drove a very strong Focus Punch at the Lucario's back while the jackal was occupied fending off some Mankey attacking his front, only to be surprised when the Lucario abruptly whirled around with a spinning kick which not only knocked away the rest of the Mankeys but put the Wave-Guiding Pokemon in position to counter the Primeape's attack with a punch of his own, driving the spike on the back of his hand into the eternally angry Pokemon's fist. The Primeape howled in pain and withdrew his broken hand, blow oozing from the hole in his boxing mitt-shaped left paw, but didn't have much time to lick his wounds before the Lucario delivered a powerful Sky Uppercut to the Pig Monkey's nose, sending him flying high into the air and landing somewhere in the woods about half a mile away.

The Pikachu, still up in the air, charged some of his natural electricity into his sword while he fell, causing the blade to crackle with power. He thrusted the katana into the dirt just before he could hit the ground, causing the stored energy to discharge in an incredibly powerful shockwave which rippled out from the point of impact, electrocuting every monkey nearby (and, unfortunately, _just_ missing the frightened Monferno on his fiery steed). Removing his weapon from the ground, the Pikachu sheathed his sword and started charging up electricity in his body as the next wave of enraged primates rushed towards him, clearly not learning from the mistakes of their predecessors. The Pikachu abruptly dashed forward, his body engulfed by a crackling yellow electric corona as he slammed into the Primeape leading the next wave with a Volt Tackle which sent enough voltage into its body to kill it instantly, as well as the two dozen or so Mankey it was flung back into, bowling them all over. The Pikachu smirked. "I guess this counts as a 'strike,'" the mouse quipped.

The Lucario found himself under attack by a pair of Ambipom using their patented Double Hit attack to bombard him with lightning-fast punches from each of their two tails, foolishly believing that the jackal's blindness would make it impossible for him to avoid the incredibly fast attacks. The Lucario proved them wrong, however, by ducking and weaving and twisting his body about so agilely that it seemed as if he was either able to predict their every move before they made it, or his senses were just so finely tuned that they were slower than molasses in comparison. Whatever the reason, when the Lucario saw a brief opening in the seemingly-solid wall of punches they created, he took it, thrusting both his arms out and grabbing the ends of the monkeys' tails, just behind the comically oversized fists on the ends of them. As the Ambipom gawked in disbelief, the Lucario smacked them into each other and then started twirling them around in either hand, effectively turning them into a pair of unwilling monkey-chuks. He swung out with his improvised weapons, and twirled them about, smacking and bashing and knocking away any ape which got within range of him, and considering how long the tails of the Ambipom he were holding were, that range was pretty darn far. When the poor monkeys' faces had been all but caved in and most of their bones were broken from being used as weapons, the Lucario took 'pity' on them and brought them together, tying their tails around each other and flinging them away like a giant hairy bola, which caught a half dozen large Primeapes that had been charging towards the sword-wielding Pikachu, slamming and tying them to a nearby tree. All the monkeys involved groaned, while the Ambipom passed out into blissful unconsciousness, glad their terrible ordeal was over.

Screaming hatred, a trio of Chimchar jumped into the air and spun about, generating flames which encompassed their bodies and turned them into Flame Wheels. The burning wheels of destruction rolled towards the Pikachu, embers licking off their forms and scorching the ground and the forms of their fallen comrades. The electric mouse smirked, knowing he wouldn't need to waste his sword on paltry opponents like these. Just before the first Flame Wheel could hit him, he spun around, bringing his lightning bolt-shaped tail, now glowing with the power of Iron Tail, up to bear. With his superstrong tail, he easily batted away the Wheel, flinging it back into its fellows and causing it to collide with one Chimchar and knock both of them out while bumping the remaining Chimchar totally off course and sending him flying towards the Lucario. The jackal warrior was busy dealing with another bunch of Chimchar who were trying to attack him from below using Dig, only to find out that he was able to detect them just as easily underground as he could on the surface, allowing him to dodge their feeble attacks and retaliate with powerful blows which took them out of the fight. His back was turned to the Flame Wheel shooting towards him…but as he had proven before, he was far from being unaware of his surroundings.

Just like before, the Lucario whirled around before the Wheel could hit him and spiked it with his knee, sending it up in the air. As it started falling back down, he butted it back into the air with his head, then jumped up after it and sent it flying away with a Hi Jump Kick. His partner the Pikachu jumped up and intercepted the poor spinning Chimchar, batting it away with another swing of his mighty Iron Tail and sending it flying towards the remainder of the enemy forces on the ground below. The monkeys hooted and shrieked in alarm and quickly tried to get out of the way, but the Pikachu and the Lucario fired a crackling Thunderbolt and Aura Sphere at the Flame Wheel, the three attacks colliding just before the over-abused Chimchar could hit the ground and triggering a blinding explosion which shook the forest, knocked over a number of nearby trees, and sent the monkeys who had not been immediately incinerated by the blast flying with a resounding cry of "WE'RE BLASTING OFF AGAAAAAAAAAIIIIIN!" as they vanished into the distance.

Matthias' jaw dropped in awe. The Rapidash shat itself. The Monferno did too, much to both their displeasures. The Lucario and Pikachu landed gracefully and turned at the same time to face the horrified fire monkey, casual expressions on their faces. "So, got any more goons for us to beat up?" the jackal asked.

"Or is that all you've got?" the Pikachu calmly inquired, drawing his sword.

With much difficulty, the Monferno managed to shut his gaping jaw and stammer out some form of legible speech. "Wh…what…how?! How is this…POSSIBLE?! YOU TOOK OUT MY ENTIRE REGIMENT! _BLINDFOLDED!_"

"Well, actually, I was the only one blindfolded," the Lucario corrected him. "But yeah, it was a pretty impressive accomplishment, wasn't it?"

The Pikachu nodded in agreement. "Yes, and I didn't even need to use my sword very much. My skills in both armed and unarmed combat have improved significantly since our last real fight, just like your Aura-sight."

The Lucario nodded. "Yeah, it looks like all our training's really paid off, huh?" He glanced at the Monferno. "So, we've beaten up all your troops and pretty much proven we can take anything you can throw at us. Ready to call it quits and go home?"

The Monferno began turning red…der. The flame on his tail turned into a blazing bonfire, flames burst into life on his shoulders, and his Spearow feather-plume caught on fire as well. Suffice it to say he was really pissed. "You two…have stood in my way long enough! If my men couldn't stop you, then I'll just have to kill you MYSELF and reclaim the honor you have stolen from me!" He kicked the sides of his Rapidash, and the fire horse backed up a few steps, flames licking from its jaws, before expelling an unimaginably hot and incredibly powerful Overheat at the duo.

The two partners didn't even flinch. With a quick motion, the Pikachu stepped in front of his companion and slashed once vertically with his katana…slicing the Overheat flame blast in two and causing its halves to flow around and past them, reducing several of the nearby trees behind them to ashes. The Monferno gawked once more. "WHAT?!"

A grin forming on his long face, the Lucario leaped over his smaller friend and raced down the clear aisle between the two fire streams formed by the Pikachu's blade, running straight towards the Rapidash and its rider. Eyes widening in fright, the Monferno panicked and yanked back on his steed's reins, causing the Rapidash to whinny and rear up on its hind legs, its front hooves flailing as it tried to smash in the skull of the blindfolded warrior racing towards it…

But the Lucario evaded the blows, as he had dodged all the others before it, and slammed his hand into the Rapidash's chest with a powerful Force Palm attack which exploded against the horse's body in a flash of blue light and shook the clearing. The Rapidash choked off in mid-whinny, its eyes rolled back in its head…and it toppled over backwards, throwing Monferno off in the process. "Waaaaauuugh…unfh!" the monkey grunted as he hit the ground. He started to get up…only to be pushed back down again when the unconscious Rapidash landed on top of him, pinning him to the ground. "Ow…" A pair of shadows fell over him, and he looked up fearfully to see the Pikachu and the Lucario looming over him. "…What are you going to do to me?"

"Let you live," said the Lucario with a shrug.

The Monferno blinked. He hadn't been expecting that. "What?"

"If you're dead, then you can't bring a message from us back to your King," the Pikachu explained, sheathing his sword.

The Lucario nodded. "The Monkey King and his kind are not welcome anywhere near Pokemon Square. If they continue to hurt innocent people or try to invade our territory, we'll retaliate with all the force at our disposal."

The Monferno snarled. "Retaliate? You don't have a fraction of our forces! Our armies will overwhelm you!"

The Lucario shrugged. "Sheer numbers didn't help you very much in defeating a couple of guys like us, now did it?"

"And rest assured, there are warriors and Rescue Teams back home even _stronger_ than we are," the Pikachu added.

The Monferno's eyes widened. "E-even _stronger?!_"

The Lucario nodded. "Yeah, that's right. You thought my buddy's swordsmanship was good? Heh, you should see his dad's."

"Your…" The Monferno looked at the Pikachu in disbelief. "No…you are the son of the Thunder Warrior Raiki?! He still lives?!"

The Pikachu smirked. "Lives…and fights. If your King or those like him come anywhere near Pokemon Square, they'll have to deal with warriors of my father's caliber."

"…It doesn't matter," the Monferno insisted, though it wasn't clear if he was trying to convince his conquerors of this or himself. "Our King has a plan in the works…one which will ensure the absolute destruction of your city! He will see Pokemon Square razed to the ground, its inhabitants slain or enslaved, and the last stain of cursed unnatural civilization on this continent wiped away forever, returning everything to the wild, the way it should be!"

"Yeah, the wild…where Pokemon fight, kill, and eat each other for food or for fun," the Lucario said sarcastically. "Yeah, that sounds like the way things should be."

"As long as warriors like ourselves continue to fight to defend them, the 'unnatural' virtues we embody will never die," the Pikachu vowed.

The Monferno grinned fiercely. "Yes, but what happens when _you_ die?" He laughed cruelly. "Go ahead, cherish this victory while you still can! _I will live to rape your women, feast on your blood and flesh, and rip out your hearts with my bare hands!"_ He cackled insanely…and then noticed his audience was walking away. "Hey, wait, I wasn't done swearing vengeance yet!" he whined, but to no avail. "Hello? Guys? Please don't leave me here…I feel so alone…"

The duo walked back over to the tree where Matthias was waiting. As the Lucario hopped up to carry the rodent down, the Rattata's tongue loosened and he finally managed to say the words he'd been holding in all this time while he had watched the warriors fight. "That. Was. AWESOME! That was the most incredibly coolest thing I've ever ever seen! How did you do all that? Who are you guys? Are you _really_ a Rescue Team?!"

The Lucario chuckled and pulled off his blindfold, revealing a pair of perfectly normal red eyes underneath it. "We were able to do all that stuff because we've spent a lot of time training to be that good." He tied the blindfold cloth around his neck, revealing it was actually a bandana. "My name is Ash, and my partner here is Pikachu."

Matthias blinked and looked at the mouse with the sword in confusion. "A Pikachu named Pikachu?"

The Pikachu shrugged. "Family tradition."

"Oh…"

"And to answer your last question, yes, we're a real Rescue Team," Pikachu commented.

Ash nodded. "Rescue Team Aurabolt!"

Matthias' eyes widened in amazement. "Ooohhh…" Then he remembered his body was hurting all over. "Ow…"

The Pikachu frowned as he examined Matthias' wounds, and then glanced up at Ash. "He's hurt pretty badly. I don't think the stuff in our toolbox will be able to fix him up enough to let him go on his way. We'll have to take him into town and get him healed professionally."

Matthias started at that and almost fell out of Pikachu's arms, which would have broken his remaining working limbs. "T-town?! You mean _Pokemon Square?!"_

"Yeah," said Ash, somewhat puzzled. "Is that a problem?"

Matthias flushed anxiously. "I…I've never been into a town before. I'm…"

"Scared?" Pikachu guessed. He smirked. "Relax, you've got nothing to worry about. Most of the bad rumors you hear about cities and the people who live in them are false."

Matthias blinked. "Really?"

Pikachu nodded. "Yeah, if we were really 'arrogant and snobby' Pokemon who think they're above everyone else, we wouldn't have worked so hard to save you, would we?"

Matthias thought about that for a moment. "I…I guess not."

Ash tapped the badge on his chest twice. "Scotty, this is Ash of Team Aurabolt. We've got three to beam back to town." There was a moment's pause. "You heard me right, three; we've got an injured civilian who got hurt badly by the Monkey King's goons, and it doesn't look like he's had any rest or food in days either." There was another pause. "No, I don't know what they were doing so close to town. I'll ask him." Ash looked down at Matthias. "Hey, what _were_ those guys doing out here chasing you anyway?"

Matthias' ears and tail drooped as he remembered how he had gotten into this sorry state in the first place. "My family and I…we live—_lived_—in a nice little hollow near Thunderwave Cave. We never bothered anybody or did anything to make anyone try to hurt us, we've…never been the strongest of Pokemon, so we did our best to stay out of trouble. We did our best to stay hidden and safe, but it was a generally peaceful and happy life. We rarely had to fight and kill to get food like lots of other Pokemon nearby did, there were a lot of berry trees close to our hollow and we were always able to get enough to eat from there. And then…" He started trembling. "Then _they_ showed up…an army of monkey and Fire Pokemon! They said that we were living on the lands of the Monkey King and eating his food without permission, and had to give up all our women to the King as tribute…but we'd never heard of this King or had any idea that our land belonged to anybody but us! My family had lived there for over ten generations, and the idea that this King now had a stronger claim to it was, well, preposterous! So my dad told the leader of the army about as much--in more polite terms of course—and…and…" He squeezed his eyes shut, holding back tears.

The Rescue Team members exchanged glances. "I think we can figure out the rest," Pikachu said quietly. "You're the only one who made it out of there alive, aren't you?"

Matthias nodded miserably, sniffing and trying not to cry. "The only one who escaped, anyway…everyone else was either killed or taken away. A bunch of the monkeys, led by _that_ guy over there," he said, gesturing towards the Monferno trapped under the Rapidash with his tail. "Chased after me. I ran and I ran and I ran for days, but they wouldn't stop until they caught me, and then…and then you two saved me." He looked up at his rescuers with watery, grateful eyes. "I'll never forget what you two did for me. You'll always have the eternal thanks and loyalty of Matthias Shorttail from this day forward."

Ash blinked. "Oh! Then…your tail…that's not an injury?" Both Matthias and Pikachu glared at him, and the Lucario raised his hands in apology. "Right, sorry, tails are a sensitive topic for rodents. I forgot." Clearing his throat awkwardly, he tapped his badge again. "Right, you got all that Scotty? Matthias and his family lived roundabout Thunderwave Cave, until the Monkey King's forces attacked. Yeah, I'm as worried as you are…that means he's been expanding his territory even faster than we thought, to have gotten land that far from Mt. Blaze already. That means he has control over almost all the northern half of Kanjohenn by now. Yes, send the Mayor a message, he'll need to know. And have Nurse Joy's team be ready when we get there, both of us are fine but Matthias here's in pretty bad shape."

Matthias gave Pikachu, who had ran off for a second during Ash's report and returned with a large red and white toolbox, a confused look. "Who's he talking to?"

"The badges we're wearing are more than just a symbol of our job," Pikachu explained. "They're also highly advanced communicators and tracking devices. Scotty, the Rescue Team Coordinator back in Pokemon Square, is able to monitor and keep in touch with every Rescue Team member out in the field remotely using his psychic abilities. We can use the badges in return to let him know how we're doing and when we need to be teleported home after accomplishing a particular mission…or if we've run into a situation so bad that there's nothing we can do but escape as fast as possible."

"Wow," said the awestruck Rattata. "We didn't have any magic like that back home."

Pikachu laughed. "It's not magic, just science…though I suppose the two can be rather indistinguishable sometimes. Things like this are one of the benefits of living in the city."

Matthias shook his head in wonder. "I've always heard that city Pokemon were soft and weak because they relied on technology…but from the way you and your friend here saved my life, mister, I know now that just _can't_ be right…" He paused, then glanced up at Ash, who was still talking to thin air. "Um, how come he was wearing a blindfold earlier if he can see perfectly?"

"Training," said Pikachu. "Lucario are naturally able to perceive Aura, the life-force of living things, by using a sort of 'second sight'. Ash was trying to hone his ability to use that second sight by teaching himself to rely less on his physical eyes. That's what the two of us were doing out here, actually…training. You're lucky we were, or else you would have died; there's nobody else around here that could have helped you for miles."

Matthias nodded in agreement. "Don't I know it…"

"Right, see you in a second," Ash said, finishing up his conversation with Scotty. He glanced at his companions. "Scotty's going to beam us back to town. Matthias, you've probably never been teleported before, but don't worry, this won't hurt a bit."

"You're sure?" Matthias asked anxiously.

"Well, as long as our molecules don't get scrambled due to my holding you while we're being transported and result in us fusing into a hideous two-headed monster, then yes," Ash said, causing Matthias' eyes to bulge out of their sockets.

"Uh, you know what, my legs are actually starting to feel a _lot _better, you don't suppose we could take the long way-" Matthias started anxiously just before he, Ash, and Pikachu were all teleported away in flashes of blue light, leaving the Monferno commander behind, still trapped under his Rapidash.

"Nobody knows the trouble I've seen," he moaned. "Oh, nobody, nobody knows…"

…

Once upon a time, Pokemon, myriad and varied creatures with fantastic powers; and humans, tall and rather weak beings who made up for their inadequacies with a surprising amount of ingenuity and engineering skills; had lived together in relative harmony for countless ages. But then a great cataclysm ravaged the Earth, a disaster so great that it almost completely destroyed the planet and extinguished all life. While the damage done by this disaster was reversed thanks to the legendary Pokemon, the planet's immortal god-like protectors; with the help of an alien visitor, the human race had been completely and tragically wiped out, leaving the Pokemon to inherit the Earth.

Upon becoming the sole inhabitants of the Earth, the Pokemon eventually split into two basic groups: the 'civilized' or city Pokemon, and the wild Pokemon who refused to live in cities for whatever reason. The divide between these two groups of Pokemon was essentially ideological in nature. The city Pokemon were largely descended from Pokemon who had had the most contact and partnership with humans before the great disaster, and so understood the benefits of technology and civilization. Recognition of these benefits convinced them to move into the ruined human cities and to build their own cities and towns with the use of leftover and newly invented technology, governed by laws and norms that allowed them to live in relative peace with each other, rather than constantly battling each other for dominance as their ancestors had. That wasn't to say Pokemon didn't fight anymore, for fighting was in their blood, but it was now done mainly for recreational purposes or 'just to have a little fun' instead of for survival, with stakes rarely going higher than monetary loss and gain or getting beaten up a little and getting the chance to be healed in the Pokemon Centers by attractive and doting representatives of the Chansey clan, who had laid claim to just about every hospital and medical facility in the world.

Wild Pokemon, on the other hand, were largely descended from other wild Pokemon, who had lived in the forests and mountains and oceans for most of their lives, and didn't have much contact with humans, or at least not much _positive_ contact, anyway. Upon gaining control of the Earth, they stubbornly refused to live in any other way but how their ancestors had; believing that fighting for survival and living by the law of the jungle was the 'natural' way for Pokemon to exist. As such, they shunned the cities and their rules, and usually dwelled in the wild places of the world, living in much the same ways that their ancestors had. Generally, wild Pokemon left city Pokemon alone, and city Pokemon left wild Pokemon alone, an unspoken truce of sorts existing between the two groups and keeping one type of Pokemon from trying to destroy, convert, or oppress the other. That wasn't to say it didn't happen, but it wasn't very often.

However, not all wild Pokemon were satisfied with this truce. They believed that, now that all the humans were dead and that only Pokemon lived in this world, all traces of civilization should be wiped out completely, so that all Pokemon could live in the wild as nature 'intended' them to. If this meant that city Pokemon and the towns they lived in had to be destroyed to facilitate the change to total 'naturalism', then so be it. Eventually, this lead to groups of like-minded Pokemon banding together either out of choice or by force and forming barbarian gangs and hordes absolutely dedicated to wiping out the civilized and 'unnatural' places and Pokemon in the world. Over time, their hatred expanded to include the wild Pokemon who seemed to be okay with co-existing with the city-dwellers; in the minds of the barbarians, all wild Pokemon should despise and try to destroy the city folk, and since most wild Pokemon did not, then they needed to be killed or forcibly converted to the cause of destruction as well. Ironically, this led to the barbarians forming their own kind of rudimentary 'civilizations' based on conquest, in which strength and power dominated everything, and the mightiest Pokemon ruled all the others through force and brutality. Most people tended not to point out that this could be considered a form of civilization to the barbarians, however, since it would probably just lead to their violent and agonizing deaths. The hierarchy and makeup of these barbarian groups was constantly shifting and changing as leaders and warlords rose to power and were overthrown, and when some warriors broke off to form their own competing groups, or when the population was decimated by infighting, the barbarians rarely stayed cohesive or stable for very long.

Since no centralized government had been made between the new Pokemon towns and cities (they had basically formed a system similar to the city-states of ancient Greece, though with fewer wars), there was no real organized defense against these barbarians…which was sort of okay, since the barbarians weren't really organized either, they were as likely to kill each other as they were to kill the city Pokemon. As a result, each city had its own defensive force. Most of these forces were essentially a local militia or army, drafted from the ranks of average citizens and trained to be ready to fight hardened and homicidal killers on the field of battle at a moment's notice. Other cities, such as Pokemon Square and many of the other centers of civilization on the continent of Kanjohenn, instead either trained individual warriors or formed Rescue Teams, multiple groups of two to four Pokemon trained to rescue any Pokemon, civilized or wild, who got into trouble out in the wider world and needed help; as well as to fight against barbarians and any other threat, natural or artificial, which endangered their town. The Rescue Teams were much more loosely affiliated with each other than the armies or militia in other places, and often struggled with each other to earn 'points' for pulling off the most rescues. The teams with the most points naturally earned the higher ranks and the tougher and more prestigious missions (as well as the envy of their peers), but in spite of this competitive atmosphere they were still capable of putting their differences aside and working together to stop a common threat whenever necessary.

Team Aurabolt, made up of Ash, Pikachu, and occasionally one or two of their friends (the two team founders being the only really permanent members, everyone else joining and leaving whenever it suited their fancy) was a Platinum-ranked Team, making them one of the top ten Rescue Teams in Pokemon Square, which in turn meant they were one of the top fifty Rescue Teams in all of Kanjohenn. They were still relatively new, having only formed about a year ago, but due to the surprising amount of skill both Ash and Pikachu possessed and the high-profile nature of some of the most difficult missions they'd taken on had boosted them ahead of some of the more senior teams in points and ranking, which naturally caused a few of said senior teams to resent them at least a little bit. They had also become one of the most popular teams in town, not just because of their success rate, but due to the rather fascinating background of the founding members.

Pikachu was the eldest son of Raiki, the legendary Thunder Warrior, and the latest in a long line of samurai Pikachu whose lineage went back hundreds of years, almost as far back as the great cataclysm which devastated the world. Raiki was one of the most celebrated members of his warrior heritage, due to his great strength, courage, and valor in battle. (It also helped that he had managed to save several towns all over the continent more than once, both with and without a Rescue Team.) Even though Pikachu had yet to earn his name through combat (as was family tradition) or wield the sacred blade which was his family's heritage and greatest treasure, his father had seen great potential in his eldest son and everyone expected great things of him. He had already validated those hopes many times in battle and in rescue missions.

While Pikachu had the reputation and history of a long line of honorable samurai warriors in his family to back him up, Ash was a bit more of an enigma…which, if anything, made him even more intriguing to everyone. He had appeared out of nowhere one day almost a year ago near Tiny Woods, with very little memory of who he was or where he had come from…other than the fact that his name was Ash, and that he was absolutely certain he had once been a human, rather than the Lucario he was now. Pikachu had discovered him, and the two of them had immediately become fast friends and decided to go into business as a Rescue Team after saving a Caterpie that had gotten lost in the forest.

At first, nobody had really believed Ash's claims about his once being human, and chalked up his odd behavior and lack of knowledge about the world around him to the amnesia that had caused him to lose his memories. However, after natural disasters began occurring more frequently all over the continent and everyone was reminded of an old legend stating that a human who had managed to skip out of a Ninetales' curse one thousand years ago (letting his partner, a Gardevoir, take the hit in the process) would one day return and cause the destruction of the world, people started to get suspicious. Thankfully, it was revealed by the very same Ninetales and Gardevoir in the legend that Ash was _not_ the prophesized human destroyer (that honor went to Ash's rival Gary the Gengar, leader of the oddly named Team Meanies), he was in fact a different human transported to their world from a parallel Earth that was destined to stop the true source of all the disasters, an incoming meteor that could have destroyed the planet. After obliterating the meteor (well, actually, they got Rayquaza to do it) Ash was accepted as a hero and welcomed back to town with open arms. He and Pikachu continued the work they had started as a Rescue Team, becoming stronger and eventually reaching the highly coveted Platinum rank as well as raising their skill level to its current height.

Ash still didn't really remember anything about his past or the world he had come from, though. It was kind of annoying. Pikachu had made up for it by not only becoming his best friend but by naming Ash his sworn brother and accepting him into his family. Ash, not really remembering ever having any family but a mother he could only faintly recall, was more than happy to become an adopted member of his partner's family, gaining siblings and parents and a roof over his head in the process.

Both of the brothers had become better warriors since they first met outside Tiny Woods; Pikachu learning the ways of the sword and the samurai code of Bushido from his father while Ash attended lessons at Makuhita's dojo to enhance his fighting prowess and gain greater control over the mysterious energy called 'Aura' he was capable of perceiving and manipulating. While Makuhita had taught Ash much about Aura, there was still so much that neither of them knew about it, since Ash was the only person in town capable of seeing it…well, aside from the Psychic-types, but they manipulated it in a different way which Ash was incapable of since he lacked the right amount of brainpower and telepathic ability, so they couldn't really help. It would have been much easier if a true Aura master had been there to teach him, but the Aura Guardians of ancient lore had died out long ago, and the only remaining descendant of their legacy, a legendary Lucario warrior named Aaron who had been the greatest Rescue Team leader Pokemon Square had ever seen, had vanished into the wilderness years ago on a quest of self-enlightenment, never to be seen again.

Regardless, both Ash and Pikachu had become stronger…and they, and everyone else, needed that strength more than ever. In recent months, the frequency and ferocity of barbarian attacks had increased, and almost all the other towns and villages throughout Kanjohenn had been destroyed before Pokemon Square's Rescue Teams could render assistance. Not only that, but the barbarians themselves had started to grow more organized and disciplined…which was worrying for everyone, since the chaotic and self-destructive tendencies barbarian hordes had always exhibited in the past were one of the ways Rescue Teams had been able to defeat them; by tricking the feral Pokemon into turning on themselves and causing the whole invading army to tear itself apart.

And if _that_ weren't bad enough, an especially bloodthirsty and powerful warlord, an Infernape calling himself the 'Monkey King,' had recently managed to form one of the largest hordes in history by uniting most of the wild monkey Pokemon in the north under his rule and killing Vulkanus the Magmortar, the ruler of Mt. Blaze, taking his place as Fire Lord and earning the loyalty of hundreds of dangerous and powerful Fire Pokemon. Since then, he had been expanding his territory at a startling rate, destroying every town his forces came across and crushing all the weaker barbarian rulers in the region who refused to kowtow to him. The other mighty warlords across Kanjohenn were, uncharacteristically, not really doing much in response to the clear threat to their own territories which the Monkey King posed, which made little sense and caused the civilized Pokemon to worry. In the past, they had always been able to count on barbarian armies engaging in territorial pissing contests and reducing each other's numbers significantly just to prove how strong they were before making any big attempt on attacking a city, their distraction usually giving the city's forces enough time to build up their defenses to repel the invaders. The fact that no such thing seemed to be happening presently, allowing the Monkey King's army and land to keep growing day by day, was causing a lot of people in Pokemon Square to lose sleep, terrified that the King would turn his attention on their town next.

Admittedly, there was little chance of such an attack succeeding. Pokemon Square had been assaulted by barbarians many times in the past, but they had always been repelled. This was due in part to the quality of the warriors and Rescue Teams who defended the city, and also because of the town's famous Shield Wall, a technological relic of the long-dead humans which could be raised in times of war to encircle the entire city in a force field which was completely impenetrable to foreign intrusion and attack, but allowed citizens to pass back and forth freely due to a complicated and rather advanced recognition system which operated based on DNA or brainwave patterns or something like that, nobody was really sure how it worked except for the Mayor. The Wall had saved Pokemon Square countless times in the past by forcing the barbarians to exhaust themselves by fruitlessly throwing themselves as the barrier until they finally gave up and went home (or killed each other), so in all likelihood the Wall would save the day again should the Monkey King come 'a calling.

Even so…that didn't keep some people from worrying that maybe, just maybe, the Wall might fail in this instance. After all, no defense was perfect, and just about every other town on the continent previously thought to be indestructible had recently been overridden. Who's to say that Pokemon Square wouldn't be next?

But that's enough backstory. Let's get back to the main event, shall we?

…

In a flash of light, the trio of Lucario, Pikachu, and wounded Rattata reappeared in what would, in another world, have looked like a perfectly ordinary office in any human building. The floor was carpeted from corner to corner in plain vanilla. The walls were lined with bookshelves, awards, and pictures of the office occupant with various celebrities. A desk with three computers--two laptops and one PC--sat at the back of the room, with a large and incredibly complex chart covered in names and numbers and all sorts of other figures written in a rainbow of different colors of ink taking up the entire back wall behind the desk. The only thing about the office which was _not_ normal (well, actually, it _was_ normal in this world, but not in the one Ash had come from or the one in which you or I live, but I digress…) was that the person sitting in the swivel chair behind the desk was a yellow and brown Abra wearing a kilt and what looked like a fake bushy mustache (he claimed it was real, but nobody believed him). He was stretching his psychic abilities to the fullest as the trio watched him work; inputting data on all three of his computers simultaneously using both his hands and one foot to type, telekinetically lifting markers and erasers to add or scratch out information on the chart behind him, and telepathically speaking to numerous people at once…in a Scottish accent, no less! "No, no, lass, for the last time, leave that poor Ursaring alone, it's mating season and they're not tae be trifled with…yes Master Shiftry, hold on, I'll have yer team back here in a jiffy, I'm in the middle of something here…Team Rumblerock, are ye still there? Good, now tell me, how many times have ye been told NOT TAE use seismic attacks inside an unstable cave?! Does ANYTHING I say penetrate yer thick rocky heads? No, that was a rhetorical question, DON'T ANSWER…" He sighed and shook his head in exasperation, waving at Team Aurabolt with his tail to let them know he'd be with them in a minute. "And Team Hydro, what were ye _thinking_ going out into the Desert Region?! Just because ye're Water-types doesn't mean _ye can't die of dehydration_! Ye bloody _idiots!_"

"Wh-who is that?" asked the somewhat frightened Matthias Shorttail.

"That's Scotty, the Rescue Team Coordinator," Pikachu explained. "Don't let him scare you, his bark's worse than his bite. He only yells so much because he cares about all of us Rescue Teams and worries that one day we'll go out on a dangerous mission and never come back. He's seen far too many Rescue Teams he's been close to die over the years, the poor guy. A real veteran…"

"Oh," said Matthias. "Is he you guys' boss?"

Ash shook his head. "No, Rescue Teams don't really report to any authority except for the mayor. Scotty's the guy who sends us out to the field and brings us back, keeps tabs on everyone's health and well-being, and also constantly updates and changes the scores and stats for every Rescue Team, based on their success or failure in a mission."

Scotty finished his conversation with whoever he was talking to and focused some of his attention on Aurabolt, while continuing to work at his computers and the chart behind him. "Ah, boys, welcome back, ye all're looking hale and hearty…looks like yer training's paid off, eh? Ye managed tae take out an entire war party of the Monkey King, not bad…even if they were half-dead from chasing after yer little friend there for the last several days!"

"Thanks, I think," said Ash, not sure if he was being complimented or insulted.

"Scotty, Matthias here needs-" Pikachu started.

Scotty waved him off with a foot. "Healing, yes, yes, I know. Joy! Git in here, woman!"

A very big, voluptuous, and quite pretty pink Blissy waddled through the door behind Team Aurabolt, a look of annoyance creasing her attractive features. "This is _my_ building, you know…I only let you rent the office, that's no excuse for you to boss me around…" Her irritation at her tenant vanished the instant she saw Matthias. "Oh! Oh, you poor dear! So this is the poor creature whose home and family were destroyed by the Monkey King?" She shot a glare at Ash and Pikachu. "I hope you gave the lugs responsible for this a good thrashing!"

"We certainly did, ma'am," Pikachu assured her. "They won't be bothering any other innocent folk anytime soon, trust me!"

Joy nodded, a very happy smile forming on her face. "Good! Now, let's take a look at you…" She bent down to take a closer look at Matthias, who was still in Ash's arms and rather frightened by the close proximity of this immense, _pink_ creature. It just had so much _mass_ to it…more than any Pokemon he had ever seen before! After a moment's appraisal, Nurse Joy nodded and straightened up. "He's pretty badly hurt, but most of the damage seems to be superficial, thankfully, seemingly unaware of Matthias' fear of her. "With some of my patented super-medicine, some bone resetting, and the miracle of modern medical science, I should have him up and on his feet again in just a few days!"

Matthias was so startled by this information that he forgot how intimidated he was by the voluminous nurse. "A few days?! Th-that's impossible!"

Ash smirked. "Heh, you don't know our Nurse Joy."

"One time when I was a lot younger I was playing with one of my dad's swords when I wasn't supposed to…and I accidentally ran myself through and started bleeding everywhere," Pikachu confessed. "My parents rushed me over to Nurse Joy immediately. Just a few hours later, she sent me back home, as good as new, almost as if I hadn't nearly skewered myself to death on one of my father's swords. There wasn't even a scar! Which I kind of thought was disappointing, because that meant I didn't have anything to show off to my friends…"

"I'm amazed your dad still decided to train you after that incident," Ash confessed.

Pikachu shrugged. "Being a swordsman is a family tradition…and besides, he who lives by the sword dies by the sword, or something like that." He smirked. "If anything, it actually convinced my dad to start training me _sooner_, so that I wouldn't have an accident like that again."

"Wow…did you really do that?!" the awestruck Matthias asked Nurse Joy, who nodded.

"Yes, and I've treated _far_ worse injuries than that, too!" She frowned at Ash and Pikachu, who had the sense to look ashamed of themselves. "Mostly to overconfident young Pokemon like yourselves who risk their lives on incredibly dangerous missions out in the wild without taking their personal health into consideration!"

Ash shrugged. "Well, we always know that you can patch us back together no matter how badly we get hurt. You're a medical miracle-worker, Nurse Joy!"

The compliment seemed to sadden the Blissey instead of flattering her. She sighed and shook her head unhappily. "It's attitudes like that that get more Rescue Teams killed…" Shrugging it off, she tried to clap her arm nubs together, failed because they were so far apart from each other, tried to snap her fingers, only to remember she had none, then sighed in exasperation and just whistled.

A hover-stretcher levitated into the room on silent repulsor engines, operated by a tiny Happiny, one of Nurse Joy's myriad children, sitting in a baby seat attached to the stretcher's control panel. Matthias' eyes widened in astonishment. "Wh-what is that?! How's it staying off the ground?!"

"What, this? Oh, it's just a standard anti-gravity repulsor field generator, used to make heavy objects levitate for easier transport," said the Happiny pilot. "Humans invented it a while ago, before they all went stinky."

"Extinct," Joy corrected.

"Yeah, that too," said the Happiny.

"Some humans used it for rapid transit, too," Pikachu explained to the stunned Matthias. "But we Pokemon don't really use it for that…mainly because there aren't many safe routes between cities, what with barbarians always roaming about. I think there were plans at one point for something called a 'monorail' or 'maglev' train which would go all over the continent and connect all the cities together, but local environmentalists as well as barbarians and wild Pokemon who didn't like large vehicles driving through their homes protested (violently), so the idea was scrapped."

"So we just walk, fly, or teleport everywhere instead," Joy finished. "Which is why psychics like Mr. Scotty here are so highly valued in busy, fast-paced towns like Pokemon Square…even if he could use an attitude adjustment…"

"Ah, bite me, ye bloody wench," Scotty grumbled.

"We're just going to use this to transport you to the operating room where I can begin to work my healing magic on you, so to speak," Joy told Matthias.

"I-is it safe?" Matthias asked anxiously.

"Perfectly safe! Unless the repulsors should break down for some reason and cause us to crash violently," the Happiny said cheerfully, causing the poor Rattata's face to go pale.

"Uh, you know, I'm feeling a _lot_ better already, if you'd just put me down I'm sure I could find my way out of here..." Matthias said anxiously.

"Oh, I wouldn't hear of it!" Nurse Joy said insistently, taking the protesting rodent out of Ash's hands and placing him gently on top of the stretcher, strapping him down so he wouldn't hurt himself (or try to escape). "There you are, nice and cozy! Now, let's go cut open your body and perform some surgery on your insides, okay?"

"Heeeeeeelp!" Matthias wailed piteously as Nurse Joy and her spawn spirited him away.

Ash and Pikachu sweatdropped. "He'll be all right…won't he?" the Lucario asked his sworn brother.

"So long as Happiny doesn't get a little overeager-" Pikachu started, only to be interrupted by a high-pitched scream of pure terror from the hallway, followed by a rather loud crash. "Er, scratch that."

"Aw, the lad'll be fine," Scotty said dismissively. "If he could survive those filthy apes, he can survive Joy's kids…I think. Now, come over here, the both of ye, we need to have a little talk about what happened out there."

The brothers looked at each other uncertainly. "Uh, sure…what's up?" Ash asked as they came closer.

Scotty typed something into one of his computers. "Ye did a good job out there, lads. Ye saved that wee lad's life, annihilated a pack of the Monkey King's goons, and brought in vital intel on the enemy's movements and how far their reach has spread. Ever since the neighboring towns were destroyed, we've had virtually no information on what's going on out there, save for what the Teams we send out bring back. We're practically sitting ducks right now…we need as much information as tae what those barbarian blokes are up tae as possible. How else can we plan a proper counter-offensive?"

"Couldn't we just sit tight here and let them come to us?" Ash asked. "I mean, they can't get inside the Shield Wall, can they?"

"In _theory_, they can't," Scotty grumbled. "Though they could get in if somebody let them in, assuming they had a dirty sneak of an agent inside our walls, which, thankfully, they _don't_…at least, not as far as we know." He sighed. "And in any event, just because they can't get in and we can move about freely doesn't mean we're in the clear, oh no. The two of ye have never been in a siege before…and let me tell you, it's bloody nasty business. Even if they can't get tae us, they still have access tae most of our food supply in the surrounding forests. We have farms and orchards and storehouses within the city, but…they can only last so long." He shook his head. "It don't matter if ye have the strongest walls in the world protecting ye if ye don't have enough _food_ to outlast the blighters waitin' for ye outside. That's why we sent an expeditionary force along with those ladyfriends of yours to our sister city of Treasure Town in Sinnorre, tae get some additional supplies should it ever come tae a long, drawn-out siege."

Ash flushed. "They're not our ladyfriends!"

"Not _mine,_ anyway," Pikachu commented, causing Ash to glare at him. Scotty chuckled. It was well known by just about everyone in Pokemon Square that Ash and Misty the Vaporeon had a _thing_ for each other, even if neither of them acknowledged or even realized it. And Gardevoir was _very_ grateful to Ash for the significant part he had played in breaking her thousand-year curse, leading many to half-jokingly suggest she had a crush on him. Ash was not amused by this, and Gardevoir seemed to be completely oblivious to the rumors, which didn't help matters.

"Anyway, the Mayor'll be able tae make good use of this information," Scotty continued. "And…I think everything that ye've done today has earned ye boys some bonus points. Enough tae, say…" The markers and erasers went wild on the chart behind him, swiftly rearranging and rewriting everything until it almost looked as if… "Boost yer Rescue Team up to Diamond rank and the number three slot? What d'ye say tae that, now?"

Ash and Pikachu's jaws dropped in astonishment. "Number three?! Wow!" Ash cried.

"I hadn't noticed we were that close…incredible…" murmured the amazed Pikachu.

"Eh, don't feel too proud of yerselves boys, ye just _barely _made it," Scotty told them gruffly. "And besides, ye still have a long, _long_ way tae go before ye'll be anywhere close tae beating Team A.C.T. or Team Aura Force!"

Ash and Pikachu were forced to admit the old Abra was right. Team A.C.T. and Team Aura Force were the best Rescue Teams not only in town, but on the entire continent. Team Aura Force had been the one led by the legendary Lucario warrior Aaron, and they had accomplished feats of such wonder that they were still spoken of in reverent tones to that day. After Aaron had disappeared, his closest friend, Allen the Alakazam, had formed a new Rescue Team, Team A.C.T., along with Charlie the Charizard and T-Bone the Tyranitar. While they had not quite beaten Team Aura Force's record, they had established themselves as a truly heroic group in their own right, going on to save Pokemon Square, several other towns, and even the entire continent over a dozen times. In fact, if it hadn't been for that 'destiny' thing and the fact that Team A.C.T. had been worn out from battling a recently awakened and extremely pissed-off Groudon, they might have saved the world from the meteor instead of Ash and Pikachu. Team A.C.T. had been a big role model and mentors to the up-and-coming Team Aurabolt, and they hoped to one day be as renowned as the more senior team.

"Speaking of A.C.T…" Ash started.

Scotty cut him off with a shake of his head and a weary sigh. "No lad, they're still MIA, on a mission for the Mayor, one so secret not even _I_ know what it's about. Still haven't heard a peep from them, so they're probably under deep cover, out of range of my senses, or even…dead. Sorry lad, but it's a possibility we have to recognize," he said apologetically, seeing the crestfallen expression on Ash's face.

"They can't be dead…they're too tough to die…" Ash muttered to himself, intentionally ignoring the fact that on two separate occasions he and Pikachu had actually rescued Team A.C.T. from enemies so strong that they had almost killed the senior Team.

"If they _are_ alive, I hope they'll be back soon," Pikachu commented. "For one thing, their absence now means _we're_ the top Rescue Team in town, which means a lot of pressure's going to be put on us if the barbarians try to invade. And second…Charla's egg's going to hatch soon. Charlie would never forgive himself if he missed that."

Ash frowned and nodded in agreement. Charlie was the only married member of Team A.C.T. His wife was a lovely (and very strong) Charizard named Charla, who had laid their first egg just before Charlie and the rest of his team had been sent out on their mysterious mission. "How long will it be until it hatches?"

"The big pink one next door thinks it'll be another couple of weeks…a month, tops," said Scotty. "And then we'll have a wee bairn of a Charmander roaming about and setting things on fire, just like his old man did when he was that age. He was so cute back then…" The old Abra smiled wistfully, his mind wandering through days long past.

Ash blinked. "Just how old _are_ you, anyway?"

Scotty responded by telekinetically throwing a book at Ash. He dodged it reflexively. "Ye'll be lucky to live as long as I have, lad, considering the way the two of ye are always rushing off into trouble! Now git out of here, I've got work tae do and plenty of other Rescue Teams who aren't quite as good as ye are begging me for assistance! Out! Out!" He hurled more books at the duo, driving them out of his office.

"Well, he certainly knows how to show us he cares, doesn't he?" Ash quipped as they ran for their lives.

"I suppose this is what they call 'tough love'," Pikachu replied. "At least he's just throwing cheap paperbacks at us instead of the big heavy tax volumes."

"I can't imagine why," Ash commented. "I mean, _I_ certainly wouldn't want something that big and boring taking up my bookshelf."

Pikachu gave his brother a wry look. "Ash, I thought that to you, _all_ books were boring."

Ash scowled at his partner. "Hey!"

Pikachu laughed. Ash fumed. Scotty yelled and kept throwing books at them. Just another average day in Pokemon Square.

…

Pokemon Square was the largest town in Kanjohenn. It might not have been that big compared to the enormous metropolises the humans had used to live in and some of the other cities elsewhere in the world, but it was still a fair-sized town, plenty big enough for the few hundred Pokemon who lived there.

The town was placed near the mouth of a river flowing out to sea, on the side of a gentle slope which rolled down towards the beach and a wharf jutting out into the waters of Firefly Bay, so named because of the mystical firefly-like lights which could be seen dancing over the water at nighttime. A few boats were moored and anchored at the wharf, but most of the Pokemon who made a habit of going out on the water were aquatics and could swim on their own power, so the vessels available to the townsfolk were more for recreational purposes than anything else. A bluff sharply cut across the beach and jutted out over the water from the town's southeast side, with a lone building shaped like a Pelipper placed at its tip; the local post office. Why it had been built there, nobody knew.

Pokemon Square was laid out on a roughly stepped plane to account for the slope of the hill it had been built on top of, with a somewhat rectangular wall surrounding the town on three sides and even extending out a little into the bay. This made it so that, aside from the three gates set in each wall, there was no way into the city save for by water (or by flight), but considering the numerous rocks and jagged coral reefs placed throughout the bay in such a way so that they seemed to complete the 'box' formation started by the town walls, it was a chancy venture to swim or take a boat to the Square if you didn't know the right paths through all the obstructions lurking just beneath the surface. And that was just the inanimate stuff, there were plenty of Water Pokemon living in the bay who would be more than happy to waylay (or eat) any invader who tried to attack the town by sea.

Assuming they could penetrate the infamous Shield Wall, that is. When raised, the Wall enclosed the town in a rectangular pyramid-shaped force field following the outlines of the regular wall (and reefs), surrounding Pokemon Square on all sides and from above. It also extended several hundred feet below the surface, preventing any subterranean intruder from burrowing into the city.

The area just outside the town walls was mostly taken up by farmlands and fields to grow crops to feed the townsfolk, with largely unoccupied forests just past them. There were a couple of other farming fields within the city limits, but they were a bit smaller and mostly relegated to the northern quarter, which was also where most of the food silos and storehouses were located. A large part of this quarter, filling up the northeastern bit and flowing down a bit to the center of town, was covered in trees and looked as if there was a bit of forest growing right in the heart of Pokemon Square. This forest was actually artificial (so to speak), grown using the influence of Grass-type Pokemon to create a 'safe' and controlled natural setting in which Pokemon who were new to town or disliked the sort of hustle and bustle and forced close contact with others that city life entailed could go to relax without worrying that they might get attacked by wild or barbarian Pokemon. This micro-forest also served a functional purpose, it provided plenty of yummy berries and fruits which could be harvested and consumed directly, or processed into Pokeblock, poffin, or gummis to be eaten as snacks.

At the exact center of town, just on the edge of the artificial forest, was a large pond formed by a waterfall flowing into it from the woods. This pool was the Mayoral residence, where the Mayor of Pokemon Square, Mayur Whiscash the XXXVIIth, reigned over the town. The Mayor had a fin in every aspect of town life, and it was not unfair to say that he was, in many ways, the absolute sovereign of Pokemon Square. He knew everything that went on in the lives of his people, organized the farming and fishing and foraging expeditions which brought in food from outside the city walls, was responsible for directing the Rescue Teams and the town's defenses in times of trouble, provided funding and supplies for the various small businesses owned by the Pokemon who lived in his domain, maintained diplomatic and trade relations with other towns throughout the continent, and knew all sorts of other secrets hidden from everyone else, secrets which made him the only one capable of operating the town's Shield Wall…and some of the other mechanisms which kept Pokemon Square safe from invaders. His pond was the figurative and literal heart of the town. A large and ornate plaza was set just south of the Mayor's pond, the titular 'square' which gave the town its name.

Streets radiated out from the square in somewhat chaotic zigzagging intersecting patterns, rather than in straight lines. These streets followed the contours of the land, and also served to be partly defensive measures, keeping invaders (in the unlikely event that any should penetrate the city) from being able to make a straight charge towards the Mayor's residence. Dotting the streets, tightly clustered in some places and more loosely spread out in others, once more following the contours of the land, were buildings. Most of these buildings were houses or stores, with the latter placed near the town's outskirts, and the former set somewhat closer to the center of Pokemon Square. Rescue Team bases tended to be roughly in between the stores and the houses, or mingled throughout the two. There wasn't much of an even divide between them. The most important buildings and facilities such as the Pokemon Center, library, museum, school, armory, power plant, community center, and entrance to the underground disaster shelters ringed the main plaza. This was done intentionally, once more as a kind of defensive measure, as well as to put all the really important things in one place for ease of access.

The majority of the buildings, houses and stores and other structures, were constructed in the shape of the occupant's head. When Ash, upon coming to Pokemon Square for the first time, asked Pikachu why that was, the mouse had replied, "How else would you know who lived there?" Unable to provide an answer to such infallible logic, Ash had remained silent, although he was pretty certain buildings weren't shaped like that back where he came from. He had, eventually, gotten over the weirdness he felt upon entering and exiting a building through doors shaped like large mouths, but there were still times when the ridiculousness of it overwhelmed him.

"You don't feel the _least_ bit odd about going in and out of a building shaped like a Chansey through what would be its egg pouch if it were a real Pokemon?" Ash asked Pikachu, glancing back uneasily at the Pokemon Center they had just exited.

"No, not really," Pikachu replied. "I still don't see why it bothers you so much."

Ash sighed. "I suppose it's better than going through the butt…or…well, you know."

Pikachu gave his brother a puzzled look. "Why would that be a bad thing?"

"…Oh, never mind," Ash said in exasperation, giving up.

Gossip traveled astonishingly fast in a town the size of Pokemon Square; with only a few hundred Pokemon living there at any given period of time, so it wasn't surprising that by the time Ash and Pikachu were halfway to their base, friends and acquaintances of theirs were stopping them as they passed by to give their congratulations.

"Hey, Ash, Pikachu! Congratulations on making it to the top three, you certainly deserved it!" Kec the Kecleon, a green chameleon, called from the red mat in front of his store, which was shaped like his head, naturally enough.

"Still got a long way to go before you two can beat Team A.C.T. or Team Aura Force, though!" laughed Leon, Kec's brother, an unusually colored purple Kecleon. Or maybe it wasn't unusual, Kecleon could change colors at will, so perhaps he just liked being purple rather than having been born that way. Ash and Pikachu frowned at Leon, not amused. He coughed and looked away awkwardly. "Er, right, sorry…"

"Anyway, now that you're number 3, you're eligible for special discounts on all our items!" Kec informed the duo. "Only the best for our town's strongest, right?"

Ash's tall ears rose at this information. "Really? Finally! Now maybe I can afford to buy that Power Band I've had my eye on…"

"Or that TM for Vacuum Cut," Pikachu added. "That's a move not even my father knows…yet."

"No problem, just show us your Diamond-rank badges and we'll set you up," Leon told the brothers.

Ash and Pikachu stared at him blankly. "Diamond-rank?" Ash asked, looking confused.

"Yeah, Diamond-rank, you know, the diamond-colored super-valuable badge that shows you're in the top three?" Kec prodded. Ash and Pikachu gave each other uneasy looks. They were still wearing the Platinum-rank badges they had earned after making it into the top ten. Kec frowned. "You don't have them?"

"I…suppose Scotty forgot to give them to us," Pikachu said slowly.

"Or maybe he threw them at us along with all those books when he chased us out of his office?" Ash grumbled under his breath.

Kec shrugged apologetically. "Well, until you get those badges, we can't give you those discounts. Sorry."

"They're probably in the mail," Leon suggested. "For all you know, they might already be waiting for you back at your base!"

Ash perked up at that suggestion. "Hey, yeah, they might be! We were just on our way there now! C'mon Pikachu, let's see if those new badges are waiting for us!"

Pikachu nodded. "Very well. I guess we'll be seeing you later, Kecleon Brothers."

The Kecleon brothers smiled. "We look forward to your future patronage," said Kec. "You're two of our most valued customers, after all."

"And remember," Leon added. "We have Kecleon shops all over the world, sometimes in the most surprising places. But no matter what far-flung locale you find one of our branches in, the same rule applies in all of them…"

The Kecleons' heads abruptly swelled up to several times the size of their bodies, with horrible demonic expressions on their faces which scared the shit out of Ash and Pikachu. "NO SHOPLIFTING OR ELSE!"

As Ash and Pikachu trembled in shock, recovering from the near-heart attack they had just received, the Kecleons reverted to normal and smiled at the team cheerfully. "Thank you, come again!"

"G-geez, you accidentally set _one_ foot off the mat while holding one of their items before paying for it, and they never let you forget it…" Ash stammered as they walked away, trying to stop himself from shivering. "Arceus, those guys scare me…"

"Economists can be most terrifying foes indeed," the wide-eyed Pikachu agreed, clutching the handle of his sword for comfort.

Speaking of economists, the next person who called out to them was the banker, Giovanni the Persian, who ran the Felicity Bank, the sole place in town where you could get a credit account, purchase loans, and make Poke' deposits. "Hello boys! Is it true what I've heard, that you've managed to reach the Diamond Rank and become the number three team in town by saving a helpless Ratatta from a group of mangy simians?"

Pikachu nodded. "You heard correctly, sir. I don't suppose Team Constrictor will be happy to hear that, though…" Team Constrictor, made up of a Tentacruel, Octillery, and Cradily, had been the former team ranked at number three. By advancing, Ash and Pikachu had displaced them from that coveted position, though since they were out of town on a mission at the moment, they probably hadn't heard about the change just yet.

Giovanni laughed. "No, I don't suppose they will be…you'd better watch out so that they don't, well, constrict you. After all, if you were to die in some tragic accident, what would happen to all the money you've deposited into my bank over the last few months? As far as I know, neither of you has written a will…"

"I guess it'd go to the town or Pikachu's family or something," Ash said with a shrug, clearly not worried about the possibility.

"Yes…to the town…" Giovanni said. "Well, now that you're Diamond-ranked, can I expect much more business from you?" He smiled winningly. "Some teams renovate their bases after getting to the highest ranks. Were you thinking of doing the same thing? If so, I could offer you a reasonable loan to pay for the construction…"

"We'll think about it," said Pikachu. "I think our base is all right for the time being."

"But if we decide to start doing any heavy spending, you'll be the first to know," Ash assured the Persian.

"Excellent," Giovanni said, sounding pleased. Once the duo was on their way, his happy expression fell and a more sinister one took its place. _Those fools have no idea that I've been secretly skiving off money from their accounts, and everyone else in town's, to fund the underground criminal organization I've been forming right under their noses…Team Rocket! Once we have enough Poke' and all the resources we need, we will be able to launch our bid to conquer Pokemon Square, and from there, the world!_ He frowned. _I'll have to keep an eye on those super-powerful Rescue Teams, though…if any of them find out what I'm up to before we're ready; it'll all be over for Team Rocket!_ He thought for a moment. _Hmm…but now that they're Diamond-ranked, they'll be taking on harder and harder missions…which means there's a greater chance they won't come back. If something untoward were to, ah _happen_ to them on such a mission…well, that would certainly take care of my problem, wouldn't it? Mwahahahahaha!_

"Why are you laughing malevolently?" the Gulpin in charge of the Link Shop next door asked Giovanni.

The Persian paled. "Oh crap, was I doing that out loud again? Uh, terribly sorry, I keep forgetting to take my anti-megalomania pills."

"You sure do that a lot…" the Gulpin muttered, eyeing him suspiciously before going back into his store. "I think you need to start taking higher dosages, with the amount of evil cackling and muttering sinisterly under your breath you do all the time."

Giovanni's eye twitched. _Right, that Gulpin's going to have to go too,_ he decided. _Too bad they're immune to most poisons, with that one's voracious appetite it would have been all too easy to make it seem like he died from eating something he shouldn't have…_

While Giovanni plotted, Ash and Pikachu said hello to Mrs. Kangaskhan and her baby Kanga Jr. at Kangaskhan Storage. "The little guy's growing up pretty fast, isn't he?" Ash said, tickling the baby in Mrs. Kangaskhan's chest pouch affectionately.

"Stop it, that tickles!" the little gray child managed to cry out between laughs.

Mrs. Kangashkan nodded in agreement, gently pushing Ash's finger away from her child's belly. "Yes, he'll soon grow up to be a big strong Kangaskhan, just like…" She hesitated for a moment, and sighed. "His father…"

Ash and Pikachu exchanged sad looks. It was well-known that Mrs. Kangaskhan's late husband had been a high-ranking Rescue Team member back in the day…but he and his entire team had died saving a small village out near Lapis Cave from being devoured by a swarm of ravenous Munchlax. Mr. Kangaskhan and his team had been eaten alive fighting the monsters, but in doing so managed to buy enough time for the villagers to escape to safety. Mr. Kangaskhan and his team had been given a hero's funeral (despite their being nothing left of them to bury), and their names and images had been enshrined in the Hall of Heroes in the town museum, alongside the likenesses of all the other warriors and Rescue Teams from Pokemon Square who had died doing their duty.

"I'm sure your husband would be proud of your son, and what he will become," Pikachu told the somewhat morose reptilian kangaroo.

Mrs. Kangaskhan nodded gratefully. "Thank you, Pikachu. I appreciate that." She cheered up. "So, anyway, I've heard you boys saved a poor soul fleeing the Monkey King and made it to the top three! Congratulations! I hope your new position won't keep you from coming to visit your old friend Mrs. Kangaskhan every now and then…"

"Of course not, Mrs. K!" Ash said indignantly. "We love coming to see you! And besides, where else could we put all the junk we find that we don't have enough room to keep around the base?" Pikachu glared at him. Ash sweatdropped. "Oh, right, shouldn't have said that…"

Pikachu rolled his eyes. "Anyway…" He reached into the team toolbox and pulled out a handful of fangs from various different Pokemon, which he showed to Mrs. Kangaskhan. "I managed to get a few of these off the monkeys we were fighting earlier. Do you know if they're worth holding onto?"

Mrs. Kangaskhan quickly appraised the items. While Ash and Pikachu could have asked the Kecleon brothers how much they would pay for an item they had found out in the wild, they trusted Mrs. K to give them a more honest idea of its value. "Hmm…most of these are junk…especially considering the obvious lack of dental care these teeth's former owners indulged in…but Aipom and Ambipom teeth are in vogue right now, they can be ground up and used for medicine. You could probably get about seventy to a hundred Poke' a piece for just one of those chompers. Would you like me to hold onto them for you until you feel like selling them?"

"Thank you, I'd appreciate that," Pikachu said, handing over the teeth. Mrs. Kangaskhan handed them in turn to her child, who stowed them somewhere deep in her pouch. Ash was always amazed by how many things she seemed to be able to keep in there. There were times he was all but convinced that it was bottomless, like a Munchlax's stomach.

"What about Chimchar tail hair? Is that worth anything?" Ash asked, holding out a handful of smoking orange fur.

Pikachu, Mrs. Kangaskhan, and Kanga Jr. stared at Ash in disbelief. "How exactly did you get that hair without burning your hands off?" Pikachu asked in astonishment. "And carry it here without putting it in the toolbox?"

Ash flushed. "I'd…rather not talk about it…"

Once the awkward moment was past (and Ash learned he could get over 500 Poke' for the fur, seeing as how it was useful in making fuel and toupees for balding Pokemon), Ash and Pikachu continued on their way, receiving more congratulations from their friends—and death threats from their rivals—before they finally made it back to their base, a building shaped like a Lucario's head with a flag bearing the emblem of an Aura Sphere surrounded by a crackling Thunderbolt (the design they had come up with to symbolize their team) waving atop a flagpole right beside it. Statues of a Weavile and a Mime Jr., prizes they had won from completing certain missions, decorated their front lawn. Pikachu and most of the neighbors thought they were tacky, but Ash insisted that they were cool and that they should hang onto them, over his teammate's protests. "Home sweet home!" Ash said with a pleased sigh, glad to be back at their headquarters.

"And it looks like we have mail," Pikachu commented, pointing to the mailbox at the end of the short paved path leading to their front door. The flag, shaped like a Pikachu's tail, was up. "Maybe those Diamond badges the Kecleon brothers mentioned have arrived?"

They checked the mailbox. Sadly, their new badges had not yet arrived. However, they were pleased to see that there was a package from Misty and Gardevoir in Treasure Town. "Hey, it's a package from Misty and Gardevoir in Treasure Town!" Ash announced, examining the return address on the vaguely cylindrical object wrapped in brown paper. "Wonder what it is?"

"Maybe something interesting they got in Treasure Town which they thought we'd like?" Pikachu suggested. "Though why they didn't wait to give it to us until they got back, I don't know…"

"Maybe they didn't want to bother waiting," Ash suggested, ripping off the paper and casually throwing it away.

"Ash, they're due back the day after tomorrow with the rest of the supply team," Pikachu reminded his partner flatly as he picked up the litter the Lucario had just thrown on their front lawn. "Just because you have a problem waiting patiently doesn't mean everyone else in the world does."

Ash scowled at his brother, then examined the object their lovely female friends had sent them. It was a black cylindrical case made of unknown material with strange golden swirls that almost looked as if they were moving decorating its surface. Ash frowned, sensing a strange power emanating from the case…and he wasn't even looking at it with his Aura-sight! "Hmm…" He set the case on the ground and tried to open it. Much to his surprise, the latch undid itself and the lid popped open the instant he touched it. Shoddy workmanship? Or something more?

Inside the case, cushioned in red velvet, was a rolled-up piece of parchment tied with a bright red ribbon, as well as an envelope with the words 'To Ash and Pikachu' scrawled rather hastily on it. "What's that?" Pikachu asked.

"I'm not sure," Ash replied. He handed the envelope to Pikachu, who dutifully opened it, then undid the ribbon wrapped around the parchment and unfurled it so he could get a better look at it. He frowned, for a moment it had looked completely blank, but then…he could suddenly see an image on it; what appeared to be a map of some place he had never been before, with some strange symbols and writing in a language he didn't understand placed here and there. Was it just him, or were a couple of the symbols _blinking?_

Wary, he was about to close his eyes and take a better look at the strange map with his Aura-sight when the Pikachu beside him made a strangled gasp. "What? What is it?" Ash asked, glancing at his friend in concern.

"You need to take a look at this," Pikachu said, handing his friend the letter that had been in the envelope he had just opened. Ash's eyes widened in alarm as he saw—and smelled—what appeared to be traces of blood on the letter.

Grabbing the bloodstained note from Pikachu, he read the letter. Then he read it again, just to make sure he hadn't imagined what it had said the first time. Then he read it _again_, this time in Aura-sight, to make sure that not only had what he seen the first two times really been on the letter, but that this letter had, in fact, come from Misty and Gardevoir.

When he was done validating it, he looked over at his friend, a steely look in his red eyes. "We need to tell the Mayor about this," he said. "_Immediately_."

…

What exactly was in the letter that has Ash and Pikachu so worried? Why was there _blood_ on the letter? To find out the answer to that question, you'll need to wait until next time…


	4. Prophecies and legacies

After the eventful world-building in the last chapter, now we get to move on with the plot. Bet you were all wondering what was in that letter which was so bad it scared Ash and Pikachu, right? Well, it's time to find out…

Oh, and you'll be happy to know I made some edits to chapter 3 to make it slightly more readable. Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters or creatures which don't belong to me. The concept behind the places, the names, and lots of other stuff is all mine, though.

…

_Dear Ash and Pikachu,_

_We don't have much time left. I wish I could explain everything right now, but they've almost got us, so there simply isn't time. I'll write down everything I can before it's too late, though._

_Everyone else is dead. The entire expedition, murdered by _them_…by the fiends chasing us now. They're much stronger than we imagined…I don't think even my psychic abilities can save us from them. The technology and power they wield, it's…I would say it's like nothing I've ever seen before, but something about it feels almost familiar…_

_That's not important. You need to understand what's happened, and why._

_It all started when I purchased a map on a whim in the Treasure Town market. The very same map that came with this letter. It's a magical map, created by a group of ancient wizards a _very _long time ago and enchanted so that only the pure of heart could open the case it was ensconced in and understand the information it revealed. The map leads to a great treasure buried beneath Treasure Town, and also tells where the seven keys which open the seven locks protecting the treasure can be found._

_We have seen the treasure, or rather, the sealed door protecting it. It's…immense, bigger than any door I have ever seen before. And dark beyond imagining. The power I sensed emanating from the other side…that door must never be opened. Ever._

_But there are those who want to see it opened, and claim the power waiting behind for themselves. They are the ones who are chasing us; they are the ones who killed everyone else. Their minds have turned black with corruption, and the doors to their hearts have been welded shut. They are the closest to pure evil I could ever imagine a Pokemon to be. They absolutely cannot be allowed to have the map; for even though their hearts are too dark to use it, they could easily find someone else to do it for them…or force me, the person who unlocked the map's power in the first place, to help them against my will. _That cannot be allowed to happen.

_That is why I have sent the map and its enchanted case to you, Ash and Pikachu. If anyone is strong enough to protect it, and pure enough to use it if they had to, it's you two. You must do all in your power to keep it out of the hands of those who seek it. If they should ever find the keys marked on the map and open that great door…_

_I would ask you not to come after us, to stay in Pokemon Square where their evil cannot reach you and where the map would stay safe forever, but…their resources are incredible. I fear that they might be able to eventually find all the keys even without the map. If you were to use the map yourself, to find the keys before they do and take them back to Pokemon Square, you might be able to save the world…_

_But they might also take the map and keys from you while you are out in the open, and so doom us all. I have no doubt that, no matter how hard you try, they _will_ find you if you go searching for them and interfering in their business. And I don't know if even you two are strong enough to defeat them._

_If, for whatever reason, you decide to try and use the map to find the keys…then go to Treasure Town and find Professor Oak. He can tell you more._

_They're almost here. Our time is up. We do not intend to let them take us alive, but should they manage to capture us anyway, do not waste time trying to rescue us. Our fate has already been sealed. You have more important things to worry about now._

_Keep the map hidden. Keep it safe. And whatever you do, beware the encircled N. It is their sign, and their calling card._

_May Arceus smile upon you, and be more merciful to you than he has been to us._

_Signed, Misty and Gardevoir._

_P.S. Misty says_

…

"Well?" Mayor Mayur Whiscash the XXXVIIth demanded when Ash hadn't said anything else for a few moments. "Misty says _what?_"

Ash shrugged helplessly. "That's it," he said apologetically. "There's nothing more."

Pikachu spoke up. "That must have been when they (whoever _they_ are) caught up to them. They probably didn't have any more time to write, so just sent the letter and the map off as fast as they could."

The mayor frowned, his whiskers twitching in displeasure. "Hmm…so I see…" He frowned. "What did they mean by the 'encircled N?'"

Ash turned over the letter and crouched down to the water level so that the mayor could see it better. "She drew a picture right next to it, in the margins of the page. We think that's the 'sign' she was talking about."

The mayor examined the image in question. It resembled a cross between a stylized N and one of those caution signs, the ones with red circles placed over a picture of a dangerous object or action with a slash mark going through the center to indicate that object or action was forbidden. In this case, however, it was a rather rounded and spiky N which made the red circle and slash, and what looked an awful lot like the planet Earth taking the place of the forbidden thing. "Hmm…it's unwise to judge too quickly, but just by looking at this emblem, and from what I've inferred about these ne'er do wells from their descriptions in the letter, they sound like the kind of group that's trying to take over and/or destroy the world." He sighed unhappily. "There's a never-ending supply of people like that, isn't there? Why can't they just accept the wonders of life and stop trying to destroy it all the time?"

Ash started to say something, but Pikachu stepped on his foot and glared at him. It had been a rhetorical question. As Ash grimaced and rubbed his foot, the mayor sighed and swam in a wide, lazy circle around his pond, deep in thought. Ash and Pikachu were standing on an ornate stone dock which extended a quarter of the way into the large pond which made up the mayor's residence and was traditionally where petitioners came to speak to the town's leader on important matters. After making a circuit around the perimeters of his domain, the mayor returned to the two mammals waiting patiently for him and looked at them questioningly with his big, offset eyes. "You realize what we need to do in response to this, don't you?"

Ash narrowed his eyes and nodded fiercely. "Go over to Sinnorre, find those seven keys, track down the guys responsible for this, take back Misty and Gardevoir, (assuming they're alive, that is) and make those jerks pay!" Pikachu nodded in agreement.

The mayor frowned. "Actually, I was going to suggest we destroy the map and let that be the end of this affair."

This was not what the duo had expected to hear. "What?!" Ash cried. "No way!"

"But Mayor, we can't let Misty and Gardevoir down! We need to go rescue them!" Pikachu insisted. "And keep this treasure and those key things out of evil hands! Weren't you listening to what the letter said?"

The Whiscash frowned at the duo. "I could ask you the same question. Gardevoir and Misty _specifically_ told you two _not _to come to their rescue, for fear that you'd suffer the same fate their companions did and put the map and, by proxy, the treasure it protects, into the clutches of those who seek it! If the map were to be destroyed, then there would be no risk whatsoever of its secrets being used for nefarious means!"

"No worries, the map can only be read by the pure of heart, remember?" Ash said unworriedly. "That means the bad guys, whoever the heck they are, can't use it! You know, 'cause they have evil hearts and all…"

The mayor sighed in exasperation. "Ash, think about this for a moment. Gardevoir could read it, right?"

"Yeah," said Ash, looking confused.

"And Misty too, presumably," Pikachu added.

"And _both_ of you can see it pretty clearly, can't you?" the mayor continued.

"Well, yeah," said Ash still not seeing where this was going. "Because I'm training to be an Aura Guardian."

Pikachu nodded in agreement. "And I'm learning how to be a samurai. Both positions require relatively pure hearts in their practitioners."

"Then that's at least _four_ people who can see the map pretty well, meaning they're relatively pure of heart," the mayor said. "And while I can't read it—due to my being a politician—think about this for a moment. Being purehearted is supposed to be a big deal and very rare. And yet, if there are three to four people we already know who are pure of heart and live in close proximity to each other, then how many more do you think there might be in the world? A dozen, a couple dozen, maybe more, maybe less? There could be hundreds, for all we know!" He frowned at the duo. "How hard do you think it would be for this mysterious organization to seek out and find someone who can use the map once they manage to secure it in their possession? Assuming, of course, that they don't just keep Gardevoir alive as a prisoner so that she can use the map for them, should they ever obtain it! After all, since she's the one who unlocked it in the first place, she would be the ideal subject for them to use to get what they want. I doubt they'd let her kill herself to keep that from happening, sad to say."

That actually gave Ash and Pikachu pause for a moment. But only for a moment, as Ash boldly soldiered onward. "No way, she'd never cooperate with them!"

"Not even if one of her friends' lives was being threatened? Like, say, Misty's, or your own, should you get captured in a foolhardy attempt to save her?" the mayor retorted.

"There's no way they'd take us alive! We could totally beat them!" Ash protested. "We've saved the world and fought tons of barbarians, these guys can't be much harder than that!"

The Whiscash stared at Ash as if he had grown a second head. "…Do you _ever _think things through, boy? Consider this. How strong are Gardevoir and Misty?"

Ash hesitated for a moment. "Well…pretty strong, I guess…"

"_Pretty_ strong?" the mayor cried incredulously. "Gardevoir's over a thousand years old and at least at level 100 by now, if not higher! And Misty…well, we all know how powerful she really is, and why."

That caused Ash and Pikachu to grimace, and the Mayor's features to sadden, as they both recalled Misty's somewhat tragic past…and the reason she had had to become so strong. "Okay," Ash said finally. "They're both powerful. So…what's your point?"

"My point is that they're both stronger than you are," the Mayor said flatly. "Or Gardevoir is, anyway. Now, think about that for a moment. These mysterious adversaries were somehow able to pursue and presumably capture—possibly even _kill_—Gardevoir in spite of her considerable strength and Misty's experience with rogues. If they could do _that_, how much of a chance do you think a pair of young Pokemon like yourselves, no matter how talented you currently are, would have, even if you _are_ the number three Rescue Team on the continent?"

The Mayor waited for that to sink in. "Oh," Ash said in a small voice.

"That…actually makes sense," Pikachu said slowly.

"But-but we can't just do _nothing!"_ Ash protested.

"Who says we need to?" the mayor retorted. "Think about it. If the map is destroyed, then the enemy has no chance of ever finding the keys to the treasure, so they can never claim its power for themselves, no matter how many purehearted people they manage to collect. The world will be safe. Our problem will be solved."

"They might still be able to find the keys even without the map," Pikachu pointed out. "Didn't Gardevoir's letter hint at that possibility?"

"It did," the Whiscash admitted. "But think about it. This treasure has apparently been buried underneath Treasure Town for ages, even longer than the town itself has been around…and the town was built several hundred years ago! It was old even _before_ the great disaster which nearly destroyed our world occurred! And yet, in all that time, as far as we know, _nobody_ has found the treasure until now, let alone the keys to unlock it. And remember, there are _seven_ keys, scattered all over the world. A person could search this planet for several lifetimes, and still not find what they're looking for, it's just that big a place. Even if someone, like this organization, were able to find one key, how likely is it that they would be able to find all of them, and then unlock this treasure, without the use of the map and a heart pure enough to read it? While it's possible that they could still do it, it would probably take them much longer to do so…and by then, somebody else, somebody stronger than the two of you, might be able to put up a powerful enough opposition to stop them."

"Then you're just suggesting we ignore a potential threat altogether?!" Ash asked incredulously. "Let the deaths of the supply team and the capture and possible killing of Misty and Gardevoir, and the danger these guys might pose to the whole world, go unanswered?!"

"At another time, I might have let you go with a strike force to do something about this," the mayor admitted. "But now's not really the best time…not with Team A.C.T. still missing in action, not with the barbarian hordes acting odder than usual, and not with the forces of the Monkey King practically on our doorstep!" He shook his head. "Considering the information you were able to obtain from that Rattata you rescued, I'm expecting an invasion and siege in a matter of weeks…and if that's the case, then we can't possibly spare _anyone_ who can defend the town. And since, right now, you two are the _strongest_ Rescue Team in Pokemon Square, that means we can't afford to lose your strength because you're on another continent on a quest for vengeance rather than helping to defend your home and the people you love!"

Ash and Pikachu flinched at that. "That's a low blow," Ash protested.

"But he has a point," Pikachu admitted reluctantly. "Ash, I want to save Misty and Gardevoir as much as you do, if they're alive…and make those who are responsible pay if they're dead…but the Mayor might be right. With Team A.C.T. missing, we _are_ the strongest team in Pokemon Square, and it's our responsibility to protect the town in case of emergencies…and it seems to me that we might indeed have one brewing on the horizon. We can't just abandon our duties…it's not in the code of the samurai, _or_ of the Aura Guardian."

"But…" Ash started, only to trail off reluctantly as he realized his friend was right. "But…but we can't just do _nothing_…I mean…" His shoulders sagged. "Can we?"

The mayor sighed and gave Ash a sympathetic look. "Ash, trust me when I say that if it weren't for the current crisis threatening our town, if we weren't facing yet another possible invasion from the barbarian hordes who seek to destroy us, I would do everything in my power to find out who was behind all this and make them pay for killing and/or abducting our people. But…sometimes, sacrifices have to be made. I know that, as a Rescue Team leader, this may sound harsh to you, but…you _can't_ save everyone. That's not how our world works." His whiskers drooped unhappily. "I wish it were otherwise, but…that's the situation we find ourselves in, time and time again."

"…Then what do we do?" Ash asked bleakly. "I can't accept that we can't go to Sinnorre and find out the truth. I just _can't_."

"Neither can I," the mayor agreed. "And I swear to you that, once this current threat is over, I'll send you and as many other Pokemon who wish to go over to Treasure Town and find out what really happened. But right now, I can't spare you, or anyone else! You're needed here more."

"But by the time we _can_ get over there, it'll probably be too late, Misty and Gardevoir might already be dead!" Ash protested. "If they aren't by now, I mean."

The mayor nodded sadly. "I know, Ash. Don't I know! But like I said, _we can't spare you_. Not now, anyway." He sighed. "At least their sacrifice will not have been in vain if we manage to destroy this map. Then nobody will be able to find the keys to the treasure, for good or for ill. Pikachu, if you would please draw your sword…"

"I would not recommend that," a calm, reedy voice interjected.

Ash and Pikachu turned around in surprise as an attractive bird Pokemon approached them. Most of her body was green, with long white wings folded in front of her to cover her chest. She had a long yellow beak and long red crest feathers, and eyes that looked as if they had seen—and were still seeing—into eternity. The mayor gasped in astonishment as he saw the visitor. "Sabrina?!" cried an astounded Ash. "What are _you_ doing here?!"

It was a fair question. Sabrina the Xatu was a reclusive Pokemon who lived on the Hill of the Ancients, refining her psychic powers and gazing into the timestream. She was a very powerful and well-renowned seer and wise woman, with the ability to read minds, see into the past and future, talk to spirits, and even tell a person's destiny. She had assisted Ash and Pikachu numerous times in the past, both in revealing Ash's true destiny as the human who would save the world, as well as helping teleport them to Sky Pillar, where Rayquaza lived. She rarely came into town because the mental 'chatter' coming from the minds of so many Pokemon living in close proximity often overwhelmed her sensitive mind, which was why most people had to go out to her hermitage on the Hill to seek her advice. For her to come into town of her own volition meant she must have seen something very important in one of her visions…or felt like shopping. It turned out to be the former. "I have had a premonition," the Xatu announced dramatically, spreading her wings to reveal the eerie eye-like designs on her chest that always gave Ash the creeps. "One concerning you, Ash and Pikachu…and, quite possibly, the fate of Pokemon Square and our dear planet." She gestured to the map Ash was holding. "All of it centers around that enchanted parchment which you received just now from your ill-fated friends."

Ash and Pikachu exchanged surprised glances. "Sabrina, what did you see in your premonition?" the mayor asked reverently. "What danger lies in Pokemon Square's future…and what can we do to avert it?"

Sabrina bowed her head. "I have seen that this town, the last bastion of civilization on the continent, will be besieged on two fronts. One is obvious, the barbarian hordes which are massing to destroy you. As always, they despise and envy you for the hope and virtues you represent, and seek to grind you into dust." She turned and paced to the edge of the platform, looking off into the distance…or perhaps into the future? "The other threat…is not so obvious. It is a power which seeks not only to destroy Pokemon Square, but the entire world."

"The guys who wanted this map and kidnapped Gardevoir and Misty, right?" Ash guessed. He wasn't the least bit surprised that Sabrina seemed to know all about the map and the evil force which wanted it despite this being the first time she had seen it; she was a seer, after all.

Sabrina nodded as she turned back to them. "Precisely! However, there is more to them than you can possibly know. Their leader is our planet's greatest adversary. He has sought to destroy this world and all life on it for centuries. His shadow is long and dark, and all which it falls upon is cast into oblivion."

"Sounds pretty bad," Ash commented.

Pikachu nodded. "Especially with an ominous but vague description like that."

The Whiscash in the pond furrowed his brow in contemplation as he heard this. He gasped, and his eyes widened in astonishment as a possibility occurred to him. "You can't mean…_him?!_"

Sabrina tilted her head. "I am not certain, but it very well might be. It would make sense, after all."

The Mayor frowned, his whiskers twitching in agitation. Ash and Pikachu shot him confused glances, but he didn't meet their eyes. "If that's true, then this…changes things. What would you have us do, Sabrina?"

Sabrina looked at the map Ash was still holding. "Our enemy seeks the map, because it will lead him to the power which he desires. He abducted Gardevoir in hopes that she could read it for him, but did not anticipate that she would send the map away before his men could capture her."

"Then she's still alive?" Pikachu asked.

"And Misty too?" Ash inquired hopefully.

Sabrina nodded. "Yes, they are still alive…for now. But that might change if something is not done to save them."

"If the enemy wants the map, then shouldn't we destroy it?" the Mayor asked tentatively. "Or at least keep it here in Pokemon Square, where he cannot reach it?"

Sabrina shook her head. "The map cannot be destroyed. The magic in it is too powerful to allow that to happen. And as for keeping it here…" She folded her wings briefly over her chest, and then unfolded them agaim. "If the barbarians should invade this town, then the map will most assuredly fall into _his_ hands."

The mayor started. "You mean _he_ is behind the recent barbarian activity?!" Sabrina nodded. "Oh my…now everything is beginning to make all too much sense…"

"Not to us," Pikachu complained.

"I don't suppose anyone feels like telling us who this _him _guy you're all so afraid of is?" Ash grumbled.

The mayor grimaced. "It's a secret the mayors of this town have been guarding for centuries, but…essentially, _he_ is the one responsible for the great disaster which almost destroyed the world ages ago and wiped out mankind. Contrary to popular belief, while most of the damage he caused was reversed, he managed to escape justice and is still very much alive and plotting the destruction of our world. He has tried countless times since that day to finish what he started…but thankfully, he has failed every time…so far." He grimaced. "And now it seems as if he is making yet another attempt to kill us all…"

"The mastermind responsible for the destruction of all humanity is still alive?!" asked the startled Pikachu. "How has he continued to exist for all these years?"

The mayor shrugged. "Some Pokemon can live for a very long time. That is, of course, assuming that the being we're talking about _is_ a Pokemon, and not something…_else…_" He raised his whiskers in a shrug. "And we could be wrong, it might not be him after all, and just turn out to be some other megalomaniac bent on world domination. Still, he _is_ the most likely suspect…" He frowned, noticing a strange expression on Ash's face. "Ash, is something wrong?"

"Huh? No, I'm fine," Ash said quickly, shaking himself off. Why had he felt a weird shiver go down his spine when he learned that their enemy might be the same guy who almost destroyed the world and made the human race extinct centuries ago? His mind snapped back into focus, suddenly noticing what had sounded an awful lot like an error in Sabrina's statement. "Wait, did you just say that if the barbarians invaded, they would get the map? But I thought the Shield Wall would keep that from happening! So how would they get in here to get the map for that guy in the first place?"

Sabrina bowed her head in sorrow. "Because…at some point in the near future, the Shield Wall is going to fail at a critical moment, allowing the barbarians to directly attack Pokemon Square."

They gasped. "What?! But that's impossible! Isn't it?" Pikachu asked the mayor.

He looked uncertain. "_Theoretically_ it is, but…all things are possible. Sabrina, could you please elaborate? What will cause the Shield Wall to fail?"

The Xatu shook her head in apology. "While my gift of future sight allows me to learn some details about events before they happen, they do not always provide me with the context or information I need to interpret what I see in my visions. I do not know how, when, or why the Wall will fail, I only know that it will. And when that happens, if you are not ready for it, Pokemon Square will be completely destroyed. Every strong adult male will be killed. The females will be raped, murdered, or taken into slavery, as will the children. The last vestiges of peace and freedom on this continent will die out, and utter savagery, madness, and barbarism will descend upon Kanjohenn. All will suffer at the hands of the despots who will come to power." There was a pause. "I have seen what could be my own death, if such an event were to occur. It would be…horrible."

Everyone was silent for a moment, as they contemplated the enormity of the tragedy Sabrina was describing. "What can we do to prevent such an atrocity from occurring?" the mayor asked quietly, his voice low.

Sabrina turned to look at the mayor. "First, you must withdraw all Rescue Teams and warriors out in the field. You will need every Pokemon available to defend your city from the impending attack. I do not know who will lead this attack, or when it will come, but I know for a fact that it is coming, and soon."

Ash's ears perked up at this. "Then does that mean Team A.C.T. will be coming back, too?" he asked hopefully. He wanted to defend the town, yes, but if the stronger team were to return, that might mean he and Pikachu could go to Sinnorre and take on this evil mastermind directly.

"Actually…" the mayor said uneasily. "I don't know where they are."

Ash and Pikachu started at this. "WHAT?!"

"But I thought they were on a secret mission for you!" said the alarmed Pikachu.

"They are, or at least, they were," the mayor said defensively. "They're in deep cover, but have managed to send me regular reports every now and then. However, it's been two weeks since their last report came in. It could mean they're just in a spot of trouble, or it could mean something…worse." Pikachu and Ash gave each other alarmed looks at this.

"Allen will be returning shortly," Sabrina informed them, causing them all to sigh in relief. "But I am uncertain as to when, or in what condition he will be when he arrives."

"That's good…" said Pikachu.

"But wait, just Allen? What about Charlie and T-Bone?" Ash pressed.

Sabrina shrugged apologetically. "Like I said, I do not always understand or see everything in my visions. They might be all right, and will return later. Or they might be dead. Until I have another premonition, I cannot predict their fates for certain. I _can,_ however," she said when they gave her frustrated looks. "Tell you one thing that _is_ certain. Aaron is coming home."

All of their eyes widened at this. "Aaron?!" cried an astonished Ash. "Aaron, as in the famous Lucario Rescue Team Leader, last of the Aura Guardians?!"

"And your idol, even though you've never met him," added an equally amazed Pikachu.

"Aaron is returning…" whispered the awestruck Mayor. "After being gone for over a decade, he's finally coming back to Pokemon Square?! You are certain of this?"

Sabrina nodded. "As an Aura master, he too is in touch with the currents of fate. He will realize his hometown, and the entire world, are in jeopardy, and will shortly leave his self-imposed exile to help the people and place he loves from being destroyed by the gravest threat to their safety yet."

"Incredible…" the mayor whispered.

"This is _so_ cool!" Ash cried. "Maybe Aaron could train me and show me more about how to use my Aura powers! And help me remember more about the world I came from…"

"And maybe I could get his autograph," Pikachu commented. Everyone stared at him. "What? I've always wanted it…doesn't everyone?"

"I am afraid you will have to wait on both of those," Sabrina said apologetically. "Because by the time Aaron arrives, you will be long gone."

They gave her a confused look. "We will be?" asked an utterly perplexed Ash.

"Where are we going?" asked Pikachu.

"To Sinnorre, of course," Sabrina said, as if it were obvious. "To locate the seven keys to the gateway beneath Treasure Town so that you may protect them from the fiend who craves them, and manage to liberate your friends from his clutches."

"Then we're going after all? Awesome!" Ash cheered, high-fiving Pikachu.

"Now wait a minute!" the mayor protested. "Haven't we already been over this? If you go there, you'll be playing right into his hands and as good as _giving_ him the map! Not to mention that, if we've got a big barbarian attack coming up and an imminent failure of the Shield Wall in the near future, we can't afford to lose a single fighter going off on some quest!"

Ash and Pikachu paused. "He said that before, and it still makes too much sense…" Pikachu murmured.

"Sabrina, how can we go off if doing so might jeopardize the city?" Ash asked Sabrina.

"Your presence here might indeed make it more likely for us to win the coming battle," Sabrina admitted. "But you are needed in Sinnorre more. Even without the map in his possession, our foe has already obtained one of the seven keys, and he is very close to finding two more. If he is able to get them, there is a possibility that he could figure out where the other four are hidden, and if he does…"

"He'd be able to get the dangerous sealed treasure," Pikachu concluded.

"So we just have to get the remaining keys before he does, right?" Ash asked. "Then we'll go after him to get the last key, to save Misty and Gardevoir, and to put him out of business permanently!"

Sabrina nodded. "That is the idea, yes."

"Easier said than done…" the mayor grumbled. "Sabrina, are you certain that this is the right thing to do? To send them off to unfamiliar and dangerous lands when we need them here?"

"I have foreseen that if they do not go, many lives will be lost in our enemy's ruthless quest to obtain the seven keys," Sabrina explained. "And if he were able to obtain them all, it could very well mean the end of the world and all life as we know it. As a Rescue Team, they cannot stand by and do nothing when innocent lives, and indeed the entire world, could be saved by their intervention." She glanced at Ash and Pikachu. "And in any event, they have to go. They're the only ones who can do it."

"Because it's our destiny?" Pikachu ventured.

"That, and because you're the only other people in Pokemon Square who can read the map with no problems who can be spared from defending the town, now that some of the stronger Rescue Team members are coming back," Sabrina said.

The duo facefaulted. "Should I be insulted or grateful?" a confused Ash asked Pikachu, who shrugged.

The mayor muttered to himself for a moment, deep in thought. After some deliberation, he looked up at the land-dwelling Pokemon and nodded. "Very well. I'm still not entirely sure this is the best course of action, but Sabrina has made it clear that time is of the essence and that the two of you might, indeed, be better off doing this now rather than later. I'd send some backup with you, but considering that we're apparently going to be invaded shortly and the Shield Wall's going to drop, I'm afraid we'll need every fighter we can get. I wouldn't even let you two go if it weren't on Sabrina's say-so."

Pikachu now looked a little concerned. "Do you think that the two of us would be able to take care of this all by ourselves?"

"We've taken on plenty of tough missions all by ourselves, with and without a third party member," Ash pointed out. "And we've even saved the world once already. I think we can handle this."

Pikachu frowned. "Yes, but all those previous times, we had help from people we knew here. In Sinnorre, we don't know anyone. It'll be totally new territory for us. Not to mention we're going to have to apparently go up against an enemy who's been around since before the great disaster—and was responsible for it, no less—and seems to have an organization of some power and influence under his control, one that might be a lot more ordered and dangerous than your average barbarian horde…which he's apparently backing too, making him even _more_ dangerous!"

"Do not fear," Sabrina told the brothers. "You will find many allies on your journey who will help you on your way. Some will travel with you, others will not, but all will be vital to your success in this quest."

"Oh, well, that's okay then," Pikachu said, mollified.

Ash examined Gardevoir's letter again. "We should probably go see this Oak guy first," he decided. "Gardevoir said we should look him up if we decided to come looking for her, despite her warning. Maybe he can tell us more about what we're up against."

"And possibly how to use this map?" Pikachu asked, tugging the magical parchment out of Ash's hands and looking at it himself. "I don't suppose you have any idea on how this thing works, do you Sabrina?"

Sabrina took a look at the map. "It is a true masterwork of magic, with layer upon layer of spells of protection and encryption on it," she said after a moment. "Not only is it crafted so that only the pure of heart can perceive and read it, it is also designed in such a way so that it will indicate the location of only one of the seven keys at a time, so as to better protect them. That way, if one who seeks the keys is captured by an enemy while on their quest, the foe will only be able to learn the locations of the keys the seeker has already been to, or the one he or she was on their way to collect. Finding a key will cause the map to reveal the way to the next one, and that key will lead to the one after that, and so on and so forth until you have them all."

"Neat," said Ash. "So…where's our first stop? There are two blinking spots on there."

"I can't see it," the mayor lamented. "But if you could show me where those spots were on a non-magical map of Sinnorre, I might be able to tell you where you need to go."

"Okay, but where are we going to get a map of Sinnorre at this time of-" Ash was interrupted when Sabrina produced one. He stared at her blankly. "Why were you carrying that around?"

"She's a seer," Pikachu reminded him. "She knew we'd need it, so she brought it with her to come see us."

Sabrina nodded. "Precisely."

They laid out the non-magical map on the edge of the platform. The mayor heaved himself partway out of the water so that he could take a better look at it. Ash indicated two points on the non-magical map which corresponded with the flashing areas on his enchanted map. "Well, the first spot is none other than Treasure Town," the mayor reported. "It's probably blinking on your map to indicate that's where the treasure is located. But the other spot…hmm, let's see now…" He examined the non-magical map for a moment. "Well, that looks to be somewhere in the vicinity of Green Meadow. I do believe there's a small village called Turtle Town thereabouts…but that's about all I know. It must be the location of one of the keys!"

"So a bunch of turtle Pokemon might have the first key?" Ash speculated.

"Or second, if you count the one the bad guys already have," Pikachu pointed out.

"Then I guess Turtle Town is where we're going to go," Ash decided. "After we go to Treasure Town and find out more about this from that Professor Oak guy." He paused. "Uh, one problem. How do we get there?"

"You let me take care of that," the Mayor assured the brothers. "I believe a pod of Wailord is passing through the area on their yearly migration. Wailord are friendly types, it should be easy to convince one of them to take you boys where you need to go, especially since Pokemon Square has always had good relations with the cetaceans of the world. I'll make arrangements for transport. You two start getting supplies and saying goodbyes and doing everything you need to get ready to go to a new continent."

Ash nodded. "Yeah, this'll definitely be bigger than your average rescue mission…I mean, a whole other continent! Wow!"

"Well, it's not as if nobody's never _been_ there before," Pikachu corrected Ash. "But we never have, so I suppose it's new to us. We'll need to make sure to pack well, no telling what sorts of things we're going to run into there." He glanced at Sabrina. "Unless there's anything else you can tell us?"

She shook her head. "I have told you everything I know at the moment. I cannot say more until I have another vision." She spread her wings wide in a dramatic fashion. "Ash, Pikachu…all of us are counting on you. The fate of the world rests on your shoulders."

"Again?" Ash asked pedantically.

"Yes, again," she replied curtly. "May Arceus be with you." She stood there with her wings outstretched for another few minutes. They stared at her, waiting for her to say something else. Instead, she abruptly folded her wings shut and aimlessly wandered off, either to return to her Hill or, more likely, to go do some shopping.

After a moment of awkward silence, the Mayor coughed and got them back on track. "Uh, right…well, I suppose the two of you had better start packing, then. I'll begin making travel arrangements. Good luck and Arceusspeed, because you'll certainly need it where you're going." He dove beneath the surface of his pond and vanished. Ash and Pikachu looked at the ripples spreading across the water where the regal Whiscash had vanished for a moment. He didn't come back up.

"Where do you think he goes when he does that?" Ash asked Pikachu as they left the pond and entered the town's main plaza.

"I hear there's a huge network of underwater tunnels leading off from his pond to the sea, places all over town, and even elsewhere in the continent," Pikachu said.

Ash frowned. "I hope it's not connected at all to our sewage system. That would be kind of…gross…"

Pikachu grimaced. "Yeah…"

Ash changed the subject. "So, we've got to start preparing for a big adventure to another continent. Where should we start? The Kecleon Brothers'?"

"Home," said Pikachu.

Ash frowned. "Home? Why?"

Pikachu glanced up at his partner and adopted brother. "I want to tell Mother and Father about what we're going to do firsthand, rather than let them hear it from somebody else. It's always important to obtain a parents' blessings prior to an important journey."

"Oh…" Ash frowned in thought. "That's a good point. You know, I think I'm going to go pay a visit to the Dojo and tell Chuck the same thing. We had a few sessions lined up this week, so it would probably be more polite if I told him I'll have to cancel in person. I might as well get some of the supplies we'll need while I'm at it, since I'll be out."

Pikachu nodded. "Very well. I guess I'll see you later, then?"

Ash nodded back. "Yeah, but not _too_ much later. Tell Mom not to start dinner without me, okay?"

Pikachu chuckled. "No problem. See you in a couple of hours, brother."

"You too," Ash said as he and Pikachu parted ways for the time being. "Brother."

…

Ash crouched down and slid forward quickly as the twin buzzsaws spun forward along their wall tracks towards him, only the hairs atop his long ears getting cut off rather than his entire head. As he slid past the saws, his ears twitched as he heard a faint click, and he somersaulted forward just in time to avoid a huge stone pillar which shot down from the ceiling, slamming down on the spot where he had just been standing. He leaped forward as the ground he had landed on collapsed beneath his weight and started hopping across a series of platforms suspended above a boiling lake of molten metal. Each platform collapsed less than half a second after (in some cases, _before_) he landed on them, and each platform was rigged to a booby-trap which either fired darts, dropped stone pillars, or blasted jets of fire at him as he touched down on them.

And he did all this blindfolded, no less.

He landed on the far edge of the molten lake and immediately jumped up to keep from being crushed by the two spiked logs which slammed together where he had just been standing, flipping off of them and grabbing hold of a pole spread horizontally across the gaping spike-filled chasm yawning before him. There were several such poles scattered across the expanse before them, all of them moving back and forth on vertical and horizontal tracks. He had to make carefully timed leaps to jump from pole to pole so that not only would he avoid falling into the spikes below, but also dodge the huge flaming spiked logs swinging like pendulums in the spaces between poles.

After making it across the chasm, he had to scale a vertical shaft by making wall-jumps up the sides. His progress was not helped by the fact that the walls of the shaft were slowly closing in on each other and spiked balls occasionally dropped down on his head from higher up. Despite all this, he persevered, as he had so many times before. He was able to traverse this fierce gauntlet not out of memory, for the layout of the obstacles was different every time he went through it. He did not traverse it through the use of heightened senses either, for he was constantly bombarded with unfamiliar sounds and smells designed to keep his hearing and smelling abilities off-balance. No, he was able to get through this thanks to the sole use of his Aura-sight, which let him 'see' everything going on around him without physically 'seeing' it, allowing him to anticipate every threat on his life before it happened, predict and evade every danger, and navigate the ever-changing labyrinth around him without getting killed or grievously wounded.

And that was the purpose of this obstacle course, of course. To increase his proficiency in Aura-sight, and make him a better fighter. And, seeing how well he was doing on this current run, he thought he was getting to be pretty good, too.

Of course, he wasn't finished just yet. There was still one final test to go through before he was done…

After crossing a minefield while balancing on top of a giant metal sphere, flipping through a moving laser web, and crossing a zigzagging tightrope stretched across a pit of rabid Bidoof while avoiding arrows fired from the walls and giant maces swinging from the ceiling, Ash made it to the final challenge: a chalk circle with a short and pudgy Makuhita standing in the middle, holding a Bo staff. There was no banter or pretense between the two warriors; the instant Ash stepped into the ring, the Makuhita attacked, thrusting his staff forward at Ash's gut.

Ash, sensing the staff coming at him through the use of Aura-sight, hopped over the strike and landed on top of the weapon just long enough to bounce off and soar high into the air. As he reached the arc of his jump, he clenched his fists and pressed them together before pulling them apart, causing a long blue energy stick which, for some reason, looked like a bone, to form in his hands. He brought the energy bone down on the Makuhita in an overhead swing as he descended; the Makuhita immediately bringing up his own staff to block Ash, repelling him and causing him to flip over the yellow Guts Pokemon's head and land on the ground behind him. Ash immediately lashed out with a Low Kick before he had even hit the ground, but the Makuhita blocked that with a thrust of his staff over his shoulder, spinning about and shoving his free arm forward with an Arm Thrust at Ash's chest. Ash let go of his bone stick with one hand and thrusted that hand forward with a Force Palm, the crackling blue Aura power in his hand colliding with the Makuhita's mitt in a small explosion which pushed both combatants back.

Ash skidded to a halt only centimeters away from the edge of the circle. He quickly stepped away from it, knowing if he crossed the border, then it was all over. Seeing that the Makuhita was still recovering from the explosion, Ash grabbed his bone stick again and compressed it, shortening and condensing its energy mass into a smaller, thicker weapon, which he then hurled at the smaller Pokemon like a boomerang, or rather, a Bonemerang. The Makuhita immediately deflected the projectile attack, but it distracted him for a split-second and opened up his guard just long enough for Ash to streak forward and deliver a powerful blow to the Guts Pokemon's chest…

Which did absolutely nothing, thanks to the thick layers of fat which covered the Makuhita's body. As Ash's punch sank ineffectually into the Makuhita's chest and rebounded, pushing him back, the Guts Pokemon brought his staff down on Ash's head. Ash reflexively blocked it with one arm and fended off the Arm Thrust aimed at his gut with his other arm. He tried to knock the Makuhita off his feet with a leg sweep, but the Guts Pokemon drove his staff into the ground and used it to push himself off the floor, both avoiding Ash's sweep and putting him in a prime position to spin around his staff and kick Ash in the face. The Lucario bent over backwards to avoid the blow, the Guts Pokemon's feet passing only inches from his face. While in this nearly horizontal state, he placed his hands on the ground to balance himself then kicked outward with his feet, snapping the Makuhita's staff in two and causing the fat yellow Pokemon to tumble to the ground. Unfortunately, the Makuhita was able to take advantage of his fall by landing on his hands and pushing off the ground just before Ash could strike him, hurling himself back into the air, even higher than before, so that he could hit the ground hard enough to create an Earthquake.

Sensing the seismic attack only seconds before it could hit him, Ash leaped off the ground just as the earth rippled underneath his feet. Sending Aura to his hands and causing the blue flames which burned there to become brighter, he began hurling a volley of Aura Spheres at the Makuhita. Showing a surprising amount of agility for one so short and heavy, the Makuhita dodged and flipped away from each sphere…not noticing that in doing so he was getting closer and closer to the edge of the ring.

Ash knew that was his moment to strike and end this. Focusing all his Aura into his feet, he streaked down towards the Makuhita with an impressive slicer kick, blue flames blazing on his heels. The Makuhita quickly crossed his arms over his chest to block the attack…and was surprised that, although his block did indeed protect him from the kick, the force of Ash's strike pushed him back a few centimeters…just enough so that the tip of his right heel touched the ground just outside the boundaries of the ring.

Ash smirked and quickly backflipped away from the Makuhita, landing neatly on his no-longer-burning feet. He whipped off his blindfold. "Ha! I win!"

"Huh?" The Makuhita glanced down at his feet and saw that he had indeed stepped out of the ring. "Oho…so you have! Well done, my student!"

He gave Ash a formal bow of respect. Ash smiled and bowed right back. "Thank you, Sensei. I had a good teacher."

The Makuhita, also known as Chuck, chuckled and clapped his hands together once, twice, three times. The obstacle course around them shimmered and faded away as the VR training program shut down, leaving Ash and Chuck right where they had started, where they had always been in fact; the Guts Pokemon's Dojo.

The Dojo looked like most other dojos around the world; the floor was covered in mats to keep students from getting bruised too badly when they were knocked off their feet, training equipment and weapons were kept in storage cabinets and racks along the wall, and an impressive number of medals, belts, cups, and trophies from dozens of martial arts tournaments were displayed in an unbreakable case along the back wall near the entrance to Chuck's office and living space. A number of framed photographs also hung from the wall, showing Chuck in his youth, as well as several of his most promising students. He had trained many Pokemon throughout his long career, and most of them had gone on to be successful warriors and Rescue Teams, or at least pro fighters. Chuck himself had been a powerful warrior and martial artist in his youth, and his name was still spoken of highly among circles of fighting enthusiasts the world over.

His Dojo was stocked with equipment that could be used to train just about any kind of Pokemon to become stronger, along with his pride and joy, an ultra-rare (and expensive) virtual reality system that he used to transport his students into artificial environments and obstacle courses that could be used to better hone their natural abilities and fighting techniques. Ash had just beaten one such course, one of the toughest Chuck had ever crafted. Needless to say, the teacher was rather proud of his student.

"You have gained considerable control and grown stronger in you Aura since our last session, Ash." The Guts Pokemon chuckled. "The last time you tried that move on me, you couldn't move me an inch! Well done, Ash, well done!"

Ash smiled and bowed his head respectfully. "Thank you, Sensei. I have indeed been training on my own to increase the power of my Aura. However…" He sighed. "I still have so much to learn! I wish I could study at least for a little while with Aaron when he returns, I'm sure he could teach me things about Aura I could never even imagine! If only I didn't have to leave so soon, before he even got here!"

Chuck frowned. "You are that unconfident in your abilities? Even after all your training and hard work?"

"It's not that," Ash said quickly. "You've been a great teacher, and I've learned a lot from you! It's just that…I can _feel_ there's so much more to Aura than what you've shown me and what I've figured out on my own. I might be going into the fight of my life when Pikachu and I get to Sinnorre, and I bet I'd do a lot better when that fight comes if I knew more about how to use Aura than I do now."

An unreadable expression crossed Chuck's face. "…Ash, wait here just a second." Without waiting for a reply, he walked into his office. Ash blinked in confusion. A minute later, the Guts Pokemon returned with a book in his hands. He handed it to Ash. "Here," he said. "I think this'll help."

Ash's brow furrowed as he examined the book. It was an ancient hardcover tome with the musty scent of ages emanating from it…along with something else. The book itself was rather plain and unadorned, but that 'something else' and the title told Ash at once that this book was incredibly valuable. "'Secrets…of an Aura Master?!'" he cried in disbelief, reading the faded silver letters inscribed on the cover.

Chuck nodded. "That book is an ancient keepsake of the legendary Aura Guardians, predating the cataclysm which wiped out humanity and dating all the way back to the first golden age where humans and Pokemon worked together in harmony. It was compiled over time by great Aura Masters throughout history who sought to put down what they had learned about their power and art so that future generations could learn from it. The book has been passed down the Aura bloodlines for centuries, and Aaron the Lucario was its last owner. Before he left on his journey of self-discovery, he entrusted it to me, telling me that one day a new Aura user would come to study under me, and when that time came the Aura user would need this book to further enhance his powers."

Ash looked up from the book, shooting Chuck an accusatory glare. "Why didn't you give this to me sooner?!"

"Because when I first met you, you weren't ready," the Dojo master said plainly. "You had not yet gained sufficient mastery over your Aura to make use of the book's teachings. But now…"

"I have?" Ash guessed.

Chuck nodded. "Well, that, and you're embarking on what could be the most dangerous mission of your life. Even if you're not ready, that book will still be able to teach you more about Aura and what can be done with it than I, or even Aaron, could ever do."

Ash nodded slowly, eyes wide as he slowly brought his gaze back down on the book. "I see…thank you, Sensei." With trembling fingers, he gently flipped the book open, reverently turning the pages to examine the secrets within…and frowned, glancing up at Chuck with a confused expression on his face. "It's blank!" Before Chuck could say anything, Ash gasped, a look of realization crossing his features. "Oh, I get it! It's supposed to be a metaphor, telling me that there is no one secret that can be taught to make you an Aura Master, and that everything I need to become one is inside me?"

Chuck stared at Ash incredulously. "What? No, of course not, don't be ridiculous, It's written in invisible ink!"

Ash flushed in embarrassment. "Oh. Right." He looked down at the apparently blank pages again. "So…if it's invisible, how am I supposed to read it?"

Chuck chuckled. "You're looking at it with the wrong eyes."

"Oh! Of course…" Ash shut his physical eyes and looked at the book with his Aura-sight. Immediately he could tell the difference; the 'something' he had felt emanating from the book manifested itself as a truly spectacular aura surrounding the tome, shimmering in all the colors of the rainbow. The pages, which had seemed utterly blank just moments ago, were now crammed from margin to margin with diagrams and text which glowed in a soft blue light. He eagerly paged through the book, taking in the histories of some of the greatest Aura Guardians of all time, treatises on what exactly Aura was and its many different characteristics, descriptions of ways to channel Aura throughout the body to increase the power of a certain limb or organ, techniques which could be used to manipulate the Auras of others and change them and oneself on a fundamental level, and detailed diagrams showing the patterns in which Aura flowed throughout the human and Pokemon body and pointed out where each pressure point and chakra was located as well as what could be done to best optimize their energy production. "This is…incredible…" He glanced up at Chuck, tears welling up through his closed eyelids. "Sensei…thank you. Thank you so much. This is more than I had ever _dreamed_ of…"

Chuck nodded, a pleased expression on his face. "Are you satisfied then, young Ash?"

"More then!" Ash said joyfully. "I mean, it'll take a while to read through and understand everything it talks about here, but…yes, thank you, thank you!" He paused, an uncertain look on his face. "But…do you think Aaron will be okay with me taking it to Sinnorre? He might need it to help him defend Pokemon Square…"

Chuck shook his head. "Aaron learned everything he needed to from that book long ago. He specifically told me to give it to someone who truly needed it…and that someone is you, Ash. I'm sure he'd be proud that a fine young Pokemon like you became the next custodian of its secrets."

"I'll take good care of this book, I promise," Ash vowed.

Chuck nodded. "I know you will, Ash, I know you will. You never break a promise, not if you can help it." He gestured towards the Dojo's exit. "Now, Ash…it is time for you to go. I have no more to teach you, you have learned everything I had to offer. Now it is time for you to put what you have learned to work in the journey which lies ahead of you. The path will be hard, but I know that you can do it. I have faith in you."

Ash bowed to the Dojo master. "Thank you, Sensei. I won't let you down. I'll make you proud of me."

Chuck smirked and shook his head in bemusement. "Not to sound cliché, but…you already have, Ash. You already have."

…

After leaving the Dojo, Ash headed for home in a roundabout manner, the book he had just received tucked securely under one arm. He was dying to race back to the house where he lived with Pikachu and his family to show his brother the precious gift Chuck had given him, but restrained himself, knowing the responsible thing to do would be to at least get some token shopping and preparations for the trip done first. After all, as Chuck and the mayor had both pointed out, he was about to embark on a big journey, and it was never a good idea to do such a thing without having the proper supplies beforehand.

So, that's exactly what he did. He stopped at Mr. Giovanni's bank to withdraw a significant amount of Poke', went to Mrs. Kangaskhan's to pick up a number of items that she had been holding in storage for Team Aurabolt, and then headed over to the Kecleon Brothers' and started buying and selling goods, exchanging some of the valuables and spoils he and Pikachu had picked up during their tenure as a Rescue Team for cold hard cash and vital supplies such as food, medicine, and an item or two which would probably help out in a pinch.

Once that was taken care of, he started for Team Aurabolt HQ to drop his new purchases off before meeting Pikachu at home when he found himself accosted by six very anxious friends of his who had heard about the very important mission he and Pikachu were about to embark on thanks to the town's expansive and very fast gossip network and were desperate to find out more details from the source. These friends also had a rather personal stake in the mission, since the people Ash and Pikachu intended to rescue were very dear to them…

"Ash, Ash! Is it true?! Is it true?!" a very beautiful (and rather dim-witted) Flareon named Lily cried, startling Ash and nearly causing him to lose his grip on all the bags and boxes of stuff he had just gotten at the Kecleon Brothers'.

"Ack! Uh, is what true?" he asked after he managed to regain his balance as well as his hold on his purchases.

"Like, my hair stylist heard from her sister who heard from her boyfriend who heard from his uncle who heard from his boss who heard from his mother who heard from her cousin who heard from his coworker's sibling who's in a Rescue Team who heard from one of Nurse Joy's children who heard from Scotty who heard from an Internet rumor which was originated by a computer geek with nothing better to do who heard from his roommate who heard from the mail-Pelipper who accidentally read a letter to a Wailord from the Mayor which said that my little sister and that thousand-year-old but still surprisingly pretty though not as pretty as us Gardevoir have been captured by, like, a bunch of bad guys and you and Pikachu are, like, going on a mission to rescue them and, like, save the world?" asked an equally beautiful (and equally dim-witted) Jolteon named Daisy in one breath.

Ash went cross-eyed for a moment trying to decipher what the incredibly ditzy Lightning Pokemon had just said. "Uh…yes?" he said cautiously, not entirely positive which question he was answering. The Jolteon gasped and burst into tears. Ash cringed, certain he had given the wrong answer.

"This is just what we were afraid of," a Glaceon as beautiful and brainless as the other two Eeveelutions named Violet said softly while the Flareon comforted her sister. "This is the second time Misty's been taken from us…it was a miracle that she came back to us on her own the first time, but now…"

Ash's sympathies went out to the three girls. They were Misty's older, more attractive, and less intelligent sisters. They were rather ditzy and often acted selfishly without meaning to, which pissed their younger (and much stronger, since she took training more seriously than beautifying herself like her siblings did) sister off to no end, but they really did care for Misty and their hearts were in the right place. Some of the time. "Don't worry," Ash said quickly, rearranging the bags and boxes in his arms so he could look at the Glaceon's face. "Pikachu and I will bring her back safe and sound. You know we'll do everything in our power to get her back where she belongs!"

Violet smiled gratefully. "Thank you, Ash…"

"Yeah, well, that's no big surprise," Mary the Medicham grumbled, rolling her eyes. "_Everyone_ knows you have the hots for Misty…"

Ash's face turned bright red. "I do _not!_" he protested.

"But what about Gardevoir?" Mary's partner and Ash's former rival, Gary the Gengar, asked anxiously. "You're going to rescue her too, right?"

"Yeah, becaussse if you don't, the Bosss here will ssstart crying," Evan the Ekans warned Ash. "And I don't think anyone here wantsss to sssee that."

Gary flushed with anger and…something else. "H-hey, stop that!" he snapped. "I'm just worried about her, okay?! There's nothing wrong with being concerned for a friend!"

Ash smirked at his ex-rival's humiliation, though he knew he shouldn't have. When he and Gary had first met, they hadn't exactly hit it off, and Teams Aurabolt and Meanies (who the heck came up with that stupid name, anyway?) had competed against each other for a while. Their sour relationship had worsened when Gary turned the whole town against Ash by convincing everyone that Ash was the reincarnated human from the Ninetales legend who was prophesized to destroy the world, not letting anyone know that _he_ was said human all along. (Though he never actually _did_ destroy the world…it was unclear if his rebirth had caused the natural disasters occurring around the same time, or if his arrival signified that said disasters were going to occur; the prophecy about that had been sort of vague, as prophecies usually were.) After the whole incident was over and Ash's name was cleared, Gary had swallowed his pride and come to Ash for help in breaking Gardevoir's curse, feeling guilty for being the one responsible for her being condemned in the first place over a thousand years ago. Armed with a 9-Tail Crest granted to them by the Ninetales of legend, they ventured into the mysterious depths of Murky Cave and broke the curse separating Gardevoir from her body, allowing her to come to life once more. The two former humans bonded pretty well while going through the cave, and by the time they returned to town they had made up and decided to become friends. Team Meanies changed its name to Team Nightshade, which sounded cooler, and while the two teams continued to compete against each other, there was no malice in their hearts, like there had been before. They had become good friends, rather than enemies.

Ash privately thought that part of the reason for Gary's change of heart might have been Gardevoir herself. While she didn't remember Gary being her trainer at all in a past life, she still felt very close to him, and Gary strived to better himself in her eyes since he didn't want her to find him wanting or inadequate as a friend. It was clear to everyone that Gary had fallen madly in love with Gardevoir, but due to her innocence she was, rather naturally, completely oblivious to his affections and just thought he was being nice to her. Rather ironically, Gary was equally oblivious to the fact that his other best friend Mary also had a major crush on him. Typical thick-headed male. (It was even more ironic that Ash was thinking this, seeing as how he continuously failed to notice or acknowledge the fact that he and Misty shared a mutual affection for each other.)

"So, anyway," Gary said, turning his attention back to his ex-rival. "Ash…I want you to take me with you! Let me come with you to Sinnorre!"

Ash was so surprised by this that he almost dropped his purchases…again. "Huh?! You want to come with us?"

"I have to!" Gary cried. "I can't just stay here and wait for you to come back! Gardevoir's in serious trouble and I can't possibly rest easy with the knowledge that at this very moment she could be languishing in some cold, dark dungeon, suffering at the whims of her heartless captors! She _needs_ my—er, _our_—help! You can't just leave me out of this, Ash, she's my friend too!"

"Yeah, your _girl_friend," Evans joked. Mary's eye twitched.

"Shut up!" Gary hissed at the giggling Ekans, smacking him with one of his claws and shutting him up. As the smarting Evan glared at him, Gary laughed nervously and turned back to Ash. "Uh, you won't tell her I did that, will you?" Everyone rolled their eyes.

"Gary, I understand your concerns, but…I'm afraid we can't let you come with us," Ash told the Gengar apologetically.

"What?! Why not?!" Gary demanded.

"Because you're needed here more," Ash said honestly, giving Gary the same answer he intended to give to any of his other friends and sometimes-teammates if they should ask to come with him and Pikachu too. "If you've heard about what Pikachu and I are doing, then you also have to know by now that Sabrina told us there's going to be a big barbarian attack on the city in the near future…and, for whatever reason, the Shield Wall is going to fail during that attack."

"I never heard anything about that," said an alarmed Lily.

"Like, I did," said Daisy. "I heard it from my grocer's boyfriend's babysitter's fiance's stepsister's mother's uncle's barber's friend's chef's-"

"I heard that rumor too," Mary said, cutting off Daisy before she could ramble on too much. "But I figured it was just that, a rumor. The Shield Wall is really going to fail?"

Ash shrugged. "That's what Sabrina said."

"But, like, that's impossible!" Violet protested. "The Shield Wall's totally impenetrable! It's _never_ failed before!"

"That doesssn't mean it _can't_ fail, jussst that it hasssn't," Evan pointed out, frowning. "If that Wall failsss when we need it mossst…then what'sss going to keep usss from being wiped out by the barbariansss?"

"Well, like, _you_ guys will be wiped out, all of us gorgeous women will be, like, raped repeatedly and carried off to be sex slaves," said a very anxious Lily.

Daisy sighed theatrically. "It's such a curse to be beautiful…you'll probably be fine, though," she said to Mary. A vein throbbed on the Medicham's forehead.

"That's why you can't come with us, Gary," said Ash. "If the Wall fails, the only thing between the barbarians and all the innocent people in Pokemon Square will be every warrior and Rescue Team the town can muster up to protect it."

Gary nodded to himself. "I see…yeah, that makes sense…"

"But then why are you and Pikachu leaving? You're the top Rescue Team in town at the moment, wouldn't you be better off here helping us than off on some rescue mission?" Mary asked Ash.

"We'd love to stay, but Sabrina pretty much said we had to go," Ash explained. "Destiny and the fate of the world and all that. There's something going on in Sinnorre which could potentially mean the end of everything, no matter what happens here! So we need you guys to hold the fort while we're gone, so that we have a home to bring Misty and Gardevoir back to!"

"But, like, how can we possibly win without you guys?! Team A.C.T.'s still, like, missing! They might even be, like, dead!" Lily protested.

"They might be," Ash admitted, though he hoped they weren't. "But don't worry, you'll be in good hands. I know for a fact that Allen's going to make it back, and Aaron of Team Auraforce will also return to help out!"

The six Pokemon gasped. "Aaron'sss coming back?!" Evan cried.

"Well, like, if Aaron's coming back, then we'll probably be okay. Yeah, we won't, like, need you and Pikachu around anymore, you'd probably just get in the way of Aaron's awesomeness," said Daisy.

"He's so dreamy!" Violet cried.

"Like, a total hottie!" Lily agreed. All three of Misty's sisters squealed at a high enough pitch enough to make everyone flinch, hearts forming in their eyes.

Ash's eye twitched. "Well, thanks for the vote of confidence…" he grumbled.

"We understand," Mary said, trying to reassure Ash. "We're needed here, and you're needed there. We all have responsibilities. That's part of what being a Rescue Team is all about, right?"

Ash nodded. "Exactly."

"Right!" Gary said, appearing to make up his mind. "Ash, we'll take care of Pokemon Square while you're gone! We'll make sure that no stinking barbarian makes it past the city walls! And…" He blushed and started to fidget with his hands. "Wh-when you see Gardevoir…t-tell her I said hi, okay?"

Ash grinned and would have given Gary a thumbs-up if his hands weren't full. "No problem, Gary. I can give her a kiss for you too, if you want."

As Gary turned red and started stammering angrily, Evan quipped. "Sssure, jussst asss long asss you give one to Misssty too."

Now it was Ash's turn to turn red, as everyone else laughed at him. "H-hey, what's that supposed to mean?!"

Violet smirked. "Like, duh, everybody knows you and my little sis, like, _like_ each other!"

"We do not!" Ash retorted automatically. He paused. "Wait, run that by me again. Did you just say _Misty_ liked me?" He started to blush.

The others groaned and rolled their eyes. "Like, it figures," Lily grumbled.

"He's, like, even more clueless than we are!" Daisy agreed.

Gary chuckled. "Kekekeke, yeah, totally clueless!" Mary sighed. He didn't notice.

The six started to walk away. "Have fun sssaving your girlfriend! Oh wait, ssshe'sss _not_ your girlfriend. Never mind, then!" Evan called back over a nonexistent shoulder. They started laughing again.

Ash scowled. "Dammit, why are they always saying stuff like that? Misty and I are _so_ not a couple." He frowned. "Are we?"

…

After mulling it over for several minutes, Ash decided that he and Misty were _not_ a couple, just very good friends. Friends who argued and hung out and fought a lot. And finished each other's sentences sometimes. And both thought, secretly, that the other was kind of attractive. And they both liked to spend time together. And spar. And occasionally had rather…_interesting _dreams about each other. Yep, just friends, and absolutely nothing more.

He was wrong, of course, but that's not really surprising, knowing Ash.

In any event, after dropping the new supplies off at HQ, Ash headed for home. The residence of the Thunderblades (Pikachu's family) was, unsurprisingly, a house shaped like the head of a Raichu. It was located near the northeast part of town, just on the edge of the artificial forest, so that the house's back yard opened up into the woods and allowed the family members a much larger and more varied training area than most of the townsPokemon had, though there were still fences and boundaries to designate private from public property. It was safe to say that their yard was a bit larger than most backyards in town, but the members of the Thunderblade clan had earned it in service to the city several times over, so only a few people complained about it. By the dark storm clouds hovering over the house and nowhere else, the flashes of lightning, and the ringing of steel against steel that Ash could detect as he walked up the street towards the house, Ash figured that Pikachu and his father Raiki were probably sparring out back, as they did now and then. It was generally a good idea to stay out of their way when doing so, unless you had an especially thick hide or were good at conducting electricity.

Ash let himself in through the front door using the key he had been given when he was adopted into the household. "Mom, I'm home!" he called.

"Oh, hello Ash! Welcome home!" the voice of Delia, Pikachu (and now Ash's) mother called from another room. "I'm in the kitchen!"

Ash had already surmised that, from the delicious smell wafting through the house. The interior of the Thunderblade home was surprisingly roomy, considering they were all somewhat small rodents, with a ceiling high enough for taller Pokemon like Ash to stand in. When he had inquired about this, it was explained to him that since they had many friends and visitors who were larger Pokemon, it only made sense to have rooms big enough for them to move around in. The floor was covered in thick mats woven from reed and thatch, and served as something both surprisingly comfortable to walk around on and a good cushion to keep from getting bruised in a fall. Considering that the Thunderblades were warriors by nature and had a very inquisitive and energetic little Pichu roaming the house with another child on the way, this only made good sense. The walls and ceilings were made of sturdy fire (and electric) –proof wooden blocks, with sliding doors made of some kind of surprisingly strong paper in wooden frames dividing the rooms. Painted scrolls, photographs, and a statue or sword here and there were hung from the walls or placed on low tables and cabinets to celebrate the long and illustrious history of the Thunderblade clan and its famous samurai warriors. (Thankfully, all the swords were sheathed, so that no overly curious Pokemon—such as Pikachu's little brother, or, embarrassingly enough, Ash—could cut themselves on one by accident.)

Ash followed the delicious scent into the very well-stocked kitchen, where he found Delia, wife of Raiki and mother of Pikachu, his little brother Pichu, and Ash through adoption, hard at work preparing what looked to be an enormous feast. She had already finished several dishes, soups, salads, and desserts which were sitting on the counter cooling as she cooked up a pot of ramen on the stove. Ash felt a twinge of guilt when he saw all the food Delia had made, realizing she was probably making it as a farewell dinner for her two eldest sons, but that guilt was quickly replaced by hunger, and it was all he could do to keep from drooling when he saw that some of his favorite meals, such as roast Tauros leg, Farfetch'd soup, berry surprise, and more were all sitting there before him and smelling delicious. Greedily he reached out for a rice cake…

And got a smack on the paw from Delia's wooden spoon as a reward. He yelped and withdrew his paw, while his mother shook the spoon at him. "That's not for until after dinner, honey. You know the rules."

"Yes, Mom," Ash grumbled, looking longingly at the rice cakes and other goodies Delia had already made. As she tutted and went back to stirring the ramen, Ash quickly sucked on his paw while she wasn't looking, there had been a noodle or two on the spoon she had hit him with and they had gotten transferred to his hand when she struck him.

Naturally, she noticed anyway, like all mothers do. "You need to stop doing that, dear, it's a rather bad habit for a Pokemon your age," Delia scolded him, but not unkindly. Ash gave her a sheepish look and hid his paws behind his back.

Delia was a pleasantly plump female Raichu in an apron with a warm and loving heart, six months pregnant and expecting to give birth to a new child in the near future, the fourth addition to the current generation of the Thunderblade family. (Third, if you didn't count Ash, but everybody did, even if he wasn't interested in wielding a sword.) She cared deeply for everyone she knew pretty well and considered them all a part of her extended family, willing to do just about anything to help her friends and neighbors, earning her the half-joking title of 'Saint Delia' from a few of the people who knew her intimately. Her all-inclusive love had made it very easy for Ash to integrate himself into the Thunderblade household, since she had pretty much considered him as a brother of sorts to Pikachu from the first time they met, and had always treated him as if he were her own son even before he had been formally adopted into the family. She didn't really hate anyone, not even the barbarians, whom she viewed with pity, sometimes saying that all they needed was a good home-cooked meal to realize the benefits of civilization and settle down rather than constantly pillaging towns and murdering innocent Pokemon. The only exception to this rule was her despised arch-rival Mrs. Krabbytree down the street who had won the awards for Best Sewing, Cleanest House, Nicest Garden, and first place in the annual town cook-off several years in a row, trumping Delia repeatedly in the process, despite her generally sour and mean disposition and having a no-good layabout wastrel for a son rather than fine strapping lads like Delia's own boys.

As stated previously, Ash's memory of the world of his birth was patchy at best, and one of his biggest regrets was that he couldn't remember his mother's face or name. He knew that he had had a good mother, and she had loved him dearly, but he couldn't recall anything else about her, which made him feel awful. However, he was almost certain that if his mother had been a Pokemon, she would have been somebody like Delia. This helped him feel like he truly belonged among the shorter sword-wielding electrifying rodent Thunderblades.

"From what I hear, you've had a rather busy day so far," Delia commented, still stirring the ramen. "In fact, it sounds like you're going to have a _lot_ of busy days pretty soon."

Ash fidgeted. "Um, yeah. I guess Pikachu told you we're going to Sinnorre, then."

Delia nodded. She didn't look at Ash, just continued to stir. "…Sinnorre is a dangerous place, Ash. You'll need to take care of yourself over there."

"If we can handle a bunch of barbarians, I'm sure we can take on whatever this evil organization or whatever has to throw at us," Ash said, sensing his mother was worried for her two sons so tried to reassure her.

It didn't work. She stopped stirring abruptly. "It's attitudes like that which get warriors and Rescue Teams killed…"

Ash flinched. "…Mom. It'll be okay. Pikachu and I will watch each other's backs. Between the two of us, we won't let anything happen to each other. You know that."

Delia sighed and resumed her stirring, though a little slower than before. "I know, dear. It's just…well, I worry. I'm a mother whose sons are always going off to fight some monster or rescue helpless Pokemon from a dangerous situation. I've lived among warriors all my life—heck, I'm married to one!—so I know all too well that there's always a chance that the mission someone you care about goes out on…might be one from which they never return." She stopped stirring again, closing her eyes. "You have no idea how relieved I was when Raiki retired to help start our little family. Every time he was called upon to use his sword in defense of the town, I was always worried that I'd never see him again, that I'd be a widow, like so many other women in Pokemon Square. I knew that whatever children we had together would inevitably follow in their father's footsteps…it's in their blood, after all…but I accepted it and encouraged it and was determined to be proud of them, even if sometimes I wished they didn't have to take on such a dangerous profession. It's the price one has to pay for destiny and a noble lineage, I suppose." She started to tremble. "And now…now I hear that my two eldest sons are going to have to go on a mission to one of the most dangerous towns on Earth to rescue their friends and save the world…and that my beloved Raiki may have to draw his sword in battle to protect our town once more. If…if something should happen to any of you, I-"

"Mom!" Ash quickly wrapped his arms around his adopted mother. "Please…don't cry. Look, we'll all be okay, okay? Raiki's too good to just, you know, _die_, and Pikachu and I…like I said, we've got each other's backs. I _swear_ none of us are going to leave you to raise Pichu and the baby alone. Aura Guardian's promise."

Delia finally looked up at her Lucario son, her eyes glistening. "I…thank you, Ash." Both of them knew that Ash didn't really have any way to enforce his promise, but the fact that he had been willing to make it was enough for Delia, which was of course why Ash had done it in the first place.

"So," Ash asked once Delia had pulled away and gone back to her cooking. "Where's everybody else?"

"Your father and brother are outside sparring," Delia explained. "Little Pichu went to watch and cheer them on."

"Any reason in particular they're fighting?" Ash asked.

Delia nodded. "When Pikachu told Raiki where you two were going, Raiki insisted they have a battle to see how far Pikachu's training has come along."

"Okay," said Ash. He glanced in the direction of the back yard, where he could still feel the muffled rumble of thunder and the clash of swords even through the walls of the house. "Should I go check on them?"

"Not unless you feel like getting electrocuted," she replied.

"I've been building up a pretty good defense against electricity," he said defensively. He had to, considering whose house he was living in.

"Pretty good won't cut it this time dear; they were pulling out all the stops from what I've heard already." Delia glanced at a clock on the wall. "In any event, they should be done pretty soon; they've been at it for almost two or three hours now."

She was right. About five minutes later the sounds of battle outside faded away. A little after that, a weary but happy-looking Pikachu and Raiki entered the kitchen, their swords sheathed in the scabbards on their backs. Their fur was roughed up and sticking straight out in some places, and a number of small cuts could be seen covering their forms, but they seemed more tired than actually hurt, which made sense since they had only been sparring, not actually trying to kill each other. Father and son were accompanied by Pikachu's hyperactive little brother Pichu, who was yammering incessantly about the events he had just witnessed while wildly waving his toy sword around, as he usually did. Pikachu claimed that both he and his father had been like that when they were Pichu too, something Ash found hard to believe. "-And then you were all wow! Crack! Bam! And then you used the Thunder Ryu attack, but Pikachu cut it in _half_, then came at you with a Two Thousand Stabs technique which you only _barely_ managed to deflect before pulling out a Thunderbolt Cut followed by a Nine Hundred and Ninenty-Nine Volt Press which he blocked _flawlessly_ and then you guys did that cool thing where you ran past each other with swords out to strike the other and you paused for a minute after passing each other, just like in anime, except that somehow both of you _missed_, which was totally _hilarious_, even funnier than the time Pikachu got dizzy and threw up after trying to do fifty ha-ten-giris in a row and—oh, hi Ash."

"Hey, squirt, you have fun with your dad and brother?" Ash asked, hefting the small (but surprisingly heavy) Pichu into the air and putting him on his shoulder.

"I got to see Daddy and Big Bro fight! It was totally awesome!" Pich squealed, waving his sword for effect and nearly hitting Ash's head. "It started with them having this dramatic staredown for several seconds which started out really tense but then got kind of boring and I almost dozed off until I saw this Butterfree and started chasing it and the moment I turned my back they were all clang! Clash! Zip! Krakow! They could have had the decency to wait until I was looking at them again! And then Dad started flinging thunderbolts everywhere, and Big Bro used his sword as a lightning rod to catch them and direct them into the ground so that he could counterattack, and then-" He proceeded to give his adopted elder brother a blow-by-blow replay of all the action.

Ash gave Raiki an anxious look as he tried to ignore the tiny rodent chattering his ear off. "Has he been in the sugar again?"

"Absolutely not!" Delia huffed indignantly.

Raiki gave his adopted son a sheepish look and rubbed the back of his head. "Despite our warnings, he got a little too close to the action and got hit by a stray lightning bolt. It over-energized him. Don't worry, he'll wear down eventually…I think." Raiki, like his wife, was a large Raichu. However, whereas Delia's extra mass was due to being pregnant (and maybe Grumpigging out a little too much on chocolate eggs and Poffin when nobody was watching), Raiki's additional height and girth all came from toned, powerful muscle formed from years of training and his many battles against the barbarian hordes outside Pokemon Square. His orange and yellow form was covered in dozens of scars from those many battles, both large and small, which he wore as badges of honor, always saying, 'You should have seen the other guy' whenever anyone expressed concern over how he had acquired them. His hearing was not what it had used to be, since most of his right ear had been shredded in a fight with a swarm of blood-crazed Ninjask, and his sight was not at its best thanks to a lightning bolt-shaped scar he had acquired over one eye (which still worked, just not as well as it once had) in a duel with a rival swordsmon, but he was still more than capable of outfighting most Pokemon half his age, with or without a sword. His yellow cheek-sacs had the Kanji symbols for 'honor' and 'courage' tattooed on them in permanent metallic paint, which both served to increase his electrical output and just looked really cool.

Ash sighed. "Well, at least he's not running around the house like a miniature lightning bolt yelling that he's the fastest thing alive like he did the last time. Pikachu, you give him too many comic books."

Pikachu shrugged apologetically. "I don't mean to, he just gives me that _look_ with the big wet Pichu eyes and…well, you know how I can't resist it. I end up caving in and buying some for him. At least he doesn't seem to be interested in the more mature stuff."

"Yet," Raiki and Delia both muttered under their breath.

"It looks like you guys were both giving it your all," Ash said, changing the subject. "Who won?"

"Nobody," said Pikachu.

Ash blinked. "Nobody?"

Raiki nodded. "Yes, we smelled the delectable aroma of the feast your mother was preparing for us, and our stomachs started growling so loudly that neither of us could concentrate on our swordsmonship. And Pichu started whining about food louder than usual. So, we decided to call it a draw and come in to eat." He glanced at the cooling food Delia had already completed and licked his lips . "Hmm, I don't suppose I could have one of these dumplings…" He reached a paw out towards the steaming dough balls.

As fast as her husband's sword, Delia lashed out with her spoon and whacked Raiki's paw. The Raichu yelped and withdrew his hand as she wagged the spoon at him. "If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times: no dumplings before dinnertime! Dinner isn't ready yet, so if you're hungry, you'll just have to wait to eat until I'm all finished, just like everyone else!"

"But Delia…" Raiki whined, sounding not unlike Pichu had in the backyard.

"No buts and no exceptions!" Delia said decisively before turning back to her cooking, their conversation at an end.

Raiki sighed, knowing there was no point in arguing further. While he might have technically been the master of the house, nobody could outrank Delia in her kitchen domain. "Oh well. I suppose we'll have to find something else to do then…" He turned to Pikachu. "Son, I was going to wait until after dinner to do this, but since the Queen of the Kitchen has proclaimed it's not time to eat yet…er, how long until you think you'll be done, Delia?"

"Half an hour, and no sooner, no matter how much you beg," she remarked without looking at her husband.

Raiki shrugged. "Then I suppose we might as well do this, while we have time. Come, let's go to the basement."

Pikachu's eyes widened in amazement. "Wait…you don't mean…" His father nodded. Pikachu gasped. "But, Dad, it's too soon! I'm not ready yet!"

"You might not have reached the age I or most of our forefathers did, but…considering the skill you demonstrated to me just now, the battles you have already fought, and the journey you are about to embark on…I believe you are more than ready to receive your birthright," Raiki told his son solemnly.

Pikachu just gaped in astonishment. Ash stared at them in confusion. "Uh, what're you guys talking about?"

"Daddy's going to give Big Bro the sacred sword!" the Pichu on his shoulder chirped.

"Oh," said Ash. He paused. His eyes widened. "OH. That's…a pretty big deal, isn't it?"

Raiki nodded. "A very big deal. As is family tradition, the sacred sword which is our heritage is given to the eldest son of the Thunderblade clan when he comes of age so that he may use it to right wrongs across the land. Pikachu has not yet reached the customary age at which he would receive the sword, but I believe that he is already more than mature enough to handle the responsibility wielding it entails…and besides, considering where the two of you are going, it'll definitely come in handy."

"Father, are you sure about this?" Pikachu asked anxiously. "I mean, maturity is one thing, but…I'm honestly not sure I'm capable of using the sword yet."

Raiki smirked. "Well, _I'm_ sure…and if that's not good enough for you, then we'll let the blade itself decide whether you are worthy of wielding it, as it has judged me and all the samurai who came before us."

"The sword can do that?" asked a surprised Ash.

"Well, duh, it's a _sacred_ sword," Pichu said, rolling his eyes as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"…Very well," Pikachu said, giving in. "If you believe I'm ready. And I suppose the sword _would_ come in handy…"

"Great!" Raiki said enthusiastically, smacking Pikachu on the back and almost knocking him over. "Let's go downstairs and get this taken care of. Ash, this is usually a private ceremony, but since you're new to the family, you can come watch."

Ash blinked. "Uh, okay."

"Can I come?" Pichu asked hopefully.

Raiki shook his head. "No son, you're not old enough yet. Stay here and help your mother make dinner."

"Okay!" Pichu squealed, hopping off of Ash's shoulder and racing across the floor.

"N-now, wait a minute, Mommy doesn't need your help-" Delia protested, only for Pichu to yank open a cupboard, pull out some pots and pans, and start banging them together while singing (badly) at the top of his lungs, which was what his tiny pre-Pikachu mind saw as 'helping.' Everyone cringed, their sensitive ears flattening against their skulls, as the cacophonous racket rang painfully through their heads. Delia, a vein throbbing on her forehead, turned towards her husband with murder in her eyes and a large serving fork in one hand, but the experienced swordsmouse had already grabbed his two older sons and bravely ran away. Eye twitching as Pichu kept making 'music', Delia glared down at the bulge in her stomach. "You'd better be quieter than this one when you hatch," she muttered to her unborn child.

After dragging his sons away as fast as he could, flinging open the basement door and locking it behind them, Raiki sighed and relaxed against the side of the stairwell leading underneath the house. "Well, that was exhilarating," he said to Ash and Pikachu as the adrenaline stopped pulsing through their veins. "Now, let's get this over with, shall we?"

"Your Dad is weird," Ash whispered to Pikachu as they followed the elder Raichu down the stairs to the basement.

"He's your Dad too," Pikachu pointed out.

Ash grimaced. "Oh. Right." Ash didn't dislike Raiki, he actually liked the old rodent quite a lot, he just didn't have as tight a rapport with him as he did with Delia. He thought it might have had something to do with him not growing up with a father back in his own world…at least, he _thought_ he hadn't grown up with a father, he hadn't seen any in his fragmented memories.

"I can hear you, you know," Raiki called back up the stairs, causing his two sons to jump in alarm. "Just because one of my ears is shredded doesn't mean the other one doesn't work perfectly well. Now come on, we don't have all evening! Well, I suppose we do, but if we want to get this over with before dinner we'd better hurry! Bad things could happen if this ceremony isn't completed in its entirety in one sitting."

"Really?" asked a worried Ash.

"Well, probably not, but it doesn't hurt to be careful," Raiki admitted. "Though I might pass out from hunger if Delia doesn't finish cooking soon! All that fighting really worked up my appetite!" As if on cue, all three of their stomachs growled loudly. Raiki laughed at the embarrassed looks on his sons' faces. "Don't worry boys, it's nothing to be ashamed of. Anyway, this shouldn't take too long…assuming nothing goes horribly wrong, that is."

"What could go horribly wrong with Pikachu taking a sword?" asked a wary Ash.

Raiki smirked. "Wouldn't _you_ like to know?"

"…Yes. Yes, actually, I would," Ash said, but Raiki ignored him and walked down the stairs. The Lucario looked at his brother, who just shrugged and followed his father. With a sigh, Ash went after them.

The bottom of the stairs opened up into a long chamber which extended most of the breadth of the house. The basement was intended to be a shrine to the warrior legacy of the Thunderblade family, honoring the heroic deeds of the samurai Pikachu throughout the ages as well as the sacred blade with which they struck down evil. Lining the walls on either side of the room were exquisitely carved stone pedestals bearing ornate urns containing the ashes of Pikachu and Raiki's ancestors. A magnificent tapestry was hung above each urn which depicted the warrior within as he or she had been in life, showing the greatest battles and most significant events they had experienced while upholding the legacy of the Thunderblades. There were many empty pedestals with no tapestries closer to the stairs, spots reserved for warriors who had not yet died or who were still waiting to be born. Raiki cheerfully pointed out the spot where he would one day rest as they walked down the red and gold carpet which lay between the two rows of pedestals, the Raichu using a lighter he had grabbed at the landing to ignite the wicks of ceremonial incense candles placed before each urn as they went. "I already have a nice little urn picked out to put here," he told his sons. "I think my ashes will be pretty comfortable sitting in them for the rest of eternity. I haven't gotten around to making my tapestry, though…I really should, it's not like I have that much time left to do it."

"Dad, don't say that, you've still got decades left in you!" said a concerned Pikachu.

Raiki laughed. "My son, you know as well as I do that Pokemon like us rarely die of old age. You should probably start thinking about where you want to rest and what kind of urn you'd like to lie in…it's never too early to start preparing for your death, after all!" Ash and Pikachu exchanged uneasy looks at this.

"Uh, hey, since I'm part of the family now, where am _I_ going to be buried?" asked a concerned Ash.

Raiki shrugged. "I dunno. What do Aura Guardians usually do with their dead?"

"I don't know, actually," Ash admitted. He brightened. "But thanks to the book Chuck gave me, I will soon enough!"

"Book?" asked a puzzled Pikachu.

"Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. While you were meeting with Raiki, Chuck gave me a book that used to belong to Aaron; a guide on how to use Aura that was written by the ancient Aura Guardians," Ash explained, showing the book to his brother.

"Cool," said an impressed Pikachu.

Raiki laughed. "Ha! Guess Pikachu's not the only one who's receiving a piece of their heritage today, huh?"

They reached the far end of the shrine. A stepped dais was set in the floor before them, with the ends of the carpet circling around it. A katana of beautiful craftsmanship with a metallic black handle banded in copper and an electric blue blade that seemed to be crackling with energy was driven into a plinth atop the dais, just as most other legendary swords were when nobody was using them. On the wall behind the dais was an austere white scabbard with thin intertwined lightning bolts in gold leaf wrapping around its length held horizontally in a pair of brackets. Above the scabbard was a huge mural depicting a very fierce and determined-looking Pikachu wielding the same sword imbedded in the dais as he challenged an immense demoniac Exploud in spiked armor with a huge hammer clenched in his fists and the equally heavily armed and armored horde of barbarians clamoring behind him, backlit by the setting sun. Watching on anxiously from the background were a bunch of bedraggled-looking village Pokemon and the somber figures of Zapdos and Raikou, certainly looking a lot more serious and intense than Ash had remembered them being when he and Pikachu had run into them.

On a hunch, Ash examined the sword with his Aura-sight, and was amazed by the pulsating brilliant blue glow he could detect emanating from the katana. It was as if a bolt of lightning had been frozen in time, tamed, and somehow hammered into a metal vessel so that it could be used as a weapon of war rather than a force of nature.

Raiki gazed solemnly at the mural and the sword beneath it, his usual good humor absent from his face and posture. "My sons…you know the story of our family. How the Thunderblades came to be. How the sacred sword came into our possession. How all in our line have become samurai to uphold the peace."

Pikachu nodded reverently. Ash, who had not heard the story, was about to open his mouth and say as much, but Pikachu glared at him and he kept quiet. Raiki, oblivious, began to recite the tale, regardless of whether or not his sons had heard it before. It was tradition for the story to be told before the sword was removed from its resting place by the eldest son of the next generation; his father had told him the story on the day Raiki first touched the sword, just as his father had been told by his father, and so on.

"Long ago, in the early years of our new world, in the aftermath of the 'sundering' which divided Pokemon into those who lived in cities and those who lived in the wild…an incredibly powerful and seemingly invincible Exploud warlord named Temujin and his army ravaged the countryside of Kanjohenn, pillaging and destroying every town in his path. Many great warriors rose up to oppose him, and all of them fell before his might, their homes and families completely destroyed as punishment for their insolence. However, one lone Pikachu, son of the eminent samurai Luke--who died trying to stop Temujin--managed to survive the fate that befell the rest of his family. His heart filled with sorrow and righteous fury, he cried out to the heavens, begging Arceus and all the lesser deities who served him to grant him the power to strike down the monster who had destroyed so many lives and avenge his family's deaths, swearing himself and all his future kin into Arceus' service for eternity if this one boon were granted.

"His prayers were answered when a shooting star fell from the night sky, crashing down to earth not far from where he had uttered his plea to the gods. Taking this as a sign, he managed to break off a fragment of the cooling meteor ore and took it to the Sage-Smiths of Mt. Steel, an ancient order of metalworkers extinct in our day, and asked them to use the star-metal to craft a weapon of unfathomable might.

"And craft it they did! Using metallurgical secrets and skills now lost to time, they forged the metal the Pikachu had brought them into a sword of incomparable grace and power, the best and strongest weapon they had ever made. The Pikachu knew at once that this would be the sword which would best Temujin…but if it were to fulfill his promise to Arceus and be an asset to those who would come after him, he knew it needed something more. He sought out the legendaries of thunder, Zapdos and Raikou, and asked them to bless his blade with their lightning, so that it would have the power to electrify evil and better serve the warrior Pikachu who would use it in the future. Zapdos and Raikou, arrogant by nature, laughed at his request, thinking him beneath their notice…until the Pikachu demonstrated his power—and that of his sword—by beating them to a pulp. Relenting, the bird and beast of thunder summoned a heavenly bolt of lightning to temper the blade, infusing it with power and turning it the brilliant blue it is now, earning it the name of Thunder Fang. The Pikachu also took on a new name, calling himself Raiden, after an ancient and forgotten god of thunder predating even the legendary Pokemon.

"With sacred sword in hand, he faced down Temujin on the field of battle and struck down the warlord after a fierce struggle. Horrified by how masterfully Raiden had defeated their master, Temujin's army turned tail and fled like the cowards they were, vanishing back into the dark corners of the wilds from whence they came. Raiden reveled in his victory, but knew that even though he had succeeded in avenging his family and the families of all the others who had been destroyed by Temujin's ambition, it was only a matter of time before new villains arose to take the Exploud's place. He knew that he would not always be around to prevent these fiends from harming the innocent, so he had no choice but to fulfill his promise to Arceus by training his children to fight honorably and wield Thunder Fang against evil when he would no longer be able to. He settled down in Pokemon Square and eventually took a wife who bore him a son. He trained that son in the way of the sword and the samurai code of Bushido, just as Luke had trained Raiden before his death, so that the new warrior would fight for honor and justice instead of power and greed. Eventually the son became strong enough to take Thunder Fang for his own and use it to fight in the name of good, just as Raiden had. And when that son had a child, he trained him just as he had been trained, and that son did the same to his son, and his son did the same to his son, and so on and so forth."

"And that's where I come in," Pikachu said quietly.

Raiki nodded. "When I went into semi-retirement to start raising you, I put Thunder Fang in its resting place, just as my father did when I was born, and his father had when he was born, and so on. Traditionally, the sword is not removed from its plinth until the next samurai of the Thunderblade line is of the proper age to wield it…but I believe that current circumstances warrant you taking it earlier than you would have otherwise. Such a thing has been done before in times of great need. And what greater need could there possibly be than to fight the nameless evil who nearly destroyed the world centuries ago, and wiped the humans whom our most ancient ancestors were friends with from existence?" He nodded to Pikachu and stepped out of his son's way. "I have done my best to train you in the ways of the sword and to educate you in the code of honor we samurai hold dear. While you are not yet at the customary age…you are more than ready to receive your birthright. Go forth, my son, and claim your heritage! Awaken Thunder Fang from its slumber so that it might taste evil flesh on its edge once again!"

If Pikachu felt any lingering doubt, he didn't show it. A determined look on his face, he ascended the dais and stood before the plinth. He reached out a paw towards the hilt of Thunder Fang…then paused and glanced back at Raiki. "Father…if I take this blade…then will I finally receive my name?"

Raiki gave his son an apologetic look. "Sorry, my boy…but I'm afraid that part is one custom I'm not willing to bend. As is tradition for we Thunderblades, your mother and I picked out a name for you at birth…but much like our venerable ancestor only took on the name of Raiden just before he won a great battle to save the land, so too must you fight a powerful evil before you can receive your true name. You've fought many battles since you've become a warrior and Rescue Team member…but nothing that qualifies for earning your name. Not yet, anyway." He smirked. "But _after_ you get back from saving the world in Sinnorre…well, then we'll talk." Pikachu nodded in understanding.

"Kind of a weird way to go about naming someone…er, no offense," Ash said.

Raiki shrugged. "Every family or group has their own customs which probably seem strange to outsiders. I'm sure there's more than a few the Aura Guardians used to have which would seem downright bizarre to the rest of us."

"Maybe," Ash admitted. "I don't know about any of those, though…" He glanced at the book in his paws. "But I intend to find out."

Pikachu took a deep breath…and grabbed the handle of the sword. He cried out in alarm as the blade suddenly flared to life and he was engulfed in a crackling blue corona of electricity which caused the room to flash like a strobe light. Ash gasped and took a step forward, but Raiki stopped him. "Don't worry, that's supposed to happen."

Ash gaped at his adoptive father. "_Supposed _to happen?!"

Raiki nodded unworriedly. "Yeah, if that _weren't_ happening then we'd really have cause for alarm."

In the heart of the crackling blue nimbus, Pikachu ground his teeth as the power of the sacred sword flowed around and through him, testing his body and spirit to see if he was worthy of its power. Just because he was the eldest son of the Thunderblade clan did not necessarily mean he automatically deserved the sword which was his family's greatest possession; he knew that there had been plenty of his ancestors in the past who had had a darkness lurking in their hearts which resulted in the sword obliterating them before they could try and use its power for evil, their concealed greed and desire betraying them as easily as if it had been plainly showing on their faces. (Why else would the chosen warrior of each generation try and have more than one kid, just in case?) Pikachu knew, though, that he was not like those degenerates who had failed. He had taken every lesson his father had taught him to heart; his soul was that of a true samurai warrior. It was because of this that he and Thunder Fang both knew that he was worthy.

And it was because of that worth and his samurai spirit that, with a mighty cry, he was able to wrench the sword from its stone, blue light flaring out across the length and breadth of the basement before suddenly retreating back into the blade from which it had originated, the metal pulsating brightly from the power contained within. A reverent silence fell over the room as all gazed upon the sword and the young mouse wielding it. Pikachu himself seemed to have forgotten for a moment to breathe, so deep was his focus on the blade in his paws. But the moment passed, and he seemed to remember himself, and in that moment Thunder Fang acknowledged him as its new master.

As Ash stared in awe and Raiki gazed on in pride, Pikachu took a few experimental swings with his new blade, marveling at how swiftly and cleanly it moved through the air, its balance and grace nothing short of perfection as it hummed and trailed short-lived strands of static through the air with every motion he made. Growing bolder, he made a powerful horizontal slice which sent a breeze blowing through the room, blowing back the fur on his father and brother…and causing the lit wicks on all the candles, still burning, to split in two and fall to the ground. Pikachu blinked in surprise. "Whoa…"

"How'd he do that?" wondered a confused Ash, scratching his head. "Without hitting us or anything? And at that distance?!"

"Can't some martial artists blow out candles just by punching at the air?" Raiki asked.

"Blow out candles, yeah…but cut off the wicks? Without touching a hair on our heads _or_ extinguishing the candle?! How the heck did he do that?!" Ash questioned.

Pikachu shrugged, a wry grin on his face. "The sword's just that good."

A stern expression formed on Raiki's face. "That may be true, my son, but you forget one thing…the _most_ important thing that any swordsmon must always keep in mind, lest he lose his path."

Pikachu's face scrunched up in puzzlement. "The most important…OH! Of course." He nodded as he recalled the point his father was trying to make. "'No matter how strong the blade, no matter how much history and magic is instilled in it, a sword is just a sword. It is the one who wields the sword that truly matters, for it is his will and the strength of his heart which slices through the foes more cleanly than any weapon ever could.'"

Raiki smiled, a pleased look on his face. "You remember my lessons well."

"That sounds sort of like an Aura Guardian thing," Ash said, somewhat surprised. "Er, from what I've gleaned from Chuck, anyway. An Aura Guardian's power is only as strong as his Aura, and his Aura is only as strong as his heart…or something like that."

Raiki nodded. "It is a principle central to most fighting styles and forms of combat. A weak heart cannot fairly win a fight, no matter how much muscle is backing it up."

"I will try to always keep that principle in mind, father," Pikachu said solemnly.

Raiki grinned. "I know you will, my son." He removed the white scabbard from the wall and offered it to Pikachu.

The young mouse took it from his father and, somewhat reluctantly, sheathed his new sword within it, the blue glow fading away as it was encased in the scabbard's depths. He reached for the scabbard already on his back, to take it off so as to make room for his new blade…and hesitated for a moment. He drew his old, faithful katana from its sheath and looked at it regretfully. "I've used this sword to fight for most of my life. And, while I've always yearned to use Thunder Fang, now that I have it…"

"It is hard for you to give up the weapon which has saved your life and the lives of others so many times," Raiki finished, his eyes filled with understanding. "Growing up and leaving the things of childhood behind is always hard, my son, but it is something which must be done so that a Pokemon can discover who he really is." He smiled ruefully. "Remember, a sword is just a sword."

Pikachu sighed and nodded. "I understand." Sheathing his old sword again, he pulled off the scabbard on his back, detached the bandolier he had used to carry it around on, and fastened it around his new blade. "All part of growing up, huh?"

Raiki nodded as he took the old scabbard and sword from his son. "It's never easy, but it's always necessary."

Pikachu smiled a little sadly as he slung Thunder Fang onto his back. "I know." He turned and stepped down from the dais, presenting himself to Ash. "So," he said, turning around to show off his new weapon. "How do I look?"

"Pretty good," Ash admitted. "It suits you."

Raiki chortled. "As well it should! That sword's as much a part of our family as either of you are!"

Ash frowned at him. "But it's still just a sword, right?"

Raiki blinked. "Huh? Oh. Yeah, sure, just a sword. What you said." Pikachu and Ash rolled their eyes.

…

While Pikachu now wielded his heritage, the sacred sword Thunder Fang, there was one last thing he and his father had to do before this rite of passage could be considered complete. Removing a brush and a bottle of black metallic ink from a secret compartment, Raiki painted the kanji symbols for honor and courage on his son's cheeks, identical to the markings his own father had given him. These symbols would show all who saw them that the Pikachu who bore them was a brave warrior destined for greatness. Ash watched as Raiki carefully painted the symbols onto his brother's cheeks, feeling pride…and a hint of envy…for his best friend. As far as Ash knew, he had never had a father, so had never experienced the gift Pikachu probably took for granted, and was not part of a legacy, so had never received any inheritance…unless one counted his Aura powers, but he wasn't sure if he had possessed them as a human. It was more likely they were just a consequence of the form he had been granted upon entry to this world. Looking down at the book in his paws, the closest thing he had to a heritage thanks to his species and abilities, he decided it would have to do.

The solemn moment was abruptly interrupted when the door at the top of the stairs was thrown open and Pichu shouted "DINNER'S READY!" down to the trio in the basement.

Raiki gasped. "Dinner? Finally! I was starving!" He threw his brush and ink pot into the air, Ash and Pikachu recoiling back as the black stuff splattered all over the floor and nearly got on their fur. "Come on boys, let's get some food!" He literally ran up the stairs, nearly knocking over little Pichu in the process.

Ash and Pikachu sweatdropped. "He sure gets enthusiastic about food…" Ash muttered.

"And you don't?" Pikachu asked wryly.

Ash grumbled and folded his arms over his chest. He glanced down at the mess Raiki had made of the floor in his mad dash to feed himself. "So…who gets to clean this up?"

…

And on that note, we end this chapter. Hope you found Pikachu's home life and Ash's training session interesting, as well as his meeting with his ex-rival and Misty's sisters.

And next time…the journey begins!


	5. Twelve Laws to Live By

I hope you enjoyed the backstory and world-building in the previous chapters, because this time, guess what we have? More of the same! Hooray!

Yeah…don't worry, the actual adventure starts next chapter. Or at the end of this one. Just relax and enjoy the show, okay?

…

Disclaimer: I do not own any character and concepts which don't belong to me. Everything else is mine. Arceus' laws are a mix of stuff I came up with and the Wizard's Rules from the Sword of Truth series by Terry Goodkind.

…

The fateful day had come.

Ash and Pikachu had withdrawn a sizable amount of spending money from their account at Giovanni's bank, taken out a number of useful items from Mrs. Kangaskhan's Storage, bought several things from the Kecleon Brothers' that they thought might come in handy, and received the shiny new Diamond badges which came with their new position in the Rescue Team rankings. Their bags were packed, all the goodbyes had been said that needed to be said, and they had politely (but firmly) declined the requests of their many, _many_ friends who offered or insisted to come and help them out on their mission.

The Mayor had sent the duo a message telling them that their Waillord would be departing that afternoon, so they still had a few hours to kill. With everything else taken care of, Pikachu had suggested that there was one more thing they should probably do before they left town, especially since they weren't sure how long they would be gone…

…

Pokemon Square's Temple to All Gods was one of the few buildings in town which wasn't shaped like the head of its occupant. Actually, from the outside it didn't look like much of a temple at all, since it was essentially a hollowed-out cave taking up the interior of a small hillock with only a pair of angelic dragon statues flanking the rounded cave entrance and a few small round stained glass windows dotting the sides of the hill to let anyone know that it was a holy place rather than just a regular old burrow.

The inside, though…that was really something special.

Almost the entire interior of the hill had been hollowed out and dug down to create a surprisingly large dome-roofed oval-shaped chamber extending several dozen meters below ground with multiple levels and enough room to fit just about everyone in town inside…though it would be a bit of a tight squeeze, admittedly. From the tunnel entrance, worshippers could find seats on the first ring of the temple, a balcony overlooking the main sanctuary and chamber which took up the majority of the structure, or climb up or down any of four shallow spiral stone ramps which connected all the other levels of the building together. Statues of legendary Pokemon and other deities lined the walls, with paintings even more magnificent than the ones in the Thunderblades' basement (albeit of a different style) interspersed between them, depicting major events in the history of the world as well as some of the most important moments that had occurred throughout the omniverse since its founding, though there wasn't that much from more recent times.

The domed ceiling, scraping the top of the hillock the temple was built inside of, had a large round stained glass window set in its apex which symbolized Arceus' divine light. The rest of the dome surrounding it was painted in a representation of the Celestial heavens and several of the holy beings and Guardians who dwelled there. Smaller stained glass windows dotted the sides of the dome, as well as the higher levels of the temple, though not as many as one might expect to find in a holy place. The main source of illumination came from the hundreds of candles placed in racks all over the temple, though most of them were not lit at that moment.

The lowest level of the temple, the main floor, had several benches and hummocks and couches and other pieces of furniture arranged in rows for the town's various inhabitants to sit in comfortably, the wide array necessary due to the varying body styles of all of Pokemon Square's residents. There was even a large and tranquil pond in the very center of the bottom floor, right beneath the central stained glass window, with tunnels going down to the bay so that the aquatic Pokemon who lived out there could come in for services and to worship when they felt like it.

The back wall of the chamber directly across from the entrance, from floor to ceiling, was occupied by an enormous statue of Arceus seated on his hind legs, with smaller sculptures of Palkia and Dialga flanking him. The Guardians of Light and Hope sat before his front hooves. An immense tablet with several numbered lines of text was carved from the stone god's chest and framed between his front legs, with Uxie, Mesprit, and Azelf lined up and smiling on the top. Just above them, the Holy Mother, Mew, was nestled beneath the chin of her mate, a happy and content expression on her adorable features. A large stained glass window ('large' in that it was bigger than most of the others, but was still pretty small) was placed just above and behind the statue's head, to give it a sort of halo of divine radiance. Ash couldn't help but admit that the effect worked pretty well.

From a distance, Arceus' hide looked oddly mottled, but a closer look would reveal that _faces_ had been carved into his skin…each face representing one of the species Arceus had created which were known to Pokemonkind, with plenty of blank space optimistically reserved for other races throughout the Omniverse who had not been encountered yet. Naturally, one of every known Pokemon species had a face on Arceus' hide, as well as humans, and a few others as well.

Ash glanced at Pikachu. "So that's what the Big Guy looks like, huh?"

Pikachu nodded. "Presumably."

Ash glanced around at the cavernous, but apparently dark and empty, temple. "You sure we need to do this? I mean, we already got blessings from Mom and Dad, and the Mayor, and Sabrina, and our friends, and _Scotty_ of all Pokemon…"

"Before embarking on a great journey, it is customary (though optional, I suppose) to pray to Arceus or whichever god beneath him you worship for good luck on your voyage," Pikachu explained. "Considering the nature of the adventure we're about to begin, and the fact that my family kind of serves the guy—we keep a sacred sword in our basement, after all!—I think it would probably be a good idea to pay our respects to him just in case."

"Well, when you put it that way…" Ash relented. He wasn't sure if he believed in Arceus quite as strongly as Pikachu's family (or most of the town) did, but he supposed it was somewhat refreshing to believe that there was presumably a big benevolent omnipotent being looking out for you somewhere.

One by one, apparently of their own volition, the unlit candles all over the temple caught flame, gradually brightening the darkness which occupied most of the sacred ground. As they did, the true wonder of the aforementioned paintings and statues could be more fully realized, including the regal magnificence of the great idol dominating the back of the room. Ash had been to the temple a few times since he had first arrived in Pokemon Square, but every time he saw the holy images decorating the walls, he found his breath catching in his chest as he drank in the beautiful visions surrounding him. The paintings on the higher levels of the temple showed the beginnings of Creation, including the Birth of the Original One and his children, with the soon-to-be Guardian of Light watching in awe; the creation of the Celestial Heavens and the rest of the Omniverse by Arceus and his two great sons Palkia and Dialga; the seeding of life on countless worlds by Arceus' mate Mew; the unimaginably long mating session the two supreme beings had once said seeding was done in incredible and almost disturbing detail; the formation of the immortal Guardians who defended the new universes in secret; the beginnings of life and the foundation of the earliest civilizations; and first contact between people living in different universes.

The paintings around the middle of the temple were much darker, depicting the Crisis Wars; a series of escalating and interconnected conflicts which almost tore apart the entire Omniverse and nearly ended the glorious new reality Arceus had created. These paintings showed the deaths of entire worlds and universes; great battles and heroic sacrifices as the forces of good and evil fought over the fate of all reality; the end of the wars, in which the instigators--including the traitor Giratina the Dark, who had at one point been one of Arceus' most trusted servants until he became corrupt and defected to the other side--were cast into a hellish prison universe known as the Abyss, crafted from and reflecting the evil within the villains' hearts; and the long, slow rebuilding process which took place once the whole thing was over. The horrific events detailed in the paintings were as moving as they were grim; showing the hard realities of war and the high price that often had to be paid so that sentient creatures could live in peace, a theme that the inhabitants of Pokemon Square understood all too well.

The paintings on the lowest levels of the temple were of more recent events, things that had happened hundreds or thousands of years ago rather than millions and billions, like the paintings above. The displays were of things such as the (imagined) birth of human and Pokemonkind, the well-known age in which human trainers and captured Pokemon had worked together in (supposed) harmony, the great cataclysm which had devastated the planet and nearly killed everyone (records of the cataclysm were a bit vague, so the events of the catastrophe were up to the artist's imagination), the miraculous rebirth which had saved the Earth and given Pokemon a second chance of governing it, the willful division which separated city and wild Pokemon from each other, and a few of the most prominent clashes between civilized and barbarian Pokemon. There were several blank walls on the lowest areas, presumably reserved for events which hadn't happened yet but would be of such great consequence that they would merit receiving a painting. There was some debate as to whether the most epic battles and missions won by some of Pokemon Square's warriors and Rescue Teams deserved to get a painting, or if those were too 'mundane' and 'commonplace' to matter in the grand scheme of things, unlike the other events which had already been painted. Ash personally didn't think saving the planet from a meteor counted as 'mundane' (even if technically Rayquaza had done it, and not him and Pikachu), but he supposed it wasn't up to him to decide.

"This really _is_ a nice place," Ash commented once all the candles had been lit and the temple was illuminated by hundreds of small, flickering flames. "Why aren't there more windows in here? This place would look even better with a little more sunlight."

"Perhaps, but you know how sensitive I am to the sun," the voice of the temple's caretaker and head priest whispered in Ash's ear, causing him to holler and leap into the air in fright. "And besides, sometimes it is easier to pray and to contemplate weighty or private matters in darkness' cool embrace rather than in the light."

Pikachu smirked as the priest, a diminutive vaguely humanoid gold Sableye with large hexagonal diamonds for eyes and the white robes with black trim and faint intricate golden designs which marked him as a member of the Arcean Order, faded into view. "Of course you'd say that, Father Yamiri. You _are_ a Darkness Pokemon, after all."

"And a ghost," Ash grumbled, brushing himself off as his heart stopped beating a mile a minute. "Do you _have_ to do that every time I come in here?!"

"I suppose not," the Father admitted, baring his many sharp teeth in an unthreatening grin. "But I _am_ a Ghost, as you said…sometimes I just can't resist the opportunity for a good scare."

Ash shook his head. "You're certainly not like any other holy man I've ever met."

"How many other holy men _have_ you ever met?" Pikachu asked.

Ash hesitated. "Uh…well, I'm sure I must've met _some_ back in my original world, I just don't…really remember them," he said sheepishly. "But I'm pretty sure they didn't occasionally scare people for fun!" he added quickly as his brother and the priest suppressed laughter.

"Maybe they should," the Father retorted playfully. "A little fear can do a Pokemon a surprising amount of good now and then…remind them they're alive. As someone who's dead, I'd like to think I have some sort of understanding about that sort of thing."

Ash rolled his eyes and reluctantly smirked while Pikachu chuckled. Father Yamiri had been in charge of the Temple of All Gods and all the town's religious rituals, festivals, and ceremonies for as long as anyone could remember…longer, even, considering that he was a ghost. He had apparently wandered into Pokemon Square about four hundred years ago and moved in to the old abandoned shrine that had been left to decay for several generations after a scandal involving the previous caretaker and several of the town's children, spending the next few years fixing it up and turning it into a real temple and holy place, grander than it had ever been before and earning a place in the hearts of the townsfolk. He had served as a spiritual counselor, confidant, and friend to most of the inhabitants of Pokemon Square ever since.

Ash had initially been surprised that the town priest was a ghost, but after some thinking realized it made a lot of sense; after all, who better to consult on spiritual matters than a spirit? Apparently many other priests around the world were ghosts too, which was not to say that all ghosts were priests or all priests were ghosts, but there were a significant number that were both.

"So, my children, what brings you here today? Should you not be preparing for the great quest you are about to embark on?" Yamiri asked them inquisitively.

"We've done just about everything that can be done," Pikachu said. "So I thought we should come here to pay our respects and pray for a safe journey."

"Or something like that," said Ash, causing Pikachu to frown at him.

Yamiri nodded in understanding. "Ah, I see…yes, that makes perfect sense. You will certainly need Arceus' blessings on this journey…considering where you are going and who you are up against. The monster that nearly destroyed our world so many centuries ago…the foe of all who live on this planet. I am not surprised that he still exists, for evil rarely dies easily. Battling this menace is certainly doing His work, fighting in life's name…so you will need as much help from Him as you can get when you confront this ultimate enemy."

"Were you around back then? During the cataclysm, I mean?" an intrigued Ash asked, too curious to remember that ghosts usually didn't like being asked about what their previous lives had been like, much to Pikachu's consternation.

Fortunately, Father Yamiri was an amiable sort, and took it in good stride. "I? No, I am not nearly that old," he said with a laugh. "To be honest, there are no ghosts who have been dead long enough to remember that horrible catastrophe well. The destruction from that cataclysm was so complete that it left absolutely no ghosts from the people who died in it, all of their anguished souls instantly passing into the safety of the Heavens, or so we hope…and while the Savior Deoxys was able to resurrect nearly everyone who had died, save for our poor human friends, almost no-one could remember conclusively exactly what had happened or who was responsible, either due to a flaw in the reanimation process or some lingering curse from the great enemy cast before his retreat."

"And we're going up against the guy who did all that…" murmured Pikachu. "He must be incredibly powerful to have left such an impact on our world."

"All the more reason for us to stop him, right?" Ash pointed out.

Yamiri nodded in agreement. "Most certainly. But I have a good feeling about you boys…I think that if anyone can stop him, you two can." He smirked. "With a little divine intervention, of course."

"Well of course," Pikachu said with a straight face. "Who couldn't use a little of that in their lives?"

"I could use some to remember more about the world I came from and the life I left behind," Ash grumbled.

"You will remember when the time is right for you to do so," Yamiri said calmly. "Arceus must have taken your memories from you for a reason, and when you need them most, they will return to you."

"If you say so," said a skeptical Ash, who sometimes thought it more likely that he might have just bumped into Uxie and looked into his eyes by accident before appearing near Pokemon Square and lost his memories that way.

"Anyway, I wish the two of you the best of luck on your journey, and in finding your foe. It will not be easy, considering how vast and dangerous Sinnorre and Treasure Town are…you will need every blessing you can get if you are to succeed!" Yamiri said, changing the subject.

Ash frowned at that. "Everyone keeps telling us that Sinnorre and Treaure Town are really dangerous places. What's so bad about them, anyway? That makes them worse than the countryside of Kanjohenn, I mean."

"Father says that Sinnorre has fewer barbarians than there are here…but the ones there are tougher than ours," Pikachu explained. "There are also a number of Pokemon there which are bigger, stronger, and _different_ from any others of their species…literal monsters! Some of my ancestors actually went overseas to try and thin the monster populations a little and save the innocent Pokemon of Sinnorre from the threat they posed. The most famous example was when my great-grandfather, Susanoo, slew an eight-headed serpent beast which had been terrorizing a town of Ghost Pokemon for nearly a hundred years."

"Whoa," said an amazed Ash, his mind boggling at the concept of an eight-headed anything. It was weird enough to see a three-headed Dodrio now and then, but something with that many heads?! How did it think? How did it _eat_? Did it have eight stomachs or one big one? And… "Wait, how'd it terrorize a town of _ghosts?"_ he asked in confusion. "Ghosts are, you know, spirits! What can a snake do to them?"

"Eat them," Yamiri said. "I have heard of that beast, though I never encountered it. It was capable of devouring souls, and since that is all we Ghosts are…"

"Oh," Ash said quietly. "Well, good thing it's dead then, and there aren't any others like it…er…are there?"

"Let's hope not," Pikachu said. "Though if there are…well, we'll see how they like Thunder Fang biting into their monstrous hides."

Yamiri perked up at that. "Ah, I noticed you had the sacred sword! So you have received it early, I heard as much. Do you suppose I could see it for a moment?"

"Certainly," Pikachu said, drawing the katana. The crackling blue light from the blade instantly added an eerie flickering incandescence to the temple's steady candlelight.

"Ah…magnificent," Yamiri whispered reverently, the reflected glow from the katana gleaming in his jewel eyes. "Whenever my faith starts to wane, all I need to do is look at this sword to remember that there truly is a benevolent power out there that loves us and wishes us well."

"You've seen it before?" asked a startled Ash.

"Well, of course, he's been in town for almost four hundred years," Pikachu pointed out. "And my family's been here even longer. It's a given that he'd have seen several of my ancestors wielding the blade at some point or other during that time period."

"Oh…right," Ash said, somewhat embarrassed. "Sometimes I forget…it's hard to wrap my mind around the idea that you've been around so, well, long!"

Yamiri shrugged. "Your friend Gardevoir has been around much longer, has she not? And the Ninetales who cursed her?"

Ash nodded. "Yeah, but Gardevoir doesn't remember much about her time as a spirit, and Ninetales is…well, you know, one of those aloof mystic types who doesn't see other people often or go out of her way to be with anyone. You, on the other hand…you're very approachable, and can remember every century of your life, er, afterlife, pretty clearly, can't you?"

"I suppose that's true," Yamiri admitted. "But it doesn't always seem like it's really been that long an afterlife. Time is relative, after all. If you live as long as I have, perhaps you will one day understand."

"How'm I supposed to do that?" Ash asked skeptically. "Unless you mean I die and become a ghost like you, that is."

"Perhaps…however, there's more than one way for a Pokemon to live forever," the Sableye said cryptically.

Ash gave the priest a puzzled look, but he didn't elaborate. He glanced at Pikachu, who shrugged, equally clueless. The Lucario sighed and decided to try and get the conversation back on track. "So, um, that's why Sinnorre's dangerous? Because there are some actual monsters and not just crazy murderous Pokemon running about?"

Yamiri nodded. "Essentially, yes."

"Then what's so bad about Treasure Town?" Ash pressed.

"I've heard that it's the worst city on the planet," Pikachu spoke up.

"Not _the_ worst, but very close," Yamiri corrected. He sighed, looking somewhat dejected. "It is a…very bad place. All who live there seem to be blind to Arceus' light. There is no hope, no joy, no _life_…just an agonizingly empty and disappointing existence rife with pain, fear, despair, and sorrow from anguished beginning to inevitable end. The people there have no camaraderie, no friendship, no love; years of doing horrible things to each other and being betrayed by all around them have driven them to trust nobody but themselves and become completely selfish beings. Poverty is everywhere. Violence and crime and hate are an inextricable part of life there, with Pokemon fighting and robbing and killing and _raping_ each other in the streets while everyone else not only stands by and watches but just keeps _walking_ as if it were nothing special…and the sad thing is, in a town like that, it isn't. Far worse things can happen to those who stick their noses in other Pokemon's business than the atrocities taking place in public." He shook his head sadly. "It is a taste of the kind of world which would come into place should our civilization crumble before the barbarian menace…which is, perhaps, why no barbarian horde has ever tried to destroy Treasure Town: because there's nothing there of value, save for the mysterious treasure buried beneath the town which you already know of, nothing worth fighting and killing for. Everything which was died out a very long time ago and all that's left are starving maggots trying to feed from a long-dead corpse of a city." He laughed bitterly. "Ironically, the Pokemon there might welcome an invasion…death would be preferable to continuing to live in that awful place. Maybe that's why there are at least half a dozen suicides every day…"

The brothers were both shocked by this. "That's horrible…" a stunned Ash whispered.

"What a terrible place…why do people live there?!" Pikachu questioned.

Yamiri shrugged sadly. "Sometimes they have nowhere else to go. And aside from that…even though nearly everyone who lives there hates it, they've never known anything else. They're afraid of the outside world…at least in Treasure Town, while every day holds the possibility of death, you _know_ what dangers walk the streets and lurk around every corner. But outside the city boundaries, nearly everything's a mystery."

Pikachu frowned. "They don't get taught about what the rest of Sinnorre is like?"

"If they aren't able to get enough Poke' not to live in the squalor and misery they do now, do you really think they can afford a proper education?" Yamiri said blandly.

Pikachu sweatdropped. "Good point…"

"You sound like you know an awful lot about Treasure Town…have you been there before?" Ash asked the Sableye.

The priest paused. "…Yes. Once. Long ago."

"Did you try to play the part of missionary and enlighten the lives of the people there?" Pikachu asked.

Yamiri winced. "…No. Actually, it's…the place where I was born."

Ash and Pikachu started at this. "You came from _there?!"_ an incredulous Ash cried.

"But…you managed to persevere over your hard life and the awful circumstances all around you and found your calling as a holy mon, right?" Pikachu guessed.

Yamiri didn't meet their eyes. "…No. In fact, I didn't become a priest until…after I died." He turned and floated towards the balcony railing, where he stared down at the temple floor far below. "…My children…please meet me downstairs. This is not something I am comfortable speaking about." He vanished, as ghosts often did.

"Great, so we have to walk while all he does is phase out…or whatever it is ghosts do," Ash grumbled.

"Well, that's one of the advantages of being dead, I suppose," Pikachu pointed out. "You don't need to walk everywhere."

"Also means you don't get much exercise, either," Ash muttered as they walked down the nearest spiral stone ramp to the ground floor, passing through the many subterranean levels and balconies of the temple in the process.

When they reached the bottom of the ramp, they walked across the floor towards the great statue of Arceus and the tablet carved from his chest. As they passed the fountain in the middle of the room, Ash noticed that all the furniture on the ground level was arranged so that it faced the immense statue, which he supposed made sense since it gave everyone seated line of sight with the object of their worship. He also could make out more easily the individual tiny faces carved into Arceus' skin, and could quite clearly read the words engraved on the stone tablet in the light emanating from the dozens of candles set in ornate metal holders at its base. Pikachu closed his eyes and bowed his head for a moment, murmuring a quick prayer under his breath. Ash fidgeted, not exactly sure what he should be doing, and feeling oddly humbled by the majesty of the figure before them, even if it was just a stone representation rather than the real thing.

Father Yamiri reappeared, floating several feet in the air above them, face turned towards the Arceus statue rather than at the friends below him. He reached out with one arm and pressed his claw against the enormous stone tablet, and let it rest there for a moment, as if gathering strength. Finally, he spoke.

"I was born in the slums of Treasure Town…not that that means much, since nearly everywhere in that wretched place is a slum. My parents sold me when I was only a few days old in exchange for more of the drugs they were addicted to." Ash gasped and Pikachu made a disgusted face at this, while Yamiri just sighed. "I heard they died not long after of overdose…proof that there is such a thing as karma, I suppose.

"I was raised by one of the many gangs who called the streets of Treasure Town their domain. Though 'raised' might not be the right word…I was treated more like a pet, or a slave, than an actual Pokemon. Needless to say, I had a very hard childhood, and it didn't exactly make me a well-balanced individual when I finally became an adult."

"Then…you weren't a priest after you grew up," Pikachu said. It wasn't a question.

Yamiri shook his head sadly and turned around to look down at the duo. "No. I grew up learning that the only person I could rely on was myself, and that my life was the only thing worth caring about. That money and power were all that mattered, and that there was no act or deed so vile that it could not be done for the right amount of Poke'. And, living among criminals, it seemed inevitable that I would become one. And so…" He sighed wearily. "I became a mercenary."

Pikachu gasped. "No!"

"Uh, what's a mercenary?" asked a confused Ash.

"Mercenaries are like Rescue Teams, but far less altruistic," Pikachu explained, shocked by the revelation that the kindly Sableye priest who had visited his home often and always had time to talk with him when he had a problem and presided over all the big and fun religious festivals in his life had been such a, well, _fiend_ in his former life. "Like us, they take on jobs for money, but unlike Rescue Teams they rarely if ever do anything if they don't get a reward out of it. Additionally, whereas Rescue Teams basically go on missions to save people, mercenaries usually are hired to do more…unsavory things. Like stealing things, protecting warlords and serving in their armies, or even killing innocent Pokemon who rub someone the wrong way. They're willing to do _anything_ in exchange for cold hard cash, with none of the morals or consciences or codes of conduct people like us use to keep from doing the wrong thing." He shook his head angrily. "They are beings almost completely without honor."

"Whoa," said an alarmed Ash, startled to realize that people like that existed. He knew barbarians and wild Pokemon killed other people for imagined grievances or often for no reason, but to kill someone else for _money?_ Well, admittedly he and Pikachu _had_ gotten paid occasionally for some of the missions they had taken on to repel groups of barbarians and save the innocent Pokemon they were harassing, but that was different, they were fighting to protect people, they could care less about how much Poke' they got at the end of the day. The idea that a warrior might be willing to fight and kill other Pokemon just for some Poke' made him sick. "Father…were you _really_ like that once?"

"It was a long time ago," Yamiri said sadly. "I did many terrible things. I killed innocent women and children, burned down villages, and destroyed people's lives for selfish profit. But I changed. I became…who I am now."

"What happened?" Pikachu asked softly.

Yamiri turned back to the tablet. "It was almost six hundred years ago, in the distant northern region of Glacia. I was relaxing in a rather seedy tavern with a number of other mercenaries and ne'er-do-wells; celebrating the completion of a recent job and the large sum of money we had received from a local politician who had wanted us to…_convince_ his competition the folly of running against him."

Pikachu's face was aghast. "Did you…"

"Kill him? Thankfully, no," Yamiri said, causing Pikachu to sigh in relief. "Just…threatened him a little. And destroyed most of his home and business."

"Glad our Mayor's not like that," commented Ash. He paused, and frowned. "Then again…he _has_ been Mayor for an awfully long time…has anyone ever actually successfully run against him? Or his predecessors?"

Pikachu shrugged. "Not that I can recall," Yamiri admitted. "In fact, now that I think about it, an awful lot of his family _have_ been mayors…" Ash frowned at that. "Anyway, the alcohol flowed a little too freely, as it usually does when there's lots of money to waste on drink, and we started bragging and boasting about how strong we were, each of us trying to outdo the other and prove he was the toughest and meanest mercenary of the whole lot. A typical pissing contest. We even started daring each other to do the most audacious things just to prove how badass we were." He looked back at the duo. "After taking a few too many drinks, I accepted the most ridiculous challenge of them all, one which was almost guaranteed to kill whoever set out to try and accomplish it. I agreed to…ah…mark my territory on the Law Rock."

They stared at him for a moment in disbelief. "You agreed to go to the sacred Law Rock, Arceus' message to His creation about what He expected from us, and _urinate _on it?!" an incredulous Pikachu demanded.

Ash shook his head in amazement. "That's bold, man."

Yamiri flushed in embarrassment. "In my defense, I was drunk. None of us had ever seen the Rock before (what with it being close to the North Pole and all), but knew it was relatively nearby—there were maps to it, you see, it's a big tourist destination, as you would expect—and all of us hated the world and either didn't believe in Arceus or hated Him too, so saw nothing wrong with defiling the Law Rock, either to prove that there was nothing special about it or to basically insult God." He shook his head ruefully about how foolish he had been back then. "Needless to say, I was more than a little angry at myself when I became sober and realized what I had done, but I couldn't back down, since I knew that doing so would only emasculate myself and earn me the disrespect and hatred of my peers. So, after procuring a guide, a map, and all the proper supplies, I set off on my expedition to the coldest reaches of the frozen North, in search of the mountain known as the Pillar of the Earth, a place that had in ancient times thought to be the support which kept the sky from falling."

"It isn't, is it?" Ash asked.

Yamiri blinked, or would have if he had eyelids. "Hmm? No, it's just a very tall mountain. But a _sacred_ mountain, for it was where the Law Rock had fallen billions of years ago when Arceus hurled it across the Omniverse, the mountain growing around it in the eons since then."

"Wow," said an impressed Ash. "Must be pretty old, huh?"

"It's been here since before sentient life existed on our planet," Pikachu said. "Arceus sent it to Earth, just as He sent other Law Rocks to other worlds, as a message to His future children basically telling them what He expected from them. This tablet here is supposed to be a representation of the real Law Rock up at the North Pole."

"Oh, so _that's_ what that thing is," Ash realized.

Yamiri nodded. "This tablet is not an _identical_ duplicate of the real thing…the true Law Rock is much too grand and inherently divine for that…but I carved it keeping the most important things I saw on the real Law Rock when I first beheld it in mind."

"So you made it there," Ash assumed.

Yamiri nodded. "I did indeed…and it was the hardest thing in my entire life. Every step of the journey seemed to be cursed and fraught with peril…blizzards and avalanches dumped tremendous amounts of snow before and behind me, covering my tracks and obscuring the way ahead. My compass broke, and so it became almost impossible to tell which way I had to go. My guide abandoned me a third of the way to the Rock, so I had no choice but to forge on ahead. Most of my supplies got stolen by Sneasel. A Jynx tried to seduce me and lead me to my death. An abominable Abomasnow trailed me for days in hopes of killing and eating me. Some of my toes and fingers went stiff with frostbite, and I had no choice but to hack them off and leave them behind." Ash and Pikachu made disgusted faces at this. "I knew on some level that there was no way I could possibly survive, that by setting out on this journey I had only doomed myself, and that I was long past the point of no return. Even so, I continued, driving my body long past the point where it should have broken down from sheer exhaustion, my pride and stubbornness refusing to let me stop." He shook his head. "I could not quit, I could not die, not until I had succeeded, not until I had defiled the Law Rock and shown Arceus that no matter what He threw at me, I would take it and surpass it, just as I had overcome every obstacle He had dropped in my path throughout my entire life." Yamiri grimaced. "Looking back, my arrogance and defiance towards God were nothing short of hubris. I deserved everything that happened on that cursed trek through the frozen wastes." He looked up into the carved features of Arceus, his face remorseful, as if begging for forgiveness.

"What happened when you reached the Rock?" Pikachu asked, caught up in the story.

Yamiri smiled indulgently as he looked back down at the brothers. "After days of pushing myself mercilessly, without food or shelter from the cold, I was about ready to drop. Every inch of my body was coated in snow and ice, my right leg had gone completely numb from frostbite so I had to drag it along behind me, and my breath came out in a constant cloud of steam. I was aware of this, but ignored it, pushing on regardless, my pride refusing to let me fall until I had shown Arceus the depths of my hatred for Him…even though I knew it would be my last act, assuming that I even made it to the Rock, and assuming that there was enough liquid left in me to do the deed…and that the cold hadn't caused my member to-"

"Ah, that's a bit more than we really need to hear," Ash interrupted, eyes wide in alarm.

"Sorry," Yamiri said apologetically. "Anyway, just when it seemed as if I had reached the end of my endurance and I was finally starting to entertain the notion that I was never going to make it and I would die out on the ice alone and unmourned, I crested one last ridge…_and there it was!"_

"What?" Ash asked.

Pikachu and Yamiri stared at them. "The mountain," his brother said deadpan.

Ash blinked. "Oh, right. Sorry."

Yamiri continued. "It was bigger than I had expected…bigger than the whole world, it seemed! I couldn't understand how I could possibly have missed seeing something that tall when I was searching for it earlier. And the Rock…everything I had imagined of it, everything I had thought it to be, was nothing compared to the sheer reality of standing before it. The presence it exuded was so great that it actually seemed to _dwarf_ the mountain growing around it! I was humbled, as I rightly should have been, and as I gazed upon it…" He hesitated, glancing at the representation of the Law Rock he had made for the temple. "As I gazed upon it, as I read the message engraved on its surface…something within me came undone. The hatred that had consumed me for so long…my bitterness, my selfishness, my rage towards Arceus and towards the world and the people in it who had made me what I was that day…all of it was gone, and for the first time in my life I realized, with perfect clarity, everything that I had done, how many people I had hurt, how many lives I had ruined in my ruthless pursuit of money and power. As I realized the full enormity of my sins, I fell to my knees in penitence (and, admittedly, exhaustion) and wept, begging forgiveness even as my tears, the last little bit of moisture remaining in my body, froze into icy streams on my face."

"Wow," said an awed Pikachu.

"Wait," said a skeptical Ash. "You suddenly realized everything you had done in your life was wrong, just because you saw a big rock at the North Pole which Arceus dropped here billions of years ago?"

Yamiri and Pikachu stared at Ash incredulously for a moment. "Have _you_ seen the Law Rock?" the Sableye asked finally.

"Well, uh…" Ash stammered.

"No? I didn't think so. In that case, don't bother trying to make it fit into some preconceived schema or concept in your head," the priest said firmly. "The Rock is more than you can possibly imagine. It has been here longer than any of us, almost longer than this planet existed. Arceus sent it to us as a message of peace and love, a message to tell us why He made us and what He expects and hopes for us. And that message…" He shook his head. "It was that message which made me see the light. I cannot convey to you what it said, not in words, for it is something that can only be experienced, only be felt. Not until you yourself stand before the Law Rock and read what it says can you truly understand what I went through on that day."

"I…sorry," Ash apologized clumsily. "I didn't realize it had that big an effect on you. I guess I'll have to find time to go up there someday."

"You should," Yamiri agreed. "Though it's not exactly easy to get there…if there's only one problem with the Law Rock, it's that it's rather difficult to get to where it lies. One would think that Arceus could have put it a little closer to where populated centers would one day be…" He shrugged. "Then again, it's possible that He did, but the great cataclysm which devastated the world rearranged the continental plates so much that it was shunted to the far north, away from where it once might have been. Even omniscient beings can't plan for everything, I suppose."

"…Can't they?" asked a slightly confused Ash. "I mean, if He's omniscient and everything…"

"I don't think it's really something worth discussing at the moment," Pikachu said with a roll of his eyes.

"Right," said Ash. "So, uh, what exactly was this message?"

Yamiri stared at him. "…I just told you. It can't be conveyed in words."

"Well, yeah, but can't you just give us a summary or the gist or something?" Ash pressed. Pikachu chuckled and shook his head, knowing what was coming. He couldn't have come here for sermons and the like for most of his life without understanding what Yamiri was about to tell them. Even though he had heard this bit before several times, he made no move to stop Yamiri, he always enjoyed hearing the priest's interpretation of the Law Rock's message.

Yamiri smirked. "What do you think these are?" he asked, gesturing to the numbered lines on the tablet behind him. "After receiving no answer to my plea for forgiveness, I desperately spent as much time as I could studying the Law Rock in hopes that I could redeem myself that way, trying to decipher and ingrain its words into my soul so that I could later deliver them to my fellow Pokemon. Twelve days and nights I spent gazing at the Rock and attempting to understand its meaning, and on this tablet you see here I eventually inscribed what I learned both then and from after I joined the Order: Arceus' Twelve Laws…although to call them laws may be a bit of a misnomer, for the message which came before these laws explained that they were more of a guideline for behavior rather than the way He absolutely wished us to act; for Arceus wants us all to live through the exercise of free will rather than just do something because someone else says we should. Nevertheless, embodying these Twelve Laws is the key to comprehending Arceus' will, and living one's life to its fullest…or one of them, anyway. There's no single path to enlightenment, after all."

He hovered to the top of the tablet and pointed at the first line of text. "The First Law! 'Embrace love rather than hatred.' Simple enough to understand, for in hating one only destroys himself and all around him. As one who hated for almost all his life, I grasped this law rather quickly, though it took some time to understand 'love', having never experienced it before in my violent pain-filled life.

"The Second Law! 'The greatest harm can sometimes come from the best intentions.' As paradoxical as it sounds, this means that sometimes doing what seems right is actually wrong and can cause harm. The only way to counter this is to act with knowledge, wisdom, forethought, and understanding that people can often believe anything, even a lie, because they want to believe it or fear that it is true. But sometimes, that is not always enough…in any event, this rule doesn't mean you shouldn't have good intentions, just that they might not always work out the way you'd expect them to if you're not careful."

"Oh, like the time Ash gave Misty that cosmetics pack as a birthday present and she got angry and beat him to a pulp because she thought he was implying that she was ugly, something she herself was afraid of due to all the times her sisters had belittled her about how she wasn't quite as pretty as they were?" Pikachu asked.

"Essentially, yes," Yamiri said with a nod.

Ash flushed angrily. "I thought we agreed never to bring that up again…"

Yamiri continued his recitation. "The Third Law! 'Passion can sometimes rule reason, often with dire consequences.' Letting your emotions control your reason can cause trouble for yourself and those around you. Once more, that is not to say you shouldn't let your emotions have power, just don't allow them to overwhelm your good sense."

"Oh, like the time Pichu got his hand stuck in the cookie jar because he tried to pull out a lot of cookies rather than the one Mom said he could have, and he refused to let go of the cookies even though that was the only way he'd be able to get his paw out?" Ash asked.

Yamiri sweatdropped. "Not exactly what I had in mind, but I suppose that's a fairly good example. Er, anyway…the Fourth Law! 'There is magic in sincere forgiveness, for in forgiving others you heal them and yourself.' By truly forgiving someone else for their crimes, you ease the ache in their souls, and let go of some of the bitterness you held towards them or another in the process. If I had had any tears left, I would have wept at this, because I now understood the full extent of my sins, and wished for forgiveness so that I could end my sorrow and guilt. I continued studying, hoping that in the process I would somehow earn the mercy I craved…even if I wasn't sure I deserved it."

Ash frowned at this. "So…it's good to forgive someone for bad things they did?"

"If you feel they deserve to be forgiven, yes," said Yamiri.

"But what about barbarians? And murderers, and other Pokemon like that, and those people you were talking about that live in Treasure Town?" Ash argued. "What about the bad guys who kidnapped Misty and Gardevoir, and are threatening to destroy the world? What about their leader, who nearly _did _destroy the world a long time ago? Are you saying we should forgive them for all the stuff they've done?"

Yamiri nodded, understanding Ash's confusion and frustration. "It can be a hard thing to forgive someone who has done terrible things, especially to you personally. But sometimes, if you are capable of understanding what led them to do the things they did, you might be able to forgive them, or at least empathize with them. From my own experiences I have come to believe that if a being is truly sorry for the crimes they have committed in the past and actively seeks to make up for them, then he or she is truly deserving of forgiveness."

Pikachu nodded as Ash mulled this over. "That makes sense."

"And in any event," Yamiri continued with a smile. "Arceus forgives us for the mistakes we make, since He understands that we are imperfect and are still learning. He made us that way, after all."

"Why?" asked a puzzled Ash.

"If all beings were born perfect, what point would there be to life?" Pikachu countered. "We'd have no character or personality flaws to fix, no maturity to gain, no new experiences or things to learn. We would be incapable of growing, since we'd already have been made at our fullest potential. There would be nothing more for us to do. We'd be static rather than truly alive. Arceus made us imperfect so that we could grow, and learn, and become more than we started as, to be _better_ than perfect…even if we do screw up now and then along the way. It's the consequence of free will."

"Oh!" said the surprised Ash. "Yeah…now I get it, that makes sense." He frowned. "He must have a lot of faith in us to give us that much freedom. Do we deserve it?"

"We can try to, by living our life to its fullest," Yamiri said. "And the Fifth Law is a good way to show you deserve it: 'Mind what people do, not what they say, for their deeds will betray a lie.' People will often lie to deceive you from what they truly mean to do, but carefully watching their actions will often reveal their true intentions."

"I guess that's why Mom always knows when Pichu's lying about eating snacks before dinner," Pikachu commented. "His actions betray him."

"That, and the crumbs on his fur he never remembers to brush off," Ash added.

"The Sixth Law!" Yamiri continued. "'Let reason be your only sovereign.' What exists, exists, what is, is; all knowledge and life springs forth from this. Reason is a choice and the only way to grasp reality. While one can choose to reject reason and the effort of thinking, they always must face the consequences of willful ignorance. In rejecting reason, they reject the glory of life, and embrace death…for reason is truth. Half-truths and lies fuel all delusions and whims and make any depravity seem justifiable."

Pikachu nodded. "That sounds right, but it also sounds very difficult…it's hard not to be ruled by passion or feelings."

Yamiri shrugged. "Hence the third law, which says about the same thing. You're right, it isn't easy, but the truth, and life, rarely is. Overcoming difficulties and shortcomings is the only way a person can become better than themselves and truly grow and live."

"Reason…I'm not very good at that," Ash admitted. "I'm better at thinking with my heart or fists than my head."

"Well, that's why you have me around," Pikachu said with a smirk. "And maybe reading from that old book of yours will help you learn some more common sense."

"Let's hope," Ash agreed.

Yamiri frowned at this. "Hmm, you should be careful about that. The past can teach us much about how to accomplish things in the future, comfort us with cherished memories, and provide the foundation of what was already accomplished…but you must not cling to it too tightly, for as the Seventh Law says, 'Life is the future, not the past.' To live in the past is to embrace what is dead. To live life to its fullest, each day must be created anew."

Pikachu frowned at this. "Then are you saying we shouldn't hold on to what's come before? That centuries-old traditions and customs might be holding us back?"

Yamiri shook his head. "Not necessarily. As thinking beings, we must use our intellect rather than a blind devotion to what's come before to make rational choices. Listening to ancient wisdom is well and good, but if you believe so much in it that you ignore the present and future, which are what really matters, then you have a problem."

Ash tried to unravel this. "So…it's okay to emulate and learn from people from the past, so long as we don't go too far and forget who we are now…or something like that?"

Pikachu nodded. "That sounds about right."

"Something else which might sound right to warriors like you is the Eighth Law: 'Deserve victory.' Conflict is regrettable, but often inevitable. If you have no choice but to fight, make sure that you are committed to your cause and that you earn what you want and need rather than stealing it from others or waiting for them to give it to you. If you are to win, make sure that you are _worthy_ of victory, and that in winning you do not become like those whom you have defeated."

"So we have to stay true to ourselves and not become evil or win a battle through evil or dishonorable means, like our opponents might," Ash realized. "I can understand that."

"As can I," Pikachu agreed. "A lot of this is starting to sound like some of the Bushido code I follow."

Yamiri nodded. "The knowledge for your code comes from the same source as the Laws. I wouldn't be surprised if many of the rules the old Aura Guardians you seek to be like are similar to the Laws too, Ash. Many warriors and peoples have established codes and ways of life which emulate to some extent the words written on the Law Rock, thinking that since it's something Arceus suggested and to some extent wants from us, it's probably the right thing to go by. There is also a certain _rightness_ to following these guidelines, a sense of purpose, of life, which only makes sense since these Laws seek to _define_ life and explain how best to experience it. Those who reject the principles of the Laws, and life itself, only embrace death and become…well, like the barbarians or the mysterious adversary you seek to defeat in Sinnorre, focused on destruction rather than on nurturing and creating new life."

"Fascinating," Pikachu murmured.

"…Wait, then isn't this sort of going against that seventh law, and embracing the past too much?" asked a confused Ash.

Yamiri shrugged. "It came from Arceus, so no, it isn't. Since He's God, anything He says goes. That's why His relationship with Mew isn't incestuous, even though He created her, which would technically make Him her father were He anyone else."

"Oh," said a disturbed Ash, his mind boggling at the concept.

"Anyway…the Ninth Law!" Yamiri continued. "'Keep your promises, but be careful who you make them to.' It is a fine and honorable thing to use your word as your bond and do everything you can to keep a promise once made…but you must always be wary of the promises you make, or who you make them to, for your word, once given, cannot be taken back without penalty. By vowing to help a friend without thinking about what you are promising, you could find yourself doing something that goes against your nature, and will only result in suffering. Therefore, you should try not to make promises too freely, for it may only cause you pain in the end."

Ash looked uncomfortable at that. "I suppose I should try to make fewer promises, then…" he murmured, remembering how he had promised Gary and Misty's sisters that he would do whatever it took to find Misty and Gardevoir, and promised his mother he'd watch Pikachu's back. Both of those seemed like fine things on the surface, but was there a chance that he might have to do something unsavory to keep his word? He certainly hoped not.

"So honor can be turned against you…that's something we'll need to keep in mind," Pikachu muttered to himself. Like Ash, he also tried to keep his promises. It was the way of the samurai.

"You should also keep the Tenth Law in mind," Yamiri said, indicating the third-to-last line on the tablet. "'To willfully turn aside from the truth is treason to oneself.' I think we might have covered this topic a little already, but I'll go over it again. People who for whatever reason do not want to see the truth can be acutely hostile to it. They turn their antagonism on those who speak the truth, for they do not want to hear it and admit that they might be wrong. In doing so, they only betray themselves, for they believe in a groundless lie. The truth is rooted in reality, while lies spring from the imagination, and to choose the latter over the former will only doom yourself time and time again."

"Why exactly _do_ people not always want to believe the truth?" Ash questioned.

Yamiri shook his head sadly. "Because the truth is often hard and painful, and forces people to question their beliefs, reevaluate their lives, determine whether everything they have done up to that point really needed to be done. It is often easier to believe a lie…but, as I said, doing so will only cause you greater harm in the long run. Believing in a lie may keep you happy, but only the truth can set you free."

"What if you killed someone and lied to say you didn't? Wouldn't telling the truth about that only get you in jail, or dead?" Ash asked.

Yamiri frowned. "I meant free as in free of guilt. Not necessarily free of the consequences of your actions. That's sort of why it's a good idea not to commit a crime or tell a lie unless you really, _really_ need to."

Pikachu nodded. "That makes sense."

"The last two Laws, the Eleventh and Twelfth, are connected," Yamiri said, moving on to the final lines on his tablet.

"Weren't a lot of the others too? To some extent?" Ash asked.

"Yes, but these are the final Laws, so they're special," Yamiri explained.

"Oh," said Ash. "So what are they?"

"The Eleventh Law;" Yamiri began. "'Always remember that everything is connected.' When Arceus created the universe with Palkia and Dialga, He used strands of His fur to weave a web grander and more intricate than any which mortal limbs could even weave, greater even than those crafted by the Ariados Webmasters of Arachne Island. These strands of fur are called 'hyperstrings', and they connect every single object in the Omniverse, both living and inanimated, to everything else, so that all things are a part of the great design which Arceus wove."

"Why did he do that?" Ash asked.

"So that everything would, in some small way, be a part of everything else," Yamiri explained. "By connecting everything, nobody in this great Omniverse is truly alone. Not really. If they _look,_ and _listen,_ they can tune themselves in to the hyperstrings and make contact with others who are also aware. The distance between those people is irrelevant, since the hyperstrings are otherdimensional in nature, they can create networks and societies of people scattered across entire _multiverses!_" Yamiri spread his arms. "By connecting everyone, the infinite expanse of the Omniverse becomes a much smaller place. By just talking to someone else, whether in person or through the hyperstrings, you strengthen the connection between you and bring you that much closer together…metaphysically speaking, anyway. Arceus did this in hopes that one day the life he had created would evolve to the point where their connections had become strong enough to link the entire Omniverse together in a pan-universal community where all become one…or something like that."

"Ooh," said an impressed Ash.

"Yeah, that does sound neat," Pikachu agreed.

"But we haven't quite reached that point yet, so until then the Eleventh Law basically means that you should be aware that all events and people are connected. There are no coincidences, so if something happens there has to be a reason for it, though not always a good one. Similarly, there is usually a reason behind the actions people take, though it might also not always be a good one. Most importantly, you must remember that you are inextricably bound to everyone else you know, and everyone you don't know, since we are all part of the same great design which is Creation. That does not mean you should not fight or kill other people, despite being tied to them, because you might not always have a choice. Most people do not acknowledge the linkage between us all, and some that do try to use it to malicious ends. If you cannot reconcile with these people, then you have no choice but to defend yourself in whatever manner you possibly can. Arceus understands this, and forgives you for it."

"So…how does this actually change anything?" asked a confused Ash. "I'm connected somehow to the barbarians and the other guys we're going to go up against, but its okay for me to beat them anyway? What's the big deal?"

"The deal is that you might not be as different or separate from them as you think," Yamiri said warningly. "Even indirect actions can have far-reaching consequences, and you would be surprised by how much something you do without thinking about it one day can affect someone else on the other side of the globe you've never even met and possibly even bite you in the tail eventually. And not only that, it means you may be able to find friends in the most surprising places…since you may wind up running into people similar to you, sometimes uncomfortably so, in places you least expected to find them."

"Ah," said Ash, not really understanding. He'd probably get it in time, though. Maybe.

"And the final Law, one which I think you might find fairly relevant: 'Always remember that there are more worlds than this,'" Yamiri finished.

"Hey yeah, there are!" Ash realized. "I came from one!"

Yamiri nodded. "You certainly did, one where humans still live rather than just Pokemon, like in this world. The Omniverse is a vast place, and there are worlds beyond worlds scattered across it…and more worlds than you would think are like our own."

"They are?" asked a surprised Ash.

Pikachu nodded. "You didn't think that your world and this one were the only ones with Pokemon, did you? The Unown and other dimensional travelers have confirmed that there are hundreds of thousands of worlds in other universes parallel to our own which have Pokemon in them…and not only that, but a lot of those worlds are more similar to each other than you would think. There aren't that many where humankind was wiped out due to a great disaster, but there are a few, just like there are a few worlds where Pokemon were wiped out and now only humans reign, and worlds where humans and Pokemon live in harmony, and worlds where one species dominates and oppresses the other. There are even worlds where humans and Pokemon have literally come together to become some kind of hybrid of the two!"

"Whoa," said an astounded Ash, his mind struggling to grasp such a concept.

"And not only that…many of those worlds are so similar that they often have exact, or nearly exact, duplicates of everyone in another world, differing slightly or even in the extreme. That means there are other Ashes, other Pikachus, other Yamiris, other _everyones,_" Yamiri told them, his gemstone eyes glistening with joy.

"There's more than one of me?!" cried a startled Ash.

"In other universes, possibly," Pikachu said.

Ash frowned. "Wait, but then where's _this_ universe's Ash? Or am I him? But I came from another universe, so…or did I somehow fuse with _this_ world's Ash?!" He scratched his head in confusion. "I don't get it…"

"The ways in which other universes relate and overlap with each other are incredibly complex, and even the most brilliant scientists and theoreticians still have trouble understanding it all sometimes," Yamiri said sympathetically. "But we do know this: all these universes are so similar because they were, once upon a time, the same. They were birthed as one, but Arceus had Dialga split that single universe into several, each of which differed from the others in the slightest bit and so caused worlds that were mostly the same but also different in varying degrees to form. According to the Covenant of Arceus (the holy text of my Order), He did this to increase the amount of diversity in the Omniverse…and also because, presumably, He thought it would be fun to see how worlds and people and societies who were roughly similar fundamentally could be so different superficially, or vice versa. That is the wonder of having a multiverse, or more than one, after all."

"Then there _are_ other Ashes out there," Ash said slowly. "Who may or may not be friends with a Pikachu, and may or may not be human, who are trying to fight the good fight and be the best they can be?"

"Or sometimes the worst," Yamiri said gravely. "After all, if there are many worlds where parallel yous are heroes, then there must also be worlds where you are _evil_ too. What with the broad spectrum of possibilities which often crop up in a multiverse, it's almost inevitable that there will be at least one 'dark mirror' universe where everything you know to be good here is evil there, and vice versa."

Ash was chilled by that concept. "Whoa," he said quietly. He tried to shake it off. "Well, that's…that's pretty interesting, actually, but how does it affect us? I mean, we're not going to any other worlds soon…are we?"

"How do you know we're not?" Pikachu countered. "And in any event, other worlds are already involved in this. You're from one, after all. And for all we know, the bad guy might be too."

"Hey, yeah!" Ash said, his ears perking up. "Do you think so?"

"It's certainly one theory that's been batted about for years," Yamiri commented. "It could explain why, if he truly is still alive, why the Savior and the legendaries could not give him the punishment he deserved once the world was restored…he might have escaped back to the world of his origin and eluded their capture, and from there plotted his revenge and eventual return to our Earth."

"Huh…" murmured Ash. "Yeah…that could be it, couldn't it?"

"And for all we know, the Savior might come again to aid us," Yamiri said optimistically. "Though that shouldn't be something we hope for too much, since it's rather unlikely, but still…you two encountered one of his agents a few months ago, didn't you?"

The duo nodded. "Yeah, in Meteor Cave," said Ash.

Pikachu nodded. "It said it was one of Deoxys' probes, sent to gather information from our world. It also said that it was one of trillions, all grown from Deoxys' flesh and dispatched throughout the Omniverse to collect data and bring it back to their creator."

Yamiri smiled. "That fits in with what historical records say about him…Deoxys, the true Deoxys, is an interdimensional traveler who goes from universe to universe in search of knowledge, fixing problems and saving worlds whenever he comes across one in distress. But since the Omniverse is such a vast place and he can only be in one place at a time, he regularly spawns probe 'offspring' to fly out across the universes to collect information and alert him if a crisis is in progress which he might be able to help resolve. That is how he was able to save our own world so many centuries ago…one of his probes by sheer chance managed to pass by the Earth just as our unknown enemy was about to destroy the planet utterly and signaled its master to come and intervene. Were it not for that, none of us would ever have come into being…" He smirked. "Then again, perhaps it was not chance. After all, did I not say there are no such things as coincidences? It was the arrival of one of Deoxys' probes which saved us before…and another one passed through our world just a few months ago. I don't suppose it's still somewhere nearby?"

Ash and Pikachu shrugged. "We have no idea, really," Ash admitted. "It sort of disappeared after we fought it…hey, why'd it challenge us to a battle, anyway, if it's the probe of some cosmic do-gooder?"

"It said something about collecting life-form data after we made the initial introductions," Pikachu recalled. "And then after several minutes of us pounding on it…and it not really doing much to defend himself…it said it had collected sufficient data and teleported away. Kind of weird."

Ash shrugged. "Well, it was just a probe. Maybe it wasn't supposed to be intelligent?"

"If you see him again, you should probably ask him, or it," Yamiri said. "In any event, this only serves to prove the point I was trying to make: there are many more worlds than this, and while each of them is separated from the other spatially, they are all closer than you might think, and travel between them is surprisingly frequent. As I said before, they are connected, just like everything else. As a result, what affects one world may affect another one, too. That is why I would not be surprised if, in your journey, you do not only save this world…but possibly others, too, and deal with beings from other worlds. And when you do so, you must remember that, no matter how alien they may appear, they may not be as different as you might think." He turned back towards the tablet behind him. "After all, as the Law Rock stated when I stood before it, the one on our world is just one of many, presumably Arceus deposited one on every world when the Omniverse was still young so that future life-forms would eventually realize that we shared the same creator, the same past…the same destiny." He shook his head. "If more people, even on our own world, realized this and did not keep turning away from the truth, there would be much less conflict across reality."

"The same past…the same destiny…" Ash murmured. "That's pretty deep."

"Thank you, I adapted it from a fortune cookie," said the pleased Yamiri. Ash and Pikachu facefaulted.

"So, you spent twelve days and nights before the Rock, comprehending its mysteries. What did you do when you were finished with that?" Pikachu asked once they had gotten back on their feet.

"Well, after that I rose with the intention of spreading what I had learned to the rest of the world, and discovered I was dead," Yamiri told them.

Ash started. "You were dead?!"

"Well, of course I was," said Yamiri as if it were obvious. "I'd been kneeling for twelve days and nights without food, water, or shelter in one of the coldest places in the planet, constantly bombarded by snow, hail, and icy winds. What did you expect to happen?"

"Uh…" Ash said, unable to think of a clever reply to that.

"It must have been quite a shock," Pikachu interjected.

Yamiri nodded. "It certainly was, especially since my frozen corpse was right there next to me! But I quickly recovered and realized that Arceus must have had a reason for making me a Ghost rather than transporting my soul to the Celestial Heavens, so I decided to make the best of my situation and become a Holy Ghost. I trekked back to civilization and joined the Arcean Order to gain further education on the nature of Creation and better understand my religious experience up in the north. After finishing my education and becoming a Father, I returned to Treasure Town, ambitiously hoping to give the place of my birth the same spiritual transformation which I had undergone. It…didn't go well."

"They ran you out of town on a rail, didn't they?" Pikachu said sympathetically.

Yamiri nodded sadly. "Yes, they weren't very conducive to proselytizing…or being told that if they changed the way they were living they could be happier. I tried quite a few times, regardless, until they threatened to hire an exorcist to banish me, and I left…understanding in the process why everyone else in the Order had given up Treasure Town as a lost cause and were skeptical when I explained my intentions to fix it." He shrugged. "So, I changed my style and came to Pokemon Square instead, which turned out to be just the right decision. I've been here ever since, and have helped the people of this town find peace in their lives for the last four hundred years. It's a good afterlife. I can't think of many things I'd rather be doing." He sighed. "Other than redeeming Treasure Town…but while I know nothing is impossible—after all, _I_ was changed—I don't really know if there's anything that can be done for that wretched place."

"Why is it like that?" Ash asked. "I mean, why exactly is everyone there so depressed and miserable all the time?"

Yamiri frowned as he floated down to the floor. "That's a question Pokemon in the Order and elsewhere have been asking for hundreds of years. It can't just be an economic recession, since those rarely last as long as the depression in Treasure Town has. It almost seems as if there's something inherently wrong with the minds of the Pokemon who live there, or with the town itself. There has been talk now and then of a possible curse, but I never really gave that theory much creed, until…" He trailed off.

"Until what?" Pikachu pressed.

He glanced at the swordsmouse. "Until just yesterday, when I heard that you were going to Treasure Town to save your friends and find the seven keys to the treasure buried beneath it. Like everyone who was born in Treasure Town, I heard the legend of that infamous treasure, but after spending years looking for it, I gave up just like everyone else had, and decided it was probably just a rumor, another piece of false hope to make everyone's lives that much more miserable. After I left town to become a mercenary, I didn't give it a second thought, not even when I returned to try and help the people there. But now…" He tapped his claws together thoughtfully. "Now I'm beginning to wonder if perhaps the treasure itself, whatever it is, is responsible for Treasure Town's sorry state."

"That actually makes sense," Ash said. "Gardevoir's letter mentioned that she sensed some bad vibes off the big door the thing's locked behind. I bet that if I looked at the thing's Aura, I'd get the same impression."

Pikachu nodded in agreement. "Whatever's behind that door must not be freed."

"All the more reason, then, for the two of you to succeed in your quest," Yamiri told the brothers. "Not only to keep evil hands from using this treasure to destroy the world, but also perhaps…just perhaps…to save Treasure Town from itself, to give the despairing Pokemon there real hope for the future…if you could do that, then my afterlife's work would be complete, and I could leave this mortal coil to seek further enlightenment on higher planes." He chuckled. "I hope I wouldn't have to leave right away, though…I've grown rather attached to this burg, and the people who live here."

"And we've gotten attached to you, Father," Pikachu said warmly. "The town wouldn't be the same if you left."

"Yeah, we'd have to make Gary a priest if we wanted another Holy Ghost, and I don't think anyone wants that," Ash joked.

"Let alone Gary," Pikachu agreed. "Or Mary, for that matter."

Ash frowned. "Hey, yeah. Father, are members of the Order…er…"

Yamiri laughed. "Thankfully, no. We honor and celebrate life in all its forms, and what better way to do that and create more life than to…well, you know."

"Ah," said Ash. "So Ghosts can, uh…"

"We can do a lot of the things you mortal folk can," said Yamiri with a grin. "And more! Though there are some drawbacks…" He grimaced. "For one thing, I'm vulnerable to crazy ghost hunters and exorcists who think all spirits should be banished from this Earth. And I'm allergic to onions."

Ash blinked. "You're allergic to onions?"

Yamiri nodded. "Yes, getting anywhere near them causes me to cough uncontrollably and break out in a rather painful rash in all sorts of uncomfortable places."

"Note to self: give onions to Gary and see what happens," Ash muttered to himself.

"I thought you were friends now," Pikachu complained.

"We are, but friends can still play pranks on each other," Ash retorted. "At least, I assume that's the reason why you stuck that whoopee cushion filled with ice water on my chair at dinner last night."

"That was Pichu," Pikachu said.

Ash blinked. "Oh. Er, if that's the case, you probably shouldn't open your closet door anytime soon…" Pikachu facepalmed.

Yamiri chuckled. "The strength of your brotherhood is truly admirable…yes, my children, I think that if anyone can save your friends, and the world, it is you. Come." He gestured to the candles at the foot of the great statue of Arceus. "Sit with me for a while. Keep an old ghost company. We will pray to the gods for victory in the battles to come."

And that's what they did. And when, about an hour or so later, they left the temple, Ash was still not completely sold on this religion thing…but he couldn't deny that he almost thought he had felt something back there, when they had meditated before the great stone idol. Something which made him feel better about what they were doing, and more confident that they would succeed. It might have just been general positive feelings coming from the post-meditation calm, or it could have been something more.

The priest had said there were more worlds than this one out there. Maybe Ash would get to see one of them, after all. Maybe even the one he'd come from. Who knew? He might even run into Arceus in the process. There was no reason that couldn't happen.

After all, wasn't everything connected?

…

A few hours later…

The Waillord was enormous, as most of its species were, befitting their status as the largest Pokemon in the world. It was over fifteen meters tall and weighed more than four hundred kilograms, a big blimp-shaped blue and gray mass with small beady eyes, a huge mouth and throat lined with grooves, and two pairs of fins on each side of its body with a single horizontal tail on the back. The giant Float Whale Pokemon was currently floating in the water just off the end of Pokemon Square's wharf, its gaping mouth open to allow some of the dock workers to shovel fish into its maw while Ash, Pikachu, and what seemed like half the people in town watched from a safe distance.

"Wow," said an amazed Ash. "That's one big fish."

"Actually, Waillord are mammals just like you," the Mayor, who was swimming in the water next to the wharf, corrected Ash.

Ash blinked. "But…they're big and hairless and all fish-like! And live underwater and stuff. They don't look anything like me!"

"Actually, they _do_ have a little hair when they're very young, but then it falls out," the Mayor said. "And they're not fish, they don't have scales, and they can't stay underwater indefinitely like I can, they need to occasionally surface for air. This makes them mammals. Interestingly enough, they're of the 'Ground' egg group, which allows them to breed with land Pokemon, even ones much smaller than them."

Ash blinked. "Wait, what? How do they do that?! They're huge!"

The Mayor coughed. "Well, you see…Waillord have extendable prehensile penises that-"

"That's more than we really wanted to know," a very disturbed Pikachu interrupted, eyes wide in horror and disgust.

"I guess that explains how that Skitty and Waillord couple I heard about once had kids," Raiki, who was standing just behind his two sons, commented.

Everyone within hearing range flinched at that. "Wow, thanks for the mental image, Dad," Ash grumbled.

"Dear, Pichu might have heard that!" Delia hissed. "You're just lucky his short attention span is currently occupied by that shiny piece of tin foil you gave him earlier or else he might have gotten certain…_ideas…_"

"Sorry, honey," Raiki apologized, shamefaced.

"Shiny…" Pichu, who was staring at a piece of crinkled tin foil in his hands, drooled, oblivious to everything that was going on around him.

"So, how exactly is this big guy going to get us to Sinnorre again?" Ash asked a little nervously, increasing his grip on one of the straps of the tightly packed knapsack on his back carrying most of the things he was bringing on this journey.

"Well lad, it's like this," Scotty spoke up. "At some point in time, Waillord developed, either through natural selection or genetic modification, the ability tae rearrange their innards and make them habitable in the short-term fer the likes of us. This makes Waillord perfect aquatic transports tae take traveling Pokemon across the oceans tae distant lands and climes if'n ye don't have a boat capable of making the trip."

Ash blinked. "Wow. I had no idea something like that was possible."

"Yes, well, there are a lot of things about Pokemon biology which would seem rather impossible if you didn't have an open mind," Nurse Joy told the Lucario. "Such as how blowing out the fire on the tail of any of the Charmander evolution line kills them just about instantly, or how Pokemon who look completely different from each other and would even appear to be of different genuses are capable of mating, and how mammalian Pokemon lay eggs rather than give live birth like humans were reputed to, or-"

"I get the picture," Ash interrupted. "So we'll be able to travel to Sinnorre safely inside that thing? And it won't eat us or anything?"

Scotty laughed in Ash's face. "Nay, lad, do ye know nothing of whales? Waillord only eat fish and shrimp, their digestive systems cannae handle big strapping bonnie boys like yerselves! The only danger ye'll be having is running out of air if yer friend there stays underwater for too long…" The Abra frowned. "Or if ye pass out from the smell…"

"We've both had extensive training in scent suppressant," Pikachu assured Scotty. "So we should be able to ignore the smell of fish for the duration of the trip."

Scotty chuckled darkly. "Let's see if ye'll be singing that same tune after ye've been soaked in fish stink fer over a week…"

"We're going to be underwater that long?!" asked an alarmed Pikachu.

"No, just a few days…_if_ all goes well," the Mayor said ominously.

Ash and Pikachu grimaced. "Gee, thanks for jinxing us…" Ash muttered.

The Mayor sweatdropped. "Whoops…sorry…"

"Boss, you sure you don't want us to come with you?" Ash and Pikachu's friend, Lucas the Sceptile, asked Ash, the ever-present twig in his mouth shifting up and down as he talked. "There's more than enough room in there for most of us…"

"And I'm sure Lucas-kun and I could get a room all to ourselves," Lucas' somewhat obsessive girlfriend Mika the Meganium said happily, looping a Vine Whip around Lucas' shoulder and pulling him close to her…maybe a little _too_ close, judging from how the Sceptile was having some trouble breathing.

"We could even swim alongside, mates, it's not a problem," Bruce the Crawdaunt spoke up. Ash's other friends who were not Water Pokemon frowned at him. "Well, not for _me_ anyway…"

Ash shook his head. "We appreciate the offer, but no thanks, you guys. You're needed here more!"

Pikachu nodded in agreement. "Pokemon Square's going to need as many strong warriors as it can get to repel the impending barbarian invasion, and you guys are some of the strongest ones around! You'd definitely be a big help if you came with us, but the town needs your talents more than we do."

Grumbling, their friends reluctantly agreed they had a point. Lucas, Mika, Bruce, and the rest of Ash and Pikachu's friends there were not technically affiliated with any Rescue Team, but were strong fighters in their own right and occasionally one or two of them temporarily joined Team Aurabolt for particularly dangerous missions. "I guess so," Lucas said with a sigh. "Well…all right boss, we'll stay behind and keep an eye on things while you're gone, okay?"

"Yeah, nothing bad'll happen as long as we're around!" Mika assured the duo.

Bruce sighed. "It's probably for the best anyway…the ladies here in town need me more, and I hear all the bloody whores over in Treasure Town have STDs. Wouldn't do well for the biggest pimp in Pokemon Square to get laid up with one of those, though I'm sure our darling Nurse Joy could fix me up in a dandy, couldn't you missy?" He winked sexily at Nurse Joy, causing her to blush and giggle uncontrollably, much to the distaste of her nearby children. Ash, Pikachu, and pretty much everyone else sweatdropped, wondering as always just what gave Bruce such an incredible sex appeal…especially when it came to pink Pokemon.

"We'll keep an eye on things too, Ash," Gary assured his ex-rival, his teammates nodding in agreement behind him. "So that when Gardevoir--er, I mean you and everyone else--comes back, the town'll still be safe and sound!"

Ash smiled gratefully. "Thanks Gary, that means a lot to me!" He made a mental note not to expose Gary to onions after all. At least not until after they got back home and everything had settled down again.

Gary nodded and posed dramatically "Yeah, nothing's gonna happen on my watch!"

There was a tremendous explosion from somewhere in town, around the vicinity of Team Nightshade's base. As everyone turned to watch the rising cloud of smoke and flame in horror and disbelief, Gary, frozen in his pose, glared at his teammates out of the corner of his eye. "Someone forgot to turn off the gas again, didn't he?"

Evan laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his head with his tail. "Uh, oopsss."

Mary moaned and facepalmed. "This is the third time this month…and the month just started last week!" Everyone sweatdropped.

"Don't worry," Chuck the Makuhita murmured into Ash's ear in a very low tone. "I'll keep an eye on _them_, too, just to make sure they don't slack off or do anything…you know, embarrassing." Ash nodded imperceptibly, and his teacher smirked and winked at him. At least, Ash thought he winked; it was rather hard to tell since the Makuhita's eyes were always closed. "We'll keep everything under control. You can count on us. Come back soon, and show those villains the power of a true fighting master, will you?"

"And cut off some heads too, son. That sort of thing is always cool," Raiki told his son solemnly and with a straight face.

Pikachu snickered. "Sure thing, Dad. I'll even bring one or two back as trophies."

"Ooh, really?" Raiki said, apparently not telling his son was joking…or maybe he was just playing along, it was sometimes hard to tell with the Raichu's sense of humor. "That would be awesome! We could mount them on the wall and everything!"

"Dear!" Delia hissed.

"What? You didn't complain when I mounted the severed hand of Gophunga the Unrelenting after I cut it off and he relented!" Raiki protested.

"There's a big difference between severed hands and severed heads!" she argued.

"Daddy, when can I cut off someone's head and hand?" Pichu asked his father.

"Soon enough, my boy. Soon enough," Raiki told his youngest son, causing his wife to roll her eyes in exasperation.

"May Arceus' blessings and the Guardians protect you," Father Yamiri told the brothers, taking each of their hands briefly while protecting himself from the sun with a parasol. "You will certainly need it, in that most unholy and unlawful of places."

Ash nodded. "We'll see about bringing some law and order to that place, while we're at it. Might as well."

"Yeah, not like we don't have enough on our shoulders already," Pikachu joked.

Yamiri nodded and bowed slightly to the both of them. "I hope the two of you fare better than I did…you wouldn't believe how many assassination attempts the townspeople made on my afterlife after I tried setting up my own little church in the ghetto!"

Pikachu frowned. "I thought Ghosts couldn't be killed."

"Not for lack of trying, I assure you," Yamiri said deadpan. "But you two are mortal and therefore far more vulnerable than I…and you may be doing something far more dangerous than I ever did, so be careful. Always watch your backs. And remember, you can't really trust anyone who lives there, because more likely to literally stab you in the back than talk to you or suffer your attempts to get information from them."

"You lived there, and we can trust you," Ash pointed out.

"Yes, well, I'm not exactly _alive_ anymore, now am I?" Yamiri reminded them. The duo had to admit he had a good point.

"The both of you have a good time, now," Mr. Giovanni said, shaking their paws. "Try not to spend too much of your money, you wouldn't want to have to purchase a loan from me if you ran out of cash considering how high my interest rates are, and I hear the banks over there are _killers_…literally…" _Oh, and do be sure to get yourselves killed, would you? It'd make things so much easier for me…hehehehe. Hahahaha! Ahahahahahaha! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!_

"Mr. Giovanni, why are you laughing maniacally?" asked a disturbed Pikachu.

Giovanni froze, realizing everyone was staring at him. "Oh damn, did I do that out loud again? I really should see someone about that…"

"Don't worry, I have something that can help!" Nurse Joy said cheerfully, pulling a HUGE white pill that was at least twice the size of one of her eggs out of her pouch.

Giovanni's eyes bulged out of their sockets. "Uh, no, wait, I'm feeling better already, that won't be necessaryGAUUGHHUHGFFGHHUU" he gargled as Nurse Joy grabbed him by the whiskers and shoved the tablet down his throat, with a bit of effort since the pill was so big it actually got stuck a few times so she had to punch the inside of the Persian's mouth repeatedly to make it go down.

"There, all better!" Joy said triumphantly as Giovanni lay on the ground, twitching and gurgling as foam dribbled out of his mouth. Everyone sweatdropped.

"Mom really needs to work on her bedside manner…" one of Joy's children muttered.

"Please don't let her give me any pills," Matthias Shorttail, currently in a body cast and laid out on a cart pushed by one of Joy's Happinies, begged the Playhouse Pokemon desperately. "That thing was bigger than _I_ am…"

"Well, boys, I think it's just about time for you to go," the Mayor said, noticing the Waillord appeared to be swallowing the food the dock workers had fed him and said workers were heading back towards them. "Your vessel's just about all fueled up and ready to go. Any last thoughts?"

"Actually, yeah," Ash admitted. "I'm fairly confident about what we're doing, but…even with this map, the knowledge that Turtle Town's the first stop on our treasure hunt, and that Professor Oak guy for a lead, there's still so much we don't know about what we need to do in Sinnorre. I wish Sabrina could have told us a little more about our future…"

"Then it is a good thing I am here, yes?" Sabrina asked from right beside Ash, causing him to yelp and jump in the air.

"Where did you come from?" asked a surprised Pikachu.

"Over there," the Xatu said, gesturing back to shore with one wing.

"No, I mean…um…never mind," said Pikachu, deciding it wasn't worth it.

"Sabrina! What are you still doing here? I thought you went back to your hermitage yesterday!" said the surprised Mayor.

"I was going to, but I sensed that I was still needed here," Sabrina said dramatically. "Plus, my favorite clothing store has a week-long sale going on, and I couldn't possibly miss out on a moment of that!" Everyone facefaulted.

"Right…" said Raiki after everyone got back on their feet. "So, you said you were still needed here?"

"Do you have anything new to tell the boss?" Lucas asked hopefully.

"Or us, perhaps, on the matter of defending the town from the impending invasion?" Chuck asked.

"Or whether Gardevoir's okay? And that other girl, too?" Gary asked frantically.

"Or when Team A.C.T. is coming back?" Charla, Charizard's wife, asked anxiously.

"Or that hottie Aaron?" one of Aaron's many fangirls spoke up, causing all the others to squeal at a high enough pitch to break glass and babble incoherently.

"This morning, while I was using my clairvoyance to look for a bra in my size, I had another premonition!" Sabrina announced. "One which I knew that Ash and Pikachu would need to hear at once if they were to succeed in their quest!"

"Then why did you wait until now to tell it to us?" asked Pikachu.

"Because right after that I found several bras in my size and had trouble figuring out which one went best with my feathers." Everyone facefaulted again.

"So, uh, what's your premonition?" Ash asked.

Sabrina spread her wings dramatically. The sky darkened as storm clouds swirled together out of nowhere, rumbling ominously as lightning forked down and thunder cracked. Sabrina's eyes began to glow, and she levitated into the air as an eerie aura formed around her. A strong wind picked up, blowing everyone's fur back, sending some Hoppip flying, and turning the surface of Firefly Bay rough and choppy. As everyone watched on in alarm and trepidation, Sabrina's beak opened and, in a voice of dread power, intoned, _**"YOU'LL HAVE A **_**SHELL**_** OF A TIME GETTING THE FIRST TREASURE KEY IF YOU DON'T HAVE A SHELL!"**_

They stared at her. Ash blinked. "…Huh?"

Abruptly, the atmosphere changed back to normal. The wind stopped, the water smoothed, the sky cleared, and Sabrina stopped glowing and dropped back down to the wharf. "And that's all."

"…I don't get it," said a confused Pikachu.

"That's it?! That's your prophecy?!" cried an indignant Ash.

"Yes," said Sabrina. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go to the shoe store. I've foreseen there's some comfortable new flip-flops on sale and they'll be sold out if I don't get there before everyone else." She hopped off the side of the wharf and levitated away.

"…What the fuck?!" shouted the incredulous Bruce.

"Well, that was completely useless," Mika complained.

"Crazy bitch," Gary muttered.

Raiki sighed. "Not that surprising, really. Prophecies are rarely clear-cut. I'd be astonished if even she understood what she just said."

"Then what're we supposed to do about it? That was a total waste of time!" Ash shouted.

"Not necessarily," Yamiri corrected him. "That premonition may be more useful than you think. You just haven't gotten to the point in time where it will help you yet."

"If you say so," Ash grumbled skeptically.

"A shell of a time?" Pikachu murmured to himself, trying to decipher the riddle. "Well, we certainly don't have shells…are we supposed to get some? Where would we do that?"

"You'll probably understand when the time is right," the Mayor assured the brothers. "And speaking of which, the time is right for you two to be going!"

"Huh?!" Team Aurabolt whirled around and saw that the Waillord's mouth was open and it had extended its tongue to touch the tip of the wharf.

"All aboard!" the great whale called in deep, resonant tones. "The tide's about to change and I want to get a move on before it becomes too difficult for me to leave!"

"Right," Ash said, putting all thoughts of Sabrina's confusing prophecy in the back of his mind for the time being. "It's time for us to go. Come on, Pikachu."

Pikachu nodded. "Very well. Mother, Father, Pichu, everyone…thanks for coming to see us off. We really appreciate it."

Raiki smirked. "How could we not come? We all know how important this is." He frowned. "Except for Misty's sisters…where are they, anyway?"

"I believe they had an appointment to get their hair done about now and forgot that this was when Ash and Pikachu were leaving to rescue their little sister," Mary the Medicham spoke up. Everyone rolled their eyes.

"Typical," Gary grumbled. "Glad to see they have their priorities as screwed up as usual, unlike some people, by which I mean myself." Everyone rolled their eyes again.

"Both of you take care of yourselves now," Delia said, hugging both Ash and Pikachu. "I packed a little something special for you to eat in both of your bags if you get a little homesick." She pulled away from her sons, eyes glistening as she tried not to cry. "Please come back soon…and, though I know it's probably impossible, could you _try_ not to get into too much trouble?"

Pikachu smirked. "We'll see what we can do, Mother."

"Though you're right, it probably _is_ impossible, considering our luck," Pikachu added.

"Bye-bye, Big Brothers! Bring me back lots of candy and toys and stuff!" Pichu chirped.

"Sure thing!" Pikachu lied while Ash shook his head and mouthed 'No way' to him.

"A safe journey and many successful fights in the future for both of you," Chuck wished them well.

"Try not tae get yerselves killed before ye save the world," Scotty said gruffly to cover up how much he was worried about the two brothers.

"And remember to follow the Twelve Laws to the best of your ability, they will serve you well!" Father Yamiri added.

"You don't need to worry about anything, boss, we'll take care of things while you're gone!" Lucas promised Ash, giving him a thumb's-up.

"And if you see any hot ladies in Sinnorre, give 'em my number!" Bruce prompted.

"We'll hold you to that!" Ash replied, giving a thumb's-up back, or the best facsimile he could make with his paws.

"And Bruce…ew. No," said Pikachu with a frown.

Bruce shrugged. "Eh, worth a try."

"Tell Gardevoir that I lo—er, am really looking forward to seeing her again soon, safe and sound!" Gary cried, changing his wording mid-sentence and causing Mary's eye to twitch. He didn't notice.

"When you get into town, check in with my cousin, Nurse Joy," Nurse Joy suggested. "She's sort of the black Mareep of the family, but if you tell her I sent you she'll take care of you…I hope."

"She also might-" One of the Happiny started.

"Hush dear, they should find that out for themselves," Joy whispered to her daughter. Ash and Pikachu gave each other uneasy looks.

"Um, excuse me? I don't mean to interrupt your long and drawn-out farewells, but…the tide? Need to go? Now?" the Waillord said.

"Oh, right! Come on!" Ash turned back to everyone. "All right, I guess this is it. We'll be back as soon as possible, with Misty and Gardevoir in tow."

"Take care of things in our absence and try not to let the town get totally demolished or anything while we're gone, okay?" Pikachu asked jokingly.

"We'll do our best, though we make no promises!" Raiki joked back with a grin.

Ash and Pikachu ran down the wharf and hopped onto the Waillord's tongue, which retracted into the giant not-a-fish's mouth. "Goodbye! We'll be back soon!" Ash called.

"And we'll try not to get ourselves killed in the process!" Pikachu added.

Their friends waved and shouted farewells to the departing warriors as the Waillord's flippers dipped into the water and started propelling it away from the wharf.

"Goodbye!"

"Take care!"

"Have a good time!"

"Make sure to eat enough, and seek warm shelter at night!"

"Bring me back a severed head or hand!"

"Try not to catch any STDs while you're over there, and if you do, try not to infect the womenfolk here with them, that'd really cramp my business!"

The departing heroes and the friends and family they were leaving behind waved at each other for a while and continued to shout good wishes and encouragements back and forth until the Waillord finally closed its mouth, cutting off both groups' views of each other, turned about, and dove into the water, fluking and raising its tail into the air briefly before it vanished into the depths of Firefly Bay, heading out to sea.

The Mayor sighed. "Arceusspeed, boys…you will be greatly missed."

"Don't worry," said Sabrina, who was hovering inches off the surface of the water next to him. "They will be fine…and we might be too, for I had another premonition which I did not tell them."

The Whiscash frowned at the seer. "Why not?"

"Because it is something I thought should be kept a secret…for now, anyway." Sabrina gazed down at the Mayor with her perceptive, far-seeing eyes.

"Hmm…" The Mayor's whiskers twitched at this. "Very well. Tell me! What have you seen in our future?"

"Aaron is not the only great warrior who will be coming to Pokemon Square to help us," Sabrina said. "Another one, far more powerful than him, will also come…if we can successfully call her."

"A more powerful warrior? Who?!" the Mayor demanded.

Sabrina bowed her head until her beak touched the wings folded over her chest. "The Guardian of Light…"

…

"I apologize about the smell, fellas," the Waillord's voice reverberated throughout the great hollow dome-shaped chamber making up his mouth. "I hope neither of you are allergic to fish or anything, because you're gonna be dealing with a _lot_ of them over the next few days."

"That's okay," Ash assured their host. "We can deal with the smell. And the taste."

Pikachu nodded. "We've been through worse." He glanced around. "So…how is it we're able to see in here? Those glowing patches on the ceiling, or rather, the roof of your mouth can't possibly be lightbulbs…"

"Bioluminescent organs," the Waillord explained. "I grew them so that any passengers I carried would be able to see while inside of me."

"You grew them?" asked an amazed Ash.

"Yeah. What, you mean land-dwellers can't grow new organs or rearrange their insides whenever they want to?" the Waillord asked.

Pikachu shook his head. "Not really…"

This was clearly a big surprise to their host. "Whoa. Really? You land-dwellers are weirder than I imagined…"

Ash smirked. "We could say the same of you, big guy. So, where will we be staying for the duration of our trip? Your tongue's pretty soft, but I'm not sure we can sleep on something so…wet…" He didn't add how disconcerting it would be to sleep on something which might flick you down the back of a giant Pokemon's throat and eat you in a heartbeat if it decided that you tasted pretty good.

"Just go down the corridor," the Waillord said, the esophagus tube at the back of his mouth expanding so that both of the brothers would be able to fit through it. "I've inflated some of my cells on the side to make a room that should be comfy enough for the two of you. When we get out into deeper water, I can make parts of my skin transparent as well so that you can see where we're going and take a gander at all the marine wildlife and underwater scenery we'll be passing by."

This astonished the brothers. "You can do that?!" cried Ash.

"Yeah. Oh, wait, is that a problem?" the Waillord asked, sounding concerned. "Are you some of those weird land-dwellers who are hydrophobic or something? I could keep my skin opaque if it would make you feel better."

"No, no, that's fine," Pikachu said quickly. "We're just, well, pretty impressed that you can do something like that."

This surprised the Waillord. "Really? You mean there aren't any Pokemon on land that can do that trick?"

"None that we've ever been eaten by," Ash said truthfully.

"Wow," said the Waillord. "You really do learn something new every day, don't you?"

Pikachu glanced through the esophagus tube opening. "So…we won't get eaten if we go down there, right?"

"Nah, you two are too big for me to digest, if I tried I'd probably screw up my stomachs and die or something," the Waillord assured them, which only made the duo more worried, since they knew they'd probably die too if that happened, especially if they were in very deep water far away from land at the time.

"So, um, what's your name?" Ash asked, changing the subject. "I mean, if we're going to be spending the next few days together, we might as well get to know each other better."

"Oh, you can call me Willy. Willy the Waillord, of Southern Blue pod," the Waillord informed his new friends. "And you guys are Ash and Pikachu, right? The Mayor mentioned your names in his letter."

"Yeah, that's us," said Ash.

"Pardon me if this is rude, but…you can read? The style of lettering land Pokemon use, I mean," asked a surprised Pikachu.

"Well, no, I can't actually read…we don't really have writing materials or anything like that in the ocean," Willy admitted. "But the mail-Pelipper which delivered the letter was nice enough to read it to me and bring back my reply. When I found out you two were on a big mission to save some friends and maybe even the world, I knew I just had to help! This is the sort of heroic adventure I've been hearing about in whalesong epics all my life, I knew that if I became a part of it, I'd _definitely_ be able to attract some ladies! Er, not to imply that I had some selfish motivation to help you guys or something…"

The brothers laughed. "It's okay, we don't mind," Pikachu said. "We'd be glad to help you attract some attention. It's the least we could do, seeing as how you were nice enough to agree to ferry us to Sinnorre in the first place."

"Maybe we can help Pikachu get some tips on picking up ladies too," Ash joked.

Pikachu rolled his eyes. "Oh, you're one to talk, Mr. I'm-in-love-with-Misty-but-too-dense-to-realize it."

Ash's face flushed. "I am _not_ in love with Misty!"

"Suuuure you're not," Pikachu said sarcastically.

"I've never met this Misty, but I think you're in love with her too," Willy commented.

"Dammit," Ash growled, turning bright red as both Willy and Pikachu laughed at him. "Why does everyone keep _saying_ that?!"

"Because it's true?" Pikachu joked, causing Willy to start laughing again.

Ash's eye twitched. He got the feeling this was going to be a _very_ long trip…and he wasn't sure if even reading _Secrets of an Aura Master_ would keep him calm enough to stop him from murdering his companions…

…

After Willy the Waillord had swum out to sea, everyone on the wharf had disbanded and gone back to doing other things while Sabrina and the Mayor whispered conspiratorially to each other. This sort of thing happened all the time, so nobody was especially bothered by it, and expected that they'd learn what the two were talking about eventually.

Team Nightshade, with nothing else to do at the moment since their burning HQ was still being tended to by the Fire Brigade, was wandering around Pokemon Square talking about deep philosophical matters.

"What do you sssuppossse cloudsss tassste like?" Evan wondered, looking up at the sky.

"Nothing, since clouds are just visible masses of droplets or frozen crystals floating in the atmosphere above the surface of the Earth," Mary replied.

"I think it tassstesss like cotton candy," Evan countered.

Mary rolled her eyes. "If it did, it'd be _wet_ cotton candy."

Evan grimaced. "Ew. Wet cotton candy is grosss. It'sss all sssoggy and drippy and getsss everywhere and ssstuff."

"How can the both of you be talking about something as frivolous as what clouds taste like at a time like this?!" Gary snapped, whirling on his two teammates. "Pokemon Square could be attacked at any minute by vile barbarians, we're lacking some of the strongest fighters in town who would have been able to help us repel them, the Shield Wall is apparently destined to fail at some point in the future, the magnificent and beautiful Gardevoir has been kidnapped by some horrible monster who intends to use her in some horrible plot to destroy the world and who _knows_ what other awful things he has in mind, and we're stuck here while Ash and Pikachu are out saving her in my…I mean, _our_ place! Oh, and clouds totally taste like marshmallows."

"Do not," Evan grumbled.

"I thought you were okay with us staying behind," said Mary. "Protecting the town while some of our heaviest hitters are gone is a big responsibility. And you know we can trust Ash and Pikachu to get the job done."

"I know that!" Gary said with a frustrated sigh. "It's just…I'm really worried for Gardevoir. I know Ash and Pikachu will do everything they can to rescue her, but I'm worried that they'll be too late, or that something bad will happen, or-"

"Or she'll fall for one of them for rescuing her instead of you?" Mary asked softly.

Gary looked down at his feet. "Yeah…"

"Ha, like that'd ever happen, ssshe'sss way too dumb—er, innocent to do that," Evan quickly amended when Gary glared at him with evil glowing red eyes. "And besssidesss, everyone knowsss Asssh isss in love with Misssty and Pikachu'sss in love with hisss 'honor'. Ssso he hasss no time for women…or men, if he ssswung that way."

Mary put a hand on Gary's shoulder, trying to comfort him…even though she knew that in doing so she was making her own chances of being with him that much smaller. "Gary, if it's you she really likes, then nothing Ash and Pikachu do could ever change that."

Gary sighed, his shoulders slumping. "Yeah, I guess so…" He looked up…and blinked, seeing a Pelipper flying overhead. "Hey, isn't that the mail-Pelipper? Why's he flying away from Team Aurabolt's HQ?"

Evan rolled his eyes. "Presssumably becaussse he jussst dropped sssomething off. Like, maybe, the _mail?_"

Gary started walking towards the Aurabolt base. "Come on, let's go take a look."

Mary sighed in exasperation. "Gary, didn't you agree that you were never going to go through Ash's mail again?"

"Ash isn't here right now," Gary pointed out. "And besides, what if it's a rescue request for some poor Pokemon in dire distress? As a Rescue Team, we're obligated to help that Pokemon out! Even if they were asking for another team's assistance."

"But-" Mary protested, only for Gary to run off before she could finish. She rolled her eyes. "Ugh. That ghost."

"I really don't get what you sssee in him," Evan complained. Mary smacked him.

By the time they caught up with Gary, he had opened Team Aurabolt's mailbox, torn open the sole envelope inside, and was reading the contents of the letter. When he looked up at them, all traces of occasionally mean humor and anxiety in his red eyes had been replaced with utter seriousness. "You guys," he said, waving the letter towards them as they approached. "You've gotta take a look at this!"

"Well, I would, but…you know, no handsss," Evan pointed out caustically.

"Here," Mary grunted, taking the letter from Gary. She started to read it out loud. "'Dear Team Aurabolt, we of the Mirage Kingdom in Aliore write to you in what might be our darkest hour. Our beloved Princess Sara and a priceless, _dangerous_ royal artifact have been stolen by the nefarious Berry King and his diabolical Poffin Men minions. This artifact may possess the power to destroy the world, and the Berry King intends to use it to conquer the Earth and reign over it with the helpless Princess Sara, whom he has lusted after for years, as his queen. We have sent our Kingdom's finest warriors against the Berry King's armies, and all have failed. Hearing of your recent success in saving the world from a meteor (and being unable to contact Team A.C.T.), we humbly request your assistance in saving Princess Sara and defeating the Berry King. You will be graciously rewarded should, or rather, _when_ you succeed in saving our Kingdom, and will even be awarded Princess Sara's hand in marriage, if that is what you desire. Signed, the Togeking and Togequeen of Mirage Kingdom." Mary's eyes widened. "Oh my…"

Gary nodded. "You see? This is a big deal! We've gotta go take this mission, since Ash and Pikachu aren't here! Somebody's got to!"

Mary frowned. "Now, hold on! We can't just steal another Rescue Team's mission!"

"We did it before," Evan reminded her.

"…That's not the point," Mary said after a moment.

"Last time, Ash and Pikachu were still here to go on that mission! But this time, they're not, since they're on another mission which is just as, if not _more, _important!" Gary said. "And since they're not here, it's up to us to take the mission on in their place!"

"But we can't," Mary protested. "We're needed here to help defend the town from the barbarian invasion in the near future!"

"Actually, they probably don't," Evan said. "We're not exactly the mossst powerful Team in town…I doubt we'd be misssed. Much."

"And that makes another good reason for us not to go! We're not really qualified for this kind of mission!" Mary argued desperately, seeing that she was the only member of the team who seemed to think this was a bad idea.

"Eh, we'll pick up experience along the way. No big deal," Gary said with a shrug.

"No big deal?! We could get killed because we're not at a high enough level and rank for this!!" Mary shouted. "There are dozens of Rescue Teams who've made that same mistake, taking on dangerous missions they weren't ready for and either needing to be rescued themselves or getting killed! But if we get in trouble that far away from here, _nobody,_ not even Scotty, will be able to save us!"

"Mary, do you _really_ think we'll have much trouble defeating a guy called the Berry King?" Gary asked flatly. "Who has Poffin Men? _Poffin_ Men?"

"His armies supposedly defeated the best warriors of the Mirage Kingdom," Mary pointed out.

"The bessst warriorsss of the Mirage Kingdom are egg-ssshaped Pokemon," Evan said.

Mary paused. "They are?"

He nodded. "Yeah, nearly everyone in the Mirage Kingdom isss a Togepi, or Exeggcute, or Chansssey, or sssomething like that. Not exactly the ssstrongessst Pokemon. Why elssse do you think they'd try outsssourcing to a Ressscue Team?"

Mary considered that for a moment. "Huh. Call me crazy, but now I'm starting to thing we might actually be able to pull this off…" She frowned. "But my other point still stands. Do you really think the Mayor would let us go when he needs teams like us to protect the town?"

Gary shrugged. "We won't know until we ask him."

"Or we could not, and jussst go anyway," Evan suggested.

"No. On that point, I absolutely refuse," Mary said firmly. "We cannot leave town without permission, not in the current state of emergency we're in. We'd be letting too many people who are counting on us down."

Gary nodded in agreement. "She's right. We need to ask the Mayor first." Mary smiled gratefully at him. "And then, if he says no, we'll sneak out and go anyway!" Mary facefaulted. "Come on Evan, let's go!"

"Hey Gary, if we ressscue the Princesss, do you think I could marry her?" Evan asked as he slithered off alongside the Gengar. "You know, sssince your heart only yearnsss for Gardevoir or sssomething like that?"

"Sure, knock yourself out," Gary said with a shrug. "I'm just in it for the knowledge that I'll be helping someone in dire need of assistance…and for the no-doubt extravagant reward, of course."

Mary groaned as she got back to her feet and trudged after her friends. "Why do I have a bad feeling about this?"

…

And that's that! The heroes are on their way to a brand new adventure!

Oh, and Ash and Pikachu are doing something too. Find out more about that next time!


	6. A Treasure Town Welcome

And so, we finally reach Treasure Town. By the time this chapter's done, you'll wish Ash and Pikachu had never gotten there.

…

Disclaimer: Most of the characters in this story do not belong to me. Treasure Town also does not belong to me, but my particular interpretation of it does.

…

The next three days were some of the most incredible in Ash and Pikachu's life.

It was not the first time they had been underwater. They had ventured to some aquatic dungeons and undersea caves a number of times with the help of some of their Water Pokemon friends (usually Misty) to rescue someone or obtain some rare item or even calm down a raging water deity. However, on all those previous occasions they had been spending most of their time fighting hordes of ferocious wild Pokemon, and so didn't really have time to check out the scenery.

This time, however…

This time, they were able to gaze out at the vast, seemingly endless expanse of the deep ocean from within the safe confines of their Waillord transport, Willy. Whenever they wanted to take a look outside and see what the sea was like, all they had to do was go up the esophagus tract towards the whale's mouth and politely ask him to make that part of himself transparent. It had been frightening, the first few times, for them to suddenly find themselves seemingly immersed in the infinite blue with no air or support to keep them from drowning or being crushed by the intense pressure of the deep, but after reminding themselves that it was just an optical illusion, that they were still safe and sound inside of Willy's mouth, they were able to relax and take in the view.

And what a view it was! Coral reefs, literal underwater cities full of color and light and life. Colonies of Tentacool and Tentacruel propelled themselves through the water, the gems on their foreheads glistening like rubies and looking every bit as beautiful as Misty always raved that they did. Staryu and Starmie were plastered to walls or spinning through the water, their jewels glowing just as brilliantly as the Tentacool's, if not more. Seel and Dewgong played in the water with their cousins Spheal, Sealeo, and Walrein, performing all sorts of crazy underwater sports and stunts whenever they thought they had an audience. A majestic male Kingdra gave birth to a litter of baby Horsea while his subjects and Queen looked on. Schools of Goldeen, Seaking, Magikarp, Chinchou, Lanturn, Barboach, Feebas, Luvdisc, Finneon, and Lumineon swam around each other in the water, interacting in incredibly complex aquatic dances and flaunting off their myriad beautiful colors as they did so. Groups of Milotic sang with voices of pure beauty which brought tears to the eyes of all who heard them, disregarding the fact that they were underwater so shouldn't be able to cry in the first place. Relicanth hung out with Omanyte and Omastars, blatantly ignoring everyone who said that they were supposed to be extinct. Adult Mantine paired symbiotic Remoraid with maturing Mantykes so that the young Pokemon would learn to work together as they grew up. Clamperl and Shellder competed with each other over who had the most beautiful pearls. Corsola who had lived for so long and gotten so big that they had literally become one with the reefs upon which they lived sat and smiled benevolently at the smaller creatures and younger Corsola living freely on its immense coral skin. An immense artificial structure encased in a swirling bubble passed by at surprising speeds in the distance, which Willy claimed was the legendary Temple of the Sea, a mobile palace that had been constructed long ago by ocean-loving humans to honor the great waters which had birthed them, and was supposed to be the future home of the mythical King of the Sea, a Pokemon who had apparently not yet been born, though many (mostly some Manaphy, and Kyogre once or twice) had tried to claim the throne since the Temple's founding and failed. Gigantic undersea cliffs and pillars with carvings thousands of years old on them depicted the history of the sea in pictograms and murals, for while, as Willy had told them, the creatures of the ocean did not have a written alphabet, they were still skilled at communicating through pictures, song, dance, and others forms of art.

Ash and Pikachu were awed by the vibrant, thriving life which seemed to pervade every corner of the ocean, amazed by the spectacular dances and complex group motions the large fish schools displayed, moved by the sheer beauty of the colors and bioluminescence all around, brought to tears by the heartbreakingly beautiful music of the deep, and humble by how BIG this world right outside their own admittedly large transport was, astounded by the sheer size and scope of the ancient underwater colonies and cities bigger and older than any other settlement constructed by land Pokemon in recent memory. Whoever said that ocean Pokemon had no concept of civilization had clearly never taken an undersea tour like this.

However, where beauty existed, so did tragedy. Armies of Krabby and Corphish savagely clashed on the sea floor, egged on by cruel Kingler and Crawdaunt tyrants, each species striving to earn the title of toughest crustacean in the ocean. A Gyarados ambushed and brutally tore apart a baby Lapras that had strayed too far from its herd. A pair of blood-crazed Kabutops violently dueled with each other across the bottom of an undersea canyon, their swinging scythe blades cutting through the water and slicing apart any water Pokemon too slow to get out of the way of the battle, the bipedal shellfish uncaring who got in the way of their fight so as long as they could kill each other. An Octillery, its skin color changed to match the surrounding rocks, grabbed a number of Chinchou as they swam by, unaware of its presence, and dragged them down to their doom. An angry Qwilfish, enraged that his girlfriend had just broken up with him for being 'too prickly', fired needles in every direction without caring about the consequences, wounding and killing several of the closest Pokemon and proving his ex right about him in the process. A pack of Sharpedo assaulted an aging, feeble Waillord, ripping the poor whale to shreds and leaving nothing behind but a cloud of bloody mist and a few scraps of flesh and bone. A Huntail and Gorebyss competed against each other in a cruel game to see who could lure the most fish into their gaping jaws. Ash and Pikachu were initially horrified by these graphic displays of savagery and death, but in the end were not that surprised; they knew that many Pokemon chose to continue predating on others rather than living in peace with their neighbors. It seemed that in this, both the sea and the land were alike.

But even this awareness of the brutal and dark side of the ocean did not lessen their wonder for the marvels they saw through Willy's skin. Ash was so enraptured and caught up in just watching the aquatic ballets and ebb and flow of marine life that he almost forgot to start reading the book Chuck had given him on the Aura Guardians. He was uncharacteristically reluctant to start reading it when he could be spending his time looking out at the sea, but after some prompting from Pikachu he began to read it and was quickly caught up in its pages, swiftly finding himself lost in the lore and the wisdom of his predecessors. He even found a way to use the spectacle outside to further his training, honing his Aura-sight in several of the methods described in the tome so that he could not only distinguish between different individual Water Pokemon outside by their Auras, but also be able to glean something about their temperaments, their emotions, and maybe even a little of their thoughts just by examining their Auras; a different form of mind-reading than what the Psychics did. Ash happily wiled away the hours in this fashion.

Pikachu, on the other hand, did not have as much to do to occupy himself. He couldn't exactly train with his sword or electrical abilities seeing as they were inside of a giant Water Pokemon, and while he thought the vista outside was interesting, he wasn't quite as into it as Ash was. He also did not have the benefit of a big book to lose himself in. He occasionally served as a 'guinea pig' for Ash to try out some of the new techniques he was learning from his ancient text since he had nothing better to do, but while those experiments did eat up some time, they were not always…pleasant. Despite these minor problems, he refused to complain, knowing that these irritants were just that, irritants, and something he would have to overcome if he were to fulfill his destiny as a samurai and prove himself worthy of his family's legacy and the sacred sword he had been entrusted with. Boredom was the least of the enemies he would have to slay to attain that destiny.

When they first set foot in Treasure Town, however, he found himself wishing he could stay in Willy's belly for a while longer, for while it was a little boring and smelled of fish and Willy told a few too many fish tales to be believed, it was infinitely preferable to what he was confronted with the instant he stepped off the Waillord's tongue. "Are you _sure_ we're in the right place?" Pikachu asked uneasily.

"Afraid so, fellas," Willy said, his usually jovial voice now subdued and anxious. "I wish we weren't, but this is the place."

"And what a place…" Ash muttered, his long nose wrinkled in distaste.

What a place, indeed. Whatever Ash and Pikachu had been told about this place, whatever they had expected, was nothing compared to seeing the town in person. Where the ocean had been vibrant, thriving, colorful, and alive, Treasure Town was dismal, gloomy, depressing, and pretty much _dead_. The docks they were standing on were warped, dilapidated, and crumbling apart, a couple of planks breaking off and falling into the very murky debris-filled water below as they watched. Nearly all the ships docked in this harbor were in the same condition, looking as if they hadn't sailed for years, and would sink to the bottom of the ocean the instant they cast off from shore. Most of the ships had, in fact, been converted into makeshift homes for their former crews and passengers, who had wasted all their money in pursuit of a false dream and were now no longer able to afford housing in town or even to buy a way home, wherever that might have been. These unshipworthy vessels were connected by the crumbling docks and ancient wooden bridges buoyed by floats in the water, which looked just about as reliable as the piers. Smog rising from modified chimneys and smokestacks of these derelict ships rose into the air, mingling with the smoke from all kinds of fires burning in town (and not all of them from fireplaces or smithies or the like, either) and turning the sky so gray and dark that the sun could not be seen. This grayness could be reflected in the faces of the miserable Pokemon aimlessly wandering the harbor, covered in rags and filth, their expressions hardened into grotesque masks by years of disappointments, setbacks, heartbreaks, and betrayals. More than a few carried weapons, and looked as if they were desperately hoping someone would rub them the wrong way, just so that they could have the excuse to murder them and break up the endless soul-crushing tedium which was their miserable lives.

From what they could see of the town proper through the twisted and broken masts jutting into the sky, the rest of Treasure Town was like this, too. The walls that should have encircled and protected the town were ancient, broken, and falling apart, with enormous gaps in some places that an entire barbarian war party could march through without trouble. Apparently nobody cared enough to repair the defenses. The buildings occupying the town were all crammed together and built so that they shared walls, without a single inch of free space anywhere, every place that could be filled occupied by a house or a store or some other unidentifiable building. All these buildings were just as, if not more, dilapidated and in bad a shape as the walls and the ships and pretty much everything else in this place. Graffiti, bloodstains, and ashes decorated most of the grim gray walls in place of paint, adding violent dashes of color to this lifeless village. It looked as if Treasure Town was the same size, if not bigger, than Pokemon Square, but more houses and Pokemon were pushed together and forced to live in the same space and close proximity with each other, which probably didn't make the ever-present tension which seemed to constantly hang in the air any easier to bear. Of course, the tension wasn't the only thing which was hanging in the air, everything seemed to reek of an ever-present stench even worse than the fish smell inside Willy's mouth, the odor of decay, rotting meat and vegetables, unwashed bodies, misery, death, and all sorts of unsavory things being burned. It smelled bad enough to make the brothers, who had undergone scent suppression training so that their keen noses wouldn't be overwhelmed if they found themselves in a truly noxious place, flinch in disgust.

"Damn," whispered Pikachu, who rarely profaned.

Ash closed his eyes and peered out at the cityscape before them, trying to take a look at it with his Aura-sight. What he saw made him shiver in fear and disgust. "This place is…horrible! Everyone's Aura is thick and spiky and jagged with despair and hatred and pain…there's no happiness anywhere. No love. No hope. No light. The misery is so thick, even the _buildings_ are coated with it! If we stay here too long, will it cover us too?"

Pikachu grimaced. "I hope not."

Ash frowned. "There's…something else, something harder to see. I might not have been able to see it at all if I hadn't read some of the first chapters of _Secrets of an Aura Master_ and learned a little more about the stuff I can perceive with Aura-sight. There's some kind of a…miasma everywhere, an invisible fog lying over everything. Just looking at it makes my 'eyes' hurt, it seems to dull my senses and make everything look…I dunno, worse somehow. Like gazing at the world through a dark and dirty glass, one that erases or destroys everything good."

Pikachu looked sharply at Ash at this. "An invisible miasma? Can you tell where it's coming from?"

Ash studied it for a moment, and then shook his head. "No, I can't. Sorry. There's just too much of it, it's everywhere…I can't tell if it's thicker in some parts than others, or if it seems to be coming from a specific spot or not. It's just _there_, hovering and omnipresent, like the shadow of death or something."

"Thanks for the lovely imagery," Willy muttered. "You guys sure you want to stay here? This doesn't seem like your kind of place. I'm not going to hang around, and once I leave I'm not coming back, and I'm not sure you'll be able to get home easily from here. I could take you back to Pokemon Square with me, if you think this place is too risky to stick around in."

Ash and Pikachu gave each other uncertain looks, actually considering taking Willy's offer for a moment. But then they sighed and shook their heads. "No," said Pikachu. "We have friends to rescue and a mission to complete. We can't leave. Not yet."

"All right, if you're certain," Willy said doubtfully. "If that's the case, then I think I'd better be off. The water here's polluted and burning my skin, and I hear they catch and _eat_ Waillord around here. I don't like the way those guys are looking at me…" Ash and Pikachu turned around to notice a trio of burly, grizzled dock worker Pokemon staring at Willy greedily and rubbing their fingers over their hooks and harpoons. Ash, Pikachu, and Willy shuddered.

"We had a great time traveling with you, and hope we can see you again someday, hopefully under better circumstances," Pikachu said to Willy in farewell.

Ash nodded. "Yeah, have a safe trip back to your pod…it'll probably be less dangerous than whatever we're going to have to deal with…"

"Don't I know it," Willy agreed. "Well, good luck, fellas. You'll need it." Willy sprayed some water out of his blowhole, finned his way back from the dock, and dove into the water, his tail fluking into the air just long enough to say goodbye before vanishing into the depths. The dock workers grumbled in disappointment at the amount of Poke' they could have brought in by killing Willy, skinning and gutting him, and selling his meat, blubber, and giblet on the market, and reluctantly shuffled off to get back to work, though not before one of them suggested they kill, skin, and eat Ash and Pikachu instead. The partners tried to convince themselves that the dock workers were joking, but somehow they didn't really think they were.

"Well," Ash said after a moment, looking around him unhappily at the shantytown of derelict ships all around them. "We're here. Now what?"

"Now we find a place of lodging," said Pikachu. "And then get down to what we came here for: to find out what happened to Gardevoir and Misty, and who's responsible for capturing them and killing the rest of the supply team!"

…

After escaping from the labyrinthine maze of ships and piers which made up the harbor and walking past the stalls where fishermon were proudly displaying the beautiful sea creatures they had captured and murdered for food and profit and the taverns where loud and drunken medleys and the sounds of brutal and often deadly fights broke out, with some brawling Pokemon actually getting thrown out of glassless windows (the original frames having been destroyed long ago in similar bar fights which the owners never got around to fixing) and continuing their struggles in the street, Ash and Pikachu climbed up a set of worn stone stairs, passed under a broken archway (with the rubble from the top of the arch just lying there on the ground, which nobody had bothered to pick up), and found themselves in the main square of Treasure Town. However, while the titular plaza in Pokemon Square was a rather beautiful place with some of the town's most important places surrounding it, the main square of Treasure Town was…well…

"What the heck is that thing?" asked Ash, referring to the large and rather macabre-looking construct in the middle of the square, a wooden platform with a tall frame on top suspending a heavy metal blade. Old blood crusted the edge of the blade, the frame, and the part of the platform from which the frame arose, and smaller drops of dried blood spattered the grimy cobblestones making up the ground surrounding the structure.

Pikachu blanched. "That's a guillotine."

Ash gave him a confused look. "Guillotine? Like the inaccurate Normal-type one-hit KO move that can only be learned by Pokemon with pincers for some reason?"

Pikachu shook his head slowly. "No…guillotine, like the device used to execute criminals by chopping off their heads."

Ash's eyes bulged out of their sockets. "What the…why the Abyss is something like that right here in the middle of the town?!"

"Well, according to this conveniently placed informative sign," Pikachu said, pointing to a rather worn, tattered, bloodstained, and graffiti-covered signpost standing next to the guillotine. "This guillotine is apparently a historic artifact that has been a part of Treasure Town culture for several hundred years and is traditionally used to execute people who, and I quote, 'had it coming, mainly tourists.' Once the victim's head has been chopped off, it's put on a pike and given as a toy to the local children…after they fight each other savagely in a lawless all-out brawl, sometimes to the death, with the last mon standing winning the head as a prize. It's responsible for the deaths of approximately one thousand seven hundred and eighty-three Pokemon, and was last used…" Pikachu paused to glance at a replaceable placard hanging from the underside of the sign. "Five days ago."

"Geez…" whispered a horrified Ash. "Father Yamiri wasn't kidding when he told us this place was a shithole."

"Probably best not to call their town a shithole within earshot, or they might consider trying the guillotine out on you," Pikachu warned Ash. "As the sign said, they mainly use it on tourists."

Ash gulped, suddenly noticing the menacing-looking townsfolk loitering nearby who had a more than curious gleam in their eyes when they glared at him and the filthy and probably disease-ridden children who gave him a greedy, anticipatory, and _appraising _look which sent shivers down his spine. "Ah, so," he said anxiously, wanting to get as far away from this square which reeked of blood and death (then again, everything in Treasure Town seemed to) as Pokemonly possible. "Where do we go from here?"

Pikachu pulled out the town map that the mayor had given them before they left. Pikachu was always in charge of the maps and keeping track of where they were, for, while Ash was pretty good at locating Pokemon by scent and Aura, he was embarrassingly bad at navigating and had gotten them lost in the wilderness more times than Pikachu could count because he couldn't tell a compass from a wristwatch and, while he was somewhat capable of reading a map, was awfully lousy at it. It was a good thing Ash wasn't the only one who could see the map that Gardevoir had sent to them, otherwise they might never be able to find the seven treasure keys. "Well, there's no shortage of inns we could stay at, but Nurse Joy recommended that we stay at her cousin's Pokemon Center," the swordsmouse recalled. "Eeven though she did mention her cousin was the black Mareep of the family and there was something…_odd_ about her…"

"Could've told us what it was and saved us the trouble," Ash grumbled.

"Considering what Father Yamiri said about most of the other inns in this place, I'd say the Pokemon Center would be the best place for us to stay if we're going to need to set up a home base here, and we probably will, depending on how our initial findings go," Pikachu finished.

"Why bother? Shouldn't we just go out to Turtle Town and start looking for that first key?" Ash asked.

"We could, but I'd like to find out a little bit more about what happened to the rest of the supply team and the events which led up to Gardevoir sending us the map and her letter," Pikachu replied. "We might be able to find out more about our enemy and who we're up against. For all we know, they might already be waiting for us in Turtle Town, so the more we can learn about them in advance, the better."

Ash nodded, seeing sense in that. "So after we set ourselves up at the Pokemon Center, we'll explore the town and see if we can't find out anything about what happened to our friends. And maybe find that Professor Oak guy…Gardevoir's letter mentioned he'd probably be helpful to us."

Pikachu nodded in agreement. "And he might know where the great door to the treasure underneath the town is. While the magical map says it's here in town, it didn't exactly elaborate _where_. But Gardevoir and Misty were able to find it, so…maybe he knows where it is. Maybe he helped them find it. He's probably going to be our best source of information on what's really going on here, if we can't get anything else from the townspeople." He glanced warily at the bystanders looking at them with not-too-innocent curiosity on their faces, not even bothering to conceal the fact that they were trying to eavesdrop on the brothers' conversation. "I'm not really expecting them to be very forthcoming."

Ash frowned. "We shouldn't be talking about this out in the open, should we?"

Pikachu shook his head. "Probably not. We just make ourselves look more like targets…come on, let's get a move on before somebody decides to stick us in that guillotine and give our heads to those kids over there."

Ash glanced back over his shoulder at the children, who had to his horror fashioned rather sharp sticks out of pieces of wood and were gazing at him eagerly. He shuddered and followed Pikachu as his brother led the way out of the square, glad that Pichu wasn't that bloodthirsty, conveniently forgetting that the little mouse had asked them to bring back a severed head or hand when they returned to Pokemon Square.

…

Walking through the streets of Treasure Town wasn't much better from just standing around in Guillotine Square. The aforementioned smell was everywhere, the houses squeezing into them from either side of the street were just depressing to look at, and the citizens were…quiet. Too quiet. In Pokemon Square, the streets and avenues were always bustling and noisy as the inhabitants chattered to each other or stopped in the middle of whatever they were doing to greet a friend or neighbor and even got into occasional arguments about who had the right of way when they bumped into each other by accident. But in Treasure Town, nobody was talking. Nobody stood close to anyone else, and even the gang members which wandered in packs eyeing everyone with predatory looks kept a certain distance from each other. Even the children, all so dirty and malnourished that it was unclear if they were all poverty-stricken street orphans or just received negligent care from their parents, seemed oddly quiet and subdued as they played games with each other, rather disturbing and violent games at that. Nobody talked or made conversation or even argued with anyone else, just glared at each other with distrust and paranoia. Ash and Pikachu, as newcomers and obvious tourists, received more than their fair share of distrustful looks, and more than a few people (even children!) eyed their knapsacks and Pikachu's sword with envy and greed.

"I really don't like this place," Ash murmured to his brother, every muscle in his body tense, expecting an attack at any moment from someone who wanted their stuff for themselves or just didn't like the way they looked.

"I don't think anyone does," Pikachu murmured back.

As they turned a corner, following the town map in the direction of the local Pokemon Center, they suddenly found their way blocked by some kind of scuffle in the street; an enraged Machoke beating the crap out of a scrawny, thin Bidoof, howling in fury and ignoring the Plump Mouse's screams of agony or pleas for mercy as his bones were cracked and his blood was spattered everywhere beneath the Superpower Pokemon's relentless blows. Just as Father Yamiri had described to the duo from Pokemon Square, not only did most of the other Pokemon in the street completely ignore the beating and walk by as if it was none of their business, a few were watching the 'fight' avidly and either cheering the Machoke on or taking bets as to how long it would take for the Bidoof to die, and in what gruesome fashion the Machoke would kill him. Even more disgustingly, a few Pokemon actually seemed to be getting sexually _aroused_ by the poor Bidoof's suffering.

Ash and Pikachu didn't bother wasting time talking, as a Rescue Team they were trained to intervene in emergencies such as this and rescue any Pokemon whose life was in danger by natural or artificial causes, and this certainly qualified as such an emergency. Pikachu drew his sword, startling the other Pokemon in the street due to its magnificent craftsmanship and the fact that it was glowing brilliantly, and Ash channeled his Aura into his fists, causing them to burn with a bright blue flame. "Hey, you!" Ash shouted at the Machoke, storming towards the Fighting-type. "Leave that Bidoof alone!"

The Machoke glanced away from his victim, his face twisted in a sneer. "Oh yeah? Who's gonna make me?"

POW!

"Me," Ash said, cracking his knuckles.

The Machoke, who had been flung several feet away and knocked to the ground by the power of Ash's Aura-enhanced punch, cursed loudly and stumbled back to his feet, his eyes red with rage as blood and drool gushed from his caved-in snout, but hesitated when he saw Pikachu step forward to join Ash, the crackling blue blade of Thunder Fang drawing his attention. Self-preservation overtaking his desire for revenge, he snarled and backed off. "Fine, keep the little punk. But trust me, you'll regret it…" With that, he turned and ran away.

"Yeah, you'd better run!" Ash called after the Machoke. He smirked and looked around at his 'audience', expecting some accolades, and was puzzled when the Pokemon who had been watching booed and yelled at him and threw things at him for spoiling their fun and making them lose money. They might have attacked him if Pikachu hadn't fired a warning Thundershock at their feet and convinced them it might be best to take their business elsewhere. "What's up with them?"

Pikachu shrugged. "Well, I guess there's no pleasing some people…"

Ash grunted noncommittally, and then crouched down to help the injured Bidoof back to his feet. "You okay, little guy?"

The Bidoof looked up at Ash with grateful, watery eyes. He abruptly threw his arms around Ash's waist and pressed his head into the Lucario's chest. "Oh, thank you kind sir, thank you, thank you, I'll never be able to repay you for this, I'll be grateful to you till the day I die, I am forever in your debt-" Without warning, he bit Ash's arm, driving his thick buck teeth into the Lucario's skin. Ash howled in pain, giving the Bidoof enough time to wrench his teeth free, tear the knapsack off Ash's back, and try to make a break for it, spurned on by cheers and boos from the crowd…

Until he found the edge of a crackling blue sword only millimeters away from his throat. "I don't believe that belongs to you," Pikachu said coldly. The Bidoof gulped; sweat rolling down his face as he stared at the blade almost touching his jugular.

"Kill him! Kill him! Kill him!" the bystanders in the street cheered.

"Chop off his head!" a rather vicious and disheveled Smoochum yelled, waving a sharpened wooden stick in the air. The Bidoof squealed and wet himself in fright.

"What…what the heck was that?" Ash snarled angrily as he stalked over, his bandana wrapped around the bite wound on his arm to staunch the bleeding. "I saved your life! Why the Abyss did you steal from me?!"

The Bidoof shrugged as best he could without cutting his throat on Pikachu's sword. "Well, sir, I'm a thief, you see. I steal for a living. It's what I do. Why do you think that brute of a Machoke was trying to kill me in the first place?"

Ash gawked. "Then you…and he…and that makes it _okay_ for you to rob from someone who helped you out?! What the hell kind of screwed up code of ethics is that?"

"The kind you develop growing up in Treasure Town, sir," the Bidoof said with a melodramatic sigh. "You see, sir, I'm just as much a victim as you are. My current lifestyle is the product of poor upraising, a shoddy childhood, and growing up in an environment without friends or trust and pretty much being socialized into a life of crime from a very early age. This led to my having low self-esteem, which I projected onto others and punished them by stealing their possessions. So you see, I don't steal because I want to, I do it because it's all I've ever known and because circumstances beyond my control have forced me into it. I would humbly ask for your forgiveness, but I understand how you might be a little less than forthcoming considering how I just tried to steal from you, but that's okay because _I_ forgive me, and that's all that really matters, isn't it?"

Ash and Pikachu stared at him incredulously. The crowd continued demanding the little thief's execution. Growling in frustration, Ash finally tore the knapsack from the fat beaver/rodent thing's grasp and slung it back over his shoulders. "Get the hell out of here. And pray we never run into you again."

"Sure thing," the Bidoof said, ready to run to safety, only to find Pikachu's sword was still at his throat. "Oh come on, what now?"

"First, give back the stuff you pilfered from Ash's knapsack when you thought I wasn't looking," Pikachu told the Bidoof sternly.

The Bidoof blanched. "You saw that?!"

"I have good eyes. I have to be, to be a master swordsman," Pikachu replied. "Now hand it over." The Bidoof scowled and reluctantly removed some Poke' and other items he had been concealing in his fur, including the magical map and Ash's Diamond-rank Rescue badge, which Ash had put in his knapsack to keep any crooks like the one they had just captured from getting their filthy paws on them. Once Ash, his anger growing at the realization that the rotten thief had almost gotten away with some of his stuff, had the stolen items back in his possession, Pikachu removed his sword, and the Bidoof dashed away as fast as he could. The crowd groaned in disappointment, their entertainment ruined. A few surly Pokemon growled and made threatening comments under their breaths, but were too wary of Ash's power and Pikachu's sword to make good on any of them, so just went back to what they were doing earlier; aimlessly wandering about and ignoring everyone around them.

"I think I'm starting to hate this town and everyone in it," Ash snarled as he put the things the Bidoof had taken from him back in its knapsack.

"I thought Aura Guardians were supposed to keep their hearts free of hatred so that their Auras might remain pure," Pikachu commented.

"Yeah, well I'm not an Aura Guardian yet, and I doubt many of them ever spent much time in a crappy place like this," Ash grumbled.

Pikachu glanced at the bandana wrapped around Ash's bite wound. "We should probably get that checked out. I don't think that Bidoof's teeth were particularly clean…"

"Good thing we're heading to a Pokemon Center, then," Ash said, cheering up slightly. "So we won't have to waste any Potions or healing items on it, Nurse Joy will fix it up."

"Yeah." Pikachu frowned in thought. "Speaking of which…from what I recall from previous letters, Gardevoir, Misty, and the rest of the supply team stayed at an inn rather than the Pokemon Center. Why do you suppose that is?"

Ash shrugged. "I guess we'll find out soon enough."

…

When they did find out, they regretted wondering. "Are you _sure_ this is the right place?" Ash asked skeptically.

Pikachu glanced at the town map and grimaced. "This _is_ the correct address…"

The building they were standing in front of was in somewhat better condition than most of the others surrounding it, indicating it was actually of some importance to the people of Treasure Town. Unfortunately, the reason _why_ it was important was…well…

They had been expecting a building shaped like a Chansey's head, or a cozy and welcoming structure with a large red 'P' located somewhere above the doors to let everyone know that it was a place of healing. What they got was what looked like a large manor house painted in loud colors with weird music pumping from speakers all over the place, lots of flashing lights, and a big neon sign of a Jynx thrusting her oversized breasts forward with the glowing words "Poke' Pleasure Palace" hanging underneath it taking up most of the front wall over the door. Other neon signs showing money symbols and rather lewd and sexual activities flickered on and off all over the surface of the building.

"Pikachu, what the heck is this place?" Ash asked his brother.

Pikachu grimaced. "If I'm right, and I hope I'm not, this is a brothel."

Ash frowned. "What's a brothel?"

Pikachu hesitated. "Well, ah…you know how Bruce has that business where he basically sells his body to unattached (and occasionally married) female Pokemon for cash?"

Ash nodded. "Yeah."

"Well, think of a brothel as a place where several women are basically employed to do the same thing to male Pokemon, except they get far less pay, are frequently abused both by their clients and their bosses, and often don't have any choice in their profession or in who they, ah, 'service,'" Pikachu told Ash.

Ash's face screwed up in disgust. "That's awful! Why would such places exist?!"

"Because some male Pokemon are so obsessed with having sex they don't care who they do it with," Pikachu said scornfully. "Or in whom they might hurt by doing so. The women who work in brothels often don't do it by choice, but because they have nowhere else to go and no other way to earn money, or because they were sold into it by slavers."

"And a Nurse Joy is running one of these places?!" Ash asked incredulously.

"Assuming we're at the right address, it would seem that way," Pikachu said unhappily. "I might have made a mistake…" He frowned and examined his map again.

Ash's face darkened. "I think we should go in and see for ourselves." He stormed towards the Pleasure Palace's front entrance. The muscular Ursaring bouncer at the door started to block his path, but one look at the angry Lucario's eyes convinced the bear Pokemon to get out of the way. Pikachu sighed at his brother's characteristic impetuousness and followed him into the den of iniquity. The Ursaring tried to save some face by blocking Pikachu, but all it took was the show of an inch of Thunder Fang's steel to send the cowardly bouncer scurrying for cover again.

The interior of the Pleasure Palace was hot, dim, and smoky, with loud and vulgar music blaring from speakers all over the place and drowning out all attempts at rational thought. Crude and ugly male Pokemon were sitting in tables and booths all over the place, laughing and shouting and making all sorts of lewd comments and bad attempts at singing as they were supplied with plenty of alcohol and drugs by waitresses in bondage outfits. Female Pokemon who might have been beautiful were their faces and bodies not sagging from years of abuse and suffering (or covered in rather vulgar makeup) were entertaining the lusty males; giving them lap dances, singing and dancing on stage and around poles and inside of cages placed all over the large hall, chained to the walls, and fulfilling some rather sick and vile sexual fantasies either right there in public or in not-very-secluded booths lining the walls or down the hallways branching off from the main chamber. Ash's nose was almost overwhelmed, in spite of his training, by the rancid odors all around him; the stench of sweat and smoke and alcohol and…_other_ things he didn't really want to contemplate. "Is this what the Abyss is like?" he wondered, horrified by what he saw before him.

"Well, Father Yamiri says some parts of it are," Pikachu commented as he came up alongside his brother. "I think it's probably a lot worse there, though."

"I don't even want to imagine how…" Ash muttered, shaking his head in disgust.

"Well he_llo_ there, handsome," a morbidly obese Chansey wearing black lipstick and blue eyeliner with lots of piercings all over her face, red and purple-dyed hair-like outgrowths, an egg pouch filled with wads of cash and other things instead of an egg, and smoking from a cigarette in a long black holder said sensually as she sidled up to Ash and Lucario. "You boys look new in town. Where're you from?"

"Uh, Pokemon Square," Ash said, momentarily stunned by the sheer…something, definitely not beauty, of the Chansey.

The Chansey raised one heavily pierced eyebrow. "Pokemon Square, huh? Don't get many from there around these parts. I got a cousin there…then again, I got a cousin everywhere, we're a very big family. You can call me Madame Joy. And what do you go by, hun?"

"Ash," said Ash tersely.

"Pikachu," said Pikachu, feeling like he should be holding Thunder Fang to fend this big fat pink…thing away from him.

Madame Joy frowned. "Pikachu the Pikachu?"

"It's a family tradition," Pikachu explained.

"Ahhhh," Joy said, nodding in understanding. "Yeah, I know all about that, hun. Family can be a bitch, huh?" She took a long drag on her cigarette and blew out smoke rings.

"That's…not exactly how I'd put it," Pikachu said, rather offended by how casually she seemed to discard the concept of family.

"Whatever," Joy said, not caring. "So, what can I do you for? The two of you looking for a good time, or a hit, or what?"

"Actually, we just wanted a room," Ash said.

Joy nodded. "Right, with how many girls? And will there be any illicit and dangerous substances on the side?"

Ash frowned. "None of either, thanks."

Joy raised an eyebrow. "None? You two swing _that_ way? Well, it's probably bad for business, but I suppose I could arrange something for the right price-"

"We're _brothers_, not lovers," Pikachu snapped indignantly. "We just want a room, as in a place to spend the night while we're here in town, by ourselves, without having to molest any women. Or take any drugs."

Joy blinked. "…Wait, you mean neither of you want to have a fuck?"

"No," said the disturbed Ash.

"No," Pikachu said with a tone of finality.

Joy scowled. "Then what the hell are you doing here? If you just wanted a boring old room, you could have gone to any of the other inns in town…although admittedly, the prices they demand and the quality of their rooms aren't quite the same as mine."

"Your cousin in Pokemon Square said that if we went to your place and mentioned she sent us, we'd get a discount or something," Ash said.

Joy scowled. "_Did_ she now? Filthy bitch…the fuck does she think she's doing? Nosing in my business? Acting like we're still friends or something? She must be stupider than I thought if she really believed that I'd do something like that just because she sent a couple of her dumb—though handsome—friends my way."

"Hey!" Ash said indignantly.

Pikachu gave Joy an inquisitive look. "You and your family don't get along, I take it."

Joy took another drag on her cigarette. "You can say that again, Short Stuff." Pikachu bristled at that, but didn't rise to the insult.

"Would it have anything to do with you running…you know…a brothel instead of a hospital?" Ash asked, gesturing to the sexual depravity going on behind them.

Joy rolled her eyes. "Oh, one of those high-and-mighty types, huh? Geez, you'd think there's something wrong with a girl trying to get a second source of income…what makes you think I run a brothel 'instead' of a hospital? I do _both_, smart guy!"

Ash started. "Both?!"

"How is that possible?!" asked an incredulous Pikachu.

"Well, the two aren't mutually exclusive, you know," Joy said, blowing some smoke out of her mouth.

"They're…not?" Pikachu asked skeptically.

"Nope," Joy said. "Y'see, it's like this. My joint's pretty much the only place in town where people can come and get their minor and major injuries healed up. Trouble is, in a town like this, you can't turn your back for two seconds without someone dragging themselves in, bleeding all over the floor from a knife wound or a severed limb or with their intestines hanging out and generally making a mess of themselves. What with the endless line of inbound patients, I kept burning through my medical supplies faster than I could get new ones, and the pay I got from the town leaders was too stingy to replace most of the stuff I used up. I tried to charge my patients in return for my healing them-"

"What?!" cried a horrified Ash. "I thought that was illegal!"

Pikachu nodded in agreement. "Pokemon Centers are supposed to provide free health care and hospitable service to everyone who needs them, with expenses paid by the town or settlement hosting the Center."

"Yeah, well most of those towns or settlements aren't this shithole," Joy snapped. "But my so-called family didn't see it my way and shunned me for using 'unorthodox' methods to keep myself afloat…and it didn't work, anyway, the lowlifes in this place are so poor that barely any of them could afford my fees, no matter how low I set them. As a result, I didn't have to treat as many patients, which was fine with me, except that now there were corpses littering the streets and that was a little something that not even the hardened crooks in this dump could stomach for long. So, I was given the ultimatum of either returning to business as usual or getting out of town, whether I wanted to leave or not. I couldn't leave—the other Joys would never let me live it down—so I knew I had to think of something, and fast. And that's when I realized that there was another form of currency absolutely everyone accepted other than Poke', and you know as well as I do what that is."

They stared at her blankly. "Friendship?" Ash asked uncertainly.

"A system of economy based on bartering, trade, or the mutual exchange of equivalent favors?" Pikachu guessed.

Joy sighed in exasperation. "SEX, you idiots! SEX! S-E-X, SEX!"

"Oh," they both said.

"I don't get it," said Ash, still confused.

Madame Joy facepalmed. "Let me spell it out for you, numbnuts: a patient comes to my Center in need of healing. I give it to her. However, because she's poor trash like everyone else in this damn town, she can't pay the expenses of the items I used to cure her. So, I sell her body to perverted sex-crazed male customers at my brothel until she works off her debt and earns enough (i.e., enough guys pay to use her) to replace the goods I used to fix her up in the first place, plus a little extra for room, board, and interest. Capisce?"

It took Ash and Pikachu a full minute to process the enormity of what she was suggesting. When they got it, they were horrified beyond belief. "That is the most disgusting and evil thing I've ever heard," said a shocked Pikachu.

"Wait, what about the men who come here needing healing?" asked a confused Ash.

Joy leaned close to them. "Well, just between you and me, hun…not all the gals out there are gals, if you get my meaning."

They blanched at this. "You are a disgrace to your profession and your entire family," Pikachu said finally.

Joy grunted and took another drag on her cigarette. "Tell me something I don't hear at every Joy family reunion."

"How can you possibly get away with something like this?!" Ash demanded.

Joy laughed. "Well hun, it's pretty easy. My place is the only joint in town where any of these dumb lugs can come to get fixed up after they break themselves, so they don't have the option of going anywhere else. That's the benefit of a monopoly, you see. Plus, I serve a double function. I heal up people who get sick, and provide the community with entertainment and something to keep their minds off the fact that their lives are worthless pieces of garbage. And I get money in exchange for this service. Everybody wins."

"Except the women…and men…whose bodies you hawk off in exchange for Poke'," Ash said angrily.

Joy shrugged. "So what if they get beaten up a little…or raped…while working for me? They'd have gotten exactly the same out on the streets. That's why they're in here in the first place. At least I offer them a roof over their heads and warm meals, which is certainly more than most of them ever had before they came in here! And all they have to do in exchange for these comforts is do a few small sexual favors for my paying customers. They don't like it? Too bad. There's nowhere else to go, and nobody cares about them anyway. That's the thing about this town; nobody gives a shit about anyone else. Some tramp gets beat up a bit on the job, nobody cares. A hooker gets killed by the guy she was servicing; nobody cares, not so long as all the debts get paid off, anyway. Compassion don't exist here, Poke' is all that matters…and looking out for yourself, of course, but even that's second compared to money. So, all that aside…" She  
sucked on her cigarette and blew the smoke in Ash and Pikachu's faces. "You two bleeding hearts gonna get a room here or not?"

There was only one acceptable response to such a question, after hearing the full extent of this fallen Joy's misdeeds. Ash punched her in the face and spent the next several minutes beating her black and blue, while Pikachu watched and occasionally zapped her so as not to feel left out. Joy was right, nobody did care, everyone else in the room continued doing what they were doing while the owner was getting beaten up in the corner. After Joy was rendered unconscious, Ash and Pikachu threw out (literally) all the patrons of the brothel. Not all of them went willingly, but the majority of them were too drunk or high to put up much resistance. Once that was taken care of, they calmly told the startled prostitutes that their debt had been paid off in full and they were free to go. A good number of them immediately ran for the exit. A significant portion, however, stayed behind.

"Didn't you hear us? You can go now. There's no reason for you to stay here anymore," Ash told the remaining prostitutes, confused by their inaction.

"Where else would we go?" a comely Lickitung asked sadly. "Here we get food and shelter and healing whenever we get beaten up too bad by one of our clients. Out there, we have nothing, no friends, no home, no support at all. This is all we have."

"But if you stay here, you're little better than slaves," Pikachu protested.

"It's still better than being out there," a Tangela said.

An Ampharos shook her head sadly. "You didn't do those other girls any favors. This place is the only hospital in town, remember? They're going to get hurt sooner or later, and they'll have no choice but to come back here, or eventually die on the streets. Then they'll be right back where they started, but maybe even worse off, because Joy will remember that they ran away and make them suffer for it."

"We were only trying to help," Ash said sadly.

"Don't," said a Delcatty. "In this town, helping people only gets you hurt."

Faced with this rather harsh example of Arceus' Second Law, Ash and Pikachu had no choice but to leave the Poke' Pleasure Palace as the remaining prostitutes tended to their mistress. "I really hate this place," Ash said bitterly as they departed.

"I think I do too, now," Pikachu said unhappily.

Together, they walked off into the mean streets of Treasure Town, in search of a new place to stay. Neither of them ever wanted to set foot in that corrupted mockery of a Pokemon Center ever again.

…

They soon found a regular inn which had no prostitution, unless you counted the house singer and the serving wench, and even then you'd have to pay the innkeeper extra to use either of them. Finding this somewhat more acceptable than the whorehouse they had just left, Ash and Pikachu checked into the most sanitary room available (which wasn't saying much). After using an antibiotic to disinfect Ash's bite wound, they sprayed on some Super Potion to accelerate his body's natural healing process so that the gashes left by the thieving Bidoof sealed up in minutes rather than days, leaving behind nothing but a faint scarring which would fade away in a few hours. After agreeing that it would probably be folly to leave anything behind in their room, no matter how much they had paid for it, they left the inn once more with everything they owned on their backs and begun searching the town for clues to the disappearance of Gardevoir and Misty, the deaths of the supply team, and the whereabouts of Professor Oak.

Their investigation didn't go very well. Everyone they interviewed was extremely unfriendly and refused to answer any questions without being bribed beforehand, and even then nobody they questioned, whether they encountered them on the streets, in taverns, or behind the counters of stores and market stalls, recognized the pictures of Gardevoir, Misty, or the supply team when prompted, even when offered additional cash to help them 'remember' better. When they showed the symbol of the sinister group responsible for abducting Misty and Gardevoir, they also drew blanks. When, rather desperately, Ash and Pikachu showed people the enchanted case of their magical map and asked if it was familiar to anyone and if they had ever seen someone walking around with it or trying to sell it, they got the exact same response, nobody recognized it at all.

The duo checked out the addresses of stores and other locations the supply team had visited and made purchases at before their disappearance, gleaned from receipts sent to Pokemon Square via mail in letters prior to Gardevoir's final bloodstained note, as well as the inn where the team was supposed to have been staying while they were in town, and found something even more troubling than a simple lack of knowledge. All of the stores they looked for appeared to have either never existed or had been torn down in the last week and replaced with new stores and houses to relieve some of Treasure Town's housing and overpopulation problems. The inn where the team had stayed had been burned down in a mysterious accident, also in the last week, and was now being used as a body dump. And while (reluctantly) they checked the rotting corpses, none of them belonged to anyone they knew from Pokemon Square.

The name Professor Oak managed to ring a few bells, but nobody seemed to be certain where he lived, and whenever the brothers were able to get clear directions to the researcher's place of residence, all they found were dead ends, the wrong place entirely, or several other burned-out husks which had also been made last week at roughly the same time the inn had caught on fire and all the other stores and buildings they looked at had been destroyed and rebuilt, mysteriously enough. None of the townspeople thought this suspicious, since buildings burned down in Treasure Town all the time either by accident or on purpose, but Ash and Pikachu weren't so sure that these separate incidents weren't related. After all, as Arceus' Eleventh Law stated, everything was connected.

"Would it be paranoid of me to think that there's some sort of giant conspiracy and cover-up going on here?" Ash asked his brother quietly as they headed back to the inn they were staying at in frustration after another failed lead.

"Well, you know what they say: you're not paranoid if they're really out to get you, and we know there's at least one evil organization who would probably want something like this kept a secret," Pikachu said after some thought. "You know, so their plans at global domination could go smoothly and all." He frowned. "Now that I think about it, I'm worried that all our questioning might have clued them in to the fact that we're on their tails…that sort of thing always leads to violent confrontations in mystery novels and drams. Maybe we should have been more inconspicuous in our investigation…"

"How exactly can a Pikachu with a glowing blue samurai sword on his back and a Lucario wearing a blindfold be inconspicuous?" Ash retorted.

"Good point," Pikachu admitted grudgingly. After washing the blood off of his bandana, Ash had transformed it into a blindfold again both to enhance his Aura-sight as well as to make everyone they encountered underestimate him, figuring that a blind Pokemon wouldn't be much of a challenge in a fight. He had surreptitiously used his second sight to observe the Auras of the people they were questioning from under his blindfold, looking for telltale shifts in their color and makeup to figure out if the Pokemon they talked to were lying or not, another new thing he had learned from _Secrets of an Aura Master._ Unfortunately, while the Pokemon they talked to had indeed been lying about a great many things, everything they had told them about not recognizing the friends they were looking for, the map case, the evil emblem, or the whereabouts of Professor Oak were entirely true…or, at least, they _believed_ it to be true. "So, since nobody we talked to seemed to be lying, or _thought_ they were lying, about the important stuff, what do you think the reason is for their lack of knowledge about things which we know for a fact must have happened here somewhat recently? Brainwashing?"

Ash nodded. "That would make sense. But they'd need a really powerful Psychic to mindwipe everyone in town…and they must have a _lot_ of influence over this place to demolish so many buildings and make it seem like those places or people never existed in the first place."

Pikachu frowned. "That just makes our unknown enemy, the enigmatic being who almost destroyed the world centuries ago, that much more mysterious…and deadly."

Ash nodded. "Yeah…"

Pikachu glanced up at his partner. "How are you holding up? Do you need to take that thing off?"

"Huh? No, I'm okay," Ash said quickly. When he had first donned the blindfold and forced himself to use his Aura-sight exclusively to look at Treasure Town, he had almost fainted from sensory overload. He had gotten used to seeing the Auras of everything around him in Pokemon Square and in the wilds of Kanjohenn, but…those Auras had all been _cleaner_ somehow. Even the Auras of barbarians, while often grotesque, had retained a baseline of purity from the innocence they possessed at birth, even if there wasn't much of it left. The Auras of everything and everyone in Treasure Town, on the other hand…

Corrupt. Vile. Twisted. Rotting from within and without. Like most of, if not all, that was good about the Pokemon in Treasure Town had been drained away, either through their years of suffering and hardship or some kind of external force. Facing the sheer obscenity of these Auras up close, rather than from afar as he had while scanning the city from near the safety of Willy's comforting bulk, had been almost too much for Ash to handle.

And it didn't help that that disgusting miasma he had observed earlier was covering everything, and making all the bad he could see around him seem even worse. It was layered over every hovel, every trash heap, every beggar and crook and hooker and miserable victim in Treasure Town. It was seeping into their skin, melding with their Auras, slowly but surely making everything it touched just a little bit darker and colder and dead. Ash was beginning to fear that it was only a matter of time until the miasma tried to corrupt and change him and Pikachu too, so had not told his brother the entirety of what he saw to better protect both their sanities. There was no need for Pikachu to concern himself unduly with something that might be worry-induced speculation rather than fact, right? Especially if there wasn't anything he could do about it. Ash swore to himself that he would find some way to hunt down and destroy the source of this evil mist, for he was certain that it was at least partly responsible for everything that was wrong with Treasure Town.

His inner musing was interrupted when he saw something rather startling approaching: a Pokemon with a healthy Aura (albeit tinged with worry and fear), a Smeargle, running towards them. Well, not towards them per se, but running _away_ from something else. "Something's up. Someone's in trouble," he muttered to Pikachu.

"The Smeargle?" Pikachu asked, having also noticed the rather terrified-looking Pokemon as it rushed by them, though he couldn't see its Aura like Ash could. "Is he in actual trouble?"

Ash nodded. The thieving Bidoof was not the first Pokemon getting beaten up in the streets that they had run into, but after their encounter with the Plump Mouse and the events at the Poke' Pleasure Palace, they were wary of helping anyone else in Treasure Town without knowing for certain that they actually needed it. While Ash couldn't read people's minds, he could still sense some of their intentions and feelings through their Auras, allowing him to get at least some idea of why a poor and apparently helpless Pokemon was getting torn apart by a bigger, nastier one. Then they could decide whether or not they really needed to save that apparently helpless Pokemon or if they could just leave him or her to a deserving fate. This Smeargle, from what Ash could read of his uncorrupted, panic-filled Aura, was one such Pokemon in true need of a rescue.

_Especially _considering who he was running from. To anyone else, the small group of burly Pokemon sticking together as they steadily pursued the fleeing Smeargle would have looked like an average Treasure Town gang, albeit one who chose to clothe all its members in dark hooded cloaks in broad daylight…but there was nothing unusual about that really, not in this town.

What _was_ unusual was the fact that every one of the cloaked strangers had a jet-black Aura which writhed and burned like a flame of darkness, something far worse than the twisted and corrupted Auras of the people of Treasure Town all around them. Ash had _never_ seen an Aura like this before, and he was pretty certain his book would say very bad things about it. If that alone wasn't enough to make him suspect that there was more to these thugs than met the eye, there was the fact that their leader, a rather short Pokemon, was wearing a gold medallion under its cloak which glinted briefly as it caught the light for a split second. A medallion with a _very_ familiar symbol on it. And if you're wondering how exactly a blindfold-wearing Ash was able to detect a small medallion through the black Aura enshrouding the figure wearing it, it's because the medallion itself gave off an Aura…one even blacker than the Pokemon wearing it.

"I take it they're the bad guys," Pikachu murmured to Ash under his breath after the cloaked ones passed by them, following the desperate Smeargle into a nearby alley.

"In more ways than one," Ash murmured back. "They have the symbol."

Pikachu's eyes narrowed slightly. "Do they now?"

"Yep."

"Well then, I think we need to make their acquaintance, now don't we?" The mouse drew his sword. Stealthily, he and Ash both crept towards the alleyway.

…

Tracey Sketchit was not having a good day. He'd run out of paper and his favorite pencil had broken, so he'd needed to get them while he was in town, which was naturally very difficult since there weren't really any art supply stores, nobody in Treasure Town having the imagination or drive to create any artwork that didn't involve graffiti. Or body parts. The market didn't have any more of the fish his boss liked, and there was no Poffin to be found that didn't have drugs in it. He'd been forced to spend _way_ too much Poke' than he should have to get all the food, supplies, and other items he'd been sent out to collect, and even then he still didn't have everything on his shopping list. He'd been assaulted twice and almost robbed five times since he came to town, and a pack of bloodthirsty toddlers had chased him with skewers for ten blocks demanding his head (literally). And now, to make matters worse, he was cornered in a dark alley by a group of Pokemon whom he was fairly certain worked for the malevolent organization he and his boss were hiding from. "P-please, you can have anything, my food, my money, j-just…please don't hurt me!" he stammered, wringing his long paintbrush-tipped tail in anxiety, sweating at the sight of the very big and very cruel-looking hooded goons looming over him.

But it was their shrimpy leader who scared him the most. "Relax, Mr. Sketchit, you have nothing to hear from my companions and I…as long as you tell us what we want to know," the cloaked Pokemon crooned.

"Sketchit? I don't know any Sketchit. My name's Tom Ato, you've got the wrong guy," Tracey lied badly.

The short one tutted and drew back his hood, revealing the yellow face and trunk-like snout of a Drowzee. "Now, now, Mr. Sketchit, there's no point in trying to deceive a Psychic. I can always tell when you lie. If you continue to do so, I will have no choice but to _extract_ the information I want by force…which will, I'm afraid, destroy your mind and leave you a broken, gibbering wreck for the rest of your hopefully short life."

Tracey swallowed, but stood resolute. He knew he could not let these fiends have the information they wanted under any circumstances; he had already seen enough of their handiwork to know what fate awaited his boss and himself if he revealed their secrets. "I swear, I have no idea what you're talking about! I don't know anything of importance; I'm just a simple artist!"

The Drowzee nodded in agreement, his gold medallion glittering ominously with every motion of its wearer's head. "Yes, a simple artist…who happens to be the assistant of one of the world's leading scientists, and the only one who knows where he's hiding! So tell me, Sketchit, tell me the thing I most want to know. Tell me before I'm forced to tear your brain apart to find it out for myself: where is Professor Oak?"

"Funny, that's something we'd like to know, too!"

Surprised, the Drowzee whirled around to see Ash and Pikachu standing at the other end of the alley, the Lucario's muscles coiled and ready for a fight, the mouse's sacred sword out of its sheath and crackling with power. As his minions snarled menacingly at the intruders and took a few steps towards them, the Drowzee sneered. "A blind jackal and a mouse with a sword? How cute. Go on your way, children, this does not concern you."

Ash smirked. "You hear that? He called us children!"

"Hmmph." Pikachu swiped Thunder Fang through the air a few times, the sword leaving static trails behind it. "We'll just have to show him the error of his ways then, won't we?"

The Drowzee snickered. "You must be from out of town, otherwise you'd know by now that helping people here only gets you into trouble."

"Oh, we know that," Ash replied.

Pikachu nodded in agreement. "But we're good at getting ourselves into and out of trouble anyway, so we don't mind that much. And besides, helping people's sort of our thing. We're a Rescue Team, after all."

The Drowzee snorted, while Tracey's eyes widened with tentative hope, desperately praying that these strangers might be able to save him. "A Rescue Team? Pah. What heroic nonsense." He pointed at the heroes. "Kill them!"

With a snarl of fury, two of the Drowzee's escorts tore off their cloaks, revealing themselves to be a pair of Scyther. Hissing with rage, their eyes red and lusting for blood, the mantis Pokemon charged towards the brothers, their arm blades reared back to strike and eviscerate their prey…

…

To be continued…

…

And that ends that chapter. Sorry to end it in a cliffhanger, but I have to leave some excitement for the next chapter, don't I?

So, in the meantime, what do you think of Treasure Town?


	7. Street Fighters

And now, for some action! Oh, and exposition. By the truckload!

…

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters and places that do not belong to me. I do own the ones that do, though.

…

"A Rescue Team? Pah. What heroic nonsense." The hooded Drowzee pointed at the heroes. "Kill them!"

With a snarl of fury, two of the Drowzee's escorts tore off their cloaks, revealing themselves to be a pair of Scyther. Hissing with rage, their eyes red and lusting for blood, the mantis Pokemon charged towards the brothers, their arm blades reared back to strike and eviscerate their prey…

Pikachu quickly raised his sword to block the arm-blade of one of the Scythers as it swung down towards him. He conducted electricity into his already crackling sword so that when the Scyther hit it, it yelped and recoiled as it got a nasty shock. Pikachu immediately took advantage of the mantis's moment of surprise to slash three times with his blade before freezing in place dramatically. The Scyther blinked…then gawked in disbelief as first its arms, then its wings, and finally its torso all fell apart.

Ash, on the other hand, took a more defensive approach, using his Aura-sight to predict the Scyther's moves before it even made them and expertly duck and bob and weave out of the way of each consecutive blade swipe, both frustrating and tiring the insect Pokemon with each failed attempt it made to bite into the Lucario's flesh, and causing its attacks to get more frantic but also a lot sloppier. The instant Ash saw an opening in his foe's defenses, he thrust forward with a kick to the mantis's gut, flinging it backwards and causing it to slam into the narrow alley walls. As it slumped forward, Ash quickly dashed over and struck the bug with a flurry of punches and kicks, finishing it off with an Aura-powered uppercut which shattered the Scyther's jaw and sent it flying high into the air, so that it couldn't even yell, "I'm blasting off again!" as so many of the opponents Ash and Pikachu launched with their attacks seemed to for some reason.

"That all you got?" the Lucario asked the cloaked Drowzee with a cocky grin.

"No," the Hypnosis Pokemon said, snapping his fingers. His companions flung off their cloaks, revealing a strapping Tyrogue spinning a hooked chain, a rock-hard Graveller with spiked knuckles, a yellow and black striped Electabuzz with conductive gauntlets, and an absolutely immense dark blue and red Toxicroak which towered over everyone else and looked as if it had been taking steroids, growth hormones, and who knew what else to become at least five feet tall. All of them had writhing black auras, a deadly look in their eyes, and a mark somewhere on their bodies resembling the same symbol the Drowzee ringleader was wearing around his neck.

Ash and Pikachu balked (only a little) at the sight of the giant Toxic Mouth Pokemon. "He didn't look _nearly_ that big when he was wearing that cloak…" murmured an astonished Ash.

"I think we can still take them," Pikachu said confidently, holding the crackling blue Thunder Fang before him.

"You very well might be able to," the Drowzee agreed as the Toxicroak lowered its big blue head so that he could hop on. "But you will have to do so without us, I'm afraid. Mr. Sketchit and I will be continuing our conversation elsewhere, won't we now?"

"No, wait, stop! STOP!" Tracey screamed frantically as one of the Toxicroak's hands shot out, grabbing the Sketch Pokemon and lifting him into the air with its very tight (and probably poisonous) claws. "Help! PLEASE! Somebody HELP ME!" he wailed as the Toxicroak crouched down low to the ground before springing upwards, its powerful leg muscles launching it up and away from the alley in a single gravity-defying bounce. "HEEEEEELP!" Tracey shrieked as the giant blue frog carried him off into the distance.

"We have to save him!" cried the alarmed Pikachu. "He's our only link to Professor Oak! If we can't talk to him, we may never learn what we need to know!"

Ash rolled his eyes. "You think?"

The three Pokemon in front of them laughed evilly. "If you want to get the Smeargle, you'll need to go through us, first!" the Tyrogue sneered.

"And we don't plan to let that happen," the Electabuzz buzzed, punching his fists together, the metal of his gauntlets clanking as they struck each other.

The Graveler grinned. "Yeah, you're gonna regret messing with the Nihilators!"

The other two villains flinched, and Ash and Pikachu frowned in puzzlement. "The who?" Pikachu asked.

The Electabuzz punched the Graveler angrily. "You idiot, we're not supposed to let anyone know who we are! What part of 'secret society' do you not understand?!"

"Oh…sorry," the Graveler said sheepishly. "But, uh, we're going to kill them anyway, so does it really matter how much they know?"

The Electabuzz facepalmed. "Argh, didn't you pay ANY attention to the videos in basic training!? We're NEVER supposed to assume that we have the upper hand in a fight and cockily reveal secret information just because we're so damn confident that we're going to win; that sort of thing leads to an almost GUARANTEED lose for guys like us!"

The Graveler sweatdropped, causing some of his rocky body to erode. "Er, oh, sorry…I sorta fell asleep during the training vids…I figured that if anything important ever came up, I could just wing it."

"GAH! Stupid, stupid, STUPID!" the frustrated Electabuzz yelled, pounding the Graveler and causing the Rock Pokemon to only flinch a little, since the Electabuzz's physical blows didn't really hurt his thick skin a lot.

Ash and Pikachu sweatdropped. "They're almost doing our work for us…" Ash muttered.

Pikachu nodded. "Yeah, and every second they waste arguing, that Smeargle's being taken farther from us! Let's get this over with so we can chase after them!" He brandished his sword.

"The only chasing YOU'LL be doing…is into your graves!" the Tyrogue taunted.

Everyone gave him confused looks. "…That didn't even make sense," Ash said.

The Graveler smiled. "You slept through the training seminar on how to deliver witty and appropriate death threats and one-liners to good guys too?"

The Tyrogue laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his head. "Ah, actually, I was in the bathroom…you see, I had explosive diar-"

"TMI! TMI!" the Graveler shouted, putting hands over nonexistent ears.

Ash and Pikachu sweatdropped again. "I think these guys are the stupidest henchmen we've ever fought," Ash muttered, blissfully unaware that an even MORE incompetent trio would become a semi-permanent fixture in their lives in the very near future.

"Enough! ENOUGH!" the Electabuzz shouted, hitting both of his colleagues on the heads. "We're wasting time here! Just KILL THEM ALREADY!" Chastened, the goons hurried forward to do just that.

The Electabuzz's fists and horns crackled with electricity as he swung at Pikachu with a series of Thunderpunches. Lithely evading the punches using his smaller size and greater speed, Pikachu backed up to a wall then jumped upwards and kicked off it and over his opponent, just as the Electric Pokemon thrusted a fist forward and smashed it into the wall, getting it stuck in the dilapidated, crumbling structure up to his wrist. As the Electabuzz grunted and tried to pull it out, Pikachu descended towards his foe, sword aimed for the striped Pokemon's neck…

Only for the Tyrogue's chain to fly at him from out of nowhere, the weighted hook at the end causing it to wrap tightly around his leg. He yelped in surprise as the chain, wielded by the grinning Scuffle Pokemon, yanked him out of the air and slammed him into the wall on the other side of the alley before allowing him to hit the ground. The yellow mouse gritted his teeth and tried to get back on his feet, using his sword as a crutch, but the giggling Tyrogue yanked again on the chain to pull him off balance and drag Pikachu towards him. The smiling fool didn't realize the mistake of being connected to an Electric Pokemon via a highly conductive piece of metal until it was too late and the angry Pikachu sent several hundred volts of electricity down the chain wrapped around his leg and into the Tyrogue's hands, causing him to scream and smoke and convulse before being blasted off the chain and down the alley, bits of metal from the end he had been gripping fused to his palms. Ash, who was currently dodging messy paw swings and rocks hurled at him by the Graveler near the end of the alley, shot out a paw as the wailing Tyrogue flew towards him, causing the Scuffle Pokemon's back to be broken with a rather ugly snap upon contact with the Lucario's fist. His face got broken, too, when Ash's punch flung him into the alley wall and knocked him out, blood, drool, and a few teeth oozing from his mouth as he hit the ground. Pikachu smirked at this, shattered the chain with a blow from his Iron Tail to free himself, and quickly raised his sword to deflect an overhand strike from the snarling Electabuzz.

"Heh, nice moves for a blind mon!" the Graveler admitted, driving his four fists into the ground and unleashing a Magnitude quake which rocked the Rock Pokemon back, caused the walls around them to tremble and some weaker buildings and structures outside the alley to collapse, knocked over the dueling Electabuzz and Pikachu, and did nothing to Ash, who had foreseen the quake coming with Aura-sight and leaped off the ground the instant before the shockwave could hit him. "Oof…how'd you do that? With those weird enhanced senses blind Pokemon are supposed to have?"

"Something like that, yeah," Ash agreed, generating an Aura Sphere in his hands and firing it at the Graveler the instant he landed back on the ground.

The Rock Pokemon quickly rolled up into a Defense Curl ball so that the Sphere exploded against his stony hide, but did little damage. "Nice try, but not good enough!" the Graveler boasted as he uncurled. "My rock skin's completely impenetrable! Nothing can beat me!"

Ash rolled his eyes under his blindfold as he charged Aura into his fists. "You do realize that Rock-types are weak against Fighting-type attacks, right?"

The Graveler blinked. "They are?! Oh crap, I must have slept through that training seminar, too-"

POW!

Ash hit the Graveler in the face with a Rock Smash, sending the living boulder rolling head over heels into the back wall of the alley, smashing through it and causing the building it was a part of to collapse on top of him. A moment later, the Graveler, shaken but still intact, burst out from the top of the rubble heap he had been briefly stuck under. "Ha! Nice try, but I'm totally invincible!" he roared.

That's when cracks and fissures spiderwebbed across his body and he crumbled into a million tiny pebbles and bits of dust. Ash smirked and wiped rock dust off his paws. "Guess he slept through the training seminar about how saying stuff like that virtually guarantees you get defeated, too."

Pikachu didn't bother wasting his electrical attacks on the Electabuzz, knowing it would only be a waste of power since they were both Electric Pokemon. He presumed that was the same reason the Electabuzz was relying on physical attacks like Mega Punch, Swift, Focus Blast, Iron Tail, and the like. The attacks were powerful, but Pikachu was too fast to get hit by most of them. Unfortunately, the Electabuzz had pretty good reflexes, and the metal on his gauntlets seemed to be strong enough to deflect most of his sword strikes or repel his other attacks. However, Pikachu was fairly certain that the addition of his brother to the fight would be more than the enemy Electric Pokemon could handle.

His train of thought was interrupted when the Electabuzz not only deflected his latest sword thrust, but grabbed the blade with one of his gauntleted hands in the instant when Pikachu's grip on the blade was loosest, ripping it out of the rodent's paws and flinging it away. "Ha! What're you gonna do without your weapon, little mon?"

"Who says I need it?" Pikachu asked, ramming into the Electabuzz's chest with a headbutt and shoving him backwards into a punch from behind delivered to the Electric Pokemon's back by Ash. The Electabuzz gasped as his body curved backwards in pain from the blow…before releasing a powerful Discharge which pushed Pikachu back and momentarily stunned Ash. Months of training with Pikachu had given Ash a limited immunity to Electric attacks and paralysis, but the Electabuzz's attack had been strong enough to surprise (and hurt) him for a brief moment and catch him off guard long enough for the striped monster to swing an Iron Tail upward into Ash's crotch. As the Lucario gasped and doubled over in pain, the Electabuzz grinned and drove a Mega Punch forward at Ash's head…

Only for Pikachu to ram into the side of the Electric Pokemon's fist with his head, knocking it off course and causing the Electabuzz to bury his gauntlet in the ground rather than in Ash's skull. The Electabuzz swore and tried to wrench his fist from the ground, but Pikachu, who had been busy retrieving his sword while his enemy had been beating up his partner (he had known Ash could take it) 'helped' him by severing the yellow and black Pokemon's arm at the elbow, cutting off his hand. The Electabuzz screamed and jerked back, his severed stump gushing blood, but his screaming was cut off when a recovered Ash got back to his feet and hit the tiger/cat/electric/thing in the chest with an explosive Force Palm, flinging him into (and cracking!) the alley wall, where he slid to the ground, groaning in pain.

He struggled to get back to his feet, but Ash grabbed him by the neck and slammed him against the wall again. The Electabuzz grimaced and prepared to electrify him again, but when the tip of Pikachu's sword lightly touched his chest he decided it would probably be better to stay still for the moment. "Okay, talk!" Ash snarled, his crotch still sore from the Iron Tail. "Who the heck are you guys? What's the deal with your Auras? What do you want with Professor Oak?"

"And what exactly is your organization up to? Just who are the 'Nihilators?'" Pikachu asked sternly. "And what have you done with our friends Misty and Gardevoir?"

The Electabuzz just laughed at them. "Ha! Don't even bother trying to interrogate me. Grunts like me have been trained to kill themselves before revealing any important information, our last words vague and cryptic statements that leave more questions than answers in the minds of our enemies."

"But you're not dead," Pikachu pointed out. "I mean, you lost your hand-"

"Lower arm," Ash corrected.

Pikachu rolled his eyes. "Lower arm, but other than that, you seem fine."

The Electabuzz grinned. "Yes, well, that's what we have suicide pills planted in fake teeth for. Yoink!" Before they could stop him, he bit down hard enough to shatter one of his own teeth and a small object inside of it, spilling its contents down his throat. Within moments, he was convulsing, and blood and foam started dribbling down his chin as his eyes rolled back in his head.

"No!" cried a horrified Ash. He reached desperately into his knapsack for an Antidote, but Pikachu shook his head, positive that the chemicals flooding through the Electabuzz's system were working too quickly for any antitoxin to cure. "Why?" he asked in dismay, shaking the dying Electric Pokemon angrily. "Why did you kill yourself just to protect your organization's secrets?! Life is so much more valuable than that! What have they done for you to inspire such loyalty?!"

"They have…great stock options," the Electabuzz rasped. "And the afterlife retirement plan is to DIE for…literally…heheheheh…" And then he died.

Ash shook him a few more times, but he said nothing else. Upset, he dropped the corpse to the ground. "Why? Why did he do that?" he whispered to himself, shocked by how abruptly and casually the Electabuzz had killed himself rather than reveal his secrets.

"I guess they trained him well," Pikachu grunted. "He certainly did what he promised to do. What do you suppose he meant by 'afterlife retirement plan?' Aren't the only people who can offer those gods?" He frowned. "Does this mean our enemy might be some sort of god? That could explain a lot…"

Ash sighed and shook his head. "It doesn't matter. Let's go find that Drowzee before he does anything to that poor Smeargle, maybe _he'll_ be more willing to give us answers!"

"What about that Tyrogue? Couldn't we interrogate him?" Pikachu asked, glancing back at the Fighting-type he and Ash had defeated.

Ash laughed nervously. "Uh, I think I accidentally snapped his neck when I hit him into the wall…"

Pikachu gave him an exasperated look. "You've _really_ got to stop doing that…"

…

It wasn't particularly difficult to locate their quarry. Aura, like scent, left certain 'trails' in the environment that someone sensitive to it could use to track down the owner of said Aura. While all Auras were unique, many of them were alike in certain regards, which sometimes made it hard to pick a single person's Aura out of a huge crowd. But despite the gloomy miasma in the air and all the confusion Ash might usually have gotten due to all the blending and clashing Auras one could find in any heavily populated area, it wasn't very difficult to locate the pitch-black Aura of the big Toxicroak and follow it to its source. (That, and the trail of craters, collapsed buildings, and pissed-off townsfolk the big frog left in his wake made it fairly obvious where he had gone.)

"It never ceases to amaze me that you can track someone for miles using their Aura as your only guide, yet can get hopelessly lost in the forests just outside of town, despite theoretically being able to use your OWN Aura to retrace your steps and get back to where you started," Pikachu commented.

"Shut up," grumbled Ash.

They soon found the Toxicroak, the Drowzee, and the Smeargle in an oddly vacant plaza, everyone who would normally have been occupying it standing listlessly just outside with blank, glassy looks in their eyes. "They've been hypnotized," Pikachu deduced after waving his paw in the face of a young Nidoran and getting no response.

"Clearly," Ash agreed, making funny faces before a dangerous-looking Rhydon. Pikachu rolled his eyes at his brother's antics and dragged him into the plaza.

The Drowzee, the Toxicroak looming protectively behind him, had Tracey pinned in a corner, the Smeargle's fur practically soaked in fearful sweat. "Now, Mr. Sketchit, I believe I've been more than patient with you, but since you continue to refuse to tell me the information I seek, I'm afraid I'm going to have to stop toying around and utterly destroy your mind. I don't think you'll like that very much, now will you?" the Drowzee said menacingly.

Tracey swallowed. "P-please, don't! I _swear_, I have no idea what you're talking about!"

"You're lying," the Drowzee said calmly, his eyes beginning to glow blue ominously. "Say farewell to your sanity, Mr. Sketchit." His hands began to move…

And the Toxicroak growled loudly, alerting his master that they were not alone. "I wouldn't commit him to an asylum just yet," Ash quipped. "I mean, you don't exactly seem like a licensed psychotherapist or anything."

"If anything, _you're_ the one who should consider having your sanity checked, considering you're a member of an evil organization that's (probably) trying to destroy the world," Pikachu added.

"What? You're still alive?!" the Drowzee cried incredulously. "How?!"

"Your henchmen weren't exactly the toughest bunch around," Ash said. "Barely finished training, most of them. Though the Electabuzz seemed pretty savvy."

"Well of course he was, he's a higher-ranked member of…wait, why am I telling you this?!" The Drowzee glared at them. "You two are clearly more dangerous than I thought. I'll have to take care of you myself." His eyes started glowing, and he began to move his hands in eerie patterns. "**Rodent, draw your sword and run your partner through, then fall on your own blade!** **Jackal, make no attempt to stop your companion!"**

Nothing happened. "Sorry, I don't really feel like it," Pikachu said glibly.

"Yeah, dying's not on my schedule for the day," Ash agreed.

The Drowzee blinked in surprise, his power fading. "What? My Hypnosis had no effect?"

Pikachu shook his head. "As a samurai-in-training, I have honed my mind to focus on the now and the reality around me, so that I am as sharp and focused as a blade, cutting directly to the truth rather than being blunted by illusions, falsehoods, or mind games."

"And I'm blindfolded," Ash added helpfully. "So, you know, we can't make eye contact or anything."

"Ah," said the Drowzee. "Hmm. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to kill you, then. Or rather, my friend here will, with some assistance from yours truly." The Toxicroak took a step towards the brothers, leaned forward, and bellowed loudly in their direction.

Ash and Pikachu grimaced. "That guy could use a dentist," Pikachu commented.

"And a plastic surgeon, because he is _uuuu_gly!" Ash agreed. The Toxicroak sniffed, but it was hard to tell from his grotesque features whether the insult angered him or hurt his sensitive feelings.

"Well, since you all are going to be busy, I'll just get out of your way-" Tracey said, trying to creep away.

"**You will stand here and do nothing until this battle is over,**" Drowzee intoned, Hypnotizing Tracey.

The Smeargle instantly stood ramrod-straight, arms pressed against his sides. "I will stand here and do nothing until this battle is over," he repeated in a monotone.

The Drowzee smiled. "Very good." He levitated himself into the air and landed on top of the Toxicroak's head. "Now, gentlemen, let's begin, shall we?" His eyes flashed, and the blue waves of a Disable attack rippled out from the Drowzee, blowing dust away from the Toxicroak and causing Ash and Pikachu to flinch as the psychic blast shoved them backwards. In the instant they used to recover, the Toxicroak charged forwards at astonishing speeds, the red talons growing from the back of its hands glowing as venom was pumped into them. Ash and Pikachu quickly jumped out of the way as it slashed down with one of the talons, cutting through the air and smashing into the ground, causing bits of rock and gravel to fly everywhere. Pikachu deflected the rocks with his Iron Tail, while Ash simply broke the ones which flew towards him with his bare hands.

The Drowzee laughed and used Disable again, causing them to flinch and allow the Toxicroak, talon glowing, to thrust a Poison Jab at the apparently defenseless Ash. Ash recovered just in time to catch the claw in his paws, wincing as the heat radiating from the talon burned against his skin and fur. The Toxicroak reared back with its free hand, preparing to drive another Poison Jab into Ash's brain, but Pikachu jumped off of the arm Ash was holding and shot towards the other one, his blade flashing through the air as he passed it. The poison frog cried out in pain and surprise and reared back, freeing Ash as blood and purple poison gushing from the stump on its hand where Pikachu had cut off the venomous talon. The Drowzee growled and exerted his power, eyes glowing as he concentrated on the severed claw, which was flying through the air as Pikachu gracefully arced down towards the ground. Taking control of the broken claw with his telekinetic abilities, the Hypnosis Pokemon sent the talon flying towards Pikachu from behind like a poisonous, very sharp missile. "Pikachu, look out!" Ash cried in alarm.

He need not have bothered. His rear appendage glowing, Pikachu deflected the claw with a deft swing of his Iron Tail, sending it spinning through the air towards the Drowzee at high speeds. Alarmed, he reflexively fired a Shadow Ball at it, causing it to explode and create a brief cloud of smoke that engulfed the frog and its rider…

A cloud which cleared just in time for the Drowzee to see Ash flying towards him, fists burning with a bright blue Aura. The Drowzee yelped and crossed his arms over his chest, causing a shimmering spherical green Protect force field to form around him just before Ash's punch could connect with his face. Much to the Drowzee's alarm, Ash's attack actually caused the shield's surface to ripple and bulge inward a little, but thankfully it didn't break. As Ash was pushed backwards, knocked away by the recoil from his failed attack, the Toxicroak grabbed the Lucario in the same limb that had lost its talon and slammed him into the ground, dragging his face along the rocky and broken cobblestones and hurting his nose A LOT. Fortunately, Pikachu intervened by driving his sword into the Toxicroak's wrist and letting loose a close-range Thundershock, causing the frog, the Drowzee, and Ash to scream in pain as the electric current shot through their systems. It also caused the Toxicroak to let Ash go as it stumbled back, groaning and clutching its wrist in pain as residual static crackled across its body.

"Are you okay?" Pikachu asked Ash in concern.

"I've been better," Ash grunted as he got back to his feet and, with a grimace, managed to snap his somewhat broken snout back into shape. "Ouch…that's gonna take more than a few Potions to fix…."

"You little…you're going to pay for that!" the Drowzee growled angrily, eyes glowing red as he used Psychic, lifting a number of rocks, pieces of wood, broken nails, and giant rusted saw blades that had been lying about into the air with his telekinesis before flinging them all at Ash and Pikachu. The Toxicroak opened his mouth and belched out several dozen glowing purple Poison Sting needles to make the projectiles that much more dangerous.

The duo sweatdropped. "Ah, crap," Ash groaned.

"What are giant rusted saw blades even doing here in the first place?!" Pikachu asked.

"I hate this town," Ash grumbled in reply.

The duo quickly leapt into action. Using the Vacuum-Cut move he had learned from the TM he had _finally_ been able to purchase from the Kecleon Bros. before they had left Pokemon Square, Pikachu was able to fire crescent-shaped energy blades at the projectiles flying towards them just by swinging his sword. Normally the blades would have been invisible, but because he was using Thunder Fang they were blue and crackling with electricity. His sword was just that cool. Ash was forced to just hurl Aura Spheres and hope for the best. Their cuts and energy balls managed to thin the herd coming towards them, but there were too many overall to destroy completely. Thankfully, they got rid of enough of the projectiles that they could use their agility to evade the rest.

And then the Toxicroak vomited Sludge Bombs all over the place, black blobs splattering all over the ground and hissing as they dissolved the stones around and under them, the toxic sludge creating a number of poisonous pools all over the plaza which limited the freedom with which Ash and Pikachu could move about…and, naturally, didn't hinder Toxicroak himself one bit. The Drowzee giggled at the exasperated looks on the brothers' faces and hurled some Shadow Balls at them as the Toxicroak charged towards the duo.

"I'm getting sick of this guy," Ash growled as they quickly, and reluctantly, ran away from the big blue frog and the giggling madman hurling energy balls at them from its head, trying to avoid the poisonous pits in their path as they went.

"I have an idea, but I need you to distract him for a minute," Pikachu muttered to Ash in a low voice.

Ash smirked. "I have just the thing." He stopped in his tracks and whirled around as the Toxicroak and Drowzee approached, allowing Pikachu to run on ahead. "Hey, ugly! Wanna play a little game?"

"No, not really," said the Drowzee. He paused. "…Which of us were you calling ugly?"

"The ugly one, of course," Ash joked, causing both the villains to scowl. "You don't really have a choice in the matter. It's a little game I call 'Pick the Lucario!'" His figure blurred, and suddenly several dozen illusory Ashes, all somewhat blurry due to the extreme speed Ash needed to maintain to generate his doubles, appeared in a ring around the Toxicroak and his rider. "Can you tell which of us is the real one?" all the Lucarios asked simultaneously as they began generating Aura Spheres. "Come on, it'll be fun!"

The Drowzee frowned in thought as the Toxicroak glanced about him uncertainly. "Hmm…I could use my psychic abilities to tell which of you is actually using your brainpower and tell at once that it's the real one…_or_ I could do this." Snickering, he used Disable, the blue energy wave washing out from him and dissipating all of the fake Ashes on contact, while causing the real one to gasp and stumble, momentarily stunned, when he got hit. "Aha! Finish him!"

The Toxicroak's arm immediately shot forward in a Poison Jab. Ash, regaining his wits, countered with a punch of his own, channeling as much Aura as he could into his fist so that he wouldn't get affected by the poison frog's venom. Their knuckles collided with a powerful clash which shook the plaza and sent an air wave rippling outward from their point of contact; opposing energies crackling around both fighters as each struggled to overcome the other, pure blue throwing itself against diseased purple. The Toxicroak was bigger and had more muscles, but Ash was no weakling himself and could increase his strength by pumping more Aura into his arm (though it would leave him reaaaaally tired afterwards), so despite the power both combatants were throwing at each other, the two of them were pretty much evenly matched. The Drowzee couldn't have that, so he began charging up his power to blast Ash into the bubbling sludge pit behind him while he was too busy trying to fend off the Toxicroak's Poison Jab to resist…

And suddenly realized something was off. "Hey, where'd the other guy go?"

Having a sudden premonition (not surprising, since he was Psychic) he immediately used Protect, and a good thing too, since Pikachu had been about to drive Thunder Fang through his ribs from behind. Unfortunately for the cloaked psychic, he activated his force field literally milliseconds before the sword was about to pierce his body, and as a result, the green shield formed…with the tip of the sacred blade stuck inside. The sword wasn't broken, and it hadn't penetrated the Drowzee's flesh, but since the shield had formed around it its very proximity created a hole in the Hypnosis Pokemon's defenses. He and Pikachu both knew that the electric mouse only had to push the sword forward just a little more with all his might to finish piercing the barrier and skewer his prey.

The Drowzee, not really looking forward to that, opted to instead lower his Protect and _immediately_ use Psychic to fling Pikachu as far away as possible, before he got turned into a shish-kebob. Even with split-second timing, he almost didn't make it, Pikachu managed to scratch him with his sword just before he got caught by the psychic's telekinetic grip, but only succeeded in shredding the Drowzee's cloak. That made the psychic angry, though, since it had been his favorite cloak, and all the others were at the cleaner's. "You-!" Infuriated at the desecration of his cloak, and more than a little frightened by how close he had come to getting killed, the Drowzee hurled Pikachu in the direction of the nearest poison pool. Undeterred, the mouse refused to give up, managing to fire a parting Vacuum-Cut at his enemy as he was hurled away. Alarmed, the Drowzee immediately raised another Protect to, well, protect himself…

Only to find, far too late, as the energy blade pierced and ruptured the Toxicroak's left eye, that his steed had been the target all along. The Toxic Mouth Pokemon bellowed in agony and reared back, retracting his hand from his duel with Ash and clutching his newly blinded eye in pain. The Drowzee yelled in surprise and had to hold on tightly to his ride's head spike to keep from getting flung off and landing in one of the poison pools. Ash smirked, briefly thinking to himself that it was too bad the Toxicroak had to rely on both its eyes and didn't have the benefit of a second form of sight like he did, then quickly bounded towards and leaped over the pit his brother was about to fall into, snatching him in midair and putting him safely on the solid ground on the other side. Exchanging brief grins of triumph, Ash raced back towards their foes as the Drowzee tried to regain control of his wailing, wounded partner, intending to take full advantage of their current state of confusion and disarray. "Hey, elephant-face!"

Feeling the stinging memories of old wounds and a great deal of childhood trauma, the Drowzee's head snapped around angrily. "I'm a _tapir_, not a-" He was interrupted when Ash delivered a spectacular Aura-fueled blow to his left cheek, breaking his long trunk-like snout and causing saliva, blood, and a few teeth to fly from his mouth in the process. "Uhhhhhh!"

Ash's feral, victorious grin was wiped off his face as the enraged Toxicroak knocked him away with his free hand. Fortunately, it was the hand whose claw Pikachu had cut off, so Ash didn't have to worry about getting poisoned, but it still hurt a little. He thought his ribs might have gotten bruised. Still, at least it was worth messing up the short yellow psychic's face! "Good job," Pikachu commented as Ash flipped in midair and landed next to him.

"Yeah. Too bad you didn't kill him, though," Ash said.

Pikachu shrugged. "Well, you know how often plans go awry in battle. It's nothing worth worrying about. Besides, you did a pretty good job of improvising, if I do say so myself!"

Ash smirked. "Heh, thanks."

The Drowzee, shrieking in pain and rage, clutched his wounded face. "Argh! You! YOU! HOW DARE YOU TOUCH ME?!" He panted, gasping for breath. "This…this has gone on long enough! I clearly misjudged you…but I still have one last ace left up my sleeve!"

He flicked his wrist, and a syringe filled with an eerily glowing purple liquid slid out of his sleeve and into his hand. Ash gasped as he saw the Aura of the syringe. There was something very…_wrong_ about it. It looked even darker than the pitch black Auras enshrouding the Drowzee and Toxicroak, if that were even possible! Pikachu glanced at Ash in concern, noticing the horrified look on his face. "Ash? Is something wrong?"

"What…what _is_ that?!" Ash stammered in disbelief.

The Drowzee sneered. "You'll find out soon enough!" A wicked grin on his face, he drove the syringe into the top of Toxicroak's head, pushing down on the plunger and directly injecting its contents into the poison frog's brain.

The effects of this action were immediate; the Toxicroak rose up to its full height, flinging back both its arms and roaring in pain (and _ecstasy?)_, eyelids squeezed shut over its blinded left optic. The frog's body began to bulk up, muscles forming on top of muscles as the Toxicroak became even _bigger_, adding an extra foot to its already-impressive height (for most Pokemon, anyway) and becoming at least twice as tall as Ash. Its blue skin darkened to a jet black, and its remaining yellow eye turned an ominous blood red. The now even more-grotesque Toxicroak croaked evilly, sounding like something summoned from the depths of the Abyss.

And, if that weren't bad enough, it's already freaky Aura had gotten even worse, somehow becoming _darker_ and obtaining a throbbing red fringe similar in color to the monster's single eye, looking like a black flame that absorbed rather than radiated light. "That Aura…I've never seen anything like it!" Ash gasped.

"Neither have I," Pikachu agreed.

Ash blinked and stared at his brother. "Wait, you can see it too?!"

Pikachu nodded. "Yeah. I'm not supposed to, right?"

Ash frowned. "Then something _really_ messed up is going on…"

"You can say that again!" the Drowzee said, cackling with glee, the glow from the now _completely _visible Aura surrounding Toxicroak combined with his broken and disfigured features making him look rather demonic. "This is the power of Shadow, something you pathetic heroes have never encountered before…and never will again, once my friend here is through with you! He _really_ liked that eye, you know…" The Toxicroak croaked in agreement.

Pikachu blinked, while Ash started, certain he had heard that word in that context somewhere before. "Shadow? Did you turn your ride into a Dark-type or something?"

The Drowzee laughed at this. "Dark-type? Ha! Dark-type Pokemon are but pale shades compared to the dark power of Shadow!" He didn't seem to notice or care how redundant that statement was.

"Shadow…Dark Power…Shadow Pokemon?" Ash muttered to himself. Hadn't he read about something like that in _Secrets of an Aura Master_? What had it said about them? He couldn't remember…and why did he get the feeling he had heard about them from somewhere else, before he had even laid eyes on the book?

"Let me show you this power firsthand! Use Shadow Rush!" the Drowzee commanded.

The 'flames' of the Toxicroak's dark Aura darkened and intensified, and without warning the big frog charged towards the duo, his Aura thickening in front of him as he ran. He had become a _lot_ faster than he had been before, and Ash and Pikachu almost didn't jump out of the way in time. The darkened Toxicroak sped past them, smashing into a dilapidated building at the edge of the plaza and causing it to collapse on top of him. However, the frog was undamaged in the slightest, its strange Aura seeming to actually _deflect_ the chunks of debris which would normally have hit it, and the Drowzee defended himself with Protect, as usual.

"What was that?!" cried Ash.

"It looked like a Take Down or Giga Impact, only…_wrong,_ somehow," Pikachu said with a shudder.

Ash frowned. "Pikachu, something's very wrong here. We have to be careful, this guy's become a _lot_ more dangerous than he was before!"

"You can say that again!" the Drowzee cackled. "Use Shadow Wave!" The Toxicroak obeyed, punching the ground with a fist burning with dark Aura and sending shockwaves of writhing, jagged purple and black energy racing across the ground towards the duo. Ash and Pikachu naturally tried to jump over the waves…only to find, much to their surprise, that the waves _exploded_ right underneath them, causing them to be engulfed with dark energy from below which flung them away, purple and black smoke trailing from their forms. The blast had hurt a _lot_ more than they had thought it would, and the energy from the waves felt…not just wrong, but like it was _defiling_ them somehow. Both Pokemon felt like they'd need a cold shower and more than a few healing Potions before the disgusting, _probing_ feeling they'd experienced went away.

"Well, that was fun," Pikachu grunted as he struggled to get back to his feet.

"That all you got?" Ash taunted foolishly. "Are all your attacks 'Shadow' this or that?"

"No," said the Drowzee. "Use Hyper Beam!" The Toxicroak opened its mouth wide, energy gathering in his maw before firing a HUGE yellow-orange energy beam, one that looked almost as big as the one Rayquaza had fired at them when they had battled him atop Sky Pillar (and he had a BIG beam, let me tell you), at the horrified brothers. They quickly jumped to the sides, trying to get out of the way of the blast, but the Toxicroak turned his head at the last minute, sweeping the beam in the direction of Pikachu, the troublesome mouse who had caused it so much pain. Ash gasped and immediately changed course, shoving Pikachu out of the way and taking the super-powerful Hyper Beam in his brother's place. "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

"ASH!" Pikachu cried in horror as his best friend was engulfed in the energy blast.

"Haha, it's super-effective!" the Drowzee cried as the beam petered out and a smoking, blackened Lucario fell to the ground. "One down, one to-" Pikachu pulled out a Max Potion from his bag and sprayed it on Ash. The item boosted Ash's body's healing system, causing it to regenerate all his burnt flesh, regrow his fur, and get him back to his feet in no time. It also fixed his nose, which had still been slightly askew even after he reset it. "Go?" The Drowzee blinked. "Er, how many of those do you happen to have?"

"A few," Pikachu commented as Ash brushed himself off, relieved to see he wasn't dead.

"Ah," said the Drowzee. "Hmm. This is going to take a while." He shrugged. "Oh well, that just means I'll have to hurt you again and again until you finally die. Poison Jab!" The Toxicroak dashed forward, its remaining talon glowing and crackling as its weird Aura enhanced its power. The duo quickly jumped forward and to the side, flying past the frog as it drove its claw into the ground instead of either of their bodies. Pikachu slashed at the Toxicroak's sides as he passed, and Ash fired a few Aura Spheres, but neither seemed to have much of an effect, other than causing the dark Aura on either side of the beast to diminish slightly, only to return to full blast after they were gone. Neither the Toxicroak nor its rider seemed to notice or care about this.

The Poison Jab, boosted by whatever strange drug had enhanced the Toxicroak's powers and given it that strange Aura, not only broke up the ground where it had hit the pavement, but caused poison to gush all over the place, covering the floor and turning the entire plaza into a bubbling purple swamp. Alarmed, Ash quickly reached into his knapsack and hurled a Fill-In Orb at the ground just before they could land in the muck, the crystalline sphere bursting on impact and releasing a coagulating agent which caused the poison closest to it to harden and leave a rather uneven and porous but still solid piece of ground to stand on behind. "That was a little close," Pikachu said in relief as they landed, the surface stinging his feet a little but not poisoning him. He hoped.

"Yeah, but now we don't really have many places to go, and I only brought a few of those," Ash said uneasily as the Toxicroak turned back towards them, the Drowzee rubbing his hands gleefully.

"Poison Sting!" the Hypnosis Pokemon commanded. The black frog opened its jaws and spat out several dozen black venomous needles at the duo. With nowhere to run (at the moment) they were forced to defend themselves by blasting at the stingers with Aura Spheres and Vacuum-Cuts, and dodging the rest in the small space available to them.

"Ash, have you noticed that the Toxicroak now only attacks when his master tells him to? He seems to have lost most of his initiative now that he's become…whatever he is," Pikachu observed while deflecting some of the remaining needles with his sword.

"He tried to fry you just a minute ago," Ash pointed out as he evaded the last stingers.

"Yes, well, I _did_ take out his eye," Pikachu reminded him. "That's rather hard to forget."

Ash nodded in agreement. "True. So, you're saying that if we could take out the Drowzee, the frog might not be as hard to beat?"

"Shadow Wave!" the Drowzee ordered. Toxicroak punched the ground, sending waves of Shadow Aura at the heroes. The waves were very wide, so that if the duo attempted to leap out of the way they would get hit by them, causing them to fall into the poison before they could use any of their remaining Fill-In Orbs.

Pikachu responded with a vertical Vacuum-Cut, his own energy blade racing across the surface of the swamp and slicing the evil energy waves in two, so that they would flow right past them without harming the duo. As the wave struck the Toxicroak and did nothing other than briefly diminishing its Aura, Pikachu continued explaining his idea to Ash. "Yes. He seems to concentrate less on attacking us himself and more on directing his steed now that it's gone into that weird state. He can still defend himself, though. But, if we could make it so that he has to focus _completely_ on guiding the Toxicroak, …"

Ash grinned. "I got you. And I think I have just the thing for that in here." He patted his knapsack. "Can you distract him for a moment?"

Pikachu nodded. "No problem. I'll need a few more of those Fill-In Orbs, though. So I have more room to maneuver."

"Sludge Bomb! Sink that little island of theirs so they have nowhere to run!" Drowzee ordered Toxicroak. The frog opened his mouth and spat out half a dozen blobs of black _burning_ sludge at the duo.

Ash quickly pressed two Orbs into Pikachu's hands. "I only have a couple left. Move!"

They both jumped off their solid little platform in separate directions, the Sludge Bombs impacting where they had just been standing and causing their foothold to melt back into lethal poison. Pikachu tossed down one of the Orbs Ash had given him to create a safe platform to land on, certain his friend the Lucario was doing the same. "Hey, big guy!" he yelled at the Toxicroak. "How would you like it if I took out your other eye?"

The Drowzee frowned at this. "You're not going to let him get away with that, are you?" The Toxicroak shook his head. "Then get him with Shadow Rush!"

The Toxic Mouth Pokemon charged towards Pikachu, dark Aura swirling around him. Pikachu threw his last Fill-In Orb several feet away and quickly jumped over to the new platform before he could get trampled beneath the big frog's feet. As it passed by him, Pikachu fired a Thunderbolt at the monster…and was surprised when the Toxicroak's Aura flared up and actually _deflected_ the electric attack! "What?! How is that possible?!"

"That can't be…" an astonished Ash, standing on his own platform, whispered to himself. "According to my book, only high-level Aura Guardians can use their Auras as shields! How's he…" He frowned, worrying that this might ruin his plan. Then he recalled how the amphibian's Aura had diminished slightly when he and Pikachu had attacked it earlier with Vacuum-Cuts and Aura Spheres. It made sense that his Aura Spheres might have made an effect, since they were made from the same energy as the beast's shield (although his Aura was pure, while the Toxicroak's was clearly corrupted, hence why his Spheres might have reduced it) but why did Pikachu's Vacuum-Cuts do something while his Thunderbolt did not?

It came to him in a flash. Pikachu's Vacuum-Cut had briefly shrunk the Toxicroak's Aura because his sword was the sacred Thunder Fang, and whatever that Aura was, it was _definitely_ nowhere near holy. Much the opposite in fact. So, if the sword could get through the shield, and if his own Aura had an effect…he nodded, making a few amendments to the plan he had already formulated in his head. "Pikachu! Your electric attacks won't work, but your sword will!"

Pikachu nodded, understanding at once. As the Toxicroak emerged from the rubble of the building it had just destroyed when it failed to crush him and turned back towards its prey, Pikachu powered up his blade and thrust it point-down into the edge of his platform, causing an electric charge to go deep into the ground, run underneath the poison, and explode right underneath the venomous frog, engulfing it and its rider in a high-voltage blast which penetrated and actually _dissipated_ the monster's Aura (the visible part, anyway, Ash could still see the rest of it, since Aura didn't leave a body until its owner was dead) and caused both the fiends to howl and convulse in pain. When the charge faded several seconds later, the Toxicroak fell to its hands and knees, gasping for breath, as did the Drowzee, though he was clinging to his ride's spike rather than falling to his knees because otherwise he'd fall off and land in the poison. The giant frog's Aura began to regenerate…but slowly, so that it wasn't as thick and virulent as before, not yet anyway. Ash smirked, impressed, and used his very last Fill-In Orb to create a clear space between his platform and Pikachu's, so that he could hop over to where his brother was standing. "Nice work."

Pikachu nodded. "Yeah, but we're not through yet." He was right, Toxicroak, breathing heavily, was getting back to its feet.

"Use the platforms I made to get on the thing's left side and draw its attention," Ash whispered to Pikachu. "Then its right eye will be wide open!"

Pikachu nodded. "Got it." He hopped across the 'bridge' platform and landed on the space the Lucario had originally made when escaping from their first clear space before its demise. "Well, it looks like the two of you enjoyed that. Care to have another taste?" He raised his blade threateningly.

"Oh no you don't! Toxicroak, destroy him with Hyper Beam!" the Drowzee shrieked, his voice raspy and raw from all the other screaming he'd done so far. The Toxicroak lowered his head, opened his jaws, and fired another incredibly large orange-yellow energy beam at his nemesis. Pikachu charged up Thunder Fang and brought it down in a vertical chop as the beam shot towards him, his blade splitting the blast in two before it could hit him and causing the energy to flow around him on either side, like a river's waters being divided by a rock in its path. "Now, Ash!" Pikachu cried, struggling with all his might to keep the beam from overwhelming him.

"Huh?" The Drowzee whipped his head around just in time to see a Blowback Orb, a Foe-Stun Orb, a Lob Orb, a One-Shot Orb, a Rocky Orb, a Geo Pebble, and a couple of Aura Spheres flying towards him, each flung at him consecutively by Ash's powerful throwing arms. "Oh no you don't!" Turning his attention to the projectiles, he grabbed the thrown objects telekinetically and flung them into the paths of the Aura Spheres, destroying all of them in a powerful explosion. "Ha! Nice try!"

"Yes," Ash agreed with a grin as he finished infusing a Corsola Twig with some of his Aura, a new trick he had learned from _Secrets of an Aura Master._ "It was, wasn't it?" Taking advantage of the smoke cloud hovering between him and his enemies, made by the explosion, he hurled the twig at Toxicroak, aiming for where his Aura-sight told him the giant frog's right eye was. The sharp Corsola branch whistled through the air like an arrow, trailing blue flames thanks to the infusion Ash had given it, flying through the smoke cloud and out the other side. Due to its intense speed and glow, the Drowzee mistakenly thought it was another Aura Sphere and quickly Protected himself…

Except, once again, he wasn't the target. Had Ash just thrown a regular Corsola Twig, it would have been obliterated by the Toxicroak's powerful mutated Aura. But by infusing the twig with enough of his Aura to penetrate the frog's shield, and taking advantage of the Shadow Aura's still-weakened state due to Pikachu's previous attack, the enhanced Twig pierced the Toxicroak's defenses and imbedded itself in its right eye, casting the monster's sight into permanent blackness.

The Hyper Beam cut off as the Toxicroak shrieked in rage, agony, and terror at the loss of its vision, rearing back and clutching its right eye with both hands, and once more nearly throwing the Drowzee off. "No! No no no no no! This can't be happening!" the Hypnosis Pokemon screamed.

"Afraid it is," Ash said with a smirk.

Pikachu nodded, wiping away some sweat and downing an Elixir to regain some of his strength. "And now that your mount can't see, you're little more than a sitting tapir."

"That's where you're wrong! Even without eyes, he can still fight and destroy you!" the Drowzee claimed desperately. "I'll prove it! Toxicroak, use Shadow Rush on that Pikachu! He's to your left!"

Toxicroak bellowed in fury and charged forward…running right past _Ash_ and crashing into another building. Ash and Pikachu giggled. The Drowzee coughed and waved his hands to blow away the dust that had blow up from the shattered structure. "What? No! I said LEFT, not…okay, let's try this again. Fire Sludge Bombs in a wide arc right in front of you so that it will cover the plaza and get rid of all those 'safe spots' those meddlers who blinded you are standing on!"

Toxicroak opened its mouth and spat out several Sludge Bombs…in the entirely wrong direction, not only missing the plaza ground but lobbing over the rooftops of the surrounding buildings so that they crashed down elsewhere in the city, signified by yells of alarm and screams of agony from whoever was unfortunate enough to get hit by one. Ash and Pikachu chuckled. The Drowzee facepalmed. "Argh! Okay, try Shadow Wave! All you need to do is punch the ground, how hard could that be?!"

Very hard, as it turned out. Fist burning with dark Aura, the Toxicroak drove its left arm downward…and drove its poison talon into its own foot. Ash and Pikachu's sides shook with raucous laughter as the Toxicroak hopped about on one foot, holding its injured one in pain, while the enraged Drowzee shouted curses and obscenities at the top of his voice. "Fine! FINE! You may have done more damage than I thought…but I'm not through yet! You forget, I'm a Psychic-type! By linking my mind to my larger companion's, I can take control of all his motor functions and use my eyes as a substitute for his until we can get him healed up properly back at HQ! It'll be a strain, but with my superior intellect in complete control, it shouldn't take very long to finish the two of you off! I can't believe I didn't think of this sooner!" His eyes glowing red, he pressed his palms against the surface of Toxicroak's skull. The poison frog paused in its painful hopping, then put both feet on the ground and rose back up to its full height, muscles tense and claws poised to tear the duo apart. "And now…you die!"

Ash and Pikachu exchanged glances and hidden smiles. This was even better than they had hoped! Drowzee seemed to have forgotten one small flaw in his plan: if he was devoting all his psychic power to controlling Toxicroak, then there was none left for him to defend himself. All they needed was the right opening, and the dream-eater would be chewing on his last nightmare. Ash decided it was up to him to provide that opening. "Yeah, well, I don't really fell like dying today." He crouched into a fighting stance and made a beckoning gesture. "Come on, show me what you're made of! Let's see if your punches are still as strong now that someone else is pulling the strings!"

The Drowzee cackled. "Ha, I'm even stronger now that Toxicroak is in Hyper Mode and I'm controlling him directly! Let me show you the power of Shadow! Poison Jab!"

The poisonous frog charged forward as it had so many times before, its sole remaining venom claw glowing darkly. Ash braced himself, shunting his Aura into his fists once more, and shot his arm forward just as the Toxicroak reached him, claw and fist colliding in a powerful clash of energies just as they had before. Unlike last time, however, they were not evenly matched, Toxicroak's Shadow Aura (whatever the heck that was) while weakened around the beast's claw by Ash's own Aura, was still too much for the Lucario to handle. Slowly but surely the frog gained ground, pushing Ash closer inch by inch to the edge of his platform and the lethal venom beyond. Drowzee, enjoying the sensation of manipulating his larger companion's body like a skilled puppeteer, licked his lips maliciously, joyfully anticipating the death of the irritating jackal that had hurt him…

And suddenly realized that this all seemed rather familiar. His eyes widened in horror. "Wait, where's-"

He never got to finish his sentence because that's when Pikachu cut his head off from behind. The headless corpse slid off of Toxicroak and landed on the ground in front of Ash with a thump, while the severed cranium arced through the air, trailing blood and brains and stuff, before falling into the poison, where it slowly dissolved into nothing.

The Toxicroak stopped pushing against Ash, feeling a moment of confusion as control of his body was returned to him—as was his lack of eyesight—but he didn't get much of a chance to ponder this before Pikachu drove Thunder Fang into his brain and Ash ran forward and pressed his hands into the amphibian's chest, letting loose a full-power Force Palm which penetrated the beast's protective Aura, ripped through the frog's torso, and exploded out the other side in a fountain of blood and blue fire.

The Toxicroak gasped, blood dribbling down his chin. His Aura trembled, coiled, _screamed_…and evaporated like a bad dream exposed to the sun's cleansing light. Groaning, the Toxicroak fell forward, Ash nimbly getting out of the way and Pikachu extracting his blade from the frog's skull and hopping off as the monster hit the ground and lay there, still and silent and very much dead. Ash and Pikachu glanced around them as the poison covering the plaza steamed, cooled, and hardened into a solid mass, becoming a smelly but no longer threatening substance which would probably never be cleaned up and be yet another sour point for Treasure Town in general.

"Cool," Ash commented, pulling off his blindfold and looking at everything with his biological eyes. "How'd that happen?"

Pikachu shrugged. "The Toxicroak's death caused the evil power animating the toxins to dissolve? Who the heck knows?" He frowned. "What I really want to know is what exactly _happened_ back there…that weird Aura which I was somehow able to see, the way the big frog became so much bigger and stronger, that mysterious vial, and answers to who exactly these 'Nihilators' are and what it is that they're up to."

Ash nodded in agreement, feeling the same way. "I'm going to take a look in my book when we get a chance. That might give us some answers. And if it doesn't…" He gestured with his head over towards Tracey, who had been standing in the same spot during the entire battle and had miraculously been unharmed by any of the dangerous attacks flying around. "Maybe this guy can tell us what's really going on."

Pikachu nodded in agreement. "Let's hope so."

They approached the Smeargle, who was still standing stiffly with a dazed look on his face. "Hey, you all right? We just saved your ass," Ash said to the dog/monkey thing.

"I will stand here and do nothing until this battle is over," Tracey said in a monotone.

"The battle _is_ over, you can move now," said Pikachu.

"I will stand here and do nothing until this battle is over," Tracey repeated dully.

"He's still hypnotized," Ash observed.

Pikachu rolled your eyes. "Clearly. So, how do we snap him out of it?"

The Lucario grinned slyly. "The usual way, of course."

Ash whacked Tracey on the head. The Smeargle winced, coming out of his trance. "Ow! What'd you do that for?!" He blinked. "Hey wait, what happened? Where's the yellow guy with the nose?"

"We killed him," said Pikachu.

"And his muscle," Ash added. "We saved your life and freed you from the trance you were put under."

"Oh. Um, thanks…" the Smeargle said awkwardly. He blinked and looked past his saviors at the war-torn plaza behind them. "Wow…" Tracey whispered in awe, taking in the hardened poison covering the ground, the wrecked buildings surrounding the battlefield, and the corpses of his tormentors. "That must have been quite a fight! Of course, you _did_ have the advantage, so you probably didn't have to try too hard. Still, it's a shame I missed the whole thing."

The duo exchanged confused glances, pretty sure that they had pulled out most of the stops and fought with just about everything they had to win that last fight. "Advantage? What do you mean?" Ash asked.

"Well, you're part Steel-type, aren't you?" Tracey pointed out. "That makes you completely immune to all the toxins a Poison-type like that Croagunk over there could throw at you."

There was a long pause. Pikachu's eye twitched, and slowly he turned his head to glare at his partner. "Ash? Why didn't you mention this before?"

Ash laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his head. "I, uh, guess I forgot…" Pikachu and Tracey facefaulted.

"You FORGOT?!" Pikachu yelled after he got back up. He sighed and shook his head in exasperation. "Ugh. That is _so_ like you…"

"Uh, anyway, thanks again for rescuing me," Tracey said. "My name's Tracey Sketchit. Who are you guys?"

"I'm Ash and this is Pikachu," Ash told Tracey.

"We're a Rescue Team from Pokemon Square, here on a mission to find some friends of ours," Pikachu added.

Tracey blinked. "Pokemon Square…" He gasped. "Oh! Does that mean…you know Misty and Gardevoir?!"

Ash and Pikachu were taken aback, surprised to finally find someone in this Arceusforsaken place who knew who they were looking for. "Yeah, but…how do _you_ know them?"

"Well…" Tracey paused and glanced around. "This probably isn't the best place to talk about that. When we first met, you guys mentioned you were looking for Professor Oak too, right?"

The brothers nodded. "But for good reasons, not like whatever those guys were up to," said Pikachu.

"We got a letter from Misty and Gardevoir telling us that they were being chased by those guys, and that if we tried to come looking for them we should start by seeing Professor Oak in Treasure Town," Ash explained.

Tracey's eyes widened in astonishment. "So _that's_ what happened to them…I was afraid of that…" His face fell. "Then does that mean they got…"

"The map?" Ash shook his head. "_We_ have that. It was sent along with the letter." He started to take the mystical artifact out of his knapsack.

Tracey shoved it back in frantically. "What're you, crazy?! Don't take that thing out in broad daylight! They might see it!" he hissed. Ash and Pikachu exchanged uneasy glances, recalling that they had already done just that during their earlier circuit around town. Tracey glanced around again. "It's not safe here. You want to see the Professor and figure out what the heck is going on around here? Then follow me." He headed for the closest street leading out of the plaza, casting furtive looks over his shoulder for any sign of unseen enemies as he went. Ash and Pikachu, left with no other options, followed him.

…

Tracey led them in a rather circuitous route through the slums of Treasure Town, presumably to shake off any Pokemon who might be following them, though he didn't say that in so many words. He didn't say anything, actually, apparently not trusting the walls around him to keep silent about whatever secrets he might reveal.

After several minutes of walking around and going in so many circles Ash was starting to get dizzy, Tracey finally came to a stop at the end of a very cramped, dark, and dingy crevice which was less an alleyway than a tiny gap made between two buildings by the sagging of walls and the shifting of the ground their not-too-sturdy foundations were built on. As Ash and Pikachu blocked the entrance into the crevice so that nobody could see what was going on in there, Tracey did something (they couldn't see what, since their backs were turned and their attentions focused on the not exactly harmless crowds shambling about on the street outside) that made a clicking noise, followed by the scraping sound of rock grinding against rock. "Come on," Tracey whispered up the crevice to his rescuers.

They turned around, backs still blocking the entrance to the crevice, and saw that a perfectly circular hole had appeared in the ground, a secret tunnel with ladder rungs leading down into a dark (and smelly) unseen place. "We're not going down there, are we?" Ash asked uneasily, wondering if his poor nose would ever get some respite. He had taken scent suppression training, but there was only so much awful smell that his poor nose could take.

Tracey nodded. "I'm afraid so. Come on, we won't be down there for too long." He dropped into the hole, climbing down the rungs into darkness. Reluctantly, Ash and Pikachu followed him.

It was a surprisingly long climb down. By the time they reached the bottom, the hole they had come through was just a tiny pinprick of light several yards over their heads. Tracey, who was waiting for them, pulled out a flashlight from the large satchel he had been carrying and switched it on, revealing that they were in a long, winding subterranean corridor with crumbling walls covered in moss, slime, and…other things on all sides. The floor was made of dirty flagstones, with fungus, rocks, and what looked suspiciously like bones littered all over the place. The ceiling was rather low except for the spot they had entered from. When Tracey pressed an inconspicuous stone on the wall and the opening above them was sealed up by a concealed hatch, darkness pressed on the trio from all sides, save for the beam emanating from Tracey's flashlight. It was fortunate that neither of the brothers were claustrophobic or afraid of the dark, but then again, as a Rescue Team, they had entered caves and labyrinths just as dark and mysterious as this, so they were used to this sort of thing by now.

"Where are we?" Ash asked. "The sewers or something?"

Tracey shook his head. "Nah, this town doesn't have indoor plumbing. Not the part we were in, anyway. Everyone just throws it out on the streets."

Ash and Pikachu recalled what the streets they had just been walking on looked like and exchanged looks of disgust. "Well, I guess that explains some of the smell," Ash said.

"And those rather unsightly stains," Pikachu agreed with a grimace. "So if this isn't a sewer, what is it?"

"Well, ancient humans, as well as many Pokemon both past and present, have a habit of building new houses, colonies, cities, etc., on top of the ruins of old ones. Treasure Town is no different," Tracey explained, talking as he started to lead them through the dark catacombs. "The settlement you saw on the surface is only the latest incarnation of Treasure Town. It's built on top of layer after layer of ruins, each from a city that was built here in a specific era and eventually abandoned or destroyed, going back for thousands of years!"

Ash and Pikachu were naturally very surprised by this. "What were all those cities doing here?" Pikachu asked.

"Professor Oak has theorized, from examining carvings and writing samples from the many different layers, that the more recent cities were built here by people trying to find the treasure buried deep underground—uh, you know about that, right?" Ash and Pikachu nodded. "Oh, good. Right, so the more recent ruins belong to cities that were built by people trying to find the treasure. But the Professor thinks that the most ancient ruins deeper beneath the earth, including the oldest and first ones at the very bottom, were constructed by people—and not necessarily humans _or_ Pokemon, at that--who were trying to either _protect_ the treasure from the outside world…or to protect the outside world from _it._"

Ash and Pikachu exchanged glances. "That fits in with what Gardevoir said in her letter, about the big mysterious door underground."

Ash nodded and shut his eyes, using Aura-sight to look at their surroundings. "The miasma I saw on the surface is down here too…but thicker, somehow. If its source is the door the treasure's sealed behind, that would make sense, wouldn't it? It's welling up to the town above us from down below…" He frowned. "I dread to think what it must be like in the deeper parts of this place."

Tracey gave him a puzzled look. "Miasma? What miasma?" Ash quickly explained about his Aura-sight and the evil fog he had seen all over town, and down here in these tunnels. The Smeargle was impressed and worried when he heard about this. "Wow! So you can really see people's Auras? And you saw…that just by looking around?" He frowned, troubled. "And everyone up there was infected by it…um…how do I look to you?"?

"You're fine," Ash assured the Smeargle.

Tracey sighed in relief. "Phew…" He frowned. "But why am I fine, then? I spend lots of time in town…then again, I live outside of it with the Professor, and only come into town when we need supplies…perhaps that has something to do with it."

Ash nodded in agreement. "Yeah, maybe you don't stay long enough for the miasma to get its hooks into you…and when you leave, its power fades. Or something. I'm sort of making this up as I go along…"

"What are you doing with the Professor outside of town?" Pikachu asked. "And for that matter, how do you two know each other in the first place?"

Tracey started, causing his flashlight beam to bounce around and cast weird shadows all over the place. "Oh yeah, I never told you, did I? I'm Professor Oak's research assistant. I was his student at Poke' University, and he brought me along as an intern when he came to Treasure Town to research its history and the legend of the ancient treasure."

"Ah, so Oak is a Professor of history and archaeology?" Pikachu deduced.

"Archae-what?" Ash asked.

"Ancient things," Pikachu said.

"Oh," said Ash.

Tracey nodded. "Yeah. He also specializes a little in mythology, biology, and poetry."

"Poetry?" asked a surprised Ash.

Tracey nodded fervently. "He's famous in many circles for his skill with haikus."

"I've never heard of him before now," Ash said petulantly.

"Ash, do you even know what a haiku is?" Pikachu asked.

Ash hesitated. "Um…it's some kind of sushi?" Pikachu and Tracey facefaulted.

"Haikus are a form of poetry written in three lines, the first and third lines made up of five syllables and the middle line of seven, for a total of seventeen," Tracey explained.

Ash sweatdropped. "Uh, yeah, that was my second guess."

"Anyway," Tracey said, changing the subject. "The Professor and I came here to look into the town's history and the treasure legend and see if there was any truth to it. Everyone in town knows about these catacombs, and uses secret passages to access them from the surface to get from place to place quicker than they would just by walking on the streets."

Ash closed his eyes and glanced around. "I don't sense anyone down here now."

"Well, ever since the Professor and I were forced to leave the city, I've tried to use tunnels nobody frequents or knows about to get in and out of and around town," Tracey explained. "Secrecy is a must, because those goons who caught me on the surface are searching everywhere for the Professor and I, even down in these passageways! I've had to be very careful to avoid getting captured, but today might have been the end of it if you guys hadn't shown up."

"I take it they're the ones who burned down the place you were staying at," Pikachu guessed. "And all those other buildings in town."

Tracey nodded. "And brainwashed the townspeople so they wouldn't remember it, or any of the other places they've demolished and the people they've killed. They control quite a lot of this town. I don't really know who the heck these guys actually are and what the source of their incredible power is, but they're not your average evil organization, I can tell you that much…"

"The guys we fought said they're known as the Nihilators, and have something called 'Shadow' on their side," Ash recalled. "Does that mean anything to you?"

Tracey shook his head sadly. "No…but the Professor might! Nihilators, huh? Sounds like 'Annihilators.' What, are they out to destroy the world or something?" He frowned. "Well, if they get their hands on that treasure, they just might…"

"What exactly _is_ this super-evil treasure, anyway?" Pikachu asked out of curiosity.

"To be honest, we don't know," Tracey said sheepishly. "All we've seen is the door, and just from the look of that thing, I can tell you we never want to see it opened!"

"Why were you driven out of town, exactly?" Ash asked, getting them back on topic.

"Well, it all started soon after we met your friends Misty and Gardevoir," Tracey said. "We'd been in town for a few months, and so far turned up no leads or new information about the treasure. I was actually starting to lose hope that we'd find anything worth publishing…and then one day two gorgeous Pokemon walked in the door saying they had a magical map which led to an ancient treasure and the keys to opening said treasure, and that someone had directed them to the Professor since he knew so much about that sort of thing, was from out of town, and because if they went to see him they wouldn't be bothering anyone else."

"The people of this town are so helpful and conscientious," Ash said sarcastically.

"Naturally, the Professor and I were ecstatic when we saw the map. There were old stories about there being a map that led to the treasure and its seven keys, but we had been unable to turn up anything concrete on it until then. We didn't even care that we could barely make out anything on it, the fact that it was _real_ was all that mattered to us!" Tracey smiled fondly at the memory. "Since they had the map, and could see it, and we knew more about the legends of the treasure and whatever truth there might be in them than pretty much anyone else in town (what with our college educations and background research and all), and knew a little more about how to get around town than they did, we agreed to team up to find the treasure. Well, until they would have to go home, anyway. Since they were only in town on a supply pick-up and all." He glanced back at Ash and Pikachu. "But, as you and I both know, neither them or their friends ever made it back…"

Ash and Pikachu shook their heads sadly. "And you're not sure what happened to them either?" Ash asked.

Tracey sighed and shook his head. "The last we saw of them was when they hit the road for Turtle Town…but I'm getting ahead of myself. The Professor had deduced long ago that the treasure had to be buried somewhere in the catacombs under Treasure Town, which fit with the legend. That, and there was nowhere else it could logically be. However, people have been searching these catacombs for centuries and never found a trace of it; these ruins are so big that a guy could get lost forever and die without ever seeing the light of day again." He hesitated. "That, and there are…_things_ in the lower levels which might discourage treasure hunters from delving too deep."

Ash and Pikachu glanced at each other. "What kind of…things?" Pikachu asked.

Tracey shrugged. "I've never seen them myself. They're afraid of light because they've dwelled in darkness all their lives, so avoid people who bring bright lanterns and torches with them. However, there are a lot of stories about the things that lurk down here, and none of them are especially pleasant." The brothers grimaced. Tracey continued. "Anyway, we hoped that, now that we had the map, we could navigate the catacombs and figure out _exactly_ where in them the treasure was. And we did! Well…with some help from Gardevoir, anyway."

"How do you mean?" Ash asked.

"The map only showed that the treasure was in the spot where Treasure Town was. It didn't elaborate or explain exactly where, though," Tracey said. "Probably because it was made a really long time ago, before Treasure Town and all those other cities were built here, so the ancients who made it never thought people might have trouble finding it one day." He frowned. "Or maybe they did that on purpose…after all, if nobody knew where the treasure was, it would be a lot harder for someone with evil intentions to find and use it, right?"

"I would have just stuck it in Pikachu's closet," Ash joked. "Once you put something in _that_ mess, you'll never see it again." Pikachu glared at him. "What? You got to riff on me a lot earlier, now it's my turn!"

Tracey rolled his eyes. "Anyway…the map didn't tell us where the treasure was hidden, but Gardevoir was able to figure it out by using her psychic abilities to interface with the spells woven into the map and access the treasure's exact location from their memory…or something…I don't have a clue how, but she did it! She was able to lead us all the way to the lowest and most ancient level of the catacombs…I marked our path so we could find our way back, naturally," Tracey said, wiggling his paintbrush tail.

"Works better than breadcrumbs," Ash observed.

Pikachu nodded in agreement. "We know that from experience…"

"Anyway, after winding our way through the labyrinthine ruins of the ancient and monolithic city, we found the treasure…or rather, the door guarding it," Tracey continued. "It was…indescribable. You'd have to see it to understand the wonder and…well, dread we all felt when we gazed upon it."

"We probably will, too," Ash grumbled.

"Even though we were a little scared, we were still ecstatic that we had found the thing, the first people in recorded history to ever do so! And then…" Tracey grimaced. "We saw the footsteps in the dust. The switched-off floodlights. The empty coffee mugs. The heavy machinery and half-eaten sandwiches. Little telltale traces here and there which told us that someone had gotten there before us."

Ash blinked in surprise. "Who?"

"The Nihilators," Pikachu guessed.

Tracey nodded. "Considering the N-styled graffiti on the walls, that's probably who it was. Naturally, we got a little spooked and hightailed it out of there before whoever had set things up around the door came back and found us there. Once we got back to the surface, we started to worry that we weren't the only people looking for the treasure…and we started getting the feeling that someone or something was watching us." He shivered. "We were right. Someone must have seen us leaving the treasure's hiding place, and knew that now somebody else was aware of its secret too."

"What happened after that?" Ash asked.

"Misty and Gardevoir started getting worried that they might have gotten into something a bit more dangerous than they had expected. They decided to leave Treasure Town, taking the map with them, and try and find the keys to the ancient door, because Gardevoir had a bit of a premonition—I don't know if it was an actual one or just a bad feeling—that if they didn't find those keys, somebody else would. Considering what we had seen down below, that seemed like a very realistic fear. After examining a map of Sinnorre and comparing it to the magical one, the Professor told them the first key was somewhere around Turtle Town. We agreed to stay behind and keep researching to see if we could find out anything more about the door and the people who must have built that ancient city to protect it, as well as who or _what_ had found it before we did. We escorted them to the city limits and saw them on their way. That was the last we ever saw of them. After that…well, everything got worse."

He glanced back at his new friends. "You know that Gardevoir and Misty weren't the only people from your town here, right? There was also a whole team here to purchase supplies to help Pokemon Square prepare for some kind of siege?"

Ash nodded. "We saw what was left of the inn they were staying at. The Nihilators killed them all, didn't they?"

Tracey nodded. "Probably. We didn't know them very well, and they resented us a little for sending Misty and Gardevoir off on a dangerous mission all by themselves…but we didn't want to see them dead. The same thing might have happened to us if the Professor and I hadn't managed to escape to the catacombs through a secret entrance in our house just before the assailants trying to break in and kill us gave up and tried to burn the place down with us inside of it. We barely made it out of there alive…" He shook his head sadly. "We were pretty much on the run after that. I thought we should go back to the University, but the Professor insisted that we had to stay behind, that whatever was going on here was too big for us to turn our backs on. He was certain that people from Pokemon Square, possibly friends of Misty and Gardevoir, would come looking for answers eventually and we'd need to be there to tell them what was going on and keep them safe before whoever killed their friends and made Misty and Gardevoir vanish got them too." He smiled ruefully. "Though it didn't quite work out that way, did it? You two wound up saving me instead. I owe you big time for that."

"It's nothing," Pikachu assured him.

Ash nodded. "Yeah, we do this sort of thing all the time. That's what Rescue Teams are all about!"

Tracey blinked. "Oh yeah, you're a Rescue Team, right? You mentioned that when you first appeared. It slipped my mind."

Pikachu nodded. "Yes, we're Rescue Team Aurabolt."

"One of the best in Kanjohenn!" Ash bragged.

"Ah…now I remember, I think Misty and Gardevoir told us about you guys…they said that Ash was nice but about as dense as his second type and Pikachu's a little too fixated on swords and honor for his own good," Tracey recalled.

The duo facefaulted. "They really said that about us?" Ash whined.

"Well, actually, just Misty did. Gardevoir was full of praise for you two," Tracey said.

Pikachu sighed. "Figures…"

"Anyway, we found a good hiding spot and settled down to wait, watch, and research; gather as much knowledge as we could to help ourselves and whoever else needed it. While the Professor searched tome after tome and worked on translating as many ancient hieroglyphics as he could, I explored more of the catacombs to find safe routes to travel from place to place, since there were a lot of people up on the surface looking for us. I guess when those Nihilators or whoever they were didn't find our bones in the ruins of our house, they knew we were still out there, and didn't stop looking for us."

"Why did they try to kill you guys, anyway?" Ash asked. "And the supply team? And erase everyone's memory of it or kill anyone who got involved with them?"

"Hard to say, but if you ask me, it's because we know too much," Tracey said. "We know that they exist, and we know, to some extent, what they're after. We're a potential threat to their operations. They can't allow people like us to stay alive, because we might be able to figure out how to beat them."

"They're right to be afraid," Pikachu said, eyes as sharp and steely as his sword. "Now that we're here."

Ash nodded in agreement, punching a fist into one hand. "We're going to find those Nihilators and put a stop to them…and get Misty and Gardevoir back!"

Tracey gave Ash a surprised look. "You think they're still alive?"

Pikachu nodded. "We have it on good authority that they are."

"A friend of ours who happens to be a seer said that the Nihilators kidnapped Misty and Gardevoir since they're the ones who opened the map and could read it," Ash explained. "And they need the map to find the treasure keys, but can't read the map themselves, so would need to get someone who's capable of doing it to fulfill their evil plans. That's why they kidnapped the girls!"

"Oh," Tracey whispered, eyes widening in realization. "So that's why…well, I hope for their sakes that they're not only alive, but still in one piece. I've seen enough in this town alone to know that there are some very, _very_ bad things you can do to a person without killing them."

Ash and Pikachu nodded morbidly. "We know that too," said Pikachu.

"We have evil people back home too," Ash said. "They don't need to live in an evil-polluted city to have an excuse to be bad, though."

"So," Pikachu said, changing the subject. "Now that we're all caught up on everything…could you tell us exactly where you're taking us? I presume we're going to wherever you and Professor Oak are hiding via these underground passageways."

Tracey nodded. "That's the idea, yeah. As I've already mentioned, a lot of the entrances to the catacombs are watched, and the Nihilators patrol through some of the areas down here. Makes sense that they'd know their way around, seeing as how they somehow got to the big door before we did. However, this place is too big a maze for anyone to know every square inch of it, and there're lots of places they don't know about that I do. Using those areas, we're going to get to the Professor without getting caught."

"And then we can finally get some answers," said Ash.

Pikachu blinked. "Uh, didn't we just get them? I mean, Tracey here just told us almost everything we wanted to know."

There was a pause. "Oh," said Ash. "Yeah. I guess he did."

An awkward silence filled the dark underground passageway. Guided only by Tracey's flashlight, they ventured further into the darkness, in search of Professor Oak.

….

Elsewhere…

"Sir! The agents we sent to Treasure Town to capture Tracey Sketchit have all been killed, including XD130!"

"What?! Who is responsible for this?"

"A Lucario and a Pikachu, sir, definitely from out of town. They managed to rescue Sketchit and evade our plainclothes agents, presumable escaping into the catacombs. We have reason to believe that they might possess the missing map."

"…A Lucario and a Pikachu? Could it be…look into this further. And send someone who's on punishment detail to tell the Doctor. You know how he gets when he hears that one of his beloved creations is destroyed…"

…

And so the secrets have been revealed! Well, some of them, anyway. And there was some sweet fighting. That's always cool, right?

The Nihilators…who are they, and what are they up to?

Anyway, next time we finally get to meet the elusive Professor Oak! Won't that be fun?


	8. Professor Oak, I presume?

No fighting this chapter, but we'll finally get to meet Professor Oak! And see the mysterious door…

…

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters or places that don't belong to me. Everything else is mine.

…

After what felt like an hour or so of trekking through long, dark, winding corridors, Tracey's flashlight, memory, and the occasional paint smudge on the wall all that told them they were going in the right direction, the trio finally reached a shaft at the end of a dark tunnel similar to the one they had used to enter the underground in the first place. Tracey pressed a brick in the wall, and a hatch at the top of the shaft slid open, a beam of sunlight shooting down to illuminate the tunnel. Ash and Pikachu squinted against the sudden bright light, having grown accustomed to the darkness of the subterranean passageways and the rather dim and gray environs of Treasure Town. "This is our stop," Tracey said, switching off his flashlight and sticking it in his satchel. "Come on!" He started climbing up a set of rungs bolted to the side of the shaft up towards the sunlight. Eager to get outside, Ash and Pikachu quickly climbed up after him.

They emerged onto a shockingly beautiful grassy plateau with wildflowers, rocks, and some slightly withered trees here and there. The air was sweet and clean and bore the fresh scent of seawater and fish and coming autumn, and the brothers sighed in bliss as their long-suffering snouts were given relief from the odors of the tunnels and the even fouler stench of Treasure Town. A tall triangular rocky outcropping looking sort of like the dorsal fin of a fish jutted out from the ground nearby, its gray and moss-covered surface practically glowing as sunbeams gently kissed it from the west. The reassuring sounds of the tide and Wingull squawking and bickering with each other good-naturedly as they fished and tended their children and nests on the cliff face below washed over them, and it took a few minutes for the members of Team Aurabolt to reluctantly pull themselves together and take a closer account of their surroundings.

They were on a cape atop a high cliff extending out into the sea a couple of miles to the west of Treasure Town, which Ash and Pikachu could see off in the distance, looking like a blight on the landscape. The contrast between the gloomy town they had just been in and the nice green cliff they were on now was rather striking; everything for about a mile or so outside of the town was overshadowed by dark gray clouds and smog rising from the hundred of smokestacks jutting up from the myriad buildings in Treasure Town, and all the ground was barren and lifeless, with only a few ramshackle farms situated here and there outside the city 'walls' to show that anyone was trying to make a living off this lifeless expanse. The fact that few, if any, crops could be seen in the farms' dry fields made it rather clear that the owners of the property weren't doing very well. Nearly all the space outside the town walls that wasn't occupied by dying or dead farms was filled up with rather pathetic structures built on top of and leaning against each other that were so badly made and poverty-stricken that they gave hovels a bad name. Whoever lived in them must surely be the poorest of the poor, their only blessing (if one could call it that) that they didn't actually have to live in the town proper, which would only compound their suffering.

Right outside the furthest edge of these properties and barren fields, however, the landscape seemed to recover and become healthy again. The grass was growing, the sun was shining, and there were even a few trees dotting the plains surrounding Treasure Town. The dark cloud that constantly hovered over the miserable village stopped at the clear demarcation between barren and fertile lands and showed no signs of wanting to cross over, even if the wind were to blow it that way. There were no homes or farms out on the greener fields either, even though those would surely do better than the pathetic excuses for houses and places of business clinging to Treasure Town's crumbling outer wall. It was almost as if the townspeople were _afraid_ to leave the dubious 'shelter' of the grim place that they called home.

"That can't be natural," Pikachu commented.

Ash closed his eyes and (reluctantly) gazed at Treasure Town using his Aura-sight. "It isn't," he reported. "The miasma covering the town stops right where the barren land ends and the grass starts growing again. That's probably the outer limit of whatever power's making Treasure Town so dark and, well, evil. Everything past that point is perfectly normal and healthy, including where we are."

"Fascinating…" murmured Tracey, who had just finished rolling a boulder back on top of the tunnel they had climbed out of. "That would correspond with what the Professor theorized, too…we didn't know about the miasma, but we knew that the door, or something down there, was making the town all weird but leaving everything outside a certain boundary alone. We figured that was the extent of its power, or else it would spread out and drain the life and hope from everything on the continent. Assuming it could, that is."

"I wouldn't put something like that past whatever's down there," Pikachu growled, reflexively putting a hand on the handle of his sword.

"So, where is this place?" Ash asked Tracey.

"This is Sharpedo Cape," Tracey explained. "A natural geological formation just to the west of Treasure Town (as you can already tell), and the current hideout of the Professor and I."

"Why's it called Sharpedo Cape?" Pikachu asked.

Tracey pointed at the westernmost edge of the plateau. "Because, from out to sea, you can see a rock formation on the top of the cliff, just below where we're standing, that sort of looks like a Sharpedo's face."

"Oh, I get it," Ash said, looking at the nearby rock promontory. "And the rocks here look like a Sharpedo's back fin! That's part of it too, right?"

Tracey nodded. "That, and because Sharpedo hang out in the water at the base of the cliff because lots of people come here to either jump off the cliff and kill themselves or get thrown off by murderers who don't want to leave any evidence that could be traced to them by the families of their victims behind. The Sharpedo never go hungry, from what I hear…and trust me, I hear plenty, considering the Professor and I sort of live here now."

Ash and Pikachu blanched at this. "And you never did anything to _stop_ any of this?!" Ash demanded.

"Well, we could have, but then that would cause people to start getting suspicious of the Cape and start poking around and maybe bringing the Nihilators down on us…" Ash and Pikachu gave Tracey disappointed looks. The Smeargle sighed. "Fine, we built a net on the underside of the cliff, where nobody could see it, so we could catch suicides or people who were being 'disposed of.' Then the Professor used Amnesia on them to erase their memories of ever encountering us and either sent them back to town or encouraged them to move someplace else. You happy?"

"Yes," Ash said smugly.

"So, where exactly is this hideout of yours?" Pikachu asked, glancing around. He didn't see anything. Then again, it was a secret hideout, so that wasn't surprising.

Tracey beckoned them towards the rock formation. "Over here."

"It's inside the rock?" Ash guessed.

"And under it, too," Tracey responded. "Now let's see, where's that switch again…" He felt the various bumps and knobs growing out of the rocks. "Darn it, I always forget where that thing is…"

On a whim, Ash closed his eyes and looked at the rocks with his Aura-sight. Now that he was gazing at it with his second sight, he could see tunnels inside the rock through the semi-transparent (to him) walls, as well as… "Here," Ash said, squeezing his paw into a very narrow cleft in the wall and pressing the secret pressure switch hidden deep inside.

The ground shook slightly, and there was a rumbling grind of rock against rock as a four foot-tall rectangular slab of stone on the side of the promontory recessed an inch or so back into the apparently not-so-solid rock and slid to the side, leaving a carved passageway behind.

"Impressive," an impressed Pikachu commented.

"Yeah, it is," Tracey said, rather surprised. He glanced at Ash. "How did you…" He smacked his forehead. "Right, Aura-sight. I sure could use some of that. I don't suppose you could teach me how to do that trick?"

"Only people who have a natural propensity for manipulating Aura can do stuff like this," Ash said apologetically.

"Figures," Tracey said with a disappointed sigh. "Oh well. Come on in and I'll introduce you to the Professor."

Tracey and Pikachu entered the passage. Ash made to follow, only to discover a little problem. "Uh, guys," he called after his friends, tugging on the paw he had wedged into the fissure to press the secret switch. "I think I'm stuck…"

…

After they managed to pull Ash's arm out of the fissure, they entered the passageway, the slab sliding back into place behind them. It was not very dark in the tunnel, light streamed down in thin shafts from cracks in the low ceiling above them. It wasn't very long, either, they only needed to take a few steps forward to reach a spiral staircase which wound down deeper into the rock. "This way," Tracey said, starting down the stairs. They followed him.

After a few minutes of winding their way down the stairs, they came out into a large brightly-lit cavern with a high ceiling and enough furnishings to show that it was very much lived-in. Makeshift chandeliers and lamps hung from the ceiling, both candles and electric bulbs burning in their holders. Ancient maps of unfamiliar lands and beautifully elaborate paintings of religious scenes or battlefields hung from the walls. Placed haphazardly around the room and leaning against several walls were dozens and dozens of worn wooden bookcases with glass fronts to protect the thousands of old and weathered books crammed cover-to-cover in their shelves. More books were scattered all over the place; stacked in heaps on the ground, lying opened on the half-dozen tables of varying design standing here and there about the room, and dangling from ropes attached to the ceiling for no apparent reason. Sunlight shone through a very jagged gap in the back wall which Ash thought looked very odd until he noticed that it looked like a set of teeth and realized that they must be inside the formation on the cliff face which Tracey had said looked like a Sharpedo. Some rather gaudy curtains were hung over the shark-toothed gap, billowing inwards thanks to the sea breeze flowing into the chamber from the water below. The musty scent of old books and saltwater mixed together in a pleasant aroma that soothed the duo's nostrils and helped them forget the stench of Treasure Town a little more.

"Wow," said an amazed Ash. "Did you make all this by yourselves?"

"Is this all yours?" Pikachu asked, picking up a random book lying on the ground and flipping through it.

Tracey chuckled as he hung his satchel on the back of a three-legged chair leaning against the wall. "Actually, all this was here when we found this place. It turns out that this was the secret refuge of a very wise scholar who left Treasure Town when he was young to gain an education and returned to try and teach the townspeople after traveling all over the world and learning many things. He left all his books and things here since he knew that if he kept them in town someone would try to steal or destroy them. The Professor and I found this place by sheer chance after following a clue we'd read about in a very old book about Treasure Town that we brought with us from the University and managed to salvage from the fire, exactly like the old scholar left it."

"What happened to the scholar?" Ash asked, running a paw along the side of one of the bookcases, admiring its texture and the way it felt against his skin.

"He got beheaded a few centuries ago for trying to tell one of the town's biggest gangsters that two plus two _wasn't_ five," Tracey said offhandedly. Ash and Pikachu grimaced. "Anyway, before his death, the scholar managed to collect the books you see here from all over the world. Many of these manuscripts are incredibly rare and unbelievably valuable, unavailable anywhere else on Earth! In fact, there are even some which appear to predate the great global cataclysm, offering us a rare glimpse of what life in the age of humans was like before the disaster wiped them out!"

"No way!" cried an amazed Pikachu.

"Did he happen to have a copy of _Secrets of an Aura Master?_" Ash asked out of curiosity, wondering if the nameless scholar might have put another version of Ash's most prized possession somewhere in this library.

Tracey frowned. "Unfortunately, no. That's one of the few books he was never able to collect. A shame too, because anyone with a book as valuable as that one in his collection would be both worshipped and envied by bibliophiles and scholars all over the world!"

"I have a copy," Ash said, pulling the ancient tome from his knapsack.

Tracey's jaw dropped. "What the…Holy Mother/Daughter/Wife of Arceus, where'd you get that thing?!"

"My fighting sensei, who got it from the last living Aura Guardian," Ash said. "Well, not counting me, that is."

"Let me see that!" Tracey snatched the book from Ash, opened the cover, and found to his dismay that all the pages were blank. "Huh? There's nothing here! Is it a fake or…" His eyes widened in realization. "Oh, I get it, it must be some sort of metaphor symbolizing that the secret to becoming a true master lies within, and cannot be found in any tome."

"Actually, it's just invisible ink that only Aura-users can see," Ash interrupted.

"Oh." Somewhat disappointed, Tracey handed the book back to its owner.

Pikachu shook his head in bemusement. "Can we see one of the books which predated the cataclysm and has information about the ancient humans?" he asked. Ash's ears perked up at this. He found himself interested in seeing if the humans of this world had been very much different from his own. Not that he remembered much of his world, but…

"Sure! Hold on a sec." Tracey walked over to one of the bookshelves, pulled open the glass door covering the texts, and searched the various spines of the many tomes squeezed cover-to-cover against each other for a moment. "Now let's see…where is that…aha!" He pulled one fat, worn book that looked like it was bound with plastic rather than paper or whatever it was books were bound with (Ash didn't really know much on the subject) and carried it over to them. It was almost too big for him to lift. He set it down on a table, opened the cover, and flipped through the pages. Ash caught glimpses of big, full-page pictures in faded colors and very large words in a text which looked similar to the Unown-based script most Pokemon wrote in these days but _different_ somehow until Tracey stopped on a page depicting a bunch of creatures that both Rescue Team members recognized as humans (Pikachu from historical paintings, and Ash from his faint memories) seated in a strange metal object with four wheels, laughing as they sped down a road towards a city in the distance. "Check it out!"

"What _is_ that?" asked a puzzled Pikachu.

"It's a car," Ash said at once, catching a faint whiff of memory—a spiky-haired young man whose very face caused an instinctive wave of bile to rise in his throat, with a number of attractive and utterly empty-headed human females in the back—which was gone before he could get any more answers about his past.

"Oh, you've studied history too?" asked a surprised Tracey.

"Er, not exactly…" Ash said as he sheepishly rubbed the back of his head, not sure how to explain his former humanity to their new Smeargle friend.

Tracey shrugged, not caring enough to pry further. "Anyway, you're absolutely right, this is a machine called a 'car.' It's a four-wheeled conveyance, like a wagon, but rather than being pulled by a large Pokemon or moving along a designated magnetized track or hovering like some of the contraptions in the more advanced cities and hospitals, it was powered by a primitive combustion engine which produced exhaust that damaged the environment. At a point in time before Pokemon usage became more prevalent, humans used to travel all over the countryside in these, tearing up the landscape to put down roads the 'cars' could travel on, since they weren't suited for any terrain rougher than a flat plane. Eventually people started walking more or traveling under Pokemon power, but some humans stubbornly continued to use cars to get around, even if they only needed to go somewhere a few dozen meters away!"

"That's incredibly wasteful," said the alarmed Pikachu. "Why would they do something like that rather than just walking or using Pokemon power?"

Tracey smirked. "Research shows that a great deal of humans were either lazy or didn't completely trust their Pokemon, believing that their strength could falter at a moment's notice and lead them to suffer a gruesome end."

"Not _all_ humans were like that," Ash said quickly, feeling he had to defend the honor of his former species…even if he wasn't sure himself that his statement was accurate.

"No, they weren't," Tracey agreed. "Humans were as varied and multifaceted in opinion and personality as we Pokemon are." He sighed unhappily and closed the book. "But there's so much we still don't know about them! The cataclysm destroyed most of the records of how the world was before humans were wiped out, so all we have left of the species which once shared the Earth with us are the very few books like this one which survived the catastrophe, the remnants of their technology we've used to build our own civilization, and the muddled and contradictory stories told to us by our ancestors, which have changed so much in each retelling that it's nearly impossible to tell truth from fiction anymore. It's so incredibly frustrating for people like the Professor and myself, who constantly search for information about our past so we can understand more about the world of the present and what our future might hold for us!"

"Me too…" Ash murmured to himself, realizing he had the same hunger for information too. There was so much he didn't understand about himself and the world he must have come from. He just knew that if he could remember more about who he used to be, he could understand his purpose in his new home a lot better.

"Speaking of the Professor, where is he?" Pikachu glanced, asking about. "I don't see him anywhere…"

Ash frowned, sniffing the air. "Yeah, and his scent…at least I assume it's his scent, since the other one filling this place must be yours…isn't exactly fresh. " He paused and scanned the room with Aura-sight. "And I can't detect any living things other than the three of us and some Wingull outside. Shouldn't he be here?"

Tracey frowned at this. "He _should_ be…hold on just a second, I'll go check around. And don't touch anything, a lot of this stuff is _very _fragile and could fall apart if you so much as breathe on it." Ash, who had been examining an extremely old anatomical sketch of an unfamiliar Pokemon, backed away with a guilty look on his face. "I'll be right back." Tracey left the room through one of the smaller tunnels lining the walls of the ancient library.

Ash, ignoring their host's instructions, promptly opened the book Tracey had left behind and started flipping through it. "Ash, Tracey said not to touch anything!" Pikachu hissed, horrific memories of Ash's first time at the Pokemon Square museum coming back to haunt him.

"Tracey already touched it, and it's fine, so my looking at it won't hurt it," Ash retorted without tearing his eyes off the pages, scanning the images of happy smiling humans for anything which might trigger another one of his memories and give him another clue to his past. He froze when he came to a picture taking up two full pages of an enormous gray football-shaped object with a much smaller cabin hanging on the underside and a pair of turbine engines on either side.

In a flash, he saw himself riding from one island to another in a vehicle just like the one in the book alongside his friends. He was looking out the window at the water passing below and dozens of islands off in the distance, which meant he must have been in some sort of archipelago. One of his friends, whose name he could not quite remember—and yet somehow, he _did,_ and knew it was one of his most important friends of all—said something from the seat next to him. He turned around to look at her and…

The memory ended. Ash frowned in disappointment. He had hoped for a little more. Pikachu climbed up onto a chair and took a look at the picture Ash was examining so intensely. "Hey, that's a blimp. They had those in your world, too?"

"I think so." Ash blinked. "Hey, how do you know what it is?"

"Unlike those 'car' things, blimps and other airships are vehicles Pokemon have been using for centuries to get around in. I guess because we actually used them instead of those cars, we still remember what they are, or something," Pikachu explained. "There are lots of Pokemon who yearn to fly but don't have any wings to do so, so either buy or build or get a job on flying machines like that one so they can experience the thrill of the skies for themselves, and without having to ride on a sometimes uncooperative flying Pokemon's back. Smaller airships are usually used by adventurers who want to travel all over the world or belong to wealthy people who like to show them off, while the bigger ones are for aerial transport of tourists or supplies in some of the more advanced and less barbarian-infested regions. We actually used to get visits from tourists or traders in airships back in Pokemon Square all the time," Pikachu explained.

Ash frowned. "Wait, traders? In airships? Who fly around selling things to people? Why haven't we been getting supplies from one of them, then, instead of sending a team to this INCREDIBLY dangerous place to get killed and captured by Nihilators?!"

Pikachu scowled, his ears lying flat against his skull. "I said we _used_ to get visits. Ever since the Fearow warlord Redwing united the various bird flocks of Kanjohenn, the skies haven't been safe for airships. They swarm up and attack any flying vessel that enters their domain, which Redwing claims to be all the sky above the continent. He even ordered a town that had been constructing an airship factory completely destroyed so that nobody could challenge his air supremacy."

"What a jerk," Ash growled, his hackles rising. He had never been fond of Fearow. He wasn't sure why, he just had an irrational dislike of them. He suspected it was yet another thing from his past he had yet to completely remember.

Ash's musing on his hatred for the brown-feathered Flying Pokemon was interrupted when Tracey, an alarmed look on his face, rushed into the room. "Guys, guys! Professor Oak is gone!"

Ash and Pikachu turned to him at once. "Kidnapped?!" Pikachu asked, reaching for his sword.

Tracey shook his head. "No…worse! He went off on his own! Look at this!" He thrust a crumpled note into Ash's hands.

Ash read it out loud. "'Dear Tracey, I think I'm on the verge of a breakthrough. I've run down to the Door to see if my theory is correct. If it is, then we might be involved in something even bigger than we already thought we were. Be back soon. Signed, Professor Samuel Oak. P.S. You remembered to get the milk, right?'" Ash looked up. "Did you?"

"Huh?" Tracey asked, taken by surprise by the question.

"Get the milk," Ash explained. Pikachu facefaulted.

Tracey smacked his forehead. "Of course I got…look, that's not the point! The Professor's gone into the incredibly dark and dangerous catacombs beneath Treasure Town, all by himself, and is heading for the incredibly evil and mysterious door which is constantly being watched by the Nihilators! He's going to get himself caught!"

This horrific realization spurred Ash and Pikachu into action. "We have to go rescue him," Pikachu said decisively. "Before it's too late!"

Ash sniffed the air. "The Professor's scent is only a few hours old…those catacombs are big enough so that even if you know your way around them, it'll take a while to get to someplace as far down as the door, right? So we should still be able to find him!"

Tracey nodded anxiously. "Yes, but it'll take us even longer to catch up to him, and by then something terrible might have happened! We have to hurry!" He yanked his satchel off its chair, knocking the broken piece of furniture over, and ran up the stairs. "Come on! Let's go!"

Ash sighed. "Once more into the breech, I suppose. And we just got here, too…"

Pikachu nodded in agreement. "Oh well. You know what they say…a Rescue Team's work is never done. There's always someone else who will need our help."

"Tell me about it," Ash grumbled as they ran after Tracey. "But there are times when a guy has to wonder if people can't just save _themselves_ now and then, you know?"

"If that happened, we'd be out of a job," Pikachu reminded his brother. "And then where would we be?"

"At home, having some of Mom's cooking?" Ash said wistfully. Pikachu frowned at him. "What? I'm hungry! I haven't had anything to eat for a while!"

Pikachu rolled his eyes. "Are you sure you're not a Snorlax in a Lucario suit?"

"How would I fit into one, if I were?" Ash retorted.

"Are you two going to argue all day or help me save the Professor?!" Tracey yelled down at them.

"Sorry," Ash and Pikachu apologized simultaneously.

"Just some fraternal bickering. Don't mind it one wit," Pikachu called up to Tracey.

The Smeargle shook his head in exasperation. "How did these guys save my life again?"

…

Ash and Pikachu were no strangers to dark and dangerous places deep beneath the earth. As Rescue Team members, they had navigated dozens of dangerous caverns and labyrinths chock-filled with traps, environmental hazards, and grouchy wild Pokemon dogging their path every step of the way. No matter how rough things got, no matter how long the dungeon or how packed the hotspots known as 'monster house' were, they had persevered through a combination of their fighting skills, item usage, and a judicious amount of luck. That was how they had managed to save the world, reach the Diamond Rank, and even conquer the treacherous (and oddly named) Joyous Tower, with its 99 levels of pain and suffering.

However, even with all their experience, they were not quite prepared for what awaited them in the catacombs underneath Treasure Town. The darkness just outside of the small sphere of light formed by Tracey's high-power electric lantern (he had taken it out instead of his flashlight, saying they'd need the more illumination the better where they were going) seemed almost _alive_ the deeper they got into the ancient ruins, and malevolent. They could hear and smell enormous things moving just outside the range of their light, leaving trails of slime or frighteningly large footprints in their wake. Ash had tried to examine some of them once using his Aura-sight and was so frightened by what he saw that he refused to use it again until he was sure there was nothing living anywhere around them. When an uneasy Pikachu asked his partner what he saw, Ash mumbled something about Muk big enough to clog up the entire corridor with tentacles and withered skeletons of former victims draping from their amorphous forms, Politoed and Croagunk that had become grotesque emaciated almost _human_ figures with twisted horns and jagged tusks, and white eyeless Feraligatr enormous enough to be mistaken for dragons and said no more.

"The Professor theorized that the monsters down here used to be regular Pokemon that, for whatever reason, chose to live underground rather than on the surface," Tracey explained. "Or were perhaps trapped here by some sort of cave-in or earthquake or other accident. And, over time, the dark and inhospitable conditions down here caused them to evolve into the forms you see--or rather, _don't_ see—now. Fortunately, they've adapted to hunt in total darkness, so artificial lights like ours keep them at bay. As long as the batteries don't run out, that is." As if on cue, the lantern flickered, and for a heart-stopping moment it looked as if the light was going to go out. Thankfully, it came back on as strong as ever in just a second, and after Tracey pried the terrified Ash and Pikachu off his form they continued onwards.

There was another reason Ash wasn't using his Aura-sight much the further they got into the catacombs. Simply put, there wasn't really anything he could see. Literally. The evil miasma that was everywhere in Treasure Town and undernath it was getting thicker and thicker the deeper they went in the ancient tunnels. It was becoming so thick, in fact, that it was starting to occlude Ash's Aura-sight, so he was unable to see much of anything outside their little bubble of light no matter which pair of eyes he was using. He hadn't mentioned it to his friends because they had _enough_ to worry about already, what with the missing Professor and the possibility of running into the Nihilators and the very scary monsters waiting in the shadows to devour them should their lantern's light flicker and die for good. With the miasma blocking Ash's second sight, they wouldn't even be able to see the beasts coming.

Trying to stave off such grim thoughts, Ash examined their surroundings, or what little of them he could make out in the light from Tracey's lantern. He wasn't much of an architect, but it was obvious even to him that the style and structure of the crumbled buildings and walls around them and the kinds of faded designs painted and engraved here and there differed from level to level of the catacombs. Each time they walked down a spiral staircase, climbed down a ladder, or jumped into a deep shaft, it seemed as if they found themselves in a whole other subterranean world entirely. "Hey Tracey, why's everything here look so different?"

"You mean why the architectural style and makeup of our surroundings changes from level to level?" Tracey replied, perking up at the possibility of a less grim topic. "Well, as I told you before, Treasure Town is built on top of countless ancient cities and prior places of habitation which were all either abandoned or destroyed with new towns being built on top of them. As a result, the remnants of the older cities were pushed underground and stratified so that each set of ruins is like a separate geological layer unto itself. Moving from one layer to another is almost like traveling through time! It would be utterly fascinating and a boon to archaeologists the world over in learning more about ancient civilizations if it weren't for the fact that all of this marvelous history is infested by horrible Pokemon-eating monsters. And being used for nefarious means by an evil organization."

"Yeah, definitely," Ash agreed.

Pikachu frowned in thought. "Just how many old cities _are_ there down here, Tracey?"

"Well, if each layer of the catacombs is a ruin from another city or town, and there are about…fifty levels-" Tracey estimated.

"That many?!" cried an astonished Ash. "We're only on the fifteenth or twentieth floor by now! We've got that much further to go?!"

"Ash, we've been in longer dungeons," Pikachu pointed out.

"Yeah, but…none like this," Ash said with a shudder. Pikachu and Tracey grimaced in agreement, suppressing their own shivers.

"Anyway, that makes approximately fifty cities, all stacked on top of each other like a great big layer cake. Or geological strata," Tracey continued.

Pikachu frowned. "That many…Tracey, you said that all the cities here were eventually destroyed or abandoned, right? And eventually built over? What exactly could have caused so many people to leave this place—or _die­_—yet eventually come back to start over again so many times?"

"The door," Ash guessed.

Tracey nodded. "Like I said before, the Professor theorized that the more recent towns were built by people looking for the treasure…while the oldest ones were built to _protect_ it. But whether they were trying to guard the treasure or find it, eventually everyone who lived close to it was consumed by it."

Ash had a sudden chilling thought. "Then…the monsters down here. Could they be…"

Tracey nodded in agreement. "What's left of the people who once lived in these towns, twisted and corrupted by the treasure's power? That's another theory of the Professor's. And considering what you've told me about the weird miasma that's everywhere in town, _twisting_ people into something evil and dark, I think it might be the correct one." A thought occurred to him. "By the way, is there a lot down here? More than on the surface or upper levels?"

Ash fidgeted. "Um…yeah. A lot. So much I can't even use Aura-sight since it covers everything in range."

Pikachu and Tracey gave the Lucario alarmed looks. "And you didn't tell us this earlier because…" Pikachu questioned.

"I didn't want you guys to worry anymore than you already were," Ash said apologetically. "I mean, with all the other problems we have down here, do we really need anymore?"

"Ah, I forgot to mention the booby traps," Tracey said, snapping his fingers as a lightbulb went off in his head.

Ash and Pikachu gave Tracey uneasy looks. "Booby traps?" Ash asked. "You never mentioned any booby traps!"

"I forgot," Tracey said sheepishly. "It's like this. After we realized we were being hunted by the Nihilators and managed to find a safe hiding place on Sharpedo Cape, the Professor insisted we come down here to take closer looks at the door, collect samples of the substances and artifacts on the lowest levels for dating and analysis, transcribe or photograph the ancient hieroglyphs for later translation; you know, typical archaeological stuff. Well, except for the problem of the door being watched and guarded over by the Nihilators at all times. I was against the idea, naturally, but the Professor managed to convince me the rewards would be worth the risks, and we started taking occasional treks down to the door, doing our best to avoid notice and not get caught by the guards we sometimes saw in the lowest levels. Despite our best efforts to leave no trace of our intrusion behind, they somehow got wise to what we were doing and started posting more guards, stringing up lights in the darkest tunnels to make it harder for us to hide or sneak around, and setting up booby traps to catch wandering monsters or interlopers like us. Despite a few close calls, we've still been able to make it to the door and back several times to gather data, but each time we slip past them has only made the Nihilators more zealous in guarding the thing. We barely made it out alive the last time we went down to see it." He sighed unhappily. "That's why I'm so worried about the Professor going down there all by himself! He still thinks of himself as a bit of an adventurous field researcher from time to time, but he's not as young as he used to be, and without a second set of eyes to watch his back, who knows what could happen to him?"

"Don't worry," Pikachu assured Tracey. "We're veteran explorers and rescuers. We'll do our best to get the Professor and ourselves out in one piece."

"And I just might have a little something to deal with any traps we might encounter," said Ash with a smirk, patting his knapsack.

Forewarned about some of the more mundane and Pokemon-made dangers of the catacombs, the trio resumed their trek into the depths. Now that they knew of the existence of traps that might bar their path, Ash began to make judicious use of a handy little device he had picked up from the Kecleon Bros. before they had left Pokemon Square; an object known as the Golden See-Trap Orb. As the name implied, it allowed its wielder to see all traps on a floor of a particular dungeon. However, while most Orbs were one-use items, the Golden See-Trap Orb was special in that it could be used an indefinite number of times without losing its power. Naturally, this had made it an _extremely_ expensive item, and Ash had been forced to shell out quite a few Poke' for the shiny sphere, but it was definitely worth it, since it allowed them to see all the hidden traps the Nihilators or any other denizen of the deep had planted in the various tunnels and passageways they traveled so that they could detour around them. Ash also had a few Trapburst Orbs that were capable of destroying every trap on a floor, but they had decided not to use those if they could help it, since those valuable spheres were a limited commodity, unlike the Golden See-Trap Orb. It was for the same reason they didn't use any of Pikachu's Luminous Orbs to light up the whole floor, for while they would certainly appreciate the light, they had too few Orbs and too many floors to traverse to waste the objects.

Radar Orbs, on the other hand, they had no problem with using, especially once they got to the fortieth floor and found that the whole place was lit up by glowing bulbs and cables hanging from the ceiling. "They've set up more lights," said the worried Tracey. "Before, everything until the forty-fourth floor was totally dark."

"Does that mean there might be Nihilators on this floor?" Pikachu asked, glancing about for unseen enemies.

Tracey nodded. "Probably. They only stick to the lighted areas, which makes sense, since the monsters would devour them if they tried hiding in the darkest parts of this place. That probably means there's more traps here too, so we'll have to be even more careful."

"My Orb will let us know if we get near any traps," Ash said, gesturing with the golden ball in his hand. "But since the miasma down here is so thick that I can't use my Aura-sight to detect any enemies, we'll need to find another way to tell where they are."

Pikachu nodded in agreement. "We don't want to get into a fight if we can avoid it, considering how many goons and other things there might be in this place."

"Especially because we might have to come down here again, and it'll probably be harder the next time if they find out we were here," Tracey pointed out.

"Then it's a good thing I brought along plenty of these," Pikachu said, pulling a Radar Orb out of his bag. "These will tell us the position of every enemy on the floor so we can try to work our way around them. We might not always be able to avoid a fight, but using these we can try and take out any guards we might encounter without alerting the rest to our presence."

"Cool," said an impressed Tracey. Then he started to fret again. "Professor Oak didn't have any of this stuff…ohhhh, we're probably already too late!"

"Don't worry, we'll probably get to the final floor and find him safe and sound, a little afraid but completely unmolested by all of the ridiculously powerful enemies in this dungeon," Ash said reassuringly.

Tracey blinked. "You think?"

Pikachu nodded. "Yeah, that's how we find about half the Pokemon we rescue…how they got down that far without getting killed, we'll never know."

"Well, some _did_ get killed," Ash corrected Pikachu. "The ones that were either never able to send a Rescue request or weren't saved in time."

"True," Pikachu conceded. "Their corpses were mangled something awful by the time anyone finally found them." Tracey began to sweat in anxiety.

They continued on their way. The Radar Orbs, while one-use items, were very invaluable tools and helped them navigate their way through the next several floors unmolested. The Orb, which displayed a map of whatever level it was activated on, showed them where the guards were located and what their patrol routes were. Using that in conjunction with Ash's Golden See-Trap Orb and Tracey's knowledge of secret routes and passageways acquired through frequent treks through the catacombs, they were able to slip by the Nihilators without getting spotted by them, activating a trap, _or_ getting recorded by the concealed security cameras positioned here and there.

"I feel like some stupid secret agent," Ash complained as they descended a set of stairs leading to the next floor down. "I know it's important to be stealthy, but I'm not the kind of guy who likes to run away from a fight."

"Think of it less as running away and more like preventing a fight from starting in the first place," Pikachu suggested. Ash grunted, but reluctantly went along with it. Tracey said nothing since he was too busy worrying about the Professor.

They continued on their way. The number of guards seemed to increase exponentially with each floor they passed. It became more difficult to avoid them without having to pass through heavily booby-trapped hallways, and just because Ash could see the traps didn't mean they'd be able to keep from triggering them. Still, they managed to persevere and keep on going…

Until they came to the stairway on the forty-ninth floor which led to the final level and found it was completely surrounded by six Magneton with eyes pointed in every direction and a number of very tough-looking Rhydon, Magmar, and other burly types just down the hallway in either direction, so that they could be at the stairwell in moments if the Magneton spotted someone trying to get by them and sounded the alarm. "What do we do?!" Tracey whispered anxiously as they peered out at the rather impassable situation from the cranny they were hiding in.

"Fight?" Ash asked half-hopefully.

"Tracey, I don't suppose there's any other way down?" Pikachu asked.

Tracey shook his head. "There are, but according to your Radar Orb those are all just as heavily guarded as this one. It doesn't look like we can go any further without getting into a fight…but in these close quarters, and with guys as big and strong as the ones they've got guarding this place, I don't know if we can win!"

"We can handle it," Ash said confidently.

"We might not have to," Pikachu said, rummaging in his knapsack and pulling out a clear, almost invisible Orb.

Ash frowned in alarm. "An Invisify Orb? You want to waste one of those just to get past these guys?"

"I have more," Pikachu responded.

"Yeah, but we've already used up so many Orbs and other things just getting through this place. We don't have many left," Ash pointed out.

"We can always buy some more," Pikachu reasoned. "The Kecleon Bros. said they had branches here in Sinnorre too. Our credit should be in good at those stores as it is at home."

"That's true," Ash admitted reluctantly. He sighed. "Okay, if you really think we have to, go ahead and use it."

Pikachu nodded. "We'll all need to touch it, though. Otherwise it won't work on all of us."

"What does it do?" Tracey asked as he and Ash placed their palms on the surface of the sphere.

"You'll see," Pikachu said with an enigmatic grin. "Or rather, you _won't._" The Orb pulsed once…

And then the three of them disappeared. At least, that's what it looked like they did.

"Ack! Where'd you all go?!" cried a terrified Tracey from…thin air?

"Relax, we're just invisible," Ash's voice said, also from thin air.

"The Invisify Orb bent light around us so that nobody can see us, making us completely invisible," Pikachu explained. And yes, it sounded like he was speaking from thin air, too.

"Oh," said Tracey. He frowned. At least, they thought he did, they couldn't see him. "Wait, then how can we see anything if light is being bent AWAY from our eyes?"

There was a long pause. "That's not important," an uncertain Pikachu said after a moment. "What is is that we can use our temporary state of invisibility to walk past the guards and down the stairs without being caught. We'll have to be quiet, though, and try not to bump into them; we're invisible, not inaudible or intangible."

And that's exactly what they did. They had a rather rough start, though, due to Ash and Tracey tripping over their own feet every few seconds since they couldn't see what their bodies were doing due to their invisibility. This normally wouldn't have been a problem for Ash due to his Aura-sight, but his second sight was blind at the moment due to all the evil invisible fog so he had to use his regular eyes like everyone else. Both the jackal and the beagle/monkey-thing cursed Pikachu under their breaths for being able to walk perfectly fine on four legs without falling over.

Once they silently passed underneath the Magneton, they carefully headed down the stairs…and by carefully I mean they fell down because Ash tripped over Pikachu, whom he couldn't see, knocking over the invisible Tracey in the process, and ended up pushing all three of them down the spiral stairwell, where they cursed and screamed and shouted as they painfully rolled all the way to the bottom, feeling every one of the five thousand steps painfully as their dull, hard edges dug into their backs and faces.

The Magneton blinked in surprise and glanced around, but saw nothing that could have caused such a disturbance. One of them floated downstairs to check the lower landing, and found nothing amiss there either, at least nothing that it could see. They reported the incident anyway, as was protocol, but privately thought that it was probably just the cave walls making noise. They screamed and howled like the damned sometimes. You got used to it after a while.

…

After the trio, covered in aches and scrapes and bruises and no longer invisible, woke up (having passed out due to falling down a rather long set of stairs and rolling into a wall on the bottom), throttled Ash, used some Potions to heal themselves, and swore never to use an Invisify Orb ever again, they took in their surroundings. "Wow," said an amazed Ash.

The ruins on the floors above them had been as variegated in architectural style and motif as they were in stages of decay. However, from what little Ash had seen (since he was focusing most of his attention on not getting eaten by monsters, triggering booby traps, or alerting guards to their presence) he had noticed a few trends in the ancient buried cities as they had delved deeper into the layered history they made up. The newest ruins, closest to the surface, had looked somewhat like the Treasure Town he and Pikachu already knew, and had become more archaic and primitive over time the further down they went, brick and plaster masonry degenerating into carved stone blocks, then random rocks piled on top of each other, then clusters of logs and sticks and dirt, and the like. However, after that point (roughly halfway down, he recalled) the ruins had gradually started to become more complex, intricate, and advanced, despite the fact that each was older than the one above it. Buildings, columns, structures, and statues of increasing skill and craftsmanship had appeared the deeper they went, and while not all the subjects of the broken artwork they saw lying about here and there--some of it defaced by the Nihilators—looked familiar or even entirely like Pokemon to the trio, there was still a strange sense of quality and beauty to it, as if the builders had constructed these cities with love and care, unlike the much newer structures on the higher levels. How woeful those architects would have been to see what remained of their works, crumbling deep beneath the lightless earth, lair to all sorts of beastly abominations and a place of interest for an organization dedicated to ruling the world, with no regard for how much magnificence and wonder they destroyed along the way to make things more convenient for them. How beautiful those ancient cities must have been in the sunlight, and how tragic it was that they were imprisoned and broken where none could see them or hear the ancient stories haunting their walls and passageways.

However, the scale and marvel of the dead cities they had passed through on their way to this bottommost level were nothing compared to the grandeur which lay stretched out before the trio, illuminated for the first time in countless eons by harsh light shining down from the large bulbs and lanterns set on rooftops and hanging from the ceiling. The buildings, while clearly in ruins, were in surprisingly good condition compared to most of the old towns above, designed using a form of architectural geometry and artistic style utterly alien to the trio but still magnificent to gaze upon, towering structures and pillars and statues made of some strange substance that looked to be part stone, part metal, and part crystal, glowing with an inner luminance that had nothing to do with the light provided by the more recent machines the Nihilators had installed. Glowing runes in an unknown and long-dead language shone on walls and frescoes and actually seemed to be floating in mid-air in some places, like ancient ancestors of the Unown. A serene stillness hung about the cavern, a kind of peace totally at odds to the miasma which was crawling over every square inch of this place, according to Ash's Aura-sight, which was so clouded by the evil fog that all he could see was what everyone else in the world did when they closed their eyes.

"What IS this place?!" cried an astonished Ash, taking in the buildings and homes far, FAR too large for all but the biggest of Pokemon to live in, and even then they'd still have lots of extra space for their friends, neighbors, and relatives. "Who lived here? Aliens?! Giants?!"

"Or maybe angels…" Pikachu mused, looking at an enormous and breathtaking sculpture of a pair of feathery-winged serpents more beautiful than the world's most gorgeous Milotic entwined in a dance of love and joy.

"Or possibly both," Tracey pointed out. "There's no reason to think they have to be mutually exclusive. It's a big Omniverse, after all."

"So this is the final level?" Ash asked, reluctantly tearing his eyes away from the gorgeous (and slightly worn and crumbled) ruins to look at their guide.

Tracey nodded. "And the door's here too, right in the middle of the place. As if this whole city was built around it…well, it probably was, come to think of it." He glanced around. "For some reason, despite this being the last and most important level, the Professor and I have never seen many guards or encountered any booby traps whenever we snuck down here. There's tons of them on the upper levels, but relatively few down here. Admittedly, they've always been the nastiest-looking of the lot, but still not too many of them. We've never figured out why…"

Ash's skin crawled briefly, and he shuddered, thinking of the invisible mist around them. "Maybe something is scaring them away…or consuming them."

"That's a lovely thought," Pikachu said drily.

"Since we haven't run into the Professor by now, that means he must have either somehow managed to make it all the way down through fifty levels of darkness, monsters, traps, and Nihilators without getting caught and will be waiting for us near the door…or he was killed before we got here and his body has been swallowed by the shadows. And the things that lurk in them," Tracey said morbidly.

"That's an even lovelier thought," Ash said.

After using another Radar Orb to scan the floor for enemies (and finding that there were, indeed, a surprisingly small amount of them, and not even patrolling at that) and no traps other than security cameras placed here and there (also surprisingly few), they headed off into the ruins of the monolithic ancient city, weaving their way along very smooth streets as wide as rivers floored with jewel-inlaid tiles, climbing down stairs the sizes of small cliffs, and navigating around the tremendous statues and buildings placed all about in patterns which made little sense to the trio but no doubt had held a deeper meaning for the architects who had designed this place as they traveled towards the very center of the cavern. As they went deeper into the city, Ash noted that the enormous buildings started clustering together more, so there were no gaps between them save for the streets the trio were currently walking on, and the mysterious material used to construct the buildings got thicker and thicker, turning each structure into a veritable fortress. There were also grooves in the ground with matching notches in the walls of the buildings on either side of the street placed at periodic points across the avenues. Examining one of the notches in the wall, Ash saw there was a metal barrier of some sort recessed in it. He instantly realized that it must be a kind of defensive measure, used to block off portions of the city in case of invasion or riots or other kinds of disasters. Considering that the city was currently abandoned and lying in ruins deep beneath the ground, with portions of the beautiful building facades and broken statue fragments littering the streets, those measures clearly hadn't saved the people who had lived here from their ultimate fate.

Finally, they reached the center of the ancient city, a plaza much like the one at the center of Pokemon Square…except the plaza itself was at least half as big as Ash and Pikachu's hometown and surrounded on all sides by ancient spires towering hundreds of feet in the air above them, their upper halves broken off long ago but still managing to look quite majestic in spite of their advanced state of destruction. Ten story-high statues of valiant armored figures with wings, some of them looking somewhat familiar to the trio and others appearing so bizarre that it was all but impossible to tell head from tail, stood at the outer edge of the plaza, all of them facing inward with weapons pointed at the object standing in the very center, the thing this entire city had been built around.

The door.

It stood there, a towering double gate so tall it all but scraped the ceiling, made of a red and black metal even more alien than the material used to build the city and looking completely at odds with its surroundings. While the rest of the ruins possessed a strange form of ethereal and otherworldy beauty, the doorway, with its harsh angles and spikes and blood-red runes and carvings of unspeakably gruesome figures covering its surface and twisted frame, and the way it seemed to absorb the light around it, was clearly constructed by much crueler entities, with a darker purpose for it in mind. That purpose did not seem apparent at first, since the door was standing in the middle of the plaza with no building or wall behind it or any indication that it _went_ anywhere, but from the armed statues pointing their weapons--some broken, some not--at the gateway, and the way it was wrapped tightly in glowing chains that looked to be made of solid light rather than metal, it was clear that the makers of this city had intended for this door to remain closed for all time. It was just as clear, from the floodlights and broken power tools and heavy machinery and graffiti and other bits of detritus and garbage scattered about the plaza, obviously more newer than the rest of the ancient rubble lying here and there, that somebody else very badly wanted to see it opened, no matter what the cost.

The floor around the door was also clearly of a different make than the rest of the city, made of jet-black stones with arcane sigils set in a series of rings that encircled the sealed gateway and took up the center third of the plaza. At the outermost edge of these rings were six pedestals, each about ten feet tall, made of a translucent crystal which radiated a nearly divine light and had complex veins and traceries within them that almost looked like circuit patterns or neural networks more complex than any that human or Pokemon had ever conceived of. A strange indentation was set into the outward-facing sides of each of these pedestals, and the ends of the glowing chains wrapped around the door fed into the tops of the crystals, making it apparent that they were some kind of anchor or locking mechanism. Another crystalline lock was set on the gateway itself, right over the seam between the two door panels, with the other ends of the glowing chains fastened tightly to its sides. The broken tools lying haphazardly across the rings made it evident that the Nihilators had tried to break the chains or locks off, and thankfully for everyone had failed. For now, anyway.

"So," whispered Pikachu, his small voice sounding almost deafeningly loud in the silence that dominated the plaza. He was surprised to find that he could see his breath. 'This is the door."

"It definitely looks evil," Ash said quietly, his hair standing on end just from staring at it. On a whim, he gazed at it with Aura-sight…and gasped, his eyes flying open after only looking at the door for a split second, spots and weird colors dancing before his natural vision.

"What is it?!" cried the alarmed Tracey.

"Ash, are you all right?" Pikachu asked his brother in concern.

Ash shook his head, trying to clear the whorls and shapes and things that almost looked like laughing monstrosities from his vision. "I saw…light. And darkness. Those chains, the pillars, glow with the purest Aura I've ever seen. It was beautiful. But…the door…" He shuddered and hugged himself, feeling very cold all of a sudden. "Its Aura was like…an absence of light. An absolute darkness that swallows everything and leaves nothing behind. The miasma I've been seeing everywhere…it's not just being generated by the door, it _is_ the door! Or at least, an extension of its Aura…"

Pikachu and Tracey were startled by this. "Wait…then you're saying some part of the door's…Aura thingy…is all around us right now, and has been touching us ever since we entered these catacombs?" the alarmed Smeargle asked.

"And ever since we entered the town…" whispered a horrified Pikachu. Tracey whimpered and rubbed at his fur, feeling distinctly unclean.

"We cannot let this thing be opened…" Ash murmured to himself, shaking his head in denial. "It could mean the end of the world. The end of everything."

Pikachu nodded in agreement. "Then we'll gather those keys and defeat the Nihilators, so that they and anyone who comes after them will never be able to use them for evil purposes again."

"And there's someone who can help us do that!" Tracey cried joyfully, pointing past the door to the far end of the plaza. "It's Professor Oak!"

Following Tracey's finger, Ash and Pikachu looked towards an immense cracked wall at the back of the plaza that was either an unimaginably intricate colored mosaic or several lines of text written in enormous unfamiliar letters, or possibly both. Large stylized Ns had been painted over parts of the mosaic, crude attempts by the Nihilators to deface it, but whatever pigment or stone was used to make up the artwork still shone through from under the messy paint smeared across its surface. Standing at the base of the wall, avidly taking pictures with a camera and jotting things down in a notebook, was an aging Slowking with the especially large mutant Shellder clamped to his head that was indicative of all the members of his species who possessed above-average intelligence. The aquatic psychic was so captivated by whatever he was doing that he hadn't noticed he was no longer alone in the plaza.

Tracey eagerly ran towards his mentor, followed close behind by Ash and Pikachu. "Professor Oak! Professor Oak!"

"Hmm?" The Slowking turned around. He blinked when he saw the three Pokemon running towards him. "Tracey?"

Tracey glomped the Professor, nearly knocking him over. "Oh, Professor Oak! Thank goodness you're all right! I was so worried!"

Oak gasped. "Ack! Tracey, watch the lumbago!" the Slowking wheezed.

"Oh. Sorry." Embarrassed, Tracey let go. Then he glared at the Professor angrily. "What did you think you were doing, going off all by yourself?! You could have gotten killed!"

"I suppose it was rather foolish of me to run off by myself," the learned Pokemon admitted. "But I was on the verge of a real breakthrough, and I had to come down here and find out for certain before I lost my inspiration. I didn't have time to wait for you." He smirked, raising his notebook into the air. "And I think I just might be on the brink of figuring everything out…" He paused, noticing Tracey's companions for the first time. "Hello, and who are these? Friends of yours?"

"Oh! I almost forgot!" Tracey cried. He stepped aside and gestured to Ash and Pikachu.

Professor, this is Team Aurabolt, a Rescue Team from Pokemon Square in Kanjohenn! They saved my life earlier, and I wouldn't have been able to find you if it weren't for their help!"

The Professor blinked in surprise. "Pokemon Square? Then you must be here about…"

Ash nodded soberly. "Misty and Gardevoir. They sent us a letter telling us they were in big trouble, and that you might be able to help us make sense of things. They also sent a magical map that they said led to the seven keys needed to open a big door underground…presumably that monster over there."

The Professor perked up at this. "Ah! So that's what happened to it…" He frowned. "But then that must mean the girls…"

"They're all right," Pikachu said. "As far as we know, anyway. In the hands of the Nihilators, but still alive."

"The who?" asked the confused Slowking.

"That's what the guys we've been hiding from are called," Tracey explained. "We found that out today, when they sort of…um, tried to kill me. But it turned out all right, and these guys saved my life!" the Smeargle said quickly, trying to reassure his startled mentor.

Oak frowned. "That must have been too close…none of them followed you back to our hideout, did they?"

"There weren't enough of them left alive for that to happen," Pikachu said.

"Not for lack of trying, though," Ash said. "Their ringleader used some kind of strange drug to turn one of his henchmen into a hulking monster with increased power and a weird black Aura. Called it the power of 'Shadow' or something."

Oak started at this. "D-did you say Shadow?!"

"You know about it?" asked a surprised Ash.

The Professor hesitated. "I…I might, yes. It sounds vaguely familiar." Ash frowned. He didn't need his Aura-sight to know that the Slowking was hiding something. However, before he could press him on it, Oak extended a hand to him. "I'm sorry, where are my manners? I forgot to get your name. I'm Professor Samuel Oak, of Pokemon University. And you are?"

"Ash of Pokemon Square, pleased to make your acquaintance," Ash said, grabbing the Professor's paw.

The instant their hands made contact, Ash started, for a second thinking that the old Pokemon was not a Slowking at all but an elderly gray-haired human in a lab coat, his face weathered by years of experience and smile lines. "Ash, are you ready to choose your first Pokemon?"

Ash staggered backwards. "Wh-what?"

The Professor was a Slowking again, blinking in confusion. "Is something the matter?"

"I…no. No, it's nothing," Ash insisted, trying to clear his head.

"He has amnesia," Pikachu explained to the puzzled researcher. "I found him near Tiny Woods back home with no memory of who he was or how he had gotten there, other than his name. Occasionally he sees something that jogs his memory and makes him remember something about who he used to be. You must remind him of someone he once knew."

"Really!" cried an amazed Oak. "That's fascinating! Hmm, perhaps I should have taken that course in Psychology after all…are you all right, young man?"

Ash nodded, waving him off. "Yeah, I'm fine now. Pikachu's right, you did remind me of someone I used to know. I think he was a scientist too."

Oak's brow creased in thought. "Is that so? Did you remember his name? I might know him…"

"No, sorry," Ash said apologetically, only half-lying. He wasn't sure now was the best time to explain that he was from another universe and that the person he just remembered was a human version of Oak that he had known from his world.

"Hmm…oh well, perhaps you'll figure it out later," the Professor said, shrugging it off. He turned to Pikachu. "And you are?"

"Pikachu Thunderblade, also of Pokemon Square," Pikachu said, shaking the Professor's paw.  
Oak's eyebrows raised in surprise. "Thunderblade? The famous family of Pikachu samurai? Goodness! Then does that mean the sword on your back is…"

"The sacred blade Thunder Fang? Most certainly," Pikachu said, drawing his sword and allowing the Professor to examine it. He couldn't help but feel a little smug that the old researcher knew about his family's history.

"Incredible…" whispered the awestruck Oak, the blue glow from Thunder Fang reflecting in his eyes and on the jewel of his Shellder crown. "You, my friend, are holding a piece of living history in your hands. Do you…do you suppose I could touch it?"

"I wouldn't recommend it," Pikachu said warningly, drawing the sword back. "It kind of has a habit of electrifying people who touch it that aren't part of my family line."

The Professor backed away hurriedly. "Er, yes, of course…that's right, the legends specified that, didn't they? I completely forgot…" He took a last longing look at the blade as Pikachu returned it to its scabbard. "Still, it truly is a remarkable weapon…fine craftsmanship…and how many swords do you see these days that crackle with a nimbus of holy lightning?"

"Not many," Tracey agreed. "So, Professor, did you get what you came here to find?"

Oak nodded and gestured to the elaborate mosaic on the wall behind them. "Yes, I haven't managed to completely decipher the language whoever built this city used, but after examining a few more carvings and pieces of art I found in a building which I _think_ might have been a museum, I believe I'm getting there. I should be able to translate the message on this big wall in just a few weeks' time; despite the damage those hooligans did to it with their vulgar spray cans. I also took fresh samples for carbon dating, and I believe I have figured out something very important about the keys to that door over there."

Ash and Pikachu's ears perked up at this. "The keys? What? Where they are?" Ash asked hopefully.

Oak shook his head. "Not exactly…I'll tell you when we get back to the surface." He frowned. "Although it'll be a bit tricky to do that with the four of us…I was able to get past the guards by using Amnesia on them to make them forget they'd ever seen me, but if I mindwipe them too many times they might build up a resistance to it, or worse, their superiors will realize what I'm doing and place guards with stronger brains backed up by Dark-types down here, which could pose problems for all of us the next time I need to come down here."

"Professor, you don't have to keep coming down here," Tracey protested. "It's much too dangerous! I've told you before; you'd be better off staying at Sharpedo Cape. I'm almost positive that the answers we're looking for can be found among the books filling the old scholar's library!"

Oak shook his head. "Some, perhaps, but not all of them, not the things we need to know most of all! This city predates all known civilizations on our planet, both human and Pokemon. I would be very much surprised if anyone had discovered it in more recent times other than the Nihilators and ourselves, much less the people who wrote the old books sitting on our shelves. Only by coming here can we learn the truth about all the old stories, and find out just what dangerous power is sealed behind that door. Knowing that might help us understand our enemy more, figure out what they're up to, and determine how to put a stop to them." He stretched, grunting as his old bones creaked a little. "But now is not the time for dissembling. We must return home…" He sighed. "Even if it will be harder getting back up than it was going down…"

"You don't need to worry about that," Pikachu assured the Professor.

Ash nodded, pulling an Escape Orb out of his knapsack. "Yeah, with this, we can teleport right to the surface in no time flat!"

Oak's spirits rose at that. "We can? Marvelous! I've heard of devices like that, how do they work?"

"I'm not actually sure," Ash admitted.

"We don't know the mechanics of it, but we do now how to turn it on," Pikachu said, putting a paw on the Orb. "We just need to touch it, close our eyes, and think of the place where we entered these catacombs."

"And we'll be transported there just like that?" Tracey asked. "Cool!"

"Yes, so long as it doesn't scramble our molecules and turn us into a hideous four-headed monster," the Professor agreed, fearlessly putting a hand on the Orb. Tracey sweatdropped. "But accidents like that only happen on sci-fi shows and when Psychics get drunk, I'm sure we have nothing to worry about!"

"Yeah…nothing…" Tracey muttered, his mind filled with gruesome images of how they could be violently killed by a teleportation error. Still, everyone was waiting for him, and he didn't relish the idea of climbing back to the surface by himself, so he sighed and touched the Orb, thinking of the pleasant enemy-free vista of Sharpedo Cape.

There was a flash of light, and the four Pokemon vanished, leaving the almost-empty ruins of an ancient civilization behind. The guards did not notice the presence and abrupt departure of the intruders, but the door did…and it waited patiently, knowing that its visitors would be back to see it again soon enough. And it would open not long after that, and spread its power across the Omniverse once more. It had waited eons for that day, and it could wait a little bit more.  
It wouldn't be much longer now…

…

After settling down in the cozy secret library on Sharpedo Cape and being filled in on everything Ash and Pikachu already knew about the situation, the Professor revealed his own knowledge to the adventurers over a hot cup of tea.

"Shadow Pokemon," he mused, blowing some steam from the surface of the warm liquid filling his cup. "Are not quite the same as regular Pokemon. As you have already observed, they have a black aura visible to people who normally aren't sensitive to Auras, are stronger than regular Pokemon, and have a number of other interesting features which make them incredibly dangerous to fight."

"Tell us something we don't know," Ash said sardonically, sipping from his cup.

"What is the source of this strange 'Shadow' power?" Pikachu asked as Tracey refilled his cup.

Oak shrugged. "There have been a number of methods used to create Shadow Pokemon over the years. All of them, however, revolve around the heart. You see, a Shadow Pokemon is basically a regular Pokemon who has had the door to its heart shut tight. All of its positive emotions are sealed off, leaving only negativity behind, turning the Pokemon into a heartless fighting machine fueled by the power of darkness."

Pikachu frowned at this. "Darkness?"

Oak nodded. "Yes, and I'm not talking about the kind of everyday darkness that Dark Pokemon use. This is a malevolent force of pure evil which seeks to snuff out the light and destroy all that is good in our world. It is not clear how closing one's heart grants a Pokemon the power of darkness, but the ancient Aura Guardians theorized that by removing a person's positive emotions and leaving them only with their negative thoughts and feelings, their minds are embittered and start resonating to the undercurrent of chaos running throughout the Omniverse generated by people using their free will to harm and kill other people, granting them enhanced power and a thirst for violence and bloodshed, making them almost perfect evil soldiers."

Ash started. "The Aura Guardians knew about Shadow Pokemon?!"

Oak nodded. "Of course. The first Shadow Pokemon were actually created by the Aura Guardians…or rather, the Dark Ones, a splinter sect of the Guardians who broke off from the main group thousands of years ago and sought to use their powers for evil means, rather than to protect the innocent. They made Shadow Pokemon by artificially shutting captive Pokemon's hearts using their Aura powers, and sealing their own hearts to make themselves even stronger. The Dark Ones used Shadow Pokemon as slaves and living weapons in their many battles against the Aura Guardians throughout history."

Ash was floored by this. "There were evil Aura Guardians?" He whispered, looking into the cooling pool of liquid in his teacup in disbelief. Why hadn't Chuck told him this? Had he even known? Why hadn't his book mentioned this? Had he just not gotten to that part yet?

"I never knew the Aura Guardians had a rival that also could use Aura," said a surprised Pikachu.  
"Most people don't," Tracey spoke up, giving himself some tea since nobody else needed refills at the moment. "The Aura Guardians wiped all of them out centuries ago, so there's little memory of them anymore. Then again, there's not much left of the Guardians themselves these days either…kinda ironic."

Oak nodded in agreement. "There are some who say that the Aura Guardians and the Dark Ones created some sort of balance in Aura, and when one was destroyed, the other could not help but follow soon after."

"They can't be entirely extinct, though, if the Nihilators are using Shadow Pokemon…" Pikachu murmured as Ash tried to understand the full implications of this new revelation. "Could some of them have escaped and continued practicing their dark arts in secret right underneath the Aura Guardians' noses?"

Oak shrugged. "It's possible, but considering how that Toxicroak you mentioned was induced into Hyper Mode-"

"Hyper Mode?" Ash interrupted, looking up.

"When the rage and other roiling negative energies within Shadow Pokemon reach their peak, they enter a state called 'Hyper Mode' where their strength increases tenfold and they are able to use their Shadow Aura in a variety of different attacks, though they often suffer a drop in thinking capacity as a result," Oak explained.

"That would explain why that Drowzee guy needed to exercise all that control once his buddy transformed," Ash realized.

Oak nodded in agreement. "Yes, precisely. But in any event, considering that the Hyper Mode was triggered by an injection, I think it's possible that our enemy might have come across the power of Shadow through scientific means rather than learning its secrets from the Dark Ones. A few decades before the cataclysm which wiped out mankind, an evil human organization called Cipher discovered how to create Shadow Pokemon through the efforts of the mad scientists Ein and Lovrina—though the latter could only barely be considered a scientist, really. What was she thinking, doing experiments with hair like that?" Ash and Pikachu gave him puzzled looks. The Professor coughed and continued. "The methods Cipher used to do this, however, are largely unknown. It's possible that the scientists of the Nihilators were able to recreate Ein's method or invented their own, which is not unfeasible, although it must have taken them a very long time to figure it out. After all, no one else in the present day knows anything about Shadow Pokemon or how to create them." He hesitated. "At least…no one still alive, anyway…"

Ash and Pikachu exchanged glances. "Is there something you're not telling us?" Ash asked suspiciously.

Oak flinched and did not answer. "Leave the Professor alone!" Tracey cried angrily, speaking up in his teacher's defense. "If he doesn't want to tell you something, that's his prerogative!"

Oak grimaced and looked down at the swirling leaves in his tea, as if reading some grim portents of the future in them. "It's not something I really like to talk about…" he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "And besides, he's dead anyway…he couldn't possibly…" Ash and Pikachu looked at him in confusion. Oak sighed and shook his head. "It's not important. I've told you all I know about Shadow Pokemon." He smiled, the gleam coming back to his eyes. "But…I haven't told you about what I discovered down in the tunnels today!"

"It had better be good, to have you rushing off and worrying all of us like that!" Tracey scolded.

"Oh, it's most certainly good." Oak finished his tea and placed the cup on a saucer. "As you already know, the bottommost city underneath Treasure Town predates all known human and Pokemon civilizations. What you might not know, however, is that the door, those rings around it, and the chains binding it, are even older. I haven't tested the rock samples I've collected yet, but I have reason to believe that that door might have been placed on this world before intelligent life even existed here!"

This startled the brothers. "What? It's that old?!" Pikachu cried.

"Impossible! If it's even older than sentient life on Earth, then who could possibly have made it?!" an astonished Tracey demanded.

"Arceus?" Ash suggested. Everyone looked at him with confusion on their faces Embarrassed by the attention he was receiving, he continued. "Well, we know he put the Law Rock here, right? So maybe he dropped that door here too."

Pikachu shook his head fervently. "Unthinkable. That door was pure evil. Arceus would never have created something like that, and then left it on a planet where people would eventually evolve and find it."

"That's true," Oak agreed. "However, Arceus isn't the only power in the Omniverse who existed before sentient life that could have done such a thing." This was a very worrisome thought, and not one that any of the group felt comfortable with dwelling on for very long. "It's just a theory," the Professor said quickly, trying to brighten the mood. "I haven't run all the necessary tests yet to find out for sure. Something I am rather certain of, though, is the information I've just learned about the seven keys of lore!"

"What about them?" asked Pikachu.

"When you think about keys, what comes to mind?" the Professor asked. "Little metal rod with bits at the end that you shove into a lock and twist to open a door, right?" The others nodded. Oak smirked. "Now, how many people throughout history do you think have assumed that the seven door keys looked something like that as well?"

"Uh…I dunno," Ash said with a shrug.

"Every single one," said Oak, getting up from his seat, walking over to and opening a bookcase, and removing a particular volume from the shelves. "However, after re-examining the crystalline locks surrounding the door, I have found evidence to the contrary." He walked back over to the table. "You saw those pedestals surrounding the door too, did you not? Tell me now: did it look like a plain old key would fit in those things?"

Ash and Pikachu thought about it for a moment. "No, not really," Ash admitted.

"From the indentations in the sides of the pillars, it looked more like something angular and spiky would fit in them," Pikachu added. "And the indentations were relatively shallow, so the objects that fit in them can't be that big or wide."

Tracey nodded in agreement. "Yeah, something…I dunno, star-shaped?"

"Exactly!" Oak said, slamming the book down on the table and causing everyone to jump. "That is why, all these years, nobody has been able to find the keys to the great door! They all had the wrong expectations as to what the keys would look like, so spent all this time looking for the wrong things!"

"I thought it was because the map could only be unsealed and read by people with pure hearts," Ash pointed out.

"Yes, well, that too," Oak admitted. "But this world is only so big. There are only so many ancient mystical artifacts to go around, so it's inevitable that someone should have stumbled upon the ones in question sooner or later, no matter how well-hidden they were. And yet nobody in memory has. Why is that, we must wonder?

"Now that I have seen the indentations on the pillars, I think I know why. I believe that I have surmised exactly what the keys are, and why they have gone unfound for so many millennia: they have been hidden under other names and exchanged from hand to hand for centuries, slipping right past the noses of everyone who had been looking for them for untold ages!"

"I see…so they were hiding in plain sight," Pikachu realized. "Very clever. That means someone could have had one of the keys all their lives without actually realizing what it was, correct?"

Oak nodded. "Precisely!"

"So what are the keys, then?" an intrigued Tracey asked.

Oak opened the book and turned it around so that the others could see a faded color image of seven star-shaped gemstones. "Why, none other than the legendary Seven Star Badges!"

Tracey gasped and smacked his forehead. "Of course! It all makes sense now! Those would be of about the right shape and size to fit in those indentations, wouldn't they?"

"Without a doubt!" Oak agreed.

"Um, you've lost us. What are the Seven Star Badges?" asked a very confused Pikachu.

"And are they anything like these?" Ash asked, pulling out his Diamond-Rank Rescue Team Badge.

Oak nodded. "Yes, except that the badges we're talking about are a little larger, magical, and all made of a different gemstone or metal."

"Ah," said Ash.

"Though there is a diamond one," Tracey noted, pointing to one of the stars in the book. "But it's not quite the same as yours."

"So, fill us in on these things," Pikachu said, looking at the picture in the book. "What are the Seven Star Badges? You say that they're the keys we're looking for?"

Oak nodded. "I believe so, yes. The Seven Star Badges have always appeared to be your typical set of seven magical objects of unknown origin that can create miracles and whatnot when brought together, which is probably why nobody ever connected them to the door underneath Treasure Town before now. However, since individually (and even when brought together) their powers have often fallen rather short of the expectations of many a warlord or enchanter, there hasn't been as much drive to collect them as there have similar artifacts of that nature. As a result, they've stayed scattered around the world for centuries, passed down from owner to owner rather peacefully over the generations, until nobody remembered what they were capable of and just thought of them as pretty jewels, and they all but faded from history. Something which I'm sure that whoever made them and used them to seal the door would have approved of, now that I think of it."

"So…do you know where these Star things are, then?" Ash asked hopefully.

Oak shook his head. "I'm afraid not. Like I said, they've been lost to history. However, your map knows where they are, and each new Star you obtain will lead you to the next."

Ash frowned. "But…that's what we were going to do anyway. How does what you've just told us change anything? I mean, it's interesting, but…"

"Now that we know the keys are the Seven Star Badges, we know what to look for," Pikachu explained. "While we've always had the map, which told us where the keys were, it never told us what they looked like or how we'd find them once we got there. Thanks to the Professor's information, we know that we need to keep our eyes open for star-shaped badges made of gemstones."

"Or precious minerals," Tracey reminded them.

Realization dawned on Ash. "Ohhh, I get it now…that IS a big help. Thanks, Professor!" He examined the picture in the book again. "So, when we get to Turtle Town, we just need to look for something like one of these, right? That shouldn't be too difficult."

"You'd be right…if it weren't for the fact that the Nihilators by now must suspect the Star Badge is somewhere near the town, since they captured Misty and Gardevoir en route to there," Oak pointed out. "So you might run into them while you're searching for the key."

"And then there's the dragon," Tracey added.

Oak nodded. "That's right, I'd forgotten about that. Yes, you'll have to deal with the dragon, too."

Pikachu and Ash exchanged worried looks. "Uh, what dragon?" Ash asked.

"Oh, of course, you're not from around here. You wouldn't know," Oak realized. "About…five or six years ago, an abnormally large and incredibly powerful Dragon-type Pokemon—big and nasty enough to be classified a 'monster,' I believe—began terrorizing the people of Turtle Town; destroying their homes, stealing their crops, eating some of the townsfolk…you know, the usual."

"The turtles have tried repeatedly to drive the dragon away, but it's killed and/or eaten all their warriors. And any mercenary or hero types the townspeople try to recruit to fight the beast all get killed too," Tracey explained.

Pikachu frowned. "A dragon, huh? Ash, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"That we should help those turtles and do something about that dragon?" Ash suggested.

"Well, yes, that, but I was also referring to the fact that Dragon-types generally love to hoard treasure and it's quite possible that this monster might have the Star we're looking for in its collection," Pikachu clarified.

Ash blinked. "Oh. That. Yeah, that was my second guess."

"Do you guys think you can take out a monster like that?" Tracey asked. "I mean, that Toxicroak you beat was pretty impressive, but…a dragon!"

"Eh, we beat Rayquaza, the King of all Dragons. This guy can't be that hard," Ash said nonchalantly.

Oak and Tracey gawked. "You beat Rayquaza?!" Oak cried in disbelief.

"Yeah, to save the world. Didn't we mention that part?" Ash asked Pikachu.

"I guess we must have forgotten," Pikachu said with a shrug.

"You met the legendary ancient king of all dragons? Wow…what was he like?" Tracey asked, even more in awe of his new friends than he already was.

Ash and Pikachu thought about that for a moment. "Friendly," Pikachu finally said.

"But oddly insecure," Ash added. "With that much power and such a long lifetime and reputation, you'd think he'd have a bit more confidence…"

Oak shook his head in amazement. "It sounds like the two of you have had incredible adventures and seen all sorts of things…I can't help but feel slightly envious. I've spent most of my life chasing legends, but you two have actually met them…and made some of your own, I'd wager!"

"Yeah, we did do some amazing stuff, didn't we?" Ash reminisced. "It was pretty cool…"

"Yes, aside from all the parts where we thought we were going to die," Pikachu muttered with a roll of the eyes.

"Good times, good times," Ash said fondly. Pikachu sweatdropped.

"Well, if you were able to defeat Rayquaza, you should certainly have no problem beating this dragon," Tracey said confidently. Pikachu decided not to mention that Rayquaza had been…not exactly easy, but certainly not at the top of his game when they had fought him.

"In any event, we can't be sure that this dragon has the Star, but it's a safe bet," Oak said. "And once you defeat it and claim the Badge, the map should update itself to guide you to the next one."

"And then, once I have all seven Badges, I'll become a Pokemon Master!" Ash declared, rising from his seat. Everyone stared at him. He flushed and sat back down. "Sorry…don't know what came over me…"

"Right…" Pikachu said slowly. He turned back to their new friends. "So, will you guys be coming with us?"

Tracey snorted. "Are you kidding? That thing would eat us alive!"

Oak glared at Tracey. "I believe that what my young friend here meant to say is that we'd be of better use to you here. Neither of us are great fighters, and while I might be able to get past a guard or two with some techniques, I'm not particularly good at fisticuffs. I'm an academic, not a warrior. We'd only slow you down."

"Probably," Ash agreed. Pikachu elbowed him. "Ow!"

"Now that we know for certain…well, we're pretty sure, anyway…what the keys actually are, we can better research them here," Oak said, gesturing to the books behind him. "And perform more analysis on the latest data I brought up from the ancient city. As I've said before, I'm almost positive that the answers to all the mysteries surrounding us can be found in the lore collected here. We just need to find it. And if we're out with you in the thick of it…"

"Risking our lives and tails," Tracey added.

"We can't really get those answers, now can we?" Oak finished.

Pikachu nodded. "Fair enough. So, how do we get to Turtle Town?"

"It's near Green Meadow, to the east of here," Oak said. "It'll take a couple of days to get to on foot. It's not that far."

"And there's a road," Tracey added. "Hard to miss. Though nobody uses it these days, what with the dragon and all."

Ash nodded. "Okay. Guess we're going to Turtle Town, then."

Oak glanced out the jagged 'window' in the cave wall at the setting sun. They had spent several hours down in the catacombs, and it was almost dusk now. "Perhaps you should wait until morning. It's rather late, and these parts can get rather dangerous around nightfall."

"More dangerous than they are in broad daylight?" asked an incredulous Ash.

"Much more," the Professor said dryly.

"I suppose we could stay the night," Pikachu said reluctantly.

Oak smacked his hands together gleefully. "Excellent! Tracey, prepare the guest room for our new friends. It's been quite some time since we've had company for the evening."

"Uh, we don't have a guest room," Tracey said.

The Professor frowned. "Oh. What do we have, then?"

"A few storerooms? I could clear them out a little and set up a cot or a sleeping bag, but they won't be that comfortable…" Tracey said reluctantly.

"That's all right," Ash assured him. "We're professional adventurers. We've slept in worse conditions."

"Excellent!" said Oak as Tracey walked off to do his bidding. "This should be quite the enjoyable occasion. You must tell me all about your adventures. Your friends told me a bit about the things you've both done, but I always relish a good adventure story, especially ones that are true!"

With an easy shrug, the brothers acquiesced. They had nothing better to do, after all. And after the stressful events of that day, it would be good to unwind with good friends over a warm meal.  
And when the sun rose the next morning, they would embark for Turtle Town, and begin the next part of their quest.

…

Elsewhere…

"Sir! We have a new report from the caves underneath Treasure Town. There is evidence which suggests that Professor Oak, and perhaps his lackey Sketchit and the Lucario and Pikachu who rescued him, managed to penetrate our defenses and make it all the way down to the door and back without being detected."

"If they weren't detected, then how do you know they were there?"

"Some footprints and DNA traces. Also, several of the guards we posted are showing telltale signs of being brainwashed—by someone other than us, that is—and the Magnetons stationed on one of the staircases leading down to the final level reported hearing strange noises, as if someone invisible fell down the stairs cursing and shouting the whole way down. They didn't see anyone, though."

"Well, of course they didn't, not if they were invisible! How is it that these inexperienced ivory tower scholars have continued to evade our grasp and sneak past us time and time again?!"

"Well sir, as you know, in the catacombs the energy given off by the door increases intrinsically the closer you get to it, and too much exposure to it damages our sensors and causes our troops to go a little…crazy. Shall I execute the guards responsible for letting the intruders get by them?"

"No, it wasn't their fault; these interlopers are just sneakier than expected. Double the guards we have posted down there, rotate them constantly to keep them from experiencing too many ill effects from the door, and lay down more traps. Also, I want transponders installed in their brains so that nobody will be able to alter their minds but us."

"But sir, that would require hours of invasive and incredibly painful surgery!"

"I know. Won't the Doctor be pleased?"

…

Meanwhile, in Kanjohenn…

A lone figure stood atop an icy peak, balancing on one foot atop the narrowest and highest point on one of the tallest mountains on the entire continent, unmoved by the incredible cold or the strong gusts of wind that periodically blew over the mountaintop, pushing back his fur and long ears but failing to dislodge the figure in the slightest. He had been standing in that same position for over a month now, one leg held steady before his chest, his arms outstretched, his tail stiff behind him, his senses extended to their fullest and most sensitive to better tune himself to nature, to the ebb and flow of power and life in the world around him. He had not hungered during that month, having learned long ago how to find sustenance by drawing moisture and energy from the air particles around him. This allowed him to focus all his attention to his surroundings, and to the secret workings of the Omniverse.

He sensed a sudden change. A shift in the balance of things. He turned his head for the first time in weeks, staring off into the distance with unseeing eyes from underneath the blindfold wrapped across his face. He spoke, using a voice slightly raspy from disuse, for he had not communicated verbally for quite a few years now.

"It is time."

…

And so we finally got to meet the Professor. What did you think of him? And of the door?

And who is this mysterious figure? Though I'm sure you can guess pretty easily. It's not that hard.

Tune in next time, when the heroes finally reach Turtle Town! It'll certainly be a nicer place than Treasure Town. Considering all the problems that shithole has, a monstrous turtle-eating dragon should be nothing to worry about, right?


	9. Turtle Town Travails

And so the first part of the main quest begins. We get to leave the doom and gloom of Treasure Town for the hopefully much more cheerful Turtle Town. Well, cheerful aside from the giant dragon who destroys their crops, burns down their houses, eats the townspeople…er…

Well, it'll still be better than Treasure Town.

…

Disclaimer: I own Turtle Town and most of its residents, but not much else.

…

Ash and Pikachu got up the next morning and, after a healthy breakfast, packing, and an oddly tearful goodbye (Tracey seemed really sorry to see them go, the poor guy), the brothers set out to Turtle Town in the east, making sure to skirt widely around Treasure Town in the process.

"If I never set foot in that place again, it'll be too soon," Ash muttered under his breath as they passed the eyesore of a settlement from a safe distance, glaring at it distrustfully.

"You know we're going to go back there eventually," Pikachu reminded him.

Ash sighed. "Yeah, I know…let's just hope it's not in the near future, okay?" Pikachu nodded in agreement.

Both their tensions eased and their spirits rose as they headed further eastward, putting the town to their backs and soon leaving it far behind them. It helped that they were finally able to wear their Diamond-rank badges with pride on their chests again, rather than hiding them from prying eyes and claws like they had needed to do in Treasure Town. They traveled in amiable silence and peace along the somewhat disheveled and overrun road Tracey and Oak had told them to keep an eye out for, their journey undisturbed save for a couple of run-ins with starving bandits, a dive-bombing by a flock of Taillow with irritable bowels, and an attack by a drunken and crazy minstrel.

"Those spoony bards," Ash said with a shake of his head as they watched the minstrel in question, a gaudily-colored (well, more so than usual) Mr. Mime giggling insanely while bonking his noggin with a mandolin.

Other than those rude interruptions, their journey was surprisingly pleasant, and Ash and Pikachu enjoyed the wide plains, green forests, and lush hills of Sinnorre, much more peaceful than the terrain of their home region, considering the escalating barbarian presence. "I think I'm starting to warm up to this place," Ash commented to Pikachu.

"Yes, well, remember that Treasure Town still exists, and I'm sure we'll run into many more horrible things on this continent before we're through," Pikachu wisely reminded his friend.

Ash scowled. "Why do you always have to go and ruin a nice moment by being logical?"

"One of us has to be the level-headed member of this duo," Pikachu pointed out. "Might as well be me."

"True," Ash admitted. "That means I get to have more fun, then. Ooh, look, there are some more bandits trying to hide behind those trees over there. Let's go beat them up."

"Okay," said Pikachu, drawing his sword.

After beating up the poor crooks, they continued for a while longer until night fell and they were forced to set up camp. They had done this many times before out in the wilds of Kanjohenn while on long missions, and so it was with easy familiarity that they built a small fire pit, set up little traps and signals to let them know if anyone approached their campsite in their sleep, and settled down to have a good homecooked meal. Well, a meal that had been homecooked and stored in Ash's knapsack for almost a week, anyway.

"Mmm, Mom makes the best rice cakes," Ash commented, munching on one of his favorite treats while warming himself next to the fire.

"Don't eat too many of those, we're not going to get anymore for quite some time once we're done with them," Pikachu muttered around the trail mix stuffed in his mouth.

"I'll worry about that time when it comes," Ash said, shoving five whole rice cakes down his throat and swallowing without chewing. Pikachu grimaced in disgust.

After dinner, Pikachu spent some time practicing with his sword. Normally Ash would have done some training as well, but at the moment he was more interested in a different kind of preparation.

He was deeply engrossed in reading _Secrets of an Aura Master,_ desperate to find more information about the Dark Ones, Shadow Pokemon, how to make them, and, with any luck, how to defeat them. At any other time Pikachu would have joked about his brother not being the studying time, but he knew as well as Ash did just how important any information they could find about the mysterious power their enemy possessed could be.

"Any luck?" Pikachu asked after about an hour of swordplay, sheathing his sword, wiping away some sweat, and sitting down to nibble on some berries they had found before camping.

"Sort of," Ash said, an unreadable expression from his face. Reluctantly, he peeled his eyes away from the pages of his book to look at his partner across the campfire. "I don't really know if I can explain all the stuff I've found out already—heck, I'm not sure I understand it myself, I've skipped ahead a bit so I don't get all the advanced stuff it talks about—but I'm getting the gist of it, and from what I've gleaned so far, the Dark Ones were _really_ nasty guys. It's no wonder the Aura Guardians banished and later tried to destroy them, considering the sorts of things these guys did in the name of power and to advance their understanding of Aura."

"Like what?" Pikachu asked.

Ash grimaced. "They performed all sorts of disgusting experiments on innocent Pokemon—and some humans too, though those usually resulted in horribly agonizing deaths. There's some really gross pictures in here, be glad you can't see them—to close the doors to their hearts and turn them into Shadow Pokemon. The Dark Ones were unable to find a way to corrupt someone else's Aura just by manipulating it—you see, there's this sort of baseline level for what all hearts are supposed to be like, and while an Aura user can do all sorts of things to someone's Aura, they can't change the fundamental nature of their hearts—so they had to find a way to alter the Pokemon's heart to make them Shadows."

Pikachu frowned. "But you just said they couldn't change the nature of the heart."

"No, they couldn't change it using _Aura,_" Ash corrected him. "At least, not directly. There's all sorts of other ways to do that, though. I don't think I completely understand it, but…it seems like the sorts of experiences a person goes through in life, the nature of the world around them, determines how they behave towards others, and that affects the way their heart…_feels_ towards people and the world in general. Or something like that."

Pikachu thought about that for a moment. "So…the reason we're purehearted is because we live in the healthy, loving environment of Pokemon Square, surrounded by friends and family, while the people in Treasure Town are…well, bad, because they live in a crappy place and nobody cares about them?"

"Something like that," Ash agreed.

Pikachu frowned. "Wait, but you said Aura _can't_ be used to change a person's fundamental heart…but you also said the door's Aura was affecting other people's Auras. Isn't that a contradiction?"

Ash shook his head. "Not exactly. Basically, what the door's Aura is doing is sort of…suggesting. Putting whispers and evil thoughts in a person's head. You know what I mean, the impulse to do something naughty, like tell an amusing fib to Pichu just to see how he reacts."

"Or hide my sword and make me think that Gary stole it?" Pikachu asked drily.

"Uh, yeah, that too," Ash said shiftily. "Anyway, most of the time you'd ignore those impulses. But, in the right environment, and with lots of those things building up in your head over time, you'd be more tempted to act on them. And acting on them would change the environment around you, and the way people react to you, which would cause your own heart to change, and make you more likely to do more bad things, and so…"

"I see. It would create an endless cycle of hatred," Pikachu realized. "Fascinating. But that means that even if we can somehow stop whatever the door's doing, it might not change the town?"

"Not at once," Ash admitted. "But without the source of the evil, it's possible that over time the people there might become better than they used to be."

Pikachu nodded. "That makes sense. So, is that what the Dark Ones did?"

Ash frowned. "Ah, no. Something like that just subtly makes a person eviler…and it takes a really long time, anyway. Plus, it's not enough to push a person completely off the brink into darkness and turn them into Shadow Pokemon."

"Then what is?" Pikachu asked.

"Well…" Ash hesitated. "Torture, for one."

Pikachu's ears flattened against his skull. "Ah."

"From what I can tell, an important element in closing the door to a Pokemon's heart has to do with corrupting its memories," Ash continued.

Pikachu frowned. "Memories? How so?"

"Well, memories are how we remember people, what we've done in life, and we use them to judge how we should behave in everyday interactions with others," Ash said. "Happy memories make us happy, and sad memories make us sad, right? Well, Shadow power comes from negative emotions, so to make a Shadow Pokemon you need to…get rid of those happy memories."

"I see…so, brainwashing?" Pikachu guessed.

"Kinda…but not quite," Ash said. "From what it says here, I think that the happy memories either have to be suppressed or, well, tainted. So that they don't seem happy anymore and your whole life seems like nothing but one big miserable mess. Part of that seems to occur when you drive someone insane, since their whole way of looking at the world and remembering things becomes extremely skewed, but indoctrination and torture are other ways to go about it. They make you question or discount the life and happiness you had before, and start to accept darkness and hatred as the only way to truly be alive. Once you've started doing that, once you've actively chosen to let darkness into your heart, the Dark Ones just feed a bit more of their twisted Aura into your own to finish the corruption and turn you into a Shadow Pokemon, locking the door to your heart—which you yourself have closed—in the process."

Pikachu grimaced at the thought. He mulled it over for a moment. "Do you think that's what happened to the Nihilators? Since they seem to all be Shadow Pokemon, as far as we know. That they were tortured or indoctrinated into becoming pure evil?"

Ash shrugged. "Well, since it looked like they were increasing their power using drugs, it's hard to say. They might not have become Shadow Pokemon the same way the Dark Ones created them. However, something I _do_ know is that you can't become a Shadow Pokemon against your will (not the way this book describes, anyway), you have to willingly choose to close your heart. But apparently being tortured enough counts to, because some people are willing to do anything, even become monsters, to make the pain stop. That's how most of the first Shadow Pokemon were created…the Dark Ones captured innocent Pokemon and tortured them until they couldn't tell good from bad anymore and were transformed into minions of evil. It's easier to make Shadows from Pokemon or people who already have bad lives and see the world from a skewed perspective, but stronger ones can be made from people who used to be more good or pure. Not sure why."

"Hmm. Guess that means suicides are likely candidates for this too…" Pikachu mused. His eyes widened, a thought coming to him. "In fact…couldn't that mean a lot of the Pokemon in Treasure Town would be pretty easy to turn into Shadow Pokemon? Their lives are full of darkness and suffering anyway, so what's a little more?"

"That could explain where some of the Nihilators' forces come from, and why they have such a tight hold over the place," Ash agreed, seeing where Pikachu was going. "After all, it probably would be a good breeding ground for future soldiers of evil, wouldn't it?"

Pikachu sighed. "I don't suppose there's a cure, is there?"

"Actually, there is," Ash said, glancing back at his book. "But I don't understand the techniques to do it yet. It's very advanced stuff, way over my head. I'll need to do a lot more studying of the fundamentals of Aura-manipulation before I can even understand the basics of curing Shadow Pokemon."

Pikachu sighed. "That's a shame. If we could figure out a way to neutralize that power, the Nihilators would be a lot easier to defeat."

"I'll get there," Ash assured his friend. "Just give me a little time. Something I do know for sure is that kindness can reduce a Shadow Pokemon's…er, 'Shadow-ness.' Being kind to them, I mean. It helps remind them what kindness is, and makes it easier for them to transition back to being normal again. It also helps them recall the happy memories that were sealed away, and fully reopen the doors to their hearts."

"I don't think that'll help us…" Pikachu said. "Since they're going to be actively fighting us, we don't really have time to be kind to them."

Ash nodded. "Yeah, the kindness thing was one technique Pokemon trainers and Aura Guardians used to help captured Shadows recover, but it wasn't really much use out on the battlefield. It seems to work better on Pokemon that used to be good, though, since they have more experience with positive emotions and have more happy memories, so it's less work to bring them back into the light. Something else that also seems to work is for a loved one to call their names. It doesn't exactly reduce their 'Shadow-ness,' but it helps them to recover their senses and snap out of Hyper Mode if they should ever lose it and start relapsing."

"That's interesting, but it also doesn't help us much," Pikachu said with a sigh. "How many of the Nihilators actually have loved ones? Wouldn't be surprised if anyone who was close to them were murdered by the organization to make it easier to convert individual members. They seem like that type."

"There are more effective ways to cure Shadow Pokemon, but those require more advanced Aura techniques I haven't learned yet," Ash continued. "There's also something about giving massages, but I don't think I really want to go there…I'll figure it all out eventually, though."

Pikachu nodded. "Good, because if we're going to beat these guys, we're going to need any advantage against them we can get. And if that means turning their own soldiers against them by reminding the good ones of who they used to be, then that's just what we'll have to do." He gave Ash a serious look. "Is there anything I can do to help get you closer to understanding those techniques and ending this?"

Ash gave his brother a grin that suddenly made Pikachu fear for his life. "Well, I _could_ use a guinea Grumpig…"

Pikachu sweatdropped. "Why do I get the feeling I should have kept my mouth shut?"

"That's just the berries you were eating," Ash said. "Now, get over here, I wanna see if I can use Aura to change your fur color…" Pikachu swallowed, somehow knowing that pointing out to his brother that he _liked_ being yellow wouldn't change a thing.

…

The next morning, Ash and Pikachu (the latter the same color he had always been, the former a rather loud shade of pink that took hours to fade back to blue) packed up and set back out on the road. They had been unmolested throughout the night except for when a rather near-sighted Ursaring with a sore head had wandered into their campsite, so they had slept pretty well and were ready to continue on their journey to Turtle Town. They were not bothered on the way, and concluded that the local bandits had probably heard from their beaten brethren that the Rescue Team was out of their league, so didn't feel like risking their lives trying to fight the duo. As a result, they made very good time, and arrived at Green Meadow a little after midday, several hours ahead of their ETA.

Green Meadow, as the name implied, was a huge meadow, with plains and gentle grassy hills stretching out for miles. It wasn't actually green, though, since fall was approaching, but that was nothing to hold against it. The village off in the distance, roughly in the middle of the rolling fields of Green Meadow, surrounded by hills and domesticated farmland, seemed pleasant enough. To the naked eye, the settlement looked to be MUCH nicer than Treasure Town, with dome-shaped houses vaguely resembling turtle shells done in cheery pastel colors, flower-filled gardens and sparkling fountains, and shelled inhabitants fleeing in terror from a huge winged form which rose up from a burning wreck, wreathed in smoke and flame…wait, what?

"I guess that's the dragon," Ash observed as the enormous beast—much bigger than any Dragon Pokemon the duo had ever seen save for Rayquaza himself—flew off towards a castle far to the north, carrying a large wrapped-up tarp bulging with unseen contents in its hind legs. "Do we go after it?"

Pikachu shook his head. "We'll never catch up to it now. It looks like that castle's its lair. We can always head there later. Right now, I think those turtles need our help." Ash nodded in agreement, and they both hurried towards Turtle Town as the house the dragon had destroyed continued to burn and send a pillar of smoke into the sky.

It took them several minutes to get to town, and by that time the fire had been put out, a small brigade of Squirtle, Wartortle, and Blastoise using Water Guns to extinguish the flames. "Good work, boys," a Wartortle with a bandana, the leader of the brigade, congratulated the other turtles. "We managed to keep the fire from spreading to the rest of the town…this time."

"How long's it gonna be till the next time?" an unhappy Blastoise complained.

"About a month or so…unless our neighbor decides to toy around with us…again," one of the Squirtles said unhappily.

"We can't let this keep happening," the Blastoise said angrily. "Somebody should do something!"

"That's the same attitude that got every fighter in town killed and cost dozens of families their loved ones," the Wartortle said wearily. "We can't afford to have any more heroes in this town. You know that as well as I do." The Blastoise grumbled unhappily but didn't argue. The Wartortle sighed and looked around at the depressed faces of his brigade. "Come on, don't give me that look, you guys…we did what we came here to do. Let's head on home."

It was at that point that Ash and Pikachu arrived. "Uh, excuse me," Ash asked the Wartortle. "Do you need any help here?"

"Huh? Nah, we got it under control," the water turtle said with a casual wave. He paused, and then did a double-take. "Hey, wait a minute…who the heck are you guys?"

"I'm Pikachu, and this is my friend Ash," Pikachu introduced himself. "We were on our way to town and saw that…monster leave. Is everything all right?"

The Wartortle sighed, his shell sagging over his limbs. "All right? Hell no, nothing's been all right for years…and I doubt they're gonna get any better anytime soon." He frowned, and suddenly his head shot up, fixing the duo with a suspicious glare. "Wait a minute. You were coming to town? Tourists don't come by these parts anymore. Didn't you hear that we're sort of being terrorized by a dragon?"

"That's actually sort of why we're here," Ash confessed. "We were thinking we could maybe get rid of it or something and save the town."

Oddly enough, the other turtles groaned rather than cheering and jumping for joy at the prospect that someone had come to save them, which Ash had half-expected they'd do. A bitter expression formed on the Wartortle's face. "Oh, you wanna help, huh?" He shook his head angrily. "You and every other wannabe hero and adventurer and mercenary who's come around these parts in the last six years. And you know what happened to every single one of them?"

"Wound up right in the dragon's belly," a Squirtle said, shaking its head.

"We won't let that happen," Ash said confidently.

"Yeah, that's what all the other ones said," a Blastoise said doubtfully.

The Wartortle snorted and turned away. "You wanna go and throw your lives away and make everyone who cares about you cry—assuming anyone _does_ care about you, that is—go ahead. I'm not taking any part in this." He glanced back at the brothers over his shoulder. "If I were you, I'd leave town now, while you still can. But if you're really set on getting yourself killed, then talk to the Mayor. It's his job to deal with thrill-seeking idiots like you. Come on boys, let's go."

The turtles ambled off. Ash and Pikachu exchanged confused looks. "Well, that was…unusual," Pikachu commented.

Ash frowned and folded his arms over his chest. "What was their problem? You'd think they'd want to be rescued."

"I'm sure they do," Pikachu agreed. "But if I understood them correctly, lots of people have tried to over the last few years…and every one of them has failed. Maybe they've just stopped hoping."

Ash grimaced. "You think? That's…that's pretty sad."

Pikachu nodded in agreement. "I think Pokemon Square would be like that too, if all our heroes and Rescue Teams were killed and there was nobody to protect us from the barbarians. We'd feel there was no hope of salvation. No one to help us."

"Well, let's see if we can't do something about that," Ash said with determination. "Come on, let's go find the Mayor. If he's anything like ours, he'll be near the center of town, with the kind of residence that makes it clear the guy in charge lives there."

They headed into town. Externally, Turtle Town matched the impression they had gotten when they had first seen it; a nice place to live with colorful homes and friendly people. All the Pokemon who lived here were turtles, as Ash and Pikachu had surmised, except for the ubiquitous Nurse Joy operating the local Pokemon Center. Now that the ruckus from the building on fire was over, the townsfolk were going about their business, gardening or gossiping or just resting in the sun in spite of the rather clear undercurrent of fear and tension that was thick in the air. They seemed nice enough, though, and were more than willing to welcome the Rescue Team to their town and direct them to the Mayor, though all of them looked rather sad and gave the brothers pitying looks upon hearing the duo planned on facing the dragon. "You boys are too young to waste your lives so frivolously," an elderly female Torkoal told Ash and Pikachu when they said what they were doing there.

"Why does everyone here think we can't handle ourselves?" Ash asked, getting a little fed up of everyone saying that. "We've fought dragons before…"

"None like this one, I wager," the Torkoal's friend, an equally elderly Turtwig, said with a sad shake of her head. "Everyone who's gone up against that beast has died. Our best and brightest, no more thanks to that vicious monster."

"Why is the dragon bothering you, anyway?" Pikachu asked. "And why has it been sticking around so long, rather than simply destroying the town and moving on?"

The Torkoal laughed bitterly. "Because we feed it!"

The Turtwig nodded in agreement. "Every month it comes down from its lair in the old keep to the north and demands a portion of our crops. If we don't give it enough to satisfy its appetite, it destroys part of the town and eats one of our own. It allows us to live because it knows that if it makes us work for it, it will never have to hunt or feed itself ever again. It is a cunning and greedy beast, that dragon…"

"We work as hard as we can to ensure that there's enough food to feed the beast and ourselves," the Torkoal said sadly. "But many times the harvest is bad and there is not enough for everyone, and we are forced to give most of our share to the monster and starve, lest it eat us instead."

"Is that why it destroyed that house near the edge of town?" Pikachu asked.

"Hmm? No, it just got upset and threw a temper tantrum because we weren't able to grow any Yache berries this month. Those are its favorites," the Torkoal explained.

Pikachu blinked. "Ah."

"That's horrible," said a shocked Ash. "Why don't you just leave?"

"How?" the Turtwig asked. "The countryside surrounding us is plains and flatlands for miles. A good place to grow things, but not to sneak about! The dragon has the best vantage point in the area, it can see us going about and doing our work, and it would most certainly notice if we attempted to flee in a mass exodus. It would swoop down and kill us all, and feast upon our roasted flesh."

"It's only a matter of time before it tires of our paltry offerings and does that anyway," the Torkoal said despairingly.

Ash and Pikachu exchanged glances. "Sounds like a pretty bad situation they've got here," Pikachu murmured.

"Not for long. We're going to put a stop to this!" Ash insisted.

"That's what the others said," the Torkoal said with a sigh.

"We're not like the others!" Ash replied. He paused. "Uh. Are we?"

The turtles thought about that for a moment. "Well, we've never seen a Lucario before…" the Turtwig admitted.

"Or a Pikachu with a sword," the Torkoal agreed.

"But a couple of young fellas filled with confidence and the foolhardiness of youth and the absolute certainty that they can win? Yeah, we've seen dozens," the Turtwig finished. Ash and Pikachu sweatdropped.

"So, uh, where's the Mayor's place again?" Pikachu asked to change the subject.

"Oh, you can't miss it," the Torkoal said. "It's the most distinctive house in town."

…

It was. In retrospect, it was fairly obvious where the Mayor lived. His home was a large green shell-shaped building with a tree growing from the top. A tree grew from the Mayor's actual shell too, seeing as he was an ancient (and very large) Torterra. "So, you're the latest bunch to try your mettle, hmm?" the old tortoise said, his rheumy bespectacled eyes examining the two young Pokemon who had entered his office (which was actually more like an indoor garden, with a desk that was really more like a very low table which the Mayor could sit behind and glare impressively over at anyone who intruded on his domain). "I don't remember sending out any want ads this month…"

"You didn't," Ash said. "We heard about the dragon from word of mouth so thought we'd come and try to stop it. And we have business here, anyway."

The Mayor's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Business, huh?"

"Yeah…you wouldn't happen to know about any star-shaped gemstones, would you?" Pikachu asked. They hadn't inquired about the Star Badges when talking to the other townsfolk in an attempt to be more discreet and keep the Nihilators (if they were here) from realizing who they were.

The Mayor frowned and shook his head. "Doesn't ring a bell. Why?"

"We're looking for a couple of friends who were on their way here, also searching for that gemstone, when they vanished," Ash said. "You wouldn't happen to have seen them, would you? They were a Vaporeon and a Gardevoir. Went by the name of Misty and…Gardevoir."

The Mayor blinked. "A Gardevoir named Gardevoir?"

"It's a long story," Ash said sheepishly.

The Mayor thought for a moment, and then shook his head, the leaves on the mighty tree on his back shaking from the motion. "Sorry, but we haven't seen anyone fitting that description recently. You two are the first visitors we've had for a while…and for good reason, since there's pretty much a one hundred percent mortality rate for anyone traveling on Green Meadows these days, whether they're warriors trying to fight the dragon or not." Ash and Pikachu blanched at this. The Torterra frowned. "Speaking of which…you said you two want to fight the beast? Any reason in particular?"

"We're just your basic good Samaritans," Pikachu said, which was pretty much true.

The Mayor grunted. "Not interested in a reward, then? Well, that's probably for the best, since we don't really have much left to give you that's worth having. Some of your less charitable predecessors demanded payment in advance to fight the dragon, cleaning out most our treasury as a result…not that it helped them much. And since we haven't been able to leave this place for six years to trade with other town's, our cash economy's sort of dead at the moment. We've been forced to set up a system of favor-based exchanges to get anything done around here these days."

"If I may ask, how is it that the dragon's allowed you to spread the word about its presence here and invite people here to fight it?" a curious Pikachu asked. "Since from what everyone else in town has implied, there have been many other fighters here before us, and you yourself said that you sent out want ads. I would have thought the dragon would forbid you from contacting the outside world to consolidate its rule and better control you."

The Mayor chuckled bitterly. "You'd think so, wouldn't you? Well, the thing is…our lord and master's a greedy, gluttonous monster, but it's smart enough to know that demoralized slaves get less work done. As a result, it allows us certain freedoms to keep us from being completely down in the dumps, and one of those is continued communication with the outside world. As a result, many of us have become somewhat obsessed with television, the Internet, and the like, since it's the only escape we have from the rather bleak and potentially deadly situation which is our lives." He snorted. "Of course, this comes with a price. The dragon wants us to periodically issue invitations and challenges around the world to get warriors of all sorts here to fight it. This might not seem like a particularly smart thing to do, but the dragon is not only very strong, but very vain and arrogant. It believes that it can prove how strong it truly is by defeating the mightiest warriors it can find, and why bother going out to look for those warriors when it can just wait here for them to come to it?"

Pikachu nodded in understanding. "A clever strategy."

"And lazy," Ash commented.

"Perhaps, but despite this deliberate slothfulness the monster has still been strong enough to best every challenger who's come before it," the Mayor warned them. "Even our greatest warriors. When the monster first arrived in our village and issued its ultimatum, to feed it or be destroyed, every fighter and hero in town banded together into a small army that stormed the beast's lair in the ruined castle to the north. None of them returned. The monster came back to the village the next day and deposited a number of bones and empty shells which still had bits of flesh clinging to them and warned us that if we tried something like that again, the entire town would pay the price."

"Sounds like one tough customer," Ash commented.

"You have no idea," the Torterra said flatly. "Hearing all this, do you still want to try and take the beast on?"

Pikachu nodded. "Definitely. The code of the samurai would allow no less."

"And the code of the Aura Guardian, too," Ash agreed.

The Mayor's eyebrows rose in astonishment. "You're an Aura Guardian?!"

"Uh…" Ash sweatdropped. "Well…in training, theoretically."

"Oh." The Torterra slumped visibly, clearly disappointed. "Well, I think you're both making a big mistake, but if you insist on trying to fight this thing, there's nothing I can do to stop you."

"Right," said Pikachu. "So, where do we begin? You said the dragon lives in a castle to the north?"

The Mayor nodded. "Yes, centuries ago an evil warlord erected that place and ruled over the countryside from there, his armies oppressing the local people, including our ancestors. A group of brave heroes managed to defeat him, however, and free the land, and the place has been abandoned ever since. As a result, there was nobody to complain when the dragon moved in…and even if there had been, it wouldn't really have done much good, now would it?"

"I don't suppose this warlord had a jewel like the one we described to you?" Ash asked.

The Mayor shrugged. "Like I said, it doesn't ring a bell, but I suppose it's possible. If he did, though, the gem would be in the dragon's possession. Good luck taking it away, dragons are notoriously protective of their treasure."

Ash grimaced. "Yeah, we learned that the hard way…"

Pikachu rolled his eyes. "I _told _you not to take that shiny gold nugget from the pile that Salamence was sleeping on, but no, you just _had_ to have it."

"I didn't think he'd miss it," Ash protested defensively. "He had so many already."

"Well, clearly he did, seeing as how he chased us all the way out of Wyvern Hill," Pikachu grumbled.

"So anyway, we need to go to the castle?" Ash asked.

The Mayor nodded. "Yes, but it's not as simple as that."

"When is it ever?" the Lucario grumbled.

"The castle is surrounded by an impassable moat which can only be crossed by two methods: flight, and the drawbridge. Since you can't fly, you'll need to use the drawbridge, but to do that you will require two keys, both of which are located in the ruins of one of the warlord's old outposts to the east of here," the Mayor said.

"What are they doing there?" asked Pikachu.

"The dragon put them there as a test to those who would challenge it, a way to weed out the weaklings from the worthy," the Torterra explained. "For you see, the outpost is home to a powerful demon, and only by besting the horror at its own game and taking the keys it has been instructed to guard can you enter the castle."

Ash and Pikachu started at this news. "A demon?!" Pikachu cried, his hand instinctively reaching for his sword.

"As in, one from the Abyss?! What's it doing here?!" Ash demanded.

"It somehow managed to escape from its prison, or was summoned, and managed to wreak havoc across Sinorre for a while until an Aura Guardian and some of our ancestors were able to seal it within the outpost ruins," the Torterra explained. "It cannot leave the confines of its jail, but anyone who enters its domain is at risk of losing their lives to the abomination's twisted games."

"How did it get the keys?" Pikachu asked.

"The dragon gave them to it. The two evil creatures made a deal, that the dragon would arrange for all sorts of travelers and adventurers to enter the demon's lair for the darkling to play with, and if they by some chance managed to defeat the monstrosity and take the keys, the demon would allow them to leave and go to the dragon's castle, where they would summarily be eaten," the Mayor told them. "The dragon would then remove the keys from the drawbridge operating mechanism and return them to the demon, until the next bunch of adventurers came around to try and slay it."

"Sounds like they've got a pretty good thing going for them…" Ash said darkly.

Pikachu nodded seriously. "What kind of demon is it? What exactly will we have to do to get the keys from it?"

"To be honest, I'm not entirely sure," the Mayor admitted. "Nobody in recent memory has seen the demon and lived to tell us about it. Any adventurers who manage to defeat the fiend either head straight for the dragon's castle or are so traumatized by their experience that when they come back to town to rest for their next battle, they refuse to tell us what occurred. The little that I do know is taken from apocryphal records left by our ancestors and little comments that Nurse Joy hears when the successful adventurers scream in their nightmares. The fiend, while possessing some power, is not especially high-ranking in the infernal hierarchies, hence why he's sealed in an old outpost rather than somewhere more…well, secure. His power lies in riddles and games, so it is assumed that any battle against him would be one of wits rather than physical prowess. His form is also supposed to be a mockery of the Holy Mother…whatever that means."

"What _does_ that mean?" Ash asked his brother.

Pikachu frowned in thought. "The majority of the demons in the Abyss are monsters, war criminals, and evil beings who were imprisoned there by the holy Guardians and the armies of the Celestial Heavens after the forces of good won the Crisis Wars. It is said that some of them take on twisted forms of their captors and ancient rivals as a way to ridicule their old enemies and essentially flick off Arceus."

"Ah," said Ash.

"I'm surprised that a low-level demon would be allowed to get away with looking like Mew, though," Pikachu continued. "I would have thought that if Arceus didn't smite him for that indignity, a higher-ranked demon would punish him and take that form for itself."

The Mayor shrugged. "I only know what I've heard. We're not exactly experts on demonology here."

"Neither are we." Ash sighed unhappily. "And it's a riddling demon, too? Crap, I suck at thinking games like that."

"I'm not the best at those, either," Pikachu admitted. "Are you certain that's the only way we can get into the castle, sir?"

"Not unless you can fly," the Torterra said wryly. "Or if you're clever enough to figure out a different way. One rather inventive Girafarig managed to rig up a catapult to launch herself across the moat and over the castle walls."

"How'd that work out?" Ash asked.

"Pretty well. It launched her across the moat, over the wall, and right into the dragon's jaws," the Mayor said. Ash and Pikachu sweatdropped.

Pikachu sighed. "Guess we're going after the demon, then…"

"At least we have a double advantage," Ash said reassuringly. "You have a sacred sword, and I can use Aura. The demon shouldn't be able to stand up to that, can it?"

"A sacred sword, huh? Hmm…if you were a full-fledged Aura Guardian, I'd feel more confident in you two, but…perhaps, just perhaps, you have a chance," the Mayor said, appraising the duo thoughtfully. "Still, I'm not going to get my hopes up. Not because I don't have faith in you, just because…well, we've learned by now that sometimes having too much hope can be a bad thing. We've faced a lot of disappointments, you see."

The brothers nodded. "We understand," said Pikachu.

"And we'll do our best not to wind up disappointing you like all the others did," Ash promised.

The Mayor found himself smiling slightly. "See that you don't. Now, I suppose you'll be wondering where exactly that outpost is…"

None of the trio in the garden office was aware that there had been someone at the nearby window eavesdropping on their entire conversation. He slid down the external wall and sat on his tail beneath the windowsill. "Oh man," he whispered to himself. "A samurai and an Aura Guardian?! That is _so_ cool! They might actually be the ones to save us! But…" He frowned. "I don't know if they'll be able to defeat that demon on their own. They're gonna need my help. Maybe…yes. Maybe it's finally time to become a hero."

…

After making a brief stop at the Pokemon Center to get checked up and going to the local branch of the Kecleon Bros. (only to find the shop was closed until people started paying with cash again), Ash and Pikachu headed for the eastern exit from town. A few curious turtles showed up to wish them good luck, but not very many, and they seemed sort of lackluster about it. They had wished so many other heroes luck and all of them had failed. They had no reason to believe that these two would be any different.

Trying not to be too demoralized by this, Ash and Pikachu were just about to walk out into Green Meadow when someone shouted, "Umm... Excuse me! Err... I beg your pardon! Wait a moment, PLEASE!! WAAAAAIIIIIIT!"

Surprised, they turned around as a rather frantic (and somewhat chubby) Squirtle wearing a pair of thick eyeglasses ran towards them. He almost tripped, but kept on going. "Don't…go…yet! I need…to talk…to you!" He came to a stop before them, huffing and puffing and red in the face.

Ash and Pikachu exchanged puzzled looks. "Uh, okay," Ash said. "We're listening. What is it?"

The Squirtle was unable to answer, since he was gasping for breath, his hands on his knees. Wheezing, he held up one finger to indicate they should give him a minute, then retracted one arm into his shell and came back out with an inhaler, which he promptly breathed in. After a few seconds of inhalation, he seemed to recover, and put the device back in his shell. "Sorry. Not used to running," he apologized to the duo.

"Right…" Pikachu said slowly. "So…you wanted to talk to us about something?"

"Huh? Oh, right!" the Squirtle said. He straightened. "Sorry for yelling like that…I was panicking. Um…how to begin?" He hesitated. He started to look somewhat nervous. "M-My name's...Leonardo. I heard you're traveling to the evil dragon's castle. So, anyway, I, uh... I have a favor to ask."

He took a deep breath. Ash and Pikachu waited patiently. Leonardo turned red, started sweating, and got all fidgety. "..." He swallowed and started trembling all over. "Well... Ummmm... Oh, just... Just forget it. Never mind. Ignore me. Good... Good-bye." He ran away as fast as he could, only to slow down, gasping for breath, less than a block away. Glancing anxiously over his shoulder at the duo, he yelped and jumped into a nearby bush. The Wartortle who had been watering the bush gave him a puzzled look, as did Ash and Pikachu. He did not come out.

"Ooooookay…" Ash said slowly. "What the heck was that about?"

"I have no idea," Pikachu said. "Do you suppose it was important?"

"Well, seeing as how he just ran off like that, it's doubtful," Ash reasoned. "He probably just wanted our autographs. You know, since we're going to save the town and all."

Pikachu frowned. "Hmm. Maybe." He didn't sound convinced, but didn't focus on it for long. "Well, I suppose we should get going, then. We have a demon to fight, after all."

Ash sighed unhappily. "One with games, too…wonderful." They left town.

…

In the bush, Leo was cursing and beating himself up. "Geez! What the heck was that?! I TOTALLY flipped out! Ugh, now they're gonna think I'm a total spazz or something…not cool, man, not cool!"

"Leonardo, is there some reason you're talking to yourself in my bush?" asked the very confused Wartortle who had been watering it.

"Huh? Oh, it's nothing Mrs. Watercress, I'm just having a nervous breakdown," Leonardo explained.

"Oh, all right then," Mrs. Watercress said, moving on to a different bush. "Let me know when you're done having it, my garden needs to be cared for."

"Yes ma'am." Once she was gone, Leonardo went back to his personal crisis. "I cannot believe myself! That was my first real chance, maybe my ONLY chance, to take my first step towards becoming a true hero and saving the town, and I BLEW it! Shit!" He banged his head against a rock a few times until he got dizzy. "Oh well, I'd probably have just slowed them down anyway…" he muttered, sinking into a green funk. (It would have been blue, but he _was_ in a bush) "I mean, look at them; a totally kickass Pikachu samurai with an honest-to-goodness magic sword and an awesomely cool-looking Lucario Aura Guardian! What would I bring to the team? They couldn't possibly use my help…I mean, I'm just a pudgy ubernerd with bad eyesight who's never fought a battle in his life outside of video games…I'm totally useless…nowhere near the warrior Dad was…"

He sat there for a few minutes, feeling profoundly sorry for himself. But after a little while, he got tired of this, frowned, and drew himself back up. "No! What am I saying? I can't give up as easy as that…after all, 'a hero never quits!' And if I want to be a real hero, I can't let a little thing like losing my nerve or going totally fanboy get in my way of doing the right thing! I'm gonna go after them and help them beat that demon and get rid of the dragon that's oppressing all us turtles! I can do it!"

"That's nice, dear," said Mrs. Watercress. "Could you get out of that bush now and do that somewhere else?"

"Yes Mrs. Watercress," Leonardo said, getting out of the bush so that she could spray it with her Water Gun. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off! My hero's journey has just begun!" He ran off after Ash and Pikachu. After a few minutes, exhausted, he slowed down to pursue them at a gradual crawl. "Dude…I am _so_ out of shape," he complained, wiping away some sweat and chugging a soft drink he had pulled out of his shell.

Mrs. Watercress shook her head in bewilderment at the worn-out Leonardo, who was only a few yards away from the edge of town. "Such an odd boy," she muttered under her breath, before finishing her watering and grabbing some clippers to trim her prized ten-foot tall Gastrodon-shaped hedge. "Certainly nothing like his father!"

"I heard that," Leonardo cried weakly from where he was standing.

"I know, dear," said Mrs. Watercress as she snapped off a rather large and twisted twig from the side of the hedge with her clippers.

Leonardo rolled his eyes and very slowly trudged off after Ash and Pikachu. "I gotta get out of this town…" he muttered to himself.

…

Meanwhile, in Kanjohenn…

Even though he had been living in the mountainside cave for the last few years, it seemed almost unfamiliar to him when he entered, despite the fact that it was exactly the same as it had been the last time he was there. He had used it so little, that it was more like a brief resting place than a home to him.

It was incredibly bare, just as he had left it. There were only four things in the small stone chamber, the only things he had to his name. There was an incredibly thin sleeping pallet about as hard as rock and more spartan than the Spartans which he only rarely used because his training had progressed to the point where he only required one hour of sleep every one hundred weeks. A wooden scepter with a large crystal on the tip encircled by a metal ring with a pair of weights dangling from the sides leaned against the wall, a dark blue wide-rimmed hat with a strange symbol on the hatband hanging from the top. A small weathered photograph in a silver frame hung on the wall over the pallet. These were all the things the cave's occupant possessed, and they were all he needed, for he had forsaken material possessions long ago.

He pressed a paw over the photograph, his eyes closed in memory underneath his blindfold. "It's been a long time," he said roughly, still getting used to the sound of his own voice after so many months of silence.

He took the picture off the wall and tucked it under one arm. He lifted the hat off the scepter and put it over his head, then grabbed the scepter with his free hand. "It's time to go home."  
He left the cave. He did not look back.

…

At the same time, in Pokemon Square…

"Well, looks like you've got a clean bill of health," Nurse Joy said, glancing up from her datapad to give a warm smile to the nervous-looking Rattata lying on the bed before her. "You're one-hundred percent cured! Every bone in your body is fixed up, good as new!"

"D-does that mean I have to leave?" Matthias Shorttail asked anxiously. While he was slowly getting used to the idea of life in the civilization contained within the walls of Pokemon Square, he wasn't certain he was ready to leave the (mostly) safe interior of Nurse Joy's Pokemon Center and step out into the strange new world surrounding him.

"I'm afraid so. Only sick people can stay here long term, and we don't have many of those!" Joy said with a sweet laugh.

One of Joy's Happiny children nodded in agreement. "Yep, that's because my mommy's the bestest doctor in the whole wide world!"

Matthias didn't know many doctors, but from his limited experience he thought the Happiny was right. All the more reason _not_ to leave the big pink Blissey's capable care. "But I don't know anybody out there! Who will keep me safe from predators and the like?" he whimpered.

Nurse Joy laughed. "Don't be afraid, we don't have any predators here!"

Matthias gave her an incredulous look. "No…there are PIDGEOT out there! Pidgeot EAT little guys like me!"

"Not in Pokemon Square they don't," the Happiny said.

Matthias blinked. "They…don't? Then what do they eat?"

"Vitamin supplements," said Joy. "Synthesized meat. Grubs. Berries. Bark."

"Bark?!" asked the dumbfounded Matthias.

Joy nodded. "Yes, the bark on the trees here is genetically engineered to contain all sorts of nutrients and taste like the sort of food most of the Pokemon who are naturally meat-eaters would hunt in the wild."

Matthias had no idea what 'genetically engineered' meant, but the concept of magical trees that tasted like just about anything did not escape him. "This truly is a land of wonders…" he whispered, eyes wide in awe. He trembled and shrunk in on himself. "But who will explain all those wonders to me? I can't face it all on my own…"

"You won't have to," Joy assured him. "One of our town's most prominent families has offered to take you in, give you shelter, and help you acclimate to life here."

"Oh," Matthias said, calming down. "That sounds all right. Which family?"

"The Thunderblades," Joy said, opening the door to reveal the most terrifying Raichu Matthias had ever seen, his grizzled form covered in scars from countless battles, his face twisted into a mask of hatred and disgust, wielding a terrifyingly sharp katana in one hand. Poor Matthias screamed at the top of his lungs and fainted dead away.

"Oh dear," said the alarmed Joy.

"Whoops, didn't mean to scare the little guy," Raiki said, finishing his yawn.

"Why is your sword out?" asked Happiny.

"I had an itch on my back I couldn't scratch, so I used my sword," the warrior explained.

"Why didn't you use your tail for that?" the Happiny asked.

Raiki blinked and looked at his tail. "Huh. Never thought of that." All sweatdropped.

"Matthias is okay, he was just shocked," Nurse Joy said after examining the Rattata.

Raiki shook his head. "He'll have to get used to that if he's going to live in our house!"

"Are you sure you want to adopt him?" Joy asked the old samurai. "You already have three sons, and a fourth child coming along."

"Nah, it's fine," Raiki assured her. "The missus and I want a big family! Besides, now that Pikachu and Ash are out of the house, we need a new big brother to play with Pichu and keep him occupied so he doesn't destroy the house. I think this new guy will do." Raiki lifted Matthias off the bed and slung him over his shoulder. "Come on new son, let's go home, your new mother's making dinner, and I don't want to miss it!" He left, the Rattata's face lolling against the Raichu's back as he went.

"He'll be back here within the week, won't he?" the Happiny asked her mother.

Joy nodded. "Probably." She checked the clock. "Now, if you'll excuse me, honey, I must be off, I have a date with Bruce in a few minutes."

The Happiny rolled her eyes. "I really don't get what you see in that guy."

Joy giggled. "He's such a charmer…and besides, I only use him for the sex. And I've been thinking about getting pregnant again. We could use another little one to help out around the Center."

The Happiny grimaced. "Mom, don't I have enough sisters _already?_"

"You can never have too much Joy in the world, dear," Joy said sternly. Happiny facefaulted at the horrible pun.

…

And that's that! Short chapter, I know, but I covered all the important stuff, didn't I?

Matthias has a new home, the mysterious mystery Pokemon is on the move, and Ash and Pikachu have a new ally…or not. Find out more next time, as our intrepid heroes battle the evil demon! That should be a fight to see, don't you think?


	10. Dungeons and Dorks

And now, the clash you've been waiting for! Team Aurabolt versus…some random demon. Now that I think about it, it's not that epic a battle, is it?

OR IS IT?

No, it's probably not.

…

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters and concepts that don't belong to me. The demon, though? Oh, HELL YEAH.

As for the demon's game…well, I've never actually played it myself, but I've heard a lot about it and done some research, and, since this is fiction, made up a ton of stuff. So anyone who's familiar with it, remember that it's just a parody and I mean no offense.

…

"So…this is the place?" Ash asked dubiously.

"I suppose so," said Pikachu.

"Doesn't look like much," Ash grunted.

"Well, it _is_ a ruined outpost," Pikachu pointed out.

"I didn't think it'd be this ruined," Ash complained. Pikachu rolled his eyes.

After about an hour or so of walking, they had reached the outpost that was said to be the demon's lair. And Ash was right, it didn't look like much. At one point in the distant past it might have been an imposing fortress, but now it was a dilapidated tower with broken and crumbling outer walls scattered all over the place, broken stones and bricks lying everywhere, eroded away by rain, wind, and time. A dirt path made by hundreds of feet trampling the grass over the years wound its way through the debris, past tarnished armor and bleached bones, stopping at the base of a rather rough and uneven set of stone stairs leading to the tower entrance, although it looked less like a doorway and more like a gash someone or something had torn in the side of the broken edifice. The ruins were very still and very silent, and nothing stirred, not a bug or a blade of grass or even the wind.

"The demon's in the tower, I take it," Ash said.

"Probably," Pikachu agreed.

"That thing looks like it'll fall on us the instant we step inside," Ash grumbled.

"If it's been standing for this long, it probably will stay up a while longer," Pikachu said reasonably. He glanced at his friend. "Get anything on this place's Aura?"

"I've almost been afraid to look," Ash admitted. Even so, he closed his eyes. He grimaced for a moment, and then opened them quickly. "Ugh."

"Well?" Pikachu asked.

"There's definitely an evil presence here," Ash said. "The Aura of this place is twisted and dark in a way unlike anything I've ever seen before…except for Treasure Town."

Pikachu looked at Ash sharply. "Treasure Town?! Do you think this thing's connected to the door?!"

"I'm not sure," Ash admitted. "The Aura here is hostile, oppressive, evil, but…not quite in the same way as Treasure Town. The Mayor said the demon here was low-ranking, so it must not be as powerful as whatever that door is."

"But the fact that one should make you think of the other is troubling…" Pikachu murmured. "Could that doorway be an artifact of the Abyss?"

"I don't know," said Ash with a shrug. "You'd have to ask a priest like Father Yamiri. Or maybe Professor Oak? He might know…"

Pikachu nodded in agreement. "We'll broach that possibility to him when we get back to Sharpedo Cape."

"So," Ash said, getting back on subject. "We go in there?"

"Probably," said Pikachu.

"Wonderful," Ash grumbled.

They walked up the trail, climbed the stairs, and entered the ruined tower. It was very dark inside. Even though the duo had seen other gaps in the walls of the structure from outside, no external light illuminated the tower's innards. Even the light from their entrance didn't penetrate very far. The hairs on the backs of their necks rose, and they got the feeling that they were not alone.

Before Ash could use Aura-sight or Pikachu could get out a Luminous Orb, a deep malevolent voice boomed, "WHO DARES TO ENTER MY DOMAIN?"

"Ash and Pikachu of Team Aurabolt!" Ash replied.

"Ash, never give demons your real name!" Pikachu hissed. "They can use it against you!"

"Oh, sorry," Ash said sheepishly. "You're not worried about me giving it your name?"

"Pikachu isn't my real name, remember? My parents chose my true name at birth but haven't given it to me yet," Pikachu reminded Ash.

"Oh, right." Ash sulked. "So now I'm in trouble again. Great."

"WHY HAVE YOU COME HERE?" the evil voice boomed again.

"We seek the drawbridge keys to the dragon's castle, so that we can enter the fortress, slay the beast, and save Turtle Town!" Pikachu replied.

"Yeah, that's what I figured," the voice said, now much softer, less booming, and sounding…geekier? Still malevolent, though. "Geez, every time it's the same old story. Nobody ever wants to come by and visit or chat or even just play a friendly little game, no, it's always, 'we must get the keys to kill the dragon!' Dark Lord, how unoriginal. Doesn't anyone have any other motivation anymore?"

Ash and Pikachu blinked and exchanged glances. "Well, you're sort of an evil demon who kills people," Ash said slowly. "That's not exactly a reason for most people to go out of their way to visit you."

"Bah. You mortals are way too attached to life," the evil demon groused petulantly. "Hang on, let me turn the lights on, if we're gonna play a game we might as well be able to see each other…"

There was a click, and suddenly the darkness filling the tower was banished by several glowing orbs fastened to the walls. Ash and Pikachu suddenly found themselves face-to-face with a dread demon, spawn of the Abyss, evil incarnate.

He wasn't what they had expected. The abomination was about a foot tall, about the same height as Pikachu, and looked almost exactly like the statues and paintings of Mew Ash had seen in Father Yamiri's temple and in some shrines dotted all over Kanjohenn, except that its fur was white, it had a red nose like a clown's, purple bat wings grew from its back, its ears were longer and thinner, and an antenna ending in a big red ball or pompom grew from the top of its head. "Yo," said the demon. "What up?"

Ash and Pikachu stared at him. Pikachu made the sign of the Holy Wheel across his chest, stunned by the rather shocking blasphemy represented by the creature standing before him. "I thought he would be taller," Ash said after a moment.

"Yeah, that's what they all say," the demon that was not Mew grunted. "I USED to be taller, too, and an Abyssuvalot stronger, until those stinking turtles and that Aura Guardian sealed me in here—" He paused, staring at the duo in surprise. "You two look familiar. Have we met before?" He frowned. "Are you an Aura Guardian?"

"Uh, no," Ash said quickly, which was true. He wasn't one, not yet, anyway. "And I don't think we've met before."

"I certainly hope not," Pikachu said, fur bristling, one hand on his sword hilt.

The demon shook his head stubbornly. "No, no, I'm sure of it, we've met SOMEWHERE before, I never forget a soul…hmm, must have been in a past life."

Ash blinked. "Past life?"

The demon nodded. "Yeah, didn't you know? They recycle souls rather than minting new ones, the cheapskates. After you die and get to prance about all willy-nilly like a happy-go-lucky doof for a while in the Celestial Heavens, the Higher Ups shove you back into the hard, cruel living world so some other undeserving stiff can take your place."

"I wouldn't say it works like that," Pikachu said coolly.

The demon barked with laughter. "Yeah, you wouldn't…anyway, if we did meet before, it must've been a loooooooong time ago, if not even I can remember it very well…and trust me, I've been around a while." He grinned sinisterly, showing disgustingly rotted black fangs. "Demons aren't exactly in the habit of making new things either, since there's only so much material to work with in the Abyss. The Guardians coulda given us a little more when they sealed us away for eternity, but nooooo…not even a decent pack of cards, I'm telling you. Cheapskates."

"You deserved whatever you got," Pikachu said, tightening his grip on Thunderfang.

The demon bared its fangs at Pikachu. "Yeah, you just keep telling yourself that, Short Stuff. Does it help you sleep better at night?"

"Uh…I have no idea what you guys are talking about…" said the very confused Ash.

"Most of the demons in the Abyss are criminals and monsters that were imprisoned there after the Crisis Wars," Pikachu explained, not taking his eyes off the demon or his hand off his sword. "That this creature was condemned there indicates he is one of the foulest beings in existence."

The demon chuckled. "Got that right, kid."

"Oh," said Ash. "Then what're you doing here?"

The demon rolled its eyes. "I escaped, obviously. Then I wound up in this dump. The Abyss was paradise compared to this shithole…at least there I could have some fun. And I didn't have to go such long stretches of time without playing a game with someone and torturing their souls." He grunted and crossed his arms over his chest. "So, we gonna do this or what?"

"Let's," said Pikachu, drawing his sword. Ash automatically started channeling Aura to his hands.

"Whoa-whoa-whoa! Hold up a sec! I never said anything about fighting!" the demon protested, looking alarmed. "This is my house, and here we play by my rules, and the rules say anything important has to be resolved by a game!"

Ash and Pikachu paused. "What kind of game?" asked a suspicious Ash.

The demon rolled his eyes. "The kind that doesn't require you to take off an innocent demon's head with a holy sword! Sheesh, what IS it with adventurers these days? Can't you ever resolve anything by sitting down, chatting, maybe playing a few rounds of cards and dice? Dark Lord, you mortals are slow…" Ash and Pikachu exchanged puzzled glances. The demon frowned at them. "Yeah, anyway, you want the drawbridge keys, and to leave here alive, you gotta beat me in a game of my choosing. Win, you're free to go and get eaten by my pal the dragon. Lose…well, let's just say you won't have to worry about the dragon, or anything else, ever again."

Ash frowned. "And exactly what game is this?"

The demon grinned sinisterly. "Oh, trust me when I say it'll be the best game you've ever played. In fact, you could even say it's one…to _die_ for. Heheheheh. Ahahahaha! Muhahahahaha! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" He threw back his head and let loose a deep, bellowing, evil cackle.

Ash and Pikachu stared at him. "Not to make an equally bad pun, but that joke's sort of been done to death," Pikachu said after a moment.

The demon glared at him. "Bite me, rodent." He broke into another evil grin. "Anyway, without further ado…let the GAMES BEGIN!"

…

"The chainsaw-wielding clown zombie swings its snarling blade at your head, giggling ghoulishly the whole time!" the demon, (whose name, it turned out, was Mewgle) cried.

"I duck, and counter with a Force Palm to the chest!" Ash replied.

"You have to roll first," Pikachu reminded him.

"Huh? Oh, fine…." Ash grumbled. He rolled the pair of twelve-sided die Mewgle had given him (carved from the bones of previous victims, while still alive). They bounced on the surface of the table they were playing around and the paper map Mewgle had laid out on it and landed with a favorable set of digits face-up. "I connect!"

"The clown zombie screams in agony as your Aura bolt tears through his flesh like a fist through wet tissue paper. He convulses and wails and groans as he collapses to the floor, wriggling in his death throes as the unlife leaks out of him-" Mewgle intoned.

"Do you have to do that every time we kill something?" Pikachu interrupted. "It's getting kind of annoying."

Mewgle glared at him. "Well, _excuse_ _me_ for trying to make the game more interesting. Oh, and by the way, a zombie is about to decapitate you from behind."

Pikachu rolled his dice. "I sense him coming at me thrust my sword through his chest without looking, sending several thousand volts of lethal electricity coursing through his dead flesh."

"The zombie writhes, shrieking like the damned as your deadly voltage ravages his body-" Mewgle started.

"Cut it out!" Ash snapped.

Mewgle glared at him. "Gawd, fine. And I thought _I_ was the dungeon master here."

The game Mewgle had proposed was not one Ash and Pikachu had expected, or were very familiar with. Pikachu had expected a contest of riddles or perhaps physical prowess, while Ash had been hoping they'd play some kind of board game like the ones Pichu had at home which they always let the little mouse win because he'd electrify them otherwise. (Maybe then he would finally become the champion of Candlyand!) However, Mewgle had proclaimed, since his video game system was broken due to some idiot adventurer smashing it (which resulted in Mewgle drawing out his death for years before finally devouring his soul), they would play a tabletop RPG called Dungeons and Dragonites instead. Neither member of Team Aurabolt completely understood the rules—no surprise, since the rulebooks Mewgle carted out for them to look at were each about the size of a phonebook and twice as thick, with _really_ tiny print (good pictures, though)—or got why exactly why they had to roll dice to do just about _everything_, from attacking to defending to evading to using items, but Mewgle had promised not to cheat ("I can't, sad to say," he had told them regretfully. "It's the rules of my imprisonment."), so they had no choice but to go along with it.

"Are all the zombies dead?" Ash asked. "Again, I mean."

Mewgle glanced at the carefully drawn map of the elaborate dungeon he had crafted which was sprawled out on the table before him. All of the exquisitely handcrafted minifigures he had made of the chainsaw-wielding zombie clowns had been knocked over, and the rather crude and unimpressive figurines of Ash and Pikachu were still standing. "Looks that way."

"Good," Ash said, rolling his dice and then grabbing his figure and pushing it forward, towards the incredibly elaborate figurine of a monstrous demon sitting in a massive throne which only vaguely resembled Mewgle sitting at the far end of the hall on the dungeon map they were in. "Then I advance forward to attack Supreme Overlord Mewgle, Emperor of Evil, King of Darkness, Master of Games, Ruler of RPGs, and undisputed Champion of DDR—do I really have to say that full title every time?"

"Yes," Mewgle said.

Ash rolled his eyes. "Right, well, I move forward to attack him directly."

"Aren't you going to loot the zombie's corpses?" Mewgle asked.

Ash stared at him blankly. "Why would I want to do that? They're all gross and slimy and stuff. And what sorts of things would a zombie clown be carrying anyway?"

"Other than the chainsaws," Pikachu said. "Or maybe their red noses."

Mewgle sighed. "The two of you have never played an RPG before, have you?"

"No," they both said.

"I don't even know what it stands for," Ash admitted.

Mewgle shook his head in frustration. "Whatever. Anyway, you only make it five steps before activating a trap!"

"What, another one?!" Ash protested incredulously. "You've already made us trigger five dozen of those! And I thought I already used a Trapburst Orb to disarm all the ones left in the dungeon!"

"Those only work on mechanical and magical traps, not on ones which cause monsters to attack you," Mewgle corrected Ash.

"What? That's not true, I've disarmed those too, lots of times!" Ash pointed out.

"Yes…in real life. Trapburst Orbs don't work like that in the game," Mewgle explained.

Ash groaned and put his face in his hands. "This is so stupid…"

"So, what's going to attack us now?" Pikachu asked wearily.

"An Acidic Slime drops from the ceiling onto Ash's head!" Mewgle proclaimed.

"Why is it always me?" Ash complained.

"What was it doing on the ceiling?" Pikachu asked.

"Waiting to drop down on prey, of course." Mewgle giggled to himself. "Nobody _ever_ thinks to check the ceiling!"

"That's actually a good point. We should remember to do that in the future," Pikachu said to Ash. "We might avoid fewer ambushes that way."

"We will, assuming we're not eaten by the acidic slime," Ash said. He frowned. "What the heck is an acidic slime, anyway?"

"It's a horrible, fetid growth, resembling a bright green, sticky, wet moss which grows on the walls and ceilings of caves, sewers, dungeons, mines, and the like," Mewgle explained. "They feed on living things by dropping drown and enveloping them in its bulk, then dissolving them inside its body until the flesh and bones and muscles are a liquefied ooze which the monster can absorb into its own bulk. They are mindless and cannot speak. Vast colonies of them are said to exist deep beneath the earth."

"Ew," said a disgusted Ash.

"So it's like a Muk, then?" Pikachu guessed.

"Only stupider," Ash said. "Though not by much. And green."

Mewgle nodded in agreement. "Sounds about right."

"I roll out of the way in the nick of time!" Ash said.

"Roll," Mewgle reminded him.

"I just did," said the confused Ash.

"I meant the dice. You need to roll them if you're trying to evade," Mewgle explained.

Ash sighed. "Fine." He rolled his dice, checked them, and then once again said, "I roll out of the way in the nick of time." He moved his figurine, allowing Mewgle to set one down that looked like a grotesque green amorphous horror in its place.

"I fire a Thunderbolt at the creature," Pikachu said, after rolling his dice, checking his character sheet, and doing some calculations as to how much damage his attack might cause the creature. Also because he didn't think there'd be much point in piercing a slime monster with a sword, since it didn't have any internal organs.

"Darn, you killed it," Mewgle whined. "How'd you know it was weak to light and heat and stuff?"

Pikachu shrugged. "Well, it _is_ a creature that lives in dark, damp places."

"Aww, I didn't even get to fight. No fair!" Ash complained. "Now he gets all the EXP!"

"Don't worry, you'll get plenty if you can defeat my next monster…which you can't!" Mewgle said evilly. He laughed malevolently again.

"That's what you said about the zombie clowns," Ash pointed out.

"And the Thing That Should Not Be But Is For Some Reason," Pikachu added.

"Or the Troll Mage," said Ash.

"Or the Spiderwitch," said Pikachu.

"Or the school of rabid four-legged Magikarp," said Ash.

"Or the horde of drunken debaucherous flatulent orcs with-" Pikachu started.

"Okay, okay, I get it!" Mewgle snapped. "But trust me, this one's _really_ invincible!"

"We'll see about that," Ash said skeptically. He rolled his dice, then moved his figure. "I advance towards Supreme Overlord Mewgle, Emperor of Evil, King of Darkness, Master of Games, Ruler of RPGs, and undisputed Champion of DDR…while looking at the ceiling, and checking all around me for traps."

"Nice," Mewgle said grudgingly.

"As do I," Pikachu said, moving his figure after making a movement roll.

Mewgle grinned, displaying his disgusting teeth. "You find yourself at the foot of the pedestal upon which the horned throne of Supreme Overlord Mewgle, Emperor of Evil, King of Darkness, Master of Games, Ruler of RPGs, and undisputed Champion of DDR, rests. The demon king himself sits imposingly in his chair, his shadow falling across you and causing the temperature of the room to drop by several degrees. You tremble in fear at the sheer horror of this absolute monarch, at the width of his wingspan, at the size of his muscles and claws, at the burning crown floating over his head with an antenna ending in a spiked ball going through it, at his pristine bone-white fur and enormous-"

"That doesn't sound too frightening," said Ash.

Mewgle glared at him. "Yes it is! You're scared! Intimidated beyond belief! It's the most frightening thing you've ever seen!"

"No it isn't," Ash snorted.

Pikachu nodded in agreement. "He's right, we've seen much worse. Like the raging Continent Pokemon Groudon, rising from his millennia of slumber in a wave of fire and magma to destroy the world."

"Or an army of barbarians armed to the teeth marching towards Pokemon Square, numbeirng in the hundreds," said Ash. "With only a few teams standing in their way."

"Or some of the ridiculously huge 'monster house' ambush groups we've run into in some of the dungeons we've beaten. REAL dungeons, at that," Pikachu added pointedly.

"Not to mention-" Ash had been about to mention the door under Treasure Town, which he honestly thought was the most disturbing and terrifying thing he'd ever seen, but then though better of revealing its existence to the demon. Instead, he said, "Misty when she wakes up on the wrong side of the bed and finds that her idiot sisters have stolen or broken one of her things again."

Pikachu shuddered. "You're right, that _is_ terrifying."

Mewgle's eye twitched. "Fine, you're hardened and seasoned warriors, I get it. Dumbasses…anyway, Supreme Overlord Mewgle, Emperor of Evil, King of Darkness, Master of Games, Ruler of RPGs, and undisputed Champion of DDR, laughs at you upon seeing your scrawny forms."

"Hey! We aren't scrawny!" Ash cried, insulted.

"Compared to him, you are," Mewgle countered. "Laughing at your impetuousness and brashness, the demon lord shouts, "FOOLISH MORTALS! YOU HAVE MADE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF YOUR LIVES BY COMING HERE AND INCITING THE WRATH OF Supreme Overlord Mewgle, Emperor of Evil, King of Darkness, Master of Games, Ruler of RPGs, and undisputed Champion of DDR! GWAHAHAHAHAFUFUFUFUFUFU!"

"What kind of evil laugh is that?" Pikachu scoffed.

"A good one!" Mewgle said defensively. "'I SHALL USE YOUR BONES AS TOOTHPICKS AND YOUR SOULS AS CANDY AFTER MY ULTIMATE TARRASQUE IS THROUGH WITH YOU!'"

"Your what?" asked a confused Ash.

"My ULTIMATE TARRASQUE!" Mewgle shouted triumphantly, slamming down a rather large hand-carved minifigure of a truly horrendous beast on the table and making Ash and Pikachu jump. "The palace shakes, and the floor buckles as an absolutely ENORMOUS beast bursts out from below and emerges into the room! One hundred feet tall and one hundred seventy feet long, like a T-rex in form but broaded and more muscular, with a different-shaped head (sixty of them, actually) and larger, more useful front arms! (Six of them, to be precise) It is brown in color, with scabs and warts and bits of encrusted dung and bones and blood and squished bodies from former victims caked onto its incredibly thick skin. A huge glossy blood-red shell of serrated plates covers its back and tail, with enormous spikes and segmented insect-like appendages jutting out from its surface. More spikes grow from its chin, the sides of its mouth, the underside of its neck, the elbows of its upper front arms, its underbelly, its tail, and its crotch. Ten horns grow outward from the back of its head, like some kind of demonic crown. Three hundred and sixty eyes glowing with hunger and a mindless, destructive wrath stare at you from the sides of its enormous wedge-shaped heads, and forked tongues lick all two hundred forty of its lipless mouths and millions of yellow, unwashed fangs in anticipation of the feast to come. It roars, showering you with spittle and unimaginably foul breath. It is the Ultimate Tarrasque!" He glanced at the duo in surprise. "You didn't interrupt me once. I'm impressed."

"Hmm? Wasn't paying attention," Ash said, scratching himself. Mewgle facefaulted.

"Its breath can't be that bad," Pikachu murmured, eyeing the slightly intimidating figurine warily. "Not compared to Treasure Town, anyway…"

"Did you mention a crotch at some point?" Ash asked Mewgle, who facefaulted again.

"Okay, if the two of you would stop acting like IDIOTS and realize this is one of the most powerful and indestructible monsters in the entire game, and if it kills you I win and you die for real…" Mewgle growled.

At that, both Ash and Pikachu focused their attentions on the demon again. "Right. Ultimate Tarrasque. Let's kill it," Ash said.

Mewgle snickered. "You can _try_…"

"I fire an Aura Sphere at the monster's eyes!" Ash said. He rolled his dice, smirked as he saw he got a good number, and pointed at the monster minifigure. "It's a direct hit!"

"Which does .0000000001 damage," Mewgle said.

Ash gaped. "Huh? How is that possible?!"

"Tarrasques generally have incredibly strong defense. Not to mention they possess RIDICULOUSLY powerful regenerative abilities," Mewgle explained. "Plus, your attack is pretty weak compared to this thing's level. It didn't even scratch it! What little effect your Sphere had is nullified almost as once due to the monster's healing powers!"

"What?! That's not fair!" Ash protested.

"It's totally fair. See, it's in the rules," Mewgle said, handing Ash one of his enormous rulebooks. Frowning, Ash opened the book and started searching for a loophole on the page Mewgle pointed out to him, squinting as he looked at the tiny print.

"I stab the beast in the shin with my sword Thunderfang. That should do some damage!" Pikachu said confidently.

"Actually, your blade slides right off," Mewgle corrected him.

Pikachu's jaw dropped. "Wait, WHAT?! That's not possible! My sword is Thunderfang, a legendary blade forged from a fallen star and blessed by the gods! It has the power to pierce and electrocute evil! How can it NOT penetrate this thing's skin?!"

"Well, for one thing, it's not evil," Ash spoke up, noticing something in the rulebook.

Pikachu blinked. "Huh?"

"It's not evil. It's too stupid to be good or evil, so it's a neutrally-aligned beast," Ash explained.

Pikachu frowned. "Oh. Well…that's a problem."

"It certainly is," Mewgle agreed. "And so's this!" He rolled his dice. "The Ultimate Tarrasque attacks Pikachu for foolishly trying to stab its shin with a claw swipe that kills you instantly!"

"What?! That's ridiculous!" Pikachu cried.

"Actually, it's not," Ash said, still reading from the book. "According to this, tarrasques are so powerful and their claws are so strong that they can kill pretty much anything in one hit, no matter how tough the armor. And it doesn't help that you aren't wearing any."

"Dammit," Pikachu grunted. "I counterroll." He rolled his dice. "Ha! I'm still alive!"

"But without any cake," Mewgle said. The others stared at him. He rolled his eyes. "Never mind. Point is, you're alive, but you're badly maimed. As in, you have .00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 HP at the moment."

Pikachu blanched. "Ah."

"Not to worry, I use a Max Potion on him to get him back to full health!" Ash said, after a quick roll of the dice to see if it would work.

"Thanks Ash," said a relieved Pikachu.

"The Ultimate Tarrasque steps on you, squishing you flat and nearly killing you again," Mewgle announced after a roll of his own twenty-sided dice. "It would have been 'completely' killed you, but I got a prime number on my roll, so…" He shrugged.

"Son of a-" Pikachu cursed loudly. "Ash, does that book say anything about how to kill that thing?!"

"Weeeeelllll…" Ash said slowly. "It says that we could kill it by raising its nonlethal damage total to match its full normal hit points and using a _Wish_ or _Miracle_ spell to keep it dead."

Pikachu's face fell. "I don't think we can do that."

Ash shook his head. "No. But…oh! Here's a good one! We dig a pit."

Pikachu nodded. "Uhuh…"

"Then we fill it with water…"

"Uhuh…"

"We lure the Tarrasque into the pit…"

"Uhuh…"

"And then we wait for it to drown!" Ash finished triumphantly. Pikachu stared at him. Mewgle snickered to himself. Ash frowned and glanced back at the book. "Oh, wait, it says that it might be able to climb out or dig a way out unless we tricked it into eating a one million ton iron block beforehand. Where the heck are we gonna get one of those?"

Pikachu smacked his forehead. Mewgle burst into raucous laughter. "Crap…"

"You can't wi-in! You can't wi-in! You can't wi-in!" Mewgle taunted. "You might as well give up now, because you can't possibly beat my Ultimate Tarrasque! It has 'ultimate' in its name, after all, which means it can't be defeated!"

"Oh, I wouldn't say that…" a familiar voice called from the tower entrance.

Surprised, the three gamers whirled around and saw… "Hey, you're that guy from before!" Ash realized.

Leonardo the Squirtle, looking somewhat out of breath from his long trek across the fields of Green Meadow, nodded with a wide grin on his face. "That's right! Leo DeKappa is here to kick ass and chew bubblegum, and I'm all out of bubblegum!"

"If you don't have any bubblegum, then why did you come here to chew some?" asked a confused Ash.

Leo sweatdropped. "…It's a figure of speech, dude."

"Uh, you two know this guy?" asked a confused Mewgle.

"Sort of. He tried to talk to us back in Turtle Town, but then spazzed out and jumped into a bush," Ash said.

"Oh," said the confused Mewgle. Leo flushed in embarrassment.

"How did you get here?" asked a surprised Pikachu.

"Oh, after I talked some confidence back into myself, I followed you guys, knowing you'd need my help to fight the evil demon, if all the rumors I've heard about it on online demonology and gaming forums are true. I'm the best gamer in town, so I'd definitely be an asset in any battle against it!" Leo explained.

"Then how come I've never seen you around here before, helping other fools who try to challenge me?" Mewgle asked suspiciously.

Leo's shell sagged. "All the other adventurers laughed at me and told me I couldn't go with them when I asked. And I could never work up the courage to come here myself. Until now, anyway…"

"Oh, so that's why you flaked out earlier?" Ash realized. "You were afraid we'd turn you down too?"

Leo's eyes shifted. "Uh, yeah, let's go with that…um, right, anyway, I'm here to help you guys out."

Mewgle snorted and gestured to a chair that Ash and Pikachu were fairly certain had not been there a minute ago. "Hmmph, fine, I suppose we could always use another player. It's a bit late in the game for you to join, but seeing as how when I win that'll be one more soul for me to play with I think I can make an exception. Now, let me just write up a character sheet for you…"

"Nah, no need," Leo waved him off as he took his seat. "I brought my own. And a minifigure, to boot!" He retracted one arm into his shell and pulled out several sheets of paper stapled together and an extremely intricate minifigure with rather detailed paint and features that had probably taken him weeks of hard work to make.

The group was startled. "How did you know to bring those? I mean, I have tons of games, what gave you the idea to get a sheet and character figure for Dungeons and Dragonites specifically in advance?!" asked an astonished Mewgle.

"Oh, I didn't know that we'd be playing D+D," Leo explained. "So I brought spec sheets and figures for all the characters I use in all the games I play, as well as the appropriate dice, tokens, rulebooks, and even a few gameboards in case you didn't have any. I also brought all my best decks for every trading card game I play, most of my video and PC game collection, my PDA, my laptop, and a few consoles just in case. Since I didn't know what game you'd be running, I figured I should be as prepared as I possibly could be, so I brought everything I could carry."

They stared at him in astonishment. "You're either my soulmate or my archrival," Mewgle whispered in awe.

Since he wasn't wearing a backpack of any kind, and it was doubtful he could have dragged all those things across the fields, then that had to mean… "And you can fit all of that in your shell?!" asked an incredulous Pikachu.

Leo smirked. "This thing's surprisingly roomy. You'd be _amazed_ at the kinds of things I can fit in here."

"Note to self: If I ever get out of here, get a shell," Mewgle murmured, jotting something down. "No, on second thought, take this guy's, he was thoughtful enough to bring most of his games all this way, why not put them to good use?"

"Man, we could've used one of those when we were packing for our trip to this continent," Ash complained. "I didn't think we'd ever manage to get all our stuff into these knapsacks! Just think how much more food we could have brought…oh, uh, and adventuring tools, too."

"Anyway, I guess we should fill you in on what's been going on, since you're the new guy, even if you HAVE missed most of the campaign," Mewgle said, secretly assessing Leo's shell and wondering how it would look on himself. "Here's what's going on…"

Leo interrupted him. "Yeah, I know, Ash and Pikachu have infiltrated the castle of the evil demon lord Mewgle-"

"Supreme Overlord Mewgle, Emperor of Evil, King of Darkness, Master of Games, Ruler of RPGs, and undisputed Champion of DDR," Mewgle said reflexively.

The Squirtle rolled his eyes, used to narcissistic and controlling Dungeon Masters. "Yeah, him—and are confronted by the sixty-headed Ultimate Tarrasque, one of the most powerful and unstoppable monsters in the entire game."

"How did you know all that?" asked an astonished Pikachu. "Are you psychic?"

"Or have some connection to a magical force which underlies all of gaming that gives you precognitive abilities and supernatural powers?" Ash asked. Everyone stared at him. "What? I do. Sort of."

"No, no, it's nothing like that," Leo said sheepishly. "I just…ah…was listening from outside for the last ten minutes."

There was a pause. "If you got here that long ago, why didn't you come in sooner?" asked a confused Pikachu.

"Maybe he just didn't have the nerve," Mewgle sneered.

"Actually, I was waiting for the right moment to make a dramatic entrance and save the day in the nick of time," Leo explained. They facefaulted. "Part of being a good hero is making a great initial appearance, after all."

Ash nodded in agreement. "He's right, it is." Pikachu frowned at him. "What? It _is…_"

"Anyway, I suppose I should introduce myself!" Leo said, clearing his throat.

"You already did," said Ash.

"No, I mean introduce my character," Leo explained.

"Oh," said Ash.

"Just as the Ultimate Tarrasque is about to devour the hapless Ash and Pikachu, a caped figure smashes through the window and lands before the many-headed beast, juxtaposing himself before the wounded adventurers!" Leo declared, placing his minifigure between the ones representing Ash and Pikachu and the one of the Tarrasque.

"I'm the only one who's injured," Pikachu interjected.

"Well, I can't say' the one perfectly fine adventurer and the other guy who almost got squished flat' now can I?" Leo pointed out.

"True," Pikachu admitted.

Leo continued. "As the monster roars in surprise, the weary heroes gaze at their new ally in puzzlement. 'Who is that caped stranger?' Ash the Lucario asked."

"No I didn't," said the confused Ash.

"You didn't, but your character did," Leo explained.

"Oh," said Ash. His brow furrowed in confusion. "But I _am_ my character…or am I?"

"Wait a minute, why's HE getting to do narration?!" Mewgle demanded. "I'm the DM here! I'm the only one who's supposed to give exposition like that!"

"He's the new guy, and he came all this way to play with us," Pikachu said. "Give him some slack."

"But…oh, fine," Mewgle said, caving in because he still hoped to obtain the Squirtle's shell and his gaming collection.

"A toothy grin on his face, the figure turns to face the tired travelers. He is a towering six feet tall, covered in blue-green leathery skin with a chain mail shirt covered by a plate mail front done in a tortoiseshell pattern. A kilt, also in tortoiseshell, covers his loins," Leo described.

"Thankfully," said a relieved Ash.

"Strange glowing mystic runes are inscribed on the interior of his black cape and on the gold knobs and engravings on his armor. A serpentine golden dragon is embroidered on his kilt, wrapping all around its length to bite its own tail. His clawed feet are shod in wooden sandals with high blocks on the bottom. An array of strange pouches and bags, no doubt filled with mystical contents, as well as a sheathed sword hang from his waist. A buckler shield that looks somewhat like the shell of an ancient and very strong turtle is strapped to his right arm, and he holds a long metal rod in his left hand with blades and orbs and charms and bells sprouting from the end. His face is like that of a mix between a lizard and a bird's, with slitted eyes and a toothed beak framed by long flowing blue locks of bishounen-y hair, kept out of his eyes by a red headband-" Leo continued.

"Wait, a turtle with hair?" Pikachu interjected.

"Um…yeah, well, it's a fantasy setting!" Leo said in embarrassment, self-consciously rubbing his completely bald scalp.

"Is he done yet?" asked a bored Mewgle.

"Now you know how we felt earlier," Ash said cheerfully.

"Shut up," Mewgle grumbled.

"'I am the War Wizard Suijuichowedjah D'starthra,' the mystical being said," said Leo. "'I learned of your plight in a vision and came-'"

"What was his name?" asked a confused Ash.

"Suijuichowedjah D'starthra," Leo repeated.

"Suijin Chowder Dark Urethra?" Ash mangled.

"Suijuichowedjah D'starthra," Leo repeated.

"Suicune Chewbacca Jedi Death Star?" Ash mispronounced.

"Suijuichowedjah D'starthra," Leo repeated, starting to get annoyed.

"Sushi Kung Fu D'Arc Thrall?" Ash misunderstood.

"Suijuichowedjah D'starthra!" Leo snapped.

"Super Juice Ouch Joe Dojo Barf?" Ash utterly failed to get right.

"No, Suijuichowedjah D'starthra!" Leo yelled.

"Shoobie Doobie Doo?" Ash guessed incorrectly.

"SUIJUI-" Leo started to shout.

"SHAWN!" Mewgle bellowed, fed up with the entire exchange. "His name is Shawn."

"But-" Leo protested.

"SHAWN!" Mewgle roared, his mouth opening far wider than anatomically possible and offering them a look down his gullet into his demonic innards. It was not very pleasant.

"Shawn it is," Leo agreed faintly, his face pale and his glasses askew.

"Why did you make your character's name so impossible to pronounce?" Pikachu asked.

"To make him sound cooler," Leo explained.

"Ah," said Pikachu.

"Anyway, where was I? Oh, right. 'I am the War Wizard Shawn. I learned of your plight in a vision and came to aid you in your battle against the demon lord,'" Leo said, continuing from where he had left off. The others looked at him, waiting for more. Nothing happened for several moments. He frowned and glanced at his fellow players. "This is the part where you're supposed to say something."

"It is?" asked Ash.

"Yeah. We're role-playing, after all," Leo said, as if it were perfectly obvious.

"Oh," said Ash. "Um…'We're grateful for your help?'"

"'And could you possibly heal me and do something about that giant sixty-headed monster over there?'" asked Pikachu, getting into character, which was pretty easy since his character was himself…or was it?

"Sure, no problem," said Leo, and it was unclear if he was speaking as Leo or Shawn. "Let's take care of that tarrasque first."

Mewgle snickered. "I've gotta see this."

"Let me just get out my dice first," Leo said, reaching into his shell and withdrawing a pair of objects which flashed to light with a blinding radiance that caused Mewgle to scream in agony as his fur caught on fire.

"AAAAAHHH! AAAAAAHHHH AAAAAHHHH! AAAAAAHHHH!" the demon cried, running around the room, trailing smoke and flame. "Stop, drop, and roll! Stop, drop, and roll! Stop, drop, and roll!"

Ash, Pikachu, and Squirtle stared at Mewgle with wide eyes as the demon tried to extinguish himself. The objects Leo were holding continued glowing. "Huh. Wasn't expecting that to happen," Leo said.

"What _are_ those?" asked an astonished Ash.

"My lucky dice," said Leo.

"Not just _any_ dice!" Mewgle cried as he walked back over, his fur smoking, wearing sunglasses and holding up a large reflector screen to deflect the glare from the dice. "Those are the blessed dice of St. Gygax, patron saint of tabletop RPGs!"

Ash and Pikachu sweatdropped. "Holy dice?!" Pikachu asked incredulously. "I'm sorry, I suppose it's hypocritical of me to express skepticism towards a holy artifact considering I have a sacred sword, but…seriously, holy DICE?!"

"I wonder if there's a holy toilet somewhere…" Ash mused. "Or maybe a refrigerator…yeah…one which never runs out of food…" He drooled at the thought.

"Where did you get those?!" Mewgle demanded.

Leo shrugged. "Internet. Uh, are you okay?"

"Of course I'm not okay!" Mewgle snapped. "I'm a demon! Those dice are BLESSED! The two don't exactly mix, you know!"

"Huh. That's true," Leo said in a tone of voice that implied that he had known that all along. "Well, if it's that big a problem, I can take out one of my unluckier pairs…"

"Please do," Mewgle snarled. Leo put the dice back in his shell, causing the room to dim and Mewgle to relax visibly.

The Squirtle took out a pair of regular, un-blessed dice. "Just so you know, even though these dice aren't holy, they're still pretty lucky," Leo warned them. "I've rolled all the ones out of them!" As Ash and Pikachu tried to decipher what the heck that meant, Leo rolled and made his first move. "I approach the beast," said Leo. "It stares at me hungrily, acidic drool dripping from its many jaws and sizzling against the floor. With a cocky grin on my face, I whip off my headband and tie it over my eyes!"

There was a pause. "Wait, what?" said a confused Mewgle.

"That's my gimmick!" Ash said angrily. "You stole it!"

"Isn't someone going to heal me?" Pikachu complained.

"What are you trying to do?!" Mewgle demanded.

Leo smirked. "The Ultimate Tarrasque is one of the mightiest and most feared monsters in the entire game…but it's also one of the stupidest. So stupid, in fact, that it believes that if its prey can't see it, it can't see them!"

"That _is_ stupid," said an impressed Ash.

"What the—no! No fucking way! You're making that up!" Mewgle snarled.

Leo stuck his tongue out at Mewgle. "Am not."

"Give me that!" Mewgle snatched the rulebook back from Ash and checked the entry for Ultimate Tarrasque. "Aha, I was right! It doesn't say anything like that here! In fact, it says the Ultimate Tarrasque has very KEEN eyesight, so it shouldn't be fooled by a cheap trick like that!"

"Yeah, but that's because your rulebook's outdated," Leo replied.

Mewgle blinked. "Huh?"

"That's a monster manual from edition 379.4. According to the new rules in edition 400, the move I just pulled was perfectly legal," Leo explained.

Mewgle's jaw dropped. "E-edition…EDITION 400?! When did THAT come out?!"

"A couple of months ago," Leo said.

"Why didn't anyone tell me?!" Mewgle screamed, ripping tufts of fur from the top of his head. "I don't fucking believe this! I'm THAT far behind on the rules?! AAAARRRRGGGHHHH! I _HATE_ THIS ARCEUSDAMNED PLACE! AT LEAST BACK IN THE ABYSS WE GOT TIMELY NEWS UPDATES!" He slammed his head against the table repeatedly. "DAMMIT, DAMMIT, DAMMIT, _DAMMIT!_"

Ash and Pikachu edged their chairs away from Mewgle. Leo smirked in amusement. Mewgle glanced up, eyes bloodshot. "You have to let me see the new edition."

"Maybe later," Leo said casually.

"What else is different? How much have I missed?! Have there been any major gameworld-redefining changes?!" Mewgle demanded.

Leo chuckled. "Wouldn't _you_ like to know?" Mewgle screamed long and loud.

"Wow," Ash whispered to his brother. "And I thought _Mewgle_ was a cruel tormentor."

"Never underestimate a geek in his element, I suppose," Pikachu murmured back.

Mewgle glared at Leo hatefully. "I don't care if my Tarrasque can't see you, _I_ can, and I order it to attack you until you tell me more about edition 400!"

Leo shook his head. "Doesn't work, it's already convinced itself I don't exist!"

"DAMMIT! Fine, then I order it to attack your friends! And…" Mewgle paused to roll his twenty-sided dice. "It's instant death!"

"Nah-ah, I counterroll and tie my bandana over my eyes, so the monster can't see me either," Ash said triumphantly after a quick dice roll.

Mewgle blinked. "What? But you don't have a bandana!"

"Yes I do," Ash said, pointing to the one around his neck.

"No, not you you, your character you!" Mewgle snapped.

"He has one too," Ash said. "It's on his…my…you know, the character sheet thing."

"FUCK!" Mewgle yelled. "Then I attack the Pikachu!"

"Uh, can't, I rolled while you were arguing with Ash and put on my bandana too," said Pikachu. "Somehow. Despite being severely wounded and almost flat from getting stepped on…"

"AAAAAARRRGGGHH!" Mewgle yelled. He slammed his face into the table once. Then he said, mournfully, "The Ultimate Tarrasque is confused. It hurts itself in its confusion. Then wanders off."

"And then we advance to attack Supreme Overlord Mewgle, Emperor of Evil, King of Darkness, Master of Games, Ruler of RPGs, and undisputed Champion of DDR," Leo said, rolling his dice. "Using his screams of rage to pinpoint his location, since if we took off our blindfolds he could just order the tarrasque to come back and attack us again."

"Ooh, nice one," said the impressed Pikachu.

Mewgle glanced up. "Aha! But you fall right into my trap!"

"I thought I disabled all of those," said a confused Ash. "Or is it another monster-summoning one?"

"No, not that kind of—I mean, I have you right where I want you!" Mewgle clarified. "You see, when you entered my throne room, you auto-triggered the casting for my most powerful spell! It takes time for that spell to activate, though, so I needed to distract you with minions, traps, the Tarrasque, and Leo's entrance—as well as Ash's utter failure to pronounce his character's name—to allow my sorcery to gain the strength it needs to end this game! Muhahahahahaha!"

The three players exchanged worried looks. "That doesn't sound good…" said Ash.

"What kind of spell are we talking about here?" asked Leo.

Mewgle grinned sinisterly. "Final Extinction."

Leo gasped. "What?! No way! Not that spell!!"

"I take it that's a bad thing?" Pikachu asked uneasily.

"Final Extinction is only one of the most powerful spells in the game!" Leo cried. "So strong that it destroys the entire UNIVERSE it's cast in, and everything in it!"

Ash and Pikachu's faces paled. "Shit," said Pikachu.

"Uh, that means we'd lose, right?" asked Ash.

Leo nodded. "Yeah…but wait!" He frowned at Mewgle. "You can't cast Final Extinction! Even with enough build-up time to allow the spell's power to form completely before someone could kill its caster, you'd need to spend several BILLION MP to use it! Not to mention it'd kill you, too! And if you did that, then NOBODY wins the game!"

"Aha, but that's where you're wrong!" Mewgle crowed. "For you see, Supreme Overlord Mewgle, Emperor of Evil, King of Darkness, Master of Games, Ruler of RPGs, and undisputed Champion of DDR possesses two items which not only allows him to cast Final Extinction freely, but without suffering any negative effects from it! The first is the Fountain of Infinite Mana. I believe you saw it earlier, Ash and Pikachu, while you were exploring my palace."

"We did?" asked a confused Ash.

"I think it was the thing you threw that one hundred-handed giant into," Pikachu recalled.

"Ohhh," Ash said, remembering now.

"The Fountain gives me unlimited MP, allowing me to cast any spell, no matter how expensive," Mewgle explained. "And the other item is the Crown of Mirrors, which reflects all physical and status-based damage inflicted on me at all the other characters nearby. As a result, when the wave of universe-destroying annihilation from Final Extinction hits me, it'll rebound and hit the three of you, making you even TWICE as obliterated!" He laughed. "You can't win! It's all over!"

"Uh-oh," Pikachu said, ears folding back against his head.

"No, wait, if we beat your character before the spell hits, then we can still survive, right?" Ash asked.

"Perhaps…IF you had done it earlier! (Not that you could have anyway, since Supreme Overlord Mewgle, Emperor of Evil, King of Darkness, Master of Games, Ruler of RPGs, and undisputed Champion of DDR is WAY too strong.) The spell will kick in immediately after all three of you finish your next turns, and there's no way you can beat me or escape the blast in such a short time!"

"Uh, Leo?" Pikachu asked their new ally and game expert.

Leo thought for a moment. Then he smirked and began to chuckle. "Heh. Pretty clever strategy. You almost had us there. There's just one small problem with your plan."

Mewgle's eyes bulged in their sockets. "What? A problem?! Impossible! It's perfect! You can't possibly survive!"

"You'd be right," said Leo, still smirking. "_If_ I hadn't brought my Portable Hole of Infinite Holding!"

"Your what?" asked a confused Pikachu.

"Portable…hole? How exactly does that work?" asked a perplexed Ash. "I mean, how do you carry a hole around with you? Wouldn't you fall into it or something?"

"…Uh, it's magic. A wizard did it," Leo said evasively.

Mewgle scoffed. "So you have a Portable Hole? What're you going to do, try and stuff my spell into there? Nice try, your hole CAN hold an infinite amount of items, but its aperture isn't big enough to shove a universe-destroying explosion into!"

"You're right," Leo said. He rolled his dice, and broke into a wide grin. "That's why _I'm_ going to jump in instead!"

Mewgle's jaw dropped. Ash and Pikachu exchanged puzzled glances. "You can jump _into_ your inventory?" Pikachu asked skeptically.

"This game makes no sense," Ash complained.

"That's brilliant!" Mewgle shrieked. "I suppose I should be enraged, but that's actually a pretty smart plan. The hole is technically a pocket dimension, so wouldn't be affected by the explosion. Just one flaw in _your_ plan, though." He grinned evilly. "Once its power has been unleashed, Final Extinction takes thirty minutes to run down…and last time I checked, the Portable Hole of Infinite Holding only contains ten minutes of air! Considering your character's size and build, there's no way he can hold his breath for that long! All you've done is doomed yourself to asphyxiation rather than a fiery all-encompassing obliteration!"

"You'd be right," Leo said smugly. "_If_ I weren't able to auto-equip any item I want while literally inside my inventory without rolling a die, and _if_ I didn't happen to have over ninety oxygen masks in here to supply me with more than enough air to outlast your spell of destruction."

"What?! NO!" Mewgle screamed. "YOU CAN'T DO THAT!"

"Sure I can," Leo said with a smirk. "Its in edition 400."

"GRAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Mewgle howled, pounding his head against the table and shaking the minifigures and dice.

"That's all well and good, but what about us?" asked a miffed Pikachu.

"Oh, that's easy, you can jump in if you roll a number divisible by 3, 4, or 5," Leo said.

The brothers quickly rolled their dice. "I got a 12! Yes! I jump into the hole to safety!" Pikachu declared. "Despite being horribly wounded and probably not having working leg muscles or feet."

"I got…a 17," said an alarmed Ash. "What's that mean?"

"It means you don't make it into the hole in time and die," Leo said apologetically. "Them's the breaks."

"But…but…" Ash stammered.

"Don't worry, we'll revive you when we come out," Pikachu assured him. "Say Leo, do you think you could hand me one of those oxygen masks and a potion or three?"

"Sure, no problem," Leo said, miming the handing over of said items.

"Thanks a lot, guys," Ash growled.

"The earth trembles, and the sky turns red as the Final Extinction wave reaches the planet, annihilating everything in its path! Supreme Overlord Mewgle, Emperor of Evil, King of Darkness, Master of Games, Ruler of RPGs, and undisputed Champion of DDR throws back his head and laughs malevolently as the energy blast washes through the room, shattering the palace and breaking apart its myriad molecules and atoms and quarks into particles so tiny and miniscule that they can never be reassembled. Ash shrieks in unimaginable agony as his body is broken down bit by bit at the fundamental level, a slow, seemingly unending torment as his form unravels and disintegrates into nothingness. Death would be a welcome respite to this horrific suffering! He longs for-"

"Okay, I'm dead, I get it. Shut up already," Ash grumbled, knocking over his minifigure.

Mewgle scowled at him. "Fine. Geez, you guys are no fun. The Extinction continues expanding outwards, engulfing and destroying the entire universe, until everything is destroyed and all matter and time and energy are dissolved into absolute nothingness, save for Supreme Overlord Mewgle, Emperor of Evil, King of Darkness, Master of Games, Ruler of RPGs, and undisputed Champion of DDR, who looks upon what he has wrought and laughs, and laughs, and laughs."

"What about the tarrasque?" asked Pikachu.

Mewgle blinked. "Huh?"

"Did it survive the explosion?" Pikachu clarified.

Mewgle paused, frowning in thought. "Huh. You know, that's a good question. I'm not actually sure. The new edition say anything about this?"

Leo shook his head. "Not that I can recall. Maybe there'll be something on it in edition 400.1."

Mewgle shrugged. "Eh, let's say it got vaporized too, then. Anyway, the destruction of the universe is finished (why does that seem familiar, for some reason?) so you can come out of your hole now."

"But it hasn't been thirty minutes yet," Ash pointed out.

"Thirty subjective minutes in game time, not in the real world," Leo explained as he rolled a 5 so he could escape the hole.

"Oh," said Ash.

Squirtle made his move. "I emerge from my Portable Hole of Inifinite Holding—still wearing my oxygen mask, naturally, so I don't suck on vacuum—" Mewgle cursed at that. "-Also carrying a Magical Mirror of Magnification and one All-purpose Demon Banishing Charm."

Mewgle snorted. "What, that's it? You're not bringing any heavier firepower out? Not that it would help you anyway, since my Crown of Mirrors will just reflect all your attacks back at you, even your banishing spell!"

Leo smiled knowingly. "Oh, we'll see about that…"

"I also exit the hole," said Pikachu, after rolling a 3. "And I take with me the mask I was wearing, as well as a spare for Ash and a Bangle of Reconstitution to reassemble his particles and bring him back from the dead."

"Thanks," said a relieved Ash. "I was getting tired of being dead."

"You can't use it yet, though! It's my turn!" Mewgle said gleefully. "Supreme Overlord Mewgle, Emperor of Evil, King of Darkness, Master of Games, Ruler of RPGs, and undisputed Champion of DDR looks down upon the mortal weaklings who stand before him and laughs in their faces. 'Impudent whelps!' says he. 'Why do you still oppose me? I have already won! I have destroyed the universe and all in it! I have erected a monument to nonexistence! There is no point in fighting. Not only can you not defeat me, even if you won, you'd still have nothing! I have prevailed over all! I wield the greatest power in existence! You might as well be the dirt on the bottom of my feet, or the dirt on the bottom of that dirt!'"

"'You can't destroy everything!'" Leo replied. "'People will always have dreams!'"

Mewgle laughed. "'Life…dreams…hope…where do they come from? And where do they go…? Such meaningless things…I'll-"

"What are you doing?" Pikachu interjected.

Mewgle blinked. "Huh? Oh, I'm monologueing to celebrate my imminent victory."

"And I'm engaging him in a philosophical and motivating speech where I outline what we, the heroes, are fighting for, and why good will always triumph over evil," Leo said. "It's traditional to say one of those before fighting the final boss."

"Well stop it. It's stupid," said Ash.

Leo glared at Ash. "Well fine, geez, go ahead and ruin the moment…"

Mewgle rolled his giant twenty-sided die. "I cast the instant-death spell, Call of Oblivion! Thanks to the Skull Ring I'm wearing, its accuracy rating has been boosted by six hundred and sixty-six points, so that when it hits Leo (without missing, also due to the rating boost) he'll be killed instantly!"

"Aha, but I counterroll!" Leo cried, rolling his dice. "And deflect the attack back at you with my Magical Mirror of Magnification, so that it's not only reflected back at you, but with 1.5 times the power!"

"Ha, nice try, but my Crown of Mirrors deflects the attack-" Mewgle started.

"Right back at me, and I reflect it back at you with my Magical Mirror, making it stronger in the process!" Leo interrupted.

Mewgle blinked. "But then I'd just reflect it back at you…and you'd reflect it back at me…and…WAIT!" His eyes bulged. "I see what you're doing! You're engaging us in a Reflect battle!"

"A what?" asked Ash, totally lost.

"When two enemies with items or enchantments which reflect attacks engage each other, their attacks bounce back and forth between them, gathering power until finally one of their defenses breaks," Leo explained.

"When does that happen?" asked Pikachu.

"Each time the reflected attack hits one of our mirrors, the attackee rolls his dice," Mewgle explained. "If the number he gets is equal to or greater than the attacker's last roll, his mirror holds and the original attacker has to try to beat it with his next roll. If one of us gets a lower roll, then his mirror breaks and he gets hit by the full force of the bouncing spell."

"But that means you could be staking the entire game on a lucky roll of the dice! That sounds really dangerous and unbelievably risky. Couldn't you just move out of the way to break the cycle?" Ash asked.

Mewgle and Leo gave him incredulous looks. "Of course not!" Mewgle scoffed.

"Yeah, where'd the fun be in that?" Leo agreed.

Ash sweatdropped. "Ah, of course…fun…silly me."

"I can't use my regular DM dice for this, so I'll just get out my lucky pair of twelves," Mewgle said, dropping a pair of dice made of some eerie black substance which seemed to absorb light, each side carved to look like the face of a tortured soul screaming in agony, a number written in fire glowing in each of their mouths.

"Nice customs," Leo complimented him. "Mine're better, though."

Mewgle snorted. "Pssh, only because St. Gygax blessed them. Let's do this!"

"You're on!" Leo agreed.

The next hour was one of the longest and boringest in Ash and Pikachu's lives. While Leo and Mewgle were both getting into this, their faces screwed up in concentration as they shook their dice and blew on them and whispered prayers and hexes for lucky throws, neither of the brothers found it particularly exciting since pretty much all that was happening was one geek rolling his dice, then the other geek, then both of them would curse and shout as they managed to tie or one-up the other time and time again. Neither of them made any progress, the Call of Oblivion spell kept bouncing back and forth between them, Pikachu just floated there, and Ash remained dead.

"This game sucks," Ash complained. "And so does being dead. Can't you use that bangle thing to revive me already?"

"Can't," said Pikachu. "Not my turn until these two are done gambling."

"Aha! An eleven!"

"Damn! I have one too…"

"Grr…but now I have a fifteen! In your face!"

"Oh yeah? Well I have a nineteen now! Beat that!"

"Well, maybe I will!"

"I don't think they'll ever be done," Ash complained.

"Well, statistically speaking, they've each gotten an improbable number of high rolls," Pikachu said. "It's only a matter of time until one of them slips and their mirror breaks."

That moment wouldn't come for another forty-five minutes. Leo, whose hands had become slippery with sweat from constantly shaking his dice in preparation for his next roll, accidentally lost hold of his dice at the same time Mewgle rolled his. "Whoops!"

The two regular dice bounced across the table and collided with Mewgle's more demonic dice as they landed from their second bounce, causing the four dodecahedrons to carome in all directions. One went flying back towards Leo, who yelped and retreated into his shell, causing it to arc over him and land on the ground behind his chair. One hit Mewgle in the face, bounced off, and collided with the statue of himself on the table, knocking it over. One sailed through the air towards the dozing Pikachu, who reflexively drew his sword and slashed it in two before he realized what he was doing. The final die landed in the mouth of Ash, who was snoring loudly (having fallen asleep long ago), causing him to violently wake up and start hacking and coughing as he tried to remove the thick many-sided object lodged in his throat. Pikachu, now totally awake, quickly ran over and smacked him on the back, causing Ash to spit up the dice he had swallowed. It landed on the table, covered in saliva, and getting wet…stuff all over the palace map Mewgle had spent hours drawing up. "Ew," said Mewgle, crinkling his nose up in disgust.

"Ugh…I hate this game," Ash gasped as Pikachu helped him recover.

"Uh…well, that was interesting," said Leo, poking his head out of his shell. "Do-over?"

Mewgle snorted. "We don't do do-overs in this house, mister! Let's see now…I rolled a 9 and your friend here spat up a 7," he said, examining the two dice still on the table. He glanced around. "Where are our other dice?"

Leo glanced over his shoulder. "I have a 5," he reported, reading the number from where his not-spit-covered dice had landed. "And you rolled a…half."

Mewgle blinked. "Half? What do you mean?"

Leo pointed at the two halves of Mewgle's other die, lying apart from each other on the floor. The demon's jaw dropped. Pikachu laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his head. "Uh…oops?"

"MY. DICE," Mewgle roared. In a flash, he was out of his chair and shaking the startled Pikachu by the fur of his neck. "THAT. WAS. ONE. OF. MY. FAVORITE. DICE. I TOOK IT WITH ME TO THIS WORLD WHEN I ESCAPED FROM THE ABYSS. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH THAT THING COST TO MAKE?! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT IT MEANT TO ME?! DO YOU? _DO YOU??"_

"A lot?" Ash guessed.

"I think this means your crown breaks," Leo said.

Mewgle glanced away from Pikachu. "What?"

"I rolled a 12, and you rolled a 9 and a half," Leo explained, pointing to the remaining dice. "That means your Crown of Mirrors shatters."

Mewgle's eyes bulged. "No! Do-over! Do-over!"

Leo smirked and crossed his arms. "I thought you said there were no do-overs in this house?" Mewgle cursed loudly, letting go of Pikachu and beating his skull with his scrawny fists.

"Uh, does this mean we won the game and we can leave now?" Ash asked hopefully.

Mewgle stopped hitting himself. "No, even though I got hit by my own spell, my Skull Ring protects me from its instant-death effect."

"But now that your crown is gone, we can attack you directly!" Pikachu said. "Right after I use my turn to heal Ash, that is, and give him an oxygen mask so he can breathe."

"Finally!" shouted a relieved Ash.

Pikachu rolled his dice. "Okay…I think it worked."

"Actually, since you rolled an unlucky 13, that means Ash is revived, but with only half his original health…and sans one arm," Leo corrected him.

"What? I'm missing an arm?!" Ash shouted incredulously. "Why am I missing an arm?!"

Leo shrugged. "The spell didn't work completely."

"That is such…ugh! I hate this game!" Ash yelled angrily. "Well fine, now that I'm revived, I run up to Mewgle-"

"Supreme Overlord Mewgle, Emperor of Evil, King of Darkness, Master of Games, Ruler of RPGs, and undisputed Champion of DDR," Mewgle corrected him.

"Whatever!" Ash snapped. "And punch him in the face." He rolled his dice. "And I get an Aura boost of +8…I think…so it does…a lot of damage!"

"I counterroll," Mewgle announced, rolling his twenty-sided die. "And eat you alive!"

"…Wait, what? You _eat_ me?!" an incredulous Ash cried. "You can't eat me!"

"Actually, I can, my character's mouth is big enough," Mewgle explained.

Pikachu and Leo snickered. "Must not make any obvious jokes…too easy…"

"Then I counter-counterroll!" Ash said, rolling his dice again. "Ha, an 18! So now you don't eat me! Er, I think…"

"You're right, I don't eat you," Mewgle agreed. "I vomit you back up covered in saliva, bile, stomach acid, and Dark Lord knows what else."

"…Ew," said a disgusted Ash.

"Did I mention you're now Poisoned and will lose ten HP a turn?" Mewgle said eagerly.

"Dammit!" Ash cursed.

"Supreme Overlord Mewgle, Emperor of Evil, King of Darkness, Master of Games, Ruler of RPGs, and undisputed Champion of DDR sneers at the pathetic adventurers. 'I've had enough of toying around with you fools,' he snarls. 'It's time to end this! Fireball level Infinity!'" Mewgle declared, rolling his dice.

Leo snorted. "You're using a Fireball spell?"

"Fireball's an awesome spell! It beats everything!" Mewgle said defensively.

"It would, if my character wasn't a Water-type Dragon/Turtle/Lizard-Man, which allows him to automatically extinguish a fire attack thrown at him if I can counterroll with a number divisible by six," Leo said, rolling his dice and getting an 18. "Which I just did! Booyah! I put out your flaming ball of death with a squirt of my Water Gun!"

"But-but it's Fireball!" Mewgle whined. "It beats everything…"

"Not this time…and neither do you!" Leo rolled his dice. "I activate my All-Purpose Demon Banishing Charm, sending you right back to the Abyss! Game over, Mewgle!"

"NOO…is what I would be saying if that actually had an effect on me!" Mewgle cackled.

The trio started. "Huh? What do you mean?! Your character's a demon! My charm should have banished him!" Leo protested.

Mewgle sneered. "It _would_ have, if I didn't have-"

Ash groaned loudly. "Oh, don't tell me, you have _another_ accessory or item that just happens to cancel the effects of Leo's thing, making everything we've just done a total waste of time."

Mewgle sweatdropped. "Uh, yeah, basically." Everyone else groaned.

"Oh for the love of…let us see your character sheet! This is ridiculous, how many other things do you have squirreled away just so you can pull them out at the last minute and wag them in our faces?!" Pikachu demanded.

Mewgle stuck his tongue out at him. "I don't have to show anyone if I don't want to. DM's privilege."

"You cheater," Pikachu said, voice dripping with disgust.

Mewgle giggled evilly. "You're just a sore loser. And hey, I'm playing by the rules. They're just not ones that favor you."

"Well, I think I'm sick of these rules!" Pikachu snapped. He rolled his dice. "I charge at you and run you through with Thunderfang! Let's see you finagle your way out of that! While it's no banishing charm, my sword is still holy, and last time I checked, your character is weak against that!"

"Too slow, I counterroll!" Mewgle said, rolling his dice. "I catch your sword in my bare hands before it can strike me!"

"Aha, but my sword has an Electrocute effect!" Pikachu countered. "As a result, when you touch it, you get zapped by…" He rolled his dice to check. "Fourteen thousand volts! That should do some decent damage!"

"Nice one, bro!" Ash called.

"Yeah, smooth move," Leo agreed.

"It would be," Mewgle said. "Except-"

"Oh, NOT AGAIN!" Ash yelled. The others groaned.

Mewgle cackled. "That's right, thanks to the Divine Redemption ring on my other hand, the damage from any attack that doesn't kill me in one hit is immediately regenerated! In other words, no matter how hard you hit me, you can't beat me! I'm immortal! Gwahahahahaha!"

Pikachu facepalmed. Ash banged his head against the table. Leo frowned, deep in thought. "One hit, eh?" A slow smile came to his face. "I think I have an idea…Ash, would you mind if I took your next turn? I think I might know how to end this, but I'll need to put it in motion before Mewgle gets his next turn to attack us."

"Huh? Sure, no problem," Ash said amiably.

"Hey, you can't switch turns like that! You already went this round!" Mewgle protested.

"Edition 400," Leo reminded Mewgle.

"DAMMIT!"

"Okay…last chance! I pull out my Flute of Dragon Summoning!" Leo announced.

Mewgle raised an eyebrow. "Dragon Summoning? You're going to summon a friendly dragon to help you against me? Pssh, nice try, but I'm way too powerful for one of those overgrown lizards to beat me!"

"Ah, but I'm not going to call just any dragon, but the KING of all dragons!" Leo said with a grin.

"Rayquaza?" Ash guessed. Leo and Mewgle stared at him. He fidgeted. "Well, he _is_ the king of all dragons…"

Mewgle snorted. "Don't be ridiculous, you fool! Rayquaza is a common garden Ekans compared to Bahamut, the Platinum Dragon, Lord of the North Wind, and Wyrmking of all Good Dragons!"

"Oh," said a chastened Ash quietly.

"But this 'Bahamut' is just a game character, whereas Rayquaza is a real dragon king, isn't he?" asked a somewhat perplexed Pikachu.

"Actually, the character of Bahamut is based off of the Dragon God King, leader of the Draconic Legion and one of Arceus' most powerful children and servants, as well as mate of the Guardian of Light," Leo corrected him. "He's never given a name in any Arcean scripture, but many people…well, mostly nerds like myself…see no reason he can't be thought of as Bahamut."

"Ah," said Pikachu.

"Lousy stinking Dragon God King…" Mewgle growled. "If it weren't for him, we might've won the big Crisis Wars. Stupid worm."

"In fact," Leo said, warming up to the subject. "There's quite a bit of religious debate as to Rayquaza's connection to the Dragon God King. Those who worship the Dragonian faith—mainly dragon-types, naturally, as well as a surprisingly large number of Ghost-types—believe that Rayquaza might be the mortal…er, semi-mortal incarnation of the Dragon God King."

"That's more information than I really wanted to know, but thanks," said Pikachu.

"Wait, then does that mean when we beat up Rayquaza, we may have pissed off some huge dragon god thing?" asked an alarmed Ash. "And I thought we were going to have enough trouble fighting ONE dragon, let alone the ruler of them all!"

"Nah, I'm sure he'll be…wait, you've met Rayquaza?! Dudes!" Leo cried. "That's totally awesome! What's he like? Is he really as wise and all-powerful as they say?"

"He was a pretty nice guy," Ash recalled. "I mean, after we beat him up a little and made him realize there was this meteor about to destroy the planet."

"He seemed oddly insecure. You would think a living deity would have more confidence in himself," Pikachu added.

"Huh…that's weird…" Leo muttered to himself.

"I honestly don't care," Mewgle said flatly. "Especially since there's no way you can actually summon Bahamut! For one thing, he's a _GOD_, so has little reason to help you, and for another, your flute can't possibly be strong enough to call him down from his whirlwind-traveling palace on Mount Celestia!"

"Actually, it _can_, according to the new rules," Leo said, causing Mewgle to scream loudly in frustration. "As long as I'm fighting a true enemy of dragonkind, and offer a sacrifice to him to invoke his power."

"Sacrifice? What kind of sacrifice?" asked Ash.

"Uh…you know, the kind where you offer a once-living thing to the gods?" Leo said.

Ash was appalled. "I thought Bahamut was a _good_ dragon," said a surprised Pikachu.

Leo shrugged. "Yeah, but even good dragons need to eat…and trust me, I know that from experience." A bitter look crossed his face, and Ash and Pikachu wisely said nothing for a moment. Leo managed to push the bad memories away after a moment, and forced a smile for his teammates. "Anyway, it's nothing to worry about. I always carry a few sacrificial Mareep in my inventory for emergencies like this, so neither of you need to give up your lives or anything."

"Oh, good," said Ash, who had not been aware he had been at risk of doing such a thing.

Pikachu frowned. "Wait…you have live Mareep. In your inventory?"

Leo nodded. "Yeah."

"The inventory with only ten minutes' worth of air in it?" Pikachu pressed.

Leo paused. "Uh…maybe they're wearing oxygen masks?"

"And what do they eat?" Ash wondered. "And if there's food, how can they eat it without taking off their masks and ax…asphalt…axiom…that thing where they can't breathe?"

Leo sweatdropped. "…Guys, they're just Mareep. Inventory items. Collectibles. Nobody really puts much thought into stuff like that."

"Well, maybe they should," Ash said firmly. "Maybe they should."

Mewgle coughed loudly to get their attention. "Ah, if we could get back on track, please? Even if you _are_ able to summon that pushover Bahamut thanks to those new rules, there's one little problem. You said you could only summon him to fight a true enemy of dragonkind. I fail to see how I qualify!"

Leo snorted. "Dude, don't you remember what you did with Final Extinction? _You_ _blew up the universe and everything in it!_ That means you also killed every single dragon in the universe, too! You can bet Bahamut's gonna be _pissed._"

Mewgle paled. "Oh, _shit._"

Ash grinned. "Heh, you can say that again."

Pikachu chuckled. "This is going to be fun…"

"Now, I sacrifice one of my Sacrificial Mareep and spend all my MP to play my Flute of Summoning Dragons and call forth the Platinum Father, Bahamut!" Leo declared. "The air shimmers and-"

"Wait, how can you play the flute? Aren't you wearing an oxygen mask?" Ash asked. "And aside from that, aren't we floating in an airless void since Mewgle blew up the universe? So does the flute even make a sound?"

"…Stop thinking so much. It's just a game!" said an exasperated Leo. "Anyway, the air shimmers, and seven points of light appear. Those lights grow brighter and bigger and clearer until it's apparent that they're not lights at all, but dragons! Seven enormous, glorious golden dragons! The dragons roar, their mellifluous voices blending together to form a magnificent-"

"Wait, how can they sing if we're in space?" asked Ash. "Or breathe, for that matter? Heck, how are _we_ even talking-"

"Dude, just let it rest already!" Leo snapped. "It's not important!" Ash kept his mouth shut, deciding not to risk the turtle's temper by asking what 'mellifluous' meant.

Mewgle snickered. "Now you know how I feel."

"Screw you," Leo grunted. "Anyway, their mellifluous voices blend together to form a magnificent harmony. As they sing, they fall into formation, each biting into the tail of the wyrm before it and creating a great gold ring! The ring spins in space, still singing-"

"Wait, they can sing even though they've got tails in their mouths?" Ash interrupted.

"Yes, for the last time! The ring spins in space, still singing, as energy starts to converge in their midpoint, coalescing together and causing a shimmering vortex of light to form. The surface of the vortex ripples, surges, and erupts as a massive, sinuous dragon covered in silver-white scales with blue, catlike eyes emerges from it! His wings seem to stretch from one edge of the empty universe to the other, and stardust falls off him with his every movement. His roars of anger shake the pillars of creation, for he is Bahamut, the Wyrmking, and he is here to exact his vengeance!" Leo described.

"Yeah, until I hurl my Dragonlance and pierce his heart, killing him instantly!" Mewgle crowed. Ash and Pikachu groaned.

"Doesn't work, his platinum scales are too thick," Leo replied, surprising the other three.

"What? Well then, I fire a Godkilling arrow, guaranteed to kill any deity in one hit!" Mewgle tried again.

"Doesn't work," Leo said again.

Mewgle's jaw dropped. "Again?! Then I activate a banishing spell to send him back to his own plane!"

"That doesn't work either," Leo said smugly, folding his arms over his chest.

Mewgle frantically checked his inventory list. "Okay, then what about-"

"Nope."

"What if-"

"Nah-ah."

"Maybe-"

"No way."

"How about if I-"

"Sorry, try again."

"Oh come on!" Mewgle snapped, losing his patience. "That's ridiculous! He's got to have _some_ weakness I can exploit!"

"Normally, he would, in a regular battle," Leo agreed. "However, when summoned to punish a killer of innocent dragons, Bahamut is completely invincible and cannot be harmed, cursed, or banished by any spell, weapon, attack, or special effect."

"WHAT?!" Mewgle shouted. "That's preposterous! You're making it up!"

"Nope," Leo said, taking an unbelievably thick tome twice the size of a phonebook out of his shell. Ash and Pikachu goggled at it in disbelief, wondering how the heck he was able to fit it in his shell (let alone remove it) in the first place. He flipped it open and checked an entry. "According to the rules in edition 400, when called by Flute of Summoning Dragons, Bahamut is, and I quote, 'totally impervious and indestructible, because he's just that cool. So if you're the one who pissed him off, you'd better pray to your own deity and hope he or she is stronger than Bahamut—which is unlikely—because you're about to enter a world of hurt!'"

"That can't be impossible!!" Mewgle screamed. "Why would they even _write_ something like that?! That's blatant favoritism, and totally unfair and unbalanced, and-"

"And you're jealous you didn't think of it first, aren't you?" Pikachu asked with a grin.

"Yes," Mewgle said sullenly.

"Well, it's too late now! Now that Bahamut has been called, he attacks you for cruelly and thoughtlessly murdering his children!" Leo declared. "And since his attack power is multiplied by 1000 for every dragon you've killed, and because you obliterated every dragon in the universe, that means…hmm…yeah…his attack hits for infinite damage!"

"Gwah?! Infinite damage?!" Mewgle screamed. "I can't defend against that! My Divine Redemption ring only works against attacks that DON'T take down all my HP at once!"

"Heh, that's the idea!" Leo chortled. "With a bellow of righteous fury, Bahamut fires a burst of pure white light from his gaping jaws, strong enough to destroy a galaxy and eradicate all evil-doers in the universe!"

"I counterroll to evade!" Mewgle cried desperately.

"You can't! Bahamut's justice is so great that it will find you wherever you go, in this world or any other!" Leo said.

"All good justice should work like that," Ash said approvingly.

"Fuck!" Mewgle shrieked.

"Although Supreme Overlord Mewgle, Emperor of Evil, King of Darkness, Master of Games, Ruler of RPGs, and undisputed Champion of DDR tries desperately to dodge and outrun Bahamut's attack, it pursues him doggedly like a homing missile! No matter how fast he flies, or how much he ducks, dodges, and weaves, he cannot escape it!" Leo narrated. "Eventually his strength falters…"

"No…" Mewgle whispered.

"The flare connects…"

"NO…"

"And, with a cry of horror, the demon lord is engulfed by the blast! He cries out in despair and agony as the dragon god's holy breath consumes him, destroying every last modicum of evilness in his body and turning him into naught but dust, which soon enough is scattered to the cosmic winds!" Leo declared. "And with that, Supreme Overlord Mewgle, Emperor of Evil, King of Darkness, Master of Games, Ruler of RPGs, and undisputed Champion of DDR, is no more!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Mewgle howled in denial, causing the tower around them to tremble.

"Yeeeeeeeessssss!" Ash cheered, pumping his arm triumphantly. "We beat him!"

"Even though we didn't actually do anything for most of the time but sit around and listen to Leo talk at Mewgle…yeah, we won," Pikachu agreed.

Leo smirked. "Yatta, we did it! That's game, yo!"

"No…no…no…no…" Mewgle whimpered, his face buried in his hands.

"Great, now we can take our keys and leave," Ash said, starting to get up.

"But wait, there's more!" Leo said. "Now that the campaign's over, we gotta give the story a happy ending!"

"Do we have to?" Ash moaned. "Haven't we wasted enough time on this game already?"

"Oh, why not? I like happy endings as much as the next champion of justice," Pikachu reasoned. "It probably won't take much longer."

"Fine," Ash grumbled, sitting back in his seat.

"Since Mewgle seems to be a little…indisposed at the moment, and seeing as how I'm the senior gamer here, I hereby take the responsibility of formally ending our quest," Leo said solemnly, while Mewgle sobbed. "While the three heroes celebrate the destruction of the demon lord who had caused them so much turmoil and strife, Bahamut, his heart heavy and his shining eyes full of sadness, turns his attention to the mortals. 'O heroes,' he says, his voice deeper than the deepest ocean and yet more melodious than most beautiful songbird, 'A great evil has been vanquished this day, and I have you to thank for it. I only regret that I could not have come sooner, and that so many dragons had to die pointlessly and so many suffered before the Overlord Mewgle was finally defeated.'

'It's okay,' Ash says reassuringly to the draconian deity. 'You can't be everywhere at once. We understand.'

'After all, not even gods can be perfect,' Shawn adds.

Bahamut nods and says, 'While this is true, it does not alleviate my guilt or ease the sorrow in my heart for the loss of my children. However, even though I must grieve and deal with this tragedy on my own, I can grant you warriors some recompense for all your trials and hard work. I will recreate the world you have lost, grant each of you one million EXP and some of the gold from my treasury, and make each of you a Dragonborn!'" Leo narrated.

"What's that?" Ash (the real one) asked.

"It's you, only nobler, draconic, and platinum-scaled," Leo explained. "A permanent champion against the forces of evil!"

"But I don't want to have scales," Pikachu protested. "I like my fur the way it is!"

"Yeah, me too!" Ash agreed.

Leo rolled his eyes. "This is just in the game. Jeez. And you can still have hair if you want. You'll also have scales, though. And longer tails. Hmm, and maybe wings…"

"Okay, let's just do this before I change my mind," Ash interjected, not entirely certain about this.

"Bahamut leans forward and breathes on the heroes, imbuing them with his power and blessings and causing their forms to change to reflect their new status as Dragonborn. As they marvel at their new, more powerful bodies, Bahamut lifts his head and begins to sing. The voices of his servant wyrms rise in song as well, and together they create a literally divine symphony unlike any the heroes have ever heard before, or ever will again," Leo said. "As the trio looks on in awe and wonder, the void of space around them ripples and changes. Matter and energy start to converge once again as the destructive power Mewgle unleashed earlier is reversed. Molecules form. Stars ignite. Planets reassemble themselves. In mere moment, the three Dragonborn brothers find themselves standing back on their world, in the same place they had been standing before Mewgle destroyed it. Everything is exactly as they left it, except that the Overlord's palace is gone, replaced by a beautiful, elegant temple to Bahamut. The blasted wastelands that surrounded the dark citadel have been reborn, and verdant greenery and flora blossom everywhere. 'Your world is as it was before,' Bahamu informs his new children. 'Save for the fact that all my dragons who dwelled here are dead. I have not the power to resurrect them. However, I have scattered seeds that shall grow into eggs that will one day hatch and repopulate this universe with dragonkin. I task you three with the charge of watching over these eggs, to protect the life that will grow from them. It will be a long time in coming, but your new powers will allow you to endure the centuries and raise my children to their prime.'

'We will not let you down,' Pikachu assures Bahamut.

'I know you will not,' Bahamut agreed. And then he and his servants depart for home, leaving the three heroes in the reborn world. Their greatest adventure has just begun…"

"Finally, this game is over," the relieved Ash said. "So, Mewgle, about those keys…"

Mewgle didn't respond. "Mewgle?" Pikachu asked.

The demon sat there, motionless, hands in his face. "Hmmph. Talk about a sore loser," Leo grunted. "Well, let's look around, those keys have to be around here somewhere."

They started to get up…when Mewgle spoke. "I know you."

They froze. "Huh?" said Ash.

Slowly, the demon lifted his face out of his hands. His eyes were cold. Suddenly, he no longer seemed quite as harmless and childish as they had once thought. They were all rather abruptly reminded that he was not like them, that he was a demon from the Abyss, a criminal millions of years old who had been banished for his sins against creation and had been killing and torturing since before any of them were born. "I know you," Mewgle repeated, pointing a finger at Leo. "I remember now. I remember who you are, and what you did to me."

Ash and Pikachu gave Leo puzzled looks. He shrugged helplessly. "I got no idea what he's talking about either, fellas."

"No, you don't," Mewgle agreed. "But I do. I know who you are now, even if you don't have your shades or your full power yet. I see everything clearly, for the first time in millennia. I remember who I used to be, and what you did to me. I wasn't always a lesser demon trapped in a crumbling old ruin, you know. Back in the day, before time began, I was _this_ close to being master of all reality, even stronger than _God_, when you destroyed me! You ruined EVERYTHING!"

The trio exchanged glances. "I think he's lost it," Ash muttered, slowly gathering Aura.

"Did he ever have it?" Pikachu asked, reaching for his sword.

"Dude, I have no idea what you're talking about," Leo said, trying not to make any sudden moves, and more than a little unnerved by the demon's mention of sunglasses. How had he known about those? "But hey, if I did something to you in a past life, I'm sorry, okay? Can't we just put it behind us and move on?"

Mewgle laughed. He sounded more deranged than usual. "Put it behind us? Sure thing, buddy. Once I make dice from your eyes and game tokens from your bones, all will be forgiven. And I think I'll take that shell too."

The alarmed Leo scooted back in his seat, rummaging in his shell with one hand as Ash and Pikachu jumped from their seats and rushed at Mewgle, fists burning with blue flames and sword crackling with electricity. Mewgle _roared_, the small devil abruptly growing to twice his size and releasing a burst of power that shattered the furniture and destroyed his carefully crafted set of minifigures and dungeon maps, knocking the three mortals away and flinging them against the walls.

Before Ash and Pikachu could recover, the snarling Mewgle dashed towards Leo, who had landed on the floor upside-down, very long claws extending from his fingers with the intent to rip open the turtle's shell and tear him limb from limb…

When Leo abruptly found what he had been looking for and pulled out the blessed dice of St. Gygax, hurling them into Mewgle's face just before the demon could kill him.

There was a blast of brilliant white light that filled the room and blinded everyone. Mewgle released a gut-wrenching scream of terror and pain…and fell silent.

The light faded, and their eyesight returned. The ruined chamber was empty save for themselves, and for the faintly glowing dice sitting on the floor. "Yatta," Leo whispered in amazement. "I did it." He scooped up the dice and examined the runes on their faces. He laughed. "Dude, I rolled a natural twenty-four! These things really _are_ magic!"

"What happened?" Pikachu asked as he glanced around, sword still out. "Is Mewgle dead? Did the dice kill him?"

Ash closed his eyes for a moment. "No," he said. "I still sense his presence here…but weaker. He's suffered a bad blow."

"Then we should find him and finish the job!" Pikachu said.

Leo shook his head as put the dice back in his shell, causing the room to grow dimmer. "Nah, I don't think we can. The dice probably destroyed his corporeal form, so his…essence is all around us. He'll regenerate his body eventually, but it'll take a while, the blessed dice really packed a punch."

"I see…" Pikachu murmured, reluctantly sheathing his sword.

Ash shook his head in amazement. "How do you know so much about this sort of thing, Leo?"

Leo shrugged. "Internet." He glanced about the room. "Come on, now that Mewgle's gone we should be able to find the castle keys. Once we've got those, we can go kill the dragon and save Turtle Town!"

Ash nodded in agreement. "Right." He paused. "Wait. 'We?' Since when are you a part of this?"

Leo blinked. "Well, since I just helped save you guys asses, I figured that I automatically got to join your party, especially since I have a history with the dragon and a reason to fight it that gives me the kind of character development NPCs generally don't get it, logically making me one of the main characters."

Ash had no idea what he was talking about, but got the sinking feeling it didn't mean anything good. Frowning, he turned and met Pikachu's eyes. "I think we need to have a talk and clear a few things up…"

…

Meanwhile, back in Kanjohenn…

"I h-h-hate this m-mountain," a very cold Monferno sitting on top of an equally cold Rapidash said through chattering teeth, wrapping his cloak tightly around himself and trying to huddle closer to his mount's skin and alarmingly low flaming mane in an attempt to get warmer. The weakening horse also shivered and whinnied in agreement.

Lieutenant Ignik Firebottom—formerly _Captain_ Ignik Firebottom—did not like the cold. The ignorant would have pointed out that, as a Fire-type, his body heat should be warm enough not to be particularly bothered by it, which would cause him to laugh in their faces than rip out their throats with his teeth. Just because you had a burning tail and fire breath didn't mean you were perfectly all right in the frozen mountains making up most of the northeastern reaches of the continent, far from it, it just made it that much more likely to get frozen to death if melting snow fell on top of you or if an icy wind blew out your life-torch. Fire-types were meant to live in much warmer places, like jungles and forests and volcanoes, not in cold wet places like this frozen hell!

But he didn't exactly have a choice in the matter. Considering that he had lost his entire platoon to two Rescue Team members in pursuit of a single small Ratatta (One of those rescuers _blind_, of all things!), he was lucky to just get demoted and reassigned rather than killed. He hadn't bothered trying to explain the extenuating circumstances or how ridiculously _strong_ the Team had been to his superiors, since he knew that would have just made things worse. There was little compassion and mercy to be found anywhere in the Monkey King's army.

Trembling, he reached forward with blue fingers to gently stroke his steed's neck. "C-c-ome on, Blooddrinker, d-don't give up on me n-now, we're a-almost th-th-there." The ignorant might have mistaken this for genuine concern for the welfare of his mount, but the Monferno cared little for the Rapidash's health except in relation to his own, since if the horse dropped dead there would be no way for him to make it to his new station at the base on Mt. Freeze without doing the same.

_What does the King want up here, anyway?_ He grumbled to himself. _There's nothing here but ice and Ice Pokemon. Those stories about some super-powerful mystical Ninetales living around here are probably just rumors. After all, why would _ANY_ heat-loving Fire-type want to live in a place like this?!_ He whimpered as another gust of super-cold wind blew by, nearly extinguishing the flames on his steed's neck and causing him to hug himself even more tightly. _This is all the fault of that blind Lucario and the Pikachu with the sword. I swear, if I _ever_ see those two again, I'll make them regret this for the rest of their lives…which, if I have my way, won't be for very long!_

He gleefully distracted himself by thinking up delightfully cruel tortures and vengeances to exact on the duo who had ruined his life so he wouldn't have to think about the cold, and so did not notice someone was following him until it was too late and he had been knocked off his Rapidash by a flying kick. He screamed in alarm as he flew through the air and hit the snow, tumbling head over heels through the slush and nearly falling off the edge of the incredibly steep mountain trail he was on and down onto the very sharp rocks and ice crystals below. He leapt to his feet, eyes and burning tail filled with rage. "All right, who's the wise guy?!" His eyes widened in disbelief when he saw a familiar figure standing on top of a nearby boulder. "YOU!"

The blindfolded Lucario cocked his head in apparent puzzlement. "I'm sorry, but I don't believe we've met."

"Oh, I remember you all right! There are only so many blind Lucarios running around this continent!" Ignik snapped furiously. "Blooddrinker, get him!"

"Another Lucario? Interesting," the figure murmured to himself as Ignik's horse whinnied in rage, also remembering the Pokemon who had hurt it before, and charged towards the Lucario, horn-first, mane burning with new life. The Aura Pokemon didn't seem the least bit concerned. He shot out a paw just before the Rapidash could skewer him, grabbing it by the horn and stopping the horse right in its tracks. He then lifted the Rapidash in the air—_single-handed—_and casually threw it over his shoulder. The horse whinnied in alarm as it tumbled through the air and hit the snowpack behind the warrior, throwing bits of slush into the air and causing steam to rise as some of the Fire Pokemon's body heat melted the frozen ground. Ignik's jaw dropped as the warrior hopped off the boulder and walked towards him, the strange metal things on his staff—which he hadn't had before, along with that hat, Ignik realized—jangling in the wind. "Tell me more."

"I don't think so!" Ignik snarled, spitting fireballs at the Lucario. "Eat flaming death!"

The Aura Pokemon moved his head a few inches to the side without breaking his stride. The fireballs flew past him and collided with the stream of fire Blooddrinker had spewed at him from behind, creating an explosion which flung the wailing horse back against the hard mountain wall behind it and didn't affect the Lucario in one bit, other than mussing up his fur a little. Ignik gaped. The Lucario closed the distance between them, calmly grabbed him by the fur of his neck, and lifted him into the air, dangling him off the side of the cliff. "Now. I think you and I have a few things to discuss."

"A-anything! Just don't drop me!" the terrified monkey yelled.

"I have no intention of taking your life," the Lucario said calmly, and Ignik abruptly realized this couldn't be his nemesis, his voice was too different, and the warrior seemed much older and more experienced than the jackal he had fought before. "I simply have a few questions. You said you encountered a Lucario recently? Where? When?"

"I-in the forests near Pokemon Square," Ignik stammered, getting the feeling it would be a very bad idea to lie to this Lucario. "A little over a week ago."

The Lucario's hold on Ignik's neck tightened. "Pokemon Square? What was a barbarian like you doing there?"

"We were chasing an escaped criminal," Ignik said quickly. "But then that Lucario and his partner, a Pikachu with a sword, attacked us without provocation and wiped out my entire platoon! My horse and I were the only survivors!"

"I'm sure they had a good reason," the Lucario said flatly, causing Ignik to swallow. "Did you manage to get any names?"

"No," Ignik said hesitantly, hoping his captor wouldn't drop him for that lack of information. When he didn't, he continued. "They said they were part of a Rescue Team, though. And the Pikachu claimed to be the son of Raiki Thunderblade."

"Did he now?" The Lucario smiled slightly.

"Um, yeah. Can I go now? I don't like heights…" Ignik said weakly.

"One more question. What's a pair of Fire-types like you and your Rapidash doing in a place like this, so far from your home climate?" the Lucario asked.

"We've been reassigned up here due to our failure in capturing the escaped criminal," Ignik explained.

The Lucario frowned. "Reassigned? Are you saying there's some kind of outpost here?"

"An outpost? Heck no, an entire base!" Ignik said proudly. "The northeasternmost holding of his Majesty the Monkey King's territory!"

The Lucario started at that. "The Monkey King?! His territory has extended this far?!"

"Um. Yeah. He owns pretty much all the northern part of Kanjohenn too, except for the parts belonging to other barbarian lords," said Ignik, rather surprised by the Lucario's lack of knowledge about this. "Soon he'll rule the entire continent, and then the world! Haven't you been keeping up with the news? I thought everyone knew that."

"…" The Lucario's face twisted briefly into an expression of grief and loss. "I've been away too long…"

"Huh?" said the confused Ignik.

"This base. Where is it?" the Lucario demanded.

"Uh, I don't think I should tell you…they'll put my head on a platter…" Ignik said uneasily. The Lucario's grip started to loosen, which also had the benefit of loosening the monkey's lips. "Okay, okay, I'll tell you!" He pointed towards the imposing icy peak in the near distance. "It's over there! Halfway up the slope of Mt. Freeze! Nobody knows why His Majesty wants a base there, but there are rumors he wants to find and capture the legendary Ninetales that's supposed to live there…though it's probably just a myth, since I can't see why _any_ Fire-type would want to live in this place!"

The Lucario's face hardened. Abruptly, he flung Ignik to the side, throwing him into Blooddrinker, who had just been getting up, knocking both of them over into the snow. "Thank you for your help. You have been very informative." He turned and continued down the trail, heading towards the distant mountain.

"Huh? Hey! Hey, get back here!" Ignik yelled from under Blooddrinker, whom he was pinned under…again "You can't just walk away after that! Come back! Come back here and fight me!" The Lucario kept walking, giving no indication that he had heard him. Ignik whimpered pathetically. "Please don't leave me here…" The stranger walked out of sight and vanished.

The Monferno sighed and glanced up at his dazed companion. "I'm gonna get demoted again for this, aren't I?"

Blooddrinker neighed in the affirmative.

…

Well, bet you weren't expecting to see some of the bad guys in this chapter again, were you? And you can bet that this won't be the last time you see them again, either!

What did you think of Leo's big debut? Probably not what you expected either, huh? Don't worry, he'll be a full member of the party…eventually.

Tune in next time, as the party forms in earnest and they head for the dragon's castle! Oh, and that stranger Lucario guy does stuff.


	11. 2B a Hero

So, now that Leo's here, everything should be good, right?

Not so fast…

…

Disclaimer: No characters that don't belong to me are mine.

…

"Pleeeeease?"

"No!"

"Pretty pleeeeease?"

"No!"

"Pretty pleaaaaaase with a cherry on-"

"For the last time, no!" Ash snapped at their annoying tagalong.

Leo's shell sagged. "Aw, come on, you gotta let me join you guys and fight the dragon! I helped save your behinds from Mewgle, didn't I? I also found the drawbridge keys into the castle buried under all of Mewgle's junk! That proves I'd be a major asset to your adventuring party!"

Ash sighed. "While we _are_ grateful for your help back there-"

"Seriously, we probably would've been doomed without you," Pikachu agreed. "Though we probably would have found those keys eventually."

"Skill in a tabletop RPG—whatever the heck that is, I still don't know even though we spent most of the afternoon playing one—doesn't necessarily translate into the same kind of skill you need to hold your own in the real world," Ash finished.

Leo scowled. "Skill? Ha! You're talking to the guy who's memorized the fighting moves of every character in every martial arts movie, cartoon, or video game ever made; studied so much about tactics on real and fictional battlefields that my brain's a virtual military encyclopedia; learned every kind of variation conceivable on your basic and more advanced quests and adventures so that I can predict where the plot is flowing and see twists and tropes coming before anyone else; has totally unmatched hand-eye coordination due to MASTERING pretty much every rhythm, shooting, and timing-based game known to Pokemonkind, AND…" He paused for a very long moment. Ash initially thought he was trying to build up dramatic tension, but the Squirtle had actually just stopped to catch his breath, he wasn't used to all this walking, especially with all the stuff he was carrying around in his shell. "AND I have a personal vendetta against the dragon! I got skills, motivation, and a heart full of burning justice! What more do you guys need? Sign me up!"

Ash rolled his eyes, while Pikachu chuckled. Ever since Ash had told Leo in flat-out terms that he absolutely was not coming with them to fight the dragon, that it was too dangerous, the Squirtle had been doggedly pursuing them halfway across Green Meadow, stubbornly trying again and again to change their minds. While Ash was somewhat impressed by Leo's persistence, especially since he looked to be exhausting himself just keeping up with them, he still had no intention of taking the young untrained turtle into dangerous territory. Sighing, he turned around to face their follower. Leo was covered in sweat and looked to have a little trouble breathing, but his expression was just as determined as Ash's own whenever he absolutely refused to give up on something. Ash considered the young turtle for a moment, thinking he saw a bit of himself in the Squirtle.

He wasn't entirely sure that was a good thing. "Have you ever traversed a ninety-nine floor dungeon before?" Ash asked finally, intent on making Leo understand.

"Ha! Ninety-nine levels? I've beaten FIVE-HUNDRED floor dungeons!" Leo boasted. "Not to mention all the ones that didn't have as many floors but were still stupid hard…"

"Have you ever killed someone before? Not just defeated, but KILLED?" Ash asked.

"Thousands!" Leo bragged.

Ash nodded. "And have you ever slain a dragon?"

Leo's eyes narrowed. "Plenty."

The Lucario gave Leo a hard look. "Okay. How much of that stuff have you ever done in real life and not just in a game?"

Leo hesitated. "Uh…well…"

Ash nodded, unsurprised. "That's what I thought. And that's why you can't come with us. You haven't had any real-life experience with any of the sorts of things we're going to be doing today. Video games and board games and every other sort of game are no replacement for the real thing. No matter how skilled you are in the fantasy worlds you hang out in, Leo, you don't have what it takes to survive in our world. Not yet, anyway."

"Then why don't you let me come with you, so I can _get_ that experience? To learn what I need to do to survive?" Leo begged Ash.

Ash frowned seriously. "Because, if we're going to add another member to our party, we'd prefer it to be someone we can trust. Someone we know can watch our backs. Someone we know can take care of him or herself if he or she has to, because we can't defend him or her all the time. Do you think you can be any of that, Leo?"

"Y-yeah! No problem!" Leo said…although he didn't look so sure this time.

Ash shook his head. "You may think so…but we don't. And that's why you can't come with us. We're going to have to fight for our lives in that monster's castle, and bringing along someone who's never really fought before could be more of a liability than an aid. And that liability might just get us eaten alive. And then your village would be no better off than before, would it now?"

Leo's shell sagged. "No…I guess not…"

Ash nodded and turned away. "That's what I thought." He kept walking.

"A little harsh, don't you think?" Pikachu murmured to his partner.

"Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind," Ash said.

"You got that from a fortune cookie," Pikachu said flatly.

Ash's face flushed. "Yeah…well…fortune cookies say lots of smart things sometimes!"

"Didn't one say you were a very pretty woman once?" Pikachu recalled.

"No, that was Mom's," Ash insisted, his face red. "We swapped cookies."

"Suuuure you did," Pikachu said, a grin on his face.

"WAAAAAAIT!" Leo yelled.

Ash sighed. "He doesn't give up, does he?"

"Remind you of someone?" Pikachu joked.

They turned around to see Leo running towards them. The Squirtle stopped a few feet away, huffing and puffing, held up a finger, used his inhaler, then calmed down as he regained his breath. "You're right," he said, voice still a little winded from his very brief run. "I don't have the real-life experience that you guys do. And I probably would always need to get rescued. But that doesn't change the fact that I absolutely HAVE to come."

Ash frowned. "And why's that?"

"Like I said, I have a personal grudge against the dragon!" Leo told them.

"I understand that you want to help your town by getting rid of this monster, but-" Pikachu started.

"It's not just that," Leo said angrily. He clenched his fists. "I want revenge. The dragon ate my father."

There was a pause as the brothers processed this. "Was he one of the ones the dragon ate when your town couldn't give it enough food for the month?" Ash asked.

Leo shook his head. "No. He was one of the warriors who died on the first day the dragon came to our village, when all the fighters in town went out to slay it…and died trying." He took his glasses off and squeezed his eyes shut, holding back tears.

"My father was my hero," Leo said after a moment. "Always has been. Still is, really. He was one of the best fighters in the village, and was training me to carry on our warrior legacy once he died." Pikachu nodded, understanding at once. That was how his family worked, after all. "He always had high hopes for me. Even named me after one of the warriors who liberated us way back in the day and inspired my ancestors to learn martial arts so we wouldn't always just hide in our shells every time there was trouble."

"Wait, one of the warriors who saved your town was named Leonardo?" asked Ash, who thought that a very odd name for a warrior.

Leo nodded. "Yeah, he was the leader of a group called the Teenage Mutant Ninja Squirtles, time-displaced heroes from another world who landed in our universe on a journey to save their father."

Ash and Pikachu stared at him. "Time-displaced heroes," Pikachu said after a moment.

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Squirtles?" asked Ash. "In what way were they mutants?"

"Well, they were supposed to be really tall," Leo recalled. "And have longer and thicker arms than usual. Like most higher-leveled Fighting Pokemon. No tails, either."

"Ah," said a disturbed Ash.

"And…they came from another world to save you?" asked the incredulous Pikachu.

"Well, not _us_, per se," Leo clarified. "See, their master and father Shard the Raticate, who had raised the Squirtles since the day they had hatched from ooze-irradiated and mutated eggs, had his molecules scattered across time and space by accident while he and the Squirtles were traveling back to their own time from the future-"

"Wait, they traveled to our world from another world from another time altogether?!" cried an astonished Ash.

Leo nodded. "Yeah, they have all sorts of far-out adventures. Anyway, the smart Squirtle, Tom, rigged up a machine that would help them locate the pieces of Shard in all the other universes, and a few happened to be here in ours, so they came to our world. They found that the bits of their dad in our world were in the stronghold of the wicked bladed Scizor warlord named Slicer and his clan of Toe ninjas, the guys who'd taken over our land, so defeated the lot of them and collected the molecules, saving the countryside and the lot of us in the process. Then they went back to their world to continue their hunt for the splinters of Shard."

"Neat," said Ash.

"…You just made all of that up, didn't you?" asked a very skeptical Pikachu.

"Hey, it's the truth! Honest!" Leo cried indignantly. "At least, that's what the graphic novel historical adaptation said happened." Ash and Pikachu facefaulted. "Anyway…so like I said, my dad was training me to be the next big hero of our village. He felt, right from birth, that I'd make a legend for myself…or something like that." His face fell. "And then the dragon came…and everything changed. It showed up from out of nowhere, about six years ago, and rather rudely demanded we give it two-thirds of our crops every month or else it would destroy us all. Naturally, my dad and the other fighters in town weren't going to take that lying down, so they banded together in a large mob and set out for the castle where the beast had made its lair. Everyone in Turtle Town came out to send them off, and I cheered my dad on louder than anyone else. They were our best and our brightest, and we knew without a doubt that they'd defeat this threat to our well-being, just as they'd defeated so many others over the years.

"And then the dragon returned a few hours later, looking none the worse for wear, dumped a pile of bones in the village square, and told us that if we attacked it again, it would destroy the entire town. It left, and took all our hopes with it. If our strongest fighters couldn't stop the dragon…if my DAD couldn't stop it…then what chance could we possibly have of saving ourselves? All of us fell into despair…"

"Were your father's bones among the pile the monster returned?" Pikachu asked, feeling a kinship with Leo, who, like him, looked up to his father and was the son of a warrior legacy…though he clearly hadn't adhered to it as much as Pikachu had.

Leo shook his head. "No. My dad's bones are probably still in the dragon's castle…assuming they weren't completely digested, anyway. That's another reason I need to go…to get my father's remains and lay them at rest. And also because my father had the family heirloom when he died…an artifact which has been in our bloodline for generations, and has been wielded by countless turtley heroes in the battle against evil."

"Ooh, was it a sword? Pikachu has one of those," Ash said.

Pikachu nodded. "I do, it's rather nice."

Leo shook his head. "Nah, nothing that fancy, just a pair of sunglasses."

Ash and Pikachu stared at him. "…Sunglasses?" Ash asked in disbelief.

"Totally RADICAL sunglasses!" Leo corrected them, causing them to sweatdrop. "So radical that anyone who wears them is automatically the coolest of the cool, and can defeat any enemy! They're just that awesome."

"…Right. So, you're saying that, in spite of the fact that you're not exactly physically fit enough to do it and that the dragon swore to destroy the town if its inhabitants ever tried to oppose it again, you want to storm the monster's castle, slay the wyrm to avenge your father, and claim his remains and your legacy, even though it's just a pair of sunglasses?" Pikachu asked.

"Pretty much, yeah," said Leo. "And remember, they're totally RADICAL sunglasses, not your regular pair of shades." They sweatdropped again.

"Aren't you worried about the fact that if you lose—which is quite probable, given your physical condition—the dragon will kill everyone in Turtle Town?" Ash asked.

Leo scoffed. "You're assuming I'll lose! Once I find those shades, I'll be so badass nobody can defeat me!"

"Wasn't your father wearing those? And didn't he get defeated?" Pikachu pointed out.

Leo paused. "Huh. That's a good point. Never thought of that before…" They facefaulted. "But still, it won't be a problem, since I'll be fighting alongside you guys! With the unstoppable combination of a kickass samurai Pikachu with a holy sword, a Lucario Aura Guardian in-training, and the font of limitless information that's me wearing the sunglasses of sheer AWESOME, how can we possibly lose?"

"You're still assuming we're going to let you come," Ash said.

"Ah, but you will…" Leo said knowingly. "After I finish telling you my backstory, you'll have a change of heart and let me join the party! It's the rules."

"Yeah, maybe in your video game, but not in real life," Ash said, turning away. "Bye."

"Hey, you can't leave before I finish telling my backstory! This is a character-building moment! Plus, it's just rude," Leo protested.

Ash groaned. "Do I have to?"

"Oh, just hear him out. Besides, I love a good story," Pikachu said soothingly. Grumbling, Ash acquiesced.

"So, where was I?" Leo asked. "Oh, right, our greatest heroes were dead and we all fell into bleak despair. The Mayor desperately tried to get people to come here and help us by slaying the dragon, but the dragon ate them too and encouraged the Mayor to keep luring more people here so that it could have a steady diet of hapless adventurers. It even got Mewgle in on the act. As weeks turned into months and months turned into years without any glimmer of salvation in sight, we lost most of the hope we had left and accepted our grim fate."

"How depressing," Pikachu said sadly.

Leo shook his head. "You have no idea. When we weren't working the fields to feed ourselves and the dragon or doing all the other countless relevant tasks necessary to keep ourselves going, we were doing everything we could to escape the miserable dead-end situation our life had become by immersing ourselves in pointless hobbies or becoming totally obsessed with the fantasy worlds and ideal lives presented to us by television, which the dragon had been kind enough (or cruel enough) to let us keep having. Everyone got hooked on a different type of media. My mom developed a craving for soap operas. Our next-door neighbor got addicted to game shows. And the mayor, he loves reality shows, especially the ones where a bunch of clueless Pokemon are dumped on a shithole island in the middle of nowhere and forced to fend for and fight amongst themselves. And me? I got into video games, MMORPGs, tabletop role-playing games, anime…anything that distracted me from the reality I was stuck in and allowed me to pretend that, for a little while, I was somebody else. Somebody who could make a difference. A hero…" He shook his head. "Looking back, I think part of the reason I got so caught up in those games was because they made me feel closer to my father.

"Rather than becoming an actual hero, of course, all I did was get fatter and fatter as I ate lots of junk food and allowed my health to decline so that I could spend more time playing my games and blot out the rest of the world, so that I could forget that my father was dead, that our town had been enslaved by an evil dragon who could eat us at a moment's notice, and that I was digging myself deeper and deeper into a hole of…of…" He frowned. "Something. Not sure what."

"Didn't your mom try to stop you?" Ash asked.

Leo snorted. "At first. But she was the same way…she didn't want to deal with my dad's death, either. Guess that's why she started packing the pounds…and smoking again." He shook his head sadly. "Of course, she is a Torkoal, so it's not exactly _bad _for her to smoke, but you know what I mean."

"Wait, if most of Turtle Town was farming food for the dragon, why weren't you?" Pikachu asked. "Wouldn't that have kept you fit and in shape?"

Leo flushed. "Uh, funny story…"

Ash smirked. "Let me guess, you were banned from the fields, weren't you?"

"It was an accident!" Leo blurted. "How was I supposed to know harvesters didn't work that way?! Oy…and I really scratched up Old Man Grotty's shell something fierce. He sure gave me a tongue-lashing for that, let me tell you…" He paused. "Speaking of which, what was I telling you?"

"How your depression was turning you into an obese entertainment addict who spent all his time eating junk food and playing games in his mother's basement?" Ash guessed.

Leo nodded. "Yeah, that…wait, how'd you know it was in her basement?"

The Lucario shrugged. "Lucky guess."

Leo frowned. "Right…anyway, yeah, I was turning into a couch potato. I'm amazed my shell was even able to hold all my…fat, seriously. So I kept on playing as time went on, living vicariously through heroic characters and going on epic fantasy (and sci-fi) adventures that I'd never be able to experience except in my dreams (or in fanfiction), slaying countless digital dragons and feeling as if each one were the monster terrorizing our town, but killing them never saved us or brought my father back. I knew what I was doing to myself, on some level, but I had stopped caring long ago. Without my father, it didn't seem like life mattered anymore.

"And then I finally got my wake-up call. One day, a couple of years back, the dragon came a' calling and we didn't have enough food for it. We'd had a bad growing season, but the dragon didn't care for excuses, so took what we could give it and ate a friend of mine who lived just down the lane, someone I'd been pals with for years and had known ever since I was a little kid. And…it wasn't just the fact that he died so suddenly that brought me to my senses, but the fact that everyone grieved for a bit and then kept going like nothing had happened. Like his death hadn't meant anything, because we were too busy feeling sorry for ourselves to care about anyone else. And that made me realize the full enormity of what we had become, and of what I had done to myself. I had come way too close to shutting out the real world forever and losing myself in the fantasy worlds of my games, leaving everyone else to suffer in their own way. What kind of hero does something like that? I realized my father would have been immensely disappointed in my behavior. So I swore that I'd change, that I'd get myself out of my rut, get back in shape, and do whatever it took to kill that stupid dragon and get things back to normal again!"

"So that's when you quit video games and started training again?" Ash guessed.

Leo paused. "Uh…actually, I played even more games than ever…and I started reading comic books and watching cult sci-fi shows and movies, too." Ash and Pikachu facefaulted. "But it was for a purpose this time!" the Squirtle insisted. "Like I said earlier, I played the games to better myself…to understand the world outside Turtle Town, and to make me ready to be an adventurer! I also started exercising again to try and get back into shape, and let me tell you, it hasn't been easy. I've been working out for about three years now, and I'm _still_ not back to my original weight and build! Maybe my bones got bigger or something…or my shell expanded to make room for my bulk and won't get smaller now that I'm not as fat as I used to be. On the plus side, at least I have more room to store my things in here!"

Ash stared at how…well, pudgy Leo already was. "If you're more fit than you used to be, I'd hate to see what you looked like befpre…"

"Trust me, this is a HUGE improvement compared to _that_," Leo assured him. "Anyway, it pretty quickly became clear to me that getting in shape again wouldn't be enough to make me ready to fight the dragon…especially considering how little effect my workout routines were having…so when I wasn't exercising or playing games, I did research on the Internet, so that I could arm myself with knowledge, the strongest weapon of all, aside from thermonuclear missiles or antimatter bombs. I had already decided I wouldn't be able to defeat the dragon on my own, but thought that if I could store enough information in my head and make myself into a real asset, I might be able to convince one of the bunches of mercenaries or adventurers who periodically came to town to try and slay the beast to take me with them.

"I ate up everything I could find. I learned the complete anatomy of every kind of Dragon-type Pokemon, including their strengths, weak points, and what every part of their body can be used for. I studied demonology, learning some of the forbidden lore of the Abyss, especially what I would need to defeat Mewgle and all sorts of other unholy abominations, should I ever encounter them. I played games and simulations for just about every kind of emergency or situation I might find myself in, and read a bunch of Nurse Joy's medical textbooks so I could figure out how to help clean and bind wounds, mend broken bones, and fix other things that might happen out in the field, far from any Pokemon Center. I learned about every kind of Pokemon and monster there is, both real and fictional, in case I might bump into one and need to know how to fight it. I took tons of online courses to learn as much as I could in every field imaginable, until I knew things guys twice my age don't! I practiced martial arts moves to try and get fit, like I said before, though since mostly I wound up wearing myself out and just making a fool of myself I resorted to my mom's old fitness videos instead.

"Once I was thinner, I started trying to convince the adventurers who came through town that I'd be a big help to their quest, what with my head full of near-infinite knowledge and not-entirely-useless trivia. However, most of them weren't really impressed and either politely told me that it was too dangerous for a kid like me or rudely told me to get out of their way." Leo frowned. "And I'm not a kid. I'm fifteen. Geez. Anyway, their rejections didn't keep me down, and I kept trying, knowing one day the right group of heroes would come…and I was right. You're here, aren't you?"

Ash rubbed the back of his head, flattered and a little embarrassed. "How come you didn't ask to come with us?" Pikachu asked. "When we first met you, I mean."

"I was too intimidated by your sheer…coolness," Leo confessed, somewhat embarrassed. "It's never happened to me before. Sorry. But…none of the other heroes and mercenaries and whoever that came through town were ANYTHING like you guys. I mean, seriously, an honest-to-goodness samurai and Aura Guardian, even if he's just in training? Those are wicked cool! That's how I knew, when I was listening to your conversation with the Mayor from outside his window-"

"Wait, you were eavesdropping on us?!" asked an alarmed Ash.

Leo rolled his eyes. "Well, duh, how else would I know whether the latest bunch of adventurers coming to try and slay the dragon were worth helping? I do that every time a new gang comes in town."

"Oh," Ash said, rather disturbed.

"Anyway," Leo continued. "While a lot of the guys who've turned me down over the years were pretty cool, none of them impressed me in quite the same way you did. And that's why I overcame my fears and total fanboyism and followed you guys to Mewgle's place, when all the other times I'd just let the other heroes go off and do their own thing and get eaten." He smirked. "It probably helped that you hadn't actually turned me down at that point, like the others did…"

"We're turning you down now," Ash said. "So why are you still following us?"

Leo shrugged. "Hey, I made it this far, didn't I? Might as well go all the way."

"Be that as it may," said Pikachu. "I'm still afraid we can't let you come with us."

Leo's jaw dropped. "What?! No way! I just poured my heart out to you and told you my backstory, you're supposed to let me go!"

"Life isn't like a video game," Ash said. "And in any event, while I'm impressed that you've spent all this time training…well, in your own way…to be of assistance to someone, I still don't think you're ready."

"Why not?" Leo asked angrily.

"Do you happen to have anything in that shell of yours right now that doesn't consist of hardware, software, boards, dice, tokens, and other assorted gaming items?" Ash asked.

Leo paused. "Uh, well…I have some DVDs…and a book or two…"

"Do you have any food? Water? Rope? Weaponry? Curative items?" Ash pressed.

Leo fidgeted. "Not…as much, no…I mean, I have some snacks, and a couple of soft drinks, and most of the stuff from my mom's medicine cabinet…and some of her silverware…not the good stuff, though, she'd kill me if I lost it…"

"And that's why you can't come," Ash said. "I mean, aside from all the other obvious reasons. A good adventurer always packs for any contingency. All you packed for was to deal with Mewgle, and maybe to go over and play at a friend's house."

Leo frowned. "Well, we don't exactly have a lot of things good for storming castles or slaying dragons in Turtle Town, you know. But…" He sighed, giving in. "Maybe you're right. I was in a bit of a hurry to catch up with you, but I guess I could have packed better. I don't suppose you'd be willing to wait for me to go home, drop some of my junk off, and get some more useful things?"

"No," said Ash.

Leo nodded sadly. "Yeah, that's what I figured. Well, good luck fighting the dragon, then." Rather dejected, he turned and started walking away.

Ash couldn't help but feel a little bad for Leo. "I didn't mean to crush his hopes," he confessed to Pikachu. "But everything I said was true, you know that. He's not ready for this sort of thing. No matter how much useless trivia is crammed in his head, it's not the same thing as actual experience, or at the very least, a finely-toned fighting body. He doesn't have any of that. All he's got is a shell full of games."

Pikachu froze. "Wait," he said, an odd look on his face. "Do you remember Sabrina's last prophecy? The one she gave us before we left Pokemon Square?"

Ash frowned in thought. "Uh…no, but I remember it was something pretty stupid. Wasn't it?"

"She said, 'You'll have a shell of a time getting the first treasure key if you don't have a shell,'" Pikachu recalled. "Now, what exactly does Leo have that we don't?"

Ash gave him an incredulous look. "No," he said, shaking his head in denial. "No, you can't mean…"

"If not him, then who?" Pikachu asked.

"You know how weird prophecies are," Ash argued. "How its actual meaning could turn out _not_ to be what you thought it would be."

"Do you really want to risk ignoring what she might have meant in her prophecy, then?" Pikachu asked. "And maybe getting us killed?"

Ash hesitated for a moment. "I…no. No, I guess not." He sighed. "Hey, Leo!"

Leo stopped. "Yeah?"

"Come back over here. We need to talk to you," Ash said resignedly.

It was almost pathetic how quickly Leo's mood changed as he eagerly ran back over to them, stopped, gasped for breath, used his inhaler, and then slowly walked the rest of the way. "What is it? Did you change your mind?"

"Something like that…" Ash said.

"A friend of ours back home, a seer, gave us a prophecy before we left," Pikachu told Leo. "One which seems to imply we need your help to defeat the dragon."

Leo's jaw dropped. "OH. MY. ARCEUS. Are you freaking kidding me?! I'm in a _prophecy?!_ Dude, that is _so_ cool! What is it? Tell me, tell me!" he begged eagerly.

"'You'll have a shell of a time getting the first treasure key if you don't have a shell,'" Pikachu recited.

Leo frowned in thought. "Huh…kind of an odd prophecy…but I've heard worse. Yeah, I can see why you'd think I'd have something to do with it. But what's this about treasure keys? Oh! Wait, I know, it's that star-shaped jewel you told the Mayor about!" he exclaimed before Ash or Pikachu could tell him. "Let me guess, it's one of a set of approximately seven cosmic or magical Macguffins that, when brought together, can cause untold destruction in the wrong hands, so you guys need to gather all of them up before the bad guys, a shadowy organization that seeks to rule the world, can get them! And those ladyfriends of yours you told the Mayor went missing looking for the jewel must have gotten kidnapped by the bad guys, and you think that if you can collect all the keys you can save them! Am I right or am I right?"

Ash and Pikachu gaped at him. "How…how did you…" Ash asked, stunned.

Leo snorted. "Please, most overused fantasy plot ever. Saw it coming a mile away. So, what are these treasures, and what can they do? Who're the bad guys? Tell me everything! If I was in a prophecy stating you'd need my help to get the first of these things, then you'll probably need me for the others, too!"

Somewhat reluctantly, they told him about the full extent of their mission. Leo ate it all up ecstatically; clearly overjoyed to be in the middle of the sort of adventure he'd only experienced before in video games. "Whoa…seven Star Badges, a big evil door beneath Treasure Town, and a mysterious group called the Nihilators? Well, it fits the formula for quite a few games I've played, but…oddly enough, I've never heard of any of those things before. Well, the legend of the treasure beneath the town, yeah, but none of the other stuff. And that's weird, because the Internet's supposed to know _everything_."

"We think that the dragon has the first of the seven badges," Pikachu explained.

Leo nodded. "Yeah, that'd make sense…well then, what are we waiting for? Let's go slay the beast and get that badge!"

"Not so fast," Ash said abruptly. "While the prophecy may have said you should join us…I'm still not entirely sure you're ready."

Leo gave Ash an incredulous look. "Oh, come on! What do you want from me now?!"

"Hit me," said Ash.

Leo blinked. "Huh?"

"Hit me," Ash repeated. "If you can hit me with one attack, then I'll let you join us."

"Oh," said the surprised Leo. "I see. Like in anime, huh? Okay, hold on a sec…"

"You sure this is a good idea?" Pikachu asked Ash.

"Don't worry, I'll go easy on him," Ash smirked…and almost got hit by a series of large Bubbles Leo spat at him. He jumped to the side just in time, the Bubbles bursting where he and Pikachu had just been standing. "What was that?!" he demanded angrily.

"Oh, I'm sorry, were you not ready?" Leo asked with a grin. "You didn't say I had to wait for you. After all, it's not like in a real battle your enemy's going to wait before making his move, right?"

"He has a point," Pikachu said.

Ash fumed. "_I'm_ the one who's supposed to be teaching him that!"

"Yeah, well, it doesn't matter, because I win," Leo said.

Ash blinked. "Huh? No you didn't, your bubbles didn't hit me."

"No, but when they popped some of the water from them got sprinkled on your fur," Leo said. "Just look at your arm if you don't believe me!"

Ash glanced down at his arm. Sure enough, some of his fur and the tip of his knuckle spike were damp. "That doesn't count," he protested, his face turning red. "It wasn't a direct hit!"

Leo threw up his arms in exasperation. "Oh, a _direct_ hit he says! Well, why didn't you say that in the first place! Geez! Could you _be_ any less clear!" Ranting, he stomped over to the confused Ash, still waving his hands in the air. "How's a guy supposed to accomplish a stupidly biased challenge if the arbitrary rules aren't made explicitly clear right from the start?!"

"Hey, they are _not_ arbitrary-" Ash started, letting down his guard in annoyance and allowing Leo to turn and, with astonishing speed, ram his head right into the Lucario's crotch. Ash gasped and fell to the ground, clutching himself in pain.

"You really need to be more careful defending yourself," Leo lectured Ash, waving a finger mockingly.

"Shouldn't you be the one humiliating himself and slowly learning from your mistakes as Ash easily fends off your attacks?" Pikachu asked Leo.

Leo snorted. "Dude, I've watched every martial arts movie ever, remember? Like I'm really going to fall into that cliched pattern."

"Low blow," Ash grunted, staggering back to his feet. "One more time!"

Leo rolled his eyes. "One more…oh fine. Here we go." He clenched his fists and tensed his muscles. Ash crouched into a fighting stance. Leo abruptly gasped and pointed behind Ash. "OHMIGOD, IT'S THE DRAGON!"

"What?!" Alarmed, Ash whirled around, gathering Aura to his fists…and yelped loudly as Leo bit his tail. "OUCH!"

"Ptoo! You need to wash more," Leo complained as he spat black fur from his mouth. "Ugh, that tasted disgusting!"

Pikachu fell to the ground, clutching his sides with laughter. Wincing, Ash turned around, an enraged look on his face. "I…you…_you_…."

"Yeah? What about me?" Leo asked wryly.

Ash glared at him for a moment, then burst into laughter and offered Leo a paw. "Okay, I admit it, you might have some skills after all. I forgot, sometimes it's not the size of your muscles but the strength of your brain that can win a battle, and the ability to think outside the box."

Leo rolled his eyes and shook Ash's hand. "Well, obviously, why do you think I've been spending all this time cramming stuff into my brain? So, this mean I'm on the team?"

"Definitely," said Ash. "Welcome to Team Aurabolt!"

"Awesome! Do I get a badge and nifty bandana like you guys?" Leo asked.

"In fact, you do," Pikachu said, taking the Team's tool kit out of his knapsack (Yes, it fit in there somehow. If Leo can stuff all that crap in his shell, why not?), flipping it open, and removing a bandana and a plain badge from inside, both of which he handed to Leo. "I brought along a few of these just in case we made any new friends," he explained to both the Squirtle and his partner. "It's not a Diamond-rank badge like ours, since we couldn't exactly cart that many jewels around safely—and because you're new—but if you work at it, you can raise your rank and experience enough to earn one of the more prestigious badges later."

"Dude," whispered Leo, his eyes watering up and his face a frozen mask of joy. "This…this is…this is the happiest moment of my life!" he squealed, bursting into comical anime tears. "If only Dad could see me now, he'd be so proud of me!"

"Yes, we're proud too, can you stop the waterworks please?" Ash asked.

"Huh? Oh, sorry." Leo calmed himself down. He pinned the badge to his chest, wrapped the bandana around his neck, and then struck a pose. "Yatta! I did it! I've taken my first step towards becoming a true hero!"

"What does 'yatta' mean?" asked Ash.

"It means 'I did it', pretty much," Pikachu explained.

Leo nodded. "Yeah, it's my catchphrase. Well, actually it's the catchphrase of one of the main characters on one of my favorite TV shows—he's a lot like me, actually--but I don't think he'd mind if I borrowed it, do you?"

"Uh, no, I suppose not," said Ash.

"Awesome," said Leo. "Now…the only thing that would make this cooler would be if we all had matching color-coded jumpsuits. I don't suppose you guys would happen to have some giant robots lying around and a hankering to be Power Rangers, would you?"

Ash and Pikachu exchanged uncertain looks. What had they just gotten themselves into?

…

The dragon's lair looked like your standard medieval castle. There were big, imposing stone walls with lots of crenellations, tall towers with turrets and conical roofs, and a great looming keep squatting in the center of it all. The castle was also surrounded by a moat, but, rather than water, this protective trench was a surprisingly wide and deep chasm with several thousand incredibly sharp spikes lining the bottom, a truly impassable obstacle for someone who couldn't fly.

"So, this is the dragon's lair, huh?" Ash asked, appraising the gloomy edifice. "It's in much better shape than Mewgle's dump."

"Other than the few glaring giant holes gaping open in the sides of the structure here and there…like that one," Pikachu said, pointing to an especially large opening in the wall at the top of the tallest and thickest tower.

"The dragon must have made those so it could go in and out of the place easier," Leo reasoned. "It's probably sitting in that tower right now, watching…and waiting…"

"What makes you think it's up in that tower, rather than in the keep or anywhere else?" Ash asked.

"Because the bad guy, be it a dragon or anyone else, is almost _always_ at the top of the tallest tower," Leo said, as if it were obvious. "Where else would they be?"

As Ash rolled his eyes in exasperation, Pikachu said, "He may have something, actually. From a tactical standpoint, there aren't many better places the beast could choose to make its roost. The tower's big enough to support it, and from up there it not only has a good view of everything for miles around, but it would also be able to take flight fairly easily from such a high altitude, rather than needing to work to get itself off the ground."

"Hmm…" Ash closed his eyes and examined the castle with Aura-vision. "You're right," he said. "I can see a HUGE life-form in that tower…it must be the dragon. Its Aura is…odd, but it's definitely the dragon."

Pikachu looked at Ash. "Odd? In what way? It's not a Shadow Pokemon, is it?"

Ash shook his head. "No, definitely not. And it's not like Mewgle's place or Treasure Town, it…I'm not sure. Just seems weird somehow. Not the sort of Aura most living things give off." He frowned. "I also detect what look like…maybe more Auras in there with the dragon. I can't make out what they are from here, though."

"More Auras? As in other living things?" asked the puzzled Pikachu. "That's odd…why would the dragon have something like that in its lair?"

"Maybe they're prisoners that the dragon's saving to eat later?" Leo suggested. He gasped. "Oh! Which means they might be some people from my town, or another bunch of failed adventurers! But…" His face fell. "No, my dad can't be one of them…that was six years ago…"

"I don't know what they are, I just know they're with the dragon," Ash said. He took a look at the rest of the castle. "There's nothing else living here. The residual Auras are a little strange, but nothing that seems…I dunno, striking. This place doesn't seem to have as much of an evil presence as Mewgle's lair or Treasure Town, like I said before."

"Really? Weird," commented Leo. "From what I hear, the guy who used to live here was pretty nasty."

"You called him the Slicer, didn't you?" Pikachu recalled.

Leo nodded. "That's right. He was the merciless leader of the Toe ninja clan…until the Teenage Mutant Squirtles defeated him and caused the clan to leave here, that is."

"Well, a warlord isn't quite on the same level as a demon from the Abyss, or…whatever that door is," Pikachu said.

"Good point," Leo admitted.

"So," Ash said, opening his eyes again. "How do we get in?"

They found the answer to that a little ways around the perimeter of the moat. A pair of waist-high stone pedestals stood on the edge of the incline leading down to the spike pit, separated by about five feet. They were placed directly across from a large and imposing portcullis lowered shut over the huge main archway that was the main entrance leading into the castle. There was a wide slot of some kind in the rock wall directly underneath the arch, and a pair of thick chains ran out from the inside of the slot and fed into holes on the opposite side of the moat, right beneath the two pedestals. "This is the drawbridge mechanism," Leo explained to the senior explorers as they examined the strange contraption. "We need to insert those keys Mewgle was holding onto into those slots on the front of the pedestals to get into the castle. Simple design."

"Why hasn't anyone ever just walked across those chains and climbed up the castle wall?" Ash asked.

"Not everyone has your sense of balance," Pikachu said dryly. "Plus, that thing's pretty sheer, I doubt it would be easy to do. Considering all those skeletons impaled on the spikes down there, I think some people have been desperate enough to try anyway."

Ash looked down into the moat. "Ah," he said. "I see. That's an awful lot of bones."

"Maybe the dragon dumps some of them down there once it's finished eating its prey," Leo suggested. He hesitated. "Do you think…"

"Leo, even if your father's bones were down there, I wouldn't recommend trying to go get them," Pikachu said. "It's pretty much a guaranteed death."

Leo sighed. "Yeah, you're probably right…"

"So, let's get inside," Ash said. He pulled one of the keys from his knapsack. Rather than looking like a regular key, it was a small dull stone shaped like a sun. Pikachu took the second key from his knapsack Fittingly; it was shaped like a moon. They walked over to the pedestals and placed the stones in the appropriate slots.

The ground beneath them rumbled slightly. The chains rattled, creaked, and began to move as ancient machinery beneath their feet reeled them in. As the chains were dragged out from the slot across the chasm, they pulled something else with them; a rectangular stone platform which turned out to be long enough to span the entire moat and fit neatly into a groove between the two holes the chains were being pulled into that the trio had not noticed before. The near end of the platform sank into the groove with a thud, creating a great gray bridge which provided the heroes with passage across the spiky pit.

"Neat," said Ash.

"Eh, I've seen cooler bridges," Leo said dismissively.

"Look, the portcullis is rising," Pikachu said, pointing towards the archway across from them. The barred gate was slowly rising up into a recessed niche above the entrance, giving the Rescue Team a way into the castle.

"Why's it doing that?" Ash asked.

"The drawbridge and gate are connected to the same mechanism, obviously," Leo said. "After all, there isn't really any point in activating one but not the other, now is there?"

"Wouldn't it make for better security if they were activated separately?" Ash asked.

"If you kept the bridge up but closed the gate, you would allow invaders to be able to bash their way in," said Pikachu. "While if you left the gate open but retracted the bridge, there's a chance somebody might be able to jump or fly right through. I suppose it's more efficient for them to be hooked up to the same machinery."

"I guess so…" Ash murmured.

They crossed the bridge and passed through the archway. Leo glanced back over his shoulder as they went down the wide tunnel leading into the castle, a surprised look on his face. "Huh. I was expecting the portcullis to come crashing down and seal us in the instant we went past it."

"Why?" Pikachu asked.

"To keep us from escaping, of course. And to be scary," Leo said.

"That's silly," Ash snorted.

"Don't be so sure," Pikachu murmured, glancing upward. "Let's try not to give the dragon any ideas, shall we?"

As they walked down the passageway, they did not see what had appeared to be a perfectly innocent patch of grass lift itself off the ground, a dark figure climbing out from under its faux green cover and dashing across the bridge and into the castle with surprising speed and silence, unnoticed by the adventurers as it traveled from shadow to shadow behind them.

They continued through the tunnel, ignoring the myriad passageways branching off on either side of them (their unseen follower, on the other hand, did not, and disappeared into one of them), and came out the other end to find themselves in a broad courtyard. The looming towers surrounding them on all sides blotted out the sun and cast long shadows that covered the ground.

Shadows weren't all that covered it, though. "Ew," said Ash, wrinkling his nose in disgust at the literally thousands of old yellow bones, many of which looked as if they had either had the flesh burned off of them or been thoroughly nibbled on by something with very large teeth, scattered about in piles all over the courtyard. "Well, I guess the dragon doesn't throw the remains in the moat, after all."

"Ugh…this is horrible," whispered a stunned Leo, looking around at all the bones lying around. "All this can't be from the turtles the dragon's taken from town. These must be what's left of all the warriors and heroes and adventurers we've been sending to fight the dragon…geez…it doesn't look as if any of them stood a chance." He turned pale, looking as if he were going to throw up. "So many…all this…this is our fault…we begged them to come here, we asked and we paid them to save us, and all that happened was…was…" He started trembling and covered his hands with his eyes. "This…"

"Hey," Ash said firmly, putting a hand on Leo's shoulders. "This isn't the fault of you or the villagers. All the people here came of their own free will, hoping they'd slay the dragon and do a good deed, or at least earn some prestige and cash. It's the dragon's fault that they're all like this, not the people of Turtle Town."

Quivering, Leo looked up at Ash. "Even if you're right…what's to keep us from winding up just like these guys? Like…like my dad?" He looked like he was either about to cry or start hyperventilating or both.

"Leo," Pikachu said quickly. "It's not too late for you to turn back. There's still time for you to leave if you don't think you're ready for this."

Leo pushed Ash's hand off his shoulder, shaking his head adamantly. "N-no way! I can't leave! You guys need me, that seer friend of yours said so! And…and if I turned back, after making it this far…I'd never be able to forgive myself. I _have_ to do this, for my dad, and everyone else in town, and everybody the dragon's eaten! I _have_ to go on!"

Ash nodded, hiding a smile. "Okay, then. If you're positive. But keep close, okay?"

Leo nodded fervently. "Absolutely! If there's anything that horror movies have taught me, it's that the geeky unpopular guys are always first to go if they don't stick to the main group! Of course…they usually get killed anyway…"

"Life isn't like a horror movie," Pikachu said.

"You can still say that looking at all _this?!_" Leo asked incredulously, gesturing at the hundreds of broken skeletons surrounding them.

"We've seen worse," Pikachu said a little uncertainly.

"At least all the flesh is gone from the bones," Ash said morbidly. "You should see fields and trenches full of the freshly killed. That's _really_ something worth throwing up at."

Leo grimaced. "Ew."

"Guess you don't see much of that sort of thing in your games, huh?" Pikachu asked.

"Hmm? Oh no, there's actually a few shockingly realistic battlefield games that are surprisingly good at simulating blood and death and gore and trying to get the horrors of war across to the player," Leo said. "With corpses and severed limbs and organs flying all over the place! They're totally awesome! It just seems different seeing it on a screen as opposed to real life, though."

"Reality is always different from how you imagine it," Pikachu said.

"Hey, speaking of which, have you ever decapitated someone? What was it like?" Leo asked Pikachu.

Pikachu sweatdropped. "Not as cool as my father and brother seem to think it is…"

Ash used his Aura-sight again to pinpoint the dragon's location. "It's still in the tower, and it still has those strange other energy signatures with it. No clue what they are. And that weird Aura I mentioned before is all around us, but…it doesn't seem to be doing anything. Not like the Aura in Treasure Town."

"Around us? As in, we're breathing it in?!" asked an alarmed Leo. "Oh crap, what if I'm allergic to it?! I have enough trouble breathing as is, why do you think I carry an inhaler around all the time?!"

"No, Aura is incorporeal. It passes through you and permeates your body and spirit," Ash said. "It runs through all things, living or otherwise."

Leo sweatdropped. "Wow, that really reassures me. Hmm, sounds like the Force."

"The what?" Ash asked.

"A mystical energy force flowing through all things that a heroic order called the Jedi Knights can use to do all sorts of cool stuff. They're totally awesome…like Aura Guardians, but most of them are aliens, and they've got kickass laser swords," Leo said excitedly. He sighed. "I wish I had a lightsaber."

"Yes, well, these 'Jedi' and their 'Force' are fictional, whereas Aura Guardians and Aura are real," Ash said a little stiffly, secretly wishing that he had a laser sword too. That sounded neat. But then Pikachu might be annoyed, since he was supposed to be the 'sword guy' of the team…

"Actually, since the Omniverse has an almost infinite number of alternate worlds, there's actually a pretty good chance that the Jedi _do_ exist somewhere-" Leo started.

"Okay, we really don't need to waste anymore time talking about this," Pikachu interrupted before they could get into a huge metaphysical debate. "Ash, it's in the tallest tower, right? Then that means we should probably go…that way," he said, pointing at the front entrance of the keep at the far end of the courtyard. The structure was so big that its facade made up a fourth of the walls surrounding the courtyard, and was covered in broken carvings, scorch marks, and frighteningly large claw gouges that had ripped enormous chunks of stone from the face of the building. "I think the tower we want is growing from near the back of that place. So we need to get inside."

"Good thing the door's open," Ash said.

"Actually, the door's over there," Leo said, pointing to a pile of very large burnt wooden splinters lying near the jagged opening in the front of the keep that had at one point been a gateway.

Ash sweatdropped. "Whatever. Let's go."

"Right! And, uh…if you see a skeleton of a Wartortle with a really wicked-looking pair of glasses, let me know, okay?" Leo asked.

They walked across the scorched and blasted courtyard, picking their way through the haphazardly scattered piles of bones. "Seriously, why does the dragon keep these things around?" Ash asked. "They're not even trophies like this, just…garbage. But if it's garbage, why doesn't the dragon just dump them in the moat outside rather than leaving them to gather dust out here?"

"Maybe it still likes to chew on them from time to time?" Pikachu suggested.

"Or maybe it's just really possessive. Dragons are supposed to be like that," Leo added.

"Could be…" Ash's ears twitched. He stiffened. "Did you just hear that?"

"No Ash, our hearing isn't as good as yours," Pikachu said flatly.

"Really? Those ears look pretty big…" Leo said.

"They're actually more for show than you might expect," Pikachu explained.

Ash frowned. "I thought I heard something. Bone clattering against bone. Lots of bones."

"It was probably just the wind knocking over a loose shingle on the roof. Or some of the bones in the piles we've passed shifting from our touching them and dislodging other bones, causing them to tumbles down the sides," Pikachu said rationally.

"Or it could have been the bones pulling themselves together to form an army of undead skeletons to rip us to shreds," Leo said seriously.

Pikachu snorted. "Don't be ridiculous."

Leo gave Pikachu a hard look. "Dude, haven't you _ever_ seen a horror movie? Or played a survival horror game?"

Pikachu sighed. "Leo, life is _not_ like-"

"LOOK OUT!" Ash yelled, firing an Aura Sphere over Pikachu's head. It smashed into the immense jaws of the animated Loudred skeleton that had been sneaking up on them from behind, exploding and blowing the monster apart from within. However, the skeleton was only the first of many, and all around them the bone piles clattered and shook as body parts flew together from all over the courtyard to reassemble the various scattered corpses into an army of the walking dead.

Pikachu's jaw dropped. "How…how did…"

"I told you, dude! I TOLD YOU!" Leo shouted, throwing his arms up in the air.

"Guess this explains the weird energy I detected," Ash grunted.

"But how…how is this possible?! DEAD BODIES DO NOT GET UP AND START TRYING TO KILL PEOPLE!" Pikachu yelled.

"You're carrying a holy sword, live in a world full of magical things including GHOSTS, just got here from the lair of a literal demon from Hell and you still think that?!" Leo asked incredulously.

Pikachu paused. "…That's a good point, actually."

"There sure are a lot of them!" Ash said, generating another Aura Sphere and hurling it at a group of rabid undead Mareep rushing towards them, blowing the lot of them to bits and not even putting a dent in the steadily increasing numbers of the skeleton horde as more and more bones pulled themselves together.

"Oh, don't worry, skeletons are pushovers when they're not carrying any weapons," Leo assured his friends. "As long as these aren't the regenerating kind, anyway." It was at that moment that the bones of the Loudred that Ash had blown apart flew back together and reassembled themselves to form a complete skeleton, which roared at them furiously. "Ah. Never mind, we're screwed, then."

"Not helping!" Pikachu snarled, firing a Thunderbolt at the undead Loudred and causing it to collapse into a pile of bones again.

"Okay, hold on, let me get something…" Leo rummaged in his shell for a moment and pulled out…a music player?

"What are you doing?!" Ash yelled as he generated a Bone Rush staff to fend off the blades of a quadruplet of skeletal Farfetch'd.

"Finding a good soundtrack. Can't have a fight scene without music!" Leo explained, scrolling through the list of songs he had downloaded on his player.

"LEO!" Ash and Pikachu shouted at him.

"Okay, okay! Hold on! There." He pressed a button, and rock music started playing loudly throughout the courtyard. "That's better. Now…eat holy, you dirt-munchers!" Leo pulled out his blessed dice. Nothing happened.

"Was that supposed to do something?" Pikachu asked, cleaving a squealing Piloswine in two with his sword.

"I don't get it…these things must be broken or something!" the disbelieving Leo cried, shaking his dice frantically. "These things are holy! Undead are WEAK against holy! Basic tenet of supernatural physics!"

"Maybe these skeletons aren't unholy?" Ash suggested, thrusting his staff into the rib cage of a Machamp and jerking it upward to knock off the thing's skull. Unfortunately, the four-armed monster kept coming, even without a head, so Ash had to bash it to pieces until it stopped moving.

"In what way are the walking dead not unholy?!" Leo yelled, still shaking his dice.

"Well, seeing as how my sword doesn't seem to be having any additional effect on them, they must not be," Pikachu commented, bisecting six Nidokings with one swipe and zapping the Piloswine he'd killed earlier to knock it to pieces again.

"Crap…there's gotta be some way to stop them, then…" Leo murmured, putting his dice back in his shell. "Think, Leo, think-" He lost his train of thought when an undead Clefable hissed in his face, thirsting for blood. Leo screamed and spat a Water Gun in its face, blasting it to smithereens. He blinked in astonishment. "Whoa, did I just do that?"

"Killing an enemy in real life isn't quite the same as killing them in a game, now is it?" Pikachu asked, firing off a Vacuum Blade which cut off the upper bodies of at least a quarter of the skeletons…not that that stopped them, since their legs were still walking about and the severed torsos could still drag themselves along by their hands.

"No…it's WAY COOLER! DUDE!" Leo laughed a little too eagerly as he spat Bubbles in random directions, the water spheres bursting on contact with the skeletons that approached him and blowing them into bits of wet bone.

Pikachu sweatdropped. "I don't think he's taking this seriously."

"Or maybe he's taking it _too_ seriously," Ash said as he locked bones with an undead Marowak, who…didn't look too different from how it had in life, actually.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Pikachu asked.

"…I'm not sure, actually," Ash admitted. The Marowak managed to knock his bone out of his hands and reeled back to crush in his skull. Ash ducked beneath the blow and hit the Marowak with an Aura-powered uppercut that knocked its head off. The skull flipped through the air and landed near an undead Cubone, who curiously tried to fit the skull on, but since it already had its own skull and its mother's skull on top of that, the new headpiece wouldn't fit, so the skeleton just threw it away. The headless Marowak lurched about awkwardly trying to find its head, accidentally kicking it and flinging it further away in the process. Ash sweatdropped. "Are _these_ guys taking this seriously?"

An undead Rhyhorn, its bony plates as thick as they ever were in life, roared and dashed towards Pikachu, its nose drill spinning. Pikachu quickly raised his sword to block it, and the rhino's horn clashed against his blade, throwing up angry sparks as it forced the samurai back a few feet through sheer brute force. "YES!" Pikachu yelled loudly.

"Then maybe we should, too!" Ash cried. He charged towards a big, mean skeletal Hitmonchan, who threw a punch at his face. Ash jumped over the attack and landed on the dead Fighting Pokemon's skull, then pushed off and jumped even higher into the air, gaining a view of the entire battlefield. Gathering his power, he twirled in the sky and fired Aura Spheres in every direction, causing blue-tinged explosions to erupt all over the courtyard. "Take that!"

"Hmmph. You're not the only one who can do something like that!" Pikachu scoffed. Fending off the claw swipes of a Gligar, Pikachu backflipped and landed on his tail, which coiled underneath him then sprung upward, launching him into the air. He charged electrical power into his sword, then drove it back into the ground in a brilliant flash which sent ludicrously powerful discharges zigzagging outward in every direction, tearing up the pavement and blasting dozens of skeletons to pieces. Not finished, the mouse sheathed his sword, charged energy into his body, then abruptly started dashing forward on all fours, electricity crackling out around him to create a golden nimbus. Moving at super speeds, he ran all over the courtyard, smashing apart any skeleton unlucky enough to get in his way with the force of his Volt Tackle and annihilating any undead goon who _had _managed to get out of his way with static bolts that crackled off from his energy trail.

"Ha, that's nothing! Watch this!" Leo bragged. Without warning, he retracted completely into his shell and sat on the ground, immobile. The skeletons stared at him in confusion. A Slaking snorted and kicked Leo's shell scornfully. This turned out, however, to be the worst thing it could possibly have done. The force of the kick gave Leo the momentum he needed to trigger his Rapid Spin attack, allowing him to fly around and _through_ the mob of skeletons that had surrounded him, smashing through their spines and rib cages like a spinning turtle shell from another video game series in an outward spiral pattern which spread out to crush more and more skeletons. A normal turtle wouldn't have been able to pull off this kind of a Rapid Spin, but Leo's practice in playing incredibly finicky characters with very sensitive controls and the rather heavy stuff in his shell allowed him to make the move go farther and hit harder than most others would have been able to. When he finally ran out of spin and slowed to a stop, he popped out of his shell and looked proudly at the hundreds of broken bones he had scattered all over the place. "Yatta! Take that, you clichéd-" His face turned green, and he threw up rather copiously before he could finish his witty taunt. "Ugh…remind me not to do that again," he moaned, the world spinning around him.

The skeletons were not particularly impressed by the heroes' actions, even though they had felled dozens of them in but a few moments. And why should they have been? It took only seconds for the bits of bone and dead matter to reassemble themselves, and the army of the undead was back on their feet once again, and hungry for vengeance against the living. "It's no good…no matter what we do to them they won't stay down!" cried an alarmed Pikachu.

"The energy that sustains them seems to be infused in every particle of their bodies…and I'm not skilled enough yet to know how to do anything about that!" Ash said anxiously.

Leo pounded himself on the head. "Come on Leo, think, think! Holy doesn't work on these things, for whatever reason; they're clearly immune to sunlight, otherwise they wouldn't be walking around outdoors; and explosions and fire apparently don't do anything, so…what _else_ are skeletons weak against?" His eyes lit up. "Wait, that's it!" He turned to Ash. "Ash, do you have any Potion?"

"Why, are you injured?" Ash asked in concern.

Leo shook his head. "Well, I'm feeling a bit dizzy, but…no, I have a plan! I'm going to need some Potion to pull it off, though!"

Ash shrugged. "K." He tossed Leo a Potion.

Leo grinned, his eyes glinting underneath his glasses. "Excellent…" He shook the spray bottle vigorously, and then whirled around to face the skeletons, who had surrounded them while they were talking. "Okay, boneheads…which of you wants to be the first to die? Again, I mean." A ravenous Houndoom snarled and lunged for his jugular. Leo smirked. "Works for me!" With the reflexes and precision aim acquired from countless hours of shooting virtual zombies in the head, Leo brought up the Potion and sprayed it right into the skeleton's face. The undead Houndoom howled in agony and collapsed to the ground a few inches short of Leo, wailing and scratching at its snout in pain as the bone that had been touched by the curative sizzled and started dissolving. "Yeah, how do you like them apples, Cujo? Still thirsty for more? Here, I've got plenty!" He sprayed more Potion at the Mightyena. The bone hound yelped and tried to get out of the way, but its left foreleg got hit by the spray and immediately fell off at the shoulder, rotting away into nothingness as the mutt whimpered and limped away on its three remaining limbs.

The other skeletons gaped at this spectacle, stunned. So did Ash and Pikachu. "What…how…how did you…" asked the incredulous Ash.

"Duh, undead are weak against healing items! RPG 101!" Leo told them triumphantly.

"But…they're _dead_. Wouldn't they _want_ to be healed?" asked a very confused Pikachu.

"Don't question the logic, just spray! Spray for your life!" Ash shouted, taking another Potion from his knapsack and spraying it in the face of an Aggron, who shrieked like a girl and ran back into the horde of skeletons, hands clutching its disintegrating face.

"This is such a waste of supplies," Pikachu complained, even as he took out a Potion of his own and sprayed it at a bony Linoone, who recoiled in pain.

As more and more of their comrades succumbed to the wasting effects of the Potions, the skeletons drew back from the heroes, allowing them to push their way to the entrance of the keep, spraying all the way. None of the monsters followed them. "That went pretty well," Ash said, once they were safely inside the building.

"Yatta! I did pretty good back there, huh?" Leo said proudly. "Couldn't have done it without me!"

Ash laughed and rubbed Leo's head. "Yeah, but don't let it give you a swelled head."

"You were pretty handy," Pikachu admitted. "Though I'm somewhat loath to admit that we only survived because of your knowledge of video game logic…"

"Don't worry, I'm sure I'll use that logic to save us many more times in the future!" Leo said cheerfully.

Pikachu's eye twitched. "Joy."

"No, that's a nurse, and she's not here," Ash joked. Pikachu and Leo stared at him. Ash frowned. "What? I thought it was funny…"

"Nobody else did," said Pikachu. "Now, where to?"

"To the top of the tallest tower, duh!" Leo said excitedly. His tone grew serious. "And once there…we avenge my father."

"And all those other people the dragon's killed?" Ash asked.

Leo blinked. "Huh? Oh yeah, them too."

They continued into the depths of the keep, unaware that the shadowy figure from before had already beaten them inside.

…

Meanwhile, back in Kanjohenn…

"Monkey King's balls, where is he?!" snarled War Chief Vulkus Furniciferous, the Infernape commander of the Mt. Freeze base. He was standing on top of the walkway built on the interior of the palisade wall which ringed the base and kept arctic predators out, staring hopelessly into the sheer white terrain stretching out in every direction, his flaming hair buffeted by the constantly-blowing icy winds all around them. "That worthless son of a baboon should have been here by now!"

"Maybe his life-flame went out?" one of the War Chief's lieutenants, a Monferno, said hopefully.

"Or maybe he got buried in an avalanche," suggested another lieutenant, this one an Ambipom.

"Or maybe he got eaten by Abomsanow!" the Monferno suggested.

"Do Abomasnow eat meat?" asked Ambipom, curious. "I thought most Grass-types ate insects or absorbed energy through the sun or from the earth."

"You see any bugs, sun, or earth up in this wasteland?" the Monferno said pointedly. "I hear they like to catch their prey frozen half-to-death, hang them upside-down from the ceilings of their caves, and then-"

Vulkus smacked both of his idiot henchmen on the head. "Shut up, both of you! It doesn't matter how that failure died, so long as we can be certain he did. And don't celebrate his digestion too soon, there's still a chance that he might show up in another hour or so."

"We're going to have to stay up here that long?!" whined the Ambipom.

Vulkus hit the two-tailed monkey so hard that he was knocked off the walkway and landed in a convenient pile of soft snow below. The Monferno and all the guards nearby snickered at his misfortune. "We will stay up here as long as it takes!" Vulkus shouted, spit and embers flying from his mouth. "We are soldiers of the Monkey King! We can thrive and conquer in any environment! Anyone who does not is unworthy to be called a Pokemon and would be better off in the slave barracks with the other weaklings and inferiors! Do I make myself clear?!"

"Y-yes sir," the Ambipom stammered in fright.

"Good! Now bring me some lava juice, my flame is burning low in this blasted cold!" Vulkus barked.

"Yes sir!" The Monferno ran off, grateful to be still alive.

"I hate this weather," Vulkus grumbled, looking back out at the frozen mountainside.

"Look on the bright side, sir, at least all our fleas have died from the cold too!" his remaining lieutenant said cheerfully. He gasped. "Sir, look, over there! Atop that ridge! I think I see something!"

Vulkus immediately squinted and shaded his eyes as he peered in the direction his subordinate was indicating. He preferred to use what nature gave him, as all of the Monkey King's soldiers did, since technology was for weak city-folk after all. "It's so hard to see out here…is that Ignik, here at last?"

"I can't say for sure, sir…it looks a little too tall," the lieutenant said.

"Well, he was supposed to be coming here on a Rapidash," Vulkus murmured, leaning out over the side of the palisade to try and get a better look. "Hmm…it looks like he's…throwing something?"

It was at that moment that a wooden staff with a large crystal at its tip encircled by a metal ring with a pair of weights dangling from the sides impaled him right between the eyes, the sheer force of its momentum yanking the War Chief off the wall and carrying him halfway across the compound before the sharp end of the staff (which was protruding from the back of the Infernape's head) imbedded itself in one of the supports of a tall signal tower rising from the middle of the base. Vulkus dangled from the midpoint of the scepter, blood and brains oozing out through the hole it had made in his skull.

The various soldiers across the base gawked in disbelief. Then the Monferno lieutenant shouted, "WE'RE UNDER ATTACK! ALL TROOPS, MOBILIZE!" He whirled about to check on the assassin who had killed his superior, and found to his surprise that the mysterious figure was gone.

No, wait, there he was, he was standing right in front of him, balancing on top of one of the spikes of the palisade wall, pointing a paw glowing with blue fire at him. "Oh shi-" The blindfolded hat-wearing Lucario fired a blast of blue energy which completely vaporized the fire monkey. As if in response, the crystal on the scepter he had thrown started glowing faintly.

The Lucario leaped off the wall and landed on the snowy ground covering the base's interior. "Get him! Get him!" an enraged Magmortar corporal bellowed, the flames on his body burning hotter with fury.

As several dozen monkeys and Fire Pokemon surged out of the various barracks and buildings scattered across the compound, Magby and Aipom archers positioned on top of watchtowers, roofs, and the palisade walkway all started launching fireballs and Swift stars at the intruder. The hundreds of projectiles arced high into the sky then shot down towards the Lucario, who didn't look the least bit concerned. They converged on him with an explosion that threw up lots of smoke and bits of snow and sent vapor up into the air as the nearby snow was melted by the blast. The mustering forces paused a few feet away from the roiling cloud, sneering in anticipation at the sight of a corpse or at the very least a badly wounded foe…and so were very surprised when the cloud faded to reveal nothing at all, save for a patch of ground where the snow had evaporated. "Where'd he go?" asked a Primeape.

They got their answer when the Lucario, who was now balancing along the length of his scepter high above them, starting flinging the Swift stars he had gathered with his _bare_ _hands_ while evading the fireballs paw-over-paw at the forces gathered below him. The barbarians shrieked in pain and surprise, pushing each other over to get out of the line of fire and in the process making it only more likely for them to get hit, the energy stars, now glowing blue due to Aura the Lucario had infused in them, exploding on contact with their bodies and blowing them to smithereens.

And with each death, the crystal on the intruder's scepter grew steadily brighter.

A swarm of Mankey and Ambipom, shrieking with rage, scrambled onto nearby buildings and leaped into the air towards the Lucario, claws and paws extended with the intent to kill. The Lucario leaped into the air, put his hands together, and generated a bone staff from blue energy…then abruptly squeezed and reshaped it with one hand, causing it to change from a staff into a blazing sword! As the monkeys' eyes widened in astonishment, the blindfolded Lucario glided past them, his blade swiping through the air several times as he went. He landed on the ground in one piece. The monkeys landed too, but in several pieces.

A furious Primeape, screaming bloody vengeance, charged towards the Lucario, drawing a fist back to smash his head in. The Lucario easily ducked under the blow then hit the pig monkey with a haymaker that sent him flying through the palisade wall and of the base, indeed, out of the entire mountain range! As more soldiers ran at him, armed with fists and swords and spears, he dashed right towards them at incredible speeds, punching each one lightly in the chest as he went and moving to the next one before any of his targets could take a swing at him. As he skidded to a halt several feet away, the soldiers gave each other confused looks, wondering what the heck that had all been about…

Until they spontaneously exploded in pillars of blue fire. The crystal grew ever brighter. "How is he doing this?!" the Magmortar from before, now the commanding officer in the base, shrieked in disbelief. "He's just one Pokemon! And blind! Kill him! KILL HIM!" The soldiers were a bit reluctant to do so, considering how many the Lucario had already defeated, but a few Flamethrowers to their tails convinced them it might be in their best interests to attack, even if they were just as likely to die.

Unimpressed, the Lucario made a series of complex hand movements. His body blurred, and suddenly there were _five_ hat-wearing blindfolded Lucarios where one had been standing just a moment ago, all of them glowing with an eerie blue Aura! This impossibility stymied the troops for a moment, until one overconfident Quilava shouted, "It's a trick, one of those illusions or Double Team things! Get him!"

All five Lucario smirked and charged forward…and the army discovered, to their horror, that all of them were very much real, or at least capable of wiping the floor with them. As the soldiers either ran screaming or, driven onward by their superiors, struggled to engage the group of Aura fighters, one Lucario slipped away unnoticed and headed for the building where they kept the slaves locked up, trusting in his Substitutes to keep the base's population occupied for a few minutes.

The slaves, mostly Mt. Freeze locals who had been captured by the Monkey King's forces when they claimed this territory or Pokemon from other areas that had been transported up the mountainside for extra labor, looked up from their cramped bunks in surprise when the Lucario kicked the door open, letting in light as well as a much-needed gust of fresh air to clear out the stench of sweat and unwashed bodies forced to share too small a space. It didn't let in the cold, though, since it was already about as cold in the building as it was outside. The Monkey King's army didn't bother providing heating for Pokemon they considered disposable. "You're all free," the Lucario grunted in a deep, scratchy voice that brooked no arguments. "Let's go."

He ignored their cries of surprise and confusion and myriad frenzied questions, having little time for them seeing as how his clones had a limited lifespan and would only keep the soldiers occupied for so long. In an efficient, business-like manner which implied that he had done this sort of thing many times before (he had), he broke the chains binding them together, got everyone out of the barracks, assigned the stronger slaves to carry the children, elderly, and sick, and led them towards the palisade wall. All of this only took less than five minutes, and it might have been three if he hadn't paused for a moment to punch the earth and cause the pack of Chimchars that had been following him underground to burst out from their tunnels and get picked off by a few Aura Spheres.

Once they had reached the wall, the Lucario flicked a weak spot with one finger, causing an entire section of it to immediately disintegrate into wood dust. "Go," he said as the freed slaves gawked at what he had just done in disbelief. "Now. Get as far from here as possible." Trusting that they didn't need to be told that twice, he left them to their escape and rushed back to the battle just in time to see the last of his clones get felled by what was left of the Monkey King's army (which wasn't much, at this point). He felt a severe twinge of pain as his facsimile was destroyed, but ignored it, just as he had ignored the pain from the destruction of his other three Substitutes. He scaled the signal tower and stood on top of his scepter—noting, as he did so, that it was almost at full charge--just as the exhausted and relieved Magmortar said, "There! That's the last of them! That will teach those fools that no one, not even Aura Guardians, can defeat the Monkey King's forces!"

"Don't count me out yet," the Lucario called from his perch, causing the remaining soldiers to wheel around in shock and disbelief. "We Guardians are a bit more resilient than you'd think."

"H-he's immortal!" shrieked one excitable Cyndaquil. "We can't kill him!"

The Magmortar clouted the mouse/hedgehog thing hard enough to cave his head in. "Ridiculous! We killed the other four, now there's just him left to deal with! He'll fall in no time!"

The Lucario smirked. "That would be true…if the clones you hadn't just killed weren't only about a tenth as strong as I am. Each."

The soldiers gaped. "A-a tenth?!" the Magmortar cried in disbelief.

The Lucario nodded. "Yes, though I may be exaggerating. Plus, none of them could do THIS!" He made another set of complex hand motions…and suddenly his Aura ignited around him, surrounding his body in a blazing blue corona which abruptly wrenched itself off of him and transformed into a huge serpentine blue energy dragon which glared down at the soldiers with remorseless eyes of azure flame.

"Oh, COME ON!" the Magmortar yelled incredulously.

The Aura dragon bellowed loud enough to cause most of the soldiers to void themselves, then swooped down towards them. They screamed in terror and ran away as fast as they could. The dragon flew off in pursuit of them, destroying any building that might be in its path in the process.

However, not all of them went. "This is our chance to attack him, he can't retaliate while he's using his concentration to control that dragon! Burn him!" barked an Arcanine, hoping to earn himself some glory by killing the being who'd wiped out at least three-quarters of the troops stationed at Mt. Freeze. The few Pokemon that had stayed behind nodded in agreement, then fired Flamethrowers up at the signal tower, aiming for the immobile Lucario…

And were stunned when the blind Pokemon leaped off his scepter before the flames could hit him, causing the fire streams to consume Vulkus' corpse instead, and landed behind the attacking Pokemon. They gaped at him, stunned. "What?! H-how did you-" the Arcanine stammered.

The Lucario smirked. "What, you didn't really think I needed to concentrate _that_ hard, did you?" They didn't get a chance to reply before he fired a ludicrously huge beam of blue Aura energy at them that looked like something out of Dragonite Ball Z (not that any of the soldiers watched it, being avid technophobes), vaporizing all of them in a flash. His energy dragon, its power not even remotely diluted by its master's brief distraction, continued terrorizing what was left of the soldiers and burning the base to the ground.

The Lucario smirked and glanced up at the crystal on his scepter, which glowed brighter with every barbarian soldier his dragon consumed. It just needed a little more power…

He cut off that thought and sidestepped out of the way of the rather large Overheat that had been about to charbroil him. "You!" the Magmortar corporal snarled from his position on the back of a very large, very angry, and very heavily armored War Camerupt. "You've ruined everything! The base, our slaves, our soldiers…the Monkey King will kill me for this!"

"Assuming you survive," the Lucario pointed out.

"I have no intention of leaving this world without taking you with me!" the Magmortar shouted. "FIRE!"

The Camerupt bellowed, steam rising from its red skin as it heated itself up. The twin volcanoes on its back spewed lava. The snow around the camel's feet melted. The beast opened its jaws and belched out a tremendous blast of fire which roared towards the Lucario…

Who blew on it. Just like that, it dissipated. The Magmortar's eyes bulged out of their sockets. "No! IMPOSSIBLE!"

Nearby, the dragon roared, rearing back its head as barracks crumbled around it and its victims lay before it in burning blue heaps of char. The Lucario glanced up and saw that the crystal on his scepter was glowing like a sapphire sun. "I believe we're done here." He reached out, and the scepter abruptly wrenched itself out of the signal tower (dropping the dead Vulkus in the process) and flew into his hand.

"Wait, what are you-" the Magmortar started as the Lucario slammed the butt of his staff on the ground once.

The escaping slaves fell over as the earth shook and the air screamed around them, the base they had just vacated vaporizing in a tremendous blast as a great blue mushroom cloud rose into the skies. They stared at the smoldering ruin they had been imprisoned in for the last several weeks in awe. "Whoa," a Smoochum said at last in a statement Leo would have completely agreed with. "That was awesome!"

The Lucario, completely untouched by the explosion, calmly walked out of the flames. His crystal was no longer glowing, having fully discharged all the purified Auras of the corrupt and evil barbarians its master had slain. Their energies would flow back into the universe and perhaps undo some of the evil they had wrought in life, and with any luck, the souls of the Monkey King's soldiers would be the better for it in their next incarnation. After glancing in the direction of the slaves he had freed to make sure that they were all okay, confident that they would be able to get to safety on their own, he turned his back on the blue flames which ravaged the blighted ground the military base had once been standing on, continuing his trek up the side of Mt. Freeze.

A few minutes later, several thousand tons of snow, dislodged by the explosion, tumbled down the mountainside in an avalanche and buried what was left of the compound, covering it in pristine whiteness and making it seem as if it had never been there.

…

Dude…that guy was totally badass, wasn't he? Oh, and Ash and the guys weren't bad either.

Now that you know Leo's backstory, what do you think of them? Think they have a chance against the dragon?

And who's the weird figure that's also inside the castle? Find out next time!


	12. A Chance Encounter

And now, the dragon!

…Or not.

Sorry, just one more chapter to go!

…

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters that do not belong to me.

…

The trek through the keep was mostly uneventful. There were a few skeletons that attacked them, but not nearly as many as there had been outside, and it only took a few Potion sprays to drive them off. Leo complained about this, saying that he'd never get enough EXP to reach level 100 at this rate. He also thought it odd that there didn't seem to be any conspicuous treasure chests lying about with goodies for them to collect.

"Why would there be treasure chests just waiting for us to open them?" asked Pikachu.

Leo rolled his eyes. "Duh, so we can get some treasure while we're here! Don't you guys ever find treasure chests in the dungeons you explore?"

"No, all we find are items just lying on the ground, presumably dropped by other explorers who, well, didn't make it," said Ash. "And from the corpses of occasional enemies, though why they're carrying money and items around I've never understood."

"They probably thought it was shiny, or just wanted it so the others wouldn't have any," Pikachu reasoned.

"Well, obviously, that's a given," Leo said with a nod. "So, to reiterate: why no treasure chests here? Or items, at least."

"Well, we're not exactly the first adventurers who've come through this place," Ash pointed out. "There are hundreds of old and faded residual Aura trails covering the insides of this castle. They probably all looted everything there was to loot on their way to the top."

"Where the dragon killed them, and took the treasure for itself," Pikachu finished.

"Oh. That makes sense," Leo said. "So…how much loot do you think will be up there?"

"Leo, as a Rescue Team, we don't care about rewards, our job is to save lives," Ash lectured Leo sternly. "It doesn't matter how much loot there is, so long as we manage to save Turtle Town from the dragon's attacks."

"Well, yeah, I know that," Leo said with a frown. "Just saying it wouldn't hurt to pick up some goodies while we're here. You never know when they'll come in handy later!"

Ash rolled his eyes…and paused as he noticed another one of the ubiquitous claw marks and giant holes they periodically found smashed through the walls. "You know, I've been thinking…these holes and gouges look a little too small for something as big as the dragon to have made. And there seem to be relatively few holes in the ceiling…so how could it have fit itself in here to make all of these openings?"

"Shrunk itself?" Leo suggested. They stared at him. "What? Some dragons can do it. I think. And besides, isn't that how the Minimize technique works?"

"If it could shrink itself enough to fit in these corridors, then why would it bother knocking holes in the walls, floors, and ceiling to facilitate faster access through certain areas?" Pikachu questioned.

"Because it didn't want to walk everywhere?" Leo suggested. Pikachu sweatdropped.

"I don't think so," Ash murmured, examining one of the claw marks with his Aura-sight. "The residuals I'm picking up from these things are pretty faint, but I can tell for sure they're not from the dragon. In fact, they look more like the Auras of the life-forms I sensed in its tower."

Pikachu frowned in thought. "If they were prisoners, I doubt they'd have the freedom to go around and do this, and if they were strong enough to do this kind of damage to the castle's interior, I can't see why they wouldn't have escaped by now. Unless the dragon has more minions than we originally thought, that can only mean one thing…" He closed his eyes. "We're dealing with more than one dragon here."

Leo gaped. "No way…you can't mean that…there's kids!? Baby dragons?! The monster that's been terrorizing my town's a MOM?!"

"That might actually explain why it's set up camp here and constantly demands tribute from your village," Pikachu said, continuing this line of thought. "So it can get a constant supply of food to feed its children."

Ash nodded. "Yeah, I can see how that would work. It must not have a mate, so it can't leave the kids unguarded for very long and needs to find some other way to keep its children healthy other than hunting, which can take a while and isn't always successful. Taking over a small town and making them give you food's not a bad alternative…if you're a giant fire-breathing monster, anyway."

"But…but…if it's just trying to feed its kids, then why does it eat so many of us?!" Leo demanded. "Or have us send warriors to fight it and die?! Or have a deal on the side with Mewgle to make things harder for everyone?! If it wanted food, it could have just asked! We would've been GLAD to help!" He frowned. "At least…I _think_ we would have…"

"It's clearly a wild Pokemon. Asking isn't always in their nature," Ash pointed out.

Pikachu nodded in agreement. "There are plenty of similar extortive relationships in the harsher untamed regions of the world where things like this are fairly common, though usually not on the scale we're seeing here. Additionally, just because it has mouths to feed doesn't necessarily mean it isn't still an _evil_ dragon."

Leo's look of anguish and confusion took on a steelier, more determined expression. "Then there's no reason I can't still kill it to avenge my father."

"I don't see why not," said Ash. "As long as it is, in fact, evil, I mean." He frowned. "And if we kill it, what'll happen to its children?"

Leo hesitated for a moment. "That's…a good question, actually. I…" He fidgeted. "I don't want to be responsible for depriving anyone of their parent. Even if they are evil. I know what that's like to lose one, it hurts too much for anyone, even someone who might be evil, to deserve to go through. But…" He shook his head fiercely. "No! I have to do this. I can't let my father's death go unanswered! And everyone else's too. We'll think of something when we get to that point."

"Now that's my kind of plan!" Ash said approvingly.

Pikachu rolled his eyes. "Joy. Now I have two of them…"

Aware that there might be more than one dragon ahead of them, the party warily continued on their way. However, they soon came across much larger evidence to the possible existence of baby dragons, and were forced to detour.

"Ew," Leo said, just holding his noise. "Just, ew."

"Lovely," muttered Pikachu, holding his nose too.

"How do you think I feel? My nose is bigger than all of yours!" Ash complained.

They had been heading towards a staircase leading up to the next floor, only to find their way blocked by a ridiculously large pile of…well, shit. It was a few days old, but still stank to high heaven, and was too large for them to get past without…climbing over it. No normal Pokemon could have laid a pile that big, so it could only have come from the abnormally large child of an abnormally large Pokemon.

"That's disgusting," Leo said. "And totally unnecessary. Couldn't they have dumped it somewhere else, rather than right in our way?! I mean, every dungeon has its share of blocking obstacles, but this is just ridiculous!"

"Not what you expected, huh?" Pikachu said, probably enjoying this far more than he should have. "Not the sort of thing you see in your games, is it?"

Leo was quick to correct him. "Actually, in one REALLY raunchy and mature game, there's this one level made completely of the stuff, and the boss at the end is a huge _SINGING_ pile of-"

"That's more than I really needed to know," Pikachu said flatly

"So, how do we get past this?" Leo asked.

"Well, I could blow it up," Ash suggested. "But I _really_ don't want to." The others nodded vigorously in agreement, not wanting crap splattered all over them. "So…" He closed his eyes and scanned the floor with his Aura-sight. "There's another set of stairs in…that direction," he said, pointing down a hallway. "There might be a skeleton or two between here and there, but nothing we can't handle."

"That was so cool," Leo gushed as they headed towards the stairs Ash had detected. "How do you do that sort of thing anyway?"

"Basically, I use my Aura-senses to look at the…well, Aura of everything around me, and use it to create a detailed map in my head," Ash explained. "The Auras and traces of living things are much stronger than those of inanimate objects, so I can see through walls and find out who might be on the other side of them, as well as analyze old traces to see where people have been before us. I saw trails of both warriors and baby dragons heading towards this other stairway, which is how I knew where it was and that it went in the direction we wanted to go."

"That is so awesome," said the awestruck Leo. "Can you teach me how to do that? I could be your padawan and everything!"

"My what?" asked a confused Ash.

"Apprentice," Leo clarified.

Ash laughed and shook his head. "I'm barely more than an apprentice myself! I've had to teach myself just about everything I know about Aura, which isn't a lot. Everything else I'm learning from this book I have."

"A book? Ooh! Can I see it?" Leo asked eagerly.

Ash smirked. "Sure. Knock yourself out." He handed Leo his tome.

"'Secrets of an Aura Master,'" Leo read reverently from the cover. He flipped it open, only to discover… "It's blank! Oh, wait, it must be a metaphor symbolizing that the true secret of mastering Aura lies within you, like in all those other martial arts and magic movies and stories."

"Actually, it's just written in invisible ink only people who can detect Auras can read," Ash corrected him.

"Oh." Rather dejected, Leo handed it back to Ash. "So how do you get to see Aura, anyway? Can you teach me to do it?"

Pikachu shook his head. "From what I gather, it's one of those things that you have to be born with. You either have it, or you don't."

Ash nodded in agreement. "All Lucarios are born with the ability. Everyone else either has to hope they're lucky enough to inherit it, or wind up just like everyone else."

Leo frowned. "Oh…that kind of thing, huh? What exactly is it that gives a person the ability to see Aura, anyway? An abnormally high number of microscopic organisms in your bloodstream that give you the power to manipulate the life-force of the universe?"

They stared at him blankly. "That's one of the stupidest things I've ever heard," Ash said after a moment.

Leo nodded. "Yeah, that's what everyone else said after the Star Wars prequel trilogy came out. So, tell me. What gives some people the ability to use Aura while everyone else can't?"

Ash shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine. I'm hoping that my book can give me some answers, though…and maybe help me unlock the true power of my Aura! If I can do that, I might be able to undo whatever the Nihilators did to create their Shadow Pokemon, which will definitely come in handy in future encounters."

Leo nodded. "Yeah…Pokemon who've had their hearts sealed up? Yikes. Still, not as bad as things actually MADE from the darkness in people's hearts. Those guys are creepy!"

"Assuming they exist," Pikachu pointed out.

Leo rolled his eyes. "Of _course_ they exist, in the Omniverse, anything's possible! Although, if they show up here, we're gonna need a giant key to fight them off. Either of you know where we can find something like that?" They stared at him in confusion. "Eh, guess not."

"You know way too much about many things that don't matter," Pikachu said with a shake of his head.

"They do too matter!" Leo retorted. "My encyclopedic gaming knowledge has already saved us on more than one occasion, and I'm positive it'll continue to do so in the future! Assuming I don't die from being too genre-savvy, that is. That sometimes happens in horror movies."

"Wonderful," Pikachu said deadpan.

"Leonardo?" an unfamiliar voice whispered.

"And furthermore-" Leo started, until Ash cut him off.

"Did you just hear that?" Ash asked.

"Hear what?" asked Leo.

"Remember, our ears aren't as good as yours," Pikachu pointed out.

"I thought I just heard someone calling Leo's name," said Ash.

Leo frowned. "Really? Weird. Who'd know my name in a place like this?" His eyes widened. "Unless…Dad?!"

"Leonardo? Is that you, my son?" the same voice from before called to them.

Leo gasped. "DAD!" He rushed down the hallway…for about five yards, before panting, using his inhaler, and slowly plodding the rest of the way. Ash and Pikachu sweatdropped, then followed him.

They soon found the source of the voice; a Wartortle skull sitting by itself in a niche in the wall. Ash had seen it earlier via Aura-sight, but assumed it to be just another skeleton so had taken no notice of it. He regretted doing so now, because it was clear there was something special about this skull…it was wearing a really cool pair of sunglasses. Ash thought they looked vaguely familiar for some reason. "Dad…Dad! Is that you?!" an astonished Leo cried.

The skull grinned…as much as a skull can grin, that is. Which is a lot. It's kind of eerie. "Leonardo…my son…I have been waiting for you. I knew you would come."

"Oh, Dad…" Leo fell to his knees and burst into tears.

Pikachu blinked and looked at Ash. "I did not see this coming."

"Neither did I," said an equally amazed Ash. "Do you suppose this sort of thing happens a lot in video games, too?"

"Dad," Leo whispered, tears of joy running down his face and fogging up his glasses. "For six years, I've thought you were dead! And all this time, you've been, well…"

"Technically, Leonardo, I _am_ dead," the skull corrected him. "Or undead, anyway, and not of my own choice! Trust me when I say that I would have returned to you and your mother long ago had I not been deprived of a body."

"What happened? How did you wind up like this?!" Leo cried.

The skull frowned sternly. At least, they thought it did. "Six years ago, as you will recall, the wicked dragon came to our town and demanded we feed it two-thirds of our crops every month or die. Naturally, we refused to stand for such exploitation. I led an army formed from our village's strongest fighters and stormed the beast's castle, intending to free our land as our ancestors and the great heroes from another world did so long ago."

Pikachu sweatdropped. "Heroes from…you mean those Mutant Squirtle things are real?!"

"Told you so," Leo said smugly.

Leo's father continued his tale. "We faced little opposition, for the dragon had only just settled into its new lair and had yet to amass the great army of undead you have no doubt encountered by now. We surprised it in its nest, engaged it in a great battle…and slew the monstrous wyrm after hours of fighting! I myself delivered the final blow."

"Coool…" Leo whispered, eyes wide with awe.

"Uh, wait," said a confused Ash. "If you killed the dragon, then why is it still around? And you're, you know, dead."

The skull scowled. "Because it turned out the dragon wasn't quite as dead as we thought it was. As we prepared to smash its eggs to prevent anymore of the evil creatures from threatening us-"

"Wait, there were eggs?" Pikachu interrupted.

"Yes, about a half-dozen of them," the skull confirmed.

"Then how do we know the dragon isn't actively evil but just trying to protect its children?" Pikachu asked.

The skull stared at him for a moment. At least, he thought it did, it was hard to tell since its eyes were covered by shades. And it didn't have eyeballs. "…It turns its victims into the walking dead and terrorizes my hometown to force my friends and family to constantly feed it and its young, both through food and by sending fodder here to get eaten. It's also allied itself with a demon. Sounds pretty evil to me."

"True," Pikachu conceded.

"You know about that?" Leo asked.

"I've seen adventurers walk down these passages for the last six years, talking very loudly about the reward they'd be getting from Turtle Town for slaying the beast and succeeding where everyone else failed. Then I see their skeletons walking by later. It's pretty obvious what's going on," the skull explained. "I tried to call out to them many a time, to warn them to turn back—or at the very least, to take me with them—but they never listened, believing me to be another one of the beast's tricks."

"Sounds familiar," Ash said to Leo, who rolled his eyes.

"Anyway, as we were about to destroy the beast's eggs, the dragon's corpse rose up with a terrifying roar, scaring us half to death! A strange star-shaped jewel we had not noticed before was affixed to the beast's chest, and was glowing and pumping untold energies into the monster's flesh to reanimate it and bring it back from the brink of death!" the skull continued.

Ash and Pikachu gasped. "The Star Badge!" Ash cried.

"It must be! But I had no idea it could animate the dead…" Pikachu murmured.

"The what now?" asked the confused Leo's father.

"Never mind that, it's just something they came here to find," Leo said. "You're saying that this jewel managed to resurrect the dragon?!"

The skull nodded, sort of. "More like reanimate than resurrect. It was clearly not quite alive, but not quite dead either. We managed to recover from our shock and attack it, but it was of no use. Every blow we managed to land on the beast didn't hinder it in the least; it didn't even seem to notice as we tore open holes in its flesh and wings. Ignoring our attacks, it _ate_ us one by one…and through the holes in its stomach, we could _see_ our friends and comrades being digested, the flesh being stripped from their bones and used to mend the wounds we had rent in the monster's body through whatever dark magic was held in its jewel. And not only that, but when the bones were finally…_excreted_ from the abomination's rear-"

"Ew," said a disgusted Leo.

"Well, at least it wasn't a singing pile of…you know," Pikachu said, although he was also rather disgusted.

"The bones could not just lie there dead, no, the monster proceeded to befoul them further by using the magic of its gemstone to reanimate them into walking skeletons, which turned on their former kin and attacked us! Every turtle they killed were fed to their dark master, and another bony golem was added to the ranks of the undead! We struggled valiantly, but the skeletons reassembled themselves every time we defeated one of them, and in due time we were outnumbered, for they were inexhaustible and we were not," the skull said sadly.

"You should have tried potions," Leo suggested.

"Eh?" said the confused skull.

"Potions. They're weak against it," Leo explained.

This was clearly a surprise to the dead man. "Potions? Really? Huh…we had no idea. If we had, perhaps…" He shook his head, sort of. "There is no time for regrets and what-might-have-beens. I must finish my story. At the end of it, only I was left. I fought and I fought with every last ounce of strength in my body, but in the end I was overcome, and the corpses of my dearest friends fed me to the beast. I will not describe what it was like to be eaten alive, for it is a fate far too horrible to wish on my worst enemy."

"Oh, Dad…" Leo whispered.

"When I came out at the other end, I fully expected to be stripped of my will and to be no more than another one of the dragon's mindless undead slaves. I was astonished to discover, however, that I still retained my senses, and realized at once it had to be due to the powers of the DeKappa heirloom, the sacred sunglasses, which have been passed down from father to son in my family for generations," the skull continued.

"Cooooool," whispered Leo.

"Wait, hold up!" Pikachu protested in disbelief. "You're telling me that you managed to stay yourself because you happened to be wearing _sunglasses?!_"

"Not just any sunglasses," the skull said sternly.

"Yeah, these are the sunglasses of sheer AWESOME!" Leo agreed. "You can wear them indoors and still see _absolutely perfectly!_ How cool is that?!" Pikachu sweatdropped.

"What exactly makes these sunglasses so powerful?" asked a curious Ash.

The skull smiled. "Ah, that is a long story in the telling…but since presumably neither of us has to be anywhere anytime soon…"

"Actually, we should probably go and fight that dragon-" Pikachu started anxiously.

"Shh! We're gonna sit and hear this! I love this story!" an angry Leo interjected.

"But-" Pikachu protested.

"I've never complained whenever you or your Dad told the incredibly long story behind your family lineage and your magic sword," Ash said pointedly.

"…Ash, we only told you that story ONCE," Pikachu replied.

"Yes. Well. Once was enough," Ash said, coughing in embarrassment.

"These shades are more than just an incredibly cool fashion accessory," Leo's father explained. "You see, they are one of the oldest artifacts in the Omniverse. In fact, they actually PREDATE the Omniverse and all life in it!"

"What?! That's preposterous!" Pikachu protested. "Everyone knows that the only things which existed before the Omniverse were Arceus, Mew, and their firstborn children! Some crackpot theoreticians say there were supposed to have been a bunch of other universes before that, but everything in those except for the souls of the inhabitants were supposed to have been nullified just before Arceus, who had at that point mainly been an unconscious omnipresent entity, was able to take on physical form! Nothing else survived! Nothing!"

"Nothing else," Leo's father agreed. "Except these sunglasses."

Leo nodded in agreement. "Yeah, they're just that cool."

Pikachu sweatdropped. "You've gotta be kidding me…"

The skull began its story. "Billions of years ago…I think…in the universe which existed before our own, a drunken Unown wandering through the dimensions on its way home happened by chance to phase through a lens factory, its brief presence warping the molecular makeup of a pair of sunglasses about to be shipped out to a mall somewhere and endowing them with incredible reality-bending powers."

"Wait, how can Unown get drunk? They don't even have mouths!" Pikachu protested.

"They're Psychic," said Leo.

"…So?" asked a confused Pikachu.

"So what do you think happens when they read the mind of a drunk guy?" Leo said. Pikachu sweatdropped.

"Along the way to the mall, the shipment of sunglasses was ambushed by a group of bandits," Leo's father continued.

"Wait, why would they want to steal some sunglasses?" Pikachu interrupted.

"To look cool," the skull explained.

"Duh," said Leo. Pikachu facepalmed.

"However, the bandits were in turn ambushed by a group of valiant heroes called the Squirtle Squad, led by a nameless Squirtle who was, in fact, the most ancient ancestor of the DeKappas," Leo's father continued. "They defeated the bandits and took the sunglasses for themselves. The Squad's leader donned the transformed shades, and was at once endowed with supernatural ability…and sheer coolness."

"Because they were just that awesome!" Leo cheered. Pikachu groaned.

"With his natural abilities enhanced by the legendary sunglasses, the heroic Squirtle led his squad to defeat fire demons across the land, and battled many foes alongside a human trainer whose name isn't really that important. However, his finest moment came when the ultimate battle between the forces of good evil was deadlocked due to a truly despicable devil casting the leaders and greatest warriors of both sides into an illusory world of its own creation, so that it could muster its power to conquer the universe without interference. The leader of the Squirtle Squad was the only hero left on the planet that had not been caught up in the demon's spell, the sunglasses allowing him to see the truth and giving him a natural immunity to the glamour. He swam all the way across the ocean to the site of the great battle and single-handedly slew the demon in an epic struggle which lasted for days and shook the heavens and the Earth, and in doing so not only released the monster's prisoners but also gave the forces of good the opportunity they needed to destroy the embodiment of all evil forever," Leo's father said proudly. "Well, until the Omniverse was created and more evil sprung up. It has a tendency to do that. Like some kind of evil…weed thing."

"…You just made all that up, didn't you?" Pikachu asked skeptically.

"Who was that human trainer you mentioned?" Ash asked, feeling something nagging him in the back of his mind.

"Nobody important," said Leo's father dismissively. "In the Golden Age that followed, the brave Squirtle no longer needed his shades, since there were no more battles to fight. However, he was certain future heroes would find a use for them, so he cast the sunglasses into a time portal opened by the leader of the forces of good, who was sort of like Mew's predecessor in that era but much bigger, in hopes that it would eventually find its way to someone who truly needed it in the distant ages to come."

"And it did," Leo said happily. "It fell out of the sky and hit my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather on the head hundreds of years ago on the hottest and brightest day of the year. Wearing the shades blocked out the glare from the sunlight and helped him lead his team to victory in the annual Turtle Town Beach Volleyball tournament! Our family has managed to win every since tournament since then."

"…I do not fucking believe this," Pikachu said deadpan.

"Actually, I think it's a much more original story than the one behind Thunder Fang," Ash commented.

"Original?! All of that actually happened!" Pikachu shouted.

"Yes, but it was the kind of thing you hear about all the time in stories. This origin story is much more unique," Ash said. Pikachu banged his head against the wall in frustration.

"Ever since that day, the sunglasses have been passed down from father to son among the DeKappas, and have granted all who wore them an unprecedented sex appeal," Leo's father finished. "As well as certain…special abilities. Such as the ones which allowed me to preserve my consciousness after being transformed into a skeleton, unlike my fellows. When the dragon realized I was still myself, it attempted to destroy me, but the shades and the beast's own necromancy kept me from truly dying. In frustration, it finally removed my head from my body, and placed me here, so that I would no longer be a threat to it."

"Why didn't it just take off the sunglasses?" Ash asked.

"The shades cannot be removed by anyone not of the DeKappa bloodline. Not unless the current wearer of the sunglasses wills it, that is," the skull explained.

"Oh, just like your sword, Pikachu!" said Ash.

"Yes, except that my sword was blessed by the gods, while their sunglasses were altered by a DRUNKEN UNOWN!" Pikachu snapped.

Ash frowned. "Boy, you're in a pissy mood today…"

"As I sat here over the last six years, I was forced to watch countless adventurers pass by me, only to come back hours later as mindless skeletons…and there was nothing I could do to save them," Leo's father lamented. "Worse, in its own way, was that I have had ample time to meditate and discover the hidden powers of the sunglasses for myself…but all of these abilities are completely useless without a body!"

"That sucks," Leo said sympathetically. "It's just like a brand-new super-awesome sequel to your favorite game coming out, but you can't play it because you don't have the right hardware."

"…Er, yes, something like that," Leo's father said uncertainly. "However, I was able to gain one advantage with these shades: I was able to peer to some extent into the future, and so I knew that one day my son would follow in my footsteps and defeat the dragon which slew me, saving all of Turtle Town, and then go on to save the world alongside a band of brave heroes, wearing the sacred sunglasses all the while."

"I'm in _two_ prophecies?! AWESOME!" Leo cried.

"Sunglasses that can predict the future?!" Pikachu asked increulously. "What, can they also see through walls? Detect Auras? Read the power levels of your opponents? Give you wireless Internet connection and Arceusdamned Cable?!"

"Actually, aside from the Aura bit…" the skull started, only to be interrupted when Pikachu yelled in exasperaton and started hitting his head against the wall again.

"You can surf the Net with those things?! Dude! They get even awesomer by the second!" cried the excited Leo.

"Even I think that's neat, and I don't even use the Internet," Ash agreed.

"It would be very neat indeed…if I actually had fingers!" Leo's father complained. "For whatever reason, you need manual dexterity to 'browse' or 'change the channel' as it were, by moving your fingers as if you were typing on a keyboard or pressing a button on a remote control. I've tried changing the view through thought or by clicking my teeth, but all I wind up getting is unintelligible cooking shows, sitcoms, and reality shows from other universes. The only thing I can view from our world is the blog of an angsty preteen Clefairy who writes bad poetry and the 24-hour Soap Opera Channel."

Ash and Leo gasped in horror. "You poor man," Ash said sympathetically.

"How'd you not go insane from that?!" Leo cried.

"I did, actually," Leo's father admitted. "But that got boring after a while, so I decided to become sane again."

"Ah," said Ash. Pikachu hit his head against the wall harder still.

"So does that mean that when I wear the shades I'll be able to do all that cool stuff?!" a hopeful Leo asked his father.

"Eventually, perhaps, but not right away," the skull said apologetically. "It's taken me six years to learn of most of the latent abilities these sunglasses possess, and as I said before, almost all of them are useless to me in my current condition. When you wear the shades for yourself, you will have to discover and unlock their secrets on your own. That is how it is always been."

"Oh," said a disappointed Leo. "I don't suppose there's a manual somewhere…maybe written in an invisible ink that only the wearer of the sunglasses can read?"

"No," said the skull.

Leo shrugged. "Eh, worth a try."

"I wish we had more time to talk, my son, and for you to learn how to use the powers these sunglasses possess…but time is something we do not have, for it is running out for everyone in Turtle Town," Leo's father warned his son. "Only months after I was killed, the dragon's eggs hatched, and the not-so-little demons have been roaming this castle ever since, growing bigger and stronger with every day that goes by. I believe that is the true reason the dragon has been tormenting our village, so that it can obtain the food it needs to keep its spawn in good health and help them grow healthy and powerful. I think I have surmised as well the reason the monster has demanded warriors to come here and challenge it, and occasionally eats one of the townsfolk…it is all but dead, kept animate only by the strange jewel I told you of earlier. But that alone is not enough to stop its physical body from decaying, so it feeds on the living flesh of its mortal prey, stripping the skin and muscles from their bones and using them to mend its own damaged and rotting form, staving off death for another day and getting a new minion in the process."

"Ew," said a disgusted Ash.

"Eh, I've heard of worse," said Leo, though he too also looked disturbed. "You won't _believe_ the ways some other ungodly monsters create their minions. There's this one elder god thing living under a lake that injects its worshippers with a venom that-"

"We don't really need to know," Pikachu cut him off. "What was that you were saying about time being of the essence, Mr. DeKappa?"

"You must kill the dragon and all of its children as soon as possible. It won't be much longer until the dragonets are too big to be satisfied by our village crops, and its cruel parent unleashes them on Turtle Town to feast on everyone therein and sate their endless hunger! You have to kill them before that can happen!" Leo's father told them. "You must strike them down now, while they are still vulnerable!"

"No problem!" Ash said. "We were going to do that anyway!"

"Of course, there _is_ the problem of it being a deathless horror to consider," Pikachu pointed out.

"Nothing to worry about!" Leo corrected him. "From the way Dad's described it, the dragon's nothing more than your typical dracozombie or dracolich. All we gotta do is remove its phylactery-"

"Its what?" asked the confused Pikachu.

"The thingy animating it. If we remove that, it'll die for good!" Leo explained.

"And get the first Star Badge in the process," Ash said. "Killing two Fearow with one stone…Arceus, I hate Fearow…"

"And kill a bunch of little children as well…" Pikachu muttered.

"Don't worry, they're definitely evil," Ash said. He paused. "At least, I hope they are. If they're not…well…"

"We'll figure it out when we get there," Leo said.

Ash nodded vigorously. "Yeah! Definitely!" Pikachu sighed and shook his head.

"Leonardo, you will need my sunglasses if you are to defeat the dragon and succeed in your future adventures," Leo's father told his son. "I want you to take the glasses with you when you face the monster. But, before you claim them for your own and go off to slay the great beast, I have one last request."

"Sure thing, Dad! What is it? You want me to bring the dragon's head back as a trophy?" Leo asked.

"No, my son…I want you to destroy me," the skull said.

There was a pause. Leo blinked. "Uh…I'm sorry, but I must have misheard you. I thought you just asked me to kill you."

"I did," his father said.

"…Okay, WHAT THE HELL?!" a horrified Leo shouted.

"Yeah, that's kind of messed up," an appalled Ash agreed.

"You've just seen your son again for the first time in six years. Why do you want to die now?" asked the puzzled Pikachu.

"The instant you remove my sunglasses, the dragon's spell will take full hold of me, and I will be reduced to a mindless zombie like the others," Leo's father explained. "Call me vain, but I do not wish to suffer such an ignominious end as that. Please, Leo…spare me that fate! End my life, so that I may leave this undead limbo and rest in peace at last!"

Leo trembled in shock. "I…Dad…h-how can you ask me to do that?! I JUST FOUND YOU! And now you're asking me to kill you?!"

"Please, Leo," the skull begged him. "I do not want to become a monster. Destroy me to end my torment. Do it now, before it is too late!"

"I…" Leo shook his head fiercely. "No! No fucking way, Dad!"

The skull seemed taken aback. "What?"

"How can you ask something so selfish of me?! For the past six years, everyone thought you were DEAD! And now that I've finally found you at last, you want to take the easy way out rather than seeing everybody again? I thought you were braver than that!" Leo shouted angrily at his father. "What am I supposed to tell Mom, huh? 'Hey Mom, guess what, I found Dad still alive in the dragon's lair! Sorry though, he's not coming home for dinner, because I KILLED HIM!' I don't think she's gonna take it very well, do you?"

"But…but what, then?! You're just going to let me turn into a mindless monster?! How is that any better?!" the skull protested.

"I'm not just going to let you get turned," Leo declared. "I'm gonna take you home!"

There was a long pause. "…What?" the skull asked finally, utterly confused.

"This conversation just gets weirder and weirder…"Pikachu muttered.

"Yeah, that's right! I'm gonna take you home with me. And I'll show you to Mom, and she'll stop smoking and being depressed all the time, and we'll be a family again!" Leo cried, tears streaming down his face.

"…Leo, you do realize that, even if I _don't_ drop dead—for real—the moment you slay the dragon and its evil magic ceases, I'll still be a mindless undead horror, don't you?" Leo's father asked cautiously.

"Maybe you won't be," Leo insisted, firmly entrenched in denial. "Maybe the spell breaking will give you your senses back. Maybe it won't. But even if it kills you, at least I'll be able to bury you at last. And if it doesn't, and you're still a monster…well, you'll still just be a head. Not much you can do other than bite people. We'll put you on the coffee table or in the kitchen or something, and talk to you and pretend you're saying something legible back to us."

Everyone stared at Leo. "Is that really a good idea?" Ash asked skeptically.

"Oh sure, I've seen plenty of movies where, in the aftermath of a zombie apocalypse, the survivors keep a few as pets!" Leo said, waving off their concerns. "This isn't much different. Better, actually, since he won't smell as much."

"…You're going to turn me into a pet?!" Leo's father cried. "You know, this little niche here is starting to look more comfortable by the minute…"

"Hey, at least you'll be at home rather than stuck here in this dank, dragon-filled castle all the time," Leo pointed out. "Ash, would you mind taking my Dad down from there, if you please?"

"Um, okay," said Ash, not entirely certain what the heck was going on anymore. As the tallest member of Team Aurabolt, Ash was easily able to pluck the wildly protesting skull from its niche and lower it to Leo's level.

"Leo, wait! Please, at least let me die with some dignity! I don't want to be an undead paperweight!" Leo's father begged his son.

"Sorry, Dad," Leo said, removing the bandana from around his neck. "But a Squirtle's gotta do what a Squirtle's gotta do! You taught me that, remember?" With that, he tied the cloth around his father's mouth, silencing his desperate pleas and causing him to make muffled clicking noises as his teeth clashed against each other.

Pikachu shook his head in dismay. "I would never treat my father like this…"

"Even if he asked you to kill him?" Ash asked.

Pikachu paused to consider that for a moment. "I suppose it would depend on the circumstances," he admitted.

"Right," Leo agreed. "And the circumstances right now require me to do this. Sorry Dad." He reached a hand out to the sunglasses his father's skull was wearing…only to hesitate mere millimeters away.

"Having second thoughts?" Ash asked him.

"I…no, not exactly," Leo said quickly. "I just realized that…that if I'm wrong, and I _can't_ find a way to make him his old self again after we kill the dragon, then this could be the last time I ever speak to my father again." He slowly drew his hand back. "Maybe I shouldn't take his mind away. Not yet. I don't want him to die a monster."

Pikachu smiled, clearly pleased by Leo's attitude. "That's very mature of you, Leo-"

"On the other hand, I _really_ want to wear those glasses. And Dad told me to take them. So…" Leo's hand darted out and snatched the sunglasses off his father's skull. "Besides, maybe I can stick him in a bowling ball and use his supernatural desire for vengeance to smash bad guys and stuff!" Pikachu facepalmed.

The skull stiffened in Ash's hands, the empty eye sockets that had been hidden by the super-cool shades wide and staring…and then, with a garbled snarl, the skull started thrashing wildly, trying to jump out of the Lucario's grip. "Whoa there! Little guy seems in a hurry to get somewhere!" Ash commented.

"Maybe to rip out his son's throat?" Pikachu suggested morbidly.

"Nah, he probably just wants to give me a kiss. Isn't that right, Dad?" Leo asked, taking the skull from Ash and holding it up to his cheek. The muzzled Wartortle's cranium lunged forward and bumped against Leo's head, but since its mouth was covered it didn't do any damage and just felt like a nuzzle to the Squirtle. Leo chuckled. "Yeah, I love you too, Dad." Ash and Pikachu sweatdropped.

"Should you be doing that?" Ash asked Leo as the Squirtle put the skull of his father inside his shell.

"Hey, if Manscrub Fourpwood could stick a dog, a live monkey, and Murphy the Demonic Shrunken Head down his pants, I see no reason I can't do the same with my father's skull," Leo replied.

"And…who is Manscrub Fourpwood?" Pikachu asked, certain he'd regret it.

He was right. "Only the Mightiest Pirate on the Seven Seas! Only he isn't, but he's married to a hot pirate governor wife, so that has to count for something," Leo explained.

"Ah," said Ash. "So. You gonna put those things on now?"

"Hmm?" Leo glanced at the sunglasses he was holding. "Oh! Yeah, definitely." He took off his regular glasses and stored them in his shell, raised the sunglasses over his head, then reverently started to lower them in an incredibly slow and dramatic fashion.

"Just put them on already!" Pikachu snapped, more than tired of all these shenanigans.

Leo scowled at him. "Okay, fine. Geez." He donned the sunglasses. "Henshin a-go-go, baby! Hoooowah!" Making loud and random utterances, he struck a series of poses which were probably supposed to be cool but just looked rather stupid, flailing his arms and legs about randomly, until he whacked himself in the face by accident and fell over on his shell. "Ow. That wasn't supposed to happen." Ash and Pikachu sweatdropped.

After wiggling back and forth a bit on the ground, Leo managed to roll over and push himself up. He looked himself over, a disappointed expression on his face. "I was hoping I'd get a skin-tight spandex outfit or something…hey, were there any explosions or cool special effects when I put these things on?"

"No," said Ash.

"Thankfully," said Pikachu.

"Oh." Leo frowned. "Well…hey, how do I look? Am I super-cool now?" He flexed his arms to try and look like a muscleman, and failed.

Ash suddenly had a flash of memory, seeing himself commanding a Squirtle that looked almost exactly like Leo (but a lot cooler) to put out a fire. Shaking himself out of it, he said, "You look like yourself, wearing a pair of really nice sunglasses."

Leo's shell sagged, crestfallen. "And I don't feel any different either…and I can't see through walls or perceive power levels or do any of that other stuff my Dad said I could! No fair!" His lip quivered. "Did I take these from him for nothing?"

"Well, he _did_ say that you'd have to unlock those abilities on your own," Pikachu said, taking pity on Leo and deciding not to say what he really thought; that Leo's father had gone insane due to being stuck in a niche as a bodiless head for the last six years and had made the whole thing up. "It'll probably just take time."

It was almost painful to see how quickly Leo clung to this one frail hope. "Yeah, that's probably it…after all, no true hero ever comprehends their full abilities until he has the experience and control to know how to use them, right?"

Ash nodded. "Definitely. Why do you think I carry that book of mine everywhere I go? Without it, I'll never be able to unlock my full potential!"

"It's the same with me, then!" Leo decided. "Except that I don't have any user manual…oh well, I'll figure it out eventually, I suppose."

"That's the spirit!" Ash said cheerfully. "So, what now?"

Leo pointed dramatically into the air. "We kill the dragon and avenge all those other people who aren't my father, since he's sort of okay at the moment, just not himself!"

"Sounds good to me," said Pikachu. "Let's go."

They continued down the hallway, eventually reaching and climbing the stairs to the next level. At the top, Ash paused to scan the floor for any potential threats…

And froze. "What is it?" Pikachu asked, noticing how tense Ash had suddenly gotten.

The Lucario's eyes snapped open. "We're not alone."

…

The castle library had seen better years. When the Toe clan ruled the place, they had jealously guarded every book and scroll and text in their possession with immaculate care, keeping everything in its place and making sure that anyone who took something without permission or put it back incorrectly paid the price for it. But over the centuries since the clan had been booted from the fortress, the library had deteriorated significantly. It hadn't helped matters that the castle was now inhabited by a bunch of mini-dragons who were more than happy to smash bookcases and rend valuable ancient manuscripts apart for fun and use them as kindling to burn other even more valuable manuscripts. It was enough to make any bibliophile weep.

The intruder currently ransacking the library (not that there was much left to ransack in the first place) was not, however, a bibliophile, and had long ago hardened its heart out of necessity to the point where it probably could not cry, even if it wanted to. It did not curse the elements, the dragons, or anybody else who had been responsible for the library's decay, instead focusing all its concentration on finding its prize. It knew on an instinctive level that what it sought was still here, safe from the ravages of time and ignorant beasts. Now if it could only…

There! An engraving in a brick concealed behind a set of musty tomes, the books carelessly dashed to the floor so that the intruder could get a better look at the carving. It was a circular depression, with a symbol resembling a dragon's toe claw in the middle of it. Certain that this was it (the figure having destroyed all false leads and traps using a Trapburst Orb), the interloper removed a small gold medallion with the same toe symbol on it, pressed it into the engraving, twisted it, and pushed, causing the entire brick to slide a few inches back into the wall.

There was a very quiet click and the almost inaudible groan of numerous gears, counterweights, and other ancient mechanisms concealed within the library walls as centuries-old machinery came to life for the first time in ages. Had the intruder's sense of hearing not been so fine, it might not have heard the machines activating at all. Some books stuffed in the top shelf of a bookcase a few yards away rattled and suddenly fell out as another hidden contraption, a lever in the side of a stone and metal block, slid out from the wall behind it. The intruder took its claws off the brick…

And started as the machinery came to life again, the brick started sliding back out, and the lever began to retract back into the wall! The intruder quickly pushed on the brick again until it slid all the way back into its groove and the lever extended from the bookcase again. Clearly this was a pressure-sensitive device, a safety precaution intended so that more than one person would be needed to open the secret compartment and retrieve the treasure within. Fortunately, the intruder had essentially the same training as the ninjas who had built this place to begin with, and knew at once an easy way to circumvent this dilemma. The intruder formed an ice kunai in its free paw and flung it at the lever. The dagger hit spot-on, as it usually did, pushing the lever down…only for it to pop back up again!

The intruder frowned from beneath the cloth bands wrapped over its face. Had it missed something? It removed its paw from the brick and waited for everything in the chamber to reset. Then it pushed the brick back in, listening carefully.

There. When the lever emerged from the shelf, there was another, similar sound from elsewhere in the room. There had to be two levers. But where was the second? The intruder scanned the library. After a moment, it caught the second lever out of the corner of its eye. It was sticking out from the middle of a shelf on the other side of the room…and the intruder couldn't hit it with anything because there were several rather large piles of debris in the way. There was no way to fling a kunai over there without some serious calculations and figuring out just the right way to bounce it off the walls, and even if that were possible, there'd be no way to hit the first lever too…and even if both its hands were free, the intruder doubted it would be able to hit both levers at once, which was no doubt necessary to activate them. Its mind raced, trying to find a solution…

And that's when Ash, Pikachu, and Leo entered the room. The intruder froze, as did the heroes. Reflexively, the intruder formed a pair of ice kunai between its claws, prompting Ash to get into a fighting stance and summon his Aura while Pikachu drew his sword, cheeks and blade crackling with electricity, and Leo…

Geeked out. "Wow! A real ninja! That is so cool!" the sunglasses-wearing Squirtle cried, pushing past his more experienced companions to get a better look at the intruder.

The intruder, who was indeed a ninja, blinked in surprise. It, or rather, SHE, had not been expecting that reaction. This was normally the point where she would have attacked, but what with her current compromising position, and the fact that the Squirtle was fearlessly walking towards her, still talking excitedly, threw her for a loop. Her training had never taught her how to deal with a fanboy nerd.

"I have never seen a real ninja before!" Leo babbled. "This has to be the best day of my life! First I beat a demon from the Abyss in one of the lamest D+D sessions ever, joined a party of heroes including an Aura Guardian-in-training and a samurai, fought an army of skeletons, was reunited with my long-lost father, received the family shades, and NOW I get to meet a ninja! The only thing that could possibly make this day better is if I met some real live aliens…" The ninja stared at him. He didn't seem to notice. "So what school do you use? Iga? Fuuma? Wind? Thunder? Hidden Leaf? Super Turtle? Crouching Luxray, Hidden Dragonair?" Leo pestered the utterly befuddled ninja, who was not sure how to react to his queries.

Neither were his companions. "Should we do something?" Ash quietly asked his brother.

"I'm not sure," Pikachu confessed. "What's her Aura like?"

"Well…I was alarmed at first when I initially saw it, but now…" Ash frowned. "She's sort of…twisted inside. Her Aura's practically crawling with anger and hatred, but… not towards us. Towards someone else, a specific someone. And herself. An overwhelming rage and guilt, so great that it drowns out almost everything else."

"You can tell all that just by looking at her?" Pikachu asked, rather impressed.

"Well, I may be ad-libbing a bet," Ash confessed. "But that's the impression I got."

"But not a Shadow Pokemon," Pikachu queried.

Ash shook his head. "No. I don't think she's evil, either. There's a lot of…well, darkness to her, but not…_that_ kind of darkness, if you know what I mean." He shrugged. "Then again, she _is _a Sneasel, so-"

"Buneary," Pikachu corrected.

Ash blinked. "Huh?"

"Buneary. She's a Buneary, not a Sneasel," Pikachu explained.

"But…" Ash whirled back to take another look at the ninja, who was starting to look more than a little scared by Leo's senseless nonstop questions about which academy she had been trained at, if she knew any juutsu, whether she'd killed anyone, where he could sign up to be a ninja, etc. Ash realized after a moment that his brother was right, the ninja wasn't a Sneasel…but the mistake was an easy one to make. Considering the way the Buneary outfitted herself, she clearly wanted others to think she was one.

The Rabbit Pokemon seemed to have shaved off the tan fleece on her lower body to make herself slimmer, and wrapped thick black bands of fabric over almost every inch of her body, and what wasn't covered was dyed black. Long hooked metal claws were strapped to the backs of her paws and metal talons were placed over her footpaws to arm every limb. Her right ear was pulled in close to her scalp and dyed like the rest of her fur, while her left ear stuck straight out and had been painted red. Both ears had been stripped of their wool tips. Three rather large red feathers were tied to her posterior to look like a Sneasel 'tail.' Distinctive yellow metal ornaments were placed on her forehead and chest, held in place by her wrappings. Almost all of her face was covered, including her mouth and nose, so all they could see of her was her red eyes (were those contacts or her natural color?) and the dyed-black fur surrounding them. Markings like eyelashes were tattooed around those eyes. "Huh. That's weird. Why do you suppose she dresses like that?"

"To look more intimidating?" Pikachu suggested.

"Leo doesn't seem to be intimidated of her," Ash pointed out.

"Is he intimidated by _anything_?" Pikachu replied. "I think she's more scared of him than he is of her."

Ash sweatdropped. "Right…we should probably go save her, then."

"So, what's your name? Why are you dressed like a Sneasel? You look cool, yeah, but is there a specific reason? Do you know other Sneasels? Were you raised by them? Is that how you became a ninja? Have you ever slept with anyone so you could kill them? 'Cause I've heard some kunoichi do that…or are you not a kunoichi? Are all girl ninjas called that? Does that mean you're single, or that you and your boyfriend have an 'open' relationship due to the nature of your job-" Leo continued bombarding the poor frightened Buneary until Ash put a paw on Leo's shoulder.

"Leo. Quiet," said the Lucario.

"Okay," said Leo, shutting up. Pikachu shook his head in amazement, marveling at how the Squirtle could talk nonstop for five minutes yet still needed to use his inhaler after only running a few steps.

"Hi," Ash said, offering the Buneary his hand. "My name's Ash. This is Pikachu and Leo. We're Rescue Team Aurabolt, here on a mission to slay the evil dragon that's been terrorizing Turtle Town. What's your name? Is there a particular reason you're here in this dangerous old castle?" The Buneary neither responded nor took Ash's hand. She just stared at him. Ash's smile faltered, and he lowered his paw. "Okay…"

"I don't know her name, but I think she's trying to solve a puzzle that'll open a secret compartment somewhere in this library and get the treasure inside," Leo predicted. The Buneary started. How had he known?!

"What makes you say that?" asked a skeptical Pikachu.

"The fact that she's got her hand stuck on something in that shelf and there are two levers over there," Leo explained, pointing at the protruding handles. "Plus, this is a library. They _always_ have secret compartments." Pikachu sweatdropped.

"He's right," said Ash, after scanning the room with Aura-sight. "There's an antechamber of some sort behind one of the walls. I can't tell what's in it, though…the Aura isn't distinct enough. Probably nothing magical or overtly dangerous, though."

"Looks like you're having a little trouble getting in there," Leo said to the ninja. "Want us to help?" She stared at him in confusion and disbelief. Why was he offering to help her, a total stranger?

"Now hang on, not only do we not know this person's motives, we don't know what exactly is inside that compartment," Pikachu argued. "Just because Ash didn't pick up an evil Aura doesn't mean it can't be used for bad things."

"Oh, I'm sure it's nothing to worry about," Leo said dismissively. "After all, she's obviously a good guy, so it must be something beneficial, or at least relevant to whatever personal quest of vengeance she's on." The Buneary gaped at the Squirtle under her facemask. How did he know these things?!

"And…what makes you think that she's a good guy or that she's on a quest of vengeance?" Pikachu asked incredulously.

"She's a lone ninja, and the first one we've encountered in our adventure. Since she hasn't attacked us, that means she has to be a good guy and one of our future party members," Leo explained, as if it were obvious. "Plus, ninjas are _always_ on quests of vengeance. It's one of their defining character traits. That and their rivalry with pirates."

"…Pirates?" Pikachu asked.

"Yep! Everyone knows pirates and ninjas have been warring with each other for centuries!" Leo said with a nod.

Pikachu shook his head slowly. "Leo, where do you _get_ all this stuff?"

"Internet," the Squirtle replied.

"So, uh, is Leo right about any of that stuff? Because we could help you, maybe," Ash offered the ninja. "Well, unless you're up to no good. We sort of object to that kind of thing. You know, on principle. Since we're heroes and all." The Buneary narrowed her eyes, but said nothing.

"What's wrong?" Leo asked. "Meowth got your tongue or something?" His eyes widened as a thought came to him. "Ooh, maybe it does, and she's covering her face to hide the wounds from some grievous injury that keeps her from speaking," Leo suggested, shocking the ninja again. Was the Squirtle psychic or something?!

"That's stupid," Pikachu argued.

"Is not!" Leo said with a huff.

"Well, either way, we can't help you or do anything unless you talk to us," Ash said to the ninja. "If not, we might as well leave." The Buneary said nothing. Ash shrugged. "Well, if you're sure." He started to turn away…

And the Buneary started tapping her claws against the floor. There was some sort of pattern or code in the lengthy series of clicks, taps, and scrapes, but Ash didn't know what it meant. Pikachu and Leo did, though. "Hey, that's Clickspeak!" Leo realized.

"Hmm, maybe your theory wasn't so far off after all, Leo," Pikachu said, ears twitching in tune to the clicks. "Or maybe she just doesn't want us to hear her voice. Either way, at least she's finally communicating."

"Uh, what's Clickspeak?" asked the confused Ash.

"It's a nonverbal language that lots of Pokemon who are either deaf or mute use to communicate, by tapping or clicking a claw or hoof or whatever they have for a limb against the ground in a pattern not unlike Morse Code," Leo explained to him. "It's more effective than sign language, since not all Pokemon have nimble enough fingers or digits to make the appropriate gestures to other people, but just about any Pokemon with at least two legs can stomp on the ground or tap on something. Fish can't do it, naturally, but they have their own forms of alternative communication under the sea."

"Oh," said Ash. "Do you know what she's saying, then?"

Leo shook his head. "Sorry, I'm better at verbal communication. I know at least twenty different languages, two-thirds of which don't actually exist in our world, but I don't know Clickspeak."

"I do," said Pikachu. "My father taught it to me. Many swordsmen use a variant called 'Bladespeak' to communicate with each other by clashing their blades together, sort of like how some Fighting Pokemon are able to 'talk' to each other through their fists."

"Oh, I see," said Ash said, understanding now. "So what's she saying?"

"'Go away. This is none of your business. Leave me alone,'" Pikachu translated.

Ash frowned. "Well, that's friendly."

"She's probably just used to working alone and doesn't trust anybody due to a tragic betrayal in her past. Hey, it might even have been the guy she's trying to get revenge against!" Leo suggested. The ninja's eyes nearly bulged out of her sockets. This was starting to get more than a little creepy. She was wondering if it might be safer just to kill him…but then, who knew what sorts of supernatural forces she might anger?

"Leo, please stop pulling these things out of your ass," said an annoyed Pikachu.

"I'm not pulling things out of my ass, I'm being genre savvy," Leo replied in exasperation. "There's a difference!"

Ash rolled his eyes. "Right. Whatever. Anyway…are you sure you don't want our help? We'd be perfectly happy to give you a hand. Well, so long as you're not going to use whatever's in that secret compartment for bad purposes, that is."

The ninja hesitated. After a moment, she tapped, as translated by Pikachu, _I will use it to kill someone who truly deserves it._

"Told you it was a quest of vengeance," said Leo.

"Shut up, Leo," grumbled Pikachu.

"Who?" Ash asked.

_Nobody you know. One who has no heart._

Ash started at this. "A Shadow Pokemon?!"

The ninja stared at him blankly. _A what?_

"Guess he's not a Nihilator then," said Pikachu.

"You don't have to be part of an evil organization to be evil," Leo pointed out. "He could be a secondary enemy. Maybe an optional boss or something."

"Would getting rid of whoever you're trying to kill help people other than yourself?" Ash asked the ninja.

_Probably, though that is not my intention,_ she replied.

"Well, personally I don't endorse revenge, but…if your target's as bad as you say he is, I suppose it would probably be in our best interests to help you out. What do you need us to do?" Ash asked her. "And don't say no, because we're the kind of people who don't take it for answer."

The Buneary was clearly surprised. _…You would help me, just like that? Without knowing more about my background or history, or even without the prospect of a reward?_

"Definitely," said Ash.

"We do that sort of thing for a living. We're a Rescue Team, you see," Pikachu explained. "We help people in need."

"Plus, you probably wouldn't have told us any of that stuff anyway, given how typically vague and enigmatic you're being," Leo pointed out.

_...Fine,_ the ninja tapped reluctantly. _There are two levers in this room. They need to be pulled simultaneously. I would do it myself, but if I depress this switch, they both retract into the wall._

"No problem," said Ash. "Come on, Pikachu."

"Wait, can't I flip one?" Leo asked.

"Can you climb or jump high enough to reach either of them?" Pikachu asked Leo.

"…Er, no, not unless these shades give me mad jumping skillz," Leo admitted

"Then you have your answer," Pikachu said as he and Ash walked over to their respective levers.

Leo scowled and crossed his arms. "Short, huh? Let's see how they like it when I evolve into a Blastoise and wipe the floors with them…using my giant Hydro Cannons!" The Buneary sweatdropped.

Ash stood ready near his lever, while Pikachu pulled himself up the broken shelves and leaned against his lever. With a nod to each other, they leaned all their weight against the contraptions and pushed down at the same time.

There was a grind of stone against stone, and a small flagstone on the floor rose up on a pillar, revealing…another circular indentation on the side. The ninja swore to herself, not having anticipated yet another countermeasure. "Hey, it looks like you could fit a coin or medallion or something into here," Leo said, examining the indentation, since he was the only one who could. He turned to the ninja. "I don't suppose you'd happen to have something about yea big, with a marking sort of like a big claw on it, would you?"

Eyes wide in surprise, the ninja dug her free hand into her wrappings, pulled out a gold medallion exactly fitting those specifications, and flung it to Leo. "Hey, thanks!" He paused to examine it for a moment. "Hmm, a claw…and the ninjas who used to live here had a dragon's toe for their symbol…hey, I don't suppose you'd happen to be related to those guys, would you? Or maybe to a rival clan?" The ninja did not respond.

"Just put the thing in already," Pikachu called, dangling from the end of his lever. "I can't hang here all day, you know."

Leo rolled his eyes. "All right, all right already. Geez." He put the medallion into the indentation and twisted it.

The room shook, and a pair of inconspicuous bookcases standing against one wall slid aside, revealing a small alcove with a stone box standing atop a raised dais inside. A faded banner with the symbol of the Toe clan was hanging from the wall behind it. "There it is!" Ash cried.

"Finally, some treasure! I knew there had to be some here somewhere!" Leo said.

"Well I'll be…" murmured an impressed Pikachu.

_At last,_ the ninja thought to herself triumphantly. _Now I can have my revenge._

They took their hands off their respective switches…and cried out as the bookcases started sliding back together, and the levers began to retract back into the walls. The ninja immediately pushed her brick back in, Ash and Pikachu grabbed hold of their levers, and Leo pressed his hand against the medallion before it could fully slide back into the floor. The bookcases paused, and then rumbled back open again. The group sighed in relief.

"Wow, whoever built this place really wanted guys like us to have a tough time of it, huh?" commented Pikachu.

"What do we do now?" asked a concerned Leo.

"Wait, I think I have an idea," said Ash. "Let me just…" While still holding the lever down with one elbow, he managed to shrug off his knapsack and hang it over the switch by a strap. Slowly he let go of the lever, and sighed in relief when he saw that his knapsack was heavy enough to continue holding it down. "Good. Now I'll go get the treasure. Nobody let go of whatever they're holding until I get out of there, okay?" They all gave him the affirmative.

Ash entered the alcove, lifted the slab covering the small chest with a little effort, and reached inside to find… "A scroll? That's it?" Ash said in surprise, pulling out an ornate piece of parchment bound with a gold ribbon and a seal with the mark of the Toe clan on it. "Was expecting a little more for some reason."

"Maybe it's the map to some buried treasure?" Leo suggested

Pikachu groaned. "_Another_ map? What, like one treasure hunt isn't enough already?"

"There's some weird markings along one side," Ash reported, examining the bound scroll. "They look like that weird language you've got all over your house, Pikachu."

"Kanji?" Pikachu guessed.

Ash nodded. "Yeah, that." The ninja jumped for joy…in her mind, of course. This had to be what she had come for!

Ash exited the alcove, and with some relief everyone let go of their switches. The bookcases slid back together again and the levers retracted into the walls. Leo pulled the medallion out of its indentation before the flagstone could take it back into the floor with it. The Buneary grabbed it from the Squirtle without thanking him, much to his annoyance, rushed over to the Lucario, and extended a paw, asking him for the scroll.

"Hold on a minute," Pikachu said, coming over. "I'd like to have a look at that, if you don't mind. I want to know what this thing is before we hand it over to a virtual stranger." The ninja tensed. She should have expected something like this would happen. Was she going to have to kill them after all? She doubted she would have many regrets if she did so, having buried such inconvenient emotions long ago, but…still. They had helped her. She didn't want to hurt them if she didn't have to.

Ash handed Pikachu the scroll. The mouse examined the kanji on the side. A frown deepened on his face. "'How to kill an immortal,'" he read. The Buneary stiffened. Pikachu looked up sharply. "The only immortals that come to mind are Ghosts or legendary Pokemon…and I'm pretty sure that you don't need some secret on a scroll to kill a Ghost! Who are you really? Who are you trying to kill? What are you up to?"

"I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding…" Leo said, although he didn't sound so sure.

"Yeah, I mean, she doesn't feel evil…maybe she has a good reason?" Ash suggested, although he didn't sound very sure either.

"Well?" Pikachu asked the ninja angrily, grabbing the handle of Thunder Fang. "We're waiting. What's really going on here?"

The ninja stared at them coldly, contemplating her options. She knew of at least thirty-seven ways to kill the Rescue Team before any of them could draw a weapon on her, and only a few of those carried the risk of seriously injuring her in the process. However, as mentioned previously, she didn't want to kill them if she didn't have to. A comment that the blabbermouth Squirtle had made earlier suddenly stuck out in her mind, giving her another way out of this.

Her shoulders slumped, as if in frustration or despair. She reached up to her face and tore off the black fabric covering her lower features. The trio recoiled when they saw what she had been hiding under there; the bottom of her face was disfigured with rather gruesome burn scars covering her skin and keeping new fur from growing to replace it. They could also see evidence of rather serious scars covering her throat, possibly the reason she had been communicating through Clickspeak rather than using her voice. Taking advantage of their shock, she moved forward with purpose, grabbed Pikachu under the arms, pulled him close, and kissed him passionately on the lips.

The samurai mouse's eyes bulged out of their sockets. Ash and Leo's jaws dropped. "Dude," Leo said faintly, taking his sunglasses off, cleaning them with a handkerchief, and putting them back on, only to see that Pikachu was, in fact, being kissed by the ninja.

"And he was always going on about how I'd be the first one to get kissed, too," Ash agreed, just as amazed.

After about a minute and a half (with tongue!), the ninja released her hapless prisoner and calmly walked away as if nothing had happened. Pikachu blinked a few times, completely stupefied (And trying not to feel aroused. He didn't succeed.), and suddenly realized he wasn't holding the scroll anymore. "Hey, wait! Come back-"

The Buneary whirled around and threw something at the floor. That something turned out to be a smoke bomb, which threw up a cloud of smog that instantly filled the room (and their lungs), allowing her to make her escape. Coughing fiercely, Ash tried to scan the floor with his Aura-sight, but found no sign of her. She was either really fast or had used a Teleport Orb, or some other ninja trick. Either way, she was gone.

"That went well," the Lucario said dryly when the room finally cleared.

"I-I cannot _believe_ I fell for such a ch-cheap trick!" Pikachu stammered, red in the face. "The next time I see her, I'll-"

"You think we'll see her again?" Ash interrupted.

Leo nodded. "Oh, definitely. This was just our first encounter. Since she didn't join our party right away, we'll probably bump into her a few more times before convincing her that we're her friends and she can trust us and boundless vengeance is not the way, and then she'll become part of the team and help us save the world."

"She's a thief and a—a temptress! She'll never be one of us!" Pikachu snapped, both furious and incredibly embarrassed.

Leo shook his head pityingly. "Dude, you have no idea how many party members in video games are former thieves and/or temptresses and/or ninjas, do you? Since she didn't kill us, it's a given she's going to join us eventually."

"Leo, this is not a game, dammit! It's real life, and real life does not work like a video game!" Pikachu shouted.

Leo was unfazed. "That's what all the too-rational characters in games and movies say, and they almost always get proven wrong eventually. And in any event, she's your love interest, so even if she doesn't join our party, she'll at least be a big asset in the future."

Pikachu's jaw dropped. He thought he could hear something in his brain shorting out. "…Could you repeat that, please? I thought I heard you say she was my love interest."

Leo nodded confidently. "I did, and she is."

"…What, because she _kissed_ me?!" Pikachu demanded. "That didn't mean anything!"

"It looked like it meant a lot to me, from where I was standing," Ash said, a sly grin on his face. Pikachu's face turned redder.

Leo nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I saw it too. Since you're the serious no-nonsense samurai character and enforcer of law and justice and all that, it's almost an absolute certainty that you'll fall in love with a thief of the night who uses her feminine wiles to get what she wants. Happens all the time. It's your destiny, man."

"IT IS NOT MY DESTINY!" Pikachu shouted desperately, dearly hoping it was true and that Leo wasn't right, _again._

Ash chuckled darkly. "Now you know how I feel when you and everyone else keep talking about how Misty and I are soulmates."

Leo cocked his head. "Misty? She's that missing friend of yours, right? You never mentioned you were in a relationship with her."

Ash's face paled. By the sinister smirk on his brother's face, he realized he had made a terrible mistake. "N-no, we're not in a relationship! We're just friends! JUST FRIENDS! THAT'S ALL!!!"

Leo raised an eyebrow. "Oh _really_?"

Pikachu chuckled evilly. "Oh yes, just friends…even though they both think the other is incredibly attractive, always wonder what the other one thinks of them, have dreams about each other, have three kids who call them Mom and Dad…"

Leo's eyes widened. "_Really?"_

"It's not like that!" Ash protested. "They only think we're their parents because we happened to be the first things they saw when they hatched from their eggs!"

"Actually, each of them only saw one of you when they first hatched, and eventually concluded that the other one was their second parent," Pikachu corrected Ash. "Three times in a row. Every single one. Uncanny luck for two people who happen to be just friends, don't you think?"

"THAT'S BECAUSE WE ARE!" Ash shouted.

"Aha, I thinkest thou doth protesteth too much!" Leo said smugly.

"Huh?" said a confused Ash.

"He says that because you protest too much, you must be in love with Misty," Pikachu said. "I agree."

Ash sweatdropped. "But by that logic, everyone who's 'just friends' must actually be a couple! That's stupid!"

Leo shook his head. "It's not that you protested at all, but that you did it so vehemently. If you had just laughed it off and said, 'Nah, we're just friends,' I would have believed you. But instead, you were all, 'OMA! OMA! WE'RE JUST FRIENDS, OKAY?! _JUST FRIENDS!_', which _always_ means you're actually something more but in serious denial. I've seen it a million times…though never in real life. This is so totally awesome! I can't wait to meet her. Will you guys have a wedding when this is all over? That happens sometimes too."

Ash turned red. Pikachu fell to the floor, clutching his sides with laughter. Ash turned redder, this time with anger. "WHY YOU LITTLE!" He grabbed Pikachu by the neck and started strangling him. "I KILL YOU!" Naturally, Pikachu electrified him. Just as naturally, Ash ignored him and kept trying to strangle him.

Leo laughed and laughed and laughed…then paused, struck by a sudden thought. "Hey, wait a minute…what about me? Am _I_ gonna get a love interest? So far I'm more of a plucky know-it-all sidekick than the main hero or his oh-so-sexy badass second-in-command. What are my chances of getting a girlfriend on this adventure?"

He pulled out his laptop and proceeded to try and figure that out using a very convoluted algorithm. Ash and Pikachu kept trying to kill each other. Leo's father's skull tried to get free from his bonds so he could eat his son's liver. Upstairs, the dragon fed its whiny children and wondered when the heck the next bunch of adventurers were going to show up, they should have been there hours ago. And the ninja Buneary, whose name they had never gotten, paused as she fled across Green Meadow and glanced back for a moment at the castle, admitting to herself that she might have enjoyed that kiss…

But only a little bit.

…

Meanwhile, in Kanjohenn…

It had been a long hike, but he had climbed up taller and far harsher mountains. The temperature had dropped at least a hundred degrees below zero, and most people would have asphyxiated at this point due to the thin air, but he was able to insulate his body through the power of Aura, and he didn't need much oxygen to breathe, anyway. He could breathe quite comfortably underwater, in fact. He had once spent three whole months living at the bottom of a lake infested with Gyarados to train himself to survive in aquatic conditions. Needless to say, there weren't any Gyarados left in that lake when he was through.

He was almost there. He could tell because his Aura-sight was becoming blurry and fading out, as it always did when he came to this place. The intense magical energy generated here, a convergence of several ley lines (or superstrings, or force lines, or whatever the heck you wanted to call them), created an energy beacon so strong that he couldn't see using his Aura-sight. He would have switched to his regular vision to compensate, but…well, he couldn't use his real eyes. Not anymore.

It didn't matter though, his other senses had become heightened to make up for such a 'minor' inconvenience as blindness. He could 'see' using sound, much as the eyeless Zubats did to navigate their dark caves. And in any event, he knew the trail and the place where he was going by heart, so faced little danger of running into anything unexpected.

He crested the mountaintop at about the same time his Aura-sight fizzled out completely. It didn't matter though, because Aaron could tell from the abrupt temperature change, and the rich and wild scents emanating from beneath him, that he had reached his destination. At the very top of Mt. Freeze was a hollow crater, like that made by a volcanic eruption. However, unlike its sister peak Mt. Blaze, this volcano was long since extinct, hence why it was so cold. However, the concentration of magical energy had allowed a unique ecosystem to form here, a hidden jungle growing high above the tundra and icy peaks below, a lush tropical paradise concealed from all but the few who were able to reach the mountain summit…which was very few people at that, considering the jungle's mistress was very reclusive and did not tolerate trespassers easily. That was also why she was the peak's sole occupant, for she did not get along with others well.

However, she was a personal friend of the Lucario. Sometimes even more than a friend…

And besides, she was expecting him. There were things she needed to speak to him of. He could sense it in Aura.

A small smile on his face, he began his descent into the crater, and the hermitage of the legendary Ninetales of Mt. Freeze.

…

Sorry for the lack of fighting, but this chapter introduced a couple major plot elements and/or characters. Surprised by the ninja? You should be, and she'll DEFINITELY be showing up again in the future.

Next chapter, they'll FINALLY fight the dragon!

Or _will_ they?


	13. Leo and the Dragon

And now…THE DRAGON!

…

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

"Are we there yet?" a tired Leo asked.

"No," Ash replied wearily.

"Are we there yet?" Leo asked again.

"No," said Pikachu.

"Are we there yet?" Leo asked.

"No," said Ash.

"Are we there yet-"

"NO, FOR THE LAST TIME!" Pikachu snapped, struggling not to draw his sword and cut Leo's head off, desperately trying to remind himself that samurai did not kill innocents, no matter how annoying they might be.

There were a few moments of silence as they continued climbing up the very long, winding spiral staircase running up the side of the tower's wall. For some reason, the tower—the tallest in the castle, and the one the dragon was living in—was partially hollow on the inside, with a large space between the outer wall and a second, smaller tower or support pillar of some kind taking up everything else, rising high above them to support the ceiling lost to view hundreds and hundreds of feet over their heads. Very small windows were set into the walls here and there, allowing thin shafts of light into the big, dim chamber. The place was musty and dank, and combined with the somewhat ripe odor of drying dragon droppings, along with something else, made for a somewhat oppressive environment, unfortunately for poor Ash. A set of stairs were carved into the side of the outer wall, and for whatever reason didn't have railings, so they had to be very careful where they stepped, especially because stairs were missing here and there due to rowdy baby dragons tearing up parts of it for fun. Thankfully, there was no dragon dung impeding their path (the brats had left it on the ground far below, in the gap between the stairs and the inner tower) so there was nothing else blocking their path other than some stray bones (thankfully inanimate) and the aforementioned holes here and there.

There was also Leo, if you counted his complaining as an impediment. It wasn't entirely his fault, though; the poor out-of-shape turtle was really not built for climbing stairs, especially not this many. He needed to use his inhaler every few steps, his body was covered in a thick sheen of sweat, his shades were constantly slipping off of his nose, and he was starting to look a little green in the face. He had told the guys to go ahead of him countless times, bravely claiming he'd catch up. They probably would have too if they weren't equally tired from the climb.

"Maybe this is the real reason nobody's ever killed the dragon…" Ash grumbled. "They were too worn out from climbing these stairs to put up a good fight!"

"We'll take a break just before we get there to catch our breaths," Pikachu decided, wiping away some sweat. "The dragon can't possibly fit in here without smashing a huge floor in its den and possibly causing the entire tower to collapse, so as long as it doesn't have some skeletons to send down after us or its kids don't decide to come out and 'play', we should be all right."

"What if it sticks its head down the stairwell and breathes fire at us?" Leo gasped, nearly keeling over from the effort to speak.

"Then we're fucked," Pikachu said blandly.

"Okay," Leo wheezed.

They kept on walking for a few more minutes. Leo opened his mouth to speak again. "You'd better not be asking if we're there yet," Pikachu said coldly.

"Actually, I wanted to know if Ash would carry me," Leo said.

"Not unless you're willing to dump most of the stuff you're carrying in your shell," Ash replied at once.

"No way!" Leo cried in alarm. "I can't just leave it here! It could fall and get broken or something, or that ninja might come back and steal it…or a kiss from Pikachu."

Pikachu groaned and smacked his face. Ash shook his head. "You don't even need most of that stuff. A warrior should never carry more than he needs into battle, since it will only encumber him and make it harder to fight. Plus, material possessions are irrelevant in the grand scheme of things."

"Then why do you carry that book of yours everywhere?" Leo asked.

"It's a manual for my powers, I need it," Ash replied.

"And what about all those other items and food and junk you've got in there? Because I know you have it," Leo continued.

"Those could actually come in handy in a fight, or if I need a bite to eat," Ash explained. "My knapsack holds only what I need, nothing more."

"Well, I need _this_ stuff," Leo said stubbornly. "Well, okay, maybe not now, but eventually!" The other two frowned at him. Leo scowled. "Look, I would've dumped the stuff I didn't need at home if you two'd actually let me run back to town to drop it off! This is your fault as much as mine!"

"We're not the ones who told you to bring all that stuff in the first place," Pikachu pointed out.

"I didn't hear either of you complaining when the stuff I brought saved your rears from Mewgle," Leo grumbled, but didn't argue further. Instead, he pulled his father's gagged skull out of his shell. "Dad, do you think they're right and I shouldn't have taken all this stuff with me?" The skull lurched in Leo's palm, snarling ferociously. Or would have, if its mouth weren't tied up. Leo nodded. "Yeah, I suppose you're right. The minifridge probably _was_ a bit much…"

Ash and Pikachu sweatdropped. "Is he actually talking to his dad's skull?" Ash quietly asked his brother.

"Don't worry, I don't think he can actually understand anything. I mean, the skull _is_ mindless now," Pikachu said.

Abruptly, Leo burst into laughter. "Man, you always say the funniest things, Dad!"

They sweatdropped again. "Leo, on the other hand, may very well be insane," Pikachu said with a sigh.

"That's a surprise?" Ash murmured.

"Alas, poor Dad, I knew you well…and still do, actually," Leo joked. "It's great to have you back!" The skull gave a muffled growl and tried to lunge at Leo's jugular. It wouldn't have made it even if it could have gotten out of the turtle's hand, seeing as how Leo's neck was almost entirely in his shell. "Aw, I love you too, Dad!"

"I'm starting to wonder if those shades of his _induce_ sanity rather than prevent it…" said a disturbed Pikachu.

They continued climbing the stairs for an indefinable period of time until they came around a bend and saw, to their relief, the end of the staircase, just a few hundred yards ahead. It continued winding around the wall before them and terminated in a ramp leading into a large rectangular hole cut in the ceiling, which was now much closer than it had been before. "Finally!" said a relieved Ash. "I thought we'd never get here."

"I thought we were walking on one of those downward-moving escalators, so that we weren't actually going up or down but were stuck in one place," Leo commented.

Ash and Pikachu stared at him. "What would one of those be doing in an ancient castle?" asked a confused Ash.

Leo shrugged. "It's a castle built by ninjas. They install all sorts of crazy shit as security measures. Just look at all the stuff we had to do to open that door in the library and give that scroll to Pikachu's girlfriend."

Pikachu flushed. "She's NOT my girlfriend!"

"Not yet," Ash said slyly.

"She'll be my girlfriend the same time you stop beating around the bush and admit your feelings to Misty," Pikachu growled.

Ash tried not to blush. "For the last time, we're just friends!"

Pikachu smirked. "Well then, I guess neither of us has anything to worry about, do we?"

Leo rolled his eyes. "Could you two postpone your denial-fest for later? You should be careful to make promises like that; you never know when they'll come to pass. In any event, I believe someone said something about a break just before we fought the boss? How about it?"

Agreeing that this would probably be a good stopping point, the trio sat down on the stairs, keeping an eye on the opening in the ceiling. They heard what they thought might be voices from above them, but they were too far away from the hole to hear them distinctly, not even Ash could clearly make them out at the moment. Their relief to take a break was almost palpable in the way they sighed as they stretched out their sore muscles and leaned back against the hard, cool tower wall behind them. Ash almost fell asleep until Pikachu nudged him back into wakefulness.

Leo chugged down three bottles of some carbonated beverage in a row, throwing each bottle off the side of the stairs once he was through with it. "Ah, that feels much better," he said, now fully rehydrated.

"You shouldn't litter," Pikachu lectured him.

"The monsters who live here litter," Leo pointed out. "A few empty bottles is nothing compared to the literal crap they've dumped all over the place." The mouse grunted, reluctantly admitting this might be true.

"Any change upstairs?" Pikachu asked Ash.

Ash closed his eyes and looked at the ceiling. "Nope, still one big—and weird—Aura, and about…half a dozen smaller ones. They're definitely baby dragons, from the size and…I guess 'distinctiveness' of their Auras. They're pretty similar to the big ones, except that their Aura is more alive and its is, well…"

"Undead?" Leo supplied.

Ash nodded. "Yeah, that. Most of its Aura is really dim, almost nonexistent. Sort of like the Auras of the skeletons, too. There's only one real bright spot on its body, and that would be in its chest."

"That must be the first Star Badge," Pikachu reasoned. "If Leo's father's story can be believed."

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?!" Leo asked angrily. "You saying my dad's a liar?!" He pulled out his father's skull and shoved it in Pikachu's face. "If you think so, then say it to his face!" The undead Wartortle snarled and tried to lunge at Pikachu.

The electric mouse sweatdropped. "Uh, that's not what I meant…I'm just saying that it might have put the Badge somewhere else in the last six years, rather than where it's incredibly visible and vulnerable, or it might have some entirely different power source responsible for its reanimated status that your father didn't notice since he was too busy fighting for his life, then sitting in a niche as an immobile skull for a really long time."

"Oh," Leo said, mollified. He put his father's skull back in his shell. "Those are pretty good points."

"It's most likely that the Star Badge is the thing we need to watch out for, however," Pikachu continued. "Leo, you said that if we can remove it from the dragon's possession, it might lose its power and die for real?"

Leo frowned. "It should…as long as it's not a dracolich in the same way the ones in D&D are. Then we might have a problem."

"Why's that?" Ash asked.

"In D&D, the only way to kill a lich is to destroy its phylactery. And if the Star Badge is this dragon's phylactery…" Leo said.

Pikachu frowned. "I see. That _is_ a problem."

"Is it, though?" Ash asked. "If we destroy it, then the bad guys can't use it to open the door under Treasure Town."

"But then we can't use it to find the Nihilators' hideout, either, or Misty and Gardevoir," Pikachu pointed out. "Remember? To reveal the next star, we need to use this one on the map. If we destroy the Badge, we'll never be able to find the next one."

"Not necessarily," Ash argued. "The map might just automatically show us where the next one is, since the one it was leading us to got destroyed. Alternatively, we could snatch it from the dragon, use it on the map, and _then_ destroy it."

"Assuming we _can_ destroy it," Leo interjected. "Magical Macguffins like these usually don't break so easily. Except the ones that do. And even the ones that do have a tendency to either destroy the planet if shattered, or can just be reassembled again."

Ash frowned. "Do you think destroying the Star Badge would destroy the world?"

Leo shrugged. "No clue. You've said it's not supposed to be very powerful, but considering that it can raise the dead and break the seal on a very evil door…"

"Good point," Pikachu admitted.

"Let's see if we can't at least get the Badge from that thing first, and do whatever we can from there," Ash suggested.

Pikachu sighed. "So, we're going in without any strategy again?"

Ash shrugged. "It's worked for us in the past. And you know what they say, 'The best-laid plans fall apart on first encounter with the enemy.' Or something like that. So, better to make a plan up on the fly than come up with a complex tactic which immediately becomes obsolete when we fight the bad guys."

"You got that from another fortune cookie, didn't you?" Pikachu accused his brother.

Ash gave him an exasperated look. "Not _all_ my wisdom comes from those, you know…it actually says that in _Secrets of an Aura Master._"

"Ah," Pikachu said apologetically. "My bad."

"You seem to pick on him a lot," Leo observed.

"I don't mean to," Pikachu admitted. "It's just usual fraternal squabbling. Ash gets his fair share of ribs in on me too now and then, don't you Ash?"

"Yeah, but not as many as you, since I seem to screw up more often than you do…" Ash grumbled a little bitterly. A wicked smile flashed across his face. "Of course, now that you finally have a girlfriend, I have some new ammunition on you…"

Pikachu groaned. "Now I know how you feel when I nag you about Misty. I don't suppose if I apologize for that, you'll cut it out?"

"Nope," Ash said evilly.

Pikachu sighed. "Figures."

"Man, I wonder when I'm gonna get my love interest," Leo said wistfully. "I hope she's pretty. And somewhat bright. I'm sorta into Action Chicks, due to anime overexposure, just so long as she isn't a Mary Sue or the type that likes to beat me up…I don't know if my frail body could handle that."

"Your 'frail body is encased in a rather thick shell," Pikachu pointed out.

"Dude, the majority of Action Chicks could break this thing apart with their _bare hands,_" Leo said flatly. "Assuming they don't have oversized hammers to do it for them."

"He has a point, I'm pretty sure Misty could if she were really motivated," Ash admitted. "Not that she'd have to, since she could just turn herself into water and flow into his shell and…I dunno, drown him or something."

"You can't drown Water Pokemon," Pikachu pointed out.

"No, but that _would _ruin all my stuff!" the alarmed Leo cried. "Most of this stuff isn't exactly waterproof, if you know what I mean!"

Ash and Pikachu stared at him. "…You're a Water Pokemon who _carries_ stuff that can be easily damaged by water around with him?!" Pikachu asked incredulously.

"Well, my shell is technically waterproof," Leo pointed out. "So no water can get in, even when I'm swimming underwater…well, except through the holes left behind when I retract my head and limbs. Hmm, that is a bit of a design flaw, isn't it?"

"Why didn't you put all your stuff into a waterproof sack so it would be safe inside of you?" Ash asked.

"There aren't any big enough to fit everything into," Leo replied.

Ash and Pikachu sweatdropped. Pikachu sighed. "When this is over, we're going to need to have a talk with you about what to take with you and what to leave behind…"

"Speaking of which, we should probably get moving and finish this monster off," Ash said, wincing as he got to his feet. "So, how are we doing this? Busting in with attacks blazing, or try and sneak in?"

"Well, our options are rather limited since there's only one entrance to its lair," Pikachu pointed out. "But if we could assess what's up there before barging in, that would probably be prudent. Ash, your Aura-sight is usually reliable, but it's still not one hundred percent perfect. Also, it generally focuses more on living things than inanimate objects or obstacles in a room, and doesn't always translate as well to those who only have regular vision. If only we could get a look without them knowing we're there…"

"Ooh! I have just the thing!" Leo said, rummaging in his shell. He pulled out a round wooden tube with a few kinks in it. "Tada!"

"What's that?" asked Ash.

"A periscope I made from some cardboard toilet paper rolls," Leo explained. "There are a couple of tiny mirrors inside that reflect light going in one end and send it straight to your eye at the other end, so that you can see what's going on in whatever room you poke it into. If we stand near that opening in the ceiling, but don't go through it, we should be able to stick the periscope over the rim and see what's going on in the tower without being noticed…so long as nobody's standing there waiting for us, that is."

"All the dragons are on the opposite side of the tower from us, so I think we should be good," Ash reported, glancing above them with Aura-sight again. "Good idea, Leo."

"Definitely," agreed the impressed Pikachu. "Where'd you learn how to make something like that?"

Leo smirked. "Internet. I have a couple of makeshift microphones too, used for similar purposes, but seeing as how there's giant monsters with big voices up there, I doubt we'll have any problems hearing any plot-relevant conversations which might give us insight into the dragon's weaknesses, motives, or backstory."

Ash and Pikachu sweatdropped. "Why would the dragon be talking about something like that at the exact moment we happen to be right outside its lair, even if it doesn't know we're listening?" Pikachu asked.

Leo gave him a confused look. "Why wouldn't it?" Pikachu facepalmed.

So, that's what they did. They cautiously and quietly climbed up the remainder of the staircase, stopped just underneath the closest lip of the rectangular opening over their heads, climbed on top of each other's shoulders (Ash reluctant about this, since he'd have to bear all of Leo's weight on his shoulders) and passed the cardboard periscope up to Pikachu, who was naturally on top since he was the smallest and lightest. Standing on his tiptoes on Leo's trembling hands, Pikachu slowly raised the periscope just above the top of the hole and looked through the near end to see what awaited them.

The chamber the dragon had chosen as its lair was surprisingly spacious, a few dozen yards wider in diameter than the tower it was perched on (which had been pretty broad to begin with) and looked almost as if its builders had intentionally constructed it to house a giant Pokemon someday, considering that the ceiling was tall enough for its inhabitant to walk about in comfortably on its hind legs, only having to bend over a little bit so it didn't bump its head. Bits of bone and armor were scattered everywhere, along with (surprisingly small) piles of Poke', jewels, and other bits of treasure. Large holes had been smashed through the walls (and a couple through the roof) to allow a constant breeze to flow through the chamber and wash out some of the rather unpalatable aroma of dead bodies that seemed to be all over the place, even squelching out the none-too-pleasant smell of baby dragon. What looked like (and probably were) dried pelts and furs from a number of the dragon's former victims were hanging from a few walls. They had been bound together into makeshift curtains which could be drawn over the gaping holes in case it got too chilly in the nighttime. While Pikachu found them macabre, he had to admit it was a rather functional use for them. An abnormally large and misshapen skull, too big to have belonged to one of the mercenaries or other warriors who'd died trying to conquer this place, hung from an old torch sconce sticking out crudely from one wall. A small bell was hanging next to it for some reason.

And there, on the far side of the room, was the dragon. It was a thirty or forty-foot tall Garchomp, the biggest specimen of the species Pikachu had ever seen (Not that Pikachu had ever seen a live Garchomp before, but he knew they weren't normally _this_ big.) Its coloration was somewhat abnormal, but Pikachu supposed that had something to do with it being a walking corpse. He wondered how the turtles of Turtle Town had never noticed that the dragon was rather obviously an undead monster before, but supposed that it always tried to get some fresh meat if it could to regenerate itself before heading out, and the turtles were probably too terrified of the thing to notice something like that. The beast was a rather sickly gray-blue, with a dark red underbelly with a number of holes in it, including a rather large slit right down the middle through which ribs, festering organs, and a faintly glittering object could barely be seen. A patchy dull yellow diamond pattern was right underneath the red belly, placed between the monster's legs. There was also a yellow cross on the dragon's nose, which looked like a cross between the wings of a jet and a hammerhead shark, though the red-irised eyes were placed in the sides of the head rather than in the odd horns growing from the sides. Well, actually, only one eye was placed in its head, the other seemed to be missing, along with half of its left horn. Its gaping jaws were rather disgusting to see, what with the way its connecting muscles seemed to have deteriorated away to the point that it couldn't properly close its mouth, and all the malformed and rotting black teeth growing out cancerously from its pockmarked gums. Two wing-like fins grew down from the monster's arms, along with a dorsal fin from its back and one shaped like a tailfin at the end of its tail, but all were full of holes you could probably have stuck five Pichu through. Spikes grew from its hind limbs and arms, but several of them seemed to be missing, along with a couple of toes.

"I can see the dragon," Pikachu whispered down to his friends, revolted. "It's a Garchomp…and not a very good-looking one, at that!"

"A Garchomp? Huh, I could've told you that!" Leo remarked.

Ash and Pikachu stared up and down at him, respectively. "Then why didn't you tell us that earlier?!" Pikachu snapped.

Leo shrugged, nearly dislodging the electric mouse. "It didn't seem pertinent at the time." The other two had to try very hard not to facefault, since that would probably get the dragon's attention.

Turning his attention back to the monster, Pikachu noted to himself that what was _really_ disturbing, however, was not the dragon's advanced state of decay, but how the shambling abomination was doting on a half-dozen Gible at least a foot taller than Ash squealing and wriggling about in a series of horizontal holes drilled in the back wall as the Garchomp fed them vegetables and berries from a rather large pile of produce sitting on a tarp on the floor, no doubt the dragon's latest stolen shipment from Turtle Town. "More, Mama, more!" the Land Sharks chirped eagerly, clearly not in the least bit repulsed by the fact that the food they were eating had been handed to them by a decaying zombie.

"Now, now, dears, I think that's enough for the moment, you wouldn't want to have any tummy-aches and get any nightmares, now would you?" the giant undead Garchomp lovingly crooned to its children in a voice like a gust of tortured wind out of the Abyss.

The Gible shivered at the thought, clearly terrified of nightmares. "No, Mama!" they cried in unison.

The Garchomp smiled (sort of, her jaw muscles didn't work right) and nodded at her children. "Very good. You can have more later. But remember not to eat too much now, we need to space this out for the rest of the month."

"Why you not get more food from turtles?" one of the Gible complained.

"Because if I took more food from them, they wouldn't have enough to feed themselves," the Garchomp explained. "And then they would die, and couldn't harvest more food for us, and then you would starve and die as well. We need them to stay alive so that _you_ can stay alive, my dears, until you are big and strong enough to survive on your own."

"And then we eat all the turtles, Mama?" another Gible asked.

"Mmm. We'll see," she grunted noncommittally, neither a yes nor a no. The Gible squawked unhappily at this, but did not press her further.

"Did you hear that, Leo?" Pikachu whispered down to the Squirtle.

Leo nodded slightly, trying not to make Pikachu lose his balance. "Yeah. I'm not sure whether I should be glad she actually _wants_ to keep us alive or worried that she might let her kids eat us all once they're old enough…"

"She didn't say she _would_ let them eat you, though," Ash pointed out. "Maybe she'll let you guys live as a reward for helping her feed her kids for so long?"

"Or maybe she'll reward us by letting us feed her children one last time…" Leo muttered darkly. "But we're going to kill her for good before that happens!"

"Shh, she's still talking to her kids," Pikachu hissed down at Leo.

"When mean Pokemon come to kill you, Mama?" one of the Gible questioned his mother as the dragon tied the tarp back up around the food and pushed it over to a dry corner.

The Garchomp frowned and glanced over at the opening in the floor. Pikachu quickly pulled down his periscope so as not to be spotted. "That's a good question, darlings. I expected them quite some time ago. My skeletons would have told me if they were dead, and have brought their corpses to me…" She snorted. "Hmmph. Must have gotten lost. Typical men!"

"Hey!" Ash almost yelled, before realizing that might get them killed, and biting his tongue at the last minute. Which hurt.

"If you children hadn't chewed through the tripwire…_again_…" the Garchomp continued, causing the Gibles to fidget uneasily in their holes. "That bell on the wall would have rung when they started up the stairs underneath us, so I would have known they were coming." The trio exchanged startled glances at this. They hadn't noticed any tripwire on the way up. How odd, that they had earned a reprieve due to the actions of one of the monsters they had come here to slay…

The Garchomp shrugged, clearly not too bothered by the minor problem. "Oh well, they'll show up sooner or later. And then I'll eat them and use their flesh to keep myself from falling apart for a little longer," the Garchomp said. She looked down at herself. "Though it seems to be a losing battle…"

"Can we eat them too, Mama?" one of the Gible asked.

"No! Mama need to eat as many adventurers as she can, so she stay big and strong to feed and protect us!" another Gible said sternly.

"Without Mama, we be dead as Papa!" one of the Gible's siblings agreed.

"Deader," another still said bitterly. "At least Papa get to live long before dying." As if on cue, all the dragons looked rather sadly at the skull hanging from the wall, which Pikachu suddenly realized must be a Garchomp skull, explaining its odd shape and size.

"Me wish me were alive when Papa was…" one of the babies said sadly. "Then me know him outside of Mama's stories…and me eat mean Pokemon who kill him!"

Leo started at this. "…They lost a parent too?" he whispered to himself.

"You kill mean Pokemon, right Mama?" a Gible asked.

The Garchomp growled viciously. "Oh, I did more than just kill them, my dears…I made them wish they had never been born. Just as I did to those idiot turtles who tried to kill you before you hatched!" Leo had to bite his lip to keep from shouting at that. Ash and Pikachu both gave him anxious looks, but thankfully he kept quiet. The undead dragon sighed. "Of, if only I had known of the Diamond Star's power earlier, your father might still be with us today, and we would not have to live in this moldering ruin, stealing food until you are old enough to fend for yourselves! And I could have made your father's killers suffer long after their deaths…"

"Good thing Uncle Mewgle teach you dead-magic, so you never die!" one of the Gible chirped happily, causing the eavesdropping trio to nearly fall over in shock. "Otherwise we all be dead-dead, like Papa!"

"I did _not_ see this coming," said a stunned Ash.

"I _told_ you if we spied on them we'd hear a plot-relevant conversation!" Leo said triumphantly to Pikachu. "I _told _you!"

The mouse rolled his eyes. "Nobody likes a know-it-all, Leo."

"In any event, children, those adventurers should be here soon…but since there's no telling when they'll get here, I think it's time you took a little nap and slept off the big meal I just gave you," the Garchomp continued.

"Awwww! We not wanna go to sleep!" the Gible shouted in unison, just like Pikachu's little brother did whenever their mom tried to put him to bed when he didn't want to.

"Yeah, we wanna watch you fight mean Pokemon!" one of the children piped up.

"Yeah! See fight! See fight!" the other Gible squealed.

"I will wake you when they show up," the mother promised her children. "But in the meantime, I think you should get some rest. If you don't get enough sleep, you can't grow up to be big and strong like your father was, now can you?"

The Gibles sighed. "Okay, Mama!"

"But sing lullaby!" one of them suggested.

"Yes! Sing lullaby!" the others agreed.

The Garchomp nodded. "Very well." She opened her mouth wide(r) and started to make a noise which sounded like…like nails on a chalkboard, and a record being played backwards, and broken glass scratching against pavement, and all sorts of other horrible things which caused the three heroes to cry out in agony and collapse on top of each other, clutching their ears in pain. The kids seemed to love it, though, and one by one, as their mother 'sang' to them, they fell asleep in their little holes, snoring as loudly as buzzsaws. The zombie dragon smiled, gently kissed (or gummed) each of her children on the head, then pulled one of her pelt curtains across the wall the dragonets were sleeping in to conceal them from view.

"Ow," Ash mumbled from underneath Leo, having been hit in the head by the turtle's shell when they had fallen down.

"I think I might have gone deaf in one ear," Pikachu said faintly, lying against the wall.

"Eh, I've heard worse," Leo said dismissively. "Though not by much."

"Like what?!" Pikachu asked incredulously.

"The soundtracks and voice acting for some really atrocious games," Leo said. "Not to mention some of those losers on Pokemon Idol. Man, they _really_ cannot hold a tune!"

Ash's ears twitched as they stopped ringing. "She's talking to someone again," he said.

"Who?" Pikachu asked. "Didn't she just put her kids to sleep?"

"Let's take another look and find out," Leo suggested. "Hey, can I be on top this time?"

"No," Ash and Pikachu said bluntly.

They formed their little totem pole again, and hoisted Pikachu back up to take a look at the tower chamber through Leo's makeshift periscope. The Garchomp had crossed the floor away from her concealed children, and was now conversing with her late mate's skull. Pikachu sweatdropped. "I don't believe this…"

"What?" Ash asked.

"She's talking to a skull!" Pikachu replied.

"Ha! Guess I'm not so weird for doing it anymore, now am I?" Leo boasted. "And at least mine can talk back to me!"

"If you can call groaning through that muzzle talking," Pikachu grumbled.

"Be quiet, I'm trying to hear what she's saying!" Ash hissed.

The Garchomp sighed, her whole form seeming to sag against her bones, as much from decay as from exhaustion. "Oh, Drakor…I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this. I've tried to stay strong for the children, for your memory, but…" She looked down at her body unhappily. "There only seems to be so much that the Diamond Star, Mewgle's necromancy, and the occasional supplement of fresh meat can do to keep me in one piece. I died six years ago, and I've been slowly dying again ever since my resurrection. Not even magic or a mother's love for her children seems to be strong enough to stave off the final end, not for long, anyway." She extended a rotting claw and gently stroked the dragon skull's brow. "Every day, another piece of my soul withers away. No matter how many Pokemon I eat, no matter how much your engagement gift tries to keep me active, sooner or later, I am going to die for real. And much too soon, I fear, for our children's sake." She shook her head unhappily. "They're still so young. They aren't ready to survive outside these castle walls. They've barely managed to survive in them, what with the meager helpings I've been able to give them…and in any event, what kind of caretaker is a rotting zombie? A creature that should have died ages ago? And yet, even that is better than the skeletons of my prey…with their wills suppressed, they're little more than bony, indestructible toys; and with their wills, they would certainly try to rebel and kill the children rather than take care of them. Either way, they're totally unsuitable to raise our children. If it weren't for the fact that, when I die, there will be no one left to look after them, I would have removed this blasted, cherished thing from my chest and joined you in the stars with the Dragon God-King long ago." She turned away. "Though would even that heaven be denied to me, considering all the things I have done to myself to protect our family?" She closed her eye. "Regardless of what happens to me, even if we never meet again, I cannot regret my actions. I did what was necessary for the sake of our children." She snorted. "Then again, I suppose those turtles were trying to do the same thing when they killed me…and I wound up eating them and turning them into my servants, didn't I? Except for the one whose skull I put in a hallway somewhere, the one who killed me. A shame he wouldn't let me take those glasses of his. I wonder if they might have even managed to give you a voice again? Or would that have been far too cruel of me? I wouldn't want to take you from wherever you are, no matter how much I miss you…"

She sighed and leaned against the wall next to the skull, saying nothing for a few minutes. After a time, an idea seemed to come to her. "You know, I just remembered. Mewgle has offered several times to take care of the children if something should happen to me. I am not entirely certain to what extent I can trust him…while he has proven helpful many times in the past, I'm not sure I believe his story about being a harmless nature spirit who was cruelly sealed away by the 'evil' villagers of Turtle town. However…perhaps it's just my brain rotting, but I'm starting to wonder if I should take him up on his offer. Surely he cannot be a worse caretaker than the skeletons, can he?" Ash, Pikachu, and Leo gave each other horrified looks at this bit of information. The dragon smiled and patted her late lover's skull. "It's been nice talking to you, but I really should get out of this habit…it's not exactly good for my mental health. It isn't as if you can talk back to me, like that turtle's skull can. Oh well. Goodbye for now, my love." She pushed herself, with some effort, away from the wall. "Hmm…those adventurers still aren't here yet. I wonder…" She turned towards the opening in the floor.

Pikachu immediately lowered his periscope and glanced down at his friends. "Guys, she's coming! We need to move!"

They quickly ran down the stairs, Ash still carrying Leo so he wouldn't lag behind them or get eaten or something, as overhead the dragon stomped closer to the entrance to her lair. They stopped halfway across the room, behind the big support pillar which took up most of the tower, and tried to stay perfectly still as the Garchomp poked her head into the stairwell. "Hello?" she called into the deep shaft, her fetid breath filling the chamber and causing the heroes to flinch. "Any dragonslayers here? No? Oh well. It's only a matter of time." She pulled her head back up and stomped away. The trio relaxed as she left, and Ash gratefully took Leo off his shoulders.

"Well, that shed a lot of light on our adversary's backstory and motivation," Pikachu commented once they were sure the dragon was gone.

"It sounds like Mewgle's been jerking her around all along!" Leo said angrily. "She must have run into him before coming to our village, after killing whatever jerks murdered her husband and fleeing their lair with her eggs...he probably convinced her that we were bad Pokemon like the ones who'd killed her mate, and she couldn't expect any help from us. It's all _his_ fault that everything in the last six years has happened!"

Ash nodded in agreement. "And he must have somehow recognized the power of the Star Badge and told her how to use it to reanimate herself and raise an army of the dead if anyone should kill her or try to harm her children…and it sounds as if he's been trying to convince her to give _him_ the kids so that she can die for real and he can use them for all sorts of nefarious plans! Like…uh, whatever it is evil gaming demons like to do when they're not cheating players."

"Trolling the Internet, mainly," Leo said. "And whining about how since they changed the rules or makeup of something, now it sucks. Which it doesn't. Well, unless it actually _does_ suck."

"Right," said Ash, who had no idea what Leo was talking about.

"Not that I'm complaining, but doesn't it seem a bit too convenient that we just happened to learn all this before getting into a fight with the dragon?" Pikachu asked doubtfully.

"No," said Leo.

"Should it?" asked Ash.

Pikachu sighed. "Never mind."

"This changes everything," Ash said. "If Mewgle's been using the dragon all this time, probably as some form of revenge against the people who imprisoned him, then the dragon's not evil and we can't kill her!"

"But…even if she's not evil, she still murdered my dad and all those other warriors, and has been killing people for the last six years to keep herself from falling apart, including people from my town!" Leo argued. "If we don't kill her, she's going to _keep_ doing it!"

"Only because she can't let herself die because there's no one to take care of her children when she's gone," Pikachu pointed out. "If we kill her, then her children are as good as done for."

"Can't we take care of them?" Leo asked.

Ash shook his head. "How? We don't know anything about caring for dragons, especially not ones that big, or that many."

"Not to mention you don't want any _more_ kids calling you 'Dad', right Ash?" Pikachu joked. Ash's eye twitched.

"But…then what are we supposed to do?!" Leo demanded. "If we do nothing, she'll keep on stealing food from my village, eating us, and keeping us prisoners!"

"Maybe if we confronted her and everyone back in Turtle Town with the truth she'd just take the food without eating anyone?" Pikachu suggested.

"But if she doesn't eat anyone, her body will fall apart due to her continual state of decay," Leo pointed out. "And she can't take care of her kids or bring them food in that condition! And there's no other source for the flesh she needs to mend herself around except for Turtle Town and the warriors she makes us send to her, so what else can she do? What else can _we_ do?!" He scowled. "And aside from that, it doesn't even sound like she's the _least_ bit sorry that she's eaten the people back in town! Why should she trust or even _listen_ to us, especially since she's been eating us for the last six years and so knows we have every reason to hate her?!" He clenched his fists angrily. "And for that matter, why should we agree to help her?! She's been enslaving us for the last six years! She's eaten our friends and family, and tons of other Pokemon she's forced us to bring to her lair! Even if it is due in part to a misunderstanding and the manipulations of Mewgle, how are we supposed to just let go of our anger and act as if it never happened and we're all chums now, huh?!"

"Leo," Pikachu said. "If we kill the dragon, then those children will lose their only remaining parent. You know what that's like."

"Well, sort of," said Ash. "What with your mom still being alive and your dad not being entirely dead. But, yeah, the principle remains the same, doesn't it?"

Leo's shell sagged. "I know," he said quietly. "That's what makes this so hard." He slumped back against the wall and slid down to sit on the stairs, his face in his hands.

"This isn't what you expected, was it?" Pikachu asked quietly.

"No," Leo's muffled voice replied from behind his hands. He looked up at his friends. "For the last six years, I've thought of almost nothing but killing the dragon who was terrorizing our village and avenging my father's and everyone else's deaths. I always thought of the dragon as a monster and a killer, who preyed on us for its own amusement. Now I learn that it's just a mother doing its best to protect what's left of its family, even if that means hurting or eating the people I care about. If we kill the dragon, its children will die with it, since there will be nobody left to take care of them. Nobody that can be trusted, anyway. Not to mention I'll have the guilt of being a parent-killer on my conscience, and just as bad as the dragon herself."

He looked down at his feet. "But if I let her live, she'll keep on using Turtle Town as a feeding ground, and won't feel the slightest bit of remorse for it. I can't condemn my friends and neighbors to continue going on like that. But…but what else am I supposed to do, huh?!" He clutched his temples, eyes squeezed shut behind his sunglasses to hold back frustrated tears. "Dad…I'm not worthy to wear these shades. I'm sorry."

Ash and Pikachu looked at each other uncertainly as Leo had his breakdown. "So…what do we do?" Ash asked his brother.

Pikachu sighed. "I'm not that sure either. We need that Star Badge, because I'm certain that if we don't take it, the Nihilators will find it eventually…and I doubt they're going to be stopped by a bunch of skeletons or the wrath of a decrepit, decomposing mother Garchomp. But the samurai code states that I can't turn my back on people who are suffering…but that I also cannot raise my blade to harm innocents, which I most certainly would be doing if I helped deprive those dragonets of their mother. It's 'damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don't' situations like this that can haunt a warrior for the rest of his days, since he's essentially being forced to choose the lesser of two evils."

"Which, in this case, would probably be making six baby dragons into orphans and leaving them to fend for themselves," Ash said morbidly, shaking his head unhappily. "Doesn't seem too 'lesser' to me."

"I don't suppose your book has any solution to this?" Pikachu asked Ash.

Ash took out his tome and started flipping through it. "Well, let me see…no…no…ooh, that looks neat, but not what we need…no…oh, here's something! 'When forced to choose between two dark paths, spurn them both, and make your own road. Always strive to walk in the light.'"

Pikachu nodded. "That sounds very deep, but what does it mean?"

"I have no idea," Ash admitted, closing the book.

Leo had taken out his father's skull again, and was looking to it for advice. "Dad, I'm lost. I swore to avenge you, but now I'm not sure I can, or that it's even the right thing to do. What do _you_ think I should do?" The skull didn't say anything, naturally, because it was incapable of speech and Leo had gagged it anyway. However, instead of shaking about and trying to jump off of its son's hand like it usually did, the skull just stared at Leo with its blank, empty sockets for what seemed like an eternity. After a while, Leo nodded slowly. "You're right. Thanks, Dad. You always know exactly what to say." He put the skull back in his shell, rose to his feet, and started up the stairs.

"Hey, where are you going?" an alarmed Ash called after him.

"I'm making my own road," Leo replied.

…

The Garchomp's patience was rewarded when its three latest victims at last entered her lair. "Ah, finally! I've been expecting you for hours. I hope my minions didn't give you too much trouble. Not that it matters, since I'm going to kill you anyway. Shall we begin? I've been spoiling for a good fight for quite some time now."

Ash and Pikachu tensed. Leo did not. "Actually, I was hoping we could talk," the Squirtle said.

The Garchomp blinked. She had not been expecting this. "Talk? Why would I want to…" She narrowed her eye. "Wait a minute. I recognize you. You're from the village, aren't you? Didn't I warn you never to come here unless you wanted your whole town to die like those other turtles who tried to challenge me six years ago? And speaking of which…" Her eye widened. "Those shades! What are you doing with those?!"

"These shades…these were my father's shades," Leo said dramatically, paraphrasing a line from one of his favorite movies. "My name ees Leonardo DeKappa, and you keeled my father! Prepare to die!" He paused. "No, wait, reverse that. Not here to kill you. That came out wrong. Got too deep in character. That happens sometimes." Everyone else sweatdropped.

"Right…so…I killed your father and you _don't_ want revenge?" asked the confused Garchomp. "I think he'd be very displeased in you for being such a coward. Then again, you were foolish enough to leave the safe confines of your home and challenge me in my own dominion, so perhaps you're more an imbecile than a coward."

"My father _did_ want me to avenge him," Leo agreed. "And I did for a while too…but violence doesn't always have to be the solution to everything. I think there's a way that both our problems can be solved."

"You're right, there is," the Garchomp agreed. "I can open my mouth, and you can walk down my throat, and I won't destroy your town."

"Psh, we both know you're not going to do that," Leo snorted. "If we're gone, then how will you feed your kids?"

The Garchomp stiffened. "…How did you know about them?" She snarled. "Or did your head of a father tell you?"

"He did," Leo admitted. "And we also watched and listened to you talking to them just a minute ago."

"…You were eavesdropping on my private time with my children?!" the Garchomp howled with rage.

"Uh, Leo, that might not have been the best thing to point out…" Ash muttered to Leo.

Sickening greenish flames started to form in her mouth. "Give me one good reason I shouldn't incinerate you right now."

"Mewgle's lying to you," Leo said abruptly.

The Garchomp paused. "What?"

"Mewgle. Whatever he's been telling you, it's a lie," Leo explained.

Pikachu nodded in agreement. "You're right to suspect him. He's not a nature spirit at all, but a demon from the Abyss."

"And a cheating one at that," Ash said darkly.

"My ancestors sealed him in that outpost ages ago to keep him from causing any trouble. What'd he tell you? That we locked him up just to be cruel?" Leo asked.

The Garchomp frowned in thought. "That he did, actually…a demon, eh? I knew he was hiding something…" Her eye widened in horror. "Then…his offers to take my children off my hands…"

"Were all a ploy to trick you into giving them to him so that he could use them for…something," Ash said vaguely. "Nothing good, I'm sure."

The Garchomp growled angrily and stomped one desiccated foot on the ground. "That little-!!! And I called him my _friend!_ What else has he lied to me about over the years?!"

"Everything, I'm sure, especially pertaining to what the people of Turtle Town are like," Pikachu said.

"How did you meet him, anyway?" asked Ash.

She grunted. "Well, I don't suppose it's any of your business, but…it all started some six years ago. My mate and I were enjoying a nice meal of roasted bark while warming up the eggs I'd laid recently when some farmers from a nearby town barged into our cave and attacked us with a bunch of ridiculously strong Ice attacks for no reason! We hadn't even attacked them or eaten their crops or cattle, but they were terrified that we would eventually so decided to kill us first, like typical small-minded imbeciles." She shrugged. "Then again, I did wind up killing them all eventually, but I probably wouldn't have if they hadn't attacked us first. Anyway, Drakor and I naturally tried to defend our home. In the battle, several Ice Beams went flying towards our eggs, and Drakor jumped into their path, getting himself killed in the process. That idiot…" She glanced at the skull on the wall sadly for a moment before continuing. "Naturally, I flew into a rage and gruesomely slaughtered the lot of them."

"Naturally," Leo agreed.

The dragon nodded. "However, I got pretty badly wounded in the process, and I could hear another bunch coming after the first to try and finish the job. I gathered up the eggs and the Diamond Star, the present my husband gave me when we formally mated, and skedaddled, promising my mate I'd come back for his body later. And I did, after settling down here, then burning the village the farmers had come from to the ground and eating the lot of them."

The trio blanched. "Was that really necessary?" Pikachu asked.

"They'd dragged my husband's corpse out of our home while I was gone, stuck his head on a pike, ate his flesh, bathed in his blood because they thought it would make them immortal or something stupid like that, and used his bones as building material," the Garchomp replied flatly. "Wouldn't you have done the same thing?"

"…Well, I'm not sure," Pikachu said reluctantly. "Definitely not the eating part, though."

The dragon laughed. "Get angry enough, little one, and you'll be surprised at the things you're capable of doing…anyway, in my condition, I was only able to go so far without dropping an egg. Or dying. I landed a little east of Turtle Town, and was so tired I almost considered asking the people in the village nearby for help. Normally I wouldn't have, seeing as how the last bunch of townies almost _killed_ me, but I was running out of time, and I didn't want my eggs to die with me, so I screwed up my courage and started for town…until a voice from a nearby ruin called out to me."

"Mewgle!" Ash growled.

The Garchomp nodded. "He warned me that the people of Turtle Town were dangerous and unstrustworthy Pokemon who hated and feared anyone different from them on sight, so used were they to hiding inside their shells. He told me that decades ago, he had come to them as a nature spirit, offering aid and blessings for the harvest, but they thought he was a demon of some sort so locked him up in that crumbling old outpost to keep him isolated from the rest of the world."

"Well, that's _half_ right," Leo muttered.

"How could you believe something like that?!" asked a disbelieving Ash.

The Garchomp rolled her eye. "Well, I was sort of in a desperate condition at the moment, and not exactly inclined to trust 'civilized' Pokemon considering that the last bunch had almost destroyed my family. He wasn't very good at healing, but he was able to use some mumbo jumbo spell to at least drag me back from the brink of death. I still wasn't up to hunting, though, and that meant if I couldn't get some food I'd starve, as would my babies, when they hatched, which wasn't far off from that moment. I considered going to eat the turtles nearby, since they were so 'evil' and xenophobic and all, but Mewgle instead convinced me with that silver tongue of his to go along with some cockamamie scheme to extort the villagers and get a constant supply of food for the kids and I. I wasn't exactly in a position to refuse, and the idea sounded good anyway, until I found out they had a bunch of pretty tough warriors in town. Not what I had expected from a bunch of measly turtles."

Leo laughed. "Yeah, we Turtle Towners have got all sorts of hidden power tucked away inside these shells…wait, what do you mean 'measly?'"

"So you just decided to go along with his plan?" asked an appalled Pikachu.

The Garchomp shrugged. "I've never really cared much for creatures smaller than myself, seeing as most of the ones I see try to kill me or run screaming from the sight of me. It's hard to feel compassion and sympathy when they do that. Plus, he said they deserved it, so…" She smirked. "And remember, I was still feeling rather angry at civilization in general for stealing my husband from me."

"True," Pikachu admitted.

"When I expressed my perfectly understandable worries about said brave turtle warriors, Mewgle assured me it wouldn't be a problem after he saw my Diamond Star. He recognized its power somehow—didn't say how he knew of it, though—and taught me some tricks I could use to harness its magic into necromancy and resurrect myself should I fall in battle, so that I could continue protecting my children even in death." She glanced down at her putrefying body in disdain. "This isn't quite what I was expecting, however. Neither was the constant decay. When we _did_ find out about that, Mewgle came up with another plan to not only keep me hale and hearty, so to speak, but also to allow him a bit of fun: arrange for the turtles to send for warriors from all over the land to fight me so that I wouldn't have to eat the townspeople or be forced to range far and wide to find flesh to sustain myself, leaving my kids alone for way too long in the process. Mewgle got to be the 'gatekeeper' of sorts, testing anyone who tried to challenge me, and killing them when they failed to defeat him. He sent me the bodies when he was through with them so that I could have whatever was left…which wasn't much." She grimaced. "That was when I started to have my doubts about his claims of being an innocent nature spirit…but I was too deep in at that point, I needed his help to keep the kids healthy, and to figure out more on how to use the Diamond Star, since I had no idea how to use it on my own." She growled. "I was never certain of his true intentions…but now I know he was using me all along. How _dare_ he! I should go over to his outpost and knock it down on him, see how he likes playing games while he's buried under several tons of rubble!"

"No need to, we already thrashed him pretty thoroughly when we encountered him," Ash said.

Leo smirked. "Yeah, he won't be recovering from _that_ for quite some time!" He frowned. "So he was using you to have some fun and build up an army of the undead that he must have planned to take from you at some point, along with your kids…the only thing I don't understand is why he didn't ask you to free him from the prison we put him in."

"I actually offered to," the Garchomp admitted, somewhat embarrassed. "But he told me that the spells binding him were incredibly complex and beyond my comprehension. He's not trapped in that outpost so much as the land it's standing on, he can't go anywhere outside it unless the spells chaining him are broken or if somebody were to willingly remove him from the premises."

"And he didn't ask you to do that?" Pikachu asked skeptically.

"No, he did," the dragon confirmed. "But when I tried to squeeze my tail or feet through one of the openings in his tower he screamed that the whole thing was going to come down and smash all his stuff, so told me to forget about it."

The heroes sweatdropped. "Talk about a guy too attached to his possessions…" Leo said ironically.

"Now that you know everything you've done in the last six years has all been part of an evil scheme perpetrated by Mewgle, does that mean you'll stop terrorizing Turtle Town and leave its people in peace?" Pikachu asked.

"Mmm…no. Afraid I can't do that," the Garchomp said.

Ash and Pikachu gave her shocked looks, but Leo didn't seem too surprised. "What?! Then you're just going to keep on eating the turtles?!" Ash cried.

The dragon frowned. "No, of course not! Well, not unless I don't have to, anyway. I don't need to eat anymore, but I still need fresh meat occasionally to keep my decaying body together. That's why I originally asked for them to send me warriors to fight and incorporate into myself, to slow down decomposition, rather than just eating them instead," the Garchomp said. "Otherwise I'd be making it harder for them to feed my kids, and that just isn't smart at all, now is it?"

"I don't suppose you're at least going to stop eating those warriors then?" Ash asked, somewhat frustrated.

"What part of 'slow down decomposition' do you not understand?" the Garchomp growled. "If you were really listening, then you would have understood that I need a constant supply of fresh meat to keep from falling apart. I can't exactly take care of my kids if bits of me are sloughing off and disintegrating every minute, now can I?"

"I guess that means you giving us the Diamond Star, which is what we're actually here for, is also out of the question," Pikachu muttered. "Seeing as how it's the only thing keeping you together in the first place."

The Garchomp narrowed her eye at him. "Of course not! Don't be ridiculous! If I gave it to ANYONE (not that I would, seeing as it's not only the only thing keeping me 'alive', but it's my dearest possession and a gift from my late husband), then my kids would starve to death and die! They're too young to take care of themselves yet! I should eat you for making such a ludicrous suggestion, just on principle!" She shrugged. "Of course, I'm going to eat you anyway, but still…"

"Even though we just revealed that you've been manipulated for years?!" Ash asked incredulously.

The Garchomp shrugged. "The information was nice, but doesn't really benefit me or my children in any way. Besides, I gotta eat, it's been much too long since my last meal makeover. I don't usually look _this_ bad, you know."

"What if we could make you a better offer?" Leo asked.

The dragon raised an eyebrow. "What, you're going to find someone else to take your place? Heard that one before. Not very bloody likely."

"Not that kind of offer," Leo said. "We heard you talking to your mate's skull. We know how badly you want to be with him."

The dragon narrowed her eye suspiciously. "Well, he _was_ only the love of my life. It's to be expected. What's your point? You offering to get me there sooner by killing me? No thanks, I have to take care of my kids first. I can't leave this plane until I know they'll do well on their own."

"What if you were able to find someone else who could care for them in your place?" Leo suggested.

The Garchomp glared at him. "First of all, you're assuming that I want to die more than I want to be with my children. Second, you're assuming that I'd actually be willing to trust total strangers who probably know nothing about the care and feeding of dragons with my kids' safety."

"It sounded to me like you wanted to die," Ash spoke up. "When we were listening to you earlier, that is." The dragon started growling.

"Uh, what he means," Pikachu interjected quickly, before things got ugly. "Was that you sounded as if you thought you weren't exactly the best person to take care of your children due to your…*ahem* condition. That you thought someone more, well, alive-"

"Who wasn't rotting," Ash added.

Pikachu stepped on his foot. "Would be more capable of providing for their wellbeing."

The Garchomp paused. "That _is_ true…" she admitted reluctantly. "But that still doesn't solve the problem of who exactly would care for the children if I were to go to my final rest. Mewgle was the only person I was considering, and you've just proven to me that he's completely unsuitable for the job. And if you were rudely spying on me earlier, than you know that I can't trust the skeletons with the job either."

"The skeletons would stay active even if you passed away for good?" Leo interrupted.

"Hmm? Yes, Mewgle taught me how to transfer the control and animation spells to another person, if I needed to," the dragon explained. "While the Diamond Star inside me is providing the power for the reanimation, supplemental spells are needed to actually control the walking dead. Of course, now that I know his true intentions, he probably only taught me those spells so that _he_ could one day usurp control of my servants and unleash an army of the undead upon the countryside."

"That sounds like him," Ash agreed.

"I also thought I heard you say something earlier about being able to suppress the wills of the skeletons? Which implies that there's still something of them in there?" Leo pressed.

The Garchomp frowned. "Yes. Your father was an unusual case; his sunglasses were able to protect him. Well, until you took them off him." She grinned cruelly. "And condemned him to his fate as a mindless, bodiless skull. What a loving son you must be."

Leo ignored that comment. "If you can suppress the wills, that means you can let the skeletons be themselves again?"

"In theory, yes, but if I did so, they would turn against me," the Garchomp pointed out. "And I can't trust them not to do the same thing if I relinquished control over them to my children. As mindless soldiers, they would be useless as caretakers, and with their minds, they would try to kill my sweet babies out of revenge. Doing so would kill them too, of course, but since they're dead already I don't know how much they'll care."

Leo nodded. "That's what I thought. In that case, I think I know who can take care of your kids for you."

The Garchomp gave him a dismissive look. "Who, you three? You wouldn't have the slightest idea what to do with them, let alone how to feed them. They'd probably go hungry and eat you instead."

"That's true," Leo agreed. "But I wasn't talking about us. I was talking about Turtle Town. We've been indirectly caring for your children for the last six years. Why not take out the middleman and do it full-time?"

Everyone stared at Leo in disbelief. "Wouldn't that only make things worse for your people?" a confused Pikachu asked.

"Not to mention there's absolutely no way they'd go for it!" the Garchomp said with a laugh. "I've been preying on them and forcing them to work with me for the last six years. The instant I die, what's to keep them from killing my babies when nobody's looking? They can't be trusted, your friends from six years ago showed they were perfectly willing to destroy harmless unprotected eggs, just like those farmers were willing to kill my husband for no reason." She shook her head. "And even if I _could_ trust them, why on Earth would they _want_ to take on the added responsibility of watching over my children rather than just giving me food for them?"

A grin slowly formed on Leo's face. "Lady, listen closely, because I'm about to make you an offer that I think can solve _everyone's_ problems…"

…

A little later, back at Turtle Town…

"You want me to WHAT?!" the elderly Torterra Mayor of Turtle Town asked incredulously, a sentiment echoed by every other resident of the village, who had fearfully gathered at the edge of town to see why the heroes they had sent out to slay the dragon had returned _with_ the dragon in tow, along with six eager and inquisitive baby dragons and a very large number of walking skeletons.

"Take care of Miss…uh, what was your name again?" Leo asked the Garchomp.

"Tiama," she replied.

"Right, take care of Miss Tiama's children for a few more years until they evolve and can go out into the big wide world to fend for themselves," Leo said.

The Mayor (and all of Leo's friends and neighbors and mom) looked at the Squirtle as if he had sprouted a second head and become some kind of turtley Doduo. "Leonardo DeKappa, have you completely lost your mind?! For the last six years we've been hoping and praying for salvation from our captivity. Now you want us to remain imprisoned for a few more years, catering to not just one dragon, but _six?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"_ the disbelieving Mayor shouted.

"Why should we do anything to help her?! She's been stealing our crops and eating us for the last six years!" cried a Torkoal.

"Yeah, she ate me just last month!" one clearly not-dead Grotle said. Everyone stared at him. "I got better."

"She's kept us locked up in Green Meadow ever since she came here!" yelled a Blastoise.

"She made a deal with an evil demon! She's as bad as Mewgle!" pointed out a Turtwig.

"She killed our husbands, brothers, cousins, and fathers when they dared to defy her!" added a Wartortle.

"Well, they tried to kill me and my eggs. Fair's fair," Tiama snarled in reply, causing the townspeople to yelp and back away in fright.

Pikachu sighed in exasperation. "You do realize that an eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind, don't you?"

"Of course I do," Tiama replied. "Why do you think I only have one eye?" Pikachu facepalmed.

"People, people, please, calm down!" Leo said, getting in front of his friends and the dragon while waving his arms dramatically. "Look. I can explain everything. And when I'm done, I think you will all agree that it would be in our best interest to take these dragonets in, give them a home, and teach them to be something other than the monsters they might be-" Tiama growled warningly. "Er, the monsters they might have _become_ if not for the fine parenting of the giant undead dragon behind me. Yeah."

"Mama, I hungry!" a Gible complained. "Can we eat them?"

"No, dears, they're going to be taking care of you for a while," Tiama replied. "And besides, you aren't ready for canned food yet." This did very little to ease the townspeople's fears.

Leo attempted to work some more of his dubious 'charm.' "Come on, guys, you know me! I'm a DeKappa! I'm wearing the sunglasses!" He said, pointing to the shades he was wearing. "So maybe I know what I'm talking about, okay?"

This actually seemed to win the other turtles over a bit. "Well, he _is_ wearing the magic sunglasses of unbelievably AWESOME," a Turtwig admitted.

"He looks a lot like his father did when he was that age," a Blastoise admitted, causing Leo to beam.

"That's my boy!" Leo's mother cried, shedding streaming tears of joy while steam shot out from her shell and pushed the turtles around her away. Leo flushed in embarrassment.

"Well, I suppose we can hear you out…" the Mayor said reluctantly. "The DeKappas have never led us astray when wearing the shades in other times of crisis."

Pikachu's eye twitched. "You've GOT to be kidding me. They're agreeing to listen to him just because he's wearing some sunglasses?!"

"Unbelievably AWESOME sunglasses," Ash corrected Pikachu, causing the mouse to sweatdrop and put his face in his hands.

"Okay, here's the deal," Leo said, taking the spotlight after pausing for a moment to use his inhaler and keep himself from hyperventilating and passing out from stage fright or sheer excitement at having everyone's attention and (sort of) adoration. "You know how the dragon behind me has been terrorizing us for the last six years, taking our crops, occasionally eating us, and eating all the warriors she's forced us to call here? Yeah, it's all Mewgle's fault." The other turtles gasped at the demon's name.

Tiama nodded. "It's true, it was all his idea, every bit of it."

"But Mama, I thought Uncle Mewgle was-" one of the Gibles piped up.

"Hush, dear, Mama's talking with other grown-ups," Tiama quieted her offspring.

"Mewgle manipulated Tiama into terrorizing our village and becoming a necromantic dragon in hopes that he could one day take her children and skeleton army and do…something with it, I dunno what," Leo said. "But now that we know what's what, we won't let Mewgle get away with something like this again!"

"Yeah!" shouted someone from the crowd, the turtles riled up by Leo's information.

"We should go over to his place and beat him up!" suggested an angry Wartortle.

"YEAH!" everyone yelled.

"No, we should just leave him alone!" Leo said quickly before a mob could form and he lost all control of the situation.

This was not what they wanted to hear. "Why?" asked a skeptical Turtwig.

"It's the worst punishment possible for someone like him. He'll be trapped in his little ruin forever, with nobody coming to visit him ever, and no company other than his little games," Leo explained. "And he won't be able to play them with anyone but himself! Maybe he'll go insane and get a split personality to compensate. That'd be neat!"

This seemed to mollify the other turtles. "That does sound like a good idea, Leo," the Mayor said, impressed.

"I still think we should collapse his house on top of him…" Tiama muttered.

"Me too," Ash agreed.

"Anyway, now that the truth has come to light, Tiama is willing to try and make amends for all the things she's done to us. Right, Tiama?" Leo asked.

The dragon nodded, and gestured with one of her wings. Her skeleton army shifted, and several dozen clearly recognizable turtle skeletons shuffled to the front of the group. The living turtles held their breath in surprise, not sure what to make of this. "For the last six years, I've been occasionally eating you, much like I ate most of your friends and loved ones when they killed me and tried to destroy my eggs," Tiama explained. "And you've hated me for that. I understand. What you _didn't_ know, however, was that due to the necromancy Mewgle taught me and the power of the Diamond Star that animates these old bones, some piece of who they once were still remains in the dead forms before you. Up until this point, I've suppressed that piece so they can make better servants. However, since I won't be needing them after today, I am willing to give your lost fathers and husbands and brothers and sons back to you, along with the rest of my undead army, their wills and personalities completely intact. They will protect you and this village for as long as they are needed. They will be just as they were in life, only, you know, without skin. Other than that, it'll be as if they never left."

This caused quite a lot of amazed whispering and shocked gasps in the group of turtles. "You-you could return our loved ones to us?!" asked the astonished Mayor. "Is such a thing even possible?!"

"Sure, anything's possible with magic!" Leo said confidently.

"Of course, there is a catch," Tiama added, before anyone could get too excited.

"Isn't there always…" the Mayor grumbled.

"I will return your friends and relatives to you, along with the rest of my army, if you will agree to raise and educate my children as if they were your own until they evolve into Gabite and can take care of themselves," Tiama explained. "I want them to receive the care and love I am unable to give them, seeing as how I am a giant walking corpse."

The Mayor considered this for a moment. "…You want us to raise your children? How do we know they will not eat us?"

"Because they never bite the hand that feeds them," Tiama said calmly.

"But Mama, what about that one time when-" one Gible started.

"Shh!" she hushed the child quickly. "Don't bring that up!" Everyone else sweatdropped.

"I…_suppose_ that's a reasonable request-" the Mayor said slowly, after a moment's thought.

"Not so fast," Tiama interrupted. "I do not trust you turtles that much. After all, you tried to kill my babies before they hatched from their eggs. To ensure you'll do your utmost to care for my children and not poison them or kill them in their sleep or something like that, I've added a little incentive to make you think twice before going back on our deal. I've already transferred the control spells on the skeletons from myself to the children, so if anything, and I mean _anything_, should happen to my babies, then your joyful reunion with your lost loves will be cut painfully short, since raised undead have a tendency to die along with their masters. Do I make myself clear?"

The Mayor's face paled, as did everyone else's. "…Yes. Perfectly clear. We will not allow anything to happen to your children."

Tiama nodded, a pleased look on her face. "I thought as much."

"Wait," someone spoke up. "Why can't _you_ take care of your kids? Why do we have to do it?"

"Because after we're done here, I intend to kill myself," Tiama replied plainly.

There was a stunned silence after this proclamation. None of the turtles had expected this. Even the Gible seemed surprised. "Mama?" one whispered in confusion. They had not been told their mother was going to kill herself, just that she was going to leave them with some 'friends' for a little while. This was more than an unpleasant shock.

"You'll…kill yourself? Just like that?" asked a confused Mayor. "But…why?"

She smiled sadly. "I died six years ago. Everything since then has just been a painful, drawn-out extension of that day, as I die a little more inside the longer time passes. I am not fit to take care of my children, no matter how much I wish I were. I would truly love to stay with them forever, even if it would ultimately be to both our detriments. But if I know that my children will be looked after well, then I can pass on with no regrets."

"No, Mama!" a Gible cried in protest.

"No! No! No!" the others squealed in dismay. They crowded around her in protest.

"Please don't go, Mama!" one begged her.

"We don't want you to go!" another cried.

"Who'll be our Mama if you're not?" yet another whimpered.

"We don't want you to go!" they wailed in unison.

Tiama bent over with some creaks in her bones and a few snaps as several ligaments broke, gently enveloping her children in her great, tattered wings. "Shh, children. Don't cry. You always knew that this day would come eventually, it's just a little sooner than we had hoped. It was inevitable. Don't think of it as a farewell so much as 'we shall meet again.' My spirit shall watch over you always from the stars, alongside your father."

"Mama…" the Gibles wept, pressing against her decaying chest as little salty tears ran down their cheeks.

The hope and energy that had been building in the villagers ever since they had learned they could get their loved ones back faded away. The Mayor fidgeted uncertainly, not sure that he wanted the town's lost residents back at such a high cost. "I…I'm not certain this is such…I mean…perhaps there's another way…" he waffled.

Tiama glanced up from her children, shaking her great, ugly head. "I'm afraid there isn't. The only way I could take care of my children would be to continue as I have for the last six years, eating anyone who comes my way. Otherwise, my body would deteriorate to the point that I couldn't protect my babies. If I moved somewhere else, I would be forced to start the last six years all over again with another group of hapless Pokemon like yourselves; there's no way I can keep going without preying on the flesh of others. And there's always a chance that whoever lives wherever we move to is more capable of fending me off than you all were, putting my children at much greater risk. This is the only way I can truly ensure their safety." She looked down at her despondent children sadly. "I do not fear my own death, for I am already dead…I just want to know that they'll be happy and safe with whoever I leave them with. Can I rely on you to care for my children, since very shortly I will be unable to?"

"I…" the Mayor hesitated. "I don't know if…if I can make a decision like this very lightly." He slowly turned around and looked to his constituents. "What say you, people of Turtle Town? Shall we raise this dragon's children and take back our loved ones, at the price of Tiama's life?"

There were some uncertain mumbles from the crowd. They had, like Leo, hated the Garchomp for the last six years. They weren't sure how to deal with this other, rather _sympathetic_ side of her. "Yes," someone said finally. To Leo's surprise, it was his own mother. She was looking straight at Tiama, and it seemed as if a moment of understanding passed between them, something from one mother to another. "Yes, we will take care of your children." One by one, emboldened by Mrs. DeKappa's example, the other turtles slowly nodded and added their consent.

The Mayor sighed. "Then I suppose it is a deal," he told Tiama.

She nodded gravely. "Thank you. All of you." She turned to the trio of heroes. "And now, I suppose, we must depart. I do not wish my children to see my death. That is one trauma I do not wish them to bear."

"Why are you taking us with you?" Ash asked.

"So that someone may witness my last moments. And besides, you need this star thing, don't you?" the Garchomp pointed out.

"I guess so," said Pikachu.

"Aren't you going to say goodbye to your kids?" Leo asked uneasily.

Tiama glanced at her children, who looked at her with wet, pleading eyes. "I have said all that needs to be said," she replied quietly, turning her back on the Gibles. "You're the ones who talked me into doing this, so let's get this over with. Come on." She swung her tail around, and reluctantly the trio clambered aboard, finding plenty of easy foot- and handholds in her sagging flesh and peeling scales.

"Mama, wait!" one of the Gible cried desperately.

"The skeletons shall regain their minds once I depart," Tiama informed the townspeople, ignoring her children. "Remember to treasure this gift I have given you, and do not renege on your bargain…or you will most sorely regret it."

The Mayor nodded solemnly. "We will not. Turtles do not go back on their promises."

Tiama nodded back. "Very good." She spread her tattered wings.

The Gible clambered into her path. "Mama, please, don't go!" one cried.

"We don't want you to leave us!" another wailed.

"You're our only Mama! We don't want another one!" said a third.

"I must go, my dears," she said apologetically. "Like turtles, dragons do not tend to go back on their word. Be good dragonets and try to remember that, and don't eat your new caretakers or ruin their homes too much, I would be most disappointed in you if you did."

"Mama-" they protested.

"Goodbye, my loves," she interrupted, crouching low to the ground before leaping into the air (And breaking her legs in the process. They mended themselves rather quickly, though, thanks to the necromancy running through her.), the wind catching in her wings and blowing her away towards her distant castle…though she should have fallen down almost immediately due to the laws of gravity. And atrophy. Technically, she shouldn't have been able to fly at all, but that's magic for you.

"MAMA!" the Gible shouted. "MAMA! MAMA! MAMA!"

She did not turn back or show any indication that she had heard them. If she had, she might have been tempted to break her promise after all. The turtles looked at each other uneasily, unsure what to do…or how to deal with the rather strong sense of guilt they all suddenly felt.

Before any action could be taken to comfort the dragonets, however, a noticeable change was suddenly noticed about the skeletons. Rather than standing still like sentinels, they now seemed…confused, looking at each other in bewilderment, taking in their surroundings, distressed, dismayed, perplexed…as if they had no idea where they were, or how they had gotten there. Quite a few appeared more than alarmed when they looked at themselves and found they were walking piles of bone.

The turtle skeletons were the first to take hold of their senses, but when they stared at their living relatives they stiffened, paralyzed with surprise and uncertainty. The fleshy people of Turtle Town were just as immobilized, so that they seemed little more animated than the dead themselves, indecision and confusion flickering across their faces. They had dreamt of seeing their lost loved ones for six years, but now that they were here, in the flesh (well, not exactly), nobody seemed sure what to do. The skeletons, having regained their wits for the first time in six years, were equally uncertain. Should one of them make the first move? How were they supposed to react to this? There wasn't really any protocol on reestablishing contact between the living and the not-quite-dead, not in _this_ town, anyway.

The Mayor, feeling pressured from several dozen anxious gazes, coughed, reluctantly about to take responsibility for breaking the awkward silence…

When suddenly a very small Turtwig, eyes wide with wonder, took a tentative step forward. "Grampa?" he whispered timidly.

A rather large Torterra skeleton with a scraggly dead stump growing from his back smiled and nodded. The youngling gasped and abruptly rushed across the grass towards his long-lost grandfather, embracing him while weeping with joy.

This heartwarming scene was the catalyst that drained all the tension from everyone present as the turtles, both living and dead, ran towards each other, meeting in hugs and tackle/glomps and headbutts, laughing and weeping and some even _singing_ ecstatically. The Mayor sighed in relief, and shed some tears of his own as he was reunited with his son, who had been one of the fighters to challenge the dragon six years ago and was eaten like all the others. Leo's mother anxiously searched the crowd of skeletons for any sign of her husband, unaware that her son still had his skull on his person. The skeletons of the mercenaries and heroes and other warriors who had come through town over the years and valiantly tried and failed to slay the dragon gave each other confused looks, not sure what was going on or what they were supposed to do now.

Everyone was so focused on celebrating this miraculous reunion that nobody spared a thought for the six enormous Gible crying for their mother, without whose sacrifice none of this would have been possible.

…

"You realize, of course, that I hate you all for making me have to leave my kids and see them cry," Tiama commented as they landed outside her castle. "And that if this were not the only viable option I could see for my children's future, I would have eaten you all just for suggesting it."

"We know," Pikachu said softly.

"And we appreciate everything you're giving up for them," Ash said.

The dragon snorted. "Yeah," she said bitterly. "I bet you are." Without further preamble, she reached into her chest and ripped out the small glowing thing that was keeping her alive, causing juices and organ bits to spray everywhere. The trio flinched. "Here," she said bluntly, handing it to Leo. It was a large five-pointed star made out of glittering diamond (or what looked like diamond) and was about the size of his new Rescue Team badge. "This is what you wanted, right? Keep it safe." Her skin started to turn gray as the process of decay sped up. "Take care of my kids," she said, as her body began to crumble. "If anything should happen to them, I'll come back to haunt you or something." Abruptly, she exploded into a great cloud of dust, which was blown away by the wind. Leo breathed in some of it by accident, and got into a coughing fit that forced him to suck on his inhaler for a few minutes.

"Well," Pikachu said after a moment. He tried to say something else, but couldn't.

"I guess she wasn't so bad after all…" Ash said quietly. "I mean, other than the remorselessly eating people thing."

"Yeah," Pikachu agreed.

"I should probably be feeling happy about this," Leo said once he had caught his breath. "For the last six years, I've dreamt of this moment, when I'd rid the Earth of the evil dragon who killed my father and all those other people. Instead, all I feel is horrible, since to do it I had to break the hearts of six sort of-innocent children and watch them cry as I took their mother from them forever." He laughed bitterly. "So, this is what it feels like to be a hero…"

"Not what you expected?" Pikachu asked quietly.

Leo shook his head. "No. It never is, is it?" He paused, feeling something moving inside his shell. "Huh?" He retracted his free hand for a moment, and came back out with his father's skull, who had managed to work off his gag while trapped inside his son's shell. "Dad?!"

"Leo!" the skull cried, capable of intelligent speech again. "You did it, my boy! You defeated the dragon and saved us all!"

Leo gasped. "Dad! You're you again!"

Pikachu facepalmed. "Oh, not again…"

Ash snapped his fingers. "Of course! Tiama said she was going to restore the wills of all her minions. That must have included your father, too! Now that she's gone, he's himself again, without the protection of your family's magic sunglasses!"

"Whoa, cool!" Leo exclaimed.

Leo's father nodded. "That's right, son, I snapped back to normal at the same time as everyone else. I could hear everything that was going on from inside your shell, though it was rather cramped and dark. I must say, I'm very impressed by how brave you were, and how you managed to solve everyone's problems. Any warrior can kill a monster, but it takes a real man to find a nonviolent solution! I'm proud of you, my boy!"

Leo practically beamed, hugging his father's skull. "Awww, thanks, Dad!" He sobered, pulling the skull away from him. "But I don't deserve your praise. To save our town and you, I had to talk a loving mother into killing herself and depriving her children of their only remaining parent. Coming from an almost-single parent household, I know how painful that is. But unlike me, and everyone else back home, Tiama's kids aren't going to ever get their mother back."

"If Tiama had not been willing to die to protect her children, she would not have agreed to sacrifice herself to give them a better chance at life," Leo's father said solemnly. "She certainly proved herself to be a more complex individual than I had ever imagined, in all my years as her prisoner. I now regret killing her six years ago, and trying to destroy her eggs. In my own way, I suppose I was little better than the folks who killed her mate."

"Oh, Dad, you're nothing like them!" Leo protested.

The skull smirked. "I'll believe that if you accept that you have managed to do a heroic thing today, no matter what the cost or the guilt you feel for doing it."

Leo chuckled. "Heh, whatever you say, Dad." His sunglasses flashed abruptly, startling all of them. "Huh? What just happened?"

"By completing your first true heroic act and learning some sort of deep life lesson from it, you have unlocked the first hidden ability of your sunglasses!" Leo's father pronounced triumphantly. "You now have the 'Pokedex' power. All you have to do is look at another Pokemon and you will instantly know their stats, movesets, weaknesses, and power levels!"

"Ooh, really?" asked an impressed Leo. "That's so cool! Just like a Scouter from DBABC…but awesomer! I've gotta try this out!" He stared at Pikachu, who fidgeted uncomfortably in response. "Pikachu: The Mouse Pokemon. Electric-type. One of the most popular Pokemon (and devilishly cute, too!), Pikachu store electricity in the pouches on its cheeks and can cause lightning storms when several gather in one place. This specimen is 1'04", weighs 13.2 lbs, and is approximately level 50. Its favored attacks are Volt Tackle, Cut, Vacuum Cut, Thunderbolt, Iron Tail, and Quick Attack. It has a very Serious temperament, and is inordinately fond of swords, honor, and pretty much anything related to samurais. He is also somewhat partial to ketchup," Leo droned in a robotic tone. He blinked when he had finished his recital. "Whoa, that was cool! I knew all of that just by looking at him, almost like I was reading his mind or something!"

"Well done, son!" Leo's father said approvingly.

Pikachu sweatdropped. "Hoo boy. This cannot end well."

"Fits you to a tee, bro," Ash said to his uneasy sibling. "Do me next! Do me next!"

"Okay," Leo said, turning to look at Ash.

"Ah, I think we should probably put our time to better use by using that Diamond Star Badge there to try and find out where the next Star is located on our map," Pikachu interrupted, before any more silliness could commence.

"Awww," Ash and Leo's father whined.

Leo sighed. "Yeah, all right. I guess you have a point."

"Let me just get the map out," Ash said, pulling the magical case out of his knapsack, opening it, and withdrawing the rolled-up parchment within.

"This is so cool," Leo said, handing the glittering white jewel to Pikachu. "My very first magical treasure map! I've never seen one of those in real life."

"Neither have I," Leo's father admitted as Ash unrolled the parchment. "It looks like a map of Sinnorre, though. With a couple of glowing spots…interesting."

"You can see it?" asked the surprised Pikachu. "No, wait, of course you can. Great hero like you has a pure heart, right?"

"Naturally," Leo's father agreed.

Leo's shell sagged. "Awww, it looks kind of blurry to me…guess that says a lot about my personal character. I suppose I probably shouldn't be so cruel to the characters in my RTS, civilization, and 'simulation' games…but it's just so much fun to make their lives miserable and laugh cruelly as they live and die at my tyrannical whimsy!" Everyone stared at him. Leo laughed nervously. "Though it could also be the rather risqué fanart I look up…and occasionally make in my spare time…very naughty stuff…"

Leo's father sighed. "You've changed since the last time I saw you, Leo…then again, it has been six years. It is only understandable that you would have matured since then. I just, er, did not expect these sorts of changes…"

Leo frowned. "Hey, whuzzat supposed to mean?"

"Let's just get this over with," Pikachu said in exasperation. Ash crouched down to hold the map in front of his brother, who pointed the Diamond Star at it, not sure what exactly he was supposed to do with it. To their amazement, the badge began to glow with a dazzling, sparkling light that almost seemed divine in nature. As the other three gasped in wonder, Ash frowned, feeling rather dizzy all of a sudden.

A beam of light lanced out from the badge, striking a point on the map and causing a shining spot to appear over it. The star's glow dimmed down to nothing moments later, but the spot remained. Pikachu, Leo, and Leo's father eagerly leaned closer to examine the location of the next Star Badge. "What is it? I can't tell…some kind of tower?" Leo asked, squinting to try and make out the image on the map.

"No, it's some sort of tree," Pikachu corrected him. "A tree made of…stone?"

"Aha, I know what that is!" Leo's father declared. "That can be none other than the legendary Tree of Beginning, in the Mystifying Forest to the north-northwest!"

"Tree of Beginning?" asked the puzzled Pikachu.

"Ooh, I've heard of that place!" Leo exclaimed. "It's supposed to be a giant rock formation shaped like a tree, that feeds off sunlight and harbors all sorts of cool Pokemon inside of it! They say it's almost as old as the Earth itself, with crystal roots running right down to the center of the planet. There's also some rumors of it being a summer palace for Mew whenever She feels in a fancy to visit our world."

"Hmm…sounds like a good place to hide a magical object that could destroy the world to me," Pikachu said. "Looks like we know where to go next, right, Ash? Er…Ash?"

The Lucario groaned. His eyes rolled back in his head, and abruptly, he fell to the ground. "Ash?! ASH!" Pikachu cried, rushing over to his brother's head.

Ash did not respond. He had passed out.

…

"Piiii…"

_Please…don't die…_

"Kaaaaa…."

_I'm so sorry…_

"CHUUU!"

Ash shot up with a yell as several hundred volts of electricity coursed through his body. "WAAAAAAAUUUUUUGH!" When the current cut off, and he had managed to catch his breath, he glared angrily at the annoyed-looking yellow mouse standing on the nightstand right next to his bed. "What'd you do that for?!" he shouted.

The Pikachu—_lying broken on the ground, its fur burnt off and face ripped off to reveal a skull twisted in a grotesque mask of DEATH--_pointed at a clock on the wall. "Pika pika pi Pikapi Pikachu!"

Ash started. "What?! It's that late already?! But-but I set the alarm to wake me-" Pikachu pointed at a pile of broken scrap on the floor. "…Oh. I've gotta stop doing that." Pikachu rolled his eyes as if to say, 'Duh.' Ash sighed. "Oh well, there's still plenty of time…they haven't finished breakfast, have they?" Pikachu shook his head. "Great, just give me a minute to shower and get dressed and I'll be right there." Pikachu gave him a surprised look. Ash sighed in exasperation. "Yes, I'm actually going to shower, it's not that big a deal—don't give me that look, it's not! I wash lots of times!" Pikachu gave him a skeptical look. "Oh, you know full well I do! Just…ugh, just go bum some food off of Brock or something. I'll be out in a minute." Still looking doubtful, Pikachu trotted out of the hotel room.

Grumbling, Ash dragged himself out of bed and threw open the curtain, flinching at how bright the sun was compared to the dark suite. As his eyes adjusted to the sunlight, he looked out upon the magnificent vista that was the megalopolis of Poketropolis; miles and miles of skyscrapers and parks and artificial habitats—_blackened desolated plains stretching as far as the eye could see, the destruction so complete that no bones or ruins or even a blade of grass were left behind, smoke rising to the roiling clouds of darkness covering the grim and lifeless skies above--_designed to be the perfect home for humans and Pokemon from all over the world. Looming over all the towering buildings was an absolutely immense dome, possibly the biggest man-made structure in the entire world; at least ten kilometers tall and twenty wide, a gargantuan coliseum dedicated to providing the ultimate Pokemon battling experience, with thousands of arenas of all shapes and sizes, VR scenarios with millions of possible programs and scenarios, and an ENORMOUS battlefield in the center with a retractable roof and seating for billions.

This was the Supreme Stadium, where in a matter of hours the finals of the World Pokemon Championships would be hosted. This was the place where, in a matter of hours, Ash would fulfill his destiny and become a Pokemon Master. Well, that's what he hoped would happen, anyway.

One quick shower and throwing on some clothes later, Ash left his bedroom to join the others in the living room of the suite they had been given to stay in during the duration of the World Pokemon Championships. The tall dark-skinned (and eyeless) Brock glanced away from the pancakes he was flipping over the suite's kitchen stove as Ash entered the room. He smiled—_screaming and clutching his empty sockets as tears of blood streamed down his face—_and ruffled Ash's eternally messy hair as he came over. "Ah, the hero has awakened! I was wondering when you'd get here."

"Less talking, more eating," Ash said hungrily, trying to snatch one of Brock's pancakes out of the air to devour it with his bare hands.

Ash's best-friend-turned-rival-turned-not-quite-best-but-still-good-friend-again Gary rolled his eyes from where he was sitting on a very nice couch, boredly flipping through the five thousand channels on their ultra-huge plasma screen TV while absent-mindedly petting his Umbreon. "Typical Ash…you never did grow out of that appetite, did you?"

"You never grew out of that DBABC hair," Ash retorted, waiting impatiently for Brock to finish flipping the pancakes and feed him already.

"The ladies like the 'do," Gary said, touching his spiky brown hair—_face twisted in a frozen visage of utter despair, his mutilated and tortured form lying smoldering in a crater--_defensively.

"Then why'd your cheerleaders dump you?" Ash asked.

"They didn't dump me, _I_ dumped them," Gary said with a smirk.

"By the way, you wouldn't happen to still have any of their phone numbers, would you?" Brock asked hopefully. Gary shook his head. Brock's shoulders slumped. "Awww…"

"Brock, will you give me something to eat before I drop dead from hunger already?!" Ash demanded.

"Fine, fine…" Brock grumbled, flipping some pancakes onto Ash's waiting plate. The young trainer eagerly dug in. Pikachu, who was sitting on the counter, shook his head at his friend's unrefined eating habits and continued drowning his Pokemon food in ketchup. Lots and lots of ketchup.

After not so much eating his breakfast as inhaling it, Ash plopped down on the couch next to Gary. Umbreon hissed at him, but he ignored her. "So, anything good on?"

"No," Gary replied.

"Cool," said Ash. They channel surfed in bliss. Brock and Pikachu rolled their eyes (well, Pikachu did). "Hey, wait, go back a bit, I thought I saw something…"

"Huh? Okay." Gary flipped back a few channels, and suddenly the big screen was filled by the image of the surprisingly somber-looking reporter Rhonda Krempa, dressed all in black and standing on a hill with an absolutely MASSIVE smoking black crater visible in the background, rescue teams and police scrambling all over the place like flies on a piece of rotten fruit.

Brock's eye slits instantly turned into hearts. "It's Rhonda! Oh, be still my beating heart!" He rushed over to the television to get a better look at her. The others all rolled their eyes. "Turn up the volume! I can't hear what she's saying!"

Gary complied. "-reporting to you live from outside Veilstone City…or rather, what's _left_ of Veilstone City," Rhonda was saying as Gary turned up the sound. "As you can see, the entire city has been completely destroyed. Nothing has been spared in this absolute devastation. Rescue teams are frantically searching for any survivors, but so far prospects look grim. The shadowy terrorist organization 'Annihilation' has claimed responsibility for this disaster, which would make this the third city, following the Viridian and Lilycove City holocausts, that they have specifically targeted this month, not counting the dozens of hospitals, Pokemon Centers, schools, museums, ruins, gyms, corporate headquarters, stadiums, and research facilities they've destroyed since their inception. That brings the total number of deaths they are allegedly responsible for to at least seven or eight million in the last year, not counting all the murders they've committed that they have not claimed responsibility for or have so far gone undiscovered by the authorities. "

Everyone was stunned by this. Even Pikachu stopped squirting ketchup onto his meal, which suddenly looked all too much like blood to him. Revolted, he pushed the bowl away. Brock groaned. "Not again…"

"Dammit!" Ash shouted angrily, pounding a fist on the coffee table in front of the couch. "I can't believe they're getting away with this! Who _are_ these guys, anyway?!"

Gary shook his head, a subdued look on his face. "All those people and Pokemon…just…just gone…" He clutched Umbreon to his chest a little too tightly, causing her to hiss angrily, but he didn't notice. "How are they doing this? What kind of weapon or power do they possess that can cause such unbridled destruction?" He trembled. "How long until…" He clammed up. Ash and Brock glanced at him sympathetically, the former's anger draining away into fear and dread. Professor Oak's lab had yet to be attacked, but at this rate it was only a matter of time, right? And if they had destroyed the neighboring Viridian City, who could say Annihilation might not destroy all of Pallet Town too once they were done with the Professor?

"We should do something about this!" Ash said firmly, regaining his steel and getting to his feet. "We can't just let these guys get away with this!"

"What do you think you can do about it, Ash?" Gary snapped.

"I've taken down three major criminal organizations and thwarted a few others since I was ten," Ash pointed out. "Who's to say I can't take down these guys, too?"

"Because these guys aren't like any enemy you've ever met, Ash!" Gary said, getting to his feet as well. "They don't run around in colorful costumes and mechas and bad haircuts, reciting stupid mottos and making their plans clear and ridiculously easy to foil! Nobody even knows what these Annihilation guys look like, who they are, how they operate, or any of that other stuff! By the time you know they're there, it's too late, and all you've got is their leftovers to know that they even exist and aren't just some ghost story criminals tell each other to scare one another. If you go up against these guys, I can pretty much guarantee you'll die, Ketchum."

Ash's blood boiled. "What, you don't think I can handle it, Gary?!"

"No, I don't!" Gary retaliated. "And for another thing-"

"Will both of you cut it out?" Brock interrupted angrily. "I can't hear what Rhonda's saying! She's talking to Officer Jenny now!"

Ash and Gary looked back to the screen as Rhonda started interviewing a pretty woman with spiky blue hair and a formal uniform with gold epaulets on her shoulders. Brock was mistaken, this wasn't Officer Jenny, but someone much more powerful. "Joining us now is Jenny Prime, chief of the Interregional Police Force," Rhonda said, offering a microphone to the present matriarch of the Jenny clan. "Chief, what is your take on Annihilation? What sort of technology or Pokemon power are they using to engineer the sheer destruction they've managed to make their hallmark wherever they go? How close are the authorities to finding where this organization is hiding and putting a stop to them once and for all?"

"I'm afraid there's only so much that I can reveal on the air…most of our investigation is confidential, so as to protect our operatives," Jenny Prime responded. "However, despite their startlingly high success rate, Annihilation is still little more than a bunch of sneaks who are using the element of fear and mystery to make themselves seem more dangerous than they actually are. We're following up on several leads that might allow us to crack down on these punks and put them behind bars where they belong."

"She's lying," Gary said abruptly.

"Huh?" said a confused Ash.

"Officer Jenny never lies!" Brock yelled angrily.

"She's lying so the public won't be scared. The police have absolutely no idea what they're doing or how to fight Annihilation," Gary said. "They can't admit that, though, or else everyone would panic, which Annihilation would use to their advantage."

Ash frowned. "How do you know that?"

Gary shrugged. "Grampa told me."

"Oh, okay," Ash said, acquiescing.

"Jenny would never-" Brock started to proclaim, until his Croagunk hit him with a Poison Jab in the leg, causing him to fall to the ground, paralyzed. "-Lie down on the job…like I am…" Brock groaned as the blue frog dragged him away.

Ash and Gary blinked. "Do you ever wonder what that Croagunk does to him while he's like that?" Gary asked finally.

"I'm really happier not knowing," Ash admitted. Gary grunted in grudging agreement.

"Chief, is it true that the enigmatic leader of Annihilation, Lord Null, has recently issued another threat to the governments of the free world?" Rhonda continued.

Jenny Prime looked startled for a moment. "How did you…er, yes, Lord Null recently issued another one of his trademark ominous threats. Nothing to worry about, just another warning that very soon, he'll destroy the entire planet or something crazy like that."

Rhonda frowned, a concerned look on her face. "Should we be worried about that?"

Jenny Prime shook her head. "We have no reason to believe so. While Annihilation has demonstrated so far that they're capable of wiping out an entire city in mere seconds, there's no proof as yet to indicate that they can do the same thing on a wider scale."

"All right. I've also heard that the Global League still intends to host the World Pokemon Championship Finals later today despite the current escalation of Annihilation activity and the destruction of Veilstone City. Don't you think that an event this big would be a prime target for a terrorist group like Annihilation?" Rhonda asked.

"You'd think so, wouldn't you?" Jenny groused. "And yet they're going ahead with it anyway…er, I mean that it's nothing to worry about. For an event this big, no expense is too much to ensure the safety of the Supreme Stadium and the people fighting and spectating inside it today. There are police at every entrance, hundreds of plainclothes officers placed inside, bomb and metal detectors all over the place, and plenty of other security measures I can't tell you about because then you'd start worrying we were bugging your phone calls, reading all your emails, and invading your privacy countless times throughout the day without you even knowing it."

There was an awkward pause. "Er, but you're not, right?" Rhonda asked slowly.

"Huh? Oh!" Jenny Prime sweatdropped. "No, no, of course we're not…I was just saying…yeah…but seriously, there's nothing to worry about. Today's finals will be as safe—_mushroom clouds rising miles into the sky, fire sweeping across the earth and consuming all that run screaming from it—_as safe can be!"

"Well, that's certainly good to hear," Rhonda said, not looking as if she believed it. "Thank you for taking the time to speak to us, Jenny Prime, and good luck catching Annihilation." She addressed the camera now. "To any of our viewers, if you know or suspect anything which might be vital to taking down Annihilation, do not hesitate to report it to the authorities immediately."

Jenny Prime nodded in agreement. "We need as much help as we can get to take down this threat. We've never dealt with anything like this before."

"Didn't you just say you had a few leads?" Rhonda asked.

Jenny Prime glanced around nervously. "Uh, yes. Yes I did. But the more help, the merrier, right?"

Rhonda nodded. "I suppose so." She turned back to the camera again. "This has been Rhonda Krempa, of _Sinnoh Now._ We'll return with news of the preparations for today's World Pokemon Championship Finals right after these messages-" Abruptly, a boom microphone fell from offscreen and hit her on the head. "OW! Sonuva…JACK, HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU TO-"

She was cut off by a test pattern showing a giant Rotom wreaking havoc on a power plant above the words 'Technical Difficulties.' Gary sweatdropped and turned the television off. "Well, that was weird."

"Pika pika," Pikachu agreed.

"Yeah…" Ash agreed. "But on the plus side, now I know that I can have my battle today without worrying about being blown up by terrorists!" Pikachu and Gary gave him incredulous looks. "What?"

"Ash, she was only saying that because she's being paid and pressured by the government to," Gary told him. "The League and all the big-name corporations have invested a ridiculous amount of money into this year's tournament. If they cancelled the finals for any reason, even if it were for a legitimate terrorist threat, they'd lose billions!"

It took several moments for this to sink in. Ash had never been the fastest of thinkers. "…Wait, then you're saying that they're willing to risk millions of lives just so they won't lose some money?! That's ridiculous! You're making that up!"

"Welcome to global economics, Ash," Gary said, crossing his arms and choking Umbreon, who he was still holding close to his chest. "The Leagues, like any big organization, only care about the bottom line. Individual trainers or even lives don't mean that much to them so long as they can profit from it somehow. What do you expect from a government that encourages people as young as ten to go out into the big wide world on their own, capture wild animals, and pit them against each other for fun and sport?"

"…That's disgusting," said a sickened Ash.

Gary nodded sagely. "Why do you think I dropped out of the training circuit?"

"I thought that was because you wanted to become a researcher like your grandfather," professed the confused Ash.

"Yeah," Gary said, releasing Umbreon from his chest and absent-mindedly stroking her head while she tried to catch her breath. "That, too."

"…So…should I call this off, then?" Gary and Pikachu gave Ash astonished looks, stunned that he'd actually _say_ something like that. It was so out of character! Ash flushed and continued. "I mean, you know, if it…isn't safe or something…"

Gary shrugged. "Well, it's up to you, Ash. Do you still want to compete in the finals?"

"…Yes," Ash said after a moment's thought. "I've come too far to give up now. I can't back down. And besides, if I quit, Paul will become World Champ!"

Gary rolled his eyes, while Pikachu sighed in exasperation. "Glad you have your priorities straight."

"What? I can't let Paul win!" Ash said indignantly. "He'll inspire other people to start treating their Pokemon like tools…like that misguided Barry guy! Man, what was he thinking, idolizing Paul…"

Gary shrugged. "Then I guess we're going."

"Good," Ash said, wondering why he suddenly was starting to feel uncertain about the whole thing.

There was a knock on the door. "That'll be the girls," Gary surmised.

"Why didn't they want to stay in the same room with us again?" Ash asked.

Gary sighed and shook his head. "You still have a lot to learn about women, Ash." Pikachu laughed at that.

Fuming, and wondering what Gary meant by that, Ash walked over to the front door and opened it. His coordinator friends May and Dawn were standing on the other side. "Hey girls!" he said. "Good morning!"

"Hey Ash!" May said, a warm smile—_flesh melting off her skull as she clawed at her face with bony, clawed fingers, screaming, screaming, screaming_—on her face. "About time you got up!"

Dawn nodded in agreement, her long blue hair—_burning like a Roman candle, her skull alit with flames like the rest of her writhing, shrieking body—_bobbing behind her. "Yeah, we have a HUGE surprise for you!"

Ash blinked in puzzlement. "Huh? What do you mean?"

Their grins grew from ear to ear. "Guess who just showed up this morning!"

They moved aside, revealing…

_He clutched her dead body to his chest, sobbing, refusing to believe her life had been snuffed out as easily as a candle even as her blood soaked into his clothes and stained his hands and face._

Ash's heart stopped. His eyes widened. "Misty?"

_Please…don't die…_

The newcomer smiled broadly, her pearly white teeth and brilliant blue eyes sparkling with joy. "Hi, Ash. Long time no see, huh?"

_I'm so sorry…_

…

"Pi…ka…chuuuuuu!"

"AAAAUUUGH!" Ash shot up, gasping for breath as several hundred volts of electricity coursed through his body. "What'd you do that for?!" he demanded of Pikach, who was sitting beside him with a concerned look on his face. He paused. "Whoa, déjà vu…"

"You passed out after the Star Badge did its thing," the anxious Pikachu said.

"Are you okay?" Leo asked worriedly.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I just…" Ash grimaced and rubbed his head. "I had either the strangest dream, or…a flashback…"

Pikachu's ears perked up. "A flashback? You remember some more of your past?"

"Whoa, wait, hold up!" Leo interrupted. "You're amnesiac?! You never mentioned that!"

Ash laughed nervously. "It, uh, didn't seem prudent at the time."

They quickly filled Leo and his father in on Ash's origins, or lack of. "Hmm…a human, huh?" Leo's father said. "I've never met one of those before…fascinating!"

"Wow, this is so cool!" Leo gushed. "A Jedi Knight—er, I mean Aura Guardian—with a mysterious and forgotten past who's actually a human from another world that's been transformed into a Lucario! Dude, this sort of thing never happens outside of video games or transformation fanfics!"

"Uh, right," Ash said, sweatdropping.

Pikachu frowned. "But what triggered this flashback now?"

"It must have been the Star Badge," Leo said. "There's tons of precedent for mystical Macguffins restoring the memories of amnesiac protagonists. Like in Shadow the Sandslash, the so-so spinoff of the Sonic the Sandslash series, where Shadow, an antihero Sandslash with a mysterious past, is tricked by the alien overlord Black Death to gather the seven Order Sapphires to get his memories back!" They all stared at him. Leo sweatdropped. "Uh, right, I'll shut up now."

"What did you see in your memories?" Leo's father asked Ash.

Ash hesitated. "Well…" Reluctantly, he told them about his somewhat disturbing vision. They blanched upon hearing all the gory details.

"So you knew not only someone like myself, but someone like Gary, in that other world?" Pikachu mused. "Just like Father Yamiri theorized. But…why did you have those glimpses of my alternate…of everyone, for that matter…dying horrifically?"

"I don't know," Ash confessed, just as concerned. "What do you think it all means?"

"I think it means your world is toast," Leo said.

"What?!" Ash cried in alarm.

Leo shrugged. "Well, all those flashbacks within flashbacks made it clear all your friends were going to die, especially that last bit where you were crying and holding the love of your life as she died-"

"She wasn't the love of my life!" Ash retaliated automatically. "I don't even know her!"

"But you _did_," Pikachu pointed out, a sly grin forming on his face. "And her name was Misty, just like the Misty you like now…hmm, I think I see a connection here…"

"Ninja Buneary," Ash said bluntly. Pikachu flushed and shut up.

"I think those Annihilation dudes must have attacked the stadium after all and killed everyone. Heck, maybe even you!" Leo continued. "And you got reincarnated in our world as a Lucario somehow."

"No…that can't be right!" Ash protested. "My homeworld…a world I can't even really remember…can't just be…gone, can it?"

Leo shrugged. "You had to get here somehow, didn't you? There's lots of precedent for the destruction of a character's homeworld catapulting him into a whole different one."

"In fiction, not in real life," Pikachu argued.

"We live in a giant mishmash of multiverses. There's not much of a distinction," Leo retorted. "Don't you get that by now?"

Pikachu ignored him. "Ash came to our world because a prophecy said he would. Nowhere did it say he came because his world was destroyed." He paused. "Then again, it never said _how_ he would come to us…"

"No! I refuse to believe it!" Ash said angrily, fighting to hold back tears. His whole world, a home he couldn't even remember, all the friends and family waiting inside his head to be recalled…he refused to believe that he would never have a chance to see them again outside of his memories. "Not until I have further proof! Until then, I refuse to believe my world is dead!" He looked at Leo. "Leo, you said that stuff like the Star Badges restore people's memories all the time. Does that mean if we find another one, I'll remember more about my past?"

Leo nodded. "Basically, yeah."

Ash got to his feet. "Then our plan is the same as before. Find all seven Star Badges, save Misty, Gardevoir, and the world…and maybe get my memories back in the process!"

Pikachu nodded. "Sounds good to me. There's just one more thing that bothers me…" he frowned. "You said the terrorist group in your flashback was called 'Annihilation?' That sounds an awful lot like 'Nihilator.'"

Leo's father frowned. "Hmm…the evil organization you're fighting now? Do you suppose there could be a connection?"

Ash furrowed his brow in thought. "It can't be. They're in two different worlds!"

"But their methods seem similar, from what we already know of the Nihilators," Pikachu said. "Which isn't much, admittedly."

"Yeah, and _you_ came here from another world," Leo pointed out. "So who's to say they can't cross between universes, too? For all we know, they could both be part of some big multiversal crime syndicate! You guys don't really know a thing about who we're up against, who _knows_ how powerful they really are?"

This was a very worrying thought, but Leo's father put their fears to rest. "That's enough of that kind of talk," he said gruffly. "There's no reason to build up the threat potential of an enemy just because you don't know anything about them. That's what they want, for you to be so scared of what they might be like that you'll be too paralyzed with fear to engage them in battle. Best to clear your head of all worries and just confront them whenever, and however, you can, and leave all the speculations for later."

This caused the others to relax. "Yeah, that makes sense," Ash admitted.

"You have a very good head on…uh…well, a good head," Pikachu said.

"That's my Dad for you," Leo said proudly. "He always knows just the right thing to say when times are tough!"

"It's the wisdom of experience, my son," Leo's father said. "You'll get it too, someday. But for now, you boys need to head out and try to get that next Star Badge before the Nihilators do! I'd love to come with you, but…well…I'm a little disadvantaged at the moment," he said sheepishly.

"It's okay, Dad, we'll leave you in town with Mom. She'll be happy to see you," Leo assured his father. "And maybe I can drop off some of this stuff in my shell. I don't exactly need all of it where we're going, right guys?"

"Definitely," Ash nodded. "And after we've rested up and had a good meal…er, I don't suppose your mother would mind housing us for the night, would she?"

Leo shrugged and glanced at his father. "I don't see why not," the skull said.

"Good. After that, we'll head out for the…where are we going again?" Ash asked.

They sweatdropped. "The Tree of Beginnings," Pikachu informed him.

"Right, that place," Ash said.

"Don't you think we should also let Professor Oak know what we've discovered?" Pikachu asked his friend. "From the looks of the map, it would be faster for us to head directly for the Mystifying Forest rather than head back to Treasure Town to report in, and _then_ go to the Forest."

Ash nodded in agreement. "That sounds good." He paused. "Uh…how were we supposed to get in touch with the Professor again?" Everyone else facefaulted.

"Do you _ever_ listen to anything important anyone tells you?!" Pikachu snapped.

"Yeah, lots of times! But most of what he said went over my head," Ash said defensively.

"Or rather, right through it," Pikachu grumbled.

"Why don't we discuss this back in town?" Leo suggested. "We can probably get some stuff to eat, too, while we're at it."

"Sounds good to me!" Ash said eagerly.

"Doesn't it always," Pikachu muttered.

"It'll be good to be home after spending six years sitting in a nook in a hallway almost nobody used!" Leo's father said as they started back for Turtle Town. "Your mother hasn't been seeing anyone since I left, has she?"

Leo sweatdropped. "No, not really…mainly because whenever someone wanted to 'get together' with her, she insisted they dress up like you."

There was a rather awkward pause at that. Leo's father sweatdropped. "She's…never been the most stable of women, has she?"

Ash smirked. "Ha, that's nothing compared to some of the crazy things our dad's done! Pikachu, remember the time that he tried to teach me how to use a sword and-"

"Ash!" Pikachu hissed. "We promised never to speak of that incident ever again!"

Ash blinked. "But I was just going to-"

"NEVER. AGAIN," Pikachu repeated loudly.

Ash cringed. "Right. I forgot. Sorry."

Leo and his father sweatdropped. "I guess every family has their dark secrets, huh Dad?"

"And some are darker than most," the talking skull agreed. "Or at least very embarrassing. Hmm, like that one time when you ate some bad clams and-"

"DAAAAAAAAAD!" Leo shouted. "I told you never to talk about that!"

Pikachu groaned. "This is going to be a long adventure, isn't it?"

"I'm sorry son, I thought you'd gotten over the incredibly traumatic experience of-" Leo's father began to apologize.

"Not another word, Dad! You betrayed me! I'm furious and ashamed of you! I can't even look at you!" Leo said angrily, turning his father's skull away from him so they couldn't look each other in the eye.

The talking skull sighed. "I wish I had a body…"

"A very, _very_ long adventure…" Pikachu moaned.

"Yeah! Isn't it great?" Ash said excitedly, completely missing his brother's sarcasm. Pikachu facepalmed, wondering why he couldn't be on a team with someone who was sensible for a change.

…

Meanwhile, in the Mirage Kingdom of Aliore…

"Now presenting to their Majesties the Togeking and Togequeen of Mirage Kingdom, our honored guests Team Nightshade of Pokemon Square, here to rescue the fair Princess Sara from the diabolical Berry King!" a very loud Togepi, the court crier, announced at the top of his lungs. The numerous other Togepi and egg-shaped Pokemon courtiers filling the audience chamber cheered at the top of their little lungs as the giant egg-shaped doors at the front of the hall swung open and Gary the Gengar, Mary the Medicham, and Evan the Ekans entered the room, escorted by a pair of burly armored Exeggutor wearing the crest of the Mirage Kingdom, an unhatched Togepi egg.

"Wow, will you look at all this stuff?" Gary said as they walked down the red carpet running through the center of the hall towards the pair of 'thrones' at the back of the room. "Talk about swank digs…"

"There are gold and jewels everywhere," whispered an astonished Mary, looking at the columns, ceiling, and elaborate mosaics on the walls, all of which were made out of ridiculously ornate and valuable metals and gemstones. "This kingdom is so wealthy even the _commoners_ get to have houses built out of semiprecious materials!"

Evan's slit pupils had turned into Poke' signs. "If they're rich enough to wassste thisss much gold and jewelry on architecture, jussst _imagine_ what they'll give usss onccce we ressscue the princccesss!"

The Togeking of Mirage Kingdom, a very regal Togekiss with a red cloak with white trim and a plush red crown with encrusted gold and jewels seated in a roost made of very comfortable cushions on a dais at the back of the room, blinked and glanced at his wife, the Togequeen. "Team Nightshade? Didn't we specifically request Team Aurabolt?"

The Togequeen, an equally regal Togekiss with a purple cloak with white trim and a gold circlet crowned with pearls and diamonds seated in a roost about as comfortable as the Togeking's, frowned in thought. "I thought we did. I recall asking for them in our letter."

"Colonel Hansen, didn't we request Team Aurabolt's assistance?" the Togeking asked his trusted advisor Hansen, a Shedinja with a very nice mustache and tall cylindrical hat who was the commander of the Mirage Kingdom's army.

"We did, sir," the ghost bug drawled. "But apparently they were already on a mission of grave importance and so could not answer our summons. Team Nightshade was sent in their place."

"Oh, all right then," the Togeking said reluctantly. "I suppose the second-best Rescue Team in Pokemon Square will have to suffice."

"Actually, sire, Team _Aurabolt_ is the second-best team in Pokemon Square, with Team ACT as the very best," the Chancellor, Eggmun, a Togepi with an impressive goatee, corrected his lord.

The Togeking frowned. "Oh. Well…I guess _third­-_best isn't so bad…"

The Chancellor coughed. "Ah, actually, they're…er…the twenty-seventh-best team."

"Oh," said the Togeking. There was a pause. "Wait, _what_?!"

"Shh, no time to talk about this now, they're here!" the Togequeen hissed.

The Togeking composed himself and offered Team Nightshade a fake warm smile as they knelt (after being prodded by the guards) before him. "Ah, so you are the three brave heroes who have volunteered to save our daughter from the clutches of the wicked Berry King?"

Evan giggled at the name, until Mary hit him. "That's right, Your Majesty!" Gary said boldly. "We came all the way from Pokemon Square—because Team Aurabolt was unavailable, and everyone else in town was busy gearing up for an impending invasion, so we're the only ones they could send—to rescue fair Princess Sara from her lecherous captor! Just tell us what we need to do, and point us in the right direction, and she's as good as found! You have our word on that as a Rescue Team!"

The Togequeen smiled graciously. "We are most thankful for your assistance. We are sure you will do your best to bring her back to us safe and sound."

"Yeah, right," the Togeking coughed under his breath.

"So, where can we find this 'Berry King?'" Mary asked.

"And what sssort of reward will we get onccce we sssave the Princccesss?" Evan asked greedily. Mary punched him.

"Unfortunately, we do not know," Colonel Hansen said with a weary sigh. "The Berry King's domain has always been a closely guarded secret. We have interrogated every Poffin Men we've manage to capture for hours, but none of them have told us where he makes his home and where he is keeping Princess Sara!"

"However, we _do_ know a way that you can find her," the Togequeen assured the 'heroes' upon seeing their crestfallen faces.

The Togeking nodded. "That is correct. Eggmun, bring forth the Base!" The Chancellor nodded and left the room for a moment.

"Base?" Gary wondered as Evan snickered at the Togepi's name until Mary hit him again.

"As we mentioned in our letter, the Berry King stole a very powerful and _dangerous _artifact at the same time he kidnapped Sara," the Togeking explained to the trio. "Or rather, a _piece_ of a very powerful and _dangerous_ artifact."

"An artifact known as the Magnificent Compass," the Togequeen said. "A compass with unbridled power that can point the way to your heart's desire…and other things, aside from that. It could be used to find anything and anyone in the world, and not all those things were good ones. To keep it from being used by evil hands, the Compass was broken into six pieces and scattered across Aliore."

"One of those pieces," the Togeking said gravely. "Is in Princess Sara's crown."

"So you're saying we can find her by homing in on that piece?" asked Gary.

"But wait, that doesn't make sense. It sounds like we'd need the entire Compass to find that one piece of it! But it's broken, and Sara _has_ the missing piece, so…" Mary pointed out, somewhat confused.

"Your heart'sss desssire, huh?" Evan asked, thinking rather dark, greedy thoughts.

"While you need the whole Compass to find whatever it is you desire, each individual Compass piece can be used to find other pieces," the Togequeen explained. "They resonate with each other, since they were once part of the same whole."

"Oh," Mary realized. "So you have another piece we can use to find the one Sara has?"

"Er…not exactly," the Togeking admitted.

"We have the Base of the Compass," Eggmun said as he came back into the room, reverently carrying a silvery bowl of some sort, covered in strange mystic engravings. On closer examination, it wasn't a bowl at all, but the base of a compass, sans the glass cover. It still had a needle, though. "With it, you can find other Compass pieces and, presumably, the location of Princess Sara."

"Other pieces? We can't just use it to find exactly where Sara is?" Gary asked.

Eggmun shook his head. "The Compass needle points to six different places all over the continent. Sara has one of the missing pieces, which means that any one of those places could be the Berry King's lair."

"Then why don't you just send people out to those places and see if he lives at any of them?" Mary asked reasonably.

"We did," Hansen said flatly. "None of them returned."

"Which is why you want a Rescue Team like us to go and look for him," Gary realized. "Since we do this sort of thing for a living."

The Togeking nodded. "Precisely."

Eggmun handed the Compass Base to Gary. "With this, you can find where the other Compass pieces are located. Any one of the six places we already know of could be where the Berry King makes his home, so you'll have to visit them all until you find him and the Princess."

"You might as well gather the Compass Pieces while you're at it," Hansen suggested. "You know, since you'll be there and all."

"How original," Evan said sarcastically. "They'll probably be in the lassst placcce we look, too…"

"What are the seven locations you know of?" Gary asked the royalty.

"Volcano Cave, Chicole Village, Olive Jungle, Pueltown, Chroma Ruins, and Altru Tower," the Togequeen recited.

Gary sweatdropped. "I have no idea where any of those are…"

"We'll get a map," Mary assured him.

"If you can locate and rescue Princess Sara and trounce the Berry King once and for all, you will all be handsomely rewarded," the Togeking promised, causing Evan to start drooling acid on the carpet, much to the distaste of the cleaning staff. "You may even have my daughter's hand in marriage, if you wish."

"And all the property that comesss with it?" Evan asked eagerly. Mary hit him.

"All right then…we'll go forth and rescue the Princess!" Gary declared. "Egg-guy, which of those six places is closest?"

"Volcano Cave, I believe," Eggmun recalled.

Gary nodded. "Then that's where we'll go first! Come on team, let's go!"

"Wait!" Evan hissed. "Before we go…I have sssomething to sssay." His eyes narrowed suspiciously. "I think we're being ssset up!"

The courtiers gasped. Gary and Mary groaned, knowing Evan was about to do something really stupid. The Togeking and Togequeen frowned. "Whatever are you talking about?!" the Togeking demanded.

"I think that thisss whole kidnapping thing isss actually a russse to lure your attention away from the TRUE danger to your kingdom…a danger embodied in HIM!" Evan declared, pointing his tail at the startled Eggmun. The courtiers gasped again. Gary facepalmed. Mary cracked her knuckles.

"…Eggmun has been my faithful advisor and Chancellor for years," said the confused Togeking. "His loyalty is without question."

"Exxxactly!" Evan hissed. "_Everyone _knowsss the Chancccellor isss alwaysss evil! And besssidesss, he hasss a goatee! He _mussst_ be a bad guy!" Everyone facefaulted.

"Oh, for the love of-" Hansen snarled.

"And don't think I don't have my eye on you too, missster!" Evan growled, jabbing his tail at the Shedinja. "Your facccial hair looksss pretty sssussspiccciousss too! I wouldn't be sssurprisssed if you're in on it, and are going to engineer a coup and create a military junta when they leassst sssussspect-"

He was interrupted by Mary grabbing him around the neck tight enough to cut off his oxygen. He gasped and rasped for breath, his lower body flailing and whacking Mary in the shins. She didn't care. "Ah, thank you for your time, your Majesties," Gary said hurriedly as he backed away towards the exit, Mary dragging Evan after him. "We'll just be going now. Can't waste any time, there's no telling what sorts of things that Berry King guy will do to your daughter if we don't hurry up and save her! So we'll just get cracking. Goodbye, so long, sayonara, SEEYA!" They dashed out of the room.

The audience chamber was silent for a long, long time. The Togeking put his face in his hands and wept. The Togequeen frowned at Eggmun. "They _really_ couldn't spare-"

"Actually, madam, I think this is _precisely_ why they were sent here," the Chancellor sighed. "So that they wouldn't get underfoot while the rest of the town was preparing for that full-scale invasion they mentioned."

The Togequeen groaned. "Wonderful."

"I'll have two of my best men follow them," Hansen volunteered. "To keep them out of trouble…or, more likely, from _causing_ it! Because if anyone needs protection from their own foolishness, it's _that_ trio."

Little did he know that an even _more_ incompetent trio was about to embark on an epic journey of their own…

Not until the next chapter, though.

…

Sorry this chapter took so long. It was much bigger than I thought it would be! I apologize for not having a big battle, but I thought that this would be more complex and character-building. Was I right?

Next time, we'll take a break from the main characters and finally see where Misty and Gardevoir are being held…and what their ultimate fate might be!

Oh, and Team Rocket will show up too. They had to eventually, right?


	14. Whatever happened to whatshername?

Now that finals are done, here's the next chapter!

And boy, is it a creepy one…you might want to turn the lights on as high as you can, because it's going to get VERY dark in here.

Well, maybe not _that_ dark, but…it's gonna be dim, I'll tell you that much.

…

Disclaimer: I own no characters that don't belong to me.

…

The last few weeks had not been good for Misty.

At least, she thought it had been just a few weeks. It could have been months. Or a year or two. It was hard to tell time when you were locked in a tiny cell deep within an impossibly huge base that she hadn't even seen most of, far away from the sun, and when they constantly switched the lights on and off at infrequent and agonizingly long intervals of time to further disorient you. And when you had a horrible mask strapped to your face that was physically preventing you from falling asleep, ever, so she had been forced to stay awake for…she didn't even know how long anymore. It was rather understandable that she'd be unable to tell time, if not lose her mind entirely.

Her sanity was actually closer to slipping away than even her captors knew. The lack of sleep, as well as the occasional torture sessions, was wearing away at her. They hadn't even asked her any questions, just stuck her in whatever horrific contraption they managed to drag out from their storerooms and listened to her scream. More than a few times she had broken down and been willing to tell them anything, betray everyone and everything she cared about (except for that one thing, that deepest and most heartfelt secret she refused to admit to anyone, even herself), just to make the pain stop, especially when they used some kind of psychic machine on her which forced her to relive both the happiest and most horrible moments of her life in rapid succession until she was unable to tell pleasure from pain or right from wrong or fantasy from reality or, well, anything, for that matter. She was very close to losing it, and sometimes she thought she'd already lost it, considering how reality occasionally seemed…_off_ to her. And she had occasional hallucinations. Incredibly terrifying ones, naturally, that made her question the world around her and drove her that much closer to the brink of madness.

They had not raped her, thankfully. Not for lack of trying, though. But after she'd bitten off the dicks and brutally savaged the last few who tried, in spite of her restraints and the shock collar they'd put on her to keep her from turning into water and escaping, they decided it wasn't worth it.

Gardevoir had not been touched. She was in the cell right next to Misty's, and they made her watch whenever they did something to her, but they hadn't tortured the Psychic or harmed her in the slightest since she had gotten there. In fact, they seemed to be going out of their way to be nice to her, giving her the best food and care and even being polite to her whenever she desperately yelled at them to let Misty go, to allow her to take her friend's place, to stop this madness and let both of them go free. They even called her "Miss" and "Ma'am" as they gently ignored her pleas and protests. Misty knew it was unfair, but she was starting to hate her friend. It was hard not to, since the Embrace Pokemon was enjoying relative luxury (so to speak) while Misty was being tortured only a few feet away from her. Yes, they made Gardevoir watch, but the gruesome-looking headgear they'd forced the Psychic to wear completely nullified her empathic and mental abilities, so she couldn't feel any of Misty's anguish and suffering or offer anything more than her sympathies, which Misty found to be completely worthless in their current situation. Initially Gardevoir had tried to whisper words of comfort and hope to her through the cell walls whenever the guards were bored with toying with them, but as time wore on and no sign of rescue came, those words became fewer and far between, and Misty was by that point so out of it she barely heard anything anyway.

As a result, at first she thought it was just another trick her fatigued and abused mind was playing on her when one of the guards, a nasty-looking Manectric with strange black armor and jumpsuit and an N emblem emblazoned on his chest, opened the door to her cell and told her that the 'Shadow' wanted to see them. When she didn't immediately get up and follow him, the incredibly painful jolt she got from her collar told her this was not another figment of her fracturing mind, so she stood up in a daze and stumbled after the guard. A group of other equally nasty-looking Electric and Grass-types formed up around her, and started leading her somewhere. She noticed that Gardevoir had also been removed from her cell, and was now surrounded by an escort of Dark-types.

"Oh! Misty-" Gardevoir started to call out to her friend, until a Skuntank politely interrupted her.

"Please don't talk to the prisoner, madam," the giant smelly skunk said gently. "It doesn't do to treat them as if they're actual people anymore, it gives them ideas and makes it that much harder for them to succumb to the heartless brutality we subject them to on a regular basis."

"But she's my friend!" Gardevoir protested.

"Not for much longer she isn't," a Drapion snickered gleefully.

_So they're going to kill me,_ Misty thought faintly, trying to keep her focus on taking one step forward at a time and not give any of her guards an excuse to shock her. She was, rather depressingly, somewhat relieved that her torment was almost at an end, even if that end was going to be gruesome. _Good. It took them long enough. A shame I couldn't-_ She clamped down on that thought before she could go any further down that line of reasoning. It didn't do to think of such things at a time like this, it would only hurt her more in the end. She had learned that the hard way the last time she had been-

No. No more memories, no more wishes, no more regrets for what might have been. The present was all that mattered, because it was all she had left. Her future had already been decided for her. All she could do now was accept it.

The guards took them through the endless corridors and chambers of their headquarters. A more clear-thinking Misty would have tried to take stock of her surroundings in case an opportunity to escape showed itself, but by this point she didn't really think something like that would happen, so saw no point in trying. She noted, however, that the guards were leading them on a rather circuitous and confusing route. Were they doing it as a precaution for the strategy she had just rejected using, or because this place was just so immense that it took forever to get anywhere?

Either way, after riding a number of elevators, passing through several dozen checkpoints and heavily secured doors, and all sorts of other things she wasn't really paying attention to, they reached their destination. It was less a throne room than a massive control room, with lots of blinking lights and flashing buttons and hundreds of hi-def screens coating the walls displaying images that changed several times a second, each showing a vista of someplace presumably out in the world, or inside the base. Misty started for a moment, thinking she caught a glimpse of Pokemon Square, but the image was gone before she could get a better look.

The sole occupant of this control center was a towering shadowy figure standing with its back to them as it operated one of the consoles. Misty was momentarily stunned by its height; it was taller than any of the guards, and taller even than Gardevoir! She had seen bigger Pokemon, yes, but most of them were usually much wider or longer. This one seemed almost…humanoid. For a brief moment she wondered if it could actually be a human, but immediately dismissed that idea, recalling that they were extinct. Then she remembered that Ash claimed he had used to be a human too…

The figure turned around, and Misty's breath caught in her chest. The being, whatever it was, wasn't much clearer from the front as it was from behind. Its entire form was sheathed in a rather tight floor-length cloak hanging from a wide silvery mantle on the being's shoulders, the cape-like fabric woven from some material so black it absorbed all the light in the room and revealed no hint of what the body underneath it looked like. Maybe there was no body at all, and it was just an entity of pure darkness and nothingness. Its head was more visible, but no less enigmatic, a black cowled helmet with no particular adornments aside from a pair of long curved horns growing from the top of its head. In place of a face, there was a mirrored faceplate with a faintly embossed N-on-Earth symbol, to prevent anyone from learning the figure's identity or guessing what it was thinking.

"Lord Shadow," the Skuntank said, striking a salute. "We have brought the prisoners, as you requested."

The figure nodded silently and came towards them, its motions less like a walk and more like a glide. It glanced at Gardevoir, then Misty, then back at Gardevoir, fixing her in its sight so that her face was reflected back to her. To both girls' astonishments, that face then began to talk, and in Gardevoir's voice no less! "Greetings, my friends," the reflection said, sounding exactly like the real deal but with a rather crueler and darker undertone. "Welcome to the secret headquarters of the Nihilators. I am their leader, Oblivion's Shadow, but you may simply call me 'Shadow' if it suits you. I apologize for not greeting you in person when you first arrived, but I had other matters to attend to. One is always busy when one is trying to destroy all universes and realities, after all. I do hope you found your accommodations…" The Shadow suddenly glanced at Misty, and her face filled its mask, and her voice completed the sentence. "To be satisfactory?" Misty trembled. She was starting to wonder if this wasn't another hallucination after all. It was so surreal…

"How are you doing that?!" asked an astounded Gardevoir. "And could you please stop? It's…rather unnerving."

The Shadow glanced back at her, and took her face and voice once more. "That is precisely why I do it, my dear," it replied in a mocking version of Gardevoir's usual compassionate, gentle tones. "To be unsettling."

"…What is it you want with us?" Gardevoir asked after a moment, trying to compose herself and not look like she was as frightened as she really was.

The mirror image smirked. "You're not exactly in a position to be asking questions, now are you? If anything, it's _I_ who should be requesting information from you…so I think I will. Allow me into your mind."

Gardevoir started. "Let you…no! Of course not!" She was appalled that this 'Shadow' would ask her so brazenly to allow it access to her innermost thoughts. A Psychic's mind was their sanctuary and most precious possession; it was only natural that, as Pokemon capable of peering into the thoughts of others, they'd be wary of letting others into their own. For another Psychic (assuming this…creature was psychic) to bluntly ask her to open her mind to him, on their first meeting, was akin to someone asking you to have sex with them on the first date. It was very impolite, and not something done between Psychics who weren't already very close and intimate with each other. After all, if a person could get inside your head, there were all sorts of…very cruel and unscrupulous things they could do. Gardevoir felt ill just thinking about it.

Then again, the 'Shadow' was clearly a very powerful villain, so obviously didn't care much for the norms of Psychic social interaction, as it demonstrated when it nodded and said, "I didn't think you'd allow me entry that easily. However, you must know by now that I'm powerful enough to simply reach into your mind and _take_ everything I want without your permission, and the only reason I don't do that this instant is because it would cause you a great deal of psychological trauma—maybe even kill you—and I need your mind and your sanity to be intact if you're going to be of any use to me. So, here's what we're going to do." He turned to Misty, and suddenly she screamed and fell to the ground as her collar started electrocuting her. "I'm going to shock your friend until she dies, which, considering her current condition, should not be very long," the Shadow said in the Vaporeon's voice. "Unless, of course, you let me into your mind. Now."

"D-don't…do it…" Misty gasped through the pain.

Of course, Gardevoir, being a bleeding heart, caved in at once. "All right, all right, I'll do it!" she cried desperately. "Just stop hurting her!"

"Very well." Misty's body sagged as the collar shut down, and the Shadow turned back to Gardevoir. "Now…" Gardevoir gasped and stiffened. Woozy, Misty blinked, but didn't see anything that was causing her friend to react that way. Then again, not all Psychic abilities were necessary visible. This idea was validated when, after a few moments, the Shadow grunted slightly and the Embrace Pokemon slumped, gasping for breath and looking rather flushed. "Hmm…fascinating."

"You…" Gardevoir panted. "Your mind…so dark…so _vile_…how…how can anyone be so evil?"

"It's surprisingly easy," the Shadow replied in Gardevoir's voice. "All it takes sometimes is one really bad day…and a whole slew of consecutively worse ones after that. I'm rather surprised you didn't turn out more like me yourself, considering the experiences you've suffered through." Its mantle shrugged. "Then again, some people deal with pain better than others. Oh well. And speaking of bad days…" It turned to Misty, and her face appeared in its mirror-mask once again. "I'm afraid yours is going to get a lot worse, young lady."

"What do you-" Misty started, and suddenly he was inside her head and looking through her eyes and rooting through her memories and-_insects crawling chewing eating mommy daddy where are you help me help me help me help me sisters don't leave me help me help me help me legs and spines and webs and claws and shells and eggs and eyes crawling everywhere crawling on me EATING me maggots and worms and hatchlings and spit eating eating eating everything everything living dead each other laughing Queen happy to obey happy to obey happy to obey happy happy happy must feed must serve Queen must serve colony give life for Queen give life for eggs give life for colony give my flesh give my soul EAT their flesh EAT their souls I am nothing without colony I am nothing I am nothing I do not matter I am one of many when I die more will follow my flesh will nourish them and theirs will nourish others we will swarm over the land and feast feast FEAST until we eat up world and-_

_No. No. This is wrongthisiswrongthisiswrong have to get out have to get out have to get out have to get out have to have to have to have to_

_No! Nononononononononononononononooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo_

Darkness.

…

An Ampharos nudged Misty, who was lying on the floor drooling with a blank look in her eyes, unresponsive to any of the shocks from her collar, with her foot. "I think you broke her, sir," the Light Pokemon said.

"Hmm," the Shadow said, still in Misty's voice. "I think I did. Her mind was much more fragile than I had anticipated. I had thought she would be stronger for some reason. Oh well. I suppose weeks of sleep deprivation and torture can do that to a Pokemon."

Gardevoir was absolutely horrified. Forcing your way into someone's mind without permission was akin to sexual assault among Psychics. But forcing them into someone's mind and then _completely destroying it _was a crime almost too horrendous to contemplate. In fact, Gardevoir had found the very idea of such a thing so awful to think of that she assumed nobody could possibly be cruel enough to do such a thing to someone else. But, if there was anything her time outside of Pokemon Square was teaching her, it was that there seemed to be no limits to how boundlessly _evil_ some people could be. "You…how…how could you…" She bristled, shock turning to fury. "You _monster!_"

The Shadow snorted. "Is that the best you can think of? Please, I've been called much worse in my time. Hmm…" It stared at Misty for a moment. After several seconds, the Vaporeon jolted back to life, eyes bulging in their sockets as her mouth stretched open in a silent scream and a jet of blood spurted from her nose. "There. All better."

"Misty!" Gardevoir cried anxiously. "Are you all right?"

Misty's eyes crossed and she abruptly threw up. There was more than a little blood laced in her vomit. "Do-do I _look_ all right?!" she yelled weakly, her body trembling all over. She felt awful, inside and out, and had a splitting headache. She could only vaguely remember what had happened to her, but recalled the cold violating feeling of the Shadow's psychic tendrils penetrating her and…she shuddered. Was this what it felt like to be raped? If so, she was glad she had bitten off the members of those guards who had tried to do it to her. They had certainly deserved it.

As Misty attempted to recover from her literally mind-scarring trauma, the Shadow turned, glided over to a console, and silently pressed a button. At first nothing happened. But then, a few moments later…

The temperature in the room abruptly dropped several degrees. The guards shivered and rubbed themselves for warmth as their extremities turned blue. The Skuntank's teeth began to chatter. Gardevoir hugged herself and Misty shuddered as the cold ravaged her weakened body. The Shadow showed no sign of being affected by the strange change in temperature. A gust of very cold wind suddenly blew through the chamber, startling the guards and their prisoners as it swirled around them and coalesced in the center of the room, causing the temperature to drop even lower and frost to form on the monitors lining the walls. The freezing winds whirled faster and faster as a great jagged block of ice erupted from the floor in a flurry of frost and snow, a dark figure visible within its depths. The block shattered, releasing a blast of sheer cold which blew the circling icy winds outward and covered a few of the larger guards in snow, much to their displeasure. Misty shook her body to knock some snow off her back. Gardevoir blinked, somewhat impressed by the entrance, although she knew she shouldn't have been.

The released Pokemon levitated over the few crumbling bits of ice left from the block, a four-foot tall creature with a white body resembling a kimono and a red band around its waist like an obi. It had a head shaped like a droplet of water turned on its side with two ice crystals growing from the top, several holes through which purple skin could be seen underneath it, and a pair of long, thin arms dangling off the sides like ears, flared at the wrist and furthering the kimono look. Strange glowing sigils covered her 'sleeves' and 'robe', throbbing with a malign arcane glare. Two of the holes in the creature's face revealed a pair of crystal-blue eyes with yellow scleras which glanced at the other Pokemon in the room with utter disdain and disinterest before focusing on the Shadow. The Pokemon, a Froslass, bowed obediently to the taller, darker figure. "Lord Shadow. You summoned me?" she whispered in a thin, cold, quiet voice like the icy breeze before a giant snowstorm which buried you alive.

The Shadow nodded, its mirror-mask reflecting the Froslass's face. "Bellum, I have examined the mind of the Gardevoir who unsealed and read the map. While she will certainly be an asset to us once we've retrieved the map from the Rescue Team she sent it to, I have reason to believe that she might serve our…_other_ purpose as well. I wish you to verify this."

The Froslass nodded. "As you command, Lord Shadow." She glided over to Gardevoir, who recoiled somewhat from the coldness radiating from the icy ghost's body…and from her frozen, unfeeling heart. "Hmm…" She paused, raising an eyebrow in what would have looked like interest on a less jaded individual. "_Hmm…_" She circled Gardevoir a few times, looking her all over with an almost _aroused_ eye which sickened the Psychic and made her feel like she was a piece of artwork about to be auctioned off…or even worse, a slave for sale…

The icy phantom nodded after finishing her inspections, looking almost pleased. "Yes…yes, she will do nicely, Lord Shadow. She has a soul of purest beauty…and her figure isn't bad, either." She smacked Gardevoir's rear, causing her to gasp. The Froslass cackled. "We couldn't have asked for a better vessel! She's perfect!"

"Why am I not elated to hear that?" Gardevoir muttered anxiously.

"And what of the Vaporeon?" the Shadow asked, still in the ghost's voice.

"Hmm?" the Froslass only glanced at Misty for half a second before snorting and waving at her dismissively. "She's nothing. Just another sad, tormented soul, held in the grip of her sorrowful past and traumatic memories, just like any other pathetic mortal. She's worthless. Of no use to us. Might as well dispose of her."

The Shadow nodded. "Very well." Misty tensed, realizing (and almost relieved to hear) that this might very well be the end.

"Wait!" Gardevoir cried, panicking. "If you kill her, I'll never help you with…with whatever it is you need me for!"

The Shadow glanced at her, taking her face and voice. "Your willing cooperation was never needed. We can use you to further our goals whether you want to or not."

Gardevoir blinked in surprise. "But…but then why have you kept her alive for so long? Wasn't she-"

The Shadow shook its head. "A bargaining chip to ensure your good behavior? No, I've only let her live this long so I could take any potentially useful information from her mind…and for morale."

"What?!" Gardevoir gasped.

"M-morale?!" Misty asked incredulously, which only earned her a rather painful jolt from her collar.

The Shadow glanced at Misty and nodded. "Yes. As you might have gathered already, my Nihilators are not very nice people. But like any disreputable army, they can be kept in line so long as I keep them happy and content with their lot and provide them with toys they can use to work out their aggression and practice their torturing skills on to their heart's content. You served that purpose nicely."

Misty collapsed to the floor, her knees going weak both due to this horrifying revelation and because she was so tired she couldn't stand up any more. Gardevoir was shocked. "You captured her and kept her alive just to torture her?! For _fun?!_"

"Yes," the Shadow replied.

The Skuntank guard nodded. "Yeah, why do you think we have such big dungeons and so many toys, to play with? An organization as big as ours needs to inflict a _lot_ of suffering on other people on a regular basis to feel better about ourselves."

A Luxray nodded. "That's right, just the other day I slowly electrocuted an elderly couple who'd never done anyone any harm in their lives to death just so I could get off on their screaming and the funny twitching they made as I pumped them full of several thousand volts of electricity. And Rudy mutilated a big fat Granbull who called him a bad name and pulled out his intestines with a hook, didn't you Rudy?"

Rudy, a Cacturne, nodded in agreement. "Yes, it was very satisfying. Worked off a lot of stress. Was pretty tasty, too. Speaking of which, could I eat the Vaporeon once you're done killing her, boss?"

The Shadow shook its head, which now had a Cacturne face in its mirror. "Now, now, Rudy, you know very well that we throw the corpses of our dead to the kitchens to process into meals for _everyone_, not just one hungry Nihilator. It's the rules."

"Awww…" Rudy, and a number of other Nihilators, whined in disappointment.

"I don't believe this…" whispered a stunned Gardevoir. "What _are_ you people?!"

The Shadow turned to Bellum. "Kill the Vaporeon now, if you please. But capture her soul and give it to me for study. You may find it worthless but I believe it might yield a few things of interest under proper scrutiny."

The Froslass nodded. "As you wish, my Lord."

"Y-you can't have my soul!" Misty protested, her hopes of escaping to a happy afterlife abruptly shattering. "I th-thought nobody could take it from me!"

"You were wrong, dear," Bellum said, a spear like a giant icicle forming in one hand. "About a great many other things in life, too."

"Please, don't, I beg of you!" Gardevoir pleaded desperately.

"No," the Shadow said bluntly. "Do it."

Bellum grinned cruelly. "With pleasure." She drew back the spear…

When someone else protested. Someone who was not Gardevoir. "Vait!"

Everyone glanced to the door. Misty's blood ran colder than the twisted Froslass's frozen heart when she saw what was standing there.

An enormous Ariados entered the room, its six legs clacking against the icy metal floor as it came towards them, the guards respectfully (and fearfully) getting out of its way as it passed them. They had good reason to, for this was no ordinary Ariados.

Almost all of its body was either covered in or made of metal. Four of its six legs had been replaced by robotic, multi-jointed appendages which whirred and clicked as they propelled the spider forward, one of the legs on its back and its front right leg the only ones which were still biological in nature, and even they had a number of metal patches, spikes, and circuit boards grafted onto them. The spider's abdomen appeared to be completely made of metal, a large red and black piece of machinery with numerous spikes and cables and wires and pistons and clear glowing tubes growing from it, a circuit pattern that looked like a frowning face etched on the back, and a very complicated barbed mechanism growing the very end that was probably used to generate webbing, no doubt stronger than thread made by normal spiders. Its midsection seemed to be mostly organic, though there were a number of cables running from it to the robot legs and the mechanical abdomen, and it looked rather withered and scarred. The spider's head wasn't much better; almost seventy percent of it was made of metal, with its left eye and a bit of the red skin surrounding it the only organic pieces remaining. Everything else was made of shining silver and black titanium, with a pair of segmented fangs surrounding its rather ghastly gnashing and grinding mouth and a big golden spike growing from its forehead. Its right eye was an overlarge glowing red optic which swiveled and telescoped in and out to take in everyone in the room.

All of this alone was enough to make it a creature from an insectophobe's worst nightmare, but there was something even worse about it that made Misty want to scream her lungs out. Its skin was crawling. Literally. Thousands and thousands of tiny mechanical spiders were constantly swarming across the surface of the Ariados' body, climbing over each other and competing for space on their master's back. The Ariados didn't appear to notice or care about this at all, but from the disgusted and frightened looks on everyone else's faces, it was clear that the other Nihilators were not especially fond of this monstrosity.

And neither was Misty. She trembled and stumbled, darkness forming in the edges of her vision as the whole room seemed to shake around her. She panted; sweat rolling down her form as she struggled to regain control of herself, to keep a grip on her sanity, to keep from losing the tenuous hold on reality that had already been so badly shaken by the Shadow's intrusion into her mind. Fighting for every inch, she managed to reel herself back from the black pit of madness, twisting her head away from the monstrous Ariados and focusing on a totally featureless point on the wall several yards away. There. So long as she didn't look at the spider, she could almost pretend it wasn't there. Gardevoir gave her friend an anxious look, knowing all too well how Misty felt about bugs…and _why…_

Bellum scowled, clearly not happy to see the cyborg. "Doctor Tarantulas," she said disdainfully. "What a…pleasure to see you again. I didn't think anything could drag you from your lab these days, or your _experiments_." She sneered on the last word, clearly finding the spider's presence and actions completely disgusting.

The Ariados coughed, then spoke in a heavily accented voice almost completely drowned out by the machinery that hissed and clanked every time he drew breath. "Az if your magic vere any lezz ezzical, Frau Bellum? Or lezz painful to your victims?"

Bellum huffed. "My kills and tortures are glorious works of art and suffering. Yours? Nothing more than gross brutality and banal cruelty, especially where that moronic assistant of yours is concerned."

The Ariados growled, and its red optic zoomed out to glare at the ghost. "Zcience iz rarely elegant or neat, Frau Bellum. And if you vant to dizcuzz moronic azziztantz, let'z talk about your daughterz, zhall ve?"

"Doctor," the Shadow interrupted the clear rivals before they could get into a fight, now in the spider's face and mechanical voice. "To vat do ve owe ze pleasure of ziz visit? I thought you and your azziztant vere preparing to leave to overzee our operationz in ze Tree of Beginningz."

The Ariados bowed his head respectfully with the loud creaking and whining of several joints. "Herr Shadow, I vas indeed tying up zome lazt-minute projects and getting everything ready to go, ven I heard you had a Vaporeon in captivity. I ruzhed over here at once to lay claim to her before you made a terrible mistake and executed her before getting ze maximum uze out of her. You zee, I am currently engaged in a razzer fazcinating experiment zat could benefit from somevone vith a Vaporeon'z…eh, _unique_ qualitiez, if you know what I mean." Misty's heart stopped at that. He wanted _her?_

The Shadow tilted its head in curiosity. "Vat sort of 'experiment?'"

The Doctor immediately launched into an incredibly detailed scientific explanation which lasted for ten minutes and went completely over everyone else's heads. The Shadow seemed to understand perfectly, though. "Fazcinating. Vat are her chancez of dying in zis experiment, Doctor?"

The Ariados gave a multi-layered shrug with all six of his limbs, causing the mini-spiders on his back to undulate like a rippling wave. "Hard to say, Herr Shadow. If my calculationz are correct—and I have no reazon to doubt zey are—she haz at least a fifty-nine percent chance of survival due to her body'z unique molecular propertiez. If I am wrong, she vill probably die screaming."

The Shadow nodded. "Very well, Doctor. You can have her. But if she survivez, kill her vhen you no longer have need of her and give her soul to me for study. Do ze same thing if she dies in ze experiment."

The Doctor nodded. "As you wish, Herr Shadow."

"_No!_" Misty screamed frantically, her vision darkening again. "Please, don't make me go with him! Kill me, torture me, rape me, _anything_, just _don't leave me with him!"_ She started sobbing pathetically. "Please…please…"

The Doctor examined Misty with interest. "An arachnophobe?"

"She has had a razzer traumatic past where Bug-typez are involved," the Shadow explained. "One which haz left severe scarz on her pzyche."

"Ah! Fazcinating…" said the intrigued Doctor.

"Please, don't! If you have any heart at all, don't do this, don't send her away with him! If she doesn't die first, she'll go insane! Again," Gardevoir desperately implored their captor. "I'll do anything you want, just don't do this!"

They all ignored her. "Take her away, Doctor."

Tarantulas cackled gleefully. "Vith pleasure, Herr Shadow!" The insects on his back swarmed down his legs and started crawling across the floor towards Misty. Revolted, the guards quickly pulled their feet away so none of the mechanical spiders touched them.

Misty screamed and tried to scramble away from the spiders, but her collar activated and dropped her to the floor writhing in pain, allowing the metal mites to catch up to her and began crawling all over her body. She started screaming again, and didn't stop, as the machines covered her completely, hefted her up on a mass formed from their piled-up bodies, and carried her out of the room. Doctor Tarantulas laughed maniacally and followed his minions, his cackles and Misty's screams echoing through the halls of the fortress as they moved away from the Shadow's control room.

Ignoring the pale and horrified look on Gardevoir's face, the Shadow turned to Bellum again. "Now that that matter has been dealt with, let's move on to other business. I have learned the identities of the Rescue Team who currently possess the map. They are Ash, a Lucario, and Pikachu Thunderblade, a Pikachu. Both are from Pokemon Square. Our latest information from Agent Watercress in Turtle Town indicates that they've recently added a third member to their team, Leonardo DeKappa, and have managed to defeat the dread dragon Tiama and reclaim the Star Badge we suspected her of having."

Gardevoir gasped. "They've already managed to get one of the Badges? Wonderful!"

Bellum nodded in agreement. "Yes, it means one less for us to find, I'll simply pry it from their frozen, dead fingers. You wish for me to track them down, kill them, and retrieve the map and Star Badge?"

"No!" Gardevoir cried in alarm.

"Yes," the Shadow said. "However…try and bring the Lucario to me alive, if you could, though he doesn't have to be in particularly good condition when he gets here. If you cannot capture him alive, then at least bring me his soul for further study."

Bellum frowned. "That's the second soul you explicitly requested today…what is so important about this Vaporeon and Lucario that you want their souls specifically?"

"The Lucario believes himself to be a former human. I wish to see if this is indeed the case," the Shadow explained. "In addition, he and the Vaporeon are in love with each other, though they refuse to admit it. By putting their souls together in close proximity and testing the strength of their feelings for each other, I can continue my studies into seeing whether or not love truly transcends death…and bring me that much closer to either turning it into a weapon or eradicating it from the Omniverse forever."

"You would destroy all love?!" asked the incredulous Gardevoir.

"Or weaponize it. I'm not picky," the Shadow replied in her voice.

Bellum bowed. "Your wish is my command, Lord Shadow. I will bring you the map, Badge, and Lucario…after I've had a little _fun_ with him first." A sinister smile on her face, she vanished in a flurry of cold wind and snowflakes.

"You want us to take the lady back to her cell, sir?" the Skuntank asked his master as the room's temperature rose again.

"No, I've arranged a new one for her. I'll take her there myself," the Shadow replied in the Dark Pokemon's voice.

The skunk nodded. "Okay. What shall we do instead, then?"

"Die," the Shadow said. Instantly, all of the guards' heads exploded, showering blood all over the room. Gardevoir screamed as blood and bits of brains splattered all over her. None seemed to touch the Shadow, as if it were afraid of making contact with his body…or more likely, as he were shielding himself psychically.

"What…how…why did you do that?!" the astounded and terrified Gardevoir cried.

"I was rewarding them for their service," the Shadow said calmly in her voice.

"You reward your followers by _killing _them?!" the psychic cried in disbelief.

"Yes," the Shadow replied. "For the Nihilators, death is the ultimate reward. We have a very generous afterlife retirement plan, you see."

Gardevoir blinked, not comprehending. "…An afterlife retirement plan?"

"Yes," the Shadow said. "You'll see it yourself, some day. But not just yet. For now…" It gave her a long, meaningful look. At least, she thought it was long and meaningful, since she couldn't see any face but her own, it was hard to tell "Let's see about getting you comfortable in your new quarters, shall we?"

Gardevoir trembled, more than a little scared at the thought of being alone with this dark being. It had casually ordered the deaths of her friends, murdered its own servants in cold blood, and was plotting the destruction of all life and love everywhere in the Omniverse, presumably by opening that _terrible_ door under Treasure Town. What manner of monster _was_ it?

And was there any way she, or Misty, could survive his clutches long enough to ever see Pokemon Square again?

…

The blind Lucario walked peacefully through the hidden paradise, enjoying the fresh breeze, the wonderful smells, and the warmth all around him, certainly much more of a luxury than the cold mountain caves he had spent the last few years living in. He heard some leaves rustling beside him, and paused. He sniffed the air a few times. Slowly, he turned around, knowing before he did so what would be waiting for him. He burst into a grin, for even though he could not see her with his Aura-sight, he could recognize her presence anywhere. "It's good to see you again, Krysta. Figuratively speaking, that is."

She laughed, her voice like the ringing of silver bells and sweet cinnamon. Don't ask me how something can sound like cinnamon, it just did, okay? "And you as well, Aaron. It has been far too long. Far, _far_ too long." The Ninetales strode over to him and rubbed her body against his, rising up slightly on her hind legs so that she could lean her head on his shoulder to nuzzle his cheek while her nine long, luxuriant tails wrapped themselves around his legs. He sighed and relaxed as he took in her scent, her heat, her sheer _presence._ She was right. It _had_ been far too long. He had almost lost track of how long it had been since he was last here, what with all his intensive training and all.

It was with a force of effort and sheer willpower that he managed to interpose the top of his staff between their snouts before she could try and kiss him, because he knew that if she did, he'd lose all self-control and forget why he had come here for…days, possibly. "Did you call me here just so we could have a little fun, or is there something important you needed to tell me?"

He could feel (not see) her pouting in disappointment. "Oh, poo! You never just want to have a good time, do you?" She sighed. "Typical steadfast, ramrod-straight, unswayable Aura Guardian…" Reluctantly, she pulled herself off of his body. "You've felt it, haven't you?" She said finally, after licking her fur down a little and calming somewhat, all serious now. "A shift in the balance of things. A feeling of change in the air, a grim and ominous portent for our future."

Aaron nodded. "I have. What does it mean? The end of the world?"

"Possibly. Maybe the end of _all_ worlds, everywhere," she replied.

Aaron frowned. "What can I do to stop it?"

"What makes you so sure it can be stopped?" she asked. "Sometimes disasters are destined to happen, Aaron. You can't save everyone."

"Destiny is where you find it and what you make of it," Aaron replied. "Fate is no more immutable than water, or wind, or sufficiently aged stone, so is as susceptible to change as anything else in our world. Even if it cannot be stopped, I must try. As an Aura Guardian and Rescue Team leader, I can do no less."

He sensed her nodding from the way the motion of her head displaced the air around her and shifted the fur on her neck to make a sound so faint most ears could not have heard it. Most ears weren't his, however. "That is what I thought you would say, Aaron. You have the heart of a true hero, and that is why you are needed in these dangerous times."

"What is it I need to do?" Aaron asked Krysta.

"You encountered part of the Monkey King's army further down the mountain. In the last few months, his power has grown significantly and he has managed to lay claim to many more territories and enslave and enlist many more Pokemon into his forces. Like all barbarians, he seeks to wipe out all civilization on the continent," Krysta explained.

"Naturally," said Aaron.

"However, unlike most of the warlords who have preceded him, he stands a good chance of succeeding. Nearly every city, town, and village on Kanjohenn has been destroyed or annexed by the armies of the Monkey King or the other barbarians. Pokemon Square is the last bastion of freedom and hope on the continent, the final unconquered city still standing," Krysta continued.

Aaron started at this. "What?! Things have gotten that bad?! Why did you not tell me of this?! Why didn't the Aura or the winds inform me of these current events? I could have done something about them!"

"You were not told because you were not needed, and because you were not ready," Krysta said. "Do you remember why you came out here in the wilderness to begin with, secluding yourself from all your friends save myself?"

Aaron frowned in thought. "To become stronger."

"And?"

"And…" he sighed. "Because I felt everyone was getting too dependent on me. That they could never become heroes on their own if I was always there to save them. I left so that they could learn to depend on themselves and become champions of justice and freedom on their own."

Krysta nodded. "Precisely."

"But," said Aaron. "Considering that so many towns have been destroyed while I was gone and so many lives have been lost, it looks as if I was wrong to leave, wasn't I?"

Krysta sighed in exasperation. "Aaron, if you had stayed or tried to help those towns, you would have died."

Aaron paused. "Really?"

"Yes! It's only in the last few months that your training has allowed you to become as powerful as you are now. If you had tried to intervene before this point, there's a good chance you could have lost and died. And if you died, Aaron, then there would be no hope for any of us," Krysta said fervently. "You are one of the last Aura Guardians, Aaron. Without you, we would all be doomed."

"Hmm." Aaron frowned. He couldn't help but be skeptical. Even if he had gotten a lot stronger fairly recently, he'd still been _very_ powerful before that. He found it hard to believe he couldn't have made a difference if he'd tried to help back then. Still, the past was past, and there was nothing he could do to change what had already happened. "How have the barbarians become so strong?"

"They are being backed by a shadowy power which is not only making them stronger…but convincing them to work together," Krysta said ominously.

Aaron started. "What?! Impossible! Barbarians hate each other, they would never agree to work together! That is one of the only things that has allowed us to defeat them time and time again, their lack of trust in each other and the desire to conquer all of Kanjohenn without compromise!"

"Their greed and appetite for power is stronger than their hatred of each other. They have agreed to work together to conquer the continent, with the help of their mysterious benefactor, and then they will turn on each other and tear the region apart in their battle for ultimate dominance," Krysta explained.

Aaron frowned, unhappily admitting this made all too much sense. "Is this united barbarian force the threat you mentioned?"

Krysta shook her head. "Yes and no. The barbarian horde is a front of sorts being formed by the true evil who seeks to destroy this world. He has bound them together so that they will crush Pokemon Square, which must not happen under any circumstances, for if Pokemon Square is destroyed, then so is our world."

Aaron started at this information. "Truly? Hmm…I've always known there was something special about Pokemon Square, but I did not know it was _that_ important. How will destroying the town destroy the world?"

"That is something you must discover for yourself," Krysta said cryptically, causing him to grunt in annoyance. He hated it when she acted all mysterious. Just because she was a thousand years old didn't mean she could pretend to be wise and all-knowing…though she seemed to be pretty good at it sometimes. "However, the destruction of Pokemon Square is not all this villain seeks. Even now, he is attempting to awaken an ancient evil whose power threatens not just this world, but all of creation. That is not your concern, however. Another group of heroes has formed to try and prevent this from happening."

Aaron frowned. "Other heroes…anyone I know?"

Krysta smiled. "Yes, actually. You saw them almost a year ago, when they journeyed here to see me. Ash and Pikachu Thunderblade, of Team Aurabolt."

Aaron smirked. "Ash and Pikachu, huh?" Almost a year ago, when a meteor had been hurtling towards the Earth, Aaron had noticed the son of his old friend Raiki and a young, unfamiliar Lucario traveling to Mt. Freeze, seeking the aid of Krysta in clearing up a grave misunderstanding, much like Aaron himself had once or twice over the years. He had sensed Ash's arrival in the world the instant he had appeared, the changed human's powerful life force sending out ripples of energy across the globe that Aaron had detected at once. There was strong Aura in the boy. Aaron had considered returning to Pokemon Square to help educate Ash in the ways of Aura, but Krysta had convinced him that the former human needed to discover more of how his new powers worked on his own first before a proper teacher could educate him further. Aaron reluctantly admitted that this made some sense, since he had actually learned quite a lot about Aura on his own before ever receiving formal instruction or obtaining _Secrets of an Aura Master,_ even one or two things that hadn't been written in the ancient text. (He had made sure to add them to the tome, though, for the benefit of future Aura Guardians.) He understood how sometimes a person could benefit more and exceed their limits if nobody told them what those limits were to begin with. So, reluctantly, he had observed Ash from afar and continued his training, promising he would teach the boy another day. "A Thunderblade and a Lucario…sounds familiar. I don't suppose they have a Psychic with them too?"

Krysta shook her head. "No, they've had a lot of trouble getting a permanent third member for their team. That may change in time, though…"

Aaron shrugged, knowing that if Krysta felt like enlightening him further, she would do it eventually and at her own pace, no matter how inconvenient it might be for him or anyone else. "Very well. So if I shouldn't worry myself with this looming ancient evil that could destroy all of existence, what _am_ I supposed to be doing?"

"Protecting Pokemon Square," Krysta replied. "As I said before, if it is destroyed, then so is the world. You must prevent that from happening. And also…" She frowned gravely. "There is a chance that Ash and Pikachu will fail in their quest. After all, they have great potential, but are still young and unaware of their full powers."

"That might not have been the case if you had let me go back to train Ash earlier…" Aaron muttered under his breath.

Krysta pretended she hadn't heard him. "Your friends back in Pokemon Square are attempting to summon the Guardian of Light to aid them, for if the evil is awakened, only she will be able to save us."

Aaron's eyebrows rose in surprise. "Summoning the Guardian of Light? One of Arceus' mightiest champions? I did not know that was possible for mortals such as we."

"There are ways to do just about anything if you know how, Aaron," Krysta said with a smile. "However, without your strong Aura, their spell will fail. You are needed to complete the summoning, along with the other ingredients they are attempting to gather even as we speak."

Aaron nodded. "Then I must go back to Pokemon Square to protect my friends and home from the upcoming barbarian attack, and to help them summon the Guardian of Light to save us all should Ash and Pikachu fail in their quest. Anything else?"

"Yes, actually." Krysta swung her tails in front of her, grabbed all nine of them by the tips in her mouth, and bit off a few hairs, which she placed in Aaron's paw. "These hairs will help the spell go more smoothly, and make sure nothing goes wrong. A lot can happen to a person when they are traveling between universes, even if they are legendary hero-gods. You will need all the power you can get to make sure she arrives safely."

"Ninetales tail hairs…" he murmured in astonishment, awed by the incredible magical power he could sense from the nine slender golden hairs in his hand. "An unexpected and unsurpassable gift…" He grinned wryly. "And I didn't get you anything, either."

"Oh, I'm sure we can remedy that easily," Krysta purred seductively as she sauntered over, brushing her tails against his side. "After all, you've no reason to hurry. The barbarians won't be ready to attack for quite some time, and your friends have only just began to prepare the summoning spell. There's no reason you can't dally for a few hours…" She grinned savagely. "Or days."

Aaron frowned. "I probably shouldn't." He wove the nine hairs together and wrapped them around his staff, then placed the staff on the ground along with his hat and framed picture. "But I'm going to anyway, aren't I?"

"Obviously," Krysta said, tackling him to the ground.

Passionate lovemaking ensued. Naturally.

…

"Do you fear me?" the Shadow asked Gardevoir abruptly.

She started. "W-what?"

"Do you fear me?" it repeated.

"No," she lied.

"You're lying," it said. She flushed. "Good. You should be afraid of me."

Gardevoir looked away, not wanting to see her own face reflected in the villain's mask. "How big _is_ this place, anyway?" It felt like they'd been descending in this small, cramped elevator for several minutes now.

"Big enough for you to never see the light of day again," the Shadow replied calmly. The elevator's descent gradually slowed and came to a stop. "Here we are."

The doors slid open to reveal a long, gray corridor with thick metal doors lining the walls on both sides, and a single, larger door at the far end. Horrific screams and weeping could be heard from behind the doors, as well as lots of cruel, maniacal giggling and laughter. Gardevoir flinched. "What is this place?"

"One of our deepest dungeons and your new home," the Shadow explained, leading her out of the elevator. The doors slid silently shut behind them with ominous finality.

"Wh-why is there so much screaming?" she asked nervously.

"Because every prisoner here is either being currently tortured, mutilated, beaten, and/or raped by one of my Nihilators, or they are constantly hooked up to machines which cause them to suffer incredible agony every second of every day so that their torment never ends," the Shadow explained.

Gardevoir was disgusted. "What did they do to deserve this?"

"Absolutely nothing," the Shadow replied. "Did I mention that they're all children?"

Gardevoir's jaw dropped. "Ch-children?! You can't be serious!"

"I always am," the Shadow said, sounding almost amused, a most uncharacteristic evil grin on the face reflected in its mask. "Most of our members are recruited from your typical malcontents and societal outcasts, but there are only so many of those in the world. To bolster our numbers, we've had to take some rather…unorthodox measures. Such as cloning, or capturing women to serve as breeding stock then accelerating the growth of their children so that they can become capable soldiers just a few days after being born."

"That's disgusting," Gardevoir said, sickened.

"Oh, it gets worse," the Shadow chuckled, unnerving Gardevoir further, because she _never_ sounded like that. "We also abduct children from their homes and train them to be members of our army through brainwashing, torture, and very painful conditioning. Those who successfully complete their training murder their families—who we also captured, and held hostage just for that purpose—then join our ranks as full-fledged Nihilators, while those who fail or resist are imprisoned in places like this and made to suffer for the rest of their lives. Many of them last _decades_ before finally dying…of course, even then, they're still not free, not since we discovered how to trap people's souls a few centuries ago so that we can continue studying and _playing _with them to our heart's content. And yes, we've been around that long, we're a very powerful secret society, as you must have realized by now."

Gardevoir just gaped at him, aghast at the being who called itself Oblivion's Shadow. Every time she thought it had proven itself to be the most evil person she'd ever met, it topped himself in cruelty. "I-I don't understand…why…why are you doing this? What benefit can you possibly gain from causing so much suffering and pain to so many innocent people? Why are you trying to open a forbidden door and destroy the world? What do you want with me? What is the point of it all?!"

That seemed to give it pause for a moment. "…I don't suppose you'd believe me if I told you that it's all part of a complicated plan that will ultimately benefit the Omniverse as a whole, even though it means a few universes might be blown up in the process?"

"No!" she cried indignantly.

It shrugged. "I guess I won't tell you, then." It turned and glided down the hall. Reluctantly, Gardevoir followed it. She caught up to it just as it finished doing something to a panel next to the door at the far end of the corridor, the door sliding open as she approached. "Welcome to your new home," it said, gesturing to the room on the other side of the portal.

Gardevoir cautiously poked her head into the chamber…and was surprised to find, rather than a dark, cramped, lonely cell full of chains or torture devices, a palatial suite with plush carpeted floors, a four-poster bed with a canopy woven of Wurmple silk, magnificent paintings and tapestries lining the walls, several bookshelves crammed with rare and fascinating texts, a dumbwaiter, a flat-screen television set in one wall, a computer, a music player, and a number of other surprisingly luxurious amenities. "I don't understand," she said, very confused.

"You're too valuable a prisoner to keep in a cell like the others," the Shadow explained, guiding her into the room. "And since you're basically nothing more than a sacrificial Mareep, I saw no reason not to make your last days alive comfortable…especially because you might be inadequate for our goals if something should happen to you or you should suffer any…mistreatment. Yes, I am going to kill you eventually, if you haven't figured that out already, but not for a while yet, so you can relax until then." It glanced at her. "I wouldn't recommend killing yourself to keep us from using you in our plans, by the way. Your headgear is constantly monitoring your thoughts and biochemistry, and will cause you to automatically black out the instant it senses you doing something you shouldn't to your body."

"What's to stop me from just taking it off?" she asked.

"Because if you do, it will trigger devices I've planted in all the children outside, causing them to die immediately and agonizingly," it replied, much to her horror. "The same thing will happen if you attempt to leave this room without an escort or if you make any attempt whatsoever to escape."

"You're holding their lives hostage to ensure my good behavior!?" she asked angrily.

The Shadow shrugged. "You seemed perfectly willing to let us hold Misty's life hostage, so I see no reason why not."

"But you've sentenced Misty to death!" she retorted.

"Yes, but only because we don't need her," the Shadow replied.

"And you need to keep children tortured 24 hours a day?!" she asked incredulously.

"Yes," it said matter-of-factly.

"WHY?!"

It shrugged. "I already told you why, but you didn't believe me." As she gawked at him in disbelief, it headed for the door. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have more important things to do. I'm going to leave this room unlocked and unguarded, both because we have security cameras and all sorts of other sensors watching you every minute, but also because I know you're such a bleeding heart that you won't leave if you know it'll kill all the children outside here."

"Ash and Pikachu will find you," she said angrily as the Shadow turned to leave. "Your ghost will fail to stop them. They'll find all the Star Badges then come here to rescue us and put you down like the monster you are."

Much to her surprise, it laughed. "My dear," it said dryly. "You don't think I know that? I know full well there's a good chance that they'll survive Bellum and find a way to this base, despite how impossible it would appear to be. After all, they possess the map, and if they collect enough Star Badges it will eventually lead them here, to the one we already possess. So if they want to save you and prevent me from destroying the world, they'll have to come here eventually. If Ash is as resourceful as I remember him to be, I know that he can be counted on to get here somehow. And when he does, I'll be ready."

Gardevoir's eyes widened. "As you remember him to…WAIT! How do you know-" It left. The door closed behind it. Her shoulders slumped. With a sigh of despair, she walked over to the bed and sat down on it. It was very soft and comfortable, which made her feel horribly guilty since she doubted the children in the cells outside her room had anything nearly as nice to sleep on. "What am I supposed to do now?" she murmured to herself, feeling very alone, and very hopeless.

She was unaware that somewhere else in the Nihilators' headquarters, another prisoner, one under even heavier guard than Gardevoir, had become aware of her presence, and was watching her closely. _My friend,_ he communicated to his secret ally outside the base. _I think the time we have been waiting for is swiftly approaching. Someone has just arrived which may tip the balance in our favor._

_Are you certain?_ His friend replied cautiously. _We still have so few on our side. We're not ready._

_We will have to be ready, and soon, _the prisoner replied. _Because time is running out, for all of us. If we do not act soon, everything we have been working for will be for naught._

The friend sighed. _I suppose you are right. Then you will contact this newcomer?_

_I will. She may be just who we're looking for…_

...

Meanwhile, in Pokemon Square…

In a dark room underneath his bank, Giovanni looked around at the faces of his subordinates, either there in the room with him or communicating over plasma screens from other places all over the globe. "Team Rocket Elite, sound off!"

One by one, the highest-ranking members of Giovanni's clandestine secret organization, Team Rocket, identified themselves from their various locations either in the room or from around the world. "Domino, the Black Tulip, here, sir," a very sexy black Roserade with blond hair said from beside her Boss.

"Vicious, here, sir," a Tyranitar wearing a rather fearsome iron mask grunted from one of the large screens. The background of the secret location where he was transmitting from looked like the interior of a mountain or volcano.

"Tyson, here, sir," squawked a Fearow, also from a screen, transmitting from some distant forest.

"Professor Sebastian and Doctor Nancy-" a Krabby with glasses appearing on a monitor in what appeared to be a large and busy laboratory started, until the partly bald Electabuzz standing next to him shouted, "IT'S NAMBA!"

The Krabby sweatdropped. "Er, right. Sebastian and Namba reporting in, sir."

"Annie-" started an Espeon.

"And Oakley!" finished an Ariados, both of them appearing on the same screen, transmitting from somewhere in a beautiful and incredibly opulent mansion.

"Reporting in, sir!" they chorused.

"Atilla and Hun, here, sir!" grunted a Skarmory and Steelix sitting nearby. (Yes, the Steelix fit in the basement. It was very cramped.)

"Cassidy and Boris-" started a Houndour with odd ponytails seated next to Attila and Hun, until her partner interrupted her.

"It's BUTCH!" the Primeape sitting next to her shouted angrily. "And we're here, sir!"

Giovanni nodded. "Very good. Now that we're all here, we can-"

"Wait, isn't someone missing?" Domino asked suddenly.

Tyson glanced around the room. "Hey yeah, where are those losers?"

Giovanni groaned and put his face in a paw. "Dammit, I told them to be on time today…where are they this time?!"

"WAAAAAIIIIIT!" three voices shouted desperately. The other Rockets groaned in exasperation as a Meowth, a Mime Jr., and a rather hideous Dustox ran into the room. "Don't start without us!"

Giovanni sighed and glared at the trio. "Jessie. James. Micky. You're late. AGAIN. Where were you this time?"

They immediately stood to attention, or tried to. "We were stuck in a closet, Uncle—uh, I mean Boss!" the Meowth said.

"Yes, and we only just got out of there!" the Mime Jr. added.

"It was all their fault!" the Dustox snarled, whacking the other two with her wings.

Giovanni scowled as the other Rockets snickered. "James, Micky, were you making out on company time again?"

"No, sir!" the Meowth and Mime Jr. yelled frantically, making it quite clear that that was, in fact, what they had been doing. The Dustox shook her head in frustration.

Giovanni growled. "Micky, I told you that you could have a boyfriend and date a coworker so long as you didn't let a relationship distract you from your responsibilities to your family and to our organization. If being on a team with James is going to keep resulting in incidents like this, I'm going to have to send him out in the field. Far away from here. With Attila and Hun."

Micky and James gasped, and Attila and Hun gave Giovanni horrified looks. "What?! You can't stick him with us!" the Steelix protested. "We're two of your best agents, we don't deserve to get saddled with a dweeb like James!"

"They'd eat me alive!" James squealed, shivering in fright.

"He's right, we probably would," Attila agreed.

Cassidy snickered. "This is why you shouldn't have romance in the workplace!"

Butch blinked. "Uh, but Cassidy, I thought we were-" She glared at him and he shut up.

"If he was going to get into a relationship, why couldn't it have been with me?" Jessie grumbled enviously under her breath. She had an unrequited crush on James, and was more than a little peeved that he turned out to be gay and in love with Micky, the Boss's nephew, instead of her. What did Micky have that she didn't, other than a cute face and an inheritance worth millions of Poke'?!

"I will overlook your irresponsibility _this_ time," Giovanni growled. "But if this happens again, I assure you I will carry through on your threat."

"Isn't that what you said the last ten times they-" Vicious started, only for Giovanni to give him a bloodthirsty look, and he shut up.

"So, uh, did we miss anything?" Jessie asked as she, James, and Micky sat down around the table, trying to stay as far away from Attila or Hun as they possibly could.

"Thankfully, no," Giovanni said. "We were just finishing roll call and about to check in on the status of the assignments I've sent our best operatives on. All of you, report, how are your missions going?"

"So far, so good, sir," Vicious reported. "I've managed to endear myself to the Monkey King, though to do so I had to do things that…that I'm going to regret doing for a long time. I still haven't found out his invasion plans, other than him somehow planning a multi-pronged attack on Pokemon Square with the help of a bunch of the other biggest warlords on the continent."

James gulped. "That doesn't sound good…"

"Relax, James, the shield wall will keep them out," Jessie reassured James.

"Until it falls, like Sabrina prophesized it would," Cassidy said with wicked glee.

Jessie, Micky, and James paled. "Aw, crap…"

"Uh, Cass, that probably isn't something we should be excited about," Butch said.

She blinked. "Oh, right…"

"Not good…nothing like this has ever happened before…" Sebastian murmured, clacking his pincers together anxiously.

"Yeah, since when do those barbarian dickheads want to work with each other?" Annie agreed. "Typical, we can't count on them to do anything right, even disagree with each other properly!"

"A lot of things are happening which have never happened before," Giovanni said grimly. "And many, if not all of them, are being caused by the same thing…Have you found anything else out yet, Vicious?"

The Tyranitar shook his head. "No sir, but I'm working on it. I just need more time."

"Very well. And how about you, Tyson?" Giovanni asked the Fearow.

"Same as Vicious, sir," the bird reported. "I've managed to endear myself to the rest of Redwing's flock, but he doesn't trust me enough to let me know much about the details of the alliance he's got going on with the other warlords. I'm going to need some more time too, sir. I'm pretty sure I can win him over with a little charm."

"Something you're sorely lacking," Domino said dryly, causing Annie and Oakley to giggle and Tyson to glare at her.

"Speaking of charm…Annie, Oakley, have you managed to win Lawrence III over to our cause yet?" Giovanni asked the sisters.

Oakley shook her head. "No sir. He seems to be rather disinterested in taking any sides at all in the coming conflict. He also seems to be somewhat immune to our feminine wiles."

Annie snorted. "If I didn't know better, I'd say he was gayer than your neph…er, than this year's latest hip boy band," she altered her statement quickly when Giovanni started to growl warningly and Micky blinked.

"Well, keep at it," Giovanni said. "If you are unable to seduce him, then steal his airship and bring it back to base. We need air support much more than we need money, at the moment." He frowned. "And speaking of giant machines…Sebastian, Nega-"

"IT'S NAMBA!" Doctor Namba yelled. "Er, sir. If you don't mind."

"How is progress going on Project TT?" Giovanni asked the scientists.

"TT? What's that?" James wondered.

Micky rolled his eyes. "Haven't you been paying any attention to da briefings?"

"No," James confessed. "I was too busy staring into your eyes from afar."

Micky blushed. "Awww, Jimmy-"

Jessie turned red with anger and green with jealousy. At the same time. It didn't go well with her already poor complexion. The other Rockets, who could hear this exchange loud and clear, rolled their eyes. "Did we ever act like that when we were young and in love?" a doubtful Hun asked Attila.

"No," the Skarmory replied, and that was the end of that.

"Why don't you ever stare into my eyes from afar?" Cassidy asked Butch, who sweatdropped.

"Oh, uh, I do it all the time," he lied very quickly. "They're a very nice shade of…uh…what color are your eyes again?" Cassidy's face turned red, and she angrily set Butch on fire.

As the Primeape ran around screaming, flames trailing from his form, Giovanni put his face in his paws. "Is this an elite underground organization dedicated to taking over the world, or the cast of a sitcom or soap opera?" he muttered to himself.

"Which one?" asked Domino.

"I think we'd fit in well on _Chums_, if there weren't so many of us," Vicious commented.

"Ooh, I love that show!" Annie squealed. "Wasn't the series finale to die for?! Who knew Ross and Rachel were going to get back together?"

Hun nodded in agreement. "Yeah, she's way too good for him-"

"WILL ALL OF YOU QUIT ACTING LIKE IDIOTS AND BEHAVE LIKE MATURE ADULTS ALREADY?!" Giovanni roared at the top of his lungs.

"Uh, Uncle Giovanni, Jessie, James and I aren't technically-" Micky foolishly started.

"Micky, if you finish that sentence, I'm cutting you off from your inheritance. Permanently," the Persian growled.

"Meep," Micky said, shutting up.

Giovanni counted to ten to calm himself down. "Now. Sebastian, Naga-"

"IT'S-" Namba started.

"WHAT IS THE PROGRESS ON PROJECT TT?" Giovanni shouted.

Unnerved, the scientists quickly made their report. "Construction on TT is going according to schedule," Sebastian said timidly. "Though we're getting a little low on the materials we need to make the hull super-strong."

"Attila, Hun, go and negotiate with the Steel-types who've taken up residence in Meteor Cave when we're done here and try and obtain some more meteor ore for Sebastian," Giovanni ordered the metal team, who nodded in the affirmative.

"I've managed to complete the Crystal system we can use to absorb attacks and power TT, but I haven't been able to find a Pokemon de-evolution frequency yet. I've already found the one for evolution, and we can use it to strengthen our troops, but I've so far been unable to find a counter we can use to weaken our enemies," Sebastian continued. "So far, the best I can do is make a high-pitched noise which hurts everyone's ears and causes some degree of physical pain, for friend or foe alike."

"Hmm, maybe we could convert that into some sort of sonic weapon to bring our enemies to their knees…and supply earmuffs to our troops to keep them shielded," Giovanni mused. "Are most of the other weapon systems operational yet?"

"Not quite," said Namba, pulling out a list. "I'm close to a few breakthroughs, but I'm going to need some additional data to complete my designs. I'll need someone to capture a few specimens for me so that I can examine their biology and figure out how to replicate certain Pokemon attacks through mechanical means."

Giovanni nodded. "Very well, I'll have Bitch and Cassidy-"

"IT'S BUTCH!" Butch yelled.

"Get on it," Giovanni finished. "What Pokemon do you require?"

Namba glanced at his list. "Let's see…I need a Drowzee, someone who has Pokerus, a Delcatty, an Aerodactyl, a Luvdisc, and a Hippowdon. I may need a couple others later, but those are the ones I specifically need right now."

Cassidy sweatdropped. "How're we supposed to capture all of those Pokemon?!"

Namba shrugged. "That's your problem, not mine."

"With all of those attacks, it sounds like TT, whatever it is, is going to be almost unstoppable!" commented an impressed Jessie. "We could conquer the world with something like that!"

"That's the idea," Giovanni agreed. "Or defend it from a far greater threat…speaking of which; Attila, Hun, tell everyone else what your current reconnaissance on the whereabouts of the Legendary Pokemon has found out."

The Steel-types sobered. "We got news, all right…but it's not very good," Attila grunted.

Hun nodded in agreement. "They're gone."

The other Rockets gave the duo confused (and alarmed) looks. "What do you mean, 'gone?'" Tyson demanded.

"I mean gone. As in, they're not there. As in, the trackers we've planted on a few of them have stopped transmitting and none of the spotters we've placed around the globe have seen several of them for months," Attila explained.

"We can't just blame it on migration or restlessness either, since most of the ones who are fairly sedentary or are supposed to be sealed in a particular area are gone as well," Hun said. "Groudon and Kyogre are no longer in their respective cages, all of the birds have flown the coop, the three dog/cat things aren't running about where anyone's seen 'em recently…"

"Latias, Latios, and Rayquaza are still here, though," Attila commented. "No clue why."

Hun nodded. "Yeah, and we're pretty sure that, while the Regis aren't in Buried Relic anymore, they're still out and about somewhere. Jirachi's no longer in Wish Cave, but that could just be because he went back to sleep for another thousand years. Celebi hasn't been seen recently, but since she's a time traveler, that's hardly a surprise."

"And Darkrai's been spotted here and there spreading nightmares, but Cressellia's oddly MIA," said Attila. "Which is odd, since usually where one goes, the other follows."

"That _is_ curious…" Namba murmured. "Those two are like Yin and Yang. Neither is complete without the other."

"In a romantic or metaphysical sense?" Domino asked, curious.

Namba shrugged. "Both, I guess."

"Awww," many of the more romantic Rockets in the room sighed, while everyone else rolled their eyes.

"You complete _me_, Micky," James told Micky.

The Meowth teared up. "Oh, Jimmy!" He hugged the Mime Jr.

"Oh, brother," Jessie gagged. Giovanni started pounding his head against the table.

"Er…getting back on track…Cressellia's absence is especially troubling because without her, there are far fewer good dreams in the world," Sebastian pointed out.

"Like, yeah, how'm I supposed to sleep well without good dreams?" Annie whined. "How'm I supposed to keep these flawless good looks if I get nothing but nightmares?"

"Ooh! Maybe that's why my beauty sleep hasn't been paying off lately!" Jessie said.

"No, dat's because you're so far gone no amount of sleep could make _you_ beautiful," Micky joked, causing James and several other Rockets to snicker.

"You-!" Jessie turned red with rage. "I don't need Darkrai to make your life a never-ending nightmare!" She proceeded to beat the crap out of him.

"WAAAHHH! Uncle Gio, help!" Micky wailed.

"Maybe later," Giovanni said distractedly.

"What of Heatran and Shaymin? Any sign of them?" Vicious asked.

"No," said Hun.

"But then again, nobody's seen those two for centuries, so that might not mean anything," Attila pointed out.

"The Savior's probe has also disappeared, but since he was just stopping by to see how we were doing, he probably just returned to space," Hun continued. "Oh, and Manaphy's still been occasionally seen here and there with some Phione by fishermon and deep-sea Pokemon. Guess _they_ don't want him…"

"Heh, can you blame them?" Butch snorted.

"Regigigas is still sealed in his tomb," Attila said. "Last time we checked, anyway."

"That's a relief," Tyson muttered. "If _that_ thing were to be unleashed upon the world, I'm not sure even Project TT could stop it."

"Ha! Of course it could!" Namba scoffed. "…Well, after Biff and Cassidy have gotten me the data I need to complete it, that is."

"IT'S BUTCH!" Butch shouted.

"Do you have any idea who or what is responsible for all these disappearances?" Oakley asked. "How do we know it's not just some big Legendary vacation or whatever, and our enemy has nothing to do with it?"

Attila sighed. "I'll tell you why. Just the other week, we were keeping tabs on Raikou, one of the last to vanish. He was running around like crazy, trying to find his siblings, going from place to place all over the world. I tell you, we had a hell of a time keeping up with him, what with him being able to move as fast as lightning and all."

"Fortunately, the tracker we put on him helped us follow him around," Hun said. "Until suddenly, he stopped moving on our sensors…and then started rising into the air! We arrived at his location just in time to see an airship fly up into the sky and disappear. It was Hunter J's ship, no doubt about it!"

Many of the other Rockets gasped at this. "Not that Hunter Hussie!" Jessie cried.

"That bitch will always work for the highest-paying customer!" Domino snarled. "They must be paying her big time to capture as many Legends as she can for…whatever it is they're planning. It's nothing good, though, I can tell you that much."

"Were you able to tell where the ship was going?" Vicious asked the Steel duo.

They shook their heads. "J must have found and destroyed the tracker, because it stopped transmitting not long after Raikou got caught. Where they're taking him? Your guess is as good as mine. We're still no closer to finding their hideout than we were before," Attila said regretfully.

"Well, keep at it, the both of you," Giovanni said. "All our preparations will be meaningless if we can't tell where they're hiding. Otherwise, there's no way we'll be able to stop them from destroying the world before _we_ can take it over!"

Domino nodded in agreement. "That's right! Nobody can rule the world but us!"

"Team Rocket will prevail!" James squeaked optimistically.

Giovanni nodded. "And to ensure that happens…Vicious. Tyson. Annie. Oakley. Sebastian. Naka-"

"IT'S NAMBA!" Namba shouted.

"Continue your assignments and inform me of any changes," Giovanni ordered. "Cassidy and Bill-"

"IT'S BUTCH!" Butch yelled.

"Once you and your team have collected the specimens Naldo needs-" Giovanni started.

"IT'S NAMBA!" Namba shouted. Again.

Giovanni sighed in exasperation. "Once you've gotten the specimens, I want you to remain on hand at out secret research facility to assist them in completing Project TT. This takes top priority over anything else the two of you already have planned, so finish any side projects and responsibilities and get cracking on this immediately."

Cassidy blinked. "But sir, what about the daycare?"

Butch nodded in agreement. "Yeah, if we're not there, all the mommies and daddies in town are going to have to take care of their obnoxious brats on their own! And they'll come complaining to us about it!" Butch and Cassidy ran the Pokemon Square Daycare Center. It was both a convenient source of income and a cover that allowed them to indoctrinate the offspring of the town's leading citizens and greatest warriors into Team Rocket, so that once Giovanni conquered the world, the little ones would support the regime change, over their parent's objections. Butch hated the job, since he didn't get along well with the kids. And they were getting his name wrong on purpose, he was sure of it! Lousy little snot-nosed…

"Tell your clients you're taking a brief leave of absence. Like a second honeymoon," Giovanni suggested.

"Uh, we're not married," Butch said.

Giovanni shrugged. "Your first honeymoon, then. You could even tell them you're pregnant, for all I care, just so long as you get the mission done."

Cassidy flushed. "But I'm not—I mean, we've talked about it, but—"

"I do _not_ want a kid, not after having to put up with all those _evil_ tykes day in and day out!" Butch said angrily.

Giovanni sighed in exasperation. "Well, come up with _something_. This is more important than your day job! It's the fate of the world, remember?" The duo grumbled, but reluctantly acquiesced. They didn't really have a choice, after all. "Now, Attila, Hun, after you've obtained the materials needed to resume construction of Project TT, I want you to continue your search for the lair of our enemies. If you can't find it, then try to find J, if they've been employing her to capture the Legendaries for them she might have some idea of where they've been taken to."

The Steel-types nodded. "No problem, Boss," said Attila.

"We'll show that bitch a thing or two…" Hun growled.

"MY NAME IS BUTCH!" Butch yelled.

"I wasn't talking about you," said Hun.

"Oh," Butch said, embarrassed.

"I will remain here and continue coordinating worldwide operations, assisted by Domino," Giovanni said. A couple of the Rockets grumbled and mentally complained about how they had to do all the dirty work while Giovanni got to sit at home with a hot babe, but said nothing about it to their leader's face.

"What about us, Boss?" James asked.

"Yeah, do we have an assignment, too?" Micky asked hopefully.

"We want to help save the world so we can rule it as well!" Jessie said eagerly.

The other Rockets laughed at the sheer ridiculousness of this request. "The day you three get a serious mission, Jessie, is the day I become a vegan!" Cassidy taunted.

"Why don't you say that to my face, Cassidy?!" Jessie snarled.

Cassidy blinked. "I just did."

Jessie paused. "Oh…right…" Everyone else sweatdropped.

"Actually, as it turns out, I _do_ have a mission for you three," Giovanni said suddenly, much to the astonishment of everyone else. Jessie, James and Micky were the most incompetent members of Team Rocket, and the rest of their unit wasn't much better! The only reason Giovanni tolerated them was because Micky was his nephew, James was Micky's boyfriend, and Jessie…well, he didn't really have an excuse for Jessie. What job could he possibly have for them?! "One of great importance."

The three idiots jumped for joy while the other Rockets exchanged stunned looks. "Hooray! I knew all our hard work and butt-kissing would pay off someday!" James cheered happily.

"At this rate we'll be the tops in no time!" Jessie cried ecstatically.

"What d'you want us ta do, Uncle Boss?" Micky asked excitedly.

Giovanni gave the trio a very serious look. "I have reason to believe that Ash of Team Aurabolt may be a…person of interest for our enemy, and not just because he's looking for the same mystical artifacts as they are or trying to take them down just like us, either. I want the three of you to take your team and go after him to the Sinnorre region. Follow him and keep an eye on him, but do not engage him or any of his teammates for any reason. It would not do for a prominent Rescue Team leader like Ash to know of our existence, not until it is too late for him to stop us, anyway. Do I make myself clear?"

The trio saluted. "Yes, sir!" Jessie cried.

"You can count on us, Boss!" James said.

"We'll make you proud, Uncle Boss!" Micky said.

"I'm sure you will," Giovanni said absently, patting Micky on the head. "Now, go round up your team and tell them the news while I finish up here."

"Right!" The trio left the room.

"Uh, was that such a good idea, sir?" Tyson asked awkwardly. "I mean, they…uh…"

"They're, like, totally clueless and incompetent," Annie said.

"Annie!" Oakley hissed.

"Well, they are! Even if one of them is his nephew," Annie pointed out.

"Seriously, I can't believe you gave a mission that important to Jessie!" Cassidy ranted. "I mean, she's so stupid! And ugly! Oh, I hate her I hate her I hate her!"

Butch sweatdropped and awkwardly patted Cassidy on the shoulder. "Uh, there, there…"

"I'm sure Master Giovanni had a good reason for his decision," Domino said sternly. She paused and glanced at the Persian. "Uh, you do, right?"

Giovanni smirked. "Of course I do. Their mission is nothing but a wild goose chase to keep them out of our fur. If they stay here they'll inevitably screw something up and cause all our plans to fail. By sending them as far away from here as possible, I ensure that when they inevitably do something moronically boneheaded--as they are wont to--it will have little effect on us. If anything, it might actually hinder our enemies…assuming they actually run into them."

"But sir, if they _do_ encounter our enemy, isn't there a chance they could…you know, die?" Tyson pointed out.

Attila laughed. "Those three? They're too stupid to die!"

"He may have a point, I've done some calculations which might indicate that-" Sebastian started, but nobody really cared.

"Well, it's just, you know, Micky's your nephew," Tyson continued. "Your heir and all that. Is it a good idea to send him out on something that could be a suicide mission?"

Giovanni shrugged. "If he dies, I get the money his parents left for him. Plus, I'll be free to get a new heir…one who actually has a brain, with any luck."

They stared at him. "Dude, that's cold," said an impressed Hun.

"Nice!" Attila agreed.

"Totally," Annie and Oakley agreed.

"Pretty ruthless," Vicious said with grudging admiration.

"This is why he's the Boss," Namba speculated. "Since he's willing to make sacrifices others might balk at."

"Though they're generally everybody else's sacrifices rather than his own…" Butch muttered, still not entirely happy with his and Cassidy's current assignment. Well, not just the assignment, but how much his clients would harangue him for forcing them to take care of their own children.

Giovanni frowned. "Is that what you think, Borat?"

"IT'S BUTCH!" Butch yelled.

"I've made more sacrifices to get this far than you can possibly imagine," Giovanni continued, rather coldly. "As the good Doctor said-"

"IT'S NA-" Namba started, then realized Giovanni hadn't actually said his name, so quieted down.

"I am willing to make sacrifices others might balk at to do what needs to be done," Giovanni continued. "If it requires throwing away the lives of those close to me, then so be it. After all…" His eyes narrowed. "When it comes to the fate of the world, everyone is expendable. Even myself." He shifted and rose from his seat. "Now, if there are no further questions, I think it best if we adjourn this meeting and get to our respective assignments as soon as possible. The clock is ticking, ladies and gentlemen. Time is running out for Team Rocket and for the world."

Once everyone had signed off or left the room, Giovanni turned to Domino, who was the only one still there other than himself. "Domino, I want you to assign someone trustworthy to follow my nephew and his friends and make sure they don't run into any trouble that they can't get themselves out of in their typical bungling manner, if you know what I mean."

Domino's face broke into a smile. "Awww, you really do care, don't you?"

"Not really, no," Giovanni said. "I find Micky rather abhorrent…but still, family's family, and right now, he's the only bit of that I have left."

She gently placed a blossom on his shoulder. "Maybe someday there'll be more."

"Yes," Giovanni agreed obliviously. "Though we'll have to work out a surrogate, seeing as how there's no way Micky's going to get any eggs out of that dwarf clown, no matter how feminine he is."

Domino facefaulted. Sometimes the brightest Pokemon in the world could be unimaginably dense…

…

Some people, when put under incredible duress and hopelessness, were able to retreat to a small, happy place in their mind, a blissful memory or fantasy where they could shield themselves from the incredibly bleak reality that was their lives until situations changed for the better. In this matter they could preserve some fraction of their sanity and keep from breaking completely under the strain of their torment.

Misty did not have one of those happy places. It wasn't that she'd never been happy in her life, but most of her happiest memories were from very early in her life, and the majority of those had become tainted by the horrific situation that had changed her life forever and left her with a permanent fear of bugs and more than a few psychological scars. And even after the trauma was over and she had rejoined her family and gotten some semblance of a normal life back, it had been really, really hard to find anything to be happy about. She hadn't been emo or anything, she just had never been able to really look at anything nice or joyful without thinking about how easily it could be destroyed and how fragile happiness and life really were. She had become withdrawn from everyone, even her sisters (not like that was hard), partly to avoid getting into a relationship that could get broken, and partly for…other reasons.

When she had become friends with Ash, Pikachu, and Gardevoir, things had changed. She had started to loosen up and open her heart. To actually begin to feel again.

And then she got captured and tortured by the Nihilators, and she knew she had been a fool to think her life was actually getting any better. The universe hated her, and didn't want her to be happy. And on some level, she was starting to think she didn't deserve to be happy, either. Why else would she be covered in mechanical spiders, on the verge of losing what little was left of her sanity, being dragged to the laboratory of a sadistic mad scientist who happened to be an even bigger and more monstrous mechanical spider? (Well, partially mechanical, but you get the point.)

"So, you had an accident in your past zat left you terrified of Bug-types, yez?" the Doctor asked conversationally as they skittered down the hallways of the Nihilators' fortress. "I know vat zat iz like…oh yez, I am sure you are vondering, 'But Doctor, how can you possibly underztand, you are a Bug too!' Ah, but you zee Fraulein, not all Bugs are very nice to each ozer. Indeed, sometimes ve can be very cruel to ozzer Bugs. Did you know zat my mozer decided I vas too weak to survive on my own, so tried to eat me? I lozt three of my legs, and many of my organs were crushed. I barely managed to escape with my life. But I survived, oh yes, I survived…" He paused and glanced down at his mostly metal form. "But zat isn't vhy I look like zis, no. Zat vas because of another, more painful accident. A betrayal from someone I called friend…"

He glanced over at her. "Not zat you vould know vat zat is like, vould you? A pretty thing like you must have lotz of friends and admirerz….heh. Let's see if zey'll still like you once I'm through with you." He laughed. "Vhatever trauma you experienced in ze past cannot have been so terrible, for you to have retained such good looks and a figure like zhat. Bah, ze universe seems to adore beautiful people, while ugly thingz such as I are swept into ze corners and forgotten…just like most of ze ozzer dregs of society who become Nihilators, since zey have nowhere else to go and nobody vants zem anywhere near their beauty. Perhaps you vill become one of us too. My assistant _loves_ making beautiful things hideous beyond recognition…maybe I will let him have some fun with you before I kill you. Assuming you survive my latest experiment, of course. Vat do you zink of zat, eh?"

She didn't say anything. Considering that she was covered in spiders, there wasn't anything she could say that wouldn't be a long, incoherent scream. The Doctor shrugged with all six legs then continued down the hallway, and Misty could not help but feel a tiny bit of triumph against the Ariados beneath her terror, for he had been wrong about one thing. Her past _had_ been that terrible, and more. Just because her scars weren't visible didn't mean they weren't there, or bone-deep.

Her little solace faded, though, once they reached the Doctor's lab. It was about what you'd expect from a mad scientist's laboratory, except even darker and scarier than any movie scientist's had ever been. It was uncomfortably dark and dim, so there were shadows everywhere in which all sorts of monstrosities created by the Doctor's experimentations could be lurking. There were tables and benches covered in complex scientific equipment, with fizzling beakers and tubes shunting poisonous-looking chemicals back and forth across the room, jars with grotesque and malformed organs or other biological specimens placed on shelves and looking for all the world like some kind of macabre collection of abnormal body parts, enormous machines that whirred and clicked and roared and made all sorts of fearsome noises as they worked and calculated towards some unseen end, dry-erase boards covered in complex equations and rather gruesome diagrams of dissected Pokemon, computers and monitors all hooked up to each other by cables snaking across the floor that flashed images and graphics across their screens too complicated for Misty to comprehend, and bodies. Oh yes, the bodies. There were dry, mummified husks of dead Pokemon all over the lab, mounted on walls, hanging from the ceiling, or just lying on tables. A few were even tossed in haphazard piles on the floor. All looked as if they had died horribly, and been thoroughly dissected, vivisected, experimented on, and all sorts of other obscenities before being discarded.

And the Doctor's mechanical spiders were everywhere, tidying things up, dusting, cleaning, operating the machinery and chemical equipment, making sure their master's experiments were working properly, pretty much what you would expect from an army of miniature robot helpers. Several were working together to load things several times their size into crates, and Misty recalled how the Doctor had said he had been preparing to depart for the 'Tree of Beginnings'—whatever that was—before coming to get her. As sickened and terrified as she was by the artificial insects—after all, she was covered in them—she could not help but be morbidly fascinated in how efficiently they operated, how they worked together in teams to accomplish tasks that a single spider could not, how they almost seemed to share a single mind rather than…rather than…

She shuddered and bit off that chain of thought. She would not think of that. Rather, she _could_ not, lest she break her hold on sanity again. She was balancing on a knife's edge already, barely managing to hold on despite everything, she could not afford to think of _that_, not here, not now. Trying to distract herself, she looked away from the machines…

And saw what the Doctor was keeping on his ceiling. And then she finally did scream, for it was covered in webs made of some sort of metallic thread (hardly a surprise, considering Tarantulas was a cyborg spider), with several dozen wiggling cocoons of the same material enmeshed in the webbing. The Doctor, startled by her scream, followed her gaze to the ceiling and broke into a terrifying grin. "Aw, you've noticed my larder. I don't actually need to drain ze fluids of my prey anymore, mainly due to ze vay my mechanized body vorks now, but my filters can adjust to it. And besides, it is ze act I enjoy more zan ze nourishment." He smirked at her horrified look. "Yes, I am zat twisted. Vould you like to join my future meals up zere once ve are done experimenting on you? You vill die much, _much_ slower zan Herr Shadow would like, but it vill certainly give you an _unforgettable_ experience. Do you know how we spiders feed, fraulein? How ve inject a numbing poison into our prey zen wrap zem up in a cocoon of our vebbing to save for later, zen inject another poison into zem zat causes zem to dissolve from ze inside out until zey become a steaming mass of perfectly preserved organic fluid zat ve may drink at our leisure?" He chuckled in amusement. "From ze look on your face, I'd say you did know that. Did zat trauma in your past have to deal with my kind, too? Vere you trapped in a veb and almost eaten alive?"

Misty did not answer, her terror so great that it was strangling her vocal cords shut. And in any event, he was wrong, the incident that led to her current fear of bugs was much, _much_ worse than simply getting caught and almost eaten by Ariados. Not that that meant she wanted to die in one of this insane madman's webs, either… Tarantulas frowned in disappointment when she didn't rise to his bait. "Bah. Vorthless voman. Probably too ztupid to understand half of vat I'm saying…" He grumbled to himself, turning away and continuing deeper into the lab. Misty, carried by the robots, followed him.

The mad scientist's chambers were immense, as were the sheer number of bodies he had defiled in the name of science. Misty was revolted, disgusted, and horrified when they walked past a series of glassed-in enclosures set into the wall in which several Pokemon, still living, were being held. It might have been better if they were dead, though, considering the things the Doctor had done to them.

"Where is my head?!" shouted a Rampardos who quite clearly had a head…except that it was in a jar standing on a shelf in one of the enclosures, connected to its body by a long cable. The headless form stumbled and crawled frantically across its cage, searching the floor and walls in desperation with its claws. The head's eyes had been put out, so it couldn't see what its body was doing or guide it over to its jar. "I can't feel my head! Where is my head?!"

"Please…please let me go home," whispered a Smoochum child who looked far older than she should have been, with deeply wrinkled skin, quivering limbs, white hair, and cloudy eyes covered in cataracts. "I want to go home…I want to go home…I want to go home…I want to go home…" She started coughing up blood.

"I'm on fire!" screamed a Typhlosion who was, indeed, on fire, just like his species was supposed to be, and therefore shouldn't have been feeling any pain at the flames spurting from his back. Unfortunately for him, he was. "I'm burning! I can't stop it! Aaaaaauuuugh! Put it out! Put it out! AAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH!"

"I'm covered in bees!" wailed a Beedrill who was covered in very tiny Weedles which were swarming all over his skin and burrowing into and out of his flesh. "Get them off! Get them off! I'm scared of bees! Get them OFF!"

"He's killing me! Let me out! HE'S KILLING ME!" howled a Girafarig, whose tail had mutated and grown into an enormous monster head that was trying to break the long neck of the giraffe's main head in its oversized teeth.

"I don't…I don't feel so well," whispered a malnourished Azurill whose skin was covered in blotches, pustules, and oozing pores which indicated that it was very, very sick. "Could I see a Doctor…I don't feel well…I don't…" Something thick and black and viscous started running from its mouth. Something almost _alive._

"No…please…make it stop…I don't want to evolve…make it stop!" screamed an Eevee that was being bombarded by radiation from various different elemental stones on all sides. Her body seemed to be unable to make up its mind on what it wanted to turn into, one minute it had the spiky fur of a Jolteon, then the short fine down of an Espeon; the finned tail of a Vaporeon, then the bushy mass of a Flareon; and so on, her body constantly swapping characteristics of every potential Eeveelution without being able to stop on just one, causing the poor Eevee unimaginable suffering as she kept evolving and evolving and evolving without end.

"I'm going to have a baby," whispered a male Snorlax as tears of joy ran down his face, so bloated it was a miracle he fit in his cell. "It's going to be a little boy…he's going to come out any minute now…any minute now…any…AUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHH!!" He screamed and doubled over in agony as his incredibly large belly started contorting. Suddenly, his chest tore open explosively, spraying blood and gore and stomach contents everywhere as thousands of the Doctor's robot spiders crawled out of the Snorlax's insides. He howled and desperately tried to shake them off, but could barely move inside his tiny prison, and so could do nothing but stand there and scream as he bled out and died and the spiders feasted upon his corpse.

Misty threw up. Several times. She nearly blacked out and lost it completely, but the mask she was wearing kept her from falling unconscious. Whether that was a blessing or a curse was hard to say at the moment. The Doctor chuckled in amusement to her reaction. "If you think _zat_ is disgusting, you should zee my attempts at creating hybrid Pokemon. So far, ze best results I've gotten were from zewing body parts from different Pokemon togezer to create grotesque patchwork Frankenstinian monsters. I've tried genetic engineering, but so far zat has just resulted in mutant freaks zat dissolve into zmelly goo after a few agonizingly painful hours of life. Zey can't seem to handle having zeir DNA spliced togezer for some reason…" He shrugged with all six legs. "Oh well, I'll figure it out eventually. Now, komm! Your fate lies up ahead."

They kept going, past more twisted bodies, past more living creatures the Doctor was still experimenting on. Misty noticed there were a lot more bodies here, and they looked like they had been mutilated or worked on a lot more than the ones from before. More than a few looked like two or more Pokemon that had been brutally forced together. Failed attempts at the hybridization Tarantulas had mentioned? Looking over the sheer _unnaturalness_ of some of the Doctor's attempts, like a Machamp with ten arms, all from different Pokemon; a Jynx with multiple eyes and Ekans heads growing from her skull; a Dratini with Yanma wings and several dozen pairs of Drapion legs growing from its underside; a hardened Muk with several mismatched arms, legs, and heads growing from its once-flowing sludgy form; something that seemed to be nothing but a mass of either tentacles or tails with what looked like _butts_ for eyes; and countless other horrors, she found herself relieved that so far all the scientist's experiments in this field had failed.

A panting noise could be heard from somewhere nearby. Not one of the tortured souls trapped in the enclosures, but something out and about, and _active_. One of the Doctor's creations? She tensed as they got closer to the source of the heavy breathing and found…a Sunflora in a lab coat with very thick glasses humping a deceased Arcanine? "Chobin!" Tarantulas snapped angrily. "Vhat do you think you're doing?!"

The Sunflora glanced up in surprise, his slitted eyes covered by very thick glasses. "Ack! Doctor?! I-I wasn't expecting you to be back so soon!" Frantically, he tried to clamber off the dead Arcanine, only to slip on some of his own…fluids and fall off the operating table the fire dog's body had been placed on, landing on his face before the Doctor.

Enraged, Tartantulas hit the walking flower with one of his mechanical legs, flinging him into a metal cabinet with enough force to dent it and bruise the Sunflora. From all the other dents in the cabinet's surface, getting tossed around was apparently a regular occurrence in this laboratory. "How many times have I told you not to molezt dead bodies?! It'z disgusting!"

"But they don't fight back, like the live ones do!" the Sunflora whined as he stumbled back to his feet, rubbing at the bleeding cut in his cheek made by the tip of the Doctor's metal leg breaking his skin. "They're much less trouble!"

"Yes, zey're also less ALIVE!" Tarantulas snapped, tearing off one of the Arcanine's limbs and hurling it at Chobin, who yelped and ducked as it flew over his head. The Ariados sighed in exasperation and shook his head pityingly, his anger draining away. "Ah, Chobin, vat am I going to do vith you? You never seem to learn…oh vell, I suppose it's no harm done. It's not like you blew up anyzing…_zis_ time."

Chobin's eyes shifted about. "Er, right…nothing…" He noticed Misty. "Ooh! Who's that? Can I rape _her_, if I can't touch any of the bodies?"

"Hmm?" the Doctor glanced at the alarmed Misty. "Hmmm…ve'll see about it. Maybe I'll let you play vith her after I run a little experiment on her. _If_ she survives."

"If she dies, can I-" Chobin asked eagerly.

"_No_, Chobin, you cannot," the Doctor said with finality.

The Sunflora sagged in disappointment. "Awwww…"

"Please ignore my azziztant's perversions and zick lusts," the Doctor said apologetically to Misty. "He's not quite right in ze head, you see. But he's useful, and surprisingly resilient, vich is vhy I keep him around and don't use him as a test subject…unlike some of his ozzer, less skilled predecessors."

"They were very yummy!" Chobin said happily, licking his lips in a way that made Misty shudder all over. "Then again, fresh blood always tastes good to me. Actually, so does dry blood. And putrefying flesh. I'm not very picky."

"Yes, he _is_ dizgusting, isn't he? But I like him anyway," the Doctor said conversationally to the revolted Misty.

"So Doctor, what sort of experiment are we going to do on her? Turn her into a Shadow Pokemon? Test some new flesh-eating bacteria strains? Infect her with something that'll turn her into a zombie? Make her into a host for a nanite colony or robo-spider eggs? Rearrange her DNA? Brainwash her? Drug her? Dump her in a vat of random chemicals and see what kind of horrible monster she mutates into?!" Chobin asked ecstatically, salivating the more and more he thought about the possible things they could do to Misty.

Tarantulas shook his head. "No, ve're going to try ze Omniversal Projector on her," the Ariados explained.

Chobin's face fell. "Awww, but nobody who dies in that thing _ever_ screams! Much."

Tarantulas shrugged. "Yes, vell, science is about more zan seeing how much you can make people hurt before zey die or go completely insane…most of ze time. Zere are many paths to follow in ze pursuit of knowledge, after all! And to learn more about universez beyond our own, ze Projector is ze key! Once ve manage to get it working properly, zat is."

"I suppose…" Chobin said disappointedly, still looking like he would have preferred to try one of the other experiments.

The Doctor glanced at Misty. "I suppose you are vondering vat exactly we are going to do to you, my dear. Ze Omniversal Projector is a device I've been vorking on for quite some time now, dezigned to expand ze user's consciousness so zat zey can see countless worlds and universez beyond our own while zeir body remains strapped in ze machine. Supposedly, ze 'Holy' Guardians use zimilar, but much more advanced, machines to spy on our every thought and action and control us so zat we do ze bidding of zeir distant, uncaring God. By constructing a Projector of our own, ve are one step closer to freeing ourselves from ze tyranny of ze 'divine dead.' Perhaps one day ve vill be able to defeat zem and destroy, or even replace, ze 'Almighty Arceus' vith a deity more to our liking." In other circumstances, Misty might have protested the obscenity he was suggesting, but seeing as how she was covered in spiders and trapped in a very evil place with two very evil and insane people, she thought it might be prudent to keep quiet.

Chobin clapped his leafy hands together gleefully. "Ooh, I love it when you spout blasphemies, Doctor, it makes me feel all tingly inside!"

"Yes, vell, I _did_ consider becoming a priest," the Doctor said with false modesty. "Until I decided a deity who allowed things like vat happened to me and to so many ozer people vas not vorth vorshipping and turned to science instead. But enough of zis reminiscing, ve have vork to do! For science!"

"For science!" Chobin echoed. They ran off, presumably in the direction of the Omniversal Projector. The spiders carried Misty after them.

"So Doctor, what makes you think using this girl will get us better results than any of the other test subjects?" Chobin asked his master. "I mean, all of them seemed to be working fine at first, but after they expanded outside our universe they started to lose it and just became brain dead as their minds diffused into the cosmos."

The Doctor smiled indulgingly. "Zat is true, but Vaporeons are different from most other Pokemon in the vay their consciousnesses work. Unlike other Pokemon, whose mind is centralized in one place, ze brain; Vaporeon minds are scattered throughout zeir entire bodies. Zat is why zey have complete control over zeir molecules, because a bit of zeir consciousness is engrained into every single particle of zeir being."

"Ah, I see!" Chobin cried, understanding at once. "Then she is already used to 'expanding' her consciousness when she changes from a solid Pokemon into a liquid mass of water, so should be more resilient and last longer in the Projector than any of our other subjects!"

The Doctor beamed proudly. "Precisely! I knew I kept you around for a reazon. You can be so bright sometimes, especially ven you actually use your head!" He patted Chobin on the head. The Sunflora panted, his tongue hanging out as one foot wiggled happily in the air. Misty sweatdropped.

They quicly reached the Omniversal Projector. Misty wasn't sure what she had expected, but it certainly wasn't what was before her. The machine was a big glass box with a transparent door in one side and an acceleration couch lying horizontally in the center of it, with a number of wires, cables, and very strong-looking restraints growing from its sides. "Chobin, secure her inside ze device while I varm the Projector up," the Doctor ordered his assistant as he headed over to several massive machines of unknown function hooked up to the glass box by several cables of varying thicknesses and consistencies. "That collar she's vearing will prevent her from trying to escape, it's keyed to her biorhythm so zat it activates if it senses her about to convert into water or try to attack one of us, though it can also be activated remotely if need be."

Chobin nodded as the spiders finally swarmed off of Misty and unceremoniously dropped her to the floor. "Should I take off that mask, too?"

The Doctor, whose eyes were focused on the multiple controls and displays of the machinery he was operating with his many legs, shook his head. "No, it's ze only thing keeping her avake. If you take it off, she'll either pass out and sleep for ze next few veeks or die, I'm not sure which. I vould give you some adrenaline to inject into her system, but I haven't done enough vork on Vaporeons to know what effect it has on zeir unique physiology. Just leave it on, it shouldn't significantly affect the experiment."

"And if it does?" Chobin asked as he dragged the somewhat larger Misty, who probably would have struggled more if she weren't so fatigued from exhaustion and fear and her collar didn't jolt her every time she fought back, into the Projector.

Tarantulas shrugged as he input a series of commands into four keyboards simultaneously. "Zen ve'll get a new one. Ve have a spare Eevee, remember?"

Chobin nodded as he hefted Misty onto the couch in the middle of the glass box and methodically began strapping down all four of her limbs and tail and attaching several wires and electrodes to various points on her body. "Oh, right." He licked his lips. "Uh, do you suppose I could-"

The Doctor sighed in exasperation. "Is zat all you can think about?! Ugh, ve'll talk about it later, okay?"

"Okay," said Chobin. He checked and double-checked that everything was connected properly to Misty, who stared blankly at him, not sure what, if anything, she should be doing in this situation. The Sunflora glanced over his shoulder to make sure Tarantulas wasn't looking, then slowly reached a leaf out to the space between her thighs…

"Chobin! Vat are you still doing in zere? Get out here and help me vith zis thing!" the Doctor shouted.

Chobin yelped and withdrew his leaf. "I'll fuck you later," he promised Misty lovingly. "Maybe when you're dead." He left the chamber, closing the door behind him. Misty found herself faintly relieved that when she died, she'd probably just turn into water or evaporate or something, so her poor abused body need not be violated like the Doctor's other victims.

There was a crackling noise, and suddenly she could hear the Doctor's voice, rather loudly, from somewhere behind her head. "Hello? Can you hear me in zere? I am communicating to you via a speakerphone in your chair. For safety purposes, ze Omniversal Projector is zoundproof, so I had to install a channel to talk to my research participants and get ze full extent of zeir experiences in ze device…before zeir brains inevitably died, zat is. If you can hear me, please respond now." Misty said nothing. Her collar shocked her, and she gasped loudly, and the spider cackled. "Ah, I heard zat. Excellent, everyzing is vorking properly, zen. Now, fraulein, vhat I need you to do is describe to me everyzing you are seeing once I have activated ze Projector. Be as zpecific as possible, so zat I can collect as much data about ze ozzer worlds as I can. Do you understand?" Again, Misty said nothing. The spider growled, getting annoyed. "I know you aren't mute, girl! Speak, or I vill electrocute you for five minutes straight, zen send Chobin in to rape you."

"Oh boy!" Chobin said eagerly.

"Yes, I understand," Misty cried out, somewhat startled to hear her own voice again. Was there really a point in fighting back anymore? She was as good as dead no matter what happened, and there was absolutely no chance of being rescued at this point. The best thing she could do was give in and hope that Tarantulas simply killed her swiftly before his psychotic assistant could get his fronds on her. She was just so tired…she wanted it all to end. "I'll do whatever you want. Just kill me quickly when this is all over, please."

"You are giving up already?" the Doctor asked, somewhat surprised. "Some of my ozzer subjects resisted for much longer…how disappointing, I thought you had more fight in you zan zat. Very vell, I vill kill you quickly. Assuming you survive."

"But you said I could play with her first!" Chobin protested.

"I said I'd think about it," Tarantulas corrected him. "And I have, and I've decided not to. And don't give me zat puppy-eyes look, you know it never vorks on me!"

"Awwww," Chobin whined in disappointment.

"Now. Let us begin!" the Doctor said. "Chobin, throw ze switch!"

"Okay!" Chobin grabbed a rather large handlebar switch, ripped it off the machine it was attached to, and threw it away.

Tarantulas facefaulted. Somehow. "NOT LITERALLY, YOU IMBECILE! Vhy do you _alvays_ do zat?!"

"Sorry," Chobin said apologetically, grabbing the switch and trying to reattach it to the machine. "I always gets so _excited_ when we do mad science, I overdo it a little."

Tarantulas rolled his eyes. "Now _zat_ is an understatement."

After quickly fixing the machine, they threw the switch…not literally, this time. The glass walls of the Projector all turned opaque (for Misty, anyway) as they became one-way mirrors. Even the floor was a mirror. Misty blinked in surprise, for everywhere she looked she could see herself reflected back at her, and her reflections were being reflected, and her reflections' reflections were being reflected, and so on and so forth. She was inside of an infinity mirror box.

"Vhat do you see?" the Doctor's voice whispered from under her head.

"Myself," she said. "Everywhere. On all sides."

"All right…" A few moments passed. A low humming noise began to manifest, and Misty's ears twitched. "How about now?"

"Still myself," she replied.

"Okay. How about…" The humming grew louder. "Now?"

"Still-" She paused. Had something just moved? "Wait."

"Vhat is it? Do you see something?" The Doctor asked.

Misty squinted her eyes. "The reflections. They seem different. I think…" She squinted harder, looking past the mirror images of herself and into the background of the reflected reflections, which reflected each other endlessly and seemed to extend away from her in square-framed tunnels leading to…leading to…Her eyes widened. "Stars."

"Stars? Where?" asked the confused Chobin. "We don't have any windows in here…"

"No, no, not zose kinds of ztars!" the Doctor hissed. "Elaborate, girl! You see ztars? Vhere? Detail, detail!"

Misty felt disoriented. It felt as if the far ends of the mirrored tunnels—which couldn't possibly exist, since they didn't _have_ ends—were getting closer at the same time as the mirrors themselves were _receding_ from her, until she was no longer surrounded by reflective surfaces but by…

"Space," she said, staring at the stars everywhere around her in wonder. "I'm in space."

"Outer or inner?" the Doctor asked.

"There's a difference?" asked the surprised Chobin.

"Of course zere is, you nincompoop, _outer_ space is ze big cosmic mishmash vith ztars and galaxies and ze like we're floating in like inzignificant zpecks of dust; vile _inner_ space is ze microscopic regions vithin ourselves, vhere atoms and molecules and lifeforms so tiny ve cannot possibly see zem vithout an incredibly powerful electron microscope dwell," the Doctor explained. "Vich is it, girl? Speak up!"

"Outer," Misty said, though she wasn't entirely sure. Could the glowing lights around her be atoms and quarks instead of stars? But no, she could see other things around her now; meteors and planetoids and other stellar bodies, which she described to the Doctor in great detail. It was surprisingly easy to do; she didn't even need to put much thought into it. Her mind seemed to have entered a free-flowing stream of thought as rapid and unceasing as a great river. One by one, she talked about the objects around her, describing the smallest blemish or crater or formation on the surface of each planetoid in extraordinary detail without really thinking about it.

"Interesting…" the Doctor muttered to himself. "Zat is an unfamiliar zolar system, certainly not our own, or any of ze ozzers ve've spotted so far. Do you see any life-forms on ze surfaces of ze objects around you?"

Misty blinked. Or thought she did. It didn't quite feel like she had eyelids anymore, for some reason… "No, of course not. They're all too far away. And they'd be so small anyway, how could I see them?"

"Hmm, you haven't expanded enough. Hold on." The Doctor fiddled with something. The humming grew louder in her ears…

And suddenly the solar system she was in receded away from her at incredible speeds, and she found herself staring down at an enormous ring galaxy, a galaxy shaped like a hoop of stars with a bare core and a pulsating galactic nebula at the center with an enormous black hole in the middle. "Whoa! I see a…I think that's a galaxy? But it's not shaped like ours is supposed to. It looks like a ring. I didn't know they came like that."

"How big is it?" Chobin asked.

"How should I know?" she replied.

"Good point," he admitted.

"Do you see any life now?" the Doctor asked.

Misty frowned. Or thought she did. She couldn't feel her face…but oddly, that didn't seem to bother her at the moment. "How could I? I'm even further away now than-" She started as she suddenly realized that she _could_ see life; the instant she focused on a single star a part of her awareness instantly zoomed towards it while the rest of her 'stayed behind' outside the galaxy, and she found herself staring simultaneously at the ring and at the surface of not one, but _thousands_ of planets, each of which was bustling with a totally alien kind of life she'd never seen before, thoroughly un-Pokemonlike in shape and society, with radically differing architectural styles varying not just from world to world but from city to city! And this wasn't the only solar system she was gazing at, at the same time she was also zooming in on every planet on every star in the galaxy, able to see everything at once while still looking at the ring galaxy in general. This was not a concept she was entirely foreign to, since she had a similar experience whenever she dissolved into water and 'saw' around herself by using every square inch of her liquid body as an optical medium, but she'd never done that on a scale anything like this before!

Without even thinking about it, she immediately began describing the millions of different alien races she saw as they worked, played, and fought with each other, both on a local and interstellar level. She could see a pair of vaguely bird-like creatures who had tentacles instead of wings intertwining themselves in a lover's embrace, while on another world an incredibly bored twelve-eyed and fifteen-limbed bureaucrat filled out several thousand forms pertaining to the food supply of an entire solar system, while on still another world spherical creatures rolled about on a plane as slippery and ever-changing as quicksilver, and on yet _another_ world she saw ten differing armies with astonishingly powerful technology blasting the hell out of each other on a barren and dead wasteland until an even _stronger_ race of aliens attacked and wiped them all out in just a few seconds. She could see wars and weddings, births and funerals, murders and altruism, love and hate and every other form of emotion and thought and art expressing itself in billions of ways across the galaxy. And everything she saw, she told to her captors, not even sparing a thought to her predicament or how they would kill her once they were done, too enraptured was she by the dramas unfolding on personal and planetary levels all before her eyes. She merrily spent six hours in this fashion, without even realizing it.

She also didn't realize that her body had began to lose its cohesion and had started melting partway the more she expanded her consciousness to look at the galaxy. "Shouldn't her collar be stopping that?" asked a surprised Chobin.

"Hmm…it doesn't seem to be vorking anymore," the Doctor noted. "It looks as if her mind is so far avay from us, so to speak, zat she didn't even notice it vas electrifying her, and it shorted itself out trying to stop her from losing her solidity."

"Why is she melting at all?" Chobin asked.

The Doctor frowned. "Possibly because of how ztrongly her consciousness is connected to her body. Her mind is spreading, zo her body is mimicking the effect. Incredible…"

"What would happen if we pushed her to expand even further?" Chobin asked.

The Doctor grinned eagerly. "A good question! Let's find out!" He pressed a few buttons, causing the humming to grow louder.

Misty immediately found her perspective zooming out and in at the same time; all of a sudden she was focusing in on every inhabitant of every planet orbiting every star in every galaxy in the entire universe. She gasped, her mind overflowing and nearly collapsing under the weight of all the information rushing into her. She managed, though it was quite a struggle. "Incredible! I can see…so many people! I think…" She started to describe everything she was seeing, but after going through several galaxies, she gasped again, noticing something that surprised her. "Doctor, I even see some Pokemon! But…what are those creatures they're with? Are those humans?"

"Humans? Describe zem!" demanded an intrigued Tarantulas.

"They're taller than most Pokemon, seem frailer, wear clothing all over their bodies rather than just in parts, have fur on top of their heads rather than on their entire body…" Misty said.

"Yes, yes, zat certainly sounds like humans…" the spider muttered to himself.

"And they have blue skin, pointy ears, four arms, and stalk eyes," Misty finished.

Chobin blinked. "I didn't know humans had stalk eyes…"

"Zey don't," said Tarantulas. "Or any of zat ozzer stuff. Zis must be an alternate universe, where a species ozzer zan humanity evolved on our planet…or perhaps zey are an alien species vich invaded Earth and viped out mankind, then proceeded to do…something vith Pokemon. Vat sort of relationship do zese blue-men have vith our trans-dimensional counterparts?"

"They're called the Sturopi," Misty said automatically, not knowing or caring how she knew the name and everything about the otherworldly beings just by looking at them. "And they didn't invade Earth, it's the other way around. The Pokemon of this universe developed incredibly advanced technology after conquering the humans of their homeworld and have formed an enormous intergalactic empire that's been around for several thousand years. The Sturopi are just one of many species that have been subjugated by this empire."

"Fascinating…" said the enamored Tarantulas.

"Am I there? Do I have an alternate-world counterpart?" Chobin asked hopefully.

"Sort of," said Misty. "Except in this universe you're a girl, called Alraune, and work for Tarantulas, who is still a mad scientist but seems to have retained most of his body…and also has a full head of hair."

"Cool!" said Chobin.

"I vish I had hair…" Tarantulas said with a sigh, rubbing his bald metal dome wistfully. "Vhat else can you tell us about zis empire?"

"Well, other than the conquering and enslaving part, it doesn't seem to be that bad a place. Everyone has a high standard of living, even the slaves. And-" She started. "I—that is, the alternate me—is ruling it! And through use of highly advanced technology, she's managed to extend her lifespan by millennia to become some sort of nearly immortal God-Empress, who rules billions of star systems through a loving iron fist."

"Ooh, vat sort of technology?" the Doctor asked eagerly.

Normally, Misty wouldn't have understood the first thing about the science her other self had used to augment her body, but with her expanded consciousness came greater understanding. She told the Doctor how it worked, too fascinated by how different and yet similar her alternate was to herself to think about the terrible things Tarantulas would probably do with it or notice that her body had by this point almost completely dissolved into a puddle with only tertiary features to suggest that she was a living thing, making her look sort of like some big, flat, blue Ditto.

"Anyzing else?" Tarantulas asked after she had finished explaining this alien science.

"My other self has over a thousand children, grandchildren, and so on—which I guess makes sense, considering how long she's lived—and she's-" Misty stopped, actually stunned speechless by what she saw next.

"She's vat? Vhat is it?" the Doctor asked anxiously.

"A lesbian?" Chobin guessed.

"Vhat? Don't be preposterous, if she vere a lesbian she couldn't have zat many…" the Doctor paused. "Vell, actually, I suppose she could if she used cloning, artificial inzemination, zat sort of thing…"

"No!" Misty protested. "She's not a lesbian, she's-" She choked up again.

"Vhat? Tell us!" Tarantulas demanded.

"She has a consort," Misty said lamely. "Well, several, actually; quite a large male harem, numbering in the hundreds, with one male for every night of the year…and the years there are _very_ long. But her favorite consort, the one that she spends the most time with, is…Ash!"

The Doctor and his assistant exchanged puzzled glances. "Who?"

"I…someone I know," Misty stammered. "His alternate is my alternate's lover. Wh-which is surprising, since Ash and I, w-we're just friends."

Both researchers picked up on her hesitation at once. "Oho, _just_ friends?" Chobin asked eagerly, always loving to hear some bit of gossip or personal details about his prey that he could fondly cherish in his memories long after he had gruesomely slaughtered them.

"Yes, that's right!" Misty said a little too quickly. "And that's all! Nothing more!"

The Doctor cackled. "Zat's vhat zey _all_ say…"

"Sh-shut up! You don't know anything about it!" Misty retorted defensively. Who were they to judge her personal relationships? For that matter…why was she even talking to them about it at all? Why was she _helping_ them?! They were horrible evil people who tortured and experimented on Pokemon for fun, were holding her prisoner, were plotting to destroy the world, and intended to kill and/or rape her when she was no longer useful to them! Why was she talking to them so amiably and telling them information about worlds beyond their own, worlds they probably intended to destroy as well?! Coming to her senses, Misty started to recompile her scattered mind, realizing correctly that she couldn't think properly in her current diffuse state.

Her body began to solidify again as well, much to her captors' alarm. "Uh, that shouldn't be happening, should it?" asked the worried Chobin.

"Zis is impossible!" the incredulous Doctor cried, glancing from the many displays dotting the Projector's controls to Misty and back again. "She's pulling herself back togezer and _reversing_ my projection! Zis has never happened before! Astounding! Her mind-body connection is stronger zan I ever imagined…it's actually letting her fight back against me!" He frowned. "Zis cannot be allowed to continue. I vill not harbor any defiance in my demesnes!" He fiddled with the controls, causing the machine's humming to grow to a rather ear-splitting pitch. Chobin cringed and clutched his head in pain, feeling a migraine coming on.

Misty's efforts to pull her mind back together were dashed as suddenly she was zoomed out again, her consciousness expanding even _wider_ to gaze at the inhabitants of an entire multiverse; not just one universe or two or three or even a dozen, but _millions_, all living side-by-side and transposed on top of each other and budding off as timelines diverged and slamming back together as they converged again in a pattern so complex and seemingly random that it took a while for her to even realize that there _was_ a pattern, that all the worlds and the people in them dancing about each other and living their lives were part of a deliberate plan so immense that, as spread out as her consciousness was, she was still only capable of seeing a tiny portion of it. Awed, she immediately forgot what she had been trying to do just moments ago and started examining the livelihoods of the innumerable souls all around her. There were so many, even allowing for the ones that were parallels of each other! How could it be possible for so many living things to exist so near and yet so far apart from each other, sharing the same space? The sheer size of the construct necessary to support not just this many worlds, but all the other ones in the countless other multiverses coexisting with each other inside the Omniverse, was so immense that her mind was simply unable to comprehend it.

So, she decided to do something about that. Doing the exact opposite of her earlier actions, she deliberately spread her mind out even more, expanding her awareness so that she could see not only all of the multiverse she dwelled in, but several of the closest others as well. There were so many worlds out there…she wanted to see them all!

Naturally, Chobin and Tarantulas were very surprised when she began to do this without any input from them, her body melting completely into a puddle of water which continued thinning and spreading as it dripped off the couch and onto the floor of the Projector. The couch's electrodes and wires were still attached to individual semisolid lumps of the liquefied Vaporeon sticking out of the puddle, however, so the machine was still operating on her mind and feeding data to the Doctor's computers. "Vat the…how is she doing zat?! First she starts pulling herself togezer, now she's tearing herself apart?! Vithout us even doing anyzing?! How is zis happening?! It shouldn't be possible!"

Chobin shook his head. "Typical woman, never able to make up her mind. I'll turn it off," he said, reaching for the machine's 'kill' switch. (Which actually would kill the person using it, appropriately.)

Tarantulas's leg slammed down on Chobin's leaf almost hard enough to tear part of it off. "No, wait! Zis could be ze opportunity ve've been vaiting for! No ozzer person who's used ze Projector has _ever_ gotten zis far! Who knows vhat she might be seeing? Ve must find out, in ze name of science!"

"But if she keeps on like this, she could die!" Chobin pointed out.

The Doctor shrugged. "So? Ve have a spare."

"Yes, but then I can't fuck her!" Chobin whined.

The Doctor rolled his eyes. "Vill you think vith somezing ozzer zan your crotch for a change? You can fuck somezing else later, right now ve must take advantage of zis remarkable phenomenon vhile zere is still time to learn somezing from it!" He activated the speaker inside the Projector. "Girl, are you ztill conscious and capable of communicating? Can you hear my voice?"

"Yes, Doctor," Misty replied in a breathy sigh like the ephemeral mist rising from the base of a waterfall, as light and airy and ultimately fleeting as the rainbows which sometimes adorned the bottoms of those roaring flows of water.

"Good! Zen tell me…vhat do you see? Tell me everyzing!" the Doctor commanded.

"I see…" Misty hesitated for a moment, struggling to put what she was seeing into words. She wasn't sure she could. There were so _many_ worlds, and so many people in them, many of whom didn't even look like people as she knew them. She saw humans and Pokemon and dragons and aliens and insects (which would have frightened her if she were in the right state of mind) and rock monsters and robots and spaceships and crystals and godlike beings and living geometric concepts and blobs and spirits and…and…

She saw herself. In several million worlds, though only a few outside the multiverse she lived in. She was not always a Vaporeon, or even a Pokemon. In some places she was a Dragonair, or a Seadra, or a Corsola, or something that didn't even live in water! In fact, a surprising number of times she was human. And even _more _surprising was that the vast majority of the Mistys out there were either in love with or denying their secret love for their respective Ashes. How weird was it that such a relationship could exist in so many places and times all at once? Talk about cosmic coincidences! She wasn't even sure it was a coincidence, now that she could see more of the grand pattern than she had before.

Suddenly, she knew how to explain it to the Doctor. "I see webs," she said.

"Webs?" the Doctor asked, intrigued. "Explain."

"Everything is…connected," Misty explained. "There are strands, everywhere, binding everything together; every star, every world, every person, everywhere and everywhen. It's like a giant web spun by a spider of unimaginable proportions trying to weave a tapestry or pattern greater and grander than the mortal mind can comprehend, and every universe and multiverse and timeline and everything and everyone in them are wrapped up in it, just like your prey are bundled up in your own webs, Doctor."

"Hmm, what an apt analogy," the Doctor said, wiping acidic drool from his mandibles. "And are zere any giant spiders or ze like feasting upon ze hapless vorlds bound up in zese webs, girl?"

"Not spiders," said Misty, spreading herself out more to get a better look and causing her puddle to become even thinner in the process. "They're…I don't know how to describe them. There are all these luminous _beings_ darting all over the place, checking on thing and...._reaching_ into the multiverses and touching the people there, and adjusting the strings connecting them, and stuff like that. Some are tiny and hard and bright, while others are vast and diffuse but no less brilliant. They're all…so beautiful…"

"Don't draw zeir attention!" Tarantulas cried in alarm. "Zose must be ze Guardians, using zeir own Omniversal Projectors or zimilar technology to expand zeir consciousnesses to keep a perpetual vatch on us and pull zese 'strings' to make us dance to zeir wills like puppets in some sadistic playhouse or theater! Don't let zem notice you, ve cannot afford to have zem know our capabilities and vhat we are planning! Not yet…"

"But wouldn't they already know if they're everywhere and control everything we do?" Chobin asked reasonably.

"Not if Herr Shadow's shielding is as strong as he claims it is," was the reply.

"You don't have to worry, they don't seem to notice I'm here…" Misty said, sounding distraught. "They're so beautiful…why don't they see me? I want to talk to them…"

"Zey don't see you?" the relieved Tarantulas asked, calming down. "Hmm…perhaps ze technology zey are using to project zemselves is so far above my own zat you don't even register on vhatever sensors zey use."

"Or maybe they do notice you, but just don't care," Chobin suggested. "Or are feigning ignorance so they can attack us when we least expect it."

The Doctor rolled his eyes. "Zank you for zat lovely thought."

"You're welcome!" Chobin said cheerfully.

"I don't think they notice me," Misty said. "I'm still too small. But maybe if I…" She expanded her consciousness again. Her physical body began to sizzle and evaporate.

"Vhat?! No, you stupid girl, no! Stop, stop! Ugh, vhy does she _constantly_ disobey me?!" the exasperated Tarantulas demanded.

Chobin shrugged. "She's a teenage girl. I'm not surprised, really. Should I shut the machine down now?"

The Doctor scowled and shook his head. "I'm not sure ve could stop her now if ve vanted to…damn her villfulness! Oh well, at least ve'll get some good data from zis. And at zis rate, she von't last much longer, I highly doubt her molecular control is strong enough to keep herself togezer as a cloud of gas!"

"It works for Gastly," Chobin pointed out.

Tarantulas rolled his eyes. "Gastly are _ghosts_, zey're used to being incorporeal…now, let's see if she's still zere. Girl, can you hear me? Speak!"

"…I'm here, Doctor," she whispered from the cloud of light blue vapor inside the projector room, her voice starting to fade like mist burning away before the rising sun. "It's so…beautiful…"

"Vat do you see? Tell me zis instant!" The Doctor ordered.

"…More than I could ever imagine…worlds within worlds within worlds…spheres and clusters and shapes, all bound together by unbreakable threads…" she breathed.

"Threads…vat are zese threads made of? Vhat is it zat ze Guardians use to bind us to zeir wills? Tell me!" Tarantulas commanded.

"Not to control…to connect…to make everything a part of everything else," Misty replied dreamily. "So beautiful…the threads are made of love. Love is what binds us all, and connects everything and everyone in the Omniverse to all the rest of Creation."

Tarantulas and Chobin stared at the fading cloud of gas in the Projector in disbelief. "Love?!" the spider finally cried incredulously. "Don't be preposterous!"

"She must be delusional due to spreading herself out so much," Chobin decided. "There's no way something as stupid as _love_ could be what's holding the Omniverse together!"

"Love is…everything," Misty countered. "Our Creator's love for His children made into unimaginably powerful energy…flowing to us from the center of all things…encircling us all in His warm embrace."

"And clenching us all in his iron fists," Tarantulas said cynically.

"The others…still don't see me," Misty said with a sorrowful sigh as the gas cloud that was her being slowly began to dissipate. "But I see them…and I see…the center…"

Tarantulas' mechanical eye telescoped outward, focusing on Misty. "Ze center?! As in ze Celestial Heavens, core of ze entire Omniverse?! Vhat does it look like? Vhat do you see zere?! Vhat?! VhAT?!"

"I see…" Misty whispered, her voice fading away.

"Yes?"

"I see…" Her voice was almost inaudible now.

"Yes?!"

"_I see…_" If you weren't listening carefully, you'd think she hadn't said anything at all.

"YES?! VHAT?! VHAT DO YOU SEE?!" Tarantulas shouted, his mini-spiders going into a frenzy as several of his circuits overloaded and started to spark and sizzle.

"_Light."_ And then she was gone. Misty's voice went silent, and the cloud of water vapor that had been her body vanished completely, until there was nothing left of her at all.

Scientist and assistant gawked. "Vhat…vhat the…" Tarantulas stammered.

Chobin pressed his face to the surface of the Projector, searching its insides fervently. "Where did she go?!" He threw open the door and looked everywhere inside, but could find no trace of Misty, not even a single droplet or bit of moisture or residue clinging to the walls left to indicate that she had ever been there. "She's not here!"

Tarantulas frantically checked his instruments. "Impossible…according to zis, zere isn't even a single molecule left of her in zere!"

"But where could they all have gone?" asked a confused Chobin. "She couldn't have teleported, this fortress is too heavily shielded for that, not without permission from the Shadow, anyway!"

The Doctor shook his head in puzzlement. "I…I don't…" He gasped. "Vait! Of course! It's so obvious!" Eagerly, he turned to his assistant. "It vas already clear zat her body expanded to match her consciousness, due to ze manner in which her mind and matter vere connected! To see into ze center of ze Omniverse, she must have stretched her mind to ze point vhere it came apart completely…and as a result, she took her body vith her, causing her constituent particles to be scattered across all of reality!"

"Whoa," said the amazed Chobin. "Then…is she dead?"

"I'm not sure," Tarantulas admitted reluctantly. "I don't think ve have a label for her current state of existence ozzer zan becoming 'one vith ze all'…or somezing like zat." He checked his machines. "Hmm, zere's nozing in ze Soul Jar ve set up to automatically trap her essence upon her inevitable expiration, so she must not be dead, or at least not our definition of 'dead'…her spirit must have slipped out of our grasp ze same way her body did." He grimaced. "Herr Shadow vill not be pleased about zis…"

"Huh," said Chobin. There was a pause. "So, uh…what do we do now?"

"Vell, first of all, if he gets angry zat we lost ze Vaporeon's soul, I'll tell him it vas all your fault," the Doctor decided.

"Okay," said Chobin, seeing no problem with that. "And after that?"

"After ve finish packing for our trip to ze Tree of Beginnings, ve'll start testing ze spare," Tarantulas said evilly. "Perhaps she vill be more compliant zan her predecessor…"

…

Elsewhere…

"Hahahahaha! Didyouhearthat? ItsoundedlikeasmallvoicecryingoutbeforebeingengulfedbythevastnessoftheOmniverse! Hehehe,howfunny! Wait,that'snotfunnyatall. Orisit? Weehehehehoohoo!" a manic, incredibly fast (and crazy) voice giggled.

"Will you shut up?! I need to concentrate to track down that signal! That sounded like some voyeuristic idiot who got him or herself in too deep stargazing, and since nobody else seems to have noticed, _we're_ the ones who are going to have to help them out of the mess they've gotten themselves into! Tch, typical!" a deeper, angrier voice growled.

"Why are you always so angry all the time? It frays my nerves like crazy…and I'm high-strung enough as is!" a higher, whiny voice complained.

"Hoohoohahahaha! Youdon'tevenhavenerves!" the manic voice laughed. "Notthekindmostpeoplehave,anyway!"

"Well, if I _did_ have nerves, I just know they'd be very frayed!" the whiny voice retorted. "Oh, why do people always have to get themselves into trouble while we're in range? I don't mind helping others now and then, but it happens _all the time,_ and it keeps sidetracking us from doing more important things!"

"Hehehahahaha! Likecomplainingalldayandactingemobecauseyouneverfindanythingfunorinteresting? Woohoohoohoo!" the manic voice taunted.

"Will both of you shut up?! You're going to give me a headache!" the angry voice shouted. "Rrgh, maybe we should just forget about this one. We can't save everyone who needs help in this nearly infinite Omniverse, and there are lots of people right now who could use our help way more urgently than whomever that poor sucker was! Tch, whoever it was probably was asking for it, anyway."

"Stop yelling, now _I'm_ getting a headache!" the whiny voice complained.

"Gwahahahaha! I know, isn't it great? Hehe!" the manic voice laughed.

"All of you, calm yourselves," a fourth, soothing voice gently silenced the other three. "There is no reason for you all to get so worked up about this."

"Bwahohohohoohoo! ButIlikegettingworkedup! It'sfun!" the manic voice shouted.

"Is not," the whiny voice sulked.

"Oh, shut up," the angry voice grumbled.

"While you are correct in saying there are countless others who could use our help more at the moment, my friend, I believe that assisting that mysterious other we just sensed is the right thing to do in this instance," the calm voice continued.

"Hehehehahaha! Soundsfinetome!" the manic voice said, always up for a good time.

"Oh, fine," the whiny voice sighed, giving in, as it usually did, though it would complain about the choice they had all made and how they could be doing something more interesting the whole time, also as it usually did.

"Why do you say that?" the angry voice asked, not quite willing to acquiesce just yet, even though secretly it had already decided to follow the advice of the calm voice, which always had the coolest head and most common sense of the four of them.

"Let's just say I have a feeling that there is something…_special_ about this case," the calm voice said. "Something that might require our…_personal_ intervention."

…

Oooh. Lots of stuff happened this chapter.

I bet you weren't expecting all this crap to happen, huh? Don't worry, all you Misty fans, she's not dead…so to speak. We'll be seeing more of her in future chapters, as well as several of the other characters introduced in this chapter.

I strived to make this chapter as scary and dark as I could. Did I succeed?


	15. In the Forest of Mystery

Hopefully not too late, here's the next chapter. And it focuses on the main characters, too! Isn't that a hoot?

…

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters that do not belong to me.

…

Michael ran for his life, heart hammering against his ribs as he pushed his small furry underfed body to its limits in a desperate attempt to escape his pursuers. The dead leaves and grass littering the ground crunched beneath his feet as he dashed over them; barging through thorny bushes without focusing on how much they tore at his fur and already weakened flesh and ripped open barely-healed cuts and wounds, crawling under thick roots, worming his way through tiny crevices in rocks, and deliberately weaving through fields of very beautiful but also very sharp crystals growing from the hardened earth, doing everything conceivable and using every physical and environmental advantage available to him to try and outmaneuver his foes.

All his efforts seemed to be in vain, however, as the monsters seemed to always be just one step behind him, unerringly capable of tracking him no matter where he went. Was it his scent? Was he leaving a clear trail behind him in his frantic flight? Or were they using some dark and forbidden art to follow him, similar to the uncanny ways they were able to control and enslave his kin?

All he knew was that he had to survive, at all costs. He had to find someone, anyone, to help him, before everyone he cared for shared the same fate as his sister…

…

Peace reigned throughout the tall trees and glowing crystals of the Mystifying Forest. The resident Pokemon went about their business, gathering food, mending their homes, and occasionally preying on each other as the sun rose higher in the sky, burning away the early morning fog and slowly waking up the sleeping woods. All was still and quiet…

Until an enthusiastic "YATTA! I DID IT!" rang throughout the forest at an absurdly high volume, startling the natives, causing a few birds to fall out of their tree roosts, giving a very old Treecko a heart attack (he survived, thankfully), and triggering a small avalanche at the foothills of the nearby mountains.

Pikachu's eye twitched. "Leo," the samurai said in a deceptively calm voice. "What did we talk about concerning volume control and the need to remain quiet when in unfamiliar, possibly _dangerous_, territory?"

The bespectacled Squirtle gave the mouse a sheepish look. "Sorry, Pikachu. I forgot. But I couldn't help myself! Just look at this!" He shoved his laptop into Pikachu's face.

Pikachu stared at the colorful high-def display on the computer screen, having absolutely no idea what he was supposed to be seeing. "What am I supposed to be seeing?"

The Squirtle beamed from nonexistent ear to nonexistent ear. "I just finished a 100-mon raid on the lair of Doctor Doomsday, one of the biggest, baddest, most powerful video game bosses of all time, surviving just long enough to deliver the coup de gras to the big man himself while everyone else was respawning from his wiping the floor with them, and managing by random chance to obtain an ultra-rare super-exclusive item when he croaked along with BILLIONS of EXP!" Leo said eagerly. "This makes me one of the luckiest players ever, not to mention one of the few good enough to actually defeat the Doc and get the aforementioned super-rare item! My name has been written down for all time in the annals of City of Superguys history! I'm a living MMORPG legend now! I RULE!" He cackled evilly. "And I got to rub it in the face of my arch-nemesis Arackaiser, too. And boy, is he _pissed_ about it! He was one of the first to get killed by Doomsday's opening volley. So much for his foolproof plan to win, I guess his usual method of cheating and hacking his way to victory didn't work this time! _Looooooser!_"

Pikachu stared at Leo blankly. "Leo, I have no idea what you're talking about."

Leo's face fell. "Oh, right…I forgot, you guys aren't into gaming. My bad. I'm not used to having actual flesh and blood friends, I haven't had any of those in a long while, what with me either alienating them due to becoming more engrossed in virtual fantasies to escape the bleak reality that was my life or because most of them got eaten by Tiama."

"Right…" Pikachu said slowly.

"Start from scratch. What are you so excited about?" Ash asked Leo, wiping some sweat from his face with an embroidered hand towel Leo's mother had given them before they had left town, deciding to take a break from his morning training to see why their newest member had shouted loud enough to make him go temporarily deaf in one ear.

Leo blushed. "Uh, well…basically I did really well in this online role-playing game I spend a lot of my time on, though it's really just one of many I frequent. My character, the Turtle Titan, managed to defeat an enemy it usually takes at least a hundred people to beat all by himself (well, okay, the others might have softened him up a little before he killed them) and got a lot of cool stuff out of it, stuff almost nobody outside of the nigh-mythical top tier players and admins have ever managed to get their hands on. I was expressing my delight at having managed to succeed in such a Sisyphean task and show up one of the other players, who I'm bitter enemies with in this game and many others."

"Oh, I see," Pikachu said, understanding now. "Sort of like how Ash behaved when our team managed to reach the Gold rank, whereas our rivals at the time, Team Meanies…didn't. They went down a level or two, actually, due to poor conduct and…other things. He rubbed it in Gary's face too. Literally."

Ash flushed. "We still hated each other back then…I feel kinda silly about the whole thing now that we're sort of friends. Especially since I accidentally pushed my entire hand through his face…" He shuddered at the memory. "I still think he made that part of him immaterial on purpose. Creepy Ghost."

"Well, they do love scaring people," Leo pointed out. "I think some of them use fear as a source of food. Or a way to get high."

Ash grimaced in disgust. "So he did stuff like that because he was addicted to fear, like it was a drug to him or something? Ew…well, if that's the case, then I'm glad he seems to have kicked the habit, for the most part anyway."

"So, what's this Arackaiser like?" Pikachu asked, curious to learn more about Leo's rival. "Have you been enemies for a long time?"

Leo shrugged. "As long as I've been into gaming. He hates me—or says he does—because I've managed to beat his scores in pretty much every game, MMORPG or otherwise, on the Net, as well as a few outside of it, and showed him up in quite a few other ways, usually getting the better of him whenever we fight one-on-one. He's always sending me death threats and stuff and saying that if we met in real life, he'd kill me."

Ash and Pikachu looked at Leo in alarm. "And that doesn't worry you at all?" asked the concerned Ash.

Leo smirked and waved it off. "Nah, it's just trash talk, serious players say stuff like that all the time, it doesn't mean anything. Just take a look at this IM he sent me a minute ago after I beat Doomsday."

Leo's new friends leaned close to look at a text box the turtle was indicating on his screen. "'Your dumb luck and pathetic skill has granted you victory for the last time, Titan. When next we meet in battle, you shall fall before me, and none shall remember your name. You will be just one more insignificant player consumed by the game of life, forgotten as swiftly as you rose to fame and just as easily replaced by worthier gamers. Quit meddling in the affairs of your betters and stealing the triumphs and prizes that are rightfully mine, or you will find the lives of not just your avatars, but you and your entire real family, in jeopardy,'" Pikachu read out loud, his expression growing more worried by the moment. "And this doesn't bother you in the slightest, Leo?"

Leo shook his head dismissively. "I told you, it's just tough talk from nerds and little girls playing on their parents' computers who are really getting into the roles they play online and trying to sound all badass and hardcore. I say similar things to Arackaiser all the time. Well, not threats quite as dire as his, but that's because I play a heroic character in City of Superguys, and most of the other games I dabble in, while he tends to choose villains for whatever reason."

"And that doesn't bother you either?" Ash asked.

Leo shrugged. "Lots of perfectly nice guys like to indulge some of their darker desires by playing for the evil side now and then. Quite a few of my best buds online play as villains now and then. It can be very cathartic to torment the lives of innocent faceless bystanders without consequences in a video game when your own life isn't feeling so hot at the moment. There's nothing wrong with it. It's not like you're actually hurting real people or anything, because that stuff's just not kosher."

Pikachu grimaced. "I fail to see the appeal in making anyone suffer, imaginary or not."

"That's because you've never played any RTS or civilization games," Leo said with a carefree shrug. "There's tons of Video Game Cruelty Potential in stuff like that."

Ash frowned, suddenly noticing the dark circles under Leo's eyes. When he had woken up earlier that morning and found Leo hard at work on his computer, he had just assumed that Leo had gotten up before him, but now realized that he must have been awake for much longer than that. "How long have you been playing? Don't tell me you stayed up all night to play again!"

Leo rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Hey, epic raids can last hours. Sleep takes less priority over taking part in an exclusive limited-edition event with high stakes and higher rewards. And I won, so that means it was the right decision, wasn't it?"

Ash and Pikachu sighed. "Leo, you have to remember that we're not in the safe confines of Turtle Town anymore," Pikachu said. "We're in the middle of the wilderness, and we need all our wits about us and as much rest as we can get so we can be ready for any threat at any time. Just because we haven't run into any dangerous Pokemon or monsters yet doesn't mean we won't in the near future."

"Not to mention that your victory howl might have told any of those aforementioned bad guys exactly where we were," Ash pointed out.

Leo looked at his feet, chastened. "Sorry. I guess I'm still getting used to this real-life adventuring thing. It's not the same as it is in the games I've beaten."

"That's reality for you," said Ash.

"Well, you've held up better in the last couple of days than we anticipated," Pikachu admitted. "To be honest, I was expecting you to start complaining about how difficult this was and how you wanted to give up and go home after the first day. Most rookies do after their first few days out on their own."

"Most rookies aren't me," said Leo. "And haven't been anticipating going on an adventure all their lives due to a dragon terrorizing their village for the last five years."

"True," Pikachu admitted. "Usually it's barbarians doing the terrorizing. They're much more common."

"Then again, most rookies also don't manage to bring as many…creature comforts along with them as you managed to," Ash said distastefully. "It really is amazing how much technology, games, comic books, and other things you've managed to stuff in that shell of yours along with all the other essentials. How is it that your laptop hasn't run out of power yet with all the time you've spent playing on it?"

"And how is it even getting any reception out here?" Pikachu asked.

"Oh, I have a solar energy converter for my battery pack," Leo explained, holding up a weird contraption with a reflective dish hooked up to his laptop. "So I never have to worry about running out of a charge! Well, so long as it stays sunny, anyway. I also have a ton of spare batteries, though, if that ever becomes a problem. As for the connection, I have a wireless service that can hook me up to just about any satellite in orbit, no matter where I am or how far away it is from me, and link me to the Internet from there. Cost quite a pretty penny, let me tell you!"

Pikachu grunted. "How did you manage to convince us we absolutely needed to bring all this stuff again?"

Leo smirked. "Well, seeing as how my computer helped us make contact with that Professor Oak guy…"

"That I can understand," Ash said grudgingly. "But why, precisely, did we need to take your digital camera?"

"To take pictures and preserve the memories of this adventure for all time," Leo said, as if it were obvious. "And to send home to my parents to show them how we're doing."

"What about your portable TV?" asked Pikachu.

Leo shrugged. "To keep us posted on news around the world, and to stay up to date on all my favorite shows."

"Your space heater that doubles as a night-light?" Ash asked.

"It gets cold and dark out here! Plus, the light can be switched off so as not to attract hostile locals," Leo pointed out. "I'm sure it'll come in handy if we go into any tundra or glacial regions and we can't find any firewood to keep us warm."

Pikachu sighed in exasperation. "That's all well and good…but why, _why_ on Earth did you bring a shell waxer?!"

Leo gave them a blank look. "How else am I going to look my best for when we meet my future love interest/other party members?" Ash and Pikachu facefaulted.

…

Team Aurabolt was on their fourth day out from Turtle Town, and had reached the Mystifying Forest by late afternoon the day before. The Tree of Beginning had been visible for miles before they actually reached the forest, a towering pillar of glittering rock several kilometers tall rising above the cradle of mountains surrounding it and the much smaller trees nestled at its base, crystals and shelves of stone growing outwards from its top like branches and leaves that gave it the appearance of a gigantic stone tree. To further this image, large outcroppings and rock formations jutted from the ground here and there as they approached, looking for all the world like the immense rocky roots of the aforementioned tree. They all admitted it looked really cool, and the ethereal glow from the crystals which emerged from the ground and the roots all over the place made it seem almost as if they had entered another world. (Leo had said it looked like a specific fictional planet, actually, but Ash and Pikachu hadn't really cared to hear about it.)

Leo's enthusiasm at becoming part of a real-life team of rescue heroes hadn't dimmed noticeably during the last few days of travel, much to his teammates' unease. He seemed to enjoy just about everything that they did, no matter how regular or unpleasant it was, and took inordinate pleasure in even the most mundane and dirty aspects of life on the road, even able to find something positive and inspiring about digging a latrine trench. The more veteran Rescuers found it a little creepy. When pressed about his attitude, Leo had said, "Hey, I've spent the last five years living in a town constantly in danger of being eaten by a dragon. I had all sorts of luxuries there, but it was still a gilded cage. Of sorts. This may not be as glamorous as what I've seen on television or in my games, but it's still real, realer than most of my life back home felt sometimes, and I'm enjoying every minute of that reality."

"Even digging latrines?" the amazed Ash had asked.

Leo had shrugged. "I've always wondered how heroes did it while traveling. They never really talked about it much."

"For good reason…" Pikachu had muttered. "Who would want to hear about that sort of thing, anyway?"

"You'd be surprised how many sick people there are out in the world," Leo had said dryly. "Remind me to tell you about 'vore' fans sometime. Or bondage fetishists. Or fangirls (and some boys) who love mass murders just because they're hot and draw pictures or write stories about getting married to them and 'healing' them with love and buttsex. Or…on second thought, don't remind me, just thinking about them makes me want to throw up a little in my mouth…" Ash and Pikachu had sweatdropped and wisely decided not to pursue that line of conversation any further.

While Leo was still a bit of an amateur when it came to combat, Ash had decided to take him under his wing to teach him how to fight better. While Leo theoretically had several hundred fighting moves in his head due to all the kung-fu movies and games he had watched obsessively, it wasn't as easy for him to pull them off in real life. (Actually, most of them were impossible to pull off in real life, even for a Fighting Pokemon, much to Leo's disappointment.) He was somewhat disappointed to hear that it would probably take him years to learn how to do something like shatter a boulder with his fist. "But I want to be able to do that now!" he had protested.

"There are no shortcuts when it comes to training to be a hero," Ash had said.

"What about TMs and HMs?" Leo had asked.

"Well, except for those," Ash had admitted. "But we don't have any of those at the moment, so we'll have to make do with what we have."

"Oh, all right," Leo had said reluctantly. "I don't suppose we could just speed through this with a training montage?"

"No," Ash had said.

Ash thought Leo showed promise, though it was going to take some work to bring him to his full potential. Still, Ash was confident that, in time, Leo could become a good fighter…if he stopped playing on his computer long enough to train when he was supposed to!

Then again, if it weren't for Leo's bringing his computer, they might not have managed to make contact with Professor Oak. Before they had left his hideout on Sharpedo Cape, the Professor had given them a secure untraceable phone number and email address they could contact him at if they should ever need to, assuming they could find a working phone and Internet connection out in the wider world, that is. When asked how he had obtained these secure lines of communication, he had said, "Let's just say I've learned a trick or two from the fine, upstanding citizens of fair Treasure Town when it comes to going outside the legal channels of communication."

"Aren't the Nihilators just as likely to monitor illegal channels as they are legal ones?" Pikachu had asked.

Oak had winked at them. "Did I also mention I've learned a thing or two about hacking from my days in the computer club back at high school?"

"More like _my_ days in the computer club back at high school…" Tracey had grumbled.

So, using Leo's laptop and satellite Internet hook-up, they'd managed to contact the Professor and arrange to speak to him using 'Skipe', a form of telecommunication that allowed two Pokemon with webcameras (which Leo had brought with him, naturally) to speak to each other face-to-face, or rather, screen-to-screen. Leo had been delighted to meet the legendary Professor Oak…and possibly even more so to meet Tracey, who, in a remarkable twist, turned out to be the real-life identity of one of his friends online. They had even gone on a few raids together, and competed in a friendly manner for rare prizes now and then. When an incredulous Pikachu had insisted that there was no way that a coincidence that contrived could actually happen in real life, Leo had said, "Don't worry, I'm sure we'll run into even more contrived coincidences the further we travel. It's par the course in adventures like this. That's how I know we'll bump into your future girlfriend again, possibly at the very next place we're heading for!"

"SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!" Pikachu had shouted.

"You have a girlfriend? Congratulations!" Oak had admonished, much to Pikachu's exasperation. "I'm sure you'll make her a very happy womon someday!"

"What?! No, I…dammit Ash, stop laughing!" Pikachu had snapped.

"Now you know how I feel, bro," Ash had snickered. "Payback's a bitch, isn't she?"

The Professor, in turn, had been delighted to learn they had managed to slay the (not-so-wicked) dragon Tiama and recover the first Star Badge, which they were happy to show him. Much to Pikachu's disbelief, he was also delighted to meet one of the famous DeKappa line, and was more than eager to see Leo's legendary sunglasses, which he went all fanboy over once Leo actually put them on. "They're just _sunglasses_," the samurai had hissed in frustration. "Why's everyone treating them like they're the Beedrill's knees?!"

"Do Beedrill even have knees?" Ash had wondered aloud.

"Well, their legs have multiple joints, if that counts," Tracey had said helpfully.

The Professor was unable to give them much new information about their quest, unfortunately. "I haven't found out anything new about the Nihilators, though I'm still positive I've seen something like that N symbol you mentioned to me somewhere before," the Slowking had told them. "Tracey and I are still looking for data on that, both in the library and through more modern channels. We have also been unable to find any clues as to the whereabouts of the other Star Badges, though we're getting close."

"We think," Tracey had interjected.

"Professor, have you ever heard of a terrorist organization called Annihilation?" Ash had asked the researcher on a whim, recalling his rather disturbing flashback after they had received the first Badge. "Or someone named Lord Null?"

Oak had frowned at those names. "Annihilation? I don't think so…that sounds like something related to the Nihilators. Where did you hear it?"

"Oh, um…something in my past that I remembered suddenly when I saw the first Star Badge," Ash had said hesitantly, which was mostly true.

Oak had been fascinated by this. "Really? Interesting…hmm…I wonder, could your past be tied up with our enemy?"

"I'm definitely not one of them, or a former member, if that's what you're implying," Ash had said quickly.

Oak had shaken his head. "No, no, I'm just wondering if the Nihilators could be responsible for your amnesia…and certain other events in your past you don't as yet remember. Yet. Keep me posted on any other flashbacks to your past you might have, I'd like to hear about whatever you can learn from who you used to be. It might be able to give us some answers about our current dilemmas."

"I hope so," Ash had agreed wholeheartedly.

"I'll look into this in the meantime. Annihilation…hmm…" the Professor had muttered to himself, deep in thought. "_Have_ I heard that somewhere before?"

"Well, it _does_ sound a lot like Nihilator," Leo had pointed out. "But you probably haven't heard of them, since we think they're based in another universe."

Oak had blinked at that. "They are?"

"Leo!" Pikachu had hissed angrily.

"Huh? You mean he didn't know? Uh, whoops," Leo had said in embarrassment. "Just forget I said anything, okay?"

Of course, they didn't forget, and in due course the truth of Ash's origins was reluctantly revealed. "So you are a human who was sent to our world and transformed into a Pokemon? Incredible!" Oak had cried upon hearing the full story. "I've never heard of anything like this before outside of legends and fairy tales…"

"I have," Tracey had said.

"Me too," Leo had added.

Pikachu had rolled his eyes. "In _real_ life, not in fanfiction or whatever it is you guys spend all your time obsessing over."

"Considering that we live in a ridiculously big Omniverse with billions of parallel universes right next to us and a number of Pokemon in our own universe that possess the ability to travel between dimensions, I'm surprised it doesn't happen _more_ often, actually," Tracey had said.

Leo had nodded in agreement. "That's what I keep telling them!" Pikachu had facepalmed, naturally.

"So you're a human from a world where humans and Pokemon lived, worked, and fought together, much like our ancestors did ages ago…but you don't remember a thing about it?" Oak had asked Ash.

Ash had shaken his head. "Not really, no. Just bits and pieces, and faint memories of a few people that I think might have been important to me. Sorry."

Oak had sighed in disappointment. "Oh well…well, if you remember more, I would appreciate you telling me, it's one thing to read about what life back then was like, and another to hear about it from a reliable witness!"

"Uh, but how do you know Ash's world was—er, is," Leo had corrected himself when Ash glared at him. "Anything like ours used to be?"

"Actually, from the things Ash told me already from his occasional flashbacks before the latest one he got from the Star Badge, I thought his world sounded a lot like how ours used to be before the great disaster that wiped out mankind," Pikachu had said.

"Oh, never mind then," Leo had said. "Though shouldn't it be more like 'sounded', since his world is probably-"

"Dammit, my world has not been destroyed!" Ash had snapped, desperately hoping that was indeed the case.

"Sorry," Leo had muttered.

"Well, I'll look into this 'Annihilation' group just in case…there might be a connection with the Nihilators," Oak had said, getting them back on track. "By which I mean I'll have Tracey look at it, because I'm still busy trying to translate those inscriptions I found near the door under Treasure Town."

"Gee, thanks," Tracey had grumbled. "Why do I always have to do the grunt work?"

"Because you're my assistant, of course," Oak had replied. "It's what you're paid to do!"

Tracey had blinked at that. "You're paying me?"

"Maybe I could help?" Leo had offered. "I know a ton of languages, though most of them are fictional…"

"Do you know anything about deciphering hieroglyphs, pictograms, or dead alien runes?" the Professor had asked. "Or translating ancient codes in languages long forgotten by mortal Pokemon?"

"Well, no," Leo had admitted. "But I can speak five varieties of Elvish!"

"I know seventeen, that hasn't helped me much," Tracey had lamented.

Pikachu had groaned and put his face in his hands. "Too many nerds…"

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Tracey and Leo had said simultaneously.

"Anyway, Professor, is there anything you can tell us about the Tree of Beginning?" Ash had interrupted. "As we've mentioned earlier, it's where we're heading now. The map says the second Star Badge is there."

"Hmm, yes, the Tree of Beginning…" Oak had mused. "Well, there are all sorts of stories about that place."

Leo had snorted. "Tell me about it! I've read on some forums that it's where life on our planet originated…which conflicts with the legends surrounding the Cave of Origin, and a bunch of other spots around the world, _all_ of which claim to be where life began."

Oak had nodded in agreement. "More recent research has indicated that it is probably not where life first sprung forth on our world, but the name stuck so we keep calling it the 'Tree of Beginning' anyway. Historical records and soil samples indicate that it is one of the oldest natural formations on our planet, having survived all sorts of disasters and extinction events and continental shifts and even the great catastrophe which wiped out humankind almost a thousand years ago. It's not as old as the Law Rock, naturally, but then again, the Law Rock isn't alive…at least, we don't think it is. The Tree appears to have some form of rudimentary life to it, since it has actually grown over periods of time despite being a giant hunk of rock, rather than eroding away like most other mountains and formations. It isn't sentient, though, or at least not as we would perceive sentience. Quite a few Pokemon live inside the tree and coexist symbiotically with it, protecting it and keeping it whole and healthy in return for sustenance and a safe place to live. This form of existence has fostered a truce of sorts between all the myriad kinds of Pokemon who live in the Tree, since they all rely on each other to keep their home alive. As a result, the Tree has become a safe haven for Pokemon from all over the world, a place where they can find shelter and escape from wars or barbarian invasions or whatever difficulty they might have had in their homelands. Even Pokemon originally from neighboring countries that are always fighting have managed to find peace with each other inside the Tree. I suppose one could classify it as a 'city' much like several of the other large civilized population centers around the world, other than the fact that this community exists inside a giant semi-organic stone and crystal tree rather than in artificially constructed dwellings. And they don't have any visible form of post-Stone Age technology."

"What? No Internet or television?! How can they live?!" a horrified Leo had asked.

"Not _everyone_ needs or uses those things," an annoyed Pikachu had said. "We get along just fine without those in Pokemon Square."

"But don't we have those back home?" Ash had asked.

"Yes, but the majority of us aren't as obsessed with them as Leo is," Pikachu had replied.

"It is believed that the reason they adhere to a low-tech lifestyle is because they either do not think technology to be the 'natural' way for a Pokemon to live; much like the barbarians and other Pokemon who choose to live in the wilderness," Oak had continued. "Or they're afraid that advanced technology would disrupt the delicate natural balance that keeps their home alive."

Ash and Pikachu had both given Leo a stern look. "Leo, you understand what that means, don't you?" Ash had asked.

Leo had sighed and nodded. "Yeah, yeah, I'll turn everything off when we get there. But those luddites had better not try to break my stuff due to a 'technology is evil' mindset or something, or I'm gonna open a can of whupass on their heinies!"

Ash and Pikachu had flinched. "Never say anything like that ever again, or I will hurt you," Pikachu had said through gritted teeth. "Painfully."

"Do you think the Tree's inhabitants will give us any problems?" Ash had asked the Professor. "I mean, are they hostile to outsiders or anything?"

"No, but they don't encourage tourism, for fear it'll harm the tree," Oak had explained. "It's a very delicate and unique organism, after all; the only giant solar-powered silicate-based lifeform on the planet."

"Don't all the other Rock-type Pokemon count?" Leo had asked.

"They're not giant or solar-powered," Oak had pointed out.

"Onix are pretty big," Leo had countered. "And there are a few not-quite-extinct Fossil Pokemon that are both Rock and Grass-types, and so get power from the sun."

"And are any of them as big as a giant tree?" Oak had replied.

"Good point," Leo had conceded.

"In any event, they shouldn't give you any problems, as long as you make it clear that you have no intention of harming them or their home," the Professor had continued. "If there should be any misunderstandings, you'll be in quite a bit of trouble, as you'll have to deal with the residents, the tree's own naturally-occurring 'antibody' defenses, and the three legendary golems Regirock, Regice, and Registeel."

"Cool," Leo had said, which was probably not the proper way to react to this information.

Ash and Pikachu's ears had perked up at the mention of the three golems. "Hey, we know those guys!" Ash had said.

Oak had blinked in surprise. "You do?"

Pikachu nodded in agreement. "Yeah, we met them…and fought them…in Buried Relic back in Kanjohenn a few months ago. We beat them, though it was a tough battle."

"You did?! Really?! Man, you guys are so damn cool!" Leo had cried. "Dang, I'm eve more glad than ever that I joined your party. Maybe I'll see all the other Legendary Pokemon too! And wipe the floor with them!"

Pikachu had rolled his eyes. "Keep dreaming, Leo…"

"You didn't tell me you'd encountered the Regis!" Oak had cried in astonishment.

Ash had shrugged. "We've had a lot of adventures. It slipped our mind."

"Hmm…that's unusual…I wonder what they were doing in Buried Relic…" Oak had muttered to himself. "I didn't know they ever migrated…"

"The Tree is where they usually live?" Pikachu had asked.

Oak had nodded. "Yes, they were supposedly placed there by Mew ages ago as a reward for services rendered when they turned against their maker and…Er, perhaps I should back up a bit, I'm getting ahead of myself. According to legend, Mew planted the crystal seed that became the Tree countless ages ago. The reason She did this is unknown to scholars, though a common 'joke' theory is that She built it as a vacation home, since there have been various sightings of Her around the vicinity of the Tree throughout history. She hasn't been around there for centuries, however, which is probably why so many Pokemon have felt safe making their homes there in more recent times. Or maybe She encouraged them to move in so the place could get some use while She was out. Nobody knows for sure, and the residents are rather closed-mouthed about the subject."

"What does this have to do with the Golems?" Ash had asked.

Oak had blinked. "Eh? Oh, right, the Golems. Well, that's a bit of a complicated story which involves the legend of Regigas and the formation of the continents and a few ancient wars, but…to sum it all up, basically there was this giant Pokemon called Regigas who was built to protect the planet but went insane during the Crisis Wars and had to be sealed up by its more clear-headed minions; the Golems Regirock, Regice, and Registeel; to save the Earth. Having proven their loyalty to the forces of good, the Golems were rewarded with semi-divinity and given the job of tending the young Tree of Beginning."

"How is that a reward?" Ash had asked.

"They were built to do specific tasks, so the best reward they could imagine was probably getting a new and better job than the one they had before," Pikachu had reasoned.

"I can imagine a lot better rewards than that," Leo had complained.

"If it's their job to protect the Tree, why were they in Buried Relic?" Ash had asked.

"They didn't tell you when you fought them?" Oak had asked.

"We didn't really ask," Pikachu had admitted sheepishly.

"Well, I suppose it makes sense for the second Star Badge to be in a place like that," Tracey had commented. "If they were tasked to be guardians of the Tree, what's one more thing to protect?"

Leo had groaned. "We're gonna have to fight them, aren't we?"

"Maybe not," Ash had reasoned. "We beat them before and got on…well, somewhat good terms with them back when they were in Buried Relic. They were pretty nice guys for the most part, not nearly as obstinate or emotionless as you would have expected them to be. Maybe we can convince them to let us have the Badge for a good cause?"

"Or better yet, leave it exactly where it is, under the safest guard it could possibly have," Pikachu had suggested. "And just ask them if they can let us use it briefly to find the next Badge on our map before it goes back into their custody. I don't see any reason they wouldn't let us do something like that."

"Unless they're extremely anal…which most guardians are," Leo had groused. "Oh well, at least I can beat one of them up." Everyone had stared at him. "What? Regirock is weak against Water, isn't he?"

"Yeah, but…he's a little out of your league, Leo," Ash had said awkwardly.

"Not after you put me through training from Hell he won't be!" Leo had said eagerly.

Ash had stared at him. "Huh?"

"You're going to train me to be a better fighter, right?" Leo had reminded Ash. "So if we train intensively, I should be more than ready for Regirock and just about any other guy by the time we reach the Tree!"

Ash had sweatdropped. "Leo, it doesn't work like that. It takes months of hard work and regular training to become a better fighter, not a few days."

Leo had blinked. "Really? Darn, I thought I'd only need a week to become the ultimate fighter. Yet another thing anime has lied to me about…" The others sweatdropped.

"So, anyway…is there anything else you can tell us about the Tree, Professor?" Pikachu had asked to change the subject.

"Mmm, not that I can think of," Oak had said. "Much of the nature of the Tree is shrouded in mystery since, as I said before, they don't exactly approve of tourists…or nosy researchers. But if you find out anything new, be sure to let me know, I'd love to hear about it! And rub the information in the face of my arrogant colleagues…" They had stared at him. "What? Academics is a very competitive field, you know! Any advantage you can gain over your rivals is practically a godsend!"

"Sounds about as competitive as getting higher up in the Rescue Team rankings," Ash had commented.

"And getting high scores in just about every online game I've ever played," Leo commented. He frowned, a thought suddenly occurring to him. "Wait, you guys all compete against each other to see how many people you can rescue and how many missions you can complete, possibly risking the lives of innocent Pokemon just so you can obtain a higher social standing?" Leo had asked.

Ash and Pikachu had fidgeted at that. "Well…I wouldn't put it like _that_…" Pikachu had started slowly, until Leo had interrupted energetically.

"Cool! This is definitely the career for me. I'm all about aggressive competition and helping people!" His friends had sweatdropped.

"It would have been the career for me, too," Tracey had said wistfully. "If only I weren't so physically, well, weak."

"Don't you know Sketch, an ability that allows you to learn and mimic the attacks of your opponents?" Ash had asked.

"The attacks my enemies use aren't always very effective against themselves," Tracey had pointed out dryly. "Ever seen what happens when you pull a Flamethrower on a Charmeleon? Yeah, that's right, absolutely nothing. Except that you make it even angrier than normal because you stole its attack, and then things get _really_ ugly."

"Good point," Ash had admitted.

After this conversation, the Professor had advised against them contacting him this way too often in the future, in case the Nihilators somehow found out about it and used their line of communication to track them both down. He told them he'd keep trying to find any helpful information for their quest, and asked them to call him again after they'd gotten the second Badge. After that, he had signed off, and our heroes had continued on their journey…which just about brings us up to the present.

…

"So, anyway," Pikachu said after they had recovered from Leo's ridiculous assertion. "We should keep going. I think we're getting closer to the Tree. If we keep up the pace, we should be there in a couple more days."

Leo sighed in annoyance. "Man, why's this forest got to be so big…and that Tree has to be so far away? It keeps looking like we're getting closer, but then it just turns out to be even bigger than we thought and we have an awful lot more ground to cover. Stupid laws of depth perception."

"Well, look on the bright side, at least we haven't had any encounters with bandits or monsters or barbarians," Ash pointed out. "Our journey so far has been pretty peaceful, actually, almost surprisingly so."

"That's a good thing?" Leo complained. "How'm I ever gonna get enough fighting experience to beat the really strong bad guys without lots of random encounters to toughen me up?"

"By training with me," Ash said.

"But that's gonna take _forever…_" Leo grumbled. He sighed. "Oh well, level grinding usually does. So, what's on the agenda for today, teach?"

Ash crossed his arms. "Getting better control of your Rapid Spin. You've managed to develop a good enough balance to keep from getting dizzy or throwing up when you're done with it, but you still seem to be unable to initiate it without a literal kickstart. Let's see if we can do something about that."

Leo nodded, his eyes narrowing in determination. "Right! Let me just get my shades-"

"Your sunglasses may be powerful magical artifacts, but you can't rely on them for everything, especially since you haven't unlocked most of their hidden powers yet," Ash interjected. "So far, you're using them as a confidence crutch rather than developing your own ability. Let's try training without them today and see how well you can perform."

"But without those shades, I'm nothing!" Leo protested. "Just another chubby nerd turtle, with nothing special to him other than a head crammed with tons of trivia and a shell stuffed with high-tech goodies."

Pikachu shook his head as he leaned back against a tree. "Wrong. For someone who studies heroes as much as you do, I'd have thought you'd already know that it's not the weapon that makes a warrior, but the heart which drives him to do great things. I was a hero before I obtained the legendary sword I currently wield, and I would still be one even without it."

Leo rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Oh yeah…I forgot about that. I guess I have sort of been wearing the shades when I don't have to as a confidence booster."

"Even though so far they can't do anything other than give you Pokedex information…" Pikachu muttered under his breath.

"Anyway, we don't need to train this instant. Let's try and cover some ground first, we can get to work when we stop for a lunch break," Ash suggested.

"Okay," Leo said, mildly disappointed. He preferred training to walking, even though both were rather physically grueling.

After packing up camp, they set off and walked through the forest for a few hours, admiring the quiet and the serene, alien beauty of the woods around them. Leo wanted to try and break off some of the crystals jutting up here and there and either keep them as souvenirs or sell them for profit, something that both his companions strongly discouraged. "What's wrong with wanting a little extra cash?" Leo asked. "Adventuring parties can always use some more to buy all the best and most expensive gear."

"Would you condone knocking down a tree and selling its wood for Poke'?" Pikachu asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Of course not, but trees are alive," Leo argued. "Well, sort of. Crystals aren't, at least not in our world."

"Regular crystals aren't, but these seem to be growing because of the Tree of Beginning, which most certainly _is _alive," Pikachu pointed out. "Considering how little we know of the way the Tree's biology works, there's no telling what could happen if we tried to break off some of its crystals. Probably nothing, but it might also aggravate the inhabitants if they see us carrying around pieces of their Tree, no matter how far-flung from the source they are."

Leo blanched. "Ah," he said. "Good point. We don't want to give them any more reason to distrust us than they might already have."

Ash's ears twitched, and he stiffened. Pikachu frowned. "What is it?"

"Several Pokemon are coming towards us," Ash replied. He closed his eyes and immediately scanned the area with his Aura-sight.

"The locals giving us a warm welcome?" Leo asked nervously.

Ash started, and his eyes flew open. "Worse than that," he said. "I saw black Auras."

The other two gasped. "Black Auras? As in Shadow Pokemon?!" Leo cried. "Holy crap, that's not good!"

Pikachu immediately drew his sword. "What are _they_ doing here? Did they already know there was a Badge here?"

Ash shook his head. "I don't know…but there aren't many of them. It's a small group, only four of them. And they're chasing a regular Pokemon; an Eevee, about ten or twelve years old and in pretty bad shape. They're coming our way."

"You can tell the species and age of a distant Pokemon just by seeing its Aura?" asked an impressed Leo.

Ash smirked. "When I'm not training you, I'm studying my book. I'm learning a little more everyday." He glanced around. "Let's get behind some cover, they don't know we're here yet."

"You mean we're not going to help that poor little Eevee?" asked the appalled Leo.

Pikachu shook his head. "Of course we are, Leo, but if we hide we can get the drop on them and avoid a drawn-out battle."

"Oh," the turtle said, understanding now. "You don't think you can take them in a straight fight? There's only four of them…"

"And there might be more behind them, though I haven't detected any yet," Ash pointed out. "In addition, Shadow Pokemon are not to be taken lightly. Pikachu and I were able to beat the last bunch of Nihilators we encountered, but if _all_ of these four can go into Hyper Mode rather than just one we could be in for a hard time. Especially since I still don't understand the technique to cure Shadow Pokemon yet." He looked above him. "Those trees look like a pretty good hiding place, don't you think, bro?"

Pikachu nodded in agreement. "Definitely." The two brothers ran towards a couple of trees and immediately began bounding up their sides, jumping from branch to branch or in some cases simply running straight up the side of the trunk. In seconds they were hidden in the foliage high above ground, and Leo was left all by his lonesome self below.

"Hey!" he yelled up at his teammates. "How'm I supposed to do that?!" His head whirled around as his ears, the weakest in Team Aurabolt, heard the crackling of brush and the panting of breath and growls that told him that the Nihilators and whoever they were chasing were almost there. Frantically, he ran to another tree, jumped as high as he could, and tried to grab purchase on the bark. Naturally, he slid back down to the ground at once. He desperately tried a few more times to climb the tree before giving up and, realizing there was no more time left (and that turtles really were not meant to climb), ran over to a large pile of fallen branches and dead leaves, burrowed into it, and retracted into his shell, doing his very best to look less like a poorly-hidden Squirtle and more like a big orange and tan rock.

He managed to conceal himself just in time, as only a few moments later, the Eevee, gasping for breath, ran by. Leo's eyes widened from within his shell at the condition of the little fox; its fur was torn and matted, dried blood was encrusted and stained on several spots all over its body, dozens of scars and brands littered its bare back, and it looked as if most of its left ear had been torn out or bitten off. Leo did not have much more time than this to marvel at the poor creature's bad health as the Eevee, exhausted from its long flight, stumbled and fell, just in time for the Nihilators right on its tail to catch up to it.

Even if Leo had not already known that these were evil Pokemon, he would have found the Nihilators to be rather fearsome creatures. There were four in all, just as Ash had sensed; a fierce Linoone with long bloodstained claws, sleek fur, and black armor on its forelimbs, head, and back; a hovering black-painted Magnezone with an ominously glowing red eye and screws and antenna and magnets crackling with electricity; a sinister-looking Mr. Mime who had colored herself (yes, it was a girl, there were female Mr. Mimes) monochrome save for her blood-red cheeks and wore black clawed gloves, several belts, and a spiked helmet; and a Yanma who wore no armor because that would probably make it difficult to fly but nevertheless had a few black spiked bands wrapped around its limbs and tail. All four of them also bore a medallion, tattoo, or brand somewhere on their bodies or armor with the N-shaped mark Ash and Pikachu had described to him that encircled a globe and symbolized the Nihilators' desire to dominate the world. He wondered what they must look like to Ash, who could perceive their Auras. Did they appear even eviler to Ash than they did to him?

The Eevee, realizing its pursuers arrived, struggled to its feet and started to run again, but the Mr. Mime (Or should it have been Ms. Mime?) extended a hand and the little fox found itself trapped in a transparent, nearly invisible box. "Hehehe. Going somewhere?" the dark clown asked in a faux sweet voice. (Weren't mimes supposed to be silent?)

"You put up a nice chase, little slave…but you couldn't evade us forever. You're ours now!" the Linoone gloated.

"N-no…please…let me go…" the Eevee whimpered, scratching frantically at the sides of its cage. "I have to get out of here…"

The Mr. Mime grinned evilly and caused the walls to close in on the poor Eevee, squeezing the tired and wounded fox and causing him to cry out in pain, much to the amusement of the Nihilators. "After we spent the last few hours working so hard to catch you? I don't think so. You aren't going anywhere. All your friends would be _so_ unhappy if you left without them ever getting to see you again," the humanoid clown said.

"Ezzpecially becauzze then we couldn't throw them the zzpectacle of a public execution!" the Yanma buzzed happily, darting about in the air.

"Assuming the Doctor does not decide to use you as an…_experiment_ first," the Magnezone droned in a metallic monotone.

The mention of the 'Doctor' seemed to embolden the Eevee. "The Doctor…my sister! What did he do to her?!" he asked angrily.

The Mr. Mime frowned and constricted the walls further, forcing the Eevee to curl up into a ball to keep from getting squished. "You're not exactly in a position to demand anything from us, little one," she said coolly.

"And it's not like we know, either," the Linoone said. He snickered. "Hell, we don't _want_ to know what he did to her, and you're better off not knowing either! The things he's done to countless Pokemon in the name of science terrify even us…and that's not getting into all the things his _assistant_ likes to do!"

"Is he not fond of little girls?" the Magnezone asked.

The Yanma chuckled. "He'zz fond of _anything_ that he can fuck! It doezzn't even need to be alive for him to get off on it!" The Nihilators laughed at the horrified expression this brought to the Eevee's face.

Leo was equally fascinated, excited, repulsed, and horrified. These were the very first truly evil Pokemon he had ever encountered outside of his games…well, aside from Mewgle, but he was a demon and evil by nature so it was arguable if he counted or not. He was disgusted and frightened by how vile the Nihilators and the organization they worked for appeared to be, and at the same time more than a little thrilled that he was going to get a chance to actually fight real bad guys and take them down a peg or two, saving a helpless bystander in the process. He had almost despaired of ever doing something like that in real life. This was so cool! Now…how were he and the others going to save that poor kid?

He tried looking upwards, but was unable to really see very far above him from his current position, so was uncertain what it was that Ash and Pikachu intended to do. And if he didn't know what they were going to do, how could he help them? He resolved to just wait and prepare himself and act if he saw an opportunity. That's what real heroes did, right? And he was supposed to be one now, or at least a hero-in-training.

Fumbling about in his shell as quietly as he could, he reached for his sunglasses. Maybe he was just using them as a crutch, but this was one moment when he definitely needed as much confidence as he could get.

"Anyway, orders are to bring you back alive," the Mr. Mime said. She grinned evilly, and suddenly the psychic walls began to press in even harder on the Eevee, causing him to scream in agony as they crushed his sides. "Nobody said you had to be in good condition, however." Shocked, Leo was about to move, when suddenly-

The Linoone glanced up. "Wait!"

The other Nihilators looked at him. "What is it?" asked the Magnezone.

The Linoone frowned and sniffed the air a few times. "I smell something. Or _someone. _I didn't notice earlier because I was too focused on the slave, but…we're not alone."

Leo tensed, guessing (rightly) that now was the time to act. As the Nihilators warily started to look around for potential threats, Ash and Pikachu abruptly dropped down behind the villains and struck without warning. Ash hit the Magnezone with an Aura-infused Brick Break punch which shattered the Magnet Area Pokemon's rather high natural defenses and also smashed a huge dent into its backside, soon accompanied by one in the front as the living magnet slammed into a tree hard enough to crumple its face in and cause it to fall to the ground as a misshapen lump of sparking metal. Pikachu thrust his sword at the Mr. Mime, but the Linoone leaped into the way without warning (more to attack Pikachu than to defend the clown) and took the blow meant for the Psychic, splitting him in two. The Yanma started buzzing its wings fast enough to create a Supersonic attack which caused both heroes to flinch briefly as it assaulted their sensitive ears, which might have given the startled Mr. Mime the opportunity to summon up a powerful Psychic attack…

If Leo hadn't abruptly gathered his courage and pushed himself out of the pile he was hiding in with a thrust from his long tail, using the momentum to whirl into a Rapid Spin and hit the clown in the neck, twisting her turned head so far back that it snapped and killed her instantly. The Yanma glanced over at its dead teammate in surprise, giving Pikachu the opportunity to hit it with a lethal Thunderbolt and drop it to the ground, where Ash stomped its head in just to make sure it was actually dead. (It was.) The Eevee, freed from his psychic box thanks to Leo's killing the Mr. Mime, stared at the bloody results of Team Aurabolt's actions in amazement. "Whoa…"

Leo's shell continued flying, ricocheting off a couple of trees, shattering a large crystal formation, and caroming off the battered Magnezone as it struggled to levitate off the ground, knocking it out again and putting another dent in its hull. The shell then skipped a few times off the ground before finally skidding to a halt at the feet of the dead Mr. Mime, throwing up a lot of dirt and mulch in the process. When nothing else happened after a moment, Leo cautiously pulled himself out of his shell and wobbled to his feet. "Woo! That was fun. I think I need to practice that some more, I still feel a little dizz-" He cut off in mid-sentence as he stared at the three dead Shadow Pokemon before him, including the one he had just killed. "Y?"

Ash and Pikachu exchanged worried glances. They had known that they were going to have to help Leo deal with this at some point, but had hoped it wouldn't be so soon. A warrior's first kill was always his hardest. "Leo?" Ash asked cautiously.

"What are you feeling?" Pikachu asked warily.

Leo's hands trembled. He wrenched off his sunglasses to stare at the Mr. Mime's corpse, then, realizing he couldn't really see it without any eyewear, put on his regular glasses. "O-oh my gosh," he stammered. "H-holy fucking shit. I just…I just…I just _killed_ someone! I killed an actual living flesh and blood Pokemon who'll never draw breath again! I _murdered_ a horrible evil sadistic monster clown…who was torturing a helpless innocent Pokemon…and rubbing his sister's no doubt horrible fate in his face…and probably had no family or friends or redeeming qualities since it was a Shadow Pokemon and, according to Ash, must have willingly allowed its heart to be filled with darkness, since if it had been forced into becoming a Shadow it would have lacked the capacity for rational thought…and…" Leo blinked. Frowned. "All of a sudden, most of my guilt is fading away…is that supposed to happen?"

Ash and Pikachu sweatdropped. "Well, he certainly resolved that crisis more quickly than I had expected," Ash said blandly.

"This isn't really how you're supposed to feel after killing someone…" Pikachu grumbled. "But at least he's not treating it like it's a game or acting like he enjoyed doing it or something. Well, I'm sure he'll feel differently if he ever kills someone whose morality is less ambiguous or isn't as obviously a monster…"

"M-Mr. Turtle, look out!" the Eevee cried.

"Huh?" Leo said, just before he got blasted by a Spark attack from the damaged Magnezone, who had managed to recover somewhat and limply float back into the air. "GYAAAARGGGGHHH!"

"LEO!" Ash and Pikachu cried in alarm.

The Magnezone's body trembled, sparks and arcs of electricity crackling all over its battered form as it struggled to keep itself in the air. Its central red eye had been snuffed out, along with the one on its left shoulder, and it had lost the screw on its right shoulder and two of its magnets. It was barely able to hold itself together. "T-t-terminate. Terminate! TERMINATE!" It shook violently, and suddenly was engulfed in a very visible writhing black Aura. Its mass expanded slightly, metal spikes bursting out from its skin at various points on its body, including from its damaged parts, so that the Magnet Area Pokemon was now big, black, and bristling with spines that all buzzed and hummed with deadly electricity and practically oozed darkness. "TERMINAAAAAAAAATE!"

"It's gone into Hyper Mode!" Ash yelled.

"You think?" Pikachu grunted. "Leo, are you all right?"

"I'm…uh…fine," Leo said as he staggered to his feet, his skin a little blackened from the Spark attack. "It's just…urk…a flesh wound!" He coughed up some smoke.

"Terminate. Terminate. Terminate," the Magnezone buzzed, its single remaining eye glowing red before firing a powerful energy beam at the group. Pikachu managed to block the blast with his sword, though he found himself pushed back several feet as he struggled to deflect the beam.

"Since when do Magnezone have lasers?!" he cried.

"Since they became corrupted by darkness!" Ash said, forming an Aura Sphere in his hands and hurling it at the Magnezone. The mutated monster floated out of the way of the attack then pointed its remaining magnet at Ash. To his surprise, the Lucario suddenly rose into the air. "Whoa! Get me down!"

"Is it using a psychic attack?" asked the surprised Pikachu.

"No, his Hyper Mode's increased his magnetic powers to the point where he can control the base metals in our bloodstreams!" Leo said, looking at the Magnezone through his sunglasses. "Fortunately, he can only do it to one Pokemon at a time thanks to only having one magnet limb left. Because of all the other damage that's been done to him, if we can destroy his antenna, he'll lose what little control of his power he has left and blow himself to smithereens!"

"Wow," said the rather impressed Pikachu. "I've misjudged that ability of yours, Leo. That's actually very helpful." He brandished his sword. "Let's see if we can shut this thing down once and for all!" He charged towards the Magnezone.

The Electric and Steel Pokemon gestured with its magnet, and Ash was flung through the air towards Pikachu. "Waaah! Look out!"

Pikachu jumped into the air, kicked off Ash's body (driving the Lucario into the dirt in the process) and soared at the Magnezone. He raised his sword to deliver a killing blow…

And was frozen in place when the Magnezone used its powers to grab hold of his very metallic sword. The Shadow Pokemon wrenched the blade from the mouse's grip and blasted him with its laser beam, flinging him into a tree. "Gaaahh!"

"Terminate," droned the Magnezone, using its magnetism to turn the sacred sword towards Team Aurabolt.

"Oh crap, this can't be good!" Leo cried as Thunder Fang, now liberated from its destined wielder, started slicing through the air towards them as if possessed--which, technically, it was—as the Magnezone used its powers to control it.

"Don't worry," Ash said, picking himself up off the ground. "It can only pierce the skin of evil creatures, it can't hurt us!"

Leo yelped and retracted his head into his shell as the sword shot towards him, passing through the space that had just been occupied by his cranium and imbedding itself in the tree behind him. "Are you sure about that?!"

"Well, reasonably sure," Ash said uncertainly as the sword tore itself free from the tree, cutting it in half in the process, and flew towards him. He clapped his hands together against the flat of the blade, catching it only inches away from his face…and cried out in pain as it electrified him. The sword might have been only able to pierce evil flesh, but it still felt free to zap anyone who tried to touch it that was not of the Thunderblade line.

"'Reasonably' isn't good enough!" Leo yelled frantically, barely managing to jump out of the way of a black lightning bolt the monstrous Magnezone hurled at him.

The Magnezone's assault ended when Pikachu, recovered from his collision with the tree, arced through the air towards the Shadow Pokemon and brought his Iron Tail down on the fiend with as much force as he could bear. Unfortunately, due to the Magnezone's dark Aura, Pikachu's attack was unable to cut into the Nihilator's metal hide. Focusing its eye on him, the Magnezone grabbed Pikachu magnetically and hurled him at his friends.

However, in doing so, it lost control of Thunder Fang, allowing a grimacing Ash to drop it and hurl an Aura Sphere in the monster's face. The Magnezone turned its attention away from Pikachu to fire a laser at the Sphere, exploding it before it could reach it. However, while its eye was turned away, Ash caught Pikachu, picked up a surprised Leo, and hurled him at the Magnezone. "Waaaah! What're you doing?!" he wailed.

"Making it up as I go along!" Ash yelled as Pikachu scrambled out of his arms and reclaimed his sword. Just as Ash had hoped, the Magnezone grabbed Leo magnetically and hurled him away…allowing Pikachu to slash his sword through the air and send a Vacuum Cut flying towards the Magnet Area Pokemon. The floating mass of metal was too focused on lifting the rather heavy Leo (and all of his high-tech doodads) to notice the energy blade until it was too late. The wave struck the Magnezone and pierced its dark Aura, temporarily dissipating it due to the innate holiness of the weapon the attack had been launched from. The Magnezone, temporarily defenseless, flinched and floated back a few feet as it tried to reform its shield.

In the process, Leo was dropped from the air and landed on his head. "Ow!" He groaned as he got back to his feet. "Okay, if ANY of the save data on my memory cards got scrambled by that thing's magnetics, I'll kill you all."

"Sorry," Ash said apologetically.

"Leo, while it's shield is down, hit it with a Water attack!" Pikachu commanded. "With all the electricity shooting out from it, some water should short it out and allow us to finish it off!"

"Huh? Ooh, great idea," Leo said.

He inhaled deeply and spat out a…rather weak Water Gun (they were still trying to work on raising his attack power) which nevertheless splashed the Magnezone, reacting to the electricity crackling all over its body and causing it to jitter and dance and shake all about as it was shorted out by its own current. "T-t-t-term-m-m-m-inaaaate!" it wailed.

As it writhed in pain, Pikachu ran towards the monster, leaped over it, and lashed out with his sword as he passed by. There was a flash, and he landed on the ground behind it, sword extended stiffly from his side. He calmly stood up and sheathed the blade.

At first, it seemed as if Pikachu had missed…until the antenna on top of the Magnezone's head snapped and fell off. And that's when the Shadow Pokemon _really_ lost it. "T-t-t-t-term-m-m-m-min-n-n-n-n-nate! T-t-t-t-t-terminate-ate-ate-ate! Terminaaaaaaaate!" it cried as it fell to the ground, convulsing wildly as tremendous arcs of electricity cascaded off its form, no longer able to regulate the flow of energy throughout its body. Its dark Aura tore itself apart as gleaming shafts of light began to radiate from the Magnezone's beaten black hull. "It's gonna blow!" Leo yelled in alarm.

"Not here it's not!" Ash said, charging Aura into his extremities. With a yell, he charged forward and punted the Magnezone high into the air, the crackling blue flames around his feet protecting him from the high voltage emitted by the out-of-control monster. The Shadow Pokemon flew up into the air, clearing the treetops and vanishing into the blue skies above…until it finally exploded with a tremendous thunderclap and burst of flame that shook the forest and could be seen for miles away. Branches were blown back, crystals shattered, and leaves were shredded by the gusts of wind generated by the blast. However, the explosion, though great in size, was very short-lived, as were its after-effects, and in but a few moments it faded and peace was restored to the woods.

"Duuuude," said an impressed Leo.

"Wow," said the awestruck Eevee.

"That takes care of that," Pikachu said approvingly. "That wasn't nearly as bad as our last battle with a Shadow Pokemon in Hyper Mode, was it?"

"You can say that again," Ash agreed.

"Assuming none of my hard drives were erased. I mentioned I'll kill you if they were, right?" Leo asked.

"Who _are_ you guys?" asked the amazed Eevee.

"We're Team Aurabolt, from Pokemon Square in Kanjohenn," Ash said. "And who're you, little guy?"

The Eevee narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Why should I tell you?"

"Well, we just saved your life, a little common courtesy would be nice-" Leo said until the others glared at him.

The Eevee tried to pick himself up and gasped as one of his ribs broke. "You're hurt," Pikachu realized, though he supposed it was fairly obvious. "Here, we've got some medicine. We'll fix you up."

"N-no, I'm fine, you don't need to…ugh!" the Eevee grunted in pain as he tried to scramble away and one of his legs, sprained and crushed by the Mr. Mime's attack and his long run from peril, gave out beneath him. "I…don't really have a choice, do I?" he asked wearily.

"Nope," Ash said, pulling some potions and other medical supplies out of his knapsack. "Not in the slightest."

…

After they'd applied several Potions and Ethers to the Eevee's wounds and bandaged up some of the more critically injured parts of his body, he seemed a lot more willing to open up to his rescuers. "My name is Michael," he told them. "Michael Treesentinel, next in line to be Protector of the Tree of Beginning and future leader of its Caretakers."

Ash smiled as he finished resetting Michael's injured leg. "It's nice to meet you, Michael. My name is Ash, Aura Guardian in training. If I have a last name, I don't really know it at the moment."

Michael's eyes widened in amazement. "An Aura Guardian? Wow…wait, you don't know your last name? Why not?"

"It's a long story," Ash said sheepishly.

"My name is Pikachu Thunderblade, the latest samurai warrior of the Thunderblade clan to wield the sacred sword Thunder Fang," Pikachu introduced himself to Michael.

Michael blinked. "A Pikachu named Pikachu?"

Pikachu chuckled. "Also a long story. It's sort of a family tradition."

"Oh," Michael said, nodding in understanding. "I know all about those sorts of things."

"And last but not least, I'm Leonardo DeKappa, inheritor of the legendary DeKappa sunglasses and future superhero!" Leo said proudly. "But my friends call me Leo. And since we saved you, I guess that makes you our friend, right?"

Michael smiled. "I guess so. Thank you for saving me from those horrible Pokemon."

"Exactly why were the Nihilators chasing you, anyway?" Pikachu asked Michael.

Michael looked at Pikachu in surprise. "The Nihilators? You know of them as well?"

Ash nodded. "We've crossed paths with them before. We're on a mission to take them down before they can destroy the world. What are they doing in these parts?"

Michael frowned unhappily. "About a month ago, some of them approached us Caretakers--those who have chosen to dedicate their lives to dwelling within and protecting the sacred tree planted by the Great Mother Mew--and demanded that we grant them access to the deepest catacombs of our home, claiming it was a matter of great urgency and that the fate of the world hung in the balance. My grandmother, the current Protector and leader of the Caretakers, saw right through them and refused them entry, realizing that their ambitions would destroy the whole Tree if not the entire world. We thought that was the last of it…but then, a few weeks ago a HUGE army of them attacked us. We've suffered assaults from barbarians and other greedy Pokemon in the past that wanted to lay claim to the great treasures of our Tree, but we've always managed to repel them in the past. This time, though, was different. These new invaders, these Nihilators, had a strange and deadly power unlike any we had ever seen before…"

Ash narrowed his eyes. "The power of Shadow…"

Michael nodded. "We didn't stand a chance…and it didn't help that they had such a high technological advantage over us! They easily managed to defeat us and take over the Tree. They've imprisoned my grandmother and most of the other leaders of the Caretakers and put the rest of us to work, mining the interior of the Tree for rare minerals and exploring the deepest and most dangerous reaches of our home in search of our most sacred treasure, something the Nihilators desperately want." He gritted his teeth together angrily. "They're forcing us to destroy our home to satisfy their greed…and try as we might, we can't stop them, so great is their power over us that we are unable to defy or even raise a claw against them!"

"Would this sacred treasure happen to be a star-shaped gemstone, about yea big, like some kind of badge?" Leo asked, spreading his hands a short distance.

Michael instantly regarded him with suspicion. "How did you know about that? Are you here for the Star too?!"

"Relax, we're the good guys," Pikachu assured Michael.

Ash nodded in agreement. "Yeah, we're trying to SAVE the Stars, not steal them. The Nihilators want to use them to destroy the world, and we're trying to foil their plans by grabbing them all before they do. We've already got one Star Badge, and have a map that leads to others. However, we need access to your people's Star so that we can unlock the locations of some of the other Badges."

"If you don't want us to take the Star, we won't," Pikachu assured the Eevee. "We just need to see it for a second to activate more of our map. We're perfectly happy to leave it with your people if you believe it'll be safer in your hands. We wouldn't want to deprive you of one of your most treasured possessions."

Michael frowned thoughtfully. "Well…I don't know. You'd have to speak to my grandmother about that…only she knows where the Badge is hidden, and so far, she's refused to tell the Nihilators, no matter what tortures they put her through…or how many of our own they've killed to try and make her talk…" He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to hold back tears. "Even…my sister…"

The trio exchanged glances before giving Michael sympathetic looks. "They've killed her too?" Leo asked sadly.

"I don't know," Michael admitted unhappily. "But I think they might have as good as done so. You see, a few days ago a new and higher-ranking Nihilator arrived and took over command of their operations in our Tree. I haven't seen him, but he's apparently so terrifying that even the other Nihilators are afraid of him; a grotesque fusion of Pokemon and machine that's neither alive nor dead! They call him the Doctor…and any Pokemon he calls into his presence, be it one of us Caretakers or even another Nihilator, has a good chance of never being seen again. And they say he has an assistant who's even more horrible than he is…my sister was taken from among the rest of us child slaves and sent to him in whatever distant land the Nihilators call home as a gift to congratulate him for his new commission before he even got here. I don't know what's happened to her, but I fear the worst." He shook his head angrily. "It's my job to take care of her…it's what I've always done. But I could do nothing to stop the Nihilators from stealing her from me. I was so ashamed in myself for my failure to protect her that I knew the only way to redeem myself would be to somehow escape and rescue her as well as all the other Caretakers. After days of struggling I managed, through some effort and sheer force of will, to break whatever control they had over me, give my guards the slip, and make my way out of the Tree using one of the flowing sap veins with the intention of getting help and seeking out my sister. Unfortunately, a bunch of them came after me…if it weren't for the three of you, I would be back in their custody, if not dead."

"We were glad to help," Ash said. "It's the sort of thing we do."

"And you're trying to find your sister?" Pikachu asked. "Then we have something in common. The Nihilators have abducted a couple of our friends, too. We're hoping that we can save them if we locate their headquarters…but to do that, we'll need the Star Badges, since they already possess one that we know of; so our map should eventually lead us right to them if we expose it to enough of the Stars."

Michael nodded in understanding. "Yes, that makes sense…" He frowned in thought, and then looked at his rescuers pleadingly. "You're trying to rescue your friends…do you suppose that…that you could take me with you? Today's experience has taught me I don't stand a chance of finding wherever the Nihilators make their lair on my own. If I came with you, I might be able to rescue my sister, and help you on your own quest! And I promise that if you take me along and save my people, I'll gladly try to convince my grandmother to let you see the Star!"

"We'd be happy to have you!" Leo said enthusiastically.

"Uh, wait, I'm not sure-" Ash started.

"Oh come on, he's obviously our fourth party member! We have to let him join the team!" Leo insisted. "I mean, we'll definitely need him anyway if we're going to take out the Nihilators in the Tree and get the second Star. He knows this place much better than we do, what with living there and all."

"But we don't even know if he can fight," Pikachu argued.

"I can fight," Michael said, rather affronted.

"Then why did we need to rescue you?" Pikachu asked.

"Give me a break, I'm not in peak condition considering I've been injured and forced into slavery for the last few weeks!" Michael said in annoyance. "Plus, they sort of outnumber me by quite a lot, and until recently have somehow been able to control my every move. But thanks to you three and your medicine, I'm feeling better than I have in a long time! And while I might not be able to beat them on my own, if I work together with you three I'm sure I can defeat those bastards and save the Tree, as well as my sister!"

Pikachu glanced at Ash. "What do you think?"

Ash frowned in thought. "Well, if we're going to get that Star Badge, we're going to have to clear the Nihilators out of the Tree…something we probably would have done anyway, even if there weren't a magical artifact there we just needed to find and keep out of their hands. That's what Rescue Teams do, after all, help people in need."

"And if we help out these Caretakers, I'm sure they'll let us have the Star as a reward, or at least let us use it to find the next one on your map," Leo said. "It's what villagers are supposed to do to repay you for assisting them! Unless they're the ungrateful kind with short memories, that is…NPCs can be so stupid sometimes…and why do the merchants always charge you such exorbitant prices for their stuff when you're literally saving their asses by keeping the world from ending, huh?!"

"That fits the Kecleon Brothers to a tee," Ash said wryly. "The only reason they give us discounts is because we've given them so much business…and because it would look bad for them to overcharge a team as highly ranked as we are."

"While I agree that we should help the people here, should we really add Michael to the team?" Pikachu asked uncertainly. "He's only just recovering from whatever abuse the Nihilators did to him when he was their captive, and we have no indication just yet that he can really fight as well as he claims."

"Hey, I can too fight!" Michael said indignantly. "I'll even fight one of you to prove it!"

"Ah, that won't be necessary," Ash said quickly, recalling how Leo had managed to surprise and humiliate him earlier despite his lack of real combat experience. He knew by now it was unwise to underestimate the strength of a Pokemon desperate to prove himself who also had a…what was it Leo had claimed to possess? A 'heart full of burning justice?' "Regardless of your skills in battle, we could still use your help getting around. As a native, you must know the lay of the land and the interior of the Tree of Beginning better than any of us, especially since you're next in line to watch over it so have to know some of the hidden places that are secrets to everyone else, right? Things that could definitely be helpful to us in getting the Badge and defeating the Nihilators?"

Michael nodded in agreement. "Precisely, that's how I managed to escape the Nihilators in the first place. I gave them the slip and escaped through a tunnel and flowing sap vein they didn't know about." His brow furrowed in puzzlement. "They were still able to find me once I was on the outside, though…"

"Oh, that's because you have a tracking/mind control chip in your brain," Leo said.

Everyone looked at him in surprise. "He does?!" asked Ash.

"I do?!" cried an astonished Michael.

"Yeah, didn't I mention that earlier?" Leo asked.

"NO!" everyone yelled at him.

He laughed in embarrassment. "Oops. Sorry."

"How can you tell he has something like that inside of him?" Pikachu asked.

Leo tapped his sunglasses. "My shades picked it up when they scanned him earlier. Oh, and by the way, he _does_ have some fighting skill…he knows a number of powerful moves, and probably would have used them against those goons from before if he hadn't been in such a bad shape. And if the control chip weren't suppressing his abilities to keep him from attacking his evil masters. A very effective method of keeping a population of slaves under their control, I must say. They probably installed similar chips in the heads of all the other Caretakers, too!"

Michael blinked in surprise. "Really? So _that's_ why none of us have been able to fight them or resist their wills…" He frowned. "But if that's the case, then how was I able to break free and escape? If they can truly control my mind, they could have just told me to stop in place rather than chase after me…or maybe even killed me from a distance!"

"My shades tell me your chip's damaged…the tracker still works, but the mind control part is broken," Leo explained. "Did you happen to suffer any head trauma recently?"

Michael frowned in thought. "I hit my head rather badly in a cave-in just the other day…I got better, but I felt a little odd for a while after that, and I managed to make my escape shortly thereafter. Could that have done it?"

"I think it just might have," Leo said.

"If they have a tracking device in him, they must know exactly where we are…" said a worried Ash. "We need to get it out of him, and fast!"

"But this…'chip' thing is in my brain! How are you going to get it out without killing me?!" asked the anxious Michael. "And I don't know if I can survive another severe blow to the head, even with your medicine…"

"Oh, that's simple," said Leo. "A good electric zap should short it out completely. Normally it'd be shockproof, but the damage it's already suffered should allow a sufficiently strong jolt to destroy it."

"How strong of a jolt?" Pikachu asked.

Leo shrugged. "Approximately…250 volts?"

"That sounds painful," said the worried Michael.

"Oh, don't worry, I've gotten hit by worse from Pikachu's little brother," Ash said casually. "You get used to much higher voltage after a while."

"This is going to hurt, but only for a second," Pikachu warned Michael, carefully extending a finger towards the Eevee's head.

Michael swallowed nervously. "J-just do it quickly, okay?"

"Leo, where exactly in his head is this chip?" Pikachu asked the Squirtle.

Leo reexamined the Eevee. "A little behind his right ear…lower…a little more to the left…a bit further down…there! You're right over it!"

"That thing gives you X-ray vision now?" asked an impressed Ash.

"No, not yet, but I have a pretty good description of where the thing is on my shades' readout," Leo said. "Combined with my high spatial coordination skills, that makes finding it in real terms a snap!"

Pikachu shook his head in amazement. "My esteem for your sunglasses has risen quite a bit, Leo. I apologize for doubting them earlier."

Leo nodded smugly. "As well you should!"

Pikachu rolled his eyes. A small spark leapt from his finger to Michael's skull. The Eevee yelped and shuddered in pain as the powerful shock rolled through his body. "Uhhh…"

"It's gone," Leo reported as he scanned Michael again. "Good job, Pikachu!"

"Great," Ash said, picking the dazed Eevee up. "Now let's get out of here before another search party comes over here to find out why the signal from the chip's stopped! I've scanned the area and there's nobody around for miles, but it probably won't stay that way for much longer!"

"D-does this m-mean I'm on the t-t-team?" the recovering Michael stammered, more than a little jittery from his shock.

Ash smirked. "Help us rescue your people and get the Star Badge, and we'll be more than happy to take you with us to find your sister and our missing friends!"

"A-a-awesome!" Michael said, his face brightening. "Th-this'll definitely b-be a story f-f-for the ag-g-ges…won't my g-grandmother be p-p-proud!"

"Hey, how come you made me jump through more hoops than that to get on the team?" an indignant Leo asked Pikachu as they hurried away from the scene of the battle. "And he's not even mentioned in a prophecy!"

Pikachu gave him an incredulous look. "Weren't you the one who wanted him on the team in the first place?!"

"Yeah…but I didn't think you'd cave in so easily!" Leo complained. "Especially considering how stubborn you guys were to letting _me_ on in the first place!"

Pikachu facepalmed. "And every day, I wish more and more strongly that you had never joined…or at the very least, had left more of your things behind!"

"Hey, I already told you we need all this stuff!" Leo said indignantly.

"Leo, what, pray tell, are we _EVER_ GOING TO DO WITH AN ELECTRIC CURLING IRON?!" Pikachu shouted.

"Curl our hair, duh," Leo said.

"YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE HAIR!" Pikachu yelled.

"Not yet I don't," Leo said, rubbing his bald scalp. "But when the Anime Hero Hair-GroTM I've been using finally kicks in and I grow my own set of sexy bishonen locks, it'll definitely come in handy! And if that doesn't work, I'll just get a wig or something."

If they weren't trying to flee the scene as quickly as possible to avoid Nihilator detection, Pikachu would have rammed his head into a tree repeatedly. Instead, he resolved to do the same to Leo, much later, with extreme prejudice.

…

Little did the Rescue Team know that the Nihilators had _already_ found them…or at least, a few of them had.

"So, _this_ is the group Oblivion's Shadow wishes me to destroy?" Bellum mused as she stared into her glowing cluster of magical ice crystals, currently displaying an image of Team Aurabolt and Michael on the run. "Hmm, they don't seem so tough, even if they did manage to defeat a Shadow Pokemon in Hyper Mode…it's not like it was one of the Doctor's precious XD line or anything. I doubt they will pose much difficulty to us."

"Bzzzzzbzzzzzbzzbzz?" a startlingly immense bright orange Rotom with shocking blue eyes and a lethal electrical field swirling with constantly changing glyphs and magical runes comprised of lightning inquired.

The wicked Froslass nodded. "Yes Marianne, you may challenge that Pikachu. Let's see if his sacred blade is a match for your evil thunder." The Rotom, Marianne, grinned maliciously and pulsated, sparks and static arcs crackling off her body's electrical field in the shape of cackling demonic visages.

"And what about you, Lily? Do any of those pathetic souls catch your fancy?" Bellum asked her other daughter. There was no response. Bellum frowned. "Lily?" She turned and found the third member of her coven, a plain-looking Misdreavus who wore a witch's hat over her long flowing hair and had rather painful-looking markings shaped like chains crisscrossing her face along with mystical sigils glowing on her pearl necklace, staring into space with a blank look on her face. Furious, Bellum formed an Ice Ball and hurled it at her daughter, snapping her out of her reverie as well as smashing her painfully into the wall of their lair. "Lily! Pay attention when I'm speaking to you!"

"Y-yes Mother," the Misdreavus stammered as she floated back up, readjusting her hat, which had been knocked askew by her mother's Ice Ball, back into place.

Bellum frowned at her daughter. "Were you speaking to your imaginary friend again? I've warned you to stop doing that. Just because you'll never have any friends due to being so ugly and stupid and useless doesn't mean you should make up fake ones to amuse yourself. That's just pathetic. Not that a wretch like yourself deserves to be happy in any event. I thought I'd beaten that out of you by now."

"You did, Mother. I wasn't speaking to any imaginary friend," Lily told Bellum.

The Froslass hit her with another Ice Ball, one stronger than the last one. (Only natural, considering how the attack worked.) "Don't lie to me, girl! Or speak to me in such an uncaring tone of voice. I am your mother, and refuse to be spoken to so disrespectfully!"

"Yes, Mother. I'm sorry, Mother. I won't do it again," Lily apologized, bowing her head.

Bellum frowned and hit Lily with another Ice Ball. "I highly doubt that. You're such a disappointment to me, Lily. Why can't you be more like your sister? She's a truly model daughter, always helpful, loving, obedient…" Marianne snickered, her laughs sounding like sizzling frayed power lines, and stuck a neon tongue out at the Misdreavus. Lily just stared at her. "And certainly not the disgrace to our family that you are!"

"I'm sorry, Mother. I can't help it," Lily said quietly.

Bellum sneered. "No, I suppose you can't, can you?" She hit her daughter with still another Ice Ball. "Well, don't worry dear, I'll destroy every last fragment of weakness in you sooner or later. We have all the time in the world, after all…well, until we destroy it, anyway." She narrowed her eyes at Lily. "And hopefully, by the time that happens, you'll finally be ready to fulfill your destiny, rather than hiding from it like the sniveling coward you are." She turned back to her crystals. "Let's see if a good killing can't bring out some of the beautiful darkness I just know is lurking inside you. Come along, girls. We have work to do." She vanished in a flurry of snowflakes.

"Bzzbzzbzz," Marianne sang happily, eager at the thought of electrocuting someone to a charred and smoking corpse as she vanished in a bolt of lightning.

Lily was about to follow suit, but paused for a moment, looking at the image of Team Aurabolt in the crystals. She cocked her head for a moment, as if listening to some distant voice. "Hmm." Knowing she would be punished severely if she dallied any longer (not that she really minded torture much anymore, considering she'd had several centuries to get used to it) she disappeared after her mother and sister in a burst of flame.

…

Meanwhile, in Pokemon Square…

"So, what do the two of you have to report on our progress towards summoning the Guardian of Light?" the Mayor of Pokemon Square asked the two Pokemon he had delegated the task to, Father Yamiri and Sabrina, currently standing before him on the audience platform in his mayoral pool.

"The scrolls and other holy artifacts I requested from my fellows at the Arcean Order should be due any day now," the Sableye reported, shielding himself from the sun with a very exquisite white parasol. "We have been holding on to them for ages in the event that circumstances such as this required the necessity of their use. While I cannot say I am happy that the world is in such dire straits that we need them, I have to admit I am somewhat…eager to use them. The opportunity to meet one of the most powerful servants of our Creator and answer some of the questions that have been nagging our Order since its inception? What a literal godsend!"

"How is it that your Order happened to obtain these instructions for summoning the Guardian in the first place, Father?" the Mayor asked Yamiri.

"Our Order was originally founded as a local covert branch of the Guardians, assigned to do Arceus' work on this Earth," Yamiri confessed. "However, for reasons unclear to us we lost contact with our superiors in higher planes millennia ago, and have been doing our best to continue the good fight on our own ever since. With any luck, we will be able to resume contact with the rest of the Guardians once we have summoned the Guardian of Light to our world and saved the Omniverse. If that should happen, we may be able to use assistance and technology from other universes to make our own world a much better place!" He smiled ruefully. "How strange, that sometimes the opportunity for the greatest good comes hand-in-hand with the greatest peril."

"And what of you, Sabrina? How has your work been going?" the Mayor asked the seer.

She spread her wings dramatically. "My attempts to scry into the future have been…unsuccessful so far. As sometimes happens during times of great disaster, my foresight is clouded by the sheer number of possibilities that could occur. However, if I should see anything of use to our efforts, I will tell you immediately." She folded her wings up again. "As for my progress in preparing to summon the Guardian, that has been going fairly well. My visions have told me of a number of herbs, minerals, and other ingredients necessary for the summoning spell, most of which I have managed to gather already. We still require the Arcean artifacts and Aaron's Aura, but since they should be here shortly I think we have little to worry about as far as they are concerned."

"Speaking of which, when _is_ Aaron coming back?" the Mayor asked a little anxiously.

Sabrina shrugged. "Soon. How soon, I am as yet unable to tell."

"There is one other thing we need to do to prepare for the summoning," Yamiri spoke up. "We will need to gather Latias, Latios, and Rayquaza and bring them here. The three legendary dragon are absolutely necessary to call the Guardian of Light to our world."

The Mayor blinked in surprise. "Those three? What do we need them for? And will Rayquaza even manage to fit in town? I hear he's a pretty big dragon…"

"The Guardian of Light is part of a trinity of holy dragons which serve directly under Arceus," the priestly ghost explained. "She is the sister of the Guardian of Hope, and mate to the Dragon God-King. If we are to summon her to our world, we will require three dragons of great power that form a similar familial trinity. Only Latias, Latios, and Rayquaza meet the rather strict requirements needed to create this sympathetic relationship that will guide the Guardian of Light to us."

The Mayor frowned. "But…Latias and Rayquaza aren't mates."

"Not yet," Sabrina said. "I have foreseen that they will be, someday."

The Mayor was intrigued by this. As the sort of Pokemon who liked to know a little about everything about everyone around him, he always loved hearing a juicy piece of gossip. "Oho, is that so? Interesting…er, but aren't their sizes a little, ah…"

"Has that ever stopped a Skitty from mating with a Waillord?" Sabrina asked. "Or for any other seemingly incompatible couple not to form a relationship?"

The Mayor sweatdropped. "I, er, suppose that's a good point. Though probably not the way I would have put it. Hmm, so this future relationship makes these dragons suitable for the summoning?"

"There's a bit more to it than that," Yamiri admitted. "The Guardian of Light is so powerful that were she to manifest physically in our universe, she would probably destroy it completely, though not by choice. However, if we can obtain a suitable vessel for her spirit to inhabit, she can channel enough of her power to help us without obliterating us by accident."

"And Latias is to be that vessel," the Mayor realized, shrewd as ever.

"She is the best candidate for the job, according to my research and Sabrina's visions," Yamiri explained.

The Mayor nodded. "Very well, then. While we're waiting for Aaron and the other things we need to get here, I want the two of you to go find those three Legendaries and ask them directly if they could help us with this. It'll be more polite and sound better if you do it in person rather than just send a letter asking them to come down here posthaste."

Sabrina nodded. "We will depart at once." And she did just that, extending a wing to Yamiri and teleporting both of them away.

The Mayor blinked. "Well, she sure does things fast." He shrugged and dove back into the water, heading for his private chambers. While Sabrina and Yamiri were gathering the components they needed to summon the Guardian of Light, he had other, equally important, matters that needed tending to if the planet were going to stay in one piece long enough for its myriad heroes to save it …

…

Meanwhile, in Almiore…

"Ah, the open sea! Don't you just love that fresh ocean breeze?" Gary asked, leaning out over the railing of the private vessel they had commissioned from the Mirage Kingdom for their voyage to save Princess Sara and inhaling deeply.

"Bleargh," gargled Mary, throwing up over the side of the ship.

"Ssstill haven't got your sssea legsss, huh?" Evan asked the Medicham.

"No," she gasped, sweat rolling down her pale face in droves. "I hate boats…bleaaaccchhh!" She threw up again.

The Ekans grimaced and backed away from her. "Try not to get any on me, will you?"

"Hey, Captain, how long till we get there?" Gary asked their boat's pilot, a Togetic with a liking for the sea named Maren.

She also happened to be a member of the Mirage Kingdom's Secret Service, assigned by Colonel Hansen and Chancellor Eggmun to keep an eye on Team Nightshade and make sure they survived the perils of the continent (and their own foolishness) long enough to rescue Princess Sara and defeat the Berry King. Not that her passengers knew that. "We should reach our destination in another hour or so," Maren informed the Gengar.

Gary cackled with delight. "Sweet! And once we land, we can find that first Compass piece…and maybe, if we're lucky, Princess Sara too!"

"I highly doubt that," Evan grunted. "Ssshe'll probably be in the lassst place we look. Or in that Altru Tower place. Ssseemsss like the bessst place for an evil Berry King and his minions to be hiding out, if you asssk me."

"So's a volcano," Gary pointed out.

"Hmm, true," Evan admitted. "It _isss_ a good place for a bad guy to make hisss lair. After all, the Monkey King livesss in one, doesssn't he?"

"Gaaahuuurrgggghh," Mary threw up.

"I ssstill don't trussst that Hansssen or Chancellor guy, though…" Evan muttered. "I think they're sssending usss on a wild Zangoossse chassse!"

"But Colonel Hansen and Chancellor Eggmun have served the kingdom loyally for many years and helped provide all of its people with peaceful, happy, and prosperous lives, aside from when the Berry King attacked," argued the alarmed Maren, automatically defending her commanding officers. "They can't possibly be villains!"

"But they're advisssorsss with facial hair! _Facial hair!_ They _have_ to be evil!" Evan insisted. "That'sss how it alwaysss isss!" Gary rolled his eyes. Mary vomited some more.

"Evan, we'll entertain your insane delusions later," Gary said. "Right now we have a mission to do, a compass to find, and a princess to rescue! Next stop: Volcano Cave!"

"And whatever sssort of horrible fiery monssstersss are waiting for usss therein," Evan grumbled, still thinking they were making a big mistake.

"I hate my life," Mary moaned before throwing up again.

…

Meanwhile, somewhere in Sinnorre…

"Are we there yet?"

"No!"

"Are we there yet?"

"No!"

"Are we there yet?"

"No!"

"Are we-"

"For the last time, no! I'll tell you when we get there!" Jessie snapped at James and Mickey, who had been asking her if they were almost at their destination for the last several minutes. The trio, along with the rest of their rather odd team; comprised of Buzz the Yanmega, Chimecho the Chimecho, Gardenia the Cacnea, and the shaman-warrior Wabbaku the Wobbuffet; were currently floating in a Meowth-shaped balloon somewhere over the forests and fields of Sinnorre. Jessie had sent Buzz out with a line to tug on the balloon to try and make it move faster. The Yanmega had willingly agreed, since he was madly in love with Jessie (pretty much the only man anywhere who felt that way) and regarded her as his 'Queen'. He would do anything for her. Chimecho had wrapped himself around James' head and was doing nothing but drooling and occasionally saying his name, which was all he could say, because he was a brainless moron. Gardenia was sitting quietly in a corner of the basket trying not to prick anyone with her thorns and gazing longingly at Wabbaku, who _she_ was madly in love with, when nobody was looking. Wabbaku, a member of a spiritualistic tribe of Wobbuffet who owed a life-debt to Jessie for having saved his life once from a cataclysmic volcanic eruption (It was a complete accident, she had been flying away as fast as she could and just happened to knock over Wabbaku and send them both tumbling into a nearby safe gully before they could have been engulfed by the lava. She had also been responsible for the eruption in the first place, but that was also an accident, and one which she had no intention of ever owning up to Wabbaku about.), did not notice because he was staring off into the distance with a serious look on his face, as he was wont to sometimes.

Mickey and James pouted. "You're never any fun," James complained. "I wish Sammy and Abe were here, they always know how to have a good time."

"Yeah, too bad dey're off on deir honeymoon," Mickey said wistfully. "Do you tink we'll get married and go on a honeymoon too someday, Jimmy?"

"No doubt!" James said happily.

"Chiiiii!" Chimecho squeaked stupidly.

Grumbling, Jessie turned her attention back to the straining Yanmega towing their balloon. "Buzz, can't you move any faster? It feels like we're flying slower than a Slugma here! And Slugma can't even fly!"

"I am sorry, my Queen, for the woeful inadequacy of my limited body," Buzz rasped, ashamed at his failure to please the demanding Dustox. "I will exert myself harder, and give up my own life if need be, to get you to wherever you wish to go!"

"Well, see that you do," Jessie said carelessly. She turned to Wabbaku. "Wabbaku, are you certain we are going in the right direction?"

Wabbaku stared at her, and Jessie felt momentarily cowed, as she always did when he looked at her like that. With that stern expression on his handsome face, the striking makeup and tribal paint decorating his body, and the feathered headdress and beaded necklace he always wore, he often made for a very imposing (and blue) figure. A dramatic wind blew up from out of nowhere, rustling Wabbaku's jewelry as he spoke in the deep, manly voice that always made Gardenia swoon. (Not that they noticed.) "I have consulted the spirits of air, sea, and sky, and they have told me-"

"What about fire?" James asked.

Wabbaku blinked. "What?"

"Fire. Shouldn't you have consulted the spirits of fire, too? You know, to get a well-rounded report," James asked.

Wabbaku stared at him blankly. "Of course not. Don't be preposterous. Everyone knows the spirits of fire are lying tricksters."

"Oh," James said. Gardenia sighed dreamily.

"The spirits told me that Ash and Pikachu traveled in this direction from Treasure Town, to the settlement in Green Meadow known as Turtle Town. They are there no longer, but we are closely following their trail."

"Excellent!" Jessie cackled gleefully. "Once we get to Turtle Town, we'll steal lots of food and whatever valuables there are and keep going after Team Aurabolt!"

"And once we find them, we'll capture them and bring them back to the Boss!" James said eagerly.

"Yeah, won't Uncle Giovanni be happy when we bring him a captive Aura Guardian and samurai of his very own?" Mickey asked ecstatically. While technically their mission was supposed to be to just shadow Ash and Pikachu and see what they were up to, they had decided that was too boring and resolved to capture Team Aurabolt and give them to Giovanni along with whatever magical artifacts the duo had collected instead to prove what good Rocket agents they were and get promotions and raises and all the best stuff. Technically this was against orders, but hey, if these Star Badge things were powerful enough for some other group of bad guys to desire, then shouldn't Team Rocket try and get their hands on them too, to further their own plans for global domination? "He'll reward us big time, and stop threatening to write me out of his will!"

"We'll finally be able to afford a grand white wedding like I've always dreamed of!" James cried happily, tears of joy running down his face.

"Me too!" Mickey said, also tearing up. "But which of us will wear da wedding gown?"

"Me, of course," James said, as if it were obvious. "You know how good I look in drag."

"Dat's true, you do," Mickey agreed.

"Chiiiii!" Chimecho chimed stupidly.

"And I'll be able to get a solid gold mansion, with a pool made of gelatin and chocolate and have dozens of gorgeous men fawning over me every second!" Jessie fantasized.

"And I shall be one of those men!" Yanmega resolved.

"And maybe I'll be able to win the heart of the man I love," Gardenia whispered quietly, staring longingly at Wabbaku.

The Wobbuffet shaman-warrior did not join in his comrades' delusions of grandeur and success. His tribe frowned upon investing too much in material possessions in general and was especially unhappy with the theft of other peoples' belongings, both of which were things Team Rocket seemed to be very much involved in. Were it not for his debt to Jessie, he would have departed this band of thieves long ago, but honor dictated that he must remain by her side until he had saved her life one time, to repay her for saving his. Unfortunately, the rules of the life debt also stated that what he owed her could only be repaid if he saved her from an absolutely lethal death…and, unfortunately, she proved to be uncannily resilient, to the point where absolutely nothing, including being blown up several dozen times in a row and sent crashing to the ground miles and miles away, seemed to significantly damage her in the long run. It was almost as if she, and most of her compatriots, were too _stupid_ to die or something.

He was confident, however, that sooner or later he'd be able to repay his debt in full. Jessie seemed to make a habit of getting herself into ridiculous amounts of trouble, and it was only a matter of time before she got herself in so deep that even her apparent contractual immortality could not save her, and then he would be there to rescue her, after which he could return at last to the home of his tribe, and those dear to his heart who were waiting for him…

He wondered if he should mention that the spirits had also told him that they were being followed by a more elite Rocket agent dispatched by Domino to keep an eye on them and that Turtle Town was currently being guarded by the walking dead as well as a number of rather temperamental baby dragons, none of whom would be especially pleased with a gang of thieves trying to steal from their new home. He was about to bring this up, when Jessie rather rudely asked him, "Did your spirit pals happen to mention how much loot there is in Turtle Town, and how valuable it is?"

"Hopefully more dan dere was in Treasure Town," Mickey said hopefully.

James nodded. "I can't think of many towns with more inaccurate names than that!"

Wabbaku's mouth hardened into a thick zig-zag line. "No, Miss Jessie, they did not," he said gruffly, displeased that Jessie was constantly using his spiritual powers on such wasteful and materialistic goals.

Jessie snorted. "Then what good are those worthless ghosts of yours anyway? They can tell us where a couple of goody-goodies went, but not where we can find some treasure? Hmmph, why couldn't I have rescued a shaman in contact with more useful spirits?"

Wabbaku's eye twitched and his blood boiled as Jessie callously insulted the souls of his venerable ancestors, who had aided his people for centuries and allowed them to survive countless hardships. He decided to keep quiet, feeling that his 'mistress honestly deserved whatever was coming to her and there was no reason he couldn't omit a detail or two she'd soon find out on her own. Technically his tribe frowned upon being untruthful with others, but he doubted anyone would really blame him for acting in this way, considering who he was indebted to. An uncharacteristically malicious grin formed on his face (that Gardenia found sexy) as he wondered whether Dustox were immune to dragonflame…

…

It looks as if all our heroes (and Team Rocket) are hard at work on their respective tasks. What dangers await them in the Tree of Beginning, the lairs of the draconic Legendaries, Volcano Cave, and Turtle Town? And is Aaron still having sex with Krysta? Some of the answers to those questions will be revealed next time!


	16. Something wicked this way comes

Took a while to get this ready, but school's just started for me so I have to divide up my time between work and pleasure these days. Hopefully I'll still be able to get chapters out now and then in the future, though.

What is you readers' opinion of Michael, if I may ask?

…

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters that don't belong to me.

…

"So, where are we going now?" Pikachu asked Michael as they continued through the Mystifying Forest. They had slowed their pace down a bit so as not to overtax the still-recovering Michael and so that Leo didn't pass out due to an asthma attack.

"To the Tree of Beginning, of course," said Michael.

"Well, yeah, but isn't that still a couple of days away from here?" Leo asked wearily, wiping some sweat from his brow. "Man, I _cannot_ take all this walking…why can't we have a cool vehicle like all the best superhero teams have?"

"Even if we had one, how would we use it here?" Ash asked. "There's too many trees and the ground is too rough, we couldn't drive it anywhere."

"We could fly if we had an airship," Leo countered.

"And where would we land it?" Ash asked.

"Uh…hmm. Good question," Leo admitted. "I guess there really aren't any clearings around here, especially near the base of the Tree…and the Nihilators would probably see us coming and shoot us down…_unless_ we had some sort of cloaking device…" He frowned. "But where would we get one of those?"

"Why are we talking about this?" asked an exasperated Pikachu.

Leo shrugged. "I dunno. Don't you think it would be cool if we had a flying machine that could turn invisible?"

"If it were invisible, how would we be able to find it after we landed it? Or drive it if we couldn't see the controls?" Ash asked, recalling all too well what had happened when they had used Invisify Orbs in the catacombs underneath Treasure Town.

"Oh, it would only be invisible from the outside," Leo assured him. "And we could use my sunglasses to find it when it was parked. Or your Aura-sight. It can see invisible things, can't it?"

"That's true, it can," Ash agreed. "Though it's better with living things than inanimate objects."

"Hmm, maybe we should try getting a living airship then…" Leo mused.

"A _living_ airship?!" Pikachu asked incredulously.

"Yeah, there's tons of those in certain fantasy series," Leo said. "And even more living spaceships in many sci-fi universes, though most of those are technically just regular spaceships with really smart AIs. However, some others have species that prefer genetics to machinery so they literally 'grow' their own organic spaceships!"

"Organic ships? What do they eat?" asked an amazed Ash.

"Starship fuel, just like regular ships, duh," Leo said. "Their digestive systems are designed to process it. And they use their, ah, waste as exhaust thrust to propel them through space."

Ash blinked. "So…they're basically flying through fart power?"

Leo laughed. "That's one way of putting it…"

"Can we please not talk about this?!" Pikachu snapped. "And Ash, don't encourage him!"

"Sorry," Ash said.

Leo rolled his eyes. "Geez, you can be such a tightwad sometimes…if it weren't for the fact that you had a wicked sword and super-cool samurai skills, I'd say you were an unfunny jerk." Pikachu's eye twitched.

Michael sweatdropped. "Are you guys always like this?"

"We didn't used to be…" Pikachu grumbled.

"But that's because the Team's usually just me and Pikachu, with only temporary third members," said Ash. "But it looks like Leo might be sticking with us for the long haul. Maybe you too, Michael."

"Yeah. I mean come on; you know you guys couldn't do without me!" Leo said. Pikachu's other eye twitched.

"Don't worry, you'll get used to it," Ash said. "I think."

Michael sweatdropped. "Can I join a different Rescue Team?"

"No," Pikachu said deadpan. "If I have to suffer, then so do you."

"Joy…" Michael grumbled.

"So, to reiterate, where are we going?" Ash asked.

Michael sighed. "I already told you, the Tree!"

"And I pointed out that it's still really far from here, and it'll take forever to walk there, and-" Leo started.

"There are faster ways," Michael said. "We're going towards one of them now."

"Oh really?" Ash asked, intrigued.

Michael nodded. "Yes. As you may know already, the Tree of Beginning is a living organism, despite its rocky appearance."

"The same could be said of Geodudes, Onixes, and most other Rock-types," Leo said.

"True," Michael agreed. "But most of them aren't as big as the Tree. Anyway, as I've already mentioned, the Tree is full of caves and tunnels and the like that my people, the Caretakers, inhabit."

Ash nodded. "Makes sense. Where else would you live if the thing weren't hollow?"

"Actually, I think a lot of them also live on the many ridged terraces growing from the exterior of the Tree that look like branches and leaves from the distance," Leo said. "The Internet says so. They're supposed to be very rich and bountiful due to all the minerals and stuff in the rock there, so incredibly lush and prosperous plants and micro-forests sprout from them."

"Oh," said Ash.

"However, caves aren't the only things that riddle the interior of the Tree," Michael continued. "The crystals that grow from the Tree are energized by sunlight. However, many crystals grow inside the Tree or in areas that don't get much sun, so need to be 'fed' in a different way. There are numerous channels flowing throughout the Tree's trunk and roots that deliver nutrients derived from solar energy and the soil to crystals and other organisms in the farthest-flung areas of the Tree's body. We call these channels 'sap veins' because they flow everywhere and deliver nutrients like the blood vessels in a Pokemon's body, and because they're inside a Tree, so it seems fitting to call them 'sap veins' even if there isn't actually any sap due to the Tree being a rock formation."

"Makes sense," said Leo.

"Not only can these veins be used to transport nutrients throughout the Tree, but they can move Pokemon as well," Michael continued. "By jumping into a vein in one part of the Tree, you can ride it to another part."

"Cool!" said Leo.

"Wait, how do you breathe?" asked the perplexed Pikachu.

"Oh, the veins are full of air," Michael explained. "The nutrients flowing through them take the form of harmless glowing green globules rather than liquid. You can actually ride on or hang onto the globules and use them to move through the veins, depending on your size."

"Ah," said Pikachu.

"Even cooler!" Leo exulted.

"And you were able to escape using one of those veins?" Ash guessed.

Michael nodded. "That's right. There are thousands of veins flowing throughout the tree, and only a fraction of them have been thoroughly explored. There's just so many and our home is too big to catalogue them all! The Nihilators have been attempting to form maps of the Tree's interior by sending young Pokemon like myself into newly discovered passageways to see whether they're safe or not or by using their strange mechanical spiders to examine crannies and crevices in the Tree's insides that we can't fit into to see where they go."

"Mechanical spiders?" asked the puzzled Pikachu.

"Uh oh, those don't sound good…" murmured Leo.

"I don' t know exactly what they are," Michael confessed. "But they are apparently innovations of the 'Doctor'. He can mass-produce thousands of them, each about the size of one of my eyes, with segmented metal legs as sharp as knives. They tend to travel in groups, though they can also be sent to places individually as messengers, scouts, or spies. They are also quite deadly. Alone a single spider can't do much damage, but I've seen swarms numbering in the hundreds crawling onto the skin of slaves that have displeased the Nihilators and…eating them alive…"

The trio blanched at this. "Ew," said Ash.

"That's horrible…" whispered Leo, knowing all too well what it was like to see a friend get eaten alive.

"These Nihilators need to be stopped…" Pikachu growled. "Along with this 'Doctor' of theirs. Are these spiders now everywhere in your Tree?"

Michael shook is head. "Due to their small size and numbers, it's easy for the Nihilators to position them all throughout the Tree, use them to explore new areas, and to keep a watch on us, their prisoners. However, the Tree is so vast and the passages through it so multifarious that it would take millions of these spiders to be absolutely everywhere…and while there are many of them now, there aren't millions of them. Not yet, anyway."

"Then we might still have a chance of getting by them…" Pikachu mused.

"Or we could just step on them," Leo suggested. "I mean, that's the best way to deal with little bugs, right? Of course, most little bugs aren't capable of covering you and eating you alive…or are mechanical…but you get my drift."

"If they're machines, Pikachu could probably destroy them with a good zap," Ash suggested. "Unless they're shock-proof like the chip in Michael's head was originally intended to be."

"Speaking of which, how are we going to free all the other enslaved Caretakers?" Pikachu wondered. "We can't hit them _all_ on the head then electrify them to destroy their control chips, can we?"

"I don't really know enough about machines to tell you," Michael admitted. "And I didn't even know these chips existed until just a little while ago!"

"I have an idea," Leo said. "If all the Caretakers have chips in their heads that allow the Nihilators to control their minds and keep them from attacking them, they must be receiving a central signal from somewhere that forces Michael's people to obey them. When Michael's chip was damaged, he stopped receiving that signal and so regained his free will. If we can destroy the source of that signal, we can free everyone!" He furrowed his brow in thought. "Unless, of course, the chips aren't receiving a universal signal at all but are all individually preprogrammed to force the people they're planted in to obey the Nihilators. Because if they are, we might have a problem. Hmm…I'll need to see an undamaged chip. Maybe my sunglasses will be able to figure something out…"

"Maybe they can," Pikachu said, reluctantly admitting that Leo's sunglasses might be advantageous after all. He supposed it was rather petty of him to be frustrated and embarrassed by the legacy weapon of Leo's family. Just because it wasn't a traditional tool such as a sword didn't mean it had no great power or was unworthy of his respect.

"We'll figure it out when we get there," Ash said. "And speaking of which, we were just talking about that, weren't we? Michael, I take it we're heading for one of those 'sap veins' that the Nihilators don't know about?"

Michael nodded. "As the future Protector of the Tree, I have to know more about the Tree than just about anyone else. My grandmother made me memorize the locations of all the known veins, including several that most people didn't know about. I was able to escape by using one of those hidden veins. The Nihilators have probably already found the one I escaped through and put heavy guard on it by now, but I know of another one fairly close by we can use to zip right into the main trunk of the Tree through one of the roots."

"Cool!" said Leo. "We're going to do a stealth infiltration…by creeping into the interior of a giant silicate-based lifeform like a virus or bacteria!" He paused. "Uh, wait, if we do that won't we trigger the tree's immune system? I remember hearing it had one…"

"The Tree's antibodies should leave you alone since you're with me, since I'm the next Protector and because I'm a resident they recognize me as being part of the Tree, so to speak." Michael grimaced. "And I doubt they'd bother with us, seeing as how they have a much bigger infection to deal with…"

"The Nihilators," Pikachu guessed.

Michael nodded. "Leo's virus analogy is rather apt. The Nihilators are quite literally destroying the Tree from within in their attempt to collect its hidden treasures. The Tree's health is deteriorating rapidly, and if they aren't routed soon and the damage they have done repaired, then I fear the Tree of Beginning might very well…die…"

Team Aurabolt exchanged worried looks. "And that would be a bad thing," Leo said.

"Obviously," said Ash.

Pikachu frowned. "Why haven't the legendary Golems done anything to stop this? I had heard that they were supposed to be the Tree of Beginning's last line of defense and strongest guardians."

"They engaged the Nihilators at first, but despite inflicting heavy losses upon the enemy, they were eventually forced to retreat due to the Nihilators' sheer numbers and superior technology," Michael said sadly. "They've retreated to the innermost heart of the Tree and barricaded themselves in so that none can reach it. Probably a good thing, too, because if the heart were to be destroyed, then the Tree would most certainly die!"

"And because the Star Badge everyone's looking for happens to be there?" Leo guessed.

Michael gave him a surprised look. "What makes you think it's there?"

Leo shrugged. "If they're the Tree's strongest guardians, and they know the Nihilators want that Badge, then it only makes sense that they'd retreat to guard where it's being held. Plus, the Tree's heart seems like the best place to hide it, considering that it's the center of everything and probably one of the most defensible places in the Tree."

"But it's not exactly hidden, is it?" Pikachu pointed out. "I mean, if it's the Tree's heart, it's a place everyone knows about. Wouldn't it be better to hide it in one of the areas that are secret and undiscovered to everyone?"

"Not necessarily, by putting it in the heart, you could hide it in plain sight," Leo pointed out. "It's also convenient. If it were hidden somewhere else, then you'd have to split into two groups to defend both it and the Tree's heart in case of emergencies, making it harder to protect both. If you had them in the same place, however, you could fairly easily keep the both of them under full guard. Considering that the Regis headed to the heart as one group rather than splitting up makes me think that either the heart's where the Star Badge is, or it's at least where you can access the Star's true location."

"That makes a lot of sense, I've never considered that," said an impressed Michael.

Pikachu frowned. "The Nihilators probably have, though…"

"So, we need to infiltrate the Tree, free the slaves, defeat the Nihilators, get the Star without pissing off the Regis, and heal the Tree before it croaks," Ash summed up. "I think we can do that, can't we?"

"Exactly how do we need to go about mending the damage the Nihilators have caused?" Pikachu asked.

"I'm not sure, actually," Michael admitted. "That's another thing we would have to ask my grandmother about. She's been the Protector of the Tree for almost three hundred years, and knows a great many things about it that the rest of us do not."

The other three were impressed by this information. "Wow! Three hundred? What kind of Pokemon is she? A Ghost-type? A Ninetales?" Leo asked.

"Actually, she's an Espeon," Michael admitted.

Ash frowned. "I didn't know Espeon could live for that long…"

"They can't," Pikachu said. "The maximum lifespan for the majority of mortal Pokemon is around a hundred or a hundred and fifty, maybe a little over if they can get good health care and stay out of fights. Our lives used to be a lot shorter, back when humans were still around, but when the Savior restored the planet after the great cataclysm he extended the lives of all the shorter-lived species so that we could enjoy a longer stay on this Earth. However, Espeon were not one of the species whose lives were lengthened to something over a century. How has your grandmother managed to survive this long, Michael?"

"It's one of the advantages of living in a symbiotic relationship with a giant magical Tree," Michael explained. "I'm not exactly sure how it works, but the energy radiated by some of the crystals inside the Tree grants its inhabitants longevity so that they may live longer and help care for it better. We call these crystals 'life crystals', and they are one of the reasons so many greedy Pokemon have attempted to invade our Tree over the years."

"That's incredible," said an amazed Ash.

"Yeah, tell me about it," said Leo. "Uh, hey, do you suppose I could-"

"No, Leo," Pikachu said sharply.

Michael laughed. "It wouldn't do you much good even if you took one, Leo. While life crystals possess a number of unique properties, their life-extending powers fade once they are removed from the Tree. Similarly, outside of the life-sustaining energies radiated by the Tree, our longevity decreases and we age like everyone else. I believe the 'Doctor' is attempting to find a way to get around that, but so far he hasn't succeeded."

"Thank goodness. Something like that should not be in evil hands," Pikachu said.

Ash frowned. "Wait, if you age like everyone else outside of the Tree, then if you come with us to help us, won't you…"

"Don't worry, I won't rapidly age into oblivion or anything, I'm still a young pup," Michael explained. "Besides, when I meant we age like everyone else outside the Tree, I just mean that time flows normally for us, just like for everyone else. Our aging doesn't speed up to the point that we start to rapidly deteriorate or anything like that. We believe that the longevity granted us by the crystals is a gift from Mew, the Tree's creator, so that we may continue serving Her and making sure that the Tree will one day be able to fulfill whatever grand goal She had in mind when She planted it in the first place." He frowned. "We don't really know what that is, though…but we're sure it must be important."

"Must be," Leo agreed. "Otherwise you'd have wasted your entire lives pursuing a false dream." The others glared at him. "Right, sorry, shutting up now."

"I'm relieved to hear that you won't age to death or anything by leaving the Tree," Ash said. "Because I had the sudden worry that your sister might be aging really fast now due to her being taken from her home and sent to Nihilator headquarters."

"Assuming she isn't dead already," Leo pointed out. Pikachu glared at him. "Right, sorry, shutting up now. Again."

Michael smirked. "Trust me, if I felt that that was something to be worried about, I'd be hurrying us along a _lot_ faster than I am now. I might not even be bothering with rescuing the Tree and everyone else and just rush off to save my sister, actually." He frowned in thought. "That's not to say I don't think that time is of the essence, but…if there's one thing I'm certain she won't die of, it's old age."

"What's her name, anyway?" Pikachu asked.

"Jovi," said Michael. "She's named after my great-grandmother on my mother's side of the family. She's an Eevee, just like me, only younger. And has the habit of referring to herself in third-person."

"Didn't Pichu do that for a while?" Ash asked his brother.

Pikachu groaned. "Don't remind me…thank goodness he finally grew out of that. Hey Michael, is your sister occasionally a huge pain in the tail, too?"

Michael smirked. "Tell me about it. You would not _believe_ the situations she's gotten herself into. Would you believe that one time she befriended a giant monster Carnivine with several thousand teeth and breath that smelled like a hundred Koffing had floated into its mouth and died, brought it home, and asked if she could keep it?"

Pikachu laughed. "Ha, that's nothing compared to the time _my_ little brother believed that wearing a cape would allow him to fly, and when it didn't, decided he needed to jump from progressively higher and higher places to make it kick in."

"Yours did that too? I thought my sister was the only one!" said the surprised Michael.

"Oh yeah, I tried that once too…" Leo said wistfully. "It didn't work for me, either." They laughed.

Ash sweatdropped and decided to change the subject.. "Uh…okay…so, uh, Michael., what do we do if we get to this secret vein entrance and find that the Nihilators have already found it?"

"Then we find another one," said Michael.

"Or kill them all and go in anyway," Leo said casually.

Pikachu gave Leo an uncomfortable look. "Leo, you _do_ realize that killing people is not the solution to everything, right?"

Leo blinked. "Well, yeah, but they're the bad guys, so it's okay to kill them, isn't it?"

"Just because they're our enemies doesn't mean they're not people too," Pikachu said.

"Yeah, but they're Shadow Pokemon, so they're _not_ people," Leo argued. "They're horrible evil monsters who willingly sealed off their hearts and enjoy tormenting and murdering innocent Pokemon for shits and giggles. You're saying there's nothing wrong with killing people like that?"

"Well, I…" Pikachu stammered. "Look, my point is that you shouldn't demonize or deindividuize your opponents to make it easier to fight and kill them. For all you know, they might have families and friends, and might not even be that evil at all, but just doing the things they do because it's a day job or because they have no other choice."

Leo gave Pikachu a confused look. "But…Shadow Pokemon can't have families. If they did, wouldn't those represent a strong weakness? Ash said that Shadow Pokemon are created by darkening and corrupting happy memories. Having their families around and still caring about them would make it harder to believe those false memories and weaken their evil powers. After all, one way to bring Shadow Pokemon out of Hyper Mode is for a loved one to call out their names, right? Therefore, the majority of Shadow Pokemon must either not have families, be on bad terms with them, or have had their families killed (maybe even did it themselves) by the other Nihilators to keep them as strong as possible. Why should I feel sorry for or go easy on someone like that? Besides, if I don't kill the Nihilators, they'll kill me and maybe somebody else."

"While that's true," Pikachu admitted. "That doesn't mean all the Nihilators are out-and-out evil. After all, a number of them may have been innocents who were captured and tortured into becoming monsters. Therefore, they're more victims than actual foes."

"But how're we supposed to know which ones are evil and which ones are just victims?" Leo asked with a frown.

"Oh, that's easy, according to my book there's actually a rather subtle difference in the shading of the Auras between Shadow Pokemon who willingly gave in to darkness and those who were broken into it," Ash answered before Pikachu could say anything. "Plus, due to rationally making the choice to accept evil into their hearts, willing Shadow Pokemon are capable of higher levels of thought, whereas those who were forced and broken into it are more wild and out of control. My Aura-sight proficiency is still not yet at its fullest potential, but I think I'll be able to distinguish between the two kinds sooner or later. I'm pretty sure that the guys we fought earlier were definitely of the former type of Shadow Pokemon rather than the latter."

"Then we shouldn't feel bad for killing them," said Leo.

"Pretty much," Ash agreed.

"No, that's not what I meant," said an irritated Pikachu. "That's too simple a definition, isn't it? What about regular Pokemon who might have been tricked into joining the Nihilators or did it for seemingly good reasons and were eventually indoctrinated into becoming evil? Where do they stand?"

Ash shrugged. "They'd still be one of the two kinds of Shadow Pokemon. If they grew to like being evil and wanted more power, they probably willingly became Shadows, and if they realized it was wrong but were forced to become Shadows, then they were tortured into it. If it was just a job to them and they weren't really evil, then they'd either never have been made into Shadow Pokemon at all or wouldn't have lasted long or risen far enough in the organization for us to worry about fighting them."

"So we don't have to worry about fighting anyone who isn't really evil when we encounter Shadow Pokemon," Leo interpreted. "Except for those guys who were forced into it." He paused. "Wait. Then does that mean we might wind up killing innocent Pokemon whose only crime was being captured by the Nihilators and forced to become one of them?"

"_Now_ you're getting it," Pikachu said, relieved Leo finally seemed to be seeing the point he'd been trying to make clear all along.

Leo looked troubled. "Maybe we could try to just cripple or knock out those guys rather than kill them outright? No, wait, in the heat of battle, how would we be able to focus enough to do that? In fact, how would we even be able to do that if we can't see their Auras like Ash can? We might wind up killing both bad guys and innocents at the same time and never realize it…"

"Exactly," Pikachu said, putting a hand on Leo's shoulder. "That's what I've been trying to tell you. I'm not saying that killing other Pokemon is unavoidable or that you should value the life of your enemy over your own, I'm just saying that you shouldn't kill others and think they're faceless goons whose lives don't matter, because by doing so you discredit what a true warrior stands for: life itself. This isn't a game, and the Pokemon we may have to fight and kill in the future may not always be pure evil Shadow Pokemon, and those Pokemon might have lives and histories and friends and families who'll miss them that we'll never know about, unlike all the preprogrammed monsters or enemy soldiers you've killed by the hundreds in your virtual worlds."

"However, considering that most of the Nihilators are evil and were probably evil even before they became Shadow Pokemon, we probably don't have to worry about feeling bad for them because of any of that when we fight them," Ash said.

Pikachu facefaulted. "Were you not listening to anything I just said?! What about enemies who aren't Nihilators? And what about the Nihilators who were _forced_ into becoming Shadow Pokemon?! You're aware that we might kill them, too, aren't you?!"

Ash shrugged. "Well, I'll certainly try not to if I can't help it. And once I learn the technique to cure Shadow Pokemon, I'll try to heal them rather than hurt them, and if they still try to kill me after being restored to their old selves, I'll return the favor. And besides, from a religious or spiritual perspective, some could say that we'd be doing those poor souls a favor by killing them--they'd be released from their torment and be able to get reborn in happier lives. I think the same is true of the bad Nihilators, too, if some of the stuff I've heard from you and Father Yamiri about the way the afterlife works is true. That's not to say I'm in favor of killing everyone indiscriminately just because they're in our way or because they'll get better later, just that doing so might not be an unforgivable sin, given the circumstances. If they're trying to kill you and you're just trying to defend yourself, you can't really be blamed for what might happen during a fervent battle, where _everything's_ pretty crazy all around you. It's justifiable self-defense."

Pikachu facepalmed. "You're completely missing the point…"

"No, I understand perfectly," Ash argued. "That it's wrong to think of our enemies as monsters rather than feeling Pokemon like us to make it easier to fight them and not feel any guilt about killing them. But the fact of the matter is that most of them _are_ monsters, so there's no reason we should feel bad for killing them if we have to. And while you're right that we might wind up killing innocent Pokemon who were corrupted by the Nihilators along with the really evil ones by accident until I learn how to cure them, in a life-or-death situation you don't always have the option of just knocking them out, especially because they might get back up and stab you in the back later. I'm not saying you shouldn't feel bad about killing _anyone_, but it's hypocritical to let it get to you if you _know_ you're going to have to do it again later." He shrugged. "And in the meantime we can do our best just to kill only enemies who we think deserve it or are really trying to kill us and while trying our hardest to spare only those who aren't really evil or that we think can be helped. And in any event, just because our enemies are Pokemon just like us and may in fact have families and friends and complicated backstories like any other individual doesn't mean that we shouldn't kill them if we're being forced to defend ourselves and the people and things we care about from them and their kind. Yeah, it could be said that some of them might be fighting for the sake of people they care for too, but Nihilators and the majority (not all, I admit, but most) of the barbarians we've fought against have just been out to destroy civilization and/or the world, so don't have the excuse of having something to fight for other than their own greed or desire for violence. And if we're forced to kill to protect something rather than to destroy it, isn't that justifiable? We can still feel bad about it later, but that doesn't mean it was the wrong thing to do or that there was any other way." He frowned at his brother. "I know all that because you told me pretty much the same thing after _my_ first kill. So why are you trying to fill Leo's head with doubts?"

Leo frowned. "Hey yeah, why _are _you trying to fill my head with doubts?"

Pikachu paused. "…Perhaps you're right. I am being a little harsh. I apologize, Leo, I didn't mean to make you feel inadequate or uncertain about what we're doing. I just…"

"Yeah?" Leo asked.

Pikachu sighed. "I found your attitude towards killing people to be a bit unnerving. Just a minute ago you suggested killing the Nihilator guards without sounding the least bit bad about it, and earlier your reaction towards killing your first Pokemon, while starting out normally, turned into acceptance and justification of your actions far too quickly for my liking. I was worried that you didn't really think that the Pokemon you killed might have been a person as well as a villain, that you thought that killing to solve problems when you could easily rationalize it to yourself was okay, or even worse…that you might have enjoyed it and would have liked to kill again."

Leo gave Pikachu a surprised look. "Wait, that's it? Really? All this time you were worried that I might have liked killing that Mr. (Or should it be Ms.?) Mime so much that I'd love to do it again? That I'd turn into a serial killer or mass-murderer or something if you didn't try and talk some sense into me as soon as possible?"

"You'd be surprised how often that happens," Pikachu said. "A fledgling warrior enjoys his first taste of bloodshed a little too much and starts craving it as often as possible…and it's a very steep, slippery slope to becoming a monster from thereon."

Leo shook his head in amazement. "Dude, why didn't you just say that in the first place? You have nothing to worry about! I _hated _killing that clown!"

Pikachu gave the Squirtle a relieved look. "Really?"

Leo nodded. "Yeah! I mean, I'm not saying I regret killing her, and that I wouldn't do it again, just that I hated doing it. But I knew it was necessary at the time, because otherwise she might have killed you guys and Michael! Although…well, I didn't really mean to kill her…it was sort of an accident…but I know that sometimes you have no choice but to end a life. I reconciled myself to the fact that heroes occasionally must kill people for the greater good a long time ago. If there's ever another option to take other than killing an enemy, I'll gladly take it—after all, it worked pretty well with Tiama and her kids, didn't it?—but if there isn't, I'll do what I have to do. I won't like it, but I'll do it anyway. That the sort of thing you wanted to hear?"

Pikachu smiled and nodded. "Pretty much, yeah. Thank you, Leo. You've put my mind at ease. Sorry again for trying to force all that stuff on you earlier."

Leo waved it off. "No problem, man, what's an epic adventure without the heroes wasting time every now and then to contemplate their navels and wonder about mortality and the meaning of life and all that? Hell, the majority of giant mecha anime seems to be _made_ of the stuff, as if the robots are powered by existentialism and sheer teenage angst or something like that. Hopefully, now that that's out of the way, we won't have to do much more boring philosophizing until after this next dungeon."

"Yes, I hope so too," said the rather bored Michael. "That was incredibly pointless and dull. Can we go save the Tree of Beginning now?"

With the minor crisis and character-building experience out of the way, the group resumed their trek towards the secret entrance into the Tree. Little did they know that the previous discussion would not be the only interruption they had on their journey…

…

The attack was incredibly sudden. Even Ash, with his heightened senses, didn't see it coming until it was almost too late. The only warning they had was a rather abrupt temperature drop and Leo shivering and wrapping his arms around his shell to say, "Brrr, got kinda cold all of a sudden, didn't it?" before an incredibly cold blast of wind gusted towards them, carrying several dozen razor-sharp nearly invisible icicle daggers and leaving snowflakes and frost in their wake. Ash's highly sensitive ears heard the air whistling as it rolled off the deceptively smooth surfaces of the ice shards just in time, grabbed Michael, and immediately leaped out of the way of the deadly wind. One of the icicles managed to nick the tip of his tail as it passed by him, causing him to gasp as a sensation of freezing cold raced up his spine and the very end of his tail turned to ice. The icicles shot past him and imbedded themselves in a nearby tree, which promptly was frozen solid and shattered into chunks of wood and ice.

Michael's jaw dropped. "What the…"

"Holy SHIT!" Leo yelled.

Pikachu grabbed the Squirtle and yanked him away. "Leo, get down!" he yelled as there was another gust of freezing wind, followed by a series of enormous ice spikes erupting from the ground heading in a line right towards them. Pikachu pulled Leo out of the way just before he could be skewered by one of the very big, cold, and jagged spikes. The spikes quickly formed a great wall of ice separating the teammates from each other in groups of two.

"What's going on?!" Michael cried.

"Someone's trying to kill us, that's what!" Ash yelled, frantically scanning the area with his Aura-sight. He didn't have time to locate their attackers, though, because suddenly it got colder and several dozen big and very pointy icicles materialized in the air above them before shooting downward at incredible speeds. Still holding onto Michael, Ash quickly used Extremespeed and his Aura-enhanced reflexes to evade the icicles as they shot at him one after the other like giant frozen homing missiles, burying themselves in the ground or shattering as they collided with each other as the Lucario ducked, dodged, and jumped out of the way of the icy bullets with only milliseconds to spare.

On the other side of the wall, Pikachu's blade nearly sung as it sliced through the air, deflecting and smashing icicle after icicle as they shot towards the electric mouse. His tail swished through the air too, glowing with Steel power as he used Iron Tail to guard his back and deflect any attacks from the rear. Leo, unable to move nearly as fast as Ash and Pikachu, was unable to do anything more than screaming at the top of his lungs and running in circles as the icicles tried to pierce his shell, desperately wishing that he had longer legs, was lighter and fitter, and didn't get winded so easily by something as simple as walking long distances. Inevitably, he tripped and fell, cringing at his surely soon-to-come death…and was surprised when the icicles shattered harmlessly against his back. He blinked in astonishment, and then realized that all of the junk he was carrying inside his shell must have been reinforcing his natural body armor to the point where it was nearly impossible to penetrate. And they had said he was stupid for bringing all of that stuff! Well, who was stupid now? Sighing in relief, he retracted his extremities into his shell and waited anxiously for the ice storm to end; gritting his teeth as he was rocked about constantly by the missiles that doggedly tried and failed to penetrate his armor.

After a few moments of relentless nonstop attacks, the icicle rain abruptly halted, snowflakes and ice chips raining down on the heads of the wary heroes as they waited for the other shoe to drop, doubting that this was the end of their troubles so soon.

They were right. The temperature didn't rise per se, but the air began crackling with electricity, and all their hair stood up (except for Leo, who didn't have any, yet.) The skies overhead darkened, and suddenly HUGE lightning bolts shot down towards them like immense thunder arrows. As Leo squealed in alarm, Pikachu immediately hurled Thunder Fang into the air, the sacred sword serving as a lightning rod and drawing all the lightning blasts towards it rather than down at the ground. Using this brief reprieve, Ash smashed his way through the ice wall to rejoin his teammates. "Ash, what's going on?" Pikachu asked his brother as Thunder Fang continued to absorb the lightning.

"I don't know, I haven't had time to look around," Ash said.

"Look around now! Look around now!" Leo yelled frantically.

Ash was about to do that when suddenly Thunder Fang absorbed as much of the lightning as it could and discharged the electrical energy in a blinding flash of light and static which shattered the remains of the ice wall, charred the ground and scorched the nearby trees black, gave Leo a somewhat painful jolt, and caused all the furred members of Team Aurabolt to suddenly resemble giant puffballs. Leo burst into laughter, although he knew he shouldn't have. He couldn't help it, he was feeling a little giddy and light-headed due to the discharge; Water-Pokemon were weak to electricity, after all. They gave him embarrassed and annoyed looks, but didn't even have time to rub down their fur when suddenly spheres of ball lightning started flying towards them from every angle. Pikachu grabbed his sword (which had fallen to the ground after discharging the previous lightning blasts) and started deflecting the orbs. Ash hurled Aura Spheres to try and detonate the balls before they reached the group, while Leo tried to help by spitting Bubble attacks to do the same thing and Michael surprised them (well, Ash and Pikachu, Leo already knew the attacks Michael possessed) by spewing Shadow Balls at the ball lightning the others missed. "I told you I knew some powerful attacks!" he quipped.

The ball lightning came at them for a few more frenetic minutes, but they managed to safely defend themselves from all the attacks. Finally, a lull came and the sphere battage stopped …but the team didn't let their guard down, certain that there was more to come.

Once more, they were right. The temperature rose sharply and suddenly a TREMENDOUS stream of flame at least ten feet high roared towards them, incinerating the ground it passed over and causing trees to catch on fire as it passed. Once again, Ash and Pikachu grabbed their slower teammates and pulled them out of the way of the fire just in time as it flew right by them and caused flames to erupt all over the place. Leo, fumbling with his askew glasses, tried to extinguish the fire with a Water Gun attack, but his feeble spout did little more than make the flames dance about more angrily and send gouts of smoke and steam up into the air. "Great, an enemy I'm finally supposed to have an advantage over, and I'm useless!" Leo complained.

Glowing blue Will-o-Wisp fireballs appeared out of thin air, swirled about, and threw themselves at the heroes. Simultaneously, other, much larger fireballs manifested and flew at the group, while embers and firebolts rained down from the sky, narrowly missing them but causing fires to form on the burnt and dry brush all around them, hampering their movements and threatening to create a full-fledged forest fire. "This is crazy! They might destroy the whole forest just trying to bring us down!" cried the horrified Michael as he danced about to dodge the flames. "Are the Nihilators behind this?"

"Who else?" Ash replied, using his Bone Rush staff to deflect the balls of flame that flew at him, and grimaced in dismay as they hit the ground and caused the fires surrounding them to grow even stronger. He wiped some sweat from his brow, fighting against the growing feeling of weakness and light-headedness he was experiencing. Fire was one of a Steel-type's greatest weaknesses, after all.

"It's like the elements themselves are conspiring against us! Whoever they've sent to kill us must be very powerful!" Pikachu commented as he sliced the fireballs apart with his sword, Vacuum-Cuts, and Iron Tail.

"It's probably a typical elemental trio…man, why is it always fire, ice, and lightning? Why not wind, or earth, or something different for a change?" Leo complained, using Bubbles and Water Guns to extinguish the fireballs and ground fires around him. He was elated to be useful for a change, though he still couldn't really do anything about the bigger infernos raging here and there. Maybe if he put out some of the smaller ones, the big fires would get weaker and not burn quite as strongly?

Apparently having a similar idea, Pikachu started sending out Vacuum Cuts in the directions of the largest flames, the electrically-charged waves slicing through the air and leaving gusts of wind in their wake that helped to weaken, and in some cases put out, the fires around them. As more and more fires were put out, the team was able to move more freely, and soon reunitee with each other. Unfortunately, the flames seemed to sense this and blazed up with renewed vigor, as more and more fireballs shot towards the group. "It's too strong! At this rate we're going to suffocate and burn to death!" Pikachu cried.

"Or choke on smoke," Leo wheezed, sucking on his inhaler.

"And then the whole forest will burn down! The Tree of Beginning won't be affected, but there are still a lot of innocent Pokemon who call this place home. They'll die if we don't do something!" Michael shouted over the roar of the flames.

Ash snapped his fingers. "I have an idea! Pikachu, what if we used a Drought Orb?"

Pikachu frowned. "Ash, those only work on water and magma!"

"It's fire," Ash argued. "That's not too different from magma, is it?"

"Actually," Leo rasped. "Fire is the rapid oxidation of a combustible material resulting in the release of heat, light, and various reaction products while magma is molten rock found beneath the surface of the Earth and possibly on other planets."

"Oh," said Ash. There was a pause. "Well, I'm going to use it anyway!" He pulled an Orb out of his knapsack and hurled it at the ground. It burst, releasing a flash of light which washed across the ground and extinguished all the flames surrounding them, putting out the forest fire and leaving nothing behind but scorched ground and horribly blackened and burnt trees.

Pikachu blinked in amazement. "It worked?"

"I'm just as surprised as you are," Leo gasped, taking another dose from his inhaler. "I'm not sure that was scientifically possible, given that Drought Orbs are supposed to only work on liquids…then again, magma isn't exactly a liquid, and I'm not really clear on how it 'dries up' something that's made of superhot melted rock…"

"Whoever's attacking us, come on out!" Michael shouted. "I am Michael Treesentinel, future Protector of the Tree of Beginning and the surrounding land and all those who dwell within it! You who nearly destroyed this forest, come out and face me! Show your faces, cowards!"

There was a moment's silence. Nothing happened. "Uh, I don't think they're going to come out just because you asked them-" Leo started.

Ice spikes erupted from the ground. Lightning shot down from the heavens. Fire burst into life, towering into the sky. "Oh, never mind," the Squirtle said.

The elements subsided, revealing three ghosts: a Froslass, a Rotom, and a Misdreavus. All looked significantly different from other members of their species; they were either larger than the norm, or were covered in strange glowing runes, or wore a witch's hat that actually would have been cute if not for the rather garish chain-like markings on the face of the spirit who was wearing it.

"Cowards? How very bold of you, little nothing," the Froslass crooned icily. "Especially coming from one who did nothing to stop his beloved sister from being taken by my _esteemed_ colleague Doctor Tarantulas, and ran away from his duties and home rather than staying and fighting for what he believed in."

Michael growled angrily. "That's a rather warped retelling of events, especially considering that Michael had no _choice_ but to do nothing due to the control chip your 'colleague' put in his head!" Ash argued.

"And because he ran away to find someone who could help him save his home and rescue his sister," Leo added. "Namely, us!"

The Froslass sneered. "What, you? I've seen more competent and impressive heroes rotting at the bottom of my compost heap!"

"We have a compost heap?" the Misdreavus asked in surprise.

The Froslass sighed in exasperation. "No, you dolt, it was a figure of speech I was using to convey my utter disgust and disregard of their abilities to them."

"Oh," said the Misdreavus. The Rotom snickered, her laughs sounding like the irritated buzzing of a swarm of angry Beedrill.

"Hey, I'll have you know that we've saved the world at least once, and our hometown a bunch of times, along with rescuing dozens of people from all sorts of bad situations," Ash said indignantly. "And we recently managed to save a whole town of turtle Pokemon from a monstrous zombie dragon through nonviolent means, by talking it into surrendering! How many heroes can do that, huh?"

"Actually, Ash, I think she was referring to Leo," Pikachu said.

"Hey!" Leo yelled.

"No, he's right, I was referring to you," the Froslass said.

"Oh," said Leo. There was a pause. "Hey!"

"What do you know about my sister?!" Michael asked furiously. "Where is she?! What has the Doctor done to her?!"

The Froslass laughed cruelly. "You who are about to die make demands of me? How pathetically adorable. I don't know what would be funnier, for me to tell you what's been done with her just so I can see the anguished look on your face as you learn the awful truth, or for me to say nothing at all and watch you squirm as you desperately wonder what happened to her, your mind racing from horrible possibility to horrible possibility, each worse than the last and yet not even _remotely_ as horrendous as her true fate!"

"Yeah! You see, what the Doctor did with her is-" the Misdreavus started.

The Froslass's eyes flashed with rage and she dealt the Banshee Pokemon a staggering blow. "Shut up, you imbecile! How many times have I told you never to open your mouth in public, everything that comes out of that gaping hole of yours is stupid and embarrasses us and makes it harder for our victims to take us seriously!"

The Misdreavus cringed. "Sorry, Mother…"

Michael ground his teeth angrily. "You…"

"Man, talk about an ice bitch!" Leo said, feeling some sympathy for the Misdreavus, even though she was probably an enemy and may have been trying to kill them a few minutes ago. "Who the hell are you three, anyway?!"

"Whoever they are, they're not Shadow Pokemon," Ash said after glancing at them through his Aura-sight. "But their Auras…I don't know if I've ever seen a Pokemon with an Aura as evil as that Froslass's before. And the Rotom's a close second. The Misdreavus, though…" He frowned. "There's something odd about it…"

The Froslass sighed. "Tell me about it…I've tried to fix the poor dear, but something went badly wrong with her when I murdered her and now she's, well…_damaged_. Unlike her sister here, who's a perfectly malevolent spirit that just _loves_ torturing and killing people and doing horrendous deeds, aren't you now, Marianne?" The Rotom buzzed and nodded happily.

"I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment, Mother," the Misdreavus said forlornly.

"Now, now, don't worry dear, we'll get you sorted out eventually," the Froslass said unkindly. "But right now we must kill these four interlopers and retrieve the map and Star Badge they have collected. Well, three of them, our master wants the Lucario alive."

Ash blinked in surprise. "Huh? He does? Why?"

"Your master? The leader of the Nihilators? Who is he?" Pikachu asked.

"And _where?_" Michael demanded.

"And how'd you know we even had a Badge in the first place?" Leo asked suspiciously.

"You just told us," said the Misdreavus.

"Oh," Leo said, embarrassed.

The Froslass laughed. "You still persist in trying to get information from me? I'm afraid you're out of luck. And my imbecilic daughter won't be able to help you either, since I've made certain she knows nothing of headquarters or our leader's true identity specifically to prevent her from blurting it out randomly to do-gooders such as yourselves. Not that that knowledge would help you anyway, since you don't have a chance of reaching our stronghold, let alone defeating our indomitable leader!" She smirked. "You don't even have a chance of defeating us, really."

"We've defeated ghosts before," Pikachu said, unimpressed.

"Uh, how many of them have been level 100?" Leo asked anxiously as he peered at the ghostly trio through his sunglasses.

The others gave him horrified looks. "They're that strong?!" Michael cried.

"Well, the Froslass is…the other two are also powerful, but not quite at that level," Leo reported. "The Rotom's at level 70 or so, and the Misdreavus is only in the 40s. They all know a ton of strong attacks, though, and what look like…spells?! Are you three sorceresses or something?!"

"Bzzbzzbzzzz?" Marianne asked, startled.

"How did you know that?" asked the equally surprised Froslass. "You're much more perceptive than I thought…"

"And he has nice sunglasses," the Misdreavus said wistfully. The Froslass smacked her. "Sorry, Mother."

"Knowing our level and attacks will not enable you to survive against us," the Froslass continued. "Only a very select number of mortals has ever bested us in combat, and you four will not be joining that number anytime soon."

Leo smirked. "Hasn't anyone ever told you not to tempt fate, lady? Pretty much every villain who's ever said something like that has almost always been handed their asses in a humiliating defeat minutes later!"

Ash nodded in agreement. "Leo's right, we can beat you no matter how powerful you might be as long as we work as a team!"

The Froslass chuckled. "Now who's tempting fate? Be careful what you wish for…" She pointed a hand upwards and fired an Ice Beam into the air. Marianne buzzed and twirled around and shot a lightning bolt into the sky. The Misdreavus took a deep breath and spewed a stream of fire up after the other energy bolts. Team Aurabolt tensely glanced upwards, wondering what was about to happen next.

They found out a moment later. There was a twinkle in the sky high above them, and suddenly a huge swirling energy bolt formed from the combined elemental power the ghosts had thrown into the air shot down right towards them. "SCATTER!" Pikachu yelled, seeing that the blast was too big for him to block with his sword.

They quickly rushed away from the point of impact in all directions just before the blast hit the ground they had been standing on and exploded…

Which was exactly what the sorceresses had wanted them to do. Elemental energy shot out from where the combined beam had struck the ground and encircled each member of Team Aurabolt in a prison comprised of elemental fury. Ash was trapped in a circle of towering jagged ice spikes, Pikachu was stuck in the middle of a ring of electricity, and Leo and Michael were caught in the center of a roaring wall of fire.

"Well, fuck," Leo groaned.

"Ash, when will you learn not to say things like that?!" Pikachu shouted in exasperation.

"Whoops," Ash said sheepishly.

"I'm guessing this is the part where they pick us off one by one," Michael said.

"Probably," said Leo.

"So why'd they stick us together?" Michael wondered.

"We're the newest and most inexperienced members of the team, so should be easy pickings?" Leo guessed.

"Actually, I've probably had a bit more fighting experience than you…" Michael said, glancing at Leo's, er, baby fat and glasses.

Leo glared at him. "Rub it in, why don't you."

"Pikachu, do we still have a One-Room Orb? Maybe that'll get rid of these barriers," Ash yelled to his brother over the ice wall.

"Ash, those only work on solid walls, and in dungeons!" Pikachu called back.

"That's what you said about the Drought Orb, and look how well that turned out," Ash pointed out.

Pikachu grumbled and started looking through his knapsack. "Hold on, let me get it out…" His search was interrupted when a lightning bolt shot at him. He nimbly dodged out of the way, glancing upwards as the immense Rotom called Marianne, crackling with power and buzzing gleefully, floated down towards him. "Hold that thought." He brandished his sword, preparing for battle.

The other two ghosts each appeared in the enclosures of their respective elements. "I'm afraid your friends won't be leaving here alive, young one," the Froslass told Ash coolly as she descended towards the Lucario, snowflakes falling around them and coating the ground in white. "You, on the other hand, will survive…frozen in a block of ice, but still alive, at least until our leader is through with you!"

"Hi," the Misdreavus said as she appeared before Leo and Michael in a burst of flame. "Sorry I have to kill you now, you seem like nice people, but Mother says you have to die, and bad things always happen when Mother doesn't get what she wants."

Leo sweatdropped. "Uh…that's all right…?" he said uncertainly. He gave Michael a confused look. The Eevee shrugged, just as perplexed as he was.

The Misdreavus perked up. "Oh, you don't mind? Good, I always feel awfully guilty for a while after killing someone, which gets Mother angry because she says people like us should never feel guilty for doing anything, and…well, it's not very nice around the lair when she's angry. Especially for me." A pair of great flaming wheels appeared on either side of her. "So I'll try to make it quick, okay?" Leo and Michael gulped.

…

Ash clenched his fists, which burst into blue flames. "You realize that you're at a bit of a disadvantage, don't you? Seeing as how I'm part Steel-type, and therefore am strong against your Ice attacks?"

The Froslass smirked. "My dear boy, do you really think type advantage means much when you're at as high a level and as old as I am? I've been killing your kind for centuries, child. Additionally, you're also part Fighting-type, and Fighting moves have no effect on me."

Ash smirked. "Then it's a good thing that Fighting moves aren't all I know, isn't it?" The spikes on the back of his knuckles glowed and transformed into a pair of three-tined Metal Claws. With a yell, he charged towards the ice witch at incredible velocity using ExtremeSpeed. She faded out of existence the instant before he would have hit her, but he had been expecting her to do that; he had fought Ghosts before, after all. Immediately closing his eyes and switching to Aura-sight, he detected the Froslass behind him, charging up an attack. Even when shifting through another plane of existence, he was still able to track her by her Aura. He continued rushing forward, however, and dug his claws into the ice wall ringing them, using the leverage and his momentum to flip into the air and shoot back towards the Froslass, still at incredible speeds and at the proper height to avoid the storm of Ice Shards she had hurled at his back. Even if he _was_ somewhat resistant to Ice, he was pretty sure that being skewered by ice daggers sharp enough to penetrate rocks would still hurt a bit.

Again, she vanished before he could hit her, hurling a rather large Shadow Ball at him the moment she reappeared. He countered with an Aura Sphere, the two energy orbs colliding with an explosion which temporarily covered both of them in smoke. Ash opened his eyes, ignoring how the smoke stung his pupils, and used Foresight, a move that would keep the witch from evading him and also allow him to hit her with his regular attacks. The downside of the move was that he couldn't use Aura-sight at the same time, hindering some of the tactical advantage he got from his nearly precognitive sixth sense.

An experienced fighter, the Froslass immediately recognized the gleam in the Lucario's eye when the smoke cleared and he advanced on her, and knew she had to act quickly to remove any advantage he could get from using the Foresight technique. Knowing from fights with other Lucario that he could not use Aura-sight and Foresight at the same time, she used a combination of Substitute, Double Team, and an illusion spell of her own crafting to create a number of icy clones of herself that would possess just enough substance to be able to damage her opponent…and also prevent him from telling which one was the real her. To make things even more complicated, each of the clones then began to prepare a different attack; one fired a Confuse Ray, one summoned an Ominous Wind, another flung Ice Shards, yet another used Captivate, and a fifth used Psychic.

Ash immediately acted to dodge the attacks, but the sixth clone (in actuality, the real one) had been waiting for him to move and immediately used Spikes, which caused small (but very sharp) icy spikes to erupt from the ground right underneath the Lucario and pierce his feet from below, causing him to cry in agony as his sensitive toes were seriously damaged…and render him unable to avoid the flurry of attacks, which all hit him at once. The Ray confused him and snapped him out of his Foresight, the Wind buffeted his bones and exacerbated his wounds as it tried to knock him off his caught feet, the Shards pierced his body like daggers, the Captivate did absolutely nothing (not that it had really been supposed to, it was just something meant to keep him on his toes), and the Psychic tore him free from his imprisonment, also ripping out a great deal of flesh and musculature as he was forcibly wrenched off the spikes and hurled _hard_ into the ice wall, possibly doing irreparable damage to his feet…and maybe his spine. The ice sorceress certainly hoped she had broken something.

"You poor thing," she cooed with mock compassion as she glided closer to the bleeding and pain-wracked Lucario, her clones still swirling around her with identical looks of sadistic glee on their faces. "Don't worry, I'll make the hurting stop…" Her eyes glowed and she cast a spell of sleep over him. Normally a Lucario's will would be too strong to be affected by such a simple enchantment, but in his current weakened and confused state he was more than vulnerable. To his credit, Ash struggled against it, trying to stand up even though his legs buckled and screamed as he put pressure on them and blood oozed out from the holes in his feet and his vision swam and he could have sworn he saw six Froslasses instead of one. (He did, but he chalked that up to the Confuse Ray.) However, the witch had defeated far stronger Lucario warriors than he, and inevitably he succumbed, slumping to his knees and falling to the ground face-first, fast asleep.

The Froslass smiled kindly…then all six of her drew back their arms and smacked him in the face one after the other with a Wake-Up Slap, having the double effect of waking him up and nearly snapping off his nose as it got pummeled repeatedly by the evil ice phantoms. "NOT!" she shouted joyously. As Ash gasped awake and whimpered at the immense pain he was reintroduced to, blood spurting from his wounded and sensitive snout, the Froslasses smiled cruelly and raised their hands as they gathered power. "You didn't think I'd let you escape your suffering that easily, did you youngling?" Before Ash could reply, he was hit by six Ice Beams from all sides, the witch's sheer power and experience overwhelming his weakened resistance and freezing him in a solid block of ice. The enchantress cackled and licked the ice, admiring the anguished expression frozen (literally) on her captive's face. "He makes a rather handsome Lucariocicle, wouldn't you agree, girls?" she asked her clones. "You don't suppose Oblivion's Shadow would allow us to have some more fun with him before we give him the boy's soul, do you?" They all giggled, their laughs as high and cold and heartless as the arctic winds to the north.

…

Pikachu was doing a little better against Marianne the Rotom, but not by much. It didn't help that they were both Electric-types and that the majority of their attacks didn't have much of an effect on each other, which didn't keep the shock-happy Plasma spirit from hurling bolt after bolt of power at him. Pikachu thought that if he could pierce the lightning witch with his sword, the holy-infused discharge from Thunder Fang could overload her negatively-charged energy-based body and destroy her, or at the very least inflict a lot of damage. This was easier said than done, considering that she could literally move as fast as lightning and dash all over their enclosure to evade Pikachu every time he got close to her and that her ability to change formes gave her a rather broad array of different-Typed attacks to use against him.

"This is ridiculous," Pikachu grumbled as Marianne assumed her Frost Forme, which looked like a big orange and purple refrigerator, opened her front doors, and unleashed a Blizzard at him, firing snowballs from the shelves on her interior. "I _eat_ from refrigerators! My little brother occasionally hides in ours despite being told repeatedly that if he does so, he'll freeze to death, and that the little light inside stays _off_ when the door closes! So why am I fighting one?!" He slashed his blade through the air, firing off Vacuum Cuts which sliced apart the snowballs and pushed the giant evil fridge back without visibly harming her. Unfortunately for Pikachu, Marianne's other Formes were just as resistant to electricity as her regular form, and Pikachu's Vacuum Cut waves didn't pack enough of his magic sword's holy power to significantly damage her, other than making her aura (the electric one, not her Aura aura) spark briefly.

Buzzing in amusement at Pikachu's futile efforts, Marianne jumped away in a bolt of lightning as the samurai ran towards her, reappearing on the other side of the enclosure and changing into her Wash Forme, which looked like an orange washing machine with a pipe tail, voltage arms that looked like pliers, and a blue electric aura. The haunted washing machine pointed her pipe at Pikachu and unleashed a torrent of high-pressure water at him. Pikachu used his Agility to dash out of the way, running around their walled-in battlefield and causing Marianne's Hydro Pump to splash out along the floor in his wake. Pikachu noted that none of the water touched the high-voltage walls enclosing them. Getting an idea, he kept running until he'd completed a loop around the field (it didn't take long), flipped backwards over the Pump, and drove his sword into the wet ground soaked by the Rotom's water jet. Holy electricity crackled out from his blade, ran up the still-active water spout, and flew right into the pipe sticking out of Marianne's side, allowing the charge to enter her body and disrupt her energy makeup, causing her to shriek in agony as she briefly lost control of her transformation and reverted back to her regular forme, wild arcs of static emanating erratically from her crackling body.

Pikachu smirked. "Sorry, but I don't feel like taking a bath or washing my clothes right now. Perhaps you should try the dryer?"

He probably shouldn't have said that, because Marianne took that suggestion to heart after recovering and shifted to her Heat Forme, which looked like…well, like a big orange toaster oven with a red aura and electricity arms shaped like oven mitts. Its front door flipped down and spewed an extremely powerful blast of orange-yellow fire at Pikachu. He yelped and quickly dashed out of the way of the flames. "Wasn't your sister supposed to be the fiery one?!" he yelled as he dunked his tail, which had gotten singed by the blast, into the puddles of water still scattered around the field. "Ugh, why did I do that, it's the others who usually shout their mouth off…and why am I suddenly reminded of that one time Pichu stuck aluminum foil in the microwave to see what would happen?"

Rather than using Overheat again right away, knowing that its power diminished the more she used it in close proximity, Marianne shape-shifted again to her Spin Forme, which resembled an electric (naturally) fan with a yellow aura and arms that looked like stylized gusts of wind. Pikachu wisely refrained from making any stupid quips, which proved to be a good decision when the fan blades started spinning and shot an Air Slash wind ball at him while generating a very strong wind current that pushed Pikachu back towards the wall. Bracing himself against the wind and digging his Iron Tail into the ground to anchor himself, Pikachu lashed out with Vacuum Cuts…only for the wind to blow them right back at him, much to his horror! He quickly raised his sword to shield himself, and most of the energy waves broke upon his blade (though their fragments managed to still open several rather stinging but otherwise harmless cuts on his face, arms, and chest), but one of them came in at a weird angle and got past his guard, chopping off the tip of his right ear. He cried in pain as blood spilled from the ear, accidentally dropping his guard and getting hit in the face by another of Marianne's Air Slashes, cutting up his face and ripping him off the ground. Stunned and pushed back by the Rotom's powerful wind, Pikachu was slammed into the wall of electricity behind him, causing him to cry out in pain as the 'evil'-charged voltage coursed through his body for several seconds. He dropped from the wall and fell to his knees, gasping for breath and using his sword as a crutch to keep from collapsing completely.

As aroused by his weakness and spilled blood as a Sharpedo, Marianne changed to her Cut Forme, which resembled a demonic orange lawnmower with a single green electric appendage shaped like a razor sprouting from the front, and eagerly rushed forward for the kill…

…

Meanwhile, the Misdreavus took a deep breath then exhaled a tremendous stream of fire which rushed across the field towards Leo and Michael. "Waaaah! Run for your life!" Leo yelled, only to notice that Michael was no longer with him and there was a rather conspicuous hole in the ground right next to him. "Hey! Don't leave me alone up here, she'll kill me!"

"You're a Water Pokemon!" Michael yelled back at him from underground. "Just put out the fire!"

Leo tried. He spat Bubbles at the immense gout of flame, but they burst and evaporated on contact with the ultra-hot stream. "Well, that didn't work. Make room down there, I'm coming in!" He dived head-first into Michael's hole…and got stuck partway. It was a little too small for his shell. "Ah, crap. Mom was right, I shouldn't have eaten all those pork rinds…can I get a little help here?!"

"Hold on!" Michael climbed back up the tunnel, grabbed Leo's hand in his mouth, and started tugging.

"Ow! Hey, what're you doing?!" Leo cried.

"In cashe you haffn't notished, I don't exshactly haff opposhable thumbsh here!" Michael grunted through his mouthful of Leo's flesh. "Maybe if you helped me out with shome of your own?"

"Uh, right, hold on…" Trying to squeeze his remaining arm past his head and the confining walls of Michael's tunnel, Leo felt for a handhold in the dirt wall. After a moment, he grabbed something and pulled…only to discover it wasn't the wall.

"Ow!" Michael yelped, letting go of Leo's hand and yanking his tail from the Squirtle's hand. "What'd you do that for?!"

"Sorry, but it's kind of tight down here, and these shades don't allow me to see in the dark…_yet_…" Leo said apologetically.

Michael growled and groomed his hurt tail. "Maybe I should just leave you up here, you could stand to lose some weight. Maybe that fire will melt some of your pounds away."

Leo frowned. "I'm not that fat…Speaking of which…shouldn't my ass be on fire by now? What's keeping that flaming mass of death, shouldn't it have reached us already?"

That's when they heard what sounded remarkably like…giggling? "Wait a minute. Is she _laughing _up there?!" asked a stunned Michael.

"Hehehehehe! Hahahahahaha!" laughed the Misdreavus, snorting and snickering at Leo's wiggling rear and tail as they protruded from Michael's hole and at the loud arguing she could hear from within it. "Hahahaha…oh, I haven't laughed like that in a long time! You two are both so funny! I'm almost sorry I'm going to have to kill you."

"Uh, you know," Leo yelled from underground. "Maybe you could just _not_ kill us. Did you ever consider that? I mean, if you think we're funny, comedy talent like ours shouldn't be destroyed before it can develop and spread around the world, right?"

"What are you doing?" Michael hissed.

"Trying to talk our way out of this, violence isn't always the answer!" Leo hissed back.

The Misdreavus tilted her head in thought. "To be honest, I have considered it. But I'm afraid that's not really an option…"

"How come?" Leo asked. "You seem like a perfectly nice ghost girl. What are you doing going around killing people and working for a nasty bi…er, witch like that Froslass?"

The Misdreavus frowned. Her hair writhed, and suddenly elongated into tentacles that lashed out, grabbed Leo by the legs, and yanked him out of the hole. "Whoa!" he yelled as the ghost raised him into the air, holding him upside-down so that the blood rushed to his head and everything looked disorienting. "Uh…hi there," he said to the upside-down ghost that was holding him.

"Why did you say that about my Mother?" the Misdreavus asked.

"Say what?" Leo asked.

"That she's a nasty person," said the Misdreavus.

Leo shrugged awkwardly. "Well, probably because she's trying to kill us…and, you know, beat you up a lot for no reason. Didn't really seem right for her to do that."

"Not to mention how she was taunting me about my sister," Michael growled as he climbed out of the hole. "Most 'nice' people don't really go around doing that."

"Really?" asked the ghost, sounding somewhat surprised. "I've never met any nice people that I haven't been told to kill, so I didn't know that. I thought everyone was supposed to behave like that, which is why Mother always says I'm a freak for not acting in a similar manner all the time."

"Aww, that sucks," Leo said sympathetically. "Led a sheltered life, er, death, huh?"

"More like been ruthlessly trained to be a heartless, evil sorceress like Mother," the Misdreavus replied.

"It doesn't seem to be working out too well for you," Leo observed. "If you were anything like your old lady, you'd have killed us by now rather than just talking to us."

The Misdreavus sighed unhappily. "I know. Mother says I'm too soft and weak to be the proper daughter she deserves. I always feel a little sympathetic for the people I kill and have trouble mustering up the proper anger and hatred and cruelty she always says that a true evil sorceress needs to shroud herself in. She'll probably torture me later for stopping to chat with you rather than killing you outright."

"She'll torture you just for talking to us?!" asked a shocked Michael.

"Oh, it's all right, she tortures me all the time," the Misdreavus said, not sounding particularly bothered by it. "Since I'm a constant disappointment to her. I got used to it after a few centuries, though, but she does it anyway now and then since she needs someone to vent her frustrations on whenever she's used up all her prisoners, and she's still hoping something will get through to me and make me a wicked sorceress like her and my sister, Marianne. Don't your parents do the same thing?"

"No!" yelled the horrified Michael. "Well, mainly because they're dead, but my grandmother doesn't torture me either for messing up or her just being in the mood! She can be pretty strict--she has to be considering who she is—but she's never _tortured_ me!"

Leo nodded in agreement. "Same here! Well, my dad's been missing for a few years until recently, but even when he was around he never tortured me! Well, unless you count training torture, that is…"

"Huh," said the Misdreavus, looking amazed. "I didn't know that, either. Are most families not like mine, then?"

"From what little I know of your family so far, HELL YEAH!" Leo said.

The ghost frowned. "Strange…then does that mean all the things B has told me are true after all, and not just the random, gibbering thoughts of a worthless and underdeveloped mind, like Mother always said they were?"

"Probably," said Michael.

"Who's B?" Leo asked.

The Misdreavus perked up. "Oh, she's my imaginary friend!"

There was a pause. "Your…imaginary friend?" Leo asked slowly.

The ghost nodded excitedly. "Yes, I've known her for hundreds of years!" She pouted. "Even though I keep trying to make her leave me alone, since Mother says I can't have any friends, especially not imaginary ones, because they'll only distract me from my studies and killings. But no matter how many times I tell B to go away, she always comes back, and is always trying to convince me that doing evil things is bad for some reason. Her distraction and persistence in refusing to stop existing have caused Mother to torture me severely on quite a few occasions…but on the other hand, if it weren't for her constant company I think I would have completely lost it long ago and become a monster like Marianne or Mother. B says that's a good thing, but I've never really been sure."

Michael and Leo exchanged uncertain glances, neither of them entirely certain that she hadn't _already_ completely lost it. Still, if she was having some doubts about what she was doing… "Well, she's right, whoever this…B is," Michael said. "Doing evil things _is_ bad." He paused. "Did that sound as redundant as I thought it did?"

"Yes," said Michael. "But both of you—by which I mean Leo and B—are right, it's much better in the long run to do good deeds and be a hero than to be a villain and do bad stuff that'll eventually get you defeated by a hero!"

The Misdreavus frowned. "Lots of heroes who've fought Mother have said that. Then she kills them or tortures them until they scream for death or are no longer capable of intelligible thought and then are either kept around a bit longer to play with or are sacrificed for Mother's dark magic."

Leo and Michael cringed. "Ah. Well…" said Leo.

"Just because you can win by doing evil things doesn't mean it's right to be evil," Michael said. "Might doesn't make right, after all."

She gave them a skeptical look. "That doesn't sound right, considering most of the things I've seen…"

"No, really!" Leo said. "I mean, yeah, beating up someone shows them you're the boss, but that doesn't mean it's the right way to go about resolving a situation! Take me, for instance. A few years ago, my village was conquered by an evil dragon that slaughtered my father and most of our other warriors and forced us to give it tribute in food once a month, lest we be eaten! I swore that I would do whatever it took to avenge their deaths and save the town, so when Ash and Pikachu came by on a journey of their own which coincidentally involved taking on the dragon, I joined them up without a second thought! And then, when we finally reached the dragon, do you know what we found?"

"No," said the Misdreavus, enthralled. "What?"

"We found out that it wasn't such a bad guy after all. Actually, it was a girl! A mama dragon that'd been rather badly wounded in a previous fight with some nasty, intolerant Pokemon from another town who killed her mate and sent her fleeing with her precious eggs in tow. A wicked demon near our village deceived her into thinking we were evil too, so that she'd have no compunctions with forcing us to give her tribute rather than just asking for us to help her out…all so that she could keep her babies from starving when they hatched!" Leo explained.

"Ohhh," the ghost said, amazed.

"And when we realized that the dragon was not the monster we thought she was, there was only one thing we could do," Leo continued.

"Kill her and her children and use their flesh to feed your village and their various other body parts for alchemical purposes?" the Banshee Pokemon guessed.

"Ew," said a disgusted Michael.

Leo shook his head. "No! _We talked to her_. We helped her realize she'd been wrong about my town all along, and had been fooled by the demon. We were able to convince her to not only stop exploiting my village but to resurrect most of the people she'd killed using necromancy and return them to their living loved ones—including my Dad!--so long as they agreed to take care of her children, because she would no longer be able to."

The ghost frowned. "What? Why not? Did you kill her after all?"

Leo shook his head. "No. She was dying already, had been dying for years in fact, and had been fretting for ages about how when she eventually croaked there'd be no one left to raise her kids. By resolving matters between her and Turtle Town and giving her children a home in our village, she was able to die in peace, unworried for the safety of her babies. We didn't need to lift a claw to get rid of her, she did it all by herself, once she was made to see the truth. We saved the town without resorting to violence, showing that fighting and might, while powerful tools, aren't always the way to go."

The Misdreavus gasped. "That's…incredible! It sounds like something B once told me…" She paused and frowned. "Wait. How do I know you're not making this up?"

"Does this look like the face of a guy who would lie to you?" Leo grinned.

"I'm pretty sure he's not making it up," said Michael. "I've heard this story already, and both his friends confirmed it."

"I…see," said the confused Misdreavus. "I…I'm not sure what to make of all this. I never imagined that something like that could ever happen before." She paused. "Wait…are you suggesting that we could reach a similar solution? That we don't have to fight?"

"Pretty much, yeah," said Leo.

The ghost frowned, and cocked her head to the side, as if listening to something. "Who are you listening to?" asked Michael.

"B," said the Misdreavus.

They blinked. "She's, uh, here now?" asked Leo.

She snorted. "Of course not, she just lives in another dimension and can talk to me whenever she wants! And I can't drown her out or make her leave me alone, no matter how much Mother wants me to."

There was an awkward pause. "Oh," Michael said uncertainly. Jovi had had imaginary friends once too, but she had outgrown them when she was three and started referring to herself in the third person. She had never stopped…

"Uh…an interdimensional being?" Leo asked, suddenly wondering if perhaps B might be real after all. Interdimensional beings were perfectly reasonable things to encounter on an epic adventure, after all. "Can she see us now?"

"Yes," the Misdreavus said, not really focusing on the turtle. "She says you're cute."

Leo blinked. A girl from another dimension that might not actually exist found him cute? He blushed. "Uh…thanks?"

"She says that I should listen to what you're saying, leave Mother, and join your team to help save the world," the Misdreavus said.

"Oh! Well, that would be wonderful!" Leo said in relief, wondering if perhaps they had just found their fourth team member. Two new party members before they'd even reached the second dungeon? Not unheard of, but still quite remarkable! "I mean, we could certainly use your help!"

"And find my sister," Michael said warily, not sure he was believing what he was hearing. It almost sounded too good to be true.

Unfortunately, it was. "B says I _should_ join you…but I won't," she said flatly and with a hint of regret in her voice. Abruptly, she released her grip on Leo, causing him to fall on his head.

"Ow! What was that for?!" he yelled. "And…wait, you mean you're not gonna join us? How come?! Didn't you hear any of the stuff I was just talking about?"

"I did," said the Misdreavus. "And your story was very nice, but you seem to have forgotten some things. I'm not a misunderstood person doing bad things to protect someone she cares for, I'm Lily, the evil daughter of Bellum, one of the greatest and evilest witches to ever die, and who intends to destroy this world. As her daughter, I can do nothing less than help her in her plans, no matter how much uncertainty I feel about my own actions, or what those around me say to the contrary."

"But…but it doesn't have to be that way!" protested Leo. "You don't have to be evil!"

"Yeah, you could join us! We could protect you from your mother!" Michael added a little desperately, really not looking forward to fighting this surprisingly complex (and potentially lethal and unhinged) individual.

"No," the Misdreavus whom they now knew was called Lily said. "You can't. Nobody can. And I'm not sure that I really want them to." A pair of flaming wheels formed on either side of her head. "Now I'm going to kill you. I'll try to make it as quick and painless as I can. It's the least I can do for someone who, were circumstances different, might have been my first real friends."

…

Bellum and her clones smirked, admiring their handiwork…and simultaneously frowned when the ice statue began to shake. "Hmm? What is-"

With a great yell, the ice encasing Ash shattered as he released a tremendous burst of Aura that blasted his prison to smithereens and caused the Froslasses to flinch and back away. Gasping for breath, Ash slumped, his many wounds taking their toll on him…until he pulled out a Full Restore from his knapsack and quickly applied it to his feet, nose, and chest before Bellum and her 'siblings' completely recovered. The medicine worked its healing magic, mending the holes in his feet and fixing up his broken nose. It also cured the bit of Freeze he had caught from being…well, frozen. "Okay," he grunted as he got back up, tossing his used-up potion bottle away. "Let's try this again."

"Hmmph. You still wish to fight?" Bellum mocked as she and her clones circled him once more. "Very well. I'm afraid that this battle shall have the same result as the last one." The six Froslasses began charging up different attacks again.

Ash smirked. "What, you think you're the only one who can do that?" His form blurred as he used Double Team, and suddenly he was gone and there were a ring of Lucarios facing the backs of the ice ghosts, each of them charging an Aura Sphere in their hands.

"The only one who can do it well," Bellum replied, calling her clones back to her, each of them spinning about her and firing her attacks at the speed images, destroying all of them while the real Bellum fired an Ice Beam upwards, expecting that to be where the real Ash planned to attack from…

And was surprised when her beam hit nothing but air. "Eh? Where did he-"

Ash burst out from the snowy ground underneath her and hit her and her clones with a spinning strike from his Bone Rush staff, causing the duplicates to shatter into shards of ice with agonized screams while the real Bellum was slammed into the ice wall. "Ugh! What…you know Dig?!"

Ash smirked and twirled his staff in his hands. "Sure, let's go with that." Actually, he had broken formation with his body doubles when Bellum and her cronies destroyed his Double Team images, hiding himself directly underneath the coven while they were busy using their attacks and concealing himself in a pile of snow formed by all the cold attacks that had been used in this small arena, but he saw no reason to tell her that.

"Hmm. Not bad," Bellum admitted grudgingly. Abruptly, she vanished. Ash immediately used his Aura-sight and flung his Bone Rush staff at where he sensed she was heading, but as she rematerialized in the physical world she formed an Ice Shard blade and used it to slice the bone in two, causing its two halves to sail past her and disintegrate. "But I'm better." She gestured, and suddenly a Blizzard descended on the field. Ash winced and shielded his eyes as biting winds, bits of hail, and snowflakes whirled around him, reducing his vision to just a few feet around him and causing his nose to run and his extremities to stiffen slightly. It was _cold_, almost as cold as Mt. Freeze had been when he and Pikachu had been forced to trek up the frozen summit to get the Ninetales mystic Krysta to clear his name some months ago.

He shut his eyes and used Aura-sight to see through the fog and snow around him, immediately spotting Bellum…and her friends. She had cloned herself again, and each ice witch now carried an icicle blade, a cool sneer on their faces as they circled him, closing in for the kill. Without warning, one shot towards him, and he immediately sidestepped the attack, thrusting a footpaw at the ghost as it passed…but the clones seemed to possess the same immunity to Normal and Fighting moves as the original, and his kick just passed through the duplicate like it wasn't even there. With his Aura-sight, he sensed two more ghosts dashing at him from behind at intersecting angles, hoping to catch him in a scissor move, while at the same time a third was preparing a Shadow Ball right in front of him, a fourth and fifth hovering above him were charging up an Ice Beam and an Ominous Wind attack, a sixth was hovering far to the side, doing nothing in particular, and a seventh was floating above the battlefield, just watching. He could tell, at a moment's glance, that all of them were clones save for the one observing from on high. He also knew that he had barely seconds to get out of the way before the Froslasses behind him ran him through on their blades.

However, he didn't move out of the way. He remembered what had happened the last time he tried that, and assumed the sixth clone was there to use Spikes and hold him in place so he'd get hit by all the other attacks. Rather than oblige them, he decided to do something a little unexpected. He formed an Aura Sphere in his hands…

Then, at the last moment, hurled it at his feet, the explosion blasting him into the air just before the clones behind him could catch him in their scissor strike. While they weren't affected by the Aura blast, they were all too vulnerable to the Shadow Ball the third clone fired a millisecond too late, and both were shattered by the dark sphere's explosion.

As Ash rose into the air, the flying clones unleashed their Ice Beam and Ominous Wind at the same time. Ash hurled Aura Spheres in both their directions, causing explosions which temporarily halted both attacks and stunned the duo long enough for him to hurl another Aura Sphere at the ground and blast him further into the air. As the two Froslass still on the ground charged their attacks, Ash formed a Bone Rush staff and hurled it upwards at the one true Bellum floating there, causing her to phase away, just as he had hoped. Focusing his attention back on the groundbound clones, he thrust his hands out and—with some reluctance—fired Dark Pulses down at them. Ash did not use Dark Pulse often, which was odd, since he was pretty good at it, but every time he used it he couldn't help feeling a bit…uncomfortable. He much preferred Aura Spheres. But since he couldn't use those on his current enemies, he was forced to rely on whatever was available, hence why he was using his least favorite attack. The dark energy beams tore through the defenses of the ice clones and shattered them to pieces.

The other two aerial clones regained their sight and started charging up attacks again. Ash prepared to counter them, but then the true Bellum reappeared and used Psychic, causing the Lucario to hover immobile in the air while surrounded by a blue glow. (Not Aura, unfortunately) "He's all yours, girls!" she called down to her 'sisters.'

Seeing no other option, Ash opened his mouth and let out a Metal Sound, a horrible shriek like the noise of scraping metal that caused Bellum to flinch and lose her concentration, causing her telekinetic grip on Ash to fade. Metal Sound was another attack Ash didn't like using, not because it made him vaguely uncomfortable, but because his throat hurt for days afterwards and his voice became hoarse and raspy for a long while. The clones flinched too, not because their hearing was impaired by the loud noise but because the high sonic frequency caused the ice they were formed of to vibrate and crack unpleasantly. As Ash started falling, he formed another Bone Rush staff, snapped it in two over his knee, and hurled it at the clones. Each makeshift Bonemerang struck the stunned clones and caused them to shatter. He then pointed his hands upward and fired an Aura Sphere at the recovering Bellum. She sneered at his apparent foolishness and made no move to dodge it, expecting it to pass right through her…

Until Ash's eyes opened and lit up as he used Foresight. Even though he couldn't actually see Bellum through the Blizzard without Aura-sight, the technique's effect still targeted the ghost and rendered her completely corporeal, which explained why she was rather surprised when the Sphere hit her and exploded, causing her to scream in agony as she experienced what had to be the first real pain she'd felt in…what, decades? Longer, even? Injured by the Foresight-boosted Sphere, her power waned and caused the Blizzard to ebb, allowing Ash to see the dazed and hurt Froslass falling towards the snowy ground.

Not intending to let this opportunity go to waste, he pushed off just as he landed, launching himself back into the air on an intercept course towards Bellum. She recovered from the daze of getting hurt for the first time in ages just in time to receive an Aura-infused roundhouse kick to the face, sending her flying head over nonexistent heels towards the ice wall, which she hit with a thud and a grunt of pain and surprise. Ash landed and dashed over to where the stunned Froslass was floating as fast as he possibly could, using ExtremeSpeed to boost his run as he drew back a burning fist. At the last second, Bellum seemed to recover, conjured another icicle dagger, and thrust it forward just as he reached her. The dagger pierced his side and caused a rush of cold pain to flow throughout his body, but her attack had been just a second too late; his fist had been moving forward even before she had driven her weapon into him and so he smashed it into her face with as much power as he could muster, delivering an Aura-infused Focus Punch which would have caved her head in if she hadn't been a ghost and caused the ice wall surrounding them to shatter in an explosion of blue flame.

Bellum, thrown by the force of the punch, flew through the air with a high-pitched wail and hit the ground with a thud, lying there still. Ash panted, ripped the ice dagger from his chest, and hurled it away as the temperature began to return to normal again. "That's for all the Aura Guardians before me you claim to have killed, bitch. Maybe you'll think twice before going after us again in the future."

…

As a lawnmower, Marianne gleefully rushed towards the wounded and helpless Pikachu, eagerly looking forward to shredding him to pieces beneath her blades…

Only to realize, far too late, that the samurai was not as defeated as he appeared to be. Just before she could slam into him, Pikachu's eyes narrowed. He rose to his feet and slashed at the Rotom with his blade before she could get out of the way, the momentum of his swing carrying him a step past her as the haunted lawnmower drove a few feet past him and abruptly split into two, buzzing in agony as green bolts of lightning writhed from where Pikachu's holy sword had cleaved her body in half. Her power weakened by the energies of the sacred blade shooting through her evil form, Marianne reverted to her original body, no longer able to sustain her Cut Forme. As the wicked Rotom frantically tried to keep the electricity making up her body from destabilizing completely, Pikachu smirked and downed some Lemonade he had borrowed from Leo, revitalizing himself and healing some of his wounds. "Sorry," he said as Marianne regained control over herself. "It'll take more than a lawnmower from the Abyss to do me in."

Marianne gave an electronic growl and started vibrating. To Pikachu's surprise, the immense Rotom abruptly divided into two smaller Rotoms, and those two divided into two even smaller ones, and each of those four divided into two smaller still Rotoms, and so on until Pikachu found himself surrounded by several dozen mini-Rotoms about the size of large flies. At first he thought that Marianne was using Double Team on him, but when one of the Plasma wisps zipped forward and struck his chest, exploding in a burst of static that caused him to flinch in pain and stumble back, he realized that she must have instead split up the energy in her body to make many Rotoms out of one. However, the caveat to this would be that each of the smaller Rotoms would be much weaker than the original, and should be easily defeated. The fact that there were so many of them, however, posed a bit of a problem…

Several of the Rotoms emitted a modulating buzz that sounded like a giggle, lit up, and all darted towards him at once. Pikachu charged up his tail and swung his sword out in a wide circle, his twin blades cutting through the mini-ghosts and causing them to burst in small flashes of light and static…but unfortunately, a few managed to zip through his defenses and struck his back and thighs, causing him to wince and stagger again, allowing more mini-Rotoms to charge him. He swung his sword to fire a Vaccum-Cut at several of the ghosts, dissipating them while he brought up his Iron Tail to protect his behind. He lashed his sword out to either side of him in quick motions to repel the ghosts approaching from the left and right…and missed the three that struck him in the head, causing him to gasp in pain.

More of the ghouls giggled and charged towards him, while the ones sticking to the outskirts of the arena lit up and fired Shadow Balls, Confuse Rays, Charge Beams, and Thunderbolts at him. Thinking quickly, Pikachu charged up his sword and thrust it into the ground, then launched himself into the air using his tail as a springboard before the attacks could hit. The mini-Rotoms vaporized on contact with his blade, and the Shadow Balls and Confuse Rays merely exploded harmlessly against it, but the sacred blade absorbed the Charge Beams and Thunderbolts, causing its metal length to glow brighter than usual and for the electric arcs dancing across the sword's surface to grow more agitated as holy and unholy energies warred within it. As more of the mini-Rotoms shot into the air towards Pikachu, the mouse spun in a ball, using his Iron Tail to shield any part of his body open to the ghosts for more than a split second, then fired a Thunderbolt of his own down at Thunder Fang. The sword drank in his power and released it along with the energy it had absorbed from the previous attacks in a powerful electrical shockwave which rippled across the field, the conflicting charges lashing out chaotically as they washed over the mini-Rotoms, causing them to shriek in agony as they were torn apart by the wild lightning. Several of the ghosts were destroyed outright, while the rest quickly coalesced back into the original Marianne, now significantly smaller due to the energy she had used up splitting herself and lost to the sword.

As she struggled to get the electricity making up her body back under control, Pikachu landed, removed his sword from the ground, and dashed towards her. The Rotom quickly zipped to the other side of the arena in a flash of lightning and fired a powerful Shadow Ball at Pikachu, no longer trusting the effectiveness of her Electric moves on him due to the power of his sword and still too weak from his earlier direct attack to change Formes again. Pikachu batted the energy ball back at her with a swing of his sword, but she zapped across the field again out of the way of the sphere and fired a Signal Beam this time, which she doubted could be so easily repelled.

She was partially right. Pikachu quickly held up his sword so that he could catch the Beam on the flat of his blade, but despite the protection of his sword the Beam's sheer power started pushing him back towards the electrical wall of the arena. He dug his Iron Tail into the ground in an attempt to anchor himself, but the Beam kept pushing…until he started bending backwards over his tail, at risk of being knocked onto his back and possibly consumed by the blast…

Which had the unexpected advantage of changing the angle at which his sword caught the Beam, reflecting it into the air and over Marianne's head, striking the wall behind her and exploding with enough force to startle her and cause her to break off the attack out of surprise. Pikachu quickly used that opportunity to fire a Vacuum-Cut at her, striking her before she could escape. She flew backwards from the impact, slightly stunned. She shook her head and prepared to zap away…

Until Pikachu ran up to her and drove his sword right through her chest. There was a pause. Marianne gave Pikachu an incredulous look. And then…

The Rotom threw back her head and _screamed_, her form lighting up and exploding with a HUGE surge of electricity that blasted Pikachu off of her…but also signified that she had been defeated, as her aura crackled and surged and writhed all over the place while her body swelled up and shrank and contorted in pain, having difficulty keeping itself together. With a final electronic wail, she vaporized into particles of light, which shot upwards and reconverged before disappearing in a flash of lightning. The electrical walls dissipated with her departure.

Pikachu kept his sword out for a moment, wary lest she return (for he was not so certain that she was truly dead), but when after a time nothing more happened, he sighed in relief and sheathed his blade. "Well, that was interesting," he said. "What now?"

…

"Waaaaahh! Run for it!" Leo yelled as he and Michael frantically ran from the waves and walls of fire Lily the Misdreavus was hurling at them.

"How is she even doing this?!" Michael yelled. "Misdreavus can't use Fire attacks!"

"They're Fire spells, not attacks," Lily replied as she formed a ring of fireballs over her head that burst outwards and homed in on the young duo. "Fire magic is my specialty!"

Leo spat Bubbles that extinguished a few of the fireballs, but yelped and had to desperately jump about to avoid the others. "I don't suppose that would have anything with the way you died, would it?"

Lily paused, giving him a startled look. "How did you know that?"

"Lucky guess, and some stuff I read about magic and ghosts and ghost magicians. Don't tell me, your mom burned you alive to make you dead like her, right?" Leo speculated.

Michael looked appalled. "She did?!" He frowned. "Huh, and here I would have thought she'd freeze her to death. Fits her M.O…"

"So what if she did?" Lily said defensively, wondering how on Earth Leo could know these things about her.

"What're you doing working for a woman who beats you, tortures you, generally treats you like shit, and actually MURDERED you?!" Leo demanded.

Lily frowned. "Even if she killed me, she's still my mother. And one thing I'm pretty sure that both of us can agree on is that it's important to stay loyal to your family!" She formed a Shadow Ball and hurled it at them.

Michael countered with a Shadow Ball of his own, the two spheres exploding as they collided. "That would be a lot more admirable if the rest of your family weren't evil!"

Lily shrugged as she formed another pair of flaming wheels. "Mother always says it's a pity, but we can't choose our family, no matter how much we'd like to." She tossed the wheels at them one after the other. Michael dug under the first one while Leo sidestepped (more like wildly dove to the side) around it and squirted a Water Gun at the second to put it out.

"That's a good point, but that still doesn't mean you should stick with them, especially if they don't care for you! There's lots of times where good guys from bad families rebel against their evil relatives and join the heroes trying to stop them! Sometimes they even manage to redeem their wicked families! You've said yourself you don't like the things you do, so why not join up with us and try to bring your mom and sister into the light if you care for them so much?"

"It's not that simple," Lily said, opening her mouth and screeching out a rather painful Astonish that caused Leo and Michael to cringe and hold their ears in pain. She summoned a very large fireball that she held over her head. "Given the chance, my mother and sister would rather die for real rather than become good." She threw the giant flaming sphere at them. "And even if I wanted to, I could never leave them."

Michael spewed a Shadow Ball at it, but that only caused the orbs to burst into several dozen smaller but no less dangerous fireballs. Leo spat out some Bubbles to thin the number of flames and allow them to dodge the rest. "Does this have something to do with familial responsibility," Leo said with a frown, examining her again through his shades. "Or those markings on your face?"

She started. "Wh-what?"

"My sunglasses here tell me that those runes on your body, aside from signifying and strengthening you magical abilities, represent at least three seals or binding curse marks," Leo said. "I don't know what exactly they're sealing up or binding you to do, though. Would any of those spells or curses be some kind of compulsion forcing you to obey and stay with a family you'd be better off leaving?"

"…" Lily's eyes flashed with rage, then with energy. "That is _none of your business!"_ she shouted, firing a Psybeam at the turtle who somehow knew far too much.

Leo whipped out a mirror (Why was he carrying a mirror, you ask? Have you forgotten who we're talking about here?) and held it out before him. "Ha! Take some of this! Reflect!" The Psybeam struck his mirror and bounced back, striking the startled Misdreavus and shoving her back with a yell. "Ha! And they asked me what the heck I was thinking when I took this! Looks like I knew what I was doing after all!"

"Uhhh…" Lily wobbled, a dazed look in her eyes. "No, Mother…please, not the chokey, you know how much I hate it…oh, so _that's_ why you put me in there…"

"She's confused," Michael realized. "This is our chance! Leo, throw me at her!"

"Okay," said Leo, lifting Michael over her head…and nearly falling over backwards. "Oof! And you call _me_ heavy?!"

"Just throw me already!" Michael snapped.

"Whoa…hold on…whoa…whoooaaaa!" Leo yelled, stumbling back and forth as he tried to keep from dropping Michael, before tripping and plummeting forward. However, as he did so, he let go of Michael, inadvertently hurling him into the air at the same time he was falling flat on his face.

The Eevee flew through the air and landed on the Misdreavus. Opening his jaws wide, he dug his sharp teeth into her ectoplasmic flesh with a dark-powered Bite attack. Lily shrieked as the pain snapped her out of her Confusion and thrashed about, trying to get the gnawing little vulpine off of her. "Aaaahhh! Gethimoffgethimoffgethimooooooffff!" she shrieked as she wildly spun through the air. This only caused Michael to dig his teeth deeper into her skin, not intending to let go, especially since it would probably mean getting flung into the wall of fire surrounding them.

"Good job, Michael!" Leo cheered. "Go for the jugular! Wait…never mind, I don't think she has any!" Michael grunted something at him through his mouthful of Misdreavus matter. "What's that? You could use some help? Sure thing!" He spat Bubbles at Lily when her back was turned to him, so he could be sure not to hit Michael.

The Bubbles successfully burst against the distracted Misdreavus, doing some damage…unfortunately, the explosion also knocked Michael off of Lily's body, causing him to hit the ground, bounce, and roll about in the dirt a few times before coming to a stop. "Leo, what did you do that for?!" he yelled.

"I thought you were asking for help!" Leo protested.

"No, I was telling you that _I had it under control_!" Michael shouted.

Leo sweatdropped. "Oops. Sorry."

"Why do you keep fighting?! I told you I don't want to hurt you!" Lily said angrily.

"No, just kill us," Michael said sarcastically. "Which is _much_ better."

"I was trying to kill you without hurting you too much! But you keep on _fighting_ me!" Lily said in frustration.

"That would be because we don't want to die," said Leo. "You know, sort of how you don't really want to kill us? Except we seem to be doing a better job of doing that than you are."

"I told you, no matter how much I might want to stop, _I don't have a choice!"_ Lily shouted as a rather volatile mass of darkness with lots of vile-looking runes and arcane sigils swirling around in it formed over her head.

"What's that?" asked the alarmed Michael.

"Oh crap, now she's really upping the ante, that's a Curse attack!" cried Leo. "Which…won't have any effect on you because you're a Normal-type, but will probably kill me in a slow, agonizing fashion. Arceusdammit."

However, before Lily could cast her Curse, she paused, cocking her head to the side. Leo and Michael wondered if she was listening to B again when the Misdreavus abruptly gasped "Mother?!" and vanished in a burst of flame, her spell dissipating. The walls of flame dropped in her absence.

Leo and Michael blinked. "…What just happened?" asked the Eevee.

"I…think we just won," said the baffled Leo. "But how? And more importantly, do we get any EXP since she ran away rather than getting beaten outright?" Michael sweatdropped.

…

"Ash!" Pikachu yelled as he ran over to his brother, seeing that he was applying a Potion of some kind to a wound in his chest. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Ash said, waving it off. "Just a flesh wound." He examined Pikachu up and down. "Looks like you got a little scratched up too."

"Nothing I couldn't handle," Pikachu said dismissively. "You should have seen what happened to the other one."

"You should see yourselves once I'm through with you," Bellum said as she rose off the ground, causing the air around them to go cold once more.

Ash and Pikachu looked at her in astonishment. Pikachu quickly drew his sword and Ash got into a fighting pose. "You can still fight?!" Ash asked incredulously. "After what I just hit you with?!"

Bellum snorted. "Please, I've fought Aura Guardians twice your age with spades more fighting experience. Did you really think a single punch would put me down for long?" She did not tell them that that one punch had actually been a lot stronger and hurt much more than she had expected. Ash was more powerful than perhaps even he knew. "You should have eliminated me while I was momentarily out of commission, because now I intend to finish what I started."

Ash frowned. "Sorry, but I take no pleasure in killing people who can't fight back. It's not the sort of thing good guys do."

Bellum sneered. "Typical Aura Guardian, always putting honor before intelligence. It's because of foolish sentiments like that that your kind is almost extinct…though I suppose I had a hand in that as well. Let's see if I can't wipe one more of you from the face of the Earth!" She drew back her hand, preparing a spell…

When suddenly Lily appeared in a burst of flame, throwing off her concentration. "Mother! Are you all right?" she asked in concern.

Bellum started. "What? Lily? What are you-" She paused as Leo and Michael ran over to the senior members of their team. The Froslass's eyes flashed in rage. With a cry of anger, she struck Lily. "You didn't kill them?! You idiot, how many times have I told you never to let your prey live?!"

Chastened, Lily floated back. "B-But Mother, I felt your pain and wanted to make sure you were all right!"

Bellum hit her again. "You stupid, _stupid_ girl! How many times have I told you compassion is not befitting our kind? I am the most powerful witch in the world! Did you really think a single whelp of an Aura Guardian could defeat me so easily? It looks like you need another reminder of just how strong I am…" Lily whimpered.

"Hey, leave her alone!" Leo yelled angrily.

"She didn't do anything wrong! She was actually doing a pretty good job of fighting us until she left to see if you were all right!" Michael said.

"You're defending her?" asked a confused Pikachu.

"It's complicated. We'll explain later," Leo said.

Bellum gave them an amused look. "You feel sympathy for an enemy, who just moments ago was trying to snuff your lives out? You heroic types always do make me laugh. You needn't feel sorry for my daughter, she's going to get exactly what she deserves…" She gestured, and suddenly a very intricate glowing white pattern formed under the feet of Team Aurabolt. "Just like you're about to get what _you_ deserve!"

"What the-" said the startled Michael.

"Oh man, this is a high-level Ice spell-seal!" Leo cried as his sunglasses scanned the pattern and the many complex glyphs and designs intertwined throughout its circumference. "This thing'll turn the blood of every living thing within it to ice once it activates! Well, except for Ash, since he's a Steel type. He'll just be frozen solid."

"Wonderful," Ash grunted.

"Then let's get out of here before we get turned to ice!" Pikachu said, rushing for the edge of the circle…only to be repelled by an invisible force field. "What?!"

"Can't, these things are designed to be insulated to keep the cold from turning everything for a few miles around to ice," Leo said as he examined more of the seal. "Not that Bellum probably cares about sparing lives, but it's more energy-efficient that way."

"I can see all the lines and the way the energy flows throughout this seal…" Ash said, looking at the spell in Aura-sight. "But…it's all so complicated! My book mentioned it's possible to use Aura to disrupt spells like this, but I haven't gotten that far yet. I have no idea what to do!"

"Energy flow…" Pikachu mused. He raised his sword in the air. "Leo, these lines are supposed to represent some kind of energy flow or magical circuit, right? If I broke one of them with my sword, would that cut power to the spell?"

Leo shook his head. "It could…or it could also cause an energy breach that blows us and everything for miles to smithereens."

"Ah," said Pikachu, lowering his sword.

"Then what do we do?!" asked an anxious Michael as the lines started growing brighter and the air began getting colder. "We're going to freeze to death if we don't do something!"

Bellum cackled. "That's the idea! There is no escape for you now!"

"She's wrong," said Leo. "If we could get a powerful enough source of heat, it would disrupt the elemental power of ice in the spell and cause the whole thing to collapse."

Ash frowned. "Where are we going to get something that hot before we get frozen solid?" Lily fidgeted, hearing B tell her to do something, but made no motion to assist the heroes.

Leo smirked. "Fortunately, I happened to be prepared for just such an emergency! Behold!" He reached into his shell and took out his space heater. "The ThermoNuke 5000, the latest in portable heating technology! This baby can melt even the coldest of ice and keep you nice and toasty even in an arctic blizzard! And you said it was _stupid_ to bring something like this along…"

Pikachu shook his head in amazement. "I don't believe it…"

"Quick, turn it on!" Ash urged.

"Mother, should we do something?" Lily asked her mother.

Bellum scoffed. "Don't be ridiculous, there's no way a flimsy piece of technology like that can break my spell! I've even been able to freeze Magmortars and Camerupts with this magic and even cool down active volcanoes, how can a portable space heater possibly be hotter than that?"

"Because this is no ordinary space heater," Leo said proudly as he set the heater on the ground, turned its temperature gauge up to the max, and gestured for everyone to get behind him. "This is the THERMONUKE 5000!" He turned it on.

The machine's radiator coils hummed to life and emitted a wave of pure, raw heat; twice as strong as the burning Sun during the dry season; at the wall of their prison. The force field rippled and shook, and the spell-seal under their feet started flickering. Ash gasped and wiped away some sweat as his fur abruptly became very damp and heavy from the heat. "Good lord…I've been inside a volcano, but it wasn't even remotely this hot!"

"Incredible…" whispered the astonished Pikachu as his ears and tail sagged under the weight of his sweat.

Michael staggered on his feet, nearly floored by the heat wave. "I had no idea technology could be so powerful…you could burn a forest down with something like this, if it were dry enough!"

"What?! Impossible!" Bellum cried as she saw her magnificent spell's power wane. "No space heater could possibly-" The force field shattered and the spell-seal literally melted away, the blast of hot air from the heater rushing out and washing over her. "GAAAAHHH!"

"Whoa," said a surprised Leo.

"Is she going to melt?" asked Michael.

"I don't know, but it would be cool if she did, wouldn't it?" asked Leo.

Lily gasped. "Mother!" She hurled a Shadow Ball at the space heater. The dark sphere struck the machine and exploded, knocking it over and breaking it irreparably.

"Nooooo, my ThermoNuke!" Leo wailed. "Do you have any idea how much I spent on this thing?!"

"Mother, are you all right?" Lily asked her mother in concern.

The Froslass brusquely shook her off, gasping in pain and clutching her chest. "Gah…so…disgustingly _warm…_ugh…" She glared at her daughter. "Lily, use Perish Song! Make them…suffer!"

Lily swallowed. "Perish Song? But I…" Bellum glared at her. "Y-yes, Mother."

"Perish Song?! But won't that hurt her too?" asked the alarmed Michael.

"Somehow I don't think her mother cares," said Pikachu with a grunt.

"Lily, no, don't do it!" Leo begged her.

She did it. She opened her mouth and began to sing. It was a jarring, unpleasant wail that grated the ears and caused the bones to resonate in an unpleasant way. Team Aurabolt screamed and fell to their knees as pain suddenly wracked their bodies and caused their muscles to spasm out of control. Lily seemed to be in excruciating pain as well, each deadly note cutting into herself as well as the Rescue Team, but she didn't stop singing, bringing both herself and her enemies closer and closer to their end.

"Somebody…ah…do something!" Ash yelled.

"I…unh…can't!" Pikachu cried, struggling to rise up and get his body under control again. "It hurts so much…and I can't even think straight…with that song in my ears!"

"Song in my…that's…it!" Leo cried. He struggled to pull an arm into his shell. "Must…get item…that can save us…" he gasped, managing through sheer force of will to retract a limb into his shell. Wincing and gasping in pain, he quickly rooted about, his random spasms and shudders making it difficult to search his interior without knocking things out of place…but eventually, he found what he was looking for. "Aha!" he shouted, withdrawing his arm, now holding a small white rectangular object with a very thin cord attached to a pair of earbuds coming out from the side of it; his treasured Pokepod music player, (last seen being used to provide proper background music for an epic battle against regenerating skeletons) which had several thousand songs downloaded onto it from online, only a fraction of which had been obtained legally. "Now…just…need…to get it…in my…ears…while…talking like…this…," he groaned, keeping his fingers clamped as tightly onto the device as he could so that his spasms wouldn't make him drop it. With trembling fingers, he managed to grab the earbuds and insert them into the tiny, almost invisible earholes on the sides of his head. "Almost…there…" Gritting his teeth, he selected one of his favorite tunes on the machine's display screen and hit the 'play' button with his thumb.

He sagged in instantaneous relief as Lily's cursed song was drowned out by the sweet tunes of one of his favorite rock bands, causing the pain to stop. "Ahhhh…rock and roll, you've saved the day again! Now to save the others!" He rose to his feet and ran towards Lily, retracting into his shell and using his momentum to launch forward in a Rapid Spin. Since the attack was Normal-type, it passed right through the Misdreavus. Her hat, on the other hand…

Lily gasped and stopped her singing as she realized her hat had been knocked off her head. "My hat!" she cried. "Give it back!"

"Make me!" Leo cried, waving the ghost's hat about tauntingly.

She did. She extended her hair-tendrils, snatched the hat from the Squirtle's grasp, and put it back on her head. "I'll ask you to please not do that again in the fut-" she started until Ash hit her in the back of the head with an Aura-infused elbow, using Foresight to make sure the blow affected her. She gasped and fell forward, knocked out by the hit.

Michael grimaced. "That's gonna leave a mark…can Ghosts bruise?" Pikachu shrugged.

Bellum snarled in irritation. "Ugh! That worthless, pathetic little…she turned her back on an enemy, broke off a lethal attack, and allowed herself to get distracted by the loss of a _hat_! I have _no_ idea why I keep hoping for better from her, seeing how often she _fails_ to live up to my expectations!"

"Couldn't you have warned her to look out for Ash before he knocked her out?" Leo asked the Froslass.

Bellum snorted. "If she was stupid enough to make such a thoughtless mistake, she certainly didn't deserve my help."

"…Lady, you're a real piece of work," Leo said incredulously. "I have no idea why your daughter stays so faithful to you, seeing as how you beat her up just for trying to _help_ you. She's way too good for you."

"You know nothing of how our family works, so your comments are as useless and unwanted as Lily herself," Bellum said coldly. She started charging an attack. "Allow me to show you what fate heroes always suffer when they challenge me."

"I wouldn't recommend it," Pikachu said, drawing his sword. "We have you outnumbered, and you're wounded from Ash beating the crap out of you and Leo blasting you with his heater. You can't win."

Bellum threw back her head and laughed. "You honestly believe that, don't you? Imbecile. Even in this weakened condition, I'm more than capable of wiping the floor -"

_Bellum, withdraw immediately. I've seen what I needed to,_ said a telepathic voice in the Froslass's head.

Bellum started. _Lord Shadow? Have you been watching this whole time? I did not know you could enter my mind._

_There are many things you do not know about me, Bellum. Withdraw. You have done enough fighting for today,_ said Oblivion's Shadow.

_But I can beat them!_ She protested in disbelief. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. She had never, in all her centuries, ever fled from a battle that she knew she could have won! What was her 'master' thinking, issuing an order as audacious as that? _I can kill them and-_

_Even accounting for the fact that you are overestimating yourself and _under_estimating them, it is _possible_ that you might win. However, your victory at this moment would not further my goals. Let them go, _the Shadow said.

_But…the Star! And the map-_ Bellum protested.

_Bellum. Withdraw. NOW,_ the Shadow said in a tone that brokered no arguments.

…_Fine. But I want an explanation later! _She snarled.

"What is she doing?" asked the confused Pikachu as the team watched Bellum just…float there, a blank look on her face.

"Maybe she has an imaginary friend too?" Michael suggested.

Leo scowled. "And she beat Lily up for that? Hypocrite."

"Ash, don't touch her," Pikachu warned Ash, who had been about to poke the Froslass. "She could wake up and kill us at any minute."

"I wasn't going to touch her," Ash said defensively as he backed away from Bellum. It was a good thing he did, too, because she returned to them at that moment.

"You have earned a…_reprieve_ from your execution," she growled, a twisted expression of rage on her face. "Do not think it will last, though. I will entomb you all in ice soon enough. Marianne!"

The Rotom appeared in a burst of lightning. "Bzzbz?" she asked in alarm, noticing her mother's condition…and not really caring about Lily.

"So, you're still alive…I'm not surprised," Pikachu growled at the Plasma Pokemon, who glared back at him and started crackling.

"Marianne, we're leaving," Bellum said curtly. "Give us a proper exit, if you please."

Buzzing eagerly, Marianne contracted her energy mass into herself and abruptly released a blinding Flash that caused the heroes to flinch and cover their eyes (except for Leo, who was wearing sunglasses). When the light faded, the ghosts were gone.

"Where'd they go?" Michael asked.

Ash scanned the area with Aura-sight. "They're gone," he said.

"They teleported away during the Flash," Leo reported. "Why they didn't just do that without showing off, I have no idea."

"Somehow, I doubt we've seen the last of them," Pikachu said, sheathing his sword.

"Why did they just leave like that?" wondered the perplexed Michael.

"Because we were just so awesome she knew she couldn't beat us!" Leo boasted.

Ash frowned thoughtfully. "I don't think so…what do you think she meant when she said we'd earned a reprieve?"

"And what really happened to my sister? That ghost implied she knew…we should have pressed Lily for more information when we had the chance!" Michael growled.

"Lily?" asked Pikachu.

"That was the Misdreavus's name," said Leo. "And the Froslass was called Bellum. She told us so."

"Just like that?" asked the surprised Ash. "Wasn't she trying to kill you?"

"It's a long story," said Leo.

Michael nodded. "We'll explain it on the way to the sap-vein. We're almost there! I don't know what the point of that fight was, but now that it's over we have to keep going and save the Tree before the Nihilators and the Doctor damage it beyond repair!"

Ash nodded. "Right! Let's go."

"One moment," said Pikachu, turning to Leo. "Leo, I want to formally apologize to you."

Leo blinked in surprise. "Huh? What do you mean?"

"This is the third time today you've managed to save us, and twice you've demonstrated that the things you brought with you might not be so useless after all," said Pikachu.

"Three times, actually," Michael corrected Pikachu. "While we were fighting Lily, he reflected a Psybeam back at her with a mirror, allowing me to attack her! Of course, then he knocked me off…"

"I said I was sorry…" Leo grumbled.

"Regardless, the fact of the matter is…I was wrong," Pikachu confessed. "I underestimated you and devalued what you could bring to the team. But you were able to show quick thinking and ingenuity a number of times to save us from what could very well have been certain death. While I still don't think you're physically ready to be a full-fledged member of Team Aurabolt—your training still has a long way to go—you have the heart and spirit of a true hero, and when your fighting skills catch up to that brain of yours, you're going to be a force to be reckoned with. And I'll be glad to have that force fighting by my side." He paused. "Oh, and I take back any derogatory comments I might have made or thought about your sunglasses. They're a lot cooler and more useful than I thought they would be."

Leo was touched. He started misting up. "You…you really mean that? Oh man…I wasn't expecting this kind of acceptance from the hard-edged skeptical team member for another several dungeons! Dude, this is…you have no idea how happy this makes me!" Bawling tears of joy, he Teddiursahugged Pikachu, who sweatdropped.

"…If only you'd do fewer things like that, guys like me wouldn't always be questioning your skills and determination…" Pikachu murmured under his breath, not unkindly.

"Hey, I got plenty of skills!" Leo bragged. "…Though they're probably not the ones you're thinking of. Yet. Hey, does that apology go for all my gear too?"

Pikachu smiled and rolled his eyes. "Yes Leo, it goes for your gear too…though I'm still wondering what use we'll find for your shell wax or hair curlers."

"I'm sure we'll think of something," Leo said, letting go of the samurai. "Maybe we could use the wax as a kind of grease to quiet a squeaky hinge on an important door in a heavily-guarded fortress! Or maybe we'll run into a shaggy monster whose fur is all tangled and messy and we can befriend it and bring it over to our side by helping to groom it with my curlers! Or maybe-"

"That's enough speculation for now," Pikachu said quickly, not wanting to let Leo get too bogged down by fantasies. "We should heal up and get going before those witches come back or another group of Nihilators runs into us. They're probably still out looking for Michael and whoever took out that first search team sent to get him, namely, us."

"Then let's get moving before they find us," said Ash. "Michael, lead the way! Uh, after we tend to our wounds."

And that's what they did. They finished applying Potions and other curatives to their injuries and set off towards the Tree. And once they got there, the next phase of their adventure would begin…

…

Meanwhile, in Kanjohenn…

The Southern Islands, a group of tiny islands several hundred miles to the southwest of Pokemon Square and the western coast of the continent proper, due north of the Stormy Seas and northeast of the larger land mass where Joyous Tower, Wish Cave, and Purity Forest were located, were a beautiful tropical paradise that most Pokemon who didn't prefer chillier climes would have regarded as a good place to live. However, only two Pokemon lived in this exotic place, and they were fine with that. It wasn't that they were xenophobic or didn't want neighbors, they just preferred their solitude, and were happy to live in a place of their own by themselves. And with the speeds at which they could fly, it was generally pretty easy to get to any of the places where those Pokemon they called friends lived. Admittedly, they didn't have many friends, but those whom they _were_ friends with they were very close to. However, none of those friends were present at the moment, allowing the islands' two inhabitants to spend their time together to the fullest. Doing what, you might ask?

"Okay, big brother, you know the rules," Latias, a bird-like dragon Pokemon with a red lower body that had jet-plane wings and stubby feet, a blue triangle-shaped ring on her chest, white and red arms, a white upper body, and a red face with triangular ears and a white pentagon shape on her forehead sternly told her sibling.

Latios, who looked pretty much the same as Latias only bigger, colored blue and gray rather than red and white, with flatter ears and narrower eyes, a red triangular ring on his chest, and a gray tear-drop shaped spot instead of a pentagon rolled his eyes. "I know, I know. No sight-sharing, no empathics, no psychic powers whatsoever except for what I use to fly. I can't use anything but my own two eyes and my bare hands."

"And?" Latias pressed him.

He sighed. "And if I can't find you within the next hour, you can have the last star fruit."

"Awesome!" Latias chirped, doing a loop in the air. "Okay, now just-"

"I know, I know," Latios said, turning his back to her and leaning his face against the nearest palm tree. "You have till the count of one hundred to hide, and then I can come and find you."

Latias nodded. "That's right! And no peeking!"

"So long as _you_ remember your own set of rules," Latios reminded his sister. "You can't hide in the air or past the coral reef. And once you've found a hiding spot and I start searching, you can't move to somewhere else. If you do, then _I_ get to eat the last fruit instead. Got it?"

She nodded. "Got it! Now, just start counting, and I'll go hide."

Latios nodded and closed his eyes. "One…two…three…four…"

Smiling to herself, Latias turned invisible by using her glassy down to refract the light around her and silently glided off while her brother started counting down. Rather than immediately rushing off to find somewhere to hide, Latias instead flew over to the tree where the star fruits, the most delectable thing to eat on their tropical paradise, were growing. Unfortunately, they were so tasty that whenever the tree grew new ones Latias and Latios almost immediately devoured the entire crop, competing to see who could eat the most before there were no more left. Quite frequently they found themselves with just one fruit remaining and, rather than choosing to split it between them, they usually played little games to determine who got to eat it instead. Whenever it was Latias' turn to pick, she invariably chose Hide and Seek, both because she was good at it, and because she was able to use the moment free of her loving (but somewhat overprotective, though with good reason) brother's prying eyes to snatch the last fruit and eat it for herself before Latios finished counting. She would then go hide, and when, eventually, he caught her and found that the last fruit was gone, he'd always be just as astonished that she'd gone behind his back and eaten the last fruit anyway as he had been the first time, even though she'd done it several times before. And when he got angry at her for it, she'd demurely remind him that he had never explicitly told her _not_ to steal the fruit when he wasn't looking, which was _also_ something he repeatedly forgot to do, even though she'd done it _every single time_ they'd played Hide and Seek in the past. He was always very flustered and embarrassed for days afterwards whenever she reminded him of that.

Latias knew she should probably feel bad about manipulating her brother so easily, but reasoned that this was what little sisters were _supposed_ to do. Besides, star fruits were just sooooo yummy that she couldn't help it. And some more would grow back in a few weeks anyway, so it wasn't like she was really depriving her brother of anything, especially since he had managed to devour over a hundred in one sitting just yesterday, the Grumpig, and keeping him from eating one more wouldn't hurt him. Much.

She was about to pick the delicious star-shaped fruit off the tree when she stopped, her psychic senses tingling. Something was coming. Moments later, there was a flash of light, and two Pokemon materialized on the beach of their island home.

Latias gasped, her eyes widening, and she started to contact her brother to warn him that there were intruders…until her empathy told her that the visitors bore no ill will, and realized that she knew one of them. "Father Yamiri!" she squealed, returning to visibility and glomping the much smaller priestly Sableye.

The Father laughed and wrapped his arms around the dragon girl's lengthy neck. "Ah, Latias my girl, it's good to see you again! How are you doing? Are you enjoying your new home? Do you have everything you need here? Do you have enough to eat and to fill your time?"

She giggled and nuzzled him affectionately. "Yes, yes, this place is perfect! Thank you again so much for helping us find this place!"

The ghost smiled. "Well, I was glad to help, my dear. You know it is my calling to help those in need, much like our friends Ash and Pikachu, yes?"

Latias smiled again, but more wistfully. It had been a while since she had last seen her friends in Rescue Team Aurabolt, and she couldn't help missing them a bit. She owed them her life, after all…plus, she thought Ash was a little cute, even though she was pretty sure he was interested in that Misty girl, despite their both vehemently denying it "How are they, by the way? What are they up to? Have they taken on any big missions lately? Could they…ah…use any help?"

Yamiri paused, a serious look forming on his face. "Actually, that's partly why we've come to see you today…" He gestured toward his companion, who bowed in greeting. "Latias, I would like you to meet Sabrina. She's-"

"That weird prophet who lives at the Hill of the Ancients, right?" Latias guessed, recalling what she had heard of the enigmatic Xatu from her visits to Pokemon Square. She winced as she realized what she had just said. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to call you weird…"

"It is all right," said Sabrina, not minding. "Could you fetch your brother, please? We have a matter of great consequence to discuss with the two of you."

Latias nodded, sensing the importance of their mission from the grave looks on their faces…and from what she could feel from their minds. Not that she was reading them or anything, but being Psychic she couldn't help picking up things like a person's feelings or intent just by being near them. "I'll go get him. He's still counting to a hundred so shouldn't have noticed you're here yet. What's this about?"

"Simply put…" Yamiri spread his hands imploringly. "Latias, how would you and your brother like to help us save the world?"

…

Meanwhile, in Almiore…

"So, this is Volcano Cave, huh?" Gary said, gazing up at a large tunnel entrance burrowed a third of the way up the side of a tall cindercone volcano from the rocky black shore at its base. Waves roughly slammed against the rocks behind them, rocking the ship that had brought them there, anchored in deeper water a few meters off the beach.

"More specifically, that's Mt. Boyleland," Maren called over the roar of the tide as she fluttered about the boat, making sure that everything onboard was shipshape now that they had reached their destination and that the vessel would be able to take them away once they had completed their mission. "Which Volcano Cave happens to be inside of."

"Well, naturally, it wouldn't be _Volcano_ Cave if it weren't inside a volcano, right?" said Mary reasonably.

Evan sighed. "It'sss going to erupt while we're inssside it, isssn't it?"

"Don't worry, Mt. Boyeland's been extinct for hundreds of years," Maren assured the snake. "It won't be erupting anytime soon, or ever again for that matter."

"I bet it'sss going to erupt anyway, posssibly jussst asss we reach the end of the Cave and grab the Compasss Piece, forcing usss to race for the exit asss fassst asss we can to escape the russshing lava right behind usss," Evan grumbled.

"If he didn't have a good point there, I'd probably just write that off as paranoia," Gary said uneasily.

Mary sighed. "We're _sure_ the Compass Piece is in there?"

Gary pulled out the Compass Base and examined it. The needle was pointing right at the volcano. He nodded. "Yep. And maybe, just maybe, Princess Sara too!"

"I doubt it," Evan grunted.

"Me too," Gary admitted. "But still, we have to look! The Mirage Kingdom is counting on us! And if we manage to complete a mission this big, not only will we be greatly rewarded, but we'll be bumped up to Diamond Rank for sure!"

"Isn't that what you said about our last mission?" asked Mary. "And the one before that? And the one before that? And the one before-"

"Hush, you," Gary grunted. "None of those missions were as high-profile as this one! It'll put us in the annals of Rescue Team history for sure! And it'll be something _good_ people will remember us by, unlike some of our other more unsuccessful and…embarrassing…adventures…" They all shuddered as they remembered some of those humiliating and often painful missions from their past.

"I wouldn't go in there if I were you," an unfamiliar voice said.

Startled, Team Nightshade looked around. "Eh? Who sssaid that?" asked Evan.

"I think he did," Maren said, indicating an Octillery that had crawled out of the water to give them a morose look.

Gary frowned. "Who are you? And why shouldn't we go in there?"

"Name's Gooey," the Octillery said, indicating himself with his eight tentacles. "I live around these parts. And you shouldn't go in there because if you do, you'll probably die. Pretty much everyone else who's ever gone in there hunting for treasure or just to look around never comes out."

"Did soldiers from the Mirage Kingdom come by recently?" Maren asked, trying not to sound as anxious for information about her missing fellows-in-arms as she actually was.

"If you mean a bunch of Egg-like Pokemon like you, yeah," Gooey said. "They never came out either."

"Wonderful," Evan grunted.

"What's so dangerous about this cave?" Mary asked the Octillery.

"All sorts of terrible things," he said gravely. "Pools of bubbling lava. Deadly traps. Lots of Fire and Rock Pokemon with eternally bad tempers. And then there's the guardian of the secret treasure that's supposed to be enshrined there…nobody knows what kind of Pokemon it is, or if it even _is_ a Pokemon, but it's supposed to be huge. And angry…"

"Sssoundsss tough," Evan hissed anxiously. "Much too tough for usss. Let'sss go home and try an easssier misssion, or help defend the town, or sssomething like that."

"No!" Gary refused. "We've come all this way to rescue Sara and win glory! I'm not going to be turned away now by a 'scary' fiery cavern! We've braved volcanoes before and made it out in one piece! Well, okay, maybe with a few burns, but still!"

"Gary has a point," Mary admitted, secretly thrilled by the affirmative stance he was taking. "We can probably handle it."

Evan sighed. "Okay, maybe you're right. However…" He glanced around, and then gestured with his tail for them to come closer to him. They huddled around the snake, wondering what he had to say. "None of usss are particularly ssstrong againssst Fire Pokemon," he hissed. "Not weak, but not ssstrong either, though Mary ssshould be good againssst any Rock-typesss we meet. We'd probably be a lot sssafer if we took a Water Pokemon with usss…if you know what I mean…"

Gary cackled evilly, a mischievous gleam in his eye. "Oho, I see where you're going with this! Yeah, we can make this work…"

They stood up and Gary turned towards Gooey, who was staring at them blankly. "Ahem. Thank you, good citizen, for your timely information! For your assistance and advice, we'd like to make you an offer. How would you like to join our Rescue Team and help us get through Volcano Cave and find the thing we're looking for? We could use someone with your talents, and we promise to split the reward with you…"

Gooey's eyes widened with horror. "What, me? Go up _there?_ Uh, thanks but no thanks, I have some really, er, important things to attend to…"

"Oh, don't be ssscared," Evan said as he slithered behind the Octillery, looming over him ominously. "We promissse nothing bad will happen to you. We'll keep you sssafe…" Gooey squealed in alarm as the snake wrapped his coils around him. "And sssound."

"And you'll even get your own official Rescue Team badge, to show that you're one of us!" Gary said, taking a spare badge out of his Rescue Kit and pinning it to Gooey's forehead. The Octillery cried out in pain as the sharp metal pin pierced his soft, easily breakable skin. "Uh, whoops…don't worry, that'll heal real soon…wow, that's a lot of blood." He coughed, cleared his throat, and dramatically pointed towards the cave. "Uh, anyway…onward, to adventure!"

"Gary, isn't this kidnapping?" Mary asked the Gengar.

He thought about that for a moment. "Yeah. What's your point?" She shrugged, not having a good answer for that.

Maren frowned as Team Nightshade, along with their desperately complaining prisoner, headed up the slope towards Volcano Cave. "They're not exactly the heroes we were hoping for…" she muttered to herself. "But they're all we're have…I should probably follow them and make sure they don't get into too much trouble." She waited until they had entered the cave, then secured and locked down the boat and flew after them.

…

Nice fight scene, huh? And what do you think of the new characters we've been introduced to? Looks like some interesting stuff is happening, huh?

And next time…the Tree of Beginning!


	17. Riding the veins

I apologize if this chapter is too short, but school, as always, is a real time-waster. This semester's keeping me pretty busy. Let's hope it won't be _too_ busy…

…

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters that don't belong to me.

…

"We're here!" Michael declared.

The others, crouched down to examine the rather small hole in the side of a mound of rock and crystal Michael had guided them to, exchanged skeptical looks. "You sure this is the entrance, Michael?" Ash asked.

"Not to question your memory, but this entrance is a little…well, small," Pikachu said. "I mean, you or I could fit easily, but Ash and Leo…"

Leo blushed, recalling what had happened the last time he had tried to squeeze into a hole in the ground. "Yeah, that sort of goes without saying."

Michael frowned as he reexamined the hole. "Hmm…I guess it is a little cramped…" He shrugged. "No worries, let me just widen it a little." He walked over to the hole and worried at it a bit with his paws and head until its edges crumbled away a bit and opened a wider entryway for the other three. "There. How's that?"

Ash frowned. "I dunno. It still looks kind of small…"

"Let me try," Leo volunteered, walking over to the hole. He got down on all fours and crawled in. His shell caught on the lip of the tunnel, but after wiggling a bit he managed to squeeze through and vanish inside. "I'm in!" he yelled back redundantly.

"That still doesn't mean _I _can fit," Ash mrumured, but he got down on all fours too and tried to crawl into the hole. It was a very tight fit, but if he held his breath and pulled his limbs close to his sides, he was just able to make it inside. It was a good thing he wasn't claustrophobic, otherwise he might have found the experience unbearable.

"Both of you should back out," Michael warned his friends. "It would be best if I take the lead. Otherwise we could all get split up and wind up who knows where."

"So how far do we have to go to reach the sap flow?" Leo asked after he and Ash managed, with a little effort, to extract themselves from the tunnel.

"Not far," Michael assured them. "It's just a little ways in and down."

"Good," Ash said in relief. "I don't think I could handle it if it went for too long."

"Yeah, you might suffocate and get stuck partway, clogging the passage and keeping anyone else from passing through," said Leo.

They all stared at him. "…Thank you for that extremely morbid thought, Leo," Pikachu said flatly.

Ash sweatdropped. "Okay, now I'm actually starting to get a little anxious here. Michael, I don't suppose there's another vein nearby? One which we might not have any, ah, problems getting into?"

Michael shook his head. "The nearest one is a few hours from here. And possibly guarded. We could check, but…"

Ash sighed. "No, you're right, we've wasted too much time already. Okay, let's give this one a try."

"You should probably come in last, just in case, so that if you should happen to get stuck and/or die we won't have to drag your corpse out to keep the team from getting separated," Leo said. They all stared at him. "What? You were all thinking it!"

"Well, we are _now_…" Pikachu muttered under his breath.

With some trepidation, they got down and crawled into the passage. Michael and Pikachu fit with no problem, Leo was able to squeeze through, and Ash made it as well, though with some difficulty and discomfort. Fortunately, Michael's words proved true, for after crawling through the dark for a couple of minutes a faint luminescence became visible up ahead. "I see a light at the end of the tunnel," said Pikachu, squinting his eyes to see a green glow shining past Michael's body before him.

"Is it a train?" asked Leo. "Or a portal to the spirit world?"

"What?" asked the confused Pikachu.

"Sorry, bad joke," Leo apologized.

There was a green light, however. After crawling a little further, the tunnel widened, much to their relief, and the glow grew brighter until they could see each other, and finally the passage terminated in what looked like a large luminous green slab covered in concentric rings. There was no way around it. "Looks like a dead end," Leo commented.

Ash groaned. "Does this mean we need to back out and find another one?" Although the tunnel had become a little larger, he was still forced to crouch on all fous and keep his head down lest he bang it on the low ceiling.

Michael laughed. "What, this? Oh no, this is the entrance to the vein!"

"Oh," said Leo. "Then is there some secret switch or password we need to press to move it out of our way?"

Michael snorted. "Of course not! Just watch what I do!" He walked over to the green slab and, much to their astonishment, passed right through it, causing its glittering surface to ripple as he disappeared right before the astonished Rescue Team's eyes.

"Whoa," said Ash.

"What the-" gasped Pikachu.

"Dude, it must be an illusion! Or a portal!" Leo realized.

The slab rippled, and Michael poked his head back out. "Actually, it's a semipermeable membrane used to keep bacteria and other microscopic organisms from entering the Tree's fragile innards. It's designed to keep small things out—it eliminates any dirt or viruses or whatever on your fur as you pass through it—but allows big things like us to pass through without a problem."

"Oh," said Ash, not entirely sure he got a thing Michael had just said.

"Ah, so it's like a decontamination screen in a space station!" Leo said, understanding at once. "Bet it works pretty good as a shower, too, if you don't have any water around…"

"Pretty much, yeah," Michael said, impressed with how easily Leo had grasped the concept. "So, you guys gonna come through or what? It's completely safe."

"I don't know," said Pikachu. "If it destroys dirt and bacteria…well, considering how rarely Ash cleans himself…"

Ash's face turned red. "Hey! What's that supposed to mean?!"

"Oh, nothing, just that we don't want you to get vaporized or whatever because the membrane thinks you're a big germ or something," Leo snickered.

"I smell worse when my fur is wet than I do when I don't bathe for a while…" Ash muttered defensively, face turning redder.

"That's a matter of opinion," Pikachu said flatly. "Considering how fine a nose you're supposed to have, I'm amazed your body odor doesn't bother you more…"

"It shouldn't be a problem once he passes through here," Michael said. "Unless he steps in something while we're inside the Tree, that is."

"Will you guys stop it?!" Ash said in exasperation. "We have more important things to do than talk about how I smell!"

"That's a matter of opinion," Pikachu repeated, but said no more of it, and followed Michael through the membrane. Ash and Leo quickly followed suit.

When they reached the other side, it was like they were in a whole new world. They were standing on a very narrow ledge halfway up the side of a much larger tunnel that looked more organic than mineral, mostly made of a strange hard black material with crisscrossing glowing green lines that reminded Leo of what a blood vein was supposed to look like from the inside, covered in walls made of cell tissue or something like that. Brightly glowing green globules of…something flew past them at high speeds in separate lanes, some going to the left, and others going to the right. The tunnel was kinked and twisty, so they couldn't see far past the area they were currently in, but it looked as if the passage went in either direction for miles and miles.

"Welcome to the sap vein!" Michael said cheerfully.

"Duuuuuuude," said an awestruck Leo.

"Incredible!" said Pikachu. "It almost looks alive!"

"It _is_ alive," Ash corrected his brother, looking at the tunnel and the globules through Aura-sight. "Its Aura is strange, unlike anything I've ever seen before, but it's most definitely alive!"

"You can see Aura?" asked the surprised Michael. "Oh, that's right, of course you can… you're a Lucario. And you've done it a few times before now, haven't you? I just forgot. Interesting…"

"Why?" asked Ash.

"Aura Guardians and the Tree of Beginning actually have a bit of a history," Michael said. "According to our legends, there have been a few times in the past where the Tree of Beginning has been in such grave danger that an Aura Guardian had to sacrifice all of his Aura to heal it…losing his life in the process."

"Really? I didn't know that," said an intrigued Ash. "I wonder if that's in my book. I think I saw mention of a tree now and then, but the way it was described made it sound like it was some kind of metaphor for energy or life or something. And it had ten spheres. Which I'm pretty sure most trees don't have. Er, do they?" The others shrugged.

"Losing their lives? Michael, does that mean that Ash might have to die to save the Tree?" asked a worried Pikachu.

"Whoa, that would be bad!" said Leo, realizing the implications.

Michael paused. "…I'm not sure, actually. I don't think the Tree's been wounded _that_ badly…but then again…" He frowned. "My grandmother would know for sure. We can ask her once we find her."

"Okay," said Ash, trying not to worry about what he might have to be called upon to do. "And how do we do that?"

"We just need to ride the vein here up into the main trunk of the tree, and from there make it to where the Doctor is staying, in my family's personal quarters, which he's converted into a diabolical laboratory," said Michael. "That's where they're holding my grandmother, to make interrogation easier. But we're going to have to avoid a lot of guards on the way there…and spiders."

"We may also have to avoid your people, at least until we can figure out a way to destroy the chips in their heads," said Pikachu. "If the Nihilators can control their minds, they might be able to see through their eyes as well, and know we're there if one of the prisoners spots us."

"We'll try and use some of the unknown and unused tunnels and passages, then," Michael said. "I don't think they'll have gotten that far, not yet."

"Speaking of which, how do we know we won't bump into any Nihilators while we're riding this…vein?" Leo asked, glancing a little anxiously at the globules flying past them. "I mean, you said that your people use these things for transportation, right? The Nihilators can too, can't they?"

"They can, but not easily, due to them being foreign invaders," Michael said. "Like any organism, the Tree is not very welcoming to unfamiliar lifeforms inside its body. While they can technically travel freely throughout the Tree's many veins and corridors, they often find their way hindered by all sorts of obstacles…sudden cave-ins. Gas pockets. Abrupt crystalline growths. Antibody attacks. Completely unexpected and unpredictable cataclysms that fail to put a dent in their numbers, but still manages to make their control over their new domain more weakened and precarious than they would like it to be."

"Heh! So the Tree's fighting back!" Leo realized. "Cool."

"Just like any healthy body does when it has an infection," Michael agreed. "But despite its efforts, the Tree is still losing the fight. That's why we need to find a way to get all of the Nihilators out of here and heal the Tree before its sickness gets too strong and it…well, dies!"

"Uh, speaking of unfamiliar Pokemon…will, ah, the Tree cause us any problems due to _our_ being outsiders?" Ash asked.

"I don't think so, not as long as you stick with me," Michael said. "The Tree should recognize you as friends since I'm associating with you and let you pass freely."

Pikachu frowned. "Wait. Aren't the Nihilators doing the same thing? I mean, that must be part of the reason they're keeping your people alive, right? To explore the Tree without fear of being attacked, and to protect them from its defenses?"

"Yes, but the Nihilators are trying to destroy the Tree, whereas you're here to help," Michael pointed out. "The Tree's not sentient, but it's still a lot smarter than most people give it credit for. I'm sure it'll be able to tell the difference."

"Makes sense," said Ash, accepting that.

"Yes, but, my point is, can't the Nihilators also travel through these veins while using a guide like yourself?" Pikachu asked.

Michael nodded in agreement. "They could indeed. That's why we're going to take a route that most people don't know about. It's a bit roundabout and out of the way, but with any luck it should keep us from running into any prying eyes, both of the Pokemon and mechanical spider variety."

"Oh! But those spiders can't get in here, can they?" Leo asked anxiously. "I mean, are they too small to pass through those membranes? You said they keep out little stuff, but not big things, and robot spiders are little, right?"

"You're right, they can't get in here," Michael admitted. "But that doesn't mean they can't be camping outside the exits, waiting for someone to come through so that they can either sound the alarm or…eat them alive." He shuddered.

"I'll try and spot them wherever we come out, as well as looking for any Nihilators, traps, or other obstacles we might encounter," Ash volunteered. "The Tree's Aura is almost blinding my senses—unsurprising, since it's so big, and we're _inside_ of it—but I can still see you guys' Aura pretty clearly against its Aura, so I figure I'll be able to spot any bad guys too, though maybe not as far ahead as we might like."

"Can you spot robot spiders?" Leo asked. "They're not alive. Do they have Auras?"

Ash paused. "Well, inanimate objects have Auras, but they're pretty dim, so…I really don't know."

"Great…" Leo muttered.

"So, how do we use this thing?" Pikachu asked, gesturing at the vein around them.

"We just need to jump on the energy globules and ride them until we reach the exit we're looking for," said Michael. "But we'll have to all jump at the same time, otherwise we might get split up by accident."

"Are you sure those things can support us?" asked Leo.

"Didn't I answer that question already?" asked Michael.

"Yeah, you did," Ash recalled. "Okay. You're the expert on these things, Michael. When do we jump?"

"Okay. Wait a minute…wait a minute…" Michael carefully watched the globules streaming past them, eyes darting back and forth over the green spheres as they flew by, waiting for a somewhat smaller and slower-moving cluster they could easily jump onto to appear. "Wait…wait…NOW!"

They jumped. Michael, with the grace of a skilled athlete who'd been doing this sort of thing all his life, landed right on top of one of the globules, only to wince in pain and almost slip off as it aggravated his not-entirely-healed injuries. "Oof! Still got it."

Ash also landed on top of a globule, but nearly fell off due to the whole thing only being about half his size, forcing him to wildly flail about, tip over, and manage to just barely catch himself by wrapping as much of his body around the sphere as he could and hanging on for dear life. "This place wasn't really built for big Pokemon, was it?"

"Well, now that I think about it, the larger Caretakers _do_ prefer to walk rather than riding these everywhere…I never thought about it before now," Michael admitted.

Pikachu landed on top a globule but didn't slip at all. "Incredible…" he murmured in astonishment as he looked at the other globules flowing around him and the vein walls they were passing at fairly high speeds as they proceeded up the tunnel. "Wait'll my family hears about this…this is definitely going to go on my funerary tapestry! Maybe Dad was right, I probably _should_ have started working on that thing before now…"

Leo slipped and fell off the one he had landed on, but managed to save himself by digging his fingers into the surface. To his surprise, it felt like a balloon full of sand rather than the soap bubble he had been expecting, firm but malleable as he exerted pressure on it by pulling himself back up instead of collapsing under his weight. He tried to stand up, getting the crazy idea to try 'surfing,' nearly fell over again, and wisely decided to just lie on his belly. "Dude…this is so awesome!" Leo cried as he looked at everything shooting by around him. "Does this count as the requisite 'Fantastic Voyage' of our adventure?"

"Our what?" Pikachu called to Leo over his shoulder. His globule was just a few feet ahead of the Squirtle's.

"A Fantastic Voyage. Nearly all quests have one," said Leo.

"Aren't most quests already fantastic voyages?" asked a confused Ash.

Leo rolled his eyes. "Duh, of course not, quests are fantastic voyages, not _Fantastic Voyages!_ Note how the words of the latter are capitalized rather than the former."

Everyone stared at him blankly. "So…uh…what's the difference between a quest and a Fantastic Voyage?" Michael asked finally.

"A quest is an epic adventure around the world, obviously," Leo said. "A Fantastic Voyage, on the other hand, is where a hero or group of heroes have to fulfill a quest objective by entering the body of something or someone, either due to being shrunken or because the creature or person they're going inside of is really, really big. Since we're going inside of a giant silicate organism of rock and crystal, that makes this the latter, rather than the former, type of Fantastic Voyage."

"Ah," said Michael.

"It's probably a good thing that our Voyage takes place in a big rock tree rather than in an actual flesh and blood creature," Leo continued. "Especially considering the usual methods adventurers who travel into the bowels of a giant beast have to use to escape."

Pikachu grimaced. "Would those exits involve literal bowels, perchance?"

"Occasionally," Leo admitted. "But more often they use the mouth. Or the nose. Or tear ducts. It depends on how big their host is and how small they are."

"Well, none of those should be a concern since the Tree doesn't have any of those," Michael said. "Just veins like these. And regular tunnels."

"What if they all should collapse or be blocked off by an earthquake or similar catastrophe?" Leo asked.

"In that case, we'd probably be trapped forever," Michael said. "Unless there's still some passages open to the outside on the upper reaches of the Tree. But then we'd either need to know how to fly or be able to climb down an impossibly steep slope without falling."

Leo nodded. "Yeah, that's what I figured."

Ash and Pikachu sweatdropped. "Could the two of you stop doomsaying? It's rather unnerving," Ash complained.

"Just preparing for the inevitable," Leo said.

"What inevitable?!" Pikachu demanded.

"Something _always_ goes wrong during adventures like this," Leo pointed out. "So we just have to be forewarned and prepared for it so it won't be as bad as it could be, right?"

"He actually has a point," Ash said. "That's happened to us before, hasn't it?"

Pikachu frowned. "Hmm…maybe so, but I can't see as how your listing all the things that could possibly go wrong could help. Especially since it might jinx us."

"Oh," said the startled Leo. "I hadn't thought of that. Good save. I'll keep quiet."

"Good," said Pikachu, hiding a smile.

"Anyway, even if something does go wrong, we can just use an Escape Orb to teleport out of here, I still have a few," Ash said. He fidgeted uncomfortably, nearly slipping off. "Michael, how long do we need to do this for?" he asked, digging his claws deeper into the surface of his globule in fear that he'd fall off as the green object went up, down, sideways, diagonally, and pretty much every other angle imaginable as it swiftly navigated the twisting, crooked vein.

"Until we find an exit that's close enough to where the Doctor's keeping my grandmother so that we can sneak in without running into too many guards," Michael informed them while carefully watching the walls; green membrane exits and side branches diverting the flow of globules to other parts of the Tree periodically flashing past them as they flew up the vein. "I have one in mind that the Nihilators shouldn't have found yet, or at the very least, probably won't pay much attention to."

"How long until we get there?" Pikachu asked, starting to feel a little nauseous from their rapid transit and all the _green_ speeding by around them.

"Maybe…twenty minutes?" Michael estimated.

"Twenty?!" Ash cried in alarm. "I don't think I can hold on that long! Can't we get off somewhere closer?"

"Probably," Michael said. "If you feel like trekking up miles and miles of zigzagging passageways and corridors, fighting hordes of Nihilators and robot spiders every step of the way."

Ash actually considered that for a moment. "Ah, when you mean 'hordes', how many exactly are there?"

"Ash, leave it. Let's not make this harder on ourselves than it needs to be," Pikachu said, trying to clamp down control on his stomach, which started gurgling ominously.

"Yeah, just sit back and enjoy the totally cool ride!" Leo said. "Why don't we play a game to pass the time? Let's see…oh, I know, how about I Spy? I Spy with my little eye something…green!"

"Would it happen to be a globule?" Michael asked.

Leo nodded excitedly. "That's right! Now I Spy with my little eye…something else that's green!"

"Is it another globule?" Ash asked wearily.

"Yes!" Leo paused. "Huh. This is too easy…uh, I Spy with my little eye something that's…yellow! No wait, now it's green."

"Bleargh," Pikachu gargled as he threw up over the side of his ride. "Urf. Now I'm starting to wonder if we should get off sooner…"

Michael looked a little worried. "I don't think you should have done that…"

"Hey, I Spy with my little eye…something red!" Leo said. He blinked. "Hey, wait, what _is_ that?"

The others turned around and saw that a group of large red blobs shaped like Fossil Pokemon were floating towards them from upstream, going against the flow of globules rushing up the vein. "Crap!" Michael shouted. "Those are the Tree's antibodies! Pikachu, your vomit has contaminated the vein, now the Tree thinks that you're an enemy and has dispatched its defenses to eliminate you!"

Ash blinked. "You mean for once _Pikachu's_ the one who messed up? That's a first."

Leo nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I was expecting you or me to be the one to do something stupid, not him."

Pikachu facefaulted. "Oh, for the love of…"

"Michael, I thought you said they'd leave us alone if you were with us!" said the alarmed Ash.

"They would, if someone hadn't thrown up!" Michael yelled back, causing Pikachu to flush in embarrassment.

"I don't suppose we could talk our way out of this?" asked the chagrined samurai.

"I don't think they have enough mind to be reasoned with," Leo said.

"Don't worry, they _should_ calm down once they see I'm with you, sense that your intent isn't as wicked as the Nihilators," Michael said. He paused. "But, uh, just in case, you might want to keep a close eye out for the nearest exit." The others sweatdropped.

…

Somewhere high up the side of the Tree of Beginning, a pair of Nihilators were standing on a grassy terrace jutting out into the void, trees and bushes sprouting up from the ground all around them along with several slightly incongruous glowing blue crystals. "What a view, huh?" said an Aggron with black armor and facemask named Bossgo as they gazed out at the great wooded expanse beneath them and the distant plains and hills stretching out towards the horizon.

"Yeah," his partner, Nita the Nidoqueen, also covered in black armor that made her already formidable and imposing figure look even more fearsome, agreed.

"Just makes you think, doesn't it?" Bossgo said.

"About what?" asked Nita.

Bossgo took a deep breath, staring out at the beautiful view. "About…how worthless and ugly everything in life is. Won't this place look much better once we tear up all these disgusting trees, burn what's left to the ground, and reduce the whole world to a cinder?"

Nita smiled evilly. "It'll be beautiful."

"Yeah," Bossgo agreed, no longer staring at the view. He had always harbored an attraction for Nita, and she had seemed much more appealing ever since she had recently seen the Doctor for one of those 'Hyper Mode' upgrades all the best Nihilators were getting these days. Her aggression, cruelty, and brutality had magnified a hundredfold, causing Bossgo to feel both awed and envious as he watched her ruthlessly murder weak and useless Pokemon and torture them until they begged for death. He decided that he wanted to have sex with her, right there and then, and resolved to ask her to sleep with him. If she consented, they would make hate (since the Nihilators didn't believe in love) right on that very ledge. If she said no, he'd hit her, knock her to the ground, and rape her. Nihilator chicks digged that, unlike those wussy regular Pokemon who always sobbed and begged and screamed and occasionally died whenever he fucked them.

Fortunately, before he could carry through on his perverted plans, a glowing green membrane hidden behind some bushes rippled and suddenly ejected an Eevee, a Squirtle, a Pikachu with a sword, and a Lucario, all of whom frantically ran away from the entry into the Tree's innards as fast as possible. "Leo, why did you have to do that, just when Michael had them calmed down?!" Pikachu snapped.

"How was I supposed to know they'd overreact to a little bubble gum? It's not nearly as bad as throwing up all over the place!" Leo retorted.

"It's not exactly less messy, either!" Pikachu yelled.

"Michael, will they follow us out here?" Ash asked.

"I'm not sure, they might-" Michael paused, suddenly realizing they were not alone. Bossgo and Nita stared at them in disbelief. Team Aurabolt stared right back. "Aw crap."

"Get them!" Bossgo roared unnecessarily, recognizing the group as the slave related to that Protector bitch they had in custody who had escaped earlier that day and the Rescue Team Oblivion's Shadow wanted dead. Any Nihilator who could kill them and retrieve the Star Badge and map they possessed would be greatly rewarded! He and Nita charged towards the heroes. Ash and the others got ready for a fight…

Until the membrane behind them rippled again and suddenly several large red blobs shaped like Cradily, Kabutops, and Omastars emerged and angrily flew towards the Pokemon. The heroes quickly got out of the way, and Nita stopped herself, but Bossgro kept on charging and accidentally ran right into one of the blobs. He screamed and desperately thrashed about as the strange organism lost its shape and turned into a formless crimson mass which wrapped itself around him and completely encompassed the Aggron, silencing his shouts for help. The blob then shrank down on itself and melted into the floor. No trace of Bossgro was left behind.

Team Aurabolt's jaws dropped. "Dear Lord in the Celestial Heavens…" whispered Pikachu, making the sign of Arceus' Holy Wheel.

"There's nothing left of the guy," said a stunned Ash. "Was he destroyed completely the instant that thing sucked up all of him?"

"Yikes…that was just like how people got killed off in that one horror movie I watched, The Glob!" Leo said. "Except that monster was fuchsia. And didn't take the forms of ancient Pokemon."

Nita growled and pressed a stud on her armor, injecting pure Shadow into her bloodstream. She clenched her fists and roared as the mysterious chemical immediately began to alter her physiology, her already impressive muscles bulking up and making her even larger and more fearsome than before, her armor splitting along special seams to change from plates into jointed segments that accommodated her more massive figure. Her blue hide became black and her eyes turned red while a black aura formed around her and several dozen jagged spikes popped out all over her body, making her even more of a poisonous pincushion than she had been before. Overcome with bloodlust, she howled with rage at her enemies.

"She's gone into Hyper Mode!" Ash cried.

"Yeah, we can see that," said Pikachu, rolling his eyes.

Apparently deciding that the berserk Nidoqueen was more of a threat to the Tree than the interlopers who had littered a bit, the red antibodies charged towards Nita. Snarling furiously, she lashed out with claws and tail, splattering the first two blobs to attack her and flailing her limbs about to keep from being enveloped by their formless bodies. Her dark aura flared up each time one of them tried to approach her, causing them to hesitate and give Nita the chance to reduce them to jelly.

"Quick, while they're distracted, let's get inside!" said Pikachu, pointing to a hole in the nearby wall leading back inside the Tree.

"No, wait, if we leave her alone and she survives, she could sound the alarm and we'd have hundreds of Nihilators coming down on our heads! We need to take her out!" Michael argued.

Pikachu frowned and drew his sword. "Good point. Let's stay and fight!"

Ash glanced around at the forested ledge they were standing on dubiously. "This isn't exactly the best place to have a fight. There isn't really much room here…"

Leo rubbed his chin in thought, staring past the savagely battling Nita at the edge of the terrace just a few feet behind her. "Hmm…I think I know how to turn that to our advantage…"

Easily shredding apart the antibodies with her spikes and tail, Nita was about to finish off the last of the defense organisms, an Aerodactyl and a Bastiodon, when she heard a voice from over to her right. "Hey, you, Nidoqueen! Over here!" Nita grunted and glanced over to see Ash was standing at the edge of the terrace, waving his arms frantically. "That armor makes you look fat!" Nita blinked and glanced down, giving her figure an appraising look. Ash scratched his head in confusion. "Huh? That's odd, that comment always gets a homicidal reaction from Misty…"

Pikachu rolled his eyes. "Ash, among the Nidorina line size and strength are seen as signs of great prestige and beauty. By calling her fat, you're giving her a compliment."

Ash blinked. "Oh." There was a pause. His eyes widened in disgust. "_Oh._"

Leo rolled his eyes as he stepped beside Ash. "Amateur. Let me show you how it's done! Ahem: Hey, ugly! Your boyfriend called to say he's breaking up with you, he's found a woman with _real_ horns, not those stubby little nibs you've got growing all over your body. Oh wait, are those zits? My bad, those bumps growing from your skin are so shallow it was hard for me to tell the difference!"

Nita's eyes flashed with rage. Roaring loudly enough to cause their surroundings to shake, she charged towards the obnoxious Squirtle with a Shadow Rush…

Only for him to be yanked away by Ash at the last second. "Yoink!" Leo yelled as Nita shot right past them and ran off the edge of the cliff. "Yatta! Have a nice trip, see you next fall!" he called to the Nidoqueen as she plummeted to her doom.

"But she wasn't tripped," said a confused Ash. "She was just tricked into running off."

Leo rolled his eyes. "My humor is totally wasted on you."

"Guys? I don't think we're through yet," Pikachu said warily. The surviving antibodies were still there.

The two groups stared at each other uncertainly, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Finally, the antibodies conceded, wriggling and melting into the ground. The heroes waited a moment, but nothing else happened. "Guess that's it," Leo said once it became clear that nothing else was going to attack them at that time. "Kinda anticlimactic."

"So are we forgiven for littering or something?" Pikachu asked Michael.

The Eevee nodded. "I think so. It looks as if they've accepted you as being on the side of the Tree of Beginning, since you helped to rid them of a rather dangerous trespasser."

"Cool," said Leo.

"So what's our next step?" Ash asked Michael. "We were heading to the Doctor's lab to rescue your grandmother so that she could tell us where the Star Badge is, right?"

"And find a way to free the other Caretakers," Leo reminded him. "Since we can't just whack 'em and shock 'em all. Hmm, unless…"

"Please don't finish that thought," Pikachu begged Leo.

"My family's quarters, where the Doctor has set up shop, are probably heavily guarded," Michael said. "However, I know of another way in. There's a very small tunnel leading from one of the chambers in our home to a life crystal repository some distance away. It's designed as an escape route, but my sister and I played in it all the time. If we can get to the repository, we can crawl through the tunnel and come out in the lab, right under the Doctor's nose!"

Ash frowned. "Uh, how small a tunnel are we talking about here?"

Michael hesitated. "Ah…I'm _pretty_ sure you can fit, Ash."

Ash sweatdropped. "Wonderful…"

"Michael, I think I see a couple of flaws in your plan…" said an uneasy Pikachu. "First of all, since the Nihilators are trying to collect life crystals along with all the other resources in the Tree, won't this repository have almost if not just as many guards as the Doctor's lab? Additionally, don't you think they would have already discovered and sealed up this tunnel if they've been using your residence as headquarters for this long?"

"Not necessarily," Leo spoke up. "If it's really that small, it's doubtful many Pokemon could use it as an access point. Heck, even we probably might not be able to! Plus, it would be a convenient way for him to dispatch his robot spider minions to attack intruders. Or to fill the nearby caves and tunnels with poisonous gas." He frowned. "Which means he could kill us easily while we're sneaking in…"

Pikachu sweatdropped. "Thank you for that thought, Leo. Really, thanks. I'm so glad we have you here so you can keep coming up with all these horrible ways we could die."

"Gee, thanks!" Leo said cheerfully. Pikachu facefaulted.

Michael sighed. "I know it's not exactly the best plan, but it's the only one I have."

"Then we'll give it a try," Ash said. "And if worse comes to worse, we'll just bust our way in. The majority of the Nihilators we've fought so far haven't been that tough, have they? We can probably take them."

"The ones that went into Hyper Mode in the past were actually very tough and nearly killed us when we fought them," Pikachu reminded him.

"Then we won't let them go into Hyper Mode," Ash said reasonably. Pikachu facepalmed. "Additionally, I doubt they'd be able to use their power to the fullest inside the Tree due to limited space. I mean, if the tunnels are small enough…" He glanced at Michael. "Ah, how big are the passages inside the Tree?"

"They vary," Michael said. "Some are very small and narrow, others are wide enough for several large Pokemon to walk abreast down its length."

"We'll stay clear of those, then," Leo said confidently. Pikachu rolled his eyes.

"I still don't think this is the best idea," said the mouse. "But I can't think of anything better, so I guess we'll go with it. Michael, lead the way."

"All right," Michael said, walking back towards the membrane into the Tree's veins.

"Wait. You mean we have to go back in there!?" Pikachu asked in alarm. "I thought we were done with those!"

Michael shook his head. "No, we had to get out early before to avoid all those antibodies that got pissed off by Leo's bubble gum."

"I said I was sorry…" Leo grumbled.

"We're still some distance away from where we need to go, so we'll need to ride this a little further to get close to the crystal depository," Michael continued.

"Can't we just walk?" Pikachu asked anxiously.

"Sure, but it'll take a few hours," Michael said. "And we'll have to deal with Nihilators, robot spiders, traps, maybe some less forgiving antibodies…"

"All right, I get the point," Pikachu grunted. "We'll ride the damn vein again."

"You really don't like that thing, do you?" Ash asked his brother.

"It gave me motion sickness. It was not a pleasant phenomenon," Pikachu grumbled.

Leo patted Pikachu on the back. "Try not to throw up this time, okay?"

Pikachu's eye twitched. "Try not to blow any bubbles this time, okay?"

Leo smirked. "Heh. Touche."

They crawled back into the membrane, leaving the empty terrace and beautiful view behind them.

…

Meanwhile, somewhere else in the Tree…

"Read zis card, please," Doctor Tarantulas told his patient, pointing to a large placard with letters of varying sizes on it held up some distance away by his spider minions. "Go down ze line from left to right, top to bottom, and say as many letters as you can until you can't make zem out anymore, okay?"

His patient, a young Ledyba, nodded in understanding. "Yes Doctor. I can do that." He focused on the placard. "A…P…V…L…N…F…X…C…B…M…Z…E…R…Y…T…O…Q…S…D…H…K…J…N…I…I'm sorry, I can't see the rest, they're too small. Maybe if you moved the card closer?"

"Zat vill not be necessary," Tarantulas said, dismissing the spiders. "Now let's test your reflexes, shall ve? Tell me vhen you feel something." He raised one of his mechanical legs and tapped one of the bug's feet. "Vell?"

"Yes, I felt that," the Ledyba responded. "But it took me a second to notice it."

"Hmm, fascinating," the Doctor murmured, making a note of it. "Now, let's try anozer leg." He tapped one of the insect's other limbs. "Vell?"

"Nothing," said the Ledyba.

Tarantulas frowned and tapped harder. "Vell?"

"Nothing," the Ledyba replied.

Getting annoyed, the Doctor hit the leg violently. "Vell!?"

"Still nothing," the Ledyba said apologetically.

The Ariados' mechanical eye flashed red. Enraged, he drove his limb downwards, spearing it right through the Ledyba's still quite fleshy one. "VELL?!"

"N-n-nothing!" stammered the terrified ladybug. "I'm sorry Doctor, but I don't feel a thing! Nothing at all!"

"Hmm," the Doctor said, calming down and making a note of this. "I suppose a connection or two must have been severed somevhere. My technique must still need some vork."

"Can you please put me back together now?" the Ledyba asked. The Doctor had ripped off his wings, all six of his legs, and one of his eyes, and kept them attached to his main body by several cables and tubes that somehow still allowed his brain to control and receive input from them.

"Ve'll see," the Doctor said absentmindedly, having no intention of doing so. He paused, his cybernetic body's on-board computer beeping and telling him he was receiving a transmission from a chip he had installed in one of the special Nihilators he had hand-picked to undergo the Hyper Mode upgrade process due to superb physiological and psychological abnormalities which set them far above their peers in cruelty, savagery, and evil potential. "Just a moment." He accessed the message and played it on the HUD he could see through his mechanical eye.

A few moments later, he screamed in rage, causing his bustling spider minions to stand to attention and the Ledyba and all the Doctor's other unfortunate prisoners/experiments to cringe in fear. "CHOBIIIIIIIIIN!"

The Sunflora glanced away from whatever he had been doing on one of the Doctor's many computers. Probably looking up child pornography or something. "Yes, Doctor?...Chobin asked."

"Another one of my precious XDs has been destroyed!" Tarantulas shouted furiously.

Chobin gasped. "Oh no!...Chobin cried in horror. Not another one! That makes the second one today! Which one was it?"

"XD097," the Doctor told his assistant.

Chobin moaned. "Noooo!...Chobin wailed. Not Nita! Chobin liked her! She was _really_ mean. In more ways than one, if you know what Chobin means, and Chobin knows you do…Chobin said while leering suggestively at Doctor Tarantulas."

Tarantulas sighed wistfully. "Yes, she vas a fine specimen…" He snarled and smashed his leg into a nearby table, breaking it in two and spilling documents and diskettes and other assorted clutter to the ground. "And now she's dead!"

"Oh well, Chobin said with a remorseful sigh before brightening and asking, Can Chobin fuck her corpse?" Chobin asked hopefully.

Tarantulas shook his head. "I don't zink zere's enough of her left for you to molest, you disgusting Asteraceae. Observe!" His mechanical eye zoomed outward and projected video footage of Nita's last moments, transmitted to the Doctor by the chip he had planted in her brain only seconds before it, and its host, had been crushed beyond repair. Chobin grabbed some popcorn and munched on it as he watched, through the Nidoqueen's eyes, as Nita and Bossgro talked while looking out at the disgusting forest below. He wondered if they were going to have sex. That would be so kinky!

He spat out some popcorn, though, when Team Aurabolt stumbled out from the hidden vein entrance and caught Nita and Bossgro's attention. "Hey, Chobin exclaimed! Aren't those the same guys that Oblivion's Shadow wants dead or in custody because they have one of the Star Badges and the magical map, and Bellum and her daughters failed to kill them just a little while ago?"

Tarantulas nodded in agreement. "Zat's right, my expository little henchmen. Not to mention zat zey are ze ones who also murdered poor XD130 and XD180." He snarled and dragged a metal leg across the stone floor, making an ungodly metallic screech as it scratched a line in the ground. "Zat's three of my creations zey have defeated…vell, no more! Zey shall suffer for zis!"

They continued watching as Nita engaged the antibodies, then fell to her doom after getting riled up by Leo's obvious taunt. "Hmm, looks like you need to work on making them more intelligent when in Hyper Mode…Chobin suggested," Chobin suggested.

Tarantulas threw up several of his legs in exasperation. "Bah! Zere is only so much I can do vith such uneducated louts as zese Nihilators to vork vith!" He cut off the video feed just before Nita hit the ground. "So, now ve have a bunch of vannabe heroic hooligans running about our new lair. Vhat shall ve do vith zem, Chobin?"

"Kill them and feast on their corpses, Chobin suggested hopefully?" Chobin offered.

"Vell, yes, obviously, but how to go about it?" the Doctor asked out loud. "I should probably initiate a lockdown—to ze limited extent we can get one in such an insecure place like zis—send out all ze soldiers, maybe dispatch a few hundred of mein dear little children to devour zem whole…" The robot spiders listening in on the conversation started chittering and hopping in delight at this prospect. "Buuuut…" The spiders sagged, getting the feeling they weren't going to get a meal anytime soon. A sinister grin formed on the cyborg spider's face. "I zink I have a better idea. Zat escaped slave, Michael, is ze grandson of our esteemed 'guest', ze current Protector of ze Tree of Beginnings, who has so far proved surprisingly _resilient _to our, ah, mezzods of persuasion. She has refused to give up ze location of ze Crystal Star Badge no matter _vhat_ ve do to her, her vill is so strong she resists our best psychic probes and mind control, and she remains silent even vhen ve rape and violently kill her friends right in front of her. I had planned to threaten her grandson before zat little brat escaped, but now…" He tapped the tips of two of his limbs together in thought. "If he's vith zat Rescue Team, zey'll probably try to free her, both to find ze location of ze Star Badge and for _sentimental_ reasons." He chuckled ghoulishly. "I zink ve could use zat to our advantage. If ze old hag von't speak to us, perhaps she vill loosen her lips for her saviors? Hohohohoho!"

Chobin clapped his leafy hands together gleefully. "Brilliant idea, Doctor!...Chobin exclaimed. And once they're dead, can Chobin-"

Tarantulas sighed in exasperation. "Is zat all you ever zink about?!"

"No, Chobin denied," Chobin denied. "Just most of the time. Can Chobin?"

Tarantulas rolled his single organic eye. "Ve'll see." He paused, and then glanced at the dismembered Ledyba still lying on his operating table. "I'll tell you vhat, zhough. Go fetch some tubing…let's see if a certain _ozzer_ part of ze Ledyba anatomy vorks vhen separated from ze body!" Chobin stared at him blankly. The Doctor rolled his eye. "By vhich I mean let's cut off his crotch, reattach it to his body via tubing, and see if he feels anyzing vhen you rape his dismembered, ah, member."

Chobin blinked. "Ohhh…Chobin ohhhed." The Sunflora giggled gleefully. "Hoohoohoohoo!...Chobin giggled gleefully. Chobin will go get the tubes!" He ran off to another part of the lab.

"N-no, please! Don't! DON'T! _I BEG OF YOU!_" the horrified Ledyba wailed desperately, eyes wide in horror at the realization of the incredibly gruesome fate the Doctor in store for him.

"Mmm…no, I don't zink so." Tarantulas laughed and patted the ladybug patronizingly on the head. "Don't be afraid, little one! Ve must all make sacrifices in ze name of science."

"P-please…why…why are you doing this?" the Ledyba whimpered.

Tarantulas grinned and leaned close to the Ledyba's head, whispering softly into his antennae, as if to a lover, "Because life is horrible, little one, and I see no reason zat everyone should not suffer to ze fullest possible in zis miserable existence, just as I have." Chobin ran back over, his leaves laden with semitransparent tubes and a beaming smile splitting his face. The Doctor raised one of his legs, the end of which split apart and transformed into a buzzsaw, which Tarnatulas held ominously over a certain point rather low on the Ledyba's body. "And zat," he said, a wicked gleam in his mechanical eye. "Is vhy ve vill be performing zis procedure vithout anesthesia."

The buzzsaw lowered. Blood spattered. Chobin laughed. The Ledyba _screamed_.

The Doctor grinned.

…

A little later, in another different part of the Tree…

Two Nihilators, a Houndoom and a Blastoise, were walking down one of the crystal-lined tunnels of the Tree of Beginnings on patrol, an enslaved female Armaldo with a chain leash around her neck staggering ahead of them. They had brought her along for protection from the antibodies, since, while the red blobs still attacked their numbers frequently and without warning whether they had a Caretaker with them or not, they tended to do it less when one of the Tree's chosen protectors was in the vicinity of the intruders, especially when said intruders threatened to kill the protectors if the defense organisms didn't back off. They had also brought her along for entertainment, yanking her chain or kicking her harshly or ordering the control chip in her brain to shock her whenever she started to slow down, which was most of the time considering that they had intentionally broken one of her legs to make it difficult for her to walk.

As the beaten, broken amphibious insectoid limped ahead of them, the Nihilators chatted about one of their favorite subjects: who they'd like to do. "I think that Nita is one sexy bitch," the Houndoom commented to his friend. "I'd let her pierce me with those horns of hers anytime, if you know what I mean."

"Aren't those horns poisonous?" the Blastoise asked his friend.

"Yeah…but that just makes it kinkier!" the Houndoom said, causing the turtle to give him a disgusted look. "What? Like your own cravings are any less freaky!"

"So I'd like to eat that really sexy slave Growlithe I've had my eye…and other parts of my body…on. And in," the Blastoise said. "After I satisfy one of my lusts, why not fulfill the other? Then I'll have a little piece of him inside of me forever…what greater expression of love is there?"

"Yeah, forever…until he comes out the other end," the Houndoom snickered.

"I could always eat that again," the Blastoise said fondly. The Armaldo shuddered in disgust, causing her to get kicked in the tail, nearly knocking her over and causing her to cry in pain as she put too much weight on her broken leg. Her captors laughed cruelly.

They were interrupted when the chips in their heads crackled to life and they received a message from their master, Doctor Tarantulas. "All Nihilators, listen up! Zis is Doctor Tarantulas speaking. A group of intruders has managed to infiltrate our base. Zey are ze very same Pokemon Herr Shadow vants dead, since zey possess items vhich ve are seeking and could potentially threaten our plans for global destruction if zey are not recovered. Keep an eye out for zem, but if you should engage zem, do not try too hard to kill zem, I vant zem to make it as far invard as possible so I can spring a trap of my own. And if you should happen to die, don't fret, you'll get your revard on ze ozzer side…and your remains shall be used to feed your colleagues. Zat is all!"

"Hmm, so those guys are here?" the Houndoom said once the Doctor's announcement was over. "I'm surprised they managed to make it inside so quickly."

"I wonder what they're like?" the Blastoise pondered. "I hear one of them's a Squirtle. He should be tasty."

"Isn't that cannibalism?" asked the Houndoom.

"So?" asked the Blastoise. "They still taste pretty good, especially after I make them give me blow jobs with those Bubble-spitting mouths of theirs. Makes me feel tingly all over. And I also hear they've got a Pikachu, I wouldn't mind getting buzzed by-" He was interrupted when someone leaped onto his shell from behind and slashed a set of claws across his throat, slicing open his jugular and cause him to gasp and collapse to the ground, copious amounts of blood spewing from his mouth and the gash in his esophagus. His assailant, a shadowy figure wrapped in black, drove another claw into the back of his skull just to finish the kill, then leaped towards the Houndoom.

The devil dog launched a Flamethrower, but the assassin countered with an Ice Beam, creating an explosion that filled the tunnel with smoke. The Houndoom coughed, trying to activate his standard-issue cochlear implants to see through the smog, but that didn't help him when his attacker materialized right behind him and decapitated him with a single strike from a sword made of ice.

The Armaldo trembled, cowering back as the Houndoom's head landed at her feet and the assassin slowly walked towards her. "P-please, don't hurt-"

SHING!

The Armaldo blinked. The collar around her neck creaked and suddenly fell off, sliced in two by the assailant's claws. She stared at her rescuer in astonishment. The strange black Pokemon stared back at her with emotionless red eyes before turning away and walking past her. "Um…thanks?" the Plate Pokemon called after the killer. The black Pokemon did not respond.

The Armaldo frowned and turned back to the corpses lying before her. "What'm I going to do about these?"

…

Meanwhile, in the Southern Isles…

"I'm not sure I understand," Latios said, somewhat confused. "How exactly do you want us to save the world? By being used in some sort of…summoning ritual that'll cause my sister to get possessed by a powerful guardian spirit that's been around since the beginning of the Omniverse? I'm not exactly sure that's a good idea…"

Latias frowned at her brother, sensing his worry for her over their shared Psychic link. "I see nothing wrong with it. The Guardian of Light is supposed to be one of the strongest forces for good there is, isn't she? What could possibly be bad about her using my body as a vessel for a while?"

"She could completely overwrite your personality and take over your body," Latios said, annoyed at the worry he _didn't _feel from Latias over their link, as if she weren't the least bit bothered by what Yamiri or Sabrina were suggesting. "Or consume your soul. Or burn you out due to the sheer magnitude of her power so that when she finally leaves you'll either be dead or a comatose vegetable."

Latias, Father Yamiri, and Sabrina gave the dragon incredulous looks. "…Latios, you do realize this is a _good_ spirit we are talking about, right?" Yamiri asked after a moment. "They generally don't do those sorts of things to their host bodies. Evil spirits, on the other hand…"

"Yeah, I somehow doubt she'd do all those things to me if she's really as kind and heroic as the legends say she is," Latias pointed out.

"If any harm is to come to Latias while she houses the Guardian, it will not be from the spirit herself," Sabrina assured Latias' brother, which didn't reassure him at all. "Her body is already a perfect genetic match for the Guardian's soul, and her mortal frame will be reinforced both by the summoning spell and by the holy spirit itself to make her the ideal channeler of the divine power of Light."

Latios frowned. "A genetic match…how is that possible?"

"According to Arcean scriptures, the Guardian of Light is capable of projecting her will anywhere in the vast cosmos of the Omniverse so that she can observe all and subtly assist the lesser Guardians and heroes of reality in fighting evil. However, there are times when a more 'hands-on' approach is necessary, and she requires a physical body to inhabit so that she can do her job more directly. To make that task easier, Mew seeded the worlds with genetic traces of the Guardians of Light and Hope and the Dragon-God King so that eventually life-forms similar to their 'ancestors' would evolve that would be compatible with the three spirits and allow them to be used as avatars with which they could incarnate on the physical plane, should it prove necessary to do so. As a result, we have you and Latias, who are genetic descendants of the Guardians of Hope and Light, and Rayquaza, the descendant (and, according to the Dragonians, the current physical incarnation) of the Dragon-God King here with us. And because all of you are genetically tied to those great beings, you are not only capable of using their power and spirit, but of summoning them to this world," Yamiri explained.

"And since we are trying to summon the Guardian of Light, we will need all three of you to call her spirit to our Earth," Sabrina said.

Latios grimaced. "Hmm…I dunno…do we really have to involve _that_ guy in this?"

Latias rolled her eyes in exasperation, annoyed, as always, by the sheer feelings of dislike and distrust that washed off her brother whenever the emerald dragon was brought up. Or thought about. It was kind of irritating. "Latios, Rayquaza and I are friends!"

"I don't like the way he looks at you," Latios said defensively, trying to rationalize his almost instinctive (and unjustified) dislike for Rayquaza. "Like he's got plans for you or something. _Insidious _plans. Which may or may not involve deflowering you."

Latias snorted, both out of irritation at how hard-headed he was being and in amusement that he had actually just said 'deflowering'. "He looks at me perfectly fine. You're just being paranoid."

"And I don't have reason to be?!" Latios retorted. Latias hesitated, and then looked at the ground, knowing he had a point. Latios sighed, mentally sending her an apology, and looked back at their two guests. "Okay, I think I understand why you need us to summon the Guardian of Light, but what I don't get is why you need to summon her at all. Exactly what grave danger is the world in right now? Run that by me again, you mentioned something about a door and some barbarians and Pokemon Square…how exactly are all those connected?"

"Simply put, the great evil which almost destroyed the world and wiped out mankind nearly a thousand years ago has returned," Sabrina explained. "It has launched a two-pronged attack against us. Here in Kanjohenn, it has convinced the various barbarian hordes to cooperate for a change and unite together in an attempt to destroy Pokemon Square. If they should succeed, our world will be doomed."

"Why?" asked the confused Latios.

Sabrina shrugged. "I don't know."

"But you're an oracle! I thought you knew everything," said the puzzled Latias.

"I wish I did," Sabrina grunted. "Then I would be able to remember where I left my keys, I'm always losing them for some reason. I can't see all of the future whenever I want, just the parts which reveal themselves to me, for whatever reason. It's inconvenient, but I don't really have a choice but to go along with it and make the best of the information that I can foresee."

"That must be very difficult for you," Latias said sympathetically.

"You have no idea," Sabrina agreed.

"Meanwhile, in Sinnorre, the evil's own forces are searching for seven keys with which it can unlock a great door…a door that should never be opened, for beyond it lies an even deadlier evil, one that will destroy the world, if not all worlds, should it be released," Yamiri said.

Latios scratched his head. "So…this guy is trying to destroy the world twice?"

"He's covering his bases," Sabrina explained. "Alone, either of his efforts, if successful, could spell the death of our planet. But together, they mean the possible destruction of all universes everywhere. How this can be, I do not yet know. Hopefully the knowledge shall reveal itself to me in time to be of use to us."

"This does sound pretty bad, bro," Latias told her sibling.

Latios frowned, the unease he sensed from her mirroring his own. "Yeah…so, you need the Guardian of Light to stop this guy?"

The visitors nodded. "We are currently doing all we can to stop these twin threats on our own," Yamiri said. "The Mayor is recalling all Rescue Teams out in the field to Pokemon Square to bolster the town's defenses against the coming invasion. Meanwhile, Rescue Team Aurabolt has headed to Sinnorre to try and find the keys to the evil door before our enemies, and in the process hopefully rescue Misty and Gardevoir, whom the forces of evil are holding captive."

The dragons gasped, shock and concern peaking in both of them. "Not Misty and Gardevoir!" Latios cried.

"Yeah, those two were _really_ nice and were a big help in getting me to feel like myself again after…_that_ happened…" Latias recalled, shuddering with mixed feelings at the horrible event that had caused her to get separated from her brother but also helped her make all her friends in Pokemon Square. "And they're pretty good to look at, too."

"Yeah, they were, weren't they?" Latios remembered fondly. "Well, mainly Gardevoir."

"Yeah," Latias agreed, a dreamy look in her eyes as she thought of the beautiful Psychic. Latios thought of her too. It was hard to tell which of the duo the thought had originated from, actually…that happened sometimes.

Yamiri nodded. "Yes, even the female Pokemon seem to find her incredibly attractive."

"Definitely," Sabrina agreed. They blinked and stared at her for a moment. She said nothing more.

"Uh, hey, I know you said you don't actually know everything—which is lame—but are Misty and Gardevoir all right?" Latios asked, anxiety radiating from him. Latias radiated anxiety too, but didn't express it.

Sabrina hesitated. "Gardevoir is…fine. Misty…I'm not so sure about. A few days ago, I sensed a strange disturbance. I'm not entirely sure what caused it. I feel that Misty is still alive…and at the same time, not. She is also in this universe, and at the same time, not. I am as of yet uncertain how this can be. Hopefully this knowledge will reveal itself to me at a later date as well."

"Well, I'm sure Ash and Pikachu will rescue them!" Latias said optimistically, relief washing over her…and through the link. "They're the best Rescue Team ever!"

Latios snorted at the relief and…_other_ feelings he sensed in her at the thought of Team Aurabolt. "You only say that because they saved your life. And because you have a crush on Ash."

"I-I do not!" Latias protested, blushing. Both of them knew this was a lie. They didn't need to be Psychic to know each other's minds as well as they did. "At least they rescued me, which was more than you did!" she snapped back in embarrassment without thinking. He flinched and radiated hurt, and she instantly regretted saying that. She sent waves of apology over their psychic link, but he just turned away with an (almost literal) air of unhappiness and inadequacy surrounding him.

Yamiri and Sabrina exchanged looks, neither of them privy to the thoughts and psychic conflict brewing between the brother and sister and so not sure what was going on. Well, Sabrina was, but she wasn't going to say anything about it. "Ah, while Ash and Pikachu are indeed formidable warriors," the Sableye said, changing the subject. "There is no guarantee that they will win. I'm not saying they'll die or won't try hard enough, but…failure is still a rather unfortunate possibility."

"And if they fail, then the Guardian of Light is the only power in the Omniverse—save for Arceus himself, of course—that can defeat the evil behind the forbidden door and save us all," Sabrina said. "However, we will be unable to summon her to where she is needed most without your help. So we ask again: will you help us to save the world?"

Latios frowned in thought. Latias sensed uncertainty and doubt struggling with the desire to do the right thing and the urge to protect his sister roiling inside of him, but didn't push him, knowing this was something he needed to decide on his own. Yamiri and Sabrina, lacking the same connection to Latios' psyche that his sister did, merrily pressed him some more anyway. "Did we mention that Aaron of Team Auraforce is going to be returning from his self-imposed exile to assist us in calling the Guardian and defending the city?" Yamiri added.

Latios stiffened. Slowly he turned around. "Did you say…Aaron? Of Team Auraforce?"

"Uh-oh," said Latias with an amused smile as she detected the excitement bubbling up within her brother. "You probably shouldn't have mentioned that."

"Why not?" asked the puzzled priest.

He found out why a moment later. "Aaron'scomingback? OhmyArceusthatissocool,IthinkIamgoingto_die_,whydidn'tyoumentionthatinthefirstplace?! ThisissoexcitingIcan'tbelievethisishappeningtomeofallpeopleI'mgonnagettohelpthelegendaryheroofAuraAaronsavethewholefrickingworld! Thisislikeadreamcometrue. Pinchme,somebodypinchme!" Latios squealed at the top of his lungs. Latias pinched him. "Ow! What'd you do that for?" he asked in a regular tone (and speed).

"Oh my," Yamiri said, somewhat disturbed by the previously serious dragon's rather abrupt personality change.

"My brother really likes Aaron," Latias told their visitors with a smirk.

"I'm his biggest fan," Latios said happily.

"They all say that," Latias pointed out.

"I bet they don't have _half_ the Aaron memorabilia I have," Latios claimed proudly. "Do you think he'll give me his autograph? I hope he'll give me his autograph. I could die happy if he gives me that."

"But then who'd take care of me?" Latias asked, gazing at her brother with big, sorrowful puppy Growlithe eyes while struggling to hold back her mirth and not laugh.

Latios hesitated. He had always been a sucker for those eyes. "Well, maybe I could put off dying for a little later…"

"It seems that even the male Pokemon find Aaron attractive," Sabrina observed.

"Yes, well, he is quite a remarkable individual," Yamiri pointed out.

"Yeah…and very handsome," Latias said wistfully.

"Totally," Latios agreed dreamily.

They spent the next several seconds daydreaming about how much of a hunk Aaron was before remembering they had important business to attend to. "Anyway, does this mean you will assist us in saving the world?" Yamiri asked Latios.

Latios nodded vigorously, earning a smile and waves of encouragement and gratitude from his sister. "If Aaron's going to be there, we'll definitely help you do this crazy thing. Although…do we absolutely _have_ to get Rayquaza in on this? I mean, I can think of a lot of other dragons who're worthier to be the vessel of the Dragon-God King's power than that garden Ekans…"

Latias rolled her eyes. "Oh, brother…"

He blinked in puzzlement. "Yes, I'm your brother, and I'm very concerned about your safety. What of it?" The others sweatdropped.

…

Meanwhile, in Volcano Cave…

"Hmm," Gary said, looking at the very large wall of fire blocking their path deeper into the innards of Mt. Boyleland.

"Hmm," he said again, looking at the very rickety and crumbly bridge right next to them that looked as if it would fall apart the instant someone stepped on it leading across a river of lava filled with Slugma and Magcargo to a rock island jutting from the stream, upon which an incongruous ornate fountain of cool, refreshing water bubbled happily.

"Hmm," he said one more time, looking at the finely wrought gold chalice in his hands, which he had found sitting in a niche right next to the wall of fire.

"Well?" Mary asked impatiently, wiping some sweat away from her brow. It was far too hot for her liking, and she didn't have the advantage of being incorporeal like Gary.

"I believe," Gary said triumphantly. "That I have figured out how to solve this puzzle."

"Okay," said Evan. "What do we do?"

Gary tossed the chalice to Mary. "Mary, put this in our swag bag! Evan, bring our new recruit front and center, it's time to put him to work!"

"Okay," said Evan, slithering to Gary, dragging the unwilling Gooey along in his coils.

"Gary, please stop calling it a 'swag bag,'" Mary grumbled as she put the chalice in their Rescue Team kit.

"Wh-what are you going to do with me?" Gooey asked anxiously, his red skin looking a brighter shade of vermilion as it dried out and reacted to the heat all around them.

"Gooey, my friend, as everyone knows, fire cannot possibly stand against the elemental might of water!" Gary said dramatically. "Which is why you're going to extinguish that wall over there for us so we can keep going."

Gooey gave him an incredulous look. "Are you kidding me?! I can't put out something that big!"

Gary raised an eyebrow. "Oh no? Evan, I think it's time we showed our compadre what sorts of things a mon is capable of doing when under great pressure."

"Okay," said Evan with a nod. He did nothing.

Gary frowned. "Evan. I said _pressure_."

"Yeah?" asked the confused Ekans.

Gary facepalmed. "As in, _squeeze him_, you idiot."

Evan's eyes widened. "Ohhhh." He started using Constrict on Gooey.

"W-wait, please don't-" Gooey started before Evan's serpentine body squeezed him very hard, causing his eyes to bulge out of their sockets, his head to swell up, and a huge jet of water to spew forth from his mouth nozzle and strike the wall of fire, causing it to sizzle and go out in a cloud of steam. "Uhhh…" the Octillery moaned as Evan eased his grip on him, causing him to deflate somewhat.

"Excellent! He works just like one of Evan's bath toys, exactly as I predicted!" Gary exulted. "Good job, Gooey! I knew we could count on you!"

"I think I might have ruptured something…" Gooey moaned.

"Well, suck it up, soldier, because we're going to need your special talent quite a bit more if we're going to make it through this place!" Gary said. "That's what being in a Rescue Team is all about…taking one for the team, and grinning through your tears! Just look at me, I'm always grinning, no matter what happens! Mwehehehe!"

"That might be less because you're showing resolve and loyalty to your team and more because you're partially deranged," Mary pointed out.

"That too," Gary agreed. He checked the Compass base. The needle pointed right at the passage they had just opened. "But enough chitchat. We have work to do! Onward!"

He led them through the tunnel no longer blocked by flames. Maren, who had been observing them from the shadows, sweatdropped. "…How the heck did _these_ guys manage to become a Rescue Team?!" she wondered incredulously.

…

That's a question we're all wondering, Maren.

So, what did you think of this chapter? Should I try to make future ones this short as well? Might mean faster updates.


	18. Come into my parlor

This chapter will probably be longer than the last one. But that's because there's tons of action-y goodness!

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters that don't belong to me.

Warning: Some of the things you read in this chapter may disturb you. I hope they do, actually. Have fun, and be sure to keep a sick bag handy!

…

Team Aurabolt moved swiftly through the winding tunnels and passageways crisscrossing the interior of the Tree of Beginning, evading guards whenever possible and fighting them when necessary. They killed or knocked the Nihilators out whenever avoiding them was impossible, Pikachu noting that whenever they terminated one of the villains' lives a look of squeamishness passed over Leo's face, but the Squirtle didn't say anything, so neither did he. They crossed glittering crystal bridges over gaping chasms, watched flocks of apparently harmless antibodies glide past them on their way to harassing some other group of intruders, observed mushrooms of amazing sizes and colors sprouting beneath the light of a crystal 'sun' set in the ceiling, and saw countless other wonders and miracles that no outsider (save the Nihilators) had ever seen before.

"Leo, stop taking pictures, you're making Michael nervous," Pikachu scolded Leo when the Squirtle kept taking snapshots of everything with his digital camera.

"Relax, I'm just taking some photos for the scrapbook I'll make later of our adventure," Leo said, snapping a photo of Ash scratching his back against a crystalline growth when he thought nobody was looking. "It's not like I'm stealing the soul of whatever I take pictures of or anything."

"C-can you do that?" Michael asked anxiously.

Leo snorted. "I wish!" He took a photo of Michael, causing him to cringe.

"Please stop doing that…" the Eevee begged Leo. "If images of all the things we have here are revealed to the outside world, more invaders will besiege us and try to claim the things we protect!"

"Isn't it a little late for that?" Ash asked. "I mean, considering that the Nihilators are already here and messing with your stuff."

"That's why we're going to kick them out!" Michael pointed out.

"But that doesn't mean another, even more powerful group won't come in the future and do this all over again," Leo said. "This place is shrouded in so many myths and rumors it's no wonder everyone think it's jam-packed with treasure. If you disseminated more information about what's really in here, you might get fewer barbarian armies and treasure hunters slavering after something they think you have that doesn't exist."

"But then they'll keep coming for the things that _do_ exist!" Michael argued.

"Or think that the Caretakers are lying and make them even more convinced that there's treasure here," Pikachu added.

Leo shrugged. "Was just an idea. Never said it was perfect."

"Michael, how much further to the depository?" asked Ash.

"Not far," said Michael in reply.

"Your Aura-sight any better?" Pikachu asked. Ash shook his head in the negative. Due to the fact that they were inside a giant semi-magical living thing, its ambient Aura was so strong that it made it almost impossible for him to make out any other Aura that was not close to him, let alone pick out any trails. Fortunately, his nose and hearing still worked pretty well, which had helped them avoid several patrols…unfortunately, a number of the Nihilators had similarly good senses and so managed to find them anyway.

"At least this place isn't nearly as bad as the catacombs beneath Treasure Town," Ash said. "The air down there is filled with malevolence. In here, I feel a sort of…benign presence. Troubled and hurt, but still benign. The Tree is aware we're here and trying to help it, isn't it?"

Michael nodded in agreement. "It's not intelligent enough to be sentient, but it's always been able to tell its friends from its foes."

"Then why did it attack us for throwing up or blowing bubble gum earlier?" Pikachu asked.

"It hates littering," Michael said, causing them to sweatdrop.

"How come we haven't seen anymore of your people yet?" Leo asked Michael. "I thought you said most of the Nihilators would have at least one with them at all times to guarantee some measure of protection from the antibodies, but so far none of the guards we've run into have had any with them."

Michael frowned in thought. "I'm not sure, to be honest…it's probably for the better, though. Considering that most of them have mind control chips in their heads, we might wind up having to fight them if we run into them."

Leo grimaced. "Yeah…I don't want to hurt them."

"We'd just knock them out," Ash assured him. Michael and Pikachu frowned. "What?"

"May I point out that most of the slaves are probably malnourished and injured due to abuse at the hands of their masters?" Pikachu pointed out.

"Like I was?" Michael added.

"Oh, right…" said Ash. "We'll have to knock them out gently, then." Michael and Pikachu facefaulted. Leo took a picture.

After that incident, they continued on their way, Michael leading them closer towards their destination…when Ash stiffened, his nose twitching. "I smell blood."

"Oh, sorry, I think I cut my toe earlier," Leo said, glancing at his foot. "The rocks can be kinda jagged here, and it doesn't help that there's crystals all over the place."

"Not you," Ash said. "From up ahead. There's…a lot of it."

The others looked at him in alarm. "Up ahead? But…the only thing ahead of us is the depository!" said the alarmed Michael.

Pikachu immediately drew his sword. "Then it looks like there's some trouble going on there."

"Let's move," Leo urged them, actually running ahead for a change. "Somebody could be getting hurt! Somebody who's not a bad guy, I mean."

They rushed down the tunnel, throwing stealth aside (and nearly leaving Leo behind too, the short lead he had built up swiftly diminishing as everyone else ran past him) as they charged towards the source of the blood Ash scented. After dashing through the curves of a short but windy corridor, they emerged in a large chamber brilliantly lit by enormous glowing green crystals emerging from the walls, floors and ceiling. Scaffolding had been erected on the walls and along the sides of the bigger crystals, with various machines and bins set up all over the place clearly intended to harvest the gemstones. Many of the glittering growths had rather large scars in their sides and pieces broken off of them, missing a lot more mass than the chunks of mineral lying in the aforementioned bins and wheeled carts scattered about the cavern, implying that they had been worked on for quite some time. Michael winced when he saw what had been done to the Tree's life crystals…and gasped as he saw what was emitting the odor Ash had smelled.

There were several dozen armored Nihilators and frailer, beaten-up-looking Pokemon who had to be their Caretaker slaves. All of them were lying on the ground or piled on top of each other, some of them missing heads or other body parts. Several of them were still oozing blood. "Oh no…" the Eevee whispered.

"Holy crap!" Leo gasped as he caught up to the team, panting for breath and sucking on his inhaler. "That's a lot of bodies! Are they-"

"No," Ash said, quickly scanning them with his Aura-sight. "Only the Nihilators are dead. The others are just unconscious."

Michael and Leo sighed in relief. "Thank goodness…" said the grateful Eevee.

"But who did this?" Leo wondered.

Pikachu frowned as he glanced about, his sword still at hand. "Whoever it is may still be here. Stay close."

Cautiously, they advanced into the large chamber, warily glancing about for any threats or signs of life. Michael grimaced and Leo shook his head sadly as they passed the unconscious Caretakers and saw what terrible condition they were in, with scars and shorn fur and bones nearly visible through their shriveled, underfed hides. Ash and Pikachu, on the other hand, glanced at the lethal wounds that had killed the Nihilators, noting that several of them looked as if their heads or parts of their body had been shorn completely off, some had had their throats slit, others had had their faces clawed or gouged off…while more still had been frozen solid in blocks of ice and shattered to pieces. "Could Bellum have done this?" Pikachu wondered.

"After the beating we gave her? And against her own people? No…someone else is responsible," Ash said, looking around carefully with his physical eyes, which were more helpful to him at the moment than his Aura-sight due to the luminous energy generated by the life crystals.

"Shouldn't we help them?" Michael asked quietly as he looked at all the worn-out, wounded, and malnourished bodies of his friends and neighbors.

"We don't have enough medicine for all of them," Pikachu answered.

"And if we're seen…" Ash commented.

"I think it's a bit late for that, don't you?" Leo replied. He was scanning the knocked-out Caretakers with his sunglasses. "Hmm. Fascinating…"

"What is?" Michael asked.

Leo blinked. "Hmm? Oh, the cellular structure of your people, it's quite a bit different from regular Pokemon, according to my readout here. Probably due to exposure to that life crystal radiation you were talking about earlier. And…yes…I think I may have an idea about what we can do about those mind control chips-"

Ash's ears twitched. He heard a very, very faint creak somewhere nearby, a foot applying a little too much pressure to a loose plank. "Stop. It's here."

They all froze. "Where?" Pikachu whispered.

"To our left. Several feet up. Don't look! It's hiding. I can barely make it out myself," Ash whispered back. "It's watching us."

"Oh man…this is intense," Leo gasped, getting sweaty all over. He sucked on his inhaler to keep from hyperventilating out of anxiety.

"Friend or foe?" Michael asked.

Ash closed his eyes and focused, trying to make out the Aura of their observer against the ambient glow of the crystals. He was surprised when he saw that the other Pokemon's Aura not only wasn't black, but was very familiar. His eyes shot open in amazement. "What the…it's her!"

"Who?" asked a confused Pikachu. "Bellum after all? Or one of her daughters?"

"No," Ash said, a sly grin forming on his face. "It's your girlfriend!"

Pikachu's eyes bulged. "Wh-what?!"

"Ooh, the ninja girl? Neat! HEY! YOU CAN COME OUT NOW! WE KNOW YOU'RE THERE!" Leo shouted at the top of his lungs, causing the others to cringe. "YOU DON'T NEED TO HIDE FROM US, WE'RE THOSE GUYS WHO HELPED YOU BEFORE, REMEMBER? WE'RE YOUR FRIENDS! WE JUST WANT TO TALK!"

"Leo!" Pikachu hissed.

"What? She knows we're here, we know she's here, what reason is there for us to keep quiet about it?" Leo asked.

"Maybe so as not to attract any Nihilators in the vicinity?" Ash said grimly.

Leo paused. "Oh. Right."

There was some movement in the shadows passing over a catwalk some distance above them, and a piece of the blackness detached itself from the rest and cautiously stalked forward to the railing, revealing itself to be a Buneary wrapped in black cloth with metal claws and red feathers to look somewhat like a Sneasel. She glared down at them fiercely with her beady red eyes. "Who is that?" asked an alarmed Michael.

"A friend of ours," Leo said.

"That's stretching it a bit, isn't it?" Pikachu asked.

"Well, she _did_ kiss you," Ash pointed out.

Pikachu sighed. "You're never going to let me forget that, are you?"

"Nope," Ash said happily.

The Buneary narrowed her eyes at them. Shifting her claws, she angrily tapped their points on the railing in a rapid pattern. "What's she saying?" Leo asked Pikachu.

"She's asking what we're doing here. She wants to know if we followed her somehow," Pikachu translated.

"You understand her?" asked the surprised Michael.

"It's Clickspeak, a nonverbal language most Pokemon with blades or claws or hooves understand and use to communicate if verbal speech is impossible or inadvisable," Pikachu explained. "You don't have it here in the Tree of Beginning?"

Michael shook his head. "I've never heard of it before now. We cut ourselves off from the outside world and most of what goes on there to better protect ourselves and the Tree. Sounds like it could be a useful form of communication, though…if you understood what it meant, anyway."

"We didn't follow you here," Ash called up to the ninja. "We didn't even know you were here. We came here for reasons of our own."

"Speaking of which, what _are_ you doing here?" Pikachu asked. "It seems like quite the coincidence that we'd run into you twice in a row despite our being on separate quests." He frowned. "Unless you're after the same thing we are?"

She glared at the samurai. _I'm getting what I need to kill someone who has it coming. What are you doing here?_

"They're here to help liberate this Tree and my people from the Nihilators," Michael said after Pikachu finished translating. "And, uh…thank you for not hurting any of them. Other than just knocking them out, I mean." He frowned. "Why did you do that, anyway?"

_I don't kill people who don't deserve it if I don't have to,_ she clicked in reply. _They attacked me, but I could see by the looks on their faces and the way their bodies moved that they had no control over their actions. I knocked them out and killed their masters instead._

"That's rather moral…for a ninja," Pikachu said, grudgingly impressed.

"What do you have against ninjas? They're cool!" Leo said indignantly.

"They're also assassins and masters of stealth who hire themselves out to wealthy clients to kill Pokemon that bother them," Pikachu said. "Like mercenaries, only sneakier."

"Team Shiftry isn't like that," said a surprised Ash.

"They're not actual ninjas, they just took a correspondence course to make themselves look cooler," Pikachu replied.

_Your judgment means little to me. I do what I need to do to survive, just as all of us do,_ the ninja clicked back, mildly irritated.

Michael gasped, suddenly noticing a small satchel hanging against the ninja's side, almost invisible due to its black coloration against her wrappings. It was partly open, and a faint green glow could be seen from within. "And does that survival have anything to do with stealing life crystals that don't belong to you?!"

…_I need these,_ the Buneary said after a moment.

"Why? When last we met, we helped you get an ancient scroll. Now you're stealing life crystals? What are you up to?" Pikachu asked suspiciously.

"It can't be that bad," Leo said optimistically. "Ash says her Aura isn't evil."

"It's convoluted, though," Ash said. "I'm not sure I really understand what she's after."

"Plus, she's plainly said she's planning to kill someone!" Pikachu pointed out.

"Someone evil, though, who deserves to die," Leo rebutted. "She's said as much herself."

"We only have her word on that, though. How can we trust her?" Pikachu retaliated.

"Additionally…how exactly are you going to kill someone using LIFE crystals? Their powers are based on healing and growth, not on death!" Michael said. The ninja said nothing. Michael growled. "Well, I don't care what you intend to use them for, you can't have them! Those crystals are a part of the Tree of Beginning, and by removing them you're hurting the Tree!"

_More than these other invaders have hurt it? Compared to them, the crystals I'm taking are a mere pittance. They won't be missed,_ the ninja rationalized.

Leo frowned thoughtfully. "Hmm, she has a point. I was actually going to ask if I could take a few crystal bits that were already broken off. You know, as souvenirs."

"Leo!" Pikachu snapped.

"What? These things are kinda neat. And it's not like I'm gonna do anything with them, Michael said they're pretty much useless outside the Tree," Leo pointed out.

"No, I said their life-extending powers don't work, they still have other properties that could be abused by the unscrupulous," Michael corrected Leo.

"And I suppose one of those properties must be killing immortals?" Ash reasoned, suddenly remembering that the scroll the Buneary had taken from Tiama's castle had apparently been instructions on how to do just that.

"She's going to kill an immortal? Then I _definitely _can't let her have those!" Michael said in alarm. "Not if she's going to kill a Legendary Pokemon!"

The ninja growled in frustration. _I have no business with the legendaries, nor they with me. The one I seek vengeance on gained immortality through unorthodox means, and so must be killed through similar means._

Leo perked up at this. "Gained through unorthodox means? Ooh, is he an evil sorcerer or something? Did he slaughter your entire village and use their bodies and souls in some alchemical ritual to create the Philosopher's Stone and give himself eternal life?" Everyone stared at him blankly. "What? I saw it on TV once."

…_No. He is not a sorcerer. But he still must die!_ The Buneary snarled. _What he did can never be forgiven._

Ash frowned. "Like I said before, I don't condone vengeance…but an evil immortal running around sounds like bad news. Is there any way we could help get rid of him?"

"Ash, don't we have enough on our plate already?!" Pikachu asked in exasperation. "What with trying to save the world from an evil organization led by a villain who might already be immortal, though probably isn't the same being this Buneary is Abyss-set on killing?" He paused. "Unless…Ninja! Is your foe the same as ours? Do you seek to kill the leader of the Nihilators, who almost destroyed the world centuries ago?"

_I have no idea what you're talking about,_ the Buneary clicked back in annoyance. _My enemy gained immortality recently, so can't possibly be responsible for whatever you're going on about. It's none of your concern, anyway. This is something only I must do._

"Whenever someone says that, they usually need help from others the most," Leo said sagely. "Unless it really is something only they can do. Is there a prophecy involved here? If not, then we can probably meddle to our heart's content."

_This has nothing to do with you. Stay out of my way,_ the ninja clicked in frustration, starting to lose her patience.

"But it has everything to do with us, especially since you're stealing life crystals from my Tree!" Michael said stubbornly.

The Buneary growled. _Didn't we go over this already? I'll be putting them to better use than these Nihilators._

"Yeah, using them to kill someone!" Michael retorted.

"Who probably has it coming," Leo pointed out.

"Leo, we still don't actually know that," said Pikachu.

"We don't," Leo admitted. "But I trust her."

Pikachu gave him an incredulous look. "She's an enigmatic ninja of dubious morality we've only met twice and has rather frankly stated that she's on a quest of vengeance. A quest to _kill_ someone. And you trust her because…"

"If she were a bad ninja, she would've killed Michael's friends rather than incapacitate them, right?" Leo reasoned. "She went out of her way to leave them alive. That means she has to be a good guy, doesn't she?"

"Just because someone's a bad guy doesn't mean they can't have a sense of honor or some standards, things that even they wouldn't do," Ash said.

"The Nihilators have no honor or standards," Michael said angrily. "They've enslaved my people, used us as tools and sex toys, and are destroying our home for greedy and malevolent purposes!"

"I said _some_ bad guys have honor, not all of them," Ash amended.

The Buneary rolled her eyes. This was a waste of her time. She had what she came for, now it was time for her to go and seek out her quarry. "Hey, we're not finished! Come back here!" Michael demanded as she turned to leave. "Somebody stop her before-"

The ninja hurled a smoke bomb to the floor, throwing up a cloud of smog that concealed her escape. Coughing, Team Aurabolt staggered out of the smoke. "She's gone," Ash grunted, scanning the cave with Aura-sight. "Not a trace of her anywhere."

"I gotta say, your girlfriend sure knows how to make an exit," Leo commented to Pikachu.

The mouse's face turned red. "SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!"

"I can't believe she got away like that…and with a whole bag full of life crystals, to boot!" Michael growled angrily. "Grandma's gonna kill me when she finds out…"

"I think she'll be too happy that you saved her and the rest of the Tree to bother worrying about some missing crystals by the time we're finished here," Ash said.

"You don't know my grandmother," Michael grunted.

"Don't worry, I'm sure we'll run into her again, probably in the next dungeon," Leo said confidently.

"Why do you say that?" Pikachu asked.

"She was here, wasn't she? She's obviously going to be a recurring character in our adventures," Leo said.

Pikachu sighed. "If it weren't for the fact that this was, in fact, the second time we've seen her, by some remarkable coincidence in a place we happened to be at the same time, I'd think you were making this stuff up…"

"Maybe next time we bump into her you can tell her how you feel," Leo said.

Pikachu's eye twitched. "Leo, I'm not in love with her!"

"Not yet you're not," Leo said confidently. "It'll happen eventually." Pikachu facepalmed.

"I don't think there's anything we can do about her now…we'll just have to keep going," said Ash. "Leo, before we ran into her, you were mentioning that you think you know what we can do about the chips in the heads of Michael's friends?"

"Hmm? Oh, right!" said Leo. "Okay, here's the scoop. Every chip is preprogrammed so that, when implanted in someone's head, they have no choice but to stop whatever they're doing and obey a Nihilator if one tells them to do something. They also can't harm a Nihilator directly or indirectly, in fact, it gives them a shock whenever they even contemplate rebellion."

"Don't I know it," Michael said grimly. "I thought it was some sort of wizardry they were doing to me with their advanced science, I had no idea it was something in my head."

"You didn't notice them surgically inserting something into your skull?" Pikachu asked.

"Soon after they took over the Tree, I had a nightmare that they cut open my head and put something inside of me," Michael admitted. "But it was so horrifying I convinced myself that I had to be dreaming and something like that couldn't possibly happen in real life."

"Looks like you were wrong," said Ash.

"If all the chips are individually programmed, then does that mean we'd have to destroy each of them manually to free the Caretakers?" Pikachu asked Leo.

The Squirtle smirked. "Fortunately, no. While each chip individually forces a Caretaker to obey the Nihilators, they can receive a wide-range signal en masse from somewhere else that allows the Nihilators to remote-control the lot of them rather than giving orders in person, which would be more time-consuming. That way they could order big groups of them about without needing someone to be right there to direct them."

"Where's this signal coming from?" Ash asked.

"A satellite in orbit, which is relaying the signal to the Tree from somewhere else entirely. We can't get there," Leo said regretfully. "However…I think it might be possible to either jam the signal or beam one of our own into their brains using the very same satellite that's controlling them. Let me see…" He reached into his shell and pulled out a book labeled _MacGyver's Guide to Making All-purpose gadgets out of convenient everyday objects. _He flipped through it. "Uh-huh…yeah…yeah…ah, here we go." He glanced up at the others. "Okay, according to the specs I got on the chips with my shades and the information in this book, I think I can build a semi-legal radio transmitter that could disable the mind control, tracking, and other evil features of the chips by piggy-backing on the satellite's frequency and reprogramming the chips to be harmless. Unfortunately, it would only be a short-range transmitter, so we wouldn't be able to liberate all the Caretakers at once, just whoever's closest to us."

"Then couldn't they use the satellite to…I don't know, kill the others who are still affected once they realize you can neutralize their control?" asked a worried Pikachu.

"Could they do that?!" asked the alarmed Michael.

"I wouldn't put it past them," said Ash.

"Probably…but I'm afraid that's the best I can do," Leo said apologetically.

"We'll just have to figure out some way to go around and save as many Caretakers as we can before the Nihilators kill them to keep us from rescuing them," Ash decided. "Leo, can you build this transmitter thing?"

Leo nodded. "Yeah, no problem, the book gives me pretty clear instructions! Only…" He bit his lip. "I don't have all the parts I need. Some of the stuff I could get from scavenging parts of my gear, but a bunch of the other things aren't exactly available to the average joe. Hmmph, convenient everyday objects my ass…also, I'll need an intact mind control chip, but I don't know how we could get one of those without removing it from somebody's head. And while I did some studying on medicine online—just in case I got stuck with an injury out in the wilderness, far from any Nurse Joy--I'm nowhere near qualified enough to do brain surgery."

"Then it's a good thing we're going to the Doctor's lab," Pikachu said. "He'll probably have all the things you need there."

Leo brightened at that. "Hey, yeah, mad scientists are always good for stuff like that! You can always count on them to have random high-tech goodies lying around. That should do the trick."

"But first we have to get in there," said Ash. "Michael, you said there's a tunnel we can use to get into the Doctor's lab. Where is it? We should probably get in there before anyone wakes up or the guards get here."

"It's this way," Michael said, leading the group away from the center of the room.

"Why haven't the guards showed up yet, anyway?" Pikachu wondered. "Wouldn't they have alarms or something to let them know a bunch of their own have been killed?"

"Yeah, but it's probably a trap," Leo said.

Ash frowned. "What makes you say that?"

Leo shrugged. "Everything's been too easy so far. We've only bumped into a few guards and none of those robot spiders Michael told us about. Either the Nihilators are completely incompetent or we're walking into a trap."

Ash and Pikachu exchanged worried looks. "That makes…a little too much sense," Pikachu said uneasily. "I think he might have a point."

Ash nodded in agreement. "Yeah, after all, you can always tell a Monster House is coming when you come into an open area with lots of convenient items lying around. This _has_ been too easy."

"You think it's a trap? What can we do about it?" Michael asked worriedly.

"Well…" Ash pulled out his Golden See-Trap Orb and activated it. He waved it around for a bit, but it didn't pick up anything. "There's nothing in here. There are some things that might be traps nearby, though. Michael, where's that tunnel?"

"Over here," Michael said, leading them to the back wall of the chamber. He nudged a small boulder over to reveal a rather tiny hole in the wall.

"That _is_ a small fit," Leo said self-consciously, hugging his shell.

Ash crouched down and pointed the Orb at the tunnel. The digital mini-map on its top lit up to show a detail of the area they were in. Sure enough, the tunnel ahead of them was full of traps. "Yep. It's a trap," he said redundantly.

Michael sagged. "Oh no…"

"Then do we need to go another way?" Leo asked.

"Not necessarily," Pikachu said, pulling out a Trapburst Orb from his knapsack. "This should do the trick." He handed the Orb to Ash, who pressed the button on its top and carefully rolled it into the tunnel. A few moments passed, and then there was a bang and a flash of light from within the hole. The cavern shook slightly, and a few wisps of smoke wafted out of the tunnel.

Ash checked the See-Trap Orb again. "There," he said, rather pleased. "All the traps in the tunnel have been destroyed."

"That's a relief," said Michael, glad that he hadn't just been about to lead his new friends into a trap.

"Wait, but that doesn't mean there's still nothing in there," Leo said. "What about robot spiders? Do those count as enemies or traps?"

"Good question," said Ash. "Pikachu, we have anymore Radar Orbs left?"

Pikachu shook his head. "We used them all up in Treasure Town, and that store in Turtle Town didn't have any in stock. You know, due to trade being rather limited over the last few years thanks to the dragon attacks."

"I'll just have to improvise then." Ash poked his head into the tunnel and closed his eyes. "Well, I don't _see_ anything that looks like a spider…or smell it…but then again, it's not exactly easy to tell due to the Aura from the Tree…I think we should be okay, though."

"There could be tons of enemies waiting on the other side, though," Leo pointed out.

"We'll deal with them when we get there," said Ash, pulling his head back out. "So. Who's going in first?"

…

After some debate, it was decided that Ash and Pikachu should go in first, followed by Michael and Leo, since it was unlikely there were any membranes or other things ahead of them Michael needed to warn them about. Additionally, if there were any enemies waiting for them on the other side, Ash and Pikachu would be the best ones to have face them first. It would also allow Michael and Leo to escape back through the tunnel should something go wrong (and assuming there wasn't anyone waiting for them on the other end.) This plan suited everyone, especially Leo, since it left him alone and unsupervised in the depository for a few seconds, just long enough to grab a few unattended life crystals and stuff them in his shell before following the others. He had a feeling they'd come in handy someday.

The tunnel was even narrower and cramped than the one they had used to get into the first sap vein, and at least twice as long, but the thought that if they stopped they might get stuck and be eaten by flesh-eating robot spiders was more than enough incentive to keep them going. After several minutes in the crushing dark, they thankfully reached the exit (knocking over a cabinet that had been blocking the tunnel opening in the process and making an incredibly loud noise when everything inside shattered, but since no guards came running they decided it was okay) and came out into a cavern…

Which, in retrospect, wasn't much more inviting than the tunnel they had just left. It was dim and dank, and webs that didn't quite look like they were made of ordinary spider silk were everywhere. Several cocoons hung from the ceiling, some of which still twitched occasionally while a couple of others moaned. Huge databanks and processors and computing equipment were shoved up against the wall, pressed shoulder to shoulder against shelving and cabinets full of thick notebooks and jars containing macabre and grotesque preserved specimens. The floor was covered in benches and worktables with all sorts of strange whirring contraptions, bubbling chemistry sets, and malformed body parts—both organic and mechanical--strewn all over them. Crystals, both of the regular and life variety, were hooked into mysterious machines that seemed to be examining them and analyzing their structures and properties for some nefarious purpose. There was a large operating table in the center of the room with the corpse of a Ledyba on it. Its body parts had been torn off and reattached from a distance by long tubing, and from the bite marks and bruises and gruesome wounds on the insect's body it looked as if it had suffered a great deal of trauma before succumbing to death, which couldn't have been that long ago judging by the smell or the relatively fresh blood. There were a number of metal doors which had been bolted over holes in the walls which probably led to other compartments and chambers of Michael's refurbished family home, hiding whatever horrific experiments the current occupant was keeping in them from view.

"Well, this is lovely," said a disgusted Ash, his nose wrinkling at all the smells of decay and blood and metal and strange caustic chemicals that filled the chamber.

"Are those things on the ceiling what I think they are?" Pikachu asked.

Ash examined them with Aura-sight and soon wished he hadn't. "Yes. Very much so," he said, his face turning green.

Leo wasn't sure whether to be grossed-out or amazed. "So this is what a real mad scientist's laboratory looks like. It's…" He paused, staring at the dismembered Ledyba corpse. "Interesting."

"Poor Larry…" Michael whispered sorrowfully as he looked at the dead bug. "This cave is where my family has lived for countless generations…what has the Doctor done to this place? Why has he desecrated it with his foul experiments?"

"I don't detect anyone alive in here, but I'm getting some weird Auras from behind those doors. One of them might be your grandmother's," Ash said after scanning the room.

"Let's find her," said Michael with a shiver. "I don't want to stay here any longer than we have to."

"Me neither…" said Leo. He glanced around. "Hey, I think some of the stuff I need to make that gizmo is here. Why don't we split up? Ash and Michael can go look for Michael's grandma, while Pikachu stays and protects me while I look for machine parts."

"That sounds fine," said Ash.

"Wait, you're actually suggesting we split up?" asked the surprised Pikachu. "I was expecting you to say something about how whenever people split up in movies they always get picked off one by one or something."

"Yeah, but that usually happens in bigger areas where the separated groups aren't in earshot of each other," Leo pointed out. "This place doesn't seem too big, if anyone hollers we can be there in a moment's notice. And…" He lowered his voice. "To be honest, I'm not really keen on seeing what's behind those doors, if this doctor's as twisted as the things lying about would indicate he is."

So that's what they did. Pikachu and Leo started poking about the main workspace of the lab, the turtle picking up bits of electronics and circuit boards and examining them with the eye of a connoisseur before either disdainfully throwing them away or stowing them inside his shell (trying not to look too closely at some of the less mechanical things the Doctor had been working on in the process) while Ash and Michael checked each of the doors one by one, the Lucario looking through it with Aura-sight to check for threatening life-signs before throwing it open to see what was inside. So far, they had encountered nothing dangerous…except for the Frankenstinian monster with the face of a Persian, compound eyes of a Yanmega, tail of a Drapion, body of a Swalot, wings of a Swellow and Charizard, whiskers of a Barboach, tentacles of a Tentacruel, and legs from several dozen assorted species of Pokemon chained to the back of a closet that lunged, singing as sweetly as a Jigglypuff, at them the second they opened the door. They were all too happy to slam it shut and slide the cabinet that had been blocking the tunnel into the lab over it to make sure the thing inside didn't get out. "Wrong door," Ash said, face pale.

"Very wrong," Michael agreed.

"That anyone you knew?" Ash asked the Eevee.

Michael shook his head slowly. "I have no idea, and I'm not sure I want to get one."

Meanwhile, Leo had found just about everything he needed. "I think I have just about everything I need," Leo said, raising an unused mind control microchip he had found into the air and examining it carefully. "This'll do perfectly. Normally I'd need to find a way to reprogram this, which could take hours and several milligrams of silicon, but with the device I'm putting it into that won't be necessary. When I turn it on, it'll automatically transmit a signal to any microchip with the same circuit pattern as this baby in range using the Nihilators' own satellite frequency and cause it to permanently shut down."

"Cool," said Pikachu, understanding only half of what Leo had just said. "Then you can build that machine?"

Leo nodded. "Yeah, just need a few minutes to put it all together, there are some sensitive parts involved. And I think I could use one more…" He glanced around. "Ah, let's see…oh, that computer should do the trick." He walked over to one of the working machines against the wall and started prying open the side casing. As he did so, however, he jostled a nearby monitor and caused its screen saver to turn off.

"Hey, I think there's something on this computer," Pikachu said, pointing out a rather odd display on the monitor to Leo.

Leo glanced up as he removed a couple of circuit boards and wires from the machine he was scavenging. "Hmm? Ooh, they didn't password-lock this one? Heh, their loss, let's see if we can't learn any of their evil plans!" He pushed Pikachu aside and started using the attached keyboard and mouse to check out the computer's secrets. He was disappointed to find, however, that just about all the important files and folders were heavily encrypted and he didn't even know where to begin to decode those. However, a web browser was minimized but still open, and a click of the mouse restored it and revealed… "Whoa, I don't believe this!" Leo cried, instantly recognizing the website the browser had been left on. "They play City of Superguys too?!"

Pikachu frowned in recollection. "Isn't that the game you were playing earlier?"

Leo nodded. "Yeah. Who knew bad guys played it too? Hey, wait a minute…" He did a double-take at the very familiar username listed in the log-in page for one of his favorite MMORPGs. "No way…the Doctor is actually-"

"Grandma?!" Michael cried from across the room.

"Hey guys, I think we've found her!" Ash shouted to his friends.

Leo frowned. "Already? And completely unguarded? Am I the only one who thinks it's strange that we found who and what we were looking for without much trouble and there was nobody here when we showed up, not even a guard?"

Pikachu nodded in agreement. "You're right, it's unlikely the Doctor would just have stepped out for a moment right when we were entering his lair…it's probably another trap. However, Ash's Golden See-Trap Orb and Aura-sight haven't picked up anything out of the ordinary…then again, the Tree's Aura _has been_ interfering a bit with his senses, so…"

"So we could be surrounded or being watched at this very moment and we wouldn't know it until it's too late," Leo sighed. "Wonderful."

"You'll get used to it," Pikachu said, patting Leo on the shoulder as they headed over to the room Ash and Michael had just discovered.

The chamber was small, even danker than the one they had just left, and was filled with the most revolting stench. It was the smell of death and decay, of sweat and unwashed bodies, of feces and urine and toxins and all sorts of other waste marinating together into an odor so strong it literally took their breaths away as they entered. The room was small, but packed with cages from ceiling to floor, each of which had a Pokemon in it…or what had once been Pokemon. They were so disfigured and burned and maimed and malformed that it was almost impossible to tell what species any of them had originally been, the experiments they had been subjected to so traumatic that their very DNA seemed to be unraveling, causing a few of the specimens to appear to be melting right before their eyes, their liquefied forms oozing through the bars and sloughing off onto the ground or into the waiting claws and paws and tendrils of the prisoners below, so hungry they didn't care what they ate as long as they could fit it into their many misshapen mouths. Ash and Pikachu, who had seen quite a few of the atrocities the barbarians of Kanjohenn had inflicted on their slaves and victims during their adventures, were so shocked and disgusted at what the Doctor had done to the Caretakers in his lab that they nearly threw up. Leo, who had played countless survival horror games and managed not to get nightmares from them (Even the infamous Eternal Night: Insanity's Requiem and everything in the Quiet Hill, Fatal Framer, and Resident Devil series), did, in fact, throw up, whipping off his shades to vomit all over the floor as the sunglasses flooded his brain with the knowledge of the atrocities that had been committed upon those captive Pokemon. Michael would have vomited as well, if he didn't only have eyes for his grandmother…or what was left of her.

"Grandma!" Michael cried, running over to one of the cages and rearing up on his hind legs to paw at it with his forelimbs, causing the occupant of the cage underneath it to moan and slither away from the bars. "Grandma!"

"Michael?" the thing that might have once been an Espeon rasped in a voice so raw from almost nonstop screaming that it was barely audible as a whisper. All four of her limbs had been torn off, leaving her with stumps that had been 'healed' over by accelerated cell growth to look like little nubs, her tail had been removed, every inch of her fur had been shaved off and the stitches barely visible through the grotesque mass of burns and scar tissue covering her entire body indicated that they had actually _cut off her skin _and sewed it back on later, her nose had been pulled off to reveal a hollow made of cartilage and bone, her ears had been cropped, and her eyes had been stitched shut. A strange metal device that looked sort of like a parasitic insect had been surgically fused to her skull, its 'legs' looking as if they were piercing her brain. The glittering red crystal on her forehead was cradled in two of its talons. "Michael, dear child, is that you? What are you doing in this horrible place?"

"I'm here to rescue you, Grandma," Michael said, his voice quivering as he tried not to cry. "I've come home."

"Who would do something like this?" Ash whispered, so horrified by the twisted conditions of the Pokemon caged around them that he dared not blink or even shut his eyes for a moment for fear of what vulgarities he might see in their mutilated Auras. "How could anyone be so…_evil_ as to do this to any Pokemon?"

"This guy's a mad scientist, from what we know," Leo said in a quivering voice, his face still pale from hurling up his lunch, breakfast, and midnight snack(s). "They tend to do whatever they feel like in the pursuit of science, ethics and morality be damned."

"Michael," the Espeon rasped. "You should not be here. This is an evil place. You have no idea how much danger you are in now."

"I can't leave without you, Grandma!" Michael declared. "We came all this way to save you, so that we can figure out how to free the Tree of Beginning and stop the Nihilators!"

The Espeon frowned. "'We?' Speaking of which, just who are those friends of yours I can hear, Michael?"

"We're Rescue Team Aurabolt, ma'am," Ash said respectfully. "We were on our way to the Tree on a mission of our own when we ran into your grandson escaping from a bunch of Nihilators and saved him."

"He told us of what was going on here. What the Nihilators are doing here is related to a quest of our own…we're trying to stop them from collecting seven Crystal Star Badges and destroying the world, and we have reason to believe that one of them is here inside the Tree of Beginning. The fact that the Nihilators have taken it over would seem to support that hypothesis," Pikachu said.

The Espeon laughed bitterly. "Ah, so you seek the Star as well? They have asked me many times, over and over again, where it is hidden…and I have not spoken, even when they took out my eyes, or cut off my skin, or raped and murdered my friends and kin right in front of me. I have resisted their mind probes and their tortures, for this is a secret passed down to us by Almighty Mew Herself, and I have no intention of letting that sacred trust fall into the paws of the evil or unworthy."

"Hey, we're plenty worthy!" Leo said indignantly. "We're the good guys! Not to mention Ash is an Aura Guardian-in-training, Pikachu's a samurai wielding the legendary sword Thunder Fang, and I'm the heir of the fabled DeKappa shades! You can't get much worthier than that!"

The Espeon perked up at that. "An Aura Guardian? Hmm, then perhaps…yes, that changes things. Michael!"

"Yes Grandma?" Michael asked anxiously.

"While I appreciate your coming here, it is too late to save me. My time has come to an end. You must assume the mantle of Protector of the Tree of Beginning in my place," she said sternly.

"But-" Michael protested.

"Don't argue with me! I'm old enough by now to know when my life is almost over," she snapped.

"But…can't we just give you some medicine or healing Potion?" Michael asked.

"I don't think any of the stuff we've got will fix what they did to her," Pikachu said doubtfully. "Or any of these other poor souls. I'm not even sure if a Joy could set it right…"

"You must take your birthright and liberate our home and the sacred treasures we have been entrusted with from these invaders," the Espeon continued. "Become the new Protector to free all the Caretakers and cleanse the holy Tree of these despicable Nihilators."

"And save Jovi, too?" Michael asked.

The Espeon hesitated for a fraction of a second too long. "Yes. And Jovi-"

"What's happened to her? Where is she?!" Michael demanded, sensing at once that the old Pokemon knew his sister's fate. "I don't see her here…or at least, if she's here. I don't recognize her. What did they do to her? Is she all right?!"

The Espeon winced. "Michael…it…might be for the best if you put your sister out of your mind for the time being. You have more important things to-"

"Where is she?!" he interrupted angrily. "You know, don't you?! Don't hide this from me, grandma! What did they do to her?!"

The Espeon looked down at her forepaws, not that she saw much since she had no eyes. Or actual forepaws, really. Just nubs. "…Michael…"

The others exchanged uneasy looks. "That doesn't bode well…" Ash muttered.

"I was afraid of this…" Pikachu sighed.

"Aw no…" Leo moaned. "Say it ain't so…"

"She's dead, isn't she?" Michael sobbed, losing control of himself and starting to cry. "She's dead, and there was nothing I could do to stop them from hurting-"

"Michael," the Espeon said finally. "Jovi is alive."

Michael glanced up in disbelief. "Sh-she is? Really?!"

The others sighed in relief. "Oh! Well, that's good, isn't it?" Leo said.

"If you knew what they did to her, you might wish she _were_ dead…" the elder said sorrowfully. "When they showed me what was left of poor Jovi, I nearly broke and told them what they wanted to know. Some part of me still wishes that I had earlier, while she still had a chance to…to be…" She swallowed and didn't finish her sentence.

Leo's face fell. "Crap. I was afraid of that."

"Me too," Ash admitted. "I mean, considering what Bellum said and all."

"Grandma," Michael asked desperately. "What. Did. They. Do. To. Her?"

"…I'll tell you," the Espeon relented at last. "But first…come closer. Press your face against the bars of my cage."

"Okay," Michael said, leaning forward as much as he could and doing as instructed. The Espeon leaned forward to meet him, and touched her forehead to his.

There was a blinding flash of crimson light, panicking the deranged prisoners all around them and causing them to shriek and hoot and gurgle as Michael screamed in agony and staggered back from the cage. The light faded and seemed to shrink into a tiny ball imbedded in Michael's forehead, which pulsated once before dimming. His grandmother had somehow transferred her crystal to him, as the small hole left in her skull seemed to indicate. "Whoa," said Leo.

"I…didn't know Espeons could do that," said an amazed Pikachu.

"Wait, does this mean Michael's going to evolve into an Espeon too?" asked the confused Ash.

Michael squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head in pain. "Unh…ugh…my head…it's…burning…Grandma, what did you do to me?!"

"That crystal possesses all the knowledge and wisdom of the great Protector line, stretching all the way back to the mists of time when our family first took up our sacred duty," the Espeon said as she sagged against the floor of her cage, looking much frailer and weaker than before. (And considering how frail and weak she looked before, that's saying something!) "I have been able to keep it from the Doctor and his prying mandibles until now, but I can no longer protect it. It is your responsibility now, Michael, as the newest Protector I pass this onus on to you. You must use it wisely. It will tell you everything you need to know to find the Star and rid our home of the Nihilators forever, but only if you listen to it."

Michael blinked. "Listen? It's alive?!"

"Oh, wait, don't tell me, since it contains all the wisdom and knowledge of the previous Protectors, that means their ghosts are in there or something, or some facsimile of them, right?" Leo guessed. "And if Michael listens to them they'll give him advice and stuff so he can do his job well?"

The former Protector nodded. "Precisely. And soon, my voice shall join the chorus of our ancestors to guide young Michael to his destiny."

"Cool," said Leo.

"Not cool," Michael disagreed. "Grandma, I'm not ready for you to die!"

"Death comes to all things in time, Michael…and my time is almost up," the Espeon said.

"Not on my watch," Ash said, grabbing the front of the Espeon's cage and trying to pull the whole thing out of the rack it was stored on. "We're a Rescue Team, ma'am. It's our job to help people in need, not leave them behind to die."

"What about everyone else here? We gonna leave them here too?" Leo asked.

Pikachu grimaced as he looked at the other captives. "I kind of hate to say this, but I think they might be beyond saving…"

"What are you doing? Stop this, you fool, you don't have time for this!" the Espeon snapped as Ash kept tugging on her cage. "You need to get out of here before it's too late, the Doctor could be back any minute!"

"Or maybe…he never left?"

The four heroes froze and whirled around as one of the large pieces of machinery out in the main room they had taken to be lab equipment lurched off the wall and unfolded into an enormous Ariados almost completely made of metal, with only a few organic body parts remaining. "_Hallo, wenig eine! _Mein name is Doctor Tarantulas, chief scientist of ze Nihilators. Velcome to my lair! I hope you are comfortable? You vill not be leaving anytime soon…ahahahahaha!"

"Oh no…" Michael's grandmother whispered in horror.

Michael gasped. "The Doctor…"

"Dude…a mad scientist who's also a cyborg who's also a giant spider?! Talk about covering your bases for creepiness," said an awed Leo.

Pikachu drew his sword as the others got into fighting poses. "What the…how'd we miss that guy?! He was there all along?!"

"He's more machine than mon," Ash realized as he scanned the Doctor with his Aura-sight. "He was able to disguise his Aura by blending in with all the other machines in here! He's been watching us since we got here!"

Tarantulas cackled. "Most astute, mein young friend! Ooh, I can see vhy mein superior vishes you to be taken alive…Lucarios are very rare, you vould make a _remarkable_ specimen for my experiments!"

Ash grimaced. "Why do I get the feeling I wouldn't like those experiments very much?"

"You were here the whole time…" Michael murmured. He growled, eyes (and crystal) flashing with rage. "Was that your plan?! To let us rescue my grandmother and listen as she told us the location of the Star Badge or something?!"

The Doctor nodded shamelessly. "Zat vas my original plan, ja."

"You colossal JERK!" Leo shouted. He paused. "Wait, can I take that back? There are probably worse things I should be calling you…"

"What have you done with my sister?!" Michael demanded.

"And with our friends Misty and Gardevoir?" Pikachu added.

The Doctor chuckled. "Ze Gardevoir is fine. As for ze ozer two…now, zat vould be telling, vouldn't it? Hahahahaha!" Ash growled and clenched his knuckles, blue flames dancing around his claws. "Anyvay, since you didn't act as I had hoped you vould, I'll have to use mein backup plan…vhich, to be honest, I vas hoping to do anyvay, it's much more fun! CHOBIIIIIN!"

One of the cocoons on the ceiling burst open and a Sunflora wearing a lab coat with a terrifying grin on his face and thick glasses over his eyes dropped to the floor. "Yes Doctor?...Chobin asked."

"I missed both of them?! Ugh, this is really not my day…" Ash grumbled.

"Was _he_ there all along too?!" Michael wondered.

"How did he breathe?" Leo asked.

"Why is he talking in third person and self-narrating?" Pikachu asked.

"Because Chobin feels like it…Chobin replied," Chobin replied.

"Bring in ze twins!" the Doctor ordered.

"Aren't you the one who can control their minds?...Chobin asked," the Sunflora asked.

Tarantulas paused. "…Ah, so I am." The heroes sweatdropped.

Two more cocoons on the ceiling wriggled and burst open, dropping a Plusle and Minun into the room. Ash cursed himself for not checking the ceiling more carefully, wondering what other creatures could be hiding among the Doctor's snacks. His stomach reeled in disgust when he saw the terrible condition the twin electric mice were in; their mouths had been sewn shut, their skin was covered in bruises and scars and stitches, their faces looked like they had been sliced up by carving knives, one of their ears was missing, and… "Holy shit, are those buttons?! Did you sew _buttons_ onto their eyes?!" cried an incredulous Leo. "Who _does_ that?!"

"Chobin read about it in a titillating novella and felt like trying it….Chobin said proudly," the Sunflora said proudly. "It makes them look like perfect little torture dollies, don't you think?...Chobin asked."

"…What _are_ you?" asked a horrified Ash.

"That's just _sick_," said the disgusted Leo. "And I think I've read that book, too."

Michael's ears flattened against his skull as he recognized the mice as his former friends. "Pipi, Mimi, no…what have they done to you?!"

"You, sir, do not deserve to live," Pikachu snarled.

"Chobin gets that a lot…Chobin said smugly," Chobin said smugly.

Tarantulas rolled his eye. "Yes, yes, enough boasting about how grotesque you are already, now vill you notice ze devices I have strapped to zeir bellies?" he asked, indicating the large blinking black boxes attached to Pipi and Mimi's chests. "Zese are explosives, as you may already have guessed. If you do not give me ze Star Badge and map in your possession and tell me vhere ze Star hidden in zis Tree is, I vill order my little dollies here to march over to you and explode. I vill retrieve ze items from your charred corpses, naturally."

"We'll get those bombs off those kids and save them before that can happen!" Ash vowed, enraged at what the mad scientist had done to the children.

Tarantulas threw back his head and laughed as Pipi and Mimi started stumbling over to the room Team Aurabolt was in, wobbling about like drunken Spinda and walking like puppets, which wasn't far off the mark considering that Tarantulas was using their control chips to make them do whatever he wanted. "Ah, but you can't! Ze bombs are rigged so zat if you so much as touch zem or try to remove zem in anyvay, zey go boom! Ze only vay to disarm ze bombs is to kill zeir carriers…and a bunch of brave, strong heroes such as yourselves vould _never_ do somezing like zat to helpless children, vould you now?" The foursome gave each other worried looks.

"You're a fool, Tarantulas!" Michael's grandmother spoke up. "If you detonate a bomb in here, you'll kill me as well! And if both Michael and I die, you will never be able to find what you seek!"

Tarantulas snickered. "Don't you zink I've already taken zat into account, fraulein? Your cage is almost completely indestructible! I make sure most of my specimen cages are, as a matter of fact, it's only practical. It'll take more zan a bomb to kill you vile you are in zere, I'm delighted to say!"

Chobin rubbed his leafs together gleefully. "So, what will it be? Will you hand over the goods, or are we going to have to set off some fireworks?...Chobin asked."

The team huddled anxiously as the Plusle and Minun staggered towards them. "What do we do? We can't hand over the Star and the map…" said Ash.

"But we can't kill those kids, either!" Pikachu hissed.

"No way, man, they're just victims, this isn't their fault!" Leo agreed.

"And they're two of my best friends! There _must_ be something else we can do!" Michael insisted.

"You have no choice. You must kill them if you are to survive and get out of here. The Tree needs you, Michael, you cannot die like this, not now," Michael's grandmother said.

"No! I have to save them!" Michael protested. "I won't leave them, or you, like this! If I really am the new Protector, I can't leave anyone I'm responsible for behind!"

She shook her head sorrowfully. "But you have to sometimes, for the greater good. It's the only way…"

"Not necessarily," Pikachu said, getting an idea. "Leo, can you use that machine you were talking about to stop them?"

Leo blinked. "Huh? That thing? I haven't even built that yet, just got the parts in my shell! I don't think I could get it up and running before they get here…and besides, that would only cut off Tarantulas' control over their bodies, he could still detonate the bombs at will. Hmm, but maybe…" He put his shades back on to scan the not-so-cheery Cheering Pokemon in hopes of finding a way to disarm the explosives. He blinked in surprise at what his sunglasses told him. A slow grin formed on his face. "Hehehe…well, what do you know…"

Ash and Pikachu exchanged looks. "Am I the only one worried by that look on his face?" Ash asked.

"No," said Pikachu. "I'm worried too."

"Hey, Doc!" Leo yelled. "Nice try, but you can't trick someone as savvy as me! If you wanted to put us in a moral dilemma, you should have used _real_ explosives, rather than some cheap knockoffs!"

Everyone gave Leo confused looks. "Uh, Leo, what are you talking about?" asked the perplexed Ash.

"Knockoffs? Vhat do you mean?" asked the puzzled Tarantulas.

Leo snorted. "Aw, cut the act Doc, you and I both know those bombs are fakes! Huh, you really had me going there for a minute, but it looks like you're all bark and no bite. What's wrong, you squeamish? All the horror props you've got here just a cover to hide how big a coward you are inside? Not that much of a surprise, really, since you _are_ a spineless bug! Well, arachnid."

"What are you doing?!" asked the dismayed Michael.

"I think he's lost his mind…" said the worried Pikachu.

Ash frowned. "Fakes? Are you sure, Leo?"

"Definitely!" Leo said. "They're totally bogus! You could smell the baloney in them from a mile away!"

"Impossible!" the Doctor refuted. "Vhat in blazes are you talking about?! Zere are no fakes here!"

Chobin nodded. "Yes, Chobin got them himself, they're the real deal!...Chobin claimed."

Leo blew them off. "Yeah, yeah, keep selling that story and maybe I'll believe it…not!" He smirked. "I'm calling your bluff. Go ahead, set off those bombs. I _dare _you."

"Uh, Leo, maybe we should talk about this-" Pikachu started anxiously.

"You zink ve're playing games, boy?!" Tarantulas snapped, enraged by Leo's tone. "Very vell! You asked for it!"

"Ah, crap," Ash groaned as the Plusle and Minun passed through the door into the holding room they were in and stood there as the bombs on their chest started beeping louder and louder, frightening the prisoners and causing them to throw up a ruckus. "Everyone stay close, I'll use an Escape Orb-"

He didn't get the chance. The bombs exploded…in a flash of light and puff of smoke that harmed absolutely nobody. There was a pause. Everyone stared in disbelief, except for Leo, who smirked and said, "Told ya."

"What the heck?!" asked an astonished Ash.

"I did not expect that to happen," said Pikachu.

"Does this mean there really are such things as miracles?" a disturbed Michael wondered.

"I don't believe it…" murmured the amazed Espeon.

"V-vhat?! IMPOSSIBLE!" Tarantulas screamed. He whirled on his assistant. "CHOBIN! I thought I told you to get ACTUAL explosives, not dummies!"

"B-but Chobin did!...Chobin protested," Chobin whimpered, cringing from his master's fury. He paused. "At least…Chobin thinks he did…Chobin said, trying to remember…"

One hour ago, at the Nihilators supply depot…

"Hello, Supply Manager lady!...Chobin said to the very sexy Kangaskhan behind the counter," Chobin said as he entered the supply depot the Nihilators had made for themselves using a spare cave. "How are you doing today?"

"Fine, thank you," the Supply Manager said a little icily. She was not especially fond of Chobin, especially since he had eaten her firstborn. She would have more eventually, but the loss of the one child still weighed on her. "What did the Doctor send you for today?"

"The esteemed Doctor Tarantulas will be needing a box of portable explosives, if you please, said Chobin," Chobin informed her. "Preferably the kind that can be easily attached to suicide bombers and small children."

The Kangaskhan nodded. "I have just the thing. Be right back." She entered the storeroom behind her.

Chobin frowned, noticing there was a perfectly good crate full of explosives already sitting on the counter. "Stupid womon, Chobin muttered to himself, didn't she see these were out? Chobin will just take these to the Doctor instead of waiting." He picked up the box and left.

The Kangaskhan came out of the storeroom a few minutes later carrying a box identical to the one Chobin had taken. "Okay, here's your-" She paused, seeing nobody was there. "Hey, where'd he go?"

It was at that moment that another Nihilator, a Loudred by the name of Drill Sergeant Nasti, entered the room. "Hey, you have that box of dummy bombs I ordered?"

"Huh?" The Kangaskhan blinked, confused by Chobin's absence. "Oh, it should be right over…" She trailed off, noticing, to her puzzlement, that the box of duds was gone.

"Hey, thanks, that's just what I needed," Nasti said, assuming (falsely) that the box the Kangaskhan was currently holding was the one he was looking for. He took the box from her before she could protest. "This should make for a good training drill!"

"But-" she called ineffectually as he left, too late to stop him. She sweatdropped. "Why do I have a feeling something horrible's about to happen? Oh well, so long as nobody blames it on me…" She supposed she should have done something, but she wasn't particularly fond of either Chobin or Nasti, (the latter had eaten her secondborn) so saw no reason to stop either of them from bringing misfortune on themselves.

Back in the Doctor's lab…

Tarantulas angrily smacked Chobin with one of his metal legs. "Ugh, you imbecile! Didn't you zink to check ze bombs to make sure zey vere ze real zing?!"

"No…Chobin whimpered…" Chobin whimpered, cringing as the furious Doctor loomed over him.

"Wait, how'd you know that Drill Sergeant guy came in after you and grabbed the real stuff?" asked the confused Pikachu.

"Oh, Chobin hung outside the supply depot for several minutes jerking himself off before heading back to the lab, so Chobin saw Nasti go in, get the bombs, and leave, Chobin explained," Chobin explained.

They stared at him in disbelief. "Wait, so you _saw_ him pick up the right bombs…and it never occurred to you that they might be the real ones?!" asked the incredulous Leo.

"No, Chobin said," Chobin said, causing everyone to facefault.

"I don't believe this…" Pikachu groaned.

"And these guys are trying to destroy the world?" Ash wondered.

Michael sweatdropped. "How'd they take over our Tree again?"

"I'm starting to wonder the same thing…" Michael's grandmother muttered.

"Dude, why are you employing this guy? He's got more than a few screws loose!" Leo asked Tarantulas directly.

The Doctor sighed. "I know, oh don't I know! But I'm rather fond of ze little nimrod for some reason…" He paused. His eye widened in horror. "Vait! If Drill Sergeant Nasti took zose bombs…ze combat drill he scheduled vas supposed to start about now! Zat means-"

A tremendous explosion occurred somewhere in one of the lower caverns, causing the entire Tree to tremble, the ground shaking beneath the feet of Nihilator, Caretaker, and hero alike. The already agitated experiments went berserk from fright, screaming and howling at the top of their lungs as the lab rocked, dust and stone falling from the ceiling as tables and shelving toppled over in the main room. Pikachu used his sword to support himself, Leo fell flat on his face, and Ash stumbled back into the cages, yelping as one of the prisoners clawed at his back. Unable to keep his delicate footing on the vibrating floor, Tarantulas fell over, bumping against a large computer bank against the wall and causing the already-unstable piece of machinery to tip over and fall on top of him. "Aaaaagggghhh! Chobin! Help!"

Chobin gasped. "Doctor!...Chobin exclaimed. Hold on, Chobin will save you!" He rushed over to his master and struggled to lift the fallen machine, aided by several dozen robot spiders and Tarantulas' own rather powerful servomotors.

Michael cried out in pain and squeezed his eyes shut as the crystal in his forehead flared. "Aaaaahhh! The Tree…I can hear it screaming! I can sense its hurt…ohhhh…is this what it means to be the Protector?"

"It is a heavy burden, Michael, but you are the only one who can bear it…and the only one who can do something to alleviate the Tree's suffering!" Michael's grandmother told him. "Quickly, now, while they're distracted, you have to get out of here! This may be your only chance!"

"But what about you?" Leo asked as he stumbled back to his feet, fell over, and pulled himself back up again.

"I told you, my time is at an end! That's why you have to go, before yours runs out as well!" the Espeon shouted. "Go! NOW!"

"If we're going, I'm not leaving empty-handed," Ash declared, grabbing poor Pipi and Mimi, who had fallen to the ground when the bombs went off, and tucking them under his arms. They squealed in fright, having no idea what was going on (due to their lack of eyes) and instinctively let out an electric shock. Ash gritted his teeth against the pain, but was not overly affected by it, he had experienced worse living in the Thunderblade household. "At least we can save these two! Come on, let's get out of here!"

"Ack! Zey're getting avay! Stop zem, stop zem!" Tarantulas cried, seeing that Team Aurabolt was getting away with his prized twin specimens.

"Okay, Chobin said." Chobin let go of the computer bank he had been lifting and turned to face the escapees, causing it to fall back onto the Doctor, who shouted in pain. "Oops. Sorry…Chobin apologized."

"Gah! Somebody COMPETENT stop zem!" the Doctor yelled.

He got his wish. From cracks in the walls, from secret compartments and hollows and dark corners, his spider army came forth, spilling out into the room by the thousands and rushing toward the heroes in a red-eyed tide of silvery death. "Uh-oh," Pikachu said as he noticed the robots approaching them.

"Spiders! Why'd it have to be spiders?!" Leo wailed.

"This way!" Michael yelled. "The exit's over…oh no!" The main exit from the lab was sealed by a large, thick, heavily secured metal door. "We're trapped!"

"Not for long," Ash said, running towards the door and leaping towards it with a flying Aura-powered kick. He hit the portal hard enough to tear it off its hinges, causing it to fly forward and knock over the Nihilator guards who had been waiting for them on the other side. Its momentum caused it to keep going, however, bouncing across the ground and sliding down the tunnel, which just happened to have a slope steep enough to keep it moving at a steady clip, though it threw up sparks and made a rather loud screeching noise as it ground against the stone floor. Ash had managed to land on top of it due to his kick, still carrying Pipi and Mimi, and the other three quickly caught up and jumped on the door before it picked up too much speed and left them behind. Dazed, the Nihilator guards picked themselves back up only to be engulfed in the mass of spiders that washed out from the laboratory, consuming them utterly and not even leaving bones behind as they swept down the tunnel after the escaping heroes.

"Is what we're doing actually possible?!" wondered an amazed Pikachu as they rode the makeshift board down the slope, the spiders chasing after them.

"Who cares?! It's cool!" Leo shouted ecstatically.

"Yeah, just like that time we went snowboarding!" Ash agreed.

"Ash, didn't you wipe out rather badly?" Pikachu asked anxiously.

"That Abomasnow leaped out at me from nowhere," Ash said defensively. He frowned, noticing that they were swiftly approaching a fork in the tunnel. Nihilators were running up either fork towards them, trying to keep them from getting away. "Uh oh, which way do we go?"

Michael grimaced, his head pounding as his crystal glowed again. He thought he heard someone…talking to him… "To the right. We have to go to the right!"

"Are you sure?" Pikachu asked.

Michael nodded. "Yes, the…uh…the voices in my head say we need to go that way if we're going to escape and make it to the Star Badge!" The others stared at him. He sweatdropped. "Uh, that sounded a lot better in my head…"

"Makes sense to me," Leo said with a shrug.

"Right it is!" Ash said, shifting his weight so that the door they were riding started inclining towards the rightmost fork. "You guys should probably do something about those roadblocks, though, I don't think our ride will be able to save us if we hit too many speed bumps!"

"What are speed bumps?" Michael asked.

Ash paused. "I'm…not sure," he admitted. It must have been another fragment of memory from his past. "But I know that they're not very helpful when you're trying to escape something as fast as you can!"

"Leave them to us!" Pikachu said, drawing his sword and slashing a Vacuum-Cut at some of the guards, slicing them in two with an energy wave. "You concentrate on steering!"

"Yeah, we got this!" Leo said, spitting Bubbles while Michael fired Shadow Balls to knock the remaining guards out of the way.

"Actually, Leo, there's probably something else you should be doing," Pikachu said as they sailed down the right fork, Ash swerving to avoid running into any of the Nihilators' bodies. The spiders had no such problem with the obstacles and washed over and devoured them as they kept up their pursuit.

"What's that?" asked Leo.

"With our extra passengers, the Nihilators might be able to follow us to the Star once we make our escape using the chips in their heads," Pikachu said. "I think now's the time for you to put that head of yours to good use and build that machine you were talking about!"

Leo stared at him. "Let me get this straight. You want me to build a delicate piece of equipment while we're boarding down a rock tunnel and being chased by ravenous robotic spiders?"

"Yes," said Pikachu.

"Cool! Give me a minute." Leo retracted completely into his shell. "Make sure I don't fall off!" he yelled, his voice muffled by his outer layer.

"I think they're gaining on us!" Michael said in alarm, looking back over his shoulder and seeing that the spiders were getting closer. "Can't this thing move any faster?"

"I'm doing the best I can!" Ash replied, trying to steer the door around some crystals growing from the floor right in their way. "I'm not exactly an expert at this, I only boarded the one time! Maybe I'd do better with my eyes closed…" He shut his eyes, relying on his Aura-sight and heightened senses to guide him.

Michael and Pikachu sweatdropped. "If he were anyone else, I'd say that was a really stupid and unsafe thing to do…" Pikachu muttered to himself.

"It probably is anyway," said Michael. "Should we do something about the spiders?"

"Right," said Pikachu, turning around and firing a lightning bolt into the midst of the swarm. Michael followed suit with a Shadow Ball. Unfortunately, their attacks, while destroying dozens of robots each, did absolutely nothing to diminish the sheer volume of the horde incessantly stampeding towards them. "Well, that worked perfectly," Pikachu said sarcastically.

"Maybe…" Michael concentrated. His body glowed a sparkling pink as he used Secret Power, and rocks ripped themselves from the cave walls around them and flung themselves at the spiders. He crushed several more dozen, but they still just kept on coming, perfectly happy to march over the broken corpses of their brethren to pursue their prey. "Okay, I'm out of ideas."

"How much further is it to wherever it is we're going?" Pikachu asked anxiously.

Michael listened to the voices in his head. He grimaced. "Still a ways to go…"

"And we might not make it…guys, more enemies incoming!" Ash warned his friends as several more Nihilators ran out from side tunnels to block their path, some carrying heavy spiked shields while others fired projectile attacks at them. Michael spat Shadow Balls and flung more rocks using Secret Power to deflect or intercept the projectiles, while Pikachu fired Thunderbolts and Vacuum-Cuts to slice down any shield-bearers in their path. Ash did his best to steer around the rest. As they passed the beaten guardsmon, the spiders washed over them too and consumed them whole, not discriminating between ally and enemy in their frenzied desire to kill the heroes.

Michael was shocked by this. "The Nihilators must have known that even if they stopped us, the spiders would keep coming and probably eat them, too…why are they so willing to throw their lives away? Don't their own lives mean anything to them at all?"

"As far as we know, the Nihilators believe they'll be rewarded in the next world for their actions in this life," Pikachu said solemnly, keeping his eyes on the tunnel ahead of them. "However, the ones who've mentioned it talk about it with a matter-of-factness and lack of religious fervor that makes me wonder if maybe they're actually right, unlike crazy terrorists or barbarians who misinterpret their deity's wishes as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want."

"But what kind of god would encourage behavior like this? Arceus and Mew certainly wouldn't!" said the alarmed Michael.

Pikachu frowned in thought. "Maybe it's not a god at all they're serving…there _are _other powers in this Omniverse, though not as strong as Arceus and Mew and Their children. And they tend to have less morals than the beings we worship…"

"The theological debate is nice, guys, but we really don't have time for this," Ash warned them. "We've got another fork coming up! Which way?"

"Right!" Michael said almost at once.

Ash steered towards the right…and yelled as a series of shimmering walls appeared in their path. "They've set up Barriers!"

"They must have Psychics!" said Pikachu.

"Or force field projectors," Leo said.

Pikachu stared at Leo. "Shouldn't you be working on that machine?"

"Just came up for a breath of fresh air. Bye," Leo said, pulling back into his shell. The others sweatdropped.

"The walls cover the entire passage, I can't get around them," Ash said in alarm.

"Then we'll break them down!" Michael said, spitting a Shadow Ball at the first one in their path. Pikachu fired a Thunderbolt at the same time. The attacks struck the Barrier, caused it to ripple from the impact, and…did nothing.

"Shit!" Ash yelled.

"Wait, maybe if we hit the same place at the same time?" Pikachu suggested a little frantically, since they were only seconds away from impact. And if they hit the Barrier, the spiders would be on them in moments.

"Worth a try," said Michael.

"I can see a weak spot about two meters off the ground and one meter away from the cave wall on the right side," Ash reported, examining the Barrier carefully with his Aura-sight. "If you guys hit that at the same time, that should bring it down!"

"Right!" said Pikachu. He and Michael attacked the wall again, aiming for the weak point Ash had indicated. Their Shadow Ball and Thunderbolt struck the exact same spot, causing that part of the Barrier to cave in slightly…and shattered just before they could hit it. They threw up their arms to protect their faces from the shards as they shot through where the wall had been.

"There's more of them! Keep it up!" Ash yelled. "The next one's weak spot is closer to the ground and a little to the left of the center of the tunnel!"

Pikachu and Michael quickly fired several consecutive attacks, blasting each wall apart as Ash told them the exact places to strike. They made it through each Barrier with only milliseconds to spare, and the wave of spiders still hot on their heels. Nevertheless, they still made good, speedy progress, and were almost at the next juncture. "There's only one barrier left," Ash said. "And its weak spot is…" he froze.

"What is it?" Michael asked.

"There is no weak spot!" Ash yelled in alarm.

"What do we do? We're going to crash!" Pikachu panicked.

"Hold on. Michael, which way do we need to go if we can make it through there?" Ash asked their guide, getting an idea.

"Left," Michael informed him.

"Okay. Hold these for me, would you?" Ash asked, dropping Mimi and Pipi. Pikachu and Michael had to scramble to catch them before they could fall off the board. Ash put his hands together, gathering power, and fired an Aura Sphere ahead of them. The energy ball hit the Barrier and exploded in a blast of blue fire that washed around Team Aurabolt as they passed through it and sailed into the gaping hole it had punched in the force field. "Ha! Just as I thought! They'll need to bring out stronger walls to stop us!" Ash boasted.

"You realize they probably will, now, right?" Pikachu asked. Ash sweatdropped.

"Okay Ash, take us through the left passage…" Michael started. Then he froze, hearing a warning from the voices of long-gone Protectors. "No, wait, it's a trap! Go right, right!"

Ash quickly swerved to the right, throwing up sparks and nearly throwing off the other passengers as he made an extremely sharp turn. And it was a good thing he did so too, because the left tunnel entrance exploded milliseconds later, causing a cave-in that sealed the whole thing off. The heroes would have been caught in the blast and killed if they hadn't changed directions just in time!

Unfortunately, they weren't out of danger yet. As it turned out, the right tunnel was rigged to blow up too! Fortunately, the group's last-second change in direction surprised whoever was controlling the explosives from afar and so took one second too long to detonate the bombs, causing them to explode right after the Rescue Team sledded past them, shaking the tunnel and causing rocks to fall all around them…but also sealing up the entrance behind them, effectively blocking the spiders out! "Whoa! That was a close one," said the astonished Pikachu. "Michael, how did you know it was a trap?"

"Yeah, not even I picked up those bombs!" Ash said.

"I don't know…I just heard a voice in my head telling me we were going the wrong way. I guess this is part of what it means to be the Protector…" Michael said.

"I'm amazed those Nihilators were able to set up everything so quickly…how'd they even know we would come this way?" Pikachu wondered.

"It must be the tracking chips," Ash realized, glancing at Pipi and Mimi, who were clutching his ankles in terror, having absolutely no idea what was going on around them. "They must be using them to predict which way we're going so that they can be ready for us when we get there."

"Then Leo had better hurry up with that thing before they come up with something that'll stop us for sure," Pikachu said.

"I heard that!" Leo yelled from inside his shell. "I'm working as fast as I can!"

"Well, at least those spiders aren't chasing us anymore…that should take some of the pressure off," Ash said optimistically. Naturally, that's when the spiders crawled through cracks in the wall of debris behind them and started chasing after them again. Ash groaned. "I should have learned by now not to say things like that, shouldn't I?"

"It gets worse…look ahead!" Pikachu yelled. Much to their horror, a _second _swarm of spiders was rushing up the tunnel towards them, effectively trapping them between two very deadly killers.

"Oh crap!" Ash yelled. "Michael, is there any way we can get around them?!"

Michael shook his head worriedly. "No…the only way out is right through them! But if we rush them they'll eat us alive!"

"Don't your ancestors have any advice?!" Pikachu asked desperately.

"I'll see." Michael squeezed his eyes shut in concentration. "Nnnnn…" His forehead crystal started to glow. Suddenly, familiar red blobs oozed out of the walls and took the forms of fossil Pokemon, flying towards the heroes and circling them protectively.

"Hey, it's the antibodies!" said Ash. "Uh, they're on our side, right?"

"As long as I'm with you," Michael said, opening his eyes, his crystal still glowing. "They'll always regard you as a friend!"

The antibodies swirled around them and lost their cohesion, dissolving into formless blobs again and melding together to create a wall of crimson matter that completely encircled the heroes. They plowed into the swarm of spiders ahead of them, the robot arachnids futilely flinging themselves against the wall only to be destroyed or flung out of the way by its surprisingly solid uniformity, the ring of antibodies granting Michael and his friends safe passage as they slid through the mass of mechanoids, smashing and displacing any that got in their way, until they finally came out the other end and continued towards the exit, leaving the bugs behind them. The wall dissolved and split back up into separate antibodies once they were safely through, allowing the team to see ahead of them again so they didn't crash into anything harder than a bunch of robots.

"Whoa," said an impressed Ash.

"I didn't know they could do that," Michael admitted in amazement.

"That was totally awesome!" Leo said.

"Leo, why are you-" Pikachu asked in exasperation.

"Relax, it's finished!" Leo said, presenting his masterpiece, a bizarre device with an antenna festooned with wires and circuit boards and other technological doodads.

Pikachu blinked. "Isn't that just your electric hair curler with some fancy add-ons?"

Leo shook his head in the negative. "Au contraire, my friend! It is far more than that…with the modifications I've made to this baby, I can permanently shut down any Nihilator mind control chip within five meters!"

"That's not very far," Michael commented.

Leo made a sour face. "I told you guys it would be short range…"

"Fire her up and see if she works," Ash suggested.

"Is now the best time?" Pikachu asked.

"It's definitely the best time, the sooner we turn those things off, the sooner we stop the Nihilators from tracking us," Ash pointed out.

"All right…just a sec…" Leo said as he flipped a series of switches on the side of his contraption, causing lights to start blinking and the 'curler' part of the machine to start whirring. "And…now!" The device emitted a flash of light and a radio signal on a frequency that, naturally, was completely invisible to the group. Its effects were apparent immediately, however, as Pipi and Mimi abruptly stiffened, little bolts of static crackling around their heads, before they sagged with grunts of audible relief against Ash's legs.

"You did it!" Michael cried. "They're free!"

"Yatta! I knew it would work!" Leo said triumphantly, relieved that it hadn't exploded in his face, which he had calculated there was a thirty-four percent chance of happening. "Heh, and you said it was stupid for me to be lugging this thing around!"

"Leo, you're amazing!" Pikachu commented, shaking his head in wonder.

"Yeah, I know," the Squirtle said smugly.

"Pipi…Mimi…are you guys okay? Can you hear my voice?" Michael asked the Plusle and Minun, who stared at him silently with their little button eyes and stitched lips. Cautiously, Mimi reached out and felt for Michael's face with her blue-tipped nub hand. Finding something she recognized, she squealed in delight, lurched off of Ash, and hugged Michael. Her brother tried to do the same thing, but was facing the wrong way and nearly fell off the board, but Pikachu quickly turned him around and directed him towards Michael. The three friends held each other tightly in a warm, heartfelt embrace.

"Awww," Ash said, moved by the moment, as were his teammates. Even the antibodies looked moved. Well, maybe, it was sort of hard to tell since they didn't have faces.

"Yeah…too bad they're still blind, horribly mutilated, and will have psychological trauma from their torture for the rest of their lives," Leo said. Ash and Pikachu glared at him. "Er, right, shutting up now…"

They reached the end of the tunnel and came out into a huge canyon that looked as if it extended horizontally and vertically for miles in every direction through the innards of the Tree of Beginning. A long bridge made of thick crystal was the only thing spanning the chasm, leading from a jutting span of rock extending from the cave they had just exited to another tunnel on the other side. "I'm guessing we're going over there?" Ash asked their native guide, who nodded.

"Not like there's anywhere else to go," said Pikachu. He stiffened. "Uh oh, here comes trouble!" A pair of armored Ursarings had emerged from the cave on the other side of the bridge and were running towards them.

"Ha, we can take them!" Leo said confidently. "Especially with these guys escorting us!" The antibodies wriggled in agreement and shot forward towards the bears.

The Ursarings opened their mouths, gathering energy in their jaws, before firing Hyper Beams…right at the bridge, causing the entire span to disintegrate in a flash of light and a cloud of diamond dust. Laughing, the bears retreated back into the tunnel while the antibodies paused, too startled by the bridge's destruction to pursue them. The heroes were startled too, especially since they were sliding right towards where the bridge had used to be at incredibly high speeds. "Ash, stop this thing!" Pikachu yelled.

"I can't, we're going too fast, we'd sail off the edge anyway!" Ash yelled back.

"Then let's jump off and find another way across-" Leo started, until the robot spiders, which had apparently gotten their act back together, surged out of the tunnel they had just left and raced towards them. "Oh, FUCK ME."

"What do we do? We're dead either way!" said the alarmed Pikachu.

Pipi and Mimi whimpered and hugged Michael out of fright. The Eevee growled angrily, furious at the Nihilator's latest dirty trick. However, he thought he had a way out of this. "Guys…do you trust me?"

"Huh?" Ash asked. "What kind of question is that?"

"Of course we trust you," said Pikachu.

"But now's not the time to be asking that…unless…you have some brilliant but incredibly risky plan to save us all?" Leo asked, realizing what Michael was up to.

Michael nodded. "Yeah…but we're going to have to go off the edge!"

"Well, seeing as how we don't have an actual choice since we're only seconds away from the edge of the cliff anyway, okay," Ash said. "What's your plan?"

"You'll see," Michael said enigmatically.

The door they were riding on reached the edge of the rock span and sailed off into the open expanse. For a moment it looked as if they might actually make it to the other side, but they were way too heavy and naturally began to fall before they were even halfway across. Fortunately, at the last minute the antibodies that had been accompanying them swooped down and snatched them off the door, engulfing them in their amorphous forms. Ash initially screamed as the antibody that had grabbed him wrapped around him, recalling how that Rhydon they had seen earlier got killed, but when the red blob only oozed up to his neck and stopped, making no further move to digest him, he realized it was just trying to help him and relaxed. It was actually kind of comfortable…the blob felt more like a warm, soothing blanket than an all-devouring monster. "Whoa…um, thanks?" Held safely by the antibody, he looked down into the gorge, seeing the door that had carried them so far vanishing into the depths. "Huh…I'm gonna miss that thing."

"Ash, we only got it a few minutes ago," Pikachu, wrapped up in another antibody hovering to Ash's right, pointed out.

"Yeah, but it gave us a nice ride while it lasted," Ash pointed out wistfully.

"Dude, this is so cool! We're flying!" Leo squealed excitedly from an antibody floating to Ash's left, his blue head darting back and forth gleefully as he tried to take in every bit of his surroundings. "Uh…hey, these things aren't gonna eat us, right? Just carry us somewhere?"

Michael, who was riding on top of an antibody rather than being carried within it, nodded as his blob rose up to their eye level. Pipi and Mimi, with looks of confusion and worry and odd delight on their scarred faces, were ensconced in a pair of antibodies hovering behind him. "That's right. Our new friends here are going to take us to the sap vein that'll lead us to the heart of the Tree of Beginning…and the Crystal Star Badge that's hidden near there!"

"So you have total control over these things now?" Pikachu asked.

Michael nodded, his crystal gleaming. "I think so…I guess it's because I'm the Protector now. I'm still not really sure what the full extent of my powers are…Grandma told me to listen to the voices of my ancestors for guidance, and so far that's what I've been doing. They haven't guided us falsely yet, have they?"

"Seeing as how these guys are helping us rather than eating us, I for one have no problem with that," Leo said. "So, where to, O Great Protector?"

Michael closed his eyes for a moment. His crystal pulsed. "We go…that way!" He said, pointing his paw in a direction. Their crimson steeds obeyed, setting off down the length of the great indoor canyon.

"I hope it won't take us long to get there," commented Pikachu. "I know these things won't eat us, but I'm still not entirely comfortable being wrapped up in them."

"Yeah…" Ash said, again recalling how that Rhydon had been consumed earlier.

"Uh, hey, Michael…" Leo said anxiously. "Um…how would these guys feel if I did number one inside them? I…sorta have to go…"

Pikachu and Ash groaned. "Leo, why didn't you go earlier?!" Pikachu demanded.

"Where?! It's not like there were many places a turtle could do his business, considering we're inside a living rock tree that's currently being inhabited by bad guys!" Leo said. "Plus, if they didn't like me blowing bubble gum or Pikachu throwing up, how do you think they'd like me going to the bathroom in a random hallway?!"

Michael coughed nervously. "Well, uh, you might want to try holding it in a while longer. Even with my control over them, I don't think I could keep that one from eating you if you…well, you know…"

Leo sighed. "Yeah…that's what I was afraid of…"

Left behind, the spiders writhed angrily on their ledge as the heroes flew off into the distance, furious that their meal had gotten away, while the Ursarings exchanged worried looks, knowing that the Doctor was not going to be pleased to hear about this.

…

Back in the Doctor's lab…

Doctor Tarantulas was indeed not happy when he heard that Team Aurabolt had escaped. "Zey got avay?! And disabled mein tracking chips so ve couldn't follow zem? HOW?! Zey vere just a bunch of kids riding a door down a slope vhile being chased by mein spiders and hindered by traps and mein Nihilator minions! And zey got saved at ze last minute by some stupid antibodies?! Ze hell is zat?!"

"They evaded you because my grandson is with them…now that he is the Protector, he will be able to use the power of our bloodline to its fullest to do what I could not and purge the Tree of you and your kind forever," Michael's grandmother said proudly.

Enraged, the Doctor struck her hard enough to cave in her cheek and nearly tear her head off. "You told zem vhere zey needed to go! Vhere? VHERE ARE ZEY GOING? TELL ME!" She said nothing. He shook her very hard, rebreaking most of the already broken bones in her body. "TELL ME!" She just looked at him with her wide, empty eye sockets and a smug smile on her scarred face. "RAAAAHHH!" Furious, he hurled her away. She hit the wall hard enough to break her spine (again) and slumped to the ground in a heap, but did not give the Doctor the pleasure of hearing her scream.

Chobin loyally ran over and kicked her in the side, but that didn't make him or his master feel any better. "What do we do now, Chobin asked?"

The Doctor growled and tapped his two front limbs together in thought. "Zey managed to disable ze chips I put in zose twins…vhen he vas puttering about and poking at my zings, zat Squirtle said somezing about building a machine zat vould use our own satellite to reprogram and shut down ze mind control chips. Ingenious! And also razer inconvenient for us. Zat means zey can potentially deactivate all of ze chips and free our prisoners!"

"That would be a bad thing, Chobin said," Chobin said.

Tarantulas continued musing. "Hmm, but zey must not be able to do it on a large scale, or zey vould have done it already…zat means I could change ze satellite frequency to block zem out…but no, zat vould take hours! It vould be much faster to just kill all of zem at once so zat zere is no one to be saved. Hehehe, vouldn't zat be fun?"

Chobin nodded. "Oh yes, very much so!...Chobin said eagerly."

The Doctor frowned. "Hmm, but ve still have a lot of vork to do here, and it vould be difficult to do vithout local slave labor to protect us from zose meddlesome antibodies…perhaps…ah! Yes. I am having an idea. Somezing to do in case ve need to make a quick getaway. Zose slaves might still be of some use to us, yes…hehehehe!"

"Okay, Chobin said," Chobin said. "But what do we do about the getaways? We can't let them get that Star Badge, Oblivion's Shadow would be furious!...said Chobin."

Tarantulas tapped a leg on the ground nervously. "Yes, he vould be angry, vouldn't he? Hmm…zis requires some zought…eh? I am receiving a transmission."

His mechanical eye telescoped outward and projected the image of an armor-wearing Hitmontop against the wall, who promptly saluted him. "Dr. Tarantulas, sir! You'll be pleased to know that those secret weapons you requested from HQ have just arrived. You wanted me to inform you when they got here."

Chobin gasped. "The secret weapons, Chobin exclaimed?! As in…"

Tarantulas started cackling evilly. "Yes, my dear assistant…ZHOSE veapons…hehehahahaha…zis changes zings! Now zat zose special veapons are here, ve may not even NEED zhose impudent brats to lead us to ze Star Badge! Ve may be able to just TAKE IT FOR OURSELVES! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Muhahahahahahahaha!...Chobin laughed!" Chobin said.

The Hitmontop sweatdropped. "Uh, do you want me to send them to your lab, then?"

"Hmm? No, ve have no room for zem here! Send zem down to ze front line, I'll meet zem zhere. And zen…" He grinned. "Ve'll get vhat ve're here for, even if it means tearing down ze entire Tree to get it." He and Chobin threw back their heads and laughed.

"Michael…" the Espeon lying forgotten in the corner whispered. She had a horrible feeling she knew what one of those weapons was...and she wasn't at all sure her grandson and his friends would be able to survive the confrontation with it and the awful truth it represented. "Be careful…"

…

Meanwhile, in Kanjohenn…

In a flash of light, Sabrina, Father Yamiri, Latias, and Latios appeared on a platform made of solidified cumulonimbus clouds suspended thousands of feet above the ground. Fluffy white clouds stretched out on all sides towards the horizon, creating the appearance beautiful ocean that looked like it was made of marshmallows or cotton balls, wispy spires and castles and mountaintops rising and falling back into the whiteness as the wind whipped at its surface. The sun shone down brightly on them, its light only occasionally dimmed as massive cloud formations or flocks of flying Pokemon passed over it. Father Yamiri grimaced slightly and covered as much of himself as he could with his parasol, the bright sunshine burning his sensitive skin.

Right before them was another cloud formation shaped like a castle, but this one was real and solid unlike the ethereal and short-lived ones around them; a monumental structure rising into the heavens (well, higher into the heavens, since they were already there), at least thirty-four stories tall with countless windows and openings through which flying Pokemon were constantly entering and exiting on important business. The building's sides had been sculpted perfectly so that the hardened clouds that made them up created beautiful facades with exquisite landscapes, magnificent statues of noble-looking Pokemon, and soaring arches and balustrades and other wonders. It was an architectural marvel, utterly unique with none like it anywhere else in the world.

"I hate this place," Latios said grouchily. "Why's he gotta live here? It's so pretentious and ostentatious and overblown and-"

Latias rolled her eyes. "You're just jealous that he gets a palace and hundreds of servants while we live by ourselves on some dinky islands."

"I am not!" he said indignantly. It was obvious he was lying, even to those without a psychic connection.

"The Sky Tower…" murmured Yamiri. "Lair of Rayquaza, Legendary Pokemon of the Sky and, if the Dragonians are correct, the mortal incarnation of the Dragon God King rather than just his descendant. It is a most impressive dwelling, truly fit for a god."

"Hey, we're descendants of deities too. How come we don't get a place like this?" Latios griped. Latias sighed in exasperation at her brother's behavior.

"Because you prefer to live somewhere most people don't know about, so as to dissuade the unscrupulous from finding you?" Sabrina suggested.

Latios sweatdropped. "Oh, right…" Latias giggled.

They approached the looming pillar-framed entryway to the Tower. A huge relief of Rayquaza, the Tower's ruler, decorated the top of the gateway arch. Latios grunted at it. The two door guards, a pair of immense armored Flygon, stood to attention as the small party approached. "Halt! None may enter the demesnes of the Dragon King without permiss—oh, it's you, Miss Latias. How are you doing today?"

Latias waved to them. "Hey Bruce, hey Donovan. How are you?"

_Oh, so now you're on a first-name basis with the servants?_ Latios said telepathically to his sister in an aggrieved tone of thought. She pointedly ignored him.

"Oh, pretty good, nothing to complain about," Donovan said. "Haven't had any real trouble for a while. There aren't really many Pokemon stupid enough to try and attack this place, so it can get a little boring just standing guard all day."

"Still, it's a living," said Bruce. "So, I take it you're here to see His Majesty? I don't recall you having a lunch date or anything with him this week…"

"They're lunch _appointments,_ not dates," Latias said in embarrassment as her brother glared (and thought) daggers at her, frustrated that she hung out with the clearly (to him) distrustful and disreputable Rayquaza on a regular basis. She thought back poison-tipped arrows. He relented, at least for the moment. "And no, we didn't have anything scheduled for this week, but Miss Sabrina and Father Yamiri here just came over to our island from Pokemon Square to warn us about some grave threat to the planet, and they say that we need Rayquaza's help to stop it."

_For some reason,_ Latios grumbled in his head, knowing not to speak ill of Rayquaza anywhere within earshot of his servants. They were rather devoted to him, almost religiously so. (Well, considering that they were all Dragonians, that was probably to be expected…)

Bruce and Donovan frowned. "A threat to the planet? What kind of threat?" Bruce asked.

"Another meteor thing?" Donovan asked. "Some other kind of cosmic phenomena? Or something a little more down to Earth?"

"An ancient evil seeks to destroy Pokemon Square and unleash an even _older_ evil upon the Omniverse," Sabrina explained.

"And if we are to counteract that evil, we will need the kind of power only the descendant of the Dragon God King can provide," Yamiri continued.

"Hmm, that does sound serious…" murmured the concerned Bruce.

"His Majesty is busy in meetings right now, but I think he'll want to hear about this enough to skip out on them…especially if Latias is involved," Donovan said with a wink that caused Latias to blush and made Latios darken and tremble with righteous elder sibling overprotective fury. The Flygon craned his long neck over his shoulder and shouted into the building, "Hey, Missy!"

A Misdreavus wearing fake cat ears on her head for some reason appeared out of nowhere. "Yeah, what is it? Ooh, hi Latias! How are you?"

"Oh, I'm fine, thanks. How are you and Nuken doing?" Latias asked.

"Pretty good, we just had a date last night which went _really_ well and we got to talking about-" Missy paused, noticing that Bruce and Donovan were glaring at her. "Uh, right, time for gossip later. What's up?"

"Miss Latias and her friends here say they need to see His Majesty about a dire threat to the world or something like that," said Bruce. "And that only he can help them stop it."

Missy's eyes widened in alarm. "Is that so? Hold on, I'll be right back." She vanished.

"Who was that?" Yamiri asked Latias. "A friend of yours?"

Latias nodded. "Sort of. That's Missy, she works here as a secretary and administrative assistant. She's currently dating Nuken the Shedinja, Rayquaza's majordomo and commanding general of his army."

"He's also kind of a jerk," Latios grumbled.

"He is not!" Latias said indignantly, though privately she admitted her brother might be right on that point.

"Well, he _can_ be kind of one at times," Bruce said.

"But don't tell him we'd say that, he'd tan our hides for sure!" Donovan said anxiously.

"Ah," said Yamiri. "Why does she wear…"

"She was a feline when alive, and still likes to think of herself as one," Sabrina intuited.

Latias nodded. "Yeah, that's pretty much it."

The subject of their conversation reappeared. "Okay, Nuky-Nuk was really annoyed that you showed up without sending a message in advance because now he has to completely shuffle His Majesty's appointments and reschedule some meetings and put up with a bunch of annoying dignitaries for a while longer and hold back some banquets he had planned and all sorts of other details that really aren't as important as he thinks they are, but basically the King can see you now."

"Cool," said Latias.

"Great," grumbled Latios.

"Then let's go in, shall we?" Yamiri said.

"This should be a most productive meeting…" Sabrina said.

"Is that a prophecy?" asked Latios.

The Xatu shook her head. "No, just optimism and common sense. If I have a prophecy, I'll let you know."

They followed Missy into the Tower.

…

Meanwhile, in Turtle Town…

Leo's parents were sitting on the front lawn of their house, sunbathing and enjoying the autumn breeze. "Mmm, sure is a nice day today, isn't it dear?" Leo's mother, a Torkoal, asked her husband.

Leo's father, a Wartortle skull, nodded in agreement from where he sat on a nearby footstool. "Yes, much nicer than that drafty old castle. I'd almost forgotten what it felt like to feel the sun on my skin…er, bone."

"I'm sorry we haven't been able to find a suitable body for you," the Torkoal said apologetically to her mate.

"It's all right," the skull assured her. "To be honest, I've been like this for so long I can barely even remember what it's like to have a body. I can wait a while longer." He chuckled. "One of the advantages of being like this is that I don't have a spot on my back I can never scratch!" He paused. "Of course, now if any part of me itches, I have absolutely no way of scratching it…at all…"

"New Mama! New Papa!" a pair of loud, shrill voices screamed.

Leo's mother sighed. "Oh dear, what now?"

Leo's father groaned. "Can't they play by themselves for a few minutes without getting themselves in trouble?"

Two of Tiama's monstrous children ran over to Leo's parents. After grieving their mother's death, they had declared that everyone in the village was now their 'New Mama' or 'New Papa.' Naturally, this made the villagers confused since they didn't know which of them the baby dragons were calling for whenever they wanted attention, but the Gibles seemed to be able to tell everyone apart well enough to know which 'New Papa' or 'New Mama' they wanted at a moment's notice. And right now they wanted the parents who also happened to be Leo's Mama and Papa. "New Mama, Iggy said my bow looks stupid!" one of the Gibles, Wendy, the only female of Tiama's brood whined.

"Well it does!" the other Gible, Iggy, said, sticking his tongue out at his sister. "You never need bows when we live with Dead Mama! Why you need one now?"

"Because it make me look pretty!" Wendy said, sticking her nose in the air.

"She's right, it does," Leo's mother agreed.

"And also helps us tell her apart from her siblings…" Leo's father muttered. "Iggy, apologize to your sister. She didn't say your glasses looked stupid, did she?"

Iggy grabbed his glasses self-consciously. After he had been adopted along with his siblings, it had come to their attention that his vision was poor, so the village optometrist had made him a pair of extra-large glasses to help them see better. Iggy liked them, but was always worried that other people thought he looked stupid in them. "No…" he admitted quietly.

"Then it's not very nice of you to make fun of her bow, now is it?" Leo's mother pointed out. "Apologize to your sister."

Iggy sighed. "Okay…me sorry, Wendy. Your bow not stupid."

Wendy stuck her tongue out at her brother. "Told you so."

"There, I'm glad that ended well," Leo's dad said cheerfully. "Now move out of the way, kids, you're blocking the sun."

Leo's mother frowned. "That's not the kids…that looks like…a Meowth-shaped balloon?"

"Muhahahahaha!" a trio of annoying voices laughed, causing everyone in town to look up as the Meowth-shaped balloon descended towards them.

"Prepare for trouble!" shouted a shrieky vaguely feminine voice.

"And make it double!" added a squeaky vaguely masculine voice.

"To protect the world from devastation!"

"To unite all peoples within our nation!"

"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"

"To extend our reach to the stars above!"

"Jessie!" cried an ugly Dustox.

"James!" cried a sort of cute Mime Jr.

"Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light!" Jessie announced, posing with her wings spread out.

"Surrender now or prepare to fight fight fight!" James added, posing with a rose in one hand to try and look debonair. (It didn't work.)

"Meowth! That's right!" said Mickey the Meowth, popping up between his partners.

"Woooobbuffet!" shouted Wabbaku.

"Chime, Chime!" chimed Chimecho.

"Why did you do that?" Buzz asked the Wobbuffet shaman.

"…I'm not sure," said the confused Wabbaku. Gardenia swooned, thinking his battle cry had been dreamy.

Everyone stared at the newcomers in disbelief. "Uh…I'm sorry…who did you say you were again?" asked the confused Mayor.

The thieves facefaulted. "Weren't you listening to our motto?!" Jessie snarled.

"We're Team Rocket, the greatest criminals the world has ever known!" James bragged.

"And we're here to steal all your stuff! So hand it over, or else!" Mickey sneered.

"…New Mama, can we eat them?" Wendy asked Leo's mother.

"Mmm…maybe," the Torkoal said.

"We'll need to soften them up first. Hey, boys!" Leo's father whistled. "Get on out here, we've got a fight on our hands!" The ground shook as the dozens of skeleton warriors that had been left in the town's service appeared, leaving the homes of their families, coming in from the fields where they had been working, or emerging out from the dirt where they had been taking their naps. Within moments, the town's main square was full of the undead, all of whom glared balefully up at the Rockets' balloon.

Mickey's jaw dropped. "Holy smokes, will ya look at all dem bones?!"

"Eeeek! Hold me!" James squealed, clutching Mickey in terror.

"Th-they look really scary…" whimpered Gardenia.

"Chiiiiii!" Chimecho chimed stupidly.

"Wabbaku, you never mentioned they had an army of ghouls!" the frightened Jessie yelled at the shaman.

"Hmm…the spirits must not have mentioned that. Sorry," Wabbaku said with a shrug, hiding a wicked grin.

"I will protect you, my queen!" Buzz declared valiantly.

"Shut up, Buzz. Let's get out of here!" Jessie yelled.

Mickey nodded. "Yeah, dere's no way we can beat dat many dead guys!" He opened the blast valve, increasing the amount of gas flowing to the balloon's burner and causing their conveyance to start rising away from the town.

Unfortunately for the Rockets, Turtle Town's occupants weren't willing to let them get away so easily. A skeletal Marowak threw a Bonemerang at the balloon, puncturing the envelope and causing gas and hot air to leak out. The hapless hoodlums squealed in alarm as they started descending rapidly, unable to stop themselves no matter how much extra juice Mickey poured into the burner. A skeletal Primeape, Granbull, Grotle, and another one of the Gabite kids named Morton jumped up and grabbed the bottom of the basket, pulling it down towards the waiting bony claws of the undead below. The Rockets screamed as the skeletons swarmed over the sides of their basket and engulfed them in their bony, jangling mass…

Except for Wabbaku, who was grinning in anticipation of finally being able to clear his debt to Jessie.

…

Meanwhile, in Volcano Cave…

Before Team Nightshade was a sealed door set in the base of an enormous statue of some kind of big fiery monster thing that towered above them and whose horns scraped the ceiling. Tightly clutched in one of the statue's claws was a crystal sphere containing the key to the doorway, made of some kind of strange material that Ghosts couldn't phase through. (Gary had tried.) Set before the statue and the doorway was a pool of lava with a smaller statue of a Charizard rising from the center of it. This statue, through some kind of ancient mechanism, was capable of spitting fireballs at periodic intervals, which streamed across the room, flew over a tile with ornate borders and an X on it, and struck the back wall. Lying next to this tile was a racket made of gold with jewels set into its frame and literally golden threads stretching across its hoop. Scorch marks dotted the face of the giant monster statue and the wall it was carved from. Carvings of Pokemon and humans (at least, they thought they were humans) swinging an implement similar to the racket at fireballs spewed by creatures resembling the Charizard-shaped statue covered the walls.

Gary hefted the racket and stared at it for a moment, deep in thought. He rubbed his chin as the Charizard statue spat another fireball, which flew past him and exploded against the wall behind him. "Hmm."

After a while, he turned to his team, a wicked gleam in his eye. "Okay," he said. "I believe I've solved this puzzle."

"All right," said Mary, wiping away some sweat and swigging down more of their water. It was getting hotter and hotter the further they went into the depths of Mt. Boyleland, and it was becoming harder to stay hydrated. "What do we do?"

Gary threw the racket to her. "Put that in our swag—er, tool box," he amended quickly when she glared at him. "And Evan? Attack that sphere thing!"

"Okay," said Evan, winding back his tail and hurling Gooey at the orb.

"Waaaaaaahhhh!" Gooey wailed as he flew through the air and slammed headfirst into the sphere, flattening his entire body mass against it and causing his tentacles to splay out in all directions. An audible crack echoed throughout the chamber, but since Gooey didn't have any bones that meant he must have broken the sphere with the rock-hard bumps on his head. This turned out to be the case as the Octillery slid off the sphere and fell to the ground below (just barely missing the lava pit in the process); a latticework of cracks formed on the surface of the orb and a few pieces splintered off.

Gary frowned. "I actually meant for you to spit acid at it, but that worked too."

"Whatever," said Evan, not really caring.

Gary shrugged. "Oh well. Great work, Gooey! That's using your head!"

"I hate you all," Gooey moaned from where he had fallen.

"That's nice," said Gary, not really listening. He levitated up to the sphere and pried at the cracks, pulling away more broken pieces until he had opened a hole wide enough for him to squeeze his arm into and grab the key. "Got it!" he said, holding the key triumphantly over his head.

"Good, then open that door so we can get out of here," Mary said, drinking more water.

"You realize it'll probable be even hotter in the next room, right?" Evan asked her.

She scowled. "Yeah, I know…" She shook her water bottle, but no more than a few drops spilled out of it and into her mouth. "Crap, we're out of water."

"No problem," Evan said, slithering over to Gooey and wrapping the octopus up in his coils before he could escape. He then dragged the Octillery back to the Medicham and turned him about so he was facing her. "Now, sssay 'ah!'"

"Huhaaahhhhhhhh!" Mary screamed as Evan squeezed Gooey and caused him to spit a stream of water into her face. "Cut it out, Evan!"

"You're sssupposssed to catch it with your mouth, not your faccce!" Evan criticized her, easing up slightly on Gooey so that the stream became less powerful and Mary was able to gargle it down easily.

"I would say there was something sort of gross about that if it didn't make me feel refreshed," Mary said as she wiped herself off, the water dripping off her almost immediately evaporating due to the intense heat.

"Oh, the agony…" Gooey moaned. "Octilleries aren't supposed to be treated like this…"

"You're sssuch a whiner," Evan said unsympathetically.

Meanwhile, Gary had inserted the key into the lock and used it to open the door in the base of the statue. "Now we can proceed! Onward!" he declared.

They ventured through the gateway. Maren, who had been observing them from the shadows, sweatdropped. "…Are these guys heroes or sociopaths?!" she wondered.

The answer, of course, was that they were both; Team Nightshade was made up of heroic sociopaths. She would have to get used to it if she was going to keep tailing them. That didn't mean she had to like it, though. With a sigh, she fluttered out from her hiding place and followed the team through the gateway, making sure, as always, to stay out of view.

…

And a nice big long chapter to make up for the last one being so short. What did you think? Lots of action and drama in this bit, wasn't there?


	19. Broken

And here's the next chapter. I think this one will be what they call a 'wham episode'. Or is that spoiling things? Oh well.

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters that don't belong to me.

…

The antibodies dropped Team Aurabolt and their passengers off on a ledge next to another sap vein. After Leo relieved himself, Michael took them into the vein and led them through an incredibly complex network of tunnels and passageways that led them deeper and deeper into the Tree of Beginning's innards. They probably would have gotten lost forever and died wandering about the labyrinthine caverns if Michael wasn't being guided by the voices of Protectors long past. After what seemed like an eternity of trekking (made worse by Leo's constant complaints that his feet were hurting and his asthma was acting up) they reached what at first glance appeared to be a dead end in a very narrow tunnel with a low ceiling but on closer inspection was an almost invisible sealed doorway designed so that it would blend in with the surrounding rock and crystal.

"This is it," Michael told his friends as they caught up with him, Pipi and Mimi anxiously staying close to his sides so they wouldn't lose track of him and get lost.

"What is it?" Pikachu asked.

"Looks like a door," said Ash, his back starting to ache from how low he had to stoop to not hit the ceiling of this dead end.

Michael nodded. "It is. This is the back door to the chamber where the Tree of Beginning resides. It can only be opened by the Protector of the Tree, and is so well hidden by the maze of surrounding caves that no Nihilator could possibly find it without guidance from the aforementioned Protector."

"You're telling me! I was convinced we were going in circles for a while back there…" said Leo.

"So that door leads to the Tree's heart?" Ash asked. "The legendary golems should be in there, right?"

Michael nodded again. "Yes, protecting the Tree's heart from those who would seek to destroy it…and one other thing, as well."

"The Star Badge," Pikachu guessed.

Michael nodded. "I didn't know before, but I do now. The Star Badge is hidden in a cave that can only be accessed by passing through the Tree's heart."

"Then it's no wonder the Regis retreated here to protect the thing," Ash said.

"Well, that and to keep the Nihilators from stopping the Tree's heart," Leo pointed out.

Pikachu clutched the handle of his sword reflexively. "Will the Regis give us any trouble, Michael?"

Michael shook his head. "When they see that you're with me, they should let us through."

"And if not, we'll just pound them again," said Ash.

Michael gave Ash a startled look. "You've met and fought them before?!"

Ash blinked. "Yeah, in an ancient ruin back home. Did we forget to mention that?"

"I think you did," said Leo.

"When…how…you met the Regi Trio?! And DEFEATED them?!" Michael cried. "But that's impossible! What were they even doing in Kanjohenn, they're supposed to be guarding the Tree 24/7!"

Ash shrugged. "Search me."

"We can ask them when we see them," Pikachu suggested.

"Sounds good to me," said Leo. "So, Michael my mon, open that thing up!"

"But…I…" Michael sighed. "You all never cease to astonish me. Are all outsiders as strange and well-traveled as you?"

"Pretty much all the ones I know," said Ash, thinking about all the…interesting friends and neighbors they had back in Pokemon Square.

Michael shook his head. "Whatever. We need to press forward." Gently shaking Pipi and Mimi off, he walked over to the door and stood before it. The jewel on his forehead gleamed and suddenly light flashed along the edges of the door. With a rumble and the grind of stone against stone, the door retracted into the wall, revealing a short passageway leading into a larger chamber. "Follow me," Michael said, entering the corridor. "If they see me first, they'll probably be less inclined to attack you."

"Darn, I could use the EXP…" Leo muttered. Pikachu and Ash rolled their eyes.

They followed Michael into the new tunnel, Pipi and Mimi frantically running after them so they wouldn't be left behind them. The door rumbled and slid shut behind them, which startled Ash and Pikachu but nobody else. "Why did it do that?" the Lucario wondered.

Michael blinked. "Don't most secret doors automatically close after you've passed through them?"

"The majority of the ones we've used haven't," said Pikachu. "Well, not that we've actually used many secret doors…"

"Maybe it's because we've got a boss fight coming up and we're not supposed to be able to escape?" Leo suggested.

"A what?" asked a confused Pikachu.

"A boss fight. You know, a battle against a single incredibly powerful opponent who may or may not be the main enemy of a dungeon," Leo explained. "Tiama would've been the boss of the last dungeon, if we hadn't talked her to death rather than fighting her."

"Oh, I see," said Ash. "So that means the legendary Pokemon we fought at the end of most of the dungeons we've been to must have been 'bosses' as well, right Pikachu?"

"I suppose…" Pikachu said grudgingly, disliking applying Leo's video game terms to real life. It only seemed to encourage the Squirtle's scarily accurate assumptions about reality…

When they reached the end of the tunnel, they came out into a room so magnificent it took their breath away. It was as if someone had hollowed out an enormous geode and turned it into a sacred place. The walls were made of glittering faceted crystal which reflected their faces back at them a millionfold. Twisted veins and pillars of delicate crystal ran from the floor to the ceiling. In the center of the room was an enormous mass of blue and purple crystals which pulsated and beat and was shooting a beam of green light upward into a smaller crystalline receptacle on the ceiling directly above it. Energy flowed outward from that receptacle through the walls, causing traceries and veins between the glittering facets to glow green as well and bathe the cavern in a warm emerald light. Smaller masses of crystal jutted from the floor here and there, absorbing the light generated by the central crystal and sending it deeper into the tree through their subterranean roots.

"Wooooooow," Leo gasped in awe. He pulled out his camera and took a picture.

"It's…beautiful…" whispered an amazed Pikachu.

Ash stiffened, a strange sensation coming over him. "Something's…strange…this feels familiar…like I've been here before."

"You mean déjà vu?" Leo asked.

"No, something's strange…this feels familiar…like I've been here before," Ash repeated redundantly.

"Ah," Pikachu said with a sweatdrop.

"We've got company!" Leo alerted them as three large Pokemon emerged from behind the crystals and stalked ominously towards them.

The trio were massive, each over five feet tall and looking like they weighed several hundred pounds each; all of them vaguely humanoid figures with seven glowing eyes arranged in peculiar patterns as the only distinguishing features on their otherwise blank faces. One was made of stone, one was made of ice, and the third and tallest was made of metal. This silver and black beast's red eyes flashed angrily as it approached the group. "Who are you that dares intrude in the innermost sanctum of the Tree of…oh, it's you, Michael!" the beast known as Registeel said in a voice that rang like freshly forged iron, his anger fleeing as he recognized the Eevee. "I was not expecting to see you here."

"And look, he brought company!" the stone golem, Regirock, said in a voice as thick and gravelly as a mountain, pointing a shapeless limb at the non-residents of the Tree. "They look oddly familiar somehow."

"Hi," the frozen golem, Regice, said in a voice as steady and calm as an endless glacier as she waved to the heroes.

"Uh, hey there," said Ash, waving back.

"Dude, actual legendary Pokemon," Leo gasped, geeking out. "This is so awesome! I am not worthy!" He took a picture.

"You probably aren't," Regirock said. Registeel hit him. "Ow!" Regice giggled.

Michael formally bowed to the three guardians. "Esteemed giants of stone, steel, and ice, we bring greetings…as well as bad tidings, I fear."

"That crystal on your brow…and the condition poor Pipi and Mimi are in," Registeel said in alarm, suddenly putting everything together. "Something terrible has happened to your grandmother, hasn't it? I thought I sensed it earlier, the passing of Protectorship from one generation to the next."

"I thought that was just gas," Regirock said.

"We don't get gas," Registeel said, giving the stone golem an exasperated look.

"Maybe _you_ don't," Regirock said stubbornly, crossing his arms. Registeel facepalmed. Regice giggled. The others sweatdropped.

"Are they always like this?" Pikachu whispered to Michael.

"Unfortunately," the Eevee whispered back. Addressing the golems, Michael said, "Registeel, as far as I know, my grandmother is still alive, though I don't know for how long. She passed the power and mantle of Protector of the Tree of Beginning to me and tasked me with ridding the Nihilators from our home once and for all! But…I don't know how to do that. The voices of my ancestors just told us to come here. Why?"

"A good question," said Registeel. "But first, let me pose another. Who are your friends here? I think I recognize two of them…"

"We're Ash, Pikachu, and Leo of Team Aurabolt," Ash said, trying to jog their memory.

"We fought you in Buried Relic a few months ago," Pikachu reminded them.

"Well, they did, I wasn't there. I'm new," Leo added. "But I'm totally cool with meeting you guys now! Can I get your autographs later?"

Regirock and Regice looked at their hands or lack of self-consciously. "I don't think we can hold pens…" Regice said unhappily.

"Ah, I remember you now," Registeel announced, bowing slightly to Ash and Pikachu. "It is good to see you again, young Rescue Team. You fought well the last time we met. I apologize for not remembering you, all you Pokemon with faces look the same to us."

"That's fine, you guys kind of look the same to us too," Ash said. Pikachu facepalmed.

"I take offense at that!" Regirock said angrily.

"Not now, Regirock," Registeel said. "What brings you young ones to a fell place such as this? Once our humble Tree was a…well, not exactly a welcome place for strangers, but certainly safer than it is now."

"We're here for the same thing the Nihilators are," Pikachu said.

"That Star Badge thing you're guarding!" Leo said.

The golems reacted badly to this. "What?! Impossible!" Registeel bellowed.

"We aren't giving that to you!" Regice said furiously. "You shouldn't even know about that! Did you make Michael tell you where it was?!"

"Mew'd be pissed if we let you take it!" Regirock agreed. "We might as well just be giving it to those other guys then, we're not supposed to let ANYONE touch that thing, its dangerous! In the wrong hands, heck, in ANY hands it could potentially end the world! That thing can NEVER leave here!"

"Its okay guys, Grandma said they could have it!" Michael said quickly before any violence could occur.

The golems calmed down. "Oh, well, never mind then," Registeel said.

"Okay," said Regice.

"Well, if that's the case…sure, you can have it. Why didn't you say so in the first place?" Regirock asked. Team Aurabolt facefaulted.

"Some guardians…" Leo muttered under his breath.

"Speaking of which, why exactly did we run into you guys in Buried Relic back in Kanjohenn anyway? Shouldn't you have been here guarding the Tree?" Pikachu asked.

Michael frowned. "Hey yeah, I was going to ask the same thing."

"Oh, we were on vacation," Registeel said casually.

The others stared at him blankly. "Vacation," Pikachu repeated in disbelief.

Registeel nodded. "Yes, we get one every five hundred years. It's not easy guarding something like this place 24-7-52-100-5! We need a break every now and then."

"So we leave Substitutes to make it look like we're still here and go around the world on a tour of ancient ruins and stuff," said Regirock. "Since we were around when most of them were first built, it brings back all sorts of memories."

"Like Paris," Regice said wistfully. "Remember Paris, Regirock?"

"Yeah…too bad that place got nuked. Like everywhere else. Stupid cataclsym…" Regirock grumbled. The others sweatdropped.

"I don't know whether to be comforted or disappointed by their utter…normalcy," Leo said deadpan.

"Disillusionment with your legends is an occupational hazard in our line of work," Pikachu said sympathetically. "I'd always heard from my dad that Zapdos and Raikou, despite being the gods who helped bless my sacred sword, were sort of selfish jerks, but let me tell you…I did _not_ expect them to be as big assholes as they were! Most of their siblings, too."

"And don't get me started on Ho-Oh…man, did that guy have a superiority complex!" Ash complained. "Just because he's immortal, has everlasting beauty, and can resurrect the dead (and himself), he thinks he's better than everyone else…and then there's Groudon and Kyogre, but, well, they're a whole other kettle of Goldeen."

"But _some_ legendary Pokemon are still okay, aren't they?" Leo asked a little desperately.

His senior teammates nodded. "Yeah, Lugia's a great guy," Ash recalled. "And so's Celebi, Jirachi, Latias and Latios, Rayquaza…"

"Some legends have power go to their heads, others are fine with it," Pikachu assured Leo. "And while these guys may be a little…strange, at least they're not enormous jerks."

"I heard that!" Regirock yelled.

"It was a compliment!" Pikachu yelled back.

"Oh. Never mind," Regirock said, mollified.

"Don't you think it's irresponsible to ditch your sacred duty twice a millennium and go on a sightseeing tour?!" Michael asked incredulously.

"Everyone needs a little time off now and then," Regirock said defensively.

"And it's not like anything bad's ever happened while we were away," Regice said. "Well…all right, there was that one time, but it worked out okay in the end…" The non-legendaries sweatdropped again.

"It's really not as bad as it sounds," Registeel assured them. "Our Substitute copies aren't too bright, but can be programmed to do just enough to be effective. All they need to do is look intimidating, stand around a bit, and beat up anyone who gets too close to restricted areas."

"It's amazing we have brains this sophisticated, considering how little they're needed in this line of work," Regirock commented.

"What does sophisticated mean?" Regice asked.

"I'm not actually sure, I was hoping you knew," Regirock confessed. Registeel facepalmed and the heroes sweatdropped.

"Right…anyway," Pikachu said, trying to get everyone back on track. "The Star Badge?"

"Hmm? Oh, yes. It's in a small chamber underneath this one, only accessible to us three golems and the Protector of the Tree, so it should be no problem for you to get it," said Registeel, pointing to a small tunnel in the cave wall. "You must retrieve it and return to us quickly, for without it we will be unable to rid the Nihilators from the Tree of Beginning forever."

"How exactly are we supposed to do that again?" Michael asked. "My…the voices weren't clear, they just said we had to come here. How can we get rid of the Nihilators?"

"Normally it would be a very difficult task, but since you have an Aura Guardian with you, it should be simplicity itself," Registeel assured him. "By combining the power of the Protector with the power of Aura, you will be able to unleash an Aura Purge which will eliminate any invaders within the Tree—in other words, the Nihilators!"

They stared at him blankly. "An Aura what now?" asked a confused Ash.

"That sounds more like a movement intended to wipe out all Aura users rather than an actual technique," Leo commented. "Or maybe I'm just thinking of the Jedi Purge…yeah…lousy Palpatine and his Galactic Empire." Pikachu sweatdropped.

"What are you talking about?" asked the puzzled Michael.

Registeel blinked. Er, sort of. "You…don't know what an Aura Purge is?"

"No," they all said.

"But you're an Aura Guardian!" Regirock insisted.

"It's your job to know that sort of thing!" Regice agreed.

Ash laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his head. "I'm actually just a Guardian-in-training…there isn't anyone back home to teach me how to use my Aura, so I'm learning it all from a book."

The golems groaned. "Well, that's just peachy…" Regirock grumbled.

Registeel sighed. "This is irritating, but only a minor setback. We cannot use Aura ourselves, or we would have rid ourselves of this current menace long ago, but we have seen it performed often enough that we should be able to guide you through it."

"What exactly is the Aura Purge?" asked Ash.

"And what do I have to do with it?" asked Michael.

"The Aura Purge is a special technique Aura Guardians can perform that sends a wave of pure cleansing Aura through someone's body to purify their Auras as well as destroying all foreign and harmful entities within them," Registeel explained. "It can be used to heal the sick by destroying viruses, exorcise evil spirits, banish false memories and thoughts implanted in the brain to snap people out of mind control, and-"

Ash gasped. "Cure Shadow Pokemon!"

"Why yes, precisely," Registeel said, sounding pleased. "So you _have_ heard of it!"

"Well, no, but now that I think about it, my book mentioned something that sounded like that as being one of the remedies for Shadow Pokemon," Ash explained. "It said that by sending a pure Aura wave into a Shadow Pokemon's body, you can temporarily eliminate their dark Aura and rid their mind of the tainted and false memories that were used to seal their hearts off. With the ability to think clearly again, they can rationally look back at their actions, hopefully realize what they're doing is wrong, and reopen the doors to their hearts so they can be normal again."

"Cool," said Leo.

"Fascinating!" said Pikachu. "But…you haven't learned that technique yet?"

Ash shook his head. "It's pretty advanced, I'm still working on the basics. The book also said that it might not always work, depending on how deep the Shadow Pokemon is in the darkness…and depending on the individual, if they chose to become Shadows in the first place, they probably will reject the chance to become normal again since they might be happier being evil. And sadly, the Purge only works on Pokemon who've chosen or been coerced into becoming Shadows…an even _more_ complex technique is necessary to save those who were forced into it. I don't even know how to begin learning that one…"

"How does this 'Purge' help us with our current situation?" asked the confused Michael.

"Duh!" said Leo. "Aura Purge rids a body of foreign stuff, right? Well, the Tree's a giant organism, so…what do you think would happen if we used a Purge on it?"

Ash gasped. "Of course, it would destroy all the Nihilators!"

"Took you long enough," said Regirock. Registeel hit him.

Pikachu frowned. "And us too, we're not exactly part of the Tree's ecosystem…"

"Don't worry, you'll be safe so long as you stick close to the Aura Guardian and the Protector," Regice assured him.

"That still doesn't help us, since I don't know how to do this Purge," Ash said.

"And I still don't understand why you need my power or the Star Badge," Michael added.

"As to the first part, we'll walk you through the process," Registeel said. "As to the second…well, it's like this. Aura Purge has only been used in the past whenever we happened to have an Aura Guardian nearby, since they're the only ones who can do the Purge, and only when there was absolutely no other way to save the Tree. You see, since the Tree of Beginning is a _really_ big organism, to generate enough power to heal it, the Aura Guardians had to give up all of their Aura, which…well, kills them."

They gasped, while Ash stiffened, getting another feeling of déjà vu. His pupils shrunk, and suddenly he found himself in the middle of another flashback. He was standing in the same heart chamber they were in now, except that instead of his friends and the golems being there, the only people were a tall, older human with a cape and a really cool hat talking to…no. It couldn't be. Was that…Mew? And there was something weird and grayish about them. Was this even a memory at all, or an illusion of some sort? He realized to his surprise that there were in fact four other people: himself, Pikachu, a Lucario and a human woman with an orange visor and black hair up in a pair of long, thick pigtails. They were in color for some reason…what was going on?

"Mew," the caped human said in a determined tone. "I realize you and this Tree are one. Please! Take the power of my Aura and save the people!"

"Mew…" Mew said somewhat reluctantly. The Lucario watched on in disbelief.

The human thrust a hand out. "Now!" he cried. "Accept the Aura!" A blue sphere of Aura energy formed in his palm. "The power of Aura…will prevail!" he said, wincing as the sphere grew larger and larger until it enveloped Mew. He grimaced as his clothes rustled and all his power flowed from his bofu into the ever-increasing sphere. Mew began to glow, and the sphere exploded outwards in a tremendous flash of light as the human cried out in pain.

There was a flicker, and time seemed to jump forward several minutes. The Mew was gone, but the humans and the Lucario remained. The caped man staggered backwards, energy crackling around him, and collapsed against a large mass of crystal growing near the wall. The Lucario was there as well, still in color, but sitting on the ground now. It also looked like he was in pain, and glowing for some reason. The female human was standing nearby, and Pikachu was on Ash's shoulder. The human grunted and gasped as he tried to stabilize himself. "Lucario…forgive me…"

"I do, Master…" the Lucario said in a deep voice, but it didn't look as if the human heard him. Were either of them really there?

The human continued. "Please understand…I had to seal you inside the staff…I knew if I didn't, you would have followed me here and suffered the same fate. I only wish you could have known the real story."

"I understand!" the Lucario cried.

"One day you will be released, in a distant and more peaceful time. What will it be like? I wonder if-" He gasped and started grunting in pain as more energy crackled around his body, and particles of light streamed off his form. "I have…no regrets…my journey…has been good. I served a beautiful queen…and you and I shared many adventures!" He smiled and leaned back against the crystals as more particles flew off him. "Those memories…will always be with me."

The Lucario clenched his eyes shut to hold back tears. "Master…if only you could hear me…I want to tell you how much you mean to me!"

The man started to fade away. "Lucario…farewell. You were more to me than just my student. You were…my closest friend."

"I feel the same…" the Lucario whispered.

"Who knows? It could be…one day…we will see each other again. I hope so…my friend." The man closed his eyes shut and vanished completely. The grayness vanished as well, and the room resumed its regular coloration.

The Lucario burst into tears. "Aaron, my friend…I'm sorry I failed you…"

Ash knelt down, grabbed Lucario's hand, and turned the jackal towards him. "That's not true!" he protested. (Was it him doing the talking or his past self?) "You proved you're a true Guardian of Aura, like Sir Aaron!"

"Pika!" Pikachu agreed. (Why couldn't he seem to understand his brother and best friend in any of these flashbacks? He thought he had heard something about most humans being unable to understand Pokemon. Had he been one of them? He couldn't imagine not being able to hear the words of his closest friends in this world…)

"Thank you, Ash," the Lucario said gratefully. Ash nodded. The Aura Pokemon gasped and fell back as energy started crackling across his body too, and he slumped against the crystal his human friend had died on.

Ash didn't let go of his friend's hand. "Lucario! Please hang on! You can't leave us yet!"

The Lucario grunted in pain as particles started flowing off his body, looked at Ash sadly, then shut his eyes and turned his head away. "I have to go, Ash…" He started to fade away. "Aaron…is waiting for me…" As Ash and Pikachu watched in horror, the Lucario transformed into a sphere of Aura which then merged with another sphere that arose from the crystal mass, the two swelling up in a blinding flash of light…

Which snapped Ash out of his trance. "Ash! Ash! Are you all right?!" Pikachu asked, shaking his brother anxiously.

"Wh-what?" Ash stammered.

"What was that?" asked the confused Michael.

"Is he schizo or something?" asked Regirock. Registeel hit him. "Ow!"

"Maybe he fell asleep standing up? That happens to me sometimes," Regice said.

"He must have had another flashback!" Leo guessed.

"A what?" Registeel asked.

"Ash has amnesia," Pikachu explained. "He doesn't remember who he was before he came to Pokemon Square. Occasionally he has brief flashes of memory triggered by certain places or people that give him a little more insight into his past. What did you see this time, Ash?"

Ash frowned, trying to gather his thoughts. "I…I think…" He frowned. "No, I _know_ that I've been here before!" He looked at the golems desperately. "You guys! You've been here forever, right? Do you ever remember seeing me in this chamber before?"

The golems gave each other puzzled looks. "I don't think so," said Regirock.

"We've had many Aura Guardians and Lucarios in here, but none named Ash," Regice said.

"I wasn't a Lucario, I was a human then," Ash said. "It's kind of complicated. Do you remember ever seeing a human named Ash in this room or anywhere in the Tree of Beginning?"

"No," Regirock said bluntly.

"I don't think so," said Regice.

"It's possible, but…humans _do_ all look the same to us," Registeel said. "You say you used to be a human? What did you look like? Any distinguishing features?"

"I was…" Ash paused, realizing for the first time he wasn't actually sure what he had looked like as a human. Had he ever seen himself in a mirror in his flashbacks? He wasn't certain… "I don't know…" he finished miserably.

Leo scratched his head. "Well, that sucks."

"You were here before? How could that be possible?" asked the confused Michael.

"It can't be," said Pikachu. "This is the first time Ash has been in our world, since he comes from another one…" He frowned. "Unless…Ash, do you think you were here before, but just forgot about it?"

"That's possible," Leo said. "Happens all the time."

Ash shook his head. "No, I…I don't think so. You were there, Pikachu, or…the Pikachu I knew, anyway. And another human. And…" He frowned. "Wait. There were other humans there! Though I think only one was real…" He relayed what he had seen to them. "Does any of that sound familiar to you guys?" he asked the golems.

They shrugged. "Lots of Aura Guardians have come and gone. To be honest, we didn't pay much attention to who they were so long as they did their job," Registeel confessed.

"The name Aaron rings a bell, though…" Regirock murmured.

"Oh, I remember now!" Regice said ecstatically. "He came to visit the Tree about…I dunno…two thousand years ago?"

"Yeah, that sounds about right," said Regirock.

"I remember too…Mew happened to be visiting, so it was a memorable year," said Registeel. "There happened to be two clashing armies of humans and Pokemon nearby called the Reds and the Greens. Aaron sacrificed his Aura so that the Tree could radiate a nonlethal form of Aura Purge to calm their aggression and make them stop fighting."

"The part about the Lucario and humans…hmm, I vaguely remember a group of humans and Pokemon who had a Lucario with them attacking the Tree a few years before the great disaster," Regirock recalled. "We tried to get rid of them, but they were a slippery bunch, and not even the antibodies were able to keep a grip on them. They did a lot of damage, but were able to convince Mew to have mercy on them by sacrificing the Lucario's Aura or something to heal the Tree."

"That doesn't sound right," Regice said.

Regirock shrugged. "My memory's not what it used to be ever since the cataclysm. You know that."

"So there was a legendary human hero named Aaron…and a Lucario in our time named Aaron?" Pikachu wondered.

"Well, it's not like you can't have two people with the same name separated by species and hundreds of years, can you?" Leo pointed out.

"And isn't everyone in your family named Pikachu until you do something really significant or whatever?" Ash added.

Pikachu nodded. "Good point. But still…Ash, you can't possibly have been to our world before, not if the events they're talking about happened so long ago!"

"Maybe time travel was involved?" Leo suggested. "That happens a lot too."

"I have a simpler suggestion. Ash, from what you have said I take it you are from another universe?" Registeel asked.

Ash nodded. "That's right."

"Then your memory must simply be from the version of the Tree of Beginning in your world, and coming to the heart chamber in our Tree must have reminded you of it," Registeel said plainly.

"Oooh, yeah, that makes sense," said Leo.

"No it doesn't," Michael protested. "There's only one Tree of Beginning!"

"Not exactly," said Regirock.

"There was at first, when Mew originally planted it," said Regice. "But…well, let me put it this way. For every thing that happens, a parallel timeline or universe splits off where that thing didn't happen and something else took place instead. Like, if in our universe you chose to go down a left tunnel in a fork, another universe would be created where you went down the right branch instead. And probably one where you just turned around and went home. Or got eaten by a monster or something." Everyone sweatdropped.

"And in each of those split timelines, there must be Trees of Beginning, since they all originate from our own timeline, unless they got destroyed somewhere along the line. Ash must be from a parallel universe where not only do humans still exist and no great cataclysm occurred, but Sir Aaron's sacrifice and the death of the Lucario he mentioned must have been much more recent than it was in our universe," Registeel finished.

"Oh…I see…yeah, that must be it," said Ash.

"Makes sense to me," said Leo. "But I figured that all out several minutes ago." Pikachu rolled his eyes.

"Wait, if there are multiple Trees of Beginning, then…is there one where the Nihilators didn't take over? And my grandmother and friends and sister are all okay, and not…" He trailed off, glancing sadly at Pipi and Mimi, who looked back at him with their button eyes and touched him sympathetically.

Pikachu frowned. "And doesn't that also mean that if we do manage to throw the Nihilators out of here, we'll also create a universe where they _won_, and killed us all and destroyed the world?"

"Oh, you don't have to worry about that," Regirock assured him.

Regice nodded. "Yes, the hole Guardians either delete cancerous timelines like those or overwrite them using duplicated space-time from more stable parallel worlds to keep them from corrupting the rest of the Omniverse or the strain of universes that they originate from."

"In addition, most parallel timelines collapse back into themselves if they don't distinguish themselves significantly from the universe they originated from," Registeel said. "Though something like evil winning _would _be a big shift…but like I said, that's probably not something to worry about. So long as we make sure ours is the universe that actually _wins_, that is."

"And how do we go about doing that?" Ash said with a frown. "You were talking about the Aura Purge, but…after seeing what happened to those other guys, I'm not sure I want to do it. I mean, I'm perfectly willing to sacrifice my life for the greater good, but…I don't really look forward to dying just yet…"

"Well, as we were about to tell you before you had your abrupt and inconvenient flashback, that won't be a problem," said Regirock. Registeel hit him. "Ow!"

"While in the past it's true that Aura Guardians had to give up their lives to use the Aura Purge to cleanse and heal the Tree, in recent centuries we think we've come up with a way to work around that," Regice said.

"It requires the power of the Star Badge and the Protector of the Tree of Beginning to work, however," Registeel said.

"Me? How come?" asked the surprised Michael.

"Mew gave us the Star Badge to protect countless eons ago when we were first tasked with protecting the Tree of Beginning. It has been inside the Tree for so long that it has almost become a part of it," Registeel explained. "As the Tree expanded and matured over millions of years, it grew around the Badge and began to absorb some of its energy. That energy altered the composition of the rock which made up the Tree and eventually caused a unique strain of minerals to form. Can you guess what those minerals were, young Michael?"

Michael gasped. "Life crystals!"

Registeel nodded. "Precisely."

"Huh. Is that why they're all green and glowy, then? That must mean the Star Badge is green too," Leo speculated.

"The Emerald Star Badge possesses the ability to extend life. Not grant immortality, just give those who possess it a certain degree of longevity, so that they can outlive others of their kind," Registeel continued.

"Since the life crystals draw power from the Emerald Star, the energy they radiate also grants longevity, which is why all the Caretakers and other creatures that live in the Tree of Beginning are so long-lived," said Regirock.

"Except for us. We're just plain immortal," said Regice.

"The Protector of the Tree of Beginning is symbiotically connected to the Tree, and draws power from the Star Badge, as well as from the Tree's heart," Registeel said. "As such, the Protector is able to channel the energies of these artifacts. Since the Emerald Star has the power to extend life, and Aura power is tied to life, if Ash were to receive energy from the Star…"

"Then I'd have more life, and more Aura, so wouldn't have to give all of it up to Purge the Tree!" Ash realized.

"But then wouldn't he outlive all of us? Or die before us, depending on how much Aura he winds up using in the end?" Pikachu asked.

"That is where Michael comes in," Registeel said. "As the Protector, he will be able to control the flow of life energy the Emerald Star gives to Ash so that he will have enough power to use the Aura Purge and have just enough left over for him to continue living a normal lifespan for his species."

"Well, unless you want to live longer," Regirock pointed out.

"Nah, I'm good," said Ash. "Who wants to live forever anyway?"

"Everyone?" Leo said. "I certainly would…dying sucks, even if you _do_ get a nice afterlife out of it."

Michael frowned. "That sounds like a good idea, but…I don't know how to do any of that, and my ancestors aren't exactly being helpful at the moment."

"You are still new to your power. When you become more mature, you will gain access to more of your latent abilities," Registeel assured him. "Just being in the presence of the Emerald Star Badge should unlock more of your power and give you the knowledge you need to help Ash save the Tree."

"Cool, just like I can unlock more of the latent abilities of my sunglasses by doing heroic stuff…I think," said Leo. He frowned. "I should be due for another one sometime soon, don't you think? I mean, I've done lots of cool stuff since Turtle Town…even killed someone! To save other's lives, I mean," he said quickly when Pikachu frowned at him.

"So we need to go down and get the Star Badge, then come back and use it on Ash, and…we can get rid of all the Nihilators? Just like that?" Michael asked, amazed that it could possibly be that simple.

"Pretty much, yes," said Registeel.

"Wait," said Ash. "Not that I think this is a bad idea, but…have you actually tested this Emerald/Protector life-extender thing on an actual Aura Guardian?"

There was a long, awkward pause. "Er…" said Registeel.

"Um…" said Regirock.

"Well…no," admitted Regice.

Ash's jaw dropped. "You've never done it before?!"

"Then how do you even know it'll work?!" Pikachu asked in disbelief.

"Don't worry, whenever somebody says they've never done a dangerous procedure before, it's a surefire thing that it'll work exactly like it should! Well, except for maybe one or two hitches…" Leo said confidently.

"We've never had the opportunity to test our idea, but we've calculated a ninety-seven point five percent chance of success," Registeel said.

Ash relaxed slightly. "That much? Well, I guess that's not so bad."

"Of course, that also means there's a one percent chance it won't work and you'll die like everyone else," said Regirock.

"And a point five percent chance you'll explode!" Regice said cheerfully.

They all sweatdropped. "Gee, that sets my mind at ease…" Ash grumbled.

"But there's a ninety-seven point five percent chance it _won't_ happen, so…" Leo reminded him.

Ash sighed. "All right, fine, let's get this over with."

"Before we go, there are a couple of things I'd like to ask you," Pikachu asked the golems. "First of all…we have reason to believe that the leader of the Nihilators is the individual responsible for the great disaster that wiped out mankind. You were around back then. Would any of you happen to know the identity of our true adversary?"

The golems looked surprised. Sort of. "It's _that_ guy?!" Regirock growled. "I should've known…"

"Unfortunately, we don't remember," Regice said apologetically. "Everyone's memories of what happened back then are spotty for some reason. I should know, I've asked around."

"It's possible that the fiend used some sort of memory spell or psychic power to erase the knowledge of his identity from our minds so that, should he somehow be defeated, we would be unable to pursue him and exact justice for all the evil he has committed," said Registeel. "Not even the Savior was able to figure out who the villain was after he came and repaired our planet."

Leo nodded. "Yeah, that sounds like something an evil all-powerful wizard or whatever would do to cover his tracks."

Pikachu frowned. "Okay. Then my second question is this: What exactly are the Star Badges for? We know they're the keys to some giant door underneath Treasure Town. But what's behind that door? What are they trying to seal away?"

"Hey yeah, I was wondering that too," said Leo.

"Whatever it is, it must be very bad to be emitting all that evil…stuff I saw back there," Ash agreed.

"More than you can possibly imagine," Registeel said gravely. "For you see, what lies beyond that door that must never be opened is none other than-"

They were interrupted when several of the crystals growing from the wall turned red and started emitting rather grating chimes of alarm. "What's that?!" Ash yelled, holding his paws over his ears.

"The proximity alert!" Regice yelled back. "It means that somebody's approaching the heart chamber!"

"The Nihilators!" Michael cried.

"Are we under attack?!" Pikachu asked, drawing his sword.

Regirock chuckled. "Relax, it's just to let us know they're coming, they've never managed to penetrate our defensive line so far!" That's when one of the crystals shattered. "Uh, that wasn't supposed to happen."

The golems raced over to the crystals and analyzed them anxiously, seeming to comprehend the flashes and wails in a way that nobody else did except possibly Michael. "Not good…not good! They're plowing right through our defenses! They've already cleared level one!"

"But how is that possible?! They've never been able to do this before!" Regirock protested.

Michael's eyes shrunk as he listened to the Tree all around him. "I can sense them…they're coming. There are a lot of them, and they have something powerful…something _very_ powerful!"

"That sounds about right," Regice said in alarm as another crystal shattered. "They've cleared level 4!"

"Our traps, our crystals, our antibodies…nothing's stopping them!" said the anxious Regirock.

"What can we do?" Ash asked.

Registeel turned to the group. "What you can do is go down and retrieve the Star Badge then bring it back before they get here!"

More crystals shattered. "They're past level 3!" Regice said.

"But what about you?" Michael asked anxiously.

"We'll hold them off until you get back. Then you can use the Aura Purge to wipe them all out and save the Tree!" Registeel said.

More crystals broke. "Level 2's toast!" Regice yelled.

"What if we don't make it back in time?" Leo asked nervously.

"Then take the Badge and run. Run and don't look back. Even if the Tree of Beginning itself should crumble, we cannot, under any circumstances, let them have the Star!" Registeel said firmly.

"It could mean the end of the world!" Regirock agreed.

More crystals exploded. "They're through level 1!" Regice shouted.

"Time's running out. Let's move!" Pikachu said, sheathing his sword and running towards the tunnel Registeel had indicated earlier. The others ran with him.

"Do you think they'll make it?" Regirock asked anxiously.

"I pray to Mew that they do…otherwise, all may be lost," Registeel said gravely.

The last crystal broke. Regice glanced up. "They're here," she whispered.

They heard a loud slam. As one, they turned to look at a large pair of sealed double doors against the back wall, the main entrance to the chamber. It rattled and shook, causing dust to fall from its frame as something hit it from the other side. Something _very_ strong.

They raced over to the door and threw all their weight against it as whatever the Nihilators had brought with them struck the gateway again, causing the doors to bulge in slightly from the impact. The golems braced themselves against the ground, pushing back at the door with all their considerable might to try and keep the door from opening. However, as their unseen foe struck the door again and again and they found themselves losing ground, they started to wonder if their strength alone would be enough.

"This is ridiculous!" Regirock cried. "What can they have that can possibly be causing us to founder, a trio who has existed for millions and millions of years?!"

"I'm almost afraid to find out," Regice said timidly as the door shook again and she nearly fell over backwards from the force of the blow.

Registeel drew on his inner reserves of strength to try and bolster their defenses. He didn't think that strength was going to last, though. "Young Michael…you must return quickly. We can't hold them back much longer…"

…

They raced down a corkscrewing tunnel which descended deeper and deeper into the bowels of the Tree of Beginning. They frequently ran into doors and barriers made of crystal and stone which retracted only when prompted by the light from Michael's jewel. The Eevee had quickly taken the lead, claiming that he heard something 'calling to him' or something like that. After several minutes of running (and Leo wheezing and complaining and sucking on his inhaler) they reached the bottom, a large chamber almost completely made of crystal, like the room above them. This cavern was much smaller than the Tree's heart chamber, however, and the walls, floor, and ceiling were lined with brilliant green life crystals. A rock pedestal with glittering and pulsating green veins running down its sides jutted out of the floor in the center of the room. Perched on top of it, cradled between a set of stony claws, was a brightly glowing green gemstone in the shape of a star, about the size of Team Aurabolt's Rescue Team badges.

"The Emerald Star Badge…" Pikachu whispered in awe.

"Shiny," said Leo. He pulled out his camera and took a picture.

"It's beautiful," said Ash in amazement, examining it with his Aura-sight. "And its energy is so strong…it's flowing all around us and into the rest of the Tree. Amazing…"

Michael blinked and slowly approached the Star Badge, hearing a voice that none of the others could. "…What's that? You want me to come closer?" The Star's light and that of the crystals grew in intensity, and suddenly the ruby on Michael's forehead started glowing too. And then, much to their surprise, his whole body began to glow. Pipi and Mimi shuddered, as if they were somehow able to sense the light despite their blindness.

"Whoa! What's happening?!" Ash asked.

Leo whipped out his sunglasses and scanned Michael. "I think he's…evolving!"

"Ash, your knapsack!" Pikachu cried, noticing light was emanating from the bag as well.

"Huh?" Ash opened his knapsack and pulled out the map case, which, to his surprise, was indeed glowing. He opened it up and flinched as nearly blinding light shone out from within, the magical map radiant as it reacted to the nearby Star.

"Hold it up to the Star! It's trying to tell us where the next Badge is!" Pikachu realized.

"Right!" Ash held the map towards the Emerald Star Badge. Green light lanced out and touched a spot on the map, causing it to start flashing while the spot representing the Tree of Beginning faded back into obscurity.

"That's it! Where do we go next?" Pikachu asked.

"I think…uh oh. Look out!" Leo cried, jumping out of the way as Ash's eyes rolled back in his head and the Lucario collapsed to the floor. "Aw, crap, not again!"

"Ash, now is really not the time for a flashback!" Pikachu yelled, shaking his brother. "Wake up! We need to get the Badge and go help the Regis! Ash? Ash!" He shocked Ash repeatedly, but to no avail.

Leo gasped suddenly, and Pikachu looked up. Pikachu's jaw dropped in astonishment, seeing that Michael had finished evolving. "Michael?! Is that you?!"

Michael opened his eyes, which had gone from a shiny black to a deep brown, and smiled at his friends. "Hey guys. How do I look?"

…

_Please…don't die…_

_I'm so sorry…_

Ash was sitting on a bench in one of the locker rooms in the Supreme Stadium, giving his team one final pep talk before they went out on the field of battle. He smiled as he gazed at the six Pokemon he had chosen to fight with in this, what would be his ultimate test as a Pokemon trainer. Each was a seasoned veteran and had fought by his side in countless battles and even a few championships. Some had been victories, others had been losses, but he trusted all of them implicitly. They had all fought and trained together so much that he barely even needed to give them commands anymore in battle; they seemed to be able to react to what he was thinking and fight on their own. Some said he was telepathic, but Ash and his friends knew otherwise; he just had a very, very tight bond with his Pokemon. They were more than just his friends and allies, they were his family, and they knew and understood each other on a level most other Pokemon trainers never reached. "Okay guys," he said with a smile, trying to keep the nervousness out of his voice. "This is it. Our greatest battle yet. The road to get here has been long and hard, but we made it, even when it seemed like the whole world was against us. I think that, no matter what happens out in that stadium today, all of you are champions. We've earned the right to be called that time and time again, and it doesn't matter whether or not we get a fancy title to prove it. In my eyes, all of you are the best Pokemon a trainer could ever have." He pumped a fist in the air. "So…let's go out there and show the world once and for all who the greatest Pokemon trainer is, okay?"

Pikachu, Sceptile, Charizard, Staraptor, Squirtle, and Infernape all replied eagerly in the affirmative, as ready as their trainer was to win the upcoming battle. Infernape had a personal reason to want to win, to rub his flaming monkey ass in his former trainer's face and show him that he had been a fool to abuse and discard him, for now the awesome power that he possessed, power that could not have been unlocked without Ash's kindness, would never be Paul's. Ash smiled and wiped at his face, not wanting them to see him crying, not now. "You guys…no matter what, I'll always be proud of you. I love you all, you know that?" He spread his arms out. "Come on; let's have a big group hug before we go out there!"

The six gave him looks of alarm and edged backwards, staring at him like he was insane or something. Ash sweatdropped. "What? Oh come on, I can't show you guys physical affection once in a while? Geez…"

They eventually hugged him, though it was kind of awkward since the coolest and most badass of Ash's team weren't really prone to hugging or other signs of affection, and Infernape accidentally set Sceptile on fire and Squirtle had to put him out with a spray of water and Charizard had breathed fire all over Ash for old time's sake and Pikachu had panicked and electrocuted them all, but, all in all, it was a touching moment. Sort of.

Ash quickly returned everyone (save Pikachu, of course) to their Pokeballs, cleaned himself up, and headed for the exit, where a security guard was waiting to escort him out to the field. "Are you ready to go, Mr. Ketchum?" the guard asked Ash as he approached.

Ash nodded. "I'm ready."

The guard paused. "Are you certain you wouldn't prefer a less…ah…"

Ash frowned. "A less what?"

The guard coughed. "A less, er, excitable team?"

Ash scowled. Pikachu growled warningly and started building up power in his cheeks. "There are no six Pokemon I would rather fight with than the ones with me now."

"All right, I was just asking," the guard said. He pushed open the locker room door. "If you would follow me please, sir, we'll be on our way."

There were more guards waiting outside. Since the latest Annihilation attack, the security forces at the Supreme Stadium and everywhere else in Poketropolis had been pushed up to full alert. Considering how many high-profile individuals and potential targets would be in the Stadium that day, there was no precaution too little that the Pokemon League could take in making sure that the World Championship finals went off without a hitch. Just as Gary had predicted, nobody at any point suggested that they simply cancel the match and evacuate the city just in case. Ash's respect for the League was dropping by the minute.

In the end, however, despite what he had said earlier to Gary and Brock, he didn't really care about the threat Annihilation might pose to the city. He supposed that was selfish of him, but he'd been forced to save the world over a dozen times since leaving home at the far-too young age of ten, and, ancient prophecies be damned, he was getting a little tired of it. Let someone else, like the proper authorities, take care of the bad guys for a change, all Ash wanted to do now was fulfill his dream and become a Pokemon Master. Maybe not the best goal to be shooting for given the current political situation, but it had been the one he'd desired since the day he was old enough to really get into Pokemon, and he was too stubborn to let go of it, not when it was so close he could taste it.

And the fact that he'd get to wipe the floor with Paul's face was a pretty good incentive too. He _really _hated that guy, and if anybody was unworthy of the title of world's greatest Pokemon trainer, it was Paul. (Okay, Ash did feel more than a little sorry for the guy's city being blown up earlier, but considering that Paul had refused to cancel the match in spite of losing everything that most people would have cared for and didn't appear to feel particularly sorry that his family was DEAD mitigated some of that pity and made him even more resolved to win. He had briefly considered throwing the match or forfeiting out of respect for his rival's sudden loss, but Paul's failure to show any remorse for the deaths of his brother Reggie or his parents quickly rid him of that notion.)

Ash's guard signaled the others, and they closed ranks around him and started leading him down a series of corridors towards the battlefield. Ash absent-mindedly scratched Pikachu on the head while running tactics through his head for the millionth time, trying to figure out the best way to use his Pokemon against whatever Paul had on his team, when a familiar voice snapped him out of his reverie. "Ash, wait!"

The guards stiffened and turned to face the person running down the hall towards them, reaching for their Pokeballs, but Ash pushed his way through them. "Guys, wait, she's with me!" They grunted and reluctantly stood down. "Misty, what's wrong?"

Ash's friend Misty, a red-headed blue-eyed girl who happened to be one of his oldest companions (And had cleaned up pretty nicely as she got older. Not that Ash noticed that sort of thing, of course. Or _did_ he?) stopped a few feet away from him, panting and putting her hands on her knees to catch her breath. Her Togekiss, who'd been able to leave the Mirage Kingdom after another Togepi evolved to protect the Togepi Paradise, caught up with them, chirping happily upon seeing Ash and Pikachu _as it lay smoldering on the ground, its pure white skin charred black and soaked with blood_. Pikachu squeaked and waved back happily, glad to see his 'Pikachu-pi' and 'PiPiPi' again. (Even though he'd already seen them just a few hours ago.) "Sorry," Misty said as she managed to recover. "I just…I wanted to talk to you for a minute before you went out there."

Ash frowned in puzzlement. "Uh, okay. What's up?"

"I wanted to give you this," she said, handing him a red and white hat with a green slash mark on it.

Ash's eyes widened in amazement. "This is…"

"Your old hat. The one you had to send like a hundred boxtops to the Pokemon League to get, right?" Misty said with a smile. "I got this from your mother and thought you should wear this. Not that your other hats aren't nice, but…well, I've always thought this one had a certain charm all its own, don't you think?"

Ash nodded slowly, stunned beyond words. "Yeah…" Slowly, he extended his hand. Misty gave him the hat. He took off the one he was wearing at the moment and doffed the one she had given him. It was still a perfect fit, even after all these years. He felt strange wearing it, as if being reunited with an old friend he hadn't seen in ages. "Thanks, Misty." He paused, looking down at his other hat, not sure what to do with it. "Uh…"

"Oh! I'll take that," she said quickly, snatching the hat from him. Their fingers brushed against each other. Ash felt a strange tingling sensation not unlike one of Pikachu's regular electroshocks, but his mousy friend was just sitting on his shoulder and not doing anything but eyeing him with a strange, almost _expectant_ look on his face. What was going on?

"Thanks," he said, drawing his hand back a little too quickly. "Um. Take care of that, okay? I mean, it's not quite the same as my old hat, but…well, my Mom made it, and it's got some charm too, you know?"

She nodded a little too rapidly. "Yeah. I know."

There was an awkward silence. One of the guards coughed, but neither Ash nor Misty noticed. Togekiss frowned and nudged Misty hard, nearly knocking her over and causing her to take a few more steps towards Ash. She glared at the Jubilee Pokemon in annoyance. Ash rubbed the back of his head in confusion. "Um…was there something else you wanted to say?"

"Oh! Um…" Misty held the hat to her chest and looked down, her cheeks turning red. "I…I just wanted to…to wish you good luck today. You've worked long and hard to make it this far and…and I know that if anyone deserves to win the title of World Champion, it's you, Ash Ketchum."

Ash was touched. "…Thanks, Misty. That means a lot to me."

She smiled faintly. "And besides, you can't let that jerk Paul have it, now can you?"

Ash smirked. "Yeah, definitely!" They both laughed.

Pikachu and Togekiss frowned and gave each other exasperated looks. The mouse flicked his ears. The white bird…thing sighed and nudged Misty again. Misty scowled, glared at her 'firstborn' then swallowed and took another step towards Ash. "Ash…um…there's something else I wanted to say."

Ash blinked. What else was there to say? "Yeah? What?"

"I…" Misty took a deep breath, shuddered, then suddenly rushed forward and kissed Ash on the lips_ He clutched her dead body to his chest, sobbing, refusing to believe her life had been snuffed out as easily as a candle even as her blood soaked into his clothes and stained his hands and face. _

Ash's eyes widened in astonishment. The guards stared. Togekiss and Pikachu sighed in relief and gave each other a look that said _Finally!_ After a minute, Misty pulled away from the dumbstruck Ash and whispered into his ear, "I've always loved you, Ash Ketchum." And then she was gone, fleeing down the corridor away from him. Pikachu and Togekiss gave each other thumb's ups, and then the Jubilee Pokemon flew away after her mother. Ash just stared after Misty's retreating form, his mind a complete and utter blank, unable to process what the heck had just happened.

The same guard from before coughed again. "Ah, Mr. Ketchum?"

"…Guh?" Ash said, having temporarily lost the ability to speak intelligibly.

"We, ah, really should be going now. Don't want to miss your match, now do we?" the guard said.

Ash blinked and, reluctantly, pulled himself together. "…Yeah. Right. The match. Can't miss that." He made no attempt to turn away. The guards sighed, grabbed him by the arm, and yanked him bodily down the hall. He didn't struggle.

…

Meanwhile, in the Supreme Stadium…

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another fine day for Pokemon battling! Today is the final day of the Pokemon World Championship Tournament, and whoever wins this next match will have the honor of becoming the world's greatest Pokemon Master!" an MC with a ridiculously large pompadour declared, causing the millions of people filling the stadium to scream enthusiastically.

While the MC launched into a long and pointless speech about history and legacy and the grandeur of the Pokemon League and how they had to stick together in dark times and all sorts of other BS, a very familiar group of people were trying to make a living off the crowd's enjoyment. "Rocket dogs! Get your rocket dogs!" James, an effeminate man with blue hair and green eyes shouted while waving some hot dogs in the air.

"Get 'em while they're still hot! And before the health inspector shuts us down!" Jessie, a…not-pretty woman with long, odd red hair cried, also waving some hot dogs.

"Get 'em while dey're still cheap!" said a talking Meowth wearing a rather pathetic disguise of a hot dog salesman that absolutely nobody saw through.

"Mime mime mime mime!" a Mime Jr. wearing an adorable hot dog costume said cheerfully as he tried to attract customers by doing cute dances and miming routines. It was working pretty well.

"Mrrow…" a Persian also wearing a hot dog costume grunted unenthusiastically. He drew in much less of a crowd.

"Yes, I know Persian, this is quite a step down for us, isn't it?" grumbled the striking older man in a paper hat with a big red R printed on it manning the hot dog cart that also sported a large R on the side while heating their patented Rocket dogs over the grill. He put the meat into a bun and handed it to a customer, grimacing at the meager amount of money he got in return. He had used to _wipe_ himself with larger bills than this when he was out of toilet paper. "To think that this is what the great Team Rocket has been reduced to! Damn that Annihilation, they've destroyed all of our holdings, blown up our headquarters, and killed all of our agents…except for us…"

"Don't worry, Boss, we'll get Team Rocket back on its feet in no time!" Jessie assured the man heating the Rocket dogs.

James, nodded in agreement. "Team Rocket shall rise once more from the ashes, just like the Moltres of legend!"

"You sure you ain't talking about dat Moltres costume you once wore, Jimmy?" the talking Meowth snickered. "You certainly were _flaming_ in that thing…"

James' face turned red. "I only wore it once…I haven't taken it out of the closet since!"

"It's a bit too late for that, Jimmy…once you're out of da closet, dere's no going back in!" Meowth claimed. Persian sweatdropped, wondering Meowth was saying these things on purpose or if he actually had no idea of the innuendo he was spewing.

Jessie and James' former (and still, technically) boss, Giovanni, once-leader of the infamous Team Rocket criminal organization, sighed. "So…what was your plan again?"

"That twerp's Pikachu is the key to our return to the top!" Jessie claimed. "With its power in our hands, there'll be no stopping us! Annihilation won't stand a chance!"

"Yes, yes, you've said that before," Giovanni said, skeptical as ever of his associates' claims of this one Pikachu's power. "But how exactly do you intend to capture it? Your success rate has been, shall we say, less than spectacular in that field…"

"We've come up with a brilliant idea!" James assured the Boss.

"It can't fail!" Jessie agreed.

"We're gonna wait for da twerp to tire all his Pokemon out battling dat odder guy," Meowth explained. "Den, when Pikachu's at its weakest from all da fighting, we'll send James' Mime Jr. out on the field to distract everyone wid its cutesie dancing. While everyone's staring at it in confusion, since dere was no scheduled intermission for dis match, we'll run out, grab Pikachu, trow him in da cart, and skedaddle out of dere!"

"And then we'll use it to defeat Annihilation and put Team Rocket back on top!" James said triumphantly.

"And den, once da Boss is back in his rightful place of power, he'll shower us with all sorts of rewards!" Meowth said, his eyes going wide and dreamy.

"And promotions! And raises! And gold mansions with pools full of chocolate-flavored Jell-O! And keys to the executive washroom!" Jessie and James chorused eagerly.

"Wooooobbuffet!" Jessie's Wobbuffet cried as it popped out of its Pokeball for no reason. It was also wearing a paper hat with a big red R printed on it.

Giovanni sweatdropped in disbelief. "…That's your brilliant plan?!"

"Yeah! It can't fail!" Meowth said.

Giovanni facepalmed. "I have a better idea, you three. Why don't we sneak down into the lower levels, where you three will provide a distraction for the guards while Persian and I hide in the locker room, where we will ambush the boy and his Pikachu when they are finished with their match and come in to cool off from the fight? They will be completely vulnerable in there, and too worn out to fight back!"

They gave him astonished looks. "What? We can't do that, Boss!" James said.

"Yeah, where's da panache?" Meowth asked.

"Or the Team Rocket flair?" Jessie asked.

"There aren't even any holes or crossdressing or giant mechas involved in that idea!" James agreed.

Giovanni and Persian facefaulted. "Why couldn't some of my more competent henchmen have survived?" the ex-criminal mastermind groaned. "Like Domino? Or Attila and Hun? Or Bill and Cassidy?"

They all waited expectantly, but no angry voice corrected Giovanni for saying the wrong name. "Oh, that's right, he's dead," James said sadly. "I'll miss that guy…"

"I won't," Jessie sneered. "Good riddance to bad rubbish…I'm talking about Cassidy, by the way."

"Well, duh," Meowth said with a roll of his eyes.

Meanwhile, the MC was finally winding up his speech. "And without further ado, let's get this title match started! In the red corner, hailing from Pallet Town, a veteran trainer who's competed in almost every regional tournament there is and won almost none of them (though he's succeeded in a few peripheries most people don't pay attention to), say hello again to Aaaaaaash Ketchup! Er, Ketchum. My bad."

"All of you, be quiet," Giovanni snapped. "Look! He's coming out now!"

The Rockets quickly hushed up, while all around them the crowds burst into cheers and wild applause (or jeers) as Ash's escort led the young trainer out onto the enormous battlefield in the center of the stadium. Ash blinked, squinting against the sunlight and turning in circles to take in the millions of people in the stands _smoke rising from their bodies, their skeletons frozen in their seats with death's-head grins on their fleshless faces like the audience of a macabre theater of death_ rising up in countless tiers and balconies all around him. Ash gaped, and gaped again when he saw his face reflected back at him from countless jumbo-sized television screens lining the top of the stadium walls. In between the screens were countless poles waving flags which represented every region and country in the world, as well as an enormous torch in which a flame from Ho-Oh burned brightly to symbolize the eternal spirit of the Pokemon World Championships or something like that.

"Wow…" he whispered. He had seen the Supreme Stadium from inside before, of course, during the opening ceremonies, but that didn't evoke quite the same feeling as walking out into it for the biggest battle of your life with countless humans and Pokemon screaming your name and roaring for you to win (Or lose, depending on which trainer they supported. A ridiculous number of people seemed to be rooting for Paul, mostly idiot fangirls. Ash doubted any of them knew what Paul was _really_ like and just were into him for his 'bad-boy looks' and 'bishie hair.')

"Pika…" Pikachu agreed. They had been in big stadiums before (each of the arenas where they had fought their matches in the days before this had been at least as big as Indigo Stadium back in Kanto), but nothing _this_ size, with so many people all around them! Half the city's population had to be crammed into the seats rising on all sides! (And it was a _big_ city, let me tell you.)

One of the guards smirked at Ash and Pikachu's stunned expression. "Welcome to the big League, kid." The security force parted and allowed Ash to walk up a set of stairs to the top of a tall red platform jutting from the stadium floor that overlooked the battlefield. From this high vantage point, Ash and Pikachu could look down at the arena they would be fighting in. At first glance it looked like any other Pokemon battlefield, with white lines crisscrossing freshly paved dirt clearly demarcating trainer areas and boundaries, but it was actually designed so that it could transform into a different form of field based on a specific type of environment at a moment's notice. It did so frequently and randomly, with no hint as to which type of field would be coming up next until it was too late. Ash had brought what he hoped would be a well-rounded team in anticipation of this switching field, so that with any luck his Pokemon would be able to handle the environmental shifts with minimal difficulty. Unfortunately, Paul probably had a similarly well-rounded team…what he didn't have; however, was the unbreakable bond of love and trust which kept Ash and his team forever intertwined.

Ash scanned the crowd, but was unable to spot the special box that had been reserved for his friends and family. There were just so _many _people here… "Do you see them, Pikachu?" Ash asked his partner. The mouse shook his head. Ash sighed. "Well, they've gotta be here somewhere…" His fingers brushed against his lips. Pikachu started to snicker, until Ash glared at him and said, "I don't tease you about Dawn's Buneary, now do I?" Pikachu promptly shut up.

While Ash couldn't see his friends, his friends could see him. Brock, Gary, May, Dawn, Ash's mother, and Professor Oak were all sitting in the aforementioned private box. Brock was feeding his baby Happiny popcorn while May tried to keep her Munchlax from eating all of her food and Dawn helped her Piplup, Ambipom, Buneary, and Pachirisu into the cheerleading uniforms she had handmade for this special occasion. "Quite the crowd today, isn't it?" Oak commented to the others.

"Yes! They're all so loud I would barely be able to hear myself…if we didn't have soundproofing, that is!" Ash's mother, Delia, said cheerfully.

"You wish that was you down there, Gary?" Brock asked Gary, who was looking at the field with a strange expression on his face.

Gary shook his head and stroked Umbreon's back, the Moonlight Pokemon sitting happily in his lap. "Once I might have, but not anymore. Ash proved which of us was the greatest trainer years ago. We're in totally different worlds now, practically, our rivalry's at an end. However…" He grimaced. "I'm somewhat appalled to think that someone like Paul has managed to make it this far. I know he just lost his home and family thanks to Annihilation, but it's hard to feel sorry for a guy who's done the things he has. It just goes to show you, the power of friendship and heart doesn't always get you to the big leagues. Then again, the fact that Ash hasn't actually _won_ too many championships also seems to prove that point…"

"Harsh training has merit, but so do love and kindness. Justice will prevail," Oak said.

"Oh wow! Was that another one of your poems, sir? That was neat!" Dawn gushed.

Oak laughed embarrassedly and the others sweatdropped. "It wasn't _that_ good…" Gary muttered. "I could do better."

"Okay," said Brock. "Let's hear one."

"Uh, not right now, I don't feel like it," Gary said quickly.

"Where's Misty?" May asked, looking around for the last member of their group. "She should have gotten back from the bathroom by now…"

"Well, isn't it her time of the month-" Brock started before Dawn, May, and Delia all pounded him. His Croagunk popped out of its Pokeball and Poison Jabbed him for good measure. "Ow…I deserved that…"

"How do you even know that?" asked an incredulous Gary.

"An advantage…of traveling with a particular woman for a long time…is that you pick up on…these things," Brock gasped. Happiny giggled and clapped her hands at her father's suffering.

At that moment, the person in question returned, Togekiss fluttering over her head. "Hey guys. What did I miss?"

"Ash just came out," Delia said excitedly. "Doesn't he look so handsome? Oh, my little boy's all grown up!"

Misty flushed. "Yeah, he is…" Togekiss tittered.

"What took you so long?" May wondered. "We were afraid you'd miss the start of it!"

"Well, I…" Misty hesitated. "Um…I decided to run down and talk to Ash before he went out."

Instantly, she had the full attention of everyone in the booth. It was somewhat unnerving. "Oh?" Brock said with a raised eyebrow.

"What sort of, ah, talk?" Oak asked.

Misty frowned. "Well, if you must know, I just wished him good luck. And gave him his old hat back."

They all sagged in disappointment. "Is that all?" Gary complained.

"Well, it is a nice hat," Brock admitted.

"Even though I didn't make it like all his others…" Delia muttered, slightly offended.

Misty glared at them. "What? Were you hoping that something else had happened?"

"No, no, of course not," they all said a little too quickly.

Misty scowled. Togekiss sighed in frustration and nudged her. "What?!" Togekiss glared at her. Misty sighed and gave in, her shoulders sagging in defeat. "Fine. I kissed him, okay? And told him…how I felt."

Instantly, everyone in the box whooped in elation. "FINALLY!" Brock shouted to the heavens, frightening Happiny.

"Congratulations!" cheered May.

"It took you long enough!" Dawn agreed as her Pokemon happily hopped up and down.

"At last, I'm going to become a grandmother!" Delia cheered.

"About damn time! Pay up, grandpa! Told you she'd do it before the last match!" Gary said to Oak, who grumbled and handed him some bills.

Misty's jaw dropped. "Wait a minute. You all knew how I felt about Ash, have been expecting me to do this for ages…and were _taking bets as to when I'd tell him?!"_

"Of course we knew how you felt," Gary snorted. "It was completely obvious to anyone with eyes! Heck, even Brock knew it!"

"Yeah!" said Brock. He paused. "Wait, what's that supposed to mean?"

"We weren't sure you'd ever actually go through with it, dear," Delia said sweetly. "You and Ash are both sort of stupid that way."

May nodded. "And since Dawn and I both got together with our boyfriends, we were getting impatient waiting for you to finally hook up with Ash so we could all go out on couple's nights and stuff together."

"So we bribed Togekiss to push you to do it if you didn't tell him how you felt by the end of the tournament, but apparently she decided to take the initiative and do it early. Good job, Togekiss! Here's your reward," Dawn said, handing Togekiss some specially-made Poffin. The Jubilee Pokemon gleefully ate it.

"Traitor," Misty snarled at her surrogate daughter.

"So, how did Ash respond?" Brock asked with eagerness mixed with envy, since he had yet to receive a kiss from any of the many women he liked. Unless you counted…*shudder*…Professor Ivy…

"Well, I'm…not really sure," Misty admitted. "He had this blank look on his face, and I sort of ran off right after kissing him and telling him how I felt."

They all groaned. Oak extended a hand to Gary, who grumbled and gave him back his money. "Oh well, I'm sure he enjoyed it," Delia said optimistically.

"He'd better have…" Misty grumbled, sitting down. "If not, I…well…I don't know what I'd do…" She sagged, doubt suddenly flooding her. Had he not responded because he wasn't interested? He had rarely if ever given any hints that he might feel the same way… Togekiss chirped worriedly and rubbed up against her mother's cheek, causing Misty to smile and hug her to her chest in thanks.

"And in the green corner," the MC announced, drawing their attention back to the field and away from Ash and Misty's not-quite-love life. "Hailing from Veilstone City—or what's left of it, with no apparent desire whatsoever to drop out of the tournament and mourn despite his entire hometown and family being _vaporized_ last night--with a pretty good record in several of the same Leagues his competitor's been to and a (now deceased, sad to say) older brother who's broken just about every record there is in the Kanto, Johto, Hoenn, and Sinnoh Leagues and set new precedents in the field of Pokemon Breeding before his untimely demise, let's give a big Poketropolis hello and thank you to Paul Takem, to show him that we appreciate him pushing forward despite the soul-crushing grief and pain he is no doubt suffering, even though he isn't showing it at the moment!"

The crowd started either cheering or booing as Paul, a tall purple-haired boy with a perpetual glower etched onto his face, entered the stadium from the opposite side of the field as Ash, marching up the steps of a tall green platform that overlooked the arena. Paul's ridiculously large group of fangirls went wild.

"MARRY ME, PAUL!" shrieked one girl.

"YOUR CRUELTY TO POKEMON TURNS ME ON!" yelled another.

"YOUR RECENT LOSS MAKES ME WANT TO HUG YOU AND KISS YOU AND GIVE YOU HEALING BUTTSEX TO MAKE THE PAIN YOU'RE BRAVELY AND STOICALLY HIDING GO AWAY!" shrieked yet another.

"WHEN I GROW UP, I'M GONNA ABUSE MY POKEMON AND TREAT THEM LIKE TOOLS JUST LIKE YOU!" a little boy shouted.

Everyone in the private box sweatdropped. "I don't believe this…" Brock growled.

"Kids these days," Oak grunted angrily. "Is this what Pokemon training has descended to? Approval of people treating living things like weapons and forcing them to compete against each other?"

"Isn't that what Pokemon training's always been about?" Dawn asked the scientist, causing him to sweatdrop and stammer a bit as he tried to think of a good reply.

"My fangirls were never like that…" Gary muttered. "And neither was I, for that matter. This is sickening. _I_ would certainly have dropped out if Pallet Town and Grampa were dead…well, unless Ash were still competing. Then I guess I would have kept going too."

"I hope Ash creams him, to shut these people up if for no other reason!" May said angrily. "It's kind of hard to feel sorry for this guy when his fans are cheering the horrible things he does to his Pokemon!"

"Yeah…" Misty said, glancing at Ash and wondering, once again, how he had felt when their lips had touched.

Ash glared across the battlefield at his most hated rival _the trainer screaming in agony as he was savagely torn to pieces by his own Pokemon, who were more than delighted to finally exact vengeance on their heartless master_. Paul glared back just as coldly. "Are you ready, Pikachu?" Ash whispered to Pikachu.

Pikachu nodded, his cheeks crackling at the anticipation of taking Paul down a notch. "Pi_ka_chu!"

"Now, let's begin the match!" the MC started, causing the crowd to cheer. "But first, a word from our leader, President Pokeman!" Everyone groaned.

In a fine marble balcony set at the base of the great Ho-Oh torch on high, overlooking the entire stadium, several thrones were placed. Upon these thrones were various world leaders, dignitaries, and high-ranking Pokemon League officials, along with several security officers. One of the leaders, the President of Poketropolis (which was so big it counted as a region of its own rather than just another city) and Grandmaster of the Pokemon League rose to his feet and walked to the edge of the balcony, spreading his arms in anticipation of cheers from the crowd. They did so, though a little halfheartedly, since they wanted the match to start already.

"My friends," the President said in a grave voice. "As you know, Pokemon have always been a part of my life. I love them so much that I even changed my name so that it sounded like I was a Pokemon!"

"Is that supposed to endear him to us or something?" Dawn asked Oak, who shrugged.

"I'm sure the more…lewd allegations about the extent of his relationship with his Pokemon are completely baseless," Brock said, although he didn't look too certain.

"I know some of you may be wondering why we are holding this championship match in light of the current threat posed by Annihilation and the disasters they claim to have committed," Pokeman continued. "There have been grumblings of bribery and backroom deals and utter disregard for the lives of the common people. That could not be farther from the truth, however! Your lives and safety are of the utmost concern to us!"

"Liar," Gary grumbled.

"So why, then, do we insist on holding this final battle, in spite of current global events? I will tell you why!" Pokeman shouted. "Because the Pokemon League will never give in to terrorist demands! We will never compromise what we believe in: the grand institution of Pokemon battling, the unity that brings our two great races together in a glorious brotherhood! We shall stand strong, a united front against all evils which threaten our world and society, a bright light against the encroaching darkness, as eternal as the Ho-Oh flame behind me!"

As if on cue, the torch abruptly went out. A shocked hush fell over the stadium. Pokeman looked over his shoulder to see what everyone was staring at and nearly fell over in surprise. "That…uh…that wasn't supposed to happen…" He coughed and tried to get back on track. "Ah, it's just some technical difficulties, folks, nothing to worry about…now, where was I? Oh yes, we shall stand together against the coming storm-"

There was a thunderclap, and dark clouds started rolling overhead, covering the sky and blotting out the sun. The crowd started murmuring, a sense of confusion taking hold in their hearts…and steadily turning into fear. Frustrated at yet another interruption, the President glared at one of his aides. "I thought we had the Castform make this a clear and sunny day! What's with the thunderclouds?!"

"I-I don't know sir," the aide said in worry. "I'll get right on it." She dialed up the weather service on her Poketch, certain somebody's head was going to roll for this.

"It's going to rain? That's funny," May commented. "I thought the weather service said it was going to be a nice day today."

"It's nothing to worry about, they'll just close the roof so we can continue the match," Gary said. He frowned. "Though that torch going out worries me…"

"That's not all that worries me…" said a concerned Oak. "Something…doesn't seem right about those clouds…"

Oak wasn't the only one who was worried. All the Pokemon in their box started looking nervous; Dawn's Pokemon were shivering and huddling close to each other in fright, Happiny was fussing and crying, Umbreon actually bit Gary, and a trembling Togekiss pressed herself to her mother's chest in terror. "What's wrong, you guys?!" asked an alarmed Dawn, trying to calm her Pokemon down…only to get shocked by Pachirisu, who, as always, lost control of her voltage whenever she got overexcited.

"What's going on?" asked the confused May.

"Togekiss, calm down!" Misty said.

"Umbreon—ow!—let go of my finger!" Gary yelled, trying to pull his hand out of Umbreon's mouth as the Dark Pokemon dug her claws into his legs.

"Professor Oak, what's happening?" Brock asked, noticing that their Pokemon weren't the only ones acting strangely; all the ones belonging to trainers in the crowd were panicking as well, and Flying Pokemon who had been roosting on the flagpoles, giant screens, and high walls abruptly took flight and fled from the stadium as quickly as possible. "All the Pokemon are going crazy!"

Oak's face went pale. "Oh dear…Pokemon are more in tune with nature than we humans. For them to be behaving like this must mean…something very bad is about to happen."

"Waaahhh! Hold me Jimmy, I'm scared!" Meowth wailed, leaping onto James' chest and knocking him to the ground. James tried to tell him to get off, but then the frightened Mime Jr. glomped his face and muffled his protests.

"B-B-Boss, what's going on?!" Jessie whimpered.

Giovanni kept a steady hand on Persian's arched back as the Classy Cat hissed at the storm, its hair standing up and making it look taller than it was. "They're here…" he murmured, eyes narrowed.

On the green platform, Paul frowned. "What's going on?"

On the red platform, Ash tensed, goosebumps forming on his flesh and the hair rising on the back of his neck. "Pikachu…you feel it too, don't you? Something's not right…"

"Pika…" Pikachu said, his entire body tense and sparks flying from his cheeks as he kept his eyes on the ominous clouds overhead.

And that's when the sky began to fall.

_Please…don't die…_

_I'm so sorry…_

…

Ash abruptly woke up to find all his friends were staring at him with worried looks on their faces. "Huh? What happened?"

"You had another flashback," said Pikachu.

"You okay, man?" asked Leo.

Ash nodded and got back on his feet. "Yeah, I think…" He blinked when he realized there was something different about the fourth member of the team, whom Pipi and Mimi were clinging to with…sort of happy (?) expressions on their mangled faces. "Michael? Is that you?"

Michael, who had evolved into a tan-colored fox-like creature with brown eyes and paws, sprouts growing all over his body, and a long leaf-shaped tail smiled and nodded. "That's right! The Emerald Star Badge was able to unlock my full powers. Now I'm ready to defend the Tree of Beginning as Protector of the Tree!"

Ash noticed that he still had the red gemstone in his forehead. "I thought you were going to evolve into an Espeon," he said.

"So did I," Pikachu said.

"Was I out for long?" Ash asked.

"Too long!" said Leo. "The Regis are probably getting clobbered by now!"

"What?! Then why didn't you go up without me?!" Ash cried.

"We couldn't just leave you here," Michael said. "The doors would close behind us, and since you're not the Protector, you wouldn't be able to open them and would be trapped down here."

"And you're too heavy for us to drag back up the tunnel," said Leo.

"And without you, we can't do that Aura Purge thing to destroy all the Nihilators in the Tree," Pikachu added.

Ash frowned. "Right, right. Let's go then. Do we have the Star?"

Pikachu held it up. "After it made Michael evolve and marked the next Star Badge's location on the map, it just stopped glowing and fell off the pedestal over there."

"Where did the map say the next Star is?" Ash asked.

"An active volcano imaginatively named 'Giant Volcano,'" Leo said. "It's on a large island off the northwestern coast of Sinnorre. The Volcano is famous for being the home of Mt. Battle, an arena where Pokemon from all over the world duke it out for the title of Grand Champion. They have big tournaments and gladiator matches and the like all the time, and it gets televised and everything. I'm a major fan, naturally."

Ash felt another bit of déjà vu, not because he thought he'd been to Mt. Battle but because it sounded a lot like the place where he had just been in his flashback. "An island? How do we get there?"

"That's something we can figure out later. Right now we need to help the Regis!" Pikachu pointed out.

Ash nodded. "Right. Let's go!

…

Regirock used Lock-On to target his opponent then fired a Hyper Beam. The golden energy beam streaked towards the evil Pokemon, who immediately tried using its incredible speed to dodge it. However, the transmitter Regirock had 'painted' on the beast with his mind served as a homing beacon for the Hyper Beam, and it doggedly pursued the enemy no matter where it moved, mimicking its dodges and jumps move-for-move as it ran around the perimeter of the room and zigzagged around pillars of crystal.

Regirock did not expect it, however, to rush right towards him, leap over him, and cause the Beam to strike him full in the face. Fortunately, he managed to cross his arms and use Iron Defense at the last second, his entire body hardening as a blue sheen ran over his form and protected him the blast of his own attack.

It did not protect him, on the other hand, from the incredibly powerful Hydro Pump that struck him in the back, blasting him across the room and smashing him into the cave wall, breaking crystals everywhere as the incredibly-high pressure blast continued pounding against his stony hide. When the Pump finally let up, he slid to the ground, dripping and groaning in pain as water seeped into cracks all over his body. "Unh…"

Regice gathered her icy power and fired a Blizzard that blasted a wide area with cold ice and snow. Her enemy was not remarkably deterred, however, and ran forward, the icy wind doing little to stop its charge towards her. So she improvised by firing an Ice Beam at the ground, freezing the floor beneath the Pokemon's feet and causing it to slip and slide and tumble head over heels towards her. She smoothly stepped out of the way and watched with pleasure as it collided headfirst into a crystal pillar.

Before it could recover, she smashed the pillar with a Focus Punch and quickly retreated as a section of the roof caved in and buried her foe in a pile of crystal and stone. She blasted the debris with another Ice Beam for good measure to freeze it solid, then turned away to help her siblings, regretting that she had been forced to damage the Tree but understanding the necessity of the situation. She was sure they could patch it up later.

She was disappointed, but not entirely surprised, when the ice behind her started cracking and her enemy exploded out of it in a blast of thunder. With a howl of rage, it charged towards her. Having no time to fire an Ice Beam, she quickly drew back her arm and threw a Focus Punch at her opponent's face. However, the Pokemon's teeth glowed with power and it caught her fist in its mouth, biting down with Thunder Fang (not to be confused with the sword of the same name), shattering her hand and the lower part of her arm. She staggered back, trying to use the cold from her own body to regenerate the missing limb, but the enemy slammed into her before she could get away, cracking her front, and savagely clawed at her surface, hitting her again and again with Thunder in between strikes. She screamed in agony and collapsed, large chunks of her body missing and large fissures and arcs of electricity crackling around her form. "Ugh…."

Registeel also tried to use Lock-On, putting his hands together and forming a ball of electricity that he hurled at his foe with a Zap Cannon. Rather than outrun it, his opponent decided to take it head-on, forming a fireball in its mouth and spitting it at the electric sphere. The two orbs collided in an explosion, throwing up a cloud of smoke between the combatants. Registeel, not wanting his foe to take advantage of the smog, started spinning and generated a Sandstorm that blew away the smoke and also buffeted the enemy with waves of gritty sand that abraded and cut at the skin. The Pokemon growled, grinned, and with a howl unleashed a tremendous blast of fire from its body, a blast so strong that it partially melted the floor, turned the billowing grains of sand into sparkling glass beads, and forced Registeel to shield himself with one arm and back away as the flames ate at his vulnerable metal skin.

Heat rolling off its body in nearly visible waves, the Pokemon stalked forward, a cruel grin on its face. It inhaled deeply and spat a tremendous Fire Blast at Registeel. Registeel countered with a Hyper Beam, the two super attacks colliding with a tremendous explosion. Registeel immediately Locked-On to his foe, the smoke from the explosion doing nothing to hinder his aim, and fired another Zap Cannon. A grunt from the other side of the smoke cloud told him it had been a direct hit, and also told him where to fire his next attack, a Rock Tomb. He stomped the ground hard, causing pillars of stone to burst out of the ground around his foe, trapping it long enough for him to fire another Hyper Beam when the smoke cleared, destroying the rocks and flinging the evil Pokemon against the far wall, the hard impact stunning it. Registeel might have been able to finish it off then and there…

If the other two Pokemon, finished with mauling his siblings, hadn't hit him from behind with a Hydro Pump and Thunder, throwing off his aim and causing the SuperPower he had been about to fire to miss and explode against the cave wall instead. The downed Fire Pokemon recovered and charged forward while Registeel tried to regain his footing, heat rippling across its body as it slammed into the Steel-type with an Eruption attack. The explosion was tremendous and shook the chamber, causing rocks to fall from the ceiling as Registeel shrieked in pain and staggered backwards into a crystal pillar, most of his face and the right side of his body melted into an unrecognizable lump of deformed slag by the force of the fiery attack. "Ahh…ahhh…ahhhhhh!" he moaned.

Doctor Tarantulas cackled while Chobin gleefully applauded. "Vell done, vell done my beautiful creations! I knew ze legendary golems could not stand against your power!"

"So much carnage! Chobin got goosebumps! Too bad there wasn't any blood…Chobin said in disappointment," Chobin said in disappointment.

"T-traitors…" Regirock gasped.

"How…could you?" Regice wheezed.

"I do not understand…why have you betrayed us?" Registeel moaned.

The Fire Pokemon grinned evilly. "Power. Control. The usual things, really."

"Want us to finish them, Doc?" the Electric Pokemon asked his master.

Tarantulas shook his head. "No, I need zem alive if I am to create ze Ultimate Shadow Pokemon! But now zat zey can't fight back…" His spider minions surged forward and covered the golems, who wailed and shook in alarm as the arachnid mechanoids began to spin their threads and trap them in nigh-unbreakable metal cocoons.

It was at that moment that Team Aurabolt arrived at the scene. They gasped when they saw that the Nihilators had breached the chamber, and Dr. Tarantulas was standing there at the entrance of the sacred ground along with Chobin, his spiders, and a rather large escort of Nihilator guards. But that wasn't half as shocking as seeing the legendary golems beaten and in the process of being cocooned…or the three evil Pokemon responsible for putting them in there. "No…it can't be…" whispered a shocked Ash.

"Impossible!" Michael yelled. "It has to be a trick!" Pipi and Mimi stared blankly, having no idea what was going on. You know, because they didn't have eyes.

"Dude…no way!" Leo shouted. He pulled out his camera and took a picture.

"Entei…Suicune…and Raikou?! What are you doing here?!" a horrified Pikachu yelled.

"That's…what we asked…" Regirock groaned.

"Hey, don't we know those guys?" asked Entei, a lion-like creature covered in brown fur with a gray cape surrounded by bony plates on his back, a thick mane, cuff-like bands on his legs, a red face with a white plate like a handlebar mustache, and a three-pointed yellow crest on his forehead.

Suicune, a blue cheetah-like creature with white rhombus-shaped spots on her flanks, two white streamer-like tails, a long flowing purple cape, and a hexagon-shaped crest on her forehead shrugged. "Maybe. All mortals tend to look alike after a while, especially the ugly ones. Which is all of them." She laughed haughtily.

Raikou, a yellow tiger-like creature with stripes like lightning bolts, a blue lightning bolt-shaped tail, a purple cape made of thunderclouds, a white face with a blue X-shaped plate mustache, red eyes and long upper fangs snarled angrily, electricity crackling around his body. "I remember them…those are the loser Lucario and half-pint Samurai wannabe who beat us up a few months ago!"

"Oh yeah, I remember now…let's kill them!" Suicune snarled. "They dared to defile my immaculate beauty!"

"And made me look like a chump, too!" Entei growled. "Nobody does that to me! NOBODY!"

"This…this can't be happening…" whispered a shocked Pikachu. "Ash…please tell me these are some kind of fakes…Dittos or robots or clones that the Doctor made!"

"I…don't know," Ash said uncertainly. "The energy from the Tree's heart makes it hard to see their Auras. They _could_ be fakes…"

"No way, guys…those are the real deal!" Leo said, scanning the beasts with his shades. "Entei, Raikou, and Suicune…fighting for the dark side!"

"Yeah…definitely the real ones," Regice moaned. "No fake could…possibly hit as hard…as they did!"

"N-no…this has to be a trick!" Michael stammered in denial.

The three beasts laughed. "No trick, kiddo. We're the three beasts of legend, in the flesh!" said Entei.

"And card-carrying members of the Nihilators!" added Raikou. "Well, not that we can carry cards. What do you think of that, huh?" Eyes shrunk, Michael staggered backwards, not sure what to make of this, of three of the Pokemon that his people revered and occasionally prayed to had joined the villains trying to destroy his home.

Tarantulas blinked in surprise. "You already know each ozzer? Hmm, vell, zat's a surprise…but in zat case I can cut ze introductions short! Puny Rescue Team, say hello to some of my most powerful creations yet…XD243, XD244, and XD245! But even zeir power is as nozzing compared to ze Ultimate Shadow Pokemon I vill be able to create vith ze help of zese three pawns over here!"

"Uh, Doc, we're standing right here," Raikou said.

"It's rather rude to belittle our strength when we're in earshot, you know," said an offended Suicune.

"Yeah, really!" said the annoyed Entei.

Tarantulas sweatdropped. "Ah, right, my apologies. Got caught up in ze moment." Team Aurabolt sweatdropped.

"Ultimate…no!" Registeel gasped, realizing what the Doctor was talking about. "You can't mean…"

"Not _that_ one!" Regice moaned.

"You can't release him! He'll destroy everything!" Regircok cried.

Tarantulas cackled. "Zat's ze idea!"

"This can't be happening," Pikachu repeated firmly. "They have to be brainwashed, or blackmailed, or tortured, or…or…" He sagged. "Oh, who am I kidding? These three probably jumped at the chance to become Shadow Pokemon the instant the Doctor offered it to them…they've always chafed at the tight leash Ho-Oh kept them on…"

Chobin nodded. "That they did, that they did…Chobin said."

"I don't understand," said the disbelieving Michael. "You three are supposed to be legendary Pokemon! Guardians of the Earth and the people who live here! Immortal god-heroes! How…how could you turn your backs on all that and join the Nihilators!?"

"That's…what we asked," Regice grunted.

"Easy," Entei snorted. "Being a guardian stinks."

"You get little if any pay, not much down time, you're always running around fixing other people's messes, and everyone always complains if you mess up and some natural disaster kills a few thousand people nobody cared about anyway. Sheesh!" said Raikou. "Mortals are such _whiners._ It's not like they were gonna live for much longer anyway!"

"And then there's that slavedriver of a boss, Ho-Oh, who's perfectly happy to sit on his fat ass preening himself and admiring his reflection while he sends us out to do all the dirty work, which he then takes the credit for half the time! And he has the gall to constantly call me ugly. Me! Suicune, the most majestic and graceful Pokemon alive!" Suicune said vainly, tossing back her crest and long purple hair. "But power is beauty, and now that I have enough Shadow power to surpass that bloated Combusken, I am the most beautiful Pokemon in the world!"

"That's a matter of opinion," Ash growled. He was never attracted to evil women. Or any women at all, actually. Except for one. Not that he admitted it to anyone, including himself, naturally.

"Yeah…from this angle…your butt looks _really _fat! Need to…cut down on the snacks much?" Regirock weakly taunted. Suicune snarled with rage and nearly attacked him, but an annoyed gesture from Tarantulas made her stand her ground.

"Now that we're Nihilators, we don't have to answer to anyone except the Doc and the big Boss! As long as we do a few things for them, we get all the power we want and can cause as much destruction as we feel like!" Entei said happily. "No more having to stop volcanoes when they threaten villages stupid enough to build houses on their slopes…now I can make them explode as much as I want! Lava and fire and smog everywhere! It's magnificent!"

"And we don't have to do anything stupid and worthless like helping people who are doomed to eventually die anyway anymore…now we can do whatever the hell we feel like! It's awesome!" said Raikou. "And all we had to do was fill our hearts with darkness. Seems like a fair trade to me!"

"You will regret this…decision…" Registeel groaned. "In the end…evil never pays, not for Pokemon like ourselves. You will be…punished for what you have done…for the oaths you have broken…the trusts you have betrayed…"

"Ah, can it, Metalmouth!" Raikou snarled. "You're one to talk! Millions of years of service guarding this stupid Tree, and what do you get out of it? Nothing, aside from infrequent vacations and getting wrapped up by robo-spiders to be used for the Doc's horrific experiments!"

"Sometimes…the best reward…is knowing that you've done your job well," Registeel retorted. "Loyalty can be its own prize."

"Plus…the fringe benefits…are pretty good too," said Regice.

"This is…" Michael trembled. His legs almost gave out under him. "I feel like my whole world has been turned upside down…" Pipi and Mimi hugged his sides sympathetically.

"I don't," Leo said. He shook his head in disappointment. "Every good adventure story has at least one group of villains who used to be good guys but had a crisis of faith or just lost interest and went over to the dark side! Never thought it would be these three, though…it just goes to show you that even legendary Pokemon succumb to greed, yeah?"

"I'm disappointed in all of you for still daring to call yourselves legendaries after doing something like this," Pikachu snarled. "But you especially, Raikou! You say it's stupid and worthless to help people? Then what do you call _this?!_" He drew his sword, the electrified steel ringing as it was pulled from the scabbard.

Raikou stiffened in recognition. "That's…!"

"You recognize it then?" Pikachu asked Raikou. "The legendary blade Thunder Fang? You should, since you had a part in making it in the first place!" He sliced his sword through the air, causing arcs of static to crackle past in its wake. "Generations ago, my ancestor Raiden forged this blade to defeat the evil warlord Temujin. He sought out you and Zapdos to bless the sword with your thunder and give it power. He used that blade to strike down Temujin and save the land…and it has been used by my ancestors ever since then as a weapon of justice! It has saved countless innocents, slain innumerable evils, and safeguarded peace and freedom in Kanjohenn and the rest of the world. It could have done none of that if you had not lent it some of your power, Raikou. Now tell me…" Pikachu glared at the yellow beast. "Would you call your action then stupid and worthless, considering all the good that has come of it?"

"Ha! You got…served!" Regirock laughed, even though it hurt him.

Raikou actually looked momentarily shaken by Pikachu's argument. After a moment, however, that surprise turned to anger. "…You stupid piece of shit. You just don't get it, do you?! None of that stuff matters! Nobody gives a fuck how many lives that thing's saved or how many people it's killed! And you know why? _Because it doesn't make a difference._" He laughed bitterly. "So you save a few lives? Big whoop! They're going to die sooner or later, that's the problem with you stinking mortals anyway! And since you reproduce like, well, mortals, there's always more of you to save and die! So you kill some bad guys? Doesn't matter! More'll always pop up eventually anyway! Nothing you do has any lasting impact! You can't save the fucking world, because the fucking thing's a fucking stupid broken piece of fucking machinery that can't be fucking fixed no matter how hard you try, so why even bother when you can't possibly fucking win?!"

They were taken aback by the legendary beast's language. "How…disgraceful…" Registeel said.

"…Wow. What a foul mouth," said Ash.

"Eh, I've heard worse on Internet forums," said an unimpressed Leo.

"Maybe because trying to fix it is better than doing nothing or just letting it go to ruin?!" Pikachu retorted.

Entei snorted. "Fixing stuff is for wusses. Destroying things is way more fun!"

"He actually has a point there…" said Leo. The others gave him incredulous looks. "What? Games where you get to blow stuff up are tons of fun! Then again, so are games where you get to restore broken worlds…hmm…which is better? So hard to choose…"

"So you're going to fight me, then?" Raikou sneered. "The god who gave your sword its power? Well, one of them, anyway."

"All I see before me is an enemy that needs to be defeated," Pikachu growled angrily. "God? Mortal? It doesn't matter to me. As a Thunderblade, I am sworn to strike down evil wherever I see it…and I definitely see a lot of evil in you, Raikou."

Raikou laughed. "You seem to forget, though…my power is a part of your sword! If I die, then so does my blessing! And all you'll have left is Zapdos' power, and your blade won't be nearly as effective with just him fueling it!"

Pikachu smirked. "I don't need to kill you to defeat you. And even if I do…'No matter how strong the blade, no matter how much history and magic is instilled in it, a sword is just a sword. It is the one who wields the sword that truly matters, for it is his will and the strength of his heart which slices through the foes more cleanly than any weapon ever could.'"

"Well…said," Registeel grunted approvingly.

"I didn't…get that," said Regirock. "Could you…say that again?"

"Oooh," said Leo, impressed by the cool line.

"Yeah, that's something his Dad told him," Ash said.

"Grandma says stuff like that to me all the time…I only understand half of it, though," Michael confessed.

Raikou barked with laughter. "Heh, you actually believe that bullshit? Fine! Let's fight! We'll see if you still think that once I wipe the floor with you and snap that little toothpick in two!"

Entei sweatdropped. "Has he forgotten we're here or something? I mean, he's not the only one who wants a fight…"

"Let's just quit the boring talk and massacre them already! I need some more beauty sleep…" Suicune said with a yawn.

"You'd need more than a little sleep…to fix up _your_ looks, sweetheart!" Regirock joked, causing Suicune to go berserk at the slight to her vanity and nearly attack him if the Doctor hadn't held her back again.

"Hmm…" Tarantulas stroked his chin. "I vouldn't mind testing more of your combat abilities against a real enemy, but…zat vill not be necessary. Ve have no need to fight anymore today."

This was a surprise to everyone in the room. "We don't?" asked the confused Ash.

"Uh, that's good, right?" Leo asked cautiously.

"This…cannot be good…" grunted Registeel.

"No fighting?! But why not?!...Chobin asked," Chobin asked.

"Hey, yeah, why not?" Entei asked. "I've still got plenty of fight left in me!"

Raikou nodded. "Yeah, we didn't even need to use Hyper Mode to take out those lame golems, I doubt these four will even make us break a sweat!"

"We're not _that _weak…" Pikachu muttered. "I mean, we beat you guys before, remember?"

Suicune sniffed haughtily. "Once you might have, but compared to us as we are now, you're not even a speck of dust before my magnificent beauty…and the other two's brute force and lack of brains, I suppose."

"Yeah, what she said!" said Entei. "Wait, what was that other part?"

"So what's the deal, Doc? Why don't you want us to fight them?" Raikou demanded.

Tarantulas chuckled. "Because zere is no need for you to do so. If my calculations are correct, at present zey have two Crystal Star Badges and ze magical map zat vill help us find ze remaining ones. I am going to make zem give it to me vithout any of you needing to lift a paw against zem."

"Oh yeah? How exactly are you going to do that?" Ash asked.

Michael nodded in agreement. "We'll never give them to you!"

Tarantulas grinned evilly. "Oh? Not even if I told you zat if you didn't, I vould auto-detonate ze control chips I planted in every single Caretaker still living in zis Tree, killing all of zem at once?"

The heroes gasped. "Oh no…" Regice whispered.

"Dammit!" Regirock swore.

"You…most certainly would do that, wouldn't you?" Ash groaned, realizing the mad scientist was really that twisted.

"Leo, that machine of yours, can it-" Michael asked desperately.

Leo shook his head. "No way, it's short-range, remember? If I could have shut down the chips in everyone at once, don't you think I would have done it by now?"

"We can still make a clean getaway if we use one of our Escape Orbs…" Pikachu muttered. "But…if we did that, then he'd kill everyone out of vengeance, wouldn't he? Damn…I don't know what to do."

Ash sighed unhappily. "I think there's only one thing we can do…Doctor Tarantulas! If we hand over what you want, will you let Michael's people go?"

"No," the Doctor said flatly. "But I von't carry through on my threat to kill zem all."

"How can we be sure you won't just kill them anyway the minute we give you the goods?!" Leo demanded.

"A good…question…" said Registeel.

Tarantulas chuckled. "You can't. I vould give my vord of honor, but as I'm sure you're avare by now, I don't actually have any. All you can do is give ze Stars and map to me and hope for ze best. And if you don't…" He shrugged his many legs. "Zen I'll kill all ze Caretakers and zen have my little pets here kill you. And trust me vhen I say zat no matter how tough you zink you are, you don't stand a chance against zem."

"You got that right!" Entei crowed.

"Heh, nice negotiating, Doc! You're one smooth operator!" Raikou said approvingly.

"I still wouldn't have minded a good fight, though…" Suicune pouted. "I've barely spilled any blood at all today; those stupid golems didn't have the slightest drop of liquid in them at all."

"At least we don't have any…messy, squishy organic stuff…that gets crushed so easily!" Regirock retorted. "Outside you may think you look hot, but inside…by which I mean your _real_ insides, not metaphorically…you don't look nearly as pretty." She snarled at him, but managed to hold herself back, for a change.

Ash closed his eyes in thought. "Michael. We could probably get out of here right now, but then your people would suffer. This is your home turf. What should we do?"

Michael sighed unhappily. "Registeel said we couldn't let them have the Emerald Star under any circumstances. As Protector of the Tree of Beginning, I am sworn to safeguard all its treasures. However…" He sagged. "Those treasures are nothing compared to my responsibility to the Pokemon in my care. If I managed to save the Star at the cost of their lives, I would be betraying my entire heritage. We have no choice. We have to give them the Stars."

"No…no!" Registeel protested, but his voice was silenced as the spiders finished their weaving and encased the three golems completely in their shiny metal threads.

Ash nodded slowly. "That's what I thought you'd say." He started rummaging in his knapsack.

Leo sighed. "Man, this blows…oh well," he said, perking up. "I'm sure we'll get a chance to take them back sooner or later. And-" He caught himself before mentioning that they already had a slight advantage over the Nihilators in that they knew where the next Star Badge was. That wasn't really something the bad guys needed to know just yet.

"Here," Ash said, reluctantly throwing the Diamond and Emerald Star Badges and the map case on the floor before the traitorous legendary beasts. "That's all we have."

"Giving in so easily? Heh. Coward," Entei sneered.

"It's cowardly to not want any innocent people to be hurt?!" Pikachu asked.

"Pshyeah," Raikou said. Pikachu growled.

Chobin giggled gleefully. "Oh joy! Two Stars and a map! Oblivion's Shadow will be pleased!...Chobin said."

Tarantulas nodded. "Yes, he…wait!" He glared at Ash. "Ze map case. Open it."

Ash started. "What? Why would you-"

"Just do it!" Tarantulas snapped. "Or ze Caretakers go bye-bye!"

Ash's shoulders slumped as his friends gave him puzzled looks. Reluctantly, he walked over to the case and opened it, revealing…that it was empty! As everyone else gasped, Tarantulas chuckled. "Nice try, but you can't fool a spider, ve're far too devious for zat! Let me guess, you vere counting on our inability to open ze case until ve got back to headquarters and had your friend Gardevoir do it, so ve vouldn't realize zat you had already removed ze map until it vas too late, ja?"

"Something like that…" Ash said unhappily.

"Whoa! Nice save, Doc! The Boss would've been _really_ pissed if we fell for something like that!" Entei said.

Raikou nodded. "He'd have hurt us pretty bad."

"And ruined my flawless beauty!" Suicune wailed in anguish.

"And taken off one of your few remaining limbs!...Chobin said," Chobin said.

"That's actually a pretty clever plan," said Pikachu, impressed.

"Yeah, I can't believe _Ash_ came up with it!" Leo agreed.

"Hey!" Ash snapped.

"What? I was just saying it's the sort of thing Pikachu or I would come up with," Leo said. "You're better at hand's-on stuff than trickery."

"Well, I guess that's true…" Ash admitted.

"A shame you aren't better at it, or you might have gotten avay vith it," said Tarantulas. "Now! Ze real map! Hand it over!"

Despondently, Ash reached into his knapsack and pulled out a rolled-up piece of paper. "This is it."

Tarantulas narrowed his real eye. "Not so fast. Show it to us first so zat ve know it's ze real thing and not some regular map of Sinnorre or something!"

Wordlessly, Ash unrolled the map. "Hey, it's blank!" Raikou cried.

"He's trying to fake us out again! Kill him!" Entei roared.

"And give me his eyeballs!...Chobin asked politely," Chobin asked politely.

"No, no, zat's ze real one," said Tarantulas. "It can only be seen by ze pure of heart…and I highly doubt any of us qualify for zat, don't you zink?"

"Then how do we know that's not just a regular blank piece of paper?" Suicune asked.

Tarantulas smirked. "Vhy vould he have been carrying a blank piece of parchment like zat around? And besides, he knows by now vhat happens if he tries to cross me…"

"Yeah," Ash said with a sigh. "Yeah, I do." He tossed the map—the real one—to the ground. Tarantulas' spider minions crawled over, grabbed the Star Badges and map, and brought them back to their master. They left the case behind. "You don't want the box?"

Tarantulas shook his head. "As long as ve have ze map, it is of no use to us. Now…" He glared at the Lucario. "Vhile I must admit I am impressed by your attempt at duplicity, if your deceit had worked I could have suffered dearly. As such, I am afraid I am going to have to punish you for your betrayal. Or razzer…punish someone _else…_"

Michael gasped as the others tensed. "But you promised-"

Tarantulas laughed. "I promised not to kill ze Caretakers, and I von't! I never said anyzing about your _grandmozzer…_Corporal?"

"I have her right here, sir," a Hitmontop said, holding up a bound, gagged, and severely mutilated and bleeding elderly Espeon. Team Aurabolt flinched when they saw what had been done to her, she looked even worse than she had when they first met her. The Doctor had clearly taken out his anger on their escape on the poor old Pokemon.

"Grandma!" Michael cried in horror, running forward…

Only for Entei to lob a fireball in his path. The Leafeon backpedaled in alarm, embers from the flames licking at his face. "Not so fast, half-pint! You aren't going anywhere!"

"Ash, what do we do?" Leo asked Ash desperately.

"I…um…" Ash said, racking his mind for ideas.

"Nozing. Kill her," Tarantulas commanded.

"Sir, yes sir!" the Hitmontop said, grabbing the Espeon by her head with one hand and her body with another and sharply pulling them in separate directions…snapping her neck and killing her.

The heroes gasped. Michael's heart stopped. "G-grandma?" he whispered.

"He…he actually…" gasped the horrified Leo. "He _killed_ her…right in front of us!"

"Of course he did," Pikachu said sullenly. "He said he would, didn't he?"

Ash's shoulders slumped, a deep sense of failure coming over him. "No…"

"Mmm, that looks tasty…hey Doc, can we have some?" Entei asked the Doctor.

"Sure, vhy not?" Tarantulas said, nodding to the Corporal, who tossed the Espeon corpse to the legendary beasts. They eagerly dug in; viciously ripping at flesh and spilling blood all over the place as they savagely devoured Michael's grandmother. Michael's eyes shrunk and he nearly passed out.

"Oh Arceus…" Leo whispered, turning green. "I think I'm gonna be sick…again…"

"So now you're cannibals too?!" Pikachu cried in disbelief.

"Guy's gotta eat," Raikou said as he chewed on one of Michael's grandmother's leg nubs, blood dripping from his mouth.

"And freshly killed meat tastes a lot better than that supplement carnivores like ourselves have been force-fed by so-called 'civilized' Pokemon for centuries," Entei said, nibbling on the Espeon's heart.

"And eating it makes my already-beautiful hair that much more luxurious, don't you think?" Suicune asked, throwing her head back as she ripped the top of the Espeon's head open so they could feast on the brains.

Chobin pouted. "Chobin thought Chobin was going to eat that!...Chobin complained."

"Oh, get over it, you big crybaby," Tarantulas said, rolling his eye.

"…What do we do now?" Pikachu wondered, feeling utterly defeated.

"Leave?" Leo suggested.

"Like this?" Pikachu replied.

"We've lost. What else are we supposed to do?" Leo asked bitterly.

"…" Michael stared ahead blankly.

"Michael…" Ash whispered apologetically. "I'm so sorry…"

"…" Michael started trembling. "Rrr…." He clenched his teeth. The floor started rumbling. "Rrrr…." The crystals on the wall and the heart of the Tree of Beginning started glowing brighter. Michael's eyes flashed (literally), abruptly turning a vivid green as a flaring emerald aura formed around his body. "RrrrAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

The chamber shook. Cracks snaked outward across the floor from Michael's glowing form. Startled, the legendaries stopped their feast and took a few steps back. "What the…what's going on?!" Entei cried.

"Zat's…a good question," said the alarmed Tarantulas.

"Is he supposed to be doing that?" Pikachu wondered, taking a step back from Michael, not sure what was happening.

"I don't think so…" said the surprised Ash.

"Ha!" Leo crowed triumphantly, realizing at once what was going on. "You idiots went and did it now! By killing his grandma, you pushed his berserk button and caused him to go into a superpowered rage mode! Now he's gonna tear you apart with the full power of the Protector of the Tree of Beginning! Booyah!"

This did in fact seem to be the case. As Michael's glow grew brighter and an expression of pure fury formed on his face, things started happening all around them. Antibodies oozed out from the walls. The floor split open and huge roots and vines with crystalline thorns burst out, waving angrily in the air. The antibodies and roots converged on the Nihilators as the room's shaking grew more intense.

"Uh, Doc, not to say I'm afraid or anything, but…DO SOMETHING!" Raikou yelled in alarm, firing lightning bolts at the vines and antibodies as they surged towards him. For every one he took down, however, ten more took their place.

"Aaahhh! Why didn't that old bag do something like this before, if she had this kind of power?!...Chobin asked incredulously," Chobin asked, clinging to the Doctor in fright.

"Doctor, we should retreat, I don't think we can take this many!" said the alarmed Hitmontop Corporal.

Tarantulas frowned as his spiders raced forward to meet the attackers, trying to hold them back from their master (and the organic Nihilators, incidentally). His gaze alighted on the Tree's heart, which was glowing and crackling with just as much energy as Michael was. "Hmmm…no. Zat vill not be necessary." His mechanical eye lit up, gathering power, and fired a red laser beam at the pulsating heart. The energy bolt struck the crystalline mass, causing it to briefly flash red instead of green.

Michael gasped, freezing in place, as did the monsters he had summoned. The immense and beautiful formation started to crack. Pieces and shards of crystal fell off. Shafts of light shone from holes and veins in its surface. It grew brighter and brighter until…

It exploded in a blinding flash of light. Michael screamed at an eardrum-shattering pitch as his connection to the Tree was severed, creating an energy backlash that made him feel as if his head was exploding as the voices of his ancestors wailed in agony and were abruptly silenced. He collapsed, his power fading. The red gem in his forehead dulled, a long ugly crack running through its surface. The antibodies and roots reeled back, writhing in pain, before disintegrating completely. "MICHAEL!" Ash and Pikachu gasped, racing to their fallen friend's side. Pipi and Mimi did as well, though they bumped into each other a few times and almost fell over due to the violent shaking of the floor under their feet.

Leo swore. "Ah, shit!"

Tarantulas cackled. "Just as I zhought! Ze power of ze Protector comes from ze Tree of Beginning itself…and vizout zat energy source, ze Protector is completely helpless!" He frowned. "Of course, since I just destroyed ze Tree's heart, zat means ze whole zing is going to die. Very shortly. Ve probably shouldn't be inside vhen zat happens."

His ominous words rang true. The chamber began shaking, more violently than before. All the crystals turned a glaring orange and red and started resonating violently, creating a jarring hum which grated at all their ears, causing particular pain to those with sensitive hearing like Ash and Pikachu. "Damn you, Tarantulas!" Ash shouted furiously as bits of rock and crystal started falling from the ceiling. "If you've killed Michael-"

"You'll do nozing. He's all right, see?" Tarantulas said as Michael groaned and opened his eyes. "Vell, maybe 'all right' is an overstatement…"

"Michael, are you all right?" Pikachu asked the Leafeon in concern. Pipi and Mimi hugged him to show they were glad he was still alive.

Michael shook his head, grimacing as a splitting headache nearly caused him to pass out again. "No…the Tree's dying…Grandma's dead…we lost the Star…I…I've failed…"

"Zat's right, you have," Tarantulas said cheerfully. "You've let down absolutely everyone and shamed your family legacy by failing. Your ancestors vill probably hate you forever. But don't vorry, zere's one bright spot to zis horrible mess you're in!"

"What's that?...Chobin asked," Chobin asked.

Tarantulas cackled evilly. "I'm going to reunite you viz your sister."

Michael's head shot up, causing him to wince again and see spots. "M-my sister?"

"She's here?!" Ash asked.

"Vhy yes…I brought her viz me for just zis occasion," the Doctor said with a cruel grin on his face. "Vould you like to see her?"

"I got a bad feeling about this…" Leo murmured as he saw similar grins form on all the Nihilators' faces, as if they knew something the heroes didn't. The Plusle and Minun tensed, for they knew the same thing as the Nihilators; had, in fact, seen it while under the Doctor's care, and were it not for their mouths being sewn shut they would have willingly (and unhappily) told the heroes of the Doctor's most horrible act yet.

"It has to be some kind of a trap," Pikachu agreed.

"Jovi…I have to see her!" Michael said, struggling to get up, only to fall back to the ground again in pain, his silent friends anxiously trying to keep him down so he wouldn't hurt himself. "Jovi…let me see her! Let me see my sister?"

Tarantulas' grin grew wider. "Are you sure you vant to? You may regret it later…"

"I have to see my sister! I've lost my grandmother, I've lost the Tree, I've failed my entire lineage…I'm not going to fail my sister, too! Let me see her!" Michael demanded.

Tarantulas chuckled and moved away from the door to the cave. "Okay…don't say I didn't varn you. Jovi? Vould you like to come out now? Your brother vould like to have a vord viz you. You remember him, don't you?"

The other Nihilators at the door moved out of the way, some chuckling maliciously. At first, only darkness was visible through the broken gateway. But then…

A huge metal spike, like the legs of one of the Doctor's machines, lanced out of the gloom and scraped against the ground. Then another spike appeared. And another. And another. And then the form they were all attached to pulled itself into the room, and poor Michael almost lost his mind when he saw what it was. "No…" Ash gasped.

"You…you sick…" Leo said in horror.

"Sweet Mew," Pikachu said, making the sign of Arceus' holy wheel.

"…Jovi?" Michael whispered in disbelief. Pipi and Mimi whimpered, glad for once they couldn't see what had been done to their friend and Michael's sister, though the memory of watching it done was burned into their minds forever.

The creature that had just entered the room looked like a larger version of one of Tarantulas' robot spiders, but with only four legs and no head. In its place was a long, snaking cable that rose into the air and ended in a large fluid-filled jar. In that jar was the decapitated head of a Vaporeon. Wires ran from the bottom of its neck to a speaker set at the base of the jar, causing it to say, "Michael. Michael. Michael. Michael," in a robotic tone of voice.

Michael stammered, his body trembling. "J-Jovi…Jovi…JOVI!"

"What the hell did you do to her?!" Ash demanded, a terrified part of his mind worrying if maybe they had done the same thing to Misty.

"It's pretty simple, actually," Tarantulas said with pride, actually _pleased_ with what he had done to the girl. "After I forced an evolution on her, I subjected her to a series of experiments zat required ze unique physiology of a Vaporeon. Zose experiments vere a complete success, however, zey took their toll on her mind and left her pretty much completely braindead and only able to say her brozzer's name. How touching to know zat she vas zinking of you, even vhen undergoing horrible mind-shattering torment, don't you zink?"

"Michael…Michael…Michael…" What was left of Jovi droned.

"No…_no…_" Michael whispered in denial.

"Since zere wasn't really much else ve could do vith her, and Chobin got bored of raping her after a vhile, ve decided to cut off her head, stick it in a preservative jar, and hook her up to a giant spider-bot," Tarantulas said.

"…Why?! Why would you do something like this?! What's the point?!" Pikachu asked, a horrified look on his face.

Tarantulas shrugged. "Ve vere bored."

"And she's much cooler now!" Chobin gushed. "Before, she was just a whiny little runt who always wept and complained when Chobin fucked her. Now she has laser vision! And can shoot rockets from her knees! And has acid for blood!...Chobin detailed."

"Yes, ve did good vork on her," Tarantulas agreed. "Still, I doubt she'll last very long against varriors of your caliber. She doesn't need to, though; she just needs to distract you long enough for us to make our getavay."

"I have to hand it to you, Doc, you sure know how to be a complete and total asshole," Raikou said, feeling slightly uncomfortable by what Tarantulas had done to Jovi.

"Hey, can you do the same thing to Suicune so that we don't have to hear her always ranting about how beautiful she is anymore?" Entei asked, not quite as uncomfortable as his brother.

"What?!" Suicune screeched.

"What's to stop us from chasing you down and giving you a beatdown after we…after we…" Leo trembled, his attempt at sounding tough breaking down. "Mercy kill a…a poor, innocent, broken little girl?"

Tarantulas giggled. "Nozzing. Except zat if you do, zen ze Caretakers die."

"What?!" yelled Ash.

Pikachu groaned. "Don't tell me. You'll activate the 'kill' switch in their heads if we chase after you."

Tarantulas snorted. "Not at all! Zat's too easy. No, zey vill die because I just transmitted a signal ordering all of zem to go into ze largest quarry in zis place and vait zere patiently until ze Tree collapses on top of zem and zey all die. If you rushed over zere, you might be able to use zat gizmo you built viz parts stolen from my lab to deactivate ze chips and save zem…however, it's on ze opposite side of ze Tree from vhere ve Nihilators vill be making our exit, so zere's no vay you can possibly rescue zem _and_ catch up to me before ze Tree dies and takes you viz it. According to my calculations, only twenty-three minutes and zirty-five seconds remain before vhat's left of the Tree's life-force runs out and ze whole zing collapses. Zat should give you just enough time to eizzer save ze Caretakers or pursue me, but not both. And if you are as noble and heroic as I zink you are, zen I already know vhat you vill choose to do."

Ash growled angrily and clenched his fists, Aura burning around them. "You…"

He started forward, but the Jovi-spider-thing abruptly leaped over the legendaries and landed right in front of him, nearly crushing him. "Michael. Michael. Michael. Michael," it said monotonously.

Tarantulas bowed. "And vith zat, I must be going now. Mustn't miss my flight! Auf Wiedersehen!" He turned and scurried through the doorway, followed by Chobin, the Nihilators, and his spiders, effortlessly carrying the wrapped-up golems with them.

"Don't think we're through, losers! The next time we meet, we'll TOTALLY cream you!" Entei promised.

"Entei, stop threatening them and move already, let's get out of here before this place falls down on us!" Raikou said, heading for the door.

"Hey, wait for me!" Suicune called, running after them.

The spider-mech stomped the floor angrily while the heart chamber continued to crumble around them and the severed Vaporeon head said, "Michael. Michael. Michael."

"What do we do? Fight that?!" Leo asked.

"I don't think we have a choice," Ash said, a sick feeling in his stomach. "If we're to have a chance at stopping the Doctor and saving those hostage Caretakers, we're going to have to go through this thing."

"Don't think of it as a living Pokemon," Pikachu said, trying hard to believe what he was saying. "Whoever Jovi used to be, she's long dead. This is all that's left."

"I don't think that's any consolation to him," Leo said sadly, indicating Michael, who seemed to have gone into shock and was unresponsive to everything around him, even worried shakes from Pipi and Mimi. "Poor guy's going through a heroic BSOD…"

Ash sighed and closed his eyes. "We'll have to deal with whatever the heck that is later. Right now, we need to fight. I only hope he can forgive us for what we're going to do…kill all that remains of his little sister."

"Michael…Michael…Michael…" the monster machine chanted as Ash, Leo, and Pikachu rushed forward to engage it in battle.

Michael squeezed his eyes shut and sobbed his heart out as what seemed like the last unbroken fragments of his entire world shattered around him. "Jovi…Jovi…JOOOOOOVIIIIIIIIII!"

…

Meanwhile, at Sky Tower…

The throne room of Rayquaza, Dragon God King (or semi-mortal incarnation of him, depending on who you asked), deity of the Dragonian religion, technical ruler of all the world's dragons (and a surprising number of ghosts), and master of Sky Tower was a fairly opulent chamber, as one would expect from a mighty dragon lord. Made completely out of solidified clouds, everything had a beautiful marble hue to it. Sculptors had masterfully constructed the clouds making up the throne room so that towering dragon statues rose on all sides with glittering eyes made from crystallized dew and raindrops, colorful murals of several of the King's greatest feats decorated the walls, a mosaic on the floor detailed Rayquaza himself encircling the globe and biting his own tail (Why he was doing this, nobody knew, not even Rayquaza. The artist had been a little funny in the head, but then again, weren't most artists?), and a chandelier that looked like it was made out of frozen lightning dangled from the ceiling with several crystallized dewdrops hanging from the underside.

Rayquaza himself--a large green dragon with rudder-like wings, yellow rings, two limbs with three-clawed carpals, a pair of long, flat horn-like structures growing from the back of his head above two smaller horns, yellow eyes and red teeth--rested on a great platform at the back of the room piled with gold and jewelry (only a fraction of his full treasury, naturally), his long serpentine body coiled up around him and partially buried beneath his treasure, beneath an immense circular window made of multicolored planes of crystallized rain depicting a winged dragon in flight. A Shedinja that seemed absolutely tiny compared to the divine dragon's bulk hovered next to the ruler's head. Both of them were currently staring at a pair of female Salamence who were standing before Rayquaza, attempting to plead for his assistance in a domestic matter while a rather oblivious young Bagon sat on the floor picking his nose between them. "So you see, Your Worshipfulness, my roommate and I both got knocked up at this party, and we gave birth at about the same time, and were all happy and stuff because we figured our kids would be best friends just like we are, you know?" one of the Salamence said. "And when our eggs hatched, it looked like it was going to be that way."

"And then one night her baby died, so she snuck into my room and switched the Bagons so that she had a living kid and I was stuck with the dead one! And when I confronted her about it, she had the gall to insist that the live baby she had had been hers all along, while the dead one was really _mine_! As if I couldn't tell my precious little dragonet from anyone else's!" the other Salamence said indignantly.

"And I keep telling her she's crazy and that I did no such thing and it's _her_ baby that's dead and this child here is mine and was mine all along!" the first Salamence claimed. "Like I wouldn't recognize the fruit of my loins who popped out of his egg like the most precious thing that's ever been born! Isn't that right, sweetums?" she asked the Bagon, who grunted noncommittally.

"So we came to you, O All-Knowing Supreme Dragon, to determine once and for all whose mother this child belongs to," the second Salamence said, bowing reverently.

Rayquaza frowned and leaned his head over to the Shedinja; his majordomo, leading general and trusted advisor Nuken, and whispered, "I thought I told you to clear all my appointments and meetings since Latias is here. Why are these two still pestering me?"

"They were rather insistent they see you and wouldn't take no for an answer," Nuken replied. "And their problem is rather trivial, so I thought you could probably take care of it before Latias and her friends get here, especially if Missy stops to gossip along the way. Ugh…that woman never stops talking…"

"Hmm…" Rayquaza grunted.

"I could have them executed, though, if you really don't want to deal with this now," Nuken said perhaps a _little_ too eagerly.

"Ah, I don't think that will be necessary," Rayquaza said quickly. "I think I can clear this up pretty easily." He turned back to the women. "Why don't you just take a DNA test and see which of you the child matches?"

The Salamences stared at him blankly. "A DNA test?" one asked.

"What's that?" asked the other.

Rayquaza blinked. "Huh? You don't know?"

"They're from the boondocks, sire," Nuken whispered to his liege. "They don't know what DNA is. Or most of the other things that the more civilized areas of the world possess. Like indoor plumbing."

"Ah," said Rayquaza. "Then could we-"

"Imperial Nurse Joy's DNA scanner is broken, sad to say," Nuken informed him. "Somebody sat on it. My investigation has yet to determine who, but I'll find him sooner or later…and make him suffer the consequences."

Rayquaza frowned. "Hmm. How inconvenient. Oh well, there's still an easy way to figure this out. Ahem! Youngling!"

The Bagon looked up. "Yeah?"

"Which of these Salamences is your mother?" Rayquaza asked him.

He shrugged. "I dunno."

Rayquaza and Nuken facefaulted. "What do you mean, you don't know?!" Rayquaza demanded. "How can you not recognize your own mother?!"

"If I could, do you think we'd be here?" the Bagon said.

"Don't talk to His Omnipotence like that!" one of the Salamences scolded.

"Don't you talk to _him_ like that!" the other retorted. "He's my son, not yours!"

"No, he's mine!"

"No, mine!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!

"MINE!"

"MINE!"

"_MINE!"_

"_MIIIIIIINE!"_

"_Now_ can I execute them, Sire?" Nuken asked.

Rayquaza sweatdropped. "I'm considering it…" He pondered this dilemma for a moment. "Aha! I have a solution." He drew himself up regally, and the women stopped their bickering to hear to his ruling. "Since it cannot be presently determined which of you is this Bagon's true mother, I'm going to assign both of you joint custody of him by marrying you so that both of you will be his mothers."

The Salamences gasped. "You mean we get to be part of your harem?!" one of them cried hopefully.

"OhmiArceus, I could just die! I never thought I'd get to live in the Sky Tower and have sex with the Dragon God King all the time!" the other squealed.

"Wh-what?! No! Why does everyone think I have a harem?! I'm _single_, dammit!" cried the alarmed Rayquaza, horrified by the thought of being wed to these two. "What I meant is that I'm marrying you two to _each other_, which is well within my power and legal right as your king and god."

They gave him confused looks. "But…we're not lesbians!" one of them protested.

"So?" said Nuken. "The King's word is law. You'll get married if he wants you to be married. _Or else._" Lighting flashed by ominously in the sky visible through the window and thunder clapped. The Salamences wailed in fright.

Rayquaza blinked. "Huh, that's funny; I don't remember decreeing any thunderstorms today." He flicked his tail, causing the weather to return to normal. "Where were we?"

"You were about to marry these dragons so that the Bagon will have two mothers," Nuken said.

"Ah, yes." Rayquaza reared up, partially uncoiling himself so that he towered over the Salamences, his horns nearly scraping the ceiling. "Now…what were your names again? Oh never mind, it's not important," he said before they could tell him. He cleared his throat and spread his arms. "We are gathered here today to witness the union of these two dragons in holy matrimony. Is there anyone here who objects to this marriage?"

Both the Salamences were about to protest, but when Nuken gave them a look that could cause milk to curdle, flowers to wilt, and lesser Pokemon to drop dead, they paled and kept silent. The Bagon, not really caring, kept picking his nose. Rayquaza glanced about. "No objections? Good. Then by the power vested in me by…well, me, I hereby declare you wife and…er, other wife. You may now kiss the…ah…each other. Mazel Tov!" He rooted about in his treasure heap for a wine glass that would probably not be missed and smashed it underneath his tail.

"But-" they stammered.

"He said _kiss_," Shedinja whispered from right next to them in the kind of voice that implied he'd do horrible things to them if they didn't start making out right that moment.

They quickly started kissing vigorously and passionately. Whether it was because they actually were into each other or because they believed all the nightmarish rumors they'd heard about the King's right-hand bug was anyone's guess. "Can we go home now?" asked the bored Bagon who all the fuss was about.

"Yes, you probably should, I'm expecting to see someone else in a minute," Rayquaza said. "A very dear friend."

"You heard the God King. Out! Out!" Nuken snapped, pushing the three smaller dragons out of the room. Yes, all by himself. He didn't become the highest military officer in Rayquaza's army by nepotism, bribery, or butt-kissing, after all.

The new 'family' was removed from the throne room just in time, as only seconds later Latias, Latios, Yamiri, and Sabrina entered the chamber, led by Missy, who was giving a running narration of the history and backstory behind just about everything they saw…in excruciating detail. Sabrina and Yamiri actually looked fascinated by the information, Latias had heard it before so just tuned it out, and Latios looked as if his brain were trying to crawl out of his ear and run for freedom. "…And that was his last work before he died in a tragic accident by choking on a pretzel, but he came back as a ghost and has continued to serve his King by creating countless masterpieces in the centuries since then. There's some debate among critics as to whether death has made his work better or worse. I personally prefer his new style, but that's just me. What do you think? Nuky-Nuk doesn't really care about art and I don't get to talk to many people about this sort of stuff since they always have to run off and take care of some very important business every time I start having a really long conversation with someone. Nuky-Nuk says it's because I talk too much, but I don't think I talk too much, do you think I talk too much?"

"No," Latias said automatically.

"Not really," Yamiri said politely.

"I've known worse," said Sabrina honestly.

"Kill me," Latios said, his eye twitching.

Missy giggled and turned around. "And now we're in the throne room, where His Most Eminent and Immortal Majesty Rayquaza holds court. Hi Your Magnificence!"

"Er, hello Missy," Rayquaza said, sweatdropping and wondering why everyone insisted on calling him such…well…odd titles. "Thank you for bringing our guests up. Could you please go find Nuken and make sure he's not treating my last, ah, supplicants too harshly? I'd like to speak to Latias and her friends in private."

"Sure thing!" Missy said cheerfully. "Oh, Nuky-Nuk, where are you?" She vanished.

"Energetic, isn't she?" Sabrina marveled.

Yamiri chortled. "And some say the undead lose their spark when they die. They've never met spirited…er, spirits like her, I wager."

"She's a little flighty and overenthusiastic at times, but she's incredibly efficient and good at getting the job done," Rayquaza told them. "Now…" He smiled, his mood (which had been okay at the time, nothing special) lightening considerably upon seeing Latias, who he most definitely had a crush on that all of his servants knew about. Unlike most of the other Pokemon with crushes shown previously, he was actually aware of his feelings for Latias, but was too timid to broach the subject, something that exasperated Nuken, Missy, and pretty much everyone else to no end. He was the Dragon God King after all, what reason did he have to be scared of talking about love to the girl he liked? "Latias. How can I help you? Missy told me you needed to see me on some urgent matter. Something about the end of the world?"

Latias nodded. "Yeah. You see, Ray-"

_Oh, so you're on a nickname basis now?_ Latios thought sourly.

Latias ignored him. "You see, Ray, it's like this…"

They proceeded to explain the matter to the holy wyrm. The more he heard, the more alarmed Rayquaza became, as he realized this was something a lot more disastrous than your standard meteor, climactic hazard, or Groudon and Kyogre waking up on the wrong side of the bed and fighting each other again. A deep sense of anxiety and doubt rose up in him. It sounded a lot larger than any disaster he'd ever been called upon to deal with before. "So…let me get this straight. Some diabolical mastermind is trying to destroy Pokemon Square and release an ancient evil by opening a sealed doorway beneath Treasure Town, which will somehow result in the potential destruction of the entire Omniverse, and the only way we can prevent this from happening is by using Latias, Latios, and myself—who apparently form some kind of trinity that corresponds to another, more cosmic triad—to summon one of Arceus' most powerful servants to our world to save the day?"

"Essentially, yes," said Sabrina.

"That's the long and the short of it," said Yamiri.

"So, can we count you in, Ray? It could be fun," she said with a smile. "And it would mean we'd get to spend more time together. You're always saying you wish you could see more of me but your duties keeps getting in the way."

_Don't you see enough of him already?_ Latios asked sullenly.

_At most I only get to see him once every other week!_ She retorted, getting fed up with her brother's attitude towards her and Rayquaza's friendship.

_That's once every other week too many!_ Latios replied stubbornly. She rolled her eyes.

Rayquaza coughed and fidgeted awkwardly with his claws. "Well, I…appreciate your telling me this…and I understand just how serious this catastrophe could be, but…I…" He looked down, unwilling to meet Latias' eyes. "I'm sorry, but I can't help you. You've come all this way for no reason. There's nothing I can do."

…

Meanwhile, in Volcano Cave…

"Hmm…" said Gary, observing their surroundings. They were in a huge cavern, standing on a C-shaped ledge overlooking a deep pit at the bottom of which was a small stone island with a treasure chest on it sitting in the midst of a veritable ocean of spikes. A ladder ran down the side of the pit to the spikes, but there was no way anybody would be stupid enough to try climbing it. At the end of the ledge closest to them was a huge pot of water so big and so heavy that even the strongest Pokemon in the world would have trouble moving it. On the opposite side of the ledge, at the other end, was a tall wooden pillar ending in a claw holding an immense stone orb standing next to a sealed door. A shallow depression ran from the base of this pillar to the water-filled pot.

"Hmm…" Gary said, looking at the ramp cut into the wall about midway between the orb and the water that led up to another pot full of boiling lava, guarded by several Magmar, Camerupt, Magcargo, Gastrodons, Torkoals, and other fiery cave-dwelling Pokemon.

"Hmm…" Gary said one last time, looking at a saw they had found near the water pot. It was beautifully crafted, made of gold, and encrusted with jewels, and the saw blade was actually made of _diamonds_ of all things.

"Okay," he announced at last, turning to his team. "I believe I have solved this puzzle!"

Evan squeezed Gooey, causing the Octillery to moan in pain as he squirted out more water into the thirsty Mary's mouth. "Oh, don't tell me," hissed the Ekans. "You're going to ussse that sssaw to cut down that pillar, causssing the orb to roll along the track and knock over thisss pot so that the pit fillsss with water, then we have to go up that ramp and beat up thossse guardsss so we can knock over the lava pot and pour lava into the pit, which will harden on contact with the water and create a sssolid platform we can use to reach the chest, take the key inssside, and ussse it to open that door over there?"

Gary stared at him incredulously. "What? No, that's just stupid!" He tossed the saw to Mary, who yelped and ducked so that she wouldn't get cut by its diamond-sharp edges. "Mary, hold onto this, I bet we could sell this for quite a pretty penny! I'll be right back."

He levitated into the air, flew down into the pit, and landed on the island, completely avoiding the spikes. He then opened the chest, pulled out the key inside, and flew back to his partners. "There! Simple as that."

Mary shook her head in disbelief. "Who the heck designed these puzzles? They didn't seem to take into account that Pokemon like us don't have to follow the same rules that human explorers would."

"Oh well, their losss isss our gain," Evan said.

Gooey blinked in surprise. "You mean that's it? You're not going to abuse me in some horrible way to open the way to the next area?"

"Not this time," said Gary.

"Wow," said the astonished Octillery. "I think this is the first time in this whole damn cave I've gone an entire room without getting hurt in a comedically sociopathic manner, aside from being used as a source of water for rehydration!" As if on cue, a large rock fell from the ceiling and broke on his head, causing a huge bump to swell up. "Ow…"

"You really ssshould have learned by now not to sssay ssstuff like that," Evan said unsympathetically.

Mary nodded in agreement. "Yeah, you're just asking for trouble that way."

"You're telling me…" Gooey moaned.

"Oh well, easy come easy go," Gary said, holding the key into the air triumphantly. "Now, onward! We still have a lot more ground to cover…"

"And more abuse for poor me?" Gooey whimpered as they dragged him towards the door to the next area.

"Probably," Gary said. Gooey groaned.

"…" Maren shook her head from the shadows. "Well, I'll say this for them. They may not be the most considerate of individuals, but they seem to be pretty good at cutting through the Gordian knot, so to speak…" She continued following them as they trekked deeper into the cave.

…

Wow. I think this is my longest chapter yet. Good thing I had all Spring Break to write it!

So, as far as villains in my stories go, how would you rank Doctor Tarantulas?


	20. The Wrath of Arackaiser

Sorry if it's been a while, but school interfered again and I had to write something for a friend. Anyway, enjoy the conclusion to the Tree of Beginning arc!

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters that don't belong to me.

A/N: This chapter is dedicated to my (deceased) Uncle David and anyone else who's recently suffered a death in their families, whether to cancer or something else.

…

The fight was short, dirty, and brutal. The Jovi-bot put up a good struggle, and it spilled acid all over the place that nearly ate through Leo's shell when they cut off one of its legs and he happened to be standing too close at the time, but in the end it proved to be no match for Team Aurabolt. Even Leo managed to get in a few good hits, with his sunglasses telling him where to aim at certain weak points and design flaws in the machine's superstructure. After a few minutes of frenzied battle, it finally collapsed, its last few remaining legs buckling underneath its weight as acid and fuel gushed from gaping wounds all over its body and electricity crackled all over its form. Its head and long neck twitched spastically, its voice becoming distorted and more disturbing as the life faded from it. "Mi-Mi-Michael…MIChael…MiCHAEl…Michaeeeelll…"

Finally, the last bit of power drained from it, and the neck swung down, smashing the head case against the ground and causing all the contents to come rushing out and flow into a puddle at Michael's feet. The shell-shocked Leafeon stared blankly as his sister's severed head looked up into his eyes, said "Michael," one last time, and melted into nothingness.

"J-Jovi…" Michael whispered, trembling all over. Pipi and Mimi clung to him to try and give him their support…and also so they didn't get separated from the group and bump into a wall or something again.

"Wow," said Leo, somewhat pale. "Talk about high-octane nightmare fuel." Pikachu nodded vacantly, a troubled look on his face. He could all too easily have imagined that being _his_ little brother's head Tarantulas had put on his machine. He couldn't even begin to imagine how Michael had to be feeling…

And, as callous as it might have sounded, he really didn't want to. Ever. As annoying and outright bizarre his little brother could be sometimes, Pikachu couldn't conceive of a world without Pichu. The very thought of him dead terrified him and made him wish that he never had to experience what was happening to Michael right then. No matter how strong a warrior he was or would one day become, he wasn't sure he could take something like that happening to him or his loved ones.

The sad thing was, though…for Pokemon who lived the life they did…losses like this weren't just a risk, they were almost inevitable. Pikachu prayed to Arceus that his loss, when and if it should occur, would not be for a very long time coming.

Ash panted and used some Potion to mend some of the damage he had gotten during the fight. "So," he asked as the adrenaline rush from the battle ebbed. "What now?"

Pikachu glanced at the ceiling, which was still quaking and occasionally showering debris on them. "The shaking's gotten worse. The Tree doesn't have much time left before it gives out."

"If the Doc's estimate is right, we should still have about twenty minutes left before the thing collapses," Leo calculated. "But…what do we do with that time? We can either chase after the Doctor, or save the hostages. We can't do both, can we?"

"Maybe we could split up? Some of us pursue the Doctor, while the rest go to rescue the remaining Caretakers?" Pikachu suggested.

Leo frowned. "But there's only three of us, considering that Michael's not really in any condition to fight at the moment! That means that one of us is going to have to tackle one of those objectives all by ourselves."

Ash nodded. "And while I can probably track the Doctor and his mons by following their Aura trails, now that the Tree's life is fading away, I have no idea where he's holding those hostages. We don't know the layout of this place at all. We could spend all the time we have left to us searching, and still never find them."

"But we can't just abandon those people!" Pikachu argued.

"I know that, and I don't want to!" Ash replied. "But I'm not sure what other choice we have!"

"Maybe we could ask Pipi and Mimi?" Leo suggested. "They live here too, after all."

Ash and Pikachu stared at Leo. "Leo," Pikachu said slowly, as if to a child. "Pipi and Mimi can't say anything because their _mouths are sewn shut._"

"Then we cut 'em open!" said Leo.

"Even if we did that, they're still blind, so wouldn't really be able to guide us effectively, and we'd just wind up going around in circles," Ash pointed out. "Plus, I doubt they've ever been this deep inside the Tree before, since they don't have the same responsibilities Michael did. They might not have any more idea where the hostages are being held than we do."

Leo sagged. "Oh, yeah…that's a good point. But…but what are we supposed to do then?! If chasing the Doctor's the only viable option for us…but we can't let those Caretakers die! What're we supposed to do?!"

"I'll go."

It took them a moment to realize Michael had spoken. "Michael?" Pikachu asked incredulously as the Leafeon staggered to his feet, shaking Pipi and Mimi off of him.

"I'll do it," Michael said, steel in his voice. "I know where they are. I can save them. I _have_ to."

"Michael, you're not…I mean…after what just happened, I don't think…" Ash stammered uncertainly, trying to think of the most polite way to tell Michael that he wasn't really in any condition to help.

"No!" Michael interrupted, somewhat desperately. "I _have_ to go. I'm the only one who can!" He gnashed his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut. "It's…it's all I can do now. The Tree is dead. Grandma's dead. My sister…my sister is dead. I've let down my entire heritage. But…if there's a chance that I can save even one of the people whom it is my duty to protect…then there's no way I can pass it up. It's all I have left…it's the only way I can come even close to redeeming myself. Please…" He started crying again. "Don't force me out of this. I'm hurting terribly, just as you say…but that's not going to stop me from saving my people! It's…it's what everyone would want me to do. What I _have_ to do. It's my destiny, even if I've failed everything else." He glared at them. "And even if you say no, I'm still going. I _dare _any of you to try and stop me."

"…Whoa. He means business," said Leo.

"Okay," said Ash, knowing there was no way they could dissuade Michael from helping. And the Leafeon was right, in the end, it was probably the best thing he could be doing. "If you're sure you're up to it, then you can help us save your people. We wouldn't think of trying to hold you back. We understand that it's something you've got to do."

"But not alone!" Leo said. "Like I said before, whenever someone thinks they have to do something on their own is when they _most_ need help from somebody else!"

Pikachu nodded in agreement. "He's right. Considering the recent…shock you just had, I don't think it would be safe for you to go by yourself. I'll come with you. My sword will be there to support you should something happen."

Michael nodded, looking somewhat relieved that they were letting him do this. "Thank you. I appreciate the help."

"You don't want me to go with him?" Leo asked, somewhat surprised. "I'd have thought you'd need me to disable the chips in everyone's heads so we can get them out of there!"

Pikachu shook his head. "You're the least experienced one of us, Leo. Considering the backlash he got from the Tree's heart exploding, there's no telling how much power Michael still has left. It'd be better for one of the better fighters to go with him, and since Ash is the only one who can track the Doctor and his men, that means it has to be me."

Leo nodded. "Okay then…" He reached into his shell and pulled out his chip-disabling machine. "Here. Since I'm not going, you're going to need this. Like I said before, it only works short-range, but if all the remaining Caretakers are crowded together you should be able to destroy all their chips with a few good pulses." He handed the machine to Pikachu.

"How do I use it?" Pikachu asked, eyeing the contraption uncertainly. It looked like it might fall apart at any minute…was that duct tape and _chewing gum_ of all things holding it together?!

"It's really simple," Leo said, launching into an incredibly complicated and detailed series of instructions that Pikachu only quarter-understood. "Got that?"

"Uh…" said Pikachu.

"Good! You should have no problems," Leo said cheerfully. Pikachu sweatdropped.

"Take my Golden See-Trap Orb," Ash said, handing the Orb to Pikachu. "It'll help you find and avoid any traps along the way. Since the Tree's Aura is fading, I should be able to detect any surprises the Doctor leaves for us on my own. Do you have enough Escape Orbs?"

Pikachu nodded. "Plenty. They should be more than enough to teleport everyone out of the Tree. Where should we meet you?"

"How about where I first ran into you guys?" Michael suggested. "It's pretty far from the Tree, so we probably won't run into any lingering Nihilators there. And…" He shook slightly, but regained control over himself. "When the Tree…dies…we should be out of range of whatever happens."

The other three exchanged worried looks. "Michael," Pikachu said gently after a moment. "Are you sure you're up to this? I know you feel like you have a responsibility to your people, but I don't think any of them would fault you for sitting this out if…if you need some time to recover, especially after what just happened."

Michael stiffened. He growled angrily. "You don't think I can do this?!"

"Dude, we're sure you can do this," Leo said quickly. "But you know as well as we do you're not okay! You just had a pretty bad breakdown a few minutes ago—and for good reasons, too--and I know enough about that sort of thing to tell that you snapped out of it _way_ too fast to be over everything completely. You're going to crash again very hard and very soon, and we don't want you getting yourself—or anyone else—hurt when that happens!"

"…" Michael sighed, acknowledging Leo's point. "You're right. I probably am going to crash again. But…" He narrowed his eyes in determination. "I'm going to hold it together for as long as I can. If I walked out now when I knew there was still something I could do, no matter how…psychologically unfit I might be at the moment to do it…I would never be able to forgive myself." His ears flattened against his skull in sadness. "And considering what's already happened…I don't know if I ever will be able to anyway. I don't want another failure on my conscience. And I know you're going to tell me that it wasn't my fault and there's nothing I could have done, but that isn't going to make me feel the least bit better. So I have to do my best to try and fix something that I think I _can_ do something about, or else I'll feel completely worthless and that everything in my life up to this moment has been for nothing. Understand?"

They did. "If that's the case, before you and Pikachu go, there's one thing we need to do," Ash said, glancing at Pikachu, who nodded and took out their Rescue toolbox.

"We would have done this sooner, but ever since we met you we've sort of been running from one place to another, and just didn't have the time," Pikachu said, fishing through the toolbox. "So, while we have this moment to ourselves…Michael, we would like to formally induct you into Team Aurabolt." He pulled out an ascot and official badge, both identical to the ones Leo was wearing (but not the ones Ash and Pikachu were wearing, because those were special Diamond-ranked badges).

"Ooh, neat!" said Leo.

Michael gasped. "You…want me to join your team? Officially, I mean?"

Ash nodded. "Definitely. You've been a great help to us ever since we got here. You've fought well and struggled hard and assisted us in our mission. According to Rescue Team bylaws, we're pretty much required to offer any Pokemon who does that sort of thing for us out in the field a place on the team."

"I…are you sure you want me, though? I mean, after…" Michael hesitated. He swallowed and pressed forward. "Do you really think I deserve to be a part of your team? After everyone else I've let down?"

"Yes," Ash said without a moment's hesitation.

"If anything, you're overqualified," Pikachu said with a smirk. "Just take the position already. And wear the badge and ascot with pride. Because, no matter what sorts of curveballs and pain life throws at you…or already has…you'll always know that you're a part of a larger, exclusive brotherhood."

"Well, we're not that large," said Ash. "But you know what we mean."

"I-I don't know what to say," Michael said, profoundly touched.

"How about yes?" Leo suggested.

"…Okay. Yes. Yes! I will join your Rescue Team!" Michael decided.

"Good," said Pikachu, carefully tying the ascot around Michael's neck and pinning the badge to his chest. "We weren't going to take no for an answer."

"…This is amazing. I don't know how, but I feel…stronger somehow," Michael marveled as he looked down at his glittering badge. "Like…like my sorrow and guilt have lessened. I mean, they're still there, but…I feel like I don't have to bear them alone. Is this what it means to be part of a Rescue Team?"

Leo nodded. "Yep! That's the Power of Friendship for you!"

"Now, wherever you go, even if our ways should part, a part of us will always be with you," Pikachu told Michael. "So long as you wear that badge and stay true to the Rescue Team cause, our hearts will always be together."

"Plus, it's a nifty way out of trouble if something bad should happen," Ash added. "If you're in a really tight spot and there's no other way out, just tap the badge and call for 'Scotty' to rescue you and you'll be out in a jiff."

"Scotty?" asked the confused Michael.

"He's a friend of ours back home who helps coordinate and keep an eye on Rescue Teams out in the field," Pikachu explained. "All Rescue Team badges issued by Pokemon Square have transponders in them connected to Scotty's computer. When a Rescue Team activates that transponder and requests help, Scotty can triangulate on the signals from their badges and teleport them to safety."

"Ooh, really? You never told me that! Though that sounds oddly familiar…" said the impressed Leo, looking at his own badge with new interest. "Hmm, I wonder if I could take mine apart and see how it works, then figure out a way to make it _stronger_…"

Ash and Pikachu sweatdropped. "Please don't…" said Ash.

"Scotty would kill you," Pikachu agreed.

The chamber shook…some more. That reminded the team that they had a job to do. "We'd better get going," said Ash. "We've probably spent too much time here as is. They could be on their way out of here by now!"

"Not to mention we probably have much less time left before the Tree collapses," Pikachu agreed.

"Don't worry, talking's a free action. None of the stuff we discussed here had any impact on our time limit," Leo assured them. He paused. A horrified look crossed his face. "Unless…this is like one of those cutscenes where the clock keeps _ticking_ while everyone is talking and talking and if you spent too much time exploring previously time runs out mid-scene and you have to start all over and _holy shit we've got to get moving_!" He paused, and then turned to Ash and calmly asked, "Could you please carry me so that I don't slow us down?" The others facefaulted at his incredibly abrupt mood whiplash.

"Uh, yes?" Ash said uncertainly.

"Great!" Leo said, leaping onto Ash's back and nearly knocking him over. "Let's go!"

"We probably should too, if we're going to save my people!" Michael said to Pikachu.

Pikachu nodded. "If all goes well, we'll meet you guys where we first ran into Michael. You have Escape Orbs too, right?"

"Right," said Ash. "So we shouldn't have any problem getting out of here once we get the map and the Badges back from the Doctor. And rescue the golems too, if we can."

"Ash!" Michael said. "When you run into the Doctor…" His face twisted in an expression of hatred. "If you can…kill him, would you? I think it's time he faced justice for everything he's done."

"You don't want to finish him yourself?" Leo asked.

Michael shook his head. "I want justice for what happened to Jovi…but it doesn't matter who does it. So long as someone makes him pay for all the Pokemon he's hurt…for the things he's done to my people, my family, and countless others…I'll be satisfied."

"Wise plan," said Pikachu. "Going on a bloodthirsty path of vengeance isn't the right thing for any Pokemon to do." He frowned, recalling the ninja Buneary who had crossed their path twice now. "No matter how alluring it can sometimes be…"

The cave rumbled…harder…again…again. The crystal pillars cracked and larger pieces of rock started falling from the ceiling. A few fires burst out spontaneously, as well. "And that's our cue to get going," said Leo. He kicked Ash in the sides. "Ya, mule! Giddyap!"

"Kick me again and I'm throwing you off," Ash growled.

"Yes sir," Leo whimpered.

"He's right, though. Let's go!" Pikachu said.

Michael nodded. "To save my people, while there's still time!"

"Otherwise, it's rocks fall, everyone dies," said Leo.

"Pretty much, yeah," said Pikachu.

They rushed out of the room. A few seconds later, Pikachu and Michael ran back in, grabbed Pipi and Mimi—whom they had forgotten about—and ran back out again.

…

The Nihilators had blasted an enormous hole in the side of the Tree of Beginning to make room for a hangar bay where they could park, refuel, and maintain their small fleet of airships when they weren't using them. As the Tree crumbled around them, Nihilators were streaming into the flying machines and taking off, flying out through the gaping hole in the wall and heading for their rendezvous with the cloaked mothership hovering just outside the predicted blast radius of the Tree's impending explosive demise. Doctor Tarantulas and Chobin would be the last to depart, partly due to the Doctor wanting to see the Tree's destruction from close range and mainly because it was taking an inordinately long time to load all of his equipment into his personal ship.

"Come on, come on, pick up some slack, ve don't have all day here!" Tarantulas snapped at his spider minions as they carried large computer banks, specimen jars, chemical vats, bins of crystals, cadavers, and other lab equipment up the loading ramp into the open back of his ship. "If you don't hurry up, ve might not make it out of here in time!" He frowned at Chobin, who, instead of helping load the ship, was lounging against one of the landing struts doing nothing in particular. "And vhat do you zink you're doing?! Vhy aren't you helping zem?!"

"Chobin's on break…Chobin said," Chobin said with a yawn.

Tarantulas' eye twitched. He fired a laser from his mechanical eye at Chobin's feet, causing the Sunflora to yelp and jump five feet into the air. "GET OVER ZERE AND DO SOMEZING PRODUCTIVE FOR A CHANGE!" the cyborg howled as his terrified assistant ran over to help carry a micro fusion reactor some of the spiders were having trouble lifting. The scientist shook his head at his minion's indolence, and paused when his HUD beeped. "Uh? I am receiving a call." His mechanical eye telescoped outwards and projected a life-size hologram of Oblivion's Shadow. He stiffened and saluted at once. "Herr Shadow! Vhat a pleasant surprise! I vas not expecting a call from you."

"Doctor Tarantulas. Vhy have you not departed viz ze ozers yet? Vhy are you still inside ze Tree? It vill collapse in a matter of minutes," Oblivion's Shadow replied in the Doctor's voice.

Tarantulas bowed his head. "Mein apologies, Herr Shadow, but ve had a few delays. Some of ze spiders I sent to fetch my zings malfunctioned and deposited a good deal of my equipment and research in an inopportune place. I sent a new batch to get ze goods, and destroyed ze faulty ones. I vill examine zeir remains later to see vhat vent wrong viz zeir processors."

"Are zese materials so important zat you could not simply leave zem behind?" the Shadow asked.

Tarantulas looked aghast. "Of course I couldn't leave zem, my Lord! Every piece of my equipment is of great value, both sentimentally and functionally, to our cause! I could not simply abandon it, especially since zere is still so much collected data I have yet to examine properly…"

"Oof! What's in this one, Doctor? It must be a real heavy one!...said Chobin," the Sunflora commented as he stumbled past the Doctor, through the hologram, and up the ramp, struggling to carry a rather large cocoon containing one of the scientist's victims into the ship.

"And so many snacks I have yet to eat," Tarantulas admitted sheepishly when the Shadow glared at him. "Do not vorry, mein Lord, zat should be ze last of it. In mere moments, ve vill depart and be en route to deliver our prizes to you."

"Speaking of vhich…vhy do you still have ze map and Star Badges viz you? Vouldn't it have been more prudent to send zem ahead on one of ze ozer ships?" the Shadow asked.

Tarantulas scoffed. "And risk some buffoon losing zem?! Of course not! Besides, I couldn't possibly deny myself ze honor of delivering zese gifts to you in person…and rubbing it in Bellum's face zat I succeeded vhere she failed! Hahahaha! I can't vait to see ze look on zat old hag's face vhen zat happens…she vas only able to deliver to you one Star Badge, vhile _I_ have _two,_ plus ze map zat vill lead us to ze ozzer four!"

"You are still taking a razzer large risk, considering ze importance of ze artifacts you have collected," the Shadow said. "And speaking of artifacts…ze zree golems are properly secured?"

Tarantulas nodded. "Zem I put in anozzer ship, since zere's no room in mine, not if I vant to bring back all of my equipment and findings back. Don't vorry, zere's little chance of zem escaping, considering how strong I made zeir bonds…and even if zey did break free, vhere vould zey run to? Zey'll be on an airship miles above ze surface of ze planet, heading for an even _more_ escape-proof prison in our fortress! Zey literally have nowhere to go."

"And vhat of ze Rescue Team?" the Shadow continued.

Tarantulas smirked. "Ze spiders I've left in ze tunnels have informed me zat zey have split into two groups; one to rescue ze hostages and one to catch me. I'm somevhat impressed, I guess zat Leafeon must have more fortitude in him zan I zought to not be reduced to a quivering lump of jelly by vhat I did to his sister. By mein calculations, ze 'chase' team should be arriving right about…"

"Doctor Tarantulas!" Ash shouted as he and Leo rushed into the hangar.

"Now," the Doctor said with a grin. "Guttentag, mein little friends! So good to see you again. Too bad you have come all zis vay for nozing, since I am about to leave you in-"

"Hey, who's that guy?" Leo interrupted, pointing at the hologram of Oblivion's Shadow.

"Hey, I vas in ze middle of a speech!" protested the offended Doctor as the hologram and Ash locked eyes (or, well…uh, you know.). The Lucario stiffened. His heart stopped. All his hair stood up. He gasped and nearly keeled over as an OVERWHELMING feeling of sheer hatred surged through his body, causing bile to rise in his throat and all his muscles to tense up to the point that they nearly locked him in place.

"_Please…don't die…"_

_He clutched her dead body to his chest, sobbing, refusing to believe her life had been snuffed out as easily as a candle even as her blood soaked into his clothes and stained his hands and face._

"_I'm so sorry…"_

Leo jumped off Ash's back in alarm as the Lucario's Aura exploded around him, creating an immense raging blue inferno that cracked the ground he was standing on and rose several feet into the air, flickering and writhing about like a wild Pokemon driven mad by pain and anger."Whoa!" Leo cried in alarm. "Ash! What's wrong?!"

"Ack! Vhat ze hell?!" cried a startled Tarantulas, scurrying backwards even though Ash was still several meters away from the ramp he was standing on.

"Ooh, pretty…said Chobin," said Chobin, who had finished helping the spiders stow everything away and come back outside to see what all the fuss was about.

Ash's eyes flickered, switching back and forth from red to solid, pupil-less white. His Aura roared, going from its usual bright blue to a much darker, almost purple, shade. _"You…"_ he snarled in a voice of blackest hate, saliva dripping from his slavering jaws and sizzling as it passed through his raging Aura.

"…So, we meet again," the Shadow said in Ash's voice, his mask reflecting the Lucario's infuriated face. (Yes, even though it was a hologram. Don't question it.) "And your feelings remain the same. How…unfortunate."

Ash gasped and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to regain control of himself and tame the roaring serpent of anger that had wrapped tightly around his heart. This was fury unbefitting of an Aura Guardian. But he couldn't help himself. The very sight of the cloaked, towering figure awakened something in him…something primal, and dark beyond imagining. "Who…who are you?" he whispered, frightened by how angry he felt. "I don't…I don't know who you are…I've never seen you before…so why…why do I want to rip your heart out and tear open your throat with my teeth?!"

Oblivion's Shadow tilted his head in thought. "Hmm…you still do not remember? And yet your blood still boils at the sight of me…How disappointing. I shall have to remedy that in the future."

Leo sweatdropped. "Uh, that doesn't sound good…"

"Who…who _are you?!"_ Ash demanded, gasping and trying to restrain the urge to rush over there and maul the figure limb from limb, partly because such behavior was totally out of character for him and mainly because he knew it was a hologram and such an attack would be pointless.

The Shadow fixed Ash with its gaze, causing the Lucario to see his face reflected full-on in the stranger's mask. Ash's blood chilled as he saw his own visage. He could barely recognize himself as he was now. "In your darkest nightmares…you already know who I am." The Shadow turned back to Tarantulas, swapping faces and voices. "Depart immediately. You have vasted far too much time here already."

"Er…but…you don't vant me to capture him or anyzing?" Tarantulas, utterly confused and wondering just what connection his enigmatic leader had with the brash young Lucario, asked in puzzlement.

"Not right now. I am certain your paths vill cross again." The hologram flickered and vanished.

Tarantulas blinked and scratched his head. "Uh…okay…vell, you heard ze mon, Chobin. Let's get out of here!"

"Okiedokie!...said Chobin," Chobin said.

The ship's engines came to life with a surprisingly quiet hum and the vessel slowly began to lift off the ground. Leo noted that it appeared to be using some form of antigravity repulsion rather than the standard VTOL jets or propellers used by most aircraft, indicating that whoever had built the ship must have had a great deal of resources to afford such a luxury. "Hey, come back here! We're not through!" he yelled, starting towards the ship…only to yelp and backpedal as a swarm of Tarantulas' robot spiders coalesced in front of him, blocking the path to the mad scientist. "Whoa! Ash, do something!" There was no response. "Ash?" Leo turned around and saw that Ash was shuddering and clutching himself as his Aura madly flickered around him, his intense anger so great that he seemed to be having trouble getting it back under control even after the source of his sudden hatred had disappeared. "Aw, crap…"

Tarantulas cackled evilly. "It looks as if zis is Auf Wiedersehen, mein little friends! So sorry you had to come all zis vay for nozing, seeing as I am about to escape viz your magical map and _two_ Star Badges!" He grinned. "And before you zink to yourself, 'Oh vell, at least our friends managed to save ze hostages, so it vasn't a _total_ loss,' zen _ha!_ to you! Zink again!"

Leo's blood chilled. "Wh-what's that supposed to mean?!" he demanded, although he already had an idea of what the Doctor had in store.

Chobin laughed malevolently. "They're already _dead! _The Doctor sent the signal that triggered the auto-destructs in their brain chips the minute we left the heart chamber! They were all killed instantly!...Chobin exulted."

Leo gasped. "NO!" But he knew that they probably had done just that. What reason did they have to lie about something like this, especially since they had already demonstrated so many times how little the lives of others meant to them?

"And vhat's more, I left behind fifty of our best mons to ambush your friends vhen zey arrive and find a room full of corpses," Tarantulas giggled. "Even if your friends survive zat, I doubt zey'll be in any condition to escape before ze Tree falls down on zem!"

Leo was stunned, though he knew he probably should have seen this coming. "You'd sacrifice the lives of your own people so heartlessly?!"

"Well, _duh,_ Chobin said as if it were obvious," Chobin said as if it were obvious.

Tarantulas snorted. "Zat's a fine zing to say coming from someone who probably plows through our soldiers vizout a second zought about ze lives you're ending."

Leo hesitated. "I…it's not…" He frowned. "Wait, what am I doing? I can't listen to your mind games now! I'm gonna make you guys pay for what you did!" He fired a Bubblebeam at the Ariados…only to look on, aghast, as the bubbles popped harmlessly against a semi-visible bubble that sprang to life around the ship. "A force field. Of _course_ you have a force field."

"Yes, ve do," Tarantulas said. "And viz zat, ve shall be going. Farewell!" His ship's landing gear retracted, the thrusters ignited, and the Doctor and his assistant scurried into the vessel, pressing a button that caused the loading ramp to start rising up to cover the large entry hole in the ship's rear that they were standing in.

Leo glanced back at Ash, noting with dismay that he was still out of it. He raced to think of a possible solution to this dilemma. There was only one idea he could think of, but it was a bit of a long shot. He wasn't sure he was right about his assumption, or that it would even work, but at the moment he didn't really have many other options. Taking a deep breath, he shouted, "Running away from a fight? Ha! That doesn't sound like the rival I know!"

Tarantulas paused. He pressed the button again, causing the loading ramp to pause. "Eh? Vhat are you talking about?"

Leo put his hand on his hips. "The rival I know is a lot of bad things: selfish, greedy, a thief, a cheater, and a kill-stealer, but he's no coward! He'd never run from a fight, even one he knew he couldn't win, especially if it was against me! He'd stick to it and keep on fighting, in hopes that he'd manage to beat me and take back the accolades he thinks I stole from him!"

"…And, ah, who is zis rival and vhy should I be caring?" asked the very confused Tarantulas.

Leo smirked. "Come on, Doc, you can drop the act! I saw what was on your computer, I know who you are: the scourge of Freedom City, the slaughterer of Kelz'thyu'poi-kydetg, founder of the Arachninja clan, murderer of Lord Nightwindshadowflame of Meagathune'yupoil Keep, and serial ding-dong ditcher, the one and only supervillain and archnemesis of Turtle Titan: Arackaiser!"

Chobin started. Tarantulas stared at Leo blankly. "I'm…who now?" asked the mad scientist.

Leo blinked. Had he been wrong after all? "C-come on, you know, Arackaiser! I saw it on your computer screen, I know that's your character in City of Superguys…which means that we're rivals in the real and virtual worlds too, since I just happen to also be Turtle Titan, Arackaiser's greatest enemy, who you've sworn to defeat since I keep beating all your scores, topping you in contests, and whupping your ass in battles in various different MMORPGS! And I always cry 'Yatta!' when I prevail over evil, namely, you. You're telling me none of that rings a bell?"

Tarantulas shook his head slowly. "I have absolutely no idea vhat you are talking about-"

"YOU!" Chobin howled, his face red with fury and his eyes bulging out of their sockets. "YOU ARE THE TITAN?! IT WAS YOU ALL ALONG?!...CHOBIN SCREAMED IN RAGE!"

Leo's jaw dropped. "H-holy crap…you mean _you're_ Arackaiser?! But…but you're not even…" He facepalmed. "Damn. Rookie mistake. I assumed you were a spider because of your screen name and character. And the fact that the computer showing said character happened to be in the lab of a mad scientist Ariados, well…it's an understandable error…"

"Chobin, vhat is going on?!" Tarantulas demanded.

"HE IS THE ONE WHO RUINS EVERYTHING CHOBIN DOES! HE IS THE ONE WHO DEMOLISHES CHOBIN'S SCORES AND BEATS HIM TO ALL THE BEST LOOT AND BOSSES AND SECRET EVENTS! HE IS THE ONE CHOBIN HAS VOWED TO DESTROY NO MATTER WHAT THE COST! HE IS _TURTLE TITAN!_...CHOBIN BELLOWED!" Chobin bellowed.

Tarantulas blinked. "…Vait, you mean he's ze player who keeps beating you in all zose silly games you play online? Zat's vhat zis is about?"

Chobin startled his master by getting right in his face and screaming, "THEY ARE NOT SILLY GAMES! THEY ARE CHOBIN'S LIFE!...CHOBIN SHOUTED! AND NOW THAT THE TITAN IS HERE, CHOBIN SHALL CRUSH HIM AND HAVE HIS REVENGE AND RECLAIM THE TITLE OF BEST GAMER EVAAAAAAAR!...CHOBIN PROMISED!" He turned and ran into the ship, screaming, "CHOBIN HAS FURYYYYYY!"

Alarmed, Tarantulas followed him. "Ch-Chobin, vait, vhat do you zink you're…no! DON'T TOUCH ZAT!" There was a series of loud crashes and bang, and the ship wobbled somewhat. "ACK! NO! LEAVE ZAT ALONE, IT'S DELICATE!" There was a muffled explosion. "AAAAGGHHH! YOU STUPID…oh no. No! NO! NOT ZAT! DON'T YOU DARE-" There was another explosion, and the ship rocked violently.

Leo sweatdropped. "O…kay…do you find this weird too, Ash?"

"Uhhh…" Ash groaned.

"Oh, right, still recovering from…whatever the hell just happened. You're gonna have to explain that sometime, k?" said Leo.

There was a bellow from within the ship, and Leo whipped his head back around to look at the vessel, which was shaking as _something_ stampeded through it before leaping out the still-open back end, nearly breaking the partially-retracted boarding ramp in the process. The robot spiders tried to scurry out of the way, but the thing landed right on top of them, squashing them flat and breaking them into little nuts and bolts. It leaned forward and roared in Leo's face, causing the Squirtle to cry out in alarm, backpedal frantically, and fall over. "Yikes! What the hell?!"

"Ugh…is that…Groudon?!" asked an astonished Ash, finally managing to pull himself together. The monstrosity standing before them was a fifteen-foot tall machine mostly made of red and gray armored plates with countless rivets and bolts holding it together. It had rather short and squat legs and arms, but the rather long and sharp-looking claws growing from the ends more than made up for it. Its tail was a bit longer and segmented so that it could flex and swish around a bit. Long spikes grew from the sides of the tail, the robot's neck, and from its sides in symmetrical rows. The machine's flexible neck ended in a saurian short-snouted head with ridges on the top, glowing yellow eyes, and jaws like a steel trap. The majority of the machine's gray belly was taken up by a glass-fronted cockpit in which they could see Chobin seated at the controls, looking more serious than ever before and…wearing a monocle?

The Sunflora grinned sinisterly. "Close, my young friend…this is my latest invention, Robo-Groudon, the first in a line of super mechas I will use to create an army that will bring Freedom City and then the world to its knees!"

Tarantulas frantically scurried back into view. "No, Chobin, not ze Robo-Groudon prototype, it's not read…vait, did you say _your_ invention?! You little…I'm ze one who came up viz zat zing! You just put it togezer! And not zat vell, if I might add!"

Chobin ignored his master. "With the power of Robo-Groudon, I shall crush you and settle the score between us once and for all, Turtle Titan! Oh, and kill your little sidekick, too. I'm surprised you got a new one, considering what happened to the last one."

Ash blinked in confusion. "Uh, Leo, what's he talking about? And…wait, _who's_ the sidekick here?!"

Leo gasped. "Oh snap, the realization that he had a chance to kill his longtime rival in real life must have driven him over the edge!...well, moreso than usual. He must think that he actually _is_ Arackaiser, and that I'm really Turtle Titan, and you're…I dunno. The Aura Kid or something."

Tarantulas moaned and facepalmed. Even though he didn't have hands. "Oh for ze love of…now he's got Dissociative Identity Disorder on top of all his ozzer psychological issues?! Vhat's next, ADHD?!"

"He doesn't have that already?" asked the surprised Leo.

"Astonishingly, no," Tarantulas said.

"Muhahahaha! Once I've destroyed you and your little friend, Freedom City shall be mine!" Chobin promised.

"Oh well…fortunately, I've prepared for just such an event!" Leo said, reaching into his shell.

Ash blinked. "You prepared for an attack by a giant robot piloted by a psychopathic flower who thinks he's a video game character?"

Leo snorted. "Duh, every adventure has at least one of those! Which is why I ordered _this!_" he said, triumphantly pulling out a spray can. "Robot-B-Gon, a patented spray guaranteed to kill any giant robot in the area!"

Ash sweatdropped. "You've got to be kidding me…"

"Have at thee, giant mecha! Begone, by the power of robocide!" Leo cried, spraying the can in Robo Groudon's face. Nothing happened. Leo blinked, shook the can, and tried again. Still nothing happened. "What the…why isn't this working?!"

Chobin snickered. "Maybe the warranty expired?"

"No, that can't be…wait a minute!" Leo cried, noticing a warning label on the side of the can he hadn't seen before. "'Warning: Only works on giant robot _insects_.' D'oh! I knew I should have sprung for the deluxe version!"

Ash blinked. "Wait. That kills robot insects? Then…then why didn't you use it on those spiders from before?!"

Leo gave Ash a pitying look. "Ash, for one thing, I didn't know this only worked on bugs back then. For another, it's only supposed to work on _giant_ robot bugs, not little ones. And finally…spiders aren't insects, silly, they're _arachnids._ There's a huge difference." Ash facefaulted.

Ash got back up. "Wait, but then why didn't you try using it on that Jovi robot either?!"

"It had an organic component, therefore was technically a cyborg," Leo explained. "The spray only works on completely mechanical giant robots. If they have organic parts integrated into them, rather than just having a flesh and blood pilot, the spray doesn't work on them."

"Oh…good…zen zat shouldn't vork on me, since I'm a spider…and a cyborg," said the relieved Doctor.

"It will take a lot more than some pitiful spray to defeat me, old friend," Chobin said grimly. "I shan't imagine, on the other hand, that it will take much to defeat you! Oh, and your sidekick, I suppose."

Ash sweatdropped. "Why does he keep calling me that?!"

"Feel the wrath of Groudon!" Chobin bellowed as his leaves danced over the controls. Robo-Groudon leaned forward and roared, a telltale glow forming in a barrel's inside the mecha-dinosaur's mouth.

"Uh-oh!" Leo cried. "We'd better-"

"Get out of the way?" Ash finished, grabbing Leo and dashing out of the way as Robo-Groudon fired a golden energy beam remarkably like a Hyper Beam, sweeping it across the floor and leaving a trail of mini-explosions in its wake.

Tarantulas yelped as the chamber shook and rocks fell from the ceiling, coming close to hitting his ship. "Ack! Chobin, be careful viz zat zing, ze whole Tree's already falling apart, don't make it any easier for it to cave in on us! And speaking of which…" He checked an internal chronometer and yelped in alarm. "Aiieee! Ve don't have much time left! Cease zis foolishness and get back in here before ve all die! Chobin? Chobin!" Chobin didn't listen, as he was too busy piloting his mecha after Ash and Leo, launching the spikes on its sides like missiles at the duo. Tarantulas sweatdropped. "You're not even listening to me, are you? Oy…I really should see about limiting your game time, shouldn't I?"

"Perish!" Chobin roared as he fired more missiles (new spikes sprouting to replace each one he launched) and simultaneously shot another Hyper Beam at Ash and Leo.

Ash used his speed and Aura reflexes to sidestep the missile spikes and roll out of the way of the laser, his agility slightly hindered by the fact that he was hugging Leo to his chest. "Since when does Groudon have missiles?!" Ash cried.

"It's a _Robo_-Groudon. Giant robots _always _have missiles," Leo said, as if it were obvious.

"Do giant robots have any weaknesses we can exploit to destroy it? Quickly, I might add, since we don't really have time for a long, drawn-out fight?" Ash asked a little hurriedly as Chobin fired another salvo of missiles at them, then caused his robot to jump in the air and land with a powerful crash that sent a wave of fire rippling out towards them and made more rocks fall from the ceiling. Ash threw Leo up into the air, jumped over the fire wave, shot an Aura Sphere at the missiles to destroy them, smashed some incoming rocks with his fists and feet, caught Leo again, and landed back on the ground. "Sorry. You okay?"

"Dude! That was so cool!" Leo cried. "You did all that stuff without even touching the ground! Incredible!"

"Yes, not bad for a sidekick," Chobin grudgingly agreed.

Ash's eye twitched. "Leo. Weakness?"

"Huh? Oh, right," said Leo. "I scanned the thing with my shades while I was up in the air. The hull's pretty tough and almost impervious to damage. Makes sense, since it's based off a Pokemon that swims in lava. However, the Hyper Beam cannon in its mouth is a potential weak spot due to all the energy lines flowing to it. If we could damage it enough, it would cause a power feedback that would blow the whole thing to smithereens!"

"Really? Thanks for the tip," Chobin said, pushing a button that caused Robo-Groudon's mouth to shut itself. "I'll make sure to fix that design flaw in the next version."

"You mean _I'm_ going to, you crazy invention-stealing bigheaded failure of an assistant…er, say, Squirtle boy, any ozzer design flaws you noticed?" Tarantulas asked, taking notes.

Leo's jaw dropped. "W-wait, you're not supposed to do that! Bosses always expose their weak spots eventually after performing certain attacks, they're not supposed to permanently cover them up!"

"Well, that's why there's a difference between video games and real life, _real_ bad guys are smarter than programmed goons," Ash pointed out. "Most of the time, anyway. Don't worry, though, I have a plan. I'm going to need you to distract him, though."

Leo looked at Ash in alarm. "Me?! Why me?!"

"It's you he's after," Ash pointed out.

Leo sweatdropped. "Good point. Fine, I'll do my best…but if I die, whatever Ghost Pokemon I turn into will come back to haunt you, you hear me?"

Ash smirked. "I've heard that one before." He put Leo on the ground and dashed off.

Chobin frowned. "Eh? Where is he going…"

"Hey, Arakisser! Don't tell me you're more interested in my sidekick than your archrival!" Leo shouted, waving his hands in the air. "You should know by now never to take your eyes off me, or I'll beat your high score…_again!_"

Chobin snarled in rage. "You've beaten my record for the last time, you little reptile! Eat rocket punch!" Robo-Groudon's forearms shook and abruptly launched off at the elbow joints, burning rocket nozzles propelling them on a direct course towards Leo.

"Eeek! Damn, why do giant robots always have to have rocket fists, too?!" Leo cried, desperately running for his life.

"And if that weren't enough…get a load of this!" Chobin crowed, firing more missiles.

Leo sprayed a wide burst of Bubbles at the projectiles as they shot towards him. The liquid exploded the missiles, but splattered harmlessly off the flying fists. One of them rose into the air, and then shot right down towards him at a rather sharp angle. He jumped forward just in the nick of time, and it smashed into the ground where he had been standing, flinging rock chips everywhere and knocking him head over heels. The second fist caught him in the gut before he could hit the ground, and he gasped in pain as the punch flung him backwards, right into the second fist, which knocked him back at the first one, which hit him back again, and so on as the duo proceeded to play ping-pong with poor Leo's body. "Ohhhh…it's a good thing…I have a really thick shell…or this would be hurting a lot more…than it already is!" he wailed.

Chobin cackled madly as he yanked on the levers and pushed the buttons that caused the rocket fists to bat poor Leo about like a volleyball. "Hahaha! Yes, yes! Now you know the suffering I felt when you constantly defeated me and broke all my records! Hahahaha!"

"Dude…what does…ohhhh…being used as a tennis ball…guh…have to do with you being humiliated?!" Leo cried frantically as he flew back and forth through the air.

Chobin paused. "Uh…that's a good question, actually…" He scowled. "Shut up! Don't you dare use logic on me! My IQ is infinitely higher than yours, it's a wonder you've managed to outlast me for so long! DIE!"

"Some super-high IQ," Tarantulas scoffed. "Idiot assistant…oh vell, at least he's enjoying himself, and ze vay he's playing viz zat turtle is kind of funny…even if it is a HUGE VASTE OF TIME SINCE VE NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE ZIS PLACE FALLS ON US!" He paused. "Hey, vait, vhere'd zat ozzer guy go?" He gasped when he suddenly noticed Ash stealthily approached the Robo-Groudon, which was presently standing in place due to its pilot focusing on playing with Leo, from behind. "Chobin, vatch out, it's a trick! Chobin! Chobin? Chobin?!" He sighed in exasperation. "And he's still not listening to me. Great."

Ducking around the happily wagging tail of the robot legendary, Ash jumped onto Robo-Groudon's back and started scaling the larger machine. Chobin noticed this at once when a proximity alarm went off in his cockpit, causing him to pause in his fun with Leo. "Eh? What the…" He gasped, realizing what was going on. "You tricked me! You wanted me to be so busy with you that I'd forget about your sidekick!"

The rather bruised and battered Leo, currently hanging on desperately to one of the rocket fist's claws so that he wouldn't fall to the ground far below since the fists had stopped their game when their master's attention was diverted, grinned weakly. "Yeah. So much for your superior IQ, huh?"

Chobin ground his teeth angrily. "Oh no? You don't think I've planned for this?" He pushed a button, and suddenly the robot's hull came alive with electricity. Ash gritted his teeth in pain, grunted as he got zapped again and again and again…and then he kept climbing anyway. Chobin's jaw dropped. "WHAT?!"

"Ha! The Aura Kid lives with a family of Pikachu samurai! He's built up a partial immunity to electricity! It'll take more than that to beat him!" Leo exulted.

"Hmm, note to self, up the voltage in the next model…" Chobin muttered.

"You mean _I'LL _up ze voltage in ze next model!" Tarantulas shouted. Chobin still didn't seem to hear him.

"Your friend may be strong against electricity, but can he survive…my Iron Drill Tail?!" Chobin asked as the end of Robo-Groudon's tail started glowing and spinning like a drill. The tail flexed backwards over itself and thrust the spinning end at Ash.

"Ash, look out!" Leo cried.

He needn't have bothered. Ash had, of course, sensed the drill almost at once and backflipped over it before it could strike him, landing on the safer-non-spinning part of the appendage. Instead of breaking his back, the drill slammed into the machine's rear, grinding with the loud screech of metal against metal and causing sparks to fly up and make the whole thing shake. Chobin was flung forward in his cockpit, slamming into his console and accidentally hitting the button that reopened Robo-Groudon's mouth. "Ohhh…" he groaned, rubbing his head in pain.

Seeing his chance, Ash jumped off the quivering tail, landing on top of Robo-Groudon's head. He wrapped his legs around the mecha's snout and planted his feet between two of the rather sharp teeth on the lower jaw, shielding his paws with Aura to keep from being cut by the fangs. He reached into his knapsack and took out a Corsola Twig, which he wedged into the robot's mouth to prop it open. "Okay Leo, hit it!"

Leo shook his head. "I can't, it's waterproof! Only extreme kinetic force can destroy that thing!"

Ash gaped. "What?! Why didn't you mention that in the first place?!"

"You didn't give me time! I was about to mention it, but you dropped me to serve as a distraction and ran off!" Leo yelled back.

Ash frowned. "Okay…then I'll smash this thing myself!"

Leo shook his head again. "That won't work either, you're too close and the angle's wrong. It needs to be hit really hard by something that's built up a lot of momentum from afar."

Ash sweatdropped. "You should have mentioned that before, too! What do we do now?!"

Leo paused. "Uh…give me a second. It's kind of hard to think when you're dangling for your life." Ash facepalmed.

"Ugh! Get OFF of there!" Chobin yelled angrily, frantically working the controls and causing the robot to shake and wildly stomp about. "Off! Off! Off!"

"Whoa! Ha, this the best you got?" Ash grunted, gripping Robo-Groudon's upper jaws with his forepaws to keep from falling off. "This is nothing, I've ridden Tauros before!"

"Me too! Well, actually it was a mechanical Tauros," said Leo. "And I kept getting thrown off. Until I applied glue to the seat. Then I managed to ride it the whole time! And got violently sick afterwards."

Seeing that his efforts to dislodge Ash were not working, Chobin tried to think of a more effective method. "Let's see…my tail's not long enough to reach him…if I fire any missiles or ram him into a wall, I might damage the cannon since he's holding the mouth open…so that only leaves…aha!" He pushed a button.

The second robot arm, the one Leo currently wasn't dangling from, turned and aimed itself in the direction of its body. "Whuh-oh," Leo said. "Ash, look out, it's gonna come right for you!"

"I don't think I can!" said the alarmed Ash. Chobin had pushed another button to cause the mouth to close again, and, although the Corsola Twig had jammed it for a few seconds, it had inevitably broken and now the Lucario was forced to hold it open with his bare paws…not just to expose its weak spot, but also to keep his hands and feet from being crushed between its heavy metal jaws! "_You_ do something!"

"Uh, okay, let's see…" Leo's mind raced. "Ooh! I've got an idea!" As the second arm reared back to launch itself towards Ash, Leo swung forward on the claw he was hanging from, using his weight and momentum to jump off of it and land on top of the appendage just before it shot towards the mecha. It dipped drastically when he landed on it due to his weight, and he nearly fell off, but he clung to it with all his strength. Pulling a screwdriver out of his shell, he started trying to pry open a panel on the side of the disembodied limb.

"What the…hey! Stop that! Get off of there!" Chobin yelled angrily, using his controls to make the arm Leo was clinging to start spinning wildly in an attempt to hurl the Squirtle off. It nearly worked, but the spin gave Leo the impetus he needed to lever off the panel he was working on, reach inside, and rip out a large black box conveniently labeled 'Guidance System.'

Immediately, the rocket stabilized and, much to Chobin's shock, it was no longer under his control. "Yatta!" Leo cried triumphantly. "Now that I'm the only one driving this thing, I'll steer it right into Robo-Groudon's mouth and smash that cannon with a good ol' rocket punch!" He paused. Sweatdropped. "And I just realized I have absolutely no idea how to pilot this thing. Crap."

Ash groaned. "Oh, Leo…"

Chobin cackled. "You should have thought things through before trying such a foolish stunt, Titan…and your little mishap has sealed your fate!" He launched more missiles, which streaked through the air towards the fist Leo was riding on.

Leo was about to blast them with his Bubbles when he realized that his ride, now under _nobody's_ control, was flying right towards a wall. He realized that he could either destroy the missiles and figure out how to steer this thing in the next three seconds before it hit the wall…or he could jump off before it was too late.

He jumped off. The missiles collided with the fist and exploded, sadly failing to destroy the surprisingly tough robot arm. The blast did, on the other hand, fling Leo away from the wall…

And right into the clenched knuckles of the other fist. He gasped in pain as the rocket punched into his gut, which flung him back into the wall. He grunted as he hit it and started to slide to the floor when the fist slammed into him, punching him again and again and again, each powerful strike pressing him further into the wall and causing a small indentation to form around him as he was pushed into the solid rock. The fist drew back for a moment, but Leo didn't even get a chance to breathe before it shot right back into him with a nasty uppercut that tore him out of the indentation and almost took his head off. Knocked out, blood gushing from his nose and mouth, the Squirtle arced into the air and started plummeting towards the ground. The fist caught him, grabbing one of his arms and wrenching it so hard it nearly broke, and not-too-gently brought the Squirtle back to Chobin like a pet offering something it had killed to its master as a sign of affection. Chobin cackled and rubbed his leaves together gleefully as Leo dangled rather limply from the rocket fist's grasp. Were it not for the rather shallow breaths causing his body to heave, it would be easy to think that he was dead "Leo!" Ash cried in horror.

Chobin laughed malevolently. "At last! At last! I knew your luck would run out eventually. And now you are mine. Oh, you have no idea how long I've been waiting for this…" He pressed a button, and the Hyper Beam cannon started gathering power. "And since your friend seems so insistent on keeping my little toy's mouth open…why not use it to my advantage and finish you off for good?" He grinned. "Farewell, Turtle Titan."

"No!" Ash yelled, mind racing. What could he do to save Leo? If only he weren't being forced to use all his strength to keep the robot's mouth open, he could…

Wait. He was still struggling to hold it open, the jaw motors whining as they pushed forward to do their programmed duty and indicating that Chobin had apparently forgotten to stop his previous order for the mouth to close. Either that, or he had left it like that to keep Ash incapacitated and unable to help Leo. What if he were to stop?

As a ball of golden energy began to form at the tip of the cannon, Ash swiftly withdrew his paws from between the robot's teeth and jumped off of Robo-Groudon's head, causing its mouth to slam shut. Chobin cried in alarm and reached for the mouth controls to try and reopen it before the cannon fired, but he was too late. With nowhere else to go, the Hyper Beam exploded inside of Robo-Groudon's head, destroying the cannon and also blowing the robot's face off. Propelled forward by the blast, Ash slammed into Leo, ripping him from the claws of the hovering robot arm and pressing the Squirtle to his chest as he hit the ground, rolling to absorb the impact and using his own body to shield Leo (though he probably didn't need it, thanks to his shell.). "Are you okay?" he asked his younger friend anxiously.

Leo smiled crookedly. "Yat…ta…My…hero…" he grunted. "You know…this is probably the kind of moment…that yaoi fangirls would take to mean…we're in love."

Ash sweatdropped. "I have no idea what you mean, and I don't think I want to." He stood up, still cradling Leo, and watched as explosions started to erupt all over Robo-Groudon's body, while the screaming Chobin frantically tried to keep the robot from destroying itself. "I thought you said only extreme kinetic force could destroy that thing."

"Having something blow up inside you is very kinetic," said Leo. "Since it pushes everything away at high speeds."

"Ah," said Ash.

"Hmm…I must remember to find a vay around zat in ze next version…zis fight has been more profitable zan I imagined…even if it is getting us DANGEROUSLY close to ze Tree's expiration date!"

"No!" Chobin wailed frantically as he tugged on levers and pushed at buttons, only for his console itself to explode and shower his face with sparks. He wailed and beat himself to try and put out the burning petals on his head. "No! NononononoNOOOOO! How do you do it, every single time?! Damn you, Turtle Titan and Aura Kid! Damn yooooouuuu!"

Ash frowned. "Why's he cursing you? I did all the work."

"And _I'm_ the one who got the crap kicked out of him," Leo growled.

"Right. Sorry," Ash apologized.

"Don't think this is over, Titan!" Chobin said angrily. "I will return! And next time, I will destroy you and everyone you love!" He pushed a button on the side of the cockpit, causing the glass front to shatter as his chair was launched into the air by powerful rockets. "You haven't seen the last of me! Muhahahaha! Bwahahahaha! Ahahaha-" His laugh was interrupted as his chair hit the ceiling, causing him to slam his head into the very hard rock, breaking his monocle in the process. The ejection seat's engines cut out and the seat crashed back down to the floor. "Ow." A second later, a parachute belatedly popped out of the back of the chair, rose briefly into the air, then fell back down, covering Chobin and the chair completely.

"I should probably vork on ze ejection seats, too…" Tarantulas muttered.

Ash sweatdropped. "_That's_ your greatest enemy?"

"He was a lot more intimidating in-game," Leo said sheepishly. He frowned and looked down at his own rather puny and beaten frame. "Then again, so am I."

The parachute flap rustled and a very dazed Chobin crawled out. "Ohhh…" Chobin moaned, rubbing his head in pain. "What happened? Why is Chobin wearing a broken monocle?...Chobin asked."

Tarantulas sighed in relief. "Oh good, you're back to…well, as normal as you ever get. Now let's get out of here before-"

"Not so fast!" Ash said, grabbing Chobin and holding a pair of Metal Claws to the alarmed Sunflora's neck. "Now that we're through with your flunkie, I think it's time we dealt with you, Doctor Tarantulas! Release the Golems and hand over the map and Star Badges you took from us and I won't kill your lackey!"

Leo frowned. "Ash, that'll never work! He's a bad guy, they never care about the lives of their minions!"

"You're half-right," Tarantulas said. "I'm not going to give you ze goods or let zem go…but not for ze reasons you might zink. You see, I actually care a great deal for Chobin. In fact, it vould not be a stretch to say zat he is ze only Pokemon in zis disgusting vorld zat I vould call 'friend'. However, I vill not trade my prize for his life. Vhy, you may ask? Is it because I am simply zat heartless? No--because I am—but it is because your killing him vill in no vay take him from me."

Leo and Ash exchanged confused looks. "What do you mean by that?" Ash asked finally.

Tarantulas grinned, and Chobin laughed as if at an inside joke. "Chobin, vould you open your mouth please?"

"Sure, Doctor, Chobin said," Chobin said, opening his mouth widely. "Awwwww, Chobin awwwed," he said, tongue lolling out.

"Now, if one of you vould be so kind as to look under his tongue?" Tarantulas continued.

Grimacing at Chobin's incredibly rancid breath, Ash looked…and blinked in surprise. "Hey, what's with all these bumps here?"

"Bumps?" Leo asked.

"Yeah, under his tongue there's all these tiny bumps…at least a few dozen," Ash said.

"Zirty-seven, to be precise," Tarantulas said as Chobin closed his mouth. "I'm sure you're vondering vhat zey signify. It means, quite simply, zat ze Chobin you are holding is not ze first…he is, in fact, ze zirty-seventh!"

"Huh?!" asked a startled Ash. "You mean you abduct lots of Sunflora for your assistants, warp their minds, then name them all Chobin for some reason? And mark their mouths so you remember which number they are?"

"No, it's worse than that!" Leo cried. "He doesn't have a bunch of Sunflora assistants he all calls Chobin…they're all the same one! Chobin's a clone!"

"Correct!" Tarantulas said, pleased Leo had figured it out so quickly. "A bright one, aren't you? Yes, Chobin is indeed a clone, ze latest in a long line. You see, being ze assistant of a mad scientist is hazardous vork, vhat viz all ze volatile chemicals and dangerous machinery and clumsy fingers. Razzer zan risk Chobin dying and being forced to break in a new assistant, vhich vould be a large vaste of precious time, I simply clone him every time he inevitably dies, vezer by accident or intent. I have dozens of clone bodies docilely vaiting in preservative vats back home to be avakened in ze unfortunate circumstance zat zeir predecessor perishes."

"Whoa," said a stunned Ash.

"And that must be why he's so crazy!" Leo realized. "Being cloned so many times has degenerated his brain!"

"Actually, no, Chobin's always been like this, Chobin said," Chobin said.

"Oh," said Leo.

"You…_clone_ your assistant?! There's tons of new Chobins sleeping in tanks at your lab?!" cried an astonished Ash.

The Doctor nodded. "Yes, but I only avaken zem one at a time. I've learned ze hard vay never to have more zan one Chobin alive at any given time. Zings get…messy."

Chobin giggled. "That's one way of putting it, Chobin said."

"And to keep each clone from being a, how you say, 'replacement Goldeen' for ze original Chobin, who naturally died years ago, I take periodic scans of his brain so zat I can download zem onto ze blank slate of his next successor to ensure ze clone has minimal memory loss and only needs to relearn a small amount of recent events. And to make sure I keep ze spirit of ze true Chobin, razzer zan risk getting some namby-pamby wishy-washy goody-two-shoes soul infesting ze clone, I borrowed dark magic from Bellum to bind Chobin's soul to my own so zat he cannot pass on from zis vorld until I do. Zat vay, vhenever he dies, his ghost sticks around for a vhile until I avaken his next body, vhich he promptly zips into before any other vaiting soul can take it from him."

"That's…actually pretty clever," admitted an impressed Leo.

"And all this takes less time and effort than just getting a new assistant?!" Ash asked incredulously.

Tarantulas shrugged. "I told you I vas fond of him. For some reason. And zat is vhy your attempt to bargain viz his life vill not vork. I'll just leave and prepare his next body vhen I get back to headquarters."

"What if we don't kill him at all, but keep him hostage, and force him to tell us all your secrets?!" Leo demanded. "Then not only will you have no Chobin, but we'll learn how to take you down!"

Tarantulas laughed. "Ha! You zink zat hasn't been tried before? Chobin has many vays of killing himself to return to me, no matter how carefully to try to keep him alive. And as for interrogation? Don't bozzer. He gets off on torture."

"Physical pain makes Chobin feel all happy inside, Chobin said cheerfully," Chobin said cheerfully. Ash and Pikachu grimaced in disgust.

"But wait…if you weren't the least bit concerned for Chobin's safety, then why have you stuck around all this time instead of just booking it?" Ash asked.

Tarantulas shrugged. "I vanted to see how ze Robo-Groudon prototype faired in actual fight. Zanks to your impromptu combat test, I now know vhat I need to fix in ze next model. I must applaud boz of you, due to your efforts, ze next Robo-Groudon vill be even stronger zan ze one you just fought! Perhaps you vill be able to test zat one out for me too, hmm?"

Leo groaned. "Aw, man…we've been totally punk'd!"

"What?" asked a confused Ash.

"Never mind," said Leo.

The hangar started rumbling ominously. "Hmm, I zink zat's my cue to leave. Zis place should be collapsing any minute now, vouldn't vant to be here ven zat happens, ja? Chobin, I'll see you back at ze lab. As for you two… Auf Wiedersehen, until ve meet again!" Laughing, he retreated back into his ship. The loading ramp closed up behind him, and the vessel started moving for the giant hole at the far end of the room.

"No! He's getting away!" Leo cried.

"Not if I can do something about it," Ash said, throwing Chobin away and hurling an Aura Sphere at the ship. It exploded harmlessly against its force field. Undaunted, he started running after the vehicle, when a turret popped out of a hatch on its underside and fired laser bolts at his feet. He yipped in alarm and hopped backwards. "Okay, I guess I can't do anything about it. Why didn't he use that thing before?!"

"Combat test?" Leo reminded him.

"Oh, right," said Ash. He tried to advance again, but the turret fired more lasers, pushing him and Leo back to keep them from getting too close to the escaping ship. "Dammit!"

"We're too late!" Leo cried as the ship flew out through the big hole and into the open skies. "And he's got the Star Badges and map! We're fucked!"

"We still know where one is," Ash said. "We can try and get there before they do."

"Yeah, I highly doubt we'll make it in time," Leo said pessimistically. "Considering how far we'd need to travel to get…there," he said, remembering that Chobin was still there. He was not willing to let the Nihilator know the location of the next Star, even if he probably wouldn't remember it when the Doctor cloned him back to life again. "I repeat, we're hosed."

"I thought you said we were fucked," said Ash.

"It means roughly the same thing," Leo replied.

"Oh," said Ash.

…

"Zat vent vell, don't you zink?" Tarantulas asked the robot spiders manning the cockpit of his ship as they flew away from the Tree and towards the waiting mothership. "I got ze map and two Star Badges, captured ze legendary golems, tested out ze Robo-Groudon prototype, killed several dozen innocent Pokemon, and almost broke a young mon's sanity. It's too bad about Chobin, but ve'll have him back shortly, yes?" The spiders chittered in agreement. The Doctor chuckled, and then frowned thoughtfully. "It is odd zough, zat ze Shadow didn't vant me to just capture zat Lucario he seems so interested in…oh vell, maybe next time. I hope I get a chance to dissect him at some point, I've never been able to examine a Lucario before. Who knows vhat sorts of zings I could find inside?" He giggled ghoulishly.

Abruptly, an alarm went off, and all the ship's lights turned red as a klaxon blared. The spiders jumped about in surprise, and Tarantulas stiffened. "Zat's ze intruder alert! But what-" He gasped, his wireless connection to the ship's systems telling him what was going on. "NO! Ze Stars! Someone's trying to take zem! Seal ze cargo area off and fill it viz poison gas! Kill whoever's in zere!" One of the spiders said something that caused the Doctor's mechanical eye to flash in rage. "Vhat?! Vhat do you mean ve're out of poison…oh. Chobin was sucking on it again." He sighed wearily. "Zat crazy rascal…fine, keep ze area sealed anyvay and flood it viz spiders…vhat?! Ze intruder's iced up all ze spider vents?! Who IS ZIS?!"

Angrily, he tapped into the ship's security cameras and gazed into the cargo hold. Much to his surprise, he saw what appeared to be a Sneasel carrying two pouches, one of which was glittering with life crystals, the other of which plainly held his hard-won prizes. After a moment's analysis, Tarantulas realized it wasn't a Sneasel at all, but a Buneary dressed up as one. How very curious. He thought he had seen the Buneary snooping about earlier, killing off his guards and stealing life crystals. He hadn't really done anything about it since he had been more focused on capturing the Rescue Team at the time, and besides, it wasn't as if he didn't have plenty of Nihilators or life crystals to spare.

He wondered how it had gotten on board, but then he noticed that one of his precious cocooned meals was torn open and lying on the floor against some crates. The rabbit must have somehow concealed herself inside one so that she could be smuggled onboard, using the half-digested corpse still inside to shield herself from his scanners. How ingenious…and somewhat disgusting. "I don't know who you zink you are," he shouted, his voice carried into the cargo area through the ship's PA system. "But you aren't getting avay viz zis! I vorked hard to get zat treasure, and I'm not letting you have it! I suggest you surrender now, and I'll just kill you _vizout_ experimenting on you first!"

The Buneary replied by quickly scanning the room, forming a half-dozen ice kunai in her paws, and flinging them at the security cameras. The feed from each one dissolved into a flurry of static, causing Tarantulas to snarl as he lost his visuals of the hold. "Zat little…all right, it's time to show her who she's dealing viz! Come!" He exited the cockpit, and whichever spiders weren't needed to pilot the ship followed him.

They scurried through the ship until they reached the large bulkhead door sealing off the cargo area. Tarantulas opened it just a crack so that there was a tiny gap at the bottom; too small for the ninja to escape through but more than enough room for his minions to crawl through. "Kill her," he ordered his legions. "Strip ze flesh from her bones."

They swarmed into the hold to do just that. Using his connection to their processors to look through their optics, he watched as the spiders spread throughout the hold, covering the walls and floors, checking every cranny and crevice, looking in each box and machine, and examining every possible hiding place. They couldn't find a trace of the intruder. Tarantulas frowned. "Vhat ze…vhere did she go?!" He briefly considered going in to look for her himself, but immediately dismissed the thought. This had to be some sort of trick; she was hiding somewhere in the room and the instant he opened the door she'd rush right out and escape. Hmm, unless…

Using his mechanical spinnerets, he wove a web of incredibly thin, nearly invisible metal thread that completely spanned the hallway right outside the door to the cargo bay. Then he remotely opened the door completely, ordered his spiders to withdraw, and waited patiently behind the web. This was the only exit from the room, save for the closed loading ramp, and the mysterious thief would have no choice but to go through his trap if she wanted to escape.

He was wrong. Neither the Doctor nor his spiders had noticed the very inconspicuous-looking tiny explosives the Buneary had planted along the seams of the boarding ramp in the brief moment of free time she had had between destroying the cameras and the Doctor sending his minions in. They detonated simultaneously, tearing the ramp off its frame and causing it to fall out and to the ground far below, leaving a gaping hole in its place. The sudden change in air pressure caused a huge gust of wind to flow out through the hole, sucking some of the lighter equipment and goods in the hold out into open space, shifting the larger objects, and causing the ship to wobble as its equilibrium was thrown off. The alarmed Doctor dug his legs into the floor to keep from being sucked into his own web, cursing himself for not expecting such a possibility.

Inside the hold, the Buneary abruptly emerged from a shadow (had she just been hiding there, or had she somehow been _inside_ it?), rushed for the hole she had made, and leaped out of the ship. A large glider kite with the emblem of a dragon's claw on its wings unfolded from a nearly invisible pack on her back, catching the breeze and allowing her to soar back towards the Tree of Beginning. "NO!" the Doctor roared in fury, slicing the web apart with his laser and rushing after the ninja. Avoiding the boxes and equipment sliding all over the place, he leaped out through the hole after her, firing some webbing at the ceiling of the hold to anchor himself as he plummeted, minirockets emerging from his sides and membranes forming between his legs so that he could glide as well rather than simply falling straight for the ground far below. As he quickly caught up to the ninja, his rocket boosters lending him more speed than the wind did her kite, he fired another strand of webbing from his mouth at the pouch holding the map and Star Badges he so desperately sought. He attempted to yank it from the ninja's side, but the Buneary, realizing she was being pursued, dug her claws into it to keep it from getting away. However, the Doctor's pull was too strong from her, and when she dug her claws in deeper to get a better grip the pouch wound up splitting in two, causing its precious contents to spill out and begin to fall.

The Doctor shrieked in alarm and dove after the treasures, firing more web strands to grab the Stars before they could get too far. As he reeled them in, however, he noticed that the map was nowhere to be seen. Angling his rockets to fly back up, he saw that the Buneary had managed to snatch it in her claws before it could get away from her, and was clutching it tightly to her chest. He fired a laser at one of the wings of her kite, vaporizing it and causing the Buneary to start spinning out of control, letting go of the map in the process. Laughing triumphantly, he fired yet another strand of webbing to snatch up the piece of parchment and reeled that in too…

And frowned once he had it close enough to hold in his claws, sensing that something was wrong. The map didn't look nearly as old as he remembered, and…there was something written on it, whereas before the map had been completely blank! He blinked in confusion at the single word staring up at him in black ink: _Gotcha!_ "'Gotcha?'" he murmured. "Vhat does zat-"

The map exploded in his face. Seconds later, the kite-wearing Buneary he had shot down exploded as well, into a puff of smoke. The real Buneary, her glider still completely intact and the true map clutched in her claws, smirked at how easily Tarantulas had fallen for her duplication trick and continued flying towards the large hole still visible in the side of the Tree, despite the structure shaking dangerously, boulders and ledges snapping off and falling down in large rockslides, and myriad explosions erupting all over the place. Behind her, Tarantulas groaned as he dangled from the strand still connecting him to his ship, his face blackened by soot and his boosters and membranes damaged by the explosion. "Ugh…I hate ninjas…" he groaned, coughing up some smoke. "Oh vell…at least I got ze Star Badges, so Oblivion's Shadow von't be _too_ mad at me." He frowned in thought. "Hmm…but her style…zere is somezing…_familiar_ about it…and vas zat emblem on her kite vhat I zought it vas?"

…

Back in the Tree…

"For the last time, tell me! What did you guys do to Misty?! Where are you keeping her and Gardevoir?!" Ash demanded, furiously shaking Chobin, who appeared to be having the time of his life.

"Hehehehehe! Ooh, this is so much fun! Hurt Chobin more, hurt Chobin more! Break some ribs, tear off one of Chobin's limbs, pull out Chobin's tongue, put out Chobin's eyes! Then maybe Chobin will tell you what you want to know…or not! Hahahahaha!...Chobin laughed," the battered and bruised Sunflora giggled madly.

"Ash, give it up, he's not gonna talk!" Leo said anxiously as the room's shaking got worse and larger and larger rocks started falling from the ceiling. "We've gotta get outta here and meet up with Michael and Pikachu…assuming they're still alive…damn, this whole thing was a bust!"

"Not until he tells me _where she is!"_ Ash snarled angrily.

Chobin smirked. "Awww, you really do care for her, don't you? Chobin will take pity on you and give you a hint. We sent your Vaporeon friend to the stars!...Chobin said."

"To the stars?" asked a baffled Ash. "What's that supposed to mean?!"

Leo frowned. "When you say 'stars', do you mean that you actually launched her into outer space, or is that a euphemism for saying that you killed her…or sent her to Hollywood?"

Chobin grinned. "That's something you'll have to figure out on your own! BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!...Chobin laughed!"

Ash almost lost it then. "YOU!" he roared, drawing his burning fist back to smash the Sunflora's face in.

Leo gasped. "Ash, wait! Look over there!"

Ash blinked and turned around. "Huh? Whoa! What the…"

Much to their surprise, something was flying back towards the hangar cave. As that something swooped through the gaping hole in the side of the Tree and gently glided to a stop on the ground not far from them, it revealed itself to be their 'friend' the ninja Buneary, a large glider kite with the same dragon-claw symbol from that medallion she had had earlier emblazoned on both its wings. As they watched in astonishment, the ninja tossed off the kite, bounded over, and extended a claw. In that claw was the rolled-up map to the Star Badges.

Stunned, Ash took the map from her and unrolled it, checking to make sure it was the real thing. "Whoa…this is…but how did you get this?!"

"You stole the map back from that no-good bug! Awesome!" Leo exulted. "Did you happen to get the Badges, too?" The ninja shook her head. "Oh well," Leo said, not looking overly upset by this. "We'll get them back eventually." He frowned. "Too bad about the golems, though…" The ninja glared at him, looking annoyed. What, did he not think risking her life and limb to get a piece of paper was good enough? Dumbass.

"What?! You outwitted the Doctor?! IMPOSSIBLE!...Chobin cried," Chobin cried.

"I don't understand," Ash said, glancing up from the map. "Why did you do this for us?"

"Ooh, I know!" Leo said. "It's because she's realized the power of friendship and wants to join our team so that we can both get what we want, and she stole the map back as a token of our new partnership!" The ninja glared at him. Leo wilted. "Or she might have gotten it for us because she felt she owed us for our helping her get that other scroll earlier and doesn't like leaving a debt unpaid or something."

"I don't know why or how you got this back, but…thank you," Ash told the Buneary gratefully. "You may have just saved the world, or at least prolonged its destruction for a little longer."

"You stupid bitch!...Chobin yelled!" Chobin yelled angrily.

The cave shook some more. Cracks started to form in the ceiling, and small explosions and fires burst out all over the walls. "We're out of time! Let's get out of here!" Leo said.

"Will you be coming down with us?" Ash asked the ninja as he pulled an Escape Orb from his knapsack. "I don't think Pikachu would mind…ah, seeing you again." Leo snickered at that.

The Buneary raised an eyebrow, then shook her head and pointed at her glider…which was promptly crushed by one of the much larger boulders falling from the ceiling. She rather quickly changed her mind.

"And what about him? Are we taking him or leaving him?" Leo asked, indicating Chobin.

Chobin scoffed. "Ha! Chobin would rather die than be rescued by do-gooders like yourselves! In fact, Chobin thinks that's exactly what Chobin will do!...Chobin declared." He rushed into the path of a plummeting boulder.

"What? No, stop!" Ash cried.

"Until next time, fink-Rattatas! And Turtle Titan…we will meet again, and next time the Arackaiser will destroy you, and your sidekick too!...Chobin promised!" the Sunflora said just before the boulder landed on him, crushing him flat and spraying blood and green plant juice everywhere.

"He…he killed himself," whispered the shocked Leo.

"If what the Doctor said can be believed, he'll be back soon enough," Ash said with a frown. He wondered how man of their other dead foes the Doctor might have backed up in his lab, waiting for a new chance at life…

But that was something to worry about for another day. "Come on, everyone get close, it's time to go," Ash said, beckoning for the other two to press themselves against him. Leo eagerly hugged Ash's leg, while the ninja more reluctantly touched him with a claw at arm's length. "All right, we need to think of the place where we first met Michael. That's our rendezvous point. If…I mean, Pikachu and Michael will definitely be there."

"But wait, ninja bunny hasn't been there!" Leo realized. She glared at him. "Er, sorry, didn't mean to come up with a lame nickname, but you've never told us your real name, so…"

"Then clear your mind and don't think of anything at all, Leo and my memories of that place should guide us there," Ash told the ninja, who nodded in understanding. Ash took a deep breath. "Okay…" He pushed a button on top of the Escape Orb and closed his eyes. "Here we go!" The trio shimmered and disappeared in a flash of light. Moments later, the entire hangar cave collapsed, huge slabs of stone crashing down where they had just been standing.

Massive explosions and huge gouts of flame ravaged the Tree of Beginning as it entered the last stage of its death throes, tearing huge holes in its sides and sending pieces of rock and crystal and organic matter flying everywhere. A loud groan rumbled throughout the region as all the air inside the Tree rushed out through the gaping wounds across its form, causing it to sound like it was emitting a death rattle, which wasn't far off from the truth. As more explosions erupted at the base of the Tree's trunk, the immense rock formation finally gave up the ghost and started to crumble, causing the various levels of 'leaves' and 'branches' to collapse on top of each other with great crashes of stone against stone. Beneath the weight and kinetic force of these consecutive collapses, the weakened trunk shattered in a flurry of rock shards and crystal fragments, and the whole crown of the Tree plummeted to the ground, smashing with incredible force and causing the earth for miles around to tremble. Trees fell over and sections of ground caved in as the great Tree roots supporting them imploded, causing hundreds of tons of dirt and stone and plant matter to flow in to fill in the vacated space. There was chaos everywhere as indigenous Pokemon flew or rushed from the scene, and a great mushroom cloud of smoke and dust rose from the Tree's remains, blotting out the sun and engulfing the surrounding forest and mountains in darkness.

Doctor Tarantulas cackled gleefully as he reeled himself back into his ship, the Diamond and Emerald Star Badges glittering in his claws. "Incredible! Vhat a spectacle! Such destruction and upheaval…ze ecosystem of zis place vill never be ze same! Oh, Chobin vould have loved to see zis, a shame he probably died inside vhere he couldn't get ze best view. Good zing I'm recording zis for him." He checked the gemstones he was carrying to ensure, once again, that he actually had them and that they were not fakes. "Two Star Badges…not bad, even if I did lose ze map. Hoho, von't ze Shadow be pleased, and Bellum envious?" He frowned to himself. "But zat ninja…who vas she? And vhy did her style of ninjitsu seem familiar? Unless…could it be?" His eye widened as a thought occurred to him. "Hmm. Perhaps I should ask _him_. If she is who I zink she is…he vill be most interested. Most interested indeed." Giggling and plotting, the Doctor retreated inside his vessel and set a course for home. He had much work to do, and many plans to carry out, few of which would be beneficial to Team Aurabolt or their mysterious ally.

…

Ash, Leo, and the ninja reappeared in a flash in the clearing where they had first met Michael. To their surprise, not only were they met by Pikachu and Michael (whom they had just _known_ were okay), but by several dozen other Pokemon, all of whom looked like they had suffered a great deal of physical abuse and hunger in a short time. The Pokemon started when the three newcomers teleported in and nearly fell over themselves in fright and exhaustion as they tried to get away, fearing a new threat. "It's okay, everyone, these are the Pokemon I was telling you about! They're friends, and they came to help me save you!" Michael shouted to the liberated Caretakers. Pipi and Mimi, still hanging on to Michael's sides, waved in agreement. Hearing these reassuring words from their Protector, the Caretakers somewhat cautiously calmed down and eyed Ash, Leo, and the ninja with curiosity and suspicion, but little fear.

"Ash, Leo! Are you all right? You both look a little beat up…especially you, Leo! And…" Pikachu froze when he saw the Buneary. "Uh…hello again," he said awkwardly as blood flowed to his already red cheeks. "Um…what is she doing here?"

"She showed up out of nowhere to help us get the map back from Tarantulas before he could escape with it!" Ash said, showing Pikachu the map.

"Really?" asked the surprised Pikachu. "Um…thank you. I guess I misjudged you earlier. If you came back to help us when you didn't need to, then you must have more compassion than I would have expected from a ninja. Er, no offense." The Buneary shrugged, not looking like she cared what he thought.

"Hey Pikachu, why don't you give her a kiss out of gratitude?" Leo said slyly. Both Pikachu and the ninja glared daggers at him, causing him to yelp and pull his head into his shell.

"We have the map back? That's great!" said Michael. "Did she get back the Stars, too? And the golems?" The ninja shook her head. Michael's face fell. "Oh…then that means the Emerald Star Badge is still gone…and our guardian giants…"

"And so's our home," one of the refugee Pokemon, a Sentret, said bitterly. "Now we're homeless and destitute. Some Protector you turned out to be." Michael flinched. Pipi and Mimi started sparking up, angry that anyone would try to hurt their friend and savior at a time like this.

They weren't the only ones who fell that way. "Hey, that's no way to talk to him! If it weren't for Michael, most of us would probably be dead by now! He did the best he could, we all did!" another Caretaker, an Omanyte, said indignantly. There were several shouts and murmurs of agreement at this, and the Sentret apologized and backed down, admitting his error. Michael lightened up a little. Apparently they majority of his people didn't blame him for his failure to protect them all or their home. Too bad _he_ still blamed himself…the blind Plusle and Minun at his side patted him reassuringly to let them know that no matter what, they would always support him. That made him feel even better.

Leo frowned. "Speaking of which, why _aren't _you all dead? When we ran into Tarantulas, he said that he had sent the signal that would kill all of you the minute he left the heart chamber. He also said he left behind a whole bunch of goons to ambush Michael and Pikachu when they showed up and found your dead bodies."

Pikachu frowned. "Is that so? Because when we got there, we found these guys completely all right…and a bunch of dead Nihilators."

Leo and Ash exchanged surprised looks. "Dead Nihilators?!"

"Yeah, it was the weirdest thing," said a Shieldon. "They all started convulsing all of a sudden and dropped dead. We would have made a break for it if whatever evil spell the Doctor cast on us wasn't keeping us in place."

"A spell which would have stayed on us and caused us to die with our Tree if Michael hadn't come to save us!" a Rhyhorn spoke up, clearly not as angry at the Leafeon for failing to save the Tree as that other guy had been. The others cheered at this.

Michael flushed in embarrassment. Leo, who had built the darn thing responsible and knew it wasn't magic, was mildly annoyed that he wasn't getting any credit for it. "So you were able to make the machine work okay?" Leo asked Pikachu.

"Yeah, and it's still in one piece," Pikachu said, handing the complicated gizmo back. "So we can use it again if we ever run into any other chip-controlled Pokemon."

Leo shook his head. "They'll probably have changed the satellite frequency and made it harder to do by then. I'll have to figure out some other way to short out the chips if we ever find anymore." He frowned. "And speaking of chips…why'd those Nihilators die instead of the Caretakers?"

"Maybe the Doctor sent the signal to the wrong group by accident?" Ash suggested.

Leo shook his head. "No, Chobin might've done that, but the Doctor's way too smart…hmm…too bad it's too late for me to go back and get a look at one of those chips, it might have told me something."

"There's no point worrying over it now," Michael said. "For whatever reason, the Doctor's plan failed, and I was able to save my people. And…when you caught up to him, were you able to give him a good thrashing? You said he managed to escape, but…"

"We…didn't actually get a chance to fight him ourselves," Ash admitted reluctantly, eliciting disappointed groans from the Caretakers who had suffered so much at his legs.

"We got to fight that crazy assistant of his, though. And killed him! Well, technically he killed himself…" Leo said. The Caretakers, who were about as fond of Chobin as they were of the Doctor, cheered.

"Yeah, too bad he's going to come back," Ash said grumpily. "Since death has little hold over him."

They stared at him in confusion. "You mean he's going to come back like…a zombie or something?!" asked the alarmed Michael.

"He'll eat our brains!" a Quagsire screamed. "Moreso than he already did, that is!" Nobody liked the sound of that.

"No, no, not a zombie, the Doctor's just going to clone him back to life," Leo said.

The Caretakers stared at him now. "What's a clone?" asked the confused Michael.

"Uh…it's like…um…basically Doctor Tarantulas has a whole ton of spare…bodies I guess floating in tubes back in his main laboratory, and whenever Chobin dies he just pops out a new one," Leo tried to explain. The Caretakers gasped in horror, shocked at the idea that one of their tormentors might be unable to ever truly die, as well as by the notion that Doctor Tarantulas was so powerful he could control life and death.

"…That's incredibly disturbing," said the disturbed Pikachu.

"Tell me about it," said Leo. "Oh, and it turns out that Chobin's actually been my online archrival Arachkaiser all this time. Who knew, huh?"

"You have fought him before?" asked a surprised Kabuto. "You must be a great warrior to have defeated such a monster…even if he does keep…'cloning' back?"

Leo laughed sheepishly. "A great warrior? Well, uh, I guess that's one way of putting it…"

"No it isn't," Pikachu said, rolling his eyes.

"Hey, I helped defeat a giant robot that looked like Groudon!" Leo retorted. Ash glared at him, and he quickly amended his statement. "Well, okay, Ash destroyed it, but I helped!"

"You defeated Groudon?!" asked the same Kabuto. All the Caretakers started looking at Leo with interest and wondering if perhaps he was much more powerful than he appeared.

"What? No, no, it wasn't REALLY Groudon, but a robot! You know, like those fake spider thingies Tarantulas sent to spy on you and eat you and stuff," Leo said, knowing they probably didn't understand what a robot was.

This only made the Caretakers even more troubled and confused. "The Doctor created a false Groudon? I'm amazed he hasn't been struck down yet—or eaten—for such blasphemy!" one Zigzagoon said angrily.

"I take it nobody's told them about…er…you-know-who being on the dark side now?" Ash whispered to Pikachu.

Pikachu shook his head. "With everything else that's gone wrong in their lives, we didn't really see any point in telling them that some of the guardian deities of our world have become evil and are actively trying to kill them."

"Good call," Leo approved. "They're gonna find out eventually, though."

"I'll deal with that when the time comes," Michael said.

Ash raised an eyebrow. "_You_ will?"

Michael hesitated. "I…yes. I am." He took a deep breath. "I've…been asked by the others to stay here rather than going with you. Now that our Tree has been destroyed, we have nowhere to live. We'll have to fend for ourselves, find food, build shelter, and all that kind of stuff. This is a time of great change and upheavals for my people. And…and the people need a leader in such times. They decided that I should be that leader."

"Huh! Can't say that I'm surprised," Leo said, rather impressed.

Ash nodded in agreement. "I don't think they could have chosen a better Pokemon for the job. We're gonna miss you, though."

Michael sighed. "Personally, I don't think I'm the right choice for the position. I mean, if I couldn't save my grandmother, or the Tree, or…or Jovi…" He bit his lip and tried to keep from crying. "Then…how am I supposed to lead my people into a new age, one that will be fraught with hardships and all sorts of dangerous trials?"

"You may not have been able to save your family or home," Pikachu said. "But you did help to save what was left of your people. I wouldn't have been able to find my way to where they were being held if you hadn't mustered up your courage, set your troubles aside for the moment, and led me to them."

Michael nodded. "I know. And that, more than anything else, is why I agreed to stay rather than to just run off with you guys in pursuit of the Doctor and the other Star Badges. The fact that I was able to save them, to do anything at all, reminded me that I'm not a complete failure. I still think I am unworthy to be Protector of my people, but I know that they need me now more than ever, and if I were to leave them, even to do more good elsewhere, I would be truly betraying my heritage and the memory of Grandma and…and Jovi..."

"I'm sure that this is what they would want you to do," Pikachu assured the Leafeon, understanding to an extent. After all, he had a lifelong duty that ran in the family as well.

Michael smiled faintly and nodded. "I'd like to think so too."

"So what are you guys going to do now?" Ash asked Michael.

"Well," said the Protector. "We're going to have to try and find a new home. Get food for ourselves. Heal our wounds. Recover from all that we have suffered. It's going to be hard, but I think we can do it if we work together." He frowned. "But first, before all that…there's one very important thing we have to do."

"Party?" Leo suggested. The others gave him shocked looks. "What? Isn't that what you're supposed to do after a victory or completing a plot arc? We had one back at Turtle Town after we got the Star Badge and ended Tiama's reign of terror."

"Leo, we celebrated because the majority of the people Tiama ate were returned to their families, albeit in skeleton form, including your father," Pikachu pointed out rather sternly. "Not only was the home of the Caretakers completely destroyed, but none of the friends and family _they_ lost are ever coming back."

"…Oh," Leo said quietly. "Then that means…"

"Yes," Michael said sadly. "We're having a funeral."

…

The funerary service was unfamiliar to any of Team Aurabolt (save, of course, for Michael.). Ash and Pikachu had only attended Arcean funerals presided over by the ordained Father Yamiri before, and in Turtle Town they had never really gotten the chance to ever have funerals for the people Tiama ate out of fear that it would take up too much time that could be spent harvesting crops for the undead dragon and lead to someone else getting eaten. None of them knew what sorts of funerals the ninja Buneary—who, for some reason, had not yet left—had experienced, so they didn't know if she had ever been to one like this either.

Michael told them that, when they had lived in the Tree of Beginning, whenever someone died they would briefly preserve the body using special crystals and fluids and hold a wake where everyone who had been related to or close to the deceased talked about the times they had spent with the deceased Pokemon, all the memories of good and bad times they had with them, that sort of thing. There were always lots of tears, naturally. Once it was all finished, the body would be consumed by the Tree's antibodies so that the dead Pokemon's organic matter could be processed into nutrients to help sustain the Tree. However, since they didn't have any of the bodies of the countless Caretakers who had been callously murdered by the Nihilators, and because the Tree itself had been completely destroyed, that wasn't exactly an option.

Instead, they had built a memorial made of rocks, fragments of crystal, bits of rags, and other mementos that the Caretakers had managed to hide from the Nihilators and keep on their persons during their imprisonment. It was all they had left of their home, and now they were giving it up to honor their fallen. After scavenging for some food (Team Aurabolt more than willing to help, even giving up some of their own food to the severely malnourished Pokemon), the speeches began. One at a time, a Caretaker would step up on a tree stump they had turned into a makeshift podium at the base of the crude memorial and talk about who they, personally, had lost in the last few weeks. Children spoke of their parents, spouses of their mates, parents and grandparents of their children, relatives of their cousins and uncles and aunts, and friends of friends. Each Caretaker took several minutes to talk in depth about the friends and family they had lost, about how the deceased had left them, and about the memories of those who were gone that the living would always treasure. There wasn't a dry eye in the clearing, and tears seemed to gush that more freely whenever one of the speakers mournfully spoke of their home, the Tree of Beginning, of all the wonders and miracles of that place, of all the secret passages and tunnels and vistas that they had discovered and hid from everyone else so it could remain their little secret, of all the little quirks and mysteries that had so characterized the massive living rock formation and made it seem as much a part of their family as everybody else in the tight-knit Caretaker community.

Leo bawled like a baby quite frequently and went through several handkerchiefs, Pikachu found himself sniffing and misting up quite a lot, and Ash could not help but feel connected with these Pokemon who had suffered so much…all the while feeling a dull ache inside that made him wonder if he had lost everyone too, and if his world were truly destroyed, like Leo had surmised. The mysterious ninja whose name they still did not know was possibly the only one who didn't cry, but she didn't leave either, bearing silent witness to the proceedings from a high branch on a nearby tree.

Since there were quite a few Caretakers present to talk and quite a few Pokemon who needed remembrance, the funeral went on for several hours, and it was well past sunset when Michael finally took the stand and, in a small, quiet voice, spoke of his grandmother and sister, of how horribly they had been killed and the monstrous things the Doctor and his mad assistant did to them before they died. He spoke, briefly, of everyone else who had died, for while he had not been related to most of them by blood, they had still been a part of his family, for as the Protector all who dwelled inside the Tree were his responsibility. And finally, he spoke beautifully about the Tree of Beginning, how it had sheltered and provided for them, and how it had cared for them in turn. He spoke of how without it, the world was just a little bit harder and less magical, and life would never be the same. But no matter what they had to keep going, no matter how bad things looked or whatever problems they would have in the future, for as long as each of them still lived then so, in a way, did the Tree, for in each of them lay the seeds of the future, waiting for fertile soil to sprout and bring new trees of hope to the world.

At the end he broke down and turned into a sobbing wreck, the brave façade he had maintained for the last few hours so he could appear strong to his friends and teammates cracking and allowing the full weight of his grief to gush out. This set everyone off crying again, and by the time they were all out of tears their eyes were very dry and red. (Fortunately, Leo had some eyedrops that fixed that right up.) Once they were all cried out, they hungrily dug into the food they had gathered earlier, trying to fill the void caused by the loss of their loved ones and their Tree…and also due to the Nihilators not feeding them very well while they were in captivity.

During the big feast, Leo approached Michael, who was surrounded by friends and well-wishers all trying to draw on each other for support and comfort and quietly asked to speak with him in private. Shaking off the reluctant Pipi and Mimi and his other followers, Michael went with Leo to a corner where they could speak by themselves. "Listen, Michael," Leo said quietly to his friend. "What happened today…what you've had to go through, what you're going to go through, it's…I know it must feel horrible for you and everyone else, but…to be honest, I'm kind of inspired."

"Inspired?" asked the surprised Michael. "Why?"

"Because, despite all the shit that's been thrown at you, despite losing your family and home and getting tortured and stuff, you haven't broken. I mean, yeah, you feel bad, we all do, but you haven't given up. You're still pressing forward, to do the right thing for your people and everyone else. That takes guts, man!" Leo said admiringly.

"I…I'm just doing what I have to do," Michael said sheepishly. "I don't think I could possibly do anything else."

"Exactly! That's what makes you totally awesome, dude. You're my new hero! Well, one of them, anyway," said Leo. "It's a shame we're gonna have to leave you behind, but you'll always be one of us! Like Ash and Pikachu said earlier, as long as you wear that Rescue Team Badge, our hearts will beat as one, or something like that. I'm sure that'll help us be reunited some day in some future crisis that has not yet occurred when we need all our allies and the Badges will serve as a convenient plot device to either bring the far-flung members of all the world's Rescue Teams together for one ultimate battle against the forces of evil or serve as a way to lend the core team members everyone else's energy so they can become super-strong and stuff!" Michael stared at him. "What? It happens in anime all the time!"

Michael couldn't help smiling at that. "Thanks, Leo. That means a lot. I'm going to miss you too, and all your weirdness. Is that what you wanted to tell me?"

Leo paused. "Well, uh…there's one other thing. I, um, kinda took some life crystals back when we were in the quarry, even though you told me not to."

Michael stiffened. "You what?!"

"I thought they'd be useful later! And besides, it was only a few…" Leo said anxiously, reaching into his shell and pulling out the handful of faintly glowing gems he had taken. "But, well, after everything that's happened, I thought…that it would be wrong to just take this. It's a part of your heritage and culture. A remnant of your home. For me to deprive you of it would be like stealing, like the Nihilators and the ninja girl, but at least I'm willing to own up to it and give these back, while I highly doubt any of them will. And besides, you might be able to use these to do some good for some people, since you know more about them than I do. So…take them. They're yours. Always were, really."

Michael stared at the glittering jewels for a moment, an unreadable expression on his face. "…No. You take them."

Leo blinked in surprise. "What? You sure?"

Michael nodded slowly. "I appreciate your offer, but…the Tree of Beginning is dead. Having some of its crystals back won't return it to us. While it would be nice to have some remnant of it, in the end all I think it'll do is make us pine for what we once had. If we're to survive in the future, we're going to have to leave our past behind…because sometimes, clinging to it too strongly will only slow you down."

"That's a very mature thing to say," said the impressed Leo. "That only makes you even cooler in my book, you realize that, right?"

Michael smirked. "Yeah…"

"So, just checking, you really want me to have these?" Leo asked, just to be sure.

Michael nodded. "Yeah. Like you said…they might be useful later."

Leo smirked. "Cool." He put the gems away…and was startled when his sunglasses, which he had put in his shell a while ago, vibrated against his hand. "Huh?" He pulled the shades out and was surprised to find that they were glowing. Perplexed, he put them on…and gasped. "Whoa!"

"What is it?" Michael asked worriedly.

"By confessing to my stealing the life crystals and learning some valuable life lesson or whatever, I've unlocked a new power for my sunglasses!" Leo announced. "And it is…night vision. Wait, what?!"

"That's pretty cool," Michael said, impressed.

"No it's not!" Leo protested. "Ash can already see in the dark using Aura-sight, and I have night-vision goggles in my shell in case he can't use that! Now I basically have _two_ things that let me see in the dark. What a rip-off!"

"You could give the goggles to one of the others," Michael suggested.

"Yeah, maybe," Leo sighed, taking off his sunglasses and examining them again. "Oh well. I guess it's better than nothing. Maybe next time I'll get X-ray vision or something, so I can see through walls!"

"Can't Ash do that too?" Michael asked.

"Not in places full of Aura like the Tree. X-ray vision would definitely come in handy in places like that…and let me see into the lady's room," Leo said.

"The what now?" Michael asked.

"You know, the…oh, that's right, you guys didn't have indoor plumbing, did you? Where'd you go when you needed to take care of business, like what I did before we headed for the heart chamber?" Leo asked.

Michael blinked. "Business? Oh! Well, we just did it wherever. Not where it'd get in anyone's way, of course."

Leo stared at him. "…You just did it all over the floor? Wasn't that kind of…disrespectful or something to the Tree?"

"Not when the antibodies ate it after we left the area," Michael said.

Leo blanched. "The antibodies."

"Yes," said Michael.

"As in, the same antibodies that we were riding in before. They might have…" Leo trailed off.

"Eaten somebody's poop in the recent past? Quite possibly, yes," Michael said.

Leo blanched. "Ewwww…now I think I need a shower."

"A what?" Michael asked.

"A…" Leo paused, then burst into laughter. "That's another thing I'm gonna miss about you, Michael, your utter lack of knowledge about the modern world."

"…Uh, thank you?" Michael asked in confusion, uncertain if he were being complimented or insulted.

Michael and Leo weren't the only heroes talking in private. Pikachu walked up to the tree in which the Buneary ninja was still perched, looking down at the Caretakers as they hungrily devoured the bark and berries they had been able to scavenge earlier. "Do you want to join us? Considering everything you've done today, you must be very hungry."

She glared at him for a moment, and then tapped her claws against the tree trunk. _No_, she said in Clickspeak.

Pikachu shrugged. "All right. I can see you're a Pokemon who doesn't like crowds." He frowned. "Which is why I'm curious…why didn't you leave hours ago? You repaid your debt to us by retrieving the map to the Star Badges from Doctor Tarantulas. There was no reason for you to stay for the funeral. And you're still here now. Why is that?"

_None of your business,_ she replied curtly.

Pikachu sighed. "You say that a lot. You're very antisocial. Have you always been this way?" She narrowed her eyes at him, but said nothing. Pikachu looked at her thoughtfully. "Like I said earlier, I think I misjudged you. You may act tough and uncaring…but there's more to you than that, isn't there? You have a heart, even if you hide it pretty well." She glared, but neither confirmed nor denied this.

Pikachu glanced over his shoulder at the Caretakers, then back up at the ninja. "The immortal Pokemon you're trying to kill. Did he kill your family and destroy your home, too? Is that why you've stayed so long? Because you felt some kind of kinship with these people?"

Her muscles clenched. Faster than the eye could see, she formed an ice kunai and flung it at Pikachu's feet, nearly piercing his toes. The mouse jumped back in alarm. _You presume too much, rodent,_ the ninja snarled. Or would have snarled, had she actually said it with a voice. _Don't you DARE try and put a label on what I feel or don't feel again, or the next one won't miss._

Pikachu eyed her with interest. "You're showing more emotion than you have in the past. That tells me I'm getting a little too close for comfort…which, oddly enough, is usually Leo's thing." He frowned. "Or maybe you just miss Pokemon-to-Pokemon interaction so much you're loosening up without realizing it?"

Her eyes flashed. She formed another ice kunai…then paused. She realized that the petulant samurai had a point. She was losing control. And she couldn't have that. Not now. Not when she was so close. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath to calm herself, allowing her blade to evaporate. She turned her back to Pikachu and, without another word (or click) hopped from her branch to another tree, then another, and another, vanishing into the night.

Pikachu scratched his chin and frowned. "Hmm…" He shrugged. "Oh well, at least she didn't kiss me again. Which I absolutely DID NOT ENJOY the first time, no matter what Ash and Leo say!" He paused. "…Who exactly am I talking to again?"

The last member of Team Aurabolt was also by himself…but unlike the others, he was all alone, with nobody to talk to. He sat on a rock and stared up at the skeletal branches of the trees rising around him (their leaves having been blown off by the Tree's cataclysmic demise) at the stars and the crescent moon in the sky far above him, wondering if Misty was up there somewhere, trying to convince himself she was still alive.

He glanced down at his paws, summoning his Aura. It burned blue and clean, unlike the somewhat alarming, somewhat darker, flame from before. He shuddered, remembering again the intense, homicidal rage he had felt upon seeing the strange cloaked figure. He didn't know why he had become so angry, but it scared him. He never wanted to experience such blind fury and hatred ever again. It felt…evil, somehow. Dangerous. Dark… "Who was that guy?" he murmured to himself. "And why did he make me feel that way? How does he know me?"

"_In your darkest nightmares…you already know who I am,"_ the leader of the Nihilators' voice whispered in his memory. Ash shivered from a cold that came from within and wrapped his arms around himself, wondering for the first time if perhaps the human he had used to be had not been as all-around good a person as he had always assumed…

…

Meanwhile in Kanjohenn…

"What?! What do you mean you can't help us?!" Latios asked angrily.

_Weren't you just thinking a minute ago how nice it would be if we could do this without him?_ Latias asked her brother telepathically.

_Shut up, sis, I'm being righteously indignant here!_ He replied. _Nobody turns down a request from my sister and gets away with it! _"We came all this way just to ask you for help to save the world from the greatest danger it's ever been in and you just say no?!"

"I-I'd like to help, but…I can't," Rayquaza said a little lamely.

"Can't or won't?!" Latios asked angrily. Rayquaza fidgeted but did not answer.

Latias frowned, sensing a strange mixture of emotions from her friend. There was conflict, uncertainty, and…fear? What could the ruler of the skies, the immortal dragon god Rayquaza, have to be afraid of? She glanced at Sabrina or Yamiri to see if they had any insight, but the wise mons seemed just as surprised as she was. "Rayquaza," she said soothingly, trying another tack. "I know this may seem like a big job, maybe bigger than anything you've ever tackled before, but I know you can do this. We can't do this without you, and I know that no matter what might be troubling you or whatever doubts you have about this and our chances of success, I believe in you. I know that with you on our side, we can't possibly fail." She gave him a winning smile, pouring on all her charm. "So please, won't you help us?"

_Nice,_ Latios said approvingly. _Hey, wait, are you trying to seduce him or something?!_

Rayquaza trembled and fidgeted some more, wilted beneath her bright smile and big puppy Growlithe eyes. "I-I'm sorry," he whimpered. "I'd love to help, honest I would, but…I can't, I just can't!"

Latias frowned. "Why not?"

"I…it's…complicated…" he mumbled uneasily.

"What's complicated about not wanting to help my sister and I save the world? Some friend you are!" Latios said angrily.

"I-it's not like that!" Rayquaza stammered. "I…um…it's…not something I can talk about…"

"Rayquaza!" Latias snapped, starting to lose her patience. "I don't understand! You're saying you want to help us, but can't, and won't even tell us why?! What's going on?!"

"Er…" said Rayquaza.

It was at that moment Nuken reappeared. "I've just seen your previous supplicants out, sire. Ah, masters Latios, Latias, Yamiri, and Sabrina! Is your business with my Lord going well?"

"No," Latios said bluntly.

"For some reason, your master is refusing to help us in a mission to save the world," Yamiri told the majordomo politely.

"Perhaps you know why?" Sabrina pressed the Shedinja.

The insect seemed as puzzled as they were. "Refusing to help save the world you are sworn to protect? Especially a request from your dearest friend Latias? That does not sound like you at all, milord. Is something the matter?"

"Nuken, to save the world they require the power of the Dragon God King," Rayquaza said imploringly.

Nuken stared at him. "So? I fail to see the prob-"

"Nuken," Rayquaza interrupted, sounding somewhat desperate. "They require _the power of the Dragon God King._"

There was a long pause. "Ah," Nuken said finally. "I see." He turned to the four. "Could you give us a moment, please? I need to speak to His Excellency in private." Before any of them could argue, the Shedinja quickly flew over to Rayquaza, and a rather large, very thick, psychic-proof curtain descended around the treasure-littered pavilion from out of nowhere, muffling the sound of a very heated argument from within.

The foursome blinked and stared at each other in confusion. "What just happened?" asked Latios.

"I don't know," said the puzzled Latias. "He's never acted like this before…"

"Most curious…" Yamiri murmured. "It's almost as if there's something he's afraid of. But he is one of the most powerful Pokemon in the world! What could he possibly fear? Sabrina, have you had any portents that might explain this?"

Sabrina shook her head. "As it has been so often as of late, the future is clouded to me."

"What about the past? I heard somewhere that Xatu can see into the past, too," Latias pressed the Mystic. "Couldn't you look back at Rayquaza's past and find out what's causing this weird behavior?"

Sabrina shook her head. "That's just a rumor, I'm afraid. I can see many things, both past and future, but rarely at will. The knowledge comes to me when it comes, and trying to find out things on my own usually just gives me a headache or shows me something I didn't want to know. If I have a vision, it is because I am meant to do so. That is the way of prophecy."

The curtain rose again and Nuken floated out, leaving a rather chastened and unhappy Rayquaza behind. "His Imperial Divinity the Almighty Rayquaza has changed his mind and deigned to help you do whatever it takes to save our world," the Shedinja said. "Isn't that right, my liege?"

Rayquaza sighed, seeming even more anxious and uneasy than before. "Yes, Nuken."

"Additionally," the ghost continued. "His Majesty has agreed to allow each of you to take as much gold and jewels from his personal collection as you can carry as an apology for inconveniencing you so with his earlier—quite foolish—refusal."

"Wh-what?!" Rayquaza started. "You never said anything about-" Nuken glared at him, and he shut up.

The four gave each other confused looks again. "Um…that's all right, but we don't really-" Latias started.

"Please," Nuken interrupted in a tone of voice that implied this was an order, not a request. "We insist." She gulped. The Shedinja could be very intimidating sometimes…or rather, all the time.

"Psh. We don't need your charity," Latios, having completely missed the ghost's subtext, snorted as he piled several necklaces, bracelets, coins, rings, wing covers, collars, goblets, and unset gemstones into his arms.

"Then why are you taking those?" Rayquaza asked.

"Because I feel like it," he said, giving Rayquaza a look that said he didn't forgive him for turning down Latias in the first place. Or for having such an unhealthy interest (in his eyes) in Latias. Or for having a nicer home than he did with tons of servants and treasure and people always worshipping him and willing to do whatever he wanted and…okay, let's just say Latios didn't forgive Rayquaza for existing and leave it at that.

As Yamiri looked for some trinkets he could use to brighten up his temple and Sabrina admired a portrait of a reclining Slakoth she thought would look good over her mantelpiece, Latias, halfheartedly taking some treasure for herself, gave Rayquaza a worried look. "Are you sure you're okay with this, Rayquaza?"

"Hmm? Oh, sure," he said, smiling weakly. "You know I would do anything for you, Latias."

She frowned. "Then why did you-"

"It's nothing," Rayquaza said rather curtly. "It's unimportant. Just forget it and leave it at that. I'm going to help you save the world, and that's all you need to know, okay?"

Latias gave him a worried look. She could still sense that, for whatever reason, he was tremendously afraid of something. She almost considered probing him psychically to find the cause of his discomfort, but knew that was incredibly rude (and painful) and could mean the end of their friendship. And since she had never read the mind of a god before, she wasn't certain she would be able to get anything definite if she tried. "…Is whatever you're hiding something that might risk what we intend to do?" she asked finally.

"No!" he said hurriedly. He hesitated. "At least…I don't think it will. It shouldn't. Honest. Trust me, you have nothing to worry about. After all, would I lie to you?"

The fact that she could sense he was, in fact, lying right then did nothing to convince her that he was all right. "I understand that you don't want to talk about it, but…remember, I'm your best friend. There's nothing you can't tell me that will change the way I feel about you. You know that, right?"

He smiled a little sadly. "Yes," he said. "I know." He also knew that what he was hiding from her, from just about everyone, really, would indeed change the way how Latias, and the whole world, felt about him.

And that was why he could never tell it to anyone, not even the dragon he cared for more than just about anything else in the world. He somewhat nervously looked at Nuken, who just stared back, his gaze silently promising that everything would work out all right. Somehow, Rayquaza was not convinced.

…

Meanwhile, in Volcano Cave…

Team Nightshade entered a chamber deep within Mt. Boyleland so hot that it made all the other chambers seem like air-conditioned five-star hotel rooms. With the refrigerators open. And the showers on with super-cold water pouring all over the place. It was massive, dome-shaped, and completely full of lava. The only solid ground they could stand on was a narrow bridge extending from the door to a large stone walkway in the shape of a ring suspended above the lava by pillars rising from the liquid rock. Four statues of crouching Machamp holding cannons above their heads using their four sturdy arms were positioned at equidistant points on the ring, each cannon barrel filled with water and aimed at a large hollow crystal weight suspended from the ceiling with holes in the side corresponding to each cannon. They looked around as they stepped off the bridge and onto the walkway, but saw nothing else in the cave.

"Well, that's funny," Gary said, hands on his hips. "There's no other way out. Which implies that this is the final chamber. So where's the compass piece?"

Evan pointed Gooey upward and squeezed him so that he sprayed water up in the air that was promptly pulled back down by gravity to rain on Mary and himself. They sighed happily as the liquid doused them and cooled them off…only for the cave's roaring heat to evaporate the water moments later and make them all hot and sweaty again. "Why don't you use the compass base to check?" Mary asked Gary, thoroughly resenting the Ghost's ability to not feel heat if he didn't want to.

"Good idea!" Gary said, taking out the base. He examined it for a moment. The needle was pointing straight down at the lava framed within the ring they were standing on. "Hmm…according to this, it should be right here, but I don't see-"

The chamber started rumbling and the lava began to churn and bubble. "The volcano'sss erupting, jussst asss I predicted! We have to get out of here!" Evan wailed, shaking Gooey about like the chew toy he was.

"Not without that compass piece we're not! We've come too far!" Gary said, rising into the air to try and get a better look at what was going on. He checked the compass base again, and then looked down at the area where the lava was being disturbed the most. "It's right there! Whatever's about to happen, it's got something to do with the compass piece!"

"I don't suppose it's going to be a pillar of rock rising from the sea of fire with the compass piece on top and not just another puzzle or monster for a change?" Mary asked hopefully.

There was a tremendous roar and the surface of the lava burst as an enormous behemoth rose from the depths, towering over them as it reared to its full height, the top of its head nearly scraping the weight dangling from the ceiling. It was unlike any Pokemon they had ever seen before, if it even was a Pokemon. (It wasn't.) All they could see of it was an immense upper body and waist, with the legs—if it had any—still immersed in the lava. Its skin was made of chunks of rock veined with lava, so it had a body completely made up of molten stone and fire. Tongues of flame licked off of the surface of its ultra-hot body and jetted from the large, spiky vents on its back. It had two long, lanky arms ending in very big hooked claws, with spikes growing from the elbows and shoulders and immense shackles with strange glowing runes etched into them wrapped around its wrists, giant chains running from the manacles to some point buried deep within the lava lake. Its head was more solid and rocky than the rest of its body, with a clearly defined beak and eyes literally burning with malevolence. A tiny, almost invisible crystal, gleamed from a spot on its forehead surrounded by spikes. It opened its beak wide and roared, its breath so hot that it nearly set the three corporeal Pokemon on fire, and they screamed and quickly squeezed Gooey to cover themselves with more water to keep from burning up or passing out from the heat.

"Guess it's the monster, then," Mary moaned as she gleefully drank more of poor, abused Gooey's water.

"Holy shit! What is that thing?!" Gary cried.

"THE THING THAT'S GONNA KILL US!" Gooey wailed. "RUUUUUUN!" None of them did. "Oh, _come on…_"

"That'sss a Devil Golem!" Evan said. "They're conssstructsss made of darkessst magic, the kind you only get by murdering people and sacrificing their sssoulsss to beingsss of pure evil. They're sssupposssed to be nearly imposssible to defeat, and once created they proceed to dessstroy absssolutely everything until sssomeone manages to kill or bind them, like thisss one mussst have been! They were all the rage during the Crisssisss Warsss for the forcesss of evil, but sssupposedly all of them were dessstroyed or imprisssoned in the Abysss. Looksss like they misssed one..."

"How do you know that?" asked an amazed Mary.

"I pay attention to Father Yamiri'sss sssermonsss and read lotsss of fantasssy novelsss in my ssspare time," Evan said. She would have sweatdropped, but didn't have enough moisture left in her body to do so.

"Whoever sealed it here must have tasked it to guard the compass piece," Gary decided. "And since I don't see Princess Sara or the Berry King anywhere, this must not be his hideout, just as we thought!"

"We're still going to need to get the piece it's protecting, though," Mary pointed out. "But how do we do that? We can't fight something that big! Plus, it's made of lava!"

"We don't fight it! We RUN!" Gooey screamed, frantically trying to wiggle out of Evan's grasp. The Ekans reflexively tightened his coils, making it harder for the Octillery to breathe. "Come on, guys! Can't we run? Please? I want to live to see the seas again…"

"No, there must be _something_ we can do!" Gary insisted, glancing around the room. He gasped, getting an idea. "Wait, I've got it!"

"Ssso do I!" Evan said, winding back his tail.

"What're you…NO! NOT AGAAAAAIIIIIIN!" Gooey screamed as Evan threw him at the Devil Golem. The Golem opened its jaws wide, snapped the Octillery up in its beak, and swallowed him whole.

Gary and Mary's jaws dropped. Evan laughed nervously. "Whoopsss…that wasssn't sssupposed to happen…"

"What the #$%&*?!" Maren, who was hiding back in the entrance to the cave, swore in disbelief.

"EVAN! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!" Gary shouted.

"YOU JUST KILLED GOOEY!" Mary screamed.

"I didn't know that would happen!" Evan protested anxiously. "I wasss aiming for that cryssstal thing on itsss head! It looksss like a weakssspot! And I figured that if I misssed, hey, he'sss a Water-type, maybe the big guy would get indigessstion or sssomething?"

Gary facepalmed. "Unbelievable…" muttered the shocked Mary.

"You IDIOT! Why did you do that?! Gooey was one of us, man!" Gary yelled.

"B-but we conssstantly missstreated and abusssed him for comedic reasssonsss!" Evan protested. "And forced him to come here againssst hisss will!"

"He was STILL one of us!" Gary insisted. "And he had the Badge to prove it! I was going to ask him to come with us after we finished up here, and if not, would have left some of the treasure we picked up on the way here behind as an apology and 'thank you' for all the stuff he's gone through for us…but now we'll never be able to do that, because YOU KILLED HIM!"

"I-I'm sssorry! It wasss an accident!" Evan whimpered.

"SORRY WON'T BRING BACK GOOEY!" Gary cried, getting bigger and scarier, as Gengars were wont to do sometimes when they were really angry. The Devil Golem roared and breathed fire into the air, causing the ghost to pause as he remembered the monster was still there. "We'll talk about a suitable punishment for you later, Evan. Right now, we need to take that Golem thing down to avenge Gooey!"

Team Nightshade proceeded to attack the Devil Golem, firing Night Shades, Poison Stings, and Vacuum Waves at the monster. Maren looked on in wonder, seeing the team in a whole new light. "They actually…cared for him, even if they mistreated him so much? Maybe…they're more heroic than I thought…"

The Devil Golem, more irritated than hurt by their attacks, roared and breathed fire at them. The trio quickly scrambled out of the way to avoid the flames. The monster tried to swipe at them with its claws, but the chains binding it were too short, so it was forced to satisfy itself with spiting fireballs at them instead. "It's no good! Our attacks don't work!" Mary commented.

"Maybe poor Gooey had the right idea after all and we ssshould ssskeddadle!" Evan suggested.

"NO!" Gary shouted. "We're not going until we have the Compass piece, and that thing pays for eating Gooey! And you'll pay for throwing him in later, Evan."

"Great…" the Ekans grumbled.

"Gary, you mentioned earlier that you had a plan. What is it?" Mary asked the Gengar.

"You see those cannons over there?" Gary asked, pointing to the cannons. "They must be pointed at that hanging thing for a reason. Look how it's positioned right over the monster's head! If I can fill it with enough water, then break it, we might be able to beat it! After all, like Evan said, water and fire don't mix…Gooey was just too small a source to put that thing out, that's all!"

"Sssoundsss like a good idea to me," Evan said, trying to ingratiate himself to Gary and make up for murdering Gooey.

"Shut up, Evan. I'm going to need you guys to distract it, though, I don't know if those cannons will be able to survive too many blows from that thing's fire breath," Gary told his teammates.

Mary frowned. "How exactly are we supposed to distract it?"

"With plan Charm!" Gary announced.

The other two gasped in horror. "Plan Charm? Do we have to?" Mary moaned. "I hate that plan…"

"I hate it even more!" Evan complained.

"And that's why you're doing it, because you deserve to suffer right now. So go! Do your thing! I'll take care of the golem," Gary said, vanishing before they could protest.

And so it was, to the reluctance of both remaining members of Team Nightshade, that a few minutes later Mary was wearing a turban and sitting on the ground, playing a flute as a very unhappy Evan wriggled and danced as he rose and sank out of a large basket. The Devil Golem, utterly dumbfounded, just stared at them rather than attacking, its small mind trying to figure out what the heck they were doing. Maren sweatdropped. "You've _got_ to be kidding me…"

"I hate thisss plan," Evan hissed unhappily as he danced like a loon. "It alwaysss makesss me feel ssso assshamed. What would my mother sssay if ssshe sssaw me doing thisss?"

"Stop complaining. You're not the one playing the flute with a stupid, hot, itchy turban on her head," Mary growled around the mouthpiece of her instrument, her lips cracked and bleeding and sweat rolling down her face in droves from the effort of playing in such execrable heat.

"Hot and bothered, aren't we?" Evan asked, prompting Mary to kick his basket. "Ow…"

Meanwhile, Gary flitted from cannon to cannon, pressing the buttons that caused them to shoot streams of water up into the big crystal weight dangling from the ceiling, slowly causing it to fill up. The Devil Golem started every time it heard the rush of water, but was too captivated by Evan's almost hypnotic swaying and jiggling to turn its head and see where the noise was coming from. As a result, in very short order all the cannons had been fired and the weight had been completely filled with water.

Gary floated up to the weight and charged up a Shadow Ball in his hands. "Okay, you molten freak," he growled. "I think it's time you took a shower! 'Cause you stink! Of fire and brimstone and sulphur and stuff!" He sweatdropped. "That sounded better in my head…"

He threw the Shadow Ball. It exploded against the weight, causing it to shatter and spill its contents, several hundred gallons worth of water, right onto the Devil Golem's head. It reared back and screamed in pain as the water rained down on it, steam rising from its form in immense plumes as the liquid sizzled against its hide. It breathed fire into the air in fury and agony as its molten skin, cooled by the water, began to harden and solidify, turning the giant beast into an immense stone statue. It was still alive, and capable of moving, but not much. It struggled to bring its body temperature back up enough to melt back into lava again, but Team Nightshade wasn't planning on giving it the opportunity to do so. "Okay Mary, finish it off!" Gary shouted to the Medicham.

Mary closed her eyes and concentrated, focusing her chi or Aura or whatever you wanted to call her fighting energy into her right hand, which started to glow. Her eyes shot open and she sprang into the air, her legs propelling her high above the Devil Golem. "THIS IS FOR GOOEEEYYYYYYY!" she shouted, bringing her arm down in a Brick Break karate chop, her hand striking the monster in the middle of its head and digging a furrow in its body as the force of her attack carried her down its front, cleaving it in two! She leaped off the Golem's body before she could land in the lava, kicked off one of the pillars supporting the walkway, kicked again off the Golem's side, and landed right back where she had started next to Evan. Maren's jaw dropped. "Holy-"

"Wow, we can be sssurprisingly effective when we ssstop acting like idiotsss and work together asss a team, can't we?" Evan commented.

"What did you do?" Gary asked as he flew down to rejoin the Team.

"I danced!" Evan said indignantly.

"And threw Gooey to his death," Mary pointed out.

"Touche," Evan grumbled.

The water, combined with Mary's Brick Break seemed to have done the trick. Cracks ran throughout the Devil Golem's body from the immense cut the Medicham had chopped through its center, and the evil giant began to crumble, the hardened magma making up its form falling apart and sinking back into the lava from whence it had come. The room shook, and Evan yelped, certain that the volcano was going to erupt at last, only, much to their surprise, for the lava to abruptly harden into solid rock in a matter of seconds. The room immediately became much cooler, and the oppressive heat that had been weighing on all of them (except Gary) faded away.

From the spot where the Devil Golem had vanished, now nothing more than a heap of porous rock, two glittering objects arose and hovered over to the Rescue Team. One of them looked like nothing more than a fragment of broken glass, and the other…

The other was Gooey's badge, the one they had pinned to his forehead, in remarkably good condition despite being swallowed by a monster made of lava. There was still a little dried blood on it. Gary sniffed and Mary wiped away a tear, while Evan looked at the ground in shame. "Gooey…" Gary whispered, grabbing the badge. "We will never forget your sacrifice. You'll always be remembered as a true member of Team Nightshade." He floated off the walkway and placed the badge back where it had risen from, thinking it a good resting place and memorial for their reluctant comrade.

Then he floated back up to the others and took out the Compass base. Both the base and the floating piece of glass gleamed, and the glass shard spun through the air and inserted itself into the base. There was a blinding flash of light, and when it faded the glass had fused with the base, forming one-sixth of a cover over the needle. "So that's the first piece of the Marvelous Compass…" Mary murmured.

"I thought it would be ssshinier," Evan complained.

"And Gooey died for this?" Gary lamented, shaking his head sorrowfully and putting the Compass away. "The completed thing, and whatever reward we're going to get for rescuing Princess Sara, had better be _really_ good to make up for the loss of a teammate."

Mary shook her head sadly. "No amount of treasure can ever make up for losing a friend."

"Why are we acting ssso sssad about thisss?!" the exasperated Evan demanded. "We dragged him along againssst hisss will and frequently abusssed him to refresssh ourssselvesss, sssolve puzzlesss, or jussst for cheap laughsss! Why are you picking _now_ to care about him!?"

"Because, dragalong or not, he was still one of us," Gary said solemnly. "He was a part of the team, no matter how unwilling he was to be on it. And that is why we care." Evan grumbled, still clearly not getting it.

"Come on, Gary," Mary said, putting a hand on the Gengar's shoulder. "Let's go. We have five more pieces and a Princess to find, after all."

Gary nodded sadly. "Yeah, all right. Let's move out. If I remember correctly, the next piece is hidden in…Chicole Village, was it? Should be easier to find than the one here."

"And cooler," Evan hissed.

"Oh yes, that reminds me Evan, when we get back to the boat…you and I are going to have a little talk about a suitable punishment for what you did here today…" Gary said ominously. Evan whimpered.

Maren quickly flew back up the tunnel as they headed for the exit, knowing she needed to beat them back to the boat or else they might discover she had been following them, which would lead to all sorts of awkward questions. She couldn't help but feel somewhat amazed and impressed by Team Nightshade's remorse and guilt over Gooey's death. She had had no idea that they had really cared for him deep down, and this sudden revelation of hidden depths to their character was causing her to completely reevaluate her initial impressions of them. "Maybe," she said out loud. "Maybe they have a chance after all. Maybe they _can_ become the heroes we need to save us…"

…

And that's that. Alas, poor Gooey.

How many of you were shocked by the revelation of Chobin's true nature? Both of them, that is?

And did the funeral scene make any of you sad? If so, good, that was what I was aiming for. A good writer should always be able to evoke great emotion in his readers, don't you think so?


	21. Whatever happened to whatshername? pt 2

And now for another chapter to see what other characters are doing! Yay!

Some mysteries will be solved, while others…well, get even more mysterious. Naturally.

Disclaimer: I don't own any character that doesn't belong to me.

…

Team Aurabolt bid farewell to Michael and the remaining Caretakers the morning after the funeral and set out on the next leg of their journey, certain that someday, some way; their paths would cross again. They were unaware that they were not the only ones about to embark on a new adventure…

…

In Doctor Tarantulas' laboratory…

Chobin awoke to find himself immersed in green, viscous fluid, his view distorted by the preservative nutrient-rich gel around him and an oxygen tube clamped over his mouth. He was floating inside a glowing cylindrical vat, one of several filling a large room, each of which contained a Sunflora identical to himself. However, of the many sunflower Pokemon, only he was awake.

He was not the least bit disconcerted by the fact that he had woken up in this tube surrounded by identical Pokemon, or that the last thing he could remember before his awakening was the Doctor putting the machine he used to scan his brain over his head. This had happened to him thirty-seven—well, thirty-eight now—times before, and he had grown used to it. His only disappointment was that he could never remember what happened in between his memory engrams being encoded into the Doctor's computer and his resurrection from each subsequent death. He would dearly love to know—and remember—what it felt like to die.

A soft siren went off and the liquid began to drain from around him, causing him to sink to the bottom of the vat. When all the fluid was gone, the walls of his container itself retracted into the floor, allowing cold air to rush in from outside and make Chobin shiver and hug himself. He pulled off the oxygen mask and stepped out into the lab, grabbing a towel and a pair of glasses offered him by one of the Doctor's robot spiders and walking over to meet his waiting master. "Vell? How do you feel?" Doctor Tarantulas asked.

"Not bad, Chobin said," Chobin reported as he dried himself off. "Like Chobin just woke up from a nice, long nap. Which Chobin did, in a way…Chobin said."

"Do you remember how you died?" Tarantulas asked. He, too, was interested in knowing what it felt like to die. Not bad enough that he wanted to try it himself, naturally, but he wanted an informed opinion for if and when he inevitably croaked.

Chobin shrugged apologetically. "Sorry, Doctor, Chobin doesn't remember. How did Chobin die this time?...Chobin asked."

"I vasn't zere to see it," Tarantulas admitted. "But I zink ve can safely assume zat you got crushed by rubble vhen ze Tree of Beginning collapsed."

Chobin perked up at this. "Oooh, the Tree collapsed? Then we destroyed it? What fun! Chobin hopes you recorded it, Chobin wants to see it later, Chobin said."

Tarantulas chuckled. "Don't vorry, I got it for you." He frowned. "Now, vhat is ze last zing you remember before I captured your memory?"

Chobin frowned in recollection. "Um…Chobin remembers you were setting a trap to capture that meddling Rescue Team that's been interfering with our business and killing off our XD series. Oh! Did it work?...Chobin asked."

"Eh…yes and no, it's a long story," the Doctor waffled. "Zey managed to escape viz zeir lives…and somehow, ze lives of all ze remaining Caretakers…but I vas able to steal ze Star Badge zey already possessed, as vell as ze one hidden deep vizin ze Tree. I managed to capture Regirock, Regice, and Registeel too! Oh, and I killed zat annoying old hag. Not Bellum, ze ozzer one."

"Oh boy!" Chobin applauded. "Did Chobin kill anyone?...Chobin asked."

"I'm afraid not, zhough you certainly tried," Tarantulas said. He paused for a moment, wondering if he should mention the next part, then finally pushed forward. "It turns out zat Squirtle vas actually your online rival, ze Turtle Titan."

Chobin's eyes bulged out of his sockets. "Wh-what?! He…HE IS THE ONE RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL CHOBIN'S HUMILIATION!? HE IS THE ONE WHO-"

"Yes, yes, beat all your high scores, got all ze treasures, vent on all ze epic raids, etc., etc," the annoyed Tarantulas interjected. "Ve've already been zhrough zis."

"I HAVEN'T!...CHOBIN YELLED!" Chobin yelled.

"Yes you have," Tarantulas pointed out.

"WELL, CHOBIN DOESN'T REMEMBER IT!...CHOBIN SHOUTED!" Chobin shouted. "Did Chobin kill him? Ohhhh, please tell Chobin Chobin killed him!...Chobin begged."

"No, you didn't kill him," Tarantulas said with a frown. "In fact, you just made a fool of yourself! You vent even crazier zan usual, started calling yourself Arackaiser, hijacked ze Robo-Groudon prototype, and vound up blowing it up trying to kill ze turtle! And his sidekick, zat Lucario."

"Oh…whoops," Chobin said sheepishly. "Chobin is sorry. Mainly because Chobin didn't kill him, Chobin said."

"Oh vell, zere's alvays next time," Tarantulas said with a shrug, forgiving his assistant his indulgences. "And at least you managed to discover several flaws in ze Robo-Groudon line zat I vill have to correct in ze next model."

"So Chobin did do good after all!...Chobin exulted," Chobin exulted.

Tarantulas rolled his eye. "Yes, yes, Chobin did good. Now, let's get you somezing to rape, you're probably in a horny mood after being brought back from ze…eh?"

Much to their surprise, Oblivion's Shadow had entered the lab without either of them noticing. They quickly stood to attention. Chobin's towel slipped, so he had to bend over to wrap it back around himself and salute again. "Herr Shadow! I did not know you vere coming today. I zought ve vere already finished viz debriefing. To vhat do I owe ze pleasure of zis visit?" Tarantulas asked.

"Did you come to see Chobin's rebirth, Chobin asked?" Chobin asked.

"Not…exactly," the Shadow said enigmatically, not even sparing the Sunflora a glance as he fixed his mirror on Tarantulas. "Doctor. I believe ve need to talk."

Tarantulas frowned. "Vhat about? I gave you ze Stars, you congratulated me for taking zem and destroying ze Tree, Bellum's face turned an interesting shade of red, yadda yadda yadda…I didn't know ve needed to discuss anyzing else."

"And zat is vere you are wrong," the Shadow said coldly, gliding forward until he loomed over the duo. A chill ran down their spines, even Tarantulas, who didn't have one. "Vhile you vere able to gain two Star Badges, granting us a total of three, you let ze map get avay. A map zat, vizout, ve may never be able to find ze remaining Star Badges. Not vizout great effort, anyvay. And zat…is unforgivable."

"B-but ze ninja! How vas I supposed to know she vas zere?! She vas a ninja! Zey're sneaky like zat!" Tarantulas stammered.

"What ninja?...Chobin asked," Chobin asked. "Oh, wait, was it that Buneary ninja we saw snooping around earlier? Why didn't you kill her?...Chobin asked."

"I-I vas busy!" Tarantulas stammered. "Setting zings up for ze Rescue Team!"

"And because of zat, she vas able to sneak on board your ship and snatch ze map right out from under you," the Shadow said. "If you had not been able to retake ze Stars from her, all our efforts in ze Tree vould have been a complete vaste of time. If you had not simply dealt viz her earlier, ve vould have ze map in our hands and be on our vay to finding ze fourth Star. And for all ve know, she might have been ze one who sabotaged your spider drones and somehow managed to reroute your 'kill' signal to eliminate our guards instead of ze last few Caretakers. If zis is ze case, zen zeir survival as vell as any ozzer failures vhich occurred in ze Tree fall directly on your shoulders. I am most disappointed in you, Herr Doctor. I expected better."

"I…I…" Ashamed, Tarantulas hung his head. "You're right…I should have dealt viz her earlier." He sighed. "I suppose zis is ze part vhere you kill me, isn't it?"

"Ooh! Chobin gets dibs on the lab!...Chobin called dibs!" Chobin said.

"Chobin, you're not helping!" Tarantulas snapped.

"Kill you? No, you are still useful to me," said the Shadow. "If you had lost ze map _and_ ze Stars, I vould kill you. But instead…" Tarantulas screamed in pain as one of his two remaining organic limbs twitched violently, stiffened, and abruptly was ripped off of his abdomen by a powerful psychic force, causing blood and green goo to gush all over the place. Chobin licked some of it off his face. "I vill let you off viz a varning."

"Aaahhh…ahhhh…aaaaahhh…" the Doctor moaned as he twisted his head to examine the stump that had once been his leg, the mechanisms within his body already at work stopping the blood flow, injecting painkillers into his system, and sealing up the wound. "No…at zis rate I'll be nozing left but a machine! Zat vas one of ze few pieces of my original body I had left!"

"I know," the Shadow said, disintegrating the severed leg into nothingness with the sheer power of his mind. "Call it incentive not to fail again."

"Awwww, Chobin wanted to eat that, Chobin complained," Chobin complained.

Tarantulas shot Chobin an annoyed look. "Vhy do I bozer resurrecting you again?" Chobin shrugged. Tarantulas sighed. "Oh vell, I can't say zat zis vas unexpected…" He signaled some of his spiders to get a replacement leg from storage.

"Ve aren't finished," the Shadow said coldly.

Tarantulas groaned. "Vhat?! But you already tore off my leg! Vhat else did I do wrong?!"

"Misty."

Tarantulas blinked. "Eh?"

"Misty. The Vaporeon I allowed you to experiment on. Ze one whom I explicitly told you to capture ze soul of and give to me vhen you vere finished," the Shadow said.

Tarantulas' blood and mech fluid froze. "I-I don't know vhat you-" He cried out as the Shadow's psychic power slammed down on him, crushing him to the ground and nearly pressing him flat. His legs splayed out and twitched spastically, and alarms blared loudly inside his head as the pressure increased to the point where several veins, tubes, and delicate pieces of machinery inside of him burst. "Aaaaahhhh!"

"Doctor!...Chobin cried in alarm!" Chobin cried in alarm, rushing towards his master only to be repelled by Oblivion's Shadow's mental force.

"I told you to capture her soul," the Shadow said harshly. "Instead, you gave me ze soul of zat ozzer Vaporeon, Jovi Treeguarden, after you ran her through ze Omniversal Projector and transformed her into a grotesque monster. Did you _really_ zink I vouldn't be able to tell ze difference?! How disappointing."

"I-it vasn't my fault!" Tarantulas protested desperately as the Shadow continued pressing down on him, feeling his head starting to cave in. "Ve had ze soul catcher up and running full blast, but her soul, it…I don't know, it somehow slipped out of my vebbing! Zere vas nozing I could do!"

"Is zat so?" The Shadow stopped crushing Tarantulas, and the Ariados sighed in relief. He mentally told all the blinking alarms inside his head to shut up, they were making his already sore cranium hurt even more. "Hmm. I believe you, Doctor. However…zat doesn't change ze fact zat, razzer zan simply _tell_ me zat outright, you gave me someone else's soul and _lied_ about it. And you know how much I _hate_ to be lied to, Herr Doctor."

Tarantulas swallowed nervously, even though his windpipe was partially broken. "I suppose zis means you're going to rip off my ozzer leg now."

"No," said the Shadow, turning to Chobin. "I'm going to remove somezing even more precious to you."

"V-vait, vhat are you-" Tarantulas started as Chobin screamed in agony and clutched his head, blood, spilling from his mouth, eyes, and nonexistent nose and earholes. Tarantulas gasped. "NO! VHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

"Doing ze vorst zing I possibly could to him," the Shadow said calmly as Chobin's screams intensified and he started shaking violently.

"…And zat vould be? He's gone zrough a _lot_ of really bad zings," said the puzzled Tarantulas.

"See for yourself," the Shadow said as Chobin stopped screaming and shook his head in pain.

"Ohhh…Chobin's head…no…no, _my_ head feels…strange…" the Sunflora groaned. "What…what has happened to Cho…to me? I feel…I feel…" He stiffened. His eyes widened in horror. "No. NO! Sweet Arceus, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Vh-vhat did you do?!" cried the alarmed Tarantulas, dragging himself over to his assistant with the legs that still worked, ignoring the pain that ran through his damaged body. "Chobin, are you all right?"

Chobin shouted and stumbled backwards in fright, nearly tripping over his towel. "NO! STAY AWAY! STAY AWAY FROM ME, YOU MONSTER!"

Tarantulas' artificial heart skipped a beat. "Ch-Chobin?"

"DON'T CALL ME THAT! YOU DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO USE MY NAME!" Chobin trembled. "And…and for that matter…neither do I! Oh Mew…what…what have I done? What sort of horrible monster am I? All those helpless children…all those innocent people…all those _rotting_ corpses…WHAT HAVE I BECOME?!"

"Chobin? I…I don't understand," stammered the very worried Tarantulas. Chobin had never behaved like this before. What had Oblivion's Shadow done to him?

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" Chobin shouted. "The things I've done…I would never have done them if I hadn't stayed with Doctor Kaminko and kept taking my pills like I was supposed to. He _warned_ me this would happen, he _told_ me not to associate with you, and he was right! Oh, Uncle Kammy…I'm so sorry…"

Tarantulas' confusion ignited into rage. "Kaminko? KAMINKO?! VE AGREED NEVER TO SPEAK ZAT NAME IN ZIS LABORATORY AGAIN!" He lashed out, slicing Chobin across the cheek. The Sunflora cried in pain and cringed away, whimpering in fear. This completely un-Chobinish reaction completely floored Tarantulas, his minion had always bounced back from suffering and torture as if it had never happened. This cowardly, almost…_normal_ behavior was something he had never seen from Chobin before, and it terrified him. "H-Herr Shadow…vhat did you do to him?!" Tarantulas whispered, not taking his gaze off his pathetic, _weeping_ assistant.

"Ze vorst zing zat can be done to any madman," the Shadow said smoothly as he glided to the Doctor's side. "I turned his madness into clarity…and gave him a conscience, so zat he is completely avare of every horrible zing he has ever done in his life and is now feeling regret for it."

Tarantulas gasped in horror. "A conscience?! NO! NOT ZAT!"

"What have I done…what have I done…" Chobin sobbed. "I'm so sorry…"

"D-don't vorry, Chobin," Tarantulas said frantically, his mind racing as he tried to think of a solution to this untenable dilemma. He flinched when Chobin wailed and recoiled away from him; he was used to people fearing him, yes but not _Chobin_ of all Pokemon, the closest thing he still had to a friend! "Ve'll fix you up in no time."

"NO! I DON'T WANT TO BE FIXED! I'M FIXED ALREADY!" Chobin shouted, backing away until he bumped into one of the vats containing his clone brothers. "I'm really…_me_ for the first time in years! I don't want to go back to being a monster!"

"You're yourself?! Vhat you are now is nozing but an abomination! Ze real Chobin is a free spirit who holds no regrets, and always does vhatever he feels like, even if it brings suffering to ozzers or himself! It is zat free spirit zat I have always admired in you, and zat is vhy I took you off zose stupid drugs your Uncle had you on, so you could be your true self for ze first time in your life! I earned your undying loyalty for zat…don't you remember, Chobin?" He said the last part a little more desperately and pleadingly than he had intended.

"I remember, all right," Chobin said angrily. "I remember EVERYTHING! Everything I've done, every person I've killed or raped or tortured…it's too much! I'm a monster! Something as awful as me should not exist in this world! I'd rather DIE than become like I was again!"

"…Zat's actually not a bad idea," said the intrigued Tarantulas. "Yes…I'll just kill you, transplant your soul into one of your spare bodies, and upload ze backup memory data from before you became…ugh, _sane_. Zen it'll be as if none of zis ever happened!"

"Actually, Doctor…" Oblivion's Shadow said, reminding the mad scientist he was still there. "I don't think he will be."

And with that, every cloning vat in the lab shattered. Alarms blared and lights flashed as green liquid came gushing out, along with the preserved clone bodies that had been kept inside. They started twitching and writhing violently in reaction to the outside air, especially as the Shadow telekinetically tore off their oxygen masks. Tarantulas gasped. "NO! Zey can't survive outside ze tanks vizout Chobin's soul or memory!"

"I know," said the Shadow.

The displays connected to the tanks started flashing louder and louder, their monitors showing the wildly thrashing clones' heartbeats becoming more and more erratic. Desperately, Tarantulas summoned his spiders to do something for the clones, but the Shadow destroyed all of them with his mind the instant they entered the room and psychically held the Doctor back so he couldn't help his creations. Eventually, the clones stilled and stopped struggling for life, and their heart monitors flatlined with a long, high-pitched whine. "No…" Tarantulas whispered, his many limbs sagging. Chobin threw up, clearly more averse to seeing dead bodies (especially his own) now that he was sane.

"One more zhing," said the Shadow.

The lab shook as the various mainframes Doctor Tarantulas used to store Chobin's memory engrams on exploded. Every data dump, failsafe, and backup that contained a trace of Chobin's memories in them was completely destroyed within seconds, years of work obliterated with a single thought. "Zhere," the Shadow said. "Now we're done. Only one Chobin is left, and he isn't anywhere near being ze Chobin you remember. Cloning equipment and memory scanners can be rebuilt, but all ze records of Chobin's insanity are gone, so you have no way of making him ze vay he used to be. Your dear assistant, ze zhing most precious to you…no longer exists." He leveled his mirror gaze at the cyborg spider. "Now you know vhat it is like to lose all zat you care for in zis vorld."

Doctor Tarantulas was too distraught to wonder what the Shadow meant. "Vhy?" he whispered. "I don't understand…vhy punish Chobin instead of me?! And vhy to such an extent?! IT VAS JUST ONE SOUL! Yes, I lied, okay, but isn't zis overreacting a little?! Just because I lost one soul you vere interested in and tried to cover it up, you DESTROY Chobin and make it impossible for me to make him ze vay he is supposed to be again?! VHY?! VHAT VAS SO IMPORTANT ABOUT ZAT BITCH'S SOUL!?"

"More zan you can imagine," the Shadow said. "Goodbye, Tarantulas. If you betray me like zis again, I'll make sure zat Chobin dies for real....and I'll sever your bond to him too, so even if you bring him back again, he'll never be ze Chobin you cherish."

With a swish of his cape, the Shadow turned and left the lab. Tarantulas stared after him a moment, dumbfounded and in shock. It was a long while before he realized that Chobin had stopped his crying and whimpering, and he turned around just in time to see the Sunflora about to stab one of the jagged pieces of the broken cloning tanks right through his chest.

An icy spike of fear (not unlike the one Bellum had thrown at him when he taunted her failure to defeat Team Aurabolt or acquire any Star Badges) ran through Tarantulas' artificial heart, and something inside of him snapped. "NO!" the Doctor shouted, firing his laser at his assistant's leaf and blasting the shard right out of his grip. Chobin yelped in pain and grabbed his injured leaf, blowing at it quickly to keep it from catching on fire.

Tarantulas rapidly advanced forward, spitting gobs of webbing that struck Chobin in the chest and sent him flying back against the nearby wall, where the Doctor quickly spat a few more globs of adhesive at Chobin's arms to stick him there. Chobin desperately struggled to break free, but it was no use. As always, the special blend Tarantulas used to weave his webs was too strong for a mere Grass Pokemon to escape. "N-no! Let me go! Let me DIE!" Chobin cried despondently as the Doctor reached him.

"Die? As you are now? Do not be preposterous," Tarantulas said in a tone so eerily calm that it gave himself shivers. "Zen I vould lose you forever."

"You _already_ have!" Chobin wailed.

"Have I? No, I refuse to believe zat," Tarantulas scoffed. "I am Doctor Tarantulas! Zere is nozing my science cannot solve! I vill have you back to your old self soon, Chobin, just you vait and see."

"But I don't want to be my old self again!" Chobin protested.

Tarantulas shook his head pityingly. Oh, silly Chobin, always saying ridiculous things even when entirely sane! And silly Oblivion's Shadow for that matter. Had he really thought that something like this would remove the Chobin he cherished from Tarantulas' grasp? The very idea made him want to laugh and laugh and laugh. "You aren't in your right head, my darling, you don't know vhat you are talking about," Tarantulas crooned soothingly.

"Yes I am! I'm in my right head for the first time possibly ever! And I know that, without a doubt-" Chobin was cut off when Tarantulas spat some webbing over his mouth, silencing him.

The Doctor could not help but smile. He couldn't believe that he had, just a few moments ago, actually thought that he might have lost Chobin forever. They were an inseparable team, after all. Yin and Yang. You couldn't have one without the other. Nothing in this world could keep them apart, and he was about to prove that once and for all. "Shh," he whispered into Chobin's earholes, surprised by how much he enjoyed the look of sheer terror in the Sunflora's eyes and the fear-sweat running down his face. "Shh, shh, shh. Don't talk, little one, or try to break free, you'll only hurt yourself, and since ve're temporarily out of clones, ve von't be able to harvest any new body parts for you and it'll need to get healed ze old-fashioned way. And vouldn't zat be an inconvenience? How vill you be able to help me viz a broken limb or two?" He smiled and lovingly stroked Chobin's chin with one of his legs. "Now, just relax, Chobin. You aren't vell at ze moment, but I'm going to fix you. I'm going to make everyzing right."

He raised the leg from Chobin's chin and held the tip to the Sunflora's forehead. With a whir and several clicks, the tip transformed into a buzzsaw, and Chobin's eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets. Tarantulas smiled peacefully. "Ze Doctor," he said serenely. "Vill make _everyzing _better."

And then the buzzsaw spun to life, and Tarantulas drew it across his assistant's forehead as Chobin shook and screamed in unbearable agony underneath his gag of webbing. Tarantulas' spiders loyally marched in carrying trays of equipment and towels to help their master in his work. Lobotomies were always such messy business…

…

Deep within the bowels of Nihilator HQ…

Gardevoir did not enjoy being a damsel in distress. She had spent the last thousand years (or the approximate thereof) as one trapped as a bodiless spirit, and she didn't like her current situation much better, even if she had a physical form now and a rather palatial cell. After all, a cage was still a cage, no matter how pretty it looked or how gilded its bars were.

Nevertheless, she had to admit she was rather impressed by the collection of cultural material that had been provided for her amusement. She had missed out on a lot of the artistic movements and cultural revolutions of the last thousand years, and could only remember bits and pieces of her time as a spirit and her life before that, so she was delighted to find an extensive music collection from several of the most celebrated composers both before and after the great cataclysm, and numerous rare editions of books that she had heard about in Pokemon Square but never been able to find. She had always loved reading and music, and once or twice had dreamed of living in a cleft at the base of an extinct volcano out in the desert, a little oasis with rooms just full of books and songs that she could enjoy to her heart's content. In those dreams, there had sometimes been someone with her, but…she didn't remember who it had been. Dreams were funny like that sometimes.

And so she had almost started to enjoy herself as she read these rare books and listened to the exquisite music…until she remembered that just outside her cell were dozens of children being tortured constantly, who most certainly were not getting to listen to the same songs she was. That had put quite a damper on her mood, and turned her thoughts once more to escape. She had so far not been able to figure out anyway she could leave her cell or remove the psychic inhibitor they had placed on her head without killing the children in the hallway outside. She had attempted to short the thing out in the shower, but naturally it was waterproof. They had thought of everything, or so it seemed.

That didn't mean she had given up hope yet, of course. She knew that eventually Ash and Pikachu would rescue her, but she wanted to at least try and find a way out on her own or at least find some way to hinder her captors so that her friends would have an easier time saving her and Misty…assuming she was still alive, that was. Gardevoir dearly hoped the Vaporeon had survived whatever that horrible Doctor Tarantulas had done to her, Misty was one of her best friends and she didn't know what poor Ash would do if she were truly…dead…

That wasn't something she cared to contemplate at the moment, however, so she put it out of her head and spent whatever waking moments were not spent listening to music or devouring the small library she had been provided with trying to figure out a way to defeat the Nihilators and their enigmatic leader. She was so deep in this reverie that she didn't notice that someone had entered her room until they cleared their throat loudly to get her attention.

"Oh!" Gardevoir startled, dropping the book she had been reading and nearly falling off her bed. She couldn't believe she had been so caught off-guard, usually she knew at once if there was somebody in near proximity to her. Then again, she also usually had psychic and empathic powers, she was still getting used to not being able to sense the thoughts and feelings of everyone around her. Was this what regular Pokemon felt like all the time? How sad and limited an experience that must be…

She found she was being stared at by a Skitty with several ear, nose, lip, and tail piercings, and several rather skimpy and tight black leather straps wrapped around her body. A tattoo of the Nihilators' symbol was burned onto her back-right thigh. The feline wolf-whistled (or would cat-whistle be more appropriate?) as Gardevoir tried to regain her composure. "Wow, they said you were the cat's Meowth, but I didn't know you were _this_ fine. I'm jealous, I thought I was pretty, but you? Mrrow!"

Gardevoir turned red, less with flattery (she got complimented on her looks a lot, something she never really gave much thought to) and more with anger. "Is there something you wanted to tell me, or did you just come here to ogle at or torment me like the rest of your foul kind?"

The Skitty hissed angrily. "Hey, watch it! You some kind of ailurophobe or something?!"

"No, I'm fine with cats, I was referring to the Nihilators when I said 'your kind'," Gardevoir clarified.

"Oh. Okay then," the Skitty said. The cat smiled brightly. "Hi, I'm Lovrina! What's your name?"

"Uh, Gardevoir," said the confused Gardevoir.

Lovrina blinked. "But that's the name of your species."

"I know. It's a long story," said Gardevoir.

"Oh," said Lovrina. "Okay! Well, anyway, I came down here to see you because I wanted to be BFF! You know, best friends forever!"

Gardevoir stared at her incredulously. "….Your organization is holding me captive, intends to destroy the world, and is hurting countless innocent Pokemon at this very moment, and…you want to be _friends?!_"

"Hmm…when you put it like that, it does sound kind of odd, doesn't it?" the Skitty admitted. "But…" She smiled slyly, something that looked very odd on her formerly vapid face. "You see, the Nihilators aren't the _only_ organization that I'm a part of."

Gardevoir frowned. She lacked her psychic abilities, but she was still astute enough to notice something…_different_ about her visitor. Her posture had changed slightly, and there was something subtly different in her tone of voice that made her seem like another Pokemon entirely. "…Who are you, really? What is this about?"

"Like I said, the Nihilators are not the only organization I'm a part of," Lovrina said, now sounding completely serious. "I happen to represent a group of individuals who are trying to bring down the Nihilators from within. All of us were at one point or another either completely sold on the ideology of world-destruction or willing to go along with it for the sake of money or power, but in recent months we have become disillusioned with it and seek…well, greater things."

"Really," Gardevoir said, not believing her for a second. "What prompted this abrupt change in motivation?"

"Would you believe another prisoner like yourself?" Lovrina said. "You aren't the only high-priority Pokemon of great power locked up here. Our little rebellion's leader is one of them…it's questionable if he's even a Pokemon at all, or a being from somewhere else entirely. Desperate for aid, he reached out for any heart that might be willing to help him…and that heart brought him in contact with another, and another, and another, until we formed a little band of our own working right underneath the noses of our Nihilator 'masters.'"

Gardevoir raised a skeptical eyebrow. "And how exactly was he able to 'reach out' to you, considering that such an ability implies that he'd be wearing a psychic inhibitor just like my own?"

Lovrina smirked. "Did you think telepathy was the only non-technological method to communicate with someone long distance? Our leader has quite a few talents and secrets that Oblivion's Shadow is obsessed with gaining for himself…and the ability to communicate to others not through the mind, but through the _soul_, is one of them."

Gardevoir was intrigued despite herself. "Direct soul-to-soul communication? I thought that had been discredited ages ago, or at least believed to be impossible for any Pokemon whose spirit was trapped in a material shell to perform. I don't think even Ghost-types know how to do something like that!"

"Like I said, our leader's not any other Pokemon," Lovrina pointed out. "He used this technique to contact the first members of our group, and they contacted others and taught it to them, and they taught it to others, and so on. The only downside is that you can't communicate in this manner to someone whose heart is closed, which is why there are no Shadow Pokemon in our group. Probably for the best, anyway, because they'd turn on us in a heartbeat…while we've given up ending the world, they're looking forward to it."

"You mean that not all of you Nihilators are Shadow Pokemon?" asked the surprised Gardevoir, her doubts beginning to fade away.

Lovrina shook her head. "Only the soldiers and combat-types. The Shadow process gives Pokemon a great deal of power and increased aggression, but also cuts down significantly on intelligence and lifespan. As such, it's only used on Nihilators who are expected to go out in the field and kill someone. If those who had more mundane jobs, like technical work, maintenance, data processing, cleaning, food preparation, etc., underwent the process it would only interfere with their work. That means there's plenty of Pokemon to recruit for our little revolution from the Nihilators' menial and labor force…but unfortunately, it also means they're all the lowest Nihilators on the totem pole, since the highest-ranking administrators and commanders naturally undergo the process or are under the most scrutiny, therefore cannot be effective members of our group. As a result, the level of sabotage we're actually capable of committing against our bosses is minimal, since there are so few of us—and we're so weak in physical power and ranking—that if they had the slightest idea what we were doing, we'd be crushed just like that and our leader would be put under even stricter guard than ever."

Gardevoir frowned. "I see…then exactly to what extent _are_ you capable of sabotaging the Nihilators' efforts?"

Lovrina shrugged. "By mainly doing things that could easily be blamed on clerical error or technical difficulties that hinder operations in the short or long term. You know, things like switching packages of explosives so that duds would be attached to hostages and the real thing would be given to soldiers having a training session, reprogramming some of Doctor Tarantulas' spider robots so they dumped his equipment in the wrong place and delayed his departure, causing a glitch in a communication satellite that redirected a signal intended to auto-detonate the control chips in the heads of several prisoners so that it killed the Nihilators guarding them instead, editing the security computers so they won't catch sight or sound of me on camera and the elevator and door logs won't record my ever being here…you know, stuff like that."

"Wow," said the impressed Gardevoir. "It sounds like you're doing pretty well if you can do things like that without getting caught."

"It's not enough, though," Lovrina lamented. "At this rate, we're little more than fleas on the back of an enormous Mamoswine…the most we can do is scratch and bite and suck blood from the great beast, but if we do too little, it won't mean anything, but too much, and it'll notice we're there and squash us flat. We walk such a fine line every single day we go on the job, harboring traitorous thoughts to the Nihilator organization and Lord Shadow…would you believe that they've got chips in all our heads, too? That monitor our thoughts and alert the higher-ups if anyone has any sympathy for our victims or doubts about our cause?"

"That's horrible," said the astonished Gardevoir.

"Tell me about it! The only way we can circumvent those things to plot rebellion is by basically splitting our consciousnesses," Lovrina explained. "We wrap our enlightened 'core' self in a shell made up of the thoughts and feelings and personality traits we possessed before encountering our leader. The chip only records the surface-level thoughts in this shell, allowing our deeper 'self' to plot in secret. The problem is that sometimes those 'shell' selves become a little too real and start taking on lives of their own…dissociative identity disorder is something all of us risk just by being who we are." Surprisingly, she smiled. "But considering it's that or being the mindless slaves of pure evil…well, I think a little madness is worth freedom, don't you?"

Gardevoir nodded in agreement. "Most certainly. But how could all of you cultivate these separate selves? Even trained Psychics and mentalists would have trouble doing something like that."

"It's another thing our esteemed leader taught us how to do," Lovrina explained. "In a way, he's made all of us…not psychic, exactly, but he's linked our minds and hearts in a way that the Shadow's sensors, designed to pick up any hint of psychic activity not under his control, can't detect. This allows us to communicate with each other without having to meet in person, which would make us look suspicious and possibly blow our cover We've formed a big invisible social network, or rather, a web, with our leader at the center…sort of like the webs Doctor Tarantulas spins, but for good rather than evil."

"Your leader sounds like quite the remarkable individual…I think I wouldn't mind meeting him. It sounds as if there is much he could teach me," Gardevoir said, always willing to learn something new.

"Then it's your lucky day, because that just happens to be why I'm here," Lovrina said triumphantly. "As I said before, all of us in the rebellion are lower-level grunts so don't really know much of what the higher-ups are planning. Classified information and all. However, the fact that they kidnapped you and are pushing up their efforts to obtain the seven Star Badges and the map that leads to them indicates they're going to unleash their master plan on the world in the very near future. That means we're going to need to push up our own efforts to stop them, and we'll need all the help we can get. I've been sent here to ask you to join our network and help us put a stop to the Nihilators' plans. With your formidable psychic powers backing us, we just might have a chance at stopping them, or at least slowing them down enough for someone else—your heroic friends, perhaps?—to finish the job!"

Gardevoir frowned. "Well, I'd love to help, but…there are a couple of problems. First off, I'm kind of stuck in here. Second, my 'formidable psychic powers' have also been nullified. I can't see what kind of help I'd be, trapped in this room. Unless…" She gave the Skitty a hopeful look. "I don't suppose you could disable the inhibitor? Or deactivate the mechanism that'll kill those poor children if I were to remove it or leave this prison?"

Lovrina grimaced. "Something like that is currently beyond our abilities. Like I said, we do too much dicking around…"

Gardevoir sighed in disappointment. "And they'll realize what you're up to. Of course. But then, how can I be of any help to you?"

Lovrina smirked. "There are certain…ways we could channel your abilities in spite of that thing on your head."

Gardevoir raised an eyebrow in interest. "Is that so?"

Lovrina nodded. "But first, you'd have to be connected to our network. So I ask you: will you join us and help us to overthrow the Nihilators?"

Gardevoir considered a moment. "I don't suppose there is any way I could…talk to your leader, experience this network of yours without being fully connected to it? You know, so I can get a taste of it before making an informed decision."

Lovrina shrugged. "Sure, I'll just set up a temporary link for you through my own connection. It won't be as strong as a full connection, so you'll be experiencing a watered-down version of the network, but it should still give you a good idea of what it's like to be one of us. Just a sec." She closed her eyes and started humming. To Gardevoir's surprise, what looked very much like a _third eye_ opened on the feline's forehead! The psychic stared at it, transfixed. The Skitty's chest began to glow, and suddenly a beam of light shot from it and struck Gardevoir just below the horn protruding from her own chest. She gasped, her eyes rolling back in her head as something deep within her…opened wider.

She could suddenly feel a flurry of foreign emotions and thoughts and sensations pouring into her. Joy, sorrow, uncertainty, worry, hope, determination, resilience, courage, fear, righteous fury…pretty much every feeling on the emotional spectrum save for loneliness. All of the thoughts and feelings, while each possessing an individual 'flavor,' were all…_connected_ somehow, each arranged in clusters that probably represented distinct individuals that were constantly chatting and thinking and exchanging thoughts and feelings with each other. Gardevoir was overwhelmed. She had never felt anything like this before. Sensing the thoughts and emotions of others was nothing new, yes, but this felt…_stronger_ somehow. _Purer._ More intense. It was incredible. And this was a watered-down version of the real thing?!

_Hello?_ She thought timidly, trying to make herself heard.

All at once, the many voices stopped talking to each other or muttering to themselves and turned all their attention to her. _HELLO! _They all shouted in unison. (Note that they did not actually 'say' anything. Unlike telepathy, where a skilled enough Psychic can transmit simulated words and sounds as well as images to make it seem as if they were physically 'talking' to you, the way this unique social network communicated to Gardevoir was more of an intense sequence of patterns, emotions, images, and concepts that are not so easily translated into English. However, for the sake of convenience, we will render all speech in this 'heart-to-heart' language as something intelligible to the reader.) The voices were friendly and encouraging, and Gardevoir found herself feeling a sense of welcome and belonging that had been heretofore absent in this horrible place.

_This is the Gardevoir our leader is interested in,_ Lovrina's voice (or equivalent) spoke up. _He thinks that she might be able to help us defeat the Nihilators once and for all._

_Can she really?_ Asked one voice.

_That would be great!_ Said another.

_I mean, if she can do it. It's going to be really dangerous…_ another said cautiously.

_I will certainly try my hardest,_ Gardevoir said, not wanting to let down her new acquaintances. _I do not know as much about this place or its inner workings as I am sure you all do, but I will do my best to help you tear the Nihilators down. They must be stopped, at all costs!_

_Here, here!_ The others chorused.

_I am glad you feel that way, my friend, for we certainly can use all the help we can get,_ an unfamiliar—both in the sense that she had never 'heard' it before and because something about it seemed…_different_ somehow--voice said, causing all the others to abruptly go silent in awe and reverence.

_Am I to assume that you are the mysterious 'leader' I keep hearing about?_ Gardevoir questioned, marveling at the sensations she was picking up from the mind…no, the _heart_, she wasn't using telepathy right now…of this strange being. It was like nothing she had ever felt before from any Pokemon. It seemed to be at once both very young and unspeakably ancient, filled with knowledge and experience beyond imagination. She instinctively realized that she was dealing with an entity unlike any in her world, perhaps from somewhere else entirely, and felt that she could probably learn a great deal from it if it would only share some of its boundless wisdom with her. _May I have a name and a face to match to your reputation?_

_I am afraid not,_ the wise one said. _My kind do not have names, at least not as you know them. My co-conspirators in this place, on the other hand, have taken to calling me 'Teacher' or 'Master.' As for my face…_ Gardevoir gasped as she received an image that…was rather hard for her mind to wrap around. Her every attempt to scrutinize and clarify it only made it harder to make out, for some reason, as if it were beyond her ability to comprehend, and she could comprehend a lot. _It is not something your kind is accustomed to seeing, I would wager._

_No…it certainly isn't,_ said the shaken Gardevoir. _What…what _are_ you?_

_I am an emissary from a distant place, dispatched by a power far greater to observe the progress of life across the Omniverse and to aid in its growth whenever necessary,_ the being told her, showing her images of its home, its creator, and some of the places it had been that frankly boggled Gardevoir's mind. _While surveying your solar system, the being you call 'Oblivion's Shadow' captured and imprisoned me. He seeks to use my vast storehouse of knowledge on other worlds and timelines to aid him in his quest to obliterate all that exists._ He chuckled. _So far, however, his efforts have been in vain._

_Teacher is the best! _One of the other Pokemon in the network spoke up.

_Yeah, he was able to reach out with his heart even when every other part of him was imprisoned by the Shadow to make contact with us! _Said another.

_He made us realize the evil of what we were doing and helped us band together into a group that opposes the Nihilators from within,_ said Lovrina. _But so far, we're not doing a very good job of it…_

_And that is where you come in,_ the Teacher told Gardevoir. _With your power added to our own, we may just be able to effect some significant change and derail the plans of Oblivion's Shadow._

_But how am I to do that?_ Asked the perplexed Gardevoir. _Even if I were to join your network, I'm still locked up here. The rest of you can still move about and sabotage the efforts of the Nihilators in the course of doing your regular jobs. What good am I, seeing as how I am a prisoner?_

_As Doctor Tarantulas would say, a web is only as strong as its strongest strand,_ the Teacher said patiently. _Each soul that becomes linked to our web of hearts causes the entirety to grow stronger, and the greatest power comes from the strongest of hearts. Unfortunately, all the strongest have shut their hearts in the name of power and become Shadow Pokemon. As a result, we are left only with hearts that, while willing, are unable to generate enough power to do what we need it to do. You, on the other hand…_

_My heart is pure!_ Gardevoir realized. _And I've gained a great deal of power due to being a spirit for almost a thousand years! I see what you're saying…with a strong soul like myself on your side, I could make this network of yours powerful enough to really do some damage to the Nihilators?_

_That is my intention, yes,_ the Teacher said.

Gardevoir bit your lip. _Could…could we extend this network to my friend Misty? Do you know if she is still alive?_

There was a long pause. _I do not know,_ the Teacher admitted. _I only know what those who are connected to me do. Like yourself, I am physically bound, and cannot explore this fortress like they can. Since you asked, however, I will inquire. My companions, are any of you aware of the condition of Gardevoir's friend? _The voices of the other Pokemon queried each other for several seconds, but in the end none of them were able to come up with a conclusive answer.

_None of us have high enough clearance to know classified information like that,_ one voice said apologetically. _All we know is that she was last seen being dragged to Doctor Tarantulas' lab. And…I'm sorry, but most Pokemon that go in there never come out…and those that do are often better off dead._

_No…_Gardevoir moaned, clenching her fists and squeezing her eyes shut to repress her tears. _Misty…_ She shook her head sorrowfully. _What is Ash going to think?_

She had not intended to broadcast that thought, but everyone in the network heard it, and sensed the emotions attached to it, all the same. _Ash?_ Someone asked.

_Who's Ash?_ Asked another.

_Isn't he the Lucario in that Rescue Team who Oblivion's Shadow is interested in?_ one of them recalled.

_Yes, and a good friend of mine,_ Gardevoir said sadly. _He and his friends are going to come here—I don't know how, but I'm sure they'll find a way—to put a stop to this. And…Ash and Misty were in love, though neither of them ever admitted it. And if she truly is dead, then…_

_Then he'll never be able to tell her,_ Lovrina said unhappily. _That sucks…_ Everyone else clearly agreed, for the entire network took on a very sorrowful vibe. It was all Gardevoir could do not to start crying from the combined sadness she could sense from the others.

_Another reason for us to defeat the Nihilators,_ the Teacher said remorsefully. _For they seek to destroy all love, and is love not one of the most precious things to possess?_

_It certainly is,_ Gardevoir agreed, her sadness turning to anger. _I've made up my mind. I will join you. I will do whatever it takes to stop these horrible Pokemon. Just tell me what I need to do!_

_Very well,_ said the Teacher.

And that's exactly what he did.

…

In the lair of the sorceress spirits …

"This is all _your_ fault, you little failure!" Bellum snarled, hurling a Shadow Ball at Lily. The Misdreavus did not bother to dodge the attack, since that would only make things worse, so just gritted her teeth and took the attack head-on. It blasted her hat off, but she made no move to pick it up, knowing that would probably make her mother even angrier, especially since the last time she had gotten distracted by her hat it had caused their defeat.

Continuing to rant, Bellum conjured up another, larger Shadow Ball. "If you had just done your job properly and been an obedient daughter, we would have defeated that Rescue Team, captured that Lucario and his map and Star Badge, and kept me from being humiliated in front of Lord Shadow by that wretched insect Tarantulas! Now I'll have to work even _harder_ to put myself back in the Shadow's good graces and show up that eight-legged freak, and it's all because of YOU!" She hurled the now-enormous Shadow Ball at her daughter. The dark orb, even bigger than Lily herself, struck the Misdreavus and smashed her into the wall of her rather sparse room. Her ectoplasmic body aching all over, she meekly hovered back up for her next round of punishment, knowing that she deserved all of it and more.

The ice sorceress started charging another attack, but abruptly seemed to change her mind, and turned away from her daughter with a disinterested huff. "As much as I'd love to continue giving you the punishment you deserve, I really don't have time to waste on petty torture. If I want to find that Rescue Team, I'm going to need to use all the magic I've got to try and break through that anti-detection spell the map they're carrying affords them. I was barely able to do it the first time, so if I'm going to have any chance of doing it again, I can't bother expending my power on torturing a useless shade like yourself. It's not as if you can help constantly disappointing me…you've been nothing but a failure since the day you died. I can't imagine why I keep expecting more from you."

"I'm sorry, Mother," Lily said quietly.

"You should be," Bellum said coldly. "Come, Marianne. We have work to do. Lily, you are not to leave this room until I get back. I'll deal with you later." She floated out of the room. Marianne took a moment to stick her tongue out at her sister, gave a buzzing laugh, and left as well. The entrance was covered a minute later by a seal of dark magic to keep Lily from leaving. It was unnecessary, since the Misdreavus knew better than to dare disobey her mother's orders, but Bellum didn't trust her enough to stay put. She didn't trust her at all, actually. At one point that might have made Lily sad, but she wasn't sure when exactly she'd stopped caring about making her mother happy, since it was plainly obvious that was impossible, and just focused on trying to survive. Though _why_ she was trying to survive just so she could continue enduring her wretched existence was something she really didn't understand, no matter what B told her.

Lily picked her hat--one of her few real possessions--off the floor and replaced it on her head, then drifted over to sit on the slab of rock that constituted her 'bed' (not that Ghosts actually needed beds, being perfectly able to sleep while floating through the air) and waited for her body to stop hurting. As always, B's voice pestered her, as it usually did whenever Lily didn't want it to. Lily listened to her imaginary friend, disregarding most of her advice and insistences as usual…until she said something that made the ghost frown and actually mull it over for a bit. "Hmm…"

A small Will-O-Whisp burst into life before her. She concentrated on it, and the tiny blue flame flickered and reshaped itself into a burning effigy of Ash. Then it changed into Pikachu, followed by Michael, and ended on Leo. She stared at the flaming Squirtle for a moment, B whispering in her ear. After a moment, she frowned, sighed, shook her head, and extinguished the fire without a second thought.

…

Beneath Giovanni's bank…

"All Team Rocket elite, report," Giovanni said to the holo-screens hovering before him at the conference table, he and Domino the only two Pokemon physically in the room. "What is the status of your current assignments? Vicious, let's start with you."

"I still haven't been able to earn the Monkey King's full trust or find out exactly what his plans are, though I'm working on it as hard as I can," Vicious said. He hesitated for a moment. "Sir…I'm not sure how much longer I can keep doing this. I'm starting to lose myself. Beginning to forget where I end and the Pokemon I'm pretending to be begins. And…the nightmares…I've had to do a lot of really bad things sir, it's beginning to get to me."

Giovanni sighed. "Vicious, I am aware that this assignment is putting a lot of stress on you, and I know you have had to make several…uncomfortable choices in the line of duty…but it is of the utmost importance that you use your current position to learn as much as you can. The safety of Pokemon Square depends on it."

"I know, sir. I just…" Vicious bit his lip. "I don't know if I'll ever be able to live with myself after this is over."

"We all find our own ways to deal with our sins, Vicious," Giovanni said, but not unkindly. "Keep trying, you know how important this is. Tyson?"

"Redwing also still doesn't trust me," the Fearow reported. "But I've managed to make a number of friends among his flock. I've started sowing the seeds of dissent in his ranks. Many of the birds and other flyers are starting to question whether this big campaign that's coming up is really the right thing for them to do. I don't know if it'll convince them to defect, but it's worth a try."

"Good job," said the Persian. "Keep at it, even if only one less Flying Pokemon joins Redwing when the siege comes, it'll still make things easier for us. Annie and Oakley?"

Annie pouted. "Lawrence III still doesn't seem particularly receptive to our efforts at seduction, sir."

"He has expressed a faint interest in the new world order we're working towards, though, and is curious about what role he might play in that future," Oakley said. "But he doesn't really seem…_committed_, if you know what I mean."

"Let him know that anyone who helps us to survive the upcoming catastrophe and establish the Rocket dynasty will be richly rewarded," Giovanni said. "And if that's not good enough—which it might not be, considering that he's already incredibly wealthy—then just forget the whole thing and steal that damn airship of his."

"Yes, sir!" the sisters chorused.

"Sebastian, Nakamura-" Giovanni started.

"IT'S NAMBA!" Namba shouted.

Giovanni rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Progress on Project TT?"

"We received the latest shipment of ore from Meteor Cave as promised and have been able to continue manufacturing TT's super-strong hull," Sebastian reported. "I have also yet to find the elusive de-evolution frequency, but I'm working on it."

"And thanks to Bob and Cassidy-" Namba started.

"IT'S BUTCH!" Butch yelled.

"Whatever. Thanks to analysis of the Pokemon they've sent me so far, I've been able to successfully construct a hypnosis machine and an ice gun, as well as synthesize several doses of artificial Pokerus we can use to bolster the strength of our troops," Namba said.

"Assuming it doesn't turn them all into zombies," Sebastian commented.

Namba rolled his eyes. "Will you quit it with that? There's only a seventeen point one four chance of that happening!" The other Rockets sweatdropped. "I still require that Aerodactyl, Luvdisc, and Hippowdon, though."

"We're working on it," Cassidy said with a sigh. "Those Pokemon aren't exactly easy to find, you know!"

Butch nodded. "Yeah, Aerodactyls live in pretty dangerous areas like Sky Tower, Pitfall Valley, or *shudder* Joyous Tower, all the Luvdisc on the continent seem to have migrated elsewhere for the Fall, and we'd have to comb every inch of the world's deserts to find a Hippowdon at this time of year!"

"I don't care how you do it, just do it!" Namba snapped. "I NEED those Pokemon to complete TT's weapon systems!"

Butch and Cassidy sighed unhappily. "Yes, sir…"

"Attila. Hun. Do you have anything new to report?" Giovanni asked. "Any new leads on the location of the missing legendaries or J's whereabouts? Or even where our enemy's hideout is?"

The Steel-types shook their heads. "Sorry, sir, but still no," said Attila.

"We're working on it, though," said Hun. "And we think we're closing in on J, if that helps. She's a sneaky one, but we're better trackers than she probably realizes."

Giovanni nodded. "Good, if you can capture her, we might be able to interrogate her and discover the whereabouts of our foes."

"You sure, sir?" Cassidy asked doubtfully.

"Yeah, I heard J's a really tough nut to crack!" Oakley agreed.

Hun chuckled darkly. "Yeah? Well, so am I." Considering that Hun happened to be a rather large female Steelix, they all believed it.

"And finally…Jessie. James. Mickey. How are you doing in trailing Team Aurabolt?" Giovanni asked. There was no reply. He frowned and glanced at the final screen, which was blank. "Jessie? James? Mickey? That's odd, they're late."

"How is that odd?" asked Annie.

"They're ALWAYS late," said an exasperated Vicious.

Cassidy snorted. "Jessie probably overslept again."

Giovanni scowled. "I gave them explicit orders to contact me at this hour so they could participate in the teleconference! Typical, I give them a little leeway and send them on a 'special' mission, and they're already forgetting all the rules."

"Kids are like that," Tyson said sympathetically.

"Domino, I don't suppose the agent you sent after them can enlighten us as to why Mickey's team has not reported in as scheduled?" the annoyed Giovanni asked his second.

Domino shook her head. "He's not due to report in until later this week. He said they were heading for Turtle Town in his last transmission, however, so maybe they got into some trouble there?"

"Trouble? What kind of trouble can you get into in a town full of turtles?!" Namba demanded.

"Knowing those three? Something really stupid," said Butch.

…

Near the outskirts of Turtle Town…

As it turned out, Butch was right.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

BANG!

CRASH!

SMASH!

CRUNCH!

"Uhhhhhhh…" Team Rocket groaned. They were lying in a heap atop a pile of broken board games and video game consoles. Light shone brightly through the large hole they had smashed through the side of the rather decrepit stone tower they had been thrown into by the explosion from the bloodbath inflicted on them by Turtle Town's draconic and skeletal guardians. Incredibly (and unfortunately), all of them were still alive, and much to Wabbaku's frustration, he had been unable to save Jessie's life even once, indicating he was still indebted to her. Curses!

"Ouch…that's gonna leave a mark…" Mickey, who was lying on top of Gardenia and being pierced all over by her thorns, moaned.

"My Queen, are you all right?" Buzz, who had cradled Jessie's body inside his own (thus preventing Wabbaku from absorbing her fall and absolving his debt) asked her anxiously.

"I haven't seen that many undead Pokemon outside of a George A. Romeo movie!" Jessie cried as she wriggled free from the rather clingy Yanmega's clutches. Wabbaku shook his head in amazement, she looked battered and beaten all over, but not a single wing or limb was severely broken! How did these Rocket folk _do_ this?!

"Jimmy, are you okay?" Mickey asked James anxiously as he pulled his lover out of the pile of Rockets.

James' eyes had gone all swirly. "The leg bone's connected to the…hip bone…the hip bone's connected to the… rib bone…the rib bone…uh…I forget…" he droned.

"Chiiiiii," whimpered Chimecho, who was wrapped around James' head in terror.

"Well, that was fun…not…" Gardenia grumbled as someone helped her to her feet. When she saw that someone was Wabbaku, she turned bright red and fell back to the floor in a dead faint. He sweatdropped.

Jessie glanced around, disgust evident on her face as she took in their rather dark, dank, and bland surroundings. There was nothing in the tower but some broken furniture and the equally broken pile of games they had landed on. "Okay, where are we? And why aren't there any valuables here? That would have at least partially justified our suffering at the hands of those horrible undead ghouls!"

"Skeletons," Wabbaku corrected her. "Ghouls have more flesh on them, whereas the monsters we just faced had entirely clean bones. Ghouls also eat Pokemon—usually dead ones—whereas these just beat us up and threw us out of town."

"Whatever!" Jessie snapped, not caring. "That still doesn't answer my question: where are we?!"

The Rockets glanced around, but as said before, there wasn't much to see. "What a dump," Mickey sneered.

"I don't know, with some more furniture, better lighting, and some drapes it might look nice," James said.

"Chiiiiii!" Chimecho agreed.

"My Queen, we should get out of here…I don't like the looks of this place, it could crumble on us at any minute!" Buzz said anxiously as he looked at the rather shoddy condition of the tower's interior.

"Oh, stop whining," Jessie snarled.

"I wonder who all these games belonged to?" Gardenia wondered, looking at the pile that had broken their fall…and subsequently gotten broken. "I hope they don't mind that we broke them all…"

Wabbaku stiffened abruptly as the spirits whispered a dire warning. His mystical senses started blazing abruptly, shouting that they were all in grave danger. "Miss Jessie! I think Buzz is right. We need to get out of here immediately! I can sense a great evil here…it was dormant, but our abrupt entrance is starting to wake it up! We must get out of here before it awakens completely and dooms us all!"

"Eeek! Great evil? Let's get out of here!" James wailed.

"Chii chiiii!" Chimecho agreed.

Jessie frowned. "Wait, great evil? You're sensing something evil? Then why didn't you sense those skeletons back in Turtle Town?!"

"Uh, because…er, they weren't evil, so the spirits saw no reason to warn me of them," Wabbaku lied quickly. "Because they were just guarding the place and weren't actively malicious. Until we provoked them. However, the presence here is VERY evil, and now that we've angered it, it will inflict even WORSE punishment on us if we do not leave its demesnes immediately!"

"Well, I'm convinced. C'mon, Jimmie!" Mickey yelled, grabbing James and dragging him towards the exit.

"Me too! Wait up!" Gardenia cried, rushing after them. She would always believe Wabbaku. She had the utmost faith in him. She was in love with him, after all.

"Come, My Queen! I will protect you!" Buzz declared, grabbing Jessie and pulling her towards the exit, despite her protests.

"Wait! Unhand me! If there's a great evil here, it might have treasure!" Jessie wailed as her loyal servant pulled her out of the tower.

Wabbaku frowned, his mystical senses immediately feeling that something was off…but he didn't have time to pursue that thought, because rather abruptly the tower began to collapse. He yelped and quickly scurried for the exit just before the walls caved in and the roof came tumbling down, the ancient edifice imploding on itself and throwing up a cloud of smoke and rock dust as it very quickly crumbled into nothingness, entombing the broken games and furniture in a rather large pile of rubble Wabbaku had been extremely lucky not to get trapped in. He stared back incredulously, he had only just made it over the threshold before the entire thing fell apart. "Great Spirits, that was close…" he whispered, more than a little shaken by how near he had been to death. And he doubted that Jessie, or anyone else, would have been able to save him this time…

"Wabbaku! Are you all right?" the anxious Gardenia cried, rushing over to see if he was okay.

The Wobbuffet nodded. "I am all right…though that very nearly ended my life. Praise the spirits I made it out in time!"

"Yeah! Thanks, spirits!" Gardenia said.

"Yikes! That evil thing must have been REALLY angry if it brought its own house down on top of us!" James, currently being cradled in Mickey's arms, said in fright.

Jessie snorted. "Oh, please! The structural integrity of that decrepit ruin was probably just ruined by us smashing through the wall, there was no evil spirit there!"

"You've never been dis skeptical of Wabbaku's spirit-sense before, Jess," said the puzzled Mickey. "Why're you doubting him now?"

"Because it didn't tell us about those horrible skeletons, which could have saved us a lot of trouble if those stupid spirits had mentioned it earlier!" Jessie said angrily. Wabbaku fidgeted uneasily but said nothing.

"Wabbaku, are we out of danger now?" Gardenia, who still had the utmost faith in the shaman, asked nervously.

Wabbaku frowned and concentrated. "Hmm…that's strange."

"What is?" asked the Cacnea.

"I sense we are no longer at risk, and yet…I still feel a faint presence nearby. And…" He paused, and then picked up one of the stones from the fallen tower. He examined it for a moment. He gasped in alarm and dropped it. "Oh no…this tower was not the home of an evil force, but its prison! The fact that it has collapsed means that it has escaped!"

James screamed like a girl. "Oh no!" Gardenia cried.

"Escaped? But how?" asked the worried Buzz.

"Was it something we did?" James asked anxiously.

Wabbaku considered that for a moment. "…It couldn't have escaped through the hole we made, otherwise the place would have caved in earlier. So that must mean…" He glanced around at the other Rockets. "Did any of you take anything with you when we left that place?"

They all shook their heads. Wabbaku frowned and scratched his head in puzzlement, certain that one if not all of them was lying…and suddenly noticed something different about Mickey. "Mickey, when did you get that nose?"

"Huh? This?" Mickey asked, pointing to the rather large red clown nose on his face. "Oh, I found it lying around in dere after we got offa dat pile of junk and thought it would be neat to finally have a nose of my own! Now I look just like Jimmy, don't I?" He squeezed the nose several times, causing it to make a honking noise.

James giggled and applauded. "You do, you do! Now we're a perfect match!"

"Chiiiii!" Chimechoa said stupidly.

Wabbaku slapped his forehead incredulously. "You idiot! That nose must be the evil's physical form! When you took it out of the tower after I told you all to run, it broke the spell and released it from its imprisonment!"

"…This thing is a powerful demon?" Mickey asked skeptically.

"Why would a demon disguise itself as a clown nose? That's stupid!" Jessie scoffed.

"Actually, I once read a horror story about a demon that turned itself into a toilet and ate anyone who sat on it…it made me afraid to use the bathroom for weeks," James whimpered.

"Remove that thing at once, before it is too late!" Wabbaku ordered the Meowth.

Mickey rolled his eyes. "Okay, okay, fine, if you insist…" He tugged at the nose. Frowned. Tugged on it harder. "What the…" He continued tugging on it, but to no avail. A worried expression formed on his face. "That's…that's funny. I can't take it off."

Wabbaku's face went pale. "Oh no…"

Jessie sighed in exasperation. "You're doing it wrong! Here, let me…" She grabbed the nose in her claws and yanked as hard as she could. "Unf…ugghhh…wow, it's stuck on pretty tight…"

"Allow me to help, My Queen!" Buzz proclaimed loudly, grabbing her from behind and pulling as well, so he was yanking on Jessie tugging on Mickey's new nose.

"Ow! OW!" Mickey yelled, waving his paws to try and knock the bugs away. "Stop it, you're gonna rip my face off!"

James gasped. "No, not your face! It's one of the most beautiful things about you!"

Mickey's eyes got all big and shiny. "Aw, Jimmy…"

"Oh, shut up!" Jessie snarled, continuing to tug on the clown nose. "Come…on…why…won't…YOU…WAAAAHHH!" she yelled as she and Buzz were blasted away by a sudden wave of force emitted by the nose, which started glowing ominously. "Wh-what the…"

"AAAAHHH! What's happening to me?!" Mickey screamed as his nose started crackling with malevolent energy.

"Mickey, no!" the horrified James gasped.

"Chiiiiiii!" wailed Chimecho.

"Wh-what's happening?!" Gardenia cried, hugging Wabbaku in fright.

"It is as I feared…" the shaman said gravely, making the sign of Arceus' wheel to ward off evil. "The demon has bonded itself to Mickey and is using him as a host. I fear that his soul, and possibly all of ours, are now in dire jeopardy…"

The nose pulsated and giggled evilly. Mickey whimpered. "Aw, crud…why's all da bad stuff always gotta happen to me?!"

…

Somewhere in the waters off the coast of Almiore…

"So, where's this Chicole place again?" Mary asked Maren, who was currently steering their boat as they left Mt. Boyleland (and Gooey's grave) behind them.

"Pretty far to the southwest. We're going to have to head to the southern end of the continent to reach it," the Togetic replied. "And we're off the eastern coast at the moment, so it'll take us a couple of days to reach there."

"When we arrive, I guess we'll be parting ways," Gary said a little sadly.

The Togetic started at that. "Wh-what?! No! Uh, I mean…I've been assigned to be your, ah, guide while you travel our continent," Maren said quickly, which was not entirely a lie. "So we'll still be seeing a lot of each other for the next while or so!"

Mary blinked. "Really? I thought you were just our boat captain. Why didn't you mention that before?"

"It just slipped my mind," Maren said with a nervous laugh, hoping they didn't pry further and discover she had actually been assigned to spy on them.

"Oh, yeah, that sort of thing happens to me all the time," Gary said with a nod. He frowned. "In fact, I think I'm forgetting something important right now."

"Hello?" Evan, who had been tied to the top of the boat's flagpole as punishment for killing Gooey, cried pitifully.

"It's on the tip of my tongue…" said Gary.

"Help!" Evan shouted.

"It's super-important, I just _know _it!" said Gary.

"Sssomebody get me down from here!" Evan wailed.

Gary snapped his fingers. "Ah, now I remember! Mary, the swag…er, tool kit," he amended quickly when the Medicham glared at him.

Gary reached into the toolbox once Mary had gotten it out and handed Maren an absolutely beautiful golden egg encrusted with countless rubies, sapphires, emeralds, diamonds, and pearls. "Here ya go! We came across this pretty trinket in Volcano Cave, and thought you might like it."

Maren's jaw dropped. The egg had to be almost as big as she was, and looked to be worth more than she would ever manage to make in her lifetime…times eleven! "You-you got this for me?!" she asked incredulously.

"Actually, Evan got it for himself," said Mary.

"But since he's forfeited his share of the loot by murdering Gooey, we thought you should have this instead! It suits you," Gary said cheerfully.

"Hey! That'sss mine! Don't let her have that!" Evan yelled. They ignored him.

"Um…thanks, you guys. I don't know what to say," Maren said, still stunned by the prodigious gift.

"How about 'thanks?'" Mary suggested.

"Uh…okay. Thank you!" Maren said.

"You're welcome!" Gary said happily.

Maren could hardly believe they had done something as nice as this for her…even if technically it had been to punish one of their own. She couldn't help but marvel at how Team Nightshade kept surprising her at every turn. Every time she thought she had them figured out, they revealed a new side to themselves. And while those sides weren't always pleasant ones, it still showed that they were more complex than she had initially thought. And that was why she was still convinced that, deep down inside, they had the potential to become the heroes the Mirage Kingdom needed after all.

"Hey, when're you guysss gonna let me down from here?" Evan whined.

"When we get to Chicole Village!" Gary shouted up at him.

"What?! But that won't be for daysss!" Evan protested. "And what'm I gonna eat until then?!"

"You should have thought of that before you threw Gooey to his death!" Mary replied.

"I _sssaid_ I wasss sssorry!" Evan hissed.

"Sorry doesn't cut it! Only cruel and humiliating punishment does!" Gary said, causing Maren to sweatdrop and reconsider her earlier assumption. "Just like poor Gooey suffered…" He sighed. "Oh, Gooey…"

"He's in a better place now," Mary said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Where nobody squeezes him whenever they want a drink and he can live happily without being afraid that someone will throw him into the mouth of a fiery giant."

"Will you ssstop bringing that up already?!" Evan yelled.

Gary smiled faintly. "Thanks, Mary. Hey, I just realized…you're over your seasickness!"

Mary blinked. "Huh?" Her face turned green. She ran over to the side of the boat and threw up into the water.

Gary sweatdropped. "I guess I spoke too soon…"

"Hey! A Wingull jussst pooped on me!" Evan shouted. "Get back here, you ssstupid flying Rattata! I'm hungry! And ssstinky! You're gonna pay for thisss!" Maren facepalmed. Somehow, she got the feeling this was going to be a _long_ trip…

…

Meanwhile, in Volcano Cave…

The cavern in which the Devil Golem had once resided was cool and dark, the hardened lava lit dimly by phosphorescent fungus on the walls. The chamber was completely empty, save for one small Rescue Team Badge sitting on the mound of solidified lava in the center of the room, a silent memorial to a fallen comrade.

Suddenly, the cavern began to shake. Cracks snaked out across the floor from the lava mound, tongues of flame and an eerie glow rising from them. A tentacle wreathed in fire and looking as if it was composed of molten rock abruptly burst out of one of the cracks, waving wildly in the air, the many black suckers on its underside expanding and contracting as if they were breathing, their interiors lined with many very sharp fangs. Another tentacle emerged from the ground, and another, and another, until there were a total of eight wiggling about and dripping flames everywhere.

Without warning, the large mound of hardened rock began to turn red and melt before exploding as a tremendous pillar of fire shot out from beneath the ground and towered into the air, its top licking the broken glass and metal of the weight that had once contained the water used to defeat the Devil Golem and melting it into slag. The Rescue Team Badge was sent flying by the explosion, and bounced across the floor several times before coming to a stop against some cracked pebbles. A dark form rose up through the center of the flames, dragging the tentacles back into the ground and up into the column with it. A pair of eyes slitted open on that dark form, an evil red glow shining out from them and visible through the raging fire. With a terrific roar, the creature lashed out with its tendrils, causing the flames to dissipate and reveal its horrifying figure.

The twisting and intertwining flaming tentacles connected to a large, bulbous head whose skin also had the consistency of lava, and was on fire like the rest of its body. Several rock-hard spikes grew from its head in a row from front to back going over the top of its cranium. It had a long spout growing from the front of its face in place of a mouth or nose, and the interior of that spout was lined with several rows of jagged fangs and was lit eerily by some deeper, inner flame. The beast had two large eyes, one on each side of the spout, big and red and round and burning with rage. "IIIIIIIIIIII LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!" the tentacled monster shouted to the heavens, causing the cave to shake and rocks to fall from the ceiling.

The flames from its body and the glow of the lava bubbling up through the hole in the floor it had emerged from reflected off the discarded Rescue Team Badge and grabbed the monster's attention. A tentacle shot out, wrapped around the Badge, and brought it back to the creature's head for perusal. It studied it for a moment, before its eyes narrowed in hate and with a snarl it squeezed the Badge until it had been melted down into nothing. "TEAM NIGHTSHADE…MUST…PAAAAAAYYYYYY!" the eight-limbed monstrosity vowed. "I WILL DESTROY THEM ALLLLLLLL!"

Gathering its tentacles around itself, the creature flew towards the ceiling, smashing through it and melting its way through several miles worth of rock before finally bursting out of the top of Mt. Boyleland and into the open air. The extinct volcano, stirred back to life by the monster's fury, erupted for the first time in hundreds of years, raining ash and lava all over Boyleland and causing the resident Pokemon to flee in terror. Uncaring of the destruction and chaos he was leaving in his wake, the flaming beast flew off towards the horizon, bent on finding his quarry and exacting his revenge.

Gooey the Octillery had somehow returned from the dead…and he was _pissed._

…

Elsewhere…

A blue eye glittered in the darkness. "Sasha."

"Yes, my lord?"

"Go to Mt. Battle."

"Why, my lord?"

"Do not question me. You will meet someone there who is in need of your assistance."

"Who, my lord?"

"You will know him when you see him. You have met before. Now GO!"

And then Sasha awoke, her master's command still ringing in her ears. Shaking her fur to rid herself of the last vestiges of sleep, she set out to fulfill her mission. She did not waste idle time wondering at her master's intent, not when she knew how fond he was of letting her figure things out for herself. It could be irritating at times, but there was no point in complaining. How could you, when you were the servant of a god?

…

Meanwhile, in Pokemon Square…

"Okay…come on, you can do it…just a little further…remember, put one foot in front of the other!" Raiki said encouragingly, as if to an infant.

Except that he wasn't speaking to an infant but to Matthias Shorttail, whom he was currently trying to teach how to walk on his hind legs. The Ratatta wasn't doing an especially good job of it. "I-I don't think I can do this!" Matthias stammered as he very gingerly inched forward, his arms extended to his sides and his eponymous tail pointed straight behind him in an attempt to balance himself. Even with all that, he still wobbled with every step and was certain he was going to fall over at any moment. To make things worse, he was starting to feel somewhat acrophobic, everything looked so _different_ when you were standing up straight. It was rather disorienting. "I'm going to fall!"

"You're not going to fall!" Raiki said patiently.

"I'm going to fall!" Matthias repeated.

"You're not going to fall!" Raiki repeated.

"I'm going to-" Matthias fell, not because he lost his balance but because he accidentally tripped over a twig that he hadn't seen despite keeping his eyes constantly focused on the ground. "Ow."

Raiki sighed. "This is going to take a while…"

Pichu, who was sitting nearby, pointed and laughed. "Ha-ha! Matthias fell!"

"Dear, that's not a nice thing to say," Delia scolded. "Especially since I seem to remember _you_ having some difficulty mastering walking on two legs not too long ago."

"Yeah, but I figured it out quicker and at a younger age than he did!" Pichu pointed out. "_And_ I already know how to use a sword! But he doesn't. Which is why I laughed."

Delia sighed. "It's not his fault he hasn't received the proper education, he's spent all his life living out in the savage wild with his family. You can't have expected him to learn how to wield a sword out there."

"Speaking of which, why do I have to learn how to use a sword again?" Matthias asked wearily as Raiki helped him back up. "Can't I just use my fangs, like any regular Rattata?"

Raiki scoffed. "Don't be preposterous, every Thunderblade learns how to wield a sword! To even think of using any other weapon is nothing short of blasphemy!"

"But I'm not a Thunderblade, I'm a Shorttail!" Matthias pointed out.

"Not anymore you're not, according to the legal adoption papers we had drawn up at City Hall," Raiki said cheerfully. "Now you're one of the family!"

"Joy," Matthias said deadpan.

Delia frowned thoughtfully. "You know, it seems like our family's been getting very big this year. First Ash joined us several months ago, and now we have Matthias, and in a short while we'll have a new little brother or sister for young Pichu here!"

"I hope it's a girl," Pichu said. "So I can pick on her. And rub dirt in her fur."

"What if she likes dirt?" Raiki asked.

"Uhhh…" Pichu hadn't thought of that.

"I hope it's a girl too, no offense but there are too many male egoes in this family," Delia said.

"I agree wholeheartedly! We could use a little more feminine wiles around the house," Raiki said with a nod.

"Matthias doesn't count?" Pichu teased. Delia smacked him. "Ow…"

Matthias grimaced. "I hope it's not a girl…nearly all my siblings were sisters. And since my kind gives birth to a dozen eggs at a time, there were a LOT of sisters…" She shuddered in dread at the memory, only for his face to fall when he remembered that most of those sisters were currently either dead or being used as sex toys by the army of the Monkey King. "On second thought…maybe a girl wouldn't be so bad. I'd give anything to see my sisters again…"

"You will, once we defeat the Monkey King and crush his army into the dust!" Raiki said confidently.

"You say that like it's so easy," Matthias marveled.

"Well, it is for me! I'm a legendary sworsdmon!" Raiki pointed out. "Plus, my old buddy and teammate Aaron's coming back to town soon, and I hear we're going to be summoning the Guardian of Light to our plane of existence, which means we're gonna be kicking all sorts of ass! But we're going to need to teach you how to walk on two legs before then, because otherwise you'll never be able to wield a sword properly and help out in the coming battle!"

Matthias groaned. "Can't we just wait until I evolve into a Raticate and work from there?"

"No," said Raiki. His stomach growled. "Hmm, but first I think we should take a break for lunch. Honey, has Pichu devoured the contents of our basket yet?"

"Nope, I made sure to Pichu-proof it," Delia said as her youngest son tried and failed unsuccessfully to gnaw off the lock she'd put on their picnic basket.

"Great! Then it's time for some eatin'!" Raiki said, bounding over to the blanket on which his wife and son were sitting. Matthias started to follow, until his new father said, "Matthias, walk here on two legs. You need more practice!" With a despondent and hungry groan, Matthias obeyed.

It was a very pleasant day in Pokemon Square, and the Thunderblade family had decided to have a picnic in the artificial forest taking up the city's northeastern quarter. Several other Pokemon seemed to have gotten the same idea, and were relaxing or eating in the shade from the trees or playing out in the warm sunshine. Matthias still felt incredibly nervous being around so many different kinds of Pokemon in such close proximity, many of whom would have eaten him without a second thought back in his old home, so kept an eye on the larger predator-types while eating the delicious Poffin Delia had brought despite constant reassurances that there was nothing to fear from them.

As a result, he was understandably alarmed when he noticed a Zangoose and a Seviper stalking towards each other, a determined gleam in their eyes. He gasped in horror. "Oh no! We have to get out of here!"

"Why? We still have plenty to eat," said Raiki.

"And I don't think it's going to rain," Delia said, looking up at the sky. "Cassie the Castform assured us it wouldn't…"

"No, look! There's a Seviper and a Zangoose!" Matthias pointed out. "They've seen each other, which means they're going to fight to the death, which means we have to get out of here before we get caught in the crossfire! I've seen whole tracts of forest get decimated when members of their species meet in battle, they don't care who gets hurt by their fight so long as they get to kill each other!"

Raiki blinked at Matthias in surprise, then burst into laughter. Delia and Pichu followed suit. "Wh-what's so funny?! We're in grave danger!" Matthias cried, wondering how they could possibly be so blind to the clear peril they were in.

"Heheheheh…from Zeke and Sally? Don't be silly, neither of them would hurt a fly!" Raiki said.

"Maybe normally they wouldn't," Matthias insisted, though he rather doubted this impossible claim. "But when any Seviper and Zangoose meet each other, they have no choice but to fight to the death! They have some sort of eternal feud thing going on!"

"Is that so? You may have to change your opinion on that in a moment," Delia said, pointing to the two Pokemon, who were circling each other warily.

Matthias cringed as the eternal enemies glared at each other and tensed up. The Zangoose growled. The Seviper hissed. The Zangoose spread his arms menacingly. The Seviper coiled back and lunged at him. Matthias squeaked and covered his eyes, though he peeked out between his fingers to see the ensuing bloodshed.

Except there was no bloodshed. The Zangoose gave no resistance as the Seviper wrapped herself around him, squeezed tightly, and…started kissing him?! Matthias removed his paws, his jaw dropping as the rival Pokemon began passionately making out, falling to the ground and rolling about in each other's grasp as they kept kissing and holding each other lovingly. Matthias' eye twitched. "What…but…huh?!"

"Yeah, Zeke and Sally are lovers," said Raiki.

"They've been childhood friends all their life, started dating a few years ago, and recently decided to tie the knot," Delia said. "They've set a date for their wedding a few months from now. It should be lovely. We were invited, naturally." She sighed happily. "Oh, it just brings back memories of how we got together…those were good times, weren't they Raiki?"

"Still are," Raiki said, smiling fondly at his wife.

Pichu made a face. "Ew! Yuck! Stop looking at each other like that, it's gross! It's bad enough that those two have to eat each other's faces in public all the time without you doing it too!"

"Wait, wait, WAIT! The Seviper and Zangoose are not just lovers, but they've been friends for years?!" Matthias demanded.

"And more," Raiki said.

"But…but…how?! Zangoose and Seviper have battled each other for generations! It's in their blood! How can they just _stop_ and decide to fall in love?!" Matthias asked desperately, trying to understand the impossible.

"It's easy, in Pokemon Square," Raiki said seriously.

"Just look around, Matthias," Delia said, indicating their neighbors and fellow picnickers. "Haven't you noticed how many of them should, biologically and instinctually speaking, be fighting and eating each other? But none of them do. Do you know why that is? It's because that isn't the sort of thing that civilized Pokemon do."

"Isn't…then…" Matthias blinked. "Wait. Then you're saying…it's because they were born in and grew up in a city that they don't hate each other or want to have each other for dinner?"

Delia nodded. "That sort of behavior isn't really conducive to civilized life, dear. It would tear society apart. How could you possibly expect to run a business or teach school or build a house or even plant a garden if you were always afraid that your neighbors were going to kill you? By being a citizen of a town, you form a social contract with those around you that says you not only you will not try to kill or eat each other, but you will endeavor to be friends with one another and strive to benefit your community together. It's on the backs of these social contracts that great civilizations are born."

Matthias was floored by this concept. He had trouble wrapping his brain around it. "…I don't understand. If that's true, and Pokemon of different species _can_ live together in relative harmony, then why…why isn't the outside world like that? Why are there barbarians and monsters and all sorts of other Pokemon trying to hurt or eat each other? Why do they do that if there really is a better way?"

"Because not everyone believes that _is_ the better way," Delia said sadly.

"The way city Pokemon live now is modeled to some extent after humans, with whom Pokemon shared a partnership many centuries ago," Raiki explained. "However, many Pokemon hate humans and the idea of them, and think that Pokemon are better off living as 'nature intended,' without the benefits of technology, media, clean living, free food and medical support, or indoor plumbing. They see progress as evil and un-Pokemonish. They want to cling to the old ways and traditions and live as their ancestors did, even if those old ways and traditions don't really make much sense anymore."

"It's a bit more complicated than that, but that's the simplest way of putting it," Delia said. "We're not trying to say that it's _wrong_ to live that way-"

"Even though it is," Pichu butted in.

"Just that it isn't the safest or healthiest way for Pokemon to live in in this day and age," Delia finished.

"…I'm safe here, aren't I?" Matthias whispered, realizing this for the first time. "In this place…I don't have to worry about starving or being eaten or getting killed by some cruel predator or even a family member just for the fun of it. Here, I'm safe. Really, truly, _safe_." Even back in his home, even surrounded by his rather large extended family, there was always the shadow of fear and death and hunger hovering over everyone. Matthias realized that for the first time in his life, he had been removed from that shadow, and was now able to see how bright and wonderful the world could really be without it. He was so overcome with emotion that he started crying tears of joy. "I'm _safe…_"

"That's right, dear. You can live happy and free now. You'll always be safe with us," Delia said, hugging the sobbing Rattata to her chest.

"Until we teach you how to use a sword and send you out into the savage wilderness to fight barbarians, that is!" Raiki said cheerfully. Delia glared at him. "What?"

"I'm bored," Pichu whined, his short attention span already losing interest in the moving family moment. "Can we do something else now?"

"Okay. How about we talk about your brothers? Their latest email told us that they'd finished up business at the Tree of Beginning—too bad they lost all their Stars and the Tree itself!—but they were all still alive and heading out to find the next one," Delia recalled. After Team Aurabolt had introduced Leo to Oak via webcam, the researcher had helped them establish secure channels for communicating with home, too, and so all the team members had been sending periodic emails back to their families to let them know what was going on. Yes, they've been totally doing this all along and this isn't a plot element that was added at the last minute several chapters too late, honest!

"It sounds like they're having quite a time of it over there…I almost wish I could be with them," Raiki admitted. "Not just to help out, but to feel the spirit of adventure again."

"You still have plenty of adventures now," Delia pointed out.

"Not like I did back when I was younger, and still part of Team Auraforce," Raiki pointed out. He smiled wistfully. "Yeah, those were the days…like the time we dove to the bottom of the ocean to the sunken city of R'lyech to stop some crazy cultists from awakening the monstrous Tentacthulhu and ending the world. Or the time we got lost for a week in another dimension that was exactly the same as ours except everyone wore sombreros. Or that time when we went to the Moon!"

"We still have some cheese from that," Delia reminded him.

"Yeah, good times, good times," Raiki said.

"Why'd you stop?" asked the curious Matthias, fascinated by the things Raiki had done (or claimed he had done).

Raiki shrugged. "Delia got pregnant. I decided that I couldn't stay on the Team and have a family at the same time, so I went into semi-retirement. That's why I still do important solo missions now and then, but I spend most of my time raising my kids."

"Do you miss it much, Dad?" Pichu asked.

Raiki chuckled. "Let me put it this way, kiddo. If I had to choose between battling an entire army of rabid howling demonic Zigzagoon with a broken arm and dealing with your hyperactivity whenever you got on a sugar rush, I'd pick you every time…even though it would be a more likely way for me to get killed."

"Thanks!" said Pichu. He paused. "Wait…"

"It sounds like Pikachu and Ash are going to have the same sorts of epic adventures you and Aaron and Allen used to have," Delia commented. "Sort of like déjà vu, isn't it?"

Raiki nodded. "Yeah, except that they don't have a permanent third team member who happens to be of the Abra evolution line and keep swapping new Pokemon in and out as the old ones move on to other things, form families, or make their own teams."

"That Leo fellow sounds like he's going to be a permanent member," Delia pointed out.

"Yes, but he's not an Abra or a Kadabra, so the analogy doesn't quite work," Raiki said.

Matthias sighed sadly. "Those two are amazing. No matter how hard you train me, I don't think I'll ever be as good as them…"

"You're right, you won't!" Raiki said cheerfully, patting his adopted son on the head. "But you'll still be a pretty good fighter when I'm through with you."

Matthias sweatdropped. "Uh, thanks?" said the confused Ratatta.

Suddenly, a piercing triple shriek rang through the forest, causing Matthias to scream and jump into the air in fright and for all the other Pokemon to twitch their ears in surprise. "Wh-what was that?!" the terrified Ratatta asked, his heart rapidly beating a tattoo against his chest.

"Hmm, that sounded like the Waterflower sisters," Delia said.

Raiki frowned. "Yes, but…the intensity of the cry, the sheer volume, and that exact pitch…there's only one thing they've ever reacted to with such a high level of sound, and that's…" His eyes widened. He gasped. "No…could it be?!" He got up and started running for the city's northern gate.

His family, left behind, blinked. "…Should we follow him?" asked the very confused Matthias.

Delia sighed and stood up. "I suppose so. Come along, boys."

"Awwww, but I wanted to keep eating!" Pichu complained.

"Maybe later, dear," Delia replied, packing up the picnic basket and blanket and hurrying her sons after their father.

They caught up to Raiki at Pokemon Square's northern gate, where the elder Raichu was brusquely pushing his way through a rather large squealing mob of teenagers and, disturbingly enough, some of the town's oldest (and not female) residents. "Stand aside, coming through, out of the way!" Raiki shouted as he shoved the Pokemon out of his way, trying to get to the forefront of the mob, where the rather harried Magneton gatekeeper Magnus was trying to get the doors open while keeping the frenzied Pokemon from breaking down the gate themselves. "Magnus, what's going on? Is it the Pokemon I think it is? Has he really returned at long last?"

Magnus bobbed his body in a nod. "Yes, but I can't get the gate open with all these crazy people in the way, they keep pushing me and trying to open it themselves! Ugh, why does he have to be so popular…"

"Hey, when you're as sexy fine as him, it's hard not to have a huge fanclub," Raiki said. "Hang on, I'll take care of this." He drew his sword, raised it into the air, and started shooting Thunderbolts into the crowd, electrocuting the out-of-control Pokemon and causing them to collapse to the ground, twitching and crackling and frothing at the mouth. "There! All done!"

Delia facepalmed. "Oh, Raiki…"

"Why did he do that?!" Matthias cried.

"I'm gonna be just like him when I grow up!" Pichu said proudly. "And make annoying people shut up like that, too!" Delia groaned.

Magnus sweatdropped. "Was that really necessary?"

"Yes," Raiki said. "You know as well as I do that they'd trample him in a second the instant they caught a glimpse of him."

"We love you…" said the dazed Lily Waterflower, one of the closest Pokemon to the gate.

"Marry…me…" said Violet Waterflower.

"No, marry _me!_" Daisy Waterflower insisted.

"Shut up…you…hussy…" Lily said.

"No…_you_ shut up…" said Violet.

"No, _you!_" said Daisy. The three Eeveelutions snarled weakly and flailed their limbs in a rather pathetic attempt to hit each other.

"Good point," said Magnus. "Okay…opening the gate!" He used his magnetic powers to activate the nearby controls.

The thick double doors rolled back on their hinges into the sides of the gateway arch with the rumbling of gears and the squeaking of regularly oiled machinery, revealing a familiar figure standing on the other side of the city's moat (Yes, they have a moat, I just forgot to mention it earlier. So there), waiting patiently as a bridge extended from the base of the gate to allow him passage. Calmly, he stepped forward as the near end of the bridge reached him and crossed it, passed through the gate and into Pokemon Square. He was a tall blindfolded Lucario carrying an ornate metal staff with a crystal surrounded by rings and bangles at the top in one hand and a framed picture in the other. A wide grin formed on his long face as he peered down at Raiki, clearly able to see the Raichu despite the cloth over his eyes. "Raiki. It's been a long time, old friend."

Raiki smiled back. "You can say that again. Welcome home…Aaron."

Matthias gasped. "Wait…you mean…is that who I think it is?"

Delia nodded, a fond smile on her face. "It is…the legendary Aura Guardian and the greatest hero Pokemon Square has ever produced…Aaron of Team Auraforce!"

"Yay, Uncle Aaron's home!" Pichu cried. "Wait, have I ever met him?"

"No, dear," said Delia.

"Good, then he's got a lot of missed birthdays to make up for!" Pichu said. Delia and Matthias sweatdropped.

"It's good to be home, Raiki," Aaron said, spreading his arms. "C'mere."

"Okay," Raiki said, stepping forward…and slugging the Lucario hard in the gut. Everyone's jaws dropped (except for Magnus's, since he didn't have a mouth) as Aaron dropped his few possessions and doubled over in pain. "You jerk!" Raiki bellowed at the top of his lungs. "Do you have any idea how long you've been gone?! We were worried sick about you! You could have at least sent a letter every now and then to tell us how you were doing! Some people even started saying you were dead! I didn't believe it for a second, of course, since you're too tough to die, but if you _did_, then how would you ever pay me back the fifty Poke' you owe me?!" Everyone facefaulted.

Aaron grinned as he recovered from the punch and started chuckling. "Raiki, you crazy rodent, you haven't changed a bit."

Raiki burst into a grin and started laughing as well. "Yeah, you too, buddy." They hugged each other, for real this time.

"…I'm confused. Raiki was angry and punched him, but now they're hugging and laughing?" Matthias asked.

"That's how best friends are sometimes, dear. Their relationships have ups and downs, and may be incomprehensible to everyone else, but they'll always stay true to each other," Delia said.

"Does that mean they're gay?" Pichu asked. They stared at him. "What? Does it?"

"If they were gay, then how could you have ever been born?" Magnus asked the mouse.

"Dad could be bisexual or something? I dunno," said Pichu. They sweatdropped.

The two males eventually broke their embrace. "I've missed you, my friend," Aaron told Raiki.

Raiki smiled. "Me too. But seriously, where's my fifty Poke'?" Everyone facefaulted again.

…

Somewhere else entirely…

"_Restoration at 12 percent."_

"How is she doing?" the calm voice asked.

"Didn't you just hear?! Only twelve percent of her has been restored!" said the angry voice.

"Ohhh…at this rate we'll _never_ put all of her back together! Why'd she have to go and scatter her molecules all over the place, wouldn't it have been easier to keep them all in one place?" the sad voice whined.

"Hehehehe! But where would the fun in that be?" giggled the happy voice.

"What's fun about looking for molecular needles in a haystack the size of the Omniverse?!" the angry voice demanded.

The happy voice laughed. "Hoohoohoohoo, you'd know if you had more of a sense of humor."

"You _are_ my sense of humor!" the angry voice growled.

"Why did you stop talking super-fast?" the sad voice asked.

"Because I felt like it. Hohohoho!" the happy voice chuckled.

The sad voice sighed. "Why are you always so spontaneous? It gives me a headache…"

"Me too!" the angry voice agreed.

"_Restoration at 13 percent."_

"Oh! Did you hear that?!" cried the angry voice.

"Yay! Now we have another piece of her!" said the delighted happy voice.

"Woohoo. Only 87 percent more to go…" the sad voice grumbled.

"Relax, all of you. We are in no hurry," the calm voice said…calmly. "We have all the time we need to put her back together."

The happy voice burst into laughter, finding that hilarious, but then again, he found everything funny. "Literally!" he gasped.

The sad voice groaned. "What a horrible joke…"

"If it wouldn't hurt myself, I'd hit you just to shut you up," the angry voice grunted.

"What did I do?!" the sad voice cried in alarm.

"Nothing, I was talking about the other guy, but sometimes I feel like hitting you too!" the angry voice snarled.

"Hehehe! You guys need to cool off. But you can't, can you? Ahahahahaha!" the happy voice laughed.

"That isn't funny, you know," the sad voice said, rather offended.

"Yeah, I know. Sorry," the happy voice said, surprisingly serious for a change. It didn't last long, though. "Hahahahaha…sorry…but the look on your face…I couldn't resist!"

The sad voice sighed. The angry voice growled. The calm voice said nothing. And another voice said, _"Restoration at fourteen percent."_

Inside the machine the voices were clustered around, a device so advanced and bizarre it defied description (but if it could be described, would look something like a mating between a giant frog, a castle of living crystal, a locomotive, and a pipe organ, only more on fire), the blue particles they had managed to collect so far from the far reaches of the Omniverse swirled together to form a face…the face of a Vaporeon, deep in slumber.

The face of Misty Waterflower…

…

And there we go. All done!

What did you think of all the checking in on how other people were doing? I assure you, just about everything you've seen here will be a major (or minor) plot point later in the story! And I've hopefully left you guys scratching your heads and wondering what the heck's going on. Good. That reaction is what I live for.


	22. The Wigglyfather

If this chapter is a little late, I blame finals. They're responsible for everything evil in the universe.

Disclaimer: I own no characters that don't belong to me. Especially not the ones who'll be guest starring in this chapter, and possibly several more in the future!

…

Professor Oak sighed and looked down into his teacup, gently shaking it about so that the dregs swirled in an almost hypnotic way, as if he were looking into them to try and divine the future. Reluctantly, he looked up at the four curious Pokemon sitting across the table from him. "So," he said. "I suppose I should start at the beginning."

"That would be preferable, yes," Pikachu said.

"Yeah, because starting at the middle or end doesn't really make sense," Leo agreed.

Professor Oak sighed again and leaned back in his seat, looking up at the bright candelabras hanging from the ceiling of the library in Sharpedo Cape as he gathered his thoughts. "No," he agreed unhappily. "That wouldn't make sense, now would it?"

It was a few days after the great battle at the Tree of Beginning. After the funerary feast had ended, Team Aurabolt had used Leo's computer to send messages to their families and reported to Professor Oak on their failure to get the Emerald Star Badge. He had commiserated with their loss, and promised to start looking into a way that they could get to Giant Volcano and enter the Mt. Battle arena. He had been fascinated by the story of their adventure, and gleefully had Tracey record it all for posterity. After all, now that the Tree was gone, their tale of their journey inside it might be the only detailed account remaining of what the miraculous organism's inner workings had really been like that modern science would ever be able to get its hands on.

He had reacted rather badly, however, when they had told him of their encounter with the sinister Doctor Tarantulas and his psychotic assistant, Chobin. He had tried to cover it up, but the savvy Leo immediately deduced from his initial reaction that he knew of them somehow, leading the trio to demand information from him. Rather reluctantly, he admitted, much to Tracey's surprise, that he had indeed once known Tarantulas, but was unwilling to talk about it over the Internet, no matter how secure their line of communication was. He insisted they return to Treasure Town so that they could discuss it in person and work out how to get them to Mt. Battle. They weren't too happy about this, since it would mean traveling in the wrong direction for several days, but they agreed to meet him in his hideout at Sharpedo Cape.

The next morning, they had said their farewells to Michael and the Caretakers and left the Mystifying Forest for Treasure Town. They were able to take a shortcut back to the dreadful city by heading southwest and using a ferry to cross a large inlet that dropped them off on a beach a few miles to the north of Treasure Town. (The ferrymon quite reasonably didn't want to go too close to that place, and seemed to think that they were dooming themselves by going there. Ash and Pikachu couldn't help admitting he might have had a point.) They headed west along the coast until they reached Sharpedo Cape, where they were warmly welcomed by Tracey and the Professor before being spirited down into the book-filled depths of the hollowed-out cliff.

Tracey and Leo, longtime online friends, had been both excited and rather disappointed to meet in real life, since they both failed to live up to the other's expectations based on how they had described themselves in chats, games, and private conversations. "I thought you'd be more muscular," Leo told Tracey.

"I thought you'd be taller," Tracey told Leo.

Despite their deficits, they quickly got over their disappointments and eagerly chatted in geek-speak over dinner while Oak interrogated Ash and Pikachu about their adventure in the Tree, prying for more details than they had given him during their earlier conversation, and scribbling as much of it as he could down since Tracey was currently too busy talking to be earning his living. He seemed especially troubled by their descriptions of Tarantulas and the horrors he and Chobin perpetrated, and questioned them the hardest about these two villains. Eventually, however, he ran out of things to ask them, and was pressed to answer the question he had been evading all evening. And so, with great unhappiness, he agreed to tell them of his past with Doctor Tarantulas.

"It all began many years ago," he said finally. "Back when I was a Slowpoke, and a freshman at Pokemon University. I had left my home and family in the Orange Islands behind and traveled to the mainland to obtain a greater education. I managed to obtain a room on campus, though I had to share it with two roommates—housing back then, as it is now, was tremendously expensive, so we had to shoulder the cost together." Tracey nodded sympathetically, recalling his own problems getting housing in his freshman year.

"Let me guess: these roommates of yours were Tarantulas and Chobin?" Leo guessed.

Oak shook his head. "You're half right. One of them was indeed Tarantulas…or as I knew him back then, Tomaru."

Leo snickered. "Heheh…Tarantulas' first name is Tomaru!"

"Was he a Spinarak back then?" Ash asked.

Oak nodded. "He was, and a rather measly one at that. He had been born in the wild with several birth defects, and missing a limb or two, so his mother decided to eat him. He managed to escape and made it to civilization, where he learned of the wonders of science and sought, like myself, to acquire as much knowledge as he possibly could."

"Defects? Missing limbs? Could that be why the Tarantulas we saw was mostly made of metal?" Ash wondered.

Oak winced. "That's…part of the reason, yes…"

"And who was your other roommate, if not Chobin?" Pikachu asked.

"A somewhat absent-minded—though brilliant—Nuzleaf named Emile Kaminko," Oak told them. "He and I became fast friends, and we managed to add the solitary and somewhat mistrustful Tomaru to our ring of friends when Emile constructed some mechanical limbs and artificial organs to replace the defective parts of Tomaru's body, removing a great deal of the pain that he had been forced to deal with all his life."

"So it's Kaminko's fault that he's a cyborg?" Leo asked.

"Like I said, that's PART of the reason," Oak reminded them. "May I continue? Anyway, the three of us became pretty tight, partly because we had overlapping interests. I mainly focused on archaeology and Pokemonology, since I was fascinated by the history of our planet and the lost relationship between our kind and humans from long ago, as well as better understanding how the myriad species of Pokemon in our world live and breed and function in both wild and civilized societies. I also took some art on the side, which is how I became such a good poet!" Leo snickered, but Tracey and Pikachu glared at him, and he quieted. "Kaminko, on the other hand, was more interested in the sciences, especially robotics, computers…basically, anything involving machines. He wanted to make the world a better place through the power of technology!"

"Something I'm pretty sure most barbarians and 'all-natural' Pokemon would disagree with," Pikachu commented.

Oak nodded in agreement. "Indeed. In fact, his pro-technology beliefs earned him more than a few enemies on campus among those who thought that Pokemon should exist in a simpler, 'natural' lifestyle."

"Despite all the awesome benefits they'd be passing up by sticking to dirt and grass. Like the Internet," said Leo. "Man, I don't know what I'd do without that!"

"Same here," Tracey agreed.

"So that's you and Kaminko. What about Tarantulas?" Ash asked.

Oak paused and grimaced. "Tarantulas…he studied many of the same things we did. He looked into Pokemonology, sociology, psychology, and a bit of theology on the side to understand how Pokemon lived and why they did the things they did, and why Arceus might have wanted them to exist that way…or, on a more personal level, why Arceus had evidently chosen him to be born the way he was. He researched cybernetics so he could understand the machines Kaminko had put into him, and eventually make his own when necessary. He also looked into biology to understand how the Pokemon body worked."

"He learned how it worked, all right…" Ash said darkly, recalling all the dissected corpses and abominations they had seen in Tarantulas' lab.

"And the machines, too," Pikachu said, thinking of how mechanical most of the Ariados' body had been, the armies of robot spiders he had somehow managed to produce, and the Robo-Groudon prototype Ash and Leo had told him about.

"He…didn't originally plan to do evil with the things he learned," Oak said a little weakly, trying to defend the memory of an old friend. "Like all of us, he wanted to make the world a better place, as hard as that may be to believe."

They stared at him dubiously. "You're kidding, right?" Ash asked.

"You sure we're talking about the same Tarantulas?" Leo asked doubtfully.

"I can't imagine the madmon we saw doing anything but trying to make the world a _worse_ place!" Pikachu agreed.

"Neither can I, to be honest," Oak admitted reluctantly. "There are times when I still find it hard to believe that the Tomaru I knew could become such a monster…but I digress. Like I said, we all wanted to make the world a better place. I believed that by understanding the past, we could control the future. Emile thought that science and technology could improve every aspect of our world. And Tarantulas…like I said, he was born in the wild, and was nearly devoured by his own mother. He was troubled by the fact that so many Pokemon chose to live in the lawless lands outside of civilization, and didn't understand why so few of them chose to acknowledge the myriad benefits that they could obtain if they simply gave up their outdated and savage ways and joined the rest of the modern world. He was also disgusted by the sheer depths of evil and depravity that so many Pokemon seemed capable of. He became a master in the fields of study he chose not merely because they interested him, but because he felt that they would allow him to understand the very nature of good and evil itself. What drove some Pokemon to harm their fellows, while others—like the Rescue Team you boys are a part of--choose to save Pokemon in need? What causes some Pokemon to live in peace with their neighbors, while others form barbarian hordes that ravage the countryside and kill, enslave, and rape countless innocents? What causes some families to turn on and devour one of their own for the slightest sign of weakness, while others do their best to help their disadvantaged members? And, of course, why would Arceus—whom we know exists—allow such things to occur, if He is truly the loving deity we are always told that He is? Tarantulas thought that if he looked hard enough, he could find the source of evil—or at least, the _potential_ to commit evil—within the Pokemon heart, he could remove it, and eliminate all evil and hatred and cruelty from our world forever!"

"A noble goal," said the impressed Pikachu.

"Yeah, except it went horribly wrong," Leo groaned. "Don't tell me, he got so obsessed with studying evil that he _became_ evil and decided that evil was the heart's true nature, so instead of eradicating it he became dedicated to spreading evil wherever he went?"

Oak gave Leo an incredulous look. "What?! How-how did you…"

"Pssh, heard it before," Leo said with a dismissive wave.

"Yeah, in the Empire Souls series," Tracey agreed.

The other three Pokemon stared at them blankly. "The what now?" Pikachu asked, knowing he was going to regret this.

"You know, Empire Souls!" said Leo.

"The much-acclaimed video game series made by Dizzy and Circle-Enoch, where characters from both their companies mingle and interact in various different worlds based on their individual franchises!" Tracey added.

Pikachu blinked. "Dizzy? I thought they just made movies. The kind that my little brother makes us watch over…and over…and over…"

"And which I don't like! At all!" Ash lied.

"They make movies, and other stuff too," Tracey said.

"Like theme parks," Leo said. "And toys. And weapons of mass destruction."

"Ah…what does this game have to do with anything?" asked the confused Oak.

"In Empire Souls, there's this wise king/scientist guy named Mensa, who studies the darkness in Pokemon and human souls in an attempt to eradicate it from his kingdom, despite the warnings of his friend and fellow King, Rickey Raticate," Leo explained.

"Wait, Rickey's a king?" asked the incredulous Ash. "I thought he was just some cartoon mouse—er, Raticate—who owned a clubhouse or something."

"Oh, Rickey does a bit of everything," Tracey said. "He's been around."

"Mensa got so obsessed with darkness that he became convinced that it was the soul's true essence and began abducting people and amplifying their darkness to turn them into horrible creatures called Soulless! Which is actually a bit of a misnomer, since they _do_ have souls that just happen to be buried deep in darkness, but whatever," said Leo.

"He destroyed his own world, and countless others!" said Tracey. "But he got stopped by the human hero Sky, chosen wielder of the Keything, and his friends Goofy Growlithe and Donald Psyduck!"

"Aren't those other cartoon characters?" asked Pikachu. "And friends of Rickey?"

"In the world of Empire Souls, they're Rickey's knight captain and court wizard, respectively," Leo said.

Oak coughed. "Uh, that's all very well and good, but-"

"But even though Sky and his friends stopped Mensa, it turned out that it _hadn't_ been Mensa after all but his evil apprentice Xoonuls, who banished the real Mensa and took his name and power!" Tracey continued.

"And they had only beaten Xoonuls' Soulless, but another piece of him remained called Xamsen, who formed a group called Orgy XIII that-" Leo started.

Pikachu cut him off. "What does any of this have to do with anything?!" he snapped.

Leo blinked. "Uh, well, nothing, I guess. It's just a neat story."

"Yeah!" Tracey agreed. The others sweatdropped.

"Well, I'm happy to say…well, come to think of it, I suppose what happened _was_ a little like that. But only a little," said Oak. "After we graduated and got our doctorates, we decided to go out into the world and try to use our knowledge to help people. We agreed that we would keep in touch, and in two decades' time return to Pokemon U to teach what we had learned to the next generation. We each set out on our respective journeys.

"It wasn't long before I made a name for myself in the fields of archaeology, Pokemonology, and poetry. I discovered numerous ancient ruins that helped me to gain a better understanding of our ancestors and formulate several theories about our late human friends…theories that many of the books in this library have confirmed, much to my delight! I wrote quite a few books on my findings, published several field studies on the behaviors of Pokemon tribes who chose to seclude themselves far from the civilized world, and wrote a few haikus on the side. I also got bitten on the head by my spiky friend here and evolved into a Slowking, becoming even more intelligent in the process!" Oak said proudly. "While I made a success of myself, Emile became a respected name in his field as well, and developed and improved upon several of the modern conveniences we use today." He frowned. "Tomaru, on the other hand…vanished without a trace only a few years after leaving the university. Emile and I tried to find him, but to no avail, he seemed to have disappeared off the face of the Earth. We eventually were forced to conclude that he must have died in his attempts to understand the nature of evil—for to do so he would have had to explore some very dark and dangerous places—and became a victim, like so many other adventurous researchers, of his own topic of study. We lamented his presumed demise, but eventually got on with our lives."

Leo tsked and shook his head. "Big mistake…you gave up on him too quickly!"

"Too right," Oak agreed sadly. "When Kaminko and I reunited at Pokemon U on the promised date, we were astonished to find that Tomaru was already waiting for us. And he had…changed. He had evolved into an Ariados, and more of his body was machinery than it had been before, which he told us were…consequences of some of his journeys, though he seemed unwilling to elaborate on where he had been all this time or how he had lost so much of his original body. He just said that he had been many places and seen many things and his 'eyes were opened' or something like that. Although he talked to us like old friends, something about his manner seemed different, somewhat colder…but we attributed it to whatever he had done over the last two decades that he didn't want to talk about. We should have pried, but…well; the both of us had changed too. These things happen when you grow up."

"Unfortunately," Leo said sadly.

"Yeah," Tracey agreed.

"Growing up's not that bad," said Ash.

"Ash, you don't even remember your childhood, how would you know?" Pikachu asked.

"Uh…" Ash had no reply.

"With our experience and credentials, we were easily able to get teaching positions at the University," Oak continued. "I lectured on Pokemonology and archaeology (and formed a little poetry club on the side), while Emile wound up in charge of most of the technological sciences and Tomaru wove a web around the biology, psychology, and robotics courses. I had spent the last two decades traveling the world, and it was oddly relaxing to sit back and tell my students about the things I had done rather than going out and doing them for a change." He frowned. "However, while I thoroughly enjoyed my classes, and my students loved me, my best friends…were having difficulties."

"What kind of difficulties?" Pikachu asked.

"Tomaru was brilliant, but the way he moved and many of the subjects he discussed in class gave his students nightmares. As for Emile, he was a good teacher and his students liked him, but they had complaints about a certain…aspect of his lessons," said Oak. "During the twenty years we were apart, Emile's brother and his wife died, and as the closest relative he was forced to take in and raise their only son. This wouldn't have been so bad except for one thing…their son was the reason they were dead. He had brutally mutilated them, raped both of them, and eaten them…while they were still alive."

The four listeners gasped. "How awful!" Pikachu said.

"Ewwww," said a disgusted Tracey.

"Why does that MO sound oddly familiar?" wondered Ash.

"Wait, don't tell me!" Leo cried. "Your friend's brother's kid…he was Chobin, wasn't he? He has to be!"

Oak nodded. "Right again," he said sadly.

The others were stunned. "That psycho's your friend Kaminko's nephew?!" asked the shocked Ash.

"I never knew Kaminko had a family that messed up!" said the alarmed Tracey. "I mean, I heard you guys were friends, but…this is the first time I've heard any of this!"

"It's not something they, the university, or I like to talk about," Oak said unhappily. "You see, Chobin had always been a somewhat…troubled child. He liked to hurt things ever since he had been a little Sunkern. His parents took him to psychiatrists, put him on medications and in special classes, but…well, none of it really seemed to work. And finally, he snapped and brutally killed them."

"I'd say 'troubled' is an understatement here," Leo said flatly.

"The courts considered putting him to death or locking him up, but he was still so young…and his family protested. They had deep roots in the community," Oak said, causing the others to groan at the horrible pun. "They used the insanity defense and tried to use a Psychic to mentally alter Chobin's mind to make him saner, but whatever she saw in his head was so horrible that apparently she killed herself, the poor dear." They grimaced at that thought. "So they put him on a new set of experimental drugs that they hoped would curb his psychotic urges. And then they dumped him on Emile, his closest blood relative, because while they didn't want him dead, they didn't exactly want him living in their backyard, if you know what I mean."

Leo snorted. "Typical."

"My family would never do something like that," Pikachu said proudly.

"What about your great-great uncle Jerome?" Ash asked.

"He went to the dark side, what were we supposed to do?" Pikahu asked defensively.

"How did Chobin become Doctor Tarantulas' assistant, if he was under Kaminko's care?" Tracey asked.

"I'm getting to that. On the drugs, Chobin was stable, if not…well…somewhat unemotional," Oak said. "Emile had no choice but to bring him to the university as an assistant for his classes, since he was too stingy to get a babysitter or a TA. The students complained, since Chobin's blank stare creeped them out—as well as his past as a murderer—but Emile was adamant that Chobin stay, since he was family. The University wasn't happy, but acquiesced, so long as Chobin kept taking his meds and Emile took responsibility for anything…wrong Chobin did. And for a while, it seemed to work.

"However, Chobin constantly complained of being depressed and feeling stifled on the drugs, like his head was full of cotton. So they gave him drugs for that, too, but that only made things worse, so…" Oak shrugged. "One day Tomaru offered to give Chobin some counseling. Emile was doubtful that Tomaru would be any better than the other psychiatrists who had tried to examine Chobin—quite a few of them had gone insane!—but Tomaru asserted that none of them had the same experience with evil and madness that he had had during his twenty years' sojourn. He believed that he could find the cause of Chobin's madness and neutralize it. Wanting his nephew to be a happy and normal member of society—and a useful assistant—Emile agreed, and Chobin started having weekly sessions with Tomaru."

"Uh-oh," they all said.

Oak nodded. "Precisely, that turned out to be the worst thing Emile could have done, though none of us knew it at the time. It looked at first as if whatever Tomaru was doing to Chobin was working. He seemed much happier and enthusiastic, and was smiling again. Emile rejoiced and heaped great praises and thanks upon Tomaru, who humbly said it was no big deal. And again, for a time it seemed as if everything would be fine.

"And then the disappearances started."

"That's never good…" muttered Leo.

"What kind of 'disappearances?'" Pikachu asked.

"Students vanished on their way to classes or back to their dorms and were never seen again. Some of the service staff and faculty disappeared as well. Pokemon started to panic, and the school board tried to quickly clamp down on the problem before it got too big—and before the parents of their students complained and possibly caused them to get shut down! They stepped up security significantly, and had hired guards escort Pokemon around campus in groups…but then people started vanishing while in the safety of their own bedrooms, and fear and paranoia reached their peak. Rumors started flying about of some supernatural terror, of a serial killer lurking in the shadows, of servants of Giratina abducting Pokemon for blood rituals or of slavers kidnapping them to sell on the black market. And then, inevitably, someone accused Chobin, who, as a former killer, was naturally a prime suspect. Emile vehemently denied any possible connection Chobin had with the disappearances, claiming that he had been completely reformed for quite some time now…but within his heart, a seed of doubt took hold, and he started watching his nephew's comings and goings more carefully to see if he did, indeed, have some part to play in what was going on." Oak sighed. "And that's when he discovered that Chobin had not been taking his medication for a very, very long time…"

"_Definitely_ not a good sign," Ash said.

Pikachu nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I remember one time Joy prescribed some meds to lessen Pichu's hyperactivity, and he seemed fine for a while, but then he decided to stop taking them, and he got _worse_…"

"What happened next, Professor?" Tracey asked eagerly, feeling like they were listening to a scary story around a campfire rather than hearing a tale of woe and broken friendships at a cozy dinner table in a warm, well-lit library.

Oak shook his head sadly. "Emile made the biggest mistake of his life. He decided, rather than telling the authorities, he would confront Chobin directly and find out for himself whether or not he was responsible for the disappearances."

They all groaned. "What an idiot! No offense, sir, but everyone knows that's an incredibly stupid thing to do!" Leo said.

"Not necessarily, Kaminko clearly had enough faith in Chobin that he wanted to find out the truth on his own rather than bring in the university security. After all, if it turned out he was wrong and Chobin _wasn't_ involved, then whatever progress Chobin might have made towards becoming a better person could be broken by the apparent betrayal from his uncle," Pikachu said.

"Yeah, but Chobin _was_ involved, wasn't he?" Leo asked Oak. "So it would've been the right thing to do, wouldn't it?"

Oak nodded. "Yes. Naturally, Chobin was indeed responsible, as was…but I'm getting ahead of myself. While Emile did not alert the authorities, he confided in me, as his best friend, about his concerns about his nephew and what he planned to do. He told me not to tell anyone, not even Tomaru, unless something went wrong and he did not return. Naturally, I told him this was an awful idea and tried to convince him to go to the campus security with his suspicions, but he swore me to silence before departing." He closed his eyes wearily. "That was the last time I saw him alive. And soon after he left, both he _and_ Chobin disappeared, which only made it that much clearer to me that Chobin had been the kidnapper all along."

"Well, duh," said Leo. Pikachu bopped him.

"Desperate to find Emile, I broke my promise and asked Tomaru for help. He had been having sessions with Chobin for so long, I figured that Chobin might have slipped and told him something. Naturally, Tomaru refused on the grounds of doctor-patient confidentiality, but when I told him of Emile's suspicions over a round of warm drinks, of Chobin quitting his meds, and of both of them disappearing, he gave in and told me that Chobin _had_ been acting a little unusual as of late, but he hadn't thought much of it. He then recalled that Chobin had also been talking a lot about a private hideaway he had made in the basement of one of the older, condemned dormitories on the edge of campus, a place he went to when he wanted to be alone, and surmised that perhaps that was where Chobin had gone with Emile and his other victims. Again I suggested we contact the authorities, but Tomaru disagreed, saying that if Chobin was truly as unstable as we now believed him to be, bringing in the entire security force could cause him to panic and kill Emile and any hostages he had, assuming they were still alive. He convinced me that it would probably be best if we went alone, since Chobin knew us both fairly well (well, he knew Tomaru as his therapist, and me as one of his uncle's friends), so might be less likely to do anything foolish if it was just the two of us who confronted him. Reluctantly, I agreed, and we headed for Chobin's hideout…alone," the Professor said.

"Oh man! What were you thinking?!" the incredulous Leo cried.

Tracey nodded in agreement. "I mean, yeah! It was obviously a trap, sir! Anyone could see it coming from a mile away!"

"Even Ash!" Pikachu agreed.

"Yeah!" Ash paused. "…HEY!"

"We went to the dormitory and descended into the depths," Oak continued. "It was dark, for the power to the building had been cut a while ago, but Tomaru had installed some lights into his cyborg body so that we could find our way into the basement. We almost didn't need them, though…the smell of blood was so strong that any Pokemon could find their way, no matter how poor their nose was." He closed his eyes, steeling himself as he dredged up the next unhappy memory. "The basement was…like something out of a horror movie. It was like some mix between a standard mad scientist's laboratory and…and a slaughterhouse. Blood was splattered all over the place, and there were dissected bodies lying on tables and skinned corpses and hunks of flesh dangling from the ceiling. Cages lined the back wall of the room, and each of them contained a missing student or janitor or member of the faculty…but all of them were snarling and foaming at the mouth and acting like feral beasts rather than civilized Pokemon! There was something thoroughly _wrong_ about them." Oak shuddered. "I did not know it then, but those were the first Shadow Pokemon that I ever laid eyes on, and afterwards I hoped I would never see them again. Considering the majority of the Pokemon in the Nihilators' employ are Shadow Pokemon, however, it looks like that hope was not recognized."

"Was Emile in one of the cages?" Ash asked quietly.

Oak shook his head. "No, he was one of the corpses on the tables…and he was being molested by Chobin, his face a twisted mask of glee as he raped his uncle's dead body."

"_That's_ an image I wish I could unthink," said the disgusted Leo.

"I ran into the room, shouting at Chobin and demanding he stop at once…and so did not notice Tomaru closing and locking the door behind us until it was too late and he spat some webbing at me from behind, pinning me to the ground in a spun-metal net. As I tried to break free, he calmly came over and explained to me how he had been behind everything all along. How the instant he and Chobin had their first session, he knew the sort of hidden evil buried in the Sunflora's mind, and coveted it for himself. How he had convinced Chobin to stop taking his medication so that he could express himself and be the horrible rampaging monster he was always destined to become. How, by freeing Chobin's true self, he had earned the Grass-type's eternal loyalty and used him to abduct people from all over the University for his diabolical experiments…or just to kill for the fun of it!" Oak said.

They gasped. "Called it," said Leo.

"What a bastard!" said Tracey.

"But wait, I thought he wanted to rid the world of evil. Why was he doing crap like this, then?" Ash asked.

"I asked him the same thing!" said Oak. "He laughed in my face and told me how, when he had left the University all those years ago, he had searched the world to try and better understand the nature of good and evil. But wherever he went, no matter how good a place seemed, he couldn't help finding unspeakable corruption and evil underneath it all. He looked and he looked and he looked, but he always found more evil than good, even in the hearts of the most promising individuals, even in the seminary. He had eventually given up on trying, and concluded that his previous hypothesis had been wrong: that evil, or the potential for it, wasn't caused by a flaw or seed within Pokemon hearts, but was in fact the true essence of all things, and it was _goodness_ that was foreign and unnatural! This started to make all too much sense to him, for if Arceus had created Pokemon with the potential for evil, then didn't that mean that He expected, no, _demanded_ that we degenerate into villainy?" Pikachu growled angrily at such a blasphemy, wholeheartedly believing that Arceus had had no such intentions when He had created mortals to be inherently flawed. "And if that was the case, then why should people bother trying to be good and restraining their true evil? Why shouldn't everyone express themselves however they pleased, and stop trying to consider other people's feelings or pretend that they held themselves to some higher moral code, since most of them would be perfectly willing to break it anyway if they really wanted to? Why bother being hypocrites and playing at goodness when evil was what all of us really desired, deep down?"

"…Whoa. That's some crazy shit there," said Leo.

Pikachu shook his head pityingly. "He didn't realize that if you set out to search for evil, then that's what you'll find. Like many things in life, its only there if you look for it."

"He told me, in gleeful detail, how in his travels he had stumbled upon the lost records of the extinct Dark Ones, the cursed order of Aura Guardians who had embraced a similar philosophy and endeavored to nurture the darkness in Pokemon hearts and fill the world with evil until they were destroyed by their more righteous brethren," Oak said, causing Ash to gasp in astonishment. "Using the information they had left behind, he decided to complete their mission by using modern science to recreate the method by which they had turned innocent people into Shadow Pokemon in those ancient days!"

"Hence why he'd been abducting people," whispered the amazed Tracey. "To try and perfect the process! Considering how many Nihilators are Shadow Pokemon, he must have eventually figured it out."

Leo smirked. "Ha! I totally called it! Almost exactly like Empire Souls! And every other mad scientist story, I suppose…"

Pikachu frowned. "Why was he telling you all of this rather than just killing you?"

"I asked him the same thing," said Oak. "He told me that the poison he had put in my glass back at his office should kill me any minute, and he thought it only fair that he tell me what was going on before I died. He felt he owed it to me, since we were old friends."

"Oooh," said Tracey.

"Since you're clearly not dead, the poison must not have worked," Ash said. "How did you escape?"

At this, Oak smiled. "I was craftier than he gave me credit for. You see, I realized what poor Emile, blinded by his love for his nephew and his friendship with Tomaru, had not: that the time Chobin stopped taking his medication coincided with his earliest sessions with Tomaru! I realized there had to be a connection, alerted campus security, and worked out a 'sting' operation by which we could trick Tomaru into leading us to where he was hiding Chobin and his victims. As a safety precaution, knowing that Tomaru was a Poison-type who still had quite lethal venom in spite of his partially mechanical nature, I imbibed an Antidote before heading over to meet him so that if he tried anything, my body would be immune to it. And that's why I was still alive when, moments later; the security team burst into the lab and attempted to apprehend Chobin and Tomaru."

"Awesome!" Tracey said.

"Dude, that's brilliant! Hmm, maybe I should start taking Antidotes regularly for emergencies like that…" Leo said.

"I take it that it wasn't as easy as all that, though, was it?" Pikachu asked.

Oak shook his head sadly. "No, things got very chaotic. Realizing he had been deceived, Tomaru released his creations from their cages and ordered them to attack the guards while he and Chobin made their getaway. While the team was engaged in fighting for their lives, I managed to free myself from his webbing by blasting it apart (with great difficulty) using Psychic force and chased after them. Unfortunately, in the struggle some volatile chemicals were knocked over and some dangerous machines were destroyed, and everything caught on fire and started exploding. The security force grabbed me and dragged me out of there just before the whole place collapsed, crushing the poor tortured souls Tomaru and Chobin had experimented on and completely destroying his laboratory and all his research. Of the madmen themselves, we could find no more than a couple of broken metal legs and some scorched petals. It was thought there was no way that they could possibly have survived." Leo and Tracey both snorted, knowing that whenever someone thought someone else couldn't possibly have survived that meant without a doubt that they HAD, especially if a body was never found. "I lamented the deaths of all those poor innocents the duo had killed…and I mourned for the loss of my dear friends as well, for even if, unlikely as it seemed, Tomaru had survived, the Spinarak I called 'friend' had clearly died long ago. The university gave me tenure and a generous pension if I agreed to keep quiet about the whole thing. The building collapse was blamed on faulty construction, and the case was declared closed, the disappearances explained away as being caused by random barbarians who were all too happy to take credit for what happened, since the truth about what _really_ happened might have gotten the University shut down permanently. Deceptive, perhaps, but a necessity." He sighed. "From that day forward, I heard nothing more of Chobin or Tomaru Tarantulas…until now."

The other four Pokemon said nothing for a moment as they absorbed Oak's tale. "Well, that certainly explains a lot…" Pikachu murmured.

"You ruled their deaths out too quickly," Leo lectured Oak. "Considering that they not only survived, but joined a group that's perfectly happy to give them the resources they need to fulfill their twisted dreams!"

"How was I to know they were still out there?" Oak asked. "Even if I had, what could I have done? I didn't even know these Nihilators existed until very recently, same as you!"

"While all this tells us a bit about what we're up against, it still doesn't really get us much closer to finding where the Nihilators and the other Star Badges are located," said Ash. _Or why I had such a strange reaction when I met their leader…_

"Or what it is they're really after," Pikachu pointed out. "We know they need the map to find the Seven Star Badges, and the Star Badges to open the door beneath this city, and that doing so will somehow destroy the world. But we still don't know how it'll do that, or why they even want to destroy the world in the first place!"

"Because they're omnicidal maniacs and Nietzche wannabes with similar viewpoints on the world to Tarantulas?" Leo suggested.

"Or maybe they're just doing it for the hell of it," said Tracey.

"I'm afraid I have little to offer on that front, too," Oak apologized. "We haven't been able to translate the carvings I found near the door, not yet anyway. I have also been unable to figure out more about the Nihilator's origins or intentions, or whether or not they have any connection to this 'Annihilation' group Ash keeps seeing in his flashbacks of his home universe." He grinned. "We _have_, however, made some headway on the next Star Badge, based on where you said the map indicated it was. Tracey?"

"After you told us it was at Giant Volcano, I did some research into it and the Mt. Battle arena," Tracey said, taking out his laptop and turning it to show the others a picture of an Espeon wearing a belt with a golden star-shaped jewel set on its buckle. "And I think I've found the Star Badge. This is-"

"Wes Psyche, champion of Mt. Battle!" Leo cried excitedly, recognizing the Espeon at once. "I'm a huge fan of that guy! I never miss watching one of his fights!"

"That belt…is that…" Ash asked, leaning over to look at the picture.

"The third Star Badge? We believe so," Oak said with a nod.

Pikachu frowned. "That's odd…if the star is displayed so prominently where everyone can see it, why haven't the Nihilators taken it already?"

"They might not know about it, or they might think it's not a Star Badge," Tracey said "After all, there's lots of star-shaped jewels all over the world, some with magic and others that don't, so they might have mistaken this thing for a different star."

"Or maybe that _isn't_ the real one at all, but a phony, and the real one is somewhere else in the arena…" Leo said thoughtfully.

"Regardless, to get that third Star Badge you're going to need to go to Mt. Battle to find it," Oak said. "If the star on the belt is in fact the third Star, we've determined that the best way for you to get it is to enter the upcoming tournament at the arena as a fighting team and battle your way up through the various ranked combatants and somehow defeat Wes Psyche, because that there is the Champion's Belt, which only the top-ranked fighter in Mt. Battle is allowed to wear! If you manage to beat him, you'll win the belt and with it—we hope—the Star Badge."

"So we just need to crack a few skulls rather than going out in the wild and fighting our way through a dungeon for a change?" asked the relieved Ash. "Sound good to me. I'm always up for a fight!"

"I dunno, Ash…I've seen most of tourney regulars in action. They're pretty tough! Especially Wes. He's defeated countless opponents several times his size, and it won't help that he has a serious type advantage over you!" Leo pointed out.

"That's never stopped me before," Ash said unworriedly.

Pikachu frowned. "Aren't we being a little quick on our feet here? What if, as we've already theorized, the star on that belt isn't the third Star Badge? And isn't it a little convenient that there just happens to be a tournament when we need one?"

"Not really, they have tournaments every few months," Tracey said. "They're pretty common because the regular fighters are so popular and everyone loves to see them go at it. Fighting's a spectator sport, after all!"

"And besides, _every_ adventure has to have a tournament arc. It's inevitable!" Leo said.

"And even if the Star on the belt is a fake, then you should still fight in the arena," Oak said. "We already know that it's somewhere in Giant Volcano, and if you become official fighters in the tournament you'll gain access to areas unavailable to the general public. If the Star's not on the belt, then it's a sure bet it's in one of those hard-to-reach places!"

"Hmm…I suppose you have a point," Pikachu admitted. "I'm just not fond of senseless fighting, unlike Ash."

"Hey, he's a hot-blooded Fighting Pokemon, he can't help it!" said Leo.

"Yeah!" Ash agreed. "Wait, were you complimenting or insulting me?"

"So, how do we go about joining this tournament?" Pikachu asked Oak.

"You'll need to have a face-to-face interview with the owner of Mt. Battle, an aging Blaziken former champion by the name of Busamo Ford. I'd arrange a teleconference, but he likes to do some things the old-fashioned way," Oak said apologetically. "He only accepts candidates who he senses have a certain 'fighting spirit,' but none of you should have a problem with that. Well, except possibly for Leo…"

"Hey!" Leo shouted.

"That's the easy part, though. Getting there is a whole other problem," said Tracey. "Especially since the tournament starts in a few days and, while there's a ferry that goes out to Giant Volcano at the northwestern tip of Sinnorre, there's no way you can make it there in time!"

Pikachu's eye twitched. "Then why didn't you tell us all of this over Leo's computer, so that we could have started heading in that direction from the Mystifying Forest and reached the volcano before it was too late?!"

"Because if you're going to enter the tournament, you can't possibly do it as you are now!" Oak said. "Think about it! As Leo and Tracey can both attest to, Mt. Battle tournaments are extremely popular and watched by people all over the world, probably including the Nihilators! They already know who you are thanks to your run-in with them at the Tree of Beginning. If any of them who happen to be fans are watching the tournament and notice a team of Lucario, Pikachu, and Squirtle fighting for the grand prize, it'll tip them off that that's where the next Star Badge is!"

Ash and Pikachu grimaced. They had not thought of that. "No problem, we'll just go in disguise, then," Leo said. "I have a disguise kit!"

"You do? Why?" Pikachu asked.

"For just such an occasion, obviously!" Leo said.

Tracey smirked. "No matter how good a disguise kit you might have, I doubt it'll be as good as anything that I can come up with! I _am_ a Smeargle, after all, painting things and making them look different is what we do best!"

Leo frowned. "Yeah? We'll see about that…"

"So you called us all the way here just to give us disguises?" Pikachu asked skeptically.

"No, we also brought you here to give you fake IDs, coach you on the roles you'll need to play during the interview and in the ring, and prep you for the kinds of guys you'll probably be fighting," Oak said.

"Oh," said Pikachu. "Wait, you couldn't have done that over the Internet?'

"No," said Oak.

"The fake IDs were only available from this one guy in town," Tracey explained. "You have _no idea_ what I had to go through to get them. There's no way we could have gotten them to you if you had headed for the arena on foot and boat, so we needed you to come back here to pick them up."

"Okay, but that still leaves us with one small problem: how are we supposed to reach the mountain in time to join the tournament before it starts?!" Pikachu asked.

"Oh, we thought of that too," Oak reassured them.

Tracey nodded. "There's an airfield several miles to the east of here that's used by airships from all over the continent as a refueling spot, a transfer point, and a place where people can catch flights to other places in Sinnorre or around the world. There just happens to be an airline that flies to Mt. Battle and nowhere else which leaves from that airfield. If you can get a ride on that ship, you'll make it to Giant Volcano in no time!"

"Oh, cool! We're gonna fly in an airship?! Awesome!" Leo cried. He smirked at his teammates. "See, I _told_ you we were gonna get to ride one eventually!"

"There's just one problem," Oak said. "The tickets are extremely expensive."

"How expensive?" Ash asked. "We have a bit of money on us."

Oak told them. Leo fainted, Ash's jaw dropped, and Pikachu said several very foul and uncharacteristic curse words that his parents would have smacked him for reciting. "I…don't think that's in our price range," Ash said weakly.

"Maybe we could sneak on board? Hide in the luggage?" Leo suggested as he came to.

Tracey shook his head. "Most of these airlines have a habit of throwing out any stowaways they catch…in midair. Without parachutes."

Leo blanched. "Ah. Never mind, then."

"There's no way we can possibly afford those tickets!" Pikachu said in dismay.

"What're we going to do now?" Ash moaned.

Oak bit his lip. "Weeeell…there's _one_ way you can get tickets…"

"And it's the final reason we asked you to come back to town," said Tracey.

"You're not going to like it, though," Oak said.

"Try us," Ash challenged.

He did. And the Slowking was right, they didn't like it. But they didn't really have a choice in the matter, so there was nothing else they could do but go along with it.

They probably would have felt better about the plan if Leo didn't seem so _excited_ about what they were doing for some reason… "This is gonna be so _cool!_" he exulted.

…

"This is so not cool," Leo whispered, face pale with horror. "What…what kind of place is this? How can someplace this awful exist?"

"We ask ourselves the same thing all the time," Ash murmured in reply.

Team Aurabolt was currently walking through Treasure Town. It was Leo's first time in the wretched town, and so far he wasn't enjoying it. He'd seen tons of dystopias in anime and video games, but seeing one in real life was much worse than he had imagined. Garbage was everywhere. There were no windows that weren't broken, and people were often trying to kill each other or play games with the broken glass. Some buildings were actually on _fire_ and nobody was bothering to help the screaming people inside. In fact, it looked like they were waiting for the place to finish burning down so they could loot it! Other Pokemon were getting beaten, robbed, murdered, and raped right on the streets and no passerby seemed to give a crap about it. Some even joined in. The omnipresent air of despair and hatred crushed down on them like an oppressive mattress of negativity, squashing out all hope and kindness and leaving nothing but a bleak apathy in its place.

And it smelled really bad, too. Turtle Town had been far from the best place to live back when Tiama was terrorizing them, but at least they'd bothered to keep it nice and clean, even if only to feel like they had control over some part of their lives. "Isn't there anything we can do for these people?" Leo asked, watching in morbid fascination as a pack of giggling toddlers toppled an enormous Likitung to the ground, proceeded to stab it to death, and cut out its tongue to use as a jumprope.

"Things here are more complicated than they seem," Pikachu said. "If we intervene, we'll only get ourselves into trouble and draw attention. Besides, it'd break our cover."

The trio was currently in disguise for their jaunt into town. Oak had told them that the Nihilators and their minions among the townsfolk were stepping up their efforts to find him and Tracey, and since they knew by now that Team Aurabolt was affiliated with them, were keeping an eye out for any suspicious Squirtle, Pikachu, or Lucario as well. To complete their present mission incognito, Tracey and Leo had combined their disguise kits and artistic skills to create convincing camouflage for the Rescue Team. Leo's skin had been painted red and his shell black with red spots and cracks, and he had pulled his tail into his shell and was walking on all fours to look like a Torkoal. He also had several fake gold chains draped around his neck, rub-on tattoos, rings, gang signs, a fake Mohawk, and other bling along with his trademark shades to look 'gangsta.' Pikachu had reluctantly had his tail contorted and painted red to look like a crimson plus sign, his ear tips capped in red, and had yellow plus signs painted over the kanji on his cheeks so he looked like a Plusle. (He had been assured it would wash right out.) He had been forced to leave his sword behind, much to his displeasure, since it was a rather distinctive weapon. Ash was down on all fours, had the spikes on his knuckles and chest covered by bandages, and allowed his fur to be painted gray and black so he would look like a Mightyena. He wore a blindfold over his eyes so he'd have the appearance of a blind mon, and submitted to wearing a leash held by Pikachu so it would look as if the mouse was guiding him. Not only would this make him seem like less of a threat, but it would allow him to constantly scan the area with Aura-sight and watch out for potential threats. It also gave him a disgustingly insightful look into the hearts of the Pokemon around him. He had improved his Aura-reading skills somewhat over the last few days due to some more training and information in his book, and was able to make out some of the subtler thoughts and emotions that radiated off the Pokemon around him. In Treasure Town, that was not necessarily a good thing. Leo had been forced to shut off the scanning function of his sunglasses to keep from throwing up at all the disgusting information it fed him about their environs and the Pokemon living in them, but Ash had no such escape.

In addition to the color change and costumes, they had been liberally applied with perfume scented to match the Pokemon they were pretending to be so that they would smell normal to anyone with a good nose; though it was doubtful anyone would notice considering the constant stench of Treasure Town. When they asked where Tracey had gotten the perfume, he said it was something he'd rather not talk about.

Now, why were they currently in Treasure Town, undercover? According to Professor Oak, while on the surface Treasure Town was a lawless, anarchical place, there was actually a strange order to its madness, something that allowed people to rob and beat and kill and rape each other on the streets but kept most businesses relatively intact (for a fee) and also kept the entire town from being burnt to the ground by crazy kids. Apparently Treasure Town, rather than having a mayor or government, was controlled by a syndicate called the Wigglytuff Guild, run by a Wigglytuff named Don Wiggly. The Guild had a claw in every gang and shop in town, and kept the corrupt city running rather than imploding under the weight of its own vast sickness. They were not above using incredibly violent and amoral methods to maintain order, naturally, and anyone who dissented with them was never heard from again. Just about everyone was in debt to the Guild and had to give up a significant portion of their earnings to the Guild's vast coffers, which were then used to pay for whichever ridiculously luxurious and extravagant toys the rather eccentric (read: completely insane) Don Wiggly felt like getting, while only a tiny portion was reinvested in the community, creating a perpetual cycle of poverty and debt. While they were not responsible for Treasure Town being in such an awful state, a case could be made that they were part of the reason nothing ever got any better, either.

There was also evidence suggesting that they were in cahoots with the Nihilators. Tracey had seen known Guild members conferring and patrolling with suspected Nihilators, strongly implying a connection between the two groups. Oak theorized that the Guild was a front for the Nihilators that the larger organization used to maintain control over Treasure Town and look for potential recruits. Ash would use his Aura-sight once they reached the Guild to see if there were any Shadow Pokemon there, which would verify the Professor's hypothesis.

Now, with all this in mind, why exactly was Team Aurabolt walking towards a literal den of thieves? Because, according to the Professor, Don Wiggly could get them the airship tickets to Mt. Battle. The Don was an avid fan of the arena's fights and frequently donated money and attended the shows to watch Pokemon beat the crap out of each other. It should be a relatively simple matter for him to lend some tickets to the Team…assuming the price they had to pay for it wasn't too high.

They soon reached Guild headquarters, a slightly run-down building in the shape of a large Wigglytuff with the words WIGGLYTUFF GUILD flashing above the entrance in neon lights. It was one of the few buildings in town that was actually shaped like the Pokemon who lived in it, much like the homes back in Pokemon Square. It was also in one of the more upscale neighborhoods of Treasure Town, where the wealthiest residents lived. And by upscale, I mean that most of the houses actually had one or two intact glass windows, there were no gaping holes in the roofs or walls, and none of them were on fire. There were still a few heads on pikes placed outside the front doors to show trespassers that they were not welcome, though.

There was an incredibly long line of supplicants extending down the block and around the corner, all Pokemon who, like Team Aurabolt, wished to beg a favor from the Don. At the rate the line was moving, it looked like they would need to wait hours to get in. However, the team had no intention of waiting. They immediately cut to the front of the line, earning the ire of the Luxray who had been about to get in. "Hey, I was standing there!" he snarled.

"So?" asked Pikachu, affecting a tough-guy voice.

"What're you gonna do about it, punk?" Leo asked, trying not to sound as intimidated by the rather large electric lion as he actually was.

"How about KILL YOU?!" the Luxray snarled, electricity crackling around him.

A Diglett head popped out of the ground. "No fighting in line! To the back!"

"But-but they cut my place!" the Luxray protested.

"Too bad. Back of the line!" the Diglett repeated. "Or you don't get to see the Don at all today!" The Luxray sagged and gave up, heading to the back of the line. The other Pokemon mocked and jeered him and threw excrement. Don't ask where they got it from. "You too, newbies. No cutsies!" the mole said to Team Aurabolt.

"But we brought a gift for the Don," Pikachu said. "I think he'd want it right away."

"You wouldn't want him to get angry for making him wait, would you?" Ash asked.

"Word, G," Leo said, trying to sound hip and failing.

The Diglett narrowed his eyebrows. "That depends. What kind of gift is it?"

Pikachu pulled out a shiny golden apple. "Would a Perfect Apple suffice?"

The Diglett and everyone else in line gasped. It was well-known throughout Treasure Town that Don Wiggly loved Perfect Apples more than any other meal, and he was always happy to heap rewards on anyone who brought him one. They were incredibly rare, however, and Tracey had only managed to procure one for the team at great risk of life and limb and doing something else he would rather not talk about. "That…would work," the Diglett said, recovering his voice. "Come right in, folks! The Don'll be happy to see anyone with a Perfect Apple!"

"But I was next in line!" a rather hideous Purugly protested. "And I needed to ask the Don for some money to pay off some kidnappers who took my daughter! If I don't get that money by sunset, they'll kill her!"

"This is how much I don't care, toots," the Diglett said, blowing his nose at the feline. "Now, my good friends, if you'll come right this way…what're your names again?"

"Hashish," said Ash.

"Proto," said Pikachu.

"Shellmaster Bowzuh, yo!" Leo said.

The mole led them inside the building. The interior was surprisingly small for the headquarters of a crime syndicate. All that was visible was a lobby with the guild's rather long motto on a nearby sign and a hatch with a ladder leading underground. The ladder was guarded by a Bidoof…and a rather _familiar_ Bidoof at that. Ash's hackles rose as he recognized the rodent that had tried to steal all his stuff after he had went out of his way to rescue him, and he growled until Pikachu shushed him. "Who're these guys?" the Bidoof asked as they approached him.

"Some guys with a Perfect Apple for the boss," the Diglett told the Bidoof. "Search 'em and make sure that they don't have anything _else_ on them."

"Sure thing!" the Bidoof said, rubbing his paws together eagerly.

"Uh, wait, is this necessary?" Pikachu asked nervously.

"Yeah, we ain't carrying nuthin' dawg!" Leo said. "Other than that phat Perfect Apple!"

"We'll see about that," said the Diglett as the Bidoof invasively searched every inch and crevice of their bodies for contraband or cash or anything he could hawk.

"Awwww, they aren't carrying jackshit," the Bidoof complained, finally giving up on his search for goods. (The team had left all their valuables back with Oak and Tracey.)

"See? We told you we weren't carrying anything," Ash said.

"I feel violated…yo," Leo whimpered.

"Why're you on a leash, anyway? You that mouse's pet?" the Bidoof jeered, trying to gain some measure of satisfaction off of the visitors.

"Actually, no, it's the other way around," said Ash. "He's _my _pet. Bought him at the slave market to be my seeing-eye mouse. You know, due to me being blind and all."

"Oh," Bidoof said, deflating somewhat.

Pikachu glowered at Ash. "A seeing-eye mouse slave. Yes, that's _exactly_ what I am."

"Don't talk back like that to yo master, bitch!" Leo shouted. "Otherwise we'll sell you back to be used as a pleasure slave, like you were intended to be, and-" Pikachu glared at him, and he squeaked and shut up, realizing he was pushing it too far.

"Guess you can go on down, then," the Bidoof said, moving away from the ladder.

"Meet you at the bottom," the Diglett said, vanishing into the ground.

Team Aurabolt climbed down the ladder. (Well, Pikachu climbed, Ash and Leo were thrown down.) It took them several meters underground, and they quickly realized by the architectural style that they were somewhere in the city's subterranean catacombs. "Ooh, ancient ruins of a past civilization," Leo said, marveling at his surprisingly well-lit surroundings. "Neat! Uh, I mean…to pee on and write graffiti and stuff! Yeah…" he said quickly when Diglett, who had been waiting for them, gave him an odd look.

A Dugtrio and Chimecho were snoozing between a pair of bulletin boards with the names of wanted Pokemon and jobs written on them. Another hatch leading deeper into the catacombs was nearby, guarded by a Loudred. "ARE THESE THE GUYS WHO HAVE THE PERFECT APPLE FOR THE BOSS?" the Loudred shouted, causing them to wince.

"Yep," said the Diglett as the Loudred came over.

"GOOD! NOW I GET TO SEARCH THEM!" the Loudred said eagerly.

"Wait, but we just got searched by Bidoof!" Pikachu protested.

"HE MIGHTA MISSED SOMETHING. HE'S GREEDY, BUT NOT TOO BRIGHT," the Loudred said.

"We've noticed," Ash said dryly.

"Could you at least use your indoor voice, please? I mean, or else I'll beat the shit outta you, Houndoomdog!" Leo threatened.

"THIS _IS_ MY INDOOR VOICE," the Loudred told them.

"Ah," said Leo.

"My little brother's indoor voice used to be like that too," Pikachu said. Quickly remembering he was supposed to be in character, he added, "How I miss that shrill, blaring voice, since he was torn away from me like the rest of my family by the slavers…I wonder if I will ever see him again."

"No," Ash said.

The Loudred searched them, leaving Leo feeling violated again, and, like Bidoof before him, found nothing. "ALL CLEAR!" he yelled.

"Then you three can go on down," the Diglett told them, nodding at the ladder.

"How far does this place go down, homes?" Leo asked as they were led over to the hatch.

"Pretty far, we've staked out a sizable portion of these catacombs for our headquarters," the Diglett said.

"Looks pretty impressive…or, uh, it would if I could see it, which I can't, because I'm blind," Ash said.

They climbed (and were dropped) down to the next level. The architectural style looked slightly more advanced than the above level, but older too. They did not see any hatches leading down to another level, so assumed they were where they were supposed to be. Several doors lined the passageway they were in, most of them shut. Ash glanced about anxiously, he was having a lot more trouble using Aura-sight at this level of the catacombs than he remembered. Was the door beneath Treasure Town producing greater amounts of evil miasma than before? That didn't bode well for any of them…

The Diglett popped up from the ground right next to them. "Follow me, please."

"How do you dig your way between these layers if so much of it is stone or empty space?" Pikachu marveled as the mole led them down the hallway.

"Practice," the Diglett said simply.

As they proceeded, they passed a partially open doorway from which gruesome screams could be heard. Glancing inside as they went by, they saw a horrifically mangled Buizel dangling from a meathook by its pierced paws, most of its skin and fur flayed off and a psychotic female Sunflora with a terrifying grin reeling out the Sea Weasel's intestines with a fishing rod. The bloody Buizel shrieked again, but his agony was cut off as the Diglett abruptly shut the door. "You weren't supposed to see that," the mole said apologetically. "She doesn't like to be watched when she's playing with toys."

"What-what did he do to deserve that?" Pikachu stammered, trembling.

"Oh, he called her fat or something. Or looked at her funny. It's hard to tell, she could have just picked him at random. She's crazy like that," the Diglett explained. The trio exchanged uneasy glances, wondering if she had any relation to Chobin.

They soon reached another, much more ornate doorway guarded by a Koffing, Zubat, and Skuntank. "Here we are," the Diglett said. "This is the lair of the grand master of all things bad, Don Wiggly!"

"We're going to need to search you before you go in, sirs," the Skuntank told them.

"Oh come on! You've already searched us twice!" Pikachu protested.

"This is ridiculous!" Ash cried.

"You guys are doing this for fun, aren't you?" Leo accused.

"Pretty much, yeah," the Koffing said.

"Don't struggle, now. This shouldn't take long…" the Zubat said gleefully as they advanced on the miserable trio.

A few minutes later—and Leo left with a feeling of violation, _again_—they were finally granted their audience with the Don. Sore and rather frustrated by this point, they hoped that it would be worth all the trouble.

The Don's personal chamber was not what they were expecting. Rather than a richly decorated office with fine rugs, bookcases, paintings, and a well-dressed crime boss sitting behind a desk, they found themselves in what looked like a nursery. The walls and ceiling were painted sky blue with white clouds and Flying Pokemon dotted here and there. Toys, blocks, bouncy balls, cushions, and stuffed animals littered the soft carpeted floor. A Croagunk and a Corphish wearing nicely tailored suits and shades flanked an enormous playpen in which sat a humongous morbidly obese Wigglytuff wearing a diaper, drooling and giggling childishly as it played with a mobile dangling over its pen. The trio gawked in disbelief. They had heard Don Wiggly was eccentric, but this was certainly much more than they had bargained for. "What the fu-" Leo started.

"No bad language around the Don!" a Chatot standing on a nearby perch that they had initially mistaken to be a talking toy snapped. "He's very impressionable, you know."

"Uh, sorry, dawg. Er, bird," Leo apologized.

"Now…Hashish, Proto, and 'Bowzuh', I presume? I believe you have a Perfect Apple for his Magnificence, Don Wiggly?" the Chatot asked, preening himself.

"Right here," Pikachu said, taking out the Perfect Apple. It gleamed in the bright, friendly lights shining down from the ceiling.

The gleam caught Don Wiggly's eyes and he paused in his playing. His eyes widened and his pupils expanded and he pressed his great weight against the side of his playpen, causing it to creak as he stretched his arm nubs out towards the glittering orb, drool and crumbs from his last meal running down his face and losing themselves in the rolls of fat which rippled with every movement he made. "Apple…want Apple…gimme Apple!"

"Sure thing," Ash said. "But first…there's something we'd like you to do for us!"

The bodyguards tensed, Don Wiggly gasped, and the Chatot scoffed. "You dare to demand something from his Greatness before giving him his Apple?!"

"Apple! Gimme Apple!" the Wigglytuff repeated, looking angry.

"You can have it, my man, but first there's something we were hoping you could help us with-" Leo started, only to be interrupted when Don Wiggly completely lost it.

"WANT APPLE! WANT APPLE! WANT APPLE! WANT APPLE!" Don Wiggly shouted at the top of his very large lungs, nearly shattering their eardrums as he pounded angrily on the floor, shaking the entire room, toppling toys over, and causing cracks to form in the ceiling and around his playpen.

"You'd better give him the apple now, before he _really_ loses his temper!" the Chatot warned them ominously.

"A-all right, here, take it, just make it stop!" Pikachu cried, throwing the Perfect Apple. The Don snatched it out of the air and greedily stuffed it down his throat, swallowing the entire thing whole. He calmed down at once, belched loudly, and giggled happily. Pikachu sweatdropped. "Wow, and I thought my little brother…who I will never see again…had bad tantrums…"

"I'm pretty sure your little brother isn't a grown mon…" Ash said, rather disturbed by Don Wiggly's behavior and mannerisms.

"Java the Hutt is one thing…but this? Dude…" Leo murmured in disgust.

The Wigglytuff gurgled. "You have pleased His Immenseness, and may approach," the Chatot told them.

"Uh, okay," said Pikachu. Rather uncertainly, they walked up to the playpen. Ash had to carefully put one foot in front of the other because the miasma had become thick enough that he had trouble seeing. And his sense of smell, which he usually used in conjunction with his hearing to find his way around when his Aura-sight wasn't working, was somewhat impaired by the sheer odor of…Don Wiggly, qnd whatever was in his diaper. He didn't really want to think about it, it made his head feel dizzy.

They stood before the Don. Without warning, the Wigglytuff grabbed a rattle and bopped each of them on the head. "OW!" they shouted.

"Dude, not cool!" Leo yelled.

"What was that for?!" Ash snarled.

"That was a sign of affection. He only does that to people he likes," the Chatot explained as the Don giggled and started sucking on the rattle. "Now, since you brought his Childness a Perfect Apple, I assume there is a request you would like to make of us?"

"Uh, yeah. We were kind of hoping the Donmeister could hook us up with some sweet tickets to that phat Mt. Battle arena, cause we hear there's a really wicked tournament about to roll down and we don't got the green to pay for an airship ride," Leo said.

"If it isn't too much trouble," Pikachu said politely.

"Hmm…" the Chatot murmured, rubbing his beak. He glanced at the Don. "What do you think, Your Pinkness?"

Don Wiggly sulked and clutched a blanket to himself. "Want Mama."

"Very good!" The parrot turned back to the trio. "All right, you heard the Don. His darlingdaughter Julie has recently run away from home, and he fears for her safety. If you can find her and bring her back to her father, you shall receive upir airship tickets."

"Get Mama!" Don Wiggly agreed happily.

The trio exchanged puzzled looks. "Wait…his daughter? But he just said he wants his mother," said the confused Ash.

"No he didn't," the Chatot said a little too quickly.

Don Wiggly bit his lip, his eyes trembling. "Mama...." he whimpered.

"See? He said it again!" said Pikachu.

"It's unimportant," the Chatot snapped. "Ignore that, when he says 'Mama,' he means Julie, who is his daughter and not his mother."

"WANT MAMA!" Don Wiggly wailed, bursting into tears. He cried so loudly that the room started to shake again.

"Quickly, get his formula!" the Chatot shouted to the bodyguards, who raced over to a nearby fridge, grabbed a bottle, stuck it in a microwave, waited patiently for several seconds until warmed up, took it out, rushed it back over to the Don, and stuck it into the Wigglytuff's mouth. The Don immediately calmed down and started contentedly sucking away. The trio sweatdropped.

"Uh…so…how're we supposed to find this dame again?" Leo asked the Chatot.

"That's your problem," the bird said. "If you don't find her, you won't get your tickets."

"I have a pretty good nose, on account of me being blind and all and forcing my other senses to compensate," Ash half-lied. "Do you have something of hers that I could take a whiff of? Might help me find her."

"You'd need a damn fine nose to find any scent out in the perpetual stink that is Treasure Town," the Chatot said, nodding to the Corphish, who went over to a nearby dresser, took out a bow, and brought it back to them. "Especially since none of our own Odor Sleuths have found her! But go ahead."

Ash sniffed the bow, examining the residual Aura on it with his Aura-sight. While his vision wasn't at its best in the evil miasma, he could still get a good reading off of things that were very close to him, and it took him only seconds to identify and memorize Julie's Aura. "I think I got it," he said.

"Good, then let's get out of here and start searching," Pikachu said.

"Don't worry, your big pink blubberiness, we'll bring your daughter back in no time! Fo'shizzle," Leo promised the Don.

The Don took his bottle out briefly and started crying again. "Want Mama!"

"Why does he keep calling her that?" Ash asked.

"That is none of your concern," the Chatot said. "Now go." The bodyguards showed them the door before they could ask anymore questions. "Hmmph. That was close…"

"Mama…" Don Wiggly said sadly. Then a loud farting noise could be heard, followed by an even worse odor. He giggled.

The Chatot gagged and glanced at the bodyguards. "One of you change him, will you?" The Corphish and Croagunk exchanged looks of pure horror and gulped, wishing that they were back on the body-dumping squad. That had smelled like Roselias compared to the Don's dirty diapers…

…

Team Aurabolt happily left the Wigglytuff Guild and started their search for the Don's daughter. It soon became evident to Ash and Pikachu that they were being followed, but they were experienced enough adventurers to be able to ditch their tails in the crowd of eternally grumpy, disheartened Pokemon milling about. Pikachu expressed concern that Julie might not be in town anymore, but an unworried Ash said they'd cross that bridge when they got to it. "If worse comes to worse, we can always steal the tickets," he said.

"I dunno…that Wigglytuff looked pretty powerful for a grown mon in a diaper," Leo commented. "I'd have looked up his level if I hadn't shut off my Pokedex to keep from grossing myself out."

"What about you, Ash? Did you get anything from his Aura?" Pikachu asked.

Ash shook his head. "The miasma's gotten worse down there. I could barely see anything that wasn't right in front of my face."

"What?! That can't be good…" Pikachu murmured anxiously.

"So you're saying that if we can't find Julie and wind up double-crossing the Don, we might wind up in a heap of trouble bigger than we can handle?" Leo asked. "Heh, talk about the blind leading the blind! Literally, I mean." Ash glared at him. "Sorry."

Using the residual Aura he had gotten from the bow as a reference, Ash led the party on a roundabout circuit through town as he tried to detect Julie. Eventually, he picked up a fairly fresh trail that took them down to the docks where he and Pikachu had first come to Treasure Town. Passing through the derelict hulls of various scuttled ships turned into homes and shops, they eventually reached a (somewhat) intact merchant vessel creatively named _The Scab XXVIII _that some burly and possibly drunk sailors were loading crates and cargo onto. Ash dragged Pikachu and Leo behind some boxes that had yet to be put on board and gestured with his head at a large blue and green Gastrodon sitting anxiously next to the gangplank leading onto the ship. "There she is. That's Julie."

Pikachu and Leo gave him strange looks. "Uh, Ash, that's a Gastrodon," said Pikachu.

"And an East Sea one at that," said Leo. "What's it doing over here? Treasure Town's on the western side of Sinnorre."

Ash gave his friends a puzzled look. "What're you talking about? That's a Jigglypuff! There's a strange Aura around her, but that's definitely her!"

Pikachu shook his head. "Ash, all we can see is a Gastrodon."

Leo frowned. "Hmm, unless…" He activated his Pokedex feature. "Aha! You're right Ash, that's not a Gastrodon! It's another Pokemon wearing some kind of illusion spell!"

"An illusion? That explains why her Aura looks odd and why the Don's been unable to find her," Ash realized. "They'd never think to look for her as another species!"

"I wouldn't mind an illusion spell…it'd probably be less painful than these disguises," Pikachu grunted, rubbing his sore tail. "Where'd she get her hands on a spell like that?"

They got their answer when a large pink and brown West Sea Gastrodon slithered down the gangplank, weaving around the sailors, and approached the other Gastrodon. The faux Sea Slug seemed to brighten at the return of its friend, and they started conferring quietly. "I'm guessing that's not a Gastrodon, either," Pikachu guessed.

Ash shook his head. "Nope. It's a Clefairy."

Pikachu nodded, hiding his surprise. "That explains the illusion, then…I've heard they can do things like that. They _are_ Fairy Pokemon, after all."

"Wow! A Clefairy? Really?!" asked the astonished Leo, whose shades only told him the Gastrodon was an illusion but not who was under it. "Aren't those supposed to be really rare alien Pokemon? Is it true that they live on the Moon and occasionally come to Earth to examine us and make crop circles?"

"As far as we know," Ash said.

"What's a magical being like a Clefairy doing in a place like this?" wondered Pikachu.

"Why don't we go find out?" said Ash.

They cautiously crept out from around the boxes and approached the disguised Pokemon. "I've managed to make arrangements with the captain of this ship," the West Sea Gastrodon told its companion in a beautiful, ethereal singsong voice that certainly didn't sound like it belonged in a craphole like Treasure Town. "He has agreed to take us along as passengers in exchange for some of my Moon Rocks. Once we reach Trozei, we can disembark and make our way to my people's ship."

"And you're sure we can trust him?" the East Sea Gastrodon asked doubtfully.

The West Sea Gastrodon shook her head. "Probably not, but as long as I give him the treasure I promised, I doubt we have anything to fear from him. You Earthlings are so greedy and deceitful, nothing like the Pokemon on my world."

"All the more reason for me to come back with you to the Moon, then, and leave this disgusting planet behind," the East Sea Gastrodon said bitterly. She froze, noticing Ash, Pikachu and Leo coming towards them. "Quick, someone's coming. Act normal."

"I am normal," said the puzzled West Sea Gastrodon.

"Not like a fairy, then. Hello, sirs! Is there something I can do for you?" the East Sea Gastrodon said with saccharine sweetness to the trio.

"Are you Julie, daughter of Don Wiggly?" Ash asked, getting right to the point.

"Because if you are, your father wants to see you," Pikachu said.

Both Sea Slugs stiffened. "I'm sorry, but I'm afraid you have the wrong-" the blue Gastrodon started.

"We can see through your disguises," Ash said.

"Yeah, they're totally bogus," Leo said. "Spotted them from a mile away."

There was a long silence. The pink Gastrodon looked at her partner worriedly. Finally, in a somewhat strained voice, the blue slug said, "Could we talk about this in private, please? Away from prying eyes and ears?"

Noticing that the nearby sailors were starting to stare, the team quickly agreed, and they walked over to some rotting crates that had apparently been intended for another ship but were abandoned long ago. Once they had made sure that nobody was close enough to hear or see what was going on, the Gastrodons shimmered and faded away, revealing a Clefairy with a small red flower in her hair and a Jigglypuff with a large red bow. Neither of them looked especially happy, but the Jigglypuff was livid. "How did you see through our disguises?" asked the amazed Clefairy.

"You aren't the only ones with magic on your side," Leo said with a grin.

"Let me guess," Julie growled. "My dad sent you to bring me back, huh?"

"That was the idea, yes," Ash said.

"Well, let me tell you something, mister. I have absolutely no intention of returning to him. EVER. I've been waiting YEARS for a chance to get away from that horrible mon, and now that I've got it, I'm not going to let anyone take away my newfound freedom," Julie ranted. "And you know what? You can tell him that yourself! Sweet dreams!" She opened her mouth and inhaled, preparing to use her species' infamous Sing attack…

Only to be stopped when the Clefairy put a hand on her shoulder. "Julie, I do not think that will be necessary."

Julie blinked. "Huh? What do you mean?"

"I sense that these are good Pokemon with kind hearts. Perhaps if they understood your dilemma, they would be willing to look the other way?" the Clefairy suggested.

Julie snorted. "Good Pokemon? There _are_ no good Pokemon in Treasure Town!"

"Actually, we're from out of town," said Pikachu.

"We're from Pokemon Square in Kanjohenn," said Ash.

"And I'm from Turtle Town," Leo volunteered.

"Oh!" said the surprised Julie. "Well…I guess that changes things." She sighed. "I suppose I could tell you, then, though I'd rather just put you to sleep and let you explain my escape to my father instead."

"Why exactly do you want to get away from here?" Pikachu asked.

"Other than the obvious desire to go to anyplace that's not as crappy as this" Leo said.

"I take it you've met my father?" Julie asked.

"Unfortunately," said Ash with a grimace.

"Then you already know part of the reason I have to leave. He's been like that ever since I was a little girl. After my mother died in a gang war he started, he went insane and mentally regressed to his childhood, putting on a diaper and acting like a big baby," Julie explained. "For the last several years, I've been forced to take care of him. I feed him, bathe him, clothe him, clean up after him, play with him, and…other things. I didn't want to do it, I never wanted to, but when I refused to play along with him he got…violent."

"He beat you if you don't treat him like a baby?!" asked the shocked Ash.

"Worse. He beats me if I don't act like his mother," Julie replied. "He never refers to me by my name, just as 'Mama' and makes me dress up like his mother because he thinks it'll help me take care of him better. And sometimes he beats me anyway even when I'm in character, because…well, he and his real mother never got along very well…and sometimes, when he's really angry because a toy broke or some criminal venture flopped, he needs something to take his anger out on, and…well…" She shrugged. "I'm cheaper than one of Joy's whores."

"…Dude, that's all kinds of messed up," said a horrified Leo.

"Wait, are you saying he-" Pikachu started.

"Rapes me? Thankfully, no. At least, not yet. I'm starting to think it's only a matter of time, though…" Julie said. "I'm getting older, and everyone's saying that I look a lot like my mother…and sometimes Daddy makes me dress up in some of her old clothes, and-"

"I-I think we get the picture," said a disturbed Ash.

"No wonder you're trying to book it from here!" Leo said.

"But where do you come into this?" Pikachu asked the Clefairy.

"Earlier this week, I came to Earth on a survey ship with some of my sisters, as our kind does every year," the Moon creature told them. "However, we experienced some atmospheric turbulence during reentry, and the engines failed. We ejected from the ship before it could crash, and I landed in Treasure Town, where Julie found me. She immediately realized I was something special, something unlike anything that had ever appeared in this Moonforsaken place before, and she hid me before the greedy and those who believe that my kind have the power to grant wishes could get their claws on me."

"No offense, but I'm surprised you didn't try keeping her to yourself too," Leo said to Julie. "I mean, considering your upbringing, your dad, everything else in this shithole…"

"I considered it, actually," Julie admitted. "But…something about her purity and untarnished innocence, the kind that comes from growing up in a place that's the polar opposite of this town, resonated with something I thought forgotten inside of me. I wanted…I wanted to be like her. I didn't want to grow up and be like my Dad and everyone else here. I wanted to be something different."

The Clefairy smiled at Julie admiringly. "And so you shall. While your spirit has been battered and sorely tested by this dreadful place, it has not yet been broken. There is still hope for your soul." Ash nodded, agreeing with that assessment. While Julie's Aura was as tainted as everyone else who lived in Treasure Town, it didn't seem nearly as bad as the Auras of most of the other residents.

"After she recovered from the crash, she received some sort of magical message from her sisters telling her that they were all right, but scattered, and that their ship was apparently still intact but somewhere in the Trozei region, and that they needed to rendezvous there to fix it up and return home before some greedy Pokemon finds it," Julie continued. "I offered to help her get to Trozei, but on one condition…that she'd take me into space with her, and leave this spinning ball of filth behind. If half the stories she's told me about her home on the Moon are true, it's infinitely better than anything on this rock."

"Well, not _all_ towns are as bad as this one," Pikachu said, slightly offended. He thought Pokemon Square was a pretty good place.

"Maybe so, but I've set my sights on the Moon, and I won't settle for anything less than that!" Julie said firmly.

"In my home of Feymarche on the bright side of the Moon, she can live forever among the Fairy Pokemon and know peace, love, and acceptance, leaving her tarnished memories of this nadir of despair behind her for all time," the Clefairy explained.

"Cool! Can I come?" Leo asked.

"Leo!" Ash and Pikachu yelled.

"What? I already told you guys I'd like to live forever. Plus, I've always wanted to go into space! While it's a given that nearly every adventure involves an airship and inevitable tournament, that doesn't mean I'll get a chance to go into space!" Leo whined.

"We'll see, Leo," Pikachu said in a tone of voice that meant they would do no such thing.

The fake Torkoal sulked. "Oh well…hey, is this Feymarche place ruled by someone named Queen Serenity?"

"Huh?" asked the confused Clefairy.

Leo shrugged. "Never mind. Worth a try."

"So now that you know our story," the Clefairy said, shrugging off Leo's odd question. "What will you do?"

The answer was obvious. "We'll look the other way and let you go," Ash said.

The Clefairy nodded, having expected this, but Julie was honestly surprised. "What?! You'd let me go even though my Dad'd probably kill you for it and you'll be passing up on whatever reward he offered you?"

"Well, duh," said Leo. "We're the good guys! That's the sort of thing we do!"

"While your father does have something we need, it isn't worth giving you back into his custody," Pikachu agreed. "We'll tell him we couldn't find you."

"No, wait, we'll tell him we almost caught up to you, but then your ship pulled out before we could get you," Leo said. "And we'll lie about which ship it was."

"I…you'd really…th-thank you…" Julie stammered, still amazed at the concept of someone actually helping someone else without any ulterior motives or personal gain. They were letting them go, and she hadn't even offered them a bribe or anything!

A ship's bell rang. "All aboard that's going aboard!" A loud voice shouted.

"I believe that is our cue to go," the Clefairy said.

"You'd better get on that ship before it leaves without you," Ash agreed.

"R-right," Julie said. "Thanks again."

"No problem. This is the sort of thing we do all the time," Pikachu assured her.

"To thank you for this service you have rendered us, I would like to give you something in return," Clefairy said.

"Oh no, that's unnecessary," Pikachu assured her. "We're not in it for the reward."

"Nonetheless, I would like you to take this," she said, pulling out a slightly bluish rock.

"It's a rock," Leo said, pointing out the obvious.

"Not just any rock!" Julie scoffed. "A _Moon_ Rock! As in, one from the Moon!"

"Don't those cause your species to evolve?" Pikachu asked.

"No, you're thinking of Moon Stones, these are totally different," Julie said.

"Oh," said Pikachu.

"Does it do anything?" Leo asked.

"No, but it is a piece of my home, and so has value in its own right," the Clefairy told them. "If you carry it with you, perhaps it will bring you luck on nights when the full moon is smiling down upon you."

Leo shrugged. "Eh, works for me." He took the rock and stowed it in his shell.

The ship's bell rang again. "We really should be going," Julie said anxiously. The Clefairy nodded and did some kind of magic…dance…thing that abruptly made both of them look like Gastrodons. "Thank you again for letting us go. You have no idea how much this means to me!"

Pikachu shrugged. "It's what we do."

"Perhaps we shall meet again someday, either here or on the Moon," the Clefairy said. "Wouldn't that be nice?"

The trio escorted the fake slugs to the ship and watched them slide up the gangplank. "By the way, we never got your name!" Ash called after the Clefairy.

"It's Ciela," she called back. "Remember it, should you ever run into my kind again, it may prove useful to you!"

"We'll be sure to do that," Pikachu assured her.

The Gastrodons boarded the ship, the gangplank was pulled up, the anchor was raised, the sails unfurled, and the ship slowly started to sail out of the harbor. Ash, Pikachu, and Leo stood at the end of the docks and waved farewell to the runaway Pokemon as they set out on a new voyage of freedom and self-discovery. "Well, that was nice," Leo said once the ship was out by the horizon. "But how are we going to get those tickets?"

"Maybe the Don'll give them to us anyway since we almost got her?" Pikachu suggested.

"Or maybe we'll just steal them," Ash said with a shrug. "How hard could it be?"

Leo groaned. "You should know by now never to say things like that…"

Ash winced. "Oops. Sorry…"

"I just hope you haven't screwed things up for us too badly," the turtle grumbled.

"Just by making an overconfident statement?!" Ash asked incredulously.

"Yes," Leo said flatly.

"I'd argue, but he probably has a point," Pikachu commented.

Ash sweatdropped. "Gee, thanks guys, I really feel the love here…"

"Let's just go back into town and talk to the Don," said Pikachu. "And…to take a leaf from your book…after that, we'll improvise."

…

A little later, back at the Wigglytuff Guild…

"…And that's how it went down," Ash said, finishing the story they had cooked up on the way back to Guild headquarters to explain how they had failed in their mission.

"Word of honor, yo, every bit of it true!" Leo swore.

Don Wiggly's lip quivered and his eyes watered up. "Mama…gone?" He started wailing. "WAAAAHHHH! WANT MAMA! WANT MAMA! WANT-" The Croagunk shoved another bottle in his mouth before he could bring the place down on them. He gurgled and contentedly started sucking on it.

The Chatot frowned. "Hmm…so you managed to track Julie to the docks, but she jumped aboard a ship and sailed away before you could grab her? Most inconvenient…I don't suppose you managed to catch the name of the ship, did you?"

"I think it was the _Bleeding Mary,_" Pikachu recalled, using the name of one of the ships that had left port at about the same time as _The Scab XXVIII _to try and misdirect the Guild in its endeavors to locate the runaway Julie.

"I see…well, this is somewhat disappointing, but at least now we have some idea of where she's going. We'll have contacts waiting for her at all the ports along the _Bleeding Mary's_ route," the Chatot said. "Thank you for getting us this information."

"No problem," said Ash.

"Now, about our reward? I mean, we didn't do this for free, birdie," Leo said.

The Chatot narrowed his eyes. "Ah, yes…your reward…don't worry, we'll make sure that you get exactly what you deserve." He whistled.

The Skuntank, Koffing, and Zubat guarding the door burst into the room, followed by a Zangoose, Scyther, Sandlash, Pidgey, Seedot, Togepi, Politoed, and Ledyba. A Lopunny, Gardevoir, and Medicham smashed through a wall. A Swellow and Wurmple emerged from the fridge. Three Poochyenas that they had thought were stuffed animals came to life and growled at them. A Shuppet and a Murkrow emerged from a shadow. A Slakoth and Slowpoke slowly rose out of a pile of stuffed animals. A Camerupt, Ponyta, and Bellsprout erupted from a toy chest. An Arbok, Weavile, and Drapion crawled out of a closet. Finally, a Gallade, Roserade, and Rhyperior exploded out of the floor. Don Wiggly giggled and clapped, pleased by the entrance. Team Aurabolt gawked as the thirty-plus Guild Pokemon surrounded them. "What…what the…" Pikachu stammered.

"Holy shit!" Leo swore. "Wait, how'd those guys fit in the toybox? And the fridge?"

"How did I not see these guys coming?!" Ash asked. Then he remembered that Don Wiggly's odor and the evil miasma were blinding his senses. "Oh wait, I know…"

"What's going on? We may not have succeeded in bringing back the Don's daughter, but that's not a big enough failure to warrant killing us, is it?!" Pikachu demanded.

"We're not killing you because you failed to retrieve Julie, we're killing you because you know too much!" the Chatot explained. "Nobody outside the Guild knows that Julie has run away, and we intend to keep it that way! If any of the other criminal elements in town got word of how inconsolable the Don is due to his daughter's absence-" The Don blew a bubble with his snot and giggled as it burst all over his face. Then he licked it off. "They might think that his power has weakened enough to warrant a coup, which would thrust Treasure Town into utter chaos! Well, more chaos than usual, anyway."

Pikachu sweatdropped. "Criminal syndicates suck."

"I don't think we can take this many," Ash said. "Especially not in such close quarters!"

"Don't worry, the law of conservation of ninjutsu will protect us!" Leo assured his friends. "The more Pokemon there are in a group for us to fight, no matter how powerful they might be individually, the easier it'll be for an outnumbered small band such as us to beat them! We'll be out of here in no time!"

Several minutes later…

"Conservation of ninjutsu, huh?" Pikachu, his body wrapped in a rubber suit, his hands tied behind his back, and his feet encased in cement asked Leo sourly.

"I never said it always worked," Leo said apologetically through the muzzle they'd put over his face to hinder any breath attacks, all of his limbs encased in cement as well.

"Is this really necessary?" Ash asked through his muzzle, all his paws in cement too.

"Yes," said the Chatot, who was perched atop Don Wiggly's head, who was sitting in an overly large stroller that was somehow able to carry the Don's incredible weight. They were at the edge of a stone pier near the docks surrounded by the Guild's henchmon, the disgusting brown water of the bay sloshing against the bank below them. Bones, garbage, and what looked like whole body parts drifted about in the polluted murk. "Otherwise, you might escape, and we can't have that, now can we?"

The Don giggled and shook a rattle. "Go swim!"

"That's right, your Jigglyness, they're going on a swim…one from which they will never return!" the Chatot said sinisterly.

"…That was kind of lame," Leo said.

"I don't really care," the Chatot said flatly. "And you won't either! Fire-types aren't very fond of water after all, and this water will be the death of you in more ways than one!"

Leo blinked. "Huh? Oh, uh, right, I'm a Torkoal, and I'm afraid of water! Like, I have hydrophobia and stuff! Please don't throw me in there!" The Guild laughed, indicating they had every intention of doing just that.

"I don't suppose you have a plan to get us out of this?" Pikachu asked his brother.

"I have something," He murmured quietly. "You might want to hold your breath before we fall in." Ash's plan, which he naturally couldn't reveal out loud, was to wait until they were dumped in the water, then channel his Aura into his paws to break out of the cement, smash the weights on Pikachu and Leo (not that Leo was in any real danger, since he could breathe underwater) and resurface under one of the nearby docks, out of eyesight of the Guild. Then they'd make their way back to Sharpedo Cape and come up with another way to get to Mt. Battle.

It was a good plan, but unfortunately the Guild seemed set on making things harder for them. "And just in case you aren't killed by the drowning or by the high levels of toxicity in the water, we're going to throw in this mutant Carvanha to make sure you die for real and don't somehow manage to escape once you're beneath the surface and out of our range of vision," the Chatot said, gesturing to the Slakoth and Rhyperior, who held up a large water-filled tank containing a Carvanha at least twice as big as Ash with three eyes, a prehensile tongue, crooked teeth in dire need of braces and dentistry spiraling and zigzagging their way out of its mouth in all directions, sickly greenish dentricles, lots of spikes, fins shaped like a mix between flippers and deformed wings, and clawed vestigial limbs which flailed at the liquid it was immersed in.

"Feed the fishie!" Don Wiggly said joyously.

Team Aurabolt's eyes bulged out of their sockets. "Holy shit," said Ash.

"Where did that thing come from?!" Leo cried.

"The same waters we're about to toss you into, actually. The water's _really_ unhealthy, what with all the dead bodies and toxic waste we dump in it," the Chatot said.

"And this isn't even the worst mutation we've seen," the Gallade spoke up. "There was this one Magikarp that turned into a giant monster!"

"Don't most Magikarp do that when they evolve?" Pikachu asked.

"I never said that this one evolved," the Gallade said. The other Guild members shuddered at the horrific memory.

"You might even run into it if the Carvanha and everything else doesn't finish you, I hear it's still down there somewhere," the Chatot said. Team Aurabolt glanced at each other worriedly. "Anyway, into the drink with you…oh, wait, I almost forgot." He waved, and the Zangoose and Drapion came over, carrying some more poor schmoes in cement shoes. "We're gonna throw these two in with you for the sake of expediency; we were planning to do it later this week but there's no reason not to get rid of all our troublemakers in one go, you know what I mean?"

"Fishie will be very full!" Don Wiggly gurgled.

"Yes, the fishie will be very full indeed," the Chatot agreed.

The Guild Pokemon put their loads down next to Team Aurabolt and left. Ash gave the newcomers a puzzled look, befuddled by their strange Auras and weird appearances, Pikachu wondered what sort of Pokemon they were supposed to be, and Leo's jaw dropped (or would have, were he not muzzled) as he tried to convince himself he wasn't dreaming. "Hello there," the first of the two strangers, who looked sort of like a Lucario only much taller, was covered in brown fur, had no spikes, straight legs, four-fingered paws, and wore a gray film-noir styled suit and pants, complete with hat and black-and-blue striped tie, said conversationally, not seeming to mind the cement shoes or their imminent deaths. "What'd you poor fellows do to wind up in this mess?"

"Uh, we found out that the Don's daughter ran away because she couldn't stand having to take care of her big baby of a father anymore," Pikachu said uncertainly.

That set the Don off crying again. "WANT MAMA!" he wailed, forcing Chatot and the other Guild members to quickly try and calm him down before he had a tantrum and knocked a building over.

"I thought you said his daughter ran off," said the brown not-Lucario.

"He calls her his mom. It's complicated," Ash said. "And what'd you guys do?"

"I called him names and drank his milk," said the other Pokemon (were they even Pokemon?) who looked like a Buneary but a little taller, with longer and lankier limbs, white fur, no big fluffy bits, tiny wideset eyes, and a mouth full of rather sharp teeth.

"That sounds like something that'd piss him off," Ash commented.

"Bad bunny!" Don Wiggly said angrily.

"You're one to talk, fatso!" the white not-Buneary said, making the Don cry again.

"You guys don't look like you're from around here. Who are you, exactly?" Ash asked.

"We're-" the not-Lucario started.

"OHMYARCEUSOHMYARCEUSOHMYARCEUS! YOU'RE SAM AND MAX, THE FREELANCE POLICE!" Leo finally shouted, unable to contain himself any longer.

The not-Lucario, 'Sam,' blinked. "Uh…yes, that's us. How did you know that?"

"Dude, I've read your comics! And played your games! And watched your TV show!" Leo gushed uncontrollably. "And though I knew you existed somewhere out there, I never thought I'd meet you in person! This is sooooo cool!"

"Look Sam, a fanboy! Can we keep him?" the not-Buneary, 'Max', asked Sam.

Sam frowned. "I don't know, little buddy, remember what happened to the last one?"

"Hey, I _told _him not to open the fridge," Max said defensively.

"Um…excuse me…but what is going on here?!" the confused Pikachu shouted. "Who are you guys and how does Leo know about you?"

"Those guys are Sam and Max, a pair of heroic sociopath private investigators who are often called upon to save the world from bizarre threats—though usually they do it incidentally, since they're more interested in beating up bad guys and causing unnecessary violence and property damage—and stars of their own short-lived comic book series, cartoon show, and intermittent computer game series!" Leo explained.

Sam nodded. "That about sums us up."

Max snorted. "Geek. Bet you don't know what my favorite color is!"

"Orange," Leo said automatically.

"Wow, he is good," said the impressed not-Buneary.

"Wait, wait. Back up a minute. These guys are video game and comic book characters?!" asked an astonished Pikachu. "But…I don't…then what are they doing in the real world!"

Leo rolled his eyes. "Duh, I told you before! All fictional characters are real somewhere in the Omniverse! They must have somehow gotten from their world to ours! Hey, how'd you do that, anyway?"

"Well, our boss, the Commissioner-" Sam started.

"He who is never seen!" Max said, wiggling his fingers. "But has a cute daughter."

"Called us up and told us there was big trouble in another universe, so we got in the DeSoto and drove on over there," Sam continued.

"Cool!" said Leo.

"What's a DeSoto?" asked Pikachu.

"I think it's a 'car'," Ash said. "Like those four-wheeled things we saw in Professor Oak's book that humans used to use to get around."

Pikachu blinked. "A…but…how do you drive a…from one universe to another?!"

"Very carefully," said Sam.

"But we're bad at that, so we took a few wrong turns and wound up here," said Max.

"You didn't stop for directions?" Leo asked.

Max snorted. "Asking directions is for pussies! And wimps! And girls! And people who breathe with their mouths."

"We also didn't understand the languages. You run into the strangest people when you drive across the breadth of time and space," said Sam.

"Some of them bled rainbows," Max said.

They stared at the not-Buneary. "O…kay…" said the disturbed Ash.

"You guys are even crazier in the flesh than I imagined! I don't suppose either of you has some item in your inventory that can get us out of this situation? Some overpriced piece of Boscotech junk, or maybe one of the Geek's inventions?" Leo asked.

"I do, actually," said Sam. "But unfortunately, my hands are tied. Literally." They were, his hands were tied behind his back.

"Oh," Leo said in disappointment. "Well…uh…I don't suppose you have a bizarre plan to save us, then?"

The duo from another universe pondered for a moment. "Mmm…nope," said Sam.

"I got nothing," said Max.

Leo sweatdropped. "Ah. Wonderful. I meet two of my favorite heroes, and now I'm gonna die…" He gasped, suddenly getting an idea. "Unless…"

"Unless what?" Pikachu asked.

"Considering the conservation of ninjutsu thing didn't work, it's a long shot, but still worth a try!" Leo said. He cleared his throat and started shouting. "HELP! SOMEBODY HELP US! WE'RE ABOUT TO DIE AND THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WE CAN DO TO SAVE OURSELVES! WON'T SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP US?"

Ash and Pikachu sweatdropped. "Have we really become that desperate?" Pikachu asked.

"I think I could beat that thing," Ash said, glancing at the Carvanha. "Probably…"

Sam and Max started shouting for some reason too. "WE'RE ABSOLUTELY DOOMED AND ABOUT TO DIE! WE HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO HOPE LEFT! NOW IS THE TIME WHEN WE NEED A MIRACLE TO OCCUR!" Sam yelled.

"I'M THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND I ORDER SOMEONE TO SAVE US OR I'LL LAUNCH NUCLEAR MISSILES AT THEIR COUNTRY!" Max shouted.

As Ash and Pikachu looked on in confusion, Sam, Max, and Leo kept shouting for help and saying how doomed and hopeless they were. The Guild, who had managed to calm down Don Wiggly by beating each other up and putting on a puppet show for the Don's entertainment, laughed at their futile efforts to escape. "Fools! This is Treasure Town! Nobody gives a crap about anyone else, nobody will help you, especially since it would mean defying the Wigglytuff Guild! We _rule_ this burg!" the Chatot crowed.

"Doggies and bunny and turtle and mouse gonna go bye-bye! Bye-bye, doggies and bunny and turtle and mouse! Bye-bye!" the Don said, waving to the group.

"We've dallied long enough, throw them in!" the Chatot commanded.

The Guild members advanced towards the prisoners, causing Sam, Max, and Leo to cry even louder and a little more desperately. "THIS IS THE END! THERE'S NO WAY OUT!" Sam yelled.

"WE ARE SO SCREWED!" shouted Max.

"IF ONLY SOMEONE COULD HELP US! BUT IT LOOKS LIKE WE'RE GOING TO DIE! WOE IS US! THERE'S NOTHING THAT COULD POSSIBLY HAPPEN TO SAVE US NOW!" Leo cried.

"That's right, there isn't anything that could possibly save you now!" the Chatot chortled…and paused when he heard a loud revving sound. "Eh? What's-"

He got his answer when a black and white metal monstrosity on four wheels with glaringly bright headlights smashed into the Guild members from behind, either sending them flying like bowling pins or crushing them beneath its tires. The Chatot squawked in alarm and Don Wiggly screamed as the machine clipped the Don's stroller, sending it spinning out of control before toppling over and dumping the Don on the ground. He immediately started crying that he had a 'booboo' and begged for 'Mama' to come kiss it and make it better. Chatot, who had been flattened beneath the Don's bulk when he fell over, was unable to help.

Ash and Pikachu flinched as the whatever-it-was charged right towards them, only to swerve at the last second, skidding to a halt just inches away from their faces, its sides so close that they could lick the "Sam & Max: Freelance Police" decals on the doors if they so chose. (They didn't.) The machine, which they now saw was a car, made a growling noise, its engine roaring and its wheels spinning impatiently in place, as if alive…even though nobody was sitting in the driver's seat. "What…what the…" Ash stammered, stunned. The car's Aura was remarkable for a machine, so that it actually seemed like a living thing! It writhed and burned with an uncontrollable fury, tinged with the kind of darkness you only saw in really evil Pokemon…and yet, it was on their side, somehow.

"Wh-what just happened?!" Pikachu cried.

Leo smirked. "Haha, I just knew that if we cried that we were doomed loudly enough, a deus ex machine would show up to save us! And wouldn't you know, the deus ex machina in question is an actual machine! Though more of a diabolus ex machina, now that I think of it, considering that it's been demonic ever since it came back from Hell."

"Look, Sam! It's our car!" Max squealed happily.

"I was wondering where we parked it…how convenient that it would appear out of nowhere and save us just in the nick of time, when it seemed as if our adventures were at an end!" Sam said. "But that sort of thing always seems to happen to us, doesn't it?"

"Yeah. It's not like we were _really_ in any danger, though," Max said. "I mean, what with me being amphibious and your tie actually being a sophisticated aqualung. And I think I coulda taken that overgrown tuna. These other guys would've been screwed, though."

"I can breathe underwater too," Leo said.

"Oh, okay then," said Max.

Sam walked around to the front of the car and rubbed its hood affectionately. "Who's a bad car? Who's a demonic possessed killing machine from the Underworld? You are! Yes you are! Yes you are!" The engine made a…'purring' sound and bumped its fender into Sam's knee. "Ow! We need to work on the 'love taps'…"

Pikachu gawked. "W-wait, weren't you just tied up a second ago?! And…" He glanced at where Sam had been standing earlier, and saw that the cement blocks were still there, with large holes in them. "How did…how did you get out of the cement shoes?!"

"Oh, I untied them when you weren't looking," said Sam.

"And I ate mine!" Max said, opening his mouth wide and showing several large gray chunks stuck in his teeth.

Pikachu's eye twitched. "You…_untied_…and _ate…_but…there's no laces…they're solid blocks…you can't eat them like…how…what…"

"It's best not to think about these things around them," Leo told Pikachu. "Hey, could somebody 'untie' me too?"

"I'll do it," Ash said, flexing his Aura-boosted paws and breaking the cement.

As he started freeing Leo and Pikachu, the Guild members who had not been killed by the car's initial assault managed to get their acts together. "I don't know what that thing is or where it came from," the rather squished Chatot, perched again on his master's head, declared angrily. "But it's going into the water like the rest of you! Get them!"

"They give me booboo! KILL! KILL!" the Don roared.

The criminal Pokemon roared and charged the group. "Think we can take them this time?" Pikachu asked Ash.

"No problem!" Ash said, cracking his knuckles.

"No need," said Sam, pulling a strange metal object with a handle and a long barrel out of his jacket. "We'll handle this!"

"Oh boy, we get to shoot real bad guys!" Max said, pulling a similar object from…somewhere else. "About time!"

"What are those things?" asked the confused Pikachu.

"I don't…know…" said Ash, his brow furrowed. They looked vaguely familiar.

"Those are 'guns!'" Leo said. "They're like cannons, only handheld. They use miniature contained explosions to propel metal slugs at high speeds. Humans used them in wars in the ages before Pokemon, or so I've heard. There aren't anymore left on Earth, though."

Max gasped. "A world without guns?! How horrible!"

"We'll have to remedy that as soon as we get out of this," Sam said firmly. He raised his gun, sighted along the barrel, aimed it at the screaming Bellsprout at the head of the Guild mob, and pulled the trigger.

There was a loud 'bang' and suddenly the tank containing the mutant Carvanha, which had miraculously remained intact despite being dropped and almost run over by Sam and Max's car, shattered, spilling its contents out onto the ground. The dazed fish shook itself all over, breathed in the putrid air, then pulled itself up on its vestigial limbs and lunged at the Guild Pokemon, launching itself into their midst and going into a feeding frenzy, sending limbs and blood flying everywhere as it tore into the mobsters. They screamed and broke apart in chaotic bunches, their original purpose forgotten as they tried to escape the horrible Pokemon-eating monster that was thirsting for their flesh. Several of them, blinded by terror, ran away as fast as they could, trampling their brethren under their feet or shoving them into the filthy water below. The Chatot was livid at this cowardice. "What? No! Stop, you fools! Get back here, you can take it if you-"

"Fishie!" Don Wiggly cried in alarm.

"Eh?" The Chatot's eyes bulged out of their sockets as he realized the Carvanha was bearing down on them, craving the Don's ample amounts of succulent pink flesh. "AAAHH! RUN FOR IT!"

"BAD FISHIE! BAD FISHIE!" the Don screamed as he ran off after his henchmons, the Chatot clinging to his head and the mutated Carvanha loping along after them with surprising agility for something that didn't really have what could be called legs.

Ash blinked. "That was weird."

Max sulked, seeing that all the Guild members had run off or were already dead. "Awww, that's it? I don't even get to shoot anybody? Laaaame!"

"Nice shot, Sam!" Leo complimented the not-Lucario.

Sam frowned. "I was gunning for that walking plant," he complained. "Being in another universe must be messing up my aim."

"But Sam, you've always been a lousy shot," Max said.

"I said, BEING IN ANOTHER UNIVERSE MUST BE MESSING UP MY AIM," Sam repeated loudly. Ash and Pikachu sweatdropped.

"Well, uh, thank you in any case for saving us back there," Pikachu said. "I'm not sure what we would've done if it weren't for you guys."

"Oh, don't thank us," Sam said modestly.

"We were trying to save our own skins and you just happened to be nearby!" Max said.

"Ah," Pikachu said with a sweatdrop.

"Well, this was an interesting adventure," Ash commented. "But kind of pointless, since, while we helped out a person in need and made some new friends, we still have no way to get to Mt. Battle!"

Sam and Max perked up at that. "Mt. Battle, you say?" said Sam. "Max, isn't that the place the Commissioner told us to go to?"

"Gosh, Sam, that was hours ago! You know how bad my memory is!" Max said.

"Yes, your brain is like a sieve full of very thin noodles, little buddy," Sam agreed. "Incredibly thin noodles. Noodles the width of molecules!"

"Yep," Max agreed. Ash and Pikachu sweatdropped.

"So you guys are heading to Mt. Battle too?" Leo asked. "What a coincidence!"

"A little _too_ much of a coincidence," Pikachu said skeptically.

"Oh, don't think anything of it, incredibly contrived things happen to us all the time, and we don't pay it any mind," Sam said.

"Yeah, this one time we were going to be sacrificed to a volcano god when the priest doing the ritual spontaneously exploded!" Max said.

"Why did he explode?" Pikachu asked.

Max shrugged. "I dunno. It's called _spontaneous_ combustion for a reason, you know." Pikachu's eye twitched.

"If you're heading to Mt. Battle, could you give us a lift?" Ash asked. "We kind of need to get there to save the world. Maybe all worlds. Including yours, possibly."

Max gasped. "Our world's in danger? Oh no! All my favorite stuff is there!"

Sam nodded in agreement. "Yeah, we do have lots of nice things back home that it would be rather inconvenient to have to replace…like Jesse James' hand. Or Brady Culture's afro. Or Leonard Steakcharmer."

"Is Leonard still alive?" Max asked.

"I'm not sure. You _did_ feed him before we left, right?" Sam asked.

"Uhh…" Max tried to remember. Ash and Pikachu sweatdropped.

"We don't usually take passengers, but if it's a fate-of-the-world thing, I suppose we could bend the rules," Sam said.

"Great! So how're we getting there?" asked the relieved Pikachu.

"We'll take the old girl!" Sam said, patting his car. It growled and nudged him hard. "Ow! Right, not so old…even if she is a vintage DeSoto Adventurer." The car ran over his foot. "Could you please stop doing that?" Sam asked, more annoyed than hurt.

"Um…I hate to break it to you, but Mt. Battle is at the top of Giant Volcano, which is on an island far to the northwest of here. We can't drive," said Pikachu.

Sam and Max groaned. "Not _another_ volcano!" Max complained.

"This volcano wouldn't happen to be about to erupt and wipe out a bunch of talking stone heads, would it?" Sam asked.

"Uh, no, it just has a battle arena," said Ash.

The duo perked up at this. "Ooh, an arena? Cool! Can I enter, Sam? Can I? CanIcanIcanIcanIcanIpleeeeeeasse?!" Max begged hopefully.

"We'll see, little buddy," Sam said noncommittally. "Anyway, a little water shouldn't be a problem for the DeSoto."

"But…but there are no _roads_," Pikachu protested.

"So?" said Max.

"We'll just drive on the bottom of the ocean!" Sam said.

Pikachu's eye twitched. "On…the bottom?"

"Naturally, it's the fastest way to cross the seas," Sam said.

"Wow, you can do that?" asked an amazed Ash.

"Well, _duh_, it's a convertible!" Max said,. The car revved in agreement.

"But…but that…that doesn't…that doesn't make any _sense_," Pikachu said desperately.

"Of course it doesn't!" Leo said. "That's what makes it so cool!"

"Say, if this thing runs underwater…do you suppose we could make a quick stop to pick up some stuff at Sharpedo Cape before we head to Giant Volcano?" Ash asked the Freelance Police while Pikachu frantically tried to make sense of reality. "If I remember Tracey and the Professor's tour correctly, there's supposed to be an aquatic tunnel at the seaside base of the cliff leading to the caves inside that Water Pokemon smugglers used to hide their loot in olden days, before the Professor's most recent predecessor found it and filled it with books instead. We're trying to keep a low profile, and if we drove back to our hideout in your car overland, we'd lead our enemies right to our doorstep."

Sam frowned. "I dunno…we're on a tight schedule…and we're already doing _one_ favor by taking you to the volcano, why should we stop at your place to get some things?"

"There'll be food," Leo offered.

"Food! I'm in! I love food!" Max cheered.

Sam shrugged. "I guess we'll do it, then. Okay, get in."

"Is it safe?" Pikachu asked anxiously, noticing the DeSoto growling menacingly as Sam opened the doors and ushered them into the backseats.

"Not really, no," Sam said, hopping into the driver's seat.

"Shouldn't there be seatbelts?" Ash asked, looking around the back and recalling another faint memory from his human days.

Max laughed as he jumped into the front passenger's seat. "Seatbelts are for wimps!"

Sam pressed a button on the dashboard, and a canopy rose up from behind the backseat, passing over their heads and connecting with the bug-splattered windshield. Glass windows rose on either side of the car, and with a loud and rather sinister clunk the doors locked, sealing them in. Ash and Pikachu exchanged uncertain looks, while Leo was practically bouncing up and down on his seat with glee. "This is gonna be so cool!"

"All right everyone, hang on tight, because this is going to be a very bumpy ride!" Sam said, backing the DeSoto up and turning it so it faced the edge of the pier. "And if we should spring a leak and water starts gushing in, please refrain from screaming too loudly and do everyone a favor by drowning yourself so you won't bother anyone, namely, me."

Ash sweatdropped. "Uh, okay…"

"We're gonna die, aren't we?" Pikachu groaned.

"Soooo cooool!" Leo cried again.

Sam gunned the motor, shifted the car into 'drive', and raced for the edge of the pier. The DeSoto launched off the end and arced into the air, Max shrieking "Weeeee!" as they rose higher and higher, wheels spinning helplessly beneath them, so that it looked like they were going to cheat gravity and _fly_…

And then they dropped out of the sky like a stone and hit the water with a tremendous splash, vanishing beneath the surface. A pair of fishermon who had been sitting nearby and had watched everything in apathetic silence stared blankly as the disturbed water rippled and settled down. "Well," one said after a moment. "Don't see that every day."

"I do," the other said. The first one grunted and pushed him into the water.

…

Meanwhile, in Almiore…

"At last, we've reached Chicole Village!" Gary announced as he walked off the gangplank of Maren's boat and onto the waiting dock.

"It'sss about time," a rather thin and tired-looking Evan hissed as he weakly crawled down after Gary. "I thought you were never going to let me down!"

"We considered just leaving you there, actually, but decided you might come in handy," Mary said as she walked down behind Evan.

"As a meat shield!" Gary added. Evan would have sweatdropped if there were any moisture left in his body. They hadn't given him any water, either.

After a couple of days of sailing, they had reached Chicole Village, where the Compass Base suggested the next piece of the Compass was. It was a small fishing village with a number of cute, brightly-colored houses with pastel roofs and several Pokemon of varying species bustling about. Strangely, the extensive docks on the town's beach were filled with boats, and not just fishing boats either. There were quite a few commercial vessels, mini-yachts, and what looked like cruise liners too. Gary frowned as they walked into town, noticing lots of Pokemon in gaudily-colored outfits and stupid hats taking pictures of everything while locals led them about and gabbed about Chicole's incredible history as a small fishing town where nothing interesting ever happened. "That's funny…this place seems pretty popular for a fishing village in the middle of nowhere."

Maren was equally puzzled. "Our information said it was. I don't remember ever hearing it was a big attraction or something. So what are all these tourists doing here?"

They got their answer when a tour group led by a local Kricketot walked by. "-And that over there is Mrs. Beasley's house. Her family has lived there for over three centuries! And they're very reclusive, too. In fact, I don't think anyone's seen Mrs. Beasley in several years." He frowned. "I wonder if she's still alive…"

"That's all very nice," one of the tourists, a very fat and sweaty Snorlax, said politely. "But what about that giant snake we've been hearing rumors about? Are they true?"

Team Nightshade exchanged curious looks. "Giant snake?" Mary said.

"Don't suppose it's a relative of yours?" Gary asked Evan.

"I don't think ssso…" murmured Evan. "We're known for being relatively puny for our ssspeciesss…I'm actually one of the biggessst sssnakesss in my family!"

The Kricketot's expression turned somber. "Oh, I don't know if you'll want to hear that story. It's so grim and depressing-"

"Tell us! Tell us! Tell us!" the tourists cried excitedly.

"Wellll, all right," the insect said with a laugh, clearly not needing much persuasion. "For the last few months, our village has been terrorized by a terrible two-headed serpent Pokemon named Hissssa!"

"Hizza?" one of the tourists, a matronly Doduo, asked.

"No, Hissssa," the Kricketot corrected. "Every few weeks, she comes to the village and demands we sacrifice a virgin male who has just reached maturity to her or she shall devour us all! Many have tried to best her in battle or track her to her lair, where she supposedly keeps a great deal of treasure, but none have ever returned!"

"Ooooh," said the awed tourists.

"Hissssa is due to come to our village for the next sacrifice in just a few nights," the Kricketot said ominously. "And it would be best if you not be here when she comes, lest one of you or your children be chosen for the sacrifice!...But if you _do_ want to stay and watch, you'll have to buy tickets for the event at town hall. They sell like hotcakes, though, so you'd better hurry and get one while there's still seats left!"

"Oooh!" the tourists said, making notes to purchase tickets while there was still time.

Team Nightshade and Maren sweatdropped. "Are they profiting from a monster attack to attract tourist Poke'?!" asked an incredulous Mary.

"That's actually not a pretty bad business model," Gary admitted, grudgingly impressed.

"Yeah…" Evan frowned. "Though I feel like thisss monssster terrorizing a village and demanding a periodic sssacrifice thing hasss been usssed once already recently…"

"Hmm…I wonder if that's why the soldiers we sent to look for the Compass Piece here vanished," Maren murmured. "Maybe they tried to save the village from Hissa-"

"Hisssssssa," Evan corrected.

"And got eaten?" Maren finished.

"Hmm…they said she lives in a treasure-filled cave…" Gary pulled out the compass and examined the needle, which was pointing to the north. "Do you suppose she might have the piece we're looking for?"

One of the tourists, a Starly, suddenly gasped as she noticed Evan. "Ohmigosh, look! It's Hissssa!" The other tourists gasped as well and suddenly crowded around the Ekans, snapping pictures with very bright flashes and terrifying the snake.

"Aaah! Go away! Leave me alone! I'm not a monssster sssnake, doesss it look like I have two headsss?!" Evan wailed.

"Sorry folks, you've got the wrong serpent," Gary said, phasing through the tourists, grabbing Evan, and floating him out of their reach. This didn't stop them from taking lots and lots of pictures, though, as they flew off. "Evan, how do you keep getting yourself into these messes?" Gary scolded his teammate as they rejoined the group.

"It'sss not my fault! It'sss not like I go _looking_ for trouble!" Evan hissed angrily. "It jussst findsss me!"

"Yeah, whatever," Gary said, not really listening. "So, given the current situation, I think we need to get more information about Hissssa and what she's been doing to this town. And see if she has the Compass Piece we're looking for."

"There's an information booth over there," Mary said, pointing to a desk where an incredibly bored local was being asked stupid questions by idiot tourists about where they could find the bathroom or when Happy Hour was.

Evan shook his head. "That'sss jussst the tourissst ssstuff. We need the _real_ dirt."

Gary nodded in agreement. "And if this place is anything like Pokemon Square, then I know just the right Pokemon to ask about it! To the Mayor!"

"Okay," said Maren. "Where is he?"

Gary paused. "…To the information desk!" he reiterated. He walked over to the desk, rudely shoved the tourist asking whether they had free wi-fi out of the way, and asked, "Can you direct us to the Mayor's residence, please?" He got an answer, nodded, and walked back to the group. "Right! And _now_ to the Mayor!" The others sweatdropped.

…

Back in Pokemon Square…

Aaron had been somewhat displeased to find that his old house was temporarily uninhabitable due to a Paras infestation, so found himself having to room with the Thunderblades until the place could be cleaned out. He enjoyed hearing stories of what his old friend had been up to in the years since he had left town, getting to know more about the exploits of Pikachu and Ash (whom he had yet to meet) and bonding with his 'nephews' Pichu and the rather timid Matthias.

Raiki and Delia had gone out for a night on the town, leaving Aaron behind to babysit the kids. They were currently playing Frisbee in the backyard. Aaron was winning, naturally. "I don't get it," an astonished Matthias whispered to his adopted brother. "How does he keep _catching_ that thing? He's BLIND!"

"He doesn't need his eyes to see, duh," Pichu snorted. "He's too awesome for them!"

"Actually, I lost the use of my eyes sometime ago, so _can't_ see with them, but otherwise you are correct, Pichu, I don't need them to see," Aaron said from across the yard, causing the boys to jump.

"He can hear really well, too," Matthias murmured.

"Don't worry, I have a plan," Pichu said, whispering into Matthias' ear. Aaron heard them anyway, but decided not to tell them and ruin their fun.

"I don't think that'll work," said a skeptical Matthias.

"Sure it will!" Pichu said with the optimism of the foolish and the young, of which he was both. "Just play along." Matthias sighed, knowing there was no point in arguing.

"Aaron, look out!" Matthias shouted as Pichu sprinted away from him. "There's a horde of slavering monkey soldiers behind you, armed with lasers and Houndoom with Combees in their mouths so that when they bark they spit flaming Combees at you!"

"Where?" Aaron asked, playing around as he turned, his senses telling him exactly where Pichu was at that moment as the electric mouse threw the Frisbee at him. He waited, reflexes ready to grab the disc the instant it passed him…

Only for him to miss when an unfamiliar voice called out, startling him and breaking his focus. "Gramma, Grampa, we're home!"

Aaron's head whipped around in surprise, and the Frisbee flew past him, landing on the roof of the house. "Oops," said the embarrassed Pichu.

"Who said that?" asked the alarmed Aaron, scanning the house and detecting three unfamiliar—but not hostile—Auras inside, heading towards them.

Pichu gasped. "Oh boy! They're home!"

"Who's home?" the confused Matthias asked.

"My nephew and nieces in Team GX, of course!" Pichu said.

Matthias blinked. "…Aren't you a little young to be an uncle?"

"No," said Pichu.

"Gramma? Grampa? Dad? Pichu and Pikachu? Anyone home?" another voice cried.

"We're out here!" Pichu shouted. "We have a guest and a new member of the family!"

"A new guy? Ooh, has the baby come already?" asked a third voice.

"No, Dad adopted a new kid," Pichu replied.

"Awww," the voice said in disappointment.

The back door opened and three Pokemon younger than Pichu and Matthias—despite two of them being at higher evolutionary levels—came out into the backyard. They were a Togetic, a Donphan, and an Azurill. "Uncle Pichu!" the Donphan cried happily, rushing over to the much, MUCH smaller mouse, tackling him to the ground, and whacking him affectionately on the head with his trunk. "It's so good to see you! I missed you!"

"I-ow-missed-ow-you-ow-too, Junior," Pichu groaned.

"And you must be the new kid?" the Togetic asked as she floated over to the confused Matthias. "Welcome to the family!"

"Uh, thanks?" Matthias said. "But, um, who are you guys again?"

"We're Team GX!" the Azurill said, bouncing over. "Your nieces and nephew!"

"…Wait, what?!" asked the even more confused Matthias.

"Ah, I remember now, I believe Raiki mentioned you three," Aaron said. "You're the adopted children of Ash and Misty, right? Junior, Collette, and Sapphire? Which would technically make you Raiki and Delia's grandchildren, and the nephew and nieces of Pichu and young Matthias here? When you evolved to your present levels—several years ahead of schedule, I believe—you decided to form a Rescue Team and have spent the last few weeks out of town on some special mission for the Mayor, am I correct?"

"That's right!" said Junior the Donphan.

"And once Gramma has the new baby, we'll have another uncle or aunt!" the Togetic, Collette, said happily.

Matthias sweatdropped. "This family just keeps growing by the minute…wait, I didn't know Ash had children!"

"Well, technically we're not his children," Collette admitted. "I mean, he and Mom didn't lay eggs or anything."

"But Dad found my egg and Mom found Big and Little Sis's eggs, and we wound up imprinting on them when we hatched," Junior explained. "We call them both Mom and Dad, even though they keep saying they're not together for some reason. Which is totally stupid, since _everyone_ knows they're in love with each other."

"I hope they kiss and get married soon, so I can be a legitimate offspring!" the Azurill, Sapphire, squeaked. Matthias sweatdropped.

"So, what's your name, new Uncle? And who's that guy who's not Dad?" Junior asked.

"Um, my name's Matthias Shorttai—er, Thunderblade," he corrected himself, painfully recalling that the Shorttail clan might no longer exist.

"And that's Aaron, the legendary hero and former leader of Team Auraforce!" Pichu said, introducing his relatives to the elder Lucario.

"Woooowwwww!" they said in awe, clustering around the bemused hero.

"Grampa's told us all sorts of stories about you, but I thought you were just a myth!" said Junior. "Or dead." Aaron sweatdropped.

Collette whacked him. "Don't mind my brother, he's an idiot," she said apologetically. "But what are you doing here, Mister Aaron?"

"I have returned to Pokemon Square to help defend it from the coalition forming between some of the most notorious barbarian leaders in Kanjohenn, and perhaps avert an even greater evil from coming into being," Aaron said.

"Cooool," said Sapphire.

"We were out doing something about that ourselves," Collette said. "The Mayor sent us to search the continent to see if there might be any towns or groups of refugees that might have escaped the increasing barbarian attacks."

"Did you find any?" Pichu asked.

Collette shook her head sadly. "No…everyone's gone. Even the larger groups of wild Pokemon seem to have either gone into hiding or been destroyed…"

"Just like my family," whispered the horrified Matthias.

Aaron frowned. "That is very troubling news…"

"Speaking of which, ever since we got back just a little while ago we've been hearing something about Dad and Uncle Pikachu going off on a mission to another continent and Mom and Miss Gardevoir being captured or dead or something!" Junior spoke up. "We rushed home to find out the truth. What the heck have we missed while we were gone?!"

They quickly filled Team GX in on what had been happening recently. They didn't take the news well. "So…I don't understand, what happened to Mom?!" Collette asked.

"We don't really know," Pichu admitted. "Big Bro said in his email that some crazy flower dude told them she'd been 'sent to the stars,' whatever the heck that means."

"'Sent to the stars' as in killed, launched into space, or sent to Hollywood?" Junior asked.

Pichu shrugged. "No clue."

"Oh man…" Junior whimpered.

"I hope Mom's okay," Collette said, hugging her upset littler sister for reassurance.

"Your father will find her," Aaron assured them. "I do not possess the same sort of future-sight as Sabrina, nor have I had the privilege of meeting Ash in person, but I know enough about him and about the ways of Aura to say that he will find a way to save her and bring her back to you."

The kids looked relieved at this. "If it were anyone else saying that, we'd think it was just a hollow reassurance," said Collette.

"But from the legendary hero? That's practically a guarantee!" Junior said. Aaron laughed and rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

"So, where are Gramma and Grampa?" Sapphire asked.

"Out on a date," Pichu said. "Uncle Aaron's sitting."

"Oooh," the three members of Team GX said, impressed.

"Hey, if you're our sitter, that means you have to show us cool tricks!" Collette said.

"Yeah! Do something super-awesome!" Junior agreed.

Aaron smirked. "Well, if you insist…see that Frisbee over there on the roof?"

"You mean the one you failed to catch?" Pichu said smugly.

"The one that _you_ threw that almost broke Raiki and Delia's bedroom window?" Matthias pointed out, causing Pichu to sweatdrop and laugh nervously.

"I'm going to go get it," Aaron said.

"How? Some kind of super-jump?" asked the disappointed Junior.

"Yeah, we see those all the time," Collette agreed.

"Nope," said Aaron. "I'm going to fly."

"Fly?!" they all cried incredulously.

"But…Lucario can't fly!" Matthias protested.

"Well, Dad can't, anyway," Sapphire said.

"I can," said Aaron. "Watch." He channeled Aura into his feet, causing them to glow. That glow increased and suddenly burst out from the bottoms of his paws in blue flames, causing the children to yelp and back away. Much to their awe and wonder, Aaron slowly began to levitate into the air, propelled by the jets of Aura emitted by his feet. Controlling the amount of energy released from the flames, Aaron flew up to the roof of the house, where he easily picked up the Frisbee and lowered himself back to the ground. "I believe this is yours," the Lucario said as he handed the disk back to the slack-jawed Pichu.

"…THAT WAS TOTALLY AWESOME!" Junior screamed. "Can you teach Dad how to do that? Or me, for that matter?"

"Do it again! Do it again!" Sapphire shrieked.

"But upside-down!" Collette suggested.

Aaron shrugged. "Okay." He flipped over so he was standing on his hands, then released bursts of flame from his forepaws, lifting him into the air upside-down, just as the Togetic had requested. They applauded wildly. "Anything else?"

"He's incredible," murmured an awestruck Matthias as the others started shouting out requests for cool tricks.

"Showoff," Pichu grumbled sourly.

…

What did you think? I guess nothing much happened this chapter, but I introduced some new characters and set a few subplots that will be important later into motion.

For those who don't recognize them, Sam and Max are a couple of characters created by Steve Purcell who used to have a comic book series, then a cartoon, and are now getting a series of episodic computer games produced by Telltale games. I intend to make them into frequently recurring characters, so I apologize if that bothers you, but I've already found that pretty much anything is funnier with them added to it, so I'm going to give them a try.

What was your opinion of the Wigglytuff Guild and the other new characters introduced in this chapter?


	23. Enter the Fighting Four!

Finals are over! I've graduated from college! Hooray!

Now I have graduate school…

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters that don't belong to me.

…

Off the northwest coast of Sinnorre was a rather large and otherwise unremarkable island covered in mountains. The island was mostly uninhabited due to the harsh terrain and occasional seismic activity which shook the land, for the island had been birthed in a volcanic eruption millennia ago, and remnants of the violence which allowed it to form still rose to the surface now and then. The subterranean depths and caverns beneath the island were full of lava and fire, and only the hardiest of Fire-type Pokemon chose to make this unforgiving place their home.

All except for those who dwelled on Giant Volcano, the towering mount that was the focal point from which the island had risen, steaming, from the ocean in the distant past, layers and layers of lava pouring down from its summit and hardening over themselves to create the big landmass now floating in the center of the Miracle Sea. However, those who lived on the Volcano were not locals in the sense that they had been born and grew up there, rather, they had simply chosen to settle there and make it their home. Why, you ask? Well, because the not-quite-extinct volcano was a prime source of free power in the form of geothermal energy. The real estate was also surprisingly cheap. Not to mention it was a pretty awesome setting in which to hold tournaments for the world's greatest fighters to duke it out in the name of prizes, accolades, and petty cash!

The Volcano sat smoldering near the southern shores of the island, northeast of the windy Mt. Mistral, southeast of the ominous Dark Crater, and southwest of the fittingly named Blaze Cave. It wasn't quite in the center of the island, but considering its importance and how many Pokemon were constantly visiting it, it might as well have been. There was a harbor on the coast just south of the Volcano, a small town where the Pokemon who did all the maintenance and service work lived was set in the foothills at the base of the Volcano, and a complex lift system rose up the slopes to transport workers and visitors to the mountain's summit. For it was in the still-churning crater atop the Giant Volcano that the legendary Mt. Battle arena and the subsidiary hotels, shops, bars, Pokemon Center, and airship landing pad awaited, constructed on a series of very sturdy metal platforms and catwalks suspended above a lava-filled shaft which dug straight into the volcano's molten core and supplied the town of Battlus with the energy it needed to sustain itself.

Now, most Pokemon would know better than to build such a place right above a giant pit of lava, but the owner of Mt. Battle and most of Battlus, Busamo Ford, had thought ahead and had force-field generators installed to create a cushion of invisible energy beneath the various platforms and bridges that made up the complex that not only kept people drunken or foolish enough to fall over the railings from taking a lava bath, but also kept the Volcano from erupting and destroying everything. As a result, wealthy tourists, fighters, and workers could bustle about happily without worrying (much) about suddenly being consumed in fiery death. Support struts and pipes which funneled the heat, steam, and molten rock from the lava flows into the complex's generators were the only things that bisected the force field.

A matronly Absol in her seventies with her species' signature snowy-white fur and red eyes sat on the rim of the Volcano near where the lift from the base let off, staring down into the crater and marveling at the wonders modern science had wrought. She had spent most of her life in the wilderness (For while most civilized Pokemon these days recognized the stories of Absols causing disasters to be superstition, not everyone felt comfortable with having one living next door. And the majority of Absols preferred the outdoors anyway, so…), but was not as short-sighted as many of her 'neighbors' and understood the many benefits technology could bring to the world. She was also aware of the many catastrophes it could cause, but then again she was a Disaster Pokemon, so there you go. Her innate disaster-sense was nagging her fiercely, but considering that she was sitting on the top of a not-quite-dormant volcano (and because there was a rather enormous Omniverse-threatening crisis on the horizon she didn't know much about other than a vague sense that she would have some involvement in stopping it), she figured she could ignore it. Her sense wasn't always as accurate as she liked, and sometimes seemed to react more to the _potential_ for a disaster rather than one that was definitely going to happen. It wasn't as if her species possessed the same ability for foresight as a Xatu, after all. It was easy to make a false alarm (Which was probably another reason city Pokemon sometimes got a little edgy where her kind was concerned. It took just a few incidents of 'crying Mightyena' before people started clamoring for your eviction…).

She had arrived at the Volcano fairly recently, as her Master had told her to, but as of yet had not found whoever it was she was supposed to be helping. After searching the service town and Battlus without seeing any familiar faces, she decided that whomever she was looking for hadn't arrived yet, so planted herself near the lift exit so she could observe the Pokemon coming up and down the slopes and see if she recognized them. She also had a good view of the airship landing pad from where she was sitting, and had pretty good eyesight despite her advancing age, so thought that if her target was coming in from the skies, she could see them from there.

Her senses pinged abruptly, detecting…_something_ approaching. She glanced southward, towards the ocean, rather perplexed. It didn't _feel_ like a big disaster such as a tsunami or some kind of Water Pokemon attack, but she could still sense some kind of potential for trouble and chaos. She narrowed her eyes and focused out on the great blue expanse, wondering if the Pokemon she had been looking for was about to appear.

She did not expect a vintage fifties DeSoto Adventurer to burst out of the water in a spray of foam and drive up onto the beach, smashing some flimsy harbor buildings and overturning several boats in the process. Her eyes widened in astonishment as the dripping-wet vehicle, covered in kelp with some Tentacool, Staryu, Octillery, and Corsola plastered to the hood and top drove towards the Volcano at ridiculous speeds, leaving the coast and the disturbance it had caused behind it. Rather than slowing down as it reached the service town, the car actually _sped up_, driving over the rocks and bumpy foothills at the base of the mountain and, to her amazement, actually started climbing the slope of the Volcano at a steady clip, something she was pretty sure defied several laws of physics. She was so rapt by the sight of the approaching impossibility and the sense of potential chaos that was literally rippling off it that she didn't realize it was going to pop over the rim near where she was sitting before it was almost too late. She quickly dove to the side as the car flew up and over the edge of the Volcano's lip, landing heavily on the solid rock just a few inches away from her and throwing up dust and gravel. Rather than stopping, however, like any sane individual would do, the car _kept going_, racing right for the inner edge of the rim that went down into the crater. As a result, the Absol only got a split-second glance into the vehicle as it rushed by her, but that glance was enough to tell her what she needed to know. The car's passengers were a strange brown creature in a hat and jacket that was not a Lucario, a giddily manic white thing that was not a Buneary, a shiny Lucario with glasses and a bushy mustache clutching a Minun in terror, and a Wartortle wearing sunglasses with an expression of utmost joy and excitement on his face. Something within her, perhaps a signal from her Master, told her that these were indeed the individuals she had been sent to assist.

But it looked like she was going to have to catch them before she could help them. The DeSoto drove towards and flew right off the inner edge of the rim, soaring above the crater below. Her jaw dropped in wonder. It almost looked as if the vehicle was _flying…_

Of course, if it were actually capable of flight, it probably would have steered around the hotel jutting up right in its path. Instead, it crashed right into it, the front end smashing through a window and getting stuck inside, leaving the rear end sticking out, its tires spinning and smoke rising from a pipe on its end.

She blinked as Pokemon nearby and in the crater gaped at the wreck in astonishment, the buzzing of her disaster senses lessening due to the DeSoto's hazardous journey coming to an abrupt end. She shook herself in bemusement (and to get the dirt out of her fur) and trotted into the crater to try and intercept the car's passengers before they got themselves into anymore trouble…or before the town's security got them. Somehow, she got the feeling this was going to be an interesting adventure…

…

Sam turned the key and removed it from the ignition. That didn't stop the car from purring somewhat, but it was a demonically possessed car, so you had to expect that sort of thing. "Well, I think that was a pretty tame drive compared to some of the other things we've done," he said to Max.

Max yawned. "Yeah, other than that bit where we got chased by a giant sea monster, I thought it was pretty boring. Hey, you guys back there still alive?"

Ash and Pikachu couldn't respond because they were completely paralyzed by fear and holding onto each other so tightly that their bones might break if they tried to let go. They had also dug rather deep dents into the floor and door, and in their frenzied attempts to escape left scratches in the frame and upholstery from which lots of stuffing oozed out. But there had been leaking stuffing before, so it didn't make that big a difference. Leo was beaming, a look of pure elation on his face as the adrenaline slowly ebbed from his body. "That. Was. So. COOL! Let's do it again!" he screamed.

"NO!" Ash and Pikachu screamed in terror.

"Lightweights," Max sneered.

"Well, now that we're here, we should probably get out and take a look around," Sam said, opening the driver's side door and stepping out into the hotel room they had crashed into. Max got out the passenger's side door, followed by Leo, and a desperate Ash and Pikachu clawed their way out of the car, not wanting to spend a second longer in the death machine, especially since their seats were in the half sticking out into space.

They found themselves in a very fancy suite with nice mass-produced art hanging from the walls, a huge plasma-screen TV, shag carpeting, a mini-kitchen, and a king-size bed on which an Electivire and an underage Nidorina that was probably not his wife huddled, eyeing the five trespassers with wide, fright-filled eyes.

"Get a room, you two!" Max yelled at the couple.

"I think this is their room," Leo said.

"Oh. Never mind then," Max said.

"Are we alive? I'm not sure we're alive. Is my heart beating?" Ash asked, pinching himself to make sure he hadn't died at some point along their journey to Giant Volcano.

"How did we possibly do all of that without getting a single scratch?" Pikachu whispered, shivering at the memories of all the harrowing, death-defying, impossible, crazy, nerve-wracking stunts they had pulled off.

"Nothing can harm the ol—er, the girl permanently!" Sam said, patting the DeSoto's hood lovingly and getting a happy rev in return and glassy stares from the aquatic Pokemon plastered to the car's body. "Not even Hell was tough enough to keep her!"

"Though that might have something to do with us busting her out. Along with a buncha other damned souls. Most of whom we'd sent there to begin with…" Max said.

"We sent some of them back," Sam said. "By running them over."

"Yeah, that was neat," Max said fondly.

"Soooo cooool," Leo reiterated giddily.

"Anyway, we should get out of here before some meddling authorities show up and try to arrest us," Sam said.

"Awww, but Sam, I was hoping we'd get into a firefight!" Max whined.

"Maybe later, Max," Sam said. "All right, nobody forget where we parked!"

The quintet left the building just as a group of burly security Pokemon rushed in to see what was going on. "Is it a good idea to just leave the DeSoto up there?" Leo asked, glancing at the car, which was still sticking halfway out of the side of the building.

"She can take care of herself," Sam said.

"And besides, who'd want to give up a choice parking space like that?" Max asked.

"But how will you get it out of there when you need to drive it again?" Pikachu asked.

"The elevator," said Sam.

Pikachu blinked. "The…" He sweatdropped. "Never mind."

Sam glanced around at the myriad Pokemon bustling about, the soot-streaked metal platforms and tall buildings with bright neon lights juxtaposed against the bright blue sky, the bubbling lava pit far below them. He inhaled deeply and sighed fondly. "Ah, can't you just smell the sulfur, Max?"

"Yeah, smells like every other volcano and hellpit we've ever been in," Max grunted.

"Anyway, fellows, I believe this is where we need to part ways," Sam said to Team Aurabolt. "We have separate missions, after all."

"We do?" asked Ash. "I thought you were here for the same reason we were."

Max shook his head. "Nah, while you three are screwing around in some battle tournament, we've got MUCH more important business to take care of!"

Sam nodded in agreement. "That's right! The Commissioner sent us here for one reason, and one reason only…it seems that one of the hotdog vendors in this place has been selling stale wieners in his buns for quite some time now, and we have to put a stop to it!"

"Someone could get food poisoning, you know," Max said.

The trio stared at them incredulously. "…Wait a minute, _that's_ the big mission you came here to do?! To make a hot dog vendor sell healthy food?!" Ash asked in disbelief.

"Yes," said Sam. "Not everyone has the same iron constitution we do. You could get sick and die on those things!"

"Yeah, that's why nobody ever eats the wieners at Bosco's. Now _those_ are some stale hot dogs!" Max said. "So stale that they've been named a national historical landmark!"

"But-but-but…you traveled from one universe to another _just to enforce food health standards?!"_ Pikachu cried.

"Yes," said Sam.

"Oh, and the Commissioner wanted us to get him a souvenir. One of those snow globe things, with a mini-replica of the volcano in it. He collects that sort of crap," Max said.

"Neat!" said Leo. Pikachu's eye twitched as his brain struggled not to break under the sheer absurdity of their encounter with the otherworldly duo.

"Anyway, we should get going," Sam said. "It was nice meeting you all."

"Goodbye, losers!" Max said as he and Sam walked off.

"Thanks for the autographs!" Leo said, waving to the Freelance Police as they vanished into the crowd. "Man, that was totally awesome. I hope we run into them again."

"I don't," Ash said with a grimace.

"You realize we probably will, though," Leo pointed out.

Ash sighed. "Yeah, I know, I know…"

"So," Pikachu said, firmly trying to put every thought of their disturbing adventure with Sam and Max out of his head. "What do we do now?"

"Head for Mt. Battle, I guess," Ash said. He looked at his teammates. "Do we have everything? We didn't leave anything in the car, did we?"

Pikachu shook his head. "I don't think so. And even if we did, I'm not getting within ten feet of that death trap ever again…"

"You think anyone watching the tournament will be fooled by our disguises?" Leo asked.

"I hope so," said Ash. "The Professor and Tracey seemed to think they'd be sufficient, though." After Sam and Max had rescued Team Aurabolt and (somehow) driven them back to Sharpedo Cape, they had grabbed all their stuff and allowed themselves to be furnished with a new set of disguises.

Ash was still a Lucario, but his colors had been switched with fur dye to make him look 'shiny', and he had a big pair of glasses and a fake bushy mustache at the end of his snout. They had decided to call him 'Gonzales,' because that seemed like a good name.

Pikachu had a similar costume to when he was Proto the Plusle, except now everything was blue and with minus rather than plus signs, making him a Minun. He still had a sword, because he insisted on bringing one, but it wasn't his cherished Thunder Fang, since that was too distinctive a weapon and someone might recognize it. He had been forced to take a blade of much inferior make from some of the relics and old loot the smugglers who had used to live in the Cape must have left behind. It wasn't nearly as good as his family's sacred sword, but he supposed it would do. He had decided to take the pseudonym of 'Minus,' because everyone else seemed to think it sounded cool.

Leo had fake ear fins and fur had been glued to his tail to make it look longer and…well, hairier. He had also been painted gold from head to toe, so that his skin and shell seemed to gleam. Several chains and bead necklaces hung from his neck, and he had lots of real and fake jeweled rings on his fingers. And he was wearing his magic sunglasses, of course. He had decided to be called 'King K,' and wanted to act 'gangsta' like Bowzah, despite the protests of pretty much everyone else

"So which way is it to Mt. Battle?" Pikachu asked.

"Let me see." Ash tried to scan the area with his Aura-sight…and started. "What the…I can't see anything!"

Pikachu frowned. "What? You can't use your Aura-sight?!"

Ash shook his head. "No! I don't understand why…it's not like I'm being blinded by glare from some large living energy source, or something evil's clouding my vision, I just…can't see anything. There's nothing there when I close my eyes. What's going on?"

"Oh, that's the dampening field," Leo said.

They stared at him. "The what now?" Ash asked.

"The dampening field. It's an energy field they generate here to keep Pokemon fighting in the arena from using mind or emotion-reading abilities to see what their opponents are thinking and cheat in the ring. Or from cheating in any of the gambling areas, or discovering private info, or stuff like that. This is the sort of place where lots of big and not necessarily legal business deals go down, and Pokemon of high status generally feel safer if they think there's no way someone could eavesdrop on their minds and find out what they're up to," Leo explained. "That's probably why you can't use your Aura-sight here, and why my sunglasses' Pokedex won't function. The field only covers the crater, though, outside everything should work fine."

"Why didn't you mention this earlier?!" Pikachu asked.

Leo shrugged. "It wasn't relevant to the plot." They sweatdropped.

"So, I can't use Aura-sight or read people's Auras…" Ash sighed. He concentrated, and his paws burst into flame. "Well, at least I can still use my Aura offensively."

"That still leaves us with the question of where Mt. Battle is," Pikachu said.

"Uh, duh?" Leo said, pointing to a very large building suspended over the center of the crater. It was one of the biggest structures in Battlus, a vaguely dome-shaped pagoda with a glowing yellow roof lit with neon, and spotlights—currently switched off—which could illuminate the night sky and serve as landing beacons for airships. A giant metal Exploud head with spotlights for eyes hung over the great pillared archway framing the stairs leading to the glass front and sliding doors that allowed entry into the great structure, its big jaws opening and closing mechanically with an occasional simulated roar. The words 'MT. BATTLE' flashed on a sign directly underneath the Exploud's mouth, where everyone could see it. Video boards and holograms advertising the tournament and displaying some of the famous fighters who would be competing in it hung from the walls or rose from the roof. "It's right over there."

Pikachu sweatdropped. "That answers that question…"

Ash blinked. "How did we not see that earlier?!"

"I guess we should head over there, then," Pikachu said. "The Professor told us that to enter the tournament, we'll need to talk to the owner, Busamo Ford."

"This is gonna be so cool!" Leo said eagerly. "Back in the day, Ford was an awesome fighter! He's retired now, but he's still in great shape! Do you think I could get his autograph? Or the autographs of any of the other famous fighters that're gonna be in the tournament? Oh man, this is totally-"

"Leo!" Pikachu said sternly. "Remember what we talked about?"

Leo blinked. "Huh? Oh, right…" His shoulders sagged. To help keep up their disguises; he had to pretend to be a jock and not act like a fanboy whenever he saw something that would normally make him geek out. "Yeah, let's go see him. The tournament is supposed to start tonight, but they still accept entrants up until the last minute for the sake of drama and to ensure there'll be tons of good fighters."

"That's awfully convenient," Ash said.

"Yeah, isn't it?" Leo said. Pikachu rolled his eyes.

They started towards the platform Mt. Battle was sitting on. When they were halfway there, however, they heard an unfamiliar voice shout, "WAIT!" Ash and Pikachu immediately stiffened and got into combat stances, anticipating trouble. Leo glanced around anxiously, wishing the dampening field wasn't keeping his Pokedex power from working so he could see who was coming towards them. Was someone who knew them here? Had somebody seen through their disguises?

He tensed when he saw an Absol running towards them, shoving some of the tourist and service Pokemon out of its way, unmindful of their yells of surprise or indignation. Was it a Nihilator? Someone who wanted a fight? Well, if it was a fight they wanted, it was a fight they'd…wait, why were Ash and Pikachu letting their guards down?

"No way," whispered a surprised Ash.

"It can't be," agreed an equally surprised Pikachu. "What's she doing here?!"

"Uh, do you know her?" a confused Leo asked.

Ash smirked. "Know her? Hell, we wouldn't be here now if it weren't for her!"

Leo blinked. "Huh?"

The Absol skidded to a halt in front of them. "Ash, Pikachu! I thought it was you! I've been looking everywhere for the two of you! What are you doing here?"

"Well, we-" Ash started, until he noticed Pikachu subtly shaking his head at him. "Uh, I mean, sorry ma'am, but you must have mistaken us for someone else. I'm Gonzales, and this is my partner Minus."

"And I'm King K, yo," Leo said. "Whassup, biatch?"

"We don't know who this 'Ash' or 'Pikachu' are, but perhaps we could help you find them?" Pikachu suggested.

The Absol gave them a confused look. "What? What are you talking-"

Ash put a paw on her shoulder and led her away from the crowd of annoyed and confused Pokemon staring at them. "Why don't we talk about helping you find your friends somewhere less public? You know, _away from prying eyes?_"

The Absol quickly caught on. "Ah. Of course. That would be nice." She allowed herself to be dragged away.

"Come on," Pikachu said to Leo, following his brother.

Leo scratched his head, completely dumbfounded. "Isn't anyone gonna tell me what's going on?...Homes."

…

In the relative privacy of a nearby juice bar, the group was able to talk freely without fear of being overheard by somebody who could blow their cover. Ash and Pikachu explained to Leo that the Absol was a good friend of theirs named Sasha, and they might have died several months ago were it not for their help. Back when Kanjohenn was being wracked with natural disasters and nobody was aware that they were being caused by an approaching meteor and the awakening Groudon, Gary, who had still been an evil jerk at that time, had played on the fear and paranoia of the townsPokemon of Pokemon Square to convince them that Ash was the infamous human of legend who had been cursed by a Ninetales a thousand years ago and was prophesized to bring great destruction when he was reincarnated. (It later turned out Gary was actually the human, but nobody knew it then.) Ash had been forced to flee Pokemon Square with the help of Pikachu, who refused to believe his new best friend and teammate could possibly be causing all that trouble. They had journeyed to Mt. Freeze to learn the truth for themselves from the Ninetales from the legend, Krysta, pursued by Team A.C.T. all the way. Outside Frosty Forest, a frozen wood at the base of the mountain, they encountered Sasha, a local of those parts. With her inborn sense for disasters, she believed at once that Ash could not be the source of the current chaos, and joined them to help them navigate the forest and scale the mountain to Krysta's domain. Team A.C.T. had caught up to them just as they reached the peak, but the Ninetales had saved them and informed them that he was not the cursed human of the prophecy. With his name cleared, Ash was free to return to Pokemon Square, and offered Sasha a home there as well. She declined the offer; feeling more suited to the wilderness, but consented to take a Rescue Team badge so that she would always be connected to them as a member of Team Aurabolt. They had never seen her after that day…until now, that was.

"Wow! A bunch of old friends bumping into each other out of the blue…what're the odds?" an amazed Leo asked.

Pikachu frowned. "That's a good question, actually…Sasha, it's nice seeing you, but…what are you doing here? This is a little far outside your usual territory, isn't it?"

Sasha hesitated for a moment, unsure how much she should tell them. Her master had ordered her to assist them, but other than that, he had been rather vague on her mission and whether or not they should know what power she served. She decided a mix of truth and lies wouldn't hurt. "I sensed that there was a great crisis coming…and something told me that if I went to Giant Volcano, I might find a way to stop it. And who do I find but my good friends Ash and Pikachu! It seems like I came to the right place, doesn't it?"

"I guess so," said Ash.

"Ooh, then you saw the future? Neat! Got any prophecies for us?" Leo asked eagerly.

"Her ability doesn't work the same as a Psychic's precognition," Pikachu said. "She has this sort of…chaos sense that tells her the potential for disaster in the Pokemon and places around her. Mind you, she senses the potential, which is not always the same thing as knowing that something bad will definitely happen, just that it might."

Leo shrugged. "Still pretty cool. Er…wait, unless you see it as a curse or something?"

Sasha shrugged. "It has its good sides and its bad sides. I've learned to live with it."

"K," said Leo.

"I don't suppose you can tell us anything concrete about this coming crisis? We know parts of what's going to happen, but not the whole thing," Ash said.

Sasha shook her head apologetically. "You probably know more than I do. I do not know when or where it will occur; just that it is coming, and soon…but 'soon' could mean months in the future, or even tomorrow. I don't think it will be tomorrow, though," she said quickly, noticing the alarmed looks on their faces. "At least, it didn't feel that way when I was out on the rim of the volcano, waiting for you. Not that I knew you were who I was waiting for, but…"

"What were you doing out there?" asked the puzzled Pikachu.

"Like I said, my chaos sense told me that I might find someone or something to help stop the coming disaster if I came to the volcano. However, the dampening field in the crater keeps that sense from functioning, so I had to go outside it if I was to have any luck using it to identify the Pokemon I had come all this way to find," she told them.

"How did you know we were even here, then, considering we arrived inside the crater, where your sense doesn't work, just like my Aura-sight?" Ash asked.

"Because I saw you smash into the side of a building inside a strange wheeled contraption," Sasha said. "And I followed you from there."

Ash sweatdropped. "Ah."

"We _did_ make a rather conspicuous entrance, didn't we?" Pikachu said sheepishly. "So much for playing it low-profile…"

"I was meaning to ask you about that," Sasha asked. "Why are you in disguise?"

"We'll tell you that when you tell _us_ how you were able to see through them," Leo said.

"I'm more observant than most people," she said. "I have to be, to spot possible natural disasters and other kinds of hazards."

"Fair enough," Leo conceded.

"So…the reason?" Sasha prompted.

After making sure nobody nearby might be eavesdropping, they quietly explained the situation to her in its entirety. She raised an eyebrow, mildly impressed. "So you're entering the tournament to retrieve an artifact that might allow an evil organization to destroy the world? That's a new one."

"Actually, it's done all the time, but new for us," Leo said. "Well, these guys anyway."

Sasha nodded. "Very well. Now that I understand the situation, I feel I have no choice but to force my way onto your team."

Ash frowned. "Are you sure?"

"My instincts told me that if I came here I would find someone who could stop the coming crisis. Now that I've found you, I am obligated to help you in any way I possibly can," Sasha told them. "It is the way of my kind."

Ash and Pikachu exchanged glances. "I think we could accept that," Ash said finally.

Pikachu nodded. "And it'll help our cover, too. The Nihilators are looking for a Squirtle, Lucario, and Pikachu. But a Lucario, Minun, Wartortle, _and_ an Absol? An unusual combination, but certainly not one that will make them suspect who we truly are."

Ash grinned broadly. "In that case…welcome back to Team Aurabolt, Sasha! You've been sorely missed."

Sasha bowed her head in gratitude. "It is an honor to be fighting alongside such fine warriors as yourselves in a good cause once again."

"Waitwaitwait, hold up!" Leo protested. "You're letting her on the team just like that?!"

"Technically, she never _stopped_ being part of the team," Pikachu pointed out. "She kept the badge and everything; she just…sort of became a reserve member."

"We seem to have an awful lot of those…" Ash murmured.

"But why aren't you making her go through all the hoops you had me and Michael do?!" Leo cried.

"Actually, we intended to induct Michael all along, but we were waiting for a good moment," Pikachu said.

"And we had doubts about you because you were…well…not exactly fit enough to join us when we first met you," Ash said. "You've gotten better, though."

Leo sweatdropped. "Wow, thanks, that really means a lot…"

"So what is our next step?" Sasha asked her new/old teammates.

"Same as it was before we ran into you, head to Mt. Battle and enroll in the tournament before they stop accepting entrants," said Ash.

"We should probably give Sasha some kind of stage name and costume to keep her real identity a secret and decrease the likelihood that anyone could connect her to us, both now and later," Pikachu said. "Since she's been here waiting for us for…how long?"

"A couple of days," Sasha said. "And you're right, people have noticed me coming and going, though I never offered my name. It is doubtful that there is anyone who will be watching the tournament that could recognize a reclusive Pokemon like me, but just to be safe, what do you think I should call myself?"

"Oh, do you know any Ice attacks? If so, we could call you 'Absol-ute Zero!" Leo suggested. They stared at him. He looked down, his face red with embarrassment. "Right, bad pun, sorry…"

Sasha shook her head. "I do not know any Ice attacks. My species can't learn any without the help of TMs, which aren't exactly available to me since I live in the wild."

"We could probably buy some," Ash said.

"There is no way we're going to be calling her something as stupid as Absol-ute Zero," Pikachu said flatly.

"What kind of attacks _do_ you know?" Leo asked.

"Leer, Taunt, Razor Wind, Bite, Swords Dance, Future Sight, Double Team, Me First, Night Slash, Psycho Cut…" Sasha recited from memory.

"Ooh, what was that last one?" Leo asked.

"Psycho Cut?" Sasha said.

"No, the one before that," said Leo.

She frowned. "Night Slash?"

"Yeah, that's the one! I think that'd make a good name for a fighter, wouldn't it?" Leo said to the others.

"Night Slash…it has a nice ring to it," Pikachu admitted. "And it's certainly better than Absol-ute Zero!"

"Anything's better than that," Ash agreed.

Sasha nodded. "Very well. Then while in public and in the ring, I will go by the name of Night Slash."

"Cool!" said Leo. "Our first female team member! And hopefully, there will be more to come, one of which, Arceus willing, I'll fall in love with. No offense Sasha, but you're not my type. And I think you're a little old for me…" The others sweatdropped.

"Now we just need a name for our team," Ash said thoughtfully.

"Team M.A.W.L.?" Leo suggested. They stared at him. "It's from the first letters of our alleged species names."

"No," said Pikachu.

"Team Radical?" Leo suggested.

"No," said Pikachu.

"Team Awesome?" Leo persisted.

"No," said Pikachu.

"Team Screaming Heavy Metal Death?" Leo offered. They stared at him. "What?"

"Leo, you are never to come up with names for things again. You're even worse than Ash is," Pikachu said sternly.

"Yeah!" Ash agreed. He paused. "Hey, wait a minute…"

"All right…" Leo said, crestfallen.

"How about 'Fighting Four?'" Sasha suggested. "Since there are four of us, and we are all fighting?"

Pikachu shrugged. "That works."

"Yeah, it sounds like the name of a superhero team! Or a supervillain one…" Leo said.

"I like it," said Ash. "The Fighting Four it is!"

…

So christened, the foursome headed for the Mt. Battle arena…after taking a few moments in private to use makeup to give Sasha a few fake scars, that is. Entering through the sliding glass doors beneath the chomping Exploud head, they found themselves in a palatial lobby with a black and white tiled marble floor, decorative pillars in the corners and against the walls which rose up towards the ceiling high above them, glittering chandeliers, red carpets creating paths from the front door to the various stage and service entrances and stairways leading to other parts of the building, holograms showing off some of the high-profile fighters expected to fight in the tournament, and, of course, dozens and dozens of Pokemon eagerly walking about to take in the sweet digs, getting tickets, giving interviews, talking to friends, or in general just hanging out. "Big place," said an impressed Ash.

"And this is just the lobby! They've got over a dozen different rings in this place, of all shapes and sizes, with tons of gimmicks and crowd-pleasers, all designed so that you can have tons of Pokemon fighting each other at the same time and create a non-stop palace of battling! _I can't believe we're actually here!_ THIS IS SO COOOOL!" Leo shrieked. Everyone stared at him. He laughed nervously. "Uh, what I mean is…eh, it's not so big. We got swanker pads back in the hood!...Yo."

"There are a lot of Pokemon here…" Sasha murmured uneasily, not fond of crowds.

"Who do we need to talk to about entering the tournament?" Ash wondered.

"How about over there?" Pikachu suggested, pointing to a glass window right next to the ticket and betting windows with a flashing sign that read 'TOURNAMENT APPLICANTS' over it. Unlike the other windows, there was no incredibly long line, and from the bored expression on the pimply-faced teenage Poliwhirl standing behind the window, he wasn't expecting anyone to show up.

They shot down his hopes of closing up and going home early by quickly rushing over and grabbing his attention. "Hi, we'd like to enter the tournament please?" Ash asked, startling the frog-thing out of his daydreams about chilling in his apartment and watching some episodes of 'Females Gone Wild' with his roommates over pizza and beer.

"Uh, are you sure?" the Poliwhirl asked in a rather hoarse voice. "You're pretty close to the deadline…we're starting in another hour or two…"

"Yeah, but there are still spots open, aren't there?" Pikachu pointed out. "Otherwise you wouldn't still be here."

"For real, dawg!" Leo said.

"I…guess," the Poliwhirl said reluctantly. "Well, if you _really_ want to, I guess I could see if Mr. Ford has time for an interview…" He turned away from them and picked up a phone hanging from the wall next to him. "Yeah, Mr. Ford? This is Pete down in the lobby…a bunch of last-minute applicants have shown up for the tournament. You want a look at them, or should I send them off?...Oh? You want to see them? You sure? I mean, we have a lot of guys already…Sorry, sir…I didn't mean to tell you what you could or couldn't do…that's right, you're the boss sir, and I'm just the guy who tells you when people show up who want to fight in your arena, I won't overstep my responsibilities again sir…Hmm?" He glanced at the group. "They're a team of four, sir. An Absol, a Wartortle, a Minun, and a Lucario. Yes, you heard that right, a Lucario, we don't see their kind around here much, do we sir?...You want their names?" He held the phone away from him for a moment. "What're your names again?"

"Gonzales," said Ash.

"Minus," said Pikachu.

"King K!...Dude," Leo said.

"Night Slash," Sasha finished.

"And together we're…the Fighting Four!" Leo cried, making a dramatic pose. They stared at him. "…Guys, you're supposed to be doing this too."

"Why?" asked Ash.

"Oh, never mind…dumbasses," Leo grumbled.

"Right, they're Gonzales, Minus, King K, and Night Slash, and call themselves the Fighting Four. Yes, I know it's a stupid name, sir, but that's what they said," the Poliwhirl told Ford while the team sweatdropped. "Okay, I'll send them in." He hung up the phone. "Mr. Ford would like to see you."

"Yatta!" said Leo. Pikachu glared at him. "Uh, I mean, yahoo!"

"Great!" said Ash. "Where do we go?"

"I'll escort you there, sirs," said an enormous Feraligatr in a black suit and sunglasses that had snuck up behind them so quietly that absolutely none of them had noticed he was there until it was too late, even the ones with good hearing and senses of smell, so they all jumped in alarm when he spoke up.

"How did you do that?!" asked an astonished Pikachu, his chest heaving.

"Practice," the Feraligatr said.

"Don't do it again, I almost had a heart attack!...word!" Leo said, sucking on his inhaler.

"You will take us to see Ford?" Sasha asked as she recovered her breath.

The Feraligatr nodded. "Yes, sirs. If you'll follow me, please…"

He led them to an elevator which took them up to the top floor of the arena. Once there, he led them through a labyrinth of hallways carpeted in plush red rugs with mini-chandeliers hanging from the ceiling and ornate mirrors framed on the walls, passing by several Pokemon rushing from place to place with big piles of paper and/or money in their hands, no doubt statistics on the fighters in the impending tournament and some of the early takes they were getting from the gamblers already placing bets on which fighter had a chance of winning it all, even though the series of matches for the tournament hadn't been set yet. Some Pokemon just had that much faith in a particular combatant…or, more likely, were incredibly stupid. But that summed up most gamblers pretty well, didn't it? There were also quite a few very large security Pokemon clothed in dark suits like their guard, glaring ominously at everyone and making sure nobody snuck by with stolen cash or important documents.

Eventually, they reached a simply adorned door with a brass plaque reading "FORD" embossed on the front. The Feraligatr opened the door and ushered them in, closing it behind them and standing guard outside. The office was surprisingly plain compared to the palatial appearance of the rest of Mt. Battle, with a linoleum tiled floor, blank walls with only a few pictures hanging from them, and some rather ordinary furniture and potted plants. There was also a large cabinet full of trophies, awards, and other prizes, but it was shoved against one of the walls out of the way as if to imply the mon who had won them didn't really care about showing them off. The mon in question was a Blaziken in his late sixties with graying hair, dark glasses (a lot of the Pokemon here seemed to wear shades, didn't they?), a rather nice porkpie hat, and a crystal-topped cane sitting behind a rather plain desk loaded with stacks and stacks of important documents and a cup of coffee or two. The only thing even remotely ostentatious about the office was that the entire back wall behind the Blaziken was made up of floor-to-ceiling windows offering an impressive view of the crater town of Battlus. The old Blaziken smiled and rose to his feet as the team approached the desk. "Ah, and you must be the Fighting Four! Welcome, welcome to Mt. Battle! I am the owner of this fine establishment, Busamo Ford!"

"Dude! This is so totally…uh…nice place, pops," Leo said, quickly changing his tack so as not to sound like a fanboy.

Ford shrugged as he walked around the desk to greet them. "It's the way I like it. Now…" He shook Ash's hand. "Gonzales, was it? I take it you're the leader of this fine foursome of fighters?"

"Uh, yeah, how'd you guess?" Ash asked, privately impressed by how firm Ford's grip was and how toned his muscles were. He seemed very strong for an old mon who probably spent most of his days behind a desk.

Ford smirked. "You have the look of a leader, son…though you also look a little silly with those glasses and mustache."

Pikachu tried not to snicker. "I, uh, need these to see," Ash said. "Prescription. And I've been told the mustache makes me look distinguished."

"Whoever told you that is a dirty liar," Ford said cheerfully, causing Pikachu to struggle not to burst into laughter. Leo frowned, seeing as how Ash's facial disguise had been his idea. "Anyway, I'm a little surprised to see one of your kind around here, we don't get many Lucarios in these parts."

"Really? Why?" asked the surprised Ash.

Ford shrugged. "Oh, the usual diatribe about honor and courage and how fighting for profit and fame is disgraceful and all that. But clearly you must not feel that way, or else you wouldn't be here, right?"

Ash stiffened slightly, for he did indeed feel that way. He managed to control his emotions and say, "Well, I did once, but…hey, we all gotta pay the bills, right?"

Ford laughed and smacked his knee with his free hand. "Well said, boy, well said!" He chuckled and walked back behind his desk. "Now, since you came all this way, I suppose you want to enter the tournament starting tonight, right? Well, you're a bit close to the deadline, even by my loose standards, but...I think the crowd would love to watch an honest to goodness Lucario in the ring! Imagine all the people that'll come in to see some of your species' legendary Aura techniques in action! You might even unseat the current champion, Wes…though I highly doubt it!"

"Uh, thanks?" Ash said, unsure if he was being complimented or insulted.

"Has he forgotten the rest of us are here?" Sasha wondered quietly, noticing that Ford seemed to be ignoring them in favor of Ash.

"Hey, what are we, chopped Pokeblock?" asked a somewhat annoyed Pikachu.

"Yeah, we're a part of this team too, homes!" Leo said.

Ford frowned thoughtfully at Leo. "Aren't you a little short for a Wartortle?"

Leo sweatdropped. "I, uh, have a glandular problem. Fo'shizzle."

"Those are a pain," Ford said sympathetically. "When I was your age, I couldn't breathe fire until…ah, but that's unimportant. Do you have any credentials or prior references I could look at, or are the lot of you some fresh Magikarp looking to make a Splash debut in the big leagues?"

"As it so happens, we've actually fought in a number of other events," Pikachu said, fishing into his knapsack and handing Ford the fake IDs, resumes, and other doctored information the Professor had been able to procure for them from the expert forgers in Treasure Town.

Ford frowned as he examined the IDs with an experienced eye. "You don't say? Hmm, then why haven't I heard about you before now?"

"We've mostly fought in minor tournaments and the like," Ash said. "The sort of small-town stuff a wealthy and busy Pokemon like you wouldn't pay much attention to."

"You'd be surprised the sort of things I pay attention to," Ford said. "But…hmm. These look fairly legit. Even if they're not, though…the thought of having an honest-to-goodness Lucario in this next tourney makes me so giddy I believe I could look the other way and let you in regardless!"

"Yay?" Leo said uncertainly.

"Then does that mean we're in?" Pikachu asked.

"Not just yet. Gotta take care of two things first," Ford said, pressing a button on his desk. A section of the floor slid open, and a large machine with a bull's eye target mounted on the front rose up. "First, I'd like to assess your strength. Each of you, hit the target as hard as you can!"

"Why?" Sasha asked.

"Because I said so," said Ford.

Ash shrugged. "Okay." He concentrated for a moment, focusing Aura into his fist until it burned with a brilliant blue flame. With a battle cry, he stepped forward and punched the target with every ounce of strength in his arm.

The machine shook, and sparks flew from it. Ford glanced at a computer screen set into his desktop and whistled. "Phew-ee, that's quite a punch you've got there, boy! Yeah, you're definitely in! Okay, who's next?"

"I'll go," Pikachu said, stepping up. "You said to hit this thing as hard as we could?"

"That's right," said Ford. "And I'd like it to be a physical attack, if you please. Your voltage could short out my strength tester here, which would be a great inconvenience."

Pikachu ran through the list of attacks available to him. Ford wanted him to hit the target as hard as possible, which probably meant his sword wouldn't work, since it was more of a fast, light attack, and he couldn't use his electric attacks without damaging the machine. He couldn't use Volt Tackle for that reason (and because Minun weren't supposed to know that move), which only left him with Quick Attack. He backed up to the far wall, gathering his energy, then dashed towards the machine as fast as he could, leaving a trail of light behind him. He jumped into the air as he approached the machine and rammed the target with his head as hard as he could, causing his teeth to clench in pain as his skull almost cracked from the impact. The machine was harder than he had thought. "Ungh…"

"Hmm…not bad," Ford said, checking his computer. "Not as good as your partner, but still pretty strong. Now, Miss Night Slash, if you'd please show us what you can do?"

"Very well," Sasha said. She charged up her attack power with Swords Dance, energy blades swirling around her body. Then she lunged forward, Dark energy crackling around her body, and slammed into the target as hard as she could.

"Ooh! Another strong one!" Ford said, again impressed. "Now it's your turn, short stuff."

"I told you, it's a glandular condition!...Dude," Leo said in annoyance. He retracted into his shell—some of his fake tail sticking out, much to his irritation—spun in place to build up power, then launched himself at the machine in a Rapid Spin. He struck the target and bounced off, nearly taking his teammates' heads off and crashing into a wall before he managed to stop himself. "Whoo! That was wild, man…so, uh, how'd I do?"

Ford checked his computer. He frowned. "…According to this, it barely felt a thing."

"What?! No way!" Leo cried in disbelief. "It must be busted from everyone else hitting it so hard! I want a do-over!"

"No, no, I'm pretty sure it's just you," Ford said. He glanced at the others. "You sure you want this deadweight on your team? He'll only slow you down."

"HEY!" Leo shouted. "I'm right here, you know!"

"There have been times we're tempted to dump him, but things wouldn't really be the same without him," Pikachu said.

"Yeah, he's like the heart of the team…or maybe the pancreas…" Ash joked.

Leo's face turned orange (it would have been red, but he was covered in gold paint, so) with anger. "You guys suck."

"Okay then. If you're positive…" Ford pushed another button, and some sheets of paper were printed out from a slot on his desk. "Then I'll just need you to sign these forms and we're all set."

"What kind of forms?" Pikachu asked suspiciously.

"Standard nondisclosure, promises you'll abide by the rules of the tournament or else you'll get kicked out, a guarantee of a free room at one of the nearby hotels for the duration of your stay at Battlus, an assurance that you'll get a percentage of the cash Mt. Battle earns from people coming to see you fight and from Pokemon gambling against you—not as big as my share, of course--that sort of thing," Ford assured them.

Ash frowned. "Shouldn't we get a share of the money made from people betting _for_ us?"

"No, if people bet on you and you win, then I lose Poke'," Ford explained. "Our gambling venue makes money from suckers losing their bets, so if you win, you'll only get part of the profit made off of the people who betted against you. You'll also receive a set amount of Poke' for each round you clear in the tournament, with the biggest bucks only available the higher you go up the rankings." Ash frowned, almost saying that he felt making money that way seemed dishonest, but then remembered he wasn't supposed to be an especially honorable Pokemon, so said nothing.

Leo frowned. "A contract, huh? Lemme see that, I don't want to miss any of the fine print and have some evil exploitative clause coming back to bite us in the tails later."

"Neither do I," Pikachu said with a frown as Ford handed them the forms. He and Leo pored over them carefully.

"Exactly what are the rules of this tournament?" Sasha asked.

"No items in the ring, though you can use some to heal yourself or teach yourself a new move on your own time. You can beat up your opponent all you want, but no killing moves are allowed. In fact, if you kill an opponent, you get kicked out and may never return to Mt. Battle," Ford said.

"Is that a big problem here?" Ash asked in concern. "Death in the arena, I mean."

Ford shrugged. "It happens from time to time. Most of our regulars are pros and know when to pull their punches, but not everybody is experienced enough to know their limits…or sometimes they do, but just don't care how much damage they cause so long as they win."

"We aren't like that," Ash assured him.

"Really?" asked a mildly surprised Ford. "I thought you said you'd given up on that 'honor' thing most of your kind is hung up on."

Ash bristled. "That may be so," he said through gritted teeth. "But if killing someone means I don't get paid, then I know when to stop."

"Good to hear," Ford said. "So, fellas, are you in or not?"

"I don't see anything in this contract that could later be used against us," Pikachu said.

"And we checked with a magnifying glass, too," said Leo. "Uh, _his_ magnifying glass, not mine. Because I'm not into that sciencey shit like this geek is. Yeah." He shoved Pikachu. Pikachu glared at him, and Leo whimpered and bowed his head in apology.

"So you're in, then?" Ford asked.

"I guess so," said Ash.

"Excellent! Then just sign these and you're good to go," Ford said, handing Ash a pen.

Ash took the forms from Pikachu and signed his name. Pikachu signed it next, and then Leo, and Sasha stared at the forms blankly for a moment before cutting an X on the dotted line with her claws, since she lacked opposable thumbs. "Congrats!" the old Blaziken told them as he took back the papers. "You're in the tournament!"

"Cool," said Leo.

"So what do we do now?" Ash asked.

"In a little less than half an hour, we'll be hosting the opening ceremonies in Mt. Battle's central arena. You should probably head down there now. There'll be a big crowd, both in the stands and in the ring, since we got a good few hundred entrants this year, including yourselves," Ford explained. "After the festivities, you'll be randomly set into brackets and blocks and divisions and whatnot and have to fight another team or single opponent in an elimination round. At least half the battlers will be sent home crying by the end of the night. After that, the tournament starts for real tomorrow, with each fighter or team paired off against another. Each day of the tournament will have two sets of matches, one in the morning, and one in the afternoon. Each fighter or team will have to clear both matches to proceed further in the tournament, moving up the brackets in the process. Competition will become tougher the more you advance, naturally, since only the strongest fighters make it to the later rounds. After somebody wins the finals, they'll get a chance to face off against the reigning Champion, Wes Psyche, in a title match."

"And the winner gets tons of money and fame, right?" Leo asked eagerly.

"And that belt he wears?" Pikachu asked.

"The Champion's Belt? Of course, it can only be worn by the Champion, and whoever defeats the Champion becomes the new one. That's how it always works," said Ford.

Ash felt a strange sense of déjà vu. Had he fought in tournaments like this back in his own world? Was this how the 'Pokemon League' he could only half-remember had worked? "What was that you said about teams or fighters?" Sasha asked.

"Not everyone who enters the tournament does it in a team like you four," Ford explained. "Some decide to do it solo. Out of fairness for those brave—and often stupid—souls, we've made a rule so that if a team winds up matched up against a soloist, only one member of the team may fight against that other lone mon. The rule can be waived if that sole fighter expresses a wish to fight the entire team, but most are smart enough not to take that risk."

"What if two teams with uneven numbers fight each other?" Ash asked. "Do the extra members of one team have to sit it out?"

Ford shook his head. "Nope, everyone on either side has to duke it out."

"That doesn't seem entirely fair," said Pikachu.

Ford shrugged. "Fairness only goes so far when it comes to the entertainment business."

"I think we can handle something like that," said Ash. "Which way to the main event?"

Ford pressed a button. "My assistant, May Maple, will take you there."

Ash started at that. "Did you say May Maple?!"

Ford blinked. "Why? Do you know here?"

Ash rubbed his head in confusion. "I…no, I don't think…"

The door opened and a Combusken wearing slanted glasses, a red suit, and carrying a portfolio entered the room. "You called, sir?" she asked in a rather bored tone of voice.

Ash looked at her in disbelief. The room seemed to waver, and suddenly Ash found himself in another flashback, staring at a blue-eyed female human wearing a red T-shirt, very short shorts, a yellow fanny pack, gloves, and a red bandana over her brown hair. "Wow, May, that was fantastic!" Ash could hear himself saying to the girl.

She nodded excitedly and held up a golden piece of metal with a ribbon attached to it. "Yeah, and now with this, I have all the ribbons I need to enter the Grand Festival!"

"Sir, could you please stop ogling me? I find it rather offensive," the Combusken said in a rather deadpan and apathetic voice, snapping him out of his flashback.

"Wh-what? Oh…sorry, I didn't mean-" he stammered in apology.

"What was that, boy? Are you interested in my assistant? If so, I'm afraid you can't have her…she's rather married to her work!" Ford joked.

Ash flushed. "Th-that's not why I was looking at her like that!"

"Yeah, besides, he's taken anyway," Pikachu said.

"And he has three kids, too! You're a family man, Gonzales! Don't go cheatin' on your old lady like that! For shame!" Leo scolded Ash.

"You had kids? I didn't know that," said the surprised Sasha.

Ash's face turned bright red. "GUYS!"

Ford frowned and rechecked the IDs the team had given him. "A wife and kids? Doesn't say anything about that on here…"

"Oh, he isn't married. They're illegitimate offspring," Pikachu said, fully enjoying the anguished expression on his brother's face.

"And they aren't his only ones too! Heck, he has a girl in every town, you sly playa you!" Leo said, giving Ash a sly wink. Sasha looked back and forth from Leo and Pikachu to Ash in confusion, too out of touch with her former teammates to know how much of what they were saying was true and how much they were just making up to push his buttons.

"Hoho, I didn't know you'd gotten around that much, m'boy! Reminds me of my younger days!" Ford chortled as Ash turned redder and redder.

"How disgusting," May said in an utterly bland voice.

"Look, can we please just change the subject?" Ash asked in a strangled voice, trying desperately to control his temper and not throttle his friends.

Ford shrugged. "I suppose so. May, please escort these four to the main arena, could you? They'll be competing in the tournament as last-minute entrants."

"Very well, sir," May said, sounding as if she'd rather be doing anything but that. "Come with me, please. Try to keep up if you can, because I have better things to do than look for you if you get lost."

"Who stuck a pole up her tailfeathers?" Leo muttered as they were led out of the room.

"I heard that," May said rather coldly, causing Leo to yelp and shut up.

Ford leaned back in his seat and took another look at the readings he had gotten off of their strength test. He chuckled. "This could be most…_interesting…_"

…

A little later…

Mt. Battle's main arena was a very large circular room with audience seating in the form of rows and rows of stands lining the walls, as well as balconies higher up for more distinguished (and higher-paying) guests. The seats were currently packed, thousands of eager Pokemon waiting for the main event to begin. The center of the room was a large round field with a square stone stage a couple of feet tall taking up the majority of it. Spotlights dangling from a complicated mesh of metal and cables near the ceiling focused on the stage and on the couple hundred Pokemon warriors who filed into the room one by one, to the cheering ecstasy of the crowd. Fans of veterans fighters shouted joyfully when they saw their favorites entering the room, while others appraised the newcomers thoughtfully and estimated their chances of success. The fighters kept pouring onto the field until every inch of the ground and stage was covered by their combined biomass, a very tight fit that could easily make even the toughest of Pokemon feel a little claustrophobic, but the opportunity being offered to them by participating in the impending tournament was more than enough for any of them to overlook any fears and doubts anyone else would be feeling.

Well, enough for _most_ of them, anyway. "Night Slash, are you okay?" a concerned Pikachu asked Sasha.

She was fidgeting and breathing deeply. "Sorry, I-I'm just not used to being pressed in with so many Pokemon…I prefer wide, open spaces better."

"I don't think we're going to be near any of those for a while," Ash said apologetically.

"I will try and control myself. I have faced harder ordeals than this," Sasha said, though she still looked very edgy.

Leo was also breathing deeply, but for another reason. "Oh man oh man oh man…I can't believe it…we're surrounded by some of the world's greatest fighters and martial artists…this is so cool…so cool…SO…COO-"

"Leo!" Pikachu said sternly.

Leo winced. "I know, I know! But it's so hard! I've been watching most of these guys fighting on television for years, and to be so close I can practically _touch _them and pluck off some hairs to keep as souvenirs, it's…it's almost too much! I can't take it!" He quickly sucked on his inhaler to keep from going into hysterics.

Pikachu sighed. "This undercover thing is going to be even harder than I thought…"

The lights dimmed abruptly. "Something's happening!" Ash said.

"Yeah, that's kind of obvious," said Pikachu.

The spotlights spun wildly around the arena, briefly illuminating the audience, the fighters, and featureless walls as dramatic music played. Then the lights swiveled in unison and focused on a platform lowering from the ceiling, upon which stood Busamo Ford and May. The crowd burst into applause as Ford waved and May stood there disinterestedly. "Hellooooooo Giant Volcano!" Ford shouted. "Welcome to Mt. Battle, site of some of the greatest fights in history, including some of the battling you'll be seeing over the next few days! In a few days we'll have a very special occasion, the tenth anniversary of the Mt. Battle arena, and to honor this historic moment we're gonna have one of the biggest tournaments ever held in this here establishment…and when I mean big, I mean REALLY big! Just look at all the contenders we've got here tonight!" He gestured, and the spotlights swirled around the throng of fighters below, picking out individuals as Ford shouted their names. "AJ the Slasher! Team Satisfaction! Zoro of La Mancha and his band of freedom fighters! Greensters Brendan and Wally! The Bronzong Brothers! Richie Getem and the rest of Team Getem! Craw-Daddy! The Shellshockers! And let's not forget our favorite bad boy, amoral Paul Yami!" The crowd cheered louder and louder with each consecutive name Ford called out.

Ash blinked, several of those names ringing a bell. "AJ? Richie? Paul?

"Did you know guys by that name in your world, too?" Leo asked Ash.

Ash frowned. "I'm…not sure…"

"And those are just a few of our returning favorites! We've got just as many newcomers who I think you'll learn to know and love…like Hocus Pocus, Spike Storm, the Boom-booms, Dem Bones, and the world-famous band, the Pokerockers!" The spotlight focused on a large group of Pokemon in black leather and spikes wearing makeup and carrying musical instruments, which posed and waggled their tongues as the audience shrieked so loudly that it was incredible the roof didn't cave in.

"The Pokerockers? Eh, they're not all that," Leo said dismissively.

"Are you kidding me? The Pokerockers?! They're the most incredible musical sensation in the history of the WORLD!" Pikachu shrieked. His friends stared at him in surprise. He flushed and tried to play it off. "Uh, I mean, they're all right…"

Leo smirked. "Heh, and you chew me out for acting like a fanboy?"

"You'll get to see all these contenders and more duking it out in the next few days as we countdown to Mt. Battle's tenth anniversary! And on the big day, whoever wins the tournament will not only receive a whopping TEN MILLION POKE', but get a title match with the reigning champ, Wes Psyche!" Ford gestured to the other end of the room, and the spotlights swung around to focus on a balcony upon which an Espeon wearing a belt with a glittering crystalline star on its buckle stood with a pretty and perky-looking Umbreon and a large Skarmory with…very strange eyebrows and a lightning-shaped mustache.

"Hey," the Espeon said, causing his fans in the crowd to scream at the top of their lungs. Leo almost did as well, but managed to restrain himself just in time.

"So that's Wes, huh?" Ash asked, appraising the Espeon. "Hmm…he looks tougher than I thought…"

"Can you tell if that thing on his belt is the real Star Badge?" Pikachu asked him.

Ash shook his head. "Not with the dampening field blocking my Aura-sight, no."

"Who are those Pokemon standing near him? Will we have to fight them?" Sasha asked.

Leo shook his head. "Nah, they're technically part of his team, but he fights alone. They're just there for support. The Umbreon's his girlfriend, Rui, and the Skarmory is his foster father, Gonzap." A thoughtful look came to his face. "You know…now that I think about it, I remember reading somewhere that Rui might have Aura powers too, or at least the ability to use Aura-sight like you do, Ash."

"Really?" asked the surprised Ash.

"I thought only Lucario could use Aura," Sasha said.

Ash shook his head. "Aura is in everyone, but only a few individuals are capable of using it. All Lucarios and Riolus are born with the ability, and Togetics supposedly gain some power when they evolve into Togekisses, but for any other Pokemon to have it depends on a mix of fate, luck, and genetics."

"I see…" Sasha murmured. "Does my disaster-sense count as Aura?"

"Do you see weird colors and energy outlines of everything around you whenever you close your eyes?" Ash asked.

"No," said Sasha.

"Then it's not Aura," Ash said.

"Now that we have all our fighters here, let's begin the sorting!" Ford said as the wall behind him split open to reveal a rather large screen, which brightened and pulled up images of all the fighters on the floor below. "Tonight we'll have the preliminary elimination round, where approximately half of our challengers will be sent home. The computer behind me will randomly split you into pairs, who will then fight each other for the privilege of moving on to the next round tomorrow. The pairs will be organized in divisions, each of which will be sent to a separate ring somewhere in this building, and will fight there until all of the elimination matches have been completed. That means we have a long night of fighting ahead of us, folks, but that's the sort of thing you've all signed up for, right?" The audience laughed, even though it wasn't really that funny. He was the host, after all. "Anyway, without further ado, let's get this thing started!" He gestured with his cane, and the images on the screen behind him started flickering and rearranging themselves in rapid sequences, pairs occasionally splitting off from the main jumbled mass and freezing in place, indicating that a match had been made. All of the fighters, including the disguised Team Aurabolt, watched the screen intently, wondering who they would be paired against; well aware that if they wound up facing off with the wrong combatant or team, all their ambitions might come to an early end.

None of the fighters were aware that someone was watching them just as carefully as they were watching the screen, someone who was not in the audience. Standing in the rafters and catwalks high above the arena, the ninja Buneary observed the hundreds of Pokemon below, eyes narrowed as she fixed her gaze on one in particular, the one she had come all this way to kill. Her most hated enemy had entered the Mt. Battle tournament for a chance at fame and glory, but all he would get would be his death.

She considered killing him right there and then; she was pretty sure she could hit him, even from her great distance and height. However, there was too great a risk involved; too many Pokemon were standing close to him and might get hit by mistake no matter how confident she was at her sniping skills, and there was a chance that if she launched her attack from so far away, he'd sense her and retaliate before she could kill him. She would probably only get one shot at this, and she didn't want to waste it. After all she had done and all the sacrifices she had made to get to this point, she wanted to make absolutely sure she killed him.

Briefly she wondered what that irritating Lucario, samurai, and foolish Squirtle were doing here, and why they now had an Absol companion. Their disguises weren't clever enough to fool someone with as sharp eyes and as good a skill at stealth as herself. Had they followed her here somehow? They claimed that they kept winding up at the same place through coincidence, but she did not believe in such a thing as that. Either they were following her…or their paths were fated to cross again and again. How irritating.

She doubted whatever they were after would interfere with her own mission. If they stayed out of her way, she would stay out of theirs. And if they became a problem…

Then she would kill them. She did not like killing innocents, but if they tried to stop her, then she would have to regard them as her enemies. And she _always_ killed her enemies.

So as Ford rambled on about rules and declared which Pokemon would fight whom, she continued to spy on her target, and waited, and plotted…

…

Some time later…

"When are we going to be able to fight? It feels like we've been waiting for hours," Ash complained.

"We have been waiting for hours," said Sasha.

"We're not the only ones who've been assigned to this ring, so we have to wait for all the other guys ahead of us to finish their fights before we can have our scheduled match," said Pikachu. After Ford had divvied up everybody for their elimination matches, the division Team Aurabolt was in had been sent to one of Mt. Battle's secondary arenas. One by one, the fighters or teams were being sent out to battle their opponents, and when their matches were over, the next bunch in line got to go out. Unfortunately, Team Aurabolt was rather low down the list of matches, so they were forced to wait in the arena's attached locker room with the other fighters until it was their turn to go out. They wouldn't have minded watching the other matches, since the roar of the crowd and the explosions and agonized screams and grunts of pain indicated a pretty good show was being put on, but the tournament competitors were forbidden from watching their opponents in battle since it might give them an unfair advantage by letting them sample what moves their foes used and work out a strategy to counter them. Naturally, there were ways around this—namely, bribery—but since this was just the elimination round and most of the fighters would be kicked out anyway by the end of the night, nobody was in any hurry to start cheating. Not yet, anyway.

"And in the meantime, we can get acquainted with some of our fellow fighters and possible future rivals! Yo, you with the squinty eyes, what's your name, my mon?" Leo asked a rather large Graveler which did indeed have squinty eyes.

"You can call me The Brock!" the Graveler said proudly.

Ash blinked. "Brock?" Wasn't that the name of one of the friends he had seen in his visions of Supreme Stadium?

Suddenly, he found himself in the throes of another flashback. He was watching a tall, dark-skinned human with spiky brown hair and squinty eyes hitting on a rather alarmed human that looked remarkably like the Chanseys in the Joy family, except thinner. "Oh Nurse Joy, I'm suffering from a deadly heart condition, and I don't think I can survive much longer! Only you can save me!"

The human Joy gasped. "Oh my! I specialize in Pokemon more than humans, but…I'll see what I can do. What's wrong with you?"

"I'm in LOVE!" the dark-skinned man shouted, causing Joy to sweatdrop. "And my chest will burst from sheer heartache if you won't do me the honor of going out with me this eve-GAAAAHH!" he screamed as a Croagunk popped out of a red and white sphere on his belt and hit him in the ass with a Poison Jab, causing him to collapse to the floor in a paralyzed state. "Aaahhh…now it's not just my heart that's aching…" he groaned as the Croagunk dragged him away by one leg, croaking softly as it did so.

"No, THE Brock!" the Graveler corrected, snapping Ash out of his flashback. "It's spelled with a capital The!"

"Ah," Pikachu said blankly.

"Why would his parents name him 'The Brock?'" asked a puzzled Sasha.

"They didn't, he's just calling himself that due to his enormous ego," Leo said. "Or maybe he actually has self-confidence issues and acts big to compensate."

"Hey! The Brock compensates for nothing!" The Brock said angrily. "All the ladies love The Brock! Or they will when The Brock wins the tournament and becomes a superstar! THEN maybe Nurse Joy will go out on a date with The Brock!"

They sweatdropped, and Ash had another feeling of deja vu. "Yeah, you're totally not compensating for anything…" Pikachu muttered.

"You're one to talk, considering that you usually carry a sword that's at least as tall as you are, if not longer," Ash said. Pikachu glared at him.

"At least he doesn't self-narrate, like…that guy we know," Leo said, quickly keeping himself from mentioning Chobin's name. There was no telling who might hear it, and it could connect them to the Nihilators, which was something they were trying to avoid.

"So you're here to become attractive to women?" Pikachu asked.  
The Brock nodded. "Yeah. And to get some money to support The Brock's family. The Brock has a lot of brothers and sisters, and ever since The Brock's deadbeat dad walked out on them, The Brock has had to take care of them all on The Brock's own."

"If you're here, then who's taking care of them now?" asked Sasha.

"Oh, The Brock brought them with them, they should be somewhere in the stands," The Brock explained. "Waiting for The Brock to come out and win The Brock's next fight!"

"Yeah, like that's going to happen," a Delibird said as he walked over. "Hey there, how ya doing? The name's Andy, what's yours?" He extended a hand.

"Hey Andy, my name's-" Ash started, reaching out to shake Andy's hand when The Brock slapped it away.

"Don't get too close to him, he's a thief!" The Brock growled. "He steals everything that's not nailed down, and uses a crowbar to take that, too! Never shake his hand, because you'll never know how many claws you have left when you're done! Toes, too!"

"Cool!" said Leo. "Uh, I mean, I pity the fool who tries to steal from us!"

Pikachu groaned. "Great, we just left one lawless town of thieves for another…"

Andy huffed. "I prefer not to think of myself as a thief, but as a savior who liberates certain…valuables…from undeserving owners! After all, if they're not careful enough to keep their belongings somewhere that an enterprising individual like me can't get them, do they really deserve to have them?"

"Yes," all of Team Aurabolt, as well as The Brock, said.

Andy pouted. "Well, phooey to you, too."

"You come here for any reason other than to try and clean out some unsuspecting marks, Andy?" The Brock growled.

"If not, we will make sure you regret it," Sasha warned the Delibird.

Andy shrugged. "Just thought I'd pass on a little interesting bit of info I heard fairly recently. Any of you all heard of the Seven Wonders of Mt. Battle?"

"No," all of them except Leo said.

"Ye…uh, no, of course we haven't," Leo said, remembering he wasn't supposed to be a fanboy. "Why don't you, uh, tell us…before I pound your face in! Yeah…"

"The Seven Wonders of Mt. Battle are a set of mysteries that have surrounded this place for several years. Many fighters like ourselves have tried to find the solution to these mysteries, but none have succeeded…until now, since I fully intend to figure them out all by myself, and collect whatever reward lies at the end of the road!" Andy said proudly.

"That's nice," said Pikachu, not really caring. "And these mysteries are…?"

"Wonder the First! 'The Sealed Wall.' It is said that the remains of warriors who are killed accidentally or on purpose are hidden behind a sealed wall in a locker room. A locker room just like the one we are in now…" Andy said eerily.

"Why a locker room? Couldn't they just bury them? Send them home to their families? That sort of thing?" The Brock asked skeptically.

"And wouldn't it be easier to just dispose of the bodies by throwing them into the volcano, anyway?" Leo asked.

Sasha frowned. "Would this wall happen to be in _this_ locker room?"

Andy scowled. "I dunno. Look, I'm just telling you what I heard, okay? Anyway, if there _is_ a wall, and I find those dead bodies, I bet I can get a ton of money selling them back to their families, heheh."

"That's disgusting," said a shocked Pikachu.

"Yeah, I know," said Andy. "Wonder the Second! 'The Mon-Eating Toilet.'"

"The what?" asked Sasha.

Andy frowned, hating to repeat itself. "I said, 'The Mon-Eating-'"

"I heard you the first time, but what's a toilet?" Sasha asked.

They stared at her. "You don't know what a toilet is?" asked the confused The Brock.

Sasha shook her head. "No, I-"

Ash quickly clamped a paw over her mouth. "Hahaha, she's such a kidder! Aren't you a kidder, Sasha?" he said, laughing nervously. They were supposed to be an experienced fighting team; it would ruin their cover if anyone figured out that Sasha was both new to the team and had very little experience with the civilized world due to spending most of her life in the wild. "Leo…"

"Right," Leo said, whispering an explanation about what toilets were to Sasha. Her eyes bulged at the information.

"Anyway, the Mon-Eating Toilet is supposed to be a toilet in a locker room—much like this one!—that devours anyone that attempts to use it!" Andy said eerily.

"That sounds like the plot for a bad horror movie," said Ash.

"In fact, I think I saw that one…" said Leo.

"If it devours everyone who uses it, how does anyone even know of its existence? Was someone in the stall next door and heard his or her neighbor getting eaten or something?" Pikachu asked doubtfully. "And if that's the case, then wouldn't we know which locker room it was in, rather than it just being in 'one like this one?'"

"Maybe it moves," Brock suggested.

"How can a toilet move?!" Pikachu asked incredulously.

"Because it's alive! Otherwise, it wouldn't eat people!" Leo said. Pikachu facepalmed.

"If it _is_ alive, then I could probably capture it and sell it to a collector or zoo or something for big bucks," said Andy. "Though who would want a living toilet I can't imagine. Maybe someone who specializes in cursed and animated furniture? Anyway, Wonder the Third! 'The Stairs of Mystery!' An unknown room in Mt. Battle has a second floor but no stairs, and groaning voices can be heard from above!"

"Which room?" asked Ash.

"I just said, it's unknown," Andy pointed out.

"Once again, then how does anyone know about it?!" asked an annoyed Pikachu.

"And why is it called 'Stairs of Mystery' if there are no stairs?" asked a puzzled Sasha, who, while lacking knowledge of indoor plumbing, nevertheless knew what stairs were. "Shouldn't it be called 'The Missing Stairs' or 'The Unseen Groaning?'"

"Good one, ho!" Leo complimented. "And I mean 'ho' in a good way, not a bad one!"

Sasha blinked. "Okay…?"

"Look, I'm not the one who named these!" Andy snapped. "Regardless, once I find that room and a way to the hidden second floor, I'll find the secret of whatever's causing those groans! Anyway…Wonder the Fourth! 'The Haunted Boudoir!'"

"What's a Boudoir?" Sasha asked.

There was a moment's pause as everyone thought about that for a moment. "I don't actually know," Andy admitted.

"Is it like a desk or a bureau?" The Brock suggested.

"Or a bookcase?" Pikachu suggested.

"Maybe it's another toilet?" Leo said.

Andy shrugged. "Well, whatever the heck a Boudoir is, it's said that the private suite right here in Mt. Battle that's used exclusively by the Champion and his team is haunted. Former champions have claimed that they could hear voices whispering from nowhere. Rumor has it that the voices belong to the fighters whom the Champion has beaten!"

"Dead or alive fighters?" Ash asked.

"Yeah, because I thought killing someone was illegal in this arena," Pikachu said.

"And if they were alive, they couldn't exactly haunt someone…" said The Brock.

"And if they were dead, they would come back as Ghost Pokemon," Sasha pointed out.

"Look, it's _said_ that they're the voices of defeated fighters, I don't believe they actually are," Andy said testily. "I personally think they're connected to the groans from the room with no stairs."

"Hey, what if it's also connected to the 'Sealed Wall' and 'The Stairs of Mystery?'" Leo said, getting a sudden brainwave. "If dead fighters are sealed behind a wall, maybe their corpses were reanimated as zombies and are creating all those groaning noises, which are also the voices that can be heard in the Champion's suite!"

"People have looked into that, there are no locker rooms, two-story or otherwise, directly underneath, next to, or above the Champion's suite," Andy said. "Good try, though."

"Darn…fo'shizzle," Leo muttered in disappointment.

"If I discover the source of the voices, I might be able to extort the Champ into paying me to get rid of them!" Andy said gleefully. "Anyway…Wonder the Fifth! 'The Spooky Ring-Lights!' Strange lights supposedly leak from under the doors to the main ring when nobody is inside."

"Couldn't that just be someone testing the lighting in there?" Ash asked.

Andy nodded. "Yeah, I think so too, but it's a Wonder so I'm obligated to look into it."

"You may be a low-life crook, but at least you're diligent," Pikachu said.

"Hey, thanks! Wonder the Sixth! 'The Missing Ones!' Sometimes fighters disappear for no reason and never return," Andy said.

"Wouldn't that be because they lost and don't want to show their faces here again?" Sasha asked.

"Or maybe they just retired?" Pikachu said.

Andy smirked. "You'd think so, wouldn't you? However…most of these disappeared fighters vanished rather abruptly, sometimes just before important matches. Yeah, they could have chickened out and ran…except that nobody outside Giant Volcano's ever reported seeing those missing fighters again either, outside of tabloids. In fact, Mt. Battle's very first champion, King Sloth, is thought to be one of those missing fighters!"

"What? King Sloth?! You're kidding! I thought he…um…was a movie star," Leo finished awkwardly.

"The Brock thought King Sloth quit when he got too old for the game and went home to his family!" said the surprised The Brock.

Andy shook his head. "Yeah, that's the official story…but the way I hear it, nobody actually SAW him leave. There was just a note, and his family? Nobody's heard a peep from them either since then."

Ash and Pikachu exchanged looks. "That actually _does_ sound rather suspicious," Pikachu said. "It might be the only one of these 'Wonders' with some actual truth behind it."

"What did all these fighters have in common?" Sasha asked.

Andy shrugged. "Absolutely nothing, so far as I can tell! They were of all different species, ages, genders, sexual orientations, rankings in the tournaments they were fighting in…but they all vanish anyway, like whatever's taking them doesn't really care what it's getting so long as it grabs something."

"If so many fighters have disappeared, then why is Mt. Battle still open at all? That sounds like really bad business," said an alarmed Pikachu.

"That's _exactly_ why it's still open," Andy said. "Apparently, Ford and the rather wealthy Pokemon who invest in the arena cover up the disappearances to keep tourists and potential fighters from thinking twice about coming here and entering the tournaments or spending their cash on the various kinds of entertainment you can find all over this crater. That's what I hear, anyway."

"Is Ford actually looking into these disappearances, or just sitting on them?" Leo asked.

Andy shrugged. "That I don't know. But I intend to find out! And speaking of our gracious host…he's the subject of the Seventh Wonder! You had to meet the big man in person to enter the tournament, right? Tell me, does he look normal for a Pokemon that's almost seventy? Sure, Fighting Pokemon are renowned for having good bods up until their deathbeds, but he seems a little too…_fit_ for his age, if you know what I mean."

Ash nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I noticed that too."

"The Brock thought he either had a good diet and exercise regimen or was just taking drugs," Brock admitted.

"Are you sure there's anything suspicious about that?" Sasha asked. "I'm in my seventies, and I'm still very fit."

"You're that old?!" asked the astonished The Brock. "You don't look a day over thirty!"

She smiled. "Thank you."

"Yeah, but that's because Absols are known for living for over a hundred years without many real signs of aging," Pikachu pointed out. "Once they hit maturity, they look pretty much exactly the same until the day they die. Most other Pokemon, including Blazikens, aren't quite as lucky when it comes to retaining their youthful looks."

"That's true," Sasha admitted. "If that is the case, then what do you suppose is the reason Ford manages to retain so much of his strength and vigor?"

Leo gasped, having another brainwave. "Wait, that's it! It's all connected! Ford is kidnapping the fighters who disappeared and somehow draining their energy to keep himself fit, and he stores their remains behind the Sealed Wall, which happens to be on the second floor of the room with the Stairs of Mystery, and their wailing spirits are what can be heard in the Haunted Boudoir and what's causing The Spooky Ring-Lights!"

"What about the Mon-Eating Toilet?" Ash asked. "Where does that fit in?"

"Eh, _that_ one I'm stumped on," Leo admitted.

Pikachu sweatdropped. "If your weird guesses hadn't been oddly accurate in the past, I'd say you were crazy, Leo…well, you're probably crazy anyway, but that doesn't mean you're wrong, I guess."

"Does he say things like this often?" Sasha asked quietly.

"Yeah, pretty much," Ash said.

"So, wait, are you saying Ford is a vampire or something?!" asked an alarmed The Brock.

"What? No, don't be preposterous! He can't be a vampire because he has floor-to-ceiling windows in his office to let sunlight in, as well as a reflection!" Leo said. He paused. "Unless…he's one of those vampires that's immune to sunlight and _can_ cast reflections! There are so many varieties, after all, what with different authors being unable to set a single definition of how vampires work…" They sweatdropped.

"Hmm…that's an interesting theory…I'll have to look into it and take the credit if it turns out to be correct," Andy said.

"Okay," said Leo.

A dark-suited Machamp entered the locker room. "Fighting Four, you're up!"

The team rose to their feet. "Right, we're coming," said Ash. "It was nice meeting you guys," he added to their new acquaintances.

"Same here! I hope to see you again…and steal all your stuff!" said Andy.

"Watch out for the vampire!" The Brock said anxiously.

"Vampire?" asked the confused Machamp as he led the team out of the room.

"It's a long story," Pikachu said.

Within a few minutes, they reached their destination, which was a smaller version of the main arena, but no less full of cheering bloodthirsty fans. "Ladies and gentlemon, say hello to our next team, the Merciless Executioners, the fearsome foursome known as the Fighting Four!" an unseen MC declared as a spotlight focused on the team, causing the crowd to cheer. Sasha flinched and whimpered, while the other three waved. "And among their number is the first Lucario to enter our fine facility in many years, if not the first ever! Perhaps today we'll get to see some of the legendary power of Aura his kind is renowned for in action! Won't that be neat, folks?"

"Oooh," said the impressed crowd.

"This feels so familiar…I think I did something like this in my own world," said Ash.

"Well, if you were a Pokemon trainer as we think you were, that would make sense," Pikachu said.

"This is soooo cooool!" Leo said, eagerly waving with both hands and striking lots of cheesy poses.

"Why must there be so many people?" Sasha asked anxiously.

"And in the other corner, say hello to their opponents…the Hoppin' Softheads, the Spore-spitters, the infamous Shroom Bros.!" the MC declared as another spotlight fell on a group of Pokemon entering the ring from the other side, causing the crowd to start cheering for them rather than the Fighting Four.

"What, these are our opponents?! Lame!" Leo cried.

They did indeed look lame. The Shroom Bros. were two Shroomish, two Paras, and a Parasect. "Don't diss us just 'cause you're so tall!" a Shroomish named Bolete said.

"Yeah, we'll wipe the floor with you!" said a Paras named Morel.

"And cause mushrooms to sprout from your decaying spore-infested flesh!" the Parasect, Lepiota, said.

"Yeah!" said the other Shroomish, named Shiitake.

"The fungus shall conquer all!" the last Paras, Amanita, said.

Team Aurabolt sweatdropped. "Wow, they sure are bloodthirsty for Basidiomycetes…" said Leo.

"For what?" asked Sasha.

"Mushrooms," said Leo.

"Le—King K, you're not supposed to talk like that," Pikachu reminded him.

"Right, sorry," Leo apologized.

"Now that both teams are on the playing field…let's get this party started!" the MC announced, much to the joy of the crowd. "You know the rules, folks: for one team to win, all the members of the opposite team must be either knocked unconscious or thrown out of the ring! Though, considering how light those Shroomish look, that might not be a problem for the Fighting Four!"

"Hey, we heard that!" Shiitake shouted.

"We'll come for you next!" Bolete promised.

"Yeah, I'm sure. BEGIN!" the MC shouted.

"DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!" Bolete shouted, lunging at Sasha with a Headbutt. She spun around and whacked the Shroomish with her tail, hitting him so hard that he was flung out of the ring, slamming into a wall near the stands and causing spores and pollen to fly everywhere. "Unh…" he slid to the ground and passed out.

"Wow. That was fast," said the impressed MC.

The other four Brothers gasped. "You bitch!" Morel shouted.

"You're gonna pay for that!" Amanita declared.

Sasha smirked. "Hmmph, if you say…uhhh…" She gritted her teeth as her muscles spasmed, locking her in place. "Wh-what?!"

Pikachu noticed that her white fur was covered in spores. "That Shroomish must have covered you with Effect Spores when you touched him, paralyzing you!"

"Yeah, kind of obvious," Ash said dryly.

"Don't worry Night Slash, I'll save you!" Leo declared, spitting his Water Gun at her, which succeeded in both washing the spores off her and also completely soaking her.

"Thank you, King K," Sasha said, her fur so heavy and dripping that it was hanging in her face and making it difficult to see.

"No problem, biatch!" Leo said with a wink and a thumb's up.

"You won't be doing that again! Haaaa!" Shiitake cried, firing a Leech Seed at Leo.

The Seed struck the top of the faux Wartortle's head and burst open, causing vines to snake out and cover Leo's body. "Aaaahhh, noooo!" he wailed as it started sucking up his energy. "It's draining my brain! My beautiful braaaaaain!...yo!"

Shiitake laughed. "Not feeling so smart now, are you?!"

"He's still smarter than you!" Ash said, punting the Shroomish out of the ring.

"Waaaaaahhhh—ow!" Shiitake cried as he slammed into the wall, then slid down and landed on Bolete. "Uhh…"

"And that's 2-0 in favor of the Fighting Four! The Shroom Bros. had better pick up the pace if they want to survive the elimination round!" the MC announced.

"He's right, you know, you should," Pikachu said as he and Sasha cut the vines off Leo so that he could squirt Ash and get rid of the paralyzing Effect Spores that had covered him when he had kicked Shiitake. "Otherwise we're going to win this pretty easily."

"Don't think it's over yet! We still have our super combo attack!" Morel announced.

"That's right! Get them!" Lepiota declared. The Paras' and Parasect shook their mushrooms, causing glittering clouds to drift towards the team.

"Whuh-oh! It looks like the Brothers are using a huge dose of Stun Spore, PoisonPowder, and Spores in an attempt to completely neutralize the Fighting Four by making them paralyzed, poisoned, and asleep, completely helpless to defend themselves!" the MC announced unnecessarily.

"Yeah, I don't think so!" said Leo, blasting Ash with his Water Gun and drenching him.

"Hey, what was that for?!" Ash asked angrily.

"With your fur wet, those spores can't stick to your body! And since you're immune to poison, you can dash right in there and take the big bug out!" Leo explained. "It's, uh, something I saw on TV once. And didn't think up all by myself. Yeah."

"Oh! I see. Great plan!" said the impressed Ash. He held his breath, then ran right through the glittering cloud and punched the surprised Parasect generating the PoisonPowder in the face, stunning him. He then used his great strength to lift up the (actually pretty light) insect and hurl it out of the ring, causing him to land on and squish his two smaller brothers.

"Ow…" they all moaned.

"And now we'll get rid of the remaining spores!" Pikachu said, drawing his sword and slashing it through the air to generate a Vacuum-Cut blade that blew the Spores away.

"Shouldn't we be worried that we might blow this into the audience?" Sasha asked doubtfully as she swung her head, flinging Razor Wind blades from her sickle blade.

"Nah, there's force fields and stuff," Leo said vaguely. "I think. Fo'real."

"Ack! They're out-maneuvering us, brother!" Morel squawked in dismay as the spore clouds dissipated. "We're outnumbered!"

"Not for long! We need to take out the two with the blades so they can't do that again!" Amanita figured out. He crossed his large front claws, which began to glow, and he lunged forward with an X-Scissor. Getting the idea, Morel did the same.

"Ha! Call that a cutting move?" Pikachu asked, brandishing his sword. "Fine, we'll do it your way." He charged towards Morel. Smirking, her claws starting to glow, Sasha dashed towards Amanita. They ran at each other, striking their weapons as they passed, went a few steps further, then paused, waiting to see who would fall.

"Ha! That didn't hurt a-" Amanita started before suddenly his front claws and the mushrooms on his back fell off. "Aaaahhh! Holy Fungus, the pain!"

"Nooo! Our fungi!" Morel moaned as goo, spores, and whatever insects had for blood gushed from his own severed claws and mushrooms. "What have you doooone?!"

"Booyah!" Leo cried.

"Yeah! Wait, was that a legal move?" Ash asked skeptically.

"Ooh, a BRUTAL move from the Fighting Four! However, it's TOTALLY AWESOME!" the MC said, causing the crowd to cheer at the violence.

Pikachu shrugged. "Guess that answers that question."

"We aren't finished yet!" Morel declared.

"Yes, we'll just regenerate…at the expense of your lives!" Amanita agreed. The pair of insects opened their mandibles, and green Giga Drain tendrils lashed out and stretched towards Pikachu and Sasha…

Who simply sliced them to pieces with their sword and blades. "Yeah, that's not gonna work on us," Pikachu said wryly.

"Care to try something else?" Sasha said with a smirk, her eyes flashing briefly.

"Whoops, looks like there's no tentacle rape today, folks!" the MC said, causing the crowd to laugh.

"We do, actually! How about THIS!" Morel roared as he and his brother glowed green and suddenly swelled up to enormous proportions by using Growth.

"Now we're twice as powerful! There's no way you can defeat us!" Amanita taunted.

"Yeah, that's so scary…because you being twice as powerful still makes you, what, only half as strong as us?" Leo said. "Uh, not to suggest I'm good at math or anything…"

"You're being too generous, I'd say they were more like a quarter, if that," Ash said.

"Oooh! BURN!" the MC shouted, causing the crowd to laugh and the Paras' to turn red with anger.

"We'll burn YOU!" Amanita shouted, forming a massive Energy Ball in his mandibles.

"Uh, that's a Grass move, so you wouldn't be burning us so much as…I dunno, something else," Leo pointed out. "But fire's red and orange, not green, so, yeah."

"SHUT UP!" Amanita shouted, spitting his Energy Ball at them.

"No, YOU shut up!" Ash retorted, firing an Aura Sphere at the Energy Ball. The two orbs collided and exploded impressively.

"So THAT'S Aura power in action! Amazing! Incredible! Fantastic!" the MC exulted as the crowd gasped in wonder.

"Spore power beats Aura power any day!" Morel shouted, spitting Bullet Seeds.

Leo countered with his Bubble attack, the water globules meeting and destroying the energized seeds. "Technically that's seed power, not spore power. And Bubble power seems to be superior to both…mofo!"

"Do you EVER shut up?!" the exasperated Morel screamed.

"Sadly, no," Pikachu said sympathetically.

"Then we'll make you shut up!" Amanita said as he opened his mandibles, Giga Drain tentacles lashing out again and wrapping themselves around Leo.

The others gasped. "Le—KING K!" Ash cried.

"Hold on, I'll-" Pikachu said, starting forwards.

"No need!" Leo retracted into his shell and used Rapid Spin to rip the tendrils off of him before they could begin absorbing all his energy. "You'll need to try harder than that to make this bad boy shut up! I'm super-awesome back in the hood, yo!"

"Fine! We will!" Morel declared as both he and his brother fired Energy Balls at the irritating Squirtle.

Leo sweatdropped. "Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut…"

"You think?!" Pikachu snapped.

"Hang on!" Ash formed an Aura Sphere and threw it at one of the Energy Balls, destroying it. He started another, but he realized too late that it wouldn't be able to hit the second one before it blasted Leo, who was desperately pelting it with Bubbles in an attempt to get rid of it. It wasn't working, and neither were the lightning bolts Pikachu was throwing at it. "Oh no! King K, hang on!"

"Don't worry," Sasha said as her eyes glowed again. "Everything's under control."

Suddenly, there was a gust of wind, and a rainbow-colored energy ball appeared out of nowhere and smashed into the Energy Ball, destroying it before it could hit Leo. The Squirtle gasped. "Whoa!"

"WHAT?!" the Paras' cried.

"That was Future Sight!" Ash realized.

"Night Slash, did you do that?" Pikachu asked.

Sasha nodded. "I called it up a few minutes ago just in case something like this happened."

"Nice foresight ! By which I mean strategy, and not the Normal-type technique that can make Ghosts susceptible to physical attacks," the MC commented.

"Gah! Why can't we beat you?!" the frustrated Morel asked.

"Because we're better than you," Ash said. "And to prove it, we're going to stop playing around and take you out for good! Come on!" He ran towards the insects, and his friends followed him.

"You cannot defeat us!" Amanita declared, spitting Bullet Seeds.

"We will plant our spores in your dead bodies!" Morel agreed, firing more Seeds.

"Not likely!" Leo said, spitting Bubbles to counter the Seeds.

While he distracted Morel doing that, Pikachu jumped onto his shell, bounced off, leaped into the air, and landed on the Paras's back. He drove his sword into one of the oozing stumps from the bug's severed mushrooms and used it as a conduit to channel his electricity into Morel's innards, bypassing his electric-resistant exoskeleton and frying him from within. Morel's eyes bulged in his sockets and he screamed in agony as Pikachu's Thundershock coursed through his body. He collapsed to the floor, convulsing, as smoke poured out of his mouth. Pikachu jumped off his back as he shrunk back to his original size.

"And that's one down and one to go!" the MC announced as the crowd cheered.

"I will avenge you, brother!" Amanita cried as he spat his Seeds at Ash and Sasha. "As soon as I deal with these two meddlesome mammals!"

"I think you should put that avenging on hold," Ash said casually as he used his Aura-powered reflexes to snatch each Seed out of the air with his bare paws, greatly impressing the audience.

"And wait until you're actually in a condition to carry out your threats!" Sasha agreed, using the cover Ash provided her to run through the stream of Bullet Seeds and underneath Amanita, where she used Night Slash to cut the Paras's feet out from under him. Amanita cried in pain as his legs gave out and he collapsed onto his belly.

"If anything, you should wait for your brothers to avenge YOU!" Ash said, rushing forward and slamming a Force Palm into the incapacitated Mushroom's forehead. The energy blast released by the attack flung Amanita head over thorax and sent him flying out of the ring, where he crashed into a wall and fell right on top of his other three brothers, squishing them.

"Ow," they moaned as Amanita shrank back to his original size. They moaned again when Ash grabbed Morel and threw him onto them as well for good measure.

"And we have a winner! THE FIGHTING FOUR!" the MC shouted as the crowd went wild with applause and accolades. "As if there were ever a doubt! Really, a bunch of mushrooms against a Lucario, an Absol, a Minun with a sword, and…some kind golden Wartortle thing? What were they thinking?"

"Yeah, they didn't stand a chance!" Leo agreed. "Damn shrooms!"

Pikachu smirked. "You don't think they came a bit close a few times?"

Leo laughed. "Ha, definitely not! We're too bad mofos for that!"

Sasha nodded in agreement. "Indeed. If all our foes are this easy to defeat, we will have no problem winning this tournament."

"Whoa…" Ash said, feeling another sense of déjà vu. "Yeah…I've definitely done this kind of thing before." He smiled wryly as he waved to the shrieking masses. "You know…as an Aura Guardian-in-training I know I'm not supposed to approve of fighting for money or glory, but…a guy could get used to this…"

…

A little later…

After they had won their battle and their place in the next round of the tournament had been secured, the Fighting Four were given a once-over by one of the facility's many Nurse Joys, given a clean bill of health, and sent to where they would be staying for the duration of the Mt. Battle tournament, a suite in one of Battlus's nicest hotels. (Not the one Sam and Max had crashed the DeSoto into, thankfully.) They had free Internet hook-up, satellite TV, a minibar full of ridiculously expensive snacks that they had been warned not to touch under any circumstances, a built-in kitchen, two bedrooms, a fold-out sofa bed, air conditioning, a hot tub, and a sliding door that opened onto a balcony that gave them a great view of the other glittering buildings and neon signs and advertisements and the big glowing pit of lava lying beneath it all which made up the town. They could see Mt. Battle, too, but it wasn't exactly easy to miss the great arena in the center of Battlus. They were informed that room service could come up and give them new furniture, bedding, or food at a moment's notice, depending on the preference of the species using a room at a given time. All sorts of Pokemon with various different body structures came to Battlus all the time, so the staff had to be prepared to accommodate the needs of just about every conceivable species of Pokemon in the off-chance that that Pokemon might check in for a night or two.

Before leaving them, the Mt. Battle employee that escorted them to their room handed them an envelope containing their winnings from the last fight plus a certain percentage of the Poke' earned off of the gamblers who had bet against them. Pikachu felt uncomfortable with receiving other people's money for something like this, but had to stay quiet lest he break character. The money wasn't that much, just a few hundred Poke', but they were assured that if they did better in the tournament, they'd receive much more. Leo was the only one who acted and actually was enthused by this. Afterwards, Ash and Pikachu claimed one bedroom for themselves and let Leo have the other one. They offered Sasha the couch bed, but she said she preferred the floor. She didn't like how small the room was, but was happy that it was cool and quiet and wasn't packed full of Pokemon like the last few places they had been.

Even though they felt oddly tired despite the relative ease of their battle, the team was not ready to go to bed just yet. Ash and Pikachu started making dinner using their supplies and some of the things they found in the fridge (the regular one, not the super-expensive one) while Leo got his laptop working and started looking up who else was going to be in the next round with them while connecting to Professor Oak's computer so that they could report on the mission and an amazed Sasha channel-surfed, marveling at the amount of sophistication and technology required to create such a wondrous machine such as a television…and somewhat annoyed that in spite of this, there wasn't really much good on. They had used a gadget Leo built from spare parts and instructions from his MacGyver book earlier to check the room and see if it were bugged, since Ash's Aura-sight and Leo's shades were unable to scan it and make sure it were safe. They discovered it was clean, and so were able to relax and remove their disguises and talk using their real names and motives without fear of being discovered.

Their quiet evening was interrupted by a sudden knock on the door. Leo quickly closed his laptop so nobody could see what he was doing on it, and then hid it in his shell so nobody would see him doing something out of character as Ash put his glasses and mustache back on and cautiously approached the door. "Hello?" he called. There was no reply. The others tensed, and Pikachu reached for his sword. Ash checked the peephole, and saw that nobody was there. Puzzled, he opened the door a crack and noticed that there was an envelope lying on the floor outside, with no Pokemon in sight. Signaling to the others that they were safe, he grabbed the envelope and closed the door.

"What is it?" Pikachu asked as he came back into the suite's main room.

"I think it's a letter, but there's nothing on the envelope," said Ash.

"Open it," said Leo. "But hold it away from you so that, if it's full of poison or booby-trapped, it won't kill you."

Ash sweatdropped. "Paranoid much, Leo?" However, feeling a bit wary himself, he turned from the others, pointed the envelope at a wall, and slit it open with a claw. When nothing came out (nothing visible, anyway) they relaxed and Ash removed the letter from the envelope. He frowned as he read it out loud. "'Mt. Battle holds a dark secret. If you wish to solve it, you must do exactly as I say. More than just your own lives could be in jeopardy if you do not follow my directions. Destroy this letter when you're done and await further instruction. Signed, a friend.'" He frowned and glanced at the others. "What's that all about?"

"Dark secret…could this be related to those Seven Wonders Andy was telling us about?" Pikachu wondered.

"Or maybe it has something to do with the Star Badge!" Leo suggested.

"Can whoever sent this letter be trusted?" Sasha asked skeptically.

Ash shrugged. "I don't know…but I don't need my Aura-sense or whatever you use to predict disasters to believe there might be more to this place than meets the eye. For all we know, it could be another front for the Nihilators, like the Wigglytuff Guild in Treasure Town."

"And if that's the case, then we need to take it down…especially before they realize that the third Star Badge is right under their noses!" said Pikachu.

"Fourth," said Leo.

"Huh?" said Pikachu.

"Fourth. Technically, it's the fourth Star Badge, since they found one before the other two we got then lost," Leo said.

Pikachu rolled his eyes. "Now's not the time to get caught up in semantics, Leo. We need to find that Star Badge, no matter which one it is. I don't entirely trust Ford or that assistant of his, and I wouldn't be surprised if a few of the other fighters in the tournament are a little dodgy too."

Leo nodded in agreement. "Yeah, in spectator sports like this, corruption is less a problem to try and avoid than an absolute given."

"Then we will listen to the advice of our mysterious 'friend?'" Sasha asked.

"Yes, but with a grain of salt," Pikachu said. "If he or she tells us to do things that might get us in trouble or thrown out of the tournament, we'll stop."

"That works," said Ash, crumpling up the letter in his fist and disintegrating it with a burst of Aura flame. "In the meantime…Leo, have the listings for who's fighting whom tomorrow morning been posted yet?"

Leo shook his head. "Not yet. It looks like a lot of the regulars and some of the strongest newcomers made it, though. Including the Pokerockers. Wonder if we'll have to fight them. That would be pretty weird, wouldn't it?"

"No, it would be totally AWESOME!" Pikachu cried. Everyone stared at him. He coughed. "Uh, I mean, it would be very interesting. Yeah."

Leo raised an eyebrow. "You know, I could download some of their songs onto my portable music player if you wanted…"

"Really?! Uh, I mean, that won't be necessary…" Pikachu said, laughing nervously. The others sweatdropped.

"You're not doing a very good job of hiding the fact that you're a closet fan of them…" Ash said.

"Just like you're not doing a good job of hiding the fact that you're in love with Misty!" Pikachu retorted.

Ash blinked. "…Wait, what?! First of all, I'm totally not, and second, what does one have to do with the other?"

"Your mother!" Pikachu said immaturely and uncharacteristically, desperately trying to change the subject.

"She's _your_ mother too!" Ash pointed out.

They started arguing petulantly. Sasha and Leo sweatdropped. "Did they do this kind of thing when you were teamed up with them too?" Leo asked the Absol.

"All the time," she said deadpan. "You wouldn't believe the number of times they almost caused an avalanche that would have killed us all if I hadn't sensed it in time…"

"You suck!" Ash yelled.

"No, _you_ suck!" Pikachu replied.

"No, YOU suck!" Ash shouted.

"No, _YOU_ suck!" Pikachu cried.

"Yes. Yes, I can…" Leo said with a groan, facepalming.

…

Meanwhile, somewhere else in Sinnorre…

"Can you guys let me down now? My limbs are startin' to feel numb…" Mickey complained.

"I'm not finished yet," Wabbaku murmured, only half-paying attention to the cat as he dipped his flipper in a bowl of paint and smeared more of his special mixture onto Mickey's back, completing another one of the several very intricate mystic sigils he had been spending the last few hours applying to the feline. "Hold still, otherwise I'll mess up and we'll have to start all over again."

"Right, sorry," Mickey said, trying his hardest not to move. He did not want to ruin his shaman friend's concentration, especially considering the nature of what he was doing. Mickey was currently suspended between two trees that were relatively close together, his limbs stretched out to either side by ropes tied to the trunks. His tail was also stretched out behind him by a fifth rope tied to a nearby stump. It was rather painful, but necessary for Wabbaku to perform his magic.

Mickey crossed his eyes, angrily staring at the red clown nose on his face that was the cause of this entire ruckus. _I wish I'd just left you behind in dat tower on top of all dose broken games,_ he thought angrily. _Den I wouldn't be in dis mess!_

"Oh, will it be much longer?" James asked anxiously. "He looks so uncomfortable!"

"Chiii!" Chimecho chimed from his spot around James' head.

"It'll take as long as it needs to!" Gardenia said angrily. "Now shush and watch the expert at work!" Of course, none of them were watching Wabbaku as intently as she was.

"What exactly is the point of all this again?" Jessie asked. "Is this going to get rid of the demon inside Mickey?"

"For the fifth time, Miss Jessie, no," Wabbaku said as he carefully painted some stripes onto Mickey's tail. "The demon is somewhat more powerful than I thought, and has sunk its claws deeply into Mickey's body and soul. I do not have all the ingredients on me that I require to perform an exorcism strong enough to banish a demon this powerful, so I'm trying to delay its corruption of Mickey by applying these sealing wards. They will keep its power from spreading and also keep it from awakening completely and taking control of Mickey's body. At the moment it's still mostly dormant, and these wards will keep it that way until I can get everything I need to do the exorcism."

"What's that stuff made of, anyway?" Buzz asked, hovering a little too close to Wabbaku for the shaman's comfort. "It smells tasty."

The Wobbuffet waved him off. "Trust me, you don't want to know."

"Tell me!" Buzz demanded.

Wabbaku sighed. "Well, among several different herbs and berries, I also used some of Miss Jessie's ground-up wing scales, Chimecho's drool, Mickey's armpit hair, a dash of blood, red dye no. 3, some artificial sweeteners…"

"Eh, I've eaten worse," Buzz said, unimpressed.

"I still wouldn't recommend eating it, there's a chance you'll either be poisoned, die, or get transformed into a Wurmple," Wabbaku warned him.

"Ah. Never mind," Buzz said, backing off.

Mickey blinked. "Uh, wait a sec…but, um…dat might be a problem. Since, you know, I'm a cat, and we kinda clean ourselves with our tongues…"

"I would not recommend that," Wabbaku said gravely. "At the moment, these wards are the only things keeping the demon's power from consuming you. If any of them were to be broken, the consequences would be disastrous. I think it would be best if your refrain from licking yourself or getting your fur wet for the foreseeable future, at least until I can prepare a proper exorcism, that is."

"B-but dat means Mickey's gonna be all smelly!" protested Mickey, so alarmed that he referred to himself in the third person.

"Yeah, and stinky fur isn't really something I want to have to smell for long periods of time," Jessie complained.

"I love Mickey dearly, but even I don't want to be around him when he hasn't washed for a while!" James said.

"Chiiii!" Chimecho chimed vapidly.

Mickey sweatdropped. "Gee, thanks guys, glad to know how much you care…"

"Don't do that!" Wabbaku hissed angrily, knocking the sweatdrop off Mickey's head. "You'll ruin the wards!"

"Oh, sorry," Mickey said apologetically.

"How long will it take you to do a proper exorcism?" Gardenia asked.

"As I said before, I'm lacking some vital ingredients. If I get those, however, I should be able to complete the ceremony in a matter of hours," Wabbaku said.

"Great!" said James. "So where do we find them?"

Wabbaku paused. "Well…let's just say that most of them aren't going to be available at your local grocery store or Kecleon Bros. franchise…" They groaned.

"Oh, forget it!" Jessie snapped. "We don't have time for this; we need to find Team Aurabolt! We've wasted too much time on Mickey's possession already; we need to catch up to those two before we lose them forever! And the Boss won't be happy about that, now will he?"

They shuddered at the thought. "No, he wouldn't…" Mickey agreed.

"But we can't leave Mickey like this!" James protested. "It's dangerous to both his health and ours for him to be possessed!"

"Not as long as we keep him and those sealing wards nice and dry," Jessie pointed out.

"But then we'll have to smell him and his body odor for however long it takes us to catch Ash and Pikachu, and then find the ingredients!" Gardenia pointed out.

Mickey almost sweatdropped, then remembered he wasn't supposed to. "I don't smell _that_ bad when I don't bathe for a while, do I?"

"Yes," Wabbaku said as he applied more paint to Mickey's chest.

"There will be no arguing!" Buzz buzzed angrily. "The Queen has made her decision! We shall seek out Team Aurabolt, and deal with the smelly kitten later!"

"Figures you'd side with her…" Gardenia grumbled.

"Wabbaku, isn't there anything else we can do?" James pleaded.

Wabbaku thought for a moment as he finished the last of the wards. He listened to the spirits for guidance, and perked up at their advice. "Actually…according to the spirits, Team Aurabolt is currently in a place called Giant Volcano. If we go there, not only would we be able to catch them, but we might also find some volcanic ash and other minerals that I could use in the exorcism ritual."

James sighed in relief. "That's perfect!"

"Yeah, and I don't have to be stinky for too long!" Mickey agreed. "Now, can you let me down? I've got dis itch dat I just can't scratch…"

"Not yet," Wabbaku said, backing away. "Now we need to wait for the paint to dry."

"OH FOR THE LOVE OF-" Mickey shouted.

…

Meanwhile, in Chicole Town…

The Mayor of Chicole town, an old Cherrim with a big mustache made of cherry leaves, gave Team Nightshade and Maren a grave look. "So…you're adventures who seek to defeat the evil Hissssa?"

"Actually, we're looking for a piece of a magic compass, but if we could defeat that big snake that's troubling you in the process, bully for us," Gary said.

The Mayor sighed. "I'm afraid that you will have to do both if you are to get what you seek…you are the second group of warriors to come to town seeking that compass piece entrusted to us so long ago, and I must tell you the same thing I told the last bunch: we used to have it, but the vain Hissssa demanded we give it to her to add to her collection of pretty, glittering things and other treasures!"

"Who can blame her?" Evan said understandingly.

"Were the last group to ask about the compass from the Mirage Kingdom?" Maren asked.

The Mayor nodded. "I believe so. They said they were on an urgent mission of royal importance or something like that. When I told them Hissssa had the compass piece, they immediately set out for the beast's lair…and they never returned."

"They must have gotten eaten…" Mary murmured.

"Or maybe they just chickened out and ran," Gary suggested.

"Ridiculous! Mirage Kingdom soldiers are fearless, ever-loyal, and never turn away from performing their duty, even in the face of overwhelming odds!" Maren said automatically, flushing when they stared at her and remembering she was just supposed to be a boat captain and not a member of the Mirage Kingdom's special forces.

"The Mirage Kingdom sssoldiersss are alssso basssically walking eggsss," Evan said caustically. "Ssso, yeah, I don't really give them much of a chance againssst a giant sssnake. Ssspeaking of which…" He leaned closer to the Mayor. "Tell usss sssome more about Hisssssssa."

"Hissssa," the Mayor corrected.

"Yeah, I know," said Evan.

The Mayor shrugged. "There's not much to tell. She showed up not too long ago and demanded we regularly sacrifice our young men who had just reached maturity to her or else she would destroy our village. Ever since that day, she's shown up every few weeks, on the dot, and we have no choice but to give her one of our most beloved sons to prevent her from killing us all."

"Does she eat her victims right there and then, or take them back to her lair?" Gary asked.

"She takes them home with her, to eat in the confines of her demesnes," the Mayor said.

"If you don't actually see her eat your kids, then how do you know they're actually dead and not just being held prisoner or something?" Mary asked.

The Mayor frowned. "Because lots of adventurers, explorers, warriors, and even a few townspeople went after her in search of revenge but never returned. How could she possibly be holding that many Pokemon captive? Plus, she _says_ she eats them, and while she may have a forked tongue, there's really no reason for us not to believe her in regards to the status of our children."

"What doesss having a forked tongue have to do with anything?" Evan asked, perplexed as he briefly extended his own forked tongue to sniff the air. (Since snakes smell with their tongues, not their noses, as odd as that might sound.)

"So anyway, this big snake has the compass piece?" Gary asked, changing the subject.

"That's correct," the Mayor said.

"I don't suppose you know where its lair is?" Mary asked.

The Mayor sighed. "Many have looked, but-"

"Yeah, yeah, none have returned, we know," Evan said.

"We know it is somewhere to the north of here, but more than that, I can't say for sure," the Mayor said apologetically.

"Hmm…if that's the case, then if we're going to get that compass piece, we'll have to wait until the next sacrifice and follow the beast back to its lair!" Gary decided.

The Mayor started. "Wh-what? But if you do that, you'll almost certainly be killed!"

"I'm a Ghost. That's not really a problem," Gary said.

"Yeah, but we aren't," Mary pointed out. "So for us, it kind of is."

"Look, if we could beat a Devil Golem, I'm sure we can defeat a giant two-headed snake. I mean, it's not like we have much trouble beating Evan around, right?" Gary said.

"Hey!" Evan shouted.

The Mayor blinked in surprise. "You defeated a Devil Golem?! Oh my…perhaps you _could_ defeat her…" Oddly, he looked more worried than hopeful as he said this. Maren picked up on it at once.

"Sir, if I might ask…why exactly are you using Hissssa's consumption of your children as a way to draw tourists to your village?" the Togetic asked.

The Mayor hesitated. "Well…times are tough, you know? Fish aren't as easy to catch these days as they used to be, what with overfishing and overpopulation and pollution from big cities and then there's the economy and…you get the idea. And it doesn't help that so many of our young mons are being snatched away from us. While it means fewer mouths to feed, it also gives us less hands to work, making it harder to support the people who are still here. So…we got desperate, and sent out word that we needed help. Warriors came to try and kill Hissssa, and failed, but it seemed that the rumors of the beast had spread beyond their circle and tourists started coming around and wanting to see the sacrifices. We were appalled at first, naturally, but when they started offering us significant sums of money to stay and watch…well…how could we refuse?"

Evan nodded. "A practical measssure. We underssstand."

"I don't," Maren grumbled.

"If Hissssa has the compass piece, then it's unlikely that Princess Sara is anywhere near here, unless the Berry King left her under the monster's care, which I doubt," Mary said. "Should we leave and check out the next possible spot?"

"Of course not! We're a Rescue Team, helping people in need is what we do!" Gary said indignantly. "And besides, it sounds like Hissssa has a ton of loot we could take for ourselves…Don't worry, mister Mayor, we'll stop that nefarious serpent or die trying!"

"That'sss what I'm afraid of…" Evan muttered.

"…" The Mayor sighed. "There's no way I can change your mind, is there? Very well, if you truly think you can defeat Hissssa and save our town, despite the great danger involved, I suppose I can't stop you. If you defeat her, you may have the compass piece you were looking for and as much of her treasure hoard as you can carry."

"Sweet!" said Gary.

"When is the next sacrifice?" Gary asked.

"A few days. It is…" The Mayor paused and sighed. "It is to be my son, Jerry."

"Ah. A Cherrim like yourself?" Mary asked.

"Actually, no, he's a Cherubi," the Mayor said.

Evan blinked. "Ssstill? I thought you sssaid Hisssssa only ate _mature_ boys."

"He's a late bloomer!" the Mayor said defensively. They groaned at the inadvertent pun.

Gary nodded. "Right! Here's what we'll do. We'll wait until Hissssa comes for Jerry, then follow her back to her lair, kill her when she least expects it, and take the compass piece and the rest of her treasure! Oh, and save Jerry too. Shouldn't be that hard, right?"

"You probably ssshouldn't have sssaid that…" Evan asked. "Hey, Mayor…we heard in town that Hissssssa hasss two headsss. Is that right?"

He nodded. "Yes, two heads…as if one wasn't bad enough!"

"Isss the sssecond head growing next to the firssst, like a Doduo, or isss it on the end of her tail, like a Girafarig?" Evan asked.

"The tail, why?" the Mayor asked.

"And isss the tail one bigger or sssmaller than the front one?" Evan continued, ignoring the Mayor's question.

The Mayor blinked. "Uh, the same size. But-"

"And do the two headsss ssspeak asss one or argue with each other?" Evan pressed.

"Um…I think they've argued with each other once or twice. But why do you care?" the Mayor asked.

"Oh, I wasss jussst trying to decide if ssshe wasss hot or not," Evan said, causing everyone else to facefault.

"Hey wait, if she has a head on either end of her body…then how does she go to the bathroom?" asked a confused Gary.

"She probably has an anus on the underbelly in the midsection between the two heads," Mary reasoned.

Evan nodded. "Yeah, that'sss where mine isss."

Maren sweatdropped. "Do we really need to be talking about snake anuses right now?"

"Yes," said Gary. "Otherwise, how will we know where to aim when we're kicking her ass?" Everyone stared at him. He laughed nervously. "That sounded better in my head…"

"Hmm…" the Mayor murmured to himself as Team Nightshade started making plans for how they would take down Hissssa. _Perhaps we have nothing to worry about after all…_

…

Meanwhile, in Pokemon Square…

"I apologize that it's taken me this long to get a chance to talk with you, Aaron," Mayor Mayur Whiscash the XXXVIIth said to Aaron, who was kneeling on the speaking platform in the Mayor's residence. "Considering how long you've been in town already. But I've been incredibly busy dealing with the day-to-day problems of running Pokemon Square, as well as making preparations for the impending siege."

"Exactly when _is_ this siege going to happen?" Aaron asked.

The Mayor shrugged. "No clue. Sabrina wasn't really specific. It's just going to happen sometime in the near future…and when it _does _happen, we'll be ready!"

"Even though, from what both of us have heard, the shield wall will fall no matter what?" Aaron asked.

The Mayor smirked. "Aaron, we both know that the shield and our fine fighting citizenry and Rescue Teams aren't the _only_ defense Pokemon Square has against enemies."

This was true. Over the years since Pokemon Square's founding, a number of weapons and fortifications had been installed in the town's defense system to make it even unlikelier that, in the event the shield fell, the town could be overtaken by barbarians. That didn't mean they _wouldn't_ be able to do it if they had sufficient numbers and possibly air and sea support, just that it'd be cussed hard for them to do so. Aside from the many skilled fighters among the townsPokemon, a few of whom were pretty good snipers who could easily shoot at anyone who got too close to the outer perimeter, the bridge across the moat was retractable, the gates were made of almost impenetrable metal shed by very old Steelixes, and the walls were equipped with tubes that could sprinkle acid made of concentrated Muk sweat on invaders along with catapults, poisoned spears, arbalests, cauldrons of boiling pitch, burning arrows, and throwing axes. Not only that, but the walls were also rigged so that they could actually _move_, with certain blocks shifting in and out and then entire rows revolving around each other to create a giant mincing machine that would pulverize anyone who managed to evade the various weapons and tried scaling the walls. And even if they jumped off they still wouldn't be safe, because they had retractable stakes hidden in the moat to impale anyone foolish enough to fall into or swim across it. And the moat itself also had heating pipes running underneath it so that, with a turn of a few valves, the water could be made boiling hot and utterly impossible to swim across. And that was just the _start_ of some of the surprises the town had in store! There were more than a few special defenses within the city proper just in case any invader somehow managed to penetrate the great walls…

Now, considering that they already had a nearly impervious force field, you'd think this was overkill (and some of the citizens actually did), but all the Mayors in the past had justified the expenditures necessary to create these super fortifications by claiming that someday they would all be necessary. And if Sabrina and Krysta's predictions were correct, it looked as if the time when they would be needed was drawing near.

"Even with all that, you know as well as I do that no fortress is completely impenetrable," Aaron warned him.

The Mayor made a face. "Don't you think I know that? That's why I'm recalling just about every Rescue Team in the field, stepping up combat training and patrols, stockpiling food and supplies…basically; doing everything I can to make sure this city survives the coming battle."

Aaron furrowed his brow. "Speaking of which…not that I'm saying Pokemon Square is insignificant, Mayor, for I love this place as much as you do…but why is everyone trying so hard to destroy it? I know why the barbarians wish to, but why does the evil force backing them want us gone? Why exactly will the destruction of Pokemon Square mean the end of the world?"

The Mayor hesitated. Aaron could see his Aura trembling with wariness and unease, buffering itself with a sense of duty and underlined by a deep need for secrecy. "That…isn't something I'm ready to tell anyone, Aaron. Not even you. It is the greatest secret I have been entrusted with as leader of this community, and I do not want to reveal it to anybody lest the wrong person hears. Not that I don't trust you, Aaron, but…it's not something I'm willing to talk about just yet."

Aaron frowned. The Mayor was keeping a tight clamp down on his thoughts and feelings regarding this topic, he could glean no hints about whatever this great secret was from the Whiscash's Aura. Then again, the Mayor had always been good at keeping secrets. "It might help us defend the town better if we knew what exactly we were protecting."

The Mayor laughed bitterly. "Aaron, my friend, if I told you, it'd only make everyone more anxious and on edge…and given the current circumstances, that's not something we can afford right now. I will tell you someday, I promise, but today is not that day."

Aaron silently tried probing for a few moments longer, but the Mayor's mind was as heavily fortified as the city walls. Not bad, for a giant catfish. Reluctantly, he dropped the subject and asked another, slightly more pressing question. "Can you tell me, then, where exactly my old friend Allen is and when he will be returning? I've tried picking Scotty's brain, but not even he knows where you sent them."

The Mayor paused. "I'm not sure I should be talking to you about this either-"

"Come on, telling me can't possibly be as bad as letting slip whatever other secrets you're hiding, can it?" Aaron asked, putting on all his charm.

"No, but it could still be pretty bad," the Mayor said. "I know you and Allen were friends and teammates, but if I didn't tell Raiki when he asked, why should I tell you?"

"Because I asked you politely?" Aaron joked.

The Mayor sighed, and Aaron smirked inwardly as he saw the guardedness in the Whiscash's Aura relent slightly, knowing that he'd won. "Well…perhaps it is time I let someone know…they've been gone a rather long time, longer than I had hoped. They could be in trouble…"

"Where did you send them?" Aaron asked.

"I sent them…to the lair of the Monkey King," the Mayor said finally.

Aaron started. "What?! You sent them into the heart of enemy territory?! That's practically a death sentence! Even I would have trouble penetrating the King's fortress and getting out in one piece!"

"I had to!" the Mayor said defensively. "The Monkey King is the source of the increasing barbarian activity! By knowing what he's up to, and how he's connected to the sinister force that threatens our world, we'll be better able to prepare ourselves for whatever he's planning. And the only way I saw to do that was to send a team in to infiltrate his lair…and Team A.C.T. is the best team we have ever since Auraforce broke up due to your departure, and the only one with a chance of succeeding."

"But if they've been gone this long…" Aaron murmured.

"Then they might have been captured. I am aware of that," the Mayor said unhappily. "On the other hand, they might still be alive, but in hiding, unable to find a way back home to us just yet. They're so deep in barbarian lands there isn't really any way they can get a message back to tell us if they're okay. I had them deactivate their Badges as a safety measure, because sometimes the signals they give out can be detected by certain Pokemon and alert them to their presence. I could have Scotty remotely turn them back on to help us figure out their condition, but if they're still alive and undercover…"

"Then we could get them caught right in the middle of finding out something really important," Aaron finished. "And while we would be able to beam them out, we might lose whatever chance we had at finding out what the King is really planning."

The Mayor nodded. "Exactly. The reason I haven't told anyone this is because I don't want anyone panicking at the thought that the great Team A.C.T. might possibly have been defeated…and also so certain young and overconfident bucks don't get the bright idea to go out and 'rescue' them and get themselves killed."

Aaron nodded. "I see. And while I am neither young nor overconfident, I suppose that applies to me too…" He sighed. "Very well. It pains me to think of Allen and his friends out there all alone, but…if going after them might only make things worse for them, I'll stay put here and wait for any word of them, just like everyone else."

"Can't you use your Aura powers to see if they're all right?" the Mayor asked.

"…" Aaron sighed despondently, his shoulders sagging under the weight of an old failure. "It's never that easy…"

There was a loud splash, and both Pokemon glanced over to see Pichu and Team GX standing at the edge of the pond, watching as a spluttering, wailing Matthias struggled not to drown. "Help! HEEEEELP!"

"Huh," said Junior. "I guess he can't swim after all. Guess that answers that question."

"Kids! What do you think you're doing?!" Raiki asked angrily as he walked over and saw what his son and grandchildren were up to.

"Matthias wasn't sure if he knew how to swim or not, so we decided to find out for ourselves," Collette explained as Junior fished the soaking wet Matthias out of the water.

"And it turns out he can't! Weird, huh?" said Pichu.

"Yeah, what kind of Pokemon doesn't know how to swim?" Sapphire, who was a Water Pokemon and therefore instinctively knew how to swim, asked as she floated on top of her buoyant tail on the surface of the pond.

"One who grew up in a place with no deep lakes or rivers…" Matthias moaned as water dripped off him and formed a puddle under his feet.

Raiki frowned and put his hands on his hips. "He doesn't know how to swim?! Preposterous! No son of mine is going to go through life without knowing how to swim! Why, my great-great uncle Joemon didn't know how to swim, and he drowned when he tried to fight the wicked Dewgong queen Sirena! He managed to take her down with him, but if he had known how to swim he'd have been able to walk away from that debacle! Matthias, in addition to your daily training in walking on two legs and using a sword, you're going to take swimming lessons until you're as good in the water as Sapphire!"

The Azurill giggled as she bobbed in the water. "Which won't be easy. I wasn't _born_ this good, you know."

"Yes you were," said Collette.

"Oh. Never mind, then," said Sapphire.

Matthias groaned and collapsed onto his belly. "Oh, _come on!_ I can't do this! I'm not meant to be a great warrior! I'm just a lowly, stupid wild Rattata! Why do you keep trying to make me something I'm not?!"

"Just because you aren't a warrior now doesn't mean you won't be someday," Raiki said sternly. "Is that really how you perceive yourself Matthias? That you do not belong in this family or are not cut out to be a hero simply because you are not of this city and had the bad luck to be born as a Rattata rather than a Pikachu?"

"Pretty much, yeah," Matthias said.

Raiki shook his head in disappointment. "Hmmph. I thought you'd learned more than that by now, son. As I've told your older brother so many times, it's not the sword that matters, but the mon who wields it. It doesn't matter what species you are so long as you have the guts to stand up for what's right and fight against evil whenever it rears its head. I believe wholeheartedly that you are capable of doing that, Matthias…because if you did not, do you really think I would have accepted you into this family?"

Matthias blinked in surprise. "Wh-what do you mean?"

Raiki smirked. "I may be a nice guy, kiddo, but I'm not one to take on 'charity cases.' The reason I adopted you rather than letting some other family take you was because, after hearing about you and what you've been through, I knew that you belonged with us. Your entire family was either killed or captured, and instead of giving up and/or dying, you actually fought to stay alive, running so far and so fast that you actually came pretty close to Pokemon Square, where my sons found you. A Pokemon who can evade the clutches of the Monkey King's soldiers for so long without giving in has all the makings of a hero in my book."

"But I ran because I was afraid!" Matthias protested.

"So? You don't think heroes can be scared sometimes?" Raiki retorted. "Junior is scared of heights. Collette fears Bug Pokemon, much like her mother. Sapphire is terrified of dying from dehydration. That doesn't stop them from traveling to insect-infested mountains in waterless deserts when there are Pokemon in need there, though!"

"We actually went to one just last month," said Collette. "Parts of it were pretty nasty, but we still got out okay."

"Says you. I still have nightmares of falling…" Junior muttered.

"Well, I'm not afraid of anything!" Pichu said boldly.

"Look out, your action figures have come to life and want to kill you!" Junior yelled, pointing in a random direction with his trunk. Pichu screamed and jumped into the water, causing his nephew and nieces and father to burst into laughter. He flushed angrily when he realized he'd been had. "That wasn't funny…"

"Yes it was," said Sapphire.

"Anyway, my point is you don't need to be fearless to be a hero. Actually, it gets in the way," Raiki said.

"But I'm scared of almost everything due to growing up in a place where I'm at the bottom of the food chain!" Matthias pointed out.

"Eh, we'll work that out of you," Raiki said. He picked the still-damp Matthias off the ground. "By the time I'm through with you, you'll be a true hero! Now, if you're done feeling sorry for yourself, it's time for sword practice!"

"Yay!" said Pichu as Raiki led his family away from the pond. "I love sword practice!"

"Woohoo…" Matthias said unhappily as he was carried away.

"Raiki's grown to be a good family mon, don't you think?" the Mayor commented as he and Aaron watched the Thunderblades depart.

"Yeah…" Aaron said wistfully.

"Hmm…that give you any ideas about settling down and having some kids of your own?" the Mayor asked. "After all, your species is sort of dying out…"

Aaron hesitated. He wasn't really in the mood to try and explain his relationship with Krysta, or how there was little to no chance of them ever having children. "I'm not sure that's an option for me," he said, somewhat sadly.

"A bachelor for life, eh?" the Mayor said, misunderstanding. "Well, I'm sorry to hear that. You know that just about any womon in town would do you if you asked."

"And the womon who'd offer herself to me like that is a good choice for a life partner?" Aaron asked skeptically.

"Good point," the Mayor said.

Suddenly, Raiki and the kids ran back to the pond, worried looks on their faces. "Aaron, you have to get out of here! Your fangirls found out you were speaking to the Mayor and are rushing over en masse to try and have babies with you!" the samurai Raichu cried.

Aaron paled. "Wow, speak of the devil," said the Mayor.

"EEEEE!" the approaching fangirls screeched.

"I should probably get out of here," Aaron said anxiously. "Goodbye Mayor, it was nice speaking with you. Raiki, I'll be home later…I hope." Aura burst from his feet and he flew into the air.

"Nooooo! He's getting away!" a fangirl screamed.

"After him!" yelled another.

They stampeded after the flying Lucario, leaving the Thunderblades and the Mayor behind. Raiki frowned. "No fair…he _always_ had the biggest fanclub!"

"When am I gonna learn how to fly?!" Pichu asked angrily.

"Never," said Collete.

"I don't see why you want to fly, anyway. It's safer on the ground," Junior commented.

"I think the water's safer," said Sapphire. "So long as you know how to swim, that is!"

Matthias sweatdropped. "Are things ever going to stop being weird around here?"

"No," said Raiki.

"Ha! You think that was weird? You haven't seen what the second Thursday of the month is like! Now _that's_ weird!" the Mayor said.

"Why? What happens on the second Thursday of the month?" Matthias asked.

"Oh, you'll find out soon enough…soon enough…" the Mayor said ominously. He and the rest of the Thunderblades started laughing malevolently, while a terrified and confused Matthias found himself wishing that he had been adopted by a saner family…or possibly killed by the monkeys instead, there were times when that looked like a much better option than living in this nuthouse….

Well, not _that_ much better…

…

And another chapter is done! Go me.

What do you think of the addition of Sasha to the cast? And any of the other developments which occurred in this chapter?


	24. Day 1: Who likes egg on hot dogs anyway?

And we have passed the first anniversary of this story. I've been writing Brave New World for a little over a year now! Wow, go me! Let's hope I keep doing this…but not for too many years, otherwise the story will get kind of long and drawn out, you know what I mean?

A point of warning before you start reading. Sam and Max are going to appear again this chapter, and if you aren't fond of them, that could be a problem. After this chapter, however, they won't be seen for a while. Just so you know.

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters that don't belong to me.

…

The first day of Mt. Battle's tenth anniversary tournament was well underway. Team Aurabolt had already started their first match of the day in one of the arena's smaller rings, a battlefield identical to the one they had used the previous night, and they were doing fairly well so far in their fight.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Leo screamed as he ran away as fast as he could from AJ the Slasher, a Sandslash veteran fighter who was way bigger and stronger than the faux Wartortle, and also had really big sharp claws and spines.

"Get back here! I'm gonna take your head off, you little brat!" AJ yelled angrily as he chased after Leo, waving his famous claws over his head.

Yeah, I was lying. So sue me.

"Well folks, looks like the not-so-jive King K can (barely) talk the talk, but is completely unable to walk the walk! What a shocker! It just goes to show you that type advantage isn't everything, huh folks?" the MC commented. The audience booed Leo's cowardly behavior and cheered on AJ, the more experienced and crowd favorite.

On a bench near the ring, Ash put his face in his hands. "Oh, Leo…"

"Whose idea was it to put him in there alone with that guy?!" asked Pikachu.

"It seemed like a good idea at the time. He said he knew AJ's style from watching him on TV," Ash said. "And he has the type advantage…"

"Which amounts to zilch considering that AJ's apparently trained himself to have a partial resistance to Water!" Pikachu snapped. "Under the circumstances, I think _I'd_ have a better chance against that guy than Leo!"

"But he's immune to Electricity," Ash pointed out.

"Yeah, and I have a sword. Wonder which would win, my blade or his claws? Too bad I couldn't bring Thunder Fang…" Pikachu muttered.

"If this keeps up, we're going to lose the tournament…" Sasha said unhappily as Leo ran by, screaming. "On the other hand, he's done a surprisingly good job of keeping out of AJ's range so far. I'd have thought he'd have gotten caught by now, what with his weight, lack of exercise, and his species' general disinclination for speed."

"Well, the power of raw terror can do a lot for you," Ash said.

AJ actually seemed to be getting worn out from chasing Leo all over the place. One had to wonder if that had been Leo's strategy all along, or just good luck. "Ugh…will you slow down, already?! I promise I'll make it quick if you just give up already!"

"Yeah, I really don't think so!" Leo yelled over his shoulder, spitting Bubbles at the Sandslash. "I'd rather get out of this with my shell in one piece, if you don't mind!"

AJ snorted and retaliated with Fury Swipes, his claws popping the Bubbles before they could even reach him. "Look kid, I won 100 straight matches before coming to Mt. Battle, and while I'd rather my 102nd be to a worthier opponent, pickers can't be choosers, so just hold still and we can both get on with our lives!"

"'Worthier?!' Hey, I'm plenty worthy!" Leo said angrily.

"Says the guy who's running all over the place, screaming his head off?" AJ taunted.

Leo frowned, realizing the Sandslash was right. Perhaps it was time he actually tried fighting back… "Well, I'm not running anymore!" Leo retorted, retracting into his shell and lunging at AJ's chest with a Rapid Spin.

AJ batted Leo's shell into the air with a claw swipe. "That all you got? Pathetic."

Leo popped back out of his shell while in midair and used his height to spray a Water Gun all over the place, dousing the stage and making the floor wet. "Ha! How about this, tough guy? Call this pathetic?"

"Yes," AJ said flatly, completely unharmed. "I've trained to resist Water, remember? But have you trained to resist Swift?" He started throwing glowing stars at Leo.

"This count?" Leo replied, spitting Bubbles. The projectiles collided and exploded in midair, covering the stage in smoke as Leo landed back on the ground. He heard splashing as AJ's footsteps displaced the water he'd covered the floor with, and he quickly pulled his head back into his shell just before one of the Sandslash's claws swished through the air and nearly took it off.

He popped it back up just in time to ram it into AJ's gut (by accident, actually, but it caused AJ to gasp and lose his breath, so Leo could pretend later that it was all part of his plan), causing the Sandslash to double over in pain. Leo quickly retracted completely into his shell and spun beneath AJ's legs, knocking him off balance and causing him to hit the floor face-first. "Uh!"

"What, didn't you train to resist someone hitting you in the gut?" Leo joked…from a safe distance. Several feet away.

"You!" AJ snarled. Abruptly, he curled into a rather large spiked ball and started spinning towards Leo in a Rollout.

"Waaaah!" Leo popped back into his shell and raced off with Rapid Spin, skimming across the wet floor and spraying water all over the place as he frantically tried to keep from being crushed under AJ's very large, very pointy spines.

"Well, that bit with the headbutt and undercutting AJ's feet was rather clever, folks, but now he's gone back to running for dear life! Guess we can chalk up another victory for AJ's currently unbroken winning streak!" the MC commented, causing most of the crowd to cheer AJ and boo Leo's cowardice.

"They are not very nice Pokemon," Sasha commented with a frown as she heard some of the rude things the audience was shouting about Leo.

"Not really, spectator sports rile up pretty much anyone that's very into them," said Ash.

Pikachu nodded in agreement. "You wouldn't believe how excited my dad gets whenever it's time for football season. It gets very hard to pry him away from the TV set…or make him take off that stupid hat with the cupholders…"

Back in the ring, Leo whirled in a zigzag pattern to try and throw AJ off. The larger and less maneuverable Sandslash opted to just barrel right after the fake Wartortle in a straight (well, curved) line, throwing water up on either side as he rolled after Leo. His spines were getting soaked from rolling across the wet floor, but AJ didn't really notice, too intent on flattening the irritating turtle.

And by doing so, he played right into Leo's hands. Leo spun right towards the edge of the stage, only to swerve to the side and skid out of the way at the last second, using the slippery surface he had made and his naturally hydrodynamic body to easily change direction without fear of spinning out of control. AJ, however, being larger, more cumbersome, and not as adept at maneuvering on a wet ground as Leo, found himself unable to turn away from the edge in time and started skidding uncontrollably towards the boundary of the ring. He quickly uncurled and tried to dig his toes and claws into the ground to stop himself, but couldn't get much traction in the water-soaked stone, and only managed to slow himself by the slightest of margins. He managed to stop himself before he could fall out of the ring, but teetered on the edge, struggling to regain his footing as the weight of the heavy spines on his back threatened to ruin his balance and pull him onto the ground below, which would end the match and break his streak.

Leo spun back over to AJ and popped out of his shell. He smirked, seeing the Sandslash's predicament, and walked over as AJ desperately waved his arms to keep from falling over. Slowly, Leo extended a single finger, holding it only molecules away from AJ's chest. The Slasher gave him a wide-eyed look that said, _Don't you dare…_

Leo dared. He gently pushed AJ in the center of his chest, tipping the Sandslash over and causing him to land on his back outside the ring, instantly losing the battle. The audience stared a moment, stunned. Finally, the surprised MC said, "Well, uh, it looks like we have a winner! And it's King K! Imagine that…"

"Woo! Go King K!" Ash shouted from the bench. That seemed to be the catalyst that broke the tension and caused the crowd to, reluctantly at first but with steadily growing excitement, begin cheering for Leo. The Wartortle humbly accepted the applause.

"Yatt—ah, yes, I won! Ha! In yo faces, hos! And you thought I couldn't do it! Well, look who's laughing now, bitches! Me! That's right! I'm laughing! Hahahahaha…yeah. Word," he said. "That's how we do it in the hood, fools!"

Yes, I lied again. Want to make something of it?

"Ugh…I don't believe this…my losing streak was broken by a loudmouthed wannabe punk like you?!" AJ asked in disbelief as he pulled himself to his feet.

"Hey, there's nothing wannabe about me, I'm one hundred percent grade-A gangsta!" Leo said, thrusting his pelvis forward.

"No you're not," AJ said flatly.

Leo flushed. "Well…okay, maybe not, but I still beat you! And you might have actually won if you had taken me seriously and given it your all rather than just treating me like some pest who was practically beneath your notice! I bet if you'd fought one of my teammates, you'd have tried harder and shown off some of your better moves!"

"…I suppose you're right," AJ said reluctantly. "I guess I was a little too overconfident. 101 consecutive wins does that to a guy."

"Dude, that many straight wins doesn't mean jackshit unless they're against opponents who matter," Leo said. "An easy win against someone who's nowhere near your level is hardly a win at all! How many of those consecutive fights were against someone who was able to really hit back hard?"

AJ nodded slowly. "You're right…I guess I became more focused on building up a good record than on making myself stronger by fighting an opponent who'd give me a challenge. No wonder I lost, if I was expecting you to be just like all the others…huh. Guess I learned something today. Maybe I'm not the loser here after all…"

"Yes you are," Leo said. "Since I'm advancing in the tournament, and get some prize money, while you're going to have to leave and try again some other time, fool!"

"Maybe so," AJ said. "But I'm going to train harder and fight stronger opponents so that the next time we fight, I'll whup your ass!"

"Heh, I highly doubt that!" Leo said, because he had no intention of ever fighting AJ again and would let Ash or Pikachu do it instead. "But whenever you want a rematch, I'll be waiting!" he lied.

"I'll take you up on that someday," AJ said, extending a claw. Leo carefully took the claw and shook it so as not to get cut by the sharp edges.

"Wow, look at that, folks! The winner and the loser are shaking hands, with no apparent resentment from the latter towards the former for being beaten by him! What camaraderie! What sportsmanship! What…utter sappiness! The crowd wants to see anger and thirst for revenge, not acceptance and reconciliation!" the MC complained as the crowd started booing again, much to Leo and AJ's annoyance.

"Jeez, what's with these people?!" Ash asked angrily.

"Didn't you say spectator sports riled up everyone who was into them?" Sasha asked.

Pikachu sighed. "Some people are never satisfied…"

…

The match with AJ had been only the first Team Aurabolt would have to fight through that day. There was a second match that afternoon against a group called Hocus Pocus, comprised of an Abra, Kadabra, and Alakazam. The team had plenty of time to rest and prepare for that match, however—not that they really needed to do much, considering that they had a powerful Dark-type like Sasha on their side--so the first thing they decided to do after they collected Leo's winnings and left Mt. Battle was to get a bite to eat. "I'm starving, yo!" Leo said as they traversed the suspended walkways of Battlus in the general direction of their hotel. "All that fighting really worked up my appetite!"

"Don't you mean all that running?" Pikachu joked.

"Hey, that running helped me win the match, didn't it?" Leo said with a smirk. "And I beat a veteran fighter, too! Man…that was awesome!" His shoulders sagged. "Now if only I had remembered to get his autograph before we parted ways…I can't believe I let that opportunity slip by me! Fo'shizzle!"

"I'm sure you'll get other autographs from other people," Ash said.

"Yeah, I suppose so," said Leo. He perked up. "Hey, do you think my folks were watching? I emailed them this morning to tell them to tune in for my match!"

"We did the same for our family back in Pokemon Square," said Pikachu. "They were pretty impressed by our fight against the Shroom Bros last night….although my dad thought they looked like pushovers."

"They _were_ pushovers," Sasha pointed out.

"I know, and he said we'll probably have to deal with much stronger opponents in the next few days," Pikachu said.

"I'm looking forward to it," Ash confessed. "Unlike AJ, I prefer winning only if it's against a really tough opponent. The Shroom Bros. had some fight, but I barely worked up a sweat beating them."

Pikachu rolled his eyes. "You're so hot-blooded…"

"Hey, we _need_ to beat tough opponents so we can become stronger too," Ash pointed out. "So that we can…uh, meet our ultimate goal of becoming the most powerful fighters around," he said, remembering they probably shouldn't talk about their quest in public.

"And right now, we also need to eat, because we can't defeat those tough opponents on an empty stomach, dawg!" Leo said sagely.

Sasha nodded. "I could use something to eat as well…which is odd, since we only had breakfast a short while ago, and I didn't even do anything during the match."

"Watching me do all the work must have made you hungry too, babe," Leo said. "I sometimes get tired when I watch other people doing exhausting work. Fo'real!"

"What was exhausting about your fight?" Pikachu asked.

"Hey, outrunning a giant Sandslash with crazy claws is no easy feat, you know, dawg!" Leo said defensively. "I haven't had to do that much running in a while. This body isn't made for that kind of thing! I probably burned off a lot of weight, though. What do you think? Do I look any thinner? Am I sexy smooth, yo?"

They looked at him. He looked exactly the same as he had before he had fought AJ. "No," Pikachu said.

Leo pouted. "Well, at least I've lost some of the weight I had before I started fighting with you guys, haven't I?"

Pikachu had to admit that was true. While Leo's shell hadn't shrunken any (as if it could) the Squirtle seemed to have lost some of the fat from his face and limbs and looked to actually be growing a little muscle. He still had a ways to go before being as strong as Ash or himself, but Leo had certainly become a tougher Pokemon than the fanboy and uber-geek who had chased them down outside of Turtle Town and begged them to let him on their Rescue Team.

Of course, he was _still_ a fanboy and an uber-geek…

"I think it's time we got you a TM or too, King K," Ash said. "You've gotten pretty good at the moves you already know, but there's no telling how long you'll take before you naturally learn a new one, so after we get a quick bite we'll go to the local Kecleon Bros. and see if we can't find a few new techniques to increase your repertoire."

"Cool!" said Leo. "It's about damn time I got some new kickass moves, yo! So I can kick more ass and take names! Yeah…"

"Repertoire? That's a big word. When did you learn it?" asked the impressed Sasha.

Ash's face turned red as Leo and Pikachu snickered at him. "Oh, shut up…"

Noticing a hot dog stand nearby, they decided to go and get a few buns to tide them over until lunch. They were surprised, however, to find that the customers directly ahead of them in line and taking up all the attention of the stand's owner, a rather anxious-looking Arcanine with a paper hat, were none other than their good 'friends' Sam and Max! "Hey, it's Sam and Max!" Leo said. "Uh, those guys we met briefly in a hotel and totally did not get an illegal ride here from…dawg."

Pikachu groaned. "Great, not them again…"

"They are the ones who drove the machine that brought…um, crashed into that building yesterday?" Sasha asked, remembering to stay in character.

Ash nodded. "Yeah. I wonder what they're doing here?"

"They mentioned—in the brief time we met them--that they came here to investigate a hot dog vendor that was selling radically bad food…maybe this is it, yo?" Leo guessed.

As they got closer to the stand, they were able to hear Sam grilling the uneasy Arcanine. "Where exactly did you get these buns? In what condition did you get them?" The not-Lucario asked the big fiery dog.

"Uh, I ordered them from the supplier, just like every other hot dog vendor in town," the Arcanine said.

"Is that so?" Sam asked suspiciously. "How were they delivered to you? In a box? Did they happen to be wrapped in plastic, or did they not bother with that? Was the plastic completely intact when you got it?"

"Y-yeah, it was," the Arcanine said.

Sam narrowed his eyes. "Really? Then I don't suppose you'd mind showing me the packaging so I could see for myself…and perhaps check a little thing called an _expiration date?_ Because I've eaten old bread before, and these things taste pretty stale to me!"

"I-I-I don't have it anymore! I th-threw it out after I opened it and t-took out the buns, honest!" the Arcanine stammered. "And they're not stale, I swear, I only got them a couple of days ago, they should still be pretty fresh!"

"Is that so? How _very_ convenient for you," Sam said, clearly not believing a word the hound was telling him.

"Hey guys, what're you doing?" Leo asked as they came over.

"Oh, hey guys who I'm not supposed to know personally and certainly didn't give a lift to in our car!" Max said, waving to the four. "We've been shaking down every hot dog vendor in town since we didn't drop you off yesterday and Sam and I think we've finally found the dirty dog who's been selling the dirty dogs!"

Sam ran his tongue up and down the length of a wiener the nervous Arcanine had handed him, much to the vendor's disgust. "There's something funny about this wiener…what kind of meat is it made from? Pig? Cow? Sheep? Horse? Cat? Dog? Rat? Pigeon? Chicken? Rabbit? Human? Tofu?"

"Uh, none of the above—I don't even know what half of those things are--it's made from synthetic meat, just like pretty much all the other meat we eat," said the puzzled Arcanine. "Since eating actual meat would involve butchering other Pokemon and consuming their flesh, which is utterly barbaric! Hence why only barbarians do it." (Sasha almost pointed out that she had eaten quite a few Pokemon as well out in the wild—a necessity, with her lifestyle—but kept it to herself, realizing it was probably not the sort of thing she should mention in civilized company. And it might estrange her from her friends, who had probably never eaten anything but synthetic meat in their lives. And fish. Actual fish, not to be confused with Water Pokemon that happened to be fish, although some people _did_ eat those. Those people usually either drowned or vanished into the belly of a Gyarados or other sea monster, never to be seen again.)

Sam and Max gasped in horror. "Fake meat?!" cried Sam.

"Sam, what is _wrong_ with this world?!" asked Max. "No guns, and no real meat?! How can these people live?!"

"I don't know, little buddy, I don't know…there are a lot of sad, sick universes out there, and we must have stumbled into one of them," Sam said solemnly. "I'll be happy to return to our violent, rat-infested world and leave this pitiful place to its inevitable demise…from boredom!"

"Yeah!" said Max. Team Aurabolt sweatdropped.

"So, who's the new girl?" Max asked as Sam went back to interrogating the Arcanine, too busy playing the bad cop to say hi to the four. "She's the same color as me! Rrrow, and pretty sexy, too!"

"Uh, thank you?" said a puzzled Sasha.

"Max, you're not supposed to be sexually attracted to anyone, remember?" Sam said.

Max blinked. "Huh? Oh yeah, that's right, I forget that sometimes. I retract my previous statement, you're about as attractive as Bosco. Who isn't attractive at all. Because he's an ugly balding gray man who sells overpriced merchandise and has way too many paranoias and conspiracy complexes to count!" Sasha stared at him in confusion.

"That's overdoing it a little," Sam commented. "Remember, the joke's not funny if you have to explain it, little buddy."

"Right, good point," said Max. "In that case, I'll just say you're all equally unattractive to me and leave it at that." The four sweatdropped again.

"Well, that's reassuring…I think," said Pikachu.

"So you guys think that this is the crooked hot dog vendor?" Ash asked the not-Buneary.

Max nodded. "Well, he'd better be, because we've interviewed every other stand in town, and while most of them were of equally bad quality, none of them were the malcontent we've been looking for! If this guy isn't the one, I'm gonna kill someone! Probably him, though quite possibly some random bystanders as well. I'm not picky." The four exchanged nervous looks and took a few steps away from the deranged lagomorph.

Sam was now testing the ketchup bottle, squirting it directly into his mouth rather than onto a wiener. "Hmm…" he said, smacking his lips. "Something about this ketchup seems off…" He checked the side to see if there was any nutrition information or expiration dates, but found none. He unscrewed the top and sniffed the contents. "Corn syrup, vinegar, salt, spice, garlic powder, some spice and herb extracts…wait a minute…there's no tomato in this! What kind of con job are you trying to pull?! Everyone knows you can't have ketchup without using tomato!"

"Actually, sir, there are some recipes for ketchup that don't use tomato concentrate," the Arcanine corrected Sam. "The supplier I got the ketchup from used one of those recipes."

"A likely story," Sam said doubtfully. "And I suppose the ketchup supplier is the same one who gave you those buns?"

"No, sir," the Arcanine said.

"Hrrm…using ketchup without tomato should be a criminal offense! But it's not, so I'm afraid I can't arrest you for that," Sam said disappointedly. "But I can if I find something else that doesn't belong…lemme try that mustard." He grabbed the yellow bottle and squirted it directly onto his tongue.

"That's…really gross," said a disgusted Pikachu.

"No, _this_ is gross!" Max corrected him, sticking an arm into one of his giant ears up to the _elbow_…and moments later his hand popped out of the other ear, clutching his brain.

Pikachu's jaw dropped as Ash and Sasha's faces turned pale. "How…how did you…"

"Dude, that's sick!" Leo said approvingly, laughing and clapping his hands.

"I…I do not understand…how is he…what…" Sasha stammered in disbelief.

Ash groaned and facepalmed. "I think we'll all be better off if we try not to think about it too much…"

Max nodded and threw his brain into his mouth, swallowing it whole as he pulled his arm back out of his ears. "Yeah, thinking too much makes my head hurt. It's way more fun to do random violent things without worrying about the consequences!"

"Hmm…this mustard tastes fishy. Is there fish in it?" Sam asked the vendor.

"Uh, I don't think so," said the Arcanine. Sam frowned and tried some more mustard.

"Hey, what's with that egg?" Ash asked the big fire hound, noticing a large gray egg that almost looked like a rock sitting on a shelf behind the vendor.

"Huh? Oh, that's an egg I managed to acquire through completely legal means. I'm going to use it as a prototype for a bold new project I have in mind: hot dog…with egg!" the Arcanine said. "It's gonna be awesome!"

Everyone gasped. "You're going to use Pokemon egg for a meal?!" Ash asked.

"And you said eating Pokemon _meat_ was barbaric?!" Pikachu exclaimed.

"Not even…er, some wild Pokemon I used to know ate eggs!" Sasha said.

"Dude, that's just sick, yo!" Leo agreed.

"I know!" Max said, an astonished look on his face. "Egg on hot dog?! That's blasphemy! Blasphemy I say! It's not a hot dog if there's egg on it, it's something else entirely! Something that's twisted and wrong, _twisted and wrong!_ It's…a wiener in a bun with egg on top! I've never heard of anything more terrible!" The others sweatdropped.

"What? It's just an egg!" the Arcanine protested. "I mean, it's not like its alive or anything like that!"

"How is it not alive?! It came from a living Pokemon and is going to hatch into a living Pokemon!" Pikachu pointed out.

"Actually, the jury is still out on whether a fetus counts as a living sentient creature," the Arcanine pointed out. "Therefore, there really isn't any reason I can't use the egg for food, since it's debatable whether it actually counts as a person or not. I mean, it doesn't think while it's still in the shell, does it? When it hatches, it'll be a Pokemon, but it's not one now, therefore there's no reason I can't use it for food, right?"

"That's where you're wrong," Sam said, throwing the mustard over his shoulder and drawing his gun. "Federal regulation 56789-34BJX-FV says it's illegal to use eggs on hot dogs, unless the dogs in question are cut up and served with eggs, which you are clearly not intending to do! You're under arrest for crimes against nature and food preparation!"

"…Of all the violations this guy's probably committing, _that's_ the one you're bringing him in on?!" Ash asked incredulously.

"Yes," said Sam. "I can stand a little stale buns, faux meat, tomatoless ketchup, and odd mustard…but using strange and unusual 'experimental' ingredients is crossing the line!"

"You have the right to remain silent! But we hope you don't use it, because then I won't be able to have fun listening to you scream as I break your fingers," Max said cheerfully.

The Arcanine's shoulders slumped. "Aw, dang, I always knew law enforcement would catch me sooner or later. All right, I'll-" Without warning, he grabbed the ketchup bottle and squirted it in Sam's eyes, causing him to drop his gun and scream in agony.

"Aaaahhh! The ketchup! It burns! It burnssssss!" he wailed, clawing at his eyes.

Max gasped. "Sam, no! Don't claw your eyes out, the blood and eye jelly will ruin the ketchup's flavor!"

"You'll never catch me alive, coppers!" the Arcanine shouted, grabbing the egg and running into a door behind him. A moment later, the roof split open and a rocket shaped like a hot dog rose from the building as sirens blared. The Arcanine's head was visible in a bubble window near the tip of the rocket. "I'll just open a new stand somewhere else and begin all over again! Hot dogs with eggs will become the new fast food sensation that will seize the globe and put those other restaurants like Burger Kingler and McMimeld's out of business! They will pay for spurning my genius!" The rocket rumbled, and the building collapsed as the giant hot dog slowly rose into the air, supported by a pillar of flame roaring out of the thrusters on its rear. "Soon, the world's fast food industry shall be mine! _Mine!_ Mwahahahahaha!"

"…You have _got_ to be kidding me," Ash said in disbelief.

Pikachu had put his face in his hands. "Somebody tell me when the universe starts making sense again…" he moaned.

Sasha blinked. "…Should that thing look like a giant phallus?"

"Oh no! He's getting away!" Leo cried.

"Not for long he's not!" Sam said as he got the ketchup out of his eyes and opened fire on the rocket. Max eagerly joined him. Unfortunately, their guns didn't do any visible damage to the ship. "Damn, our bullets have no effect!"

"Sam, what if we use that new weapon Bosco gave us?" Max suggested.

"If by 'gave,' you mean cheated us out of one hundred billion dollars for, then that's a great idea, little buddy!" Sam said, reaching into his coat and taking out a soda can and a bag of Pop Rocks. He shook the can and ripped the top off the bag with his teeth.

"Is now really the time for a snack?!" Pikachu asked incredulously.

"That's no snack, dawg!" Leo gasped, realizing what Sam was up to. "Dude, I didn't even know that sort of thing worked in real life!"

"What sort of thing?" asked Sasha.

"You'll see!" Leo said.

Sam broke open the top of the soda can and stuffed it into the mouth of the bag of Pop Rocks before too much fizz could escape. He then wound back his arm and hurled the can at the rocket as hard as he could. The can arced through the air and struck the giant hot dog just before it could fly out of range. Much to the surprise of everyone (except for Sam, Max, and Leo), the can _exploded_, destroying the rocket in a blinding conflagration of light and flame. The Arcanine, heavily burned but still alive—he was a Fire Pokemon, after all—was hurled screaming from the explosion. "Waaaahhh! Looks like I'm blasting off…and not the way I intended to!" he wailed as he was flung far away, vanishing into the distance with a twinkle and giving Ash a strange sense of déjà vu.

"What…how…how did that…the can…and…it went…huh?!" Pikachu asked, his brain close to breaking again.

Leo smirked. "Never underestimate the power of raw carbonation, dude!"

"If that machine looked like a phallus, did that count as a castration?" Sasha wondered.

"Well, looks like another job well done," Sam said, putting his hands on his hips.

"Mission complete!" Max agreed. "Can we go home now?"

"But wait, what about the egg?" Ash asked. He got his answer when the large gray object fell out of the air and smacked him in the head before bouncing off and landing in his paws. He stared at it for a moment. "Oh," he said. "There it is." He passed out.

"Gonzales!" Pikachu cried in alarm, running over to his brother's side.

"Uh-oh. Will he be all right?" asked the concerned Leo.

"Don't worry, he's taken heavier blows to the head and survived," Sasha assured him.

"I'm sure he'll be fine," Max said, not actually caring about Ash's health in the slightest. "And if he's not, can I have his stuff?"

Before anyone could reply, Leo's shell started rattling, causing his entire body to shake. "Huh?" He reached into his shell and took out his buzzing cell phone, which he had set to vibrate. "Hey, I don't remember turning this thing on…I can't get any reception down here…can I?" Surprised, and not recognizing the caller's number, he flipped open the phone and listened for a moment. "It's for you," he said, handing the device over to Sam.

"Hello?" Sam said as he held the phone to his ear. "Yes…yes…no…yes…no…no…yes...sweet unsaintly mother of Angelina Jolie dancing on the head of a pin with angels while Brad Pitt joins the Church of Scientology and Britney Spears is shaving her body again for no apparent reason! We're on our way!" He hung up the phone and handed it back to Leo. "That was the Commissioner, Max! He says that a fruity and possibly gay vampire is raising the dead in a ghost town to create an army of zombies to overrun the world!"

"What, _again?!_" asked an exasperated Max. "How many fruity and possibly gay vampires are there, anyway?!"

"Aren't they all that way?" Leo joked.

"Well, most of the ones we've run into are," said Sam. "Guess we can't go home yet, little buddy, there's work to be done!"

"And bad guys to shoot! Oh well, I'm sure the country can last a little longer without me, so long as my vice president doesn't do anything stupid," Max said.

"Isn't your vice president a potted plant?" Sam asked.

"What's your point?" asked Max.

"Does this mean you're leaving?" Leo asked, a disappointed look on his face.

"I guess so," said Sam.

"Don't worry, I'm sure we'll meet again someday!" Max said.

"Really?" Leo asked hopefully.

"No," said Max.

"We probably will anyway, though," said Sam. "You know how these things work." He frowned in thought. "Now…where did we park again?"

"Halfway up the side of a building?" Max recalled.

"Ah, yes, how could I have forgotten? Come on, Max, let's ditch this hellpit!" said Sam.

"Be seeing you!" Max said, waving to the four as he and Sam walked off.

"Bye!" Leo waved. "I'm gonna miss them, yo," he said sadly once they were out of sight.

"I won't," said Pikachu. "I hope we never see them again."

"You realize we're going to though, right?" Leo asked.

Pikachu sighed. "Yeah…I know…"

"How is Gonzales doing?" Sasha asked.

"He's okay," Pikachu said. "I already put some Potion on the bump that egg gave him. It hit him pretty hard…but like you said before, he's had worse. I don't think we need to take him to Nurse Joy."

"So, no brain damage or anything?" Leo asked.

Pikachu smirked. "Not likely. You have any idea how hard it is to pound anything through his skull? He should be back on his feet in no time…."

…

"_NO! Leave my child alone!" an immense female Tyranitar roared, struggling against the chains and ropes a veritable army of muscular Pokemon had thrown about her limbs and neck, said army needing to use all their strength to keep the giant Pokemon from breaking free. "You can take me, but leave him be!"_

"_Sorry, but my client requested an adult and an infant," a rather grotesque Drapion wearing a visor said, clutching Ash tightly in one of her claws so she could examine him properly. How strange…Drapion didn't usually look that big, neither did the rest of the world for that matter. And why did Ash feel so small and helpless, not like himself at all? "Hmm, looks like this thing's not ready to hatch yet…oh well, I'm sure my client won't mind holding onto it until it's ready. And then he'll have the perfect specimens…and I'll get paid, so everyone gets their happy ending. Well, except you and the kid, but that can't be helped." The Drapion turned and placed Ash on a small metal pad of some sort that a Salamence brought over and bent down to touch the controls on a small panel on the side of the pad, causing glass to rise up and form a dome over Ash's head, sealing him in. He tried to smash the glass, but found himself still strangely immobilized. Did he even have limbs in this dream? It didn't feel like it._

_Seeing this, the Tyranitar, with a scream of fury, managed to break free from her bonds, sending the henchmon that had been restraining her flying as she charged at the Drapion, shouting "DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH MY BABY!"_

_Startled, the Drapion whirled around just in time to get tackled by the enraged Tyranitar. They fell to the ground, the impact knocking the jar Ash was in over and causing it to roll down a nearby slope, his vision spinning to take in the ground and the sky and back again as he slid away, the Tyranitar too filled with bloodlust to know her baby (was Ash her baby?) was getting away. A few of the Drapion's henchmon, those who weren't trying to help their boss get out from under the crazed Armor Pokemon, noticed what was happening and shouted as they ran after Ash, but they were too late. He rolled over several bumpy rocks, was bounced into the air, and reached the bottom of the slope…_

_Which just happened to be a river that swept him away before the henchmon could catch him. A few jumped into the water and tried to swim after him, but the current had already taken him too far downstream, and he could do nothing but watch as the furious waves slammed over him and pushed him beneath the surface, down into darkness…_

And then he woke up to find his friends standing over him. "Oh good, he's awake," said the relieved Pikachu. "See? I told you he'd be up soon."

"And you didn't even have to shock him that time, either!" said the impressed Leo.

Ash grunted and sat up, rubbing his head, which was throbbing rather painfully. "Uh…what happened?"

"When Sam and Max destroyed that flying machine, the egg flew out and hit you in the head, knocking you out," Sasha said.

Ash gasped, snapping fully into wakefulness. "That's right! The egg, where is it?!"

"You're holding it," Pikachu said.

Ash glanced at his paws and saw that he was holding the egg. "Oh. Right." He frowned and glanced around, noticing they were back in their hotel room. "How did we get here?"

"After you passed out and Sam and Max left for their next mission, we dragged you here to get you out of the way and so we could talk in private," Pikachu explained.

"It wasn't easy, but Sasha made it doable," said Leo. "So, have any weird visions or flashbacks while you were knocked out?"

Ash gave him a surprised look. "How did you know I saw something?!"

"You always do when you fall unconscious," Leo pointed out. "Duh."

"You saw something, Ash?" Pikachu asked. "What was it, another piece of your past?"

Ash frowned. "It was a memory, but…I don't think it was one of mine. I think…" He paused, staring at the egg in his paws. Was it just him, or did it feel warm to the touch? And why did he sense this strange…affinity to it, the same odd sensation he had felt many times in the past whenever he saw certain Pokemon that he was pretty sure he had never seen before yet were oddly familiar, or when he had held Junior's egg for the first time? "I think it was a memory of the _egg,_ from before it came here."

The other three exchanged puzzled looks and stared at Ash in confusion. "A memory from…the _egg?!_ But…that doesn't make any sense!" protested Pikachu.

"While I believe that Pokemon are still alive and conscious while they are in the egg, unlike that awful vendor, what memories could they possibly have? It's not as if they can see anything outside, trapped as they are inside their shells!" Sasha pointed out.

"And how could you have seen the memory, anyway? You're not Psychic…but maybe the baby is?" Leo considered. "And projected it to you somehow?"

Ash shook his head. "I don't think so…if anything, it's probably a Larvitar."

"Why do you say that?" Pikachu asked.

Ash described what he had seen to his friends. "Since the Tyranitar called me—or whoever's memory I was seeing—her 'baby', that implies she's the mother, so the egg will probably hatch into a Larvitar," the Lucario finished.

"That does make sense," Pikachu admitted. "And from what you told us, it _does_ sound like it was viewed from the perspective of an egg, or at the very least an infant…and while it's not an absolute given that the child is a Larvitar just because the mother is a Tyranitar, there's a high probability that it's of the same species as its parent."

"But then how could it have communicated this memory to Ash? Especially if it is to become a Dark-type in the future?" Sasha asked. "Unlike Psychic Pokemon, we have no way of sharing thoughts with each other." This was not entirely true, as her master was able to speak to her quite well whenever he desired, but that was not a secret she was yet ready to share with her friends. In any event, the method her master used only worked on Dark-types like herself, so there was no way a Larvitar could have used that method to speak to Ash, especially since Ash was a Fighting/Steel-type.

"Maybe when it hit Ash on the noggin, it…I dunno…transferred part of its memory to him by accident or something?" Leo suggested.

"I'm not sure something like that is possible," Pikachu said doubtfully.

"It makes about as much sense as anything else," Leo pointed out.

"I think Leo might be right," Ash said, staring at the egg in his paws. "I feel…connected to this thing somehow. I'm not sure how to describe it. I feel like I know whoever's inside this egg, even though we've never met before."

"You mean like the way you felt connected to me and some of our other friends the first time you met us?" Pikachu asked. "Because something about us reminded you of friends you had in your own world, even if you still can't remember them completely?"

Ash nodded. "Yeah, that's it exactly. I think I hatched an egg just like this one in my world, and raised whatever came out of it, at least for a little while."

Pikachu sighed in resignation, already guessing what was coming. "Don't tell me: you feel like you need to do the same thing with this egg, right? Hatch it and raise it, I mean, instead of doing the sensible thing and handing it over to Nurse Joy so it can be adopted by someone with fewer responsibilities and enemies and demands on their time than us?"

"Pretty much, yeah," Ash said sheepishly.

"Dude, don't you already have, like, three kids or something?" Leo asked.

"Well, there's no reason I can't have a fourth," Ash said defensively.

"You are aware that a tournament being held in a volcano is not exactly the best place for a child to be born," Sasha pointed out. "And that it won't exactly be easy to begin raising it when we're going to be spending the next week or so in almost nonstop battles?"

Ash shrugged. "That wasn't a problem when I hatched Junior. Baby Pokemon can fight almost the minute they're out of their eggs, and we put him on our Rescue Team almost as soon as we were sure he could handle it. Larvitar are even tougher than Phanpies and have much greater potential for power, so that shouldn't be a problem, right?"

"Yes, but Ash, we took Junior on easy missions at first," Pikachu pointed out. "And we don't know how long it'll take for this egg to hatch, and by that point we'll probably be facing much stronger opponents than a baby Pokemon should ever have to face, even one as tough as a Larvitar. I'm not sure this is a good idea."

"And Larvitar are also weaker to a lot more things than Phanpy are, what with being Rock/Ground types," Leo added. "So it might not be as useful against the varied kinds of Pokemon we're going to be up against than someone with a more balanced type."

"Then what do you suggest we do?" Ash asked. "I can't give it up. Like I told you, it feels like it belongs with me. We have some kind of connection, I can sense it. And we can't go to the Pokemon Center and have the Joys teleport it to Pokemon Square for Mom and Dad and Team GX to care for, that might blow our cover! We're supposed to have come from somewhere else entirely, so why would we be sending an egg to some apparent strangers in a town on another continent who just happen to be connected to a Rescue Team that's meddling in the business of the Nihilators?"

"Ash, Pokemon Centers are run by Nurse Joys. Do you honestly think that they would betray us to the Nihilators?!" Pikachu asked incredulously.

"We've always thought the Joys were beyond reproach, but the one in Treasure Town is proof that not even they are incorruptible," Ash retorted. "Even if they aren't Nihilators, Ford's probably the one funding the ones here and giving them the supplies they need. They might report our behavior to him, and while he's said he'd be happy to let us stay in the tournament even if our IDs turned out to be fake…if he actually discovered they _were_ fake, and found out who we really are, how long do you think that'll last? If he doesn't kick us out, he might only agree to let us stay in exchange for…something unpleasant. I don't know if it's those rumors Andy told us yesterday, or that weird note we got, but I don't think we can trust him completely."

"He's got a point," Leo said. "Like I said back then, corruption in spectator sports is more an absolute given than an unpleasant possibility. While I personally think Ash might be a little paranoid here—yes, you heard me correctly—he raises some good points. It might be too big a risk to send the egg somewhere else, and if Ash is really sure he needs to hold onto it…uh, you are sure, right Ash?"

Ash nodded. "According to my book, nothing happens by coincidence. The fact that I got hit by an egg similar to one I may have had in my own world, that somehow showed me a vision of its past, can't be just luck. I don't mean to sound all hokey and mystical, but it came to me for a reason. Pikachu, you believe in destiny too…and I don't know how, maybe because of the Aura within me, but I know that, by whatever road this egg took to get to this volcano, its destiny is to be with me. I'm keeping it, no matter what you say."

"…" Pikachu sighed, and rubbed his temples. "Look, I'm not trying to be the bad guy here. Personally, I have no problem with having another nephew running around the house, honest, I'm just not sure that the logistics of hatching a baby Pokemon and raising it while we're on an extremely dangerous quest to save the world is a good idea. Yes, I know we did it with Junior, but the missions we took him on were nowhere near as dangerous as this. If it's this egg's destiny to be with you, are you really sure you want to risk its safety by keeping it around right now, considering the place we're in?"

Ash paused and frowned, furrowing his brow as he put aside his gut feeling for a moment and honestly tried to think about the consequences of what he intended. Could he actually pull this off? He was broken out of his reverie when Sasha spoke up. "You are forgetting two things," she said. "One is that Ford might not allow us to add a fifth member to our team after we have already enrolled in the tournament. Therefore, if and when the egg hatches, whatever comes out may not be allowed to fight with us. As such, we could leave it in the relative safety of our hotel room while we have our matches and care for it in the time in between."

"Leave the kid all by itself? No sitter or anything?" asked an alarmed Leo. "Is that safe?"

Pikachu nodded in agreement. "I'm not sure it's good for a child's development if it's left alone for long periods of time. Plus, couldn't it hurt itself if we left it in the room? There are a lot of sharp and potentially dangerous objects there…and if it gets out onto the balcony, it could fall off! And there's a chance it would hit the pavement rather than the force field over the lava, too…"

"The room can be childproofed," Sasha said. "And in any event, it's not always a bad thing for a child to be left alone. Sometimes, they need to learn how to fend for themselves. There were many times when my children were but pups that I had to leave them alone for days at a time while I went to forage for food, and they were fine when I got back. They learned how to be independent from those absences, and were better able to survive when they finally had to leave and make their own homes out in the wild."

"I didn't know you had kids," said the surprised Pikachu.

"Yeah, you never mentioned that," said the equally surprised Ash.

Sasha shrugged. "I never really felt the need to talk about them. There are many things you don't know about me."

"What's that second thing you mentioned?" Leo asked.

"If it were Ash alone that was trying to raise the child, then we might have trouble," Sasha said. "Because of the difficulty of our mission and the demand other matters will have on his time. However, he will not be taking care of the newborn alone. He will have us to help him. We are a team, which is not so different from a family. All of us will assist in bearing the burden that is caring for and raising a baby Pokemon. By spreading the responsibility among us four, we will be able to concentrate more of our efforts on succeeding in our task and worry less about what will happen to the child, since each of us knows that we can rely on the others to take up the role of protector for the infant should one of us be unable to continue that duty. We will take care of the egg together."

Ash and Pikachu nodded, liking the idea. "That sounds reasonable," said Pikachu.

"I think it could work if we did that," Ash agreed. "I mean, I feel like the egg's supposed to be mine somehow, but that doesn't mean I won't accept you guys' help if it's offered."

"Cool! Does that mean I get to be an uncle?" Leo asked eagerly.

"No, I'm the uncle. You can be a godfather, though," Pikachu joked.

"Awesome! And I'll train him to be the best Mafioso a father could want…" Leo said, rubbing his hands together and chuckling evilly. The others stared at him. He paused. "Oh, wait, wrong godfather…"

"It never occurred to me to ask for help…I should have known I could count on you guys," Ash apologized. "Thanks."

"You can always count on us," said Pikachu. "That's what friends and teammates are for, after all."

"Yeah! Uh, just one thing…if the baby's going to think Ash is its daddy, will it assume Sasha is its mother? If so, how're you going to explain that you sort of have three other kids with Misty? And are you going to have to explain to them that you cheated on their mom? That's not gonna be pretty…" Leo said.

Ash sweatdropped. "I'm not in a relationship with Misty!"

"No, but Team GX thinks that you're their parents…and she's not here right now, so the Larvitar could think Sasha's its mother…hmm…that _could_ get messy," Pikachu said.

Ash frowned and shook his head. "I think this baby already knows it has a mother…" he said, thinking of the Tyranitar he had seen in his vision. "That shouldn't be a problem."

Now that the issue of what to do with the egg was settled, Team Aurabolt relaxed and decided to spend the next few hours chilling and preparing for their next match. After wrapping the egg up in Leo's electric blanket to keep it warm (Yes, he had an electric blanket. For just such an occasion!), Ash and Pikachu started making lunch while Sasha channel-surfed and Leo looked up baby names on the Internet. "Hey, after lunch, you think we could go to the store like we originally planned?" the Squirtle asked as he stared at his computer screen, wondering if 'Hoolio' or 'Juan Antonio' were orioer names for a Larvitar. "You know, to get me some sweet new moves and stuff?"

"I think we could do that," Ash said as he spread some vegetables from their knapsacks and from the fridge onto bread with cheese to make a sandwich. "We should have plenty of time, right?"

Pikachu nodded as he mashed berries to make a jam-like substance to spread on his own sandwich. "Yeah, our match won't be for a while yet. That shouldn't be a problem."

Unfortunately, their plans were fated to be derailed yet again, as there was a sudden knock on the door, causing everyone to freeze. Ash quickly put back on his glasses and mustache and cautiously glanced through the peephole. There was nobody there. He opened the door, but saw nobody in the hallway…but there was a letter sitting on the floor. He grabbed it and retreated back into the room. "I think we have another message from our mystery contact," Ash said as he brought the envelope back to the others.

"Already? Wow, I didn't think we'd get something this soon," said the surprised Leo.

Sasha glanced away from the utterly pointless commercial for rock wax she had been watching. "What does it say?"

"Let's see." Ash tore it open. "'Go to locker room B for arena 3 in Mt. Battle and check the wall with a poster of a dangling Glameow on it. It will be unlocked, unguarded, and empty for the next two hours, after which it will be full of fighters preparing for their afternoon matches. Come at once, because it is unlikely you will get another chance to investigate. Destroy this letter once you have finished reading it. Signed, a friend.'"

"A locker room wall?" Leo gasped. "It must be the Sealed Wall! Is whoever sent us to this helping us solve one of the Seven Wonders of Mt. Battle?"

Pikachu frowned. "Hmm…that's kind of suspicious. Do you think it could be a trap? Or maybe Andy sent us this letter to trick us into checking out the Wonders for him so he won't have to do any of the work?"

"That's possible, but it might also be a lead to whatever 'dark secret' Mt. Battle supposedly possesses," Sasha pointed out.

"And maybe the Star Badge," Ash agreed. "Since we still have no guarantee that the Star on Wes's belt is the real deal. I think we should check this out."

"Totally!" said Leo. "But wait, what about my moves?"

"We'll still have time to get those before our match starts," said Pikachu. He glanced at a clock on the wall. "But if we're going to do this, we'd better do it now. We don't have much time, if what that note says is true."

Ash clenched his fist and ignited the letter in a flash of Aura. "Right. Let's get going."

…

A little later…

It had been easy to get into Mt. Battle (After all, they _were_ in the tournament. No one thought it odd that they'd be sneaking around the arena.), and, after getting lost a few times, they checked a map and found their way to the locker room in question, which was unlocked, unguarded, and empty, as their mysterious informant had promised. It was like every other locker room in the building, with lockers for personal items, benches, tile floors, cots for resting, and showers designed for almost any type of Pokemon that might be using the facilities. There were several motivational posters hanging from the walls, but only one wall had a poster displaying a terrified Glameow dangling from a tree branch with the words, "Hang in there, champ!" written over its head.

"You know, that would be a lot more inspiring if the Glameow in the poster hadn't either died or evolved into a gruesome Purugly ages ago," Leo said as he looked at the poster.

"Shouldn't something like that be in an office building rather than a locker room?" Pikachu asked. "Not that most office workers are especially motivated by this kind of thing either, I wager…"

Sasha nodded in agreement. "I do not see how an image of a Pokemon who is only moments away from falling to her death is supposed to inspire anyone to work harder."

"Maybe that's why it's here then," Ash reasoned. "To remind someone that the wall here is more than it seems."

"Speaking of which, what exactly are we supposed to be looking for?" Pikachu said. "This wall looks like every other one in the room."

"Maybe there's a secret passageway?" Leo suggested, knocking on the wall to see if it sounded hollow. "Otherwise, how would you get through it to whatever's on the other side? Hmm, too bad my Pokedex function doesn't work in here, or I'd be able to spot the hidden door in a cinch."

"Same here," Ash agreed. "Wait…I wonder…" He started rooting through his knapsack.

"If you're thinking of using any of your Orbs to find a secret switch, it won't work," Leo said. "The dampening field will scramble its sensors just as well as it does ours."

"How does it do that?" asked a perplexed Pikachu. "The senses that varying species of Pokemon as well as machinery use to detect secrets all work in different ways. How can one device possibly neutralize all of them with a single energy field?"

Leo shrugged. "I think that all those different senses use some similar base EM wavelength that the field can be tuned to so it negates them all at once. Or maybe it's magic, I don't really know how it works."

Pikachu frowned in thought. "Wait, if it blocks sensors, then how did that thing you built yesterday to check our room work? Or the television or Internet, for that matter?"

Leo shrugged. "Maybe they all work on a different frequency? Doubt I could reconfigure that bug-scanner it to detect switches, though…bugs give off a particular signal, whereas switches are almost purely mechanical, so don't."

"There's also the possibility that Leo's machine never worked at all, and we might have been watched and listened to the whole time without knowing it," Sasha pointed out, which was a rather uncomfortable possibility that none of them really wanted to think about, since it would mean that they had already blown their cover several times over.

"I wasn't thinking of using a sensing Orb," Ash said, pulling out a One-Room Orb. "I was thinking of smashing the wall down!"

"Uh, Ash, that thing destroys ALL walls," an alarmed Pikachu pointed out. "Not just the sealed one in front of us."

"I know," Ash said. "But Leo's good with machines. He was able to build that thing which shut down the control chips in the Caretaker's heads, right? I figured he could rewire this to just take down one wall instead of every one on the floor."

"Hmm…yeah, I think I could do that," Leo said, taking the Orb from Ash and looking it over. "Of course, there's a chance that I might accidentally amplify its power and destroy every wall in the BUILDING, which would probably cause the whole thing to collapse, but there's only a 35 percent chance of that happening."

"Sounds good to me!" Ash said.

"Let's not be too hasty," a terrified Pikachu said quickly. "If we do something like that, we'll be caught and probably thrown out of the tournament for sure. We're trying to be inconspicuous, remember? Let's put that thing away like sensible Pokemon and look around for a switch or something, if there really is a secret passage, there must be a way to open it around here somewhere."

Looking a little too disappointed at not getting the chance to blow things up than Pikachu would have liked, Ash and Leo reluctantly put the Orb away and started searching the wall for any sign of a secret switch. Ash pushed on wall tiles. Pikachu tapped parts of the wall with his sword to see if it made any sounds that indicated it might be hollow. Leo stomped on the floor to see if any of the tiles were concealed switches. Sasha just sat there, silently staring at the poster with a faint frown on her face. She glanced to either side of her, noticing that there were no other posters on this wall. Why was that? "I wonder…" she murmured to herself, getting an idea.

She trotted past Leo, who was doing a veritable tap dance on the floor, reared up on her hind legs while pressed her forelegs against the wall for balance, dug her teeth into a corner of the poster, and tore it apart with a jerk of her head. Ash, Pikachu, and Leo's heads turned at the ripping noise…and gasped when they saw what lay beneath the poster, revealed thanks to Sasha's destructive efforts: a small red button set flush into the wall! "There it is!" Ash cried.

"Good work, Sasha!" Pikachu said.

Leo smacked his forehead. "D'oh! I can't believe I didn't see that! It's so obvious in retrospect! Where else would it have been?"

"That's pretty much the same conclusion I came to," Sasha said, dropping the piece of torn poster from her mouth. "Do you suppose this is what we're looking for?"

"Only one way to find out," Ash said, pushing the button.

There was a rumbling noise, and suddenly a section of the wall receded backwards and slid to the side, leaving an opening behind. There was a gust of wind as air flowed into the doorway, indicating that it had been sealed shut for quite some time if it required that much to equalize the air pressure in the two rooms. "Yatta! We did it!" Leo cried. "We've discovered the secret of the Sealed Wall! We'll go down in history for solving the riddle of one of the Seven Wonders of Mt. Battle!"

Ash sniffed the air. "It doesn't smell like there are dead bodies in there, though."

Sasha nodded in agreement. "All I can smell is dust and metal. I do not think anyone has opened this door in a very long time."

"That means we must've beaten Andy here! Heh, next time we see him, I'm gonna shove this in his face! Gloating is fun!" Leo said with a grin.

"I wouldn't recommend that. If you told him we discovered one of the wonders, the information will probably spread, and before you know it we'll have Ford wondering why exactly we were going around poking about his arena," Pikachu warned him.

Leo's face fell. "Oh…good point."

"Let's see what secret awaits," Ash said, entering the door. The others followed him.

The hidden chamber was disappointingly plain. It looked to be a small abandoned office covered in dust, with a battered desk topped by a broken computer, a dead lightbulb dangling from the ceiling, and rusted file cabinets and empty shelves leaning against the wall. "This is it? Lame!" Leo complained. "I was expecting something cooler!"

"This place must have once been important for it to have been concealed so well…but it doesn't look as if anyone's been in here in years," said Pikachu. "Whatever purpose it was made for, it looks like it eventually was no longer needed."

"Then why didn't they seal the place up completely? Cement the door in place and disable the button?" Ash questioned.

"Maybe they never got around to it?" Sasha suggested.

"And it's not like something like that would be high priority if there were really anything worth finding in here…it looks like the place has been completely cleaned out!" Leo said, pulling open a drawer on one of the cabinets and getting nothing but a cloud of dust in the face. He hacked and coughed and quickly got out his inhaler.

"There must be _something_ still here, though," Ash pointed out. "Otherwise, why else would our informant have told us to come here?"

Pikachu nodded in agreement. "Whoever used this place might have left something behind when they abandoned it. Let's search the room from top to bottom, there's a possibility we'll find more than we bargained for."

They began to search every inch of the hidden chamber. Since none of their Orbs or other sensory equipment or, well, senses would work; they had no choice but to go over everything manually. As the tallest, Ash was able to open drawers that were out of reach. Pikachu clambered up onto the shelves to see if there was anything left on them. Leo tried to get the computer working to see if there might be any useful information on the hard drive. Sasha, uncomfortable with the extremely close quarters, stood guard outside. They spent several minutes looking, but were unable to find anything.

"Every cabinet is empty," said a frustrated Ash, slamming the last drawer closed and throwing up a puff of dust.

"There's nothing on any of these shelves, or even on top of the cabinets," Pikachu reported from his high ground. "There's a lot of dust and dead bugs, though."

"And this computer's completely fried. I don't think I can get anything out of it," Leo said forlornly as he examined the fused and broken insides of the old computer. "Well, this is disappointing…"

"Dammit! Was this whole thing just a waste of time?!" the frustrated Ash shouted, punching one of the cabinets.

Unfortunately, he forgot to take his Aura-powered strength and the cabinet's weakened metal frame into account, and with a loud groan the cabinet started to tip forward. Ash yelped in alarm and quickly jumped out of the way as the cabinet crashed to the floor, creating quite a clamor and also filling the room with dust. Ash and Pikachu coughed and Leo desperately sucked on his inhaler as an alarmed Sasha glanced into the room. "Is everything all right?" She coughed as some of the dust got into her mouth.

"Yeah," Pikachu gasped as the dust settled. "We're fine!"

"I think we're going to need showers, though," Ash said distastefully, looking at his fur, which had become so covered in dust it had turned gray. "Wonderful…" He sneezed.

Leo gasped, choked as he breathed in some more dust, and quickly sucked on his inhaler to clear his lungs. "Look!" he wheezed when he could breathe normally again. "Over there! Where the cabinet was standing!"

"Hey, yeah! There's something there!" Pikachu said, hopping down from his perch on one of the shelves.

Ash bent down and picked up a very worn and dust piece of paper that had been pressed against the wall the cabinet had been leaning against. "This must have slipped behind the cabinet when this place was being cleared of everything, and nobody noticed," Ash said, dusting off the document.

"What is it?" Sasha asked from the doorway.

Ash frowned as he squinted at it. "I dunno. It looks like some kind of…diagram or something. Leo, you understand this sort of thing better than I do, what is it?"

Leo frowned and took the paper from Ash. "Huh…wow. This looks really complicated."

"What is it?" Pikachu asked.

"Well, I've only looked at it for a second, but…I think it's the schematics for some kind of machine," Leo said as he examined the paper. "One that drains energy from…something. The print's pretty faded…"

"What do you think you are doing?!" a familiar voice shouted.

The team jumped in alarm and whirled around to see none other than May Maple rapidly approaching them, her foot talons clacking against the floor tiles of the locker room as she angrily stalked towards the secret door. "Yikes! What's she doing here?!" cried Leo.

"How did you not notice her coming in?!" Pikachu asked Sasha.

"The noise from the crash must have covered her entrance, and all that dust clogged up my nose. Sorry," Sasha whispered apologetically.

"Um, this isn't what it looks like," Ash said quickly as May stopped a few feet away from the door to the secret room, claws on her hips.

"Is that so?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "Because it looks to me like you're trespassing and causing grievous property damage in a private area. How did you find out about this place? What are you doing here?"

"A better question is, what are _you_ doing here?" Ash asked, trying to redirect her.

"I work here," May said flatly.

"Not that, I mean why were you coming into an empty locker room that just happened to house a secret…something or other in it?" Ash asked.

"Yeah, unless you wanted it for yourself, ho!" Leo accused.

"I'm here because _you're _here! When you opened the hidden door, it tripped a silent alarm. Ford sent me down to investigate…along with a rather large security contingent who happen to be waiting just outside," May said icily.

"Oh," said Leo. "Uh…sorry about the ho thing…"

"Now. I will ask you again, and if you do not give me a sufficient answer, I will have you beaten, removed from the building and expelled from the tournament. What are you doing here, and how did you find out about this place?" May asked menacingly.

"It was an accident," Pikachu said. "We swear!"

"Yeah, we came here because we thought this was where we were supposed to get ready for our next match!" Ash said.

May raised an eyebrow skeptically. "…Your next match isn't for three hours. In a different arena. On the other side of the building."

"That's what _I_ said," Pikachu said, rolling his eyes. "But this idiot must have gotten the details wrong, as usual!"

Ash nodded. "Yeah…wait, what?!"

"Hey, don't sweat it man, you can't help being a little…slower than the rest of us, brah," Leo said with a wicked grin. "It just means you're _special_, in your own way!" Ash gave him a death glare. It wasn't as scary as Pikachu's death glare, though, so Leo wasn't cowed into hiding in his shell.

"So you found your way to this locker room through sheer incompetence? Well, I can buy that," May said dryly. "But that still doesn't explain how you found this room. And I doubt _that_ was an accident too, since I can see from here that you deliberately destroyed the poster concealing the door switch."

Ash, Pikachu, and Leo hesitated. "Uh…"

"It was my fault," Sasha said abruptly. "The poster offended me, so I tore it down."

"…The poster offended you?" May asked doubtfully. "In what way?"

"I didn't like the way it was looking at me," Sasha said plainly. Everyone stared at her.

"…All right," May said slowly, giving the Absol a disturbed look. "And once you saw there was a button, why did you press it? It was obviously hidden for a reason."

"That's exactly _why_ we pressed it, yo! Because it was a secret! We were _compelled_ to push it! That sort of thing had the smell of a mystery too mysterious for us to pass up! And how could we possibly resist? It was such a shiny red button…" Leo said.

"And once we saw it opened a secret room, we naturally thought we should see what was inside, and accidentally knocked some stuff over," Ash said apologetically. "Hence why we're all covered in dust."

"…Hmm," May said, giving them all a hard look. "I suppose that's…plausible. You honestly found this room by mistake? Nobody put you up to it?"

"No, ma'am," they lied dutifully.

"What is it, anyway, yo?" Leo asked.

"Yeah, and why's it been closed off for so long?" asked Pikachu.

"And why is it in a locker room?" Sasha asked.

"I'm afraid that's classified information," May said, adjusting her glasses. "Now. If you really did open it by accident…and considering the level of intelligence you have displayed so far, I can believe that…then I suppose there is no reason to penalize you, so long as you keep this quiet. It wouldn't do for the fighters who use this locker room to know that they're sharing space with something like this. I just have one other question and then I can send you on your way."

"Cool," Leo said.

"What is it?" Ash asked.

She lowered her glasses down her beak and stared at them over the rims. "While you were in there, did you…find anything?"

Ash was about to say that they had not, when Leo suddenly spoke up and said, "Yeah, we found this thing." The rest of the team stared at him in horror as he handed the paper they had found to the Combusken. "It musta got left behind when this place was cleared out."

"I see," May said, glancing at the document. "Is this all that you found?"

"Yeah, there weren't nothing else in there!" Leo said.

"Then there _was_ something else?" May said.

"…Uh, no, I meant that was it, babe" Leo said, somewhat confused.

May frowned. "I see. Do you know what this is?"

"An old dusty piece of paper?" Ash asked.

"Something very important?" Pikachu asked, glaring at Leo.

"No. It's classified. Thank you for turning it over," May said, tucking the paper into her portfolio. She snapped her fingers, and black-suited goons filed into the room. "Security will escort you from the building now. You still have plenty of time until your match, so I had better not see you prowling around here anytime before that. In fact, I would appreciate it if you avoided coming in too early and searching around in places where you have no right to be in the future, it might give…certain Pokemon the wrong idea."

"What kind of wrong idea?" asked Sasha.

"That you may have ulterior motives for joining the tournament. You know, things like that. But I have nothing to worry about from you four on that front, do I?" she asked.

"No, ma'am," they said.

May smiled. At least, they thought it was a smile. "Very good. I wish you the best of luck in your match. Goodbye."

After they were safely out of the building, they laid into Leo. "What were you thinking?!" Pikachu demanded.

"We needed that thing! It was important!" Ash agreed.

"Why did you give that to her?!" Sasha asked angrily.

"Heheh, relax guys, I only gave that to her to earn her trust. You see, when nobody was looking…" He reached into his shell and pulled out his camera. "I snapped a few shots of that paper! We can upload them onto my computer later and examine them as high-res images, so maybe we can figure out what that diagram really meant!"

"Wow," said an impressed Pikachu. "Good thinking, Leo."

"Impressive forethought," Sasha agreed.

Leo chuckled. "Yeah, I know."

"You said before that you thought it was some sort of energy-draining machine," Ash said. "What kind of energy?"

Leo shrugged. "Dunno, just got a glimpse of it before that ice queen—seriously, she should have been born an Ice-type, not a fiery chick—showed up. We can take a closer look later. But my guess is that it's the machine that Ford is probably using to suck the energy out of the vanished fighters and keep himself healthy and fit!"

"We still don't know if all those things are actually connected," Pikachu said.

"Hey, we found out one Wonder is true, so why not the others?" Leo suggested.

"Technically, the Wonder was only half-true, it said that there were dead bodies behind that wall, not an empty office," Ash reminded him.

"Eh, close enough," Leo said. He clapped his hands together. "So! To reward me for being such a smart guy…howsabout we pay the Kecleon Bros. a visit? I think it's about time I got me those new moves you kept promising me, don't you?"

…

A few hours later…

"Ladies and gentlemon, welcome back to Mt. Baaaattllllleeeee!" the unseen MC cried as the audience filling the arena cheered. "We're well into round 2 of our tenth anniversary tournament, and next on the docket is a match-up I think we'll all find interesting, a good old-fashioned battle of brains and brawn! In one corner, we have the Merciless Executioners, the Quad of Terror, the Fantastically Fearsome Foursome known as the Fighting Four!" A spotlight focused on Ash, Pikachu, Leo, and Sasha, who waved to the raucous crowd. "And in the other corner we have the Masters of Magic, the Sorcerers Supreme, the Psychic Sensation known as Hocus Pocus!" A spotlight focused on an Abra, Kadabra, and Alakazam standing on the opposite side of the battle stage from the Fearsome Four. They, too, waved as the crowd cheered for them.

"He said brains against brawn…we're not _all _brawn," Pikachu complained.

"Yes, but you have much more brawn than brain! Compared to us, at least!" the Kadabra, Presto, boasted as he stroked his fine yellow mustache. "And we all know that brain always trumps brawn!"

"Not if we don't smash your brainy heads into the ground first, it won't!" Ash retorted.

"I don't need the power to see into the future or my IQ of 5000 to know we're going to wipe the floor with you!" the Alakazam, Houdini, taunted as he twirled his spoons.

"Yeah? Well, your IQ may be that high, but our combined strength is _way_ over five thousaaaaaaaand!" Leo cried.

They stared at him. "…What?" asked the confused Pikachu.

Leo sweatdropped and laughed nervously. "Uh, never mind…because we're gonna be crushing _their_ minds!...Yo."

Houdini snorted. "Please! Your pathetic internet memes and horrible puns have no chance of stopping us!"

"Are you sure? You're somewhat outnumbered," said Sasha.

"Three against four isn't that bad a match-up," said Presto.

Sasha blinked. "Three? But…one of you is asleep."

They turned to look at the third member of Hocus Pocus, an Abra named Uri. He was snoring loudly, and a snot bubble jiggled with every breath. Presto groaned and Houdini facepalmed. "Dammit! I told him not to stay up late the other night watching TV…he sleeps eighteen hours a day, so we scheduled everything so he'd be awake for this match!" the Alakazam complained. "But clearly he didn't _feel_ like adhering to plan…"

"He never does stick to our schedule…" Presto lamented. The heroes sweatdropped.

"Don't let his harmless demeanor fool you! He's incredibly powerful!" Houdini warned them. Uri tilted over and fell on his back. He continued snoring. They all sweatdropped.

"Can't Abras only use Teleport?" Pikachu asked.

"Yeah, that's why we used tons of TMs and stuff on him so we wouldn't have to wait until he evolves to be useful in a fight," said Presto. "So beware! For in facing us, you are contending with a trio of great Psychics!"

"You _do_ realize that almost none of your attacks will work on me, since I'm a Dark-type?" Sasha pointed out.

"That's why we made sure to learn some extra moves before we came here!" Houdini said. "You may be in for quite a surprise…heheheheh!"

Sasha narrowed her eyes. "We'll see about that…"

"It looks like the two teams are really hitting it off, folks! Now it's time for them to hit each other! BEGIN!" the MC shouted.

"Since we are so clearly superior to you intellectually, we will allow you a moment to concoct a strategy to use against us…" Houdini said magnanimously.

"Even though it'll still fail!" Presto added.

"Thanks! Jerks…" Pikachu grumbled.

The team huddled up. "Okay, Night Slash, take the Alakazam, since he's the biggest threat. Minus, you and I will handle the Kadabra. King K, you can fight the Abra."

"What?! Why do I have to fight the little guy?!" Leo complained.

"Somebody has to," said Sasha.

"And you're about his size," said Pikachu.

"We could let you fight the Kadabra, if you like," Ash said.

Leo turned pale. "Uh, on second thought, I'm fine with the Abra. Yeah." He grinned. "With my new moves, I'll totally demolish him! Yeah! Though…I'd feel better about it if I weren't basically beating up a guy while he's taking a nap…that's just wrong, yo!"

"We have the advantage of a Dark-type on our side, and they can't use their Psychic abilities to read our minds or predict our attacks thanks to the dampening field," Ash said. "So we have a pretty good chance at winning this."

"It also doesn't hurt that your Steel-type gives you some protection from their attacks, so it wouldn't hurt you as much as it would if you were a pure Fighter," Pikachu said.

Ash nodded. "Exactly. Let's do this!" They broke formation and charged for their respective opponents.

"You snooze, you lose! Take some of this new Water Pulse action, bitch!" Leo cried, cupping his hands together and concentrating his energy to form a glowing blue ball of water. Water Pulse had been one of the new moves Ash and Pikachu had bought him from the Kecleon Bros., and he thoroughly enjoyed using it for the first time. With a cry, he hurled the liquid sphere at the sleeping Uri…

And suddenly the Abra glowed and vanished. The Water Pulse crashed into the ground where he had been lying and burst apart, splashing water all over the place. Leo blinked. "Huh? Where'd he go?" He heard some snoring behind him and turned around to see Uri lying on the ground. "Ah, Teleport. Very clever. But can you Teleport fast enough to avoid…my brand-new ICE BEAM!" He opened his mouth, a ball of light blue energy forming in it and firing several crackling beams at the Abra. Uri glowed and vanished again at once, and the beams struck the ground where he had been lying, freezing it over and forming a large patch of ice. Leo sweatdropped as Uri reappeared behind him, still snoring. "Huh. I guess you can. This is gonna be tougher than I thought…"

"Whoaho, looks like King K might be in for a tough time here, folks! How can you beat an opponent you can't even hit?!" the MC asked.

Presto snorted in amusement as Ash and Pikachu rushed him. "A blind head-on assault? How typical of weaker-minded individuals such as yourselves." His eyes glowed red and he fired twin Psybeams comprised of multicolored circles at the duo.

Ash and Pikachu leaped into the air over the beams, causing them to strike the ground where they had been seconds ago and send chips of stone flying everywhere. Pikachu's cheeks crackled and he fired a Thunderbolt at the Kadabra while Ash charged up an Aura Sphere. Presto smirked as his eyes glowed again, using Confusion to gain control of Pikachu's lightning bolt and cause it to make a U-turn in the air, flying right towards Ash. The Thunderbolt blasted into the Lucario, who grunted and lost his hold on the Aura Sphere…throwing it right at Pikachu by accident!

However, the false Minun was more than ready for it, his minus-shaped tail glowing white as he flipped around in the air and deflected the Aura Sphere at Presto. He used Confusion to catch the ball and throw it right back at Pikachu, who used another Iron Tail to lob it back at Presto, who caught it again and threw it back with Confusion, and…

Did not see Ash's blazing fist coming towards him until it was too late, the Lucario's blue-burning paw smashing into his right cheek and knocking him off his feet with an Aura-charged Drain Punch (Hey, Leo hadn't been the only one to get a new move!), his whole head twisting to the side from the force of the blow. He bounced off the ground a few times and skidded to a halt on his backside, groaning and clutching his jaw in pain. Pikachu landed next to Ash and swiped his sword through the air, sending a Vacuum-Cut blade sailing towards the Kadabra. Presto used Confusion to redirect it back at Ash, who formed his Bone Rush club in his paws and broke the wave in two with a single swipe as he charged at the Kadabra, bone raised high over his head. He brought it down in a powerful chop, but Presto lifted his right hand at the last minute, using his spoon to block the blow. He fired a Psybeam at Ash to blast him away, and suddenly had to raise his spoon again to deflect a sword strike from Pikachu.

This turned out to be a poor decision, however, as Pikachu smirked and sent a powerful surge of electricity coursing through his blade, the spoon conducting the charge into Presto's body and causing him to cry out in agony. The Kadabra's mind roiled and lashed out in anger, blasting the faux Minun away with a wave of Psychic force. "Ugh…not bad…for a simpleton," he grunted, getting back to his feet.

"And you're not doing particularly well for a so-called genius," Ash said coyly. "Give up, and we won't hurt that precious melon of yours too badly."

Presto grinned evilly. "Give up? Why, my friends…" His body glowed yellow and he suddenly stood up straight, all the damage they had inflicted on him completely abolished thanks to Recover. "I've only just begun to fight!" He stretched out his right hand…

And suddenly, Pikachu found himself holding a spoon, while his sword was in the Kadabra's hands! "Wh-what?!" he cried in surprise, staring down at the piece of silverware in astonishment.

"He must've used Trick!" Ash realized.

"Correct," Presto said, swinging the sword around to test its weight. "And while I'm not especially familiar with swords…I think I can find a few uses for this one." He slashed through the air, generating a Psycho Cut energy blade which surged across the floor towards Ash and Pikachu, who quickly dodged out of the way of the rather wide attack. He grinned evilly. "Hmm, I think I could get used to this…"

"Uh-oh! Minus has become the victim of sword-theft! A swordsmon's second-worst nightmare, the first being that it breaks, naturally. Folks, to prevent something like this from happening to you, always tie your sword to your appendage of choice using a strong, stretchy, but hard-to-break cord, so that you won't find your own blade being run through your gut by the guy you were about to decapitate. I think we have some in our local stores and the Mt. Battle gift shop, for that matter! Be sure and pick one up after this match!" the MC said.

Pikachu sweatdropped as he backflipped and dodged and hopped about to avoid more Psycho Cuts from the Psychic psychopath. "They're using my misfortune as an opportunity to do some product placement?!"

"Look on the bright side," Ash said as he sidestepped another Psycho Cut. "At least he didn't take your regular sword."

"Gonzales, if he had my regular sword, he'd have lost by now," Pikachu pointed out.

"Oh, right," Ash said, remembering that Thunder Fang was constantly charged with high voltage and gave a nasty shock to anyone that wasn't of the Thunderblade bloodline that tried to hold it. "Well…darn, that's annoying."

"Very," Pikachu agreed.

"Taste my blade!" Presto cackled, throwing off Psycho Cut after Psycho Cut.

"It's mine, you thief!" Pikachu yelled as he and Ash danced about to dodge the blades.

"Not anymore!" Presto replied.

Meanwhile, Sasha and Houdini were facing off. Neither had a made a move yet; each waiting for the other to make the first attack. Sasha's hackles had risen and her muscles were tense as her teeth clenched in a snarl. Houdini just stood there, an oddly calm look on his face, not at all what you might expect from someone about to get his ass kicked by a dangerous Dark-type Disaster Pokemon.

Finally, the Alakazam smirked and made his move, his mouth opening and gathering a ball of golden power as he charged up a Hyper Beam. However, he didn't charge it up fast enough as Sasha used Me First to copy the attack and fire it off before he could, roaring as a beam of pure power shot from her jaws towards the psychic. Houdini Teleported out of the way, reappearing in the air above Sasha, where he used his vast mental powers to suspend himself through telekinesis. One of his fists glowed, and he struck down at her with a DynamicPunch. Sasha sidestepped the blow and lunged at him, jaws glowing with the Dark power of Bite. The Alakazam Teleported away from the attack, but Sasha swung her head about as she landed on the ground, the blade on the side of her head glowing and throwing Razor Wind in every direction, so that when Houdini reappeared he got hit by one of the wind blades flying randomly about. He grunted in surprise, and Sasha quickly dashed towards him before he could Teleport again. She lunged at him, claws glowing as she prepared to hit him with a Night Slash…

Only for her strike to be deflected when Houdini crossed his spoons in front of him and created a shimmering Protect barrier which knocked her back as she collided with it. As she reeled through the air, Houdini uncrossed his spoons and closed his eyes. A glowing eye symbol appeared on his forehead and blasted her with a rainbow-colored energy beam. Sasha cried out as the beam struck her…and was surprised when she felt no pain. What attack had she just been hit with? Shaking it off as she landed, she charged her foe again. Houdini snickered, his eyes glowing as he prepared an attack. Sasha smirked, confident that his powers would have no effect on her…

And so was understandably startled when a blue glow surrounded her and she was levitated into the air, her muscles locked in place and unable to move. "Wh-what?! Psychic?! But…but how?! I'm immune to your power!"

"Correction, you _were_ immune to my power," Houdini said with a sinister chuckle. "I take it you've never heard of Miracle Eye? It's a special attack that renders any Pokemon vulnerable to Psychic techniques…even an Absol as steeped in darkness as yourself." With a thought, he slammed Sasha into the ground repeatedly, cracking the stage with each successively stronger impact. Sasha howled in pain as her bones started to break against the pressure of her captor's telekinetic grip. "I will enjoy crushing you…"

"Looks like Night Slash has gotten herself into a serious jam, folks! I guess Dark-types aren't all that after all, are they?" the MC said. The Dark-types in the audience took offense to that.

Leo spat Bubbles at Uri. He Teleported away. He spat a Water Gun when the Abra reappeared. Uri Teleported away. He fired an Ice Beam. Uri Teleported away. He threw a Water Pulse. Uri Teleported away. "Arrrrgh!" Leo cried, throwing his hands up in exasperation. "This is ridiculous! You're not even fighting, you're just running away every time I attack! If you at least countered once in a while that would be okay, but you're not even doing anything! Do you have any idea how humiliating this is?!" Uri responded with a loud snore.

"He may not, but we do!" the MC announced. The audience laughed at Leo's expense. The fake Wartortle's face turned orange.

"Okay, that does it!" he snapped. "Let's see…come on, there's gotta be something I can do!" A sudden thought occurred to him. The Abra was capable of detecting impending danger and Teleporting to avoid it, which was why none of Leo's attacks had landed a hit so far. Uri couldn't use its extrasensory powers to do this, however, thanks to the dampening field, so he must be relying on reflexes and good hearing and the like. And maybe some self-hypnosis. Just how good was he at sensing danger? Would he know there was an attack coming if it came from a…unexpected angle?

Leo decided to find out by using the last of his new moves. Calling upon the power of Dig, he dove into the ground, his paws flying and churning up stone and dirt as he burrowed beneath the surface of the stage, leaving a tunnel in his wake as he angled up towards Uri, intending to attack from below. Reaching the surface, he burst out …

And hit nothing but air. "Huh? Where'd he go?!" Leo cried. He heard a loud snore and turned around to see Uri sitting behind him. Either he had badly misjudged where he needed to pop out, or the Abra had felt him moving through the ground beneath him and automatically Teleported away before he could attack. Either way, his Dig move was useless against this foe. "Oh, COME ON!"

"It looks like King K has his work cut out for him, folks!" the MC said. "This is his most deadly opponent yet…a sleeping child who he can't lay a finger on! How humiliating this must be for him!" Everyone laughed. Leo's eye twitched and he started growling.

"Hahaha! Take this! And this! And this and this and this!" Presto cried, sending Psycho Cut after Psycho Cut at Ash and Pikachu.

"No, _you_ take _this_!" Ash shouted, using Double Team to make it look like there was a dozen of him to evade getting hit by the Cuts and throwing an Aura Sphere at the Kadabra. The Psychic swung his stolen sword, deflecting the sphere and causing it to explode on the floor some distance away. Ash frowned as he saw this. "Hmm…"

Pikachu noticed the same thing Ash did. "Is it just me, or has he not been using any Psychic attacks other than that Psycho Cut since he took my sword?"

Ash nodded in agreement. "Yeah…hey, try zapping him. I have an idea."

"Okay." Pikachu fired a Thunderbolt at Presto.

He Teleported away. "You'll need to try harder than that to hit me!" he taunted, throwing another Psycho Cut at them.

The brothers dodged. "Did you see that? Instead of redirecting your attack back at us, he just moved out of the way. Why do you suppose that is?"

Pikachu narrowed his eyes in thought and glanced down at the spoon in his hand. "Maybe he _can't…_now that I think about it; didn't we hear somewhere that the psychic powers of Kadabra become limited without their spoon?"

They quickly jumped out of the way of another wave of Psycho Cuts. "If that's the case, then why did he willingly handicap himself? And for that matter, why did he put his source of strength into the hands of his enemy?" Ash asked.

"Well, my sword is a dangerous weapon—albeit not as powerful as my _real_ one—so maybe he figured taking it would make it harder for us to beat him," Pikachu suggested. "And as for why he allowed us to have his spoon…maybe he thought he would be too stupid to realize that he may have given us a huge advantage?"

Ash smirked. "Some supergenius. Why don't we show him the error of his ways, then?" Ash took the spoon from Pikachu. "Hey, Presto! I hear you guys have trouble focusing your minds without these things. What would happen if I, I don't know…_destroyed_ it?"

Presto gasped. "No! Don't!"

"Oh, I think I will!" Ash squeezed the spoon with all his might…and to his surprise, was only able to bend it. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't break it. "Huh?"

Presto laughed. "Foolish fighter, always thinking with your muscles and not your brains, as usual for your kind! Did you really think I would have put my source of power in your hands if I weren't confident that you couldn't destroy it? The psychic-charged metal in that spoon is far too strong for an imbecile like yourself to break!" He laughed again.

Ash snarled, so angry he fired a Dark Pulse at Presto, breaking his own self-made promise never to use it. It always made him feel very uncomfortable for some reason, and rather nauseous…regardless, it had no effect, since Presto just Teleported out of the way and slashed more Psycho Cuts towards them. "I'm really getting sick of this guy…"

"If _you're_ not strong enough to break that spoon," a frustrated Pikachu asked as he used his speed and small size to zigzag through the series of Cuts. "Then who _is?!_"

"Hmm…" Ash murmured, getting an idea.

"Gonzales and Minus look like they're in big trouble…so why does Gonzales have such a thoughtful look on his face, folks? Could he have a plan?" the MC asked rhetorically.

"How does it feel, Dark one? To be laid low by a Psychic, whom your kind has scorned for ages?" Houdini crooned as he continued pressed Sasha into the ground.

"I…never…scorned…Psychics," she gasped.

"I don't really care," he said. "But if you give in, I will knock you out swiftly."

"Nev…er," she grunted.

The Alakazam shrugged. "Oh well, I gave you a chance." He telekinetically lifted her into the air, and then threw her at himself. Before she could use this as an opportunity to attack, his forehead glowed blue and he lunged forward, smashing into her with a Zen Headbutt that sent her flying. He snatched her again with Psychic before she could be thrown too far and pulled her back, hitting her with Zen Headbutt again before she had time to recover…then did it again…and again…and again…

And then, just before he could hit her a sixth time, a Water Pulse splashed into him from behind, causing him to lose his focus and his grip on Sasha. "What-" Houdini screamed in agony as Sasha, freed from his control, used the momentum built up by being thrown at him to lunge at the Alakazam, striking him with Night Slash as she passed. He fell to his knees, clutching the bleeding claw marks on his chest and sides in pain as Sasha landed behind him. Golden hairs fell from his face, half of his luxurious mustache severed from his nose.

"Ha! Didn't your oversized brain tell you I was right behind you? Some genius, loser!" Leo taunted, turning around and smacking his rear to be excessively rude.

"King K, thank you for saving me," Sasha said. "But what about your own opponent?"

"Eh, he ain't goin' nowhere, babe," Leo said casually, pointing at Uri, who was lying some distance away on the ground, still snoring loudly. "So let's trash this clown in the meantime, yo!"

"You are…ugh…thinking of a Mr. Mime," Houdini grunted as he got to his feet. "To which I am far superior!" He glowed as he used Recover to heal himself. His mustache was still ruined, though. Recover healed physical wounds, but didn't grow back facial hair, as quite a few unhappy balding Pokemon had discovered. "You bitch…do you have any idea how long I spent growing that mustache?! The amount of effort I put into keeping it nice and clean and shiny every day?!"

"No, and I don't really care," Sasha said disinterestedly. "Vanity is a weakness I have never indulged in."

"Then why's your fur got such a nice, white sheen that you can only get from hours of grooming and care, dawg?" Leo asked her.

"There's a difference between vanity and clean living," she replied.

"Regardless, you were only able to strike me because my guard was down! That won't happen again!" the Alakazam roared, using Psychic to lift his enemies…and was surprised when only Sasha rose into the air. "What? Why is the fool still on the ground?!"

"Hey, who you calling a fool, fool?!" Leo asked angrily.

Sasha smirked. "Your species has powerful Psychic abilities…but you require spoons to focus them properly, do you not?" She shifted her front paw as much as she could while suspended in the air, revealing that she had a spoon held between two claws. "Look what I took from you while I was slashing you…"

Leo burst into laughter. "Dude—er, babe—you're totally the shit!"

"What?!" Sasha snapped angrily.

"Uh, it was a compliment, yo!" Leo said quickly.

"Oh," she said, rather confused.

Houdini gasped. "My spoon! Give that to me!" He stretched out his hand, and the spoon levitated out of Sasha's claws and towards him….

Until Leo, whom he had made the mistake of not paying attention to yet again, slammed into his gut with a Rapid Spin. The Alakazam doubled over in pain, coughing up blood and saliva as Leo rebounded off of his chest and both Sasha and the spoon dropped to the ground. The Absol dashed over to the spoon before Houdini could recover, picked it up in her jaws, and broke it in two with a Bite attack. Houdini cringed and cried out as a splitting headache tore through his skull, caused by the psychic feedback from the spoon's destruction. "Aaaahhh….uhhh…"

"Ha! Not so smart now, are ya? That's how we do it back in the hood, G!" Leo said.

"G? His name is Houdini," said the puzzled Sasha, spitting out the spoon pieces.

Leo sweatdropped. "No, it's…oh, forget it."

One eye squinted shut, Houdini recovered. "You forget…I still have one spoon, and if it was good enough for me as a Kadabra, it'll be good enough for me now!" His eyes glowed and he fired Psybeams at them. Sasha jumped out of the way of one while Leo withdrew into his shell to spin away from the other. Houdini pointed his one remaining spoon at Leo, eyes glowing, and used Psychic to lift the turtle and throw him at Sasha.

Rather than dodging, she spun around, smacking Leo's shell away from her with her tail and flinging it at Houdini. The Alakazam quickly Teleported away and Leo struck the floor, rebounded, bounced, and skidded a few times before coming to a halt. Groaning, Leo crawled out of his shell, his shades askew on his face. "Uhhh…okay, that hurt…"

Houdini reappeared next to Sasha and lashed out with a DynamicPunch from his free hand. She easily ducked under the blow and latched onto his leg with Bite, digging her Dark-powered fangs into the Psychic's skin. He cried out in pain and flung her away using Psychic…which turned out to be a bit of a mistake, since she tore off quite a bit of his flesh in the process. Grimacing in pain, he tried to heal it using Recover…but with only one spoon, his power was limited, and while he could seal the wound, not all the damage was mended, and he found himself only able to walk with a limp. Good thing he could still Teleport, though.

As Sasha landed from where he had thrown her, she swung her head, throwing a Psycho Cut from her horn. He countered by creating one of his one with a swish from his spoon, and the two blades collided and exploded. As smoke briefly covered part of the field, Ash and Pikachu quickly ran to the Absol as Leo dragged himself over. "Hey Sasha, think you could do us a favor and break this?" Ash asked, handing Sasha Presto's spoon.

She smiled and took it in her jaws. "It'd be my pleasure, Ash."

"NOOOOO! MY SPOOOOON!" Presto yelled as he ran over, trying to gather the energy he needed to Teleport.

He was too late. Sasha broke the spoon in half with Bite, causing the Kadabra to scream in pain and fall to the ground, dropping his stolen sword and grabbing his aching head. Houdini Teleported over to his friend. "Presto, no!" He put a hand on the Kadabra's shoulder and used Recover to try and ease his pain. Presto smiled gratefully to him, and Houdini put Presto's arm over his shoulder to help him up as Team Aurabolt approached.

"It's all but over now," Pikachu said to them. "Your powers have been reduced severely, your third team member is of no help, and you're outnumbered. Do we keep fighting, or are you ready to throw in the towel?"

"We may have underestimated you," Houdini admitted.

"But we're not giving up yet!" Presto grunted. "Even if I can barely stand."

"Cool," said Ash. "We wouldn't really have been satisfied if you had just surrendered anyway. Let's finish this."

Houdini held on tightly to Presto and abruptly Teleported, reappearing some distance away and charging up a Hyper Beam. Sasha quickly used Me First to copy and fire off the beam before he could, but Presto, drawing strength from his friend, fired a Psybeam to counter the Hyper Beam blast. The beams collided and exploded, giving the duo a chance to Teleport away again

"They're on their last legs," Pikachu commented as the Psi Pokemon reappeared again and fired a Psybeam and a Psycho Cut at them.

"But we won't be able to knock them out if they keep teleporting," Leo complained after he had fired an Ice Beam at the duo, only for them to Teleport away again.

"I have an idea," Sasha said. "Let's get into the center of the stage, stand back-to-back, and fire attacks in every direction. That way, if they Teleport out of the way of one, they'll run into another. The stage will be completely covered."

"Sounds good to me," Ash said. Pikachu grabbed his sword from where Presto had dropped it, and they hurried to the middle of the arena as the two Psychics Teleported in and out, hurling attacks their way before vanishing again.

"Okay, let's do this on one…two…" Pikachu started counting down.

"Three!" Leo yelled, firing his Ice Beam. Sasha flung Razor Wind blades, Pikachu fired a Thunderbolt, and Ash shot off a Flash Cannon. (Another new move he had obtained from the Kecleon Bros.) Standing with their backs to each other, they rotated in place so that their attacks flew all over the place, forcing Houdini to keep Teleporting constantly to keep from getting hit. However, his power was running low without his second spoon and because he had to carry Presto with him, and so it was inevitable that eventually he appeared briefly but couldn't muster the strength to Teleport again before he got hit by Pikachu's Thunderbolt. Both Psi Pokemon cried in pain as the high-voltage blast coursed through their body. Houdini's bad leg gave out under him and he fell, dropping Presto in the process. The team broke formation and charged at the duo before they could recover. Houdini quickly threw up a Protect barrier, but Ash shattered it easily with a single Brick Break, allowing Leo to slam into the Alakazam's chest with a Rapid Spin and Sasha to hit him with one last Night Slash, knocking his remaining spoon from his hand and finishing him off. With a gasp of pain he keeled over and passed out on the floor.

"Uhh…not bad…" Presto grunted as he tried and failed to lift himself off the ground. "But I still have one last…trick up…my sleeve. All good magicians do." He fainted.

They stared at him in confusion. "That was anticlimactic, yo," Leo commented.

"What trick was he talking about-" Ash started to ask before they got blasted from behind by a Future Sight energy ball that Presto had expended the last of his power to summon a few minutes ago. The explosion was intense, and sent them flying in all directions. They hit the ground hard, far apart from each other, and lay there, smoke rising from their bodies. None of them were moving.

The audience was stunned. Even the MC seemed nonplussed. "Uh…well…that looked like it hurt. Um, seems we have a double knockout on our hands, folks, which means…no, wait! Uri the Abra is still on the field, albeit sleeping, so technically one member of Hocus Pocus is still capable of fighting! In other words, by default, Hocus Pocus is the winn…er?"

The audience gasped as Sasha grunted and rose to her feet, shaking her fur to get the soot out. One by one, her teammates, their fur and shell blackened by the explosion, groaned and staggered to their feet in varying disheveled states. They were rather beaten and burnt, but for the most part they were okay. "Huh. That Future Sight had more flash than substance," said a surprised Pikachu.

"Well, what do you expect, the guy didn't really have a lot of power left after Night Slash broke his spoon," Leo pointed out. "Should we really be surprised his attack wasn't as strong as it could have been?"

"Speaking of Night Slash…how come you don't look as hurt by the explosion as we do?" Ash asked Sasha, who did indeed look perfectly fine.

"Miracle Eye's effect must have worn off after Houdini passed out," she guessed. "So while the explosion still threw me away, it didn't hurt me."

"Cool! Man, I need to become a Dark-type someday…" Leo said.

"It's a miracle, folks! The Fighting Four are all okay!" the MC said as the crowd cheered. "However, the fight isn't over yet. Unless they can find a way to either KO Uri or remove him from the ring, Hocus Pocus is technically still in the game! How will they defeat their most difficult adversary yet…a sleeping Abra who Teleports away the instant anyone approaches him?"

"Hey yeah, how _are_ we going to beat him?" Leo asked. "I tried all my moves on him, but nothing worked, he automatically zapped away whenever I got close enough to hit him."

"Maybe if we did that same wide-range attack pattern again to cover the whole field so he can't escape?" Pikachu suggested.

Ash shook his head. "No, he's smaller and quicker and has more power left in him than the other two. Plus, I'm not sure I've got it in me to do a repeat, I feel kinda drained."

"It _has_ been a rather long fight," Pikachu admitted.

"What shall we do, then?" Sasha asked. "We need to defeat him for this to count as a win and move on to the next round of the tournament."

Ash frowned. "Well…King K, what did you try when you fought him?"

"More like what _didn't_ I try!" Leo yelled in frustration. "I used every attack and strategy I could think of, homes, but no matter what, he'd Teleport away in the nick of time and reappear right behind me, fo'real!"

Ash stiffened. "Right behind you, you said?"

Leo nodded. "Yeah!"

"_Always_?"

"Yeah! A real pain in the ass! Not a literal one, but he could have been if he wanted to!" Leo said. "Why do you ask, dawg?"

A smile slowly formed on Ash's face. "Because I think I have an idea…"

A few minutes later…

"This may sound odd coming from me, but this is never going to work," Leo complained.

"You're right, that does sound odd from you, considering some of the crazy schemes you've come up with in the past," Pikachu agreed.

"But this one's way too stupid! There's no way it'll work, yo!" Leo protested.

"The same could be said of many of your plans, and yet here we are," Ash pointed out.

Leo sighed. "Yeah, I guess so…fine, let's do this." He turned his back to the edge of the stage and faced the snoozing Uri. He took a deep breath and spat some Bubbles at the Abra. Uri immediately Teleported away, reappearing a few feet behind Leo. Leo walked around Uri, careful not to get close enough to trigger another Teleport, and when his back was to the stage, he fired more Bubbles. Again, Uri Teleported and reappeared behind Leo. Leo walked around Uri and spat still more Bubbles…and once more, Uri Teleported behind him. Leo repeated this process several times, carefully coaxing the Abra further and further across the stage until Uri was only feet away from the end, with Leo standing on the edge. He took another deep breath, knowing that if this didn't work, they might be screwed…and fired one last burst of Bubbles.

Uri Teleported…and reappeared on the ground behind Leo, past the edge of the stage, automatically forfeiting the fight. Uri did not appear to realize that he had just lost his team the match, and continued sleeping peacefully as the crowd cheered the Fighting Four. "Dude, that actually worked! Fo'shizzle!" said the surprised Leo.

"Told you it would," Ash said, patting Leo on the back. "You're not the only one who can come up with crazy ideas sometimes."

"Yes, but King K's have a slightly stronger chance of succeeding," Pikachu pointed out.

"Yeah," Ash agreed. "Hey, wait!"

"That was a tough match. I'm glad it's over," Sasha said, shaking her body to throw off some sweat. "Now I know what it's like to be on the wrong end of a Psychic attack…it wasn't pleasant. I will not take my usual immunity to Psychic powers for granted again."

"And it looks like the Fighting Four have triumphed over Hocus Pocus, using ingenuity rather than sheer physical force to win the day!...How lame! They were supposed to be the BRAWN and Hocus Pocus was supposed to be the BRAINS, but by coming up with a clever strategy they blurred the line so cannot be easily lumped in one group or another! Now what're we supposed to think of them?! Besides, that tactic was completely boring, the audience came here to see a real brawl, not some dicking around with Bubbles and Teleporting! If you want that kind of 'action,' you can go to a sissy Pokemon Contest on some other island and leave the fighting to the REAL mons!"

"Yeah, the way you beat that Abra sucked!" a Pokemon cried.

"There were no explosions or anything!" another agreed.

"I'm gonna go onto my blog after this and rant how totally lame and uninteresting the Fighting Four are to all my 7,560 online friends!" shouted yet another. Leo fumed angrily, making a note to stop being online friends with whoever that guy was. And to complain about how much of a jerk that guy was in his _own_ blog.

"Geez, what is with these people?! We won, and they're complaining because we didn't do it as flashily or brutally as they wanted?!" asked an exasperated Pikachu.

"I'm pretty sure the crowd never complained this much in…some of the other tournaments I've fought in," Ash said, thinking back to what little he remembered of his days as a Pokemon trainer.

"At least we won. We can take solace in that, and ignore what anyone else thinks of us," Sasha said wisely.

"And that Dark-type is a cunt! She must have cheated to beat the great Houdini!" a Pokemon in the audience who happened to be a member of a Psychic Supremacy movement shouted loudly. (There were, regrettably, certain 'civilized' Pokemon who believed that their type was stronger than all the others, and blindly ignored any evidence to the contrary. Like-minded Pokemon of the same types often banded together to form supremacist movements which scorned and discriminated against anyone of a type that was different to them, claimed that whenever something bad happened to them it was because of a conspiracy created by the 'weaker' types, and were especially prejudicial to Pokemon of mixed types, claiming that they were 'ruining' the 'purity' of their type. When these Pokemon inevitably got the crap beaten out of them by the 'inferior' types that they happened to be weak to and thrown in dumpsters, very few people cared.)

Sasha's eye twitched. "Do you suppose anyone would mind if I mauled a few people?"

"You could get kicked out of the tournament," Ash pointed out.

"It would be worth it, though, I think," Sasha replied. They sweatdropped, realizing she wasn't joking. Well, she _was_ technically a wild Pokemon…just because she was in a city and on a team at the moment didn't mean she had become completely civilized, did it?

"Night Slash, just because you were able to maul Pokemon who bothered you back home whenever you wanted to doesn't mean its okay to do that here," Pikachu said slowly. "There are rules against that sort of thing."

"Though if she did, would anyone really care?" Leo speculated.

"King K," Pikachu hissed.

"What? I don't think anyone would," Leo said.

Ash sighed and shook his head. "Let's just get our money and head home, guys…I'm tired. It's been a long day. And somehow I get the feeling we're going to have even longer days to come…"

As Team Aurabolt left the arena, none of them were aware that a familiar face had been watching them from the rafters all along. The ninja Buneary narrowed her eyes as the foursome exited the room, somewhat impressed by their ability and annoyed that the fickle crowd did not have the same opinion of them that she did. She growled and mentally smacked herself, wondering what was wrong with her, and why she felt so drawn to these strange Pokemon when she had more important matters to deal with. But she knew it could not be a coincidence that their paths continued to cross, and had the feeling that somehow their destinies were intertwined in ways she could not imagine. It was because of this that she had taken time off from shadowing her nemesis to watch their fights and see them in action. She had to admit that they were strong, but she doubted that they could best her.

Which was why, if they should stand in her way, she was confident she could defeat them. She did not particularly want to, there was something about them that made her want to…_like_ them, a form of emotional attachment she had forsworn long ago. Such an attachment would only be a weakness in her quest for vengeance and so she promised that she would sever it— not without a hint of regret— should her obsession with them become a problem. It would almost be a pity if she had to do that, though…for some reason, watching them and being around them had made her feel more real, more alive, than she had in a very long time. She wasn't positive that was a good thing.

She shook her head to banish these dangerous and counterintuitive thoughts and rose to her feet. She did not have time for introspection. Her foe was about to start his next match on the other side of the building, and she didn't want to miss it. It could be the chance she was looking for…the opportunity to end his life once and for all, and avenge those whom he had betrayed and killed.

Thoughts of bloody revenge filling her, she vanished into the shadows, leaving no trace that she had ever been there behind.

…

Meanwhile, in Chicole Town…

"So, you're Jerry, right? Jerry the Cherubi?" Gary asked the very small red Cherry Pokemon sitting on the bed next to him.

"Yes. That's me," Jerry said.

"And you're…how old again?" Mary asked the Cherubi.

Jerry sighed wearily. "Eighteen." It was clear he got asked this a lot.

Evan snickered. "Wow, when your dad sssaid you were a late bloomer, he really meant it! Ssshouldn't you have evolved by now?"

"Should have, but haven't," Jerry grumbled. "It'll happen eventually! Or…well, it would have, if it weren't for…" He trailed off. Team Nightshade exchanged looks, knowing what he had been about to say. He might have evolved into a Cherrim someday if he weren't condemned to be sacrificed to the monstrous two-headed serpent Hissssa in the very near future. The somewhat unorthodox Rescue Team had decided to meet with the chosen sacrifice before they made their preparations to fight the big snake and reassure him that they'd make sure everything turned out right in the end.

"Don't worry kid, we'll make sure everything turns out right in the end!" Gary said.

"I'm not a kid, and you can't! There's no way you can!" Jerry said sadly. "Hissssa is far too powerful. There's no way you can possibly defeat her!"

"Yeah, they sssaid that about the Devil Golem, too," Evan said.

"Nobody said that," Mary pointed out.

"Well, they _ssshould_ have," he grumbled.

"In any case, we managed to beat _that_ thing, so we can probably defeat a giant two-headed snake with no problem!" Gary said.

"Uh, you guys _do_ realize that the Devil Golem in question was bound and chained in lava, thus limiting its attacks, and had been imprisoned for centuries, so it wasn't as strong as it usually would have been?" Maren said.

Gary frowned. "How would you know that?"

"Uh, because you told me it had been bound up when you got out of the volcano," Maren said quickly, remembering that they weren't supposed to know that she had been following them. "And I've heard stories about how powerful those Golems were supposed to be, so figured that must have been why you were able to beat it instead of being immediately killed like nearly everyone else who's ever tried to defeat one."

"Even if it was weaker than normal, it was still many times our size and killed Gooey. Well, _Evan_ killed Gooey, but regardless we still managed to defeat it, so I think we have a good chance against Hissssa," said Mary.

"So long as Evan doesn't throw anyone else at the monster for some reason," Gary said, glaring at the Ekans.

"How many timesss do I have to sssay I'm sssorry?!" the exasperated snake asked.

"Five hundred more times," Mary said.

Evan sighed. "I'm sssorry. I'm sssorry. I'm sssorry. I'm sssorry…"

"Anyway, where was I? Oh, right, I was promising you that we'd beat Hissssa and make sure that you'll live long enough to evolve and ditch that freaky little second head you've got dangling from your stem," Gary told Jerry.

"I think it's staring at me…" said the disturbed Mary.

"Its eyes are closed," Maren pointed out.

"It's staring at me from under its lids…" Mary said, causing Maren to sweatdrop.

Jerry sighed. "Your sentiments are noble, and I appreciate your offer…but I beg you, please reconsider! Warriors far greater than you have tried and failed to defeat the beast! I do not wish you to suffer their same fate…or my own…"

Gary blinked. "Greater than us?! Hey, what's that supposed to mean?!"

"We realize you're afraid, but you have nothing to worry about," Mary assured her. "We're a Rescue Team. We save Pokemon for a living. We'll make sure you don't get eaten like all your predecessors."

"But that's what I'm trying to tell you, you _can't!_ Nobody can!" Jerry insisted. "And you'll get eaten too! Or worse…"

"What could be worse than getting eaten alive?" Gary wondered.

"I can think of sssome thingsss," said Evan.

"Shouldn't you be apologizing?" Mary asked.

Evan sighed and continued. "I'm sssorry. I'm sssorry. I'm sssorry…"

"I fear that if you try and intervene in the sacrifice, Hissssa will become very angry. As I have said, many have tried to slay her in the past. We're starting to get worried that she's losing patience with us for sending so many warriors after her. There's a chance that, if you attack her and fail, she'll take her anger out on our village and kill all who live here!" Jerry said. "That is why I am asking you to please let me go with her without fighting. While I am sure you are as strong as you say, the consequences of your failure are too great a risk for me to take. As the son of the Mayor, I must refuse your offer to help me. If my sacrifice will prolong our village's existence, then I can do nothing more than give up my own life. Not doing so would spell our doom, and I cannot be responsible for something like that. Do you understand? That is why I can't let you help us. It's far too dangerous not just for yourself, but for everyone."

"I see. Your concerns are noted and completely disregarded!" Gary said cheerfully.

"Wh-what?!" Jerry stammered in surprise. "But-"

"But nothing! We're a Rescue Team! We can't turn our backs on something like this!" Gary said. "Especially not if we can get some sweet, sweet treasure out of it…"

"We help people in need," Mary said, giving Gary a pointed look. "Even if there _isn't_ a reward for our good deeds."

"Yeah, but there's one for this, so that's good too," Gary said.

"But-but you can't! It's much too dangerous!" Jerry protested. "You could die! _Everyone _could die, not just us!"

"Psh, please, I'm a Ghost! I'm already dead!" Gary said dismissively. "I've got nothing to worry about!"

"Actually, if Ghossstsss take enough damage, can't they losses their grip on the corporeal world and passs on for real?" Evan asked.

"Evan!" Mary snapped. "No talking! More apologizing!"

Evan sighed. "Fine. I'm sssorry. I'm sssorry. I'm sssorry…"

"Anyway, my point is that we're not afraid of some giant snake, and we're going to fight her and save your village, whether you like it or not!" Gary explained.

"But-but I just told you, the danger-" Jerry protested.

Gary laughed. "Ha! We eat danger for breakfast! And it tastes spicy, especially with a side of bacon and some pancakes, with butter and maple syrup on top!"

Jerry turned red…der. "Don't I get any say in this?! It's my sacrifice, after all!"

"No," said Mary.

"Trust us, kid, you'll thank us later, once we've saved your life and rid the village of Hissssa once and for all!" Gary said. "And to commemorate this promise…Mary! The swag…er…toolbox!" Mary took out the toolbox. Gary flipped it open, searched it for a bit, and pulled out a badge. "With this badge, I hereby name you, Jerry the Cherubi, an honorary member of Team Nightshade! As part of the team, you get the exclusive membership privilege of knowing we'll come and save you no matter what, since we never leave a teammate behind! At least…we don't anymore!" He sniffed and wiped away a tear. "Oh, Gooey…"

"Uh, Gary, are you sssure thisss isss a good idea?" Evan asked. "I mean, remember what happened to the _lassst_ guy you gave a badge to?"

"Shut up, Evan!" Gary snapped. Evan cringed and went back to saying his five hundred apologies. "Anyway, where was I? Oh, right, I'm giving you this badge to show that you're part of the team! Now let's see, where should I put this…"

"Wait, wait, I don't want to be part of—OW!" Jerry screamed as Gary pinned the badge onto the face of his second head. "That hurt!"

"Growing up always does, kid," Gary said, patting Jerry patronizingly on the head. "It always does." Maren sweatdropped.

"I think I'm older than you, you know," Jerry said sourly.

"That's nice," Gary said, not paying attention. "Anyway, you're part of the team, which means we'll definitely come save you and stuff!"

"And if something should go horribly wrong, just tap on the badge and scream at the top of your lungs for a guy named Scotty to rescue you," said Mary. "Come to think of it, we probably should have told that to Gooey…"

"Eh, he wouldn't have had a chance to do that, even if he had known," Evan said. They glared at him. "Uh, I mean, I'm sssorry. I'm sssorry. I'm sssorry."

Gary clapped his hands. "Now, come, my brave Rescue Team! Except for you, Jerry, you're only honorary, and you have your own part to play. Let's go make our preparations for taking on the beast!"

Gary led everyone from the room, save Maren. She approached the anxious-looking Cherubi. "Hey. I know you're scared," she said to the talking cherry. "But I promise you'll be okay. Gary may not be the brightest, or the nicest, or…well, the thing is, his heart is in the right place, as astonishing as it might sound. If he promises to save you, then that's what he's going to do. Especially after what happened the last time…" She smiled reassuringly and left the room.

"Save me?" Jerry murmured. "But…that's what I'm _afraid of…_"

…

Meanwhile, in Pokemon Square…

Pichu, Team GX, and Matthias clustered around the door to the guest room where Aaron was staying in the Thunderblade household, anxiously glancing in at the larger-than-life Lucario, who was meditating in lotus position. There would be nothing out of the ordinary about this except that he was surrounded by a blue glow and levitating a few inches off the ground. "What should we do?" Junior whispered very loudly. "Grampa said that we should go get Aaron since Dad and Uncle Pikachu's latest fight should be on TV in a few minutes, but…" He trailed off. None of them were willing to go in there to disturb Aaron. He was so awesome; they couldn't help being a little scared of him.

Then again, they knew he'd probably want to watch the fight. Since the Thunderblades didn't possess a computer (too much electrical interference in the house due to its occupants), they had been forced to use one of Scotty's or their neighbors' whenever they wanted to contact their family abroad, and nobody in town had a webcamera (though the Kecleon Bros. said they should have one in stock in a few days), so the televised footage of the Mt. Battle tournament was so far the closest Aaron had been to seeing Ash in action. (Yeah, turned out he could still watch TV using Aura-sight. Neat, right? And very convenient.) So, he would want to watch the fight to see how good Ash was getting, so he could better figure out what to tell Ash in regards to his training in Aura skills when the two inevitably met face-to-face (Or screen to screen, when the Bros. finally got that darn webcam!). However, Aaron had requested that he not be disturbed while he meditated, since he was trying to use Aura to tap into the substrate of the universe and see what the future held for them, a less precise form of divination than Sabrina's abilities, but still worth a shot. So, which was more important: having him watch TV, or learning something that might help protect Pokemon Square from the impending disaster?

"Okay," Pichu said finally, a determined expression forming on his face. "One of us should go in there and wake him up. I don't care if he's trying to predict the future, nobody in this household passes up prime TV and gets away with it!"

"Okay," said Collette. "But who's going in?"

"Not me," whimpered Sapphire.

"Whoever it does must be very brave, with an iron will and lots of courage and stuff," Matthias said.

Pichu perked up. "In that case, I nominate you, Matthias!"

"Seconded," everyone else said.

Matthias started. "Wh-what?! Me?! But why?!"

"Because you have what it takes! And you're still the new guy, so it's all right for us to haze you and make you do all the unpleasant stuff we don't want to do," Pichu said.

"But-but-" Matthias protested.

"Thanks for volunteering, Uncle Matthias!" Junior said, pushing Matthias into the room and retreating to a safe distance. "We know you can do it!"

"Yeah, you're the best!" Collette said.

"Good luck!" chirped Sapphire.

"We've got your back, man! We'll just watch from over here," Pichu said, waving from the door. "Far, far away."

Matthias sweatdropped. "You guys suck." Grumbling, he cautiously approached Aaron. The blindfolded Lucario gave no sign that he knew Matthias was there, just kept floating and glowing. The Rattata cleared his throat. There was no reaction. He coughed loudly. There was no reaction. He took a deep breath and timidly said, "Uh, Mister Aaron?" There was no reaction. "Mister Aaron?" There was no reaction. "MISTER AARON!" There was no reaction. He frowned. "I don't think he can hear me."

"Touch him!" Pichu hissed.  
"What?!" Matthias asked incredulously.

"Touch him!" Pichu said again.

"Are you crazy?! I'm not touching him! I could, I dunno, catch on fire or something!" Matthias stammered.

"If you do, I'll put you out," Sapphire offered.

"Would that work? I heard somewhere that Aura fire burns so strongly that not even water can extinguish!" Junior said nervously. Matthias whimpered.

Collette smacked her brother. "Great job, dummy, as if he didn't have enough to be scared of as is! I'm sure you'll be fine, Matthias!...but just in case, you probably shouldn't touch him directly." Matthias sweatdropped. Collete gasped. "Oh! I know. Hang on, I'll be right back!" She flew off and returned a few moments later carrying a wooden training sword, which she threw into the room. "Here, poke him with this!"

Matthias sweatdropped. "You've got to be kidding me."

"No, that's a great idea! Poke him with that!" Sapphire said.

"Yeah, that way if it bursts into flame, you can drop it and run for it!" Junior said.

Matthias sighed. "Fine…" He walked over to the sword, and then paused. "Hey, I just realized something."

"What?" asked Pichu.

"How come Raiki makes me and you train with swords and stuff, but not them?" Matthias asked, gesturing to Team GX.

"I don't have any thumbs, and my arms are too short to use a sword properly," Collete said sadly.

"I don't have any hands at all. Not yet, anyway," said Sapphire.

"And not only do I not have hands, but I can't stand on my hind legs. I can hold stuff in my trunk, but Grampa says that it's not the best way a grip a sword," said Junior.

"Oh," said Matthias. He supposed those were all good reasons. That still didn't stop him from feeling resentful that they were making him do this by himself, though. He grasped the sword in his front paws and, with some effort, managed to rise up on his hind legs. He tottered over to Aaron, trying desperately not to fall—he still wasn't very good on this walking thing—and tentatively tapped Aaron in the chest with the sword. Nothing happened. The sword did not burst into blue flames. Somewhat emboldened, Matthias poked him harder. Still nothing happened. Getting annoyed, Matthias poked harder…

And wound up losing his balance, falling forward and driving the sword into Aaron's nose. The Lucario sneezed. Pichu and Team GX gasped in fright. Matthias squealed in alarm, dropped the sword, and scurried out of the room, where he hid behind Junior, quivering in terror. Pichu sweatdropped. "Okay, that was pathetic…we're jumping every time the guy breathes! I mean, yeah, he's totally badass, but he's not _that_ scary!"

"Then _you_ go in there and snap him out of it!" Matthias shouted.

"Well, maybe I will!" Pichu said, puffing out his chest and marching into the room. He paused when he realized what he was doing. "Wait, what am I doing?!"

"You can do it, Uncle Pichu!" Collette yelled.

"Yeah, we have faith in you!" said Junior.

"And we've got your back! From all the way over here!" Matthias sneered. Payback was always so sweet, wasn't it?

Pichu sighed. "Great…oh well, guess there's nothing to it. Now, let's see…poking him didn't work, so…" He gasped. "Of course! I'll just do what Big Brother Pikachu always does to wake up other Big Brother Ash whenever he sleeps too late! Dad said he used to do the same thing to Uncle Aaron all the time!" His cheeks started crackling.

Collette gasped. "Wait, I don't think that's a good-"

"CHUUUUU!" Pichu cried, blasting Aaron with a Thundershock and causing him to wake up from his meditative fugue, falling to the ground face-first and twitching in pain while yelling loudly. "Hi, Uncle Aaron!" he said cheerfully as Aaron groaned.

"Hello…Pichu…" Aaron groaned as he pulled himself up. "There are…much gentler methods to wake a Pokemon up, you know."

"Yeah, but those are boring," Pichu said.

Aaron sighed. "So, why exactly have you woken me up when I was on the cusp of attaining enlightenment? Wait, don't tell me…I can read it in your Aura. And I can see the time by observing the position of the sun using my Aura-sight to peer through the walls. And I can smell your mother cooking, which means it's almost dinnertime, which means…Ash and Pikachu's team are about to be shown on television, correct? And you were trying to wake me up so I wouldn't miss it"

"Wow, you're a real mind-reader, Uncle Aaron!" said the impressed Pichu.

"Not really," Aaron said with a chuckle, patting Pichu on the head. "Thank you for waking me, but I would appreciate it if you tried something else next time. I thought I was beyond the days when your father electrocuted me when I slept in." He frowned and rubbed his nose. "And Matthias, please refrain from sticking a sword in my nose in the future, that hurts."

"Yes, sir," Matthias said timidly.

Aaron rose to his feet. "All right, let's go down, I don't want to miss this…oh. Is Raiki going to be wearing that stupid hat again?"

"The one with the cupholders?" asked Collete.

"Yes, that one," said Aaron.

"I think so," said Junior.

Aaron sighed as he walked past them and into the hallway. "I really must get around to destroying that thing someday…"

He headed downstairs. Pichu, Collette, and Junior followed. Matthias didn't move, and Sapphire lingered to see what was wrong. "What's wrong, Uncle Matthias?" the little Azurill asked.

"I-I don't believe it. I stuck a sword up the nose of the legendary hero Aaron and lived!" Matthias said, astonished. "This is incredible! That was one of the most terrifying things I've ever done in my life…and nothing bad happened! Unbelievable!"

"Yeah, I know!" Sapphire said. "But you probably shouldn't do that to him again. Or any other Pokemon, for that matter. They may not be as forgiving as Aaron."

Matthias nodded in agreement. "I know, I know…but still, that was an almost transformative experience. After doing something like that, I'm not sure that anything scares me anymore!"

"Even joining our Rescue Team and going out into the wild to save Pokemon in need?" Sapphire asked hopefully.

"Except that," Matthias said flatly.

"Oh," said the disappointed Sapphire.

Matthias sighed. "Can I ask you a question, Sapphire? How exactly can a Rescue Team composed of three little kids as childish as yourselves—kids who aren't even a year old, for that matter!—possibly be as successful as you are? You're younger than me, but it sounds like you've done tons more heroic things in your few months of life than I have in my entire cowardly existence! How do you do it?!"

"Easily," said Sapphire.

"Huh?" said Matthias.

"We do it easily, Uncle Matthias," Sapphire said.

Matthias stared at her incredulously. "What kind of answer is that?!"

"The right one," Sapphire said. "And when you understand that, you'll find the courage you need to truly be a hero, and a part of this family." She bounced away on her tail, leaving Matthias to ponder these strange, profound words.

"They do it easily?" Matthias murmured. "What the heck does that mean?"

"All right, it's dinner time!" Delia shouted from downstairs. "Everyone come down to the family room so we can eat and watch Ash and Pikachu and their friends battle!"

"All right! And I have my drinking hat on!" Raiki said. "Hey, Aaron, what are you doing with that? Give it back! HEY!"

Matthias sighed and shook his head. "I'll have to figure this out later…whatever's going on downstairs is something I definitely don't want to miss!" He ran off to join his family.

…

Meanwhile, in the Celestial Heavens…

Sensing her mother was back, Bea willed herself from her palatial room (a chamber that, if it could be measured in the same dimensions we mortals use, would be at least the size of a mansion) and rematerialized in the entry hall in time to welcome Latias—the Guardian of Light Latias, not to be mistaken with the one on Earth—home. She immediately felt the unease and worry pouring off her mother. "What's the latest news?" she asked. Latias had spent the last several hours (in Celestial time) in a briefing with other high-ranking Guardians on the current potential Class-Z emergency. She didn't actually need to ask, she could easily find out for herself by looking into her mother's mind or reading the information in the 'smart air' that made up the atmosphere, but she preferred to hear important information from her mother by word of mouth, no matter how outdated and slow some of her friends thought it was.

Latias sighed, unease pulsing off her. "It's as bad as we thought it was. Someone is trying to open the Door…a Door that hasn't been opened since the end of the Crisis Wars."

"But who's doing this? Don't they realize what could happen if what's behind that Door gets out?!" Bea asked anxiously.

"We…don't know," Latias said reluctantly.

Bea stared at her mother incredulously. "But-but that's impossible. We know _everything_. The information network of the Guardians stretches literally everywhere! We're tapped into the very fabric of space and time, the superstrings that tie everything together! We have people everywhere both here and abroad, watching for hints of danger and evil in every corner of the Omniverse! How could we possibly _not_ _know?!_"

"The same way we didn't see this coming long before now," Latias said ominously. "And the same way the Crisis Wars started, too…somewhere out there, probably in the problem universe, is someone who knows how to manipulate the superstrings as well as we do. They're scrambling our perceptions and the signals we're getting from that universe, to keep us from realizing just what's happening there. They've been at this for a long time; long enough to build up their forces and make almost all the preparations they need to open the Door…"

Bea shuddered in horror, the hall darkening around them. Someone as good as they were at controlling the fabric of creation? Good enough to cover up what they were doing so that not even the all-knowing Guardians learned of it until it was almost too late? That did not bode well… "Who could possibly be powerful enough to do something like this?"

Latias shook her head in dismay. "Like I said, I don't know! All the usual suspects are accounted for, which means it's someone new. Someone we don't know about. Which is bad, since we're supposed to know _everyone_, meaning there's no way we can predict whatever this unknown enemy is going to do. He or she is so good, in fact, that even now that we know he or she has been bamboozling us, we're _still _having difficulty unraveling the tangle of superstrings they've made around that universe that made it look like everything was fine up until now."

Bea recoiled, radiating alarm. "That's _really_ not good. Nothing like this has ever happened before, has it?"

Latias shook her head. "No. One time…and that was what kicked off the Crisis Wars."

Bea shuddered. "Are you saying that we're about to have another one?!"

"If that Door opens, we might just," Latias said unhappily. "And it's the best time to do it, too. With Arceus sleeping for Hell Year, our forces are stretched to their tightest trying to put out fires all over the Omniverse. Even our agents in the closest universes to the problem are too busy to stop what they're doing and investigate without potentially triggering a dilemma almost as big. If whoever's causing all the interference in that universe succeeds in whatever they're planning, we might not be able to get there fast enough to stop it from spreading everywhere and uniting everyone unsatisfied with the state of things into interdimensional war against the Powers That Be! Namely, us!"

"Just like the last time…" Bea whispered. She had not even been conceived until the Crisis Wars were over, but she still knew all about them. How could she not, when her mother was one of the key figures responsible for ending them? "Isn't there something we could do? I dunno, wake Arceus up so conflict throughout the Omniverse will lessen and call our forces back so we can be better prepared? Send someone in to stop what's going on before it's too late?"

Latias sighed. "We can't wake Arceus up. Only He and Mew can do that, and Mew's currently on one of Her periodic jaunts around the Omniverse…and naturally, She decided to bend the hyperstrings around Herself so that we wouldn't be able to track Her, either. Ugh, sometimes I don't understand what goes through that womon's mind…" She grimaced. "And we can't recall anyone from the field because, well, it's Hell Year! Like I said, if we pull anyone back from whatever disaster or war or quest they're monitoring, those situations could go out of control and destabilize everything we've set up there."

"Then there's _nothing_ we can do?!" Bea asked incredulously. "We're just going to sit here and _wait_ while some mysterious mastermind prepares to release the greatest evil that the Omniverse has ever known?!"

"I didn't say that," Latias said quickly. "There is _one_ Guardian that we can spare to send out there…one Guardian with enough experience with the Door and what lies behind it to deal with the situation adequately…one Guardian who's strong enough to stop that evil should it be released. That Guardian is me."

Bea gasped. "What?! But Mom, you can't go! What about all the work you've been doing from here? What about me? What about…what about Dad? If you're out in the realm of mortals, you won't be able to keep searching for him like you have been for the last few eons! Couldn't we get someone else to go instead? Like Uncle Latios?"

Latias shook her head. "He's on the other side of Creation from the Door, and busy handling a rebellion against the J'kagiya Conglomerate. If he succeeds, we may be able to remove the stranglehold they've had on their multiverse for the last three million years. If he leaves now, there's a strong chance the rebellion will fail, and everything we've worked for in that sector will have been for nothing. We're much closer to the Door's universe than he is, and while the work I've been doing has been important, it's nothing that another Guardian can't cover. As for your father…" She beamed, joy radiating off of her and filling the room with light. "We think we might have found him."

Bea gasped as hope filled her too, brightening the room even further. "What?! Really?!"

Latias nodded. "Yes. Now that we recognize that the strands around that universe are tangled up specifically to fool us, we've managed to spot a few holes that we can exploit to get at least some idea of what's going on in there. One thing we found right away is your father's energy signature. He's probably been trapped in there for a while now, and the tangle kept him from contacting us. If I go into that universe, then I can find him and bring him home! As well as use his help to stop the Door from opening."

"Wow," Bea whispered, her eyes stinging as tears began to well up. "I-I almost can't believe it…it seems like it's been forever since I last saw him…and now you think you can bring him home?"

Latias nodded, tearing up as well. "So we can be a family again, all three of us."

Bea hugged Latias, and mother and daughter held each other in a warm embrace as reality shifted around them to reflect their happiness. After a moment, Bea pulled away from her mother and asked, "When are you going?"

"Soon," Latias said. "We're still working on untangling those threads—whoever messed them up in the first place is pulling them back into disorder just as fast as we straighten them out—but as I said before, every weave has its holes, and I'm going to use one of those to get in. If I were in a neighboring universe I could just fly there under my own power, naturally, but since I'm here in the heart of things we're going to have to use a different method to get me there. You remember how Mew seeded the worlds so that individuals would evolve who would be genetically linked to certain Guardians and deities that we could use as hosts in case of emergencies? My power is too great for me to fit through the hole in the tangle and physically manifest without potentially causing major cataclysms and space-time distortions in that universe, so instead we're going to project my spirit—or part of it, anyway—into my mortal avatar there so I can use her as a proxy to stop the Door from opening…and find your father, naturally."

Bea frowned. "That sounds kind of dangerous…"

"I've done it plenty of times, it's nothing to worry about," Latias reassured her daughter. "We've already transmitted some warnings and instructions through one of the other holes to the precogs, some heroes, and the closest thing they have to Guardians in that universe so they'll be able to prepare my avatar for the spiritual upload. Once everything's ready on both our ends, I'll transfer enough of my power and spirit to her so that she'll be strong enough to stop whatever evil is going on, and there will be a constant link between the two of us so I can send more of me in if I need to or pull out once I'm finished…or if something goes wrong."

"Which it probably will," Bea said gloomily, causing the room to darken somewhat.

"Please don't say things like that, you know that when people like you or I believe things like that there's a chance that our assumptions and fears will come true," Latias scolded.

"Sorry," Bea said, chastened. She quickly changed her tune. "Um…I'm sure that you'll find Dad, stop the bad guys, and come home safely?"

Latias laughed, causing the room to brighten. "It won't work if you don't mean it, silly!"

"Sorry…I'm just worried," Bea said apologetically. "I mean, after so much time and so many disappointments, it's hard to feel hope and really mean it, you know?"

"I know, sweetie," Latias said gently, putting a hand on her daughter's shoulder. "But relax. Mother will make everything better. This is just another field mission, nothing new, right? It's just that the stakes are a little higher than usual. But that just means I'm going to try even harder to make sure nothing bad happens." A shadow passed over her face, and the room. "None of us wants what happened before to ever happen again…"

"It won't," Bea said, and this time she believed it. "Because you'll stop it. I know you will. You're the Guardian of Light, and more importantly, my mom. When you put your mind to it, there's almost nothing you can't do."

Latias smiled. "Thanks, honey." She hugged her daughter again. But, as grateful as she was for her daughter's support, she could not help harboring a trace of doubt. She had only barely been able to defeat and imprison the evil behind the Door the last time. Even with her beloved husband at her side, would she be able to do it again? Even beings as powerful as they did not always know what the future held…annoyingly enough.

Only time would tell. Or Dialga. Or Uxie. But they weren't there right then. Why did Arceus's family members always have to pick the worst times to go on vacation?! Ugh…

…

And that's a wrap for our first anniversary of Brave New World! Bet you didn't see any of this coming a year ago, did you?

Speaking of which, it's also been about a year now since we saw what Guardian Latias was doing! Haha…funny, right? Okay, not really…

Don't worry, you'll see her again sooner than next year. That much I can promise. What else can I promise? Well, you'll have to see, now won't you?


	25. Day 2: Tiny Terror

Now that the first anniversary of this story is over with, let's begin the next chapter…and say hello to a new member of Team Aurabolt!

Yeah, we just got another new one a few chapters ago. Got a problem with that?

Sorry if this chapter took a while, but I was busy with work. And going on a trip to Ireland. Yeah, you heard right, I went to Ireland. And it was AWESOME. Though the Internet could have been better.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

It was the second day of the Mt. Battle tenth anniversary tournament, and the Fighting Four's first match of the day was well underway. Or rather, _Pikachu's_ match was well underway, since the match was against the solo Crawdaunt Craw-daddy, so only one of the fearsome foursome needed to compete. As an Electric-type, Pikachu was naturally the best choice to go against the Water-type lobster

"Come on, boy!" the large crimson Crawdaunt shouted, snapping his pincers. "Come over here and take yer beatin' like a good 'mon!"

"Yeah, I don't think so," Pikachu said, standing several feet away from the Rogue Pokemon. "I'd rather not get close enough for you to catch me with those pincers!"

The Crawdaunt chortled. "Boy, if you ain't a-comin' to me, then I'm a-comin' to you! Ain't nobody who can outmatch ol' Craw-Daddy!"

"Then why have you never actually won a tournament here?" Pikachu asked.

The Crawdaunt turned redder. "That's…none o' yer business, boy! Now suck on some o' this!" He put his claws together and formed a Water Pulse, which he hurled at Ash.

"Please, you're not the only one who can do something like that," Pikachu said, swinging his sword and flinging an electric-charged Vacuum-Cut. The energy blade collided with the Water Pulse and exploded. "And mine is cooler, since it's made of electricity rather than some lame water!"

"Hey, I resemble that remark, fool!" Leo shouted from the bench outside the ring.

"Shouldn't that be 'resent?'" Sasha asked him.

"Yes, but since I'm supposed to be a 'gangsta', I'm intentionally using bad grammar, ho," Leo told her.

"Ah," Sasha said. She frowned. "Don't call me a ho, please."

"I meant it in a good way," he assured her. She raised an eyebrow skeptically.

"I'm starting to wonder if all Crawdaunts are like this," Ash commented. "He reminds me a lot of Bruce back home. Except Craw-daddy is a professional fighter, whereas Bruce is…well, a male escort."

"How's that pay?" Leo asked him.

"Pretty good, actually," Ash said. "He's very popular among the single womon back in Pokemon Square." He frowned. "Uh, not that I'm suggesting you go into the same business or anything."

Leo laughed. "Fool, I'da thought that'd be _you_ doing it, what with you being such a playa and all! Hoho, you are such a playa, playa!"

"I'm a what now?" asked Ash.

"You know…all those kids, all those womon in different towns…you know," Leo said.

"No, I don't," said a confused Ash.

Leo sighed. "Oh, never mind."

"I think it's time we stopped talking and started fighting," Pikachu said, charging up his electricity and firing a Thunderbolt at the Crawdaunt.

Craw-daddy laughed and crossed his pincers in front of himself to form a Protect shield that saved him from the dangerous electric attack. "I couldn'ta said it better myself, son! But I don't intend to be beaten by a shrimpy Plusle like yourself!"

"Seems to me like you're the shrimpy one…you know, being a lobster and all," Pikachu commented as he dashed towards the crustacean, sword held out at his side.

"I outgrew that stage years ago!" Craw-daddy replied, opening a pincer and sweeping a Dark Pulse across the ring. Ash flinched as he saw the move, his stomach clenching as it always did when he saw that attack. And just like always, he had no idea why… "Now I'm all mon, all muscle and armor! Ain't nothin' shrimpy about me, see?"

"Except in your brain," Pikachu countered as he jumped over the Pulse and arced into the air towards Craw-daddy, sword raised over his head. He charged electricity into his blade and swung it down…

Only to bounce off the Crawdaunt's Protect. "Who needs a big brain when you got a shell as tough as mine?" Craw-daddy boasted.

Pikachu used the momentum from his deflected attack to launch himself over the Crawdaunt's head as the Protect wore off. "Your shell may be as thick as your head…but unfortunately for you, it's not thick enough!" he replied as he swung an Iron Tail at the lobster's rear.

Instantly, one of Crawdaunt's pincers snapped closed on Pikachu's tail. "Ha! I'm the thickest there is!" Craw-Daddy boasted. He paused. "Now wait a minute there…"

Pikachu smirked. "Yeah, you certainly are!" He let Craw-Daddy have it with a full-force Thunder at point-blank range. Craw-Daddy howled in pain as the electricity coursed through his body. Smoking, he collapsed to the ground, his grip on Pikachu loosening and allowing the mouse to slip free. Landing on his feet, Pikachu charged up his blade again and dashed towards the Crawdaunt, ready to deal the final blow…

When, much to his surprise, one of Crawdaunt's pincers swung up, burning with Dark power, and knocked his sword out of his paw with Knock Off. The sword spun through the air and landed point-down in the ground…outside of the ring, where Pikachu couldn't get it. "Uh-oh…" said the alarmed Pikachu.

"This doesn't look good…" Ash said in concern.

"Eh, he'll be all right, dawg," Leo said unworriedly.

"Ugh…you little…punk…think I go down that easy?!" Craw-Daddy growled as he got back to his feet, snapping his pincers. "It'll take a lot more than a little ol' static shock to take me down, boy!"

"Okay. How about this, then?" Pikachu fired another Thunder at the Crawdaunt.

The lobster shielded himself with another Protect, laughing as the electricity bounced off him. "Not good enough!" One of his pincers glowed and he lunged forward with Crabhammer. Pikachu had to backflip and hop away as the Crawdaunt advanced with surprising speed, smashing his claws into the ground again and again as he tried to hit the electric mouse. Pikachu powered up another Iron Tail and swung it at the same time as Craw-daddy brought down another Crabhammer, his tail smashing into the claw and knocking it away, throwing the lobster off balance. "Gah!" he cried in surprise.

Gritting his teeth, his bones ringing from the impact of tail against pincer, Pikachu slammed into Craw-daddy's chest with a Quick Attack and hugged him as he released Thunder after Thunder into the lobster's body in an attempt to knock him out. Craw-daddy screamed in agony and collapsed again, smoke and static rising from his body. Panting, Pikachu dropped off of him. The crowd started cheering.

"Not bad, folks! Despite the handicap of losing his sword, it looks like Minus of the Fighting Four has…" the MC gasped, along with everyone else. "Wait, what's this?! Craw-daddy's not down for the count?!"

Pikachu's jaw dropped as Craw-daddy, clenching his jaw in pain, managed to pull himself up off the ground. "How the…how are you still standing?!"

"I already…ugh…told you…it'll take…a lot more'n some pretty sparks…to put me down!" Craw-daddy grunted.

"How _did_ he survive that?" asked an astounded Sasha.

"He must've used Harden just before he got zapped, to lessen the damage, yo!" Leo said. "That, or he's just hella tough, fools!"

"Who're you calling a fool?" asked an offended Ash.

"I'm not…oh, never mind," said the annoyed Leo.

"C'mon, boy…let's do this!" Craw-daddy growled. He opened his pincers and fired Bubblebeams at Pikachu's feet, causing him to yelp and hop about to avoid the bubbles. "Hahaha! Dance, mousey, dance!"

"How about _you_ dance the electric boogaloo?" Pikachu retorted, using Agility to evade the bubbles and firing a Thunderbolt at Craw-daddy.

The Crawdaunt promptly shielded himself with Protect. "Don't you ever get tired o' that ol' trick, boy?" Craw-daddy sneered.

"Don't you ever get tired of hiding behind a shield?" Pikachu taunted.

"Why, you…" Craw-daddy snarled, opening his pincers again, gathering power. Much to Pikachu's astonishment, he fired a Dark Pulse from his left pincer, and a Hyper Beam from the right, sweeping them across the stage in an attempt to catch Pikachu in an energy scissors attack of sorts. The mouse only barely managed to avoid the beams by jumping straight up and out of the way with Quick Attack at the last second before they could intersect on him.

"Wow! Two super-strong attacks at once?! Unprecedented!" cried the amazed MC. "Craw-daddy must really be giving it his all!"

"You bet I am!" Craw-daddy snapped. His pincers glowed, and he slammed them into the ground with Crabhammer, levering himself off the floor and into the air.

Pikachu sweatdropped in disbelief. "You can fly now?!"

"Close enough!" Craw-daddy growled as he reared back one claw, which started glowing ominously. With a yell, he shot straight down for Pikachu, aiming for the rodent's neck.

Realizing the Crawdaunt was using Guillotine, Pikachu quickly dashed out of the way, causing Craw-daddy to slam into the ground hard enough to crack the stage and create a large fissure which split the battlefield in two, the strength of the impact knocking Pikachu off his feet and causing him to roll head over heels and nearly fall off the edge of the ring. "Uhhh…"

"Oh, looks like you're in a little trouble there, boy! Mind if I give you a little helping hand…or should I say, claw?" Craw-daddy taunted, opening his pincer and firing Swift stars at Pikachu in an attempt to push him over the edge. Pikachu quickly got up and sprinted around the perimeter of the ring to dodge the shooting stars. He was able to run faster than the big, slow Craw-daddy could turn, so in short order he found himself behind the lobster, and fired a Thundershock at him. Craw-daddy reflexively used Protect, and Pikachu dashed towards him in a zig-zagging Quick Attack before the barrier wore off and the Crawdaunt could attack again. Craw-daddy managed to turn around completely just as Pikachu reached him, and tried to smash the mouse into a yellow smear with a twin Crabhammer. Pikachu easily leaped over the strike, landed on the lobster's head, and hit him with discharge after discharge of electric power, not giving him time to Harden or Protect or do anything else to defend himself. Craw-daddy hollered in pain and collapsed to the ground, but Pikachu, remembering what had happened the last time he had let down his guard, kept shocking him until the Crawdaunt passed out. Pikachu waited for a moment to see if he would recover, zapped him a few more times for good measure, and when he was certain that the lobster wasn't going to be getting back up anytime soon, then and only then did he relax his grip on the yellow star on Craw-daddy's head and get off the big red crustacean.

"And stay down this time," the tired mouse told Craw-daddy. The Crawdaunt didn't respond, so Pikachu felt it safe to assume that the Rogue Pokemon was out for good.

"And it looks like we have a winner, folks! Minus of the Fighting Four has…wait, what's this? Is Craw-Daddy getting back up?!" the MC cried, causing Pikachu to groan. "No, wait, never mind, false alarm. Minus is the winner! And he didn't do anything boring or sappy to win this time, either!" The crowd cheered. Pikachu waved to them wearily.

"That was a tough one," Ash commented.

Leo nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I almost thought he wasn't gonna make it a few times! 'Course, if it were _me_ he was fighting, no way dat mouse'd last a minute!"

"Yes he would," Sasha said.

Leo sweatdropped. "I'm bragging to make myself look tougher than I actually am. It's a macho guy thing. Everyone knows I'm just Taurosshitting. That's the point."

"Oh," Sasha said, not really understanding the ways of the male ego. Then again, did anyone, really?

"You did a good job," Ash said as Pikachu walked over to the team, having recovered his sword along the way.

Pikachu nodded and wiped away some sweat. "There were a few close calls back there. He was a lot stronger than I had expected. Good thing I know how to fight even without using a weapon, or I might've been in some real trouble."

"Yeah, you totally trashed him oldskool, brah!" Leo said, patting Pikachu on the back. Pikachu, nerves still a little tense from the battle, reflexively electrocuted him. "Ow…that wasn't really necessary, yo…" Leo fell over.

"Oops," Pikachu said in embarrassment as Ash snickered and Sasha rolled her eyes. "Sorry, King K."

"No problem, bro…just…don't do it again," Leo croaked as he pulled himself off. "Unless I'm wearing rubber…and not just down _there_, if you know what I mean."

"No," said a puzzled Pikachu. "What _do_ you mean?"

Leo paused. "…I'm not sure either. I was hoping you guys knew." They facefaulted.

…

A little later…

"Dude, I can't believe how much money we made from that last fight! And it's only the second day, too!" Leo said eagerly as he counted the Poke' they had won from Pikachu's fight with Craw-daddy again as they walked down the hall to their hotel room. "I can't imagine how much cash we're going to win if we make it all the way to the end of this thing! It'll be so sick! I bet I could even buy an airship or something, so we won't have to walk everywhere all the time…man, I'm getting sick of walking…"

"Walking is good for your body," Ash said.

"Yeah, but it doesn't take us anywhere fast," Leo pointed out. "We'd be able to move around much quicker if we had some kind of automated transportation, you know? It doesn't even have to be an airship; really, a regular ship would be fine too."

"Except that we would only be able to use it to travel around the coast, and would still have to walk places to reach the interior of the continent," Pikachu said.

"And would you really want to leave a boat untended in a place like Treasure Town?" Ash asked.

Leo grimaced. "Good point…"

They reached the door to their suite. Ash reached for the handle…and hesitated. "Something's wrong."

"What?" Sasha asked in concern.

Ash pressed his ear against the door. Pikachu followed suit. They listened for a moment. "Somebody's inside," Ash said finally.

Pikachu drew his sword. "And making a mess of things."

"Whuh-oh," said an alarmed Leo. "Somebody's broken in?!"

"The door does not look as if it's been forced open," Sasha commented.

"Which means it must be someone who has a key. Someone on the hotel staff must be working for Ford or the Nihilators and is searching our things for evidence that we aren't who we say we are," Pikachu said, rather tense. "Or maybe the map to the Star Badges!"

"Or they might have come in through the balcony," Leo pointed out. "Not that that makes things better or anything, just that it's an option we should consider."

Ash narrowed his eyes. "Whoever they are, if they're trying to blow our cover, then we're going to have to silence them before they tell their bosses who we really are."

Leo swallowed. "Um…by 'silence,' you mean…"

"Kill him," Sasha said. "Or her."

"Not necessarily, but probably, yeah," Ash said.

Leo sighed. "Yeah, that's what I thought…"

Ash unlocked the door with their keycard and slowly pushed it open, trying not to make a sound. Cautiously, they crept into the suite, trying not to alert their mysterious trespasser as to their presence. Ash grimaced as his eyes ran over the room; the place had been pretty thoroughly ravaged. The television had been knocked over, the pictures had been knocked off the walls, and most of the beds and furniture had been torn up or completely destroyed. Leo blanched as he saw the damage, relieved that his laptop and games were safe in his shell, and so had been spared the destruction. They froze as they passed the small kitchen area, noticing that the refrigerator was open and somebody or something was loudly rummaging through it, their figure hidden behind the fridge's door. Ash quickly formed an Aura Sphere, Pikachu charged electricity into his sword, Sasha's hackles rose, and Leo hid behind the other three. Slowly, they walked into the kitchen.

The intruder closed the door, revealing it to be a Larvitar holding a milk carton, its body covered in stains from all the other food it must have already looted from the fridge, as evident by the open boxes and splattered fruit littering the floor nearby. The Larvitar turned towards them, drinking straight from the carton…and paused when it saw it was not alone. It stared at them. They stared right back.

It screamed. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" they screamed.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" it screamed even louder, hurting their ears and causing the nearby windows to shatter. It threw the carton at them, splattering them with milk, and ran away, hiding in a nearby cabinet under the sink.

Team Aurabolt blinked in astonishment. "Wow," Pikachu said. "That little guy sure has a set of lungs on him, doesn't he?"

"What?" Ash asked, trying to clear out one ear. "I think I've gone a little deaf. Did you say something?"

"I believe it's safe to say that the egg we picked up yesterday has hatched," Sasha said, pointing out the obvious.

"Much earlier than I expected, too," said Leo. He frowned. "Did he have to make such a mess, though?"

"Babies always make messes," said Pikachu. He grimaced. "My little brother still does, for that matter…"

"It can't be healthy for a baby to stay under the sink," Leo observed. "There's all sorts of detergent and dishwashing fluid down there he could drink and die from."

Pikachu nodded in agreement. "That also sounds like my brother…"

Ash crouched to the ground and pulled open the cabinet, allowing light into the dark space and revealing the Larvitar, who was sitting between spare rolls of paper towels. The Larvitar squinted against the light, blinking furiously at Ash. The Lucario gave him a warm, encouraging smile, the same sensation he had felt when he had held the egg earlier stirring within him again. "Hi there, little guy. You don't have to stay in there. We're sorry we scared you, we were just a little surprised to see you, is all. We weren't expecting you to hatch for a while longer!" He stretched a hand out to the Rock Skin Pokemon, who stared at it blankly. "Won't you come out and say hello? We're all dying to meet you."

The Larvitar blinked…then slowly stood up and started crawling towards Ash. The Lucario smiled and pulled him out from under the sink, gritting his teeth a little (Larvitar were HEAVY Pokemon) as he dragged him out into the kitchen proper. A very small smile formed on the Larvitar's face as he got to see Ash properly. Ash smiled back…

And then Leo walked over, whistling as he got a good look at the newborn. "Wow, he's not a very little guy, is he? He's taller than I am by a foot!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" the Larvitar screamed, jerking away from Ash, running back into the cabinet, and slamming the door shut behind him.

They all blinked. Leo sweatdropped. "Uh…okay, that was odd. Do I have bad BO or something?" He sniffed under his armpits.

"What was that about?" wondered the confused Ash. "He seemed fine around me."

Sasha frowned. "Hmm…" She trotted over to the cabinet, pulled the door open with her teeth, and poked her head inside. "Hello, little one."

The Larvitar started screaming again. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

Sasha slammed the door shut. "Hmm…" She glanced at Pikachu. "You try."

"Me? Why?" asked the puzzled Pikachu.

"I have a theory," she said enigmatically.

Pikachu frowned, shrugged, and opened the door. "Hey there," he said, trying to sound friendly. "You know, I have a little brother who's actually a lot like-"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" the Larvitar screamed.

Pikachu slammed the door shut. "Okay, Pichu was never the most well-behaved baby, but he never acted like this…much…"

"Now you try," Sasha told Leo.

"Are you sure? He didn't seem to like me the last time…" Leo said skeptically.

"Give it a shot," she prompted him.

Leo shrugged. "Well, okay…" He opened the cabinet. "Hey, kidd-"

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" the Larvitar screamed.

Leo slammed the door shut. "Yikes! Geez, what's with this kid?!"

"Now you," Sasha said to Ash.

He frowned. "All right…" He opened the door. "Hi." The Larvitar stared at him quietly and did not scream. Or do anything else, for that matter.

"It's not afraid of him," Pikachu realized in astonishment.

"But why?" Leo wondered. He gasped. "Wait…Ash said earlier he felt a weird bond to that egg! Maybe that bond…I dunno…is why the kid isn't afraid of Ash? Because it feels like they're connected too?"

"I think that's it," Ash said, staring intently at the Larvitar, who stared right back. "I don't know why, but…I feel like he trusts me."

"But not the rest of us…" Pikachu murmured. "I wonder why?"

"I am afraid I do not know either," Sasha confessed. "My own cubs were very playful and social and eager to encounter new Pokemon from the moment they first hatched. This Larvitar, on the other hand…"

"Seems closed-off, reticent, and untrusting," Pikachu finished. "Not to mention that, other than screaming, he hasn't said a single word since we've met him, though admittedly it has just been a few minutes. It's still pretty odd though, since just about all baby Pokemon are able to talk—and boy, do they ever!--from the moment they hatch, possibly due to hearing their parents or other people talking around them while they're still in the eggshell. Curious. Baby Pokemon aren't usually like this, are they? I know that Pichu wasn't, and neither were any of Ash and Misty's kids…they took after their parents, actually, which is rather odd considering that none of them are related to Ash and Misty genetically."

"So…what, are we saying there's something wrong with the kid or something?" Leo asked with a frown. "Could his development have been damaged by his egg being taken away from his mom and finding its way into the paws of that hot dog vendor…or from hitting Ash in the noggin?"

"I hope not," Ash said in concern as he guided the reluctant Larvitar out from under the sink again. "I know my head's a bit hard, but not _that_ hard…"

"Hmm…" Leo took a cautious step towards the Larvitar. The larger reptile focused on him intently. Leo took another step…and the Larvitar screamed and clutched Ash's leg tightly. Leo took a step back, and the Larvitar stopped screaming and relaxed. Leo took another step forward…and the Larvitar screamed again. Leo stepped back, and the Larvitar stopped. Step, scream, back. Step, scream, back. Step, scream, back…

"Leo, cut that out," Pikachu said, a pained look on his face. "I'm starting to get a migraine from all this yelling."

"And my ankle…is starting to bruise…" Ash said through clenched teeth as the Larvitar clung a little too tightly to his leg.

"I think we can conclude that this Larvitar is not a Pokemon person…" Sasha said. "However, he seems to have bonded rather well with Ash. Again, possibly because of this strange 'connection' Ash believes that they share."

Ash nodded as he bent down to gently tug the Larvitar off of his leg. "Yeah. When I'm close to him, I can sort of…get a sense of how he's feeling. Not like Psychic mind-reading or the feelings I get from Aura-sight, but just being around him makes me feel like he…trusts me. Like he knows that I'll protect him. And for whatever reason, he doesn't feel the same way towards you guys."

"That bites…" Leo grumbled. "Guess this means I'm not going to be a godfather, huh?"

"Ash, do you know why he feels this way?" Pikachu asked.

Ash shook his head. "What I'm getting from him is pretty vague and general. I feel that he likes me and not you guys, but I can't tell why. If I could use my Aura-sight, I might be able to figure it out, but…what with this dampening field blocking it…"

"Then why don't we leave the dampening field?" Sasha suggested. "The edge of the crate is outside the field's range. I know that because I was able to use my disaster-sense to its fullest while I was waiting for you to come here. Perhaps if we were to take him there, you could read his Aura to better gauge his emotions and deeper motivations?"

"And I could scan him with my shades and see if he has any brain trauma or something that's causing him to behave this way," Leo said. "His behavior reminds me of autism…except that he's not afraid of Ash and seems to have no problem looking us in the eye. He might have something on that spectrum, though. If I got a good look at his head, I might be able to tell for sure, and then we could figure out how to deal with it."

Ash nodded. "Sounds like a good idea. Let's go!" He paused and glanced down at the Larvitar, who was hiding behind him so that Ash was between him and the others. "And we should probably try and keep him away from other Pokemon…I don't think they'll appreciate him screaming that loudly in public every time someone gets near him."

…

A little later…

After much effort, a lot of screaming, and numerous death threats and angry glares from pissed-off townsfolk who didn't appreciate a baby whose voice could break glass screaming in their ear every time they got within a foot of him (which, unfortunately, was a _lot_, given the relatively narrow width of most of the walkways in Battlus and the dense crowds on the larger platforms), the harried Team Aurabolt and their new 'friend' reached the rim of Giant Volcano's crater. The Larvitar seemed to become more relaxed as they trekked along the trail ringing the crater, far away from any other Pokemon, save for the occasional hiker or mon out for a jog. Once they reached a spot far from the prying eyes of any passerby, they sat down and got to work.

"Hmm…" Leo said as he examined the Larvitar through his sunglasses (from a safe distance, naturally).

"Well?" Ash asked nervously as he held the lizard two-thirds his height protectively. "Is there something wrong with his brain?"

"Mmm…nope, not that I can tell," Leo confessed apologetically. "According to these readings, his body's functioning perfectly normally. The operations of his brainwaves and cerebral structure are unhindered by any form of physical trauma or stunted development that I can see. He's perfectly healthy…and yet…" Leo cautiously took a step towards his 'patient.'

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" the Larvitar screamed, his shrieks echoing for miles around them and stunning some Pidgey flying nearby.

Leo quickly stepped back. "He still does that. There's no physiological reason that I can find, so whatever's wrong with him must be psychological or something else."

"Are you sure?" Pikachu asked skeptically. "Maybe we should let someone more qualified take a look at him. Like, say, Nurse Joy?"

Leo snorted. "Yeah, like the kid's gonna let her anywhere near him. I may not be the miracle healer that Joys are, but I've studied enough about Pokemon anatomy—and trust the information from my shades—to say that whatever's wrong with him isn't biological. It's something else. His vocal cords and the speech portion of his brain are in perfect order, as are all of the areas responsible for higher-end reasoning, so he's completely capable of thinking and talking with us if he wanted to…he just doesn't. I can't figure out why, though."

"I sense turmoil within him…" said Sasha. "A bitter poison of sorts rooted deep within his heart."

"A poison?!" Ash asked in alarm. "What kind of poison? Will our basic Antidote work?"

Sasha sweatdropped. "It's a metaphorical poison, not an actual one."

"Oh," Ash said, embarrassed. The Larvitar blinked a few times.

"What kind of metaphorical poison are we talking about here?" Pikachu asked.

"I cannot be certain, but I think it stems from…a memory of some kind. A trauma from his past. It is this trauma which is the source of his fear towards us and his uneasiness towards other Pokemon in general," Sasha said.

Leo nodded. "That fits with my theory…"

Ash frowned as he remembered the vision he had had the previous day. "A memory…could it be what I told you guys about earlier? How his mom was attacked by some kind of hunters and his egg was taken away from her?"

"It could be," Sasha said.

"Which would explain his distrust of others, since it's because of unfamiliar Pokemon that he was taken from his family!" Leo concluded, drawing upon what he knew of psychology from reading online journals and watching soap operas and cartoons. "And because an unfamiliar Pokemon was going to make him into a hot dog."

Pikachu frowned. "Then why does he trust Ash? Why is there a bond between them?"

Leo shrugged. "Eh, you got me there."

"I do not know either," Sasha said apologetically. "My power only lets me sense chaos and potential for disaster within others, not the reasons why they might feel at ease."

"Maybe because I was able to see his memories, he believes that I'm not like those cruel Pokemon?" Ash asked, glancing down at the Larvitar. The Rocky Skin Pokemon stared up at him blankly, neither confirming nor denying this.

"That could be," said Leo. "But how were you even able to see those memories in the first place? I mean, yeah, I guess they could have been transferred to you when he bonked you in the head yesterday, but how's that sort of thing work if you're not Psychic?"

Ash looked thoughtful. "Those who can use Aura are able to understand the hearts of others. Perhaps because I can use and perceive Aura, I was able to get a glimpse into his heart when we made contact yesterday…and that contact could also be what forged a bond between the two of us and makes him feel comfortable around me, while I feel like I have to protect him."

"I think I've heard of Aura Guardians doing things like that in the past…but bonding with a baby through head trauma?" Pikachu asked skeptically.

Ash shrugged. "Stranger things have happened to us."

"That they have," Pikachu admitted reluctantly.

"If you are indeed bonded in some manner to this child, then perhaps you will be able to not only determine whether this memory you speak of is the source of his suffering…but also, perhaps, how to alleviate it," Sasha suggested.

Ash nodded. "That's what we came up here to find out." He turned the Larvitar around and crouched down so he could look the child in the eye. He gave him a reassuring smile. "Don't worry," he said. "This should just take a second." He closed his eyes, and instantly was able to see the world through Aura-sight once more. He felt a deep sense of relief. He hadn't realized how much he had missed seeing things this way until his ability to do so had been temporarily stripped away. It was a pity that he'd have to return to being partially blind again when they returned to the stifling confines of Ford's dampening field.

"What do you see?" Pikachu asked.

Ash frowned. "His Aura's…tangled. At the moment it seems mostly stable—if not a little numb, to the point where I can barely detect any emotions coming from him at all—but his heart feels…wrong. It's all jagged and twisted and knotted there, like something important inside of him is broken."

"That doesn't sound good…" Leo said uneasily.

"Is he a Shadow Pokemon?" Pikachu asked.

Ash shook his head. "No, Shadow Pokemon don't occur naturally, so unless he was transformed into one while still in the egg, that wouldn't be possible. In any event, his Aura isn't black, so he definitely isn't one. But I can see why you might think he would be, from what I said about his heart, right? Well, the hearts of Shadow Pokemon looks very different from this Larvitar's. Their hearts are closed to the point that they're almost impossible to see, whereas this one's…" He frowned. "It's not closed so much as…walled up."

"Walled up?" Leo asked. "Who put the walls there?"

"I think he did," Ash said. "The…edges, if you could call them that, of the jagged bits around his heart are pointing outwards, as if to keep others out, rather than inward, which would imply some degree of self-loathing. That fits with how he's been behaving around you guys; his screaming must be a defense mechanism to keep others away. He fears and hates…well, everyone, I guess."

"Then why isn't he screaming around you?" Pikachu asked.

"Perhaps because of this 'connection' that somehow exists between them?" Sasha suggested. "Though we are still uncertain how it came to be…"

Ash nodded, while the Larvitar glanced at him in puzzlement, wondering why the Lucario's eyes were closed. "Yeah. I can see the bond linking the two of us. It's going from his heart to mine…interesting. It seems to be the only part of his heart that's not all messed up." He frowned and stood up, eyes still shut. "Let's try something." He took a few steps backwards from the Larvitar, who blinked at him, puzzled by why he was walking away. "Okay, somebody get close to him."

"Uh, are you sure?" Leo asked. "I mean, he doesn't seem to like that very much…"

"Right now, his Aura is showing faint signs of distress," Ash said. "In comparison to the weird numbness and placidity it had before when I was close to him. I want one of you to go over to him so I can see what his Aura looks like when he gets really agitated."

Pikachu sighed. "All right, I'll do it…" Somewhat cautiously, he approached the Larvitar. The lizard glanced from the false Minun to Ash, faint signs of anxiety appearing on its unusually blank face. Those signs grew stronger as Pikachu got closer step by step…

Until finally he got too close for comfort. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" the Larvitar screamed. Pikachu frantically backpedaled, and the Larvitar immediately shut up.

"That's really getting on my nerves," Pikachu said, wincing as his ears rang.

"Well, he may be a screamer, but at least he has an off switch," Leo pointed out.

Sasha nodded. "That's true, most infants don't have one."

"We still haven't found the one for my little brother," Pikachu admitted. "So, did this little experiment tell you anything, Ash?"

Ash nodded. "I studied the strand of Aura connecting our hearts, as well as his Aura and heart in general. His Aura started getting all shaky as you walked towards him, and when you were close enough for him to start screaming, it became as tangled and spiky as his heart is. The thing connecting us, however, grew stronger…like the one piece of him that still trusts other people, namely, me, was calling to me for help. Or something like that."

Leo scratched his head in puzzlement. "Well, that's interesting and all, but how does that help us find out how to fix him?"

"For one thing, I can see the problem using my Aura-sight, meaning there's a chance that I can correct it using Aura power," Ash explained. "And also…The fact that a bond exists between us at all…and the fact that he was able to instinctively strengthen it when he felt distress…tells me that he may be capable of manipulating Aura as well."

They exchanged startled looks. "What? How can that be possible?!" Pikachu cried.

Leo nodded. "Yeah, I thought only…no, wait, now I remember. We talked the other day about how Riolus and Lucarios were one of the only species of Pokemon that were born with the instinctive power to sense and control Aura, but for unknown reasons certain individual humans or other Pokemon are born with the ability too, right?"

Ash nodded. "That's right. I think he might be one of that very slim percentage of other Pokemon who can use Aura. I don't know all the signs yet, but I can check my book and examine him in-depth later to be sure. Maybe Aaron could give me some tips too…if I ever manage to talk to him, anyway." He made a sour face, frustrated that at long last, an experienced Aura Guardian existed who could teach him more about his powers…and he was on another continent, and the time difference and the fact that the Thunderblades didn't have a home computer and NOBODY in town had a webcamera made it difficult if not impossible to talk to the guy. They had managed to exchange a few emails already, yeah, but it wasn't quite the kind of one-on-one guidance Ash was hoping for.

"So he can use Aura…fascinating…" Sasha murmured. "Or we think he can, anyway."

"That's cool and all, but again, so what? We still don't know how to fix him," Leo said.

"That's where you're wrong," Ash said, giving the Larvitar a reassuring smile. The lizard stared at him blankly, having absolutely no idea what the older Pokemon were talking about. "I don't know if it will work, but…I think I can heal him using an Aura Purge."

Pikachu and Leo looked at Ash in surprise. "I thought you didn't know how to use that technique," said Pikachu.

"Yeah, isn't that why we weren't able to save the Tree of Beginning?" Leo asked.

"What is Aura Purge?" asked the puzzled Sasha.

"It's a special technique where an Aura-user—such as myself—unleashes a wave of positively-charged Aura into someone's body, purifying them and eradicating illnesses and foreign bodies and negative emotions and stuff like that," Ash explained. "If I use it on our friend here, it should banish the negative emotions and numbness swirling around inside of him long enough for him to realize there's more to life than that, and cause him to soften if not eradicate the walls around his heart and start trusting other people."

"Ah, I see," Sasha said.

"But once again, I thought you didn't know that move," Pikachu said.

"I didn't," Ash said. "Until a couple of days ago. Ever since what happened back at the Tree, I've been studying my book harder than ever to make sure nothing like that ever happens again. I think I've made a breakthrough, and I'm fairly certain that I can use Aura Purge now. Of course, I haven't actually tested it on anyone until now…"

They sweatdropped. "And you think a baby Pokemon is the best person to try it out on for the first time?" Pikachu asked skeptically.

"It won't hurt him," Ash assured them. "It'll make him much better, actually. Assuming it works correctly…"

"Why wouldn't it?" Pikachu asked cautiously.

Ash shrugged. "For the same reason it's not able to purify every Shadow Pokemon it's used on. Sometimes the darkness and negativity around a heart is too much for a wave of positive power to destroy. After all, Aura can't really change a heart, but it can convince the heart's _owner_ to change it. By using Purge to temporarily dissipate the Shadow Aura, a Shadow Pokemon is able to clearly see what they have been doing recently and perhaps for their entire lives with utter clarity for a split-second. If they realize that what they have become is not someone they want to be, in that moment they can choose to open their hearts to others and become normal Pokemon again. If not, then they'll still be too weak from the partial purification to be much of a threat for a while. However, if a Pokemon—both Shadow or otherwise—is unwilling to change their self-destructive ways despite their brief epiphany either due to preferring to be evil or twisted inside or because their hearts and minds are too damaged to properly understand what's happened to them and what needs to be fixed, the Purge may not be enough. When that's the case, a stronger technique is needed to save that Pokemon…"

Leo sighed. "Naturally, that means what you're about to do is going to fail and we're going to have to wait until you learn the stronger move to make the kid normal."

"We don't know that," Ash said defensively. "This could work!"

"Yeah, I bet twenty Poke' it won't," Leo said.

Pikachu frowned. "That's incredibly pessimistic."

"No, it's being genre savvy. You want in on this action?" Leo asked.

Pikachu rolled his eyes. "Yeah, sure. Fine."

"You're betting on whether or not I'm going to be able to open this kid's heart?!" Ash asked incredulously.

"Yes," Leo said.

"I won't," Sasha said. "But that's because I don't actually have any money."

Ash frowned and gave her a puzzled look. "Wait, then how'd you get here if you didn't pay a boat fare or anything?"

"Well, after I had the omen which told me I needed to come here, I hitched a ride on a migrating Waillord who had gotten separated from his pod. He took me as far as Sinnorre, and then I stowed away on an airship that carried me here," Sasha explained.

Leo blinked. "But…I thought they threw stowaways overboard."

"They do," Sasha said. "But they can't do that if they don't find you."

Pikachu sweatdropped. "We could have hidden ourselves?! Then does that mean all the crap we went through with Don Wiggly to try and get here was for nothing?!"

"Well, we _did_ get here anyway," Leo pointed out. "And we met Sam and Max, too! So it wasn't a _total_ waste of time, was it?"

Pikachu groaned. "Yep, it was for nothing, all right…"

Leo snorted. "Sez you. Anyway, twenty Poke' on Ash's success with the kid! I say he won't make it."

"And I say he will," Pikachu said stubbornly, though whether it was because he honestly believed that or because he wanted Leo to be wrong was unclear.

Ash sweatdropped. "Gee, thanks guys…glad to see you have so much faith in me…" He turned his attention back to the Larvitar, who was still staring at him. "Okay, I'm going to do something that might make you normal like the rest of us."

"Heh, he called us normal," said the amused Leo.

Ash rolled his eyes. "Just relax and close your eyes. This won't hurt a bit." The Larvitar obeyed, seeing no reason not to. Ash closed his eyes again as well, focusing on the child's Aura, and placed one paw over the Rocky Skin Pokemon's heart, and another on his forehead. He hummed as he gathered power from deep within him, causing his Aura to flicker to life around him, blue flames rising from his body. His teammates gasped in awe as the flames spread down his arms and enveloped the Larvitar, causing him to burn with the same blue flame…and, like Ash, was not burned by it. Ash felt the power of Aura swelling within his body, growing stronger and stronger to the point that he wasn't sure his thin form would be able to contain it. He fed the power by focusing on happy memories, thinking of sparring sessions in Chuck's Dojo, playing with Pichu and Junior and the other kids, being entertained by Raiki's occasionally ridiculous antics, and in general hanging out and going on adventures with Pikachu, his brother and best friend.

He thought of his other friends as well, the reserve members of Team Aurabolt back home, all his many friends and neighbors who lived in the tightly-knit community of Pokemon Square, of Gary and Team Nightshade and Gardevoir and…

Misty. It was inevitable that he thought of her. She was one of his closest friends, after all (and NOT his girlfriend, no matter what anyone else said!). He remembered how she had once been cold and antisocial much like the Larvitar was, but how, with effort, he had managed to get her to lower her defenses and reveal the wonderful Pokemon buried deep within. With any luck, he would be able to repeat that transformation today.

He quickly buried any of the worries and anxieties attached to the friends he was thinking of, not wanting his fears for their current condition to corrupt the positive emotions he was attempting to muster. When he felt that the energy he was gathering had reached its limit, he inhaled deeply and _forced_ the power mustered from his happy memories through his arms and into the Larvitar's body. The Larvitar gasped, his eyes flying open and his pupils shrinking as waves of energy rocked through his form, causing his small frame to shake considerably. Ash grunted and kept pouring on the juice, trying to banish all the fear and doubt within the child with feelings of hope and trust and friendship.

The Aura blazed brighter around them, much to the awe and wonder of their friends. Leo took a picture. "Cooool."

"Yeah," Pikachu murmured, eyes wide.

"Incredible…" Sasha whispered.

Having used up all his energy doing the Purge, Ash gasped and bent over, pressing his paws to the ground to stabilize himself as he tried to regain his breath, his Aura fading away from him. The Larvitar's continued burning brightly, however, as the positive energy Ash had charged him with filled every atom of his being. A radiant smile formed on his face, and his Aura beamed outward with joy, causing Ash to smile triumphantly…

And then Larvitar frowned. The blue flames instantly faded away, his Aura returned to its original 'neutral' setting, and the spikes around his heart reformed, possibly thicker than before. Ash swore loudly. "Dammit!"

"Pay up," Leo said to Pikachu, who sighed and handed him twenty Poke'.

"What happened?" Sasha asked Ash. "It looked as if it was working."

"It _was_," Ash said. "But his fear and distrust are too strong. I'm going to need something more powerful than an Aura Purge to fully open his heart." He sighed. "Guess I'm gonna have to hit the book again…"

"Or we could take him to the legendary Barney Stone," Leo suggested.

"The what now?" Pikachu asked.

"The Barney Stone! It's a rock at the top of Barney Castle in Oireland, off the coast of the continent of Ameroupe," Leo explained. "According to myth, whoever kisses the stone is blessed with the gift of gab and eloquence, even Pokemon who were born mute or haven't spoken in years! Though sometimes they wind up doing nothing but singing about a purple dinosaur for some reason…" The others sweatdropped.

"Yeah, I think I'll just stick to studying Aura," Ash said. He grimaced. "That's gonna be fun…and until then, Tiny will stay silent--unless anyone gets too close--surrounding himself with walls of fear, distrust, and hatred towards pretty much everyone."

"Look at the bright side," Pikachu said; trying to do the same thing, especially since Leo had been proven right again and he was out twenty Poke'. "He still trusts you, right?"

Ash nodded as he leaned towards the Larvitar to apologize for failing him. "Yeah, I guess-" The Larvitar flinched away from Ash. He didn't scream, he didn't run away, he just flinched. Ash's heart broke. "Not…" he finished, crestfallen.

"…Well, dang. That sucks," Leo said.

"What's wrong now?!" Pikachu asked in exasperation.

"The Larvitar did not like what Ash was doing to him. Now he's not sure Ash can be trusted," Sasha guessed.

Pikachu groaned. "Oh, that's just great…"

Ash trembled, trying not to lose control of himself. "I'm sorry if I hurt you," he whispered quietly to the Larvitar. "I was only trying to help. I just…I just wanted you to be happy. The way you are now isn't healthy for a Pokemon. All closed up and miserable and alone…that's not the way anyone should live. I was just trying to open your heart. I'm sorry if that's not what you wanted…and that it failed." The Larvitar just stared at him blankly. Ash continued. "Whether that's why you're upset—because I tried to change you, or because it didn't work—I'm sorry. I promise that…that I won't do anything like that to you again. Not unless I'm sure that it will work…or that you want it as much as I do. Because nobody should be forced to change against their will. To change or to stay the same…it's your choice, just like it always should have been. I shouldn't have tried to do it without your permission. It won't happen again, unless, like I said, it's what you want. Okay?" The Larvitar didn't say anything, but Ash didn't really expect him to. Cautiously, he leaned towards the lizard again, and when the Larvitar didn't flinch, he hugged the baby Pokemon, sighing heavily with relief. "Thank you for giving me another chance," he said. "I promise I won't let you down."

Leo blinked, somewhat perplexed by the one-sided exchange. "Uh, how did Ash know that that was how the kid felt?"

"They are connected, remember? He must have sensed the source of the child's unhappiness through their bond," Sasha said.

Pikachu shook his head. "It's more than that. He's a good parent. He doesn't need a mystical bond to know what his children need. That's why his kids love him…and part of why we do, too."

"You know, we're going to need to give you a name," Ash said, letting go of the Larvitar. "We can't just keep calling you 'kid' or 'that Larvitar.' Since I'm the only Pokemon you seem to like, I guess I'm the one who should decide what to call you."

"Ooh! Ooh! Call him Gargantua!" Leo suggested. They all stared at him. "What? He's gonna evolve into a giant reptilian monster powerful enough to level cities, or at least small towns, isn't he?"

"Leo, no names," Pikachu said sternly.

"But I stayed up half the night looking up good ones online!" Leo protested.

"I don't care. It's Ash who should come up with the name, not us," Pikachu said.

"I think I'm gonna call you…Tiny!" Ash declared after a moment's thought. The newly christened Larvitar blinked.

Leo sweatdropped. "'Tiny' is better than Gargantua?!"

"I never said Ash was good at names…" Pikachu said, somewhat embarrassed.

"You _do_ realize that 'Tiny' will one day grow to become a very, very large Pokemon?" Sasha asked cautiously.

Ash nodded. "Yeah, I know. That's why I picked that name! It's ironic!"

Leo facepalmed. "Wonderful. He thinks he has a grasp of irony…I wonder how many people will pick on the poor kid for having a name like that?"

"When he gets big enough, I doubt anyone will say anything like that to his face," Pikachu pointed out.

"Tiny it is, then!" Ash said proudly. He paused. "Uh, unless you already have a name, or would prefer something else?" The Larvitar stared at him blankly. "I'll take that as a no, then. From this point forward, your name is Tiny!"

"Yay," said Leo. "Can we get something to eat now? I'm hungry. Tiny might be, too."

"After cleaning out half our fridge? I highly doubt that," Pikachu said.

"Aren't babies always hungry?" Leo asked.

"It depends on the baby," Sasha said. "Some of my offspring refused to eat for days when they were younger, no matter what my mate or I tried. It was very worrying."

They all looked at her in surprise. "You're married?!" asked an astonished Ash.

"Mated. And yes," Sasha said.

"You never told us that before," Pikachu said.

Sasha shrugged. "It never seemed relevant to bring up."

"Is he still alive, or…" Leo asked awkwardly.

"He was the last time I saw him, which was about a week or so ago, when I told him I was going to Sinnorre to try and save the world," Sasha said.

"And he was okay with that?" Ash asked.

Sasha smiled. "He understood that these things happen. And in any event, even if he weren't okay with it, there wasn't a lot he could do. Female Absol are the dominant partners in mated couples."

"Oh, just like you and Misty then, Ash," Pikachu said.

Ash's face turned red. "SHE IS NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!"

"That's what I said when my mate started courting me. It didn't last long," Sasha said.

"Wait, your mate is a girl?" Leo asked. "I thought you just said it was a guy."

Sasha sweatdropped. "Er, I mean that's _essentially_ what I said. Except with the gender reversed. And I was saying he wasn't my mate, not that he wasn't my boyfriend, since that's not really a term we use out in the wild."

"Ah," said Leo.

"Leo has a point, I probably could use a bite to eat," Pikachu said. "We'll have to go to a restaurant or something since the hotel staff is still probably fixing the damage Tiny did to our room." He grimaced. "Yeah, taking a kid with Pokepophobia into a crowded, noisy city…this is gonna be fun…"

"Before we do that, there's one other thing I think we should do," Ash said.

"What's that?" asked Pikachu.

"Go see Ford about letting Tiny join our team!" Ash said.

They gave him somewhat incredulous looks. "You still want to do that?!" Leo cried.

"Are you sure that is a good idea? He just hatched a few hours ago," Sasha said.

"Ash, we don't even know if he can take a hit, let alone fight!" Pikachu protested.

"He's already shown us he's pretty good at Screech. If he just screams like that every time someone tries to attack him, I doubt anyone will be able to land a hit," Ash pointed out. "Plus, we'll make sure to protect him. I'll take full responsibility for his safety."

"I don't know…" Pikachu said skeptically.

"And besides, what else can we do with him?" Ash asked. "We can't just leave him in the room every time we go out to fight. You already saw what happened the last time he was left unattended…"

Pikachu grimaced. "Good point. He's not exactly housebroken."

"Dude, what he did on my bed was totally uncalled for…" Leo grumbled.

"I doubt the hotel people will be happy if he keeps tearing up the place, so we'll have to take him with us," Ash reasoned. "It might not be entirely safe, but at least we can keep an eye on him."

Pikachu sighed. "I suppose so…"

"Do you think Ford will allow Tiny to fight alongside us?" Sasha asked.

Ash shrugged. "I don't see why not."

…

A little later, at Mt. Battle…

"Absolutely not," Ford said firmly, arms crossed over his chest as he glared at the Fighting Four and their prospective recruit from behind his desk.

"What?!" Ash cried, not having expected this reply. "Why not?!"

"Two reasons," Ford said, holding up one finger. "One, you've already signed up for the tournament as the Fighting _Four_. To add a fifth member to your team would make you the Fighting _Five_, unless you swapped one of your other members out, but either way it would be a breach of the contract you signed when you entered the tournament. And breaking said written agreement would mean I would be legally obligated to kick you out of Mt. Battle, never to return."

"He has a point, dawg," Leo said. "I think I saw somethin' like that in the contract when he gave it to us earlier, yo."

"Then why didn't you mention that part before?!" Pikachu asked.

Leo shrugged. "I forgot, yo. Fo'real."

"Second reason," Ford said, holding up another finger. "If what you've told me is true, that kid is only a few hours old. I can't allow minors to fight in the ring! Do you have any idea how much flak I'd get from the media and parents who watch my games? The Society for Fair Treatment of Young Pokemon would have my head on a platter, and yours too for even thinking about entering someone so young into something as dangerous as my tournament!" Ash fidgeted, suddenly feeling a little guilty for including Junior and the other kids in Team Aurabolt back when they had only been a few days old.

"Then what exactly are we supposed to do with him?" Pikachu asked, trying to sound reasonable. "We can't leave him at our hotel room by himself, he's not housebroken—yet—and he made a big mess of the place when he first hatched. There's no guarantee that he won't do it again if left alone for too long. We can't leave him with a sitter or your daycare facility—why do you even have a daycare facility, anyway?—since he seems to be incredibly antisocial and reacts violently to anyone who isn't Ash, whom he seems to have imprinted on somehow."

Ford frowned. "Exactly how antisocial is he?"

"Watch this, yo," Leo said. He took a few steps towards Tiny, who was sitting on the floor of Ford's office with a blank look on his face. "Hey, little brutha-"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Tiny screamed, causing the windows to shatter, along with the glass cases holding Ford's trophies, the covers of some of his framed photographs, and Ford and May's glasses.

"Ah," said Ford. "That's very antisocial. Could someone pick up that phone, please?"

"There is no phone, sir, your ears are ringing," May said. "Does 'Tiny' do that often?"

"Whenever someone who isn't me gets anywhere near him," Ash said. "He may also scream if I leave him all by himself, we haven't tried that yet."

"I see…" May muttered.

"We _could_ try, if you wanted," Sasha suggested innocently. "Though even if he doesn't scream, as we said before there may be a problem with our hotel, seeing as he has yet to be housebroken and has no problem making large messes when unattended…like when he hatched this morning, and nobody was there to stop him from wrecking everything. But we could try again, perhaps he has learnt by now not to do it again?"

"Ah, no, no, that won't be necessary," Ford said quickly, getting a replacement set of sunglasses from a desk drawer. "Especially seeing as _I'm_ the one who's footing the bill for all the rooms used by the participants of my tournament…hmm, let me think a moment." He leaned back in his chair, doing just that. He frowned, a thought occurring to him, and he glanced at Ash. "If I remember right—and I do, thanks to security cameras all over town—you got this egg after a pair of odd Pokemon claiming to be 'freelance police' blew up a hot dog vendor for trying to sell eggs on hot dogs—an utter abomination, I concur—and the egg he was using hit Gonzales in the head, correct?"

Ash nodded. "That's right."

"Why didn't you go to the Pokemon Center after taking such a blow?" May asked.

Leo laughed. "Ha! This mofo here's taken worse blows to the head than that!"

Ash nodded. "Yeah, it only knocked me out for a little while. A minor inconvenience, nothing worth seeing Nurse Joy about."

Ford nodded. "Fair enough. Answer me this, then…after you recovered, why did you keep the egg?"

Ash blinked. "Huh?"

"Why'd you keep the egg, instead of giving it away for adoption, like any sensible individual would have?" Ford asked.

Ash hesitated. "Well…we saved it from being eaten, sort of, so I figured it was my responsibility to take care of it."

Ford frowned. "Is that so? That doesn't sound like you, Gonzales. I thought you were the kind of mon who sowed his seed broadly and paid little attention to what springs up from the fertile soil you've planted in."

Ash gave him a confused look. "Uh, I'm not into gardening, sir." Leo and Pikachu facepalmed and Sasha rolled her eyes.

"He's talking about the dozen or so illegitimate offspring you have all over the place," Pikachu said. "You know, the ones from all those one-night stands?"

Ash blinked. "Oh. OH! Right. Those. Yeah, I have tons of kids who I never see or give a crap about. Yeah."

Ford raised an eyebrow. "If that's the case, then why exactly do you feel so eager to take care of this kid, if you don't even give a crap about your actual biological offspring?"

Ash froze, realizing he had walked right into a trap. Crap. He was terrible at lying, something about it always made him feel awful for some reason. Thinking quickly, he told Ford the truth, or part of it anyway. "Because this kid has potential."

Ford frowned. "Potential?"

"When Larvitar reach their final stage of evolution, they become one of the strongest non-legendary Pokemon in existence," Ash said. "I figured if I kept the kid and trained him, I could raise him to be a powerful fighter and make our team almost unstoppable."

Ford nodded slowly. "I see…yeah, that makes sense. But…how did you know the egg would hatch into a Larvitar, back when you got it yesterday?"

Ash hesitated. "Uh…"

"We looked it up somewhere," Pikachu said. "To help us decide whether to keep the egg or give it away."

"Oh, all right then," Ford said, mollified. "Well, I can appreciate why you might want to hold onto a future fighter as powerful as this little guy could become…although that odd screaming habit of his is kind of a pain."

"We're going to try and cure him of that," Sasha said.

"Okay," Ford said. "But in the meantime…hmm…okay, I think I have an idea."

"Yeah?" said Ash.

"Since we're not sure what'll happen if the kid's separated from you, and since he can't abide for anyone but you to come near him…here's what we're going to do," Ford said. "I can't let you take the kid into the ring and fight with you. However, he can sit on the sidelines and watch the match. That way, he'll still be pretty close to you, and while there'll be tons of other Pokemon around, none of them should be near enough to trigger his screaming fits."

"That's a great idea," said an impressed Pikachu.

"Yeah, I think we could work with that," said a relieved Ash. "Can't we, Tiny?" Tiny just stared at him blankly. "I'll take that as a yes."

"No wonder you're the head mofo of this place, dawg!" Leo said.

Ford chuckled. "Why thank you, King K. However, I must warn you; this little favor comes with a catch. If that kid of yours becomes too much of a problem and his screaming starts interfering with your matches, then I will have no choice but to remove him from the building…and if that causes even _more_ problems, I'm gonna have to boot you from the tournament. I'm holding you responsible for his actions, so if he becomes too much of a handful, you'll all pay the consequences. Do I make myself clear?"

The team nodded. "We understand perfectly, sir," Ash said.

"We will try to make sure Tiny stays well-behaved," Sasha assured the Blaziken.

Ford nodded. "Good, good…now, if our business is concluded, I'd like to ask you to leave. Miss Maple and I have important business to discuss."

"Ooh, what kind of business, g?" Leo asked.

"The kind that's none of yours," Ford said brusquely, pressing a button on his desk. The office door opened and the scarily silent suited Feraligatr entered the room. "My associate here will see you out. Remember that you've got another match in a few hours, so I advise you to make all the preparations you can to ensure that your junior member there won't be a problem."

"We'll do that," Pikachu said. Their crocodilian escort led them from the office.

Ford swiveled in his chair to face May. "Now, Miss Maple…what is it that you needed to discuss with me?"

May frowned, her expression very serious. "There's been another disappearance, sir. A Delibird by the name of Andy…"

…

A few hours later…

After leaving Mt. Battle, the team returned to their hotel room, which thankfully had been repaired by then. They waited there for a while, but received no new messages from their mysterious informant, so just hung out and prepared for their next match. When the appointed hour rolled down, they headed for the arena…but not after making a few…'adjustments' to Tiny.

"That should keep him from screaming and getting us kicked out of the tournament!" Leo said proudly as Tiny sucked on a pacifier he had just happened to be carrying around.

"Leo, why were you carrying a pacifier in your shell?" Ash asked.

"For just such an occasion!" Leo said proudly.

Pikachu sweatdropped. "…You were expecting to need something to quiet a loud-mouthed baby Pokemon?"

"Yep!" Leo said.

"Then why didn't you give it to him before now?!" Pikachu demanded.

"I forgot I had it," Leo said. "Do you have any idea how much crap I've got in this shell? I'm so crazy prepared, even _I'm_ not sure what I have stored in case of emergencies!"

"How do you fit it all in there?" Sasha marveled.

"This thing is surprisingly roomy," Leo said, patting his shell fondly.

"Did you bring that child-sized cheerleading outfit in case of emergencies too?" Ash asked, indicating the brightly-colored cheerleading outfit they had somehow managed to force Tiny into.

Leo paused. "Actually, I'm not sure where that one came from…" They sweatdropped.

With their rather silent cheerleader in tow, the disguised Team Aurabolt departed for their designated arena in Mt. Battle. The waiting audience cheered when they entered the arena, many of the Pokemon present having started to take a liking to the newcomers to the ring. That didn't mean lots of people weren't still betting against them, though, as the growing takes they were receiving from losing gamblers alongside their reward money for finishing each match indicated. Ash couldn't help feeling mildly offended that so many people were hoping they'd lose, but Pikachu told him it wasn't anything they really had control over.

"Ladies and gentlemon, let's give a warm welcome to our favorite fearsome foursome, the Fighting Four! And their new tagalong…who is this strange young Larvitar? And doesn't he look absolutely adorable in that little outfit?!" the MC cried as Ash put Tiny on one of the benches reserved for defeated fighters or extra team members sitting just outside of the ring.

"Awwww," the crowd cooed.

Ash sweatdropped. Tiny blinked. "I guess it's true what they say, everything is better with babies!" Leo commented. "Yo."

Sasha nodded in agreement. "Indeed, the more you have, the likelier it is that your lineage will continue."

Leo frowned. "That wasn't exactly what I meant, ho."

Sasha frowned. "Why do you keep calling me that?"

"What, would you rather I called you a bitch, bitch?" Leo asked, somewhat annoyed.

"Why yes, thank you King K," Sasha said, flattered. "That's very sweet of you to say."

Leo blinked. "Huh?"

"She's a canine. I think. Female canines are called bitches," Pikachu whispered to Leo. "So for them, someone saying they're a real bitch is a compliment."

"Oh, right," said Leo.

"Tiny, I need you to listen to me carefully," Ash said calmly to Tiny, who stared up at him while sucking on his pacifier. "My friends and I are going to go onto that platform over there and fight some other Pokemon. We might get hurt, but it's nothing to worry about, we've probably had worse. So even if it looks like we aren't doing so well, I want you to be a brave Larvitar and stay right here, okay? If you come to try and help us, you'll only get hurt, and we could all be in trouble."

"And if you could please refrain from screaming, that would also be nice," Pikachu said from a safe distance.

"Yeah, what he said," Ash said.

Larvitar blinked and sucked a little harder on his pacifier, but other than that showed no indication he had heard Ash's request. "You know, for some reason he reminds me of the baby from this one show I watch," Leo said wistfully as they turned to head for the ring.

"You mean the Sampsons?" Pikachu asked.

"Oh, you watch it too?!" Leo said excitedly.

"Not willingly," Pikachu grunted. "It's one of my dad and little brother's favorite shows for some reason. I don't really see the appeal."

"Neither do I," said Ash. "But that's because most of the jokes go over my head."

"Who are the Sampsons?" the puzzled Sasha asked.

"This really popular long-running cartoon about a very dysfunctional family of oddly-colored humans living in a town called Springburg," Leo said. "Pretty much every member of the family, and everyone in town, has some severe problem that in any other circumstances would be tragic, but in the frame of the show is utterly hilarious."

"Oh," said Sasha, not really getting it.

"I'm sure we could find it on TV somewhere after we're done here," Leo said. "Or online, if you're interested."

"We'll see…" Sasha murmured noncommittally.

As they stepped into the ring, the MC announced the arrival of their competition. "The Fighting Four's opponents for tonight are the Bells of Doom, the Bronze Bruisers, the Bringers of the Harvest of _Pain_, the mighty Bronzong Brothers!" The crowd cheered as a pair of Bronzong levitated into the ring.

Pikachu grimaced. "Great, more Psychics…"

"At least these ones won't have Miracle Eye," Sasha said. "So I'll still be immune to most of their attacks."

"Yeah, but they won't be especially weak to yours, due to their Steel-type," Ash pointed out. "And they have pretty high defenses as a whole, so they may be tough to scratch."

"Too bad none of us know Fire moves, yo, or we'd be able to burn call signs into these suckas' hides!" Leo lamented.

"Even if you did have Fire moves, you wouldn't be able to melt us," one of the Brothers, his bronze skin painted red, named Dotaku boasted. "We're Heatproof!"

"And aside from that, we've trained ourselves to the point where almost nothing can break through our Iron Defenses!" the other Brother, Dondon, his skin a natural shiny green, informed Team Aurabolt.

Ash smirked. "No defense is completely unbreakable!"

"Heh, that's what you think," Dotaku chuckled.

"What happens when unstoppable force acts against an immovable object? We may be about to find out, folks!" the MC said. "On the count of 3, both teams may begin fighting! THREE!"

"We're so confident in our defensive power, we'll give you the chance to attack first," Dotaku said.

"But don't think we'll just be sitting here quietly while you futilely waste your strength, either!" Dondon warned them. The Brothers clasped their hands in front of them and started humming, their bell-shaped bodies surrounded by a pink glow.

"They're using Calm Mind to boost their attack power!" Sasha realized.

"And they're letting us have the first move…they're either really stupid…or really strong…." Pikachu murmured.

"Then let's show them we're strong, too! Hit them with our best shot!" Ash decided. He formed his Bone Rush staff. "GO!"

They charged towards the Bronzongs. Well, Ash, Pikachu, and Sasha charged, Leo used Dig, figuring that if the Bronzong were Heatproof, then that meant they must still be affected by Ground-type moves. Sasha hit Dotaku with Night Slash at the same time as Leo burst out from the ground to attack the bell from below, while Ash and Pikachu struck Dondon with their staff and sword. Normally, such a combo would have taken the duo out, or at least dealt some serious damage…

Unfortunately, the Brothers were not normal opponents. "My claws!" Sasha cried in pain as she drew her paw back, her immaculate black claws broken.

"Ow…my head…" Leo moaned as he fell back into his hole, rubbing his head in pain.

"I don't think that was supposed to happen," Ash said, looking at his broken staff.

Pikachu winced as he examined his sword, which was unbroken, but had gotten a rather bad notch in its edge. "This isn't good…"

"It certainly isn't," Dotaku said as his glow reached its peak.

"Not for you, anyway!" Dondon commented. The Bronzongs flipped horizontally so their hollow bottoms faced the group. Bright white Flash Cannon beams charged up and fired from their innards.

"Look out!" Ash fired his own Flash Cannon in an attempt to stave off the Brothers' attacks. The three beams collided halfway between the two teams, the twin beams from the Bronzongs pushing against Ash's own. Ash struggled to pump as much power into his cannon as possible, but the Bronzongs had had the advantage of charging up their attack beforehand, and there were two of them, so they easily began to overwhelm Ash's beam as they pressed in on its sender.

"_You_ look out!" Pikachu said as he fired a Thunderbolt at the point where the three beams clashed, lending his power to try and hold back the Brothers' assault.

"Yeah, we can take care of ourselves, fool! No need to always be lookin' out for us, ya know what I mean?!" Leo asked, firing an Ice Beam. The three combined attacks managed to slow down the approaching Flash Cannons, but the Steel-type beams were still steadily encroaching on them.

Sasha's eyes flashed, and then she jumped above her teammates and threw Psycho Cut and Razor Wind blades at the Brothers. Much to her alarm, the blades ricocheted off their bronze shells with zero visible damage. "My attacks can't even touch them!"

"Can't you use that copy move of yours to help?" Ash asked; sweat rolling down his body as he struggled to pour enough power into his Flash Cannon to hold back the Brothers' twin beams.

"It only works if I use it before my target attacks!" Sash said. "But perhaps…." She ran around her friends and alongside the Flash Cannons, heading towards the Brothers. Since they were focusing all their power against her teammates, they couldn't waste any energy on her. She lunged at Dondon, slamming into the Bronzong with all her might in an attempt to throw off his aim and lessen the power being hurled at Ash, Pikachu, and Leo.

She cried out in pain as she recoiled from Dondon, stars flashing before her eyes and her shoulder throbbing agonizingly. The Bronzong was harder than anything she had ever struck before. The very act of hitting him had nearly cracked her skull and dislodged her shoulder, and she hadn't even managed to budge him by an inch! She was starting to wonder if their boasts of an impervious defense had been more than just hollow bragging.

Seeing Sasha's failure, Leo's mind raced as he tried to come up with a solution to their dilemma. Suddenly getting an idea, Leo stopped shooting his Ice Beam, causing the twin Flash Cannons to surge forward. "King K! What are you doing?!" Ash cried in alarm.

"Saving our asses!" Leo cried as he started digging at the ground.

The twin beams continued pushing forward, overpowering Ash and Pikachu's attempts at a defense and smashing into them with a tremendous explosion. Sasha gasped. "NO!"

"Oh, and it looks like three of the Fighting Four are out of the game! There's no way they could have possibly survived that, folks!" the MC cried as a cloud of smoke engulfed the ground where the trio had been standing. He was forced to change his opinion, however, when the cloud faded, revealing a large hole in the ground, and no sign of Ash, Leo, or Pikachu anywhere! The crowd gasped. "What's this?!"

"Hey! Where'd they go?!" Dotaku asked angrily.

"They must've Dug underground just before our attack hit!" Dondon realized, glancing around. "They're probably somewhere underneath us right now!"

"Not _all_ of them…" Dotaku growled, turning to Sasha, who snarled and raised her hackles. She needn't have bothered, a hole abruptly opened right underneath her, causing her to fall beneath the stage. "Aw, dammit…"

Ash's head popped out of the ground behind them. "Hey ugly, bet you can't hit me!"

"Who are you calling ugly?!" Dondon demanded, swinging a fist at the Lucario only for him to vanish back underground before he could hit him.

"Hey faceless, you need to work on your aim!" Leo shouted, popping out of the ground somewhere else.

"We do too have faces, they're just hard to see!" Dotaku growled, trying to smash the turtle's head in. Leo ducked back underground before it could hit him.

"You'll have to try harder than that to hit us," Pikachu said, popping up briefly before jumping underground again.

"We're very hard to get, you see," Sasha said, appearing somewhere else before disappearing just as quickly.

The Brothers growled and hovered back to back as the heads of the Fighting Four kept appearing from various holes that formed all over the stage and retracting just as quickly, making it impossible to get a bead on any of them and starting to confuse the Bronzongs. "What are they, Digletts or something?!" Dotaku asked incredulously.

"They may think they're pretty clever by playing 'Whack a Diglett,'" Dondon growled. "But there's one thing they didn't count on…we know Earthquake!" The Brothers levitated into the air and slammed down hard on the floor, releasing a shockwave which shook the arena and shattered the stage into jagged, uneven pieces.

The seismic upheaval launched the startled members of Team Aurabolt from the holes they had been hiding in, putting them right where the Bronzong Brothers wanted them. "Gotcha!" Dotaku said, ensnaring Ash and Pikachu with Psychic.

"You can't escape now!" Dondon said, using the same move to hold Leo in the air.

"Aw, crap!" Leo yelled.

"I can't move my body!" Pikachu cried.

"I'm starting to hate Psychic attacks…" Ash groaned.

"You forgot about me," Sasha snarled as she landed on one of the broken slabs making up what was left of the ring.

"No we didn't," said Dotaku.

"We're ignoring you because there really isn't anything you can do to stop us, and once we're finished with your friends, we'll deal with you," Dondon said.

Sasha smirked. "Nothing I can do to you, huh? You might want to rethink that opinion!"

On cue, there was a sudden gust of wind, and the massive Future Sight energy ball she had called for a few minutes ago appeared, slamming into the Brothers from behind and exploding with tremendous force…

Which didn't break their concentration or damage them in the slightest. Sasha's jaw dropped in astonishment. "Wh-what?!"

"How is that possible?! I know Bronzong are supposed to be tough, but not _this _tough!" Pikachu cried.

"Yeah, that's cheating, yo!" Leo agreed.

"It's not cheating to train yourself to the point where little if anything can hurt you, is it?" Dotaku retorted.

"We've worked so hard on boosting our defensive abilities that it would probably not be bragging to say nothing in this world can damage us!" Dondon said.

Ash sweatdropped. "Wonderful…"

"And now to win this match," Dotaku said, using Psychic to fling Ash and Pikachu away.

"No!" Sasha cried, quickly running after her friends, bounding among the broken slabs and outcroppings of the shattered battlefield as easily as if she were back in her steep and mountainous homeland.

"Stop her!" Dotaku cried.

"No problem," Dondon said, telekinetically hurling Leo at Sasha.

"Waaaahhhh! Not this agaaaaiiiiin!" the Squirtle yelled as he was thrown through the air at his teammate. Sasha quickly used Double Team to make it appear as if there were a dozen of her rushing for the edge of the ring rather than just one, and Leo wound up passing right through one of her illusions and slamming head-first into a rather hard rock. "Ow…not this again, either…"

Growling in frustration, Dondon flipped over and fired a Flash Cannon at Sasha, sweeping it through all the illusions in an attempt to knock out the true Absol. The real Sasha jumped just before she could get hit by the beam, soaring through the air and off the edge of the ring, heading right for Ash and Pikachu, who were on a collision course with a wall. She managed to grab Pikachu's tail in her teeth (Ash, sadly, was too far away) and twisted herself about in midair to fling the samurai back within the boundaries of the stage. There was no way she could save Ash and herself, unfortunately, but at least this way their team still had a chance of winning the match.

That chance grew stronger as Leo, thinking quickly—and no longer immobilized by Psychic—fired an Ice Beam at the wall Sasha and Ash were shooting towards to create a solid patch of ice, spat a Bubblebeam at it, then fired an Ice Beam at the bubbles so that they were frozen solid. Several of the bubbles smashed upon impact with the ice patch, but others were strong enough to rebound off and smack into Sasha, reversing her flight and knocking her back into the ring. Ash was not so lucky and slammed face-first into the wall right beside the ice. "Uhhhh…" He slid down the wall and collapsed backwards onto the floor. Tiny blinked and stared at the Lucario, sucking rapidly on his pacifier.

The audience gasped. "Oh, that looked painful! It seems that Gonzales is out of the match, folks! After all, once a fighter sets foot on the floor—or wall—outside the ring, he is automatically disqualified! Though I suppose the fact that he seems to have lost consciousness doesn't help matters. But at least the rest of the Fighting Four are still in the game, thanks to some quick thinking from Night Slash and King K!"

"That was a very clever move, King K," Sasha complimented the Squirtle. "Thank you."

Leo smirked. "Heh, well, what did you expect from a playa like myself?"

"Yes, very clever…now why didn't you save Gonzales, too?!" Pikachu demanded.

Leo sweatdropped. "Hey, it's not my fault he missed, dawg!"

"_He_ missed?!" Pikachu cried incredulously.

"Yeah, he totally missed my chillin' ice!" Leo insisted. "If he hadn't been so far to the side, he might've gotten blasted back into the ring too! It's totally his fault, yo. It's always a pity when a brutha falls victim to the Worf Effect. Hope that doesn't happen too often in the future, or Gonzales will lose serious street cred." Pikachu's eye twitched.

"What is the Worf Effect?" Sasha asked.

"Where the ostensibly most powerful member of a group is taken out instantly by a villain, establishing that villain as a bad mofo," Leo explained. "If it happens too much and the rest of the team is still able to take out the bad guys pretty easily despite the 'strongest' being removed from the game, then that team member starts looking like a wannabe and suffers serious badass decay."

"Ah," said Sasha, only partially understanding that. "Then let us hope that does not happen to Ash in the future."

"That's what I said!" Leo said.

"That was a pretty impressive move," Dotaku grudgingly told the three remaining fighters as they floated over.

"Yes, too bad it was a complete waste of time, since we're just going to do it all over again," Dondon said as he prepared to use Psychic…

Only for Sasha, who had expected him to do this, to preempt him with Me First, pulling off a Psychic of her own and grabbing the Bronzong with her mind. Unused to using such ability and the exertion required to hold something as heavy as the Bronze Bell, she grunted and swung the startled Dondon into his brother. The two collided with a great clash, their metal bodies ringing loudly upon impact and causing everyone in the arena to flinch and cover their ears. Tiny probably would have wailed, except that he still had his pacifier in his mouth, and didn't really want to spit it out, he liked sucking on it.

Pikachu winced and massaged his ears. "Great, at this rate I'm going to go deaf, considering how often very loud noises have been happening around me today…"

"WHAT?" Leo shouted. "I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"

"I said at this rate I'm going to go deaf!" Pikachu yelled.

"WHAT?" Leo shouted.

"I SAID AT THIS RATE I'M GOING TO GO DEAF!" Pikachu shouted.

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU; I THINK I'M GOING DEAF!" Leo shouted back. Pikachu facepalmed.

"Ohhhh…that was unpleasant…" Dondon moaned as he wobbled away from his brother, still vibrating and ringing slightly.

"Yes…that felt…uncomfortable…" Dotaku groaned, rubbing his chest. He hesitated, noticing a small crack in his surface that had not been there before. "Wait…that felt…but…how? _How?!"_

The other three were just as surprised. "They got damaged that time? But why?" wondered the puzzled Sasha.

Pikachu snapped his fingers. "That's it! They're so tough that they're invincible to just about anything, right? Which means the only thing that could possibly damage them is _each other_, since nothing else could possibly be hard enough! Well, nothing available to us, anyway!"

"WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU," Leo shouted. "BUT I THINK THAT THEY GOT HURT BECAUSE THEY'RE SO HARD THAT THEY'RE THE ONLY THINGS THAT CAN DAMAGE EACH OTHER!...YO!"

Pikachu sweatdropped. "Why are you deafened, anyway? I'm the one with the big, long, sensitive ears!"

"WHAT?" Leo shouted. "I CAN'T HEAR YOU! WHICH IS WEIRD, SINCE YOU'RE THE ONE WITH BIG LONG SENSITIVE EARS, WHILE MINE ARE INSIDE MY HEAD! AND THESE FIN THINGS ARE MAINLY DECORATIVE." Pikachu sweatdropped again.

"So, we are not invincible after all?" Dondon asked, rubbing the crack that had formed on his chest. "This is…unexpected."

"But not reason to worry," Dotaku pointed out. "Their regular attacks are incapable of even budging us. So long as we stay apart and refrain from using Psychic, lest the Absol steal it and use it against us, we should be fine."

"You guys do realize we're right here and could hear all that, right?" Pikachu said.

"Yes, but it's an obvious strategy that you would have figured out anyway," Dotaku said.

"And aside from that, despite this setback, we are still fairly confident that we can defeat you," said Dondon. "After all, we have already taken out the strongest member of your team. What chance do the rest of you stand in his absence?"

"This is that Worf Effect thing King K was talking about, wasn't it?" Sasha murmured.

"Looks that way," Pikachu agreed.

"WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU! BUT IT LOOKS LIKE WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO FIGHT THEM WITHOUT ASH, THUS VALIDATING THAT WORF EFFECT THING I WAS TALKING ABOUT EARLIER!" Leo shouted.

Pikachu smirked. "In any event, if you think that Ash was the only thing that's been helping us win so far, you're sadly mistaken. We can take care of ourselves without him."

"Can you?" The Bronzong Brothers levitated a few feet into the air then slammed down hard on the ground, creating another Earthquake that shook the arena and shattered even more of the ring. Sasha and Pikachu bounded from rock to rock as the terrain shifted under their feet, hopping across the stony 'islands' that rose and sank and broke apart under their weight. Leo, much less agile, kept tripping and falling on his face and finally just hid in his shell to ride out the quake. The Bronzongs rose back into the air and fired Flash Cannons right at the ground, blasting more of the platform about. They started flying all over the stage while still firing their cannons, melting the rock into burning slag and tearing up even more of the already severely damaged stage. Sasha and Pikachu had to run all over the place to keep from being hit by the beams, jumping over trails of molten rock in the process. Leo, forced out of his hiding due to the constantly moving beams, had to follow behind at a much slower pace, cooling the heated ground with his Water Gun and Ice Beam since he wasn't agile enough to jump over them.

Then the Brothers decided to make things even _more_ difficult by hovering out just past the boundary of the stage (since they weren't touching the ground, technically they weren't disqualified from the match), flipped over, and fired Flash Cannons at each other from opposite sides of the ring, creating a rather large horizontal beam of white light which effectively divided the stage in two. They then started rotating clockwise, spinning the beam between them and forcing the three remaining members of the Fighting Four to run as fast as they could to keep from getting caught in the immense Steel-type blast.

"This is getting ridiculous!" Pikachu yelled.

"WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU! BUT ISN'T THIS GETTING RIDICULOUS?" Leo shouted. Pikachu almost facefaulted, which, considering that there was a giant energy beam just behind them, probably would not have been the best idea.

"I think I have an idea," Sasha said breathlessly as they ran. "If we can divide their attention, it may be easier for us to trick them into smashing into each other again."

"Okay, but how do we do that?" asked Pikachu.

"By splitting up, of course!" said Sasha.

"WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU! BUT I THINK WE SHOULD SPLIT UP SO THAT IT'LL BE EASIER TO TRICK THOSE GUYS INTO RUNNING INTO EACH OTHER!" shouted Leo, causing the other two to sweatdrop.

Finally, the Bronzongs ran out of Flash Cannon power and hovered back into the middle of the arena, where they tried using Earthquake again to knock them off their feet. All of them jumped at the last minute, however, and the shockwave passed under them, allowing them to safely land on the next bunch of outcroppings that burst out of the ground from the quake. (Well, Pikachu and Sasha did, Leo fell on his face again.) Pikachu hopped on Sasha's back and waved his sword while shouting wildly, the Absol rushing around the far side of the platform in an attempt to draw the Bronzong's attention. The Brothers flipped over and started charging up a Flash Cannon again, but Sasha beat them to it with Me First and fired one back at them, Pikachu assisting her with Thunder. The beam and lightning bolt collided with the Brothers' twin beams with a tremendous thunderclap. The energy clashed, sending bolts of static and sparks all over the place, but the Bronzong beams were much stronger than Sasha's and Pikachu's, and they slowly started pressing their attacks back towards the duo…

Until Leo sprayed his Water Gun all over Dondon. "HEY, OVER HERE! WHY DON'T YOU TRY SOMEONE YOUR OWN SIZE, TOUGH GUY?!"

"That statement is not only incredibly inaccurate, since you're smaller than me, but I have no reason to attack you, since I am currently engaged in crushing your teammates," Dondon said, an impressive feat considering he was still concentrating hard enough to fire his Flash Cannon at full force. "Once I am done with them, it will be your turn."

Leo laughed. "I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU JUST SAID, BUT IT WAS PROBABLY REALLY LAME, YO! YOU'RE ALL WET, SUCKA!"

"Yes, I am indeed all wet, because you sprayed me with a Water Gun. And I do not see what exactly you hoped to do with that move, since, while damp, I am still functioning at full power," Dondon said, rather bored. "Are you just drawing for straws now?"

"WHAT? I DIDN'T HEAR YOU…BECAUSE I WAS TOTALLY WHUPPING YOUR ASS!" Leo shouted, jumping off the top of a nearby outcropping. He took a deep breath and fired an Ice Beam at Dondon. Normally, this would have had no effect on the bell, but since Leo had already covered him with water…

The wetness froze solid, causing a rather large patch of ice to form over Dondon's face, blinding him! (Though how he could see anyway was a question nobody knew the answer to.) "Aaargh! I can't see!" he cried in alarm, flailing around in panic and causing his Flash Cannon beam to swerve away from Sasha and Pikachu and blast through a wall outside the ring. With the pressure from the second brother off, Sasha and Pikachu were able to push Dotaku's Flash Cannon back a bit away from them. "What have you done to me?!" Dondon roared as he thrashed about, trying to clear the ice from his face.

Dotaku stopped firing his Flash Cannon, allowing himself to get hit by Sasha and Pikachu's attacks. It's not like they hurt him, anyway. "Brother, calm down, you might hurt yourself, or me! Let me help you!"

However, Leo didn't intend to let Dotaku get the chance. "HEY METALHEAD! I'M RIGHT OVER HERE! AND THOUGH YOU CAN'T SEE IT, I'M SMACKING MY ASS AT YOU IN AN INSULTING MANNER, BECAUSE I THINK YOU SUCK, YO!' he shouted from right behind Dotaku, wiggling his tail in Dondon's direction.

"YOU!" Dondon roared, bristling with fury. He spun forward in a devastating Gyro Ball, blindly aiming for where he could hear the obnoxious turtle's taunts coming from…

And, naturally, collided right into the startled Dotaku, causing the arena to tremble as the twins rang loudly once more from the impact. The crack on Dotaku's face broke open into a gaping hole as it was smashed in by Dondon's wildly spinning fists. "AAAAAAHHHH! Brother…whyyyyyyy?!" he wailed as the force of the strike flung him out of the ring, where he slammed into a wall hard enough to leave a crater in it.

Dondon recoiled, his body vibrating and his fists dented from striking his brother. The vibrations shattered the ice on his face, allowing him to see and realize the full horror what he had just done. "Brother?! No…NO!"

"HAHA! IN YOUR FACE! I AM DA MON!" Leo roared, beating his fists on his chest.

Sasha and Pikachu sweatdropped. "He certainly is good at annoying others, isn't he?" Pikachu commented.

"Some could say it's his calling," Sasha agreed.

"What an upset! One of the indomitable Bronzong Brothers has just been defeated…by another one of the indomitable Bronzong Brothers!" the MC commented. "Which still counts as a victory for the Fighting Four! Now all they need to do is knock out Dondon…whichwill be no easy feat, considering that the only Pokemon in the arena capable of damaging him, his own brother, was just thrown out of the ring!"

Pikachu frowned. "Uh oh…he's right. We should have thought this through better…"

"WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" Leo shouted. "BUT I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE ONE OF THE BROTHERS IS OUT, IT'S GOING TO BE REALLY HARD TO BEAT THE OTHER ONE! MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT THIS THROUGH BETTER…" The others sweatdropped.

"You…you little, frail pathetic fleshlings! Look what you made me do!" Dondon roared, shaking with fury, and possibly still a little residual vibration from ramming into Dotaku. "You made me hurt my brother! And now I'm going to hurt YOU!" He whirled towards Leo in a Gyro Ball, intending to avenge his brother by taking out the irritating turtle first. Leo, unfortunately, had been looking at his friends when Dondon said this, and since he was still deaf was completely oblivious to their warnings that there was a four hundred pound spinning metal bell bearing down on him.

"HUH? WHAT ARE YOU GUYS TRYING TO SAY? I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" Leo shouted. "WAIT, WHY ARE YOU POINTING AND GESTURING WILDLY BEHIND ME? IS SOMETHING-" He paused. "OH CRAP, HE'S ABOUT TO HIT ME, ISN'T HE?" He turned around and screamed, seeing Dondon was about to slam into him. There was no way he could get out of the way in time, and hiding in his shell certainly wasn't going to protect him from something like this. It looked like it was the end for him.

"NO!" Sasha shouted, lunging across the stage and knocking Leo out of the way in the nick of time. The Bronzong hit her instead, ramming into her with such force that she flew through the air, slammed into the wall with a sickeningly wet thud, and fell to the ground, bleeding from her head and with what looked like a broken rib or two. There was bone jutting out from one of her legs…

The audience gasped in horror, as did Pikachu and Leo. "N-no…" Pikachu whispered.

"SHE-SHE SACRIFICED HERSELF FOR ME?!" Leo cried, shocked. "NO…SHE DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT!"

"Now you know how I felt when I lost my brother!" Dondon snarled. "Except that I was the one who took him out…by accident…and he wasn't nearly as badly hurt…oh, never mind! You're next, turtle!"

"Oh, this looks like a big streak of bad luck for the Fighting Four! Two of their toughest hitters are down, and now it's just the two lightweights against the much heavier Dondon! What hope do they possibly have of scratching the Bronzong Brother's ultra-strong hide now?"

"That's a very good question…" Pikachu murmured anxiously.

Leo trembled with fury. "NO…_NO!_ I'M NOT GONNA LET IT END LIKE THIS! I WON'T LET WHAT HAPPENED TO GONZALES AND NIGHT SLASH BE IN VAIN! WE'RE GONNA TAKE YOU DOWN, DUMBDUMB, FOR THEIR SAKE!"

"The name's Dondon, and _you're_ the one who's going down, for tricking me into knocking out my brother!" Dondon growled.

"I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU JUST SAID, AND IT DOESN'T MATTER! COME ON, MINUS, LET'S SHOW THIS GUY WHAT WE CAN DO!" Leo yelled.

Pikachu nodded and brandished his sword. "I'm with you, King K!"

"We-hell, it looks like the last two of the Fighting Four still have some fight left in them! Which is good, because otherwise, this would be a pretty boring match, right folks?" the MC asked rhetorically.

"It's going to be a pretty boring fight anyway, because with that Absol out of the way, there's nothing to stop me from removing you from the game with my Psychic attacks!" Dondon said ominously as his eyes started to glow.

"Or is there?" Pikachu commented, quickly throwing his sword at the Bronzong as they began to levitate into the air.

Dondon didn't bother catching it, thinking it wouldn't harm him…and so was surprised when the blade went right through the crack on his face, piercing his otherwise impenetrable skin. "Gah!"

"WHOA, I GUESS THROWING YOUR SWORD REALLY DOES ALWAYS WORK!" shouted the surprised Leo.

As Dondon grunted and tried to remove the sword from his face using his big mitts and Psychic powers—it didn't really hurt, but it stung something fierce--Pikachu dashed over, jumped towards Dondon, and grabbed his sword by the hilt. Pressing his feet against the surprised Bronze Bell's arms, he pushed his sword further into the crack and levered it about, causing the fissure to widen and further mar the Bronzong's largely vestigial features. Crying in pain, Dondon let go of the sword and smacked his metal hands into Pikachu's head, nearly crushing the false Minun's skull and causing blood to spurt from his nose and mouth. Dazed, Pikachu fell off and stumbled backwards as the room spun around him and spots danced before his eyes. Dondon grunted, grabbed the sword again, and _twisted_…only to break the sword in half, with a great deal of its length still stuck in his face, giving him a rather large headache. He cried out in frustration.

"ARE YOU OKAY, MAN?" Leo shouted, rushing over to try and help Pikachu from falling over.

Pikachu threw up and stared at Leo, trying to get the world moving properly again. "WHAT?" he shouted.

"I SAID, ARE YOU OKAY, MAN?" Leo asked again.

"WHAT?" Pikachu yelled, unable to hear Leo thanks to head trauma.

"WHAT?" Leo yelled, unable to hear Pikachu thanks to being temporarily deaf.

"WHAT?"

"WHAT?"

"WHAT?"

"WHAT?"

"GRAAAAHHH! This thing is driving me crazy!" Dondon roared as his latest attempt to extricate the sword shaft buried in his head only drove it deeper and made the crack in his face even larger. "I'm gonna kill you guys before this thing kills me!" Unable to concentrate enough to use his Psychic power due to the sword piece driven through his 'skull', he resolved instead to spin at them with a Gyro Ball, intending to smash them as a whirling dervish of destruction.

Leo and Pikachu barely got out of the way of his initial charge. "SPRAY HIM WITH WATER, AND THEN I'LL FIRE A THUNDERBOLT! THE CONDUCTIVITY OF THE WATER PLUS MY SWORD SERVING AS A LIGHTNING ROD SHOULD CHANNEL ELECTRICITY INSIDE OF HIM AND KNOCK HIM OUT!"

"WHAT?" Leo shouted.

"SPRAY HIM WITH WATER, AND THEN I'LL FIRE A THUNDERBOLT! THE CONDUCTIVITY OF THE WATER PLUS MY SWORD SERVING AS A LIGHTNING ROD SHOULD CHANNEL ELECTRICITY INSIDE OF HIM AND KNOCK HIM OUT!" Pikachu repeated.

"WHAT?" Leo shouted.

"_SPRAY HIM WITH WATER, AND THEN I'LL FIRE A THUNDERBOLT! THE CONDUCTIVITY OF THE WATER PLUS MY SWORD SERVING AS A LIGHTNING ROD SHOULD CHANNEL ELECTRICITY INSIDE OF HIM AND KNOCK HIM OUT!"_ Pikachu yelled at the top of his lungs.

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU! I'LL JUST SPRAY HIM WITH WATER SO YOU CAN HIT HIM WITH A THUNDERBOLT THAT'LL KNOCK HIM OUT!" Leo yelled.

"WHAT?" Pikachu yelled.

Rather than answering—not that he could, not having heard Pikachu—Leo spat a Water Gun at Dondon. He arced it into the air so that it would hit the Bronzong from above, rather than get deflected by his violent spinning. Surprised by his sudden inundation, Dondon paused in his twirling. "What-"

Pikachu took that opportunity to launch a Thunderbolt. The electric blast was attracted to the wet blade sticking out of Dondon's head like…well, like a wet lightning rod, and was channeled into the Bronzong's body through the crack in his near-impervious metal skin. Dondon howled in pain, his bell-shaped form vibrating and creating a harsh, jangling melody as Pikachu pumped volt after volt of energy into him. Growing dizzy again from his head injury, Pikachu was forced to cut off the flow, but it didn't matter much because Dondon had taken about as much as he could anyway, and passed out, falling to the floor with a loud clang that reverberated throughout the arena.

A hushed silence fell over everyone as they watched Dondon with trepidation, waiting to see if the Bronzong would get back up and keep on fighting. He didn't move an inch. He was completely out cold, which might have been for the best, since if he had kept fighting with that sword in his head he could have gotten permanent brain damage. "Aaaand…he's OUT! The Fighting Four are the winners! The invincible Bronzong Brothers have been defeated! Guess they're not so indestructible after all, huh folks?" The crowd cheered.

"DUDE, THAT WAS TOTALLY AWESOME, YO!" Leo yelled.

"I'M GOING TO NEED A NEW SWORD," Pikachu complained. "GOOD THING THAT WASN'T MY REGULAR ONE…"

"I LOVE YOU TOO, BUDDY," Leo shouted, patting Pikachu on the back.

"I THINK I HAVE A CONCUSSION," Pikachu said, passing out.

"WHAT?" Leo shouted.

Sasha, her chest and legs killing her, managed a weak smile from where she lay outside the ring as Nurse Joys rushed into the room to help her. "Good…job…" she whispered.

Ash, roused by the cheers from the crowd, woke up and found a concerned Tiny sitting on his chest. It hurt. The Larvitar was way too heavy for a newborn. "Hey there," Ash said, slightly dazed. He smiled as he felt warmth pass to him through his bond to the baby Pokemon. "I guess you really do care about me after all, huh?" Tiny sucked on his pacifier and said nothing. "I think I can get used to having you around…" He winced. "As soon as you get off my ribs…" Tiny blinked but didn't budge. Ash sighed. "I see we still have a few things to work out…" He smiled. "But you came to me on your own without trying to hide from others or anything. I think that's a step in the right direction, don't you?" Tiny stared at him blankly. "Yeah, that's what I thought you'd say…" Ash grinned. "You're going to fit really well in this team, you know that? I know you aren't the way you should be now, but…I just know that you're going to grow up into one awesome Pokemon some day. And I promise that I'll be with you every step of the way."

Tiny might have smiled then. Or it could have just been gas. It was hard to tell with him.

…

Meanwhile, in the skies above Sinnorre…

Mickey swallowed, licking his lips anxiously. "G-guys, is dis really n-necessary? I th-think I'm gonna be airsick…" Mickey had good reason to be anxious, considering that he was dangling from a rope hanging from the bottom of Team Rocket's balloon, with nothing but the cord wrapped around his waist to keep him from plummeting to a horrible death on the ground hundreds of feet below.

"Sorry, Mickey, but it's the only way we can stay safe from the demon within you!" Jessie called down from the safety of the basket.

"Taurosshit! You're perfectly safe so long as dese things Wabbaku painted on me work properly! Assuming dey work at all, that is…" Mickey said nervously.

"They will work perfectly so long as you do not mar them or break any of the patterns," Wabbaku called down. "Which is the real reason you are hanging down there: since you cannot wash yourself lest you disrupt my protective spells, your growing body odor would be rather…intolerable if contained within the tight space of this balloon. So it is for our protection both from the demon and from your stench that you are down there, since if we should pass through a storm by accident and my wards are washed off, releasing the full force of the demon's might, we can easily cut you loose and let you drop before you could kill us all."

"And by being so far away, none of us have to smell you!" Gardenia said cheerfully.

"Oh, come on!" Mickey snapped. "Dis is cruel and unusual punishment! Jimmy, come on, you can't let dem do dis to me!"

"Sorry, Mickey," James said apologetically. "I love you more than life itself…but when you haven't cleaned yourself for a while, even _I_ have trouble standing you! I'm so sorry…I'm a terrible boyfriend!" He burst into tears.

"Chiiiii!" Chimecho chimed stupidly.

"You certainly are!" Mickey snapped. "Letting dem do dis to me! I'm seriously considering dumping you for dis, Jimmy!" James wailed even louder.

"That's uncalled for, Mickey!" Gardenia scowled. "You hurt his feelings!"

"Sorry, but I have trouble being considerate for people who LET ME GET POSSESSED BY A DEMON AND ARE LITERALLY HANGING ME OUT TO DRY THOUSANDS OF FEET IN THE AIR!" Mickey shouted angrily. "Some friends you are!"

"We're thieves, what do you expect?" Jessie snorted.

"I thought there was supposed to be honor among thieves," Buzz said. Jessie burst into raucous laughter at this utterly ludicrous notion.

Mickey groaned. "I hate you guys…I'm gonna report dis to Uncle Giovanni, and den you'll be sorry!"

"We reported it to him last night," James said. "He commended us for doing whatever it took to keep your immortal soul from being consumed by an evil demon."

Mickey's hopes fell. With any luck, he wouldn't fall with them. "Oh…"

"Don't worry, Mickey," Wabbaku assured the miserable Meowth. "We should reach our destination of Giant Volcano some time tomorrow. Once there I will be able to obtain some of the ingredients I need to exorcise the demon from your body."

"And while we're at it, catch Team Aurabolt too!" Jessie cackled evilly. "And when we give him to the Boss, he'll give us an extra-special reward, both for capturing them and also for saving Mickey's soul!"

"And then maybe he'll give me your hand in marriage, so we can be united in holy matrimony!" James squeaked happily. "As opposed to unholy matrimony, which is what it would be if I married you now, since you're possessed and all."

Mickey groaned. "Tomorrow?! I don't know if I can last that long…"

"Don't worry, we'll land soon for dinner, and you can get some time on the ground then," Jessie said. "But not too much, since we'll be heading back into the air soon after. And while we're on the ground you're going to be tied to a tree downwind from us, so we won't have to smell you."

"It's for your own good," Wabbaku promised. "Mostly ours, but yours too."

Mickey's eye twitched. "With friends like dese, who needs enemies?"

…

Meanwhile, in Pokemon Square…

"Mr. Giovanni will be with you in a moment. Please wait here," an employee at Giovanni's bank, a Nidorina with rather too much eyeliner and black lipstick, informed Aaron, leading him to a small, utterly nondescript room with nothing in it save for a chair, a blinking security camera, and a speaker on the wall. She closed the door behind him. The blind Lucario glanced around him, rather troubled and wary, before reluctantly taking a seat in the chair. Then he waited to speak with the wealthy banker.

And waited.

And waited.

Finally, after half an hour, the speaker crackled to life. "Ah, Aaron, the legendary hero! Sorry to keep you waiting, I had some important business to attend to. How good it is to see you again, it's been a long time."

Aaron nodded at the camera. "It certainly has, Giovanni. I haven't seen you in ages…and it doesn't look as if I'm going to be seeing you anytime soon, either."

"Yes, due to your blindness, I heard about that. Sorry," Giovanni said.

Aaron shook his head. "No, I can still see perfectly fine, I was referring to how you don't seem to actually be here. Where are you?"

Giovanni laughed apologetically. "I'm sorry I couldn't meet with you in person today, but I've been rather busy for the last few weeks working on some investments and business deals outside the continent. Trying to get all the assets and goods we'll need to outlast the coming siege and all that."

"All right," Aaron said, accepting that. "That's a good thing to be doing. But then why are you communicating with me like this? I would have thought someone as wealthy as you would be able to arrange for a teleconference so we could speak face-to-face."

"Normally that would be the case, but I don't have a camera over here, sad to say, so I wouldn't be able to send you a visual transmission from where I am. I can see and hear you perfectly fine on my end, though, thanks to my wireless connection to the camera and speaker in the room you're in," said Giovanni.

"I see," said Aaron. "Well, I am disappointed not to be meeting you in person, but I understand that you're busy. Nevertheless, I'm glad I could arrange to speak with you, something has come to my attention that I was hoping you could address."

"Really? What's that?" Giovanni asked.

Aaron frowned. "Two things, actually. The first is this: why is it that I am unable to see anything beyond the walls of the room I'm in?"

There was a pause on Giovanni's end. "What do you mean?" the Persian asked.

"I rely on Aura-sight one hundred percent ever since the loss of my true eyes," Aaron explained. "Thanks to that, I'm usually able to see through walls and other objects. However, I can't see anything outside the room I'm in. In fact, when I came into your bank, I noticed a _lot_ of things I couldn't see through or properly perceive with my Aura-sight for some reason. Would you happen to know why that might be?"

"Hmm…that's interesting," Giovanni murmured. "I recently installed a new metal in many of the walls and doors in the most secure and important areas in the building. It's supposed to be an experimental new alloy that is capable of keeping Ghosts from phasing through and Psychics from Teleporting in or using their mental powers to see what's inside. It's for security purposes, of course. I guess it must also be capable of blocking Aura-sight. I'll have to tell the dev team about that…"

Aaron grimaced. "It's not something I'm exactly enjoying…I'm used to being able to use the full extent of my powers and abilities wherever I go, the concept of something Pokemon-made being able to hobble them makes me uneasy. Why have you gone to such lengths to increase security? There are no thieves in Pokemon Square. Almost all the riches you store here belong to the townspeople, they'd only be robbing from themselves or their neighbors by breaking into your bank."

"Maybe so, but in my line of work you can never be too careful," Giovanni said. "Additionally, not _everything_ I'm holding onto belongs to people in town. I also happen to be keeping a paw on a few…shall we say, _delicate_ accounts from Pokemon overseas, Pokemon who want to be very certain they can feel safe leaving their investments in my care, if you know what I mean. And besides, if, Arceus forbid, the barbarians should manage to overcome our city's defenses, my bank may become one of the last buildings in town capable of withstanding their invasion force long enough to turn the tide."

Aaron grimaced. "I hope it does not come to that."

"Neither do I," Giovanni said. "But we must be ready for any contingency. Now, you said there was something else that was bothering you?"

Aaron nodded. "I came by earlier to check on my account…and was rather surprised to find that I seemed to be short a few hundred Poke' than I had when I left town all those years ago to embark on my quest to strengthen myself. Why is that?"

There was a long pause. "You're saying there was less money in your account than there was when you last checked a decade ago? You're certain?"

Aaron nodded. "Without a doubt."

Giovanni hesitated for a moment. "Well, Aaron, I don't mean to disparage your judgment, but…you have been gone an _awfully_ long time. Are you certain you're remembering correctly? Maybe you're simply rounding up the original number a little?"

"My memory has always been impeccable," Aaron said, tone thick with ice. "When I came by a few days ago and asked about my account, the amount of money in there was far less than the amount I remember depositing before setting out on my journey. They wouldn't let me go into the vault to count my money personally without you—what with you being away then, too—so I've had to wait until now to talk to you about it. Either my memory is wrong, or someone's been stealing from me, Giovanni. Which is it?"

"Don't you think you're leaping to assumptions, Aaron?" Giovanni asked smoothly. "You said yourself…there are no thieves in Pokemon Square."

"Then how do you explain the missing money?" Aaron asked skeptically.

"Why do you even care so much, anyway? Aren't you Aura Guardians supposed to be all ascetic and beyond worldly possessions and cash and all that?" Giovanni asked, trying to change the subject.

"That doesn't mean I like people taking what's mine," Aaron growled, getting fed up of Giovanni avoiding the problem. His suspicions were growing as to just who that person who took what was his might be. "The missing money, Giovanni. Explain. Now."

Giovanni sighed reluctantly, giving in. "Oh, very well. The truth of the matter is…it's a computing error."

Aaron paused. "A…computing error?"

"Yes, rather regrettable. You see, I recently had a Porygon2 installed into our computers to strengthen our firewalls, increase processing power, handle online transactions, that sort of thing…unfortunately, it turned out to be a Trojan Rapidash. The supplier secretly added a dubious program to the Porygon2 that automatically activated after it had been with us long enough, causing it to transform into a Porygon-Z. Rather than wreaking havoc on our computers and causing crashes and mayhem and all that, it discreetly started funneling small amounts of cash from all of our accounts into those belonging to its creator. Your account was one of them. It took us a while to figure out what was going on, and it was just a few days ago—shortly after you visited, actually—that we managed to delete the meddlesome virus and regain the money it stole," Giovanni explained.

Aaron frowned, finding this story rather hard to believe. "I see…but if that's the case, why didn't you tell me or anyone else about this?"

"We kept it hushed up out of fear that our customers would lose faith in us if they found out that our mainframe had been compromised. They wouldn't trust us anymore, and we would lose all sorts of business," Giovanni said apologetically. "Even though the problem's been solved now, I would prefer it if you could refrain from telling anyone else about it. It could ruin my bank! And in any event, you have all your Poke' back, so there's no harm done, right? I'll even have one of my employees escort you down so you can check it personally to make sure that it's all right where it belongs."

Aaron nodded slowly. "I think I will…not that I don't trust you Giovanni, I just want to make sure that everything is in order." Giovanni was obviously lying, but until Aaron could figure out why and what the Persian was really up to, he'd play along. For now.

"No problem, I understand completely, I would do the same thing in your place," Giovanni assured him. The door behind Aaron opened, and the Nidorina from before appeared, looking bored and chewing some bubble gum. Aaron wasn't sure if he was relieved or disappointed by her indifference towards him, in comparison to the rabid frenzy of his many fangirls. "Lindsey will take you downstairs, won't you Lindsey?"

"Meh," she said as the bubble she had been blowing popped due to the many spikes all over her body and face.

"I'll take that as a yes," said Giovanni as Aaron got up.

"Thank you for giving me a moment of your time, Giovanni," Aaron told the Persian. _Don't think this is over…_ he thought to himself.

"Think nothing of it," Giovanni said cheerfully, hopefully unaware of Aaron's continuing suspicions of him. "I hope to see you in the flesh soon…and that we continue doing business in the future, assuming we aren't all killed by barbarians, that is."

"Don't we all?" Aaron asked with a smirk. He left the room, following Lindsey, resolving to keep a closer eye on Giovanni and his bank in the future. The businessman was up to something, and he rather doubted that anything good would come of it.

Giovanni, who had not in fact been in another country but was actually sitting in a small booth on the other side of one of the walls in the room Aaron had just been in, sighed in relief as he watched Aaron leave on the monitors and one-way glass on the control panel in front of him, then grinned to himself. _Looks like I'll have to give Nagi and Sebastian that extra funding they asked for after all,_ he thought cheerfully (as somewhere, in a distant lab, Doctor Namba stiffened, certain somebody was getting his name wrong) as he wiped some sweat from his brow. _That new metal they've been working on has proved to be even more wondrous than we had ever dreamed!_

It had been no coincidence that the new metal that had been installed all over the bank was impervious to Aaron's Aura-sight. Giovanni had ordered his Team Rocket scientists to try and develop an Aura-proof alloy, certain that at some point in the near future Aaron, Ash, or some other Aura Guardian might try to interfere with his plans. Aaron's insistence to meet with him to talk about his missing money had been a perfect opportunity to test the new metal in the field, and it had succeeded beyond his wildest hopes. Aaron had had no idea that he had been just a few feet away from him, not in a distant land. This meant that when they finished using the metal to construct Project T, no Ghost, Psychic, or Aura user would be able to see the weapon's inner workings and discover any weaknesses or vulnerabilities. The fact that the new metal had so far managed to stand up to nearly all attempts to destroy it in testing didn't hurt in guaranteeing Project T's near-invincibility either.

Developing that metal, and the other projects Team Rocket was working on, hadn't been cheap, though, which was why he'd been forced to steal a considerable amount of money from his clientele in small individual sums to fund his operations. Hopefully nobody else would notice, and if they did, he'd simply transfer some cash from one account to another to quell any suspicions, just as he had transferred some money from his personal account to Aaron's to hopefully trick the Lucario into thinking nothing fishy was going on. He wasn't sure that Aaron had bought the lie about the Porygon, but so long as he had nothing solid to build his suspicions on, Giovanni doubted Aaron would figure out what he was _really_ up to until it was too late.

And then not even the legendary Rescue Team leader would be able to keep Team Rocket from dominating the world.

…

Some time later…

Sasha was used to being visited in her dreams. It was the most common medium through which her master communicated with her. She was not, however, used to anyone _else_ speaking to her this way, and so was surprised when she sensed an unfamiliar presence in her slumbering mind on the night after the grueling battle with the Bronzong Brothers.

"Hello?" Sasha called into the darkness. "Master, is that you?"

There was no response. There usually wasn't whenever she called for her master, since he only talked to her if he felt like it or needed her for something, but it never hurt to try. However, the lack of a reply also confirmed her suspicion that the trespasser was not her master, since she knew his presence well and this intruder was a complete stranger, something she had not thought possible before now. How disconcerting. Was this how other Pokemon felt when they found Psychics probing through their minds?

There was a flicker in the darkness, incredibly faint, but the blackness of her dream was so absolute that any trace of light was visible, no matter how dim. "Who are you?" Sasha demanded of the strange, faint presence. "What are you doing here?"

"…Ash…" the presence whispered in a voice so faint Sasha almost didn't catch it.

Sasha blinked in surprise. "Ash? You are looking for Ash?"

"…C…u…he…." The presence said, its voice rising and falling in time with its flickering. Sasha frowned. It didn't seem as if her intruder was entirely in her mind. Or maybe they had a bad connection? She had heard that Psychics had difficulty communicating with others over incredibly great distances. While she doubted that this being was a Psychic (for how could it talk to a Dark-type like herself?) perhaps the same concept was in effect here?

"I'm sorry, but I don't understand you," Sasha said apologetically, straining her eyes to try and get a better look at the stranger, but the faint light was so diaphanous and elusive she couldn't make out the intruder's form in her dream. "I can barely see or hear you at all. Can you speak up?"

The light brightened and grew stronger, as if whoever sent it was forcing themselves to concentrate. "Ash…"

"It is Ash you need to speak to, not myself?" Sasha guessed. "Then why are you not speaking to him in his mind, rather than mine? You do not belong here."

"Ca…you…only…" Whatever else the being was saying faded out as the light flickered again, losing coherency.

Sasha still got the gist of its message. "I am the only one you can speak to? I don't understand why, but that is irrelevant. What is it you need me to tell Ash?"

"Te…I…" The flickering increased.

"Hold yourself together! What is your message? I can't tell Ash anything if you can't tell it to me first!" Sasha cried, realizing the stranger didn't have much time left.

"I…" The stranger struggled, trying to maintain its presence in her mind, but ultimately failed, its words drowning out in a noise akin to static and vanishing along with the light, leaving Sasha alone with her own thoughts.

"Hello?" the Absol cried, hoping she might still be able to somehow draw the mysterious being back from the beyond. "Are you still there? Hello?" There was no reply.

Sasha sighed, somewhat annoyed. That had been rather puzzling. What had just happened? "Master, I don't know if you can hear me, or are even listening, but someone just tried to communicate with me through dreaming. They weren't very good at it, though, and I have no idea who they are or what they were trying to tell me, but I think they want Ash for some reason, or at least want me to pass a message on to him." Her master did not reply to her, but that wasn't really a surprise. He was probably busy somewhere else. She grunted and narrowed her eyes. "I guess I'll just have to continue as I have been, then, and wait for further instructions. And hope that if and when that stranger tries to contact me again…I'll be ready."

…

An awesome fight (or pair of fights), a new team member, and a new mystery…it looks like there are still lots of things in store for Team Aurabolt in this tournament.

What do you think of the addition of yet another Pokemon to the main cast?


	26. Day 3: The Dungeon Master's Revenge

And now for the next round of the tournament! This chapter will have less fighting than you would expect. Or at least, less of a certain _kind_ of fighting. Hope that doesn't turn you off! Or that the kind of fighting that _is_ involved won't irritate you…

Additionally, in this chapter we'll see the return of several characters that you either love or loathe, depending on your preference. It should be fun to see them again, shouldn't it? Or not.

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters that don't belong to me.

…

It was the third day of the Mt. Battle tenth anniversary tournament.

Or rather, it was the _evening_ of the third day of the tournament. The Fighting Four had already defeated their first group of opponents that morning, Dem Bones, a mother-children team of Marowak and Cubone, and were well into the last match of the day, a one-on-one showdown between Ash and The Brock. As the Lucario and Graveler duked it out in the ring, Ash's friends cheered him on…save for Tiny, who just sat there dully sucking on his pacifier. "Yeah, come on, Gonzales!" Pikachu enthused.

"Yo, kick that mofo to the curb, brutha!" Leo shouted.

"You're wearing him down, just a little longer and he'll be out of the game!" Sasha cried.

Ash was not the only one to have his own group of cheerleaders, though. The Brock's nine younger siblings all of whom, were varying different Pokemon and all shared their big brother's squinty eyes, were shouting encouragement to The Brock as well. "Take him down, Big Brother!" cried Forrest, who was a Snorlax twice The Brock's size.

"Show him what you're made of!" yelled Salvadore, who was an Abra.

"Crush him like a piece of roadkill!" shouted Yolanda, a Swinub.

"If you win, you might be able to score a date with Nurse Joy!" cried Tommy, a Skitty.

"Probably not, though! But you should try and win anyway! Because otherwise, we might not be able to pay the rent!" added Cindy, a Cyndaquil.

Ash, who had spent the last few minutes exchanging punches with The Brock, hopped back to get some space and allow the both of them to take a moment to recover and catch their breaths. "Your siblings really seem to respect you!" He wiped away some sweat, wincing as a few drops trickled into one of his eyes, which had started swelling up after receiving a hard hit from The Brock. His ribs and knuckles felt a bit bruised, too.

The Brock panted and picked at several large cracks Ash had made in his hard skin. "The Brock is the only parental figure they have, since our no-good deadbeat dad ran off years ago and never returned, and Mom vanished soon after! The Brock has had to take care of them ever since! The Brock is the closest thing they have to a father now!"

"I'm sorry to hear about your parents," Ash said apologetically. "Do you know what happened to your father?"

"No," The Brock growled. "But if The Brock ever sees him again…well, you can bet The Brock's going to have more than a few choice words to exchange with him. The Brock has done his best to take care of the others with Mom and Dad gone…but that sort of thing takes money, which is why The Brock has to enter fighting tournaments like this one to bring home the bacon!"

"I see," Ash said, briefly considering throwing the match so that The Brock would be able to get further in the tournament and earn more money for his family, and also so that his siblings wouldn't have to watch their big brother get totally creamed right before their eyes. Only for a second, though. What kind of idiot would do something like that, anyway? "I don't mean to deprive you of your family's main source of income, but I have no intention of letting you win this match! I have important reasons for fighting too, and I also have people to protect!"

The Brock grinned. "The Brock can respect that! And no need to worry…the money The Brock's earned so far should help keep us warm and fed for a long time to come. But that doesn't mean The Brock's backing down either, not when The Brock can go so much further…And maybe score with some hot babes!"

Ash sweatdropped. "I find that last bit a little unlikely."

The Brock's face fell. "Why does everyone keep _saying_ that?"

The fighters glanced up when they heard the audience starting to boo and jeer. "Hey, what's their problem?" asked an annoyed Ash.

"What're you two doing? This is a fighting match, not social hour! Less talking, more fighting!" the MC yelled angrily.

"Yeah, you heard the mon, suckas! Get back to the action, yo!" Leo shouted.

"Didn't you get distracted talking with AJ for a while when you had a match with him?" Pikachu pointed out.

Leo's face turned red. "Well, yeah, but at least I had the decency to wait until _after_ the match to have a down-to-earth chat with him, yo!"

"Stop talking and punch his lights out, Big Brother!" Forrest yelled.

"Yeah, we want to see you solve your problems with violence, not words!" shouted Yolanda. "Because those are lame!"

Ash and The Brock sweatdropped. "Your siblings are rather bloodthirsty, aren't they?"

The Brock laughed sheepishly. "The Brock may not have set the best example for them by choosing a career in professional fighting…The Brock guesses we got a little carried away, huh?"

"I guess so," Ash agreed. "So what're we gonna do about it?"

"Give the people a fight to remember!" Brock roared, pumping his fists.

Ash smirked. "Sounds good to me!" They resumed their battle.

"Finally! I thought they'd never get back to beating the crap out of each other!" said the exasperated MC.

"Yeah, more senseless violence! Booyah!" Leo cheered along with the crowd.

"I do not mean to complain, but why is Gonzales fighting The Brock rather than King K? As a dual Rock and Ground-type, The Brock should be extremely vulnerable to King K's attacks," Sasha asked.

"Yeah, but Gonzales said he wanted to take this one," Pikachu explained. "He wasn't sure why, but he said that something inside him felt ecstatic at the prospect of punching this guy's face in."

Sasha sweatdropped. "Ah…" Tiny sucked on his pacifier but made no comment.

Back in the ring, The Brock used Stone Edge, causing three blue rings to spin around The Brock before splitting to form sharp-edged rocks. The Brock's eyes glowed, and the rocks flew through the air like daggers at Ash. Ash formed his Bone Rush staff and used it to rapidly deflect the rocks as they shot towards him, sending them flying in all directions. He then charged towards The Brock and tried to strike him with the staff. Before he could hit him, The Brock rolled up into a Defense Curl so that the energy bone splintered harmlessly against his hard skin. He then lunged forward in a Rollout, trying to steamroll over Ash. The Lucario quickly sidestepped The Brock before he could get flattened, swiveling on one foot as The Brock sped past him and firing a Flash Cannon at the Graveler from behind. The Brock immediately stopped spinning and used Protect to shield himself from the blast, then jumped into the air (yes, while still curled into a ball), glowed brown, and smashed back into the ground with Magnitude, cracking the floor and sending shockwaves rippling out across the ground. Ash easily jumped over those and threw an Aura Sphere at The Brock while he was still in the air. The Brock rolled a few feet to the side to dodge the attack, then used Double-Edge, launching himself into the air and tackling the surprised Ash with an astonishing amount of speed and force.

Ash gasped, his eyes bulging from their sockets as pain surged from his chest through his entire body. He nearly blacked out…but thankfully was made of tougher stuff than that, and managed to summon his Metal Claws, which he dug into the surprised The Brock's skin. Then he used the momentum from The Brock's Double-Edge, which was still carrying them through the air, to flip over and fling The Brock at the ground in what would have made a passable Seismic Toss, except that Lucarios couldn't learn that move. (Don't tell Ash that, though.) The Brock hit the floor hard enough to crater it and cause fissures to snake out and tear up the platform. As the Graveler struggled to get back to his feet, Ash fired a Flash Cannon straight down at him. The Brock quickly shielded himself with Protect to avoid taking damage, but by the time it wore off Ash had stopped firing his Cannon and was shooting down at The Brock with a Rock Smash attack before he could defend himself, burying his fist up to the wrist in the side of The Brock's face.

The crowd gasped. "Oh, a brutal blow!" the MC said, sounding much, much too delighted by the carnage.

The Brock's siblings gasped. "BIG BROTHER!" they screamed.

Pikachu winced. "He barely missed that guy's eye…"

"What eye?" Leo asked. Pikachu glared at him. "What? For all we know he's blind, and that's why his eyes are squeezed shut all the time, homes!"

"Riiight, and he uses Aura-sight to see," Pikachu said sarcastically.

"He could, actually," Sasha said. "It's not inconceivable that a Graveler could use Aura if a Larvitar could, is it?" Tiny blinked at her.

Pikachu facepalmed. "I was BEING SARCASTIC. Not to mention that he CAN'T use Aura-Sight within Battlus's dampening field. Even if he HAD Aura-sight. Which he DOESN'T. So if he were blind, which I suspect he isn't, then he would just have excellent other senses, which he doesn't appear to, ergo he isn't blind."

Leo scratched his head in puzzlement. "Then how the heck does he see, yo?"

"I don't know, why don't you ask him yourself?!" Pikachu snapped.

"What?! No way! That would be mondo giganto rude, dawg! Fo'shizzle!" Leo said. Pikachu facepalmed again.

Ash grunted as he extracted his fist from the dent he had made in The Brock's face, grimacing at how much his paw stung from smashing through solid rock. "Had enough?"

"Ugh…have…you?" The Brock asked as he swung his arms up with surprising speed, grabbing Ash's arms by the wrists and yanking them out to either side. The smaller pair of secondary arms on his chest then unfolded and started beating a tattoo into Ash's gut, causing the Lucario to gasp in pain.

"Looks like The Brock wants revenge for Gonzales putting a fist through his face, folks! You know what they say, an eye for an eye!...Except that The Brock is punching Gonzales's chest, rather than smashing his face in…er…I'll shut up now," the MC said.

Brock's siblings cheered. "Yeah, that's the way to do it, Big Bro!" Salvadore cried.

"Sock it to him!" Tommy agreed.

"That looks painful, yo," Leo commented.

"He's had worse," Pikachu said unworriedly.

Sasha nodded. "Like when he got buried under an avalanche after we first met…one he triggered, might I add."

"It wasn't his fault," Pikachu said. "He had just learned Metal Sound, he had no idea how to use it…or that we were in an area where it was a bad idea to make loud noises."

Ash gritted his teeth as The Brock tried to pound his chest in, mind racing against the pain as he struggled to think of a way out of this situation. Abruptly, he realized that, while The Brock had immobilized his arms, his legs were still free…

He swung his legs up and planted them against The Brock's chest, right underneath his secondary arms. The Brock paused in his pummeling, glancing down at Ash's feet in confusion, giving Ash the time he needed to build up a charge of Aura in his legs and kick off in a burst of explosive blue fire, propelling him away from The Brock with such force that the blast not only demolished the secondary arms, but also ripped off The Brock's main hands at the wrist, which had foolishly kept clinging onto him rather than letting go when their owner had realized what was going on. The Brock cried in agony and staggered backwards, his crippled arms flailing blindly.

The crowd gasped. "BIG BROTHER!" The Brock's siblings wailed.

"Ooh, looks like The Brock could use a _hand_, folks!" the MC joked. The audience booed at him. "Okay, okay, bad joke, I get it! Geez, some people…"

Ash landed several yards away, ripped The Brock's severed hands off his wrists, and charged back towards the Graveler. Recovering from his grievous wound (He was a Rock-type, after all, it's not like he was bleeding or anything. The lost limbs would grow back eventually even if they didn't get regenerated at the Pokemon Center.), The Brock growled and curled up into a ball, spinning towards Ash in a Rollout. Ash leaped into the air and landed on top of the boulder, running in place as The Brock zigzagged and rolled all over the uneven terrain, doing the best he could to keep from getting knocked off every time The Brock abruptly changed directions or smashed into some broken piece of stage protruding from the ground.

"That's pretty impressive," Sasha complimented.

"Yeah, but he's only barely staying on top of that thing, if he trips up it'll be all over," Pikachu said anxiously.

"Then he'd better stay frosty, yo," Leo said, stating the obvious.

Ash cursed himself as he desperately ran as fast as he could to keep up with the spinning body of the Graveler beneath him. What had he been thinking, jumping up here?! What had he thought he could achieve?!

An idea suddenly occurred to him, and he grinned. Maybe there was _one_ thing he could do…he used Extremespeed, light trailing from his form as he ran even faster than before. This had an effect on The Brock, for as Ash's rapid-moving feet pushed off against the Graveler's rolling form; The Brock began spinning even _faster_ due to the super-quick Ash running on top of him. The Brock quickly lost control of his Rollout, and wildly careened all over the place. Ash discovered he could subtly steer his 'steed' by putting more weight on whichever foot he was putting down next, and managed to guide The Brock where he wanted by shifting his balance in the right direction. And that direction, naturally, was the edge of the ring.

The Brock, realizing what was coming, desperately tried to uncurl from his Rollout, but at the speeds he was going he wound up snapping off his feet and skidding rather painfully towards the edge of the ring, digging a trench through the ground with his face. The trench slowed down his momentum so that he stopped only inches away from the edge of the stage. Ash, unsatisfied with this, ran over to The Brock before the Graveler could lever himself out of the ground on his stumps and hit him in the rear with a Force Palm, blasting him out of the ring and causing him to smash into a wall hard enough to crater it before sliding down to the floor with a rather painful-looking thud. "NOOOOOOO! THE BROCK!" The Brock's siblings shrieked, rising from the benches and rushing over to their rather brutally maimed and beaten older brother. Ash winced, wondering if perhaps he had overdone it a little.

Judging from the cheers he was getting, the audience didn't seem to think so. "And that's all she wrote, folks! The Brock has been taken out of the tournament by the Great Gonzales! At the rate the Lucario and his sidekicks are going, they may even be able to challenge the champion Wes in the near future…and who knows? He might even be able to _win!_ I wouldn't bet on it, though…but you paying customers can, if you want…"

"Hey, who's he calling sidekicks?!" asked an offended Pikachu.

Leo nodded in agreement. "Yeah, if anything, y'all are _my_ sidekicks, yo!"

Pikachu and Sasha stared at him incredulously. "We're your what now?" Pikachu asked in disbelief.

Leo smirked. "Yeah, you heard right, you're the sidekicks, yo! That crazy flower with the glasses and mech suit said so! Of course, considering he was insane and thought he was an online persona, he's not exactly the most reliable source of authority…word." Pikachu rolled his eyes in exasperation and shoved Leo off the bench.

"What are sidekicks?" Sasha asked.

"Basically, what King K is to the rest of us," Pikachu said.

"HEY!" Leo shouted. Tiny sucked on his pacifier and said nothing.

Ash staggered to the edge of the ring, wincing and clutching his chest. "You okay?" he asked The Brock, who was surrounded by his siblings.

The kids glared at him angrily through their slitted eyes. "He's most certainly NOT okay!" Forrest shouted furiously.

"Thanks to you, he's got no arms or legs!" yelled Salvadore.

"And his face is broken up!" Yolanda cried. "How's he gonna get a girlfriend looking like that?!"

"Not that he would have, anyway..." Tommy muttered.

"You're gonna pay for this, you jerk!" Cindy snapped. Ash winced, feeling a deep sense of guilt wash over him. Maybe he should have thrown the match after all…or at the very least, not have ripped The Brock's limbs off.

The Brock, however, didn't seem to agree with the assessment of his siblings. "Ugh…guys…lay off him…"

They looked at him in surprise. "But Big Brother, look at what he did to you!" Forrest cried. "He totally messed you up!"

"Yeah, we can't just let that go unpunished!" Yolanda agreed.

The Brock shook his head. "Guys, it was a fighting match! Nearly anything goes in there! The Brock probably could have done just as badly to him if The Brock had had the chance. He just did what he needed to do to win, there's nothing wrong with that…especially if it's for a good cause, right?"

Ash shook his head. "I don't really think that the ends justify the means…but if you're really not holding a grudge for me giving you a no-holds barred beatdown…"

The Brock managed a grin. "Nah, it's okay. The Brock's had worse. If you weren't the one to give it to The Brock, then someone else would have in the next round or two. Its okay, The Brock didn't need to go any further in the tournament anyway; The Brock already has enough money to support the kids a while longer." His eyes abruptly turned into hearts. "And besides, now The Brock gets to be tended to by Nurse Joy! Maybe she'll go out on a date with The Brock while healing The Brock's many wounds!"

Ash and the other kids sweatdropped. "Yeah…keep dreaming, bro. Keep dreaming," said Salvadore. The other kids nodded in agreement, and The Brock sagged unhappily.

The audience started grumbling, displeased by the easy camaraderie that seemed to be developing between Brock and Ash. "They're talking again. And it looks like they're becoming friends. Why are they talking and becoming friends? This is a fighting tournament! We want to see hate! Blood! Violence! Gore! A thirst for vengeance and a rematch in the future that will be highly publicized and make millions! Not namby-pamby 'defeat equals friendship' crap! Didn't we get enough of this during the King K/AJ match?!" the MC whined.

"Booooo!" the crowd booed.

Everyone on the arena floor sweatdropped. "The crowd here sure is fickle…" The Brock muttered. "Like a woman!" Ash and his siblings stared at him.

"You know, it's probably saying things like that that keeps you from ever getting a date…" Forrest muttered.

"They certainly changed their tune fast," Sasha commented.

"I'm starting to hate this town," Pikachu growled. "Back home, we have the occasional fighting tournament too, but they aren't as big a deal as they are here. We fight for fun rather than profit, and rarely if ever does anyone walk away from a defeat with a bitter grudge. And the crowds certainly aren't this thirsty for bloodshed."

"That's cause it's a small town, yo," Leo said. "Where losing a match or two doesn't matter. But this here's the big leagues, and lives and careers are made and broken by the outcomes of a single fight, dawg! The stakes are way higher, and so are the demands for entertainment and stuff, ya know? More people are watching, so expectations and pressure are a lot greater than they would be in a dinky town in the middle of nowhere."

"You mean like the town _you_ grew up in?" Pikachu asked.

"Yeah, pretty much, homes," Leo said, not the least bit insulted.

The audience's griping about how lame it was for Ash and The Brock to become friends rather than hated rivals came to a stop when the room shook and suddenly an explosion caused part of the roof to cave in, sending debris and lights and pieces of scaffolding plummeting into the stands. The crowd screamed and frantically scrambled on top of each other to try and get out of the way of the falling rubble. The MC gasped. "Wh-what's this?! This wasn't on the schedule!"

The sitting members of Team Aurabolt surged to their feet as an alarmed Ash glanced at the hole in the ceiling, a cloud of smoke and dust billowing around it. "This can't be good…" Pikachu muttered, drawing his sword. (He had purchased a new one after the old one had gotten broken in Dondon's head. He still wished he had Thunder Fang with him.)

"Is it…you know, _them?!_ Did they find us?!" Leo cried.

Sasha growled. "If so, then they will find that we are more than they have bargained for…" Tiny started sucking faster on his pacifier, anxiety glimmering in his eyes.

"What's going on?" Ash wondered, squinting his eyes to try and see through the smoke cloud as behind him, The Brock's frightened siblings tried to roll their injured big brother out of the room, despite The Brock's protests that he wanted to stay and fight. He got his answer when the cloud dissipated and what looked like a balloon shaped like a Meowth head lowered into the room, accompanied by a rather silly attempt at a maniacal laugh. Ash stiffened, a deep sense of dread settling in his stomach…as well as an odd feeling of resignation attached to an incredibly strong flash of déjà vu.

"Prepare for trouble from beyond the stars!" crowed a rather hideous Dustox fluttering in the balloon's basket.

"From beyond the stars, a nasty surprise!" cried a rather goofy-looking Mime Jr. with a Chimecho wrapped around his head.

"An evil as old as the galaxy…" said the Dustox.

"…Sent here to fulfill our destiny!" finished the Mime Jr.

"Plus, there's me," a rather disheveled Meowth covered in strange markings with an oddly familiar nose dangling from the bottom of the basket by a rope said tiredly.

"To denounce the evils of truth and love!" said the Dustox.

"To extend our reach to the stars above!" said the Mime Jr.

"Jessie!" said the Dustox.

"And James!" said the Mime Jr.

"And Mickey are da names," the Meowth said wearily.

"And Gardenia," said a Cacnea.

"And Buzz," added a Yanmega.

"And myself," said a Wobbuffet with strange tribal markings and dress reluctantly.  
"Chiiii!" the Chimecho squealed.

"Shut up, you're throwing us off!" the Dustox hissed.

"Oh, sorry," the Cacnea apologized.

"Ahem. Where were we? Oh, right…anywhere there's peace in the universe…" recited the Dustox.

"Team Rocket…" started the Mime Jr.

"Will be there…" moaned the Meowth.

"To make everything worse!" they all shouted.

"Woooobbuffet!" said the Wobbuffet.

"Chiiiii!" chimed the Chimecho.

"Why did you do that? You did that last time too," the puzzled Cacnea asked the Wobbuffet.

The Patient Pokemon paused. "…I honestly have no idea."

Everyone stared blankly at the balloon, the crowd stopping in their panic to gaze in disbelief at these rather odd intruders. The MC was the one to finally break the silence. "Okay, what the _fuck?!_"

"What…who…who are…" an astonished Pikachu stammered.

Leo groaned. "Oh great, looks like we're gonna have a Goldeen Poop Gang on this adventure after all…"

"A what?" Sasha asked.

"A team of utterly moronic and incompetent villains that constantly dog the heroes wherever they go and are generally less than an actual threat and more of a pathetic nuisance," Leo explained.

"Ah," said Sasha. "Yes, that certainly looks to fit these individuals, if that rather odd introduction is anything to go by." Tiny nodded in agreement.

Ash's eye twitched rather violently as thousands of memories from what he supposed were his past life flickered through his mind at high speed…memories of a trio of incredibly obnoxious thieves in an identical balloon pursuing and harassing him wherever he went, trying to kidnap Pikachu, catching him and his friends in pit traps, attacking them in ridiculous giant robots, always reciting that stupid motto, and in general making a nuisance of themselves, like all deranged stalkers did. "No…no…noooooooooo…not _them…_why does there have to be a version of _them_ here too?!"

"All right, listen up and do as we say and we'll be out of here before you know it!" Jessie shouted to the entire arena. "We're looking for a group called Team Aurabolt, and we have it on good information that we're here. Tell us where they are, or else!" Hearing this, Ash stiffened and glanced at his friends, who exchanged worried looks with him.

"Team Aurabolt? Uh, I don't believe a team by that name has entered the tournament," said the puzzled MC. "Are you sure you have the right place?"

"Don't lie to us! We know for a fact they're here!" Jessie snapped.

"Yeah, the spirits told us!" said James. Wabbaku winced.

There was a long, awkward pause. "The…spirits…" the MC said slowly.

"Yes! Our resident shaman spoke to his spirit guides, and they told him Team Aurabolt was in this building! Isn't that right, Wabbaku?" Jessie asked the Wobbuffet.

The shaman grimaced. "Please don't draw attention to me…"

The MC coughed, trying hard not to laugh. "Spirits…right…well, I regret to inform you that I've checked with my boss, and he says there's no group called Team Aurabolt anywhere in this building, or in the entire volcano. Oh, and he says you have one minute to get out of here before he calls security to remove you by force."

The Rockets exchanged confused looks and turned on Wabbaku. "Wabbaku, what's going on?!" Jessie hissed. "I thought you said they were here!"

"They are," the shaman protested. "In fact…" He paused, listening to the spirits for a moment. "They say that they're right in this room!"

"Where?" James asked, hopping onto the rim of their basket and peering into the somewhat bemused crowd. "I don't see them anywhere!"

"Chiiiii!" Chimecho agreed.

"Hey, you! Lucario!" Mickey shouted, seeing Ash and the others quietly tiptoeing towards the exit before anyone could realize that _they_ were Team Aurabolt and blow their cover. Ash stiffened as the Meowth called to him, and a spotlight swiveled down to focus on the group, drawing everyone's attention to them and making it clear they had been trying to make a quick getaway. They paled, realizing that this might be the end of their mission. "Where do you tink you're going?!"

"Uh, well, we were just-" Ash stammered.

"Do you know where we can find a Lucario by the name of Ash?" James asked.

Ash paused. "…Wait, what?"

"We're looking for Team Aurabolt, and their leader is a Lucario named Ash!" Jessie said. "Since you're a Lucario too, it only stands to reason that you must know where he is!"

"…No it doesn't," Pikachu said slowly.

"Shut up, twerp!" Jessie shouted at him.

Ash and the others exchanged looks of surprise and relief, realizing that these intruders, whoever the heck they were, hadn't realized that _they_ were Team Aurabolt. Either their disguises were better than they had thought, or these 'Rockets' were just really stupid. Or both. "Uh, sorry, babe, you got the wrong team," Leo said.

"Yeah, we're the Fighting Four, not Team Aurabolt," Pikachu lied. "We've never heard of them before. Ever."

"Fighting Four? Then why are there five of you?" Gardenia asked.

"Yeah! Why are there five? Huh? Huh?!" Jessie asked accusingly.

"The Larvitar is our cheerleader," Sasha said. Tiny sucked on his pacifier.

"Oh, okay, that makes sense," said Buzz.

"But what kind of cheerleader can he be? He looks so quiet…" James said skeptically.

"He's going through a phase," Ash said.

"Oh. I remember when I went through something like that," James said sympathetically. "Poor thing."

"We're hoping he'll grow out of it soon," Pikachu said.

"And then he can become the fifth member of the Fighting Four! Which would make us the Fighting Five! Which would be totally awesome, yo!" Leo said.

"For real," Mickey agreed. "Can somebody let me down from here? I'm starting to lose feeling in my extremities."

Jessie huffed in frustration and whirled on Wabbaku. "Great, it looks as if your spirits are wrong again! You led us all this way for nothing! Arceus, I don't even know why I keep you around sometimes…"

Wabbaku stared at her incredulously, then grabbed her by a wing and tugged her over so he could whisper into her antenna. "Miss Jessie, that _is_ Team Aurabolt! They're all wearing disguises!"

"Disguises?!" Surprised, Jessie glanced at the so-called Fighting Four, who waved at her uncertainly. She scoffed and turned back to her subordinate. "Don't be preposterous, they can't possibly be Team Aurabolt in disguise!"

Wabbaku's eye twitched. "…And that would be why, exactly?"

"Because Ash doesn't wear glasses!" Jessie said triumphantly. "And that Lucario down there is wearing glasses, therefore he can't be Ash!"

Wabbaku facepalmed. "Miss Jessie, they could be _fake glasses._"

"And besides, the fur color is all wrong!" James said.

"He could have dyed it!" Wabbaku said.

"And what about the mustache?" Buzz said skeptically. "There's no way he could have grown a mustache that good-looking in the few weeks it's been since he and his team left Pokemon Square!"

"That could be a fake too!" Wabbaku yelled.

Buzz snorted. "A mustache _that_ nice? Preposterous! It's obviously genuine!" Wabbaku's eye twitched.

"And besides dat, everyone knows Ash always travels wit his best friend and brother, da Pikachu swordsmon Pikachu Thunderblade!" said Mickey. "And since dere's no Pikachu swordsmon here, dat clearly can't be Ash!"

Wabbaku stared at him in disbelief, then jabbed a finger in Pikachu's direction. "Then what do you call _that?!"_

"That's a Plusle," Jessie said slowly and gently, as if to a moron. Or James.

"A Plusle with a _sword!_" Wabbaku yelled.

The other Rockets nodded. "Yeah, so?" asked James.

"It doesn't seem the least bit suspicious to you that there's a Lucario down there with an electric mouse wielding a sword as a partner when we're _searching_ for a Lucario with an electric mouse wielding a sword as a partner?!" Wabbaku yelled.

"No," said Jessie.

"Not really," said Buzz.

"Should it?" asked James.

"Chiii!" said Chimecho.

"I'm hungry," Mickey complained. "Can somebody let me down so I can have a bite to eat? You haven't fed me since dis morning, and dangling for my life builds up quite an appetite in a Pokemon."

Wabbaku screamed in exasperation and started hitting his head against the side of the basket. The others ignored him, save one. "I believe you," Gardenia told him quietly, when nobody else was looking.

He smiled a little at that. "Thank you, Gardenia. That means a lot to me." She blushed heavily and tried her hardest not to squeal like a schoolgirl and pass out from joy.

"I don't believe it…they're actually falling for our disguises?" the astonished Ash whispered to the others as the Rockets started bickering about where to go to find Team Aurabolt, since Wabbaku's spirit advisors had apparently failed them and they had no idea where to look next. And the Meowth kept whining about how he was hungry and wanted a bath and to be let down from the rope, because he was tired of hanging from the underside of the balloon and felt icky and gross.

Pikachu nodded in agreement. "I'm as surprised as you are."

"Ha, I told you Tracey and my disguise skills were top-notch!" Leo boasted. He frowned. "But why aren't any of them talking about how I can't possibly be Leo DeKappa?"

"They might not have any idea who you are," Sasha said quietly. "It sounds as if they have been searching for Ash and Pikachu since they departed from Pokemon Square, and you, Tiny, and myself only joined the team more recently, so they would have no way of knowing about us unless they had been following us _very_ closely…which, obviously, they have not. And even if they _had…_" She sweatdropped. "Their collective intelligence is so low I'm not sure they would have figured it out, anyway. Except for that Wobbuffet, he seems pretty sharp. We should keep an eye on him…"

"Looks like he's the only sane mon of the group," Leo agreed.

"Who are these clowns anyway?" Ash muttered. "They seem very familiar, and not just because they remind me of someone I may have known in my original universe."

Pikachu frowned in thought. "They called themselves 'Team Rocket' during that…thing they did when they came through the ceiling. But they certainly don't seem like a Rescue Team. For one thing, they don't have badges. For another, they're obviously evil. Incompetent, but still evil. And…" He gasped. "Wait, now I recognize them! The Meowth with all that weird stuff on him is Mr. Giovanni's nephew! And I think the Mime Jr. is his boyfriend, I've seen them around town sometimes."

Ash snapped his claws in recognition. "Oh yeah, now I remember. And that Dustox applied for an apprenticeship under Nurse Joy and actually got accepted—a very rare thing—but got kicked out because of her lack of bedside manner and certain…incidents…with a few of her patients, right? And the Yanmega and Wobbuffet are always hanging around her for some reason, though I think they're from out of town. And isn't that Cacnea one of the neighbor's kids?"

"Now that you mention it, yeah," Pikachu said. "I think she's Cheryl's sister."

"As in, Crazy Cheryl? The treasure hunter with the obsession for honey and obeying very strange advice her nutty grandfather taught her?" Ash asked, remembering that one time Cheryl had broken into their house and gorged herself on some fresh honey they had gotten earlier that day.

Pikachu nodded. "That's the one."

Leo smirked. "Heh, sounds like you guys have a rather…_eclectic_ bunch of neighbors back home."

"And you don't?" Ash asked.

Leo frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Mrs. Watercress," Pikachu said flatly.

Leo grimaced. "Touché. Hey Sasha, you got any weirdoes near whatever cave you and your mate live in?"

"I don't really have many neighbors," Sasha said. "Mainly because we ate or killed them all." They gave her disturbed looks. "What? They would have done the same to us. And tried to, actually. Several times."

"Hey, you! Lucario!" Jessie shouted.

Ash turned around. "Yeah?"

"We've come to a decision," said the Dustox.

"Since we can't find Team Aurabolt here, we're just going to kidnap you and give you to the Boss instead!" James said cheerfully.

"Okay," said Ash. There was a pause. "Wait…what?!"

"You're going to kidnap A—I mean, Gonzales?!" asked the startled Pikachu.

"And the rest of you, too," Buzz said. "The Boss will be happy to have Pokemon such as yourselves in his possession."

"Yeah! I can just see him now…" Mickey said, getting a dreamy look in his eyes. "After a long, stressful day of running Team Rocket Da Boss will come home feeling all grouchy and irritable. But den his personal masseuse—dat's you, Lucario—will show up and massage out all da tense and sore muscles in his back using Aura so you can tell where everything dat's wrong is, leaving him feeling as fresh and relaxed as a daisy!"

Ash stared at the Meowth in disbelief. "…You're going to give me to your leader so that he can use my awesome fighting skills and control over Aura to _give him massages?!_"

"Yep!" said James.

"And that's just what we have planned for _you!_ Tell him what he'll do with the others, Mickey!" Jessie said gleefully.

"To save paying da electric bill, da Boss will use da Plusle to power his house so he doesn't have to shell out Poke' to dose greedy bastards at da power plant all de time, so dat he can keep da lights on all day, and watch as much TV as he wants, without having to worry about conserving power or destroying da environment or nuttin' like dat!" Mickey said happily.

Pikachu sweatdropped. "…So, instead of using my excellent swordsmonship, he'll turn me into a living generator…"

"And instead of listening to da weather service, da Boss can just use dat Absol's skill for detecting disasters to tell him if he needs to worry about any natural catastrophes on da way to work every morning," Mickey continued. "And with dat shiny Wartortle there in his bathroom, not only can he save Poke' by not needing to pay dose money-grubbing scumbags at da water company so he can take baths without paying a dime, but he'll also be able to see his own reflection in dat turtle's glossy shell every time he needs to shave or brush his teeth! And da Larvitar over dere will…um…show da Boss his sincere loyalty by cheering for him! Once he gets out of his silent phase…yeah." The heroes sweatdropped. "And when he sees all dese Pokemon we've brought him, he'll be so happy dat he'll say, ' For giving me all dese fine Pokemon, Mickey and his friends and handsome lover should be rewarded handsomely!' And den we will be!"

James applauded happily. "Yaaaay! I like being rewarded!"

"Me too!" said Jessie.

"Chiiii!" said Chimecho.

"You're all idiots," Wabbaku said bitterly.

Pikachu coughed awkwardly. "I'm starting to think that instead of fighting these guys, we should put them in a sanitarium…for their own good."

"And ours!" Leo said indignantly. "I'm not gonna be part of nobody's bathroom, yo!"

"Then you _are_ going to be part of someone's bathroom?" asked the confused Sasha.

Leo blinked. "Huh? No, no, what I meant was…oh, never mind."

"Yyyyeah, you guys are crazy…fortunately, none of your psychotic little fantasies will come true, because here's the security force to take you away!" the MC said cheerfully as several dozen black-suited Pokemon filed into the room. "What the heck took them so long, anyway?"

The Rockets gulped. "Yikes! There sure are a lot of them," Gardenia said anxiously.

"Fortunately, we came prepared for something like this!" Jessie said, tugging on a lever built into the side of the basket. "Get a load of this!"

Metal shutters with big red 'R's' painted on them rose up from the sides of the basket to the Meowth-shaped envelope, sealing the Rockets inside. Hatches opened on the sides and bottom of the basket and two red-gloved robot arms, two red-booted robot feet, and one red-tipped robot tail emerged. The bizarre contraption that was half hot-air balloon and half giant mecha landed with a great crash on the battle ring in the center of the room, slamming Mickey (who was still dangling from the bottom) face-first into the ground. "Ow! Hey, I'm still down here, you idiots! You forgot to pull me up!"

Everyone stared blankly at the so-called 'robot.' "Uh…okay, I'm pretty sure there's nothing about this in my contract…" the MC muttered.

"Ours either," said one of the disturbed guards. "I don't remember it mentioning anywhere that we have to fight some crazy balloon/robot thing…"

Leo shook his head. "That has gotta be the second stupidest giant robot I've ever seen."

"What was the first?" Ash asked.

"A giant robot bowling pin," Leo said. Ash's eye twitched. He felt certain he'd seen one of those before too…

"That _is_ pretty stupid," Pikachu admitted.

"Since nobody else here seems certain about fighting that contraption, I suppose it falls to us to do so," Sasha suggested. "Especially since it's _us_ they're after."

"Sounds good to me," Ash said. "Let's take them down!"

"Are you sure you're able?" Pikachu asked in concern. "You got some pretty bad hits fighting The Brock."

"It's nothing to worry about," Ash said, waving off his worries. "I'm fit enough to take on these losers any day of the week!"

"Let's kick some ass, yo!" Leo whooped as they ran for the ring, Tiny hopping off the bench and waddling after them when he saw that they were leaving. Not because he wanted to help them fight, but mainly because he'd rather be close to his caretaker Ash than left behind with all these scary dark-suited guard Pokemon.

"Hey, wait, that's supposed to be our job!" one of the guards protested.

"Oh, let them go," said another. "This should make for an interesting fight, shouldn't it?"

"Well, uh, it looks like we're going to be having a rather unorthodox and unscheduled match, folks! The Fighting Four and their cheerleader against Team Suck It!"

"That's Team Rocket!" James yelled from inside the armored basket.

"That's what I said, Team Pocket!" said the MC.

"No, _Rocket!_" said Mickey.

"Team Bucket?" asked the MC.

"ROCKET! ROCKET! ROCKET!" Jessie screamed.

James groaned. "Now I know how Boris feels." Back in Kanjohenn, Butch sneezed.

"Stop it, all of you! He's just trying to rile you up!" Wabbaku snapped. "We should ignore him and focus on what we're here for! As much as I disagree with it…"

"He has a point," Buzz admitted.

"Definitely!" Gardenia said, nodding fervently.

"Right, let's catch them and bring them to the Boss, then!" James declared.

"Chiiiii!" chimed Chimecho.

"Wahahahaha, this shouldn't be too hard!" Jessie giggled sort of evilly. "Take this!" The robot's hands shot out on cables, fingers spread wide to try and snatch up the heroes…

Until Pikachu drew his sword and severed the limbs with a pair of strokes quicker than the eye could see, that is. "Nice one, dawg," Leo complimented him.

"Gah! You weren't supposed to do that!" Jessie cried in surprise.

"Now we have no hands!" James complained.

"I've heard that in some countries, that's what they do to thieves: they chop off their hands," Wabbaku said casually, terrifying the others.

"We won't let that happen to us!" Jessie decided. "And it's not like this thing _needs_ hands, anyway!" A hatch opened on the front of the basket and fired a net at the group. Pikachu and Sasha easily tore it to shreds with a few Razor Winds and Vacuum-Cuts. "Okay, now I'm out of ideas…"

"We don't have any other weapons!" James cried.

Mickey groaned from where he lay on the ground, chewing and clawing at the ropes tied to him in an effort to get himself free so that he wouldn't get dragged across the rough floor by the mechanized balloon. "I knew we shoulda sprung for the deluxe edition with missiles…and laser beams!"

"These 'Rockets' aren't especially formidable, are they?" Pikachu commented.

"Goldeen Poop Gangs never are, yo," Leo said.

Ash crouched down and cupped his hands on the ground in front of him. "Hey Sasha, want a little boost to get rid of that ugly mug up there?"

Sasha nodded. "Gladly."

"Hey, my mug ain't ugly!" Mickey protested as Sasha ran towards Ash, who thrust her into the air the instant she stepped into his paws, launching her at the Meowth-shaped balloon envelope. "Jimmy says it's very handsome…and so does my Mom!"

"Yeah, she said the same thing to me last night…in bed!" Leo taunted.

Mickey gave him a confused look. "My mom told you I was handsome while you were at her bedside? What were you doing there, anyway?"

Leo facepalmed. "I'm starting to think my humor's too sophisticated for this crowd."

"You? Sophisticated?" Pikachu asked in amusement. Leo glared at him.

"We can't let that Absol hussy ruin our balloon! Buzz, Gardenia, Wabbaku, go and stop her!" Jessie ordered.

"How? I don't have any attacks other than deflecting things," Wabbaku said. "And I can't get up that high."

Jessie frowned. "Can't you use some shamanistic mumbo-jumbo juju spell on her?"

"No," Wabbaku said flatly, offended by how she was referring to his mystcal abilities as 'mumbo-jumbo juju.'

"Don't worry, my Queen! We'll deal with the Absol!" Buzz said. "Come, Gardenia!"

"OK," said Gardenia as one of the shutters opened and she and Buzz hopped out. "Wish me luck, Wabbaku!"

"I don't think luck will help you, I'm pretty sure we're going to lose," Wabbaku told her.

She glared at him. "Wow, you're a real well of sunshine, aren't you?"

"Am I the only one who's noticed that it's taking Sasha a really long time to hit the balloon, considering Ash threw her into the air a while ago?" Pikachu asked.

"Talking is a free action," Leo explained.

"What does that mean?" asked a confused Pikachu.

"It means that when characters engage in a meaningful dialogue or useful exposition—or comedy sequence—time slows down and an action that should have happened ages ago doesn't actually take place until after they're done talking," Leo explained.

"That…that doesn't make the least bit of sense," Pikachu protested.

"No, he has a point actually…I think we've seen this effect in action before, haven't we?" Ash realized.

Leo nodded. "Yeah, that's why not only has Sasha failed to hit the balloon yet, but those two guys haven't attacked her yet, even though they just set out to do that several seconds ago. We should probably do something about that, by the way."

"Right!" said Ash, rushing over to Gardenia and punting her across the arena before she could fire Pin Missiles at the airborne Sasha. Then he winced and clutched his foot, which was now full of needles. "Ow…I should have thought that through better."

Pikachu sighed and downed Buzz with a single Thundershock. "I wish the laws of physics would actually make sense now and then."

"If they did, I'm not sure creatures like us could actually exist," Leo pointed out.

"True," Pikachu admitted.

Sasha, who had been sailing through the air for the last several paragraphs, finally hit the balloon, tearing through the envelope with her claws and horn and ripping out the other side, causing all the air inside to come whooshing out through the holes she had made. The envelope rapidly deflated and drooped down all over the basket, covering it on all sides. "No, my beautiful face!" Mickey wailed.

"Ack! It's dark in here, I can't see!" Jessie cried.

"I'm afraid of the dark! Somebody hold me!" James wailed.

"Chiiiiiiiiiii!" Chimecho, who was also afraid of the dark, screamed.

The mechanized balloon, its pilots now blinded, lurched around in confusion, causing the rope holding Mickey, already weakened by the Meowth tearing at it, to snap, freeing him. "Now it's my turn!" said Leo, relieved to finally have a chance to do something. He fired an Ice Beam at the ground in front of the robot. It slipped on the ice and lost its balance, toppling over backwards. Mickey looked up in time to see the robot falling towards him, screamed, and quickly ran out of the way before he could be crushed. The robot hit the ground with a crash that shook the room and caused some more lights to fall from the ceiling, thankfully not on anybody (important). "Yatta! I rule!" he shouted as the crowd applauded, thinking the 'match' was now at an end. Tiny sucked on his pacifier and waved his arms, which Ash had tied little pompoms to, though he might have done it out of a desire to work his muscles rather than celebrating Leo's achievement, it was hard to tell with him.

"I thought you weren't going to use your catchphrase while we were in disguise," Pikachu whispered.

Leo sweatdropped. "Oh yeah, sorry…I forgot…"

The Rockets in the basket groaned, all heaped on top of each other due to their robot's violent collapse. "That could have gone better…" James moaned.

"Chiii…" Chimecho said weakly.

"I knew this would happen…" Wabbaku said with a sigh.

"Will all of you get off of me?!" Jessie shouted from her place at the bottom of the pile.

"Well, that certainly didn't take too long, did it folks? The Fighting Four are so strong they have no problem taking down some random challengers who showed up out of nowhere! Then again, they weren't exactly the toughest bunch around…" the MC said. "Oh, wait, what's this?! One of them is still moving!"

As this was announced to the room, Mickey pulled himself to his feet and glanced around, realizing he was the only Rocket still standing. He swallowed nervously, seeing that he was outnumbered. "Oh crap, what am I gonna do, what am I gonna do, what am I gonna do?! We're totally screwed now!" He froze, suddenly imagining the look on his uncle's face if he found out that he and his friends needed to be bailed out of jail…_again_. A determined expression formed on his face. "No…I ain't gonna let it end like dis! Da Boss would be so disappointed in me! If we're gonna lose, den I'm gonna take down as many of dem as I can before I draw my last breath!" He extended his claws and charged towards the main group, who were gathered around the balloon's basket as Ash ripped out the shutters with his bare hands so that they could pull the defeated Rockets out and give them to the authorities waiting just outside the ring. "YAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

He didn't notice Sasha, who had been standing nearby, extend a leg until it was too late. He ran over it, tripping and planting his face in the ground, accidentally cutting himself up on his own claws in the process. "Ow…maybe Jimmy's right…I should really trim dese things…"

Sasha wrinkled her nose in disgust and took a few steps back from Mickey. "When's the last time you took a bath?"

"I can't even remember…" Mickey groaned as he got up. "Though that also could be due to my brain not getting enough blood since I've been hanging from da underside of da balloon for most of da last forty-eight hours."

Wabbaku, who was being escorted out of the broken basket at swordpoint by Pikachu, gasped when he saw Mickey. "Mickey, no! My wards! They're broken!"

"Huh?" Mickey glanced down at his chest and saw that the bleeding cuts he had accidentally given himself ran right through several of the very intricate markings Wabbaku had painted on him, breaking the magical patterns the Wobbuffet had made on his fur. His face turned white with horror. "Oh no…"

Sasha frowned in alarm, not needing her disaster-sense to tell her that something very bad was about to happen. "Wards? What is he talking about?"

Leo gasped and smacked his forehead. "Oh crap! I can't believe I didn't see it earlier! Those things on his body aren't radical tattoos, they're magical symbols! They were designed to seal something evil within that Meowth's body, but now that they're broken, that thing is going to come out!"

"You know something about magic?" asked the surprised Wabbaku. "I'm impressed, most Pokemon wouldn't be able to tell all that just from a glance."

Leo smirked. "Eh, I read a lot on the subject in my spare time."

Ash and Pikachu exchanged alarmed looks. "A sealed evil? What kind of evil are we talking about here?" Pikachu asked.

"A very dangerous one…a demon that we inadvertently freed from a ruin outside of Turtle Town which possessed Mickey," Wabbaku explained. "I managed to suppress its power and keep it from taking over his body by painting those wards on him, but now that the spell is broken I fear that the demon will awaken and destroy us all!"

Ash, Pikachu, and Leo gasped, all getting a very bad feeling. "A demon from Turtle Town?! But that can only be…" Ash started.

"Mewgle!" Leo cried. "I _thought_ that nose looked familiar!"

"You know of this evil?" asked Wabbaku, surprised once more.

Pikachu grimaced. "We've…run into him before."

"Unfortunately," Ash groaned.

"I should've known we hadn't seen the last of that jerk…" Leo growled.

"Enough chit-chat! Wabbaku, isn't there something you can do to stop this before it's too late?" Jessie asked the shaman.

"Yeah, you were able to seal the demon inside Mickey before," Gardenia said, confident that the shaman she loved could do anything.

"Please Wabbaku, you have to save Mickey before it's too late for him and all of us!" James pleaded.

Wabbaku shook his head sorrowfully. "It's already too late! The evil is already awakening…even if I had long enough to mix up more magic paint—which I don't—I'd never be able to fix the wards in time! And I still don't have anywhere _near_ all the things I need to exorcise the demon…I fear we are all doomed."

"H-hey, aren't you all overreacting a little, guys?" Mickey asked anxiously as everyone backed several feet away from him. "I mean, it was just a few little cuts, it's probably not dat big a deal. In fact, I'm feeling fi-" He choked, bile rising up his throat as his nose began glowing ominously. His pupils shrank, and his body started convulsing violently. His eyes rolled back in his skull, showing only their whites, and he started speaking in tongues. His head spun 360 degrees, laughing maniacally as he slowly levitated into the air, his body dangling beneath him like a limp, twitching thing that twitches. James screamed and wet himself, Tiny hid behind Ash, Chimecho squealed and hid inside the basket, and everyone else tensed up, preparing for a fight.

Leo sighed. "Great, he's watched all the best horror movies too…typical."

Abruptly, Mickey's head stopped spinning, a grin so wide it actually seemed to be running ear to ear splitting his face. "_Hey there, boys and girls and Pokemon of all ages_," he cried in a high-pitched voice that was not his own. _"It's time for some fun and __**games**__! Gahahahahahaha!"_ He threw his head back and an endless torrent of darkness erupted from his mouth, rising high into the air and falling back down to earth as a wide shower that engulfed every inch of the ring, solidifying to form a swirling dome of absolute blackness encompassing the entire stage.

Everyone in the room stared at the dome. "Uh…well…I…" The MC paused. "I have absolutely no idea what just happened…"

One of the guards swore, ripped off his regulation sunglasses, and threw them to the ground. "Screw this, I quit! This shit isn't in my contract either!"

…

Team Rocket and Team Aurabolt found themselves…nowhere. Really, that was the best way to describe what was surrounding them. There was nothing but black nothingness in every direction…and yet, they couldn't shake off the eerie sensation that several somethings were watching them with far from benevolent intentions. James whimpered and hugged Chimecho so tightly the Wind Chime's eyes started bulging from their sockets, Tiny clung to Ash's leg while sucking rapidly on his pacifier, Buzz hovered protectively around Jessie, Pikachu had his sword out, Wabbaku was rummaging through his bag of spell components, Sasha was on high alert, and Ash and Leo tried scanning the place to see where they were. Much like the dampening field over Mt. Battle, however, the makeup of this place kept them from using their special detecting abilities to learn anything about where they were. "I don't like the looks of this place…" Pikachu murmured uneasily.

"That's a bit of an understatement," Sasha said, hackles raised and the fur on her back standing up. "I do not think we are wanted here."

"Good, then just point us to the exit and we'll get out of here as fast as we can!" James said frantically. He glanced around. "But…where _is_ the exit? And the balloon? And…everything else, for that matter?"

"Not here," Wabbaku said as he continued searching through his bag, looking for something that might help them. "The demon transported us to some sort of empty pocket dimension where it can toy with us at its leisure."

"It doesn't _feel_ empty…" Jessie said anxiously. "Am I the only one who feels like we're being watched by millions of things, some of which might not actually have eyes?"

"Don't worry, my Queen, I'll protect you from anything that might attack us!" said Buzz with a confidence that he did not feel.

"This really isn't good…" Ash said. "If Mewgle took us here, then he can't have anything good in store for us."

"Especially considering we're the ones who whupped his ass the last time," Leo said. "He's definitely gonna want revenge! Probably in another one of his twisted games." He grimaced. "I'm sure I'll be able to figure out how to beat it, but…I doubt it will be fun."

"That's right, you said you've tangled with the evil before, haven't you?" Wabbaku asked, glancing up at them. "You seem to know its name and habits."

"What happened when you fought him?" Gardenia asked. "What _is_ he, anyway?"

"His name is Mewgle. He's an ancient evil being that's been imprisoned in the ruins near Turtle Town for as long as anyone can remember," Leo told him. "We needed to get by him as part of a quest to defeat a dragon plaguing the village, and managed to defeat him in a game of his own making. He was a sore loser, though, so I had to blast him with my trusty blessed dice of St. Gygax to get us out of there in one piece!"

"A holy relic? Hmm, yes, that would explain why when we found the demon, it lacked its full power and was reduced to a nose…" Wabbaku murmured to himself. "Your dice must have destroyed his physical body, and he only managed to reconstitute his nose by the time we accidentally crashed in his lair…which Mickey foolishly picked up and placed on his face, freeing the demon from his prison and giving him a new body."

"Hey, it wasn't Mickey's fault!" James said defensively. "He's always wanted a nose like mine! How was he to know that nose was pure evil?"

"I SAID we were in the lair of a great evil, and all but told you not to touch anything!" Wabbaku shouted. "But you didn't _listen_ to me, and now look at the mess we're in!"

The other Rockets sweatdropped. "Sorry…" they mumbled.

"You _should_ be," the shaman growled.

"Holy dice, huh?" Jessie asked, flying over to Leo. "Do you think those could beat him again?" She was actually considering how much they would be worth on the black market rather then whether they'd be able to save her teammate, but she neglected to say that. She could always steal them later, after all.

Leo shook his head. "Normally, they might…but if he's inhabiting that Meowth's body, that means he can use his host's mortal flesh to shield his evil essence from the dice's holy power. It'd still hurt him, yeah, but not destroy him like before."

Pikachu grimaced. "That's annoying…and me without my usual sword, too." He was certain that, even if Leo's dice weren't enough, with his sacred blade in the mix they might have stood a chance. Unfortunately, said blade was still back in Treasure Town, and all he had was the rather ordinary sword he had bought last night after his other one had been broken fighting the Bronzong Brothers.

"You really do know quite a bit about magic and demonology," said the impressed Wabbaku. "More than I would have expected from…ah, someone who dresses and behaves as you do. No offense."

Leo smirked. "None taken! There's more to me than just bling and a shiny shell, yo!"

"Wow, it sure is convenient that we'd happen to run into the one group of Pokemon who's had experience with whatever's possessing Mickey right when said evil managed to gain complete control over him and capture us all while we got lost on our way to finding another completely unrelated group of Pokemon, isn't it?" James asked happily. "What an amazing coincidence!" Wabbaku and Team Aurabolt stared at him.

"He's not too bright, is he?" Ash murmured to the Wobbuffet.

"None of them are," Wabbaku lamented. "So, since you have had experience with this 'Mewgle,' what can we expect?"

"Games," Pikachu said with a hard face.

"And by games, we mean board games, video games, tabletop RPGs, etc," Leo said.

"Rather than just fighting it out like any regular person," Ash complained.

"Well, I'm not exactly a regular person, now am I?" Mewgle asked he descended from the void above them. They tensed as the demon floated down to them. In the short time it had been since they had last seen the fiend, he had made a number of cosmetic changes to his host body. Mickey's fur had turned white, a pair of purple Zubat wings grew from his back, his tail and ears had become longer and thinner, and his gold charm now dangled at the end of a tall, thin antenna stalk rather than balanced on his forehead. All the wards Wabbaku had painted on Mickey's body were gone, burned away by the demon taking full control of his host. Mickey's teeth were now longer, sharper, and jagged, his eyes were completely white and without pupils, and his red nose had gotten bigger and was glowing and throbbing malevolently. "Games have always been my favorite medium, and in my opinion are much more fun than boring old senseless violence! That's not to say that that sort of thing doesn't have its place, too…especially if it's allowed in the _rules_ for a certain game, or the right of the winner, anyway! Mwehehehehe!"

The others tensed, ready for a fight. "Mewgle!" Ash snarled. "I was hoping we'd never have to run into you again…"

"Which is too bad, because now we're gonna give you another trouncing!" Leo said.

"Give back my Mickey!" James wailed, trying not to cry. Chimecho had no such restraint, and was already sobbing and mewling piteously "I love him, and can't live without him! We were planning to get married someday, but I can't do that if he's possessed by you! Please give him back to the Pokemon that love him, namely, me!"

"You'd better do it, otherwise he's going to start crying, and things will get _really_ ugly from there," Buzz warned Mewgle.

"Give us back Mickey! We need him to do our motto properly! It won't be the same without him!" Jessie said.

"If he's gone, then _I'll_ have to take his part," Gardenia said unhappily. "And I'm not very good at singing…"

"That's right, she isn't," Buzz agreed.

"Release that Meowth at once and begone, demon!" Wabbaku said sternly.

Mewgle snorted. "I don't haveta listen to you, stupid shaman. Now that those annoying seals of yours are gone, I'm free to do whatever I want, and you can't stop me!"

"Oh no?" Wabbaku asked, reaching into his bag. "Not even an exorcism spell?"

Mickey laughed. "Ha! What exorcism spell? You know as well as I do that you don't have everything you need to remove me from this mortal's body by force!"

"Damn!" Wabbaku cursed.

"How'd he know that?" asked the surprised Gardenia.

"He must have access to Mickey's memories…not much of a surprise, considering that he's using Mickey's body for himself," Wabbaku said.

"He may not have a spell…but I have this!" Leo said, reaching into his shell and pulling out the dice of St. Gygax, which lit up with a blinding flash of light as they sensed Mewgle's evil.

The demon hissed in pain and flew back, shielding his face with his arm. "Aaaahhh…I'd forgotten how much those stupid things hurt…heh, but I'm afraid that's not gonna be enough. It stings, but not enough to make me want to leave this body. Sorry!"

"He doesn't sound very sorry," Jessie complained.

"He's a demon, Miss Jessie! I doubt he even has a conscience," Buzz said. "Much like you, actually, now that I think about it." She glared at him, not sure whether to feel flattered or insulted.

"That's right, I don't! That's why I won't feel the slightest bit of guilt when I kill you, then everyone in this building, then everyone in this entire friggin' volcano! Mwehehehe!" Mewgle cackled.

"What?! Why do you want to do that?!" Gardenia cried.

"Because he's a demon! Demons do that sort of thing for fun!" Pikachu said.

Ash nodded. "That's right! This one managed to trick a mother dragon into tyrannizing Turtle Town for almost half a decade to care for her children rather than simply asking them for help! Hundreds of Pokemon died as a result, and the blood of all of them is either directly or indirectly on his hands!"

"Good thing we put a stop to it," Leo said.

Mewgle scowled. "What?! You ruined my plan?! Dammit, that's the only diabolical scheme I've been able to concoct and put into play in years! Oh well, that's just one more thing I'm going to have to take revenge on all of you for."

"All of us?! But we had nothing to do with that!" Jessie protested.

"And the child and I weren't even there," Sasha pointed out.

"Maybe so, but all of you are Pokemon I want to take revenge on!" Mewgle said. He pointed at the Rockets. "_You_ destroyed my house and all my games!" He pointed at Ash, Leo and Pikachu. "_You_ destroyed my physical form and put a stop to the best fun I've had in years! Oh, and I especially hate you, Leo…it's you who will suffer the worst for what you have done to me!" He pointed at Sasha and Tiny. "And _you!_ Eh, you're collateral."

Sasha sweatdropped. "That's nice…" Tiny frowned.

"Hey, why am _I_ gonna suffer the most?! What did I do?!" Leo cried. "Other than beating you at your own game, and destroying your body, and being the instrumental Pokemon in stopping your manipulation of Tiama…uh, never mind."

"Wow, no wonder he wants revenge on you," said the impressed Jessie. "I'd want to kill you really badly too if you did something like that to me."

The other Rockets nodded. "That's right, she would," Buzz agreed.

"She can be extremely vindictive," James said.

"You could almost say she's a demon in mortal form," Wabbaku commented.

Ash sweatdropped. "What a wonderful womon…"

"Yeah, just like Misty," Pikachu agreed.

Ash's face turned red with anger. "Misty is NOTHING like that! She can be a pain at times, but she can also be very nice and sweet when she wants to!"

"Oh, I know that, I just wanted to see if you would admit it," Pikachu said.

Ash's face turned redder, and his friends laughed, while Tiny gave him a curious look, sensing a strange mix of emotions from his caretaker relating to this 'Misty' through their bond. "Is now really the time to be talking about this, guys?"

"No, it's not!" Mewgle said. "Because now I shall have my revenge with you…after I defeat one of you in a game, that is?"

"Why?" asked James.

"Wouldn't it be easier just to kill us all now?" Sasha asked.

"Shush, you'll give him ideas!" Pikachu hissed.

"Eh, I'd love to, but that's not how I do things," Mewgle said. "My power comes from games, so to kill you all—which is what I most desperately want to do—I need to beat you in a game! Those are the rules. And the one who I shall play against is…you, Leo!" Mewgle cried, pointing at the Squirtle. "Because it is you whom I despise the most!"

Leo sighed. "Right, because of all that stuff I did before?"

Mewgle sneered. "Oh, that's only the tip of the iceberg, Leo! You have _no idea_ of the full immensity of what you have done to me! Your recent thwarting of my plans is just the latest in a long line of defeats you have handed me over countless eons!"

"Huh?" said the confused Leo. "But I was only born a few years ago. I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Perhaps you fought him in a past life?" Wabbaku suggested. "Or several? I have heard of enemies waging war against each other across generations, reincarnating again and again to battle once more."

"Really? Then I might be Mewgle's eternal rival or something? Cool!" Leo cried.

Pikachu sweatdropped. "Only you would find something like that cool, Leo…"

"Don't you already have an eternal rival?" Ash asked, thinking of Chobin.

Leo shrugged. "Hey, there's no reason a guy can't have more than one rivals."

"I guess that's true," Ash admitted, getting the vague feeling that he had used to have more than a few as well.

"Exactly what game will we be playing?" Sasha asked.

"_We_ won't be doing anything," Mewgle sneered. "This game is between me and Leo! If I win, then I get to kill all of you and have my revenge!"

"And if _I_ win, you have to let us all go, and leave that Meowth's body!" Leo stipulated.

"Fair enough," said Mewgle.

"Wait, if he loses, we all die?!" Jessie screamed. James wailed and passed out. Chimecho drooled all over him.

"I'm afraid that's standard procedure for any dealing with demons, Miss Jessie," Wabbaku said solemnly.

"Uh, don't we get any say in this?!" Pikachu asked anxiously. "Because I don't really want to die…" The others nodded in agreement.

"No, you don't," Mewgle said flatly. "Now, let's see, what game shall we play…hmm…"

Leo snapped his fingers. "Ooh, I know! A shadowy otherworld for a battleground…a game with lives on the line…and rivals destined to reincarnate to battle each other over and over again…there's only one game appropriate for a time like this, and that's Lu-Gi-Oh!" He retracted his arms and head into his shell and started rummaging around. "Good thing I remembered to bring my Duel Disk and deck for just such an occasion!"

Mewgle shrugged. "Eh, I was gonna suggest rummikub, but that works too."

"What is Lu-Gi-Oh?" Sasha asked.

"I'm…not actually sure," Ash admitted. He glanced at Pikachu, who shrugged.

"It's a trading card game," James, who had regained consciousness when none of them was looking, said. "Where two players summon monsters and have them wage battles against each other, augmented with specialized spells and traps. It's spawned a number of anime, manga, and rather crummy video games."

The other Rockets stared at him in astonishment. "How did you know that?" Jessie asked.

James frowned. "What, you didn't think bottlecaps were all I collected, did you?"

"Got it!" Leo cried as he popped back out of his shell, holding a metal disk with a velcro strap on the underside, two 'wings' folded into its sides with strange panels on their tops and slots in their sides, and a large indentation holding a deck of cards and an electronic display on top. There was a second, smaller slot on the side of the disk over one of the wings that looked as if you could fit cards into it. "Good thing I sprung extra for the actual working version, rather than those cheap toys all the kids use!" He strapped the disk onto his left arm and powered it up, causing numbers to appear in the display and for the wings to unfold and snap together before sliding around so that they formed a long faintly glowing panel parallel to his limb.

"Oooooh," said James, Buzz, Gardenia, and, oddly enough, Sasha. Chimecho drooled and Tiny sucked on his pacifier, impressed.

"Wait, how did that fit in his shell?" Jessie asked.

"That's something we gave up trying to figure out a long time ago," Ash said.

"That's a pretty nice Duel Disk," Mewgle complimented Leo. "I don't have one of my own, though, so I'll have to improvise." He raised his left arm…and abruptly, the appendage started to convulse violently as they watched, the flesh contorting and crawling before their eyes. It swelled up grotesquely, a large dome-shaped bulge growing on top which abruptly split to reveal a burning demonic eye that blinked and stared at them balefully. The skin tore open at two spots at the base of the eyeball, forming mouths filled with glittering teeth. Spines burst out from the side of the arm with a disgusting ripping sound accompanied by blood spray. Membranes slithered up the sides of the spines, creating webbing that connected them together. All in all, it looked like Leo's Duel Disk, except organic. And disgusting. "Ahhh, that was nice."

The Pokemon below paled at this blatant abuse of Mickey's body. James passed out again, Buzz wet himself, and Tiny pulled out his pacifier and vomited all over Ash's feet. The Lucario had to bite his tongue to keep from throwing up as well. "Dude, that's sick!" cried Leo. "And oddly reminiscent of the Duel Disk Yubellsprout and everyone possessed by her used in Lu-Gi-Oh GX season 3."

"Yeah, that's where I got the idea from," Mewgle admitted. "And now for my deck!" He opened his right paw, and shadows converged into it from all over the void, coalescing to form a rectangular black mass. The darkness hardened and shattered, revealing a deck of cards, which Mewgle then inserted into the larger of the two mouths on his 'Disk.' "There we go! It's time to D-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-duel!" They stared at him. "What?"

"Get your game on!" Leo shouted. He and Mewgle each drew five cards, while Leo's display and Mewgle's eyeball flashed and the number 4000 appeared in each of them.

"Uh, just so I get this straight…to save our lives, Leo is going to need to defeat an ancient demon possessing a Meowth in a _children's card game._ Am I right?" Pikachu asked.

"I believe so," said Sasha.

Pikachu groaned and rubbed his forehead. "I miss the old days. When battles actually made sense. Why can't we just walk over there and hit him instead of this?"

"I doubt you'd even be able to make it that far," Wabbaku said. "Games like these are surrounded by powerful magic to keep players from being interfered with by outside forces. We can watch them and talk to them, but not approach them."

"Don't you know of some way we can skip all this, Wabbaku?" Jessie pressed the shaman. "Some spell or potion or incantation?"

Wabbaku shook his head. "Even if I did, Miss Jessie, I do not have all the ingredients…additionally; we are in a world of the demon's own making, where he has all the power. I doubt I could even get the first word of a chant out before being struck down. There is nothing we can do but stand aside and pray to the spirits that the turtle prevails over this evil."

"I'll pray," James said, recovering once more. "If it means getting my Mickey back…"

"Me too! Uh, praying, that is. Not to get Mickey back, but so we can get out of here!" Gardenia said, trying not to make it obvious that she only wanted to pray in hopes it would get her closer to Wabbaku.

"Standard rules! Each of us starts with 4000 life points and whoever gets to 0 first loses!" Mewgle declared. "And also, since this is rather obviously a Shadow Game-"

"Yeah, yeah, the monsters are real, so we feel the attacks as real damage," Leo said diffidently. "I've watched the show a million times, get on with it!"

Mewgle scowled. "Fine! Since this is my game, I get the first turn!"

"But I'm the one who suggested we play! And got my Disk out first!" Leo protested.

"Yeah, but I'm the demon of games, so there!" Mewgle said, drawing a card from his deck and adding it to his hand, so that he had a total of six. He grinned sinisterly when he saw the cards currently in his possession. _Mwhehehe…I couldn't have gotten a perfect opening combo if I had cheated!_ "I send Dungeon Master to my graveyard," Mewgle said out loud, putting one of his cards in the smaller second mouth on his 'Disk.' The jaws closed briefly, and there was a sound not unlike something being digested and a faint wail of agony. "Then I summon Dungeon Master's Girlfriend to the field!" He slapped one of his cards onto one of the membrane panels growing from his arm, and suddenly a humanoid creature that looked sort of like a Gardevoir or Jynx but more demonic with horns and wings and long legs and exposed skin rather than a dress appeared from out of nowhere before Mewgle. The numbers 1600/1000 briefly flashed next to it.

The bystanders started. "Wh-where did that come from?!" cried the startled Sasha.

"I don't know, but it's kind of pretty…er, not as pretty as you, of course, my Queen!" Buzz said quickly when Jessie glared at him.

"It's a hologram," James explained. "You know, an illusion of sorts. Whenever a card is played, the Duel Disk projects an image of it onto the field so everyone can see what it is and what it can do."

Pikachu frowned. "But Leo said something about how in this game; the monsters are 'real'…so what does that mean? Are they still holograms or actual flesh and blood?"

"Who cares?" Mewgle asked. "In addition to Dungeon Master's Girlfriend, since I already have one monster on my field I can special summon RPGenerator from my hand!" He put another card on a membrane, and suddenly a giant machine that looked sort of like a video game console materialized, the numbers 0/0 flashing next to it.

Leo frowned. "It has 0 attack and defense points…which means it _has_ to have some kind of nasty special power! Those kinds of cards always do!"

Mewgle smirked. "Very apt! RPGenerator can't attack on its own, but at the end of every one of my turns it remains on the field, it creates an RPG token! Once I have three RPG tokens out, I can sacrifice them to summon a monster of unparalleled power!"

"Then I'll just have to destroy those tokens _and_ your RPGenerator before that happens!" Leo cried in determination. Ash frowned, wondering why the term 'RPGenerator' sounded vaguely familiar to him.

"Ha, it's not even your turn yet! Though it will be in a moment. I lay two cards face down and end my turn," Mewgle said, putting the last two cards in his hand onto empty panels and causing two giant face-down cards to appear on the field. "And with the end of my first turn comes the birth of my first token!" The power light on the RPGenerator turned on, and the whole machine started humming and glowing ominously. It shook violently, and the lid on top popped open, ejecting a small creature that looked oddly like Mewgle in his original form. Much like its progenitor, the RPG token had 0 attack or defense points. "Cute little fellow, isn't he?" Mewgle said wistfully. "You know, I was actually created much like that thing was…"

"Huh? I thought you were a demon, not…uh, whatever that token's supposed to be," said the confused Leo.

"That's right, he is a demon, I can tell," Wabbaku agreed.

Mewgle frowned. "I'm a demon _now_…but I wasn't always…"

Leo raised an eyebrow, but Mewgle didn't elaborate. He shrugged and drew a card. "My turn!" He put the card in his hand and glanced at what he had available. The ends of his lips curled up when he saw one of the cards. _This is gonna come in handy later…_ he thought to himself. He picked that card from his hand and put it into his secondary slot, saying, "I send one card to the graveyard!"

"Which one?" Ash called.

"I'm not telling!" Leo called back.

"Mewgle told you which card he sent to the graveyard," Sasha said.

"Yeah, but it's optional, you don't have to say what it is if you don't want to, and I don't want to," Leo explained.

"Whatever, not like it matters anyway, I'm still gonna win," Mewgle said carelessly.

"We'll see about that! I summon one of my personal heroes, Teenage Mutant Ninja Squirtle Brad!" Leo said, slapping a card onto his 'wing' and causing a tall, muscular, humanoid Squirtle wearing a purple domino mask and wielding a long wooden _bo_ staff to appear on the field. It had 2000 attack points and 3700 defense points.

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Squirtles? Ooh, I love that show!" James squealed.

"Chiii!" Chimecho agreed.

Pikachu sweatdropped. "They have a show, too? And cards?! Oy…"

"Wait, if they have their own franchise, then why are there cards of them in a completely unrelated game made by another company?" asked a confused Jessie.

"Advertising purposes," James explained. "The company that owns the Squirtles paid the company that makes Lu-Gi-Oh cards to create cards in the image of the Squirtles to increase interest in the franchise. Lots of companies allow Lu-Gi-Oh to use licensed characters in their game. I hear there are even Dizzy-themed cards out there!" He pouted. "Too bad I don't have any…"

"Heh, is that what you're supposed to look like in a few years? No, wait, when you're that old, you're going to be fatter and as short as ever," Mewgle sneered.

"Maybe, maybe not, but you won't be around long enough to find out!" Leo said. "Teenage Mutant Ninja Squirtle Brad's special ability allows me to summon any other Teenage Mutant Ninja Squirtle in my hand, deck, or graveyard to the field, since the Squirtles are ninja brothers and never have to fight alone! And I just happen to have the complete set, so say hello to Teenage Mutant Ninja Squirtles Tom, Matt, and Leonardo!" Three more humanoid Squirtles appeared, all of them identical in build, but with different-colored masks and weapons. Tom wore red and carried three-pronged sais, Matt wore orange and had nunchaku, and Leo wore blue and had a pair of swords. They all had the same attack and defense points as Brad. "Leo there is the leader, and my namesake! Can you see the resemblance?"

"No," everyone said.

Leo scowled. "Well screw you! Each Squirtle gains a 500 point bonus for every other Squirtle on the field, and since I have all four brothers out, their attack points go up to 3500!" The displays next to the Squirtles all changed to show this. "And to make them even _stronger,_ I play the spell card Cowabunga!" He slapped down a card, which appeared on the field as an image of the four Squirtles skateboarding in a sewer while eating pizza. "This card gives each Squirtle 1000 _more_ points, boosting them all to 4500 apiece!" The Squirtles flexed their muscles and grinned as their attack points soared. "Now I can attack your Token, your RPGenerator, your Girlfriend, and you directly! If the first three attacks don't take you out, the last one certainly will!"

"Wow, does that mean Leo could win in only one turn?!" asked an amazed Ash.

"That would be most welcome," Sasha said.

"Yeah, then we'll all get out of here, and return James to normal!" Jessie said excitedly.

"No," James said, shaking his head. "One-turn wins almost _never_ happen. I'm sure the instant he attacks, Mewgle will spring some sort of trap on him that turns everything around and makes everything worse. That's how it always works on TV, anyway."

Pikachu raised an eyebrow. "I guess Leo's not the only one who can be genre savvy."

Leo frowned when he heard James' comment. "Hmm, good point. Thanks for saving me from making a potential mistake. After all, Mewgle _does_ have two face-down cards…yeah, it's gotta be a trap. Rather than attack, I'll have my Squirtles stay as they are and lay two cards face-down as well. They're strong enough so that he probably won't be able to destroy them with any monster he can summon…not yet, anyway."

"Darn," Mewgle growled as Leo did as he said he would. "There goes my brilliant plan…" He grinned fiendishly and drew a card. "Or _does_ it? Now that it's my turn, I activate both my face-down cards!" The cards on his field flipped up. One revealed a pimply-faced nerdish monster giggling evilly to himself while poring over a large cardboard foldout covered in charts, and the other showed the same monster dangling a screaming figure from strings like a puppet. "First is Dungeon Master's Screen! This spell card summons a wall which protects any monster or group of monsters that I choose for three turns, which just happens to be how long I'm going to need to create all my RPG tokens and sacrifice them to call out my mighty monster…therefore, I'll use it to protect the RPGenerator and any tokens it will create in the future!" A large foldout cardboard screen rose from the ground and surrounded the RPGenerator and RPG token already on the field. "This wall cannot be destroyed by any monster, monster effect, spell, or trap, and as such should keep the RPGenerator safe until it fulfills its purpose!"

"Damn! Now how'm I supposed to stop him from getting enough sacrifices to call that monster?!" Leo growled.

"Oh, and it doesn't end there!" Mewgle gloated. "My second card is Dungeon Master's Control, which allows me to temporarily take control of one monster on your field and have it attack any target of my choosing! And the monster I'll take control over is Leo! The Ninja Leo, not you, Leo."

Leo gasped as strings shot out from the Dungeon Master's Control card and wrapped around Teenage Mutant Ninja Squirtle Leonardo's hands, feet, and head, causing him to grimace in pain. "No, my namesake! I thought you were supposed to be resistant to mind control!" The Ninja gave him an apologetic look. Leo sighed. "Guess they forgot to make that one of your effects when they made a card out of you. And if you can attack any target…" His face paled as he realized the implications, and he reached for the button that would activate one of his own face-downs.

"I'll have your Leonardo attack…my Dungeon Master's Girlfriend!" Mewgle decided.

Leo's finger paused millimeters away from the button. "Huh?"

"Wait, why's he going to attack one of his own monsters?" asked the confused Ash.

"He must be up to something…" Pikachu decided.

James nodded. "Lu-Gi-Oh villains always are. They usually have funkier hair, though…and aren't possessing the love of my life!" He started sniffling. "Oh, Mickeyyyyy!" Chimecho started wailing too. The others sweatdropped.

"The ugly gay clown is right," Mewgle said, causing Jimmy to cry harder. "I _am_ up to something! Do you remember the monster I discarded during my first turn?"

"Yeah, Dungeon Master," said Leo. "Why?"

"When Dungeon Master is in the graveyard, Dungeon Master's Girlfriend cannot be destroyed in battle!" Mewgle explained. "The Dungeon Master protects her by not only destroying the monster which tries to defeat her, but also shields me from losing any life points if the attacking monster has really high attack power! Not only that, but Dungeon Master will then inflict damage directly to your life points equal to the attack points of the monster that tried to harm his sweetie!"

Leo gasped. "But my mon Leo has 4500 points! Which means…"

"Which means that YOU LOSE! GYAHAHAHAHA!" Mewgle cackled. "Now go, Leonardo, seal your player's doom! Attack Dungeon Master's Girlfriend!"

"No, Leo! Don't do it!" Leo wailed. Leo (the Teenage Mutant Ninja, not the player) clearly didn't want to, considering how hard he struggled against the strings pulling him and from the look of desperate determination on his face. But in the end, there was nothing he could do, and, moving jerkily in fits and starts like the puppet he was, he leaped towards Dungeon Master's Girlfriend, who smirked, knowing what was coming. Just before Leonardo could drive his swords through her heart, the ghostly image of Dungeon Master (looking the same as the pimply-faced monster on Mewgle's Spell cards) appeared before her. Leonardo struck the specter and bounced off, screaming in pain and exploding. The faces of the other Ninja Squirtles twisted with grief and despair.

"And now it's your turn! Attack him directly!" Mewgle shouted. "END THIS!" The ghostly Dungeon Master complied, opening his mouth and spewing a huge energy blast at Leo. (The player, not the monster, who was currently deceased.)

"This is bad, isn't it?" Ash asked unnecessarily.

"I do believe so," Sasha said bleakly.

"We're all gonna die! We're all gonna die!" Jessie screamed, shaking Buzz in terror.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! I don't wanna die!" James wailed.

"CHIIIIIIII!" Chimecho sobbed.

"No…" whispered Wabbaku, face ashen.

Gardenia took a deep breath. "Wabbaku, if we're really about to die, then there's something I want to tell you…"

Pikachu's shoulders slumped. "I can't believe it's really going to end like this…not going out in a blaze of glory or receiving a warrior's death in battle, but getting killed by a nerdy demon in a children's card game! Future generations of the Thunderblade clan will laugh at me for dying like this!"

"How can there be future generations if you're going to be dead?" Sasha asked.

"I have a younger sibling and another one coming along, they'll carry on the family name," Pikachu explained.

"Ah," said Sasha.

Tiny hugged Ash's leg. Ash smiled, warmed that the emotionally numb Larvitar was able to find a way to express how much he really cared for his paternal figure. It was a little late, though, considering that they were both about to die, but it was still nice that he worked up the courage to do this in their last moments.

Of course, Leo didn't really intend on this being the end. He wasn't going down that easily! "Nice try, Mewgle, but you've activated my trap card, Shell Shield!" Leo said as one of the face-down cards on his field flipped up to reveal a Ninja Squirtle hiding in its shell. "This card activates whenever I'm about to be hit by a spell, trap, or monster effect that would take away more than three thousand life points! The Shell Shield protects me, keeping me from taking any damage!" A holographic turtle shell appeared over him. The Dungeon Master's energy blast slammed into the shell and bounced off, doing no damage. The Dungeon Master snapped his fingers in frustration and vanished back into Mewgle's graveyard. "Unfortunately, this is a one-use spell, and after it's been used, it's removed from the game! So I can't use it some other time…when I would really need it…the rules suck sometimes." The shell vanished, and its card on the field shattered.

"Gaaahhh! Damn you!" Mewgle cursed, gnashing his teeth furiously.

The others sighed in relief. "That was close," Ash said, wiping away some sweat. He smiled when he noticed that Tiny was still holding onto his leg.

"Unfortunately, there will probably be more close moments like that in the future," Sasha warned them.

"At least this one's over with," Pikachu said. "And the longer Leo can survive, the less my chances are of dying a humiliating death! What would my father think if I went out like this?! He'd be so disappointed…or he'd laugh. I'm not sure which option is worse."

"We're not gonna die! We're not gonna die!" Jessie yelled, shaking Buzz.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY!" James cheered.

"Chiiiii!" said Chimecho.

"Praise the spirits! Was there something you wanted to tell me, Gardenia?" Wabbaku asked the Cacnea.

She turned red. "N-no, nothing important."

"You're a clever one, aren't you? But then again, you always have been…" Mewgle growled. "You got lucky this time, but luck will only carry you so far!" He smirked. "Especially since I end my turn…causing my RPGenerator to create another RPG token and bring me that much closer to my victory!" Presumably the RPGenerator did as he said, but it was hard to tell since it was hidden behind his screen. "And let's not forget that without their fourth member, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Squirtles' attack power drops by 500, reducing them all to 4000!" The Squirtles sagged slightly as a portion of their power left them and their attack points went down.

"It ain't over 'till it's over," Leo said, drawing a card. He smirked when he saw what it was. _This one'll be useful in the future too…_ "I place this card I just drew into my graveyard," Leo said, already formulating a strategy by which he could call upon both the cards he'd discarded in the future when he needed them most. "Then I play one of the Spell cards in my hand called Retcon! When I play this card, I have to put my entire hand in my deck, shuffle it, and draw five new cards!"

"A desperate move," Mewgle noted. "Your current hand must really suck!"

"I know, that's why I'm trying to get a better one!" Leo said, putting his cards back into his deck. His Duel Disk automatically reshuffled them, and he drew the five new cards on top. He grinned when he saw his new hand. _Perfect! Just what I needed!_ "Now I play the Spell Card Retgone!"

"Didn't you just do that?" Ash asked.

"No, I played Retcon, which is when previously established facts in a work of fiction are deliberately changed to suit the needs of the writer," Leo explained. "Whereas this is Ret_gone_, in which someone or something is completely removed from continuity altogether, effectively erased from existence."

"Oh," said Ash.

"So what does the card Retgone do?" Sasha asked.

Leo chuckled as the card appeared on the field, showing a picture of a caped superhero screaming as a giant eraser started rubbing him out. "Retgone allows me to target one card in my opponent's graveyard and remove it from the game! And guess which one I'm gonna get rid of?"

Mewgle gasped. "No! Not my Dungeon Master!"

"That's right! Say goodbye to your little friend!" Leo said as the Retgone card started glowing. Mewgle's 'Duel Disk' gurgled and vomited back up the Dungeon Master card, which exploded in midair. Dungeon Master's Girlfriend's jaw dropped, a horrified look on her face. Perfectly understandable, since she had just seen her boyfriend bite it. "And with Dungeon Master gone, his skanky girlfriend is wide open! Go, Teenage Mutant Ninja Squirtle Tom, avenge your brother and occasional rival by killing that bitch! Since you're still empowered by Cowabunga and your other brothers, you're not only strong enough to beat her, but also inflict some serious pain on that asshole Mewgle!" Tom grinned and twirled his sais as Dungeon Master's Girlfriend gave him a nervous smile. Tom smiled back rather nastily and lunged at her, slashing out with his daggers. The Squirtle sliced her neck open, causing her eyes to go blank right before she exploded.

Mewgle screamed in agony and clutched his chest as his life points decreased to 2400. "Uhhh…curse you, Leo…I hate you so much…"

James gasped. "Mickey! What did you do to him, you stupid turtle?!"

"Yeah, we want you to beat him, not hurt him! Much," Jessie said.

Wabbaku sighed. "Weren't you listening earlier? In this Duel, all damage is felt by the players. When his monster was destroyed, Mewgle felt the same pain she did…minus the part where her neck was cut."

"That's kinda creepy," said the disturbed Gardenia.

"It's dark magic," Wabbaku said. "It's rarely anything better."

"Then what happens if Leo gets hit really badly?" Pikachu asked in concern. "He's toughened up a lot since we first met him, but I'm not sure he can take as much pain as the rest of us can."

"We'll just have to hope nothing hits him too hard…" Ash murmured. "And naturally, now that I've said that, something bad will happen eventually, won't it?"

"We've been hanging out with him too much," Pikachu lamented.

"Is that such a bad thing?" Sasha asked.

"It is when reality starts behaving more like it would in fiction than it should in real life," Pikachu said. "As a result of our being around him too much."

"I don't see that as a bad thing," Sasha said. "After all, in most stories, don't the heroes win in the end?"

"She makes a good point," Pikachu admitted. "Let's hope this Duel will end like those stories do."

"Most Duels on TV end with the good guys winning," James said. He frowned, a troublesome thought occurring to him. "But we're bad guys too, even if we're not as bad as Mewgle! What'll happen to us? And to Mickey?!"

Pikachu sweatdropped. "I think you're overthinking this."

"You really are, especially since I'm the one who will win in the end!" said Mewgle. He grinned at Leo. "After all, while you may have managed to land a good hit…are there really any cards in your hand that can take down my Dungeon Master's Screen defense?" Leo glanced at his hand and grimaced. He had a hand that might make a good combo later, but nothing of use at the moment. Mewgle chuckled. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

"I may not have anything now…but I still have one turn left!" Leo pointed out. "Since you won't get your final token until the end of your next turn, so won't be able to summon your super monster until the turn after that! There's still a chance I can turn everything around. After all, one draw can make all the difference, right?"

Mewgle sighed. "I suppose so…but you realize that works both ways, don't you?"

"Unfortunately…" Leo muttered, glancing at his hand again. "There's nothing else I can do just now, so I end my turn."

"Very well." Mewgle drew a card. He glanced at it and grinned sinisterly. "I throw down one face down card and end my turn!" The RPGenerator glowed and produced one final RPG token.

Leo blinked. "Huh, that was fast." He reached for his deck…

"Not so fast! My Spell card activates!" Mewgle cried as the card he had just played suddenly flipped up, revealing the words 'Skip Turn.' "You were right, Leo, one draw _does_ make all the difference! This card is called Skip Turn, and only activates when the turn I set it down in is over! This Spell allows me to skip your turn and immediately go to my next turn!"

Everyone gasped. "Wh-what?! You can't do that!" Leo cried.

"Isn't that cheating?!" Ash asked.

"Actually, no, I think it's legal…unfortunately…" James said anxiously.

"But if it's his next turn already, and he has three RPG tokens, then…oh no…" Wabbaku whispered, his face going pale.

Mewgle cackled as he drew a card. "That's right! First off, my Dungeon Master's Screen wears off…but it's too late for anyone to do anything about it!" The screen faded away, revealing the RPGenerator and three RPG tokens, all of which had grins identical to Mewgle's on their faces. "And now that I have my three tokens, I can sacrifice them to summon any monster from my deck licensed by a company that makes RPG video games…and I'm going to bring out the biggest and baddest of them all!"

"This can't be good…" Pikachu murmured.

"No, it's not! I release my three tokens," Mewgle said as all three of his RPG tokens vanished in a flash of light. "To summon the greatest of villains…"

The void, if it were possible, actually grew _darker._ Ominous Latin chanting could be heard, accompanied by what sounded like an entire orchestra and choir. Leo's blood froze, thinking that the tune sounded very, _very_ familiar. A beam of light shot down from on high, impacting in the ground before Mewgle and causing a blinding explosion. As smoke wafted up around the demonic Duelist, a towering dark figure strode out of the flames caused by its arrival. Leo's jaw dropped in horror and disbelief when he saw his opponent. "No…" he whispered. "Not…not _you_…"

"What…_is_ that?" asked an astonished Ash. Tiny's eyes widened in awe, and his pacifier fell out of his mouth.

"That's…incredible," said a stunned Pikachu.

"Impossible," Sasha gasped.

"Spirits preserve us," cried Wabbaku.

"Please preserve us, spirits!" Gardenia wailed.

"No! Not that one! It's one of the strongest monsters in the game! We're all done for!" James shouted.

"CHIIIIIIII!" Chimecho wailed.

"What a dreamboat," Jessie said, eyes turning into hearts. "And I'm not even into humanoids!" Buzz growled.

Mewgle's newest monster was a tall, dark-skinned human wearing a long white coat with metallic pauldrons. Very long golden hair flowed down his back, blown about by the flames behind him. A single white-feathered wing grew from his back. In one hand he held a sword longer than he was tall. His features were handsome, but twisted with hatred, his mouth pulled into a tight slasher smile and his bright green eyes glowing eerily. Mewgle threw back his head and laughed and laughed and laughed. "BEHOLD THE ONE-WINGED ANGEL -- SEFIROT!"

Leo's pupils dilated as he recognized one of the greatest video game villains of all time. "No…NO…NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he screamed, his mind reeling back to a traumatic memory he had buried long ago, and tried desperately to forget.

A few years ago…

A younger (and slightly chubbier) Leo was about halfway through Last Legend VII, widely acknowledged as one of the best video games of all time and certainly the crown jewel of the Last Legend series. He had reached the City of the Ancients while pursuing the sinister Sefirot to the fabled Promised Land in the north, and after spending the night there, the main character Cumulonimbus had awakened, thinking he heard someone calling him. Leo had guided Cumulonimbus down a hidden staircase in one of the buildings to a magnificent crystalline city in a subterranean lake, where he found Aerith, one of his favorite characters and party members (who had vanished mysteriously some time before the group had reached the City, prompting the party to chase after her in hopes that they could find her before she did something stupid like fight Sefirot by herself) kneeling on a brightly lit dais, eyes closed and hands clasped in prayer. "Oh, hey, it's Aerith! I was wondering where she was!" Leo said in relief. "Now I don't have to worry about her dying in some well-meaning but foolish attempt to stop Sefirot or something. Wonder what she's praying about…and…" He frowned. "Hey, wait, why's Cumulonimbus walking towards her and drawing his sword?"

He gasped and desperately tried to stop Cumulonimbus by fiddling with his control, but it was a cutscene so there was nothing he could do. Fortunately, Cumulonimbus's friends had caught up to him and were trying to stop him from doing something he would regret for the rest of his life. "Cumulonimbus!" shouted Sid, the lovable foul-mouthed chain-smoking airship captain.

"Stop it!" bellowed Beret, the hulking heavily-muscled man with a gun for an arm.

"Ugh…what are you making me do…" Cumulonimbus grunted, struggling to regain control of his body. Finally, he managed to lower his sword. All the characters onscreen relaxed, as did Leo.

"Phew," said the relieved Squirtle. "That was-"

And that's when Sefirot dropped down from above and impaled Aerith through the back with his massive sword. Leo's heart stopped. Aerith gasped. Sefirot smiled and withdrew his sword. Aerith slumped to the floor, her hairband breaking and her braid unraveling. A round white stone fell off, bounced across the ground, and fell into the water.

Leo's jaw dropped. The enraged Cumulonimbus and the smug Sefirot had a conversation onscreen, but he was too stunned to notice. "No…NO…AERIIIIIIIIIITH!"

Back in the present…

"AERIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITH!" Leo shouted, eyes wild and foaming at the mouth. "YOU BASTARD! YOU KILLED HER!"

Mewgle laughed. "What, you cried when she bought it? Loser! It was all for the better, that stupid hussy was just getting in Cumulonimbus's way, and with her gone, he was free to be with his _true_ love!"

"Who, Tafi?" Leo asked, thinking of Cumulonimbus's kickboxing childhood friend.

Mewgle gave him a weird look. "Tafi?! What kinda weird fanfic have you been reading?! No, I'm talking about Vlad!"

Leo stared at him in disbelief. "…Vlad. The emo gothic vampire wannabe who got that horrible spin-off game Drudge of Cerberus. You think _he's_ Cumulonimbus's true love?!"

"Well yeah, isn't it obvious? They're both so totally emo and weepy about their pasts!" Mewgle said. "And didn't you see their interactions in the Advent Infants movie? _Definitely_ some unresolved sexual tension! They're so totally in love."

Leo shook his head slowly. "You really _are_ twisted."

"Well, _duh_, I'm an evil demon, you know," Mewgle pointed out.

Leo frowned. "Well, I don't care if you've just summoned one of the baddest bad guys of all time, that just gives me more motivation to take him down! I'll destroy your Sefirot and avenge Aerith!...Though technically I already did that in the game…and I downloaded a mod to add her back to my party, though it changed other characters' appearances and dialogues to hers so I didn't have to lose her. Yeah..."

Mewgle gave him a disturbed look. "And you call _me_ twisted?"

Leo flushed. "Sh-shut up, man!"

"…Does anyone have any idea what the hell they're talking about?" asked a very confused Pikachu.

"No," everyone else said.

Pikachu sighed. "Yeah, that's what I figured."

"Where's that ominous Latin chanting coming from, anyway?" Ash asked, looking around to try and find the source of the singing.

"I don't know, but it's a pretty awesome tune," said James. He started to sing along with it. "_Estuans interius ira vehementi, estuans interius ira vehementi, Sefirot! Sefirot!" _Chimecho chimed along with him.

"Please stop, your voice is giving me a headache," Jessie complained.

James pouted. "Mickey always said I have a good singing voice."

"He lied," Jessie said flatly.

"Your Sefirot is pretty strong," Leo admitted, glancing at the display next to the One-Winged Angel, which showed he had 4000 attack points and 2000 defense points. "But while 4000 attack points is pretty high, he's still only equal to my Ninja Squirtles! You can't attack them without causing a tie!"

Mewgle grinned. "Oh no? I play a Spell card, Jehova Boost!" He placed a card on his 'disk,' causing a large syringe full of a glowing chemical to appear on the field. "This Spell card gives Sefirot an injection of J-cells from his mother, the alien monster Jehova, giving him an extra 500 attack points! That's more than enough to destroy one of your Squirtles!" The syringe stuck itself into Sefirot's arm. The plunger pushed down, injecting the chemical into Sefirot's veins. The angel's face twisted in pain and he clenched his eyes shut as his muscles contorted. A dark aura formed around him, and abruptly his eyes shot open, glowing even brighter than before. A malevolent smirk formed on his face. "Now, Sefirot…attack Teenage Mutant Ninja Squirtle Tom! Make him pay for killing my girlfriend!"

"I thought she was DUNGEON MASTER'S Girlfriend," Leo said suspiciously.

Mewgle's face turned red. "Er, uh, yes, that's, ah, exactly what I meant!"

Leo smirked. "Ha! And you were ragging _me_ about having an unhealthy crush on a fictional character?"

"I'm a demon, of course I'm hypocritical if I want to be!" Mewgle snapped. He paused, seeing that Sefirot was giving him a confused look. "Oh, just kill Tom already!"

Sefirot shrugged, raised his sword, took a few steps forward, and thrust it at Tom. The blade was so long that Sefirot was easily able to pierce Tom's stomach from the other side of the field, causing the Squirtle to gasp in pain and explode. His brothers' jaws dropped in horror, and Leo ground his teeth and clutched his chest, shivering as his life points decreased to 3500. "Uhhh…"

"Leo! Are you all right?" cried an alarmed Ash.

"That looked like it hurt," Pikachu said in concern.

"Even though he wasn't actually touched by anything…" said the puzzled Sasha.

"Ugh…I'm okay…it was just a scratch…" Leo grunted. "Heh, some of the other guys we've fought in this tournament have hit me harder than that!"

"Is that so? When I'm through with you, you'll be begging me for mercy! And I won't give it, naturally," Mewgle said, a dreamy look in his eyes. "Ah, I can just see it now…your broken body lying on the floor, blood oozing from every orifice, your limbs dismembered, your shell cracked open, your eyes gouged out, your tongue ripped out, your flesh burned off, your vital organs torn out of you…and all the while you'll still be alive, up until the point where I tire of torturing you and just kill you. And then I'll probably hang onto your soul for a while and keep playing with it so I can make sure you won't reincarnate and defeat me again in the future."

Everyone gave Mewgle shocked looks. "Dude, what did I do in a past life to make you _this_ pissed at me?!" Leo cried.

"You really want to know?!" Mewgle snarled angrily.

"Yeah, kinda," said Leo.

"Well, too bad! I'm not telling!" Mewgle said, sticking out his tongue.

Everyone sweatdropped. "Considering Mewgle's level of maturity—or lack of it--I'm starting to wonder if the grievous wrong Leo did to him was just something stupid like forgetting to pay back some lent money or causing him to spill his ice cream, and he's just taking everything out of proportion," Pikachu complained.

Wabbaku nodded in agreement. "Demons have been known to engage in disproportionate retribution from time to time."

"What's disproportionate about that? I'd certainly do the same thing to anyone who caused _me_ to spill my ice cream!" Jessie said angrily. The other Rockets stared at her in fright and slowly backed away.

"Your suffering has only just begun, Leo! My attack isn't over yet! By sacrificing one monster, I can activate Sefirot's special ability and destroy all face-up cards on your field! And since I don't need it any longer, I see no problem in sending RPGenerator to the graveyard!" Mewgle said. The RPGenerator vanished in a flash of light, and Sefirot started glowing with a dark aura again. "Now, Sefirot, destroy EVERYTHING! Well, everything except for that face-down card, that is."

Sefirot grinned viciously and did as he was bade, standing in place and swinging his sword through the air before him. Matt and Brad blinked in confusion…and then their torsos fell off, severed from their lower body. They exploded seconds later, followed by the Cowabunga card. "No, my childhood heroes!" Leo cried. He paused. "Wait, why didn't you just use that effect earlier, and _then_ attack me, when I would have been wide open? You could have won the Duel!"

Mewgle paused. "Because…I wanted to prolong your torment! Gwahahaha!"

Leo raised an eyebrow. "It never occurred to you, did it?"

"No," Mewgle admitted sheepishly. The others facefaulted. "But I won't make that mistake in the future! Next turn, you're toast, Leo!"

Leo smirked. "Yeah, I don't think so, especially…" He paused, drawing a card, as it was now his turn. He grinned. "Because thanks to you, I now have everything I need to put Sefirot out of action!"

Mewgle started. "Huh?!"

"Since I have no monsters on the field, I can special summon another one of my favorite superheroes from my hand: Spinarak Man!" Leo said, slapping a card onto his Duel Disk and causing a new monster to appear. This one looked like a human wearing a skintight green costume covered in webbing patterns. His arms and legs (of which he only had two of each, unlike real Spinarak) were yellow with black stripes on the elbows and knees. A black 'smiley face' was on the back of the man's costume, and a small black Spinarak silhouette was on his chest. His green mask had a small spike growing from the top, large black-rimmed white eyes, and fake pink mouthparts.

"Hey, wasn't he in a movie?" Ash vaguely recalled.

"Three of them, actually," said James. "Though the third one kind of sucked."

"Yeah, it did, didn't it?" said Gardenia.

"I'm confused. Is that a Spinarak who looks like a human, or a human that is dressed as a Spinarak?" asked the perplexed Sasha.

"Uh, good question," Pikachu said. Tiny sucked on his pacifier.

Mewgle scoffed when he saw that Spinarak Man had only 1600 attack points and 1350 defense points. "Ha! How's a hero that wimpy going to defeat my mighty Sefirot?"

Leo smirked. "Villains always underestimate Spinarak Man…and that's part of how he always manages to beat them! First, I play the Equip Spell card Web-Shooter!" A metal band with a small nozzle on it appeared on Spinarak Man's wrist. "When I equip this onto Spinarak Man, he can use his famous web-slinging powers to force one monster on the opponent's field into defense mode!"

"What? No!" Mewgle cried as Spinarak Man clenched his fist and fired strands of gooey webbing at the surprised Sefirot, creating a big white cocoon that encased the villain from neck to ankles. Sefirot struggled and tried to break free from the cocoon, but he couldn't get his sword up with his arm tied to his side, and his wing was crushed painfully against his body, so he was stuck in place. He grunted and toppled over as he lost his balance, switching into defense mode. Mewgle growled. "Not bad…but Sefirot's defense points are still too high for Spinarak Man to beat him!" _Not to mention that, even if they were, Sefirot is _far_ from helpless even when stuck in defense mode…_he thought to himself.

"That's why I play THIS!" Leo said, putting another card on his Disk. It appeared on the field, showing a picture of Spinarak Man reaching out desperately for an attractive (for a human) woman being pulled away from him by a huge red demonic hand. "One Last Day! This spell card gives Spinarak Man 1000 extra attack points, thanks to the rage he receives at remembering how utterly screwed he was in the recent One Last Day storyline in his comic, when Miracle's new idiot EIC decided to destroy Spinarak Man's life so he'd be more 'hip' and 'cool' as a young bachelor staying with his aging aunt by forcing Spinarak Man to sell his marriage to the demonic Topheles!"

"What? What kind of hero would sell his marriage to a demon?!" asked an astonished Pikachu. "I would never do that!"

"Yeah, I can't see what possible reason any hero would have to do that," Ash agreed.

"I would kill my mate if he ever found out he did something like that to me," Sasha said.

"I would _never_ sell my relationship with Mickey to a demon!" James said. He sweatdropped. "Though technically I suppose it's a little late for that…"

"Whatever reason he sold his marriage for cannot possibly have been worth dealing with demons," Wabbaku said. "They can never be trusted! Just look at where we are now because of one of those Abyssal creatures!"

"Yeah, what was he thinking?" Gardenia asked, secretly thrilling inside when she heard Wabbaku's opinion on this matter. That meant that if he ever got married (hopefully to her), he'd never give the womon he had chosen up for anything, not even a demon! How romantic…she smiled blissfully at the thought.

"Hmm…I don't know…I might sell my marriage if it was worth my while…" Jessie said, causing Buzz to start sweating and reconsidering his hopes for a relationship with her.

Mewgle sighed happily. "I loved that storyline, personally. Topheles is such a fiend! I aspire to be as devious and evil as him someday…and trick some poor fool into gambling his marriage away in a game like this. Destroying a loving relationship is the sort of thing demons like myself earn a lot of prestige from! Not to mention it makes us feel all warm and fuzzy inside to break people's hearts and completely destroy their lives."

"Yeah, that's not gonna happen anytime soon," said Leo. "Spinarak Man's fury at how badly the Miracle EIC ripped him off makes him strong enough to take out Sefirot!" Spinarak Man clenched his fists and roared angrily, a burning aura of rage forming around his body and causing his attack points to rise to 2600.

Mewgle hid his grin and tried not to laugh. _What the fool doesn't know is that Sefirot has a special ability that allows him to instantly destroy any monster that attacks him in defense mode!_ _And once that stupid bug's out of the way, I'll be able to bring Sefirot back into attack mode next turn and finish Leo off, finally having my revenge!_

His plans were ruined, however, when Leo announced, "But before that, I play one more Spell card: Cryonic Sleep! This freezes one monster on my opponent's side of the field and prevents it from using any special abilities or effects during this turn! I'm savvy enough to know that a monster like Sefirot's gotta have more special powers than the one you showed off earlier, so I'm gonna take precautions to make sure he can't do anything to screw me or Spinarak Man before we make our attack!"

Mewgle's eyes bulged from their sockets. "Gah! How did you know?!"

Leo smirked. "Heh, you just told me! Though I had my guesses…" Mewgle swore as Sefirot was frozen in a block of ice, preventing him from using his power to destroy any monster that attacked him in defense mode and leaving him completely helpless. "Now, Spinarak Man, destroy Sefirot! I know he's not that bastard EIC whose face you want to punch in, but it'll be satisfying taking him out nonetheless!" Picturing the face of his most hated foe over Sefirot's, Spinarak Man nodded, and then charged towards the frozen angel, howling a war cry. He punched Sefirot, putting all his strength behind the blow and causing the villain to shatter in a brilliant explosion. Leo took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "Aerith, I've avenged you…again…"

The others cheered. "Awesome!" said Ash.

"Way to go, Leo!" said Pikachu.

"A marvelous strategy!" said Sasha. Tiny sucked his pacifier in agreement.

"At this rate, Mickey's as good as saved!" James said happily.

"Chiiii!" said Chimecho.

"A pity…" Jessie said sadly. "He was so beautiful, too." The other Rockets sweatdropped. Only Wabbaku did not join in with the jubilation of his peers, certain that this fight was not over yet.

He was right. Mewgle cried out in pain and clutched his chest as his life points went down to 1800. Much to their surprise, he started _laughing._ "Hehehehe…hahahahaha…GAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

A chill ran down Leo's spine. "Oh crap…that can't be good. Either he's having villainous breakdown—rather early in the Duel, too—or he's got something _really_ nasty in store!"

It turned out to be the latter. "You _fool!_ Do you have any idea what you've just done?!" Mewgle asked eagerly. "Someone as well-versed in video games as you should know that the final boss almost _never_ goes down after one fight, and has at least one additional, far more powerful form to battle before the ending!"

Leo gasped. "He's right! But… that must mean…" His eyes widened. "Oh no…"

"That's right!" Mewgle cackled triumphantly. "By destroying One-Winged Angel – Sefirot, I can automatically summon his other, most powerful form to the field!" The void started shaking ominously. Don't ask me how it could do this since it was a void, it just did, okay? Mewgle threw back his arms as if in welcoming. "Come forth, my ultimate beast, herald of my rival's doom! Behold the end, and say hello to…" The ominous Latin singing in the background grew to a fevered pitch. A pillar of light shot down from far above. A massive, radiant figure gracefully descended through the pillar until it was hovering just above the playing field. The light vanished, but the being continued to glow, only making it clearer to everyone looking on just how powerful it was. "HEARTLESS ANGEL – SEFIROT!"

Jessie promptly sported a nosebleed—despite not having a nose—and passed out. Buzz turned green(er) with envy. James trembled in fear, but couldn't help admitting to himself that the monster _was_ kind of hot. Gardenia whimpered in terror as the horrified Wabbaku whispered prayers to his spirits. Ash, Pikachu, and Sasha exchanged worried looks. Tiny sucked on his pacifier. Leo summed up all their feelings with a simple, "Ah, fuck."

Sefirot's new form was as beautiful as it was terrible. Sefirot had been almost completely transfigured from a human to something…else. While he looked about the same from the waist up, save for the act that he was now wearing no clothes so that his finely honed muscles were showing off, his lower body had been replaced by six great flapping demonic red and black wings. His right arm had also turned into a wing, but this one was white and rather angelic, like the wing from his previous form. His hair flowed up like a golden ribbon in the air behind him, backlit by a pair of interlinked silver haloes floating behind his back. He had a whopping 6000 attack points and 4000 defense points. "You certainly are fucked, Leo," Mewgle said gleefully. "Sefirot's second form is one of the most powerful monsters in the game! Not only does he have a wicked cool special effect, but he also cannot be destroyed by any monster, special effect, spell or trap card!"

"That's broken!" a horrified James cried.

"I know!" Mewgle said ecstatically. "Why do you think it's been banned in just about every official tournament?"

"Uh, what kind of special effect are we talking about here?" Leo asked anxiously, though he had a sneaking suspicion he already knew what it was, if the monster was anything like the villain it was based off of.

"It's quite simple," Mewgle said as he drew a card. (It was his turn, after all.) "By forfeiting my battle phase this turn, Sefirot can use his Heartless Angel special effect to instantly reduce your life points to 1!"

"To 1?!" Ash cried.

"That's just an inch away from losing!" Leo realized.

"Will he even be able to play with just one life point left?" Sasha wondered.

"Why don't we find out? Sefirot, get him!" Mewgle commanded. Sefirot grinned nefariously and spread all seven of his wings, an evil glow surrounding him. A second later, that same glow engulfed Leo, and he screamed at the top of his lungs and fell to his knees, clutching his chest as he convulsed and shook in pain while his life points dropped down to 1. "Aaaahhh…aaaahhhh…AAAHHHHHH!"

"LEO!" his friends shouted.

"Hahahaha! How does it feel, Leo? How does it feel to have nearly all your life drained away? In this Shadow Game, life points equal real life, and when your counter hits 0, your heart will stop beating!" Mewgle cried. "You're on the very threshold of death! It would take just the slightest breeze to finish you off now! I might not even need to attack, you look so feeble now you might just die of exhaustion in a few minutes!"

"D-don't c-c-count me out y-yet," Leo stammered, trying to stand back up. His knees turned to jelly and he fell back to the ground. "Uhhhh…"

"Leo!" Ash yelled.

"Take it easy, you just got a really bad hit!" Pikachu said anxiously.

"Don't overexert yourself at this point, or you might not make it!" Sasha warned him.

"No, do overexert yourself, and get back up! We don't want to die!" Jessie shouted.

"I-I'm fine! I'm fine!" Leo said, though the paleness of his skin, his constant trembling, and his shortness of breath showed he was anything but. He coughed, spitting up some blood. He blanched. "O-okay, m-m-maybe I'm not completely okay…a-and I'm h-h-having trouble s-seeing st-st-straight…" He clenched his eyes shut, trying to focus. "B-but I'm st-still in this, s-s-so long as I have even one life point l-left! Th-th-that's wh-what heroic r-r-resolve is all ab-about!" He took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. "Mewgle! That was a n-nasty trick…but by f-forfeiting your battle phase, y-you've given me a chance to recover! Sefirot won't be able to attack until your n-next turn, a-and by then I'll have had _my_ turn, and I'll d-definitely have found a way to beat you by then! A-after all, like I said before, one turn makes a-all the difference!"

"You're right, it does," Mewgle agreed. "Which is why I won't _let_ you have that turn!"

Leo started. "Wh-what?!"

Mewgle placed the card he had just drawn onto his 'Disk.' "I play the Spell Card 'Mega-Ether!' This spell allows me to bring one Spell card back to my hand from my graveyard…and can you guess which Spell that is?"

Leo gasped, his face turning paler. "No…"

"YES!" Mewgle crowed as the 'graveyard' mouth on his 'Disk' spat out a card. Mewgle grabbed it and flipped it around so that everyone could see it. "It's SKIP TURN! Using this, I can skip over your next turn, and go directly to mine! And since your life points are already at their lowest, I don't need to bother activating Sefirot's special effect again. This time, I'll attack you…and because of the difference in Sefirot and Spinarak Man's attack points, PLUS the fact that you're at your weakest, you'll DIE!"

Everyone gasped. "Oh shit…" Leo whispered.

"Oh, wait, and that's just the START of the fun!" Mewgle cackled. "By sacrificing 1000 of my life points I can temporarily boost Sefirot's attack points…to 9999!" Sefirot flexed his muscles and roared as his glow increased tremendously, his attack points skyrocketing to 9999.

"B-but that's OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAND!" Leo cried.

"Leo, you already did that joke!" Pikachu shouted.

"I know, but it wasn't as serious then as it is now! I'm going to fricking DIE!" Leo said.

"Yes, you are!" Mewgle said maniacally.

"But why? You can already defeat him with one hit! Why add all those extra points?!" Sasha asked.

"Because he's a demon!" Wabbaku said.

"Exactly!" Mewgle said. "Something you idiots seem to keep forgetting! Plus, there's the fact that I HATE Leo. I hate him more than I've ever hated anything else in the entire Omniverse. Because of him, I lost EVERYTHING, and instead of becoming the ruler of all creation, I'm stuck as a low-life demon of games forced to battle him for all eternity! I don't just want him to die, I want him to HURT. I want his death to be as excruciatingly painful as possible. And I think getting hit by Sefirot's ultimate attack, raised to ludicrously powerful and unnecessary levels, will fit the bill, don't you?"

"…That's sick, man," said the disturbed Leo.

"You're crazy!" Ash yelled, stating the obvious.

"A demon after my own heart!" Jessie said. Everyone stared at her. "What? He's definitely a lot more ruthless than Mickey! I'm starting to wonder if we should keep him as a member of the team rather than getting that stupid Meowth back."

James gasped. "Jessie!"

"My Queen, if Mewgle wins, he'll kill us all, not join our team," Buzz pointed out. "And it pretty much looks like he just won."

Jessie paused. "Oh. Right. Damn."

Mewgle rolled his eyes. "If we're done hearing from you idiots? I'll get to you in a minute, okay? Let me savor my supreme triumph for a second here…Okay, I'm done. DIE, LEO! Sefirot, use your ultimate attack…SUPERNOVA!" Sefirot chuckled malevolently, spread his wings, and began glowing brighter. Abruptly, the formless void they were in transformed into…outer space?

"Huh? How did we get here?" asked the confused Ash.

"And how are we breathing?" wondered Pikachu.

James gasped. "Oh no! There's no oxygen here! We're going to die!" He started choking.

Wabbaku rolled his eyes. "It's an illusion, you idiot…"

James sweatdropped and laughed sheepishly. "Oh, right…"

"Chiii…" Chimecho drooled.

"It's a pretty one, though," Gardenia commented.

Leo gulped. "And one that looks kinda familiar…"

Strange diagrams, geometric formations, mathematical equations, and Latin phrases flashed by. A meteor suddenly appeared, streaking across the stars towards a nearby galaxy. It smashed into a planetoid helpfully labeled as Pluto, smashing it to pieces, and kept on going.

"No, not Pluto!" James cried.

"Oh come on, it's not even a real planet!" Mewgle pointed out. "Who'll miss it?"

The meteor then passed through the spectacular rings of a gas planet labeled Saturn, causing the pieces of rock and ice making up the rings to explode. It approached an even larger gas planet labeled Jupiter and flew through it, causing a gaping hole to appear right through its center. The planet exploded tremendously moments later.

"I don't think that's the way stellar objects and collisions work," Pikachu said.

"What are you, an astrophysicist of something?" Mewgle scoffed.

The meteor streaked through an asteroid belt and collided with a sun at the center of the solar system they were in, a solar system that looked remarkably like their own. There was a pause, and then the sun _exploded_, expanding outward as a giant spherical mass of destruction. It obliterated Mercury and Venus, and then slowly came right towards them. Mewgle and Sefirot both grinned malevolently as the wall of death washed over them and inexorably advanced towards Leo and Spinarak Man. "This is really going to hurt…" Leo said weakly.

"Wabbaku, isn't there anything we can do? This can't really be the end, can it?!" Gardenia asked anxiously.

"I'm afraid so. I can't see any way out of this…" the shaman said unhappily.

"This really bites," Jessie complained.

"Leo! Hang in there!" Ash yelled.

"I DON'T REALLY THINK THERE'S ANYTHING I CAN HANG ONTO CONSIDERING I'M ABOUT TO BE DESTROYED BY A FRICKING _EXPLODING STAR!"_ Leo shouted.

Ash sweatdropped. "Good point."

"I never thought it would end this way…dying because a friend lost a children's card game," Pikachu lamented. "I can't believe it's all going to end like this!"

Sasha frowned thoughtfully. "Maybe it won't…"

James gasped. "That's right! He still has a face-down card on the field! I'm sure it's some Spell or Trap card he's been saving just for this moment so that he can activate it at the last second and save him—and all of—from certain destruction!"

The others looked at him hopefully. "Do you really think so?" Ash asked.

"Absolutely! What else could it be for?" James said. "Any minute now he'll reveal his trump card and turn this whole Duel around! I've seen it on television a million times!"

The Supernova engulfed Spinarak Man, causing him to shriek in unfathomable agony as he burst into flames and disintegrated. It sounded as if he was yelling something like "EMMMJAAAYYYY!" before he died. The solar fire then consumed Leo, causing him to scream so high and so loudly that it didn't even sound like him, but some tortured animal in so much pain that death would be a _blessing_ compared to the limitless torment being inflicted on him. The face-down card did not flip up.

The fire vanished before it could reach the group, and space changed back to the void, revealing a grinning Mewgle and Sefirot…and a burnt corpse blackened and charred beyond all recognition lying on its back, a piece of ash-covered metal fused to its left arm flashing a big zero on its cracked display screen. It was also wearing a nice pair of sunglasses. James sweatdropped. "Okay, maybe not."

"LEO!" Leo's friends cried.

"I don't believe it. I won. I won! I WON! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I WON I WON I WON I WON I WON! GYAHAHAHAHAHA! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Mewgle laughed insanely.

"I…I don't believe it. He's…he's dead?" Ash whispered, horrified. He had seen Pokemon die before, naturally, but he had never lost a team member this way. Not until now, that is. "No…Leo…" He started tearing up.

Pikachu was crying as well. "Leo…even if he was annoying sometimes and could get on my nerves, he…he was a good friend and had the heart of a true hero. He didn't…he didn't deserve this…no…"

Sasha clenched her teeth and said nothing. The loss of a comrade was nothing new to her, several friends and relatives had died over the course of her many years of life, but it never hurt her any less to see someone close to her die, especially someone still so young with so much potential like Leo. Team Rocket mourned as well, though it was less for Leo's sake than for their own. "WAAAAAAAAAHHHH! WE'RE GONNA DIE! WE'RE GONNA DIIIIIIIIIIIE!" Jessie and James cried.

"CHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" Chimecho wailed.

"This is really the end…" Wabbaku whispered.

Gardenia took a deep breath. "Wabbaku, remember how I said there was something I wanted to tell you earlier that wasn't important? Well…um…about that…"

Tiny stared blankly at Leo's corpse, not sure how he should be feeling. He knew his caretaker grieved, he could feel it through their connection, but…how was he supposed to feel? He hadn't liked the Squirtle, didn't like anyone, for that matter, but…but…

Leo had died trying to protect all of them, just as his mother, for all he knew, may have died trying to save him. Even though that hadn't really panned out too well and had caused him to fall into a river and into the clutches of various unscrupulous Pokemon, including one who'd wanted to make him into a hotdog. And she might still be alive, he hadn't seen anymore of her after he'd drifted away. But she had made the effort, and so had Leo, so…so…he rubbed his head in confusion, not certain how he should be feeling.

And then he noticed something. He poked Ash's shin. Ash didn't notice. Tiny poked at him harder, and sent an annoyed surge of _need_ and _demand for attention_ through their bond. Startled, Ash glanced down at him, eyes red with tears. "What?"

Annoyed, Tiny pointed at the playing field, where Mewgle was still laughing and Leo's corpse was still smoldering. For a moment, Ash didn't realize what Tiny was trying to tell him…and then he realized something. "Guys," he said quietly.

"What?" Pikachu asked him hoarsely.

"If Leo's dead and the Duel's over, why does he still have that face-down card on his field?" Ash asked.

There was a pause. Abruptly, everyone stopped their weeping and looked at the card. Mewgle, hearing no more tears, stopped laughing in confusion. "Huh? Hey, why'd you all stop sobbing? And…hold on a second…why's there still…" His eyes widened in disbelief. "No. No, he can't have…no. No! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

The card flipped up and started glowing. A bird made of fire flew out from the card and spread its great burning wings, shrieking as it rose into the air. The bird circled the field once and then descended on Leo's corpse, engulfing him in flames for a second time. But there was something different about this fire. As the amazed heroes and Team Rocket and the horrified Mewgle looked on, the damage that had been done to Leo's body mended itself before their eyes. The burns and charred flesh cracked and evaporated, leaving clean gold skin in their wake. His shell repaired itself. His Duel Disk reshaped itself back to its original form, and was no longer fused to his arm, just fastened to it. His disintegrated cards reconstituted themselves. The display gleamed brightly as its crack sealed up, and the big 0 flashed and changed to 2000. Leo's eyeballs, which moments ago had been hardened calcified orbs, shot open beneath his sunglasses, and he sat up with startling speed, gasping for breath as his heart restarted. The healing fire dissipated, leaving him whole and healthy and alive once again. "Whoa…okay, that's an experience I'm not gonna repeat anytime soon."

"LEO!" Team Aurabolt shouted joyously.

"You're okay!" Ash crowed.

"You're alive! This is unbelievable!" Pikachu said enthusiastically.

"Just as I hoped…" Sasha whispered in relief. "I knew you were not beaten so easily…" Tiny seemed to agree, and waved his arms a little, since everyone else was excited.

"It's a miracle!" cried James, crying from happiness.

"Chiiiiiii!" shrieked Chimecho.

"Praise the spirits! Again!" said Wabbaku.

"Yeah, definitely!" Gardenia said.

"Wh-what just happened?!" asked an astonished Jessie.

"Like James said, a miracle!" said the overjoyed Buzz.

"No…no…this can't be happening! You died! YOU DIED! I _SAW _YOU DIE! I _KILLED _YOU! _WHY AREN'T YOU DEAD?!"_ Mewgle shouted, freaking out.

Leo coughed and managed to pull himself back to his feet. "Because of my face-down card! You know, the one I played a while ago? That you apparently forgot about in your blind unceasing attempts to kill me? It's a little Trap called 'Phoenix Force!' It automatically activates when my life points reach 0 due to a monster attack, bringing me back with half my max LP! In this case, 2000 points! Not bad, huh? And all I had to do to use it was die…" He grimaced. "Which is not something I want to do again anytime soon, if ever. That really hurt. All the more reason for me to discover the secret to immortality, right?"

The demon's eye twitched. "You…you outwitted…came back from…you…you…YOU…ARGHKLYDLPUHV!" Mewgle howled, so incensed with fury at having his victory snatched from him that he briefly went mad(der) and lost the ability to speak comprehensibly.

"Yeah, that's a real witty reply," Leo said sarcastically.

"So he used phoenix power to revive himself? Let's not tell Ho-Oh or Moltres about this, they might get annoyed that someone is horning in on their ability," Pikachu muttered to Ash, who nodded in agreement.

"A hero who returns from the dead…someone who did such a thing might indeed be worthy of eternal life," Wabbaku mused to himself.

"What about me? I want to live forever too!" Jessie cried. "I don't want to become old and ugly like everyone else!"

"You don't need to worry about that, Jess," James said.

"Because my beauty will never fade?" she asked him.

"No, because you're already hideously ugly, so you don't need to wait until you're old for it," James said. Jessie responded to this truthful statement by trying to strangle him. Buzz helped. Chimecho drooled and did nothing to assist James.

Wabbaku rolled his eyes at their antics. Then he remembered something. "Gardenia, was there something you wanted to tell me?"

Gardenia blinked. "Huh? Oh, uh…no, no it's not important."

The Wobbuffet frowned. "I thought you said it was."

"I was wrong," she lied. He raised an eyebrow, but didn't press her.

"That…that was a pretty slick move," Mewgle gasped, managing to regain control over himself. "But…but that won't work again! You've managed to escape certain doom twice now, but there won't be a third time! In my next turn, I'll kill you for real! Your field is completely clear of all monsters, spells, and traps, and your hand is virtually empty! The odds of you drawing something in the next few minutes that will save you at this point are astronomical! You can't win!"

Leo smirked. "Heh, never tell me the odds! And as we both know already, Mewgle…it only takes one draw to turn a Duel around!"

"You'd better hope so, because this is your absolute LAST draw!" Mewgle snapped.

"Which is why I'm gonna make it count!" said Leo, reaching for his deck.

"Don't worry, Leo! You can do it!" said Ash.

"If anyone can defeat this psychopath in a children's card game, it's you!" said Pikachu.

"You've lasted this long against him, don't let him get the upper hand now!" said Sasha. Tiny sucked his pacifier and hopped up and down, though it was unclear if he was cheering Leo on or if he just had gas.

"We know you can win, shiny turtley twerp! We believe in you!" said James.

"Chiiiii!" agreed Chimecho.

"You'd better, because if we die, I'm going to kill you!" Jessie yelled.

"My Queen, that doesn't make any sense," Buzz said.

"I don't care!" she shouted at him.

"Great warrior…you have already proven your might by returning from the dead. There is nothing you cannot do. Smite this evil being and save us all!" Wabbaku encouraged.

"Yeah, what he said!" said Gardenia.

"Oh, will you idiots shut up already? Enough with the sapfest!" Mewgle snapped.

"Hey, it's customary for the lone hero to receive power and encouragement from all of his friends before the final battle, isn't it?" Leo said with a smirk. "With everyone believing in me, there's no way I can lose!"

"Yes there is," said Mewgle.

"Shut up, you'll jinx it!" Leo hissed. He closed his eyes and laid his fingers on the top card in his deck. "Heart of the cards…guide me!"

"You do realize there is no heart of the cards and it's just some crap they made up in the dub, and it turned out that Yami Lugi had been technically cheating all along by using magic to always draw the right card exactly when he needed it, right?" asked Mewgle.

"Arceus, do you ever stop ruining the drama?!" asked an exasperated Leo. "I'm trying to have a moment here!" He took a deep breath and drew the card, thrusting his arm out dramatically to his side so that he could open his eyes and give it a sidelong glance to see what it was. And to be even more dramatic, he drew the card three times. Yes, he pulled the same card out of the deck _three_ times, to mimic instant replay.

All the drama and buildup was sort of ruined when he looked at the card and saw that it was nothing more than an Urn of Greed card, which would allow him to draw two more cards. He sweatdropped. "Well, not quite what I had in mind…but at least I get one more draw! Again…" The others sweatdropped. Mewgle yawned.

He drew two more cards, not bothering with the theatrics this time. Which was a shame, because these turned out to be the ones that would win the duel. "Yatta! Just what I was hoping for!" he cried triumphantly. "You're toast, Mewgle!"

"Oh yeah? What could you possibly have in your hand now that can defeat the almighty Sefirot?" Mewgle asked. "His attack points are back to their starting level, but he's still one of the strongest monsters ever created!"

"Not for long he won't be! First I play Gligar-signal!" Leo said, slapping a Spell card onto his deck, causing a spotlight to materialize on the field and flash a beam shaped like the silhouette of a Gligar into the air. "This allows me to special summon one of the greatest heroes of all time, and one of my faves, directly from my deck to the field! Say hello to the ultimate Badass Normal, the Purple Knight, Gligarman!"

A dark figure swooped down from the shadows and landed next to the Gligar-signal, which vanished, its purpose fulfilled. The figure was, like Spinarak-Man, a man wearing a costume, but there was an air of grimness and infinite coolness around him that the spider-themed hero from before had lacked. He was heavily toned and muscled, wearing a mix of purple spandex and lightweight armor. Blue boots were on his feet, and blue gloves shaped like pincers were over his hands. A utility belt full of all sorts of cool gadgets was wrapped around his waist. A mark shaped like the silhouette of a Gligar was emblazoned on his chest. Rather than a cape, he had a pair of blue under-arm wings designed more for gliding than actual flight. He wore a mask shaped like a Gligar's head, with tall, pointy ears, angular white eyes, and an exposed lower face with a chin like a rock and a mouth set in a thin, hard line. He had 2500 attack points and defense points.

Both Jessie and James swooned. "Wow, he's pretty easy on the eyes too!" said Jessie.

"Yeah! Er, but not as handsome as Mickey, of course!" James said quickly. Everyone else stared at them and sweatdropped.

Mewgle snorted. "What, that's it? That's your big gamble? That loser doesn't stand a chance against Sefirot!"

"In the real world, he could! Because Gligarman's so awesome he can defeat any enemy, given enough time to come up with a plan!" Leo said in defense of the legendary hero. "But in this game, you're right, Gligarman can't win…not on his own, anyway! Which is why I use his special ability to special summon another hero who's part of the Gligarman family from my deck! Rather than his trusty sidekick Gligargirl or the estranged Nightglider, I'm gonna choose his loyal dog Ace, the Gligarhoundour!" A Houndour with a purple Gligar mask appeared on the field.

Sasha frowned in puzzlement. "Is he part Gligar and part Houndour, or just a Houndour wearing a mask?"

Pikachu sighed. "Who can tell with comic book characters?"

"What good's that mutt gonna do?" Mewgle snorted. "He only has…what, 500 attack points?! Please! I've found stuff in my belly button that's stronger than that!"

"Ew," everybody said in disgust.

"Wait, do you mean _your_ belly button or Mickey's?" Gardenia asked.

"Both," said Mewgle.

"Ewwwww," everyone said again.

"Hey, it's not Mickey's fault! He's usually meticulous about cleaning himself, but he hasn't been able to lately due to Wabbaku painting stuff all over him and telling him he couldn't wash without ruining them! And they got ruined anyway…" James muttered.

"They wouldn't have if we had done something more constructive with him rather than DANGLING HIM UNDER THE BALLOON AFTER IT GOT CHANGED INTO A GIANT ROBOT!" Wabbaku shouted.

Jessie sweatdropped. "That…_was_ rather stupid of us, wasn't it?"

"Totally," Ash, Pikachu, Sasha, Leo, and Mewgle said.

"Anyway, Ace's true strength doesn't lie in battle! Gligarman's trained him to sniff out clues at crime scenes to help him track down the bad guys!" Leo said. "That also means he's pretty good at finding where all the bodies are buried, which is why I'm sending him to the graveyard!" Leo said, putting Ace's card into his graveyard slot and causing the Houndour to vanish from the field. "You see, by sending him to the graveyard, I can have him dig up two spell cards and return them to my hand!" Two cards were ejected from the slot and into his hand. "Any guesses what they might be? Don't bother, you haven't seen them before. They're the two cards I discarded way back near the beginning of the game, in anticipation of this moment!"

"That's good foresight," Sasha complimented.

Pikachu frowned. "Wait, he threw away two useful cards because he knew he'd eventually summon Gligarman or Ace, who'd then be able to give him those cards? There's no way he could possibly have known he'd eventually draw either of those monsters. I mean, there are a lot of cards in his deck, what would have happened if he hadn't drawn those exact monsters when he needed them?"

"Then we'd be dead?" Ash said. "But we aren't and he did, so why bother wondering what could have been?"

Mewgle frowned. "And…just what are these cards, exactly?"

Leo chuckled. "I'm glad you ask! The first is Justice Legion Assemble!" A card appeared on the field showing several tall silhouettes standing before a glowing JLA symbol. "This allows me to special summon a hero who's a member of the Justice Legion of Ameroupe to the field if I already have another member of the Legion out! And since Gligarman just happens to be part of the Legion—though he's come close to quitting a few times—that means I can summon another one of the greatest heroes of all time, and Gligarman's occasional partner! Say hello to the last son of Neon (other than the ones in the bottled city of Candor, and in the Ghost Zone, and in space), Supermon!"

A Deoxys in Normal Forme wearing a skintight blue spandex outfit with red single-toed 'boots' over its spiky feet, a long red cape flowing down from its shoulders, and a golden seal with a stylized 'S' over a Pokeball fastened over its chest crystal appeared on the field. It had 3000 attack points and 2100 defense points. Nearly everyone stared at it in confusion. "…Is that not the Savior?" asked the puzzled Sasha.

"Yeah, there are some people who think that Supermon is supposed to be a homage to the Savior, what with him being an alien hero who saves the world…and he's a Deoxys and all…" Leo admitted.

"Why is he wearing a costume?" asked the perplexed James. "I can see Gligarman wearing a costume, since he's a human and they're supposed to have been paranoid about people seeing their bare bodies for some reason (Ash fidgeted at this comment), but Deoxys is a kind of Pokemon—I think—so why's he have clothes on?"

"Because he was raised by humans, who taught him to wear clothes in an attempt to disguise himself and not stand out from other people, and so that he could blend into mainstream society," Leo explained. "And since he wore clothing while pretending to be a human, he got used to wearing it as a superhero too."

Pikachu frowned. "He pretends to be a human? How? I mean, yeah, he's kind of humanoid, but…"

"He doesn't look very human," Ash, who knew a thing or two about that, said.

"Perhaps he shapeshifts?" Sasha suggested.

"I have heard that the Savior can switch between four different formes…" Wabbaku mused. "Perhaps this 'Supermon' can shift into…a 'Human' forme too?"

"Yeah, that could work," said Gardenia.

"Actually, he just puts on a toupee and glasses, and nobody recognizes him," Leo said.

They stared at him. "…They actually fall for that?!" asked an astonished Jessie.

Leo shrugged. "Well yeah, it's not like the majority of humans are especially observant or anything like that."

"Hey!" Ash yelled. Everyone stared at him. He flushed. "Is, uh, what I would be saying if I were human. Which I'm not. No sir." Pikachu and Sasha rolled their eyes and Tiny gave Ash a confused look. He didn't even know what humans were, but he was pretty sure his caretaker wasn't one…was he?

"Uh, I don't really give a crap," Mewgle said flatly. "Nice little combo so far, but I _still_ don't see how your little friends there are going to beat me."

Leo smirked. "They can't…not until I activate the second Spell card Ace retrieved, that is!" He slapped the card onto his Disk, and it appeared on the field, showing Supermon and Gligarman shaking hands. "World's Finest! If I have both Supermon and Gligarman, the ultimate crimefighting team, on the field, I can sacrifice them both to Fusion Summon my ace monster…the most powerful creature in my deck…the ultimate superhero, who appears only in the moment of greatest peril! Come on, guys, show him what I'm talking about!" Supermon and Gligarman turned to face each other, tensed up their legs, and then sprang into the air, flying towards each other. They collided with a blinding flash of light, which faded to reveal…

Something rather strange. The new monster looked as if someone had taken Supermon and Gligarman, cut them in half, then sewn the wrong halves back together. The right side of the monster's body looked like Supermon, while the left side looked like Gligarman. It had 0 attack points and defense points. "Behold! Composite Supermon!" Leo cried triumphantly.

Everyone stared at Composite Supermon blankly. "Yeah, I'm still not impressed," Mewgle said after a moment.

"…That's it? _That's _his ultimate monster?!" Jessie cried incredulously. "We really are screwed! He must've come back from the dead with his brains scrambled or something!"

"I'm sure he knows what he's doing," Wabbaku said. The spirits told him so, and he always believed them.

"I'm sure, too," said Gardenia, since she always believed Wabbaku, and was certain that if he was sure they were in the clear, then that was all there was to it.

The others were less confident. "Uh, Leo, are you sure you know what you're doing there?" Pikachu asked uneasily.

Leo frowned. "Yeah, why?"

"Well, it's just, um…that monster looks kind of…sketchy," Pikachu said lamely.

Ash gave him a confused look. "Huh? What are you talking about? That doesn't look anything like Tracey." Pikachu facepalmed.

Leo frowned. "What, you guys don't trust me or something? Just a second ago you were cheering me on and giving me all kinds of encouragements!"

"Well, yes, but…uh…" Pikachu hesitated.

"That creature was not quite what we were expecting," Sasha said tactfully.

"Neither is the Espanish Inquisition!" Leo joked. They stared at him. "You know, because nobody expects it?" They stared at him. He sweatdropped. "Come on, am I the only one who saw that movie?"

"I did," James piped up.

"You don't count," said Leo. James sulked. "Look, I know Composite Supermon might not quite look like he's the guy who's gonna save us all-"

"He has 0 attack points! Sefirot has 6000! It's pretty obvious who the winner in that match-up would be!" Jessie snapped.

Leo rolled his eyes. "And as I pointed out way back at the start of a Duel, if a monster has 0 attack or defense points, then that usually means it has some kind of _ultra-powerful special ability._ Remember?"

"Ohhhh," they all said.

"Honestly, it's like you people weren't even paying attention! Geez!" Leo grumbled.

Mewgle sighed. "Okay, I'll bite. Just what kind of 'ultra-powerful special ability' does the lovechild of Gligarman and Supermon have?"

Leo smirked. "I'm glad you asked! For one thing, Supermon gains 500 attack points for every hero in my graveyard. And since I have eight defeated heroes, that gives him a total of 4000 attack points!"

"Huh? Eight? How do you figure that?" asked Ash.

"Well, let's see…there's Leo, Brad, Tom, Matt…" As Leo ticked each hero off on one of his fingers, a ball of light flew out of his graveyard and transformed into a transparent version of that same hero. "Spinarak Man, Ace, Gligarman, and Supermon!" There was now a veritable wall of ghostly superheroes standing shoulder-to-shoulder behind him. "Composite Supermon grows stronger with every hero who has fallen in battle before him! By drawing upon their power, he becomes invincible! With all their sacrifices fueling his heroic resolve, he becomes powerful enough to defeat Sefirot!" The dead heroes turned into balls of light again and flew into Composite Supermon, causing him to glow with an aura of pure goodness and rise to an attack power of 4000.

"Not bad, but still not good enough!" Mewgle scoffed.

"It will be in a minute! Remember how when I played Urn of Greed, I got to draw two more cards? Guess what, Mewgle, I've only used _one _of them…and the other?" Leo grinned nefariously, his sunglasses glinting. "The other one spells your doom." A special slot popped out of the side of his Disk, and he inserted his card into it. "I play the Field Spell…City of Superheroes!"

Mewgle started. "Wait, what?!"

The void started shaking again. Much to the amazement of Team Rocket and Team Aurabolt, skyscrapers erupted from the ground all around them, rising hundreds of feet into the air as the all-encompassing darkness shimmered and faded away to reveal a bright sunny blue sky. Streets and parks formed in between the buildings, and futuristic vehicles zoomed by both in the ground and in the air above them, jockeying for space with various flying figures wearing colorful costumes of every shape and size. They stared in wonder at the grand display and vibrant life all around them; jaws slacked and eyes nearly bursting from their sockets.

"Whoa…" gasped a stunned Ash. He thought he had been in enormous cities before, from what little he could remember of his past life, but none of them had been like this! No, wait…there had been _one_…he thought…

"Incredible," whispered an awestruck Sasha. "Did Leo…_create_ all this?"

"It's just a hologram," Pikachu said, more to remind himself than anyone else. "But a very _impressive _hologram!" Tiny sucked on his pacifier, possibly feeling the same way.

"Jessie, this place is magnificent!" James squealed, twirling in a circle to take everything in. "Have you ever seen a city like this before?"

"Chiiii…" Chimecho chimed in delight.

"No, never!" Jessie said. "I wonder what kind of stores they have here? I wouldn't mind going on a shopping spree in a place like this…and by 'shop' I mean 'rob,' of course."

"How can so many Pokemon and machines fly around without hitting each other?" wondered a stunned Buzz. Then a hovercar crashed into a Hippopotas with a jetpack who hadn't looked where he was going, causing a large explosion. "Never mind."

"How is this possible?" Wabbaku wondered. "How can buildings so high stand like this without toppling over?"

"Not a bad card, huh?" Leo said, admiring the display. "Wow, it's never looked this good when I've played it before. I should get involved in magical Duels more often!"

"What was the point of bringing us here? And ruining my lovely void!" Mewgle whined.

"Like all good field spells, City of Heroes has a certain effect on my monsters!" Leo explained. "Any hero card on the field gets their attack points DOUBLED!"

Mewgle's eyes bulged. "Wh-WHAAAAT?!"

The others gasped. "Doubled?! But then that means…" Ash realized.

"He can win the Duel!" said Sasha.

Pikachu smirked. "Heh. We shouldn't have doubted him, huh? He knew what he was doing the whole time!"

"Well, duh!" Leo said. "I've been planning something like this all along, no matter how improbable and unlikely that might sound! Sefirot doesn't stand a chance against Composite Supermon now! Heh, when I'm through with Mewgle, he's gonna be crying as badly as Galladen did after Lugi beat him in the series finale of Lu-Gi-Oh GX!"

"But I thought that Duel was left unfinished!" Mewgle protested.

"Yeah, only because Galladen cried so much they removed the scene out of pity!" Leo quipped. "The poor guy…not like he ever stood a real chance, though."

"Just like _you_ don't, either! You seem to have forgotten that Sefirot can't be destroyed in battle!" Mewgle pointed out.

"Yeah, except that Composite Supermon's special ability allows him to destroy _any_ monster, even the indestructible ones," said Leo.

Mewgle's eyes widened. _Oh shit. _"B-but even if Sefirot's destroyed, one of his special abilities keeps me from receiving any battle damage!" Mewgle stammered, grasping for straws at the abrupt realization that he was quite possibly screwed.

Leo grinned. "Yeah, did I forget to mention that Composite Supermon's _other_ special ability nullifies that sort of thing?"

"FUCK! FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUUUUUUUUUUUCK!" Mewgle screamed, turning red in the face. His mind raced desperately. "No…no, it can't end like this…th-there must be some way out of this…some loophole or-"

"Yeah, I don't think so," Leo said. "It's game over for you, Mewgle! Composite Supermon, let's do this!" Composite Supermon nodded and rose into the air, spreading his arms and absorbing sunlight. His body glowed brighter as the solar energy permeated his body, and his attack points rose to 8000.

"This is it…" Jessie whispered.

"Finish it, golden hero!" Wabbaku cried. "End this nightmare!"

"And save my Mickey!" James shouted.

"We're all behind you, Leo!" said Ash.

"Finish him off!" yelled Pikachu.

"Oh, I intend to!" Leo said, enjoying watching Mewgle sweat more than he probably should have. "Composite Supermon, destroy Sefirot!"

Reaching full power, Composite Supermon shot down towards the many-winged angel at super speed, fists extended forward. Sefirot snarled and rose up to meet him, drawing back his left arm to meet Supermon's attack with one of his own. He seemed to be the only one who didn't realize that that wouldn't be enough, however. Not this time. "No! Wait! Don't go!" Mewgle cried frantically. "You'll die! And worse, I'LL LOSE!" Sefirot ignored his master and kept flying towards Composite Supermon. Mewgle screamed and tore out some fur. "NOOOOOO! LEO! THIS IS YOUR FAULT! I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS! DON'T THINK THIS IS OVER! I WILL NEVER REST UNTIL I DEFEAT YOU! OUR RIVALRY IS _ETERNAL!_ YOU CAN _NEVER_ GET RID OF ME!"

"Yeah, whatever," Leo said, having heard the same thing before from countless video game, movie, TV, and anime villains. And from Arackaiser, before Leo had known he was Chobin. "You're just a sore loser. Better luck next time!"

Composite Supermon and Sefirot collided, the force of their clash so great that it released a blinding wave of light that began to consume everything. "LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" Mewgle screamed before he was swallowed up.

"Yattaaaaaaaaa!" Leo shouted triumphantly before the light washed over him as well, and then swept over his friends, and then the city…

And then everything was gone, except for the light.

…

"Raaaaaaa!" one of the security guards, a Rampardos wearing shades and a suit roared as he charged towards the strange black dome that encompassed the stage. The guards had been trying for the last half hour to break through the dome and find out what had happened to the Fighting Four and those strange intruders, but all their attempts so far had ended in failure. Not even the super-strong drill of a Rhydon had been able to penetrate it, and now the poor soul who tried was getting treated by Nurse Joy for his broken nose. The Rampardos was their last hope, for if not even the legendary unbreakable 'spear' Pokemon could pierce that barrier, what could?

The Head Butt Pokemon lunged towards the darkness, his blue head glowing with the power of his species' infamous Head Smash attack…

And rather than crashing into the dome, he passed right _through_ it and reappeared on the other side, opposite of where he had started. He blinked in confusion and looked around, trying to figure out what had just happened. He turned around and walked back into the dome, emerging where he had started from. As the rest of the dumbfounded security detail gave him expectant looks, he shrugged cluelessly, having no idea what the heck had just happened.

The audience, those of whom who had not left out of boredom or frustration, groaned in disappointment. The MC sighed. "Well, folks, I'm afraid we're all out of options here. All attempts to get rid of that weird barrier have failed. Not even our resident Psychics have a clue what to do! Mr. Ford's called for some specialists, but unfortunately it doesn't look like they'll be here anytime soon. There's no telling if they'll get here in time. Could this really be the end of the Fighting Four, who had been doing so well up until now, and had started building up a strong fanbase? Such a shame…buuuut, on the other hand, if they _are_ dead, then all merchandising rights of their likenesses automatically reverts to Mt. Battle thanks to their entry contract, which means that in very short order we'll be selling Fighting Four memorial goods at the local gift shop with a discount to benefit you, the paying fight fans!" The MC's rather unsubtle attempt at marketing was halted when a shaft of light suddenly beamed out of the side of the dome. "Hmm? What's this?"

A second shaft of light appeared, followed by a third, and a fourth, until the dome was turned into a veritable pincushion with needles of light shining out in every direction. The lights grew brighter, and abruptly the dome was vaporized in a massive explosion (which, oddly enough, sounded like someone shouting "YATTA!" at the top of their lungs). A screaming Meowth was flung out of the blast and slammed into a wall hard enough to leave an impression shaped like his body. He slid off the wall and fell to the floor like a puppet whose strings had been cut, the odd red nose plastered onto his face popping off and landing on the ground beside him. "Ohhh…."

The smoke from the explosion cleared, revealing…

The MC gasped. "I-I don't believe it. Ladies and gentlemen, it's the Fighting Four! AND THEY'RE ALIVE! IT'S A MIRACLE! Oh, and those other weirdoes made it too."

The crowd cheered, overjoyed to see the fighters back safe and sound. Taken off guard by the applause, Ash and the others quickly started waving. "We're back in Mt. Battle!" Ash said, stating the obvious.

"Where did you think we'd end up once we won?" Pikachu asked.

"You mean once _I_ won," Leo corrected with a grin.

Pikachu smirked and rolled his eyes. "Heh, right. You did win, didn't you? Good job, King K. You did a great job back there."

Leo grinned. "Well of course I did! Not like I was gonna let myself be beaten by a wanksta like that, yo!" Pikachu grimaced slightly. Now that they were back in public, Leo had reverted to his horrible 'gangsta' accent. After hearing Leo speak normally for most of the Duel, listening to him butcher the English language again was rather painful.

"We are all very proud of you," Sasha told Leo. "And relieved that you are alive and well. We were very worried when we thought you were dead…"

"I was, for a little while, yo," Leo admitted. "I don't really remember much about it…but I came back. I couldn't just leave you bruthas. You're my homies! What would you do without me, huh?"

"Things certainly would be less interesting," Pikachu admitted with a smile.

"We're all glad to have you back on the team, safe and sound! Even Tiny! Isn't that right, Tiny?" Ash asked the Larvitar. Tiny stared at him blankly. Ash sweatdropped. "Well, maybe not him…"

While the Fighting Four soaked in the cheers from the relieved crowd, Team Rocket tended to their own. "Mickey, can you hear me?" James asked the Meowth anxiously. "Please, say something, anything!"

Mickey groaned and cracked his eyes open. "Jim…my? Oh…ugh…what happened? Why does my…everything hurt?" He grimaced. "Especially my arm?"

"The wards on your body were broken and you were possessed by the demon Mewgle," Wabbaku explained. "He turned your body into a host for his power and tried to kill us."

"But that nice Wartortle over there defeated him in a children's card game, getting you your body back!" Gardenia explained.

"Which means you can finally take a bath! And about time, too, because you really need it!" said Jessie.

"Well dat's a relief," said Mickey, not entirely understanding what had just happened.

"I'm just glad that you're alive and in one piece and your soul hasn't been eaten or anything! Oh, Mickey, I was so worried!" James cried, throwing his arms around Mickey and bursting into tears. Chimecho started crying as well.

"Oh, Jimmy…it's okay…don't cry…I'm here now, ain't I? And I'm okay…though I'm aching all over…" Mickey said, hugging the clown back. "I'm never gonna leave you again, ya hear dat?"

James sniffed and smiled through his tears. "Oh, Mickey!"

"Oh, Jimmy!" Mickey said, tearing up as well.

They kissed each other. Gardenia sniffed and wiped away a tear. Wabbaku smiled slightly. Jessie tried not to hurl. She wasn't the only one. "Hey, get a room! Not all of us want to see you swapping saliva in public!"

That jeer did not come from a homophobic member of the audience, as one might expect, or even from the security guards slowly making their way over to apprehend the criminals. No, the mocking jibe came from none other than the red clown nose that had detached itself from Meowth's face and was floating back into the air, slowly beginning to pulsate with an evil crimson glow again. Everyone in the room gasped. "Wh-what's this? It looks like the show's not over yet, folks!" the MC announced.

"Waaahh!" Gardenia cried, trying to get as far away from the floating nose as possible.

"The evil still lives?!" cried the incredulous Wabbaku.

"Oh, come on! Haven't we had enough of this already?!" Jessie groaned.

"Aahhhhh! Don't let it near me!" Mickey screamed.

"Don't worry, Mickey! I'll protect you!" James said, shielding his lover with his body.

"No way…how can he still be alive? I thought we creamed him!" Ash said incredulously.

"I thought so too," Leo said. "And by 'we' you mean me, brutha. Guess I didn't hit him hard enough, yo! Let's go whup him so hard his ass is gonna come out of his…uh…wait, no, I think I said that out of order…" The others sweatdropped.

"And he doesn't have an ass at the moment, anyway," Sasha pointed out.

"Psh, technicalities," Leo said, waving her off.

Mewgle cackled as he loomed rather menacingly over the terrified Team Rocket, a rather impressive feat considering he was just a flying clown nose at the moment. "Mwehehehe! You didn't think you'd gotten rid of me so easily, did you?"

"But you were defeated! How can you still be here?!" Wabbaku protested.

Mewgle laughed. "Don't you remember the terms of the Duel? If I won, you all died, and if my hated rival won, then I'd let you go and leave that stupid cat's body! At no point did I ever say I'd _go away!_"

They all groaned as they realized this. "Guess technicalities aren't so overlookable after all," Pikachu commented.

Leo scowled at him. "Whatever. Let's just go over there and demolish him before somebody gets hurt! It's me he wants, and he'll kill as many people as he can to get me!"

Ash nodded in agreement. "Let's go!" They started running towards the Rockets.

"I won't let you have Mickey again!" James said bravely.

"Keep him, I don't want him," Mewgle sneered.

There was a pause. "You don't?" James asked in confusion.

"Why not? I ain't good enough for you anymore?" Mickey asked indignantly, causing everyone to give him incredulous looks.

"No, not really. The ideal host for my evil soul would be someone as wicked as I…and sad to say, you're not even close to that. On a villainy scale of 1 to 10, you're a negative five," Mewgle said.

"Hey!" Mickey said angrily. "Dat ain't fair!"

"Yeah, he's at _least_ a negative two!" James agreed. Mickey facefaulted.

Mewgle turned to Jessie and addressed her, much to her alarm. "But you, my dear…well, you're not much better, to be frank, but your heart is full of cruelty and malice to others, unlike the rest of these losers, and under the guidance of a first-rate fiend like myself, I could change you from an incompetent bungler to a true queen of evil! You're not the perfect host for me, but still better than my other options! With you under my control, I will defeat Leo for sure…and any other fool who stands before me! What do you say?"

Jessie actually seemed to be tempted by this offer. "Hmm…a queen of evil, you say?"

"JESSIE!" the other Rockets yelled at her.

"What?! I want to rule the world someday!" she snapped.

"Miss Jessie, if Mewgle possesses you, you could lose your soul," Wabbaku said slowly, as if to an idiot.

"And he might decide he doesn't like you having female parts and…uh…" James said. "Give you…different ones." Jessie blanched at the thought.

"What?! How dare he?!" Buzz cried.

"Hey, that's actually a good idea, thanks," Mewgle said.

"Ew! No way! You can't have my body, not if it means becoming a _guy!_ Ick!" Jessie said in disgust.

If Mewgle had had eyes, he would have rolled them. "Yyyyeah…it's not like I'm actually giving you a choice here." He shot towards Jessie. She squealed in alarm.

Buzz quickly flew in front of her. "I'll protect you, my Queen!"

"No, _I_ will!" Wabbaku said, shoving Buzz out of the way.

Gardenia gasped. "Wabbaku, no!"

The Wobbuffet crossed his arms over his chest. "Spirits of the earth, sea, and sky, unite! Protect us from this villainy!"

His body began to glow. Mewgle's nose struck it and bounced off, hissing in pain. "Aaaaahhh! The purity of spirit…it burnssssss!"

Jessie gasped. "W-Wabaku…you saved me!"

Wabbaku stiffened as he realized what this meant. He had just saved Jessie's life. That meant the debt he owed her had been repaid and he could finally leave this wretched band of thieves forever! Noticing Mewgle's nose flying dizzily about, stunned by Wabbaku's repulsion, the shaman reminded himself that now was not the time to celebrate his freedom, not when there was still work to do. "He is weakened! Gilded one, finish him off!" he yelled to Leo as Team Aurabolt finally made it over. (What had taken them so long? Well, Leo was understandably weary from having fought a very stressful Duel and briefly dying so wasn't in peak condition, Ash was still injured from his fight with The Brock so was understandably tired, and Pikachu and Sasha…uh…their bodies were recovering from the stress of being transported to an evil pocket dimension and back. Yeah. Let's go with that. Oh, and Tiny's legs were short, so he couldn't run fast.)

"Right!" Leo said. He paused. "Uh, how do I do that again?" Everyone facefaulted.

"THE DICE!" they yelled at him.

"Oh, right!" Leo said, snapping his fingers. "Can't believe I forgot about those things…" He quickly reached into his shell and pulled out the dice of St. Gygax, which began to glow brightly. He held them out towards Mewgle's nose. "Begone, creature of evil! You have troubled this world—and me—long enough! Return to the Abyss from whence you came! Etc, etc, you get the drill."

A beam of holy light shot from the dice and struck Mewgle full-on. The demon shrieked in agony as he was bombarded by the blessed power of the sacred cubes. "KYAAAAAHHH! NOOOOO! NOT THE DICE AGAIN!" Shafts of light started bursting out of his small form. "YOU'VE BEATEN ME THIS TIME, LEO…BUT YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF ME! I'LL BE BACK! I'LL…BE…BAAAAAAACK!" And with that last clichéd vow, he exploded. The blast was so powerful that it knocked Team Aurabolt over, shook the stadium, and had the unfortunate effect of flinging Team Rocket, who had been standing too close to the nose when it detonated, into the air, where they smashed through the ceiling (leaving a hole right next to the one they had made coming in) and flew out into the distant sky.

"What the…why did that just happen?!" Jessie cried.

"I have no idea, my Queen," Buzz said dutifully.

"I'm not sure why, but I get da strangest feeling dat being launched into da air after a failed mission is going to become a running theme in da future…" Mickey said.

"I don't care about that, I'm just glad that that horrible demon is gone for good! And that you're safe and sound and back with me again! Oh, I'm never going to let you go, Mickey!" James cried, grabbing the Meowth.

"Oh, Jimmy! I'll never let go, either!" Mickey said. They began to make out in midair. Jessie gagged in disgust and envy.

"This is growing tiresome…I will be relieved to put all this behind me," Wabbaku muttered to himself.

"Wh-what do you mean?!" stammered Gardenia.

"Now that I have saved Miss Jessie's life by keeping her from being possessed by Mewgle, I have fulfilled my debt to her and am free to return to my home," the Wobbuffet told her.

Gardenia's eyes widened in horror. "Then…th-then…you're leaving?!"

"Yes, and I will not be sorry to, either. A shaman must face many trials in his life…but I must say, this has been one of the worst ones I could ever have imagined! I will be more than happy to put it all behind me," Wabbaku said.

"Oh…" Gardenia whispered, her heart breaking. "I…I hope…you'll be happy…"

"Oh, I will be," Wabbaku said, utterly oblivious to her obvious feelings for him. His spirit guides would have facepalmed if they had had faces. Or hands.

Jessie sighed. "Oh well, now that that demon's gone I suppose things can go back to normal and we can continue doing what we originally planned to do…catch Team Aurabolt for the Boss! That false lead in Mt. Battle cost us too much time, there's no telling where they might be now!" Wabbaku sweatdropped, incredulous that the others still didn't realize that Team Aurabolt had been right under their noses.

James pulled himself away from Mickey's lips long enough to say, "I'm sure we'll be able to find them, Jess, now that we're all back together!"

"Forever and ever!" Mickey said happily. "And until we get dose twerps…WE'RE BLASTING OFF AGAAAAAAIIIIIN!"

"Chiiiiii!" Chimecho chimed as they flew over the horizon and vanished in a twinkle.

Back in the arena, everyone was cheering. "Wow, I have _no_ idea what just happened, but it was really damn cool! Nice show, fellows! Bravo! Bravo!" the MC lauded. "Congrats to the Fighting Four on their valiant victory over…whatever the hell just happened!"

"They sure seem glad to see us back," Ash said in bemusement.

"Yeah, I'm sure it'll last until the next time we start being too 'boring' in matches," Pikachu half-joked.

"Until that happens, at least we can enjoy their mostly unanimous support of us," Sasha said positively. Tiny sucked his pacifier in agreement.

Leo, oddly enough, was the only one who was not overjoyed at their victory over the evil Mewgle. "I didn't mean to blow those guys away…they may have been an annoying Goldeen Poop Gang, but I didn't want them to get killed or anything!" he said, feeling guilty for causing Team Rocket to blast off.

"Don't worry," Pikachu said. "Something tells me those guys are pretty resilient. I doubt something like that will kill them."

"Yeah," Ash said. "If they're anything like the guys they remind me of, they'll be back to annoy us again…and again…and again…and again…" His long face took on a haunted, tormented expression. "And they'll never, _ever_ leave us in peace…" They stared at him. Tiny gave him a weird look.

"I'd say you're acting weird," Pikachu said after a moment. "But I have this rather horrifying feeling that you're right."

"Then let us hope that the next time we see them, they do not bear anymore demons," Sasha said. "Or at the very least, have a less ridiculous giant robot."

Ash grimaced. "Yeah…somehow, I don't think that's possible…" If his flashbacks of the Team Rocket in his world told him anything, it was that the robots would only get _worse_. And he was sure that their motto would haunt him in his nightmares. Not because it was terrifying, but because it was so damn catchy and annoying, much like the idiots who said it. He sighed. "As if we didn't have enough on our plates to worry about already…"

"Yeah," Leo said. He paused. "You know, I think I'm going to pass out now."

"What? Why?" asked Pikachu.

"Fighting a Shadow Game, coming back from the dead, and slaying a demon takes a lot out of a guy. See you tomorrow. Night." Leo promptly fainted.

They sweatdropped. "Passing out on a dime…that's an…interesting skill to have," Pikachu said after a moment.

"Not very useful for survival, though," Sasha commented. "What good would it do in the wild? Trick a predator into thinking you were already dead? Most can hear a heartbeat, and have no qualms with eating dead bodies. I certainly don't." Ash and Pikachu grimaced at that.

"You know, I think I'm going to pass out too," Ash said abruptly. "Those wounds I got fighting The Brock are finally catching up to me. I'm exhausted. Night." He fainted.

Pikachu and Sasha sweatdropped. "Now there's two of them," Pikachu said blandly.

"At least The Brock will have company in the Pokemon Center tonight," Sasha said.

Tiny, having nothing to add to the conversation, started poking Ash. Pikachu told him to stop, but he had no way to really enforce it without causing the Larvitar to Screech, so the Rock Skin Pokemon was allowed to prod Ash unhindered until Nurse Joy and her kids showed up to take Ash and Leo away, and the remainder of Team Aurabolt headed back to the hotel. (Tiny had initially wanted to go with Ash, but decided he'd rather stay with untrustworthy strangers he was at least vaguely familiar with rather than ones he wasn't.) It had been a long and strange day, and they all hoped tomorrow would be less bizarre.

They didn't count on it.

…

Meanwhile, in the Mt. Battle Pokemon Center…

The Brock sighed in relief and leaned back into the bed in the room he was currently staying in. He had been watching the live feed from the arena he and Ash had been fighting in ever since Nurse Joy had finished checking him up and regrowing his arms and face to find out what had happened to his friends/opponents, and was glad they'd managed to get out of that weird shadow dome thing. What had that all been about, anyway? Lots of people had been shouting about a demon or something, but he wasn't sure such things existed…not around these parts, anyway. He made a note to try and meet up with Ash and the others tomorrow to see how they were doing and find out what had really happened. While he'd lost the tournament he didn't intend to leave Giant Volcano until the whole thing was over. After all, watching fights live was much more exciting than seeing them on television. Plus, his siblings had begged him to let them stay a little longer, and how could he refuse?

Speaking of his siblings, they were probably still waiting in the lobby for him to come out so that they could head back to the hotel together. He had told them to go on without him, but they refused to leave until they were sure their big brother was okay and ready to go. He was rather touched by their devotion to him; even if he wasn't always sure he deserved it. Then again, he was pretty sure he deserved it more than their scumbag parents. He growled angrily, certain that at least some of his clinginess came less from affection for him than from a desperate fear that he would leave them like Mom and Dad had. He vowed to himself, as he had so many times before, that he would never emulate his parents, both to his siblings, friends, or children, if he ever got any. (The prospects so far were getting grim, since he could never get a date with anyone.)

Anyway, he was feeling fine now, and Nurse Joy had said that he could leave whenever he felt like he'd completely recovered, so he probably shouldn't keep his brothers and sisters waiting any longer. He turned off the television and got off the bed to leave…

When he heard a knock on the door. He wondered who it was. Maybe Forrest or one of the others had gotten impatient and come up to check on him? Or maybe it was Nurse Joy! His heart soared at the thought of seeing the beautiful pink Chansey, but immediately sank when he remembered that she was in charge of the place and certainly wouldn't have needed to knock whenever she wanted to enter a patient's room. His hopes rose again, however, when it occurred to him that some (preferably) hot girl might have seen him fighting earlier, became smitten with him, and came rushing over to make sure he was all right after the brutal beating he had gotten from Ash. (Not that he begrudged the Lucario, heck, The Brock had hit him just as hard back!) Sure, the chances of it being a babe who was totally into him were slim to none, but a guy could dream, couldn't he?

Eagerly, he rushed to open the door. "Hello?" he said. He frowned when he recognized his visitor. "Hey, what're you doing here?"

Some time later…

Nurse Joy walked out into the Pokemon Center lobby, having finished helping her newest patients, Ash and Leo, begin healing using the secret restorative technologies and techniques of her family, and was rather surprised to find a group of young slit-eyed Pokemon scattered around the room, sitting on benches and waiting anxiously. "What are you all still doing here?" she asked them.

The eldest of the kids, a Snorlax named Forrest, glanced up at the Chansey. "We're waiting for our Big Brother, Nurse Joy. We won't leave until he's finished healing and ready to come back to the hotel with us."

Joy frowned. "That's odd. He should have been ready to go hours ago. He can't still be recovering, can he?"

The kids exchanged worried looks. "Could you go check on him, Nurse Joy?" Salvadore asked her.

"Please! Something might have happened to him!" Yolanda said anxiously.

Joy frowned. "That's rather unlikely, he seemed to be almost fully recovered when I last saw him…maybe he fell asleep? It has been a long day for him, though I would have thought he'd be more responsible than that and not keep his little brothers and sisters waiting…Hold on, I'll go take a look." She left the lobby and headed to the room that she had left The Brock in, after threatening to sedate him if he hit on her one more time. Much to her surprise, the door was open. Even more surprising was that the room was empty. "Hello?" she called, glancing around. "Mr. 'The Brock?' Are you here?"

She searched the room, the nearby rooms, and even the bathrooms, but it was to no avail. The Brock had disappeared without a trace.

…

A little earlier, in Pokemon Square…

The Thunderblade family, gathered around the big-screen television in their living room, watched as the unconscious Ash and Leo were carted out of the stadium, and Pikachu, Sasha, and Ash's latest adopted child Tiny left the room. "Well, I'm glad that's all over," Raiki said, sipping some beer from his special drinking hat that he had managed to retrieve before it could be destroyed, much to everyone else's frustration. "Though I have no idea what the heck that was all about!"

"Why couldn't they show us what was going on inside that dome?" Pichu complained. "Watching it just sit there for half an hour as people tried to break it open was so boring! And even now that it's gone, we still don't really know what the heck happened!"

"I'm sure that we'll find out the whole story when they email us about the day's events," Delia said. "You may have found it boring, but I was worried sick about them! I thought they might have been in horrible danger, or even worse…"

Raiki smirked. "Delia, you worry too much!"

"And you worry too little!" she accused him.

Raiki shook his head. "No, I just have confidence in our sons and their friends, and our latest grandson…boy, we sure have picked up a lot of those in the last year, haven't we? I thought it looked bad, too--Were they talking about a demon or something? I think they mentioned one, but it was hard to hear with the way everyone was yelling in the stadium—but I knew our boys could handle it, and I was right, wasn't I?"

The kids of Team GX nodded in fervent agreement. "Yeah, nothing can take down our Dad, especially not something as wimpy as a weird black dome!" said Junior.

"Or a hot-air balloon that can turn into a giant robot piloted by weirdoes," Collette said.

"What was up with that, anyway?" Sapphire wondered. "I doubt that was on the schedule for tournament events."

"And who were those weird Pokemon?" Matthias asked. "I mean, I've seen some strange Pokemon already in the short time I've been in this town-" _Including this family_, he thought to himself. "-But those guys really took the cake!"

Aaron frowned in agreement. "That's something I'd like to know as well, considering that they said they were looking for Ash and the others…but how could they have known they were there? It's fortunate they were too stupid to see through their disguises…and why did something about those Pokemon seem…familiar?"

"They should, they're all from town. Take the Meowth for example, he's Giovanni's nephew Mickey," Raiki explained. "And that Mime Jr. is his boyfriend James, and those others are the friends he usually hangs out with. But I didn't know they were in a Rescue Team…or rather, some other kind of Team that apparently tries to do bad things but just makes big fools of themselves instead…and possibly gets possessed by demons. Very weird, even by our standards!"

Aaron gave the Raichu a surprised look. "I didn't know Giovanni had a nephew."

"You wouldn't," Delia said. "He was just a little kitten when you left, living out in the countryside with his parents. He only moved to town sometime later."

"He became fast friends with Jessie, Miyamoto's daughter, and James, the Morgans' kid," Raiki said. "And about a year or so ago, James and Mickey fell in love and started dating openly. It was very romantic. Jessie didn't feel that way, though…she's had a crush on James for years! I'd feel sorry for the girl if she weren't a bitch all the time."

"Dear, that's a terrible thing to say!" Delia chided her husband.

"What? It's true!" Raiki said.

Pichu and Team GX nodded in agreement. "She always calls me names," Pichu said.

"And she threw my ball into a ravine," Junior whimpered. "I liked that ball…"

"And she said my wings were stupid and way too small to hold me up," Collette said, glancing self-consciously at her admittedly small wings.

"And she called me fat," Sapphire whined.

Aaron frowned. "She doesn't sound anything like her mother."

"Sometimes the apple falls pretty far from the tree," Raiki said with a shrug. "That's why we have certain distant cousins and ancestors we don't like to talk about…"

"And who were the others?" Aaron asked. "They also looked sort of familiar, except for the Wobbuffet and Yanmega. Children of other people in town?"

Delia nodded. "I think that Cacnea was Gardenia. She's Crazy Cheryl's sister."

"And the Yanmega looked like Buzz, some guy who has a crush on Jessie…for reasons none of us can fathom," said Raiki. "And he calls her his 'Queen' or something. Which is kind of creepy."

"And the Wobbuffet?" Aaron pressed. "The markings and ornaments he wore look familiar. I think I may have run into a tribe that also uses those kinds of body decorations in my sojourn in the wild."

"He could belong to that tribe," said Raiki. "But nobody really knows much about him. He just showed up one day, following Jessie. He's pretty quiet and reclusive. Nobody knows why he hangs around Jessie. Who'd want to?"

"I see…" Aaron murmured, brow furrowed in thought. "So a group of local Pokemon travel halfway across the world to try and find and apparently catch Ash for someone they call 'Boss,' and one of them just happens to be Giovanni's nephew. Does that seem the least bit suspicious to you?"

"Very," Raiki said. "Think they might be working for Giovanni? And that whatever you think he's up to is bigger than we imagined?"

Aaron nodded, eyes narrowed under his blindfold. "Yes. I think we're going to need to have a talk with our favorite banker…and see if he knows what his nephew and his friends have been up to…"

Speaking of said banker…

Giovanni swore and would have thrown a desk lamp at the TV screen in his office if Domino hadn't stopped him and reminded him he could just press a button on the remote instead. "Those idiots!" he snarled, having just finished watching the horrible debacle his moron of a nephew and his even stupider friends had gotten themselves into. "What part of 'stay discrete and don't let Team Aurabolt know you're following them' did they not understand?! They may have just ruined everything! Why didn't your agent stop this?!"

"I intend to find out the next time he reports in…" Domino growled. "That was much worse than we could possibly have imagined. Not only did they announce the existence of Team Rocket to the entire world…but who knew that Mickey really _was_ possessed by a demon? I thought it was just more of their idiocy, and he just had a cold or something and that so-called 'shaman' of theirs totally misinterpreted it!"

"Apparently not…" Giovanni sighed. "I don't believe this…I overestimated their ability to follow orders, and _under_estimated the amount of chaos those fools could cause! Now the whole world knows our organization exists…and our enemy, if they did not already suspect we were around, will most certainly become aware of us!"

"Aren't you overreacting?" Domino asked, trying to soothe her superior. "As far as anyone knows, given what little of actual importance those idiots revealed, Team Rocket might just be them and their 'Boss' could be anyone. It's unlikely that _they_ could connect those clowns to our operatives worldwide, or to you."

"You don't know our enemy like I do…" Giovanni said wearily. "Their leader is every bit as intelligent as I, if not more so. He will very rapidly discover the extent of our fledgling criminal empire, if he was not aware of it already…" He sighed. "And if that's not bad enough, even if _he_ weren't suspicious, Aaron certainly will be! I doubt my performance the other day truly put him off our trail, once he hears that my nephew and his friends were trying to capture Team Aurabolt for some fool reason he'll come snooping around some more. And at the current stage of our plans, interference from him could ruin everything we've worked for…"

"…Sir, I know this may sound ridiculous, but…maybe…just maybe…we should come clean? Tell the Mayor and the other Pokemon in town what we're doing? We could certainly benefit from their help, especially if Aaron, the greatest warrior alive, were to side with us…" Domino suggested.

Giovanni shook his head, dismissing the idea at once. "They'll never agree to it. We may both want to save the world, Domino, but Team Rocket seeks to conquer it as well as rescue it from our great enemy! Noble 'heroes' such as Aaron will never agree to work towards such a goal, no matter how much the people of Earth might benefit from uniting under our leadership. Not to mention that we have no problem using methods that righteous do-gooders such as them would never resort to using…no, there can be no reconciling between us and them. I fear we are going to need to step up our plans yet again in light of this dilemma. Inform all Rocket agents in town to prepare for evacuation; I do not think we will be welcome here much longer."

Domino stiffened. While she had always been aware that she would need to make sacrifices to pursue her dreams and Team Rocket's great ambitions, she had never really thought that she might be asked to abandon the only home she had ever known. "We are…leaving Pokemon Square, sir?"

Giovanni sighed, clearly as reluctant and adverse to the idea as she. "I am afraid so, Domino. If we stay here much longer and they learn what we are up to…the jig will be up, they will never allow us to complete our plans. We must leave if Team Rocket is to achieve its destiny and save the world."

Domino swallowed. "I…understand, sir, it's just…"

Giovanni nodded. "I know, Domino, I know. Do not fret, though, this is only a temporary retreat; I have no intention of forsaking Pokemon Square completely. We will return someday, as the triumphant heroes and rulers we are fated to become, and they will have no choice but to welcome us back with open arms. But that day has not yet come, so for now we must withdraw…to ensure that Team Rocket, and Earth, has a future."

Domino nodded and stood up straight. "Yes, Master Giovanni."

"Begin preparations for full-scale evacuation…_discretely_ now, we can't make it as obvious what we're doing until it's too late for anyone to stop us, unlike my idiot nephew and his friends. I expect Aaron and some others will be coming by soon to ask us a few things…and we don't want to be caught off guard when that happens, now do we?" He grinned savagely. "After all…it would be rude not to give them a _warm welcome…_"

…

And that's the last we'll see of Mewgle!

Or is it?

I had a lot of fun writing this Duel, and I hope you had a lot of fun reading it. Did you get all the little jokes sprinkled throughout the fight?

And some of the subplots get deeper and deeper…


	27. Day 4: Music, Masks, and Mysteries

Now that we have the sordid (but hilarious) Lu-Gi-Oh thing behind us, we can get back to things that really matter, fresh from Italy! Like fighting. And more fighting! And subtle intrigue and plot development. Won't that be fun?

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters that don't belong to me. The song _What I'm Made Of,_ however, is copyrighted to Crush 40. And the other songs are copyrighted to other people. I'm not sure whom. Do you know?

…

_I don't care to what your thinking as you turn to me_

_Cause what I have in my two hands is enough to set me free (set me free)_

_I can fight the feelin' to resist it all the time_

_But when it's just too much to take you sneak up from behind_

It was the fourth day of the Mt. Battle tenth anniversary tournament, and the Fighting Four were in the middle of a match with their latest opponents, the world-famous rock band known as the Pokerockers. The crowd was cheering enthusiastically throughout the battle, though it was hard to tell who they were supporting the most, the Fighting Four, or the rock band. (Not that hard, actually, the rock band had the most screaming fans in the audience. If the match were to be decided solely by popularity power, then the Fighting Four would have lost several times over.)

"Look at them go, folks! Who knew that these legendary rock stars could bring the hurt on in real life as well as on the stage? It's no wonder they're on top of all the charts!" the MC gushed in utterly unbiased praise. "And don't forget, they'll be out front signing autographs and handing out promos for their latest album after the match, and we'll be selling Pokerocker memorabilia and CDs at a discount in the gift shop for a limited time only, so grab them while they're hot, because I doubt they'll be on the shelves for long!"

"WHOOOOOOOOOOO!" the audience shouted.

"YES!" Pikachu shouted. His teammates stared at him. "Uh, not that I'm gonna get any of that or anything. Yeah. That stuff totally doesn't interest me. At all." Nobody believed him. At all.

On the bench, Tiny sulked and crossed his arms, one of the few Pokemon in the room who didn't think the Pokerockers were cool, placing him in a distinct minority. He didn't see what the big deal about these guys were. Not only were they other Pokemon who were not Ash, which meant he hated them on principle, but they were really _loud_ too. His head was starting to hurt, and he felt like screaming as well, even though his caretaker had explicitly told him _not_ to whenever they were around other Pokemon, just like he had also told him never to poop anywhere but into an object like that weird white thing that went 'swoosh' in the place where they slept. Tiny honestly didn't understand the point of doing either, but the caretaker had told him not to, and he trusted him, so he supposed he wouldn't. At least, not yet…

_Is it me? You say, you're looking for?_

_Let me show you who I am and what I'm here for (here for)_

_Heaaay!_

_Try to reach inside of me!_

Ash wiped away some sweat. "Phew. That was a tough fight."

Sasha nodded in agreement. "Definitely. One of our more grueling ones, I should say."

Ash and Sasha were standing atop a rather massive pile of Pokemon, at least a dozen or more, all of them roadies and technicians and bodyguards and therefore technically members of the Pokerockers. As such, they had been allowed to fight in the match…even though that meant the Pokerockers grossly outnumbered all their opponents. Some might have called it unfair, but Ford, either because he was a fan of the band, because he thought it might make for an interesting match-up, or because the Pokerockers were (allegedly) bribing him, had allowed it. Despite the overwhelming odds, Ash and Sasha had, with a lot of effort and a little luck, managed to prevail over their adversaries, all of whom were groaning and twitching beneath their feet. As they panted and tried to catch their breath, they watched Pikachu and Leo fight against the rest of the band down below.

"We should go help them out," Ash said after a moment.

"Yes," Sasha agreed breathlessly. Neither of them moved an inch.

"After my muscles stop aching and I can move without falling over," Ash amended.

"Yes," Sasha agreed, too worn-out to do more than nod her head.

_Try to drain my energy!_

_Let me show you just what I'm made of_

_Simple curiosity, trying to take a bite of me_

_Let me show you just what I'm made of now..._

Leo gritted his teeth as he stared down his foe, a towering Onix whose face had been painted chalk-white with black lipstick and a black star covering one eye with long black lines running down from his other one, intermingling with a few fake teardrops here and there. His horn had been painted yellow, and spiked bands were wrapped around each boulder-like segment of his body down to his tail, which was holding a drumstick that he used to beat on his 'instruments,' a Geodude and a Forretress. The Geodude had a black metal shoulder pad on his right arm with three pronounced ridges. Black metal armbands with orange stripes in the middle wrapped around his wrists. A harness made of four belts, two orange, two black, wrapped around his main body, held together by buckles on the top of his head and his underside. His left shoulder had a black band on it, and a second one just a little bit down his upper arm's length. A pink feathery boa was wrapped around both arms and behind his back. Black makeup had been applied to his face to highlight his eyes, eyebrows, and mouth. The Forretress had flames, skulls, and flaming skulls painted on his shell along with roses, hearts, stars, and other typical rock and roll symbols. POKEROCKERS was emblazoned on both their foreheads. As the Onix slammed his drumstick against the shells of his teammates, shockwaves and Magnitudes rippled out across the floor, shaking the room and tearing up the stage. "Dude, your music sucks!" Leo shouted at them, firmly putting himself in the same group as Tiny.

"Our record sales would say otherwise!" the Onix shouted back.

"Just because something's popular doesn't mean it's actually good, yo!" Leo retorted.

"Good enough to beat you!" said the Onix as he kept drumming and sent quake after quake rippling across the ground towards Leo.

"Yeah, I doubt that!" said Leo as he rode the waves of rock and hopped from outcropping to outcropping, having gotten better at doing so after training some more with the others and learning from the battle with the Bronzong Brothers. "Let's see if your record sales can top THIS!" He spat a Water Gun in the Onix's face, soaking his body.

_Like a million faces, I've recognized them all_

_Cuz one by one they've all become a number as they fall (as they fall)_

_In the face of reason, I can't take no more_

_One by one they've all become the black mark on the floor_

The Rock Snake Pokemon cried out, less from pain than anger. "Ah! My makeup! You're ruining my makeup! Do you have any idea how much time it took to put all of it on?!"

"Not as long as it's gonna take me to whup yo ass, dawg!" Leo replied, firing an Ice Beam at the Onix. The stony serpent was frozen solid thanks to the water already drenching his skin, a look of outrage plastered on his painted face. Leo pulled into his shell and kicked off the ground, launching himself at the Onix in a Rapid Spin and hitting him with all the force he could muster. The ice shattered from the impact, and the Onix reeled back, roaring in pain…before toppling over backward onto the ground, shaking the arena as he fell unconscious. "Booyah!" Leo shouted, pumping his fist in the air.

"Oh no! The cruel King K has taken out Black Diamond Iwark!" the MC cried as the Onix's fans screamed in horror. "What did he do to deserve that?! What a heartless fiend! I hope he gets what's coming to him!"

"Booooooo!" most of the Pokerockers fans jeered.

Leo sweatdropped. "Oh, come on! This is Taurosshit, yo!"

_Is it me? (Is it me?)_

_You say (You say), you're looking for?_

_Let me show you who I am and what I have in store (in store)_

_Hey! Hey! Yeah!_

"No, YOU'RE Taurosshit, Taurosshit!" the Geodude, whom Leo had completely forgotten about, snarled as he dealt Leo a nasty left hook that bruised his face, cracked a tooth or two, nearly tore off one of his fake ears, and sent his sunglasses flying.

Leo froze, a look of fury flashing across his eyes. "…Dude, if you so much as _scratched_ my shades, you're dead. DEAD, you hear me, Rockhead?"

"No, you're the one who's gonna be dead!...Dead guy!" the Geodude retorted.

Leo sweatdropped. "Yeah, I can see why you're a drum, dawg. Not enough brains to be a playa? Not that you need much to be a rock star, I suppose…"

"Shut up!" the Geodude snarled, his face turning red. "Heavy F!"

Leo got tackled from behind by the Forretress, something he really should have seen coming. He fell right into the Geodude's arms, and the living rock eagerly wrapped his arms around him and started squeezing. "Ugh…what're you trying to do, pop me open like a walnut? We Wartortles don't break so easily, dawg!"

The Geodude grinned. "What about when you get a double whammy?"

Leo gave him a confused look. "Huh?" He grunted as the Forretress abruptly slammed into him from behind again, but this time kept pressing into his shell. It was only when both Pokemon started glowing brightly that he realized what they were about to do. "Oh, HELL NO!" he shouted in alarm.

"Oh, hell YES!" the Geodude sneered just before he and the Forrtress Self-Destructed, sandwiching Leo between a pair of suicidal explosive blasts.

_Try to reach inside of me!_

_Try to drain my energy!_

_Let me show you just what I'm made of_

_Simple curiosity, trying to take a bite of me_

Everyone in the room gasped. "LE-er, KING K!" Ash and Sasha cried.

"Oh no! King K forced poor Heavy G and Heavy F to go kamikaze to defeat him as revenge for taking down their cousin, Black Diamond Iwark!" the MC wailed. "At least they managed to take King K down …but at what cost, folks, at what cost?!" Fans of the drum Pokemon (of which there was a surprisingly large number) started crying.

Ash and Sasha stumbled down the pile of bodies and desperately ran over to the site of the explosion. A charred and blackened shell sat between the KO'd Heavy G and Heavy F. Ash's shoulders fell in despair. "No…not again…" he whispered. They had almost lost Leo just yesterday, also in a great explosion. Could this be the end of him for real?

No, of course it wasn't. The shell shook and a soot-covered Leo popped his head out, coughing loudly. "Ugh…it's a good thing I have a thick shell, yo…otherwise, that would really have hurt…ouch."

Sasha sighed in relief, and an overjoyed Ash picked Leo up and twirled him around. "You're all right!"

Leo groaned. "Yeah, of course I'm all right, dawg. Now could you kindly put me down before I throw up? And somebody grab my shades, I think they're lying over there!"

_Let me show you just what I'm made of now..._

_You can take another life-long try!_

_You can take another try!_

_Yeaaah!_

A few people in the audience applauded Leo's recovery, but the majority of them booed loudly. "No! Unfair! How dare you get back up after poor Heavy G and Heavy F sacrificed themselves to take you down?! You monster!" the MC shouted.

"You should be disqualified!" someone yelled.

"And fined!" said another.

"And stoned!" cried a third.

"DIE! DIE! DIE!" quite a few irate fans chanted.

"Fuck all of you bitches!" Leo shouted, flipping the crowd his middle digits. "Not including you, Night Slash. You're okay in my book."

Ash and Sasha exchanged looks. "These people are _sick_," the Lucario said finally.

"Yes, with a potentially fatal disease…fatal to us, anyway," Sasha quipped.

While the crowd was jeering at Ash, Leo, and Sasha, Pikachu had his hands full trying to take down the Pokerockers' lead guitarist, a Lombre named Hombre wearing a white ruffled shirt with black pants, platform shoes, and a red cape, who was using the power of rock to keep him at bay. And when I say the power of rock I mean the power of rock and roll, not Rock-type attacks. And when I say rock and roll I mean he'd plugged his electric guitar into a pair of Loudred, cranked up the volume to 11, and was playing riffs so strong they kept blasting Pikachu back. "Senor Plus, you might as well be giving up, because you cannot be stopping the rock!" Hombre shouted as his fingers danced on the strings of his guitar, sending wave after wave of sound at Pikachu.

Pikachu gritted his teeth and dug his paws into the floor in an attempt to keep from being shoved back, failing to gain any purchase and just getting pushed further and further away by the sound blasts. "We'll…see about that!" he grunted, swinging his sword through the air and sending a Vacuum-Cut blade flying at the Lombre.

"No we won't, senor!" Hombre said, striking a very loud chord that blasted the wave to pieces and set Pikachu's ears ringing.

"Yes we will!" Pikachu replied, firing a Thundershock.

"No, we really won't!" Hombre countered, playing the same chord again…and much to Pikachu's astonishment, made a sound blast that _deflected_ the lightning bolt.

"Oh come on, that's not possible!" Pikachu protested.

"The results would seem to say otherwise," said Hombre.

"But…but how…" Pikachu stammered.

"The power of rock cannot be beaten!" Hombre shouted, jamming on his guitar.

_Try to reach inside of me!_

_Try to drain my energy!_

_Let me show you just what I'm made of_

_Simple curiosity, trying to take a bite of me_

Pikachu's eye twitched. "Why do I like this guy's tunes again? Er, hypothetically speaking, since I'm not a fan. Really."

Hombre laughed and dragged his fingers across the guitar strings to generate a screech which would knock Pikachu out for good…only to be surprised when his instrument made a rather weak noise and no sonic blasts issued forth. "Eh? What is…"

It was then that he noticed his Loudred 'speakers' had been knocked unconscious, and Ash and Sasha were standing on either side of him, holding the severed cables that had plugged his guitar into the Big Voice Pokemons' backs. Hombre's face paled. "Uh-oh."

'Uh-oh' were the right words to say, as Pikachu, no longer hindered by the sound waves, charged towards Hombre, sword extended beside him. The Lombre squealed in panic and held his guitar out before him in a crude attempt to defend himself as the swordsmon approached. There was a flash of light as Pikachu struck at the guitar, and then he was standing behind Hombre, sword thrust out in front of him. There was a pause, and then Hombre's instrument broke in two. He trembled. "H-holy frijoles…and I a-always thought the axe was stronger than the sword…" He fainted.

The audience gasped. "No! Not Hombre's vintage guitar! Do you have any idea how valuable that thing was?! How many concerts it's been in, how many songs it's played, how many stages it's been smashed into?! You've just destroyed a treasured piece of rock and roll history, you worthless rodent! Shame on you! Shame! SHAME!" yelled the MC. The crowd echoed these sentiments, but with more vulgarity and death threats.

Pikachu's eye twitched. "I've mentioned before that I hate this town, right?"

"Yep," said Ash.

"I'm starting to as well," said Sasha.

"Their music isn't even that good…" muttered Leo.

"YOU TAKE THAT BACK!" Pikachu hissed, his sword at the Squirtle's throat.

Leo paled in fright, and the others sweatdropped. "Are you sure you're on the right side, Plus? It seems to me you might be happier up in the stands then down here," Sasha said.

Pikachu scowled. "Hey, don't lump me in with the rest of those wackoes. I might like their music a…_tiny_ bit, but it's not like I'm a big fan or anything."

"Ah, so you admit it now!" Ash said smugly.

"If you're not a big fan, then why are you holding your sword to my throat?" Leo asked.

Pikachu hesitated. "Uh…"

"I'm surprised you were even able to lift your blade against them, let alone destroy a 'treasured piece of rock and roll history,'" Sasha commented.

Pikachu laughed. "Please, don't be ridiculous! I'd never let my team down, no matter what celebrities we were fighting! Besides, that guitar _obviously_ wasn't Hombre's real one, just a cheap knock-off he's using for the fight. Psh, and the so-called 'fans' couldn't even figure that out! Ha!" The others sweatdropped.

"And you call me an ubergeek, yo?" Leo muttered under his breath.

_Let me show you just what I'm made of now..._

_Try to reach inside of me! (Let me show you what I'm made of)_

_Try to drain my energy! (Let me show you what I'm made of)_

_Let me__ show you just what I'm…_huh?" J-Pop, the Pokerockers' lead singer, paused and glanced at her microphone, puzzled by why Retrieved from ".com/wiki/What_I%27m_Made_Of..."it had suddenly stopped working.

"Ahem." The Jigglypuff wearing a small golden crescent ornament beneath her hair curl held by a chain that wrapped around her upper hemisphere with a gold star tattooed over her left eye and a pair of teardrop-shaped earrings along with tiny hot pink boots and gloves with dark red diamonds surrounded by white lines printed on them and gold cuffs glanced up to see Team Aurabolt looming over her, her Loudred 'amplifiers' knocked out on either side of her and the cords leading from their rears to her microphone severed. "Hi there," said Ash.

"Sorry to interrupt your singing—I'm a fan of your voice—but we really needed to talk to you," Pikachu said apologetically.

"Yo, the deal is that we took out your homies, so you're completely outnumbered and have no way of beating us. Surrender and we'll go easy on you, capisce?" Leo said.

J-Pop stared at them for a moment in surprise, then glanced around the room and saw that her bandmates had indeed been defeated. She scowled, threw away her microphone, and opened her mouth wide, inhaling deeply. So deeply, in fact, that she looked like she was getting bigger. Scratch that, she _was_ getting bigger, and the alarmed Fighting Four quickly had to stumble backwards to keep from getting flattened by the rapidly expanding Jigglypuff. "I think that means 'no,'" Sasha guessed as J-Pop loomed over them like a huge pink balloon of death.

Glaring at them hatefully with her sapphire blue eyes, J-Pop opened her mouth and unleashed the awesome power of her Hyper Voice, shaking the arena, deafening some of the audience, and pushing the Fighting Four several meters away from her. It was all they could do to anchor themselves and keep from getting blown out of the ring altogether by the power of her voice. "AMAZING!" Pikachu shouted, trying to be heard over the noise. "I'M SURPRISED SHE BOTHERS WITH A MICROPHONE, IF SHE CAN YELL THIS LOUDLY ON HER OWN!"

"WHAT?" Leo yelled.

"I SAID I'M SURPRISED SHE BOTHERS WITH A MICROPHONE, IF SHE CAN YELL THIS LOUDLY ON HER OWN!" Pikachu repeated.

"WHAT?" Leo yelled.

"I SAID-" Pikachu paused, then glared angrily at Leo. "WE ARE _NOT_ DOING THIS JOKE AGAIN!"

Leo's face fell. "AWWW, MAN!"

"NIGHT SLASH, I HAVE A PLAN!" Ash yelled. "USE FOLLOW ME, DO AS I DO!"

Sasha nodded. "RIGHT!" She used her power to copy Ash as he took a deep breath. Then both of them let loose with howls of their own, pushing back at J-Pop's Hyper Voice with a twin blast of Metal Sound. The opposing tunes clashed rather discordantly, causing those with more sensitive hearing that hadn't already been deafened by the initial blast to wince painfully, and for lights and electrical equipment all over the room to break or explode rather spectacularly, showering sparks and bits of glass everywhere. Tiny screwed up his face in discomfort as he tried to block out the noise by putting his arm nubs over his earholes, but that didn't work, so inevitably he reverted to toddler instincts, spat out his pacifier, and used Screech. Sadly, this only made the noise worse, but he was still a baby, what else did you expect him to do?

"WHAT'S GOING ON?" Pikachu yelled, noticing that, while everything was louder and his head was aching rather painfully, there was less force exerted against them.

"THEY MUST BE TRYING TO OVERWHELM J-POP'S SOUND WITH NOISE OF THEIR OWN!" Leo shouted. "THEY'RE PUSHING BACK AGAINST HER ATTACK, JUST LIKE WHEN WE USE OUR ATTACKS TO COUNTER AN OPPONENT'S!"

"I'M NOT SURE SOUND WAVES WORK LIKE THAT!" Pikachu said.

"THAT DOESN'T SEEM TO BE STOPPING THEM FROM TRYING," Leo said. "BUT THEY DON'T HAVE ENOUGH POWER TO OUT-SHOUT J-POP, SHE'S A CELEBRITY!" He paused, noticing that J-Pop's microphone and one of the unconscious Loudred had been blown over to them by the Jigglypuff's initial scream. "UNLESS…" He ran over to the microphone, picked it up, then handed the broken end of its cable and the other end of the cable leading into the Loudred's back to Pikachu. "HOLD THESE!"

"WHY?" Pikachu asked in confusion as Leo propped the dazed Loudred up and pointed him towards J-Pop.

"WE'RE GONNA TAKE A SONG FROM HER OWN SOUNDTRACK, SO TO SPEAK!" Leo said. "I'M GOING TO SING INTO THIS MICROPHONE, AND WITH YOU HOLDING THE WIRES IT'LL COMPLETE A CIRCUIT THAT WILL CARRY MY VOICE INTO THAT LOUDRED THERE AND AMPLIFY MY SONG SO IT'LL BECOME STRONG ENOUGH TO DEFEAT THAT OVERBLOWN POP STAR!"

"SHE IS _NOT_ OVERBLOWN!" Pikachu said reflexively. "SHE'S QUITE PRETTY, AND COMPLETELY ORIGINAL!"

Leo rolled his eyes. "SUUUUURE SHE IS. I'M STARTING TO THINK THAT NINJA MIGHT HAVE A RIVAL FOR YOUR AFFECTIONS…"

Pikachu's cheeks turned redder. "I DON'T LIKE _EITHER_ OF THEM LIKE THAT!"

Leo rolled his eyes again. "YEAH, WHATEVER YOU SAY. JUST DON'T LET GO OF THOSE CABLES, OKAY?"

Pikachu scowled. "FINE…WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO SING, ANYWAY?"

Leo chuckled. "OH, YOU'LL SEE…" He tapped the microphone. "TESTING, TESTING!" Pikachu felt a tingling sensation as the electrical signal from the microphone passed through him from one cable and into the other, causing a grating shriek to be emitted from the Loudred's always-open mouth. "PERFECT! OKAY, HERE WE GO, WITH A ONE-TWO-THREE-FOUR-" Leo took a deep breath and then, rather unfortunately, started singing. He wasn't especially good at it. "I WANNA BE THE VEEEERY BEST, LIKE NO ONE EVER WAS! TO CATCH THEM IS MY REAL TEST, TO TRAIN THEM IS MY CAUUUUUSE!" Everyone in the room who wasn't already deaf from the battling sound waves cried out and clutched their ears in pain as Leo's awful singing amplified to ultra-high levels bombarded their brains. "I WILL TRAVEL ACROSS THE LAND, SEARCHING FAR AND WIDE! EACH POKEMON TO UNDERSTAND, THE POWER THAT'S INSIIIIIIIIDE!" The jarring sound waves from Leo's song burst out of the Loudred's jaws and merged with the double Metal Sound from Ash and Sasha, making it sound even _worse_ and causing Tiny to scream even louder…but also slowly but surely starting to drown out J-Pop's Hyper Voice. The alarmed rock star tried to raise her voice to shout even louder, but it was no match for Leo's lousy singing (after all, everyone knew that bad singing was more powerful than good singing), and bit by bit her sonic blasts were pushed back towards her. "POKEMON! GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL! (IT'S YOU AND ME!) I KNOW IT'S MY DESTINY! POKEMON! OHHHH, YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND, IN A WORLD WE MUST DEFEEEEND! POKEMON! GOTTA CATCH EM ALL! (A HEART SO TRUE!) OUR COURAGE WILL PULL US THROUGH! YOU TEACH ME AND I'LL TEACH YOU! POOOO-KEEEE-_MOOOOOOOOOOOOON!"_

This last utterly mangled note was the straw that broke the Camerupt's back, and with a sonic boom the sound waves from Ash, Sasha, and Leo blasted into J-Pop, throwing her own song back in her face and knocking her out of the arena. She hit a wall hard enough to force all the air out of her round body, causing her to take on a much flatter, deflated countenance. Pikachu winced and mouthed an apology to her, but it didn't look like she'd noticed. Leo didn't seem to notice that they had won, either, and kept singing, rather regrettably. "GOTTA CATCH EM' ALL! GOTTA CATCH EM' ALL! POKEMON!"

"Leo, you can stop now!" Pikachu shouted in a much lower, rather hoarse voice.

"WHAT?" Leo yelled, still holding the microphone, causing the Loudred to amplify his voice to ridiculous proportions and make everyone flinch.

"I said you can stop now!" Pikachu rasped a little louder.

"WHAT?" Leo yelled.

"I said-" Pikachu paused, and then his face turned red with anger. "Oh no you don't! I already told you, we're not doing this joke again!"

"WHAT-" Pikachu snatched the microphone from Leo's hand and smacked him hard. He grimaced. "Ow…that hurt, yo…"

"That was the idea," Pikachu growled.

Tiny, noticing that all the yelling had stopped, ended his Screech. The audience members sitting near him sighed in relief…until they heard the crying from the other disturbed babies in the crowd, whose wails had so far been drowned out by the much louder shrieking and singing. Everyone groaned.

"Well, that was exciting," Sasha whispered, her throat extremely raw from all the yelling.

"Now you know why I hate doing that move," Ash whispered back in an equally raw voice. "Other than its penchant for causing avalanches. And can somebody answer that phone?!" Somebody in the audience Mareepishly answered his loudly ringing cell phone while everyone glared at him. Didn't that idiot know you were supposed to keep your phone off or on vibrate during shows like this? Sheesh, the nerve of some Pokemon…

"Hello? Is this thing working now?" the MC asked, trying to get his speakers working again. "Testing, testing…okay, what happened? I think I blacked out at one point due to my eardrums shattering…wait, what's this?! J-Pop is down and out?! The Pokerockers LOST?! Th-this can't be happening! The Fighting Four must have cheated! Yeah, that's right, their victory was invalid! THEY'RE the losers!"

"WHAT?!" Pikachu howled in disbelief as the crowd started booing at them. "That's ridiculous! I mean, yeah, I'd be a little upset if someone beat up the Pokerockers too, but I wouldn't accuse them of cheating! Well…okay, I _probably_ wouldn't…"

"This is ridiculous! We're not cheaters! I would never cheat!" Ash said indignantly.

"Does what Leo did count?" Sasha wondered.

"I don't think so. We're allowed to use weapons, and she was already using her instrument as a weapon earlier, so…that probably wasn't breaking the rules," Ash said, although he didn't sound entirely certain.

"This is totally bogus, dawg!" Leo said angrily. "They're not even that good a band-"

"Still thy tongue!" Pikachu hissed angrily.

Leo sweatdropped. "Sure you shouldn't be up there with the rest of the crazed mob?" Pikachu glared at him.

"While I find his assessment of our abilities rather cynical, I must agree with King K on one thing: this _is_ bogus!" said an unfamiliar voice, startling the Fighting Four. The audience gasped, and the foursome turned around to see, much to their surprise, that the Pokerockers had regained consciousness and were standing behind them, along with their manager/coach, a sharply dressed Marshtomp named Mizu. (Rumor had it she was banging all the guys in the band. This was a lie; she was only sleeping with Hombre.)

"They've recovered already!?" asked the surprised Pikachu.

"They're more resilient than I thought," said Ash.

"Huh, guess they're tougher than your average celebrity, yo," Leo admitted grudgingly.

"Totally, dawg," Heavy G said.

"The Pokerockers are back on their feet! This is great, folks! Now we can have a rematch and those four failures will get the thrashing they deserve!" the MC said eagerly.

"Nada, we're good," said Hombre.

"Yeah, we don't really feel like fighting anymore," said Heavy F.

"They won fair and square. We're cool with that," said Black Diamond Iwark.

There was a long, stunned pause. "W-wait…you're _not_ bitter for losing to them?! You _don't_ want payback?!" cried the astonished MC.

"Not really, no," said one of the roadies.

"Those guys pack a mean punch! It hurt like a mother!" said another.

Ash smirked, for he had been the one to give the roadie said punch. "Heh, thanks."

"We never really entered the tournament expecting to win," Mizu said. "It was just a publicity stunt to drum up interest in our latest album."

Hombre nodded. "Si, and we have gotten what we came for. Now everyone will want to be buying our latest merchandise and CDs! And attending our concerts!"

The Fighting Four sweatdropped. "Wait, you only entered the tournament to become even _more_ popular?" Sasha asked.

"Yep," said Heavy F.

"The music business is a harsh industry. You gotta fight for every inch to keep from being buried under all the other promising up-and-coming bands!" said Heavy G.

Iwark nodded. "So we gotta do shit like this from time to time to make sure people keep paying attention to us. That's how fame works, isn't it?"

"And considering how strongly the audience reacted to the battle, I'd say it worked pretty well, too," Mizu said smugly.

"And hey, at least we got to have a few good scraps while we were here. That was fun! And a change from the usual crazy fans we have to beat up," commented a bodyguard.

"Yeah, you guys put up an awesome fight. Thanks for making us really work for our money!" said another bodyguard. "We'll be sure to train a lot harder so we don't get beaten like that in the future!"

Ash smirked. "Well, I'm glad we could help…I think."

"So, you don't have any hard feelings for us beating the crap out of you?" Pikachu asked, relieved that his idols didn't hold a grudge against him for defeating them.

"Nope," said Hombre. "That guitar was just a cheap knock-off anyway."

"Not unless _you_ have any hard feelings about us blowing you up," Heavy G said apologetically to Leo.

"Sorry, we tend to overreact a bit when anyone hurts our cousin," Heavy F said.

"Guys, I told you I was okay," Iwark said Mareepishly.

"Hey dawgs, it's all water under the bridge! Which I can swim in. 'Cause I'm a water Pokemon, see?" They stared at him blankly. "Uh, that means we're cool, bros."

"Oh, okay," said Heavy F.

"Word," said Heavy G, tapping knuckles with Leo.

"I-I don't believe this…you don't feel even the _slightest _bit angry or want vengeance for losing?!" the MC asked desperately.

"No," all the Pokerockers said.

"But-but-but-but…I feel so…disillusioned…" the MC whined.

Mizu rolled her eyes. "Oh, suck it up."

Somewhat confused by this turn of events, the crowd slowly but surely started clapping and cheering again. "Looks like the public has no problem with us walking away from our fight as friends, si?" Hombre said.

Ash scowled. "Funny, that…whenever _we_ become friends with our opponents, they boo and complain. But when _you_ do it, it's the greatest thing ever…"

One of the roadies shrugged. "Hey, we're celebrities. What do you expect?"

"Still not fair…" Ash grumbled.

"Uh, hey, if we _are_ friends now…I don't suppose I could, uh, get all your autographs? And maybe a free copy of your newest album?" Pikachu asked, trying not to sound like the desperate fanboy he secretly was.

Mizu smiled. "I think we could work something out." It was all Pikachu could do not to squeal in delight. That would be very uncharacteristic of him, after all.

"Hey, you guys are a lot nicer than I woulda expected for a bunch of snooty uber-popular rock stars," Leo commented. "I totally misjudged you, homes!"

"Heh, thanks!" said Iwark.

"And, uh, now that we're all bruthas…I don't suppose you could hear out another little ditty I've been working on and tell me how it is, yeah?" Leo asked, grabbing the discarded microphone again.

The Pokerockers froze. "Er, I am not being very sure-" Hombre started.

It was too late. Leo started singing again. If you could call it a song. "I wanna be the best there ever was, to beat all the rest, yeah, that's my cause! Catch 'em all, gotta catch 'em all, Pokemon! Alakazam, Goldeen, Venonat, Machoke, Kangaskhan, Hypno, Electabuzz, Flareon-" He was thankfully interrupted when J-Pop, who had finally recovered from her rather violent deflation, snatched the microphone out of his hands and bitch-slapped him repeatedly. Everyone sighed in relief. "Ow…" Leo groaned, rubbing his face.

"Never rap again. Ever. Or I will hurt you," Pikachu threatened him.

"Yes sir…" Leo said timidly.

"Don't call us, we'll call you," Mizu said evenly.

"Aw, man…" Leo sighed, knowing a brush-off when he heard one. "Guess I don't have any future in the music industry, huh?"

"No," absolutely everyone said.

Leo scowled. "You guys suck."

"Can I have my free CD now?" Pikachu asked anxiously.

…

A little later, after a trip to the Pokemon Center…

"You know, you're sort of ruining your image there," Ash commented to Pikachu as they walked down the corridor to their room. "You're supposed to be a serious, tough samurai warrior, not…well…a screaming fanboy."

"I don't really care right now," Pikachu said, an overjoyed expression on his face, a CD case with signatures from all the band members on its cover held to his chest. "I got to meet—and fight!—the Pokerockers. I got their autographs, and I got their latest album for free! This has to be one of the happiest days of my life! Eeeeee!"

The others sweatdropped. "Dude, do I act like that when I geek out?" Leo asked Ash.

"Yes," Ash said.

"Very much so," said Sasha.

Leo grimaced. "Wonderful. I must've made a complete fool out of myself, yo."

"Pretty much," said Ash.

"Indeed," said Sasha. Leo sighed.

"Eeeee," Pikachu squealed happily. Tiny sucked on his pacifier but said nothing.

They reached their room and went inside. Much to their surprise, there was a package waiting for them on the coffee table. "What's that?" Ash asked.

Pikachu frowned, snapping out of his fanboy state and regaining his usual persona. "I don't know. That wasn't here before."

"Could it be a trap?" Sasha asked.

"There's a note and a card," Leo said, picking a sheet of hotel stationary off the top of the package. "'Fighting Four-–Package arrived after your match. Sent it up to your room.'"

"That's funny…who'd send us a package?" Ash wondered.

"Maybe it _is_ a trap," Pikachu said, drawing his sword and putting his CD away. "There are certainly no shortage of people who'd want to take us out…the Nihilators, the Wigglytuff Guild, jilted fighters we've beaten…"

"I don't think so," Leo said, reading the card that had come with the package. "It's a present from our fans!"

"We have fans?" said the surprised Ash.

"Apparently so," said the equally surprised Sasha.

"I thought lots of people disliked us for making friends with our opponents," Pikachu commented. "And talking a lot rather than just fighting all the time."

"Not all of them," said Leo. "Listen to this! 'Dear Fighting Four, I think you guys are the best! Not only are you four strong fighters and a good team, but you actually display a degree of sportsmanship and camaraderie that has been sadly missing from this sport in recent years. The way you act towards many of your opponents, turning them from enemies to friends (or at least friendly rivals), is inspiring, and something other professional fighters could learn from. I baked you a little something as thanks for breathing fresh air into the increasingly stale tournaments we've had in the last few years. From: a fan. P.S. I hope you make it to Wes! He's actually not that bad a guy, from what I hear, but I'd love to see a fight between you guys. That would be so cool! P.P.S. I think Gonzales is cute.' Awww, isn't that sweet?" He frowned. "What, I'm not cute?"

"I actually find your unnatural coloration and overdone jewelry rather garish," Sasha told him. Leo frowned at her.

"Looks like you have another admirer, Ash," Pikachu joked. "Won't Misty be jealous?"

Ash turned red. "No she won't, because WE ARE NOT A COUPLE!" He paused, noticing Tiny was staring at him and sensing confusion through their bond. "What? We're not!" he insisted.

"It might actually be good if you weren't, because then things would get kind of…awkward," Leo said. "I mean, if you're his 'father' and his mom is still alive somewhere, how're you gonna explain about Misty being his second mommy?"

"I won't have to, because she's not!" Ash snapped.

"Then why do the other kids call her Mom, and you let them get away with it?" Pikachu asked him pointedly.

Ash flushed. "I…because…l-look, it's just complicated, all right?"

"Suuuure it is," they all said. Ash scowled. Tiny sucked on his pacifier.

"So, we gonna open this thing up or what?" Leo asked.

"It could still be a trap," Sasha pointed out warily. "This 'fan' could actually be an enemy trying to send us something deadly under the guise of a harmless gift."

Leo picked up the package and shook it. "Hmm…doesn't sound like a bomb. And I don't hear any ticking. So…" He tore off the wrapping paper and opened the box inside. He gasped. "Oh wow!"

"What is it?" the others asked.

Leo lifted the contents out of the box. "It's a pound cake! How thoughtful of her!"

"Mmm, that smells good," Ash said, sniffing the air.

"And freshly baked," Sasha agreed, not that she actually knew much about baking.

"Could be poisoned, though," Pikachu said, though from the way he was trying not to drool it was clear he didn't really believe it.

"I'll test it to make sure it's safe," Ash said, reaching a hand out for the baked goods.

Pikachu kicked his shin. "Oh no you don't, we all know you're immune to poison, that won't solve a thing!"

Ash gave him a surprised look. "I'm immune to poison?"

They all stared at him in disbelief. "…You forgot again, didn't you?" Pikachu asked.

Ash laughed nervously and sweatdropped. "Uh, I guess so." They all facefaulted. Leo nearly dropped the cake in the process.

Tiny sniffed the cake for a moment, then pulled out his pacifier and licked one of the sides. He savored the taste for a moment. Then he tore off a HUGE chunk and started stuffing it into his mouth. "Guess that settles that," said Leo.

"You are aware that a child's sense of taste and smell is not the most reliable way to detect poison?" Sasha pointed out.

"Well, do _you_ smell any?" Leo asked, thrusting the cake into her face.

She sniffed it. "Hmm…" She broke off a piece and started chewing it. "Well, I don't taste anything that feels like poison…maybe another piece…" She bit off another.

"Hey, save some for the rest of us!" Ash said indignantly, reaching over and pulling off some cake for himself.

"And don't forget me!" Leo said, grabbing some cake before anyone else could take it.

They finished the cake in short order, making a mess of themselves in the process. They were so busy stuffing their faces they almost didn't hear the loud knock on the door. Ash stiffened, and the startled Leo spat out what he had been eating, covering Pikachu's face in saliva-soaked crumbs. "Gee, thanks," Pikachu said in disgust.

"S-sorry," Leo apologized nervously.

"Who could that be?" Sasha asked warily.

Ash frowned and got up, wiping his mouth on his arm and brushing crumbs from his fur to the floor. Tiny eagerly picked them up and ate them. "Tiny, that's not very good for you," Ash warned the Larvitar.

"Cake isn't exactly healthy anyway," Pikachu pointed out.

"Well, yeah. But still!" Ash said.

"Are you going to get the door already or what?" Leo asked.

"Yeah, yeah, just a minute…" Ash said. He walked over to the door and opened it. He was not particularly surprised to see that nobody was there and that a letter was sitting on their doorstep. "I think we got another message from our mystery informant," he told his friends as he came back into the room.

"Oh, good, we haven't heard from that guy in a few days now, I was worried the whole mystery thing was going to be forgotten," Leo said.

"It might be a girl," Sasha pointed out. He shrugged, not really caring.

Pikachu frowned. "What does the letter say, Ash?"

"Let's see." Ash opened the envelope and pulled out the letter. "Huh. It says, 'Be in the hotel lobby at twenty minutes. One of the pay phones will ring. Answer it if…'" He paused, a horrified look forming on his face. "'If you want to know what happened to your friends The Brock and Bandy Andy?!'"

"Something happened to The Brock?" asked the startled Sasha.

"Wait, since when were we friends with Bandy Andy?" Leo asked.

"Is this some sort of a threat or ransom demand? Has our 'informant' done something to them?" Pikachu wondered, an angry look on his face.

Ash growled, crumpling the letter in his hands and destroying it with a burst of Aura. "I don't know…but if our 'friend' did anything to hurt The Brock…and Andy, I suppose…they're going to regret it." The others nodded in agreement. Tiny, having no idea what was going on, nodded just to go along with it. And have some more cake.

Several minutes later…

The Fighting Four and Tiny waited in the lobby to hear from their contact again, trying not to make it too obvious that they were on edge and expecting anything. Their stiffness, looks of anxiety, and the fact that they kept glancing at the booths against the wall where all the pay phones were didn't really help matters. Neither did the fact that, when the appointed time came, one of the phones started ringing loudly and Ash jumped up and went over to answer it, trying to look as nonchalant as a Lucario running at high speeds and leaping over pieces of luggage being carted around by porters could be. He threw open the door to the booth and pulled the receiver off the hook. "Hello?" he said into it. He noted that the video screen on the machine was blank, indicating that this was going to be a voice-only call. Very practical, that.

"Is this Gonzales of the Fighting Four?" a highly synthesized voice of indeterminate gender asked.

"Yes. And who is this, if I may ask?" Ash questioned.

"A friend," the voice said enigmatically.

"Riiiight. A friend who leaves strange notes outside our door and kidnaps another friend of ours?! And some acquaintance," Ash accused.

"I'm not the one responsible for what happened to The Brock and Bandy Andy," the voice replied. "I only want to get the _real_ culprit. And I need your help."

"Is that so?" Ash asked suspiciously. "Why don't you start by telling me just what's happened to them?"

"You've heard the story of the disappeared fighters?" the voice asked.

Ash nodded, remembered that it was a voice-only call so the mystery Pokemon couldn't see him, and said, "Yeah, that sometimes fighters vanish for some reason and are never seen again." His eyes widened. "Are you saying that's what happened to them?!"

"After his match on the evening of the first day of the tournament, Bandy Andy vanished after telling some friends that he thought he'd discovered a lead as to the ultimate truth connecting the fabled 'Seven Wonders of Mt. Battle,'" the voice said. "Nobody's seen him since. Similarly, after your fight with The Brock last night, he vanished from his room at the Pokemon Center. There's no signs of a struggle or forced entry, but neither Nurse Joy nor The Brock's siblings saw him leave the Center. The only thing that could have removed him is the person that has been doing to the same to other fighters for years…starting, I suspect, with King Sloth. You've heard of him, I hope?"

"Yeah, he was supposed to be one of the first Mt. Battle champions, and also the first fighter to disappear, right?" Ash said.

"At least, the first that anyone knows about," said the voice. "There may have been others that slipped through the cracks, unreported and unmourned."

Ash frowned. "That's fascinating and disturbing, but…why exactly are you telling me all this? Is there something you want me to do about it?"

"The Brock is your friend, isn't he? Don't you want to reunite him with his siblings, and also find out what happened to everyone else who's disappeared?" the voice asked.

"I _do_ want to help The Brock—and Andy, I guess—but forgive me for being suspicious. I don't know who you are, or what your stake in all this is. Why are you telling me all this? Why did you contact my team? What exactly are you after?" Ash demanded.

There was a moment's pause. "…I have been investigating the disappearances for some time now," the voice said slowly. "Building up evidence, collecting clues, that sort of thing. I have a very good idea at this point as to what's really going on and who is behind the disappearances, but due to certain…circumstances, I am unable to delve too deeply into this mystery. That is where you come in, Mr. Gonzales."

"You can't do this—for whatever reason—so you're getting someone else to," Ash undertood. "Okay, but why us?"

"You're outsiders and relative unknowns. Most of the Pokemon and fighters in Battlus are on Ford's payroll, and he's been doing his best to keep too much information about the disappearances from leaking out since it might lead to Mt. Battle getting shut down," the voice said. "That would be very bad for business, of course."

"Naturally," Ash said dryly. "But there's tons of other outsiders and unknowns in this tournament. Why haven't you been using them, too?"

"What makes you think I haven't? You think you're the only fighters, or the first, that I've approached?" the voice asked.

Ash blinked in surprise. "Uh, that never occurred to me…" He frowned. "What exactly happened to those 'others?' Why haven't we met any of them?"

"Most of them think my missives are jokes and ignore them. Others believe them but don't care. Others get caught snooping by Ford and are either intimidated or bought off. You are the only ones who've made it this far," the voice explained. "Which is why you are ideal to help me. Additionally, you have an investment in assisting me, since it'll help you find your friends."

"Well, Andy isn't actually our friend, but okay, that makes sense," Ash said. "You said you've been working on this for a long time. Do you know, then, who's behind this? Where the victims disappear to? And why the kidnapper is doing this?"

"I have…suspicions, but little concrete. At least, not until recently. That secret room you unearthed the other day provided a great deal of information," the voice said.

Ash raised an eyebrow. "Really? We didn't find much."

"You didn't know where to look," the voice replied. "I do. And I also know where you should look next to find out more about your missing friends."

"I'm listening," said Ash.

"There's a storeroom on the south side of the fifth floor of Mt. Battle. I have reason to believe that that storeroom contains a clue as to the fate of the abductees. It will be unlocked, unguarded, and unwatched for the next two hours. I suggest you go and check it out while there is still time," the voice informed Ash.

"I don't suppose you're going to tell me why you think this storeroom has info, how that room we found the other day gave you a clue, or who you think's behind all this and what's really going on?" Ash asked.

"No. I've nearly told you too much as it is. If anyone were to, ah, _coerce_ you into revealing your contact with me, I wouldn't want you to tell them anything that might lead them to me," the voice said. "That would be most…unfortunate."

"Fair enough," Ash said. "One thing, though."

"Yes?" the voice said.

"Do you think it's Mr. Ford?" Ash asked.

"What?" asked the voice.

"Ford. One of my teammates got it into his head that Ford's been kidnapping people and somehow draining energy from them to keep himself healthy and strong, which is why he's still pretty fit for a Pokemon his age," Ash said. "And considering how he seems to be putting a lot of effort into covering all this up, it'd make sense if he were involved."

"…"

"Hello?" Ash asked.

"…You have two hours. Don't waste them," the voice said brusquely.

"Wait-" Ash started, but he was too late, and the caller hung up. He frowned. "Well, that was unnecessarily mysterious."

He hung up the phone and exited the booth. His friends were all waiting for him outside. "Well?" Pikachu asked.

"What happened?" Sasha inquired.

"Do we gotta go crack some sucka's skulls or bury some bodies, yo?" Leo asked. Tiny sucked his pacifier in what could be construed as a question, but probably wasn't.

Ash glanced around and quietly said, "We need to go to Mt. Battle."

"What? Why?" Pikachu asked.

"Are we going to be doing more looking around? I thought we were warned off that," Sasha said warily.

"It's complicated. I'll explain on the way there," Ash said, ushering the others towards the exit. "We don't have a lot of time, especially if we're going to find out what happened to The Brock and Andy."

"Why do we care about that mofo again?" Leo asked.

"King K!" Pikachu hissed.

"What? It's not like we were close to the guy or anything…we only met once…" Leo muttered to himself as they headed out to the hot streets of Battlus. "I'm pretty sure he was gonna try to mug us…"

"KING K!"

"What?! He was!"

…

A little later…

"You sure this is the right place?" Pikachu asked Ash, who, as we already know by now, was not renowned for his sense of direction.

"The Pokemon on the phone said a storeroom in the southern part of the fifth floor," Ash said. "And according to that handy directory we found earlier, this is it."

The team was standing in front of an unassuming door in an unassuming hall somewhere in the Mt. Battle facility. They had had little difficulty getting into the building (like before, since they were entered in the tournament, few people saw any reason they shouldn't be there), so made it to the designated area with few problems. "It doesn't look like a storeroom," said Sasha, although admittedly she'd never seen one before.

"Well, that's cause we're outside it, yo," Leo pointed out.

"Then let's go in," Ash said, trying the doorknob. It was unlocked, just as their informant had promised. He opened the door, and they cautiously entered the dark room.

"It's dark," Leo said, stating the obvious.

"Shouldn't there be a light switch?" Pikachu asked.

"Hang on." Ash ran his paw around the walls near the door until he found the switch. With a click, the lights came on, revealing a medium-sized room full of metal shelves on which boxes, gadgets, costumes, equipment, spare machine parts, props, and all sorts of other things were lying about. Shelves covered every wall from ceiling to floor, and there were more racks standing in rows in the middle of the room with even more objects piled on their storage space. "This definitely looks like the place," Leo commented as Ash shut the door so nobody would see them rummaging about where they didn't belong.

"Where do we start?" Pikachu asked, glancing around. He was relieved to note there wasn't nearly as much dust here as there had been in the last unauthorized room they had checked out, seeing as how this storeroom clearly saw more frequent use.

"The Pokemon didn't say," Ash admitted. "Just said that there should be a clue here as to what happened to all the fighters who have disappeared over the years."

"That's not particularly helpful," Leo said.

Ash sighed. "I know, but that's all I have…I guess we'll have to search everywhere."

"This'll take a while…" Pikachu said.

"I guess we should get started, then," said Sasha.

And so they began their search, splitting up to check everything. They opened every box, climbed to the top of every shelf, examined every piece of equipment, and—in Leo's case—tried on every costume. "Do you think I look good in this?" Leo asked, showing them a mask he had put on.

"No," they all said. He scowled and put it back.

Tiny decided to help too, wandering around and poking at stuff on the shelves low enough for him to reach, even though he had no idea what he was looking for. Of course, since none of the others knew what they were looking for either, this did not hinder him overmuch. He was passing by a rather large crate shoved in a corner when he thought he heard something move inside it. He paused, and then walked back over to it, sucking on his pacifier in curiosity. He knocked on it. Nothing happened. He pressed his head against the side and listened carefully. Nothing happened. He scratched his head in puzzlement. Odd. He wasn't sure why, but…he got the strangest feeling that there was something in there. Something alive.

Using the nearby shelves as a ladder, he scrambled up to the top of the crate and shoved at the lid, noticing that it was ajar. It slid aside and fell to the floor with a thud, catching the attention of the others. "What was that?" Sasha asked.

"I think somebody knocked something over," Leo said. "And since it wasn't me—this time--I blame Tiny."

"Tiny?" Ash called. "What are you doing?"

"I don't think he can answer you," Pikachu pointed out. "You know, seeing as how he doesn't talk and all."

Even if Tiny were capable of speech, it was doubtful that he would have been able to voice a reply at that moment, given that he was paralyzed with fright. Despite the lights from overhead, he could see nothing inside the crate but darkness…

Nothing except for a pair of very angry red eyes glaring back at him from the gloom. Tiny pulled out his pacifier and screamed.

Ash's heart stopped, feeling a thrill of terror as Tiny's fear surged into him through their bond. "TINY!" he yelled, rushing towards the yell. The others followed him. They reached the crate just in time to see Tiny stumble backwards and fall to the ground as a shadowy figure surged out of the box and landed almost on top of him. Acting more on reflex than on thought, Ash threw an Aura Sphere at the figure, fearing for the life of his 'child.' The figure, moving faster than most Pokemon were able, jumped out of the way of the Sphere, which smashed into the shelves near where it had been standing, exploding and causing its contents to rain down on the terrified Tiny, much to Ash's horror. Sasha quickly darted over and covered Tiny with her body in an attempt to shield him…

And needn't have bothered. Much to their surprise, the figure fired an Ice Beam at the falling equipment, freezing it solid, and then flung several small, sharp ice daggers that shattered the frozen materials and caused them to rain down on Sasha's back as small bits of snow and hail. Tiny kept screaming, though whether it was because of fright at what had just happened or because a Pokemon he wasn't comfortable with was invading his personal space was unclear.

Adrenaline (and guilt at what he had almost just done) still running high, Ash turned on the figure…and was astonished to realize it was someone he knew. "You?!"

_You_, the ninja Buneary replied coldly, clicking her claws against the metal shelves. _How…interesting to see you again. You seem to have picked up some more tagalongs since the last time we met. I'm starting to think you have a habit of that._

"Hey, it's your girlfriend!" Leo announced.

"She's not my girlfriend!" Pikachu shouted angrily.

Sasha shook the ice bits off her back and got off of Tiny, who stopped screaming once she was a few feet away from him. "So this is the ninja you told me about?"

"Looks like it," Ash said, not taking his eyes off the Buneary.

"What is she doing here?" asked the Absol.

_I could ask you the same question,_ the ninja clicked back. _No matter where I go, no matter what I do, _you_ are always there. You claim you are not following me, but this is happening too often to just be a coincidence._ Pikachu translated it to the others, as usual.

"We're here in town trying to win the tournament because we think the prize is one of those gemstones we've been searching for," Ash said. "You know, those star-shaped ones you tried to recover from Tarantulas? To repay us for helping you get that scroll at the old castle near Turtle Town?"

_I had thought as much, _the ninja said, still looking at them with suspicion. _But that doesn't explain what you are doing _here_, in my hiding place! The gem you are looking for is not here. I should know. I've been staying here ever since I came to this volcano._

They blinked in surprise. "You've been hiding here all this time?" asked Pikachu.

_Yes,_ said the ninja.

"What, in that crate over there?" Leo asked, pointing to the crate Tiny had found her in.

_Yes, _said the ninja.

"Uh, why there?" asked Ash.

She shrugged. _Nobody ever looks in it. I've slept in worse places._ They sweatdropped.

"I probably have too, come to think of it…" Sasha commented.

"Okay, but why are you _here?_ Not in this storeroom, but here in Battlus?" Pikachu asked.

The ninja paused. _I might tell you if you first tell me why _you_ are in this storeroom. As I said, what you are looking for is not here._

"We didn't think it would be here," said Ash. "But…ah…I don't suppose you've heard the story of the 'Seven Wonders of Mt. Battle?'" The puzzled look she gave him indicated that she had not.

"According to legend, fighters have been disappearing from this place for years," Leo said. "A friend of ours vanished last night, and we got a tip that this storeroom would be a good place to search for clues."

The ninja narrowed her eyes. _I see…in that case, you certainly _are_ in the right place. How strange, though, that of all the storerooms in this building, the place where I was hiding would be the one you'd search in._

"Then there _is_ a clue here?" Ash asked excitedly.

"Awesome! Then that weird Pokemon hasn't been sending us on a wild Zangoose chase after all!" Leo said.

"Hold on, you haven't held up your part. Why are you in Battlus?" Pikachu asked.

The ninja paused. She probably shouldn't tell them. Their knowing her mission would only cause them to get in her way. She was understandably surprised when she found herself telling them anyway. _The Pokemon I have been searching for is in this city. I intend to find him and kill him when he is at his most vulnerable._

They started at this. "The guy you're looking for is _here?_" Ash said in astonishment.

"The one that's apparently immortal and you need that scroll and some life crystals to kill?" Leo asked.

"Who is he?" Sasha asked.

She glared at them. _If I told you, you would try to stop me. And then I would have to kill you for getting in my way._

"You mean, you would _try_ to kill us," Pikachu said, hand going to his sword.

She narrowed her eyes. _No._ She took a step back into a faint shadow…and, much to their astonishment, disappeared completely.

"Wh-what?!" Leo cried.

"Where did she go?" asked Ash.

They ran over to the shadow. There was nothing there. It wasn't even a particularly large shadow, but there was nowhere else she could have gone. So where was she?

They got their answer when Pikachu's shadow wavered and suddenly the ninja was _right there behind him,_ a claw held to his throat before he could cry out or draw his sword. He froze in disbelief. "H-how did you…" he stammered.

_I would not try to kill you. I would succeed,_ the ninja clicked coolly. She released Pikachu and backflipped, landing on top of the rim of the crate she had been hiding in. They all tensed, regarding her with much more wariness and concern than before.

"What just happened?" whispered an astonished Ash.

"That…that wasn't possible, was it?!" cried Pikachu, shaken that the ninja could have killed him so easily and there was nothing he could have done.

"Dude, I've only seen that sort of thing on television!" said an awestruck Leo.

"I have heard that there are some Dark-types who are able to travel through shadow…" Sasha commented. "But she isn't a Dark-type! How did she do that?!"

Ash narrowed his eyes. "What _are_ you?"

_Nothing for you to be concerned about,_ the ninja clicked. _So long as you don't get in my way. I do not make a habit of killing bystanders or children, but I will not hesitate to remove any obstacle that gets in the way of my vengeance._

"Cold…" Leo murmured. "Which makes sense, since she seems to like Ice moves…"

The Buneary formed an ice dagger in her claws and hurled it across the room, thankfully not towards any of them. It struck an innocuous-looking screw in the side of one of the shelves, causing it to click and push inwards. There was a rumbling noise, and the shelving in the middle of the room slid together to form a block. The shelves then partially retracted into the ground one by one, each consecutive shelf stopping its descent slightly higher than the shelves before it, until it formed a large makeshift staircase leading to the ceiling. A panel receded just above the highest shelf, revealing a portal to a new area. Leo gasped in amazement. "Dude…it's the Stairs of Mystery! The Third Wonder of Mt. Battle! They really _do_ exist!"

"Wow…I don't think there's any way we could have found this on our own!" Ash said.

"That's definitely a clue of some kind," Sasha agreed.

"Um…thanks?" Pikachu said uncertainly to the ninja.

_What you are looking for is up there,_ the ninja said, not quite replying. _Whether it will help you or not, I neither know nor care. Pray that our paths do not cross again, or else…things could get messy._ She backflipped into the crate. When they looked into it a moment later, it was completely empty.

"How does she _do_ that?" wondered an amazed Sasha.

"She's a ninja. They're good at stuff like that," Leo speculated.

"You've certainly chosen an interesting womon for yourself," Ash said.

Pikachu's face turned red. "She's not my girlfriend!"

"I dunno, I think she likes you. You're the only one of us she tried that shadow trick on," Leo pointed out.

"Wouldn't that indicate she _doesn't_ like me?" Pikachu asked.

"Nah, it could just be her method of showing affection," Ash said.

Pikachu grinned meanly. "Ah, just like Misty shows her affection for you by hitting you on the head with a mallet?"

Ash flushed and Leo laughed. "Dude, people actually do that in real life?!" the Squirtle cried in amusement.

"Th-that's totally different!" Ash stammered.

"Suuuure it is," Pikachu said with a grin.

"Should we not investigate the chamber above us?" Sasha interrupted.

"Uh, right. Yeah. Let's go do that. Tiny, you okay? That was kind of scary back there" Ash asked the Larvitar, who just stared at him blankly.

"Looks okay to me," said Leo.

"Then again, he always looks like that," Pikachu pointed out. Tiny sucked on his pacifier but said nothing.

They climbed up the shelf-stairs, which rattled a little under their weight but otherwise provided stable support as they used them to reach the hole in the ceiling. One by one, they pulled themselves into the hole, and what they found…

Was not what they expected. "What…the…hell?" Leo wondered as he looked around. "Okay…this is…really weird," said the disturbed Pikachu.

"I was hoping for a clue, but this…I don't even know what this is," said Ash.

"Perhaps we're in the wrong secret chamber above a storeroom?" Sasha asked doubtfully. "There could be more than one, in a building like this…"

Tiny, freaked out, sucked rapidly on his pacifier and hid behind Ash's leg.

They were in an average-sized room with a high ceiling from which a single light shone down balefully on them. Like the room below, the walls were covered from floor to ceiling in shelves, but rather than equipment and boxes these shelves held…

Figurines. Pokemon figurines, to be more precise; incredibly intricate and detailed statuettes in lifelike colors with alarmingly realistic eyes, each standing on a small circular base with a little brass plaque with a name and date on it placed in front of them. There were at least a hundred of them, if not more.

"What _is_ this place?" Pikachu wondered. "It looks like the kind of place my little brother would put all his action figures up for display purposes, except on a larger scale."

"Me too," said Leo. "Except mine aren't as…creepy. And don't look like they're all staring at me…" He shuddered.

"These look sort of like some of the figurines they're selling at the gift shop," Ash recalled as they examined the statuettes more carefully. "You know, souvenirs of some of the most famous fighters?"

Pikachu nodded. "Maybe Ford had a secret collection for himself. But…I don't recall seeing most of these in the gift shop. What are they doing here?" He frowned. "And why do they all have dates on them?"

Sasha gasped, drawing their attention over to where she was standing, near the end of the shelf with the figurines that had the most recent dates. "Over here," she said, a horrified look on her face. "The two newest ones. Look at them."

They looked. One was of a very familiar squinty-eyed Graveler whose plaque read "The Brock" and had yesterday's date on it. The one right next to it was of an equally familiar shifty-looking Delibird with a plaque that read "Bandy Andy" and was dated earlier that week. A chill ran down their spines, and they looked at the other figurines in a new light.

"Okay, this is rather creepy," Pikachu said after a moment. "Why exactly are there figurines of The Brock and Bandy Andy here? And am I mistaken in thinking that the dates on their plaques are the _same days they went missing?_"

Leo pulled out his laptop. "Hold on a second…" He flipped it open and brought up his web browser.

"What are you doing?" Sasha asked.

"I'm cross-referencing the names and dates on all these figurines here with a website I found the other day that lists all the fighters who allegedly went missing while in Mt. Battle and the last date they were seen. Give me a minute." They gave him several, as he went down row by row of shelving, carefully checking the contents on each plaque against the information in the online database. With every figurine he examined, the expression on his face grew more and more worried. "Crap…it's what I was afraid of."

"What is?" asked Ash.

"Let me guess: the names and dates on all these figurines are a match to when a particular fighter vanished from Mt. Battle?" Pikachu guessed.

Leo nodded. "The figurines themselves, too. Each of these must represent one of the fighters who disappeared…including Andy and The Brock."

"And all this means…what?" Ash asked, getting more disturbed by the minute. "That's creepy, yeah, but it doesn't explain what they're all doing here. And what _happened_ to the disappeared fighters."

"Could they be trophies?" Sasha ventured. "Reminders of victory the abductor crafted after doing…something to his victims?"

"Or worse…" Leo whispered. "Do you think it's possible that…these _are_ the victims?"

They gave him a sharp look. "What? How is that even possible?!" Pikachu asked. He did not, Leo noticed, instantly dismiss the idea, as he had so often in the past.

"Why do you think that?" Ash asked.

Leo shrugged. "Well, this is the second secret room we've found in Mt. Battle, and it's doubtful that it could have been built without Ford's knowing about it, which means he must have a hand in whatever's going on. While that doesn't mean they _couldn't_ just be trophies to celebrate whatever he's done to the missing fighters…there's also the matter of the machine blueprints we found in the other room. Remember those?"

They nodded. "Yeah, you said they looked like plans for a device that could drain energy from something…or something like that," Ash recalled.

"And Tracey and the Professor confirmed that, after a more detailed analysis of the (slightly blurry) photo you took of it," Pikachu said.

Sasha frowned. "And not only that, but they said they thought that it looked as if it could harness the power of a Star Badge to do…whatever it did."

"Right. So…put that together with the fact that we _know _there's a Star Badge here and that there's all these rather suspicious figurines and we get…what, exactly?" Leo asked.

They shrugged. "I dunno. You're the genre savvy one," Ash pointed out.

Leo sighed. "Yeah, it can be a curse sometimes…right, bear with me for a minute. First: we found rather old plans for a machine that we _think_ uses a Star Badge to drain energy from…something. Given the age of the document and how long it was in that room, it's probably safe to assume that said machine has already been constructed. Second: fighters have been disappearing for years, and we just happen to find a room full of figurines resembling those missing fighters, complete with the date upon which they disappeared. Third: Ford, despite being an old Blaziken, looks a lot younger than he should, and is more fit and powerful than most Pokemon his age. Now, assuming all of these things are connected…" He turned to look at the figurines lining the walls. "Here's what I think is going on. Ford's been kidnapping fighters and sticking them in the machine we found plans for and is using the Star Badge to drain their life energy to keep himself healthy and vitalized. The fighters, drained of their energy, turn into…well, figurines."

They gave him a skeptical look. "The energy-draining machine I can buy, but…why exactly would the fighters turn into figurines when their power was stolen? Why not just withered husks?" Sasha asked.

"Or die? Or disintegrate? I think I saw that on TV once…" Ash recalled.

"Yeah, so did I," said Leo.

"So, what makes you think the figurines are the actual fighters then?" Pikachu asked.

"Eh, I don't know for sure," Leo admitted. "It's just a good guess. It's just as likely that they are, in fact, nothing more but trophies Ford keeps to remind himself of all the fighters whose lives he's absorbed. Assuming its Ford. It probably is, though."

"You don't think it could be Wes? I thought he had the Star Badge," Ash said.

"We don't actually _know_ that he has it, the thing on that belt could be a fake. I believe we considered that possibility?" Sasha pointed out.

Leo scowled. "We could tell for sure if my shades or Ash's Aura-sight worked in this stupid town. Then we'd be able to see if they had any signs of Aura or bio-energy."

"Easy, we'll just borrow one and scan it outside the range of the dampening field," Ash said, reaching for the figurine of The Brock.

"Wait, don't! It could be-" an alarmed Leo cried, too late to stop Ash from pulling the figurine off from the shelf and triggering an alarm. The lights turned red, the hole in the floor sealed up, and vents started pumping gas into the room. "Booby-trapped."

"Dammit, Ash!" Pikachu snapped.

"How was I supposed to know it was a trap?! It's not like we can use any See-Trap Orbs in this place, anyway!" Ash said. Then he yawned. "Great. It's sleeping gas."

"At least it isn't poison gas," Sasha pointed out, her eyelids drooping. "Then we'd really be in trouble…I'm not feeling so good, I think I'm going to-" She passed out.

"Wonderful," Pikachu muttered, next to fall asleep.

"Sorry…" Ash apologized before he fell unconscious, Tiny dozing against his side.

"This is…fucked up…" Leo sighed before he collapsed on the floor as well. "Next time I'll…remember…to bring a gas mask…" He fell asleep.

…

Some time later…

"The lot of you is in very, _very_ big trouble, do you understand me?" Ford asked the Fighting Four, barely controlled anger causing his voice and feathers to quiver as he glared at them furiously from over his desk. When the sleeping gas had worn off, the group had found themselves surrounded by some very angry-looking guards and a very displeased May, who immediately dragged them off to Ford's office. Tiny had screamed, but one of the guards had covered the Larvitar's mouth, and did not seem particularly bothered by Tiny trying to gnaw his fingers off. Ash had winced, full of concern and worry for his child. The others were a bit more worried for themselves, with good reason, considering how very upset Ford seemed to be with them. "You were found in an EXTREMLY top-secret area without permission that you couldn't POSSIBLY have just wandered into by yourselves. While I could conceivably see you lot accidentally finding the secret room in the locker area, I can't honestly believe that you happened to stumble upon this one by chance, especially since you had no reason to even _be_ in a storeroom in the first place! Those are off-limits to fighters! Which leads me to believe that the four of you are not, in fact, fighters hoping for a piece of fame and glory, but undercover law-enforcement agents sent to try and investigate some of the, ah, less unsavory aspects of my business. Or even worse, you're working for my competitors and trying to undermine me! It would certainly explain some of the actions you've taken so far while competing in this tournament, like how you seem to keep making _friends_ with your opponents, which is completely the opposite of everything this facility stands for! Do you have any idea how many fighters have started shaking hands and becoming amicable with each other in their matches after following your example?! And what's worse, the crowds are actually starting to _like_ it! They're starting to think that fights should be more about honor and camaraderie than plain old guts and bloodshed and violence! You have no IDEA how much this could set me back! And let's not even start on that fiasco yesterday, with those hooligans with their singing and their robot balloon and their demonic dome of darkness…I wouldn't be surprised if you rigged the whole thing to further ruin me!"

"I-it's not what you think, honest!" Ash protested, frantically trying to think of what, in fact, it actually was.

"Yeah, homes, it's all a big misunderstanding!" Leo said.

"Is that so?" Ford asked evenly. He clasped his hands before him. "Well then. I'd like to think that I'm a fair individual, and as such I'll give you a chance to explain yourselves. Bear in mind, however, that whatever you choose to tell me will not only determine whether or not you're expelled from this tournament…but may also decide whether you ever see the light of day again. I don't take kindly to Pokemon poking their noses where they don't belong or meddling in how I run things…"

Their minds raced as they tried to think of a good excuse that would not sound completely unbelievable. Leo, grabbing the first thing that came to mind, shouted, "There was a ninja, yo!"

Ford and May and everyone else stared at him. "A ninja," Ford said flatly.

"Yeah, there was this crazy ninja bitch! She appeared out of nowhere and attacked us, fo'sure!" Leo said, praying that the ninja in question wouldn't hear about this and tear out his throat for Rattating her out.

"We fought back and drove her off, then chased her to see what she was up to," Pikachu said, quickly picking up the thread. "She led us to that storeroom, and we had a big fight. The close quarters made it difficult to hit her, which is why there was stuff all over the place when you found us; it got knocked over in the heat of battle."

"One of her attacks accidentally triggered the switch that revealed that secret room above the ceiling. We had no idea it was there, honest!" Ash said, wincing internally. As mentioned previously, he hated lying, but was well aware that he didn't have much of a choice at the moment.

"She fled up the stairs to the hidden room, and we followed in pursuit," Sasha continued. "We were going to continue the fight, but she knocked over one of the figurines and triggered the room's defenses. She slipped out before the room was sealed off, trapping us inside…and that's how we were when your security team found us."

They all thought it a convincing story, but from the way a vein on Ford's forehead was throbbing it was clear that the Blaziken didn't believe it. "…That's it? That's the best you've got?! You were attacked by a fucking NINJA?! Of all the-"

"Actually sir, that's not _entirely_ implausible," May spoke up, startling everyone.

Ford gave her a surprised look. "Huh? What're you talking about, Miss Maple?"

"Over the last week, we've had reports of minor thefts from the kitchen and other areas around town, as well as occasional security footage catching glimpses of a Pokemon wrapped in dark clothing sneaking about. They were rather blurry and brief shots—the Pokemon in question is clearly very good at stealth—but it would correlate with this story of a ninja hiding somewhere in the building," May explained. "Additionally, when we secured the storeroom we found signs of it being lived-in in one of the larger crates. It's possible that this 'ninja,' whoever it is, was using the storeroom as a hiding place."

"Hmm…" Ford murmured to himself, calming down. "We really have a ninja prowling about? That's…interesting…"

"See? We told ya!" Leo said triumphantly.

"Maybe she's this saboteur or secret agent you're worried about," Pikachu suggested, embellishing their lie.

"It could be…" Ford agreed reluctantly. "But…hold on a minute, that still leaves two big questions! Why'd she attack you, and what were you even doing in the building in the first place! Your match isn't for another few hours, and don't give me that line about being lost or getting the time wrong again!"

"We were…" Ash started, desperately trying to think of a good alibi.

"Trying to catch a glimpse of Wes, yo," Leo said, quickly hitting on an idea.

"Wes?" Ford asked in surprise.

"Yeah, dawg! If we make it through tonight's semifinals and tomorrow's finals, we get to fight him, right? We wanted to meet him in person before the big event!" Leo said.

"And get his autograph," Pikachu said, thinking quickly. "We had such great success getting the Pokerockers' signatures earlier today that we thought we'd press our luck and see if we could get his, too."

Ford stared at them in surprise for a moment before bursting into laughter. "Hahahahaha! It seems I've misjudged you…deep down; you all are a bunch of fanboys, aren't you? Er, and a fangirl," Ford condeded to Sasha, who frowned at him. "But…then why did the ninja attack you?"

"We bumped into her on the way up to Wes's room," Ash lied. "We must've interrupted whatever she was up to, so she tried to get rid of us so we couldn't tell anybody she was lurking about."

"And if we vanished, most people would just chalk it up as another one of the mysterious disappearances that seem to happen to a lot of fighters in this town," Sasha said.

"Ah, you've heard about those," Ford said Mareepishly. "One of this place's dirtiest secrets…people have gone missing almost since the day Mt. Battle opened up, and we're still no closer to figuring out who's behind it than we were when it first started!"

"Really? You have no idea at all?" Ash asked, trying not to sound too curious.

Ford shook his head sadly. "Nope! To be honest, that's sort of, ah, the truth behind the room you stumbled on. It's my little 'Hall of Shame.'"

"Hall of Shame?" Pikachu asked.

Ford nodded regretfully. "You see, I am responsible for the safety and wellbeing of the people and fighters of Battlus. The fact that so many Pokemon continue to be abducted right under my beak has always placed a heavy burden of sorrow on my soul."

"Couldn't you just cancel the tournaments?" Ash suggested. "You know, so fighters will stop disappearing…" He trailed off when Ford and May gave him incredulous looks. "Er, never mind…stupid question, I suppose…"

"_Very_," Ford growled. "Without Mt. Battle, what other source of revenue do you suppose this town could draw in?"

"Mining?" Pikachu suggested.

"Channeling the geothermal energies of the volcano underneath us to supply power to distant shores? Er, yo," Leo offered.

"Open a resort?" Ash guessed.

Ford snorted. "Giant Volcano has been the site of epic battles for centuries! We're not going to stop that tradition just because people keep disappearing!"

"Regardless of the immense safety risk to everyone involved…" May muttered to herself. Ford glared at her.

"Uh, getting back on subject, what was that about the Hall of Shame?" Sasha prompted.

"Hmm? Ah, yes, heavy burden of sorrow on my soul and all that," Ford recalled. "Since I am in charge of this place, the guilt for failing to apprehend whatever fiend is behind this lies on me. Whenever someone vanishes on my watch, I commemorate my failure by crafting a figurine in the image of the fighter who has disappeared and place it on the shelves with the others, so that from time to time I can gaze upon them and draw strength to perform the tasks laid before me."

"How'd you get them ready so fast, then?" Ash asked. "Before we got knocked out, I, ah, noticed that the latest figurine was dated just yesterday."

"Yeah, isn't it a bit soon to assume that that fighter's gone for good?" Pikachu asked.

"And for that matter, how'd you get it done so fast, yo? I mean, it _was_ just yesterday. And we didn't even hear about it until now, dawg!" Leo said. "Which is weird, since we knew the guy. Sort of."

"We have a very efficient manufacturing industry here," Ford explained. "When I heard that The Brock had vanished from his room at the Pokemon Center, I immediately feared the worst and ordered a memorial figure crafted in his likeness. The figurine makers do good work, and it was finished and put beside the others just this morning. If The Brock turns up in the near future and it all turns out to be a misunderstanding, I will happily dispose of the figurine…but until then, it stays where it is, so that I will be reminded of how, once again, I have failed an up-and-coming young fighter…" He sniffed and wiped at his eye, but since he was wearing shades it was hard to tell if he was actually crying. "I hope you four don't wind up along my collection."

"We'll certainly try not to," Pikachu said.

"I hope you succeed," Ford said, seeming to get his feelings back under control. "We'll look into this ninja thing. I doubt she's related to whatever's causing the disappearances, but I'm not very fond of anyone sneaking around my facility without permission…if you get what I'm saying."

They did. "Don't worry, we have no intention of poking around in restricted parts of the building again," Ash assured him.

"Yeah, all sorts of crazy stuff happen to us when we do that," Leo said. "Like ninjas!"

Ford chuckled. "That it does, that it does. Anyway, I suppose that's everything."

"So we're done here?" Sasha asked.

Ford nodded. "Yep."

"And, uh…are we still in the tournament?" Ash said tentatively.

Ford stroked his chin in thought. "Wellll…I probably should kick you out, on principle, but…considering how you just defeated the Pokerockers, some might accuse me of playing favorites if I booted you right after your victory against one of the most famous bands in the world. That could give people, ah, the wrong idea. So, yeah, you're still in…so long as you don't breathe a word about my source of shame. I would appreciate that, and if you need a little 'persuasion'…" He slid open a desk drawer and pulled out a thick wad of cash.

"Oh, you don't need to-" Ash and Pikachu started reflexively.

"Hell yes, we'll take it! We need all the persuading we can get, yo!" Leo quickly interrupted before they said anything stupid. They frowned, but he winked at them to show he knew what he was doing. Probably. It was hard to tell under his sunglasses.

"Glad to hear it," Ford said, sliding the cash across the desk. Somewhat reluctantly, Ash took it, feeling a little dirty inside. "Remember, this'll be our little secret."

"Of course," Pikachu said, trying not to look uncomfortable.

"No problem," said Leo.

"We understand perfectly," said Sasha.

Ford nodded, pleased. "Good, good. Now that that's taken care of, you had better head on out of here and get ready for your next match. It's gonna be a big one! You'll be in the semifinals, facing off against the legendary Zoro and his team of libertadors!"

Pikachu's ears perked up at this. "Zoro, huh? I've heard of him. He's supposed to be a pretty good swordsmon, isn't he? I look forward to crossing blades with him in the ring."

"The crowd should, too," Ford said. "It'll be a fight to remember!"

"Exactly who is this Zoro guy, anyway?" Ash asked.

"He's a hero of sorts to the people of La Mancha, a place on the western coast of Ameroupe that has been under the oppressive thumb of the Espaniards for a couple hundred years," May explained. "A guerilla freedom fighter, harrying the occupying forces and trying to win small freedoms for his people. Legend would have you believe that he's immortal and has been fighting ever since the initial invasion—historical documentation would certainly seem to confirm that a Pokemon matching his description has been causing the Espaniards trouble for that long—but it's more likely that 'Zoro' is more of a title than an actual person, passed down through rebel families across generations. He regularly competes in our tournaments with some of his closest allies to obtain money to support his people back home as well as to bring the suffering of his country to the attention of the world at large. Naturally, the Espanish government has not been happy about our letting him use our facilities to do this."

"Screw them!" Ford said cheerfully. "They want him off the air, they'll have to pay for it…and so far they haven't. Typical Espanish tightwads!"

"He sounds like an interesting guy," said the impressed Ash.

"And you said we'll be fighting him and his team?" Sasha asked.

"Yeah, a bunch of other freedom fighters who he's close to, though none of them have quite the rep he does," Ford said. "Pretty civil too, and buys into that honor TS, so…eh, I guess it's inevitable that you guys will be 'nice' to each other, isn't it?" He grimaced. "You know, I thought you weren't exactly into honor or fairness yourself either. So how come you keep making friends and stuff with fighters?"

"Er," Ash said, lost for words.

"You don't need a sense of honor to make friends, yo," Leo said. "How do you think I got in tight with these homies?"

Ford laughed at this. "Fair enough, fair enough. Well, good luck out there. I for one will be rooting for the four of you."

"Thanks," said the touched Pikachu.

"I didn't say I was rooting for you to win," Ford said. "A good percentage of bets are already being placed saying you'll beat Zoro! You lose; I stand to make quite a tidy profit!" They sweatdropped. "Uh, that's not to say I'm asking you not to try your hardest or anything, I'll make a good deal of money either way."

"So good to see where your priorities are," Pikachu said flatly.

"I'm a tycoon, my wallet's of the upmost importance to me!" Ford said unashamedly. "Anyway, you can go now. Don't want to keep you so long you miss your match! Or then again, maybe I do? Heheheheh…"

"You have a wonderful sense of humor, dawg," Leo said as they rose from their seats.

"Yeah, I know. Oh! And Gonzales…how's your kid doing? Looks like he's put on a bit of weight since last I saw him," Ford commented.

"He's a growing mon," Ash said, glancing proudly at Tiny, who stared blankly back. "It won't be long before he's fighting alongside us! Not in this tournament, of course."

"Of course. But maybe the next one?" Ford suggested.

Ash shrugged. "Could be, sir."

As soon as they had left, May frowned at Ford. "You never told me about this Hall of Shame before, sir."

"It wasn't something you needed to know, Miss Maple," Ford said curtly.

"I see," she said evenly. There was a pause. And then she asked, "Is…"

"Your father there?" Ford laughed bitterly. "Of course he is, Miss Maple. What would a Hall of Shame be without the very first Pokemon that I failed…without one of the greatest fighters of all time, King Sloth?"

"Think he's telling the truth?" Ash asked the others quietly once they were outside and out of earshot of anyone who might be listening.

"No," Sasha said.

"Or at least, not all of it," Pikachu said. "Even if he's not actually behind the disappearances, it's a sure bet he's connected to them somehow…as is that so-called 'hall of shame', I bet."

"I still say he somehow miniaturized those fighters and made them into trophies, yo," Leo said. "That's what happens when characters got defeated in Big Bash Bros. Brawl."

"Which is a video game," Pikachu pointed out.

"A video game about characters fighting each other in big showy matches, just like we're doing here, dawg," Leo pointed out. "Although, to be fair, the characters in the game aren't the _real_ heroes from the series, but clones made by an omnipotent foot."

"A…foot?" Ash asked in confusion.

"Yeah, Mistress Foot. Who has a sister named Sane Foot," Leo said.

"…Sane Foot?" Pikachu asked, feeling like he was losing his sanity.

"Yes. Because she's scarily sane," Leo said.

"But…how can a foot be sane or insane?" asked the perplexed Sasha.

"Oh, you can tell by the way she moves in battle," Leo said.

They all stared at him. "Riiiiight," Ash said slowly. "Anyway, that probably isn't the case here. Whatever the heck you just said, I mean."

"Yeah, probably not," Leo admitted. "I'm still sticking to my theory, though. Dawg."

"We'll find out the truth soon enough…" Sasha said. "I only hope that it won't be through first-hand experience…" Tiny sucked his pacifier in agreement.

"By the way…King K, why did you accept Ford's money?" Ash asked.

Leo frowned at him. "Dude, don't you remember? We're supposed to be in this tournament for cold hard cash, yo! If we acted like we couldn't be bought off, Ford might get suspicious and try to ensure our silence through…_other_ means."

Pikachu grimaced. "Good point. Nice save, King K."

Leo smirked. "Thanks! Plus, I can use this moolah to buy all sorts of wicked new games!" The others facefaulted.

…

A few hours later…

"Ladies and gentlemon, children of all ages! Welcome to the Mt. Battle tenth anniversary tournament semifinals!" the MC cried, causing the crowd to cheer. "This match will be one of two which will determine who will proceed to the finals tomorrow morning! And whoever wins that match gets the honor of a championship bout with the one, the only, WES PSYCHE!" The crowd cheered louder at the name of the reigning champ. "So, which of the two teams before us will be the ones to move onward to the finals? In one corner we have the Merciless Executioners, the Fearsome (and oddly Friendly) Foursome, the FIGHTING FOUR!" The audience cheered as Ash, Pikachu, Leo, and Sasha waved to them. "And in the other corner…we have the Champions of Freedom, the Bringers of Hope, _Para la libertad_!" There was a confused pause. The MC sighed. "You know, Zoro and his friends?"

There was a collective "Ohhhh," from the crowd, and then they started cheering again as the other team of Pokemon entered the room, accompanied by salsa music.

The Fighting Four sized up their competition. Like them, there were only four Pokemon in the opposing team. One was a very large and very muscular Tauros wearing a skintight red and blue luchador mask over his face. The second was a Mightyena wearing a similar mask, only in black and silver. The third was a very beautiful Roserade with a red mask and scarf. Finally, there was a rather striking Meowth with a black domino mask, a black wide-brimmed hat, a black cape, a medallion with a Z on it, and a sword. He looked much more competent (and masculine, and intelligent, and generally better in every way) than the Meowth they had encountered yesterday. The Meowth grinned and extended a paw to Ash. "_Buenos dias, muchacos! _I am Zoro. You may have heard of me. These are my companions, El Toro, Lobo Fuerte, and Rosa." Each Pokemon bowed graciously as their name was mentioned.

"It's nice to meet you," Ash said, shaking Zoro's paw. "And, er, fight you! We don't intend to let you leave this arena in one piece!" he threatened, remembering Ford's comment about being too friendly.

Zoro chuckled. "I would not want it any other way, senor! I extend the same warning to you as well. We are all veterans in both the arena and the field of war, and our skills are not to be taken lightly!"

"No offense, dawg—er, cat—but it's a little hard to take you seriously when your names basically mean 'Fox,' 'the Bull,' 'Hard Wolf,' and 'Rose,' yo," Leo joked. Pikachu glared at him. "What? They do."

"_¿Ah, así que usted sepa un pedacito del español_?" Zoro asked, looking impressed. (Ah, so you know a bit of Espanish?)

"_Eh, estudio un pedacito en mi tiempo de repuesto,_" Leo replied. "Yo."

(Eh, I study a bit in my spare time. Yo.)

"Huh?" said Ash, not understanding a word they were saying. Neither did the audience.

"Hey, say it in something we all can understand!" the MC shouted. "Damn foreigners, with all their weird customs and languages and pickiness about hygiene…" Zoro's group rolled their eyes, having heard all this many times before.

"Those aren't our real names," El Toro said. "They're…you know…code names."

"Ooh, like the ones superheroes use?" Leo asked.

"Er, yeah, something like that," El Toro said.

"Which sort of fits us because we're masked heroes fighting injustice and all," Lobo said.

"With capes and scarves!" Rosa said, twirling to show off her own.

"I guess that explains why Zoro is called Zoro even though he's a Meowth and not a Vulpix," Leo commented. "Though 'El Gato' would probably make more sense."

"Yes, but 'Zoro' is more traditional," Zoro said. "It's a family thing. And speaking of names…Gonzales, right?" Zoro asked Ash.

"Yeah, why?" Ash said.

"Funny, you don't look much like a Gonzales…" Zoro commented.

"We know a Gonzales back home," said Rosa. "He's a Pikachu."

"Uh, is that so?" Pikachu said, trying not to sound too interested.

El Toro nodded. "Yes, he's the fastest mouse in all of Ameroupe!"

"Which is why we call him 'Speedy,'" Lobo said.

"That makes sense," Sasha said.

The crowd started getting restless. "Hey, start the fight already! The audience didn't pay to watch you guys stand there jawing at each other! Haven't we had enough of that already?!" the MC shouted.

"Start the fight! Start the fight! Start the fight!" the audience chanted.

The eight Pokemon sighed in annoyance. "Some people just don't know how to be patient, huh?" Ash asked.

"Regrettable, but inevitable. So, how shall we do this, Senor Gonzales? There are four of you, and four of us. I think it would be fairest for us to go one-on-one against each other! But who shall be paired with whom?"

Pikachu drew his sword and stepped forward. "If you don't mind, sir Zoro, I would like to fight you. I have heard of your exploits, and am regarded as a rather good swordsmon myself back home. Let's see which of us is better!"

Zoro smirked and drew his own sword. "Aha, a fine challenge! I would be happy to battle you, Senor _Raton_. Let our blades seek the truth!"

"Sounds good to me! And don't call me a _Raton,_ I'm a Plusle," Pikachu said, crossing swords with Zoro.

"_Raton_ means mouse, dawg," Leo told him.

"Oh. Never mind, then," Pikachu said.

"Since I'm not gonna be fighting the team leader, then I guess I'll take…um…" Ash glanced at the remaining three fighters.

"Your opponent is me!" El Toro said, stepping forward. "I have heard of the vaunted strength of your species! I have trained long and hard to become the strongest Pokemon in the land! Let us fight to see which of us can be called truly strong!"

"Heh, works for me!" Ash said, cracking his knuckles.

"Allow me the pleasure of being your opponent, senorita," Lobo said coyly to Sasha. "I am loath to harm a beautiful womon such as yourself…but a fight's a fight, and if I must battle someone, I would rather it be you! Both to see your graceful fighting in action…and also to spare you from fighting my amigo Rosa. She…can fight rather dirty…" Rosa giggled but did not deny this.

Sasha tilted her head. "Your concern for my wellbeing is noted but unnecessary, as is your rather blatant flirting. But if you wish to fight me, then I suppose I cannot turn you down…especially since you would keep pestering me anyway until I gave in. I know your type well."

"_How_ well?" Lobo asked, a sly grin on his face.

"Well enough," she said.

"Well, would you like to know me even-" Lobo started.

"No," said Sasha.

Lobo frowned. "But-"

"No," she repeated.

"I was just-"

"NO."

He didn't take the hint. "Playing hard to get, huh? I like your style, _chica._"

"…I'm mated," she said flatly.

His ears fell. "Oh." There was a pause. Then he started grinning again. "Well…he's not here, is he?" Her eye twitched.

"I guess that just leaves you and me, babe," Leo told Rosa.

The Roserade smiled sweetly. "You're pretty young, so I'll go easy on you. Don't worry, I won't hurt you _too_ badly."

Leo sweatdropped nervously. "Uh, thanks?"

"If we're all done being dramatic and pairing off, can we just fight already?" asked the rather annoyed MC. The fighters rolled their eyes but nodded. "Okay then! Begin on 3…THREE! GO!"

The fight began.

El Toro started off by mooing loudly and charging Ash, lowering his head so that he could gore the Lucario on his horns. Rather than dodging—which he could easily do—Ash instead stood his ground, tensing his leg muscles and holding his forepaws out. Just before El Toro could collide with him, he thrust his arms forward and grabbed the Tauros by the horns, pushing against the ground with his feet at the same time. El Toro's strength and momentum forced Ash backward, the Lucario's heels digging deep ruts in the ground as he tried to keep from getting bowled over…or his ankles from snapping. Ash refused to give, though. As El Toro pushed, Ash pushed back, and kept pushing until the Tauros's progress slowed and finally came to a stop and Ash was buried almost to his knees in the ground. El Toro snorted and struggled, but try as he might, he couldn't budge Ash an inch. The audience was so astonished by this that they were stunned speechless. "How…how are you-" the incredulous El Toro stammered.

Ash grinned, trying not to scream at how much his legs hurt. "I'm just that good." With a grunt, he tugged upward on El Toro's horns, using all his upper body strength to _lift the Tauros over his head _and hurl him over his shoulder. He landed on the ground behind him with a powerful crash.

"Wow!" said the amazed MC.

"Uhh…you…really are strong…" said the impressed El Toro as he regained his foot—er, hoofing. "No one has ever done that to me before!"

_And I won't be doing that again anytime soon, either,_ Ash thought, gritting his teeth as every muscle in his arms shrieked at him. "Care for a repeat?" he asked out loud, gingerly stepping out of the ruts his feet had made and trying not to wince with each shock of pain that ran through his knees and ankles.

"Actually, I would," El Toro said, hoofing at the ground with…a hoof. "Let's see you do that a second time!" He charged at Ash.

_Crap_, Ash thought, pretty sure he wouldn't be able to repeat his trick a second time.

"It looks like Gonzales will be playing matador, folks! He grabbed the bull by the horns once, but will he be able to do it again without being gored?" the MC asked. Ash certainly hoped he could.

Sasha and Lobo Fuerte circled each other, hackles raised and muscles tense as they kept a close eye on their opponent, each waiting for the other to make the first move. "A fine _perra_ like yourself should not have to muss up her flawless fur in senseless violence such as this, senorita," Lobo crooned to Sasha. "How about we adjourn from this match and go off to do a _different _kind of fighting…together?"

"Do those pickup lines actually work on anyone?" Sasha asked, utterly unimpressed.

"You'd be surprised," Lobo said.

"Surprised that they work or at how little they _don't?_" Sasha riposted.

He winced. "Ouch! You have a harsh tongue, _perra._ There is no need for you to be so cruel to a humble _hidalgo_ like myself."

"I have no idea what that is, so it means nothing to me," Sasha said flatly.

Lobo grinned flirtatiously. "Would you like to find out?"

"Not really, no," Sasha said, bored. "Didn't I already tell you I was mated?"

"Yes, but he's not here, now is he?" Lobo pointed out. "And besides, who knows what sorts of shenanigans he's getting up to while the _esposa_ is out of the house?"

"He wouldn't," Sasha said.

"Lots of wives say that about their husbands," Lobo said.

"No, I mean he actually wouldn't, he knows that I would chew off his genitals if I found him cheating on me," Sasha said.

Lobo blanched. That had not been the answer he was expecting. "Ah," he said. "Well…that doesn't mean _you_ can't have a little fun in his absence, now, does it?"

"I could," Sasha admitted. "But I hold no truck with hypocrisy, and I'm pretty sure it would set a bad example for my grandchildren."

"A grandmother? At such a young age?!" Lobo asked, startled.

Sasha raised an eyebrow. "Young? I'm in my seventies."

Lobo started, nearly falling over. "Wh-what?! Y-y-you are…um…I mean…not that that's a _bad_ thing…" He coughed, some of his self-confidence draining away. "Well, er, you're, ah, remarkably well-preserved for…uh, I mean, you look very good for a womon of your age! I mean, my grandmother is not nearly as _atractivo _as you!"

"…You're not the slightest bit turned off?" asked the rather disturbed Sasha.

Lobo shrugged. "I'm not into older womon, but for you, I would make an exception!"

"I'm so thrilled," she said deadpan. "And sorry to say that your affection is not returned, especially since I have no interest in pups who are barely a quarter my age."

Lobo flushed as some of the audience laughed. "I—y-you! No womon turns down Lobo Fuerte!" Fueled more by embarrassment and wounded pride than actual desire, he threw the yellow hearts of an Attract move at Sasha. This would turn out to be the worst decision in his life.

Before we see _why_ this was such a bad idea, there is something about Lobo Fuerte that needs to be made clear. Contrary to the somewhat childish behavior he was just exhibiting, he was not a bad Pokemon. If he had two flaws, it was his pride and his natural charm and affection for womon. He was, much like The Brock, the kind of Pokemon we'd term a 'lovable perv,' except that he actually scored with the ladies, whereas The Brock did not. He had not been boasting when he told Sasha that most of the womon back home liked him quite a bit, and while someone who slept with an already mated Pokemon was generally frowned upon where Sasha came from, it carried no great stigma in Lobo's homeland. In fact, it was pretty much expected for Pokemon in serious relationships to occasionally indulge in other lovers on the side while still remaining generally warm and loving to each other. Additionally, Lobo usually did not continue pursuing a female when she had already made it clear (repeatedly) that she wasn't interested, he generally knew well enough to take no for an answer and go after someone else if a womon just wasn't that into him. The reason, therefore, he was perhaps going a little overboard in his attempts to seduce Sasha rather than just leaving her alone was twofold. First off, while he generally left womon who said 'no' be, it happened so rarely to him that he sometimes had a little trouble telling when they meant it and when they were playing with him. Additionally, he was on public television, being watched by people all over the world, and to be humiliated and rebuffed repeatedly in such a manner before the eyes of millions was an embarrassment that aggravated his perhaps overlarge pride and made him frustrated enough to try something he would later regret, namely, forcing Sasha to be attracted to him using Attract.

The chief reason he would regret this, other than the fact that it usually wasn't his style to _make_ the ladies love him, was that the Attract had no effect on Sasha whatsoever. The hearts burst on impact with the Absol and did nothing other than make her extremely angry. Lobo's face paled. "Wh-what?! How…"

"A relationship that's lasted several decades is not easily destroyed by cheap infatuation and hormonal surges," Sasha said, a low growl in her voice. "The fact that you even tried, using methods like that in spite of my repeated refusals, indicates to me you are not the kind of Pokemon who should ever be allowed to use such a move on anyone. Therefore, I will make sure you can never use it again."

Lobo paled. "C-can you actually do that?!"

Sasha bared her fangs in a terrifying smile. "I intend to try." She lunged. Lobo screamed.

"Whuh-oh! Looks like Lobo Fuerte's in some serious trouble, folks! Men, take notes, that is _not_ how you should treat a womon!" The males in the audience gulped, agreeing wholeheartedly…especially when their significant others were glaring at them.

"Stand still, ho! How'm I supposed to hit you?!" Leo growled as he spat another Ice Beam at Rosa.

The Roserade giggled and pirouetted out of the way of the Beam, causing it to freeze another patch of the ground solid. At this point most of the floor around Leo had been turned to ice. "You're not, silly _Tortuga!_" She hopped on the ice and started expertly skating on it, dancing in circles around Leo. "Try all you like, you cannot catch me! Especially if you cannot move!" Orange mist trailed from her bouquets, growing into a larger and larger cloud that threatened to engulf Leo as she spun in rings around him.

"Psh, that all you got, babe?" Leo spat his Water Gun in a circle, drenching the Stun Spores in water and causing them to fall to the ground. Rosa, again demonstrating astonishing agility, avoided the spray of water, spinning about so that droplets of moisture danced all around her and caught the lights shining down on the arena so that they sparkled like diamonds. "Whoa…"

"You like? I am as skilled a dancer as I am a battler," Rosa informed him as she gracefully landed on one foot. "Observe!" She started twirling again, glowing pink petals flying off her green form as she used Petal Dance. The petals swirled out from her body and started spiraling around Leo, closing in on him.

"Oh no, you ain't getting me that easily, ho!" Leo shouted, using Dig to burrow into the ground just before the petals could converge on him.

"Running away? Not the behavior one would expect from a _brave_ warrior like I thought you were," Rosa purred. "I guess I'll have to do something about that, won't I?" Her bouquets glowed white, and she fired beams of light into the air. They converged to create a big, brilliant energy ball. Her sensitive feet detecting movement in the earth under her, she jumped away just before Leo burst out in a failed attempt to attack her.

"Damn, bitch, you're hella fast!" Leo paused. "Hey, wait, isn't that Sunny Day?"

"Yep," Rosa said as she raised her arms over her head and used Weather Ball. Due to the effect of Sunny Day, the Ball took on a Fire-type attribute, transforming into a rather large yellow-orange sphere of fire. She hopped off the ground and hurled the orb at Leo.

"Ha! I'm a Water-type, that ain't gonna work on me!" Leo boasted, spitting a Water Gun at the oncoming Weather Ball…only to look on in horror as his waterspout turned to a trickle and was reduced to steam. "Wh-what?!" It was only then he recalled that Sunny Day lowered the power of Water-types by at least fifty percent. "Aw crap-"

The ball struck him and exploded, engulfing him in flames. He screamed as the fire burned at his shell and exposed skin. "Dammit, haven't I gotten blown up enough times already?! It really hurts, you know!" he wailed.

"It's going to hurt worse, Senor _Tortuga_," Rosa commented as she raised one of her hands, collecting solar energy from the Sunny Day orb above her. Then she put her flowers together and fired a Solarbeam at Leo. "The sun is shining on you today!"

"Good thing I have sunglasses!" Leo quipped, Digging back underground before he could get hit by the Solarbeam. The beam struck the ground where he had just been standing and exploded, destroying the entrance to the tunnel he'd just made. That didn't matter to him, though, as he popped up out of the ground behind her and fired an Ice Beam. Rosa simply smiled and bent over backwards so that the Ice Beam passed right over her, cooling off her chest and causing frost to form on a few of her petals. Snapping back upright as the Beam's duration ended, she fired glowing Magical Leaves from her bouquets at Leo. Leo fired another Ice Beam, freezing the leaves solid, then spat Bubblebeams that caused them to shatter harmlessly. "Ha! That's gonna be you soon!"

Rosa raised an eyebrow, mildly impressed. "Hmm, not bad, Senor _Tortuga_. You have lasted longer than I would have expected. Allow me to show you my appreciation…" She blew a kiss at Leo.

The kiss turned into a large yellow heart that floated into his face and burst, dousing him with the power of Attract. His eyes turned into hearts, and he started drooling. "Guhhh…you're pretty…"

"Yes, I know," Rosa said sweetly, sauntering over to him. "Now, Senor _Tortuga_, what say we have a little…fun?"

"I like fun," Leo said brainlessly. "And you. You're sexy."

Rosa giggled as thorny vines emerged from her bouquets. "Why thank you! I think you and I are going to have a very, _very_ good time together…" She cracked the vine like a whip, causing Leo's body to instinctively stiffen to attention…in more ways than one.

He was not the only one. "Oho! It looks like not _all_ the Fighting Four are immune to Attract! I don't know whether to pity King K…or to envy him." The majority of the male audience envied him, naturally. The females weren't happy about this.

Meanwhile, Pikachu and Zoro were having an epic swordfight. Metal rang as their swords clashed together again and again, the duo of cat and mouse dancing back and forth across the floor in a skilled display of bladecraft. They thrusted, parried, riposted, feinted, and did all the other fancy moves I don't know the names for, neither Pokemon able to overwhelm the other. It seemed as if they were truly warriors of equal skill. As if it had been choreographed ahead of time, they both swung their swords at the same moment, locking the blades together with a tremendous clang. Gritting their teeth, Pikachu and Zoro pressed forward with all their might, each trying to break the lock in their favor and knock the other off guard so they could inflict a decisive blow. "You…are not bad," Zoro admitted, rather impressed. "It has been…a long time since last I fought someone as good as myself with a sword!"

"Same…here. A shame we have to fight…each other," Pikachu grunted.

"Si, in another situation…I think we would be great friends. Perhaps…we will, by chance, battle together on the same…side, one day?" Zoro suggested.

"I'd…like that," Pikachu said, face screwed up with concentration. "Of course, we have to…win this match first!"

"Si," said Zoro. "No hard feelings for…my defeating you, I hope?"

Pikachu laughed. "Ha! Clearly you're delusional, since…it's _I_ who will be beating…_you_!"

"Oh?" Zoro asked, sounding amused. "What makes you…say that?"

Pikachu smirked. "Two things you seem to have…forgotten. One is that I'm an Electric-type. The other…" A wicked grin formed on his face. "Is that sword metal is a very conductive material." Zoro's eyes widened in surprise, but he was not able to withdraw his blade from Pikachu's before the faux Plusle discharged a powerful Thunderbolt through their locked swords, electrifying Zoro and causing him to howl…

In laughter? "Hahahaha…a good try, Senor _Raton!_ But there is one thing that _you_ have failed to consider!"

"And what's that?" Pikachu asked, shocked (no pun intended) that his attack did not appear to be severely affecting Zoro.

"That you might not be the only one with power over thunder!" With that, much to Pikachu's astonishment, Zoro released a Thunderbolt of his own, surging up his sword to clash with Pikachu's. The collision of opposing electrical blasts triggered an explosion that broke their blade block and pushed both fighters several feet back from each other.

_Incredible…_ an astonished Pikachu thought to himself as he caught his breath. _He's just like me! Only feline. And with a nice hat, cape, and mask. And a different kind of sword. And a funny accent._ He brandished his sword, ready to renew their struggle.

_Increíble ... él es como un espejo de mí mismo ... sólo un ratón. Y amarillo. Con una espada y ningún estilo. Y un gracioso acento_, Zoro thought. (Incredible...he is like a mirror of myself...only a mouse. And yellow. With a different sword and no discernible style. And a funny accent. (What, you thought he'd think in English?)) He raised his blade, ready to continue the fight.

With a great cry, they both dashed towards each other, swords raised for combat. Using Electric power to charge their blades, they clashed weapons again and again, sparks and flashes of light flying with every collision of electrified metal. Their swords were glowing so brightly from the power coursing through them one could easily mistake them as lightsabers or something. Leo probably would have mentioned it, if he weren't too busy being seduced. Falling back from a rather strong offensive from Pikachu, Zoro ripped off his cape and flung it before him, surprising his opponent. The Meowth immediately thrust his sword forward repeatedly, piercing the cape several dozen times in an attempt to deal multiple blows to his opponent. The multiple hits finally tore the cape to shreds, revealing…

That Pikachu was not there. Zoro blinked in surprise, and just managed to catch the movement of Pikachu thrusting his blade at him from the side at the last second. He was at once both startled and impressed. Nobody had ever managed to evade his 'Rain Storm' technique before! Before Pikachu's sword could pierce his side, Zoro jumped into the air and landed on his blade. Now, this would have been a pretty impressive feat on its own, except that Zoro hadn't landed on the flat of the sword like most would have expected, but on its _edge. _Everyone gasped in amazement. Pikachu's eyes widened in disbelief. Zoro smirked and then, rather than thrust his sword at the mouse's eyes (which would be a fatal, and therefore illegal, move), jumped into the air, flipped over, and swung a glowing Iron Tail down at Pikachu's skull.

Pikachu ducked, drove his sword into the ground, and flipped onto his forepaws to stick his rear into the air, bringing up his own Iron Tail to deflect Zoro's blow. The collision of tails knocked Zoro away and sent him tumbling towards the ground in front of Pikachu. Naturally, he landed on his feet just in time for the mouse to extricate his sword from the ground and slash it through the air, sending a Vacuum-Cut at the cat. Zoro mimicked the move to send out a Vacuum-Cut of his own, the two blades exploding in midair.

As the smoke cleared, Pikachu charged electricity into his sword and thrust it into the ground, sending a high-voltage shockwave snaking across the floor towards Zoro, smashing apart everything in its path. Zoro again mimicked Pikachu, driving his sword into the ground so that it would serve as a lightning rod and draw the electricity to it. He then gripped the hilt of the sword as the shockwave surged into it, allowed the power to flow into his body, and fired it back at Pikachu with a Thunderbolt. Pikachu ground his teeth as the bolt struck him, flowed into his sword, down into the ground, into Zoro's sword, into Zoro, and back through the air towards him to repeat the whole cycle. The two swordsmon found themselves trapped in an electrical circuit, the energy flowing between them growing higher and higher to potentially lethal levels. They both quickly realized that if one of them didn't do something quickly, they could be killed, along with most of the people in the arena.

So how did they deal with it? By removing their swords at the same time and pointing them at each other, causing the built-up electricity within their bodies and blades to blast into itself and explode spectacularly. The audience, having no idea how close to death they could have just been (since the electrical surge would have overloaded the force fields protecting them), cheered at the show. The swordsmon panted and stood down, taking a moment to catch their breaths. "That…was a little intense," Zoro said.

Pikachu nodded. "You're…pretty good with electricity…for a Normal-type."

"I've practiced," Zoro explained. "And you aren't…half bad yourself. It has been a very long time…since I have fought someone as skilled with a blade as you. Although…" He frowned. "The way you wield it …gives off the impression that you are unused to it."

"It's not my usual sword," Pikachu admitted.

"Oh?" Zoro asked, raising an eyebrow.

Pikachu nodded. "Yeah, I left my _real_ sword back home because I thought using it in the tournament would be unfair to my opponents. I'd beat them way too easily!"

Zoro burst into laughter. "I like you, Senor Plus! We must meet again some time, outside this arena. I can feel a strong sense of justice inside of you…I would love to battle by your side against any evildoer who seeks to harm the innocent!"

"As would I," Pikachu agreed. "But we have to finish this fight before that can happen."

"Si," Zoro agreed.

"Just one thing before we continue," Pikachu said.

"Oh?" Zoro asked.

"How about from now on, we hold off on the Electric attacks? Wouldn't want to cause any collateral damage, would we?" Pikachu said.

Zoro smirked. "But then we would be denying the crowd the pleasure of seeing two great swordsmon fighting with every last kilowatt of their power!"

"I'm sure they'll manage somehow," Pikachu said with a straight face.

Zoro laughed. "Very well then, _mi amigo!_ No more electric attacks…even without them, this will still be a fight to remember, si?"

"Oh, most definitely," Pikachu agreed. Fully rested, they charged towards each other again, screaming battle cries as the crowd looked on in wonder.

"Wow! This is so cool! Two expert swordsman going blade-to-blade! I haven't seen anything like it in years!" the MC gushed. "Now if only they'd stop pausing every now and then to _talk_ for a few minutes…geez."

"Raaaaahhhh!" El Toro roared, leaping into the air and smashing back down to the ground with an Earthquake, shaking the room and tearing up the ground. Ash nimbly jumped from erupting promontory to jutting stone as he closed in on the bull, charging an Aura Sphere in his paws. When it reached full power, he flung it at the Tauros. El Toro snorted and tossed his head, catching the Sphere on his horns and flinging it over his back, so it exploded behind him. He snorted, hoofed the ground, and then charged forward with a bellow at Ash.

"Is that really the only strategy you can come up with?!" Ash asked, somewhat exasperated. Rushing forward blindly seemed to be the extent of El Toro's tactics.

"I am a Tauros! It is what we do!" El Toro responded.

"Good point," Ash admitted. He deftly sidestepped the bull's charge. "Only problem is…it leaves you pretty wide open!" He dug his feet into the ground and grabbed El Toro by the tails before the bull could go too far, causing the startled Tauros's eyes to bulge from their sockets. Using the momentum of the Wild Bull's charge, Ash spun around, dragging the two-hundred pound stud behind him, and hurled him as far as he could.

Unfortunately, El Toro used this to his advantage, slamming all his formidable bulk into the ground as he crashed down from Ash's throw and cracked the floor open, sending a glowing white Fissure snaking across the ground towards the Lucario, splitting the stage in half as it went. Ash jumped to the side to avoid the Fissure, but the energy and rocks thrown off by the zigzagging crack hit him in the side and knocked him to the ground, putting him right in the path of El Toro's next stampede. His eyes widened in alarm as the bull loomed over him, bringing one of his hooves down towards the Lucario's face.

Ash thrust one of his arms out at the last moment, catching the hoof in his paw before it could smash into his nose. Startled El Toro flung out with his other hoof, but Ash caught that in his other paw, trapping the bull in place. He then kicked his feet into El Toro's stomach and released a surge of Aura from his legs, blasting the bull off of him and causing him to topple over on his side. As El Toro struggled to get back on his hooves, Ash flipped up, ran over, placed his hand over the bull's face, and hit him with a Force Palm at point-blank range.

The crowd gasped as an explosion of blue fire engulfed them both, and watched anxiously to see if the fighters had survived the blast. When the smoke cleared, both Ash and El Toro were still standing. In fact, other than the fact that El Toro's mask had been ripped to shreds and his face seemed a little burnt, it barely looked as if he had taken any damage at all! "No way…" Ash whispered, amazed at the bull's resilience.

El Toro snorted. "A nice try, senor Lucario, but it will take more than that to beat the mighty…wait…something doesn't feel right…why does my face feel…" He gasped in horror. "No! My mask! You destroyed my mask!"

"I was sort of aiming more to knock you out," Ash said.

"My mask! My mask! How could you?! Do you have any idea what you've just done?!" El Toro wailed.

"…Uh…I destroyed your mask?" Ash said, rather confused.

El Toro started laughing insanely. "You have no idea, do you?! I am a luchador! A masked fighter! To destroy my mask and expose my face in public is an unspeakable and disreputable act! You have shamed me beyond compare…and what's worse, all my enemies, who are certainly watching this match, will know what I look like, so now my civilian identity and family are in horrible danger! You've ruined my life!"

"I-I'm sorry," Ash stammered, horrified. "I didn't mean-"

"You may not have meant to, but you did anyway!" El Toro snapped. "I hope you will suffer for this, as I too shall soon suffer!" Sobbing, he trampled out of the arena.

The crowd, furious with Ash, booed him and threw popcorn and soda bottles. One of them hit his head and sprayed brown liquid all over his fur. "Ugh…"

"Unbelievable! What a low blow, folks! I thought Gonzales was a better mon than that, but apparently not! If we were in the luchador wrestling circuit, he'd be disqualified for sure…but this isn't, so instead we're just going to insult him and call him names," the MC said. Ash's heart sank, feeling like crap. He hadn't _meant_ for things to go like this…he'd just ruined a guy's mask! How was he supposed to know it was a big deal?!

Meanwhile, Sasha had just finished delivering a severe beating to Lobo Fuerte. "Have we reached an understanding?" she asked him ominously.

The cowed and terrified Lobo nodded frantically. "Yes! Yes! I promise that from now on I will try to curb my sexual urges and always treat womon with the respect they deserve!"

"And?" Sasha asked.

"And if a womon says no, she usually means no, and I should leave it at that rather than trying to force myself on her or change her mind," Lobo whimpered. "And if a womon is already in a relationship, she is off-limits, even if it's culturally acceptable for me to sleep with her anyway. Please don't hurt me anymore."

"You're lucky I didn't neuter you. Go," Sasha said with a dismissive flick of her head. Lobo gladly ran off, tail between his legs. He hadn't gotten a talking-to _that _bad since the last time he'd visited his mother!

"And that…was a rather terrifying display of female fury from Sasha. Reminds me of the last time I was at my mother-in-law's…" The MC, and several of the married mons in the audience, shuddered. The females either rolled their eyes or cheered Sasha for being a strong, independent, dominant female role model.

Sasha trotted over to Ash, who was wiping the soda off of himself and only staining his fur worse. "I see you defeated your opponent," she said.

"Yeah…" Ash said unhappily. "You too, huh?"

"Yes," Sasha said. "Perhaps we should join the others?"

Ash glanced at Pikachu and Zoro, who were currently engaged in a swordfight so epic that just staring at them dash back and forth while clashing their blades made his head hurt. "Plus can handle himself. Let's see how King K is doing."

Not well, as it turned out. "Have you been a naughty _tortuga?_" Rosa cooed, wiggling her hips sensually.

"Baby, I'm b-b-b-baaaaad to the booooone," Leo said, thrusting his pelvis while trying (and failing) to sound sexy.

Rosa giggled. "Good! Because as we all know, _bad_ Pokemon need to be punished."

"Oh yeah!" Leo said, eyes still hearts. "I'll take my spanking now, ho!"

She smiled coquettishly. "You should know that is no way to talk to a beautiful senorita. And this is what you get for it." She lashed out with her thorny whip, striking him hard on the shell and knocking him over.

He quickly got back up, a crooked smile on his face. "Then I'd better talk even worse. Bimbo! Slut! Hooker! Woman of questionable morals!"

Rosa laughed. "Oh, senor _tortuga_, you have such a foul mouth! And _other_ parts…" She whipped him several more times, each blow strong enough to gash Leo's shell or draw blood, if it didn't knock him down altogether. He took the hits with a smile and got back up for more. And whenever he cried out, it was less in pain and more in…something else.

The crowd watched the one-sided fight intently. "Uh…wow…I'm not entirely sure this is legal, folks, but…I can't bring myself to take my eyes away…" the MC said slowly.

Ash and Sasha stared blankly. "Um…what exactly are they doing?" Ash asked after a moment, rather thoroughly disturbed. "King K isn't fighting and it looks like he's…_enjoying_ it."

"More! More!" Leo cried as Rosa jabbed Poison Sting needles into his skin.

"Okay," said Rosa, sticking a needle into a rather…hard-to-reach place. Leo squealed.

"Some Pokemon find it sexually arousing to be beaten up or tortured by attractive Pokemon, or to do it to others," Sasha said dubiously. "I had not thought King K to be one of those Pokemon."

"Neither did I," said a thoroughly repulsed Ash. This had _not_ been something he had ever wanted to know about Leo, and he wished he could forget it. "Should we, uh, help him?"

Rosa bitch-slapped Leo repeatedly, very hard. The poison from her flowers (and from getting all those needles shoved into him) was turning his cheeks purple and making him giggle rather giddily. "The venom flowing through my body is making all my sensitive parts tingle!" he blurted.

"Shall I make your other parts tingle?" the Roserade flirted.

"Yes! Yes!" Leo cried.

"He…seems to be having a good time," Sasha said uncertainly. "He might get angry if we, ah, rescued him."

"But doesn't this count as rape?" Ash asked. "He's clearly been affected by Attract. Plus, isn't he a bit…_young_ to be treated this way?"

"Well, he _is_ sexually mature," Sasha pointed out. "And the age at which you can be considered 'too young' is really more of a cultural thing. He isn't much younger than you are, and my first time was when I was only-"

"TOO MUCH INFORMATION! TOO MUCH INFORMATION!" Ash shouted, putting his paws over his ears.

"Yay! Tentacle hentai!" Leo said dazedly as Rosa unleashed Giga Drain energy tendrils that sapped vitality from his body. "And I thought this only happened to schoolgirls in manga and anime. And some video games."

"Nope," Rosa said, sighing huskily as she took Leo into herself. Yes, I am well aware that that can be taken another way.

"While he _is_ sort of hypnotized…I don't think it counts as rape if it's willing and enjoyed by both parties," Sasha said.

"Then is it rape because he's under the influence of Attract or not because he seems to be enjoying it as much as she is?" Ash asked.

"Well, it might not be anything since so far it seems like they're just doing foreplay rather than anything _really_ intimate," Sasha said.

Ash grimaced. "I can only imagine how much of this they're going to censor for audiences seeing this on television…at least, I _hope_ they censor this, since my little brother and kids are going to be watching…"

Rosa kissed Leo passionately on the lips, which both felt really good and had the side effect of numbing his mouth with poison. If Leo had been in another state of mind, he would have realized this was probably how superheroes with weaker willpower than Gligarman felt whenever they were seduced by Poison Ivysaur, but at the moment most of his brain was in his nether regions so this did not occur to him. After fifty-five seconds or so, Rosa broke contact with his mouth, causing Leo to gasp for breath and suck on his inhaler for a few minutes, which was a bit hard due to him lacking feeling in his lips or fingers, so he kept dropping it. Rosa licked her own lips and gave him an appraising look. "Mmm, that was fun. I sense the makings of a great lover in you, senor _tortuga_. Whatever womon you chose to be your mate someday will be a very lucky senora."

"Thanks," Leo said, only registering half of what she was saying—if that—due to all the hormones and other neurotransmitters surging through his body.

"I'm going to knock you out of the fight now," Rosa said.

"Kay," Leo said, not too bothered by this.

"Nighty-night," she said, gently kissing him on the forehead, leaving a purple imprint behind. Then she hit him on the chin with a Poison Jab uppercut, flinging him into the air and out of the arena, crashing down next to the bench where Tiny was sitting.

"That was awesome…and totally worth losing," Leo said in a daze as the Attract started wearing off. "Though I'm not entirely sure if I'm still a virgin or not…" Tiny rolled his eyes and bopped Leo on the head with one of his pompoms. "Don't scoff kiddo, one day you too will understand the allure of the ladies." The Larvitar gave him a skeptical look and sucked on his pacifier. "You do realize there's an innuendo-ish way of looking at what you're doing, right?" Tiny stared at him blankly. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

"And the temptress Rosa claims yet another victim!" the MC said. "I guess it's true what they say, that every Roserade has her thorns…but I certainly wouldn't mind getting pricked by _these_ thorns, if you know what I mean!"

Rosa yawned and stretched while the crowd cheered and Meowthcalled and Mightyena-whistled. "Ahhh, that was fun…hmm? You were watching?" she asked, noticing Ash and Sasha standing nearby. "And did nothing to help your amigo? Oho, did it turn you on?"

"Wh-what?! No, I, it, um, er, ah, you see, there's, uh, well, eh, this-" Ash stammered incoherently, his face turning bright red. Sasha rolled her eyes.

Rosa grinned slyly. "It sounds like you were enjoying yourself! How would you like to be my next _juguete?_ I always have energy for more."

"He's taken," Sasha said before Ash could open his mouth and make even more of a fool out of himself.

"No I'm not!" Ash said, doing it anyway. Sasha glared at him in exasperation.

"You are a very handsome creature. I think this will be a lot of fun for both of us," Sasha said, blowing a kiss at Ash. The kiss turned into a large yellow heart which flew towards him, burst on impact, and…

Did absolutely nothing. Ash blinked. "Uh, was that supposed to do something?"

Rosa frowned, puzzled. "Que?" She blew another kiss. And another. And another. And another still. All of them popped against Ash's skin and had no effect. She scratched her head. "That's not supposed to happen…why are you immune to my charm?"

"That's…a very good question," Ash said.

"Well, it's either because he has a love for another which is as strong as the love I have for my own mate-" Sasha started.

"I DO NOT!" Ash shouted, face turning red.

"Or he's just too dense to be seduced by anyone," the Absol finished.

"Yeah, let's go with that," Ash said quickly. He paused. "Wait, what?"  
Rosa tapped her chin. "Too dense? Hmm. How inconvenient." She shrugged. "Oh well, I'll just have to take you out the regular way, then." Her eyes glowed green, and suddenly vines shot out of the ground and wrapped around Ash and Sasha's feet in Grass Knots, binding them in place. Then she raised her flowers into the air and conjured another Sunny Day, the last one having faded away a while ago.

"She's going to use Solarbeam!" Ash realized. "We have to stop her!" He incinerated the vines around his feet with a burst of Aura and quickly ran towards the Roserade, who was gathering power from her artificial sun.

Sasha twisted her head down, cutting one of her paws free with the blade on the side of her skull and allowing her to use that claw to cut free her other forepaw. Knowing she wouldn't be able to break her hindpaws out in time, she quickly used Me First, firing a Solarbeam only seconds before Rosa could launch her own. Unfortunately, Rosa managed to flip out of the way of the beam while still charging up, and fired her own Solarbeam the instant she landed on the ground. Ash quickly intercepted the Solarbeam with a Flash Cannon, preventing the beam from advancing any further and striking Sasha, giving the Absol the opportunity to tear out the Grass Knots holding her hindpaws in place and run towards her teammate. "She can't move while she's firing her beam! Hit her from the side!" Ash said.

"Oh no you won't!" Rosa said, instantly stopping her Solarbeam and gracefully twirling away before she could get hit by the Flash Cannon, using Petal Dance to send numerous petals spiraling towards Ash. The Lucario obliterated them before they could touch him by causing his Aura to ignite around his body, destroying the fragile petals on impact. Sasha lunged towards Rosa, claws glowing with Night Slash, and tried to land a hit on the Roserade. Rosa was too agile, however, and jumped, spun, ducked, and curved out of the way of each of the Absol's swipes. Crouching underneath Sasha's latest swing, Rosa surged upwards towards the Disaster Pokemon's face with a Poison Jab.

She was not expecting Sasha's jaws to clamp down on her bouquet with Bite. "AAAHHH! LET GO OF ME, YOU perro estúpida!" she screamed in pain.

"No," Sasha muttered through the mouthful of flowers, her eyes glowing briefly.

"Night Slash, you realize you'll probably get poisoned from that, right?" Ash asked.

"Joy'll cure me. Besides, I've eaten worse. Hit her while I have her trapped!" Sasha grunted around the bouquet.

"Right!" Ash ran towards them.

"No you don't!" the frustrated Rosa shouted, pointing her free bouquet at Ash and firing Bullet Seeds at him. Ash formed a Bone Rush staff in his paws and twirled it before him, deflecting the seeds away. He wound back his arm and swung the staff forward as he reached the two female Pokemon, striking the startled Rosa hard enough to tear her out of Sasha's mouth and send her flying across the stage.

Sasha spat out several petals that had gotten caught in her teeth. "I think my tongue is purple. I'm having trouble feeling my mouth," she mumbled.

"I thought you said you'd eaten worse," Ash said.

"Not by much," Sasha replied.

Rosa grunted and staggered back to her feet, clutching the arm that had been stuck in Sasha's mouth in pain. "Ugh…¡No estamos a través todavía!" (Ugh…we are not through yet!) Yellow-orange energy covered her body, then a purple energy sphere formed around her and the yellow-orange energy swirled around that as she charged towards them with Giga Impact. Ash braced himself, positive this was going to hurt…

And was relieved when a big shimmering energy ball appeared out of nowhere and slammed into Rosa, smashing her out of her energy shell and flinging her from the ring. "Future Sight?" he asked Sasha.

The Absol nodded. "It seemed prudent to call for one, just in case."

"Uhhh…" Rosa tried to get back up, but passed out, her strength depleted. Many of the males in the audience cried in horror. Many of their wives and girlfriends hit them.

"Oh no! The beautiful and really sexy Rosa is no longer able to battle! The score is 3-1 in favor of the Fighting Four, and even if Zoro manages to defeat Plus he'll have a tough time beating both Gonzales _and_ Night Slash!" the MC announced.

"Is this guy even trying to be unbiased?" Ash grumbled.

"No," said Sasha.

"That was a rhetorical question," said Ash.

"Ah," she said.

"Woohoo! Nice going, guys!" Leo cheered from the sidelines while Tiny waved his pompoms silently. "You sure showed that bitch whose boss! Too bad, though…she was really hot, and actually pretty nice too, even though she was basically seducing and beating the crap out of me. But that's just her fighting style; I don't hold it against her. Yo." Tiny rolled his eyes.

Ash and Sasha ran over to assist Pikachu, who was still fighting Zoro. "Plus, we're here to help!" Ash called to his brother.

"Stay back!" Pikachu cried as he blocked another swift strike from the masked Meowth. "This is my fight!"

"Si, it is a match between master swordsmon! Do not interfere!" Zoro agreed.

"Uh, okay," Ash said, backing down. Sasha frowned at him. "What? He said we shouldn't do anything. And besides, we already beat three guys on our own, it's only fair for him to take out the last one."

"I suppose," Sasha admitted.

Pikachu and Zoro clashed swords a few more times, sparks flying with each deflected strike and the ring of metal upon metal echoing throughout the arena. Try as they might, however, neither swordsmon was able to overcome the other. Tiring of their deadlock, they both hopped away from each other, taking a moment to catch their breath and gather all their remaining power for one final attack. Their eyes locked, and both cat and mouse knew at once that this next move could very well end the match. With a great cry, they dashed towards each other, leaning forward, hands on their weapons. There was a flash of light and the sound of steel against steel as they moved past each other, and then Pikachu and Zoro were standing opposite where they had started, backs to each other and swords out. There was a beat. And then…

Zoro grunted and fell to one knee, a piece of his hat tearing off and drifting to the ground. Pikachu smiled…and suddenly, his sword shattered. He gawked at it in disbelief, and then noticed he was bleeding from several large cuts all over his body. He collapsed.

Everyone gasped. "No!" Ash cried.

"He…lost?!" an equally astounded Sasha whispered.

"No…it was not supposed to be like this," said Zoro, as alarmed as everyone else.

"No way! Pika-er, Plus lost?! Dude, pinch me, I must be dreaming or something!" Leo cried. Tiny stared at him. "You're supposed to pinch me now, brah," Leo told him. Tiny stared at him. Leo rolled his eyes. "Fine, I'll do it." He pinched himself. "Ow! Nope, Pikachu's still lost. Dang. This is a big surprise. And that's the second sword he's lost this week too, yo! Those things aren't easy to replace!" He sighed. "And we're probably gonna need to use that money Ford gave us to get a new one…welp, there goes that new body I was gonna buy for my dad…" Tiny sucked on his pacifier but said nothing.

"It would seem that, after one of the greatest—and longest—swordfights this announcer has ever witnessed, ladies and gents, Zoro is the winner! As if there's any real surprise. Sorry Plus, you tried your best, but…wait! What's this?!" the MC cried. "Plus is getting back up! He's not ready to be counted out yet, folks! He's still in this thing!"

"That…uh…that was a pretty good hit you got in," Pikachu coughed, wiping blood from his lips. "But…ugh…I'm not…I'm not through yet…come on! We have to finish this!"

"_Increíble_…you have lost your sword, you can barely stand, and yet you still demand we continue our battle?" the amazed Zoro asked.

"A swordsmon is not defined by the strength of his blade, but by the power of his heart," Pikachu said, regaining some of his strength. "Even without a sword…I still have my heart, so I can still fight, and I will keep fighting so as long as there is breath in my body! I don't know if I can win…but no matter how many times you knock me to the ground or cut me down, I'll keep getting back up until there's nothing left of me!"

"Whoa…" Ash whispered. "He's really into this, isn't he?"

"This is one of the greatest battles he has ever had…if it were you in his place, wouldn't you want to keep fighting, no matter how injured you were?" Sasha asked. Ash nodded.

Zoro stared at Pikachu incredulously for a moment. Then he laughed softly. "Mi amigo...I was right about you. You are a true swordsmon…a warrior whose _alma_ burns with justice, just like my own. You are correct! This fight is not over yet! But before we continue…" He flung his sword away.

The crowd gasped. "Wh-what's this?! Zoro is discarding his sword?!" the MC cried.

"What are you doing?!" Pikachu asked.

"Before, you were not fighting at your best. You told me yourself that that sword you held was not your usual blade!" Zoro said. "Whereas mine is the one I always use, no matter what the fight. It was unfair of me to use it against such a substandard weapon as the one you had, one that you were unused to, and it would be even more unfair for me to use my trusty sword against an opponent with no blade at all! By discarding my sword, the two of us can fight on equal terms…and determine once and for all which of us is the greatest in the land!" His claws shot out of his paws. "En garde!"

Pikachu blinked in surprise, then smirked and got into a combat pose. "Well, if you insist…let's do this!"

"Uh…well, this is unexpected…I guess the two swordfighters will continue their fight…without swords! What a twist, huh?" the MC said.

"They're still going to fight? But Plus can barely stand!" Ash said, amazed by his brother's determination. Usually _he_ was the one who'd refuse to stop fighting even if he was bleeding from every orifice and at least one of his limbs was broken.

"Which is when he's at his most dangerous, brah!" Leo shouted.

"This should be interesting," Sasha said.

Zoro began the second round of his and Pikachu's duel, leaping into the air and drawing back his claws for a Slash attack. Pikachu dodged to the side and retaliated with a Thunderbolt. Surprised, Zoro shot a Thunderbolt back. The bolts collided in midair and exploded. "Didn't we agree not to use anymore Electric attacks?" he cried.

"That was when we were using our swords! It's a whole new game now!" Pikachu replied, pouring as much power as he could into his next attack, a blast of Thunder. Zoro defended himself with another Thunderbolt, causing the two electric blasts to combine into a pillar of thunder that shot to the ceiling and exploded. "Then again, it doesn't seem to be having much of an effect…" he admitted.

"Shall we try something more close-range, then?" Zoro suggested.

"Sounds good to me!" Pikachu dashed towards him on all fours with Quick Attack.

"Ha! Not fast enough!" Zoro taunted, using Double Team to make it look as if there were five dashing masked Meowths rather than just one. Pikachu missed the true Zoro and charged right through one of the illusions, turning around in time to see his foe jump in the air and swing an Iron Tail down at him. Pikachu growled and jumped to intercept him, swinging his own Iron Tail and causing the two appendages to clash together, the force of the collision knocking both of them away.

Pikachu used another Quick Attack the instant he hit the ground, trying to reach Zoro before the Meowth could recover. Rather than dodge, Zoro ran forward to meet him with a Slash attack. They collided once more in midair, sparks flying away from the impact. Both of them fell back to the ground and landed on their feet, panting and trying not to fall over from exhaustion…and in Pikachu's case, not pass out from blood loss. Catching his breath, Pikachu shot off another Thunder, which naturally was immediately countered by one of Zoro's Thunderbolts, the collision of lightning lighting up the whole arena.

As the flash of light died down, Pikachu ran forward, jumping towards Zoro and preparing another Iron Tail. Zoro jumped up to catch him with his own Iron Tail. However, rather than clashing tails as they had before…

BOTH of them hit their targets, Pikachu's tail crashing down on Zoro's head and Zoro's tail smashing into Pikachu's gut. Stunned by the hit, both of them fell back to the ground and landed on their stomachs, covered in scratches and bruises and struggling to maintain consciousness. Their bodies trembled as each of them tried to get their aching muscles to push them back on their feet for one more go.

"Whoa! It looks like both Pokemon are down for the count! If neither of them can get back on their feet, then the Fighting Four will win by default! Although, technically, even if Zoro managed to stand up first, he'd still probably lose, since he can't really fight Gonzales and Night Slash in his condition…" the MC said.

"Come on! Stand up!" Ash called to Pikachu.

"You can do it! You've come this far! Don't lose now!" said Sasha.

"We're all rooting for you, brutha! Ain't that right, little guy?" Leo asked Tiny. Tiny stared at him blankly. "Oh, never mind."

"Get up, Zoro!" El Toro, who'd returned wearing a paper bag on his head, shouted.

"Si, do not lose to a little _raton!_" Lobo added.

"My heart is with you, as always, _mi amor!_ You cannot lose!" Rosa cried.

Leo blinked. "Huh? Him and her are…hmm, guess I shouldn't be surprised. Though I _am_ oddly disappointed for some reason. Guess I was just a little fun on the side for her, huh?" Tiny stared at him. "For the last time, no, it wasn't rape; I enjoyed it as much as she did. Even if I wasn't entirely in control at the time. And besides, she didn't actually touch me in any off-limits areas, just did things that…you know, aroused me, and made me feel…wait, why am I talking to you about this, kiddo? You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?" Tiny sucked on his pacifier. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

"PLUS! PLUS! PLUS!" Pikachu's fans in the audience shouted.

"ZORO! ZORO! ZORO!" Zoro's fans shouted back.

"SOMEONE! ANYONE! EITHER ONE!" the MC added.

There was a gasp and round of applause as Pikachu and Zoro, perhaps reenergized by the cheers of the crowd, staggered back to their feet, looking like shit but still conscious. They panted heavily, so tired that it was a miracle they had the strength to stand. "YES! They're back on their feet! It doesn't look like either of them has anything left to attack with, though…but this battle has to end somehow! Who will prevail?" the MC wondered.

"We must…do this again sometime," Zoro gasped, managing a faint smile.

"Next time…I'll bring my _real_ sword," Pikachu promised, smiling back.

There was a pause…then both of them fell to the floor, unconscious. "NO!" Rosa cried.

"SENOR ZORO!" Lobo and El Toro shouted.

"No, Pika—er, Plus!" Ash cried.

Leo sighed. "A double KO…figures."

"Oh no! It looks as if Plus and Zoro fell unconscious at the same time! Which means…uh…" the MC paused. "I…guess that means the Fighting Four are the winners, since they're the only team with Pokemon still standing in the ring! So…hooray?" Somewhat confused, the crowd cheered.

"At least they're not booing us," Sasha noted. "I'm sure that won't last long."

"Damn…I can't believe they both passed out at the same time!" Ash said. "I was expecting Plus to win, I mean, he put everything he had into that fight!"

"As did Zoro. Which is why they fell at the same time, since both of them put everything they had into their battle, so didn't have anything left," Sasha said wisely.

"I guess so," Ash said. "But this means neither of them is the best swordsmon."

"Eh, no big deal, that just means they'll both try even harder to better themselves and make the next fight between them even awesomer, dawg," Leo said as he came over, followed (far behind) by Tiny. "That's how this sort of thing usually works."

"Indeed! And Zoro will not be the only one to try and better himself!" Rosa said as she and the rest of the libertadors came onto the stage.

Lobo nodded. "All of us will try to become stronger so that when we fight again in the future, we will not go down quite so easily!" Sasha glared at him, and he nearly wet himself. "Um, uh, and in the meantime, I'll also be sure to curb some of my narcissistic tendencies and be nicer and less loose or demanding with the womon I court."

"Good," said Sasha.

"And I may have overreacted a little when I said you'd ruined my life," El Toro said to Ash. "It turns out most Pokemon can't tell Tauros apart, so my enemies probably still have no idea who I am. That means my family is safe, too."

Ash smiled, a relieved look on his face. "I'm glad to hear that! And I have no problem fighting you guys again someday. You gave me a pretty good workout!"

"As did you! We definitely need to battle again, to find out for certain which of us is the strongest…especially since our own fight was rather inconclusive due to my, ah, running away like that…" the bull said Mareepishly.

"Hey, you wouldn't be the first one to do something embarrassing during a battle," Ash reassured him. "Plus could tell you about lots of times I've made a fool of myself…which is why it's a good thing he's knocked out right now."

"I could tell those stories for him," Sasha offered.

"Please don't," Ash said anxiously.

"I hope you have no hard feelings for my defeating you the way I did…and, ah, I apologize if I took too many liberties with you while you were under my spell…I sometimes lose my head and overdo things when I have an adoring love-slave to play with," Rosa apologized to Leo.

"You wouldn't believe some of the scars and…_other_ markings we've found on Zoro after a few times when they got _really_ passionate," El Toro whispered to Ash.

"And I call myself an ardent lover! But compared to those two…" Lobo murmured.

Ash grimaced. "I really did not need to hear that."

Leo waved off Rosa's concern. "Hey, babe, s' nothing to worry about, yo! I had fun too, you didn't touch me anywhere you shouldn't have, and you didn't do anything to me that I wouldn't have wanted done to me under, ah, different circumstances, if you know what I mean…I may have lost the match, and my skin might be turning purple and I've lost feeling in my extremities due to excessive poisoning, but having all the attention of a beautiful _chica_ like yourself focused on me made it totally worthwhile! Heck, I wouldn't mind experiencing something like that again sometime…though, ah, next time you might not need the Attract, catch my drift? You're a pretty enticing lady all by yourself…"

Rosa giggled. "Oh, senor _tortuga_, you are too much! You will be a favorite among all the ladies someday, I guarantee it!"

Leo wiggled his eyebrows. "Qué hace que usted piensa I' ¿m no ya?"

(What makes you think I'm not already?)

She giggled again. Everyone else stared, rather disturbed. "Are they…flirting?" asked a horrified El Toro.

"This is something else I really didn't need to hear," said a sickened Ash.

"Dammit! She's actually paying attention to him, and I use _way_ better pickup lines than he does!" Lobo snarled. Sasha glared at him, and he quickly said, "But I won't ever again, I swear! Please don't castrate me…" Tiny sucked on his pacifier, having no idea what was going on or why everyone was making a big deal out of it.

"They're becoming friends? I should probably be upset about that, but…awww, the fighting was just so damn good I can't really work up the strength to be angry at them! Maybe this 'friendship' thing isn't so bad after all," the MC said reluctantly.

The crowd kept cheering, Joy showed up soon after to cart everyone off to the Pokemon Center, and nobody noticed a small figure had been watching the whole fight from the rafters of the arena. And _that_ figure didn't notice it was being watched by the ninja Buneary, who was wondering why she kept feeling drawn to these irritating Pokemon who kept bumping into her when she should be more focused on her revenge…and why this other figure, whoever it was, also seemed to share an interest in Team Aurabolt…

…

Meanwhile, in Pokemon Square…

"Giovanni!" Aaron shouted, kicking the door leading to Giovanni's office off its hinges.

The annoyed Persian glanced up from the paperwork he had been filling out on his desk. "It was unlocked, you know."

"Yeah, but we like making a dramatic entrance," Raiki said, sword out as he and Aaron entered the room.

Giovanni sighed and pushed the paperwork to the side. "I see. And for what reason did you feel it prudent to make such a dramatic entrance? You're going to have to pay for that door, by the way."

"We didn't come alone, Giovanni," Aaron said, fists burning with Aura. "The Mayor has authorized your arrest, and we have the entire bank surrounded by high-ranking Rescue Teams to keep anyone from escaping. We're here to apprehend you."

Giovanni raised an eyebrow. "Really? On what charges?"

"Just last night a group calling itself 'Team Rocket' which happened to consist of your nephew and several of his friends attempted to capture my sons and their friends during a match at Mt. Battle so they could give them to their 'boss.' Considering that Mickey is _your_ nephew and that he and most of his friends _work_ for you, it's not very hard to guess who this 'boss' is," Raiki said.

Giovanni smirked. "What, that's all you have on me? Not very good evidence of any crime or involvement on my end. It would never hold up in a court of law, at least, not the courts we use in Pokemon Square!"

"There's also the various reports from people around town that something fishy's been going on with the accounts they have in your bank, the fact that most of the Pokemon who work for you in town have abruptly vanished, testimony from the Kecleon Bros. that you or proxies working for you have been ordering and purchasing a lot of suspicious materials from them lately, the fact that you've been working on new metal for your security system that 'incidentally' happens to be immune to Aura which indicates you have something to hide…and the fact that you've gotten back _awfully_ fast from that 'business trip' you said you were on, considering it was only the day before yesterday I came by and you said via teleconference you were out of the continent. If it even _was_ a teleconference…" Aaron said, crossing his arms and giving Giovanni a hard look.

"Ah," said Giovanni. "Yes. Well. I suppose that does paint a rather incriminating picture of me, doesn't it?"

"Yep," said Raiki.

"It certainly does," said Aaron.

Giovanni sighed. "Well done, I suppose I knew you'd figure out that I was up to something sooner or later, Aaron…you are the legendary Rescue Team leader, after all."

"Enough with the flattery, Giovanni. We're taking you in," said Aaron.

"I'm afraid not," Giovanni said. "For you see, you failed to anticipate something."

"And what's that?" Raiki asked.

"The self-destruct mechanism," said Giovanni.

There was a pause. "The what now?" Aaron asked.

"The bank's self-destruct system, which I triggered the instant you burst into my office," Giovanni said. "If I'm correct, you have…three minutes left before this place explodes, giving you just enough time to save the innocent employees I locked in the break room, but not enough time to break through the force field splitting this room in half and protecting me from you."

Raiki walked forward. "What force-" He bumped into thin air. "Oh. That one."

Aaron snorted. "This flimsy barrier won't keep me out for long. I can already see the weak points in its energy field!"

"Yes, but I've still estimated it will take you approximately four minutes to break through, by which time I'll have safely escaped and the bank will have exploded. With you in it," Giovanni said. "Oh, I'm sure you'll survive, and possibly Raiki, but not the poor employees. Shouldn't you go and rescue them or something? You have only two minutes and thirty seconds left. And don't get any bright ideas about going _around_ the field, it's reinforcing the walls, floor, and ceiling too."

"You're bluffing. Why would you rig a bank with a self-destruct mechanism?" Aaron asked. "It makes no sense! Not to mention I don't see any signs of explosives anywhere in this building using my Aura-sight."

"Yeah, and besides, if there were really a self-destruct mechanism, wouldn't there be flashing lights and blaring sirens and a computerized voice telling us how much time we had left before the place blew while everything was shaking and the roof was caving in on our heads?" Raiki asked.

Giovanni smirked. "You can't see the explosives because they're hidden behind the new Aura-proof metal I've developed, hidden from your Aura-sight. And you don't see any of that stuff going on because only an imbecile would use a shoddy self-destruct like that in his base, I prefer to use ones that don't give bumbling heroes the slightest idea they're about to be blown up until it's too late."

"Except that you just told us about it, sort of defeating the purpose," Aaron said.

"Not to mention that the reason none of that is going on could be because you're bluffing and there _is_ no self-destruct," Raiki added.

"You're right. I could be bluffing. But it will still take you four minutes to break through my barrier, and the explosives, _if_ they exist, will go off in two minutes, killing my poor employees. If I'm lying, you have nothing to worry about…but what if I'm not? Can you _really_ take that risk? I know you have no problem putting your own lives on the line, but other peoples? That's a no-no for heroes like yourselves, isn't it?"

"Yeah, except we won't have to worry about that because Aaron can tell if you're lying by reading your Aura! Right, Aaron?" Raiki asked.

Aaron hesitated. "Uh…well…"

Giovanni smirked. "Let me guess, you're having trouble seeing me properly? That would be because I'm wearing a collar made of that Aura-proof metal, to keep you from reading me like that. I knew you would be coming, so I prepared in advance."

"Dammit," Aaron swore.

"Uh…crap, what do we do now?" Raiki asked.

"Since you have one minute and thirty seconds left, I'll make this simple and solve your problem for you by stepping on this warp tile here," Giovanni said, gesturing at an oddly glowing panel next to his desk. "And teleporting to safety. Once I'm gone, the tile will deactivate, so you can't chase after me, even if you managed to get through the force field fast enough. That will leave you with no other option but to save my employees and get out of here before the bank explodes."

Raiki blinked. "Wait…if you could do that all along, then why'd you mess with us by making it sound like we had a choice about what we could do?"

"To make you sweat," Giovanni said.

"Asshole," Raiki grumbled.

"Tata, gentlemon, I expect I'll see you again," Giovanni said, getting out of his seat and sauntering over to the tile.

"Giovanni!" Aaron shouted as the Persian stepped onto the tile and vanished in a flash of light. "This isn't over!"

"But it is for now," Raiki said, rushing for the exit. "Come on, let's rescue those hostages and get out of here!"

They smashed open the door to the break room and escorted the surprised Pokemon inside--who had been celebrating Jill the teller's birthday and hadn't even noticed they'd been locked in—out of the building with only seconds to spare. "Everyone get down, this place is gonna blow!" Raiki shouted to the Rescue Teams surrounding the bank as they came out the front doors. "Er, we think it will, anyway!"

Aaron turned to face the smug-looking Persian-shaped building. "I'll contain the explosion!" he said, thrusting his hands forward and forming a dome of shimmering blue energy around the bank.

"Since when could you do that?" asked the surprised Raiki.

"Just another new talent I've picked up," Aaron said. "Everyone brace yourselves, if it's going to go, it'll be any second now!"

Everyone squeezed their eyes shut and covered their ears in anticipation of a very large explosion. The seconds ticked by. A minute passed. Then another minute. And yet another one. Nothing happened. "Where's the kaboom?" Junior, who had shown up with Team GX to help his grandpa and cool uncle complained. "Shouldn't there have been a spectacular bank-shattering kaboom?"

The Gulpin who had been Giovanni's next-door neighbor shook his head scornfully. "Typical, he can't even blow up his lair properly."

"Dammit, it was a bluff after all," the frustrated Aaron said, lowering his shield. "We should've tried breaking through his force field rather than wasting our time like this!"

"Except that he'd have gotten away regardless, since his escape route was right next to him," Raiki pointed out. "Hey, at least the building's still intact, maybe we can search it and find out what he was up to."

Except that they couldn't. "Huh, guess he wasn't bluffing entirely after all," Raiki said.

"You don't say," Aaron said dryly.

The entire interior of the building was gone. All the rooms and floors had vanished, leaving a giant pit in their place, covered by a shell formed from the Persian-shaped outer walls and roof of the bank. They had nearly fallen into the enormous hole just walking through the front door. "How far do you think it goes down?" Raiki asked.

"I'm going to find out," Aaron said, jumping into the hole. Aura ignited Aura spheres on his feet, allowing him to levitate down.

"I'm coming too!" Collette said, fluttering over Raiki's head and flying down after Aaron, her body lighting up so she could see in the darkness below. Aaron, being blind and using Aura-sight, naturally had no need of such light, so it was purely for her benefit.

"You guys be careful!" Raiki called down after them. "And let me know if there are any Morlocks down there, those assholes stole my lawnmower the other day and haven't given it back yet!"

"Why do you have a lawnmower, Grandpa? Couldn't you just cut the lawn with your sword?" Sapphire, who was standing behind him with Junior, asked.

"You'd think so, wouldn't you?" Raiki grumbled. "But nooo…Delia's against it for some reason. Keeps saying I accidentally slice up her garden when I use my sword…it's not even that _nice_ a garden, Krabbytree has a much better one." The kids sweatdropped.

A few minutes later, Aaron and Collette flew back up, a frustrated look on their faces. "The hole is some kind of shaft that terminates in a horizontal tunnel thousands of feet below," Aaron said. "The tunnel has some kind of track in it, like the kind a train uses."

"I think Giovanni must've rigged up the entire inside of his bank so that he could lower it deep underground and spirit it away from the town in case of emergencies," Collette said.

"And he's stolen all our money too, the bastard! Where did the tracks go?" Raiki asked.

"It dead-ended pretty fast. He must have caved-in the tunnel behind him so that we couldn't chase after him," Aaron said. "I would have blasted through it, but I was worried I might bring the ceiling—and a good chunk of the town—down on our heads."

"How could he have hidden this right under our noses all this time?" Junior wondered.

"We can ask him when we finally catch up to him…we'll have to get a crew of Digletts and Dugtrios down there to excavate the cave-in and find out where the tunnel leads," Aaron said. He frowned thoughtfully. "However, the fact that Giovanni was able to construct all this at all indicates he must already have some diggers on his payroll, meaning we might not be able to follow him so easily."

Raiki shook his head, marveling. "Damn…you gotta hand it to the guy, he may be a jerk but he's one clever Classy Cat." He sighed unhappily. "And he took the money of just about everyone in town, too. I'd hate to be the Mayor, dealing with _this_ on top of all the other problems he has to worry about."

"Like the impending barbarian invasion?" Sapphire asked.

"That too," Raiki said glumly, wishing she hadn't reminded him of that. "That too."

…

Meanwhile, in Sinnorre…

"Hmmm…" Wabbaku hummed in thought, examining the colors on the tip of a painted stick he had just removed from Mickey's mouth. He shook it and scrutinized it more carefully, just to be sure there was no mistake in its readings. "Hmmm…"

Mickey, sitting on a tree stump nearby, fidgeted anxiously. "S-so what's da prognosis, doc? Am I cured or what?" The Meowth had spent the last few hours being poked and prodded by the Wobbuffet shaman to find out whether or not he was one hundred percent clean of Mewgle's influence.

"Well…" Wabbaku sighed. "The good news is…Mewgle's spirit has been completely removed from your body. No demon is possessing you now."

Mickey gasped. "Then…I'm cured?!"

"That's wonderful news!" James cried.

"Chiii!" said Chimecho.

"Which means we can finally put all this stupid demon business behind us and get on with finding Team Aurabolt!" said Jessie.

"And say goodbye to Wabbaku…forever…" Gardenia whispered miserably.

"I'm not finished," Wabbaku said gravely. "While Mewgle is gone from Mickey's body…he left a stain on his soul. His evil spirit was within Mickey long enough to leave demonic traces behind, remnants of his wicked power. While there is little threat that Mewgle might reconstitute himself from these traces…if left untreated, they could corrupt Mickey from within and transform him into a demon himself!"

They all gasped in horror. "Wait, that's bad, right?" James asked, just to be sure.

Wabbaku rolled his eyes. "Yes, that's _very_ bad." They all gasped again.

Mickey groaned. "Great! It's just one ting after anodder, isn't it?"

"That's horrible!" James cried. "I don't want Mickey to become a demon! Other than one in the sack. Which he already is."

Everyone stared at him in disgust. "We…really didn't need to hear that," Jessie said.

"Wabbaku, is there anything we can do to save Mickey?" Gardenia asked.

"Yeah, is there? I'm tired of being demonic, I just wanna be me!" Mickey complained.

Wabbaku nodded. "Fortunately, there is. All I need to do is perform a cleansing ritual to purify you and eliminate the last traces of demonic power within your body. However…"

Jessie groaned. "Don't tell me! You don't have all the ingredients we need, so we're going to have to go traipsing all over the place gathering the things we need and _further_ delaying our mission to capture Team Aurabolt!"

"If it's any consolation, I need far fewer ingredients, and they will be much easier to collect than the ones for the banishment spell would have been," Wabbaku told her.

Jessie paused. "Is that so?"

Wabbaku nodded. "Cleansing rituals are much simpler and require less effort than banishment spells. Exorcisms involve tearing a full-fledged demon soul from the mortal it inhabits, whereas a cleansing ritual just removes evil taints which tarnish the spirit."

"Oh, so it's like an exorcism is running a dishwasher full blast on all the dishes and silverware of your soul after a huge dinner while a cleansing ritual is just scrubbing some grease off a single plate of your spirit with your bare hands?" Gardenia asked.

"Essentially, yes," Wabbaku agreed. "A very apt analogy, Gardenia." The Cacnea blushed in gratitude.

"Other than the fact that the dishwasher does all the work of cleaning those dishes for you, while you would only get all sweaty getting rid of some really stubborn grease on the one plate," James said.

"Well, yeah, but the dishwasher uses more energy to do that!" Gardenia said defensively. "And if you didn't have a dishwasher and needed to clean all that stuff yourself, it would take even MORE energy than just cleaning the single plate!"

"That's true," James admitted.

"Why are we talking about dishwashing when a second ago we were discussing magic?" asked a very confused Jessie.

"I have no idea, my Queen," Buzz said loyally.

"So if you get dis stuff, den you can cure me for good, right?" Mickey asked Wabbaku.

Wabbaku nodded. "And hopefully make it so you will not be so susceptible to demonic possession in the future."

"Dat's great! What do we need first?" Mickey asked, eagerly hopping off the stump.

"Not so fast," Wabbaku warned him. "While the cleansing ritual will erase the evil within you, we need to do something to make sure that it doesn't grow too quickly and consume you completely before we have all the ingredients we need. If you become too much like a demon, then not even a cleansing ritual will be able to save you."

Mickey's shoulders sagged. "You're gonna paint crap all over me again, aren't you?"

"Someone get a rope, looks like we're dangling Mickey from the bottom of the balloon again!" Jessie shouted.

"No, no, we don't need to do anything as drastic as that this time," Wabbaku said with a chuckle. "All you will need is this." He handed a large object to Mickey.

The Meowth stared at it blankly. "Dis is a jar of dirt."

"Yes, it is," Wabbaku agreed.

"What exactly am I supposed to do wit' dis?" the confused cat asked.

"Just eat a little of it with every meal, so that the power of the earth spirits will infuse your body and keep the demon taint at bay," Wabbaku explained.

They all sweatdropped. "You…want me to eat dis?!" Mickey cried incredulously.

"Only a little at a time. Think of it as gourmet food seasoning!" Wabbaku suggested.

"I'm not gonna eat dirt!" Mickey shouted angrily.

"Why not? It can't taste much worse than what we usually eat," James said.

"Good point," Mickey admitted. "I _guess_ I'll eat it…but I won't like it!"

"We don't really care about your feelings," Jessie said flatly. Mickey scowled at her.

"Um…Wabbaku, does this mean you'll be staying with us a while longer?" Gardenia asked timidly.

Wabbaku nodded. "Although I have fulfilled my debt to Miss Jessie, I cannot leave in good faith when there is still a risk that an innocent…er…that a soul could be turned into a demon. You will need my help to purify him, so I will remain with Team Rocket until I can be certain that Mickey's soul is secure once more." It was all Gardenia could do not to squeal with joy and pass out.

"So, where do we need to go to find the first of the ingredients for this spell?" Jessie asked, resigned to being sidetracked from their mission yet again.

"We need to go to the Mysterious Woods and obtain a life crystal from the Tree of Beginning," Wabbaku explained.

"Great! Let's get going!" James said enthusiastically.

"Chiiii!" Chimecho chimed.

"Yeah, so we can make me all pure and stuff!" Mickey agreed.

"If we must," Jessie grunted.

"It should be no problem at all!" said Buzz.

Wabbaku nodded. "Yes, I just hope the fact that the Tree of Beginning has been _destroyed_ recently doesn't pose any significant problems to our quest…"

They stared at him. "Wait, what?" asked Gardenia.

…

Meanwhile, in Chicole Town…

After what seemed like weeks (but was really just a couple of days), the night of the sacrifice had arrived. Everyone in Chicole Town had assembled in a makeshift semicircular amphitheater facing the forest at the edge of the village, with all the tourists seated in the stands (with those who paid extra getting a front-row view of the action) while the villagers danced and sang and paraded about in colorful costumes before their audience. According to the brochures, this was all traditional ceremonial stuff that the Pokemon of Chicole had done for centuries on feast days and other holidays that didn't happen to involve someone getting sacrificed, but Gary had a more cynical view. "They probably just whipped all this up in the last few months," he grunted. "I mean, really, why would a fishing village ever waste time coming up with crap like this if it weren't for the benefit of the tourists?"

Mary nodded. "Plus, I'm pretty sure it wasn't traditional for them to do that processional thing with the Choinese dragon costumes, considering that's usually something only done by worshippers of the Dragon God King, which I highly doubt these people are. And then there's the belly dancing. And the fire-eating. It looks to me like they took bits and pieces of ceremonies and rituals from lots of other cultures and religions and threw them together into a mishmash for the purpose of drawing in more tourists."

"And it seems to be working pretty well, too," Maren said in disgust as she glanced out at all the overweight, sweaty, garishly-dressed Pokemon sitting all around them, gorging themselves on cheap snacks and taking lots of pictures. "I don't understand this. They're sacrificing one of their own to appease an evil giant snake! How can they turn something like that into a circus production?!"

"That's a very good question…" Gary murmured, rubbing his chin in thought.

"It may be a big ssshow and an awful way to capitalize on a tragedy like thisss, but it'sss ssstill fun to watch!" Evan hissed. He was wearing a giant foam snake head, waving a pennant with a two-headed snake on it, and wearing a T-shirt that said 'I went to see the sacrifice to Hissssa and all I got was this lousy T-shirt' while eating popcorn and fried 'snake wings.' (Actually, it was regular Tauros wings, but they had been cut to look wiggly and serpentine.)

"Evan, I can't believe you got all this stuff! We're here to STOP this circle of death, not endorse it!" Gary snapped.

"Yeah, but I wanted sssome sssouvenirsss," Evan said. "And I got a real bargain on all thisss ssstuff! It wasss ssso cheap! How could I posssibly passs it up?"

"Why did you even get a T-shirt? You don't have arms!" Maren asked.

"It wasss part of the package," Evan admitted. "You don't think it looksss good on me?"

"No," they all said. He sulked.

Abruptly, Gary noticed that all the music and shouting and fireworks--yes, there were fireworks too—had stopped, and a hushed silence had fallen over the amphitheatre. "Evan, we'll discuss your failure to commit to team spirit later, I think the main event is about to begin."

As several villagers standing near the bottom tier of seats started banging on bongo drums—which, like a lot of the other things, were not native to the area—the Cherrim Mayor walked out into the big performance space in the middle of the amphitheater, his face and head leaves heavily painted, wearing a ridiculously colorful headdress and long trailing robe, and carrying a walking stick with a conch shell on the tip. He turned to face the audience, his robe sweeping dramatically behind him, as the drumbeats came to a stop. He stared out at the crowd as cameras flashed and people took pictures of him. "Since time immemorial," he intoned, a sorrowful look on his face. "Our village has been besieged by a terrible monster."

"I thought it only started several months ago," said Mary.

"He's just being melodramatic," Gary grumbled.

"Many have tried to slay the beast, but none have succeeded. The only way we can stave off the fiend is by routinely appeasing its hunger for Pokemon flesh…by sacrificing one of our own dear sons to satisfy the monster!" the Mayor said solemnly. "One by one, we have seen the beast drag our children off to its lair…and now, I have no choice but to sacrifice my only son, lest the monster destroy our village! Is there none who can prevent this atrocity from occurring? Is there none who can spare my son having to give up his life to save his home?"

Gary started to raise his hand, but Mary elbowed him. "I think it's a rhetorical question."

"But we _are_ going to stop it from occurring," Gary protested. "He knows that! Why's he still acting all doom-and-gloom?"

"Because he doesn't believe you can do it?" Maren said. "After all those others have tried and failed and presumably gotten eaten?"

"Or maybe he doesssn't _want_ usss to sssave hisss ssson," Evan suggested.

Maren gaped. "That's a horrible thing to say!"

"And yet he, and everyone else, has been trying their best to dissuade us from saving Jerry…even Jerry himself!" Mary pointed out.

Gary nodded in agreement. "Something fishy's going on here…other than the village's primary occupation and source of food, that is."

"None can save us! None can stop this tragedy from repeating itself again and again, as we are forced to watch our fine young lads march into the jaws of the monster!" the Mayor cried, and, as if on cue, the other villagers in the performance space started weeping and wailing in despair as well. "But what choice do we have? It is either this, or annihilation! And so it is with a heavy heart that I must give up my only son to save us all." He gestured, and a large group of villagers parted to allow Jerry, his spherical body covered in ornaments and jewelry and his second head painted over to look like a pearl so it didn't creep anyone out, marched forward, accompanied by a procession of guards in 'ceremonial' armor and weapons. The group walked across the field towards the waiting Mayor, their path lit by flashes from the dozens of tourist cameras snapping shots of the event. They came to a halt before the Mayor, and Cherrim and Cherubi turned towards each other, equally solemn looks on their faces. "Jerry, my son, do you know what is being asked of you?"

"I know, Father," Jerry said quietly.

"And you understand that if you go through with this, you will be eaten alive by the great beast?" the Mayor continued.

"Yes. But what choice do I have? I would gladly give my life for the town that I was born in. This place is my home. I cannot allow it to be destroyed because I refused to do my duty," Jerry said.

The Mayor nodded sadly, like he had expected this response. "Then proceed, my son. You shall never be forgotten."

Jerry passed the Mayor and climbed a small stairway to the top of a platform standing in the middle of the amphitheater, where he stood alone. Facing the forest, he took a deep breath and shouted, "HISSSSAAAAAAAAA!"

All was silent as his cry echoed into the darkness. A few tourists took pictures, but most of them just looked on, their collective breaths held in anticipation, waiting for a reply.

And then…

The earth trembled. The nearby trees rustled and shook violently. Without warning, what appeared to be a gigantic black and gold hoop smashed out of the forest and rolled towards the amphitheater. The tourists cried in alarm (and took photos), and Team Nightshade tensed up. "This is it…" Gary whispered.

The hoop circled the interior of the amphitheater several times, spinning dangerously close to the stands and causing the seated tourists to panic and clamber over each other to get out of proximity of the giant wheel. The hoop's revolutions slowed as it spiraled inwards towards the center of the amphitheater, passing around the platform in the middle again and again, before coming to a halt just in front of it and tipping over, landing so that the platform passed right through the hole in its center and kept Jerry from getting squished. Dust was thrown up when the hoop hit the ground, temporarily obscuring everyone's view…but when the cloud cleared, it became very plain that the hoop was more than it seemed, especially when it began _writhing._ What looked like a knot in one section of the hoop unraveled into two strands, the ends of which rose up and revealed themselves to be immense serpentine heads with red fangs and long forked tongues. The hoop was no hoop at all, but an enormous Seviper with a head at both ends rather than a tail! The audience screamed in horror, then took lots of photographs as the serpent reared both heads into the air and hissed so loudly that their bones trembled.

"That…is Hissssa?! Incredible…" whispered Mary.

"So that's who we gotta take down, huh? Heh, she doesn't look so tough," Gary boasted.

"It's horrific…" Maren gasped. "What a monster!"

Evan, on the other hand, had a completely different reaction to the serpent. "Wow! Ssshe'sss beautiful!" he hissed, eyes turning into hearts.

"Evan! Get a hold of yourself, she's the enemy!" Gary cried.

"Can't we be loversss rather than fightersss for once? Ssshe'sss really hot!" Evan said.

Mary put her face in her hands. "I don't believe this…can't we go anywhere without you doing something stupid like this?!"

"No, not really," Evan said, still lovestruck.

"Why can't you all be normal heroes? Is that too much to ask?" Maren groaned.

"Unfortunately, it is," Gary said with a sigh.

Hissssa looked imperiously at the punier Pokemon surrounding her with all four eyes. "The appointed hour…" one head started.

"Hasss arrived!" the other finished.

"Give usss our sssacrifice…" the first head hissed.

"Or we ssshall devour all who ssstand before usss!" the second said. The crowd gasped in fright and took more pictures.

The Mayor bowed his head in supplication. "Great Hissssa, your sacrifice stands before you: my only son, Jerry. Please accept his life, so that the rest of us may live in peace."

"Craven coward…giving up one of your own…" the first head hissed.

"Jussst to live a little longer!" the second sneered.

"Neverthelesss…" the first head said.

"We will accept thisss sacrifice, asss paltry asss he may be!" the second finished.

"Hmm…that'sss actually a good point," Evan murmured.

"What is?" Mary asked.

"Ssshe'sss jussst going to eat Jerry? Look at the little guy, there'sss barely any meat on him!" Evan hissed.

"That would be because he's a plant," Gary pointed out.

"Regardlesss, he'sss _way_ too sssmall a morsssel to sssatisssfy the hunger of sssomeone asss big asss _that_ gorgeousss ssscaly beauty over there," Evan said. "Ssso why'sss ssshe jussst accepting him rather than demanding a bigger meal?"

"Maybe she doesn't actually need the sacrifice and eats something else, but demands it anyway to keep the village under her control?" Maren suggested.

"Or maybe something else is going on…" Gary murmured.

Hissssa lowered both her heads to glare at Jerry. "Come with usss, little one," the first head hissed.

"We will take you back to our lair," the second one said.

"And eat you!" the first hissed.

"It will not be pleasant," the second warned.

"But it ssshouldn't take long," the first said.

"Other than the weeksss it will take for you to be fully digesssted in our ssstomach," the second added.

"Better hope you're not ssstill alive during that," the first said. "And that the poissson we'll pump you full of firssst will kill you rather than jussst paralyze you!"

"That happensss to our mealsss sssometimesss," the second head said. Jerry gulped and shook with terror.

"Should we do something?" Mary asked.  
Gary shook his head. "No, remember the plan. We wait till she grabs Jerry, then track her back to her lair and finish her off there. If we fight her here, we could do a lot of collateral damage."

"Since when has that ever been a problem for us?" Mary asked.

"Too many people get hurt, the Mayor might be less likely to give us a big reward," Gary pointed out. Maren grumbled something about how real heroes shouldn't be greedy, but he didn't pay attention.

"I don't really wanna hurt her…can't we jussst talk thisss out?" Evan asked. "Ssshe doesssn't really ssseem very evil…"

"Evan, she was talking about pumping Jerry full of poison then slowly digesting him over many weeks! And didn't seem too bothered that he might still be _alive_ for most of that!" Maren said in exasperation.

"Ssso? I've fantasssized about doing the same thing to my mealsss sssometimesss," Evan said. They gave him disgusted looks. "What? Like Gary hasssn't done worssse thingsss with _hisss _food?"

"Hey, that guy whose dreams I ate woke up from his coma! Eventually…with most of his memories intact…" Gary said. They all sweatdropped.

One of Hissssa's mouths opened, and a forked tongue snaked (pardon the pun) out and wrapped itself around Jerry, lifting the wailing Cherubi into the air. "With thisss, our busssinesss isss concluded…" the head hissed, her speech not visibly impeded by having a Pokemon in her tongue.

"For now!" the second head said. "We ssshall return sssoon enough, and if another young mon hasss not reached hisss ripenesss by that time-" She froze.

The first head gave her a puzzled look. "What isss it?"

"Look! Over there!" the second hissed. "Right next to the fat Muk and that ssskinny hairlesss Jynx!"

"Oooh, now I sssee!" the first head said. "Good eye!"

Everyone in the amphitheater was greatly confused. "Er…what are you talking about?" said the perplexed Mayor.

"Is there even a Muk or a Jynx here? I don't see any," Gary said, glancing around.

Maren froze. "Wait…is it just me, or are they looking right at us?"

There was a horrified pause. "…Oh crap," Gary said.

"Wait, did she call me a skinny bald Jynx?! That bitch!" Mary snapped.

"And I resent that remark! I am not a Muk!" Gary agreed.

Hissssa abruptly slithered over to the stands, much to everyone's surprise and terror. "W-wait, what are you doing?! Stop this!" the Mayor cried in alarm, only to be ignored.

The audience screamed and surged away from the giant two-headed snake as it approached them. Everyone further away just took more pictures as Hissssa thrust both her faces only inches away from Team Nightshade. "Oooh, isssn't he handsssome?" the first head hissed.

"It'sss been a long time sssince we've ssseen a male thisss fine!" the second agreed.

Gary blinked. "Uh, ladies, while I can't say I'm not flattered-"

"I think they're talking about Evan," Maren interrupted.

"Ah." Gary paused. "Wait, since when is Evan sexier than me?!"

"This is very strange…even for us," said the disturbed Mary.

"Come here often, ssslick ssstuff?" the first head asked Evan.

Evan laughed nervously, uncertain how to deal with the attention. "Uh, w-well, um, not, not really, I'm, ah, jussst in the neighborhood…"

"He isss ssso adorable!" the second head cooed. "I could jussst eat him right up!"

"Eep," said Evan, feeling equal parts terrified and…aroused?

"Wait! Stop! That's not part of the agreement!" the shocked Mayor cried, waving his staff to try and get Hissssa's attention. "We give you one of our young lads every now and then, and you don't destroy the village…_or_ eat the tourists, who are our guests and therefore technically temporarily part of the village too!"

"We promisssed not to _eat_ the tourissstsss," the first head said.

"We never sssaid we couldn't have a little…_fun_ with them. Essspecially the cute onesss!" the second head said.

"Come to Mama…" the first head hissed.

"Hot ssstuff!" the other finished, flicking her tongue at Evan.

Mary slapped it away with a glowing Focus Punch. "You stay away from him, you skanky snake!" she snapped.

"Yeah, you're taking Evan away over my undead body!" Gary said, charging up a Shadow Ball.

"Th-thanksss, guysss," said the startled Evan.

_So…they really do care for him? _Maren thought, somewhat surprised.

"Without him, we don't have a meat shield or scapegoat to blame all our problems on!" Gary continued. "Plus, I'd feel kind of bad about it for some reason."

Maren sweatdropped. _Then again…_

"Glad to sssee how much I'm appreciated. Being eaten and/or sssexed up by a giant two-headed Ssseviper isss sssounding better all the time…" Evan grumbled.

Hissssa laughed. "You would fight me here…" one head said.

"Where ssso many people could get hurt? Sssome heroesss!" the other hissed.

"You're lucky we're not in a mood to fight," the first said.

"Ssso we'll jussst take our prizesss and ssslither," the second said.

"Bye!" they chorused, opening their mouths and spewing out a great cloud of Haze that engulfed the entire amphitheater. There was much screaming and panicking as everyone was blinded by the smoke.

"Aaaahhh! Help! Help! Ssshe'sss got me!" Evan screamed from somewhere in the fog.

"Don't worry, pal, I've got you!" Gary said, grabbing what he thought was Evan's tail.

"So do I! We won't let you go without a fight!" Mary agreed.

That's when the Haze cleared and they saw that they were both tugging on an irritated Maren's wings. "You're not Evan," Gary said stupidly.

"Gee, you think?!" Maren snapped.

"Where did they go?" Mary asked, glancing around and seeing no sign of Hissssa, Jerry, or Evan.

"She scurried away under the cover of darkness, like the slimy worm she is," the Mayor said, pointing to a trail leading through a great mass of broken trees that could only be made by something like a giant wheel—or a two-headed snake curled up like a wheel--rolling through at high speeds. "I can't believe this is happening…she's never taken a tourist before! Warriors and sacrifices, but never tourists! This is terrible, now she might decide to break the agreement completely and choose to devour us all at once!" Hearing that, the crowd panicked and quickly surged out of the amphitheater, trampling over each other and a number of poor villagers who happened to be in the way.

"Maybe not…Do you think she might have just made us as warriors intending to take her down and attacked preemptively?" Mary suggested.

"Somehow I doubt that," the Mayor said flatly. "This has gotten out of control…more than it already was, anyway! Hissssa must be stopped before she decides to go back on her word completely and devours everything…and I'm afraid that you are the only ones who can do it!"

"Don't worry, Mister Mayor, we'll save Evan!" Gary said.

"And Jerry," Mary reminded him.

"Huh? Oh, him too," Gary said. He clenched his hand into a fist, eyes flashing with anger and determination. "Evan…we may not have always seen eye to eye, but you're still a part of our team. I don't intend to lose any more friends…not after what happened to Gooey. Never again, you hear me? NEVER AGAIN!"

"Hissssa left a trail for us to follow. Let's go after her before she eats Jerry and either eats Evan or does…unmentionable things to him," Mary said.

"I'll come too," Maren said. _If someone with a level head isn't there, they'll probably get themselves, Evan, and Jerry killed!_

"I don't know if this is the thing a civilian should get involved in…" Gary said skeptically. "But since Evan's in need of rescuing, I guess we have no choice but to put you on the team in his place."

"Does this mean I get a badge and everything?" Maren asked.

Mary snorted. "You? Please, you're nowhere near Rescue Team material! We're only taking you because we have better odds going in with three rather than two." Maren's eye twitched, and she had to refrain from using one of the many methods of killing she had been taught in her Mirage Kingdom special forces training to disembowel the Medicham.

"You'd probably be better off without the badge, considering the bad luck most of those who wear one have been going through lately…" Gary said solemnly.

Maren grimaced. "Good point."

"Whether you're a full team member or just a placeholder doesn't matter, what we need to do is chase after Hissssa before she gets too far ahead of us!" Mary said. "If she gets away, we may not be able to catch her in time to keep her from eating Jerry and doing…whatever to Evan."

Gary nodded and pointed dramatically towards the trail of destruction the mighty serpent had left behind. "Right! Team Nightshade, it's time to go rescue Evan!"

"And Jerry," Mary reminded him.

"Him too!" Gary said.

Maren sweatdropped _We are so doomed._

_They are so doomed,_ the Mayor thought. Oddly, he seemed to be _hoping_ for this…

…

Well, that took a while to write. I had hoped to get this done sooner, but it seems that as chapters get longer, I need more time to finish them, or something like that. I had hoped to finish this arc before school starts, but it doesn't look like that's an option. Oh well. Let's hope I can at least get it done before year's end, so we can move on to more interesting events in the next arc.

Anyway, how was this chapter? And tell me…does what Rosa did to Leo count as rape or not? I'm kind of struggling with this one.


	28. Day 5: part 1 Ice, Blood, and Shadows

We're nearing the end of this arc. With any luck, there should only be two or three chapters to go, with a bunch of plot threads converging and either ending or starting something new. And then we can finally move onto something other than constant fighting, which is good, because I have big plans for this story and I'm a little frustrated it's taking so long for them to reach fruition. Anyway, enough of that for now, it's time for the Mt. Battle finals!

Disclaimer: I don't own any character that doesn't belong to me.

…

The final day of the Mt. Battle tenth anniversary tournament had come. After battling their way through countless other competitors seeking the same prize as they (though it was doubtful any of them knew its true value), Team Aurabolt had made it to the finals, and now they only needed to defeat one more opponent for a chance at the championship. There was just one small problem.

"We're going up against Paul Yami?!" Leo had cried in horror when the identity of the fighter they were going to be matched against was announced. "Crud, we're in some serious shit, yo!"

"Why? What's so bad about him?" Pikachu had asked.

"He is a Weavile. That means Ash should have a significant advantage against him in the arena," Sasha had pointed out, referring to Ash's innate Lucario Steel/Fighting superiority over a Weavile's Dark/Ice power.

"Assuming I'm the one who's fighting him," Ash had said, though he felt oddly determined to face Paul in the ring. He wasn't sure why. Something about the Weavile's name resonated with him, though…and not in a good way. Could it have something to do with him sharing the same name as that rather unpleasant and abusive Pokemon trainer he saw in one of his flashbacks of his life as a human?

"Since there's just one of him, rather than a team, only one of us can fight him. Considering that you have the type advantage, you're the best one to go against him," Pikachu had said.

"Yeah," Ash had admitted. "But each of us has already had a turn fighting solo against someone except Sasha. It doesn't seem fair for me to go again, type advantage or not."

"I don't mind passing up a fight if it means someone more suited to it has a better chance than I," Sasha had said graciously.

Ash had shrugged. "Guess I'm fighting him, then."

"Is nobody listening to me?!" Leo had shouted. "Paul Yami is bad news! He's won almost every major tournament in the world at least once, except for Mt. Battle! He's been trying for the last five years, but always loses against Wes or some other guy, so has never gotten the title of champion. That means he's going to be trying _really_ hard to win this year, and to him you'll be nothing but a stepping stone on the climb to the title, and he steps on stones _hard._ Hard enough to break them, I mean."

Unfortunately for Leo, this had only fired Ash up even more for the coming fight. "Really? Sounds like a pretty tough contender…and this means Wes must be even _stronger_ if he keeps defeating someone who his Psychic abilities have no effect on! Wow! I wouldn't mind fighting that guy too…"

"Even though _you'd_ be the one at a bit of a disadvantage?" Pikachu had asked.

"Hmm…good point, maybe Sasha should take him instead…" Ash had said reluctantly.

"I would be happy to," Sasha had said.

Leo had groaned in frustration. "You guys don't get it! Didn't you hear what I said about him _breaking _stones, and by stones I meant other Pokemon? His fighting style and what he does to the majority of his enemies is so brutal and ruthless that it's amazing he hasn't been banned from the professional fighting circuit! In fact, most of the more respectable rings have permanently blackballed him! He doesn't kill his opponents (usually) but they're often in so many pieces by the time he's through with them that it's amazing Nurse Joy can put them back together again!"

Irritatingly, Ash still had not been worried. "So? The same thing can be said of most of the barbarians I've fought, and I'm sure many Nihilators too, but I've still taken out a fair share of either."

"Were any of them as strong as Paul?" Leo had asked.

"Probably not, but that just means I'm gonna have to use that much extra power to win!" Ash had said, relishing the challenge, like all good Fighting Pokemon did.

"Well, you're gonna need a _lot_ of extra power, considering this: In the hundreds of fights Paul's been in, he's never _once _ever been injured enough to need healing from a Joy! In fact, he's never gotten injured at _all_; the only blood that's ever on him when a match is over is that of his opponent's!" Leo had said ominously.

They had glanced at him sharply at this. "That's not possible," Pikachu had said.

"Does he know some kind of healing move like Recover?" Sasha had asked.

Leo had shaken his head. "No! He's just _that damn tough._ He's taken blows from some of the strongest fighters in the world, blows that can shatter fucking _mountains_, yet he always gets back up without a scratch and returns for some more!"

Ash had frowned, uncertainty finally penetrating his thick skull. "That…can't be right. Weavile aren't that durable, are they?"

"This one is!" Leo had insisted.

"Wait, if he's that tough, then how has anyone ever been able to defeat him?" Pikachu had asked skeptically.

"By throwing him out of the ring," Leo had explained. "Remember, knocking your foe out cold isn't the only way to win a match."

"Though it helps," Sasha had said.

"Then that's what I'll do if he really shrugs off all my strongest attacks as easily as you say he can," Ash had decided. "I'm pretty strong, and he'll be pretty light, I could probably throw him pretty far…so I won't have to look at his not pretty face." They had given him confused looks. "Uh, never mind."

"It's not as easy as you think," Leo had warned him. "Most fighters who try that usually lose an arm. Or two. And maybe half their faces. And even if you do get him off his feet, he's pretty athletic and resourceful, the guy's managed to get back in the ring without touching the ground more than once in the past."

"I'll keep that in mind," Ash had said, now taking Leo's advice seriously. "Any other tips you can give me?"

"No," Leo had said unhappily. "Paul's lost so few times in the past that it's hard to gauge if he has any real weaknesses. The best way you can win is by getting lucky."

"Then it's a good thing that I've always been a lucky Pokemon," Ash had said.

"That's debatable," Pikachu had muttered, rolling his eyes. Tiny had sucked on his pacifier but said nothing.

And so it was that Ash found himself standing in the central arena of Mt. Battle, face-to-face with the infamous Paul, early the next morning. The arena was at least twice the size of the other ones that he and the others had fought in over the last week, capable of holding maybe three times as many cheering and screaming Pokemon with a much larger ring for the lucky (or unlucky) fighters to duel in. According to Leo, during other special matches and tournaments held now and then at Mt. Battle, the ring could be rigged with all sorts of deadly traps and obstacles like spinning blades, flame jets, lava pits, sleeping gas dispensers, giant rotating statues that shot fire from their eyes, invincible shielded flying energy cannons, collapsing floor tiles, and even a cage that could drop over the stage with an artificial gravity generator that forced Pokemon to continue their fighting on the walls and ceiling as the floor below them was engulfed in lava. Fortunately, Ash wouldn't have to worry about any of that, since the decennial tournament was a test of old-fashioned blood and guts rather than the ability to survive a deathcourse. The championship match would be held in the same room later that evening, with whoever survived the finals moving on to fight Wes in one last battle. Ash fully intended for his team to win both fights.

Ash knew the instant that he saw Paul that he didn't like him. It might have been the bored posture of the Weavile's body language, saying that he had fought and defeated countless Pokemon and didn't expect Ash to put up much of a challenge. It might have been the look of utter contempt in the frozen red chips of his eyes and the frown that looked to be permanently etched into his face. It might have been the fact that he said, "Pathetic," upon seeing Ash and "Worthless," when glancing behind the Lucario at Ash's friends (and Tiny), all sitting on a bench outside the ring. It might have been how an alarming number of fans, most of whom were female, were cheering Paul on despite his rather nightmarish reputation, clearly visible hatred for all living things—including the people screaming their adulations for him—and the hard look in his eyes and the lines of his body that told Ash he would murder every person in the room if he felt like it and would experience not the slightest bit of regret or, even more frightening, _enjoyment_ at the deed, as if hurting and possibly killing other Pokemon wasn't something he did for fun or sport but because it came as easily to him as breathing.

Or maybe because the instant their eyes locked, Ash found himself in the midst of another series of flashbacks.

"_Again!" the purple-haired boy shouted, goading his five bigger and much more powerful Pokemon to hit a tired and helpless Chimchar with their strongest attacks. The terrified fire monkey tried to defend himself with his Fire power, but the combined force of the other Pokemon's attacks easily overwhelmed his weak flame and struck him at full force, flinging him into a boulder strong enough to smash it along with one of his arms. "Pathetic," the boy said scornfully as the seriously injured Chimchar struggled back to his feet. "Again!" The other Pokemon, seeming to be about as concerned for the failing health of their target as their trainer—that is, not at all—growled their assent and prepared to launch their attacks again._

"_Paul, stop! What are you doing?!" Ash shouted as he ran into the clearing, followed by Pikachu. "Why are you attacking Chimchar? I thought it was one of your Pokemon!"_

"_It is," Paul said, not taking his eyes off the Chimchar as it panted from exhaustion and spat up blood. "But its weak, and this is the only way I can bring out its true power."_

"_What?! That's terrible!" the shocked Ash cried._

"_Pikapika!" Pikachu agreed._

_Paul snorted. "You have your method of training, and I have mine. Except that mine actually works, whereas all your coddling your Pokemon just makes them weak."_

"_They're _not_ weak and I'm _not_ coddling them!" Ash shouted angrily. "They're my friends, and I treat them as such!"_

"_Friends? That just makes them even more pathetic, but not as much as you for actually believing that," Paul sneered. He glared at his Pokemon in annoyance. "What are you waiting for? I told you to attack again!" They nodded and fired again._

"_NO!" Ash cried in horror as the blasts hit Chimchar, causing him to scream in agony as he fell to the ground, blood gushing from his many wounds. "No…why…"_

"_Hmmph. Another waste of time," Paul grunted in disappointment, holding up a Pokeball. A red beam of light shot from the button on its front and struck Chimchar, causing him to be converted into energy and transported within the sphere. He recalled his other Pokemon too, then turned his back to Ash and walked away._

"_P-Paul…wait," Ash stammered, stunned by the cruelty he had just witnessed. "The Pokemon Center's the other way!"_

"_I know," Paul said coolly._

"_But Chimchar-"_

"_If he's weak enough to go down so easily, he doesn't _deserve_ to be healed yet," Paul said. "Maybe this'll teach him to actually succeed next time. If not…" With those ominous words hanging in the air, he vanished into the forest._

_Ash fell to his knees and started shaking as a concerned Pikachu rushed over and started licking at his hands. "Pikapi…" the mouse whispered softly._

"_P-Paul," Ash growled, tears from Chimchar's torture rolling down his cheeks. "You'll pay for this…I promise, you'll pay! My _friends _and I will show you that _you're_ the pathetic one!"_

_Some time later…_

"_No…I…I don't understand…" Ash gasped as Monferno, his last Pokemon, collapsed in defeat. "How could I lose?!" He and his Pokemon had given it everything they had! Chimchar had even managed to evolve into Monferno as a way of mocking his old trainer! (He'd also wiggled his butt at Paul, and thrown flaming poo. Paul had not been amused.) They had tried their hardest, and were in the right, so how could they have possibly lost against someone as clearly in the wrong as Paul!?_

"_Hmmph. Still pathetic. You haven't changed at all," Paul said scornfully as he recalled his own Pokemon, Electabuzz. "As long as you still cling to something as stupid as 'friendship,' then you'll never win."_

"_Th-that's not true!" Ash protested._

"_Oh? Then how come I've gotten further than you ever did in the Indigo, Silver, _and_ Ever Grande league conferences? How come I always win every fight we have?" Paul asked._

"_What about-" Ash started._

"_Pokeringer doesn't count, that's not an actual fight, just some stupid sporting event," Paul said quickly._

"_Then why did you enter it?" Ash asked._

"_Unimportant. Just like your insistence on being 'friends' to your Pokemon and holding them back," Paul said, hurriedly changing the subject._

"_Unimportant?! There's nothing wrong with having friends!" Ash said angrily._

"_Then why, if you place so much faith in your Pokemon and in being friends with them, do you always lose to someone who has no friends and no need of them?" Paul asked._

"_That's…I…" Ash's shoulders slumped, unable to come up with an answer that didn't sound petty or like an empty platitude._

"_Yeah," Paul said as he turned away. "That's what I thought." He walked off, shaking off the congratulations of his brother, who had been refereeing the match, leaving Ash alone to his despair. (Well, his friends were standing by, looking as distraught as he was, but none of them were feeling half as bad as him.)_

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Paul asked.

Ash blinked, snapping out of his memories. "Huh?"

"You've been staring at me for the last minute," Paul said.

"Oh. Sorry," Ash apologized. Paul grunted but said nothing. Ash's eyes narrowed, warier of the Weavile than ever before, his distrust and misgivings sharpened by his flashback. Something told him that this Paul was indeed this universe's counterpart of the human Ash had known, and that the Sharp Claw Pokemon was just as cruel and heartless, if not more so, than the purple-haired trainer who called abusing his Pokemon the proper way to bring out their true power. And if that alone didn't make him dangerous enough, there was…something else, something _wrong_ with him that seemed oddly familiar, but Ash couldn't quite put a claw on what it was. Strange.

"Ladies and gentlemon, welcome to the finals of Mt. Battle's tenth anniversary tournament!" the MC announced, breaking Ash away from his musing. "The two competitors who will be battling in the ring today have both worked long and hard to make it here, and neither one will back down without a fight! In one corner we have the newcomer and rising star Gonzales, leader of the rather controversial Fighting Four! He and his teammates have done astonishingly well for people nobody's heard of before now, and quite a few experts think he might even have a chance at beating our champion Wes!" Several Pokemon in the crowd cheered. "And in the other corner, we have the veteran fighter and long-time participant of Mt. Battle, Paul Yami, who has tried for years to win the title of champ but always slipped up at the last minute! He has almost never been defeated, at least not without serious injury to his opponents, so Gonzales will have a tough time taking down this bad boy, since Paul probably _really_ wants that title and will do absolutely anything to get it! Hopefully, nothing against the rules, though considering his fighting style…" Paul's fans, of which--as mentioned previously--he had a ridiculous amount, cheered as well. "Both Pokemon are going to have to put everything on the line in this morning's match, since the winner will get a shot at Wes and the title of strongest fighter on Mt. Battle! But only one of them can win, so you can bet this'll be a very fierce battle to the finish, with no punches pulled or power being held back! There's no chance of these two bonding and becoming friends through combat—Paul's rather antisocial tendencies notwithstanding—just good old fashioned blood, violence, carnage, and lots of gore! This'll be a battle to remember, folks!" Everyone cheered at that.

"It certainly will be," Sasha said from the bench. Tiny sucked his pacifier in agreement.

"I think we should start thinking of a backup plan to get at the star on the champion's belt just in case Gonzales doesn't make it, yo," Leo said.

Pikachu gave him an incredulous look. "Do you have no faith in him whatsoever? The fight hasn't even started yet!"

"I know that, dawg, but…Gonzales may be a good fighter, but Paul's something else, yo! I think we should come up with a Plan B just in case things don't go swimmingly, ya know? It always pays to be prepared!"

"He has a point," Sasha said.

Pikachu frowned. "We'll see…"

"This battle will be one to tell the grandkids, folks…and it'll only be a prequel to the unparalleled display we'll receive in the championship bout!" the MC continued. "It's the stuff fighting fans have always dreamed of! But enough this jibber-jabber…the match will begin in 3…2…1…GO!"

"Finally," Paul said. And then he was suddenly in front of Ash, having crossed the several meters between them in less than a second. No, he hadn't teleported (it was impossible for his species, anyway), he'd just moved _really damn fast._ So fast, in fact, that the startled Ash was barely able to guard himself in time before Paul unleashed a blindingly fast barrage of claw thrusts so quick that even with his Aura-enhanced senses and reflexes Ash could barely see them as more than a white-tipped blur. The thrusts buffeted his crossed arms, slicing open dozens of small cuts on his forelimbs. Not happy with this situation, Ash decided to retaliate, channeling Aura into his arms and swinging them out in a blue blast that knocked Paul back as he formed a pair of claws of his own, Metal Claws in fact. He charged towards Paul as the Weavile flipped back onto his feet and swung his blades at the Sharp Claw Pokemon's face. Paul, looking bored, simply raised one arm and deflected each strike and slash with a single claw. It didn't look like he was even _trying_ to block him! Annoyed, Ash tried to shake Paul up by abruptly switching tactics, firing off a Force Palm with his free hand the instant his claws next connected with the Weavile's.

Paul reacted amazingly well to the attack, bending over so far backward that it was astonishing his spine didn't break, causing the blue Aura flames to pass over him. Placing his claws on the ground as he bent down, he swung his feet up towards Ash's chest. Rather than get caught by a claw kick, Ash sucked his gut in and grabbed Paul's ankles, intending to lift the Weavile bodily off the ground and throw him out of the ring. He didn't expect Paul to push off the ground and flip over, spinning Ash around and throwing _him_ instead! Paul dashed towards Ash, claws extended, but Ash arrested his fall by pressing his hands to the ground and blasting himself into the air with Force Palm. He then promptly charged up and flung an Aura Sphere at Paul. The Weavile quickly sidestepped the attack, but rather than simply letting it go past him, he extended a claw to the side as it flew by, catching it in one hand. He then let the momentum of the Sphere spin him about so that he could fling it right back at the surprised Ash. Ash didn't let his shock distract him, though, he quickly flipped over in the air so he could hit the Sphere with a rising kick and throw it right back at Paul again. Rather than catching it as he had before, Paul simply thrust a claw forward, piercing the Sphere as it shot towards him and causing it to blow up right in his face!

The crowd gasped as a cloud of smoke engulfed the Weavile. Ash landed, eyeing the cloud cautiously as the impressed MC said, "Wow, talk about unflinching courage! Paul didn't just take that attack head-on, but set it off himself! And how does he look after taking such a close-range blast?" The smoke cleared, revealing… "Yes, just as I thought, folks, he's completely okay! Not even a scratch!" the MC announced as Paul stepped forward, not looking the slightest bit scratched, scarred, burnt, or singed from the explosion, which by all rights should have done at least SOME damage, what with him having a super weakness to its elemental type. Ash growled, wondering what the heck was going on.

Paul snorted. "Pathetic. My balls are bigger than yours." He spread out his hands, and a pair of Shadow Balls formed, each of them MASSIVE and much larger than any Shadow Ball Ash had ever seen before.

"Whoa," said the alarmed Pikachu.

"Was the innuendo in that statement accidental or intentional, yo?" Leo asked.

Paul threw the Shadow Balls at Ash. Ash formed an Aura Sphere and flung it at the first Shadow Ball, causing it to explode spectacularly. As for the second, he ran right for it and leaped high into the air before it could hit him. He landed on top of it, but just for a split second, then kicked off before it exploded, the blast flinging him even higher into the air, so high he almost brushed the rafters—was there someone up there watching?—before beginning his descent back towards the ring, channeling so much Aura into his fists that they were engulfed in big blue spheres of power. Unimpressed, Paul leaped up to meet Ash, claws glowing as well as he prepared to use Ice Punch. The two collided in midair, Aura-infused punch clashing with Ice Punch and creating an explosion of blue fire and ice that shook the arena and sent both fighters flying. Ash hit the ground on his back, but used the momentum to roll back onto his feet and minimize the damage. Paul, on the other hand, landed neatly on his feet. The Weavile lunged forward, using that frightening speed of his to close the distance between him and Ash again in mere milliseconds. Rather than dodging or blocking the incoming strike, Ash waited, hoping his reflexes were up to this, as Paul approached…and then, when the Weavile's claw was just inches from his neck, one of Ash's hands shot forward at Paul's face. The Weavile's free claw shot forward as well, piercing Ash's hand and partially coming out the other side, but Ash's other hand bypassed that one and grabbed Paul's face, firing a point-blank Force Palm. The blast knocked Paul away from Ash, yanking his claw out of Ash's other hand in the process and causing blood to spurt everywhere from the hole and stain some of his fur red. The Weavile hit the ground, bounced a few times, and landed hard on his back. Smoke rose from his face as his limbs twitched and went still. As Paul's fangirls screamed in horror, Ash panted and put his uninjured hand over the one with the hole in it, using a new trick he had learned in his book to cauterize the wound with Aura so it would stop bleeding and keep from getting infected. There was still a rather large hole in it that had almost torn off his knuckle spike, but he'd have to wait for a round with Nurse Joy to get it fixed. Was that it? Had he won?

"Huh. That wasn't nearly as bad as you made it sound, King K," Pikachu commented.

"No way, man! This isn't over yet! I've seen it before…Paul will be up any minute now!" Leo asserted.

"Even if he is, he'll surely be damaged from that last attack," Sasha said.

Leo shook his head anxiously. "You don't know Paul…"

The MC seemed to be of a similar opinion. "Don't worry, folks, I've seen Paul take harder blows than that and walk away unharmed! He should be getting up any minute now…yep, there he is, I told you he was okay!" he said as Paul, with a grunt, got back to his feet, his face still smoking.

Ash growled, but was not particularly surprised, he hadn't really thought it would be over that easily. Even so, he was still shocked when Paul waved the remaining smoke from his head away…to reveal that his face looked exactly the same as before, not even remotely burned or singed or damaged in any way from the Force Palm! "No way…"

"See? I told you! Didn't I tell you?!" Leo shouted.

"That was a direct hit to the face! How's he shaking it off so easily!?" Pikachu asked. "The Bronzong Bros. I could understand surviving that, but they were Steel types with super-hard metal bodies and an almost invincible defense, so what's this guy's excuse?!"

"This does not bode well…" Sasha murmured. Tiny sucked on his pacifier anxiously.

"Nice try. I almost felt that," Paul said. "I expected better from a Lucario. Aren't you guys supposed to be master warriors or something?"

Ash bristled. "You!"

Paul made an expression that on anyone else's face could have been considered a smirk. "Hmmph." He suddenly vanished, his body seeming to flicker out of existence.

Ash started. "What…where did he go?!"

"That's a good question, folks. Does anyone see Paul?" the MC yelled.

"I don't suppose it's too much to hope that he decided to leave for some reason?" Pikachu asked.

"No doubt," Leo said. "He's gotta be there somewhere!"

"But where could he be hiding?" Sasha wondered. "The ring is wide open and totally flat, he's not allowed to set foot or claw anywhere outside of it, and Weavile can't turn invisible…so where is he?"

Tiny's pacifier froze mid-suck as he got a premonition. He stared at Ash's shadow…

Which abruptly rippled as Paul jumped out of it right behind Ash, causing everyone to gasp in disbelief. Ash, his instincts as well as the crowd's reactions telling him Paul was right behind him, quickly thrust his elbow back to try and get his opponent in the face.

What he got instead was much worse. Shifting his head to the side to dodge the blow, Paul swung a claw up…

And cut off Ash's arm at the elbow.

Ash screamed in agony—_why oh why did this feel so familiar?--_blood gushing from his arm as the severed part of it fell to the ground. The crowd gasped, and Paul's fangirls whooped. "Now that's what I'm talking about!" the MC cried viciously.

"GONZALES!" Ash's friends shouted. Tiny sucked on his pacifier anxiously.

"Holy—did you see that?! That move he used to get behind Ash?! Tell me that wasn't what I thought it was?!" Leo yelled.

"That was…the same trick the ninja Buneary used on me yesterday!" Pikachu realized. "But how does he know it?"

"Perhaps…they are connected?" Sasha suggested.

"Wouldn't surprise me. That looked like a pretty bad blow…good thing it's just a flesh wound, yo," Leo said.

As Ash staggered away, gasping in pain and clutching what was left of his arm, Paul grabbed the severed hand and limb, straightened it out, froze it solid, then hurled it at Ash like a javelin using Fling. Gritting his teeth against the pain, Ash raised his remaining hand, summoning—with some effort—a Bone Rush staff and swinging it about to deflect his weaponized arm. He thrust the staff forward at Paul, hot—or cold?—on the missile's heel, but Paul jumped over the blow, landed on the staff, and actually ran up its length towards Ash, ignoring the fact that it was made of energy and really thin and what he was doing _shouldn't have been possible._ Ash quickly dissipated the bone and tried to grab Paul by the ankle, but the Weavile lashed out with a clawed kick that severed one of Ash's remaining digits at the same time he thrust one of his claws forward at Ash's face. Ash tilted his head to the side, but not fast enough to stop Paul from carving open the left side of his face, _ripping out his eye in the process._ Ash screamed and collapsed to his knees, blood flowing heavily from the many gashes in his face, including a rather large hole that tore open his cheek and most of his mouth and lips, exposing far too much of his teeth and jaw structure than anyone wanted to see. Paul rather calmly licked the blood off his claws and swallowed the eye he had removed.

There were many cries of horror and sounds of vomiting from the audience, along with many bloodthirsty cheers from Paul's fans. Tiny pulled out his pacifier and threw up. "Oh…Ash…" Pikachu whispered in horror, too stricken to use his brother's false name.

"I told you Paul was something else…" Leo said mournfully.

"He is a monster," Sasha said, plain and simple.

"Uh, wow…that was even a little too grisly for me," the MC admitted. "I think I threw up a little in my mouth back there…but it's perfectly legal. I think. And with his trademark brutality, it seems as if Paul has secured the match, because I really can't see how Gonzales can possibly get back up after…wait, what's this?!"

As everyone watched in astonishment, Ash clenched his teeth and squeezed his remaining eye shut, digging his fingers into the ground as his Aura flared up and engulfed his body in blue fire. His gaping wounds didn't quite mend themselves, but they became cauterized and stopped bleeding. There wasn't really anything he could do for his mutilated face, though. He nearly passed out from the effort required to use his Aura this way, but rather than falling, he managed to stagger back to his feet, wobbling a little as he faced Paul. "This…this isn't over," he hissed as he clenched his fist, lisping somewhat due to the large hole in the side of his mouth.

"…WOW. That's amazing," said the awestruck MC. "How's he getting up after that?!"

"Because my brother never gives up," Pikachu said quietly, a proud look on his face.

"…Most Pokemon would have just laid down and given up after that. I'm not sure whether your refusal to give in means you're even more pathetic than I thought…or that I've underestimated you," Paul said after a moment.

"Let's go with the second one," Ash said with a rather eerie grin, again due to the hole in the side of his mouth that exposed most of his teeth and gums. "We gonna do this?"

"Sure," Paul said. He pointed over Ash's shoulder. "Oh, and look over there."

Blinking, Ash glanced where Paul was indicating in puzzlement. "Huh? Why, what-" He gurgled and cut off mid-sentence as Paul, taking advantage of his weakness and lowered guard, drove his claw up to the wrist in Ash's gut. He withdrew his arm, his white claws covered with dripping blood, and watched impassively as Ash fell to his knees again, gasping and coughing up blood as he clutched the wound in his chest. It didn't really help much, though, since he still had a rather large hole in his paw and a missing finger, allowing for even more blood, bodily fluids, and parts of his intestines to slip out.

The audience groaned in either pleasure, dismay, or disgust. "Oh, I can't believe he fell for that one, folks! Oldest trick in the book!" the MC wailed.

"I don't believe this! That has to be one of the dirtiest things I've ever seen! They're gonna allow that?!" the incredulous Pikachu cried.

"Unfortunately. It's totally legal, that was a Faint Attack," Leo said.

Sasha frowned. "I'm pretty sure that isn't how Faint Attack usually works."

"It is when Paul uses it," Leo said deadpan.

"Are you going to stay down now?" Paul asked Ash emotionlessly.

"No…I…" Ash gasped, trying to stand back up while keeping all his organs from sliding out through the hole in his stomach.

"Hmmph. Pokemon like you are too dumb to live," Paul said coldly. He conjured a light blue Ice Shard and drove it through Ash's knee, causing the Lucario to cry out again and fall back to the ground. "Too bad I'm not allowed to kill anything in the ring. The world is a better place without weaklings."

Paul's fans cheered wildly at this. Pikachu stared at them incredulously. "He's as good as calling them and everyone who isn't him scum, and they _applaud _him for it?!"

"'Pokemon are stupid.' One of the first laws of Wizardry. And life," Leo said sadly.

"That's not one of Arceus' Rules," Pikachu said.

"Well, it should be, yo," Leo said. "Considering it applies to enough people."

"I'm going to take out your other eye, now," Paul said, drawing back his claw. "That should teach you a lesson." He thrust his arm forward…

Only for it to be intercepted, much to his surprise, by Ash's paw. Or rather, by the hole in Ash's paw that he had made previously. Even with the wound cauterized, his claw fit almost perfectly, and got caught in the Lucario's grip. This startled him long enough for a snarling Ash to lunge forward, smashing his skull into Paul's face, snapping the Weavile's head back and breaking his nose. The force of the blow flung Paul back and yanked his claw out of Ash's paw, causing the wound to bleed anew, but Ash ignored it easily, considering how much else of him hurt. Staggering to his feet, blood flowing from his paw and knee (His stomach wound had been partially closed up, thanks to his focusing Aura into it while Paul was looming over him. It was incredible the effort hadn't knocked him out or outright killed him.), Ash limped forward, grabbing his still-frozen severed arm off the ground and swinging it at Paul's head with all the remaining force left in his body before the Weavile could recover. One of Paul's arms shot up to block the strike, causing the frozen arm to shatter against his claw, but the resulting flurry of ice shards and needles which struck his face blinded him just long enough for Ash to use the momentum from his swing to pivot on his bad leg—sending a jolt of pain up through his body from the Ice Shard still imbedded in his knee—and bring up his good leg in a kick that hit Paul's chin so hard that Ash could have sworn he heard and felt something crack other than some of his toes.

Knocked off his feet by the kick, Paul flew through the air and hit the ground in a rather contorted heap, face pressed to the ground. Ash lost his balance and toppled over as well, his bad leg giving out from all the pressure he'd put on it. He panted and grabbed the wound on his chest, which was starting to open up again—he hadn't healed it, just used his Aura to try and contain it a little—amazed by what he had just done, and more than a little worried by how unnaturally still Paul looked as he lay there. Was he dead? Had that crack he had heard been the Weavile's neck breaking? Ash wasn't sure if he'd actually regret the Sharp Claw's death, but if he _had_ killed Paul, then Team Aurabolt's chances of fighting Wes were nil.

Fortunately—or unfortunately, depending on how you looked at it—Paul managed to get back to his feet, grunting and shaking his head, some of his vertebrae making rather loud cracks as he snapped them back into place. "Unngh," he grunted, looking more annoyed than actually hurt. "Rrr…"

Paul's fans cheered in relief, while Ash's fans—and friends—groaned. "Wow! What a double comeback, folks! First Gonzales overcomes extreme adversity to strike a severe blow against Paul…only for Paul to get back up again, looking a little worse for wear! I tell ya, these two are made of iron! Then again, Gonzales _is_ a Steel type…but on the other hand, he seems to be the one who's taken the Luxray's share of the beatings in this match!" Ash frowned, noticing that as well. There was something odd, too…Paul's broken nose and all the other bruises, scrapes, and other broken parts he should have gotten from that kick and the ensuing tumble were conspicuously absent, even the small cuts he was sure he had seen a minute ago on Paul's face caused by the shards from the shattered arm. What was going on here?

Paul threw Ash a look that told him that the Weavile was _really_ annoyed now. "I'm really annoyed now," Paul said, confirming this. He vanished again.

Knowing he only had seconds, Ash quickly pressed his hand to the ground and, with some effort, managed to gather the strength necessary to use Force Palm, blasting himself into the air. Seeing his shadow rippling as it diminished beneath him, he quickly generated a weak Aura Sphere one-handed (not like he had any choice) and threw it at the darkness. The energy ball struck Paul just as he emerged from the shadow, startling him and allowing Ash to follow up his latest attack with a Flash Cannon. However, Paul recovered far too quickly and sidestepped out of the way of the somewhat sickly energy beam before leaping into the air after Ash.

Trying to buy himself some time, Ash used Double Team to create numerous doubles of himself in an attempt to distract Paul. Unfazed, Paul used Double Team himself to create an equal number of doubles, and all of them attacked the Ashes at once. Most of the copies disappeared on contact with each other, but one Ash and one Paul remained (though neither was close to each other), something the Weavile intended to remedy by gliding over and hitting Ash with a False Swipe. Ash was unable to get out of the way in time—what with being in midair and all, and not exactly in the best of conditions—so was unable to stop Paul from shooting past him, slicing his side open in the process. Ash stifled a cry of pain as he plummeted to the ground, blood spraying from the gash Paul had opened. Paul landed nearby and began walking towards him, intending to finish him off once and for all. Running out of options, Ash opened his mouth and screamed out a Metal Sound. If the attack deterred Paul in the least, the Weavile didn't show it. "I've heard worse," he said.

Ash formed an Aura Sphere and flung it at Paul as the Weavile slowly approached, but Paul casually deflected it with a backhand. Ash formed another one, but Paul deflected that too. Ash tried to form one more, putting every last drop of energy he had left into the sphere…and gaped as it fizzled out and vanished in his palm. "No…" he whispered.

Paul smirked, a savage look in his eyes. "Excellent."

"Whoops! This doesn't look good for Gonzales, folks! With all the damage he's taken and all the energy he's expended trying to last this long, he doesn't have anything left! If Paul hits him now—and he probably will—it's pretty much curtains for the brave Lucario!" the MC announced, eliciting moans from Ash's fans and cheers from Paul's.

"He's all out of juice…" Leo observed. "Aw man…there's nothing else he can do. He's screwed, yo."

"No…it can't end like this, can it?" Pikachu asked desperately. "To have made it this far…only for our quest to end at the claws of a sadistic nigh-undefeatable cat…weasel…thing…what kind of animal is a Weavile, anyway?"

Sasha shrugged. "I do not know…but if this is the end, at least Gonzales gave it his best effort and refused to stand down, no matter what happened. There is no shame in that."

"Other than the fact that the world might be screwed if we can't find the star thing at this tournament, since without it we have a Snowver's chance in Hell of discovering where the next Macguffin is, yo," Leo pointed out. "And it'll be Gonzales's fault for losing here and not making it to the championship bout, fo'sure."

"No it won't!" Pikachu said angrily.

"But that's how he'll see it, yo," Leo pointed out, and Pikachu was forced to admit he might be correct in that assessment.

Tiny sucked on his pacifier rapidly, worry and fear pulsating from him to Ash through their bond. Ash was in too much pain to respond at that moment, and it didn't help that he felt about the same, what with Paul inexorably stalking towards him, purposefully drawing out the end of their fight just to see Ash's fear grow. His mind raced as he tried to think of something, anything he could do to save himself, but always came up empty. He was completely spent. He had virtually no energy left in his body, and it was amazing he hadn't passed out a while ago. He could only chalk it up to his sheer determination and will to succeed that he was even still conscious, but he didn't think that was going to last for much longer. Paul was going to take him down any second now, and his body was too hurt and exhausted for him to even limp or crawl away from the Weavile. There was absolutely nothing he could do. This really did seem to be the end. _Why?_ He lamented. _Why can I never beat Paul, any Paul, no matter how hard I try? Is everything I've always believed in—friendship, honor, fighting for a good cause and helping others—really nothing when faced with someone who's just so much stronger than you in every way?_

"I'm going to make this short and unpleasant," Paul said coolly, stopping in his tracks a couple of yards away from Ash. "Since I think this battle's gone on long enough already, and I don't really feel like dismembering you completely like I probably should." He formed a purple ball between his claws. "Maybe this'll teach you not to try and fight against those who are better than you. The weak have no place in this world." His fangirls, disgustingly, cheered at this.

Paul fired a Dark Pulse, sending purple and black circles flying towards Ash in a beam-like blast. Ash's eye widened in horror as the attack he hated most hurtled at him, and his friends and everyone else in the room looked on, knowing with a sick sense of dread that this was the end…

When suddenly, a white blur dropped down from the ceiling and interposed itself between Ash and the Dark Pulse, using its body as a shield and keeping the blast from striking Ash. The Pulse struck the figure, causing waves of dark energy to rock the arena, but the Pokemon stood strong, keeping the beam at bay with crossed claws and a sword made of ice. Everyone gasped in astonishment. "Wh-what's this?! Someone's interfering in the match?! That's not supposed to happen!" the MC cried. "Again, I mean!"

"No way… is that…" Pikachu gasped.

"What's _she_ doing here?!" the incredulous Sasha cried.

"And what's she wearing?" Leo wondered.

"It's…you!" Ash cried in amazement. "Wh-why are you here?!"

The figure did not answer him, mainly because she could not. You know, what with being the mute ninja Buneary they'd run into so many times and all. She had abandoned her usual black garb for identical gear as white as snow—including the feathers and visible fur--making her look even fiercer than ever when combined with her angry red eyes. She probably would not have answered Ash even if she could have, for all her attention was focused on Paul, crimson eyes burning with sheer hatred.

Paul's own eyes widened in disbelief even as he kept firing his Dark Pulse at Ash and the figure protecting him. "No…you…you're still alive?!"

Rather than answering—even if she could have—the Buneary narrowed her eyes at Paul, then charged towards him, easily pushing back against the Dark Pulse beam by using one claw to shield herself while the other held her blade ready. Alarmed, Paul poured more power into the Pulse, but the Buneary sliced like it through water…

And sliced through him too, removing his head from his shoulders as she ran past. The crowd gasped in horror and Paul's fangirls screamed as the Weavile's head and body parted ways, blood gushing out in copious amounts as both fell to the floor. Ash's jaw dropped. "Whoa…"

"Did that just happen?! That did not just happen?!" the shocked MC screamed. "Paul Yami is dead! PAUL YAMI IS DEAD! I can't believe this is happening! It's like the Fighting Four are cursed or something, first they have that match where those idiots came in and covered the arena with darkness, and now a frigging NINJA shows up and decapitates one of our best fighters! What the Abyss is going on here?!"

"Holy fuck, yo," said a stunned Leo. "Plus, did your girlfriend just decapitate Paul?!"

"She's not my girlfriend," Pikachu replied automatically. A small, private part of him admitted that he wouldn't mind being the mate of a womon who could cut through flesh as cleanly as that and had spared his brother more pain by killing that asshole Paul. Another part of him pointed out that the fact that she was clearly a callous killer sort of disqualified her from being a prospective wife, not to mention that it would prove everyone who'd been nagging him about he and the Buneary being a couple right. The first part said that they could probably work around that, and who cared if it proved the others right, what she had just done was kind of hot and had saved Ash, which made her at least somewhat good in his eyes. The rest of him yelled at those parts to stop arguing, he was trying to figure out what the hell was going on. And that the ninja was never going to be his girlfriend, not at all, no way, never. Both small parts pointed out that Ash said the same thing all the time, so he bopped them on the heads. Even though they didn't have any heads. Yeah.

"Uh…does this mean Gonzales wins?" Sasha asked uncertainly.

"Well, Gonzales is still unconscious, whereas Paul is dead, which would normally be a bad thing, except that someone else did it, so he's in the clear, but since there was interference in the match…I honestly have no clue, yo," Leo admitted. Tiny sucked on his pacifier and said nothing.

"But…why would she kill Paul?!" Pikachu asked. "I mean, he's a jerk, but there's no reason for her to kill him…" His eyes widened. "Unless…"

"Unless he was her quarry?" Sasha finished.

"But she said her guy was immortal," Leo said. "And he sure doesn't look immortal right now, dawg."

"That would probably be because most people die when their heads get cut off," Pikachu said, knowing from experience. "He could have been immortal before she did that."

"How do you figure that, brah?" Leo asked.

"It would certainly explain how he's managed to survive all of Ash's attacks, as well as build up such a fearsome reputation and keep from being defeated easily in battle, would it not?" Sasha said.

Leo blinked. "Whoa…I can't believe I didn't think of that! It's so obvious, fo'sure!"

"Whatever the secret to Paul's strength and possible immortality, it doesn't matter now since he's dead," Pikachu said. "Let's just hope this doesn't disqualify Gonzales."

However, it quickly became clear that Paul was _not_ dead when abruptly the blood spilling from his neck and coating the floor paused, then abruptly reversed and flowed back into his body. As everyone watched in astonishment, the body then rose back to its feet and started walking over to its head. "ZOMBIE! ZOMBIE!" the MC screamed.

"What the…what is this?!" Ash cried.

"Sweet Arceus in the Celestial Heavens," Pikachu swore, making the sign of the Wheel.

"Well, looks like he's still immortal, then," Leo said. "And the kind of immortal that regenerates from incredibly fatal wounds, too, which, like you said earlier, would explain his legendary toughness and difficulty to defeat in battle. That's a pain."

"I've never seen anything like this before…" whispered an amazed Sasha.

"I have," Leo said. "But only on television. Yo." Tiny sucked rapidly on his pacifier.

The headless body of Paul picked up its skull and placed it back on its shoulders. Its severed flesh sewed itself back together, and within seconds it was impossible to tell that the cranium had ever been taken off at all. Paul cracked his neck a few times, then turned to face the ninja Buneary, who did not look particularly surprised that he wasn't dead. "That hurt," he said flatly.

_Good,_ she tapped against her sword.

"What, may I ask, was the point of that? You should have remembered from our last fight that something like that can't kill me. _Nothing_ can," Paul growled.

_No,_ the Buneary clicked, eyes narrowed. _But it felt _really _good._

Paul snorted. "Hmmph. I guess you didn't learn from last time, did you? Oh well. I suppose it could be fun killing you twice. And this time I'll make sure you stay dead."

_Isn't that my line?_ She asked innocently.

Paul almost smiled. It was hard to tell. "You shouldn't have worn white. It'll look so much worse once it's covered with your blood. The red will never come out."

_The blood will all be yours. I will avenge the lives of our clan. You will face justice for what you have done,_ the ninja said.

"You said that last time, too," Paul said boredly. He shifted into a combat stance. "But fine. You've pretty much ruined any chance of my competing in a professional tournament again by exposing my true nature on global television, so I'm going to need to find some other way to satisfy my inner bloodlust. Killing you and everyone in this room should be a good start. Let's do this."

_Let's,_ the ninja agreed. She stood stock-straight, reversing her grip on her sword, and made a series of strange hand motions. Paul matched her move for move. With a cry, they both thrust their arms out to the sides, and waves of cold air burst from their forms. The temperature in the room dropped several degrees, and ice radiated out from their feet to cover the whole stage. The ice cracked, and several immense icicle spikes erupted from the ground, tearing the stage apart and turning it from a flat platform to a series of jagged frozen hills. There was a gust of freezing wind, and suddenly snow and hail started raining down on the altered arena, covering the ground in damp white stuff. Pillars of cold wind roared out from Paul and the ninja and smashed through the ceiling as the snow fell all around them, and suddenly gigantic ice spikes ripped out of the ground surrounding the ring, rising and rising until they formed a jagged crystalline wall separating the strange duo—and Ash, who had been unlucky enough to get stuck inside—from the rest of the room.

There was a long, stunned silence as snow continued to fall. "Okay, what the _fuck?"_ the MC shouted finally.

"Does anyone have any idea what just happened?" asked a confused Pikachu.

"No," said Sasha.

"Yes," said Leo.

"Really?" Pikachu asked. "Other than the parts we already know or suspect, I mean?"

Leo paused. "Well…uh, no, I guess not."

"Wasn't Gonzales still in there?" Sasha asked.

Pikachu paled. "Oh crap."

"How long do you think he'll last in there with those two going at it and his injuries?" Leo asked anxiously.

Tiny sucked his pacifier in worry

…

Ash was cold. This was understandable, seeing as how Paul and the Buneary had transformed the ring into a frozen tundra and seemed to have forgotten that they had trapped him in there with them. He shivered and panted, his breath forming clouds before his eye as he wrapped his sole arm around himself and tried to keep any of his wounds from bleeding again. He was usually resistant to the cold due to his Steel-type, and it wasn't quite as cold as it had been when he had been fighting Bellum, but he hadn't been in quite as critical a condition then as he was now, so his usual immunity wasn't working and he was finding it difficult to stay conscious. He struggled to keep his eye open, knowing that if he passed out now, there was a good chance he would never wake up.

His two companions in this icy waste stood a few feet ahead of him, conversing tersely. "So that's why you're wearing white," Paul noted, seeing that with her new outfit, the ninja Buneary blended in very well to the frozen landscape surrounding them. "Clever. Unfortunately, soon it'll be too stained with blood to hide you effectively."

_Like I said before, the blood will all be yours,_ the ninja replied. She slashed her sword through the air. _Show me if you've changed at all since the last fight, or if you've allowed your immortality to soften you up._

"I would kill anyone else for making an insult like that," Paul said. He thought about that for a moment. "Actually, I'll kill you anyway."

_You won't kill anyone ever again,_ the Buneary promised. Their bodies tensed…

And suddenly, they vanished. Ash blinked. Where had they gone?

Suddenly, sparks flew in the air some distance away, and he thought he caught a glimpse or a flicker of the Weavile and Buneary clashing claws and blades for a split second before they vanished again. They reappeared elsewhere, clashed again, and vanished once more, again in the breadth of a heartbeat. Ash watched in amazement as they darted all over the ring at speeds that made them almost invisible, slowing down into visibility only long enough to try and hit each other before vanishing to try again somewhere else. Even with his Aura-enhanced senses he was having trouble tracking them when they weren't striking each other's weapons hard enough to throw up sparks, but the loss of one eye and his generally poor condition might have had something to do with that. How were they moving so quickly? Was it that strange shadow-shifting ability both of them seemed to possess, or something else entirely?

And how could both of them do that, anyway? It was apparent that they knew each other and had fought before. Paul was obviously the immortal that the ninja wished to take her vengeance on, but from the somewhat conversational tone Paul had talked to her and from the way they moved and fought before his eyes, the almost intimate familiarity they had with each other's moves as they countered and deflected and dodged each blow and strike and slash with nearly automatic instinctual precision, made him think that they had known and fought each other for a very long time. Once again, he wondered just who the mysterious ninja was…and who the heck Paul was, to be immortal, her nemesis, and possibly something more?

After a rather large flash of sparks and ringing clash of claws, the two combatants slowed down enough to be visible again as they flipped back from their latest deadlock and landed on the ground, facing each other. The Buneary abruptly started running sideways into the frozen hills, and Paul followed her, easily matching her speed as he dashed alongside her. The ninja generated a pawful of ice kunai, which she flung at Paul, only for the Weavile to counter with his own brand of ice projectiles, shuriken and Ice Shards. She cupped her paws together and fired a close-range Ice Beam at Paul, which he countered with Dark Pulse, the two beams exploding and engulfing them in a cloud of smoke. A moment later, however, they both ran out of the smog and continued at their original pace, neither looking particularly winded by getting caught in the blast. They parted briefly to run around a large heap of snow that was in their path…

But when Paul got to the other side, the ninja was nowhere to be seen. He frowned and glanced around, squinting to try and spot the camouflaged rabbit in the swirling snow. "Where did she…"

He paused, feeling a shift in air currents, and jumped out of the way just as the ninja came screaming down at him from high above, using the momentum from her Bounce to smash into the ground hard enough to knock Paul off his feet, throw up snow all around, and leave a deep crater where she had landed. She hopped out of the crater and charged at Paul as he got back to his feet, lowering her head and thrusting her ears forward one at a time with Dizzy Punch. Paul hopped back and dodged and weaved as the Buneary kept coming at him, relentlessly throwing one punch after another. He noted, with some interest, that she had tied blades to the tips of her ears both to make her punches more dangerous and also to make it harder for him to simply cut the offending extremities off. He clenched one of his claws into a fist and flung it forward at the same time the Buneary thrust out one of her ears, her Dizzy Punch colliding with an Ice Punch, the cold energy surrounding his claw preventing him from getting cut by the blade on the tip of her ear and subsequently shattering said blade. The ninja flinched, reflexively drawing both ears back tightly to her head, and Paul thrust an arm forward with Crush Claw to, as the name of the attack implied, crush her skull in.

Rather than simply ducking, the ninja bent backwards so the claw thrust shot over her chest, cutting through some of the white wrappings over her torso and exposing a little of her brown fur. She flipped her legs up as she kept bending over, pressing her feet into Paul's chest and pushing off with Bounce, the immense strength in her hindlimbs sending Paul flying through the air and causing him to get impaled on a rather sharp ice spike. Unfortunately, this was only a minor inconvenience to the Weavile, but as he started pulling himself off the ninja charged towards him, her whole body glowing red with rage as she used Frustration, channeling all her hatred towards Paul into a single overwhelmingly powerful attack. Recognizing the strength of the attack—it wouldn't, _couldn't,_ kill him, but it would certainly hurt—almost considered dodging, but then came up with a better idea as he managed to pull himself off the spike and fall to the ground, the hole in his chest swiftly healing itself up. He stood in place, allowing the Buneary to slam right into him with enough force to snap his legs off at the ankles and crush his rib cage and dislocate both his arms…

And he immediately retaliated with Revenge, striking back at her with twice the power she had just used on him. The ninja's hatred for Paul was shocking in its depths, so it was understandable that _doubling_ the strength of an attack fueled by that much hatred would be…well, unimaginably powerful, and very painful for the recipient. If it weren't for the fact that her vocal cords had been cut at birth, the ninja probably would have screamed so loudly that even Tiny would have been humbled by her volume and lung strength, and the ice walls along with the eardrums of everyone in the arena would have shattered. The force of the attack flung her back, causing her to land in the snow and plow a long trench in the ground as she slid away from Paul until crashing into a rather large heap of ice, causing it to collapse on top of her and bury her in an icy tomb. Grinning as his bones mended themselves, Paul crawled over to his feet and reattached them to his legs, waiting for the ninja to recover so that they could continue their battle. He knew that his foe was not beaten so easily, but he was confident that she would be much less of a problem after being hit by an attack of that magnitude. He had felt her use Endure to survive the blow, but most Pokemon only used that move in desperation, since any attack that was strong enough to force them to use it still left them in pretty bad shape once it was over, so Paul was fairly certain he could finish her easily.

He was wrong. The pile of rubble exploded, and the ninja leaped out and landed heavily on the ground nearby, panting for breath and looking a little worn out, but still going strong. Her outfit hadn't even been significantly damaged! Needless to say, Paul was rather surprised. "What…how did you…"

_I have lived with my hate ever since the day of your betrayal,_ the ninja said coldly. _I have nurtured it at my bosom as if it were my own child, even as it burned so strongly within me that it destroyed everything I once was and left me a hollow shell that lives only for revenge, just as the fire you caused on that dark day destroyed my face. After having hatred so strong within me for this long, eating me from within, do you really think it can hurt me more than it already has?_

"Hmmph. Whiner," Paul grunted.

_That's all you can say? Then again, I shouldn't be surprised. You lost the ability to feel empathy for others a long time ago,_ the ninja said.

"So have you," Paul noted. "Otherwise, you wouldn't have lasted this long against me."

_I don't care what I turn into, so long as I kill you,_ the ninja said.

"You do remember that I always beat you at everything, don't you?" Paul reminded her.

_There's a first time for everything,_ the ninja replied. She crouched to the ground and used Bounce, soaring high into the air, summoning an ice sword and raising it above her head.

Paul turned and ran for one of the ice spires forming the wall surrounding the ring and ran up its side, leaping off halfway and sailing towards the ninja, claws glowing purple as he prepared to use Night Slash. The arcs of ther jumps intersected, and sword and claws clashed in a blinding flash of light. There was a shattering noise, and then they both landed on the ground, backs to each other and separated by several dozen meters. The Buneary winced and clutched her chest as she dropped her broken sword, blood soaking up from the long gashes Paul had sliced in her side. The Weavile grinned and licked her blood off his claws…and then, much to his surprise, his body split in half right down the middle, blood and organs gushing all over the place as the two halves fell to the ground.

The ninja wrapped some of her loose and cut white bands over her wound to staunch the bleeding, then turned and ran towards Paul as he literally pulled his split body back together. Growling in frustration, he made a series of hand motions, causing his form to blur and suddenly split apart, causing several dozen identical Weaviles to appear. The ninja skidded to a stop and made the same series of hand motions as the horde of Pauls ran towards her, causing her form to blur as well and generate a legion of white-clad Buneary. The two armies charged towards each other and clashed, claws and blades swinging through the air as an amazed Ash watched on from atop a nearby hill, having climbed there to observe the fight (and also so he didn't die of exhaustion or hypothermia). Were the battling Weaviles and Bunearies below him Double Team illusions, Substitutes, or something else entirely? And was there any way for him to learn that move, because he thought it looked kind of cool! Plus, it would be handy when there were lots of chores that needed to be done around the house. Hadn't his book mentioned a technique that could use Aura to create a number of powerful, semi-intelligent clones that did your bidding and were also a literal extension of oneself? He'd have to get around to learning that one.

One by one the white and black figures fell, their bodies evaporating into ether as their energy ran out. Only two Pokemon remained solid and alive as their comrades disintegrated, and it was inevitable that the true Paul and ninja would clash once again. Claws and blades flashed out and struck each other again and again, the two fighters locked in heated combat. (Or was it frozen combat, since they were surrounded by ice and snow?) Paul flipped backwards to avoid a flurry of slashes from the ninja, and lunged forward in a Giga Impact the second he touched the ground. The ninja didn't try to dodge the attack, instead lashing out with a Jump Kick that smashed through Paul's energy shell and sent him flying. It also nearly broke her foot, but these things happened in battle. She ran after him along the ground, flinging ice kunai at him as he fell. He twirled around, using his spinning claws to deflect the knives, then summoned an Icy Wind to him that caused him to spin even faster and enveloped him in a cocoon of frigid air. He touched down and surged towards the ninja in a tornado of blades and ice. She froze the tornado solid with Ice Beam and then shattered it with her Dizzy Punch. Paul dodged the punches and flying chunks of ice and unleashed a Blizzard, causing the snow and hail falling around them to grow worse and turn visibility to almost zero. Ash shivered, feeling colder than ever, and used Foresight to see through the whirling snow and fog around him while he tried to muster enough Aura to heat himself up. He failed in the latter, but at least he was able to see the two keep fighting. Apparently they were using Foresight as well to see each other. Their fierce battle continued, unhindered by the storm.

Abruptly, both of them vanished from his sight, and he assumed they were either doing their super-speed fighting again or were using that shadow trick. It proved to be the latter when they abruptly emerged from his own shadow, tumbling about while punching and kicking and biting each other, causing Ash to fall over and roll down the slope of the hill, picking up a coating of snow and causing the few parts of him that weren't hurting to ache rather painfully. "Hey! There was no call for that!" he shouted angrily up at the wrestling pair, who were too focused on each other to pay any attention to him. "I guess neither of them know anything about manners…" he growled. Oh well, at least the sudden shock had snapped him out of the numbing complacency the cold had been bringing over him. Now he wouldn't pass out and die for…another few minutes.

As the ninja pinned Paul underneath her, claws driven through his ankles and wrists to keep him from using them against her, Paul snarled and lunged upward, trying to bite off her face. She responded with a headbutt to the face, breaking his nose and a few teeth. He growled and suddenly sank into the ground, vanishing into her shadow. Realizing he would reappear in mere seconds, she quickly Bounced into the air and fired an Ice Beam straight down at the ground, striking and freezing Paul the instant he emerged from her reduced shadow. She shot downward feet-first, intending to shatter him with a kick, but he smashed his way free from the ice before she could reach him and fired a Dark Pulse. She was too close to evade the blast, and got hit full-on by the dark energy, the power of the beam flinging her off into the distance. Positive that that attack had inflicted serious damage on her, Paul eagerly chased after her, ready to finish the job…

And found nothing where she should have landed. No body, no indentation from her fall, not even any blood in the snow. She was nowhere to be seen.

"Where are you?" he called out, looking around carefully, the Buneary nowhere to be found even with his Foresight. "I know you're here somewhere. There's nowhere else for you to go, and I doubt your costume will be very good at hiding you anymore considering how much of it I must have shredded by now. Unless you decided to run away again? Give up your oath of vengeance and hide like a pathetic little child? I wouldn't put it past you." There was no response. He shrugged, unsurprised, he hadn't really thought she'd be goaded out so easily. "Fine. I can play the waiting game too. But unlike you, the cold can't get to me so long as my body keeps regenerating my cells. It's only a matter of time until you, on the other hand, freeze to death, even with all your training. You have to come out sooner or later. I'll just wait for you right here. I'll even keep my eyes closed, to make it easy for you." He sat on the ground, shut his eyes, and waited.

Several minutes passed. The wind howled and the snow fell and it got even colder. Paul paid attention to none of it, all his senses focused to the extreme as he listened and waited for the attack that he knew would be coming eventually. He was patient, and knew that it was only a matter of time before the ninja, driven by desperation or impatience or anger, would try to take him down…

And when that happened, he would finish what he'd started all those years ago.

He sensed her approach more than heard it, feeling the snow underneath him shift ever so slightly as something approached him from behind, moving so slowly and stealthily that it made almost no sound as it glided across the ground, and barely left any footprints in its tracks. Too bad Paul had received the exact same training she had, plus more, so wouldn't be fooled by such tricks. He smiled and sat still, giving no sign that he knew she was coming. He waited until he sensed a presence right behind him…

And lashed out, whirling up from his seat and driving a claw through the chest of the ninja. Her eyes widened, and her body stiffened. He smirked. "Pathetic."

That's when her body disintegrated into nothingness. He blinked. "A Substitute? But-"

He gasped, eyes bulging from their sockets as suddenly a dagger made of green crystal was buried in his back. The true ninja hopped away as Paul whirled on her, a look of surprise, fury, and amusement on his face. "Hmmph. You really have gotten better. Still, that was a pointless endeavor, since I'm still-" The dagger started glowing. Paul paused. "What-" He gasped and his body started shaking in pain as suddenly green veins started snaking out from the dagger's blade, the weapon pumping something into his body. And it wasn't poison, at least none that Paul was familiar with, but something else. Something that actually _hurt_, something that his immortal flesh was unable to mend. "Wh-what have you done to me?!" he cried, trembling as more veins formed all over his body. "This…this isn't possible…" He collapsed, convulsing as the green spread across his form. The ninja watched him dispassionately as the storm died down and vanished, the snow around them melted, and the ice walls shattered abruptly, revealing the ghastly scene to the entire arena, startling the crowd and Ash's friends (and the security guards who'd been trying for the last several minutes to break through the ice to no avail).

"He's alive!" Pikachu cried in relief, seeing a confused Ash looking around him, apparently surprised that the ring had transformed back to normal so quickly.

"But not for long, given his condition," said the amazed Sasha. "I'm surprised he's lasted so long like that!"

"Yeah, but it doesn't look like Paul's in good shape either, yo," Leo pointed out. Tiny sucked his pacifier in agreement.

"Wh-what's this?! Paul Yami's been murdered!" the horrified MC cried as Paul gave one last shake and fell still. "Guards! Guards! Grab her! Get that assassin!" The guards quickly charged towards the ninja as Paul's fangirls wailed so loudly one could easily be mistaken into thinking that _they_ were the ones who were dying, not their idol. The Buneary gave them a scornful look and threw down a smoke bomb, vanishing in a flash of light and a cloud of smog.

"She's gone!" a startled suited Magmar cried.

"Well, _duh_, she's a ninja, that's what they do!" one of his fellows, a Piloswine, said.

"I coulda…told you that," Ash slurred as he limped over, dragging his bad leg behind him, his fur rimed with frost and encrusted with frozen blood. "She's…a real slippery one…can't keep your eyes off her or she…she…" He staggered, his vision swaying. "Oh…ohhhh…is the volcano erupting…or something?" He collapsed to the ground, head ringing and his vision starting to go dark as the last dregs of his strength gave out and he began to pass into unconscious. The last thing he saw were some of the guards rushing towards him while the others clustered around the possibly dead Paul, clearly at a loss at what to do. The last thing he heard were the scream of the crowds and the shocked MC, his friends shouting his name, someone whispering _Don't die_ in a voice that resonated more in his heart than in his ears, and his own voice saying, "So, did I win?"

Then everything went black.

…

Meanwhile, in Pokemon Square…

Nearly everyone in town had gathered in the titular square, standing eagerly to attention and craning their necks as they peered into the sky and bumped into their neighbors to try and get a better view. A band had been assembled, and the musicians were tuning their instruments every second they weren't also looking expectantly to the skies. The Mayor had been wheeled out in a large tank big enough for his enormous fishy body, and stood (or swam?) at the foremost edge of the crowd, right before a large bright Wheel of Arceus they had painted on the ground in the center of the square to serve as a landing beacon for their esteemed guests. Aaron and Raiki stood on either side of his tank along with Nurse Joy, Scotty, and some of the other high-ranking Rescue Teams, warriors, and town dignitaries. "Where are they?" Raiki asked, fidgeting and restraining the urge to scratch a rather bad itch he had in a somewhat embarrassing spot in public. "They should have been here by now!"

"Our guest is the ruler of a world-spanning empire, and a deity at that, he can afford to be a little late," the Mayor said. "Though I agree, it does feel like we've been kept waiting for them a while…it seems as if he and the others should have gotten here a very long time ago, and not kept us waiting all this time!"

"Don't worry," Aaron said calmly, staring off into the distance. "They're on their way, just a few miles off. They'll be here in a minute."

The Lucario's prediction came true, as soon a green speck appeared in the sky, growing larger as it approached. As it came closer, a pair of smaller specks, one red and one blue, appeared alongside the green one. And then those specks came closer still and resolved themselves as Rayquaza, Latias, and Latios. The crowd cheered, and the band quickly picked up their instruments and started playing Pokemon Square's anthem loudly as the three dragons descended towards the space in the middle of the square that had been cleared for their arrival. "Ah, here they are," said the relieved Mayor.

"Took them long enough," said Raiki. "I would have thought they'd have brought a larger escort, though."

"The big un's a god and ruler of a world-spanning empire of powerful dragons and ghosts," Scotty pointed out. "Not to mention he's blinking enormous! Who'd be daft enough tae mess wit' a wyrm his size?"

"Barbarians?" Joy suggested.

"Well that's a given, mam, 'snot like they have much in the way of brains or common sense," Scotty admitted.

As the three dragons touched down, causing the excited crowd to cheer with greater fervor, it became clear that each Pokemon was carrying a passenger. Father Yamiri and Sabrina were riding on Latias and Latios' backs, and Nuken the Shedinja flew out from where he had been tucked behind his liege's ear. Sabrina and Yamiri dismounted and waved and bowed to the townspeople, who were overjoyed to see them back safe and sound. Latias and Latios also waved, happy to be back in Pokemon Square after what felt like far too long an absence. If the three Psychics were suffering any strain from being surrounded by the eager and loud minds of so many Pokemon, they didn't show it. Rayquaza, on the other hand, looked oddly nervous. You'd have thought he'd be used to getting big welcomes like this and being surrounded by dozens of excited Pokemon and sightseers by now, he'd only been the avatar of the Dragon God King for what, a few million years now?

The Mayor raised himself out of his tank and leaned his upper body over the rim so everyone could see him. He gestured with a fin, and the band stopped playing the anthem. Everyone took that as a cue to quiet down. "Mighty Rayquaza, we are honored that you deigned to visit our humble village on this auspicious day, for without your help, our town, if not the world, would surely be doomed!"

"No pressure, huh?" Rayquaza muttered to himself. Nuken glanced at him, and the dragon coughed and said, "We are honored as well to be welcomed to your village, Mayor. The virtues of your town and its people have reached even my ears high above the clouds, and I would be more than happy to assist you in protecting Pokemon Square from our common enemy."

The Mayor nodded gratefully and continued. "Latias, Latios, welcome back to Pokemon Square, you have been missed dearly!"

"We missed this place too," Latias said wistfully.

"Yeah, it really has been too long since we were last here, hasn't it?" Latios agreed.

"You two are welcome to stay with us again," Raiki offered. "It may be a bit of a tight fit, given how much of the family is in town these days, but we should be able to squeeze you in somewhere. Like in Ash and Pikachu's room. I'm sure they won't mind. Much."

"Thanks!" the dragon twins chirped gratefully.

"They're staying with us?! They've done it before?! How do we know them?! How did we get on first-name basis with legendary Pokemon?!" an astonished Matthias asked Delia. He and the other Thunderblades were standing a little further back in the crowd, but still had a good view thanks to their relation to Raiki.

"A few months ago, not too long after Ash and Pikachu saved the world, there was a robbery in town and Team Aurabolt tracked the thief back to the Northern Range," Delia explained. "That thief was Latios."

Matthias blinked in confusion. "Huh? Why was a legendary dragon stealing stuff?"

"A group of poachers had attacked him and his sister and kidnapped Latias," Pichu said. "They were gonna chain her up and use her as a breeder to make lots of baby Latiases and Latioses that they could sell on the black market!"

Matthias blanched. "Uh, by breeder, do you mean…"

"Yep," Collette said. "They were going to rape her repeatedly so she would produce enough eggs for them."

"That's horrible!" the Ratatta cried.

"Latios stole stuff to try and become strong enough to take down the poachers," Junior continued. "When Dad and Uncle Pikachu beat the story out of him, they were more than willing to help rescue his sister from the poachers' lair in Pitfall Valley."

"Why didn't he just ask for help in the first place?" Matthias asked.

"For most of their lives, Latias and Latios have had to survive on their own, and Latios has become very protective of his sister," Delia said. "He doesn't trust others easily, and is a little too obstinate to ask for help when he needs it."

"Would you do the same thing for us if we were in trouble?" Sapphire asked Junior.

"Definitely!" Junior bragged. Collette scowled and hit him. "Ow! What was that for?!"

"You'd try to steal rather than ask for help to save us?! There's nothing noble about that!" Collette lectured.

"Sorry…" Junior muttered.

"The poachers turned out to be a lot stronger than the three of them expected," Pichu continued. "But fortunately, they weren't the only ones trying to save Latias! Rayquaza had heard about what was going on and sent a strike force to rescue Latias. Between the two groups, those mean poachers didn't stand a chance!"

"That's how Latios and Latias first met Rayquaza, and became friends. Well, Latias did, anyway," Delia said. "Latios learned to trust others a little more easily, and they came to stay in town with us until Rayquaza could set up a protected new home for them in the Southern Islands."

"That was nice of him," said the rather impressed Matthias, who hadn't thought gods or kings usually stooped low enough to do favors like that for ordinary people.

"Well, there's many who think that he did it because he fancies Latias," Sapphire said.

"They're probably right," said Collette. "Anyway, it's great that they'll be staying with us again! They were practically family by the time they left, and they visit far too little for my liking. Latias is like the big sister I never had!"

"What about Latios?" Matthias asked.

"Eh, just another stupid older brother," Collette said.

"Hey!" said Junior.

"Sabrina, Father Yamiri, welcome back as well, and congratulations on succeeding in your mission! Thanks to your efforts, we will soon be able to summon the Guardian of Light as planned and save the world from ruin!" the Mayor continued.

"We only did what we felt we needed to," the Father said. "It wasn't very hard."

"We had no chance of failure. I foresaw that we would succeed," Sabrina said with what was almost a brag.

"I'm glad to hear that, because hopefully we shall succeed in our next endeavor too! With the power of the Dragon God King, the Guardian of Light, and the hero of Aura on our side, those barbarians will be in for a fight when they try to attack us!" the Mayor said.

Latios perked up at this. "The hero of…Aaron's here?! Oh, where? Where?!" He gasped, spotting the blindfolded Lucario. He squealed. "Ohmigoshit'sreallyhim!" He quickly zoomed over to Aaron and grabbed the startled warrior's paws. "It is such an honor to meet you, sir! I'm, like, your biggest fan, and have heard about all your adventures, and got all your action figures!" Latias giggled and Rayquaza rolled his eyes at Latios' antics.

"Uh, thank you, it's a pleasure to meet you too," Aaron said awkwardly, noticing that Raiki was struggling very hard not to laugh at him. _Oh great, another crazy fan…wait, they made action figures of me?!_

"Hey, I am not a crazy fan!" Latios said indignantly.

Aaron started. "I thought Psychics weren't supposed to read people's minds without permission. It's impolite."

"It certainly is," Sabrina agreed.

Latias blushed in embarrassment. "Uh, well, we're not, but my sister and I are very empathic and more sensitive than most Psychics, so we often pick up certain vibes and thoughts from other people even when we know we shouldn't be."

"I see," Aaron said. "I apologize if I offended you. I meant no insult, it's just…" He paused, then thought very strongly—knowing that Latios would hear it--, _I have a rather persistent and obsessive fanclub here that really gets on my nerves, and I was worried you were another one of those Pokemon that idolized me and would try to pluck off some of my eyelashes in my sleep._

_Don't worry, I'd never do that!_ Latios replied._ I'm nothing like those crazies!_

_Good,_ Aaron thought in relief.

_I know that you've trained yourself to the point that, even when you're asleep, you're fully aware of everything around you and are actually completely capable of talking, walking, and eating coherently even in your sleep. Plus, you only need to sleep for one hour a day every three months. Only an amateur wouldn't know that and would try to steal an eyelash during the night, foolishly thinking you were out cold! I would just ask you for one politely. Can I have an eyelash, please?_ Latios begged him. _It'll go great with all my other memorabilia and collection of your cast-offs!_ Aaron sweatdropped.

_Brother, I think you're scaring him,_ Latias said, entering the conversation.

_Nuh-uh! Aaron knows no fear! _Latios said firmly. _I heard he ripped out the part of his brain that generates fear. And _ate_ it!_

_That's actually just a story, every great warrior needs to know fear now and then to remind him of his weaknesses,_ Aaron corrected Latios. _And I think I should go talk to Father Yamiri and Sabrina now, it's been ages since I've seen them last._

_Oh. Kay!_ Latios said as Aaron quickly shook him off and hurried past him. _Sis, did you see that? I shook Aaron's paw! I'm never washing this hand again._

_Isn't that the hand you wipe yourself with? _Latias asked.

_Er, never mind…_ Latios replied. Latias laughed.

"Why were they just standing there looking at each other for a few minutes?" a confused Matthias asked Pichu.

"I think they were having a telepathic conversation," the mouse replied.

"Oh. Okay," Matthias said.

"Father Yamiri, it's been too long," Aaron said, clasping his hands to the ghost's.

"It has indeed, my boy," the Sableye said warmly. "Almost a decade, isn't it?"

"Sometimes it seems longer, while other times it feels as if I never left," Aaron said.

"I must hear everything you have been up to, Aaron. I know a thing or two about spiritual life-altering journeys, and I would love to know how yours went, and what you saw along the way," Yamiri told Aaron.

"And I would love to tell you about it. But first, we have other matters to attend to," said Aaron. He turned to face Sabrina. "And Sabrina…it's also been a long time, hasn't it?"

Sabrina nodded. "Yes, it certainly-" She stiffened, as did Aaron. One of them read the other's Aura. One of them had a precognitive vision about the other's life. A long, awkward pause passed between them. Everyone stared at them in confusion.

"Er…is something the matter?" the Mayor asked finally.

The two started, snapping out of their respective visions. "Uh, no, no, everything's all right," Aaron said quickly.

"Yes, we're just…we're just happy to see each other again," Sabrina said, pointedly not looking at Aaron.

"Very," Aaron said, also not looking at Sabrina.

Another awkward pause passed. Nobody, save for a disturbed Latias and Latios, who had gotten a sense of what was flashing through Aaron and Sabrina's minds through their empathy, had any idea what the heck was going on. _Sis, are they-_ Latios started.

_It's none of our business,_ she interrupted.

_But-_ he protested.

_It's something they need to sort out on their own. We shouldn't even be aware of it. Let's just act like nothing's happened._ She coughed and turned to the priest. "Father Yamiri! Now that we're here, can we get things underway?"

The Father, who had been staring at the rather uncomfortable-looking Aaron and Sabrina, blinked. "Huh? Oh, er, yes, the summoning. That's a good question. Ah, Mayor, have the artifacts I requested from the Arcean Order's headquarters arrived safely?"

The Mayor nodded, splashing water out of his tank. "Yes, I believe they arrived just the other day. We put them in your temple with the other things for the spell."

"Very good! Then I see no reason we cannot begin immediately, especially if all the components we require are ready," Yamiri said, clasping his hands together.

"Er, do we really need to? I mean, we just got here…" Rayquaza said, fidgeting. Nuken glared at him, and he gulped. Latias frowned, wondering what was going on with him.

"If everything is in order, then there's no real reason for us to put this off," Aaron said, relieved by the change in subject. "The sooner we call the Guardian of Light, the better."

"Yes, she will be needed in the very near future. Let us summon her before the disaster she is needed to prevent occurs," Sabrina said.

"I'm ready whenever you guys are," Latias said.

"You'd better be, considering they're going to be summoning the Guardian _into_ you!" Latios said somewhat anxiously, still a little worried for his sister's safety despite everyone's assurances that she would be fine.

"Excellent! Then let's adjourn to the temple and get things started," the Mayor said. "Mighty Rayquaza, I believe you'll be able to fit inside…though it may be a tight squeeze getting through the front door."

"Wonderful…" Rayquaza mumbled uneasily.

"Oh, by the way, this came for ye in the mail with the other stuff," Scotty said, handing a letter to Father Yamiri.

"Hmm," the Sableye said, examining the envelope and noticing it bore the seal of his Order on it. "I wonder what this is about…" He opened the envelope with a claw and pulled out the letter inside. He scanned it with his gemstone eyes, did a double-take, then read it again more carefully. "Oh my."

"What is it?" Aaron asked.

Yamiri glanced up from the letter. "I'm afraid my homecoming is fated to be short-lived. I've just received an urgent cry for help from one of my oldest friends, one I cannot refuse. I can stay long enough to help perform the spell and summon the Guardian…but after that, I must leave at once, for the longer I tarry, the greater the chances that my friend will cease to exist before I even make it to him…"

…

Meanwhile, somewhere else in Kanjohenn…

Professor Sebastian and Doctor Namba were driving Giovanni through a series of tunnels in the secret facility Team Rocket was using to construct Project T. "It's an honor to have you here on base, sir. Have you found your accommodations to be comfortable?" Namba asked, glancing over his shoulder and away from the wheel of the tram they were in.

Gioanni, stretched out on the back seat of the tram, nodded. "Yes, they matched my specifications exactly. My commendations to the builders."

"They deserve it, we have some of the best engineers, scientists, and construction workers in the world here, along with their families," Sebastian commented. "Both to keep them safe from our enemies and to, ah, ensure their good behavior and best efforts."

"That's one way to motivate someone to do a good job," Giovanni said.

"We apologize if anything here seems out of sorts," Namba apologized. "We weren't expecting you or our operatives in Pokemon Square to arrive when you did, our timetables indicated you weren't supposed to pull out for another month at least."

"Circumstances beyond my control forced me to withdraw sooner than I planned," Giovanni said. "We've lost our holdings in Pokemon Square and everyone either knows of or suspects our existence, but on the plus side we have even more helping paws on duty and I can supervise our operations directly from here. Additionally, we have all the money belonging to the occupants of Pokemon Square in our coffers now, which will certainly help our budget and free up a few raises for the especially deserving. How is development of Project T progressing?"

"You can see for yourself, sir," Sebastian said, hoping that one of those raises would go to him. "We'll be there in just a minute."

Namba spun the wheel, taking a corner and driving into the enormous subterranean chamber where the myriad parts of Project T, constructed in secret facilities all over the world similar to this one and transported to Kanjohenn through private channels, were being assembled. Hundreds of Pokemon and machines were moving about the floor and across the scaffolding draping the ever-rising superstructure of Project T, welding pieces together and fiddling with circuit boards and fitting large joints of metal into place. Giovanni looked on in wonder as a cart towing a very long chain of flatbeds heaped with heavy explosives drove past them, bearing its cargo towards its ultimate destination of Project T's munitions stores. "Magnificent…" the Persian breathed.

"Isn't it?" Namba said smugly, sure he was going to get that raise.

"We still haven't completed the specialized weapon systems—Bush and Cassidy ("IT'S BUTCH!" Butch shouted.) haven't obtained all the specimens we need to finish them yet--but we're getting there," Sebastian reported. "We've calculated that, at the current rateof construction, Project T should be fully operational in time for the barbarian hordes' attack on Pokemon Square…assuming, of course, that Tyson and Vicious's intel on the barbarian marching orders is correct."

"Excellent," Giovanni said, grinning as he stared up at Project T's massive shape, watching as, piece by piece, the giant took on its ultimate form, which would give Team Rocket the power to dominate the world. "They won't know what hit them…"

…

Elsewhere…

Doctor Tarantulas and Chobin watched in disappointment on their jumbo-screen television as both Paul and Gonzales were swarmed by paramedics. "Awww man, Chobin cannot be believing that Paul was the one to be losing!" Chobin, insane once more thanks to some lobotomy courtesy of his master, complained. "He should totally have ripped that Lucario open like a sack of flour and watched his red yeast spill all over the floor, to be mopped up and used to bake a cake…a cake of pain and CRUSHING!"

"He vould have, too, if it veren't for zat meddling Buneary…" Tarantulas growled. "Zis is ze second time she's kept us from getting vhat ve vant…first she steals ze map to ze Star Badges right out of my clutches, zen she takes out my favorite fighter and keeps him from vinning ze tournament! How dare she meddle in ze affairs of Doctor Tarantulas! She shall suffer for zis!"

"Yes, Chobin am agreeing with you!" Chobin agreed. "We shall have revenge…a dish served cold, spread with the mustard of her doom and a side order of cake made from Lucario blood-yeast and ice cream that'll give her a brain freeze she'll never forget!"

Tarantulas stared at his assistant. "…Vhat's viz all ze food metaphors zese days?"

Chobin blinked. "What food metaphors are you being talking about?"

Tarantulas sighed. "I zink I must have crossed a few too many neurons vhen I broke your mind again…I'm not sure vhezer or not zat vas a bad zing or not."

"CABBAGE!" Chobin shouted randomly. Tarantulas sweatdropped.

"Vhat are you doing?" Oblivion's Shadow asked in Tarantulas' voice from right behind them. Tarantulas and Chobin jumped and cried in alarm, for they had not noticed their leader's approach. "Vhy are you vatching television razzer zan vorking on your latest project, as I ordered you to?"

"We are being on a break," Chobin said. "A break like the one I put in one of our experiment's legs! Guffawguffawguffaw!" They stared at him. "What? Why are you staring at Chobin like that and undressing him with your eyes?" They politely decided to pretend he hadn't said that and moved on.

"It's ze finals of ze Mt. Battle tenth anniversary tournament, one of our favorite sporting events of ze year! Ve couldn't miss it!" Tarantulas said.

"Couldn't you have recorded it and vatched it later?" Oblivion's Shadow asked. He had known of the tournament for a while now, but paid little attention to its proceedings, having weightier matters to attend to. Nihilators all over the base seemed to be worked into a frenzy by the tournament; as an incredibly violent and bloody event it was only natural that it inspired greater acts of savagery and carnage in them, which was why he vaguely approved of it and let them watch it. It was good for morale.

"Vell, yes, but ve didn't really feel like vaiting," Tarantulas admitted.

"This year's fighting has been really fierce! The match we just watched was really violent and gory and spilled blood across the floor like ketchup on delicious French fries…of suffering!" Chobin said. "It was bad old Paul against some stupid Lucario named Gonzales. Too bad that stupid ninja who Chobin doesn't remember because Chobin died that messed up everything at the Tree of Beginning showed up and did something weird to Paul that's put him in near-critical condition and seems to have _kept_ him there, which has never happened before and Chobin thought was almost impossible."

The Shadow stirred. "That ninja again? Curious…and a Lucario? Show me," he said in Chobin's voice.

Tarantulas immediately complied, pausing the video feed and zooming in on Gonzales so that the whole screen was taken up by the image of a seriously injured Lucario lying in a hover-stretcher being levitated out of the arena. The Shadow stared at the Lucario for a long moment, while Chobin drooled and got an erection from Gonzales's wounds. Finally, the Shadow turned to Tarantulas. "Send a ship to Mt. Battle."

Tarantulas blinked stupidly. "Huh?"

"Send a ship to Mt. Battle," the Shadow repeated in Tarantulas' voice.

"Er, okay, but vhy?" said the confused mad scientist.

"Because ze fourth Star Badge is zere," the Shadow replied.

Tarantulas frowned, bewildered. "Vhat? No, zat can't be right, ve checked zat place out years ago, ze Star on ze Champion's belt is a phony. Zere is no Star Badge zere."

"Wrong," the Shadow said. "Ze Star _is_ zere. We must have missed it before. It's been right under our noses all zis time. Now ve must get it before somebody else does."

"Uh, all right, but…how do you know it is zere?" Tarantulas asked somewhat doubtfully.

The Shadow turned back to the frozen image on the TV screen. "Look at ze Lucario. Doesn't anyzing about him seem familiar to you?"

"No," said Chobin.

"Only in zat ve have seen him fighting in every round of ze tournament since it began," Tarantulas said. "He's become pretty popular among some people, but ve personally have been dying to see him and his team get ze crap beaten out of zem. Ve vere disappointed Paul didn't get ze chance to finish him due to zat stupid ninja showing up and somehow defeating him. Vhat vas she doing zere, anyway? And how'd she beat Paul?"

Chobin nodded. "Yeah, _nobody_ can beat Paul as badly as it looks like she did! That's just crazy! And I _know_ crazy!"

The Shadow grunted in annoyance and used his powers to create two holograms of the wounded Lucario. He changed the colors of one of them so that its fur was the regular hue for its species. Chobin and Tarantulas stared blankly. Oblivion's Shadow removed the glasses of the Lucario whose color he had changed. Chobin and Tarantulas stared blankly. Getting frustrated, Oblivion's Shadow removed the mustache, too. Chobin and Tarantulas stared blankly. Sighing in exasperation, the Shadow caused a scarf and a glittering badge to appear on the Lucario's body. Chobin and Tarantulas gasped in realization. "Zat's-" Tarantulas cried.

"That Lucario who leads the Rescue Team that killed Chobin which Chobin sadly does not remember happening and Chobin would dearly like to remember dying that Oblivion's Shadow is obsessed with, just as Chobin is obsessed with eating and molesting dead bodies and reading cheesy romance novels!" Chobin yelled.

"_Finally,_" grunted Oblivion's Shadow. "And my interest in Ash is completely different from your sick and perverted lusts regarding corpses and prisoners, Chobin."

"Suuuuure it is," Chobin leered. Oblivion's Shadow telekinetically snapped his neck.

Tarantulas sighed. "It's a good zing I finished rebuilding all my cloning equipment and memory banks just ze ozzer day, or zat could have been a real problem."

"If Ash is at Mt. Battle, zen is so is Team Aurabolt," Oblivion's Shadow said. "And if zey are zere, it can only be because ze map told zem to go zere. Zat means ze next Star Badge must be somevere in zat volcano. Dispatch a ship at once and alert our agent in Battlus as to ze situation. Tell him to be ready for our arrival."

Tarantulas blinked. "Our agent in Battlus? But he's-"

"I don't care what he is. Tell him to be ready. I vant that Star Badge…and, if at all possible, ze map that vill tell us vhere ve can find more." Oblivion's Shadow paused. "And I vant somezing done about zat ninja. She's been causing too many problems."

"As you command, Herr Shadow," Tarantulas said, knowing there was no other acceptable response. Oblivion's Shadow turned with a swish of his cape and left. The cyborg Ariados glanced at Chobin's corpse and sighed, summoning his spider minions to freeze it so that Chobin could eat it after he got cloned back to life. "Vell, guess I'd better send zat ship…and prepare Chobin v. 39.0," he muttered. He looked at the television regretfully and switched it off. "Guess ve von't get to see ze final match…"

…

Meanwhile, in Almiore…

"Ugh…how much further is it? It feels like we've walked for hours!" Gary complained.

"We _have_ been walking for hours," Mary said tiredly.

The trio of Gary, Mary, and Maren were still following the trail Hissssa had left as she left Chicole Village with Jerry and Evan in tow. They had been chasing after the serpent since the previous night, so were suitably exhausted, with still no sign of the snake or any end to the rut through the forest in sight. Gary growled in frustration. "This is ridiculous…at the rate we're going, we'll never get to them before it's too late! Hissssa's probably putting them in the cooking pot even as we speak…and by the time we find her lair, they'll both be in her belly, and I…" He sagged. "I'll have failed another friend…"

"We'll save them," Mary said. "We have to."

"Gary, I don't mean to pry, but…your concern for Evan seems rather odd, considering the way you treated him earlier and generally were, well, a jerk to him," Maren said, somewhat puzzled by the frequent shifts in Gary's mood towards his teammates.

Gary shrugged. "Eh, I guess we're what you could call vitriolic best buds. He's an idiot and gets on my nerves and keeps getting us into trouble, but…he's also one of my oldest friends and I honestly can't imagine life without him, even if it might be a sight pleasanter without that ugly mug or irritating hiss of his everywhere. If I treat him like shit or talk down to him, it doesn't mean that I hate him. Much. It's sort of complicated. Guy relationships are hard to put into words."

"That's because mons are all morons," Mary grumbled.

"Pretty much, yeah," Gary said.

"So you really _do_ care for Evan as a friend?" Maren asked, pressing harder, pleased to discover that Gary might possess some Pokemonity after all.

"Beneath it all? Yeah, I guess so," Gary confessed. "If I didn't, do you think I'd be so worried about him right now? He may be a pain in the ass, and I probably am too sometimes, but he's still my friend and a part of the team, and I can't take those things for granted ever again. Not after what happened to Gooey…" His lip trembled a bit as he said this. "I don't want that to ever happen again to someone I care about."

"Then when we find him, you should probably tell him that," Maren said softly. "So that he understands just how much you mean to him."

"Maybe," Gary said reluctantly. He growled. "But at the rate we're going, he'll be dead before I ever get to tell him that!"

"You _do_ realize you can fly, right?" Mary asked.

Gary blinked. "Huh? Yeah, what about it?"

"Couldn't you just fly ahead? You'd probably get there a lot faster," Mary pointed out.

Gary stared at her for a long moment. "ARCEUSDAMMIT!" he swore.

Maren smacked herself. "Why didn't I think of that?!"

"Right, screw this, I'm getting there the easy way," Gary said, floating off the ground.

"I'll come with you," Maren offered.

"No, you're just a civilian, you'll only get in the way," Gary told her condescendingly. "Stay with Mary, by the time you two catch up with me I should have everything taken care of." Maren's eye twitched, and she had to refrain from demonstrating just how much she would 'get in the way' by reminding herself that she was supposed to be undercover and they weren't supposed to know she was a highly-trained member of the Mirage Kingdom special forces sent to keep an eye on them. It wasn't easy.

"I'll take care of things back here while you go ahead," Mary told Gary. "We'll try and catch up as fast as we can. Can't let you have all the fun, after all."

Gary nodded. "Then I'll see you two soon…hopefully, with Evan and Jerry safe, and both of Hissssa's heads on sticks!" He flew off. "Evan, Jerry, hang on you guys, I'm coming for you!"

Mary and Maren stood and watched as Gary vanished into the distance. "So, now that he's gone, what do you want to talk about?" Maren asked. "With him out of the way, I was hoping we could have some more intelligent conversation, girl-to-girl."

"Well…" Mary thought for a moment. "Are there any boys back home that you've got your eye on?"

Maren blushed at the rather personal question. "Well…"

Unfortunately, Maren's answer could not be heard because the chapter abruptly ended.

…

Wow, this is the shortest chapter we've had in a while. I was expecting this to take longer, especially since school's just started. I'm sure the next one will be longer and you'll need to wait longer to get it, though. That's…probably not something I should be promising, true as it might be.

Not a bad fight, was it? And next one should be better, considering it'll be the championship match! Team Aurabolt vs. Wes! Who will prevail?

Yeah, the answer's obvious, but it should still make for an exciting battle, right?


	29. Day 5: part 2 Clash of the Champions

And now for the fight you've all been waiting for, the long-anticipated match with Wes! In this no-holds barred brawl, who will take the coveted title of champion and the prized champion's belt, becoming undisputed master of Mt. Battle? (Save for Mr. Ford, of course) Find out in this chapter! I hope the (probably) long wait will have been worth it!

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters that don't belong to me.

…

"So, Gonzales, how do you feel? Everything in shipshape and working order?" Ford asked Ash, who was sitting on the other side of the desk with the rest of the Fighting Four (and Tiny) in the Blaziken's office. Ms. Maple stood next to him, as always.

"Yeah, I feel fine," Ash marveled as he flexed his freshly regrown right arm. "This thing feels just like my old one. I can't even tell the difference, really!"

Ford chuckled. "That Nurse Joy sure is a miracle worker, isn't she?"

"The reason that arm feels like your old one is probably because Joy grew it using your cells and what was left of the one Paul tore off and froze—and you later shattered—right from the stump rather than grafting a new limb to it," May explained.

"Well, whatever she did, it feels great, just like the rest of me," Ash said.

"She was nice enough to give you a new eye and fix your face, too," Pikachu said.

"Which is good, dawg, 'cuz now Tiny don't have to go through life with a pops as ugly as Three-Face, yo!" Leo said. Tiny frowned at Leo and sucked his pacifier. He wouldn't have cared what Ash looked, either way he was still his caretaker. Though he probably wouldn't have been able to work as effectively missing an arm and most of his face, along with everything else Paul had done to him.

"Speaking of Nurse Joy, was she able to figure out exactly how Paul was able to utilize that astonishing healing power he demonstrated in the arena?" Sasha asked.

Ford frowned at the mention of the Weavile. "That dirty cheat…can't believe he pulled something like that in my ring! His rather unorthodox fighting style's always been tolerated because it gets the crowd fired up, but to learn that he's been illegally healing himself during matches to keep from being defeated as well as to prolong how much pain he can inflict on his opponent…he'll never fight in any professional or official tournament ever again! The unofficial and shady ones, on the other hand, he'll always find a place in, but that can't be helped."

"Wait, you mean he's not dead?" asked the surprised Pikachu.

Ford shook his head. "Nope! He was in critical condition when he got to the infirmary, but Joy's already at work healing him up…apparently, the dagger that ninja girl drove in his back was only millimeters away from his heart! A little closer, and our boy would be dead…but I'm glad she missed, for whatever reason, because now _I_ can deal with Paul's punishment for breaking the hallowed rules of this facility personally…"

"She missed? Dang! The world probably would'a been better off without a mofo like that," Leo complained. Ash frowned, finding it hard to disagree.

"How was he able to heal like that?" Sasha asked again.

"As far as Nurse Joy can determine, Paul had a unique physiology that caused his body's natural healing ability to accelerate at a phenomenal rate, to the point that any injury inflicted on him repaired itself in seconds, so fast an untrained observer would think he had never been hurt at all. He's clearly been using this ability to win countless matches and build up a reputation as a nearly undefeatable opponent," May reported. "Considering that this ability also kept him from being killed by conventional methods—i.e., he was all right even after his head was cut off—it's not much of a long shot to surmise that he was effectively immortal."

"That jerk…" Ash growled, his innate—and understandable--dislike for Paul surging up again. "He was already a bastard, but a cheater, too? How many times would he have lost by now if it weren't for that ability? I probably would've been able to beat him, too, without losing so many body parts…I'm glad he's not dead, because maybe that means I can pay him back for my arm and my eye someday."

"You got those back," Sasha pointed out.

"Well, yeah, but they still hurt!" Ash said.

"You don't think he'd still trash you?" Leo asked. "From what you said about his fight with that ninja chick, they may both be on a level way above the likes of us, dawg."

"I can beat him," Ash grumbled, trying to convince himself of this unlikely possibility.

"How did he get this weird power anyway?" Pikachu asked.

"Your guess is as good as ours," Ford said. "I intend to find out when Paul wakes up from the coma he's in at the moment…"

"Wait, if he has a healing power, then shouldn't he already be up by now?" Ash asked.

"Interestingly, it does not appear as if Paul possesses that ability anymore," May said.

This was news to everyone except Ford. "Whoa, really?" Leo asked.

"How did that happen?" Pikachu asked.

"The dagger that ninja used is made of an unknown substance that caused a strange chemical reaction in Paul's body when it was thrust into him. This reaction caused Paul's abnormal cellular structure to revert back to something more regular, nullifying his healing power and basically making him as mortal as the rest of us," May replied.

"Fascinating…" Sasha murmured. Secretly, all of them were recalling how the ninja had found a scroll that was supposed to tell how kill immortals, then stole some life crystals from the Tree of Beginning before its destruction…crystals that that dagger bore a strong resemblance to. Was the dagger made from life crystals? Was that how it had stripped away Paul's immortality?

"Too bad that ninja missed and just made him mortal rather than dead, yo," Leo complained. "Funny…you'd have thought someone like her would have better aim."

"Maybe she missed on purpose?" Sasha suggested.

"From the way she was waling on him? No, she hated him more than anything," Ash said, not mentioning that they already knew the ninja had planned to kill Paul from their previous encounters with her. That wasn't something Ford needed to hear. "But you're right, it does seem odd that she would make a mistake like that."

"Perhaps Mister Yami can enlighten us on that as well when he recovers," Ford said. "I look forward to learning the full truth about this strange incident."

"Have you had any luck finding that ninja, by the way?" Pikachu asked, oddly hoping the answer would be no. He wasn't sure why. Yes, the ninja had helped them before, but she was very dangerous, and it was difficult to say if they were friends or not. And the reason she had intervened in the battle earlier was to kill Paul, not save Ash, wasn't it?

May shook her head. "She vanished into thin air."

"Or maybe into a shadow…" Ash murmured.

"What was that?" Ford asked.

"Uh, nothing," Ash said.

"It's hardly surprising that we can't find her, given that she's a ninja and therefore a master of stealth," May continued.

"Unsurprising, but unfortunate," Ford grumbled. "Since it leaves us with more questions than answers." He sighed. "Oh well…I didn't call you all up here straight from the Pokemon Center just to tell you how that no-good cheater's doing."

The Fighting Four (and Tiny) blinked. "Then…why did you call us up here?" Ash asked.

"Well, since Paul's been eliminated from the tournament due to cheating...and because Ash was technically never defeated during the match, even when that ninja interfered, and because it's pretty clear the two were not collaborators, since if they were, would that bunny have let the poor boy freeze while she attacked Paul?...you've cleared the finals and can advance to the championships to challenge Wes for the title!" Ford announced.

They all perked up at this. "That's great!" said Pikachu.

"Yeah, I knew we could do it, yo!" said Leo.

"This is most welcome information," said Sasha, who had been slightly worried that they might not make it due to all the chaos that had happened during the match with Paul.

"You have no idea how happy this makes us," Ash said gratefully. Tiny sucked his pacifier in agreement.

Ford coughed, suddenly looking a little uncomfortable. "Oh…ah…you were really looking forward to the match, huh? Well…there's something else I wanted to talk to you about regarding that…"

The five hesitated, their elation swiftly descending to worry and dread. "Crap…" Leo muttered. "This can't be good, homes…"

"What is it?" Sasha asked warily.

"Wellll…it's like this," Ford said, steepling his fingers together. "This is the ultimate, end-all beat-all final match of the tournament, the culmination of the whole shebang. Everything that's come before was just a prelude to this one event, this last battle. And I don't just mean fighting-wise…I mean where it really counts, with money. The wagers people have made on all the other rounds of the tournament are absolutely nothing compared to the sheer volume of Poke' that gets thrown around during the championships. Fortunes can be made or lost based on the outcome of the match. This tournament is no exception, there're some people who've bet MILLIONS on who'll win the championship bout. I myself have placed a large sum on you."

"Well, thanks," Ash said, rather flattered. "I'm glad you have that much faith in us."

Ford shook his head. "You misunderstand. I've bet that you'll LOSE."

There was a long silence. The Fighting Four (and Tiny) stared at Ford blankly. "Ah…well…we're disappointed to hear that you don't think we'll win," Pikachu said slowly. "But we'll certainly try our hardest to-"

"No, you still don't understand," Ford said. "Let me put it to you this way. A rather sizable number of Pokemon have become impressed by your exploits and with how you've managed to survive against some of our strongest veteran fighters. These Pokemon have decided to throw their support behind you and bet quite a large sum on your victory against Wes, since they seem to have decided that you have a chance against him. I, on the other hand, bet an even larger amount on _Wes_ winning. If you manage to beat him, I stand to lose a ridiculous amount of money…however, if you _lose,_ I'll rake in more profits than I've ever dreamed, and probably more than you've ever dreamed either. Do you get my drift?"

They thought they did—yes, even Ash!—but really, really hoped he wasn't saying what they thought he was. "Gambling seems to be a rather dangerous pastime. Are you sure you want to put so much money behind such a risky assumption?" Ash said carefully.

"Because, if we win—which there's a chance of us doing, despite your doubts—you stand to lose quite a lot," Pikachu said slowly.

Ford sighed, looking frustrated. "No, I won't lose. Because _you_ are going to lose."

They stared at him. "…Are we now," said Sasha.

"Yes," said Ford. "Because I'm paying you too. If you take a dive during the match, I'll give you twenty percent of the profits, to split among yourselves four ways and maybe set up a trust fund for the little tyke there. That doesn't mean I want you to forfeit, it needs to look convincing, but at a key moment if you were to, oh, slip up a little-"

"No," Ash said.

Ford blinked. "What?"

"No," Ash repeated. "Absolutely not."

"No deal," Pikachu agreed.

"No chance," Sasha said. Tiny sucked his pacifier in agreement.

"Not enough, yo," Leo said, causing the others to glance at him in alarm.

Ford regarded them slowly. "If it's a question of money," he said after a moment. "I suppose I could give you a larger-"

"No, you don't understand, dawg," Leo said. "I don't mean you're not offering us enough to throw the match. I mean that no matter _how much_ you gave us, it _still_ wouldn't be enough to make us throw the fight. We got our integrity, brah!"

Ford stared at them incredulously and burst into laughter. "Integrity, huh?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Pikachu asked, bristling.

"Where was your integrity when I paid you to keep quiet about certain goings-on around the place?" Ford sneered. "You seemed _perfectly_ happy taking my money then."

"There's a difference between accepting a bribe to keep quiet and accepting a bribe to throw a fight," Ash said.

"Is there now?" Ford asked.

"There certainly is!" Ash said angrily.

Ford scowled. "Since when did you four grow some morals? I thought you were only in this for the prize money! And now you're telling me you're turning your noses up at the opportunity to gain more riches than you ever could in some dinky rural tournament?"

"Even sellswords have their limits," Pikachu said.

"Even those who claim to have no morals still know that there are things they would do and things they _cannot_ do," Sasha said firmly, knowing the truth of this from her harsh life in the wild. Times could be tough and food could be hard to come by, but there were still limits to what a Pokemon would do to other Pokemon in order to survive, even if it meant going hungry for a little while. Pokemon who ignored those limits rarely lived long enough to regret it, or at the very least were shunned by their neighbors and relations. It was because the barbarians rarely kept to such limits that they were despised by both civilized and wild Pokemon alike. "And this is something we most certainly cannot and will not do."

"You hypocrite," Leo sneered. "You were talking about how awful it was for Paul to cheat his way to victory so many times by using some immortality trick, yet you have no problem asking fighters to throw a match to earn some more bling for your already overlarge purse? That ain't cool, dawg!"

Ford growled, narrowing his eyes. "Huh, so you decide to get some sense of honor when it's convenient for you, is that it? Okay, if you won't accept money, then maybe a certain other goad will convince you to see the light. You lot are guilty of trespassing in unauthorized areas twice during this tournament, and while I overlooked both incidents, I'm well within my rights to boot you out for breaking the rules set forth in the release forms you signed to enter this thing. You don't throw the match, and I kick you out of here and ban you from ever competing in the professional circuit ever again, just like I'll do to Paul when he wakes up. Do I make myself clear?"

The group exchanged uncertain looks, not sure how to respond to this. Ford had them over a barrel, even more than he probably realized. If they were kicked out of the tournament, they would never be able to find the Star Badge in Mt. Battle. But if they went along with Ford's sick plan, not only would they still be unlikely to get the Star Badge—if it even was on Wes's belt—but they'd be compromising their values. What were they supposed to do?

It was then that Ash realized something. "You're bluffing."

Ford started. "What?!"

"What are you talking about, Gonzales?" Pikachu asked.

"Remember what he said when he considered kicking us out the other day for finding his secret trophy room? He said that if he did that, people might think he was doing it out of favoritism towards the Pokerockers and punishing us for defeating them. If he got rid of us now, before we could fight the champion, some people could make the same argument…especially since he's just placed a very large bet on the outcome of the match! Everyone will think that you're either trying to protect Wes because you're afraid that we can beat him, or that you're finding an excuse to get us out of the way so you won't lose any money gambling!" Ash cried out. "He can't throw us out without possibly smearing his own reputation and that of Mt. Battle! Nobody will come to his tournaments anymore if they think he's playing favorites or trying to rig matches! He has no power over us!"

Ford stiffened, beak clenched in rage, his fists shaking as flames ignited around his wrists. "You…graaaahhh!" Furious, he surged to his feet, knocking everything off his desk as the air shimmered around his form, his temper causing his body temperature to rise and burn holes in his carpet. They all reflexively flinched back, and May took a few steps to the side. "So that's how it's gonna be, huh?" Ford roared, looking as if he would burst into flame any minute. "Fine! You can have your precious match! But know this…you've made a very dangerous enemy this day, Fighting Four!"

They were not particularly bothered by this threat. "We already have a lot of those, dawg," Leo said casually.

Sasha nodded. "So what's one more, really?"

Ford gnashed his beak in rage. "OUT!" he shouted, pointing at the exit.

"Sure thing," Pikachu said as they rose from their seats.

"And you might want to try to rescind your bet," Sasha said.

"Either that, or look into a new line of work," Ash said.

"There should be plenty of openings at the hotdog stands," Pikachu said. "You'd go far there, with that firepower of yours." Tiny sucked his pacifier in agreement.

Smoldering with fury, Ford sat back in his chair as they left, not seeming to notice that he was burning the leather. "Miss Maple?"

"Yes, sir?" May asked.

"Please leave this office. I have a personal call to make…" the Blaziken said ominously.

…

A little later…

Team Aurabolt were sitting in a locker room, waiting to be picked up for their final match. Sasha was lying on the ground, Leo was surfing the Web for any last-minute details and possible strategies to use against Wes, Pikachu was pacing, and Ash was playing with Tiny. "I think our connection and his latent Aura powers are growing stronger," Ash commented as he tickled the Larvitar, who, unlike most children his age, neither giggled nor demonstrated any visible emotions whatsoever in reaction to the agitation. "Just before I blacked out earlier, I heard a voice in my head…or maybe my heart…begging me not to die."

"And you think it was Tiny?" Sasha asked.

"I don't know who else it could have been," Ash replied. He glanced down at the Rock Skin Pokemon, who stared up at him expectantly. "Was that you, Tiny? Were you the voice I heard?" After a long moment, Tiny hesitantly and reluctantly made a slight inclination of his head that could possibly be interpreted as a nod. Ash shouted in delight and hugged the Larvitar. "I am so proud of you! You're making so much progress…at this rate, we'll have you talking and behaving normally and not screaming whenever anyone gets within a few feet of you in no time!"

"If by 'no time' you mean a few months…" Leo muttered as he paged from website to website, eyes focused on his computer screen.

"Any luck?" Sasha asked him.

Leo shook his head. "Lots of fans have come up with possible strategies to use against him, but very few of them have been tested in the field. It doesn't help that he's the reigning champ and has been pretty much undefeated since he took the title a few years ago, never losing a match since then."

"Not even to Dark-types?" Ash asked, glancing up from Tiny.

Leo shook his head. "No. He's agile enough to avoid most attacks, and also knows Signal Beam, which does quite a number against Dark Pokemon."

Sasha frowned. "Hmm…I'll have to try hard to dodge that, then."

"Are you sure you still want to fight him?" Ash asked.

Sasha nodded. "I have the best chance of any of us. And besides…" She smirked. "You promised me a solo match, didn't you?"

Ash chuckled. "I guess I did, at that."

"Do you think we made the right choice?" Pikachu asked abruptly.

"Huh? What do you mean?" Leo said.

"Regarding Ford. Honor dictates that we did the right thing by rejecting him, but…from a practical standpoint, I'm wondering if we weren't a little too hasty," Pikachu said.

Ash frowned. "What, are you saying we should've taken him up on his offer and thrown the match? No way!"

Leo nodded in agreement. "Not for all the money in the world!"

Pikachu shook his head. "I'm not saying we should have made a deal, I'm…just wondering if perhaps we should have been a bit more tactful about it. He seemed rather angry about our refusal, and he holds a great deal of power in this volcano. As Leo pointed out earlier, we already have a lot of enemies…and the truth of the matter is, it really isn't a good thing to have too many." He sighed. "Then again, I don't think there's any way we could have parted ways on more amicable terms. There really wasn't anything else we could have done, was there?"

"I don't think so, no," said Sasha.

"Yeah, we definitely did the right thing, turning that scumbag down!" Leo agreed. "And to think, I actually once looked up to the guy…"

"Even if it pissed him off, there really isn't anything else we could have or should have done," Ash said firmly. "What he asked us to do was out of line. Even without going into how dishonorable it was, from a realistic standpoint agreeing to go along with his scheme might have cost us any chance of finding the Star Badge."

Pikachu nodded. "I know that. I guess I just worry too much sometimes."

"Well, you're the most level-headed member of the team, if you don't worry for us, who will?" Leo said reasonably.

Sasha frowned. "What about me? I'm level-headed."

"You're also from a place that considers clawing out someone's jugular and feeding their corpse to your children to be the best way to settle certain arguments," Leo pointed out.

"Or chewing off their genitals if they cheat on you," Ash added. "Though I suppose that's not actually something limited to the wilds, come to think of it."

"Yeah, I bet Misty would do the same thing to you if you so much as looked at another womon," Pikachu joked.

"No she wouldn't, because WE'RE NOT A COUPLE," Ash shouted. "I think you're the one who should be worried, considering that ninja would not only tear off your genitals but probably slit your throat if you cheated on her."

"We're not a couple either," Pikachu said with a scowl. "I'm not even interested in her."

"Oh yeah? The way you looked at her earlier says otherwise. I saw the expression on your face. The way she cleanly decapitated Paul turned you on, didn't it?" Leo crooned.

"It did not," Pikachu lied. "And you're one to talk, Leo. Remember what happened with you and Rosa?"

"Yeah, that was fun," Leo said wistfully, not the least bit embarrassed, defeating Pikachu's purpose. "Mon, I wouldn't mind doing something like that again…not necessarily her, mind, but she was _good_ at it, you know?"

Everyone stared at him. Tiny sucked his pacifier once. "I think we should change the subject," Ash said hurriedly.

"Ah, yes, that would probably be a good idea," Pikachu agreed. "Uh…let's see…Tiny! You're filling out that cheerleading outfit very well today. It suits you." Tiny glared at him, and would have told Pikachu he actually hated the outfit if he weren't mute due to overwhelming emotional trauma. Ash was aware of how Tiny felt, but, like most parents, thought his son looked so goshdarn cute in the uniform the thought of allowing him not to wear it never occurred to him.

The door opened and a security guard peeked into the room. "It's showtime. Are all of you ready for the match?"

They all stood up, Leo quickly stowing his computer away in his shell. "Yeah, we're ready," Ash said.

The guard nodded. "Excellent. If you'll just follow me, please…" He opened the door wider, stepping out of the way.

"This is it, yo…" Leo muttered as they filed out of the room, following the guard as he led them down the hallway. "The main event!"

Ash frowned as two more security guards appeared from side corridors and flanked them, and another one appeared from behind to cover their rear. "What's with the escort?"

"This is the big time, sir," the lead guard said. "The championship match. There are a lot of people who want a piece of you four—er, five. Crazy fans, gamblers, the media, prospective corporate sponsors, the works. We're here for your own protection."

"And to make you look good coming into the arena," another guard said. "With all of us surrounding you, it'll look like you mean business."

"Well, I suppose that is the sort of image we're going for," Ash admitted. "Thanks."

"No problem," the guard said.

"Hmm…" Pikachu murmured as more guards joined their entourage.

"Do we really need so many?" Sasha wondered.

"Something about this don't feel quite right, G…" Leo muttered to himself. Tiny sucked his pacifier, but whether in agreement or denial, it was hard to say.

…

Meanwhile, in the main arena…

The room was packed full of screaming fans, just as it had been earlier that day, except that, if anything, there were even _more_ Pokemon filling the stands. So many, in fact, that they were pouring out of their seats and lying in the stairs between rows for want of anywhere else to go. Technically that was a fire hazard, but they had paid through the noses to make it to the fight, so the Mt. Battle personnel were willing to look the other way. The air was filled with expectation and so tense you could cut it with a knife. This was going to be one of the most anticipated events of the year and possibly one of the greatest matches of all time, something that would go down in the history books and that the Pokemon seated all over the room would be telling their descendants about for ages to come. Nobody wanted to miss this battle!

Naturally, Ford had made quite a tidy profit making sure that anyone who wanted to make it could get there. The fight was such a big deal, that nobody complained if ticket prices were a little higher than usual, or if they did, they were rather quickly silenced.

Triumphal music blared from speakers all over the arena as the lights dimmed and spotlights in multiple colors switched on, their beams swinging down from the ceiling and panning all over the excited audience and the freshly repaired stage below. Big screens set in the walls and hanging from the ceiling showed images of the Fighting Four and Wes Psyche separated by a crown set over the champion's belt, with the words 'Mt. Battle 10th anniversary championships' flashing underneath it.

As the colored lights kept swiveling around the room, a floating platform descended from the ceiling, a single white spotlight shining down on it and illuminating Ford, wearing his best cane, hat, and shades. He waved, and the screams from the crowd grew even louder. He grinned and bowed, gleefully absorbing their applause. "Ladies and gentlemon!" he shouted once they had quieted down somewhat, his voice ringing throughout the chamber. "Welcome to the last match of Mt. Battle's tenth anniversary tournament!" The crowd cheered again, and he had to wait several seconds until their howls had died down enough for him to continue. "It's been a long week, and we've seen some of the finest displays of pugilism this facility has ever been witness to in years as fighters from all over the world duked it out for the title of grand champion of Mt. Battle! After countless duels, however, only two groups remain, and whichever one of them walks away from tonight's match will be the undisputed ruler of Mt. Battle! (Next to myself, of course.)" The crowd roared again. Ford grinned and gestured, a spotlight focusing on a doorway set in the far side of the arena. "First up is our current champion…your hero and mine, the one and only WES PSYCHE, here to defend his title!"

If the crowd had been loud before, their cries were earsplitting now as an Espeon wearing a belt with a golden crystalline star set into the buckle entered the room, flanked by a pretty Umbreon and a Skarmory with a magnificent mustache, a couple of guards surrounding them. The spotlight followed the Espeon, Wes's, movements as the Umbreon, his girlfriend Rui, removed his belt, allowing him to calmly walk up onto the stage, where he sat in the center of the light, a bemused smile on his face as he looked out at the arena and the screaming fans.

"And here to challenge him for the title of champion, we have the upstart newcomers you and I know as THE FIGHTING FOUR!" Ford shouted, causing the crowd to cheer again, though noticeably less enthusiastically than they had for Wes. Another spotlight focused on a second entryway on the opposite side of the arena, which…nobody was coming out of. They waited for a few minutes, but the doors remained empty. Slowly, the cheers died down and shifted to murmurs of puzzlement and discontent. Wes frowned, and Rui and Gonzap (The Skarmory with the incredible mustache, Wes's foster father) exchanged worried looks. "Hmm," Ford said, feigning surprise. "That's funny, they should have been here by now. Where are they?"

…

Meanwhile…

"This is a trap, yo," Leo whispered to the others.

Pikachu nodded in agreement. "Yes, we should have reached the arena by now. And I don't think we really need this large an escort, do we?"

At least a dozen extra guards had joined their party along the way, so that they were surrounded on all sides and unable to see where they were going, any distinguishing features of the hallways around them blocked off by the black suits of the guards. "If they are not taking us to the arena, then where to?" Sasha wondered.

"Ford said he put a lot of money on us not winning…since we refused to help him, maybe he's trying to win by other means by keeping us from showing up in time so it looks like we chickened out and forfeit by default!" Ash growled.

"Which would mean Ford would still win his bet…" Pikachu said, growing angry.

"That douchebag!" Leo snarled.

"We need to escape our escort and make it to the arena before it's too late," Sasha said.

"Only problem is…there's an awful lot of them…" Ash said uncertainly. "Can we take them all?"

"Sure we can!" Leo said. "We're a bunch of badass mofos! Plus, we got conservation of ninjutsu on our side."

"That didn't work when we were attacked by the Wigglytuff Guild," Pikachu pointed out.

Leo flushed in embarrassment as he remembered that rather unfortunate incident. "Well…uh…maybe it'll work now!"

"Before we do that, let's try something else," Ash said, getting an idea. He nudged Tiny, shoving him into Sasha. As if on cue, Tiny immediately pulled out his pacifier and started screaming at the top of his lungs. The guards (and everyone else) flinched and stopped walking. "Oh no! Tiny, what's wrong?" Ash asked as he knelt down to look at the Larvitar, half-feigning concern.

"What's the matter with him?" one of the guards shouted, barely making himself audible over Tiny's screaming.

"I think Tiny needs to use the bathroom! His stomach doesn't sound right!" Ash cried back, pressing an ear to the Larvitar's belly.

The guards exchanged uncertain looks. "Er, coming from the front and the back?"

"Both!" Pikachu yelled, getting the gist of Ash's idea. "And trust me, it won't look good coming out either end!"

"Yeah, dawgs, you might want to step back a bit, the stains will never come out! You have no idea how much shell wax I had to use to buff myself back up to my usual golden sheen, yo!" Leo said.

Some of the guards nervously backed away. They didn't want to get anything on their suits. The drycleaning bill would be murder! "We need to get him to a bathroom before he blows," Ash said, thickening his voice with anxiety. "Can you tell us where one is?"

"But…the match, you'll be late if we stop to-" the lead guard protested.

"If we don't stop to let him go, we'll be a lot worse than late!" Sasha said.

"Well…uh…" the guard hesitated. Mr. Ford's orders had been very explicit. They were to lead the Fighting Four to a certain location far away from the main arena so that they wouldn't be able to make the match in time, with absolutely no deviations or detours along the way that might cause the Foursome to suspect they were being tricked. He hadn't said anything about dealing with a baby's finicky digestive system, though!

His mind raced. If they made a pit stop, there was a chance he could lose his job for disobeying orders. But if they _didn't _stop…

Fortunately, one of the other guards came to his rescue. "We don't have time to take him to a bathroom, but you can use this," an Abomasnow said, handing a diaper to Ash.

Ash blinked. Everyone stared at the guard. "Uh, why did you just happen to be carrying one of those around?" asked a disturbed Pikachu.

"The new egg hatched just last month, and the wife and I're having trouble toilet training the little guy," the Abomasnow explained. "So I've taken to carrying a bunch of diapers around with me wherever I go in case of emergencies."

"Even when you're at work, with your kid nowhere near?" asked an incredulous Stantler.

The Abomasnow shrugged. "Once you get into a habit, it's hard to break. Besides, it's surprising how many babies a guy runs into working here, you wouldn't believe how often I've been able to save parents from having a little potty emergency that would have embarrassed them tremendously and possibly caused them to miss a match because they needed to go out and clean up!"

Leo snapped his fingers. "Dang, I knew I forgot to pack something in my shell before I left home! You can never have too many diapers in case of emergencies!"

"Exactly!" said the Abomasnow, pleased to find someone who understood his obsession with always carrying diapers around just in case.

Everyone else sweatdropped. "This is a very weird conversation…" a guard muttered.

"You haven't hung out with us long enough, there's weirder, trust me," Pikachu said.

"Well, uh, this is very nice," Ash said, trying to find a way out of this. "But he could still throw up, and we don't have anything for that! Er, _do_ you?"

"Actually…" the Abomasnow pulled out a barf bag.

"Now those I _did_ remember to pack," Leo said.

"What _else_ did you pack?" asked an incredulous Pikachu.

"Dude, you would not believe me if I told you," Leo said.

Ash's eye twitched. "Okay, you know what? Screw this, let's just attack them."

"That would probably be best," Sasha agreed.

"About time," Pikachu said, drawing his sword.

"And this time, there's no way we'll lose! Conservation of ninjutsu will be on our side!" Leo said assuredly.

Five minutes later, they were all locked in a dark, very cramped closet. "Then again, maybe not," Leo said.

"Why did you say 'Then again, maybe not' out of the blue just now?" Ash asked him.

"It would take too long to explain," Leo said.

"This is ridiculous. How does this sort of thing keep happening to us?!" an exasperated Pikachu asked. "Even if we were outnumbered, I'm a samurai—albeit one with a substandard sword—Ash is an Aura Guardian in training, Sasha has over seventy years of life in the harsh wilderness under her belt, Leo may not be the best fighter but he's very intelligent and supposed to be prepared for almost any emergency, and Tiny…well, Tiny can scream really loudly, like he's doing right now, right in my ear. Could you please make him stop that, Ash?"

"Sorry, he's feeling claustrophobic due to all of us being squished together. Plus, I can't reach him from here, not with Sasha's rather sharp tail in my face," Ash apologized.

"That's not my tail," Sasha said.

Ash's eyes bulged. "Ah."

"I ask again: how does this stuff keep happening to us?!" Pikachu shouted.

"Occupational hazard for adventurers," Leo said. "And speaking of hazards, Pikachu, could you please get your tail out of my face? I don't want you to shock me by accident."

"That's not my tail," Pikachu said.

Leo's eyes bulged. "…Oh."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Tiny screamed at the top of his lungs. Incessantly.

…

The crowd was starting to get restless and agitated. They'd waited several minutes, but it didn't seem like the Fighting Four were going to show. "Well, it doesn't seem like the Fighting Four are going to show," Ford said, feigning disappointment. "Huh, I guess they decided the prospect of fighting the unmatched Wes Psyche was too much and booked it. Oh well. I guess I have no choice but to declare them losers by default, and crown Wes as champion once again-"

"Five more minutes," Wes said abruptly.

Ford started. "Wh-what was that?"

"Give them five more minutes. I don't think they're out of the running yet," Wes said.

The crowd murmured in astonishment. Ford gave Wes an incredulous look. "…Wes, they're not coming. They ran and hid like sissies, with their tails between their legs and a big yellow streak down their backs. Five more minutes won't make a difference."

"And I think it will," Wes argued. "From what I've seen of their fighting in all their previous matches, I don't think they're the kind of Pokemon who'll run out on a battle just because they're scared of losing. And I definitely believe that Lucario will try his hardest to make it here if he possibly can. None of them are the sort of folk who ever give up, no matter how hopeless things look for them. Five more minutes, and if they don't show up by then, you can declare me the winner. After all, it's not like you've got anything to lose by waiting a little longer, right?"

Ford turned red with anger. "What…you…what do you think you're doing?! _I'm_ the owner and manager of this facility, _I'm_ the one who determines how the matches go and what the rules are, and if _I_ say that they aren't coming, then that means they're not-"

"Five more minutes!" someone cried.

"Give 'em a chance!" another shouted.

"Yeah, there's no way they Torchickened off and ran out!" one of the audience yelled.

"They probably just got held up or something!" somebody agreed.

"Gonzales is too brave to run away!" a Pokemon said loyally.

"Plus is too devoted to swordsmonship to dishonor his blade by fleeing like a coward!" another fan concurred.

"Night Slash is a hardcore badass! She never quits!" several girls cheered.

"And King K…well, okay, maybe he'd run, but the others wouldn't let him get very far!" someone admitted reluctantly.

"That's right, they're the Fighting Four! They're not gonna give up on a good fight!" somebody yelled.

"FIGHTING FOUR! FIGHTING FOUR! FIGHTING FOUR!" the crowd started chanting loudly, much to Ford's horror.

The Blaziken's face went white, and he stammered in disbelief. "Y-you…y-y-you _all_ want to wait for them?! But…"

"FIGHTING FOUR! FIGHTING FOUR! FIGHTING FOUR!" the crowd shouted. Ford flinched, realizing the situation was spiraling out of his control. This was not what he had expected to happen at all. He'd known the Fighting Four had gotten moderately popular among some people, but he hadn't thought that so much of the audience would be in favor of seeing them fight, enough so as to defy his will and demand they wait a little longer for them!

"So come on, Ford! Five more minutes. That should be plenty of time to see what measure of mon they are, don't you think?" Wes called up to Ford.

The audience took up this refrain as well. "FIVE MORE MINUTES! FIVE MORE MINUTES! FIVE MORE MINUTES!"

"All right! All right!" Ford cried, quickly caving into defeat and realizing that to do otherwise could start a riot. "We'll wait five more minutes, and not a second more! But they won't make it in time, I can practically guarantee it!"

Wes raised an eyebrow. "Really? How can you be so sure?"

"I…uh…i-it's just a gut feeling I have!" Ford stammered, realizing he'd almost given himself away. "And I always go with my gut!"

"I'd make a fat joke…but his chest is pretty toned," Gonzap muttered to himself.

"He _does_ seem oddly certain, though..." Rui mused, glaring at the Blaziken as he regained his composure. "I think he's up to something."

Gonzap nodded. "No doubt. You don't need to be an ex-crook like me to know that greedy firebird is hiding something…"

"Maybe the reason as to why the Fighting Four aren't here?" Rui suggested.

Gonzap nodded in agreement. "And I bet Wes is thinking the same thing…can never get a trick past that boy," he said proudly. "I should know, I've tried…oh, how I've tried…"

"Well, I hope those four guys get here soon, before they run out of time…and whatever Ford's planning comes to pass…" Rui said anxiously.

…

Meanwhile, in the closet…

"Ash, I don't suppose you could use some Aura power or super strength to bust the door down, could you?" Pikachu asked.

"Sorry, but I'm facing the wrong way and have my face smushed into the wall. I could loose an Aura blast, but it would also hit you guys too," Ash said apologetically.

Pikachu sighed. "And I can't draw my sword without possibly cutting somebody's limbs off…this place really is too small."

"And I can't reach the door with my claws or energy blades," Sasha said. She grimaced. "And to make matters worse, Tiny doesn't stop _screaming._"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Tiny screamed.

"I don't suppose he could just _shout_ the door open?" Ash suggested.

"I think we'd all be deaf by then," Pikachu said. "Or insane."

"It's a good thing I brought a lock pick for just such a situation like this!" Leo said.

"Good! Let's see it!" a relieved Ash said.

"Can't, not only am I nowhere near the door, but I can't really take anything out of my shell without possibly breaking someone's arm, possibly mine," Leo said.

"Arceusdammit," Pikachu swore.

Sasha sighed in disappointment. "I guess this is really it, then. Ford is going to win…"

"And there's nothing we can do, stuck in here…" Ash said sullenly.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Tiny screamed.

"Wait!" Leo cried. "That gives me an idea. It's a long shot, but it worked before!"

"What?" Ash asked.

Leo cleared his throat. "'Help, help, somebody help us! All hope is lost and there's no way we can get out of this! If somebody doesn't do something quick, we're all doomed!"

They all sweatdropped, soaking each other by accident. "You've got to be kidding me," Pikachu said flatly.

"I do not understand. What is he doing?" asked a puzzled Sasha.

"Trying to invoke a deus ex machine," Pikachu said, which didn't clarify things in the least for Sasha.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Tiny screamed.

Ash sighed. "Well, it worked the last time…'Oh, won't somebody please help us? There's nothing more we can do!'"

Pikachu grunted. "Fine…'There's no way we could possibly get out of this! Not on our own! Won't somebody, anybody, please save us?'"

"I do not understand," Sasha repeated. "How will saying that all hope is lost and there's nothing more we can do on our own possibly help-"

It was at that moment that the closet door opened, spilling all of them out on the floor. Tiny, relieved to be out in the open air again, mercifully stopped screaming. "Us?" Sasha finished, rather amazed.

"I can't believe that worked…again!" said an equally astonished Pikachu.

"Thank goodness for deus ex machinas!" Leo cheered.

"But who let us-" Ash gasped when he saw their savior. "You?!"

"I'm glad to see you are unharmed, Fighting Four," May Maple said, a couple of knocked out guards lying on the floor behind her. "Ford's security force can be very rough on those unlucky to cross them."

"…Okay, I'm totally confused. Why'd you just let us out of there?! Aren't you supposed to be Ford's loyal assistant?!" asked a dumbfounded Ash.

"Unless…you're a double agent!" Leo gasped.

"Are you the one who has been sending us all those letters and mysterious instructions?" Sasha asked, realizing what Leo was saying.

May shook her head. "No, but I work for the one who does. I joined Ford's organization to try and gain his trust and learn what really happened to all the missing fighters…including my father, King Sloth."

They gasped. "Whoa! King Sloth is your dad?!" cried an astounded Leo. "Dude! That's totally awesome! Aside from the fact that he's been missing for the last decade, I mean."

"Which is why I became Ford's assistant, to find out what happened to him," May said.

"That's a clever idea," said an impressed Ash.

"Aside from the fact that Ford's remained so closed-mouthed about the subject that I haven't found out anything really substantial up until you four came along, I suppose it is," May said. "But thanks to your investigative efforts, my partner and I are on the brink of finding the truth and putting a stop to the disappearances once and for all!"

"Who _is_ your partner, anyway?" Pikachu asked.

May shook her head. "I'm afraid I don't have time right now to tell you the whole story. You only have three minutes left before Ford declares Wes the winner by default. If you want a chance at the title, you need to get to the arena now, before it's too late!"

"Right! Let's go!" Ash yelled, running down the hall.

"Gonzales, the arena's that way," Pikachu said, pointing to a large sign on the wall which indicated the arena was in the other direction.

"Right! Let's go!" Ash yelled, running past them the other way.

They sweatdropped. "It's amazing that for someone with as good a nose and as generally infallible a sense as Aura like him that he gets lost so easily…" Sasha commented.

"We should go after him before he gets himself lost again," said Pikachu. "May, thank you for all your help. After our match, we'll be happy to help you and your mysterious partner finish your investigation. We think it may have a connection to something _we're_ looking for too, making it doubly important for us to learn the truth!"

"Thank you very much," May said gratefully. "But that'll have to wait until you actually fight your match first!"

"What do you think our odds are of winning?" Leo asked.

"Pretty good, actually," May admitted. "Wes is very powerful and experienced, but…the four of you seem to have a knack for pulling out victories in seemingly hopeless situations. If anyone can beat him, you can!"

"Cool!" said Leo.

"Yes, but we need to actually get there first!" Sasha pointed out. "Come on, let's go!"

They quickly ran off, leaving May and Tiny behind. Scowling at the fact that he had been forgotten, Tiny stuck his pacifier in his mouth and waddled off after them. "I think you look adorable in that outfit, by the way," May said, complimenting the Larvitar on his cheerleader costume. Tiny glared at her hatefully but made no comment.

…

Back at the arena…

Ford's anxiety eased away as the clock ticked closer and closer to the deadline, and there was still no sign of the Fighting Four appearing. As the minutes wound down, the formerly confident audience began to look more uneasy and doubtful, and even Wes started to look uncertain, wondering if perhaps he had misplaced his faith in the foursome after all. Either that, or something else had happened to them…

Seeing that there were only seconds left, Ford chuckled inwardly, assumed a somber expression, and prepared to make a speech. "Well, folks, I'm sorry to say 'I told you so', but it looks as if the Fighting Four-"

"Are here to stay!"

Ford's heart stopped, and the audience gasped collectively and began to cheer. The Blaziken slowly turned around to see that the Fighting Four (and Tiny) had rushed into the arena, panting and sweating, making it just in the nick of time. "No…" he whispered in horror. "_No…"_ Those idiot guards! He'd warned them not to let the four escape! Now everything he'd worked for was in jeopardy. "Wh-what…what are _you_ doing here?!"

"Why, we're here for our chance at the title," Ash said. "Why else would we be here?"

"Yeah, it's not like we got held up because a certain someone placed a _huge_ bet on us losing the match and wanted to make sure that we'd be out of the way long enough for him to win it by default or anything," Pikachu said, pointedly glaring at Ford.

"And that certain someone is you, by the way, dawg," Leo said unnecessarily.

"Back where I come from, we have a word for people that do that sort of thing, but it's too impolite to say in present company," Sasha said. "It's not impolite to say, however, that those people generally find themselves dying of dehydration, starvation, and exposure. Yes, all at once. And then we eat them. The meat is stringy and tough, but still makes for a good meal."

Wes looked sharply up at Ford, a furious look on his face. "Is that true?! The bet and the cheating thing, not the part about dying of dehydration, starvation, and exposure, then getting eaten, that is."

Ford gulped and sweated nervously, aware that several hundred very angry eyes were glaring at him. "Of-of course not! I don't know wh-where they'd get such a ridiculous idea! And I'm sure my lawyers will be able to prove that I had absolutely nothing to do with whatever they're talking about whatsoever, just in case someone got the audacious idea to sue me or something. Because it wouldn't work. And I'm completely innocent. Yeah." Nobody believed him.

"Of all the dirty…I'm not sure whether to be impressed or outraged," Gonzap snarled.

"I'm going more for outraged," Rui growled angrily. "I'll claw his eyes out and chew out his throat, and then let Night Slash eat his corpse. Now there's a womon who has the right idea about how to deal with a cheating mon!" Gonzap gave her a worried look and took a few steps away from her.

"Heh, who needs to settle this in a court of law? We'll just win the match, since the money you'll lose thanks to our victory should come pretty close to bankrupting you," Leo said with a smirk.

"Gah! No! My money!" Ford cried. "Er, is what I would be saying if such a bet existed and if I were indeed in danger of losing that much Poke', which I am not. And besides, even if such a bet _did_ exist, you can't possibly win, because Wes will whup your tails! He's the undefeated champion for a reason, you know!"

"Don't drag me into this, you cheap son of a Muk," Wes snarled.

"Hey, I'm a son of a Muk!" a Grimer in the audience shouted.

"Sorry," Wes apologized. "Anyway, if it weren't for my pride as a fighter, I might consider forfeiting…just to see what would happen to you!"

"Gah! NO!" Ford shouted. "Uh, I-I mean, you c-can't do that, Wes! What would all your fans think?!" He cursed himself for a fool. Why was he acting so nervous and panicky? He was usually so much more calm and collected and on top of the situation! But that stupid Fighting Four…they had ruined everything, laying his plans out for all to see! He growled, thinking to himself that no matter who won the match, there were going to be some more disappearances in the near future…

"Yeah, don't quit, Wes! After what we had to get through to make it here, don't we deserve a good fight?" Ash asked.

"Are you sure?" Wes asked. "If you fight me, there's a good chance I'll win, which means Ford might too."

"If we were not aware of the possibility of losing, we would not be here in the first place," said Sasha.

"Yeah, the best fight is the kind where you know you might not win, yo! That gives you all the motivation to keep fighting until you win!" Leo said. "Otherwise it'd be too easy!"

Wes smirked. "Fair enough. You've lasted this long, I guess it's only fair that we have a fight. So, which of you will I be having the honor of battling today? I've been looking forward to challenging you guys in the ring ever since I heard how good you were."

"I will fight you," Sasha volunteered, stepping forward.

Wes frowned. "Absolutely not."

Sasha blinked. "What?"

"I know you're a strong fighter—I've seen your matches—but I can honestly tell you that if you get in here, you won't last five minutes against me," Wes said. "I've trained long and hard to become stronger against Dark-types, since they're my main vulnerability, and my Signal Beam attack has become powerful enough to knock out most in one hit."

"I could dodge it," Sasha said.

"Yes, but for how long?" Wes said. "Especially since I'm smaller and faster than you. I don't mean to disparage your skills, but if you guys really want a fighting chance against me, I'd recommend another opponent, one who would be less weak to my moves. Someone…like you, Gonzales."

Ash started. "Who, me?"

"Your Steel/Fighting type keeps you from being super-weak against my Psychic attacks," Wes said. "And you'd be less affected by my Signal Beam. That doesn't mean I still wouldn't be able to beat you, but I'd have to work harder for it, which means you'd have a better chance of victory against me than any of your companions." He smirked. "Plus…I've always wanted to fight a Lucario. Ever since I heard you were in the tournament, I hoped you might be my opponent. It looks like that might be the case now. What do you say?"

"Hmm…he makes a pretty good argument," Leo commented. "His Signal Beam's been strong enough to beat even Paul, who had the advantage of super healing, a few times, meaning Night Slash would have trouble fighting him. The only moves he has that I know of that'd work really well against Gonzales are his Mud-Slap and Dig attack, and I'm pretty sure Gonzales is tough enough to withstand a little mud!"

"What about the Digging?" Pikachu asked.

"Eh, that's another story," Leo admitted.

"I…I'd love to fight you, Wes," Ash said reluctantly. "But…I promised Night Slash that she could-"

"You can do it," Sasha told him.

Ash blinked in surprise. "Huh?"

"You can do it. Fight him. I know you want to," Sasha said. "It's something you've been looking forward to ever since we got here, hasn't it?"

"Well…yeah," Ash admitted. "But-but I promised you that you could fight him! You haven't had a single solo match in all the time we've been here!"

Sasha smiled. "That's all right. I don't mind stepping down from a fight if it means someone with a better chance than I can take a crack at it. You may not be as good against Psychics as I am, but Wes's Signal Beam doesn't sound like something these old bones of mine can handle. Besides, it would make for a better show, wouldn't it? The Aura-using leader of the Fighting Four against the champion of Mt. Battle, Wes Psyche?"

"It certainly would at that," Wes said.

"Yeah, I'd definitely pay to see a fight like that!" Leo agreed. "And I'm pretty sure most of the people already did."

"Yeah, and it cost way too much!" someone in the audience shouted. "But it'll be totally worth it!" Quite a few Pokemon murmured in agreement.

"Well…all right," Ash said, giving in. "If you're really sure it's all right?"

"Most certainly," Sasha said, bowing out and moving out of the way. "You can make it up to me later, I promise."

"Go on, Gonzales," Pikachu urged him. "Considering how badly that fight with Paul went, you deserve a good, clean, and hopefully _fair_ brawl, don't you think?"

"Yeah, definitely!" Ash said, a determined expression forming on his face. "All right…Wes, I accept your challenge!"

Wes smirked. "I hoped you would. Come up here and let's get this show on the road!"

"Right!" Ash hopped onto the stage and got into a combat stance, facing off against Wes.

"Oh lord…well, Wes still has a good chance…I can still win this…" Ford muttered to himself. He cleared his throat and loudly said, "Ladies and gentlemon, I guess we're going through with this thing after all! Gonzales, the Lucario leader of the Fighting Four, versus our very own grand champ, Wes Psyche! Who will win in this battle to end all battles? Only one Pokemon can walk away with the title and the Champion's Belt when the dust has settled and all is said and done!" _And with any luck, that Pokemon'll be Wes!_ Ford thought desperately.

"This should be a good fight," Pikachu said as he and the others took a seat on a nearby bench. "Night Slash, you sure you're okay about this?"

"Perfectly," said Sasha. "Besides, he'll probably enjoy it much more than I would."

"Yeah, Gonzales is your typical hot-blooded young male warrior. This sort of battle is the kind of thing he dreams about, yo!" Leo said. Tiny sucked his pacifier in agreement.

"Hey, mind if we sit here with you guys?" Rui asked, surprising the others as she and Gonzap came over. "The view's better from over here."

"Uh, sure, I don't see why not," Pikachu said, shifting over to make room for the two newcomers. "You wouldn't rather stay away from the opposition?"

"I would, but the girl insisted," Gonzap grumbled, shaking his wings and causing his metal feathers to clatter together. "There's no arguing with this one once she gets an idea into her head."

"Oh, relax, Gonzap. I can tell these guys aren't bad mons, even if Ford's stupid dampening field keeps me from reading their Auras. I see no reason I can't hang out with them. I doubt Wes'll mind, since I'll still be rooting for him as usual," Rui said. "Hey, that baby Larvitar looks really cute in that cheerleader getup!" Tiny sulked at her.

Sasha blinked. "Our Auras?"

"Oh yeah, that's right, we heard that Rui could see Aura just like Gonzales, didn't we?" Leo recalled.

"It's true, then? You can see Pokemon's Auras?" Pikachu asked, rather interested.

Rui nodded. "Yep! I've been able to do it since birth. It's helped me a lot through life, by telling me who's good and bad, or who I should or shouldn't trust. That's part of the reason I got together with Wes, actually, I found out that he used to be a no-good thief—part of Gonzap's gang, actually—but after seeing his Aura, I realized he was really a good guy deep down, and I vowed to stay with him despite his past."

"Cool," said Leo.

"And what about Gonzap? If he was a criminal, how'd he wind up reforming like Wes and joining you?" Sasha asked.

"That's something I'd rather not talk about…" Gonzap muttered embarrassedly.

"Can you use any other Aura powers?" Pikachu asked Rui.

She shook her head sadly. "Not for lack of trying…but maybe I just haven't had the right teacher. Do you think Gonzales could have a look at me after the match?"

"Maybe…but I'm not sure how much he can help," Pikachu said apologetically. "Gonzales himself is still far from a master when it comes to Aura. He had little to no help figuring out how to use it on his own since there weren't any other Lucarios where we come from, and we haven't really run into any since then."

"He's got a really old book written by ancient Aura Guardians with all sorts of cool tricks and powers and stuff he's trying to learn from, though," Leo said.

"Ooh, really?" Rui asked.

"Is that so?" Gonzap asked, looking a little too interested.

"King K, you shouldn't have mentioned that," Pikachu hissed.

"Why not? These guys are on the level, aren't they?" Leo asked. "But anyway, even if Rui could read the book—which she probably can, since it's only visible to those with Aura-sight—she still might not be able to do anything with it. Everyone's born with Aura in them, but Lucarios and Riolus are the only species which can instinctively use it right from the start, while with everyone else you're either lucky enough to have the right genes to get the power or you're not. Seeing with Aura might be the only thing you're capable of, babe."

Rui nodded, somewhat disappointed. "I've heard as much, but I was still hoping I might find a way to do more than that."

"Well, Gonzales thinks Tiny here has the power to use Aura too, except that he's all knotted up at the moment due to some crippling emotional trauma, but once we get that sorted out and Gonzales figures out how to unlock Tiny's abilities we can drop you a line and see if we can't figure something out for you too," Leo said, trying to raise her spirits.

"Emotional trauma? Oh, so that's why he's so quiet and has such a sour look on his face. I was wondering about that," Rui said, glancing at Tiny, who glared back at her. "I figured he just hated having to wear that costume, adorable as it is."

"Did you have to tell her that, too?!" Pikachu asked in exasperation.

Leo shrugged. "I don't see how it could hurt. I don't think she'll do anything bad with the information, I trust her!"

"On what basis?!" Pikachu demanded.

"Well, she can see Aura, so she can't be that bad. Plus, she's Wes's girlfriend, and if she's good enough for him, that means she's good enough for me, too!" Leo said firmly.

Pikachu facepalmed. "Actually, that's part of what won me over too," Gonzap admitted. "That, and they beat me up until I quit crime."

"I approve," Sasha said, giving Rui an admiring look.

"Thanks!" Rui said cheerfully. "By the way, I loved that demonstration you gave the other day about how to get rid of annoying womonizers like Lobo Fuerte, I intend to use some of your techniques should something like that ever happen to me!"

"Would that include tearing off your mate's testicles if he cheats on you?" Sasha asked.

"Yep!" Rui said.

"Then I have nothing more to teach you," said Sasha. Everyone else sweatdropped.

"Hey, am I the only one who's noticed that the fight should have started by now?" Pikachu asked.

"Talking is a free action," said Leo.

Pikachu groaned. "Oh, not _that_ again…"

"So folks, it all comes down to this!" Ford said. "Mono a mono! Gonzales vs. Wes, challenger vs. champion, Winner takes all! Which of these two fighters shall win the title of champion of Mt. Battle? But I've drawn this out long enough. Let's begin the battle to end all battles in 3…2…1…go!" The crowd cheered ecstatically, relieved that Ford's overlong speech was over and they could get to the action already.

"I've been waiting a long time for a match like this, Gonzales," said Wes. "Don't disappoint me!"

"I won't," Ash promised. "Unless you expected to win, that is, in which case I'll have no choice but to disappoint you."

"Heh. Cute," said Wes. Then his eyes glowed, and he lashed out at Ash with Psychic. Ash grimaced as he was surrounded by blue light, lifted into the air, and thrown towards the edge of the arena. The ring was bigger than most of the other ones he had fought at in Mt. Battle, but Wes's Psychic was stronger than most of the others who had used it against him so far, so he was hurled quite some distance. Even so, he managed to keep from being flung off the edge by breaking free from Wes's telekinetic hold with a burst of Aura, summoning a Bone Rush staff and driving it into the ground to anchor himself and stop his flight. As he landed on his feet, wrenched his staff from the ground, and charged at Wes, the Espeon vanished into the dirt, using Dig to burrow beneath the floor. Ash paused, then stood in place, closing his eyes and focusing his senses. He couldn't use Aura-sight to pick up Wes's energy signature thanks to the dampening field, but if he concentrated really hard, he was sure he could detect Wes right before he attacked. A few moments passed, and he heard and felt nothing, but then…

The ground under his feet shifted ever so slightly…

And Ash quickly leaped out of the way as the floor collapsed where he had just been standing, leaving a gaping hole. He swung his staff through the air, expecting it to collide with Wes as he emerged from the pit, but to his surprise the Espeon did not appear. Then the ground he was standing on at that moment began to cave in, and Ash quickly hopped out of the way as that became a hole too. But then another hole began to form underneath him, and he had to jump again, only to almost drop into another trap…

As he jumped back and forth across the field, narrowly dodging hole after hole, he realized that Wes was tracking his movements and anticipating where he could land so he could Dig a pitfall to try and trap him no matter where he went. He certainly was diligent! Leo could probably learn a thing or two about Digging from him. "Wow, I could probably learn a thing or two about Digging from him!" Leo commented.

"Where'd an Espeon learn to Dig like that anyway?" Pikachu asked.

"We once spent a whole year living in a Diglett warren," Gonzap said proudly. "He learned Digging from the best."

"Why were you there to begin with?" Sasha asked.

Gonzap hesitated. "Um…I'd rather not say."

"You were on the run again, weren't you?" Rui asked, rolling her eyes with a sigh.

"Well, the Pokemafia said they'd kill us if they found us anywhere on their land again, so we figured the best place to hide would be underneath it," Gonzap said defensively.

"I can't imagine that was pleasant, considering that you're a bird and all," Leo asked. "You know, the kind of Pokemon that belongs in the open air, rather than deep down underground in tiny cramped tunnels with hundreds of pounds worth of dirt right over your head threatening to cave in on you at any minute and bury you alive."

The Skarmory shivered. "You have no idea. Why do you think I'm claustrophobic to this day?" Gonzap asked, a faraway haunted look in his eyes.

"Why didn't you just hide out on the ocean, then?" Pikachu asked. "In a boat or on an island or something."

"I get seasick," Gonzap explained. "It's not pretty." The others sweatdropped.

The floor of the stage was now covered almost completely in holes, and Ash was rapidly losing places to stand on. But he knew that if he fell down even one of the traps, Wes would swiftly take advantage of his weakness…

So what Ash needed to do was turn the tables so that the advantage was all his. He backflipped as he jumped away from the latest hole, striking the ground behind him with his Bone Rush staff and thrusting himself into the air just as the floor collapsed into yet another pitfall. While he was in the air, Ash gathered his power and fired a full-force Flash Cannon into the hole. Even if Wes evaded the initial beam, due to the tight network of tunnels he had dug there would be no way for him to escape the ensuing explosion.

And that indeed seemed to be what happened. The energy and flames from the blast shot out from all the other holes in the stage, tearing up the floor completely and leaving a rather rough crater in its place as the whole thing imploded, Wes's Digging having left more tunnels than foundation in its base. As the fire and fury died down, Ash landed on the crater floor, using Foresight to peer through the smoke clouds for Wes, whom he was certain wasn't defeated yet.

He was right, he could see a rather beaten and burnt Wes some distance away. The Espeon grinned painfully as the smoke cleared. "Nice move. That actually hurt a bit."

"Thanks," Ash said, still on guard.

"Too bad it won't hurt for much longer," Wes said, glancing up.

"Huh?" Ash followed his gaze and saw to his surprise that a glowing orb was floating above them. "That's…Sunny Day!"

"Yep. They don't call Espeon the Sun Pokemon for nothing! Watch this!" Wes closed his eyes and used Morning Sun, absorbing the artificial sunlight above him and using it to heal his wounds, getting back to peak condition in no time. "Oh, and you might want to look behind you."

Ash shook his head. "Oh no, I'm not falling for that one again!" That's when he got hit from behind by a Future Sight energy ball, which exploded and sent him flying.

"I tried to tell you," Wes said apologetically. He spun around, sweeping his tail into the ground and pulling up a clump of dirt which he flung at Ash. The Mud Slap smacked Ash in the face as he hurtled through the air, breaking his trajectory and sending him crashing to the ground. "And now you have mud all over your face."

"Very funny," Ash said. He formed an Aura Sphere and hurled it at Wes. The Espeon lithely dodged it and returned fire with a Shadow Ball…and to Ash's disbelief, this one was even BIGGER than the ones Paul had used on him. "Oh, come on!"

Rui rolled her eyes. "Mons. Why do they always think the bigger the ball, the better?" Pikachu blanched, Leo and Gonzap tried not to laugh, Sasha nodded in agreement, and Tiny stared at them blankly.

Ash quickly dove out of the way of the Shadow Ball, but Wes grabbed it with Psychic and threw it at Ash from behind, causing it to smash into his back and explode. "Gaaah!"

As the Lucario fell forward, Wes charged towards him, his forehead glowing blue as he charged up a Zen Headbutt. Gritting his teeth, Ash caught himself before he could hit the ground and shifted sideways as Wes lunged at him, causing the Espeon to breeze past. He twirled around and smashed a Metal Claw into Wes's belly before he could go past him completely, knocking him into the air. Ash jumped up to pursue him…

And flew right into a cloud of Swift stars that Wes hurled at him. Ash flinched and shielded himself with his arms, the stars cutting into his skin and fur and knocking him back to the ground. Wes grabbed Ash's body with Psychic and used the power of his mind to push it even further into the ground, causing a crater to form around Ash as he was rather painfully pressed into the floor. Ash broke free from Wes's hold with an Aura burst, but not in time to stop the Espeon from firing a Hyper Beam straight down at him. Ash pulled himself out of the crater and ran to get clear just before the Hyper Beam could hit him, the energy shot smashing into the ground and exploding with a blast that sent Ash flying. He rolled as he hit the ground to minimize the impact, and immediately threw an Aura Sphere at Wes as he straightened back up. His energy momentarily drained by the Hyper Beam, Wes was unable to evade the Aura Sphere and got hit full-on, the blast flinging him into the Sunny Day orb overhead and causing _that_ to explode…unfortunately, Wes quickly used Morning Sun just before he collided with the solar sphere, causing him to absorb the energy from the explosion and use it to heal himself even as the blast threw him back towards the ground.

Ash ran towards him as Wes plummeted to the floor, but the Espeon threw a swarm of Swift stars at him to try and slow him down. Using his Aura-enhanced reflexes, Ash's paws shot back and forth before him, snatching each Swift star out of the air before it could hit him and gathering a collection of them in his paws, which he then infused with a bit of his own Aura to turn them blue—somewhat draining his own energy in the process—and hurled back at Wes. Unfortunately, Wes grabbed the throwing stars with Psychic and forced them to fly at each other, exploding and throwing up a big cloud of smoke between the two fighters. Ash used Foresight to peer through the smog to find Wes, spotting him just as the Espeon charged up and fired another Hyper Beam at him.

Ash dodged to the side, and returned fire with a Flash Cannon. Unable to dodge, Wes quickly threw up a Light Screen, causing a yellow energy box to form around him and protect him from the energy burst. Undeterred, Ash quickly ran over on the trail of his beam and shattered the box with a single blow thanks to Brick Break. Before Ash could follow up with an attack on Wes, however, the Espeon quickly used Dig to burrow out of the way. Ash tried to grab the Espeon's tail before he could escape, but wasn't quick enough. "Is there a point to this, Wes?" Ash yelled in annoyance so that Wes could hear him from beneath the ground. "I've already blown up the floor once; I have no problem with doing it again!"

He didn't get a chance to. He suddenly noted the ground underneath him getting uncomfortably warm, but not in time to get out of the way of the Hyper Beam Wes fired up at him from below. Ash screamed in pain as the ultra-powerful energy blast engulfed him. "AAAAAAHHHHH!"

"Oooh, looks like a bad hit for Gonzales, folks!" Ford observed, trying his hardest not to laugh gleefully. _Hohoho, Wes my boy, you may not want to help me, but you're certainly not making it difficult for me to win my bet!_

"Whoa, that looked pretty bad!" Leo cried.

"It was…but Gonzales'll shake it off," Pikachu said. "Wes's attacks are hard-hitting, but they don't seem to be quite as bad as Paul's."

"That's because Paul's a dirty cheat," Rui said nastily. "I heard that ninja Buneary failed to kill him. I wish she had, you have no idea how many times Wes has been rushed to the emergency room after a fight with that psychopath!"

"Now, now, Rui, that's not the kind of thing a girl like yourself should be talking about," Gonzap said sternly. "Killing someone is a very serious business and not to be taken lightly. If you really mean it, though…well, Nurse Joy can't be watching his convalescing form _all_ the time, if you know what I mean." Rui considered this, while the others gave her disturbed looks, aside from Sasha, who thought this was a very good idea.

As Ash fell to his knees, his fur blackened and sizzling, Wes burst out of the ground behind him and flung Mud Slaps at the back of his head. Wes was amazed when Ash abruptly spun around, lashing out with a foot and kicking the clumps of dirt away. He had to jump around to keep from being hit by the return volley. "You can still fight?"

Ash grinned, wincing slightly as he got back to his feet, burnt pieces of fur flaking off of him. "Of course! It'll take more than that to put me down for good!"

Wes smirked. "That's a relief. I was worried this was going to be over too soon."

"Ha, no chance of that!" Ash assured him.

"Then you might want to look behind you," Wes said.

"Oh, thanks," Ash said, glancing over his shoulder to watch out for an impending Future Sight. The second his head was turned, Wes surged forward with a Zen Headbutt. Ash only barely managed to suck in his stomach and lunge to the side. "Whoa! Hey! I can't believe I fell for that one again…"

"Neither can I," said Wes, grabbing Ash with Psychic and hurling him away.

Ash burst his way free of the Espeon's telekinetic grip in record time, landing on his feet and skidding to a stop some distance away as he charged up and fired a Flash Cannon. Rather than try to defend against it with Light Screen (since he knew Ash would only break through it), Wes countered with Hyper Beam. The two beams collided with each other, golden and steel-white energy crackling and surging furiously as each tried to overcome the other, both their masters pumping more power into their respective beams in an attempt to beat their rival. Much to Ash's alarm, Wes's Hyper Beam seemed to be gaining more ground against him, no matter how much more energy he poured into his Flash Cannon. He only had seconds before his beam would be overwhelmed and Wes's attack hit him. His mind raced, trying to think of a way out of this.

And then he got an idea. He stopped firing Flash Cannon and immediately used Double Team, the Hyper Beam shooting right through one of his illusory clones. He didn't stop there, however, he continued making copies of himself until Wes found himself surrounded by a rather large ring of Ash clones, all of which started charging up an Aura Sphere. The Espeon smirked. "Cute. But two can play at that game." His figure blurred and split into several dozen Double Team images of his own, creating a second, smaller ring within the one formed by the false Lucarios, each Wes duplicate facing off with an Ash duplicate. The Espeons formed Shadow Balls and fired them at the same time the Lucarios threw their Aura Spheres, the two energy volleys colliding and exploding with enough force to shake the entire arena.

Ford scowled as a huge cloud of smoke engulfed the stage, preventing anyone from seeing what was going on in there. The clashing of energy blasts and the smack of flesh against flesh could be heard from within the cloud, but it was impossible for the audience to see what was happening. The Pokemon in the stands started muttering and complaining, wondering who was winning.

The closest Pokemon to the fighters, naturally, had their own opinions. "Gonzales is totally whupping Wes's tail!" Leo said enthusiastically.

"No way, Wes is so definitely beating Gonzales into the ground!" Rui retorted.

"Nuh-uh!" Leo said.

"Yuh-huh!" Rui said.

"Nuh-uh!" Leo said.

"Yuh-huh!" Rui said.

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yuh-huh!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yuh-huh!"

"Nuh-huh!"

"Yuh-"

Tiny pulled out his pacifier. "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he screamed at the top of his lungs. Leo and Rui winced and shut up.

"Good job, Tiny," Pikachu thanked the Larvitar. "They were giving me a headache." Tiny stuck his pacifier back in his mouth and sucked on it.

"Was that really necessary?" Rui complained.

"Yes," Pikachu, Sasha, and Gonzap said. Rui sulked.

"Realistically, though, who do you suppose _is_ winning?" Pikachu asked.

"Both Gonzales and Wes seemed to be pretty fairly matched…it could go either way," Sasha said.

"Yeah, fair…in that Wes totally outclasses Gonzales in every way!" Gonzap boasted.

"Gonzales is stronger than you think," Sasha warned him.

"Oh yeah?" Gonzap sneered.  
"Yes," said Sasha.

"Oh yeah?" Gonzap sneered.

"Yes," said Sasha.

"Oh yeah?" Gonzap sneered.

"Yes-" Sasha started.

"Enough, both of you! We're not starting that again!" Pikachu snapped.

"Yes we are," Leo said, just to be contrary.

"No we're not," Pikachu said.

"Yes we are," Leo said.

"No we're not," Pikachu said.

"Yes we are," Leo said.

Pikachu electrocuted him. "No, we're not," the mouse said angrily.

"Ouch," Leo said.

The smoke finally started clearing from the stage. "The smoke is finally starting to clear from the stage, folks!" said a relieved Ford. "Now maybe we can see the action again! And…WOW! Look at them go!"

Wes lunged at Ash with a Zen Headbutt but Ash, who was holding his Bone Rush staff, held it out horizontally before him and thrust it outwards, smacking Wes in the head and knocking him back. As he tumbled through the air, Wes hurled Swift stars at him, but Ash twirled his staff in his paws, deflecting the stars all over the place. He hurled his staff at Wes like a boomerang. Wes caught it with Psychic and hurled it back at Ash. "Lucarios aren't supposed to learn Bonemerang!" he called.

Ash blinked in surprise. "We're not?" He was so distracted by this revelation that the returning staff bonked him on the head. "Ow!"

"Now that all the smoke's gone, I think it's time for some nicer weather!" Wes said, using Sunny Day to fire another solar energy orb into the air.

"Oh no you don't!" Ash said, throwing an Aura Sphere at the orb, destroying it before it could heal Wes. "I've had enough of opponents who keep healing themselves!"

Wes shrugged. "Tch, if you insist. Oh, and you might want to look behind you." Ash's eye twitched. He backhanded the Future Sight energy ball shooting towards his back before it could hit him without even turning to look at it. The energy ball landed on the ground some distance away and exploded. Wes's eyebrows rose in surprise. "Huh. Guess you're not gonna fall for that one anymore, are you?"

"No," Ash growled.

"Then will you fall for this?" Wes asked, using Psychic on Ash.

Ash immediately tried to counter with an Aura burst…and was surprised when the momentum from Wes's telekinetic grasp sent him tumbling forwards, the Espeon having been pulling Ash _towards_ him rather than throwing him away for a change. Wes used this moment of surprise to dash forward and smash his forehead into Ash's gut with Zen Headbutt, causing the Lucario to cough up some blood as he was flung backwards and hit the ground hard. Rather than firing a beam attack, Wes chose instead to use a Mud Slap while Ash was down, splattering him with more dirt and weakening him further.

Ash flipped back onto his feet and shook his body, sending bits of mud flying all over the place as he dislodged it from his fur. "I'm really gonna need a shower when this is over," he complained.

"That's not all you'll need," Wes said, using Swift.

Ash sprouted Metal Claws and sliced and diced the stars, turning them into glowing motes of light that quickly dissipated. "Ha! You'll need to do better than that!"

"Oh, I intend to!" said Wes, using Double Team to surround Ash with images of himself as they all started charging Hyper Beam.

"Ha, not this trick again!" Ash scoffed, leaping into the air just before the Hyper Beams fired, causing them to converge and explode underneath him. He fired a Flash Cannon downwards at a diagonal slant, sweeping it all around him to wipe out all the Wes doubles. The real Wes, however, did not get hit because he had Dug at the last second to avoid the beam. Ash landed and lobbed an Aura Sphere down Wes's bolt hole, but the Espeon popped out of the ground some distance behind Ash and shoved him forwards with Psychic, causing Ash to trip over and fall into the hole after his Sphere, causing him to get caught in the explosion. He was flung into the air, his smoking form trailing blue fire as it hit the ground hard enough to dent it…but he laughed and got back to his feet, red eyes burning with delight. This was one of the best fights he had ever had in a long time, and he was enjoying every second of it! Wes laughed as he saw the look in Ash's eyes, feeling exactly the same way, and rushed towards the Lucario to keep the fight going so that the fun wouldn't end just yet.

"Wes is really fired up," Gonzap commented. "I haven't seen him put this much of himself into a match in quite a while…aside from his fights with Paul, but that's a completely different thing. When you're fighting Paul, it's less a glorious display of the sweet science of fighting for the mutual enjoyment of all than a desperate struggle for your own survival. Your friend Gonzales—while certainly destined to lose—is bringing out the best in Wes, and Wes is doing the same for him."

Pikachu nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I can tell Gonzales is really enjoying himself out there. He loves a good scrap, and it's obvious that Wes is forcing him to really work for every hit he manages to land. It's this sort of challenge that makes him feel more alive, and reach his fullest potential!"

"More fights should be like this, yo," Leo said. "I mean, strip away all the crowds and the publicity and contracts and money and glamour and endorsement deals and stuff, and what you have here is a decent fight between Pokemon who honestly respect each other's skills and wouldn't hold a grudge against the other for beating them, save for a renewed desire to become stronger and fight them again in the future!"

Sasha nodded. "Gonzales and Wes could both care less about all the money they're making or losing in this fight, they're not in it for the fame or glory, but for the sheer joy of matching their prowess against somebody just as good as them."

"Actually, I like the money," Gonzap said.

"As do I. It buys lots of stuff," Rui said. "But I understand what you're saying. Wes'd probably compete in tournaments like this even if there weren't really big prizes, just to know he fought against someone really worth fighting. Although the money's nice too."

"Yeah, definitely," Leo agreed. "Money's always nice. So long as you don't get it through bad means, yo."

"Actually-" Gonzap started, but everyone glared at him and he quickly shut up.

As the crowd thrilled with every blow and dodge and clever maneuver the two fighters pulled on each other, only Ford remained the only Pokemon in the room who did not smile. Things just weren't going as planned. Gonzales was lasting much longer against Wes than Ford had expected, and actually seemed to be giving the veteran fighter a run for his Poke'. This was a bad thing for Ford, because if Gonzales won, then _he'd_ have to go running after some Poke', because he had bet almost everything he had on Wes winning, confident that the Fighting Four would throw the fight if offered enough cash. It had certainly seemed to work on them before…

But then they had grown a conscience, and now nothing was as certain as he had once thought it to be. If he were going to protect his investments, he'd have to think of something quickly to turn the fight in Wes's favor. And he had just the idea… "Folks, this sure is one doozy of a match, isn't it?" Ford boomed, gaining everyone's attention. "What do you say we turn things up a notch and make this fight even _more_ interesting?"

As the audience exchanged confused looks, Ash and Wes paused in their fight to glare up at Ford. "What's he up to?" Ash wondered.

"Nothing good…" Wes growled.

"Let's bring on the heat…with a CAAAAAAGE MAAAAAATCH!" Ford declared. The crowd starting cheering excitedly, always loving to witness one of Mt. Battle's greatest feats of engineering for fighting and entertainment purposes.

"A cage match? No way! He can't do that, can he?!" Pikachu cried.

"That's changing the rules and the setting of a match after it's already started, without any prior indication that this fight would be anything more than a simple duel of Pokemon against Pokemon!" said the alarmed Sasha.

"Actually, there's nothing in the rules about it…" Leo said anxiously.

"It doesn't happen often, but as the guy in charge of this place, Ford has the authority to change the setup of a match once it's already in progress if he thinks it'll make for good publicity…and nobody else seems to be complaining about the abrupt shift in plans," Gonzap said apologetically.

"Except that the only reason he's doing this is probably to give Wes an advantage, which I would normally support if it weren't cheating and for totally selfish reasons!" Rui said furiously. "Ohhhh, that Blaziken is going to get a piece of my mind!"

"An advantage? What do you mean? Because Wes has more experience in a closed ring and Ash hasn't?" Pikachu asked.

"No," Leo said, horror slowly dawning on his face. "It's because cage matches involve _lava_, and Ash is weak against fire and extreme heat!" Pikachu said a very bad word. Tiny sucked his pacifier in worry.

"He can't do that! Can he do that?!" an outraged Ash asked Wes.

"I don't like it, but I'm afraid he can," Wes said, glaring angrily up at Ford. "That dirty…come on, we have to get to higher ground."

"Huh? Why?" Ash asked as Wes started running up the slopes of the giant crater that most of the stage had become.

"Because in a moment, there won't _be_ any ground!" Wes called back. Ash heard the crowd gasp and felt the ground start to heat up beneath his paws. He turned around to see white-hot lava bubbling up from the floor behind him, and it was plain to see that more was on its way. His eyes bulging from their sockets, Ash yelped and high-tailed it after Wes, the molten rock hot on his heels (pardon the pun).

They reached the top of the crater just in time to see metal bars shoot out of the ground at the edge of the stage, forming a ring that encircled the entire pit. The bars rose over their heads and arched towards the middle of the ring, converging in the center. Horizontal bars shot out from the sides of these pillars, slamming into each other and forming a gigantic cage completely enclosing the stage, trapping Ash and Wes inside. "There's no way out!" Ash cried in alarm, looking over his shoulder to see the lava rapidly rising towards them, filling up the crater and creating a great pool of liquid fire. "What do we do? We're about to become crispy critters!"

Wes gave Ash a surprised look. "Don't tell me you've never seen a cage match before!"

"Okay, I won't. Why?" Ash asked him.

Suddenly, the bars began humming and glowing with energy. Ash was yanked off his feet, causing him to flip through the air and slam into the cage wall feet-first…and much to his surprise, he stuck there. There was some kind of energy field in place that formed a solid surface of sorts that he could stand on without slipping through the holes in the bars. That same energy field was somehow keeping his body parallel to the ground below without falling. "Wh-what the heck?!"

"Artificial gravity generator," Wes said, standing next to Ash. Ash felt somewhat disoriented as he stared at the Espeon, who, like himself, was standing on the force field/cage wall like it was solid ground while just below them (and seemingly sideways!), the lava completely consumed the stage. Ash could feel the sheer heat rolling off the molten surface, causing him to break out into a sweat and begin to drain his strength away. He was so close to the lava that if he reached out an arm he could probably touch it, which would not be a good idea.

He cautiously took a few steps back. "Artificial gravity?"

"Yeah, what kind of match would it be if the fighters were burned alive by lava? Other than some Fire and Rock-types, who can handle it, that is," Wes said.

"I would have expected to be fighting on some kind of floating platforms over the lava…not to be sticking to the walls!" Ash said.

"Relax, it's just like fighting on solid land. Except the walls here are curved and made of force fields and gravity is warped so that you can run all the way around without falling into the lava unless something malfunctions. And you can't get a ring out, so you have to fight until someone either passes out or surrenders. And you have to watch out for fireballs. Speaking of which, you might want to take a few steps back," Wes warned Ash.

Ash quickly jumped back as the surface of the lava beneath them swelled and burst, sending a huge fireball shooting towards him. He had gotten out of the way just in time, however, so the ball of flame rocketed past him and exploded harmlessly against the cage ceiling far above them. "Whoa!"

"Yeah, those take some getting used to," Wes acknowledged.

"That's so cool," Leo whispered in awe, referring to how Ash and Wes were effortlessly walking on the cage walls.

"How is such a thing possible?" murmured the astounded Sasha.

"That's amazing," said Pikachu. "But why do they have the lava? Couldn't they just activate that gravity thing so they fight on the walls while leaving the floor alone? I mean, if something happened to the machines keeping them up there, they could die!"

"Don't worry, there's another force field just over the surface of the lava that's designed to catch anyone in case they fall or jumped so high that they broke free of the gravity well. It's one-way, so it keeps people from dropping into the lava while still allowing those fireballs to pop out," Gonzap assured him.

"And what if _that_ force field fails?" Pikachu pressed.

"Then we'd have a problem," Rui admitted. "But don't worry, the generators get checked all the time, so nothing bad will happen. I hope." Pikachu grimaced, not reassured.

"And if that weren't intense enough, folks…why not send in the flying guns?" Ford asked. The near unanimous roar of agreement was all the approval he needed.

"The what now?" Ash asked.

"Those," Wes said as the intersecting bars at the top of the cage retracted briefly, creating an opening through which two large metal spheres levitated down.

The spheres floated down to around the center of the room, unbothered by the fireballs bursting from the lava beneath them, and sprouted rather nasty-looking protrusions from their sides. The spheres pivoted, their protrusions pointing at Ash and Wes, and started humming ominously. Getting bad vibes, Ash jumped out of the way just in time, as the protrusions lit up and launched several dozen rapid-fire energy bullets at him. "Ack!"

"They're invincible, by the way," Wes said, dancing back and forth to avoid the shots from the turret that was shooting at him. "So there's no point in attacking them."

"Oh, come on!" Ash snapped, running along the curve of the walls to get out of the line of fire of the turret that seemed to have picked him to be its personal Tauros'-eye, only to nearly get hit by a fireball that burst from the lava right in front of him. He skidded to a stop to keep from running into the flames, but that allowed the gun to catch up to him and fire quite a few shots into his back, knocking him to the ground. They weren't strong enough to penetrate his skin, but they sure packed a punch, and would probably leave quite a few bruises later. "Ow…this is ridiculous!" Ash cried as he flipped back to his feet and kept running, the turret having continued shooting even after knocking him to the ground. "I thought we were supposed to fight each other, not the arena!"

"We are," Wes said, his eyes glowing.

Ash braced himself, only to realize Wes hadn't attacked him. "Huh? Wait, what are you…" He trailed off when he saw the flying guns glow and float over to Wes, swiveling about to point their barrels at him. "Oh, you have _got_ to be kidding me."

"Nope," Wes said, flanked by his new weapons.

"That's just cruel!" Ash cried.

"You're just saying that because you're the one without heavy artillery on your side," Wes said. "You might want to start running now."

"Fuck!" Ash yelled as both cannons opened fire. He started running for his life. Wes followed at a more leisurely pace, the cannons floating ahead of him while adjusting their aim to track the moving Ash.

"He can't do that! Can he do that?" Pikachu asked incredulously.

"It looks as if he is," Sasha said.

"Oh wow, I haven't seen the Handless Desperado in a long time! Dude, this is so cool!" Leo said.

"King K, Ash could lose the match!" Pikachu said in exasperation.

Leo hesitated for a moment. "Well, yeah, but…he'd be losing in an awesome way!" Pikachu facepalmed.

"Hmm…I'm not sure I like this," Gonzap said, surprising them. "Ford probably sent those guns in because he _knew_ Wes would use them against Gonzales. Just like he started the cage match to give Wes an unfair advantage. He's still angling to win that bet…"

"Well, yeah, but what's Wes supposed to do? Give up? Not grab the guns so that they would shoot at him rather than somebody else?" Rui pointed out. "He's never been one to give himself a handicap if he doesn't need it. It wouldn't be respectful either to him or to his opponent if he didn't battle at full power."

"One could argue that it's not respectful for an opponent if Wes telekinetically grabs a pair of invincible energy cannons and starts shooting at them," Pikachu grumbled.

Ash couldn't help feeling the same way as he desperately tried to defend himself from Wes's cannons. The Espeon was playing it smart, sending one turret ahead to houndoom Ash while he kept the other one close to him to use as a shield against Ash's attacks as well as the fireballs from the lava below. Ash discovered, much to his dismay, that the guns truly were as indestructible as advertised; he had tried hitting the gun attacking him with Aura Sphere, Flash Cannon, and even—much to his reluctance—Dark Pulse, but none of the attacks seemed to slow the floating weapon in the least. His attempts to circumvent the cannons and attack Wes in hopes that by hurting him he could break the Espeon's control on the guns ended in failure as well, since Wes just maneuvered the cannon he held close to him so it would deflect any projectile Ash hurled at him, and with both guns firing incessantly at Ash there was no way for him to get close enough for a physical attack. The steady stream of energy bullets from multiple angles was forcing him to retreat closer and closer to the lava, where the heat was so strong that his sweat-dampened fur was actually drying up, the sweat evaporating just as quickly as it formed. The proximity of the liquid flame was wearing Ash down, causing his energy to fade with every inch he was forced to move closer to it…and the occasional fireballs didn't help either. Ash had been forced to summon a Bone Rush staff to use as a shield to deflect the bullets, since he was rapidly running out of places to run.

"Why are you doing this?!" Ash shouted over the roar of the lava and the staccato of the gunshots. "I thought you didn't want Ford to win!"

"I don't!" Wes yelled back.

"Then why are you using the cannons?! You know the only reason he sent them in here is so you could use them against me! By taking control of them, you're helping him win! I'm not sure I can last much longer against this _and_ the heat!" Ash said, his lips already dry and cracked from the ultra-high temperature.

"Helping him win?" Wes laughed. "What, you don't still think he has a chance of winning his bet, do you?"

Ash blinked, so surprised that he almost dropped his guard and got hit by a bullet. Several of them, actually. Fortunately, he raised his staff in time to deflect them. "Huh?"

Wes smirked. "Think about it! You accused Ford of trying to keep you from getting to the match so that he could win a tremendous amount of Poke' in front of millions of people, both here in the arena and watching the match around the world! If Ford had kept his cool he might have convinced people that you were just making an excuse for your lateness, but the fact that he did such a bad job of hiding it, as well as the fact that he abruptly decided to change the format of the match right in the middle of our battle in such a way as to give me an obvious advantage, makes it pretty clear he's doing his damnedest to make sure I win! Whoever he made his wager with are going to insist he forfeit and pay up due to blatant cheating, and even if his lawyers managed to keep him from losing everything…" He grinned fiercely. "I don't intend on seeing Ford get a single Poke' from this fight!"

"What do you mean?" Ash asked.

"I've put up with a lot of TS from that Blaziken over the years, but this is the last straw! I'm not going to be used as a cash Miltank for that greedy bastard anymore! Win or lose, I'm going to quit Mt. Battle once this fight is over…and with my nondisclosure agreement no longer in effect, I'll be free to give all the dirt I've got on Ford to the Pokemon who'd be most interested in learning about it! I'm pretty influential in certain circles, and have a few friends in high—and low—places. That's an advantage of being an ex-crook!" Wes said. "So even if Ford _does_ win his bet, I'm going to make sure that enough people learn the truth about some of his more dishonest business dealings to bankrupt him and put an end to his tricks once and for all!"

Ford went pale as he heard this, realizing the truth in Wes's statement. _No! I've overplayed my hand…now EVERYONE can see how much I've been interfering in this event! I could lose _everything!He growled and tightened his grip on his cane. _I'll say it again…No matter who wins or loses this match…there's going to be a few more 'disappearances,' if I have anything to say about it…_

Ash's eyes widened in astonishment as he comprehended Wes's plan. "Then…if you're not helping Ford, the reason you're using those cannons…"

"Is because this is my last match in this arena, and I want to go out with a bang, using everything I've got against a worthy opponent who's doing his best to keep me on my toes," Wes said. "It's the sort of thing fighters like us live for, isn't it?"

"Yeah…definitely!" Ash said, understanding exactly what Wes meant. "Then if you're giving it your all…so will I! Don't count me out of this yet!"

"I wouldn't dream of it!" Wes said with a laugh. "So then…show me what you've got!"

"I intend to!" Ash said, noticing the lava directly beneath him beginning to show a telltale swelling. While Wes had been talking—and shooting--Ash had been formulating a plan that he thought had a pretty good chance of winning the match for him. And the fireball that suddenly burst out from the lava and rushed up towards him provided just what he needed to start things off. He quickly hopped backwards, causing the fireball to fly up past him and give him a second of cover from the constant cannon fire. That second was all he needed to use Double Team, creating a dozen illusory doubles of himself in a line going from the top to the bottom of the cage.

He rushed forward as soon as the fireball was safely out of the way, betting that neither Wes nor the cannons would be able to pick him out from the fakes. He was right, with a frown Wes had the cannons sweep their fire back and forth, their bullets spraying all over the place and quickly destroying each mirage one by one. In moments only Ash was left, but by that point he had gotten to where he needed to be, only feet away from the cannon Wes had sent out to harry him, and lunged at it while its barrel was pointed away, having just finished off the last of the clones. He threw all his weight against the sphere, pulling it closer to the ground and swiveling it around to point at Wes. The Espeon quickly moved the second cannon into position to shield him from the first's fire, the streams of energy bullets colliding harmlessly in midair. He then tried to rip the metal orb out of Ash's paws, but the Lucario had a firm grip on the thing's sides, and all Wes wound up doing was pulling both the gun and Ash closer to him. Cursing, Wes tried to do the opposite, pushing both the cannon and Ash away. However, Ash dug his heels into the force field, using whatever traction he could get to stand his ground and keep firing his new weapon at Wes. Wes growled and pushed harder with all his psychic power, and Ash pushed back with all the strength in his body, knowing that he only had to hold out for a little longer…

And then the moment he had been waiting for arrived. The lava beneath Wes rippled and suddenly spat a fireball at him. Without thinking, he automatically swiveled his cannon down to shield himself from the fire…

And was immediately struck by the bullets from Ash's gun. He cried out in pain, losing his concentration and with it his grip on the cannons. Ash nearly fell over forwards without Wes's will pushing him back, and the Espeon didn't have time to recuperate his mental abilities now that _both_ guns, Ash's and the one that had shielded Wes from the fireball, were shooting at him. However, Ash knew that Wes would soon regain his composure and with it control of the guns, so he had only moments to implement his plan. Pressing his hands against the smooth surface of the sphere he was holding, Ash fired off a Force Palm attack. The Aura blast sent the gun flying forward, the weird gravity of the cage mingling with its own antigravity generators so that it traveled in a straight—and by straight, I mean curved, due to the layout of the ring—line towards Wes. The Espeon quickly jumped out of the way, but soon discovered that he had never been the target. The cannon flew past him and slammed into the other gun, sending it tumbling towards the lava (only to bounce off the force field covering the fiery floor) while the flung cannon rebounded and slammed into Wes's side, firing dozens of energy bullets into his hide at point-blank range. He cried out in pain as the bullets burned into his side, then angrily knocked the gun away with his tail.

He was so distracted by the cannon that he didn't notice Ash's approach until it was too late, and the Lucario was suddenly standing right next to him, blazing fist drawn back for a final blow. "Well played," Wes said, impressed by Ash's strategy.

"Thanks," Ash replied. He hit Wes so hard that the Espeon actually broke free from the gravity field, causing him to fly all the way across the ring, get snagged by the gravity well on the opposite side, and slam into the cage wall. He stirred, and it looked as if he might be about to get up and make a comeback…

When an Aura Sphere from Ash and a fireball from the lava hit Wes at the same time, creating a double explosion that finished him off. His limp body, fur badly singed by the blast, was flung to the ground—er, wall--nearby and lay still in defeat. Ash took a deep breath and relaxed, knowing it was all over. "Wes…that was a good fight…thanks. I don't think I could've battled a better guy." He grunted and fell to one knee, the heat and the exhaustion of battle finally taking its toll on his body. "And I definitely…hurt less than I did against Paul. That's a plus, too."

The reaction from the crowd was mixed. Some gasped in horror at the defeat of the champion. Others cheered enthusiastically at the triumph of the underdog. Surprisingly, just about everyone watching from the nearby bench was cheering as well. "YES! He did it!" Pikachu yelled triumphantly, nearly jumping out of his seat for joy.

"I knew he had it in him!" said the very pleased Sasha.

"Haha, isn't this great? Your daddy just defeated one of the greatest fighters in the world! Bet you're feeling good, huh Tiny?" Leo asked the Larvitar. Tiny stared at him blankly and sucked on his pacifier. Leo sweatdropped. "Okay, maybe not…"

"Damn!" Gonzap swore. "I can't believe he lost! The boy was at the top of his game!"

"Which means that he lost to someone stronger than he was," Rui said, seeming oddly calm for someone whose boyfriend had just been knocked from his position of champion of Mt. Battle. "There's no shame in that, especially since they were both pretty friendly about it. This just means Wes is gonna have to train really hard and try again some other time. When that happens, Gonzales will lose for sure!"

"You're taking this rather well," Gonzap commented, somewhat puzzled.

Rui shrugged. "Eh, I was getting tired of living in a volcano anyway. It's always hot, and the sulfur agitates my sinuses. I'll miss the money, though…"

"Yeah," Gonzap said wistfully. "The money was really nice. And so were the womon."

Rui snorted. "What womon? You haven't been on a date in years!"

"No, but I've seen a few chicks…from a distance…while on top of a building…" Gonzap muttered. She raised an eyebrow. "Don't judge me!"

Ford's reaction was probably the most dramatic. "No…nooooooooooo!" he wailed. "Th-this can't be happening! In fact…in fact, yeah, it's not happening! I declare this victory invalid! Ash loses! Wes wins and is still the champ! Yeah! So suck on that!"

"What?!" Ash cried incredulously.

"You can't do that!" Pikachu shouted angrily.

"Of course I can! I can do whatever the hell I want! I'm in charge of Mt. Battle, and if you don't like it, then you can go fight in some other second-rate arena!" Ford snapped, losing it. That's when the crowd started booing loudly. "Wh-what?!"

"Cheater!" someone yelled.

"Sore loser!" someone else yelled.

"How many other fights have you tried to rig?"

"You suck!"

"You're right, we should all go to some second-rate arena, because at least _there_ they play by the rules!"

"I can't believe I spent Poke' on this shit, I came here to see a fight, not for some hack of a manager to rig matches and try to steal our money!"

Ford's jaw dropped. He had not expected this, had never thought that the crowd might actually turn against him. "But-but…I-I was just-"

"Get the hell out of here!"

"We don't want to come here anymore, if this is how all the fights are going to end!"

"You can suck on this, Ford!"

The audience started throwing things at the Blaziken. Popcorn, hot dogs, soda, bags of chips, hunks of meat, even feces in a few cases. Startled, Ford quickly had to duck and maneuver his floating platform about to keep from being splattered by the detritus. "Gah! Fine, you stinking turncoats! You can have your new champion, but don't think you'll have old Ford to kick around anymore…or your shiny Lucario, either! This isn't over!" He quickly flew his platform up into the rafters and out of sight, fleeing the scene.

The audience burst into a raucous cheer that shook the arena, overjoyed that they had managed to rout the greedy owner and, in some small way, taken part in the drama that was part of Mt. Battle. "That was awesome!" Leo cried. "Score one for the bystanders!"

"I didn't think they had it in them," said an impressed Gonzap.

"Perhaps they have learned something from watching our fights after all," Sasha suggested. "That a true fight isn't all about money or endorsements, but that there must be a modicum of honor, fairness, and respect as well."

Rui nodded in agreement. "Definitely! Though I wonder why it's taken them this long to figure that out, when Wes has also been doing the same thing in his matches for years…"

"It was probably the impetus of Ford being such a cheating bastard that drove it home for them. That and the realization that he's probably been stealing their money in rigged matches like this for years," Pikachu said.

Leo nodded. "Yeah, losing their money's usually a good way to get people pissed off."

"I'm going to be losing a sweet source of income since Wes is no longer the champ, and I'm certainly pissed about it," Gonzap grumbled.

"Oh relax, we've done with less before," Rui pointed out.

"Yeah, but I was really comfortable with the luxury lifestyle!" Gonzap complained. "I don't know how I'll ever go back to sleeping on mattresses that aren't filled with Swablu down or eating birdseed that doesn't have gold flakes in it again…" They sweatdropped.

"Does this mean I won and I get to wear the big fancy belt now?" Ash asked, having walked over to the cage wall closest to them, carrying Wes over his shoulders even though he looked like he might pass out at any minute.

"I think so," said Pikachu.

"You've earned it!" Rui said, holding up the belt in question.

"Good. Can somebody tell me how to get out of here, then? I wouldn't mind trying it on at least once before I get rushed to the Pokemon Center to recover," said Ash.

There was an awkward pause. The others glanced at each other. "Uh…" said Leo.

"That's actually a good question…" said Sasha.

Ash sighed. "Nobody has any idea how to turn this thing off, do they?" They shook their heads regretfully. "Lovely. Why am I not surprised?" Ash yelped and hopped away as a fireball nearly scorched his tail. "Could somebody tell me whose bright idea it was to put a freaking lava pit in here in the first place?!"

…

Meanwhile, in Pokemon Square…

"So, you need to go to Twilight's Edge?" Raiki asked Father Yamiri. He, the priest, Sabrina, Aaron, and the three legendary dragons were currently in the town's temple. Yamiri had set some of his lesser priests to setting up everything they needed to perform the summoning ritual and painting the complex spell design on the bottom floor while Aaron and Sabrina supervised, the dragons watched on with curiosity (or in Rayquaza's case, an odd dread), and a number of townsPokemon watched the proceedings in wonder and awe from the upper levels. Yamiri was conversing with Raiki while packing his bags for the long journey ahead of him. "I know that place. It's that town of Ghost Pokemon in Sinnorre, isn't it? My grandfather Susanoo went there to slay the eight-headed serpent that was plaguing the residents, the fearsome Yamatorochi." He frowned. "Has the demon returned? Is that why you are needed? If so, maybe I should come with you. A Thunderblade defeated the beast once, so you might need one to do so again."

Yamiri shook his head. "No, Raiki, you are needed far too much here, I could never ask that of you. In any event, it doesn't seem as if the serpent has been resurrected. The events that are occurring in Twilight's Edge do not fit Yamatorochi's modus operandi. He forced the town to sacrifice one spirit to him once a year on the night of the full moon, lest he swallow them all in one gulp. What's going on now, on the other paw, is that Ghosts are vanishing in broad twilight at random, at all hours of the eternal night, with no visible rhyme or reason to who gets taken, when, or why. The only reason to believe that Yamatorochi might somehow be involved is that each abduction is immediately preceded by a ring of the bell from the abandoned temple where the serpent used to make his lair, the same bell that rang whenever the beast was ready to feed back at the height of its power. They have tried to investigate the temple, but…"

"Let me guess. Nobody who's gone out has ever returned?" Raiki finished.

Yamiri nodded. "The ringing of bells in quick succession lets all know the unfortunate fate of those who were sent out to discover the source of the evil. Rather than waste time or money hiring adventurers to try and get to the bottom of this, the Ghosts decided to appeal to a higher power. They wrote to the Arcean Order and requested assistance, believing that our holy might would be able to dispel the evil. Twilight's Edge has been one of the Order's staunchest supporters for thousands of years, so naturally one of the greatest priest-warriors was dispatched…my old friend and teacher, Master Yon."

Raiki quirked his head. "Master Yon? Your mentor?"

Yamiri nodded. "Yes. After my spiritual awakening-"

"You mean your death?" Raiki asked.

"_After my spiritual awakening,_" Yamiri repeated loudly. "I joined the Arcean Order. I was worried initially that I would not be accepted due to my, ah, sordid past, but as it turns out, many of the Order's members also came from a hard life or did things they were not proud of in the past, so I rather quickly fit in with everyone else. Master Yon took me under his wing and became my first friend and ally in the Order, as well as my favorite teacher. He taught me everything I know today."

"And since he's the one they've sent to take a look at Twilight's Edge…let me guess, the letter is from him, asking you, his best student, to come and help him?" Raiki guessed.

Yamiri nodded. "He believes that the evil infesting Twilight's Edge may be too great for him to defeat on his own…and since he is one of the Order's strongest priests, that's saying something. He requested my aid, because he did not think he could do it on his own and believes there is no one better suited to help him than I."

"Awww, that's sweet!" Raiki said. "But, uh, he _is_ aware of how badly we need you, right? And of the really important thing you have to do here?"

Yamiri nodded. "He does, which is why he said that he would understand if I refused. Even so, I cannot turn my back on my oldest friend. I owe him far too much. I would not be as you see me now were it not for his tutelage. However, I am also aware of my responsibilities here, which is why I shall wait to depart until after we have summoned the great Guardian of Light to this world. Once that task is completed, I should be free to go and help Master Yon in Twilight's Edge."

"All right," Raiki said. He frowned, noticing a rather large and especially nasty mace the Father was about to fasten to one of his bags. "Wow. Where'd you get that thing from?"

Yamiri hesitated. "It is…a keepsake from my wilder days, before I saw the light of Arceus and became His servant. When I joined the Order, I swore to never raise it against another Pokemon again, and only kept it as a reminder of how much I have changed since those long ago days. However…"

"You're bringing it with you because you think you might need it?" Raiki asked.

Yamiri nodded Mareepishly. "Master Yon's warning has put me a little on edge. And besides, faith alone is rarely the best shield against monsters. I do not wish to break my oath, but I will take this memento with me just in case. Perhaps by using it in a righteous cause, I can redeem its bloodstained past."

"And maybe your own?" Raiki asked.

Yamiri shook his head. "No, I already did that for myself centuries ago. Now it is another's turn." He rubbed the handle of his mace wistfully. "Perhaps it is finally time for us to be reunited in battle, old friend…" He put it aside with his other things.

"I would probably find that freaky if I didn't behave the same way with my own weapons," Raiki commented. "Or my beer-drinking hat. I _loooove_ my beer-drinking hat." Yamiri sweatdropped.

Across the room, Sabrina was frowning as she compared the spell diagram the priests were making on the floor to the images on the parchments in her hands. One was ancient, sent by the Arcean Order along with instructions on how to use it to summon the Guardian of Light. The other was much more recent and written in Aaron's hand, also with instructions on how to summon the Guardian. The spell diagram and instructions on either page looked identical at first, but a closer look would reveal that there were small, subtle differences between them. Sabrina did not like those differences. "And you say the Ninetales of Mt. Freeze gave this to you?" she asked Aaron.

Aaron nodded. "She engraved that image in my mind and said it was the one we should use to summon the Guardian."

"But it isn't the same as the one the Order provided us…" Sabrina muttered. "These extra lines here and here, and the lack of them in certain places…I don't like it. Something seems a little off."

Aaron shrugged. "If Krysta said that it's the right spell, then it's the right spell. I trust her with my life."

"Among other things…" Sabrina muttered under her breath.

Aaron frowned. "What was that?"

"Nothing," Sabrina said quickly.

Aaron grunted. There was a pause. "About before…" the Lucario said finally.

Sabrina clutched the parchments tightly in her wings, crumpling them slightly. "I don't want to talk about it."

"It's not something we can avoid," Aaron said. "Not so long as we're going to be working together."

"Aaron…" Sabrina said almost pleadingly.

He ignored her tone. "Sabrina…how long have you been in love with me?"

There was a long moment of silence. Sabrina sighed and looked at the floor. "A very long time, it seems. Sometimes it feels like I've always loved you."

"I thought you were more interested in Allen," Aaron said quietly.

Sabrina shook her head. "I thought so, too. But after you left, we had a few dates, and…it didn't work out. We both realized there was something else between us. That something was you, Aaron."

"Sabrina…I…" Aaron grimaced. "You know by now—you must know—that I'm taken. I'm in a relationship with Krysta."

"I know," Sabrina said softly. "I saw."

"How much did you see?" Aaron asked.

"Too much," Sabrina replied.

"I'm sorry," Aaron whispered.

Sabrina shrugged stiffly. "Don't be. These things happen. And I've seen worse, anyway." She slowly eased her grip on the papers and examined them again. After a moment, she said, "Aaron…do you think that, were it not for her, you and I…"

"I honestly don't know, Sabrina," he admitted. "You're the one who can see the past and future and what might have been, not me."

"I know," she sighed. "I know." She stared at the papers for another few moments. Finally, she said, "I suppose her version of the spell isn't that far off. I think it'll work; the differences are just unexpected. And…you say she gave you hair from her tails?"

"Uh, yes. I was surprised too. We've been lovers for years, but she's never allowed me to touch her tails before now," Aaron said quickly, relieved by the change of subject.

"That _is_ unusual," Sabrina admitted. "Not that she forbade you from touching them, but that she allowed you to do it at all. Ninetales are notoriously finicky about their tails."

"Hence the name, and all the legends about thousand-year curses. Talk about disproportionate retribution…" Aaron muttered.

"If she was willing to allow you to break the forbidden taboo and touch her tails, removing some hair in the process…then she must really be serious about this and believe this is the right thing for us to do," Sabrina said. "It must have been a tremendous act of self-sacrifice for her, to go against her species' custom and do that for us. Or rather, for you. In light of such generosity, how can I overlook her suggestions? If she believes that her spell will work better than the Arceans, then I suppose hers is the one we'll use."

"Thank you, Sabrina," Aaron said in relief.

"Don't thank me," Sabrina said quietly. "I am only doing what needs to be done." _No matter how much it pains me to do so._ Aaron caught a hint of that thought, naturally, but respectfully made no comment.

They were unaware that Latios was watching them. "Are they going to kiss? I keep getting these weird vibes from them. I think they should kiss. They'd make a cute couple, don't you think?" he babbled.

"I thought Aaron was already in a relationship," Rayquaza commented.

"Aaron's mon enough to have ten girlfriends!" Latios bragged. "And maybe a boyfriend or two…how do you think he feels about mons?" Latias and Rayquaza sweatdropped.

_Brother, are you actually sexually attracted to Aaron, or do you just have a…what do they call it…guy-crush on him?_ Latias asked her brother privately.

_To be honest, I'm not sure either,_ Latios admitted Mareepishly, causing Latias to sweatdrop again.

"Uh, so. Latias. You're going to become the Guardian of Light, or the host for her or something. Do you think you'll look anything like that?" Rayquaza asked, indicating the statue of the Guardian of Light seated near one of the paws of the great stone Arceus at the back of the temple.

"I don't know. But I hope so! She looks really beautiful," Latias sighed. Rayquaza almost thought that Latias looked fine the way she was. Then he remembered that she was psychic and empathic and might pick that thought up, so he quickly suppressed his feelings, both because he honestly wasn't sure he was good enough for Latias and because he was fairly positive that her brother would claw his eyes out if he tried anything. (Now, you might be wondering why Rayquaza, ruler of a borderless empire of dragons—and some ghosts—encompassing the entire world, the physical embodiment of the fricking Dragon God King, would feel he was unworthy of a womon like Latias who, while a legendary, could be conceivably ranked a bit lower than him as the hierarchies of godhood went. With that in mind, why did he feel and behave this way? Well, that would be telling, now wouldn't it?)

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" Rayquaza asked, trying to hide his anxiety. "We can probably still back out now if you feel you're not up to it."

Latias gave Rayquaza a puzzled look. "Of course I'm up to it. I have to do this to save the world, don't I? I'm not the least bit afraid."

"You're not? Really?" Rayquaza asked, rather surprised.

Latias smiled at him. "Of course not, Ray. How can I be, with you and my brother here?"

Rayquaza's heart swelled at this honest compliment and sign of genuine affection. He cursed himself for being a coward and a charlatan, undeserving of the attention of such a pure and gentle soul as Latias. In the face of such innocent and heartfelt trust, he actually considered coming clean about everything, about his feelings for Latias, about who he really was, and, more importantly, who he _wasn't_.

Then he noticed Nuken watching them from one of the upper balconies, and stopped cold, remembering the importance of discretion…and what could happen if certain truths ever came to light. Smiling—and only half-needing to force it, at that—he instead said, "Thank you Latias. That means a lot to me." He hoped he would one day be able to live up to all her expectations of him, but he honestly doubted it.

But now Latias was the one who was frowning, picking up on Rayquaza's unease. "Is something wrong, Ray? You've seemed a bit off ever since we got here. Don't tell me _you're_ afraid of what we're about to do?"

"No!" Rayquaza lied blatantly. She gave him a look, not the least bit fooled. Chastened, he explained, "Well, maybe a little. It's just…I care a lot about you, Latias, and I'm worried that once this ceremony is over you won't be, well, _you_ anymore." He wasn't completely lying, that was actually one of the things he was worried about. It just wasn't the only thing.

She smiled again. "Ray, if anything I'm going to be more me than I ever was before…or something like that. Since I'm like a weaker reflection of the Guardian of Light and all."

"Sometimes reflections are best when they're weak or incomplete," he argued. "Not everyone likes to be able to see themselves fully in the mirror." He certainly didn't. There were many days when he still had trouble recognizing his own reflection.

"But if you don't see yourself as you really are, then how can you ever know yourself fully, or become the best you can be?" Latias countered.

"How do you know you're not good enough as you already are?" he asked.

"Because I'm _not,_ Ray," she said, startling him. "Not for something like this. Our world is in jeopardy, and apparently it's fallen upon me to help save it. Do you really think I can do that as I am now?"

Rayquaza wanted to tell her that yes, she was, but they both knew that wasn't true. "I suppose not…" he said reluctantly.

She laughed. He had always liked her laugh, it couldn't help making even the dreariest of occasions seem warm and full of sunlight. "Don't worry, Ray. I promise that no matter how much I change, we'll always be friends. Not even becoming a god can change that. I'd think it would help, since you're kind of a god already, aren't you?"

"I…" Rayquaza hesitated, again wishing he could tell her the truth, and well aware that he never could. "…Thank you, Latias."

"Hmm? Were you two talking about something? I was too busy staring at Aaron to pay attention," Latios said, wrenching his gaze away from the Lucario with some effort to turn his attention back on his sister and her friend. He glared at Rayquaza suspiciously. "Hey, you weren't making any moves on Latias while I wasn't looking, were you?"

Latias rolled her eyes. "Most certainly not," Rayquaza said solemnly.

"Good. Because once she becomes the Guardian of Light, she'll be totally out of your league! So don't even think about it! Because I'll know. What with being Psychic and all," Latios taunted Rayquaza.

"Wouldn't I be more in his league? Since I'll be turning into the Guardian of Light (or an avatar thereof), and Rayquaza's supposed to be the mortal incarnation of the Dragon God King, her mate?" Latias asked.

Latios paused at that. "Uh…well…er…no! Because you'll be tons more powerful and divine than he is!"

"If that's the case, then I won't need you to defend myself from him and can handle it myself," Latias reasoned.

"That's right! Wait…" Latios frowned, getting the vague feeling he had lost the debate somehow. Rayquaza stifled a laugh, but Latios sensed his amusement and glared at him. "Don't even try it, big guy. I have my eye on you. All of them. Including the one in my head. That you can't see. Because it's not an actual eye, but Psychic power. Yeah."

"I'll keep that in mind," Rayquaza said.

"I think we're ready to begin!" Aaron called, getting their attention.

"Latias, Rayquaza, get into your places in the circle! The sun will be in the right position in a few minutes, and if we don't finish in time we'll need to wait until tomorrow to try again!" Sabrina said.

"Which I won't be able to help with, since I need to leave as soon as possible, so let's try and do this properly the first time, shall we?" Yamiri said.

Raiki nodded. "Yeah, I can't be here tomorrow either. The new season of 'The Workplace' starts then at about this time, and I can't miss it!" They all sweatdropped.

"Couldn't you just record it?" Aaron asked.

"Nah, you know how much our electromagnetic fields keep screwing those things up," Raiki said. "I don't have the slightest idea how they work, anyway. Stupid VCRs. And DVDs. And DVRs. And all the other things they have acronyms for."

"If your natural bioelectricity keeps shorting those things out, then how can you watch regular television without ruining that, too?" Latias asked.

Raiki paused. "That's…a very good question, actually." They all sweatdropped again.

"A better question would be WHY ARE YOU NOT ALL IN YOUR PLACES? Move! Move!" Sabrina snapped, causing everyone to jump and quickly scurry to their places either in the spell diagram or around the periphery. "That includes you too, Aaron, this can't work without your Aura power!"

"Oh, right," Aaron said, quickly jumping into a smaller circle set aside for him within the larger diagram, careful not to smudge or break any of the lines painted on the floor.

"Father, do you have the incantation ready?" Sabrina asked Yamiri.

"Right here," Yamiri said, waving a sheet of paper.

"We have our copies too," said one of the lesser priests, holding another paper.

"Good," Sabrina said, folding her wings. "Then let us begin."

"I'll just stand over here so I won't get in the way," Raiki said, moving away from the diagram. "Oh, by the way, will this take long? The season premiere of CSI: New Yerk starts in an hour, and I can't miss that either!" They all sweatdropped again. Again.

Sabrina facepalmed. _Aaron, has he always been this silly?_ She asked telepathically.

_He actually used to be much goofier,_ Aaron told her. _If anything, I think family life has caused him to become more serious about things._ Sabrina sweatdropped and decided to leave it at that.

"All right," the Xatu said, glancing about the room. "Is everyone ready?" Everyone nodded, though some (i.e. Rayquaza) were more hesitant than others. "Good. Then let us begin! The time to summon the Guardian of Light is now!" Everyone watching from the higher levels cheered. "Silence! We can't concentrate if you're all making so much noise!" she snapped. They quickly quieted down. Pichu, who was there along with Matthias and Team GX, kept cheering stupidly until Junior whacked him and he shut up.

_Wow, she seems pretty temperamental,_ Latios thought to himself. _I wonder if she'd be in a better mood if she and Aaron had kissed or something._

_I HEARD THAT! _Sabrina shouted in his head.

_Eek!_ Latios yelped.

_Oh brother…_ Latias thought, rolling her eyes.

_Yes? What is it?_ Latios asked. Latias sweatdropped.

Aaron bent over and placed his staff in a break in the circle he was standing in. He closed his eyes under his blindfold and concentrated, causing Aura to ignite around him in a brilliant blue flame. The flames rippled down his arms and into staff, causing the crystal on top to glow a brilliant blue hue and for the Ninetales hairs wrapped around its shaft to burst into golden fire. The energy in the staff surged downward and into the floor, spreading out through the lines of the spell and causing the entire diagram to flash with a blinding azure light as it absorbed his energy. An audible hum filled the room as the glow slowly increased, the spell's power growing as the various sacred relics loaned to them by the Arcean Order placed at key nodes in the enchantment's structure activated, their holy energies intermingling with Aaron's pure Aura to generate an incredible amount of power. Father Yamiri and his priests held their papers before them and began chanting in an ethereal tongue as candles flickered to life all around them and slowly rose into the air.

The beam of sunlight shining through the stained-glass window above the statue of Arceus fell squarely upon Latias, who was floating in a circle in the center of the spell diagram. Rayquaza, who was curled up in a rather larger circle just in front of Latias's, gasped in wonder as the sunlight sparkled on the red and white dragon's down. It looked as if she were _glowing…_

She was, actually. The incredible forces tied up in the spell diagram surrounding them were all converging on Latias, bathing her with unimaginable magical energy and causing her to feel as if every atom of her being was radiating limitless power. And as everybody knew, powerful things had a tendency to glow when they were doing something important.

The summoning had begun.

"Oooh, neat," Raiki said, totally ruining the mood. "Still, I've seen better special effects on television." Sabrina facefaulted.

…

Meanwhile, in the Mysterious Woods…

"Wow," James said quietly. "When you said the Tree of Beginning was destroyed, you really meant it, huh?"

"I rarely say something I do not mean," Wabbaku said, which was a lie and he knew it.

"How did this happen?" Gardenia whispered, a horrified look on her face.

Team Rocket had flown in their balloon (they had a spare. Several, actually) to the Mysterious Woods after Wabbaku had diagnosed Mickey so that they could find the life crystal he needed to create the spell that would purge Mickey of his demonic plague for good. Although Wabbaku had warned them that the Tree of Beginning had been destroyed recently, he was still fairly confident that they could find a piece of the crystal they needed in the ruins. But even with his foreknowledge of the Tree's death, he was just as shaken as the others by the sheer desolation they discovered when they got there.

They were standing on the edge of an enormous crater whose steep sides plunged deep into the earth, still smoking slightly from the heat of its formation even though the Tree itself had died several days ago. Scorch marks, piles of rubble, and jagged heaps of broken crystal lay all over the place. And if that weren't bad enough, consider that there was no living thing, not even a piece of rock lichen, to be found anywhere within the crater or at least a hundred yards beyond its perimeter, and one would easily understand why the Rockets were somewhat spooked.

And the lack of life wasn't just restricted to the crater, either. The nearby trees at the base of the mountain ridge the crater was nestled in didn't look too healthy. The trees closest to the crater had become twisted and withered, devoid of life, and those further away, while looking somewhat healthy at first glance, were clearly beginning to decay, dead leaves falling from their branches with every feeble gust of wind that blew through them. "It is as if the land itself is rotting away…I can hear the tormented screams of the earth spirits even now," Wabbaku whispered sadly to himself. "Without the Tree of Beginning, the Mysterious Woods are dying. It will not be long before this place is a barren, dead wasteland, and all that live here will need to find a new home lest they die as well."

"That's awful," James said quietly.

"Chiii," Chimecho whimpered, not its usual exuberant self.

"Unbelievable…" Jessie murmured, so deeply affected that she couldn't find anything sarcastic or biting to say about the environmental degradation surrounding them.

"What caused this?" Gardenia asked again.

"Evil Pokemon," Wabbaku growled. "Invaders who stormed the Tree, wantonly killing and enslaving the Tree's guardians, the Pokemon tribe known as the Caretakers, in search of the boundless treasures which lay deep within the Tree's innards. When they got everything they came for, they destroyed the Tree's heart, signing the death knell of this land. It is a wonder that the Caretakers were able to escape before they, too, were killed in the Tree's inevitable collapse." He decided not to mention that the spirits told him that Team Aurabolt were the ones who had helped the Caretakers escape. Right now they needed to find a cure for James, and being reminded of their self-appointed mission to capture them would only distract the others from the task at hand.

James shook his head in dismay. "How could anyone be evil enough to do this?"

"I might," Mickey whimpered, hugging his jar of dirt close to him. "If I don't get dat antidote in time and turn into a demon…"

"That's right, we came here for a reason, not to sightsee," Jessie said, remembering their goal. "Wabbaku, you said we needed a piece of life crystal?"

Wabbaku nodded. "Yes, it's a magical mineral that formed naturally inside the Tree. Most of them were destroyed when the Tree died, but the spirits tell me there should still be a few fragments left down in the crater."

"Are you sure?" James asked warily, glancing uneasily down into the pit. "I don't like the looks of that place…"

"I'm fairly certain," Wabbaku said. "Admittedly, it's kind of hard to hear what my spirit guides are saying, what with the local earth spirits constantly screaming as the very soil they dwell in is rendered barren and lifeless."

They all shuddered. "Works for me," Jessie said weakly.

"Uh, Wabbaku, are the spirits in my jar…" Mickey asked uneasily.

Wabbaku shook his head. "No, they're fine."

Mickey sighed in relief. "Phew! Thank goodness. If dey were dying too, den I don't know _what_ would happen to me!"

"I do," said Buzz. "You'd turn into a demon!"

Mickey glared at the Yanmega. "Gee, thanks for da insight." He nuzzled the jar. "I love you, cold unfeeling jar of dirt. You're da only ting keeping me from turning into a monster." James scowled, jealous of the jar for his lover's affections.

"Mickey, stop acting weird and let's go already," Jessie snapped. "I want to get that crystal and get out of here as quickly as we can. I don't like this place…"

None of them did. Nevertheless, they cautiously hiked down into the crater, carefully picking their way down the steep slopes and skirting around unstable heaps of rubble or jagged crystal outcroppings. Soon most of them were cursing from all the cuts and bruises they were accumulating on their hands and feet, save for Jessie, Buzz, and Chimecho, who were flying and so didn't have to worry about the uneven ground.

When they were about a third of the way down, Wabbaku called the team to a halt and carefully examined the rock wall. "Hmm…Gardenia, I require your assistance, please."

"Okay!" Gardenia said as she quickly trotted over, nearly shoving Mickey off the side of the rough trail they were on and almost sending him (and his jar of dirt) plummeting to his death in her eagerness to help her crush. "What do you need me to do?"

Wabbaku pointed at a crevice in the living (not actually alive, mind you) rock. "I want you to hit this spot with the strongest Needle Arm you can manage. Er, on second thought, don't make it _too_ strong, I don't want to cause a rockslide."

"Right! No problem!" Gardenia said, drawing back her arm as it started to glow. With a mighty cry, she thrust it forward in a powerful punch that cracked the rock and caused the slope around them to tremble. A few pebbles rolled down around them, and parts of the trail crumbled away.

"Careful!" Jessie hissed. "He said _not_ to cause a rockslide!"

"Sorry," Gardenia said, chastened. "I just wanted to help…"

"And you did. That was just about as strong as I needed it to be," Wabbaku said, examining the spot where Gardenia had punched. Her spiny fist had cracked open the crevice, revealing a tiny green sliver of crystal lying in a deep hollow. He carefully reached into the hollow with a flipper and withdrew the crystal. He held it up to the air, its facet glittering slightly as the sun shone down on it. "Behold! The life crystal!"

"That's it? Wow, I thought it would be a lot bigger," said Mickey.

"Hooray! We're one step closer to curing Mickey!" James squealed, clapping his hands.

"Chiiii!" Chimecho chimed.

"Wonderful. Can we go now?" Jessie asked.

"Ah, we may have a bit of trouble there, Miss Jessie…" Buzz said anxiously. "_They_ might have something to say to the contrary…"

"Huh? What do you-" Jessie froze. Several lean, scarred, hard-eyed and somewhat unkempt Pokemon had appeared from out of nowhere and had them surrounded on all sides. "Ack!"

"Wow. Where'd they come from?!" Gardenia asked.

"Impossible! How could I have failed to sense their approach?!" Wabbaku cried in astonishment. "The wailing earth spirits aren't _that_ loud!"

"Don't let them take my jar of dirt!" Mickey screamed, clutching the jar to his chest.

James growled angrily. _What's that jar have that I don't?!_

"I think it's more likely that they want this," Wabbaku said, glancing at the life crystal.

"Then give it to them!" Jessie said anxiously.

Wabbaku shook his head. "We can't! We need it for Mickey!"

"Then we may have to fight them for it," Buzz said. "Because here they come!"

Savage looks on their faces, the Pokemon pounced…

…

Meanwhile, in Almiore…

_Finally! I've found Hissssa's lair!_ Gary thought to himself as he floated down to the entrance of a very large cave, the rut-like trail left by the two-headed serpent's rolling about leading right into its mouth. _Now I just need to go in there and save Evan and Jerry!...All by myself. Huh. Well, she can't be _that _tough, can she?_

Just to be safe, Gary made himself invisible and intangible, so Hissssa wouldn't see or smell him coming until it was too late. He stealthily started to creep into the cave…

When he heard an ominous hissing echoing up from deep within the cavern. "And now, it isss time for the feassst!"

"Yesss, the feassst, the feassst!"

Gary gasped. _Oh no! She must be about to eat Jerry! And then probably molest Evan after dessert. No time for stealth, the time to act is now!_ Phasing back into visibility, he frantically flew down the tunnel before him, the passage twisting and turning and every bit as serpentine as its occupant. The tunnel grew darker the further Gary went into it, but he was a Gengar so had perfect night vision and wasn't bothered. Even if he had been a normal Pokemon, however, the darkness wouldn't have hindered him for long, because he could see a dim light coming from up ahead, growing brighter the closer he got to it. It soon became bright enough to illuminate the entire tunnel as he sped through it and out the other end, finding himself in a massive underground chamber lit by luminescent moss, torches, glowing crystals, and fluorescent lamps. Piles of what looked initially like treasure but on closer inspection was just lots of bright sparkly stuff that would barely be worth a dime if sold at a flea market was heaped all over the room. The middle of the chamber was a cleared space, and in that space Gary could see the nightmarish form of Hissssa, both her heads raised high as if to strike…

Until one of them stopped pouring tea from an ornamental pot into the cup delicately held in the other one's tongue, and the cupbearer lowered her head and daintily offered it to Evan, who was curled up at one end of a large table covered in delicious-looking gourmet food placed in the center of the room. "More tea, dearessst?"

"Don't mind if I do, hot ssstuff," Evan said, grabbing the cup from the larger serpent with his tail and guzzling the hot liquid down his throat. "Ahhh, that hitsss the ssspot!"

"And how about you, Jerry? Would you like anything elssse?" Hissssa's free head asked the somewhat uncomfortable-looking Jerry.

"Uh, no thanks. I'm good," Jerry said. "You didn't really need to go to all the trouble of making us all this, ma'am."

"Oh, but I had to!" Hissssa's other head hissed as she set the teapot down in one of the few empty spots on the table. "It'sss only polite to feed my guessstsss properly, after all."

"And besssidesss, you've got a long journey ahead of you, ssso you ssshould eat up while you have the chance!" the second head said.

_The heck? Is she fattening them up to eat them?_ An incredulous Gary wondered. It wasn't until Hissssa reared back and whirled around to face him that he realized he'd said it out loud. "Aw, crap."

"Intruder!" one of Hissssa's heads snarled.

"It'sss that fat Muk from before!" the other head hissed.

"I'm a Gengar, not a Muk!" Gary snapped.

"Oh, hi Gary! Sssee, I told you he'd make it," Evan said smugly to Jerry, who groaned and lowered his head onto the table.

Hissssa hesitated. "Gary?" her first head hissed. "Isssn't he that-"

"Friend you told usss about?" the second finished.

Evan nodded. "Yep, I knew he'd ssshow up sssooner or later to ressscue us. Not that we need ressscuing or anything."

Gary blinked stupidly. "You don't?"

Evan shrugged his entire body. "Doesss it look like we do?"

Gary took stock of the situation. Both Evan and Jerry seemed perfectly healthy and well-cared for, about to tuck into the very large meal Hissssa had apparently prepared for them. This did not lessen his confusion in the slightest. "I don't understand," he said, trying to comprehend what was going on. "Wasn't she going to eat Jerry and rape you or something like that?"

Hissssa looked horrified. "Eat Jerry?!" the first head cried.

"We could never do that!" the second said.

"And we don't rape anyone. At leassst, not on the firssst date," the first head said, winking at Evan, who blushed and giggled.

Gary stared at them. "Uh, why not? The eating thing, not the…the other part."

"Becaussse we're vegetariansss!" the two heads said in unison.

Gary's eye twitched. "Vege…okay, first off, that's not possible. You're a snake. Snakes are meat-eaters. Civilized carnivores avoid having to hunt and kill live prey by eating synthesized meat, but they can't just up and decide to change their diet! It doesn't work like that! It's an anatomical impossibility! And for another thing, Jerry's a Grass-type, so technically he's a plant, and therefore part of a vegetarian diet…I think."

"Have you ever ssseen any sssnakesss our sssize?" asked the first head.

"With two headsss?" the second asked.

"Well, no," Gary admitted.

"Then how do you know we _can't_ be vegetarian?" the first pointed out.

"Besssidesss, look how big we are! It would take enormousss quantitiesss of meat to sssussstain a body our sssize if we were carnivoresss!" the second said.

"We'd have cleared out that dinky little fissshing village agesss ago if that were the cassse, rather than jussst grabbing young monsss one at a time," the first said.

Gary blinked. "That…actually makes a lot of sense."

"And asss to Jerry being a vegetable…well, we don't like eating thingsss that have facesss," the second head said.

"It makesss usss feel all guilty and ssstuff," said the first.

"Ah," said Gary. "Okay. But…wait, that only makes things even more confusing! If you're vegetarians, then why have you been terrorizing Chicole Town over the last few months and abducting young mons? If you didn't eat them, then where are they?!" He glanced around the cave, as if hoping to spot them somewhere among all the rubbish.

"Oh, that'sss actually kind of a funny ssstory…" Hissssa said nervously.

Jerry's head shot up. "Don't tell him!" he hissed. "He knows too much already!"

"I do?" Gary said, still absolutely clueless as to what the heck was going on. Or was he? He was starting to get a vague idea…

"Oh, he'sss come thisss far, and it'sss not like you can ssstop him at thisss point anyway," Evan said. "Besssidesss, I doubt he'll tell anyone, he'll appreciate the ssscheme too much to ssspoil it by ratting you all out."

This piqued Gary's interest. "A scheme, huh? Then does that mean this whole Hissssa thing is just a big hoax? I was beginning to suspect as much…"

Hissssa frowned at Gary. "Do I look like a hoax to you, missster?"

"Er, sorry ma'am, I didn't mean to imply that _you_ were a hoax, just that…well, you know…this whole situation with you pretending to attack Chicole Village and acting like you were gonna eat the Pokemon there, but aren't really. That's the hoax, right?"

"Yep!" Hissssa's heads nodded. Jerry groaned and banged his head into the table again.

"So if that's the hoax, then what's the payoff? And what's really happened to all those kidnapped young mons?" Gary asked he floated down to ground level.

Evan grinned. "Gary, my friend, pull up a chair and grab yourssself a plate. What I'm about to tell you isss gonna blow your mind…"

…

Some time later, in Battlus…

Ash winced as he shifted in his bed to try and get into a more comfortable position. Most of his body felt sore all over from the beating and the heat he had taken in his fight with Wes. Stupid Ford and his cages and his lava pits and his energy cannons. Ash had admittedly been through worse deathcourses at the dojo back in Pokemon Square, but it had still been a pain in both the physical and metaphorical sense.

He was currently lying in a room at the Pokemon Center, waiting for Nurse Joy to tend to him. Joy had left him there several minutes ago, apologetically explaining that due to the late hour most of her staff had gone home or were asleep, so she would have to tend to Wes, who had gotten injured more than Ash—only natural, since he lost—personally. Ash wasn't quite as badly hurt as Wes (though still in better condition than he had been after Paul had nearly killed him earlier that morning), therefore he could wait a little bit longer to be treated. Ash understood this and was okay with it, he knew that Wes should get healed first, but that didn't make his worn-out body feel any better. After all the fighting he had done that day, he was exhausted, and in need of a good long rest.

Fortunately, as soon as Joy mended his battered form and discharged him, he could join the rest of the team in their new deluxe quarters within Mt. Battle, the champion's personal suite. He had sent them ahead to get the place set up…and also to see whether or not the map to the Star Badges would react at all to the gemstone on the champion's belt. If it did, then they'd have finally located the third Badge…and if not, than it was somewhere else in the stadium, which meant they still had a lot of searching to do. Ash was not looking forward to that.

Out of boredom, he started channel surfing on the nearby television. Naturally, nothing interesting was on, so it was a relief to him when he heard the door slide open. He turned towards the opening. "Oh, Nurse Joy, I was wondering when you'd be finished with Wes. How is he-" He gasped, cutting himself off midsentence.

Nurse Joy was not standing in the doorway. Ford's Feraligatr bodyguard was. His usually immaculate black suit was splattered with blood, and more of it dripped from his jaws as he chewed on a large hunk of pink flesh. As Ash stared in horror, the monstrous lizard entered the room and stepped to the side, his jaws working all the while, revealing the hideously mangled and dismembered body of Nurse Joy lying in the hallway just outside.

Ford stepped over the corpse, careful not to get any of the blood oozing out in huge puddles from the dead Nurse's maimed form on his pants, and entered the room. "Gonzales!" he said cheerfully, a rather terrifying smile on his face. "Do you have a minute? You and I need to have a little…_talk_…about what you owe me."

…

And yes, the chapter ends there. Cruel of me, isn't it?

Next chapter will, hopefully, be the end of this arc, and many of the questions you've all been wondering about should be answered by then. And others will remain mysteries for quite a while longer. That's also cruel of me, huh?

Was this fight as exciting as the events in the last chapter? I did my best to try and keep it interesting, what with the cage and the lava and the turrets and all. What did you think?

Oh, and by the way...you'll be interested to hear that I'm considering writing a bonus chapter at the end of Latias' Journey that ties up all the loose ends and explains in detail the cool events mentioned briefly in the prologue to this story that will bring the Journey to a satisfying true end rather than the open-ended cliffhanger I left it on. How does that idea sound to you guys? Bear in mind it'll mean me pretty much retconning the entire final arc of the story (the part on Birth Island) as having been nothing more than one of Mewgle's hallucinations, and I'm aware that some people actually liked that part for some reason.

What do you think? Should I do this chapter or not, and if so, when?


	30. Farewell, Mt Battle

After that epic battle and even more epic cliffhanger, guess what it's time for?

That's right! The end of the Mt. Battle arc! Yaaaayy! The next one should have fewer battles but make up for it with plenty of scares and another new character to join the team. Who will it be? Wait and see!

But in the meantime, let's see how Ash is going to get out of Ford's clutches, shall we?

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters that don't belong to me.

…

"Weeee!" Leo squealed happily as he bounced up and down on the incredibly comfortable and springy mattress of the bed in the champion's suite. "This is awesome! Tiny, come on up here mon, you've gotta try this!" Tiny sucked on his pacifier and didn't budge. Leo shrugged in midair. "Okay, your loss."

"Leo, stop jumping on the bed, you'll only get yourself hurt, just like the Mankeys in that nursery rhyme my mom always tells Pichu when _he's_ jumping on the bed…which he promptly ignores and keeps bouncing anyway…" Pikachu said.

"Relax, I'm armored all over, I doubt a little fall will hurt me!" Leo bragged. Then he bounced too hard, fell off the side of the bed, and hit his head on the floor. "Ow…"

"I warned you," Pikachu pointed out.

Leo groaned. "I should start wearing a helmet or something…" Tiny shook his head and sucked his pacifier, feeling justified in his decision not to jump on the bed.

Team Aurabolt—minus Ash—had relocated to the quarters reserved for the Mt. Battle champion and his entourage after the match against Wes. They were enjoying their decadent and incredibly luxurious surroundings while they waited for Ash to get out of the Pokemon Center. "Is all of this necessary?" Sasha marveled, examining the lush carpets, exquisite paintings hanging from the walls, the sparkling chandeliers dangling from the ceiling, the floor-to-ceiling windows which took up one long wall of the spacious chambers and opened out onto a lengthy balcony overlooking a good portion of Battlus, the TV screen and video game station that was so big it occupied an entire wall panel, the fully-stocked kitchen with gold-plated refrigerator, and a bathroom with a tub so large and so extravagant it made a standard hot tub look like a wading pool. "It seems like an extraordinary waste of resources. Nobody back home lives in a place like this."

"Most of the Pokemon back where you call home live in caves devoid of decoration save for a few bones and maybe a hide or two," Pikachu pointed out.

"Which is all we need," Sasha countered. "I fail to see the point of all this expenditure."

"The champion is the biggest mon in Mt. Battle save for Ford," Leo pointed out as he came over, rubbing his sore head. "So it only makes sense he'd get the best stuff."

"But we don't _need_ any of it," Sasha reminded him. "Especially since we won't be staying long to enough to make much use of it."

"I know! Which is why I intend to enjoy it while it lasts," Leo said, jumping into a sofa facing the television and picking up one of the remote controls placed on the coffee table nearby. "Hmm, I wonder what's on." He switched the television on, causing the screen to light up and the speakers to roar to life with such a tremendous blast of noise and color that it shook the suite, rattled the windows and chandeliers, and caused Tiny to start screaming. "COOL! A MUSIC VIDEO!" Leo yelled, the force of the sound waves pumping out of the speakers pushing him back into his seat and blowing his lips back.

"IS IT THE POKEROCKERS?" Pikachu shouted.

"NO!" Leo replied.

"GOOD," Pikachu said, grabbing the remote and turning the TV off. As the music died down, Tiny stopped screaming, and the suite was full of sweet silence once more.

Leo pouted. "Awww, I was watching that!"

"You can watch later. Right now, we have more important things to do…namely, seeing if the star on the Champion's belt is a Star Badge," Pikachu said.

Sasha nodded in agreement. "Very well. How do we do that?"

Pikachu took out the magical map. "It's pretty simple. We hold this thing up to the star, and if it glows and a new marking appears on it, then we'll know it's the real deal. If nothing happens, then it's a phony and we've completely wasted the last week participating in a tournament and got ourselves beaten up for no reason whatsoever."

"Typical Shaggy Growlithe Story," Leo said with a sigh, getting out of his seat. "All right, let's go try it out."

They walked over to the bed, where they had left the belt. Leo's bouncing had not dislodged it from where it was lying. Pikachu held up the map and pointed its illustrated front at the glittering star on the belt buckle. Tiny watched in wonder and awe as absolutely nothing happened at all. As the other three sagged in disappointment, the bored Larvitar toddled off to raid the fridge. "Guess that settles that question," Leo said, looking depressed.

"Dammit!" Pikachu snapped, rolling the map back up in frustration. "Then the last few days has been nothing but a complete waste of time!"

"Not necessarily," Sasha pointed out. "Now that we are the champions, we should have free reign of the volcano. We might be able to search places we did not have access to previously in hopes of finding the real Star Badge."

"That's something," Pikachu said, brightening. "And maybe, once May gets in contact with us again and introduces us to her partner, we can ask them about the Badge. They've been investigating this place for years, they might know where it is by now, especially if it's related to the disappeared fighters like Leo thinks it is."

"I'm sure it is!" Leo said, perking up as well. "And even if _they_ don't know, we still got one thing out of all this!"

"What's that?" Pikachu asked.

"Oodles and oodles of cash!" Leo chirped happily. "We must've made at least a couple cool million Poke' in the arena. Since you and Ash's bank accounts are out of reach—what with the bank owner turning out to be an evil mastermind who absconded with the entire contents of the building, including all of your money—we'll need to rely on another source of income for the foreseeable future to pay our expenses and stuff."

"That's also true," Pikachu agreed, realizing the turtle's point.

"And there should still be enough left over for me to buy a ton of new games!" Leo continued, causing Pikachu and Sasha to sweatdrop. "As well as a new body for my Dad! He must be tired of being stuck as an immobile skull after spending the last few years undead. I'm gonna get him a robot exo-suit, with drill hands and laser-firing kneecaps and missile launchers in its butt!"

"You do that, Leo," Pikachu said slowly and carefully. "You do that."

Tiny walked back into the room, chugging a can of beer. Sasha frowned. "Should he be drinking that?"

Pikachu gasped. "Tiny! Give me that!" He snatched the can from the Larvitar's hands. Tiny pulled out his pacifier and started screaming. Pikachu glared at him but did not give in, used to such tactics from his little brother. Eventually realizing Pikachu wasn't going to give him the can back, Tiny grunted, stuck his pacifier back into his mouth, and waddled away. "Here, get rid of this," Pikachu said, handing the can to Leo. "Ash won't be happy if he finds out his latest kid's been drinking."

"No problem!" Leo said, hiding the can in his shell when Pikachu wasn't looking.

"Anyway," Sasha said, changing the subject. "What should we do now?"

"Well…Ash still isn't back, but…I see no reason we can't start searching for the real Star Badge," Pikachu said thoughtfully.

"Sounds good to me," Leo said. "So long as we're back in time for the season premier of 'The Workplace.' I love that show!"

Pikachu sighed. "Yeah, so does my dad…"

They got their stuff together and opened the front door. There was a pause. Then they closed the door and silently backed away several steps. "There are at least three dozen guards waiting right outside our doorstep," Pikachu said quietly.

"Someone does not want us to leave," Sasha said just as quietly.

"And that someone's last name starts with an 'F' and ends with a 'D,'" Leo said.

"Why would he do this, though?" Sasha wondered.

"If it were just because he's pissed that we cost him billions, then he'd have sent them in by now to rough us up…" Pikachu muttered. "Which means…they're just here to keep us occupied while he takes his revenge on the only member of our team not with us right now: Ash!"

"Crap! Stupid flaming chicken!" Leo swore. "What do we do? Normally I'd say we have the advantage of conservation of ninjutsu, but…that hasn't worked so well in the past."

"That's a bit of an understatement," Pikachu said drily.

"Whatever we do, we must do it swiftly…" Sasha said. "Ash's life hangs in the balance."

Tiny walked back into the room drinking from another can of beer he'd gotten from the fridge. He paused when he saw the worried looks on the faces of his…acquaintances, wondering what he'd missed. He belched, causing them to stare at him. He tossed the can, now empty, at them and waddled off to get another. They sweatdropped. "That is one messed-up kid," Pikachu said after a moment.

"Maybe his mom was a drinker?" Leo suggested. "Sometimes if mothers drink while they're pregnant, it does stuff to their kids…it'd explain a lot."

"Were he my child, I would punish him for doing something that," Sasha commented.

"Well, he isn't your kid. But, uh, if he were…what would you do?" Pikachu asked. Sasha told him. Pikachu blanched. "Ah. I don't think Ash will go for that."

"Well, he's the dad, so the punishment is up to him," Leo pointed out. There was a pause. He gasped, remembering the current predicament. "But if we don't rescue him, he's not going to get the chance to discipline the kid! What're we gonna do?!"

Pikachu smirked. "This may usually be your department, Leo…but I have a plan."

…

Elsewhere in the building…

"Let me go!" Ash snarled, struggling against the grip of the four dark-suited Machamps that were restraining him. No matter how hard he fought, he couldn't break free from their sixteen very strong hands. It didn't help that he wasn't at his strongest at the moment due to the long fight with Wes and Nurse Joy not getting a chance to heal him before she was brutally murdered.

Ford laughed. "Let you go? Why, so you can attack them, or possibly me? I pay these gentlemons to protect me and do certain other jobs around the joint, and I pay them well enough to do it right! Most of the time, anyway."

After dragging Ash out of the Pokemon Center, Ford and his goon squad had taken the Lucario to the arena where, only a short while ago, he had fought against Wes in an epic clash above a pit of lava. The arena was empty now, all the members of the audience having departed quite some time ago, and the immense chamber was rather eerie in its silence and lack of warm bodies to fill up its vast interior. Ford was standing on the stage in the middle of the arena, which had been drained of lava but had not yet been repaired from all the damage Ash and Wes caused in their battle. Dark-suited Pokemon stood in a ring around the edge of the stage, watching the proceedings in silence like big sunglass-wearing muscular sentinels. Ford spread his arms welcomingly as the Machamps carried the thrashing Ash up onto the stage. "Gonzales, my boy, it's good to see you still have so much energy even after using most of it against Wes earlier. Too bad that energy won't be doing you any good for much longer."

"Ford!" Ash snarled. "What's this all about? No, wait, don't tell me…you're pissed that I didn't play along with you and throw the match, and want a little payback for all the money I cost you. How pathetic."

"Pathetic?!" Ford roared angrily, his temper—and parts of his body—flaring up. He backhanded Ash so hard that the Lucario's nose broke and the Machamps were nearly knocked over as Ash was almost torn from their grasp. Ash's head spun, blackness forming at the edges of his vision as he tried to retain consciousness. The strength in Ford's blow had been astonishing, even stronger than younger specimens of his species. Where did he get such power? "Do you have any idea how much Poke' I wagered on you?! I've lost just about everything I have! And my debtors are going to want even more, and I'm not going to be able to pay them, you stupid piece of shit. You've ruined my career, derailed my life, and possibly shut down Mt. Battle for good. What do you say to that, smartass?"

Ash managed a grin, though blood seeped between his loosened teeth. "I'd say it's fair retribution for trying to cheat your way out of a bet you should never have made to begin with. You brought this on yourself, Ford."

Ford looked as if he were about to hit Ash again, but considered this. "Perhaps I did, at that," Ford admitted. "I shouldn't have gambled so much of my money on you…blinded by greed, I simply assumed you'd go along with my plans. Maybe what they say about your species is true, that you've got honor engraved in your very metallic bones, so that even the least of you adheres to some stupid code of conduct."

Ash snorted, blood droplets spraying from his nostrils. "It has nothing to do with me being a Lucario, Ford…and everything to do with you being a lying, cheating, money-grubbing scumbag."

Ford sneered. "Heh. Defiant to the end, eh? That also seems to be typical of your species. It won't do you much good, though…because pretty soon, you're going to disappear, and no amount of honor or courage or worthless heroism is going to save you."

"Then you _are_ behind all the disappearing fighters!" Ash realized.

Ford laughed. "It took you that long to figure it out?"

"No, we've suspected it for a while," Ash said.

"Really?" Ford asked, not believing Ash. "I don't suppose you've also suspected what I've _done_ with all those vanished fighters?"

"Drained their energy into yourself so that you can keep from aging and become ungodly strong, transforming them into trophies in the process which you keep on display in that secret chamber we found above the storeroom?" Ash guessed.

Ford stared at him in astonishment. "How did you…"

Ash shrugged. "It seemed obvious in retrospect, really."

Ford scowled. "Well, I bet you don't know _how_ I've been doing it!"

"With a machine powered by a magical star-shaped gemstone?" Ash guessed.

Ford's eye twitched. Then he hit Ash so hard that the Lucario saw stars. "That was a rhetorical question, Gonzales. And yes, you're right again, I _have_ been using a machine powered by a magical star-shaped gemstone. But there's more to it than just that."

"Oh?" Ash asked, shaking his head to try and clear it and only causing it to hurt more.

"I've rigged practically the entire darn _building_ to serve my purposes!" Ford said, turning in a circle with his hands extended as if to indicate everything around them.

Ash's eyes widened in surprise. "The entire building?!"

Ford grinned. "Ah, something you don't know! That's right, nearly all of Mt. Battle is tied into my special machine! I don't have so many fighting rings built into this place just for the money and the fun of it, you see. The spotlights in every arena are wired into smaller versions of the machine, which are in turn hooked up to the central node here in this room. When Pokemon are fighting in the arena, the lights focus on them and subtly drain some of their energy, sending it to the node here for me to absorb later. I can't take too much at a time, of course, otherwise somebody might notice something was off, which is why I just steal a little bit of energy at the time…but when I have half a dozen matches going simultaneously in tournaments like the one that just ended, that adds up to quite a bit of juice for yours truly!"

Ash gasped, realizing that this was the secret behind another one of the Wonders of Mt. Battle—The Spooky Ring-Lights—as well as the solution to another problem he hadn't even realized had been bugging him. "So _that's_ why we always feel so bushed after a match, even against opponents who weren't really that tough!"

Ford snickered. "That's right, the tiredness was because I drained a portion of your energy when you weren't looking! And all that delicious power keeps me healthy and fit, which is why I still retain this impressive physique even though I'm getting on in years."

"But if you're already getting that much energy just from stealing from your own fighters, then why the disappearances? Why drain so many Pokemon of _all_ their energy, rather than just a bit at a time?" Ash asked.

"Because a bit at a time isn't enough! The restorative effects of the drained energy wears off pretty fast, so from time to time I need a bit more of a boost to keep myself from becoming old and weak," Ford explained. "So when one of the fighters becomes a liability, or starts snooping about too much, or just proves to be an attractive target, I snatch 'em up, bring 'em here, and suck every last drop of life force from their bodies! Just like I'm gonna do to you, Gonzales…once I take all of that Aura power inside you, I won't need another 'tune-up' for a long time to come, giving me a chance to lay low, reinvent myself, open up a new arena when the coast is clear, and start all over again!"

_Wow,_ Ash thought to himself. _When Leo said he might be a vampire, he wasn't entirely wrong!_ "So that's why Andy vanished…he got too close to the truth, so you had to silence him the best way you knew how!"

Ford nodded. "That's right!"

"But wait, then why did you get rid of The Brock? He wasn't causing you any trouble, and no offense to him, but he's not exactly a good source for power if strong fighters are what you're into," said the puzzled Ash.

Ford chuckled. "Actually, it was you who gave me the idea, Gonzales!"

Ash blinked. "Huh?"

"The Brock has a ton of little siblings, and he is—or rather, _was_—their only legal guardian. With him out of the way, they're orphans without a friend in the world," Ford explained. "Once I'd greased enough palms to convince child services that he wasn't coming back anytime soon, I planned to adopt them…both to get good PR and seem like a caring Pokemon, but also so I could train them to be powerful fighters loyal only to me, just like you intended to do with that Larvitar of yours."

Ash gasped. "That's horrible!"

"What's even more horrible is how that won't happen now…since I'm going to need to go dark to escape the loan Sharpedos that are coming after me, I can't afford to care for a bunch of snot-nosed kids," Ford continued. "Which means they'll either wind up homeless and on the streets where they'll probably starve to death (or get eaten)…or child services will split them up and put them in orphanages where they will either find willing families to adopt them or stay there until the system kicks them out on their own. Either way, they'll probably grow up to be maladjusted misPokemonic individuals who'll hate the world and curse their brother for abandoning them just like their deadbeat parents. And it'll all be your fault, too, since if you hadn't ruined me I would have been able to give them the care they need!"

Ash gaped. "That's…that's ridiculous! They wouldn't even be in this problem to begin with if you hadn't gotten rid of their brother! It's your fault, not mine!"

"That's what my ex-wives always used to say…" Ford muttered under his breath.

"Did you make them disappear too?" Ash asked snidely.

"I was tempted to more than once, I'll tell you that much," Ford admitted.

Ash growled. "I'd say you wouldn't get away with this, except that you clearly have been for the last decade, so I'll suffice to warn you that my friends will make you pay for this! I wouldn't be surprised if they burst in here any minute now and put a stop to this!"

"I find that unlikely, seeing as how I have them trapped in their own room, guarded by several of my finest enforcers, and am planning on draining their energy next," Ford said.

"Ah," Ash said. "That could be a problem."

"Yes," Ford said. "It could be." He snapped his fingers.

The arena started rumbling. The bars for the cage match began to rise from the sides of the stage, though thankfully no lava emerged from the floor. As the bars grew up over their heads, one of the many clusters of light fixtures hooked up to the maze of scaffolding and catwalks dangling from the ceiling detached itself from the rest and lowered towards the floor on a series of very thick cables and pylons, swiftly revealing itself to be not a bunch of lights at all but something much more sinister. It was a fair-sized hemispherical machine, with the curved side facing down and several spotlights fixed to the bottom. On top of the machine were complex and no doubt very expensive pieces of high-tech electronic equipment, dozens of banks of blinking lights and flashing screens and control panels and circuit boards all surrounding a glowing green power core. Standing proudly atop the core was a revolving upside-down basket-shaped dish made of gold wire and mesh containing a golden star-shaped jewel about the size of Ash's Rescue Team Badge placed on a small pedestal in the center, with wires running out from the base of the dish into the various consoles and pieces of machinery surrounding it, with even more cables coming out of those and running up into the darkness of the ceiling.

_The third Star Badge…_ Ash thought. (Well, technically it was the _fourth_ Star Badge, depending on how you counted.) At last, he'd found it! Or rather, it had found him…

The machine stopped its descent several meters above them, and the curving cage bars slid into holes in its side, locking the device in place. The Machamp guards suddenly threw Ash to the ground and ran away, squeezing through the gaps in the bars to join their compatriots outside. Realizing there wasn't a force field up—not yet, anyway—Ash made to run after them, but Ford, demonstrating astonishing agility, snatched him by the tail, raised him into the air, and flailed him wildly about so that he smashed into the ground repeatedly, keeping him too off-balance to fight back. Ford released Ash's tail, but only long enough for him to grab the Lucario's face and leap high into the air, dragging Ash with him. Ash clawed and kicked and tried to break free, but Ford was ridiculously strong and didn't even seem to notice the blows. With a mighty cry, he hurled Ash downward, causing him to smash face-first into the ground, then shot at him with a Blaze Kick that connected with Ash's gut as he tried to get back up, cracking several ribs, giving him severe burns, and sending him flying across the ring. He hit the ground and rolled over and over across the hard floor, the rough and jagged surface formed by his fight with Wes and heat-hardened by the lava abrading and cutting into his skin. He gasped in pain as he finally came to a stop, astonished by Ford's power and by his own seeming inability to fight back. Surely he hadn't been _that_ worn out by his fight with Wes, had he? Then again, if Ford had had this machine of his running _then,_ too… "What's wrong, Gonzales? Don't tell me you want to call it quits already! We've barely gotten started!" Ford taunted.

"If you're going to steal my energy anyway…then why are you beating the crap out of me?!" Ash wheezed as he staggered up off the ground.

"For fun, mainly," Ford said. "But partly because I've always been curious to see how you would do in the ring against an old fighter like myself…and also because I want to take the money you lost me out of your sanctimonious hide, Mr. 'Honor and Fair Play!'"

"You sick son of a bitch!" Ash snarled, his paws curling into fists.

"Don't you talk smack about my dear old mom like that!" Ford said with a smirk. "Though admittedly, she was even greedier than I, believe it or not. Now…come on! Put up your dukes! I know you're not one to go down without a fight…and this is the biggest fight of all, the fight for your life! It doesn't get better than this!"

"For _you_, you mean," Ash growled, body tensing as he got into a fighter's stance.

Ford grinned. "Pretty much…oh, hey, you don't mind fighting with a handicap, do you?"

Ash blinked in confusion. "Huh? What do you-" Suddenly, two of the spotlights above them switched on, one focusing on Ash and the other on Ford. The machine hummed and began powering up, the Star Badge glowing and crackling with energy as the basket it was in started rotating faster. Ash gasped in pain as the light focused on him flashed, and he nearly fell to his knees as he felt…_something_ being mercilessly sucked away from him. "Uhhh…you…you turned the machine on?!"

"Yep," Ford said, flexing his muscles as the spotlight focused on him did the opposite of what was happening to Ash, pouring energy _into_ him rather than taking it away.

"But…ungh…but that's…how do you expect me to fight like this?!" Ash demanded.

"I don't, really," Ford said, cracking his knuckles. "I expect you to put up a feeble struggle as I painfully break every bone in your body and splatter your blood all over this here battlefield, growing weaker with every breath you take…while I grow ever stronger, thanks to the constant theft of your life force."

"That's…" Ash ground his teeth in rage. "You piece of…ha, of course, it all makes sense now. You know you can't beat me in a fair fight, so you're cheating by turning this into a one-sided match because it's the only way you can win, isn't it?"

Ford laughed. "Ha! Whatever saves your ego, kid. Not that you're going to have one for much longer. Because once I've finished using you for a punching bag and soaked up all your power, you're going to be nothing more than another trophy for my collection!" His wrists ignited. "So come on, let's do this! My victory is a foregone conclusion…but you might as well try fighting back, to give yourself some false hope that you might actually make it out of here alive!"

Ash narrowed his eyes and would have done just that…if the Star Badge hadn't suddenly started spinning faster, stealing more energy from him and causing the gem to light up so brightly that it illuminated the whole room. Everyone looked up in surprise. "What the…it's never done that before," said a confused Ford.

Ash's eyes widened in horror, recognizing the light as it shone down on him. "No…" he whispered as a numbness filled his body. "Not…not now…I can't…I need to…" He took a few staggering steps forward. "I…need…to…" His eyes rolled back in his head and he fell to the ground, unconscious before he hit the floor.

Ford blinked. The guards exchanged puzzled looks. "Well, that was anticlimactic," one of them said.

None of them were aware of the turmoil currently brewing in Ash's slumbering mind as more of his forgotten memories, stirred to life by the light of the Star Badge, revealed themselves yet again…

…

Meanwhile, back in the champion's suite…

"Well? Any luck?" Leo called up to Pikachu, whose rear was sticking out of an air vent.

Pikachu sighed, backed out of the vent and dropped to the ground, handing back the penlight Leo had given to him. "No go. It's too small for us to fit through."

"Darn! Well, it's not like air vent escapes happen that often in the real world, anyway," Leo said. "It was a good thought, though."

"Just not one that worked," Pikachu grumbled. He had taken a leaf from Leo's book and tried to think of a more creative way to escape from their prison. He had recalled that one of the Wonders of Mt. Battle spoke of strange ghostly whispers that could sometimes be heard in the champion's suite, and figured that, like the rest of the Wonders they'd encountered so far, there might be a nugget of truth to it. Thinking reasonably, he figured the whispers were not the voices of defeated champions (or of Ford's victims, or so they hoped), but noise and snatches of conversation from another part of the building carried to the suite either through a secret compartment or an air vent. It was not an unreasonable hypothesis, given how lousy the facility had proven to be so far with secret rooms, so they had immediately begun searching the suite from top to bottom. Unfortunately, they had not found any secret rooms or passageways, and the only suitable air vent was, as Pikachu had discovered to his chagrin, too small for any of them to fit through. "I don't suppose anyone else has an idea?" he asked, looking to the others. Sasha shrugged. Tiny shuddered and hugged himself, as he had been doing frequently for the last few minutes. Something told him that his caretaker was in trouble…and for reasons he couldn't quite fathom, that upset him and made him worried. He didn't like being worried. Caring about the welfare of others did not come naturally to him.

"I do," Leo said. "You wouldn't happen to have any rope, would you?"

Pikachu nodded. "No good Rescue Team leaves home without some. Why?"

"Why don't we just go out the back way? Tie our ropes together—I have some too, of course--and climb down to the ground from the balcony outside?" Leo suggested.

"That's brilliant! Great idea, Leo!" Pikachu said.

"Ah, one problem," Sasha said. "How am I to come with you?"

Pikachu and Leo paused, then glanced at Sasha's paws, which were indeed unsuitable for climbing. "That may be a problem…" Leo muttered.

"Could we turn our ropes into a harness and lower her down, then climb after her?" Pikachu suggested.

Leo shook his head. "No way, we're too small and weak to lower something as heavy as Sasha! Er, not to imply you're fat or anything," he said quickly to the Absol.

"There is no shame in having lots of weight. It means you are healthy and well-fed," Sasha said, perplexed by Leo's apology.

"Unless you have too much of it…" Pikachu said, glancing at Leo's paunch. The Squirtle covered it up self-consciously. "I don't suppose _you_ have any ideas, Tiny?"

Tiny thought for a moment. Then he belched. They sighed. "Yeah, that's what I thought…" Pikachu muttered.

Leo gasped. "Wait! The harness idea could still work! Give me a sec." He rummaged in his shell and pulled out his book by MacGyver, then hurriedly started flipping through it. "Aha! Just as I thought! If we scavenge the apartment, I can build a motorized winch and a complex series of pulleys we can use to lower Sasha without breaking our backs! All we need is the motor from the refrigerator, our ropes, the toilet paper holder from the bathroom, a remote control, some rubber bands, a ball of yarn, a bunch of paperclips, and a half dozen cans of carbonated beverage."

"Why do we need the carbonated beverages?" Sasha asked.

"I'm thirsty and in the mood for some soda," Leo said. They sweatdropped.

It quickly proved that Leo's plan would prove unnecessary, however. They heard some muffled shouts and cries of alarm from outside, followed by the loud noise of explosions, things getting knocked about and smacked into each other, and generally getting the crap kicked out of it. There was an almost ominous silence after the screams died down, followed by a knock on the door. The heroes exchanged surprised looks. "Do you suppose Miss Maple has showed up to rescue us again?" Sasha asked uncertainly.

"I don't know, but there's one way to find out," Pikachu said, drawing his sword. He advanced towards the door, backed by the others (and in Tiny's case, very far back) in time for their visitor to knock again. Pikachu grabbed the knob and flung the door open…

And nearly dropped his sword in surprise. Very unprofessional of him. "Wes?!" Pikachu cried in astonishment, seeing the ex-champion Espeon standing before him, his lavender fur stained with blood.

"Dude, it's Wes!" Leo gasped. "Quick Tiny, hide the beer cans, we can't let him know you were drinking his old stash!" Tiny sucked on his pacifier and did nothing.

"Hey guys. Enjoying the room?" Wes asked casually.

"Er, yes, I suppose," Pikachu said, understandably confused. "What are you doing here?"

"Saving your tails, what's it look like?" Wes asked, stepping aside so they could see into the hallway, the floor of which was now littered with groaning and occasionally twitching bodies. Rui was going from Pokemon to Pokemon, kicking guards in the head and groin to make sure they stayed out cold, while Gonzap deprived them of their watches and the contents of their wallets. (Old habits died hard.) A satisfied-looking May, who was no longer wearing her glasses, and a small Treecko wearing thick nerdy glasses and carrying a laptop looked on from the sidelines.

Leo whistled, impressed. "Wow. Must've been quite a battle."

"Piece of cake, really," Wes assured them.

"I'm guessing none of that blood on your fur is yours, then," Sasha said.

"Not a drop," Wes promised.

"Not to complain, but shouldn't you still be in the Pokemon Center?" Pikachu asked him as they came out into the hallway, stepping over splayed limbs and tails.

"I recovered in time to help when I heard Gonzales was in trouble," Wes explained. "I'm still not in peak condition, but I'm strong enough to take down clowns like these."

"So long as you have backup, you mean," Gonzap said, looking up from one of the guards he was robbing. "You wouldn't have such a cocky look on your face if we hadn't been watching your back!"

"Just keep telling yourself that, Pops," Wes replied.

May and the Treecko approached them. "Plus, Night Slash, King K, Tiny. I'm glad we could get here in time to rescue you," the Combusken said.

"That's twice we owe you now," Pikachu said.

"Who's your companion?" Sasha asked, glancing at the Treecko.

The lizard stepped forward. "My name is Max Maple. I'm May's little brother…and I've been dealing with your group for quite some time now."

"Then you're the guy who's been sending us all those clues and messages ever since we got here?" Pikachu realized at once. "And who's been investigating Mt. Battle with May's help to try and figure out what's been causing all the disappearances?"

Max nodded. "That's right."

"Strange, I was expecting someone a little fatter," Leo commented. Max frowned at him.

"How did the two of you get yourselves involved in something like this?" Pikachu asked.

Max scowled. "When our father, Norman Maple—though you would know him as King Sloth--disappeared, our mom took it very hard. We refused to believe that he had died or just ran out on us, so we tried to get people's attention and make the authorities look for him. But Ford silenced every investigation that looked into our father's disappearance, and he did the same thing every time somebody else vanished."

"How'd he do that, anyway?" Sasha asked.

"Through money and death threats, probably," Leo guessed. May and Max nodded to indicate he was right.

"That bastard…and to think, I've been helping him draw in money and victims all these years…" Wes growled.

"You didn't seem to have any qualms about helping me do illegal stuff for years," Gonzap pointed out.

"That's different, you're family. I have to forgive you. For some reason," Wes said.

"And it's because of _our_ family that we didn't just buckle under like Ford intended," May said proudly.

Max nodded. "We used the hush money he gave us to fund a more discrete investigation of our own. Once we were both old enough and felt Mom was stable enough to be left on her own, we came to Battlus to look for answers. We figured that since Ford was trying so hard to make it look like the disappearances were regrettable but nothing to worry about, he had to have something to do with it."

"A wise decision," Sasha said.

"Especially because you were right," Leo said.

"I was able to get a job working as Ford's assistant, so that I could infiltrate his office and keep an eye on him," May continued.

"Meanwhile I, sticking to the shadows, using my tech-savvy and proxies like you guys, was able to piece together enough information over the last few years to figure out just what Ford's been up to…and how to stop him," Max said. "It's been a long road, and more than a few people wound up hurt or worse trying to help us, but thanks to the work you guys did I've been able to get everything I need to shut down Ford for good."

"We're actually a bit envious, really, that you managed to almost completely derail him today by causing his gambling scheme to backfire," May said. "Now the carefully-built case we've been working on for ages will probably never see the light of day."

"But now that Ford's in danger of losing everything, he's panicked and given us just the opportunity we need to take him down and get our dad back," Max finished.

"Get him…so you think that what happened to him can be reversed?" Pikachu asked. "And the others too?"

Max nodded. "Definitely! Thanks to the blueprints you found in that secret office, along with a bit of hacking and extrapolation here and there, I've figured out how to set the machine to change Pokemon back from trophies to their original forms."

"Cool!" said Leo. "Can I help? I'm pretty good with machines myself."

"Really? I thought you were just another gangbanger," May said skeptically.

Leo scowled. "Hey, that's just an act, babe! Beneath all this bling and gold paint beats the heart of a true hero…and the brain of a mad genius!"

"We'll need all that and more if we're to succeed," Max said. "We don't have much time. Just a short while ago, we got a message from Nurse Joy—she's been in on our plan since the beginning—that Ford had abducted Gonzales from her ward and was going to 'disappear' him. Knowing that he would try and keep you guys incapacitated so you couldn't stop him, we recruited Wes and his friends to help rescue you so that we could save Gonzales together."

"It'll take all of us working together to stop Ford before he makes Gonzales into another one of his sick minifigures," Wes said.

Gonzap nodded in agreement. "Yeah, you guys wouldn't last a second without us!"

"We greatly appreciate your help," Sasha said.

"Dude, this is so cool! We're teaming up with the legendary Wes Psyche to take down some bad guys!" Leo squealed excitedly. "This is the sort of thing I've only experienced in dreams…or fanfiction."

"If we don't have much time, then we need to hurry," Pikachu said. "Let's go!"

Wes glanced over his shoulder. "Rui, you can stop pummeling those guards now, it's time to head out!"

"Awww, but this one's still breathing!" Rui complained. "And I think I've caught this one here fantasizing about me a few times…"

"You can beat him up later, we need to go now!" Wes said.

Rui sighed and trotted over. "Oh, all right…"

"I tell you, that girl's mood swings scares me sometimes," Gonzap whispered to Pikachu and the others. "One minute she can be the sweetest, kindest, gentlest womon around, the next she's a violent firespitter that can give even my boy Wes a run for his money."

"Cool. I like that kind of thing in a womon!" Leo said.

Sasha glanced at him. "Yes, you would, wouldn't you?"

"Hmm…that actually sounds a lot like someone I know." Pikachu frowned, rubbing his chin as he looked at Rui in a new light. Now that he thought about it, he _did_ see a resemblance…could Rui possibly be related to _her_? No, it couldn't be, the chances of that were…He grimaced, suddenly remembering that probability and low odds didn't seem to have much meaning around them. Some might call it fate, he thought it was contrived, and Leo probably had a whole other term for it. Either way, he'd have to ask Rui about it later, it certainly would be interesting if she was a relative of _her._

That question would have to wait, however, because what was important at that moment was saving Ash! "What's important now is saving Gonzales," Pikachu said, raising his sword into the air. "So let's go!"

And so they went, leaving the mostly unconscious guards bleeding in the hallway behind them. "Are they gone?" one Pokemon who had only pretended to be knocked out asked.

"I think so," said another.

"Good. That was really scary for a minute there. I didn't sign on for this shit," the first guy said. "I think we should consider renegotiating our contracts…or quitting."

"I don't know…I thought it was kinda hot when that Umbreon was beating the crap out of the others," the second Pokemon commented.

"…You're weird, Frank," the first guard said.

"Yeah, I know," said Frank. "I know."

…

_Please…don't die…_

_I'm so sorry…_

The Supreme Stadium rang with screams as lightning bolts shot all over the place and came dangerously close to striking them, the air filled with the deafening boom of thunder as the clouds swallowed up the sky above them and blotted out the sun, casting the entire city into darkness. Abruptly the clouds burst open, but it was not rain that poured forth from their depths but ships, immense white flying vessels bristling with spines and cannons and other deadly protuberances. Each ship had a very familiar mark on it, a blazing 'A' seared upon the surface of a scorched planet, the emblem of Annihilation. Seeing this, the audience only screamed all the louder at the realization that the dreaded terrorist group was right there in their city, just over their heads, their cries of terror drowning out the President's desperate pleas for order and calm.

Paul frowned, his expression even grimmer than usual. Ash's jaw dropped in horror as the ships swiveled their weapons on the city below and began to open fire, launching missiles and shooting lasers and dropping bombs, tearing buildings apart and leveling blocks and killing thousands of humans and Pokemon in the opening salvo. "No…this…this can't…this can't be happening!" Why? Why now, of all days, did this have to happen? Couldn't he ever do _anything_ without being dragged into another adventure to save the world from absolute destruction anymore?!

"Pikapi…" Pikachu whispered, trembling with fear.

"Damn!" Giovanni cursed, up in the seats. "It's even worse than I had feared…quickly, we need to erect the shelter. Have all of you taken those pills I gave you?"

The other Rockets nodded as they helped their Boss pull some surprisingly sophisticated equipment out of their cart and moved the umbrella on top so that it blocked them from view from the rest of the stadium. "What are they supposed to do again?" James asked as he struggled with some wires and got himself all wrapped up in them.

"Dey're supposed to protect us from Lord Null, ya dope!" Meowth said, trying to help James out of his predicament only to get tangled up himself. Persian rolled his eyes and slashed them free with his claws, slicing open their skin in the process. Their screams of pain brought an amused smile to his whiskered face.

"Right. How will they do that, exactly?" James asked as he wiggled his hands to get some feeling back in them and tried to staunch the bleeding from Persian's claws.

Meowth paused. "Uh…"

Jessie snorted. "It's obvious! Um…Boss, how do they work again?"

"The science behind them is incredibly complicated. I only partially understand it myself," Giovanni said as he hooked some cables into the umbrella's shaft and flicked some switches on a number of boxes he had affixed to the side of the cart. "Our scientists developed them while trying to create an immortality elixir. Theoretically, they should not only make us impossible to kill—though we didn't get enough time before Annihilation's attack to find out how long the effect lasts—but also keep us from being detected by Psychics or whatever other method Annihilation has been using to seek out and destroy living things."

"Oh. Neat!" James said eagerly.

"Wait, whaddya mean 'theoretically?'" Meowth asked.

Giovanni hesitated. "Well, we weren't able to thoroughly test them before Annihilation destroyed Team Rocket, so…there's a thirty percent chance they won't work at all, and a twenty-two percent chance they'll kill us."

There was a long silence as they considered this. "…Well, um, that still gives us a forty eight percent chance of it working, right?" James asked optimistically.

"Thirty five percent chance, actually. There's a thirteen percent chance we'll explode," Giovanni confessed.

Oddly enough, this reassured them. "Exploding? Oh, that's a relief," Jessie said.

"Yeah, we've blown up so many times by now we're sort of used to it. I was worried we'd melt from the inside out or burst into flames or change genders," James said.

"Or even switch species, like people do in fanfics all the time," Meowth commented.

"I'm not used to exploding, or any of those other things, and do not look forward to experiencing them," the Boss said. "That's why we're setting up this device built into the cart which will hopefully create a shield to protect us from the impending attack just in case the pills fail but don't kill us horribly."

"No giant robot?" Meowth asked, looking disappointed.

Giovanni rolled his eyes. "No Meowth, for the last time, no giant robot!"

"Awww…" all three Rockets groaned. Giovanni's eye twitched and he wondered for the seven thousand eight hundred and ninety third time why he had to get stuck with these three rather than minions who had more than one brain cell apiece to rub together.

While panic spread throughout the stadium, tension was building in the private box where Ash's friends and family were sitting, too. "Wh-what's going on?!" Delia cried.

"It looks like the end of the world…again…" Brock groaned.

"Annihilation is attacking, just like I thought I might, in spite of the government's insistence that it wouldn't!" Gary said angrily. "They could have taken proper measures to prepare for this, or canceled the match because it was too big a target, but _no_, they couldn't possibly lose all the money they've spent on this tournament!"

"Gary, the time for moral indignation is later," Oak said, rising from his seat and reaching for a Pokeball. "We need to get out of here before one of those ships starts attacking us!"

"What about Ash?" Misty asked anxiously, glancing down at the red box in the arena below and the trainer she loved whom was standing in it.

"He's Ash! I'm sure he'll find a way out of there and make his way to us safely," Dawn said confidently.

May nodded in agreement. "Yeah, like he always does!"

"I guess…" Misty said, though she didn't look too certain. Togekiss floated close to her mother for reassurance, though whether it was Misty or Togekiss who needed reassurance the most neither was certain. She took one last look at Ash, who was staring up at the hovering doomships with a stricken and resigned expression on his face, then reluctantly nodded. "All right. Let's get-"

She didn't get the chance to finish her sentence. Before anyone could make it to the exits, the doors slammed shut and locked in the faces of the fleeing members of the audience, trapping them in the stadium. They wailed and wept and begged and pleaded and desperately banged on the doors, but it was no use, they wouldn't budge. The President had given up trying to hold things together and was rather frantically trying to get the doors on his balcony to open, but even with the help of all the other dignitaries and League officials they refused to move an inch. "We can't get out," he whispered, tears streaming down his face as he suffered a breakdown. "WE CAN'T GET OUT! WE'RE SITTING PSYDUCKS, WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!"

"Sir, you could just escape on one of your Pokemon," a bodyguard pointed out.

The President and the other panicky leaders paused, Mareepish expressions on their faces as they realized how silly they had been acting and how they had missed the obvious solution. "Right. Of course," the President said, reaching for one of his Pokeballs.

Before he, or anyone else in the stadium, could call out any Pokemon to save them, a beam of light shot down from the swirling clouds overhead, smashing down in the center of the arena with an impact that shook the building and cratered the field. "Whoa!" Ash cried, raising an arm to shield his face from the mass of dirt and smoke thrown up by the explosion. "What was that?!"

When the air cleared and he could see what had just landed in the Supreme Stadium, he wished he hadn't asked. Everyone went silent, an eerie supernatural chill filling the air as the millions of people filling the stadium stared at what was standing in their midst while the city of Poketropolis burned around them: a hulking figure, at least twenty feet tall and covered from head to toe in thick white armor, most of which was hidden behind a very long white cape hanging from a wide mantle on its shoulders. That was about all that could be clearly told about the figure, however, for some reason the eye just seemed to slide off it even when one was staring right at it, making it difficult to make out any other prominent features. This only made the figure seem even more eerie and otherworldly, of course, and so everyone in the stadium, intimidated by the being's appearance—or lack thereof--held their collective breaths, waiting for the entity to make the first move.

It did not fail to oblige. I AM LORD NULL, THE LEADER OF ANNIHILATION, the being boomed in a telepathic voice so loud and deep that it made everyone cringe and clutch their heads in pain, feeling migraines coming on. AND I AM YOUR END.

Lord Null waited a moment for this to sink in, for the fear to show on everyone's faces as they abruptly realized who they were dealing with, and then he continued. I HAVE PASSED JUDGMENT ON YOUR PLANET AND ALL WHO LIVE ON IT. I CONDEMN YOU...TO _OBLIVION!_

And then he exploded. There was no other way to describe it, really. A huge dome of blinding white energy expanded outwards from the towering figure so quickly that nobody had time to get under cover or brace themselves or even scream before it was on them, engulfing the entire stadium in mere seconds. The dome shimmered, like a beautiful iridescent bubble of death, before fading away.

Ash and Pikachu were surprised to discover they were completely unharmed. So was Paul, as well as all of the people and Pokemon who had been sitting in the private box. The rest of the stadium, however, was not so lucky.

Skeletons were everywhere, their bones scorched black and smoke rising from their twisted forms, their emaciated figures frozen in the same positions they had been in as they died, charred outlines blasted onto the walls behind them like macabre negative shadows. Ash, his friends, and Paul were the only ones who had been spared. Everyone else, all the countless millions who had been in the stadium, had been killed remorselessly and as easily as snuffing out a candle's flame between finger and thumb. Stunned, Ash staggered back and nearly fell off the rear of his platform as he and Pikachu stared wildly about in disbelief. "This…this is…" Ash gasped.

"Pikapika…" Pikachu murmured in agreement.

"What…what in the name of…" Oak whispered in horror.

"Did…did he just…" Brock stammered.

"This…this can't be possible," Delia said in denial.

"They're…they're _dead?!_ Everyone dead, just like…" May cried. Shaking, Dawn collapsed back into her seat, so overcome by horror she had trouble breathing.

"No…" Misty whispered, hugging Togekiss to her chest. "No…"

Gary, however, was the only one who asked the question that really mattered. "Why aren't we dead, too?"

They were surprised to receive an answer. BECAUSE OF ASH, Lord Null replied.

Ash stiffened. "Wh-what?"

THEY ARE ASSOCIATED WITH YOU. I DID NOT DEEM YOU DESERVING OF DEATH, AND SO I SPARED THOSE CLOSE TO YOU AS WELL. THINK OF IT AS A FAVOR, Lord Null explained.

"A favor? A _favor?!" _Ash screamed. "Y-you just murdered millions of people, are killing countless others right now, and you decided to spare a handful as a favor to _me?! WHY?!_ I don't even _know_ you! Why would you-_"_

I DO NOT NEED TO EXPLAIN MYSELF. I HAVE PASSED JUDGMENT UPON THIS WORLD. EVERY LIVING THING SHALL BE EXTERMINATED…SAVE FOR YOU AND THOSE CLOSE TO YOU. YOU SHOULD BE GRATEFUL AND PRAY THAT I DO NOT CHANGE MY MIND, Lord Null said. Ash gaped, too stunned to say anything. What, was he supposed to _thank_ the genocidal maniac for deciding to spare a few dozen out of countless billions just because they happened to be related to him? A heavy weight settled on his shoulders (metaphorically, of course, otherwise Pikachu might have gotten crushed), as he realized with quite a bit of resignation that no matter what he did, he couldn't seem to escape from being more 'special' than everyone else. Although considering that his 'specialness' had just kept those he cared for from getting killed, he wondered why he was complaining.

"Then why did you spare me?" Paul asked. Ash blinked in surprise. He had almost forgotten Paul was still there. Wait, why _was_ he still there? "I have nothing and _want_ nothing to do with that weakling. Why, then, did you spare me…and kill my hometown and family?"

Lord Null turned towards Paul. At least, Ash thought he did…it was kind of hard to tell. I DID NOT SPARE YOU BECAUSE OF ANY AFFILIATION TO ASH.

Paul narrowed his eyes. "No?"

I SPARED YOU SO I COULD KILL YOU MYSELF, Lord Null explained.

There was a pause. "But…um…you just killed everyone in this stadium by yourself. So…how does sparing him from that killing just to murder him right after make any sense?" asked a confused Brock.

Everyone gave him incredulous looks and quickly took a few steps away from him. "Brock!" Misty hissed. "Don't draw attention to yourself from the omnicidal maniac!"

"Maybe he'll change his mind and kill _you_ for questioning him!" Gary agreed.

Brock turned pale. "Eep."

Lord Null did not appear to have heard Brock, or if he had, he didn't particularly care. I DESTROYED VEILSTONE AND ALL IN IT BECAUSE THEY SHELTERED SOME OF TEAM GALACTIC'S REMNANTS…ALTHOUGH TO BE FAIR, I WOULD HAVE DESTROYED THEM EVENTUALLY ANYWAY, JUST AS I AM CURRENTLY LAUNCHING STRIKES SIMILAR TO THIS ONE IN EVERY CITY ON THE PLANET. Everyone gasped in horror as they heard this, minds racing as they thought of their friends and families in their hometowns…and how they were probably dying horribly at that very moment. YOUR FAMILY'S DEATHS WERE IMPERSONAL. THEY JUST HAPPENED TO BE THERE, SO THEY DIED, JUST AS ALL THE PEOPLE IN THIS STADIUM WERE HERE, SO _THEY_ DIED. IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. I DON'T SEE WHY YOU CARE, THOUGH…IT'S NOT LIKE YOU HAD ANY AFFECTION FOR THEM ANYWAY.

"I don't," Paul said. "I was only wondering."

I KNOW. JUST AS YOU ARE NOW WONDERING WHY YOU ARE STILL ALIVE, THOUGH NOT FOR LONG. THE ANSWER IS SIMPLE. EVERYONE I KILLED MOMENTS AGO WAS GUILTY OF SOMETHING…MAINLY, OF EXISTING. I AM AWARE THAT MAKES ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE TO YOU, BUT THAT DOES NOT MATTER TO ME. I GO BY A DIFFERENT SET OF MORALS AND LOGIC THAN YOU. YOU, HOWEVER, PAUL, ARE FAR GUILTIER THAN ALMOST ANYONE IN THIS STADIUM WAS…EXCEPT FOR THE PRESIDENT OF POKETROPOLIS, WHAT WITH HIS HABIT OF MOLESTING YOUNG POKEMON.

They gasped. "So the rumors were true!" Oak realized.

"I'm glad _I_ didn't vote for him! Although that would be because I live in another country…" said Delia.

"Is that really something we should be fixated on right now?" May wondered.

"What did _I_ do?!" Paul asked incredulously. Ash already knew the answer.

I AM NOT FOND OF POKEMON TRAINERS IN GENERAL, BUT YOU ARE ONE OF THE WORST I HAVE EVER SEEN. YOU ABANDON POKEMON YOU DEEM TOO WEAK TO BE OF ANY USE TO YOU, AND ABUSE THOSE WHO REMAIN AND HAVE THEM ATTACK EACH OTHER ALMOST TO THE DEATH BECAUSE YOU BELIEVE IT WILL MAKE THEM STRONGER.

"It does," Paul insisted. "I'm training my Pokemon to be the best they can be. Everyone else is too spineless to go the distance and do what needs to be done." Any sympathy anyone in the arena might have still had for Paul dropped to zero in that moment. (Not that there were really many people left to pity him, but still.)

YOU ARE WRONG. BUT YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND THAT, BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO HEART, DO YOU? Lord Null asked. I SINGLED YOU OUT FROM EVERYONE ELSE BECAUSE YOUR CRIMES DEMANDED A MUCH MORE SEVERE PUNISHMENT THEN WHAT I INFLICTED ON THE OTHERS…THOUGH IN RETROSPECT, PERHAPS I SHOULD HAVE KEPT THAT PRESIDENT ALIVE A BIT LONGER. OH WELL. TOO LATE NOW. I CAN KILL PEOPLE, BUT RESURRECTING THEM IS NOT ONE OF MY POWERS. NOT YET, ANYWAY.

"I don't intend to go down without a fight," Paul said, taking out his Pokeballs. "Standby, everyone!" He flung them onto the field. They burst open in a flash of light, revealing a Torterra, Electivire, Magmortar, Weavile, Gliscor, and Honchkrow. Ash hesitated for a moment, and then reached for his Pokeballs too. He wasn't exactly a fan of Paul, but he didn't want to watch him get killed, either!

Lord Null made an amused chuckle. I HAD HOPED YOU WOULD DO THAT. Suddenly, a blue glow surrounded all of Paul's Pokemon. Their eyes flashed, and slowly they turned to face their trainer, eyes glowing red. Paul blinked in surprise. "What-" Suddenly, a glow encompassed him, too, freezing him in place.

"Pipikachu?!" a startled Pikachu cried.

"Hey, what're you doing?!" Ash yelled.

Lord Null didn't even bother turning to glance at him. Suddenly, Ash found himself paralyzed, as were Pikachu, and his friends up in the untouched box, all of their hands frozen inches away from their Pokeballs. THIS IS NONE OF YOUR CONCERN. I FIND THE FACT THAT YOU WOULD DEFEND SOMEONE LIKE PAUL SIMULTANEOUSLY IMPRESSIVE…AND ALSO RATHER PATHETIC. I WILL DEAL WITH YOU ONCE HE IS DEAD. AH, BUT THANK YOU FOR REMINDING ME… One of Ash's Pokeballs suddenly levitated off his belt and floated out onto the field. THE EXECUTION WOULD NOT BE QUITE AS FITTING WITHOUT THIS ONE INVOLVED, NOW WOULD IT?

"But that's-" Ash's eyes widened as he suddenly realized which Pokeball Paul had taken. He got a very bad feeling that he knew what method of execution Lord Null was about to use. "No—wait! Don't do this!"

"What-what's he doing?" May wondered.

"And how is he keeping us from moving? This is rather uncomfortable!" Oak complained.

"He must be some kind of psychic…though the telepathy made that sort of obvious. That doesn't clear anything up, though! Is he human? Pokemon? Something else altogether?" Gary wondered.

"Maybe even an alien…" Brock theorized. "It would explain a lot of things. Like the ships, and his weird powers...and how he's so _big._"

"That Pokeball…that's Infernape's!" Dawn realized suddenly.

Delia gasped. "Infernape?! But…don't he and Paul…"

"Oh no," Misty whispered. "I have a horrible feeling about this."

She was right to. Infernape's Pokeball popped open, and the fire monkey materialized on the field. He looked around in understandable confusion at the millions of corpses and the wrecked stadium and the towering white figure nearby, but all that faded from his mind when he saw his former trainer. His pupils shrank and he screeched wildly, beating his chest as his flames burned higher. His eyes started glowing red, though whether it was because of Lord Null's power or due to his sheer rage and hatred for Paul was unclear.

DO YOU WANT TO MAKE PAUL PAY FOR ALL THE SUFFERING HE HAS INFLICTED ON YOU? The maddened snarl of fury from Infernape was all the answer Null needed. He turned to the rest of Paul's Pokemon. AND WHAT OF YOU? DO YOU WISH TO RETURN THE KINDNESS THAT PAUL HAS GIVEN YOU IN 'MAKING YOU STRONGER?'

Paul snorted. "They would never-" All six of his Pokemon howled their agreement to Lord Null's offer. Paul's eyes widened. "Wh-what?! But…even you, Torterra?!"

WHAT DID YOU THINK? THAT THEY WOULD REMAIN LOYAL TO A TRAINER WHO TREATED THEM LIKE OBJECTS, TO BE USED AND DISCARDED AS YOU PLEASED? WHO HURT THEM AND NEVER SHOWED ANY APPRECIATION OR GRATITUDE FOR EVERYTHING THEY HAVE DONE FOR YOU? WHO DID NOT LOVE THEM? ALL VICTIMS OF ABUSE HAVE A BREAKING POINT. THEY REACHED THEIRS A LONG TIME AGO, Null said. EVEN YOUR PRECIOUS STARTER LOST FAITH IN YOU YEARS AGO.

"Torterra…" Paul whispered, actually sounding remorseful and sorry for the first time Ash had ever known him. Despite himself, he couldn't help feeling sorry for the guy.

Lord Null, however, had no sympathy for anyone. YOU TREATED THEM LIKE GARBAGE. NOW YOU MUST PAY THE CONSEQUENCES. GO, he said to Paul's Pokemon (and Infernape). HE'S ALL YOURS.

With a roar of delight, the seven Pokemon lunged at Paul. Immobilized, the purple-haired boy could do nothing but scream as they fell upon him. "No! NO! NOOOOOOOOO!"

"Infernape, stop! STOP!" Ash screamed. "Don't do this!"

Infernape didn't listen. None of the Pokemon did, as they eagerly ripped off Paul's limbs, and tore out his eyes, and disemboweled him, and electrocuted him, and burned him alive, and feasted on his flesh and blood and organs. Held in place by Lord Null's power, the helpless humans and Pokemon could do nothing but look on in horror at the orgy of death, unable to even turn away from the carnage. After what felt like hours, the vengeful Pokemon finally finished their grisly work, blood dripping from their claws and fangs as they _danced_ away from the visceral smear on the ground that was all that remained of their former master. The only reason none of them threw up was because Lord Null had paralyzed too much of their bodies to let their stomachs forcibly eject their contents. "No…" Ash whispered. "Infernape…why?" Infernape licked his fangs, not looking the least bit regretful. What with the glowing eyes, though, he could have been mind controlled. Or he might not have been. Ash would never find out.

HE IS DEAD, Lord Null said, sounding pleased. The Pokeballs for Infernape and Paul's Pokemon rose into the air and shot red beams at the Pokemon, returning them to their spheres, which then vanished into the folds of the entity's voluminous cape. He turned to face Ash and the others. NOW FOR THE REST OF YOU.

They braced themselves (or as much as they could, given that they were paralyzed), but were not expecting Null to do what he did next. All their Pokeballs and active Pokemon were suddenly levitated into the air and away from their trainers. "My Pokemon!" Professor Oak cried.

"Mimey!" shouted Delia.

"Happiny!" wailed Brock.

"Umbreon!" yelled Gary.

"Munchlax, come back!" hollered May.

"Piplup! Ambipom! Buneary!" Dawn screamed.

"Togekiss!" Misty shrieked.

"PIKACHU!" Ash…um…darn, I've run out of synonyms for yelling. Er, he 'exclaimed?'

Ash struggled as hard as he could at the invisible force holding him back, as did the others, but it was no good, they were all as motionless as statues before Lord Null's overwhelming power. Their Pokemon screamed and cried out desperately for their trainers as they were inexorably dragged towards the imposing figure of Null. One by one they were sucked into the being's cape, the names of their trusted friends the last words on their lips (in their own languages, anyway). Pikachu was the last, and his terrified cries of "PIKAPI! PIKAPI! _PIKA-_" before he vanished into Null's white and blurry form broke Ash's heart and caused tears to stream down his cheeks. At least his tear ducts still seemed to be working.

"PIKACHU! PIKACHUUUUUU!" Ash howled. (Oh, that's a good one, should have used that instead of 'exclaimed.' Much more emotional.)

YOU HAVE NO NEED TO FEAR FOR THEIR LIVES, Null assured them. I HAVE NO INTENTION OF HARMING THEM. IF ANYTHING, THEY WILL BE SAFER WITH ME THAN ANYWHERE ELSE ON THIS DOOMED PLANET. I PROMISE THAT I WILL RESTORE THEM TO YOU IN DUE TIME, BUT NOT UNTIL AFTER I HAVE USED THEM FOR SOMETHING…SPECIAL.

That caught their attentions, and stopped their lamentation and weeping. "Special?" Gary wondered. "What does he mean by that?"

"What do you mean by that?!" Ash yelled.

"I just said that!" Gary snapped.

"Oh, sorry, didn't hear you," Ash apologized. "You know, what with me being all the way down here, and you being up there…"

"Ah, right," said Gary.

WHAT I INTEND TO DO WITH THEM IS NONE OF YOUR CONCERN, SAVE THAT THEY SHALL BE RETURNED TO YOU UNHARMED AND ALIVE, Lord Null promised. IN THE MEANTIME, AS FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO REMAIN-

He was interrupted when the ground began to tremble. "Oh great, now there's an earthquake on top of everything else?!" May cried.

"That's no ordinary earthquake…" Brock said, who knew a thing or two about quakes, what with the type of Pokemon he was into. (Okay, he was more into Rocks than Ground types, but they're related fields, aren't they?)

Suddenly, they could hear a tremendous roar in the distance, and what sounded like explosions. (Well, more of them, anyway.) The trembling grew stronger. AH. THEY ARE COMING. JUST AS I THOUGHT THEY WOULD, Lord Null said. SUCH PETTY GUARDIAN DEITIES. I DESTROY A FEW CITIES AND KILL MILLIONS, BUT IT'S NOT UNTIL I BEGIN GENOCIDE ON A GLOBAL SCALE THAT THEY DEIGN TO SLINK OUT OF THEIR LAIRS AND CHALLENGE ME. COWARDS.

"The…the legendaries are coming?" an astonished Oak realized.

Null nodded…maybe. THAT'S RIGHT. I KILLED EVERYONE IN THIS STADIUM AND LAUNCHED A MASSIVE WORLDWIDE ATTACK JUST TO DRAW THEM OUT. ALL THESE DEATHS WOULD HAVE BEEN UNNECESSARY IF THEY HAD SIMPLY TRIED TO STOP ME EARLIER, BUT I SUPPOSE THAT JUST GOES TO SHOW YOU HOW LITTLE THEY CARE ABOUT THE PLANET THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE PROTECTING, DOESN'T IT?...AH, BUT I SEE YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. PUT IT OUT OF YOUR MINDS. IT WILL BE OVER SOON ENOUGH ANYWAY. He glanced up at the sky. At least, they thought he did. THIS PLACE WILL VERY SHORTLY BECOME UNSUITABLE TO LIFE-FORMS SUCH AS YOURSELVES. I SHALL SEND YOU TO SAFETY. I DO NOT RECOMMEND YOU COME ANYWHERE NEAR THE CITY UNTIL MY BUSINESS WITH THE LEGENDARIES IS FINISHED. IT WOULD BE HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH.

"You're just going to send us away!?" asked an incredulous Misty.

YES. YOU SHOULD BE RELATIVELY SAFE. ONCE I AM FINISHED…I WILL DEAL WITH THE REST OF YOU, Lord Null said. Nobody liked the sound of that.

"You can't do this!" Ash protested.

YES I CAN, said Lord Null, teleporting them all away with a single thought. AND I JUST DID. NOW… He rose into the air and began flying towards the roaring and explosions. IT IS TIME…FOR AN ACCOUNTING.

_Please…don't die…_

_I'm so sorry…_

…

Back in Mt. Battle…

"Then my theory about Ford using the Star Badge to drain the energy out of the disappeared fighters into himself, turning them into minifigures in the process, was right? Yatta! I knew it! Score another one for Leo's genre-savviness!" Leo whooped as Max filled them in on what was going on while they raced for the main arena to try and save Ash before it was too late.

Pikachu sighed. "Great…he's going to be insufferable now."

"Leo? I thought his name was King K," said a puzzled Rui.

"That's my stage name. My real name is Leo DeKappa! And I'm not really a Wartortle, but a Squirtle with fake ears, tail, fangs, and gold paint," Leo explained.

"Huh. I thought there was something funny about you…" Wes commented.

Pikachu rolled his eyes. "Great, expose all of our identities, why don't you?"

"Why not? We're all on the same side now. I see no reason not to spill the beans," Leo pointed out.

"I suppose…" Pikachu admitted reluctantly.

"Ah, so you aren't what you appear to be either?" Gonzap guessed.

Pikachu shook his head. "Nope. I'm a Pikachu named Pikachu Thunderblade, not a Plusle named Plus."

"Wait, your first name is Pikachu?" asked a confused Max.

"It's a family thing," Pikachu explained.

"And I suppose that you're a dwarf Arcanine in white fur dye, Night Slash?" Gonzap half-joked.

"No, I really am an Absol, but my name is Sasha," Sasha said.

"What about the kid? He have a fake species and name, too?" Wes asked.

"No, he really is a Larvitar named Tiny. Since he hatched while we were here, we saw no reason to give him a fake identity," Pikachu said. Tiny sucked his pacifier in agreement.

"But the silent act is a trick?" Rui guessed.

"No, that's real too. Tiny doesn't do well with others, do you Tiny?" Leo asked Tiny. Tiny stared blankly at him and did not respond. Leo sighed in disappointment.

"You seem oddly fixated on Tiny these days, Leo," Pikachu observed.

"I'm trying to bond with the little guy and help pull him out of his shell. I don't have any siblings, so I've always wanted to know what it's like to have a little brother," Leo said.

"Trust me, you have no idea how lucky you are to be an only child," Pikachu said. "I love my brother dearly, but…honestly, there are some days I think I would be better off if he had never been born. Not that that would free my life from hyperactive toddlers, given how many babies Ash keeps adopting…or how my mom's about to have another kid…"

"Ash? Who's that?" May asked.

"Ash is Gonzales's real name," Pikachu explained.

"Ohhhh," everyone who hadn't known who Ash really was said.

"Ash…yeah, that name suits him better than Gonzales," Wes commented. "I hope he's okay, and can hold out on us for a little longer." Had Tiny felt like speaking, he would have told them that Ash was most certainly _not_ okay and in dire jeopardy. But Tiny never spoke, and so he said nothing.

After what felt like far too much running for Leo's liking, they finally reached the arena. "Is everyone ready?" Max asked the group of fighters as they paused outside the entrance. "Ash will be inside, along with Ford and probably his entire security force."

"Bring 'em on!" Gonzap crowed. "We can take them!"

"If they're anything like the last bunch of goons, these guys shouldn't be a problem," Wes said confidently.

With a nod from Max, May kicked open the door and they all burst into the room…

And found themselves faced with approximately a hundred black-suited heavily muscled guards, all of whom were very surprised and none too pleased to see the heroes. "I might have spoken too soon," Wes reconsidered.

"Oh dear," said Rui.

"Not good…" murmured Sasha.

"Crap! That's a lotta mooks!" Gonzap said.

"There's too many of them…" Pikachu said anxiously.

"No problem, we'll just rely on…er…no, wait, yeah, we're probably screwed," Leo said, recalling how well conservation of ninjutsu had worked for them in the past. Tiny sucked his pacifier nervously.

"Wow," said a stunned Max. "There are a lot more guys here than I expected."

"You said Ford's entire remaining security force would be in here! Why are you surprised?!" May hissed.

"I didn't think that there'd be this many guys left," Max confessed.

Ford, standing in the beam of a spotlight jutting from the underside of a glowing machine at the top of the cage surrounding the stage, was as surprised as the rest of his men to see the heroes. "What the…what are you all doing here?! You four are supposed to be under lockdown, and Wes shouldn't be out of the infirmary!" the alarmed Blaziken cried. "And…Miss Maple?! You're _helping _them?!"

"You took away my father, Ford," May growled. "Did you really think I'd be working for you without an ulterior motive?"

Ford grunted. "Huh, good point. More the fool I for trusting you…and wait, isn't that your little brother? I thought he was supposed to still be in school!"

"I am," Max said. "I take online courses when I'm not busy plotting your downfall."

"Really? Wow, me too!" said an impressed Leo. "Do you play MMORPGs, too? There's a chance that we might have met each other previously in a chatroom or during a raid and just not realized it. That sort of thing's been happening a lot to me lately."

"Ah, I see how it is now…you only joined me to figure out how to defeat me…and when you somehow heard that I was going to make Gonzales disappear, you rounded up your motley crew and came down here to try and stop me!" Ford pieced together.

"Hey, who're you calling motley?!" Gonzap snarled.

"Yeah, we're not that variegated in color, are we?" Rui asked.

Everyone sweatdropped. "I think he meant motley as in composed of diverse and often incongruous elements, not color," Sasha said.

"Oh. My bad," Rui apologized.

"Ash! What've you done to him?!" Pikachu demanded, noticing Ash lying on the ground near Ford, another spotlight shining down on him. Tiny shuddered and hugged himself again, a strange sensation draining the warmth out of him as he felt Ash's energy being sucked from his body through their bond.

"Huh? Who's Ash? I don't know anyone by that name," said a confused Ford.

"He means Gonzales," Gonzap said. "Ash is his real name."

"Ohhh," Ford said, looking at Ash in a new light. "So his name is Ash? Huh…yeah, I can see that, I never thought he looked like a Gonzales anyway."

"_What did you do to him?!"_ Pikachu repeated angrily, sparks crackling off his body.

"Would you believe I haven't even touched him? Er, not in the last few minutes, anyway," Ford said. "The instant I turned my machine on he just passed out! Huh, I thought he had a higher tolerance than that. I'm kind of disappointed, too. I was hoping I could beat him up a bit and take out some of my frustration at losing so much money before I absorbed all his power, but I can't do that while he's unconscious. There's no fun in beating up a guy who's practically comatose already."

"Well, at least you have some standards," Rui commented.

"Most bad guys do," Leo said.

"While rather disappointing, Ash's unconsciousness is making it that much easier for me to steal his life force," Ford continued. "It's only a matter of minutes until I have all of it and he's turned into nothing more than another trophy for my collection…and once he's gone, you all are next, including the traitor!"

May smirked. "How could I be a traitor if I was never on your side to begin with?"

"Ooh, nice one," Leo complimented her.

"Yeah, too bad it's meaningless because you're about to get creamed," Ford said. "Get them!" The guards nodded and surged forward towards the heroes.

"This is gonna be tough," Wes commented as the security mons ran towards them. "We might be able to beat them, but it won't be easy, or fun."

"Then it's a good thing I thought ahead and called in reinforcements for just such an occasion," Max said. "They should be here right about…" Doors burst open all over the room and several familiar Pokemon charged into the arena, startling the guards. "Now."

"Wow, right on time," said an impressed May.

"That's awfully convenient," Rui commented.

Pikachu gasped. "I don't believe it…aren't those-"

"Hey, we know those guys!" Leo said.

"I didn't think I'd see any of them again so soon," Sasha commented. She was right to have believed so, because the newcomers to the scene were all the Pokemon that the Fighting Four had defeated previously in the tournament!

"Kekekeke! Your black-clothed corpses shall be fertile breeding ground for our spores!" Lepiota chittered.

"The fungus shall consume you all!" Morel roared, the rest of the Shroom Brothers hissing in agreement.

"I'm gonna slice and dice these punks!" AJ said, swiping his claws through the air.

"Our combined psychic might will crush these muscle-bound morons!" Presto the Kadabra boasted.

"And we fed Uri lots of coffee to get him up earlier than usual, so he wouldn't oversleep and miss out on the fighting," Houdini the Alakazam said.

"FightingfightingfightingfightingIlovefightinglet'sgobeatsomeoneupweeeeeeeeeeeeemyhead'sallspinnycansomebodyturnthelightsdownooohwhat'sthatthingoverthereit'sshinyandsoprettyprettyshinyprettyshinyCABBAGE!" Uri, hyped up on caffeine, babbled incoherently, eyes bulging wide as his body shook this way and that and foam dribbled from his mouth.

Presto sweatdropped. "Maybe we should lower the caffeine dosage next time…"

"Who wants to mess with the Craw-Daddy?!" Craw-Daddy roared, snapping his pincers in the air menacingly.

"Your feeble attacks will not even scratch our impenetrable armor!" Dondon the Bronzong boasted.

"So long as nobody knocks us into each other, that is," Dotaku reminded his brother.

"I will use your bones to furnish my children with weapons!" Mamawak the Marowak, leader of Dem Bones, promised as her Cubone offspring cheered and waved their bone weapons threateningly.

"The Pokerockers are in the house, and we're gonna bring the roof down!" Black Diamond Iwark bellowed, waving his drumstick.

"On you losers!" Heavy G clarified.

"Word!" said Heavy F.

"You cannot stop the rock!" Hombre said, brandishing his guitar.

"The power of music shall triumph over all!" J-Pop declared.

"You guys are recording all this, right? It'll be great footage for our next music video!" Mizu said to one of the roadies, who nodded and kept his camera trained on the band.

"You cannot drain Senor Gonzales's energy! We haven't finished our test of strength!" El Toro bellowed. "I refuse to let my rival be defeated in such a dishonorable manner!"

"You're rivals now?" Lobo Fuerte asked the Tauros.

"Si! We are if I say so!" El Toro said stubbornly.

"Ooh, I can just tell this is going to be a lot of fun…" Rosa purred. "So much tension in the air…a large-scale battle about to break out…it makes me feel…_aroused._"

Zoro smirked. "Very little does not, _mi senora de la Guerra._ I, too, am aroused, but in a different manner! My sense of justice bristles with rage at what Senor Ford is attempting to do! My blade cries out to draw his blood, and I do not intend to deny it its feast!"

The guards fidgeted and backed away a few steps, nervous at the cavalry's arrival. Ford swore angrily. "What the…what the Abyss are _you_ all doing here?!"

"Much like I did with Wes, I called up a number of the fighters from the tournament who hadn't left the city yet and told them what you were up to," Max said. "Quite a few of them have become rather impressed by the Fighting Four through their matches with them, and when they heard they were in trouble, they were eager to come and help out."

"But you called us first, right?" Wes asked.

"Yeah," Max said.

"Good," Wes said, his ego gratified by this.

"Wow," said an amazed Pikachu. "That's…that's incredible! I didn't know we'd made that big an impression on them."

"Heh, I guess it just goes to show you how strong the power of friendship is. After all, defeating someone in battle during a tournament often results in winning their friendship, even if they were complete jerks to you earlier!" Leo said.

"Er, actually…I kind of promised most of them that they could have a rematch with you guys if they helped us out now," Max admitted. The heroes sweatdropped.

"You could have asked us first," Sasha said.

"You would have said no," Max pointed out.

"With good reason…" Pikachu grumbled.

"I don't care how many friends you were able to call, I still have the advantage of numbers!" Ford growled. "Attack them!" he ordered his mons.

"Uh, but…aren't they kind of, er, stronger than us?" one of the smarter guards piped up. "I mean, they're all veteran fighters who've been in countless tournaments. We're just hired muscle."

"Yeah, and besides, outnumbering them doesn't mean anything. I've seen this in movies all the time…the heroes are surrounded by a huge army of bad guys, and it looks like they're doomed, but the heroes manage to persevere and triumph despite overwhelming odds. And the bad guys usually wind up dead," another guard pointed out.

"_Especially_ if they're hired muscle or just regular guards, like we are!" still another pointed out. Many other Pokemon (including Leo, who'd also seen all those movies, of course) started nodding and murmuring in agreement. "And I can't die, who's gonna support my wife and kids? My life insurance doesn't cover this sort of thing!"

"Mine either!"

"Or mine!"

Ford's eye twitched as the seeds of doubt and dissent started blooming in his army. "Oh for the love of…does it look like I care?! I'm the guy who's signing your paychecks, so you have to do what I say! Just hold them off for a little longer! Once I finish draining the Lucario, I'll be strong enough to wipe the floor with all of them singlehanded!"

"Is that true?" Sasha asked Max.

Max shook his head. "We should still be able to beat him even then. He will, however, be much more powerful and difficult to defeat if he absorbs that much energy. That's why we need to take him down now, while he's still draining Ash's strength."

"Then let's do this, for Ash!" Leo said. "So that we can brag to him later about how we were easily able to defeat a guy that knocked him out cold!"

Pikachu sweatdropped. "That's…an interesting reason to fight."

"But a good one," said Gonzap. "I'm all for it."

"Let's go save Ash and kick some tail doing it! Whoo!" Rui whooped.

Pikachu nodded. "Right…everyone! Let's fight, for Ash, and for everyone else who's fallen victim to this bastard!"

"Like our dad, King Sloth!" May joined in.

"And The Brock! Though he wasn't quite as awesome as King Sloth, I guess we should fight for him, too," said Leo.

"What about Andy?" asked Sasha.

"Nobody cares about Andy," Leo said.

"Who's Ash?" the newly arrived fighters asked.

Pikachu facepalmed. "The Lucario in the cage," Wes said. "It's his real name."

"Ohhhh," the fighters said.

And so the battle joined.

"Die! Die! Die!" Amanita shouted, spraying spores over a bunch of guards, who started screaming as mushrooms began popping out of their skin.

"You cannot escape the fungus!" Shiitake howled as he bounced up and down on the back of one guard, pinning him to the ground.

"It shall consume all!" Bolete said, bouncing on another guard.

"Rest in the sweet slumber of death…so that you do not feel the agony of our fungal brethren laying root in your corpses!" Lepiota said as he sprayed Sleep Power all over the place, putting about a half dozen guards to sleep.

"Even though fungus doesn't actually have roots, since they're not plants but eukaryotes and a kingdom all to themselves, and instead grow through much more complicated methods," Morel pointed out for educational purposes while he clung to another screaming guard's face and tried to gouge out his eyes.

"I'm gonna slice you goons to pieces!" AJ roared as he chased after some guards with Rollout, his body a spinning spiky ball of death.

"How are you going to slice us to pieces as a spiked ball? Wouldn't that technically be crushing and lacerating if you actually managed to roll into and over us, rather than outright slicing?" one guard pointed out.

"Are you really arguing semantics with a spinning spiky ball of death?!" one of his comrades asked incredulously.

"I trained to be a doctor back in college," the first explained. "So I know these things."

"If you were training to be a doctor, then what're you doing here?" another asked him.

"Do you know how hard it is to get into the medical profession? The Joy family has an almost exclusive monopoly on hospitals and Pokemon centers worldwide," the failed doctor lamented. "Which is how I wound up doing gigs like this instead."

"That's tough, man," another guard commiserated. "This also isn't my first choice of careers. I wanted to be a teacher."

"And I wanted to be a baker," another said wistfully.

"And I want to the guy who shuts up you whiners! Geez!" AJ snapped, uncurling from his roll. "For the love of Arceus, if you'd rather be all those things than security guards, then just quit and go back to school and try again or something!"

"You know, he has a point," the wannabe doctor said.

"Yeah, I think we will," the wannabe teacher said.

"Thanks AJ, for setting us straight!" the wannabe baker said.

They promptly left the battle. AJ sweatdropped. "That did not go anything like how I had planned it."

Uri Teleported randomly around the room, giggling and foaming and punching and kicking and biting any guard unfortunate enough to be nearby whenever he rematerialized. "WheeeeefightingfightingfightingfightingIlovefightingthisissomuchfunareyouhavingfuntoobecauseIamandIneverwantthistostopI'moverflowingwithenergyandcanbeeverywhereatonceatheywhat'sthatshinythingoverthereooohhhlotsofbrightlightswhy'stheroomgettingallspinnyIthinkI'mgonnabesick." Abruptly he threw up mid-Teleport, causing the vomit to Teleport too and splatter Pokemon all over the room. They did not enjoy it.

Presto sweatdropped. "Okay, I vote we never give him coffee ever again."

"Agreed. But in the meantime, it's my turn to serve! Try and catch this!" Houdini said, telekinetically hurling a giant ball made from the jumbled-together bodies of over a dozen groaning guards at Presto.

"Ha, child's play!" Presto said, Teleporting in front of the 'ball' and swinging his spoon at it. He didn't actually hit the crude sphere, but the wave of psychic force he generated knocked it back to Houdini, who Teleported in its path and knocked it back, causing Presto to return it, and so on and so forth, the two Psi Pokemon merrily bouncing the poor guards back and forth in an impromptu game of Psychic ping-pong.

"Who's in the mood for some lobster?!" Craw-Daddy growled as he barreled through the crowd of guards, smashing heads and rib cages with his mighty Crabhammers.

"I am!" one particularly stupid and hungry guard said, raising a hand. Craw-Daddy fired a Hyper Beam in his face. "Ow. That hurt," the guard said, passing out.

Craw-Daddy rolled his eyes. "Moron…okay, here's an easier question: who here wants to lose their heads?!" He raised his pincer and snapped it ominously. Quite a few guards screamed and ran away. Craw-Daddy slumped in disappointment. "Aww, I was hoping a _few_ would say yes…I never get to pull off a successful Guillotine these days!"

Dondon and Dotaku didn't even bother attacking anyone, they just floated there and laughed as the guards futilely assaulted them, only to break their fists and feet and horns and tails against their impenetrable shells. "Our bodies are unbreakable. You cannot harm skin as strong as ours," Dondon boasted.

"_Your_ bodies, on the other hand," Dotaku said, telekinetically raising the guards into the air. "Do not have the same advantage." He held them in place so that Dondon could ram into them with Gyro Ball, sending them flying all over the place.

"GIVE ME YOUR BONES!" Mamawak shouted ghoulishly. The guards she was threatening ran screaming. She scowled as they fled. "Why do they always do that? How am I ever going to outfit you kids with proper bone gear at this rate if nobody lets me take good bones when I see them?"

"What's wrong with the bones we already have?" one Cubone asked his mother.

"They're plastic, dear, they're not as good as the real things," Mamawak said, tapping her offspring's helmet with her club. "Oh, that bunch over there look like they have some strong thighs. I wonder if they'll let us borrow them…"

"Won't they be crippled for life if we take their thighs?" a Cubone asked.

Mamawak stared at her offspring blankly. "What's your point?"

The Pokerockers were rocking hard, though so far they had yet to actually bring the roof down, but not for lack of trying. Black Diamond Iwark generated quake after quake with the help of Heavy G and Heavy F to knock the guards off their feet. Hombre ran around whacking Pokemon on the head with his guitar. J-Pop was using blasts of Loudred-amplified Hyper Voice to deafen her opponents and stun them long enough for the roadies, whose eardrums had long since become inured to her singing, to beat the crap out of them. Mizu looked on from a safe distance while some of the tech guys filmed the whole thing. "This is gonna be great! The fans'll eat this up! Now we just need a good song to play this fight to when it's remixed as a music video…" the Marshtomp said.

"How about 'Blow me away?'" one of the cameramons suggested.

She scoffed. "Shut up and keep filming. You're paid to run the cameras, not make business decisions." The cameramon grunted in disappointment and kept filming. _Note to self, see if 'Blow me away' would work well for this fight scene,_ she thought to herself.

El Toro mooed loudly as he chased after a bunch of wailing guards. "Come back here and fight like Pokemon, you _cobardes!_"

"Why are you chasing us?" one of the guards yelled. "We're wearing black, not red!"

"That's a common misconception, Tauros are colorblind, it's not the red that angers them so much as the sudden motion of a matador's cape," another guard explained to him.

"How'd you know? Studying to be a doctor?" a different guard asked.

The knowledgeable guard shook his head. "No, I've been to Espania. I got to see some Taurosfighting, and the annual Running of the Tauros."

This turned out to be the wrong thing to say. "_Bastardo_!" El Toro roared furiously. "Do you have any idea how many of my kind are humiliated in twisted Espanish games like those?! My father lost his horns to a matador!" He surged forward with rage and slammed into the guards, sending them flying like bowling pins.

"I didn't even participate in any of that stuff! I just watched!" the guard who had bent to Espania cried as he tumbled through the air.

"And in doing so you supported the games, and put more money into the coffers of the evil Espanish overlords to fund their conquests and depravities! You are as bad as they!" El Toro replied.

"…That doesn't even make sense!" the guard protested.

"It does not need to! For I am EL TORO! I need no sense!" El Toro bellowed. "After all, I don't have color vision, but I seem to do pretty well without that, don't I? Well, except for that one time when I was defusing a bomb and had no idea which wire I was supposed to cut…boy, was that _vergonzoso!_"

Rosa was having the time of her life. "Hey, stop attacking me!" one guard yelled to another who had a dazed look in his eyes that was trying to punch him.

"Mistress Rosa commands it…Mistress Rosa's will must be done," the attacking guard droned. He wasn't the only one; quite a few guards seemed to have turned on their fellows after Rosa had blown a kiss at them.

Rosa cackled and cracked her vine whip, goading her new minions on. "Hohoho! This is almost as much fun as yesterday's fight…I have a small army of hunky brainwashed Pokemon utterly devoted to me thanks to the power of Attract beating up other Pokemon for my amusement and to 'protect' me. Hmm, there's only one thing that could make this even more enjoyable…all of you, take your shirts off, I want to see your chests!"

"Yes, Mistress Rosa," her love-slaves said, tearing their shirts off.

"Oooh," Rosa said, liking what she saw. "Very nice…I wonder if Zoro would let me keep a few of you? He gets so cute when he's jealous…"

"Get her!" a guard yelled, pointing at Sasha. "She may be tough and a little scary—I saw what she did to Lobo Fuerte—but we outnumber her and she's getting on in years, we should be able to take her!"

"Yeah!" some other guards agreed. They charged at Sasha.

Sasha rolled her eyes. "Hmmph." She charged up power to her head blade, and swung it at the guards, sending a gale storm of Razor Wind at them.

The guards stopped in place and tried to shield themselves from the wind blades, which buffeted them and drew a little blood but otherwise didn't damage them significantly. "Ha! Was that the best you had?" one guard scoffed after the wind died down. "We barely got a-" Abruptly, their clothes disintegrated. "Scratch…"

"Hey, do you have any idea how much these suits cost?! I'm going to have to take money from my pension to pay for a replacement!" an angry guard snapped.

"Why were you wearing clothes, anyway? It's not as if you needed them," Sasha asked.

"No, but it made us look intimidating and professional-like," a guard said.

"I never found you very intimidating," Sasha said.

"Well, at least we looked _cool_," one guard insisted.

"That's debatable. Besides, you won't be looking cool for much longer," Sasha said.

"What's that supposed to-" A Future Sight blast smashed into them from behind, sending them flying. "Waaaaaahhh!"

Sasha smirked. "Amateurs."

She noticed that Lobo Fuerte was standing nearby, staring at her. He had probably seen the whole thing. She glanced at him, causing him to nearly wet himself with fear and scream, "I HAVEN'T BEEN UP TO ANY OF MY OLD WOMONIZING HABITS OR SECRETLY LUSTING YOU FROM AFAR, I PROMISE! DON'T UNMON ME!"

She stared at him blankly. Terrified, Lobo yelped and ran away as fast as he could, tail between his legs. "…What a strange mon. I wonder if perhaps I was a little harsh on him in our battle…" she murmured. She glanced over her shoulder at the moaning guards she had just finished humiliating. "And on them." She shrugged. "Oh well, they probably had it coming anyway." She trotted off to find someone else to beat up.

For whatever reason, Ford had decided to employ a bunch of Farfetch'd in his security force, and Pikachu found himself surrounded by the birds, fending off blows from their leeks on all sides with his sword. He was having trouble concentrating enough to get rid of them all or unleash an Electric attack due to the fact that they were constantly attacking him, so he could do nothing but defend, defend, defend. He growled in frustration, annoyed that he was having so much trouble defeating a bunch of lame ducks. If he could just get a second to catch his breath…

He got more than that when a black-caped figure leaped down from above, snarling and hissing and spinning his claws and tail and sword in all directions, knocking the Farfetch'd away from Pikachu and breaking their weapons in the process. "Zoro!" Pikachu cried in surprise as the caped Meowth landed next to him.

Zoro grinned. "In the flesh, mi amigo! I'm surprised these waterfowl were giving you any problems, considering you were able to go toe to toe with me and live to tell the tale!"

Pikachu smirked. "How do you know I wasn't going easy on them so that _you_ could still have something left to fight?"

Zoro laughed. "Ah, Senor Plus, you are a true swordsmon. You certainly know how to tickle my fancy!"

"Thanks…and by the way, my real name is Pikachu. Pikachu Thunderblade," Pikachu said, deciding he might as well do away with his pseudonym. If Leo could trust Wes and the others, why couldn't he trust Zoro?

Zoro gave Pikachu a startled look. "Thunderblade?! As in the legendary family of Pikachu swordsmon who wield the sacred sword Thunder Fang?!"

"The very same," Pikachu said, pleased to hear that Zoro knew of his family.

Zoro stared at him in astonishment, then burst into laughter again. "Bwahahaha! We really are brothers in arms, aren't we? Both swordsmon of incredible skill, both heirs to a great and prestigious legacy, both wielding a blade of myth…"

"What, that thing?" Pikachu asked, looking at Zoro's sword skeptically.

Zoro nodded. "Si! It's been the weapon of Zoros for countless generations, going all the way back to the original masked gato!"

"What, is it made of meteor ore too?" Pikachu asked.

"No, the Espaniards just know how to make really good swords," Zoro said. "One of the few good things my people have learned from our oppressors. But of course, yours must be even better than mine…no wonder you didn't bring it to the tournament! It really wouldn't be fair to use it, now would it?"

"That, and it's kind of recognizable and draws too much attention. What with the blue glow and arcs of electricity crackling off of it," Pikachu said.

"Ah, that is true," Zoro admitted. "A shame you didn't bring it, still…I would have loved to face such a blade in battle!"

"You think you could win against it?" Pikachu asked him.

Zoro smirked. "Even if I did not, it would still be an honor to fight the wielder of Thunder Fang…it would be a battle spoken of for generations, the greatest warriors of two heroic bloodlines clashing in a test of skill unlike anything the world has ever seen!"

"That'd be nice," Pikachu agreed. He frowned, noticing the Farfetch'd were getting up…and reinforcements were on their way. "But we'll have to get out of this mess first."

"Ha! It should be no problem for two warriors of our caliber!" Zoro said, pressing his back against Pikachu's, sword drawn. "I must admit, though, when I told you I looked forward to fighting alongside you…I didn't think we'd be doing it so soon!"

"Neither did I," Pikachu admitted. "But things have a way of happening regardless of our own wishes. Arceus works in mysterious ways."

"Ha, so true," Zoro said with a chortle. "Hmm…it certainly looks as if there are a lot of them, though." He was right, in the time he and Pikachu had been talking the guards had had enough time to form back up and surround the duo.

"Think we can take them?" Pikachu asked.

"Well…it might be troublesome if one more showed up," Zoro admitted.

"Then that'll have to be the one I take care of," Pikachu said.

"What, you're fighting too?" Zoro joked.

The guards closed in on the two Pokemon. Neither swordsmon was concerned, since they knew that no matter what, the other one would always have their back.

Tiny waddled purposefully in the direction of the stage, ignoring the rest of the fighting all around him. He walked around struggling Pokemon, crawled under legs, and ducked under attacks, all without taking his eyes off the glowing cage. He could feel his caretaker in there, and he could also feel that time was running out. Tiny had already lost one parent, and he did not intend to lose a second one on his watch. An enormous foot stomped down right in front of him, blocking his path. Tiny looked up and stared into the face of a brutish Pinsir that was leering down at him. "Well, well," the Stag Beetle said. "What do we have here? A little baby who's wandered away from its mommy?"

"Hey, I think this kid belongs to the Fighting Four, doesn't it?" the Pinsir's friend, a Venomoth, said. "He's always hanging out with them."

"If it's theirs, then maybe we can use it as a hostage to force these guys to surrender," a Golem suggested. "I doubt they'll keep fighting if they think we'll hurt the kid!" Tiny rolled his eyes in annoyance. He really didn't have time for this sort of distraction.

"And the boss will give us a bonus for ending the fight!" the Venomoth said eagerly.

"Though how he can pay us still considering how most of his assets are currently in big trouble I'm not quite certain."

"Eh, he always finds a way to squeeze out a few Poke'," the Pinsir said. He bent over, reaching for Tiny. "Come here, my little cash Miltank…"

Tiny frowned. The Pinsir was invading his personal space. Tiny HATED other Pokemon with a passion, especially when they invaded his personal space. There was only one proper response for such an offense. He pulled out his pacifier and Screeched at the top of his lungs. The three grunts cried out and clutched their ears in pain. With their defenses down, Tiny glowed and summoned several small energy balls in rings around his form, which he flung at the guards using Hidden Power. The strength of the attack proved sufficient to knock them over and remove them from his path. Relieved that the distraction was over with, he started forward…

And frowned when he saw how far there was still left for him to go. And there were so many Pokemon in the way, all pressed tightly together as they struggled vigorously against each other. Tiny did not relish the thought of passing through that mass of writhing flesh. He might actually have to touch someone. The very thought of it disgusted him. There had to be a faster way.

And then he remembered the move he had seen that obnoxious gold turtle thing use in battle a few times, and what the purple cat/dog/fox thing had used repeatedly against his caretaker. Tiny saw no reason he couldn't use that move, too. He'd never tried it before, but he'd never tried Hidden Power until just a second ago, and he'd done fine with that, hadn't he? He doubted it could be that hard to do.

He squatted to the ground and pawed at the floor, trying to emulate what the turtle and cat/dog/fox thing had done. Something in his head, an instinct of some sort, snapped into place, and he started pawing harder. Then he broke through the surface. Then he started forming a tunnel. He slipped into it and began Digging beneath the floor with the sort of skill one would expect from a Pokemon who'd been burrowing for years, not a baby who was just a few days old and trying it for the first time. He tunneled towards the cage with single-minded focus, every fiber in his being telling him he was going in the right direction. His caretaker needed his help, and Tiny did not intend to let him down.

"Hello? Guys? Sasha? Pikachu? Tiny? Wes? Where are you?" Leo called as he wandered around. He sighed. "Great…typical, I get separated from the main group due to all the fighting. Any minute now I'm going to be ambushed and attacked by a group of larger and meaner Pokemon who outnumber me ten to one."

"Hey! That's one of the Fighting Four!" a guard said, spotting Leo.

"Get him!" another cried. Sure enough, a group of ten formed and they rushed for Leo.

The Squirtle sighed. "Can I call it or can I call it?" He used Dig to burrow underground just before the guards could reach him, quickly resurfacing behind them and spraying them with Water Gun, soaking them wet.

"Ack! What was that for?!" one of them cried.

"Watch it, you almost put out my tail flame!" a Charmeleon said anxiously.

"Oh, sorry," Leo said apologetically. "I hope this doesn't put it out either, then."

"You hope that what doesn't put out-" the Charmeleon was cut off when Leo fired an Ice Beam at the wet Pokemon, freezing them solid.

"Well, that wasn't so hard," Leo said, somewhat surprised. "I was sure I was gonna get hurt a little…then again, I guess I've gotten a lot stronger since coming here. Either that, or…" he gasped. "Of course! I just beat a group of ten Pokemon bigger and tougher than me all by my lonesome self! Conservation of ninjutsu kicked in at last! I knew it was only a matter of time! Yatta!"

Then one of the frozen Pokemon tipped over and fell on top of Leo, pinning him to the ground. "Ow. Right. I should really stop tempting fate like that," the Squirtle groaned.

Gonzap soared above the arena, seeking out weakened and injured Pokemon to take out like the steel vulture he was. None of Ford's mons were flyers, so he had the advantage in the skies, and was able to fire Air Cutters and Metal Sounds into the crowd below to his heart's content. Naturally, some of his victims tried shooting back, but he was skilled enough at dodging attacks from Pokemon trying to kill him by now to evade the blasts without breaking a sweat. His vantage point allowed him to see Wes on the ground below, surrounded by a bunch of goons. He glided over to watch, certain that Wes could probably handle things by himself, but wanting to be nearby just in case. It wasn't as if Wes hadn't taken out bigger groups by himself before.

Wes smirked casually at the guards. "Well, you certainly seem to have me at a disadvantage. Shouldn't you be attacking me by now?"

"Hey, shut up! You don't tell us what to do! We're gonna attack you when we feel like it!" a guard snapped.

"And then you're gonna get creamed! Wait'll the others hear we managed to take out the former champion!" another guard bragged.

"That's right, you'll certainly have something to boast about," Wes agreed. "So why haven't you attacked me already? You'll never become famous by hesitating and missing what could be your one and only chance at glory."

A guard laughed. "We're not stupid, we know that even in your current weakened condition from your fight with Gonzales, you can still probably take us out! We're just keeping you pinned down until more of our guys can come over to help us out!"

"Nice strategy," Wes commented. "Just one thing. You might want to look behind you."

The guards laughed. "Yeah, like we're gonna fall for that one!"

One of them hesitated. "Wait…Gonzales claimed he wouldn't, but then he got hit by a Future Sight. What if we're about to get attacked too?"

"But if we turn around, then he might escape," someone else pointed out.

"Then some of us turn while the rest keep our eyes on him," another guard suggested.

So that's what they did. Most of them watched Wes, while a couple glanced over their shoulders. There was nothing there. "Ha, so you were just bluffing!" a relieved guard said as he turned back to face Wes.

"No," Wes said as suddenly the ground collapsed beneath the guards' feet and they all fell into deep pits. "I was just trying to distract you long enough for my girlfriend to finish digging those holes. Nice work, Rui."

Rui's head popped out of the ground near Wes. "No problem! I'll do the same to anyone else who tries to hurt my boyfriend!" Wes smirked. Pleased to see they were getting on alright, Gonzap flew off to continue harassing the guards.

Max and May, much like Tiny, were making a Beedrillline for the cage. However, they couldn't dig, so they were going on foot, May defending Max by punching and kicking and incinerating anyone who got in their way. "Geez, how many more of these guys are there?!" May asked in exasperation.

"There can't be that many more left, judging by how well our side seems to be doing," Max observed.

"Not that many more still seems to be too many, if you ask me!" May said, sending another guard flying with a Sky Uppercut. "I'm not sure how much more of this I can-" She was cut off when she got blasted from the side by a Hydro Pump, knocking her to the ground. "Gah!"

"May!" Max gasped, rushing over to his sister…

Only to be cut off when Ford's utterly terrifying Feraligatr bodyguard jumped in front of him, cutting him off. "Hello, little morsel," the gator hissed, saliva dripping from his jaws. "Why don't you be a nice little mon and jump in my mouth? That'll make things so much easier for all of us." Trembling, Max took a few steps back.

"Max!" May struggled to get back to her feet, but the Feraligatr slammed an Aqua Tail into her back, pinning her to the ground and nearly knocking her out.

"You're next, traitor. I don't think I've had chicken in quite some time," the Feraligatr purred. "First I'd like to have a little appetizer. Since you're siblings, I wonder if you'll taste similar?" Max swallowed and glanced around, looking for a way out. Unlike his sister, he wasn't particularly good at fighting, having spent the last few years playing the puppet master in the shadows and being a voice with an Internet connection. As a result, there wasn't anything he could think of that might get him out of this mess…save for jamming the monster's jaws open with his laptop, but he'd rather die than do something like that, and not just because doing so would ruin his plans to defeat Ford. While Max was busy trying to figure a way to save himself, the Feraligatr decided not to waste anymore time and lunged forward, jaws spread wide to swallow the Treecko whole…

When he was tackled from the side by a big pink Pokemon, knocking him to the ground. "Go!" Nurse Joy called to a startled Max. "Get going, I've got this guy covered!"

Max nodded. "R-right! Thanks!" He ran past Joy and the Feraligatr, helped his sister up, and headed for the cage.

The Feraligatr stared at Joy in astonishment as he started getting up. "N-Nurse Joy? But…but that's impossible! I _killed_ you!"

Nurse Joy's stubby limbs shot out, rapidly striking a series of pressure points on the Big Jaw Pokemon's body. The Feraligatr cursed as he fell back to the ground, his muscles seizing up from Nurse Joy's precisely pinpointed nerve blows. "You must not have killed me as thoroughly as you thought. I got better."

"But-but that's impossible! I caved your skull in, and ate a sizeable portion of your body! There were blood and organs everywhere!" the Feraligatr protested as Joy flipped him onto his back and sat on his chest.

Joy smiled, grabbed the Feraligatr's jaws, and began pulling them apart with a startling amount of strength, causing the reptile to cry out in agony. If his body had been working, he would have thrown her off, but thanks to her previous attack he was paralyzed and helpless to defend himself, much like Max and many of his previous meals had been unable to protect themselves from his carnivorous and cannibalistic tendencies. "Well, the thing is…" She yanked on the jaws until they snapped, killing the monstrous gator. "Paul Yami isn't the only one with regenerative abilities."

The battle was going very badly for Ford's Pokemon. Inevitably, the time came when they couldn't take anymore. "We can't take anymore!" one screamed.

"We give up!" another said.

"We're out of here!" still another said, fleeing the room. This refrain was taken up by nearly all the guards still on their feet, and they quickly rushed out of the arena. Those who chose to stay soon wished they hadn't.

"No! No! Get back here, you cowards!" Ford shouted furiously. None of them obeyed. "Gah! Of all the…lousy stinking no-good pieces of…"

"It's over, Ford," May said, she and Max having reached the exterior of the cage.

The Treecko had his laptop open and was typing in a complicated sequence. "I've already hacked into your computer network and gained access to your machine's controls. All I need to do is push a button and I can reverse the energy flow and take back all the power you've stolen over the years!"

"What?! How'd you possibly figure out how to do all that?!" Ford demanded.

"With the machine plans I found in the old office hidden in the locker room and the access codes you had in your office PC," May said.

Ford facepalmed. "I knew I shouldn't have built that secret room…"

"What was it even for, anyway?" Leo asked, having gathered around the cage with the rest of the fighters now that all of Ford's guards had been taken care of.

"Was it to spy on us while we were getting ready for matches?" Craw-daddy asked.

J-Pop gasped. "Were you peeping on us changing or going to the bathroom?!"

"No, no! It's…er…I built that room as a place to hide sensitive material. Like those machine plans," Ford admitted.

"Why was it in a locker room, then?" AJ asked.

Ford shrugged. "Seemed like a good idea at the time." They sweatdropped.

"He eventually realized it was a stupid idea, so he cleared everything out of there and sealed it up," May said. "But he missed one copy of the blueprints for the power-draining machine, which Max used to develop a program to take control of it and get back the energy Ford has stolen over the years."

"That'll save Ash, but what about the other missing fighters?" Wes asked.

"Hey yeah, what about them?" Pikachu asked.

"Already got that covered," Max said said.

Abruptly, The Brock's siblings entered the room, stepping over the bodies of defeated guards as they rushed over to the cage, carrying bags filled with figurines. "We got all of them, Miss Maple," Forrest reported as he and his brothers and sisters reached the others. "Every last one of the fighters Ford had locked up in that secret trophy room!"

"Including our big brother, and your father!" said Yolanda.

"Excellent work," May said with a nod.

"We recruited them to help us after Ford took The Brock," Max explained to the others. "We understand what they're going through, losing a father figure. Well, brother figure, but you know what I mean. Plus, we figured they could come in handy."

"You guys got _all_ the figurines?" Leo said, impressed. "Nice!"

"Wow, there sure are a lot of them," said an impressed Mamawak.

"You've been abducting and draining this many people for at least a decade?!" asked an incredulous Zoro. "_Bastardo_!"

"Lots of people are afraid of getting old!" Ford said, trying to justify his actions. "We all have different ways of dealing with it. Mine just happened to involve kidnapping people and draining their life energy."

"You should have picked a way that didn't involve becoming some sort of vampire and victimizing other Pokemon," Wes said. "Because now we're going to return the favor and take everything you've got!"

"One problem: your silly plan won't work!" Ford sneered. "I used up the life energy from those losers ages ago. Even if you sucked me dry, there wouldn't be nearly enough power to re-energize everyone in my collection!"

Max smirked. "You didn't think I'd figure out a solution to that, either?" He turned to Pikachu. "Pikachu, I'm going to need your help for this. I need you to climb up to the machine up there and plug yourself into it to supercharge it. Thanks to a booster program I just installed, your bioelectrical charge should amplify its energy output and make Ford's life energy strong enough to restore all his trophies back to normal. There probably won't be enough left over to keep Ford himself from turning into a trophy, however, but I don't really see a downside to that."

"I do!" Ford said.

"We don't really care," May said.

"Wait, you're going to turn _him_ into a trophy, too?" Pikachu asked.

"Yeah," said Max. "Why?"

"Just wondering," Pikachu said. "I feel like I should be objecting, but I can't really think of any good reasons to. He kind of deserves it."

"We could also kill him," Sasha suggested.

"Yeah, but turning him into a figurine would be more fitting, since he's done it to so many other Pokemon," Wes pointed out.

Gonzap nodded in agreement. "Yeah, that's irony. Or poetic justice. I can never remember which is which." A number of other Pokemon nodded in agreement. The two were rather similar.

"So long as he's not still conscious and fully aware while trapped in trophy form and unable to do anything but stand in immobile silence for all of eternity until he goes insane," Leo said. "Because that's not really a nice thing to do to people. Even bad guys."

"Why do you think I suggested we kill him?" Sasha asked.

"While he deserves it, if we killed him we wouldn't be able to extract his life energy," Max said. "So spending eternity as a trophy will have to suffice for our revenge."

"Uh, don't I get a say in this?" Ford asked.

"Did you give any of the Pokemon you've drained a say in things?" May asked.

Ford hesitated. "Well…"

"Then you're in no position to talk," May said.

"Maybe not, but I _am _in position to do this!" Ford said, grabbing Ash's prone body and pressing it to his chest, bracing his arms across the Lucario's throat. "Try to turn the tables on me, and I'll break his neck! You may be able to save the others, but this one will be lost to you forever!"

The fighters gasped. "Wait, is that a bad thing?" Craw-daddy asked. Everyone glared at him. "What?"

"If he dies, can I have his bones?" Mamawak asked. "The metal in them will make them good armaments for my children."

"No, you _cannot_ have Ash's bones, because we're going to save him," Pikachu said.

"RightI'lljusteleportinthereandsavehimlicketysplit," Uri said, Teleporting into the cage. With uncanny senses and reflexes, Ford lashed out with one foot, catching the Abra in the stomach just as he rematerialized and flinging him into a wall. "Owthatwasn'tsupposedtohappennofairnofair."

"Anyone try something like that again and the Lucario dies for sure!" Ford warned them.

"You don't exactly have a lot of room to bargain with," Wes pointed out. "If you kill Ash, then we'll drain you dry anyway."

"Ah, but you sentimental idiots want him alive, don't you? That's why you're all here, isn't it? To rescue him?" Ford sneered.

"Actually, I just wanted a rematch against King K," said AJ. "I don't really care much about the Lucario."

"I care," said El Toro. "But mainly so I can get a rematch with Ash, since we never finished our battle."

"So did I, to be honest," Wes confessed. "I mean, I like him and all, but I also want to fight him again."

"Us too," said Houdini.

"I want his bones," Mamawak repeated.

"We wanted to kill and/or infest something," said Borel. The other Shroom Brothers nodded in agreement.

"We just came because we thought the fight would make for great music video footage," J-Pop confessed.

"I just wanted a good brawl!" said Craw-daddy. "And I got one, so I'm pretty happy and don't care much about whatever happens next."

"We only want to save our Big Brother," said Forrest. "And to be perfectly honest, we kind of blame Gonzales or Ash or whoever for what happened to him, since if The Brock hadn't lost, he might not be in this mess to begin with."

Pikachu facepalmed. "Did _anyone_ come here to help us without some ulterior motive?!" Zoro, Rui, Nurse Joy, the Bronzong Brothers, and a very few others raised their hands. The majority of the others didn't. "For the love of…I hate this town and everyone in it."

"Most of us aren't from around here, actually-" Presto started.

"I don't give a damn," Pikachu said coldly.

Ford sweatdropped. "Well, I wasn't expecting this…so, on to plan B. Hyah!" He thrust one hand into the air and launched a fireball at the machine above him, intending to destroy it so that nobody could use it against him. And then all the Psychics in the room grabbed the fireball with Confusion and Psychic and flung it out of the way. Ford paused. "Ah. Well…oh, screw it, I'm just gonna kill him, then." He tightened his grip on Ash's throat before anyone could stop him…

And then Tiny burst out of the ground beside him and closed his jaws around Ford's ankle with Bite, digging his fangs into the Blaziken's leg with astonishing jaw strength built up from all the sucking he'd been doing on his pacifier. Ford howled in pain, loosening his grip on Ash in the process. Houdini quickly Teleported into the cage, grabbed Ash, and Teleported back out before Ford could stop him. Then he Teleported back in to grab Uri, having forgotten about the Abra. "He's clear!" the Alakazam said.

Flames erupting around his body, the enraged Ford ripped Tiny off his ankle—causing blood to spew from the bite wound in the process. "You little-" Wes, Houdini, Presto, and the Bronzong Brothers quickly focused their Psychic powers on Ford, freezing him in place. The Blaziken's body trembled and flamed as he fought against the blue energy paralyzing his form. Tiny wriggled free from Ford's grip, dropped to the ground, and quickly Dug his way out of the cage. "Gah…you…you can't hold me like this forever!"

"He's right," Wes said, gritting his teeth as sweat ran down his forehead.

"He's _very_ powerful…more so than we anticipated," Dondon said, his body vibrating.

"We can't hold him for much longer…quickly, start the machine before he breaks free!" Presto warned them.

Max nodded. "Right! Pikachu, get up there!"

"I'll help, too," Zoro informed Pikachu. "With both our electric powers combined, we should be able to pull this off."

"Then since we're low on time, I'll give you both a lift," May said, grabbing cat and mouse and throwing them bodily at the top of the cage. They wailed as they flew through the air and crashed into the side of the machine.

"You could've given them some warning first," Sasha pointed out.

"Yeah, but where's the fun in that?" May asked.

Tiny popped out of the ground nearby. "Hey, Tiny, good going, mon! That was some awesome biting you did back there! Gimme a high one!" Leo raised his arm expectantly. Tiny stared at him blankly, and then waddled past the Squirtle to the prone form of Ash lying on the ground. Leo sighed. "Yeah, that's what I thought you'd do…"

"Why is he still unconscious? Ford didn't drain that much from him, did he?" Rui asked anxiously, gathered around Ash with some of the other fighters.

"Oh, he's probably just having another one of his flashbacks," Leo said dismissively.

"His what?" asked a confused Wes.

"Ash is amnesiac and tends to pass out and have flashbacks about his past whenever he gets around shiny star-shaped magical gemstones," Leo explained. "He'll wake up when he's ready, and not a minute before, which is kind of annoying because we might need him in the interim."

"Ah," said Wes, not understanding in the slightest.

"How inconvenient," Sasha said.

"Are you guys all right?" Max called up to Ash and Zoro.

"Are you hurt at all?" Rosa asked anxiously, though her concern was more for Zoro than the _raton._

"Just a little scratched up, nothing to worry about," Zoro said. "And Senor Pikachu is holding a map up to this star thing for some reason."

"This star is one of several, and this map has the power to reveal where others are," Pikachu explained, lowering the map and taking a look at it. Much to his delight, a new location had been marked on it. "It's the real deal, all right…" He stowed the map away. "So, what do we need to do up here?"

"There should be a couple of large generator nodes attached to the star's housing. They'll look sort of like turbines," Max shouted. "Grab hold of them and direct as much electricity as you can into them. But not too much, mind you, or else it could overload and blow the whole thing up."

"I guess that means we shouldn't compete to see which of us can generate the most power," Pikachu said to Zoro.

Zoro nodded. "We can do that some other time." The Meowth and Pikachu squeezed past and climbed over consoles and computer banks until they reached the generators. Each Pokemon taking a different machine, they grabbed onto the devices, closed their eyes, and simultaneously sent hundreds of gigawatts of electricity pouring into the power-draining machine. The various lights on the machine's hull started glowing brighter, and the star began spinning faster as waves of energy cascaded off of it.

"Excellent. Now…Forrest, have you and the others put everything in postion?" Max asked Brock's younger brother.

The Snorlax nodded, indicating the trophies he and his siblings had collected, which were now arranged in a ring around the outside of the cage. Ash's body had been placed in the ring as well. "Everything's ready!"

"Then it's time to bring them all back…" May said, glancing at her brother.

He nodded. "Dad…it's time to come home." The Treecko pressed a key on his computer.

The spinning Star Badge paused in mid-twirl, then abruptly began spinning in reverse. The various spotlights attached to the machine swiveled up and pointed outward, beams of energy shooting out from their lenses to bathe the trophies outside the cage. The spotlight focused on Ford switched off and another turned on, beginning to drain his energy instead of feeding power into him. His eyes widened in horror as he felt his strength flee him, and the trophies (and Ash) outside began to glow. "No…NO! You can't do this to me! You can't! I won't let you!" He began struggling harder than ever against his telekinetic bonds.

"Ugh…he's still too strong!" Dotaku grunted.

"Just a little longer," Presto said, his eyes glowing. "And then he won't be causing anyone anymore problems ever again!"

Ford's body began to glow. "No! No! NO! What did I do to deserve this?!" Everyone glared at him. He sweatdropped. "Oh, right. That. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!" There was a flash of light, and suddenly in place of the corrupt Blaziken stood a 1/1000th scale figurine standing on a small circular base. Where the base had come from, nobody knew.

Ash and the figures outside the cage started glowing brilliantly as well…and with a sudden flash of light, the trophies shattered and ballooned upward, transforming back into living, breathing Pokemon who blinked rapidly and looked around in confusion, wondering what the heck had just happened.

"Yatta! We did it!" Leo cried ecstatically.

"Huh? What the heck just happened?" asked Bandy Andy. "I have the strangest feeling I was a cheap collectible until a second ago."

"I'm not sure," said a puzzled The Brock. Then he noticed Rosa and his eyes turned into hearts. "Wow, what a babe!"

Thankfully, before he could run over and humiliate himself, he was completely enveloped and buried beneath the hugs of his younger siblings. "BIG BROTHER!" they all yelled happily.

"Ack! Let me go! Can't…breathe! You're embarrassing me in front of the hot girl!" The Brock gasped.

Rosa sweatdropped. "Please, I have higher standards than that."

"You have standards?" Lobo asked skeptically.

"Yes, and they don't include guys like him," Rosa said. The Brock groaned, shot down yet again.

"DAD!" Max and May shouted, tackling a very large and muscular Slakoth.

"Huh? Max and May? How did you get here?" asked the confused King Sloth (also known as Norman). "And…why do you look so different? When did May evolve?"

"It's a long story," May said, crying with joy as she hugged her father.

"And we'll tell it to you later," Max said. "All that matters is that you're back!"

"I didn't know I'd been away," King Sloth said, still confused.

Leo was geeking out. "Dude! It's King Sloth! And over there is the Mareepinator! And Clifford the big red Arcanine! And Tentacula! And Destructestro! And Mr. and Mrs. Excellent! This is so awesome! I never thought I'd get to meet all these legendary—and vanished—fighters at once, let alone at all!"

"They're not as legendary as Wes," Rui said loyally. "He can take them all on!"

"Yes, of course I could…just not right now," Wes said.

"Ash is waking up," Sasha announced, drawing the attention of those who cared.

"Darn, that means I can't get his bones, can I?" Mamawak said in disappointment.

"Uh…my head…what happened?" Ash groaned as he sat up, only to notice there was a rather large weight holding him down. He blinked and looked down to see Tiny, who was hugging his side. "Tiny?" The Larvitar rubbed his head against Ash's chest and said nothing. Not that he ever did. "What's going on?"

"How are you feeling? Got all your energy back?" Wes asked him.

"Wes? Uh, yeah, I think so…" He blinked in confusion and looked at all the myriad Pokemon filling the room. "Wow. What are you all doing here?"

"Saving you, of course," Gonzap snorted. "We barely got here in time before Ford could turn you into another trophy!"

Ash gasped, his memory of the last hour or so coming back to him. "That's right, he kidnapped me and was going to…" He paused, noticing Joy was among his well-wishers. "Nurse Joy? I thought you were dead!"

"I got better," she explained.

"…Oh," Ash said, not getting it. "What happened to Ford?"

"He got a bad case of karmic retribution," Leo said. "Now he's just another dinky little statuette, like what he was going to turn you into, and what he did to The Brock and all those other guys! At least, what they were until we restored them, that is."

Ash blinked. "Restored…oh! You mean…"

"All of Ford's victims have been changed back to normal, and Ford himself has been transfigured in their place," Sasha explained.

"And you might have shared the same fate—or died—if the little guy here hadn't saved you," Rui said, referring to Tiny.

"Is that true, Tiny?" Ash asked the Larvitar. Tiny stared at him blankly. "I'll take that as a yes. Thank you, Tiny." Tiny sucked on his pacifier and kept hugging Ash. "And thank you, all of you, for coming to help save me."

"Actually, most of us only saved you because we want a rematch," said Houdini. Most of the Pokemon nodded in agreement.

"And I wanted your metal-infused bones…" Mamawak complained. "I'm never going to get them now…unless you feel like donating a limb or a rib or two, that is."

"Uh, no thanks," Ash said quickly. "Well, um, I'm still grateful you guys saved me, even if it was for less than wholesome reasons."

"Good," AJ said.

"So, which of us will you fight first once you recover?" El Toro asked.

Ash sweatdropped. "Uh…"

Pikachu and Zoro watched from the top of the cage as several of the fighters started arguing about who would get to fight Ash first, while the others explained to the newly released Pokemon in Ford's collection what had happened to them. "Well, I would say that we have done a good deed this night, have we not, _mi amigo?"_ Zoro asked Pikachu.

Pikachu nodded. "Yeah. I'd say we were cutting it a little close there, but to be honest it often comes pretty close to the wire whenever we're in a tough spot."

"But in the end, justice still prevailed," Zoro pointed out. "So it's all's well that ends well, yes?"

"I suppose so," Pikachu agreed. "I was very happy to fight by your side, Zoro. I hope we can do it again soon."

"As would I," Zoro said.

"Actually," Pikachu said, getting an idea. "If you aren't in too much of a hurry to get back to your country, I may have a bit of a proposition for you and some of the other fighters. Let me just get the Star Badge and we can discuss-" He turned around and gasped. "The Star Badge! It's gone!"

Everyone looked up at Pikachu's startled cry and saw that, indeed, the Badge was missing from its place atop the machine. "What the…where'd it go?!" Leo cried.

"It was there just a minute ago," said the confused Wes.

"But how could someone have taken it right from our midst without anyone noticing?" said an alarmed Sasha.

Ash narrowed his eyes and got to his feet, brushing Tiny off. "I think I know _one_ Pokemon who could have done it…Nurse Joy, after you got better from…apparently not being dead despite that Feraligatr maiming you and eating a sizeable part of your body, did you happen to notice if Paul Yami was still in the Pokemon Center?"

Nurse Joy's eyes widened in horror as she realized that she had never thought to check on her way out of the Center to join the battle. She was about to say as much, when suddenly the entire building started shaking ominously. "Oh no!" Leo groaned. "Don't tell me Ford rigged the building to self-destruct if he were ever defeated!"

"What? No, don't be ridiculous," May said. "What idiot would do something like that?"

"You'd be surprised," Leo said.

Max checked his computer. "The containment fields are all still intact and geothermal/seismic energy readings are all stable, so it's not the volcano erupting…what could be causing this?"

"Whatever it is, we should probably get out of here before the whole place comes down on top of us!" Pikachu said as he and Zoro climbed down from the cage.

"But what about Paul? And the Star Badge?" Ash asked.

The shaking began to grow worse. "We can look for those later, right now we need to get out of here!" Sasha said. Ash bit his lip and nodded reluctantly.

"Everyone on your feet, we're getting out of here!" J-Pop shouted into her microphone so everyone in the room could hear her.

"Let's go, go, go!" Wes yelled.

"Every mon for himself!" Craw-daddy bellowed, knocking everyone in his path over as he raced for the exit.

King Sloth sweatdropped and scratched the back of his head. "I can see the quality of most professional fighters has gone downhill in the years I've been gone…"

"We can fix that later, right now we need to GO!" May yelled, she and Max rushing her father out of the room.

Within minutes, everyone had left the arena. Well, everyone except for Leo, who doubled back to grab the Ford figurine, which was still sitting in the middle of the cage. "I can't possibly leave something like this behind," he justified to himself as he put the trophy in his shell. "It's a one-of-a-kind collector's item!" Then one of the spotlights, dislodged by all the shaking, fell from the ceiling and nearly crushed him. "Yikes! That's my cue to go!" He ran from the room just as the scaffolding in the highest reaches of the chamber started collapsing, crushing the stands and the cage in the center of the room, forever destroying Ford's power-draining machine in the process.

…

Once outside, the cause of the tremors became clear. Everyone stared up into the sky incredulously, jaws gaping. Quite a few Pokemon cursed, even ones not prone to it. "Madre de dios…" Zoro whispered.

"It's…them…" Pikachu hissed.

"No…" Ash gasped. Tiny sucked his pacifier and clutched his parental figure's leg.

"How can something so large stay in the air?" Sasha marveled.

"Whoa," Wes said. Pretty much everyone else had something to say too, but it was generally the same thing or repeating the obvious, so I won't bother putting it down.

Leo ran out of the building to join his friends. "Hey guys, sorry I'm late, I had to grab something back there and HOLY CRAP WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!"

Hovering above the town of Battlus was a ship. And not your run-of-the-mill airship either, but a MASSIVE ship, the kind you saw aliens using in movies when they started invading and blowing up cities. It was so enormous that it blotted out the night sky as it floated above the volcano's crater, casting the town in shadow. It was shaped somewhat like a giant spider, with an immense spherical black core nodule bristling with weapons and antenna and a very large red light on its underside almost like a giant eye. Six gigantic multi-hinged legs extended from the sides of the central sphere, the limbs terminating in ridiculously oversized barbs with glowing antigravity engine nacelles strapped to the ends. It was the repulsion fields from these engines which was causing all the shaking, the energy they were generating to keep the ship in the air drumming strongly against the structures in Battlus, causing the buildings to quake and everyone's bones to vibrate painfully. Leo took out his camera and snapped a photo of it, because, while it looked incredibly dangerous, it was also pretty cool.

A very familiar symbol was emblazoned between two of the ship's legs, a giant circular N wrapped around and crossing out the Earth. "The Nihilators…" Ash growled.

"The who?" Rui asked.

"An evil organization that's trying to take over the world through the use of Shadow Pokemon—Pokemon whose hearts have been closed off by darkness—and the seven Star Badges, jewels with which they hope to open a forbidden door that will destroy everything," Pikachu summed up quickly.

"But what are they doing _here?!" _Gonzap squawked.

"A better question might be what is _he_ doing with them," Sasha said, referring to the all-too familiar figure of Paul Yami, whom was being lifted up into the belly of the ship by a pillar of light. He was clutching the Star Badge in one of his claws, and waved dismissively down to them with the other as he noticed the large group of Pokemon gathered below him.

"What's he doing with the Nihilators?!" Pikachu asked.

"Isn't it obvious? He must be one of them!" Leo cried.

Ash blinked. "That…explains a lot, actually."

"So not only is he a cheater and an ex-immortal, he's also a member of an evil criminal organization bent on world domination?!" Rui demanded. "The nerve of that guy!"

"Gonzap and I used to be members of an evil criminal organization bent on world domination too," Wes pointed out.

"Yes dear, but you both quit, so I don't hold it against you," Rui said.

"How did you not know he was a Shadow Pokemon?! You're supposed to be able to see their Auras!" Pikachu pointed out.

"Normally, I would be, but Ford's stupid dampening field must have covered it up," Ash said angrily. "If I had known what he was sooner…"

"We can't let him get away! Everybody, attack Paul! He can't dodge us while he's in that tractor beam, and since he's no longer got super-regenerative powers, our combined attacks should be able to take him down!" Leo shouted.

Most of the Pokemon hadn't heard the explanation as to who and what Paul really was, so didn't really understand the reason as to why they should attack him, but most of them hated the guy anyway so didn't mind very much. They fired all their long-range beams and projectiles and bolts and bursts and spheres and every other attack in their arsenal at the ascending Weavile, hoping to knock him out before he was drawn inside the giant ship. Unfortunately, the flying vessel was not defenseless, and dozens of cannons and missile launchers came to life on the ship's underside and fired at the incoming attacks, the energy beams and rockets colliding with the volley from the ground and blowing them up in midair, creating a big smoke cloud that blocked everyone's view of Paul and made it difficult to attempt a second shot, not that that one would be anymore effective than the first. Paul smiled very slightly, confident he was leaving his foes in the dust…

And then he noticed the ninja Buneary standing on the very top of the Mt. Battle facility, eyes locked on him. His eyes widened in surprise. The ninja crouched down and Bounced upwards with all the strength in her legs, sending her shooting through the air towards Paul. The ship's defenses sensed her approach, locked on to her heat signature, and fired.

The ninja narrowed her eyes and countered first by using her ice powers to lower her body temperature and that of the air around her, confusing the sensors on the heat-seeking missiles and causing them to lock onto the next warmest targets, each other. They crashed into each other and exploded all around her as she kept rising through the air. The energy cannons were less easily fooled, however, and kept shooting at her. Her form blurred, and suddenly there were over a dozen Bunearies flying through the air. The shots from the cannons wound up striking and destroying the doubles, missing the true ninja until it was too late and she was already out of their range and in their blind spot, the arc of her Bounce taking her closer and closer to Paul.

Seeing that she was only meters away, and he was still several feet away from the open hatch to safety, Paul gathered his power and fired a Dark Pulse, trying to repel his nemesis. Unfortunately for the Weavile, this attack was to no avail as well, as the ninja artfully air-dodged the Pulse, twirling gracefully as she sailed up the length of the blast towards Paul. Knowing there was no way to stop her now, Paul braced himself as the ninja made it inside the tractor beam and starting stabbing violently at him with her claws and ice blades, forcing him to defend himself without dropping the Star Badge, no easy feat that. The smoke cloud cleared just in time for everyone to see Paul and the Buneary fighting until they were both drawn into a portal on the bottom of the ship, vanishing as it closed behind them. With its cargo secured, the vessel's engines started glowing brighter and began to propel the craft up and away from the volcano.

"Well, there goes the Star Badge," Sasha said resignedly.

"It's a good thing I thought ahead and exposed the map to it before Paul could take it, then, wasn't it?" Pikachu said, looking somewhat relieved. "We may have lost this Badge, but now we know where the next one is."

"Nice thinking!" Leo said in approval.

"Aren't you guys giving up too easily? Why don't we try to get onto that thing before it gets away? Or wait for the ninja to maybe escape and bring back the Star Badge, like she did for us back at the Tree of Beginning?" Ash asked.

"Well, for one thing, that thing outguns us," Wes said. "For another, I don't think there's any way we can get up there, since any flyer would be blasted out of the sky in seconds."

"And Teleporting's out because we can only Teleport to somewhere we can see or have been before, otherwise there's a risk of us materializing inside a solid object and dying horribly," Presto said.

"And then there's the fact that it's doing…that. I don't know what it is, but I don't like the look of it," The Brock said anxiously.

"I concur with that assessment," Max agreed.

They glanced up and saw that the ship's mechanical legs had repositioned themselves so that their points were all facing inward and downward, the engine nacelles swiveling to continue thrusting energy in the right directions. The big glowing 'eye' on the bottom of the ship began to glow ominously, and bolts of red lightning crackled from the tips of the legs and converged in the space between them, coalescing into a mass of energy that very quickly grew to immense proportions.

"I get the feeling we should get away from this area. Far, far away. As fast as we possibly can," Leo said anxiously.

"That would probably be a very good idea," Pikachu agreed.

"Presto, Uri, Dondon, Dotaku, Wes, and all you other Psychics here, lend me your minds," Houdini said. "By combining our powers we should be able to Teleport everyone away from here before that thing fires."

"Not to complain, but you don't think you could use your powers to…I dunno, hold that thing back?" Andy asked.

"No," said Dotaku.

"Oh. Okay," Andy said.

"If you're going to do something, then do it soon, I don't think we have much longer!" Lobo said anxiously.

The Psychics closed their eyes and joined their minds, bodies glowing as they focused their power. "Wait!" Ash cried, suddenly realizing something. "We can't go just yet-"

There was a flash of light and they disappeared, rematerializing seconds later on the crater rim. The Teleport hadn't been a moment too soon, as the ball of scarlet death reached critical mass, emitted a wave of pulsating energy which rippled across the volcano and made everyone's fur stand on end, and fired a TREMENDOUS crimson laser down at Battlus. The energy beam smashed down onto Mt. Battle and the platform it was seated on, vaporizing it instantly as it continued deeper into the crater, piercing the pool of molten rock beneath the town and sending up gouts of flame and superheated gas and steam. The ship steadily fired the laser into the volcano for several seconds before finally cutting the energy flow and extending its legs to the sides again. The engines flared and the vessel rose into the sky, its dark form shimmering and abruptly vanishing as a cloaking device activated and concealed it from view to cover its escape.

They stared in disbelief at the smoldering bridges and gaping void in Battlus's network of platforms and walkways that had once been Mt. Battle. "…Dude," said Heavy G.

"Word," Heavy F concurred.

"…There's still people in there," Ash finished tearfully, far, far too late.

"No…" Pikachu whispered.

"How…how could they…" May stammered.

"That was…" The Brock said.

"And I always thought Ford was the ultimate evil…" Max said quietly.

Leo snorted derisively, a bitter look on his face. "Him? The ultimate evil? Please…he's nothing compared to the Nihilators. And this? You haven't seen the worst that they can do. The worst _any_ Pokemon can do. I pray you never do."

"Such power and cruelty…what sort of villains _are_ these Nihilators?" Zoro wondered.

"Not even the Espaniards use such weaponry," Rosa agreed.

"Well, at least _we're_ all okay," Andy said, trying to look on the bright side.

Naturally, that was when things got worse. The ground began to shake and the surface of the lava started roiling furiously. "Oh, what _now?_" asked the exasperated AJ.

Sasha gasped, her fur stiffening. "No! My disaster sense…it's telling me that the volcano is about to erupt!"

"Gee, you think?" Mamawak asked sarcastically.

"We need to get out of here at once," Houdini said. "We'll need to Teleport a bit further than last time to get out of range, but if we all concentrate we should be able to-"

"Wait!" Ash cried, getting back to his feet. "We can't leave…what about everyone in Battlus, or on the slopes? They'll be killed!"

"This is a town built in the mouth of an active volcano we're talking about here. You don't think there are countermeasures and escape plans in case of an emergency like this?" May asked. "We have eruption drills once a month. Everyone should be heading for the escape pods and airships as we speak."

"Uh, just one problem with that," Leo said in alarm as he rechecked the data his sunglasses were giving him. "That wave the ship sent out just before firing? That was an EMP! It's fried the electronics of everything in town! None of the emergency systems are working, everyone's trapped! I take back what I said before, _this_ is the Nihilators at their worst, or close to it anyways!"

They all gasped. "We have to do something!" said El Toro.

"Yes, like run away!" Shiitake suggested reasonably.

"I think he was meaning something more like stopping the eruption," Wes said.

"I really don't think that's possible for mons like us," Craw-Daddy said.

"A volcano is a force of nature, and while lots of Pokemon have some control over many forces of nature, this is out of the league of anyone short of a legendary!" Presto said.

"But we can't just leave everyone here to die!" Rui protested.

"What more can we do? Seriously, it's a _volcano!_" Gonzap pointed out.

"I don't suppose _you_ have any crazy ideas on how to stop this?" Pikachu asked Leo.

"Hmm…" Leo rubbed his chin in thought. "Yeah…but where are we going to get a Bermuda Triangle at this time of year on this side of the world?" Pikachu sweatdropped.

"Uh…actually…" J-Pop coughed, causing everyone to turn their attention to her. "_We_ might be able to do something…"

Mizu started. "What? No! You can't do that! It would be the end of your careers!"

"What choice do we have? We can't just let this town get destroyed! A lot of the people here are fans of ours!" Black Diamond Iwark pointed out.

"Si, it isn't right at all! We must save them!" Hombre agreed.

"But if you let your secret out…it could be the end of the Pokerockers!" Mizu protested.

"That's a risk we're willing to take," J-Pop said firmly.

"Um, what are you guys talking about?" asked a confused Ash.

"You guys may be my favorite band, but—no offense—I don't think the power of music can stop something like this," Pikachu said. He paused. "_Can_ it?"

"It can…" Heavy G started.

"And it will!" Heavy F finished.

"But…but…oh, all right!" Mizu said, giving in. "I suppose you have no other choice." She sighed. "And I was really enjoying the rock-star lifestyle, too…"

Wes frowned. "Exactly what are you guys thinking of doing?"

"Watch and see. We Pokerockers have a secret we've been keeping for a long time, but now I think we have no choice but to reveal it to the world, for the sake of our fans!" J-Pop said. She raised her microphone into the air. Her bandmates followed suit, Hombre lifting his guitar and Black Diamond Iwark raising Heavy G and Heavy F. They all made a series of complex hand (or in Iwark's case, tail) movements, slashing their instruments through the air. "Henshin! Magical Music Makeup power-up! Musirangers on the air!"

The microphone, guitar, and 'drums' began to glow. There was a blinding flash of light and a deafening guitar chord, and suddenly all the Pokerockers—yes, _all _of them, including the roadies and tech guys and backup singers and a somewhat reluctant Mizu—were wearing form-fitting colorful spandex with visored helmets and a cape or a scarf or two thrown in. Everyone's jaws dropped. "What. The. Fuck," Gonzap said flatly.

The pink-clad tiara-wearing J-Pop raised her instrument, now transformed into a scepter with a golden microphone at the top, into the air. "Musiranger Songstress!" Pink smoke and glitter and musical notes exploded behind her.

Hombre, who was now wearing green spandex with a long red scarf tied around his neck, jammed on his guitar, which was much fancier-looking with jewels and studs and sequins and flamethrowers worked into it. "Musiranger Guitarist!" Green smoke and glitter and musical notes exploded behind him.

Iwark, each segment of his body wrapped in black spandex with a short red cape tied to the back of his 'neck', beat on Heavy G and Heavy F, who had somehow transformed into a pair of actual metal drums with their faces engraved on them. "Musiranger Drummer!" Black smoke and glitter and musical notes exploded behind him.

"Musiranger Extras!" All the other Pokemon who didn't actually sing or perform shouted. Gray smoke and glitter and musical notes exploded behind them.

"Musiranger Manager," Mizu, now wearing blue spandex, said with a sigh. Blue smoke and glitter and musical notes exploded behind her.

"Musirangers: rock on!" the transformed Pokerockers shouted, posing dramatically. There was a tremendous explosion behind them. The Shroom Brothers, who had been standing there, ran around screaming as the blast set them on fire.

Everyone stared incredulously, too stunned to say or even think a word. Except for Leo, naturally. "Dude, I don't believe this! The Pokerockers are the civilian identities of one of my favorite real-life superhero teams, the Musirangers? That's so cool! I had no idea! I mean, there was no way I could have predicted they were the same people, other than the fact that they often appeared in the same towns at around the same time yet somehow never interacted with each other or were ever seen together at the exact same place and time, or how they all had the same body type and voices, or how the same company handled the merchandising for both groups, or how they both used the same songs, and…and I can't believe I didn't figure this out sooner…"

"Wha…guh…buh…nuh…duh…muh…huh?!" Pikachu babbled, his brain broken.

"Uh…wow. Fighters really have changed a lot in the time I've been gone, huh?" King Sloth asked, stating the obvious.

"It's time for us to save the day!" J-Pop AKA Musiranger Songstress declared. "Arise, Explouzord!" She held her microphone to her mouthplate and started singing, "La, Lala, Lalala! La, Lala, Lalala!" The ocean below churned and bubbled, and with a great spray of seawater and foam a towering purple robot Exploud lurched out of the water and began wading towards shore, roaring as it stomped onto the beach and began climbing up the slope of Giant Volcano.

"Garuda, come on down!" Hombre AKA Musiranger Guitarist cried, playing a sweet riff on his guitar. There was a twinkle of light in the sky, and suddenly a great mechanical Yanmega swooped down towards the island, screeching like a giant bird rather than the enormous robot insect it was.

"Form Sonic Megazord!" Iwark AKA Musiranger Drummer shouted, beating his drums. The eyes of the two beasts flashed, and the robots bellowed as fast-paced Japanese music started blaring from the onboard speakers of both machines.

The Musirangers leaped impossibly high into the air and somehow landed inside of the Explouzord. The band members were shunted throughout the giant mecha to their respective control centers via rapid-transit tubes. J-Pop landed in a seat in a chamber behind the Explouzord's mouth, where two of the Loudreds (named Meg and Amp, in case you were wondering) were waiting, with huge and complex machinery rammed down their throats, plugging their vocal cords into the Explouzord's loudspeakers. The Jigglypuff pulled wires out of the bottom of her scepter and plugged them into the sockets on either Loudred's back, causing a faint whine to reverberate through the machinery. "Sonic Amplificators operational!"

Hombre and a tattooed Hitmonlee (one of the band's bodyguards) appeared in a small two-tiered room. Lombre briefly put down his guitar and stretched out his arms. Cybernetic gauntlets shot out of the wall, connected to the robot's systems by a meshwork of interconnected wires and cables, and slid onto the Lombre's arms, sensors connecting to his neural centers and giving him total control over the Exploudrematic's arms. Similar legwear shot out of the floor and onto the Hitmonlee's legs, giving him total control over the robot's legs. Hombre picked his guitar back up as lights on the ceiling and floor switched on around him. "All motor functions are go! We are all ready!" the Lombre said.

"Let's kick ass!" the Hitmonlee added.

Iwark and his drums were lowered into a room closer to the robot's back. The two drum Pokemon landed into specially designed holders which closed clamps over them, locking them into place. Iwark banged his drumstick on the transformed Heavy F and Heavy G gleefully. "Rhythmic harmonizers online!"

Down in a special engine room in the bowels of the robot, an Electabuzz named Buzz who happened to be the Pokerocker's electric keyboard player--who had not participated in the match against the Fighting Four because he'd been out sick that day--along with the other burly bodyguards/roadies/stage hands were deposited, Buzz in an electric chair which fastened numerous wires and electrodes to his body, and the muscular sidekicks onto treadmills. "Aw, man…why do I gotta be hooked up to the generators?" he grumbled, scratching his itchy yellow spandex outfit. He sighed and flipped a switch, causing several copies of the swimsuit issue of 'Bodybuilders Biweekly', featuring a lovely female Machoke in a string bikini on the front cover, to dangle from the ceiling in front of the treadmill Pokemon, causing them to eagerly start running in hopes that they could reach the magazines, generating power for the robot. "Energy boosters activated!"

Mizu, arms crossed resignedly, rose rapidly up a small, secret elevator shaft into a special, high-tech single-Pokemon control center somewhere high up in the Explouzord. "Command center ready!" She produced a long, prismatic key. "Pokecrystal ignition!" She drove it into a specially designed keyhole.

"Pokecrystal ignition!" the band members echoed, sliding crystals into their keyholes.

The giant robot started shaking and glowing as special servos whirred and pistons pumped within it. The two long tails separated from the rear and flew towards the front, each one splitting into two cylindrical halves as it did so. The fourths attached themselves to the ends of the legs and arms, extending them and giving them fancy gold wrists and ankles, while the original lower arms and legs flexed, hidden hinges revealing themselves and forming new knees and elbows while the old ones locked rigidly in place. New, boot-shaped feet and five-fingered hands extended from these limb extensions. The Exploud's gaping mouth was filled by a giant stereo system with huge loudspeakers covering its surface. The red eyes on the chest rolled upwards, and the top of the Exploudrematic's head flipped open, revealing a vaguely feminine humanoid metal face with blue eyes, a faceplate, and a Pokeball symbol on the forehead.

"GARUDAAAA!" the Pokerockers called with one voice.

The giant Yanmega buzzed and spun around the Exploud, splitting into multiple parts as it did so: tail and abdomen, two of its wings, and head. The two split-off wings flew around and attached themselves to the transformed Explouzord's back, providing it with flight. The head attached itself to the robot's own head, creating a helmet with the giant red bug eyes on the side, looking oddly like headphones. The remaining wings on Garuda's body swiveled forward to create bladed angles as laser strings formed down the length of its tail, landing in the robot's hands and now looking like nothing less than a giant vaguely insectoid guitar. A tremendous explosion erupted behind the combined mecha as the Japanese music reached its climax. "MUSIRANGERS SONIC MEGAZORD GOOOOO!"

"Cooool," said Leo.

"I do not understand," said Sasha.

"I don't think any of us do," said Ash. Tiny sucked his pacifier.

"I do!" said Leo.

"We weren't asking you," Ash said. Leo pouted.

"Sensors indicate the volcano's core temperatures are building up to critical levels! That thing's going to blow any minute now if we don't stop it!" Mizu said. "Fortunately, I think we have just the right song for the job." She grabbed a CD from a very large selection scrolling past her and inserted it into a music player on her control panel. "Music disc slot in!" The Sonic Megazord flexed its metal muscles and started glowing blue as jets of cool air shot out from the vents all over its body.

"Ooh, that should do the trick!" J-Pop said, recognizing the song at once. "Ready guys?"

"Ready!" her teammates chorused. As the tune on the CD started playing all over the robot, the band began to play 'Ice, Ice, Baby.' The Sonic Megazord strummed on its guitar, mimicking Hombre's playing, while J-Pop's beautiful voice rang out from the robot's speakers. With every note, the temperature dropped, and the blue glow around the mecha increased. But so too did the volcano's rumbling and the agitation in the crater. The lava boiled and bubbled and belched, and suddenly a tremendous pillar of liquid flame burst out from the center, shooting up through the hole left by the destruction of Mt. Battle and rising high into the sky, threatening to fall back down on Battlus and everyone in it in a rain of fire that would destroy them all. The Psychics, alarmed, prepared to Teleport everyone they could away…

And needn't have bothered, as the Sonic Megazord saved them all. Gathering blue-white energy in its mouth, the robot strummed its guitar one last time before firing a huge beam of super-cold power at the lava pillar. Fire and ice collided with a flash so bright that it blinded them all…and made them feel oddly chilly, all of a sudden.

When the light faded, the heat and the furor were gone, and everything was much colder. The top of Giant Volcano was covered in ice and snow, the buildings covered in a glistening white coating, the lava in the crater frozen solid and turned into a giant lake of ice with a great glittering column of crystal rising up from the center. Instead of ash and rock and fiery death, snowflakes gently drifted down from the sky as everyone looked around in awe at the landscape, which had been changed from harsh rocky mountain to winter wonderland. Leo immediately took a picture.

"Mission complete!" Mizu said as the Megazord posed triumphantly.

"We rocked!" J-Pop said.

"That's cuz we're the Pokerockers!" Iwark pointed out.

"YEAH!" they all cheered.

"Unbelievable…" whispered an amazedAsh. Tiny, having never seen snow before—Paul and the ninja Buneary's fight notwithstanding, since the whole ring had been enclosed in ice so he couldn't see what was going on—gaped openly at the sheer whiteness around him. A snowflake fell on his tongue, causing him to shiver and blink in surprise.

"_That_ was slick," admitted an impressed Craw-daddy.

"Look at what they've done! Everything looks so beautiful!" said an enchanted Rui. "Oh, Wes, don't you just feel like going down to the crater and skating on that ice?"

"No," said Wes.

"I've never seen anything like it," Max said excitedly. "Well, except for when those ninjas froze the arena this morning…but this is on a bigger scale!"

"It's just like home during the winter holidays," May said wistfully. "When everyone puts up lights and decorates the Snowvers and Santa Clause pays us a visit if we were good little boys and girls…" She shuddered, and not just from the cold. "Or at least, how it used to be until…"

"Don't worry," King Sloth said quietly, putting a hand on his daughter's shoulder. "They'll be like that again from now on. I'm back, and I'm not going away ever again." The Slaking hugged his children.

"It reminds me of home, too," Sasha commented to herself. "I wonder how my family is doing without me?"

"Does this not remind you of when we first met, mi amor?" Zoro asked Rosa, gazing out at the snow.

"Yes, except it wasn't so cold then," Rosa shuddered, huddling closer to the Meowth. "Here, lend me your cape and fur, I could use some extra body heat." He smiled and gave her everything she needed.

"Maybe we should get a giant robot," Bolete suggested. His brothers stared at him incredulously. "What? We could use it to infect tons of people with spores!"

"Not a bad show, was it?" Houdini asked.

"No. I don't think we could have done a better job ourselves," Presto agreed. Uri would have commented, except that his caffeine overdose had worn off and he was conked out snoring in the snow.

"You know, seeing all this almost makes getting kidnapped and transformed into a figurine worth it," The Brock said.

"Really?" asked Forrest.

"It will be if I can score a date," The Brock said, spotting Nurse Joy nearby. "And now's my chance! Uh…Nurse Joy…doesn't this atmosphere put you in a romantic mood?"

"Hmm? Not really, no. I don't especially like winter," Joy complained. "I liked this place better when it was a steaming hot volcano, to be honest."

The Brock sweatdropped. "Oh."

"Shot down again!" Andy cackled.

"Shut up, Andy…" The Brock grumbled.

"It's a miracle," said Pikachu. "The Pokerockers saved us all!...By turning into superheroes in colorful tights. With explosions. And a giant robot…"

"I know! Isn't it great?!" Leo cried excitedly. "I take back everything negative I ever said about them and now admit that their music is pretty bitching awesome! Hey, that means _both_ of us are fans of them now, doesn't it? This means we have an interest in common! Now we can share CDs and watch music videos and footage from their old fights together, play with my Musiranger action figures, exchange autographs and memorabilia, challenge each other in their musical and action-based video games, cosplay together as them…hey, Pikachu, why is your eye twitching like that?"

"Ah, Senor Ash?" El Toro asked Ash.

"Yeah?" Ash asked, taking his eyes away from the beautiful snowy mountain.

"Now that all that mess is taken care of…which of us are you going to fight first?" the Tauros asked.

Ash blinked. "Huh?"

"Most of us only agreed to save you because we were supposed to get a rematch after you were rescued, remember?" Houdini said.

"So, which of us will you fight first?" Mamawak asked.

Ash stared at all the Pokemon waiting to fight him. He sweatdropped. "Aw, crap…"

…

A little later…

After signing autographs and receiving congratulations and adulations from their fans and the Pokemon they had saved, the Pokerockers or Musirangers or whatever they called themselves now boarded their giant robot once more and steered it back down the slope of the chilled-out volcano, ponderously walking back into the sea and sinking into the depths as waves lapped against the mecha's ankles. Why they did this, nobody was certain. Most of the Pokemon who had been released from Ford's imprisonment said their goodbyes and headed off to their respective homes, having families and friends they needed to get reacquainted with.

The Maples, however, had elected to stay behind. "So after all this, you guys aren't leaving?" Ash asked the reunited family.

King Sloth shook his head. "Not just yet, no."

"Now that Ford's been defeated, Mt. Battle destroyed, and the volcano permanently frozen over, much of Battlus's future is uncertain," Max said. "It can no longer serve as a source of geothermal energy, nor can it host tournaments, because few people really want to come see fights in weather as cold as this."

"I've fought in worse conditions," Sasha said diffidently.

"Most people aren't wild Pokemon," Pikachu said.

"True," Sasha agreed.

"So, it looks like Battlus is going to have to become something new if it's going to survive," May said. "And we've actually become kind of fond of the place in the years we've lived here, as weird as that sounds."

"You're right, that is weird," Leo said.

"We think we can make use of the mountain's current condition and turn this place into a ski resort," Max said. "Rebuild the town's economy and infrastructure from the ground up. But we're going to need a strong, trustworthy leader to spearhead the effort."

"Which is why I have to stay," King Sloth said. "Everyone still respects and remembers me from my time as champ almost a decade ago. If I tell them to do something, they'll be more likely to listen to me. I've already sent word to my wife Caroline of my decision. I'm not sure if she's going to be happy about it or even decide to move here—it's not exactly the right climate for a Beautifly like herself—but a mon has to take responsibility sometimes, even if it means staying away from his family."

"Except you won't be staying away from us, since we're not going anywhere," May said.

King Sloth laughed. "I know, I know." He frowned. "Of course, there's another reason I'm staying, too…if those guys who sent that ship should try and come back to finish the job…somebody's gotta be here to stop them, right?"

The others nodded. "Yeah, it would suck if we saved the whole mountain only for those jerks to come back and blow it up again," Leo agreed.

"I can't think of anyone better to handle them than you should they return," said Pikachu.

"Especially with your children by your side," Sasha said. "If they were able to outwit Ford, I am confident they will help you defeat the Nihilators should they return as well."

"Heh, thanks," Max said.

"We'll do our best," May promised.

"We wish you all the best of luck," Ash said honestly. "And thank you guys again for everything you've done. I wouldn't be here today if it weren't for you."

"It's I who should be thanking you, Ash," King Sloth said. "If it weren't for you, _I_ wouldn't be standing here today. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for reuniting me with my family."

"Anytime," Ash said with a grin. They shook hands.

"Awww," Leo said, snapping a picture before the reunited family departed. "Isn't that sweet, Tiny?" Tiny sucked his pacifier and said nothing.

"So, the Maples get a happy ending. That's all well and good, but what about us?!" Gonzap complained. "Mt. Battle's gone, and we aren't the champs anymore, so what're we supposed to do, hit the road again?"

"That might not be such a bad thing," Rui said.

"Yeah, I like traveling," Wes said.

"I don't," Gonzap groused. "I've gotten too used to a sedentary lifestyle…"

"So you guys don't know where you're going next?" Ash asked Wes and his friends.

"Not exactly…but…I was thinking about those guys from before. The ones you called Nihilators," Wes said.

"What about them?" Pikachu asked.

"I want to take them down," Wes said. "Like King Sloth said, something has to be done about them. What they tried to pull today was just plain wrong. Not to mention that, if guys like Paul are welcomed warmly in their midst, it would be best for all parties if they were put out of business."

"Can't argue with you there," Sasha said.

"Ooh! Does this mean you're gonna join our party?" Leo asked hopefully. "Because that would be so cool!"

Wes laughed. "Sorry, but no. I'm not really Rescue Team material. Besides, I don't think I could stand to be on a team where I wasn't the leader."

"You were on Team Snagem for a while and you weren't the leader," Gonzap pointed out. "I was."

"Why do you think I left?" Wes retorted.

Rui rolled her eyes. "Males and their egos…"

"We would like to help as well," Zoro volunteered. "We are needed back in our homeland, but…these Nihilators are clearly a bigger threat than the Espanish tyrants. If they succeed in their mysterious plans, not just our country, but the whole world, could be destroyed."

"We appreciate the offer," Ash said gratefully. "But…honestly, short of you guys joining up with us and helping us find the remaining Star Badges, I'm not sure how you can help. We don't know anything about where the Nihilators are operating from, save that they have the entire town of Treasure Town under their thumb and are too strong there to be ousted by any means."

Wes and Zoro's teams blanched at this. "Treasure Town? Yeah, I'm not touching that place with a ten-foot pole," Wes said with a grimace.

"I've been to a lot of bad towns in my day, and that one has to be the second-worst I've ever seen!" Gonzap said.

"What's the absolute worst one?" Ash asked.

"Genocide City," Wes replied.

"Why is it called that?" Sasha asked.

"Doesn't the name say it all?" Rui replied.

"Treasure Town…I have heard much of that place's evil, and how no hero who tries to clean it up is ever seen again," Zoro said warily.

"Actually, many of them _are_ seen again," Rosa said. "They're usually in pieces, though. Or utterly broken shells of themselves. It's hard to say which is worse, really."

Ash sighed. "Guess that's out, then."

"Actually, I think there _is_ something you guys could do to help," Pikachu spoke up, surprising Ash. "It's an idea I've been working on for a while. Tell me, have any of you heard of Pokemon Square?"

Everyone except for Rui shook their heads. "Oh, I know where that is!" the Umbreon said. "It's some place on the Kanjohenn continent, right? I have family there!"

"Would those family happen to be the Waterflower sisters?" Pikachu asked, checking his earlier hunch.

Rui gave him a surprised look. "Why yes, how did you know? They're my cousins!"

Ash started. "Cousins?! You're related to Misty?!"

"And her sisters. You know, what with them all being siblings and all," Rui said. "I take it you're acquainted with them?"

Leo snickered. "Heheheheh…'acquainted' is one way of putting it." Ash glared at him.

"Pokemon Square is our hometown," Pikachu explained. "Mine and Ash's anyway. The reason I bring this up…well, it's like this. In the very near future, the town is going to be besieged by a barbarian army the likes of which the world has never seen before. An army backed and supported by the Nihilators. For some reason, they believe that destroying Pokemon Square will help them dominate the world, and they're using the barbarians as tools to do that."

They started at this information. "They're working with barbarians?! They really are bad news!" Gonzap squawked.

"Is there no limit to their depravity?" El Toro wondered.

"Not that we've noticed so far," Leo said.

"Pokemon Square already has quite a few strong defenders, and there already should be some new forces coming in to help, but…I was thinking, if it wouldn't be too much trouble…" Pikachu said.

"You want to ask us to go and help defend your home from the savages?" Zoro finished.

Pikachu nodded. "That's the idea, yes. We'd do it ourselves if we could, of course, but we have to find the Star Badges and keep them out of the Nihilators' hands."

Wes frowned. "I dunno…why should we do this? How will protecting some place in the middle of nowhere help defeat the Nihilators?"

"Wes, weren't you listening? The Nihilators are behind the impending attack! If we help repel the siege, we might be able to hinder their plans somehow!" Rui said. "And besides, I have family there! I can't abandon them now that I know they're in danger!"

"I thought you were out of touch with the Waterflowers," Wes said.

"They're still family!" Rui said. "And this will give me an excuse to renew my relationship with them. Especially Misty. She's always been my favorite cousin, much more levelheaded than the other three. How's she doing, by the way?"

"Uh, not so good…" Ash said uneasily.

Before he could explain Misty's dubious fate, Zoro spoke up. "If it will strike a blow against the accursed Nihilators as well as win freedom for Pokemon struggling against the threat of destruction and enslavement, then you can count on the sword of Zoro to aid you! And besides, I would not mind meeting Raiki Thunderblade, a swordsmon in his own right…if only so that I can tell him what a fine Pokemon his son has become!"

Pikachu blushed. "Thanks, Zoro. I knew I could count on you."

"What about you, my friends? Will you join me in fighting the barbarians and Nihilators, or return to our homeland?" Zoro asked his companions. "Just because I am going does not mean you need to follow."

El Toro snorted. "Bah! Don't be ridiculous! El Toro never backs down from a fight, and I know that there will inevitably be one wherever you take yourself, amigo! I shall stand by your side, as always!"

"You can count on me, too!" Lobo volunteered. "I'm not entirely eager to head home just yet…I'd like to put off telling all my ladyfriends that I'm, ah, going to be changing my style for a little longer." Sasha nodded approvingly, and the Mightyena sighed in relief.

Zoro smiled and nodded. "Thank you, my friends! And what of you, Rosa?"

Rosa sighed. "Well, I don't relish the thought of fighting barbarians…they're not nearly as much fun to play with. Admittedly, a fight for justice is a fight for justice…but…"

"There'll be a ton of handsome guys there," Leo said, knowing that that would make up Rosa's mind.

The Roserade stopped her hemming and hawing. "Oho, is that so?"

"Well…yeah, I guess we have some good-looking mons back home," Pikachu said uneasily, wondering if he was dooming some of his poor guy friends at Pokemon Square.

"Hmm…then it is decided! I shall go to Pokemon Square too! Besides," Rosa said, stroking Zoro's chin. "It would not do for me to part ways with my _gatito-gato querido_ for too long. He might forget what I look like and wander into some other seductress's clutches, and we can't have that, now can we?"

"No, we can't," El Zoro purred sensually. Lobo growled slightly in jealousy, caught Sasha glaring at him, and quickly glanced away.

"What I wouldn't give to be that lucky bastard," Gonzap said enviously.

"Gonzap! You're probably old enough to be her father!" Rui hissed.

"Somehow I doubt she would have a problem with that," Gonzap said. Wes and Rui rolled their eyes, though admitted he was probably right.

"So, how about you guys? Will you go too?" Ash asked Wes's team.

"Well-" Wes started.

"We have to go, Wes! I have family there! I don't want them to get killed and/or raped! Please, let's go help them! Pretty please?" Rui begged Wes.

The Espeon shrugged and smiled ruefully. "Well, I guess that answers that question. Yeah, we'll definitely head to Pokemon Square. Could be fun."

"Great! Thanks!" said Ash.

"This really means a lot to us," said Pikachu gratefully.

Gonzap sighed. "Oh, fine. But on the way, we should probably check in with a few of our old contacts…they might be able to tell us more about these Nihilator punks."

"And if they're keeping anything from us, I'll know at once," Rui said. "And then Wes'll beat em' up! Right, Wes?"

"Pretty much, yeah," Wes said.

"How will you know if they're lying?" Ash asked.

"She can see Aura, like you," Sasha explained.

"Oh yeah, I remember hearing about that," Ash recalled. "That's kind of neat, actually."

"Thanks! Seeing is about all I can do, though. I don't suppose you can teach me any other tricks?" Rui asked hopefully.

Ash shook his head apologetically. "Sorry, I'm not much more than a novice myself. I don't think I'll be fit to teach anyone until I can master my own powers…but I think I know someone who could help you, if you have the capability to do more than just see Aura, that is. Another Lucario named Aaron has returned to Pokemon Square after being absent for several years. He's practically an Aura Master! If anyone can show you how to become more powerful, he can."

"Ooh, neat! I'll be sure to look him up when we get to town," Rui said.

"How come he hasn't shown you how to be more powerful?" Wes asked.

"I left before he came back," Ash said Mareepishly. "And we've been trying to get in touch with him for several days now, but something always comes up. Kinda sucks when that happens, doesn't it?" Wes nodded sympathetically.

"Your Aura-sight may actually be more useful than just telling you if your contacts are lying or not," Pikachu told Rui. "You should also be able to identify Nihilators on sight."

"Really? How?" asked the surprised Umbreon.

"Most of the Nihilators we've encountered so far are Shadow Pokemon. Due to how they were created, Shadow Pokemon tend to have pitch-black Auras," Ash explained to her.

Rui shuddered. "A black Aura? I've never seen one of those before."

"Nor should you have, they're unnatural. Something like that shouldn't exist," Ash said. "Another reason for us to stop the Nihilators, so that no more Shadow Pokemon can be created to blight out the world."

Rui nodded. "Got it. I'll keep an eye out for black Auras. If I see one, I'll tell Wes and Gonzap, and they'll grab the guy so we can interrogate him."

"Oh, good, I haven't gotten to interrogate anyone in a long time," Gonzap said. "I was worried I'd get rusty."

"You're already getting rusty, you haven't been taking proper care of your feathers lately," Wes said.

Gonzap rolled his eyes. "Not _that_ kind of rust…"

"Oh! Rui! Now that the dampening field's gone, you can see our Auras, can't you?" Leo suddenly realized. "What do ours look like?"

Rui obligingly closed her eyes and examined each of them in turn. "Hmm…wow. I haven't seen Auras like this in quite a long time, if not ever."

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" Pikachu asked.

"Good. You and Ash's Auras are both very clear and powerful, yours is like a thunderstorm, and his is like a brilliant azure flame. Although…" Rui frowned. "There's something strange flickering closer to his heart. Something dark…"

Ash shifted uneasily as his friends looked at him. "Probably just something caused by my missing memories," he said, though he could not help thinking of the fury that had overtaken him when he had laid eyes on Oblivion's Shadow back in the Tree of Beginning. Was that what Rui was seeing? He wasn't sure he liked the sound of that.

"Leo's Aura looks fine for the most part, although it doesn't shine with the same intensity as either of yours," Rui continued.

Leo frowned. "Should I be offended by that?"

"Sasha has a strong Aura too, but…" Rui frowned. "Huh…it feels like she's hiding something. There's a shade to her indicative of one who keeps many secrets."

Everyone stared at Sasha. She shrugged. "So what if I am?"

"I don't suppose you'd be willing to tell us these secrets?" Pikachu asked.

"Not right now, anyway," Sasha said. "It's nothing you should concern yourselves with, it doesn't affect our mission."

"She's lying," Rui said.

"All right, it does affect our mission, but not negatively," Sasha relented. "It has something to do with the reason I came to help you to begin with."

"I thought you came because you got a premonition," Ash said.

Sasha nodded. "Yes, if by premonition you mean someone ordered me to do it."

"And that someone is…" Pikachu prompted.

"Not an enemy," Sasha said vaguely. They waited, but she didn't say anything else.

"Any other insights?" Wes asked Rui.

Rui shook her head. "No…whatever she's hiding, she's keeping it close to her chest. But I don't sense any malicious intent, so…it's probably nothing bad."

"Then there's no reason we shouldn't still trust her?" Ash asked.

"I don't think so, no," Rui said.

"All right Sasha, we'll let this go for now…but whatever you're hiding, we'd like to hear about it eventually, especially if it's important to our quest," Pikachu said.

"I promise I will explain everything some day, but not right now," Sasha vowed.

"Okay…" Ash said reluctantly.

"But if this comes back to bite us, then we'll scalp you! With a spork! And feed it to Tiny!" Leo threatened. "And it'll hurt a lot. So you'll think twice about betraying us or keeping secrets. Yeah!" Everyone stared at him. "What?" Tiny sucked his pacifier. He didn't want to eat Sasha's scalp.

"What about Tiny?" Ash asked.

Rui frowned. "His Aura's kind of weird. It's jagged and spiky. That's not normal."

"As we mentioned earlier today, he suffered some trauma in the past that's left him silent and mistrustful of others," Pikachu explained. "Except for Ash, who he seems to have formed a rapport with."

"That would explain the strand of energy I saw connecting them," Rui said. "Maybe you can use that to soften and open him up, Ash?"

"That's what I intend to do," Ash said.

"Can you tell me what my Aura looks like, too?" Lobo asked.

"Ooh, or mine?" El Toro asked.

"We can get them examined later," Zoro interrupted before Rui could reply. "If we are going to get to Pokemon Square in time to stop this invasion, then we need to get moving. Let us adjourn to my airship, and we can continue our conversation en route."

"You have an airship? Cool!" said Leo excitedly. "Can I fly it?"

"No," everyone said. Leo sulked.

"Do you mind dropping us off at the airfield near Treasure Town before you go to Kanjohenn?" Ash asked Zoro as they headed for the iced-over airship docks. "We'd love to come back with you, but we need to stay in Sinnorre and continue searching for the Star Badges."

"Not a problem, we'll probably need to make a stop there to refuel anyway," Zoro said.

"Where did you get an airship, anyway?" Gonzap asked. "Stole it from the Espanish?"

Zoro laughed. "Ha! As if they can get anything into the air without it crashing and burning! Which would be rather comedic if it didn't happen so often over our towns…"

"Zoro inherited it from his predecessor, along with his title and sword," Rosa explained. "Like most things related to the Zoro legacy, it has a grand and heroic history of its own."

"Uh, how long a history?" Wes asked, suddenly concerned. "From what I hear, the Zoro legend's been around quite a while, and I'm not sure I'd trust my safety or anyone else's in a ship that old."

"Relax, it's only a few generations old," El Toro said.

"And gets routine maintenance and upgrades," Lobo added.

"Sometimes, I wonder if he loves that ship more than me…" Rosa muttered to herself.

"Oh, I know what that's like. Sometimes I feel like Wes's real girlfriend is his motorcycle, not me. He often takes better care of it," Rui complained.

Wes sweatdropped. "That's a bit of a generalization…"

"You have a motorcycle?" Ash asked the Espeon. "But…you don't have opposable thumbs. Or especially long legs. How do you…"

"Just because I have a motorcycle doesn't mean I actually use it," Wes said, somewhat embarrassed. "It spends most of its time in a garage, looking pretty."

"Much like a good trophy wife…" Gonzap muttered.

"What was that?!" Rui and Sasha snapped.

"N-nothing," Gonzap stammered quickly.  
"If you don't use it, why do you have one?" Pikachu asked.

"Because it looks cool," both Leo and Wes said at the same time.

Pikachu sweatdropped. "Of course. Why did I even ask…"

Soon enough they reached the hangars where private airships were stored when their owners weren't using them, a ways down from the docks all the public and commercial vessels used. After thawing out Zoro's vessel, firing up the engines, and loading their stuff--not that they had a lot, what with Team Aurabolt having pretty much nothing but the contents of the packs on their backs Leo's shell and most of Wes and his friends' stuff getting vaporized along with the rest of Mt. Battle (Wes's motorcycle was okay, though, much to Rui's chagrin)—the ship exited its hangar, taxied onto the runway after getting the all's-clear from the control tower, and rose into the air, leaving Battlus and Giant Volcano behind.

"You know," Ash said as he looked out a window at the frozen mountain receding into the distance. "I think I'm going to miss that place."

"Why?" Sasha asked. "You got beaten up every day, were almost killed by a demon, lost an arm and an eye and were severely wounded by Paul, almost got turned into a figurine by Ford, and lost another Star Badge."

Ash considered that for a moment. "…That's a good point. Even if I did get into some pretty sweet fights, made new friends, and got Tiny, that definitely doesn't make up for all the crap that happened to us there. Good riddance! I never want to go back to that mountain again." Sasha, Pikachu, and Tiny nodded in agreement. (What? While he may have been hatched there, Tiny hadn't been very fond of the place. Too many Pokemon and loud noises.)

"Well, _I_ had a good time," Leo said. "I became stronger, learned tons of new moves, kicked some serious ass and got to battle some of my favorite professional fighters in the ring, solved some mysteries, beat Mewgle in a Shadow Game, got to witness some real-life superheroes in action and found something both Pikachu and I can be fans of (Pikachu cringed at this comment), and best of all, made tons of cash! This was one of the best parts of our adventure yet…aside from Paul running off with the Star Badge and all those people in Mt. Battle getting killed, that is. And that I didn't get a new power for my sunglasses." His shades flashed abruptly. "Oh, wait, never mind, there it is."

"What's your new ability?" Sasha asked.

"I can…read and memorize the contents of an entire book instantly just by looking at them," Leo said in disappointment. "Aw, mon…"

"That's actually a pretty cool power," Ash said.

"Yeah, it'd help get homework done faster and finish really long books quicker, but it's not very practical in an adventure," Leo complained. "When am I gonna get X-ray vision? Or laser eye beams? Or be able to surf TV and the Internet in my head?"

"I'm sure you'll get them some day," Pikachu said, secretly praying he never would.

"Me too," said Leo. "Anyway, like I was saying, other than these hiccups, this was the best part of our adventure so far. I hope the next leg is even better! Speaking of which, where are we going to find the next Star Badge?"

"Let's see," Pikachu said, taking out the magical map, rolling it out on the table they were sitting at, and opening up an ordinary map of Sinnorre for comparison. They all leaned over to look at the magical map, though the extent to which they could make out what was on it varied from Pokemon to Pokemon. Pikachu glanced back and forth between the two maps, eyebrows rising in surprise. "Well I'll be…"

"What is it?" asked Ash.

"_Where_ is it?" Sasha asked.

Pikachu glanced up at his friends. "The ghost town of Twilight's Edge."

…

Meanwhile, back in Pokemon Square…

Rayquaza, Latios, Sabrina, Raiki, and the townsPokemon watching from the balconies looked on in wonder at what was happening to Latias. Her body seemed to be drinking in the sunlight streaming in from the stained-glass window and growing brighter and brighter until it looked as if the dragon were light made solid. "Latias…" Rayquaza whispered, awestruck.

"Getting a little bright, isn't she?" Latios asked anxiously. "She's not going to explode or anything, right? Because lots of things glow like that right before blowing up!"

"Lots of things also glow like that when they are being possessed by a holy spirit," Sabrina pointed out.

"Yeah, but explosions are much more common," Latios fretted. Sabrina rolled her eyes.

Latias supposed, under other circumstances, she might have been afraid of whatever was happening to her. But how could she possibly be scared with all her dear friends and her brother surrounding her? She knew that they would never have let her go through with this if they believed there was a chance she could get hurt. And besides…

Whatever was happening to her felt nice. She was growing warmer, and not just physically, but in a more spiritual and emotional sense, as if a miniature star of pure love and light and power were being born inside of her, and rather than burn her alive, the star filled her with a strong sense of compassion and…and _connectedness_ to all living things.

Her eyes were starting to hurt from the glare of her own form, oddly enough. She closed her eyelids for a moment's reprieve…

And found herself face-to-face with the star inside of her. Latias was amazed at how much the star looked like her…it was as if she was gazing into a mirror. But as she stared some more at the other her, and saw how the second Latias seemed so much stronger and brighter and _real_, she realized that she had it backwards. The star wasn't her mirror, it was Latias herself who was a reflection of the other being, the most beautiful and glorious creature she had ever seen. The statue in the temple didn't do the deity justice. No mere stone could possibly convey the sheer majesty that was the Guardian of Light.

_Hello,_ the Guardian said in a soft, gentle, quiet voice that resonated with every fiber of Latias' being and filled her almost to bursting with sheer joy.

_Hello,_ Latias replied.

_It's good to meet you,_ the Guardian said kindly.

_Same here,_ Latias said back.

_Would it be all right if you let me into your heart?_ The Guardian asked politely, almost embarrassedly, as if she felt it was rude to ask but knew she had to anyway. _Please?_

_Of course!_ Latias said at once. _You don't even need to ask. After all, it's your heart too, isn't it?_ The Guardian smiled gratefully, and it was the most amazing thing the young dragon had ever seen.

And then the star exploded, and light filled every molecule in her body, and the spaces between the molecules, and the spaces between those spaces too. Latias gasped, her eyes flying open as shafts of light shot forth from them. Rayquaza flinched back in surprise, and it was only Sabrina grabbing Latios with her Psychic powers that kept the overprotective brother from flying to his sister's side. "Whoa," said Matthias.

"Ooh," Junior said, his pupils shrinking. "Pretty lights."

"Yeah," Pichu said, enraptured. Then he turned to Sapphire. "Pass the popcorn."

"You brought popcorn into a temple to witness a holy once-in-a-lifetime transformation?!" Collette asked in disbelief.

"Yeah," Pichu said as Sapphire handed him a bag. "Want some?"

Collette sighed. "Oh, all right." She took some popcorn, as did Sapphire, and she smacked Junior on the snout to keep him from snatching the whole thing and stuffing it into his mouth. He sulked in disappointment. Raiki frowned up at his children and grandchildren, wondering if he should be reprimanding them for their irreverence or demanding they give him some popcorn too, he had missed lunch that day.

As everyone looked on in awe and wonder, Latias began to transform before their eyes. It was a lot like evolution, actually. The red coloring which covered most of her body diminished, leaving a majority of soft white down in its place. Red stripes crisscrossed over her skin, forming intricate runes, with a large red spiral over her chest that had a hollow blue triangular ring in the middle. Her short, skinny arms lengthened and thickened, made up of a white forearm and a hard, armored lower arm with three longer, jointed claws than what had previously passed for fingers, with a flattened palm. One of the claws separated from the others, making it a 'thumb' of sorts. Her wings transformed from long triangular fins into white angelic wings with red tips on the very ends of the longest feathers. Her legs, which had previously looked sort of like Crobat feet with very little muscle attached to the lower end of her body, changed into smaller wings like the ones growing from her back. The little 'nub' on her rear grew out into a true, slightly stubby tail with mottled red and white down. Her head for the most part remained unchanged, except the ear tufts on the back had grown out a little and were smoother and more streamlined. The red coloration on her face stayed the same, except there was now a little dot in the small white triangular space on her forehead. Rayquaza's jaw dropped as he beheld what had to be one of the most beautiful Pokemon he had ever seen. (Sad to say, Gardevoir was still prettier. But hey, did Gardevoir glow or have wings?) Nuken would have smiled in amusement at his liege's face, if he had had a mouth. Or smiled, for that matter, which he wouldn't have, even when he was happy. He was very stoic that way, something his girlfriend often complained of.

There were so many gasps it sounded like a gust of wind was blowing through the temple. Oh wait, there was, some idiot had left a window open. "Wow," said Raiki. "I take back what I said earlier about bad SFX."

"I…don't believe it," said a stunned Latios. "My sister actually looks…pretty. I've never thought of her that way before. This feels so…strange."

"Incredible," Sabrina whispered reverently.

"What, you didn't foresee she'd look like this?" Latios asked.

Sabrina shook her head. "I did, but that doesn't mean it isn't still incredible to see it happening again." She stiffened, her eyes glowing blue.

Latios blinked. "Huh? What're you doing?"

"Shut up, I'm having a vision right now," she hissed. She gasped, and her eyes faded back to normal. "Oh no…"

"What? What is it?!" Latios asked anxiously.

"You were right to fear an explosion," she breathed. "Something is about to go horribly wrong." _EVERYONE, GET OUT OF HERE! _ She shouted at the top of her nonexistent telepathic lungs. _SOMETHING VERY BAD IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN! GET OUT BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!_ She injected everyone with an extra dose of fear and a strong compulsion to run for the exit just to be safe.

There were surprisingly few screams as the evacuation started. In a town like Pokemon Square, you got used to stuff like this happening now and then. "Come on kids, time to go," Delia said, pushing her children and grandchildren away from the balcony and merging into the swift-flowing panicky flow of Pokemon rushing for the front door.

"But what about Dad?!" Pichu protested.

"He'll stay here to make sure nothing too awful happens," Delia said. "It's what he does."

Indeed, down on the bottom floor Raiki had drawn his sword and was charging up electricity. "What's going to happen?" he called to Sabrina.

"Something is going to go wrong with the spell!" she replied.

"Then I'm getting my sister out of there!" Latios declared, charging towards the glowing circle until Sabrina grabbed him again.

"Don't be a fool, going in there could be what triggers the accident! You might kill yourself, your sister, and everyone else!" she snapped.

"Sorry…" he said, chastened.

Raiki glanced at Yamiri, the other priests, and Aaron, who were all so deep in trances that Sabrina's warning hadn't registered in their minds. Rayquaza also didn't seem to have heard it, so focused was he on Latias. "Would knocking any of these guys out stop it?"

Sabrina shook her head. "At this advanced state in the casting, an interruption like that could also kill them as well as everyone connected to the spell."

"…Wait, is this one of those self-fulfilling prophecies?" Raiki asked suspiciously, lowering his weapon. "The kind where your attempts to stop a disaster just trigger it instead, and the best thing to do is nothing at all?"

Sabrina shook her head again. "No, it's going to happen regardless of anything on our parts, though you're right in guessing that our inaction would be for the best. I'm not sure why this is happening, though…we must have done something when we prepared for the spell, but I can't see how, we followed all the instructions to the letter!"

"Maybe the instructions themselves were wrong?" Latios suggested.

Sabrina gave him a blank look. "The instructions came from an ancient society that's been serving the gods for millennia and a thousand year-old Ninetales mystic. How on Earth could they be wrong?!"

"It was just a thought…" Latios said weakly.

"Sabrina, is there anything we can do? Anything at all?" Nuken asked, floating down.

Sabrina shook her head. "Whatever's going to happen will happen, and anything we try to do will only make it worse. All we can do now is wait and hope for the best." Aaron gasped in pain and almost fell over, his Aura flickering wildly and suddenly turning red. The crystal in his staff, the Aura he had sent into the lines of the spell, and the holy relics turned red as well, bathing the room in light the color of blood. Ominous-looking arcs of red energy started crackling all over the place as the ground beneath their feet began to rumble faintly. "You see? It has already begun!"

"That doesn't look good…" Raiki muttered.

"My sister!" Latios gasped. "She's going to be in the center of that when it goes off!"

"As will His Majesty!" Nuken agreed.

Both Pokemon tried to fly forward, only for an exasperated Sabrina to telekinetically pull them back. "Don't any of you _listen?!_" she snapped. "I said that interfering will only make it worse! I have foreseen that as long as we stay out of the way, whatever's going to happen won't kill them. But if we try to stop it…"

"They'll die?!" Latios cried. "But…but…I don't want her to get hurt…"

"Hurt is better than being dead," Raiki pointed out.

"Ahem," said Nuken.

Raiki blushed. "Er, right. Well, uh, you know what I mean."

Sabrina glanced around as the rumbling grew stronger. "Everyone's out of the building except us, so there shouldn't be any casualties. Raiki, get over here, I'll use my powers to protect us for as long as I can."

"Can't you just Teleport us out of here?" Raiki asked as he came over.

"And leave my sister behind?! No way!" Latios said.

Sabrina nodded. "I cannot leave either, I must see all that happens so later we can figure out what went wrong."

"Got it," Raiki said.

Rayquaza continued staring at Latias, so fixated by the light radiating from her new form that he didn't seem to notice the chaos brewing all around him. "Latias?" he asked quietly. "Are you all right?"

Latias opened her eyes, and his heart stopped, for the gold he saw in them was that of the Pokemon he loved…and at the same time, it was not. "Rayquaza?" she whispered, her voice filled with a longing that spoke of countless eons of waiting and loneliness separated from her soulmate.

It was not Latias. Or rather, it was Latias, but not the way Rayquaza knew her. She was both more and less, greater and smaller, subsumed by the persona of the god inhabiting her body while at the same time still there in her entirety. The look in her eyes spoke of a love and desire powerful enough to consume whole worlds, and while he had always secretly hoped that Latias would one day look at him this way, the intensity and power behind the gaze of the dragon before him, the emotions of an entity older than time itself, filled him with a simultaneous thrill of joy and terror, and he feared that her boundless love and light would devour him until nothing remained.

So, he did what any sane red-blooded Pokemon male would have done when confronted by a god in the form of their secret crush whispering their name in such a way that implied it wanted to mate with you then and there and never let you go. He panicked, rearing back and away from the thing that was and was not his Latias. The look of surprise and disappointment and heartbreak in her beautiful eyes took his breath away…

As did the sudden explosion which rocked the entire temple. The townsPokemon gathered anxiously outside started as the roof disintegrated and a shimmering emerald serpent of energy rose up, roaring in pain and fury as it flew to the southeast. "Holy crap!" a shocked Matthias cried.

"Wow," said Pichu. "Don't see that every day."

"More like every month or so," said Sapphire.

Matthias stared at them incredulously. "…You're kidding, right?"

"No, really, we get giant colorful energy monsters all the time," Collette said. "The last one was a big purple Hippowdon. With wings."

"And the one before that was a ten-headed crimson Gyarados," said Sapphire.

"..A…a ten-headed…" Matthias's eye twitched. "That…that says a lot about this town that I'm not entirely sure you're lying to me. It seems like anything can happen here."

"And it usually does," Junior said.

Matthias sighed. "That's what I'm afraid of…"

…

Meanwhile, in the Mysterious Woods…

"I apologize again for any inconvenience we caused you," a Leafeon with a broken crystal in his forehead apologized to the Rockets.

"It's no problem at all, we understand perfectly. Your people must be very wary towards outsiders after what you've suffered recently," Wabbaku said graciously.

"Speak for yourself…you're not the one with rope burns or a torn wing…" Jessie grumbled, wiggling her injured wing with a wince.

"You shouldn't move that, My Queen, you'll only tear it more," the concerned Buzz said.

"Nobody asked for your opinion," Jessie snapped.

The Rockets were currently sitting in a makeshift hut a few miles away from the ruins of the Tree of Beginning. The Pokemon who had attacked them were members of the native tribe known as the Caretakers, who had seen them poking around and assumed that they were thieves or slavers or more monsters like the ones who had destroyed their home and ruined their lives, so knocked them out and dragged them back to their leader, the Pokemon they called 'the Protector.' The Protector, who seemed far too young for someone with as much responsibility as he had on his shoulders, had immediately ordered the Rockets to be freed, concluding that a bunch as pathetic-looking as them couldn't possibly be a threat. They weren't sure whether to be relieved or insulted.

"So you say you need one of our life crystals to remove demonic traces from your friend there?" the Protector, Michael, asked as he glanced at Mickey, who was hugging his jar of dirt, as usual. "That's a reasonable request. You could have just asked us and we would have let you take one."

"That might be true, but we had no way of knowing that ahead of time," Wabbaku said. "We didn't know where to find you, and we were worried we would not face a welcome reception. And considering how your people _did_ greet us…"

Michael sighed. "We have had very hard times as of late…and I fear they will not become any easier for a while yet."

"Turmoil and strife are the way of life," a brutally scarred and maimed Plusle standing next to Michael who, for some reason, had buttons for eyes said cryptically.

"The world is rife with those who must fall under the knife," an equally mutilated Minun standing on Michael's other side said.

The Rockets looked at the electric mice in trepidation. "Those two kinda creep me out," Jessie said quietly.

"Why do they have buttons for eyes?" James whimpered. "It's like they're staring at me, unblinking, never looking away…now I'm going to have nightmares."

"Chiiii," Chimecho agreed, quivering as he hid behind James's head.

"They remind me of that Neil Gaymon book and hit animated film that probably gave countless children—and adults--horrible nightmares, Corsoline," Gardenia agreed.

"My friends Pipi and Mimi have not been the same since their torture at the appendages of the monster that conquered us, Doctor Tarantulas," Michael said apologetically. "We were able to remove the stitches from their mouths so that they could speak again, but as for the rest…some wounds are too deep to ever be healed."

"Around us, the mad Doctor's web of death was spun tight," Pipi said.

"Compared to some of the others, though, we got off pretty light," Mimi finished.

"I'm guessing they can't stop rhyming due to what happened to them," Jessie said.

"Pretty much," said Michael. "On the plus side, they seem to have gained some degree of oracular power due to the loss of their eyes and their minds being utterly broken under the full weight of the unspeakable torments they suffered." Wabbaku nodded, there was precedent for that sort of thing. "And since the spirits of the ancestors no longer speak to me, I need all the advice I can get."

"You can no longer hear their voices? That's terrible," Wabbaku commiserated. "I do not know what I would do if my ancestors left me. Their wisdom has guided me all my life."

Michael perked up at this. "You can hear the voices of your predecessors as well? Mine have been silent ever since the Tree of Beginning was killed. I know they can't talk to me anymore because the Tree was destroyed and so the conduit of power connecting us was broken, but deep down I can't help but feel that they're shunning me for failing my duty."

"What happened was beyond your control. Forces greater than all of us were at work. You just happened to get caught up in their conflict. There was nothing more you could have done," Wabbaku said.

Michael nodded. "I know that. But I am the last Protector. I lived, while the Tree did not. I cannot help but feel responsible for the hard times my people are going through now."

"Unbearably heavy is the burden of the leader," Pipi said.

"Bear it he must, lest he wilt like the cedar," Mimi added.

"What cedar?" asked a confused James.

"They're talking about how the forest is dying, now that the Tree can no longer sustain it," Michael translated. "And if it dies, we will no longer be able to live here. We wil have to move somewhere else…a prospect that fills us all with dread, for we have never left this place, and are already well aware that the outside world is full of terrible dangers, including the villains responsible for our loss."

"Who _did_ do this, anyway?" Jessie asked. "They destroyed your Tree, killed and enslaved and tortured your people, did _that_ to your friends…who would do something like this?"

"A demon?" Mickey asked nervously.

"They were no demons," Michael said angrily. "At least, none other than the kind that walk this world clothed in Pokemon flesh."

"Yipe! You mean there's demons walking around everywhere, disguised as regular Pokemon like you and me?!" James yelped.

Wabbaku rolled his eyes. "I think he meant that they were as cruel as demons, but otherwise they were regular Pokemon."

"Aside from the strange power they possessed…the power of Shadow," Michael said.

"A vile and terrible darkness filled their closed hearts," Pipi said.

"Great was their power and wickedness, born from forbidden arts," Mimi said.

Michael nodded. "They were creatures known as 'Shadow Pokemon,' their hearts closed through artificial means, no doubt by the ministrations of Dr. Tarantulas. They belonged to a sinister organization called the Nihilators, who seek world domination." The Rockets fidgeted but said nothing, deciding not to mention that they, too, were part of an organization trying to conquer the world. "We were only able to free ourselves from their clutches with the help of some valiant outsiders, to whom we are eternally grateful."

"Were they like us?" Buzz asked.

Michael shook his head. "No, they were much more courageous. And effective." The Rockets sweatdropped.

"Even though your population has been depleted and your home is dying, at least some of you still live," Wabbaku said. "And where there is life, there is hope."

Michael sighed. "I know that. But there is little hope for us left in this place. Very soon, we will have to leave forever…I'm just not sure if there's any hope for us out there, too."

"Find a new home, we shall," Pipi said.

"Otherwise, all of us will fall," Mimi said.

Michael grunted. "That's not particularly reassuring…but I have gotten off the subject. You don't need to hear me lament about my own problems when you have troubles of your own. You may keep the life crystal. We have others, and you need one at the moment more than us, considering your friend's advanced state of corruption. I doubt he has much time left before he transforms into a demon, considering his behavior."

"Hmm?" Wabbaku turned to see that Mickey was shoving dirt from his jar into his mouth. "Oh, that's not a symptom of his transformation. That's ordinary for him. I gave that dirt to him to slow down his change."

Michael blinked. "Ah."

"You know, I tink I'm starting to develop a liking for dis," Mickey muttered around clumps of dirt. "Tastes better den you'd tink." Everyone sweatdropped.

…

Meanwhile, in Almiore…

"So, let me get this straight," Maren said as Hissssa poured her some tea. She and Mary had arrived at the two-headed serpent's cave a few minutes ago, ready for a fight, and were understandably surprised to see everyone chowing down and having a pleasant conversation with each other. Very confused, they had immediately been offered seats and attempted to try and understand what the heck was going on. "Hissssa is a vegetarian and has _not_ been eating all the young mons she's been kidnapping."

"Yep," the head holding the teapot said as she finished Maren's cup.

"We decided to go green a while ago and only eat inanimate nonsentient plantsss. We're too sssofthearted to kill sssomebody jussst to feed ourssselvesss," the second head said.

"That'sss kind of put usss at oddsss with the ressst of the family though, bloodthirsssty ssserpentsss all of them," the first head hissed.

The second head nodded. "We're dessscendantsss of the legendary eight-headed monssster Yamatorochi, and are sssupposssed to be vile carnivorousss reptilesss just like him. Our refusssal to follow tradition hasss made usss the white Mareep of the family."

"And while we're perfectly happy not to have to asssociate with them anymore, it'sss hard to get an honessst job when you're a two-headed giant monssster, sssince terrorizing villagesss ssseemsss to be about all we're good for," the first head lamented.

"But then the Mayor of Chicole Village—Jerry's father—hired you to pretend-kidnap maturing adolescent mons as an attraction to draw tourists to town and reinvigorate their economy, which has been flagging since fishing isn't bringing in as much Poke' these days as it used to," Maren continued.

"Pretty sweet scam, if I do say so myself," Gary said approvingly.

"Yeah, I wasss impresssed too," Evan said.

"In return for pretending to be a big scary monster, you get to eat as much greenery as you want, as well as loads of these…baubles," Maren said, indicating the piles of sparkly stuff all around them.

"Why didn't you ask to be paid in cash or treasure? These things are pretty much worthless," Mary complained.

Hissssa shrugged her serpentine coils. "One mon'sss trasssh isss another mon'sss treasssure," one head said.

"We don't really have much ussse for money—what, like we're going to go ssshopping or something?—but we _love_ pretty ssshiny thingsss, ssso we get asss much of thossse asss we like ssso long asss we keep doing our part," the second head said.

"What do you do with them, though?" Mary asked.

"Sssleep on them," one head said.

"Ssstare at them," the second head said.

"The usual," they said in unison.

"Well, dragons keep hoards of treasure, so I see no reason giant two-headed snakes can't keep hoards of…er…sparkly stuff," Gary said.

"Maybe I ssshould ssstart making a collection of my own," Evan mused.

"But since you don't eat the mons, and they're never seen again in town—by the tourists, anyway—what do you do with them?" Maren asked.

"College," Jerry said with a sigh.

Maren blinked. "College?"

Jerry nodded. "There's a pretty decent academy a few towns over that, sadly, has too high a tuition for most of us poor fishermon's sons in Chicole Town to afford. However, with all the income we rake in from the tourists, we're able to pay for a full four-year education for every young mon that reaches college age, plus extra."

Mary gasped. "Which is why Hissssa only takes mons who are almost adults…once they're old enough to be accepted to college, she takes them away in a big flashy sending-off ceremony, and then they hike over to the academy and enroll as well as getting an apartment or staying in a dorm or something so that the tourists don't see them around town after they've supposedly been devoured!"

"And if the tourists for whatever reason happened to go to that town, they probably wouldn't recognize the students, and if they did, the students could just lie their way out of any awkward situation" Gary said. "A pretty damn fine plan, if I do say so myself."

Maren frowned. "But wait…that's only the males! What about all the adolescent girls? Are they excluded from all this out of some sexist desire to keep them in the kitchen gutting fishes rather than gaining an education?!"

"No, there's a rather prestigious all-girl's school nearby that has a very generous scholarship program that they can get into pretty easily," Jerry said. "The academy the boys go to is more expensive and has much stricter requirements, though, which is why we need to use somewhat more underhanded methods to ensure we get in."

"Oh," said Maren.

"I guess that explains everything, then," Jerry said anxiously. "So, if you could please keep this to yourselves-"

"Hold on, there's two other things that we need to deal with," Maren interrupted. "First of all, where is the compass fragment?"

"The what?" Hissssa asked.

"We're looking for the pieces of a magical compass," Gary explained.

"The Mayor sssaid he gave hisss piece to you," Evan asked Hissssa. "Do you have it?"

"That old thing?" one of Hissssa's heads asked.

"Sssure, no problem," said the other.

One of her heads dug around for a moment in one of the piles of junk littering the room, then dropped whatever she had found on the table. It looked like a perfectly ordinary piece of broken glass. Gary took out the compass base and checked the needle. To his delight, it was pointing right at the bit of glass. "Yep, that's what we came for," he said. He took the fragment and inserted it in the base. There was a flash of light, and the glass was fused seamlessly together with the piece they had collected from Mt. Boyleland.

"That wasss easssy," Evan said.

"Almost too easy," Mary complained. "I was looking forward to a fight."

"Sssorry, I'm a lover, not a fighter," one of Hisssa's heads said.

"Asss that handsome thing there knowsss all too well," the other head said, winking at Evan, who giggled and turned blushed.

"Now that that's settled, if you guys would just promise not to tell anyone-" Jerry started.

"One other thing," Maren interrupted, a suspicious look on her face. "We can't have been the first people to have figured this out. Your father told us that plenty of adventurers and warriors—and a group of soldiers from the Mirage Kingdom--have come here to battle Hissssa! But none of them were ever seen again, and I highly doubt _they_ were shipped off to college too, so where are they?!"

Jerry hesitated. "Uh…well…"

"It's a funny thing you should mention that," a familiar voice boomed.

They whirled around to see the angry figure of Jerry's father, the Mayor, standing at the entrance to the chamber. "Oh, hi bosss!" Hissssa hissed.

"Dad! What are you doing here?" asked the surprised Jerry.

"I came to make sure nothing went wrong…but it seems as if I was too late, as these fools now know everything about our scheme!" the Mayor said furiously. "I warned them to stay away, for their own good, but they refused to listen to reason and now they know too much!" His eyes narrowed ominously. "And so I am left with no choice…but to do to them what we have done to all the others who have discovered our secret! None of you shall ever see Chicole Town ever again!"

They all gasped. "Wait, can't I at leassst finisssh my date with Evan firssst? We were having sssuch a good time!" Hissssa protested.

"What ssshe sssaid!" Evan said.

The others sweatdropped, and the Mayor facepalmed. "NO!" the Mayor shouted.

Hissssa sighed. "Oh well. It wasss worth a try."

"Now, where was I?" the Mayor said. "Ah, right! We shall do to you what we have done to all who have learned our secret, and you will never see Chicole Town again!"

"You already said that," Gary pointed out.

"I don't really care," the Mayor said.

"Oh, okay," Gary said.

And then the Mayor did to them what he had done to everyone else who had discovered his secret, and they were never seen in Chicole Town again.

…

Wow, this chapter was much longer than I thought it would be. But hey, at least the Mt. Battle arc is finally over!

Well…_almost_ over. Next time we need to tie up a couple of loose ends in the recurring subplots that have been going on so far, as well as check in on a few other plot threads that haven't been touched for a while. So tune in next time for the third installment of 'Whatever happened to whatshername?' to find out more about what Gardevoir and Misty have been up to, and other things besides!

And after that, I'll definitely do the bonus chapter for Latias' Journey I've been promising you all. Probably. Maybe. We'll see.

See you then!


	31. Whatever happened to whatshername? pt 3

And now for our next installment of seeing what other people who aren't relevant to the plot (for the moment, anyway) are up to! Be assured that the events you are about to see here will have an impact on the next arc, if not the story at large, though the latter may take a bit longer to see.

There might also be some disturbing stuff, but that should be par the course by now.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

When the Buneary ninja came to, she knew at once that she was not in a good place. The horrible screaming was a good hint.

She was suspended in the center of a large standing ring, her hands and feet encased in metal spheres affixed to the inner edge of the ring. Rather bright spotlights were focused on her from every direction, and even the floor was lit up, forcing her to squint to keep from being blinded by the glare.

All her weapons were gone, as were her wrappings and other adornments, exposing her unusual black fur and the grotesque scars and burns on her face and neck to the world. Whoever had captured her had done a very thorough job of stripping her. Of course, that didn't mean she didn't have _other_ ways of getting out of a jam…

As she tried to remember how she had gotten into this mess to begin with, a familiar thickly accented voice rang out, causing her sensitive ears to flinch. "Fascinating…"

The shiny metallic figure of Doctor Tarantulas scrambled towards her, light gleaming off his mostly mechanical form. She noted that he had one more robot appendage than the last time she had seen him. He was followed, as always, by a small army of robot spiders, as well as his henchman, the deranged Sunflora Chobin. For some reason, the crazed flower was wearing a somewhat tattered red cloak now. The mad scientist stopped in front of her and reared up, his mechanical eye telescoping out to examine her form. Chobin also examined her, but with a quite different purpose in mind. She glared at the both of them. Most Pokemon would have recoiled from the hatred behind those eyes, but not these two, they were used to that sort of thing.

"A remarkable specimen, isn't she Chobin?" Tarantulas mused to his lackey. "Incredible agility, deadly grace, a lezal killing instinct…I vonder how much of zat is due to training and how much is due to ze regular injections of Sneasel DNA she has been giving herself, enough to turn her fur permanently black and give herself a Dark subtype?"

"A little of both," said an even more familiar and even more hated voice. The hairs on the ninja's body stood up and all her muscles tensed as she saw her nemesis, Paul Yami, join the Doctor and Chobin in looking at her. She instinctively lunged forward to tear out his throat, but unfortunately her restraints held her back, the ring rocking slightly as she tried to break free. She opened her mouth to scream abuse at Paul, but due to her damaged vocal cords all that came out was a strangled whine. Chobin snickered. Ignoring her, Paul turned to the Doctor and continued speaking. "She was just a baby when she came into our care, fresh out of the egg and close to death. NinJoy came up with the idea of infusing her with Sneasel blood to save her life. The elders were as surprised as everyone else that it worked as well as it did."

"Zose Joys alvays have been medical miracle-vorkers," Tarantula muttered. "I must discover zeir secrets someday…"

"Zat day vill not be today, Doctor," a voice that sounded like Tarantulas but couldn't possibly be said as a new figure draped in black with a mirror for a face glided over, its cloak so dark that it seemed to absorb the light all around them. Despite herself, the ninja found herself trembling as she looked into the thing's lack of a face and saw her own grisly visage reflected back at her. There was something wrong with her reflection's eyes…she was ashamed by how relieved she was when it turned away to look at the Doctor. "Vhat is your assessment? Can ve use her?"

"Vell, she is clearly extremely skilled. She is an expert assassin and ninja, viz ability zat may even surpass Paul, considering zat she vas able to strip him of his immortality and almost kill him," Tarantulas considered.

"She was lucky," Paul growled. "And besides, she only _nearly_ killed me. _I_ would have made sure to finish the job." The Buneary bristled at that, though a part of her couldn't help wondering how she could have failed in her assassination attempt. She had been so sure her aim was true…

"Zat is true, zat is true," Tarantulas agreed. "Still, her power and mastery over ninjutsu is unquestionable. She is a very dangerous fighter, again as evident due to her ability to keep up viz—and almost kill—Paul, as vell as ze fact zat she killed a quarter of ze crew in ze ship ve sent to ze volcano to collect ze Star Badge, and probably vould have killed all of zem had she not been so fixated on killing Paul zat zey vere finally able to capture her. She _really_ hates you, doesn't she?"

"She has reason to," Paul said. He did not sound the least bit remorseful about this. It was just a simple and honest statement of fact. The Buneary glared at him. He met her gaze, unflinching. As always, she wondered how he could have changed so much, from the Pokemon she had once known into this…this _monster_. He had been so different once…

"Her ability to travel zhrough shadows and her unique Dark-type immunity to Psychic probes are also assets," Tarantulas continued. "As are her surprisingly powerful cryokinetics, somezing her species are not known for. Again, I can probably attribute zat to her training and ze vork done on her. I vonder vhat Bellum vould zink of zat? Plus, she is already familiar viz our enemies and has shown she can obtain ze objects ve are seeking...much to my chagrin." The Buneary frowned at this. They wanted to use her against Team Aurabolt? To kill them and take those badges and map they carried? Yeah, like that was going to happen. Even if she were not already acquainted with them, she wasn't going to assist an organization that included her greatest enemy in killing them.

"Zat does not answer my question," the dark figure said. "Can ve use her?"

"She has a strong vill and a heart full of fury. She vould make a very powerful Shadow Pokemon," said Tarantulas. He frowned. "However, zat fury is less against ze vorld and more against one individual, vich is different from most Pokemon who join our ranks, who are bitter and hateful towards life in general and so are easily turned into weapons. Furzer examination may reveal somezing else, but from vhat Paul has already told me and from a background check I've run on her I do not zink she vill join us villingly."

"Perhaps ve could use zat fury against her, zhough…" the dark figure mused. Still looking at Tarantulas, the figure addressed the Buneary. "If ve allowed you to kill Paul, vould you be villing to assist us?"

"Wait, what?!" Paul started. "But-"

"You may have obtained another Star Badge for us, but your orders were to also grab the map," the dark figure said, looking at the Weavile. Eerily enough, now his voice sounded exactly like the ninja's hated foe. "You disobeyed me, and you know I do not like it when my orders are not followed to the letter."

"There were too many Pokemon there. If I had made a move for the map, I would have had to fight all of them," Paul argued.

"That's never been a problem for you in the past," the figure said.

"I was immortal then. Now I'm not," Paul said.

"Exactly. Without your immortality, your only assets are your ninja skills and your desire to kill everything. The Buneary may be a better ninja than you, and your bloodlust alone doesn't really set you apart from any other Nihilator in my army. Therefore, you are expendable," the figure explained. Paul gritted his teeth angrily, but said nothing.

Chobin cackled. "Kill Paul, kill Paul, Chobin wants to see her kill Paul! Furururururu!"

The Buneary actually considered this for a moment. The chance to kill Paul? To avenge those he had betrayed? The very prospect almost made her salivate in anticipation.

But…no. She could not kill Paul if the price was selling her soul. She would not help these Pokemon to kill innocents. She had fallen far since she had set out on her path of vengeance, but that line was one she still refused to cross, because it was all that stood in the way of her becoming exactly like the Pokemon she hated more than any other. She shook her head. "You are certain?" the dark figure asked. The Buneary nodded. No. She would never help people like them. "How disappointing."

"How pathetic…" Paul sneered. "I'm not surprised."

"Shouldn't you be being grateful she is not doing the killing of you to death rather than you are doing the insulting?" Chobin asked.

"…" Paul punched Chobin.

"Ow, Chobin says! Chobin's glasses are broken like so many fragile dreams into a million tiny pieces of stinging pain like the stings of a Beedrill that are stinging and painful…some of them are in my eye…" Chobin groaned.

"Suck it up," Paul said.

Tarantulas glared at Paul. "Be grateful I do not dismember you limb from limb for zat. Nobody gets to abuse Chobin except for myself! And, ah, Oblivion's Shadow, of course."

"Doctor, our guest is uninterested in helping us of her own free vill," the newly dubbed Oblivion's Shadow said.

Tarantulas brightened up at this. "Good! I vas hoping she vouldn't! Now I have ze chance to _force_ her to join us! Zis vill be so much fun! I've never broken a ninja before!"

"Oh! Oh! Can I rape her and molest her body just as a Beedrill molests flowers to harvest their sweet, sweet honey nectar of sweetness that is deliciously delicious and enjoyed by Ursarings, especially if those Ursarings are being Pedobears and harvest _other_ kinds of honey too that is from another kind of flower that is not a plant but a Pokemon unless it is a Grass type which can often be flowers and isn't actually honey at all? Her horrible disfiguring disfigurement of ugliness is turning Chobin on," Chobin rambled.

"Sure," Tarantulas said. "Paul, you vant some of her too? You are old friends, after all."

"I'm not interested in raping her, but I certainly have no problem with making her suffer for defeating me and stealing my immortality," Paul said, flexing his claws.

"Excellent! It'll be a pain party!" Tarantulas said gleefully.

"Yaaaaayyyy!" Chobin cheered.

"I vill leave you all to your fun and games. I have more important matters to deal viz," Oblivion's Shadow said. "Inform me of your progress later."

"Do you vant a video viz ze report?" Tarantulas asked. "I vas going to tape it to vatch again later anyvay. Chobin loves zat sort of zing."

"Chobin loves that sort of thing!" Chobin agreed.

"Zat vill not be necessary," the Shadow said. "But vhen you break her, be sure not to break her _too_ hard, ozzervise it vill be impossible to control her." With that, he left.

"Eh, restraint isn't really Chobin's strong suit…" Tarantulas said.

"Or mine," Paul said.

"Or Chobin's!" Chobin said.

"I already said it vasn't your strong suit," Tarantulas said.

"Oh, sorry, Chobin's hearing was not working properly due to Chobin's glasses being broken like broken dreams that are being broken very badly," Chobin apologized.

"…Chobin, your glasses are for your _eyesight._ Vhat do zeir being broken have to do viz your hearing?!" asked a confused Tarantulas.

"What? Chobin cannot be hearing you properly, due to Chobin's glasses being broken like broken dreams that are being broken very badly," Chobin said loudly. "And then dipped in mustard. Of DOOM."

"I…" Tarantulas sweatdropped. "You'd zink I'd be used to zis after all zese years, yet he keeps finding vays to top himself. Sometimes I vonder if he does it on purpose."

"Want me to kill him?" Paul offered.

"No, zen I'd just resurrect him later and ve'd be back to square one," Tarantulas said. "Instead, let's begin torturing ze subject! I go first, since it's my lab."

"No, I go first. I have the justifiable grudge against her, and we have a shared history," Paul insisted.

"Are you ze one who captured her? Are you ze one who stopped her from going on a rampage and killing dozens of Nihilators? Are you ze one who put her in zis shadowless escape-proof ring?" Tarantulas challenged.

"No, and neither are you," Paul pointed out.

"Zat's irrelevant. It's my lab! And besides, I designed zat zing, so I get some credit for her capture. You can have a go after Chobin, who's after me," Tarantulas said.

"Yay!" Chobin cheered.

"Why does he get to go before me?" Paul complained.

"Because I said so. Now!" Tarantulas gestured, and a very nasty-looking device was wheeled over by his mechanical minions. The ninja regarded it with alarm, noting that it basically looked like a large wall covered in very sharp hypodermic needles attached to a hinged hydraulic arm. "Let us begin!"

"What's that thing?" Paul asked.

"Oh! Oh! I know! I know!" Chobin said eagerly. "Pick me, pick Chobin!"

Tarantulas ignored him and explained the device by himself. "Zis is a razzer clever torture device I came up viz one day after Chobin got ze measles. Each of zose syringes contains an incredibly dangerous virus and/or toxin, many of vich I invented just for zis purpose. Zis machine will inject _all_ of zose lovely diseases and poisons into ze bloodstream of a test subject at once."

"Won't that kill her?" Paul asked. "Not that I wouldn't love to see her dead, but I thought Oblivion's Shadow wanted her alive."

"Oh don't vorry my boy, you have nozzing to fear. I see you've never heard of ze 'Zhree Stooges' effect," Tarantulas said with a laugh.

"I haven't. What is it?" Paul asked.

"In the cartoons of color and explosions and much comedic pain and violence, it is happening all the time!" Chobin declared. "Lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of Pokemon all rush for a portal of exitness at the same time. But they cannot all be fitting through the door at once, so they are getting stuck like a hand trying to withdraw too many pickles from the pickle jar! Hmm, now Chobin is wanting a pickle."

"…What does any of this have to do with that machine?" asked a confused Paul.

Tarantulas gave an exaggerated sigh. "My dear boy, I can see zinking is not your strong suit. Allow me to clarify. By injecting all zese horribly fatal poisons and viruses into ze Buneary at once, no single injection vill kill her because each of zem vill be fighting ze ozzers to do it first! Zey vill be so busy competing viz each ozzer zat none of zem vill have time to work zeir killing magic on her! Not zat zey are actually magic, of course, zat's Bellum's specialty, but you know vhat I mean."

"That's it?!" Paul asked incredulously. "If they cancel each other out, then what's the point of doing it to her to begin with?!"

Tarantulas laughed mockingly. "Oh, silly, silly Paul, you just don't get it, do you? Just because zey von't _kill_ her doesn't mean zey von't _hurt_ her. Ze struggle for domination vill ravage her body significantly and do grievous harm to her immune system. Her blood vill clot. Her heart vill falter. Her lungs vill clog up. Her muscles vill atrophy and tie into unnatural knots. Her stomach vill digest itself. She'll sveat constantly. Her bones vill crumble. Her liver vill become full of nasty bile. Her fur vill fall out in clumps. Her skin vill peel. Pus vill ooze from suppurating sores all over her body. She'll cry blood and lose control of her bowels. Disgusting growths vill form all over her body. She may even develop a cancer or two. And zat's just ze _beginning…_"

"Wait, if she gets sick, does that mean Chobin could get an STD by raping her?" Chobin asked in concern.

"Yes," Tarantulas said.

"Oh good, Chobin is loving those! They're like a gift that keeps on giving…to others! In the _ass!_" Chobin giggled in delight. Paul gave him a disgusted look.

"So you're planning to make her really, incredibly sick?" the Weavile asked, somewhat disgruntled. "She'll be really miserable and in pain, I guess, but what's the point?"

"To break her," Tarantulas said. "Vill her vill be as strong as it is now vhen her body is suffering hot flashes and rapid temperature changes and uncontrollable excretions and sheddings and all sorts of ozzer very unpleasant symptoms? And I imagine it vill be _especially_ hard to stay sane once ze hallucinatory agents kick in."

"Hmm," Paul grunted, not entirely convinced.

"If zat is not incentive enough, zen zink of zis," Tarantulas said coyly. "Vhen her body is failing on her, she vill be zat much veaker and slower to recover vhen it's _your_ turn to play viz her."

"And when Chobin rapes her good!" Chobin declared.

Paul made a small, cold smile at that. "You should have said as much in the first place, Doctor. Now I'm curious to see what will happen, too."

"As am I!" said Tarantulas. "Ve already know her body can adapt to blood from anozzer Pokemon, considering how many Sneasel-like traits she's obtained. Vill she vizzstand my drugs and germs as vell? Let's find out!"

Chobin giggled as the machine swiveled towards the Buneary and the wall of needles slowly moved towards her. She tried not to show any fear, but she couldn't help feeling a little worried. She was long used by now to pain and physical suffering, but torture by poison and disease? By sickness? That was a new experience, and not something she was looking forward to.

Even so, she did not close her eyes or struggle against her bonds or try to suck her gut in as the needles approached her. She did not want to give her captors—or Paul—the satisfaction of seeing her afraid, helpless, and at their mercy. There was no way she could escape her fate at the moment, so all she could do now was accept it, keep her spirit strong, and wait for an opening to make an escape. It would come eventually, she was sure of it; she just needed to survive long enough to take advantage of it when it came.

And so it was these thoughts in mind, and the hope that she would one day be able to deliver retribution for the torments they were going to inflict on her, that she stiffened her back with fortitude and continued glaring hatefully at the terrible trio even as the dozens of needles pierced her front and disgorged their loathsome contents into her body.

She swore that someday, she would make them suffer tenfold for every hurt they did her. In the very dark days to come, this promise would be one of the few things that kept her from utterly losing her mind.

…

Elsewhere in the building…

Two high-ranking Nihilators, a Makuhita and an Abomasnow, were chatting and having drinks in one of their quarters. Their names were not important, and neither was the fact that they had just finished raping a prisoner to death and were enjoying some fine wine even as the unfortunate Pokemon's blood pooled out on the floor nearby. What _was_ important was what they were talking about. "So, that Gardevoir we've got locked up," the Abomasnow said to his friend. "You've seen her, right?"

The Hariyama nodded. "Pictures, yeah…wow. I mean, really, wow. I've seen Gardevoirs before, but this one is just something else. I'd love to hit that. And I mean that both in the sense that I would have sex with her, and that I would beat the shit out of her. She makes me think of all those hot womons who turned me down when I asked for a date or claimed I sexually abused them in the past. None of them do that anymore…"

"I think she's too pretty, to be honest," the Abomasnow said. "It gets on my nerves and makes me feel all self-conscious and stuff." Like his friend, he had also suffered many heartbreaks at the hands of beautiful womon. Most of those womon, on the other hand, would say that he had stalked them, stole personal and intimate belongings (and hair), and tried to molest them on more than one occasion. Most of those womon were dead now. One of the perks of becoming a Nihilator was that you got to kill anyone who'd done you wrong in the past and there was very little anyone could do about it.

"So you wouldn't do her?" the Hariyama asked.

"Oh, in an instant," said the Abomasnow. "But not until after I'd messed up that pretty face of hers first. After I'd shoved my thumb into her right eye and licked off the blood as it ran down her cheek, and chewed on her tongue and lips, and bit off part of her left cheek, and ripped off one of those frilly ear things, they get on my nerves."

"And then you'd kill her," the Hariyama said.

"After I'd fucked her, yeah," the Abomasnow said. "How about you?"

"I'd smack her around first. Then strangle her. My hands are good for strangling," said the Hariyama, flexing his very large and powerful hands. "Of course, we're not allowed to touch her. In any sense."

The Abomasnow scowled. "Yeah, that bites. Why is that again?"

"To destroy the world, we need a vessel whose pure heart is as beautiful as her exterior and has been asleep or dead for a thousand years, or some Taurosshit like that," the Hariyama said. "And if she were beaten up or deflowered beforehand, she'd be unsuitable for our goal and we'd need to find some other hot maiden who's been sleeping for a thousand years to take her place."

"Yeah, that would take a while," the Abomasnow admitted. "They aren't easy to find. Most sleeping princesses have only been out for a couple hundred years tops, and are often kinda ugly, hence why they were put to sleep in the first place. Too bad, too, I wouldn't have minded being the one to unvirginate her."

"Me too," the Hariyama said wistfully.

"Oh well. Hey, she's gonna die anyway, right?" the Abomasnow asked.

The Hariyama nodded. "Yep. She can't serve as the vessel if her body's already occupied, if you know what I mean. But it can only be done at the right time and place, or else it won't work at all."

"Which would suck," said the Abomasnow.

"That's an understatement," the Hariyama agreed.

"Well, let's drink to that. To the end of the world, and all the babes we're gonna score with once we rule everything," the Abomasnow said. "Assuming there's anything left to be everything, anyway."

"Here's to that," the Hariyama agreed. They both drank. Neither of them was aware that there was a bug in the room that had been listening carefully to every word they had said.

Well, actually, they were aware, because the bug was a Venonat slave cleaning up the mess they had made when the girl they had been raping was literally torn in half from their exertions. They were not concerned about discussing classified information in front of a slave, however, because most of the laborers in the restricted areas of the Nihilator headquarters were deafened and muted so that they couldn't hear anything important or blab about it to anyone else. The slaves received orders from telepaths or the control chips planted in their brains, and suffered horribly for the slightest error or misstep.

What they _didn't_ know, however, was that this Venonat was also a student of the Teacher, and that a portion of his self had seceded away from the rest of his body—which was now basically running on automatic—to carefully observe the two conversing Nihilators. He had no idea what they were saying, but by watching them he was transmitting the images of their conversation to everyone else in the network, and a few of his fellow students could read lips, so were able to translate for everyone else.

_What do you make of all this?_ The Teacher asked Gardevoir, who was sitting as always in her palatial cell.

_I think I'm going to be sick,_ she communicated back, rather disgusted by how casually the Nihilators were talking about raping and mutilating her.

_Aside from that. What do you make of this talk of you becoming some sort of vessel?_ The Teacher pressed.

_It explains why they haven't killed me yet…but I'm not sure I understand,_ Gardevoir confessed. _What exactly do they need me to be a vessel _for?

_We know that they seek to obtain a power lurking behind the door sealed by the seven Star Badges,_ Lovrina mused. _Perhaps the only way they can use that power is by channeling it through your body?_

_I don't like the sound of that,_ Gardevoir said anxiously. _Especially since the process either kills me or requires me to do be dead to begin with!_

_Neither do I,_ the Teacher agreed. _Which is why we must increase our efforts to Furret out the rest of their plans…as well as work on _our_ plan for escape._

_I'm not doing so well on that part,_ Gardevoir said Mareepishly.

_Still better than most of us ever could,_ Lovrina replied.

_You are still new at this. You are making good progress. Each time you try it, you are able to maintain it for a little longer. Soon enough you will have mastery over it,_ the Teacher assured her. _You just need to keep working at it. Speaking of which…I believe it is time for your next lesson._

The door to Gardevoir's room slid open and a Kecleon entered the cell. "Are you ready?" the Color Swap Pokemon asked.

Gardevoir closed her eyes for a moment, concentrating on her tutor. "Yes," she told the reptile after a moment.

"Good," the Kecleon said. Then he lunged at her with a Faint Attack.

…

Elsewhere…

Bellum the wicked Froslass ice-witch swore loudly and smashed the ice crystal she had been scrying through out of frustration. Failure, nothing but failure after failure had been her only result after spending the last several days trying to find Team Aurabolt. They possessed the map that the Nihilators needed to collect the seven Star Badges, and Oblivion's Shadow would reward her greatly if she could find it. Unfortunately, the map emitted a field that made it impossible to simply lock onto magically, forcing her to manually search every square inch of Sinnorre to try and find the blasted thing and the Pokemon who were carrying it. She had thought she had been making progress, until she heard that Team Aurabolt had been located in Battlus at Giant Volcano, and one of the Nihilators' top agents, Paul Yami, had managed to retrieve the Star Badge they had been looking for there, bringing up their total Badge count to four. While this was good news for their side, it was also infuriating to Bellum, because it meant that not only had she been looking in the wrong area—she had been focusing her scrying crystal on the other side of the continent—but apparently the Rescue Team's location had been found out by sheer accident due to her rival Doctor Tarantulas _seeing them on television._ How humiliating! He had already called her several times to obnoxiously shove his triumph in her face, carefully forgetting to mention that it had actually been Oblivion's Shadow who ID'd the irritating heroes, not Tarantulas.

"Bzzbzzbzz?" Marianne asked her mother in concern.

Bellum sighed and rubbed her forehead. "No Marianne, it's nothing to worry about, I'm just feeling old and useless right now. This is ridiculous, how could that puerile arachnid find those fools by dumb luck when I've been spending nearly every waking hour searching for them?! Ugh…this is all that Squirtle's fault, I'm sure of it. I haven't felt quite at my peak ever since he hit me with the radiation from that heating device. I must remember to kill him painfully for that…assuming I can find him, that is!"

"Bzzzzzbzbzbzbzzz!" Marianne said encouragingly.

"Thank you, Marianne, that's very sweet of you. Why can't your worthless sister be as considerate as you?" Bellum said. She glanced at the shards of ice lying on the ground and sighed. "Maybe I'm going about this the wrong way. Searching the continent bit by bit won't find them, especially if they go to a part I've already searched once I'm no longer looking there! If only I could see everything all at once and process it all without going insane, but to do that I'll need more power than I have-" She snapped her fingers, causing some snowflakes to crystallize in the air. "That's it! More power! Now I know what to do…I need to recharge my magical energies and become stronger than ever, and I know just how to do it, too. Marianne, go pack your things, we're heading for Twilight's Edge! Oh, and could you let your sister out of the hole and send her to me please? It's time for her bedtime beating." The Rotom nodded and hovered out of the room.

Bellum started her own preparations for departure until, a few moments later, she sensed some kind of magical disturbance, something powerful enough to jiggle the planet's ley lines and superstrings and other mystical whatnot and cause her to collapse to the ground, gasping in surprise at how _strong_ the shockwave was as it surged through her. Her pain eased seconds later as the disturbance faded, and she managed to float back into the air, her strength returned but still feeling that something was a bit…_off_. She noted that something felt _different_ in the planetary energy fields, like something important had changed…or was missing…what could it be?

She got her answer a second later when another ice crystal in her frozen lair lit up, the visage of an old friend and colleague visible in it. "Bellum. Did you feel that?"

"Yes, what was that?" the Froslass asked, floating over to speak to her friend.

The friend grinned sinisterly. "It was caused by the breakdown of a very powerful summoning spell."

"A summoning-" Bellum gasped. "You don't mean…!"

Her friend nodded. "That's right. The Dragon God King and the Guardian of Light will pose no more threat to our plans."

Bellum cackled in delight. "Why, that's wonderful! Won't our master be pleased to hear that! However did you manage to do it?"

"What makes you think _I _had anything to do with it?" her friend said coyly.

Bellum smirked. "Uh-huh, sure. If that's the story you're going to use…What are you going to do now?"

"I plan to keep a close eye on things and make sure that the dragon gods do not regain their strength. They aren't dead, more's the pity, just depowered. I intend to keep it that way," the friend said.

"Good luck with that," Bellum said. "In the meantime, I'm off to Twilight's Edge to replenish my powers so that maybe I can find that accursed magical map."

Her friend looked thoughtful. "Twilight's Edge? So, is that where…"

Bellum smirked. "Now, now, I can't reveal _all_ my secrets, can I?" They both laughed. "Anyway, congratulations again on fulfilling your part. I'll see if I can't carry through on my end as well."

"I'm sure you will succeed eventually. Keep at it," the friend said. "I'll let you know if anything else happens over here."

They exchanged a few more pleasantries, and then Bellum's friend departed, the crystal dimming in her absence. Just in time, too. "You wanted to see me, Mother?" Lily asked quietly as she floated into the room.

"Ah, Lily, there you are," Bellum said. "I was wondering where you were." She formed an Ice Shard and slowly approached her daughter. "It's time for bed, dear. We have to leave early tomorrow, and it wouldn't do for you not to get a good night's rest before a long journey, now would it?"

"No, Mother," Lily said quietly.

"That's a good girl," Bellum said. Then she stabbed Lily. Repeatedly. And that was only the beginning of the Misdreavus's nightly torture…

…

Meanwhile, in the Mystifying Forest…

"Thank you again for the life crystal," Wabbaku said to Michael as the other Rockets prepared their balloon for departure in the clearing behind him. The rest of the Caretaker refugees had come out to see them off (and to make sure they didn't come back).

"It was no problem. Like I said before, you need it at the moment more than we do." Michael sighed. "Then again, there's a lot of _other_ things we could use right now…"

"Bemoaning cruel fate and what's absent will get nothing done," Pipi said.

"Distract yourself with sorrow and your enemy's won," Mimi said.

"I'm not entirely sure what they just said, but that _sounded_ wise," James commented.

"I think they meant that there's no use in complaining about what you don't have, so you just have to soldier on," Gardenia said.

"But I _like_ complaining about what I don't have!" Jessie whined. "Like a mansion, and jewelry, and a huge male harem, and a pool full of chocolate, and a kingdom worshipping me, and lots and lots of food, and…" The other Rockets rolled their eyes—except for Buzz, who was listening intently—as Jessie rambled on and on.

"I wish there were more we could do to help you, but we barely have enough to feed ourselves," Wabbaku said sadly. "Some of the others have even begun to think Mickey's dirt looks appetizing, considering how much he seems to enjoy it."

"You can't have it!" Mickey hissed, holding his jar away from the others. "It's mine! MINE! My precioussss!"

"Can't I have some too? I'm your precious also!" James asked hopefully.

"No! You can't have any!" Mickey snapped, purring and rubbing his jar protectively. James sniffled and tried to hold back tears.

"It looks like you don't have much time left to reverse the transformation," Michael observed. "He already seems to be possessed by a demon's greed."

"No, he's that greedy all the time," Wabbaku said. "He behaves the same way around money. And balls of yarn."

Michael sweatdropped. "Ah."

"Like I said, there isn't much we can do to help you." Wabbaku paused, getting an idea. "However…there might be something."

"What?" Michael asked, perking up.

"You are no longer able to speak to the spirits of your ancestors for guidance. I, however, am still a qualified shaman and medium," Wabbaku said. "Perhaps I could ask them for assistance on your behalf?"

"Th-that would be great! Thank you!" stammered the surprised Michael, black eyes shining with hope.

"Give me a moment." Wabbaku turned away from everyone and stared off into the distance. "Hmm…"

"Well?" Michael asked anxiously.

"What do they say, what do they say?" Gardenia asked, eagerly to hear her crush impart some wisdom from beyond.

Wabbaku turned back to Michael. "Northeast, then east again."

Michael blinked. "Huh?"

"The Forest cannot sustain you for much longer. Soon you are going to have to leave the land of your ancestors and find a new home," Wabbaku said. "They said that you should head northeast past the Amp Plains to Crystal Cave, then go straight east until you reach Treeshroud Forest. The journey will be difficult, but there will be enough food and supplies for everyone once you reach the forest. The natives will be wary to have such a large group of immigrants entering their territory, but if you convince them you only want to be good neighbors you shouldn't have any problems with them."

There were cries of joy and relief from the crowd. "Th-thank you!" Michael cried, tearing up a little. "Thank you so much! You have no idea what that means to us…"

Wabbaku smiled. "I have some idea, actually."

"Did-did they say anything else?" Michael asked.

Wabbaku hesitated for a moment, and then nodded. "They said that they know you are doing the best job you can under the circumstances, and have their support, for what it's worth. They do not know if you will ever be able to speak to them again, but, regardless…they will always be with you, even if you cannot hear their voices."

"…I see. Thank you," Michael said quietly, a look of relief passing over his face. "So they haven't abandoned me…they don't think I'm a failure?"

"Not that I could tell," Wabbaku said.

Michael nodded. "Right…thank you again. I promise I'll do my best to keep making them proud of me."

"I—and they—have the utmost faith in you," Wabbaku assured him. He glanced at the balloon, seeing it was almost ready. "But now I must be off. Good luck in your travels, last of the Protectors. Should our paths cross again, I hope to find you in better fortunes."

"As do I," Michael said.

"Parting is such sweet sorrow," Pipi said.

"Yet a promise to meet on the morrow," Mimi said.

"Well said," Wabbaku said with a nod. "Be sure to heed their words, Michael. I doubt they will steer you wrong."

Michael smirked. "I always have."

They said the last of their goodbyes, and soon enough, the balloon was back in the air, leaving the Mystifying Forest and the land of the Caretakers behind it. "That was a nice fib you told the Leafeon," Jessie said out of the blue.

Wabbaku blinked. "Hmm?"

"That bit about his spirits still giving a crap about him. It was a good touch. Made him feel better. That was what you were trying to do, right? Give him some hope and comfort so he'd feel like his future wasn't going to be as shitty as his present?" Jessie asked.

Wabbaku gave her an angry look. "Jessie, I would never lie to who one who have heard the voices of the spirits as I have about something as important as that. His ancestors not only continue to watch over and protect him, but forgive him for his mistakes and will do their best to make sure he and his people have a bright future."

Jessie gave him a startled look. "Wh-what? You mean you weren't making that up?!"

"Of course not!" Wabbaku snapped. "Why would you even think something like that?"

"Yeah, why would you think something like that?" Gardenia asked.

"I-I just…I don't understand. Why would they continue helping him if he's already let them down so badly by allowing that Tree they seemed so obsessed about to be destroyed?" the confused Jessie asked.

"Because they are his family," Wabbaku said firmly. "That's what family does."

James nodded in agreement. "Just like the Boss tolerates me and Mickey's relationship and hasn't fired us despite all of our colossal screw-ups and the money we've lost him! That's a benefit of nepotism, right Mickey?"

"Yeah, what you said," Mickey mumbled through clumps of dirt as he stuffed his face with the contents of his jar.

"Oh," Jessie said faintly. "I see." She turned away and, so quietly that only Buzz heard it, whispered, "I wish my family were as forgiving…"

"So, where do we find the next ingredient for Mickey's cure?" James asked Wabbaku.

The shaman consulted his spirits briefly. "We must obtain some rare moss which only grows on gravestones in places where the sun never rises," he said after a moment. "And there is only one place in Sinnorre that matches that criteria…the town of Twilight's Edge, located near Dusk Forest…the land of eternal darkness."

…

Meanwhile, in Pokemon Square…

"Wow," Raiki said as Sabrina lowered her energy shield. "That was quite an explosion."

"Well, it could have been worse," Latios said optimistically.

Sabrina gave him an incredulous look and pointed to the gaping hole in the ceiling, the debris and broken pillars lying all over the place, the defaced tablet listing Arceus's laws, and the severed head of the Arceus statue imbedded in the wall nearby. "How?!"

"We could all be dead," Latios said brightly.

"He has a point," Raiki said.

"What's so bad about being dead?" Nuken asked.

"Er, no comment," said Raiki.

The dust from the explosion cleared, giving them a better assessment of how much damage had been done to the temple. Raiki winced, knowing that Father Yamiri was not going to be too pleased to see how badly his home had been damaged. It looked even worse off than it had been when the priest had first come to Pokemon Square…not that Raiki had been around for that, of course. It had been hundreds of years ago.

Latios rushed over to the spell circle in the middle of the room, which had been pretty much annihilated and was now a scorch mark permanently blackening the floor, and lifted the head of his transformed sister, who wasn't moving but otherwise looked unhurt. "Sis! Latias! Wake up!" He shook her anxiously. "Why isn't she responding to me?!"

"Because she's unconscious?" Raiki suggested.

"Ah," Latios said, flushing in embarrassment. "That could be it."

"My liege?" Nuken called, floating around the room. "My liege? Where are you?"

"Rayquaza does not appear to be here," Sabrina noted. "I do not see—or sense—his body anywhere here."

"I thought I saw him blast through the ceiling or something," Raiki said. "Not sure why he flew away, though…"

Sabrina frowned. "I'm not sure that was Rayquaza…"

Aaron, who was lying near Latias, groaned and began to regain consciousness. "Aaron!" Raiki cried, rushing over to his friend. "Are you all right?"

"Ugh…what happened?" the Lucario grunted.

"That's something we were hoping you could tell us," Sabrina said. "Something went wrong with the spell, and you were in the middle of it. You looked like you were in pain, and your Aura changed color, as did the spell's energy. Everything exploded shortly thereafter. Do you remember any of that?"

Aaron frowned and rubbed his forehead. "I…think so. I'm not sure what happened…one minute I was in control of my power, and then all of a sudden…everything broke loose." He shook his head. "I'm sorry, that's all I can tell you. Something didn't _feel_ right…and then…" He glanced down at his staff, and sighed in relief when he saw its crystal was unbroken. "At least this came out of it all right."

"Too bad the rest of the temple was trashed, the holy relics were destroyed, Latias is out cold, and Rayquaza is MIA," Raiki said. "But thank goodness that your staff is okay!"

Aaron frowned. "The sarcasm is unnecessary."

"Who's being sarcastic?" Raiki asked. Aaron sweatdropped.

Sabrina scanned the room to try and see if she could get any other clues as to what had gone wrong. She was relieved to sense that the priests were fine, though knocked out, but were slowly recovering. Similarly, Latias seemed all right for the most part, other than her unconsciousness, increased power levels, and some strange brain activity…and…

She frowned. "It looks like not everyone got out in time…" She pointed to a Bagon lying against a wall nearby. "The poor child must have been caught in the explosion."

"Is he all right?" Raiki asked. "Funny, he doesn't look like any Bagon kid I've seen in town before…"

Aaron frowned. "Neither have I…and yet…something is oddly familiar with his Aura…"

Nuken started. "A Bagon?! Oh no…no, no, no, no…this is not good…this is _very_ not good!" They gave him puzzled looks.

The Bagon groaned, stirred, and weakly opened his eyes. "Ohhh…my head…"

"You all right, kiddo?" Raiki asked, he and the others gathering around the Rock Head.

"He doesn't appear to be unharmed," Aaron noted, again wondering why his Aura seemed familiar even though he was pretty sure he'd never seen the dragon before. "That thick head of his probably shielded him from the brunt of the explosion."

"Guess it can't hurt to have a hard head, huh?" Raiki joked.

The Bagon blinked at them in confusion. "Huh? What the…I'm all right, but…Latias, how is she? And…why are all of you so big?"

"Latias is fine, though unconscious," Sabrina said, deciding not to mention the odd brainwaves she'd detected. She wondered why the dragon was so concerned for her. It's not like they even knew each other, right?

"And of course we're bigger than you, we're grown-ups!" Raiki joked.

The Bagon's confusion deepened. "What? What does that have to do with…" He paused, and then glanced down at his body. His eyes widened in horror. "Oh no…"

"My liege!" Nuken shoved past the other three and anxiously hovered over the Bagon. "My liege! Are you unharmed!"

The Bagon looked up at the Shedinja, a terrified look on his face. "N-Nuken?! What's happened to me?!"

"…I am uncertain, Your Majesty," Nuken said uneasily. "This…this should not have happened. I do not understand…the process was supposed to have been permanent!"

"Uh, what are you guys talking about?" asked a confused Raiki. "And why are you calling the kid your boss? I thought Rayquaza was your master."

Sabrina gasped, suddenly realizing the truth. "No…it can't be…"

"You…are Rayquaza?!" Aaron cried in disbelief as he came to the same conclusion, suddenly realizing why the Bagon's Aura had looked familiar. It was almost exactly the same as Rayquaza's!

The Bagon put his face in his hands. "No, no, no…this can't be happening!"

"He is and he is not Rayquaza," Nuken said unhappily.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Raiki demanded.

The Shedinja sighed. "I had hoped this secret would never see the light of day, but…this Bagon is Rayquaza. Or rather, he has been acting as Rayquaza for the last few hundred years. The original Rayquaza, ruler of the skies and avatar of the Dragon God King…has actually been dead for centuries. The boy…is his replacement."

…

Meanwhile, off the coast of Chicole Town…

"Boy, it sure was nice of the Mayor to give us ten thousand Poke' each as a bribe to keep our mouths shut about his scam and to make sure we never come back to Chicole Town ever again, wasn't it?" Gary asked as they sailed away from the village.

"Yeah, and also refreshing to know that all the warriors who vanished after confronting Hissssa were actually just paid to go undercover for a while until everyone forgot they were supposed to be dead or went on lengthy vacations around the world, like the missing Mirage Kingdom soldiers," Mary said. "Aren't you glad to know that they're still alive, Maren?" Maren, who was manning the wheel, stared straight ahead. "Maren? I said, aren't you glad-"

"Oh yes, I'm ever so happy they're still alive," Maren said sarcastically. "_Happy_ they decided to abandon their duty to their Kingdom and go on some fancy trip rather than continue the search for Princess Sara or at the very least expose the Mayor of Chicole Town for the fraud that he was!"

"Oh come on, he's only deceiving people for a good cause," Gary pointed out. "Namely, getting his kids into college."

"And probably skiving some cash off the top both to renovate the town and make himself a very wealthy mon," Mary said.

"Well, yes, but that goes without saying," Gary agreed.

"And I can't believe that you went along with it!" Maren yelled at them. "No, wait, I _can_ believe it! The lot of you are nothing but greedy, selfish, opportunistic money-grubbing golddiggers! What kind of Rescue Team are you?! We'd have been better off with anyone, absolutely _anyone_ but you three!"

"Hey now, that's not fair," Gary protested. "We're _much _more effective than most of the other teams! Like, say, Team Tasty, what with Wormy constantly being afraid that his partner's going to eat him. We actually have some long-running bets as to when and if that'll happen…"

"We may not be the most heroic team, but we're still getting the job done," Mary said. "We've found two Compass pieces so far, haven't we?"

"Yes, and you did such a _wonderful_ job with that, too!" Maren snapped. "You KILLED an innocent Pokemon you dragged along for sociopathic comedy to get the first one, and accepted a bribe and allowed a scam that's cheating tourists out of thousands of Poke' to get the second one! I wonder how you'll top this with the third. Destroy an entire country? Burn down a forest? Assassinate a government official? Rob a bank?!"

"That last one actually sounds pretty feasible," Gary said. Maren cried in exasperation and banged her head against the ship's wheel.

Deciding to ignore Maren's moralistic hissy fit, Mary went to check on Evan, who was staring longingly back in the direction of Chicole Town. "There'll be other snakes in the grass, Evan," Mary said encouragingly, correctly guessing that the Ekans was upset about his rather hurried separation from Hissssa.

Evan sighed despondently. "None of them will have two headsss, though…" He glanced at Mary. "Hey, you aren't throwing up. Are you finally over your ssseasssicknesss, then?" Mary's eyes widened in horror, and her face turned green. She quickly shoved past Evan and threw up over the side of the boat. He sweatdropped. "Guesss not."

"So, what's our next stop again?" Gary asked.

Maren sighed and grudgingly indulged him. "Olive Jungle, located on the island of Summerland to the south of here."

Gary frowned. "Huh. Sure seems like a lot of the Compass Pieces are on islands or the outskirts of Almiore. When're we going to head inland?"

"Pueltown, Chroma Ruins, and Altru Tower are all located on the continent proper," Maren reminded him. "So we'll go there after we check out the Jungle."

"Right, right," Gary said. "And one of those places is the Berry King's hideout. Probably Altru Tower. Why don't we just head right there and skip all the other stuff?"

"Because we don't _know _Altru Tower is where he lives, though I admit it's likely. It's possible he could be in one of the other places too," Maren said. "Additionally, those other locations have Compass fragments, so it can't hurt to pick them up too."

"Yeah…just imagine all the loot we'll be able to find once we complete that thing!" Gary said eagerly.

"You can't keep the Compass, you know," Maren reminded him. "It's a national treasure of the Mirage Kingdom. But if it's money you want—and I know it is—you'll still be handsomely rewarded for saving the Princess."

"I guess that'll suffice," Gary said. "So…onward, to Olive Jungle!" In the background, they could hear Mary throwing up some more. "And the sooner the better, I don't relish the thought of another long sea voyage with her vomiting all the time."

"I hate boats…" Mary groaned, sagging against the railing.

"I misss Hissssssa," Evan hissed.

They both sighed despondently. Gary and Mary sweatdropped.

…

Meanwhile, back in a cave near Chicole Town…

"What do you mean you're leaving?!" the Mayor of Chicole Town asked incredulously.

Hissssa answered the Mayor with one head while the other one swallowed the contents of their collection of shiny things. "I'm really sssorry about thisss…I know we had an agreement and all…but ever sssince that sssexy Ekansss left, I jussst haven't felt the sssame! I think I'm in love…ssso I'm going to go after him and make him my mate! You'll jussst have to handle thingsss without me."

The Mayor gaped. "What?! You can't be in love!"

"Why not?" Hissssa asked. "Giant two-headed sssnakesss have feelingsss too."

"Well, yes, but…but if you leave…then what'm I supposed to do?! Tourists won't come by anymore if we don't have a giant monster attacking every now and then, and while I could possibly get another one here, I doubt it'd be as friendly as you are!" the Mayor protested. "The town's economy will dry up again! And I won't be able to make all the payments on my new house…"

Hissssa shrugged apologetically. "I really _am_ sssorry…but thisss isssn't sssomething I can jussst ignore! True love waitsss for no womon, after all, ssso I've got to go sssnatch that sssweet little thing up before sssome other husssy ssshowsss sssome coil and makesss him hersss! Girlsss probably throw themssselvesss at him all the time…"

Jerry sweatdropped. "I think you're overestimating things a bit…"

"Well, I don't care! I'm leaving to ssseek romance, and that'sss that!" Hissssa said firmly. "With any luck, the next time you sssee me, I'll be married!"

"Aren't you taking things a little fast here?" the Mayor asked desperately. "I mean, you barely know the guy! You just met him a few hours ago!"

Hissssa sighed. "He'sss the firssst mon I've ever met who ssseemed interesssted in me for me. There aren't a lot of guysss out there who find a girl like me attractive. So when sssomeone like that appearsss in my life, I need to ssseize opportunity—and him—and wrap my coilsss around him and never let him go! It may be a bit sssudden, yesss, but I might never find another mon like him, ssso I need to pursssue him while I ssstill can!"

The other head finished consuming their collection, which was now visible as several large bulges in her midsection. "All ssset!" she said.

"Good. Then let'sss roll out!" the first head said. They locked jaws around each other's necks to form a hoop and rolled on out of the cave, leaving Jerry and the Mayor behind.

"Wait! Wait! No, don't go!" the Mayor wailed as Hissssa vanished. He sagged in despair.

Jerry sighed. "Well, that's a bit of a bummer…but you can't stop true love, Dad. And besides, at least there's still enough cash to get me into college, right?"

"That may be so, but you'll be one of the last ones to make it in!" the Mayor groaned. "With Hissssa gone, the tourists will stop coming to town, and the pool of money we've made from them will be gone before you're even done with your first semester! We'll never be able to afford tuition for any future mons, let alone pay for all the other expenses we've been racking up! Chicole Town is doomed…" He growled angrily and smashed the shell on his staff against the ground. "And it's all that stupid snake's fault!"

"Dad, Hissssa couldn't help who she fell in love with," Jerry said.

"Who's talking about Hissssa? I meant that idiot Evan!" the Mayor howled. "If he had never come here, Hissssa would never have fallen for him and just abandoned us like this! No, scratch that, it's not just Evan's fault…it's all of his stupid Rescue Team's! If those imbeciles had just listened to me when I warned them to stay away, or if they had never come here in the first place, this would never have happened! It's all THEIR fault! Thanks to them, our town is _ruined!_ If I ever see them again I'll…I'll…" His face turned red, his whole body trembling with fury.

"Dad, careful, watch your blood pressure," Jerry said anxiously. Suddenly, all the lights in the cave went off, plunging the chamber into darkness. "Wh-what the-" Abruptly, an enormous flame roared to life before them. One by one, eight smaller embers appeared and began rotating and writhing around the central flame. The two cherry Pokemon scrambled backwards in alarm. "Whoa!"

"What is this?!" the Mayor cried.

"Do you…want vengeance?" the flame whispered in a demonic voice.

"Huh?" said the confused Jerry.

"What do you mean?" asked the Mayor.

The flames coalesced, revealing themselves to be a huge flaming demon Octillery. "I am Gooey, the seeker of vengeance. Do you want revenge?"

The Mayor blinked. "Revenge…you mean against Team Nightshade?"

"Dad, should we be talking to this guy?" Jerry asked uneasily.

"Your power is fake. Do you think you can defeat them with it?" Gooey asked.

"No…I can't! How can I become strong enough to destroy them?!" the Mayor demanded.

"Dad, wait! Stop!" Jerry cried.

"A fake body. A fake awakening. It is useless! I will give you the power!" Gooey roared. One of his eight tentacles lifted. "My tendril is the fist of the Abyss." The tentacle unfurled. "Blossom, o fallen seed, and draw upon thy hidden powers!" He pointed the tentacle at the Mayor. "Grant unto thee the power of the glorious Ruler of Evil!"

"Yes! Give me the power!" the Mayor screamed.

"Dad, NO!" Jerry yelled.

It was too late. The tentacle shot forward, touching the Mayor on the forehead. In a horrific shriek, the Cherrim burst into flames. "DAD!" Jerry screamed.

"It is done…" Gooey whispered as the flames subsided. Much to Jerry's horror, his father was still alive…but _changed._ His yellow skin had become as black as the Abyss. His pink petal 'skirt' and hair was now tattered and burnt and the color of blood. His mustache was made of fire. His eyes were glowing red with evil. Monstrous fangs and tusks grew from his mouth. The berry orbs on his head had transformed into horns. "Arise, my brother…Sakurai, the Blossom of Destruction!"

"The power…" the newly dubbed Sakurai whispered. "The POWERRRRRR!"

"Oh no…" Jerry gasped.

"Let us go, my brother," Gooey said. "Team Nightshade awaits."

"Revenge…REVENGE!" Sakurai roared.

There was a burst of flame, and both of them disappeared. The lights flickered back on. Jerry, now all alone, stared in disbelief at the spot where his father had just vanished. "Dad…" the Cherubi whispered tearfully. "How'm I supposed to start college with _this _hanging over my head?!" He paused, then glanced at the Rescue Team badge pinned to his second 'head,' the badge that marked him as an honorary member of Team Nightshade. He stared at it for a long moment, deep in thought. Then he nodded, making his decision. _Those guys may not be the best of Pokemon, but they don't deserve to be killed at the hands of my dad and that Octillery-thing! I have to do something to stop them…it's the right thing to do!_ He started running towards the cave's exit. _Maybe I can catch up to Hissssa…once she hears what's up; she'll definitely want to help me, if only to save Evan! And together, we just might have a chance at saving Team Nightshade!_

…

Meanwhile, inside of Sasha's head…

"Interesting. And you say that this entity has tried a few other times to contact you, with little success?" Sasha's master asked her, his blue eye lost in thought.

Sasha nodded. "It may have tried more often than that, but if I was awake, I doubt I would have noticed."

"Hrmm…I do not like this," Sasha's master growled. "I am supposed to be the only one who can speak to you in this way…who else could gain access to your mind? And how?"

"I was hoping you could tell me that," Sasha confessed.

"Most curious…I must look into this," her master said. "And how goes your mission?"

"I was forced to tell them that my intentions for joining them were not quite as altruistic as I had originally implied," Sasha admitted uneasily.

Her master's eye flared with rage. "WHAT?!"

"I did not reveal your identity or your reasons for sending me to join them!" she said quickly. "That wasn't especially difficult, since I myself do not know why you sent me."

"Hmm," her master mused, calming down. "This is irksome…I did not want my involvement to be revealed so soon. Let's try and keep my part in this a secret for as long as possible, I do not wish for certain…others to know what I am up to. The consequences could be disastrous."

"I will do my best to fulfill your wishes," Sasha said loyally.

"Very good. And as for-" He paused. "Do you feel that?"

Sasha gasped, the astral space around them _shifting_ ever so slightly. "Yes! The being…it is trying to contact me again!"

"Good. Maybe now we can get some answers…" her master growled.

The telltale flickering of Sasha's mysterious visitor appeared, stronger and brighter than ever before, but still quite faint and ephemeral. If Sasha squinted she thought she could just make out a figure, but…it was really hard to tell. "I…Team Aurabolt…Nihilators…save…Ash…"

Sasha frowned. "The Nihilators! What do you have to do with them?! And what does Ash need to be saved from?"

"And how are you trespassing in this place?!" her master boomed. "She is _my_ servant! Her subconscious is my domain! Who are you that dares enter this place uninvited?!"

There was a yelp, and abruptly the light vanished. They waited for a moment, but it did not return. "I think you scared it off," Sasha said.

"Sorry," her master apologized. "I suppose I came on a bit too strong."

"Do you suppose it will come back?" Sasha asked.

"If it does, let me know," her master told her. "And try and coax some more out of it, if at all possible. From what I've seen so far, our intruder either has no idea what they're doing or is very far away. Possibly both."

"How 'far' are we talking about here?" Sasha asked.

"_Very_ far away. As in, potentially not even on this planet," her master said.

"Oh dear," Sasha said. "I can't imagine Leo will be pleased if he hears that aliens have been speaking to me. That seems to be the sort of thing he wishes would happen to him."

"A strange boy, that Squirtle…" her master murmured.

"Dependable, though," Sasha said. "And intelligent in his own way."

"And also kind of weird," her master said. Sasha shrugged. "In any event, I have no further orders for you. Just keep on doing what you're doing."

"Very well. But…" Sasha paused. "What exactly _am_ I doing? You ordered me to join Team Aurabolt, but I still do not understand why. What am I doing here?"

Her master chuckled and closed his eye, leaving her in darkness. "Why, saving the world, of course. What did you think you were doing?"

…

Meanwhile, inside Mt. Blaze…

The interior of the mountain was scorching hot. Since it was a volcano, and home to an enormous army of Fire Pokemon, that was to be expected. The majority of the barbarian horde who occupied the fiery mountain was fine with the heat. The Pokemon who didn't have the good fortune to be Fire-types, on the other hand, weren't quite so lucky.

Chestnut the Mankey was one such unlucky Pokemon. As a Normal-type Pokemon from the forests, he was not particularly used to the high temperatures of Mt. Blaze. It didn't help that he was covered in fur and had to constantly go around in full armor, which weighed quite a lot and made him feel even hotter, his entire body constantly drenched with sweat. He daren't complain about his burden, however, lest he be killed or made into a slave for his show of weakness. Only the strongest were allowed to survive in the army of the Monkey King, and one of the best ways to prove you were strong was by going around all day in full armor and fur without collapsing from heat sickness and dehydration. (Naturally, at least a dozen Pokemon dropped dead a week.)

Huffing and puffing under the weight of his mail, Chestnut finished climbing up the rather long staircase leading up to the Monkey King's throne room and paused on the landing to pant for breath and take a drink from a flask on his hip before approaching the big doors up ahead, guarded by a pair of immense armored Typhlosion. Flames blazed to life on their backs as he approached, and the Mankey started feeling a bit dizzy due to the sudden increase in temperature. "What business have you here?" one of them snarled.

"I have important news from our scouts near Pokemon Square," Chestnut said, trying not to wheeze too much. "The King'll want to hear it."

"Wait a moment," the second Typhlosion said, pulling open the doors and slipping inside.

His partner closed it quickly and glared at Chestnut, warning the monkey not to get any ideas. "If you come here on false pretenses, or deliver news the King does not wish to hear, you will be incinerated on the spot," the Typhlosion warned Chestnut.

"I know, I know," the Mankey said with a weary sigh.

The other Typhlosion came back out. "You may enter. Try not to take too long, the King will be having dinner shortly, and if he's delayed too long from his meal, he may decide to eat you as an appetizer." Chestnut gulped and nodded to show his understanding. The Typhlosions pulled the door open and stepped out of the way. Chestnut hurried in, trying not to make it look like he was running away from them out of fear, which he was. The doors slammed shut with an ominous tone of finality behind him, leaving him in the throne room of the Monkey King.

The throne room was a fair-sized chamber lit by torches and magma flows oozing down the walls and pooling here and there on the floor. Crimson flame-shaped banners hung from the walls along with the severed heads and skulls of various warlords and foes the Monkey King had defeated in battle or Pokemon whom the King had taken particular pleasure in killing. A few spiked cages dangled from the ceiling here and there over lava pits, with emaciated and dying prisoners languishing in them. The King himself was sitting in a great stone throne at the back of the room atop a bone-encrusted dais, but rather than gaze upon the King directly—such an honor was forbidden to a lowly soldier like himself—Chestnut focused his eyes on the ground before him, a good idea since he didn't want to trip over any of the rocks or bones littering the floor and fall into one of the lava pools. There was also a…a _thing_, almost too wretched and filthy to be thought of as a Pokemon chained to the wall in a corner near the King's throne, the flesh hanging from its bones, its limbs twisted and broken, the stumps where its wings had once been swollen with infection, and a mad look in its eyes, as if whatever kernel of sentience it had once possessed had been all but driven from it. Chestnut didn't look at the creature, either. Not because it was taboo, but because it terrified him.

"Approach," the King grated in a deep baritone. Eyes on the floor, Chestnut quickly scampered forwards, automatically halting a few feet away from the base of the dais and kneeling to the ground. "What is your report?"

"News from our scouts, Your Majesty," Chestnut said. "The legendary dragons Latias, Latios, and Rayquaza have been sighted landing in Pokemon Square."

The thing in the corner's eyes shot open when it heard the name of that loathsome town, the last lingering trace of that disgusting unnatural pollution that arrogantly called itself 'civilization' remaining on the continent, and with a roar it surged to its feet and lunged forward, bellowing and rattling its chains with such a clamor that it rung throughout the bowels of the mountain. Chestnut stiffened, quickly reminding himself that the chains were made of some of the strongest metal in the land and there was no way the beast could break them, since if it could have escaped it would have done so long ago, and there was really no reason for why he should have just wet himself.

Without even glancing in the thing's direction, the King raised an arm, pointed his hand at the beast, and hurled a fireball. The flaming orb smashed into the creature and exploded, flinging it against the wall and further exacerbating its wounds and brokenlimbs. Its scabbed-over wing stumps cracked open, blood and pus oozing from them. It shuddered in pain, tried to stagger back to its feet, then collapsed to the floor and lay still. "Is that all?"

"Y-yes, Your Majesty. That's all. For now, anyway," Chestnut stammered.

"Very well. Begone," the King said. Chestnut bowed and eagerly retreated from the room. "So…the dragon god has chosen to ally himself with those weaklings, has he? Hmmph…he always has been far too tolerant of such a perversion of nature as that place than a true deity should be. No matter. After all…" He grinned and placed a hand on the pulsating crimson sphere resting on the arm of his throne. Its glow increased as he stroked it, and the whole mountain trembled ever so slightly as something stirred deep in its bowels. "They are not the only ones with a god on their side…"

…

Somewhere else entirely…

"Restoration at one hundred percent. Molecular recompilation completed."

There was a hiss of steam and the bizarre contraption opened up, its contents pouring out onto the floor in a large puddle of blue liquid. A moment passed, and then the liquid slowly began to converge on itself and grow upwards, solidifying and taking on the shape of a four-legged Pokemon with a neck frill and a fish tail. "Uhhh…" The Pokemon took a step forward and nearly collapsed, its legs wobbling beneath its weight. It grimaced, closed its eyes, and shook its head, trying to regain its bearings. "What…what happened? Where…" It opened its eyes again and looked around. "Where am I?"

The Pokemon (who, of course, was Misty Waterflower), found herself in a strange chamber comprised completely out of glowing multifaceted crystal, with cables made of metal and crystal and what looked like orange and blue organic tissue literally growing from the walls and connecting to the strange machine she had just exited. As Misty stared at it uncomprehendingly, there was a pain in her head and she suddenly knew it was an incredibly advanced molecular reconfiguration device designed to collect particles of matter and energy from all over the Omniverse and reassemble them to recreate objects that had been scattered across space and time. What Misty did not know was _how _she knew this, or how she knew the molecular composition and chemical makeup of the crystal around her, or how she was able to tell that it was actually a living thing just by observing the patterns of light that flickered rapidly beneath its surface.

Her attention was diverted from the living room when a part of the wall opened up. It didn't iris open or slide away so much as fold inwards, the facets of the crystals collapsing backwards upon themselves to create a circular portal. Misty found herself understanding at once how such a thing was possible, though again she didn't know how she knew. What looked at first to be a ball of light but on closer examination was actually a swirling matrix of numbers and mathematical symbols floated through the opening and hovered before her. The numbers flashed across the matrix's surface in unimaginably complicated formulae and equations that Misty found herself subconsciously deciphering with an ease that disturbed her, since she had never been good at math. The matrix abruptly shimmered and reconfigured itself, the glowing symbols making up its structure reorganizing themselves and taking on the form of a tall, beautiful, and clearly female humanoid that reminded Misty somewhat of Gardevoir, though with longer hair and pointed elfin ears rather than fins, and was constantly shimmering and changing colors as she stared at it. "Greetings," the being said as numbers continued moving and changing across its form. "My name is Algebrea. I am-"

"An Algorithmic Datafairy, a creature made of living mathematical formulae indigenous to the info-planets of the Mathematica system, until it was destroyed three hundred and fifty seven years ago when someone misplaced a decimal point and incorrectly calculated a vital equation, resulting in near-total annihilation," Misty rattled off automatically. She blinked in surprised. "How did I know that?"

Algebrea smiled. "Very good! Can you tell me what the thousand billionth digit of pi is?"

"One," Misty said. She blinked again. "Wait, what-"

"What is the primary export of Algernon-7?" Algebrea pressed.

"Flowers unlike any other found in its galaxy, due to their unique—now, hold on a minute!" Misty snapped. "What is going on here?! How did I get here, and how…how do I know all these things?!"

"What is the last thing you remember before your awakening?" Algebrea asked.

"The last thing I remember?" Misty stiffened, memories returning to her. "Tarantulas!"

Algebrea nodded. "You were in a dangerous experiment to expand your consciousness past your physical form to observe events elsewhere in the Omniverse. Such a method is often used by the Guardians and some of the most advanced civilizations in the Omniverse to keep abreast of everything that goes on elsewhere, but it is not recommended for common practice due to the risk of dissolution of self and becoming one—at least until someone can pull your essence back together—with all creation. The scientist in charge of your experiment, Doctor Tarantulas lacked ethics or morality so had no problem with pushing you to the point of dissolution…however, in doing so, he also inadvertently freed you from his clutches."

"What do you mean?" Misty asked.

"As a Vaporeon, you possess total control over your molecular structure, which is how you can transform into liquid yet still maintain some degree of cohesion and sense of self without melting away into nothingness or becoming lost in larger bodies of water," Algebrea explained. "As a result, you were a perfect subject for his experiment since your everyday experience with having your mind scattered among myriad different points would allow you to go farther than his past subjects in exploring the most distant reaches of the Omniverse. However, your almost one-to-one mind-to-body ratio had an unexpected effect when you finally reached your own limit; when your expanded mind finally came apart and was scattered throughout reality…"

"So was my body, due to the way my consciousness and molecules are connected!" Misty instantly realized. "But…then how did I get here? Where is here, anyway? And…" She frowned. "How did you know about all that? Were you looking at my memories?!"

"I wasn't, but others were," Algebrea said apologetically. "I am sorry if it was an invasion of privacy, but it was an unavoidable consequence of the reintegration process. When we detected your dispersion and noticed that neither the Guardians or any of the other agencies responsible for catching and reassembling scattered minds like yourself were doing anything to save you—indeed, it did not appear as if they were even aware of your existence, possibly due to whatever technology Tarantulas used in his projection machine—we took it upon ourselves to gather up your fragments and piece them back together. And it worked, otherwise you would not be standing here before me!"

"I…I see. Thank you," said the amazed and grateful Misty. "But…that must have taken a lot of effort, to find every one of my molecules and put them all back together! I'm happy you saved me, but…why would you go to such difficulty for one person?"

Algebrea smiled. "Why would we not? Helping those in need is what we do, much like the Rescue Teams you are familiar with, albeit on a larger scale. Besides, you fascinated us. Do you have any idea how much you have been changed by what happened to you?"

Misty blinked. "What do you mean?"

"Haven't you noticed how you now know many things you did not before?" Algebrea asked. "Usually, when people's consciousnesses are scattered across the Omniverse, all they have to show for it when they are returned to themselves is a rather 'trippy' experience. You, on the other hand, were _physically_ scattered without dying, something that has never happened before, at least not that I know of! Every bit of you was dispersed to the farthest corners of the Omniverse! For a brief time, you _were_ the Omniverse, or a part of it, anyway! Your molecules were bathed in cosmic energy and absorbed the knowledge of the stars, encoding vast stores of information into your very DNA. You have become a walking repository of knowledge…a library on four legs! As a being made of pure information myself, I find myself somewhat envious. You contain more wisdom in a single drop of water than all the data I will ever possess in my sphere."

"All of that is inside of me?!" asked an incredulous Misty. "But-but I don't _feel_ any smarter! I mean, I didn't even know any of that stuff from before until…I don't know, it just _came_ to me."

"We already transcribed your information into our databanks while we were in the process of reconstructing you, but at the moment you will only be able to access it through situational triggers based on context," Algebrea said. "We can help you learn how to use it whenever you please, however."

"Thanks, but right now what I'd really like to do is get home," Misty said, suddenly remembering her full situation prior to her arrival in this place. "I need to save Gardevoir and stop those Nihilator guys from hurting my friends or destroying the world!" _And make them pay for what they did to me…_ she thought angrily to herself.

"We can help you with that, too," Algebrea assured her. "We saw the villainy of these Nihilators in your memory, and the threat that they pose to your world and potentially others. Now that we are aware of their existence, we will do everything we can to help take them down."

"Really? Thanks!" Misty said, again surprised by the generosity of her hosts. It was almost enough to be suspicious of them. Just who were these guys anyway? "Just who are you guys, anyway?" She gasped, a thought suddenly occurring to her. "Unless…are you…the Guardians?!"

Algebrea laughed, causing Misty to sag in disappointment. "I'm afraid not. We are neither members of the Guardians, nor are we part of any of their front groups or subsidiary organizations. We're in the same line of work—helping people and maintaining order—but we generally don't work together, usually due to disagreements on the best way to do our job. The Guardians opt for a subtler, long-term method, except in circumstances that require immediate, direct action. We're more hands-on and proactive. That doesn't mean we believe each other's way is wrong, we both just prefer to do things differently."

"Oh," Misty said. "So…if you aren't the Guardians, who _are_ you guys then?"

"I think it would be better if I showed you," Algebrea said. She changed back into her original spherical form. "Follow me." She flew out of the room. Seeing no better option, Misty followed her.

She stepped out of the chamber where she had awakened and found herself standing inside a giant bubble—the part of her that represented the amassed knowledge of the cosmos immediately identified it as a level-12 force field construct utilized for transportation—affixed to the wall of a huge tunnel that looked to be equal parts crystal and more of that orange and blue organic material she had seen attached to the machine that had recombined her. As she looked around in wonder, she saw similar bubbles flying past at high speeds, going to or from other openings in the wall and dropping off or picking up passengers. The life-forms riding the bubbles varied to an almost ridiculous extent in shape and color and body type, but even so none of them were unfamiliar to Misty, her enhanced brain identifying all of them on sight. Interestingly enough, the majority of the species she saw moving about appeared to be representatives of planets that no longer existed. The opening in the wall closed behind her, and the bubble abruptly detached from the wall and floated into the tunnel proper, joining a stream of traffic heading off to…somewhere. "This is like a blood vessel!" she said in amazement. _Or like an insect hive…_ A chill ran down her spine as she processed that statement, and her extra knowledge unhelpfully called up examples of hive-cities built by numerous races of enormous and utterly horrific insectoid species from all over the Omniverse for reference.

"That's actually a fairly apt analogy," Algebrea commented, assuming her humanoid form again. "In many ways, you could say we're inside a giant living thing."

_Not a hive, then,_ Misty thought in relief. "It must be huge!"

Algebrea laughed. "You have no idea!"

"Where are we going?" Misty asked.

"You'll see," the Datafairy said cryptically. "You'll get a better understanding of what exactly we are if I show you some visual aids. Plus, our leader wanted to see you after you were awakened. That's why I'm here—to bring you to him. Where we're going just happens to be on our way."

"I see," Misty said. She continued staring at the aliens and other creatures they passed as they zipped through the tunnel, their species name, habitat, culture and technology and other relevant information flashing through her head with each new being she saw. There had to be millions, if not billions, of different species in this place. She probably would have been overcome by sensory overload and culture shock a while ago were it not for apparently having been transformed into some kind of walking encyclopedia. She wasn't sure how she felt about that.

And then, without warning, they flew out of the tunnel and came into a cavernous expanse so large and so fantastic that Misty was blown away. "Whoa."

"I know, right?" Algebrea said with a giggle.

Their bubble was now floating inside a crystalline sphere that, according to Misty's newfound mathematical skills, was approximately five million times the size of her solar system. Filling this ridiculously massive space were worlds. Worlds upon worlds upon worlds beyond counting (actually, Misty calculated there were approximately 5,762,097,466.74892 planets floating about), orbiting miniature stars that Misty's newfound knowledge immediately told her weren't actually stars at all but either miniature fusion reactors or a fascinating lifeform known as a 'Sol,' which could be called a living star, only smaller than most actual stars, and not quite as bright or dangerous. More bubbles constantly zipped through space between the planets, carrying passengers from one world to another or outside the sphere altogether on business. There were even some that forwent bubbles and flew about under their own power.

"Where _are_ we?" Misty asked. "You said we were inside a living thing, but what living thing grows like this, or has planets inside of it, or is just…this _big?!_"

"It's actually smaller than you'd think. The inside is larger than the outside due to the use of space-folding technology, tesseracts, and complicated quantum physics you probably wouldn't…no, wait, you would understand now, wouldn't you?" Algebrea mused.

"That still doesn't tell me what exactly we're inside of," Misty said.

"Think of it as a gargantuan living spaceship capable of traveling between universes and dimensions at will on its mission to collect knowledge and assist those in need," Algebrea said. "I'm sure you noticed how most of my fellow crewmates belong to species you don't typically see much of anymore, or whose homes were destroyed. Whenever we come across a planet of particular interest or value is so far gone that even our super-science can't save it, we offer its inhabitants a place aboard our vessel, as long as they agree to do their fair share and help the rest of us do our job. An artificial planet mimicking their old one is then constructed and placed in one of the thirteen great spheres that make up our ship, one of which you are in now. Each sphere contains planets composed of a certain habitat. For instance, one sphere contains all the gas planets, one contains all the high-gravity planets, one sphere contains planets that aren't planets at all, etc. My fellow Mathematicans and I were given a berth here when our system was destroyed, so I live in the sphere composed of silicon and energy-based planets."

"Amazing…" Misty whispered. "Are there Pokemon here? Like me, I mean?"

"Not like you, since you're a rather unique creature as of now, but yes, there are Pokemon here," Algebrea confirmed. "But they live in a different sphere. You can visit them later, if you would like."

"Maybe I will…" Misty murmured. She frowned, recalling something Algebrea had just said. "You said that you let people on board if they agree to work. What if they don't?"

"Then we drop them off on some other habitable planet with everything they need to get started again and leave them be," Algebrea said.

That sounded reasonable enough to Misty, but something still seemed a little off. "Okay, and…what sort of 'work' do you guys do around here?"

"Collect data. Monitor situations in distant universes. Dispatch assistance to trouble spots. Perform research. Care for the ship. That sort of thing," Algebrea explained.

"You make it sound so easy, but the fact that the ship is this big and requires a crew this size must mean your work is never done," Misty commented. "I can only imagine how your leader can manage everything!"

"That's pretty easy, actually," Algebrea said. "You see, the leader _is_ the ship."

Misty froze. Another feeling of unease began to rise inside of her. "He…_is_ the ship?"

"Yep," said Algebrea.

"So when you said you care for the ship, you're caring for…for _him?_" Misty asked.

"Yeah. Why?" Algebrea asked.

"How does he…how does he give orders or assign duties or that sort of thing?" Misty asked. "Send out telepathic memos? Post a duty roster? Delegate authority?"

"Actually, something a lot more interesting than that," Algebrea said. "You see, we sort of have a symbiotic relationship with our leader. He provides us with a home and a mission. We provide him with assistance."

"Like…what kind of assistance?" Misty asked. "Other than that stuff you said before, and routine maintenance of his body, I mean."

"Our leader is one of the most intelligent beings in the Omniverse, which is how he's so good at deciding the right way to handle just about any situation," Algebrea said. "However, as the Omniverse grows and becomes more complex, he has to adapt to match it. So, to increase his brainpower for the _really_ difficult stuff, he basically taps into all of our heads and uses our minds to come up with the proper solutions for problems. We all get these implants when we agree to sign on as crew, and among many other benefits like immortality, it connects all our brains together to form a sort of super-neural network that forms part of the ship—our leader's—own expanded brain. Just as we can use this network to talk to just about any other crew member, even if they're on the other side of the ship, whenever we want and share thoughts and emotions and the like, our leader can contact us and upload information or orders into our heads on a regular basis."

Misty's heart stopped. "You mean he can read your every thought at any point and seize control of your brainpower whenever he chooses and you can't do anything to stop it."

Algebrea considered that for a moment. "When you put it that way, it _does_ sound a little bad, but it's really not what you-"

Misty started backing away from the Datafairy. "You're all part of a hive mind."

Algebrea blinked. "Yeah. Why? Is there something wrong with-" She gasped. "Oh! I forgot, you don't…Misty, wait, it's not as bad as you think-"

Misty didn't stay long enough to hear any excuses or explanations, didn't stay long enough to be convinced that giving up her free will or individuality was actually for her own good, didn't stay long enough for the knowledge inside her to try and convince her with examples of successful hive mind societies across the Omniverse that it might not be such a bad thing. She knew she couldn't let it happen to her again. Before Algebrea could do anything, Misty turned and jumped at the side of the bubble, transforming herself into a solid spike of water that allowed her to break through the semipermeable surface and plummet towards the worlds far below. Algebrea cried out in alarm behind and above her, but Misty didn't care. She was probably going to die, but she didn't care. She probably was never going to see Gardevoir or Collette or Junior or Sapphire or her sisters or…or Ash…or any of her other friends again, but she didn't care about that either.

All she cared about was getting away, because she couldn't allow herself to be subsumed again. Even if it meant her death.

…

And that's that! End of the arc!

What, dissatisfied with some of the cliffhangers? Tough luck, you'll have to wait for the end of the next arc for some of them to be resolved.

Speaking of which, the arc in question will begin after I've written the bonus chapter I've been promising for Latias' Journey. As I've said before, it will go in detail about the events mentioned at the beginning of this story. That means, however, I'll have to wind up retconning a major chunk of Journey, namely the final arc on Birth Island. Could I write a giant super duper final battle? Possibly, but the truth of the matter was that I ran out of ideas for how something like that would go a while ago. Would ending the story the way I'm planning it now be a disappointment? Well, that's really up to you. I'm aware some could see it as a cheap way of avoiding really working for an ending, but…with any luck it'll be just as satisfying the way I have things planned, so if any longtime readers are offended, I apologize in advance.

In any event, once the bonus epilogue is out of the way, the stage will be set for the next arc in spooky Twilight's Edge, where, as you can tell from this chapter, quite a few plot threads will be intersecting. The resulting clash should be…interesting, don't you think? See you then!


	32. What is this, Resident Devil?

Fresh off the heels of the epilogue to Latias' Journey, here's the next chapter of Brave New World! Hope it was worth the wait, or lack thereof.

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters that don't belong to me. Everything else belongs to someone else.

…

It was nighttime in the Sinnorre region.

Team Aurabolt was seated around a campfire in some dark woods out in the wilderness, resting after a long day of travel. It had been about four days since they had parted ways with Zoro and Wes's crew at the airstrip near Treasure Town, and had spent almost every hour of daylight since then heading in the direction of Twilight's Edge. It was only after they had said farewell to the masked Meowth and his companions and watched them fly off in their airship that it occurred to all of them that they should have asked Zoro to drop them off in Twilight's Edge directly instead, saving them several days of walking. Leo had sworn rather profusely when he realized this.

The athletically-challenged Squirtle's complaints aside, the journey had not been too bad. The road to Twilight's Edge was much safer and better maintained than the ones to Turtle Town or Treasure Town, so they didn't have to climb too many mountains or ford too many rivers. All in all, the trip so far had been pleasantly uneventful, with the only rough spots being ambushed by four groups of bandits, two wandering barbarian bands, some kind of horrible chimera that was a fusion of Luxray, Flaafy, and Ekans, and Tiny briefly going on a hunger strike when Ash tried to feed him some berries he didn't like. (That last one had been the most strenuous, naturally.)

This would be the last time they needed to camp out in the open for this leg of their adventure, for the next day they would reach their destination of Twilight's Edge. They had received a message from Pokemon Square earlier that night informing them that Father Yamiri had arrived in the ghost town ahead of them, which meant that he might be able to help them find the Star Badge in return for assisting him and his mentor in ridding the town of the evil currently plaguing it. Ash and Pikachu were looking forward to seeing the priest again, Leo was interested in engaging the Father in theological debate (something everyone else was dreading) and Sasha and Tiny were mostly indifferent.

As the fire burned merrily before them, each of the team members were engaged in their own activities. Pikachu was practicing with his sword, happy to have Thunder Fang in his paws once more. Ash was meditating to try and master some new Aura techniques he had read about. Sasha was keeping all her senses on guard as she kept watch, even though Ash, Pikachu, and Leo had assured her the traps and sensors they'd laid out earlier in the evening would alert them if an intruder approached. And Leo…

"Ha! In your face, Arackaiser! You lose again!" Leo whooped from his laptop.

Pikachu frowned and paused in his training. "Is picking fights with that guy really a good idea, Leo, now that you know each other's identities? Especially since Arackaiser happens to be a very unhinged Pokemon working for the Nihilators who would eagerly kill you and your family as revenge for all the times you've beaten him in video games?"

Leo smirked. "First off, he's the guy who keeps picking the fights, not me, and I'm never one to turn away a challenge. Second, he _would_ kill me if he could find me, but since I've installed software onto my computer that keeps him from hacking into my gaming accounts or systems and tracking me down that way, I'm not particularly worried about waking up one day to find him holding a knife to my neck. (Not that that would do much, since I could just retract my head into my shell.) As for my family, I'm pretty sure they're safe so long as Turtle Town still has Tiama's kids and the army of skeletons guarding it. (Little did he know that Chobin had, in fact, tried to get a ship sent to Turtle Town to level the village and capture and enslave the inhabitants, but Oblivion's Shadow had denied his request on the grounds that it was a waste of resources to fulfill a petty grudge.) And thirdly, I'm not actually the one playing against Chobin, Tiny is."

Pikachu blinked and nearly dropped his sword, Sasha glanced over, and Ash snapped out of his meditation at this. "_Tiny_ is playing?!"

Leo nodded and moved aside to reveal Tiny sitting before his laptop, eyes focused intently on the screen, his arm nubs flying as he rapidly entered commands on the keyboard, doing pretty well for someone without fingers. "Yeah! In another no doubt misguided attempt to bond with the little guy and get him to open up to me, I introduced him to the online world of MMORPGs and helped him set up an account of his own. He's doing pretty well for a beginner, too…maybe a little too well. He's getting uncomfortably close to breaking some of my high scores. Maybe it's time for him to take a break." He reached down to take the laptop away, causing Tiny to scream at the top of his lungs. Leo quickly retreated. "Or not."

Ash frowned. "Leo, you'd better not be corrupting my kid there. I don't want him to turn into a nerd and videogame junkie."

"What's wrong with being one of those?" Leo asked, offended.

"Athletically unfit, poor combat skills, overweight," Sasha recited as if from a list.

Leo grimaced. "Hey, I'm getting better, aren't I? I did a pretty good job of holding my own in Mt. Battle!"

"Yeah, but remember, most of those were just fights for fun and sport and profit. Life-and-death battles are much more serious, with much higher stakes," Pikachu pointed out.

Leo sighed. "Yeah, I know…"

Tiny's concentration on killing as many virtual opponents as he could was broken when suddenly a new window popped up, filling the whole screen with Professor Oak's head. The Slowking broke into a smile when he saw the Larvitar. "Oh, Tiny! I didn't know you knew how to use a computer. How are you-"

Tiny frowned and closed the window, annoyed by the interruption. He went back to his game, until Ash put a paw on his shoulder. "Tiny, that was Professor Oak. It might have been important. Could you please get off so we can call him back?" Tiny grunted but reluctantly got up and waddled away from the computer.

"That kid really needs to work on his social skills," Leo complained as he took Tiny's place at the laptop and started setting up a connection to Professor Oak. "Ash, how much longer until you think you can do that Aura stuff to open his heart up?"

"I'm still working on it," Ash said. "I'm getting there. I think."

In only a few seconds, they had reestablished contact with their friend back in Treasure Town. "Sorry about that, Professor," Pikachu apologized. "Leo's introduced Tiny to computer games, and he was sort of in the middle of one when you called."

"Oh, I see. That's quite all right, I understand perfectly. Tracey often hogs my computer all the time too to play his games, and gets rather testy when I try to get him off so I can use it too," the Professor said.

"I don't do it _that_ often…" Tracey muttered in the background. He was lying, of course.

"How is your progress?" Oak asked Team Aurabolt.

"We're almost at Twilight's Edge, Professor," Ash reported. "We should be at Dusk Forest late tomorrow morning."

"More like tomorrow night, actually," Leo interjected.

Ash frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Well, it's always night in Dusk Forest, so technically when we enter the forest it'll be nighttime, even though the sun will still be shining brightly only moments before we go in," Leo explained.

Sasha frowned. "How is that possible, anyway? How can one place be always night while in the rest of the world, day and night still continue in their usual cycle?"

"Well, as I'm sure you yourself can understand, Sasha, there are several Pokemon—such as several Dark, Poison, and Ghost types—who suffer a certain degree of prejudice from others who are unable to let old superstitions and fears go," Oak explained. "Most of those Pokemon have no recourse but to live out in the wilds, away from distrustful population centers, but even that is not always protection from those who would hunt and kill them. In an attempt to fix this, Darkrai, lord of darkness, death, and dire dreams-"

"Dire what now?" Ash asked.

"Nightmares," Pikachu said.

"Oh. Why didn't he just say that, then?" Ash asked.

"Alliterative appeal," Leo guessed.

"What was that about Darkrai?" Sasha asked intently.

"Well, Darkrai sent visions to quite a number of those Ghost, Poison, and Dark types--along with other sufferers of discrimination--in their sleep, telling them to come to Dusk Forest," Oak continued. "He told them that he would make it into a haven for them where they could live in peace without having to fear attacks or predation from those who feared them. Naturally, quite a large number of Pokemon migrated to the Forest at once. When they arrived, Darkrai cast a spell of darkness over the place so that the sun would never rise there, and it would remain night forever, creating the perfect habitat for them."

"The sun never rises? How can it do that?" Ash wondered. "Doesn't the world revolve around the sun or something? How can you stop the sun from rising in one place?!"

"Oh, it's not that hard, actually," Leo quipped. "He probably just used his dark magic to filter out inbound solar radiation that would normally strike the spot where Dusk Forest is so that the only stellar rays that made it through the atmosphere there would be moonlight, starlight, and the usual bursts of cosmic energy. This would have the effect of making the sky look as if it were permanently nighttime, since without the sun's light constantly outshining them, the moon and the stars would be visible at all times."

"Oh," said Ash, having no idea what Leo had just said.

"That sounds about right," Tracey said.

"I am certain he could do something like that," Sasha said confidently.

"Able to live in a place where they could freely express their darker urges to their fullest, the refugees built a town that turned fear into a sort of art form, in homage to the one who had led them there, the master of nightmares himself. In Twilight's Edge, one of the favorite pastimes of the residents is trying to frighten each other or tourists, and inventing new ways to elicit great amounts of terror. There is no malicious intent behind the scares, however, it's all in good fun, just a little fear to put the chills in your spine and get your heart pounding. If you have a heart, that is," Oak continued, feeling the need to go into more detail about the town's history, even though the major question about how Twilight's Edge's most unique feature had come to be had already been answered.

"So it's like Halloween year-round?" Pikachu asked.

Oak nodded. "Pretty much. And of course they go all out when it really _is_ Halloween. What better way to honor their patron deity than by creating an orgy of pure sweat-inducing spine-tingling sanity-shattering terror, the kind that scares years off your life at the time but makes you laugh when you look back on it later?"

"What is Halloween?" Sasha asked.

"It's a holiday that happens once a year where you dress up in a costume and go around to other people's houses begging for candy and stuff," Leo said.

"What does that have to do with fear or Darkrai?" asked a confused Sasha.

"Halloween is at least partly about trying to scare other people. And candy. And it happens at night," Ash said.

"It supposedly arose out of bowdlerized rituals used by Darkrai's priests and followers and later adapted by the public into a kid-friendly event," Tracey added.

"Oh," Sasha said, not really getting it.

"Most of those who feared and hated the Pokemon of Twilight's Edge were too frightened by the concept of all those terrifying creatures living in one place to risk bothering them and incurring their wrath (or, in the case of those who went there to bother them anyway, were literally scared out of their minds), but the most zealous and paranoid were only incited further by this, and became more convinced than ever that those Pokemon needed to be exterminated before they spread darkness and terror across the world," Professor Oak continued. "Fortunately, before any war could break out, the Arcean Order got fed up with all this nonsense and officially put Twilight's Edge under their protection, warning the bigots that anyone who tried to destroy the town or its inhabitants would face the full force of their righteous fury. Most of the town's enemies backed off after that, and those who didn't soon regretted it."

"That was nice of them," Ash commented.

"Why did this 'Order' take such an interest in Twilight's Edge?" Sasha asked.

"Ghost Pokemon have made up a significant portion of the Arcean's ranks for ages," Pikachu said. "In fact, upon their deaths, many living members choose to come back as Ghosts rather than proceeding to the afterlife so that they can keep doing what they believe to be Arceus's work in the world. The Order's ghostly members probably pressured the rest of the organization to intercede to protect their undead brethren in Twilight's Edge…though I doubt it took much convincing, the Order does Pokemonitarian stuff like that all the time."

Oak nodded. "That's pretty much why, I think. The residents of Twilight's Edge were so grateful to the Order for saving them that they allowed themselves to become one of the Arcean's major holdings and have supported them ever since. As a result, Arceus gets almost as much, if not more, worship from them then Darkrai, with the Dragon God-King bringing in a close third."

"So Twilight's Edge has ties to all three major religions with a large proportion of Ghost-type followers, huh? That's pretty interesting," said Pikachu.

Sasha frowned. "I can see why they would worship Darkrai and Arceus, but what does the Dragon God-King have to do with Ghosts? I thought only Dragons worshipped him."

"I was surprised the first time I found that out too," Ash said.

"According to Arcean doctrine, during the Crisis Wars the original god of death and antimatter, Giratina, rebelled against Arceus and joined the enemy for reasons we're still unclear on," Oak said.

"I heard it was because she was jealous that Arceus was totally into Mew instead of her and would only mate with Mew even though Mew was free to sleep with anyone she wanted. Heh, kind of a slut, isn't she?" Leo joked.

"That's just _one_ theory," Pikachu said a little sharply. "There's lots of possible reasons."

"Yeah, but I'm putting my money on jealousy," Leo said irreverently. "The Abyss hath no fury, and all that."

"When Giratina seceded, she took most of the spirits who served her with her," Oak continued. "However, a number of them felt uncomfortable with their mistress's actions and defected back to Arceus's side. When the wars were over and the adversary's armies were put on trial, the Dragon God King spoke in defense of Giratina's servants, pointing out that since many of them had made the right decision and switched sides—again, that is--they couldn't be all bad, and suggested that those who had remained with Giratina might not have done so by choice and should be given a second chance. Arceus agreed, and so those spirits were spared being cast into the Abyss like Giratina and the other supporters of the enemy once the trials were at an end. Out of gratitude, many of those spirits swore fealty to the Dragon God-King, and so many of their spiritual successors—heh, I made a pun there—among the Ghost-types serve the Dragon God-King and his avatar, Rayquaza, out of remembrance for the mercy he showed their predecessors."

"I see…" Sasha murmured, enlightened by this information. Tiny, having no interest whatsoever in this religious discussion, had wandered off to go peel bark off a tree, which he found infinitely more exciting.

"There are a few other stories I could tell you, but that's pretty much everything you need to know right now that you don't already about Twilight's Edge," Oak finished. "A place full of fun and frights, though more the latter than the former lately, especially if Ghosts really _have_ been disappearing in broad midnight and the Arcean Order has seen fit to send in one of their greatest priests, Master Yon, to investigate. I imagine you'll get a warm welcome there, Pikachu, considering it was your ancestor who put a stop to the last threat the town faced, the legendary monster Yamatorochi, over a hundred years ago."

Pikachu nodded. "That's right. I heard they built a statue for him and everything. If it turns out to be that old snake causing trouble again, then the sacred sword Thunder Fang should be able to put a stop to him."

Oak nodded. "I should hope so! I've also heard there's been a recent outbreak of zombie attacks, but it's unclear if they're related to the disappearances, and they already have someone else working on that anyway, so it's probably none of your concern." Leo frowned when he heard that, something about it ringing a bell for some reason.

"We intend to take a look into those too when we get there," Ash said. "Knowing our luck, it probably has something to do with the next Star Badge."

"Hopefully the Nihilators aren't involved…" Pikachu said.

"If they are, then we'll cream them! Payback for what those bastards pulled at the Tree of Beginning and almost did to Battlus!" Leo growled.

"That reminds me…Professor, have you been able to dig up anything else about the Nihilators? Or maybe Annihilation?" Ash asked the Professor. He had told the Professor all the details about his latest flashback, in hopes that the researcher could find something that could shed more light on them in the secret library on Sharpedo Cape, though he admitted the chances of that were slim.

"I'm afraid not, Ash," Oak said apologetically. "However, I _did_ find something you might find interesting…I've finished translating the first half of the text inscribed on the wall near the great Door beneath Treasure Town!"

This instantly got their attentions (except for Tiny, who was now eating the bark). "Really? That's great news!" Pikachu said.

"What does it say?" Sasha asked.

"Does it mention where the Door came from, or what's behind it?" Ash asked.

"Something like that…there's still a lot of information I haven't been able to decipher yet," Oak said apologetically.

"Don't keep us in suspense, mon, tell us what you _have_ figured out," Leo encouraged.

"Very well then. Be warned, however, what I'm about to tell you may surprise and disturb you," Oak said. "It seems that millions of years ago, before any civilization as we know it existed on Earth, a group of alien colonists landed on our planet. Their world had been destroyed countless centuries before, and had spent generations wandering through the cosmos in search of a new home. Ours seemed good enough."

"Aliens settled on our planet in the distant past? Ha! I knew it!" Leo said.

"If they made Earth their home, why isn't there any sign of their presence here?" Pikachu asked skeptically.

"Uh, what do you call the giant city underneath Treasure Town?" Tracey asked.

"…Good point," Pikachu admitted.

"There were only a few hundred of them left when they landed, but they hoped that they would have the chance to multiply and replenish their dying species," Oak continued. "They initially settled in a region that had little in the way of an indigenous population, since they were somewhat afraid by the power the native species, the prehistoric ancestors of modern Pokemon like you or I, possessed. Life was hard at first, as they struggled to adapt to the land and cultivate it for their purposes, but they managed to survive and eventually prosper and even flourish over a period of many years.

"And then the Door appeared."

Team Aurabolt stirred at this. "The Door…" Sasha muttered to herself.

"What do you mean it 'appeared?' Where did it come from?" Pikachu asked.

"Did it just materialize from thin air or something?" Leo asked.

Oak shook his head. "No. Actually, it fell from space, like a meteor."

They considered this for a moment. "It came from space?!" Ash asked in disbelief.

"Whoa," said Leo.

"What was it doing up there?" Pikachu wondered.

"The settlers wondered the same thing. They investigated the impact crater the Door formed when it crashed to the surface—a crater, incidentally, which was in the location that would one day be Treasure Town—and found the Door, standing upright and chained to a platform made of some kind of stone or metal that the settlers were unfamiliar with, something foreign to our galaxy. That platform, incidentally, went on to become the central square of the subterranean city, as you saw when we first met. The aliens moved their entire population and constructed a new city around the Door."

"Why would they do that?" Sasha wondered.

"I'm getting to that," Oak said. "The Door wasn't the only thing they found. In smaller craters surrounding the Door's platform were seven glittering jewels…jewels that looked as if they would fit in the indentations in the crystalline locks binding the Door."

"The seven Star Badges," Ash breathed.

Oak nodded. "Precisely. Awed and curious, one of the aliens picked up one of the Badges…and an apparition appeared before them! At first they thought it was a wraith or god or other dread being, but the image assured them telepathically that it was no threat to them, merely a recorded message that could only be triggered when sentient lifeforms stumbled upon the Door. The recording explained that eons ago, at the end of a mighty battle an evil of limitless destructive power had been sealed in another universe, the only access to which was the Door standing before them. The beings who had sealed the evil away cast the Door into a rift in the space/time continuum to keep it from being found by those still loyal to that evil, and so that nobody but they would know when or where it would appear again. They had thrown the keys to the Door into the rift as well, because they believed for some reason that the sealed evil might one day realize the error of its ways, so should provide the means to release it from its long imprisonment if and when the day of its reformation came so that it could rejoin the rest of the Omniverse."

The others exchanged alarmed looks. "They did _what?!_" cried a shocked Leo.

"That does not sound like a very good idea," Sasha agreed.

"What were they thinking?! Some villain or idiot whose curiosity got the better of them—I'm looking at you, Ash ("Hey!" Ash shouted)—might take the keys and use them to open the Door just to see what would happen, possibly dooming the entire planet in the process!" Pikachu yelled.

"That was my reaction, too," Tracey said.

"And the aliens'," Oak said. "However, the recording went on to explain that its creators had recognized that might not be the wisest thing to do either, but believed the risk of _not _including the keys was just as great."

"The risk of not including the keys? What's wrong with that?" Leo asked. "If they had kept the keys to themselves, then nobody could use them to open the Door."

"Yes, but if the Door were to be opened prematurely by some sort of accident, then there'd be no way to seal it back up again, either," Oak pointed out. "The creators of the Door were worried that the sheer power of the evil they had imprisoned was so great that it might eventually destroy its bonds by itself and break free. If such an event were to occur, then the Star Badges would need to be brought together to either refresh the seal before it was destroyed, or, if it was too late for that, create a new one to re-imprison the evil. That's why they sent the keys along, in case they were needed to make new locks."

"I guess that makes sense," Ash said reluctantly.

"I think it would've been easier for them to just rig up some sort of alarm system that would automatically summon these guys if the evil broke loose, so they could lock it back up on their own," Leo complained.

"The aliens said pretty much the same thing," Tracey commented.

"In any event," Oak continued. "The recording tasked the colonists, as the first beings to discover the Door, with the job of guarding it and making sure that no evil from within or without tried to open it, and to make sure that the Star Badges were kept safe. It then vanished, leaving the colonists with more questions than answers, but also the knowledge that they had just been given an enormous responsibility they weren't sure they were ready for. Nevertheless, they rose to the challenge. They moved their entire civilization to the site of the Door's impact and erected a new city around it, the city you saw beneath Treasure Town. They studied the Door and the Star Badges and discovered that the Door's seal was indeed weakening just as its creators had feared, so quickly set about to do something about it. After much research, they constructed a barrier tower that would be able to mimic the same energy wavelengths given off by the Badges and direct them at the Door to keep the seal from breaking. They also installed a failsafe mechanism that, in the unlikely event that the Door was opened, would be able to close it again if all seven Star Badges were inserted into it. They then sealed the tower itself underground, with only the very top of it sticking out, namely the part upon which the Door itself is standing on and the rest of their city was built around."

"They buried an entire _tower?!_" Ash asked in disbelief. "Then what we saw _still_ wasn't the lowest level of that place?! Dang…"

"It sounds as if they were trying to be very thorough," Sasha noted.

"When you're trying to keep an ancient unfathomable evil from breaking out, you gotta take all the precautions you can," Leo said.

Pikachu frowned. "But considering that the city is empty now and buried beneath millions of years worth of other ruins indicates that they must have failed. Well, not in keeping the evil sealed, but in guarding it, since they aren't around anymore."

"What happened to them, Professor?" Ash asked.

Oak sighed and shrugged. "I'm afraid that part is probably covered in the second half of the text. I'm still working on it. Interestingly, analysis indicates that the second half was written more recently by the first…by which I mean it was still written millions of years ago, but it wasn't quite as old as the first half, though not by much."

"Then perhaps the second half is a record of what happened to those aliens and why they aren't around anymore," Sasha suggested.

"We've learned plenty already about them, though," Leo said. "And now we know what's behind the big Door…sort of. Some ancient evil force that the Nihilators want to release to destroy the world! Though technically we already suspected as much."

Pikachu nodded. "And we still don't know who sent that evil here or why they thought it might have a chance of redeeming itself."

"Tracey and I will keep studying the remaining text and see if we can figure out anymore answers to those questions. It may offer some other clues as to the nature of the evil sealed behind the Door and where the other Star Badges are," Oak said.

"Thanks for the update, Professor. There's still a lot of mysteries surrounding this thing, but it sounds like you're getting close to solving a few of them," Ash said.

"Speaking of mysteries…how goes things at Pokemon Square? Have your friends there figured out what went wrong with the whole Guardian-summoning-thing?" Oak asked.

"Not yet," Pikachu said with a sigh. "Apparently Latias is still in a coma. And Rayquaza is a Bagon for some reason. They're looking into it, though."

"I hope they figure it out soon," Ash said. "Because if we mess up for whatever reason, the guys back home might be our only hope of saving the world!"

"Then we will endeavor not to screw up," Sasha said. The others nodded in agreement.

"Any other news, Professor?" Leo asked.

"Not really. Oh! There is one thing. Don Wiggly has upped the bounties on your heads, or rather, the heads of your alter egos, so if and when you need to go into Treasure Town again you'll need to take on new identities," Oak said.

Leo laughed. "Ha! Is that all? That should be no problem for a master of disguise like myself! Oh, and Tracey too." Tracey grunted.

"I really hope it won't come to that…but somehow I get the feeling we aren't through with that town, or that Wigglytuff," Ash said.

They made some more small talk for a little while, and then the Professor signed off. They went to sleep soon after, though they were delayed somewhat by Tiny becoming violently sick due to some rotten bark he had eaten. That was unpleasant for everyone.

…

The next day, after waking up, having breakfast, and releasing (or killing) the embarrassed bandits, barbarians, monsters, and wild Pokemon that had gotten caught in their traps the previous night, Team Aurabolt set out again for Twilight's Edge. They hadn't been journeying for more than two hours before they reached their destination.

Well, sort of. "'Welcome to Dusk Forest,'" Pikachu read off a large, fragmented, rather old and weather-beaten sign standing at the edge of a rather large forest full of towering gray leafless trees that bore all too much of a resemblance to skeletons. "'Home of Twilight's Edge, the spookiest town in all the world. (Not the most terrifying, though, that title goes to Genocide City. Those guys are _psychotic…_) If you seek thrills, chills, and possibly a reunion with a much-beloved deceased relative (by which we mean you might get to talk to their spirit, not that you'll die and join them on the other side), come right in. If you scare too easily, wet yourself or your bed frequently, are pregnant, or have a heart condition, we kindly recommend you turn back now, we don't want anyone to get hurt. And sue us. Unless you're a bigoted anti-Ghost, anti-Dark, or anti-Poison racist. In which case, feel free to come in! We'll make sure it'll be an experience to _die_ for. (Not that we'll actually kill you, mind, just scare the shit out of you, possibly literally. We're not murderers, after all. Besides, if we killed you we might get stuck with your ghost lingering around for a while, a thoroughly unpleasant experience for everyone.)'"

"I'm amazed they managed to fit all that onto one sign," Ash commented.

"Why'd they say all that, anyway? Kinda detracts from the mystique," Leo complained.

"Probably for legal reasons," Pikachu said. "I'd imagine they get threatened with a lot of lawsuits from people who found their stay a little too frightening. Just because most of the residents are undead doesn't mean they're exempt from fines."

"Let's go in," Sasha said eagerly, something that puzzled her friends, because it was rather uncharacteristic of her.

"Okay, but so long as you promise not to kill anyone who leaps out to try and scare you," Pikachu said. "The Pokemon here are more mischievous than an actual threat."

"I think they would have a very hard time trying to scare someone who has lasted as many cold, dark, hunger-stricken winters as I," Sasha said.

"What about Tiny? He's just a baby, they're always a target for scares and freaks," Ash said worriedly.

"Ash, I'm not sure Tiny feels enough emotion to even know what fear is," Pikachu pointed out. Tiny sucked on his pacifier in agreement. "He has nothing to worry about."

They walked towards the forest. "So, I thought this place was supposed to always be night," Leo commented as they walked past the sign. "So why's it still broad day…oh."

They stopped and looked up and around them in wonder. The instant they had walked by the sign, the sun had vanished, and day had turned into night. The sky was black and dotted with countless stars, as a half-moon shone down on them from on high. The gray trees rose up around them on all sides, leafless branches reaching up towards the sky like grasping claws. It was much too quiet for a forest, and all around them they kept detecting some kind of motion out of the corners of their eyes, but whenever they turned to look, there was nothing there. "Wow," Ash said finally.

"This is incredible," marveled an astounded Pikachu.

"Hold on," said Leo. He ran back past the sign and into broad daylight. He turned and went back into the forest, and it was night again. He ran past the sign, then back into the woods, then out again, then in…

"Leo, what are you doing?" Pikachu asked in exasperation.

"I'm traveling through time!" Leo joked as he dashed back and forth. "First it's day, then it's night!" He stopped so that he was half inside the forest and half out, straddling the border between day and night. "And now I'm a being of twilight, able to exist in both worlds at once! Bow before me, for I have supreme power over light and darkness!"

"I think Darkrai would have something to say about that," Sasha said sternly.

Leo nervously stepped back into the sunlight. "Eh-heh, ah, good point. Darkrai protects this place, doesn't he? Don't wanna piss him off…he's the lord of nightmares and all…um, now I'm wondering if I might be better off staying out here, where it's nice and warm and sunny…"

"What's wrong, Leo? Scared of some bad dreams?" Pikachu taunted.

Leo huffed. "What?! Don't be preposterous! I've watched more horror movie marathons than you can possibly imagine! It'll take more than some nightmares to scare me!"

"Then get back over here so we can go to town already," Ash said.

"Right," Leo said. He hesitated for a moment, then quickly hopped back over the boundary and rejoined the others. "So! Onward to adventure!" Tiny rolled his eyes and sucked on his pacifier.

They proceeded into the forest. The silence and the feeling of eyes constantly on them was more than a little unnerving at first, but since Sasha's danger-sense wasn't going off they concluded there was really nothing to be worried about and their eerie surroundings were more for atmosphere than anything else. In fact, after a while it became downright pleasant, what with the starry night (Day? Twilight?) sky overhead and the occasional HootHoot hoot, Murkrow squawk, and the flapping of many Zubat wings. "This place would probably be a lot scarier if we couldn't see the stars," Pikachu commented after a while. "If it were overcast things would be much darker here."

"Guess whoever's in charge of the weather here is having their night off," Leo half-joked. "Otherwise I'm sure it would be storming. And rain would be coming down in sheets on all sides, forcing us to hurry on a frenzied dash through the woods…until a chance flash of lightning illuminated the masked freak wielding a chainsaw standing right in front of us!" There was a pause. They glanced around, but no maniac appeared. Leo frowned in disappointment. "Okay, this is getting ridiculous. This place is renowned for its scares, so where's all the terror, huh? I'm going to complain about this on my blog later and tell my thousands of online friends not to come here if something spooky doesn't happen in the next five-"

Sasha gasped. "I sense danger!"

"There we go! That's what I'm talking about!" said the enthused Leo.

"Where?" Ash asked, scanning the area with Aura-sight while Pikachu drew his sword, Leo put on his shades, and Tiny…did nothing. "I don't see anything!"

"It comes from…" Sasha closed her eyes, focusing. "Below!"

"Everyone, move!" Ash shouted.

They got out of the way just in time, as the earth they had been standing on erupted and several dozen…_things_ crawled out. It would be charitable to call them Pokemon. They clearly had been people once, but now that the flesh was rotting off their bones and gaping holes had formed in their bodies and several body parts were falling off even as they advanced, moaning, on the group, it became obvious that they were no longer among the living. "Oh boy! Zombies!" Leo said excitedly with the complete opposite reaction any normal person would use if they found themselves in that situation. "Finally, I was wondering when something like this would happen! How do you think they're making the zombies work? Animatronics? Necromancy? Possessing the corpses?"

"Leo, I don't think this is part of the local entertainment," Pikachu warned him. "Didn't we hear something about zombie attacks in this area?"

"Figures that we'd run into them before we even made it to town!" Ash complained.

Sasha was rather disturbed. "The dead walk? This is a perversion of the natural order!"

"By that same logic, aren't Ghosts a perversion of the natural order too?" Ash asked.

"No," Sasha said. Ash waited for more, but she didn't elaborate.

Leo smirked. "Relax guys, they're just zombies! As undead monsters go, they're practically bottom of the barrel! Heck, I don't even need my shades to figure out their weak spots, I've seen enough horror movies and played enough survival horror games to know how to beat them in my sleep!"

"Okay," Pikachu said. "And the best way to defeat them would be…?"

"Simple. Like the skeletons we fought back in Tiama's castle, they should be vulnerable to healing items," Leo explained. "Other than that, aim for the head. They can keep coming at you if you break off their limbs, but destroy the brains and the rest stops moving. Oh, and whatever you do, don't let them bite you or else _you'll_ turn into a zombie too! Or at least get a nasty infection."

"I think we can manage that," Ash said.

Leo nodded. "Like I said, basic zombies are fairly low-ranking when it comes to undead horrors. The real problem comes more from their tendency to overwhelm their prey with sheer numbers, since on they're own they're fairly easy to beat."

"I can believe that, seeing how long it's taking them to walk over here," Sasha commented. "Or is that more of your 'talking is a free action' thing again?"

"A little of column A, a little of column B," Leo said.

Ash formed his Bone Rush staff. "Then let's take them down! I always like a good fight early in the morning!...or is it night? Kinda hard to tell here…" Tiny rolled his eyes.

Without further preamble, Team Aurabolt charged the zombie horde. Ash dashed through the masses of shambling corpses, expertly swinging his staff to either side as he went by, lopping off or crushing in zombie heads with great ease…though the showers of gore, brains, and rotten flesh that went spraying all over the place was kind of gross. An immense Ursaring missing most of its face and one of its arms rose up before him, bellowing and spitting several of its teeth at him. Ash thrust a Force Palm forward, blasting apart the bear's torso and leaving a gaping hole in its place. Completely unfazed, the bear swung a huge claw at Ash's head. The Lucario quickly ducked under the blow, thrust his staff into the hole he had made, and brought it upward, ripping the Ursaring's head in two and splattering him with bits of blood, fur, and brain.

Ash grimaced in disgust as the Ursaring collapsed to the ground. "Ewww…" He generated a quick surge of Aura, disintegrating the mess and cleaning his fur. "That's better." He paused, noticing that several dozen moaning zombies had closed in around him. He grunted, realizing he might have been a bit too quick to clean himself. There were still a lot of undead to go…He sighed in resignation, dissolved his staff, and formed a pair of Metal Claws. "If you guys were smart, you'd realize it's probably a bad idea to mess with an Aura Guardian-in-training. Then again, you don't have enough brains to be smart, do you?" The zombies howled and lurched towards him. "Yeah, that's what I thought." Ash spun, tearing into his undead foes with his claws as they charged at him.

Pikachu plowed through the zombies like a steamroller with Volt Tackle, the decrepit undead actually disintegrating as their decaying flesh made contact with his electrical nimbus. When he ran out of steam and stopped his dash, he found himself surrounded by several dozen zombies. Unafraid, he sliced through the air several times with his sword, sending Vacuum Cuts in every direction. There was a pause, and then all the zombies fell apart into neatly cut—and gushing--pieces, collapsing to the ground in a moaning heap.

More zombies slowly advanced to take their place, though. Pikachu clenched his teeth, cheeks crackling as he charged up electricity. He ran forward to meet the zombies, sword and Iron Tail swinging through the air as he went, a zombie head or body part or torso falling with every strike he delivered, not a single blow failing to miss its target. (It would be hard to, considering how tightly the zombies were packed.) He alternatively fired Thunderbolts and Thundershocks at random too, vaporizing any zombie unlucky enough to be standing close enough to him when he discharged. He killed at least thirty-five zombies in just a few seconds in this method, but more immediately burst out of the ground to take their place. Narrowing his eyes in annoyance, Pikachu drove Thunder Fang into the ground, hopped onto its hilt, and leaped into the air as the zombies converged on him. They opened their jaws and reached upward, ready to catch him and tear him to pieces when gravity inevitably sent him falling back their way.

Pikachu didn't intend to satisfy them. With a great cry, he sent a Thunderbolt cracking down on Thunder Fang. His enchanted sword absorbed the lightning and released it in an amplified electric shockwave that ripped the surrounding zombies into lifeless molecules, scorching the earth and knocking down any trees that got in its way. As still _more_ zombies came up to replace their fallen brethren, Pikachu landed, pulled Thunder Fang from the ground, and ran to meet them, shouting a battle cry.

Not as agile as his friends, Leo opted to stay in one spot and let the zombies come towards him, firing precision Water Gun bursts that took off zombie heads in a single blast, just like how he took out zombies in his favorite light-shooters like Mansion of the Dead or Resident Devil Chronicles. (Not Resident Devil Survivor, though, because those games sucked.) "Boom! Headshot! And another one bites the dust!" the Squirtle chortled as yet another zombie collapsed to the ground, adding to the pile of corpses lying around him. The ground shifted beneath his feet, and suddenly a claw burst out of the ground, a zombie emerging to attack him from below. Leo cried in alarm and retracted into his shell before the zombie could scratch or bite him. The animated corpse, an undead Pinsir missing a horn and a leg, groaned and bit on his shell, trying to crack it open. Annoyed and puzzled when most of its teeth broke off, the insect turned Leo's shell around to try and find a way inside. That gave Leo the opportunity to punch a hole in its face with Water Gun when his head-hole was facing the bug, killing it in a single shot.

"Phew, that was a little close," He commented as he popped out of his shell and the Pinsir fell to the ground. Then he noticed that several more zombies were surrounding him. "Whuh-oh." He went back into his shell again just as they lunged at him and let loose with Rapid Spin, whirling across the ground at ankle level in an outward spiral. His shell smashed through the zombies' flimsy feet and legs, causing them to collapse as he spun past, creating a huge pile of twitching and struggling forms. When Leo broke free from the mass of zombies, he turned around and hit them with an Ice Beam, freezing them all into a solid ice mass. Then he pulled back into his shell and launched himself at them with another Rapid Spin, smashing the ice—and the zombies in it—to smithereens, killing them all. Again. "Yeah! I rule!" he exulted. Naturally, several more dozen zombies burst from the ground at that moment. He sighed. "Right. It never ends, does it?" The zombies lunged, and he pulled into his shell, preparing to repeat his last offensive.

Sasha viciously tore into the zombies, claws and fangs flying as she ripped her foes apart. "Foul abominations," she snarled. "Return to your true state of death, as is proper!" She flicked her head, sending blades of Razor Wind flying out in all directions, severing zombie heads and body parts. Those that weren't destroyed by the attack moaned in response and kept mindlessly lurching towards her. She growled and leaped forward with Take Down, smashing her way through the torsos of at least a dozen zombies conveniently standing in a row, ripping enormous holes in their chests. Some of them fell apart. Others didn't seem to be particularly inconvenienced by their wounds and just turned to keep coming towards her. She grunted and flicked her head again, sending a huge Psycho Cut energy blade rushing out that bisected several dozen zombies. However, most of them only got cut in half horizontally, so both the dismembered legs and torsos kept crawling towards her. Her lip curled back in disgust. "These things should not be…" she growled, eyes glinting. "And so I shall make them what they should be!" She lunged forward, rushing through the masses of undead and slicing them apart with Night Slash. Gore and viscous fluids sprayed all over the place and caked on her fur, which was not as easy to clean as Ash's. She sighed in frustration and tried to shake some of it off, seemingly oblivious to how another large group of zombies had just emerged from the heap of body parts behind her and were ever so slowly marching towards her…

Until a Future Sight energy ball smashed down onto them, vaporizing them in a brilliant explosion. Sasha smirked, pleased by her success. "That's better." Then her danger sense blared again, and many more zombie reinforcements appeared. She sighed in exasperation. "How many more are there?! If 'civilized' Pokemon would simply _eat_ their dead rather than burying them, we could avoid things like this!"

Tiny sucked on his pacifier and glanced up at the very tall, imposing, and horrifying zombies looming over him. A Quilava with smoldering greasy gray flames burning on his back groaned and lowered its gaping jaws towards Tiny. The Larvitar narrowed his eyes, pulled out his pacifier, and Screeched at the top of his lungs. The Quilava and the other zombies staggered back, the force of Tiny's sonic cry forcing them away from him as well as stripping off some of their rotting flesh and breaking their fragile bones. Before they could recover, Tiny summoned his Hidden Power energy balls and flung them at the horde, each ball expertly smashing into and crushing a zombie's head. The headless corpses fell all around him, leaving him in the center of a circle of bodies. He put his pacifier back on his mouth and sucked on it, pleased with himself.

That's when claws abruptly burst out from the ground beneath his feet and dragged him down into the dirt before he could cry out in alarm or call for help…not that he needed it. A few seconds later, the zombie that had attacked him burst out of the ground, desperately trying to make a break for freedom as Tiny gnawed on the monster's leg. It wailed in pain and terror, skeletal fingers clawing frantically at the dirt until they broke off as Tiny pulled the zombie back underground, its screams growing fainter and fainter until finally they silenced.

And then more screams took their place. There were an awful lot of zombies moving about underground…and they were all unlucky enough to run into Tiny.

Team Aurabolt fought valiantly and fiercely, and soon the bodies of at least a hundred zombies were littered all over the woods in various pieces. Unfortunately, even _more_ zombies soon rose from the earth to take their place, and the group quickly found themselves outnumber and overwhelmed, even Tiny burrowing back to the surface to escape the ever-increasing flow of undead. Ash, Pikachu, and Leo fell back to rejoin the other two, resorting to Potion spray in an attempt to drive off the zombies. The Potions worked as well as acid against the undead, their flesh dissolving as the healing spray was…sprayed on them, but unfortunately, the zombies' hunger for brains overwhelmed their survival instincts—assuming they had any--and kept marching forward, even as their flesh rapidly disintegrated. "They just keep coming!" Ash cried in alarm as the Potion bottle he was using ran out, forcing him to switch to another one.

"There's too many of them! We don't have enough Potions to keep them at bay! At this rate, we'll run out in a few minutes, and then they'll get us!" Pikachu said.

"Well, like I said before, zombies are weak on their own, but they have numbers on their side," Leo grunted. "Fortunately, as usual, I have a plan!"

"And that is?" Sasha asked. She didn't have any Potions (or the opposable thumbs necessary to use them) so she had just been flinging energy blades at the zombies.

Leo took a deep breath. "Help! Help! Won't somebody help us! We're totally screwed and there's no way we can possibly survive!"

Pikachu and Sasha sweatdropped. "Not this again," the swordsmon groaned.

Ash shrugged. "Well, it worked the last two times. 'Somebody save us! We're completely doomed and without hope for victory!'"

Pikachu sighed and gave in. "'There's no way we can possibly get out of this!'"

"Um…we need to be saved? Oh help, help, help?" Sasha said dubiously, unused to calling for help. Tiny just sucked his pacifier.

At first, they could hear nothing but the moaning of the undead, and it didn't look as if it had worked. But then…Sasha gasped, her danger sense spiking as she picked up something coming towards them, something potentially even _more_ dangerous than the zombies. There was an earth-shaking roar and a pair of incredibly bright beams sliced through the darkness, blinding them and turning night into day. The zombies cried out and tried to shield their eyes, but the light only grew brighter as whatever was making them came closer, its roar growing louder and louder…

And then burst onto the scene, revealing itself to be none other than a DeSoto Adventurer, the spectacularly bright beams generated by the headlights, and the roar the noise of its demonically-enhanced engine. Leo gasped in delight. "It's Sam and Max!"

Pikachu groaned. "Oh no, not _them_ again…"

The DeSoto zoomed forward, engine growling sadistically as it mowed down the zombies, splattering its grille and windshield with their not-so-vital juices and mashing them to pieces under its tires. Sam and Max leaned out from inside the car and started shooting the zombies with their 'gun' weapons. The 'guns' seemed to be very effective against the zombies, it only took one well-aimed shot to the head to down a zombie, their 'bullets' making the heads explode and splatter brains everywhere. "Begone, Things That Should Not Be!" Sam quipped.

"Die, die, die! Again, that is!" Max cheered enthusiastically, shooting wildly in every direction and still managing to score hit after hit against the zombies.

The undead moaned and tried to run away, finally seeming to realize that they were outmatched. Sam and Max wouldn't have any of that, though, and chased after them in their car, their motorized chariot easily overtaking—and running over--the shambling zombies before they could retreat into the forest or vanish underground. The zombies lay in a twitching, oozing, groaning mishmash on the ground, tire tracks crushed into their squishy forms. "They aren't dead yet, Sam," Max complained, looking over his shoulder.

"That's an easy problem to solve," Sam said, shifting the car into reverse and backing up over the crushed zombies. Then he drove over them again, backed up, drove over, backed up, and so on until the zombies were reduced to nothing more than a pile of rather disgusting ooze and spare body parts lying strewn about. "There! All done!"

"Nice driving, Sam…except you missed a few!" Sam said, pointing at Team Aurabolt.

"Is that so? Oh well, that's nothing some bullets won't fix," Sam said, drawing his gun.

"Wait! Don't shoot!" cried the alarmed Ash. "It's us, Team Aurabolt!"

"You remember us, don't you? The guys who you almost got thrown into the Treasure Town harbor with? And who you took to Giant Volcano in your car…across the seabed?" Pikachu shuddered in horror at the memory.

"Where you blew up a hot dog vendor, while we watched," Sasha added.

Sam shrugged. "Doesn't ring a bell."

"Shoot 'em deader, Sam!" Max urged.

"We also gave you dinner at our secret subterranean library," Leo prompted.

Sam holstered his gun. "Oh, _those_ guys! Why didn't you say so in the first place?"

"Yeah, we can never forget a good meal!" Max said. He and Sam hopped out of the car and approached them. "What're you guys doing here?"

"We could ask you the same question," Pikachu said.

"Okay, ask away," Sam said. There was a long silence.

Pikachu frowned. "Well?"

"Well what?" asked Sam.

"Aren't you going to tell us what you're doing here?" Pikachu asked.

"You didn't ask," Max said.

Pikachu blinked. "But I said-"

"You asked if you _could_ ask them, you didn't actually ask them the question," Leo pointed out. Pikachu facepalmed.

"What're you guys doing here?" Ash asked, moving the conversation along.

"After we finished up our assignment at the volcano, the Commissioner gave us a call to come out here and deal with a zombie epidemic," Sam said.

"Don't you remember? You were there when we got the call," Max said.

"Oh yeah…I remember now," Ash said.

"So we got in the car, drove out here, and started busting zombie heads. End of story," said Max.

"Now it's your turn. You never said what you were doing out in these dark, spooky, zombie-infested parts," Sam said.

"We're looking for another one of those Star Badge things we told you about," Leo said. "We almost got one at Battlus, but then the bad guys took it away. At least we made some friends and got a new teammate out of the whole thing. And a ton of cash!"

"Cash is always good," Sam acknowledged.

"Ooh, is that cutie the new teammate? Awww, just look at him! Aren't you the most adorable widdle baby dinosaur monster thing? Yes you are, yes you are?" Max cooed, tickling Tiny's chin. Tiny, naturally, started screaming at the top of his lungs. Max did not appear to be bothered in the slightest, even when Tiny bit his finger. "Awww, I think he likes me! Sam, can we keep him?"

Sam shook his head. "I don't think so, little buddy. Don't you remember what happened to the last baby you had?"

"How was I supposed to know bathing him in radioactive ooze would turn him into a giant monster that would destroy the city?" Max complained.

"That's the reason you _put_ him in the ooze to begin with!" Sam retorted.

"Oh, right. Good point," Max admitted.

Ash pulled Tiny away from Max. "Sorry, this kid's taken. You can't have him." The Larvitar hugged his leg gratefully. Max's ears drooped in disappointment.

"Don't worry, little buddy. There'll be other babies," Sam assured his partner.

"But none as cute as that one," Max complained.

"That's what you said about all the others, too," Sam pointed out.

"Gosh, Sam, I barely remember the others, you know how my memory is," Max said.

Sam nodded in agreement. "Like a sieve made of swiss cheese that's been shot full of holes by a buckshot shotgun, little buddy."

"Mmm…cheese," Max drooled.

"So, now that you've cleared out the zombies, where are you heading next?" Ash asked.

Sam frowned. "Cleared out? Not by a long shot, I'm afraid. While this bunch may be deader than dead again, the zombie plague won't stop until we defeat the madman who's been reanimating them in the first place…a fiend so despicable, so evil, so, well, _fruity_, that I dare not speak his name."

"What's his name?" Ash asked.

"Jurgen," said Max.

"That does sound fruity," Sasha agreed. She paused. "What does 'fruity' mean?" Ash shrugged. Leo opened his mouth to tell her, but Pikachu shot him a look, and he remained silent. Tiny sucked his pacifier.

Leo frowned. "Jurgen…why does that name sound familiar? Wait, wasn't he that ambiguously gay vampire you two defeated in Stuttgart that one time?"

A rather…fruity laugh echoed through the forest. "Zat's me, all right!"

They looked around in surprise, Sam and Max drawing their guns. "Where is he?!" the not-Growlithe growled.

"Up there!" Ash and Sasha, immediately picking up the vampire's presence via Aura and danger senses, cried, pointing to the top of a nearby tree where a pale figure was posing dramatically, outlined against the stars. He was incredibly pale and actually looked quite a lot like a human…other than the blood-red hair, red eyes with yellow sclera, fangs, claws, pointed ears, and nipple rings. He was (unfortunately) shirtless and only wore black fingerless gloves, a black neck choker, a belt made of right cylinders with a bat-shaped metal buckle, and a far-too-tight pair of black leather pants.

Pikachu blinked in surprise. "Whoa! What the…what is that thing?!"

"A vampire!" Leo said. "Oh boy, I've always wanted to meet one! Good thing I came prepared and brought my vampire-slaying kit!" He started rummaging in his shell. "Let's see…I got a stake, garlic, holy icons from various different religions, salt, iron, silver, a mushroom I can stick in his sock and throw into a river…"

"Jurgen! We've got you at last!" Sam said, aiming his gun at the vampire and firing.

Jurgen vanished in a puff of smoke, reappearing on the ground nearby. "Ha, you still haffen't learned from ze last time! Your puny bullets haff no effect on me!" the vampire taunted in a ridiculously over-the-top Germanian accent. It was even worse than Tarantulas', if such a thing were possible.

"Oh no? Even when they're made from _silver_?" Sam asked, leveling his gun and firing off several rounds.

Jurgen's hands darted through the air faster than the eye could see, snatching each bullet out of the air before it could hit him. "Yes." He arrogantly tossed the silver nuggets to the ground. Leo made a note to pick them up later.

"…Oh. There goes that idea," said the disappointed Sam, lowering his gun.

"How'd you get out of Hell, anyway?" Max asked. "Last we saw, you were stuck as the Devil's receptionist for all eternity!"

"Herr Satan promoted me for mein perfect attendance und penmanship und vorking extra hours, und sent me to zis vorld to raise an army of zombies using mein mad dance skills viz vhich I could conquer first zis vorld, und zen our home universe!" Jurgen boasted.

"Not if we stop you first! Max, fetch…_the Boscotech Stakeinator,_" Sam said ominously.

"Okay," said Max, tossing Sam what looked like a very large gatling cannon, which Sam pointed at Jurgen, the weapon so big he needed to use both hands to hold it steady.

"This baby can fire a hundred stakes a second! Even with your vampire reflexes, you shouldn't be able to deflect these!" Sam said.

Jurgen laughed and crouched low to the ground, supernatural muscles tensing themselves. "Ha! Just try it, _hund_!"

"Okay," said Sam, pulling the trigger.

There was a flash, the sound of a muffled explosion, and suddenly Jurgen was buried beneath a pile of…very large and steaming slabs of red meat. Everyone stared at the pile blankly. "Was that supposed to happen?" Sasha asked after a moment.

"Those aren't stakes," said a confused Leo.

"No, they're steaks!" Sam said angrily, throwing the cannon down in frustration. "I told Bosco I needed a _stake_ launcher, not a _steak_ launcher! He must have gotten the two mixed up…which means I wasted a trillion dollars for a piece of junk!"

"I don't know, Sam, I can see a lot of uses for a gun that shoots food," Max said.

"Ending world hunger?" Pikachu suggested.

Max gave him an incredulous look. "What? Of course not! I meant attack hippies with it! Those vegan losers will run screaming when they see me packing this baby…more than they already run screaming when they see me coming, I mean."

There was a puff of smoke, and a disgusted Jurgen reappeared, dripping with meat juice and a steak caught in his hair. "Ewww," he said, ripping the steak off and throwing it away. "You attacked me viz _meat?_ How barbaric! Und you call _me_ evil?"

"Yes," Sam said.

Jurgen laughed. "Vell, even if you _had_ had a gun zat could shoot stakes, it vould still haff no effect on me! I have drawn power from ze dark magic vhich keeps ze sun from ever rising in zis place, so I am stronger zen ever before! I am invincible, baby!"

"Really? Well, darn, I'm out of ideas. What about you, little buddy?" Sam asked Max.

"We could run him over with out car?" Max suggested. The DeSoto _vrummed_ emphatically in the negative. "Good point, that'd totally ruin the detailing."

Leo snapped his fingers. "The sun? Of course, that's it!" He pulled out a large lamp from his shell. "The sun may not shine here, but I think this baby should still do the trick! Eat UV radiation, you _Midnight_ reject!"

"Hey, I _like_ _Midnight_-" Jurgen started to protest until Leo switched the lamp on, bathing him in bright purple radiation. He screamed in agony, smoke rising from his body as severe burns formed on his pale flesh. "AAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEE! ZE LIGHT! IT BUUUUURRRRNNNNS!"

"Heheh, that's the idea!" Leo said.

"Nice job, Leo!" Ash said.

"Wait, but how is that working?" asked a rather confused Pikachu. "That's not the sun, or anything solar powered, it's just a lamp."

"A lamp that emits light on an ultraviolet wavelength," Leo explained. "A little-known fact about vampires is that it's not the sun itself that burns them so much as the intense UV rays the sun generates, which are relatively harmless to us other than helping us get tans. Since moonlight is only a pale reflection of sunlight, the nighttime UV is weaker, which is why they can walk around at this time of day without getting hurt."

"Oh," said Pikachu. Tiny sucked his pacifier.

Jurgen vanished in a puff of smoke, reappearing atop another tree, his body blackened and burnt. "Ugh…you…d-don't zink zis is over! It'll take more zen some weak artificial light to defeat me! I'll go lick my wounds und raise ze rest of my undead army, zen come back und crush all of you, drain your blood, und add you to my legions! Bwahahaha-" He was cut off in mid-laugh when Leo shined his lamp on him again. He screamed in pain and teleported to another tree. "Right. No more gloating. Going now. Bye." In another puff of smoke, he transformed into what looked a lot like a Zubat, only black, furrier, and with eyes and legs, and quickly flapped off into the night.

"Yatta! Another victory for Leo DeKappa!" Leo exulted.

"That was some nice work there, little buddy," Sam said.

"Thanks, Sam!" Max said.

"I was talking to the turtle," said Sam.

"Oh," said Max. He frowned, hurt. "But _I'm_ supposed to be your only little buddy…"

"Uh, so…should we go after him or something?" asked a confused Ash.

"No, that's our job. You have your own thing to do," Sam said.

"Besides, you guys'd just get in our way," Max said. "Plus, we don't need _two_ little buddies competing for Sam's affection…wait; did I say that out loud?"

"Yes," said Sam.

"Okay," said Max.

"Will you guys need my lamp? I have a spare," Leo offered.

Sam shook his head. "No, Jurgen's right, it'll take something much more powerful than that to put him down for good…fortunately, you've given me an idea. I think I know just the guy we need. Come on, Max! We're off to San Michel!"

"Good, I could use some more sun after all the days we've wasted here! I call shotgun!" Max said, leaping into the DeSoto.

"You always get shotgun, because we rarely ever have passengers," Sam pointed out.

"I don't really care," Max said.

Sam chuckled and shook his head. "You crack me up, little buddy." He got into the car.

"Good…and it'd better stay that way…" Max said, glaring over his shoulder at Leo.

"Bye!" Leo yelled, waving as the DeSoto growled to life and they drove away.

"Well, that was interesting but pointless," Ash commented.

"While I'm glad they saved us, I hope we never see them again," Pikachu said.

"You know we're going to, inevitably," Leo said.

Pikachu sighed. "Yeah, I know…"

"Sasha, stop eating that stuff, you don't know where it's been! You too, Tiny!" Ash admonished Sasha and Tiny, who were eating the steaks fired from Sam's cannon.

"It tastes fine to me," Sasha said, licking meat juice from her lips. "And I'm hungry. The rations and other things you keep trying to make me eat aren't enough to satisfy my appetite. If you let me eat more of the enemies we fought, this wouldn't be an issue."

Ash sweatdropped. "Sasha, you're a member of a Rescue Team now. That's not really how we do things."

"I'm almost eighty years old and this is how _I've_ always done things. It's a little late for me to change my ways," Sasha countered.

Ash sighed in frustration. "What about you, Tiny? Isn't the stuff we give you good enough?" Tiny shrugged and kept eating.

"We probably should get away from here," Pikachu commented. "All that meat just lying around may attract something unpleasant…like more zombies."

"Or worse," Leo murmured, picking up the spent silver bullets and Pachirisuing them away. "No telling what other kind of stuff is in this forest."

"I suppose you have a point," Sasha admitted. "I don't sense any more danger in the vicinity, but fresh food is always a lure for predators and unwanted foes. I also suppose it would not be easy to take any of this with us…very well. Let us be on our way."

They departed, though not without some difficulty, for Tiny was unwilling to leave the pile of his new favorite food without a fight. That was unpleasant for everyone.

…

Some time later…

The fight with the zombies had gotten them off the trail, and the heroes had been wandering for a couple of hours now without finding any sign of the town or a way out of the forest. They were beginning to think they were lost. "I'm beginning to think we're lost," Ash said with a sigh.

"This seems to be a recurring theme for us," Pikachu said.

"Ash, you can't use Aura-sight to track down the town's location?" Leo asked.

Ash shook his head. "These trees are more alive than they look, and are clustered so thickly their Auras are blending together and making it hard to tell what's past them."

Leo sighed. "Of course they are. How typical."

"And you can't use any of your fancy gadgetry to find a way out?" Pikachu asked.

Leo shrugged. "The dark magic's making it hard to get a wireless signal in these woods. Maybe if we could get somewhere with fewer trees…"

"I could throw you to the top of one of the trees," Ash suggested. "Would that help?"

"Uh…let's save that for a last resort," Leo said uneasily.

"Something is coming," Sasha said.

They tensed up. "Is it dangerous?" Pikachu asked.

"Not as much as the zombies or Sam and Max. I would say its potential danger level is about as high as Leo's, if not lower," Sasha said.

"Should I feel insulted or relieved?" Leo asked.

A faint light appeared in the distance, weaving its way through the trees, not moving towards the group but beckoning them to come towards it. "Oh good, it's someone from town come with a lantern to guide us to safety," a relieved Ash said, starting forward.

Leo grabbed his paw and pulled him back. "No, you fool! Don't you know anything about folklore or ghost stories? It's a trick, that's an evil spirit pretending to be a friendly guide that leads foolish travelers like ourselves into quicksand pits rather than safety!"

"Awww, darn, how'd you know?" the light complained, floating over to them and revealing itself to be the free-floating eye of a Duskull.

"Because I'm genre-savvy!" Leo boasted.

"You were going to lead us into a quicksand pit to kill us?!" Pikachu asked angrily, drawing his sword.

The Duskull recoiled. "What?! No, geez, who does something like that? I'm a trickster, not a murderer! The quicksand's only about a foot deep, you'd think you were sinking to your deaths, but then you'd hit bottom, realize it was all just a joke, and laugh it off."

"I don't find that sort of thing very funny," Sasha commented. Tiny sucked his pacifier, but it was hard to tell if that meant he agreed or disagreed.

"It's an acquired sense of humor," the Duskull said with a shrug. "We do that sort of thing here all the time."

"Since we caught on to your game, do you suppose you could take us to Twilight's Edge rather than into another trap?" Ash asked.

The Duskull nodded. "Sure thing. I was gonna take you to town after you fell into the quicksand pit, anyway. We haven't got visitors for a while now, what with all the zombie attacks and the…disappearances."

"Well, we're here to put a stop to that," Leo promised. "The disappearances, not the zombie attacks. Because you already have someone else taking care of that."

"Oh, you met them?" the Duskull asked. "Kinda screwy guys, aren't they? Don't scare easily…to be honest, they kind of freak us out a bit."

"You aren't the only ones who feel that way," Pikachu said sympathetically.

The Duskull paused and took another look at Pikachu. "That's funny…you look familiar for some reason. Have we met before?"

Pikachu shook his head. "No, I've never been here before. You might be thinking of my great-grandfather, Susanoo."

The Duskull gasped. "Susanoo?! You are descended from the hero who saved us from Yamatorochi?! OmiArceusomiArceusomiArceus…do you have the sword, too?" Pikachu nodded and pulled Thunder Fang slightly out of its sheath, causing the Duskull to squeal joyfully. "Oh, wow! This is great! Now that you're here, we have nothing to worry about! We already had hopes that the guys the Arcean Order sent us would be helpful, but if the next wielder of the legendary Thunder Fang has come to help us, we have nothing to worry about! Come right this way, I'll take you all to town straight away!" He floated away, leading them deeper into the forest.

"Good to know your family has a strong following here," Leo said. "I wonder what other things we can get by flaunting your reputation as the great-grandson of Susanoo?"

"Hopefully, something to eat," Sasha commented. "Do Ghosts eat anything?"

"I think so," Ash said. "Though they don't need to. But it's not like there aren't other kinds of Pokemon living in town, too, so meals shouldn't be a problem."

"Oh, by the way, watch out for the tripwire," the Duskull said.

"What trip-" Ash started before Tiny accidentally tripped over a concealed string, causing a horrendous apparition to swoop down on them, laughing malevolently. Ash screamed, Pikachu drew his sword and sliced the thing in half, and Leo, Sasha, and Tiny were completely unaffected. (Leo because he'd seen it coming and had seen worse, Sasha because she had sensed no danger, and Tiny because he didn't really care).

"Sorry," the Duskull apologized. "I was going to lead you into that trap—and several others—on the way into town before I learned you were Susanoo's descendant. I'll try and warn you about any others we might run into on the way, okay?"

"All right," Pikachu said grudgingly.

"Why do you guys leave stuff like this around, anyway?" Ash asked, recovering from his brief fright as they started walking again.

The Duskull shrugged. "It's what we do. And seeing people wet themselves in fright never gets old. Oh, and don't step there-"

"WAAAAAHH!" Ash cried as the ground collapsed beneath his and Tiny's feet.

"There's a pit trap," the Duskull finished too late.

"Why didn't you warn him?" Pikachu asked Sasha, who had to have known.

"The Duskull beat me to it," Sasha said. "Or rather, didn't."

"There's dead bodies down here!" Ash cried.

"No, those are just surprisingly death-like replicas, we can't spare any real corpses since most of the ones that aren't locked in tombs have become zombies," the Duskull said.

"Oh," said Ash. "Are the worms fake, too?"

"No, those are real. Why?" the Duskull asked.

"Um…Tiny's _eating_ them," Ash said in disgust.

Most of the group shuddered. "Ewwww," said Leo.

Sasha did not. "They're actually very high in fiber, you know."

"I did not, and really didn't need to," said a revolted Leo.

They got Ash and Tiny out of the pit, but not before Tiny had eaten more worms. That was unpleasant for everyone.

…

Still later…

"Ah, here we are," the Duskull said as the trail they were on, lit by phosphorescent skulls set on pikes beside the road, terminated in a pair of very imposing spike-tipped rusty iron gates set in a tall, crumbling stone wall that stretched off into the forest in either direction as far as they could see. "We've reached town at last!"

"Not a moment too soon," said Pikachu. "All those traps were getting on my nerves!"

"It doesn't look particularly inviting," Ash said uncertainly.

"Oh no, we just make it look like this for effect. Same as the skulls," the Duskull explained. "The rust and look of wear and decay are as real as they are!"

"Oh, and the bloodstains are fake, too?" Leo asked.

"Ah, no. Those are real. We had a little accident just this Tuesday…but, ah, you don't need to hear about that. Come on!" The Duskull passed through the gates.

"Um, we can't phase through solid objects," Sasha pointed out.

"Not yet, anyway," said Leo. Tiny, unbothered by the obstacle, simply Dug beneath the gate and over to the other side.

"Oh, sorry. I always forget our flesh-and-blood guests need to use the door," the Duskull apologized. He floated over to a lever on the inside wall and pulled it, causing the gates to shudder and swing open with a loud creak that sounded much like a wail of torment.

"Wow, how do you get it to do that?" Leo asked as they passed through the gates. True to form, they slammed shut with a great crash the instant they were all inside.

"Careful lubrication and use of the right oils," the Duskull said. He bobbed up and down excitedly. "Now, revered Thunderblade and friends, allow me to welcome you to the humble town of Twilight's Edge!"

They looked around them with more than a little trepidation. Tall, ancient, and dilapidated buildings loomed over them on all sides, growing from the cracked and weed-strewn cobbled ground much like the not-really-dead trees out in the forest. Windows were broken, doors were hanging off their hinges, and pieces of broken brick and masonry dotted the crumbling facades. Rather gruesome gargoyles leered from the rooftops, with equally hideous statues of nightmarish creatures placed haphazardly here and there on the ground. Light shown from pumpkin-shaped lanterns and more glowing skulls on pikes set alongside the road, along with ghost-shaped balloons that drifted randomly about making a faint moaning sound. Murkrows and Honchkrows flapped about alongside groups of Zubats, Golbats, and Crobats. Ghost Pokemon were drifting everywhere, and various Dark and Poison-type Pokemon such as Houndooms, Umbreons, Stunky, Arbok, Grimer, Gulpin, Skorupi, Spinarak, and more were lounging about all over the place. Sasha was surprised to note that there were even a couple of Absols too, who did not seem especially interested that another of their kind had just entered town. That implied her species was nothing new around these parts, which had…interesting connotations.

"Cooooool," said Leo. "It's like we walked into a horror movie! Or Halloweentown!"

"Um…nice place you've got here," Pikachu said. "Very…er…interesting architecture."

"Isn't it, though?" the Duskull said proudly. "I know it might not look like much, but it's actually very cleverly designed. It only _looks_ as if it could collapse at any moment, everything here is quite stable. We only build everything like this because we like it this way. It fits our sense of aesthetic."

"Well, it certainly gives this place the ghost town vibe you're reputed for," Ash admitted. Tiny sucked his pacifier in agreement.

A number of Ghosts floated over, while the other Pokemon lifted their heads in vague interest. "Ah, Skullker, it looks as if you've brought us some fresh meat," a Haunter with an eerie grin (then again, didn't they all?) said.

"Back off, I found them first," the Duskull, now known as Skullker, warned them. "Besides, they're not here to be scared or see the sights or speak with the long-deceased. They've come to help save us from our current plight. The Pikachu here is none other than the descendant of the great Susanoo Thunderblade!"

The Ghosts gasped when they heard this. "Susanoo's descendant?!" the Haunter cried.

"Yeah, now that you mention it, he looks just like him," commented a Shuppet.

"Only smaller," said a Gastly.

"And younger," a Drifloon said.

"With fewer scars," said a Misdreavus.

"And not as sexy-" a Rotom started.

"Okay, okay, I get the point," Pikachu said, somewhat embarrassed. "I take it from the way you spoke that most of you were around when my great-grandfather last came through here?"

"Well, yeah," said the Haunter, rolling his eyes. "We're Ghosts, after all. It's not like we can die of old age or anything like that."

"And who are these guys? Susanoo didn't have any traveling companions," a Dusclops said, glancing at the others. "He didn't need them."

"Yeah, well, I doubt Susanoo had friends as good as us!" Leo bragged. "I happen to be Leonardo DeKappa, latest in a long line of DeKappa warriors and current wielder of the legendary family sunglasses of concentrated awesomeness! On either side of me are Ash, Aura Guardian-in-training, and Sasha, an Absol of great wisdom and experience! Oh, and Tiny." Tiny sucked on his pacifier.

"Ooh, a baby," a Shedinja commented, floating to Tiny. "Isn't he adorable?" Not liking the spirit being so close to him, Tiny took out his pacifier and screamed. Rather than driving the bug away, this had the opposite effect of grabbing the attention of every ghost in hearing range and causing them to flock over to get a better listen.

"Wow, this kid sure has a nice set of pipes on him," a Gengar commented.

"Yeah, he can scream with the best of them!" a Sableye agreed.

"Hey kid, scream a little for me, will you?" a Haunter asked, making a terrifying face. Tiny screamed.

"Ha, you call that scary? Get a load of this!" a Banette said, making an even more horrifying face. Tiny screamed.

"Psh, that's nothing. Now, THIS is scary!" boasted a Gastly, making the scariest face yet. Tiny screamed.

The heroes sweatdropped as the ghosts kept making faces. "Do you think we should tell them Tiny isn't screaming out of fright but because they're invading his personal space?" Pikachu asked.

"Nah, they're having such a good time. I don't want to ruin their fun," Leo said.

"I do," Ash said. "They're making Tiny really anxious!"

"Yeah, well Tiny's been making us anxious all day," Leo pointed out.

"Weren't you the one who said you wanted to bond with him?" Ash asked.

"Just because I want to become friends with him doesn't mean I can stand him all the time," Leo said.

Pikachu nodded. "Yeah, I feel that way towards Pichu…and Ash, sometimes."

"Hey!" Ash said.

When the ghosts grew tired of tormenting Tiny, they floated back over to the rest of the team. "Sorry about that, we haven't had a screamer as good as that kid in a long time," a Haunter apologized.

"Since you've come all this way to help us, we'll escort you to the Mayor's," a Drifloon said. "That's where the Arcean priests are. They should be happy to see you guys."

"We already sent someone ahead to let them know you're here. We'll meet them in the main square," a Rotom said.

"Thanks, we appreciate that," said Ash.

"And here, to make up for scaring the little guy, he can have this candy," a Gengar said, handing Ash a plastic wrapper holding some striped sticks of candy.

Pikachu frowned suspiciously. "This isn't poisoned or full of worms or anything, is it?"

"Or going to release dozens of wailing spirits or writhing snakes when it's opened?" Leo asked, equally suspicious.

"I don't sense much potential danger from it," Sasha commented. "It doesn't even seem to be a choking hazard."

"Yeah, it's totally harmless," the Gengar said innocently. "Just a gift from us to you."

Ash was unconvinced. "Let me try some first." He tore open the wrapper, removed one of the sticks, and started sucking on it. "Hmm. Not bad," he commented after a moment.

And then his head exploded, startling his friends. "Holy shit!" Leo cried.

Time seemed to reverse and Ash's exploded head suddenly reformed itself. He blinked. "Uh…okay, what just happened?"

The ghosts started laughing. "Sorry, our candy does that to people from time to time," Skullker apologized.

"Makes them explode?" Pikachu asked incredulously.

"They get better," Skullker said defensively.

"It actually wasn't that bad," Ash admitted.

"Ooh, let me try some," Leo said, grabbing a stick. He started sucking on it. His head exploded, and then reformed itself. He giggled. "Dude, that was awesome!" He sucked some more, causing his head to explode again.

"Yeah, it's pretty good," Ash agreed, sucking some more and blowing himself up again.

Pikachu scratched his head in puzzlement as Ash and Leo took turns blowing their heads up. "I really don't get those two," Sasha commented.

"The feeling's mutual," Pikachu agreed. Tiny sucked on his pacifier, wondering when it was going to be his turn.

After they had finished blowing up their heads, the party proceeded to the town's main square, while their ghostly tour guides eagerly pointed out interesting (and spooky) landmarks and the still-living Pokemon residents either looked on in curiosity or followed along to see what was going on. Soon enough, they reached the main square, which was every bit as macabre and decrepit-looking as the rest of Twilight's Edge. Evil-looking mansions that were undoubtedly haunted (well, duh, considering the town's constituency) lurked and crowded into each other at the edges of the square, the old buildings leaning forwards and to the sides so much that the roofs of quite a few manors separated by streets were actually touching each other. An especially dread-looking structure built like a small castle loomed on the far side of the square across from the newcomers, with a central keep culminating in a huge screaming stone skull with great beams of light shining from its eye sockets, what looked like literal _wings_ growing from the sides, and an entrance stylized like a pair of huge gaping jaws, with a stone 'tongue' forming the stairs leading up to it. A stone scroll held by a pair of gargoyles perched atop this maw proclaimed that this was the town hall. Diabolical machines that would not have looked out of place in a torture dungeon were placed at the square's four compass points, being used as a playground for living and undead children. It was hard to say whether it was disturbing or heartwarming to watch them joyfully stretching each other out on racks, swinging on gallows, hiding in defanged iron maidens, or using a guillotine to cut up vegetables. In the very center of the square was a great fountain with an immense triumphal statue of Darkrai standing in the center, perched atop the forms of numerous horrid monsters, either nightmare servitors or demons he had defeated, or possibly both, it was hard to say. What looked an awful lot like blood poured from the eyes of the stone monsters, filling a large pool that several children were happily splashing about in.

"Um, is that actual blood?" Ash asked.

"Of course not, it's just water we added red food coloring to," Skullker scoffed.

"Yeah, we save the real blood for special occasions," a Gastly commented.

"Like what?" Leo asked.

"Halloween, Christmas, New Year's, Easter, Arbor Day, other major holidays…that sort of thing," a Shuppet explained.

"Where exactly do you get the blood from?" Pikachu asked.

"Blood banks, duh," Skullker said. "We're civilized Pokemon here! We don't drain it from anyone. Not anymore, anyway."

"The children are happy and playing without fear," Sasha commented, observing the little ghouls and their friends having fun. "Any place where young mons can run about and play in the streets cannot be too bad a place to live."

"Well, I wouldn't say that," Pikachu interjected. "Children were running and playing freely in Treasure Town too…mainly because they didn't have homes. And the games were different. And they had somewhat more sinister intentions…"

"Yeah, I remember seeing a pack of them robbing and slitting the throat of a big, fat merchant," Leo recalled with a shudder. "And when one of them developed a limp…the others tore her apart and sold the organs they didn't eat on the black market."

The Ghosts gave him horrified looks. "That's terrible!" commented a Misdreavous.

"It's no wonder no Ghosts live in Treasure Town. They don't need to scare anyone there, that place is bad enough to do it all by itself! Plus, after you died, why would you want to stick around in a shithole like that?" a Sableye agreed.

"Things like that never happen around here," a Drifloon assured the heroes.

"That's good to hear," Sasha said.

"All in all, it seems like a nice town to live in," Leo commented. "Other than the fact that the residents keep popping up out of nowhere to try to scare you every few minutes. Like the guy right behind me." The Rotom that had been about to tap Leo on the shoulder, causing him to swivel around and see a terrifying face, slowly backed away.

"Ah, look, and here comes the Mayor and the Arceans," Skullker commented as three ghosts exited town hall: a Drifblim wearing spectacles and a bow tie, the familiar black robed Sableye that was Father Yamiri, and a rather large Dusknoir wearing white, red, and gold robes that had to be his mentor and old friend, Master Yon. Father Yamiri raised a hand to wave to Ash and Pikachu as he saw them, and they waved back.

"Good, now we can get down to business on stopping whatever evil's going on here and getting the next Star Badge," Pikachu said. They advanced across the square towards the ghosts waiting on the steps…

When suddenly Sasha (and every other Absol nearby) stiffened, pupils shrinking as her disaster-sense went off. "Something terrible is about to happen."

A loud bell tolled somewhere. DONG! A shadow passed over the moon as clouds drifted across the sky. All the townsPokemon froze in their tracks. "Oh no," Skullker whispered.

The bell tolled again. DONG! Doors slammed. Windows shut. Almost every ghost abruptly vanished, and the living Pokemon rushed inside. "What's happening? What's going on?!" Ash cried as Pikachu drew his sword.

The bell rang again. DONG! "It's happening!" Skullker cried. "Whenever those bells ring…a Ghost disappears!"

DONG! Eight energy balls suddenly appeared high in the air, orbiting in a ring. Each looked as if it was made of a different element, and had a black kanji symbol floating in the center of it. Pikachu immediately recognized them as the symbols for fire, wind, earth, water, poison, lightning, light, and darkness. The fur on his back rose and Thunder Fang crackled anxiously.

DONG! "That doesn't look good…" Leo muttered.

DONG! The energy balls abruptly converged, transforming into a large serpentine arrow burning with evil black flames. Ash didn't need his Aura-sight to know it was bad news.

DONG! The arrow flew through the air, hurtling downwards like a homing missile as it shot right towards…Skullker! "Oh no! No! Nonononono!" he screamed, trying to disappear or fly away, only to find himself frozen in place by an irresistible force. Ash got in front of the Duskull, trying to intercept the arrow with his Aura-enhanced reflexes or even his own body if necessary…but when he tried to grab the arrow, it passed right through his paw, and then his entire _body_, as if he wasn't even there! He shuddered and doubled over in pain, feeling inexplicably cold and getting the sensation that something unimaginably evil had just touched him, and he was lucky to have emerged unharmed. The arrow pierced Skullker, causing him to cry out in pain as it exploded in a brilliant flash of purple light.

DONG! A swirling vortex formed behind the Duskull, purple energy serpents shooting out and grabbing Skullker. "AAAHHH! HELP! HELP! SOMEBODY HELP ME!" he screamed as the snakes started dragging him into the vortex.

"Hang on!" Ash grabbed the Duskull by the tail, and immediately had to dig his heels into the ground to keep from being pulled into the vortex as well. Whatever this thing was, it was _strong._

"I got your back, mon!" Leo said, grabbing Ash's leg. Tiny grabbed Ash's other leg.

"And I have yours," Sasha said, biting into Leo's tail.

"Ow! The heck's that for?!" the Squirtle cried.

"I lack opposable thumbs, and Tiny would react badly if I bit his tail, so this is the only way I can help out," Sasha mumbled around her mouthful of Leo's tail.

"What? I have no idea what you just said because my tail is in your mouth," Leo said.

Pikachu drew his sword and ran around his friends to attack the source of the threat directly, slicing at the serpents with his sword. Thunder Fang was able to destroy the energy tendrils in a single blow, but new ones kept popping out of the portal and latching onto Skullker faster than he could cut them off. "Those kanji…these serpents…could this be Yamatorochi's work?"

"Who cares?! JUST GET ME OUT OF HERE!" Skullker screamed.

Ash grunted and slid forward another few inches, despite his friends' attempts to pull him back. "Ugh…this thing is too strong! We can't do this alone!"

"Then it is a good thing that we are here, Ash," Yamiri said as he, the Mayor, and Master Yon arrived.

The Mayor wrapped his limbs around Sasha's tail blade and started tugging. "I don't know how much I can do, but I'll be damned if I let another one of my citizens get taken by this monster!"

"Yamiri, try the spell we have been working on. See if it has any effect on this evil!" Master Yon ordered Yamiri in a deep, resonant voice.

Yamiri nodded. "Very well. But will you not be joining me?"

Yon shook his head and parted his robes to reveal his chest, which was covered in magnificent tattoos reminiscent of the religious images Arceans used in their texts and temples. "No…I have other ways to render assistance!" He floated several meters back and opened the mouth on his chest. The black hole inside his body swirled to life, creating a powerful vacuum that began to suck the air out of the square, drawing loose debris and scraps of paper and other things into its infinite darkness. It also generated a mighty force that exerted itself on the heroes trying to save Skullker, slowly pulling them back from the vortex. "I think it's working! We're gaining ground!" Ash cried.

"Not enough, though," Pikachu said in frustration, severing serpent after serpent. "This thing just keeps coming!"

"Perhaps I can do something about that," Yamiri said, clasping his hands in prayer. He began to chant under his breath, a pearlescent glow forming around him. That same glow enveloped the snakes, causing them to move slower and regenerate less quickly.

"He's weakening them! Nice!" Leo said.

"Still not enough! Even with that and Yon helping us, I'm still only barely able to hold him," Ash said anxiously. "I think I'm losing my grip!"

"Don't let go! Please! Whatever you do, DON'T LET GO!" Skullker wailed.

"I'm trying!" Ash growled back, eyes and teeth clenched shut in concentration as beads of sweat rolled down his face. He focused his power, calling upon his Aura to strengthen him. Blue flame engulfed his body, and Leo almost let go out of surprise until he realized the fire wasn't burning him.

"Just a little longer, Ash! I think I can get rid of these things for good if you give me a few more seconds!" Pikachu said as he renewed his assault on the serpents, Yamiri's chant allowing him to gain ground in his quest to exterminate them.

"I don't know if I can last that long…I can't keep this power boost going!" Ash grunted. The cobblestones under his feet were split and cratered from the force with which his heels were dug into them, and they crumbled further as he exerted more of his strength to try not to let Skullker fall into the vortex.

"We need help!" Leo cried. "Even with us all working together, it's still not enough!"

"More help? Then…EVERYONE!" the Mayor shouted. "People of Twilight's Edge! We need you! Another one of our brothers is on the verge of being taken from us, just like all the rest…but we still might have a chance! With your help, we just might be able to save him! We might be able to stop this! We might be able to take our first step towards ridding our town of this menace forever! Are you with me?"

His cry for aid echoed throughout the square, and then went silent. No doors or windows opened. Not a single Pokemon appeared. Their hearts sank. "No…" Leo whispered.

"I-I don't understand…why haven't they come?!" the Mayor cried in dismay.

"Maybe they didn't hear you?" Sasha suggested uncertainly.

"They will come…I'm certain of it!" Yon said.

If they were, it didn't look like they would arrive anytime soon. "Skullker…everyone…I-I'm sorry," Ash gasped, his form trembling and Aura weakening. "I can't…I can't hold on any longer!"

"Ash, no!" Pikachu cried. "Just hang on a little more and I can-"

But it was too late. Ash's paws, weakened and numbed from the effort of the last few minutes, weakened ever so slightly…allowing Skullker's tail to slip from his grasp as Ash and everyone else tumbled backward. The Duskull screamed as the serpents dragged him towards the vortex, ignoring Pikachu's desperate attempts to slice through all of them before it was too late…

But then, just before Skullker could vanish into the dread portal, a purple hand shot out and grabbed his tail again. "Hold on!" the Haunter from before cried as dozens of other Ghosts formed up behind him to create a Pokemon chain. "We've got you!"

Several living Pokemon rushed over as well and helped Ash and the others get back up. "Come on, before they lose their grip too!" a Mightyena called.

Ash nodded. "Right!" He quickly grabbed the tail of the Ghost at the…well, tail of the chain, and the others grabbed onto him, and the other newcomer Pokemon held onto them and the rest of the Ghost chain, and, with all the strength in their bodies—and the suction from Master Yon's black hole—_pulled._

A gleefully sobbing Skullker was pulled back from the brink of the portal, stretching the snakes out to their thinnest as they desperately tried to tug him into the depths, giving Pikachu the opportunity he needed. With a cry, he leaped into the air, raised Thunder Fang over his head, and brought it down with a devastating electric chop, destroying all the serpents at once. The severed ends of the tendrils were sucked back into the portal, which irised shut with a clap of thunder as everyone who had been pulling fell backwards onto each other, creating a big pile. Master Yon quickly closed his mouth before anyone could get sucked inside, and a relieved Yamiri stopped his chanting. "Is everyone all right?" the priest called.

Skullker hopped off the top of the pile, dancing in delight and patting himself all over. "I'm undead! I'm undead! I'm still _undead!_ I can't believe it…I'M OKAY!"

"D-did we just do what I think we did?" a Gastly asked as the other Ghosts floated off the pile and everyone pulled themselves up.

"If what you think we did is that we managed to save someone from getting taken by that…whatever-it-is, then yeah! That's exactly what happened!" a Swalot said excitedly.

"We did it! We beat the evil thing for once! Woohoo!" a Shuppet cried.

"We rock!" another shouted.

"YEAH! HOORAY!"

All the townsPokemon started cheering and dancing around joyfully. "Wow," Ash said, rubbing his sore paws. "They look happy. I mean, I'm glad we succeeded too, but…"

"They have good reason to celebrate," the Mayor explained. "That incident you just saw has happened to us one hundred and eight times now. One hundred and seven times before it has claimed one of our citizens, and there was nothing we could do to stop it. That we managed to thwart our enemy's schemes this one time, to save one soul…it's shown us we might not be helpless, after all. It has given us hope, which we were badly in need of. For granting us such a wonderful gift, we are in your debt…and will be even more so if you can fulfill those hopes and save our town from this evil forever!"

"We'll certainly do our best," Sasha promised.

"What was that thing, anyway?" Leo wondered.

"I saw snakes…" Pikachu murmured. "And there were eight elemental kanji, and a bell that rang eight times. Is Yamatorochi involved?"

"That is something Yamiri and I intend to find out," Master Yon said. He bowed graciously. "Allow me to introduce myself. I am Yon, a Master First Rank of the Arcean Order. I came to this town for the same reason as you, to save it from this evil, and I think that by working together we just might be able to do that."

"Well, we didn't technically come to save the town," Ash admitted. "But after we heard there was trouble—and now that we've seen just what's going on here—we'll be more than happy to help you guys!"

Father Yamiri smiled and nodded. "I knew that you would. You are a Rescue Team, after all. It is not your way to turn your backs on those in need."

"Just as it is not mine," Yon agreed. "I have heard much of your exploits, Team Aurabolt, and I will be happy to fight by your side."

"Same here, Master," Pikachu said reverently.

"But what exactly _are_ we fighting against, anyway?" Leo asked again.

"We aren't entirely certain yet," Yamiri admitted. "But we'll know soon enough, when we storm the evil's lair and confront it with all the power at our disposal!"

Ash smirked and cracked his knuckles. "Sounds like a good fight. You can count on me!"

"Ash, I've told you before not to do that, it's really annoying," Pikachu scolded Ash.

"Oh. Sorry," Ash said Mareepishly.

"So you aren't entirely sure what's behind all of this?" Sasha asked.

"Not entirely…but we do have a few ideas," Yon said. "And we know where the villain is hiding out, so it's just a matter of getting in there and defeating him. With Ash's Aura power, Pikachu's legendary sword, and the holy magic Yamiri and I possess, that shouldn't be much of a problem."

"Come, let's go inside to discuss this," the Mayor offered. "My wife should have finished some blood pudding and pumpkin pie by now. It's the talk of the town, and to die and come back from the dead for!"

Leo licked his lips. "Mmm, sounds good to me!" Tiny sucked his pacifier in agreement.

"There isn't any actual blood in it, is there?" Pikachu asked cautiously as they headed back for town hall, leaving the celebrating townsPokemon behind.

"Well of course there is, it wouldn't be blood pudding without a liter of Piloswine blood!" the Mayor said. "Obtained through harmless legal means, of course."

Pikachu sighed. "Of course."

"Piloswine? Mmm, I haven't had any of that in a while," Sasha commented.

"Weren't those steaks from before enough for you?" Ash asked.

"You mean the steaks you told me not to eat and dragged us off from before I could get my fill?" Sasha countered.

"Touche," Ash admitted.

They climbed up the steps and started inside. "Oh, mind the-" the Mayor started. Without warning, the 'jaws' over the door shot down towards them, the great stone fangs freezing only inches away from impaling their heads, giving them quite a start. "-Portcullis. It does that sometimes," the Mayor apologized.

Leo laughed as the teeth rose back up. "Cool! I love this town!"

"I don't," Pikachu grumbled.

"You've hated almost every town we've been to since we got to Sinnorre," Ash observed.

"I thought Turtle Town was perfectly nice after the dragon was gone," Pikachu replied. "And I'm sure I would have liked the Tree of Beginning had it not been invaded by the Nihilators and subsequently destroyed. And it's not that I don't like the people here, just…their main form of entertainment…"

"I don't like all the scares myself, but…well, to each their own, I guess," Ash said.

"I suppose so…" Pikachu relented.

"Hey guys, come and take a look at this! There's a cool mirror that shows your reflection flanked by a couple of scary-looking ghosts that aren't really there!" Leo called.

"Yes we are," said one of the ghosts floating next to Leo.

"Oh. Sorry, didn't see you there," Leo apologized.

"It's okay, you weren't supposed to," the other ghost said.

Ash and Pikachu sweatdropped. "We should probably go make sure he doesn't get his head chopped off or something," Ash commented.

"Yeah…probably," Pikachu agreed. They went inside the building. Neither were particularly surprised when the 'jaws' slammed shut behind them.

They _were_ surprised that Tiny got stuck outside, however, so they had to go back out to get him. That was unpleasant for everyone.

…

Meanwhile, in the town graveyard…

Twilight Edge's graveyard was peaceful and quiet, like most graveyards were supposed to be. The fact that this was the graveyard of a ghost town didn't make much of a difference…after all, would _you_ really want to hang around your worm-eaten corpse if you had much of a choice?

Several of the graves—which numbered in the hundreds—had rather large gaping holes in them, and their stone markers were rather off-kilter, a sad consequence of the wicked vampire Jurgen reanimating the dead buried there to serve in his zombie army. The Ghosts were not happy about that, after all, would _you_ like to see your vacant worm-eaten corpse walking around attacking people if you had much of a choice? They intended to get around to fixing the graves once Jurgen was put down and they didn't have to worry about anymore zombies popping up. That stuff was bad for business.

Graves weren't all that were in the graveyard, though. There were also quite a few crypts and tombs, some of which were centuries old, erected by rather wealthy and powerful Pokemon to house the remains of themselves and/or their entire families, if they were so inclined to share. Many Pokemon who feared death had arranged for such elaborate funerary structures to be constructed in Twilight's Edge, for it was rumored that because of the dark magic permeating the land anyone who was buried in the town's soil would come back as a Ghost. (This was not entirely true, but the locals did nothing to discourage the rumors, since it gave them good PR and extra revenue.) No zombies had emerged from these stone edifices, though that might have been less because Jurgen's necromancy hadn't touched them and more because the brain-dead zombies couldn't undo the locked doors from the inside.

However, there were other evils that were more than capable of breaking in…

The temperature in the graveyard dropped below freezing, as clouds drifted overhead to blot out the moon and the stars. A chill wind howled between the stone markers, frost coated the grass, and unseasonably early snow began to fall. A cloud of snow and ice swirled together on the ground and burst apart in a flurry of frozen crystals, revealing the witches Bellum, Marianne, and Lily. Bellum sighed happily and spread her arms as she took in the fresh snow and the graves all around her. "Ah, Twilight's Edge…it has been decades since last we came here, hasn't it girls? The darkness in the air is intoxicating…were it not for the warrants on our heads here, I would never wish to leave this place of endless night."

"Bzzzbzzbzzz," Marianne buzzed in agreement.

"Why have we come here, Mother?" Lily asked.

"A good question, Lily. We have returned to this place after such a long absence in search of power. Come!" She drifted across the snow towards one of the nearby crypts. Her daughters dutifully followed her.

The carvings on the crypt brought a frozen northern wasteland to mind, with carved icicles dripping from the overhang and statues of noble and formidable-looking Ice-types posing in alcoves on the façade. The double doors leading into the crypt had a large seal shaped like a snowflake holding them shut. Bellum ran a hand over the seal, frost forming on the doors as she touched them. "Ah, the Yukihime family crypt…where countless dozens of my ancestors have been entombed for generations. The fools…if they had known what sort of enchantress their descendant would become, they might have been more careful about leaving their remains out where someone like myself could get her hands on them." She turned to her daughters. "Marianne, you will come inside with me. Lily, stay here and keep watch. If anyone living sees you, kill them. If anyone dead sees you, kill them more. If you leave this spot for any other reason, I will know, and will lock you inside a Ghost-proof Iron maiden and bury you for a week."

"Yes, Mother," Lily said meekly. Marianne snickered. Bellum smiled haughtily, then turned and phased through the crypt door, causing more frost to cover it. That frost was melted when Marianne passed through after her, causing the sealed entrance to crackle with residual static. Lily obediently turned away and hovered next to the door, staring out across the graveyard, her senses stretched out to detect any intruders.

_Now is your best chance to escape,_ B said inside her head.

"Escape? Don't be ridiculous. Mother would find me wherever I went. She always knows where I am. And when she found me…" Lily trailed off, not even wanting to think about the horrible things her mother would do as punishment.

_Do not be so sure. I have a feeling that the key to your freedom is close at hand,_ B said.

"Freedom? What are you talking about?" Lily asked.

_Just wait. You will see soon enough,_ B said.

Lily sighed. "B, I never understand what you're talking about. Then again, considering that I'm insane and you're a figment of my imagination, I suppose that's to be expected."

B giggled. _Just keep telling yourself that. We may wind up meeting each other for real sooner than you think._

Lily frowned in puzzlement. "What do you mean?" There was no reply. "B?" The voice in her head was silent. Lily sighed and went back to keeping a cold, lonely vigil over the cemetery. "I hate it when she does that."

…

Meanwhile, in Pokemon Square…

"I've finished setting up the shields," Sabrina announced to the Mayor, Scotty, Nurse Joy, Aaron, Raiki, Nuken, and an uncomfortable-looking Bagon that had once been Rayquaza. "Now nobody can spy on us and overhear what we are talking about through any physical, mechanical, magical, or psychic means."

The Mayor nodded in relief. "Good. Then everything we discuss here today will stay between the nine of us…so long as nobody goes blabbing, that is."

"There is no danger of that, the hypnotic conditioning I gave everyone before we started will subconsciously keep any of us from revealing what we talk about today to anyone except someone else who was present at this meeting," Sabrina assured the Whiscash.

Aaron frowned. "Wait, when did you do this?"

"A few minutes ago. I erased your memory of it when I was done," Sabrina said.

"Oh," said Aaron.

Scotty frowned. "Wait, did we agree tae that?"

"You might have, you might have not. You'll never know for sure," Sabrina said. The old Abra grumbled under his breath.

"What exactly is on the agenda for today, Mayor?" Nurse Joy asked.

"Yeah, what's the fuss all about?" Raiki asked.

"Today, two great secrets will be revealed," the Mayor said. "I will explain the truth about Pokemon Square and why its destruction could trigger the end of the world…including how Nurse Joy is connected to this truth, albeit tangentially."

The Blissey fidgeted. "Must we? I don't really want to talk about that…"

"They need to know sooner or later," the Mayor said. "And if I'm telling them everything else, I might as well mention that, too."

Joy sighed. "I suppose so…"

"What are you talking about?" asked a puzzled Aaron. "How is Nurse Joy related to the town's secret?"

"All Joys everywhere are, actually," the Mayor said. "But I'll get into that later. The other secret which will be revealed is why the being we all thought was Rayquaza was actually just a Bagon masquerading as the avatar of the Dragon God King."

The Bagon in question sighed. "I hoped this day would never come…"

"As did I, my liege," Nuken said apologetically.

"Why are we the only ones who are going to be privy to these secrets?" Raiki asked. "Why not the other Rescue team leaders and town officials?"

"Because out of everyone in Pokemon Square, it is you that I feel I can trust the most," the Mayor said. "Plus, most of you were on the scene when it was discovered that Rayquaza was not, in fact, Rayquaza, so I figured hey, if they already know a little about one big secret, I might as well tell them the other big one too." They sweatdropped.

"Then should Latios be here too?" Scotty asked.

Joy shook her head. "He hasn't left his sister's side since she fell into that coma, the poor thing…"

"I'd rather he not be here, anyway," the Bagon admitted. "He already blames me for Latias's condition, which I agree with wholeheartedly. If he knew the full truth, I'm sure he'd find some way to hate me even more than he already does."

"He should probably know the whole story anyway. I'll tell it to him later," Sabrina said.

"Wait, I thought ye hypnotized us so we couldnae tell anyone," Scotty protested.

"I did," Sabrina said. "I never said I did anything to myself, though." They gave her annoyed looks.

"By the way, are we any closer to figuring out just what went wrong with the summoning yet?" the Mayor asked.

Sabrina shook her head. "I'm still working on it. I'm hoping that when Latias wakes up, she can give us some answers. If not…then perhaps the story behind why Rayquaza is not Rayquaza will shed some light." The Bagon squirmed uncomfortably.

"In that case, let's hear his story first," the Mayor suggested. "While I'm sure the revelations will be enormous, I doubt they will be quite as earth-shaking and fundament-questioning as what I have to tell you all."

Nuken bristled. "How can you say that?! If word were to ever get out that the being who has ruled the Draconian Empire for the last few hundred years has not, in fact, been the direct descendant of the Dragon God King but a, well, substitute—sorry, my liege—"

"No problem," the Bagon said with a sigh.

"There would be utter chaos if the Empire's subjects and worshippers were to learn that their divine ruler has, while in _essence_ still been in office, in person, well, not so much," Nuken said. "There would be riots and civil and possibly even holy war. Our holdings and domains would collapse on themselves. The world would descend into anarchy as, around the globe, powerful dragon and ghost warlords waged war on each other! The only reason things have held together so far is because we've told everyone that a mistake in the summoning spell accidentally and, most importantly, _temporarily_ turned the King into a Bagon, and we're working as hard as we can to correct the problem…and even then, far too many questions for my liking are being asked! How can you say that our secret could possibly be less important than whatever it is you have to tell us about the nature of Pokemon Square?"

The Mayor laughed bitterly. "Oh, you'd be surprised…"

"It's all right, Nuken," the Bagon said wearily. "If the truth must be told, then we might as well get it out of the way first."

Nuken hesitated. "I…very well, your Majesty. If that is your desire."

"You seem oddly subservient to a guy who's basically just an impostor king and figurehead," Raiki commented. "I was expecting you to be the real power behind the throne, not a loyal servant."

Nuken scoffed. "Ha! Shows what you know. I have been His Majesty's most loyal servant ever since I hatched. My loyalty to him is so strong that I continued serving him even after I died. Well, more like was split off from my Ninjask 'other half,' but it's the same difference. Even though in many ways he is not quite the true avatar of the Dragon God King, his predecessor chose him to take his place…and so I serve him faithfully and assist him as best I can, just as I served the original Rayquaza."

"Speaking of which…I think it's about time you explained what happened to the original Rayquaza, and how our friend here wound up taking his place," Aaron said.

"Well…" The Bagon took a deep breath, and then began his tale. "It all started about three or so hundred years ago…"

…

Meanwhile, in the Olive Jungle…

The sun was shining down brightly on thousands of screaming Pokemon assembled in force-field shielded stadium seats next to a large racetrack that had been paved through the jungle, destroying miles of old-growth forest and depriving thousands of wild Pokemon of their homes. None of the bystanders particularly cared about that unpleasant fact, and why should they, when something as epic as the event about to begin was taking place? "Hellooooo, racing fans!" the announcer shouted from his booth overlooking the track. "It's another bright, sunny day in Summerland, land of eternal summer, as the name implies! The perfect day for the final race in the P1 Grand Prix! The greatest racers in the world have gathered here today for this last trial of speed, driving mastery, and beating the stuffing out of each other with wacky items and gadgets! Whichever team wins this race will receive a grand total of five billion Poke' and the coveted Prix Cup! Who will it be? The obviously evil Rick Recreant and his sidekick Chumley? The celebrity couple Penelope Perfect and Peter Pitstop? The classy Volbeat Mob? The hammer-happy Sledge Brothers? The enigmatic Racer Y? Or even the last-minute substitutes known as Team Nightshade, driving the Mach 6? It could go either way, folks, so if you haven't already, place your bets, because this is going to be one hell of a race!" The crowd cheered, and the racers smirked and waved up at them, enjoying the adulation.

Maren and Mary glanced anxiously over at the Heracross wearing a tool belt sitting next to them. "What do you think their chances are?" Mary asked.

The Heracross, a mechanic who went by the name of Torque, sighed and crossed his arms over his chest. "I dunno…Gary seems to have some inkling of how to drive, and he did okay on the practice courses. And Evan seems to be a natural at grabbing items and throwing them at other people, potentially causing them to crash and go up in flames. However, driving a regular car is a lot different from driving a racecar…especially in _this_ race." He sighed. "Truth is, if it weren't for the fact that my regular drivers, Ace Racer and Chim-Chim, hadn't mysteriously suffered horrible life-threatening injuries just before today's big race and had to be rushed to the hospital, I would never have agreed to let your friends drive for my team. Pretty lucky for them, huh?"

"Eheh…yeah…lucky…" Maren laughed nervously.

"Imagine that…what a coincidence, huh?" Mary said with a much straighter face.

Gary and Evan were seated in a snazzy white racecar with a red M painted on the hood down on the track, engine revving as they prepared to race. Both were wearing crash helmets, goggles, and scarves in addition to their Rescue Team badges. "All set back there, Evan?" Gary, who had the wheel asked Evan, who was in the back seat.

Evan nodded happily. "All ssset, Gary! I'm looking forward to thisss. I love throwing ssstuff at people and posssibly causssing them ssseriousss bodily harm with no negative repercusssionsss whatsssoever!"

Gary nodded in agreement. "Yeah, we should have gotten into this racing thing a long time ago!"

In case it wasn't already obvious, Team Nightshade was in this race because the Prix Cup trophy just happened to contain a piece of the magical compass. They had seen it on display upon arriving to the racing stadium just a few days ago, and knew at once they needed to enter the Grand Prix to win it. (Well, actually, Gary had suggested they just steal it, but Maren insisted they do something by legal means for a change. Gary relented, but more because the security on the Cup was too tight than because he thought she was right.) Unfortunately, the Grand Prix had already been going on for about a week by the time they had gotten there, so it was too late for them to enter as a new team. (And even if they had, they didn't have a car of their own, which presented a bit of a problem.) Fortunately, one of the driving teams had suffered a freak accident which was in no way connected to Team Nightshade at all (or was it?) and so the antiheroes were able to convince that team's manager and mechanic, Torque, to let them enter the race as substitutes so his team could still have a chance of bringing home the gold. Reluctantly, Torque had agreed. And that's how Gary and Evan found themselves in their present position, ready to compete in a wild and crazy race in the very slim hopes that they could somehow get in first place and win the Cup, and with it the compass piece they needed. (Fortunately, Gary had a backup plan just in case they lost. It involved faking a terrorist attack, a pair of chopsticks, and several spools of string. No, I'm not going to explain it, figure it out for yourself.)

"I think it's about to start," Gary said as a Castform floated over the starting line, holding what looked like a traffic light. "Hold on tight!"

"Right!" Evan said, wrapping his tail around his seat.

"And there's the Castform, ready to start the race!" the announcer said. "He's got out the starting lights…the race should begin in 3…" A red bulb flashed on the Castform's light. "2…" A yellow bulb flashed. "1…" A green bulb flashed. "GOOOOOO!"

With a great roar from the crowd, all the cars zoomed across the starting line and down the track, throwing up a huge din and cloud of smoke…

All of them except for Gary and Evan, that is. "Gary, we're going backwardsss!" Evan hissed in alarm.

"Whoops, sorry, I'm not used to driving a stick," Gary apologized. He shifted gears, and their car started going forwards after the other racers…in dead last.

"It looks like Team Nightshade seems to be having some difficulty, folks…they'll have to work really hard if they're going to catch up to the rest of the racers! Whoever placed bets on them winning may wish they had picked someone else…" the announcer said. Several Pokemon in the audience swore and tore up their betting stubs in frustration.

Torque moaned and put his face in his hands. "We're sunk."

"Don't worry," Mary said. "Gary and Evan will find a way."

"Do you really think so?" Maren asked.

"No," Mary said. "Which is why we're going to sneak over to the Cup and try to steal it while everyone's focused on the race. Come on."

Maren sighed and got up to follow Mary, wondering how it had come to this. She was a special agent or the Mirage Kingdom, how'd she wind up becoming the accomplice of a bunch of crooks like Team Nightshade?! _It's all for Princess Sara and the Kingdom,_ she reminded herself for the hundredth time. _That should be all the reason I need to do this…_

_Even so, I'd better get a frigging medal when this is all over…_

…

And that's that! Happy to start a new arc? So am I! And what an arc this is going to be!

Not sure when the next chapter will be up, since finals are next week. I should have something ready before the end of the month, though, so keep your eyes open, and thanks for reading this far!


	33. A Dragon's Tale

Finals are finished, and the semester is over! Now I have more than enough time to write this chapter. Rejoice, and enjoy this Christmas present. Unless you don't celebrate Christmas. Then it's a holiday present. Whatever.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

"So," the Mayor of Twilight's Edge, the Drifblim named Tonio, said. "I suppose the best place to start is with the legend of Yamatorochi. That's where all of this begins, really."

Team Aurabolt and the Arceans were gathered in the Mayor's office, munching on the tea and snacks the Mayor's wife, a lovely Infernape named Alice, had offered them. The office was, like everything else in Twilight's Edge, suitably creepy. The wallpaper was peeling, there were holes in the ceiling, the floorboards creaked ominously, a rather intimidating black wrought-iron chandelier dangled over them, grotesque statues and gargoyles stood here and there, and there were rather sinister-looking portraits on the wall of past Mayors whose eyes seemed to follow them around the room no matter where they were standing. (They were following them; actually, the eyes were mounted on swivel joints with motion-detecting sensors so that they were always pointing at whatever was moving at the moment.) The Mayor sat in a throne-like chair behind an appropriately imposing black deck littered with paperwork and what looked like miniature torture devices, large glass doors and floor-to-ceiling windows lining the wall behind him and opening onto to a balcony that overlooked the twisted spires and dilapidated manors of the town sprawled out below them. The heroes were seated in rather spiky and fearsome-looking chairs that were surprisingly comfortable once you sat in them. In fact, they find it difficult to pull themselves out of them when it was time to leave…

"That won't be necessary," Pikachu said. "Most of us are familiar with the legend already."

Leo nodded. "Yeah, I read about it on the Internet."

"And even I heard the story out in the wilderness, where we don't tend to get a lot of news," Sasha said.

"I never heard it," Ash said. "And neither has Tiny."

Pikachu frowned. "Ash, my dad's told that story to my little brother in your presence at least a dozen times."

"Oh. Well…uh…I must not have been paying attention," Ash said, fidgeting guiltily.

"Much like you don't pay attention to my sermons at the temple?" Yamiri asked.

Ash flushed Mareepishly. "…Maybe."

Tonio frowned. "Well…even if you _do_ know the legend, I feel like I should tell it anyway, to put the present situation into context. Besides, it's a scary story, and in this town we pride ourselves on telling such tales. It's tradition."

"Well, all right," Pikachu relented. "I suppose it would be interesting to hear about it from someone who was around at the time."

"Right," Tonio said. "Let me just set the mood." He flipped a couple of switches on his desk. Large Mothim-eaten curtains covered the windows behind him. The lights went out, and several large ornate candelabras flickered to life around the room. The Mayor got out of his chair and floated over to one of them so that the light from the candles flickered across his face eerily. "Okay, everyone ready?"

"Sure," Ash said, holding a rather bored Tiny in his lap.

"This should be great; I love a good scary story!" Leo said eagerly.

"Begin, please," Yon said politely.

The Mayor nodded, the candlelight dancing across his spherical form. "All right. The story begins approximately two hundred years ago, when I was but a wee Drifloon, freshly dead and getting into the hang of pretending to abduct kids to scare the bejeezus out of their parents," Tonio intoned.

"Every parent's worst nightmare," Sasha noted.

"Which was exactly the point," Tonio said. "Anyway, things in Twilight's Edge were fine and dandy. We scared people out of their minds and got lots of cash from living Pokemon wanting a good fright or who thought they could achieve immortality by being buried in our cemetery. But then, one dark day—darker than your average day in this place, I mean--the eight-headed serpent Yamatorochi, who held power over fire, water, earth, wind, poison, lightning, light, and darkness arrived, roaring that Twilight's Edge was now his dominion and that we spirits were to be his servants and meals, for he was ravenous and always hungry to consume Ghosts. We couldn't have any of that, naturally, so we fought back. It…didn't go well."

"It rarely does," Leo said sympathetically, knowing exactly what that was like.

"Yamatorochi was too powerful for our greatest fighters, and any Ghost he defeated was consumed right away. It was one of our worst fears made real…Yamatorochi was a monster capable of devouring souls, making him one of the biggest and most dangerous threats our kind, who are nothing _but_ souls, had ever faced. We were helpless against his power. He laid waste to the town, and then moved into the local temple, claiming it as his lair. After that we had a bit of a reprieve to rebuild and pick up the pieces of our broken town, but we didn't get too long to recover: the greedy beast declared that once a year, on the night of the full moon, he would ring his cursed bell eight times, and an arrow would come forth and mark one of us to be his next meal. If that chosen Ghost did not immediately offer him or herself up to the demon's hunger, Yamatorochi would devastate the town again, so we had no choice but to give in to his twisted demands."

"A bell? You mean like the one we heard just a little while ago?" Ash asked.

Tonio nodded. "The very same one!"

"What's an eight-headed snake doing with a bell?" Leo wondered.

"It is believed that that bell was a focus for his power," Yamiri said. "When Yamatorochi was eventually defeated, the bell remained intact. We were unable to destroy it, so the Arcean Order sealed it away in the ruins of his lair to keep anyone else from using it."

"It looks as if someone has managed to find it, though…" Pikachu murmured. "Unless the old serpent himself has come back from the grave."

"He could've used the bell as an anchor into the world of the living to resurrect himself," Leo suggested. "I've heard about that sort of thing."

Yon nodded. "There is precedent for such a thing, yes. However, we still have reason to doubt that it is Yamatorochi himself who has returned, and not some other evil being using his bell."

Sasha frowned, another matter puzzling her. "He ate once a year, on the night of the full moon? But…there is a full moon _several_ nights a year."

"We didn't feel it wise to point that out, in case it gave him the idea to eat more of us," Tonio said. "Giving up one of our own once a year was bad enough, but if he started preying on us in greater numbers…well, then that would be it for us, wouldn't it?"

"Why didn't the Arceans do anything to get rid of Yamatorochi, considering how you guys protect this town, and it was your temple he moved into?" Ash asked Yamiri and Yon. "Or Darkrai, for that matter, since he created this place to begin with?"

"Oh, we tried," Yamiri said. He sighed. "It didn't go well…"

"If Darkrai did not act directly, I'm sure he had a good reason," Sasha said firmly.

"He did help out, actually. At some point Darkrai appeared in a nightmare and told us that Yamatorochi was protected from attack by a barrier that could only be penetrated by lightning's bite," Yon explained. "And that only when a warrior wielding that power appeared could the beast be defeated."

Leo grimaced. "Lemme guess. Rather than seek out the Thunderblade family, who've wielded the sacred sword Thunder Fang for generations, you looked for Pokemon with Electric attacks, or at least knew the Thunder Fang technique, am I right?"

"Yes," said Yamiri.

"Pretty much," Yon agreed.

Leo groaned. "Typical prophecy twist…"

"Why _didn't_ you guys get one of my ancestors right away?" Pikachu asked.

Yon sighed and shrugged. "Eh, that's the thing about prophecies. They seem obvious in hindsight, but at the time they almost never mean what you think they mean. And when they _are_ what you think they mean, you automatically assume it actually means something else. As a result, it took decades of us doing it wrong before Darkrai finally got fed up and sent another nightmare telling us that he had been talking about the sword Thunder Fang, which should have been obvious from the start. And then he complained about what idiots we were. And then he ranted about how he didn't really want to deal with this on top of all his other problems, like his latest fight with Cresselia…"

Sasha frowned, and the others sweatdropped. "The gods are more like us than we know…" said Pikachu.

"Is that good or bad?" asked Ash.

"I'm not sure," said Pikachu.

"While Darkrai's second vision put us on the right track, it came at the wrong time," Yamiri said. "Your grandfather, Susanoo, was still just a Pichu, far too young to wield the sacred sword, and his father had died in battle—as is the custom in your family--just a few years before. So we needed to wait until Susanoo had reached the right age and proved himself in battle before he could fight Yamatorochi."

"And by the time he was ready, we had been tyrannized by the snake for a whole century…" Tonio said sadly. "It was too terrifying even for our kind! But when Susanoo came to town to fight Yamatorochi, we began to hope again. He stormed the desecrated temple, fighting his way through the hordes of Yamatorochi's minions, and challenged the serpent in his lair atop the bell tower. Yamatorochi had grown fat and lazy from all the decades of feeding on us and the warriors sent to defeat him, but he was still ready for another meal. However, Susanoo proved to be more than he could handle. The Pikachu samurai pierced Yamatorochi's barrier using Thunder Fang, shattering it and rendering the monster vulnerable to attack for the first time in over a hundred years. Yamatorochi found himself having to fight for his life against the warrior's tenacity and sacred blade…

"However, even Thunder Fang had trouble cutting through the snake's scales, thickened by the souls of all the Pokemon he had eaten over the last century. Growing desperate, Susanoo raised his sword to the heavens and prayed to Cresselia and the full moon for the strength to finish the battle. Moonlight touched his sword, infusing it with its power and causing it to turn golden. Empowered by the Moon goddess's blessing, Susanoo launched a final attack at Yamatorochi, severing each of the beast's heads with a single blow!"

"Cool!" said Leo.

"Wait, did he sever all eight at once, or cut off each head one at a time?" Ash asked.

"One at a time," Pikachu said.

"Oh," Ash said, looking disappointed. "It would have been more impressive if he'd cut them all off at once."

"Considering that each of Yamatorochi's necks was as thick as a tree trunk and his scales were hard enough to deflect Hyper Beams, I'd say it's nothing short of a miracle that he managed to cut through any of them at all," Yamiri said. "Then again, technically it was a miracle, wasn't it? Or at least divine intervention."

Ash blinked. "Huh. Yeah, when you put it that way…"

"As the demon's blood spilled onto the bell tower floor, the spirits of all his victims emerged from his disintegrating corpse, thanking brave Susanoo for freeing them from their torment before flying off into the hereafter," Tonio continued.

"What, none of them stuck around afterwards?" Leo asked.

"The Ghosts had lost too much of their ectoplasmic substance to Yamatorochi's stomach to remain in this world. They had no choice but to depart," Yon explained.

"Oh," said Leo. "Wait…they were inside of him all along? Everyone he'd ever eaten? But…um, then what happened when he needed to-"

"He only retained the _spirit_ of everything he ate. The rest was digested normally," Pikachu said quickly.

"Ah. Right," Leo said.

"Soon all that was left of Yamatorochi was the serpent's cursed bell. Susanoo attempted to destroy it, but the moon's power had fled his blade and so he was unable to shatter its form," Tonio continued. "The Arceans did their best to destroy it as well, fearing that Yamatorochi might be able to revive himself with it somehow, but it withstood all their best efforts. Eventually Darkrai appeared in another vision and told them that the one who had the power to destroy the relic would not be born for another hundred years or so, but they didn't have to go look for him or worry about Yamatorochi reviving or anything in the interim, and that the chosen Pokemon would find his way to Twilight's Edge when the time was right. Then he griped some more about the ups and downs of his relationship with Cresselia and how she was acting insufferable due to Susanoo praying to _her_ for help during the battle rather than him, and told us not to bother him again unless it was 'really important.'" The heroes sweatdropped again, save for Sasha, who was frowning deep in thought.

"Well, it's been about a hundred years since that battle, and considering that the shit hit the fan _now_ rather than earlier means Darkrai's prophecy must have been right," Leo observed. "Which also means…that the guy who can destroy the bell is probably one of us, since we needed to come here anyway, and Darkrai said the chosen Pokemon would find his way here on his own at the right time, which is probably now, don't you think?"

"It must be me, then," Pikachu concluded. "Seeing as my ancestor was the one who defeated Yamatorochi before, and I'm wielding the weapon that's his only weakness."

Yon nodded in agreement. "You are the most likely choice, yes."

"Then _is_ it Yamatorochi who's returned?" Ash asked. "Because you guys mentioned earlier it could be someone else, too."

"There is evidence to indicate it could be him or somebody else entirely," Yamiri said.

"The villain who's been causing all the disappearances is holed up in Yamatorochi's old lair, the abandoned temple. When the Arceans couldn't destroy the bell, they sealed the place off and we built a new one," Tonio said. "A couple of months ago, that bell started ringing again, and arrows like the one you saw earlier started appearing and shooting Ghosts, causing them to get dragged into portals by snake-like apparitions."

"Sounds like Yamatorochi to me," Leo commented.

"Except it doesn't entirely fit his pattern of predation in the past," Yon said. "Before, he would only claim one victim a year—aside from heroes who tried to slay him, that is—on the night of a full moon, and the chosen Ghost had to offer him or herself to Yamatorochi directly. Now, however, Ghosts are being abducted completely at random, with no apparent rhyme or reason and certainly no connection to phases of the moon. Sometimes up to a dozen get snatched a day, other times weeks pass without even one disappearing. And not only are the portals new, but an impenetrable barrier has formed around the old temple to keep anyone from getting in and challenging the fiend causing all this."

"Perhaps he's trying a different strategy because the last one didn't work so well for him?" Sasha suggested.

"That could be it. But it is just as possible that someone new is behind this, and is using the power lingering in Yamatorochi's bell for their own purposes," Yamiri said. "At the moment, we just don't know."

"We intend to find out, however," Yon said. "I have studied the barrier, and I believe that with the assistance of all of you, I can break it. Once inside, all we need to do is find the villain behind all this, stop him, and hopefully destroy that cursed bell once and for all."

"I get the feeling it's not going to be as easy as all that…but you can count on us!" Ash promised the priests.

"When do we head out?" Pikachu asked.

"Soon," Yon said. "I must meditate to gather the strength I will need to destroy the barrier. It should only take an hour or so, after which we can storm the temple and put an end to its menace for good."

"We must move quickly, because we fear whoever is behind this is doing more with the captured Ghosts than just eating their souls," Yamiri said. "The evil bell has rung one hundred and eight times now, and one hundred and seven Ghosts have been taken."

Sasha frowned. "Is that number significant?"

"We think it is," said Yamiri.

Leo snapped his fingers. "Yeah, that's right, one hundred and eight is supposed to be some big mystical number, right?"

"That is correct," said Yon.

"We fear that if our foe manages to obtain one hundred and eight souls, he might be able to perform a magic of great and deadly power…though what that magic is, we don't know just yet," Yamiri said.

"Which is why it is so urgent that we strike before he claims another victim," said Yon. "We just barely managed to stop him from claiming what could have been his final victim earlier. If he tries again, and we fail to stop him…"

"Then something very bad will happen," Sasha finished.

"That's an understatement," Leo said deadpan.

"You guys really don't know what our enemy plans to do with those souls?" Ash asked.

The priests shook their head. "No. There are many things a Pokemon could do with one hundred and eight souls. Few of them are good," Yamiri said.

"Does creating a Spirittomb count as a good thing or a bad thing?" Leo asked. "Because on the one hand, you're (hopefully) sealing away one hundred really bad guys. On the other, you're merging them together into one super-evil bad guy."

"The Arcean Order actually debated on that for a while," Yon said. "That's why you don't see many Spirittombs around these days. It's dangerous to make them."

"But I doubt our foe is doing something as simple as making a Spirittomb…there are far darker purposes that many souls can be used for," Yamiri said.

"Then it's up to us to stop this guy before he can get that many," Ash said.

Pikachu nodded. "Master Yon, take all the time you need to gather your strength. We'll keep watch and try to make sure nobody else gets taken while you're meditating. It wouldn't do to let our enemy get a potentially major advantage just before we plan to face him, now would it?"

Yon nodded in agreement. "It certainly wouldn't. I will feel safer knowing you are watching over things in my brief absence."

"Master Yon, you can use any room in the building for your preparations," Tonio said generously. "Just say the word, and we'll find a place to accommodate you."

"That is very generous of you. I will not need a large space, anywhere quiet and secluded will do," Yon said gratefully.

"And while you make your preparations, we'll make ours," Ash said.

Leo nodded in agreement. "Yeah, and then we'll cut off that old snake's heads again! Assuming it's him, that is."

"And I'm the one who'll be doing the cutting," Pikachu pointed out.

"Then what'm I supposed to do?" Leo complained.

"Act as bait?" Sasha offered.

"…" Leo sighed. "If it weren't for the fact that I probably _would_ make a good distraction, I'd be really annoyed you said that. Well, I'm annoyed you said it anyway, but…eh." Tiny sucked his pacifier.

…

Some time later…

After Master Yon had locked himself in the Mayor's study to meditate, everyone else settled down to wait a little impatiently in one of the sitting rooms while the Mayor's wife served them some more snacks. Ash had decided to do some meditating of his own to try and get some other Aura tricks he had read about in his book working for him, Leo was on his computer, Tiny was playing (a little too enthusiastically)with a voodoo doll the Mayor's wife had given him, Sasha was napping, and Pikachu was talking with Father Yamiri. "I am glad to see you well, Pikachu," the Sableye said. "While I was sure you would survive everything Sinnorre could throw at you, I have to admit I was more than a little worried when I heard the reports of your adventures."

"We've had a few tough scrapes, yeah," Pikachu admitted. "But we've survived this long, and we intend to see this quest through to its end, and save the world and the friends the Nihilators have taken from us." He glanced at the priest. "I don't suppose that when you're done here you'd care to join us? We could use your help fighting them, and Leo seems to be adamant that we pick up at least one new party member wherever we go."

Yamiri shook his head regretfully. "Sadly, I cannot. Though I would love to help you, I feel I am needed too much back at Pokemon Square…for one thing; I need to rebuild my temple. That's going to take a while…"

"Awww, I was hoping you'd join the team. We could use a good spellcaster," Leo complained, closing his laptop. "Oh well, I suppose you and Master Yon will make a couple of good temps until we can find a proper sixth teammate."

"Why do you think we're even going to get one? Isn't five enough?" Pikachu asked.

Leo shook his head. "Nuh-uh! There's always a sixth Ranger. And possibly a seventh." Pikachu and Yamiri stared at him blankly. "…Never mind. You wouldn't get it."

"No, we wouldn't," Pikachu agreed.

"I do not understand most of the things he speaks of," Yamiri confessed quietly.

"His brain's melted from watching too much television and playing too many video games. He thinks the rules that work in those settings are applicable to real life." Pikachu hesitated. "…The creepy thing is, he might be right…"

Leo sat down next to them on the couch, the cushions making a sound like a hundred wailing souls as he sank his weight into them. "So, Yamiri…I heard that you're a reformed bad guy. Do you ever miss being an evil, murderous bastard?"

"Leo!" Pikachu said sharply.

"It's all right," Yamiri said. "No, I don't miss it very much. I was not a very nice person when I was alive. I'm glad that I was given a chance to make up for my sins by becoming a Ghost and joining the Arcean Order."

Leo nodded. "Think you've redeemed yourself?"

"I'd like to think so," Yamiri said. "The guilt never fully goes away, though. It's actually a driving force for many of the good deeds we of the Order perform."

"Oh?" Pikachu asked. This was new to him.

"As you know, many of the Arcean priests are Ghosts. What you might not know is that a significant number of us were criminals when we were alive. Even Yon!" Yamiri explained. "For whatever reason, we realized the error of our ways, and dedicated our afterlives to try and make amends for the things we did in life. It's a form of penance."

"Is that so?" Leo murmured. "Interesting…you guys must have been really bad when you were alive to be so determined to be so good now."

"You have no idea," Yamiri said sadly.

"Hey, Yamiri…you were born in Treasure Town, right?" Pikachu recalled. "I don't suppose a few of the other reformed Arcean priests are from there as well, are they?"

Yamiri nodded. "A good guess, considering that town is one of the evilest places on Earth, but no. For whatever reason, nobody who dies in Treasure Town ever becomes a Ghost. The evil in that place weighs too heavily on their souls…I was lucky to die elsewhere, otherwise I would not be here now." He sighed. "In a way, it might be for the best that very few if any Ghosts come from that dreadful place…more than once the upper echelons of the Order have considered destroying the town as a form of mercy kill, to put an end to the suffering and blight it represents upon the land, and also in the hopes that we could raise and redeem the tainted souls who live there. Thankfully, every time that idea has come up, it's been shot down. Genocide for a supposedly good cause is still genocide, and we have seen too many well-meaning fools march out on 'Crusades' to 'save the heretics' far too often for our liking to start one up again. Those dark times are relegated to the Order's past, where we intend to keep them. Forever."

"Good to see you've moved past your well-intentioned extremist knight templar stage. Evil corrupt religions are done to death these days," Leo commented. "We need more helpful good ones to set an example for the others."

"Oh! Father, I just thought of something," said Pikachu. "You grew up in Treasure Town, but had no knowledge of the Door until recently, right?"

Yamiri nodded. "That is correct. Why do you ask?"

"We learned some interesting information about the Door recently, and I was wondering if it meant anything to you," Pikachu said. He explained what Professor Oak and Tracey had told them the previous night about the translated writing near the Door.

"Oh my," Yamiri said once Pikachu had finished the tale. "That…is most troubling. I think I may have an idea what that dreadful thing is."

"You do?!" Pikachu asked hopefully.

"Uh, don't we already know what it is? A sealed portal to the prison of a super-evil being some alien dudes threw into a rift in space and time that crashed to our planet millions of years ago?" Leo pointed out.

"Well, yes," Yamiri said. "But I think I might have an idea of _who_ it was that created the Door in the first place!"

This caught their attention. "Go on," Pikachu said.

"According to oldest Arcean doctrine, when a Pokemon dies their soul ascends to the Celestial Heavens, assuming they don't turn into a Ghost, that is," Yamiri began. "When they get there, the souls are placed in individualized interconnected micro-universes that read the soul's memories and innermost self and reshape themselves to create an afterlife reflecting the nature and beliefs of its occupant. It varies, but in general if the soul tried to do what they believed was right, they dwell in a paradise; while if they caused much suffering, they find themselves in a hell."

"What if it's someone who did lots of evil believing they were being good?" Leo asked.

"I'm simplifying it a bit, the form the afterlife universe manifests as reflects the soul it was created for," Yamiri said. "The mind of someone who would commit great atrocities in the name of good is not the same, say, as someone who does _good_ in the name of good, like Ash or Pikachu. The world they find themselves in basically represents who they really are. It is quite literally a heaven or hell of their own making, based on their choices, values, and actions in life."

"But it isn't a permanent afterlife either," Pikachu said. "A soul that's in a paradise can travel to others, choose to go to the world of Source at the heart of the Omniverse, or even be reincarnated. A soul can free themselves from their hell any time they want, so long as they acknowledge the mistakes they made in life, let go of their pride, get over themselves, that sort of thing."

"Can't imagine many of them are strong enough to do that," Leo commented. "It's hard for some people, especially bad guys, to admit they were wrong."

"Which can be a bit of a problem in the case of certain exceptional souls," Yamiri said. "There are some evil ones who are either so wicked or powerful or blind to their own faults that their prison alone is not strong enough to hold them, and they threaten to not only destroy their prisons, but possibly expand them, engulfing and ruining the paradises and other afterlives surrounding them. When that happens, the Guardians are forced to excise that hell from the Celestial Heavens and isolate it from all other universes, save for a single entry point, since no one universe can ever really be kept apart from every other one. All things are connected, after all. That entry point is then put in a safe place out among the Omniverse, ideally far away from sentient life, so that the evil contained within can dwell on its error in solitude and ask for forgiveness on its own, or at least keep it from consuming anyone else in its hatred."

"Which is exactly what happened to the Door!" Leo realized.

"So the Guardians are the ones who created it…" Pikachu murmured. "But then which evil soul is sealed behind that door?"

Yamiri shrugged. "That, I cannot say. Many great evils have been defeated by the Guardians throughout history. It could be any one of them."

"It must be something really powerful, though, if it's strong enough to turn Treasure Town into the shithole it is while still being locked up," Leo said.

"Which is why you must stop the Nihilators before it can be released," Yamiri said.

Pikachu frowned. "That reminds me of something else…our map said the fourth Star Badge is here, but so far we haven't seen any sign of it. Neither the Mayor, you, nor Master Yon know anything about it, and it certainly isn't part of the legend of Yamatorochi. So where is it?"

"Maybe whoever's holed up in that old temple has it?" Leo suggested. "And is going to use it in conjunction with Yamatorochi's bell and the stolen souls to do some bad mojo?"

"Could be," Pikachu agreed. "Ford had one in his possession, as did Tiama. There's no reason this one can't be held by a villain as well."

"Well, once Master Yon finishes his preparations, we can enter the temple and find out for ourselves whether the Star Badge is there or not," Yamiri said. "And if it isn't, we will do our best to help you find it once this mess is sorted out."

"Thanks," Pikachu said gratefully.

Sasha abruptly woke up, hair standing straight on her back. "Something terrible is about to happen," she said ominously, startling the others.

Everyone shot to their feet (except Tiny, who was still playing with his voodoo doll). "What?! Is there going to be another attack?!" Ash cried in alarm.

DONG! The evil bell tolled, answering his question. The already dark night (or was it day?) darkened further as clouds drifted over the moon.

"Oh man…this isn't good! Master Yon's not up yet, what do we do?!" Leo yelled.

"We must get outside and try to save whoever that thing's next target is," Yamiri breathed, even though he didn't have lungs due to being a Ghost. "We cannot allow it to claim its one hundred and eighth victim! Who knows what could happen then?"

They rushed outside just as the bell tolled a second and third time. They glanced around the town square. "Everyone's gone to hide," Pikachu commented.

"It will not save them from what is about to come!" Sasha said, gazing up at the dark sky.

DONG! The bell rang again, and the eight energy balls formed in a ring far above them.

"It's coming…" Pikachu said, drawing his sword.

Ash formed an Aura Sphere and hurled it at the energy balls. Much to his dismay, it bounced off some kind of shield and smashed into a building, blasting a large hole in its side and caving in part of the roof. "Whoops."

"Look on the bright side, you've probably raised that thing's property value by making it look even worse than it did already," Leo said brightly.

DONG! The energy balls started spinning faster and faster.

"Isn't there some way we can stop those?" Pikachu asked.

Yamiri shook his head. "We have tried in the past. There is nothing we can do but wait until the arrow is formed, then try and rescue whoever it's aimed at."

"Any idea who it's going to be, Sasha?" Leo asked the Absol.

Sasha shook her head. "The potential for disaster hasn't peaked yet. I can't be certain."

"I think you're about to _get_ certain," Ash said as the bell rang again and the energy balls converged, forming into the evil arrow…

Which was pointing right towards the building they had just left! "It's going for someone in Town Hall!" Pikachu realized.

"Who? The Mayor?" Ash wondered. "The city'd probably be thrown into even more chaos if he were removed from office…"

"Or perhaps…" Yamiri gasped. "No! It cannot be!"

DONG! The arrow shot through the air, smashing through one of the windows high on the side of the keep. A familiar cry of alarm rang across the square as the bell rang one last time. DONG!

They gasped, realizing who the arrow had struck. "MASTER YON!" Yamiri cried. He rushed inside.

Ash raced up the steps after him. "Come on! We can still save him!" Pikachu nodded and followed him.

"Wait for me! Crap, I hate running," Leo griped as he hiked up the stairs after the others.

Sasha sighed and shook her head. "I do not think they will make it in time." Tiny sucked his pacifier in agreement. Nevertheless, she walked after the others at a more sedate pace, grimly secure in the knowledge that they wouldn't make it in time. Tiny got up and waddled after her after a moment.

Sasha's predictions were correct. Ash, Pikachu, and Yamiri burst into the study just in time to see Master Yon get pulled completely into the vortex. "MASTER!" Yamiri shouted, racing towards the portal.

"YAMI-" Yon shouted, stretching a hand out towards his disciple…

And then the vortex slammed shut, taking the elder Dusknoir with it. Yamiri skidded to a halt, staring in horror at the spot where his oldest friend had vanished, a stricken expression on his face. "N-no…" He fell to his knees and started shaking.

Ash's shoulders sagged. "We were too late…"

"Our enemy must have targeted him on purpose…it knew that Yon had the key to getting into its lair, and was instrumental in our preventing it from taking its one hundred and eighth victim," Pikachu realized. He ground his teeth and angrily drove his sword into the ground. "So it went after Master Yon in retribution, and to keep us from foiling its plans…dammit…what do we do now?!"

Panting and sweating heavily, Leo stumbled into the room. "Hey, guys, next time we need to go running somewhere, could one of you—preferably Ash—give me a lift, because-" He paused, seeing the state the others were in and immediately drawing the correct conclusion. "Ah. Never mind. Damn, why's this always got to happen to the wise mentor types?" He pulled out his inhaler and sucked on it.

Sasha and Tiny trotted into the room. "I take it Yon has been abducted," the Absol said.

"I'm afraid so," Ash growled. Frustrated, he punched the wall, smashing a hole through it by accident. "Oops."

"Don't worry, you've probably raised that thing's property value by making it look even worse than it did already," Leo said.

"You already used that joke," Ash said. "Now's not the time!"

"Who's joking?" said Leo.

"Master…what…what do we do now? How can we go on without you? All hope is lost!" Yamiri moaned in despair.

"Father…surely there must be something we can do," Pikachu said uncertainly, putting a paw on the priest's shoulder. "Maybe we can still break through that barrier anyway?"

Yamiri shook Pikachu off angrily. "Don't be ridiculous! We were barely able to save that one ghost from our foe's clutches even with Master Yon on our side, without him, how can we possibly hope to enter the fiend's lair?!"

"But we can't give up! If we do, then that bastard's won!" Ash protested.

"Hasn't he already?!" Yamiri demanded angrily. "He took Master Yon from us! Not only that, but he has gathered all one hundred and eight spirits he needs for whatever evil work he plans to create! We are too late…"

"Not necessarily," Leo interjected. "If I know anything about evil spells that require massive sacrifices, and I do, it's that even if our bad guy has all the ingredients he needs for his magic, it's going to take some time before everything's set for him to activate it. If we can get into the temple, we might still be able to interrupt him and free the souls he's captured—including Master Yon's—before he unleashes whatever power he's gathering." He grimaced. "Of course, narrative convention being what it is, we'll probably wind up getting there only minutes before or after the spell's at full power, either forcing us to defeat him in a frantic battle and save the day only seconds before he initiates the apocalypse, or having to fight him _and_ whatever it is he's conjured up in an even bigger and more epic battle."

Yamiri considered this. "…Yes. You are right! We may still have time to save Yon and the others! But…no, how can we possibly get into the temple without his power?"

"Maybe if we got all the townsPokemon together to help us break through?" Sasha suggested. "It worked when we saved Skullker."

Yamiri shook his head. "No, the barrier is made of concentrated negative energy, something that most Ghost and Dark-types already possess a great deal of. Only positive energy, like Pikachu's sword or my and Yon's holy magic or perhaps Ash's Aura would be able to dispel it. And unfortunately, without Yon we lack the extra power we'd need to smash through that shield."

"Maybe he left something behind, then, that could help us," Ash said, looking around the room. Amidst the debris from the furniture that had been scattered about by the suction from the vortex that had engulfed Yon, he noticed a few artifacts that looked newer and out of place; some candles placed around a symbol painted on the floor that resembled Arceus's wheel. "What's this thing?"

"That is a mandala," Yamiri said. "It's a symbol that can be used to focus spiritual energy. Yon was meditating in it to draw more power to himself and become strong enough to break through the barrier."

"Could you use it instead?" Pikachu suggested.

Yamiri shook his head. "I am not as advanced in the Arcean ranks as Yon was, I don't know how to use it. However, I think you're on the right track. If Yon had gotten the chance in the few moments before he was taken away, he would certainly have left something behind for us to use to come after him. Search the room for anything unusual or out of place, it could be what we're looking for."

They proceeded to turn the room upside-down. Ash, using his Aura-sight to look for anything out of the ordinary, soon found what they were looking for. "What're these?" Ash asked, picking up a sheaf of paper that shone with a warm and welcoming light to his second sight, energy similar to that of the crystal locks that were restraining the Door beneath Treasure Town or the Star Badges they had encountered so far. They had some very strange markings on them…he found it hard to take his eyes away from them, even though he wasn't sure he could make out what they were.

Yamiri gasped and took them from Ash. "These are Master Yon's prayer slips! Yes, this could be just what we need!"

"How can some papers help us enter the sealed temple?" Sasha asked doubtfully.

"It's not the papers so much as what's on them," Yamiri said, holding one up for her perusal. Her pupils dilated as she stared at the markings, mesmerized. Tiny's pacifier fell out of his mouth as he got caught up in the magnificent colors and shapes swirling on the paper, resonating with something deep inside of him and making him feel…something.

"Pretty!" Leo remarked.

"Holy icons and sacred text has been written on them, images and words designed to stir something deep in the Pokemon heart. They cause peace and serenity that the foolish cannot see and that evil cannot stand up to. When their power is channeled by one with the right training, great miracles can be wrought," Yamiri explained.

"Master Yon must have intended to use their power to destroy the barrier around the temple," Pikachu realized. "Father Yamiri, do you think you can use them in his place?"

Yamiri frowned and examined the slips. "I am uncertain. As I said, I have not advanced as high or received as much training with tools such as these that Master Yon has. However…I am the only one of us who can even begin to imagine how to utilize them, so I suppose it is up to me to try."

"Don't worry, we know you can do it!" Leo said. "But just in case it doesn't work, would the barrier happen to stop at ground level or does it completely enclose the temple from every angle? I was wondering if we should try digging in as a plan B."

The Mayor appeared at the door. "Is everyone all right?" he asked in concern. "We heard a commotion and saw that cursed arrow come through the window. What happened?"

"Master Yon has been abducted by the evil lurking in the old temple," Ash said.

Tonio gasped. "That's terrible!"

"But we're going to go and try and save him and the others!" said Pikachu.

"That's good!" said Tonio.

"But I am not certain I will be able to get us inside…" Yamiri said doubtfully.

Tonio gasped. "That's terrible!"

"But he's going to try his best, and we'll all help too, so we're sure to get through!" Leo said confidently, since he knew that that was how this sort of thing usually turned out.

"That's good!" said Tonio.

"But once we get inside, we may have to fight a resurrected ancient evil impervious to almost any attack, or a new evil we know nothing about," said Sasha.

Tonio gasped. "That's terrible!"

Tiny sucked on his pacifier.

"That's…" Tonio paused. "Um, did he say something?"

"No, he was just sucking on his pacifier," said Ash.

"Ah," said Tonio. "That's…good. I think?"

"If we are going to stop that fiend before it carries out its dastardly plans, whatever they may be, we need to hurry," Yamiri said. "Even if Leo is correct in his prediction that we have some time before our enemy's scheme comes to fruition, we need to move out as swiftly as possible."

"My team is ready to go," Ash assured Yamiri.

"Actually, I kinda need to go to the bathroom," Leo confessed. "And it's better if I go now rather than when we get there, so…" Ash facepalmed. Tiny sucked his pacifier, indicating he needed to go as well.

"Go ahead, it'll give me the time I need to get one last thing," Yamiri said.

"What's that, Father?" Pikachu asked.

The Sableye smirked. "An old friend…"

…

A little later…

"So, this is the place, huh?" Ash asked.

"Funny, it doesn't look like a temple dedicated to any of the gods I know of…and trust me, I know plenty!" Leo said.

Team Aurabolt and Father Yamiri were standing before the abandoned temple, having departed from the Town Hall with the best wishes of the Mayor, his wife, and the rest of Twilight's Edge's denizens at their backs. The temple was a grim and decrepit pagoda-like structure, much different from the temple back in Pokemon Square or the more recent one that had been constructed closer to the heart of Twilight's Edge. It rose over their heads in tiered eave after tiered eave, with a few sinister serpentine gargoyles sprouting from the decorative brackets on the edges that were still intact. Tiled snake motifs covered the walls, though many of the tiles were long gone by now, causing the serpents to look somewhat gaunt and corpse-like. The apex of the temple was a black dome with a few jewels encrusted in its surface, a serpentine lightning rod jutting from the top, and some large holes in the sides—some of which were part of the architectural design, others of which were not—through which they could just make out the curvature of a bell, but it was hard to tell from the bottom looking up, especially with all the eaves in the way. A pair of large corroded metal doors with faded rusty jewel-eyed serpents engraved on them stood between a pair of pillars with stone serpents wrapped around them, their jaws gaping at the intruders. Broken statuary lined a dead weed-filled garden surrounding the base of the temple, and the unoccupied houses and other town buildings erected nearby all looked as if they were leaning away from the dread structure.

"When Yamatorochi moved in, he remade the temple in his own image," Father Yamiri explained. In one hand he held Master Yon's prayer slips, and in the other he held a wicked-looking mace slung over his shoulder. He sneered in disgust at the building. "What a blasphemous piece of work…had we not deemed it a good place to seal away his bell, we would have demolished the temple after its owner's demise."

"Why didn't you seal the bell away someplace safer, anyway?" Pikachu asked.

Yamiri blushed. "Well…it's a _very_ heavy, _very_ large metal bell. Not exactly easy to transport down a tall building and across a few continents and oceans to the Arcean Orders' headquarters, if you know what I mean…" They sweatdropped.

Sasha closed her eyes. "The potential for danger emanating from that place is growing. We must hurry. Whatever evil magic our enemy seeks to enact is beginning."

"Right," Ash said. "We just need to get through this barrier first. Which we can't see…" He smirked. "Not with normal eyes, anyway." He closed his eyes. Leo donned his shades to examine it as well.

"Well?" Pikachu asked.

"Hmm…lots of bad vibes coming off of this thing. Whoever made it was definitely not a nice person," Ash said with a grimace. To him, the barrier was a capped cylinder made of writhing energy serpents. He could swear they were _glaring_ at him.

"Yup, you were right, Father. This thing's full of negative juju," Leo commented. "But a strong enough jolt of positive energy should bring the whole thing crashing down."

"All right," Yamiri said, drawing a prayer slip. "Do you see any weak spots?"

Leo and Ash pointed to a spot very, very high off the ground. Yamiri grunted. "It's a good thing I'm a Ghost and gravity isn't really an issue for me." He levitated far above them. "Is this it?"

"A little more to your right," Ash said. "No, the other right. No, my right, not your right!"

"Isn't your right the same as his right?" Pikachu asked.

"I'm not really sure," Ash said. Pikachu sweatdropped.

"There! It's right in front of you!" Leo shouted.

Yamiri glanced at the completely ordinary-looking patch of empty air in front of him, and decided to take the Squirtle's word for it. While he could sense plenty of evil magic just before him, he couldn't pinpoint weaknesses in its structure quite like Ash or Leo seemed to be able to. He took a deep breath (more for effect than necessity). "Master…here I come…" He thrust the paper in front of him, focusing all his willpower into it. There was a thunderclap, and the air rippled before him, bolts of energy and wriggling serpents forming around the spot the slip was touching. Light radiated from the paper, causing the rippling and wriggling and crackling to grow wilder, much to the excitement of the Pokemon on the ground below. "Cool!" said Leo.

"He's doing it!" said Ash.

"Of course he can," Pikachu said faithfully. "This is the sort of thing he died for, isn't it?"

Unfortunately, Yamiri was not having as easy a time as it might have seemed to his inexperienced companions below. The barrier was fighting back against him, and he was very close to being repelled, his strength fading fast. _I'm not strong enough, _he thought desperately as the light from the slip began to dim and the barrier started repairing itself. _I'm not learned enough or skilled enough…I'm not a Master, just a Father! What was I thinking?! I can't do this, I can't…I can't…_

_No._

_NO._

_This is not me. This is not who I am. This is not the Pokemon who left his frozen corpse behind after reading and comprehending Arceus' Laws for twelve days and twelve nights and for the first time in his existence saw the world to be a beautiful place, and dedicated the rest of his afterlife to serving Arceus and protecting his creation!_

_When I first joined the Order, Yon was the one who taught me what it meant to be a servant of the forces of good. He told me never to give up, no matter what the odds. What would he think if he saw me acting like this, just because he wasn't here? Especially because I'm doing all this to save him in the first place!_

_I cannot give up! I cannot let him down! I…CAN…DO THIS!_ Gritting his teeth, he focused everything he had at the barrier. The waning light of the prayer slip reignited, shining brighter than ever before. The distortions the slip's power was causing in the barrier increased in their frequency and intensity, until the entire shield became visible due to all the rippling and convulsing serpents and energy bolts across its surface.

"He's doing it!" Ash said, scanning the barrier with his Aura-sight. "It's weakening!"

"I think we can tell that without magic vision, but yeah! He's doing great!" Pikachu said.

"He's gonna need a little extra punch to smash this thing though," Leo said, analyzing the destabilizing barrier with his sunglasses. "More weak spots are opening all over the place. Ash, focus your Aura into a blast at that point over there! Pikachu, drive your sword into that spot there! Sasha, direct a Psycho Cut over there, it's not quite positive energy but it might help! Tiny, drop that thing you found on the ground, it's not edible!" Tiny scowled and dropped the thing he had been about to put into his mouth.

Blue fire ignited around Ash's body as he concentrated his Aura into his hands and blasted it out at the barrier. Pikachu's cheeks crackled with electricity as he thrust his sword at the barrier, the serpents writhing in pain as he pressed the sacred sword into their entwined mass. Sasha fired energy blades at spots Leo called out to her; it wasn't having any visible effect, but it made her feel like she was helping somehow. Above them all, Yamiri continued his mystical assault, light streaming off his body and prayer slip as he focused his power into breaking the shield. The surface of the barrier started getting more and more distorted, wobbling like a stack of gelatin. The ghostly serpents wailed in agony, their efforts to maintain their cohesion in vain as the barrier stiffened, went opaque, and with the sound of shattering glass exploded into a million pieces.

"Yatta!" Leo cried, punching the air. "We did it!"

"Woo! That was intense!" Ash said, wiping away some sweat.

"I hope Yamatorochi's hide isn't as tough as that thing was," Pikachu agreed.

"You did an excellent job, Father Yamiri," Sasha said as the winded Sableye floated back to the ground. "Well done!"

"I could feel my Master's spirit guiding me," Yamiri said, gazing at the prayer slips in gratitude. "How could I fail when he was giving me his full support?"

"Uh, I thought his spirit was inside the temple," Leo said.

Yamiri sighed. "I was being metaphorical."

"Oh. Right," said Leo.

"I bet our friend up there isn't happy that we ruined his fancy shield," Ash said, nodding up at the distant bell atop the temple.

"What say we go in and ruin the rest of his plans, too?" Pikachu said, swiping Thunder Fang through the air.

"And rescue Yon and the others," Yamiri said, regaining his composure and drawing his mace. "Our enemy will regret kidnapping a member of the Arcean Order!"

"Let's go bust some heads, yo!" Leo chortled.

"I thought you had agreed never to talk like that again," Sasha said.

Leo scowled. "But I _like_ talking like this…" Tiny rolled his eyes.

"There's no time to waste," Ash said. "Come on!" They ran towards the temple, ready to overcome whatever evil awaited them inside.

…

Three hundred years ago…

Once upon a time, there was a Bagon.

He had no name, but this was not unusual, for he was a wild Pokemon, for whom names were optional and not as necessary as they seemed to be in civilized society. He lived on his own in a cave high up a cliff near Wyvern Hill in Kanjohenn.

His was a rather simple and undemanding life, and he wanted for little, though that was more because he was largely unaware that there was more to life than what he experienced than because he was truly prosperous or content. His only real ambition was to one day soar high above the clouds, but this was not a unique desire for his kind, and one that would eventually be realized anyway if and when he evolved into a Salamence. To prepare for that momentous occasion, he practiced flying daily by jumping from the ledge outside his lair. He always fell several hundred feet to the ground below, but he always landed on his very hard head, so it didn't hurt as much as it would if he were any other species of Pokemon. While he was disappointed that his jumping never led him to true flight, at least it gave him plenty of exercise, since he inevitably had to climb all the way back up the cliff face to get back home.

As stated before, he wanted and expected little from life, and probably would have grown up to be a perfectly ordinary Salamence one day just like any other…

Until one night, when everything changed forever.

Even years after the fact, the Bagon would never be able to fully articulate what it was that caused him to wake up in the middle of the night and go outside. At the time, it seemed like the most natural thing to do in the world, and only later would he consider that someone or some_thing_ else might have put the idea into his head.

His dreams of flying on great scarlet wings prematurely interrupted, he grunted and got off his bed of rushes, relieved himself in a corner, and reluctantly trudged outside, grumbling and rubbing his eyes as he went. Once on the ledge outside his cave, he stood there, the wind whistling past him, and looked out at the land below.

The night was dark and moonless, with only cold stars shining down on the green-black forest spread between the Bagon's cliff and the looming mass of Wyvern Hill, which in the absence of light looked like the form of a sleeping dragon coiled around itself. However, there was something new and unexpected in this nightscape; something the Bagon was pretty sure hadn't been there the night before. There was a speck of light in the midst of the forest, a fire of some sort, and trees had been smashed down all around it to create a large clearing. By squinting at the distant light, he thought he could make out several tiny figures surrounding the fire, with something…big behind them, though he could not tell what. Normally, he would have ignored this strange occurrence and gone back to sleep, but the same feeling that had woken him up and urged him to go outside convinced him he should take a closer look. With a shrug, he jumped off the ledge.

As usual, he landed on the rocks head-first. Much to his annoyance, he still couldn't fly. Oh well, at least he'd gotten down to ground level quickly…though it would be a pain to climb all the way back up to his cave again to go back to sleep. He hoped that this investigation didn't take too long; he wanted to get _some_ shut-eye before the sun rose.

He trekked through the dark forest, heading in the direction of the fire. Normally there would have been nocturnal Pokemon and other predators about, but they were oddly absent, almost as if there was something in the woods scarier than they were. The forest was eerily silent as a result, something that made the Bagon more than a little uneasy as he made his way towards his destination, guided by his memory and an unerring…_sense_ that he was going the right way.

After what seemed like hours, and making far too much noise for his liking, the Bagon finally reached the edge of the clearing, the light from the fire casting strange shadows and making the empty forest seem even more ominous. He noted in alarm how easily the surrounding trees had been uprooted and cast aside like twigs, indicating they had been moved by something very powerful. Hearing voices, he hid behind one of the dislodged trees and peeked carefully around it to see what was going on.

The sight of what awaited in the clearing caused his blood to freeze in his veins.

An immense bonfire had been gathered in the clearing, flames rising several feet into the air as more wood and brush was thrown into it. The fire was surrounded by at least a dozen Pokemon wearing cloaks, their varied figures concealed by the cloth and causing them to look amorphous and misshapen as they chanted and murmured to each other. That many strangers was bad enough, but it was what was _beyond_ the fire that was really terrifying. On one side of the clearing was something the Bagon could only describe as a hole in reality, a swirling _blackness_ that seemed to swallow the light and went on forever. A nameless terror filled the Bagon as he stared at the hole, getting the feeling that whatever was on the other side was not something that should ever see the light of day.

And on the other side of the clearing, opposite the hole, was something even _worse_. A giant serpentine green dragon with yellow markings along his length dangled limply from a number of enormous icy spikes that jutted from the ground and pierced his twisted form several times. Blood oozed from his wounds and open mouth into bowls placed beneath his body, the liquid glowing with supernatural power. The Bagon had never seen the dragon before, never even known he existed, but he knew at once that this was Rayquaza, physical manifestation of the Dragon God King, and he was dying.

Trembling in fright, the Bagon pulled his head back into cover so that he would not be seen, certain that his clattering teeth and pounding heartbeat were loud enough for those mysterious figures only meters away to hear. How could they not? The sound of his blood rushing past his earholes was nearly deafening himself!

Something told him that this sacrilege was what he had been called here to see, that he needed to bear witness to this horrific event. But why? And what was he supposed to do about it? He was a mere Bagon who dreamed of flight, how could he fight a group that had managed to defeat a dragon _god?_

He suddenly realized the murmuring and whispers had stopped. Cautiously, he turned and took another peek around the side of the tree he was hiding behind. He saw that one of the cloaked Pokemon had thrown back its hood, revealing itself to be a Froslass. The icy phantom stood some distance away from the flames, clearly uncomfortable in their heat, but the coldness of her eyes told the Bagon that the chill in her soul was strong enough to begin a new Ice Age, if only it could be released from within her ectoplasmic shell. "My friends," the Froslass said in a voice which sent shivers down the Bagon's spine. "Tonight is a momentous occasion for our coven. The stars are right. The portal is open. The Dragon God King lies at our feet, defeated and completely at our mercy. The conduit has been chosen. All we need do now is offer the sacrifice and our master shall be freed after eons of imprisonment. Ultimate power shall be ours, and we shall lay waste to everything, exacting our vengeance on all that is 'good.'" The nearby vortex began swirling faster, attracting the coven's attention. "Aha! Do you see? Our master senses the time of release is drawing near."

A pair of red eyes appeared in the blackness of the portal. "Bellum. Is all ready?" The Bagon winced, the grating voice of this 'master' triggering the nerve endings in his body that managed pain and feeling like it was slicing through him as sharply as a Scyther's blades. What kind of being was this 'master' that just hearing its voice caused unbearable agony? Certainly not something that should ever be freed!

The Froslass, seemingly unaffected by the power of her master's voice, bowed. "We have finished our preparations, master. We will initiate the ritual at your command."

"Good. Begin! I cannot tolerate this imprisonment any longer. Release me before the universal alignment ends and the crack between our realities seals once again! Release me so that I may have my revenge!" the 'master' roared.

"It shall be as you desire, master." Bellum nodded and turned to one of her associates. "Marianne, give me your sister, please."

The Pokemon in question threw off its cloak, revealing itself to be an abnormally large Rotom holding a very gray egg that gave off a rotten odor that the Bagon could smell all the way from his hiding place. He flinched and tried not to sneeze. The Rotom reverently handed the egg to the Froslass, who irreverently threw it into the bonfire. The flames clawed at the egg, its fragile shell blackening and crumbling in moments, revealing a malformed and long-dead fetus inside. As the Bagon watched in horror, the dead thing started to _move_, wiggling its unformed limbs and trying to scream with a mouth that wasn't quite a mouth as the fire scorched its flesh. Wisps of…something rose from the burning, wriggling form, coalescing above the dead creature and taking on the form of a very small Misdreavus. The baby Ghost began to writhe in sync with the fetus, wailing in terrible agony as the fire ravaged both their forms.

Bellum spread her arms as the rest of the coven started chanting in an evil-sounding language. "Beneath the Dragon Star, I offer this, ectoplasm of my ectoplasm, soul of my soul, to serve as a conduit of terrible power!" The Bagon blinked as he tried to comprehend this. Was the Bellum saying that the Misdreavus was her own _child?!_ She was sacrificing her offspring?! And he hadn't even known Ghosts could _reproduce…_

The air cooled around Bellum, and frost formed on the grass surrounding her as a chain made of glowing ice materialized in her hands. "Beneath the Dragon Star, I offer this, a chain to bind the conduit to my soul forevermore!" She grabbed one end of the chain tightly in both hands and flung the other end into the flames. Somehow unharmed by the fire, the free end of the chain wrapped itself around the Misdreavus, causing it to scream even louder as the chain _melted into its skin_ and created a rather nasty-looking scar on its face. The rest of the chain faded away, but somehow the Bagon got the feeling that it was still there, even if it was hard to see at the moment.

Bellum then turned towards Rayquaza. "Beneath the Dragon Star, I offer this, the power of the Dragon God King, so that our master will rule once again!" The portal quivered, and suddenly a chain of living darkness shot out of it, wrapping once around the Misdreavus before continuing across the clearing and piercing Rayquaza's tongue. The dying god moaned in pain, and the Misdreavus shrieked as the chain tightened, constricting her as whatever force was on the other end of the bond pulled the length taut.

One of the robed figures beside Bellum moved forward. It was the largest of the group, its form lost in the shadow of its voluminous cloak. It bowed its head and began chanting, "Gate gate paragate. Gate gate paragate. Gate gate paragate. Gate gate paragate."

Rayquaza's serpentine form twitched, and the god moaned as green energy crackled around his body and flowed into the chain piercing his tongue, running down the chain's length and into the Misdreavus's body, causing her to gasp in even _more_ pain as her body pulsed with green light and transferred it down the other end of the chain into the portal, causing the red eyes of the 'master' to glow greedily. The members of the coven who were not chanting began murmuring in excitement.

The Bagon trembled nervously. He did not need an Absol's disaster sense to know that something very big and very bad was happening. What he didn't know, however, was what he was supposed to do about it. These were clearly very powerful, very evil Pokemon, and he was just an average Bagon with aspirations of flight. What was he supposed to do? The instant he stepped out from cover, he wouldn't be surprised if he was killed at once by some evil spell! How could he interfere in magic like this?

And yet he had to. There was nobody else around, and if these fiends succeeded, it could mean the end of the world. And if the world was destroyed, he'd certainly never get a chance to fly, now would he? He sighed, realizing with some dismay that it was all up to him. Somewhat reluctantly, he started to step out from behind the tree…

When suddenly, several dozen Ghosts materialized out of thin air, and quite a few enormous dragons—including, much to the Bagon's awe, some magnificent scarlet-winged Salamences—swooped down on the clearing. The coven started, except for the one Pokemon who kept chanting "Gate gate paragate."

"Wh-what?!" Bellum cried in alarm. "What is this?!"

"Bellum!" a Shedinja bellowed. "We have you surrounded! Get away from His Majesty and release that Ghost from the fire or I will bring down the wrath of the entire Draconian Empire on your foul head!"

"Bzzbzzbzzbzz!" the Rotom buzzed worriedly.

Bellum ground her teeth in fury. "You…how did you find us?!"

"Your attack on Sky Tower was a nice diversion, but you'll need to send stronger suicidal cultists next time if you want to stand a chance against defeating _our_ armies!" the Shedinja said. "Once the terrorists were taken care of, all we had to do was follow His Majesty's signature. I bet you didn't know we planted a homing beacon inside of him for just such an emergency, did you?"

Bellum blinked. "A homing-" Abruptly, she burst into laughter, much to the alarm of the other cultists. "You truly are a cunning and ruthless creature, Nuken! I can only hope those traits will be passed onto our daughter."

"Our daughter? What do you-" The Shedinja stiffened, then glanced at the Misdreavus in the fire. "No…you…th-that can't be! Why would you…?"

Bellum laughed again. "Isn't it obvious, Nuken? I am every bit as ruthless as you, if not more so. There is nothing I would not sacrifice for my master, even my own offspring. Would you not do the same thing for yours?"  
"I…" The Shedinja bristled. "No. No. I am _nothing_ like you. Attack! ATTACK!" The dragon and ghost soldiers swooped down to attack.

"Bellum! If they interrupt the energy transfer, the rift between dimensions will be sealed! STOP THEM!" The thing in the portal roared.

"Get them! Defend our master!" Bellum cried. She conjured an ice spear. "Leave the General to me…" The other cultists threw off their cloaks and rushed forward and up to meet Nuken's army. The Bagon recoiled when he saw what most of them looked like beneath their robes; their limbs were twisted and deformed, mystic sigils burned into their scarred flesh, their bodies corrupted and warped by the dark magic they clearly revered. He found himself wondering why they would be so devoted to an entity whose power turned them into things like…that. He didn't really see the point.

What he did see, however, was an opportunity. All the cultists were now occupied fighting against the dragons and ghosts the Shedinja, Nuken, had brought with him, aside from the one figure still standing by the fire and chanting "Gate gate paragate." There was nothing to stop him from just walking on out there and breaking the chain connecting Rayquaza, the Misdreavus, and the thing in the portal.

Nothing aside from the fact that there were powerful spells and energy blasts flying about everywhere, one of which impacted only inches away from his hiding place and almost destroyed the tree. He flinched and looked around desperately, hoping that some stray attack might hit the chain and save him the trouble. No such luck, the cultists seemed to be trying their hardest to keep the fighting from disrupting the energy transfer. He supposed he could just wait until Nuken's forces overwhelmed these mages—after all, the army outnumbered them, and Nuken himself seemed to be largely immune to most of the attacks Bellum was flinging at him thanks to his Wonder Guard special ability—but there was still a chance that the cultists could prevail, and even if the newcomers did win, it was possible that the dread ritual would be completed before then, spelling doom for the entire planet. He sighed, resigning himself to the fact that it was all up to him again.

Cautiously, he stepped out from behind the tree and took a few steps forward. This turned out to be the right decision, because seconds later a Hyper Beam arced by and smashed into the felled tree, blasting it into smithereens and sending splinters flying everywhere, some into the Bagon's rear. He yelped in pain and alarm, and frantically ran across the battlefield, ignored by the combatants but still in constant danger of getting obliterated by the powerful attacks that were flying everywhere, tearing huge chunks out of the landscape and leveling more of the forest. Trying not to think too hard about how very, very close he was to getting killed, the Bagon dashed towards the bonfire, pondering as he went about the best way to do this. He could either shatter the length of chain tied to Rayquaza's tongue, or the end anchored into the portal, he was pretty sure his head was strong enough to break either one. That would probably stop the energy transfer and bring the ceremony to a close. He wasn't sure if he'd get more than one shot at this, so he could only break one chain, which hopefully would be good enough. If he destroyed the one connecting the Rayquaza to the Misdreavus, the god's power would no longer be drained…but the infant ghost might be pulled into the portal, which the Bagon didn't think would be right, considering that it was just a baby and had no willing part in whatever was going on here. However, if he shattered the chain going into the portal, the evil being on the other end would no longer be able to absorb any of Rayquaza's power…but the Misdreavus still would, and Bellum might be able to snatch it up and use that power for her own ends. He could be wrong in either of these assumptions, of course, considering how little he knew of magic, but he didn't really have anything else to base his guesses off of. Assuming he didn't have time—nor needed--to break both chains, which one should he go for?

He decided to go for the chain connected to the portal. Hopefully the army would be able to rescue the Misdreavus, and even if they couldn't, at least it being in Bellum's possession couldn't possibly be as bad as an evil god having it, right? His decision made, he angled his run towards the portal.

There was just one flaw in his plans. While none of the fighters noticed him, the thing in the portal certainly did. "BELLUM!" the evil thing shouted. "A Bagon is trying to interfere! Stop him!"

Startled, Bellum glanced away from her opponent and saw the Bagon running towards the chain. "What?! How did that get here?! Everyone, stop that Bagon!"

"No you don't!" Nuken said, hitting Bellum with Shadow Sneak and stunning her. "Everyone, protect that Bagon! Don't let him get hurt!"

Bellum growled in frustration as she recovered, flinging a Shadow Ball at the Shedinja. "I should have killed you after I slept with you!"

"You're right, you should have," Nuken agreed as he dodged the Shadow Ball. "Because then I wouldn't be able to do _this!_" He unleashed a Sandstorm, causing Bellum to cry out as she was buffeted back by the sandy winds, allowing him to hit her with an X-Scissor attack that nearly took off her arm. She retaliated with Astonish, which the Shedinja did not find too astonishing. Much like her performance in bed. (Yes, I went there! Hoooo!)

One of the cultists, a mutilated Honchkrow with too many beaks, glided towards the terrified Bagon, firing a Dark Pulse from its grotesque maw. Before it could strike, however, a Salamence swooped down and deflected the attack with its chest armor, blasting the wicked bird away with Dragonbreath. "Go on!" the dragon called over its shoulder to the startled Bagon. "We've got you covered!"

The Bagon nodded. "R-right!" _Wow, I hope I look that cool when I evolve!_ He started running again, blocking out the fighting going on around him. A wilting Jumpluff tried to douse him with Stun Spores, but a Charizard incinerated them with its flaming breath. A Mawile attempted to close its horns around his leg, but a Dusclops materialized in their path, grabbing the jaws in both hands and pulling them apart until they were ripped in two. A Magcargo tried to engulf him in its molten mass, but a Dragonite shattered its shell with a Hyper Beam, causing the Lava Pokemon to dissolve into a puddle of, well, lava. As explosions and beams and energy balls flew all over the place, the Bagon Growlithedly kept charging forward, aiming for the crackling chain.

"BELLUM! STOP HIM!" the thing in the portal bellowed desperately.

"What do you think I'm trying to do?!" the Froslass snapped as she tried to fend off Nuken's Hidden Power energy balls with Ice Shards. Growling, she concentrated for a moment, and then split into multiple Bellums, four of which glided down towards the Bagon while the real one stayed to keep fighting Nuken. The clones formed ice spears and sickles in their hands, cackling evilly as they swooped at the Rock Head Pokemon. A Dragonair, two Haunters, and a Gabite tried to stop the clones, but the ice phantoms cruelly sliced them to pieces and continued towards their prey.

Gritting his teeth, the Bagon spat an Ember at the first ice clone to try and attack him, melting its face off. It would have cried in pain if it still had a mouth, dissolving as the small flames ravaged its form. The second clone thrust a spear at him, which he managed to sidestep then ripped out of the clone's hands by clamping his jaws around its length and pulling away. He pulled harder than he thought, and wound up taking the clone's arms off too. The third swung its sickle at his neck, but he lowered his head, causing the blade to shatter on his cranium, and then he shattered the clone in turn with a Headbutt. The fourth clone, showing more foresight than its sisters, backed away then hurled its spear at the Bagon from a distance. The Bagon could not dodge in time, and cried in pain as it pierced his side. Gasping in pain, he fell to the ground. The clone grinned in triumph and flew down to finish him off…

And got blasted by a Night Shade from a Gengar. "Hang on!" the Shadow Pokemon (No, not _that_ kind of Shadow!) said, seeing the Bagon's injury. "Help is on the—whoa!" He broke off to defend himself from a howling mad Electivire, the small dragon forgotten.

Seeing that he was on his own again, the Bagon grunted and managed to stagger back to his feet. He spat an Ember on the ice spear on his side to melt it, then started limping once more in the direction of the chains, clutching his wound to try and keep it from bleeding too much as he went.

Bellum growled in frustration, seeing that the meddlesome Bagon _still_ wasn't dead. "BELLUM!" her master shouted.

"I know, I know!" Bellum replied. What was she supposed to do?! It was taking all her strength and magical prowess just to keep Nuken from defeating her! The Shedinja was far stronger than she had expected. Then again, how else could he have possibly risen to the highest rank in the Draconian Empire next to that of Rayquaza himself? "Marianne!" Bellum cried as she fended off the Shedinja's Will-O-Wisps with gusts of Ominous Wind. "Do something!"

The massive Rotom glanced up from the Altaria she had been torturing to death by electrocution. "Bzz?" Her blue eyes widened when she saw how close the Bagon was to the chains. "BZZZZ!" Concentrating her immense electrical power into a crackling energy ball, she fired her Zap Cannon at the Bagon.

Nuken gasped, seeing that everyone close enough to the Bagon to help was too busy fending off attacks from the cultists to do anything to save him. "LOOK OUT!"

"Huh?" The Bagon looked over his shoulder just in time to see the Zap Cannon flying towards him. His eyes widened in horror. "Oh crap!" He desperately limped away as fast as he could, which, thanks to his wound, wasn't particularly fast at all. The energy ball slammed into the ground just behind him and exploded, launching him into the air. "CRAAAA…hey, I'm flying! I'm FLYING!" Believing for a split second that he had finally achieved his lifelong dream, he flapped his stubby arms in hopes that he would rise higher into the air. Much to his dismay, instead he started falling back towards the ground. Specifically, towards the bonfire. "Okay, maybe not. CRAAAAP!"

He fell into the fire. He leaped back out seconds later, engulfed in flames. "AAAHH! HOTHOTHOT!" It was a very good thing that as a Dragon-type he was somewhat resistant to fire. That didn't mean it didn't hurt, though! "Stop, drop, and roll! Stop, drop, and roll!" he chanted, trying to put out the flames by rolling around in the dirt. If anything, this only made them burn _stronger_, until he gave up and ran around screaming (and on fire, of course) until a stray Shadow Ball arced lazily through the air and exploded behind him, sending him flying once again…

Right at one of the chains. He reflexively snapped his jaws shut around the chain just before it could hit him in the neck, shuddering and nearly letting go due to how supernaturally cold the metal—if it even was metal—felt on his tongue. It didn't taste very good, either. He noted briefly that this was not the chain he had been aiming for; he was now dangling from the link between Rayquaza and the Misdreavus. He briefly considered dropping off and trying for the other one, then figured that since he was there already he might as well destroy the chain, then had second thoughts, reconsidered, and kept deliberating until another pulse of the Dragon God King's energy went through the chain and into his body. The surge of power set him on fire (metaphorically speaking, though he was still burning from the bonfire), as energy filled every iota of his body and caused him to light up with a brilliant green glow. It also hurt like a bitch, which is why he reflexively closed his jaws, breaking the chain in two.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Bellum and the thing in the portal shouted in horror. The recoil from the snapping chain flung the Misdreavus out of the fire, wailing as the severed end wrapped around her several times and melted into her skin much like the ice chain Bellum had used earlier. The portal wobbled, destabilizing, before imploding on itself and leaving whatever was on the other end trapped once more in whatever hellish plane it was held prisoner. Abruptly, the bonfire went out, and the pieces of chain not absorbed into the Misdreavus's body dissolved into shadow and disappeared. The cultists gaped in disbelief, and the Draconic army started cheering.

"Well done, lad!" Nuken called to the dazed Bagon now sitting on the ground, bolts of green electricity still crackling around him. "You stopped them!"

"You fools! Do you have any idea how far you've set us back?!" Bellum snarled furiously. She paused, and then glanced at the infant Misdreavus drifting about, glowing a faint green. "However…this may not be a complete loss…Marianne! Get your sister!"

"Bzzbzzbzz!" The Rotom quickly snatched up the Misdreavus, causing it to cry out in pain as her sister's ambient electricity shocked her. Marianne didn't particularly care.

"Bellum! Let her go!" Nuken shouted.

Bellum smirked as she floated backwards to join her daughters. "Oh, don't worry, you'll see her again soon enough…when I bring your precious empire down around your halo! Your almighty king is not long for this world, and once he's gone, I will use our daughter to topple what's left of his dominion like a stack of cards! Perhaps that will make my master forgive our failure this eve."

Nuken gasped. "No!"

"Farewell, my love. When next we meet, I will be sending you to meet your master in the hereafter!" Bellum cackled. She snapped her fingers, causing Marianne to hum obligingly and call a tremendous lightning bolt down from the heavens, striking them and engulfing them in a flash of light and a tremendous explosion.

"No! BELLUM!" Nuken roared, flying forwrds as the smoke cleared. He was not surprised to find that the sorceresses had disappeared. "Graaahhh! This is not over, you witch! I will make you pay for what you have done this day! And what you did to me…"

"She's…gone?!" cried one of the startled cultists, the Honchkrow.

"But…but I thought we were in this together!" the Jumpluff protested. "We were going to end the world! Why did she abandon us?"

Nuken snorted. "She's a completely amoral witch who cares for nothing but herself and her master, and would use anything and anyone to achieve her goals. Are you really so stupid that you did not see this coming? Wait, scratch that, you thought it would be a good idea to join a cult that worshipped a fallen god, clearly common sense is not something you have in great quantities." He turned to his lieutenants. "Put the lot of them in restraints and start tending the wounded. His Majesty and that brave Bagon get first priority, though. And where did the Pokemon doing all that chanting go?"

"It doesn't seem to be here, sir," a Banette reported. "It must have fled when the energy transfer was disrupted."

"Well, at least _one_ of those morons had a brain…" Nuken grunted. "Somehow I doubt we've seen the last of that one…"

Things moved so fast after that that the Bagon's head was spinning, though that might be partly from the blood loss, energy shock, and the drugs the Joys from Sky Tower had given him. After Bellum and her brood had disappeared, the soldiers had carted the miserable cultists off in chains and brought in the most experienced medics in the empire to tend to Rayquaza and the other wounded. It was almost funny to see all those small pink figures crawling along the length of the great green dragon, applying bandages and removing ice fragments and injecting medicine into him, though once again that could be the drugs talking. "I've familiarized myself with every member of the Imperial Guard, but I don't believe I've ever seen your face before, soldier," the Chansey who was patching him up commented. "Are you a new recruit? What's your name and rank?"

The Bagon blinked. "Huh? Oh, I'm not part of the…whatever you just said. I live in a cave nearby and just happened to stumble upon what was going on here." He paused, and frowned. "What exactly _was_ going on here, anyway? And just who are all you people?"

"Oh!" the Joy said, looking surprised. "You're a wild Pokemon, then?"

The Bagon gave her a puzzled look. "Wild? How do you mean?"

"Uh, I mean, you're a Pokemon who lives out in the countryside rather than in a city, and isn't part of a barbarian horde," the Chansey elaborated.

"Oh. No, I'm none of those things," the Bagon said. "And what's a city?"

"Wow, you really are out of touch…" Joy murmured. "And I'm guessing you've never heard of the Draconian Empire either, despite being a Dragon-type, have you?"

"No. What's an empire?" the Bagon asked.

"Okay, let me try and explain it to you like this. There are basically three kinds of Pokemon in the world," Joy explained. "There's wild Pokemon, like yourself, who live off the land like our ancestors and for the most part stick to themselves and don't bother anyone. Then there are barbarians, who are lawless evil Pokemon that hate everyone and stick together in large groups that go around killing people and destroying settlements and stuff like that for fun and loot. Then there's civilized Pokemon, who live together in groups but work together for the betterment of an entire community rather than just looking after themselves in villages or cities, which are basically large settlements full of artificial shelters that care for everyone and keep them safe from the elements and barbarians and whatnot. Do you follow me so far?"

"I…think so," said the Bagon, head whirling as he tried to process all this new information. (Again, it could have just been the drugs.)

"Now, lots of cities or towns are independent of each other, but when the people of multiple settlements band together under one governing body they form what's called a 'nation,'" Joy continued. "The kind of nation it is depends on the form of government which rules it. A nation where the people choose their leaders is called a 'democracy,' a nation where the leader inherits the title from birth is a 'kingdom,' and so on. When you have a conglomerate made up of _lots_ of nations that are all united under a single ruling party rather than each governing themselves, you have an 'empire.'"

"An empire. That's what you lot are?" the Bagon asked. "But you don't look like enough Pokemon to make a 'nation' or lots of nations."

Joy laughed. "We're a very, very, _very_ small percentage of the makeup of the entire empire. The empire has millions of citizens, and what you see here is just a few dozen."

"How much is a million?" the Bagon, who had never been good with numbers, asked.

"It's…let's see…you see all the stars in the sky?" Joy asked.

"Yeah," said the Bagon.

"Imagine if each of those was a Pokemon," Joy said.

The Bagon tried. He couldn't. "I can't imagine that many," he confessed.

"Think of it as more Pokemon than you can possibly imagine, then," she said. "The Draconian Empire is one of the world's largest empires, if not _the_ largest, since we span pretty much the entire world. Then again, that's because unlike most nations, we don't have borders in the same way other countries do. Our capitol, the flying palace-city called Sky Tower, drifts on the clouds, going wherever the wind takes it."

The Bagon gave her an incredulous look. "It flies?!"

Joy nodded. "Yep."

"Then…that means everyone there must fly too?" he asked hopefully.

"Not everyone, but quite a few people," Joy said. "It's sort of helpful to have that ability when you live that far up. Anyway, since we don't have a static point on Earth that we could call 'home' to serve as the seat of government, we have numerous states, cities, holdings, and other pieces of occupied land whose citizens have sworn fealty to the empire and are subject to our laws scattered around the globe. A Pokemon can also apply for citizenship even if they don't come from any of our territories, basically making wherever they live part of the empire just by being there. The law is delivered by our governors and representatives in our subject nations and enforced by the military. The Imperial Guard is the best of all the other branches of the military, because they are responsible for protecting the Sky Tower and its ruler, who leads the entire empire."

"And that leader is…Rayquaza?" the Bagon guessed.

Joy nodded. "With General Nuken as his second-in-command. Nuken has served him faithfully for centuries and helped ensure that Rayquaza's reign has been a long and steady one. However, while most of our subjects are happy and prosperous, many other nations and entities envy us and try to wage war in hopes of claiming our power for themselves, or in disrupting the order we maintain. What happened tonight was one such attempt, one more successful than most, much to our shame. The Froslass Bellum, a witch of great power who has been one of our worst enemies for centuries, took the guise of a visiting scholar from a distant land to win the trust of the imperial court and worm her way into Nuken's heart, so that she could conceive a child with him to use in her evil magic and strike at His Majesty directly, weakening and capturing him while the rest of the Guard was distracted fighting her minions. Bellum and her cronies serve an ancient evil that also has much reason to hate His Majesty, and they hoped to kill him, drain his power, and use it to release their master to destroy the empire and then the world." She shook her head in disgust. "And the audacity of her to try it near Wyvern Hill, too…this is sacred ground for our civilization! Thankfully, their plans failed, in no small part thanks to your efforts, or so I've heard. You're a real hero!"

"Thank you," he said, having no idea what that meant. "Does that mean I can come live with you Pokemon up in the Sky Tower and learn how to fly?"

"Definitely! For saving his life, I'm sure Rayquaza will give you anything your heart desires, including citizenship in the empire," said Joy. "Though the latter you were already eligible for anyway, considering that you're a dragon. All dragons automatically become citizens if they ask for it and agree to obey the law. If anyone else wants to join, they have to go through a much more lengthy and arduous bureaucratic process."

The Bagon blinked in surprise. "I could have joined all along? Why didn't I know about this before now?"

"You clearly live by yourself, honey. It's not like you could have asked anyone or heard about it from someone," Joy said kindly. "But now that you've met us, we can get you out of the hole you live in and into the kind of home any dragon would be proud of!"

"But I like my hole," the Bagon protested.

"You'll like three square meals a day, servants, a personal treasure hoard, indoor plumbing, free healthcare, and Internet and cable more, dear," Joy said.

"Those do sound nice," the Bagon admitted. "Especially the food."

"Once we've got His Majesty back on his tail, we can get you ready for a new life like you've never dreamed of!" Joy promised him.

"Will he be all right? He looks very badly hurt," the Bagon said in concern.

Joy smiled. "Of course he'll be fine. We're Joys, the world's best healers. I managed to get rid of your burns and fix up the hole in your side while we were talking, didn't I?"

"Huh?" The Bagon glanced down and was astonished to see that the spear wound had disappeared. It was like it had never been there to begin with! "H-how did you-"

Joy winked. "Trade secret. And it's because of those secrets His Majesty will be as good as new in no time!"

"Honey, could you come over here for a moment?" the eldest Joy supervising Rayquaza's healing, a massive matronly Blissey, called to the Joy tending to the Bagon.

"Sure Mom, what is it?" the Chansey asked, walking over to her superior.

The Blissey whispered something to her. The Chansey's eyes widened in horror, and she whispered back. They held a hushed conversation, then called Nuken over and spoke to him in very low voices. The Bagon wondered what they were talking about. From the way Nuken started and began cursing, he figured it had to be something bad. "Are you serious?!" the Shedinja hissed. "You must be joking!"

"I'm afraid not," the Blissey said quietly.

"But-but you're _Joys!_ You're the best medical practitioners in the world! Even _death_ isn't particularly an obstacle to you, if you get to your patient fast enough! You expect me to believe that you can't…that His Majesty is…that he…" Nuken trailed off, the thought so horrible he couldn't even vocalize it.

The emerald serpent in question, who had regained consciousness some time after the Joys had begun their ministrations, coughed, spat up some blood, and hoarsely asked Nuken to come over. The Shedinja immediately obeyed his master, as the Joys tried to clean up the blood. Rayquaza whispered something to his second, who gave him an incredulous look. "Your Majesty…are you certain…"

"Are you questioning my judgment, Nuken?" the wounded god rumbled.

"I…n-no, of course not, sire. Never. As you command." He floated away and raised his voice. "Everyone! His Majesty would like to have a private word with me. I must ask all of you—yes, even you, Joys—to leave the premises immediately and not to come within half a mile of here until I say otherwise. And you are to stay _grounded_, we are about to discuss affairs of the state, and I do not want anyone to see or hear what goes on here. Anyone who disobeys this order will be brought up on charges of treason and executed. Do I make myself clear?" The soldiers and Joys knew Nuken was not making an idle threat. He took his job seriously, and never said anything he didn't mean. They quickly packed up and rushed away from the clearing, now wanting to incur the majordomo's wrath. The Bagon, figuring that order meant him too, started to leave, until the Shedinja intercepted his path. "Not you, hero. His Majesty wishes to speak to you, too."

_Oh dear_, the Bagon thought. _This can't be good._ Nevertheless, he obeyed and followed Nuken towards the prostrate form of Rayquaza. He didn't want to piss the Shedinja off.

"You are the one who stopped the ceremony," Rayquaza said wearily once the Bagon was standing before him.

"Yes," the Bagon said.

"Why did you do it?" Rayquaza asked.

"I don't know. It just…seemed like the right thing to do," the Bagon said uncertainly.

Rayquaza would have nodded if he weren't so tired and his muscles so sore and torn up. "Do you know who I am, little one?"

"You are Rayqauza," the Bagon said automatically. "The avatar of the Dragon God King and ruler of the Draconian Empire."

"That is correct. Do you know why you came here in the middle of the night, leaving the safety and warmth of your cave behind?" Rayquaza asked.

"Something…was calling me," the Bagon admitted. "Telling me to come here."

"That something was me," Rayquaza said. "Even in the coma Bellum's spells and torture put me in, I was still able to send a distress signal that only a Dragon-type such as you would have been able to hear. I was unsure that the Imperial Guard would arrive in time to save me, so I called for help in hopes that someone could distract Bellum's coven until Nuken and the others could save the day. You answered that call, and you fulfilled my expectations quite nicely. You may have even saved the world."

"Does that mean I can live in your tower and learn how to fly?" the Bagon asked.

Nuken bristled. "You dare demand a boon from His Majesty in his present condition?!"

"Nuken, relax. Yes little one, you may live in the Sky Tower and learn how to fly. However, I must ask something of you in return," Rayquaza said.

"What is it?" the Bagon asked.

"I am going to die," Rayquaza said. "The wounds Bellum and her minions inflicted on me are too great for even the expertise of the Joy clan to repair. The last of my life is draining from me even as we speak, and soon I shall be no more."

The Bagon blinked in surprise. "But…but you are a god! You can't die…can you?"

"We can indeed, though for us death is not quite the same as it is for mortals," Rayquaza said. "Regardless, my death is not something this world can afford. Without me, the balance the Draconian Empire maintains will collapse and dragons will wage war across the globe, fighting each other for territory and power and treasure. Not only that, but the elements themselves may come undone, for I play a significant part in keeping the forces of nature in check. Bellum may even be able to summon her master, whom I oppose, using the power she stole from me and put into that child of hers, if I am not there to stop her. When I die and my soul leaves this planet, Earth will fall into chaos…and that is where you come in, little one."

The Bagon frowned. "What do you mean?"

"There must always be a Rayquaza. While you may not be a direct descendant of the celestial being we call the Dragon God King, you are still a Dragon, and as such have the genetic makeup necessary to house his power. The fact that you were able to absorb some of my energy when you bit into the chain in my tongue is proof of that," Rayquaza said.

The Bagon started. "W-wait! You're telling me that you want me to become…_you?!"_

"Essentially, yes," Rayquaza said.

"But…but…I can't become you! I'm a mortal! Mortals can't become gods just like that, can they?!" the Bagon protested.

"It happens more often than you'd think," Nuken muttered.

"You must do this," Rayquaza urged. "The world needs a Rayquaza, and you are the only Dragon I can trust to do it. The empire is completely alien to you, so you have no personal agendas or political ambitions to cloud your judgment and keep you from doing what's best for everyone rather than just yourself."

"You're also completely unknown, so nobody will miss you or notice you were gone if you happened to…disappear," Nuken said.

"But I have no idea how to rule an empire! I'm just a guy who lives in a hole on the side of a cliff! I'm the wrong person for this sort of thing!" the Bagon cried desperately.

"Maybe so, but you're all I've got," Rayquaza said.

"But nobody will believe I'm really you!" the Bagon argued, getting a flash of insight. "That's what you're angling for, isn't it? More than for me to be your successor, but for everyone to think that I'm you, because if they believed I was just some other Rayquaza here to take your place that would still ruin everything and throw the empire into chaos! How am I supposed to make them think I'm you if I'm really me inside?"

"That's what you have me for," Nuken said. "I have served His Majesty loyally for centuries, and know his mannerisms and thoughts better than anyone else. I will train you to think, speak, and act like His Majesty in every way, until everyone believes without a doubt that you _are_ His Majesty. And you will be…just not the one they're thinking of."

"But…" The Bagon sagged, realizing there really wasn't any way out of this. No way that wouldn't get him and possibly the whole world in grave danger, that is. "All…all right. I'll do it. I'll become Rayquaza. Just…tell me one thing. Will I be able to fly?"

Rayquaza laughed weakly, until he started coughing up blood again. "Of course you will. How do you think I get around? I can't very well walk wherever I please, now can I?"

"You could slither," Nuken said.

Rayquaza rolled his eyes. "It was a rhetorical question, Nuken."

"So…h-how do we do this?" the Bagon asked nervously.

Rayquaza took a deep breath, eyes rolling back in their sockets, and managed to hock up a large ball of…something. The Bagon recoiled in disgust as saliva, blood, and bile dripped off the object, revealing it to be a glittering green crystal sphere. "That is the Green Orb," Rayquaza wheezed. "It contains all my power and knowledge. Consume it, and you shall become like me."

"_Eat_ it?! It was just _inside_ of you!" the Bagon exclaimed.

"I'm sure you've eaten worse things out here in the sticks…" Nuken muttered.

"Well, yeah, I probably have," the Bagon admitted. Nuken sweatdropped.

With the Green Orb gone, what little life remained seemed to drain rapidly from the dragon god's form. "Nuken," he gasped. "Take care of him. Make sure…he stays on the right path. Treat him and obey him as you would me. I know…you can do it."

"…As you command, Your Majesty," Nuken whispered. "I am, as always, your most humble and obedient servant."

"I hope to see you again one day…on the other side," Rayquaza breathed. "Farewell…my friend." He closed his eyes and lay silent.

"Your Majesty…" Nuken said tremulously, his form shaking like a leaf. He would have cried if he had tear ducts rather than being a hollow cast-off husk.

The Bagon bit his lip, trying not to cry. He said nothing, not wanting to interrupt the Shedinja in his grief. He looked down at the Green Orb glistening innocuously in the starlight, recalling his promise and the dead god's last request. With a heavy sigh, he picked up the Orb, closed his eyes, and shoved it down his throat.

And then he was a Bagon no more.

Later, official reports would state that the king had recovered from his wounds when the brave Bagon had selflessly sacrificed his life to revitalize his god, his entire being dissolving into energy to save Rayquaza. The Bagon was given a posthumous name and title, and a rather nice monument was constructed in the clearing which pilgrims to Wyvern Hill occasionally visited to pay their respects.

Anyone in a position to know that this was not the whole truth was quickly silenced. Bellum's subordinates were swiftly executed before they could breathe a word about how severe Rayquaza's wounds had really been, and the Joys who had tended to Rayquaza were sworn to silence on the subject on pain of death. The last piece of evidence that would implicate the true Dragon God King had died that night in that clearing, the old king's corpse, was disposed of by his successor, who took it up into space on his maiden flight in his new body and hurled it into the sun, where it would be safely incinerated so that nobody would ever know there had, for a moment, been two Rayquazas.

As for Bellum, things didn't go so well. Not only did she find out that her plan had been foiled and Rayquaza was apparently still alive, not only did her master punish her severely for her failure, but her latest child, Lily, not only seemed to be unable to use the power she had absorbed from Rayquaza but had a partial aversion to killing and a _nice streak_ of all things. She was so furious that she turned Lily into her whipping Ghost, abusing her daily for the next three centuries to work out her frustrations and anger issues. Things started looking up for the ice witch, however, when a representative of an organization called the Nihilators approached her with an interesting proposition…

The rest was, shall we say, history.

…

Meanwhile, in Dusk Forest…

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"Yes."

"Really?"

"No."

"Then why'd you say we were?"

"I was hoping it would shut you up."

"That wasn't very nice!"

"I'm not a very nice person, you idiot."

Wabbaku sighed as Jessie and James kept bickering. Behind them, Buzz flitted about keeping a compound eye out for any danger, while Mickey kept eating from his jar of dirt. "Seriously, when _are_ we going to get there?" Gardenia, who was up front with Wabbaku, asked.

"We'll get there when we get there," Wabbaku said. "Dusk Forest is a tricky place, and the Ghosts here set lots of booby traps to frighten visitors. The spirits are showing me a route through the woods that skirts past most of the traps and should get us into the Twilight's Edge cemetery without attracting much notice."

"And once we're dere, we can get dat grave moss you need to cure me, right?" Mickey asked, licking mud off his lips.

Wabbaku nodded. "Once we have the moss, I will only need a couple of other ingredients before I can concoct an antidote to your demonic affliction. In the meantime, keep eating that dirt I gave you to slow down your transformation into a demon."

"I got dat covered," Mickey said, grabbing another rather large clump of dirt and shoving it into his mouth.

"I'll be glad when this whole mess is over and we can go back to our _real_ mission of finding Team Aurabolt," Jessie complained. "And those spirits of yours had better point us in the right direction this time! The last two times we followed their advice, Mickey got possessed, and then we got involved in a children's card game!"

Wabbaku wisely decided not to point out that Team Aurabolt had indeed been in Turtle Town and Battlus, and were in fact in Twilight's Edge at that very moment. They didn't need any more distractions from their current task. And besides, it's not like he intended to stick around long enough to help the bumbling thieves try and capture Team Aurabolt once he had fulfilled his obligation to the Rockets and cured Mickey. "The spirits are wise, but not infallible," he said, mentally apologizing to his ancestors. "It is also possible that we are simply misinterpreting their guidance. Things that seem clear on the other side don't always translate over very well when communicated to us mortals."

"Oh, so it's like they're speaking to you over a cell phone with a lousy connection and every other word they say sounds like something else entirely?" James interpreted.

Wabbaku sighed. "That is a completely incorrect and simplistic way of looking at it, but it would be easier for me to let you think that's how it works then go into detail about how the Omniverse _really_ functions."

"Okay," said James, blissfully content in his ignorance. The idiot.

"Chiii!" said Chimecho.

"I wonder what graveyard dirt tastes like," Mickey commented. "Do you think the residue from da dead bodies buried in dem adds flavor?"

Gardenia sweatdropped. "You're eating other kinds of dirt now?!"

"I'm getting a real taste for dis stuff," Mickey said, taking more clumps from his jar.

"I'm starting to wonder if maybe I would have been better off painting sealing wards on him again after all…" Wabbaku muttered to himself. "At least then he wouldn't be experimenting with new and unusual diets…"

The Rockets continued through the forest towards the graveyard, unaware of the horrible fate that awaited them there. Had they known about it beforehand, it probably wouldn't have changed anything, which is one possible explanation for why Wabbaku's spirits didn't warn him ahead of time, since they didn't think it would make a difference. Were they wrong to do so? The world may never know…

…

Meanwhile, in the Olive Jungle…

Racers Rick Recreant and his partner Chumley had managed to get in the lead, and intended to make the most of it. And by make the most of it, I mean they'd decided to stop on the side of the road and set a trap to stop the other racers rather than just keeping the lead and driving for the finish. "This will be perfect, Chumley!" Rick, a Shiftry with a very nice whiplash mustache, said as he and Chumley pulled back and forth on a two-mon saw to cut down a very large tree. "With this tree blocking the road, the other racers won't be able to catch up to us and we'll be able to reach the finish line in no time!"

"But couldn't they just go around the tree? Or over it? Or even through it? I think more than one of the cars can fly at least a short distance…and a few may have buzzsaws…and if all else fails, they could probably just blast through it using special attacks or an item or two…" Chumley, a Poochyena, pointed out.

Rick sighed in exasperation. "Chumley, your negative attitude is precisely the reason we never come in first."

"I thought it was because we kept trying to cheat and always wound up sabotaging ourselves," Chumley said.

"Oh, shut up and keep sawing," Rick growled. Chumley sighed and did just that.

A few minutes later, they could hear the roar of the other racers' motors as they came up the road. "Ack! They caught up quicker than I thought! Hurry Chumley, we have to chop this tree down!" Rick cried.

"Couldn't we just hop in the car and drive off before they get here?" Chumley asked.

"No! Keep sawing!" Rick growled.

"This would probably go a lot faster if you knew Cut or something like that…" Chumley grumbled, reluctantly obeying his partner.

They quickly sawed through as much of the trunk as they could, then backed away to a safe distance and fired Shadow Balls at the tree until it creaked and started to tip over. "Timberrrrrr!" Rick crowed eagerly.

"It's going to fall backwards on us or crush our car, I'm sure of it," Chumley grumbled.

Surprisingly, it did neither. The tree toppled over and crashed down onto the track, blocking the road…several seconds _after_ all of the other racers had passed by and driven off into the distance, leaving Rick and Chumley behind.

Rick hopped up and down in frustration. "Drat and double-drat! Our plan failed! Who could have seen this coming?!"

"I did," Chumley said.

"Shut up, Chumley. Quickly, we've got to get going before they get too far…eh? What's that?" Rick said, cocking an ear.

He and Chumley listened carefully. "It sounds like another car is coming," Chumley said after a moment.

Rick laughed triumphantly. "That's right; those idiots in the Mach 6 were trailing behind everyone else! Then our plan wasn't a complete failure, if it ends the race for them. Just think of it Chumley, for once somebody rather than us will finish in dead last!"

"That would be a welcome change," Chumley agreed. "Come on, let's get out of here, we might still be able to catch up to the other racers if we hurry." They quickly ran to their car, got in, and drove away.

Moments later, Gary and Evan in the Mach 6 turned a corner and found themselves faced with a massive fallen tree blocking the road. "Well, that's not good," Gary said.

"How're we sssupposssed to get around that?" Evan wondered.

"No worries, we'll just go over it!" Gary said, accelerating towards the tree trunk.

"Uh, Gary, how are we sssupposssed to do that? There'sss no conveniently placed ramp we can ussse to launch ourssselvesss over it! And our car can't fly!" Evan protested.

"It may not be able to fly," Gary said, reaching for a button set into the steering wheel. "But it can jump real good!" He pressed the button, activating the car's auto-jacks and boosting them up and over the tree trunk with a springing sound.

"Waaahhh! We're gonna crash!" Evan cried.

"No we're not," Gary said.

He was wrong. They smashed into the top of one of the jungle trees lining the road, getting caught in its branches. The branches creaked ominously, but somehow managed to support the weight of the large racecar stuck on them. "Okay, I was wrong," Gary admitted, as Evan spit out some leaves.

"Get outta my house, you no-goodniks!" a Mankey screeched, throwing nuts at them.

"Don't worry, good sir, we'll be out of your foliage in just a moment, as soon as I activate the cutter blades!" Gary assured the Mankey.

Evan blinked. "Cutter…Gary, why didn't you ussse thossse on the tree to begin with?!"

"…Shut up, Evan." Gary pressed another button on the steering wheel, causing a pair of rotary saws to emerge from the front of the car and start cutting into the branches. "We'll be back on the road in no time!"

"Gary, wait, I'm not sssure thisss isss the bessst idea-" Evan started, but was cut off when the branches gave out from under them and the Mach 6 plummeted several dozen meters towards the ground below. As Evan screamed, Gary quickly pressed another button, activating the car's Deflector and sealing the cockpit in a crash-proof dome just before they could hit the ground. He did it just in time, too, because the car landed upside-down, and Evan's brains—few as they were—would have been splattered all over the place were the deflector not in the way. Instead, Evan just banged his head against the dome and gave himself a mild concussion. "Ow," the Ekans moaned.

"Well, that wasn't so bad," Gary said. Without warning, the air bags deployed, smashing him in the face and squashing him back in his seat. "I stand corrected."

"Get off my lawn, you no-goodniks!" the Mankey screeched, throwing nuts at them.

"It certainly looks like the crew of the Mach 6 has their work cut out for them if they want to win this race," the announcer commented back at the stands, watching the drama like everyone else on big-screen TVs. "It shouldn't take them long to get back on their wheels, but Team Nightshade is going to need to take things a lot more seriously if they're going to have any hope of winning the Prix Cup!" The crowd started booing, and the Pokemon who had thought it would be a good idea to bet on Team Nightshade based on the Mach 6's past performance cursed and swore vengeance against the duo for being such lousy racers and wasting their money. Torque put his face in his hands and wept.

"They really don't stand a chance, do they?" Maren asked unhappily.

"Unless they're going to miraculously win at the last second and pull out superb driving skills that somehow let them overtake all the other much more experienced racers like always happens in the movies, no," said Mary, peering through the grille of the air duct she and Maren were hiding in at the glittering Prix Cup sitting on a pedestal in the room below them. "Hand me that fishing cord, will you? Since those idiot boys aren't going to win this race, it's up to us to get the compass piece for them."

Maren sighed and handed Mary the wire. _It's all for Princess Sara and the Mirage Kingdom_, she reminded herself. _Screw the medal; I'd better get a frigging promotion for this. And maybe a title and land. And a mansion. I've always wanted a mansion. Then again, who doesn't? Mansions are nice._ Her eyes bulged as she realized where her train of thought was taking her. _Good lord, am I really becoming as petty and materialistic as they are?! I've been hanging out with these hoodlums for too long. A few weeks ago, I would _never_ have entertained the thought of earning massive accolades and rewards for myself just for doing a good soldier's duty!_

…_Still, a mansion _would_ be nice…_

…

And that's that. Merry winter holidays and a happy new year to everyone! See you again in 2010!


	34. Shapeshifter Showdown

Happy New Year, readers!

To welcome in the New Year, here's a new lengthy chapter, chock-full of plot and action-y goodness! Yes, I'm aware action-y isn't a word. I don't give a damn.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

With a groan and the shattering of rusted hinges, the great metal doors fell inward, slamming to the ground with a great crash that echoed throughout the temple, throwing up great clouds of dust and making weak portions of the roof cave in. Everyone looked at Ash in annoyance. "What?!" he protested. "I was just trying to push them open! How was I supposed to know they'd just collapse like that?!"

Pikachu sighed. "Well, if our enemy didn't know we were here before, he does now."

"Good," Yamiri growled, tightening his grip on his mace. "Then he knows that we have brought his end."

Cautiously, they entered the temple, driven to coughing fits almost at once due to all the dust drifting about. Leo had to suck on his inhaler to keep from choking. "Can't imagine why nobody from town's moved in," the Squirtle wheezed when he had caught his breath as he looked around at all the dust, cobwebs, and crumbling architecture. "Seems like a perfect place to haunt to me."

"Perhaps it's the cursed bell or the memories of the evil monster that used to lurk here that drives them away?" Sasha suggested.

"If anything, I'd have thought that would make them all the more _eager_ to live here, considering how much they love scary stuff," Leo pointed out.

"There are some things that even Ghosts find too terrifying," Yamiri said.

"Like what?" Leo asked. Yamiri told him. "Ah," he said. "Yeah, that is pretty scary."

The interior of the temple was very dark, and the few shafts of moonlight coming in through holes in the ceiling or the open doorway behind them did little to illuminate the place. Fortunately, Ash didn't need to use his eyes to see in the dark, Leo's sunglasses had night vision, Pikachu's glowing sword could provide him with light, and Yamiri and Sasha could see in the dark due to being Dark types. Tiny wasn't as lucky and kept tripping over things as they passed through the entry hall, the walls lined with serpent mosaics whose eyes gleamed sinisterly at the group despite the years of filth covering them, and came into the main sanctuary. It reminded Ash and Pikachu much of Yamiri's temple back home, only a bit bigger, on the surface rather than underground, with the entrance on the bottom floor instead of the top, and dedicated to evil rather than the divine. A central open shaft ran from the top of the temple to the bottom, supported by enormous moldering pillars with stone bejeweled serpents wrapped around them, terraces with serpentine railings and blasphemous images and statues lining the walls (those that hadn't caved in, that is). The ceiling was covered by a faded painting of a monstrous eight-headed serpent coiled about the sun, looking as if it were about to devour it. In the center of the room were the remains of a large obsidian sculpture. It was a little hard to tell due to all the destruction and the deterioration caused by age, but it looked as if it had once been a giant snake constricting Arceus and several other deities to death.

Pikachu curled his lip in disgust when he saw the desecrated sanctum, and Yamiri made the sign of Arceus's wheel. "What audacity, to turn a place of sacred worship into a narcissistic den of evil…" Yamiri murmured.

"I'm glad my ancestor killed the monster that turned the temple into this. I'm only disappointed he didn't finish the job and bring this place to the ground," Pikachu said.

"Don't worry, I'm sure that once we've defeated the boss, the place will start collapsing, and we'll need to race to the exit to get out before the roof comes down on our heads," Leo said cheerfully. He took a picture for commemorative purposes, and then started rubbing his hands together eagerly. "So! Here we are, the third—or fourth, if you count Mt. Battle—dungeon! About time! Where do we start?"

Yamiri glanced at the ceiling, sneering at the fresco. "The bell is at the top of the temple. That would probably be where we can find our adversary."

"Plus, it's where my ancestor fought Yamatorochi, so it would be a fitting battleground this go-around," Pikachu agreed.

Sasha nodded. "The greatest source of danger in this place is directly above us…though that might also be from the possibility of the roof caving in. I do not think this temple will be remain standing for much longer, especially not after we start fighting."

"Wait," Ash said, checking the place with Aura-sight. "I'm picking up two powerful energy signatures, connected by lines running through the walls. One is right above us, like you guys said, and it seems to be the source of the negative energy all around us. However…there's another one right beneath us. It's also giving off negative vibes, but it's got a core of…not quite normality, but definitely something not as bad as the rest of it. I think it's worth checking out."

"Maybe it's where the abductees are being held?" Leo guessed.

"Including Master Yon…" said Yamiri.

"So how do we get downstairs?" Pikachu asked, glancing at the floor.

Ash turned around slowly, scanning the temple surrounding them with Aura-sight. "I think I see a stairway…over here." He led the group across the temple floor and down a narrow hallway to a door literally pulsating with evil magic.

"I think we're on the right track," Leo said, analyzing the door with his sunglasses. "There's a powerful seal spell on this thing. Whatever's behind here, our bad guy doesn't want to be found."

"All the more reason to knock it down," said Pikachu.

"So, how do we open it?" Ash asked.

Father Yamiri drew another prayer slip. "This should serve as a makeshift key." He pressed it against the door, concentrating energy into it. The paper started glowing brilliantly, causing runes, spell diagrams, and wiggling serpents to light up on the door. They wavered frantically, struggling to maintain cohesion, but were no match against the holy might of the slip. With a flash of light, the door disintegrated, the energy that had been holding it shut dissipating into thin air, revealing a staircase leading down into the depths of the temple.

"Those things really come in handy," Ash commented. "Though I could probably have smashed it down, too."

"Like you smashed down the front door?" Pikachu asked.

Ash sweatdropped. "Ah. Point."

"Be careful on the way down," Sasha said as they began climbing down the stairs. "I sense a few of these stairs are not quite-" One of the stairs crumbled away as Tiny put his weight on it. Thankfully, Ash caught him before he could plummet to his death through the resulting hole. The Larvitar sucked his pacifier gratefully. "Stable," Sasha finished.

"Thanks for the warning," Leo said sarcastically. He looked at his waist and grimaced. "I really need to lose more weight…"

Cautiously, they continued down the stairs, shifting their weight carefully so as not to put too much stress on the aged stairs. Yamiri was the only one who had nothing to worry about, since he could just levitate a few inches off the ground, much to the annoyance and envy of the others. Soon enough, their harrowing descent was brought to a stop by a sealed door similar to the one they had just come through. "Yep, there must be something really important down here," Leo repeated.

Ash nodded in agreement. "I can see a big energy source behind the door. It's shaped kind of oddly, though."

"Let's go in and check it out," Pikachu said.

"The seal on this door is stronger than the last one," Yamiri said after a moment's perusal. "Pikachu, could you lend me your sword? If we combine our powers we should be able to dispel the seal."

"No problem, Father," Pikachu said, drawing back his sword. "Just say the word."

"Right." Yamiri drew another slip, concentrating his energy into it. "Now!" he shouted, thrusting the slip forward. Pikachu stabbed his sword into the door at the same time. The instant the holy weapons made contact with the evil magic, there was an even brighter flash of light then before, followed by a more impressive and colorful disintegration.

"Coool," Leo said, impressed. Tiny sucked his pacifier, rather apathetic. "You know, Father, those things are really useful. Where can I get some of those? Or would it be easier for me to photocopy them on regular paper so I can have my own set?"

"It doesn't work that way," Yamiri said. "I'm afraid that if you want to hold prayer slips like these one day, you'll be waiting for a very long time. First you'd have to join the Arcean Order for life—and unlife—and even then you'd need to train for hundreds of years before they even let you _look_ at one of these things."

"Hmm, yeah, I don't think I have time to do that, unless I achieve immortality first," Leo said. "Maybe I'll just buy some off the Internet instead."

Yamiri snorted. "I highly doubt you'll be able to find any. We keep the prayer slips and other holy artifacts under heavy lock and key."

Leo raised an eyebrow. "That so? Then would you mind explaining how I got these?" He took out his lucky dice, filling the gloomy stairwell with light.

Yamiri gasped. "Those are the blessed dice of St. Gygax! Where did you get those?!"

"I told you, I ordered them off the Internet," Leo said.

"But…but that's not possible, how could anyone…" Yamiri stammered incredulously.

"I get the feeling you should have a talk with whoever's in charge of guarding and inventorying the artifacts," Pikachu said.

Yamiri frowned, his face darkening. (More so than it already was, since he was a Dark-type.) "Yes…I think I will. My superiors would be most interested in hearing about this. Ah, Leo, I don't supposed you'd mind returning-"

Leo quickly put the dice back in his shell. "What're you, kidding? I bought these things fair and square! Besides, they've come in handy a few times now; if I gave them up I might be leaving myself open to some serious trouble in the future!"

"He has a point," Sasha admitted. "Those dice have helped him defeat a gaming demon bent on killing him—and the rest of us—on at least two occasions now. Should that demon ever return, those dice might be key to taking it down again."

Yamiri hesitated. "Well…the decision's not really up to me, this is something for my superiors to decide…but I suppose you can hold onto them for the time being, if they've really been so useful."

"Cool," said Leo. "I was hoping you'd say that, because not only are they excellent at defeating evil gaming demons, whenever I use these babies in a tabletop RPG no one can beat me!" The others sweatdropped.

"Shouldn't we be going inside already?" Ash asked, indicating the open door.

"Yes, that would probably be a good idea," Pikachu said. "We let ourselves get distracted way too easily, don't we?" Tiny sucked his pacifier in agreement.

They went through the open doorway. They found themselves in what looked to be some kind of basement subchamber, empty save for a rather large Spiritomb sitting in the center, the swirling vortex that made up its face roiling violently as it struggled to break free from its keystone prison and the very large glowing rune-covered circle surrounding it. "A Spiritomb?" Yamiri said in surprise. "What's one of those doing here?"

"I thought you said the evil presence you sensed was at the top of the temple, not down here," a puzzled Pikachu said to Ash.

"I did," Ash said, equally perplexed. "Maybe it's a good Spiritomb?"

"…Ash, Spiritombs are Ghost Pokemon created when one hundred and eight evil spirits are sealed into a keystone prison. They _can't_ be good Pokemon," Pikachu said.

Leo snapped his fingers. "Wait! One hundred and eight…that's the number of Ghosts our mystery villain kidnapped!"

Yamiri gasped, catching his drift. "Then you mean…Master Yon and the others might be in there?!"

"Ha! Told you there could be good Spiritombs!" Ash said to Pikachu, who sighed and rolled his eyes.

"I do not sense any danger from the Spiritomb, just from that circle around it…and the floor, for some reason," Sasha said.

Ash examined the floor with Aura-sight. "Yeah, I see what you mean. It isn't giving off the same Aura the rest of the evil magic in this place is. And the floor's covered with these weird-looking invisible glyph things. They don't look safe."

"Must be some kind of curse or mystic trap," Leo said.

"Then if it's a trap, we can get rid of it with one of these," Pikachu said, pulling a Trapburst Orb from his pack. "Everyone, take a few steps back." They quickly backed into the stairwell. Pikachu pressed the button on top of the sphere and flung it into the room. The button beeped, flashing a few times, and then the Orb exploded in a flash of light. There were several dozen smaller flashes of light and loud snapping noises as the invisible traps scattered around the room were destroyed all at once. The Spiritomb's vortex face warped in surprise, looking unnervingly distorted in the process.

"All clear," Ash said, checking the room again with Aura-sight. Their guard relaxing a fraction, they reentered the basement chamber.

"So, what is this thing?" Pikachu asked, indicating the circle around the Spiritomb. "Some kind of containment spell?"

"Close, it's a mandala, like the one Master Yon was using, only larger," Yamiri said.

"And used for evil purposes. This one's designed to _drain_ energy from whatever's inside it, not focus and intensify it," Leo reported after a scan from his sunglasses. "That energy is being fed through invisible channels up to the top of the tower."

"Then this is the big evil spell thing we're here to disrupt," Ash realized. "Any idea what that energy is being used for?"

Leo shook his head. "Afraid not. There must be a second mandala the energy is flowing into. The specifications for what the power's being used for must be upstairs, all we've got here is…is like the power supply for a supercomputer, the thing generating the power has no control over what programs the thing it's energizing is running."

"But if we can destroy this spell down here, we can stop whatever our enemy is trying to power," Sasha reasoned.

Yamiri nodded. "That is a reasonable assumption, yes."

"You'd think the bad guy who set all this up would have guarded something like this more securely," Ash commented.

"What do you call the two sealed doors, unsafe staircase, and the dozens of traps covering the floor?" Pikachu said. Ash nodded, seeing his point.

"How do we go about breaking this spell?" Sasha asked, examining the complicated runes and lines filling the circle.

"Another prayer slip should do the trick," Yamiri said.

"Hold on, before we destroy the spell, remember that it's keeping that Spiritomb in there," Pikachu pointed out. "Even if it was created from one hundred and eight mischievous but otherwise good Pokemon, that doesn't mean the resulting mix is necessarily safe or even sane. If we break the circle, it can get out. Are we positive that's a good thing?"

"We could take it," Ash said confidently.

"Spiritombs are Ghost/Dark types, much like myself," Yamiri said. "That means they have no weaknesses to any elemental type, and are completely immune to quite a number as well. Add in the combined experience and powers of the collective souls used to create the Spiritomb, and you have a very dangerous creature on your hands. Why do you think—other than ethical reasons—nobody makes Spiritombs anymore, and why all the ones in existence are always under heavy guard?"

"But that might not be a problem in this one's case, since it was created from good Pokemon rather than evil ones," Ash said.

"And I do not sense a particular amount of danger from it," Sasha said. "I think it will be safe to release it."

"I suppose…" Pikachu said reluctantly, still not completely convinced. Somebody always had to be the cautious skeptic in a group, and that role often seemed to fall to him.

As if to dispel the last of the samurai's doubts, the imprisoned vortex shifted and imploded on itself, the green squiggles and orbs making up its features rearranging themselves to form a very familiar face. "Ya…miri…"

Yamiri gasped, instantly recognizing the single eye staring back at him from the depths of the Spiritomb's cloud of souls. "Master Yon!"

"Ya…miri…cannot…hold…long…so many…voices…screaming…help me…release us…RE…LEASE US! END…OUR TORMENT!" the apparition wailed in Yon's voice.

"Master!" Yamiri cried.

"Okay, that's good enough for me. Let's get him out of there!" Pikachu said.

"To do that, we're going to need to destroy the keystone melding all the souls together, and to do _that_, we're first going to need to get rid of this spell," Leo said.

Ash closed his eyes and looked at the mandala again with Aura-sight. "I think I see three weak spots. Those circles on the edge of the spell, where the drained energy is flowing up to the top of the tower."

"Those are the conduits channeling the power being stolen from the Spiritomb," Leo agreed. "If we take those out, the energy will have nowhere to go and the spell will backfire, freeing the Spiritomb."

"Uh, when you say backfire, how big of an explosion are we talking about here?" Pikachu asked cautiously.

"Um…" Leo hesitated. "Not enough to make the ceiling cave in and kill us all. I hope."

Pikachu sweatdropped. "Great…"

"If there are three conduits to destroy, then this will require another team effort," Yamiri said. "Come! Ash, Pikachu, lend me your power once more!"

"Right! You guys do that while I just stand back a safe distance," Leo said, quickly running for the door.

"I think I will join you," Sasha said, following him. Tiny considered a moment, then shrugged and went after them.

"All at once now," Yamiri said, focusing power into the prayer slip and causing it to glow. "On three!"

"THREE!" Ash yelled, firing an Aura blast at his conduit. Pikachu quickly thrust his sword into the one in front of him, while Yamiri slapped his slip down on top of the third. The light emanating from the spell grew brighter, and static crackled through the air as the room started shaking. The Spiritomb's face chaotically swirled in excitement before it, and everything else, was swallowed up by a blinding flash of light that rocked the basement and knocked Yamiri, Ash, and Pikachu off their feet. "Waugh!" Ash cried.

"'Waugh?' What kind of exclamation of pain and surprise is that?" Leo complained, his eyes shielded from the glare by his shades. Tiny sucked his pacifier in agreement.

The light faded and the room stopped shaking, though quite a bit of dust and pebbles fell from the ceiling. With a grunt, the trio picked themselves up. Much to their delight, the mandala had been reduced to a big blackened scar on the ground, and the Spiritomb was now floating freely—if a bit aimlessly—around the room. "We did it!" Pikachu said.

"And now we must free Yon and the others from their imprisonment," Yamiri said.

"Leo, any special tricks we should use to crack this thing open?" Ash asked.

Leo shook his head as he, Sasha, and Tiny advanced back into the room. "Nope, a good show of brute force should do the trick."

"I think the combined strength of some our most powerful attacks will break the keystone," Sasha estimated.

Pikachu nodded. "Okay. Everyone form a circle around this thing and hit it with everything you've got!"

They quickly formed a loose ring around the Spiritomb, which looked at them expectantly. Or possibly quizzically. Or hungrily. Its face kept changing, so it was hard to make out individual expressions. All at once, they fired some of their most powerful attacks. Ash let loose with a Flash Cannon. Pikachu fired Thunder. Leo spat an Ice Beam. Sasha hurled Psycho Cuts. Tiny threw Hidden Power orbs. Yamiri shot a Dark Pulse, which made Ash flinch, but not enough to throw off his aim. The blasts converged on the keystone, causing it to flash and crackle with energy. The Spiritomb looked down at its base in bemusement as, pressured as it was beneath the force of all six Pokemon's attacks, cracks began to form in its surface. The cracks fissured, split, and widened, shafts of light beginning to emit from them. The shafts' numbers increased as the cracks grew and grew, until the entire keystone was covered in a web of light.

And then the rock exploded with a powerful blast that—again—knocked everyone off their feet, and caused the entire temple to shake ominously. As the dazed members of Team Aurabolt (and Father Yamiri) blinked and tried to regain their senses, there was a gust of wind and a chorus of exactly one hundred and eight joyous voices babbling and crying out ecstatically as they rushed out from the broken remains of the keystone, over their liberators, up the stairs, and out of the room. _Thank you,_ one last, deep voice whispered gratefully as it lingered briefly before departing like all the rest.

"Well, that was interesting," Leo said after a moment.

"Where did they all go?" Pikachu asked as they picked themselves up. "Back to town?"

"No. They have departed this plane of existence," Yamiri said sadly.

Ash blinked. "What? But I thought we were trying to rescue them! Are you telling me we just killed one hundred and eight people?!"

"Technically they were already dead. They were Ghosts to begin with," Sasha said.

Ash scowled. "You know what I mean!"

Yamiri shook his head remorsefully. "When I said we were going to rescue them, I never meant that we would be able to return them to Twilight's Edge. Master Yon and I knew when we came here there was a good chance we could not bring back the missing Ghosts even if we were to rescue their souls and defeat their captor. Just like the Ghosts Yamatorochi consumed, too much of the ectoplasm necessary to maintain a semi-physical form on Earth has been drained from them due to their imprisonment in the keystone. Without that ectoplasm, they have no anchor remaining to our world, so had no choice but to depart for the afterlife, restored to their truest selves…that of their innermost souls. All we could do was release them from their suffering inside the keystone and send them on their way, rather then bring them back to our world."

"What, even Master Yon?! But he just got captured less than an hour ago!" an astonished Ash protested. "How could he have lost all of his ecto-whatever so fast?"

"The energy drain spell probably activated the instant he was put in the keystone with the others," Leo commented. "Considering how much juice it was trying to pump out for…whatever it was powering, he was probably stripped of everything within seconds. It's amazing he managed to retain enough of himself to talk to us like that rather than just melding with the group mind most Spiritomb form."

"Master Yon has always had formidable mental acumen," Yamiri said loyally. "I am happy that I could speak to him at least one more time before sending him on his final journey. I wish I could have had more time with him…but often, what we want is not what we receive. Such is the way of things."

Ash sagged. "So…when we came here to rescue everyone, you knew beforehand there was no way we could get them back to town or to the forms they used to have, and that 'rescue' basically meant 'mercy kill'? Why didn't you mention that in the first place?!"

"I thought it was obvious," said Yamiri.

"Yeah, I saw it coming," said Leo.

"As did I," Sasha said. Tiny sucked his pacifier in agreement. Ash and Pikachu, who had apparently been kept out of the loop, sweatdropped.

"There's really no way we can bring them back?" Ash asked unhappily.

"They just left. How would you go about getting them back from beyond?" Leo asked.

"Er…good point," Ash said reluctantly.

"You seem awfully composed for someone who's just lost their oldest friend and mentor," Pikachu said to Yamiri.

"I'm saving my grief and rage to take out on whoever is responsible for this," the Sableye explained. "Besides, like I said, I knew there was a possibility that I could not truly save him. When you're a Ghost, the death of people you get close to is inevitable. You sort of get used to it after a while. Besides, it's not like I won't see him again when I eventually pass on for good. And while I am sorry he had to depart so soon, I am happy that I could ease his pain and allow him to rest in peace."

Five minutes later…

"Why aren't you resting in peace?!" an astonished Yamiri asked Master Yon.

The Dusknoir folded his arms, a somewhat annoyed look in his eye. "I'd have thought you'd be happier to see me."

"I-I am, I am," Yamiri said quickly. "It's just…I had prepared myself for the possibility of you leaving for good, not…well, sticking around a while longer. Especially like this."

'This' was referring to how Yon, as well as the one hundred and seven other ghosts that had been trapped in the Spiritomb, were now drifting miserably around the temple's main sanctuary, looking pretty much exactly as they had in undeath, except transparent and kind of hard to see if you didn't squint and turn your head a little. "I didn't expect this to happen, either," Yon admitted. "I assumed that when you broke the keystone and released us, we would all be free to cross over. Instead…"

"Instead, we're stuck in this shithole!" a panicking Shuppet wailed.

"We can't get out! When we try to pass through the walls or door or anything else, we just bounce off! We're trapped here!" a Gastly moaned.

"We've exchanged one prison for another!" cried a Misdreavus.

"Oh well, it's still better than that keystone. At least here we have a little breathing room," a Drifloon said optimistically.

"We don't need to breathe," a Gengar pointed out.

"I know, but if we did, we'd have more room here," the Drifloon said. "So it's still a little more comfortable, even if the decor isn't anything to write home about."

"Why are you guys all see-through?" Ash asked Yon, who was floating before them. "Is it because you lost your ecto-whatsit and powers inside the Spiritomb?"

Yon nodded. "Yes. We are now less than Ghost Pokemon, and yet still not quite free souls. We are little more than shades, imprisoned in this temple and unable to go on to our ultimate rewards."

"What could be keeping them all here?" Sasha wondered.

Leo gasped, getting a brainstorm. "It must be that evil bell! It's what summoned them all here, so it must also be what's keeping them from leaving! If we destroy it, they should all be set free for good!"

"…I don't follow your reasoning," said a confused Pikachu. "What gives you that idea?"

Leo rolled his eyes. "That's how magic works, duh!"

"He is correct. If you destroy the bell, that should set us all free," Yon said. "You'll have to go through whoever used it to entrap us all first, though."

"I don't suppose you can tell us who that is?" Ash asked.

Yon shook his head. "I did not see him; I was conjured directly into the Spiritomb. And the others do not know either, their memories of their imprisonment are somewhat blurred due to being all blended together inside the keystone."

"Yeah, when I look back at the last few weeks, all I get is a big headache," a Haunter complained. "Like I was on a really big bender or something."

"It does not matter who our foe is. We shall defeat him for what he has done to all of you!" Yamiri promised, raising his mace. "You can count on me, Master!"

Yon nodded. "I know I can. That is why I left my slips behind…I knew you could use them to come and save us."

"Really? I kind of figured they'd just gotten flung around when the portal opened in the study and sucked you in and we just happened to find them by chance," Leo commented. Yon and Yamiri glared at him. "Right. Shutting up now."

"Before we go…I don't suppose if you know of any way we can bring you guys back to, um, unlife, rather than just letting you die for real?" Ash asked.

Yon shook his head. "No way that I know of. Do not feel remorse, death comes to all things in time, even the dead. Well, undead. While I am disappointed to be leaving so soon—there was much I still feel I could have accomplished—I am willing to accept my fate and pass on with dignity."

"Speak for yourself, I still have a mortgage to pay off!" a Banette complained.

"And I'm not gonna get to see my kid born!" a Dusclops complained.

"…Wait, you guys are dead. How do you reproduce?" asked a confused Ash.

"Well, the fetus is basically a stillborn, so the kid is born dead, and their soul comes out of the rotten egg once it's laid and broken and becomes a baby Ghost," the Dusclops said.

"Oh," said Ash. "That's…kind of gross."

"Oh, and you fleshies giving birth is so much neater," the Dusclops said sarcastically.

"What you _really_ should be asking Ash, is not how the baby Ghost is born, but how it's _conceived,_" Leo said. "According to my studies, first the male Ghost-"

Pikachu electrified Leo. "I think that's more than any of us really want to know."

"I want to know," Sasha said.

"Well, the rest of us don't. So there," Pikachu said.

"We've wasted enough time talking about the miracle of undeath. We must go to the top of the temple, defeat our nemesis, and smash Yamatorochi's bell once and for all!" Yamiri declared.

"Speaking of which, you said you never saw the guy, so you don't know if it is or isn't Yamatorochi, right?" Pikachu asked Yon.

The Dusknoir shook his head apologetically. "Sorry, no."

"Whether he's Yamatorochi or not, we'll still take him down!" Ash said confidently.

"And so we go…to the top of the tower!" Leo cried dramatically, pointing at the ceiling. He paused, and then said. "So, where's the elevator?"

The others sweatdropped. "Leo, we're in a temple that's been closed off for over a hundred years. Even if there were an elevator—which there isn't—it would probably be broken down from all these years of disuse. We'll have to take the stairs," Pikachu said.

Leo's face fell. "The stairs?! But…look how tall this thing is! It's gotta be almost as, if not even taller, than that tower we had to climb back in Tiama's castle! You're telling me we have to _walk_ all the way up?!"

"Yes," Sasha said.

"Well, you'll have to walk, I can float," Yamiri said.

"I don't suppose anyone will carry me?" Leo pleaded.

"No," they all said.

Leo sighed. "Figures…all right, let's go."

They headed off to find some stairs. "We're doomed," a Drifblim said morosely.

"I believe they are stronger than you give them credit," Yon said.

"Tiny, for the last time, stop eating stuff you find on the ground, or so help me Arceus I'll…I'll…" Ash trailed off.

"You'll what?" Pikachu asked.

"I dunno. Scold him or something, I guess," Ash said.

"I don't think that'll make him stop," Leo commented.

"Well, I don't know what else I can do," Ash said. "Misty's always been the disciplinary parent. I'm more of the 'fun' parent."

"That explains a lot," Pikachu said. "If you were the only one who'd been raising Junior, I can imagine he'd have turned out a lot differently than he did."

Ash frowned. "Hey, what's that supposed to mean?"

"If you would like me to discipline Tiny, I would be more than happy to," Sasha offered.

"Thanks," Ash said. "What did you do to your kids when they misbehaved?"

She told him. They were all silent for a few moments before Ash quietly said, "Thanks, but no thanks…" Tiny sucked once on his pacifier, so horrified that he vowed to never eat anything he found on the ground again, or at least until he forgot and did it again.

The not-quite-Ghosts sweatdropped. "Yeah, we're doomed," the Drifblim said.

"Well, at least they have Yamiri," Yon said. "He'll keep them straight…I hope…"

…

A little later…

"How…much…further?" Leo gasped, sucking on his inhaler. "I can't…take…much more of this…"

"Leo, we just had a break five minutes ago," Ash said, rolling his eyes. "Besides, there's the ladder up to the roof right over there."

"Oh, good," Leo said, miraculously recovering from his exhaustion.

They had climbed a very long and winding spiral staircase that went up through the temple's multiple levels to the very top, and were now standing just beneath the entrance to the belfry, where Ash's Aura-sight and Sasha's disaster sense confirmed their quarry was holed up. They took a moment to prepare themselves for the coming battle. "All right," Yamiri said, clutching his mace. "Let's do this!"

"One question," Sasha said. "How am I supposed to climb that ladder?"

There was a pause as they considered this. "Um…" Ash said.

A couple of minutes later…

"Was that really necessary?" Pikachu asked Ash as they looked up at the large Sasha-shaped hole Ash had made in the hatch leading to the belfry.

Ash shrugged. "Seemed faster than rigging up a complex system of pulleys and winches like Leo suggested."

"At least my idea wouldn't have possibly bashed Sasha's brains out," Leo grumbled.

"Are you all right, Sasha?" Yamiri called up through the hole.

"Relatively speaking," the Absol replied. "And I see our adversary!"

"Great! Hold him off, we'll be right there," Ash said, climbing up the ladder.

"I don't think that will be a problem…" Sasha muttered.

When the team reached the top of the ladder they understood why Sasha had said that. None of them were sure what they had expected to find (well, strictly speaking that isn't true, most of them were half-expecting a resurrected evil eight-headed serpent), but what they found waiting for them was definitely not it. The dome-shaped belfry atop the tower was large and airy on account of the large arch-shaped holes in the sides, a few of which might have actually been there when the building was first erected. Most of these holes were covered by threadbare makeshift curtains to keep out the wind. Other modern conveniences and accommodations were scattered all over the place, such as a refrigerator, a generator, a small bathtub, a bookcase or two, some furniture and a couple of rugs, and several tables laden with complex equipment that looked vaguely scientific but also had a strangely archaic, almost mystical look to them. Hanging from a metal beam driven through the ceiling was an enormous metal bell covered in evil-looking runes, spiky metal studs, engraved serpents, and more than a few very old rusty brown bloodstains. Positioned on the floor beneath the bell was a mandala almost exactly identical to the one they had found in the basement, but rather than a Spiritomb a small red star-shaped gemstone that looked like it would make a good badge sat in the middle.

The entity that had made this hollowed-out temple its home sat before them in a somewhat worn armchair watching television, seeming oblivious to the intruders in his home or the Absol growling at him, hackles raised and hair standing on her back. And who was this entity, you might ask? The being who was the architect of all of Twilight's Edge's suffering and was responsible for the abduction and deaths (even more so) of one hundred and seven of the town's inhabitants, plus Master Yon?

It was a Ditto. A small pink gelatinous blob with vestigial facial features. It also wore a spiky red and purple cape and had an orange mark under its right eye, but other than that it didn't look particularly intimidating or the least bit evil. "Hey, can you come back in a few minutes? My show's not over yet!" the blob complained, noticing its guests.

Ash blinked, experiencing a bit of déjà vu and suddenly finding himself in the midst of a flashback. He, his (human) friends, Pikachu, some scientists, a Castform, a couple of Crawdaunts, and a number of men and women in blue and white outfits that made them look vaguely like pirates were staring up in alarm at a man in a black and red outfit with spiky purple hair, a green mark under his right eye, a Ditto on his shoulder, and a card in one hand laughing down at them. "You Team Aqua fools are too late!" he bragged. "The Man of a Thousand Faces strikes again! The Weather Institute's data on legendary Pokemon now belongs to Team Magma, courtesy of yours truly, the Phantom Thief…" Unfortunately, the vision stopped there, before Ash could learn the identity of the strange man who the Ditto might have been a Pokemon double of, much to his annoyance.

The heroes exchanged confused looks, wondering if they had taken a wrong turn somewhere. "Um, excuse me?" Pikachu asked after a moment.

The Ditto sighed and pressed the 'pause' button on his remote control. "Fine, I'll finish it later…whaddya want?"

"Are you the guy who's been abducting Ghost Pokemon from Twilight's Edge for the last few months?" Ash asked dubiously.

"And fused them into a Spiritomb for an as of yet unknown but most probably sinister purpose?" Leo asked.

"And ended the unlife of my beloved Master Yon in the process?" Father Yamiri asked.

The Ditto nodded. "Yeah. And are you jerks the ones who _destroyed_ my Spiritomb and mandala and ruined weeks of hard work that's gonna be a real bitch to start over, coming close to derailing my plans in the process?"

"Ha! Yep, we're those jerks!" Leo bragged. "And we'd do it again, too!"

"That's probably not something you should be boasting about so brazenly," Pikachu said. "Though you're right, we would do it again."

"Great! Now I know who to kill," the Ditto said, hopping out of his chair.

"You can _try_…" Yamiri growled, raising his mace.

"Wait! Before we fight…aren't you at least going to tell us who you are and what the heck you're up to?" Ash asked.

The Ditto frowned. "Why the hell should I do that?"

"It's sort of customary for the villain to reveal his plans to the hero just before the big fight scene," Leo said.

"You mean the villains who always get their butts kicked after they foolishly assume the hero stands no chance of defeating them?" the Ditto asked.

"_Do_ we stand a chance of beating you?" Leo asked.

The Ditto considered this for a moment. "Well, probably not. I _am_ a Ditto, after all."

"What does that have to do with anything?" Ash asked.

"Dittos can shapeshift, meaning he could theoretically turn into just about any Pokemon to fight us," Pikachu said.

"There's that, and the fact that I'm immoral," the Ditto said.

They stared at him blankly. "We already know you're immoral since you seem to have no problem with capturing (mostly) innocent Ghosts and using them to power…something…but what does that have to do with our being unable to defeat you?" a puzzled Yamiri asked.

The Ditto blinked. "Huh? No, that's not…I mean I'm that other thing, you know…can't be killed by any means?"

"You mean immortal?" Sasha asked.

The Ditto nodded. "Yep, that's the one; I'm immortal, not immoral. Well, I mean, I'm that too, but, you know."

"Dittos are immortal? I didn't know that," said the surprised Ash.

"I thought that was just a rumor," Pikachu said.

"No, it's a proven fact that Dittos are virtually indestructible and immune to aging due to their unique cellular makeup," Leo said, who knew all about the topic since, as an immortality seeker, he had naturally done research on Dittos to see how they managed to achieve eternal life in hopes of finding a way to apply it to himself. (The experiments which resulted from that research failed to make him live forever, but turned his skin a shocking shade of pink for about a month.) "However, to call them out-and-out _immortal_ is a bit of an overstatement. In their natural state, they can't be affected by most physical or energy attacks, but are extremely susceptible to extreme chemical changes. However, they have the capability to regenerate if enough of their cells survive, so the most surefire way to kill them is with an attack strong enough to shatter molecular bonds and completely vaporize them, which the average Pokemon does not have access to. Additionally, when they take on the form of a Pokemon, they share that Pokemon's strengths and weaknesses, so using attacks of the right type can still beat them. All that said, while it's cussedly difficult to _kill_ a Ditto, it's still possible to knock one out if you hit it hard enough in the right form."

"So basically, you're saying I just need to keep punching him until he stops moving," Ash said, having only understood a fraction of Leo's scientific explanation.

"Pretty much, yeah," Leo said.

Ash grinned and cracked his knuckles. "Sounds good to me."

"Same here," Yamiri said, an evil grin on his face that didn't look right on a holy mon.

"Be careful not to hit him too hard, though," Sasha warned them. "This place is rather unstable. If we use our full power, there's a chance we'll bring the building down on us."

"Fighting with a handicap? It'll be tricky, but I can handle that," said Ash.

"Wait, so I'm _not_ immortal?!" the Ditto said, looking understandably startled to be hearing this for the first time. "Shit. I did not see that coming."

"Does this mean you are or are not going to tell us your evil plan?" Pikachu asked, getting rather exasperated with all the delays and changes in topic.

"Huh? Oh…well…eh, I guess it can't hurt. I mean, I'm gonna kill you when I'm done anyway, so it's not like it'll make a difference…unless you beat me." He frowned. "Hmm…maybe this isn't such a good idea…"

"Oh, just make up your mind already!" Ash said, losing his patience as well.

"We'd like to have at least some idea of why we're fighting you," Sasha said.

The Ditto deliberated a little longer. "Well, narrative convention states that by revealing my plan, you'll surely find some way to ruin it, no matter how confident I am in thinking that you can't stop me. On the other appendage, we Ditto _do_ have a flair for the dramatic. Kind of comes with being shapeshifters, and therefore natural actors…oh hell, why not. It gets a little lonely up here by myself and I might as well tell _someone_ about it now that I actually have company. It all began many years ago-"

"Wait, are you going to go off on a long tangent and tell us your entire life history?" Pikachu asked. "We wanted to know what the heck it was you were trying to do here, but we don't care _that_ much about you as a person or your reasons for doing whatever."

"By the way, I don't think we ever caught your name," Ash said.

"Nor will you, I keep it private for personal reasons," the Ditto said. "My history, on the other hand, I'm willing to share. It provides context for my plot and ambitions."

Pikachu sighed. "Oh, fine…"

"But don't take too long!" Yamiri threatened. "I've held back my anger at what you've done to Master Yon and the others for what feels like far too long now, I don't think I'll be able to control it for much longer!"

"I'll take that into consideration," the Ditto said. "Now. It all starts many years ago…"

"Oh boy, I always love a good expository backstory," Leo said excitedly as he settled down to listen. Tiny sucked his pacifier.

"As I'm sure most of you know, Dittos are able to transform into any Pokemon—and indeed, several other things as well—due to our unique cellular structure, which allows us to rearrange our entire body to exactly mimic the genetic code of whatever we're copying," the Ditto began. "However, unlike most of my kind, I was born with a rare disorder that prevented me from altering my cells unless I could manually acquire a genetic sample from whatever it was that I was trying to turn into, so that I could 'teach' my body to change into that Pokemon. Unfortunately, consuming hair, skin cells, and nail clippings alone never gave me enough of a good DNA sample for a perfect replication, causing all my transformations to look like rather freakish caricatures of regular Pokemon, which is quite embarrassing in a species that prides itself on perfect mimicry and transformation. Thinking that I might be able to transform better if I got bigger genetic samples from the subject I was trying to turn into, I acquired larger amounts of DNA, allowing me to fine-tune my shapeshifts. Unfortunately, those samples _still_ weren't enough, so I finally got fed up and completely consumed a Pokemon in its entirety to see if _that_ would give me enough genetic code. It worked! It also got me kicked out of the community, but I was already an outcast due to my birth defect so I didn't care that much. I vowed I would become the greatest shapeshifter of all, greater than all the other Dittos, and would return after gaining the ability to turn into every Pokemon known to mon to show all the others up, no matter how many people I had to eat to get it!"

They gave him looks of disgust and bewilderment. "You turn into other Pokemon by _eating_ them?!" cried Ash.

"You want to become the world's greatest shapeshifter by eating as many Pokemon as you can?! That's…an interesting ambition…" Pikachu said.

"Hmm, I can see how that would work," said Sasha, who was less perturbed by the Ditto's carnivorous and cannibalistic tendencies than the others, since she hunted and killed most of her meals as well.

"What does any of that have to do with your presence here?" Yamiri demanded.

"I'm getting to that," the Ditto said. "While my goal sounds simple on paper, it's not as easy as it looks. To turn into a Pokemon, I'd have to hunt down and eat a specimen of a particular species…and if I wanted to be the best shapeshifter in the world, I'd need to be sure that the Pokemon I ate was a particularly powerful representative of their kind, meaning they wouldn't allow themselves to be consumed without a fight. So far I've been able to acquire the genes to turn completely into a few dozen different—and powerful—Pokemon, but at the rate I'm going it'll be decades before I manage to get enough DNA to turn into every kind of Pokemon there is. And then there's the ultra-rare Pokemon like legendaries to consider! How'm I supposed to eat guys like them to turn into them? Legendaries and gods are so complicated to replicate even for the expert Dittos that someone with a handicap like me can't even begin to transform into one of them based on natural ability alone. I realized I needed some kind of edge to get myself stronger, rarer Pokemon to transform into faster. So, like most people in a predicament like mine would do, I decided to turn to the occult."

"Sounds reasonable," Leo said. The others stared at him. "What? It does."

The Ditto continued his story. "I discovered that Ghost Pokemon tended to form when strong Pokemon who weren't quite ready to pass over died, and not only that, but something in their ectoplasmic makeup retained a bit of their genetic code from life…not much, but a good enough substitute to allow me to transform into the Pokemon they used to be! The only problem was how was I supposed to get that code? It's—relatively—easy to eat living Pokemon, but Ghosts? My stomach isn't built for their kind of matter!

"And then I learned of the legend of Yamatorochi, a great evil monster notable for his ability to consume Ghosts. He had been dead for almost a hundred years, but I figured that since his bell was still around, I could use the knowledge of alchemy and dark magic I'd gleaned to take control of whatever lingering power remained in his artifact and use it to devour Ghosts so that I could obtain the form they had in life. I used one of my collected transformations to circumvent the seals the Arcean Order put on this place and awakened the slumbering energy within the bell. With its power in my appendages, I used it to begin abducting Ghosts from Twilight's Edge, using the knowledge the bell granted me to select them based on the power and rarity of whatever Pokemon they had been before they died."

Yamiri gasped. "So _that's_ the criteria you've been using to choose your prey! Yon and I drove ourselves crazy trying to figure it out!"

"Once I had the Ghosts in my possession, I bound them to this temple with the bell's magic and imprisoned them within a keystone to focus their power and increase the amount of ethereal DNA I could extract from them," the Ditto went on. "The spell you destroyed downstairs was feeding the encoded energy from those combined souls into that mandala over there, where I would use another artifact, the Crimson Star of Delcattanooga, to transcribe that energy into my own genetic structure, rewriting my cells so that I would have one hundred and eight new Pokemon in my gallery of transformations! And once those transformations were mine, I would go back to the land I was exiled from, enter the upcoming shapeshifting contest, and wow the judges with the power of my new forms! And once I won, I'd rub it in the faces of my stuck-up cousins Duplica and Mini-Ditt! Then they'd regret ever calling me names or telling me that whatever I transformed into had shades of Uncanny Valley! Mwahahahahaha!"

They stared at him for a very long time. "What," Pikachu said flatly.

"Wait. So…let me get this straight. You used an ancient evil to kidnap one hundred and eight Ghosts from their homes and families, condemning them to horrific imprisonment and true death, all so that you could use them to give yourself a few new transformations that you could use to beat your cousins in a contest?!" Ash asked incredulously.

"Mmm…pretty much, yeah," the Ditto said.

"That's…I do not know if that makes you the evilest or least ambitious villain I have ever met," a stunned Yamiri said.

"Either way, it's still extremely petty," Leo said. "Then again, evil usually is."

"By destroying the mandala downstairs and breaking my Spiritomb, you've delayed but not completely ruined my plans," the Ditto said. "After I kill you and consume your DNA, I'll use your blood to redraw the mandala and create a new keystone from your bones, within which I shall re-imprison the captive Ghosts drifting about the temple and infuse their ethereal genomes into myself so that I can become as they were in life!"

"Ew," said Leo, rather grossed out by the Ditto's intentions.

"There's one problem with that," Sasha said.

"What's that?" the Ditto asked.

"The 'killing us' part," Ash said.

"We've taken down tougher and nastier punks than you. Even if you are using the power of Yamatorochi, we have magic of our own," Pikachu said, raising his sword.

"Yeah! You're messing with the wrong Pokemon, mon! Let's take this fool to the curb, mah homies!" Leo said.

"Leo…" Sasha said.

Leo sighed. "Right, right, not supposed to talk like that anymore. Sorry."

"We do not care how many transformations you are capable of, we will defeat you all the same!" Yamiri said, swinging his mace through the air.

The Ditto smirked as he threw off his cape. "Let's see if you still feel the same way after I put you on ICE!" His body shimmered, his gelatinous mass expanding, reshaping, and hardening to take on the form of a rather large vaguely spherical Pokemon with two horns, blue eyes, big teeth, and an icy shell that looked sort of like a soccer ball. The Ditto-turned-Glalie rose into the air, unleashing a Blizzard that buffeted the others back and covered the room in layers of frost and snow.

"Put us on ice. Oh, wow, that is so original," Leo said sarcastically. "I bet all the Ice-types use that one. Heck, I think I might have too at some point after I learned Ice Beam."

"The major limitation with Transform is that the Pokemon you turn into has all the weaknesses of a real member of that species," Pikachu said. "In this instance, that means that most of Ash's attacks should be strong enough to shatter his ice armor if he can get a few good hits in."

Ash smirked. "Heh, no problem! If I could take out an ice sorceress like Bellum, I doubt a run-of-the-mill Glalie will give me much trouble!"

The Glalie frowned. "An ice sorceress, huh? Could she do _this_?" He glowed light blue and used Sheer Cold, unleashing a tremendous wave of ice that froze everything in its path as it rushed forward to engulf the heroes.

"Actually, yeah, she could," Ash said.

"If that thing hits us, we're done for!" Pikachu cried.

"Actually, I should be fine, I've survived colder winters back home," Sasha said. "I promise to avenge your deaths."

"So will I. The cold doesn't really bother me much, ever since I died near the North Pole," Yamiri said.

Pikachu sweatdropped. "Gee, thanks…"

"No worries," Leo said, rummaging in his shell. "I have just the thing to save us! Behold…" He pulled out a large space heater. "The ThermoNuke 6000!"

"Hey, I remember that thing," said Ash.

"Didn't that Misdreavus destroy it?" Pikachu asked.

"No, you're thinking of the ThermoNuke _5_000. This is the newest version. I got it after the old one was destroyed," Leo explained. "This thing saved us the last time someone tried to freeze us to death, and it'll save us now, too!"

"It had better, because that ice wave's almost on us!" Ash said anxiously.

Yamiri frowned. "Speaking of which, why hasn't it hit us already? It should have overtaken us several seconds ago."

"Talking is a free action," Sasha said.

Yamiri stared at her blankly. "…What?"

"You're better off not knowing," Sasha said. Tiny sucked his pacifier in agreement.

Leo switched on the heater and pointed it in the direction of the ice wave rushing towards them. The radiator coils hummed to life and emitted a blast of pure, raw heat twice as strong as the heat blasts the late ThermoNuke 5000 had been capable of producing at the ice. The Sheer Cold attack was frozen—ha!—in its tracks and melted instantly as the heat wave smashed through it. The startled Glalie wasn't safe from its effects either, before he could get out of the way it washed over him, causing him to cry in agony as it scorched his flesh and caused some of his ice armor to melt. "GYAAAAARGH!"

"Nice going! Wait, why're you turning it off?! It's doing great!" Pikachu said in surprise as Leo turned off the ThermoNuke and put it away.

The Squirtle shook his head. "I can only run it for a few seconds at maximum power without it potentially overheating and exploding, killing us all and tearing open a giant hole in the ozone layer."

Pikachu stared at him incredulously. "…Why would you buy something so dangerous? Scratch that, who would _make_ something so dangerous?!"

"Weeeellllllll…I may have made a _few_ modifications of my own to make it more powerful," Leo admitted.

Pikachu sweatdropped. "Why am I not surprised?"

"We should still be able to beat him even without that machine," Yamiri said. "His armor's only about half as thick now, and that heat blast sapped a lot of his power."

"Grr…you took _some_, but not all!" the Glalie growled angrily as he recovered. He spun around, firing Ice Beams at the floor to refreeze everything Leo melted, then dropped down and whirled towards them with Gyro Ball, using the slick ice to move faster and more unpredictably than usual.

"Look out!" Ash cried. Everyone quickly scattered out of the way before the Glalie could smash into them, only to slip on the floor and start sliding all over the place, bumping into the frozen furniture and each other. "Wh-whoa!"

"I got this!" Leo cried, retracting into his shell and using Rapid Spin to mimic the Glalie's course of attack, using his own experience at moving about on slick surfaces to charge at the Face Pokemon in hopes of knocking it out of its attack…

Only to be sent flying when the much larger and heavier Glalie smashed into him. "Okay, maybe noooooot!" he wailed.

Ash managed to arrest his slide by jumping on one of the frozen pieces of furniture. He formed an Aura Sphere and hurled it at the Glalie. Much to his dismay, the energy ball rebounded off the Glalie's spinning form and flew right back at him. "Whoa!" He ducked quickly before it could take his head off.

Pikachu drove his sword into the ice to anchor himself and fired Thunderbolts at the Glalie. Much to his annoyance, the bolts were deflected by the spinning. "Why am I not surprised? How does that even work, anyway?"

Sasha, used to moving on frozen terrain, gained her footing faster than the others and charged towards the Glalie using Take Down, throwing all her weight at the Face Pokemon. Unfortunately, the Glalie weighed about four hundred and sixty more pounds than her, so she just got flung painfully away. "Unh!"

Father Yamiri, thanks to his hovering ability, didn't have to worry about the ice at all, and decided to attack from a different angle. He dropped down onto the monster from above, landing on top of his head and wrapping his legs around the Glalie's horns. "Take this, evildoer!" He wrenched one of the jewels out of his body, concentrated energy into it, and smashed it down between the Glalie's eyes, using Power Gem.

There was a small explosion that knocked the Glalie off its axis and nearly flung Yamiri off, the Face Pokemon's eyes clenched shut in pain as cracks radiated from where the gem had hit him. "Aaaahh! You-!"

"This is for Master Yon!" Yamiri roared, swinging his mace down repeatedly and smashing the Glalie between the eyes again and again, causing the cracks to spread out.

"Gah! Get off of me!" the Glalie cried, flying wildly about and slamming Yamiri into the walls and ceiling in an attempt to get him off. The Ghostly priests refused to be shaken, however, and kept bashing his foe in its weak spot with all the strength in his limbs. It brought back quite a few memories of his days as a mercenary, actually. "Everyone! Strike him now while I'm keeping him distracted!" he shouted to the others.

His teammates obliged, firing Bubbles, Aura Spheres, Thunderbolts, Hidden Powers, and Razor Winds at the Glalie. Unfortunately, the Glalie briefly used Gyro Ball again, deflecting the attacks and almost flinging Yamiri off. "You'll have to do more than that to take me down!" the Ice-type taunted.

"Then maybe that's what we'll do," Ash said, getting an idea. "Leo, would you care to try out that combo move we've been working on?"

"The one where you basically set me on fire and throw me at an enemy?" Leo asked.

"Yes," Ash said.

Leo's face lit up. "Would I! What do you need me to do?"

"Just get in your shell," Ash said, paws burning with Aura. "I'll handle the rest." Leo eagerly complied. Ash picked up Leo's shell with a little effort—the Squirtle still needed to lose a lot of weight!—and concentrated, focusing his Aura to infuse it in Leo's shell. He grunted as Leo burst into blue flames, draining some of Ash's strength in the process. With a cry, Ash hurled the burning shell at the Glalie with all his strength, sending it flying through the air like a whirling flaming overweight Frisbee.

Seeing what was coming, Yamiri wisely hopped off of his target. The Glalie automatically used Gyro Ball to try and deflect the attack…and was naturally surprised when Leo smashed him hard enough to not only knock him out of his spin but also shatter his armor, exposing his black rocky core in the process. "Graaahhhh!"

Leo rebounded off the Glalie, skidded off the ice, and came to a stop against some of the furniture. The blue flames surrounding his form flickered then died down. He popped out of his shell, looking more than a little hyper from the energy infusion. "Whoo!" he cried. "That was awesome! Do it again!" Tiny sucked his pacifier.

"Ungh…uhhh…huh?" The stunned Glalie's eyes widened in horror when he saw Ash's blue blazing fist shooting towards him. "Oh cra-"

Ash's punch hit him nearly hard enough to smash his face in and sent him flying across the room, where he was intercepted by Pikachu, who knocked him away with a swing of his sword. He then encountered Sasha, who bashed him away with a flick of her tail blade. Finally, he sailed straight towards Yamiri, who bashed him so hard with his mace that he smashed into a wall and splattered into pink goo, reverting to his true form.

However, before the heroes could think they had won, the pile of goo quivered and piled back up on top of itself, growing taller and leaner. White fur covered the pink form, with a teardrop-shaped tuft of red fur sprouting on the head. A mouth with two stubby triangular visible teeth in each jaw gaped open. Brown rings formed around the eyes and stripes of the same color appeared around its mouth and back. The arms elongated and ended in two sharp claws. A tuft-like tail grew out over a patch of red skin on its butt. The fully Transformed Vigoroth howled and beat on his chest.

Ash smirked. "That supposed to intimidate us? You're still weak to my attacks!"

"He's immune to a number of mine, unfortunately, due to being a Normal-type," Yamiri said. "It's a good thing I have other moves in my arsenal. And a nice big mace."

"Let's make a monkey out of him!" Leo joked.

"Is he a monkey or a sloth?" Sasha asked.

"…That's a good question, actually," Leo said.

The Vigoroth yelled and stamped around, blue soundwaves coming out of his mouth and preventing them from sleeping as he used Uproar. Not that any of them really wanted to sleep to begin with, except maybe Tiny, who was a little tired. Seeing that they were not particularly impressed by how loud he could yell, the Vigoroth lunged forward, madly swinging Fury Swipes at everyone, with no fixed target in mind, true to typical Vigoroth berserker tactics (or lack thereof). Ash sprouted Metal Claws to block any strikes aimed at him, and Pikachu brought his sword up in a great swing that sliced off the Vigoroth's claws. The Wild Monkey looked at his hands in alarm…then shrugged and sprouted new claws. "Hey, Vigoroth can't do that!" Pikachu protested.

"Dittos pretending to be Vigoroths apparently can," Sasha said, eyes glowing briefly.

Screeching loudly, the Vigoroth jumped onto a nearby table and started flinging beakers, flasks, and other rather volatile alchemical apparatuses at them. Ash, Pikachu, Leo, and Tiny fended off the projectiles with Aura Spheres, Vacuum Cuts, Bubbles, and Hidden Powers, while Sasha dashed around the side and Yamiri vanished into a shadow. Running out of objects to throw at them, the Vigoroth bent down and picked up an entire bench, raising it over his head…

Only for said bench to be brought down on him when Sasha cut the table's legs out from under him with Night Slash, causing him to lose his balance and drop the bench on his head. He wobbled about, dazed, allowing Yamiri to emerge from his shadow and strike him with his mace from behind, flinging him forward and causing him to hit the ground with his face. Leo fired an Ice Beam, freezing him solid before he could get up. "Hit him hard!" the Squirtle cried.

Pikachu dashed forward as an electrical nimbus formed around him, smashing into the ice mass with Volt Tackle and sending it flying. Ash rose into the air above it and smashed his Aura-charged paws down into it with a two-fisted overhead chop, shattering the ice and sending the Vigoroth tumbling towards the ground…

Where Yamiri was waiting, who threw up a Power Gem to meet the falling monkey/sloth thing. The explosion from the gemstone sent the Vigoroth flying back up just in time for Ash's fist to slam into his gut, knocking the breath (and quite a lot of saliva) out of him. He smashed into the ground hard enough to crater it, looking down for the count. Ash smirked as he landed…

And groaned as the Vigoroth stood back up a moment later, the glowing aftereffect of Endure lingering a moment on his fur. The sloth/monkey/weasel/gerbil/thing howled and raised his claws for another attack…

When Sasha's Future Sight materialized behind him and smashed him back into the ground, reducing him to a pile of pink slime. "How do you manage to work your Future Sight so it always shows up just in the nick of time?" Pikachu marveled.

"Lots of practice," Sasha said.

The slime quivered and started to pull back into itself. "Heads up, we aren't finished yet!" said Ash.

Leo snorted. "Well, I should think not! A good shapeshifter boss fight should have a minimum of no less than three or four different forms and a maximum of about ten."

"I really hope it's more the former than the latter," Pikachu said.

"On the other hand, if it is the latter, then I can continue taking my frustration at losing Master Yon out of him for some time to come," Yamiri said. The others stared at him. He flushed. "Sorry…this is my first real fight in a long time. It's bringing back memories from my mercenary days."

"I thought you didn't like those memories," Ash said.

"I don't, but they're rather exhilarating all the same," Yamiri confessed.

The blob spread two protrusions of slime out to the sides as it rose into the air, turning into long purple wings. A gray oval body formed between them, with a long tail ending in a triangular tip. Legs ending in twin talons grew from its lower body. A long reptilian head with serrated teeth filling its jaws stretched out from its face, with two horns growing from the back of its head. The Ditto had achieved its next form: an Aerodactyl. They braced themselves as the prehistoric Pokemon screeched loudly…then turned and flew out through one of the holes in the wall. "Hey, where's he going?" Leo complained.

"He's going to attack us from a distance!" Sasha realized.

"A pretty good strategy, considering how much of a beating we've been giving him so far," Pikachu said grudgingly.

"Then it's a good thing we have ranged attacks of our own," Ash said as the Aerodactyl turned about several meters away from the belfry so it was facing them again. The ancient monster opened its jaws, gathering power, and fired a Hyper Beam at them. They quickly jumped to the sides as the beam arced across the floor they had been standing on, leaving a deep scar in the ground and smashing up lots of furniture and alchemical equipment. Pikachu fired a Thunderbolt in retaliation, but the Aerodactyl used Agility to increase its already excellent air maneuverability and glide out of the way. The beast started circling the belfry, hurling AncientPower energy balls through the holes in the walls and ceiling, forcing the team to dash all over the place to dodge the attacks.

"Yeah, too bad he's too fast and keeping up too steady a bombardment for us to nail him!" Pikachu griped as he danced here and there to avoid the energy balls.

"Then we need to be quicker on the draw," Leo suggested. "Since his bombing run isn't working so well, eventually he'll try the more direct method of Hyper Beam again. When that happens, we just need to blast him before he fires!"

"Good idea," Yamiri said. "And to increase our chances of hitting him, only one of us should shoot straight towards him, while the others aim around him, so that if he dodges one attack…"

"He flies right into another one!" Ash finished. "Sounds good to me."

Soon enough the chance they were waiting for arrived. Tired of flying in circles, the Aerodactyl hovered in place in front of one of the holes, golden energy gathering in his mouth as he charged up a Hyper Beam. "NOW!" Pikachu shouted, firing a Thunderbolt directly at the living fossil. The others fired Flash Cannon, Hidden Power, Water Gun, Psycho Cut, and Dark Pulse. Still charging up his attack, the Aerodactyl instinctively glided out of the way of the Thunderbolt…and was startled when he flew right into Yamiri's Dark Pulse, crying out in pain as the Dark blast knocked him out of the sky.

"Yatta! Nice shot, Father!" Leo said.

"I try," Yamiri chuckled.

They didn't have long to celebrate, however, because the Aerodactyl fired the Hyper Beam even as it plummeted. The shot went wild, slicing through the side of the temple and causing the whole building to shake ominously as a good portion of it caved in on itself and tumbled to the ground in pieces. "That was close," Ash commented as the rumbling mercifully ceased and it became clear the roof was not going to collapse on them (yet). "I'm not sure it would be a good idea to repeat that, if he misses like that again the whole building might come down around our ears."

"I don't think he'll try that again, now that he knows that we know a way to stop his Hyper Beam," Pikachu said as the Aerodactyl rose back into view. "He's sure to try something else now!"

He was right. Yellow-orange energy surrounded the Aerodactyl's body, followed by a purple energy sphere as the winged reptile dove towards them with Giga Impact. They jumped to the sides as the Aerodactyl came screaming past, his claws scraping against the floor and the razor-sharp tips of his wings coming close to nicking off one of Ash's ears. Sasha gracefully landed on her feet from her dodge and fired Razor Wind blades after the Aerodactyl, but he rose up and out of range of her attack, vanishing from view.

As they got back to their feet, everyone looked around frantically, wondering where the next attack would come from. "Where is he?" Pikachu asked.

Ash closed his eyes and checked the area with Aura-sight. "He's right above us," he said. "He isn't doing anything though, just…hovering in place."

"Giga Impact is a very powerful attack, but after using it a Pokemon needs a few moments to regain its energy for another attempt," Leo said knowledgeably.

"Which gives us time to formulate a strategy," Pikachu said. "Any ideas?"

"I could try standing my ground and punching him right as he's coming towards me," Ash suggested. "Knock him right out of that energy shell."

Pikachu shook his head. "Too risky. Even with your Aura reflexes, if you get the timing wrong your entire upper body could be splattered all over the room."

"Well, we can't exactly attack him as he's swooping down, that shell will repel most of our attacks," Leo said.

"And shooting him through the roof will probably just get us killed," Sasha said.

Leo nodded in agreement. "Rocks fall, everyone dies."

"I have an idea," Yamiri said. "Unlike the rest of you, I can travel through the air like him, as well as through shadow. The next time he uses Giga Impact and goes into cooldown, I'll go up there, grab him, and do…something."

"Like what?" Pikachu asked.

"I'll figure it out when I get there," Yamiri said.

"Good strategy," Ash, who used similar improvisational tactics all the time, approved.

"Here he comes," Sasha commented as the Aerodactyl reappeared with a piercing shriek. "Prepare yourselves!"

Rather than use Giga Impact right away, the Aerodactyl chose to bombard them with AncientPower again. That worked about as well as the last time, but at least it kept them on their toes. Eventually he tried rushing them again—which also worked about as well as the last time—and gave Yamiri the opportunity he'd been waiting for once the lizard-bird flew out of sight. "All right, here I go!" he said, phasing out.

"I wish I could do that trick," Leo complained.

"You might need to be dead to pull it off," Pikachu said.

"Or a ninja," Leo said. "Which do you think I'd be better off as?" Pikachu sweatdropped.

Yamiri reappeared above the tower, where he could see the Aerodactyl hovering in place over the roof, catching his breath. With a battle cry, he lunged at the Fossil Pokemon's back, wrapping his legs around his neck and hammering him in the head repeatedly with his mace. "This is for Master Yon, you fiend!"

"You said that already!" the Aerodactyl cried in alarm, throwing his head about and trying to shake him off.

"I can dedicate as many of my attacks to him as I want!" Yamiri retorted, bringing his mace down again and again.

The Aerodactyl growled and used Iron Head, temporarily hardening his already thick skull and causing Yamiri's next blow to glance off, denting some of the spikes and nearly knocking the priest off. "Get off me!" the Aerodactyl snarled, using Agility to fly around erratically at high speeds, twirling around to try and shake Yamiri off.

"Not until you have departed from this world!" Yamiri snarled, swinging at the Aerodactyl's head again and missing due to the reptile's sudden change in trajectory.

"I can't! I'm immortal!" the Aerodactyl snarled. "Well, semi-immortal, anyway."

"Then I guess I won't be getting off anytime soon!" Seeing that his main weapon wasn't working, and pretty sure that, despite his bravado, he couldn't hold on much longer, Yamiri decided to try a different tactic. "Tell me, what do you see when you look at this?" he asked, taking out a prayer slip and holding it over the Aerodactyl's eyes.

The living fossil screamed in agony as the slip flashed, blinding him. "Gah! My eyes!" He squeezed his eyes shut in pain, tears and pink slime dripping from them.

"You have blinded yourself to the terrible consequences of your actions…and so the light of truth blinds you in turn!" Yamiri said. He grabbed the Aerodactyl by the horns. "And now it is time you faced judgment!" He jerked the reptile's head downwards, causing the rest of the avian's body to reflexively follow, gliding along a new course.

"Wait, what are you doing?!" the Aerodactyl cried, unable to see where they were flying.

"Giving you a crash course in responsibility! When you commit evil deeds, you need to pay up for them sooner or later…and that payment comes now!" Yamiri steered the Aerodactyl downwards, setting him on a Beedrillline for one of the abandoned buildings clustered around the old temple.

Getting an idea of what Yamiri was up to, the Aerodactyl frantically flapped his wings to try and arrest his descent and change course, but the Sableye would have none of that. Claws burning with dark purple energy, Yamiri slashed at the Aerodactyl's wings with Shadow Claw, tearing large holes in their membranes and reducing his flight capability to zero. The Fossil plummeted, screaming as he frantically tried to regenerate his wings, but it was too late. Yamiri jumped off the avian's back just before he crashed through the wall of one of the abandoned buildings, causing the decrepit structure—this one dilapidated from age, not architectural style—to cave in and bury him alive.

Somehow, Yamiri didn't think that would be enough to put him down for good. And he was correct, already he could see motes of pink slime wriggle out of the rubble and start converging on each other. The priest quickly returned to the rest of the team as the Ditto began to take on a new form. "That was some nice wrangling!" Pikachu commented as Yamiri reentered the belfry.

"I wish I could have done something like that! It was pretty badass!" Leo agreed.

"I bet I could have done that too…" Ash said. Nobody paid attention to him.

"Badass it may have been, but it doesn't seem to have significantly weakened him. He's already taken a new form and is coming back towards us!" Yamiri warned.

Sasha glanced up as the Ditto's Transformed figure flew through one of the holes in the wall. "And here he is now."

"Or she," Leo said with a frown. "Isn't that species supposed to be all-female?"

The altered Ditto, now a four-foot-tall bee Pokemon with a yellow and black-striped skirt-shaped abdomen with honeycomb cells on the underside, black skinny arms with orange claws, small insect wings sprouting from the shoulders, a nearly spherical yellow upper body and black waist, and an orange face with red eyes, oversized protruding mandibles, a red gem on the forehead, and yellow and black horns shrugged. "Gender doesn't really mean anything to a Ditto. We're androgynous hermaphrodites. But since this body is female, I guess you could call me a womon…and now you shall feel the fury of a womon scorned!" The Vespiquen's eyes glowed red and a swarm of mini-Combee buzzed out from beneath her skirt, firing multicolored beams of light at the group.

"Wait, did she just give birth? Gross!" Leo cried as they evaded the Attack Order.

"I'm more disturbed that 'she' is also a 'he' and apparently was always both," said Sasha.

Pikachu swung his sword, unleashing a Vacuum-Cut at the Vespiquen. Her eyes glowed red as she used Defense Order, and the Combee rearranged themselves to form an interlocked honeycomb shield which the energy wave broke harmlessly against. "No problem, I'll take that out!" Ash said, lunging forward as he charged up a Brick Break.

"Ash, wait, that won't work, she's-" Pikachu started as Ash punched the barrier. Much to his surprise, the blow glanced off the shield, bruising his knuckles. "Strong against Fighting-type attacks."

Ash sweatdropped as the Combee started charging up energy. "Why didn't you tell me that earlier?!" He cried out in pain as he got blasted away by Attack Order.

"I'll attack her from behind-" Yamiri started.

"No need, Father, I've got this!" Leo said, pulling a spray can out of his shell. "I thought something like this might happen, so I prepared in advance by getting some insecticide! Eat chemical death, you stupid Bugs! This is for all those horrible stings I got when I was younger! Though since I was trying to steal honey from one of your hives, I suppose I had it coming…" He sprayed a cloud of green gas at the Combee. They started coughing, choked, and then fell to the ground, eyes turned into large Xs.

The Vespiquen gasped. "No! My babies!"

Leo blanched. "Oh crap…did I just commit infanticide?!"

"Now is not the time to debate the ethicality of killing creatures created as attacks and whether they count as living things or not," Pikachu said. "Especially since they were created by a Ditto using parts of itself."

He was right; even as they watched the dead Combee dissolved into slime and flowed back into the Vespiquen. "Oh, good, that's a load off my conscience," Leo said in relief.

"Now that we know how to penetrate her defenses, it's time to finish her off!" Father Yamiri said, pulling out another Power Gem and throwing it at the insect.

The Vespiquen instinctively used Defense Order again, but Leo brought her shield crumbling down with another spray of insecticide, allowing the charged jewel to sail right into her torso and explode, smashing her into the wall. "Aaaaahhhh!"

"Nice shot!" Ash said.

"How many of those gems do you have, anyway?" Sasha wondered.

"And how do you make them?" Leo asked. "Because if you could generate tons of those without them blowing up, we could make a fortune!"

"I'd rather not talk about where I get them from…" Yamiri said evasively.

The Vespiquen's eyes glowed again, and more Combee swarmed out from under her skirt. "Watch out, I think she's going to use Heal Order!" Pikachu warned them.

"Oh no she's not!" Leo said, killing this latest swarm with some more insecticide. The Beehive Pokemon shrieked in fury.

"What are you doing with that stuff, anyway?" Ash asked. "I thought you only had robot insecticide. You know, for robot insects."

Leo gave him an incredulous look. "Where did you get that idea? Of course I have spray for both kinds! I'm packed with countermeasures to use against quite a few varieties of Pokemon! Fire extinguishers for Fire-types, lightning rods for Electric types, lighters for Grass-types, antidotes for Poison-types, and so on. You can never be too careful, right?"

Pikachu frowned. "Really? And what would you have done if we happened to get a Bug-type on the team? You couldn't use that spray around one, it could hurt them too."

Leo shrugged. "Then it's a good thing we don't have any Bug-type teammates, isn't it?"

Shaking with rage and exhaustion the Vespiquen managed to rise back up. "You…you…will pay for killing my children!"

"They weren't your children, they were part of yourself," Sasha pointed out.

"Shut up!" the Vespiquen snarled, lunging at Leo.

"Gah!" Leo reflexively sprayed her with some more insecticide, causing her to rear back, hissing in pain and rubbing her eyes. While she was stunned, Pikachu hit her with Thunderbolt, Yamiri fired Dark Pulse, and Ash blasted her with Flash Cannon, slamming her into a wall and reducing her to slime once again. "Phew…thanks for the save, guys."

"No problem," said Ash.

"Look out, she…he…whatever isn't done yet!" Yamiri cried as the slime started pulling itself together again.

Pikachu sighed in exasperation. "Oh come on! How many more times do we have to put this guy down?!"

"As many times as it takes," Ash said.

The slime took on the form of a discus, which solidified into a turquoise metal mass. Four large turquoise insectoid metal legs ending in three sharp points each emerged from its sides. A pair of holes opened between two of the legs on the side of the discus, and glowing red eyes appeared. A large metallic cross formed between them, resembling metal eyes and a mustache. The underside of the discus unhinged, revealing a very large lower jaw. "I shall crush you beneath the might of my iron legs!" the Metagross roared.

"You might want to reconsider, considering that those iron legs are too heavy for the ground you're standing on," Ash said.

The Metagross blinked and glanced down. "What? Oh." The floor he was standing on was beginning to crack and creak ominously. "Yes, I suppose this form is a bit too massive for this weakened structure to support. No matter!" He folded his legs against his body and rose into the air. "I can support myself using the power of my intellect!"

"Why is he talking different?" Pikachu wondered.

"Maybe it's because he has four brains now?" Leo suggested. "Or because he prides himself on being an actor and mimic so behaves like whatever he turns into would?"

"That would explain his reaction to our killing his 'children,'" Sasha agreed.

"This could be a bit of a problem…since he's a Steel type, he won't be weak to any of our usual attacks," Yamiri commented.

"Then we'll just hit him until he stops fighting back!" Ash said vigorously. "Works for most of our opponents."

"You will not even be able to hit me with your feeble attacks!" the Metagross boasted, cross glowing blue. "Behold!"

Ash, Pikachu, Leo, and Tiny were surrounded in blue light and raised into the air. "Oh come on, not this again!" Pikachu protested.

"Didn't we get enough of this treatment back at Mt. Battle?!" Leo complained. Tiny sucked his pacifier in agreement.

"Father, it looks like it's up to us to save them," Sasha said. "Since Metagross can't learn Miracle Eye, his Psychic powers have no effect on us!"

"Too bad our Dark moves won't be especially effective against him," Yamiri lamented. "Still, it's better than nothing!" He charged up a Dark Pulse. Using Me First, Sasha fired one of her own just before he did. The Pulses streaked towards the Metagross…

Who laughed and telekinetically maneuvered Ash and Leo into the way of the attacks, forcing them to take the hit! "AAAHHH!" they cried in pain as darkness struck them.

Yamiri and Sasha gasped. "No!"

The Metagross laughed again. "That's right; you may want to think twice about attacking me! I can use your friends as shields to ensure that I never come to harm!"

Yamiri frowned. "Is that so? Let's see if you can defend from an attack like this!" He sank into the floor.

"Hey, where'd he go?" Ash asked.

"I don't suppose he went to get help?" Leo suggested.

Yamiri emerged right underneath the Metagross, raising his mace to strike—

Only to find himself facing Tiny, whom the Metagross had immediately positioned to intercept him. Yamiri froze in his tracks, alarmed that he had nearly hit a child. "You are so predictable," the Metagross sneered, thrusting one of its limbs forward at Yamiri with Meteor Mash. Yamiri raised his mace to block the attack, metal clashing against metal as he was pushed back by the force of the blow, meteor-shaped particles flying from the point of impact. "I have four brains! I can calculate and predict your every move before you even make it, without even needing to read your minds!"

"Four brains mean nothing if you lack the wisdom to use them properly," Sasha retorted, dashing towards the Metagross. The Metagross snorted and twirled in place with Gyro Ball, knocking Yamiri back. He then psychically flung Pikachu towards her.

"Look out!" the samurai cried.

"Thanks for the warning," she said, hopping to the side before Pikachu could hit her, the mouse slamming face-first into the ground rather painfully as she continued her charge. The Metagross chuckled, picked Pikachu back up, turned him around, and used his psychic hold to force the rodent to draw his sword. Pikachu desperately struggled to break free and sheathe the blade, but the Metagross's mind was stronger than his body, and he had no choice but to turn his weapon on his friend.

"Look out!...Again!" Pikachu called as he was hurled at Sasha from behind, sword pointing forward to impale her.

Yamiri appeared in between them and raised his mace to block the sword strike. "Sasha, keep going! I'll keep him occupied!" the Sableye cried as he fended off the controlled Pikachu's frenzied blows.

"What good will that do? I have three more pawns to deal with her!" the Metagross boasted, maneuvering Ash, Leo, and Tiny into Sasha's path.

"Ack, look out! Ash, why haven't you broken free from this guy already? You were able to escape from psychic holds like this back in Mt. Battle!" Leo said.

Ash gritted his teeth, sweat rolling down his face. "The guys at Mt. Battle didn't have brains as strong as this guy…don't think I'm not trying, though!" He grunted as his body was forced into a fighting pose. "Sasha…be careful…I can't stop myself! I don't want to hurt you!" Tiny sucked his pacifier, rather ambivalent on that topic.

"Don't worry," Sasha promised him as she continued racing towards him. "You won't."

Against his will, Ash threw an Aura Sphere while Leo fired Ice Beam and Tiny launched Hidden Power. Sasha responded by using Take Down to run at a faster pace, then tilted her head and caught the Sphere on her head blade, knocking it away with a flick of her neck and sending it flying into the Ice Beam, causing it to explode and throw up a cloud of smoke that covered her and made it easy for the Hidden Power spheres to miss her. She leaped out of the cloud and soared over her amazed friends, arcing right towards the startled Metagross. She drew back a claw, powering up her Night Slash…

And was surprised when her claws broke against the Metagross's skin as it used Iron Defense to protect itself. "Typical," the Iron Leg Pokemon sneered. "You Pokemon never do think these things through, do you?" One of his legs shot up in a Bullet Punch, nailing Sasha's gut and causing her to slam into the ceiling before falling back to the ground with a painful thud. The Metagross telekinetically ripped a loose stone from the ceiling—causing a few more to fall into the room—and lifted it over Sasha, preparing to smash her underneath it. "Don't worry, soon you won't have to think about anything anymore. I'm sure it'll be a relief, don't you?"

"I think you're referring to yourself!"

The Metagross started. "What-" He howled in agony as Pikachu dashed past him, slicing off one of his limbs in the process. "Graaaaahhh! How…how did you…"

Pikachu smirked and raised his crackling sword as the severed metal leg dissolved into pink slime. "This thing here's a legendary sword. What, did you think your run-of-the-mill metal hide would give much resistance?"

"Nice going!" Ash said.

"Yeah! I'm not entirely sure that was possible, but it was so badass so I really don't care! Do it again!" Leo enthused.

"N-no…this is not possible," the Metagross stammered as it floated away from Pikachu and the recovered Sasha, bringing Ash, Leo and Tiny up in front of him as shields. "You were under my control! How did you break free?!"

"It turns out Master Yon's prayer slips aren't only good for destroying barriers and evil seals and blinding the wicked…they're also a pretty useful way of freeing someone from mind control!" Yamiri said, pointing to a glowing slip he had stuck on Pikachu's chest during their deadlock earlier.

"I love a good multiple-use magical item," Leo said appreciatively.

"You'll like it even more once I use it to set you free," Yamiri said, drawing three slips, charging them up, and flinging them at his trapped comrades.

"Oh no you don't!" The Metagross quickly yanked his captives out of the way so that they couldn't be turned against him…which turned out to be a bad move anyway, because then the slips smacked into his face again. And, as previously established, holy prayer slips did not feel particularly pleasant when used on bad guys. The Metagross hissed in pain as the slips burned at his face, losing his concentration and dropping his hostages. "Ahhh…ahhhhhh…ahhhhhhhhhh…it buuuuuurns!"

"Not so smart after all, huh?" Leo taunted, adjusting his sunglasses.

"Hit him as hard as you can before he recovers! This is it!" Ash yelled, charging up his Aura. The others nodded and concentrated their power as well.

The Metagross groaned and tore the burning slips off his face just in time to be hit from all sides by an Aura Sphere, Ice Beam, Thunder, Night Slash, Dark Pulse, and Hidden Power. The combined force of the attacks destroyed his not-so-impenetrable skin, causing him to violently explode and send pink slime splattering all over the room…and all over the heroes, too.

"Ew!" Leo spat. "I think I got some in my mouth!"

"Tiny, don't eat that!" Ash snapped as Tiny reached for one of the globs. The Larvitar gave him an exasperated look, huffed, crossed his arms, and sucked on his pacifier.

"Too bad I didn't have this thing back in Mt. Battle, or opponents like the Bronzong Bros. wouldn't have been a problem," Pikachu said ruefully, admiring his blade. "On the other hand, then my battle with Zoro wouldn't have been so challenging…hmm. Hard to say which outcome would have been more preferable."

"I don't suppose that finished him, did it?" Yamiri asked doubtfully.

The slime quivered and slowly started pulling itself back together, sloughing off their bodies in the process that made their skin crawl. "No," Sasha said with a sigh. "It didn't."

The slime converged, coalesced, and reformed across the room from the heroes, on the other side of the bell and the mandala holding the red Star Badge. Rather than changing into a new Pokemon, the Ditto assumed his true form, looking rather worn out. "Damn…you guys are a lot more powerful than I thought. I didn't think I'd have _this_ much trouble killing you."

"That's because we're just that awesome!" Leo boasted. "We eat badder villains than you for breakfast, brunch, lunch, dinner, dessert, and a midnight snack!"

"That, and we also have the advantage of numbers," Pikachu said. "Six against one isn't really good odds, even if that one can Transform into just about any Pokemon."

"I guess that Conservation of Ninjutsu thing Leo keeps going on about wasn't in effect. Then it again, it never seems to be," Ash said.

"That law usually only affects villains and their armies of mooks. When there are a lot of heroes working together to fight a single villain, that one villain may give them a tough time but inevitably he gets creamed," Leo said. "Most of the time, anyway. When it's one bad guy against an army of disposable good guys, then the villain generally wins."

"Well, I wouldn't say I'm creamed yet," the Ditto said as his gelatinous form started stretching out again. "This next Transformation will turn everything around!"

"What do you suppose he's going to become this time?" Ash asked. "An Abomasnow? A Garchomp? A Tyranitar? A Jigglypuff?"

"And why aren't we attacking him while he's in mid-Transformation?" Pikachu asked.

"Because it's rude," Leo said. Pikachu stared at him blankly. "What?"

"He's finished," Sasha said. "And…" She frowned. "Is that what I think it is?"

"Certainly not like any I've ever seen, not that I've seen many," said a disturbed Yamiri.

"Talk about Uncanny Valley," Leo said with a grimace.

Ash frowned, rather repulsed. "…The heck? Should I feel insulted or something?"

What had the Ditto become, you ask?

A Lucario.

Sort of.

It looked less like a real Lucario, such as Ash, and more what a Lucario would look like as imagined by someone who had never seen a real one before and only had secondhand accounts from other people to base their impressions on. It was also pink and looked like it was made of slick solidified slime, which was certainly not what real Lucarios were composed of. "I admit it may not look that impressive," the Ditto admitted. "But I haven't been able to obtain any Lucario DNA samples yet, so this is the best approximation I can do. That'll all change once I consume you, Ash!"

Ash huffed. "Yeah, I don't think so! This is one insult too many, Ditto! On behalf of the warrior pride of Lucarios everywhere, I'm going to wipe the floor with you for making such a crude mockery of our species! Leave him to me, guys, I want to take this guy by myself! Besides, I've always wanted to fight another Lucario…"

"No," said Pikachu.

Ash blinked. "Huh? Why not?"

"Because if we all attack him at once we can beat him, duh," Leo said. "While if you fight him by yourself, it'll drag on for several more minutes due to the rules of drama. I'd prefer a quick finish rather than a duel boss at this stage, to be honest."

"He must be really desperate to take on such a half-form as this," Sasha noted.

"Which means we must have him on the ropes," Yamiri agreed. "That, or he chose this form on purpose to rile you up and get you to fight him solo for some reason. It would be folly to play into his hands. We should fight him as a team."

Ash considered this. "...You're right. Sorry guys. I guess I took this a little too personally, huh? But don't worry, I see things clearly now, so let's take him down together."

"That's what my friends and I did to your mom last night!" the not-Lucario cajoled.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY MOTHER?!" Ash roared, charging forwards in a blind fury, causing his friends to facefault.

The faux Lucario took a step forward into the mandala and closed his eyes. Ash, too angry to realize where he was going, ran into the circle…

And the red Star Badge suddenly flared to life, emitting a blinding flash of crimson light that forced everyone to cover their eyes. _Oh no,_ Ash thought in horror as his body started tingling and a familiar sensation of numbness overtook his mind. _Not now…not again, not like this! There couldn't possibly be a worse time! Well, except for when Ford was draining my energy, or when we needed to help the Regis stop the Nihilators from destroying the Tree of Beginning…dammit, why do I keep getting myself into these messes?! I'm such an idiot…_

It was with these last thoughts that everything went black for Ash, as the light expanded to engulf him and his rival while his teammates could do nothing but look on in horror as their friend lost himself in yet another vision of the past.

…

_Please…don't die…_

_I'm so sorry…_

With a flash of light, Ash, Misty, Gary, Brock, May, Dawn, Delia, and Professor Oak reappeared atop a hillock several miles outside the city limits. They watched in awe and horror as dozens and dozens of giant battleships bombarded Poketropolis with lasers, shells, missiles, bombs, and other heavy weapons. Shock troops and heavily armored tanks had been dropped into the city and were prowling through the streets, opening fire on and violently killing anyone and everything in sight.

"No…" Ash whispered, dropping to his knees.

"All those people and Pokemon…" Dawn whispered. "He's just…" She looked away, squeezing her eyes shut as tears ran down her cheeks.

"What is this?" Gary whispered, a hollow look in his eyes. "This isn't war. This isn't judgment. This is…this is genocide."

"This is truly the end of days…" Oak murmured as he held the sobbing Delia, overcome with grief at what was unfolding before their eyes. (And possibly the loss of Mimey.)

As if to agree with his assessment, the earth shook and the air rang with screams of terror and agony…and then even louder roars and explosions deafened their ears as Ho-Oh, Lugia, Rayquaza, Latias, Kyogre riding on top of a rain cloud, and a troop of flying Shaymin in Sky Forme descended from the dark clouds overhead, blasting apart any ship in their path as they made a Beedrillline for the Supreme Stadium, over which Lord Null was hovering, a white speck barely visible at the distance the humans were standing at. A pillar of magma erupted from somewhere in the city as the behemoth forms of Groudon and his smaller cousin Heatran crawled out from beneath the surface of the Earth, molten rock dripping off their forms and sizzling against the asphalt. Regigigas, Regirock, Regice, and Registeel lumbered after them while Entei, Raikou, and Suicune hopped across the rooftops on either side. "Look!" May cried. "It's the legendary Pokemon!"

"They'll stop Lord Null and Annihilation…they have to!" Misty said desperately.

"But aren't our Pokemon with Lord Null? If the legendary Pokemon defeat him, what'll happen to them?" Brock wondered.

There was a tense moment as they all considered this. "Maybe they'll be careful not to hurt them?" Gary asked hesitantly.

"In my experience, 'careful' isn't really a term you can apply to legendaries," Misty said.

"Null could have Teleported our Pokemon somewhere else just like he did us," Oak suggested. "We don't really know what happened to them after they went into his cloak."

"Even if our Pokemon are safe…can Lord Null really be defeated?" Delia wondered. "He seemed so powerful…he wiped out everyone in the stadium except for us and turned Paul's own Pokemon against him!"

"No need to worry! Legendary Pokemon are supposed to defeat guys like that! They'll have no problem wiping the floor with him!" Dawn said.

Lord Null pointed a hand at the Shaymin and fired an energy beam larger than he was, disintegrating them all at once. Then he took control of Lugia and Ho-Oh's minds and caused them to start fighting each other, following this up by telekinetically grabbing Rayquaza, wrapping him around Kyogre, and hurling them both at Groudon, knocking the Continent Pokemon over and toppling a number of skyscrapers.

Dawn wilted. "Okay, maybe they'll have a few problems…"

"I think we should strongly consider getting out of here," Gary said anxiously. "I don't believe it's going to be safe for us to be anywhere near a battle of this magnitude. Plus, Null said he'd deal with us after he finished with the legendaries, and I for one do not want to be around when he comes looking for us!"

"But if we leave, what happens to our Pokemon?" Brock asked.

"We can figure that out later. It's not like we're going to be able to do them or anyone else a lot of good if we're dead, are we?" Gary said.

"Ash, what do you think?" Misty asked. Ash did not reply or look at her. "…Ash?"

"…Why?" he whispered, standing up, a bleak and bitter look on his face. "Why does this always have to happen to me? Can't I go a few months without getting drawn into some stupid feud between gods or some madman trying to destroy the world? I never wanted to be anything more than a Pokemon Master! How do I keep getting involved in stuff like this? Is it too much to want to be normal for a change?"

Misty gave him a shocked look, and then angrily slapped him. "The world is ending around us and all you can do is think about yourself and whine about how this isn't the life you wanted?! I thought you'd become more mature than that, Ash Ketchum!"

"The world is always ending and I'm always involved, and I'm sick of it!" Ash snapped.

"Tough!" Misty yelled angrily. "People would kill to live the life you've lived and see the things you've seen, and all you can do is complain that you'd rather do something else?!"

"It's not the life I wanted!" Ash shouted.

"SINCE WHEN HAS WHAT WE WANTED EVER MATTERED?" Misty howled back, startling him. "That's not how life works. You can't just tell the universe, 'sorry, this sucks, I want something else,' you have to either make good with what you have or change things to suit yourself."

"I've tried to make good with what I have, and I'm tired of it!" Ash said angrily. "Why can't it be somebody else's problem for a change?!"

"Like who?!" Misty snapped.

"Like…" Ash hesitated.

"If you don't have the responsibilities you have, then somebody else has to, don't they? That's the way things work. But if not you, Ash, then who?" Misty asked.

"I-" Ash started.

"If not you," she repeated. "Who? It has to be someone. Can you honestly think of someone in all the world that would be better suited for this, who could do what you do as well as you have?" (Gary could actually think of a few people, but wisely decided to keep his mouth shut on that subject.)

"I…" Ash's shoulders sagged. "No. I can't."

"That's because there is nobody else," Misty said softly. "Just you. I'm sorry if you're not happy about it, but that's the way things are. I've learned by now from all of our adventures that sometimes we don't have a choice in our destinies or what happens to us. We can either accept it and work with it or get steamrolled because we refused to do what we should have done when we had the chance. Steamrolled like everyone in that city. I don't want that to happen to you, or me, or any of the people I care about. Do you?"

"…No," Ash admitted, mouth setting in a determined line. "I don't."

Misty smiled. "Good. Then let's stop fighting and figure out how to fix this mess, or, failing that, survive long enough to get a chance at payback." Ash nodded in agreement.

"…Wow," an amazed Brock whispered as he and the others looked on. "I think this is the most serious argument I've ever seen them have."

"And it didn't even escalate into (relatively) harmless violence like usual, either," Delia marveled. "That just goes to show how important they both thought it was."

"Ash sure picked an interesting woman to be his soulmate," Gary commented.

Oak smiled. "I'm not sure he ever had a choice in the matter, Gary. Love and destiny work in strange ways."

"Why can't I have a relationship with a special someone like that?!" May cried.

"What about Drew?" Brock asked.

"He's probably _dead_ by now, you idiot!" May snapped. "Just like my brother, and my parents, and _your_ parents and siblings, and everyone else all of us are close to!"

"Oh…" Brock said quietly, his face pale as he realized the truth of this harsh statement.

"Um, I don't mean to ruin the moment, but…shouldn't we be going or something?!" Dawn asked frantically. "I don't think it would be a good idea for us to be here too much longer, we might attract attention from those monsters down there and get killed!"

Oak nodded. "Right, let's try and find a Pokemon Center. Lord Null implied that he's launching strikes against every populated center on the planet—which would probably include my lab in Pallet Town--but with any luck the global computer network is still online and we can retrieve some of our other Pokemon from wherever they're being kept before they get wiped out by Annihilation. Once we have some firepower on our side, we can try and contact anyone who's managed to survive the initial attack and see about organizing a rebellion against-"

Sadly, Oak never got to finish his plan, because it was at that moment that a tremendous Flamethrower shot down from above and set him on fire. He screamed in agony as the flames consumed him, burning him alive and reducing him to cinders in mere seconds. "GRANDPA!" Gary shouted.

"PROFESSOR!" the others yelled.

As Delia screamed and jumped away, batting her clothes to try and put out the fires that had started on her body, with a great screech the legendary birds Articuno, Zapdos, and Moltres swooped down on them, wings shimmering and crackling with elemental energy. "Th-the legendary birds? But why are they attacking us?!" cried a startled Brock. "Lord Null's the bad guy, we're just innocent bystanders!"

"Who cares? Run for it before they do to us what they did to the Professor!" May yelled as she started running away as fast as she could. The others quickly followed suit.

They weren't fast enough. Articuno circled around and swooped right down towards Brock, who didn't get out of the way in time and so got the ice bird's talons driven straight into his eyes, the frozen flyer ripping out his eyeballs and popping them into its beak. Brock screamed and clutched his empty sockets, tears of blood streaming down his face, and fell to his knees, where Articuno turned him into an ice sculpture with Sheer Cold and shattered him with a flick of its wingtip. "BROCK! NO!" Misty cried.

Gary was next to go, as Zapdos charged up and fired a tremendous Thunder blast at the younger Oak, catching him in the back as he tried to escape. There was a flash of light and a great blast of static, and Gary's mutilated and tortured corpse fell to the ground, smoldering in a blackened crater, his face twisted in a frozen visage of utter despair. "GARY!" Delia cried, aghast at the death of one of her son's closest friends and rivals.

Moltres caught both May and Dawn at once, raining embers on them as it flapped its flaming wings and using Heat Wave to envelop them in its superhot breath. May's flesh melted off her skull as she clawed at her face with bony fingers, screaming until her lungs combusted and she mercifully died. Dawn's lovely blue hair burned like a Roman candle, her skull alit with flames like the rest of her writhing, shrieking body as she fell to the ground and died. Pleased with how well-cooked they were, Moltres descended on the burnt girls and began to feast.

Zapdos and Articuno turned their attentions next to the terrified Ash, Misty, and Delia, who were all that were left. "I-I don't understand!" Misty cried. "Why are you doing this?! We didn't do anything!"

"I'm the Chosen One!" Ash yelled, desperately embracing the role he had claimed he would rather not be stuck with just a minute ago. "Don't you remember me? I saved you guys and the world on several different occasions!"

They did remember, actually. However, it didn't make a difference. Why was that? Well, there were two reasons why the birds were attacking and killing Ash and his friends. The first thing was that the elemental trio were kind of dicks and, while they occasionally had a soft spot for an individual human, largely held the rest of the species in contempt. That wasn't to say they went out of their way to go around murdering humans whenever they felt like it—they got in big trouble whenever they tried it—but suffice it to say they didn't feel much guilt if they killed a few by accident or on purpose now and then. (They felt this way towards many Pokemon too, but as you've probably already gathered by now, they weren't very nice deities.)

The second reason was actually somewhat logical and would have made sense if it weren't completely wrong. Arriving a couple of minutes behind their stick-in-the-mud guardian Lugia to the scene of battle, they had noticed a group of humans Teleporting onto a hill outside of Poketropolis. The humans did not have any Pokemon on them, and did not appear to be Psychics, which indicated that something in another place had transported them there. Since there was no reason for any intelligent human—not that the birds considered _any_ human intelligent, grant you—to possibly be going _towards_ the fiery holocaust, they could only conclude that the humans were either running away or had been removed for some reason or other. And since it was doubtful that there were many Teleport-capable Pokemon in the city at that moment who could have had the coherence of mind to transport anyone what with all the chaos going on—as well as the fact that said Teleporter was conspicuously absent—led the birds to conclude that the only entity that could have done it would be Lord Null, who was certainly more than powerful enough. And since Null was the bad guy, obviously anyone _he_ felt like saving wasn't someone who deserved to live. Therefore, the birds thought themselves perfectly justified in killing these humans, who they regarded as traitors to their species and world.

As to Ash being the Chosen One? If anything, this only reinforced their belief that they were in the right. After all, it wasn't as if no Chosen One had ever become evil, right? That sort of thing happened all the time. Obviously Ash had gone over to the dark side and needed to be put out of his misery before he made things even worse.

While this line of reasoning may seem a little flawed (yet partially correct) to you or I, keep in mind that the birds weren't the brightest of legendaries and, as mentioned before, weren't particularly fond of humans. If they later found out they had made an error in judgment, they figured they could just make up some cheap excuse to get off the hook. It was war, these things happened.

And so it was that Ash, Misty, and Delia would have died that moment if another pair of legendary Pokemon who were also late to the fight hadn't showed up to help them. "Dark Void!" Darkrai, a black, shadow-like Pokemon with long white foggy 'hair,' a single blue eye, a spiky red growth around his neck, skinny clawed arms and what looked like tatters hanging from his shoulders and waist roared as he raised a ball of red and black energy into the air and launched numerous smaller balls of red and violet energy at the trio. The three birds screeched in alarm and flapped at the balls, blowing them back with elementally-charged gusts of wind.

"You know, if you didn't shout out the name of that move every time you used it, it might be easier to pull off a sneak attack with it," Darkrai's companion, a beautiful blue and yellow swan-like Pokemon with three glowing pink ring-like wings on her sides and back and a yellow head ornament that looked like a crescent moon said snarkily.

"Shut up, Cresselia," Darkrai grunted.

"What do you think you're doing? You could have hit us!" Zapdos yelled at Darkrai.

"That was kind of the point, moron!" Darkrai snorted.

"What do _you_ think you're doing? That's the Chosen One down there! He's saved the world a couple of dozen times now and each of you personally at least once! Why are you trying to kill him?!" Cresselia demanded.

"Because he's obviously gone to the dark side, duh!" Moltres said. Darkrai glared at him until the firebird grew terrified and amended her statement. "Um, I mean, he's become corrupted and evil. Yeah. Nothing wrong with darkness, no sir!"

"The Chosen One? Become evil? What could possibly give you such a preposterous idea?!" Cresselia asked incredulously.

"If he were still a hero, he'd be down in the city fighting to save the world—and probably dying in some valiant heroic sacrifice like all Chosen Ones are supposed to do eventually—rather than standing up here watching and not lifting a finger to help!" Articuno asserted. "That means he's either working for Annihilation or, more likely, has become a coward and turned his back on human and Pokemonkind, in which case we're still within our rights to kill him for betraying his species and rejecting his destiny!"

"That and we think that Null's the one who Teleported him here, and since Null's the bad guy, any person he chooses to save is probably evil as well," Zapdos reasoned.

"…That's ridiculous. You just made that up right now, didn't you?" Darkrai said.

"Unbelievable. No, wait, it's actually perfectly believable," Cresselia said. "You imbeciles have gotten away with a lot of crap in the past—such as the last time you got in a fight and nearly destroyed the world—but this really takes the cake. When Lugia hears about this, he's going to strip your immortality and legendary status for good and give your jobs to someone more responsible!"

The birds gasped. "No!" Articuno cried.

"Not that!" Moltres shrieked.

"You can't!" Zapdos protested.

"Too late, I just sent him a telepathic message right now…which he isn't picking up…" Cresselia's face went white with shock. "Because he's dead."

Darkrai gave her a startled look. "What?!"

"Lord Null has killed him," Cresselia whispered in horror.

"Then we're off the hook!" said a relieved Moltres.

"And what's more, with that prick out of the way, now we can do whatever we want without having to worry about the consequences!" Articuno said eagerly.

"Not so fast, you three. After we defeat Lord Null—and trust me, we _will_ defeat him, now that Cresselia and I are here to turn the tide—we'll find some way to resurrect our dead. We've done it before," Darkrai said.

"And once Lugia's come back to life and found out what you've done…it's curtains for the three of you!" Cresselia said with relish.

The birds panicked. "No! Please don't tell him!" Articuno begged.

"We'll do anything!" Zapdos pleaded.

"It's far too late for that. You've run out of second and third and fourth and fifth chances. This time you're going to take responsibility for what you've done," Darkrai said.

"Then we'll kill you and any other witnesses!" Moltres shrieked desperately. "You can't tell Lugia what we did if you're dead!"

Darkrai rolled his eye. "Just when I thought you couldn't get any stupider. I'm the god of _death_. That means I _can't_ die, you morons."

"Didn't you die when you got caught between Palkia and Dialga's attacks in Alamos town?" Articuno asked.

"They're deities far older and more powerful than I who are responsible for creating the Omniverse. If anyone could kill me it'd be them," Darkrai admitted. "And I got better. Since I'm the god of death, I can't exactly _stay_ dead."

"And after he revived—in the unlikely event that you killed him—he'd go and tell Lugia you did _that_ on top of everything else, which would only make things even worse for yourselves," Cresselia said.

"But when we get brought back from the dead, our memories are always a little fuzzy about events that happened just prior to our deaths due to the trauma of getting killed," Zapdos protested, desperately clinging at straws. "So if we killed you, you probably wouldn't even remember we were responsible! We could say Annihilation ambushed you guys on the way to the fight and took you out, and nobody would ever be the wiser!"

Darkrai burst into laughter. "That's it? That's really the best you can think of? Heh. Fine. If that's how you want to handle it, we'll do things your way. You three creeps have had this coming for a long time now."

"Darkrai, we don't really have time for this, the others need us," Cresselia pointed out.

"These morons probably wouldn't let us leave without a fight. We might as well give them what they asked for," Darkrai said. "I doubt this'll take more than a minute or two. Besides, can you really turn down the opportunity to pummel them for all the grief they've caused us for centuries without Lugia to (reluctantly) stand up for them?"

"…Hmm. You make a good point. Very well, let's make this quick." Her crescent wings began to vibrate. "Let's show them what happens when they threaten the lunar gods and masters of the realm of dreams." The three birds exchanged uneasy looks, wondering if they had bitten off more than they could chew…as usual.

"Chosen One, I'd recommend you get away from here," Darkrai advised Ash. "This is not a fight it would be safe for mortals to witness."

"Right," Ash said, grabbing Misty and Delia's hands. "Come on!" He quickly led them out of the way.

"Now," Darkrai said, dark energy crackling around his claws as his eye glowed ominously. "_Show me your fears_."

"What do we do now?" Delia asked breathlessly as she, Ash, and Misty made a run for it, while behind them energy beams and blasts of elemental energy and explosions shot all over the place as the gods waged war on each other.

"We'll follow Professor Oak's plan," Ash said, thinking on his feet. "There's Pokemon Centers all over the world, many out in the wilderness miles from civilization, so at least one of them must still be intact. And if I know my Pokemon and the others at Oak's lab, they won't let Annihilation destroy Pallet Town or wherever and whoever it is they're staying with without a fight. If we can get in touch with them and any surviving Gym Leaders or Elite trainers or any of our other friends scattered around the world, we might just be able to form some kind of resistance against Annihilation. It'll be tough, and our chances are pretty slim, but it's the only hope we've got!"

Misty smiled. "Ready to save the world again, huh?"

Ash shrugged. "If not me, then who?"

Sadly, this plan would never come to fruition, as the latest in a long line of tragedies struck and snuffed out this last, feeble hope for a future. While Cresselia was bombarding Zapdos with Psycho Cuts, Darkrai was evading Moltres and Articuno's attacks while charging up a Dark Pulse. Just before he could fire, however, one of Articuno's stray Ice Shards managed to strike him in the side and cause his shot to go wild, accidentally releasing the Pulse in an arc of destruction across the ground…

Right towards Ash and his friends. Realizing before the other two that they were about to get hit, Delia frantically shoved Ash and Misty out of the way, taking the full force of the blast on herself, the Dark Pulse so strong that it tore her body in half. "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"MOM!" Ash screamed.

"MRS. KETCHUM!" Misty cried.

"Oh no…" whispered Cresselia.

Darkrai gasped. "No! That…that wasn't supposed to happen! Oh Arceus…I'm sorry, Ash! I'm sorry!"

"Ha! Nice one, Dorkrai!" Zapdos laughed. Without even looking, Darkrai fired a Dark Pulse at his head. "Ack! My beautiful face!"

"Mom! Mom, stay with me!" Ash said desperately as he knelt down and grabbed his mother's severed torso, getting blood and some of her stomach contents and bodily fluids all over his arms and chest. "Don't leave! I can't…I can't lose anyone else!"

"Ash…honey..." Delia whispered, blood dripping from her mouth.

"Yes, Mom?" Ash asked.

"Remember…to change…your underwear…" Delia's eyes rolled back in her head, and she went limp in Ash's arms.

"Mom? Mom! MOM!" Ash screamed, frantically shaking what was left of his mother.

"Oh, Ash…" Misty whispered, beginning to cry.

"Uh, well, we'll just be going now-" Moltres said quickly.

"Oh no you don't! You three have to answer for this, too!" Cresselia said angrily.

"What do you mean? Darkrai's the one that killed her, not us!" Articuno protested.

"Only because you messed up my aim!" Darkrai roared angrily. "It may have been my attack that killed her, but the blame still falls on your heads!"

As the legendaries bickered, Misty watched helplessly as Ash sat crouched over his mother's bifurcated form, shoulders heaving. What was she supposed to do? How could she help him through something like this? What could she possibly say that would make everything better? "Ash…" she whispered.

"Mom…" Ash murmured weakly, eyes squeezed shut and his face contorted in a mask of pain and grief. "_MOM…_"

Every person has their breaking point, even heroes. Ash had been put under a lot of stress that day, what with being handpicked by an unbelievably evil being to survive the extinction of human and Pokemonkind, having his Pokemon and best friend stolen from him, watching his friends get murdered before his eyes, and now seeing his mother get killed in an incredibly brutal accident. It was all too much for one boy, barely even a man, to take. And so, inevitably, he snapped…and as it always is with individuals like Ash, it was horrific to behold. He threw back his head and screamed long and loud, a great primal wail more animal than human, a cry that caused the legendaries to pause and seemed to distort space and time itself. "Ash?" Misty whispered, startled.

"Wh-what was that?" stammered Zapdos.

"Oh no…" Cresselia said. "Something very bad is about to happen."

She was right. Ash surged to his feet and with a great cry unleashed a shockwave of power that shook the earth and knocked everyone away from him. He was engulfed by a pillar of black flames that rose miles into the air and burned so hot that, paradoxically, it was actually _cold._ As everyone looked on in surprise, a pair of white spots appeared in the midst of the pillar and the flames subsided, revealing the pitch-black figure of Ash, covered completely in swirling Aura darker than darkness itself, his eyes absolutely white voids empty of emotion or spirit or anything even remotely human. The ground beneath his feet withering as his Aura gleefully sapped the energy from it, Ash slowly turned and focused those unblinking eyes on the legendary Pokemon, and for the first time in a long while Darkrai, master of nightmares, remembered what fear felt like. "Oh shit."

"You see? We told you! He's become evil!" the terrified Moltres said.

"You should have let us kill him when we had the chance!" Zapdos said.

"If he's gone evil, it's because you pushed him to it!" Darkrai snapped.

"Perhaps he can still be reasoned with?" Cresselia asked uncertainly.

The actions Ash took in the next few seconds demonstrated how wrong she was. The human took a step forward…and was suddenly floating in the air right in front of Articuno. The ice bird started. "Wh-what-" Ash held out his hands, a pair of absolutely black Aura Spheres forming in them. He clapped his hands against the sides of Articuno's head, smashing the Spheres into them…but rather than exploding in a shower of gore, something much more disturbing happened. The Spheres melded together and imploded, creating a micro-black hole that utterly consumed Articuno's head before sucking the rest of the bird's body into it, bones and muscles liquefying with a sickening noise as all of the Freeze Pokemon's one hundred and twenty-two point one pounds were compressed into a single point by massive gravity and was reduced to nothingness.

As the black hole consumed itself and was removed from existence, Ash slowly turned to face the other two birds. Zapdos panicked and started flying away, while Moltres desperately spat a Flamethrower at him. Ash hovered there, unflinching, as the flames harmlessly washed over him, only causing his Aura to flicker malevolently as the fire teased at it. He shot forward and grabbed Moltres by her long, skinny neck, causing her to croak as his Aura burned into her flesh and he choked her with his ridiculously strong grip. He drew back one arm and thrust it into the Flame Pokemon's open gasping beak up to the shoulder. When he pulled his arm back out, he took with it Moltres's entire bodily interior, turning her inside out and killing her instantly.

He dropped the disgusting mass of bones and flesh and organs and turned to the fleeing Zapdos. In the blink of an eye, he appeared in front of the thunderbird, blocking his path. "L-leave me alone!" Zapdos squawked in fright, releasing a Thunder attack. Completely unharmed by the electrical attack, Ash grabbed one of Zapdos's wings in each hand and _pulled_, tearing the Electric Pokemon in half right down the middle and causing blood and gore to fly everywhere, sizzling and disintegrating as it made contact with his Aura. The three birds taken care of, he turned his attention to Darkrai and Cresselia, who cautiously defended themselves.

"Okay, you may have taken those three out easily, but we're a whole other class of deity, you won't-" Darkrai started, only to find Ash's fist imbedded in his gut. "Wh-what?!" he stammered in disbelief. "But…but I'm the god of death, I can't-" Ash released a wave of power from his fist, ripping Darkrai into shreds of darkness which writhed through the air and melted into shadow.

"NO!" Cresselia cried. "Darkrai's attack may have killed your mother, but it was an accident, Ash! He didn't deserve-" Ash interrupted her by grabbing her neck and slamming her into the ground hard enough to crater it and break every bone in her body. She gasped as he tore off one of her wings and lifted it into the air, his Aura engulfing it to change it into a burning black crescent. "Wh-why…I have done nothing to you…why have you-" The last thing she saw before he brought the blade down and ended her life was his eyes, and in them she discovered the answer. There was nothing even remotely human in that empty white gaze. Ash had not killed Articuno, Zapdos, Moltres, or Darkrai out of rage or vengeance for the friends they had killed, even if only by accident. He had killed them for the same reason he was killing her: because they were there.

"Ash, that's enough!" Misty cried desperately as she ran up the hill while Ash brought his blade down again and again, chopping the Lunar Pokemon into several messy pieces. Ash had already killed Cresselia, was it necessary for him to mutilate her corpse too?! "Please, stop, there's no reason for you to be doing this-" Ash turned to look at her, and she froze dead in her tracks, realizing suddenly that it was not Ash who was looking at her. There was nothing of the boy she loved in those eyes. "A-Ash?" she whispered, taking a step back as Ash slowly rose to his feet, still clinging the improvised weapon he had made out of Cresselia's wing. "Ash. It's me, Misty. You know, your girlfriend? Remember all the good times we've had…except the parts where we shouted at each other and I hit you with a mallet…on second thought, maybe you shouldn't be thinking about those times in your current state…"

Ash did not move towards her, but he also didn't stop looking at her. Tension built in the air, and Misty had no idea whether she should be standing her ground or running for her life. _This is ridiculous_, she thought, trying to regain her confidence. _I don't know what's happened to him, but he's still Ash. And the Ash I know would never hurt me._

_(He clutched her dead body to his chest, sobbing, refusing to believe her life had been snuffed out as easily as a candle even as her blood soaked into his clothes and stained his hands and face. "Please…don't die…")_

_NEVER,_ she repeated to herself.

_("I'm so sorry…")_

Ash hesitated—Misty liked to think, even later, that it was from uncertainty—and then he took a step towards her…

And suddenly Lord Null was there behind Ash, his pristine white armor and cloak covered in blood. ASH,he said. Ash turned to face him. Lord Null opened his cape and engulfed him in its voluminous, seemingly infinite folds.

"NO!" Misty cried, running towards him.

CALM YOURSELF, Null said, opening his cloak again. Ash, unconscious and reverted to his normal self, fell out. Misty ran over and tended to him as Null closed his cloak back up once more. HE IS UNHARMED.

"What did you do to him?" Misty asked, looking up at the towering colossus.

I NEUTRALIZED HIM.

"What…what _was_ that?" Misty asked.

ASH HAS THE POWER OF AURA, Null explained. AURA DEPENDS ON EMOTIONS AND THE POWER OF A PERSON'S HEART. WHEN A POKEMON'S HEART IS SEALED OFF AND COMPLETELY ENGULFED IN DARKNESS, THEY BECOME TERRIBLE MONSTERS CALLED SHADOW POKEMON. BUT WHEN THE SAME THING HAPPENS TO ONE WHO CAN USE AURA…SOMETHING FAR WORSE IS BORN. YOU ARE LUCKY I GOT HERE IN TIME.

"He wouldn't have hurt me," Misty insisted.

I HOPE YOU ARE RIGHT. EVEN SO, IT WAS NECESSARY I SNAP HIM OUT OF IT, FOR HIS OWN SAFETY. YOU SAW WHAT HE'S CAPABLE OF. HE IS A DANGER TO HIMSELF AND EVERYTHING AROUND HIM, Null said.

Misty stood between Ash and Null, blocking his body from the entity's gaze. "I won't let you kill him."

I DO NOT INTEND TO KILL HIM. AS I TOLD YOU IN THE STADIUM, IT WAS MY INTENT TO SAVE YOU. I NEVER ANTICIPATED THAT THIS COULD HAPPEN… Null said, looking at the corpses of Ash's friends and the legendary Pokemon with something that sounded almost like regret. I SHOULD HAVE TELEPORTED YOU ALL TO THE SHELTER I HAD PREPARED RIGHT AWAY RATHER THAN SENDING YOU HERE. ALL THESE DEATHS ARE MY FAULT.

"That's right, they are," Misty said angrily. "What do you intend to do about it?"

IT IS JUST ANOTHER THING FOR ME TO RECTIFY. ONE OF MANY. Null opened his cloak. The corpses and remains surrounding them quivered and suddenly rose into the air, flying into and vanishing inside Null's body.

"Hey! What did you-" Misty started.

YOU WILL SEE THEM AGAIN SOME DAY. POSSIBLY EVEN ALIVE, Null said.

Misty blinked. "Huh? What do you mean?"

IT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU NEED CONCERN YOURSELF WITH RIGHT NOW. WHAT DOES MATTER IS THAT I GET YOU AND ASH TO THAT SHELTER, Null said. THE LEGENDARIES ARE DEAD. MY FORCES HAVE WIPED OUT NINETY PERCENT OF ALL LIFE ON THIS PLANET, AND SOON I WILL LAUNCH THE ORGANIC SWEEP TO FINISH OFF THE REST OF IT. AND ONCE THAT'S TAKEN CARE OF…MY _REAL_ WORK BEGINS.

"Your real…" Misty shook angrily. "Why…why are you doing all this?! What's the point?! You're destroying our planet…but you're letting Ash and I live? I don't understand any of this…what are you trying to do anyway?!" She froze, a horrible thought occurring to her. "You're not…cleansing the planet or something and expecting Ash and I to reproduce and create a new species or something, are you?!"

OF COURSE NOT. THAT WOULD NEVER WORK, Null said. AN INTERESTING THOUGHT, THOUGH. NO, MY MOTIVATIONS ARE FAR MORE COMPLEX THAN THAT. I WOULD EXPLAIN THEM TO YOU…BUT YOU HAVE ALREADY MADE UP YOUR MIND ABOUT ME, AND I DOUBT YOU WOULD BELIEVE ANY REASON I GAVE YOU OR UNDERSTAND WHAT I AM TRYING TO DO, SO I WILL LET YOU SEE THE FRUIT OF MY LABORS YOURSELF WHEN THEY ARE FINISHED AND JUDGE WHETHER OR NOT IT WAS ALL WORTH IT.

"I highly doubt it will be," she snarled, glaring hatefully at him.

YOU MIGHT BE RIGHT, Null admitted. BUT EVEN SO, I MUST DO IT. AND WHAT YOU MUST DO, MISTY, IS TAKE CARE OF ASH.

She blinked. "Take care of…what do you mean?"

ASH IS VERY UNSTABLE RIGHT NOW, AS YOU HAVE NO DOUBT NOTICED. HIS HEART IS SHROUDED WITH ANGER AND SORROW. IF HE IS TO BE PREVENTED FROM DESTROYING HIMSELF AND EVERYTHING ELSE, SOMEONE NEEDS TO BREAK THROUGH TO HIM…AND THAT SOMEONE IS YOU, Null said.

"Because he loves me," Misty realized.

YES. LOVE IS A POWERFUL THING, Null said. CAPABLE OF DESTROYING REDEEMING, OR EVEN CREATING THE WORST OF MONSTERS…WHICH IS WHAT ASH MIGHT BECOME IF YOU DO NOT SAVE HIM.

"I'll help him," Misty said decisively. "I have to. There's nobody else who can…not anymore, that is."

NO, Null agreed. THERE ISN'T. Ash's form levitated into the air. COME. WE MUST GO NOW. THERE IS NOTHING LEFT FOR EITHER OF US HERE.

"What about our Pokemon?" Misty asked.

Null paused. …I AM NOT FINISHED WITH THEM. AS I PROMISED BEFORE, THEY WILL BE RETURNED TO YOU WHEN I AM DONE.

"And why should I believe you? You have the advantage of me in every way. Why should I believe your promises?" Misty demanded.

BECAUSE WITHOUT THEM, YOU HAVE NOTHING, Null said. A small shuttlecraft descended, boarding ramp lowering to allow them entry. COME. WE MUST GO. He turned and glided up the ramp, Ash's limp form floating after him.

For a moment, Misty considered refusing out of spite, in an attempt to exert control over one aspect of what was left of her life in this broken world. She turned and looked around her, at the burning cinders of Poketropolis, at the desolate wasteland being created as the Annihilation forces spread out to kill any survivors, eliminating everything in their path. It was not a particularly inviting or inspiring sight.

If Misty stayed behind—assuming Null would let her—what was left for her? The world had effectively ended, as had her place in it. While the future in Null's hands did not look particularly bright or promising, at least she would have Ash.

With a sigh, she turned and tiredly strode up the ramp into the shuttle, resigned to her fate. As she had said to Ash only minutes before…sometimes you either had to go along with whatever horrible plans destiny had for you, or be crushed and forgotten.

Misty did not want to be forgotten.

The ramp retracted into the ship once she was inside, and the shuttle took off, leaving the ruins of Poketropolis and its dead millions behind. A new life awaited Misty and Ash. Misty was not particularly looking forward to it.

_Please…don't die…_

_I'm so sorry…_

…

The light gradually dimmed and faded, revealing Ash and the faux-Lucario, panting and looking a little dazed. "Huh," Leo said in surprise. "That only took a few seconds. Much shorter than the last time he went into a flashback."

"It is?" Yamiri asked.

Pikachu nodded. "Yeah, some of the previous times that's happened to him he fell unconscious for several minutes…often in the middle of very dangerous situations."

"Good to see that did not happen this time, then," Sasha said.

Ash growled and rubbed his eyes, recovering faster than his opponent. "Ugh…okay, I've had enough of this crap! I'm finishing this!"

The Ditto blinked in confusion. "Huh? W-wait…something's not-" He was interrupted when Ash jumped over the red Star Badge and slammed his paws into the malformed Lucario's chest, firing a Force Palm that sent him flying. As the fake arced through the air, Ash charged up and lobbed an Aura Sphere which slammed into the Ditto before he could hit the ground, exploding and sending him flying out of the belfry. "Aaaahhhhhh!"

Ash ran over to the hole the Ditto had been flung through and watched as his enemy fell down the side of the temple. He turned back to the others once he was sure the Ditto had hit the ground and was staying there without turning into something else to come back up and continue the fight. "He's down. I doubt he's dead, but that should put him out of commission for a while. Come on, let's get what we came for and get out of this dump!"

Yamiri nodded. "And figure out a way to destroy that cursed bell and release the imprisoned ghosts, including Master Yon!"

"Maybe my sword can do the job," Pikachu said, eyeing the bell. "It slew that thing's owner, after all, a hundred years ago."

"We can't forget the Star Badge, either," Leo said, picking up the gem and stowing it in his shell. "We've had a pretty lousy track record with these things so far, we have to make extra-sure not to lose this one!"

"Yeah, that would really suck, wouldn't it?" Ash said as he walked back over.

Abruptly, Tiny started crying. "Huh? What is it, Tiny?" Leo asked.

"Ash, get over here, you're the only one who can ever figure out what's bothering Tiny and calm him down," Pikachu said.

Ash nodded. "Sure thing." Oddly, Tiny's crying increased as Ash walked towards him. Odder still, Sasha abruptly juxtaposed herself between the Larvitar and Lucario, fur bristling as she growled savagely. "Huh?! What the-"

"Sasha, what are you doing?!" Pikachu asked.

"That is _not_ Ash!" Sasha snarled.

Pikachu blinked. "Huh? Of course it's Ash, what do you-"

Leo gasped as he finished a quick scan of the Lucario. "No, she's right! He has the same DNA profile as Ash, but there are still a few telltale genetic tags that mark him as a Ditto Transformation! It's not Ash, it's the other guy!"

The Lucario who was most certainly not Ash stiffened. "Damn! How did you know?!"

Pikachu started. "What?! But how…"

"That flash of light from the star!" Yamiri realized. "When both Ash and the Ditto stepped into the mandala, he must have cast some kind of spell to make them switch places…or bodies…something like that!"

"But…" Pikachu's eyes widened in horror. "Then that means…the thing that got thrown off the side…oh no…Ash!"

"Heh, don't worry, he'll be fine…" the Ditto in Lucario's clothing sneered. "In his current form, death by falling isn't something he should worry about…what you should all be more concerned with is his impending erasure from existence!"

"What?!" cried Pikachu.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Leo demanded.

"I've stolen more than Ash's form, but also his identity! What I just got rid of was his shadow. And soon that shadow will be no more, as everything that was his becomes mine…and then I'll be the only Ash in town!" the Ditto cackled.

"We will not let that happen," Yamiri said, drawing his prayer slips and mace.

"You're going to tell us how to undo whatever you did right now!" Pikachu growled, cheek sacs and Thunder Fang crackling furiously.

"Yeah, I don't think so…" the Ditto said, backflipping and landing on top of one of the few tables that hadn't been destroyed in the fight. He snatched up a beaker. "Be seeing you!" He dashed it to the ground, causing its contents to ignite in a volatile flash and cloud of smoke before the heroes could stop him.

Sasha quickly blew the smoke away with Razor Wind before any of it could get in their lungs, something Leo was most grateful for. Pikachu sighed when he saw that they were alone in the room. "He got away. Why am I not surprised?"

"Mon, I hate it when bad guys do that," Leo complained.

"What did he mean about stealing Ash's identity? And how soon Ash would no longer exist?" Sasha wondered.

Yamiri frowned. "I have an idea…and if I'm correct, that means we don't have much time. We need to find both Ash and that Ditto before it is too late to reverse the spell!"

"He can probably still shapeshift, though," Pikachu pointed out. "That means it's going to be hard to find him."

"Not that hard," Leo said. "Think about it, he can't skip town! All the stuff he needs is here--the bell, the one hundred and eight ghosts, and the star badge. He's going to need to stick around if he's going to get any of that back and fulfill his plans. That not only limits our search area, but we also have two surefire methods to sniff him out…my shades and Sasha's disaster-sense! No matter what form he takes, he can't hide from them!"

Yamiri nodded in agreement. "That is true…so we have a few advantages."

"Not to mention we already know where Ash is," Sasha said. "He's lying at the base of the temple." She paused. "Isn't he?"

They exchanged worried looks then rushed over to the hole Ash had been thrown through. They looked down. Sure enough, Ash's body was gone. "Dammit," Pikachu swore. "Why does this sort of thing always happen to us? He probably wandered off and got himself lost again. How can anyone with such a good sense of smell and Aura-tracking be so bad at navigating?"

"Well, I've heard of people with worse senses of direction," Leo said. "I mean, it's not like he ever got lost in his own backyard or a straight hallway, right?"

"Actually…" Pikachu said. Leo sweatdropped.

"He cannot have gotten too far," Sasha said.

Yamiri nodded in agreement. "If we hurry, we might be able to catch up to him."

"Then let's get going," said Pikachu.

"Wait, where's Tiny?" Leo asked, suddenly realizing the Larvitar was not with them.

They searched the room. Tiny was nowhere to be found. "Where is he?!" Pikachu said.

"Maybe he got tired of our talking and went to find Ash on his own?" Leo suggested.

"Then we need to find him quickly, too," Yamiri said. "It is not safe for one as young as him to wander the streets with a shapeshifting monster on the loose."

"With any luck, he will find Ash before we do," Sasha said. "They do seem to have a connection, after all."

"Then where we find one, we'll find the other," Pikachu deduced. "Okay. Let's move! We don't have much time to spare. Ash is counting on us!"

They started heading back down the temple. Before Pikachu climbed the ladder leading out of the belfry, he glared at Yamatorochi's bell. "This isn't over. I'll be back for you."

"Why are you talking to an inanimate object?" Leo asked from below.

"I…uh…" Pikachu stammered, then quickly redirected the subject. "Well, I've seen _you_ making sweet-talk with your computer!"

"That's because I love my computer and it loves me. I've considered installing an artificial intelligence program into it so I can have a virtual girlfriend if I never get a real one," Leo said completely honestly.

Pikachu stared at Leo blankly. "…Leo, sometimes you terrify me."

"Yeah, I know," Leo said.

…

Meanwhile, back in Pokemon Square…

"And that is how I became Rayquaza," the Bagon said, finishing his story.

"Incredible…" Scotty murmured.

"Quite the amazing tale," the Mayor agreed.

"And now I know why my relatives up in Sky Tower are so tight-lipped about business there," Joy said.

"Sabrina, were you aware of any of this?" Aaron asked the Xatu.

She shook her head. "I have had visions of fragments of this tale in the past, but I did not know the full circumstances and context until now."

"Do you suppose this could be the reason the summoning spell went awry?" the Mayor asked. "Because our friend here, while a Rayquaza in body, was not quite one in spirit?" The Bagon fidgeted uncomfortably.

"That could indeed be one possible reason," Sabrina agreed. "I shall look into it."

"Bellum…" Raiki muttered. "Something sounds familiar about that name…" He gasped. "Wait a minute, that's right! That's the name of that ice witch my sons ran into in the Mystifying Woods!"

Nuken started. "What?! Your sons encountered Bellum?! I have been searching the world for her for centuries! Why did you not tell me before that they had run into her?!"

"We never mentioned it because we didnae know it was relevant to ye," Scotty said.

Raiki nodded. "Yeah, you never mentioned that you were hunting for Bellum before."

"…That is true," Nuken admitted. "So this means she must be in league with our enemies, these 'Nihilators.' Somehow I am not surprised." He hesitated. "Tell me, was…was my daughter…"

"Bellum attacked my sons and their friends with two other ghosts, a Rotom and a Misdreavus," Raiki reported. "Based on what they told me and the story your King just gave us, I'm pretty sure those were her daughters…including the one she got off of you. Her name is Lily, apparently."

"Lily…hmm. Not the name I would have chosen for my offspring," Nuken murmured. "And…what was she like? Was she as psychotic and cruel as her mother? Or was she anything like…well, me?"

Raiki shrugged. "You'd have to ask the boys about that, it's not like I ever met her. But their friend Leo said that Lily seemed rather…well, nice. Aside from the fact that she was trying to kill them. She was rather apologetic about that."

Nuken spluttered in disbelief. "Nice?! A child of mine is NICE?! There's no way she inherited that from my side of the family!"

Scotty sweatdropped. "Would ye rather she be cold and ruthless, then?"

"At least then she and I would have some traits in common," Nuken said. "Nice. Hmmph. Missy is nice, and there are some days when I can barely stand her. If and when I inevitably rescue my daughter from her mother's clutches, I'll have _two_ nice Misdreavuses in my unlife. Wonderful."

The Bagon sweatdropped. "You find the strangest things to nitpick, Nuken…"

"Did you ever manage to find that cultist who got away?" the Mayor asked.

Nuken shook his head. "Unfortunately, no. We interrogated the other collaborators mercilessly, but they were clueless as to that Pokemon's identity. All they knew was that it was an old friend of Bellum's, and that it never appeared anywhere without the all-covering cloak it wore."

"Hmm…wonder if it's still around…" the Mayor muttered.

"It's probably out there plotting to kill us as we speak," Scotty said pessimistically.

"If such a Pokemon were still alive--which, considering the longevity of most magical practitioners, is quite likely--then it is possible that it is also in league with the Nihilators, considering that Bellum is involved with them as well. If this is the case, there's a possibility that it had a hand in the failure of the summoning spell," Sabrina theorized. "A Pokemon skilled in transferring energy between living conduits such as that would certainly know the best way to disrupt a ritual like the one we performed, which operated on the same principles…basically, channeling a form of energy—the spirit of the Guardian of Light—from one place or being into another, namely, from her body in the Celestial Heavens to Latias."

Aaron sighed. "It's starting to seem as if there were countless reasons the spell might have backfired. For all we know, _all_ of them could be the cause, or none. I'm beginning to wonder if we'll ever know what really happened."

"I certainly intend to try and find out," Sabrina said.

"Speaking of finding…any luck on locating that green energy dragon thing that blew out of the temple?" Raiki asked.

"Nae," Scotty said regretfully.

"My mons are still trying to track it. All we know for certain is that it flew away from here in a roughly southeasterly direction," Nuken said.

"What was it, anyway?" Joy asked.

"Based on the story we just heard, I believe it was the power Rayquaza gave our friend here just before passing away," Sabrina said. "The failure of the spell must have dislodged it. Where it will go to roost, however…that I am not so sure of."

"Speaking of stories, I think it's about time we heard yours, Mayor," the Bagon said. "You promised you would tell yours after I explained how I became Rayquaza."

"Aye, ye promised ye were finally going tae let us all in on the big secret about Pokemon Square and why everyone wants tae destroy it," Scotty agreed.

"As well as how it ties into the Joy family," Aaron added, causing Joy to fidget.

The Mayor sighed. "Very well. I suppose it's time you all knew the truth."

"You can say that again," Raiki agreed.

"Where to begin?" the Mayor wondered. "Well…okay, let's start with some history. About a thousand years ago, give or take, an incredibly powerful evil being caused a disaster that almost destroyed the world, something so bad that it nearly killed everyone on Earth, permanently wiped out the human race, rearranged the continents, and for some reason could not be completely remembered by the survivors or those who had been killed by it after they were resurrected. Had not the Savior Deoxys come to our aid and assisted the remaining legendary Pokemon in defeating the evil being, none of us would be here now. Once the being was driven away, they worked together to rebuild the world and resurrect the slain Pokemon, but for some reason could not bring back the humans. Deoxys left when his work was finished, and life eventually became as it is now."

"We really need to thank that guy some day," the Bagon said.

"We believe that the being that caused this disaster is our current enemy, the enigmatic leader of the Nihilators called 'Oblivion's Shadow,' correct?" Aaron recalled.

"Not believe," Sabrina said sternly. "We know it for a fact."

"Everyone knows that story," Raiki said, somewhat disappointed. "When are you going to tell us something we haven't heard?"

"And what does this story have tae do with Pokemon Square?" Scotty demanded.

"Or the Joys?" Nuken asked.

"I'm getting to that," the Mayor said. He paused, and then took a deep breath. "You see, the thing is…that story I just told you? That's not what actually happened."

There was a long pause. "Wait, what?" Raiki said.

"I don't understand," said the puzzled Bagon.

"What do you mean that isn't what happened?!" Nuken demanded.

"Aye, if it didnae happen, then how could we be chatting about it now, all warm an' cozy and most certainly alive? Or undead," Scotty corrected quickly as Nuken glared at him.

"What are you saying, Mayor? All of us have been told that story since we were children. Are you telling us it was all a lie? If so, why? What really happened, then?" Aaron asked.

The Mayor sighed. "The truth of the matter is…there is no 'almost' regarding that great disaster. Oblivion's Shadow, or whatever he called himself back then, didn't 'nearly' destroy the world. He _succeeded_. EVERYONE died, including the legendaries. And as for the rest of the planet…it exploded. His power was so great that he blew the world and everything on it to smithereens. The Moon, too! Deoxys arrived too late to stop the madman before he destroyed it all."

"What?! But…then how can we still be here?" asked a confused Aaron.

"The planet certainly doesn't seem to be exploded," Nuken said skeptically, glancing around them.

"Yeah…unless it's all a simulation and we're all either dead or close to death or kept in some kind of suspended animation with our minds plugged into 'the world' to keep us complacent and unaware of what's really going on, like in that one sci-fi movie trilogy which had a pretty great first installment but the latter two kind of fell flat," Raiki said. The others stared at him. "What?"

"The world may have been destroyed…but the part about the Savior repairing it is true, is it not?" Sabrina asked.

The Mayor nodded. "That's correct. Deoxys repaired the Earth and resurrected the Pokemon who died. All that happened more or less like it did in the story."

The Bagon frowned. "Then why lie about the rest of it? Aside from the part where Oblivion's Shadow completely destroyed the world rather than being stopped at the last moment, this sounds pretty much the same as the old story. What reason would there be to conceal the truth? What difference does it make?"

"I'm not finished. There's a lot more to the story then I've explained so far. You see…when Deoxys finally arrived, he fought Oblivion's Shadow, who had naturally survived the planet's destruction, and defeated him in a great battle, causing him to flee into the depths of space. Deoxys was then about to start rebuilding Earth using his super-science, as he has done for so many other worlds…when something happened. Something that could not be included in future retellings of the tale—until this one, of course--for the secret it involved was so great that if it were ever widely known, it would completely change the way people live their lives or look at the world."

"Oooh," said Raiki, intrigued.

"Enough of this preamble and dramatic buildup, mon! Tell us what this secret is!" an exasperated Nuken snapped.

"Aye! Get to the point!" Scotty agreed.

"Very well," the Mayor said. "You see, the thing that happened before Deoxys could begin reconstructing the Earth, the thing that was hidden from everyone…is that Mew, the Holy Mother, appeared to him."

They gasped at this. "Mew?!" Aaron cried.

"Holy Mother…er, Wife or Arceus!" Scotty swore.

"Her? But why?" Sabrina wondered.

"What…what was she doing there?!" the Bagon asked.

"She had a proposition for him. Something that would change the future of our world and possibly the entire Omniverse, and be critical in averting a future crisis," the Mayor said.

"A proposition…" Raiki murmured.

"What was it?" Scotty asked.

Joy spoke up. "The Planet Seed project."

…

Meanwhile, somewhere else entirely…

Sam parked the DeSoto on the side of the street in a city somewhere a few universes over from Twilight's Edge. He and Sam got out and looked around. "Here we are in San Michel," Sam announced to nobody.

"Phew, sure is hot here," Max complained, wiping his brow.

"They call it the 'city of the sun' for a reason, little buddy," Sam said.

They started walking through town. The inhabitants didn't seem particularly disturbed by their presence there, but considering that said inhabitants were half-human half-Pokemon hybrids, creatures like Sam and Max didn't particularly stand out, although what species of Pokemon they were supposed to be was probably something more than a few residents were trying to figure out. "What are we doing here again, Sam?" Max asked.

"I just told you five minutes ago," Sam said.

"Yes, but you know how my attention span is. It went in one ear and right out the other," Max demonstrated by sticking an arm into one of his overlarge ears. His hand popped out of the other ear, holding his brain. Having no idea what it was, he ate it. Since he never used it anyway, he suffered no noticeable adverse effects.

"That's very true, little buddy. All right, for expositional purposes, I'll explain what we're doing here again," Sam said. "Jurgen has become too powerful for traditional anti-vampire weaponry to defeat, and only the power of sunlight (or at least UV radiation, as that fat turtle with the sunglasses demonstrated) can harm him. Therefore, I decided that we could find help in destroying him once and for all by coming here, to the home of a legendary vampire hunter who wields the power of the sun…the Solar Boy Jango, master of the Blaster del Sol, and his mentor Master Otaku!"

"Oh, right, the mute armored guy with the talking sunflower, I remember them now," Max said. "Do you think Otaku's forgotten about that time I tried to eat him?"

"We'll see, little buddy. We'll see," Sam said.

…

Meanwhile, in the Summerland jungle…

"Gary, I sssee the other racersss! I think we're finally catching up!" Evan hissed.

"About time! It's a good thing we were able to flip the car back over so quickly, or we might have been out of the race for sure!" Gary said.

They, and the other racers in the Grand Prix, were currently driving down winding roads cut into the sides of a large lush green canyon crisscrossed with bridges and a roaring river at the bottom fed by spectacular waterfalls. It would have been a magnificent sight if the racers cared to look and weren't too busy trying to keep from crashing into each other or driving off the sides of the road to enjoy the view.

Just ahead of them was the racing team in second-to-last place, Rick Recreant and Chumley. "Curses, they've caught up faster than I had expected," the Shiftry swore. "I cannot stand for this, Chumley! Even if I can't win the race, I want to make sure somebody else finishes in dead last for a change!"

"That's a reasonable goal to shoot for," Chumley agreed. "Certainly more possible than getting in first, anyway."

"Now, how should we go about delaying them further?" Rick pondered. "Fire a missile at the top of the canyon to trigger a rockslide? Burn one of the bridges after we've crossed it so they'll need to find a longer way around? Disguise ourselves and set up a roadblock and detour sign to trick them into going the wrong way and driving off a cliff?"

"Or we could just hit that item box up ahead and use whatever's inside it against them," Chumley suggested, pointing at the large crystalline multicolored box in the road right in front of them with question marks on the sides.

"That works too," Rick agreed reluctantly, feeling that doing it by the rules lacked style. He drove into the box, smashing it open and causing his car's computer to download the item data inside, which it could then replicate with a push of a button to use against the other racers. How was this possible, you might ask? I have no idea.

They looked at the object that appeared on the dashboard screen and snickered evilly. "Mwhehehahahaha! That's perfect!" Rick cried.

"Yeah, nothing like a classic," Chumley agreed.

Rick pushed a button, causing a hatch on the back of the car to open up and dispense a banana peel onto the road behind them. "That'll trip them up for sure!" Rick cackled.

Evan gasped, seeing the obstacle in front of them. "Gary, look out, it'sss a banana peel!"

Gary rolled his eyes. "Evan, this is a race, not a cartoon. Cars can't slip on banana peels!"

He drove over the peel. The tire slipped on it and the car instantly started spinning wildly out of control. "I stand corrected," Gary said.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHH!" Evan screamed.

Madly swerving and twirling about, the car smashed into the canyon wall, rebounded, and broke through the railing on the side of the road, plummeting to their deaths…

Until they landed on a bridge several meters below them that the winding road they had been driving on would eventually have fed into anyway, moving them up into fourth place (especially after their sudden appearance on the bridge startled Penelope Perfect and Peter Pitstop--who had been in fourth at that time—and caused them to frantically serve to keep from crashing into the Mach 6, driving off the side of the bridge and landing in the river below). "Wow," Gary said. "What a coincidence. I did not expect us to survive that. Well, I would have, naturally, but I figured you would be dead for sure."

"I think I sssoiled myssself," Evan whimpered.

"Clean it up," Gary said, shifting into gear and driving down the bridge before any of the racers behind them could catch up. "We have a race to win, and our car can't be smelling like a toilet when we reach the finish line! Plus, Torque would probably literally kill us if we messed up his car. Well, you, anyway."

"What about thossse guysss who we knocked off the bridge?" Evan asked, glancing into the river as the current swept Penelope and Peter away.

"Oh, they'll be fine," Gary said carelessly.

"HELP!" Peter screamed. "I can't swim!"

"And I don't think those Feraligatr and Carvanha swimming towards us want autographs," Penelope said anxiously.

"You're right, we don't," the Feraligatr said.

"Er…well, they're just a stupid celebrity couple. They're a dime a dozen anyway. Nobody'll miss them," Gary said.

"What about their fansss?" Evan asked.

"They'll mourn for a few days and write lame poetry about killing themselves, then attach themselves to some other attractive rising star to slavishly worship," Gary said.

"Yeah, you're probably right," Evan agreed. "Ssstupid teenagersss."

"Drat, double-drat, and triple-drat!" Rick cursed. "Now we're in last again, and they've moved up to fourth place! This is all your fault, Chumley!"

"Me! What did I do?!" Chumley demanded.

"You're the one who said we should try playing by the rules for a change, and look where that got us! We're no better off than we would have been if we had just cheated right from the start!" Rick said.

Chumley sighed. "I'm starting to wonder if the universe just doesn't want us to win or something…no matter what we do, we can't seem to get ahead. Oh well, at least Peter and Penelope are out of the race."

Rick hit him. "You idiot! You know I've harbored a crush on Penelope for the longest time! Now we have to go and save her from getting eaten or falling over the inevitable waterfall at the end of the canyon, putting us even further behind! On the plus side, when I save her life, maybe she'll go on a date with me!" he said, perking up at this thought.

Chumley rolled his eyes. "Dream on, Rick…dream on."

…

And so the wacky races continue! Oh, and other dramatic stuff happened too.

I think this may have been the darkest flashback yet. What do you think? What do you suppose has happened to Ash? And will the Mayor ever stop dragging his fins and tell everyone what the big secret is already?

The answer to most of those will be revealed next chapter. Oh, and Team Rocket will do some weird stuff. You should expect that by now, though.


	35. A new ally! The Secret of Pokemon Square

It looks like winter break is coming to a close, and school is starting up again. How sad.

Oh well, back to the grindstone, huh?

In this chapter, something I'm sure a number of readers have been anticipating for a while now will take place. But since you've probably been anticipating a lot of things, I won't tell you which one it is just yet. Can't make it too easy for you, now can I? :P

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters that don't belong to me.

…

The Ghost town of Twilight's Edge was on high alert. Most of the town's populace had gathered in the town square, where they listened as Mayor Tonio, Father Yamiri, and the members of Rescue Team Aurabolt explained the situation to them.

"The identity of the villain who has been abducting our friends and family has been revealed," the Mayor boomed. "It was not Yamatorochi as we feared, but a Ditto who intended to use the old serpent's power to consume the spectral DNA of our loved ones so that he could Transform into the Pokemon they were when they were alive."

The crowd gasped at this. "What?!"

"That's horrible!"

"Outrageous!"

"That fiend!"

"And some people call _us_ monsters!"

"We've managed to rout the Ditto from his lair and put a halt to his plans for now…but it's not over yet," Pikachu said.

"That jerkwad cast some evil spell that allowed him to take the 'identity' of our good friend and teammate, Ash!" Leo said. "Causing the _real_ Ash to become a shadow, doomed to fade into nonexistence for some reason!"

"Both Ash and his impostor are missing. If we are to restore Ash to normal and stop the nefarious Ditto once and for all, we need to find them before time runs out and Ash disappears forever," Sasha said.

"Guys, what are you talking about? I'm right here," said Ash, who was standing next to his friends.

"Not only that, but one of our own, the Larvitar Tiny, has gone missing, presumably to search for Ash," Father Yamiri said. "We have no idea where he, Ash, or the Ditto is."

"What do you mean? I'm right here!" Ash yelled.

"That Ditto is still on the loose? Then he could be anywhere! Even right here! He could be one of us and we wouldn't even know it!" a Nuzleaf panicked. The townsPokemon exchanged horrified and paranoid looks and backed away from each other.

"Relax, he's not here," Leo said. "If he were, we'd know about it!"

"We have ways of detecting him, and he is not present at the moment," Sasha said.

"We intend to find him, however," Pikachu said. "We'll search the entire town and the surrounding forest if we have to. We're pretty sure he's still nearby, since everything he needs to fulfill his plans is with us or still up in the old temple, so he can't leave without them. However, that's a lot of ground to cover, and if we're going to find him, Ash, or Tiny in time, we're going to need your help."

"You don't need their help to find me! I'm _right here!_" Ash insisted.

"O-our help? But what good can we do?" asked a startled Gastly.

"Dittos are shapeshifters! They can change into not only any Pokemon, but practically any object, too! How are we supposed to find him?!" a Shuppet cried in agreement. The crowd started murmuring, all of them wondering the same thing.

"Don't worry, we've thought about that already," Sasha said.

"One advantage we have is that the Ditto's shapeshifting skills are limited due to a birth defect. He can only become a perfect copy of a select set of Pokemon, none of whom are Ghosts, which already considerably lowers the numbers of people he could pretend to be," Tonio said. "Any other Pokemon he can turn into is probably either somewhat flawed in appearance or most likely not of a species indigenous to our dark realm. And if he _is_ posing as an indigenous Pokemon, considering that we're a fairly tight-knit community and we all know each other pretty well, we should be able to recognize any unfamiliar strangers at once since they aren't any of our neighbors, right?" The crowd muttered as they considered this, realizing the Mayor had a point. "Well, unless he abducted and ate one of you while we weren't looking and is _posing_ as one of your neighbors. But we're pretty sure he didn't do that…" The Mayor paused when he realized everyone was staring at him in alarm. "Er, I shouldn't have said that, should I?"

"Of course, that knowledge alone won't be enough to find him," Pikachu said, quickly changing the subject. "Which is why we've come up with a surefire method to ID him no matter what form he's in. Leo? Father Yamiri? Would you please explain our plan?"

Leo nodded and held up a capped test tube with a small pink wriggling droplet of slime in it. "Right! Here's how it is: during our fight with the shapechanging twerp, I managed to grab a shred of his biomass one of the times he was in between forms. The reason why I thought to do something like that in the first place isn't really anything you need to concern yourself with."

"In our battle, I discovered that Master Yon's holy prayer slips reacted strongly against the Ditto. His innate wickedness could not stand their purity," Yamiri said, holding up his prayer slips. "Using my knowledge of magic and Leo's surprisingly deep studies of alchemy, we were able to treat a number of the slips using cell samples extracted from the biomass Leo captured. By exposing them to these cells, we have turned the slips into virtual Ditto-detectors. If they are within a few meters of him, no matter what form he has taken, they will begin to glow in response to his evil, with their brightness increasing the closer they are to him."

"What we want all of you to do is split up into small groups for protection, with one slip issued to each search party," Pikachu said. "That way you can cover more ground and use the slip to locate our quarry, and if he attacks you, you'll have strength in numbers and a better chance of defending yourselves. If and when anyone finds him, they should fire an energy attack of some sort into the air to alert everyone else as to their location. We're not recommending you engage him; he's a pretty strong fighter, but if you need to defend yourselves or keep him from escaping, you can use as much force as you want."

"And you don't have to worry about killing him either, Dittos are nearly immortal," Leo said. "Which means you can beat him up as much as you want for all the crap he's been putting this town through, and there'll still be enough left to drag back to the temple."

"I do not mean to sound like a coward, but…why exactly are you asking us to do this?" a Murkrow asked anxiously. "Most of us aren't fighters, or if we were, we gave up that part of ourselves when we came here years ago. We use most of our powers to play pranks on each other and cause mischief these days, not combat. Is it really a good idea to send us out hunting a predator as dangerous as this one, a monster who can assume almost any form and attack us when we least expect it?"

"We're aware that asking you to assist us may put you in real danger," Pikachu admitted. "But right now, we need as much help as we can get, no matter how unsafe it might be."

"Earlier today, you helped us to rescue one of your own from the clutches of the Ditto. All of you worked together with us to save him," Sasha said. "And now we ask you to help us not just to save one—well, two—of our own, but to put a stop to the monster who has been causing you so much suffering over the last few months. Even if you are leery of helping us, can you really turn down a chance to avenge yourselves against the Ditto for all the friends and relatives he has taken from you, and the state of fear he has forced you to exist in ever since he broke the seal on Yamatorochi's cursed bell and caused it to ring its death knells across the land once again?" There were several mutters and a few nods as the townsPokemon considered this, slowly warming up to the idea.

The Mayor nodded. "This is our chance to take back our home and prove to ourselves that we have the strength to survive no matter what difficulties face us in the future. Twilight's Edge is supposed to be a place people can go to to have fun, get a harmless scare or two, and get buried, not a town where we have to constantly fear for our afterlives and get abducted by an insane shapeshifting blob controlling the power of an ancient evil! We have lived under the shadow of Yamatorochi and his legacy for far too long now. After we find this Ditto and bring him to justice, we shall destroy the old temple and shatter that evil bell once and for all, so the memory of that wretched serpent shall haunt us no more!"

"YEAH!" quite a few people shouted, getting revved up.

"But remember, it's not only the Ditto you're out there looking for, but our friends Ash and Tiny, too," Pikachu reminded the townsPokemon.

"Guys, I'm right here!" Ash cried.

"Unfortunately, we can't use the same trick to rig up a tracking device for them since they're both good guys, so Father Yamiri's slips won't react to them," Leo said.

"However, they should still be easy to recognize when you see them. The last time we saw Ash, he looked like a grotesque caricature of a Lucario, and with any luck he still resembles one now. If you spot a Lucario that does not look like a Lucario, that would be Ash. If you see a Lucario that is, undoubtedly, a Lucario, that's the Ditto," Sasha said.

"Grotesque?" Ash glanced down at himself in confusion. "I look normal to me. What are you talking about?! And can't any of you hear me?!"

"As for Tiny, he's a Larvitar," Yamiri said. "And an unusually reticent one, at that. If he sees you, he may run away. He isn't particularly fond of other people."

"So don't try to spook him or grab him or anything like that, just keep a safe distance and send up a signal so we'll know you've found him," Leo said.

"If for whatever reason he runs away, don't chase him so much as follow him from a safe distance," Pikachu advised. "He and Ash have a connection, so by pursuing him he might take you right to Ash, effectively killing…um…resolving two problems at once," he finished, remembering at the last minute that there were a few birds in the crowd who might be offended by the comment he had almost made.

"Guys, you don't need to follow Tiny anywhere—though I am kind of worried about the little guy, he shouldn't be off by himself—I'm right here, you don't need to search for me!" Ash said, getting exasperated.

"Everyone form up into groups and we'll start distributing slips and assigning areas for you to search," Tonio said. "We've got a lot of ground to cover, but there's quite a few of us so we should be able to systematically search the entire forest in a few hours. If the Ditto, Ash, and Tiny are still here, we'll find them."

"And if they're not?" someone asked.

"Then Celestial Heavens help us all," the Mayor said gravely.

"Okay, I don't know what kind of joke you guys are playing, but it's gone too far!" Ash snapped, getting fed up as his friends started handing out slips and continuing to ignore him. "I'm right here! Stop pretending that you can't see or hear me!" They paid no attention to his outburst. He lost his temper. "HEY! I _SAID_-"

Ash grabbed Pikachu's shoulder. Or tried to, anyway. Much to his astonishment, his paw passed right through the mouse's arm as if it wasn't there.

Or as if _Ash_ wasn't there…

The Lucario stiffened. "What?" He tried to touch Pikachu again. Then the rest of his friends. Then the Mayor and Father Yamiri and some of the other Ghosts. It was no use, he kept phasing through their bodies, eliciting no reaction from them whatsoever, even when he passed a hand right through the backs of their heads, something that really freaked him out. No wonder they hadn't seen or heard Ash and still thought he was missing…for some reason, none of them could tell that he was there! "Oh Arceus, I'm dead!" Ash cried in horrified realization after everyone had filed out of the square to start looking for him and Tiny and the Ditto, unaware that he had been in their midst all along. "I must have died when I fell from the belfry…no, wait, if I was dead then I'd be a Ghost and they would be able to see me. But not even the Ghosts seem to notice me! So…if I'm not alive or dead, then what the hell am I?!"

"You are a shadow."

Ash's head shot up as a voice rang in his ears. It was a very familiar voice, too…the voice he was most intimately aware of. It was his own. "You!" he snarled angrily as a Lucario that was the exact mirror image of himself dropped down from a rooftop and confidently strolled over to him. "What did you do to me?!"

The Lucario that was not Ash grinned in a sinister manner that Ash didn't think belonged anywhere on his face. "Like I told your friends, Ashy-boy, I stole your identity."

"Stole my…what the hell does that mean?!" the confused Ash demanded. "Are you talking about stealing my credit card or Rescue Team license or something?"

The Ditto laughed mockingly. "No, no, Ash, not _that_ kind of identity theft. What I mean is that I stole _you_. Your body, your personality, your powers, your memories…everything that was yours now belongs to me."

"Everything that…how is that possible?!" Ash demanded.

The fake Lucario shrugged. "Magic is a wonderful thing, isn't it? And now I have this magnificent Lucario Transformation to add to my collection…I had worried that I'd never find one of your kind. Lucarios are extremely hard to catch these days. I hear your species is going extinct or something. Glad I could run into you and steal your form before your whole species died out, huh?"

Ash snarled angrily. "You!" He charged at his doppelganger in a blind fury, thrusting an Aura-charged fist at his face…

Only for it to pass through harmlessly, just like it had everyone else. "Huh?!"

"Sorry, Ash, that has about as much effect on me as it would on everyone else," the Ditto said, stepping sideways so that Ash's fist was no longer going through his head. "You're a shadow now, and shadows can have no effect on things that really exist."

Ash blinked in confusion. "A shadow? What are you talking about?"

"I've stolen everything you are, remember? Effectively, I am you…while also still being me," the Ditto explained. "'You' are basically an echo. An aftereffect of the identity theft spell. A lingering remnant of the original Ash, doomed to fade away. The longer I remain in your form, the more the universe will become convinced that I'm you…and when it's finally made up its mind that I _am_ you, you will cease to exist completely."

Ash gasped. "No! How do I stop it?!"

The Ditto snorted. "Oh, come on. You really expect me to tell you that?"

"Tell me," Ash growled. "Or so help me I'll-"

"Do what?" the Ditto sneered. "Haven't you noticed by now you have no power? Your attacks are useless. You can't lay a finger on me, or anyone else for that matter. I'm the only one who can see you now, because for all intents and purposes I _am_ you. And that won't last for much longer, because in a few hours, you'll be erased from reality."

"You're not me!" Ash snapped. "Because you're evil, and I'm not!"

"Are you so sure?" the Ditto asked. "Because your memories say otherwise."

Ash started. "My memories?"

"Did you really have to murder that Darkrai and Cresselia, Ash?" the Ditto asked. "Darkrai killed your mother, yeah, but it was an accident. And Cresselia was just an innocent bystander! After the way you brutally killed both of them—hell, the way you massacred those birds, even if they did have it coming—can you honestly say you're a 'good' person deep down?"

Ash blinked. "H-how do you know about those?!"

The Ditto frowned. "Weren't you listening? Everything that was yours is mine, including your memories! And I have to say, there's a lot of fucked-up stuff inside your head. And they call _me_ twisted!"

"My memories…then…do you know what I don't? Do you remember how I came to this world, and what happened to my old one? And…to any of my friends that weren't killed by the birds? Or…or Misty?" Ash demanded.

The Ditto shook his head. "Sorry, but I only know what you did when I snatched your identity. Since you didn't know those things, neither do I. I'm sure I'll figure them out eventually…though I'm not sure if I should bother. I honestly don't care that much about who you used to be, I just want your form for its power."

"But if you have my identity…then how can you possibly still think about using my power for whatever selfish plans you have in store?" Ash asked. "Because that's something that I'd never do! If you're me now…or whatever…how can you do that?"

"Because while I'm you, I'm also still me…and I've never cared about friendship or honor or any of that other crap you're obsessed with. And considering what I've seen so far of some of the things you've started to remember, I'm beginning to wonder just how much _you_ care about that stuff, too," the Ditto said. Ash grimaced. He had been beginning to think the same thing himself…that horrible transformation he had undergone to kill those legendaries, his rather frightening reaction to seeing Oblivion's Shadow...these added up to tell Ash there might be something dangerous inside him, something that should never be unleashed. Maybe the only reason he tried so hard to be a hero was to better hide the darkness within…

"Anyway, have fun disappearing forever while trying futilely to stop me or alerting your friends to your presence," the Ditto said, turning away. "I've got to get out of here before some of those stupid townsPokemon notice I'm about. Lousy magical paper slips…I can't believe that Squirtle made off with a piece of myself when I wasn't looking. I'm going to enjoy eating him alive for that."

"They'll stop you," Ash said. "They're going to find you and make you pay for what you've done. Even with my powers, you can't beat all of them."

The Ditto smirked, conjuring a small Aura Sphere in one paw. "Oh yeah? We'll just have to see about that, won't we? Heads up!" He threw the orb at Ash.

Ash reflexively brought his arms up to defend himself…and needn't have bothered, because the Aura Sphere passed right through him. The Ditto laughed and ran away while Ash was distracted, hopping up the façade of one of the nearby buildings and bounding across the rooftops. "Oh no you don't! Come back here!" Ash ran over to the building and leaped, reaching towards a handhold in the side so he could pull himself up and pursue his copyDelcatty…

Only for him to phase right through the wall, fall through the floor on the other side, and plummet to the ground level of the house. "Dammit," he cursed as he picked himself up and stumbled out of the building, phasing through the wall in the process. "Wait, how come I can walk on the ground just fine without passing through it like everything else? On second thought, maybe I shouldn't be thinking about that…I don't want to fall through to the center of the Earth or something like that…" He glanced around and saw that his rival had gotten away. He frowned and closed his eyes. "Now, where did you go…" Focusing his Aura-sight, he quickly spotted the Ditto's trail, zigzagging across the city to avoid the search parties. "There you are…I may be a shadow that can't affect anything, but I still have some power left…and I'm going to find a way to make you change me back, no matter what I have to do to get it!"

He started chasing after the Ditto in Lucario's clothing, intently following the Aura trail. In the process, he ran right through a number of buildings and several Pokemon, but neither seemed to notice. Ash didn't either, he was too intent on catching up to his foe, though what he would do once he found him he wasn't so sure of yet.

He was so focused on the chase that he almost didn't notice the familiar Aura standing in the middle of the street until it was too late. "Huh? Tiny! There you are!" Ash said delightedly, kneeling down to take a look at the Larvitar, who was wandering around aimlessly with a determined expression on his face. His face fell. "Oh, wait…you can't see me either, can you?"

Tiny started and turned around. His eyes lit up as he saw Ash, and he sucked on his pacifier in delight. The Larvitar waddled over, arms wide to embrace the Lucario…and was understandably perplexed when he walked right through him. Tiny sucked his pacifier in puzzlement, turned around, and tried to hug Ash again…and just wound up passing through once more. He frowned and put his hands on his hips, looking annoyed.

Ash blinked in surprise. "Wait a minute…you can see and hear me?! Of course, it must be because of that Aura bond we have! Even if that jerk stole my identity, he doesn't have my heart…and it's through our hearts that we're connected, or something like that!" Tiny sucked his pacifier. "This is wonderful, if you can see me, then all we have to do is go to the others and you can…tell…them…" Ash's shoulders sagged. "Absolutely nothing, because you don't talk. At all. I don't suppose you'd ease up on your silence shtick to help your caretaker get back to normal?" Tiny stared at him blankly. Ash sighed. "Yeah, that's what I thought you'd say. Or wouldn't. You know what I mean."

He frowned and rubbed his chin while looking at Tiny thoughtfully. "Hmm…now that I've found you, I should probably send you to one of the search teams, it's not safe for you to be wandering about on your own. However, I highly doubt you'd agree to leaving me now that we're together again, would you?" Tiny nodded in agreement. "And aside from that…I could probably use your help. Tiny, I think if we can find that Ditto jerk that did this to me, we might be able to keep me from disappearing, whatever that means. I can track him down easily by following his Aura, but I can't actually do anything once I find him since I'm just a voiceless powerless shadow at the moment. You, on the other hand…you still have some bite. Quite literally, might I add. Normally I'd think twice about asking you to fight my battles for me, but given my current condition and the unlikelihood of you telling the others what's happened to me and leading them to the bad guy, I guess I have no choice but to ask you to make that guy change me back by force. How does that sound to you? Feel like giving your parental figure a hand?"

Tiny nodded. "Great!" Ash said, trying to clap Tiny on the shoulder and only embarrassing himself again. "Now, let's go track down that murderous cannibalistic shapeshifting incredibly dangerous jerk and force him to give back my identity by having you, an infant not even a month old, fight him one on one." He paused, considering this for a moment. "On second thought…I don't suppose we could run past some of the Pokemon out looking for us on our way there and lead them to the Ditto so they could help out, can we?"

Tiny crossed his arms and shook his head. Ash sighed. "Yeah, that's what I thought you'd say. We really need to fix that misPokemonic streak of yours one of these days…"

…

Ash and Tiny set off to find the Ditto, following the faker by the Aura trail he had left behind. Since Tiny couldn't walk through walls like Ash now could, they had to take a somewhat roundabout route through the city to pursue their quarry, who was not restricted to street level like they were. More than once ran into search parties, and Ash tried to maneuver Tiny into their sight to entice them into following the Larvitar right to the faux Lucario, but Tiny always seemed to sense one of the groups of townsPokemon coming ahead of time and hid so well to avoid them that even Ash had trouble finding him without relying on Aura-sight, refusing to budge from his hiding place no matter how much Ash pleaded until the seekers were far away. "Do you really need to keep making this harder than it already is?" Ash asked, getting frustrated. Tiny nodded. Ash grunted. "Why am I not surprised? You're just as stubborn as I am. Of all the traits you had to inherit from me…and I'm not even your biological parent, either!" Tiny shrugged. Sometimes there was more to family and inheritance than genetics and blood ties.

Eventually their hunt took them out of the city proper and into Twilight's Edge's cemetery, a vast necropolis at least half as big as the town itself and always growing as wealthy and desperate Pokemon from out of town paid to be buried in its darkness-enriched soil in hopes of cheating death. The graveyard was so large that half a dozen groups had been sent to search it, and even so it was still so big that the Ditto had easily managed to avoid their detection by moving through treetops and hiding in crypts and open graves, of which there were many thanks to the vampire Jurgen raising so many of the bodies entombed there as zombies. Ash and Tiny were the only ones able to follow the identity thief's trail…and that's exactly what they did, until they ran into an unexpected diversion along the way.

"What the…what's _she_ doing here?" Ash whispered in alarm, reflexively hiding behind a gravestone even though it wasn't necessary since it was doubtful she could see him.

Why was he hiding, you ask? Because only a few dozen meters away was the familiar chain-scarred pointy-hatted figure of Lily the Misdreavus, fiery sorceress and daughter of the wicked ice witch Bellum, floating aimlessly in front of one of the many crypts filling the cemetery. Tiny looked up questioningly at Ash and started to peer out around the side of the grave, but Ash pushed him back (or tried to, anyway). "Tiny, no, don't let her see you! She can't know we're here!"

"Who can't know you're here?" Lily asked.

"That witch, Lily! Though really you're the one who has something to fear, Tiny, since you're the only one of us she'll be able to see. She's the daughter of that nasty Froslass witch Bellum I told you about, the one we ran into in the Mystifying Woods. If she doesn't burn you alive then she'll call her mother, who'll freeze you to death for sure!" Ash hissed anxiously.

"She'd do a lot worse than that, actually," Lily said. "It would be far kinder and more merciful if you let me kill him rather than my mother. At least I would try and make it quick and relatively painless. She tries to draw death out for as long as possible."

"Thanks, I'll keep that in mind," Ash said.

Tiny stared at him incredulously and sucked on his pacifier. Ash blinked, the wheels slowly revolving in his head. Cautiously, he turned around to look at the Misdreavus hovering behind him. "Hello," she said. Ash screamed and fell over backwards, passing through the nearby gravestone in the process. "Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you."

"Tiny, run!" Ash shouted. "Save yourself!" A fearless expression on his face, Tiny shook his head, pulled out his pacifier and started Screeching, his usual response to any dangerous situation.

"Oh, that's a pretty good one," Lily said. "I can do better, though." She opened her mouth and let loose her own Screech, a wail so loud and high-pitched it drowned out Tiny's shout, cracked stone, deafened a few of the Pokemon in nearby search parties, stripped bark from trees, disintegrated some corpses that had been too deteriorated for Jurgen to reanimate, and caused a Hoothoot flying overhead to suffer a sudden heart attack and fall to his death.

"Wow," Ash said. Dazed, Tiny sucked his pacifier in agreement. "Where'd you learn to Screech like that?"

"When you get tortured several times a day every day for the last three hundred years, you pick up a thing or two about screaming," Lily said. She conjured a fireball. "Don't worry, I'll try to make this quick so you don't hurt for long or scream too much."

"Don't!" Ash cried, throwing himself in front of Tiny. "I won't let you!"

"What are you going to do about it? You're a shadow, you have no power in this world," Lily said, unimpressed by his courage.

"Damn!" Ash cursed. "She's right…wait a minute, you can see me?!"

"Yes. Wasn't that obvious?" Lily asked.

"But…but how? I thought nobody could see me! Except for the guy who did this to me, and Tiny, who's connected to my heart through Aura," said the surprised Ash.

"Normal people can't see you, not even most Ghosts," Lily agreed. "But I'm a witch. We have the power to see things that are really there, unlike other Pokemon, who tend to see things that aren't."

Ash gasped. "That's right, you know magic! And if you can see me and know what I am, then…then that means you must know how to change me back, as well!"

"That's true," Lily admitted. "I think there's a thing or two in my spellbook about how to restore identity to someone it's been stolen from."

"That's great!" Ash said excitedly. "Then you can help me!"

"You seem to be forgetting one thing, though," Lily said. "I have no reason to help you. In fact, I think my mother would be very displeased if I did so. After all, you're the Lucario who defeated us back in the Mystifying Woods and humiliated her personally. We have standing orders from Oblivion's Shadow to incapacitate and/or kill you and capture your soul. If it weren't for your current state of nonexistence, I would kill you right now…but I don't need to, since soon enough you will cease to be a problem any longer. I'll just kill the Larvitar instead. Then I'll tell Mother that your friends are here—because you couldn't possibly be here by yourself—and we'll find and kill them and take your map and any Star Badges you might have found since the last time we met, then find some way to capture the last shred of your shadow before it can fade away completely. Oblivion's Shadow will be pleased with us, and Mother will be so happy that she might not beat me for a change! Wouldn't that be nice?"

Ash stiffened in horror. He had been so excited at bumping into someone who not only could see him but might know a way to cure him that he had forgotten for a second that she was an enemy. "N-no! You can't do that!"

"No, I'm pretty sure I can fairly easily. I've killed lots of people in the past. Why should this time be any different?" Lily asked.

"Well, um, because…" Ash's mind raced as he tried to think of an argument that could convince her to help him. He suddenly remembered what Leo had said about Lily after his and Michael's fight with her, and his own impressions of the Misdreavus's Aura. "Because…because you don't like to kill people!"

Lily paused. "What makes you say that?"

"Leo told me! And I can see Auras, and I can tell from looking at yours that, while you've done plenty of bad things in your unlife…you aren't evil, Lily!" Ash said.

Lily stared at him blankly. "…That's impossible. I am my mother's daughter. I have assisted her in performing some of the darkest and most horrible magical rites known to Pokemonkind. I have killed countless people under her orders and condemned their souls to endless torment to fuel my mother's ambitions and fulfill our master's wishes. How can anyone who has committed all the sins that I have possibly not be evil?"

"Because…um…" Ash paused, trying to think of a proper response to this. "Well…you didn't _enjoy_ doing all that stuff, did you? Leo said you don't like killing people."

"I did not enjoy the acts, but I committed them nonetheless," Lily said.

"Did you have a choice in the matter?" Ash asked.

"Certainly," Lily said. "I could either choose to obey my mother and do as she told me, or I could refuse and be tortured horribly. Of course…she usually wound up torturing me for one reason or another anyway…"

"Wow, your mother is really not a nice person, is she?" Ash asked.

"It's taken you this long to figure that out?" said Lily.

"Maybe so, but I don't believe you're like her," Ash insisted. "For one thing, your mother would probably have just attacked right away, not wasted time on chitchat and trying to be somewhat friendly even though you were going to kill Tiny anyway. And even if you did evil things, you did so because she told you to, not because you actually wanted to. I'm not saying that you can just say you were following orders and use that as an excuse, but…but the fact that you felt bad about it afterwards, and probably _wouldn't_ have done it if your mother hadn't pretty much threatened you to, and the fact that your Aura, while tainted, isn't _nearly_ as bad as those of the rest of your family…Lily, to me that all adds up to tell me that, deep down, you aren't really as evil or horrible as you think your are, and that your mother wants you to believe. I think there's a part of you that wants to change, Lily…and I can tell you for a fact that that change is closer and more possible than you might think."

Lily blinked in surprise. "What? You…you believe that one such as I is capable of redemption? Of becoming…a good person?"

"Yes," Ash said. "I do. I've seen it happen before." _Though admittedly Gary probably hadn't done nearly as many bad things as you have, and calling him a 'hero' is still somewhat a laughable concept at times. And he wasn't exactly a very good villain, either. I mean, really, Team _Meanies_? Come on!_ He thought to himself.

"I…" Lily hesitated. A suspicious look formed on her face. "Wait a minute. You're just making all this up to keep me from killing your friend, aren't you?"

"Wh-what? No, of course not!" Ash said desperately, which was not entirely a lie.

"I don't believe you!" Lily snarled. "You're just trying to find another way to control me like Mother and everyone else! You don't want to help me at all!"

"That's not true!" Ash protested. "Lily, I'm the leader of a Rescue Team! Do you know what that means?"

Lily paused. "No. What?"

"It means that it's my _job_ to go around saving people, whether it be from natural disasters, villains, or…well…their own families," Ash said, recalling how he and Pikachu staged an 'intervention' a few months back to rescue a kid from his abusive parents. Said parents hadn't come out of the experience with all their limbs intact. The kid seemed to be all right, though, aside from some psychological trauma, but he was taking therapy for that and seemed okay the last time Ash had spoken to him.

Lily blinked in surprise. "What? You do all that? But…why? What benefit could you possibly get from helping other people?"

Ash smiled. "Do I need a reason to help someone? The good guys don't always need an ulterior motive to do the right thing." He wisely decided not to mention how quite often the Pokemon he rescued gave him some kind of reward out of gratitude, and how he earned points for completing successful missions. That would sort of undermine the point he was trying to make here.

Lily stared at him in astonishment. "That's…incredible. Mother says people like you are sappy, hopeless imbeciles."

"Yeah, I hear that from a lot of other people too sometimes," Ash admitted. "That doesn't mean I'm going to stop doing what I think is right, though. And what I feel is right at the moment is that you leave your horrible family and choose a better life for yourself."

"But…I can't…" Lily said weakly.

"If you really had a choice and weren't so afraid of or bound to your mother, you'd happily choose another lifestyle, wouldn't you?" Ash persisted.

"I don't know any other way than this," Lily said.

"But if you did, and you believed there _was _a chance at a better life, and had the opportunity…would you take it?" Ash asked.

"I…" Lily hesitated. "…Yes…" she whispered faintly.

"Then here's your chance, Lily," Ash said. "Spare Tiny and help me get my identity back, and I'll make you a member of Team Aurabolt. We can protect you from your mother, and we can all work together to stop whatever plans she and Oblivion's Shadow are up to. What do you say?"

She was amazed. "You would let someone like me into your group? Someone who has tried to kill you in the past?"

Ash shrugged. "It wouldn't be the first time."

"I…that's…" She shook, looking conflicted. "That is…an incredibly kind offer. However…however, I have no choice but to decline."

"What?" Ash said in surprise and alarm. "Why?!"

"It's not as simple a choice as you think. If it were as easy as running away, don't you think I'd have done that a long time ago?" Lily asked. "Do you see the scars on my face? They are curse marks, representing where my mother fused enchanted chains with my spectral flesh on the eve of my unbirth. One binds me to her, so that I must always serve her and she can always find me no matter where I go. One binds me to our master, so that my soul is not my own and will be forfeit upon my true death. And one…that is something I dare not speak of."

"Your mother fused chains to your body at birth?!" Ash cried in disbelief. Tiny sucked his pacifier, possibly horrified, but more likely hungry.

"As you said before, my mother is not a very nice person," Lily said quietly.

He frowned. "Your master…Oblivion's Shadow?"

Lily shook her head. "No. Someone far worse than him."

Ash's mind boggled at the concept. "Worse than…but who could…" He gasped. "You don't mean…the thing behind the door under Treasure Town?"

Lily nodded. "One of them, yes."

"One of-" His eyes bulged from their sockets. "_There's_ _more than one thing behind it!?"_

"Oh yes, billions and billions," said Lily. "Our master is one of the most powerful, naturally, and we're helping the Nihilators to open the door because doing so will free our master along with all the other imprisoned evils."

"But that will cause the end of the world!" Ash protested.

Lily sighed. "I know. I'm not happy about that. I mean, I like the world, though I haven't really seen a lot of it. I don't want to destroy it. But what choice do I have? My soul is bound forever to my mother and my master. There is nothing I can do but obey them."

"Isn't there some way to break the curses?" Ash asked.

She gave him a surprised look. "Break them? That is impossible. They are far too strong to be destroyed by any magic that I know of. My mother wanted to make certain that I could never be taken from her."

"What about Aura?" Ash asked, conjuring blue flames in one paw. "Just today I helped break two or three pretty powerful magical seals and barriers using the power of Aura. All I had to do was apply it to weak points in their energy fields. Maybe if I used enough of it on your curses, I could break your chains and free you from Bellum."

Lily's eyes widened in surprise. "You were able to break spells using Aura? I didn't know that was possible. But…no, that would never work. Mother would never leave a weak spot in any of her spells! She's too much of a perfectionist for that!"

"I don't know much about magic," Ash admitted. "But according to _Secrets of an Aura Master,_ everything _has_ to have a weakness. That's just the way things work. That's why locked doors have keys to open them, and there's a chink in every set of armor, and every person has a price, and there's a hole in every security wall--even if it's a small one--and so on. It's some sort of balance thing. If Bellum cast a spell on you, then there has to be a way to remove it, and if I can find the part that's _meant_ to be removed and use Aura on it, maybe I can trigger it prematurely and free you from her control!"

Lily blinked. "That's…actually a rather clever summation of one of the fundamental rules of magic. No matter how strong the curse you cast, or what kind of seal you use to imprison someone, there has to be a way to undo it. For every magical action there must be a possible equal and opposite counteraction. Like you said, balance. You really believe you can find a flaw in my mother's binding curse and exploit it to release me?"

"I can try," Ash said. He closed his eyes and examined her with Aura-sight. At once, he could see the chains, the glow of their magic standing out against Lily's Aura. One had a rather chilly look to it like eternally frozen glacial ice. One looked as if it was devouring light and made of living darkness. And the third…oddly, that one seemed to be made of fire and had more than a passing resemblance to Lily's own Aura. "Yeah…I think I see a weak link in this icy one. That's the chain your mother made, yes? I can tell by how…cold it is."

"Aura has temperature?" asked an interested Lily.

"No, but…it _feels_ cold, if you know what I mean," Ash said.

"Not really, no," said Lily. "This weak link. Can you break it? If you do, that should sever the hold my mother has on me."

"No problem," Ash said, concentrating Aura into his hands and causing his paws to burn with blue flame. "Okay, hold still, this might hurt a little."

"I have a very high pain threshold. I doubt I'll even notice," Lily said.

Ash grimaced. "The fact that you can say that so lightly and with a straight face makes me kind of uncomfortable."

"If I didn't treat it so lightly, I would probably have gone insane ages ago from how utterly horrible my unlife is," Lily whispered, a haunted look in her eyes. "As it is, I've already gone mad a few times anyway. I might not even be coherent enough to talk to you if it weren't for B."

Ash's brow furrowed in puzzlement. "B?"

"Yes, my imaginary friend from another dimension," Lily explained.

"Oh…right," Ash said vaguely. Hadn't Leo mentioned something like that? He wisely decided to leave asking about it for later. "All right. This should just take a second…" Ash jabbed his burning paw forward at the weak link in Bellum's ice chain…

Only for his entire hand to pass right through Lily's head, much to his despair. "Oh no!" he moaned. "I can't even do _that_ properly?!"

Lily sighed miserably. "Oh, this is why I gave up hoping for things a long time ago. Hope is utterly useless and only leads to you being disappointed time and time again. Since you're a shadow, you have no effect on real things, not even curses! I got so caught up in your talk about freedom that I forgot about that. It was stupid of me to think this would turn out any better than my other attempts to leave my mother. I only set myself up for disappointment again."

"Lily, don't talk like that," Ash said. "Come on, we'll think of something-"

"No, we won't," Lily said mournfully. "Because now I'm going to have to kill your friend and tell Mother what's going on, and let you go on with fading from existence. I'm sorry, but there's nothing else I can do. There never was." A pair of large flaming wheels formed on either side of her. "Hold still. This might hurt a little."

Tiny's eyes widened and he sucked his pacifier in alarm. "Run, Tiny!" Ash yelled. Tiny turned and started waddling away at a rather moderate pace.

Lily drew back her wheels, preparing to throw them at the Larvitar…and paused, cocking her head to the side. "Hmm? What's that?" She blinked in surprise. "He _can_? Are you sure? Hold on a second." She dissipated the flames and turned to Ash. "Is it true that your young friend can use Aura?"

Ash blinked and looked at Tiny, who stared back. "Who, Tiny? I don't-" He gasped. That was right, Tiny was Aura-capable! Probably. But how could Lily—or her imaginary friend—have possibly known that? "Um, well…I think he has the _capacity_ to use Aura, he's just never actually, er, demonstrated it. You see, his emotions are all messed up due to a pre-hatching trauma, and it's hard to use Aura if your emotions aren't all straightened out, so I haven't taught him anything or trained with him. At least, not until I can find a way to open his heart and make him more of a regular Pokemon and less of, well…"

"What he is now?" Lily asked.

"Pretty much," Ash said Mareepishly. Tiny sucked his pacifier.

Lily sighed in disappointment. "Oh well. If he can't help me either, then talking to you has been a waste of time. I'll just kill him now and be on my way."

"WAIT!" Ash yelled desperately as Lily conjured another fire wheel and Tiny's eyes bugged out. "Um, j-just because Tiny's heart is walled up and he's never actually practiced before doesn't mean he can't do anything! I hope. I mean, desperate times when their lives are in grave danger can sometimes cause Pokemon to call upon hidden reserves of strength that they didn't even know they had, right?" He looked frantically at Tiny, who gave him an incredulous look back that implied he had no idea what the hell Ash was talking about. Ash wasn't sure he knew, either.

"I don't know…" Lily said doubtfully.

"Just give us a moment, okay?" Ash said. He knelt down next to Tiny, started to put his arm on the Larvitar's shoulder, and thought better of it. "Look," he whispered to Tiny rather nervously. "This isn't exactly how I envisioned us doing it, but I think you're going to have to manifest Aura for the first time. I know it's not the best time, and your heart isn't in the right state for it, and you probably don't even agree with the reason we're doing it…but right now, we don't really have much of a choice here. If you don't tap into the latent abilities I _know_ you have and use Aura to break her curse, she's going to kill you. She'll regret it, but she's going to kill you, and then she'll tell her mother the rest of us are here and they'll kill your Uncle Pikachu and Aunt Sasha and Cousin Leo and they'll take the Star Badge and the map and give them to the Nihilators who'll use them to find the other Star Badges and open the door beneath Treasure Town and destroy the world. Oh, and I'll fade out of existence, assuming they don't find a way to preserve my last remnants and give them to Oblivion's Shadow before I disappear. So. We're all counting on you. No pressure, right?" Tiny gave him an incredulous look.

"I don't think that's helping," Lily said.

Ash sighed and tried a different tack. "Look, Tiny, it's not that hard. You've seen me do it a bunch of times, haven't you? Just…do what I did." Somewhat doubtfully, Tiny closed his eyes and held his hands out in front of him, face screwed up in concentration. "Good. Now…clear your mind. Envision your body as having conduits and lines of energy flowing through it, channeling power through every cell and fiber of your being. Imagine that those channels are connected to other lines flowing through the air, and the land, and every living and unliving thing surrounding us, connecting us all together."

"Even me?" Lily interjected.

"Yes, even you," Ash said, somewhat annoyed by the interruption. "Now, imagine that the energy lines inside your body converge in a core of raw power at the center of your innermost self. This core is your heart. It is the source of Aura's power, and the instrument through which Aura Guardians interact with the Aura of the world around them. Imagine that the power from your heart is flowing out into your body, through your arms, and into the space between your hands.

"Now, don't just imagine that happening. Do it. Make the power manifest in front of you. Accept the gift you were born with and unleash the power of Aura!" Ash said.

Tiny ground his teeth. His muscles clenched up. Sweat rolled down his face. Ash and Lily watched and waited for several minutes as the Larvitar trembled, focusing every fiber of his being and magnificently accomplishing absolutely nothing at all. "It's not working," Lily observed.

"I'm aware of that," Ash replied through gritted teeth. "Come on, Tiny! I know you can do it!" Tiny grunted, but did not, in fact, do it.

"That's not working either," Lily said. She conjured a fireball. "Maybe if I set him on fire, that would give him the proper motivation."

"Lily!" Ash snarled. "That won't do any-" Much to his amazement, a tongue of blue flame formed between Tiny's hands. "Whoa!"

"Ah, I thought that would do the trick. If there's one thing Mother's taught me, it's that fear is an excellent motivator," Lily said.

"Tiny, you've done it! This is incredible!" Ash exulted as Tiny opened his eyes and looked in disbelief at the fire he was generating. "You've channeled Aura for the first time! You have no idea how proud I am of you!" He tried to hug Tiny, with the predictable result. "Dammit." Tiny sucked his pacifier.

"Now that you have developed the ability to use Aura, could you please use it to free me?" Lily asked. "If you do, I promise not to kill you or your friends and I will help the shadow regain his identity."

Tiny looked at her dubiously. "Tiny, I know you hate touching or getting anywhere near other people, but we don't have a lot of choice here," Ash said. "Don't worry, it doesn't have to be for very long. Just touch her in the spot I point out to you, and we can get this over in no time. All right?" The Larvitar nodded reluctantly.

"Where is the weak spot?" Lily asked Ash.

"Float down to Tiny's level, turn around, and raise your hair," Ash commanded. Lily lowered herself and did as she was bade. Ash put a finger on a spot on one of the links in one of the chain-scars marring her body. "This spot here, Tiny. Just touch it with the Aura you've generated and focus all of your power and will into it!" Tiny hesitated, then nodded unhappily and walked over. He stared for a moment at the spot Ash was pointing too, sucked once on his pacifier, drew back an arm, and punched the chain with a blue-burning fist as hard as he could.

There was a brilliant flash of light and a cry of pain and surprise from Lily. Blue flames of Aura enveloped the startled Misdreavus's body as the chain-scar writhed and violently ripped itself out of her flesh, causing tendrils of mist and shadow to leak out of her body in the process. The chain, now no longer just a curse mark but a real fetter of ice so cold that frost formed in the air around it, shimmered as it hit the ground, evaporating into gas that looked a bit like faces wailing in agony as it rose away. Ash winced. The whole thing looked incredibly painful. Tiny quickly withdrew his hand, the Aura fire flickering and extinguishing itself, sucking anxiously on his pacifier.

Lily closed her eyes and moaned as her phantasmal skin knitted itself back together to mend the large gash that had been formed by the chain's removal, her hat falling off as her hair flowed out behind her with a life of its own. "Ohh…._ohhhhhh_!" A wind picked up, and embers and will-o-wisps swirled around Lily. "I'm…I'm free! Free at last!" Laughing gaily she spiraled up in the air, her silhouette passing over the moon as fireballs flew all over the place. Ash reflexively ducked under one, even though there wasn't actually any need for him to do so.

"You know, I'm starting to wonder if I should have thought this out a bit more," Ash commented as Tiny gave him an accusatory look. "Maybe Pikachu's right about me being a bit too impulsive…"

Laughter fading as she calmed down, Lily flew back down to Ash and Tiny. "Thank you…thank you so much! You have no idea how much this means to me. I've dreamed of freedom for years, my hopes nurtured by B no matter how much my mother tried to quash them, but I never thought…not once did I actually _believe_…oh, thank you, thank you both! You have made an ally of me for eternity. I promise to serve you faithfully from now on and be a good and true member of your 'Rescue Team!'"

"Um, thanks," Ash said, relieved that by freeing Lily he hadn't doomed the world or anything like that. "But I don't want you to be my servant, Lily. We're friends now, and that's the way it should be."

Lily blinked. "We are friends? Then…in that case, you and the Larvitar are my very first friends aside from B. I don't know much about 'friendship,' though, so you will have to tell me as we go along if I am doing it correctly."

"No problem," said Ash. "Happy to have you on board, Lily! I'd shake your hand, but you don't have any, and I'd just pass through it anyway even if you had one."

He jumped when suddenly he heard a long, high wail emanating from inside the tomb Lily had been guarding. "Whoa! What was that?!"

Lily gasped. "That's Mother! She must have sensed I've managed to slip free from her control. Quickly, we must get out of here before she finds us!" Strands of her hair elongated and stretched out in front of her, converging in empty space and pulling at…_something_…tearing open what literally seemed to be a hole in the air, on the other side of which was a dark forest.

"You can open portals?!" asked an astonished Ash.

"Well of course, how else do you think we witches get around? All the elemental bursts we throw up when we appear or disappear are just for visual effect. All great magicians love to show off a little," Lily said. "Hurry, go through, she'll be here any second!"

"Okay. Tiny, follow me!" Ash said, jumping through the portal. Tiny only hesitated a fraction of a second before leaping in after him. Lily grabbed her hat off the ground and quickly followed her two new friends, the rift in reality sealing behind them.

Mere milliseconds later, the door to the Yukihime crypt exploded open in a flurry of ice and snow. "LILY!" Bellum roared furiously as she glided out, the air crystallizing around her. "Where are you?! How did you break my binding chain?! How DARE you defy me and try to escape?! I thought that I had beaten that out of you by now! You will suffer for this, daughter! LILY! Show yourself at once, or I can't be held responsible for what I will do to you!" Naturally, her errant daughter did not reply. Would you have?

"Bzzzbzbzbzzz?" Marianne queried as she followed her mother out.

"I don't understand…how is this possible? How could she have escaped?!" Bellum ranted furiously. "There is no way she could have broken that spell by herself! But then how…" She snarled and shook her head. "That is irrelevant. I will extract the details of how she escaped through excruciating means once I find that foolish girl. The tortures she has suffered in the past will be a summer breeze compared to what I will inflict on…eh? What was that?"

"Bzz?" Marianne asked, looking around in confusion.

Bellum frowned. "You do not sense that? Something…interesting has just appeared. Hmm. This bears looking into. And yet…Lily's actions cannot go unpunished…Marianne! There is something I must attend to. Go find your sister while I'm gone. When you find her, feel free to hurt her as much as you like, just make sure she's still coherent enough to talk when _I'm_ ready to deal with her."

"Bzbzbzzzzbzbzbz!" Marianne buzzed sinisterly. She hovered away.

"What a good girl. A pity Lily can't be more like her," Bellum commented fondly. She narrowed her eyes. "Now…time to deal with this. It's not a runaway daughter, but it's still a matter of great interest if I do say so myself, mwhehehehe."

She glided off, snow falling in her wake.

…

Elsewhere in Dusk Forest…

Somewhere deep in the dark forest, a portal opened, depositing Ash, Tiny, and Lily in a wooded clearing before promptly shutting again. "Where are we?" Ash asked, glancing around. "It looks like we're somewhere in the woods outside of Twilight's Edge."

"We are," Lily said. "However, we're not out of danger yet. Just a second." She pulled off her hat and reached into it with strands of her apparently prehensile hair. She rummaged through it for a moment before pulling out a very large and rather ancient tome, which she cracked open in front of her as she used other hairs to put her hat back on. "Okay, where is…cloaking spell, cloaking spell, cloaking spell…aha! Here we are." She chanted several phrases in a language Ash didn't understand in the slightest in an echoing tone of voice that would have reverberated through his bones if he had possessed any at that moment and caused Tiny to hiccup.

"What was that?" Ash asked once Lily finished chanting.

"A cloaking spell I cast to keep Mother or Marianne from using any magical methods to find us," Lily explained. "It may seem like a pretty simple spell, but Mother's _very_ good at locating what she wants to, so it's a good thing I've seen her scry enough times to know how to block it."

"Heh, no wonder she's been keeping you on such a tight leash, what with the knowledge you must have of her techniques by now. You probably pose a real threat to her now that you're on the loose," Ash observed.

Lily flushed. "Oh no, I could never defeat Mother! She's far too skilled a sorceress. Even though I have power over Fire, her Ice magic is still several orders stronger than mine."

"That may be true, but you still have a more intimate knowledge of her abilities and motives than we do," Ash said excitedly. "I bet you know all her plans too, right? And what she's up to with the Nihilators?"

Lily hesitated. "Um…well…not so much, no."

Ash blinked. "Huh? What do you mean?"

"Well, I know that Mother is helping the Nihilators find the Star Badges to open the Door because our Master is somewhere behind it," Lily explained. "But I don't know why exactly the Nihilators are trying to open the Door or what _they're_ looking for on the other side, because I'm not sure it's our Master. It could be something even worse…"

"Oh…" Ash said, looking disappointed. "Then…does that mean you don't know where the Nihilators' hideout is? Or who Oblivion's Shadow really is?"

"No. I'm sorry," Lily said quietly, looking very timid and afraid. "She never trusted me with important information like that. She said I didn't deserve to know it."

Ash sighed. "Oh well…I should have known it wouldn't be this easy. Never mind, it's no big deal. We'll figure it out sooner or later."

Lily gave him a surprised look. "You aren't angry?"

"Angry? Why would I be?" asked a puzzled Ash.

"Mother is always furious when I don't know the answer to a question," Lily said.

"Yeah, well I'm not your mother," Ash said. "I don't hold your lack of knowledge against you. I should have figured that your mom, being the horrible person she is, wouldn't have told you something important like that." He frowned. "Speaking of which, considering how you've described her so far, I'm surprised she even let you have that spellbook over there."

Lily flushed. "What, this? She didn't give this to me. I sort of, um, stole it from her library when she wasn't looking. I didn't want to, because I knew Mother would be furious when she found out, but B told me to! She said it would come in handy."

"Somehow I think she was right," Ash said. "I've really got to get around to meeting this friend of yours someday."

"That may be difficult, since she lives in another dimension," Lily said. "Or inside my head. Possibly both. They're not necessarily mutually exclusive."

"Right," Ash said, deciding to gloss over that confusing piece of information. He frowned, noticing that Lily still had two curse marks on her body. "Hmm…want Tiny to take care of those other chains for you? Now that one's gone I'm sure you wouldn't mind dumping the other two as well." Tiny glared at Ash, annoyed that he kept getting volunteered for things he didn't really want to do.

"Oh, no! You can't do that!" Lily said in alarm.

Ash frowned in puzzlement while Tiny breathed a silent sigh of relief. "No? Why not?"

"One of them is a seal I placed on myself, and I dare not release it under any circumstances. The other one was placed on me by Mother's master, to bind my soul forever…and only a bond stronger than that can remove it," Lily explained.

Ash frowned. "A bond stronger than that…what do you mean?"

"I'm not really sure," Lily admitted. "According to magical theory, there are powerful strands of energy that bind everything together. These strands can sometimes represent a particular relationship between two or more people. The type of relationship determines the strength and priority of the connection over others that may exist between people. For instance, my bond to our Master is stronger than the bond to my mother, which is why it's not so easily broken. The only way to break it would be to replace it with a bond of even higher priority…and I can't really think of one greater than that of god and slave."

"Hmm…I'll have to look into that," Ash commented. "There must be something…why did you put a curse on yourself, though?"

"I was brought into this world in an attempt to release our Master from imprisonment, utilizing a rare stellar alignment and crack between dimensions to channel energy through into our Master's jail using my body as a conduit," Lily explained. "The ceremony went awry, preventing our Master from being freed, but a significant amount of the magical power gathered during the ritual still rests within me. I cannot access that power until I evolve, however…but thanks to the bond connecting me to our Master, my soul is forfeit when that occurs, and I will be instantly transported to the Master's prison upon evolution, where the ceremony will be completed and the power within me will be used to unleash a great evil upon the worlds. B convinced me to lay a curse on myself to seal that power within me so that I could never evolve and the Master remains caged. Mother has convinced herself that I did it by accident, and it serves as yet another reason for her to hate and torment me, since she has been unable to break that curse no matter how hard she tries...nor will she ever, because only I can release the seal. Sometimes I wonder if she's right to despise me. I'm such a disappointment and hindrance to her…"

"What? You can't mean that!" said the surprised Ash. "She's a horrible mother who's been abusing and torturing you all your unlife and plans to destroy the world! Why would you want to satisfy her?"

"I don't expect you to understand," Lily said. "All the things you said about her are true. She is a cruel and heartless Pokemon who will stop at nothing to get what she desires. I hate her for what she has done to me and to others. But, even knowing all that…" She shrugged. "She's still my mother, and the only parent I've ever known."

"…Huh. I think I understand," said Ash.

"Really?" Lily asked, looking surprised.

"No, not really," Ash admitted, causing her and Tiny to facefault. "But I sort of see where you're coming from. This kid Pikachu and I rescued from abusive parents a few months ago took a while to realize that all the crap they put him through wasn't his fault and that it was perfectly all right for us to beat the shit out of them. You know that all the bad stuff your mom says about you deserving the punishment she gives you isn't true, right?"

"There are times I've thought it was," Lily admitted. "But B refused to let me think that way. In all the centuries I've been with Mother, B's the only person who believed that I wasn't worthless. That is…until you, anyway."

"She sounds like a good friend," Ash said. _Even if I'm not entirely sure she exists._

"She is," Lily agreed. "Even if I'm not entirely sure she exists." Ash blinked. Tiny sucked on his pacifier.

"So…anyway, now that you're free, uh…any ideas on how to turn me back to normal?" Ash asked, changing the subject.

Lily blinked. "Huh? Oh! I almost forgot! That's right, I promised to help you!" She cracked open her spellbook again and flipped through the pages. "There are many ways to steal a person's identity, and if I'm to get it back, I need to know exactly how it was taken from you. What happened to make you like this?"

"Well…have you heard the legend of Yamatorochi?" Ash briefly explained the reason they had come to Twilight's Edge, the adventures they had had since arriving, and the fateful encounter with the Ditto atop the ancient temple, along with his transformation into a shadow at the pseudopods of the wicked shapeshifter.

"Hmm…I see. So that's how you became like this…" Lily said once he was finished.

"Do you know how to change me back to normal?" Ash asked.

"Well…" Lily examined her book for a moment. "I believe so. It should be fairly simple, actually. All we need to do is get you, the Ditto, and the Star Badge back into the mandala on top of the temple. Once there, I just have to chant this spell here-" She turned the book to face Ash and indicated a passage on the page it was open to. Ash couldn't read it, but he assumed it was important. "And the Ditto will lose its grip on your form, allowing you to become yourself again, no longer a shadow doomed to oblivion."

"That's great!" Ash said excitedly.

"There's just one other thing I need. A trifle, really," Lily said. "I need your name and that of the Ditto."

Ash frowned. "My name? Don't you already know it?"

"I'm not sure. If I did at one point, Mother's beatings might have knocked it out of my memory," the Misdreavus said. "That happens sometimes."

"Ah," Ash said, deciding not to comment. "Well, that's easy. My name is …."

Lily frowned. "What was that?"

Ash blinked. "Huh? I just said my name is …. What the…why can't I say my name?!"

"Hmm…I suppose that since the Ditto has stolen your identity, he must have taken your name too," Lily theorized.

"What? But that's crazy! I still know my name, it's …. Dammit!" Ash cursed.

"You know it, but that doesn't mean you can say it," Lily said sadly. "Oh dear. This could be a problem."

"Um…hold on, I'll just write it," Ash said, bending over to write in the dirt. Naturally, his finger passed right through the ground. "Oh for the love of…Tiny! You can write my name, can't you?" He paused. "Or…I forget, have we taught you how to write yet?" Tiny shrugged. "Arceusdammit."

"Um…could we ask your friends?" Lily asked uncertainly.

"We could…" Ash said reluctantly. "But until we have everything we need to stop that Ditto, I'm not sure I want to deal with them in my current condition unless I really have to. It's kind of embarrassing. Plus, I'm not sure they'd trust you if you showed up out of the blue saying that you could see and hear me and knew how to change me back, especially since you've tried to kill us in the past."

"Sorry about that," she said quietly.

"It's okay. These things happen," Ash said. "Okay, there has to be something…let's see…aha! I can't say my name, but you can, right?"

"Yes, but I don't know your name," Lily pointed out.

"But maybe I can help you figure it out for yourself," Ash said. "It should be pretty simple. I can't say my name, but maybe I can say something related to it?"

"That could work," Lily agreed.

"Okay. My name is…something left behind when something's been burned," Ash said.

Lily perked up. "Oh, I know all about that, what with my affinity for fire! Let's see. Your name is…cinder?"

"Ah, no," said Ash.

"Ember?" Lily tried again.

"No," said Ash.

"Smoke?" Lily suggested.

"No," said Ash.

"A charred corpse?" Lily guessed.

"No!" Ash snapped. She cringed, and he instantly regretted it. "Sorry. No, that's not it either. Let's see…oh! I _think_ my name is also a kind of tree. I heard that somewhere."

Lily pondered that for a moment. "Your name is what's left behind when something is burned as well as a tree? Hmm. Then…is your name Ash?"

"Yes, that's it exactly!" Ash cried. "Good job!" Tiny grudgingly applauded.

Lily started. "I…I did a good job? Really? Th-thank you…" She was overwhelmed with emotion. This was the first time anyone had ever congratulated her for doing something before. Except for B, that is, and it was hard to say if she counted most days. "Now we just need the Ditto's name."

"Okay. Why is that again?" Ash asked.

"Names are important in magic," Lily explained. "Since it's a transfer of identities we're concerning ourselves with here, it's vital to know the true names of those who are involved in the spell."

"Oh," Ash said. "That makes sense."

"So…the Ditto's name?" Lily asked.

Ash nodded. "Right! It's…it's…" His face went pale. "Oh crap."

"What?" Lily asked in concern.

"I just realized…he never told us what it was!" Ash said in alarm.

"Hmm…that's unfortunate, but not completely unexpected," Lily commented. "He probably withheld it so, in the event that you defeated him—which you did—you would be unable to use his name against him, like we're trying to now."

Ash ground his teeth and rubbed his head furiously. "I feel like I _should_ know his name for some reason—he sort of reminds me of someone I think I once knew—but I just can't recall it, no matter how hard I try."

Lily nodded in understanding. "Yeah, the same thing happened to me when I was memorizing spells back when I was first learning magic."

"How did you get through it?" Ash asked.

"Well, Mother-" Lily started.

"On second thought, I'm not sure I want to know," Ash said.

Lily nodded. "A wise decision. I doubt I could use the method she did to force me to remember things anyway. For one thing, I can't touch you, and for another thing, your skin would get in the way. How do you mortals deal with having flesh and blood, anyway? It's always seemed so…messy and inconvenient. Especially the way it spills all over the floor when you get cut open."

Ash blanched. "That's…not really an image I needed to think about. Most of us have never known any other way, so we don't really think too much about it. Sort of how evil's all _you've_ ever known, and you're having trouble getting used to being around people that are actually good."

"I suppose," Lily admitted. "Well, if you don't know the Ditto's name, then we have a problem. I can't change you back without it."

"Well, I was chasing him before I ran into you," Ash suggested. "Maybe if we caught up to him we could force him to tell us his name?"

"Oh, that could work. Mother's always been fond of torture as a method of gathering information," Lily agreed.

Ash grimaced. "Um, that's not exactly what I meant. We're the good guys, Lily. Torture's not our thing."

She blinked. "Really? Well, I suppose that's a good thing, because I don't believe there are many ways we could really torture a Ditto, anyway. They're so resilient, after all. There's no way we could get his name out of him before your time runs out."

"Then why did you suggest…never mind. We're going to need to find him anyway if we're going to reverse what he's done to me, but if you don't think we can just make him _tell_ us his name…is there any other way we can get it? Maybe if we went back to the temple and poked around a bit? The Ghosts he captured didn't know who he was, but maybe he left his name lying around somewhere on one of his things in the belfry."

Lily shook her head. "Doubtful. Serious magical practitioners don't leave their names just lying around where anyone could find them and use them against them. That's also why most of us come up with false names for use in interaction with other people, to make it harder for spells and curses to be cast on us."

"Oh, then does that mean your name isn't actually Lily?" Ash asked.

"Er…no, that's my real name," Lily said Mareepishly. "Mother didn't give me any other names because she wanted to make it easier to control me."

Ash sighed. "Of course she did…are you positive his name wouldn't be somewhere in the temple? What about in the mandala? You said using names is important in magic. Could he have written his into the spell so that it would work on him?"

"That's a good thought, but I'm afraid you yourself have already disproved that possibility," Lily said.

Ash blinked. "I have? How?"

"By getting turned into a shadow," Lily said. "You said that he was able to use the power of the mandala and the Star Badge to steal your identity. If the mandala had only been intended to work on him, it wouldn't have had any effect on you. The fact that it was able to transform the both of you indicates that a limitation on who could use it was not written into the spell's basic coding. I'd need to take a look at it to be sure, but it sounds to me like he probably constructed it in such a way that it transferred the DNA of the captured Ghosts into whoever stood inside the mandala when it was activated…and simply intended for that person to be himself and no other."

"Damn…that makes sense. The guy's smarter than we gave him credit for," Ash grunted. "So…what do we do, then? If chasing after the guy or investigating his lair won't get us the name we need, how can we change me back to normal?"

"Well, like you said, we're going to need to go after him sooner or later, but since it's doubtful we'll be able to force him to give up his name in the few scant hours we have before you're erased from existence, we're going to need a quicker method," Lily said.

"Such as…?" Ash prompted.

"Let's see…" Lily glanced around. "This forest is sacred to Darkrai and those who serve him and have his protection, so…aha!" She flew over to a nearby tree and picked a small red fruit that sort of resembled an apple from its branches. "A Leppa Berry! I thought there'd be a few growing around here!"

"A berry?" Ash asked in confusion. "How's that going to help us?" Tiny sucked his pacifier, sharing Ash's confusion.

"It's not the berry itself that's going to help…it's what we're going to _catch_ with it," Lily said, a sinister expression more than a little like her mother's forming on her face. It gave Ash the willies.

…

A little later…

"Remind me how this is going to work again?" Ash whispered. He, Lily, and Tiny were hiding in the bushes looking at the Leppa Berry, which Lily had placed on the forest floor in the middle of a runic spell-circle. Tiny was eating some of the bush's leaves because he was hungry, but they weren't very palatable to his carnivorous stomach. It wasn't like there was much else for him to eat, though, since Ash had scolded him when he'd tried to munch on the Leppa berry when he thought nobody had been looking.

"You know of Clefairy, who are beings of intense magical power which live on the Moon, correct?" Lily asked.

Ash nodded. "Yeah, I've run into a few."

"Because they dwell on the Moon, Clefairies are servants of Cresselia, the Moon goddess," Lily explained. "However, Cresselia is not the only Moon deity. Her husband, Darkrai, governs the dark side of the Moon, the one which never faces the Sun."

Ash blinked. "Wait, Darkrai's a moon god too? But he's already master of Death, Darkness, and Dire Dreams (by which I mean nightmares)! Isn't that an awful lot for one god to do?"

"He delegates, mostly," Lily said. "Or handles things everywhere simultaneously using omnipresence. He didn't used to have all those jobs, but the longer a god sticks around, the more titles and responsibilities he picks up. It's actually one of the major sticking points in his marriage with Cresselia. She thinks he's using his workload as an excuse to ignore her. He feels that since she has far fewer duties she doesn't understand the heavier burden he has to carry and how it eats up more of his personal time than he'd like. They've always been a couple that likes to bicker, but this is the topic that gets either of them _really_ incensed, enough to the point where they actually fight each other. Very violently. And then they have equally violent make-up sex afterwards."

Ash stared at her blankly. "That's…way more than I really needed to know. How do you know all that, anyway? Common witch lore?"

"No, B told me," Lily said. "She gossips about stuff like this all the time, which is part of the reason I'm not entirely sure she exists. Stuff as crazy as this _has_ to be made up, doesn't it?"

Ash thought back to what Father Yamiri and Master Yon had said about Darkrai and Cresselia. "Not necessarily…so, what does this have to do with Clefairies?"

"Since Cresselia has Clefairy servants, so does Darkrai," Lily explained. "Since he's the god of darkness, his servants are dark as well. So they're sort of 'Dark' Clefairies."

"Makes sense," said Ash.

"When Darkrai created Dusk Forest, a number of Dark Clefairy who were curious about life on Earth migrated here to make the woods their home," Lily continued. "They are magical creatures of a higher order than Ghost Pokemon and the other mortals that dwell in this forest, so they rarely interact with other people. Even so, they are aware of just about everything that happens in this dark realm, and because of their nature as envoys from the realm of dreams, they are privy to many secrets hidden in the minds of the Pokemon here that nobody else knows."

"And would one of these secrets happen to be the name of the Ditto we're looking for?" Ash asked, seeing where this was going.

"That is what I hope to find out," Lily said.

"Okay. So we're looking for a Dark Clefairy to tell us the Ditto's name. What's the berry and the circle for, then?" Ash asked.

"You can't just go around looking for Dark Clefairies. Like I said, they keep to themselves, and can hide their village from the prying eyes of others, even witches like myself. However, they are fond of Leppa Berries, and magical practitioners who seek the knowledge they possess can lure Dark Clefairies into trap spells like the one I cast, where they will be imprisoned until they answer whatever their captor asks of them," Lily said.

Ash frowned. "We're going to trap a powerful mystical being to force it to answer our questions? I don't quite like the sound of this."

"Don't worry, Dark Clefairies are used to this sort of thing. Creatures like them get summoned all the time to answer the questions of seekers of knowledge. And considering who they serve, the magicians who catch them usually let them go once they're done with them, because those who don't…well, really bad nightmares become the least of their concerns." Lily grimaced. "Not that that's ever stopped Mother…"

"She's caught Dark Clefairies? Doesn't surprise me," Ash said with a sigh. "What did she do with them?"

"You don't want to know," Lily said quietly.

"Will you being her daughter make the Dark Clefairies wary to talk to us?" Ash asked.

"I hope not," Lily said.

Ash grunted and left it at that. "What makes you so sure they'll fall for our trap?"

"They always do. Like I said…they love Leppa Berries," Lily said.

"Well, I hope one shows up soon, because I _really_ can't afford to sit here for several hours waiting for one to walk by and-" Ash started.

Tiny pulled out his pacifier and made a shushing noise. Ash blinked. "Huh? What-" Tiny pointed at the clearing. Someone was standing in it. Ash quickly silenced himself.

The someone was a Clefairy, but not like any of the Clefairies Ash had seen before. This one had dark purple fur, red eyes, long eyelashes, sharp fangs, tiny horn nubs, and small wings that looked vaguely like a Zubat's. There were also a few spikes on her long curled-up tail. "Hmm," the Dark Clefairy said in a dark, sultry voice that you wouldn't expect to hear from most Clefairies. "What do we have here? A Leppa Berry, sitting out in the open where a discerning Pokemon like me could come by and eat it? How very convenient. Why, I think I'll just walk over and help myself to it…oh, but wait, what's this? Is that a trap spell I see drawn on the ground around it? As I live and breathe, it looks as if some mage set out to trap a little ol' dark fairy like myself and thought I'd be so overcome with desire for the Leppa Berry I wouldn't notice such an obvious trick. Really, how stupid do they think I am? Hmmph, like I'd let myself get caught like that just because they're using my favorite snack as bait? Honestly, I've seen much better traps than this one. I'm almost insulted, really, that they think I could be snared so easily. And besides, I'm on a diet anyway; those Leppa Berries go right to my hips. I couldn't stop to eat one even if I wanted to. Oh well, better luck next time, whoever's watching me from the bushes." She sauntered off.

"It didn't work," Ash said in disappointment.

Lily shushed him. "Wait for it…"

A few moments later, the Dark Clefairy hesitantly reentered the clearing. "Then again…I suppose _one_ couldn't hurt…and it's not like I couldn't escape from such a pitiful trap like that anyway whenever I wanted to…hmm…" She twiddled her claws for a moment, looking uncertain. Then she sighed, giving in. "Oh, who am I kidding? Gimme that Leppa Berry!" She lunged into the circle, grabbed the berry, and crammed it into her mouth, chewing loudly and getting juice all over her face and hands as she eagerly consumed the precious fruit. "Oh…_ohhhh_…it's been too long. What was I thinking, denying myself such delights as this? I want more. More! _More_! More Leppa Berries!"

Ash sweatdropped. "Wow. It didn't take much to knock her off the wagon."

"It worked like a charm," Lily said happily. "They _always_ fall for it. They can't help themselves, really. They're obsessed with Leppas."

"Why?" asked Ash.

"It temporarily boosts their magical powers, as well as their sexual-" Lily started.

"Okay, let's go talk to her," Ash interrupted loudly before he could hear more than he really cared to, getting up and walking into the clearing, followed closely by Tiny. Lily shrugged and joined them.

"Ah, there you are. Thanks for not keeping me waiting," the Dark Clefairy said, licking the last of the juice off her lips and fingers. She took out a cigarette. "Got a light?"

"Sure," Lily said, obligingly creating a small fireball to ignite the cigarette.

"Thanks," the Dark Clefairy said, taking a long drag.

"Aren't those bad for you?" Ash asked.

"Not for me, honey," the Dark Clefairy said, blowing out some smoke. "Right. You know the drill. Now that you've caught me, you can ask me some questions, and then you have to let me go. Try to hang onto me against my will and you'll regret it." She paused, and then looked at Ash appraisingly. "If you want knowledge of a…_different_ sort, that'll cost you some more Leppa Berries." Ash flushed, deciding not to think too hard about that. Wait, how could she see him, anyway?

"Dark one, we humbly request your assistance in a grave matter," Lily said politely. "You possess information we require to restore my…friend here to his original form." She marveled briefly that she had been able to refer to Ash as a friend. It gave her a strange and unfamiliar—but not unwelcome—feeling.

"Ah, so you're the guy who got turned into a shadow. Nice to meet you, darling," the Dark Clefairy said to Ash.

"You know about that? And can see me?" Ash asked in surprise.

"Well, of course, honey, I'm a magical creature. We know just about everything that goes on in this land," the Dark Clefairy said, inhaling on her cigarette. "Which is how I know that you killed my master in a past life, which is no small feat."

Lily started. "You killed Darkrai?!"

"Um, yeah. It's a long story," Ash said Mareepishly. "Basically, I used to be a human, but got turned into a Pokemon, and I don't really remember much about how that happened my past life. Except that apparently my original world was destroyed. And, as the fairy said, I killed Darkrai. And some other legendaries."

"Oh my…" Lily said.

"I didn't mean to!" Ash insisted. "It's…I'm not sure _what_ happened, actually. I haven't really dwelled much on it. I'm not sure I want to at the moment…um, is the fact that I sort of accidentally killed your boss in the past going to affect our business?" he asked the Dark Clefairy.

The fairy shrugged and breathed out some more smoke. "Eh, it's no big deal. He got better, after all."

"I don't suppose you'd know how I managed to kill him, or what else happened to me in the past, do you?" Ash asked.

The Dark Clefairy hesitated. "That's…restricted information, darling. I'd get in big trouble if I told you, and no amount of Leppa berries you could offer me would get me to loosen my lips on that topic. If I were you, though, I'd stop trying to find out what happened. Some memories are too painful, and stay forgotten for a reason." Ash grimaced, not liking the gist of that. The fact that a servant of the master of nightmares felt uncomfortable talking about his past did not make Ash feel particularly secure in his self-concept. What kind of person had he been as a human, really?

"If you can't tell him that," Lily said, reminding herself to ask Ash more about this subject later. "Then could you tell us something more relevant to the problem at hand? As you can see, Ash is slowly fading from reality. To save him, we need to know the name of the Ditto who did this to him, so I can reverse the spell."

The Dark Clefairy frowned. "Now _that_ I have no problem telling you. That asshole's been causing trouble in this place for far too long. Just last month he tried eating one of my sisters! I'd be happy to give you what you need to take him down."

Ash frowned. "Why didn't you take care of him yourselves?"

She shrugged and took another drag. "Not our job, honey. That's what brave strapping heroes like you are for. There's a prophecy or something. We can't interfere directly. However, I have no problem telling you his name. He's called Brodie. Brodie Imite."

Ash's eyes widened, having a sudden flash of recollection. "Brodie…" He knew that name! It was the same name as the man he'd had a flashback of when he first met the Ditto…except he hadn't remembered the name until just that moment. How annoying. If he had recalled it sooner, they might have been able to avoid all this.

"Brodie, huh? Thank you very much. That was a big help," Lily said. She hesitated. "And, um…I'm sorry for all of your sisters that my Mother killed."

"You should be," the Dark Clefairy grunted. "Mon, that Bellum's a grade-A bitch. We'd probably have taken her out by now if she weren't so freaking powerful."

"We'll try and take care of her for you, then," Ash offered.

"She's had it coming for a long time. Thanks, honey," the Dark Clefairy said. "Anything else you want to know?"

"Well, now that we know the Ditto's name, we still need to find him so we can reverse the spell he cast on Ash," Lily said. "Can you tell us where we can find him?"

"I could…however, I'm not sure that's the best idea," the Dark Clefairy warned them.

"Why not?" Ash asked.

"For one thing, once you found Brodie, you'd need to somehow subdue and/or lure him back to where the original spell was cast, which, considering that he's a Ditto, could take a really long time. Time you don't have," the Dark Clefairy said.

Lily frowned. "Hmm…that's right, I'm not sure we'd be able to do it in the scant few hours Ash has left before he disappears."

"Not only that, but your sister's prowling about near where the Ditto's hiding, looking for you," the Dark Clefairy continued.

"Marianne?!" Lily cried in alarm. "Oh no…I'm not sure I could beat her."

"And even if you could, you'd still need to find and beat Brodie right after, which, like I said before, you don't have time to do," the Dark Clefairy said.

"Then how're we supposed to get him where we need to in order to change me back?!" Ash asked in exasperation, losing his patience.

The Dark Clefairy shrugged. "Dunno. Don't you have friends and Pokemon looking for him or something? Maybe they could help."

Ash blinked. "My friends? Oh yeah! They could help, couldn't they?"

"Are you sure?" Lily asked anxiously. "I'm…not entirely looking forward to meeting them. I don't think they'll welcome me to the team as quickly as you have. You said as much yourself."

"Maybe not, but we were going to need to deal with them sooner or later," Ash pointed out reluctantly. "Considering that they have the Star Badge we also need to reverse the spell. We might as well get it out of the way now and see if they can help us track down Brodie, too, as humiliating as it may be personally for me to try and deal with them like this. Since they can't see or hear me, you'll have to serve as my interpreter."

"Will they even let me come close enough to hear me out?" Lily asked doubtfully.

"Normally, they might not…but when they see Tiny with you they will," Ash said, glancing down at Tiny. "Isn't that right, Tiny?" Tiny sulked and sucked his pacifier.

Lily frowned. "What does he have to do with anything?"

"Tiny hates everyone who isn't me and screams if anyone else tries to get near him. If they see you with him—not screaming—then they'll figure I must be around somehow and everything's all right," Ash explained.

"Oh," Lily said uncertainly. She wasn't sure she understood, but she supposed Ash knew what he was doing, since he knew his friends better than she did.

She hoped they didn't hate her…

"Well, now that you've got that all settled, can I go now?" the Dark Clefairy asked, finishing her cigarette and tossing it to the ground.

"That's littering," Ash said automatically.

She gave him a long, bored look. "Why yes, darling. Yes it is."

"Thank you for answering our questions. You're free to go," Lily said, extending a hair tendril and rubbing out one of the runes on the circle.

"No problem, hon. Come back anytime, you're much more interesting to talk to than your mother," the Dark Clefairy said as she hopped out of the circle. "Oh, and someone give the kid a hug later, he's just so adorable with that pouty grouchy look permanently etched onto his face." Tiny scowled and sucked his pacifier. "See what I mean? Ciao." She vanished in a shower of purple sparkles.

"Well, that was interesting," Ash commented. "Now I guess we should head back to town. Can you portal us there?"

"Um, no. I've never actually been inside the city limits," Lily confessed. "But I can take us a little closer to it than we are now."

"Okay," Ash said. "By the way, what were you doing in the cemetery, anyway?"

"Mother brought us to visit the family crypt," Lily explained. "We are descended from a long line of powerful ice mages, and Mother showed the potential to be one of the greatest yet from a very early age…until she decided evil held more promise and power for her than doing good works like the rest of the family did, causing her to be cast out and forbidden to come anywhere near the family home. She got her revenge by killing them all, however, and occasionally visits the place their remains are buried so that she can consume them and in doing so obtain some of the power lingering in their bones."

"…That's disgusting," said a disgusted Ash. Tiny sucked his pacifier in agreement.

"Well, it's evil magic. Quite a lot of it is grotesque," Lily said. "She came here to imbibe more of her ancestors' power both to recover from the defeat you handed her back in the Mystifying Woods as well as to try and overcome the cloaking spell the map to the Star Badges uses to shield your group from her gaze."

Ash blinked. "Our map has a cloaking spell?"

"You didn't know?" Lily asked in surprise.

"No, the only magic we knew about was that it showed the location of the next Star Badge after we exposed it to the light of one, and could only be read by the pure of heart," Ash said. "I had no idea it was offering us some kind of protection."

"If it hadn't, Mother would have hunted you all down and killed you by now," Lily said.

"Then how'd she find us in the Mystifying Woods?" Ash asked.

"She got lucky," Lily said.

Ash smirked. "Heh. Figures. Hey, when we've gotten me back to normal and taken care of Brodie, do you want to fight your mother next? If we got rid of her now, we'll probably be striking a major blow against the Nihilators."

Lily hesitated. "I'm…not sure I'm ready to face her yet…"

"You're going to have to do it sooner or later, though," Ash pointed out. "And since we know she's in the area now, we can fight her while she's still here rather than worrying about bumping into her unexpectedly in the future."

Lily winced. "I suppose. I just…"

"You're afraid of her," Ash stated.

"Yes…" Lily said weakly.

"Don't be," Ash said. "You have nothing to worry about, Lily. My friends and I will make sure Bellum never hurts you again. As long as you have us standing by your side, you can always rely on us to help you when things are at their worst."

Lily blinked in surprise. "You…you really mean that?"

Ash nodded. "Sure. That's what friends are for, isn't it?"

"I wouldn't know," Lily said. "But…but if you are willing to do all that for me, then…then I will do my best to prove myself worthy of your kindness, Ash."

"Helping get me back to normal would be a good start," Ash said. "So, let's go and introduce you to my friends, shall we? There'll be a couple of new faces for you to meet that weren't around the last time you ran into us."

"Well, I suppose that's good. They won't be afraid I'll kill them…" Lily said hesitantly.

"That's the spirit!" Ash said cheerfully. "Come on; let's go to Twilight's Edge!" Lily nodded and opened another portal. The three of them went through, the gateway closing behind them.

When they were gone, the Dark Clefairy reappeared in the clearing. "Hmm…that was interesting." She took out another cigarette, lit it with magic, and started puffing on it. "I think she'll do pretty well on that team."

A blue eye opened in the shadows behind her. "I had hoped as much. With Lily on Team Aurabolt, they stand a better chance of defeating the Nihilators and the evil they seek to unleash…as well as returning that which is precious to me."

"You sure it's okay for you to be manipulating events like this?" the Dark Clefairy asked, shaking some ashes off the end of her cigarette. "I wouldn't want anything bad to happen because you broke the rules."

The owner of the blue eye growled. "I am doing all that I can within the restrictions that have been enforced on me. It isn't much, but it's the best I can do. I can only hope it will be enough…and that in the end, I will be forgiven for my own transgressions."

"I'm surprised they didn't catch on when you allowed that servant of yours to join the group," the Dark Clefairy commented.

"Those I am forced to answer to are unaware that that agent serves me. They do not know just how many around this world are loyal only to me," the thing in the shadow said.

"Let's hope it stays that way, for _her_ sake," the Dark Clefairy said, inhaling on her cigarette. "You sure we can trust the Lucario? His past is…troubled."

The being in the dark sighed. "No, I'm not sure he can be trusted. Especially not if he regains all of his memories. However, our enemy is obsessed with him, and that is something we can use against him. I will do whatever it takes to retrieve what they have stolen from me."

The Dark Clefairy nodded and blew out some smoke. "I can understand that. Anything else you need from me?"

"Not at the moment. However, if you could keep Marianne from finding Lily for a while longer…" the figure said.

The Dark Clefairy smirked. "No problem. The girls'll have fun with that plasma bitch. Sure you don't want us to get rid of her?"

"If you do, it could be traced back to me. That's a risk I can't take," the thing said.

The Dark Clefairy nodded. "Got it. We'll just play with her for a little while. You want us to leave Brodie alone too?"

"He needs to stay alive if Ash is to regain his true form…the boy is critical to my plans, no matter how dangerous he might prove to be," the being said.

The Dark Clefairy sighed. "Yeah, I figured as much. Okay, we'll get on it. And…good luck to you. I hope this doesn't all blow up in our faces."

"As do I," the creature said, its eye closing. "As do I."

The Dark Clefairy found herself alone in the clearing. Clouds passed over the moon, covering the forest in its pitch-black shadow. The only source of light in the blackness was a small, faint glow from the end of the Dark Clefairy's cigarette…

Until she dropped it to the ground and crushed it beneath her heel, and darkness filled the woods once again.

…

A little later, in Twilight's Edge Town Hall…

"So…let me get this straight," Pikachu said slowly, eyeing Lily, who was hovering nervously next to Ash (whom he couldn't see) and Tiny with skepticism. "You're saying that Ash is right here in this room next to you but we can't see or hear him because of the spell the Ditto cast on him, and that you're the _only_ person who can see or hear him due to being a witch. Not only that, but you've turned your back on your mother and the rest of your family and agreed to join us—the Pokemon whom you tried to kill that beat you and your family up the last time we met—because Ash—whom, I repeat, is supposedly in this room even though we can't see or hear him—broke the curse that allowed Bellum to control you and is apparently an excuse for a great deal of the evil you've committed in the past and you conveniently know a way to reverse the spell on Ash, just when we needed that knowledge the most. And you found the way to reverse the spell by catching a chain-smoking fairy in the middle of the forest with a piece of fruit. Am I right so far?"

"Um…yes…" Lily said timidly, shrinking back on herself and fearing the worst.

"I guess it does sound rather unbelievable when you put it that way…" Ash admitted. Tiny sucked his pacifier.

Pikachu glanced at the rest of Team Aurabolt (and Father Yamiri) for a moment, then looked back at Lily and shrugged. "Okay, I believe it."

"Totally," Leo agreed.

"It makes sense to me," Sasha said.

"It seems perfectly plausible," Father Yamiri agreed.

Lily started. This was certainly not what she had expected. "I…wh-what?! You believe me, just like that?!"

"To be frank, I'm not entirely sure you can be trusted, but the fact that Tiny's right there with you and not screaming or anything indicates Ash has to be somewhere nearby, so I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, for now," Pikachu said.

"Your story is no crazier than anything else that's happened to us so far and just as believable as most of the stuff I've seen on television," Leo said. "Plus, I predicted almost from the first time we met that you would eventually switch sides and join our team, since just about every group of heroes has at least _one_ member who used to be part of the bad guys' organization, and since you clearly had doubts about what you were doing, it seemed like a sure bet that that Pokemon would be you. The fact that you're the daughter of a major villain made that outcome even more likely, since daughters of supervillains almost _always_ betray their parents to help the heroes, either out of teenage rebellion or disagreement with their parents' methods or because they've fallen in love with one of the heroes." _I hope it's not that last one…I was hoping to find a girlfriend on this journey, and I thought she would make a good candidate!_ He thought to himself.

"While you have a strong potential for disasters, I do not sense any ill intent from you, so see no reason to doubt your story or willingness to help us," Sasha said.

"Since I know firsthand the power of redemption, I try to look for the best in everyone and always believe someone when they say they're tired of their evil ways and want to make up for their past mistakes," Father Yamiri said. "There are some who call me an idealistic and naïve old fool who's only setting himself up for constant heartbreak and disappointment. Those people haven't met all the converts I've brought to the Order."

"But…but I tried to kill you before! Well, Pikachu and Leo, anyway. How can you be so willing to believe me and let me join your group after that?!" Lily asked in confusion.

"Oh, I forgave you for that ages ago," Leo said casually. "Sorry for knocking you out last time, by the way."

"Like I said, I'm not entirely sure I trust you—after all, someone in this group needs to have a sense of caution—and I could just as easily see this as some ploy of the Nihilators to have you infiltrate our team and eliminate us," said Pikachu. "However, as I said before, Tiny being here means Ash must be here, and if Ash is here then he must trust you, and if he trusts you…well, then I guess I can give you a chance."

"And besides, if you turn on us we could always kill you," Sasha said. "Even Ghosts can die. Again, that is."

"Arceus's Fourth Law states: 'there is magic in sincere forgiveness, for in forgiving others you heal them and yourself.' By forgiving you, I accept you, and help you take the first step towards accepting yourself," Yamiri said.

"I…this…th-this is…" Lily stammered in disbelief. That same warm and unfamiliar feeling washed over her again, and she found herself crying, which was odd, because she wasn't sad and nobody had hit her recently. Why was she in tears?

_You're crying because you're happy,_ B told her.

_Happiness?_ Lily asked in surprise. _Is that what this feeling is?_

_It's the sense that you are where you belong, with people who like you and accept you for who you are…the feeling that you are trusted and welcome…the belief that you have friends that you can rely on, and that you would do anything for,_ B explained.

Ash smiled warmly at Lily. "Not a bad bunch, huh? They took that even better than I had expected. It's not such a bad thing to hope now and then if you know that something like this could happen, right?"

"Are you all right?" Pikachu asked in concern, noticing her tears.

Lily felt another thrill of delight at this, because this was the first time anyone had asked her that question before and meant it. "I…yes…I-I'm just so happy…for the first time, I know what it really means to have friends…"

_You've always had me,_ B pointed out.

_Since most of your advice wound up with me getting tortured and I'm still not completely sure you exist, you don't entirely count,_ Lily replied. B grunted.

"I will do my best to prove myself worthy of your trust in me," Lily continued out loud. "And I can start by changing Ash back to normal! When we were out in the forest, I learned the key I needed to perform the spell to fix him: the name of the Ditto who did this to him! His name is-"

"Brodie Imite," Father Yamiri said.

Lily started. "Wh-what?!"

"How did they know that?!" Ash cried in disbelief.

"We figured it out about half an hour ago," said Pikachu.

"It was easy thanks to Leo's 'Internet,'" Sasha said.

Leo nodded. "Yeah, I remembered the guy saying he had cousins named Duplica and Mini-Dit who were better and more famous shapeshifters than him. So I went to Bulbapedia and looked up their names in the database, and sure enough, when I found their entries, it mentioned they had a serial killer cannibalistic cousin with a birth defect that made it difficult for him to change into anything without DNA from the Pokemon he was trying to become named Brodie Imite."

Lily's face fell, crestfallen. "Then…then the inquiries I made were for nothing?" She was appalled. She had hoped for her acquisition of Brodie's name to be her big proof that she was trustworthy and could help the group when it counted. Now she found out that all her efforts had been meaningless. Maybe she really _was_ useless after all…

"Hey, don't feel bad," Ash said, quickly spotting the shift in Lily's mood. "You were able to bring me back to the others, after all, and you're the one who'll be performing the spell. That's something the others couldn't have done. You're still going to prove yourself as a capable member of the team."

"Don't feel too bad," Pikachu said. "Even if we figured out the name on our own, we still were having trouble finding Ash. You bringing him back here was a big help."

"Plus, thanks to your magical skills, we'll be able to reverse the identity theft spell easily," said Leo. "Without you, we wouldn't have had anyone capable of pulling it off."

"Er, actually I-" Father Yamiri started, until Sasha nudged him hard. "Ah, right, I mean, we wouldn't be able to do it without you. Thank you for choosing to aid us, Lily."

"See? What did I tell you?" Ash said. "They took the words right out of my mouth!"

"Your welcome," Lily said, slightly mollified but still rather upset about the whole thing. She vowed she'd try extra-hard in the future to make up for this initial failure. "Now that we have Ash, Ash and Brodie's names, and the Star Badge—you _do_ have it, right?"

They nodded. "That's right," said Sasha.

"And we've already used it to figure out where the next Badge is hidden…the infamous Zero Island," Pikachu said.

"Zero Island?! Oh my," said the alarmed Lily. "There's a curse and pirate ghosts haunting that place, aren't there?"

"Yeah. It should be awesome!" Leo said, showing the opposite attitude most other Pokemon would have had when confronted with a destination like that. Lily gave him an odd look. Pikachu rolled his eyes, used to such outbursts from the Squirtle by now.

"Well, before we go there, we need to change Ash back…and the only component still missing is Brodie himself. We need to find and capture him and get him to the belfry in Yamatorochi's temple before it's too late," Lily continued. "I'm not sure how we'll be able to get all that done in what little time remains to Ash, though."

"Don't worry, we think we've got an idea for that, too," Pikachu said.

"We would have implemented it by now, but we wanted to find Ash first, since finding Brodie alone wouldn't help us reverse the spell if we didn't have Ash too," Sasha said.

"They have a plan already? Wow, they're certainly very productive when I'm not around…should I be insulted by that?" Ash wondered.

"What is your plan?" Lily asked.

"Rather than go out looking for Brodie, we're going to have him come to us," Leo said.

"We'll have the Mayor send out messages to all the search parties to inform them that we've figured out a way to destroy Yamatorochi's bell, and intend to do so in about…one hour," Pikachu said, glancing at a clock.

"We fully expect Brodie to intercept and/or overhear this message," Yamiri said.

"And since the bell is crucial to his plans to obtain the forms of the Ghosts he's captured, he will have no choice but to return to the temple to try and stop us, where we will be ready for him…as will Ash," Sasha said.

"Sounds like a solid plan to me," said Ash.

Lily was impressed. "You know how to destroy that bell? Wow! Not even Mother's ever figured out how to do that! Not that she ever intended to, of course, since something like that could be useful to her, but just in case it were ever used against her"

"Oh no, we're still clueless as to how to do it, though Pikachu still thinks his sword might do the trick," Leo said.

"Well, it killed the thing's master, so I don't see why not," Pikachu said.

Lily blinked. "Huh? But you said-"

"_We_ don't know how to destroy the bell." Leo smirked. "But Brodie doesn't know we don't know, now does he?"

"…Ooh. Clever," said Ash.

"That's a very cunning scheme…but will it work?" Lily asked dubiously. "It seems like a rather obvious bluff."

"Even if it is, he can't risk the chance that we might actually have figured out how to do it, because if we have, then all his plans are ruined," Yamiri said.

"Plus, he doesn't know we have Ash back now, so might not think that our trap is as big as he thinks it is," Sasha said.

"We'll have you and Ash stay in hiding until he shows up, so that when he's in position you guys can spring out, surprise him, and get Ash his identity back," Pikachu said.

"After which I'll punch that little booger until he's splattered all over the walls! I like the sound of this plan," Ash said eagerly.

"Ash finds this plan most satisfactory," Lily told the others.

Pikachu smirked. "I thought you would," he said to thin air.

"Um, Ash is over here," Lily said, indicating another patch of seemingly empty space.

"Oh. Sorry, Ash," Pikachu apologized.

"No problem," Ash said. "I can't wait to be normal again…this whole 'shadow' thing is a real pain!" Tiny sucked his pacifier in agreement.

"I can't wait for Ash to get back to normal again. This whole 'shadow' thing must be a real pain," Leo commented.

Ash blinked. "How do they keep saying what I'm thinking? This is really weird."

"Doesn't part of being 'friends' have something to do with being in tune with each other?" Lily asked.

"Yeah, but not this much. It's not like they're psychic…" Ash said. He frowned in thought. "Or _are_ they?" Lily sweatdropped.

"Ash just said something stupid, didn't he?" Pikachu asked.

"Er, yes," Lily said hesitantly, not really wanting to say anything bad about her first friend that didn't live in her head.

"He does that a lot," Sasha commented.

"Hey!" Ash snapped. "I'd give you an earful…if you could hear me. Mon, this really sucks." Tiny sucked on his pacifier and rolled his eyes. Grown-ups could be _so_ immature.

He wondered if the peeling wallpaper tasted any good. He was still very hungry.

…

Meanwhile, in Pokemon Square…

"The Planet Seed…" Sabrina murmured to herself.

"What is that?" Aaron asked.

"And what's it grow into?" Raiki wondered.

"And why does it sound vaguely familiar?" asked the puzzled Bagon.

"What does this 'Seed' or the Holy Mother have tae do with anything?" Scotty asked.

"Everything," the Mayor said gravely. "Mew told Deoxys that our planet would be crucial in thwarting a disaster in the distant future which threatened to destroy the entire Omniverse. But even if Earth were to be reassembled into an ordinary planet like it had been before, it would not be strong enough to stop this disaster. If Earth were to fulfill its destiny and save all of reality, certain…changes would need to be made to it so that it would be ready to play its role when the time came."

"The entire planet will prevent a disaster? It must be very big, if a whole world, rather than a single hero or group of heroes, is necessary to save all that exists," Aaron mused.

"Changes? What sort of changes are we talking about here?" Nuken asked.

"Deoxys and Mew combined their super-science and divine powers to reconstruct the Earth and the Moon," the Mayor continued. "The explosion that tore the world apart was relatively weak as far as world-shattering kabooms go, so very large chunks of the world still existed, with relatively intact landscapes and cities on them—although said landscapes and cities had been ravaged by Oblivion's Shadow and all life wiped out even before the great explosion. It was relatively simple to piece these fragments back together like a global jigsaw puzzle, crafting new chunks to fill holes here and there and rearranging the continental plates a little to make everything fit together more neatly. They did the same thing to the Moon. So on the surface, it didn't look like they had made many changes." He smirked. "On the _surface_, mind you. Beneath it…well, that's where everything was different."

"Different how?" Sabrina asked.

"Common knowledge would have you believe that under the lithosphere—the mechanically rigid outer layer of our planet, broken up into tectonic plates—is a mantle and core comprised of liquid rock and metal making up the majority of the Earth's interior. This is not entirely the case. The truth of the matter is that our world is hollow, and occupying the vast bulk of its inner space is…I suppose you could call it a computer, though it is neither mechanical enough to be machine or biological enough to be called an organism, but some strange and miraculous fusion of the two," the Mayor said.

Naturally, everyone (except Joy) was astonished by this revelation. "The entire planet is a computer?!" the Bagon cried.

"That can't be!" Nuken protested.

"Or can it?" Sabrina mused.

"I wonder what it would be like tae hook up tae such a marvel…it must have incredible processing power!" Scotty mused, completely missing the point.

"The entire inside of our world is a giant machine?!" Raiki asked.

"How has nobody not noticed this before now?!" Aaron questioned.

"Very few Pokemon can dig deep enough to even scratch the outer shell of the computer. Plus, there's still lots of magma and molten stuff flowing here and there, making up some of the channels through which the computer passes information and energy through its gargantuan circuitry," the Mayor said. "The Pokemon who _can_ make it down that far are members of a very select group sworn to protect the machine at all costs and make sure it remains a secret from pretty much everyone on the surface who's not in the know."

"The only Pokemon I can think of who could survive that far down are…Groudon and Heatran," Raiki murmured, a thought occurring to him. "Wait a second…are you telling me that the legendary Pokemon are the ones who know of and protect this computer?"

The Mayor nodded. "Right on the noggin!"

"What? Nobody told me about this!" said the startled Bagon. "I was Rayquaza! Shouldn't I have been aware of something like this if an idiot like _Groudon_ was involved?!"

"I'm as surprised as you are, Your Majesty. Your predecessor never mentioned anything like this," Nuken commented.

"Nor would he have, it's meant to be our world's greatest secret," the Mayor said.

"Then why didn't _I_ know about it?!" the Bagon demanded.

"The original Rayquaza lost a good deal of power before you were able to rescue and succeed him," Sabrina said. "Perhaps the knowledge pertaining to this computer was stolen as well before you could absorb what remaining energy he had left?"

"I don't like the sound of that…" the Bagon murmured. "If that's the case, then what other incredibly vital pieces of information am I missing?"

"Why are the legendaries involved in protecting and keeping something like this a secret?" Aaron asked.

"Yeah, especially since a bunch of them are sort of…well, idiots," Raiki said.

Nuken snorted. "That's a bit of an understatement."

"And what's the blasted thing for, anyway?!" Scotty shouted.

"We're getting there, calm down," Joy said.

"The computer, among other things, is intended to run…well, the entire planet," the Mayor said. "Since Earth was so incredibly wrecked by Oblivion's Shadow, a machine had to be installed to basically keep our world working. Think of it like a heart or brain transplant. The computer is hooked up to every inch of the Earth and makes sure the seasons come and go in the proper cycle, that the weather stays relatively stable, that plants and trees grow abundantly…basically, it maintains just about every element of nature and allows most of us living on top of it to enjoy relative prosperity, aside from the times we fight each other for stupid reasons or destroy the environment."

"Then…what you're saying is that everything on our world, the very fabric of nature itself…is artificial?!" Aaron asked incredulously.

"Technically, it was artificial to begin with, considering that everything in the Omniverse was created by Arceus and his children," Sabrina pointed out.

"So…doesn't that mean that all nature is by its--well, nature--artificial too?" Raiki suggested, seeing her point. Aaron grunted but did not reply.

"Seasons? Weather? Nature?! I thought that's the sort of thing legendaries like myself did," said the very confused Bagon.

Nuken nodded. "That is correct. Rayquaza's duty (other than running the Draconian Empire) is to make sure the weather remains balanced. And to destroy dangerous spaceborne objects entering the atmosphere. And to beat up Groudon and Kyogre whenever they get in another petty battle. Where does this computer come into it?"

"Rayquaza is _part_ of the computer," the Mayor said. "As are all of us, really."

They stared at him blankly. "…I dinnae get it," said the confused Scotty.

"Yeah, I think I'd remember something like being part of a computer," the Bagon agreed.

"And wouldn't that have made him a cyborg or something? He didn't look like one to me," Raiki pointed out. "Unless all the mechanical parts were on the inside…so maybe those yellow lines on his body were actually circuit patterns? Hmm, maybe it's not such a far-off idea after all…" The others sweatdropped.

"Think of it like this," Nurse Joy spoke up. "The planet is a machine, but it's also a living thing. All of our bodies possess certain…organic mechanisms. Chemicals. Specialized cells and organs that handle particular functions of the body's operation. The planet has all those too, but, since it's a _giant_ organism, all those specialized mechanisms exist on a larger scale. Many of them manifest in or have their roles fulfilled by legendary Pokemon. When Mew and Deoxys resurrected them, they tied their brains to the computer so that whenever a glitch or bug or built-up pressure in the systems manifested in the form of a disaster like a hurricane or earthquake or volcano, they could use their powers to neutralize or at the very least lessen the damage caused by those disasters."

"I guess that explains how I always seemed to know when there was a disturbance I needed to take care of…" the Bagon said, still not entirely pleased with this revelation.

"So…legendary Pokemon are like the planet's antibodies? Or virus protection software?" Scotty asked, slowly getting it.

"Precisely!" Joy said.

"Wait, then why do lots of disasters still happen anyway? And don't legendaries occasionally _cause_ some of them?" Raiki pointed out.

Joy shrugged. "No system is perfect. Sometimes these things need to happen anyway to release pressure or pent-up energy forming inside the computer. Besides, most legendaries come in groups, so if one causes a problem, their comrades can theoretically step in to fix it, like how Rayquaza always intervened whenever Groudon and Kyogre were fighting again. Unless the legendaries in question are having an argument that results in _all_ of them causing problems, in which case someone _else_ needs to step in to deal with them. Which happens more than it should. Like I said, it's not perfect."

"Why isn't it, then, if it was crafted by the Savior and the Holy Mother?" Aaron asked.

"Then there would be no room for improvement," Sabrina said.

"Take it from an experienced doctor, our bodies could have been designed a lot better than they are now," Joy said. "There's lots of theories as to why they were made this way—since, even when you consider evolution, there must be _some_ aspect of intelligent design behind the way we develop over time since we were made by the gods, who tend to plan for stuff like this way ahead of time—but one of the most prominent is that we were made imperfect so that we could overcome our faults and become the stronger for them. Or because perfection is boring."

"That's all conjecture, in any event," the Mayor said. "We don't really know why they made things the way they are, we just know that they did, and have to assume they had a reason and that one day it'll all make sense. Just like most religions."

"If legendary Pokemon are the planet's antibodies…then what does that make the rest of us, who live on it?" Nuken asked.

"Red blood cells?" Aaron suggested.

"The invisible microscopic bacteria and other organisms covering every square inch of our bodies?" Raiki offered.

"Mindless and insignificant ones and zeroes in the planet's databanks?" Scotty guessed.

"Neither of those guesses is right…though Scotty's is close," the Mayor said. "You misunderstand. While the computer is designed for some greater purpose that I'll get to in a bit, it's also meant to hold the planet together. In other words, make it habitable and comfortable for the people living on it. It works for us, not the other way around, save for those crafted to serve as the system's defenders."

"Like the legendaries," the Bagon said, still rather miffed that nobody had told him about this beforehand.

"And me," said Nurse Joy.

"You?!" Aaron said.

"Wait, then does that mean all the rumors about your family being clones are right after all?" Raiki asked.

"Close," Joy said. "While the legendaries are designed to be the planet's large-scale defense system, the computer periodically churns out or causes to be born Pokemon as individuals or entire species that serve some greater purpose. For instance, that's why all Wailords are capable of carrying people inside of them, to serve as a method of transportation across the ocean. And it's also why my family exists. We were born from the planet centuries ago to serve as healers, easing suffering and curing hurts and pains of the body, while our warm smiles and caring hearts sped up the recovery of wounds of the spirit. To make us the ultimate healers, we were not only given encyclopedic knowledge of the workings of the bodies of every Pokemon in existence, but were also granted immortality, super-regenerative powers, and a great degree of strength so that no evil person could coerce us into helping them or keep us from helping others."

"…Huh. So _that's_ why yer tots have been wee babes for a really long time now…" Scotty murmured.

"And why I can't remember anyone but you being in charge of the Pokemon Center, even when I was a baby," Raiki admitted.

"And why members of your family seem to be in every village, town, city, and several places out in the middle of nowhere all over the world," the Bagon realized.

"Hasn't anyone noticed that you've been around a lot longer than everyone else?" Nuken asked, somewhat miffed to find out that the Joys under his command had been hiding something this big from him.

Joy laughed. "That's the good thing about all of us looking so much alike that nobody else can tell us apart, or all of us having the same name. If anyone asks, we can just say that was our mother or aunt or sister or cousin they're thinking of, and that we evolved and took their place some time ago and never mentioned it because we didn't want to bother anyone. We aren't always lying when we say that, either!"

"Are you immortal too, Mayor?" the Bagon asked.

The Whiscash shook his head. "No, I'm as regular a Pokemon as the rest of you. I was just given the responsibility of keeping these secrets when I took office, like all the other Mayors before me. This is our most important duty…along with something else, which I will explain shortly."

Aaron frowned in thought. "So some Pokemon are born with a specific function…wait…Mayor! Is that why Rescue Teams exist?" Aaron asked, getting a sudden brainwave. "Are they Pokemon born to serve the planet by being heroes and helping those in need?"

"What? No way!" said a startled Raiki.

"No, it canna be! Can it?" wondered Scotty.

The Mayor smiled. "You're partly right, Aaron. That _is_ why Rescue Teams exist, to serve as another layer of the planetary defense system. However, to say they were all born into it is an overstatement. The Rescue Team institution was created to save the world from disasters caused by glitches or from barbarians and other ne'er-do-wells, but most of the people who go out and do it choose to, just like everyone else. Very few of them were specifically bred to be heroes from birth. Oh, sure, some of them occasionally crop up with talents that put them above their peers, but that doesn't necessarily mean they have no choice but to be heroes. While genes are indeed destiny, free will or the illusion of it is still incorporated into the system. You don't need special powers or some prophecy to become a hero."

"Fascinating…" Sabrina murmured.

"Then does that mean the Thunderblade family was designed to be heroes, or that we just turned out that way out of our own actions?" Raiki asked.

"Or the Aura Guardians? Is my species created solely to be champions of justice and virtue?" Aaron asked.

"Raiki, your family became heroes because your ancestor decided to take a stand against the forces of evil and forged a magical sword," the Mayor said. "You Thunderblades made your own destiny. As for Aaron…well, I'm not sure you'll like this, but yes, Lucarios and those who have the power of Aura are created to protect the planet. Their instinct to help others, to do the right thing, to fight for those who can't fight for themselves…all of that is, well, sort of programmed into you."

"…All right," Aaron said, not looking particularly upset by this.

"That doesn't make you angry?" the Bagon asked.

Aaron shrugged. "I have always been a strong believer in fate. I knew my destiny was chosen for me, but until now I did not know who the chooser was. I am honored that I came into being to help safeguard a world as wonderful as ours. Although…" he frowned. "Why, then, is my kind dwindling? I would have thought that, as things worsen like they have been in recent times, more Aura Guardians like myself would be born because they are needed."

"You'd be right," the Mayor agreed. "More of your kind _should_ be appearing, along with others who can use Aura. However, the enemies of the planet, those who are aware of our world's true nature, have recognized how important the role of Aura Guardians is in the Earth's defense. I believe they have been taking a proactive campaign to wipe out as many Lucarios and Aura-users at an early age as they can, to minimize the threat they could one day cause to their plans."

"I had feared as much," Sabrina sighed.

"That's horrible!" Raiki said, a shocked look on his face.

"How many wee children have they slaughtered?" a saddened Scotty wondered.

Aaron growled, clenching his fists and trying to keep his Aura from going out of control from anger. "So…that is why it has been so very long since last I saw one like myself…Mayor…tell me. Is this, too, the doing of Oblivion's Shadow?"

"Possibly," said the Mayor.

"It could also be Bellum's doing," Nuken suggested. "She has bragged about killing Aura Guardians before. Maybe she was telling the truth…curse that witch! Is there no level of villainy she will not stoop to!?"

"Doubt it," the Bagon said.

The Mayor sighed. "It wouldn't surprise me if it were either of them, they're both very dangerous individuals. The fate of the Aura Guardians aside, I believe that it is because of the existence of the computer within the Earth that Oblivion's Shadow has been trying so hard to destroy the world for the last thousand years. The Nihilators and the impending barbarian invasion are just the tip of the iceberg. He's also the one who steered the meteor that Ash and Pikachu helped stop towards our planet, and has caused countless other wars and atrocities and other disasters throughout history as part of an overall campaign to gain access to and destroy the computer. It is only thanks to the intervention of the legendary Pokemon, the Aura Guardians, the Rescue Teams, and everyday heroes thwarting his schemes on various levels around the world that he has not yet succeeded."

They all stirred at this. "Are you saying that this Oblivion's Shadow is responsible for all the bad things that have happened in the last millennium?!" the Bagon asked.

"No, but he's caused a sizable fraction of them," the Mayor said.

"You give him too much credit. A lot of the problems that have popped up come from 'natural' causes or Pokemon not getting along with each other," Joy said. "To attribute all the evil in the world to one being is denying the potential for wickedness that exists within all of us. Even my family, the Joy clan, is not one hundred percent pure and free of sin…why else would my relative in Treasure Town have succumbed to greed and turned her Pokemon Center into a whorehouse rather than a sanctuary for that town's residents?"

Nuken nodded in agreement. "Pokemon do not need an outside force to be tempted to do evil things…but…does that mean that Oblivion's Shadow was responsible for the death of my prior liege, too?!"

"I thought Bellum did that," the Bagon said.

"She did…but did she do it on her own, or did Oblivion's Shadow put her up to it?" Nuken growled. "He certainly would have benefited from my liege's death."

"From what we know of Bellum so far, she probably needed no goading to murder your former master," the Mayor said.

"Aye, she's a cold-hearted lass," Scottie said.

"Well, she's a Froslass, that sort of goes without saying," Raiki said.

"Even if Oblivion's Shadow wasn't involved in the original Rayquaza's death, he probably recruited her sometime afterwards," Joy suggested. "Someone as valuable an asset in his quest for world destruction as her wouldn't remain out of his grasp for long."

"I doubt she'd have needed much convincing, if she thought working with him would further her own goals," Nuken snarled. "Hmm…I wonder…could that mean the evil behind the Door under Treasure Town is her master?"

"That is certainly a possibility we cannot discount," Sabrina agreed.

"Why's this Shadow blighter so obsessed with destroying the computer and the rest of the world, anyway?" Scotty asked.

"And what does everything you've told us so far have to do with Pokemon Square?" Aaron asked. "You still haven't explained what it has to do with everyone wanting to destroy our town."

"I'm getting there. I don't know the reasons he is so focused on destroying the Earth," the Mayor admitted. "But I think I know why he wishes to destroy the computer. You see, I said before that it's designed to maintain the stability of the Earth and hold the planet together…but that's only part of its job. Its primary function is to nurture and care for the precious treasure hidden at its core, in the very center of the Earth…the Planet Seed."

"You mentioned that thing before…what is it?" the Bagon asked.

"After Mew and Deoxys finished reassembling the Earth and installing the computer inside of it, they combined their unmatched skill in genetics, science, and magic to create an organism which would one day grow into something that would not only save the Omniverse, but change the very nature of reality as we know it," the Mayor said. "That organism was the Planet Seed. Fed by solar and geothermal energy channeled into it by the computer, nourished by the memories and life experiences of all the Pokemon on the surface and data collected by the multiversal sensors that had been built into the refurbished Moon, the Seed gestates in the heart of our world, awaiting the day when it will take root and blossom into…into _something_ that will usher in a new age of wonders unlike any we could possibly imagine."

"What kind of something? A tree?" Raiki asked, since that's what most seeds he could think of grew into. Unless it was a flower. Or some kind of mutant Grass Pokemon.

"Like the Tree of Beginning?" Aaron wondered, thinking of the tree of legend that the Nihilators had recently demolished.

The Mayor nodded. "They based more than a bit of the Seed's design on the Tree of Beginning, actually. In fact, they even managed to convert the Tree into an important energy and information-generating node for the computer…which is probably one of the reasons why the Nihilators destroyed it in the first place. Efficiency and overall processing power has dropped a few percentage points now that the Tree is gone; not enough to seriously affect the Seed's development, but enough to force the computer to divert more power elsewhere to keep the planet running relatively smoothly. They haven't crippled the planet by killing the Tree, but they still managed to inflict a rather large injury to the world as a whole that it'll take a while to recover completely from."

Aaron growled angrily, nearly losing control of his Aura again in his righteous fury at this latest blasphemy. "Those bastards…more than a few of my ancestors, including my namesake, gave their lives to protect that Tree…and they just went and demolished it as if it were nothing?! There shall be a reckoning for this."

"I'll be right there beside you when it happens," Raiki promised. "My sword's been itching to tear into a few of those jerks too."

Aaron smiled gratefully. "Thank you, Raiki. I know I can always count on you."

"In Ash and Pikachu, I see your mirrors…" Sabrina announced. "A great friendship repeating itself across generations. Were it not for the fact that both of you are still alive, I could easily be mistaken for saying they were your reincarnations." Aaron and Raiki smirked at this. "Though which of the duo you each would have reincarnated as is more difficult to say." They sweatdropped.

"Awww, isn't that sweet?" Joy cooed.

"Eh," Nuken grunted.

"Getting back on subject…when the Seed blossoms, will it…ah…tear apart the planet around it?" Scotty asked uneasily, glancing at the ground beneath his feet in worry that it might split apart at any moment as some giant plant-monster rose up from the depths.

"No," the Mayor said. "More like the planet will…er…expand around it. Or be incorporated into it. I'm not entirely sure _what_ will happen, but I know that we should all be fine. Assuming we're around long enough for it to reach maturity, that is."

"What was that you said about it being nurtured by our memories?" the Bagon asked.

"And since when has there been multiversal sensor things on the Moon?!" Raiki asked.

"I wonder if I could get good reception offa those things…" Scotty mused.

"After the Seed had been created, Mew said that, for it to grow successfully, it would need a…well, an education, like any young Pokemon," the Mayor said. "So they basically added a few systems that would give it just that: an education."

"The reconstructed Moon had been hollowed out and fitted with a computer, just like Earth," Joy said. "But this one, rather than nurturing a Seed, is essentially a giant antenna gathering information from all over the Omniverse and transmitting it directly into the Seed, so it'll be encoded into its DNA and be a part of its final form."

"And as for the memories…well, you all know that when we die, our souls go to the Celestial Heavens, right?" the Mayor said.

"Well, yeah, everyone knows that," Raiki said.

"And sometimes they come back, too, though the time it takes for them to return varies," Sabrina said. "That's reincarnation."

"Well, before they ascend to the Heavens, they make a slight detour," the Mayor said.

"More of a descent, really," Joy said.

"The planet's got a router built into it that causes newly deceased souls to pass through it on their way to the afterlife," the Mayor said. "Assuming they don't become Ghosts like Nuken, that is. As they pass through the bowels of the world, their memories and life experiences are recorded and encoded into the Seed so that whatever it matures into will have a bit of all of us incorporated into it."

"But many of those of us on the surface are evil," said a concerned Bagon. "Won't that corrupt the Seed?"

"There is also much evil in the Omniverse, and good as well," Aaron said. "The Savior and Holy Mother wouldn't have created a mechanism to collect data from evil as well as good if they didn't believe it would all balance out in the end or that the final product would be predominately good."

"Exactly," the Mayor said. "And that's not all, too. Sometimes the souls passing through the router wind up being reborn instantly, serially reincarnating rather than staying dead for a while like everyone else. I'm not entirely certain why this is, but I think it may have something to do with the soul's willpower. If it wants to come back badly enough, it does, though in a new body and rarely with any memory of their past lives."

"So…all of us could either be freshly minted souls—if such a thing exists—or someone who died relatively recently but wasn't quite ready to leave yet?" Raiki asked.

"I feel old enough to have been around the mortal coil a few times," Scotty commented.

"That's less because you've been reincarnated repeatedly and more because you don't take very good care of yourself," Joy said.

"Don't tell me how to live my life, womon," Scotty grunted.

"Reincarnation…does this have anything to do with why only Pokemon were brought back to life rather than humans?" Sabrina asked.

The Mayor shook his head. "Not entirely. Deoxys and Mew originally considered bringing back everyone in the forms they used to have—their souls were all floating around in confusion after the Earth blew up, so that was a possibility—but eventually they decided instead to just turn everyone into Pokemon, including those who had used to be humans, and never got around to telling them the computer and Seed existed."

"Why's that?" Raiki asked.

"Because if everyone knew it existed, the greedy and the stupid would wage wars to try and claim it, of course," Nuken sniffed.

"But what does that have to do with keeping the human race extinct?" Aaron pressed. "Why didn't they bring anyone back as humans?"

"Let me put it this way," said the Mayor. "If you put a button in a cave somewhere at the ends of the Earth and hung up a sign saying, 'WARNING. PUSHING THIS BUTTON WILL CAUSE ARMAGEDDON. DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WHATSOEVER, TOUCH IT,' some human would find it and push it just to see what would happen before the paint had finished drying. Humans aren't necessarily any less or more capable of committing acts of evil or stupidity than Pokemon, but their boundless curiosity often causes them to look into things that really should be left alone."

"But there's lots of Pokemon who'd push a button like that just to see what would happen, too," Raiki said.

"Aye, I definitely would," Scotty said. Everyone stared at him. "What? Don't tell me you wouldnae at least want to see what happened!"

"While lots of Pokemon would push that button, yes, most of them would at least _think_ about it for a second first…even if they went ahead and did it anyway," the Mayor said. "Everyone was reborn as Pokemon in hopes of reducing the chances of something like that happening."

"Additionally, Pokemon are more in tune with nature than humans. That doesn't mean we don't do stupid things like burn down forests or screw up the environment too, but for the most part we cause fewer problems for the computer to deal with than humans would have if they were still around. This way it can focus most of its processing power on preparing the Planet Seed for its ultimate destiny," Joy said.

"I guess that makes sense," said Raiki.

"And this destiny…Oblivion's Shadow seeks to destroy the Seed to prevent that from coming about?" Sabrina asked.

"Or because he wants the Seed's power and knowledge for himself. Or because he wants what's _inside_ the Seed…Mew herself!" the Mayor said.

Everyone was shocked by this revelation. "What?! Mew's down there?!" Nuken cried.

"What's she doing there?!" Scotty asked.

"And how does she breathe or eat if she's inside of a seed?" Raiki asked. The others stared at him. "What? You were thinking it too!"

"After the Seed had been created, Mew fused with it to give it the initial spark of life, to add her own boundless power and wisdom to it, and so that she could help guide its growth and development from within and make sure it became the force for balance it was intended to be," the Mayor said.

"But how can Mew be inside the Seed? She has been spotted more than once around the world since the Earth was reconstructed," Aaron argued. "Even I have caught a glimpse of her once or twice."

"You underestimate Mew. For her, time and space are things that happen to other people," Joy said. "For a being like her, who existed before the Omniverse did, it is simplicity itself to be in more than one place at once. So she can be sleeping in the Planet Seed beneath us while at the same time wandering throughout the cosmos or mating with her husband or many, many lovers, all at the same time."

"…Wow. That's one heck of a libido," Raiki commented.

"To be a Mother, you need a Father to produce children," Sabrina said wisely. "And sometimes more than one is required."

"Uh, right," Scotty said, trying not to think about that too much. "So…that could be the reason that Shadow blighter wants tae take the Seed? Because he might get the chance to do…something to Her Holiness?"

"Could he kill Mew?" the Bagon asked, worried.

"I'm not sure something like her _can_ be killed," Nuken said, although he didn't sound very certain.

"If there is a way, then Oblivion's Shadow will try and find it," the Mayor said. "And if he were to succeed…I can't even begin to imagine the consequences. The concept is just too horrible to think about."

"To kill the Holy Mother…can anyone really be so evil as to entertain the thought of committing such an unforgivable sin?" Aaron wondered.

"This one is," Joy said firmly.

"I can see why the whole thing was kept a secret, if Mew were involved to this extent and is in fact still sleeping beneath our feet…" Scotty said. "But…there still be one question ye havnae answered yet, Mayor."

"Yeah," Raiki agreed. "What does all this have to do with Pokemon Square? Why is everyone trying to destroy us now? Do we have some sort of connection to the Seed?"

"We do indeed, Raiki," the Mayor said. "Shortly after Mew and Deoxys finished repairing the planet, installed the giant computer, created the Seed, and resurrected our world's inhabitants, Pokemon Square was constructed with one purpose in mind: to protect the sole entrance to the Planet Seed's resting place!"

Again, they were startled by this information. "You can get to the center of the Earth from here?!" said the Bagon.

"Couldn't you do that from anywhere, though, if you had a good enough digging machine? Or Groudon?" Raiki asked.

The Mayor shook his head. "The exterior of the computer is virtually impenetrable. Even if you were able to make it all the way through the lithosphere and the magma surrounding it, you still wouldn't be able to get inside. Pokemon Square is built over the sole entry point into the computer's innards, a maintenance tunnel leading down into the bowels of the planet to the control room at the Earth's core where the Planet Seed resides, allowing swift access in case of emergencies. The town was founded to guard this tunnel, which is why we have so many powerful defenses and an unbreakable shield wall that have so far managed to keep this place from ever being taken by siege or invasion."

"So _that's_ where the shield came from…" Aaron murmured. "I had always wondered…"

"Wait, so if the town was built to guard the tunnel, why weren't any of the people living here—except for you and Joy, apparently—told about it?!" Raiki demanded. "Shouldn't we know just what it is we're protecting?"

"Raiki, if your youngest son knew that there was a room in the center of the planet that could be used to literally control the entire world and that somewhere in this town a tunnel leading to this room existed, what do you think he'd do?" the Mayor asked.

Raiki grimaced. "Ah. Good point."

"Curiosity killed the Persian," Nuken said.

"Don't they have nine lives?" the Bagon asked.

"Yes, and what do you think most of them are wasted on?" the Shedinja said darkly.

"So it's been kept secret so the stupid, curious, and evil don't try and mess the whole thing up. I can see that," Scotty said.

"And speaking of Persian, it probably would not have been a good thing if Giovanni had learned of this tunnel, considering all the questionable things he's done lately…" Aaron said. He frowned. "Unless…could he have done those things in response to somehow learning about the Planet Seed?"

"Hmm…I hadn't considered that," the Mayor admitted. "But if he is aware of its existence…then what, precisely, is he up to? Does he want it for himself?"

"And more importantly, do the barbarians?" Raiki wondered. "Could that be one of the determining factors behind their recent alliance against us?"

"It very well could be," Sabrina agreed. "In the past, they always attacked individually, simply desiring this town's riches and despising the civilization it represented. But if they knew it were the gateway to a power that could control the world…"

"That would be a strong enough reason for them tae team up," Scotty finished. "Long enough tae wipe us out then kill each other over who got tae use the Seed, anyway."

"Wretched ingrates," Nuken snarled. "Worthless wastes of flesh, the lot of them."

"Now you know this town's secret, and the grave burden that weighs on all of our shoulders," the Mayor said. "If we are to lose the coming battle, then not just our way of life but the Earth itself could be in jeopardy. I have told only you this and no others because I believe that you can act responsibly with this knowledge and so that none of the townsfolk need to panic over just how high the stakes are."

"Do you think we can win, despite all the odds stacked against us?" the Bagon asked.

"I don't see why not," the Mayor said. "I've recalled just about every active Rescue Team from the field and reactivated a few of the retired ones, and soon we'll have every capable Pokemon here to defend the town. That, along with our defenses—which have yet to be beaten—should give us a bit of an advantage." He frowned. "Though it would help if we knew what Giovanni were up to…and if Team ACT could get back here in the near future. Their power, along with the knowledge they've been trying to gather on our foes, would come in handy."

"I hope nothing bad has happened to them…" Aaron murmured, thinking of his friends on Team ACT, like his former partner Allen the Alakazam.

"It probably has," Scotty said bitterly, having seen far too many Rescue Teams die in the field to keep an optimistic outlook on life.

"Do not forget, however," Sabrina warned them. "I have foreseen that those defenses will fail and that the shield wall will collapse. Our Rescue Teams and warriors alone may not be good enough to stop the barbarian hordes."

"Then it's a good thing we're here, and that you've told us all this," Nuken said briskly. "Now that I understand just how important this town is, I can use my authority as head of the Draconian Empire's military to move as many of our troops here as is necessary to protect this town, as well as positioning the Sky Tower overhead to maximize our defensive capabilities. With your permission, of course, my liege?"

The Bagon blinked. "What? Oh, er, yes. Mayor, would it be all right if we did that?"

"The Empire's finest would be a most welcome addition to the ranks of this town's defenders. You may call in as many of your forces as you like," the Mayor said gratefully. "However, I refuse to relinquish our town's independence just because your forces are sharing space with us. We are a free city-state, and have no interest in becoming another of your Empire's holdings. I do not trust the power of the computer, Planet Seed, or Mew in the hands of any governing body or world power, even yours."

Nuken scowled to himself, disappointed his little political maneuver had been spotted so easily. "…If that is what you desire. I would recommend otherwise, but if that is your decision, then I shall abide by it."

"Ye'd better," Scotty grunted.

"Speaking of the thing's power…why don't we just use it to get rid of the barbarians? That would save a lot of time and worry, wouldn't it?" Raiki suggested.

"Oh, there's lots of reasons not to," the Mayor said. "Like the fact that it's not intended to be used as a weapon, the fact that it's a gross abuse of its power, the fact that you could destroy the balance of nature, the fact that you could _tear the entire continent in half_…need I go on?"

"Ah, no, that's good enough for me," Raiki said anxiously.

"The computer is much too powerful and dangerous to be used as a weapon," Joy said. "It would be best to leave it as it is, and defend it ourselves, using our own strength, to keep anyone else from getting their paws on it." The others nodded in agreement.

"Hmm…" Aaron muttered, crossing his arms. "This answers quite a few questions as to the motives of our enemy…but there's still one thing I don't get."

"What's that?" the Bagon asked.

"He wants to know what all of this has to do with the Door beneath Treasure Town," Sabrina predicted.

Aaron nodded. "If Oblivion's Shadow wants whatever evil is behind the Door, then why is he bothering with the Planet Seed? If he wants the Planet Seed, why is he bothering with the Door? What is it he seeks to gain by obtaining and/or destroying either one? Each on its own is enough to potentially destroy the world, so why is he pursuing both?"

"To cover all his bases?" Raiki suggested.

"Or because there is more to his plans than what we have gathered so far…" Nuken said.

"No matter what he's up to, we need to stop him from destroying Pokemon Square and gaining access to the Planet Seed," said the Mayor. "The fact that he's searching for the Star Badges as well as mobilizing the barbarians indicates that he's getting desperate, not only because his previous attempts have failed, but also because his time is running out."

"Running out? What do ye mean?" Scotty asked.

"The Seed is nearing maturation, isn't it?" Sabrina perceived.

Nurse Joy nodded. "It's reaching the final stages of development. In the very near future—months or weeks from now—it will finally germinate and transform to fulfill its destiny. If we can hold out against the barbarians and whatever else Oblivion's Shadow throws at us until then, we'll win. If not…" She didn't bother finishing her sentence. All of them understood how serious the consequences of failure were.

"So it's a war of attrition…I hope our supplies and defenses will be able to hold out that long," Aaron said.

"Hey, with all the firepower we're going to be able to bring to muster, we'll certainly put up a good fight. If those brainless barbarian boobs come around, we'll make sure they regret ever trying to attack Pokemon Square!" Raiki said confidently.

"Indeed! They will regret challenging our combined might!" Nuken agreed. "We will crush them and restore order to this continent once and for all!"

"Just so long as it's not only _your_ order you're restoring," Scotty said. Nuken grunted noncommittally, and the Bagon rubbed the back of his head Mareepishly.

Nurse Joy's egg pouch started vibrating, interrupting the conversation. "Hmm? Oh, hold on a second, this might be important, I told my daughters not to call me if it weren't urgent," the Blissey said, digging into the pouch and pulling out her cell phone. "Nurse Joy speaking. Slow down, honey, I can barely understand a word you're saying…wait, what was that?" Her eyes widened in astonishment. "Oh my!"

Everyone tensed. "What is it?" Aaron asked in concern.

"It's-" Joy started.

"Latias has awakened from her coma," Sabrina announced.

Joy scowled at the Xatu. "It's rather annoying when you do that, you know." Sabrina shrugged unapologetically.

"Latias is up? Thank goodness!" the Bagon cried in relief.

"It's about bloody well time," Scotty grunted.

"Now that she's awake, maybe we can find out why the summoning spell backfired," Raiki said.

"Or what she knows about our enemy's plans and how to thwart them," Aaron agreed.

"This would be a good opportunity to find out what's going on," the Mayor agreed. "Hopefully the Guardian of Light can provide some insight into our dilemma. And since she's going to be helping us a great deal, I suppose you can tell her about the Planet Seed and Mew and everything else, assuming she doesn't know already."

"I thought Sabrina brainwashed us so we couldn't tell anyone else," the Bagon said.

"Anyone else _except_ for Latias," Sabrina corrected. "And possibly Latios, since I doubt she can keep secrets from her brother. I always plan ahead. It comes naturally when you're a seer."

"Mayor, I should go check on Latias and see how she's reacting to her…ascension? Transformation? Evolution?" Joy said, trying to find the right words to describe what had happened to the Eon dragon.

The Mayor nodded. "Very well. This meeting is adjourned. If Joy allows it and doesn't think it'll be putting too much of a strain on our divine guest in her current condition, you can all go and fill her in on the present situation and find out what she knows. I would come too, but…well, I don't do well on land."

"And yet you're part Ground-type," Raiki noted. "How does that work, anyway?"

The Mayor shrugged. "Heck if I know."

"We'll fill ye in on whatever we find out," Scotty promised. "Assuming ye won't already know by the time we come back. Ye're sneaky like that."

"A fish has to find ways to compensate for being limited to water," the Mayor said reasonably. "How else could I run a town this big?"

They departed for the Pokemon Center. "This is gonna be pretty neat…I've run into legendaries before, but the Guardian of Light is one of the really high-up deities! I wonder if she's bumped into any of my ancestors' spirits. She must have a ton of interesting stories to tell us," Raiki said.

"I hope she forgives me for ruining the summoning…" the Bagon said anxiously.

"We don't know that it _was_ your fault, my King," Nuken reminded him.

"I know, but I still can't help this crippling feeling of guilt and inadequacy," the Bagon said unhappily. "I still wonder what Rayquaza was thinking, giving me his power all those years ago. I was born to be an ordinary Dragon, not a god. I bet if he were still alive this wouldn't have happened."

"He is only dead because of Bellum's machinations…and because I allowed her to deceive me, something which I still must make amends for," Nuken said. "If there is any blame here, it lies with me."

Scotty rolled his eyes in exasperation. "Will the two of ye stop yer whining already?! Wait until we talk to the lass before heaping blame on yerselves! Och, some Pokemon…"

"I hope she will be able to shed some light on the mysteries still remaining," Aaron said.

"As do I," Sabrina agreed. "Perhaps she will be able to tell us what we need to do…and make the course of the future clearer not just for me, but for everyone."

They entered the Pokemon Center, hoping for more answers on the troubles to come.

…

Some time earlier, in the Twilight's Edge cemetery…

"There we go," Wabbaku said, peeling the last bits of moss off a gravestone and gently putting it in a small bag. "That should be more than enough for our purposes."

"Are you sure that's the right moss?" Jessie asked skeptically. "It looks a lot like all the other moss growing about this place."

"Positive," Wabbaku said. "This is the ingredient we came for. With this, we are one step closer to curing Mickey of his demonic affliction."

"How many more steps are dere?" Mickey asked.

"Not too many," Wabbaku said vaguely.

"Then let's get started on the next one, I don't like this place," James said anxiously. "There's Ghosts everywhere and most of the graves are open, as if something came out of them recently and could be wandering around as we speak looking for a meal!"

"They are," Wabbaku said. "A vampire necromancer revived a number of the bodies here to form a zombie army."

They jumped at this information. "He what?!" Gardenia cried.

"Why didn't you mention that before now?!" Jessie wailed.

"Chiiiiiiiiii!" Chimecho squealed in alarm.

"Don't let the zombies get me, Mickey!" James cried, hugging the Meowth.

"Don't worry Jimmy, you have nothing to worry about…after all, it's not like you have enough brains to give dem a good meal!" Mickey said. James scowled and smacked him.

"I didn't mention it because I did not think it was something we needed to worry about," Wabbaku explained. "The zombies are far away from here. They will not bother us."

"I hope so, for your sake…" Jessie growled. "I don't want to get eaten by a shambling rotting icky undead corpse!"

"Dey'd probably reject her what with her being so rotten to begin with," Mickey whispered to James, who snickered.

"I HEARD THAT!" Jessie shouted, bombarding them with Poison Stings. They wailed in panic and ran away.

"Don't worry, My Queen, I'll kill any zombie that lays a claw on you!" Buzz swore.

"Aren't they already dead?" Gardenia asked.

"Er…then I'll kill them again!" Buzz declared. Gardenia sweatdropped.

Wabbaku shook his head in equal parts bemusement and weariness, looking forward to the time when he would be able to leave these idiots behind for good. "You can do that some other time. Now that we have the moss, we should get going. To find the next ingredient, we'll need to go to the bottom of the ocean to find a rare strain of sea weed growing in the ruins of the sunken city of…" He stiffened abruptly.

"The sunken city of what?" Gardenia asked.

"Most cities have names, don't dey?" Mickey asked.

"All the good ancient ones do," James agreed.

"Bah, they probably couldn't afford one. Why else would it be at the bottom of the ocean?" Jessie scoffed. "They couldn't pay the rent anymore so it got repossessed by the ocean and sank to the sea floor!"

"…I don't think that's how that sort of thing works," Gardenia said, perplexed.

"And what do you know about real estate financing, huh?" Jessie snarled.

"…Everyone…the spirits wail…something wicked this way comes! We must flee, quickly, before-" Wabbaku started.

Abruptly, the temperature dropped several degrees, causing them all to shiver. Snow started falling from the night sky. "That's odd, I didn't think it was the right climate or time of year for snow in these parts," James commented.

Mickey stuck out his tongue and caught a snowflake on it. He made a face. "Ick…I like my dirt better. Something about this doesn't feel right…"

"Oh no…" Wabbaku whispered. "We're too late!"

The ground trembled, and suddenly enormous ice spikes erupted all around them, shattering nearby gravestones and ripping trees apart as the frozen jagged wall encircled them in a ring of ice. There was a swirl of snowflakes and ice crystals, and then a Froslass with a very sinister grin appeared nearby. "Mwehehehehe…greetings, fools…I am Bellum, mistress of the winter winds!"

"Yipe! Who's that?!" Jessie cried.

"Whoever she is, she makes me get frostbite just looking at her," Gardenia shivered, hugging herself.

"Everyone get back, she's a powerful witch!" Wabbaku warned them.

"More powerful dan Jessie?" Mickey asked skeptically.

"Yeah, when it comes to witches, there's nobody worse than her," James agreed.

A vein stood out on Jessie's forehead. "Rrgh…you IDIOTS!" She blasted both of them with Psybeam, causing them to cry out in pain.

Bellum snickered. "You punish your imbecilic subordinates for their incompetence with pain? I approve. A shame I'm going to kill you, there's a lot someone like you could learn from one as experienced as I."

"Bellum! What do you want with us?" Wabbaku called. "We only came here to collect some moss to cure our companion of a grave illness. We did not mean to intrude on your territory. If you will allow us to leave in peace, we shall depart at once."

"I'm afraid I can't do that," the Froslass said with a cold smirk as she glided towards them, causing them to draw back in fear (and from the chill that accompanied her). "You see, you have something I want."

"What, the moss?! We had no idea it was yours! We promise we'll give it back!" Jessie said anxiously.

"What?! But I need dat to-" Mickey protested.

"Not now, Mickey!" Jessie hissed.

The Froslass chuckled. "The moss? I have no use for it, shaman. Your 'sick' friend, on the other hand…" Abruptly, she vanished in a flurry of snowflakes and reappeared behind Mickey, causing him to almost jump ten feet into the air when she put an icy hand on his shoulder. "Is just what I'm looking for. The demonic taint poisoning his soul could prove most useful to my plans…especially after I've sped up its growth and turned him into a full-fledged demon!"

James gasped. "No, not that!"

"I don't wanna be a demon!" Mickey wailed.

Wabbaku ground his teeth. "I was afraid of this…"

"W-we won't l-let you t-t-take him w-without a f-f-f-fight!" Gardenia stammered as she pointed her arms at the Froslass, the cold taking its toll on her.

"Is that so? Very well then. If it's a fight you want, it's a fight you'll get!" the Froslass said, waving an arm. A Blizzard blasted out from around her, the snow and icy winds buffeting the other Rockets and knocking them head over heels away from her. Chuckling evilly, she rose into the air, dragging the kicking and screaming Mickey with her. "Allow me to introduce you to some friends of mine…they'll be sure to give you a _cold_ welcome as they make sure this graveyard becomes your frozen tomb!" She raised her free arm, cold power gathering in her hand.

"Get down! She's casting a spell!" Wabbaku cried as he rummaged through his medicine bag, trying to find a counter.

He didn't get the chance. The Froslass cast her spell at the ground, exploding in a flash of white light and a flurry of snow that covered the ground in ice. Sections of ice quivered and split apart as a half dozen or so creatures clawed their way out from beneath the surface, revealing themselves to be humanoid skeletons made of ice with dreadfully sharp spears and gruesomely shaped skulls. "What are those things?!" Jessie cried.

"Whatever they are, I'll protect you from them, My Queen!" Buzz promised her.

"Mickey! Give him back!" James cried, ignoring the advancing ice monsters in lieu of his lover, held in the clutches of the evil snow sorceress.

"Assuming you can survive my minions, I'd be happy to return him to you," the Froslass crooned. "By that point, however, he may no longer consider you a friend…especially after I've completed his transformation into a demon!"

"No! Not dat! Anything but dat! I don't wanna be a demon!" Mickey shouted.

"You do not have much choice in the matter, slave. From now on, you belong to me!" the Froslass exulted.

"No!" James gasped.

"Say farewell!" the Froslass howled, laughing malevolently as snow and ice crystals started swirling around her.

"No! Jimmy! JIMMY! HELP MEEEEEEE!" Mickey screamed as he and his captor vanished in a burst of snowflakes.

"MICKEY!" James shrieked.

"We will rescue him if we can, James! But first we need to survive these monstrosities!" Wabbaku said, using Counter to cover his body in an orange glow which deflected an ice spear thrown at him right back at the skeleton that had hurled it, skewering it through the rib cage. Undeterred, the skeleton gripped the spear and pulled it out of its chest, then continued stalking towards the shaman.

"What are these things, anyway?" Jessie asked, firing Psybeams at two of the skeletons. The energy blasts obliterated their skulls…which didn't slow them down considerably, especially when their craniums reformed seconds later out of snow and ice particles floating about in the air. "They're not dying when their heads explode! What kind of monster doesn't die when its head explodes?!"

"Allow me, My Queen!" Buzz said, using SonicBoom. His wings glowed white, and then he flapped them hard, firing a shockwave at the skeletons marching towards Jessie that shattered them into bits of ice and snow.

"Oh, great idea, Buzz! Sonic attacks should pulverize them! Chimecho, use Astonish!" James ordered.

"Chiiii!" Chimecho chimed, opening his mouth and releasing waves of red energy as he made a horrible noise. James used Mimic to copy him, and soon both of them were screaming so horribly that their friends winced and covered their ears in pain, and Jessie and Buzz were knocked out of the air. The skeletons trembled violently and shattered, dissolving into piles of tiny ice crystals littering the frozen battlefield.

"We did it!" James exulted triumphantly.

"Chiiiiiiii!" Chimecho chirped happily, wrapping his tail around James's head.

"My Queen…are you there?" a dazed Buzz asked, compound eyes filled with swirls.

"Uhhh…my head…" Jessie moaned, antenna twitching in pain.

"Nice job, you guys! That should-" Gardenia started as the ringing in her ears died down.

"Gardenia, look out!" Wabbaku cried in alarm, waddling towards her as fast as he could.

Gardenia blinked. "Huh? What-"

"BEHIND YOU!" a horrified James shouted.

She turned around just in time to see a nearby skeleton finish reassembling itself from the pile of ice shards and lunge towards her. "Ack!" She sidestepped to avoid the skeleton's spear jab, and then shot forward with Drain Punch, smashing a fist swirling with bright green energy into the monster's rib cage and causing its entire upper body to shatter. "Ha! That should show…" Much to her astonishment, the ice chunks that had been scattered by her punch suddenly reversed their trajectory and converged around her fist, reassembling the skeleton's torso with her arm stuck in it up to the shoulder. "Aaahhh! No! No! Wabbaku, save me-" Her pleas for aid were cut off when the skeleton touched her with a chilly claw, causing her to instantly be frozen in a block of ice. The monster ripped her out of its chest, snapping off the arm stuck in its ribs in the process, and carelessly dropped her to the ground.

"NO!" Wabbaku cried. All around them, the other skeletons had rebuilt themselves as well, and were eager to renew their attacks on the hated warm-blooded Pokemon.

"My Queen, look out!" Buzz cried as he saw a skeleton reach towards Jessie, who was still dazed from the double Astonish. He surged forward, tackling her out of the way and taking the blow in her place.

Jessie gasped as her loyal admirer, now frozen in a block of ice, fell to the ground. "B-Buzz? NO!"

"Aaaahhhh! What are these things?!" the terrified James shrieked, clutching the wailing Chimecho. "I thought they were dead!"

"They are creatures created from pure elemental magic," Wabbaku said, rummaging through his medicine bag. "Which means they are not easily defeated."

"Can _you_ defeat them?" James asked.

"I can," Wabbaku said, his mouth set in a grim line. "But the results may not be pleasant…James, Miss Jessie, get behind me! This could get messy!"

"What are you doing?!" Jessie cried as she, James, and Chimecho joined the shaman, the pursuing skeletons drawing back their spears to fling the killing blow.

"What better way to destroy ice than with fire?" Wabbaku asked, pulling out what looked like a bundle of dried grass. "Spirits of fire; power of the sun, of spring, of hearth, come forth! Incinerate the unrighteous! Melt evil's wintry clutches! By the authority of the ancestors, I command thee to ignite and arise!" He dropped the bundle and pulled up a Mirror Coat to shield him, Jessie, James, and Chimecho at the same moment the skeletons hurled their spears at them.

The instant the grass hit the ground, it ignited in a burst of flame, and an enormous pillar of fire rose into the air, causing the Pokemon nearby to flinch as the heat washed over them, only barely deflected by Wabbaku's shield. The skeletons hissed and staggered away, steam rising from their forms as the ice on the ground melted. The pillar split apart into three serpents of flame, each with a ghastly expression on its face, and swooped down on the skeletons. The ice monsters, recognizing their natural enemies, tried to run, but were consumed by the flames, not even given a chance to evaporate or cry out as the fire spirits blasted them out of existence. Fireballs and embers and heat waves rippling off their writhing forms, the spirits flew chaotically around the battlefield, destroying the remaining skeletons and scorching the earth black in their wake. The ice walls melted the instant the fire spirits approached them, and the flaming serpents shot out across the cemetery and exploded in the distance, sending a rain of fireballs flying all over the place. Tombstones and crypts were demolished. Earth was scorched and burned up. Trees were set on fire. A ghoulish wail and howls of laughter echoed across the graveyard, and then all was silent, save for the crackling of flames.

"Wow," Jessie said after a long moment when Wabbaku finally lowered his barrier.

"I think I need a new pair of pants," James whimpered.

"You never had any pants to begin with," Jessie pointed out.

"Exactly why I need some new ones," James said.

"Ch-ch-ch-chiiii," Chimecho chattered, terrified by what had just transpired.

"Wabbaku, what just happened?!" Gardenia asked as she limped over, missing one arm and her body burned black by the flames.

"Gardenia! You are all right?" the Wobbuffet asked in relief.

"Those fire things thawed me out…and kind of burned me up," Gardenia said. "That wasn't very nice of them."

"They are spirits of fire, Gardenia. 'Nice' isn't really a term you can ascribe to them," Wabbaku said. "As I have said before, fire spirits are incredibly dangerous and unreliable, and are as likely to kill the shaman who summons them as well as whatever they are called to burn up. I only summoned them because I could see no other way to defeat those ice monsters and save us…and even then, it was very close."

"No kidding," James said. "I don't think I've been this scared since Mewgle tried to kill us all…with a children's card game!"

"My Queen, I am all right as well!" a very badly scorched and singed Buzz said as he wobbly flew over to them.

"I don't really care," Jessie said, causing him to facefault. "But…uh…thanks for saving me. I guess."

"It was my pleasure, My Queen!" Buzz said, compound eyes turning into hearts. "I will throw down my life as many times as is necessary to protect you!"

"Um…good. You do that," Jessie said.

"Gardenia, are you all right?" James asked. "You're all burnt! And missing an arm."

"I have salves for the burns," Wabbaku said, reaching into his pouch. "The arm I can't do anything about, though."

"Don't worry; it'll grow back eventually, right?" Gardenia said.

"Er…probably," Wabbaku said, not looking too certain.

"Well, I guess we showed that witch, didn't we?" Jessie crowed as Wabbaku applied some medicine to Gardenia's burns. "She'll think twice before messing with Team Rocket again!"

"But she didn't actually mess with us, she just kidnapped Mickey and ran off, leaving some minions behind," James said. He paused, then gasped in horror. "Wait…Mickey! I almost forgot! We need to save him before that horrible womon turns him into a demon!"

Wabbaku nodded. "That's right, I had almost forgotten as well. Gardenia, I'm sorry but I'll have to finish treating you later, Mickey needs us more right now."

"That's okay. I can barely feel the burns anyway," Gardenia said bravely.

"That would be because a large number of your nerve endings were killed along with tracts of your skin when you were thawed," Wabbaku told her. "That's a bad thing."

"Oh," Gardenia said.

"I suppose that explains why I can see some rather large holes in my wings, but I don't feel much pain…yet…" Buzz murmured.

"I'll try and fix you up later too, Buzz," Wabbaku promised. "And if I can't, I'm sure Nurse Joy can. There should be one in town, there usually is."

"Yes, yes, but all of that can wait for later, because now we need to save Mickey! Come on!" James said urgently.

"Fine, fine, let's go! Er…but which way?" Jessie asked uncertainly.

"The spirits say she went…this way. Follow me!" Wabbaku said, setting out across the graveyard. The other Rockets followed.

Shortly, they came upon what was obviously the Froslass's lair, a large crypt that had been covered completely in a great shell of jagged ice. "This could be a problem…" Buzz murmured as he gazed at it.

"No problem! Wabbaku, use those fire spirits again to melt it down!" Jessie commanded.

Wabbaku sighed. "Weren't you listening to what I said before? Fire spirits are incredibly dangerous, unpredictable, and have a penchant for destruction. If I tried to use them to break through the ice, they might also level the entire crypt, burying Mickey beneath tons of stone…assuming they don't just break in and burn him alive, that is."

James paled at the thought. "Oh my..."

"In any event, even if I wanted to summon them again, I couldn't. Due to the incredible danger inherent in calling them, I only brought one bundle of flamegrass to use in case of emergencies. Now that it's used up, I can't call the fire spirits again until I go back to my home village and get some more."

"Can't you call some other spirits to get through that thing?" Gardenia asked.

"Not without possibly killing Mickey…" Wabbaku murmured.

"Ohhhh…then what are we supposed to do?! We can't just _leave_ him in there!" James moaned in despair.

"We're not going to," Jessie said firmly. "I think I know another way in…one that doesn't rely on magic or capricious spirits!"

"I'm all for it, My Queen!" Buzz said loyally.

"…Buzz, you don't even know what it is yet," Jessie said.

"That may be true, but I'm sure it'll be a good one, since you thought of it!" Buzz said.

Jessie sweatdropped. "Er…right…"

"What's your plan, Miss Jessie?" Wabbaku asked.

"And how will it save Mickey?!" James asked desperately.

Jessie smirked. "It's quite simple, really. You see this ice shell?"

"Yes," Gardenia said.

"It's covering the tomb on all sides, isn't it?" Jessie asked.

"Yes, to make it impossible for us to get in," Wabbaku said.

"Au contraire! There's one side of this thing that isn't covered. Can you guess what it is?" Jessie teased.

They all considered this for a moment. "The inside?" James guessed.

"No," said Jessie.

"The…sides only visible from the fifth dimension and above?" Buzz suggested.

"No!" Jessie said, getting annoyed.

"The…" Wabbaku hesitated, slowly getting the picture. "The _under_side?"

"Precisely!" Jessie said, relieved that _somebody_ had figured it out.

"Oh, of course! It's so simple!" Gardenia cried. "We can get in by digging under the ice!"

"Chiiii!" Chimecho chimed.

"A brilliant plan, My Queen! As always!" Buzz said slavishly.

"Well, of course it was! I thought of it!" Jessie said, laughing triumphantly.

James got a determined look on his face. "All right! Let's do this! We'll be able to save Mickey in no time, now…after all, if there's one thing Team Rocket is good at other than being blown up and flung long distances without dying upon landing, its digging holes!"

…

Meanwhile, in Sam Michel…

Near the center of the City of the Sun was a great tree known as the Solar Tree. The fruit that grew from this tree was known as Solar Fruit by some, though pretty much everyone else called them apples, since that was what they were. The Solar Tree was a sacred tree which helped protect the city from the undead scourge ravaging the rest of the world. The Tree was tended to by the Worldly Maiden Lita, a fairly pretty Eevee. She was neglecting her duties at the moment, however, due to the arrival of a very good…_friend_ of hers…

"Oh! Masters Jango and Otaku! I did not expect you to have returned from your latest campaign against the Immortals so soon! Did you succeed in your mission?" Lita asked, trying to hold back the blush which always came to her face whenever Jango was nearby.

Jango smiled and nodded. He was an Espeon wearing a gray long-sleeved shirt and yellow trousers with red and gold armor pieces on his shoulders, lower arms, chest, legs, and tail. He had a long red scarf, goggles, a jetpack, a utility belt, and holsters for his special solar-powered weapons including the vampire-killing Blaster del Sol. He was carrying his helmet, a red and gold metal piece with an antenna on the side and a T-shaped black visor, under his arm. "Yes Lita, the people of San Michel no longer have to fear Dark Matter polluting their water supply and bringing the Undeadening to this city," Master Otaku, Jango's mentor and companion, a Sunflora with a very large nose, told the Worldly Maiden. "Jango also managed to purify (re: kill) his nemesis, the Countess of Groundsoaking Blood, who was leading the water-poisoning operation."

Lita blinked. "The Countess of…didn't you and Master Jango purify her last week?"

Jango grimaced. "And the week before that, and the week before that, and the week before that," Otaku said with a sigh. "She doesn't seem to be very good at staying purified. It's kind of annoying."

"Oh well…" Lita sighed. "I'm sure you'll defeat her for good sooner or later, Master Jango! And…um…did you find Master Saboba?"

Jango shook his head sadly. "I'm afraid not," Otaku said regretfully. "The Countess wasn't boasting about Saboba being on their side or anything, so it doesn't seem as if he's been abducted as part of a larger evil plan…not yet, anyway."

While Jango was the Solar Hunter and wielded the power of light and the legendary Blaster del Sol, his Umbreon brother Saboba, as the Dark Hunter and Moon Beauty (don't ask) held the power of darkness along with the Blaster Del Hell, Jango's weapon's counterpart. Saboba had an irritating habit of vanishing soon after every time Jango defeated a big Immortal plot to destroy the world, only to reappear sometime later brainwashed or possessed or tricked into helping the legions of the undead. It was more than a little frustrating. "Well, I'm sure he'll turn up again sooner or later," Lita said optimistically. "Hopefully not evil this time."

"I wouldn't count on it…" Otaku muttered doubtfully.

"Anyway…Master Jango, you've saved San Michel again! I don't know what we'd do without you. Please, if there is anything that I can do to repay you for your kind deeds, anything at all…" She leaned forward suggestively, heart racing and blushing fiercely.

Jango thought for a moment. Then he reached up, plucked an apple off a low branch, and started eating it. Lita sweatdropped. "Oh…well…if that's what you desire…"

"Hey Sam, I know what I desire!" a short lagomorphic…thing commented.

"What's that, little buddy?" a tall canine…thing in a gray suit, hat, and striped tie.

"Cheese! So long as it's not in a can," the lagomorph said.

Otaku gasped in horror as Sam and Max approached and hid behind Jango. "Jango! It's them! They're back! Don't let the short one eat me!" Jango quickly drew his gun and pointed it at Max. Sam retaliated by drawing his gun and pointing it at Jango. Max drew _two_ guns and crossed his arms, pointing one at Sam and the other at Jango.

Lita gasped. "O-oh my! I'll…just get out of the way…" She quickly retreated to a safe distance. While she was trained in barehanded combat, that didn't really help much against someone who was packing heat.

"Max, where did you get the second gun?" Sam asked Max, not seeming particularly perturbed that it was pointed at him.

"Flint gave it to me for my birthday," Max said.

"Is that so? I should have a talk with him about that, it's bad enough I let you walk around with _one_ loaded weapon, two is just asking for trouble!" Sam said.

"Jango, what are you waiting for? Shoot them! You remember the trouble they caused the last time they were here!" Otaku cried from behind the Espeon.

"It wasn't that bad, was it?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, we caught the bad guy, didn't we?" Max asked.

"Yes, and in the process you nearly burned down the Solar Tree, drove Saboba temporarily insane, caused the city to be flooded, woke up a giant undead duck that came _this_ close to destroying the world, and almost ate me!" Otaku shouted.

"Oh yeah…good times, huh?" Max said.

Otaku turned red with anger. "You…ugh…ah…grarghhle!"

"All that's water under the bridge, which as we all know, vampires can't cross unless they float under in their coffins," Sam said. Jango shook his head. "Oh, that doesn't work? Never mind, then. In any event, we're here because we have a little problem and were hoping you could help us take care of it, just like we helped you solve your problem the last time we were here."

"Solved?! You made things WORSE!" Otaku shouted.

"Worse? Or _better?_" Max asked.

"That…that doesn't even…gah!" Otaku cried out, veins bulging on his forehead. Curious, Jango lowered his weapon and gestured for Sam to go on. Sam holstered his gun (and forced Max to do the same) and started explaining the situation. "We just left a world that's currently being threatened by a powerful—but ambiguously gay--vampire. He's trying to raise an army of zombies that he'll use to take over that world!"

"Using stylish dance moves," Max said.

Both Jango and Otaku frowned at this. "An army of zombies? Oh dear…it sounds as if this vampire seeks to make that world like ours…one where Pokemonity is all but extinct, and the undead roam everywhere…and the fact that he's a good dancer only reinforces how big a threat this is!"

"The vampire in question is named Jurgen," Sam continued. "He may not seem like much more than a whiny emo teen at first glance, but he's faster and stronger than he looks. We took care of him once in the past, but he's come back more powerful than ever."

"Yeah, they have a tendency to do that," Otaku admitted. Jango nodded sympathetically.

"He's become immune to all conventional vampire-slaying weapons save for one: the power of the sun!" Sam said.

"Actually, we never checked to see if he was weak against whips," Max said.

"We don't have any whips," Sam said.

"Those Weepinbelmont guys do," Max pointed out.

"Hmm, that's true. Well, if Jango doesn't help us, I guess we could go ask them instead," Sam admitted. "Then again, considering that they've been fighting the same vampire for centuries and never seem to be able to kill him for good doesn't say much for their track record." Jango fidgeted, and Otaku wisely decided not to mention the Countess.

"So he's still weak against sunlight?" the Sunflora asked instead. "Why don't you just grab him while he's sleeping during the day and expose him to the sun?"

"Because his lair is in a land where the sun never rises," Sam explained.

"Which means you can boogey all night long, since the night is all there is!" Max said.

Jango and Otaku exchanged alarmed looks. "A land where the sun never rises? Oh my…this does sound serious…" Otaku murmured.

"Actually, the inhabitants prefer it that way. However, it does make things a bit difficult for vampire slayers," Sam said. "So we thought, since you have the power to call upon the Sun's power even in the darkest night…"

Otaku nodded. "That's right, as the terrestrial embodiment of the Sun's will I can use Sunny Day to power Jango's solar weapons and activate the Immortal-purifying Piledriver even when it's dark out. Hmm…yes, I can see why you'd come to us for help, then. We could use the Sun's power to pierce the darkness this 'Jurgen' is using to protect himself and rid the world of his evil presence."

"If you could rid the world of his bad poetry while you're at it, I for one would be a lot happier," Max said.

"Does that mean you'll help us?" Sam asked.

Otaku glanced at Jango, who nodded. The Sunflora sighed. "Well…I honestly don't trust you two further than I could throw you—which isn't very far—but we can't stand by and do nothing as another world is consumed by an undead scourge. All right. We shall help you defeat this 'Jurgen' and his army. So long as nobody tries to eat me."

"I make no promises," Max said.

"I figured you'd say that," Sam said, putting away his gun. "Follow us back to the DeSoto, we'll take you to him."

Otaku smirked. "That won't be necessary. We've recently acquired our own method of transportation…the Coffin Cycle!" Jango grinned, looking forward to riding his bike.

"You guys have a motorcycle?! Cool!" said Max. "Sam, can I get a motorcycle?"

"Not a chance in Hell, little buddy. The last time you got your hands on one of those things, you broke almost every protocol in the Geneva Convention," Sam said.

"I would've broken the rest of them if I hadn't run out of gas," Max said wistfully.

"In any event, I'm pretty sure the car would get jealous if you used another vehicle," Sam pointed out.

"Yeah, then it'd go crazy like that possessed car in that book written by that one guy…" Max recalled. "I think it was titled, 'The crazy stalker chick that came back from the dead to haunt a car and kill people.' A good read. And meal."

"Let's hope the car's never read it. Or seen the movie," Sam said. "We wouldn't want it to get any…ideas…"

Otaku raised an eyebrow. "Er…do you want us to purify your car too, while we're at it?"

"What? No way!" Max cried indignantly.

"Perish the thought! It's like part of the family, and not the type we're happier only seeing once a year during the holidays, either! And besides, if you 'purified' it, how are we supposed to get home?" Sam asked.

"Well, all right…if that's what you really want…" Otaku said skeptically. "Come on, Jango, let's juice the Cycle up and get ready to go!" Jango nodded eagerly. "Lita, sorry to cut this visit short, but business calls. You know how it is."

Lita sighed. "I do indeed. Be careful out there, you two! Master Otaku, try not to get kidnapped again. And Master Jango, don't let your dark side overwhelm you and turn you into an out-of-control Black Jango again, you know how much it aggravates your brother to have to knock some sense into you…though he seems to enjoy the fighting part, probably because he gets to pay you back for all the times you've beaten _him_ up to get him back to normal."

Jango nodded, grabbed an apple for the road, put on his helmet, and went off with Otaku to get the Coffin Cycle. Lita watched as they rode off into the distance next to Sam and Max's rather unsettling demonic DeSoto, leaving San Michel—and her--behind. "Master Jango…please come back in one piece…" she whispered, a tear rolling down her cheek. "I will always wait for you."

…

Meanwhile, in the Olive Jungle…

"Gary?" Evan asked.

"Yes Evan?" Gary asked back, keeping his eyes on the road.

"I have a quessstion," Evan said.

"What is it, Evan?" Gary asked.

"The Sssummerland island isss sssupposssed to be a jungle island, right?" Evan asked.

"Yeah. Hence why we're in the Olive _Jungle_. Why do you ask?" Gary asked.

"Then…can you pleassse explain to me WHY WE'RE DRIVING UP THE SSSIDE OF AN ICCCY MOUNTAIN?!" Evan screamed, jabbing his tail rattle at the tremendous towering jagged snow-topped peak looming over them as they drove along the twisted road winding up its craggy sides.

"Simple, the race's producers probably put it there to make the event more interesting," Gary said. "Probably for the same reason we got attacked by giant robot Pokemon a few hundred yards back."

"They weren't anatomically correct, if you asssk me…" Evan grumbled.

"You're just upset because you mistook one of them for Hissssa," Gary said.

Evan flushed. "D-don't be preposssterousss, like I'd ever missstake one of thossse impossstorsss for my beloved two-headed ophidian goddesss!" He sighed. "Do you think ssshe missses me at all?"

"Could be," Gary said distractedly. "Evan, I don't mean to be rude—shocking, I know—but now is not the best time for this conversation, I'm trying to stick to the road and the Abomasnow throwing boulders at us really aren't helping matters."

"Get off our mountain!" an Abomasnow roared as it hurled a boulder at the Mach 6.

"You don't belong here!" another shouted as it threw its burden.

"Go back to where you came from!" a third cried as it picked up another rock.

"And drive around making lots of noise there!" a Snowver said, flinging pebbles.

"Why'd you bring the kid here, Lou?" one of the Abomasnow asked another.

"I wanted to show him what his old mon does all day. He wants to grow up to roar and throw stuff at mountain climbers just like his dad some day!" Lou said proudly.

Gary was able to swerve out of the way of most of the bigger boulders, but the smaller rocks pelted the Mach 6's chassis, leaving serious dents and ruining the paint job, something Torque would be very displeased about. Gary had raised the Deflector to make sure that neither he nor Evan got brained by any of the projectiles and so the upholstery wouldn't get scratched. "Why are there Abomasssnow here, anyway? They aren't indigenousss to thisss island!" Evan pointed out.

"The producers probably moved them here along with the mountain," Gary reasoned. "What's a towering snowy peak without an Abomasnow or two to harass people?"

Team Nightshade wasn't the only car getting attacked by Abomasnow. Fortunately, the other Racers were equipped to deal with this sort of thing, and were defending themselves in whatever way they could. The bash-happy Sledge Brothers knocked the boulders back at the Abomasnow when they weren't whacking each other on the head with their hammers. The Volbeat Mob stuck their rear ends out of the windows on the side of their sedan and fired waves of Signal Beams to repel the rocks. Professor Pattie Penda and her assistant Beakley pressed a button that caused a giant spring to pop out of the top of their Change-O-Mobile that bounced the rolling boulders away from them (and into the paths of the other Racers). The Blue Baron drove his plane off the side of the road, thinking he'd just fly it up the side of the mountain and avoid all the fuss…only to go tumbling down in a tailspin due to the fact that he had forgotten once again that his vehicle was more of a car/plane hybrid and so could not actually fly, much to his chagrin. Good thing he always carried a parachute…too bad there wasn't a spare for his beleaguered and put-upon sidekick, the Red Mitch.

"Guess this is farewell, old bean," the Baron said, preparing to bail out.

"Oh no you don't, if I'm going down, I'm taking you with me, you dirty bastard!" the Mitch roared, jumping at the Baron just before he leaped out of the plane, catching the Quagsire by the tail as he opened his parachute.

"Ack! Let go! This thing isn't meant for two!" the Baron cried as they started tumbling after their doomed plane, parachute flowing uselessly out behind them as it was overcome by Mitch's extra weight.

"I'm not letting go until you let go!" Mitch—who was a Magby, if anybody cared—snarled angrily.

"…That doesn't even make sense!" the Baron protested.

"_I don't care!"_ Mitch replied.

Fortunately, the parachute caught on a tree branch conveniently growing out from the side of the mountain, arresting their fall. Unfortunately, the branch promptly broke, causing them to drop again. Fortunately, they landed on a slope. Unfortunately, they started sliding down it to a rather large mass of sharp jagged rocks at the bottom. Fortunately, the ground collapsed before they could hit the rocks and they landed in a cave. Unfortunately, the cave was home to a hibernating Ursaring, and their entry woke him up. Fortunately, he was a vegetarian. Unfortunately…

Look, to make a long story short, they survived. Somehow. But they never raced again. Or got anywhere near each other again, thanks to all the lawsuits and restraining orders. But that's a story for another day.

The story for today features Rick Recreant and Chumley, still in dead last. The Abomasnow were throwing boulders at them, too, but Rick's car was covered in armor plating strong enough to deflect the rocks, so they harmlessly bounced off the vehicle. The constant percussion was rather irritating for the car's occupants, though. "Ugh, can somebody, like, turn down the noise?" Penelope Perfect, who was a beautiful and incredibly stupid Flaaffy, whined. "I'm, like, getting a headache."

"I should be driving. If I were driving, people wouldn't be throwing boulders at us. They'd be throwing flowers. And chocolates. And womon," Peter, a handsome but vapid and vain Floatzel complained.

"Will the both of you shut up?! I'm the only one who drives this thing! Ugh, what was I thinking, rescuing the two of you from that river? I should have just left you to get eaten by those Feraligatrs and their Carvanha friends!" Rick growled.

"I recall you thinking that Penelope might go on a date with you," Chumley said glumly.

"Like, ew, no way! He's, like, way too ugly! And, like, _mean_," Penelope said, face scrunched up in disgust.

"Why was I ever attracted to her?" Rick wondered out loud.

"Because she has enormous…ears?" Chumley suggested.

"That's, like, right, they are big, bigger than all the other, like, Flaafy's! And I have, like, the softest and shiniest wool too!" Penelope said, fluffing her wool.

"It is rather nice," Chumley admitted.

"Shiny," Peter drooled; staring at Penelope's…wool.

"Yeah, like, really," Penelope said, staring at it in a daze.

Rick gnashed his teeth. "Will all of you shut up?! How am I supposed to drive with you nattering on and those Abomasnow bombarding us?! I can barely think straight!"

"Like, thinking is hard," Penelope complained.

"Yeah, that's why I don't do it much," Peter said. "I just smile and look pretty and everything works out in the end."

"That's, like, so insightful," Penelope said. "Let's, like, make out!"

"Okay," said Peter. They started kissing and groping each other.

"Uh, Rick, I think we're going to need to replace the back seats," said a rather grossed-out Chumley. "Especially once these two…consecrate them."

"Oh, that is IT! That's the last straw!" Rick snarled, reaching for a button labeled 'Ejection seat.'

"Wait, Rick! You can't do that!" Chumley protested.

"Why not?!" Rick demanded.

"Because that's the button to eject the _front_ seats, the one for the back seats is right here," Chumley said, pointing to a different button.

"Ah. Good eye, Chumley," Rick said, pushing the indicated button.

The roof of the car slid open over Penelope and Peter, who were too busy making out to notice. They realized something was wrong when their chairs started vibrating, though. "Baby, either the Earth is moving under our feet or something's wrong," said Peter.

"Like, maybe it's a massage chair?" Penelope suggested. "I, like, totally love those!"

She was proven wrong when both the chairs launched upward on giant springs, flinging the celebrity couple through the opening above them and out of the car. "Waaaaahhhh!" Penelope yelled as they soared through the air. "What's, like, going on?!"

"We're going to crash into something! I hope I don't land on my face, because then my acting career will be over…but if I land on my butt, then everything I did to get an underwear modeling contract will be screwed too…and if I land on my feet, I could break a nail! Either way, I'm ruined!" Peter sobbed pathetically.

"And, like, my fur will get all dirty and stuff! And I'll, like, break a nail, too! Oh gosh, this is, like, so totally sad! Why do bad things always have to, like, happen to beautiful Pokemon like us who never, like, did anything to anyone other than being prettier and nicer and richer than, like, everybody else? Like, waaaahhh! Like, waaaahhh!" Penelope cried as she and Peter fell down the side of the mountain.

The Abomasnows gasped. "Omigosh! Is that celebrity couple Peter Pitstop and Penelope Perfect?!" one of them cried.

"They're my favorite stars!" another squealed.

"Come on, if we can save them we might be able to get their autographs!" said a third.

"And maybe a date!" Lou said eagerly.

"Dad, what would Mom say if she heard that?!" the Snowver asked in alarm.

"I'd say it's fine because I'd be getting a date with Peter in the meantime!" his mother, who was standing right next to him, screeched. The Snowver sweatdropped.

The Abomasnow rushed down the mountain after Penelope and Peter, leaving their task of throwing boulders at racers for another day. "Huh, that went better than I expected," Chumley commented as Rick sealed up the roof again.

"Yes, we killed two Pidgeys with one stone! I got rid of those irritating imbeciles _and_ those annoying Abomasnow! I hope they enjoy each other…" Rich cackled evilly.

"So, now that they're gone, what's our next (inevitably doomed) plan to win the race?" Chumley asked.

"Well, we could…" Rick paused. "…Huh. You know, I'm not really feeling it."

"What?! Seriously?!" said the startled Chumley.

"Yeah. I'm in too good a mood from getting rid of those pests to try pulling something now," Rick said. "Why don't we hold off on cheating until the next leg of the race?"

"Well, uh…sure, I guess we could do that," Chumley said, staring at his partner in disbelief. "Are you sure you're feeling okay? This doesn't sound like you. You've never skipped up a chance to cheat before."

"Look, don't push it, okay?" Rick snarled, getting annoyed. "Besides, I can't think of any way to cheat right now that won't backfire on us."

"Our cheating always backfires on us," Chumley pointed out.

"More so than usual, then," Rick said.

Chumley shrugged. "I can live with that."

Further up the line, Team Nightshade was continuing up the mountain trail. "I wonder where all thossse Abomasssnow ran off to," Evan commented, glancing behind them.

"Who cares? So long as they don't bother us anymore," Gary said with a carefree shrug.

"Yeah…" Evan frowned. "Gary, have you noticcced that we're almossst at the top of the mountain by now?"

"Yeah, so?" Gary asked.

"Well…have you ssseen any sssign of a road going back _down_ the mountain? Or where the couple of racccersss ahead of usss have gone?" Evan asked.

Gary frowned. "Hmm…that's a good point, Evan. We are pretty far up…check the map, I hope we didn't make a wrong turn somewhere."

Evan looked at a screen on the dashboard that displayed the route they were supposed to be following. "Well, let'sss sssee…the road goesss to the mountain…then ssspiralsss up around it…then…goesss away from it sssomehow." He squinted. "But…it doesssn't look like the road goesss back down or sssomething. Maybe we're sssupposssed to reach the top, turn around, and then go back the way we came?"

"That can't be right, though, this is a single-lane road and we haven't seen the cars ahead of us going by," Gary pointed out. "Hmm…something fishy's going on here."

A few minutes later they reached the top of the mountain and found out what it was. The road opened out onto a relatively flat snow-covered plateau and led straight into a very large open metal cylinder perched on the edge of the peak pointing somewhere off into the distance. The inside of the cylinder was lined with the 'boost' panels Gary and Evan had seen on other portions of the racetrack already, tiles which somehow gave cars that drove over them a temporary burst of speed to push them ahead of the competition (or right into it, depending on how close the cars were to each other).

Gary hit the brakes, bringing the Mach 6 to a halt. The duo stared at the giant cylinder for several moments in disbelief. "Well," the Gengar said finally. "I guess that explains why we haven't seen any other way down the mountain."

"They're going to ssshoot usss out of a cannon?!" Evan wailed. "That'sss too much, even for usss! We could get killed! Well, _I_ could, anyway!"

"I don't think we have much of a choice," Gary said, glancing back the way they had come. "The other racers will be here any minute, and I doubt they'll have any compunctions about using that thing. Or crashing into us for stalling right in the middle of the road."

"But…" Evan sighed. "Oh, all right. I jussst hope there'sss a sssafe landing on the other ssside! Then again, knowing our luck…"

Gary shifted into gear and accelerated towards the cannon. "Brace yourself, this is gonna be one hell of a ride!"

"I'm bracccing, I'm bracccing!" Evan wailed, wrapping his coils around his seat.

They entered the cannon at full speed. The instant their front wheels hit the first boost panel, they were launched forwards, accelerating faster and faster as they hit each successive boost until they blasted out the other end and shot through the air at unimaginable speeds. They moved so fast that they broke the sound barrier, sonic booms echoing in their wake as they flew away from the mountaintop (they did not, however, go above Mach 2, so their car's name was still not entirely accurate).

"WAAAAAHOOOOOOOO!" Gary shouted, exhilarated.

"I'M GONNA HUUURRRRLLL!" Evan, pressed very far back into his seat, wailed.

"IF YOU DO, TORQUE WILL KILL YOU!" Gary reminded him. Evan gulped and swallowed, tasting vomit. It was not pleasant.

To watch the Mach 6 soar through the skies was truly a remarkable and inspiring sight…however, cars were not built to fly (unless they were flying cars), so inevitably they had to return to the ground. Evan was not looking forward to that. "WE'RE GONNA CRASH!" he screamed when he saw they were angling back towards the ground, hurtling at a distant road through the jungle faster than he would have liked.

"OH NO WE'RE NOT! NOT WHILE I'M DRIVING!" Gary said, pushing a button on the steering wheel. The auto-jacks popped out from the bottom of the car with a springing noise. As the car hit the ground, the jacks absorbed the impact and bounced the Mach 6 back into the air. The car rose up a considerable distance before landing on the jacks again, bouncing a few more times down the road at successively decreasing heights before finally coming to a creaking, hissing, steaming stop.

"Ha! I knew that would work!" Gary boasted. Abruptly, the jacks broke under all the strain they had just been forced to endure, dropping the Mach 6 onto the road with a thud that shook the vehicle and caused the car to rock on its tires. "Oops. Torque's not gonna be happy about that."

"BLEAAARGH!" Evan bleaaarghed as he threw up all over the dashboard.

"Or that," Gary said.

"Ugh…am I dead yet?" Evan moaned.

"Afraid not," Gary said.

"Damn…could you kill me, pleassse? I feel ssso awful…" Evan groaned.

"Maybe later. Right now we need to get going before the other racers-" Gary was interrupted when the Sledge Brothers' car landed right on top of them. Followed by the Volbeat Mob. And Professor Pattie Penda. And Lazy Luca and Blabber Bear, creating a five-car stack. And then Rudy Roughcut and Bigtooth crashed into them, sending all the other cars flying like bowling pins. "Arceusdammit."

"Ugh…all right youse bugs, get da license numbers of da guys who did dat, we're gonna send 'em all to sleep wid da fishes!" Al, head of the Volbeat Mob, growled to his subordinates as they tumbled out of their sedan, now lying on its side.

"You mean we'll send dem to a hotel on da beach, boss?" Ding-a-dong, the stupidest member of the gang, asked.

Al nodded. "Yeah…a really cheap one, wid no room service or hot water, during hurricane season, near a coast where dey've got a nasty waterborne bacteria epidemic!"

The Sledge Brothers looked dejectedly at the pieces of rubble that was all that remained of their car. "Dis your fault!" Boulder the Golem snarled, hitting his brother.

"No, dis your fault!" Mulch the Golem replied, hitting him back. They bonked each other on the head repeatedly with their hammers, forgetting they were in the middle of a race.

"Ohhh…Beakley, remember not to turn the voltage up so high in the next experiment…" the Professor said in a daze.

"Beep-beep!" Beakley replied.

"Stop bawling, Blabber, it's just a scratch!" an exasperated Luca said to her Ursaring partner, who was sobbing uncontrollably over an 'injury' he had received in the crash.

"But it really huuuuuuurts!" he wailed pitiably.

"Well, we certainly felled one heck of a tree," Rudy the Farfetch'd lumberjack joked.

"Yes, now if only we could use it to repair our car," Bigtooth the Bibarel said mournfully as he looked over their wrecked vehicle, which was made out of wood. "I suppose it's a good thing we're in a jungle with lots of trees to use as building materials."

"If we're in a jungle, then why did we just drive up an icy mountain?" Rudy asked.

Bigtooth shrugged. "The producers must've thought it would make the race more interesting. That's probably why they added the giant robot Pokemon, too."

"They were pretty anatomically incorrect…they could have put more effort into making those accurate," Rudy complained.

It was at that moment that Rick Recreant and Chumley's car landed, and since the other racers had been knocked all over the place by the crash, the road was completely open for them, with no obstacles to prevent them from getting ahead. "Well, would you look at that, Chumley! The other racers have incapacitated themselves without me needing to lift a finger! Now there's nothing to stop us from winning the race!" Rick gloated.

"Uh, there's still three other cars ahead of us," Chumley pointed out.

Rick paused. "Oh. Drat. Well…then at least we won't finish in last for a change!"

"I like the sound of that!" Chumley said. Laughing evilly, they drove off, leaving their competitors in the dust. The racers quickly started mending their vehicles to try and get them in working order and catch up to Rick and the others before one of them could win.

"Gary, we have to go after them!" Evan hissed.

"I know, Evan! Hold on, I'm going full throttle!" Gary said, shifting into gear, stepping on the accelerator…

And reversing into the recently righted Volbeat Mob's sedan, knocking it back over and causing it to land on top of the insects. "Aaaiiie!" Donny cried.

"Da pain!" Kirby wailed.

"My spine! It's broken!" Ding-a-dong shouted.

"You don't have a spine, you're a Bug!" Rug Bug Billy said.

"I don't? Oh. Den whatever's where my spine would be if I were a vertebrate is broken!" Ding-a-dong moaned.

"When I get out from under here, whoever did dis is gonna regret it for da rest of deir lives, which won't be very long!" Al swore angrily.

Gary sweatdropped. "Oops."

"I can't believe you did that again!" Evan said in exasperation.

"I told you before; I'm not used to a stick!" Gary said. The air bags abruptly deployed, pushing both of them back into their seats. "What, this again?"

"I really hate you sssometimesss," Evan mumbled through the airbag smothering him.

Back at the start/finish line, Torque was cursing and smashing his head repeatedly into the seat in front of him, much to the annoyance of the Koffing sitting in it. "I am ruined! Ruined! RUINED! Those idiots will make me a laughingstock; I'll never be able to show my car on an official racetrack ever again! I should never have let you talk me into-" He paused, realizing for the first time that Maren and Mary were absent from the seats next to him. "Huh? Hey, where'd they go?"

Later, once it had become clear just where the girls had gone and what they had been doing while he and everyone else had been distracted by the race, Torque would wish even more vehemently that he had never gotten involved with Team Nightshade, because if he hadn't, things might have turned out differently and his life would not have changed as drastically as it was going to in just a matter of hours.

If he hadn't, he might never have accepted the offer a fellow seeker of vengeance made to him, and become the latest to join the seeker in his quest for payback…

…

And that's the last chapter before Spring semester starts. Wow. I didn't expect it to be this long, either. Hope it's not too much for you all!

Anyway, what do you think of these latest developments in this story's myriad plots? Bet you didn't see some of _this_ coming! Other than the obvious one. You know which one.

See you next time, for some climactic showdowns!


	36. Eight Faces of Evil

Spring semester's started, and so has the next chapter of our epic tale. With this, the Twilight's Edge arc comes to a close, though events in the other relevant subplots should continue into the upcoming 'interlude' chapter as usual.

Ready for Ash to get his body back and pummel Brodie to a pulp? Then read on!

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters that don't belong to me.

…

The belfry atop Yamatorochi's temple was full of activity as Team Aurabolt returned to the tower chamber with the intention of destroying the evil serpent's bell and foiling the wicked Ditto Brodie's plans forever. Even if they were unable to get their lost friend Ash back, at least they would make sure the identity thief could not go through with his plot to acquire the forms of one hundred and eight captured Ghost Pokemon. It would be a pyrrhic victory, but a victory nonetheless.

Having ordered everyone else away from the temple site for their own safety, the heroes had set up what they would need to destroy the bell and were almost done with the ceremony they were using to gather the power necessary to shatter the artifact. A half dozen of Master Yon's prayer slips had been stuck to the sides of the bell, and energy violently crackled around them as the vile artifact sought to repel their blessed touch. Pikachu, who would be the one to deliver the fatal blow—since his ancestor had slain the bell's master a hundred years ago using the same weapon—had his eyes shut and the sacred sword Thunder Fang raised before his face, cheeks crackling as he concentrated his electrical power into the blade to increase its own holy might. Yamiri stood beside Pikachu, chanting from some holy text and swaying slightly back and forth while Leo, Sasha, and Tiny, wearing robes the Squirtle had been carrying for just such an occasion, marched in a circle around the room. Leo had obtained a pot of incense on a stick from somewhere (probably another thing he had brought just in case) and was enthusiastically swinging it around and causing some of its contents to slosh out all over the place, Sasha was somewhat reluctantly tossing confetti here and there from a bag around her neck, and a very bored Tiny was monotonously beating on a drum.

Standing on the roof of the temple above them and watching the proceedings using Aura-sight was the nefarious shapeshifter Brodie Imite, still in the Lucario form he had stolen from Ash. When messages had been sent all over Dusk Forest saying that Team Aurabolt had figured out a way to destroy the bell, Brodie had heard the news and grown anxious. He knew it was likely they were bluffing—after all, if the great hero Susanoo couldn't break the thing, what chance did his grandson have?—but Brodie decided that it was too risky to let them go through with it on the off-chance that they _did_ know how to destroy the bell, because if they did, then all his hard work over the past few months would be undone and he'd need to find some other way to obtain enough transformations to beat his cousins at the upcoming contest back home.

And besides, even if they were faking, they were still all gathered here in one place, giving him the perfect opportunity to kill them all and add their DNA to his own. He eagerly looked forward to testing out his newfound Aura power against them and seeing whether they could defeat someone using the strength of their dear doomed friend Ash.

He watched as the Sableye priest stopped his chanting and turned to Pikachu. "It is done," he announced loudly, causing the others to stop what they were doing. "I have infused your sword with the power of the moon and Arceus' blessing. Strike true, and cleave this evil bell in two!"

Pikachu opened his eyes and nodded. "It's what I've waited for all my life." He drew the sword back, tensing his muscles for the deciding blow.

And it was then Brodie knew for certain that they were faking the whole thing. He knew as much about Aura as Ash did—because, for all intents and purposes, he _was_ Ash—and since the nimbus of power around Thunder Edge hadn't changed at all, he knew that whatever spell Father Yamiri had 'cast' on it was a phony. If he knew more about Auras he would probably have been able to read their hearts as easily as some of his Psychic forms could read minds, but he could still glean enough from their emotions to confirm it was all a trick. Leo was practically sweating anxiety, Pikachu, Yamiri, and Sasha were radiating anticipation and the slightest hint of worry, and Tiny…well, Tiny was giving off spikes of boredom, indifference, and general loathing for all things, but from Ash's memories Brodie knew that was the Larvitar's default emotional state. The whole thing was a ruse cooked up for him, to lure him to the temple so that they could trap him and force him into telling them how to change Ash back. Well, he certainly hadn't fallen for it!

Or had he? He was here, after all, which must have been what they had wanted to happen. And the Absol _had_ to know he was there, what with her disaster-sense, and it was possible Leo's sunglasses might have picked him up too, despite how careful Brodie had been climbing up the tower. And yet, if they _did_ know for certain he was there, nobody was acting on that knowledge. Were they waiting for him to reveal himself? They had to know he wanted to eat them, too…if that were the case, then he'd just leave and pick them off individually later. He didn't sense any obvious traps laid about the room, but they couldn't have set all this up without some plan in mind to capture him other than just ganging up to beat him, his stolen memories told him they were smarter than that. Unless they were just desperate due to the fact that time was running out for Ash, so weren't thinking straight. Or maybe that's what they wanted him to think? In which case…

He ground his teeth in frustration, mind going in circles. What were they up to? Trying to figure out how much they knew that he knew that they knew was ridiculous. Logically, they must have come up here and put on this charade because they were hoping to trap him—possibly using his own mandala—and make him change Ash back to normal. That wouldn't work since Ash wasn't there—Brodie didn't see him anywhere—but Brodie had no intention of getting caught, which meant the best course of action was just to leave. Unless they intentionally made it look like they had no elaborate scheme to catch him to disguise their _real_ plan to snag him, which involved him falling for their double bluff and leaving, which is exactly what they _wanted_ him to do, meaning he should stay where he was. Unless _that's_ what they wanted him to think, meaning he should go, unless he should stay, unless he should go, unless…

As Brodie's mind tore itself apart in confusion and paranoia (blame the form he was in, Ash's brain wasn't designed for such convoluted reasoning), he was so distracted in trying to figure out what he should do that he didn't notice Lily materializing behind him with a rather large fireball over her head until it was too late. The Misdreavus hurled the flaming orb at his back--the faux Lucario's reflexes not warning him in time due to his brain's current state of befuddlement—and the explosion snapped him out of his mental debate too late for him to stop himself from smashing through the roof and falling into the belfry. His mind cleared and his instincts kicked in in time so that he landed on his feet, but the damage was done and he was now exactly where Team Aurabolt wanted him.

"Ah, there you are," Pikachu said, turning around and pointing his sword at Brodie as Lily floated through the hole in the ceiling. "We were wondering when you'd drop in!"

"What the…what's she doing here?!" the Ditto cried in astonishment. "That's Bellum's daughter, isn't it? Why is she helping you?!"

"Because they're my friends," Lily said firmly.

"We helped her get away from her mother…and in return, she's agreed to join our team, just like I predicted she someday would!" Leo said smugly. "Did I call it or what?"

"Leo, you can be a bit of an insufferable genius sometimes," Pikachu commented.

"Yeah, I know," Leo said unashamedly.

"We have you right where we want you, evil one," Yamiri said, raising his mace. "Now you shall answer for your crimes!"

_Crap_, Brodie thought to himself. He thought he knew how to fight the rest of the team, but he had never engaged Lily directly so didn't know much about her moves other than that she was pretty good at fire magic, which a Steel-type like he currently was was vulnerable to. He wasn't sure he could take all of them on at once as he was then. He tensed his muscles, ready to make a dash for the exit…

Only for a ring of fire to spontaneously rise around the staircase, as large walls of flame appeared in front of all the gaps in the wall, sealing the room. "No! My curtains! Do you have any idea how much I had to pay for them?!" he cried as the drapes he had hung in some of the openings were incinerated.

"Oh, sorry," Lily apologized.

"Pay? We thought you stole them," Sasha said.

"Well, yeah, but do you know how hard it is to find curtains that match the carpets in this town?" Brodie asked. They sweatdropped. "What are you guys doing?!"

"What, you didn't think we'd really give you an opportunity to escape after putting so much effort into getting you here, did you?" Pikachu asked with a smirk when he saw the alarmed expression on the faux Lucario's.

"Actually, I thought you wanted me to think I was supposed to come in, when what I really should have been doing was running away, unless that was what you wanted me to think you thought I thought, in which case I should have come in, unless that was what you thought that I thought that I thought that you thought, in which case-" Brodie started, getting cross-eyed as he tried to explain his reasoning.

"Never mind, we don't really care," Pikachu interrupted.

"It always gets confusing when people do that," Leo said.

"All right, fine, if there's no way out, then let's fight!" Brodie said, raising his fists. "I have all of Ash's powers and memories, so I know all your moves and how to counter them! And if that doesn't work, then I can just Transform into something that will!"

"Oh, we know that," Pikachu said.

Brodie blinked. "You do?"

"Yeah, which is why instead of engaging in a long drawn-out fight where you could try and pull a shapeshifter guilt trip on us to torment us and shake our resolve, we're just going to have Lily set you on fire," Leo said. Lily nodded in agreement.

Brodie blinked. "Wait, what-" He screamed in agony as he spontaneously burst into flames. "GAHHHHH WITH THE BURNING!"

"That's right, burn, burn in the flames of perdition for your sins!" Yamiri cried righteously. Tiny sucked his pacifier.

"Setting people on fire with your mind is a very useful skill," Sasha commented to Lily.

"Um, thanks?" Lily said uncertainly.

"I suppose it must also be useful for cooking meals," Sasha said, considering the ways she could use Lily's fire magic to burn the corpses of prey and make them more edible.

"You'd think so, but Mother always liked her food cold," Lily said.

Sasha frowned. "That sounds like her. I used to prefer my meals raw as well, but more recently I've taken a liking to meat prepared by various other means, most of which seem to involve some method or other of heating it. They taste more interesting that way."

"They do, don't they?" Lily agreed, warming up (bad pun intended) to the topic. "Mother never liked it when I experimented with food. Am I to understand that you have no problem with that sort of thing?"

"None at all, as long as the end result tastes good," Sasha said.

Lily smiled, again experiencing the 'happiness' that came from being around people that honestly liked her. "Then I will do my best to satisfy your appetite."

"Should I be disturbed that we're essentially watching someone who looks exactly like Ash burn to death?" Pikachu asked.

"I'm not disturbed. Are you disturbed?" Leo asked.

"No. I feel like I should be, though," Pikachu admitted. "It's morbidly fascinating."

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OH ARCEUS IT HURTS!" Brodie shouted.

"Okay, enough playing around, let's get him into the mandala already," Pikachu ordered.

They positioned themselves so that the burning Lucario was between them and the circle under the bell and blasted him with their attacks, flinging him into the spell seal. It also put out the fire, since Leo had added a Water Gun to the mix. An enraged Brodie rose to his feet, eye smoldering and Aura flaring to life around him (or were those some lingering flames left over from Lily's attack?). "Okay, that's _it,_ now I'm going to-" he started only to freeze mid-sentence when Leo froze him with Ice Beam.

"I love doing that to people," Leo confessed. "Is that wrong of me, or is it okay if I only do it to the bad guys?"

"Let's not dwell on that for too long. He's going to break free any second, so let's get this started!" Pikachu pulled the red Star Badge out of his pack and flung it into the mandala as the others threw off their robes. "Lily, get Ash in here!"

"Right!" Lily opened a portal just outside the mandala that lead to Twilight's Edge's town hall. Ash, who had been waiting on the other side, hopped through immediately.

"Hey, you caught him! Nice work!" Ash complimented when he saw the frozen Brodie.

"Ash, get into the mandala quickly. I have to perform the spell while you, he, and the Star Badge are all in there together and before he can escape or else it won't work!" Lily said.

Ash nodded. "Right. Let's do this!" He ran into the mandala as the portal, its purpose served, closed behind him.

"Is Ash in position?" Yamiri asked.

Lily nodded and pulled out her spellbook. "Yes. Everything is in order. Now I just need to recite this incantation." She opened the ancient text to the proper page and started chanting something in a language that only Yamiri and Leo had the slightest inkling of understanding, due to both of their research into the arcane arts. The lines of the mandala began glowing with mystic power.

The ice block in the mandala cracked and shattered in a blaze of blue flames as a furious Brodie broke free from his prison. "Okay, enough is enough! Now I'm gonna…huh?!" He started when he noticed Ash was in the circle with him. "You! What the…what are _you_ doing here?!"

Ash smirked. "Your plan failed, impostor. You thought that nobody would be able to find me like I am now, but you were wrong! Tiny and Lily were both able to see me, Tiny because of his bond with me and Lily because she's a witch. By working together with my other friends, we came up with this plan to defeat you…that's the power of teamwork, something you'll never understand!"

"Oh, I understand better than you'd think…I have your memories after all," Brodie countered. "But none of it makes any difference, because without my name, you can never take your identity back! Once that witch is finished with her hokey voodoo, I'll bust out of here, change into something big enough to kill them all, and-"

"Brodie Imitie," Ash said.

Brodie froze. "_What_ did you just say?!"

"Your name is Brodie Imite," Ash repeated.

Brodie's jaw dropped. "But…but that…that's not possible! How did you find that out?! I was so careful!"

"It was on Bulbapedia, you idiot!" Leo yelled. "Did it ever occur to you to edit your page there once in a while?"

Brodie winced. "D'oh!"

"We have you right where we want you, Brodie," Ash said triumphantly. "It's crowning for you!"

"…Um, I think you mean checkmate," Brodie said.

Ash blinked. "Right. Checkmate. What did I say?"

"It doesn't matter, because I'm getting out of here right now, and then-" Brodie started, only for Lily to cry out the last word of her spell in a voice that echoed throughout the room. The Star Badge lit up. "Oh, bollocks."

There was a brilliant flash of red light. When the glare died down, where once there had been two Lucarios, one fake and the other invisible, now there was one Lucario and one very unhappy-looking Ditto.

"Yatta!" Leo shouted triumphantly.

"It worked!" Sasha said.

"He's back to normal! Great job, Lily!" Pikachu said.

Lily blushed. "I…th-thank you."

"I'm here…" Ash whispered, looking himself over in wonder. "I'm really me again…I'm back!" Tiny waddled over and glomped Ash's leg. Both of them were relieved when the Larvitar didn't pass through his leg this time. "I'm happy to see you too, Tiny," Ash said, bending down to hug his ward.

The rest of the team rushed over. "Ash, it's good to see you again…literally!" Leo said.

"You're looking pretty good for a guy who almost didn't exist," Pikachu quipped.

"Welcome back," Sasha said.

"Are you feeling all right?" Yamiri asked in concern.

Ash nodded as he stood back up. "Yeah, I think so. Everything's the way it should be…thank you, all of you, for saving me." He smiled at Lily. "And especially you, Lily. None of this would have been possible if it weren't for you. I'll never forget this."

Lily turned even redder. "I-I was just doing what any real…'friend' would do. (I think.) I was happy to help you, especially after everything you've done for me."

Ash nodded. "Well, once we get out of here I'll do something else for you by swearing you in as a member of Team Aurabolt and giving you your official badge and everything. But first we've got to take care of a few loose ends, like pummeling that twerp Brodie!" He turned around…and found, much to his surprise, that the Ditto was gone. "Huh? Where'd he go?"

"Oh no!" Lily moaned. "He escaped!"

"Oh come on, don't tell me he ran off while we were distracted!" Leo groaned. "I thought we were smarter than that…"

"He can't have gotten far, all the exits are sealed," Yamiri pointed out.

"Which means he must still be somewhere in this room…" Ash closed his eyes and scanned the belfry with Aura-sight. It didn't take him long to spot Brodie. "He's…right there!" Ash shouted, pointing at the bell above them.

His senses were spot-on, as usual. The evil Ditto had perched himself on the bottom of the bell's clapper over their heads. "Those Aura powers of yours really are a pain…" Brodie growled. "Too bad I didn't get to exploit them to their fullest when I had the chance…but once I devour you all, I'll have all the time I need to master them!"

"What, you still think you can beat us?" Pikachu scoffed.

"Now that I'm back to normal and we have a new teammate in Lily here, you don't stand a chance!" Ash agreed.

"No matter what monstrous form you take, I doubt it will be able to withstand the combined might of the seven of us," Yamiri added.

Brodie grinned evilly. "Don't be so sure of that…I have a special Transformation I've been holding back. I didn't want to use it because of what might happen as a result…but you meddling Pokemon have given me no choice!"

"Whuh-oh," said the alarmed Leo. "Looks like he's gonna use a desperation move…which means it's gonna be something really powerful and really dangerous!"

"Whatever it is, we can handle it," Sasha said.

"Oh yeah?" Brodie asked. "Do you really think you can handle something like the legendary power of Yamatorochi?"

They gasped at this. "What? Yamatorochi?!" Yamiri cried.

"I was worried about something like this…" Leo muttered. "I knew we'd run into that guy sooner or later!"

"Impossible. My great-grandfather killed Yamatorochi one hundred years ago, and he disintegrated once all eight of his heads were cut off. There was nothing left of him for you to eat to use to change into him!" Pikachu pointed out.

Brodie smirked. "Normally you'd be right, but…think about it. A guy cuts off eight monster heads, right? So there's gotta be a lot of blood spray from a multiple beheading like that…most of which wound up covering his old bell here, which the Arcean priests who sealed this thing away never bothered to wash off. The blood was pretty old and crusty when I found it, but I was still able to extract enough DNA from it to add Yamatorochi to my arsenal of transformations!"

Pikachu's eyes widened in horror. "No!"

"Wait, would that work? I thought he needed to _eat_ Pokemon to turn into them," said the confused Ash. "Not just their blood. If he could do the latter, that would make him a vampire, not a cannibal. Or something."

"No, he said he needed to consume their genetic material, and the most efficient way to collect enough DNA was to eat them whole," Leo corrected. "But if the Arceans never bothered washing off Yamatorochi's blood, it should have been preserved pretty well up here for the last hundred years thanks to the seals they put on it, and still had enough viable DNA left intact for Brodie to use to replicate Yamatorochi's form!"

Yamiri groaned. "I'm going to need to have a talk with whoever sealed the bell up here. Leaving blood or remains from a great evil on an artifact made from their power is probably not a good containment policy."

"Wait…if he acquires DNA by eating it, and the blood was all over the bell, then doesn't that mean that to gain Yamatorochi's power, he had to…" Sasha trailed off. Everyone's faces turned green, even Tiny's.

"Er…yeah…it wasn't my proudest moment," Brodie admitted Mareepishly.

"Dude, that's disgusting," Leo said flatly.

Ash nodded. "Even worse than most of the stuff Tiny tries to eat. Speaking of which, TINY, PUT THAT DOWN RIGHT NOW!" Tiny grunted and reluctantly obeyed.

"Okay, I know it's pretty gross, but it was all worth it! Now I can change into Yamatorochi and destroy you all!" Brodie said.

"Then why didn't you do it before now?" Ash asked.

"And for that matter, why didn't you just go back home once you'd gotten Yamatorochi's DNA and used him in that contest against your cousins rather than wasting all this time abducting Ghosts?! A transformation as rare as that _has_ to be better than anything they could muster, and certainly more powerful than whatever you could get from the Pokemon you've kidnapped!" Pikachu yelled.

"First of all, both quality AND quantity are being judged in the contest, so an ultra-rare transformation doesn't matter so much as having a _bunch_ of transformations to show off," Brodie said. "For another, I've been holding off on using Yamatorochi for a reason. As you may have noticed by now, my personality and mannerisms are affected to an extent by whatever form I take, hence why I was an overly intellectual jerk as a Metagross and obsessed with my 'babies' as a Vespiquen. I was worried that if I changed into a supernatural being as powerful as Yamatorochi, I'd lose sight of who I was and what my goals are. However, considering the mess you've all made of my plans already—and because I _really_ don't want to get splattered all over the place by you again—I've decided to bite the Bullet Seed and unleash my ultimate transformation, no matter what might happen as a result!"

"This is bad…if he transforms into Yamatorochi, it would be just as if the old serpent had been resurrected…" Lily said anxiously.

Yamiri nodded in agreement. "And he would go on a feeding frenzy, consuming the trapped souls below and possibly everyone in town as retribution for his earlier defeat!"

"Then let's blast him before that can happen!" Ash said, forming and hurling an Aura Sphere at Brodie. The Ditto laughed and slithered up the side of the clapper and into the mouth of the bell. The energy ball hit the clapper and exploded, rattling the dangling metal tongue but doing no damage. "Dammit!"

Leo grimaced. "I was going to recommend you not do something like that, due to the laws of drama dictating we need to have _some_ kind of big fight to make up for the anticlimactic way we forced him to give back your identity, but it's too late now. Oh well, at least we'll have a really cool boss battle!"

Lily blinked. "…Does he always have such an unusual way of looking at things?"

Pikachu sighed. "Pretty much, yeah."

"He hasn't changed yet, maybe it's not too late for us to-" Yamiri started.

Sasha stiffened. "It is now."

The clapper quivered and swung sideways, smacking into the side of the bell and causing it to ring across the land. DONG!

The heroes cried out and fell to their knees (those that had knees, anyway), clutching their ears (or approximation thereof) in pain. It had been bad enough hearing the evil bell ring down in the town, but being right under it when it went off made it feel like there was an Electrode exploding inside their heads. Naturally, Tiny started screaming at the top of his lungs, only making the situation worse. "GAH!" Ash shouted.

"WHY DIDN'T WE JUST ATTACK BRODIE WHEN HE WAS EXPLAINING HIS PLAN? THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN THE SMART THING TO DO!" Pikachu yelled.

"IT WOULD HAVE ALSO BEEN VERY RUDE!" Leo replied.

DONG! An evil wind blasted through the room, sending chills down their spines and extinguishing Lily's flames.

"WHEN HAS THAT EVER STOPPED YOU BEFORE? FOR THAT MATTER, WHY ARE YOU EVEN ACTING LIKE THIS? I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE GENRE SAVVY ONE, BUT NOW YOU'RE ACTING LIKE YOU'RE CONTRACTUALLY GENRE BLIND OR SOMETHING!" Pikachu yelled.

"OKAY, THE TRUTH IS I DIDN'T SUGGEST WE ATTACK HIM BECAUSE I WANTED US TO HAVE A REAL BOSS TO FIGHT," Leo admitted. "SINCE IT'S OBVIOUSLY THE END OF THIS LEG OF OUR ADVENTURE I FIGURED WE SHOULD FINISH IT WITH A BANG, RATHER THAN BEAT THE VILLAIN ANTICLIMACTICALLY LIKE WE DID WITH FORD!"

DONG! Dark clouds covered the Moon, blotting out the night sky.

Pikachu stared at Leo incredulously. "YOU…THAT…THAT'S JUST…SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE HELL, LEO?!"

Leo shrugged. "IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME."

"WHEN WE GET OUT OF HERE, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" Pikachu promised.

"IT'LL STILL HAVE ALL BEEN WORTH IT, THOUGH! I REGRET NOTHING!" Leo declared. "…EXCEPT HOW MUCH I'M GOING TO BE HURTING TOMORROW MORNING."

DONG! The townsPokemon looked up in fear, getting the feeling that something terrible—even more so than usual—was about to happen.

Lily stared at Leo in disbelief. "HE'S _INSANE!_"

"I KNOW! I THINK IT'S A REQUISITE TO BE PART OF THIS TEAM," Sasha said.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN?" Lily asked.

"LEO BELIEVES THE WORLD CONFORMS TO THE RULES OF FICTION—AND HE MAY BE RIGHT!—I'M A WILD FLESH-EATING POKEMON WHO HAS NO PLACE IN CIVILIZED SOCIETY, ASH IS A FORMER HUMAN THAT CONSTANTLY FORGETS HE'S IMMUNE TO POISON AND HAS THE WORST SENSE OF DIRECTION I'VE EVER SEEN, YAMIRI WAS A HOMICIDAL MANIAC WHEN HE WAS ALIVE, TINY IS EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE AND HATES ALMOST EVERYBODY, AND YOU'RE A FORMERLY EVIL WITCH WHO TALKS TO A VOICE IN HER HEAD," Sasha explained.

"WHAT ABOUT PIKACHU? HE SEEMS FAIRLY SANE," Lily said.

"WHICH MAKES HIM THE CRAZIEST OF US ALL, FOR STAYING AROUND MADMON LIKE US AND EXPECTING THE WORLD TO ALWAYS MAKE SOME KIND OF SENSE IN THE MIDST OF ALL THE CHAOS WE CONSTANTLY RUN INTO," Sasha pointed out. Lily had to admit that the Absol had a point there.

DONG! The evil carvings on the sides of the bell began glowing sinisterly, and the prayer slips Yamiri had fixed to their sides burst into flames and disintegrated.

"NO!" Father Yamiri cried in horror. "NOT EVEN YON'S SLIPS CAN CONTAIN THIS POWER?!"

"LILY, IS THERE ANYTHING WE CAN DO TO STOP THIS?!" Ash shouted, clutching his head. "AND TINY, PLEASE _STOP SCREAMING!_" Naturally, that only made Tiny yell louder.

"IF WE TRIED TO INTERRUPT THE TRANSFORMATION AT THIS STAGE, WE COULD TRIGGER AN INCREDIBLY VOLATILE BACKLASH OF NEGATIVE MAGICAL ENERGY!" Lily said.

"AS IN, A REALLY BIG BANG!" Leo translated.

"ISN'T IT ALWAYS?" Pikachu asked mournfully.

DONG! The bell's yoke cracked and shattered, the metal device halting mid-fall above their heads and floating ominously in the middle of the room. They backed away from the instrument, making sure to take the Star Badge with them as they vacated the mandala.

"THEN WE HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO FIGHT…AND HOPE THAT WE WILL BE STRONG ENOUGH TO DEFEAT THE LEGENDARY EVIL REBORN!" Yamiri said.

"OH WELL, AT LEAST IT SHOULD MAKE FOR A PRETTY GOOD FIGHT," Ash said, resigning himself to the coming battle.

"THAT'S WHAT I SAID!" Leo agreed.

DONG! Eight rivers of pink slime flowed out of the bell's mouth. The rivers curled and stiffened, solidifying into eight thick serpentine necks covered in pitch-black scales. Eight heads formed on the ends of the necks, each a snarling elongated mass of sharp teeth and forked tongues and evil red eyes and horns that looked more like the kind of head you'd expect from a Dragon Pokemon than from a snake. A colored horn crest shaped like an element formed atop each of their brows; a red flame, a blue drop of water, a green cyclone, a brown rock, a purple skull and crossbones, a yellow lightning bolt, a white sunburst, and a black spike. Each crest had the kanji for their respective elements inscribed on them, and made it clear what power the head they rested on commanded.

"HERE IT COMES…" Ash tensed up.

"THIS IS GONNA BE AWESOME!" Leo said enthusiastically.

"I'M REALLY GOING TO KILL YOU, YOU KNOW!" Pikachu shouted.

"COME ON, LIKE YOU WEREN'T ITCHING TO GET A CHANCE AT THE BIG SNAKE TOO AND PROVE YOURSELF TO BE AS BIG A MON AS YOUR GREAT-GRANDFATHER?" Leo retorted.

Pikachu hesitated. "WELL…MAYBE A LITTLE…"

"THIS WILL BE ONE OF OUR GREATEST CHALLENGES YET…" Sasha said, fur standing on end as her disaster-sense screamed.

"I REALLY HOPE IT DOESN'T EAT US…" Lily said anxiously. "THOUGH CONSIDERING MY UNLIFE SO FAR, IT WOULDN'T SURPRISE ME IF MY FIRST FLEETING MOMENT OF TRUE HAPPINESS ENDED WITH ME WINDING UP IN A MONSTER'S BELLY."

"DO NOT GIVE UP! WHERE THERE IS LIFE, THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE!" Yamiri told her reassuringly.

"…BUT WE'RE _NOT_ ALIVE. WE'RE GHOSTS," Lily pointed out.

Yamiri sweatdropped. "WELL…ER…THE SAME PRINCIPLE APPLIES TO US! AT LEAST, I THINK IT DOES…"

DONG! With a thunderclap and a mighty roar, the newly revived ancient demon landed on the belfry floor, the room shaking from its sheer presence. (Or something else?) "IIIIII LIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!" it howled in eight horrible voices rising from eight demonic throats.

"Neat," said Leo, taking a picture.

"He looks even more terrible than I imagined…" Lily murmured.

"Either way, my sword looks forward to drinking his blood…again, that is," Pikachu said.

"Does he even have blood? I mean, he's a Ditto," Leo pointed out.

"Whatever's flowing through his body, I'm going to shed copious amounts of it with this blade," Pikachu promised.

"And we'll make sure to clean it up this time, so nobody can use it for evil purposes again!" Yamiri said firmly. Tiny sucked his pacifier.

"So…who are you, exactly? Brodie? Yamatorochi?" Ash asked the eight-headed monster, recalling the Ditto's worries that his personality would be subsumed by the ancient serpent's if he transformed into it.

The beast laughed, which was rather terrible and migraine-inducing due to how cacophonic eight simultaneous monstrous cackles were. "Brodie? Yamatorochi? Who caresss? I have power now, and that isss all the identity I need! I can't believe I wasss afraid to Transssform into thisss beautiful creature…it'sss more powerful than I ever imagined! What wasss I thinking, wasssting my time collecting DNA to ssshow up my cousssinsss? With ssstrength like thisss, I can pursssue loftier goalsss more sssuited to thisss new form…goalsss sssuch asss-"

"World domination?" Leo guessed.

"Actually, I wasss thinking of getting a talk ssshow, but that'sss a good idea too!" Brodie said. They sweatdropped

"Well, I think it's safe to say that taking on Yamatorochi's form hasn't changed him _that_ much, intelligence-wise…" Sasha said.

"Eight heads, but not much brain between them," Ash agreed.

"Onccce I consssume the sssoulsss of everyone in Twilight'sss Edge beneath the light of the full moon, I will be ssso powerful none will be able to ssstand in my way again!" Brodie hissed evilly.

"I was afraid of something like this…" Yamiri murmured.

"But it's not the full moon," Lily pointed out. "It's only at half now."

There was an awkward pause. "Oh…well…whatever!" Brodie snapped. "I'll kill you and eat you anyway, then eat the one hundred and eight sssoulsss below usss, then dessstroy Twilight'sss Edge and devour all who dwell there! None will ssstop my bloody feassst!"

"Wrong," Yamiri said, brandishing his mace.

"_We'll_ stop you," Ash agreed, fists burning with Aura.

"With the same sword that slew you—or the original Yamatorochi, or whatever--I'll defeat you just like my ancestor did one hundred years ago," Pikachu vowed.

Brodie laughed again. "Oh really? Sssusanoo wasss only able to beat me—er, him—by absssorbing power from the Moon. But I've blocked out the Moon with thisss cloud cover. Without it, your sssword cannot pierccce my hide!"

Pikachu ground his teeth in frustration. "Damn…he's right!"

Brodie snickered. "I don't want a repeat of what happened the lassst time. Getting my headsss cut off _hurt_."

"…But you didn't get your heads cut off," Yamiri pointed out. "That was Yamatorochi, not you. You've only turned into him, you aren't _actually_ him…er…are you?"

Brodie paused. "Er…that'sss a good quessstion…and one I don't really care about anssswering right now! GET IN MY BELLY!" He lunged towards the heroes…

And fell away from view as the floor abruptly collapsed underneath him, sending him plummeting down the central shaft of the temple. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" He hit the ground with a crash that shook the entire building, nearly knocking the heroes off their feet and causing several parts of the roof and interior chambers to cave in.

They stared at the gaping hole where Brodie had just been in disbelief. "Well, that was anticlimactic," a disappointed Leo said finally. Tiny sucked his pacifier in agreement.

"What just happened?" asked an equally disappointed Pikachu, who had been looking forward to fighting the monster.

"Well…this place hasn't been maintained for over a hundred years…" Father Yamiri said slowly. "I suppose that the beast's weight, combined with all the damage we caused in the earlier battle, was too much for the floor to handle."

"Then is it over? Did we win?" Lily asked hopefully.

"I doubt it," Ash said.

"He still lives," Sasha agreed, fur still bristling. "The danger is not over yet."

They were correct. A second later, they heard screams from the chamber below them. "Ahhhh! Help! He's going to eat us!"

"Somebody stop him!"

"I don't want to get in his belly, I just got out of being inside a Spiritomb, I can't imagine a monster's stomach will be any pleasanter!"

"Yamiri, everyone, get down here at once! He is not beaten yet!" Master Yon's voice called up the shaft.

"Master!" Yamiri gasped. "Hurry, we must get to the ground floor before Brodie or Yamatorochi or whatever he wants to call himself now eats the one hundred and eight lost souls!"

"Uh, one problem," Leo said, glancing down the stairwell. "The stairs are out. When he fell through the floor, those things must've collapsed too."

"Then we're stuck up here?" asked an alarmed Ash.

"No," Lily said, concentrating and opening a portal. "This should take us to the ground floor! If we hurry, we can stop him before he eats them all!"

"Good job, Lily!" Pikachu said as they approached the swirling hole in the air.

"Yeah, I can't imagine you're feeling particularly eager to face a monster that could eat you ali…er, undead," Leo said.

"Neither of us are," Yamiri spoke up. "But we will face him if we have to, because that is what must be done. Isn't that right, Lily?"

"I…yes," Lily said with a nod. "Rescue teams help those in need, right? And…and I'm part of one now, so going to help those people below us is the right thing to do, no matter how scary or dangerous it might be."

"That pretty much sums up everything that Rescue Teams are supposed to do," Ash said approvingly. "You haven't even been with us for more than an hour, and you're already getting the hang of it!"

"Th-thank you. I'm just trying to emulate you all…" Lily said, flushing.

"Heh, we must make pretty good role models then!" Leo bragged. Ash and Pikachu exchanged bemused looks.

"Shouldn't we be hurrying down to fight the monster?" Yamiri asked anxiously. "He must have eaten at least half the Ghosts by now while we were talking up here!"

"Probably not," Sasha said. "Talking is a free action, after all."

"…What does that even MEAN?!" the priest asked in exasperation.

"We'll explain later. Maybe," Ash said. "Come on! Once more into the breach!"

"Yes, it is a breach in the fabric of reality. It's nothing particularly special," Lily said. The others sweatdropped.

"Let's just go through before something else happens," Pikachu said.

They jumped through the portal and found themselves on the main level of the temple. The captured souls were screaming in panic and frantically flying all over the place in the upper reaches of the room, desperately trying to keep from getting caught in the suction force caused by all eight of the evil serpent's mouths inhaling at once. The many-headed snake had survived the fall without a scratch, and was sitting in the rubble caused by his fall and the ruins of the statue that had once sat in the center of the room while attempting to vacuum up the prey above him. "Yamatorochi! Or Brodie! Or whoever you are now!" Ash shouted, getting the monster's attention.

"Stop that this instant!" Yamiri growled.

"Oh look, it's Team Aurabolt! They're here to save us!" a relieved Drifloon said.

"Hooray!" the other Ghosts cheered wearily.

"Yamiri, everyone, be careful! He is not one to be underestimated!" Yon warned them.

"Yeah, that's kind of obvious," Leo said.

Brodie snickered. "Ssso, you ssstill want to fight me, huh? Fine, the lot of you will make a good appetizer for my main courssse!" He drew back all eight heads and started inhaling, the crests on his foreheads glowing.

"Hit him before he can fire! He's going to shoot a multi-elemental blast!" Pikachu cried.

"That's also pretty obvious, but no arguments from me! Let's show him one of our own!" Leo yelled. They fired their attacks at Brodie; Ash using Aura Sphere, Pikachu shooting Thunder, Leo launching Ice Beam, Tiny throwing Hidden Power orbs, Sasha slicing a Psycho Cut, Yamiri spewing a Dark Pulse, and Lily hurling an enormous fireball. The attacks streamed towards Brodie…and exploded only inches away from him.

"It had no effect!" Yamiri said in alarm.

"Huh?! Don't tell me he's got a shield, too!" Ash groaned.

Pikachu snapped his fingers. "That's right, Yamatorochi was supposed to be protected from damage by a magical barrier!"

"Oops. Would've picked up on that if I had been wearing my shades…" Leo muttered, pulling them out of his shell and putting them on. "I'm starting to wonder if I should just wear these 24-7…but then they wouldn't be quite as cool…"

Brodie laughed. "A niccce effort…but have a tassste of REAL power!" All eight of his heads surged forwards at once, elemental blasts leaping from his mouths. The fire head used Overheat, the water head Hydro Pump, the wind head Whirlwind, the lightning head Zap Cannon, the rock head AncientPower, the poison head Toxic, the white head Hyper Beam, and the darkness head Dark Pulse.

"Oh shit…" Ash whispered as the eight incredibly strong attacks shot towards them.

"This is gonna suck!" Leo wailed, retracting into his shell.

"We can't stop that!" an alarmed Yamiri cried.

"Or avoid it, it's too big!" Sasha agreed.

"No…but I can!" Lily said, belting out a few phrases. All of them started to glow.

The eight blasts smashed into them, erupting in a terrific explosion that rocked the temple and dislodged more stones and tiles from the ceiling, clattering harmlessly off of Brodie's impenetrable shield. The Ghosts above gasped in horror. "No!"

"That can't be it!"

"They can't be dead…can they?"

"Yamiri…" Yon whispered.

Brodie threw back his heads and laughed. "Bwahahaha! I think I may have overcooked them a bit, but they ssshould ssstill be fit to…what?!" The smoke from the explosion cleared to reveal the heroes were still alive and apparently unharmed from the previous attack. "B-but how?! Do you have a barrier too?!"

"Uh, that's a good question, actually," Ash said, looking himself over in confusion. "How did we survive that?"

"Lily, did you call up a shield or something?" Pikachu asked the witch.

"No, I haven't quite gotten the hang of that yet. Instead, I used a Substitute spell to conjure doubles to take the hit for us so we'd remain unharmed," she explained.

"Cool! So it's like a ninja log technique!" Leo said.

"A what? On second thought, I don't really want to know," Sasha said.

"That is a very useful trick to know," Yamiri commented.  
Lily nodded. "Yes, I initially learned it to try and trick Mother so she would punish it in my place. It…didn't work very well…" There was an awkward silence.

"Let'sss sssee if it worksss asss well a sssecond time!" Brodie hissed, powering up for another salvo.

"Here we go again…" Ash grunted.

"If we split up and go around him, he'll be forced to divide his attention to focus on all of us. That also means his attacks will be weaker, since he won't be concentrating all of them on us at once," Sasha theorized.

"A good plan, but it won't help us counterattack him! We need to bring down that barrier if we're to stand a chance of defeating him," Yamiri said.

"I don't see any weak spots, though…that thing's pretty solid!" Leo said worriedly.

"Maybe I can find a spell to break it?" Lily suggested, pulling out her spellbook.

"That won't be necessary…I already know one thing that can get through it!" Pikachu said, glancing at his sword. "Ash, throw me at him like you did Leo earlier!"

"Huh? What are you…oh, I see!" Ash cried, realizing Pikachu's plan. He picked up his partner. "This might sting a little, though."

"I've gotten worse from you by now," Pikachu said.

"I wish that could be me again…" Leo complained. "I've gotta learn how to use a sword sometime. Especially if it's a laser sword! Because laser swords are awesome." The others sweatdropped.

"Everyone, fire at Brodie's attacks after I throw Pikachu," Ash said, focusing his Aura into his hands and causing Pikachu to start burning with blue flame. "That'll reduce the amount of flak he'll have to go through to reach that snake!"

"And when I do…that shield's coming down!" Pikachu promised, curling into a blue-burning ball.

Brodie exhaled, sending another wave of extremely powerful elemental blasts at the team. "Now!" Ash yelled, flinging Pikachu right into the cusp of the blasts. They immediately fired their own attacks to try and slow Brodie's bursts so they didn't hit Pikachu and impede his progress; Flash Cannon intersecting with Dark Pulse, Hidden Power colliding with AncientPower, Razor Wind blowing against Whirlind, Ice Beam freezing Hydro Pump, Dark Pulse crashing into Zap Cannon, and fire wheel igniting the cloud of Poison Gas. The Hyper Beam and Overheat kept streaming towards Pikachu side-by-side, but the electric mouse extended his sword and Iron Tail and started spinning, the Aura charge Ash had given him swirling around him and making him look like a blue version of one of Lily's attacks. His momentum, combined with the Aura infusion and his spinning blades, allowed him to slice through the attacks, embers and splinters of light flying all over the place. Brodie didn't have time to do anything but widen his eyes in surprise just before Pikachu struck…

Slamming right into his barrier sword-first. "Ha!" the monster laughed. "Niccce try…eh?" Much to his alarm, Pikachu hadn't rebounded off the barrier and was sticking fast to it, his sword actually piercing it partway and causing holy and unholy energy to crackle violently around him, the tip of the blade only millimeters away from the snout of the fire head. "N-no! Not again!" His other heads rushed over from the sides, jaws open to swallow the rodent whole…

But they were too late, as Pikachu released a powerful Thunder attack with a mighty cry, channeling his electricity, along with his borrowed Aura, through the sword and into the barrier. There was a flash of light and a sound akin to shattering glass as the barrier dissolved under the force of Pikachu's attack, Brodie's heads rearing back and howling in pain as the backlash from the destroyed shield rocked their forms.

"Yeah! He did it!" Leo cried triumphantly as Pikachu, flung back from the force of the destroyed barrier, rolled as he landed and was back up on his feet within seconds, charging back towards the raging serpent to renew the fray.

"Couldn't have done it without me," Ash said smugly, wincing as he tried to regain the Aura he had given to Pikachu.

"Now that the barrier is down, we can attack him directly," Yamiri said.

"Will that even work? I thought that only Pikachu's sword, infused with moonlight, could truly harm him," Sasha said.

"Yeah, but we don't have that option available to us right now, so we'll have to improvise," Ash said. "Besides, Susanoo fought Yamatorochi the last time all by himself. This time we've got the weapon that killed him before, an Aura Guardian in training, an Arcean priest, a powerful witch, a genre-savvy Squirtle that seems to be prepared for just about anything, a very experienced wild Absol, and Tiny." Tiny sucked his pacifier. "Between all of us, I'm sure we can think of something."

"We should split up like you said before, so each of us can focus on one head and won't have to worry about dealing with the others," Lily said to Sasha.

"But there's only seven of us and eight of those heads," Sasha pointed out.

"And one of those seven is just a child," Yamiri said. Tiny frowned.

"I think Pikachu can take care of at least two on his own," Leo said as he watched Pikachu engage in frenzied swordplay against all of Brodie's heads at once. "And I think Tiny can handle himself, can't you Tiny?" Tiny sucked his pacifier in agreement.

"All right then, let's do this," Ash said determinedly. "I'm getting really sick of this guy. Let's put his shapeshifting cannibalistic habits to an end, and destroy that stupid bell once and for all. It's caused more than enough trouble for far too long."

Yamiri nodded in agreement and drew his prayer slips. "I could not agree with you more, Ash. It's time to avenge Master Yon!"

"Yamiri, I'm right here," Yon said.

"…Yes, well, I'm going to avenge you anyway!" Yamiri said stubbornly. "Let us send this blasphemer to the Abyss! I'm sure he'll receive a warm welcome there." Nobody noticed the uncomfortable look on Lily's face as he said that. Did any of them realize that she was bound for that place some day?

They ran into the middle of the room, spreading out in a circle around the monster and beginning to fire attacks at him. Hissing in annoyance, several of the heads fighting Pikachu pulled away to deal with these new pests. "Ganging up on me, huh? Well, I think you'll find that I'm more than you foolsss can handle!" Brodie snarled.

"Heh, we'll see about that," Ash said, charging up his Aura. "I've been waiting hours to pay you back for almost causing me to disappear! This'll teach you not to steal people's identities!" He hurled an Aura Sphere at the earth head.

With serpentine quickness, the head dodged out of the way of the attack and lunged forward at Ash, jaws wide open. Ash's Aura-powered reflexes kicked in, and he jumped into the air just before the monster's jaws could snap shut on him, landing on the neck just behind the creature's head. "Hey! Where'd you go?!" the head hissed, looking around frantically for his opponent.

Ash responded by forming Metal Claws and striking at the scales connecting head to neck, trying to pierce the skin and strike a critical hit. Much to his annoyance, his claws skidded off the scales, throwing up sparks and nearly knocking him off from the recoil. However, the attack let the serpent know where he was, and it convulsed angrily, throwing Ash off its back and into the air. As he started tumbling back down, the head surged up, ready to swallow the Lucario whole.

Ash wasn't ready to be eaten yet, however. He formed a Bone Rush staff between his hands and thrust it before him just before he could fall into the beast's maw, the energy bone lodging between the snake's jaws and keeping them from closing. "Gah! Gedd it out!" Brodie grunted, flailing about and trying to get rid of the bone.

Ash landed on the ground and smirked as he charged up his Aura again. "Sure thing, pal. Let me give you a FIST!" He ran at the serpent and jumped into the air, swinging his fist at the monster's lower jaw in a blazing uppercut that sent the head reeling backwards when his paw connected, Bone Rush shattering as the jaws were forcibly (and painfully) closed from the blow. Dazed, the head collapsed to the ground. Ash rushed over and started pounding on it, gleefully taking out his frustration at being turned into a shadow. It felt so good to be able to hit things again!

Tiny sucked his pacifier as he looked up at Yamatorochi's electric head. The serpent sneered. "What, they're sssending a kid againssst me now? I sssaw how you fought earlier, you may have sssome ssskill, but do you really think you can take me on without the grownupsss to hold your paw?" Tiny narrowed his eyes. "Heh, all right, if that'sss how you want to play it…" He roared and spat a Thunderbolt at Tiny, which did absolutely no damage because he was a Rock/Ground type and therefore completely immune to Electric moves, something Brodie had been apparently unaware of. (Why else would Tiny have chosen this head as his opponent?) Brodie was momentarily taken aback. "Huh? You're immune? Oh well, no big deal, a little morsssel like yourssself ssshouldn't put up _that_ much of a fight-"

Tiny pulled out his pacifier and used Screech. The snake howled in pain and surprise and reared back, his auditory organs reeling as Tiny bombarded him with his patented sonic attack. Seeing his foe was stunned, Tiny conjured Hidden Power orbs and flung them at the head. Unfortunately, the explosions from the spheres seemed to annoy Brodie more than actually hurt him. "You..!" Enraged, he lunged at Tiny, jaws opening wide to snap the Larvitar up in a single bite. Tiny quickly used Dig to burrow underground before he could get eaten, causing the monster's snout to smack into the hard stone floor instead. Hissing, he recoiled, shaking his stinging snout in pain. Tiny chose that moment to erupt from beneath the floor, rising up to strike the serpent's chin…

Only for Brodie to swing his head out of the way, then snap Tiny up in his jaws as he flew past. A smile graced his reptilian features…

And then he cried out in pain, flailing wildly about and opening his jaws to reveal that Tiny had Bitten into his tongue. Brodie frantically shook his head and wriggled his tongue about to try and dislodge Tiny, but the Larvitar refused to let go, holding fast to the tongue with his ridiculously sharp teeth. Desperate to relieve the pain, Brodie tried to blast Tiny out of his mouth using Thunder. The electric shock didn't hurt Tiny, but it had a strong enough force behind it to fling him out of Brodie's mouth, ripping out a small chunk of the snake's tongue in the process, which he happily consumed even as he tumbled through the air and smacked into a pillar. Brodie hissed in pain and coughed up blood from his wounded tongue. "Ack…you wretched little brat! Eating'sss too good for you, I'll sssmasssh you to piecccesss!"

Tiny just licked his lips, hungry for more fighting…and possibly snake meat. It was tastier than he had thought it would be. He didn't know why Ash kept telling him not to eat stuff like this; he could see why Sasha enjoyed consuming other Pokemon.

"You've been an annoying pessst sssinccce the firssst time I sssaw you…" the poison head growled at Leo. "Alwaysss sssaying ssstrange thingsss and finding waysss for your friendsss to exxxploit my weaknesssesss…I'm going to enjoy devouring you!"

"Heh, what makes you think you can? We turtles have shells for a reason, you know," Leo quipped.

"I doubt that will be a problem onccce I melt it off of you!" the head hissed, spitting Acid.

Leo fired an Ice Beam, freezing the Acid into a solid mass, which he then shattered with a Bubblebeam. "Yeah, sure. That all you got?"

"No…do you think you will be able to freeze _thisss_ ssso easssily?" the head roared, exhaling and sending a cloud of Poison Gas at Leo.

Leo gasped sarcastically. "Oh no, not Poison Gas! Whatever am I going to do? Oh wait, I know…" He retracted his head into his shell for a moment and came back out wearing a gas mask. "I'll wear this gas-proof mask I decided to get to keep an accident like the one that happened back in Ford's trophy room in Mt. Battle from ever happening again!"

The poison head recoiled in alarm. "What the…you have a gasss masssk?! For the love of Arceusss, jussst how much do you _have_ in that thing?!"

"Not even I'm sure sometimes," Leo admitted. "But I always seem to have something for the right occasion, including fighting with a poison-spitting snake!"

"Oh really?" the head snarled. It inhaled, and then spat out Poison Sting needles. Leo quickly retracted into his shell, but while the needles were ricocheting off his armor, the snake spat out a stream of black Acid which carved a deep trench in the floor around Leo.

Leo glanced around in confusion as he came out of his shell. "Huh? What're you-" The head leaned down and vomited Toxic sludge into the trench, quickly filling it with poisonous waste and leaving Leo trapped in the middle of a moat of deadly purple ooze. "Oh. Clever."

The head drew back. "Jussst try and get out of thisss one!" it taunted, spewing a Gunk Shot at the Squirtle, the toxicity of the substance so strong that it caused the air around it to burst into flame as it was exposed to it. Something as poisonous as that would eat through Leo's shell in seconds if it touched him.

Which was why Leo didn't intend to get hit by it. He raised his mask for a moment, and, making sure not to inhale any of the toxic fumes around him, quickly spat an Ice Beam at a portion of the poisonous trench surrounding him, freezing a portion of it solid. He slid across the patch of purple ice to safety just before the Gunk Shot struck the island he had been trapped on, liquefying it in seconds. Growling in frustration, the poison head spat another stream of Acid at him. Leo fired another Ice Beam, not just freezing the poison about to hit him, but also solidifying the entire acid stream all the way up into the serpent's mouth, creating an enormous curved length of ice. The weight of the ice flow too much for it to handle, the head drooped to the floor, the bottom of the arc smacking into the ground. Grinning and lowering his mask for safety purposes, Leo retracted into his shell and sped up the slope before him with Rapid Spin, aiming for the serpent's nose.

Brodie, outraged and more than a little worried, managed to clench his jaws and dig his venomous teeth in to gain the leverage he needed to break his head off from the big ice mass. He crunched and spat out the bits that remained in his mouth, and snapped Leo up in his jaws just as the Squirtle flew off the ice ramp towards him.

Leo was not one to give in even in the jaws of death, however. He popped an arm out of his shell and grabbed onto one of Brodie's fangs just before he could slide down the monster's gullet, wincing slightly as his palm cut on the edge. Irritated that he had something caught between his teeth; Brodie wrapped his prehensile tongue around Leo's shell and tugged, trying to pull him down his throat. Leo popped his other arm out of his shell, this one holding a golden spray bottle, which he tossed down Brodie's throat.

The serpent's eyes bulged out of their sockets as he swallowed the bottle, and he started coughing and wheezing, spitting Leo out as foam started dripping from his jaws. "Gah! What…what did you jussst feed me?"

Leo smirked. "An Antidote! Considering that you're so full of Poison, I figured a little curative like that might have a negative effect on you."

"You…are not the only one to have a negative effect," Brodie gargled painfully. "Your hand isss bleeding! You cut it on my fangsss! In doing ssso, you exxxposssed yourssself to my poissson…it isss coursssing through your veinsss even asss we ssspeak! In mere sssecondsss, you will die a horrendousss death!"

"That so, huh?" Leo said, raising an eyebrow. "Huh. I feel fine."

Brodie blinked in surprise. "What? No horrible burning sssenssation? No dry mouth or heart palpitationsss or ssseizuresss? No muscle convulsions? No pain at all?!"

"Nope. I think I'm a-okay," Leo said.

"But…but my poissson! How could you possibly-" a disbelieving Brodie protested.

"It might have something to do with the fact that I took an Antidote before I even came over here," Leo said with a grin. "You didn't really think I had just one on me, did you? I inoculated myself just before we started fighting so I wouldn't have to worry about something like this! It always pays to be prepared."

Brodie roared in frustration, foam flying all over the place. "You accursssed brat! Isss there no end to your trickery?!"

"I certainly hope not, since it's the reason I've made it this far," Leo said. "Now…come on! Let's see how well you can fight now that you're effectively defanged!"

As Leo resumed his battle with his poisonous foe, Sasha was dueling with the water head, using her speed and disaster-sense to dance all over the place, avoiding the serpent's water attacks while flinging energy blades at the monster's neck. The blades didn't seem to be particularly effective, however, serving more to irritate the fiend as they ricocheted off his scales rather then causing any true damage. "Hold ssstill!" he hissed angrily.

"No," Sasha said, flicking her head and sending a Psycho Cut flying towards the head.

The serpent didn't even bother dodging, the energy blade broke against his scales without causing a scratch. "You will have to try harder than that," he crooned.

"Very well," Sasha said.

Suddenly, a Future Sight energy ball materialized out of thin air and shot towards the back of Brodie's head. Without even looking, Brodie bent out of the way, then smacked the ball with the side of his head, sending it flying at a nearby pillar. The sphere exploded on contact, destroying the pillar and sending several tons of rubble and debris falling towards Sasha. "I remembered that move from when we fought before; did you really think I'd let it hit me again?"

"I had," Sasha admitted as she jumped towards the tumbling debris, landing on a chunk of stone and quickly hopping from piece to piece, climbing higher into the air. "Most Pokemon do, though admittedly few have required me to use it on them more than once."

"Well, I'm not mossst Pokemon!" Brodie hissed, spitting Aqua Pulses in a wide spread. The Pulses smashed into the falling rocks, destroying them.

None of them hit Sasha, however, or severely impeded her in her climb, her disaster-sense warning her when and where an Aqua Pulse was about to strike and always making sure to jump off of a rock just before it could be destroyed. "You certainly aren't!" she called as she reached the very last rock, decided she was high up enough, and leaped into the air, arcing down towards Brodie as the rest of the pillar crashed to the floor.

Brodie opened his mouth and fired a Hydro Pump up at Sasha, intending to hit her with enough force to shatter every bone in her body and smash what was left into the ceiling. Not looking forward to such a prospect, Sasha flicked her head and sent a Psycho Cut shooting down ahead of her, the energy blade cleaving the waterspout in two and causing it to flow past her in two powerful but ineffectual streams as she plummeted between them. The Psycho Cut blade smashed into Brodie's snout, causing him to flinch and cut off the attack, breaking his concentration just long enough for Sasha to glide past him, striking the serpent with Night Slash as she went by. The instant she landed, Brodie's left eye exploded in a shower of blood and…whatever else is found in eyes. The serpent howled in agony.

Some of the blood spattered on Sasha's snow-white fur, turning parts of it pink as it dissolved back into the protomatter all Dittos are made of. She licked off some of the pink liquid that struck her face, and then charged back towards the roaring monster, looking forward to drawing more of it.

Father Yamiri zigzagged through the air, levitating all over the place to dodge the Air Slash balls of wind the wind head was spitting at him. He pulled out a Power Gem, charged it with energy, and hurled it at the serpent. The monster just exhaled a Gust which sent the explosive gem back at the Sabeleye. Yamiri became invisible and intangible before it could strike him, causing the gem to fly through his body and explode against the wall behind him. The serpent looked around in annoyance, trying to figure out where he had gone. "Where are you? I know you're ssstill here…I can sssmell your ectoplasssm! Ssshow yourssself!"

Understandably, Yamiri declined to do so. The invisible priest flew towards the beast's neck, intending to pass through it and damage the great beast from within.

Unfortunately, he rebounded right off the serpent's hide, evil energy crackling across the scales covering its skin. Yamiri winced, the recoil injuring him despite his current incorporeal state. What had he been thinking? Yamatorochi was a monster that ate Ghosts, why would such a beast have a body that a resourceful spirit like himself could phase through? The disturbance he had caused drew the beast's attention, the neck doubling back on itself so the wind head could see the crackling, slightly itchy spot on his skin. "Ah, _there_ you are!" He lunged towards the spot.

Yamiri glided out of the way just before he could get swallowed up by the monster, rematerializing and hurling a Shadow Ball at Brodie. The wind head batted it away with its snout and lunged forward again, trying to snap Yamiri up. The Sableye flew backwards, just out of range of the monster's bite, firing a Dark Pulse as he retreated. The powerful Dark energy blast only seemed to incense the serpent. "Get over here!" he snarled, opening his jaws and inhaling, creating a powerful vacuum sucking everything nearby into his mouth.

Yamiri turned intangible to try and immunize himself to the suction, and was surprised when he still started drifting towards Brodie's mouth despite his best efforts to pull away. But then again, this was a monster that ate Ghosts, intangibility probably didn't give its appetite much of a problem. Making himself solid again, Yamiri quickly tried to think of a way to get out of this…

And then realized the obvious solution. He wasn't the _only_ thing the snake was sucking up, after all. He hurled out another Power Gem and hurled it into the monster's jaws. Brodie automatically inhaled and swallowed the jewel, realizing too late what it actually was when it exploded in his throat. "Graaagghhh!" he gasped in pain, coughing up blood. Yamiri chose that moment to strike, darting forward and flying in circles around the stunned monster's head, slapping prayer slips all over his skull. The snake hissed in agony and rage, convulsing as the slips' holy power burned itself into his skin.

Yamiri hovered back several meters, gathering strength, then with a mighty battle cry hurled himself at Brodie, swinging his mace with all the power in his slender frame. The spiked head of his weapon struck the serpent's chin with a mighty crack, causing the monster's entire body (or at least, the part of it Yamiri was fighting) to reel back, suspended in the air for several moments by the force of the blow, before finally collapsing to the ground hard enough to crack it. The priest grinned, shaking slightly from the exertion of the attack…and frowned when he saw the toll it had taken on his mace. Several of the spikes on its head had been bent or snapped off, and there was a large crack running through the handle. "Oh dear…he certainly doesn't have a glass jaw, does he? I'm going to need to get this fixed…"

"That'sss not _all_ you're going to need fixed…" Brodie snarled as he rose back off the ground. He shook himself wildly, generating a mini-cyclone that wrapped around his form and ripped off all the slips affixed to his head.

Yamiri scowled. "So you can still fight? I should not be surprised. Evil rarely dies easily. My weapon may be damaged, but my faith and convictions will never be shaken. Come, then! Let us settle this!"

The wind head snarled as it reared back. "It will be ever ssso sssatisssfying when I devour you! Let'sss sssee if your faith sssussstainsss you onccce you're inssside of me!" Serpent and priest lunged at each other, continuing the battle.

"Give in to darkness's embrace!" the dark head roared, firing a Dark Pulse at Lily.

She phased out of the way of the attack and hurled fireballs at the head. "I have existed for the past three hundred years in an endless nightmare and seen more horrible monsters than you. The darkness holds no terror for me." _Not your darkness, anyway,_ she thought to herself, the memory of her mother's Master's glowing red eyes burning in her brain.

"Will you ssstill sssay that onccce your sssoul isss digesssting ssslowly in my ssstomach?" the dark head hissed.

"I've suffered worse," Lily said with complete honesty.

Brodie frowned, both disappointed and more than a little disturbed by this casual admission. "Well, we'll sssee about—look, over there!"

"Where?" Lily asked, turning around. Laughing triumphantly to himself, Brodie lunged forward with Faint Attack…

And slammed right into a Shadow Ball Lily flung at him without even looking. "My mother and sister have pulled that routine on me too many times for me to fall for _that_ trick again," she said tiredly.

"Will you fall for _thisss?_" Brodie hissed, thinking up a Nasty Plot. Head crackling with dark energy, he lunged forwards with Knock Off, slamming into Lily and flinging her away as well as--as the attack name implied--knocking off her hat.

"My hat!" she cried. Brodie's head shot out and caught the hat in its jaws using Thief before she could grab it back. Her temper flared. Her hat was her only real possession, other than her spellbook, which was stolen. It was the only thing she'd ever really been able to call her own. "Give it back to me!"

"If you want it so badly, then come and get it…" he said, opening his mouth invitingly.

"…Very well," Lily said, making a decision. As had been previously noted, Lily did not especially like hurting or killing other people, even though it was something she was rather good at and one of the only things she knew how to do well. As a result, even though she understood the necessity of fighting a monster like what Brodie had become and was more than happy to help her new friends in their endeavors, that did not mean she did so without some small reluctance and a determination to try and refrain from using lethal force if at all possible, something that had always infuriated her mother.

However, this snake had stolen her hat. She felt no qualms about what she was going to do. She opened her mouth and began singing a jarring, unpleasant wail that grated the ears and caused the bones to resonate in an unpleasant way. Black waves emanated from her mouth, and crimson static engulfed both her and Brodie's dark head, causing both of them to suffer excruciating pain. "AAAAARGGGGHHHH!" Brodie howled, his serpentine form shaking in agony. "That…that'sss Perisssh Sssong! Why…why are you…doing thisss?! It's jussst…a hat! Don't you think…you're overreacting…a little?!"

Lily couldn't answer because she was still singing. The anguished look on her face made it clear how much her own attack was hurting her, but she had no intention of stopping until she either got her hat back or both of them fell, whichever came first. Realizing this, a horrified Brodie gave in. "All right! All right! I'll give it back! Take it already!"

Charging up with Dark energy, he hurled the hat at Lily with Fling, hoping to brain her with it. He had no such luck, Lily promptly stopped singing, grabbed the hat with her hair, and replaced it on her head, looking none the worse for wear, while Brodie was panting and sweating as he tried to recover from the Song's effects. "Thank you," she said.

"Geezzz…it wasss jussst a hat! What'sss the big deal? That really hurt, you know!" Brodie sobbed, eyes watering up as he used Fake Tears.

She didn't fall for that trick, either. "Tears never worked on my mother, and they won't work on me either. Is deceit like this really the best you can do?"

The head snarled, ceasing its pity ploy. "I can only ussse Dark-type movesss, the majority of which are either physssical or ssstatusss-inducccing in nature. A guy'sss got to work with what he'sss got!"

"Ah," Lily said. "That makes sense." She concentrated, and a pair of flaming wheels and six Shadow Balls formed around her. "Then I shall work with what I have, as well."

Brodie grinned. "Bring it."

Lily did.

Meanwhile, while everyone else was fighting one of Brodie's heads, Pikachu was busy taking on two at once, and doing a fairly good job of it too. The twin heads, wielding the power of fire and light, reared back and unleashed a Flamethrower and Hyper Beam at Pikachu. Using Quick Attack and Agility, Pikachu zigzagged across the floor to throw off the serpents' aim, dashing under their attacks and racing towards their underbellies. He drew his sword and slashed at the scales covering the underside of the light head's neck, only for his blade to bounce off the monster's hide. The light head hissed and slammed his neck down to the ground in an attempt to crush Pikachu beneath its weight, but the samurai rolled out of the way before it was too late and thrust his sword at the beast's side the instant he was back on his feet.

Unfortunately, his blade just ricocheted off the scaly neck, throwing up sparks but doing no damage and almost knocking Pikachu off his feet due to the recoil. The fire head twisted his neck over that of his counterpart and lunged downwards at Pikachu, trying to catch him in his smoldering jaws. Pikachu hopped backwards before the head could crush and/or consume him, causing the monster to slam into the ground snout-first, stunning itself. Pikachu landed on his tail, which compressed beneath his weight and bounced him back into the air, sending him flying towards the dazed head. He drew back his sword, intending to pierce the fiery serpent's eye…

Only for the light head to appear from out of nowhere and catch him in its jaws in midair. The snake started closing its mouth over Pikachu, but the resilient rodent thrust upward with his sword, piercing the roof of the demon's maw. The monster threw back its head in screamed in agony, both because there was a sword stuck in his mouth and because said sword was channeling several thousand volts of holy lightning into his body. Pikachu wrenched his sword out, severing a few teeth and tearing open a huge gash in the roof of the snake's mouth that flooded the jaws with blood that quickly turned into pink slime. Covered in the stuff, Pikachu jumped out before he could drown in the ooze or get swept down the monster's throat (though in retrospect that might have been a good idea, he could have cut his way out of the beast's stomach and maybe severed at least one head in the process), the light head collapsing to the ground behind him as he landed.

The fire head drew back warily. "You wield that blade asss if you hatched with a sssword in your paw, little moussse…you fight jussst like your great-grandfather."

Pikachu frowned. "And how would you know about that? You weren't even there…unless you really _are_ Yamatorochi, and not just Brodie assuming his form?"

The serpent chuckled. "There wasss more than jussst DNA in the blood on the bell…perhapsss I am Yamatorochi, I certainly have hisss memoriesss. But then again, I alssso have Brodie'sss, and ssseem to bleed like he doesss. Ssso am I Yamatorochi reborn? Am I Brodie putting on an act ssso good I have trouble forgetting where one endsss and the other beginsss? In the end, doesss it really matter? I have a new role to act out, and power to match it, and I intend to play it to itsss fullessst. And ssspeaking of rolesss…yoursss doesss not have to play out thisss way."

Pikachu frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Have you ever really had a choiccce in the way you live your life, little Pikachu? From day one you've been nurtured on the talesss of your ancccessstor'sss heroic exploitsss and groomed to be jussst like them one day, a noble and valiant sssamurai warrior. But were you ever asssked if that wasss what you really wanted to be? Did your father ever sssay it would be fine for you to do whatever you wanted with your life, or did he presss upon you the burden of living up to the family legacccy, just like hisss father did to him, and hisss grandfather did to hisss father, and hisss great-grandfather did to hisss grandfather, and ssso on? Did they _ever_ asssk if maybe you wanted to do sssomething elssse other than running around with a sssword, risssking your life for people you've never met before in hopesss of being jussst like daddy?"

Pikachu tightened his grip on his sword. "…What are you saying?"

"I'm sssaying it doesssn't have to be that way. That you can have your own life. That you don't have to be an exxxact replica of your father, or hisss father, or hisss," the fire head said seductively. "It wasss your ancccessstor that defeated me one hundred yearsss ago…but your accursssed bloodline can unleasssh my true power! A pact between Sssusssanoo'sss dessscendant and I, the great Yamatorochi, ssshall deliver upon me powersss beyond all comprehensssion. Let usss ssseal the blood pact for all eternity! Ssspeak the wordsss, 'I wisssh to choossse a different path.' Utter that prayer to me and ssseal our blood pact. You too ssshall gain powersss beyond all comprehensssion, and will no longer have to live in the all-encompasssing ssshadow of your ancccessstorsss!"

Pikachu recoiled in surprise. "What?!"

The fire head leaned closer, swaying hypnotically before Pikachu's eyes. "Utter the prayer! Let the wordsss come from deep within, where you have locked them away for ssso many yearsss! Recccite the wordsss of our blood pact!"

Pikachu narrowed his eyes. "Oh, I shall…"

He backflipped, flying over the light head as it shot towards him from behind, nearly catching him in its jaws. He landed on the back of the serpent's neck and let loose a powerful Thundershock, causing the monster to hiss in pain. Pikachu laughed as the fire head reeled back in surprise. "'I am the descendant of Susanoo! Behold! Pikachu, latest heir of the Thunderblade line and wielder of the sacred Thunder Fang! Hear me, vile shapeshifter who would seek to destroy my friends! Feel the wrath of my trusty sword!'"

"Wh-what?!" the fire head howled in alarm.

Pikachu grinned. "Heh, weren't expecting an oath like that, were you? You really are an idiot, aren't you? Did you really think I'd fall for a tired old trick like that? The only pacts for me are those that tie me to my family, to my friends, to my homeland, to my god…and to the sword that is my destiny! If it is my fate to fall battling evil, then so be it, for it is a fate I happily accepted long ago, knowing full well that I would likely be condemning myself to death in combat rather than by natural causes! I am honored to carry on the family name and continue our legacy…and the latest chapter of our saga shall be writ in your blood, as I finish the job my great-grandfather began one hundred years ago!" His body flashed as he was engulfed in a golden electrical nimbus, and he dashed up the length of the light head's neck and launched himself off the top, sailing towards the fire head with Volt Tackle.

"N-no! Get back!" Brodie cried, exhaling a potent Fire Blast at Pikachu. The giant flaming kanji for 'big' rocketed towards Pikachu…and burst as the samurai smashed right through it, his Volt Tackle far too powerful to be stopped by meager flames such as those. Pikachu crashed into the fire head, the collision so strong that it broke the snake's nose. He reeled back, wailing in pain as blood and pink slime oozed from his twisted snout. "AAAAHHH! GAAAAHH! OH ARCCCEUSSS, THAT HURTSSS!"

Pikachu landed on the ground, his electric shell dissipating. "Good. It was supposed to."

Brodie ground his teeth, causing another twinge of pain in his nose. "ALL RIGHT! THAT'SSS IT! NO MORE MESSSING AROUND!"

Abruptly, all seven of the other heads stopped fighting and withdrew from their opponents. The eight serpents bobbed around the bell they were growing from, glaring down at Team Aurabolt. Ash blinked in confusion. "Huh? Hey, I wasn't done yet!"

"We haven't won already, have we?" asked a perplexed Lily.

"Uh oh…this can't be good…" Leo murmured.

"This does not bode well…" Sasha agreed.

"What is he up to?" Yamiri wondered.

Tiny sucked his pacifier.

The carvings on the bell flared, red and black electricity crackling around it and surging up Brodie's necks. Eyes glowing red, the snakes roared, the force of their bellows shaking the room and causing dust and bricks to fall from the ceiling. The ghosts hanging around in the upper reaches of the chamber circled restlessly, their captor's abnormal behavior worrying them. They were right to be concerned, when the eight necks abruptly bent over backwards and slammed the heads attached to them into the sides of the bell, causing the vile instrument to ring and release an inescapable blast of red-tinged black energy which expanded outward to engulf the room, throwing the heroes back and causing them to cry out as pain wracked their bodies. Eyes glowing with renewed vigor, the eight heads shot forward to take opportunity of their prospective meals' weakness.

The earth head slammed itself into the ground, causing the floor to shake and giant rocks to erupt in a ring around Ash and slam into him, trapping him in a crushing Rock Tomb. The lightning head charged itself up with electricity and lunged at Tiny in an improvised Volt Tackle of its own, slamming into the Larvitar and smashing him into a wall. The poison head breathed venom into the ground, causing Toxic Spikes to erupt beneath Leo and raise him into the air, partially piercing his shell and causing him to wobble helplessly on his back as he tried to dislodge himself from the spines whose acidic surface was already starting to dissolve his shell. The water head spat out a tremendous amount of water, which spread out and rose up in the form of a gigantic tidal wave surging right towards Sasha. Knowing she couldn't outrun the Surf wave, she tried splitting it apart with her energy blades, but the water simply absorbed her attacks and in short order absorbed her too, sweeping her up in its wake, thrashing her about, and nearly drowning her before smashing her into a wall hard enough to break her spine. The wind head created a Whirlwind around Yamiri, flinging the priest to and fro and buffeting him when Razor Wind was added to the mix, super-sharp wind blades shredding his robes and cutting away at his ectoplasm as he struggled to break free. The dark head blasted Lily with Dark Pulse, smashing her through a pillar and slamming her into a wall, causing her to scream as darkness flooded her ectoplasmic frame. The light head fired a Hyper Beam at Pikachu, which the mouse managed to block with his blade, but there was nothing he could do to avoid the Fire Spin that engulfed him from behind while he was distracted, the flaming cyclone burning him alive with a horrific scream.

The spirits watching from above gasped in horror. Brodie laughed ecstatically as his enemies lay broken and dying around him. "Ahahahaha! Yesss! Yesss! I've won! And now I can begin my ectoplasssmic feassst! Gahahahaha!"

He was completely unaware that Team Aurabolt were actually hiding behind a pillar and that the Pokemon he had just attacked were nothing more than Substitutes. "That was a close one," Sasha commented as she peeked out from around the side of the column to see what Brodie had done to their doubles.

"Nice save, Lily," Leo thanked the Misdreavus.

"Well, it worked so well the last time, I thought it was worth another go," Lily said, fighting down her blush. She really needed to get used to this 'being appreciated' thing, she didn't want to keep embarrassing herself. "However, those dopplegangers won't last for much longer, so we need to think of another plan of attack before he realizes we're not where he thinks we are."

"I'm open to suggestions," Ash said.

"While my attacks and prayer slips were able to damage him, he was eventually able to shake them off and keep fighting," Yamiri commented.

"Same here. I hit him as hard as I could but he just kept getting back up," Leo agreed.

"I put out one of his eyes, but it grew back," Sasha said. Tiny nodded, thinking of how the tongue of the head he had been fighting had gotten better despite him tearing out a large chunk of it.

Pikachu sighed in frustration. "No matter what damage we do to him, he seems to be able to recover from it relatively quickly. The only thing I'm certain could have a lasting effect on him would be Thunder Fang, but…his scales are still too strong for even its sacred edge to cut through. Susanoo was able to do it by empowering the blade with moonlight, but Brodie's blocked out the Moon, and even if it weren't for that it still wouldn't be able to reach us down here. I'm out of ideas…"

"But I'm not," Leo said, getting a brainstorm. He started rummaging through his shell. "You said we need the power of the Moon, right? Would _this_ help?" He pulled out what looked like a perfectly ordinary rock.

"That's a perfectly ordinary rock," Sasha pointed out.

"Au contraire! This isn't just any rock…it's a rock _from the Moon!_" Leo corrected. "Remember? Ciela gave it to us as thanks for letting her and Julie escape her crazy father back in Treasure Town, right before we first ran into Sam and Max!"

"Hey yeah, I remember that," Ash recalled.

"A piece of the Moon? Remarkable…" Yamiri murmured. Tiny sucked his pacifier.

"That's a good idea, Leo, but…it's not generating any light," Pikachu said, taking the rock and holding it up to his sword. "I need moon_light_ to power up Thunder Fang, not just a moon rock."

"Maybe I can help," Lily said, taking the rock in one tendril while flipping through her book with another. "I think I have a spell that can make things glow…ah, here it is! _Lumos!_" Much to their amazement, the rock began to glow with a soft silvery-blue light. Tiny froze in mid-suck, enamored by the glow.

"Oooohhh," Ash said.

"Magnificent…" Yamiri muttered.

"But will that be enough?" Sasha asked.

"It's a piece of the moon that's emitting light. Sounds like moonlight to me. I don't see why it wouldn't work," Leo said.

"Only one way to find out," Pikachu said. He dramatically swiped his sword through the air, and then raised it over his head as he recited the prayer his ancestor had used to call upon the Moon's power one hundred years ago, a prayer that, naturally, he knew by heart. "'The time has come! O sacred moon of the heavens, come forth and pierce this darkness! Bear witness to the beast's demise upon my trusty sword Thunder Fang!"

The others watched in wonder and awe as…something happened. (What, you were expecting it to be nothing at all? Heh, not this time!) The light from the moon rock shone down upon Pikachu's sword. Sparkles flew down from the stone and circled around the sword, spiraling faster and faster before converging upon the blade, causing its length to blaze with a brilliant golden light. "Whoa!" Ash gasped.

"Dude, I told you it would work!" Leo said excitedly.

"We are witnessing a legend reborn…" Yamiri whispered reverently. "Praise Arceus that I could be here to see such a miracle be wrought…"

"And this will spell the end of that monster?" Sasha asked.

Pikachu grinned, his eyes reflecting the glow from his sword. "Without a doubt!"

"Then let's end this!" Ash cried.

Brodie's laughter cut off when the seven Pokemon he thought he had defeated disappeared in a puff of smoke. "Wh-what?! Where did…no! They tricked me again?!" He looked around frantically with all eight heads. "But then where…"

"YAMATOROCHI!"

The serpent stiffened and swiveled his heads around. Much to his horror, he saw Pikachu approaching, wielding a golden sword, backed by his friends. He felt a moment of déjà vu, and for a second thought he was gazing upon the determined visage of Susanoo, the legendary warrior who had slain him a century ago. "No…no! Not again! NOT AGAIN! How could you?! THERE'SSS NO MOON!"

"We improvised," Lily said happily, tossing the glowing moon rock back at Leo.

"Yamatorochi!" Pikachu declared. "Your reign ends now! No more will you terrorize the populace of Twilight's Edge! This night I shall kill you once and for all!"

"N-no!" Brodie stammered, terror gripping him as the memory of that unbelievably sharp sword severing his heads flooded through his eight brains. "YOU'RE the one who ssshall die thisss night! And I will dessstroy that sssword ssso none may ussse it againssst me ever again! The sssaga of the Thunderbladess endsss here!"

"Actually, he has a little brother, and another sibling on the way," Ash said.

"And both his parents are still alive," Yamiri said.

"So even if you killed Pikachu ("Which he won't," Pikachu said), you'd still have the rest of his family to go through!" Leo taunted.

The serpent's blood ran cold at that thought. _More_ Thunderblades?! "I-I will hunt them all down, then!" he hissed nervously. "I will eradicate your bloodline from thisss world!"

"The only one being eradicated right now is YOU!" Pikachu shouted, charging forward. Alarmed, Brodie inhaled and fired attacks from all eight heads, sending an incredibly powerful multi-elemental wave of death coursing across the ground towards Pikachu. The samurai merely drew back his glowing sword and swung it through the air, generating a Vacuum-Cut stronger than any he had ever formed before. The blade raced towards the wave, slicing it to pieces and continuing towards the frightened Brodie, smashing into him and knocking all his heads backs, astonishingly managing chip their scales in the process. He tried to recover and defense himself, but it was too late, for Pikachu was now upon him and ready to fulfill his destiny.

"GOOD!" He lashed out with Thunder Fang as he flew past the earth head. There was a pause as he landed, and then the head abruptly fell from its neck, blood and pink slime gushing from the stump. Pikachu was back in the air before it hit the ground.

"WILL!" The poison head, panicking to see Pikachu flying towards it, exhaled a tremendous cloud of Poison Gas. Pikachu swung his sword, the wind generated by the blade's slicing through the air dissipating the gas. He shot past the head…and at the arc of his jump, the head came off, blood and poisons and slime flowing from its neck.

"NEVER!" The poison head taken care of, he descended for his next target, the lightning head. The serpent spat a Thunderbolt at him, but knew even before it fired that it was a futile gesture, the crackling sword absorbing the charge and adding it to its power as its master lashed out with a horizontal swing as he passed. The head came off in a shower of gore and slime as he continued his descent.

"GIVE!" He landed on the ground, turned, and leaped at the light head. The serpent, rather than attacking like the others, tried to protect itself with Light Screen instead. That worked about as well as you might expect, as Pikachu smashed through it headfirst and lopped off the serpent head with a single blow.

"IN!" He ran some feet along the side of a wall, sprang off, and swooped down towards the wind head, which frantically fired Razor Wind blades to try and knock him off course. His sword flashed through the air faster than lightning, not just deflecting the wind but _cutting it in half_, and the wind head itself found itself sliced in two as well after he breezed past in a cyclone stronger than any gale the serpent could ever have stirred up.

"TO!" He landed from his assault on the wind head and lunged at the water head. The snake tried to protect itself by blasting Pikachu with Hydro Pump…which turned out to be a bit of a mistake, because the instant the stream touched Pikachu, a tremendous surge of electricity shot back up the waterspout and into the beast's mouth, electrocuting it. Brodie howled in pain and cut off the water feed…and then felt pain no more, as Pikachu chopped off his head.

"EVIL!" Pikachu kicked off a pillar and soared towards the dark head. The terrified head tried to use Sucker Punch to get the first blow in, but only succeeded in hastening his death, as Pikachu easily dodged the attack and lashed out with his sword as the head shot past him, parting it from its neck just as he had the six before it.

"…Wow," Ash breathed in astonishment. Tiny sucked his pacifier in agreement.

"Did _I _help him do all that?" Lily wondered.

"Never have I seen him move like that…" said an amazed Sasha.

"SO. FREAKING. COOOOOOL!" Leo squealed.

"He is truly the worthy heir of Susanoo," Yamiri said.

The fire head looked around in horror and alarm as the necks of his seven brothers writhed and gushed fluids before collapsing to the ground, lying alongside their decapitated heads. Desperate not to meet the same fate, he threw his head back, roaring and glowing red and black as he gathered power for a final attack. Pikachu narrowed his eyes at the serpent. "Oh no you don't…time to finish you off!"

He fell backwards, landing on his tail, which compressed and launched him into the air. He flipped head over heels, gaining momentum as he rose high above the final head, which was still frantically trying to gather the strength for one last attack. Pikachu didn't intend to let that happen. At the peak of his jump, the mouse straightened out and raised his sword over his head. "CELESTIAL CLEAVER!"

"Why did you yell that?" Lily asked Leo.

The Squirtle shrugged. "Seemed appropriate."

Pikachu brought the sword down in an overhead chop so powerful that it cut through Brodie from the tip of his snout to the base of his neck, cleaving his entire body in twain. It took a moment for the snake to realize this, however, and the look of surprise on his (split) face when he abruptly fell in two pieces, blood and pink ooze and, for some reason, lava spurting all over the place was absolutely priceless. Pikachu panted for a moment, waited for the serpent's twitching form to settle, then stood up, cleaned off and sheathed his sword, and turned calmly back to his friends. "It is done."

The spirits above started cheering. "…SO. AWESOME!" Leo shouted.

"You did it!" Ash said as he and the others came over. "I only wish I could have helped finish the guy off for what he did to me earlier."

"Well done, Pikachu," Sasha congratulated him.

"You have truly honored your family's legacy this evening," Yamiri agreed.

"I'm glad I could help you beat him," Lily said.

Pikachu nodded at her gratefully. "Thanks, Lily. I couldn't have done it without you. You too, Leo…it's a good thing you were still carrying that moon rock around. I had no idea it would actually come in handy like that!"

"Yeah, that's what made it a good Chekhov's Weapon," Leo said.

"A what?" Ash asked.

"A literary technique whereby an element is introduced early in the story, but its significance doesn't become clear until much later," Leo explained.

"Oh," Ash said. "Yeah, that rock would definitely qualify as one of those."

"And I'm betting a lot of the other stuff I'm carrying is gonna be Chekhov's Weapons, too," Leo said. "Which makes me a walking Chekhov's Armory! Sweet!"

"Who is Chekhov?" Lily asked.

Leo hesitated. "…You know, I'm not actually sure. I think he was a writer. Or some guy with an accent on Space Trek."

"Pikachu, Yamiri, everyone, you have done well!" Yon said as he and the other Ghosts started descending to congratulate their heroes. "Now maybe we can finally-"

The carvings on the bell lit up and it rang with a terrible DONG!, knocking everyone back. Crackling ominously, it rose into the air, dragging the headless forms of Brodie/Yamatorochi along with it.

"What the…what's going on?!" Ash cried.

"Is it supposed to do that?" Lily asked.

"I don't think so…" Pikachu said.

"This didn't happen when Susanoo defeated Yamatorochi before!" Yamiri said.

Sasha stiffened. "Something bad is about to happen…"

She was right. There was another DONG! And a vortex started forming around the bell, creating an inexorable force that started dragging the transparent Ghosts towards the evil instrument's crown. "What's it doing now?!" Ash asked.

"Oh shit," Leo cried, scanning the thing with his sunglasses. "The Ghosts…it's trying to absorb them and use their power to revive its master!"

"WHAT?!" everyone shouted in alarm.

"That didn't happen when my great-grandfather killed him before! It just lay there, inert!" Pikachu protested.

"The last time it didn't have one hundred and eight undigested souls to harvest," Leo said. "This time, all bets are off!"

DONG!

"Make that one hundred and ten," Yamiri said as he started drifting towards the vortex. "It's trying to suck us in, too!"

"Aaah! No! I don't want to be eaten!" Lily cried in alarm, wrapping tendrils around a pillar to anchor herself. The suction was too strong, however, and she lost her grip, tumbling towards the bell…

Until Ash grabbed both her and Father Yamiri. "Got you!" he said.

"Many thanks, Ash," Yamiri said gratefully.

"Th-thank you," Lily said. She gasped as her hat came off. "No, my hat!"

"Got it!" Leo said, snatching it out of the air. "Wouldn't want you to lose a sweet piece of headgear like this, would you?"

"Thank you very much," the witch said in relief as he brought the chapeau back to her. "That hat means a lot to me."

"Yeah, I noticed what you did to the head that stole it from you," Leo said. "How come you didn't do that to me when I swiped your hat back when we first met?"

"Um…well…you made me laugh," Lily admitted. "I decided I liked you, so I didn't try to hurt you very much. I had no such compunctions where Brodie was concerned."

"…Really? Huh. Thanks," Leo said, fighting down a blush. _Score! She was falling for my charm before she was even on the team! At this rate, she'll be my girlfriend in no time! Now I just need to keep things up so that her 'like' turns into a raging 'love!' Oh, and save her from the giant evil bell, too._

DONG!

"Waaaahhh! Somebody help us!" a Shuppet cried as he swirled past.

"I don't want to be eaten!" a Dusclops wailed.

"Please, do something!" a Gengar shrieked.

"Yamiri, everyone, destroy that bell!" Yon bellowed.

"Right! I still have some moon power left, so…here we go!" Pikachu charged towards the bell. He leaped at it, bringing his sword down with a mighty battle cry…

And much to his astonishment, bounced off. "Wh-what?!" He thrust his sword into the bell. Again, it was deflected. "No…this…this can't be right!" He futilely tried to strike the bell with his sword a few more times, but it was no use, he couldn't even scratch the thing. "I…I don't understand…why isn't this working?!"

"Susanoo could not destroy the bell either," Sasha recalled. "Perhaps Thunder Fang is not the way to break it?"

"But then what is?!" Pikachu cried. "If the sacred sword that slew Yamatorochi isn't good enough to destroy the vessel of his power, then how are we supposed to do this?!" He was crestfallen. He had really hoped that he would be the one to destroy the bell. It would bring a fitting closure to this chapter in the history of his family.

DONG!

"Yon's prayer slips didn't seem to bother it much, so that means something even stronger than their holy energies will be needed," Yamiri said.

Ash looked at the bell with his Aura-sight and grimaced when he saw the energy field roiling around it. "Yeah, it looks pretty solid…I don't see any obvious weak spots."

"Same here," Leo said, scanning it with his sunglasses. "It seems to be made of a supernaturally charged metal that's impervious to all weapons and attacks. It says the only thing that can destroy it is someone born one hundred years after Yamatorochi's original defeat."

"Just like Darkrai's prophecy," Sasha recalled.

"Then why can't I-" Pikachu froze. "Oh. OH. I get it."

"You were born a little over eighty years after Yamatorochi's defeat," Yamiri said. "As was Ash…presumably. The same with Leo, I think. Sasha was born a few decades after the serpent's demise, and both Lily and myself died centuries ago."

"Well, actually, I was never alive to begin with," Lily said.

"Really? So your mom laid you as a stillborn? Who's the dad?" Leo asked.

Lily frowned. "I'm not sure, actually…"

DONG!

"If all of us are too old, then how are we supposed to destroy that thing?!" Ash asked.

"We _aren't_ all too old," Leo pointed out. "There's still one of us left…one of us who was just born a little over a week ago! If anyone fits the bill, it's him! TINY!"

Sasha nodded. "That's right! He _is _young enough, isn't he?"

"_Tiny's_ the one who's going to save the day?! That…makes a lot of sense, actually," Pikachu admitted.

"Yes, in tales such as these it is often the youngest who holds the power to save the world," Yamiri agreed.

"But where is he?" Lily asked, glancing around as much as she could without slipping out of Ash's claws and falling into the vortex. "I don't see him anywhere!"

"He's up there!" Ash cried, seeing Tiny climbing up the lengths of one of the serpent necks dangling from the underside of the bell, a determined expression on his face.

"He acts like one who knows what he's doing," Yamiri commented. "That bodes well!"

"Do you think he knew all along that it was gonna come down to him?" Leo wondered.

"If so, then why did he not act to destroy the bell sooner?" Sasha asked.

"Because it wasn't the right time? Or he wanted to do it when it was most dramatic? I dunno," Leo suggested. "But he seems to have figured out it's something he's gotta do on his own even before we did! What a great kid! Think he picked up that sort of genre-savvyness from me?"

"Tiny…" Pikachu murmured, sheathing his sword. For a moment, resentment washed through him. He had wanted to be the one to destroy the bell, and prove himself as good as, if not better, than his venerated ancestor. However, this feeling of envy didn't linger for very long. He wouldn't let it. Such ignoble sentiments were unbecoming of a samurai. He knew that destiny didn't always take your own feelings into account, and sometimes you had to accept whatever fate had planned, even if it wasn't what you would have wanted for yourself. While he was still a little disappointed that it wasn't him who would deliver the final blow, he felt nothing but pride and joy for his latest nephew, happy that the little Larvitar would prove his worth by destroying one of his family's most infamous enemies once and for all. "…You can do it. I know you can."

"Yeah! You rock, Tiny! Keep on climbing, buddy!" Leo shouted.

"We believe in you!" Yamiri said.

"We have to, because otherwise we're going to get sucked into that thing!" Lily added.

"Keeping going! You can and must do this, since none of us can!" Sasha said.

"Tiny, keep it up! We're all rooting for you!" Ash cried, overwhelmed with pride for his newest son.

DONG!

Tiny didn't particularly care that everyone was cheering for him and that the ghosts swirling all around him were encouraging him and pleading him to save them. He didn't care that if he failed, all those spirits—and possibly Yamiri and Lily--would be consumed to revive Yamatorochi. He didn't care about any of them. He didn't even know why he was climbing up there to begin with.

However…

However, there was a small quiet voice inside of him that told him it was the right thing to do. This voice felt like it was a part of him, and yet not. It was an irresistible force, which is why Tiny found himself obeying it, even though he didn't really want to. Was this voice 'Aura,' that strange power his caretaker had helped him tap into earlier? He had been feeling…strange ever since he had used it to free Lily. Something was tainting his neutral loathing and distrust of everything that wasn't his caretaker. Something inside of him was _changing_…and he didn't like it at all. There didn't seem to be anything he could do about it at the moment, however, but follow along with what that annoying voice said to shut it up, and see what happened as a result. Maybe it would go away if he did this thing for it. Maybe not. But either way, Tiny felt like he _had_ to reach the bell, and so he kept on climbing.

DONG!

The noise and vibration from the bell above him almost made him lose his grip on the dead serpent's scales, but he was able to latch onto another handhold on the beast's neck before he could fall. He was a mountain Pokemon, stuff like this seemed to come naturally to him. Climbing up a few more yards, he reached the point where the neck entered the bell's mouth. He leaped off the neck, causing Ash to gasp and the others to tense below, but he managed to grab the bell's lip, pulling himself up and onto the evil instrument's sound ring. They released breaths they hadn't realized they were holding.

The wailing and moaning from the souls swirling around him was much louder now. Tiny blocked it out, pressing a hand against the bell's bead line for balance as he regained his breath from the crawl. The metal burned beneath his touch, enraged by his presence, but Tiny ignored that, too. He was good at not paying attention to things that didn't interest him. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to focus and repeat what Ash had showed him how to do before, to tap into the energy flowing through all things and utilize the power of Aura.

The power came to him much faster than he had expected. He hadn't even needed to be threatened with being set on fire to access it this time! However, he instinctively sensed that this power would have a price, and that using it would _change_ him some more. He hesitated, wondering if he should really go through with this. He didn't want to change; he liked himself as he already was.

But if he didn't…

His caretaker wanted him to do it. Tiny didn't really understand why it mattered so much, but he couldn't disappoint Ash. He just couldn't. It was unthinkable. And so, giving up his resistance, he channeled the power of Aura, letting it flow through his body and into his free hand, causing it to ignite with blue fire. He opened his eyes, which were also glowing blue, and glared at the bell before him.

"He's doing it!" Ash cried, overjoyed. "He's using Aura again!"

"Cool! Why can't I do that?" Leo complained.

"This is it…Tiny! Smash that thing to pieces!" Pikachu shouted.

"And quickly…there isn't much time left!" Sasha added.

"If that bell rings one more time, Yamatorochi will be revived again!" Yamiri shouted.

"Please, hurry!" Lily begged.

If the instrument had been a living thing, it would have recoiled in fear, sensing its end was near. Instead, it gathered all its power, preparing to ring a final time and resurrect its master. Tiny sucked his pacifier and drew back his burning fist. He didn't intend to let that happen. With a yell, he punched the bell with all the strength in his body, which was quite a lot more than you would expect from such a little guy.

Cracks burning with blue flame spread from where Tiny's fist impacted. Those cracks spiderwebbed and divided and lengthened until they covered the entire surface of the bell. Shafts of light and gouts of blue flame began emitting from the cracks, and then…

With one last resounding DONG! The bell exploded in a blaze of blue fire, sending pieces of scrap flying everywhere and scattering the Ghosts who had been caught in the vortex all over the room. Yamiri and Lily, no longer tugged by the vortex's suction, collided into Ash since there wasn't any force for him to be pulling against anymore, and then Tiny, who had been flung clear by the explosion, crashed into them, knocking them to the ground. Leo laughed and snapped a photo. The eight serpentine necks of Yamatorochi fell to the ground, flopping helplessly beside their severed heads before the lot of them dissolved into pink slime that sank into cracks in the floor and vanished.

"That was truly the stuff of legends," Pikachu said as Ash, Tiny, Yamiri, and Lily got back to their feet. "Well done, Tiny."

"Yatta! That was awesome! Oh, Lily, your hat came off again," Leo said. "Here." He handed it back to her.

"Oh, thank you!" she said in relief, putting it back on her head. "And thank _you_ Tiny, for stopping that bell before it could swallow us up or revive that monster again!"

"You have done well. All of us are in your debt," Yamiri said graciously. Tiny sucked his pacifier and stared at him blankly.

"But is that really the end of Brodie?" Sasha asked, glancing at where the Ditto's remains had sunken into the floor.

"Probably not, but we've foiled his plans for Twilight's Edge, so hopefully we won't have to worry about him for a while," Ash said, hugging Tiny and nuzzling him for being such a brave Pokemon. Tiny smiled and hugged him back, sucking happily on his pacifier.

Pikachu sighed. "Of course, knowing our luck, that means we'll be seeing him again in the near future. _Another_ recurring enemy to worry about. Great."

"Hey, no big deal. If he shows up again, we'll beat him just like we've been doing so far!" Leo said. "But that's something to worry about later. Right now, we need to get out of the temple before it collapses due to the destruction of the bell!"

They glanced around. The temple was conspicuously not collapsing. Leo frowned. "I _said,_ we need to get out of the temple before it collapses due to the destruction of the bell!"

Still nothing happened. The temple remained standing, though a little worse for wear thanks to all the fighting. Leo sighed in exasperation. "Oh for the love of…Ash, smash that pillar over there!"

Ash blinked. "Huh? Why?"

"Just do it, mon!" Leo snapped.

"Okay, okay!" Ash threw an Aura Sphere at the pillar Leo was indicating. The orb exploded on impact, destroying the column. The entire temple started shaking, and huge blocks of stone began to fall from the ceiling, smashing through the terraces lining the sides of the chamber as sections of the walls and floor caved in.

"There we go! Now we're talking!" Leo said with a laugh.

"Leo, what the hell did you just do?!" Pikachu shouted.

"It wouldn't be a good ending to this part of the adventure if the dungeon didn't collapse after we destroyed the boss, now would it?" Leo asked.

Pikachu stared at Leo incredulously. "…You _idiot!_ What were you thinking?!"

Leo frowned. "What? We were going to destroy the temple anyway, weren't we?"

"Yes, but not with us _inside_ of it!" Pikachu shouted. "And Ash, what were _you_ thinking? Why did you listen to him?!"

"Um…because he yelled at me?" Ash said Mareepishly. He laughed nervously as a rather large vein started throbbing on Pikachu's forehead. "Er, not a good reason, huh?" Pikachu responded by blasting both of them with Thunderbolt. "That answers that question," Ash croaked, his fur blackened, standing on end, and crackling with static.

"Still…totally…worth it," Leo gasped. The others sweatdropped.

"We have to get out of here quickly!" Sasha shouted.

Yamiri nodded. "Right! Everybody, out of the temple, now!"

Team Aurabolt raced for the exit as tons of stone and other building materials crashed to the ground all around them, blasting through or dodging around huge chunks of debris that landed right in their path. They rushed through the open main door and out into the fresh night air just before the entire temple imploded, caving in on itself and throwing up a huge cloud of dust as it collapsed to the ground in a great pile of rock and tile and statuary. Coughing and covered in dirt, the heroes staggered their way out of the cloud and found themselves face-to-face with the entire population of Twilight's Edge, who eagerly started cheering and applauding when they saw that their saviors were all right.

"Whoa!" Ash said. "What are they all doing here?"

"The entire town must be here," Pikachu observed.

"Dude…did they come to congratulate us?" Leo wondered.

Sasha and Lily wilted. "There are so many people here…" the Misdreavus said anxiously.

"You are not fond of crowds either?" Sasha asked.

"I don't like having so many eyes staring at me…" the witch whimpered.

"Team Aurabolt! Father Yamiri! Congratulations on your victory! We're happy to see you all here, safe and sound!" Mayor Tonio said, coming forward to meet the group.

"We are glad to see you as well, Mayor," Yamiri said, bowing graciously. "Things got rather close a few times, but we were able to prevail in the end."

"What are all of you doing here?" Pikachu asked.

"When we heard the bell ringing, we all somehow knew that the unthinkable had happened and Yamatorochi had been reborn!" Skullker said, drifting out of the crowd.

"We rounded everyone up and gathered outside the temple, intending to help out," the Mayor's wife, Alice, explained. "But there was some sort of barrier covering the whole building, so we couldn't get out."

"We didn't see any barrier when we came out," Ash said.

"It must have fallen when we destroyed the bell," Pikachu suggested. "Brodie must have raised it when we weren't looking to keep us from escaping him."

"The fool…it only trapped him inside with us, and sealed his fate," Yamiri said.

"Assuming there _was_ a barrier at all and they weren't just too Combusken to come in and give us a paw…" Leo muttered to himself.

"When the barrier fell and the temple started collapsing, we decided to wait and see who came out first before taking a course of action," Tonio continued. "If it were you all, we would throw a great celebration to commemorate this momentous victory! And if it had been Yamatorochi, well, we'd have either fought him to avenge you or fled screaming."

"Uh, thank you?" Lily said uncertainly, shrinking a little into herself. She hoped nobody recognized her as Bellum's daughter. The Mayor had said he wouldn't tell anyone who she really was and just explain that she was a wandering witch who'd been 'called' to town by recent events, but she wasn't sure of the extent to which the townsPokemon would believe that. It wasn't _that_ unlikely an alibi; was it? And it's not like any of them had ever seen her before and lived to tell the tale…

"I doubt that there's much that you could have done to help us, but we appreciate that you all came here to show your support nonetheless," Sash said.

"In any event…I take it by the temple's destruction that you've done it? That Brodie and Yamatorochi are beaten, and that the cursed bell has been destroyed?" Tonio asked.

The heroes nodded. "Neither Brodie, Yamatorochi, nor the bell shall trouble Twilight's Edge any longer," Yamiri said.

"We were able to trap Brodie to change me back to normal," Ash said. "But then he melded with the bell and turned into Yamamtorochi! It was a tough battle, but we managed to beat him, then shatter the bell before it could regenerate him."

"It certainly sounded like quite a struggle from out here! And I suppose it was your blade that finally ended the beast's reign of terror, young samurai?" Tonio asked Pikachu.

Pikachu hesitated, and then shook his head. "Surprisingly, no."

"No?!" Tonio cried in surprise. The other villagers gasped.

"While my sword managed to sever the monster's heads and kill him a second time, it was unable to destroy the bell that allowed all of this to come about in the first place," Pikachu said. He turned to Tiny. "It was my young nephew here who finished it off."

"Darkrai's prophecy foretold that the bell could only be destroyed by someone born one hundred years after Yamatorochi's first defeat. Tiny was just born a few short days ago, and so he was able to accomplish what we elders, with all our powers and years of experience, could not," Yamiri explained.

"Is that so? In that case, allow me to be the first to congratulate you, little one," Tonio said, extending a tentacle towards the Larvitar. Tiny stared at it blankly.

"Uh, Mayor, Tiny doesn't socialize, remember?" Ash whispered.

"Ah, right," the Drifblim said, quickly drawing back his tendril. "Er, anyway…for stopping that fiend once and for all, you have our (literally) undying gratitude! Just as we erected a statue of Susanoo when he defeated Yamatorochi a century ago, so too shall we build a statue of you seven heroes on this very spot, to celebrate your victory over the greatest evil our town has ever known!"

"You don't need to do that," Pikachu said humbly.

"Of course he does! Pikachu, don't discourage the nice mon from showering us with rewards, I think we've earned them!" Leo hissed into Pikachu's ear.

Pikachu flinched and glared at Leo. "You spat in my ear."

Leo turned pale and backed away, laughing nervously. "Uh, sorry, my bad."

"We shall throw a grand and horrifying party to commemorate this event, and henceforth shall host a party every year in memory of this day, the day Yamatorochi's bane was removed from our town forever! It shall be a holiday future generations will remember as…Team Aurabolt Day!" the Mayor announced, causing the crowd (and Leo) to cheer and the heroes to flush gratefully. "Er, just one thing, though. What happened to the Ghosts Brodie captured? I don't see them anywhere."

The heroes hesitated. "Oh mon, I completely forgot about them!" Ash realized.

"They were blown all over the place by the bell's destruction," Pikachu recalled.

"And we didn't have time to check on them after that due to the temple collapsing, thanks to Ash and Leo," Sasha said.

"I said I was sorry," Ash complained.

"No you didn't," Yamiri said.

"…Oh. Well. Um. I'm sorry, then," Ash said.

"I'm not," Leo said. They glared at him. "What? Like I said, we were going to destroy the place anyway!" He frowned. "You don't think they got trapped inside, do you?"

"Perhaps they simply passed on?" Lily suggested. "Without the bell, there was nothing to anchor their spirits here."

"No…there is still one thing." Everyone started as precisely one hundred and eight pale transparent specters phased into view. "A lingering sentiment…a desire to say 'farewell,'" Master Yon said calmly.

"Master!" Yamiri gasped.

"Dad!" Skullker wailed, recognizing one of the Dusclopses.

"Uncle Benny!" the Mayor cried, spotting another Drifblim.

"Mother!" said Alice, noticing a familiar Gastly.

"Without the bell or any ectoplasm to sustain us, we can't stay here for much longer," a Rotom said sadly.

"Very soon, all of us will disappear," said a Banette.

"But we couldn't leave just yet. Not before saying goodbye to our friends and family. Not before taking one last look at the dark town we love so much," a Mismagius spoke up.

"So we have been given this one moment, where we can speak with those we care for one last time and exchange all the words that must be said…" a Froslass said.

"And then we must depart. New horizons await in worlds beyond this," Master Yon said.

A hushed silence fell over the town as, one by one, the phantasms separated, each drifting to a knot of Pokemon; their friends and family and everyone else they had cared for in unlife, everyone with whom they had unfinished business to resolve. Whispers filled the temple ruins as the truly dead conversed with the not-quite-dead, and many a tear was shed as the townsPokemon spoke with friends and neighbors they had known for centuries for what was probably the last time.

Team Aurabolt was not left out of this emotional moment. Master Yon and Father Yamiri still had some things to say to each other before the Dusknoir had to depart with the rest. "Yamiri…you have matured into a fine mon," Yon observed. "Who you are now is a far cry from the freshly dead Sableye who stumbled into the Arcean Order all those centuries ago, begging for forgiveness. I am so very proud of you."

"If I have matured, it is only because I had such an excellent teacher," Yamiri rasped, his voice thick with emotion. "Everything I am, everything I have become, I could not have achieved without you. You gave me guidance when I needed it most; you offered hope and kindness to one who was unworthy of it. You were the best mentor and friend anyone could ever have hoped for. I am as you have made me, and a day does not go by when I do not thank Arceus for everything you have done for me."

"And not a day goes by when I don't thank Arceus that you came into my unlife," Yon said. "You were more than a pupil to me, Yamiri. You were like...the son I never had."

Yamiri did not seem too surprised to hear this. "I always thought of you as my father, too," he whispered. "You were always there for me when I needed it…unlike my real father, who I never knew."

"I would hug you, but I'm afraid I would just pass through you," Yon said apologetically.

"That's all right," Yamiri said. "This…right now, this is enough. It will suffice."

"I'm glad," Yon said. "Yamiri. As I said before, while I am at peace, there is still much I feel I could have done had I remained on this world a little longer. I will not ask you to pick up where I left off, however…you have your own afterlife to live (so to speak), and your own duties to attend to. I only hope that you can accomplish everything you set your heart on doing before, inevitably, your own end comes. And if, every now and then, you would look at my old prayer slips and think of me…I would be very happy."

"I will always think of you," Yamiri promised, crystalline tears forming at the edges of his gemstone eyes. "You are never far from my heart."

"And you are never far from mine. Keep up the good fight," Yon said. "There is much left for you to do in this world before we meet again. And do not return my slips to the Order. I think you have earned the right to keep them, and they might come in handy in the hard times to come…_Master_ Yamiri."

Yamiri started. "M-Master?! But…but I'm not qualified for-"

"You are if I say you are," Yon said sternly. "Will you deny me this last indulgence, Yamiri? A lesser priest would have given up in light of my abduction, or at the very least left everything to warriors like Team Aurabolt. Instead, you chose to take up my prayer slips and fight alongside them against a nefarious shapeshifter and the embodiment of Yamatorochi himself. A lesser priest would not have done something like that. But you did, Yamiri. And that is why you are worthy, in my eye, of being elevated to the rank of Master. There are many who will question my decision and say that you do not deserve this promotion…but all you need do is show them my—no, _your_ slips, and how well you can use them, and they will back down quickly enough. I believe in you, Yamiri. I know you can help protect this world from the forces that threaten it."

"…Master. I…" Yamiri bowed his head. "Thank you. For everything."

"I have had a wonderful unlife. Thank _you_, Yamiri, for playing a part in it." A faint light shone down on Yon. He glanced up and saw the dark clouds parting, allowing the moon to gaze upon Twilight's Edge once again. His body started to become even fainter, sparkles rising off his form as he faded away. "It is time."

Yamiri's head shot up. "No! Please…not yet…don't leave me!"

"I must go, Yamiri. I can stay no longer," Yon said, his voice fading as well. "Do not despair. There are more worlds than this. We will meet again…and when that time comes, I'm sure you'll have quite a few stories to tell me. I look forward to hearing them."

"Master…" Yamiri breathed.

"Goodbye, Yamiri," Yon whispered, disappearing completely, as did all the other spirits.

"…Goodbye, Yon," Yamiri said to thin air, crystals falling from his eyes. Moonlight glittered off them, and on the tears of the other townsPokemon who wept for the loss of their loved ones as Team Aurabolt looked on in silence. Leo, respecting the gravity of the moment, didn't even think about asking if he could have those crystal tears when Yamiri was done with them, knowing that now was not the right time. (The right time would be later, during the party, when everyone was too busy to notice him sneaking out to grab them. You never know when a few extra gemstones could come in handy!)

…

They still had a party after everyone finished mourning. Death was something the Pokemon of Twilight's Edge were intimately familiar with, and they weren't the kind of people who let it get in the way of having a good time. After the party and a good night's sleep fraught with pleasant nightmares, the heroes said farewell to their new friends and prepared to leave the land of darkness behind them.

"Fa—er, _Master_ Yamiri, are you sure you don't want to come with us?" Ash asked the priest as they trekked through the forest towards the edge of the dark realm together.

"We could probably use your help fighting the Nihilators," Leo agreed.

Yamiri shook his head. "Thank you, but no. I am needed back in Pokemon Square. I must rebuild the temple there, help the town prepare for the impending invasion, and see if there is any way I can assist the Guardian of Light in saving the world. Were it not for that, I would be happy to travel with you…but as you can see, my duty lies elsewhere."

"We understand," Pikachu said. "We wish you luck on your journey home."

"And I, you, on your quest," Yamiri said. They soon reached a fork in the road leading out of town. "I'm afraid this is where we must part ways," he said, looking down one of the paths. "My route does not continue alongside yours."

"I guess this is goodbye, then," Ash said sadly.

"Until you return to Pokemon Square," Yamiri said. "I will be waiting there for you. I will convey your greetings to everyone back home, and tell them of everything that took place here, especially the feats of heroism you have all committed."

"They may already know it by the time you get there, seeing as how we have a computer and all," Leo said.

Yamiri shrugged. "Perhaps, but they may appreciate hearing it from a different point of view." He bowed graciously to them. "Ash, Pikachu, continue to fight the good fight. Leo, continue striving and learning and you shall be a truly great warrior someday. Sasha, continue watching over them and guiding the others along the right path. Tiny, I hope you will grow and develop enough for me to hear you speak the next time we meet. Lily, you have nothing to fear your past anymore, you are in safe hands among friends."

"I know," Lily said quietly.

"It has been an honor fighting alongside you all. I hope that we may do so again someday," Yamiri said.

"As do we," Pikachu said.

"It was nice fighting with you too, Master," Ash said.

"I hope that the next time we see you, you'll have some awesome new Master-level moves to show us! That would be awesome!" Leo said.

Yamiri smiled. "Perhaps I will, at that. Until that day, then, this is farewell…I will see you all again soon, in Pokemon Square!" They waved and shouted their goodbyes as he turned and started trekking down the path away from them.

"He was a cool old guy. I hope that isn't the last we'll see of him," Leo commented as they continued on their way.

"I doubt it. We'll probably wind up going back to Pokemon Square sooner or later, and if you're still with us then, I see no reason you won't run into him again," Ash said.

"It's a shame he couldn't join us, but the town could probably use his skills right now more than we could," Pikachu agreed.

"He certainly has earned the rank of Master in the Order," Sasha said. "Are all Arcean priests that good at fighting?"

"Combat training is an important part of every priest's education," Pikachu said. "We live in a dangerous world, and there are many Pokemon and monsters that wouldn't think twice about harming a holy mon. Priests need to know how to defend themselves if they're going to go out into the world, spreading the word and fighting the forces of evil."

"Makes them more useful than most of the priests in the games I play…who are usually either passive, corrupt, useless, or downright evil," Leo commented. "Although considering that we know of at least two occasions now when the Order's been somewhat lax on important matters makes me wonder if maybe they could be doing a better job."

"I'm sure the priests who sealed the bell away had their reasons for forgetting to wash Yamatorochi's blood off," Pikachu said firmly.

"And the guys who sold artifacts like my dice on the Internet?" Leo asked.

"…I'm still working on that one," Pikachu mumbled.

"Tiny, what do you think of talking to Master Yamiri the next time you see him?" Ash asked Tiny. The Larvitar stared at him blankly. "Yeah, that's what I figured. How about you, Lily? What were your impressions of Yamiri?"

Lily, who had been lost in thought, blinked. "Hmm? Sorry, I didn't catch that."

"He was asking what you thought of Yamiri," Leo said.

"Him? Oh, he seemed like a very nice fellow. All of you do…I'm not used to people being kind to me…" Lily said.

"We could be cruel to you if that would make you more comfortable," Sasha said in what was _probably_ a joke.

Lily shook her head frantically. "N-no, that's all right! You're fine as you all are! Thank you for…for giving me a chance. For accepting me on your team. I still don't know if I really deserve to be here, but…but I fully intend to try and live up to your expectations and prove myself a worthy member of Team Aurabolt!"

Ash snapped his claws. "Oh, that reminds me! Pikachu, get the rescue kit out, will you?"

"It's in your bag," Pikachu reminded him.

"…Ah. So it is," Ash said, rummaging through his bag.

While Ash got the kit out, Leo asked Lily a question. "What were you thinking about when Ash asked you about Yamiri? You looked pretty distracted."

"Oh, um…it was nothing," Lily said nervously.

"Come on, you can tell me! I promise I won't laugh if it's embarrassing or anything like that," Leo assured her.

"Well…last night…something happened that I didn't understand," Lily said. "When Yamiri and all the others were crying because Brodie's victims were leaving them…I cried too. But I don't understand why! I wasn't hurt or in pain, and I had helped defeat Brodie, meaning we had won, so I should have been happy or at the very least relieved that we were victorious and that I did not get eaten by him. But instead, I was…sad. So I couldn't have been crying out of 'happiness' like I did before. But if that's the case, why was I crying? Why was I sad?"

Leo gave her a surprised look. "…Lily, you were sad because _they_ were sad."

Lily blinked. "Huh? I don't understand."

"No, you probably wouldn't, would you…um…how do I put this…" Leo thought for a moment. "Well…do you know what 'empathy' means?"

Lily frowned in puzzlement. "No. What is it? Does it hurt?"

"No! Well, sometimes," Leo admitted. "Empathy is the capability to share another being's emotions or feelings, the feeling of compassion or concern for someone else, to wish to see them better off and happier or to respond to somebody else's emotional state by experiencing similar feelings. So, if someone else is happy, you're happy too, if they're sad, so are you, and so on. You felt sad because everyone else was. You felt sad for them because of their loss."

Lily was astonished. "I…felt sad because other people were? That…has never happened before. I've always regretted killing people, yes, and I felt sorry that I had ended their lives, but I didn't…I didn't feel as they did. Not that I had the chance to, what with me killing them and all, but you understand. I did not know it was possible for someone's emotions to be in tune with another's like that."

"Well, it is," Leo said. "Lots of Pokemon experience it around people they're close to. Only complete psychopaths like your mom are devoid of empathy and enjoy other people's suffering. Well, actually, everyone enjoys the suffering of others to some extent—it's called schadenfreude—but that's irrelevant. The fact that you were able to feel sad for other people means you are capable of caring for Pokemon other than yourself. It means you're not a monster, Lily. You have a heart."

Lily was stunned by this revelation. "I…that's…that's incredible. I never thought…never did I imagine that I could…do most Pokemon have this 'empathy?'"

"To an extent. And other stuff, too," Leo said.

"There's _more?!_" Lily cried in disbelief. "Oh dear…I've lived a rather sheltered life, haven't I? Well, sheltered in the sense in that I've only been educated in evil and have no understanding of 'compassion' or 'caring' or any of the other things that normal Pokemon experience on a regular basis. This is all so new to me."

"Maybe I can help," Leo offered. "I know lots about emotions and the sorts of things a 'normal' Pokemon does. Probably more than anyone else in the team, since I'm the only one who doesn't have amnesia, a childhood full of intensive training, or is an emotional brick. I could teach you about all the stuff your mom never thought was important. Things about regular life, and feelings, and all that other kind of junk."

"You would do that for me?" Lily asked, amazed.

"Sure," Leo said. "I'm your friend, aren't I? This is the sort of thing friends do for each other. We help them out, teach them things they don't know, and so on."

"But I have nothing I can teach you in return," Lily protested. "Since you are not capable of performing magic, and I am uncertain that most of the things I have learned from my mother would be information you'd care to know, I don't know how I could repay you for being a…a 'normalcy' tutor."

"You don't need to give me anything," Leo said. "Friendship doesn't have to be based on equivalent exchange. Seeing you happy and adjusting well to your new unlife with us is all the payment I need for helping you." _That, and maybe being my girlfriend one day, though now is not the time to bring something like that up. I wouldn't want to scare her off so quickly after she joined the party, after all. Plus, this'll give me a chance to get to know her better and see whether or not we'd make a good match. She's cute in a troubled, broken bird sort of way, and I like what I've seen of her so far, but I'll need to get to know her better before I decide whether I should pursue her romantically or not. And being her tutor will put me in just such a position to bond with her and see what she's really like, as well as subtly shape her personality and character development and likes and dislikes until she is a perfect match for me, the Galatea to my Grumpygmalion! Muhahahahahahahahaha!_

"Sasha, why is Leo standing there looking into space laughing maniacally?" a worried Lily asked the Absol as Leo cackled like a Linoone.

"He does that sometimes," Sasha said, unconcerned. "It's something you get used to."

"Oh. He said he was going to teach me how to be like a normal Pokemon. Now I'm not so sure. He's laughing like my mother," Lily said uneasily.

Sasha shrugged. "'Normal' is subjective. To me, 'normal' is lying curled up in a cave next to my mate with the meat of my latest kill digesting in my stomach. To Leo, 'normal' is playing video games and often saying or doing ridiculous things. What kind of 'normal' do you want to be?"

"…That's a good question," Lily admitted. "I'll have to think about that."

"Ah, here it is," Ash said, pulling something out of the rescue team kit.

"Finally! You have way too much junk in there. You need to do a better job of organizing it," Pikachu lectured.

"Yeah, yeah," Ash said dismissively. "Leo, could you come over here, please?"

"What is it, Ash?" Lily asked, drifting over.

"I intended to give this to you after we beat Brodie, but what with the party and everything I forgot until now." He opened his paws, revealing a scarf and a badge.

Lily gasped. "Are those…?"

"Lily, for helping change me back to normal, defeating Brodie/Yamatorochi, and renouncing your evil ways, I would like to officially induct you into Team Aurabolt," Ash said. "These items I present to you are to be worn with honor, and will tell the world that you are a member of a Rescue Team dedicated to saving lives, protecting the innocent, and doing the right thing. Will you accept them, and your place in our team?"

"I-I don't know," Lily stammered. "Do…do you really think I deserve-"

"It's a rhetorical question, Lily," Pikachu said. "You don't actually have a choice. If Ash wants you in the team, then you're in the team, and if you say 'no' he'll keep asking until you finally give in just to shut him up. I've seen it happen far too many times."

"It is too late for you to leave. There is no escape now," Sasha said half-seriously.

"You're practically one of us already, so say 'yes' and make it official!" Leo encouraged.

"Then…then yes! Yes, I gladly accept!" Lily cried, her heart soaring and filling her with untold levels of 'joy,' even more than she had experienced the previous night when they openly welcomed her into their ranks.

"Then it is with great pride that I give you these symbols of office, marking you as a member of Team Aurabolt in the service of Pokemon Square," Ash said, tying the scarf around her neck and pinning the badge to her hat.

Leo and Pikachu applauded and Tiny licked a rock. Sasha would have applauded as well, but she couldn't clap since she needed all four paws on the ground for balance. "Congratulations, Lily! You're one of us now! Welcome to the team!" Pikachu said.

"Woohoo! Hey, wait, why didn't we have a ceremony like this when I joined? Or Michael?" Leo asked.

"I didn't feel like it then," Ash said. "Besides, I know that this means a lot to Lily, so I wanted to make it special for her."

"Oh, all right then," Leo said. "Hey, come to think of it, I don't think we ever officially inducted Tiny either, did we?"

Ash paused. Tiny stared at him accusingly. The Lucario sweatdropped. "Aw crap, I knew I was forgetting something."

"I…this is…" Lily trembled. Her eyes watered up and she burst into tears of happiness for the second time in her life. "Thank you…thank you all so much!" She enveloped them in a hug, which was kind of awkward since she did it by wrapping strands of hair around them. And because Tiny started screaming at the top of his lungs. Lily didn't seem to notice. "You're the best friends a witch could ask for!"

"And you're the best witch friend guys like us could ask for," Ash said in reply.

"Yeah, so can you please let us go? Tiny's screaming in my ear. I think I might go deaf if he keeps it up for much longer," Pikachu said.

"Sorry," Lily apologized, letting them go. "I was just so…happy! I'm still trying to understand this feeling, and the best ways to express it."

"Well, that's what you've got me for," Leo said proudly, puffing out his chest. Or trying to, since his chest was his shell. "I'll teach you everything you need to know about the right ways to express yourself and how to be a 'normal' Pokemon! As normal as an undead witch in a traveling group of heroes trying to save the world can get, anyway."

"Thank you very much, Leo, I appreciate that," Lily said gratefully.

Ash and Pikachu exchanged worried looks. "Leo's going to be teaching Lily? Should we be concerned about this?" Pikachu asked.

"Maybe…but, hey, what's the worst that could happen?" Ash asked. Pikachu stared at him. Ash considered for a moment. "Ah. Yes. Yes, I see why that might be a problem." They glanced at Leo and Lily, who were now chatting avidly. "Well…let's just keep an eye on them for the time being. If Leo starts imparting too much of his…Leo-ness on her, we'll intervene."

Pikachu nodded. "We should probably all be helping to educate her, so she gets a multifaceted unbiased view of the way the real world works."

"She doesn't already know how the real world works?" Ash asked.

"She knows how it works through evil eyes. We're going to show her how people who aren't psychotic world-destroying monsters see it," Pikachu said.

"That sounds like a good plan," Sasha said.

"Yeah, and maybe we can get Tiny in on it too, loosen him up a little?" Ash suggested, glancing at the Larvitar, who stared blankly. "Well…one step at a time, I suppose."

_Are you happy, Lily?_ B asked the witch as the team continued through the forest.

_Very much so, _Lily said joyfully.

_I told you this would be the day when everything changed, didn't I?_ B said.

_You did. I'm sorry I didn't believe you. Thank you for convincing me to take a chance with them,_ Lily said.

_You're welcome. I'm glad you're finally free of that horrible womon. This should have happened decades ago, and would have if you had found some other way or person to remove Bellum's curse on you,_ B said.

_Yes. It's too bad they can't fix the other one binding me to our Master,_ Lily thought sadly.

_What makes you so sure of that?_ B asked.

_That curse can only be broken if I form a bond with someone stronger than that of god and slave. What bond could possibly be stronger than that? _Lily asked.

B laughed. _You underestimate them, Lily. There is so much more you have to learn. It's good that you're with friends, now…they can show you what really matters. They will be the ones to set you free._

_Do you really think so? _Lily asked.

_I don't see why not. The future seems bright to me. Just look at the sun,_ B said.

_What sun?_ Lily asked. And then they crossed the border of Dusk Forest and found themselves out in the sunlight again. _Ohhhh._

"Ah, good to feel the sunshine again," Ash said, stretching his arms.

"Yeah, the dark lands aren't so bad, but I don't mind a little good old sunlight now and then," Leo said. He squinted and put on his shades. "It makes me need my sunglasses, though…which is not necessarily a bad thing."

"Now we head to Treasure Town?" Sasha asked Pikachu.

"We're going to have to, if we're going to find a way to Zero Island and the next Star Badge," Pikachu said. "We have one at the moment, but the Nihilators have four, so we're really going to need to pick up the pace if we're going to have any chance of finding the remaining two before they do."

"I do not look forward to Treasure Town…it sounds like a terrible place, from all you have told me," Sasha said. "And it smells bad, too."

"Yeah, it does. We'll try to minimize the amount of time we need to spend there," Ash said. "Just long enough to get a boat, probably. That's the best way to reach Zero Island at the moment, isn't it? Considering that the Wailords have moved on by now."

"I'm not sure I trust any ship we can find in that town…maybe the Professor will have some ideas," Pikachu suggested. Tiny sucked his pacifier.

As the others discussed their future travel plans, Lily stared at the verdant green plains spread out before her, gently caressed by the sunlight beaming from above. _The sun is shining, Lily,_ B said. _Even in a world where things as horrible as what happened to you take place and evil can be found lurking around every corner if you look hard enough, the sun is still shining. That means there is hope, even in the darkest of times. That means there is beauty, even in the harshest of climates. That means there is joy, even in sorrow._

"Hey Lily! Come on, we're heading out!" Ash shouted, snapping the Misdreavus out of her reverie.

"Coming!" she cried, floating over.

_The sun is shining for you, Lily, and it will keep shining as long as you believe in it. With your friends by your side, there is nothing you can't do,_ B whispered. _Be happy, Lily. You've earned it._

Together, Team Aurabolt walked off into the sunlight.

…

Meanwhile, back in Pokemon Square…

"Oh, there you guys are!" Latios said when he saw Raiki, Aaron, Scotty, Joy, Nuken, Sabrina, and the Bagon walk down the Pokemon Center hallway towards him. "What took you so long? She's been asking for you. Though I really don't know why she should bother with _that_ jerk," he said, glaring at the Bagon.

"How dare you-" Nuken snarled.

"Nuken, leave it, I don't really care," the Bagon said wearily.

"How is she?" Joy asked one of her daughters, who was standing next to Latios.

"She's awake and seems to have full control of speech, psychic, and motor functions, with no visible negative effects from staying comatose for so long. She's already had something to eat, and expressed a desire to talk with you guys specifically and get out of the Pokemon Center as soon as possible," the Happiny reported.

"Us specifically? Why us? Did she ken we were coming?" Scotty wondered.

"She has the power of the Guardian of Light. It is possible," Sabrina said.

"Latios, how is she?" the Bagon asked anxiously.

"She's…" Latios hesitated. "Different. But also the same."

"…Well, that was unhelpfully vague," Raiki said.

Latios scowled. "She _sounds_ like my sister, and her thoughts feel the same, only…older. Every word that comes out of her mouth or mind is practically dripping with…power. Confidence. Experience. Wisdom. And her mind…I'm still linked to her, but I'm a little frightened to exploit our connection to dig deeper. Her mind's become a _lot_ bigger and more complicated, and I'm sort of scared to see what it looks like. I'm not sure it would be able to fit inside my head." He shuddered slightly. "It's kind of weird. I've always felt like I was the stronger mon, that I was the eldest, that I was the one who'd always protect her. But now…now it feels like _she's_ the eldest, and that she's the one who's protecting me. Like she's matured faster and gone to a level that I'm not sure I can reach."

"Oh my…" the Bagon murmured worriedly.

"It sounds like she's changed a lot," Aaron commented, glancing past the Latios. He could see Latias's Aura. In fact, it was just about all he could see. It was so brilliant that it blotted out the weaker, dimmer Auras around it. Fortunately, Aaron's other senses were more than good enough to compensate for this partial blindness of his second sight, so he didn't have to worry about bumping into walls and making a fool of himself. To his Aura-sight, Latias looked strikingly different from how she had been just a few days ago. Her Aura had gone from the bright, kind, earnest glow of a pure heart to the blazing nova of a higher deity, a giant dragon of white fire bigger than her physical body, bigger than the room she was in, bigger than the entire Pokemon Center! It was amazing that he was the only one who noticed that they were inside of it…but it's not like it affected any of them but him. At least, not yet. He was sure that a being as powerful as the Guardian of Light could do things with her Aura that even a Master like himself could barely even dream of. He wondered if she could teach him.

"Well, that's the thing," Latios said. "Like I said, she's kind of different, but she's also not. It's like…it's like she's still the sweet, gentle sister I've always known but…more. Like she's gotten bigger and all her qualities have been amplified or something, even though she's still technically the same size. Sorry, I know this is confusing, but this isn't something that can really be put into words…"

"I know exactly what you mean," Aaron said, still staring into the blinding whiteness of Latias's ascended Aura.

"The Latias we know is a distant shadow of the great being that is the Guardian of Light," Sabrina said. "It is only natural that she would seem 'bigger' because she is more _real_, originating from the very center of all things."

"If she's more real, then what are we? Illusions?" Raiki asked skeptically.

"I certainly feel real," Nuken agreed.

"You can phase through walls and turn invisible. I can see why some would say you're not entirely real," the Bagon joked. The Shedinja grunted.

"Actually, that may make him _more_ real," Sabrina corrected. "You could say that as a spirit, the boundaries and laws of our physical reality mean less to him now that he is not confined to a shell of flesh like the rest of us are. There are many Ghost philosophers who have theorized that _they_ are, in fact, the living ones rather than the undead, and that everything we call 'reality' is merely a dream we have not yet woken up from."

"Well, considering that, according tae that logic, the only way tae wake up from said dream is tae _die_, I think I'll be happier tae keep dreaming a while longer," Scotty said.

"Me too," Raiki said. "Can we quit it with the metaphysics and just go in already?"

They entered the room. Latias was lying chest-down on the hospital bed flipping through channels at the speed of light looking like someone who'd just woken up from a long nap rather than a Pokemon that had been caught up in a massive explosion and spent the last several days in a coma. It was only when she turned her head and the TV switched off as they approached that they noticed the remote control was nowhere near her. "Hello," she said, a warm smile forming on her face. "I have been expecting you."

The Bagon felt disoriented. The smile was familiar, he saw it on Latias's face every day she spent any amount of time with him, but the eyes…they _looked_ the same, but he got the feeling that something else was peering out of him than the dragon-girl he was in love with. Something far older and more powerful than he could possibly imagine. The fact that this something was radiating peace and happiness much like the Latias he remembered failed to comfort him, because there was an edge to this peace. The Latias he knew tried to find the best in everyone—she actually thought Nuken was _cute!_—but this new version of Latias had something about her that said, while she too tried to find the best in everyone, that she was well aware of the more despicable things they were capable of, and if any of them tried it on her watch, they would very sorely regret it.

"Did you foresee our arrival?" Sabrina asked.

"Yes. I saw you coming towards the Center out that window," Latias said, pointing at a window overlooking the town square.

There was an awkward pause. "Er, I dinnae think that's-" Scotty started.

"So, you seem to be doing pretty good for someone who just got out of a coma," Raiki interrupted. "I like the new look. I think it suits you."

"Thank you. I'm still getting used to it," Latias said. "It's been a while since the last time I physically incorporated. You would think you'd get used to having a body by now, but every time I get a new one it feels like I have to relearn everything from scratch."

An uneasy silence filled the room. "So…who are we talking to, exactly?" Aaron said after a moment. "Are you Latias, our friend and Latios's sister, or…Latias, the Guardian of Light, who we summoned to save the world?"

"And if you're _not_ the Latias we know, then where is she?" the Bagon asked anxiously.

"Yeah, I was wondering the same thing," Latios said.

"I'm both. And neither. It's…a little complicated," Latias said. "I have two sets of memories. One is of living on this planet for the last couple of centuries with my brother and making friends with you all. The other is of living in an unbelievably beautiful palace with my family in the heavens and battling the forces of evil on numerous fronts for several billions of years. Neither set of memories has a higher priority over the other, they just sort of…blend together. So the simple answer is that I'm Latias, but _which_ Latias is a more complicated matter."

"Ah," said Latios and the Bagon, not looking particularly reassured. Or comprehending.

"Then, if you have the memories of the Guardian—rather, if you _are_ the Guardian, then you know why we brought you here," Aaron said.

"Which is more than us, since we're still not one hundred percent sure what's going on," Raiki said. "Could you tell us? Because I'd really like to know."  
"I may not know as much as you think," Latias confessed. "The villain you call Oblivion's Shadow-"

"Wait, how'd ye know that's his name?" Scotty asked. "I dinnae think we told Latias that…did we?"

"She knows because she's the Guardian of Light, duh!" Joy said.

"Actually, it's because I read all your minds when you entered the Pokemon Center and figured things out from them," Latias said.

There was an awkward pause. "You did _what?!_" Nuken asked, bristling with fury.

"That's…er…rather rude, Miss Guardian," Joy said uneasily.

"Aren't Psychics supposed to, you know, _stay out _of people's heads if they don't have permission? Because when they don't do that, people getting worried about shit like mind control and brainwashing and then the angry mobs start forming…" Raiki said anxiously.

"Although if the Psychic is powerful enough to not need to bother being polite to weaker minds, then it is not as if the mob is able to do anything but become the mind-slaves of said Psychic," Sabrina commented.

Everyone gave her disturbed looks. "That's…not exactly reassuring," Raiki said.

"Is there something you want to tell us, Sabrina?" Aaron asked.

"Told you she'd changed…" Latios muttered.

Latias flushed. "I'm sorry. It's not like I _wanted_ to read your minds. I mean, I did, but…oh…let me put it this way. My powers have increased exponentially. Most Psychics can restrain themselves so they're not constantly invading the minds of other people. But my mind is so strong now that I have to keep my powers from _crushing_ the minds of others or making you feel and think what I feel and think. Automatically reading the minds of everyone within a few miles is the baseline for my mental skills now. Regrettably, I can't hold back any further than that."

"Eek," said Latios. "Uh, that doesn't include me, does it sis? Since we're connected and all? My mind can withstand yours, can't it?"

"Somehow I doubt that," Nuken said.

"Stay out of my head!" Scotty wailed, clutching his cranium.

"…That doesn't exactly reassure us either," said a freaked-out Raiki.

"Are you _supposed_ to be that powerful?" Aaron asked uncertainly.

"I am the physical embodiment of a deity from the Celestial Heavens, higher up than most gods you'd find on this planet," Latias said apologetically. "It sort of comes with the territory. That's why I had to take the Latias here as a host body. If I tried to manifest in this universe on my own, well…let's just say the results wouldn't be pretty."

Latios gulped. "Woo boy."

Scotty took a step back. "But, uh, the planet won't blow up or anything as long as ye're like this…right?"

Latias smiled reassuringly. "No, Scotty, I won't blow up the planet like this. I probably couldn't even if I wanted to (Not that I wanted to, of course!) While my power levels are currently far above most mortal Pokemon, they're still a far cry from my real power, or even how powerful I was supposed to be in this form. Something went wrong with the summoning spell you used to bring me here, and as a result a significant portion of my power is stuck between this world and my real body back in the Celestial Heavens."

"Er, sorry about that," Aaron apologized.

"It's all right, it wasn't your fault. Well, not entirely, anyway. There was outside interference," Latias said.

"I thought as much," Sabrina murmured.

"Who was it?" Aaron asked.

"I don't know at the moment," Latias admitted. "But I intend to find out."

"Wait, 'not entirely'? Then it _was_ partly my fault?!" the Bagon cried in alarm.

"Ha! I knew it!" Latios Murkrowed triumphantly. Everyone glared at him. "What?"

Latias hesitated. "…Yes, but not for the reasons you might think. That's something I'd rather talk to you about later, Rayquaza. In private."

"I'm not Rayquaza…" the Bagon said mournfully. "Just a Bagon who was playacting as him for a few hundred years."

"My liege…" Nuken said.

"You couldn't be more wrong," Latias said with a sad smile.

"Wait, he's not the real Rayquaza?" asked a confused Latios. "Did you all know this? Why does nobody tell me these things?!" Latias telepathically filled him in on the Bagon's backstory. "Ah. Okay. Thanks. I still hate you, though," Latios said to the Bagon, who sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Er…back on subject…you said you know who Oblivion's Shadow is from our memories. That means you must also know about Mew, the Planet Seed, the computer at the center of the Earth, the impending barbarian invasion, and the Nihilators' attempts to open the door under Treasure Town," Aaron said.

Latias nodded. "That's right."

"Wait, what was that about Mew, a seed and the center of the Earth?" Latios asked. Latias telepathically beamed him the information. His eyes widened. "Oh. Wow. Really? That's a big surprise. I never would have guessed something like that in a million years."

"If you know all that, then can you tell us what we _don't_ know?" Raiki asked.

"Pertaining to Oblivion's Shadow's true identity and what he is up to?" Sabrina asked. "One would assume that, as one of the highest-ranking members of the Guardians, you would have discovered all that before coming here."

Latias sighed. "You'd think so, wouldn't you? Unfortunately, it's not that simple."

"What do you mean?" Nuken asked.

"Everything in the Omniverse is connected by superstrings, invisible energy strands that convey information and control the laws of physics and magic and things like that. By monitoring the superstrings and the way they interact with the things they're connected to, we Guardians can theoretically see everything that's going on everywhere," Latias said.

"That's a wee bit creepy," Scotty commented.

"What, even when I'm in the bathroom?!" Raiki said in alarm.

Latias wisely ignored that. "Whenever our sensors pick up a potential reality-threatening disaster in the near future, we can examine the superstrings to pinpoint where, when, and who is responsible, and launch an appropriate response, either by directly intervening or subtly influencing local heroes to take care of it. However, Oblivion's Shadow, whoever he is, has somehow managed to tangle up the superstrings so badly that we didn't even realize there was a problem brewing here until it was almost too late. Even now that we know he's been messing with our information feed, we still haven't been able to undo it enough to find out who he is or what he's really up to, since he keeps screwing it back up as fast as we try to fix it. It was only by using a hole in the weave he's made that I was able to project my spirit here and possess your Latias."

They all sagged in disappointment. "So you don't know much more than we do…" Aaron said with a sigh.

"Well, that's rather depressing…" Raiki said.

"Bollocks to this, lads…" Scotty grumbled.

"An enemy so great that even the rulers of the Omniverse cannot make him out…this does not bode well…" Sabrina said.

"And let me guess, because whoever interfered with the summoning spell caused you to lose a significant amount of your power, you're not sure you can fix this tangle from the inside, or even defeat Oblivion's Shadow at all, are you?" Nuken asked cynically.

"I'm afraid not," Latias said sadly.

Nuken sighed. "Typical."

"But if we could get that power back, you could stop him, couldn't you?" the Bagon asked, naked hope shining desperately in his eyes.

Latias nodded. "I believe so, yes."

"How would we go about doing that?" Joy asked.

"We'd need to find out who interfered with the original spell, as well as deal with the reason Rayquaza caused it to backfire," Latias said.

"But I'm not…oh, never mind," the Bagon said, deciding that if Latias wanted to call him that, it was good enough for him. It wasn't as if he had any other name, after all.

"Come on, do we really need him again? After how badly he screwed up before?" Latios growled, glaring at Rayquaza.

"Brother, relax. You need to let go of your petty dislike of him. It's not healthy. We need him, and aside from that, I like him a lot. Isn't that enough?" Latias pleaded, transmitting her exasperation with her brother for acting like a dick and how deeply she cared for Rayquaza over their telepathic link.

Latios sighed, caving in. He never could resist when she looked at him like that. "Well…fine, I'll give him another chance. But if he puts you in another coma or worse, so help me I'll-" Nuken glared at him ominously, and he quickly said, "Give him a very stern talking-to. One he'll never forget!" Raiki and Scotty snickered.

"I will do whatever I can to help you get back to full power," Sabrina promised Latias.

"As will I," added Aaron.

"And I'll do anything it takes to make up for whatever mistake I made that's left you like this," Rayquaza promised.

"Yeah, you'd better," Latios said.

"Thank you, all of you. I appreciate that," Latias said.

"And while they're doing that, I dinnae suppose there's any way we could, say, call for backup? What with ye not being at yer best and all?" Scotty asked.

"I'm afraid not," Latias said. "The hole I used to get here is now blocked by my lost power. The next closest hole in the tangle is too far away for us to use to send a signal back to headquarters. And even if we _could_ call for help, I'm not sure we'd get a response. Right now, our forces are stretched thin taking care of problems all over the Omniverse. If even one team or agent was reassigned to help us, the situation out there could spiral out of control and trigger a great disaster. Several, most likely."

"Yikes," said Raiki.

"Sounds like it's a very trying time for everyone right about now," Joy commented.

"You can say that again," Latias said with a sigh. "I always hate Hell Years."

"Hell Years? What are those?" Rayquaza asked.

"I'll explain another time," Latias promised. "Suffice it to say that now would not be the best time to get help from the Guardians. There are problems brewing all over the place that all demand immediate attention. You're lucky they were even able to send me here."

"Sounds that way," Raiki said with a sigh.

"Will your being here make things harder for the Guardians elsewhere?" Joy asked.

"I hope not," Latias said. "They should be able to handle things without me, at least for a little while. The faster I can deal with the situation here and get back, the better it'll be for the Omniverse as a whole."

"Gee, sorry we're taking up so much of your time…" Latios grumbled.

"It isn't like that!" Latias protested. "Do you think I'd have come if it weren't really important? The problem here, if left unchecked, could get so big that even all the other issues we're dealing with will seem as nothing in comparison. There could be another Crisis War in the works. We don't want one of those, do we?"

They all shuddered at the thought. "Definitely not," Sabrina agreed.

"It's really that bad, huh? Yikes…" Raiki muttered.

"Quite a lot of pressure, is it not?" Nuken said.

"Definitely," Rayquaza agreed, uncertain they could handle this much responsibility.

"Considering how serious this is, is there anything else you can tell us about the current threat we face? Anything at all?" Aaron asked.

"Aye, we need _one_ piece of good news out of all this," Scotty agreed.

"I know one other thing. I can tell you for a fact what's behind the Door under Treasure Town. I should know, since I helped seal it and threw it to the far reaches of the Omniverse—apparently, here--millions of years ago," Latias said. "Since I defeated it before, I know how to do so again, though it would be easier if I had my full power."

They perked up at this news. "That's good to hear," Aaron said.

"I mean, we probably don't have to worry about that thing getting out if my boys do their job properly, but just in case it _does_ open it's reassuring to know we have you here to stop it if it does," Raiki said.

"So what manner o' beastie is behind that portal, anyway?" Scotty asked.

"It's none other than-" Latias started, but was interrupted when Sabrina gasped and stiffened in place, eyes glowing.

"Sabrina!" Raiki cried.

"Wh-what's happening to her?!" asked the alarmed Rayquaza.

"She's having a vision of the future," Aaron said.

Joy sighed in relief. "Oh good, I was worried she was having a seizure or going into psychic-shock, neither of which are fun or easy to treat, let me tell you."

"Hmm, how dramatically inconvenient that she should have a vision right when we were about to learn an important piece of information regarding our enemy's intentions," Nuken grumbled.

"She's a seer. I think the drama is part of how they do things," Rayquaza suggested. "If it weren't flashy and impressive, how many people would pay attention?"

"What is it, Sabrina?" Aaron asked as the Xatu came out of her trance.

"I saw an airship being attacked by Redwing's flock over Howling Forest. Its passengers are friends of Team Aurabolt's, powerful warriors who will be helpful in fighting the barbarians," Sabrina said.

"Friends of Team Aurabolt's? They must be those fighters Ash and Pikachu met in Mt. Battle," Raiki realized. "They said they were going to come over here to help us out."

"Then we need to help them, if they're being attacked by Redwing…he's decreed that any airships spotted flying over Kanjohenn are to be knocked out of the skies! He sees them as a threat to his aerial supremacy, since he commands the largest group of Flying Pokemon on the continent," Aaron said.

"Aye, but how exactly are we supposed to rescue them? Howling Forest is hundreds of miles away, we would never get there in time!" Scotty pointed out.

"I could dispatch some of the dragons who escorted us to town to deal with that feathered menace," Nuken said. "He's harassed our patrols and trade routes for far too long. It's about time somebody put a stop to his piracy!"

"They still wouldn't make it in time, and there are too many wings in Redwing's flock," Sabrina said. "Your dragons would be slaughtered, and their eyes would be pecked out and fed to the hatchlings of Redwing's strongest warriors to increase their eyesight."

"Ew," said Latios.

"I'm pretty sure you can't improve your eyes by eating someone else's," Joy said.

"Yes, but _they_ don't know that," Sabrina said.

"Okay, what if Sabrina Teleported us there? She's able to go to the Southern Islands and the Sky Tower, I doubt the Howling Forest would be too big a stretch for her," Raiki suggested. "We'll round up our best fighters and head out to eat that buzzard for dinner! Not literally of course, since we don't actually eat Pokemon meat but a sort of synthesized supplement we grow on trees and stuff."

"One problem," Scotty said. "All of Redwing's mons can fly. How many of ours can?"

Raiki grimaced. "Good point."

"I'll go," Latias said. "I can fly there, stop Redwing's army, and save the ship in time."

They blinked at her. "You can?" Aaron asked.

"Sis, we're pretty fast flyers, but we can't move _that_ fast!" Latios pointed out.

"_You_ can't," Latias corrected. "And I couldn't…at least, not until now. I am the Guardian of Light. The power of light is mine. I can move at the speed of light to travel wherever I wish. I can usually go faster, but with the limited power I have at the moment, I should be able to manage a couple of quick lightspeed bursts to get to the Howling Forest in time to save that ship and bring it back in one piece."

"Ooh, neat," Latios said. He frowned. "Why can't _I_ go that fast too?"

"I thought it was impossible for living creatures to reach or exceed the speed of light without being transformed into energy unless they were using some kind of wormhole or entering a 'hyperspace' where the regular laws of physics don't apply," Rayquaza said.

"Oh, you remember that!" said Nuken, impressed. "I had thought you were asleep during that lesson, Your Majesty."

Rayquaza flushed. "Some things stuck in my head. That was one of them."

"Normally that would be the case, but I was there when Dialga and Palkia wrote the laws of physics. They don't have to apply to me if I don't want them to," Latias said.

"Cool! Again, why can't I go that fast?" Latios complained.

"Are you sure you're up to it? You just woke up!" Joy protested.

"And then there's the fact that you'd be taking on several hundred winged Pokemon all by yourself to consider," Nuken said.

"Oh dear," said the alarmed Rayquaza.

"I'm fine. The coma was like a healing trance to help me get used to this body and my current power level. Going to Howling Forest and taking on Redwing's flock shouldn't require too much exertion on my part," Latias assured her. "I'm pretty sure I can put a stop to them on my own, though I'll need to rest for a while afterwards."

"Wow, I wish I could say the same thing after getting up first thing in the morning," Raiki grunted. "I'm not as young as I used to be."

"When are we ever?" Aaron asked wryly.

"We are wasting time dithering. Guardian, if you wish to save them, you had better hurry before their ship is blown out of the sky," Sabrina said.

Latias nodded and levitated off the bed. "All right. I'll be back soon. Latios, if you want to show the others what I'm up to, we can sight-share."

"Uh, good. Sure. No problem," Latios said, slightly worried because he was uncertain exactly what sights he would be sharing with the others.

"But are you sure you can take them all on? You're just one Pokemon, and there's a lot of them!" Rayquaza said worriedly.

"She's not one Pokemon, she's one physical manifestation of a god," Sabrina said.

"Whatever," Rayquaza sighed.

The nearby window opened, seemingly of its own volition. "Don't worry. I promise I'll try to take care of myself. I didn't travel trillions of light-eons to die at the talons of a group of common thieves and murderers." She smiled and vanished, not in a flash of light, more like…she _became_ light, and shot through the window into the distance.

"Huh," Raiki said after a moment. "That was interesting."

"Again, why can't _I_ move that fast?!" Latios complained.

"Or me…Teleporting's neat and all, but that looked pretty damn cool!" Scotty said.

"This should be an interesting engagement. I wonder how Redwing's air force will deal with a being of her caliber," Aaron commented.

"I hope she doesn't hurt herself…" Joy said anxiously.

"She has certainly become more confident in her power and ability to handle things," Nuken commented. "Usually she defaulted to letting Latios or you protect her, my liege."

"Yeah…" Rayquaza fidgeted. "Maybe too confident…has she changed too much? She still has the memories of our Latias, but…when compared to the unfathomable age and power of the Guardian of Light, how much of the Latias we know remains?"

"A very good question," Sabrina said, gazing into the distance. "And one that only the future can answer."

…

Meanwhile, in the Twilight's Edge cemetery…

"Wow, dis stuff's pretty good," Mickey said as he finished slurping up the contents of a glass Bellum had offered him.

"Would you like another?" Bellum asked, proffering another glass made of crystallized ice, the red liquid inside chilled to perfection with a little umbrella in the top and a twisty straw for Mickey to drink it with.

"Yeah, thanks!" Mickey said. "Uh, hey, I don't suppose you could let me down from here, could you? Or at least turn me right-side up? It would make drinking dat easier. And da blood would stop rushing to my head."

"Sorry, but no," Bellum said, glancing over the intricate torture device comprised of ice and steel that Mickey was shackled upside-down to, spread-Pidgeot on his back "I need you like this. That's why there's a straw."

"Well, all right," Mickey said reluctantly. He puckered his lips around the straw and sucked, drinking the liquid.

"There you go. Don't spill a drop, now!" Bellum said, glancing at the glowing runes carved into Mickey's shackles and placed in several spots on the machine. Their luminance brightened ever so slightly, and she smiled and nodded in satisfaction. When Mickey had finished the glass, she carelessly tossed it away, vaporizing it into hydrogen and oxygen particles before it even hit the floor. "Are you comfortable?"

"Yeah, more dan I thought I would be, what wid being hung upside-down and having manacles clamped around my wrists and ankles and tail and neck and spikes and odder radder sharp implements poking me," Mickey said. "It's kinda chilly, though. Think you could turn up da thermostat?"

Bellum raised an eyebrow and glanced around the cold tomb, at the frost-covered walls and floors and the sarcophagi encased in blocks of ice and the frozen bones littering the floor. "I don't think that's really an option, my dear. My ancestors never installed central heating in their crypt. We've always preferred the cold."

"Oh. Well, I guess I can see dat, what with you being Ice-types and all," Mickey said. "You know, you're a lot nicer dan I thought. When you stole me from my friends and stuck me in this machine and said you were gonna turn me into a demon, I thought it was gonna be horribly agonizing. Instead, all you've done is give me some really nice soft drinks and helped stretch my back. Thanks!"

"No problem. Would you like another drink?" Bellum asked, offering another glass.

"Yeah, sure. Too many more, dough, and I'm gonna need to go to da little Meowth's room!" He greedily slurped up the drink, not even leaving a single drop behind. "Mmm, dis stuff's really good. What's in it, anyway?"

"Up in the northern mountains, nestled in a valley completely untouched from the harsh elements by some freak chance of nature, is a village of Pokemon that has never known conflict. They have never lifted a claw against each other or anyone else, live their lives in peace and harmony and love with their neighbors, and do not even have a word for 'kill' or 'harm' or 'war' in their language," Bellum said.

"Ah, and dey spend deir lives in da pursuit of peace and used deir wisdom and oneness with da universe to make dis excellent soft drink, which you're able to get in return for some kinda magical favor?" Mickey guessed.

"No," said Bellum. "I froze their village in an eternal winter, captured and enslaved all its citizens, and tortured them to death over decades of agonizing labor and magical experimentation. To ensure that I efficiently got every last bit of use out of them, when they finally, painfully, died, I ground up their corpses and liquefied them to create a distillation of fear and sorrow and suffering and shattered innocence. You are drinking their tears, their blood, their broken dreams. You have consumed the last remnants of a people who never sought to hurt anyone else, and that I slaughtered to the last so that I could become more powerful. What do you think of that?"

Mickey's eyes bulged in horror, and he started to spit up his last drink, but Bellum quickly froze his mouth to make sure none of the liquid escaped his stomach. When he had stopped convulsing in horror and disgust and she had judged his gag reflex had gone down, she removed the ice from his face. "You were saying?"

"You-you monster! How could you do something like dat?!" Mickey cried.

Bellum smirked. "You're the one who consumed what was left of them. What does that make you, my friend?"

"Wh-why did you even make me drink dat stuff?!" Mickey demanded, feeling very sick. And it wasn't just because he was upside-down or feeling nauseous from learning the truth about what Bellum had been feeding him, either…

Bellum chuckled. "By taking the pleasure in the suffering of such helpless innocents, you have tainted your soul with more sin. Now your transformation into a demon will be sped up considerably! Do you see? It is already beginning."

The runes on the machine started glowing, and Mickey screamed in agony, his body convulsing as a new nightmare was visited upon him. His flesh crawled and his muscles inflated, bulking up his right arm and causing the paw at the end to turn into a monstrous claw, while his left arm remained scrawny and frail, with the digits on that paw sprouting eyeballs. Bone spikes tore out of his skin at the knees, elbows, ribs, and spine. His hair stiffened and changed color, turning into thousands of razor-sharp gray and black needles. His tail swelled up and burst as segmented armor plates formed around the bones, turning it into a spiky flail ending in a barbed knot. His left shoulder bulged outward, pushing his head to the side as a second mouth filled with jagged teeth split open and a prehensile tongue ending in a second, smaller mouth rolled out of it. Half of his original mouth melded shut and one of his eyes enlarged and turned a baleful red, crowding the other one out and pushing it down until it looked like he had a permanent squint and sneer. His whiskers writhed and turned into tendrils ending in eyes or small mouths much like his second tongue. His ears hardened, curled, and turned into thick horns. His charm flipped over, cracked, turned black, and formed glowing evil red runes on its surface. "_Nooooo! NOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"_ Mickey screamed in horror, his voice resonating due to all the throats it was echoing out of.

Bellum cackled malevolently. "Excellent! The demonic energies within you are stronger than I had thought…but I sense still greater power lying dormant, held back by what is left of your mortal soul and imbecilic 'innocence.' It shouldn't take much more to get rid of that, however, and make you into a demonic abomination I can use to fill out my coven now that my daughter has escaped. Plus, you'll be able to handle all the nasty chores I always made her do."

Mickey goggled at her with all his eyes. "You turned me into dis to do your _chores?!_"

Bellum shrugged. "Among other things. Somebody has to take care of the menial jobs, after all. Now…" She held out another glass of liquefied villager. "Drink up! This final dose will complete your transformation and turn you into a demon forever!"

"Nooooooo!" Mickey wailed desperately, struggling desperately at his bonds. Not even his newfound demonic strength was enough to free him from Bellum's enchanted device, however, and he could do nothing but watch helplessly as she brought the straw closer to one of his mouths…

When the chamber started shaking, and dirt and ice shards fell from the ceiling. Bellum frowned. "What is-"

The hardened earth on the far side of the chamber erupted as something smashed through from underneath, clawing its way into the cold air of the tomb. The something was a giant robot Typhlosion with a big red R emblazoned on the chest. Bellum gawked in disbelief. "What…what is this?! Some trickery of Tarantulas?!"

"No," Mickey cried, tears streaming from his many eyes and melting the floor. "It's my friends! Dey came for me!"

There was a hiss and the Typhlosion's chest slid open, letting out steam. Several figures could be seen silhouetted in the cloud. "Listen, is that a voice I hear?" one said.

"It's speaking to me loud and clear!" said another.

"On the wind!" said the first voice.

"Past the stars!" said the second.

"In your ear!" Mickey added, much to Bellum's confusion.

The steam cleared, revealing Jessie, James, Gardenia, Wabbaku, Buzz, and Chimecho. "Bringing chaos at a breakneck pace…" said Jessie.

"Dashing hope, putting fear in its place!" James added.

"A rose by any other name is just as sweet," said Jessie.

"When everything's worse, our work is complete!" James said.

"Jessie!" Jessie cried.

"And it's James!" James cried.

"And Mickey, now dat's a name!" Mickey said, perplexing Bellum again.

"Putting the do-gooders in their place…" Jessie said.

"We're Team Rocket!" James announced.

"In your face!" Jessie, James, and Mickey all shouted.

"Wobbuffet!" Wabbaku yelled.

"…Seriously, why do you keep doing that?" Gardenia asked.

"I have no idea…" Wabbaku admitted.

Bellum snarled. "You fools are still alive?!"

"That's right!" Jessie said triumphantly. "And we're here to…GAH! What is that?!"

"Oh no! Mickey, is that you?!" James wailed.

"Jimmy, save me!" Mickey cried.

"He's become a horrible monster! Wabbaku, are we too late?" Gardenia asked.

Wabbaku frowned. "No, but we've arrived just in time. His transformation is not yet complete. If we can rescue him from that witch, I can apply wards to freeze his mutation long enough for us to get the rest of the ingredients to the antidote!"

"Chiiii!" Chimecho chimed.

Bellum floated in front of Mickey. "You came here thinking you could steal my prize from me? Such arrogance. When I'm through with you, I'll feed what is left of you to my demon pet and add your bones to all the others entombed in this icy crypt!" She swept an arm through the air, sending dozens of Ice Shards flying towards the Rockets.

"Not so fast!" James pressed a button, and the robot Typhlosion's mouth opened and released a tremendous blast of fire, reducing the shards to water vapor in seconds.

Bellum recoiled. "What?!"

"Ha, you didn't think we'd come here without being prepared for your ice magic this time, would we?" Jessie bragged.

"We've ice-proofed this robot! Your power has no effect on it!" James boasted.

"Is that so?" Bellum waved another hand, sending a Blizzard roaring across the room towards the robot. The Rockets yelped and quickly closed the Typhlosion's chest up, but were unable to keep the robot from being frozen in a solid block of ice. Bellum smirked. "Hmmph. Ice-proof, my-" There was a tremendous explosion as the vents on the Typhlosion's neck and shoulders opened up and released fire plumes that shattered the ice and caused Bellum to recoil. "Gah!"

The mecha's mouth opened again and unleashed a tremendous stream of fire at Bellum. Dazed by the initial heat wave, she was unable to protect herself from the flames and was smashed into the wall, which turned black and fused into glass from the blast's ridiculously high temperature, melting most of the ice in the room in the process.

"Wow! Way to go, guys!" Mickey congratulated.

"It's not over yet," Wabbaku warned. "She'll recover from that any moment now and take her anger out on us!"

"Which is why we don't intend to stick around," Jessie said, pushing a button on the robot's control panel. The Typhlosion's arm launched out like a rocket, trailing a cable behind it. The metal hand closed around Mickey's chest and pulled, the cable winching back into the robot's body and trying to take the mutated Meowth with it.

However, the restraints holding him to the torture device were stronger than they'd thought, and both the cable and the machine were starting to creak ominously as they pulled harder and harder at it. "Come on, come on, hurry up and get him out of there, she's getting back up!" James said anxiously, glancing at Bellum, who was stirring in her glassy crater. One of her eyes opened.

"We're pulling as hard as we can," Gardenia said, looking worriedly at the flashing lights and gauges on the control panel. "Either we give, or that thing does!"

As it turned out, neither of them did. The wall the machine was attached to broke first, crumbling and caving in on itself as the cable tore Mickey and the torture device out of it and dragged demon and mechanism over to them. "Okay, not what I expected to happen, but we can work with this," Jessie said.

"Ow, ow, ow, dat really hurt!" Mickey moaned.

"FOOLS!" Cold winds blasted out of the crater, and the room was covered in frost once more as an enraged Bellum pulled herself out and floated towards them, ice crystals dancing around her form. "Did you really think your ridiculous contraption could defeat one such as I? I am the mistress of the winter winds! No flame can melt me!"

"Maybe so, but we never intended it to beat you," Jessie said with a grin.

Bellum blinked. "What?"

"You see," James said, pushing a button. "If there's one thing Team Rocket knows how to do better than digging holes…it's blasting off!"

The Typhlosion's eyes flashed, and 3s appeared in them. "AHHH! WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?!" Mickey cried in alarm, instantly figuring out their plan.

"No…you wouldn't!" Bellum shouted in disbelief as the 3s turned into 2s.

"Oh, wouldn't we?" Jessie laughed as the 2s became 1s.

"This'll teach you not to mess with my boyfriend!" James shouted.

"NO!" Bellum cried as the 1s became 0s. And then…

The Typhlosion exploded, destroying the Yukihime family tomb in a torrent of flames.

…

Meanwhile, somewhere _else_ in Dusk Forest…

"Mein minions!" Jurgen the vampire shouted, raising his arms into the air and thrusting his chest out. "Creatures of ze night! Velcome to mein dance party!"

The thousands of zombie Pokemon assembled below him roared and shouted and moaned and groaned and fell apart. They were standing at the base of Jurgen's lair, an old abandoned castle out in the middle of the forest. (There were tons of the places in Dusk Forest, as you would expect. They were favorite hangouts for young Ghosts looking to make a name for themselves in fear. Plus, they made good tourist traps, in every meaning of the term.) Their master from another world stood on a balcony overlooking them, flanked by a pair of zombie Garchomp bodyguards. Banners with his face on them hung from the sides of the balcony and from the castle walls, and his face shone in the light of the colored spotlights swiveling back and forth and the spinning disco ball floating over his head. "Zis night is ours!" Jurgen bellowed, causing the zombies to cheer again. "Ve shall leave zis forest und spread out across ze land, bringing darkness viz us vherever ve go und consuming ze blood and brains of ze mortal veaklings who infest zis vorld! Ve shall boogie our vay to victory, and usher in a rave zat shall never end!" He struck a stylish (in his mind, anyway) pose. "Let's party, baby!"

"Party's over, Jurgen!" The large double doors behind him burst open as a few burly zombie guards, ichor oozing from the holes in their perforated skulls, were flung into them from the other side, falling to the ground at Jurgen's feet.

Jurgen bristled in rage. "Vhat is zis?!"

Sam and Max strode through the doors, casually firing a few bullets into the groaning guards littering the floor to make sure they were dead. (Again.) "Sam and Max, Freelance Police!" Sam said, flashing his badge.

"You have the right to scream like a little girl as we extract those sissy fangs of yours with pliers!" Max said eagerly, brandishing some very unhygienic pliers.

Jurgen snarled. "Sam und Max…I should have known! You fools have interfered in mein plans for ze last time…get zem!" The zombie dragons advanced, slavering furiously.

"Can I shoot them, Sam?" Max asked hopefully.

Sam shook his head. "That won't be necessary, little buddy…not so long as we have…" He whipped out a familiar-looking weapon. "The Boscotech Stakeinator!"

Jurgen laughed. "Zat zing?! Vat good vill zat do?"

"More than you'd expect!" He pointed the gun at Jurgen and fired. The vampire teleported out of the way, causing a hundred thick, juicy slabs of meat to smack into the balcony railing and fall to the ground, a few sliding out into the bony claws of the starving horde below. "Ha! You missed!" Jurgen Murkrowed, reappearing nearby.

"No I didn't," Sam said, pointing at the pile of steaks. The zombie Garchomps had forgotten their orders and were now eagerly feasting on the meat Sam had generously provided them with.

Jurgen scowled. "Ugh, stupid zombies…alvays zinking viz zeir stomachs! Fine, I vill take care of you myself!" He got into a martial arts stance.

"Oh, it's not _us_ you'll be fighting," Sam said.

"Yeah, we know we can't beat you ourselves…unfortunately," Max said.

Jurgen frowned. "Huh? But zen who-"

"TAIYOOOOHHHHHH!"

A golden beam of light shot down from the sky. Jurgen barely managed to teleport out of the way in time. "V-vhat? Sunlight?! HERE?! Zat is impossible?!" he cried in disbelief, staring at the shining ray.

"It is when I am here," a Sunflora with a very large nose said, levitating down beside the beam. "I am Master Otaku, Messenger of the Sun! And this…" He pointed at a figure descending through the beam. The light gleamed off his shining armor, and his scarf fluttered in the wind as his blazing jetpack lowered him to the ground. "This is Jango, the Solar Hunter and slayer of vampires! Tremble in fear, dark one, for your end has come!"

Jurgen's eyes widened in horror as Jango landed and stepped out of the beam, brushing his scarf behind him, steely-eyed expression hidden behind the impassive black T-shaped visor of his helmet. The light gleaming off his gold and red armor was so bright, it made the vampire's eyes hurt, and not just because solar energy was his weakness. "No…NO! Not you! Not HERE! _Vat are you doing here?!_"

"We are always ready to kill vampires, no matter what distant world they haunt! We will rid every land of your kind's undead taint!" Otaku cried as Jango drew his Blaster del Sol and pointed it at Jurgen. "He is Jango! The Sun Is In His Hand!"

"Bokura no Taiyo!" Max shouted. "That means 'Our Sun,'" he explained when Sam gave him a questioning look.

"I didn't know you knew Japanese, little buddy," Sam said.

"I know what now?" Max asked blankly.

Sam decided not to press the point. "In any event, this should be an interesting fight."

"And fun, too!" Max agreed. "I hope he screams a lot."

"Me too, little buddy. Me too," Sam said as Jurgen and Jango faced off.

And so vampire and vampire hunter began their timeless battle, a clash the likes of which the world had never seen before…and neither will you readers. Sorry!

…

Meanwhile, in Almiore…

The P1 Grand Prix was drawing to a close.

The drivers who had managed to get their cars in working order after the disastrous crash following the mountainside descent were racing frantically towards the finish line, jostling each other and firing weapons and attacks and other novelty items at each other as they all tried to take the lead in the winding desert track leading to their destination.

Yes, that's right, the _desert_ track. If the producers could get a mountain into the middle of a jungle, why not a desert, too?

"Gary, they're gaining on usss!" Evan hissed, glancing back down the road at the other cars furiously catching up on them. "Can't thisss thing go any fassster?!"

"I've already got the pedal to the metal!" Gary said. "It doesn't go much faster than this!"

Team Nightshade had miraculously managed to take fifth place and get a significant head start over their fellow racers by lieu of being the only car still standing on all four wheels after the crash and because Gary had phased through the other cars while they were still being fixed to steal key parts he hoped would delay their repairs. Some might call it cheating, but this was the kind of race where anything went, so long as nothing too illicit was caught on camera. How else could Rick Recreant have not been disqualified years ago for his flagrant and dirty attempts to get ahead of the game?

Unfortunately, it all seemed to be for naught, and now the other racers were almost upon the Mach 6, which was still far behind Rick and the other three racers leading the pack. "Damn…at thisss rate they're going to overtake usss!" Evan hissed anxiously.

"Wait, all isn't lost yet…there's an item box!" Gary said, pointing to a floating crystalline box hovering a few inches above the road just ahead.

"Hit it, hit it!" Evan hissed eagerly.

Gary did, smashing into it and downloading the item data inside. The duo eagerly leaned towards a screen on the dashboard to see what they had won. Much to their delight, the image of a blue spiky winged Squirtle shell appeared on the display. "Oh, wow! That'sss one of the mossst powerful itemsss in the raccce! Ssstrong enough to knock out any car with one blow!" Evan hissed in delight.

Gary frowned. "Yeah…just one problem! While it has homing capability, it can only fire forwards, and since Rick and the other three are still too far ahead of us, we'd have to wait until one of the other cars passed us to use it, and then we'd still have the rest of them to deal with. I'm not sure how this can save us…" He paused as they passed a large rocky outcropping. He got a brainstorm. "Unless…"

With a spin of the wheel and a screeching of tires (and Evan), Gary whirled the car around so that it faced back down the road, the way they had come. Then he shifted into reverse and backed up as fast as he could, recklessly driving backwards. "What do you think you're doing?!" Evan wailed, trying not to throw up all over the dashboard again.

"Winning!" Gary said, pulling up the targeting menu for their new spiky shell weapon. He pointed the targeting reticule at the Change-O-Mobile, first of the many cars driving up after them…then moved it so that it was pointing at the outcropping they had just gone by instead. "Fire!"

A compartment slid open on the back of the car and a fearsome mechanism rose up. It sighted over Gary and Evan's heads, aimed at the outcropping, and launched the shell. It flew through the air like only a large turtle shell with spikes and wings could, smashing into the rock formation with an incredible explosion that sent boulders tumbling down the slope, crashing down in a large stony pile that engulfed the road below it completely, blocking the track. "Yes!" the Gengar cheered.

"Niccce job!" Evan hissed. "That ssshould hold them for a little-"

That's when the other cars drove _around_ the rock barricade and kept coming down the road towards them. Gary sweatdropped. "I did not think that through well enough."

"They're gonna passs usss! They're gonna passs usss!" Evan wailed. "And possibly hurt usss for sssabotaging their carsss!"

"Dammit…there must be _something _we can do…" Gary's mind raced. "Maybe we could move faster if we lost some of our dead weight."

Evan had a sudden terrifying thought of being thrown out of the car and being left to the Mightyenas. "Dead weight. Right! On it!" He opened the glove compartment and threw out all the manuals, gloves, spare clothes, receipts, coupons, sunglasses, phone numbers, and other junk that always accumulates in glove compartments over time. It scattered on the ground behind them and crunched under the tires of the cars catching up on them.

Gary glanced at the speedometer. It had only moved a fraction. "Not good enough. We need to go faster!"

Evan pressed the button to open the trunk, dumping the spare tire, jumpers, and a Mime Jr. and Mankey that had been hiding in there the whole time. "Faster!" Gary shouted as tires squealed behind them, the other cars frantically trying to swerve out of the way of the debris and children.

Evan threw out the back seat. "Faster!" Gary yelled as the seats were sliced in two by buzzsaws deployed by Rudy and Bigtooth.

Evan unbuckled his and Gary's seatbelts and threw out both front seats. "Faster!" Gary cried as Pattie Penda vaporized the chairs with laser beams.

Evan threw off the car's entire chassis. Don't ask how, Evan wasn't sure either, he was just so desperate that he found the strength to do it. "Faster!" Gary howled as the metal frame smashed into the Volbeat Mob's sedan, causing it to crash yet again and for Al to swear yet another vendetta against Team Nightshade.

Evan threw out the engine, which the Sledge Brothers bashed away with their hammers. "…Oopsss," he said, several seconds too late, as he realized what he had just done.

"EVAN! YOU IDIOT!" Gary roared as what was left of their vehicle kept rolling a little ways forward and came to a stop.

The other cars sped past them, covering them in a cloud of dust and exhaust. "Ha! Nice one, morons!" Luca taunted, as Blabber wept…joyfully, for a change.

"Treating a car like that, you're never going to race again!" Rudy laughed.

"If there were such a number as negative googolly, that would be just a _fraction_ of how low your intellect is!" Pattie cried pejoratively.

"Uggaugg! You two morons!" the Sledge Brothers laughed, whacking each other on the heads as they drove past.

Gary and Evan coughed and coughed as their rivals sped off into the distance. "Well," Evan gasped. "That sssucked."

Gary punched him. "_You_ suck."

"Hey, do either a you mugs got a jack or two to spare?" Donny cried from behind them.

"Da boss said he might forgive you if you helped fix our car!" said Kirby. Gary and Evan glanced at each other, getting an idea.

Several miles ahead of Team Nightshade, the top three cars were fighting for the position of number one as Rick Recreant steadily crept up from behind, looking for a chance to strike. "Once I see the right opportunity, Chumley, we'll strike, knock those three fools ahead of us out of the way, and win the race!" Rick chortled.

"Can't we just settle for finishing in fourth?" Chumley asked.

"Eh, we'll see," Rick grunted.

Ahead of them, Sergeant Buster and Private Mildley were exchanging fire with the Creepy Couple, the former shooting shells and lasers from the turret of their tank/jeep/steamroller hybrid with the latter flinging Ghost-type attacks and fireballs from their haunted-house-shaped vehicle. "Faster, Mildley, faster!" Sergeant Buster, a Blastoise, bellowed as he reloaded the turret for another salvo. "We can't let those spooks take second place!"

"Y-y-y-yes s-s-s-sir," the cowardly Private Mildley, a very timid Sentret, stammered as he tried to concentrate on driving and not running into any of the explosions blowing up chunks of the road ahead of him. _Oh, w-w-why did I j-j-join the A-a-army? M-m-mother was r-r-right, I sh-should have b-b-been a d-d-d-dancer inst-st-stead!_

"Excellent vork, darlink, zose fools vill never pass us at zis rate!" Little Creepy, a Gliscor, said to her husband Big Creepy, a rather large ghoulish Dusknoir. Big Creepy grunted and kept flinging Shadow Balls and the like to intercept Buster's shots.

Ahead of them, ignoring the fighting, was Racer Y in first place. The mysterious masked racer, a Miltank, thought to herself that the race was not going quite the way she would have liked. True, she was winning, but she had looked forward to challenging her longtime rival Ace Racer in the Mach 6, not those Team Nightshade clowns. This was not just because Ace forced her to be at the top of her game whenever they raced against each other, but also because she was secretly his long-lost sister, and had intended to reveal this to him after today's race. _It's too bad I couldn't challenge my longtime rival Ace Racer in this race instead of those Team Nightshade clowns. Ace not only forces me to be at the top of my game in whatever race we're competing in, but I am also secretly his long-lost sister, which I intended to reveal to him after this race,_ she thought, making the previous summation completely redundant. _I hope he's all right. If only he hadn't suffered those horrible life-threatening injuries that forced him to be removed from the race! Maybe when this is over, I should go to the hospital and tell him-_  
Her mental monologue was interrupted when an enormous Hippowdon fell out of the sky and landed on top of her car, crushing her. (Not fatally, though, they managed to get her to the hospital just in time. She was put in the same room as Ace Racer, giving her a chance to reveal her true identity to him, leading to a tearful reunion and a happy ending to this completely inconsequential plot thread you'll never hear about again.)

Little Creepy screamed and hit the brakes, but was too late to stop her car from crashing into the side of the Hippowdon, crumpling the front and smashing her face into an airbag as her husband was catapulted off the top and flung into the air, where he smashed into a bowl of petunias that had been falling from the sky just behind the Hippowdon. The petunias' last thoughts before it was shattered by the Dusknoir were "Oh no, not again." If it could be understood why it thought that, we would understand a lot more about the Omniverse than we do now.

The Hippowdon blinked dully and stared at the car that had crashed into it, its nervous system working so slowly it hadn't yet realized that it was in (slight) pain. Said pain was compounded when Mildley, who had a phobia about Hippowdon inhaling him through their nostrils, panicked and jumped out of the tank, causing it to crash into what was left of the Creepy's Couple's vehicle and explode, launching the turret—and Sergeant Buster, who was inside--into the stratosphere, narrowly missing a very large twin-rotor helicopter with a big red R painted on the side hovering over the road. "Yikes! That was close," the Primeape piloting the helicopter said. "Nice going Cassidy, we dropped our cargo right in the middle of a race!"

"Hey, it's not my fault the claw slipped, if you hadn't swerved so suddenly I wouldn't have lost my grip on it!" a Houndoom with odd ponytails sitting next to him snapped.

"What was I supposed to do, let us get hit by the cannon fire down there? What kind of wacky race is this, anyway? Geez!" Butch, the Primeape complained.

Cassidy sighed. "Just grab that fat bastard down there so we can get out of here before we get in trouble! I don't want to go to prison…or worse, get sued!"

"Fat bitch," Butch said.

Cassidy stiffened. "_What_ did you just say to me?!" she growled, eyes glowing red.

"The Hippowdon's a female. Males are light brown and that one's black, which makes her a fat bitch," Butch explained. He frowned in thought. "Actually, now that I think about it, I should be calling her a fat cow, since female Hippowdon are called cows, like Miltanks, which is funny because they don't _look_ much like Miltanks other than being big and heavy. Speaking of which, wasn't that a Miltank we dropped our cargo on?"

Cassidy gave him an exasperated look. "Who the hell cares?! Let's just grab her and GO already! Geez! This is the last Pokemon Doctor Nancy wanted, which means we can finally head back to Kanjohenn!"

A light started flashing on the control panel. "Oh, we're getting a call," Butch said, pressing a button.

A screen lit up, showing the irate face of Doctor Namba. "It's NAMBA!" the Electabuzz bellowed at them. The screen switched off.

The Rockets blinked. "How does he always know?" Cassidy wondered.

"Eerie, isn't it?" Butch agreed. "Come on, let's get that hippo so we can go home."

A large claw on a metal cable lowered from the underside of the helicopter and grabbed the Hippowdon around the middle. With some effort, the cable was winched back inside the chopper, lifting the bemused Heavyweight Pokemon off the ground. They flew off, leaving the three wrecked cars behind. Rick Recreant and Chumley, who had watched the whole thing in disbelief with open mouths, slowly turned to look at each other. "Did you just see a Hippowdon fall from the sky then fly away?" Rick asked after a moment.

"Did you see a bowl of petunias too, or was that just me?" Chumley asked.

Rick shuddered. "That was too wacky, even for _this_ race! But it does mean one thing."

"What's that?" Chumley asked.

"We're in first place!" Rick cried. Cackling gleefully, the duo sped off past the three wrecks towards the finish line off in the distance.

The crowd seated at the finish line, which was located just past the boundary separating jungle from desert on the jungle side, alternately stared at the giant TV screens showing everything going on in the race or looked down the road at the swiftly-approaching cars, cheering excitedly as the commentator, er, commented on everything. "And by some freakish miracle—where the heck did those petunias come from, anyway?—Rick and Chumley are in the lead, with fan-favorites Racer Y, the Creepy Couple, and Buster and Mildley out of the race! With Lazy Luca and Blabber Bear, Professor Pattie Penda and Beakley, Rudy Roughcut and Bigtooth, and Boulder and Mulch Sledge too far behind, it looks like there's nothing to stop Rick and Chumley from winning the race…

"But wait! What's this? Radar's picked up another car advancing up the line, gaining ground on the other racers, coming from out of nowhere to make a grab for the lead! It's…it's…" Everyone watched raptly as the giant display switched from showing the inbound racers to focusing on another vehicle approaching at incredible speeds, overtaking the startled Sledge Brothers, who had been in last place, and leaving them coughing on their dust. The audience and commentator gasped when they got a good look at the vehicle. "Is that…no…it can't be! But it is! It's…THE VOLBEAT MOB! They've managed to repair their sedan and are now back in the race!"

"Yeah! You can't keep a good bug down!" Al whooped.

"We can still win dis!" Donny said enthusiastically.

"Duh, it sure was nice of dose guys to give us some spare parts to fix the car," Ding-a-dong said stupidly.

Several miles back down the road, Gary and Evan sat beside the road in the middle of a pile of scrap and tires and car parts, staring blankly at the track. "Well," Evan said after a moment. "At leassst they didn't kill usss."

"Shut up, Evan," Gary said with a sigh.

"Noooo! My baby!" Torque sobbed, bursting into tears when he saw several pieces easily recognizable as coming from the Mach 6 adorning the repaired Mob sedan. "How could they?! HOW COULD THEY-HEY-HEEEEEEEYYYYYYY?!"

"This is incredible, folks!" the commentator cried as the Volbeat Mob sped past Rudy and Bigtooth and Professor Pattie. "I've never seen a comeback like this in all my years as commentator! This is nothing short of a racing miracle…too bad it doesn't mean anything because Rick Recreant crossed the finish line five seconds ago."

The crowd gasped. Al's eyes bulged out of his head. "WHAT?!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" the other racers (and quite a few viewers) shouted.

Rick and Chumley were out of their car, now on the other side of the finish line, dancing about giddily as ticker tape and confetti fell down all around them. "We did it! We did it! We did it!" Rick sang joyfully.

"I don't believe it! After all these years…after _all these years…_we've done it! We've finally won!" Chumley yelled, weeping with joy.

"It had to happen sooner or later, old boy! We were bound to win eventually! And that eventually…was today!" Rick cried.

"THIS IS THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE!" Chumley shouted.

"ME TOO!" Rick shouted back.

"I LOVE YOU, MON!" Chumley howled.

"I LOVE YOU TOO! YOU'RE THE BEST SIDEKICK A GUY COULD HAVE!" Rick and Chumley hugged each other. Their surprisingly large fanbase cheered.

"In what must be one of the most controversial turnarounds in racing history, Rick Recreant and Chumley have won the P1 Grand Prix, ladies and gentlemon! Never thought you'd hear me saying those words, did you now?" the commentator said as the sullen losers (yes, there was a second and third place, but a case could be made saying that _anyone_ who didn't make first place was a loser) crossed the finish line. "And as the winners, it's time to give them their prize…5 billion Poke' and the coveted Prix Cup!" The crowd applauded (the ones that weren't screaming and cursing and tearing up betting stubs, anyway), and Rick and Chumley hopped up and down excitedly. "This is a day that will go down in racing history as…huh? What's this? You're kidding me! Racing fans, something terrible has happened! THE PRIX CUP HAS BEEN STOLEN!"

Everyone gasped in horror. "What?!" Rick cried. "You've got to be kidding me!"

"That just figures…" Chumley moaned. "The one time we win for a change, the prize has been stolen! We just can't break even, can we? I bet the money's gone too, isn't it?"

"Surprisingly no, the money's still here," the commentator said.  
Chumley's ears perked up at that. "Really? Huh. Well, that's something."

"Who would steal a trophy but not the cash?" Rick wondered. "I would have taken both! Er, if it were me. Which it clearly isn't, since I was racing the whole time with you lot! Besides, I just won the prize fair and square, why would I have stolen it?" he pointed out when the other racers started looking at him suspiciously.

"He's right, he wasn't responsible. We've just managed to get security footage of the Pokemon responsible," the commentator said. The big screen brought up a still black-and-white image of a Medicham and a Togetic racing down a hallway, carrying a magnificent cup with an oddly-shaped glass shard affixed to the front between them. "Has anyone seen these Pokemon?"

Torque stiffened, his eyes widening in horror. "No…" He whispered. "No! NO! THOSE BITCHES! _THEY USED ME! THEY USED ME AND TRASHED MY CAR! __**I'M GONNA KILL THEM! I'M! GONNA! KIIIILLLLLL! THEEEEEEMMMMM!"**_

Out in the desert, Gary and Evan shuddered. "I feel like someone just walked over my grave," Gary commented.

"You don't have a grave," Evan pointed out.

"How do you know that? We don't know what happened to my original human body," Gary said.

"You died at leassst a thousssand yearsss ago, even if it were buried sssomewhere, I doubt there would be anything left of it by now," Evan said.

"Maybe I got buried in a tomb or a pyramid, like those Pokegyptian guys," Gary said.

"What would you be doing in one of thossse?" Evan asked skeptically.

"Hey, I coulda been a king in my past life," Gary said. "None of us really knows much about who I used to be, except that I had a Gardevoir and pissed off Krysta. And that I was apparently a jerk."

"Do you ever wonder about that? Your passst life?" Evan asked. "I know Asssh does."

"Eh." Gary shrugged. "From everything I've learned about myself, I wasn't a good person. I don't really want to know who the old me is. He's like somebody completely different from who I am now, a total stranger. I much prefer the me I am now, scoundrel and devilishly lovable rogue that I am."

Mary and Maren ran up to them, huffing and puffing and carrying the Prix Cup. "There you are," Maren gasped.

"Come on, we have to get to the boat before they can catch up to us!" Mary said urgently.

Gary and Evan got up in alarm. "What the…where did you two get that?!" Gary asked.

"Did you sssteal it?!" Evan asked in surprise.

"Well, duh," Mary said with a roll of the eyes. "We didn't think you were going to win the race, so swiped the cup while everyone was busy watching your antics."

"You didn't think we'd win?!" Gary cried, hurt. "Didn't you have any faith in me?"

"No," Mary said bluntly. Gary's shoulders sagged.

"Darn…I wasss actually hoping we could do thisss the legit way for a change," Evan hissed with a disappointed sigh. "And I wasss having ssso much fun, too…oh well."

"We need to go now," Mary said. "It won't be long before they start coming after us in those fast cars of theirs. I had Maren anchor the boat not too far from here so we could make a speedy escape."

"…You really didn't expect me to win, did you?" Gary asked sullenly. "From the very start, you thought I'd fail."

"Yes," Mary said.

"But…why?!" Gary demanded.

"Because you were an inexperienced driver put behind the wheel of a vehicle he only had a rudimentary knowledge of how to operate racing against some of the most experienced drivers in the world in an incredibly complex and dangerous sport he's never participated in before," Mary explained calmly. "It was only logical."

"Well…yeah, but…miracles can happen…" Gary said quietly.

"Not to usss, they don't," Evan grumbled. "Come on, Gary. Let'sss go."

"…You could have at least _told_ me you were gonna pull this ahead of time…" Gary muttered unhappily as they started walking off.

"I didn't want to worry you," Mary said.

"I'm team leader, Mary…" Gary said. "It's my job to worry."

_I've crossed the line,_ Maren thought to herself as a miserable Gary bickered with Mary for going over his head and effectively putting no trust in her leader and teammate. _There's no justifying what I've done now. I haven't just stood by as they've committed crimes, now I'm _participating _in them. It doesn't matter if I did it for Mirage Kingdom, it doesn't matter if I did it for Princess Sara, its still a crime. I am a thief. I am a thief working alongside other thieves and rather amoral mercenaries who don't care how many lives they destroy so long as they get the job done. Well, okay, that's not entirely true…they took Gooey's death pretty hard…but it's because of how irresponsibly they treated him that he died in the first place, and they don't seem to even realize how much collateral damage they've caused along the way. By accepting the Mayor of Chicole Village's bribe, thousands of tourists will continue to be fleeced by their Hissssa scam every year. Thanks to our actions here today, we've made a mockery of an incredibly popular sporting event, doing Arceus knows how much personal, property, and vehicular damage, and probably ruined poor Torque's life and reputation by his association with us. Do they realize that? Do they know what they've done to him? Do they even care?_

_Do they know what they've done to _me?

…

And that ends that arc! Well, sort of. Interlude coming up to tie up the remaining subplot threads brought up this chapter. Tune in next time to watch Latias tackling Redwing's air force, find out if Team Rocket was able to save Mickey, see what the fallout of the P1 Grand Prix on everyone involved is, discover what the Nihilators and their prisoners are up to, look on as Misty continues her voyage into the unknown, and much more!

Additionally, a niggling little worry for me is that I might be turning Latias into a bit of a Mary Sue due to her becoming what she is. Do you agree with this, and if so, how can I go about fixing it?


	37. Whatever happened to whatshername? pt 4

After all the action in the last chapter, things in this one should be much more laid-back. Well, a _little _more laid-back, anyway.

That doesn't mean some very interesting developments aren't in the works, however, as you learn the fates of some of your favorite characters that you haven't read about in a while. That should be enjoyable, don't you think? And next chapter, the new arc begins, which should be even more exciting than the last one! Because it has pirates. And pirates are _awesome_. Even more awesome when they fight ninjas (at least one ninja, anyway).

Not to mention one of the coolest characters yet is joining the team…but I digress, that's next chapter. So what's in store this chapter? Just see for yourself!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

Doctor Tarantulas, Chobin, and Paul sat on the floor, staring in annoyance at the Buneary ninja, whom was still suspended in the same heavy-duty restraints she had been locked into the last time we saw her. She was a complete wreck; bruises and grotesque scars covered most of her body, there were numerous sores and ugly blotches of color growing in places where large clumps of fur had fallen out, blood and pus were still slowly oozing from the latest wounds they had inflicted on her, most of her bones had probably been broken and reset several times, her red eyes were dull from lack of sleep and the constant pain that had wracked her form nonstop since they had started torturing her, and there were quite a lot of worrisome stitches making a patchwork of her body. The villains frowned at her, deep in thought.

"Vell," Tarantulas said with a sigh. "Zis vas fun at first, but now it's just gotten tedious and exasperating. I'm out of ideas. Vhat about you guys?"

"Oh, maybe we could-" Chobin started.

"Tried that," Paul grunted.

Chobin frowned. "Well, what if we-"

"That too," Paul said.

Chobin blinked, nonplussed. "Okay, but, perhaps-"

"We did that one several times. Didn't work," Paul said with a sigh.

Chobin frowned. "You cannot be meaning to be telling Chobin that we are all outing of the ideas of wholesome funtime torture of smiles and laughter and screaming of agony and lots and lots of buttsex?! How is that being the possibles?!"

"I've used every torture technique I was trained in, Tarantulas has run just about every experiment he could think of, and you raped her at least once an hour and ate a few of her organs and body parts. And one of her eyes," Paul said.

Chobin nodded. "It was being very yummylicious, with the oh-so-tasty squishy eyeball jelly that goes perfectly on Chobin's favorite sandwich with the mustard of doom, lettuce of suffering, tomatoes of tears, and cheese of cheesiness between two slices of plain wheat bread…of DEATH!"

"Stop it, you're making me hungry!" Tarantulas complained.

"We could eat some more of her," Paul suggested.

Tarantulas shook his head. "No, ve've done zat too much already. It didn't vork zen, it von't vork now. Besides, her flesh has been too tainted by poisons and drugs and diseases and everyzing else ve've injected into her to be appealing to anyone but Chobin. It's remarkable, really…vhile her body's been ravaged by everyzing ve've put into her, in ze end it only seems to make her _stronger_, like her immune system is actually adapting to every torture mezzod ve use on her so zat, vhile it still hurts a lot, every time ve try it again it has a much less diminished effect zan it did before, forcing me to use larger and larger doses to get any reaction out of her! I've never seen anyzing like zis before in anyone ozzer zan a Joy…or you, Paul! But she is not immortal. She has Sneasel DNA, but no ozzer foreign genomes in her blood. How can she be so resilient? Vhy has she refused to break despite everyzing ve've done to her?!"

"Because you are going about it the wrong way."

The trio of torturers started and whirled around to see Oblivion's Shadow looming over them. "Ack! Herr Shadow!" Tarantulas cried, quickly saluting.

"Yipe! H-How long were you behind us with the quiet stealthiness of a shadow on a pitch-black night in a lightless cave full of eyeless blind Pokemon who are deaf and cannot be seeing or hearing something even if it is right in their faces sticking its tongue out and waggling its fingers in its ears if it is actually having fingers?" Chobin asked.

_Incredible…even I didn't know he was there. How does he do that?_ Paul wondered. "What do you mean we're going about it the wrong way?"

Tarantulas nodded. "Ja, ve've done just about every vay ve could zink of! Ve injected her viz dozens of incredibly painful poisons and drugs and viruses—many of my own devising, naturally—tried all ze conventional and modern techniques, exploited her pressure points, vhipped her, stretched her out, pulled out her nails, dismembered her, removed her organs, ate parts of her, grafted new parts onto her body, took zem off, regrew ze stolen pieces of her body inside of her, impregnated her, ripped out and fed ze fetus to her, killed her vomb, fixed her vomb, made her hallucinate, gave her nightmares, starved her, made her eat pieces of herself, wreaked havoc on her nervous system, burned her, froze her, fried her, baked her, cooked her, grilled her, melted her, electrified her, petrified her, beat her, drowned her, broke her bones, liqvuefied her bones, removed her bones, regrew her bones, infused zem viz metal, removed ze metal, peeled off all of her skin and sewed it back on, grew mushrooms and crystals on her, lobotomized her, put metal plates in her skull, took zem out and put different brain parts back in, took _zem_ out and put ze originals in zeir place, put out her eyes, removed her eyes, regrew her eyes, mutilated her, changed her gender, changed it back, stopped and restarted her heart several times so she repeatedly crossed ze line between life and death, tortured her Psychically zanks to Miracle Eye, put my spider robots inside of her, um…vhat else…"

"Raped her a lot?" Chobin said happily, fondly reminiscing the dozens of times he had impaled his helpless victim on…um, you don't need to know that. It'll give you nightmares, if the previous paragraph didn't.

"Ja, zat too. So, vhat am I missing?" Tarantulas asked.

Oblivion's Shadow's cloak swished as he glided past them to look at the ninja, his mirror-mask filling with her reflection. She did not raise her head to look at him defiantly, she was too hurt and tired for that, but there was still a sense of rebellion emanating from her, a stubborn resolve that refused to give in no matter what. After a moment, the Shadow turned back to his minions. "You are going about zis ze wrong vay," he said, mirror reflecting Tarantulas. "Mere pain vill not be enough to break her."

"_Mere?!_" Tarantulas cried indignantly. "You call vhat ve did mere?!"

Chobin nodded. "Yes, Chobin has never tortured or raped anyone so hard before! It was lots of happy funtime at first…and still is…but now Chobin is getting the tiredness of sleep. I need a nap, curled up inside the squishy stomach of something I've just killed after gnawing my way into its chest. That is being the only way Chobin can get the sleep of sleepiness and counting of Mareep jumping over the fence and into the meat grinder properly. Otherwise I get good dreams."

"Why not?" Paul asked, ignoring Chobin's rambling.

"Because," the Shadow said, glancing meaningfully at Paul. "She is a ninja."

They stared at him blankly. "Er…so?" Tarantulas asked.

"Chobin is not the getting of the hanging it," Chobin complained. "And Chobin hangs lots of things, and likes to watch as their neck snaps and they twitch and convulse and finally die. Then I waits a few days for them to ripen properly, and cuts them down for the baking of cake! A cake which is a lie for it is not being cake at all, but…_pie!"_

"_I'm_ a ninja, and I'm pretty sure I'd have gone insane days ago if all the things we did to her were done to me, even back when I was still immortal," Paul said. He paused, and then glared at Tarantulas. "Which _isn't_ an invitation to try it on me, just so you know!"

"Ze zhought never crossed my mind," Tarantulas said innocently. Chobin snickered.

"There is a difference between you and her," Oblivion's Shadow told Paul. "She completed her training. You did not."

Paul bristled. "What?! I always outdid her at everything! She could never beat me!"

"She beat you in Mt. Battle and stripped you of your immortality," Oblivion's Shadow said harshly. "And while you were always better at her when you were learning together, you never completed your training. She did."

"I still don't see what that has to do with anything," Paul snapped. "The only reason I didn't finish my training is because I got locked up before I could take the graduation exam. What could possibly have happened to her as a result of finishing the exam that makes her better at withstanding this torture than I could?"

"Everything," Oblivion's Shadow said. "A true ninja does not fear death. They do not view their body as a possession, as something that is theirs, but as a tool and weapon to be used to complete their mission. The only thing that is truly theirs is their spirit, and they are taught to believe that no matter what happens to their body, no matter what trials or torture or suffering that body undergoes, it does not matter so long as their spirit remains intact. They believe their bodies, their very _lives_, to be disposable and ultimately irrelevant. That is why they are such excellent assassins: they do not care what might happen to them as a result of failure, so go into the most dangerous situations without fear, and since they view their own lives as expendable, have few qualms with risking theirs or ending the lives of others, since they see those lives as having the same value, or lack thereof. They try not to kill anyone aside from their target because most of the time those others have little to do with the deeds of whoever they are assigned to kill, therefore it would be morally wrong to involve them or get them hurt in the process of completing the mission. Additionally, it's…how do I put it…sloppy. Unprofessional. Unnecessary."

Paul frowned. "I _know_ all that. I received the same training she did. What's your point?"

"My point," Oblivion's Shadow said. "Is that none of that applies to you. That is the reason she was able to withstand what you cannot."

Paul bristled. "What are you talking about?!"

"You do not see your body as an expendable tool. You do not view your life as disposable. You have no trouble with, and in fact _enjoy_ killing bystanders and causing collateral damage," Oblivion's Shadow explained. "She is able to withstand what you cannot because she does not fear death…like you do."

"I am not afraid of death!" Paul protested.

"Then why did you become immortal?" Oblivion's Shadow asked. "Death is inevitable for a ninja. Immortality holds no allure for one who is not afraid to die. The fact that you chose to break the laws of your people and achieved immortality shows that for you, death—or at least, _your_ death—is something to be avoided. Your rival embraced the philosophy of your people, and because she is not afraid to die, she has become a better ninja than you are. In completing her training, she distanced her mind to an extent from her body and the travails that ravage it, to the point where the suffering you have visited upon her is more an annoyance than true torture. Or rather, it hurts her quite a bit, but she does her best not to let it bother her. She strives to ignore it, other than to make note of how much you have damaged her, so that she may one day return the favor."

"Oooohhh…" Chobin said, impressed.

"Impossible…" Paul hissed, distraught. "How could she have surpassed me?! She can't be that much stronger than I am…"

"So, zat is ze secret of her resistance? Fascinating…" Tarantulas muttered. "But zen vhy has her body vizstood so much? If she zhought her spirit was more important zan her body, zen vhy is her body so strong?"

"Because vhile she views her body as a tool and ultimately disposable, it is an expensive tool and one zat needs maintenance and routine care to vork at optimal levels," Oblivion's Shadow explained. "As a result, she has trained her body to ze point vhere, at a certain level, it can take care of itself, so zat her mind can focus on ozzer matters and not need to expend as much effort on controlling ze body and dealing viz all its needs and complaints. As a result, she can go for a great deal of time vizout eating or sleeping, and can to a certain extent heal or at least grow stronger from vounds and poisons and diseases, assuming zey do not kill her vhen first applied. Because Paul became immortal and did not complete his training, he has not reached zis same state of semi-autonomy between mind and body or gained ze strength to survive ze vorst torments."

"Ah, so zat is how…remarkable!" Tarantulas remarked.

Chobin cackled and began to sing. "Haha! Paul's not as good at taking pain as a girl! Loser, loser, loser loser lo-"

A claw shot out, punching through Chobin's face and out the other side, killing the Sunflora. Again. Tarantulas sighed as Paul withdrew his claw and Chobin's corpse collapsed to the ground. "Vell, zere goes Chobin v. 39.0. Time to roll out v. 40…Herr Shadow, I understand now how she has survived all ze physical torture…but how has her vill not broken yet? Ve have done quite a lot of psychological torture, too."

"As I explained before, ninjas are trained to see zeir spirit as ze most fundamental and undying part of zem," Oblivion's Shadow informed him. "Zeir bodies may vizer and die, but ze spirit is eternal. As such, zey have trained zemselves to keep zeir vills as close to unbreakable as is Pokemonly possible. Zat does not mean zey _cannot_ be broken, just zat it is very, very hard to do so. You have come closer to shattering her mind zan you zink, but she has managed to keep her sanity by focusing on how she vill make you pay for ze zings you have done to her vhen she eventually breaks free, and constantly reminding herself of her reason for living…her desire to kill Paul, a zirst for vengeance so strong it cannot be svayed or redirected. She vill not let it."

"So zat's it…ha, she really hates you, doesn't she, Paul?" Tarantulas observed.

"She thinks her spirit is eternal and untouchable, does she?" Paul snarled. "Then maybe we should kill her and put her soul in one of the Doctor's machines. _Then_ maybe she'll see how fragile and worthless her 'undying spirit' really is."

Although she did not show any outward sign of hearing this, the Buneary's psyche, rather scarred but still intact, reeled in alarm when it heard this. They could capture her soul?! Not even death's embrace would grant her freedom?! Not that she had assumed death would truly free her from this plane, she had believed her hatred so strong it would allow her to manifest as a spirit of vengeance and continue pursuing Paul from beyond the grave, but the revelation that they could keep even this from happening and find a way to cage and torture her soul forever shocked her to the core. If that happened, her mission would never be fulfilled. And if that were the case, if there were no way to have her revenge, how much longer would she be able to last before they finally broke her?

Fortunately, Oblivion's Shadow did not seem interested by Paul's suggestion. "Kill her? No, she is too powerful and valuable. We can still use her."

"How can ve do zat if ve can't even turn her into a Shadow Pokemon, zough?!" Tarantulas protested. "She vill not join us of her free vill, and she vill not be broken. I've pumped vhat feels like _gallons_ of Shadow into her veins, but it von't _do_ anyzing if ve cannot force or convince her to close ze door to her heart!"

"…Vat if I told you zere vas anozzer vay to close zat door?" Oblivion's Shadow said.

Tarantulas started. "Anozzer vay? Vat? Vat are you talking about?"

"I thought there were only two ways to do it. They either do it willingly, or you torture them until they break," Paul said.

"There is more than one way to break someone." Oblivion's Shadow looked at Tarantulas. "Tarantulas, tell me, have you ever heard of ze Anti-Life Equation?"

Tarantulas blinked. "Ze…ze Anti-Life Equation?! It's real?!"

"The what now?" asked a confused Paul.

"Ze Anti-Life Equation is supposed to be mazzematical proof of ze futility of living," Tarantulas whispered reverently. "Ze Dark Ones, ze inventors of ze Shadow Pokemon process, are said to have discovered it and vere able to utilize it to close ze doors to ze hearts of countless Pokemon, turning zem into mindless monsters who killed everyzing and everyone in sight!"

Paul frowned. "How is that any different from the Shadow Pokemon we get through torture? They're uncontrollable killing machines too, which is why we don't use them much in the field, or at least not alongside more rational Shadow Pokemon. And how does some equation close the door to a Pokemon's heart?"

"Despair," Oblivion's Shadow said. "As Tarantulas said, the equation is supposed to prove that life is pointless and suffering is all that comes from it. Anyone who hears the equation cannot help but realize this truth, and is so overwhelmed with sorrow at the meaninglessness of existence that they devolve into a mindless nihilistic state where they seek to kill everything, including themselves. After all, if life is meaningless, what reason is there for anyone else to have it?"

Paul blinked. "That must be some equation to do all that."

"I've searched for it for years…supposedly, simply _speaking_ ze equation to a Pokemon could instantly transform zem into a Shadow Pokemon, and it vas virtually impossible to purify zat Pokemon, even for ze most skilled of Aura Guardians! I had almost begun to zink it vas just a rumor…but Herr Shadow, you knew it all along? Vhy did you not tell me?!" Tarantulas demanded.

"Because you cannot handle it," Oblivion's Shadow explained. "As you yourself just said, simply speaking it can turn anyone vizin earshot into a Shadow Pokemon. Even ze Dark Ones had trouble utilizing it effectively vizout being destroyed by it. Ze only person who could use it safely is one for whom life already had no meaning. Someone who had lost everyzing zey once valued, and passed over ze 'despair event horizon' long ago, who continued existing only to make everyone's lives as painful and pointless as zeir own. Someone…like me."

Paul and Tarantulas stared at Oblivion's Shadow in confusion. "Uh, what are you talking about?" Paul asked slowly.

"Vhat have you lost?" Tarantulas asked, vaguely recalling Oblivion's Shadow implying some tragedy in his past when he had destroyed Chobin's cloning machines after the mission to the Tree of Beginning. The Shadow's origins and reasons for founding the Nihilators was a mystery to everyone. Could this have something to do with why he sought so strongly to end all that existed?

"Zat is none of your concern. Tarantulas, you cannot comprehend ze Equation because you still cling so tightly to Chobin. Ze fact zat you have rigged up a complex cloning system to resurrect him every time he dies indicates just how much you cherish his friendship…and also shows zat if you vere to lose him forever, you vould be completely devastated. On ze ozzer hand, you vould also be able to learn ze Equation. So, tell me, Tarantulas…just how badly do you vant to know it?" Oblivion's Shadow asked.

Tarantulas paled. "I…I z-zink I can vait a little longer to know zis secret. I-I mean, I'm sure I'll figure it out sooner or later, right? I _am_ a genius, after all."

Paul frowned, disturbed by the Doctor's behavior. He had never seen Tarantulas turn down a chance to learn something new before. He must really care about Chobin…how pathetic. Paul made a note to find a way to exploit that in the future. "If you have a power that can turn anyone into a Shadow Pokemon just like that, then why is Tarantulas in charge of manufacturing Shadows? Why bother with a middlemon?"

"Why you-" Tarantulas snarled.

"Because, as I said, the Anti-Life Equation turns Pokemon into uncontrollable berserkers, incapable of reason or planning, just like Shadow Pokemon created through torture," Oblivon's Shadow explained. "And while unstoppable killing machines like that have their uses, an entire army comprised of them would be unable to follow orders, and would ultimately destroy itself. By producing the Shadow drug to use to add Shadow Pokemon to our ranks, Tarantulas is able to generate soldiers that can follow orders and are capable of rational thought while still harboring an unquenchable bloodlust and desire to kill. An army of Pokemon like that is more effective in the long run."

"Ah, I see," Paul said.

"However, one suicidal berserker in ze right place can do ze job of a dozen regular soldiers…vhich is vhy ve are going to change ze Buneary into a Shadow Pokemon, to turn her great power and incredible hatred against Team Aurabolt!" Tarantulas cackled evilly. "And best of all, even if zey can defeat her, zey vill be unable to purify her due to her being changed by ze Anti-Life Equation. Zey vill have no choice but to kill her to put her out of her misery, somezing zat vill veigh heavily on zeir consciences and make it easier to destroy zem!" The Buneary tensed, not liking the sound of this. She was not afraid of dying, but she didn't want to kill that Rescue Team, or for them to feel bad for killing her. There had to be a way around this. There was no way this equation could be that powerful, could it? Every weapon, no matter how deadly, had a weakness, didn't it?

"Not necessarily," Oblivion's Shadow corrected, inadvertently raising the ninja's hopes. "Zere is _one_ vay to purify such a Pokemon. Ze Life Equation."

Tarantulas scowled. "Vhat, zat exists too?!"

"The Life Equation?" Paul asked.

"Like matter and antimatter, where there is a positive, there is a negative, and vice versa. The Life Equation is the Anti-Life Equation's opposite and antithesis. Or rather, the Anti-Life Equation is the antithesis of the Life Equation, depending on how you look at it. While Anti-Life is mathematical proof of the futility of life, the Life Equation is proof that life is worth living," Oblivion's Shadow explained.

Paul frowned. "What? But I thought…I don't understand, how can there be proof of _both_ ways? They can't both be right!"

Oblivion's Shadow shook his head. "Wrong. The worth of a life depends on the person living it. To those like us, we Nihilators who seek to destroy everything, life is pointless, and the Anti-Life Equation justifies it. But to those with bright hopes and futures who have the power to change the world, those like the Pokemon in Team Aurabolt, life has meaning and promise, and so the Life Equation validates their beliefs. Like most things, it's all a matter of perspective."

"Since ze Life Equation and Anti-Life Equation are opposites, zey cannot exist in ze same person at ze same time," Tarantulas said. "So if Herr Shadow turns ze ninja into a Shadow Pokemon using Anti-Life, if Team Aurabolt vere to use ze Life Equation on her ze two vould cancel each ozzer out and she vould turn back to normal. However…much like its negative counterpart, ze Life Equation has been lost to history, so it is doubtful zat zey know it. And even if zey did, only a truly skilled and powerful user of Aura could utilize ze Life Equation's power properly." He smirked. "Zat Lucario Herr Shadow is so interested in is just a neophyte vet behind ze ears, zhough. I doubt he has ze skill and intellect to master ze Equation."

"Do not be so certain. Zat 'neophyte' is stronger zan you zink. He might surprise you," Oblivion's Shadow warned him.

Paul sighed. "So, to sum things up, we have a way to turn my old 'friend' here into an insane unstoppable killing machine to use against those stupid Pokemon who keep interfering with our plans, but there's a way to stop it after all and a slim chance that they might be able to use it to cure her, which would render the whole exercise pointless. Why are we considering this again?"

"Because, even if they _could_ purify her, that doesn't mean she can't still be used against them…especially after we detonate the bomb inside her to kill her and her saviors just when all of them think the danger has passed," Oblivon's Shadow said. The Buneary's eyes widened in horror.

"Er, vhat bomb?" Tarantulas asked in confusion.

"Ze bomb zat you are going to implant in her, Herr Doctor," the Shadow said.

Tarantulas blinked. "Oh…OH. _Zat_ bomb." He cackled and rubbed his front legs together. "Yes, yes of course…ooh, if only I could see ze look on zeir faces ven ze bomb blows zem all up just after zey zink zey've saved her! Gahahahahaha!"

Paul grinned. "Well, why didn't you say so in the first place? Let's do it, then. Let's see just how powerful this equation thing is."

"An excellent idea! I'll just vatch from behind zis impenetrable shield," Tarantulas said, having retreated to a force-field bubble several meters away.

"What the…hey! Don't leave me out here!" Paul said in alarm. "She hates me most of all, I'll be the first thing she tries to kill!"

Tarantulas nodded. "Ja, zat's ze idea."

Paul growled angrily. "You cowardly ironshod bug! You'll need to replace more parts of your body with metal when I'm through with you!"

Tarantulas giggled. "_You_ might be ze one in need of spare parts, Paul, once _she's_ zhrough viz you!"

The Buneary started struggling anew against her bonds, ignoring her body's screams of fatigue and agony. She didn't care if she ripped all four limbs off in the process, she could not remain here. She had to escape. She could not allow herself to be used in this way to kill people! Unfortunately, her restraints had been built too well, which was why she had not escaped days ago and left a bloody swath in her wake as she fled the fortress. Terror and despair welled up in her, her training to suppress such distractions forgotten as the horrifying mirror-faced demon in black turned towards her, bent over, and whispered something in her ear.

Knowing this was coming, she had steeled herself and strengthened her resolve. She had clad her will in iron and raised every mental defense she had, every fortification she had been taught how to construct—or invented herself—to safeguard her spirit, everything that had allowed her to keep her sanity despite all the tortures the hated Paul and his companions had inflicted on her.

It was not enough. The formula Oblivion's Shadow whispered to her smashed through the fortress of her mind like a metal-piercing Bullet Seed, striking the core of her innermost self with an impact so hard that it almost stopped her heart, especially when the full implications of what it brought with it rippled throughout her weary soul. No…no! It couldn't be. What he said couldn't be true! It was too horrible, it went against everything she had ever been taught, it _had_ to be a lie, and yet…and yet…

It made sense. It made far too much sense. Everything she had ever done, everything she had experienced, her entire life was suddenly laid out before her in a new, harsher light. A darker light. And it was with a sinking feeling that she came to realize the awful truth. Life, hope, freedom…it was irrelevant. Pointless. Nothing mattered. All ideals and goals were constructs people used to distract themselves from the meaningless and sheer agony of existence. Life was nothing but a cruel joke of the gods, with everyone born in pain and dying alone in sorrow. Everything was nothing. Nothing was everything.

The brave ninja fell into despair…and darkness enveloped her heart. With a silent scream, the machine holding her in place shattered as a tremendous burst of Shadow Aura engulfed her, wreathing her form in purple-black flames. Paul flinched. "Whoa!"

"Incredible…her power is off ze charts! She's even stronger zen I had hoped! Bwahahahaha!" Tarantulas cackled gleefully. "I zink I vill call her…Pokemon XDra!"

"XDra?" Paul asked.

"Ja, since I can't zink of a good number," Tarantulas said. The Weavile sweatdropped.

The Buneary's red eyes glowed as the Shadow flames roared around her, the various wounds and scars she had received over the last week mending themselves. She spread her arms out to either side and grunted as black ice began to form on her skin. A pair of plaques with curved blades formed on her shoulders. Gauntlets with three curved blades each formed around her wrists, and a pair of long, very sharp ice spikes grew over the knuckles of her left paw. Ice plates covered the fleece on the lower half of her body and ice boots with three curved blades each on the greaves formed on her feet. An ice helmet formed of layered plates with a trident-shaped ornament on the forehead and holes for her ears formed over her head, a pair of ice plates snapping into place over her face and hiding all of it except for her glowing red eyes. Paul started when he recognized the armor. "No…that's…the Slicer's armor! How did she…"

His voice cut off when the armored ninja turned her eyes towards her. Her crimson orbs flashed and her Shadow Aura surged, causing the lab to tremble, and she dashed towards the Weavile, drawing back her left arm to gouge his eyes out with the spikes growing over her hand. Paul tensed and raised his claws, ready to defend himself…

And needn't have bothered, as an energy bubble popped into existence around the ninja, trapping her. She slammed into the side of it and clawed furiously, eyes and Aura flaring as she scratched and slashed wildly at the membrane, trying to break out and kill her adversary. "Impressive…" Tarantulas murmured as he tentatively left his force-field shelter. "It seems as if even now zat she is a Shadow Pokemon, her hatred for you is so ingrained zat you are ze first zing she seeks to kill. She doesn't even seem to notice zat Herr Shadow or I are here..."

"Will that hold her?" Paul asked Oblivion's Shadow, who had created the bubble.

The Shadow nodded. "Her power is great, but mine is greater. She will not struggle for much longer, I didn't bother to include much air in there, she'll wear herself out soon enough." Indeed, as they watched, the ninja's frenzied clawing seemed to slow, a dazed look forming in her eyes as she used up all the oxygen in her prison. She staggered, Aura flickering wildly, and eventually fell unconscious. The bubble paled slightly as the Shadow let air into it, but the armored ninja was still out cold. "Doctor, you will need to use extra-strength sedatives and restraints to implant that bomb into her and keep her secure until we can transport her to wherever Team Aurabolt is now."

"Will she even fight them? Like Tarantulas said, she only seems to have eyes for me," Paul pointed out.

Tarantulas chuckled. "Zat vill not be a problem. I know vays to get around zat. If she vants to kill you, zen zat's exactly vhat ve'll give her…or at least, vhat she'll _zink_ ve're giving her." He frowned. "Of course, now ve actually have to find zem, vhich is a bit of a problem since zat map of zeirs keeps us from tracking zem zhrough magical means. And I doubt she's sane enough to track zem in her current condition, so how vill ve…hmm? Vat's zis? I'm getting a call."

His mechanical eye telescoped out and projected a hologram of a Luxio in Nihilator gear. The Spark Pokemon saluted. "Doctor Tarantulas, sir! Is Oblivion's Shadow still in your lab? I have urgent news to tell him!"

"I am here," Oblivion's Shadow said as he glided into view, mask taking on the face and voice of the Luxio. "What is your report?"

The Luxio saluted again. "Lord Shadow, sir, our maritime agents stationed in the waters off the coast of Sinnorre have informed us that the hostile codenamed 'The Captain' is sailing on a direct course for Treasure Town!"

Tarantulas and Paul started when they heard this. Oblivion's Shadow, as always, showed no reaction. "Ze Captain?! He's heading for Treasure Town?!" Tarantulas cried.

"We _still_ haven't gotten rid of that guy?" Paul growled.

"Does he know we have operations there?" Oblivion's Shadow asked.

"Unknown, sir. We don't know if he's come to attack our forces in the town, or if he's just coming in to resupply his vessel for a raid somewhere else," the Luxio informed him. "Shall we alert our troops in Treasure Town and set up an ambush?"

"Vhat are you, crazy? He'll massacre zem! He's single-handedly destroyed dozens of our bases and hindered our global operations for years! Hell, he's even beaten Paul, vhat chance do you expendables have?!" Tarantulas shouted.

"He didn't beat me," Paul snarled.

"He fought you to a standstill and got avay viz his life, sounds like he beat you to me," Tarantulas said. Paul's eye twitched.

"Sir? What should I tell our forces in Treasure Town to do about the Captain?" the Luxio asked the Shadow.

"Tell them to hold position for now. I will deliver more direct orders shortly," the Shadow told him.

"Yes sir." The hologram vanished.

"Vell? Vhat are ve going to do about him? Ze Captain is bad news for us! If he discovers vhat ve've been up to in Treasure Town, our plans to open ze Door could be jeopardized!" Tarantulas said to Oblivion's Shadow.

"An idea occurs to me." Oblivion's Shadow glanced at the unconscious Buneary floating beside him. "An opportunity to test our latest weapon."

Paul grinned, showing his fangs. "So you're going to sic her on the Captain as a warm-up for Team Aurabolt? An excellent idea. If she can take _him_ down, that worthless Rescue Team shouldn't pose much of a problem."

"Yes, but ve still need to _find_ zem," Tarantulas pointed out.

"Zat may be easier zan you zink," Oblivion's Shadow said. "Ze first time ve encountered Team Aurabolt, zey vere rescuing Tracey Sketchit from our forces, and soon after ventured into ze catacombs under Treasure Town to find Professor Oak before ve could. It vould not be much of a stretch of ze imagination to say zat zey probably keep in touch viz ze Professor and his assistant for information on ze Star Badges and ze Door. Alzough Oak and Sketchit have yet to be located, ve are fairly certain zey are still somevhere near Treasure Town, so if ve find zem…"

"Zen zey can lead us to Team Aurabolt? Ze problem, Herr Shadow, is zat zen ve vould need to find…my old colleague," Tarantulas said with some distaste. "Who has so far managed to elude all efforts to find him, annoyingly enough."

"Zen perhaps it's time ve called in a professional. Do you suppose Hunter J could do ze job?" Oblivion's Shadow asked.

"Hunter J?! Zat mercenary bitch?! Ve can't trust her viz somezing as important as zis!" Tarantulas protested.

"But you could trust her to capture the legendary Pokemon that some of our best agents were unable to catch, you included?" Paul asked bluntly. Tarantulas growled.

"J has as many ties, if not more, to ze criminal element as us," Oblivion's Shadow said to Tarantulas. "And a superb talent at finding Pokemon who do not vant to be found. If anyone can locate Oak, it is her. And once she finds him…she vill find Team Aurabolt. And if Team Aurabolt should already happen to be in Treasure Town for vhatever reason, perhaps to check up on ze Professor or make preparations to set out and find ze next Star Badge, zen it'll be just zat much easier for J to find zem."

Paul frowned, a thought occurring to him. "If they're already in town…do you suppose they might try to hook up with the Captain? If they find out about him, they'll realize he would be a powerful ally to have on their side. If he deigned to join them, they would be even harder for us to defeat than they are now."

Tarantulas snorted. "Oh, come on! Oak, ze Captain, and Team Aurabolt all in town at ze same time as ve are testing our newest Shadow Pokemon _and_ sending Hunter J's crew to find zem all? Vhat are ze odds of zat happening? It's a bit too unlikely, don't you zink?"

"It may not be as unlikely as you zink…and it certainly vould be convenient for us if ve could get all of zem in one fell svoop," the Shadow said. He nodded, making a decision. "Here is vhat ve will do. Ve vill dispatch J to Treasure Town to intercept ze Captain and unleash our friend here, whom zey vill be carrying as cargo, on him. Zey vill zen recapture ze ninja, find Professor Oak and Tracey, and extract ze location of Team Aurabolt from zem by any means necessary. Zey vill zen hunt down Aurabolt and unleash zeir deadly cargo once again, and even if Aurabolt manages to defeat her and live, it is doubtful zey vill be in any condition afterwards to keep J from finishing zem off. And if, for vhatever reason, Team Aurabolt turns out to already be in town, no matter how unlikely it might seem…zat vill just make J's job zat much easier, and it also means ve von't have to pay her as much, since she bills by ze hour."

"Hmm…vell, all right, I suppose it couldn't hurt," Tarantulas said grudgingly. Who knew? If he was lucky, Pokemon XDra might wind up killing J and her henchmon as well. It wasn't that he was ungrateful that she had managed to procure the legendary Pokemon for the Nihilators or anything like that, but he couldn't help feeling somewhat resentful that she had succeeded many times where he himself had failed. That sort of thing got to a guy. Besides, he was good at disliking people for petty reasons, much like his assistant, although Chobin took it to higher extremes than he usually did.

"And once she's served her purpose…may I kill her?" Paul asked.

Oblivion's Shadow shrugged. "If you believe you can."

"I have to. She and I have a score to settle." The Weavile narrowed his eyes at the unconscious armored ninja. "I've been looking forward to it for a long time now, just as much as she has. It would be a pity not to see our grudge through to its end."

"Then you will have your chance to resolve the past you share once and for all…after she has fulfilled her mission," the Shadow said. "And after Team Aurabolt and the Captain are no longer a threat to us. And to make sure all goes smoothly…I will accompany J and Pokemon XDra to take care of things personally."

Paul and Tarantulas exchanged startled looks. "_You're_ going too?" the Weavile asked.

"But…I zought you couldn't set foot zere," said the confused Tarantulas.

"_I_ can't," the Shadow agreed. He grunted, and suddenly Shadow Aura roared to life around him, a tower of dark flames even greater in magnitude than those the ninja had managed to generate. As Paul and Tarantulas flinched back from the sheer power rippling off Oblivion's Shadow in tremendous waves, a portion of the fire separated from the main body and landed before the Shadow, growing and solidifying to form…

An exact replica of Oblivion's Shadow himself. "But _I_ can," the replica said as the true Shadow's Aura died down.

"Vow," said an awestruck Tarantulas.

"Ah," Paul said. "Isn't that overkill? You, her, and J all at once?"

"Vell, you know vat zey say," Tarantulas said wisely. "Ze more ze merrier…and zere's no kill like overkill!"

…

Meanwhile, elsewhere in the Nihilator fortress…

_Who is 'The Captain?'_ Gardevoir asked, rather perplexed. The secret network shared by the rebel movement working against the Nihilators had been buzzing for the last few minutes with news that this enigmatic mon had been spotted heading for Treasure Town.

_He's this really tough guy that even most of the higher-ups are afraid of,_ Lovrina informed her. _He's pretty much unstoppable! And has an _awesome_ mustache._

_He's been Houndooming the Nihilators for years, and despite their best attempts to kill him, he just keeps coming back for more,_ a janitor mopping the floor in some distant hallway explained.

_He's destroyed dozens of Nihilator bases around the world, and killed hundreds of their strongest Shadow Pokemon soldiers,_ said a guard allegedly monitoring the security feed from Gardevoir's cell.

_They say he swore an oath of vengeance against the entire organization because of the death of his wife, and won't rest until the Nihilators have been, well, annihilated,_ commented a cook heaping slop onto trays in one of the cafeterias.

_The Nihilators killed his wife?_ Gardevoir asked, feeling a pang of sympathy.

_The Nihilators have killed the wives of many Pokemon,_ another prisoner recovering from his latest round of torture thought bitterly. _Including mine._

_But the Captain's one of the few Pokemon who's set out to do anything about it,_ Lovrina, clearly a fan of the Pokemon in question, said devotedly. _He sails around the world in his mighty ship, destroying any Nihilator that crosses his path. He's seeking the individual responsible for killing his wife, but hasn't found him yet. He's still looking, though. It's very romantic, don't you think?_

_Yeah, it is,_ Gardevoir agreed.

_I wish there were someone so in love with me that, after I died, they would go out and kill the people responsible,_ Lovrina said wistfully.

Were this a regular conversation, there would be an awkward pause. However, since everyone in the network was connected by their hearts, it was impossible to keep secrets from each other, so everyone's (completely understandable) disturbed reactions to Lovrina's somewhat worrisome comment could be heard by everybody else, including Lovrina. She did not appear to notice. Or rather, she did notice, but she didn't particularly care, she was aware that she was rather weird. _Gardevoir, there are a lot of males in your life. We've seen them in your memories, and what you think of them. How many of them would go on a love-fueled orgy of destruction if the Nihilators killed you?_

_Not if, when,_ the recently-tortured prisoner said morosely. _Since killing her is part of their master plan to destroy the world._

_She'll get saved before that happens!_ Lovrina snapped. _So, anyway, which of your guy friends do you think would swear an oath of vengeance if you died? That Ash cutie?_

_Ash? No, while he'd be angry and certainly make the Nihilators pay, he's in love with Misty. Everyone knows that. Except Ash and Misty, of course._ Gardevoir hesitated. _I…suppose there is still no definite news as to whether she is alive or not…_

_If there were, you would know it as soon as we did,_ the security guard said.

_Considering how long it's been since she was taken to Tarantulas, you might be better off hoping she was dead. Because if she were still alive in _that_ place…_ the cook trailed off, but too late to keep the incredibly vivid imaginings of some of the horrific experiments the Doctor was most infamous for from flashing through their minds. They shuddered.

_Even I'm better off than the poor saps the Doctor gets his mandibles into_, the prisoner said. _All I have to deal with is beatings, brandings, ass-rape, and lousy food. That's paradise compared to the Doctor's victims…especially the one his creepy assistant gets his leaves and, er, other things into…_ More horrible images flashed through their minds. Not for the first time, it occurred to all of them that it might be a good thing that they didn't have any contacts inside the Doctor's lair. Since they couldn't help sharing everything that happened to them with everyone else on the network, how much of the experiences the Doctor's subjects suffered could they take before they all went insane?

_So, anyway,_ Lovrina chirped, happily changing the subject. _How about Gary? He has a sort of dark antihero vibe to him that suggests he wouldn't mind busting a few heads, even if he is kind of a doofus. Plus, you guys _do_ have quite a history._

_Er, no, Mary's in love with Gary. Not that he notices,_ Gardevoir said, relieved by her friend's redirection of the conversation. _That seems to be a common trait among many of my friends, actually. I wonder why…_

_Uh, weren't we talking about the Captain? How did we get into a discussion of Gardevoir's love life? _Asked the janitor.

_Well, it started when-_ Lovrina began.

_That was a rhetorical question,_ the janitor said.

_This Captain sounds like a useful ally…why have we not recruited him?_ Gardevoir asked. _I thought that we had at least a few agents outside this place. Why not him as well?_

She received the answer instantaneously. The Captain was the sort of Pokemon who attacked first and asked questions later. In fact, he didn't even need to ask questions since he was Psychic, and constantly read the minds of those around him rather than obeying the social niceties of privacy most other Psychics obeyed. As a result, no member of the network had been able to approach him without getting attacked and/or killed. You would think he'd be able to read their minds and realize they weren't a threat, but for the same reason Oblivion's Shadow and the other Nihilators were unaware of the rebellion growing right under their feet, so too was the Captain incapable of knowing that not all the Nihilators coming at him were evil without somebody telling him first, which, as previously pointed out, was easier said than done. _There may be other ways we can gain his assistance aside from adding him to our network,_ the Teacher said, finally speaking up. _He is heading for Treasure Town. Gardevoir's latest attempt to make contact with Team Aurabolt, though as unsuccessful as all the previous ones, gave her the impression that they were heading for Treasure Town as well. Gardevoir, if you could get through to them and inform them about the Captain…_

_But Teacher, I'm still not strong enough. I'm barely getting through at all! I'm not even certain if the mind I've been able to communicate with has even comprehended what little information I've been able to impart so far! Not to mention there may be something _else_ lurking within that mind…_ Gardevoir said anxiously.

_Nevertheless, you must make the attempt to at least _imply_ that the Captain is someone they should form an alliance with. Since they are opposing the Nihilators as well, a union between them would create a force our captors would tremble before, bringing our freedom that much closer,_ the Teacher said. _I know you doubt yourself, but you _are_ improving, Gardevoir. It will not be much longer now before you can create a more direct link with them and give them all the information we have gathered so they can use it to bring the Nihilators to their knees! _the Teacher said.

Gardevoir sighed as the rest of the network gave her encouragements, giving in. _Very well. I will do my best. I suppose it is time for my next session, then?_

_Yes,_ the Teacher said as the door to Gardevoir's prison opened and the Kecleon entered the room. _It is._

"Are you ready?" the Kecleon asked.

Gardevoir rose to her feet. "Yes. Let's do this again."

The Kecleon nodded and lunged at her with Faint Attack. It was a direct hit.

…

Meanwhile, in the skies above Howling Forest…

"Kerraaahhhh! Kill them! Destroy their ship! Knock them out of the sky!" an overzealous Swellow shrieked. "Those without wings have no place in the air!"

"Ahem," a Dodrio floating next to the Swellow coughed.

The bird amended his statement. "Er, those who don't have wings and aren't Flying types, that is!"

"How did you get up here, anyway?" a Swablu asked the Dodrio.

"It's something we try not to think about," one of the Dodrio's heads responded.

"I'm scared of heights!" another head wailed.

Redwing's flock of barbarians, an airborne army of bird Pokemon numbering in the hundreds, was swarming around a flying machine that had dared to enter their airspace. The vessel resembled a large Espanish galleon, but rather than having masts and sails its hull was hanging from the underside of a big rigid metal envelope with tanks containing lighter-than-air gas lining the exterior that allowed it to float through the air. It also had a number of engines mounted on the rear and sides of the envelope and gondola to propel it from place to place. The name _Espada_ was painted on the side of the envelope, a fitting name since the galleon-shaped gondola's prow looked like a giant sword. This sword was actually swinging about on a very flexible ball hinge so that it could slice at any nearby birds from a number of angles. This, along with the laser and rocket cannons placed in the galleon's deck and gunports and the ranged attacks fired by the passengers, served as the airship's primary means of defending itself.

And who were these passengers, might you ask? Didn't the ship's name make it obvious? "Get away from my ship, you wretched winged _bichos!_" Zoro cried indignantly, swinging his sword and unleashing a Vacuum-Cut blade at the groups of Staravia and Wingull flying around him, the energy blade bisecting many and cutting off the wings of others, sending them plummeting to their deaths. "I will not allow you to set a single talon on board my beloved _Espada!_" the swashbuckling Meowth roared as more birds swooped down to attack.

"You realize that phrase could easily be taken the wrong way, don't you?" Wes commented, flinging Swift stars at the Spearows and Pidgeottos harrowing him. They blew the stars away by flapping their wings and generating Gusts, then flung Swift of their own at him. The Espeon used Double-Team to evade the stars, then swept a Hyper Beam through the air above him, blasting the birds away.

"I don't follow," Zoro said, releasing a Thunderbolt that fricasseed the next wave of Swellows and Starlies to come at him.

"Eh, never mind. Hey, look over there!" Wes cried, spotting something. "They're trying to rupture the gas tanks while this cannon fodder distracts us!" He was right, some Fearow and Doduo were working at the gas canisters lining the exterior of the airship's envelope with Drill Peck, trying to empty the canisters of their contents so that the vessel could no longer remain in the air.

Zoro scowled. "This I cannot abide! Come! Let us show those feathered _banditos_ what happens to those who try and destroy that which is Zoro's!" He and Wes started running for the long-beaked birds. They were able to do this because they were standing on top of the airship's envelope, using magnetic shoes and guide ropes to stay anchored to the hull without needing to worry about getting blown off by the wind gusting all around them.

They were intercepted by some Farfetch'd and Murkrow, who flung Air Slashes and Shadow Balls at them. Zoro generated a Vacuum Cut with his sword to dissipate the Air Slashes, while Wes telekinetically grabbed the Shadow Balls and flung them back at the Murkrow, blasting them out of the sky while Zoro cut the Farfetch'd down to size with his blade, easily shattering their leek weapons with his much stronger metal one. "They'll need to try harder than that if they're going to stop us!" Wes quipped.

"Si, I doubt they have ever fought opponents of our caliber!" Zoro agreed.

They hurried towards the nearest gas canisters, firing Thunderbolts and Shadow Balls to send the saboteurs flying. They had arrived in time to keep most of the tanks from getting damaged too badly, but several had been pierced by the bird's Drill Pecks, and gas was leaking from them at an alarming rate. The envelope shuddered under their feet, and their ears popped as the ship began slowly losing altitude. "Is there nothing you can do?" Zoro asked Wes worriedly.

"What do I look like, a repairmon? I'm a fighter, not a mechanic!" Wes said.

Zoro growled in exasperation…then gasped, spotting a Skarmory sailing towards them. "Looks like someone's coming to finish the job! Away with you, buzzard!"

"Zoro, wait, that's-" Wes protested, too late to keep Zoro from firing a Thunderbolt.

The bolt struck a direct hit, nearly knocking the wailing bird out of the air. "Haha! That'll show them…wait, why does the mustache on that bird look familiar?" Zoro paused. "Oh. I think I have made a mistake."

"Yeah, you think?" Wes said sardonically.

"What the hell was that for?! I'm on your side, remember?!" a sparking Gonzap snapped as he hovered over them.

"_Mis apologias._ From a distance, you look just like all the other Skarmories," Zoro apologized humbly.

Gonzap snorted. "As if! I'm much handsomer…and none of them have my distinctive mustache! I think you need to get your eyes checked, furball, before you run a friend through with that Grumpigsticker of yours rather than the Pokemon trying to kill you!"

Zoro growled. Wes intervened before a fight could break out. "Gonzap, is there something you came to tell us about?"

"Yeah, while you two are wasting time over here, there's a bunch of other creeps trying to break into the gas tanks on the other side of this thing! I'd handle it myself, but I've got my talons full trying to keep the real heavy hitters off your backs." A Honchkrow dove towards him from behind, trying to cut him down with a Wing Attack, but Gonzap shifted to the side and raised a Steel Wing without even looking, his stronger bladed metal feathers easily slicing through the Big Boss Pokemon's red and black pinions, causing the Dark bird to lose his wing, carome off the surface of the envelope, and slide off the side and to his death. The Skarmory kept talking as if the attack had never happened. "These are pretty unfriendly skies up here…I'm starting to wonder if we should have stayed in Battlus. Maybe living in a winter resort wouldn't have been such a bad thing after all…I've always wanted to learn how to ice-skate!"

"It's a bit late for regrets now, Senor Gonzap," Zoro said.

"Retreat isn't an option, so our only choices are win or crash," Wes said. "Kinda like the old days, huh?"

"Yeah, the ones I thought we'd left behind," Gonzap grumbled. He frowned, noticing a rather large group of Pidgeot and Staraptor gliding towards them. "I'd better take care of those punks. You two get over to the other gas canisters now before this thing falls out from under your feet!" He spread his wings and flew off to engage the avian foes.

"'Keeping the heavy hitters off our backs?' We could take care of those feathered _demonios_ on our own," Zoro commented.

Wes nodded. "Yeah, but we might as well let him think he's doing something important. Come on, I don't particularly relish the idea of a crash-landing."

"Neither do I! My _padre_ would kill me if I let the _Espada_ die, it's been in the family for generations!" Zoro said.

"I thought your father was dead," Wes said.

"He is, but he came back as a Ghost. He wanted to be Zoro again, but I told him that since he was undead now and no longer a _gato_ he couldn't have the job. He's rather resentful about the whole thing," Zoro said. Wes sweatdropped.

While Wes, Gonzap, and Zoro defended the upper part of the airship, the rest of the crew took care of the main gondola. "You want a piece of this? Huh? You want to mess with the Ruinator?! Get a load of this!" Rui, who was monning the guns, Murkrowed as she fired salvo after salvo at the attacking birds, blasting about half a dozen out of the sky with every shot. "Yeah! Take that! Who else wants some?!"

Rosa, who was steering the ship because this was too dangerous a situation for autopilot and because she was the only Pokemon on the lower deck with something resembling hands, sweatdropped. "That _senorita_ is very bipolar…outside of battle, she is the sweetest flower you can find, but in combat…hohoho! Well, I suppose every rose has its thorns, si? I know from experience…" She frowned as she checked the radar screen, noticing a rather large cluster of birds was approaching them from both sides in a pincer formation. "Rui, we have more incoming."

"Bring 'em on!" Rui said eagerly.

"_Mi amigo,_ you might want to ease up a little, you don't want to run out of ammunition," Rosa warned the bloodthirsty Umbreon.

"What, and risk letting one of those flying rats through and possibly hurt Wes or the others? No way!" Rui said firmly.

"There is more than one way to handle a pack of slavering mons…you might want to try that pink button on your right," Rosa suggested.

Rui frowned, noticing the pink button on the weapons console she was operating. It had a big heart on it. "Hmm? What does this button do?" She pressed it.

Outside, the two groups of birds closing in on the gondola started shimmering with power as they charged up their Aerial Ace, Sky Attack, and Brave Bird moves, intending to smash through the pylons suspending the vessel from the envelope and send it plummeting to its tree-lined grave below. "All right, hold steady! Nobody break formation! Those cannons can't hit all of us!" the Chatot in command squawked.

He was wrong, especially when the weapon banks fired, instead of energy balls or missiles or laser beams, two great clouds of pink dust. The birds flew into the clouds and started coughing and choking, forced to break off their attack run to clear their lungs and catch their breath. "Graaah! What was that stuff?!" a Pidgeotto screeched.

"I don't know, but it smelled kind of nice…" a Pelipper commented.

Rui frowned and glanced at Rosa. "What was that stuff?"

Rosa grinned sexily. "Oh, just a few of my specially fermented pheromones."

"And the purpose of shooting them with it was…?" Rui asked.

Rosa laughed. "See for yourself!" She flicked a switch.

Outside, both sides of the envelope flickered and revealed projected images of Rosa's face. "_Hola, mis pequeños amigos del chirrido! _(Hello, my little birdie friends!) How are you doing today?"

The eyes of the birds that had gotten sprayed by the pheromones turned into hearts. "Wow, what a hottie!" a Starly chirped.

"I'd build a nest for her any day!" said an equally smitten Swellow.

"I don't mean to be pushy, but I was wondering if you big strong _hombres_ could do me a favor?" Rosa asked, touching a flower to her chin and smiling coquettishly.

"I have no idea what an _hombre_ is, but I hope that I'm one!" a Spearow said eagerly.

"We'll do anything you say, miss! Anything at all!" a Murkrow said obsequiously.

"Oh, good! Do you think you could go and stop those mean birds that are attacking my ship? I'd hate for it to get damaged from all the fighting," Rosa said, making an utterly adorable pout that caused quite a few birds to drop from the sky with spontaneous nosebleeds. (Or would that be beakbleeds?)

"No problem! You can count on us!" the commanding Chatot promised excitedly, seeing absolutely no problem with attacking his comrades just because a pretty womon asked him to. None of his subordinates saw a problem with it either.

"_Gracias!_ That means a lot to me!" Rosa said, winking and blowing a kiss. More birds dropped from the sky in bliss. Those that didn't flew off to go kill their fellow soldiers.

"Wow," said an awestruck Rui as Rosa cut off the video feed. "That was incredible. How did you _do_ that?!"

Rosa smirked. "I am a beautiful womon who has no problem with flaunting her assets to get what she wants. Some might call me a whore. I call myself pragmatic. You have to use what you've got to get ahead in this world, after all, and I just happen to have a bit more than most females. Would you like to know a few of my tricks? They might make your _galan_ more interested in you than in a motorcycle he can't even ride."

"Do they make your boyfriend more interested in you than in his airship?" Rui asked.

Rosa grimaced. "Good question. Never mind, then."

"I didn't say no!" Rui protested hurriedly. "After all, what girl _doesn't_ want a bunch of strapping brainless mons drooling and beating themselves up for her?" Rosa chuckled, pleased to have a new protégé. Up on the top of the envelope, Wes and Zoro shivered, feeling the same sensation of nameless dread all males do when they suspect their girlfriends are plotting something unpleasant.

While Zoro and Wes were on top of the envelope and Rui and Rosa were in the bridge, El Toro and Lobo were standing out on the deck, the wind blowing through their fur as they stared out at the birds swarming around the ship. Since neither of them had opposable thumbs or anything like arms, the best they could do in defending the _Espada_ was to stand on deck and make sure that any birds that somehow made it past Rui's cannon fire or the swinging blade on the ship's prow didn't get the chance to do any damage. The prone and broken forms of the dozen or so boarders that they'd beaten so far littered the deck around them, bloodstained feathers drifting all over the place in testament to how seriously they took their job. "Rosa is quite the charmer, isn't she?" El Toro commented as he watched the lovestruck birds fight to the death against their brethren.

"Yeah," Lobo said.

El Toro frowned. Something about his friend sounded off. "Are you all right?"

Lobo blinked. "Huh? Yeah, why?"

"You didn't sound the least bit wistful when you said 'Yeah,' like you didn't envy those birdbrains at all for being under Rosa's thrall. I thought you had a crush on her."

"Oh," Lobo said. He fidgeted. "Yeah…about that…"

El Toro's eyes bulged in disbelief. "You're not attracted to her anymore?!" Something was _definitely_ not right. Lobo, not interested in a sexy _chica?_ The Tauros whipped himself with his tail to make sure he wasn't dreaming.

Lobo sighed. "To be honest, I've been having trouble getting interested in the ladies ever since Sasha…had a talk with me." He shuddered, the trauma from that fight still haunting him. "Every time I try fantasizing about a womon, I see _her_ face glaring at me, like some stern disapproving _abuela_ (grandmother). It's hard to stay aroused after that, especially when I'm worried she'll claw my balls off for thinking about things like that."

"That's rough, mon," El Toro said sympathetically.

Lobo nodded. "Yeah…I'm starting to wonder if she's scared me off of womon. Maybe I should give mons a shot. Would be an interesting change of pace, yeah?" El Toro stared at him for a long moment then slowly took a few steps away from the Mightyena.

"Sire, they're putting up a better fight than we expected. They're throwing us into chaos. More than a few of our flights are using those love-crazed Lunatonics betrayal as an excuse to hash out some old tribal grudges with their neighbors," Tyson, recently promoted second-in-command of Redwing's army (and secret double agent for Team Rocket) reported to his leader as they watched the fighting from afar.

Redwing sneered. "Fools. Are they so hungry for blood they can't differentiate ally from enemy? Are they so weak-willed that a smile and a wink from a worthless groundling is enough to turn them against each other? What a pitiful bunch of nestlings." The leader of the immense flying horde was a truly monstrous specimen of his species, a Fearow with razor-sharp talons, a cruel pointed beak covered with scars from his many battles, and a wingspan of at least fifteen feet. As his name implied, the feathers on his great wings were a bright red, said to be permanent stains from the blood of all the Pokemon he had killed (But in reality, it was dye made from mashed berries. Anyone who pointed that out got a Drill Peck through the ear, so needless to say nobody mentioned it.).

"What are your orders, sire?" Tyson asked.

"Kill the lovestruck worms. If they're so starved for affection they'll turn against me because a disgusting dirt-walker spread her thighs for them, they have no place in my flock," Redwing said coldly. Tyson inwardly cringed, but gave no visible sign that this order disturbed him. Among the ranks of barbarians, those who couldn't keep up lost the right to live in the eyes of their superiors. Redwing's flock, who heartily believed in the old principle of 'fly or die,' was no exception. The shady and often cutthroat dealings of the criminal organization Tyson worked for were outright tame in comparison to the brutal politics of these lawless thugs and killers.

"And what of the ship, sire? They have effectively repelled out attacks so far," Tyson inquired after he had relayed the order to cut the dead weight, trying to ignore the dying screams of Pokemon whose only crime (aside from the many thefts and murders and rapes they had committed for most of their lives) had been falling in love with the enemy.

"These opening skirmishes were merely to test their defenses," Tyson explained. "Now that I have seen what they are capable of, it's time to get serious and remove these intruders from our precious sky. All Swablu and Altaria, give us some cloud cover!"

The blue and white birds chirped in the affirmative and gathered in a ring around the airship, hovering out of range of Rui's cannon fire. They opened their beaks and emitted streams of Mist, the white clouds mingling together and condensing into a thick mass of fog completely engulfing the _Espada._ Tyson grinned when the vessel was hidden from view. "Now that they've lost their visibility…send in the saboteurs!"

"Hey, what gives with all this fog?" Rui complained from the _Espada's _bridge. "I can't see any targets!"

"It's interfering with our radar, too…hold on, let me switch on the foglights," Rosa said, pressing a button and causing bright white spotlights to come to life on parts of the ship, cutting through some of the fog but failing to eradicate all of it. "Hmm…this isn't good."

"Can't we just fly out of it?" Rui asked.

"Without knowing what's around us, and the radar on the fritz? We could crash into a mountain or something," Rosa said. "All we can do now is sit tight and wait for the fog to pass…and be ready for whatever those treacherous birds pull next!"

"Wow, it's thicker than pea soup out here," El Toro commented as he and Lobo tried to make their way carefully across the mist-shrouded deck. "I can barely see my nose in front of my face!"

"You can't see it anyway, your eyes are on opposite sides of your head," Lobo pointed out. He tripped over some rope and fell on his face. "Ugh…I hate this stuff…" He yelped when El Toro tripped too, falling over him.

"Sorry, didn't mean to step on your tail," the Tauros apologized as he staggered back onto his hooves.

"That wasn't my tail…" Lobo squeaked in pain.

"What are those _sinverguenzas_ (scoundrels) up to now?" Zoro muttered warily as he and Wes slowly walked through the mist.

"I don't know, but it can't be anything good," Wes grunted, keeping his eyes on the ground to try and maintain a sure footing. "Maybe they're trying another run on the tanks? Or the engines?"

"Perhaps…or maybe…" Zoro gasped, seeing a large figure swooping towards them. "Here one comes! Look out!"

"Zoro, wait, that's-" Wes protested too late to keep Zoro from blasting the newcomer with a Thunderbolt. "Gonzap again."

Zoro sweatdropped. "Whoops."

"Hate you…so…much…" a twitching, crackling Gonzap gasped.

"Gonzap, are you all right?" Wes asked, rushing over.

"Do I look all right?!" Gonzap snapped as he tried to get up, metal feathers clanking noisily against each other and the surface of the envelope. "I got zapped again thanks to trigger-happy Skitty-cat over there! With friends like him, who needs the big bloodthirsty flock of killer birds surrounding us?!"

"Sorry…" Zoro said Mareepishly.

"Do you have any idea what those birds are up to?" Wes asked as Gonzap shook his feathers out, making more of a clamor in the process.

"No. I was trying to fly out of the mist to get a better view, but I wound up getting turned around and landing here…where a certain _someone_ attacked me without provocation!" Gonzap growled.

Zoro sighed. "I already apologized, didn't I?"

"Plus, I'm pretty sure you would have done the same thing," Wes pointed out. Gonzap grumbled but did not disagree. "So, now that we're all together, what do we do?"

"Well, I suppose we should…wait! Did you see that!" Zoro said, instantly going on alert.

"See what?" Wes asked, glancing around.

"I thought I saw a flash of red light. Over in that direction!" Zoro said, pointing at…somewhere. "Or was it over there?" he wondered, looking somewhere else.

"A genius at navigation, this one," Gonzap grunted.

Wes closed his eyes and opened his Psychic senses to the elements. He had gotten so used to having his sixth sense restricted from all the time he'd spent in Battlus that he still was getting the hang of having his full power available to him again. Sometimes he forgot just what sorts of things he was capable of.

Reading air currents, for example. His hairs stiffened, detecting a displacement in the air nearby, a displacement a lot like…what happened when many wings were flapping at once… "They're over there!" Wes cried, eyes shooting open. "Follow me!" He dashed off into the fog.

"Uh, assuming we can find you…" Gonzap said as he and Zoro did their best to chase after Wes. It didn't take them long to find him, however, soon they could see the red light as well, and when they got closer were able to tell what was causing it.

"Those are Noctowl!" Zoro cried, seeing a group of big owls hovering around one of the engines, focusing the bright red beams of their Foresight on it so that a small crew of Delibird clambering around the nacelle, careful not to get caught in any of the turbines, could see what they were doing.

"And some of Santa's little helpers! The hell're they doing here?!" Gonzap shouted to be heard over the roar of the spinning turbine.

"Whatever it is, it stops now!" Wes yelled, eyes glowing as he used his telekinetic powers to yank one of the Delibirds off the engine and throw him at his neighbor, knocking both of them off and causing the other birds to realize they were being attacked.

The Delibirds frantically tried to scramble to safety as the Noctowl turned, shining their Foresight beams on the trio, and turned up the brightness as they tried using Hypnosis. It didn't work, especially when they didn't have any heads thanks to Zoro and Gonzap slicing them off with sword and Steel Wing. The remaining couple of owls panicked and tried to fly away, but Wes telekinetically grabbed them, slammed them into each other, and smashed them against the deck until they stopped moving. "Funny," the Espeon commented once everything was quiet again (save for the hum of the engine). "I was expecting someone to get sucked into the turbine. That always happens in movies."

"Guess those stupid birds were smart enough not to fall in," Gonzap said.

"You realize that you're a bird too, right?" Zoro pointed out.

"Yeah, but I'm on your side. Just goes to show you I'm smarter than they are, doesn't it?" Gonzap said smugly.

"The Delibird got away…what were they up to?" Wes wondered.

"They were doing something to the engine…let's see what it was," Zoro said. They cautiously advanced towards the engine, the whirr of its spinning blades nearly deafening them the closer they got to it. Much to their surprise, they found about half a dozen boxes wrapped in colored paper and tied with ribbons strapped to the sides of the nacelle.

"They left us gifts? What, are they kissing up to us to apologize for attacking our ride or something?" asked a confused Wes.

Gonzap's eyes widened in horror. "Either Christmas has come early this year…or we're _seriously _fucked. Those aren't gifts…those are PRESENTS!"

Zoro and Wes gasped…and then exchanged confused looks. "Uh, what's the difference?" Wes asked.

"Are they not synonyms of each other?" Zoro agreed. Gonzap facefaulted.

Down on the deck, Lobo and El Toro had stumbled over another bunch of presents. Literally. "Who's the _idiota_ who left all this _desperdicios_ (junk) lying around?!" Lobo snarled, kicking away the box he had just tripped over.

"Wasn't it your turn to clean the deck?" El Toro asked.

"I was going to do it later! How was I supposed to know we were going to get attacked today?!" Lobo growled angrily.

"I wonder where these things came from…and why are they placed in heaps above the cannon emplacements?" El Toro wondered.

Lobo frowned, ears twitching. "And why do I hear a ticking sound coming from them?"

There was a long silence as realization slowly dawned on them. They exchanged almost comic looks of horror, then started running as fast as they could, screams rising up their throats. Naturally, they tripped and fell on their faces before they made it five feet. "I hate this fog," Lobo groaned.

"Me too," El Toro agreed.

And that's when the Presents detonated. Explosions wracked the _Espada_ as the bombs the Delibirds had planted all over the vessel under the cover of the Mist went off at once, destroying the cannons, blasting off the blade on the ship's prow, and ripping most of the engines to shreds. The crew screamed and fell to the floor, grabbing onto whatever securely fastened object they could find as the ship violently shook and began descending at an alarming rate, smoke and flames trailing it as it fell through the bottom of the Mist cloud, much to the delight of the birds watching from afar, who cheered and laughed and licked their beaks in delight at the feast that would ensue over the remains of the unnatural machine's passengers. _Oh, the Pokemonity,_ Tyson thought sullenly, regretting the part he had played in orchestrating this tragedy. The things he did for Team Rocket…

Redwing cackled. "Well done, lads! That abomination will never fly again! However, there's a chance that they might actually survive the crash…so let's finish them off and show them why we are the rightful rulers of the skies!"

The other birds cheered and screeched at this, and, knowing what to do from at least a dozen other similar battles against airships, formed up into a large vertical feathery wall facing the sinking vessel. In unison, they began to flap their wings, slowly at first but picking up speed until each of their appendages moved so fast that they blurred. The wind from their wingbeats swirled in front of them, growing larger and larger as they channeled more air currents into it until it turned into an absolutely enormous Whirlwind that roared and twisted down to the ground, its tail knocking over trees and sucking large chunks of the forest and a few Pokemon too slow to get out of the way in time into its towering mass. With one final many-winged flap, they forced the Whirlwind away from them, the tornado swirling inexorably towards the doomed _Espada_, the winds inside it spiraling with such force that it would rip the airship to smithereens the instant it touched it. The ship's crew stared at the Whirlwind in terror, realizing this was the end…

Until a streak of red and white light shot through the air, stopping between the Whirlwind and the _Espada_ and resolving into the deified figure of Latias_._ "Stop," Latias said, eyes glowing as she looked sternly at the twister.

The Whirlwind halted in front of her and dissipated. The debris that had been swept up in its wake plummeted back to the forest floor. The beaks of every bird in Redwing's flock dropped in disbelief. "W-WHAT?!" Redwing shouted. "HOW DID SHE…HOW DARE SHE…_WHO _IS SHE?!"

_Isn't that Latias?_ Tyson thought to himself, recalling pictures he'd seen of the Eon dragon in briefings. _She looks…different somehow. I didn't know she could do something like that. What's she doing here?_

"Uh, hey, whoever you are, I don't know how you did that but could you give us a hand too?" Wes shouted from where he was clinging to the top of the envelope.

"We're still sort of falling!" Zoro agreed.

"A little help would be nice!" Gonzap said.

Latias glanced over her shoulder at the _Espada_ and gave them a reassuring smile_._ "Of course I'll help you. I came here to rescue you. It wouldn't do for me to let you crash, now would it?" Her eyes glowed. The wounded ship abruptly stopped falling, without the abrupt jolt you would expect from a sudden halt. The fires blazing all over the _Espada_ extinguished themselves. The destroyed cannons, engines, and prow blade magically reconstructed themselves, time seeming to reverse as the scattered pieces of the ship flew backwards off the ground and through the air, reassembling themselves while the amazed crew looked on in wonder. The vessel slowly rose back into the air, supported entirely by Latias's telekinetic power.

"Is she doing all this by herself?! _Increible!_" Rosa gasped as she pried her flowers from their death's grip around the ship's wheel.

"I didn't know that any Psychic was powerful enough to lift something this size under her own mental power, and make it look so easy, too!" Rui said as she picked herself off the floor. "Wes certainly can't! Though he'd probably love to."

"Mon, I'd love to be able to do something like this," Wes said, looking around at the miraculously levitating airship.

"So would I…then I could pick up the really heavy chicks!" Gonzap quipped. Wes and Zoro stared at him. Gonzap frowned. "It's a pun, I was referring both to how that dragon is 'picking up' our ship as well as how I would 'pick up' womon-"

"We got it the first time," Wes said. "We were just so appalled that you'd make such an awful pun we couldn't think of anything to say."

Zoro nodded. "It was really _terrible._"

Gonzap sighed. "I know, but somebody had to say it ever since your mutt friend lost his sex drive and his repository of pickup lines and entendres!"

On the deck beneath them, Lobo sneezed. "Someone is talking about how I've become sexually unmotivated," the Mightyena said with a sigh.

"Well, doesn't that dragon over there turn you on a little? I think she's kind of _lindo _(cute)," El Toro said.

"Eh, I prefer hairier _senoritas_," Lobo grunted. Sasha flashed through his mind, and he shuddered. "Or at least, I _used_ to…"

"Dragon! Who are you who dares to interfere in our kill?! Those fools were polluting my airspace with the foul technology of that unnatural device! It was within my right as ruler of the skies to punish them with death!" the enraged Redwing croaked at Latias.

Latias frowned. "They did not know this place was your territory and meant you no harm. There is no reason for you to want them dead."

"There's every reason!" Redwing shouted furiously. "They are an affront to nature! Only those with wings or who are born with a Flying type belong in the air! For lowly land-crawling Pokemon to design mechanisms that allow them to leave their habitat and intrude into the domain of their betters is nothing short of an abomination and a perversion of the natural order!"

"An affront to nature? Science is _part_ of nature, and operates on natural laws, much like magic," Latias countered. "Unless it causes major atmospheric or environmental damage—which this ship wouldn't have, it runs on clean fuel—it wasn't a threat to you until you decided it was. Falling back on that old excuse and claiming you're only trying to preserve the natural order is really just a way of saying that since you're in charge you can do whatever you want and your will is 'the way things should be.'"

"But of course it is! Might makes right, and I am the strongest here! It's the law of the wild!" Redwing shot back.

Latias smirked. She had seen waaaayyy too many of these types over the length of her career. All of them were pretty much exactly the same, and could be dealt with just as easily as any other. "Then does that mean if something stronger than you came along, you would no longer be in charge?"

"No, because I would kill them, proving my own strength and my right to be leader!" Redwing shrieked. "I am ruler of the skies! None can best me! Even your master Rayquaza fears me, for why else would he not have struck me down by now for all his slaves whom I have slain?"

"Maybe because he had more important things to do, like, say, ruling an enormous world-spanning empire?" Latias suggested innocently.

Redwing spluttered, face turning as red as his wings. "More important? _More important?!_ I've been killing his subjects and disrupting his trade routes for ages! What's more important than dealing with the threat I represent?! I've united the feuding bird tribes of Kanjohenn and created the largest army of Flying Pokemon the continent has ever seen!"

"Yeah, _this _continent. Did it ever occur to you that there are even _larger_ barbarian armies disrupting trade routes and killing people on the other side of the world that Rayquaza has to deal with, attacking cities under his protection? Or the endless roulette of politics as he tries to keep the rulers of vassal and allied states appeased and going to war with each other or with him? I'll admit you're on his list of things to do, but you're a lot lower down than you might think," Latias said, taking a perverse enjoyment in how Redwing grew redder and redder with fury. More than a few of the other birds were moving away from him, afraid he would (metaphorically or actually) explode. "Oh, and they weren't slaves. The Draconian Empire doesn't have any of those. Every dragon you killed had a home somewhere, all the rights that come with Imperial citizenship, a rather nice pension, and families who were very upset to hear about their relatives whom you killed. Not that you care about that sort of thing, but I thought I should bring it up. Speaking of which, what makes you think I serve Rayquaza, anyway"

"You're a dragon who's come here to put a stop to my actions and presumably punish me for the 'crimes' I've committed against your pitiful civilization," Redwing sneered. "Why else would you be here? Maybe I'm higher up that list of things to do than you think! Why else would you be here?"

Latias had to admit his logic was sound, even if it was wrong. "You're half-right. I _have_ come here to put a stop to your tyranny and preying on helpless Pokemon. However, I serve a power greater even than Rayquaza, and if you do not heed my warning I will not hesitate to use that power against you. Disband your flock and stop harassing travelers and local Pokemon, and forfeit your plans to invade Pokemon Square, and I will let you leave in peace. Refuse, and I will not hesitate to put an end to you."

"An end to me? Really? You mean you're willing to take on me and my entire flock all by yourself?" Redwing sneered, amused by Latias's threats, as was the rest of the flock, who laughed to show how little they thought of the dragon's threats. Tyson didn't join them. If Latias was able to stop an airship from falling and dissipate a twister without visibly exerting herself very much, she was probably capable of defeating them all easily. Naturally, he didn't bring this up because he was next in line to lead the flock, and if Redwing were to die in some tragic accident, he'd be able to use his influence to turn the birds towards a different goal, like, say, assisting Team Rocket…

"I will take you all on, if I have to," Latias said calmly. The passengers in the ship behind her were impressed by how the prospect didn't seem to worry her in the slightest.

Redwing smirked. "You're either very sure of yourself or an imbecile…not that there's much of a difference! If you think you can defeat us, I welcome the challenge…Rayquaza has sent his strongest dragons against us, and we feasted on their entrails with ease! There are none who can best me in the air! I am ruler of the skies!"

Latias rolled her eyes. "Those weren't his strongest dragons, you idiot. Rayquaza sent those to deal with a much greater threat to some of his protectorates on the other side of the globe. The only reason Nuken hasn't had the legions wipe you from the face of the Earth by now is because of political delays and the logistics of moving a large body of troops from one place to another without pissing off or worrying too many of the locals the Empire's allied with. You should be grateful that I came rather than him…at least I'll make sure your death is quick and relatively painless, not that you deserve it." Redwing's beak dropped, as did the rest of his flock. Nobody had ever spoken to Redwing like this before. Nobody had dared. How was the red and white dragon not dead yet several times over for the insults and lies she was spewing? "You may claim to be ruler of the skies, unrecognizing the authority of the Draconian Empire, the laws and benefits of civilization, or the power that I serve, but you must admit there is at least one force that even you cannot stand against."

Redwing laughed to try and hide how unnerved Latias was starting to make him, as did his warriors, save the worried Tyson. "Preposterous! None can best me! What force do you think could conquer the mighty Redwing?"

Latias smiled and held up her claws. In each hand she was holding a long, red-dyed feather. "Gravity," she said.

Redwing blinked…and realization dawned on him when he felt a sharp pain in his wings. Rather abruptly, he started falling. He flapped his wings frantically, shedding feathers all over the place, but it was no use, Latias had somehow removed his flight feathers, the feathers all birds needed to fly or even glide through the air, and without them he was as flight-capable as a Hippowdown. (One that wasn't being carried by a helicopter, anyway.) To his credit, though he shouted and cursed, he did not beg for mercy or call for help, he believed in the philosophy of might makes right and fly or die to the very end. He was no longer the mightiest or capable of flight, so it was only natural for him to die.

His followers looked on in horror as he vanished into the greenery far below them. None of them lifted a talon to save him. They would not have tried to help each other, and so did not budge to help their doomed leader; he had drilled any concept of mercy out of them ages ago (Sometimes literally). They were, however, perfectly fine with avenging his death, and they started screeching and flapping their wings angrily as they prepared to attack Latias, who still didn't look particularly concerned. Rather, she glanced right at Tyson, as if she somehow knew exactly who and what he really was and what he was up to. A chill ran down his spine as he suddenly realized that this was exactly the case. And he knew exactly what was expected of him, too. "Fall back!" he shouted.

The rest of the flock fumbled in mid-flap. Some of them nearly fell, but managed to catch themselves at the last instant. "Fall back?" a confused Pidgeotto said.

"You mean _retreat?_" a Staraptor realized.

"Redwing's flock never retreats!" a Hoothoot cried.

"Yes, but this isn't Redwing's flock anymore!" Tyson growled. "Redwing is dead! I, Tyson, am leader now! And I say we fall back! Our vengeance can wait for another day."

"But…but we can take her!" a Pelipper protested.

"Take her? You fool! She defeated Redwing, the strongest of all of us! What chance do we have?" Tyson snarled.

"But there's more of us than there is of her!" a Honchkrow pointed out.

Latias smiled. "Oh, well if it's numbers that you're worried about…" Her form blurred. Several dozen pinpoints of light flew off her body and transformed into exact replicas above her. There were now at least fifty or sixty Latiases facing down the understandably alarmed group of barbarian birds.

"Th-those are probably just illusions," a Dodrio said, sounding like he was trying very hard to convince himself of this. "They can't hurt us!"

"She was able to get rid of a giant Whirlwind, stop a falling airship, and defeat Redwing by stealing his flight feathers, without moving, _while we were all watching her._ Do you really want to take that risk?" Tyson asked. The birds looked at each other anxiously. None of them wanted to admit that they were scared—to do so would be a death sentence!—but none of them were especially looking forward to fighting someone as powerful as this mystery dragon, either. "We fly or we die," Tyson said. "That is our motto. If we go up against her now, we will surely die. I don't know about the rest of you, but I would rather fly away so that I will live to fight another day." Before his new hencmon could think too much on this, he addressed Latias again. "Do not think this is over between us, dragon! What you see now is but a fraction of our true strength. When we finally launch our attack on Pokemon Square, our numbers will be so vast that our wings will blot out the sun!"

Latias nodded, reading the subtext of Tyson's warning. "I'll keep that in mind and pass it on to the people of Pokemon Square, so that they will know who they should fear."

Tyson grinned. "See that you do, dragon…when next we meet in the skies of battle, things will be different!" He screeched, pivoted, and flew away. The other birds exchanged uncertain looks. Then, not wanting to look like they weren't team players, they slowly turned to go after him, shouting feeble threats and parting barbs at Latias as they departed to try and assuage their fragile egos and convince themselves they weren't being utter spineless cowards.

"They certainly will be…" Latias murmured to herself, her doubles vanishing. _I can imagine the others will be interested to know that Mr. Giovanni is the leader of a secret organization called Team Rocket that's dedicated to world domination, but also trying to save Pokemon Square and the rest of the planet from the Nihilators and their minions._ She chuckled. _Giovanni and Team Rocket…some things never change no matter what the universe, do they? Too bad Tyson didn't seem to know where that crafty Persian's hiding or what exactly this 'Project T' thing he's working on entails, his clearance isn't high enough. At least one thing's for sure…when the barbarians _do_ launch their attack, it's good to know that one faction may not be trying to destroy us, assuming Tyson can persuade his flock to change targets in time…of course, then we'll have to deal with them working for _another_ secret society with aspirations of ruling the world, but the fact that the Team Rocket on this world doesn't seem to be nearly as evil as most of the other incarnations I've run into is a good sign. Maybe they can be reasoned with. They'd certainly come in handy, considering how limited my power is at the moment…because when the big day comes, I'm not sure if I _will_ be able to beat everyone who's coming for Pokemon Square. Not by myself, anyway._ She frowned and turned to face the _Espada._ _But that's something to worry about later. Right now I have other things to deal with. _"Are you all okay?" she asked the crew telepathically.

"We're a little battered from the explosions and the near-fall, but all of us are okay up here," Gonzap reported.

"Wes got a bad hit, but he's already healed himself with Morning Sun," Zoro said.

Wes nodded. "Yeah, I'm feeling fine now, though a little winded."

"We could be better," a rather blackened and singed El Toro coughed.

"We got caught in one of the explosions…" Lobo groaned. "It really hurt…"

"Not for long, it won't," Latias said. Her eyes glowed.

Just like that, all the Tauros and Mightyena's wounds were miraculously healed. "_Dios mio!"_ El Toro gasped.

"How did you do that? I'm immune to most Psychic abilities, even healing moves!" said the astonished Lobo.

"Let's just say I'm a little more than Psychic and leave it at that," Latias said.

"Mon, that was an awesome display of Psychic power and thievery back there! You stole that big bird's feathers right out from under his beak, while all of us were watching you! How did you do that?" Wes asked.

"I moved at the speed of light, so to the untrained eye it wouldn't seem as if I'd moved at all," Latias explained.

"Cool," said an incredibly impressed and jealous Wes.

"Could you teach me to move that fast?" Zoro asked eagerly.

Latias shook her head. "Sorry, but no. You don't have the right body type. Or experience." _Or divinity._

"_Gracias_ for saving us, but…just who are you, anyway?" Rosa asked.

"And who are you working for?" Rui asked, somewhat suspicious.

"I came here from Pokemon Square to rescue you. I'm a friend of Ash and Pikachu's. They told us you were coming," Latias explained.

"Oh, so you're the welcoming committee!" Wes realized.

"Much friendlier than the first bunch to greet us to this continent," Gonzap grumbled. "What took you so long? We almost bit it back there!"

"Is everyone in Pokemon Square as powerful as you are? If so, I'm not certain what good Pokemon like us would be in the impending battle," Zoro commented.

"You'll be more useful than you think," Latias said. "Come on, I'll escort you to Pokemon Square. There are a lot of people who want to talk to you."

"So long as they just want to talk…I don't think I have it in me for another fight right now," Lobo complained.

"I hope they at least have something to eat! I'm _hambriento_ (famished)!" El Toro said.

"Then I'll get you there in time for dinner. Hang on, this shouldn't take too long." Latias started flying south in the direction of Pokemon Square, telekinetically tugging the airship behind her with a minimum of effort. The Pokemon onboard marveled at how gentle the ride was, considering how fast the air speedometer said they were going and how quickly the forests and mountains passed by underneath them.

"You never gave us your name," Rui spoke up.

"Si, who are you? And how do you possess such power?" Rosa asked.

Latias smiled. "You can call me Latias. I'm the Guardian of Light!"

Back in Pokemon Square, Latios's eyes stopped glowing, and the images he had been projecting around him of the world as his sister saw it faded away. "Wow," he said after a moment of silence. "That was actually pretty slick."

"Indeed," Sabrina said.

Raiki nodded in agreement. "I was expecting her to go in there and bust some heads, making us feel very inferior in comparison. What she did instead was much more impressive. And while I think it's clear she could have taken them, the fact that she found a subtler and more cunning way to win shows her maturity and level of control."

"Though I wonder…why _did_ she let them live? Won't they cause us problems later?" Aaron pointed out.

Nuken nodded in agreement. "Yes, while I'm pleased she finally killed Redwing, I'm not as happy that she left the rest of his flock intact. They've been causing us trouble for ages, and as she herself pointed out, the only reason we haven't dealt with them by now was mainly for political and logistical reasons. But she had the opportunity to avoid the red tape and finish them off without having to worry about that…so why didn't she?"

"She must've had her reasons," Rayquaza said defensively.

Latios nodded, in perfect agreement with the Bagon for a change and not revealing what troubled him: that while he had been able to see what Latias was seeing, he had not been privy to her thoughts, which he usually was when they were sight-sharing, or pretty much any other time for that matter. Was she shutting him out? If so, why? "Yeah. And as soon as she gets back, we'll ask her what those are."

"If she'll tell us…" Scotty grunted doubtfully. "The gods dinnae always feel like explaining themselves to us mortals."

"She seems fairly nice for a deity," Joy said. "Other than the reading everyone's minds automatically thing, but she can't help that. I think."

Aaron nodded. "I think she's demonstrated that she is a being we can count on to help us. Pokemon Square will be in much safer claws now that she is here."

"Especially once we find a way to restore her to her full power," Sabrina said.

_That's good and all,_ Rayquaza thought to himself uneasily. _And I'm glad for her help, but…the more powerful she becomes, the more she seems to slip away from me. How long until there is nothing left of the Latias I cared for, and only the unreachable perfection of the Guardian of Light remains?_

…

Elsewhere…

The people of Pokemon Square were not the only ones who had observed the Guardian's encounter with Redwing's flock from afar. This watcher, however, had much more sinister motives for taking an interest in her actions.

"Hmm…" a cloaked figure mused to himself as he watched Latias tow the _Espada_ back towards Pokemon Square through his scrying crystal. "This is unexpected. She awoke sooner than I had planned, with more power than I anticipated. And she almost defeated one of the barbarian armies preparing to lay siege against Pokemon Square, though I am uncertain why she let them live. It certainly would have made things easier for her and her friends in the long run." He shrugged and turned away. "I shall have to take measures to see that she does not destroy the Monkey King or Hive Queen's armies…and make sure that she does not regain any more of her power. That would be rather…unfortunate." He laughed, and the image in the crystal went out, casting the hidden lair into darkness.

…

Meanwhile, in Dusk Forest…

The members of Team Rocket were lying on the ground, slowly recovering from the agonizing pain caused by their robot self-destructing, blasting them through the roof of the crumbling crypt, and crashing them somewhere in the middle of the forest. Blasting off was something that happened to them a lot, but that didn't make it hurt any less each time they landed, especially since it was usually in a very hard place.

"Chiiiii…" squealed a dazed Chimecho.

"Uhh…that hurt…" Gardenia groaned.

"Blowing up usually does," Buzz moaned.

"Why did we think that would be such a good idea again?" Jessie grunted in pain.

"Well, it worked, didn't it?" James said as he staggered to his feet. "We saved Mickey, right?...Hey, where is Mickey?"

"Don't look at me!" Mickey cried, hiding behind a tree far away from the others. "I'm a monster! A horrible monster!"

"Oh come on, it's not that bad-" Jessie said, until Mickey poked his head out, causing her to scream and throw up.

"That's not really helping," Gardenia said.

"Well, is it my fault he's so horrendously ugly?!" Jessie snapped.

"That's not helping either," Wabbaku said.

"Oh, shut up, both of you," she growled.

"Mickey, come out from there! You have nothing to be scared of; we rescued you from that awful witch!" James said. "You're safe now!"

"Nothing ta be scared of?! Look at what she did to me!" Mickey cried, coming out from behind the tree and causing them to cringe when they got a good look at how much he had transformed. "Da witch turned me inta a demon!"

"Mickey…" James whispered, taking a step forward.

Mickey backed away, shaking his head. "No, don't come any closer! I'm a demon now! We were too late! It's all over for me now!"

"I don't care!" James shouted, starting to cry. "No matter how awful you look now, you're still my Mickey! I refuse to give up on you!"

"Give up?! Don't you get it? You've already lost! My transformation is complete!" Mickey wailed. "I don't belong in dis world anymore, wit da rest of you…I'm an evil monster dat feeds off the suffering of others! I became dis because Bellum tricked me inta drinking da ground-up bodies of an entire village of innocent people…something like me belongs in da Abyss wit da rest of da wicked demons!"

"Ew," said a disgusted Jessie.

"That's even worse than the jar of dirt!" Buzz commented.

"No! I don't care what you did, but I know you don't belong there! You're too good for a place like that!" James shouted.

"Well, more like he's not bad enough, because we're all sort of evil, just not…you know, very much," Gardenia pointed out.

Wabbaku nodded. "As villains go, we're bottom of the barrel. Or would that be the top?"

Jessie smacked both of them with a wing. "Shut up, both of you! James and Mickey are having a moment!"

"I don't care what you are or what you've become…to me, you're still Mickey! And I love you!" James wailed.

"I know!" Mickey sobbed, bursting into tears which melted the ground. "And dat's why I haveta go away…I don't want ta hurt you, and if I stay, dat's what I'll end up doing!"

"You could never hurt me!" James protested.

Mickey sweatdropped. "Uh, Jimmy, I'm covered in spikes, got lots of claws, teeth, acid drool, too many mouths…it's not exactly like we could hug or kiss or anything like dat. And I don't even wanna go into what happened ta Little Mickey."

James frowned. "Oh. That…is a problem." The others sweatdropped.

"And den dere's da fact dat, as a demon, I'm gonna be driven to kill and hurt odder people! So I have ta go now, while I'm still me…before my demonic instincts kick in and I rip ya ta shreds! I could never live wit myself if I did dat…dat's why I haveta go, before it's too late!" Mickey said, backing away from them. "Goodbye, Jimmy…I'll always remember da good times we had! Until my demonic instincts kick in and I forget, dat is."

"Mickey! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" James wailed in despair, falling to his knees.

"Yes, you're being a little premature and melodramatic," Wabbaku said, stepping forward. "You see, it isn't too late. You're not actually a demon yet."

Everyone looked at him in surprise. "He's not?" James asked hopefully.

"I'm not?" asked the surprised Mickey.

"He certainly looks like a demon to me," Buzz said.

"Are you sure, Wabbaku?" Jessie said skeptically.

"Of course he is! Wabbaku knows what he's talking about!" Gardenia said loyally.

"I'm not a demon? But…but look at me! Look at what I've become! Isn't it already too late?" asked a confused Mickey.

"Not so. Check your right armpit," Wabbaku said.

Mickey blinked and lifted his arm. "Huh? Okay, but I don't see why…hey! Dere's still some fur growing under dere!"

Gardenia gasped. "Oh! I see!"

"So do I!" James said, jumping up and down giddily.

"Er, so what?" Jessie asked, not getting it. "That just means he needs to shave more."

"If Mickey had been completely transformed into a demon, his body would be totally covered in spiny scales," Wabbaku explained. "However, a patch of fur remains in that one spot. That means that his metamorphosis, while sped up by Bellum, is not yet finished. If we can gather the remaining ingredients before the demonic taint completely engulfs Mickey's soul, we can reverse the process and change him back to normal."

Jessie gasped. "Oh! Now I get it!"

"Den I'm not through yet? Yippee!" the delighted Mickey cheered, flinging his arms out and accidentally knocking a tree over. "Uh, whoops. Didn't mean to do dat."

"Oh, Mickey, this is wonderful!" James cried joyfully. "I'd hug you, except that I'd probably kill myself!"

"How much time do we have before his transformation is complete?" Gardenia asked.

"Not long, but I can arrest or slow down the process like I did before so we have more of a chance at saving him," Wabbaku said.

"Right! So, guess dat means I get to eat more dirt, huh?" Mickey asked hopefully. The others gave him disgusted looks. "What? You get used to it!"

Wabbaku shook his head and reached into his pouch. "Oh no, my friend, the time for dirt is long past. The only thing that can stabilize your transformation now is…this."

Mickey stared blankly at the thing the shaman pulled out. It was tall and wide with lots of weird protrusions and stripes crisscrossing over each other in jarringly colored patterns that made the eyes water, with all sorts of doodads like wind chimes and metal disks and pinwheels and sparklers dangling from it. "Dat's a hat."

"And a particularly ugly one, too," James said.

"It is a spirit hat," Wabbaku explained. "By wearing it, Mickey will attract the attention of the spirits, and their presence will suppress the evil growing within him long enough for us to finish the antidote."

"How exactly is that going to attract the spirits?" Buzz asked skeptically.

"Because it's so ridiculous that they will come for miles to point and laugh at the idiot who thought he would look good in something this fashion-blind," Wabbaku explained.

"That makes sense," James said.

"I certainly would," Jessie agreed.

Mickey grimaced. "Do I really gotta wear dis? Can't I just eat dirt? Or get painted all over again?"

"No," Wabbaku said. "Your transformation has progressed too far past the point where those could help. It's either this, or nothing."

Mickey sighed. "All right, all right." Reluctantly, he walked over, took the hat from Wabbaku, and put it on his head. "Well? How do I look?" Everyone stared at him for several seconds before bursting into raucous laughter. Mickey sighed, making a rather musical sound due to all the mouths the air came out of. "Yeah, dat's what I thought…"

"Sorry," James said, wiping away tears of mirth. "You just look so ridiculous…I couldn't help myself! Bwahahaha!"

"And neither can…ahahahaha…the spirits," Wabbaku chortled. "So long as you wear that, you shouldn't have to worry about turning into a demon. Even more than you are already, that is."

Mickey grunted. "So, where do we gotta go for da next ingredient? Da sooner we can turn me back to normal, da sooner I can take dis thing off."

"Wabbaku, before Bellum attacked you said it was some seaweed in a sunken city somewhere?" Gardenia recalled.

Wabbaku nodded. "Yes. To retrieve the plant, we must journey to the bottom of the ocean, to the forbidden ruins of the lost city of Hyperbeamoria. It will be a dangerous voyage, due to the crushing pressure, the almost solid darkness, and the city itself, which contains things Pokemon were never meant to see."

They shuddered. "You mean eldritch abominations with tentacles and eyes and too many mouths?" Mickey asked anxiously. "Er, sort of like me, I guess…"

"And ancient gods sleeping until the time when the stars are right and they will rise up to destroy the world?" James asked.

"Like Jessie?" Gardenia quipped.

"HEY!" Jessie snapped.

Wabbaku shook his head gravely. "No, things far worse than that…bad artwork!"

They stared at him blankly. "Bad artwork?" Buzz asked finally.

Wabbaku nodded. "Yes, art so bad it makes you throw up or try to claw your eyes out just from looking at it, art that the gods were embarrassed and angered by so they destroyed the city to punish its citizens for creating such travesties. Everyone was relieved when the city sank, frankly. Then they didn't have to look at the awful art or mind-warping architecture anymore."

The others sweatdropped. "Ah," James said.

"It shouldn't be anything for us to worry about, though," Wabbaku said. "The spirits will protect me, Mickey's mostly demon so should actually like the art, and the rest of you…ah…are immune for your own reasons." _Mainly, being too stupid to comprehend the full horror of the art_, he thought to himself. _Well, except maybe for Gardenia. Hmm. Maybe I should give her something in advance, just in case._

"I don't suppose there's any sunken treasure in this lost city?" Jessie asked hopefully.

Wabbaku shrugged. "There might be. It's not like anyone really goes down there, due both to the depth and the fact that most archaeologists like to pretend Hyperbeamoria was a myth rather than a real place, because if it were real then they'd be obligated to go down there and deal with the horrible artwork. So any treasure that was in the city when it sank should still be there, though whether you'll want it is debatable. The best of the masterpieces that city created is still uglier than Mickey's hat."

Their minds boggled at this concept. "…Whoa. Seriously?" Gardenia asked.

"Is that even possible?" James wondered.

"Chiiii," Chimecho chimed.

"Well, on da bright side, I'll look positively stylish in comparison when we go down dere," Mickey said optimistically.

"That's no real problem, I'm sure I'll be able to find a buyer somewhere if I don't want to keep the treasure for myself or give it to the Boss," Jessie said unworriedly. "There's always someone somewhere who'll want something like that for their collection, no matter how it looks. Just look at James's bottle cap collection, most of those things are average if not completely mundane."

"They are _not _mundane!" James shouted, offended. "They all have their own inner value! Some people would pay millions of Poke' for the rare caps in my collection!"

"My point exactly," Jessie said smugly. "So, let's set out for this lost city! Mickey, you're hanging from the underside of the basket again."

"What? Why?!" Mickey protested.

"Because you're so prickly the balloon would probably pop if you so much as looked at it," Jessie said flatly.

Mickey sweatdropped. "Good point. Oh well, at least I can wash myself again. But…" He frowned and looked down at his spiny hide. "How'm I supposed ta lick myself without cutting my tongue off?"

"A question for the ages. Not even the spirits know," Wabbaku said sagely. Gardenia shivered with delight. She loved it when he talked all wisemon-ish like that. "What they do know is that we must hurry to find that seaweed and the other final ingredients, for if Mickey's transformation into a demon is completed…I doubt any of us will ever live to see the sunrise again, as he unleashes a new age of terror and destruction upon the land."

"Like what would happen if disco came back?" James asked.

Wabbaku's eye twitched. "Yes, James. Exactly like disco coming back." _The day I leave this all behind can't come fast enough. Spirits, how much longer must I endure this before I can finally go home?_ No answer was forthcoming. As he himself had said just a moment ago, not even the spirits knew everything.

…

Meanwhile, in Twilight's Edge…

As she lay in the great mound of rubble and debris that had once been Yamatorochi's temple, the stone and tile 'cushioning' her landing after being hurled out of the inferno that her family's tomb had been transformed into, Bellum reflected that she really hadn't been having a good last few weeks. First she got beaten by a neophyte Lucario and a _space heater_ of all things, then Tarantulas discovered another Star Badge by dumb luck while she was out scouring the continent the hard way, then her own _daughter _had somehow managed to escape her, and now a potential demon servitor had slipped out of her grasp, her family crypt had been completely destroyed, and she had been defeated by a bunch of suicidal idiots in a giant robot Typhlosion. _How did it come to this?_ She wondered. _I'm one of the most powerful sorceresses on the planet! What have I done to warrant such humiliation?!_ (The answer was obvious, of course, but not to her.)

With a grunt, she managed to pull herself out of the rubble heap and unsteadily rose back into the air. _Well,_ she reflected as she regained her composure. _Things haven't been going as planned so far, but there might still be _one_ good thing to come out of all this._ "Marianne!" she shouted.

A bolt of lightning shot down from the heavens, crashing down next to Bellum and manifesting as the abnormally large Rotom that was Bellum's eldest daughter. "Bzzzzz?"

"Never mind what happened to me, how did your search go? Did you find Lily and make her suffer horribly for trying to escape me?" the Froslass asked eagerly. The Rotom fidgeted uncomfortably. "Well? Go on, tell me everything! I want to hear all the details!"

"…Bzzzbzbzbzzzbzzbz," Marianne buzzed miserably.

Bellum stared. "…What? WHAT?! YOU _DIDN'T _FIND HER?!"

"Bzbzbzbzzzzbzbzbzzzbzzz!" Marianne protested.

This did not mollify Bellum in the slightest. Icy winds blew furiously around her as she summoned an icicle spear and angrily started stabbing Marianne repeatedly, the Rotom screaming in pain as the lance pierced her electroplasmic body again and again. "You worthless, stupid, useless waste of ectoplasm! You were waylaid by _DARK CLEFAIRIES_ of all creatures?! You mean to tell me that you could not defeat creatures as weak as they?! You mean to tell me that Lily is missing, my family tomb has been destroyed, and I lost a potential new minion and got defeated by some idiots with a giant mecha, meaning that our entire trip here was a waste of time and I was blown up for NOTHING?! You _dare _to come crawling back to me after such a defeat and expect me to forgive you?! You pathetic, incompetent, miserable failure of a-" Some of the rocks nearby shifted, interrupting her tirade. Bellum paused. "What was that?"

"Bzzzz?" Marianne suggested.

Bellum smacked her. "Don't be ridiculous."

Pebbles rattled and moved aside as several hundred tiny wriggling pink droplets of slime worked their way out of the ground and slowly started converging on each other. Bellum and Marianne watched in fascination as the droplets melded together into one large blob, creating a Ditto with a strange mark under one eye. The Ditto moaned and clutched his…well, the closest thing he had to a head. "Oh man, that hurt…I don't think I've ever gotten hit that hard before. Note to self, don't acquire the DNA of supernatural creatures in the future. It leads to potential loss of identity and getting your head chopped off by a magic sword." He frowned. "And if I ever see that Lucario, Pikachu, Squirtle, Absol, Larvitar, Sableye, and Misdreavus with a funny hat again…I'll run like hell, because they're wayyyyy too strong for me to beat."

Bellum and Marianne exchanged looks. The Froslass vanished her spear and glided over to the Ditto. "Excuse me…"

The Ditto started. "Ack! Who the heck are you?!"

Bellum grinned sinisterly, thinking to herself that perhaps this incident hadn't been a waste of time after all. "My name is Bellum, mistress of the winter winds. And I believe you know something I would very much like to hear about. Tell me about this group of Pokemon who defeated you…_especially_ the Misdreavus with a funny hat..."

…

Meanwhile, somewhere _else_ in Dusk Forest…

Sam, Max, Jango, and Master Otaku roared out of the woods, hitting the brakes and bringing the DeSoto and Coffin Cycle to a screaming halt on the edge of a large ornate circle that had been etched into the ground. Among other runes and symbols representing the sun were five smaller circles, four on the outer rim of the spell seal and one big one in the center with an oblong hexagonal outline in the middle. Master Otaku hopped off the Coffin Cycle as Jango put it into park and took off his helmet, floating over to the central circle. "Quickly! We must purify Jurgen before his zombie minions catch up to us!"

"I doubt we have anything to worry about, we left them behind miles ago!" Max commented. They heard moans and smashing trees from somewhere in the distance. "But just to be safe, let's get this over with quickly."

"Bring the coffin into the circle!" Otaku ordered.

Sam got out of the car and dragged a large Gothic coffin out of the DeSoto's back seat, grunting due to its weight. "Ugh…considering how skinny Jurgen is, you wouldn't think he'd be so heavy."

"I heard zat!" the vampire's muffled voice shouted from inside the coffin. "I am not ze fatty, you are ze one who is out of shape! Oh, and by ze vay, LET ME OUT OF HERE!" He banged on the lid of the coffin, causing it to rattle despite the several dozen nails that had been driven into it to keep it closed.

"I really hope this is going to be the last time we ever see you again, though it probably won't be," Sam grunted, losing his grip and dropping the coffin on the ground, causing Jurgen to yelp in pain.

"Maybe if I ate his ashes, he won't come back again?" Max suggested.

"As intriguing an idea as that is, little buddy, we can't take that risk. He might possess you, and then _you'll_ turn into an ambiguously gay emo vampire Goth," Sam pointed out. "And then I would have no choice but to kill you. It would be for your own good."

"Awww, thanks Sam! I'd do the same thing for you, even if you weren't possessed by a vampire!" Max said happily.

"Thanks…I think," Sam said.

"Will you get him over here already?! Hurry! We don't have much time!" Otaku yelled.

Sam nodded. "Right! Jango, could you give me a hand here?" The anthro Espeon nodded and grabbed one end of the coffin while Sam reached for the other. With a grunt, they managed to lift it into the air and carry it into the circle, where they unceremoniously dropped it in the center, right inside the hexagonal outline which, on a closer glance, was a perfect fit for the vampire-filled casket.

"Ow! Could you guys stop doing zat already? I'm getting a concussion in here!" Jurgen whined, banging on the lid again.

"You'll have worse than that when we're through with you," Sam said.

"Yeah, it's time to feel the sunshine…and get a sunburn you'll never forget!" Max said.

"No, not zat! I hate ze sun! I burn so easily!" Jurgen moaned. "And I don't vant skin cancer! Do you know vhat vampiric skin cancer looks like? It's not pretty!"

"It's time to begin…Taiyooooohhhh!" Master Otaku cried, raising his leaves into the air.

The lines of the circle flashed red, and all four of the smaller circles on the periphery suddenly rose into the air, revealing light green generators with large mirrors mounted on top of them. Jango drew his Blaster Del Sol and fired four solar shots, the golden beams of sunlight striking the generators and causing the mirrors to lower into position so that they faced the coffin. "Taiyoh!" Jango cried abruptly, raising a fist into the air.

Sam and Max blinked. "Did he just say something?" Sam asked.

"I didn't know he could talk," Max commented.

"He can, he just doesn't do it very often," Otaku explained. "And now…Taiyooooohhhhhhh!" He raised his leaves again. A golden ball of light formed over his head and shot into the sky, swelling up and growing brighter and brighter until it turned into a miniature sun, bringing day to the land of eternal night. Four beams of light shot down from the artificial sun and struck the generators, causing them to rumble as they powered up. The mirrors flashed, and four powerful golden energy beams blasted out of them and struck the coffin.

There was a scream of agony and the lid blasted off, a formless mass of purple and black smoke rose out of the coffin. There was a flash of darkness, and the monstrous silhouette of Jurgen briefly appeared over the smoke. "Gyaaaahhhh! Noooo! I vill not be defeated like zis! You cannot defeat me! Graaaaahhhh!" Waves of darkness rippled off the cloud, knocking everyone back. The cloud then surged forward, a rope of smog tying it to the coffin, and engulfed one of the generators.

"Sweet Lazarus rising from the grave to go to the Boston tea party with a time-traveling Thomas Jefferson! Was that supposed to happen?!" an alarmed Sam cried.

"Whenever we try to purify an Immortal, their spirit manifests one last time to try and stop the Piledriver from destroying them," Master Otaku explained. "When that happens, Jango needs to hold that spirit off long enough for the Piledriver to pour enough Solar Piles into the coffin to purify the Immortal's remains and remove them from the world."

"Oh, so it's a standard minigame/boss fight then," Max said.

"Is there anything we can do to help?" Sam asked.

Master Otaku shook his head. "No, this is something only the Solar Hunter can do. Jango! Stop him from disabling the generators!" Jango nodded, put on his helmet, and charged towards the cloud of darkness representing Jurgen's evil soul, firing beams from the Blaster Del Sol.

Jurgen hissed and flew away from the generator, which he had damaged enough to flip its mirror panel up and cut off the Piles it had been firing. "Aaaagghh! Sunlight, sunlight, is zat all you can zhrow at me?! How about somezing more original for a change?!"

"Hey, don't diss it if it works," Max said.

"Except that it's being used on you, so you'd probably prefer it didn't work," Sam noted.

"Once I get out of zis device, I shall drain your blood und add you to my undead army, vhich even now are marching zis vay to rescue me! Kyaahhhh!" The cloud lunged at Jango, who rolled out of the way and fired off several blasts. The vampire soul reeled back, hissing in pain.

The sounds of moaning and crashing trees was getting louder. "He's right, any minute now a whole mess of whatever the name for a large group of zombies is will burst in on us and eat our brains. How long is this purification thing going to take?" Sam asked.

"It depends on the Immortal and its power level, to be honest…" Master Otaku said uneasily. "And Jurgen does seem to be a bit stronger than his…er, behavior and attitude would suggest."

"Hey, vhat's zat supposed to mean? Gah! Stop doing zat!" Jurgen yelled angrily at Jango, who was still shooting at him.

"I can't imagine that generator pointing up over there is helping," Sam said. "If we moved it back into place, would it speed up the process?"

"All four Solar Piles firing at once? Yes, that certainly would help," Otaku said.

Sam nodded. "Right! Let's go, Max!"

"You zink you're so cool, don't you, viz your shiny armor und fancy gun und flowy scarf?" Jurgen sneered as he bobbed all over the place, evading Jango's shots. "Vell, here's a tip, hero: you aren't such hot stuff!" He released a wave of dark energy. Jango drew a gilded sword and slashed through the wave with a solar-powered chop, splitting the wave and causing it to fly past him. He dashed forward and swiped at the cloud of darkness, causing the vampire to shriek in pain and fly away.

"Ugh! I haff had it up to here viz you! I zink it's time you met my children of ze night…don't zey make some sweet music? Too bad zey don't dance very well." He throbbed and released a swarm of screeching bats which flew towards Jango, flapping their wings and gnashing their teeth. The humanoid Espeon turned a dial on the Blaster Del Sol and pulled the trigger, releasing a wide-angle blast of diffused solar energy that tore through the bats, disintegrating them. This setting of the Blaster increased its spread at the cost of power, making it bad for taking on a single tough opponent but pretty decent at getting rid of a large group of weak enemies like Jurgen's bats. "Ack! My babies!" Jurgen cried. "Oh vell, I'll just make some moreAARRRRGGGHHHH!"

Sam and Max had just finished moving the damaged generator back into place, sending a fourth Solar Pile firing into the vampire's coffin. "Suck on this for a change, sucker!" Max quipped.

"Too bad you forgot to wear your sunblock or sunglasses. If you had, we could have avoided all this," Sam said.

"Sam und Max, Sam und Max…alvays Sam und Max! No matter vhat I do, you alvays show up to ruin my fun!" Jurgen snarled.

"What are you talking about? This is only the second time we've foiled one of your plans," Sam said.

"Yeah, we haven't run into each other enough for you to really count as a long-term recurring nemesis. We don't have many of those…mainly because we kill most of the ones we run into the first time," Max said. "Just like you, actually!"

"…Vhatever! I hate you und I'm going to kill you anyvay!" Jurgen yelled petulantly. He pulsated again and released another swarm of bats at the duo.

Sam and Max quickly drew their guns and started firing frantically into the swarm, but there were so many winged toothy mammals that even though every bullet downed one of the bats, there were still so many left over that they overwhelmed the Freelance Police, beating them with their wings and sinking their fangs into their flesh. "Ack! Get off me, you goddamned _Desmodus Rotundus!_" Sam swore as he tried to swat the bats away and knock them off his body.

Max's jaws rapidly snapped open and shut as his head jerked about, catching bats in his mouth and chewing them to pieces. "Grah! Nah! Mmmph! You wanna eat me, stupid rats? Fine, I'll be happy to return the favor!" he shouted with his mouth full, spitting out pieces of wing and bits of fur.

Jango frowned and pointed his gun at the duo. "Wait, what are you doing? Don't shoot that thing at us!" Sam cried in alarm. Jango ignored him and pulled the trigger. A wide-angle blast of sunlight shot out from the weapon and engulfed the not-quite-heroes and bats, incinerating the latter and doing no damage to the duo save for giving them a nice tan. "Oh. It only works on evil things. That's good to know."

"Wait, then why'm I still fine?" Max wondered, looking disappointed.

Jurgen slammed into Jango from the side, knocking him to the ground and causing the Blaster Del Sol to fly from his hands. "Gah! Stupid hunter! I almost killed zem zat time! Couldn't you haff just let zem die and kept fighting me?! You heroes are all ze same!" He released a point-blank wave of darkness, causing Jango to cry out in pain.

"That's enough, Jurgen!" Sam said, pointing his gun at the cloud of darkness.

"Yeah, we aren't even remotely like him! Or heroes. At least, _I_ don't think we're heroes," Max commented.

Jurgen laughed. "Your puny bullets had no effect on me before. Vhy should zey now?"

"Because I swiped Jango's Sol Giz Mo when he wasn't looking and used it to enchant our guns with solar power," Max said.

Jango blinked. Otaku started. "You did _what?!"_ He glanced at Jango. "How did you not notice it was missing? It's a _gauntlet!_ You wear it all the time!" The Espeon shrugged.

"Eat concentrated sunlight in metal slug form, you villainous voracious vampiric vagrant!" Sam said, pulling the trigger and firing a golden bullet into Jurgen.

"Ooh, Sam's being alliterative now, you must've made him really mad!" Max said eagerly, opening fire as well.

The cloud was knocked off of Jango, allowing the Espeon to scramble to his feet, grab his own gun, and start shooting at Jurgen along with Sam and Max. The dark cloud wildly zigzagged all over the place to try and avoid their shots, but with all three firing solar bursts at once there was no way for him to avoid all of their blasts. Finally, he cried out in agony and collapsed on top of his coffin, smoke rising from both the casket and his vaporous form. "He's almost had it!" Otaku said eagerly. "Purification is almost complete. Soon, he shall trouble us no more! But, Sam and Max, one question…if your guns had the power of the sun all along, why didn't you join the fight earlier?!"

Sam shrugged. "You told us we wouldn't be of any help."

"Plus we wanted to save that revelation for a really dramatic moment," Max said. Otaku facefaulted and Jango sweatdropped.

There was a flash of darkness, and Jurgen's silhouette appeared over his cloud form again. "Gwaaaargh! If you zink you can strike me down viz zis…you're making a big mistake!" Waves of darkness surged off his form, slamming into the Solar Piles and pushing them back, driving them away from the coffin.

Master Otaku gasped. "No! If those waves reach the generators, it's over! The Piledriver will be ruined, and we won't be able to fix it before those zombies get here!"

"Then we'll just have to finish him off before that can happen," Sam said, cocking his gun. "Max, Jango! Let's do this together!"

Max and Jango nodded. "Right!" They raised their guns.

Jurgen blinked. "Vat? V-vat do you zink you are doing?!"

"Ending this," Sam said, pointing his gun at the silhouette.

"Be careful not to cross the streams!" Max joked.

All three of them pulled the triggers at the same time. Three bullets of golden light raced out of the gun barrels and shot towards Jurgen. The vampire's eyes widened in horror. "No! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

The bullets struck. There was a blinding flash of light, and the silhouette and waves of darkness evaporated with a horrendous scream. "Jackpot!" Max cried joyfully.

"Jango! Now!" Master Otaku shouted.

Jango nodded and raised a hand into the air. "Taiyoooohhhh!"

The generators powered back up and blasted extra-strength Solar Piles into the coffin. "Gwoooorgh!" Jurgen cried. "Once more…I…! …Don't zink…zat I'll disappear…forever! I vill be back! I vill ALVAYS be back!"

"Yeah, that's what they all say," Sam said.

"Lights on!" Max said.

"Shouldn't that be 'lights out?'" Sam asked.

"Yeah, but we're blasting him with solar beams, so I thought 'lights on' would be more appropriate," Max said.

"A very good point, little buddy. Well said," Sam acknowledged.

Explosions blossomed all over the coffin and the cloud of darkness. "GyagyagyaGYAHHHHHHHHHH!" Jurgen howled. There was another brilliant flash of light, and then the coffin disintegrated, the cloud dissipating into nothingness with a sigh of despair. "Guess its back to being a receptionist again…" And he was gone.

The Sunny Day orb went out and the Piledriver's generators powered down and sank back into the ground, no longer needed. "PURIFICATION COMPLETED!"

Sam and Max glanced around in puzzlement. "Who just said that?" Sam asked.

Jango shrugged. "We don't know; that happens every time we successfully purify an Immortal. We've gotten used to it. In any event, we did it!" Master Otaku said in delight. "Well done, everyone!"

"And not a moment too soon," Sam said, pointing into the nearby woods. Several dozen monster corpses were littering the ground only a few meters away from the Pilderiver circle. "If that had taken even a few seconds longer, those zombies would have been all over us like teenaged _Midnight_ fans on a picture of Eddie Cullens. How convenient that whenever necromancers die, so do their minions, isn't it little buddy?"

Max nodded. "Gotta love the lack of ontological inertia that always seems to turn up with magic! It's a good thing I don't have to worry about that, otherwise the country would go back to being boring and the Dakotas would no longer be a charred wasteland stalked by giant killer robots in the form of our most famous Presidents when my term in office comes to an end."

"I thought you named yourself President-for-life and rewrote the Constitution—in crayon—to keep it that way," Sam said.

"I did," Max agreed. "But one of those assassins everyone keeps sending after me is bound to succeed sooner or later."

"Not on my watch…" Sam growled.

"Sam and Max, I am glad that we were able to assist you in saving this world from that cursed emo Immortal," Otaku said as Jango took off his helmet and offered a hand to Sam. The not-Arcanine shook it. "Should you ever need help killing a vampire in the future, you can be secure in the knowledge that you are completely unwelcome in San Michel again and we will shoot you on sight, so you'll have to deal with it yourselves."

Sam frowned. "That seems a little unfair. Max didn't even try to eat you this time!"

"Yeah, I didn't even think about it!" Max lied.

"You stole the Sol Giz Mo and tried to feed me to zombies while Jango was fighting Jurgen earlier!" the Sunflora snapped.

"Well, they didn't seem interested in the steaks, so we assumed they were vegetarians," Max said with a shrug, as if that explained everything.

A vein throbbed on Master Otaku's forehead. Before he could explode on Sam and Max, Jango put a calming hand on his mentor's shoulder and held a hand out to the duo, as if expecting something. "Sam, I think he wants that thing you stole back," Sam said.

"Awww, do I have to?" Max complained. "I like having a gun that shoots laser bullets!"

"I'll get you one for Bastille Day," Sam promised.

"Really?" Max asked hopefully.

"No, it'll be a toy gun that flashes and makes lots of noise and doesn't shoot anything other than harmless beams of light that could theoretically blind someone," Sam said.

"Oh boy! That's almost as good!" Max said eagerly. "Okay, I'll get the gizmo."

"Giz Mo," Otaku enunciated.

"Whatever," Max said. He stuck a hand down his throat, rooted around in his stomach, and pulled out a metal gauntlet. "Here you go," he said, putting it in Jango's outstretched hand. The Espeon looked in disgust as the reeking, dripping device and carefully wiped it off on his pants.

"Thank you," Otaku said. "And now that that business is taken care of, we shall return to our world and, with any luck, never see you again."

"Good riddance to you, too," Max said. "I'm sorry I didn't eat you when I had the chance." Otaku glared at him.

"I suppose we should head back to our world, too, now that our business here is taken care of," Sam said. His pocket started vibrating and making the jingle of his old TV show's theme song. "Hmm? Hold that thought, I've got a call."

"When am I gonna get a cell phone?" Max complained.

"When you're responsible enough to use one," Sam said, answering the phone. "Hello? Yes? Yes? No! Yes? No? No! Yes! Yes? No? Holy trout swimming downstream in the wrong direction right into the net of a country-western singing redneck bearshark during sweeps week! We're on our way!" Sam hung up. "That was the Commissioner, Max. Our trip back home is going to have to wait a little longer. He says that we're needed on the seafloor, some aquatic cult of freakishly mutated monkey-fish-jellyfish-squid hybrids is trying to revive an ancient elder god to destroy the world!"

Max frowned. "What, _again?_ Didn't we already do something like that, except it involved a volcano, Bermuda Triangles, Moai with feet, and the evil ghost of our pet goldfish and former vice-president?"

Sam shrugged. "I can't imagine freakishly mutated monkey-fish-jellyfish-squid hybrids have much else to do at the bottom of the ocean but plot to destroy the world. It's not like they have a movie theater or anything down there. They probably do it out of lack of anything better to do."

"I guess so…" Max sighed. "All right, let's take care of it. But if I wind up being high priest of _another_ tribe of sea monkeys, I'm gonna declare a holy war and let both tribes battle to the death for my own amusement."

"Just like a real god should!" Sam said approvingly.

"…Wait, you're going to the bottom of the ocean?" asked a confused Otaku. "How?"

"By driving, of course," Sam said, as if it were obvious.

"Yeah, how else would we get there?" Max asked. "Duh."

"But…I mean…but…but how will you _breathe?!_" asked the astounded Otaku.

"My necktie functions as a surprisingly sophisticated aqualung," Sam explained.

"And I'm amphibious," Max added.

Otaku's eyes crossed and he started laughing madly. "Ah…yes…amphibious…yes, that makes perfect sense…" Jango sweatdropped.

"We have to go now," Sam said. "So I guess we'll be seeing you…well, never."

"Burn in hell, suckers!" Max said cheerfully.

They got into the DeSoto, which had been feasting on the zombie corpses, and drove away. "…Well," Otaku said finally. "I certainly won't miss those two. Come, Jango, let us return to San Michel." Jango nodded. They turned…

And found, much to their surprise, that the Coffin Cycle was gone. "Jango?" Otaku asked after a long moment. "Where's your bike?" Jango shrugged, a worried look on his face.

The moon vanished. The stars went out. Darkness engulfed everything…

And suddenly the heroes from another world found themselves surrounded by hundreds of glowing red eyes. Jango reached for his weapons and found, much to his surprise, that they were gone. Master Otaku tried to generate a ball of sunlight, but only managed a feeble light that was instantly consumed by shadows. "Oh no…" the Sunflora whispered in horror. "This darkness…it's unlike anything I've ever felt before…is even the Sun powerless before its might?"

"Yep." The red eyes came closer, revealing themselves to be a large congregation of purple vaguely demonic-looking Clefairy. One of them (She was called Bridget, by the way. Thanks for the name, HVK!) took a long drag on a cigarette and fixed the heroes of light with a look of amused disapproval. "Our boss wants to have a word with you."

Jango tensed. "Your boss? What foul creature of the dark do you serve?!" Otaku demanded angrily.

The shadows suddenly turned unbelievably hostile. "Foul creature of the dark? How rude," an ominous voice boomed. A beam of azure light shone down on Jango and Otaku, and they looked up in horror to see an enormous blue eye glaring balefully down at them. "Fools! I _AM _THE DARKNESS!"

Jango gulped, and Master Otaku squealed in alarm as he realized just who they were dealing with. "D-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-dark…D-DARKRAI!"

"That's right," the lord of death, darkness, and dire dreams snarled. "And I would like to know _what_ you were thinking, BRINGING LIGHT TO MY DARKNESS!"

Jango and Otaku screamed for what felt like forever as the darkness closed in on them, and then fell silent. Bridget smirked and lit a new cigarette, crushing the spent one beneath her heel. (What do you mean that's not symbolic? Screw you!)

…

Meanwhile, in Almiore…

"Ssso, our nexxxt ssstop isss Pueltown, right?" Evan asked.

Mary nodded. "That's what the map and the Compass says, yes."

"Think ssshe'll be there?" Evan asked, referring to the Princess they were allegedly searching for.

"Probably not," Mary said.

Evan nodded. "Right. And we're going there anyway becaussse…?"

"Because even if she's not there, there's a Compass piece, so we might as well grab them all," Mary said. "After all, if the thing's completed it can find your heart's desire."

"That'sss true," Evan admitted. He sighed longingly. "I already know what _my_ heart'sss desssire isss, though…"

Mary wisely decided to ignore him. "So, Maren, what's Pueltown like?" There was no reply. "Maren?"

"Hmm?" Maren, who had been steering the boat while lost in grim thoughts of her impending fall from grace, blinked. "What is it, Mary?"

"What's Pueltown like?" Mary repeated.

"Oh. It's the biggest city on the continent. It's pretty far inland, so to get there we're going to have to travel quite a ways north up the coast then sail west up the Almiore River to reach it," Maren said.

"A big cccity, huh? Anything like Togetopia?" Evan asked. Togetopia, the capitol city of the Mirage Kingdom, had made a big impression on the Ekans, due to its size and sheer opulence, which far outshined that of Pokemon Square. It was so rich that the streets were literally paved with gold, and even the poorest citizens had homes studded with jewels and crafted with semiprecious metals!

Maren smiled. "It's even bigger, with towering skyscrapers of steel and glass and concrete rising thousands of feet into the air, like artificial mountains!"

Evan's eyes widened in amazement. "Whoa…really? That'sss ssso cool!"

"How can something that tall not fall down?" Mary wondered.

"Very good construction," Maren said. "Pueltown has a little of everything. It's a real melting pot, with Pokemon and cultures from all over the world mixing together in (relative) harmony."

"Sssoundsss like a confusssing placcce…" Evan said. "How're we sssupposssed to find the nexxxt Compasss pieccce in all that?"

"Easy, the Base will point the way, right Gary?" Mary said. There was no reply. Mary turned to look at the Gengar, who was leaning against the railing with his back to them, staring out to sea. "Gary?"

"…Why did you do it, Mary?" he asked quietly after a moment.

Mary sighed. "Oh, not this again…"

"Yes, this again!" he snapped, whirling on her. "I'm the team leader! Why didn't you tell me what you were up to, that you planned to steal the Cup all along?! I can almost understand your lack of faith in my racing skills—it was my first time, after all—but why didn't you tell me what you were going to do?! Don't you at least trust me _that_ much?!"

"Of course I do," Mary said.

"Then _why?!_" Gary yelled.

"Because I was trying to protect you, you idiot!" she shouted.

Gary blinked. "Huh?"

"If you had known I was going to steal the Cup, you wouldn't have tried your hardest to win the race. By letting you fulfill your fantasies of being a racer, oblivious to my true plans, I was giving you plausible deniability. If I got caught, they would be less inclined to think you were in on it, because it was evident you and Evan were doing everything you could to win—even if you were bad at it--and just like Rick and Chumley said, why would you have tried so hard if you were planning to steal the Cup anyway?" Mary said.

"…Huh. That's a pretty good one, Mary," Gary snarled, not believing her for a second. "You seem to have forgotten something, though. If you were really going for plausible deniability, you and Maren would have gone off somewhere else after nabbing the Cup rather than picking us up before escaping on the boat, because by doing that you made it clear we were all in on it!"

"The plausible deniability was for if we failed. Once we had the Cup and were scot-free, I saw no need to maintain the deception," Mary said.

"Yeah? Well _I_ do! What about Torque?" Gary yelled.

Mary blinked. "What about Torque?"

Gary growled. "If they know we stole the Cup, then they'll assume he was in on it! He gave us access to the race, let us use his car, and his usual team even suffered an oddly convenient accident just before we showed up so that we could drive instead! That all seems pretty suspicious, don't you think? And I'm sure the racing authorities will feel the same way! Where's _his_ plausible deniability, huh?"

"Easy. We left him behind. If he were in on it with us, then we'd just have taken him with us, wouldn't we?" Mary said.

Gary snorted. "Oh, like thieves _never_ betray each other! They'll just say he wanted the Cup badly enough that he teamed up with a gang of hooligans—namely, us—and got left holding the bag!"

"But why would they even think that in the firssst placcce? I mean, yeah, ssso he wasss tied to usss, I can sssee why that might make them sssussspiccciousss of him, but what makesss you ssso sssure he'll take all the blame for what we did?"

"Because _somebody_ has to!" Gary said. "They're going to want somebody to punish to make it look as if they're on top of things, and since we, the actual thieves, are unavailable, then a scapeMareep will have to do! And since his fans would riot if they accused Rick, that leaves Torque as the only viable suspect, since he's the one who gave us a car and access to the race in the first place. We wouldn't have been able to steal the Cup without him, so they'll say it's all his fault."

"…Well…so what if they do?" Mary asked, crossing her arms.

Gary's eyes flashed angrily. "So what? So what?! SO WHAT?! So that means his life will be over! He's been involved in racing all his life; a scandal like this will put him out of a job, possibly forever! His goals, his dreams, his life's meaning…all that will be taken away from him, because we left him to get the blame for our actions! If you had told me of your plan beforehand, we might have thought of a way to take the Cup without making Torque look like a thief. But no, because you had no trust in me as a leader, because you felt confident and positively _eager_ to take matters into your own hands, everything an innocent Pokemon's worked for his entire life has been destroyed! Yet another negative mark on the scoreboard that is Team Nightshade's record of failure!"

"Why do you care so much, anyway?!" Mary demanded, trying to ignore the twinge of guilt Gary's accusations were causing her to feel. "You've never been particularly concerned about all the Pokemon we've stepped on to get where we are now before! What's changed? Why have you turned into such a bleeding heart all of a sudden?"

"What's changed? What's changed?! Oh, I dunno, maybe the fact that our negligent actions CAUSED A POKEMON TO DIE!" Gary shouted, spitting in Mary's face.

Mary stiffened, and Evan fidgeted awkwardly. "Gooey was…an accident…" Mary said after a moment.

"An accident? No, that was nothing short of total incompetence and disregard for another Pokemon's well-being!" Gary snapped.

"I sssaid I wasss sssory," Evan said miserably.

"I know that, and I accepted your apology. I don't hate you for it anymore, but I don't forgive you either," Gary said. Evan pouted.

"Gary-" Mary started.

The Gengar wouldn't have it. "Haven't you guys ever wondered why we're so low on the Rescue Team ranking?"

"Becaussse we aren't essspecccially competent?" Evan suggested.

"Aside from that," Gary said. "It's because we don't care."

Mary blinked. "Huh?"

"We. Don't. Care," Gary repeated. "We don't do missions because we want to help people, we do it because we want to get paid. We avoid missions that are too dangerous or have too little payoff. In doing so we might be dooming someone to die alone in the wild, but usually that person's someone we've never met before, and we rationalized that somebody else would do it if we didn't take the job."

"Usually, somebody did," Mary reminded him.

"That's not the point. This point is this," Gary said. "The reason we're so low on the rankings, why nobody particularly cared when we left town to come out here, why Ash's team and most of his friends and even his adopted _children_ are higher up than we are is because we don't care. They're willing to take on any mission, no matter how risky it is or how little a chance of their getting paid, and it's not just because the more prestigious missions award them lots of points either, but because they're actually committed to doing what they think is the right thing. They care about the lives of others, even people they've never met before. And us? We don't care about anyone but ourselves. And sometimes it seems like we don't even do that very well. Evan's disregard for Gooey's life and safety led to his death. My apathy for Gooey's wellbeing contributed to that, and my pushing Evan away after Gooey's death almost led to what I thought would be his own horrible end at the fangs of Hissssa."

"Exxxcccept that I wasss perfectly fine, and Hissssssa probably would have kidnapped me no matter what," Evan said.

"Yeah, but I didn't know that at the time, and I blamed myself, just like I still blame myself for Gooey's death. And Mary? You're one of my oldest and closest friends, and yet you thought it would be a good idea to steal the Cup without telling me or considering my feelings, or how it could affect other people," Gary said. "After the incident with Groudon and the meteor, we swore we'd give up evil and become good guys. So far, we aren't doing a very good job of that. We're all horrible Pokemon who have no right calling ourselves a Rescue Team."

A melancholy silence hung over the boat as Mary and Evan processed this. "…What do you want us to do about it? We can't change our natures," said Mary.

"Can we?" Evan wondered.

Gary sighed. "I don't know. Maybe. We'll see. I mean; we have to have made _some_ progress from the old days, right? I mean, it's not like we're plotting world domination or calling ourselves something like Team Meanies anymore. (Mon, what were we thinking back then?) And I don't go 'kekekekeke!' all the time. That has to count for something, don't you think?"

"Ssso…what are you sssuggesssting, exxxactly?" Evan asked. "That we try being more like Team Aurabolt?"

"Sure, why not?" Gary said. "They get the job done well, generally get along with each other, and are always making new friends. It can't hurt to emulate them a little, can it?"

"I suppose…" Mary said uncertainly.

"Then we're going to try doing thingsss by the book from now on?" Evan asked, looking oddly excited by this prospect.

"That's the idea, yeah," Gary said. "Or at least be a lighter shade of gray on the morality scale than we currently are. I'm not asking for miracles or anything, just that we…I dunno, try giving a damn about people and the consequences of our actions, you know?"

Evan shrugged. "Sssoundsss good to me."

"I guess we can give it a shot," Mary said reluctantly.

Gary grinned. "That's all I ask."

_Incredible,_ Maren marveled, having eavesdropped on the whole conversation. _Yet again they manage to completely surprise me. Every time I think they're incorrigible and completely heartless, they do something like _this_ and make me think that there's a chance for them after all. _A thought occurred to her that caused her heart to skip a beat. _And if that's the case…then does that mean it may not be too late for me, either? To turn aside from the dark path they're starting to drag me down?_

"By the way, Mary, I'm glad to see you've gotten over your seasickness," Gary said.

Mary blinked. "Huh? What do you-" Her face turned green. "Oh Arceusdammit." She rushed to the railing and threw up over the side.

Gary laughed and patted her on the back, causing her to vomit even more. "I accept your apology for undermining my authority and possibly ruining Torque's life."

Mary moaned. "Hate you…so…much…bleaaaarggghhh!"

"That's nice," Gary said cheerfully. Evan snickered.

Maren sweatdropped. _Then again, maybe I shouldn't be so quick to get my hopes up…_

…

Meanwhile, back in the Olive Jungle…

Just as Gary had predicted, Torque the Heracross's life was ruined.

Since the thieves who had taken the Prix Cup were members of Team Nightshade, whom Torque had let into the race and even allowed to drive his car, he had naturally come under suspicion for assisting the criminals in their heist. He had protested his innocence fervently, but the Grand Prix authorities hadn't cared, they needed to punish someone to show the fans and their shareholders that they were doing everything they could to catch the culprits, and Torque was unfortunate enough to be the best scapeMareep they could find. He had been stripped of his license, his team was disbanded, he was forbidden from ever participating in an official race again, he was given a ridiculous fine, his garage had been confiscated, and the remains of the Mach 6 had been completely destroyed.

A rather excessive punishment? Perhaps, but the mons in charge of the world's major racing circuits were powerful and wealthy individuals, giants in the media and automotive industries, and when somebody crossed them, they came down on the poor sap like a Hippowdon dropped by a helicopter. It didn't even matter to them that Torque had in all likelihood had nothing to do with the theft of the Prix Cup, they were out for blood, and didn't particularly care who they took it from. And so Torque, with nowhere left to go, his home stolen from him, his assets seized, and his life utterly ruined, lay in a pathetic heap in a dank alley outside of a bar somewhere in the town of Summerland, the bar's patrons and proprietor not liking a mon who had disgraced the noble sport of wacky racing as badly as he had tarnishing their establishment. They had beaten the crap out of him and thrown him out back so they could get back to their drinking and carousing and passing out and throwing up in the bathroom (if they made it that far).

The Heracross sobbed, his red (and black, due to a few blows to the face) eyes rimmed with tears, his teeth gnashing and his sore and bruised body shaking with equal parts grief and rage and pain. "Team Nightshade…" he whispered hoarsely as he stared up at the cloudless sky. "This…this is all _their_ fault…they ruined my life…they _killed_ the Mach 6…if I _ever_ see them again, I'll-" Two enormous balls of flame burst into life nearby, the heat searing his face and setting the nearby dumpster, full of alcohol-soaked rags and mostly empty bottles, on fire. Torque yelped and scrambled backward, his bruised ribs and broken legs causing him to hiss in pain as he exerted pressure on them. Eight smaller embers appeared around the bigger of the two flames and slowly began to swirl around it. "Whoa! Wh-what the…"

"Do you…want vengeance?" the flame rasped in a demonic voice.

Torque blinked, his eyes watering. "Vengeance?"

The flames coalesced and turned into an immense burning Octillery, while the other became a monstrous evil-looking Cherrim. "I am Gooey, the seeker of vengeance. Do you want revenge?" the Octillery whispered.

Torque's eyes widened, the flames from the monster and from the dumpster reflecting off his pupils. "Revenge?"

The Cherrim nodded. "Yes…Against Team Nightshade!"

Torque narrowed his eyes and clenched his fists. "Revenge…yes! Yes, I want revenge! They ruined my life and my car! I want to make them pay for what they did to me!"

Gooey scoffed. "Your power is fake. Do you think you can defeat them with it?"

"My power?" Torque looked down at his battered and beaten form. "No…no, I can't. Not like this. But then…then how can I…"

"A fake body. A fake awakening. It is useless! I will give you the power!" Gooey roared. One of his tentacles lifted. "My tendril is the fist of the Abyss." The tentacle unfurled. "Blossom, O fallen seed, and draw upon thy hidden powers!" He pointed the tentacle at Torque. "Grant unto thee the power of the glorious Ruler of Evil!"

Torque's eyes danced with glee. Power…the power to take revenge upon Team Nightshade…how could he possibly refuse? "The power…give it to me! Give me all of it! Everything I'll need to crush them and make them suffer for what they've done!"

"As you wish." Gooey's tentacle shot forward, touching Torque on the forehead. In a horrific shriek, the Heracross burst into flames.

Sakurai chuckled. "Don't worry…it won't hurt for long. And when it's over…you will be more powerful than you could possibly imagine!"

When the flames died down, Torque discovered that this was indeed the case. His body had been twisted and changed by Gooey's demonic energies, granting him power beyond his wildest dreams. He had grown considerably, putting on some weight, a slouch, and getting a bit of a hunched back. Warts and hairs sprouted all over his form, which had turned puke-green. His mouth had become much larger and hung open, revealing jagged yellow teeth. His eyes were bloodshot and literally bulging out of their sockets. He was seated in a bizarre hot rod with flame decals painted on the sides that seemed too small for him and resembled the Mach 6, with a long, slender lever ending in an eight-ball that he clutched tightly in one hand. He laughed insanely, gibbering as he revved the engine and caused flames to spew from his vehicle's exhaust pipes. "It is done…" Gooey intoned. "Arise, my brother…Bug Fink, the Deadly Driver!"

"GYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" the newly christened monster howled.

"Three of us, and three of them…it would look as if our alliance is complete, my brother," Sakurai commented to Gooey. "We are now a match for Team Nightshade."

"No…we are far superior to them!" Gooey said, his tentacles flailing about and setting fire to more of the alley. "As they shall discover for themselves soon enough, when Team Perdition comes for their souls! Come! Let us seek them out and throw them into the fires of our hatred, so that they shall suffer as we have suffered. Our vengeance is nigh!"

The trio of monsters laughed evilly, and vanished in a burst of flame that turned the alley into an inferno. The fire alarm went off inside the bar, and the drunken patrons winced and clutched their heads in pain, wondering what was with all the noise and why the bartender was driving them all outside into the harsh, burning sunlight with his broomstick. As everyone nearby evacuated to escape the swiftly-growing blaze and the local fire-fighters were woken up from their afternoon nap to go deal with it, nobody noticed a Cherubi and a giant two-headed Seviper wearing tons of gaudy jewelry, two bowl-shaped hats with lots of wax fruit piled onto them, and two pairs of fake glasses with giant noses and mustaches to hide the fact that she was a giant two-headed Seviper stayed behind, looking in dismay at the fire. "Damn…we were too late!" Jerry said.

"Now they have a full team…" Hissssa's first head (who, by the way, we can call Hiss for simplicity's sake) hissed.

"And now they're going to go after Evan! And thossse other Pokemon he hangsss out with," the second head (who, by the way, we can call Ssa) said worriedly.

"We have to go after them…Team Nightshade doesn't know the grave danger they're in, and we're the only ones who can warn them!" Jerry said.

"Then let'sss put the lead out and get going!" Hiss said.

Jerry nodded. "Right!"

"Uh, one problem…" Ssa hissed. "Where isss Team Nightssshade going nexxxt?"

There was a long pause. Jerry sagged. "…That is a very good question."

…

Somewhere else entirely…

"Honestly, what were you thinking?!" Algebrea ranted as she stormed down the organic-and-crystal hallway leading to the bridge of the universe-sized living spaceship. "You could have been killed! Look, I understand why you might be averse to the idea of a hive mind, given your past, but don't you think jumping to your death was a bit of an overreaction? If we hadn't caught you in time, you might have landed in a Sol or something, and _then_ where would you be?" Misty, who was imprisoned in a bubble floating beside the datafairy (for her own safety, apparently), said nothing. Algebrea sighed. "Still giving me the silent treatment, huh? Fine, maybe our leader can get you to loosen up a little. He has that effect on people. And _not_ necessarily by prying into their minds, either, he just has this sort of…charisma. You know what I mean." Misty still said nothing. Algebrea shrugged and stopped before a circular crystal door. "Anyway, we're here." She touched the door. Much like every other portal on the vessel, it folded inwards, granting them egress. They went inside.

And it was then that Misty finally realized who her savior was.

_The_ Savior.

The ship's bridge was an immense chamber, high and vaulted like a cathedral, and made almost completely of orange and blue organic tissue with bits of purple crystal growing from the walls and ceiling in elaborate patterns. These crystals were being maintained by dozens of orange and blue tentacled aliens in a variety of shapes and sizes, patterns of light flashing back and forth between their purple crystal cores as they communicated with each other and with the crystal computers they were monning. Misty recognized these aliens as Deoxyses, or rather, probes of the original Deoxys, which the Savior sent out into the Omniverse to observe and record and to help worlds in need. The probes' creator and master of the ship was in the center of the room, a magnificent purple crystalline growth of amazing proportions with colored lights coursing in circuits throughout its interior, numerous organic and crystalline cables growing from it to the ceiling and to many of the other Deoxyses floating around the bridge. Four Deoxyses that were larger and more colorful than the others were also tethered to the giant crystal. None of them had crystal cores, and each of them resembled one of the Savior's legendary four Formes: Normal, Attack, Defense, and Speed. Misty's accumulated knowledge informed her that the crystal was the 'true' Deoxys, and the bodies floating around it were the vessels the entity used to communicate to people that were not already connected to its ship-spanning network. Each Forme represented a facet of the being's personality: Attack was Anger and aggression, Defense was Sadness and doubt, Speed was Happiness and humor, and Normal was Reason and balance, or something like that.

Misty found herself troubled by this influx of information as Algebrea guided her past the myriad working probes towards the central crystal. She had always been raised to believe that the Savior was one of the greatest and most revered of heroes, an alien being that traveled the Omniverse fighting injustice and saving worlds in need of destruction, including her own. Nobody had ever mentioned that he had a hive consciousness and could control trillions of people's minds with just a thought. Now she found herself questioning the stories, and wondered if she had been rescued for as altruistic a reason as Algebrea had claimed. Nothing with a hive mind could be trusted. Nothing.

As the Datafairy and the Vaporeon reached the monolithic crystal, they found that they were not the only individuals here seeking an audience with the alien. The four Forme bodies were conversing with a hologram about some important matter. "Oh, this should be interesting," Algebrea commented as she noticed who the hologram was. Misty frowned, wondering what her captor meant.

The Speed body gave them a brief, cheerful nod of recognition and gestured for them to wait a moment. The Normal body finished realying a detailed series of instructions that Misty realized was an incredibly complex chemical formula her ingrained knowledge told her was the blueprints for a substance that could grow vast amounts of cheap, easily replenishable food in hostile climates to the hologram. "…And once you administer that to the atmosphere, Your Excellency, it will condense into clouds that will rain lifegiving nutrients into the soil, allowing crops to grow and solving your famine problem."

"Assuming it doesn't cause the atmosphere to ignite and incinerate everyone on the planet," the Defense body said morosely. "Or turn into poison."

"Oh, shut up, will you? Why do you always have to be so down in the dumps? It makes me angry!" the Attack body snarled.

"Everythingmakesyouangry. Hoohoohoohoohoo!" the Speed body laughed rapidly.

"That makes me angry too," the Attack body growled.

The hologram bowed graciously. "Many thanks, Deoxys. The populations of dozens of worlds will no longer have to starve as a result of the dreaded Puce Blight…and as their hunger pangs go down, perhaps so too will the latest talk of rebellion."

"I doubt it. Those idiots will find any reason to throw up arms," Attack said.

"Whycan'?" Speed wondered.

"Because they don't have much to begin with?" Defense said gloomily. "Who can blame them for wanting a little more?"

"And they will have more now, once I have my chief scientist Dr. Tarantulas synthesize enough of this chemical to feed them all," the hologram said. Misty started. Tarantulas?! What was the Savior doing helping someone involved with _him?!_

"I am glad I could be of assistance," Normal said. "I am sure you are a busy god-queen, but before you go, I would like you to meet my latest guest. I think both of you will find the encounter…enlightening."

Curious, the hologram turned…

And Misty gasped, because she found herself looking at…herself.

She knew, both from school and from experience, that the Omniverse was a mind-numbingly vast place, and that theoretically anything that could happen happened somewhere. Theoretically. In practice, it wasn't quite as simple. If everything that could happen _did_ happen, then the Omniverse would be a much worse place and have destroyed itself several times over by now. For example, let's say in one universe a group of heroes fought and defeated a monster capable of warping reality and consuming time itself. That's well and good, but if the aforementioned theory were correct, that would mean there would also be a universe where they _lost_, and as a result the monster devoured all of reality and unmade existence, in spite of the victory of the heroes in the first timeline. However, such a universe did not exist, and a catastrophe like has not come to pass.

Why was this? Like most things involving the running and maintenance of the Omniverse, it's because the Guardians took care of it. A division known as the Temporal Knights, headed by Dialga and staffed to a large extent by Celebi (Which was not to say that most of the Knights were Celebis, which would be silly, since there was only _one_ Celebi. Celebi just happened to be able to exist simultaneously in multiple times and places, keeping the Knights from having to worry about limited manpower like some of the other Guardian branches did) was responsible for routinely pruning reality and making sure that no timeline came into being that could threaten the stability of the great mishmash of multiverses that made up the Omniverse. In practice this meant that, whenever a timeline or universe took an irreversible turn for the worse, and there was no chance of it getting better anytime soon, the Knights took pity on it and performed a mercy kill by 'deleting' it from existence.

This might sound horrible, but all the people who lived in that erased universe got reincarnated elsewhere eventually, so the Knights didn't see anything particularly unethical about it, just as a gardener rarely thought twice about removing weeds from his garden so that the rest of his plants could grow strong and healthy. The reasons for deleting a universe varied, but in general they removed universes where life was cheap and sucked for just about everyone, where evil almost always won and the 'good guys' were almost indistinguishable from the villains, where pain and misery and despair were a constant, where the sheer bleakness and negativity of that universe threatened to overwhelm its neighbors, and where happy endings never happened. Universes like these were dubbed 'crapsacks,' and if the residents of those worlds, after receiving fair warning in advance from the Temporal Knights, were unable to turn things around, they were annihilated and reborn elsewhere in a different universe, one usually a lot nicer.

It was from one of these crapsack universes that the being standing before Misty, Misteria Wilhelmina Aquaflora the Only, God-Empress of the Otopian Dynasty, Supreme Ruler of a Billion Worlds, Mistress of Many Waters, the Sun Queen, Chosen of the Eternus, Earth's Avatar, Beloved Tyrant, Keeper of the Flame of Pythar, Knower of Many Secrets, Tender of the Hearth of Life, Mother of Thousands, Lover of Thousands, the Great Decider, High Priest of the K'ch*l'ncd'ce, (etc, etc,) and winner of the annual Most Titles for One Person award seven hundred and forty-six years in a row had been born several thousand years ago. (Yes, technically this made her being Misty's parallel self from an alternate universe rather difficult to believe, but time works in funny ways, so just don't think about it too much, okay?)

The Earth in that universe had been a truly awful one, a polluted post-apocalyptic wasteland where the remnants of human and Pokemonkind waged endless wars on each other, having long forgotten the reasons why. All the lingering nations still clinging to life were totalitarian dictatorships indistinguishable from each other and controlled by the military, corporations, corrupt churches, secret societies, or all of the above at the same time, where anyone could be picked off the street and killed, raped, thrown into combat, or subjected to experiments even more horrific than the ones Tarantulas performed on a regular basis without reason or justification. Life was short, brutal, and immensely painful for anyone not at the top of the society--which was pretty much everybody--and the _best_ fate most people could hope for was to die from exhaustion and overwork at the ripe old age of twenty or, if you were one of the 'breeders' forced to churn out new babies for the labor force or army, dying of childbirth. Freedom wasn't just out of reach, it had vanished from the dictionary altogether ages ago, along with joy, peace, love, hope, dreams, and other fairy-tale concepts, except they weren't fairy-tales because people didn't have any of those either. They didn't have anything. Life was one long, unbroken chain of pain and despair from agonized birth to merciful death, with few ever realizing (or even _imagining_) that there might be more to existence than this.

One of these nations, no worse than any of the others (since they were all equally horrible), began a project to splice human and Pokemon DNA together to create unstoppable hybrid super-soldiers to crush their enemies. Misteria, who had then been known as Worker #139192025, was selected at random from the assembly lines at the weapons factory to serve as one of the test subjects in the project, and had, through an unimaginably torturous and agonizing process that took seventeen months to complete and almost drove her mad from the nearly-constant pain, been turned into a fusion of human and Vaporeon. She was promptly put on the frontlines along with some of her fellow subjects, all of whom were killed by friendly fire and incompetence on all sides except for her. It turned out that, due to a fluke in the process that had created her, she had somehow gained immortality and could not be killed by any of the weapons the opposing army (or her own) could use on her. Her country's government was naturally delighted and began making plans to clone an army of her. Misteria's sanity, already fragile what with being born into a world where she was forced into a life of hard labor eighteen hours a day since she was _three_, been horribly experimented on and stripped of her humanity, and lost the closest things she had to friends and people she could relate to in a pointless and bloody battle, finally snapped and murdered almost the entire ruling body of her nation in a fit of maddened rage. Nothing could stop her. By the time she stopped seeing red and the blood dripped off her claws, she found herself the most powerful being in the country, with none left to stop her and everyone else apparently regarding her as some sort of terrifying vengeful guardian deity who was now their ruler. Realizing she could use this to her advantage to effect a change in the way things were, Misteria accepted her 'divine' status as well as a new name, releasing the remaining experiments and reforming a much more benevolent government under their control.

Unfortunately, without the harsh rule of their predecessors, the new country was now threatened with destruction by its neighbors. Seeking to escape the endless cycle of war and bloodshed, Misteria decided the quickest way to stop the violence and create a lasting peace was to conquer the world and unite its fragmented peoples under her rule to rebuild the planet. She started by conquering the feuding Pokemon tribes, using the hybrid status of herself and her fellow experiments to defeat and usurp control from the tribal leaders, then used their combined powers to crush the enemy armies and take over their home cities, swiftly adding them to her growing empire and managing to dominate the entire world (what was left of it, anyway) in a few short months. Resistance was bitter and bloody, but didn't last long when the people realized Misteria was a lot more competent and interested in their well-being than their former masters, after which they eagerly welcomed and began worshipping her with open arms. Under Misteria's leadership, they turned Pokemon power and human technology to reconstruction purposes, mending the environment and turning the world green again over a process that took many generations, and their new immortal God-Queen was happy to be involved in.

However, while things were looking up for Earth, the rest of the universe got progressively worse as galactic empires waged war on each other, destroying entire solar systems and killing billions of noncombatants as they struggled for domination. The Temporal Knights, worried this conflict would bleed into other universes, warned the inhabitants that they were now on the docket for termination, and if they didn't shape up within a thousand years, they would be erased from existence. Rather than calling a ceasefire and focusing their efforts on rebuilding their societies and dealing with the real problems that they had been able to ignore by gearing the economy for a state of constant warfare like rational people, the empires fought each other even _harder_, reasoning that if they were the last group standing than the universe would be at peace and there would be no reason for the gods to destroy them. Misty was, understandably, sickened by this stupidity and small-mindedness and set out with the stubbornness that seemed to be innate to all Mistys everywhere to do the impossible and conquer the universe so she could _save_ the universe. Through goads and ultimatums and holding the ticking time limit over their heads, she was able to push her scientists to develop a small army of spaceships with faster-than-light capability in just a few decades. Misteria took this small armada and struck off into space, striking at the closest empire and using the element of surprise and an intricate groundwork advance spies had laid out for her to quickly overthrow the current rulers and place herself in charge of the entire galaxy. As on Earth, resistance died rather quickly when the populace realized she was more interested in saving the universe than continuing an eons-long war, so were more than happy to serve her, especially when she introduced several civil rights and liberties they had sorely been lacking and hadn't even realized they could use. The other empires heard of this and started gearing up for more fighting, but their people began to hope again, realizing that freedom and a better future might be possible after all. They launched rebellions against their governments at the same time Misteria's fleets engaged the enemy armadas, a two-pronged strike that created a state of chaos and made it relatively easy for Misteria to step in and seize power, bringing the myriad galaxies under her control and ending the war.

Once that mess was taken care of, she worked her new subjects to the bone trying to fix all the problems left over from the previous regime and make their worlds places worth living in. They managed to get the job done and the universe cleansed of the sorrow and pain corrupting it a few centuries ahead of the deadline. The Temporal Knights were very impressed, and cancelled their plans to erase the timeline. They told Misteria that she had done a wonderful job, and wished that all the _other_ crapsack universes cleaned up as well as hers had. If they did, their job would be a lot easier. This revelation was astounding to Misteria. She'd known in theory that there were other universes besides her own, but hadn't really thought much about them. The idea that there were other universes that had been as bad off as hers had been was troubling, and she asked the Temporal Knights if there was anything she could do about those universes, to save them from themselves and spare them from deletion. The Knights jokingly replied that maybe she should try conquering them and setting them in order like she had done with her own universe, since she'd done such a good job so far.

They hadn't expected her to take that advice seriously and do just that. She tasked her scientists to work on constructing technology that would allow for inter-universal travel, pushing them to their limits as she always did. She wore a velvet glove, but there was still an iron fist underneath it, and she was not remiss to using 'persuasion' when she thought it necessary. In a few short decades, she had several fleets' worth of ships capable of flying to other universes. She promptly sent them out to locate any crapsack universes close to her own and begin work on conquering and repairing them immediately.

And that's exactly what they did. Within a few millennia, her empire was now one that spanned at least two dozen universes, was one of the most prosperous places in the Omniverse, and seemed perfectly happy to keep on growing and prospering. The Guardians were more than a little worried about this, but when Misteria made it clear she was only interested in taking over the crapsack worlds—since those were the ones she believed needed her rule the most, and the others could take care of themselves—they somewhat reluctantly decided to let her keep doing what she was doing on a trial basis. Even though she was technically a tyrannical dictator, no matter how benevolent, her results were more than a little remarkable. It was made clear, however, that they would move in to stop her if she set her sights on any universes that were capable of saving themselves. She rather calmly told them that they could _try._

They hadn't quite liked the sound of that. To hide this and keep her from thinking they were _afraid_ of her or something silly like that, she was granted full deity status, with all the privileges that rank came with; such as receiving power from the prayers and worship of her subjects so long as she continued doing things to warrant such praise, regular invitations to all the big multi-pantheon shindigs and conventions, the ability to create life to serve her so long as she did not abuse it, and the knowledge that if they ever needed to call upon her to help them with something for any reason, she'd better come running at once or else she'd be stripped of everything in a heartbeat and demoted back to mortal. She hadn't liked the sound of that, but didn't really have much of a choice in the matter. Arceus was very forgiving, but gods who he felt were abusing their power or failing to live up to their duty quickly found themselves in a very uncomfortable position.

All this information flashed through Misty's head in a fraction of a second, probably much quicker than it took you to read all that backstory. She stared at what her 'sister' from another world looked like, awed and more than a little intimidated by how different—and yet, eerily the same—they were. Misteria was much larger than Misty, due to the human part of her, a bipedal Vaporeon with a figure much like Gardevoir's and longer and shapelier limbs than Misty was used to seeing. She was clad in a simple black strapless gown that glittered as if it were a tract of starry space woven into a sleek, form-fitting cloth that accentuated her curves. (It was, actually. And it hadn't been easy to get, either! But that's a story for another day.) The God-Empress of several million worlds did not wear as much jewelry as one might expect, just a few rings adorning her fingers—and there were five digits per hand! How weird!—a simple silver necklace with a blue teardrop-shaped crystal dangling from the front, a small crystal tiara, and spherical earrings that looked like they contained miniature stars. Other than that, she was incredibly beautiful, making Misty feel more than a little self-conscious and inadequate, with elegant fins and huge glossy black eyes and smooth blue skin and a long mane of luxurious red hair flowing down her back in waves. She also had a very large…tail. Oh, and those things Jynx had, too, though not quite as big. Or jiggly. Looking at her, you wouldn't think she was someone who had spent her childhood and teenage years as a slave in a hellish factory and laboratory. She'd really come up in the world. Rather inspiring, really, and one of the biggest success stories in the Omniverse.

It was clear from the way she was looking at Misty that Misteria was appraising her less human counterpart as well. Misty wondered how she measured up in her other self's older and much wiser eyes, so much like her own. "I see…" the Empress murmured. "She is a parallel of myself?"

"Or you're a parallel of her," Defense suggested gloomily.

"Oryou'reparallelsofeachother! Who',right? Weehehehehoo!" Speed giggled.

"How did she manage to come into your care?" Misteria asked.

"Much like you, she has had a rather hard life, though not quite as bad as yours was prior to your ascension," Normal said.

"Your universe really used to suck. I wonder if it'll backslide…" Defense said morosely.

"Much like you, she was pressed into slavery at an early age and experimented on cruelly, though in between she experienced freedom and gained many friends, something you were denied initially," Normal continued. "One of those experiments resulted in her being scattered into space, where I found her. Oh, and made her immortal, like you." Misty blinked. What had he just said?

"Hmm…it's strange how similar events seem to happen to parallels of the same people no matter what the universe, isn't it?" Misteria commented.

Algebrea nodded. "It's like there's some grand unifying pattern to everything. We've been trying to decipher it for ages, but it's still one equation far beyond our calculating abilities. Even the Life Equation was easier to crack than this!"

"It's probably got an obvious answer we're all overlooking that's really stupid and pointless," Defense said pessimistically. "Like 42 or something."

Speed laughed. "42? That'stoosillyevenforme! Ahahahahaha!"

"Um, excuse me? Could you back up for a minute?" Misty asked, speaking for the first time in over an hour. "What was that about me being immortal again?"

"Oh, I forgot to mention it?" Algebrea said apologetically. "I'm sorry. I meant to tell you earlier. All that cosmic wisdom you absorbed didn't just encode your cells with knowledge, it infused your atoms with enough energy to give you eternal life. So long as even a single molecule of you remains intact, you can never die. Isn't that wonderful?"

"Wonderful?! I'm going to outlive all my friends and everyone I care about! I'll be alone forever!" Misty cried in horror.

"Pretty much, yeah," Defense said darkly.

"Oh,lightenup! Itwon'tbethatbad! Youcanalwaysmakenewfriends! Idoallthetime," Speed said encouragingly.

"And if you're worried about your Ash dying, there are ways around that. I haven't found a way to make him immortal yet or recreate the series of events that resulted in my own deification, but I've managed to increase his life span by centuries, and whenever he gets too old and dies I just clone him back to life so I never have to worry about him leaving me," Misteria said.

Misty bit down her initial gut reaction to scream that she had no interest in Ash. This was her other self she was talking to. She had probably been in the exact same place as Misty was regarding him at some point in her long life. There was no point in lying to her (or to herself) about her feelings regarding Ash. "I'll…keep that in mind," she said uneasily.

"I was somewhat alarmed too when I found out what I had become…but in time I grew to accept it, even cherish the gift of eternal life that I have been given. I hope you will as well, someday," Misteria said.

"Um, thanks," Misty said.

"I must be going now," Misteria apologized, both to Misty and Deoxys. "There's always work that needs doing when it comes to conquering and reshaping universes. It was nice meeting you, my 'sister.' I see in you what I might have been in a different lifetime. I hope you find happiness as I have."

"…So do I," Misty said quietly.

"Farewell. I hope we meet again." Misteria's hologram flickered and vanished.

"Meeting yourself is always interesting, isn't it?" Algebrea commented, noticing the thoughtful look on Misty's face. "It's enlightening to see what you might have been under different circumstances. And sometimes rather terrifying. Would you believe that there's a parallel of you out there that's a cannibalistic psychopath? In her universe, Ash was her first victim."

"That's love for you," Defense said moodily.

"…Gee, thanks. I really needed to hear that," Misty said, looking disgusted.

"Oh,andwehaven'tevenmentionedtheMistywho-" Speed started.

Attack smacked him. "She doesn't need to hear about that one, dummy, who wants to hear that in another universe they're a giant world-eating monster?...Crap, I just said that out loud, didn't I?"

"Yep," Attack said cheerfully.

"Yes," Defense said sourly.

"I'm afraid so," Normal said.

"Sorry," Attack apologized.

Misty sweatdropped. "A world-eating monster?!" _Is that supposed to be a crack about my weight or something?_

"There are worse things you could be," Normal said.

"Like what?!" Misty yelled. "Don't answer that!" She snapped at Defense. He sulked.

Normal glanced at Algebrea. "Algebrea, thank you for bringing her here. You may go now. We would like to talk to her in private."

Algebrea nodded, the bubble dissolving and dropping Misty to the ground. "All right."

"Wait!" Misty cried in alarm. "Don't leave me alone with him!"

Algebrea smiled reassuringly. "Don't be afraid, you couldn't be in safer hands. Or tentacles. Whatever."

"But-" Misty protested, but it was to no avail. Algebrea vanished in a flurry of numbers and mathematical signs, leaving Misty alone with Deoxys. (Well, unless you counted the dozens of probes, but they were all Deoxys too, so they didn't count.) "No…"

"Misty, I assure you, you have nothing to fear from us," Normal said soothingly.

"Nothing?!" she snarled, backing away from the alien. "You're a hive mind that becomes stronger and smarter by assimilating people into your neural network! I have _everything_ to fear from you!"

"Well,that's_one_wayoflookingatit,hehe," Speed admitted.

"It's also the wrong way," Attack grunted.

"Why does everyone always assume that? It's not fair! We're not trying to hurt anyone!" Defense complained miserably.

"The only people we 'assimilate' are those who choose to become part of the crew. They would be unable to fulfill their duties if they were not connected to the ship itself, to each other, and to me," Normal said. "And even once they are connected to me, they still retain independent thought and consciousness, rather than simply being mindless drone bodies like you seem to think they would be. Since you are a guest and may leave whenever you wish, there is no need for you to receive the implant that would allow you to better interface with the ship. Not unless you wanted to stay here with us, that is."

"I don't see why she'd want to, though, what with her crippling phobia and all," Defense said with great melancholy.

Speed nodded. "Andwe'renotevenbugs,either! Well,someofthecrewis,okay,butwe'resentientsilicon-basedviruses! There'snothingterrifyingaboutus. Unlessyou'reasilicon-basedlifeform. Orarobot. Whichsheisn't. Or_is_she?"

Misty sweatdropped. Attack smacked him. "Why do you even talk? Ugh, I'd be a lot happier if you just kept your thoughts to yourself," the tentacled alien growled.

"…ButmythoughtsAREyourthoughts. We'rethesameperson," Speed pointed out.

Attack sighed. "Don't remind me…"

Misty frowned, returning the conversation to the subject at hand. "I can leave whenever I can? As if! Where would I go? We're drifting in the middle of space! Even if we were near a planet and you dropped me off, I'd still be stuck on some hostile alien world far from home! The only place I want to go is back to my Earth-"

"All right," Normal said.

"And if you don't take me there, so help me I'll…wait, what?" Misty asked.

"I said all right. We'll take you home," Normal said.

"We were going to anyway. Sheesh. Who do you think we are?" Attack grumbled. "Don't answer that!" he snapped at Defense, who had been about to say something.

"We'dloveforyoutostay,," Speed said.

"I don't see why you'd want to go back there, though. Seems like a terrible place at the moment…" Defense moped.

"Which is why she has to go back, you moron! To fix things, and hopefully kick that arachnid android's shiny metal abdomen!" Attack said.

"Cyborg," Speed corrected.

"What?" said Attack.

"Hestillhasorganicpartssohe'sacyborg,notan-" Speed started to explain.

"Does it LOOK like I give a damn?!" Attack shouted in exasperation.

"You're really going to take me home?" Misty asked in disbelief.

Normal nodded. "Of course. We found you adrift in time and space, far from your world. What sort of philanthropists would we be if, after reassembling your molecules, we did not aid you in your journey home?"

"Pretty terrible ones," Defense said moodily.

"Besides, after we saw what those bastards are up to in your memories, we knew we had to put a stop to it," Attack growled. "We routinely send probes out to check on worlds we've visited in the past and make sure they're doing all right. But the one we sent to your world hasn't reported back in a while."

Misty frowned. "The one you sent to…" She gasped. "Oh! I remember now! My friends Ash and Pikachu encountered it in Meteor Cave a few months ago!"

"That recently? Then it must still be alive…" Normal said.

Speed nodded. "Yeah,we'dhaveknownifitweredeadbynow. Andsincewehaven'tgottenasignalofanykind…thatmeanssomeone'skeepingitlockedupsomewhere,whereitcan'tcontactus."

"Probably the Nihilators," Defense sighed. "That sounds like something they'd do. The poor thing's probably being tortured horribly into spilling all our secrets. They'll probably be ready for us when we show up."

"Who cares? We'll take 'em down anyway!" Attack said, jabbing his tentacles at an imaginary opponent. "We've got one of the best damn ships in the whole Omniverse! I'd like to see those creeps try to beat it!"

"Hehehehe,that'llbefun!" Speed giggled.

Misty frowned. They were going to take her home and help save the world? It sounded too good to be true. "What's the catch?"

"No catch," Normal said.

"Other than the fact that we'll probably be too late and your world will already be destroyed by the time we get there," Defense moaned.

Misty started. "What?!"

"What my friend means to say is that we are rather far from your home universe at the moment," Normal said. "Take a look at this."

The crystal behind the aliens glowed and projected an image into the air. It was amazingly complex and intricate and seemed to exist on multiple levels and planes, and were Misty's mind not buffered by the multiversal knowledge she had absorbed she might have gone insane just looking at it. She realized at once that it was a map of the entire Omniverse. "It's so big," she whispered in awe. "And beautiful…like the biggest, most intricate snowflake I've ever seen!"

"It's way too big. Do you have any idea how hard it is to keep track of everything?" Defense complained.

"Right now, our ship is here," Normal said, pointing at the map. A small blinking spot appeared alongside one of the distant branches of the magnificent, almost organic masterpiece of worlds and timelines that was the Omniverse. "And your Earth…" He pointed somewhere else, causing another blinking spot to appear. "Is over here."

Misty's heart sank. Her world was almost on the other side of the map from their ship. "It's _that_ far away? I had no idea I was scattered so far…"

"We found pieces of you all over the place! You have no idea how tough it was to put you back together!" Attack said.

"I'm amazed we managed to do it. It seemed impossible," Defense said.

"Ididn'tthinkitwassobad. Ilikesolvingjigsawpuzzles!" Speed said. "."

"I am afraid that, even going at top speed, it will take us quite some time before we reach your world," Normal said apologetically.

"! AndI'mtheSpeedguy!" Speed said.

"Do you see why I told you there's no point? Your world is so far away by the time we get there, the Nihilators will probably have won," Defense said.

"No…" Misty whispered, shoulders sagging in despair. She paused. Her eyes hardened. "_No_…I refuse to believe that! My friends won't let the Nihilators win without a fight! Ash and Pikachu and everyone else in Pokemon Square will do everything they can to protect my world! I refuse to believe that Earth won't still be there by the time we show up! I refuse to believe that Oblivion's Shadow and his cronies will win!"

"That'sthespirit!" S0eed said encouragingly.

"Yeah, with that attitude, you'll probably be able to beat them single-pawedly!" Attack said. "Though you'll need a little help from us, of course."

"We will do whatever it takes to help you save your world and your friends," Normal promised gravely. "It's what we do."

"I…thank you," Misty said. "That's…you have no idea how much that means to me."

"Alot?" Speed joked.

"It'll all end in tears, I'm sure of it…" Defense muttered.

"Yeah…_their_ tears, after we've beaten the crap out of them!" Attack said.

"But just because you're giving me a lift and helping me save my world doesn't mean I trust you guys," Misty warned them. "If I had another option available that I thought would get me home faster, any option at all, I'd take it in a heartbeat. I can't trust anything that has a hive mind. Not after all the pain they've caused me…"

"…Geez. Ungrateful much?" Attack grunted.

"Typical," Defense sighed.

"Awww,youdon'treallymeanthat,doyou?" Speed asked, looking hurt. "Wejustwanttobeyourfriends!"

"Yeah," Misty snarled. "By getting into my head and making me a part of your collective! It's bad enough that you looked at my memories before, _nobody_ messes around in my head without my permission!"

"That might be a little tricky, what with us being Psychics and all," Defense pointed out.

"I. Don't. Care," Misty growled.

Normal sighed. "While your mistrust and suspicion are regrettable, if you choose to feel that way, it's your right to do so. I hope that in the time you will be spending with us, you will be persuaded to change your mind, however."

"Not very likely," Misty said bluntly.

"We'll see about that," Attack said.

"Yeah,we'-down!" Speed said. "Iwoulddemonstrate,butIdon'thaveamouth."

A probe floated over to them. "We have prepared quarters for you in the Water sphere. This probe will escort you to them. Please do not stray from his side, this ship is vast and it's rather easy to get lost if you don't know your way around," Normal said.

"You could wander for days without seeing another face and finally drop dead of starvation or thirst," Defense said. "Well, not that thirst is really a problem for you, and you're immortal now so starvation probably isn't either, but you get my drift."

Attack sighed in frustration. "Will you quit it with the horror stories? You know as well as I do that that's never happened!"

"Not yet, anyway," Defense said.

"If you'll please follow me, Miss Waterflower?" the probe said politely. Reluctantly, Misty nodded and followed him.

"Farewell for now," Misty," Normal said.

"Ihopeyouenjoyyourstay!" Speed called brightly after her.

"Although you probably won't," Defense said. Attack smacked him.

Misty narrowed her eyes as she followed the probe out of the room. _He's right,_ she thought to herself. _I won't. No matter how nice they might be, a hive mind's a hive mind, and you can never trust a hive mind._

_Never._

…

And that ends that interlude. Wow, these chapters just get longer and longer, don't they? Is that a problem for anyone? I could try trimming it down, but I don't know how successful I would be.

Anyway, lots of neat stuff happened this chapter, building up for the awesomeness of the next arc! You'll get to meet one of the coolest members to join Team Aurabolt next time…whenever that is. Damn schoolwork.


	38. Legacy of Evil

And now for the arc you've all been waiting for. There will be action! Swashbuckling! Pirates! Ninjas! Swordfights! Explosions! Crotchety old sea captains! Evil cults! Ancient horrors! Vampires! Undersea adventures! Storming enemy strongholds! And SINGING!

But first we have some exposition. And a cliffhanger or two. Don't look at me like that; it can't always start with a bang, can it? Besides, the real fun will start soon enough. Like, next chapter or so. So just wait a little longer.

It'll be intense, I swear! Until then, you can read this. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me. Thanks to Tazkolmasterofemeralds, ninetalesuk, and Ryu the Weredragon for being my beta readers and for inspiring me and letting me bounce ideas off them. I'd also like to thank HVK for coming up with the name 'Bridget' for one of my characters. You should know the one. I think it really fits, don't you?

…

After a few days of pleasant travel in which they had a chance to bond and have a few misadventures that will not be included in this story, Team Aurabolt and their newest member, Lily, returned to their 'home base' on Sinnorre, the secret library in Sharpedo Cape. This was the first time half their members had been in Professor Oak and Tracey's hideaway or anywhere near Treasure Town, and all reacted to their new surroundings in their own way. Lily was enamored by the coziness of the place and the vast number of fascinating books all around them, a far cry from the cold, often terrifying collection of books of dark magic that her mother kept in her lair. Sasha was rather uncomfortable due to the enclosed space and proximity to Treasure Town, which was causing her disaster sense to wail almost as badly as it had when Giant Volcano had been set to erupt by the Nihilators. Tiny was, as always, completely apathetic and uninterested. After receiving a warm welcome from Oak and Tracey, the weary heroes had dropped off their things and settled down for a cup of tea while Oak filled them in on current events and gave them what they hoped would be the next clue they needed to continue their journey.

Finishing his cup, Professor Oak leaned back in his chair. "So, its Zero Isle you want to hear about, is it?"

"You know it is, Professor," Ash said. "We told you over Leo's computer that that's where the next Star Badge is."

"And that we were hoping you could find out more about it, since the Internet seemed oddly bereft of information on it," Pikachu said.

"All we know so far is that no Pokemon has ever set foot on the island," Sasha said.

Lily nodded. "There are stories of magical barriers…storms that never break…"

"And pirate curses! Which is awesome!" Leo said enthusiastically, the exact opposite reaction most sane people would have to hearing about something like that.

Lily was appalled. "'Awesome?' You think curses are _cool?!_ Leo, I'm wearing a curse right now that means my soul is bound for the clutches of my mother's master one day! Or is that 'awesome' to you too?"

Leo blanched. "What? No! No, that's not what I…I didn't mean…I wasn't thinking!"

"Clearly," Sasha said drily. Tiny sucked his pacifier in agreement.

Leo sweatdropped as an upset Lily huffed and turned away from him. _Well, I sure screwed that up…nice going, Leo. Gotta remember not to open my big mouth so much around girls, especially ones I'm trying to help adjust to the big wide world…and maybe seduce._ "Sorry, Lily. I didn't mean anything by that. I know there's nothing cool about curses, and we'll do everything we can to break yours."

"…Thank you, Leo," Lily said, slightly mollified.

"If you know there is nothing 'cool' about them, then why did you react that way to the notion of a pirate curse?" Sasha asked.

"I'm a big sucker for pirate stories of adventure and magic on the open seas," Leo said. "I was kinda excited at the prospect of being in one."

"You _are _aware that pirates are lawless amoral thieving scoundrels who plunder and pillage and rape and kill people for fun, right?" Pikachu asked skeptically. "They're like the barbarians of the ocean. Aside from the _actual_ barbarians of the ocean, that is, since sea barbarians stick to the water while pirates go around in ships."

Leo shrugged. "Yeah, but they also make fun protagonists in lots of video games, movies, and TV shows. Blame the media for corrupting my views on pirates, not me."

"Well Leo, if it's a story of pirates and adventure on the high seas that you want, then this may be just what you're looking for," Tracey said as he returned to the table and handed the Professor a very old book.

Professor Oak eased the book open, careful not to crack its spine or tear any of its pages. "The story of Zero Island begins thousands of years ago, before the great cataclysm…which is why it isn't widely known today, since most of our records from before that time were destroyed in the disaster, save for rare books like the ones in this library. How fortuitous of its former occupant to have left them for future seekers of truth like us, to use them in our quest for knowledge!"

"Thousands of years ago…just how far back does this take place?" Sasha wondered.

"Long before what we historians term the Last Age of Man, referring of course to the days immediately before the cataclysm," Oak said. "Back when humans were still alive, and pirates roamed the seven seas."

Ash felt a chill going down his spine, thinking again to his latest flashback. He hadn't really filled his friends in on the details of that memory yet. It wasn't something he wanted to dwell on…and neither were the full ramifications of what he had done. He also wasn't happy that Leo had been right. Again. It didn't look like his home world still existed. Maybe it was for the best that he didn't remember it completely…

"This was in the days before Pokeballs or electricity were invented," Oak said. "Well, electricity technically existed—there were Electric Pokemon around, after all—but nobody harnessed it for anything except maybe the occasional lighthouse."

"No electricity…mon, that must have been a crappy time to live," Leo commented. "No computer, no Internet, no television, no video games, no nothing!"

"Most of those pirates you seem to look up to didn't have most of those things, either," Pikachu said smugly.

"You'd be surprised, actually…" Leo said.

"There were many infamous buccaneers in those days…but none were worse than the legendary Barbedo, King of the Pirates!" Oak said, turning the book around to show them a full-page picture of an incredibly intimidating human bulging with muscles that barely seemed to be contained in his greatcoat and breeches, with bandoliers holding dozens of flasks of grog and explosives crossing over his strapping shirtless chest, a peg leg, and an incredibly gruesome face covered in scars that his long mustache and thick unkempt beard did little to hide. He had a big fancy pirate hat with a long Altaria plume stuck in it, a long flowing cape, a cutlass in one hand, and the severed head of an Aipom dangling from the other. The picture was so well-done, and the snarling man so vivid, that it looked as if he might step off the page at any moment and lay into them with his blade.

Tiny sucked his pacifier, unimpressed. "That guy kind of looks a lot like every other fictional human pirate I've ever seen," Ash commented. A few faint memories flickered through his head. "And not-so-fictional ones, too."

"I imagine they all have to adhere to a certain dress code," Pikachu said.

"Do you suppose he bit off that Aipom's head with his teeth?" Sasha wondered, examining the monkey head and the rather grotesque mandibles filling the sneering pirate's mouth. "I think I see teeth marks around the neck…"

"I've never seen a Pokemon like that before," Lily said curiously. "What is he?"

"He's not a Pokemon at all, Lily. He's a human," Leo explained.

Lily's mouth made a wide O in surprise. "Oh! So that's what they looked like. Ash, did you have a beard like that, too?"

Ash rubbed his chin self-consciously. "I don't think so, no…"

"I suppose he may not look that unique compared to other pirates, but he more than made up for it with his misdeeds. Just look! The list of his crimes goes on for fifteen pages!" Oak said, gently flipping some pages before them.

"Wow," Ash commented as some of the details of Barbedo's long and colorful history flicked past his eyes. "When did this guy find time to sleep?"

Leo whistled. "That's quite a lengthy resume…"

"He must have sinned every day of his life from sundown to sunset, and a little while before and after too, to get that long a rap sheet!" Pikachu said.

"I'm sure my Mother's done more. She's had time to," Lily said, not sounding especially proud of the fact, merely stating a fact. They grimaced at that thought.

"So did Barbedo, once he and his crew were cursed with immortality," Tracey said.

Leo perked up at this. "Immortality? Ooh, how'd they get it? Pass through a portal to a hell inside a giant stone monkey head?"

"No," said Oak.

"Steal gold medallions from a forbidden stone chest of ancient Azteka treasure on a blasted forgotten island?" Leo pressed.

"No," said Oak.

"Eat fruit from a magical tree that gives you random superpowers?" Leo guessed.

"No," said Oak.

"Seduce a sea goddess, who-" Leo started.

"Leo, that's enough!" Pikachu snapped.

Leo frowned. "What? You know I'm trying to find out how to live forever! I gotta pursue any leads I find, so long as they aren't too amoral."

"You probably wouldn't like the one method of life-extension I know," Lily said.

"Oh? What's that?" Leo asked. She told him. "Yeah, you're right, I wouldn't like that."

"Uh, if we could get back on track?" Tracey asked.

"How did he get cursed?" Sasha asked.

"Barbedo and his crew possessed a magical ship of unknown origins that they used to sail all around the world and pull the most astonishing—and horrific—thefts and raids," Oak said, turning a page to show them a blurry woodcut of a rather magnificent pirate ship that didn't look like any of the Rattataty vessels in the Treasure Town harbor, or like a vessel made of ordinary timber, either. "The accounts of survivors of his attacks said the ship seemed to literally appear from nowhere, coming into existence in an instant, laying waste to everything around it, and vanishing again just as suddenly into thin air."

"Maybe it could teleport…" Leo suggested.

"Or go underwater? Like a submarine?" Ash said.

Oak nodded. "The latter seems to be most likely, especially considering how Barbedo got himself cursed. He and his crew decided to pull off their most audacious robbery yet and break into the Temple of the Sea and steal the fabled Sea Crown that lay within!"

"Ooohhh…" said Leo.

"What's the Temple of the Sea?" Sasha asked.

"The Temple of the Sea, also known as 'Samiya' by the ancient People of the Water, is an underwater temple that floats along the ocean currents, never staying in one place for very long," Oak said. "It is said that one day the King of the Sea shall take the throne in that place, and rule all the world's oceans from that mythical seat of power."

"What was that about a Crown?" Ash asked. Had he and Pikachu spotted the Temple on their voyage to Sinnorre? Or had that been something else? And why did he have the strange feeling he'd been to this 'Samiya' before? And flew around in a magical golden stream of water…or had he just been listening to too many of Leo's stories again?

"The Sea Crown is supposed to be a crown in the temple that not only controls the temple but gives whoever wears it mastery over all the world's waters, so that they are truly King of the Sea," Lily said. "Mother tried for a while to find it, believing that with it in her power she could freeze all the waters of the world and usher in a new Ice Age."

They all grimaced. "Talk about a frosty bitch…" Leo muttered.

"Yikes…well, since that hasn't happened yet, I guess she must not have found it," Pikachu said.

Lily shook her head. "No. She's managed to track the Temple and find it several times, but was never able to penetrate its walls."

"Barbedo was able to do so, thanks to the power of his legendary ship," Oak said. "Thankfully, he was thwarted from stealing the Sea Crown by the Temple guards, but he and his crew managed to escape with a blue gemstone favored by Kyogre. It is said that she cursed them as punishment for this theft, so that from that day forward their souls would never leave the Earth and be trapped in their bodies even after death."

"Harsh," Ash commented. Tiny sucked his pacifier, unimpressed.

"And more than a little frightening. I can't imagine being trapped in a rotting corpse forever…" said a disturbed Pikachu.

"Neither can I. That's why I'm glad I don't have to worry about the whole flesh thing you mortals do. I really don't understand how you living folk deal with it," Lily commented.

"Eh, we manage," Leo said.

"In the end, it turned out not being as bad a curse as you would expect," Oak continued. "Or at least the pirates didn't see it that way. While their souls were trapped in their bodies, their bodies were still usable even after death. They kept on pirating long past their expiration date, rising from the graves as undead horrors and continuing their reign of terror upon the seas."

"Cool," Leo said. The others frowned at him. "What? It is!"

"Sounds like Kyogre's curse backfired pretty badly," Pikachu said. "Doesn't surprise me, she's never really been one for forethought."

"Mother would have made it a much more horrible curse if Barbedo had stolen from her," Lily said. "The least awful thing she would do to them is-"

"Please don't tell us, we really don't want to know," Tracey said anxiously.

Sasha frowned in thought. "A blue gemstone? Could it have been the Star Badge?"

"Hey, yeah! And maybe that means it wasn't Kyogre that cursed them at all, but the Badge!" Ash realized. "This sounds a lot like what happened to Tiama when she used her Star Badge to keep on going even after the warriors of Turtle Town killed her, and how Leo's dad and the other people Tiama ate are still around now as skeletons."

"It does, at that," Pikachu agreed. "Hmm…am I the only one who's noticed that all the Star Badges we've encountered so far seem to have something to do with life energy? Channeling or generating or transforming it in some way?"

"Hey, then does that mean if we get all seven, we could-" Leo started.

"No Leo, you can't use them to make yourself immortal," Ash said.

"Awww," Leo whined.

"If the Guardians are the ones who created the Star Badges, then I suppose it makes sense that the gems would have the power of life…after all, it is from the Celestial Heavens that all life originated," Oak commented. "And it was that same power that, sadly, may have allowed Barbedo and his crew to continue plaguing the seas for hundreds of years after their deaths."

"But they're not around now…so what happened?" Ash asked.

"And what does it have to do with Zero Isle?" Pikachu asked.

"Zero Isle was the home base of Barbedo and his crew, where they returned with all their ill-gotten loot after every successful raid…and since they were now immortal undead, _every_ raid was successful. The governments of the world were at a loss about what to do regarding Barbedo. They were powerless to stop him; Zero Isle was too well-fortified and even when they sent several armadas to destroy the place while Barbedo was on it the pirate king defeated them all using only his magic ship! What's worse, he was inspiring more criminals to become pirates and rebel against authority, hurting innocent people in the process. It seemed like total anarchy would break out if something wasn't done about Barbedo, and soon," Tracey said.

"And that's when the Arcean Order stepped in," Oak said, turning the pages to a picture of several robed priests in boats surrounding a large island, their hands glowing with magical power and causing a wall of some sort to appear. "Tired of their temples being looted and their priests being slain by Barbedo, they waited until he and his crew returned to Zero Isle to drink and sleep off their latest atrocity and then surrounded the island with a dozen of their greatest mages. Rather than try to level the island with spells—for even they were not powerful enough to do that, and doubted Barbedo would be killed for good even by such an assault—they combined their energies to form a barrier around the island, sealing it off from the rest of the world. They gave up their lives in the process, but came back as Ghosts right away, so weren't particularly inconvenienced." Oak closed the book. "And so Barbedo's age of piracy came to an end, with he and his crew trapped on Zero Isle for all eternity. They must still be on that island to this day, since the barrier is still up and it's not like there's anywhere else they could have gone."

Leo applauded. "Bravo! An excellently delivered piece of expositionary backstory!"

"So that's the story of Zero Isle, huh?" Ash muttered. More half-remembered memories flickered through his head. "I don't think any of the pirates I've met before were so bad they needed to be locked up like _that_."

Lily nodded. "Yes, you usually hear stories about demons and sorcerers and evil kings being sealed away by magic. Pirates, not so much."

"So, let me get this straight," Pikachu said. "To retrieve the next Star Badge, we're going to need to get through a barrier around a forbidden island that's stayed standing for thousands of years and survived a disaster that almost destroyed the entire world, in the process possibly unleashing the evilest pirate who ever lived and his crew of unstoppable immortal undead monsters, who were so dangerous that they could only be sealed away rather than outright defeated?"

"Pretty much, yeah," said Tracey.

Pikachu sighed. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

"Should be an interesting fight," Ash said.

"Yeah! We'll get to battle undead pirates! How cool is that?" Leo said.

Lily frowned at him. "So…fighting undead pirates is 'cool?'"

"Yeah, and definitely better than curses," Leo said.

"And 'cool' is a good thing?" Lily asked, just to be sure.

"Most definitely!" Leo said.

"Then…I suppose if it is 'cool', I will try to look forward to fighting these pirates as well," Lily said. "Since that is what 'normal' people do, right?"

Leo grinned. "That's the spirit!"

"Depends on your definition of normal…" Oak muttered.

Pikachu sweatdropped. "Great, he's corrupting her…"

"We're going to have to get through that barrier first…" Ash said. "Lily, I don't suppose your magic could take it down or open a path, could it?"

Lily nodded. "I'm sure I could find a way if I got a good look at it. What magic creates, it can also destroy."

"Then why wasn't it destroyed when the world almost ended during the great cataclysm?" Sasha asked.

"Because the cataclysm wasn't magical in nature." Lily frowned. "At least, I don't _think_ that it was…"

"We'll need a ship to get there," said Pikachu. "Professor, any chance we could find one in town?"

Oak nodded. "There are plenty of ships in port, but I don't know how many of their captains would be interested in taking you to a place like Zero Isle. Seamon are superstitious, and rightly so! It's the best way to survive out on the open ocean if you're not a Water Pokemon."

"But they might reconsider if you give them enough of a bribe," Tracey said.

"Money: it's what makes the world go round!" Leo quipped. "Good thing we still have most of our winnings from Mt. Battle to fall back on. I was worried that present I got for my folks would eat up a lot more of our profits!"

"What did they think of it, by the way?" Ash asked.

"My dad loved it! And so did my mom, when she learned about some of the…'extra features,'" Leo said, waggling his eyebrows (or facsimiles thereof) suggestively.

"Like what?" Lily asked innocently.

There was a long pause. While Lily was older than all of them put together, relatively skilled in magic, and experienced in a rather alarming number of tortures, sexual education had been one thing Bellum had neglected to teach her daughter. None of her teammates was exactly looking forward to telling Lily about the Spearow and the Beedrill, especially Leo, whom everyone else had dumped the job on, seeing as he had already nominated himself the Misdreavus's tutor on everyday life. "Um…like…glow-in-the-dark decals," the Squirtle said slowly, putting off the awkward lesson for another day. "And wi-fi. Oh, and it's good at massages."

"Oh! That sounds nice. Can I have one?" Lily asked.

"Um…no. You don't have the right body type for it," Leo said quickly.

"And it's pretty expensive. Plus, we don't really _need_ one, it was just something Leo thought his parents would like," Ash added.

"Oh," Lily said in quiet disappointment, misconstruing Ash's comment to mean that she wasn't worth spending money on. She was too used to not getting things that interested her to put up much of an argument, so silently accepted this refusal. Everyone winced (except for Tiny, of course) when they heard her tone, feeling intensely guilty. Leo consoled himself by remembering that she didn't even know what the present was, and once she did, she'd probably lose interest anyway. He'd have to explain it later.

"Uh, anyway…even if we get a ship, sail out there, and get through the barrier, I'm still a little worried about the whole 'immortal undead pirate' thing," Pikachu said.

"Why? We've taken plenty of those down before," Ash said. "Like the skeletons in Tiama's castle, or the zombies in Dusk Forest. We'll just use Potions on them until they dissolve into nothing."

"And I could possibly use a banishing spell to sever the bond between their souls and their bodies, allowing them to pass into the hereafter," Lily said, perking up a little at the prospect of being useful.

"And if neither of those work, we can always fall back on good old root beer!" Leo said. "An undead pirate's worst enemy!"

Tracey nodded. "Yep. It's a surefire way to beat them. If you have enough root beer, you shouldn't have any problems."

Pikachu sweatdropped. "Wait a second. Potions working against undead—save Ghosts, naturally—I can almost understand, but…root beer? Why on Earth would root beer work against undead pirates?"

Leo shrugged. "Dunno. It just does."

"Really." Skepticism dripped off the samurai's voice. "Then would you mind telling me why the Arcean priests didn't use that instead of sacrificing their lives to imprison Barbedo and his crew?"

"Because they never played Secret of Mankey Island," Tracey said.

"Duh," Leo agreed. Pikachu's eye twitched.

"Um…I hate to interrupt all this planning, but…a thought has occurred to me. Is any of this really necessary?" Sasha asked. "It sounds to me as if the Star Badge is already in a perfectly secure place behind that barrier on Zero Isle. Couldn't we just leave it there? As far as we know, we're the only ones in the world who even know it's there, which means the Nihilators can't get to it either."

They considered this for a moment. "That's actually an interesting idea," Ash said.

"Yeah, too bad we can't do that," Leo said.

Sasha frowned. "Why not?"

"For one thing, even if that Star Badge is safe, there's still a final one out in the world along with the ones the Nihilators have, and we won't be able to find any of them until we expose the map to the light of another Badge," Pikachu said. "And the only one available to us at the moment is the one on Zero Isle. Therefore, we have no choice but to get it, otherwise we might not be able to find out where the Nihilators' headquarters are and stop them once and for all."

"Additionally, even if they don't know it's on Zero Isle, it's only a matter of time before they think of looking there," Lily said. "Since there's no way of pinpointing the Star Badges without the map, the Nihilators have to scour the globe for any trace of them. Sooner or later, someone will suggest they try looking on the forbidden island surrounded by a force field that nobody's set foot on for thousands of years. I know for certain it was on Mother's to-do-list…not high up on the list, granted, but she was planning to do it eventually, so if we want to keep that Badge out of her hands and away from the rest of the Nihilators, we should go and get it before someone else thinks to."

"And that's not all," Oak said. "As the scriptures from the ancient city beneath Treasure Town confirm, the seal on the Door is weakening. The effect it's having on the townsPokemon is making them even _worse_, if that's possible to believe."

Tracey nodded anxiously. "I've been terrified to go to town for supplies. Everyone looks at me…_hungrily._ I keep worrying I'll get gang-raped. Or eaten. Or both. Or worse. Not to mention the monsters in the catacombs are getting bolder and venturing closer to the surface…I wonder how much longer it'll be before they lose their fear of light altogether and come out into the open?"

Everyone looked at Tracey in alarm, except for Tiny, who didn't care. "Geez…it's gotten _that_ bad?!" said an astonished Ash.

"And we thought the place was bad before…" Pikachu muttered.

"At this rate, Genocide City's going to lose its title as worst place on Earth," Leo commented. "I doubt the inhabitants will like that."

Lily shuddered. "Mother took us there for a 'vacation' once. It was…horrible, even more than unlife with Mother usually was. The memories of that place give me terrible nightmares to this day. The thought of someplace becoming even worse than _that_…"

"That gives us another reason to go to Zero Isle, then…" Sasha murmured. "If the seal becomes any weaker, the Door might open on its own, or at the very least cause something terrible to happen. We will need all seven Star Badges to renew the seal and keep that terrible thing from happening, correct?"

Oak nodded. "That's what we've deduced so far, yes."

"I don't suppose you've figured anything else out?" Pikachu asked. "Anything that can tell us just what's behind that Door that's so horrible?"

"And what it did to the nice aliens who used to live here?" Leo asked.

Oak sighed and shook his head. "I'm working on it, but no, I'm afraid we haven't learned anything new yet. The identity of the evil behind the Door is still a mystery."

Lily frowned. "What? It is? I thought I'd told you what it was already."

Everyone gave Lily startled looks. (Except Tiny). "What?! You know what it is?!" Tracey cried.

"Why didn't you say so in the first place?!" Leo demanded.

"Yeah, you never told us. I think I would have remembered something important like that," Pikachu said.

"I thought I had," Lily apologized. "Or at least, that I told Ash."

There was a long pause. Everyone glared at Ash. (Yes, even Tiny this time.) The Lucario laughed Mareepishly. "Oh, yeah…forgot about that what with the Dark Clefairy and fighting Brodie and trying to get my identity back at the time. Oops. But, uh, in my defense, Lily didn't actually say what's behind the Door, just that her mother's master is there…and a _lot_ of other things, too!"

"There's more than one thing behind the Door?!" Pikachu said in alarm.

"That does not bode well…" Sasha murmured.

"And your mom's master is one of them? Wow, no wonder it's causing so many bad things in Treasure Town…it'd need to be _major_ evil to win her respect!" Leo said. "So who is it? What badass mofo has a claim on your soul?"

Ash nodded. "Yeah, I'm going to need to know who to beat up if I'm going to free you from that curse of yours."

Lily took a deep breath. "It is none other than…Giratina the Fallen."

There was an even longer silence, broken only by a stunned Tiny slowly sucking on his pacifier. Oak poured himself a cup of tea, drank it, and then spat it out in Tracey's face. "Giratina the Fallen?!" he screamed. "The original god of death who betrayed Arceus and nearly spelled the doom of the Guardians during the Crisis Wars?!"

Lily nodded. "The very same."

"Did you really need to spit all over me?" Tracey complained, using his tail to wipe his face off.

Pikachu frowned. "But…that can't be right, Giratina was sealed in the Abyss with the other major villains from the Crisis Wars. So…if Giratina's behind the Door, then that must mean the Door goes to…oh, hell."

"Literally," said a shocked Leo.

"So that's what the Nihilators are trying to do…they're going to unleash all the demons and evil beings imprisoned in the Abyss? If it is the destruction of everything that they seek, then that is certainly a good way to go about it," said a horrified Sasha.

"That's not exactly what they're planning," Lily said. "While they want the Door open, releasing Giratina and the other evils there are of secondary interest to them. In fact, they might not even have agreed to free Giratina if it hadn't been the only way to get Mother to help them."

"If it's not Giratina or those other things they want, what _is_ it that they're interested in?" Ash asked, more than a little concerned.

"The supreme ruler of all evil beings…the greatest of demons, the challenger of the heavens, the ravager of worlds and devourer of universes…the first being to truly defy Arceus and try to overthrow His creation, instigating the Crisis Wars in the process, the legendary Ruler of Evil!" Lily declared.

Everyone gasped. Ash blinked. "The who now?" Everyone facefaulted.

"I should probably be used to your utter lack of knowledge about anything by now, yet I cannot help being surprised yet again by just how much you don't know," Oak said as he picked himself back up and sat back in his chair.

"Dude, everyone knows who the Ruler of Evil is! _Everyone!_ Even Sasha, who lives in the middle of nowhere, and Tiny, who was born barely two weeks ago!" Leo said.

Sasha nodded. "That's right, we do." Tiny sucked his pacifier in agreement.

"Ash, did you ever listen to _any_ part of Father Yamiri's sermons at the temple?" Pikachu asked in exasperation.

"…No?" Ash said hesitantly. Pikachu groaned. "So, uh, I take it this Ruler of Evil person is bad news."

"The baddest," Tracey said morosely.

"Since you don't have the slightest idea what we're talking about, I suppose I'll have to start from the very, very beginning," Oak said wearily. He paused. "Well, maybe not the _very_ beginning. You at _least_ know how the Omniverse was created, right?"

"Yes," Ash lied. It was an obvious lie, but Oak decided he didn't really care.

"All right," Oak said. "It all started millions and millions of years ago, before civilization as we know it existed on our world. Or if it did exist, it died out a long time ago, and there's nothing left to tell us that they were ever here. Anyway, the Omniverse was a somewhat different place in that time. The gods walked the worlds freely, and had a more personal, one-on-one relationship with the people under their protection."

"How is that different from now? There's lots of gods roaming about," Ash said. "I've even fought some of them at one point or another. Uh, I'm not gonna get in trouble for that, am I?"

"You'd better hope not," said Tracey.

"The majority of the Pokemon we know as legendaries are fairly low on the Celestial totem pole," Pikachu said. "Plus, I wouldn't exactly call it a one-on-one relationship. They occasionally form attachments to a few people a generation, but for the most part stay aloof and focused on watching over the world in general rather than anyone specifically. That's why all the legendary birds and beasts live on far-off mountains and islands, and some of the rarest and most powerful deities are rarely seen at all."

"Oh," Ash said. "So it was different back then?"

Oak nodded. "More gods, both lesser and greater, and Guardians were all over the place dealing with people on individual levels. You had household and family deities who helped protect members of specific bloodlines, guardian spirits to help run cities and countries, greater beings to watch over entire worlds, and so on and so on in a complex hierarchy going all the way up to the top of the Celestial Heavens. There are many who would call it a golden age, but there are just as many who would argue the opposite. While it's true that there was less war and strife and evil in the world, there was also less of what you might call privacy or freedom. The gods had a rather sizable say in the day-to-day lives of the people they were responsible for, and some individuals took their patron deity's advice so seriously that they might go so far as to quit their jobs or break off a wedding engagement if their god didn't think it was right for them."

"Yeah…that doesn't sound like a very good time," Ash said.

"I doubt I would have liked it," Sasha agreed.

"Yeah, the only gods I listen to are the Internet, and the creators of my favorite video games and anime!" Leo said. "Because they're just that awesome."

"Those aren't exactly gods, Leo," Oak said.

Leo snorted. "Says you."

"It might have been better than you think," Pikachu argued. "After all, it happened a long time ago, and we don't really have any experience with what life back then was like. We might have enjoyed it. I certainly have no problem with a world with less war and evil."

"Doesn't that mean you wouldn't be a kickass samurai, though?" Leo pointed out.

"A life of peace is more desirable than a life of constant violence," Pikachu replied. "Even if that life of violence has a lengthy honor and legacy attached to it."

"I think I would have liked a world like that too," Lily said. "I doubt Mother would have been able to treat me the way she did in a place like that." They fidgeted uncomfortably at that. Whenever Lily brought up her unhappy childhood, they couldn't help feeling uneasy and a little guilty. Well, everyone but Tiny, anyway.

"Well, we'll never know now because those times are over," Oak said. "And it's all because of the Ruler of Evil."

"Isn't that always the story?" Tracey said sadly.

Ash frowned. "What did this guy do?"

"Well, much like most of you, not everyone was entirely satisfied with the way the worlds were," Oak said. "Many mortals chafed, feeling that the gods had too much control over their lives. Some gods agreed, believing that mortals should be allowed to choose their own fate. Still other gods disagreed, thinking they didn't control the mortals _enough_, and that without divine guidance they would destroy themselves. There were many arguments and debates and unhappy sentiments, but it didn't seem like anything would come of it…until…

"The Ruler of Evil appeared. Even to this day, nobody knows where the Ruler came from, only that it possessed godlike powers and shared the abilities of the Guardians to manipulate superstrings and bend the fabric of reality to its will, which was how nobody had known it even existed before its arrival. It appeared before mortals and gods alike, appealing to their doubts about the current state of affairs and convincing them that things did not need to be the way they were, that mortals could live with the freedom to decide their fates, and that the gods could dwell among their charges without governing every aspect of their lives. The Ruler spoke convincingly of how they could create a new world together where they could live in equality and freedom from their current oppression, appealing to the doubts and misgivings of the people and winning converts and followers in droves, like any good demagogue with a silver tongue," Oak said.

Ash frowned. "That doesn't sound so bad. I sort of see where this guy is coming from. He makes a few good points about the less than ideal way things were. Or at least, what _I_ think was less than ideal."

"It gets worse, trust me," Pikachu said.

Leo nodded. "Yeah, you can never trust these mysterious charismatic speaker types. They're always up to no good. Either that or they're prophets genuinely speaking words of wisdom. It's kind of hard to tell sometimes."

"The higher-ups in the pantheon were not entirely certain what to do about this new being. None of them had any idea where it had come from, which was rather alarming because they were supposed to know everything. Only Arceus and some of His inner circle seemed to have an inkling as to the being's origins, but for whatever reason, They kept silent," Oak continued. "They found themselves at a bit of an impasse. They were very suspicious of this stranger because they found it impossible to fathom its intentions due to its abilities and were a bit worried about how it was winning support from the mortals under their care. However, they knew that they dared not act against the stranger, because in doing so they would only be validating its words and proving that they didn't trust their charges to be able to decide their own future. So, rather reluctantly, they settled down to wait and see what came of it.

"At first, it didn't seem so bad. While the being who would be known as the Ruler of Evil won many supporters and admirers, the rest of the mortals of the Omniverse were either firmly in favor of the rule of the Celestial Heavens or largely indifferent. Rather than force anyone to switch or choose a side, the Ruler allowed them their opinion, pointing out that if it tried to change how they felt it would be no better than the gods. The gods in question weren't happy about this, nor were they happy when the Ruler and his followers settled down in a relatively empty universe and formed a commune of sorts dedicated to freedom and peace and all that. Which sounds well and good on paper, but in reality was anything but. Technically, everyone _was_ free and equal…so long as they didn't do anything that the Ruler disapproved of, and did whatever it asked of them. In a very real sense, they were slaves to the Ruler's will, but did not realize this due to the way their new master so politely and subtly controlled them, and allowed them to do whatever they wished whenever it didn't need them, saying that they needed obey no laws save the ones they felt like obeying. They were no longer being controlled by the gods high in the Celestial Heavens, so could do whatever they wanted with their lives. Anything at all. Without any inhibitions or restrictions whatsoever…I think you can see where I'm going with this, can't you?"

"So basically that universe turned into a lawless anarchical craphole ruled by a manipulative evil bastard," Leo summed up.

Oak nodded. "Pretty much, yes."

Ash frowned. "Wait, that can't be right. You're telling me that people are innately evil inside or something and that left to their own devices they'd kill themselves?"

"That sounds about right," Sasha said.

"I refuse to believe that!" Ash protested.

Oak shook his head. "It's not that people are innately evil so much as…well, look at it this way. If a society has no rules, then it's not a society at all. It's like the wilds of our world. There are plenty of good Pokemon who live out there, far from civilization, but there are also lots of evil Pokemon too. And evil Pokemon have a thing for hurting and oppressing other Pokemon. Think of a whole universe built like that, where there weren't Rescue Teams or heroes or any form of law enforcement to stop people from hurting each other, where you were literally free to do whatever you wanted unless you weren't strong enough to keep other people from doing what they wanted to _you_."

"What a terrible place…" Pikachu murmured.

"Sounds like some of the role-playing games I've been in," Leo said.

Ash grimaced. "Oh. Yeah, I can see how that might be bad…and they didn't realize what kind of a raw deal they'd gotten?"

"Lots of times when someone makes a bad decision, rather than admitting their mistake and changing their behavior they continue to go along with it and try to justify their actions as having been the right or only thing to do," Oak said. "The Ruler of Evil's followers were no different. They convinced themselves that life _had_ to be better than it was under the gods' control, because now they were free, and if they weren't free, then that would have meant they had been wrong and the Ruler of Evil had lied to them. And people often cling to comforting lies rather than facing a painful truth."

A chill ran down Ash's spine. Why did that strike a chord with him? "Why didn't the gods do anything about this?" Ash asked.

"Again, because doing so would prove the Ruler's point. They decided that they wouldn't act unless they were asked to." Oak sighed. "A noble sentiment, but if they had intervened sooner, the tragedy that happened next might not have occurred."

"And this tragedy was…?" Ash asked.

"The Ruler's followers began to turn into monsters," Pikachu said.

"The first demons," Lily added.

"And not the good kind, either," said Leo.

Ash blinked. "There's a good kind?"

"Well, yeah," Leo said, as if it were obvious.

"'Demon' is sort of a generic term for any spirit or servitor monster that can be summoned by magic," Lily explained. "Just like people, there are good ones as well as evil ones. Many of the good ones are reformed fiends created during the Crisis Wars who work on behalf of the Guardians and occasionally assist heroes or participate in certain benign magical endeavors, while others never changed their wicked ways and remain sealed away, only capable of being released by a powerful sorcerer or ceremony. And usually an evil one at that, because who else would want to conjure such a monster?"

"Someone who wanted to see what would happen?" Leo offered.

Tracey nodded. "I know I would." The others sweatdropped.

"So, uh, they became demons. Why?" Ash asked.

"Nobody's sure, to be honest," Oak confessed. "There are many theories as to why it happened. Some think the Ruler of Evil did it. Others think that Arceus cursed them as punishment for their turning away from Him and becoming servants of a false god. And some say that they did it to themselves, as if on a subconscious level—or a level even below that!—they realized that they were rejecting their Creator, so turned themselves into horrible creatures out of self-loathing, to punish themselves for betraying Arceus."

"Oh, is _that_ why so many demons are into torture and have a sort of S+M vibe going, then?" Leo asked.

"It very well could be," Oak admitted.

Pikachu grimaced. "Very nice imagery, Leo."

"What is 'S+M?'" Lily asked innocently.

There was a long, awkward silence. "Um…well, it's…" Leo hesitated. "The sad thing, Lily, is that you've probably already experienced something like it, but didn't know it at the time, and certainly didn't enjoy it."

"Oh," Lily said. "Well, if it's something I've already experienced, then I doubt it can be very pleasant. Few of the things I have were."

"You'd be surprised, actually…" Leo said.

Pikachu winced. "Thank you for even _more_ nice imagery, Leo."

"I don't suppose the demons turned on the Ruler when they realized what their association with it had done to them, did they?" Ash asked.

Oak shook his head. "Afraid not. They were upset at first, but the Ruler convinced them that their new monstrous shapes were their true forms, representing what they really were inside, once they were freed from all the restrictions of laws and society and the gods. It convinced them that they were beautiful and should revel in the beauty that came from freedom. It twisted their minds and their perceptions until they began to believe that they were happier the way they were now, that they were the way they really should be. They liked themselves so much, in fact, that when the Ruler suggested that maybe they should spread this beauty to everyone else in the Omniverse, so that they could all share in a unifying love and freedom that spanned all of time and space, they saw no reason not to."

"Well, that can't have been good," Ash said.

"Should have seen it coming, huh?" Leo said. "It always comes down to Omniversal domination sooner or later."

"That's pretty much what the Guardians thought too, so when the Ruler of Evil and its new army began their expansion, they thought they were ready…unfortunately, they had underestimated just how clever the Ruler was, or how much control it had over the superstrings that made up reality. The Ruler had subtly woven strands together to not only make it appear that its first strike was in an entirely different location from its _real_ destination, but also to conceal the fact that it had secretly constructed a massive armada of nearly invincible warships capable of jumping from universe to universe in the blink of an eye. They could vanish from one universe and pop up in another without warning, and due to the way superstrings warped around them, it was all but impossible for any but the most skilled Guardians to know where they were going to turn up next. And that's no even the worst part," Oak said. "If it had simply dispatched its ships to conquer worlds with force, it would have been bad enough. But the Ruler did something even worse than that. It ordered each ship to travel to a single universe in a key position somewhere out in the Omniverse. That ship then unleashed the most virulent plague of all…an idea!"

"…An idea?" said a confused Ash. "What's so bad about that?"

"Ideas can be very dangerous," Pikachu said. "The right idea in the right place and the right person can lead to the toppling of empires. To murders and wars and bloody revolutions. Or it can also lead to a discovery that turns the whole world on its head, for good or for ill. Innovations in technology, society, art, culture. That sort of thing."

Leo nodded. "Never underestimate the power of a good meme. Put something mildly interesting or memorable on the Internet, and millions of people will see it before the day is out. One of the fastest and most reliable ways of spreading information there is. Whether the information is _good_, on the other hand…"

"So what kind of idea did these ships spread?" Ash asked.

"The same one that the Ruler of Evil used to recruit his first converts," Lily said. "That they could all live together in one world, with perfect freedom and equality, not having to kowtow to the heavens. Like all great viruses and ideas, this concept proved very contagious, and while not every world the message was spread to became 'infected', they were still made aware that the option existed, which was almost as bad."

Ash frowned. "But the message was delivered by grotesque demons. Didn't that set off any alarms?"

"Ugliness is in the eye of the beholder," said Tracey. "And species. To some people on other planets, the demons were the epitome of beauty."

"It also helped that they designed their ships to look pretty much like what you would expect a holy vessel to look like rather than the ship of a legion of demons…lots of white and silver and gold, soft glowing lights, wings that had a vaguely angelic feel to them, that sort of thing. The Ruler of Evil specifically designed them to inspire awe and wonder in the hearts of the people that saw them, so that they might be more receptive to the words that its crew told them," Oak explained. "There may have been some degree of magic and superstring manipulation in the delivery, but either way quite a lot of worlds became enticed by the Ruler of Evil's message, and agreed to join with it to bring peace and unity to the rest of the Omniverse…even if force were necessary. From its hundreds of new footholds all over the Omniverse, the Ruler was able to begin its true attack, claiming dozens of new universes to its cause with every passing day. The Guardians managed to rally in time to stop its forces from advancing any further, but the fact that its armies were scattered all over the place and its ships could teleport all over the place forced the Guardians to spread their forces to the breaking point trying to keep the Ruler's forces under control. Additionally, by becoming a god of sorts to its followers, the Ruler of Evil was able to collect the souls of everyone who died in its service and resurrect them in newer, more powerful forms…so even if the Guardians wiped out a whole army of demons, they'd be back on their feet in very short order. Admittedly, so could the Guardians, but this only highlighted how dangerous the Ruler was, if it was nearly, if not exactly, as powerful as they were."

"Whoa. I can see why they'd call it the 'Ruler of Evil' with abilities like that on top of everything else," Ash commented.

Oak closed his eyes sadly. "These were the Crisis Wars…a conflict millions of years long, with the forces of good and evil struggling back and forth over control of the worlds, with entire multiverses swapping hands dozens of times within the space of a single year. The Guardians were eventually able to find a way to stop the Ruler from using its power over the superstrings against them, but it worked both ways, and so they were unable to use their full powers against it either, drawing the conflict out far longer than it should have. As a result, more than a few previously neutral factions joined the Ruler's side because they felt the Guardians had mismanaged the whole thing right from the start, and more than a few factions power-hungry and greedy enough to dare to defy Arceus decided that they wanted to be on the winning side and allied with the Ruler of Evil as well. Things were very grim…and they became even grimmer shortly after that."

Ash groaned. "Oh great, what now?"

"The Ruler of Evil unleashed its ultimate weapon…the device with which it would destroy the Omniverse and unite all worlds into one that it could reshape to its liking…" Lily whispered.

"Gaiavore…the World Eater," Sasha said in hushed tones.

"…I'm guessing this isn't something as innocuous as a Snorlax, then," Ash said uneasily.

"Not even remotely," said Leo. "Imagine a ship that's the size of a planet. Or rather, _is_ a planet, an artificial one capable of warping all over the Omniverse. A planet that eats _other_ planets…and not only that, but incorporates their mass and souls and pretty much everything on them into itself, growing bigger and becoming capable of eating much larger things in the process."

"Yeah, definitely not like a Snorlax," Ash muttered to himself.

"The more it ate, the bigger it got. At first, it could only eat planets, but then it became large enough to eat solar systems, then galaxies, then entire _universes_," Oak said.

"Sounds a lot like this one popular game series I play, actually," Leo said. "Except in that game you're a tiny Princess rolling things up in a ball, and the more things you roll up, the bigger the ball becomes and the larger the objects you can pick up are. And then when you get enough objects, the ball is launched into space and turned into a star to replace the ones that the omnipotent Queen of all Cosmos destroyed on a drunken binge. Lots of fun, with some pretty catchy music too."

"I thought stars were created when lots of stellar gas was compressed tightly enough to make it ignite and-" Lily started.

"It's a video game, Lily. Things don't have to obey the usual rules there," Leo said. He paused. "Except that there's probably at least one universe out there where the game, or events similar to it, takes place, so…well, I guess that's how stars would be made there…hmm. Probably a really weird place, huh?"

"Pretty much any universe based on the things you play would be a very weird place, Leo," Pikachu said.

"How was this Gaiavore thing able to do that?" Ash asked. "Eat stuff and then make them part of itself and become so much bigger?"

"Its central core was a matter/antimatter reactor created by combining two captured elementals of pure chaos and pure order, MBlock and Missingno," Oak explained. "Missingno can do nothing but create, while MBlock can do nothing but destroy. Together, they balanced each other out and granted the Gaiavore its most terrifying ability. By using MBlock's power, it could consume matter and energy, and then it would use Missingno's power to incorporate that matter and energy into itself, essentially making it a constantly growing monster planet made from pieces of other planets. The souls of the people the Gaiavore devoured were reincarnated within it in forms chosen by the Ruler of Evil, so that they might better serve it. In this manner, the Ruler sought to create its perfect world, one where all were free and at the same time slaves to its will…by devouring the Omniverse, so that its weapon would _become_ the Omniverse."

"Yikes!" Ash said, more than a little alarmed. "How do you _stop_ something like that?"

"With great difficulty," Tracey said.

"The Guardians attempted to destroy it before it got too powerful, but when Giratina, for whatever reason, decided to betray Arceus-" Pikachu started.

"I thought we agreed it was because Giratina was pissed Arceus loved Mew more than her," Leo said.

"No, we agreed that was just one possible theory," Pikachu said sharply.

"No, that's the real reason Giratina did it," Lily corrected. "Mother says it's proof of how pointless and stupid love is."

Pikachu blinked. "Really?" Lily nodded. "Huh. Well, I guess you'd know better than us…" He frowned, looking somewhat disgruntled by this revelation.

"Told you so," Leo said smugly.

"Giratina's defection ruined their plans?" Ash prompted.

Oak nodded. "The entire Celestial Heavens were thrown into disarray by her treachery. Giratina had been one of Arceus's most trusted and powerful lieutenants, and the secrets and information she delivered to the Ruler of Evil almost spelled the end of the Guardians. What's more, when she left the Heavens, Giratina took with her a piece of Celestial technology that could be used to increase the Gaiavore's power considerably, sending it on a feeding frenzy throughout the Omniverse and consuming countless universes. The Ruler rewarded Giratina for this by making her its second-in-command and consort, giving her the love and respect she felt that Arceus had denied her."

"Ew," Leo said.

"Yeah, that is kind of gross," Tracey agreed.

"She believed it was better to rule in hell than serve in heaven," Sasha commented.

"She actually said something a lot like that later, during her trial," Lily said.

"That's right, the bad guys were defeated," Ash realized. "Otherwise we wouldn't be here. So…how'd they do it? Things sounded pretty bad for the Guardians, what with Giratina's betrayal and a giant universe-eater on the loose."

"Things were pretty bad. But they managed to rally admirably despite their adversity and rose to the occasion, completing their _own_ ultimate weapon and bringing it to bear against the Gaiavore," Oak said.

"What was it?" Ash asked.

"The records aren't very clear," Oak admitted. "However, it was apparently powered by love, and used that love as a weapon of sorts."

Ash blinked. "Love?"

"Sure. It's one of the strongest energy sources there is," Tracey said.

"The Ruler claimed that it was doing what it did because it loved everyone and wanted them all to live together in happiness and unity," Oak said. "But the fact that it was using a weapon like the Gaiavore, which greedily consumed everything to make its master's selfish dreams a reality, proved the lie in its ideology. True love, which gives freely and cannot exist without the hearts of others, was naturally anathema to something like that. The Guardians' weapon channeled the pure love of everyone in the Omniverse into the Gaiavore, essentially giving it indigestion and forcing it to 'regurgitate' everything it had consumed, restoring the worlds and weakening the Ruler of Evil in the process. The Guardians took advantage of this to engage the Ruler's stunned forces in one last battle, defeating them in a clash the likes of which the Omniverse has never seen before and hopefully never shall again. The Ruler of Evil and its treacherous consort were defeated personally by the Guardians of Light and Hope and the Dragon God King, and they brought the fiends in chains before Arceus to receive His judgment."

Lily blinked. "Oh! Is that how it happened? Mother was always somewhat vague when she told me how Giratina and her lord were defeated and cast into the Abyss. She said the Guardians had cheated somehow. Is love really that powerful, then?"

Sasha nodded. "Very much so. It can give a Pokemon the strength to do incredible things…scale mountains, trek through blizzards, battle opponents they cannot possibly hope to defeat…and win, nonetheless. Love can give people the strength they need to do just about anything that is necessary to protect the people that are precious to them."

"Wow…" Lily said. "It sounds much stronger than Mother always described it to be. She always said it was just a lie and a trick the weak and foolish used to deceive themselves as to their utter pointlessness in the scheme of things."

"It doesn't surprise me that Bellum would say something like that. I don't think she's even capable of love…" Pikachu said.

Lily sighed. "It seems there is yet another thing I need to learn to be a 'normal' Pokemon…Leo! Can you teach me about love, too?"

There was a long, awkward pause. "Lily," Pikachu said finally. "I'm not sure you really understand what you just-"

"Yes," Leo said.

"Leo!" Pikachu hissed.

"I promised her I'd teach her about all the good things in life she's missed out on due to being stuck with her ice bitch of a mom all these centuries," Leo said stubbornly. "And if that means I'm gonna teach her about love too, so be it."

"Thank you, Leo," Lily said gratefully.

"Heh, no problem," Leo said. _Oh good, she's smiling. I like it when she smiles. She should do it more often. Well, I'm gonna do my best to see to it that she does, so she can leave her past with that bitch behind!_

"But what do you know of love?" Sasha asked skeptically.

"I've seen my parents have it," Leo said. "Plus, I've watched hundreds of movies and television shows, played countless video games, and engaged in a few…ah…dating simulations. Those have to count for something, right?"

"There is a difference between actual love and what you see in your 'entertainment,'" Sasha pointed out.

"Not always," Leo countered. "Depends on the medium and the way it's presented. I know there's a difference, but if I teach Lily enough about the theory, then when love eventually happens to her she'll recognize it and have at least some idea about what to do about it…unlike _some_ people I know."

Ash blinked, slowly realizing Leo was talking about him. "Hey!"

Pikachu chuckled. "Good point, Leo. Maybe you should teach Ash a bit about love too, so he'll finally realize that's what he feels for Misty and marry her already."

"I was talking about you too," Leo said.

Pikachu blinked. "What? Oh for the love of…Leo, for the last time, I am _not_ interested in that ninja!"

Leo chuckled. "Yeah, sure you're not."

"That's what _I_ keep saying about Misty. Nobody believes me either," Ash complained.

"That's because you are in love and are just denying it. That's why I think Pikachu is too," Leo said.

Pikachu turned red, though whether it was from anger or embarrassment was unclear. "Leo! I'm a samurai and she's a ninja!"

"Exactly! That means you guys already have lots of chemistry!" Leo said.

"Yeah! The _bad_ kind of chemistry! Our kinds have been rivals for generations! We have completely different ways of looking at life and incompatible codes of honor!" Pikachu protested. "There's no way we could be together, even if I were interested in her, which I'm _not! _She's the wrong sort of womon for me! Plus, what would my parents think?"

"Oh, that just gives you lots of obstacles to overcome in your romance and also gives you the whole 'star-crossed lovers' vibe. Everyone loves those!" Leo said.

"Leo, it was _just one kiss!_ And she was using it to distract me!" Pikachu yelled in exasperation. "There was no romance behind it whatsoever!"

"Maybe not at first…but one kiss can become many…and hey, both of you enjoyed it, didn't you?" Leo asked, winking. "If you know what I mean…"

Pikachu groaned and put his face in his paws. "Why do I even bother?"

Lily blinked. "So…part of love is vehemently claiming you _aren't_ in love?"

"Only if you're in denial," Leo said. "If you have feelings for someone, it's probably best to be upfront and open about it to save yourself and everyone else some grief."

"How do I know if I have 'feelings?'" Lily asked.

"Well-" Leo started.

"That's a lesson that'll have to wait for another day, because we were in the middle of a story," snapped the annoyed Oak.

"Oh, right. Sorry Professor," Leo apologized.

"So the Ruler of Evil, Giratina, and the other demons were put on trial?" Ash prompted.

Oak nodded. "Arceus said they that they had all committed great crimes…but He was willing to forgive them and allow them to work off their debt to the Omniverse rather than rotting in a prison universe if they were truly sorry and promised not to do anything like that again. Naturally, almost all of them apologized, but Arceus could see into their hearts and only pardoned the ones that truly meant it. All the others were banished to the universe where this had all started, and Palkia and Dialga severed all the links connecting it to other universes and timelines save for one, which they sealed behind a mighty door that was cast—along with the keys that could open it--into a dimensional rift the twin dragons created, so that none of the remaining sympathizers for the Ruler of Evil's plight would ever be able to find it and release it. That door tumbled through space and time before eventually falling to Earth. The rest, you already know."

"As for the people of the Omniverse, things went back to normal…with one major change," Pikachu said. "Arceus decided that the Ruler of Evil's view on life, while flawed, had a few good points, so changed policy on how the Omniverse was run. The majority of the gods and Guardians were withdrawn from the worlds, save for certain necessary guardian deities who had to maintain balance and things like that, and instituted a system in which, for the most part, all of us could live as we desired without too much meddling from on high."

"Or at least, without any _obvious_ meddling. They still subtly manipulate us all the time, or so the conspiracy theorists say," Leo said, glancing around suspiciously.

"But since we'd never know if they were controlling us or if we're really doing whatever we want anyway, it at least _looks_ as if free will makes a difference, and most of the time appearances are all that matters," Tracey said. "So it's all right, for the most part."

"The universe the Ruler and its cronies were sealed into became known as the Abyss, since it was something things were thrown into and not expected to come out of. Theoretically, its prisoners are only supposed to be there until they truly repent and ask for forgiveness…but so far that hasn't happened yet, and their hatred and bitterness have twisted that universe into the worst of hells, a place reflecting their true hearts," Lily said.

"No wonder Treasure Town's so fucked up, if it's built over the portal to _that_ place," Leo said, shaking his head.

"And I bet things will get a lot worse if the Nihilators get that door open…but why do they even want the Ruler of Evil to begin with? Are they 'sympathizers' or do they just want to use its power to fulfill their goals? And…" Ash frowned. "What happened to that Gaiavore thing? Did the Guardians destroy it?"

"Unfortunately, no," Oak said. "Due to its nature, it is indestructible. Any damage they did to it would just be repaired by the power of Missingno. Additionally, after the defeat of the Ruler of Evil, it…vanished. Nobody could figure out where it went. Even now, nobody knows where it is."

Ash's eyes widened in horror. "Wait...you mean that thing's still out there, possibly chowing down on worlds, and nobody even knows?!"

"Relax," Tracey said. "At the moment, it's harmless."

Pikachu nodded. "The Ruler of Evil was the only entity that could control the Gaiavore, and the only one that could tell it when to use its power. Without its master, the Gaiavore is dormant, incapable of eating anything. So it's drifting through space, yes…but sleeping very deeply. It will probably never wake up."

"It might if its master returned, though…" Ash pointed out. "Could the Nihilators have found the Gaiavore? Is that why they're trying to free the Ruler of Evil?"

Oak frowned. "The chances of them finding _that_ thing in all the vastness of the Omniverse is rather unlikely…"

"Which means it's practically a given that they have," Leo concluded knowingly.

"I hate to admit it, but you're probably right," Pikachu said unhappily. "You tend to be about things like this."

"If the Nihilators manage to awaken the Gaiavore, then that will be the end for all of us," Lily said. "This world, which I have barely started to truly enjoy, will be doomed…"

"_Could_ they control the Gaiavore, though? Or the Ruler of Evil?" Sasha wondered. "The Ruler is _very_ powerful, hence how it has earned its title. Even the mightiest of deities barely managed to defeat it. Could Oblivion's Shadow find a way to release such a power without it destroying him?"

"If anyone can find a way, he can," Ash said resolutely. He didn't know how he knew this, or why this icy certainty made his stomach turn, but he was positive that it was true.

"It could be possible," Lily agreed, confirming his hypothesis. "While all the demons in the Abyss are prisoners, the majority of them roam about freely in their gaol, save for the strongest, who were individually sealed with complex locks and spells impossible for their minions to undo to keep them from breaking open the gateway from the other side. Both Giratina and the Ruler itself are sealed thusly. If the Nihilators could somehow remove the Ruler from the Abyss without actually releasing it, they might be able to channel its power to control the Gaiavore. Assuming they _have_ the Gaiavore, that is."

"They do. That's the way these things always work," Leo said. "And even if they don't have it physically, they must at least have some idea where it is or how to find it."

"Which means our mission has a heightened level of urgency to it," Pikachu said. "We have to find the remaining Star Badges, defeat the Nihilators and take back their stars, then use them to renew the seal on the Door to keep anyone from freeing the Ruler of Evil and its minions and stop them from possibly freeing themselves. I admit it's high stakes and a lot of pressure for a half-dozen Pokemon like us to deal with…but I believe it's something we're capable of doing."

"And even if we're not, we're probably the only ones who can do anything about it, since the stronger and more experienced Rescue Teams are stuck back in Kanjohenn preparing for the barbarian attack," Ash said. "And our friend Latias, who's currently hosting the spirit of the being who helped _stop_ this Ruler of Evil in the first place, can't do much either since whoever screwed up the ritual that summoned her here has also done something to twist up her power so she can't even leave the continent." They had discovered this latest bit of unwelcome news in one of their most recent e-mail exchanges with their friends in Pokemon Square. Leo had said at the time that it sounded like a ridiculously contrived way of creating a drama-preserving handicap and a way to 'hold back the phlebotinum.' Nobody had any idea what phlebotinum was, but they couldn't help agreeing with him.

"Perhaps we should have tried harder to convince Wes and Zoro and the others to stick around…" Sasha said. "They might have been useful."

"A bit too late now. They've already settled in at Pokemon Square and seem to be enjoying themselves, we can't just ask them to get up and come all the way back here after they so kindly agreed to go help our friends to begin with," Pikachu said. "And at least we aren't _completely_ alone in this. All of our friends know what we're up to and are doing their best to support us in fighting the Nihilators by stopping their proxies, the barbarians, from destroying Pokemon Square." He frowned. "They seemed rather evasive when I asked why the barbarians want to destroy town, though."

"Maybe the town actually hides the entrance to a supercomputer at the Earth's core that controls everything on the planet," Leo suggested.

Pikachu stared at him blankly. "…Okay, you've said some crazy things in the past, but what gave you _that_ idea?"

"Read it on a rumor thread on the Internet. Relax, I don't buy it…something like that's too way out there even for me!" Leo said. "Anyway, aren't those dragon dudes going to help out too?"

"The Draconian Empire? Yeah, Nuken's having his spies and agents worldwide try to find the location of any star-shaped jewels that might be the last Star Badge, as well as any Nihilator bases, in hopes of weakening their influence and possibly finding where they're hiding Misty and Gardevoir, the other Badges…and their leader, Oblivion's Shadow," Pikachu said. "I'm a little impressed he's committing so many resources to finding the Nihilators and protecting Pokemon Square. We haven't exactly gotten along well in the past, but Rayquaza must have insisted he do whatever he could to help out."

"That, or maybe he's just doing us a favor because his kid's on our team," Leo said, winking at Lily. "How's it feel to be the long-lost daughter of one of the most powerful Ghosts in the world? Er, not that you weren't already, what with your mom being a really strong witch, but your dad's got a ton of political clout and effectively runs a globe-spanning empire, which is nothing to sneeze at either."

Lily blinked. "Oh? I'm…still trying to figure out how I feel about that." When e-mail exchanges had revealed that she was actually the daughter of Nuken, Rayquaza's majordomo and leader of the Draconian Empire's armies, she hadn't been certain how she was supposed to feel. The idea of having a father was utterly alien to her. All her unlife she had only known one parent, and it had never occurred to her that Bellum might have needed someone else to create her. The only time she had brought it up, her mother had beaten her so horribly that even B agreed she should never mention it again. And now learning that she had another parent she had never met who had apparently been spending the last few hundred years desperately trying to find her and very much wanted to spend time with her and give her a life better than the one she had known with Bellum was…somewhat terrifying, to be honest. Even more of a foreign concept than leaving Mother for good and joining Pokemon who claimed to be her friends and honestly seemed to care about her.

So when they had received an email from Nuken insisting that he was going to send someone over to pick her up and take her to Sky Tower, she had surprised even herself by saying, "No." She had rarely said that to anyone before. Mother hadn't let her. Nuken hadn't seemed too happy with her refusal either, and had demanded an explanation. The best one she could come up with was that she had just escaped one rather controlling parent and was not keen to become the property of another, that she had no idea who he was and was uncertain she was ready to trust him, and—most importantly—that she was with friends now, who needed her and were doing their best to open the wide world to her and make her feel like she belonged. She wasn't ready to give that up just yet. Nuken had been rather upset and angry by this, but had respected her wishes and said she could continue her journey if that's what she really wanted. (Actually, Missy had written that bit, Nuken had intended to send dragons over anyway to drag Lily to the Sky Pillar because damn it he had been searching for her this long he wasn't going to let her go just because she didn't feel like seeing him at the moment. Rayquaza had managed to talk him out of it, though only barely, pointing out it wouldn't make an especially good first impression and would make Lily think her father was a monster too. Nuken had retorted that he _was_ a monster, just one that happened to be on the opposite side from the other monsters. Rayquaza hadn't really been sure how to reply to that.)

"Anyway, the gist of it is that we're not as alone in this as we might think we are," Pikachu said.

"Except in reality we are as alone as we think we are, because no matter what the ancillary characters do we're still the ones who have to do all the important stuff relating to the main plot, and are the ones who'll save the day in the end," Leo said.

Pikachu's eye twitched. "That's a very pessimistic way of looking at it, Leo."

"Oh don't get me wrong, I'm sure we'll win regardless, it's just annoying that it's all going to be up to us no matter what everyone else does," Leo said.

Sasha rolled her eyes. "That's a rather egocentric view."

"And the right one. We've got the fate of the world on our shoulders. That automatically makes it all about us to a certain extent, doesn't it?" Leo asked. They weren't really sure how to argue with that.

Ash frowned. "There's still a couple things I don't quite understand about this 'Ruler of Evil' business…why do we keep calling the Ruler an 'it?' Doesn't it have a gender? Or a name for that matter?"

"If the Ruler did have a name or a gender, none of us know it," Oak said. "Its true identity was stricken from the history records for some reason."

"Sounds like a cover-up to me…" Leo muttered.

"Why would they want to hide something like that?" Pikachu countered.

"We know they did, which means they must have had a reason…which means there's something they know that we don't," Leo replied. "And now I want to know it, too."

"Maybe we'll find out if and when we actually run into the Ruler…though I hope we do not," Sasha said.

"Which means we probably will," Leo said pessimistically.

"Another thing, why is it called the 'Ruler of Evil?' Is that a name people later gave it, or something it called itself?" Ash asked.

"Both," Oak said. "We call it the Ruler of Evil now because we don't know its true name and because of what it did. Many people started calling it the 'Ruler of Evil' back during the Crisis Wars too, since it was leading the biggest army of demons in the history of the Omniverse and striving to destroy everything Arceus and His kin have built over the eons. The Ruler actually accepted this title and allowed people to call it that, saying that if someone like Arceus was considered 'good,' then it would much rather be labeled 'evil.' As Sasha said before…better to rule in hell than serve in heaven, and all that."

"I can't really see why so many people would think that," Ash confessed. "I mean, its _hell._ Yeah, you're in charge of it, but…well, its hell, so it kind of sucks. What's wrong with serving in heaven?"

"Maybe some people just have trouble taking orders?" Leo suggested.

"Or don't like the gods. I agree though, it's a sentiment I find difficult to understand, too," Pikachu said. "While I admit I'm not always fond of our local deities—even the ones empowering my sword!—I still respect and believe in them for the most part, since I know they're here to protect us, and they generally do, the occasional feud and natural disaster notwithstanding."

"Perhaps they feel they will be more powerful by choosing another path…and power is something that a great many people desire…like my mother," Lily said sadly. Tiny sucked his pacifier, though it was unclear if he was commiserating with Lily, saying that he wanted power too, or was just hungry.

"That could be it," Ash admitted. "But there's still one last thing I don't get…"

"What's that?" Oak asked.

"Why didn't Arceus do anything?" Ash asked. "From how you described it, it sounded like the Guardians and other gods are the ones who did all the fighting against the Ruler of Evil. If Arceus is really as powerful as everyone says He is, why didn't He just stop the Ruler of Evil at the very beginning, preventing all that destruction and keeping the Crisis Wars from going on for so long?"

"People have been asking that question for ages, actually," Tracey said. "Nobody's completely sure of the answer."

"Mother said it was because Arceus is cruel and uncaring and doesn't give a damn about His creation, and that our suffering amuses Him," Lily said.

"That's _one_ interpretation," Pikachu said in a tone of voice that implied he didn't believe it for a second and if he ever heard it brought up again someone would be getting a taste of his blade. And having electricity conducted down your tongue _hurt._

"Theologians have come up with a more palatable explanation over the years," Oak said.

"Ooh, I know this one," Leo said. "It's the analogy about Poke' and grass, right?"

Oak nodded. "That it is."

"Poke' and grass?" asked a confused Ash.

Leo nodded. "Yeah, as a metaphor for why Arceus didn't do much during the Crisis Wars and still lets the Guardians do most of the work these days. Say you're in a grassy meadow and you see a Poke' lying on the ground. Would you pick it up?"

"Assuming my wallet isn't already full, then yeah, I would," Ash said.

"Okay. Could you do it without touching, bending, or crushing a single blade of grass?" Leo asked.

Ash paused. "Huh. No, I don't think…wait, maybe if I…no, that wouldn't work, but perhaps…no, no, but maybe…hmm. What if i-"

"No, you can't," Leo said in annoyance, losing his patience.

"I could if I were Psychic," Ash said.

"Yes, but you're not, and you'd probably bump some of the grass blades with the coin as you levitated it into the air. Now, imagine that you were Arceus, the Poke' was the Ruler of Evil—or just about anything else, for that matter—and the blades of grass are universes. Do you get my drift?" Leo asked.

Ash thought about it for a long moment. "So…you're saying that Arceus didn't do anything because the Ruler of Evil was some spare change He lost and if He picked it up He'd ruin his front lawn?" Everyone facefaulted.

"Well," Oak said loudly, changing the subject. "With any luck the six of you will be able to keep that forbidden Door from opening so the Ruler of Evil and all its little friends can go on ruling their private hell," Oak said.

"And the next step to doing that is going to Zero Isle and getting that Star Badge," said Tracey. "As we said before, you're going to need a ship to get there, so you'll have to proposition one of the sailors down in town. There'll probably be lots of them in the pubs by the harbor after sundown. The only problem, other than Ponytaing up enough cash to convince them to take you to a dangerous and forbidden island, is…"

"That we're going to have to go into Treasure Town again, which is even more volatile than ever before," Pikachu sighed. "Wonderful."

"I suppose Don Wiggly and the Nihilators are still looking for us?" Ash asked.

Oak nodded. "I'm afraid so."

"Then we'll just have to disguise ourselves again," Leo said, rummaging in his shell. "Good thing I've still got my disguise kit!" Ash and Pikachu groaned.

"Oh, if we're going in disguise, you won't need a kit," Lily said. She pulled out her spellbook. "I know a good disguise spell that can clothe us in illusion and make us look as if we were different Pokemon than what we really are."

Ash perked up at this. "Is that so? Well, if it means I don't have to walk around on all fours again, I'm all for it. The town smells a lot worse at street level, let me tell you. And I kept stepping on all these really sharp things…"

"And maybe I don't have to bind my tail up," Pikachu said in relief. "That was one of the most painful parts about pretending to be a Plusle or Minun."

Leo sagged in disappointment. "Awww, I was looking forward to doing Ash up to look like an Arcanine."

"Yeah, and I had some new face paint I wanted to try," Tracey said, equally disappointed.

"Maybe some other time," Oak said. "When you don't have a witch who conveniently knows glamour magic to compete with."

"So after we rest up a little and it gets late, we'll get into disguise and head to Treasure Town," Ash decided. "I don't particularly like the idea of walking around there after dark, but if it's our best chance to find a ship, then that's what we'll have to do."

"If it is all right with you, I would like to stay behind. Not for the next leg of the journey, but just while you go into town," Sasha said. "You know I don't do well with crowds, and what with the smell and the incessant screaming feeling that something terrible is going to happen, I'm not sure my nerves would be able to handle it. You can pick me up after you get your ship by having Lily open a portal, that should be relatively easy to do."

Lily nodded. "I think I can manage that."

Pikachu frowned. "I'd prefer it if you came with us—your disaster sense might come in handy in a place as dangerous as Treasure Town—but if you feel it would put you that much on edge, I suppose you could wait here."

"Thank you," Sasha said gratefully.

"While you're at it, I don't suppose you could take care of Tiny for me?" Tiny glared at Ash. "What? Treasure Town's no place for a kid!"

"Actually, there's lots of kids in Treasure Town," Leo said. "The problem is that they're all terrifying cannibalistic psychos, which…isn't that different from what Tiny is, actually. Huh. He might blend in, come to think of it."

"Hey!" Ash protested.

"I think Leo may have a point, Ash. Tiny's demonstrated he's not exactly a helpless infant," Pikachu said grudgingly. "He may actually be tougher than most of your other kids were at his age."

Leo nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I think those creepy kids in Treasure Town would be too frightened of him to try and do anything to him. Tiny's freaking terrifying at times!" Tiny looked at Leo and sucked on his pacifier ominously. The Squirtle shuddered.

"And in any event, it's a sure bet that he'll dig his way out and come looking for you the instant you leave," Sasha pointed out. "You know he doesn't trust anyone else." Tiny nodded in agreement.

Ash sighed, giving in. "Okay, fine, I guess Tiny can come too…but you're going to stick very close to me at all times, okay? And no eating anything! I know I've told you not to eat stuff off the ground before, but Treasure Town's such a nasty place I wouldn't be surprised if you choked on something and died! Or got poisoned. Or sick. Or turned into a monster like those other kids. Considering that place, we can't take any chances. Do you understand?" Tiny nodded reluctantly.

"So what kind of disguise are you going to put on us?" Pikachu asked Lily.

"I can cast an illusion on each of us so we will resemble another Pokemon from our Egg Group," the witch explained.

"That's it?" Leo asked in disappointment. "Awww, I was hoping I could be a Treecko!"

"Why?" Sasha asked.

"Because Treecko are hardcore!" Leo exulted.

Ash nodded, thinking of Lucas back home. "He's right, they are. Hmm…I wonder what Lucas would look like with sunglasses…"

"Or Leo with a twig in his mouth?" Pikachu offered.

Leo frowned. "Why would I stick a twig in my mouth?"

"To look cooler?" Pikachu suggested.

Leo considered this. "…Huh. You think I would? Hmm, maybe I should then..."

Pikachu sweatdropped. "What have I just done?"

…

A bit later…

A rather unusual group of Pokemon was walking through the evening streets of Treasure Town. The unusual thing about them was that they were walking through the evening streets of Treasure Town. Nobody did that except for idiots, and the things that prowled when the sun went down. The fact that there was a group of Pokemon walking about in spite of this was such a novelty that they remained relatively unmolested. That and the fact that whenever a band of cutthroats and murderers and rapists and cannibal children tried to attack them from the shadows, the group dispatched them with startling ease.

"And I thought this place was bad before," Pikachu commented as he wiped the blood off his sword, the latest pack of scavengers running with their tails between their legs. Those whose tails weren't cut off and lying on the ground somewhere, that is.

"Is this as bad as Genocide City?" Leo asked Lily.

The ghost shook her head, looking pale. "No…but it's getting there…" She shuddered.

"I thought you weren't afraid of the dark," Pikachu commented, sheathing his sword.

"I'm not," Lily replied. "It's what's hiding in it that's more troubling."

"Tiny, stop gnawing on that body! I told you, there's no telling where _anything_ in this town has been, or what germs it might be carrying!" Ash snapped at Tiny, who grunted and reluctantly let go of the leg he had been gnawing on. "Oy…I have no idea how you're going to fit in with your brother and sisters, none of _them_ think it's all right to try and eat other Pokemon. Am I doing something wrong with you? Am I not being a good enough parent? Maybe it's the fact that Sasha's the closest thing you have to a mothering figure at the moment, which doesn't help because you hate her as much as everyone else and she's not an ideal role model due to her taste for Pokemon flesh." Tiny shrugged and sucked his pacifier.

Team Aurabolt were currently wandering the streets in disguise so that none of the Nihilators or Don Wiggly's thugs that might be about would recognize them. (Not that the latter had ever seen them in their true forms, but considering there was a good chance that the Don was collaborating with the Nihilators, they couldn't rule out the possibility that he knew what they really looked like by now.) Thanks to Lily's glamour spells, none of the five heroes looked anything like their true forms, which put them a step above Leo's disguise kit, which, while excellent, had still forced them to take on the appearances of Pokemon with similar body types. That wasn't a problem with Lily's magic. Thanks to her enchantments, Ash was now a fiery Infernape, Pikachu was a Mawile with his sword concealed in his faux steel horns, Leo was a rather chubby Totodile, Tiny was a baby Kangaskhan, and Lily was a Koffing. The witch had been forced to leave her hat in Ash's bag, much to her reluctance, even though it had been pointed out that a Koffing would look rather conspicuous wearing something like that. Lily had almost argued that they looked rather conspicuous walking around in a large group after dark anyway, but she was still too timid and used to not talking back from her years with Bellum to speak her mind on this matter.

"That was the sixth time we've been attacked in the last half-hour…wouldn't these guys get the hint that we're too tough for them by now?" Ash commented.

"If they were smart enough for pattern recognition, would they really be living in a place like Treasure Town?" Pikachu said.

"Good point," Ash said.

"We're almost to the harbor," Leo said. "Once we get there, we should have fewer random encounters to worry about."

"That's good," Lily said.

"No, it's bad! Fewer random encounters means less EXP!" Leo said. "On the other hand, we're almost guaranteed to get into a bar fight, so that should make up for it."

"What makes you think we're going to get into a bar fight? We're just here to find a ship that can take us to Zero Isle, not start a brawl," Pikachu said.

"Dude, whenever a group of heroes walks into a bar, a brawl is inevitable. Brawls happen all the time, anyway. It's what you get when you cram too many drunken grouchy Pokemon in one place at the same time. They only take the slightest trigger to set off, and guys like us are a good excuse to have one," Leo said. Pikachu wanted to argue, but he knew that Leo was right. His father had told him about more than a few bar fights he'd been in, and commented that they seemed to be an inevitable part of adventuring.

"If there's going to be a fight, then let's do our best to stay out of it," Pikachu said. "Like I said, we're here to find a captain, get a ship, and sail out of here. And after that, pray we never have to come back to Treasure Town again for a very long time."

Ash nodded uneasily. "Amen to that."

As had been noted before, Treasure Town was not a nice place, and it felt even nastier now. The omnipresent air of vague menace (and rather unpleasant odors) had congealed into a sense of outright malice that bore down on them like a hammer, pressing down on them mercilessly as if its presence alone was enough to crush its victims under its weight, causing the team to feel somewhat tired and worn-out. Ash reflected that Sasha had been right to stay behind. His Aura-senses weren't quite as well-tuned as Sasha's disaster-detecting skills at predicting danger, but he was still feeling a bit jumpy and on edge, like something was lying in wait around every corner to kill them. (Usually something was, which didn't really do much to help his fraying nerves.) He would be perfectly happy to sail out of town and spend as much time as possible away from it at sea…although he couldn't help wondering what kind of crew they'd have to deal with, considering that any Pokemon who bothered coming to a place like this to begin with might not necessarily be on the friendly or trustworthy side.

After a few more failed muggings and assassination attempts, they reached the port, where they had fewer footpads and murderers to worry about because they were all afraid of the hardened and violent sailors that frequented the harborside taverns and the things that sometimes crawled out of the polluted waters at night. Since the people of Treasure Town didn't bother wasting valuable money or fuel on putting up lamps at night, it was very dark, and in the gloom an object dangling from the signpost over the nearest tavern door looked like the severed head of a Dragonite. "'The Dragonite's Head,'" Pikachu read off the signpost, squinting to make out the almost illegible poorly-written letters in the murk. "And they have a wooden carving of a Dragonite's head to go with the tavern's theme. How…quaint…"

"Pikachu," Leo said, looking sick. "That's not a carving."

Pikachu blanched. "You mean…" Tiny sucked his pacifier.

"I don't think a piece of wood would smell that much," Ash said quietly.

"Or have flesh sloughing off it, or an eyeball dangling from a socket, or worms wriggling around-" Lily started.

"That's more than I really need to hear," Pikachu interrupted quickly. His ears twitched as he heard smashing glass and bloodcurdling screams from within the tavern. One of the windows shattered and a Walrein was flung out, landing in the water several meters away. He screamed as the acidic liquid consumed him, his flesh rapidly dissolving into nothing. The tavern door fell off its hinges (actually, it didn't have hinges because it got knocked down at least once a night, so the owner just propped it back up until it fell over again to save money) as a Hitmonchan, Hitmontop, and Hitmonlee rolled out, feet and fists flying as they beat the crap out of a screaming Tyrogue pinned down in the middle of them. Team Aurabolt slowly stepped back so as not to get caught in the scuffle.

"Okay," Ash said after a moment. "Maybe we should try the one next door."

There was a tremendous roar, and the door of the tavern next door fell off and all the windows broke as burly intoxicated Pokemon tumbled out and viciously tore into each other, continuing a fight there hadn't been enough room for inside the bar. The heroes sweatdropped. "Yeah, I don't think that one's much better," Pikachu said.

"Well, maybe one of the other-" Ash started.

The tavern next to the one with the street brawl burst into flames. The one next to that caved in on itself. The one next to that spontaneously exploded. The one next to that vanished as it sunk into a pit that opened beneath it and closed itself up just as suddenly. The one next to that was frozen in a block of ice. The one next to _that_ launched into the air and burst in a flurry of vulgar and garish fireworks. And the one next to that one? Disappeared into a portal to another dimension. And you don't even want to know what happened to the one next to _that_. Team Aurabolt gawked. None of the fighting seamon gave any of this any notice. "…What just happened?" asked a very confused and alarmed Ash. Tiny sucked his pacifier in befuddlement.

"I think something's trying to tell us that this bar is the one we should try," Lily said.

"Talk about railroading…" Leo muttered.

"I've mentioned before that I really hate this town, right?" Pikachu groaned.

They cautiously walked around the fighting Fighting Pokemon and stepped over the open doorway into the bar. It looked like pretty much every other harborside dive in the entire Omniverse. It was dim, dank, covered in filth, had a rather unpleasant odor, and was full of very unpleasant-looking hardened sailor Pokemon either drinking more alcohol than was healthy, beating each other up, groping and otherwise molesting the miserable serving womon, or doing all three at once. There was even a drunken Ambipom swinging from the chandelier, shrieking madly as it splashed rum (and other things) all over the room, and a piano in one corner, except that the song being played was rather jarring and discordant due to one homicidal Machoke smashing the piano player's face into the keys repeatedly until they were stained red with blood. Several stuffed Dragonite heads in better state of preserve than the one outside were mounted on the wall. There was a mechanical Tauros in one corner that had been clothed in actual Dragonite skin, and as they watched a rowdy Gastrodon trying to ride it got bucked off and thrown across the room, where his head got stuck in the mouth of one of the mounted Dragonites. His inebriated friends laughed.

A surly Slowbro in an apron with a nasty squint stood behind the bar counter, wiping a grimy mug of broken glass with an equally grimy cloth and not cleaning it so much as spreading the dirt around. There was a broken mirror behind him, along with several racks full of bottles of alcoholic beverages encased in Light Screens. Any thirsty Pokemon that tried to break through the Light Screens and grab a bottle when the Slowbro wasn't looking found themselves telekinetically flung onto the counter where the bartender psychically squeezed their heads until blood gushed from every orifice, which he collected in a mug to add to the liquor later for flavoring. A few heads turned when Team Aurabolt walked into the room, but they quickly deemed them not worth dealing with at that moment and went back to their boozing and whoring and fighting.

"This…looks pretty much exactly like I had expected it to," Leo said wearily. "Maybe even a little worse."

"You know, I'm starting to wonder if Sasha was right, maybe we _should_ just leave that Badge alone," Ash muttered under his breath. Tiny sucked his pacifier in agreement.

Pikachu sighed. "We've come this far, we might as well carry through. And if we can't find anyone to help us, maybe we'll just steal a ship or something."

Ash gave him a surprised look. "You're suggesting we steal a boat? You? Mr. Honorable samurai warrior?"

"This town brings out the worst in everyone. Even me," Pikachu grunted.

"But we don't even know how to sail a ship," Lily said.

"I do," Leo said.

"Somehow that doesn't surprise me," said Pikachu.

Reluctantly, they started walking through the bar, careful not to step on anything (or anyone) or touch any of the rather unhinged-looking sailors. They didn't want to start a fight, or get caught up in one of the ones already going on. Pikachu grimaced as they passed by one of the mounted Dragonite heads, its expression frozen in a look of perpetual horror and agony. "This is disgusting…"

"Those poor dragons," Lily said sadly. "I didn't know people other than Mother did this to them."

"You think that's bad, you should see what some people do to Wailmer and Waillord," Leo said unhappily. "There's tons of Pokemon who say that humans were bastards and we're much better off without them. They never seem to notice that we can be pretty nasty too, sometimes."

"Do you think we might get back in Nuken's good books—or higher up in his bad books—if we told him about this? I bet he'd love to burn it to the ground," Ash said.

"This whole town could use a healthy dose of fire," Pikachu said cynically.

"Wow, you really are in a bad mood today," Ash noted.

Pikachu sighed. "Sorry. This place is getting to me. I'm beginning to think things I usually wouldn't."

"Well, hopefully once we reseal the Door, things will improve," Leo said.

"Even then, it will take a while before all the scars on these peoples' souls will truly heal," Lily said. "It may never be as good a town as you describe Pokemon Square to be."

"Nowhere is as good as Pokemon Square," Ash said loyally. "But pretty much anything is better than this place is right now."

"Except for Genocide City," Leo reminded him.

"Right. Except for that place," Ash admitted.

"So…I see lots of sailors here. Who should we approach first?" Pikachu asked.

"How about that old guy sitting in a corner by himself?" Leo suggested, pointing at a Metang sitting at a table all by himself, nursing a glass. All the other sailors seemed to be giving him a wide berth for some reason.

"Why him?" Ash asked.

"Because he's an old guy sitting in a corner by himself! Duh! Isn't that the only reason we need to approach him?" Leo asked. Pikachu frowned. Leo sighed. "Oh, fine, if you want more of a justification, how's this? He's drinking slowly and not making a big show of himself, which means he has more moderation and control than these other guys. His age indicates experience, which is always something good to have in a seamon. The fact that he's alone and everyone else is staying away from him indicates that he's somebody they all fear and respect…and someone like that is just the sort of captain we could use."

Pikachu was impressed. "Huh. Those are some pretty good points, Leo."

"Here's another one," Ash said, checking out the Metang's Aura. "His Aura is…something else. For one thing, he's stronger than pretty much everyone else in the bar. A _lot_ stronger. And his Aura…it's like it's made of living metal. A fury like molten metal held in check by an iron will and a steely determination. He's a mon on a mission."

"Much like us, then?" Lily said.

"Then maybe we can help each other out on our respective goals…" Pikachu said. "Let's go introduce ourselves."

They approached the old Metang. More sailors turned to look at them as they passed, suddenly finding them a lot more interesting due to the fact that they were walking towards the one Pokemon in the room not even they would dare start a fight with. The noise died down as everyone stopped what they were doing to watch Team Aurabolt as the five Pokemon pulled up wobbly and splintery chairs and cautiously sat down at the Metang's table. "Hey there," Ash said. "Mind if we buy you a drink, old-timer?"

The Metang looked up from his glass, and they all stiffened as he panned a single cold, calculating red orb over them. The Metang had all the traits of a hardened sailor, scratches and abrasions on his metallic surface and chips missing from his spikes due to years on the open ocean, a worn white captain's hat with a crack in the brim, and an eyepatch over his left eye. He also had a magnificent mustache that looked more like a curved silvery blade than a facial growth sprouting from beneath his spiky nose, with a mass of metallic scraps clinging to the lower front part of his disc-shaped body in approximation of a thick beard. The lower half of his body unhinged briefly to down the last of his drink, after which he treated the heroes to a terrifying metal-fanged grin. "I would appreciate that, friend," he said in a voice as calm as a stretch of still water…with the same implication of terrible things lurking in its depths. "I've finished this one."

There was a sense of disappointment and mingled relief in the air as the crowd realized that they weren't going to see a fight, so reluctantly went back to entertaining themselves. Ash signaled a harried-looking Hariyama waitress, who brought a new (as in, it had a (hopefully) unused drink in it, not that it was actually brand-new or anything, the owner couldn't afford any) glass for the Metang. She looked surprised, then grateful when Ash not only did not feel her up, but also gave her a rather generous tip. "Thank you kindly, Ash. You've saved me a Poke' or two," the Metang said as he started sipping his drink.

"Thanks…wait a minute, what did you just say?!" Ash said, stiffening in alarm.

The Metang put down his glass and offered them that cold, terrifying metal grin again. "I said thanks for the drink, Ash. Pikachu, you don't need to draw your sword, I'm not going to turn you in. Leo, yes, I can read your mind. Lily, I did not see through your spells, they're quite good disguises; they just don't shield your minds from someone like myself. And Tiny, I wouldn't eat that if I were you." Tiny reluctantly put whatever he had been about to stuff in his mouth down.

"…H-how did you know who we are?" Ash stammered.

"Weren't you listening? He said he read our minds!" Pikachu growled, grabbing the hilt of his sword, ready to draw it no matter what the Metang said.

"That's not very polite. I thought most Psychics were supposed to keep out of people's minds when they don't have permission, both to keep other people from distrusting and running them out of town because they learned too many secrets or because they might go mad from seeing what lies in so many heads," Lily said uneasily, worried by what the old sailor might have seen in her own thoughts.

The Metang chuckled softly. "I'm not most Psychics. I stopped observing that social nicety a long time ago out of necessity…and I have seen far too many things in the hearts of Pokemon to allow myself to go mad from looking into too many minds at once. Of course, the fact that I have two brains to help me better process data helps, too."

"You have the advantage of us, sir. You seem to know quite a lot about us…and we know nothing about you," Ash said cautiously as he tried to fortify his mind the way Chuck and Aaron's book had taught him to. He cursed himself for letting his guard down. If this guy were trying to kill him Psychically, he might have been dead by now…and as it were, there was still no guarantee he wouldn't try it anyway. There was something more than a little worrisome about the cold look in the Metang's eye.

The Metang took another sip. "You can call me Briney. Captain Briney. And you can all relax, because I have no intention of fighting you or revealing your identities. I am not your enemy. If I were, you would all be dead by now." Ash frowned. Briney? For some reason, the name caused the memory of a smiling bald old man with a thick beard and a Wingull riding on his shoulder, laughing as he transported Ash and his friends to a distant island, Dew-something-or-other, to flash through his mind. That jolly human bore little resemblance to this brooding, rather intimidating Steel-type, other than the facial hair.

"That's not exactly reassuring," Pikachu said, not loosening his grip on his sword.

"But it is rather hardcore," Leo said admiringly. Everyone gave him disturbed looks.

"If you're not our enemy, then does that make you our friend?" Lily said cautiously.

The Metang grinned. "You could say that. We share a common enemy…and you know what they say; the enemy of my enemy is my friend."

"Then…you're fighting _them_ too?" Ash asked in surprise.

"The Nihilators? Yes. Oh, don't look worried, nobody can hear what we're talking about, I set up Light Screens when you weren't looking so nobody can eavesdrop on us. We may talk freely without worrying about being overheard by prying ears," Briney said.

"Um…okay," Ash said, a little disturbed.

"Wow, you prepare in advance. Just like me! Except I probably have a lot more stuff," Leo said. "Speaking of which, I gotta remember to build a psychic blocker for my brain so people can't read my mind. There's stuff in there I don't want anyone to see!"

"Trust me when I say that I didn't want to see most of it either. There's…rather a lot of anime in there. And trivia. And somewhat disturbing fantasies. How has your brain not rotted away by now?" Briney wondered.

"I wonder the same thing all the time," Pikachu commented.

"So you are fighting the Nihilators just like we are?" Lily said. "Um…I used to be affiliated with them…you aren't going to try and kill me too, are you?"

"If we had met a few weeks ago, perhaps. But since your friends seem to trust you, and because what I can see of your mind seems to back that faith up, I have no quarrel with you at the moment," Briney said. Lily sighed in relief, as did Leo.

"If you can read our minds and know we're fighting the Nihilators, then you also must know the reason we came in here," Pikachu said.

Briney nodded. "I knew it from the moment you walked in here. You want me to take you to Zero Isle so you can find one of the Star Badges the Nihilators have been searching for for years. I've known for a while now that the Nihilators were looking for the Badges, but didn't know where any of them were or what exactly they were trying to do with them until I saw it in your minds. I'd be more than happy to help you get this one and the other Badge unaccounted for…since doing so will open the way to the Nihilators' headquarters, which I have sought for almost a decade now."

"You've been fighting them that long? We didn't even know they existed until very recently ourselves," Ash said, impressed.

"What's your beef with them? You must be really committed if you've spent this long fighting them," Leo said. "Is this a mission of vengeance or something?"

Briney nodded, the intensity in his eye wavering for a moment. "It is indeed. Ten years ago, the Nihilators killed my wife…and I have spent every waking moment since then looking for the mon who did it, so I can return the favor."

"…They killed your wife? That's terrible," Lily said, glancing for a moment at Leo.

The Squirtle gave her a subtle nod. He'd coached her to use that response at moments like this. All part of teaching the sheltered witch to understand empathy and feeling for others. "And kinda typical," he muttered. "Why is it the important womon in a guy's life that always get stuffed into fridges?"

"Why did they do that?" Ash asked.

"Payback for something I did to them, though I wasn't even aware of it at the time," Briney said. He sighed, and some of his hardness and sense of overwhelming power seemed to drain away. "I suppose, if we are going to be working together, you should know why I fight. It's only fair, since I know pretty much everything about you now."

"Yeah, we're still not happy about that," Pikachu commented.

"Yes, well, there isn't much you can do about it." Briney took another swig from his glass. "I used to run a shipping business that took supplies and valuables wherever they were needed. My home was in a port town far from here, both in the geographic and moral sense. It could be a bit rough and messy at times, but certainly not as bad as this Arceusawful place…and it was home, so I always felt comfortable there. Especially…with my wife, Peeko." He paused for a moment, as if gathering his strength.

"What kind of Pokemon was she?" Ash asked.

"Wingull. Sweetest, most beautiful bird I ever met," Briney said softly, a faraway look in his eye. "We were friends from childhood, and it seemed inevitable that we would one day get married…so, we did."

Lily blinked. "Wait…she was a Wingull? But you're-"

"A fine, strapping example of a reliable mon," Leo interrupted loudly. "It must have been a bit hard for her, having to contend with the sea for your heart."

Briney gave him a puzzled look. "What're you talking about? She was a Wingull. She came with me on my routes. My crew saw her as good luck, and we survived many a bad storm, sea monster, and pirate attack thanks to her presence."

Leo blushed. "Oh. Right."

"I doubt she would have stayed behind even if I told her to…much like me, she loved the sea, and was a bit of a free spirit. That, and she wanted to make sure I didn't make a lout of myself like most sailors did sooner or later. With her around, my crew and I always kept clean noses. We had to, otherwise she wouldn't make us dinner." He smiled sadly. "But one day, she came down sick, so I had no choice but to leave her home. My superstitions warned me to stay behind, that it wouldn't be safe to go out to sea without her…but my pocketbook said I had to; otherwise we wouldn't be able to eat that month. Running a ship and sailing the seas is a wonderful life, but it doesn't always pay well. So, despite my doubts, I bade her farewell and made ready to set sail. But as we tried to leave port, we found a number of smaller boats in our path…one of the local gangs of ruffians had been getting too big for their britches lately, and thought that by setting up an embargo they could extort ships for money to come in and out of the harbor." He grinned cruelly. "They made the mistake of trying that trick on the hardest, toughest old seaGrowlithe in town. I drove forward, engines going full steam, and rammed through their pathetic excuse of a blockade, using my Psychic powers to send their boats flying…oh, how we laughed as they flopped about in the water like Psyduck! Some of the idiots had never bothered to learn how to swim. What business had they had, going out on the water in a boat?" He sighed. "If only I had known then what I do now, I would have paid their pittance of a fee. Then maybe Peeko would still be alive…"

"…They killed her, then? For your spoiling their fun?" Ash asked quietly.

Rage and grief flashed in his eye. Briney gnashed his metal teeth with a terrible grinding noise and clutched his glass so hard it shattered, spilling liquor and bits of broken glass all over the table. "Killed her?! Oh yes, they killed her…but not after doing things so horrible to her that death was a blessing. You cannot imagine what her corpse looked like when I rushed home, having received a message that she had been murdered and leaving my ship and cargo in the paws of my first mate. I could barely even recognize her…"

"Actually, I probably could imagine what they did," Lily said softly. "I've seen it often enough as well."

"Me too," Leo said, recalling the horrors he had seen in Tarantulas' lab in the Tree of Beginning. "And I have a very active imagination."

"That you do," Briney whispered, trying to get his emotions back under control. "It's amazing your head hasn't split open yet what with all the ideas in it…did you know that she was…expecting when it happened? The egg was lost, naturally. I never knew until the coroner told me. She'd been saving it as a surprise…"

Nobody said anything for a moment, allowing the old mon to recover from his grief and pondering just how dark the depths of evil some Pokemon would go to for the sake of petty retribution. "What did you do to the Pokemon responsible?" Pikachu asked.

"Nothing, at first, on account of most of them having fled town…all but one, whom the authorities had managed to apprehend. He refused to talk about what had happened the night of the murder…that is, until I…_persuaded_ him," Briney said ominously. Nobody asked what that persuasion had entailed. None of them wanted to know.

"And what did he tell you?" Lily asked.

"Everything. How their gang had recently been approached by a representative from a mysterious organization that saw 'potential' in them and had asked them to pull the embargo stunt to see if they were ready for the big time. When I smashed through their blockade, they were afraid they'd miss out on the chance of a lifetime, so did…so did what they did to my precious Peeko…" he gasped, trying not to shake. "To prove they had what it took and were stone-cold killers and ready to be part of the organization."

"And that organization was the Nihilators," Leo said.

Briney nodded. "That's right. Sniveling and whimpering and wallowing in his own filth, the pathetic snitch told me that the Nihilators would save him, that they'd make me pay for getting in their way, that they were everywhere and all-powerful and controlled the world, and that I'd never be able to stop them." He grinned nastily. "He was forced to change his opinion when he was put on the execution platform."

"And since the Nihilators sheltered and encouraged the thugs who murdered your wife, you swore you wouldn't rest until all of them paid for what they'd done?" Ash guessed.

Briney nodded. "That's right. I've spent the last decade searching the world for those murderers. I've torn apart dozens of bases and slaughtered hundreds of Nihilators in my quest for vengeance, but so far, the last one has eluded me."

"…Whoa. You did that all by yourself?" asked an amazed Pikachu.

Briney nodded. "I've made myself into the Nihilators' public enemy number one. I don't want anyone else being hurt due to their association with me…that's how I lost my crew. The Nihilators killed them to try and dissuade me. If anything, it only made me _angrier._"

Leo looked around anxiously. "Then, uh, should we be sitting here with you? We don't exactly want to become targets either…"

"Aren't we already? I'm a defector and the rest of you are openly opposed to them," Lily pointed out.

"Yes, but they don't know that we're us while we're in these disguises," Leo said. "So if there's an assassination attempt, we could get caught in the crossfire!"

Briney laughed. "They can _try_ to kill me. They've been doing that for the last ten years. It hasn't worked out for them so far." Ash nodded. He didn't need to read the Metang's Aura to see how tough he was.

"How do you know you haven't already killed the last of the thugs who murdered your wife? You said you've already defeated hundreds of them," Pikachu asked.

"Maybe because he read their minds before killing them to make sure they weren't the ones he was looking for?" Leo suggested.

Briney shook his head. "No, the control chips in their heads have circuitry lined with Dark-type energy in them to keep anyone who isn't Psychic and doesn't also have a chip from reading their minds. It's a security measure to keep enemies like myself from learning their secrets, like where their main headquarters is. That's also why they all have cyanide pills, to kill themselves before I can…'interrogate' them properly."

Ash frowned. "Why do they do that, anyway? They keep talking about an afterlife retirement plan. What are they, religious extremists?"

"In a way, they are," Lily said. "Since Giratina is allied with the Nihilators, and is still a god despite her fallen status, she is able to draw the souls of deceased Nihilators through the crack in the Door so that they can have an afterlife of paradise in the Abyss."

"…Paradise? In the _Abyss?!_" Pikachu asked incredulously. "Isn't that an oxymoron?"

"Not necessarily," Briney interjected. "This town is far from a nice place to live, but the wealthy are still able to afford a more luxurious lifestyle than everyone else."

Lily nodded. "It is the same in the Abyss. The most powerful demons who were not individually imprisoned like Giratina and the Ruler of Evil were live fairly comfortably, mainly by exploiting the weaker demons under them. Giratina still holds a great deal of clout in the hierarchy of the Abyss in spite of her imprisonment, and as such is able to get the deceased Nihilators into the infernal upper class, granting them stronger bodies, new power, and as many weaker creatures to torment as they want…and since everyone in the Abyss is immortal and can never stay 'dead' for longer than a day, that means the torment can last a very long time indeed."

They gave her horrified looks. "Wait, then you're telling me that all the Nihilators we've killed are in their own personal _heaven?!_ They were rewarded for all the evil they've done, rather than punished?!" cried a shocked Pikachu.

"No way…" Ash whispered. "Does that mean we're helping them get what they want?"

"I'm afraid so…" Lily said.

Briney growled, gnashing his teeth again. "Then that means true justice has yet to be delivered to my wife's killers…have these last ten years been for naught?!"

"Well, look on the bright side, at least now they're hurting other people instead of us," Leo said. "Well, unless the Nihilators open the Door, allowing their newly demonic brethren to help them free the Ruler of Evil and destroy the world…crap."

"Lily, why didn't you tell us this before?!" Ash asked.

"You didn't ask…" she whimpered, shrinking back on herself. They groaned.

Leo sighed, seeing how upset they were making her. "Lily, it's no big deal, at least you told us this now instead of later. In the future, though, if you know or suspect something that the rest of us don't, be sure to tell us, no matter how inconsequential it might seem at the time. It could be more important than you think, and spell the difference between life and death. Got it?"

Lily nodded. "Yes, Leo. I'll try not to do that again."

"Okay. Now…Is there anything we can do to stop any more Nihilators from getting their little slice of hell?" Leo asked.

"I don't think so…" Lily said apologetically.

"Then we'll have to do our best not to kill as many Nihilators in the future…or at the very least, have Ash purify them, so they might decide to quit being evil," Pikachu said. "Ash, do you think you're ready to purify them?"

Ash nodded. "I've been studying my book, and I think I can use both purification techniques effectively now. I would have tried them on Tiny, but I don't want to do it without his permission." Tiny sucked his pacifier in agreement.

"It's what's best for him," Pikachu said.

"Who am I to decide that?" Ash asked.

"…His father figure?" Pikachu pointed out.

Ash paused. "Well. Yeah. Still…"

"…It doesn't matter," Briney muttered, getting their attention. "Even if I'm sending that bastard to a reward…I'll still kill him. I owe Peeko that much. And even if he's in paradise, he'll still be in hell. I'll at least have that cold comfort."

"Yeah, in hell…and in the aristocracy," Leo said bitterly. "Woohoo."

"How can they have aristocracy, anyway?" Ash asked. "I thought that they were all about equality or something."

"Oh, they are," Lily said. "But some are more equal than others."

"Ah," Ash said.

Leo sighed. "Isn't that always the way?"

Pikachu frowned. "So this last guy…you were starting to tell us. How exactly do you know he's still alive? How are you going to find him?"

"With this." Briney lifted his eyepatch to reveal…

"Hey, you have two eyes!" Ash realized. "You don't need that thing at all!"

"I think he does, Ash. That second eye doesn't look like his," Pikachu said.

Briney nodded. The eye under the patch was small, black, and beady, nothing like the glowing red orb in his other socket. "That's right, it's not my eye. It's Peeko's last eye, which I removed from her body and implanted into my empty socket so that a part of her would always be with me."

"…Ew. Just…ew," said a disgusted Ash.

"That is…romantic?" Lily asked, glancing at Leo.

"And kinda gross," Leo said.

"I had a practical reason for it, too," Briney said defensively, lowering the patch back into place. "You know that old story about how the last thing a person sees is burned into their optic nerves or something like that? It's true."

"…Oh! I get it. And since the last thing your wife saw was, presumably, her killers, by making her eye your own you'll be able to recognize them on sight, as well as sense if they're nearby thanks to your Psychic abilities," Lily realized.

Pikachu blinked. "Could something like that work?"

The ghost nodded. "Certainly, it's a form of sympathetic magic."

"Still kinda gross," Leo said.

"I didn't ask for your opinion," Briney said. "Whenever this eye starts aching, I know one of the murderers is near. Six thugs killed my wife, and five times this eye has ached, guiding me to one of the Nihilators responsible for her death. There's one left to go. I've searched and destroyed countless Nihilator bases looking for the last one, ending hundreds of their lives and derailing a number of their plans in the process, but I still haven't found him."

"How do you know they didn't kill him in an attempt to get you off their backs?" Pikachu asked. "Or that he didn't kill himself to avoid your killing him?"

"Because death isn't enough to stop the ache," Briney said. "Even after I've killed one of them, the eye still hurts until I completely destroy the body. So either the sixth one's corpse is lying around somewhere I haven't found yet, or he's still alive."

"…Okay, that's really creepy," Ash said.

"And also kind of romantic, since it's like his wife's ghost is goading him from beyond the grave to avenge her death," Leo said.

"So…it is romantic for someone to rip off a part of his lover, graft it onto himself, and use it to track down and violently destroy her killers?" Lily asked.

"Er…yeah. I think," Leo said.

"Hmm…I guess I still have a lot to learn about love," Lily said. "But at least I understand that you must have loved her very much, to continue this search after ten years."

Briney nodded. "That I did, lass. That I did."

"So you want to team up with us because you're hoping that by finding the Star Badges, we'll bump into the last killer," Pikachu said. "What'll happen when that happens, and you've…eliminated him?"

"I'm not sure, to be honest," Briney said. "I've considered killing myself so I can join Peeko. I've also thought of continuing my quest and destroying the rest of the Nihilators, since they goaded those punks into doing what they did in the first place."

"We hope you'll pursue the latter option. I don't like it when my friends die," Ash said.

Briney gave him a long look, and Ash realized with a sick feeling in his gut that the Metang had seen his latest flashback, along with everything else. "No," he said after a moment. "I don't suppose you do. Then again, who does?"

"If you're coming with us, then does that mean the sixth guy isn't here?" Leo asked. "I assume that's why you even stopped in Treasure Town in the first place, what with it being Nihilator Central and all."

Briney nodded. "That's right, I did come here looking for him. From the bits of information I've pieced together over the years, I eventually found out Treasure Town is crucial to their plans, so I thought I'd come here and clean nest. I haven't detected my quarry, though, so theoretically I could leave…but the thought of allowing those bastards to continue their work here rubs me the wrong way. So I have a proposition for you: help me run the Nihilators out of Treasure Town and I'll take you to Zero Isle, and stick with you until you find the Nihilator headquarters or I find my prey, whichever comes first. And after that…well, we'll cross under that drawbridge when we get to it."

Pikachu frowned. "Do you think we can really do that? There's a _lot_ of Nihilators here. They control the whole town, and are pretty deeply entrenched in the catacombs."

Briney nodded. "That's true, there are a lot of them…but that hasn't stopped me so far from wiping out entire bases of the vermin. My reputation among their ranks has become so great that many kill themselves before I even get there out of fear of what I might do to them. I wonder how many corpses we'll find when they realize that this time, I've brought friends to lend a hand?"

"Hmm…that does sound kinda cool…" Leo admitted. "And kind of creepy…"

"And if we get rid of all the Nihilators here, the town may improve slightly, and we'll have an easier time moving about and reaching the Door when the time comes to reseal it," Ash admitted. "But even if we do manage to clear them all out of here, what's to stop them from coming back the minute we leave town?"

"That's what controlled demolitions are for," Briney said smugly. "A few explosions here and there should collapse the tunnels and make it difficult for anyone to get back down to the lowest levels. It'll mean we'll have a bit of a tough time getting back there too, but it should at least slow down the Nihilators for a little while. So, what do you say?"

"Well…What do you think, guys?" Ash asked his friends.

"I think it'll be a grueling battle, but if Briney's really that strong, we should have a slightly easier time of it both now and in future fights," Pikachu said.

"Plus, he'll let us use his boat. Without paying! And he'll become our seventh party member! What a bargain! We can't turn this down!" Leo said.

"I suppose it couldn't hurt to get rid of the Nihilators here," Lily said. "And if we get down to the lowest parts and I get a look at the Door, maybe I can learn more about the magic we need to seal it…and possibly how to break my own curse…"

Ash shrugged. "Well, my friends have spoken. I guess you're in. Welcome to Team Aurabolt, Captain Briney."

"Glad to be onboard," Briney said, shaking Ash's hand. "Now…why don't we retrieve your other teammate and head down to the catacombs to start busting some skulls? If we attack now, we'll have the advantage of surprise, since I only just got here and I doubt they'll have set up all their defenses yet."

"Sounds like a good idea to me. And after that, we ship out?" Ash said.

"As soon as possible. Much like you, I'll be happy to turn my back to this place. It brings out the worst in people…and my worst can be very bad indeed," Briney said. They tried not to dwell on that too much.

"Okay, then let's get out of here and…hey, where's Tiny?" Pikachu asked, glancing around and realizing for the first time that the Larvitar was gone. The little guy was so silent sometimes it was easy to forget that he was there, which made it hard to notice when he wasn't.

"Oh boy. You guys are gonna want to take a look at this," Leo said as he pointed to a nearby table, face red with suppressed mirth.

They looked at the table. Tiny and an enormous Swalot were sitting opposite from each other and quaffing down tremendous tankards of beer, while a large crowd gathered around them shouted "CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!" Several dozen empty tankards and glasses scattered around the table and floor indicated this drinking contest had been going on for quite some time. With a gasp, both Pokemon slammed their empty vessels down on the table, glared at each other…and then the Swalot's eyes rolled back in his head and he fainted, knocking the table over in his fall and lying slumped on the floor. Tiny belched loudly, and the sailors cheered raucously.

Team Aurabolt and their latest addition stared in disbelief. "What a constitution! Even my liver's not that strong!" said an impressed Briney. "And it's made of metal!"

"Isn't he a bit young to be drinking?" Lily asked.

"That doesn't seem to be stopping him," Leo commented.

Ash had put his face in his hands. "Oh man…Misty's gonna kill me…"

"Why? She's never even met Tiny," Pikachu asked.

"She'll kill me on principle for letting a kid of mine drink underage. She'll say I'm setting a bad example for the others." Ash groaned. "Why does Tiny keep doing stuff like this? Is it me? Am I a bad parent? Junior never acted like this. The worst problem we ever had with him was wetting the bed and knocking over furniture. Is this my fault? What did I do to deserve-" He paused, a horrifying thought crossing his mind.

Pikachu frowned. "Ash? What is it?"

"I…nothing. It's nothing. Let's just get Tiny and go." Ash narrowed his eyes. "And when I get the chance, he and I are going to have a _serious_ talk about moderation."

Briney watched Ash silently. He knew what dread thought had gone through the Lucario's head. He knew what secret the boy was hiding from his friends. He didn't intend to do anything about it, though. That information was Ash's to share…

And he hoped he shared it sooner rather than later, before it destroyed Ash from within.

…

"This is so cool," Leo said as they exited the bar and started walking along the harbor front towards the nearest entrance to the catacombs. "We're going to storm an enemy stronghold alongside a badass captain who's been fighting them for years! And…we'll probably kill a lot of them…yeah…okay, maybe it's not _that_ cool…"

"Don't worry, boy, you get used to killing after a while," Briney said.

Leo grimaced. "That's kind of what I'm afraid of."

Without warning, a laser beam shot down from the sky and struck the Dragonite's Head, causing it to explode in a tremendous ball of fire that knocked the heroes to the ground, collapsed several of the nearby shoddily-constructed buildings, crumbled some of the nearby piers, and made more than a few old and leaky boats capsize. Burning Pokemon ran screaming out of the conflagration and, without thinking, jumped into the bay to try and put themselves out. This turned out to be a bit of a bad idea, because there were more volatile chemicals than H2O in the bay, and they only wound up cremating themselves as the chemicals ignited, killing them and setting a significant portion of the piers, ships, and the water itself on fire.

"Holy shit," Ash said as they picked themselves back up. "That could have been us!"

"If we had been in there even a minute longer…" a horrified Leo whispered.

Lily shuddered, remembering all too well the flames that had marked her unbirth. "All those people…I did not like them, but I did not want something like _that_ to happen to them!" Tiny sucked his pacifier sadly, though whether it was because of the loss of his drinking buddies or all the drinks that had gone up in the blast was hard to say.

"Was that meant for us?" Pikachu wondered. "But who would kill so many people just to try…right, stupid question. It must be the Nihilators!"

Briney frowned, narrowing his eyes as he noticed the smoke rising from the flames parting around what looked like thin air. "Close…but not quite…look up there!"

They looked up. It didn't take them very long to notice the odd aberration in the sky. The light from the fire refracted off it oddly. "What is that?" Lily wondered.

"It's a ship!" Ash cried, seeing through the object's cloaking field with his Aura-sight. The vessel shimmered, dropping its cloak to reveal itself to the heroes. It was a rather large black elongated rectangular airship, with four immense engines and steering struts placed at the ship's four corners and additional thrusters on the rear and top, a large indentation in the front that looked sort of like a mouth with air intake scoops on either side of it and four red eye-like lights placed on top and to the sides, a number of cannons mounted on the top, underside, and fins, and a small box-shaped bridge on top of the vessel, midway between the four engines. It wasn't nearly as the big as the ship that had almost destroyed Battlus, but it was larger than the ships Tarantulas and the other Nihilators had used to evacuate the Tree of Beginning, and looked as if it was powerful enough to level the entire town if it wanted to. Tiny stiffened, and Ash frowned, puzzled by the feelings of dread and shock he was receiving through his bond with the Larvitar. He also wondered why the ship seemed oddly familiar…

"It's the Nihilators!" Leo yelled. "They're after the Captain, and we're caught up in the middle of it, just like I was afraid of!"

"Weren't you listening, boy? I said not quite," Briney growled. "It doesn't bear their mark…but that doesn't mean we're out of trouble. I recognize that vessel…it doesn't belong to the Nihilators, but to someone almost as bad…Hunter J!"

Ash blinked. "Hunter J?"

Abruptly, he found himself in the middle of a flashback._ He was human again, and he and Pikachu were running into the control room for an airship much like the one floating above them now. "Riolu!" he cried, spotting a Riolu trapped in a glass case next to the captain's chair. Oddly enough, it looked as if the Riolu was stone from the neck down._

"_Pika pika!" Pikachu yelled._

_The Riolu turned its head as much as it could, yelping for Ash to help him. The person who had been sitting in the chair, an elegant silver-haired woman in a long black coat belted around the middle with a red bodysuit underneath it, high heels, the left sleeve cut off to allow her to wear what looked like a miniature cannon over her arm, and utterly dead blue eyes stood up, walked over to the case, and turned a dial on its base, causing the Riolu's head to become encased in stone as well. "Let Riolu go!" Ash yelled angrily._

_The woman threw a Pokeball. "Drapion, grab him now!" _

_The Pokeball burst open in a flash of light, releasing the massive Ogre Scorp Pokemon behind Ash and allowing it to instantly snap him up in its mighty claws. Ash gasped in pain as the Drapion slowly crushed his body, and Pikachu shouted, "Pi! Pikapi!"_

_The woman walked over. "I've been aware of your intrusion the whole time."_

"_Why didn't you do something before?" Ash grunted, having trouble breathing as the Drapion continued constricting him._

_A cold smile formed on the woman's face, and Ash abruptly realized that, unlike many of the other criminals he'd run into over the years, this one had no heart and no problem with killing anyone who got in her way. She was pure evil, and nothing less. "So I could personally punish a young fool like you."_

_The Drapion lifted Ash into the air and tightened its grip, causing him to scream in pain. Pikachu cried out and leaped onto the scorpion, grabbing onto one of its eyebrows and blocking its sight, causing it to thrash about to try and shake him off. Ash took advantage of this distraction to lash out with a kick, striking the Drapion in the other eye. The scorpion roared in pain and let him go, allowing Ash and Pikachu to drop to the ground._

_Unfortunately, this what right where the woman wanted him. Her grin grew, and suddenly the floor opened up beneath Ash and Pikachu's feet, and then they were falling through a dark shaft and out into the light, the treetops of a forest hundreds of feet below them. "Pikachu!" Ash cried, grabbing Pikachu as they hurtled towards the ground. If this was how he was going to die, he wanted his best friend by his side. "This could be it…"_

Ash blinked, snapping out of his fugue. Clearly that hadn't been it; otherwise he wouldn't be there now. It had been very close, though. "Hunter J…" he whispered.

"J? That's kind of an unusual name for someone," Pikachu commented.

"At least it is pronounceable. I have seen a number of names written in my Mother's grimoires that have no vowels," Lily said. "And other names that can't be written down but are described as a flash of green light and the smell of roses. Or the sound of a trolley of squawking Combuskens being chased downhill by a bagpipe player on Ponytaback but played backwards at twice the speed."

Leo gasped. "Hunter J?! Oh crap, I've heard about her! She's that seriously ruthless, relentless, cruel, and totally evil poacher who kidnaps rare Pokemon and sells them to high-paying 'collectors', right?"

Briney nodded. "That's right. I've heard that she's accepted a number of contracts from the Nihilators, hired to remove Pokemon who are causing them problems…or capturing legendary Pokemon, which they are trying to turn into Shadow Pokemon."

"She's captured legendaries?!" cried the startled Pikachu. "Then that means the Nihilators have more than just the three beasts and the golems? That isn't good…"

Ash blinked. "A poacher?" The Lucario suddenly realized what the feeling he was getting from Tiny was. It was rage. "Tiny…the Pokemon on that ship…she's the one who took away your mother, isn't she?" Tiny nodded slowly, small form quivering with anger as sparks of Aura flickered around him.

Briney laughed. "Ha…if she's here, that must mean someone's put a bounty on my head, or possibly yours, though since you're incognito at the moment it's more likely that I'm the target rather than you five. I guess the Nihilators are so afraid of me that they're getting their favorite mercenary to try and take me out. Should I be flattered or insulted?"

An antenna rose from the top of the ship and started glowing. An energy field washed out from the antenna, rippling outwards and cascading down to create a dome-shaped force field that enclosed several hundred square meters of Treasure Town, cutting this portion of the docks off from the rest of the town and trapping Team Aurabolt, J's ship, and every other Pokemon unlucky enough to be in the neighborhood inside. "Crap! She's caged us in!" Leo observed.

"And herself, too…which may be the worst mistake she ever made," Briney said with a metallic grin. "Let's see how this legendary hunter matches up against the likes of us…"

Ash frowned. "One thing I don't understand…if she was right over us the whole time, why did she wait to fire on the tavern until _after _we were outside?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Leo said bitterly. "She was using it for target practice…and to show us that she means business."

Actually, Leo couldn't have been more wrong. "Why did you have us wait to fire until after they were outside?" Hunter J, a monstrous Drapion with a high-tech visor lowered over her eyes and a miniature cannon-like device strapped onto her left arm, asked her employer. They were standing on the bridge of her airship, her henchmon operating the control stations all around them while a high-res zoomed-in image of their quarry was displayed on a large screen. "If we had caught them while they were still in the building, Briney might have been severely weakened."

Oblivion's Shadow turned his mask towards her, reflecting J's face back at her. "Because this is a test run of my latest weapon, not of your technology," the Nihiliator leader told the Drapion with her own voice. "And besides…I doubt his companions would not have survived. I do not want them killed…at least, not _all_ of them."

J frowned. "Not killed? But why…ah, I see. They are the other targets you wanted me to take care of? They do not match the description you gave me. Hmm…" She turned to one of her minions. "Give me an infrared scan!" The Skorupi nodded and made some adjustments. A red filter appeared over the image on the big screen, causing the forms of the five Pokemon standing around Captain Briney to turn hazy and transparent, revealing a Lucario, a Pikachu with a sword, a Squirtle, a Larvitar, and a Misdreavus. "Ah, an illusion…very clever. But not clever enough to fool you, I take it?"

"That is correct," Oblivion's Shadow said.

"That explains why we didn't fire while they were inside…but then why bother shooting at all?" J asked.

"There were too many unnecessary variables in the bar. They might have interfered in the fight, provided too many targets for Pokemon XDra, caused it to become confused. It was much simpler to just remove them entirely," said the Shadow.

J nodded, seeing the logic in that. "All right. But…are you sure you want to use something like _that?_ I thought you wanted them alive."

"I want some of them alive. The Lucario I require for my own purposes. Bellum insisted that the Misdreavus be captured, though she doesn't care what condition Lily is when she is brought home. The Larvitar I hold little interest in, but you might want to take him for yourself. He escaped you in a previous hunt, and possesses the power of Aura. He could be very valuable to someone who works in the circles you do," the Shadow said.

J smirked. "The power of Aura, huh? And the Pikachu, Squirtle, or Metang you don't care about?"

The Shadow shook his head. "No. Pokemon XDra can and should kill them. If it comes too close to killing the others, then I shall intervene and leave the rest to you. In fact…I think that I shall take care of the Lucario personally, while XDra handles the others. He and I have…business."

J shrugged, not really caring. "So long as I get my payment, you can do whatever you want with him, though at this point I'm wondering how necessary my services were, since you seem to think you have everything in hand already."

"There's always the possibility of something unexpected happening. Do not worry, even if you are not needed, you will still get your money," Oblivoin's Shadow promised.

"That's all I care about," J said. She turned to the Skorupi. "Release Pokemon XDra. I think it's time we saw this so-called 'ultimate Shadow Pokemon' in action."

"Speaking of Shadow Pokemon…I do not suppose you have changed your stance on that subject?" Oblivion's Shadow asked as the Skorupi's claws flew over his console.

J shook her head. "I have no interest in Shadow. It may be a powerful substance, but it's still a drug just like any other…and I have no use for drugs. Money is the only thing that drives me, not some stupid addiction like drugs or the thrill of the hunt. Those only get in the way, so I cannot afford to let them interfere with my job."

"Hmmph. I suppose it is refreshing to know that you have limits," Oblivion's Shadow said. "Though it comes more from practicality than any moral code."

"I have no use for those, either," J said. "But what of you, Shadow? What are your limits? Just why are you so interested in this Lucario, anyway?" Oblivion's Shadow did not answer. Then again, J hadn't really expected him to. She didn't really care. The reasons people hired her had never been her concern. Doing the job and getting the payoff were the only things that really mattered. Everything else was only a distraction.

A hatch opened on the bottom of the ship. "Something's coming!" Lily announced.

"Whatever it is, we'll take care of it, then knock that ship out of the sky," Briney growled. "I wasn't particularly fond of that establishment, but it was one of the better ones in town, and now there's one less relatively acceptable thing in this hellhole. J will answer to me for making this awful town just a bit more unpleasant…and killing all those people, I suppose."

"Though there are some who might argue that the world would be a better place without them, I agree," Pikachu said, drawing his sword. "Someone who destroys lives so carelessly, who abducts people and sells them for money…someone like her needs to be taken down. I can't believe we've never heard of her before now, or we might have taken care of her sooner!"

Ash nodded. "Right! Let's take her down!" _But why do I get a feeling something terrible is about to happen? I thought that was Sasha's gimmick…_ "Lily, drop the disguises, I don't think we need them anymore. I want J to know who she's messing with."

Lily nodded. "Right." The illusions over them all shimmered and disappeared, revealing their true forms.

Something emerged from the hatch. It wasn't a gun turret, or a bomb, or any other weapon they could identify. It was a crate that fell to the ground and slammed onto the cobblestones hard enough to crack them, indicating its denseness and weight.

They blinked. Tiny sucked his pacifier. "…Huh. That was unexpected," Leo commented.

"What's in there?" Lily wondered.

Briney frowned. "I can't…read it for some reason…that can't be good…"

Ash closed his eyes and tried his own sensing method. He gasped in horror. "Oh no…"

"What? What is it?!" Pikachu asked.

"It's-" He was interrupted when the crate exploded open in a blast of black flame, jagged pieces flying in every direction. The heroes braced themselves, but Briney raised a hand, generating a Protect barrier that deflected the shrapnel and left them unharmed. A dark figure appeared in the smoke, the clouds blowing away to reveal….

Leo screamed. "HOLY SHIT, IT'S THE SLICER! No, wait, false alarm, it's just our ninja Buneary friend in a suit of very pointy ice armor…with redder eyes than usual and a pitch-black Aura indicating she's a Shadow Pokemon…shit, that's almost as bad."

The ninja glared at them, black Aura swirling violently around her dark ice armor. If she recognized the group, there was no indication of it in her burning red eyes. Pikachu started. "It's…her!" said the surprised mouse. "But what is she doing in that getup? And why is she a Shadow Pokemon?!"

"You know her?" asked the confused Lily.

"She's that ninja Buneary with Sneasel blood who's helped them on a few occasions and was last seen vanishing into a Nihilator ship after her nemesis, Paul Yami," Briney said.

"Oh, right, now I remember," Lily said.

Leo frowned. "Could you stop peeking into our minds? It's kind of annoying."

Briney shrugged. "Sorry, force of habit."

"So she's become one of them now?! I know she's a ninja, but I at least thought she had more decency than that-" an angry Pikachu started.

"She didn't join them," Ash said.

Pikachu blinked. "What?"

"She didn't join them. I can tell by her Aura. I don't know how, but they tortured her until she broke. They forced her to become a monster," Ash said, grinding his teeth.

"…They what?" Pikachu whispered.

"Oh no…" Lily said. She knew all too well what it was like to be broken. But she didn't think that this ninja had the advantage of a voice in her head to help her pick up the pieces and regain some semblance of sanity when her torturer had gotten bored and went off to hurt somebody else.

"They…they what?! Dammit, that's it! This time, they've gone too far!" Leo snapped. "I mean, yeah, they've gone too far before, but this! This is even worse! They just can't stop topping themselves, can they?! Those bastards!"

"…I'll kill them," Pikachu said finally. "I'll kill them all."

"I'll help," Briney said. Tiny sucked his pacifier.

"Assuming she doesn't kill us first…she doesn't look very friendly at the moment," Leo commented, calming down slightly. If the ninja had had a voice, she would have roared as she tensed all her muscles and caused her Shadow Aura to erupt all around her, turning her into a beacon of darkness that shook the harbor, caused waves to ripple across the water and made the flames burning on their surface dance wildly, and cratered the ground around her. "Yep, not friendly at all."

"Ash, do you think you can-" Pikachu started.

"Purify her? I'm certainly going to try," Ash said. He frowned. "But her Aura…it looks worse than any Shadow Pokemon I've ever seen before. This is not going to be easy."

"Then it's good we're here to help you," Lily said. Tiny sucked his pacifier in agreement.

Briney nodded. "I haven't fought alongside anyone else in many years…but I think it's time I started again. If your friend can be saved, I'll do everything in my power to help…and then we'll make the Nihilators pay for this latest outrage."

"And then you can heal her broken heart with the power of love, Pikachu!" Leo said.

"Leo, now is not the time!" Pikachu snapped.

"Of course it's the time! This is an 'I know you're still in there' fight! The power of love will make it easier to snap her out of it and open her heart!" Leo said.

"…LEO. I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH HER!" Pikachu shouted.

Everything went silent all of a sudden. Even the flames seemed to be a bit more hushed in their crackling. The ninja's eyes narrowed, and her Aura roiled around her, warping and distorting the air. She crossed her arms, and a pair of very sharp ice kunai formed in either paw. "Uh, you probably shouldn't have said that out loud," Leo said uneasily.

Pikachu sweatdropped. "Oh, COME ON!"

"It's a hard lesson to learn, boy, but one you must always remember: it's never a good idea to tell a dangerous and very powerful womon that you're not interested her, especially when she's in a bad mood or brainwashed into being a living weapon for a sinister syndicate," Briney said wisely. "It rarely turns out well."

"But I…that wasn't…I didn't mean…you can't really think…" Pikachu stammered.

Ash frowned. "Wait, then why doesn't Misty try to kill me whenever I deny that I'm her boyfriend?"

"That's because both of you are in denial," Leo said knowingly. "Otherwise she'd totally castrate you or something."

"Is that what I should do, then, if someone says they are not in love with me?" Lily asked out of pure curiosity.

"…No. Definitely not," Leo said, face turning pale at the thought of all the things Lily could probably do to a guy who broke her heart. "Unless he's a total jerk about it, like Pikachu was just now." Tiny sucked his pacifier in agreement.

Pikachu facepalmed. "For the love of Arceus…"

The ninja dashed forward without warning, accelerating from a standing position to several miles an hour in seconds, the ground shaking and cratering slightly as her large feet slammed into it. She jumped, powerful leg muscles sending her soaring high above them, kunai drawn back and ready to strike. The heroes quickly braced themselves, knowing this was going to be one of their toughest fights yet.

And from the airship, Hunter J and Oblivion's Shadow looked on, expecting nothing less than a superb bloodbath.

…

Meanwhile, in Kanjohenn…

It was a quiet and peaceful day in Pokemon Square.

"WHEEEEEE!"

"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIIIEEE!"

"GET BACK HERE WITH MY BIKE, YOU LITTLE BRATS!"

I was lying, of course. You should expect that from me by now.

Team GX had stolen Wes's motorcycle and was wildly driving it around town. Their friends from the other junior Rescue Teams, Team Pokepals and Team Go-Getters, were riding in the sidecar while Pichu steered, Junior clung to the side and held down the pedal with his weight, and Matthias clung to the rear, screaming for dear life. "THIS IS AWESOME!" Pichu squealed, his face almost completely blocked out by the oversized goggles and helmet he was wearing, which made him just that much more of a danger to his passengers and everything around him.

"YEAH, OTHER THAN THE BUGS IN MY TEETH! Ew, there's another one," Junior complained, his ears and trunk blown back by the speed at which they were moving.

"Uncle Pichu, do you have any idea how to actually drive this thing? We can't seem to stick to one side of the road, and we keep getting awfully close to hitting mailboxes, garbage cans, and people," said a concerned Collette, sitting behind Pichu.

"Nope! I have no idea what I'm doing!" Pichu said cheerfully.

Collette sighed. "That's what I was afraid of…"

"Wheee! Isn't this fun, Uncle Matthias?" Sapphire, bouncing happily behind her sister, asked the Rattata.

"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEE!" he screamed.

Sapphire frowned. "You always say that. You need to lighten up."

"I THINK MY ARMS ARE ABOUT TO FALL OFF! I CAN'T HOLD ON FOR MUCH LONGER!" Matthias wailed.

Sapphire rolled her eyes. "Geez, you're such a pessimist. I can't see why my sister bothers hanging out with you, she usually stays away from naysayers like you."

"I THINK I JUST SWALLOWED A FLY!" Matthias yelled.

"See? There's something positive! You're getting a nice, healthy snack!" Sapphire said cheerfully. Matthias and Collette stared at her in disbelief.

"I'm not saying I'm not enjoying this, but…it's kind of bumpy and a rather tight fit, isn't it?" George the Chimchar of Team Pokepals complained to his teammate, the bow-tie wearing Hubie the Piplup. The two of them and the three members of Team Go-Getters were all crammed in the motorcycle's sidecar.

"Well, it could be worse," Hubie said, spitting out a bug.

"How? Other than us crashing into something. Or our sidecar coming off and careening off a cliff," George said.

"…I hadn't thought of that. Thank you so much for putting that idea into my head," Hubie said deadpan. "No, I meant we could be Gilbert."

Both members of Team Pokepals glanced surreptitiously at the uncomfortable-looking Squirtle sitting at the other end of the sidecar being vigorously nuzzled by an amorous Chikorita. "Isn't this so romantic, Gilbert-kun?" the Leaf Pokemon, named Kira, purred as she rubbed her head against the nervous Squirtle's body. "If only those other three weren't here…then I would have you all to myself…"

"Kira, for the last time, I am not your Gilbert-kun!" the Squirtle snapped. "I don't even know what a kun is, but it doesn't sound very pleasant!"

Kira squealed and kept nuzzling. "You're so cute when you play hard to get, Gilbert-kun…" Gilbert groaned and put his face in his hands, while their other teammate, Torch the Charmander, shook his head wearily. Kira was the daughter of Lucas and Mika, and seemed to have inherited her mother's…behavior towards mons she had a crush on, namely, being extremely clingy, overly affectionate, glomping them constantly, calling them 'kun' for some reason, and stalking them until the targeted male broke down and went on a date with her, after which they'd discover she wasn't so bad after all and continue seeing her. Or get a restraining order.

Hubie and George both sweatdropped. "Yeah…you're right, at least we're not that guy," George agreed.

"Poor sap…that's why I'm staying single," Hubie said.

The motorcycle wasn't the only thing dangerously weaving its way down the network of paths crisscrossing Pokemon Square. An enraged Wes, moving faster than any recorded Espeon had ever imagined, was chasing after the bike, eyes red with rage and a huge trail of dust rising in his wake. "YOU LOUSY KIDS!" he hollered. "WHEN I GET MY PAWS ON YOU, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU! IF YOU GET SO MUCH AS ONE SCRATCH ON MY BIKE, YOU'RE _DEAD,_ HEAR ME? _DEAD!!!"_

"Why do you even care? It's not like you use that thing anyway," Zoro called as Wes dashed past.

"It's the principle of the thing! Plus, that's a vintage piece, I don't want some snot-nosed brats getting their pawprints all over it!" Wes yelled back.

Zoro shrugged as Wes vanished around a corner and went back to leaning against a building with Rosa. "Oh well, each to his own, I suppose."

Rosa sighed and closed her eyes, drinking in the sunshine. Literally. Since she was a plant and all. "Ahhhh…this place is so beautiful, Zoro. Everyone gets along for the most part, and the _ninos_ are free to play in the streets…not like back home, si?"

Zoro nodded solemnly. "Si…there are times I wonder if our land will ever be the way it once was. People like us have been fighting the Espanish for generations, and still their stranglehold on our country remains."

"We will win some day," Rosa said assuredly. "The _alma_ of La Mancha burns brightly. Freedom will be ours eventually."

"Yes…but will we be there to see it?" Zoro wondered. "Will our children? Were it not for our duty to our homeland, and the very real chance that this place might not be here any longer in a few weeks, I could almost consider settling down here…giving up the life of a freedom fighter and raising a family, like many of the veteran warriors here have. They seem to have done well by it. It would not be a bad life…"

Rosa blinked, staring at Zoro in astonishment. "El Zoro…you are not considering…_giving up_, are you?!"

Zoro sighed. "No…I'm just a little tired, that's all. Not enough to stop fighting, at least not yet. And in any event…" He took one of her hands and kissed it, making sure to avoid the poisonous parts. "This place has reminded me that someday I must produce little _gatitos_ to become the Zoros of the next generation. I…would be flattered if you were to help me raise them, Rosa."

Rosa turned red, her quick tongue for once at a loss for things to say as she realized just what he was asking of her. "I...I would be…I would be honored to help you in continuing your legacy…and to stay by your side, no matter what the future may throw at us, as…"

Zoro glanced up. "As?"

She swallowed, her throat going dry all of a sudden as they locked eyes. "As…" She leaned towards him. "As…whatever you want me to be…" They kissed.

While Wes chased after his motorcycle and Zoro and Rosa became more acclimated to town, a much more serious event was happening elsewhere. Another important meeting was being held at the Mayor's pond in Pokemon Square. The Mayor, Aaron, Raiki, Latios, Rayquaza, Nuken, Scotty, Sabrina, and the newly returned Master Yamiri listened and watched carefully as Latias showed them the results of her latest scouting mission on a large hologram of the continent she had conjured with her light powers. "I am still unable to leave the boundaries of Kanjohenn. Whenever I try, I feel like there's this irresistible force anchored just below my navel tugging me back. I pull and I pull, but I can't seem to make any headway against it. It's keeping me trapped here, unable to go out into the wider world and do anything like locate and defeat this Oblivion's Shadow on my own, help Team Aurabolt find the remaining Star Badges, renew the seal on the Door under Treasure Town, or even figure out where Giovanni is hiding himself. Until we can find the person or thing that interfered with the summoning spell and bound me here, I can't leave the continent."

"Well, that's bloody inconvenient…" Scotty grumbled.

"And a little contrived, since it sort of keeps you from using those super powers of yours to actually _do_ anything useful," Latios complained. "Some deity…"

Latias frowned. "I can't help that the summoning failed the way it did."

Master Yamiri nodded. "Yes, how were we supposed to know that someone was going to sabotage it?"

"Maybe because we have a seer?" Latios asked, glaring at Sabrina.

The Xatu shrugged. "In these dark times, my view of the future is, sadly, not as clear as it should be."

"And that's inconvenient and contrived too…" Latios muttered.

"I don't suppose you found any sign of the saboteur while you were out?" Nuken asked.

Latias shook her head. "I covered the whole continent, but I haven't been able to find him or her. That either means they're not in Kanjohenn, or that they've protected themselves from my senses, neither of which particularly bodes well and suggests we're dealing with a very powerful sorcerer…"

"Which makes sense…who else could subvert a ritual to call down a living god, not only limiting the god's power but trapping her on this continent and removing the power from another local god we had helping us?" Raiki asked.

"We have fought sorcerers before, but none as subtle as this…usually they brag about their accomplishments after doing something to ruin our plans, but this one hasn't made a peep," Aaron commented. "It's rather worrying…"

"Speaking of sorcery…have you been able to make any further analysis of those barriers that popped up recently?" the Mayor asked.

Latias nodded and pointed at two points on the hologram, enlarging them and revealing Mt. Blaze and the Amber Palace in Sinister Woods, the lairs of the Monkey King and Hive Queen, the two barbarian leaders who threatened the town. (Technically Tyson was a third, but since they now knew he was a double agent, they didn't count him as the same level of threat as the other two, even though the Fearow's motives—and that of Team Rocket—were still suspect.) Both locations were covered in large cone-shaped energy shields of crackling purple light, preventing anyone from approaching the volcano or the giant hive fortress that marked the enemy strongholds. "I believe that the same entity responsible for sabotaging the ritual created these barriers. They have a somewhat similar…'feel' to them. I've observed the shields invisibly for a few hours, and it looks like Pokemon who serve the Monkey King and Hive Queen can pass through freely, but any other Pokemon that touches them is vaporized instantly."

They grimaced. "Ouch…there goes our plans to launch a preemptive strike against them," Rayquaza said.

"Which is precisely why those shields were created, no doubt: to keep us from attacking them with the full might of our combined forces," Nuken reasoned, rather disgruntled that he wouldn't be able to shed any barbarian blood in the near future.

"Is there any way we could get through or disable those barriers?" Aaron asked. "As far as we know, Team A.C.T. is still somewhere in Mt. Blaze, and as long as those things are up, they can't get out."

"Assuming they aren't dead…" Scotty said bitterly. "We havenae heard from them for a while, lad. I ken they're good, but…sometimes even the best just isnae good enough."

"I refuse to believe that. I know that they've been gone a long time now, but I know Allen, Charlie, and T-Bone. They wouldn't let something like being caught behind enemy lines stop them. I'm sure they're still alive in there…we just need to find a way to get to them," Aaron said.

"Teleportation is out, both the Psychic and badge-based kinds," Sabrina said. "Scotty and I have tried both. Neither worked, we just got rather severe headaches."

"And I am unable to phase through them or travel through shadow," Yamiri said. "My prayer slips have no effect either, though that could be because I am still relatively inexperienced with them."

"And unlike most force fields, these seem to extend some distance underground, our digging teams haven't been able to burrow under them," the Mayor said.

"So…what, there's no way through at all?" Latios asked in annoyance.

"Not necessarily," Latias said. "Like I said, I've studied them for a few hours. I haven't noticed any real weaknesses, but I believe that I could destroy at least one of them through sheer brute force. However, it would drain a lot of my power to do that, so I wouldn't be good for anything else for several days afterwards. I might even fall into another coma, though probably not as long as the last one."

"Absolutely not," Latios said firmly. "I don't want you risking yourself like that if you think it's going to wear you out that much. We were worried you'd never wake up from the last coma, I don't want to have to go through that again!"

Rayquaza nodded in agreement. "That's right, if it's that dangerous, we can't let you do that. We'll find another way."

Latias gave them an exasperated look. "I understand that you guys want to protect me, but…look, I'm the Guardian of Light! Doing things like this is my _job!_ It doesn't matter what happens to me if it means that the people of this town can live to see another day!"

"It may not matter to you, but it does to us," Latios said.

"We don't want you to get hurt," Rayquaza said.

Latias frowned. "Then why did you let me go through with the ritual in the first place?"

There was a pause. "That's…a good question, actually," Rayquaza admitted.

"I guess I wasn't really thinking about what your being a god-like being actually entailed…" Latios said reluctantly.

"Well, it's a bit too late for regrets now, because she's one now, and she's going to do whatever being one demands, I guess," Raiki said.

Latias nodded. "That's right, including destroying that barrier…no matter how tired and unfit I'll be afterwards."

The Mayor frowned. "Actually, that might be a bad idea, then…if you're so worn out from just destroying the barrier, what will we do if something happens while you're out of commission? We would be on our own."

"Some could say we already are," Scotty grumbled.

"We have not yet agreed that we will actually go forward with our original plans to attack Mt. Blaze or the Amber Palace," Sabrina pointed out. "If launching a strike against our foes requires this great a sacrifice, perhaps we should first try and resolve the cause of Latias's current weakened state, first. If we can restore her to full power, then she should be able to shatter both barriers easily as well as deal with the barbarian armies inside. And if we take them out early…"

"Then we'll have less to worry about later," Nuken finished.

"But I thought we couldn't restore her power because we still haven't found the guy who messed the ceremony up in the first place," Latios pointed out.

"That's true," Yamiri said. "But we can start preparations to complete the power transfer by restoring Rayquaza to his original form."

"I am in my original form," Rayquaza said.

"My apologies. I meant your _divine_ form," Yamiri amended.

"So…how do we go about doing that, then?" Scotty asked.

"We are still trying to find where the errant Dragon God energy has gone to ground," Nuken said. "Once we have located it, we can find a way to return it to its proper vessel."

"And to make sure the vessel is ready for that power…I think it's time you and I had a talk about why you caused the ceremony to fail," Latias said to Rayquaza, who fidgeted unhappily. "While it's true that the unknown sorcerer is largely to blame for the spell collapsing, it might still have worked were it not for your actions. To keep something like that from happening the next time, we need to fix the problem within you, the problem that caused the accident in the first place."

"But…the problem is that I'm not Rayquaza! I'm not a god, just a mortal who lucked into replacing one! How can you fix something like that?!" Rayquaza asked desperately.

"We could kill you," Latios suggested a little too eagerly.

Everyone stared at him. "What," Nuken growled flatly, having moved from his usual spot protectively hovering behind his master's shoulder to inches away from Latios' face in seconds, a terrifying look in his eyes.

"Um…what I meant is…if he's dead and comes back as a ghost, he'll be immortal, right? And the problem is that he's mortal now or something? So…that would fix it…" Latios said slowly, withering under the Shedinja's stare. "Um…you know, that sounded a lot better inside my head…"

"It might not work, anyway," Yamiri pointed out. "Not everyone who dies comes back as a Ghost. Some just pass on."

"Plus, I DON'T REALLY WANT TO DIE!" Rayquaza shouted. "Well…unless you _really_ think it might help…"

"No, my king," Nuken said, turning away from Latios, who collapsed in relief now that that baleful insectoid gaze was no longer trained on him. "Not even then." And that was that on that subject. Nobody dared argue with the Shedinja when he spoke in that tone of voice, not even his liege lord.

"It also wouldn't have worked because mortality is not the issue here," Latias said. "Like I told you earlier, Rayquaza, it's not your being an impostor god—or believing that you're one, anyway—that's the problem. It's…" She paused, and then glanced at everyone else, who was listening with a little too much interest. "Something I would rather talk to you about in private."

"Oh. Um…I guess we could go somewhere-" Rayquaza started.

"Not without me," Nuken said firmly.

"Or me!" Latios agreed just as firmly.

Latias rolled her eyes. Arceus save her from overprotective siblings and second-in-commands. "Actually, I was just going to talk with you telepathically so nobody can listen in. That includes you, Sabrina, Scotty, Aaron, and _especially_ you, Latios."

"Very well," Sabrina said.

"Well, if you say so…" Scotty grumbled reluctantly.

"All right," said Aaron.

Latios started. "What? But sis-"

"No eavesdropping," she repeated, fixing him with a golden-eyed stare like a billion-kilowatt laser beam. "Do I make myself clear?"

He broke under that stare. She had always been able to control him with those eyes, but now they were more intense than ever before. There was something else behind them. Something powerful and old and unfamiliar. He didn't like it. He didn't like how it was taking his sister away from him, turning her into something else, making her trust more and more in _him…_

And the worst thing was, there was nothing he could do about it. He wondered if there ever had been. "All right…" he whispered.

Latias's eyes flickered briefly in sympathy. The resentment seething inside her brother was no mystery to her. She promised herself that the two of them were going to have a long talk about this distance between them…but not yet. She had another important talk to deal with first. "All right, Rayquaza," she said, turning to the Bagon. "Are you ready?"

"Um, I guess," Rayquaza said uncertainly.

"And what're we supposed tae be doing while they're having a romantic tete-a-tete in their heads?" Scotty complained. Latios bristled.

"Well, we were having a strategy meeting…I guess we could continue," Aaron said.

"I suppose…" Raiki said. "Though I wouldn't mind knowing what they're talking about in there…"

"As would I…" Nuken muttered. Somewhat reluctantly, the powerful Pokemon renewed their discussion, trying to ignore the deified Latias and mortalized Rayquaza.

_Can you hear me clearly?_ Latias asked Rayquaza telepathically.

"Yes," he said out loud automatically. She frowned at him. "Er…I mean…" He concentrated. _Yes?_

_Good,_ she said, sounding—and _feeling_, to Rayquaza's mind—pleased. He found he liked her pleased. Her mental voice sounded much like her regular voice, but more…resonant, and crystal-clear, with more than a little trace of power and maturity and a sense of pure…_purity_ and love and light underneath it that made him feel tingly all over. More tingly than he usually did around Latias already. _Oh crap, you just heard all that, didn't you?_ He suddenly realized.

She giggled, and he decided it didn't really matter. _So,_ she said. _You think the problem is with yourself. That because you're a mortal, because you weren't born a god and only took up the mantle of the true Rayquaza, that the spell failed, correct?_

_I don't think it, I know it,_ Rayquaza said miserably. _I mean, I know that that sorcerer or whatever is responsible too, but you yourself said part of it is my fault._

_It is,_ Latias admitted apologetically. _But not for the reasons you think._ She paused. _Rayquaza. You know that I am the Guardian of Light, and that my husband is the Dragon God-King, of whom the legendary Pokemon Rayquaza is a physical avatar, right?_

_Right, which is why you needed him as an anchor or focus or something to incarnate in our world,_ Rayquaza said. _And since I'm _not_ Rayquaza, it went wrong._

Latias mentally shook her head. _No, that's not what happened. You're getting ahead of me. Listen: every now and then, my husband has to incarnate in one of his physical forms in the mortal realms. I usually join him sooner or later so we can share a life of sorts together. Now, the thing is…a long time ago, he left to incarnate again. And everything seemed okay for a while, we could still talk to him long-distance, and I was making plans to go join him. But about a thousand years ago, we…lost track of him. We couldn't find his soul anywhere._

Rayquaza gave her a surprised look. _What? But you're the Guardians! You're supposed to know everything!_

_There's a big difference between supposition and actuality,_ Latias said bitterly. _Anyway, we later found out that it's because he incarnated in this universe, where the superstrings are all messed up due to Oblivion's Shadow or possibly some other cause. We think it's because of the Shadow's interference and whatever hand he had in Earth's destruction about a millennium ago that we not only lost contact with my husband, but he's been unable to get back in touch with us. A lot of memories were scrambled in the aftermath of the big calamity, and it's possible he might not have even remembered who he truly was, that he was the REAL Dragon God King, and that confusion plus the Shadow's meddling would also have made it difficult for us to pick up his energy signature._

…_I see…_ the Bagon muttered. _But…Rayquaza died again three hundred years ago. If he was the reincarnation of your husband, then where is your soul now?_

Latias shook her head again. _You don't get it. While the Rayquaza you knew was an avatar of the Dragon God King, he did not possess the True King's soul._

Bagon blinked. _What? But then who…_

_It's you, Rayquaza. My husband's soul has been reborn inside of you,_ Latias said.

His eyes widened in shock. _Wh-what?! No, that can't be right. You must be making a mistake. I am a simple Bagon, not…not one of the holiest and most exalted of gods!_

_You are my husband. My lover, my soulmate, the father of my daughter,_ Latias said insistently. _I would know you in any shape or form, the bond between us is so powerful._

_But I- _Rayquaza protested.

_And it is because you do not acknowledge that bond that I am in my current weakened state, _Latias said.

…_What? What do you mean?_ Rayquaza asked in confusion, head spinning. There had to be some mistake. She couldn't be right. There was no way he could be the one true Dragon God King, could he? He had lived in a cave for all his early years, for Arceus's sake, and didn't even have a name until he had been selected to rule over a kingdom he had never known _existed_ before that fateful night near Wyvern Hill!

And what was that about a daughter? Rayquaza hadn't known the Guardian of Light and Dragon God King had a daughter. None of the legends mentioned anything about that. When had that happened? _We had her several thousand years ago,_ Latias said, reading his mind. _But she's not old enough to go out on her own yet or do anything worth having legends written about, so she's still an unknown in the mortal realms for the time being._

_Oh,_ said Rayquaza. _Wait, she's several thousand years old and she's still too _young?!

_Immortals age slowly. Very, very, _very _slowly,_ Latias said. _And like I was saying, your refusal to acknowledge your connection to me and to her is why I'm like this._

_I don't understand,_ Rayquaza said. _And I still don't believe this part about me being your husband's reincarnation, just to make things clear!_

Latias sighed. _That's kind of what's causing the problem. You see-_ She broke off suddenly, glancing into the distance. _Uh oh._

_What? What is it?_ Rayquaza asked in confusion.

_Barbarians, _she thought. "Barbarians!" she yelled out loud.

Everyone looked at her in alarm. "What? Where?" asked Raiki, looking around.

"I don't detect any," said Aaron.

"How could they have gotten inside the walls?!" asked an incredulous Scotty.

Latias sweatdropped. "Er, I should have been clearer. They're not in town, but approaching it from the northwest. They'll be here in about fifteen minutes."

"You can sense minds out that far?!" asked an astonished Latios. She nodded. "Damn…"

"They're coming already?! But it's too soon! We're not ready!" said the alarmed Mayor.

"I will rally the troops! If they think to catch us off guard, they will be sorely disappointed!" Nuken said, bristling eagerly at the thought of inflicting some violence.

"No, it's not their army," Latias said quickly before anyone could blow this further out of proportion. "It's just a small party. They're not here to fight, but to deliver a message. A message…" She paused, and then looked at Aaron. "That we might not want to hear…"

…

Elsewhere…

Kevin the Kecleon watched as Gardevoir meditated on her bed, legs crossed and arms folded, the horn on her chest as black as it had been for the last half-hour. So far, everything seemed to be going well. She hadn't lost control of her current state, and if any of her past efforts were anything to measure progress by, she should be making contact with their target mind any minute now. Whether or not Gardevoir would be able to _convey_ anything to that mind was still up in the air, but she was getting better each time she tried, so it was only a matter of time before she managed to break through and communicate the information they needed to convey to the Pokemon capable of using it.

You're probably wondering what was going on here. As you might recall, Gardevoir was one of the newest members of a secret soul-linked network connecting dozens of prisoners, slaves, and lower-ranked Nihilators unfit for Shadow Pokemon transformation throughout the villains' fortress. Kevin was a member as well; otherwise he would not be in Gardevoir's room with her, watching her as she strived to reach out across the great distance to the mind they were establishing a foothold in. Gardevoir had formidable Psychic abilities due to being transformed into a spirit for a thousand years, but that power was useless at the moment due to the neural inhibitor the Nihilators had placed on her, which she could not remove without killing the numerous imprisoned children outside her chamber.

At least, it was useless until the network's leader, the alien being known as the Teacher, had come up with a way to channel that power through other means. As it so happened, many Gardevoir possessed an ability known as Trace, which allowed them to copy the special ability of another Pokemon. Gardevoir happened to be one of the members of her kind who possessed that power. Kevin, on the other hand, had a special ability called Color Change, which caused his elemental type to change to match that of whichever attack had just hit him. So, put the two of them in the same room, have Kevin attack Gardevoir with a Dark-type move, and…can you see where I'm going with this?

So, thanks to Kevin's copied ability, Gardevoir was able to take on a Dark secondary type for short periods of time. As the Kecleon continued training her, she was able to retain the Dark power for longer and longer, and meld it with her own innate Psychic skill to create a new kind of ability. She was unable to reach out to the minds of her friends using Psychic moves, however...there was nothing limiting her from doing it by using the power of darkness…

The only downside of this power was that she could only connect to the mind of another Dark-type Pokemon, and due to her inexperience with this strange melding of abilities and the great distance between the Nihilator base and anyone she was familiar with, it was difficult to establish a contact that lasted long enough for her to speak coherently to a Dark Pokemon without them thinking they were going crazy or that she was just a figment of her imagination. Oh, she could do it fairly well with Dark-types _inside_ the base, but all of those were either members of the resistance, Nihilators, or people who the network had deemed not worth recruiting, so that didn't really help. The main problem was that anyone who might be able to assist them was a very, very long way away from their prison, and she was still getting the hang of long-distance communication.

One of the best things going for them was that Team Aurabolt seemed to be traveling with a Dark-type Pokemon who was unusually receptive to being contacted via Dark 'telepathy.' Their original plan had been for Gardevoir to cast her mind out while she was in her current Psychic/Dark state and connect to the mind of a Dark Pokemon near either Ash and Pikachu or her friends in Pokemon Square who would then be able to tell those friends where she was and what the Nihilators were up to, but so far the mind of the Absol Sasha was the only one she'd been able to penetrate effectively from far away. It was almost like she was used to being communicated with like that…and it felt as if there was something else in the Absol's head that was not entirely pleased with her trespass. This unknown element made their operation that much riskier, but the plan was a long shot to begin with, so they didn't really have much of a choice but to follow through with it anyway. All other contacts with the outside world were off-limits to the network's members. Using this unmastered Psychic/Dark combo was the best hope they had for freedom. Not much of a hope, true, but they had so little of it anyway that they had to take a chance and grasp whatever became available to them.

Kevin noted Gardevoir's rate of breathing had increased slightly. From all the times he'd watched her do this so far, he knew that meant she had managed to connect to Sasha's mind. Now they just had to see if she could…

Wait. Something was wrong with Gardevoir's shadow. It seemed…too dark, somehow. Surely it shouldn't be that long, should it? And since when did shadows ripple and eject humanoid Espeons with blue fur, black armor with red trim, a long scarf resembling Zubat wings, a sword of pure darkness, and glowing red goggles pulled halfway down their face to resemble a sort of mask?! Kevin's jaw dropped as the ominous figure literally rose from the shadows and loomed up behind the unsuspecting Gardevoir, unaware of everything going on around her due to her trance. Noting the gawping Kecleon, the Espeon put a finger to his lips in the multiversal sign for silence.

Naturally, Kevin wasn't inclined to obey. "GARDE-"

He was cut off when a paw clamped around his mouth from behind, and another wrapped around his chest, holding him in place. He tried to struggle, but the scent of the being holding him--something strange and alluring, like a dark forest on a moonlit light with a trace of cigarettes—caused him to swoon and feel rather light-headed. "Now, now, sugar, we can't have any of that, now can we?" Bridget the Dark Clefairy whispered into Kevin's earhole as he drifted off into a nightmare-filled slumber. She glanced up at the vampiric Black Jango. "Well? What are you waiting for? Get it over with."

Black Jango nodded, took a few steps towards Gardevoir…and hesitated. He might have been overwhelmed by the power of darkness at the moment, but he wasn't evil, or at least didn't consider himself so, and what he was about to do made him uneasy. Noting his reluctance, Bridget frowned and gave him a Look. "I know you may not exactly be keen on this sort of thing, hun…but if you want your talking flower friend back, I think it best you bite her already before the guards get here. I can hear silent alarms blaring all over the place, and while I know that you can probably take them, and I _definitely_ can, it wouldn't exactly look good for my boss if they found us here, capisce?"

Black Jango sighed and nodded, giving in. He took a deep breath…

And _changed_, darkness rippling over his form as he transformed from a humanoid Espeon into an overlarge and rather demonic-looking blue and black-furred Mightyena. His head darted forward, biting into Gardevoir's neck from behind. She gasped and shuddered, her eyes flying open and her horn changing back to its usual color as Black Jango drained her blood…and left something _else_ in its place.

When he felt he had finished his task, Black Jango loosened his grip on Gardevoir, and she fell forward off the bed, blood spilling from the twin puncture marks on her neck and staining the carpet. "Good job," Bridget said as the Mightyena returned to his original form. "I know you hated doing it, darling, but trust me when I say it's all for the best. It's not like she was making much progress as she was, anyway. Things'll be a lot easier for her and her little friends _now,_ I daresay. Come on; let's beat it before the guards get here." Black Jango nodded and vanished back into the shadows. Bridget made to follow him, then paused in thought and picked up Kevin. "I'd better take you too, hun, at least so I can drop you back off in your room. Even if your buddies are editing all the security footage from this place so the big bads don't know what you're up to, it would certainly look rather suspicious if you were found where you didn't belong, wouldn't it?"

She disappeared into the shadows as well. It was a good thing Kevin was asleep, because if he had seen the routes the dark ones were traveling with open eyes, he would have gone mad. Only moments later, the door slid open as Nihilator soldiers pounded into the room, followed by paramedics that quickly tended to the very important prisoner. The guards ransacked the place, but found no sign of the mysterious intruder or how it had gotten in and out…

Nor did they notice, or at least not until it was too late to do anything about it, that as the blood stopped flowing from her neck Gardevoir's white skin grew even paler…and the horn on her chest turned pitch-black, as a long and agonizing metamorphosis began.

…

Bet you weren't expecting to see another Gardevoir bit so soon, were you? Or for _that_ to happen? I'm sure it's obvious what happened, but _why_…well, that's something to figure out for later, isn't it?

And there were other interesting developments this chapter, like the latest member of the team, the revelation of the monster behind the Door, the return of the ninja, the introduction of Hunter J, a partial reveal of what's going on between Latias and Rayquaza, and the buildup to what should be some awesome battles…next chapter! That should be fun, shouldn't it? I told you this arc would be cool!

Oh, and we'll deal with the other subplots next time. Probably. That's something to look forward to, isn't it?


	39. Fighting Shadows

Here it is. After all this waiting and buildup, here's the chapter you were promised. I told you this would be an action-packed event, and with any luck, that's exactly what it's going to be. I hope I don't disappoint. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters that don't belong to me. Thanks to ninetalesuk, Ryu the weredragon, and tazkol of the master emeralds for beta reading and in general letting me bounce ideas off of them.

…

The ninja Buneary loomed over the heroes, her silhouette almost disappearing against the blackness of the airship hovering above them. With a flick of her wrists, her ice kunais shot out at them, each dagger splitting into three and blazing with black Aura as they sought out the hearts of Team Aurabolt. They tensed, preparing to evade or deflect the blades, but Briney quickly raised a Protect barrier, causing the kunai to shatter harmlessly against his shield. The ninja narrowed her eyes and dove downwards, Aura surging around her as she slammed a claw into the barrier. The shield shook and quavered, ripples rolling across its surface from the point of impact. Briney winced, but held fast, refusing to let the shield fall. Repulsed, the ninja flipped off the barrier and vanished…

Only to reappear seconds later inside the glowing green dome, emerging from Briney's shadow and striking the Metang's underside with a Dizzy Punch that sent him flying, smashing the Captain into the top of the barrier and causing it to shatter. As pieces of hard green light fell around her and disappeared, the ninja darted towards Tiny, an ice sword forming in her paws. The Larvitar blinked and sucked his pacifier as she drew back her blade to strike.

"NO!" Ash cried, lunging forwards.

He needn't have bothered. Pikachu got there first, placing himself in the Buneary's path, locking blades with her and preventing her from going any closer to Tiny. "What are you doing? Since when do you hurt kids?!" For a moment, the ninja seemed nonplussed and uncertain…but then her eyes flashed, and her Aura seethed as she pressed her blade hard against Pikachu's, using the strength in her powerful leg muscles to try and knock him back. Pikachu anchored himself with his tail and pushed right back, sparks crackling all over him and his sword in counterpoint to the ninja's raging black Aura.

"Talking to her's not going to work, we're gonna have to beat the evil out of her!" Leo said knowingly.

Ash nodded. "Pretty much, yeah."

"Hit her while she's distracted!" Briney said, opening his mouth and powering up a Hyper Beam. Leo followed suit with an Ice Beam, Ash with a Flash Cannon, and Lily with a big ball of fire, reasoning (not incorrectly) that since the ninja had ice armor and ice powers, fire might work against her. Tiny didn't do anything, just sucked his pacifier and stared at Pikachu for some unfathomable reason. The four unleashed their attacks at the same time, sending them flying towards the ninja.

The Buneary saw them coming out of the corner of her eye and abruptly vanished into shadow, leaving Pikachu the only target for the powerful blasts. "Ack!" The electric mouse jumped out of the way, some of the fur on his back getting singed as the beams and flames shot past him. "Hey, watch it! That almost hit me!"

"Sorry," Ash said apologetically.

Lily glanced around. "Where did she-"

"LOOK OUT!" Leo yelled as the ninja reappeared behind the Misdreavus and lunged at her, new knives drawn and ready to strike.

"Huh?" Lily started, then frowned and simply lit the ninja on fire with her mind. The Buneary fell to the ground, eyes wild with panic as flames ravaged her form and tore at her armor. Her Aura went crazy, and Lily flinched and floated back as a tongue of black flame lashed at her face. "Oh dear. I don't think she likes being burnt."

"Most people don't," Leo said.

"She has rather bad burns, so she probably was in an accident involving fire once," Pikachu said, feeling a twinge of guilt as he saw how much the fire seemed to be affecting the ninja. _We'll fix her up once we get her back to normal,_ he promised himself. _And maybe see if we can't do anything for those other burns, too._

Lily gasped. "Oh! She was? Oh dear, I didn't mean to bring up any bad memories…"

"Lily, while it's nice to see you're developing your empathy, the battlefield isn't really the place for that sort of thing," Ash commented.

Briney nodded. "Aye, it's the place for blasting your enemies before they can recover and take you out! Hit her before she recovers!" He charged up and fired another Hyper Beam. Ash joined in with an Aura Sphere, Leo with Water Gun, Pikachu with a Thunderbolt, Tiny with Hidden Power, and Lily with Shadow Ball.

Sensing attacks inbound, the ninja's instincts kicked in, snapping her out of her frenzied state and returning her to the slightly less frenzied state that was the baseline for Hyper Mode. Flames wreathing her form, she crouched and Bounced into the air before the attacks could hit her, the projectiles and beams colliding and exploding below her and releasing an updraft of hot air that propelled her higher and extinguished the flames engulfing her. Her ice armor regenerating, her Shadow Aura blazed darkly and gained a red element as she shot down towards the Misdreavus with Frustration, intending to punish the witch for making her relive _that_. Lily almost didn't do anything, reasoning that Frustration was a Normal-type attack and shouldn't hurt her…but then thought better of it and quickly tried to phase out of the way, since there was no time left to use Substitute.

She hadn't counted on the ninja using Foresight beforehand, keeping her solid and preventing her from becoming transparent to avoid attacks or pass through objects. Lily had thought herself used to pain, but even so, the white-hot agony that seared through her body when the ninja slammed into her was rather astonishing. She was smashed down into the pavement so hard that it cratered around her, embedding her in bedrock and causing sharp rocks and puddles of the semi-acidic seawater to well up and painfully bite at her spectral form. "Uhhh…"

_Next time, you might want to think about _dodging_ something like that_, B told her.

_That advice would have been more useful a few seconds ago,_ Lily thought dazedly as dots swam before her eyes. The ninja drew back her claws, preparing to finish the ghost.

"Lily!" Leo yelled angrily as the witch's hat, knocked off in the attack, drifted to the ground nearby. Enraged, he spat Bubbles at the ninja, and then froze them with a bit of Ice Beam to turn them into hardened spherical ice bullets. The ninja conjured and hurled several ice kunai at the frozen bubbles, smashing them and causing bits of snow and ice shards to rain down around them. Narrowing her eyes, she hopped off of Lily and dashed towards Leo. He gulped. "Uh, maybe I should have thought this through a little more."

"You think?" Ash asked as he, Pikachu, and Briney ran past him to intercept the Buneary. Ash generated and hurled an Aura Sphere as he ran. The Buneary easily dodged the energy ball without losing speed and dashed towards him, claws and knives flying as she wildly stabbed at his chest. Remembering the speed she and Paul had demonstrated back at Mt. Battle, Ash was ready for her attack, having tried to train for something like this ever since his utter defeat back then for his eventual rematch with the twisted Weavile. He formed a Bone Rush staff and twirled it rapidly before him, using it to block and deflect her ultra-fast strikes. He twisted it around and brought it up under one of her arms as she lunged forward, knocking her off-balance and allowing him to kick her in the chest, shoving her backwards towards Pikachu's sword. She backflipped over him before he could strike her, lashing out with a foot at the back of his head and smashing his face into the pavement. She formed ice blades to hurl at his unprotected rear…

And that's when an entire _house_ smashed into her and pinned her to the ground, courtesy of Briney. "Wow," Ash said, impressed. "I didn't know you could lift things that big!"

"It takes practice," the Metang said smugly.

"There wasn't anyone in there, was there?" Pikachu asked as he picked himself back up.

"Not anymore there aren't," Briney said.

"I don't suppose that knocked her out?" Ash asked. There was a tremendous explosion and the house blew to pieces, the Shadow Aura of the enraged ninja swirling around her furiously. "Yeah, I didn't think so."

Eyes made with rage, the ninja took a step forward…and suddenly Tiny burst out of the ground and bit into her ankle. Her Aura burned at his gums, but he refused to let go, digging his sharp little teeth in with all the strength in his jaws. Unfortunately, the ninja, unlike most of the people Tiny had bitten, did not seem to be overly affected by his assault. She froze him solid with Ice Beam, picked him up, and hurled him away.

"Tiny!" Ash cried in alarm, rushing forward.

"Don't bother, I've got him," Briney said, telekinetically grabbing Tiny out of the air.

"Thanks," Ash said in relief.

"And that's the only thanks you'll get, too," Pikachu commented. "Though I suppose Tiny will at least be happy you didn't touch him."

"There's something wrong with that child…" Briney muttered.

"Tell us about it!" Pikachu agreed.

"Okay, that's it!" Leo said angrily. "You really hurt Lily and almost killed Tiny! Cool ninja girl who I'm pretty sure will join our party and become Pikachu's love interest once we purify you or not, you can't get away with something like that! You're going down!" He withdrew into his shell and launched himself at the ninja with a Rapid Spin. She batted him aside without even looking at him and continued advancing towards the remaining heroes, forcing Briney to telekinetically snatch the Squirtle before he could fall into the rather toxic waters nearby.

"Now is not the time to get angry, lad," the Metang scolded him, dangling Leo upside-down. "Or if you have to get angry, at least be constructive with it!"

"Right. Sorry," Leo said. "I should have known better. And speaking of constructive…" He retracted his head back into his shell and came back out wearing his sunglasses. He started scanning the ninja as she re-engaged Ash and Pikachu. "Hmm…"

Ash thrust the length of his Bone Rush staff at the Buneary's face at the same time Pikachu drove his sword at her legs from behind, trying to trip her over. She bent over backwards, gracefully twirling to pass between the sword and staff as they flew above and below her, lashing out at Ash's face with her feet as his momentum carried him over her and stabbing her claws towards Pikachu's eyes. The mouse ducked at the last second, the claws passing over his head as he brought up his Iron Tail to try and knock her away. She twisted again, grabbing onto the tail and using the momentum from the kick she had delivered to Ash's face to spin around it like a pole and launch herself back at the Lucario, still reeling back from her last attack, and smash her feet into his chest, knocking him over. She landed on the stunned Ash's chest, drawing back ice kunai to deal the final blow, but Tiny, having broken free from the ice he had been encased in when nobody was looking, tackled into her horn-first, knocking her backwards and right into a slash from Pikachu's sword that broke through the armor on her back, causing her Shadow Aura to writhe in reaction to the holy lightning crackling around Pikachu's blade. She stiffened, the near-contact with the blade causing her pain, and with a silent yell unleashed a blast of Shadow Aura that knocked Ash, Pikachu, and Tiny away.

As Pikachu drove his sword into the ground to anchor himself, he noticed that, even though he had seemingly wounded the ninja, he didn't appear to have drawn any blood. He knew from his father's stories that the sacred sword Thunder Fang was incapable of harming innocents, save for the shock it gave anyone who touched the blade that was not of the Thunderblade lineage. Had the ninja been a Nihilator, brigand, barbarian, or monster, the blow he had just dealt her might have severed her spine. The fact that it hadn't implied that the sword deemed her an innocent, or at the very least, not someone worthy of death. Pikachu had never entirely understood how a piece of metal, no matter how holy or enchanted, could determine something like that, but he knew better than to question its judgment. This seemed to speak a great deal for the ninja's character and implied that Pikachu might have misjudged her…but also presented a bit of a problem, for if his sword could not pierce her flesh or truly harm her, how was he supposed to stop her from hurting his friends in her tormented frenzy? Shock her into submission? Whack her with his tail and the flat of his blade? He rather doubted that would work effectively, given her armor and that protective Aura around her…

He didn't really get the chance to think about that any longer, because suddenly the ninja was right in front of him, about to slice his throat with an ice kunai. He quickly raised his sword, deflecting the blow, and swept the blade through the air several times before him, forcing her back. He zapped her with a Thundershock when she was no longer close to him, but her Shadow Aura and ice armor seemed to just absorb the charge. She flipped over and vanished. Pikachu quickly thrust his sword into his own shadow and conducted a powerful electrical blast through it, tearing the ground around him into large pieces…but also failing to get the ninja, who had reappeared high overhead and fired an Ice Beam down at him.

Before the beam could strike, a Protect formed over Pikachu as Briney shielded him from the potentially lethal attack. That didn't stop the beam from freezing the air around the Protect, however, creating an ice dome with Pikachu trapped inside. Glancing at the Metang with an annoyed look, the Buneary's Aura flared up as she used Frustration, launching herself at the Captain like a missile. Briney laughed and cracked his knuckles. "You think you know anger, lass? Let me show you the power of a rage that has festered for over a decade! Raaaahhhh!" He shot towards the Buneary, drawing back his arm as his fist glowed white. They collided head-on, Briney swinging his arm up in a Meteor Mash that smashed into the roaring red and black flames of the ninja's Frustration. Crackling energy nimbuses flared around them as they poured more power into their respective attacks, the ninja calling forth more of her boundless anger and hatred for her nemesis while the Metang summoned up his seemingly limitless reserves of determination and iron-headed stubbornness.

It was a close contest to see which emotion was stronger…but, as it often was, experience and age proved to be the determining factor, and so it was with not some small surprise that the ninja found a blazing metal fist breaking through her Aura and slamming into her face, knocking her back and splintering her faceplate as yellow, orange, and pink meteor-shaped particles bombarded her. Her helmet disintegrating and her Aura waning, she tumbled to the ground, bouncing and skidding a few times before coming to a stop. Dazed, she tried to get back up…

Only for Briney to suddenly grab her in an Ursaring-hug. "Not so fast, lass. We aren't through yet." He started to glow bright white, and then both of them were engulfed in a tremendous Explosion, shaking the harbor front and causing the water in the bay to slosh about and spread the flames on the burning ships.

"Yatta!" Leo exulted, viewing the blast from several meters away. "That's hardcore!"

"That didn't kill him, did it?" a recovered Lily asked worriedly.

"Nah, Explosion and Selfdestruct rarely kill the Pokemon that use them…which is odd, considering they're blowing themselves up," Leo commented. "Oh, here's your hat back, by the way." He handed it to her.

"Thank you, Leo," she said gratefully, putting it on her head. "You're making a habit of returning this to me. Maybe I should strap it on more securely so I don't keep losing it."

"Don't do that, then I wouldn't be able to give it back to you, and then what good would I be?" Leo asked jokingly. Lily smiled.

"Uh, could you guys help me out here? I'm trying to break through this thing and rescue Pikachu!" Ash said, pounding at the ice dome with his Metal Claws. "Almost…there!" A section of the structure caved in. Ash poked his head in. "Pikachu, you can come out now, we've…huh? There's nobody here!"

"That's because Tiny dug a way out a few minutes ago, and we just made it out from underground," Pikachu said, walking up from behind Ash with Tiny.

"Pikachu! You're all right!" Ash said in relief. "And Tiny, you saved him? Great job! I knew you'd grow to like somebody else sooner or later!" Tiny glared at him. "Huh? What's that for?"

"He didn't actually save me," Pikachu confessed. "He was just caught inside the dome like I was, so dug a way out to save himself. I crawled after him before he could collapse the tunnel behind him or something like that." Tiny sucked his pacifier in agreement.

Ash sweatdropped. "Oh. Well…at least you're out."

"Leo, where'd you disappear to until now?" Pikachu asked the Squirtle. "I haven't seen you since Briney kept you from falling into what I would laughingly refer to as 'water.'"

"Well, other than giving Lily some Potion to revive her, I was working on this!" Leo pulled out a somewhat familiar-looking gadget.

"Isn't that the thing we used to disable the control chips in the heads of the Caretakers back at the Tree of Beginning?" Ash recalled.

Leo nodded. "Yeah. I scanned the ninja and found out that those bastards planted a bomb in her! They probably intended to blow us all up if we managed to defeat her or something. However, it's got a remote detonator, so I figured that if I rewired my old transmitter I could hijack the frequency they're using to control the bomb and disarm it so we don't have to worry about her going kamikaze on us. And that's not the _only_ thing they did to her, either…"

"Wow. Good thing you caught that before Ash tried purifying her, otherwise we could have gotten ourselves killed," said an impressed Pikachu.

"Have you disarmed the bomb yet?" Ash asked.

Leo shook his head. "Almost. I just need a few more minutes to isolate the frequency."

"You'll have to do it a lot quicker than that, lad," Briney called as the smoke from his Explosion cleared, revealing that he had blasted a deep crater into the pavement and, other than some smoke rising off his form, was completely unharmed by the Explosion. The same could not be said of the ninja, however, who was clutched in the Metang's iron-tight grip, her ice armor almost completely destroyed and her Shadow Aura severely reduced as she struggled ineffectually at her captor's grip.

"Captain! You defeated her!" Lily exulted.

"Not quite, she's just stunned. She'll be back at full power any second now…she's more resilient than I bargained for," Briney grunted as he tightened his grip on the Buneary to keep her from wriggling free. "If we're going to save her, it'll have to be right now."

"If that's the case, then I'll have to start purification right away," Ash said reluctantly.

"What? But what about the bomb?!" Pikachu asked in alarm. "What if they set it off while you're working on her?!"

"I'll just have to trust Leo can disable it before that happens," Ash said. "If anyone can do it, he can."

"…Dude. Thanks," Leo said, blushing. "That means a lot to me."

"Since I'll be using the stronger method of purification, I'm going to be entering her heart using the power of Aura, which will make both of us oblivious to what's going on in the real world while I try and open her heart," Ash said. "I'm going to need to rely on the rest of you to protect us while I'm working on her in case something else happens."

"No problem. We've got your back!" Leo promised. "So long as somebody has mine so I can finish disarming her bomb before someone blows it up and kills all of us. We still have the bitch in that airship to worry about, after all."

"I will not let her hurt any of you," Lily promised, vowing once more to do everything she could to protect her friends.

"That's right, J's still up there, watching over us…" Pikachu murmured. He raised his sword. "We won't let her interfere." Tiny sucked his pacifier in agreement.

Ash smiled. "Thanks. I knew I could count on you guys."

"Will you hurry up and start already? She's getting stronger! I don't know if I'll be able to hold onto her when she gets back to full strength, I need to recharge a while longer before I can Explode again!" Briney shouted as the ninja started fighting him harder, eyes gleaming as her Shadow Aura began to burn more energetically.

"Right!" Ash closed his eyes and clasped his paws together, focusing his Aura-sight on the twisted, roiling, tortured mass of energy that was the ninja. He concentrated, blue Aura forming around him as the sensory organs on the back of his head stiffened and rose up. He opened his eyes. "Transcend," he whispered, hoping he'd get this right on the first time. He hadn't really had much of a chance to practice before now. "The boundaries of-"

_Ash._

Ash stiffened, sensing a familiar presence. He whirled around, spotting a tall, dark figure standing on top of a nearby rooftop. _"You!"_

"Ash. It's been a long time," Oblivion's Shadow said in Ash's voice, his mask reflecting Ash's face. "So good to see you again in the flesh…so to speak."

Pikachu started. "What the…who is that?!"

Leo gasped. "No way! That's the guy we saw Tarantulas talking to in the Tree of Beginning…Oblivion's Shadow, the leader of the Nihilators!"

Lily gasped. "No! If he's here…then is Mother…?!"

Briney snarled and narrowed his eye. "So…_that_ is the source of the evil…" He reached out with his mind, trying to see what was inside the villain's head…and was puzzled to find there was nothing there. Either Oblivion's Shadow was a Dark-type, or he didn't have a mind at all. "What the? Something doesn't seem right here…"

Ash clenched his fists and teeth, muscles tensing as his pupils shrank and his Aura blazed wildly all around him, looking, aside from the color, quite a lot like the ninja's had just minutes ago. "_You…_" he hissed.

_Please…don't die…_

_I'm so sorry…_

"I'LL KILL YOU!" Ash roared, rushing towards Oblivion's Shadow.

"Come to me, Ash. Show me what you've learned." The towering presence glided backwards, goading Ash on. The Lucario leaped into the air, landing on top of the building the Shadow had been standing on, and gave chase, his feet smashing burning pawprints into the crumbling roofs as he went, leaving his friends behind.

"Ash, wait! What do you think you're doing?!" Pikachu cried, shocked.

"Mon, now isn't the time to flip out! We need you to purify the ninja!" Leo yelled.

"I do not understand…why has he abandoned us?" a confused Lily asked. Tiny sucked his pacifier, looking equally baffled.

"No!" Briney gasped as the ninja's eyes flashed and her Aura came roaring back to full strength, burning at the Metang's metal body. "She's up! I can't hold-" The Buneary's Shadow Aura exploded outward, sending Briney flying away from her and buffeting the others back. The ninja landed on the ground, her armor reforming around her in seconds.

"Aw, crap. We're screwed," Leo groaned, putting his transmitter away.

The ninja seemed to concur with this assessment, forming more knives and charging towards them, murderous intent burning in her glowing red eyes.

…

"Come back here!" Ash snarled as he bounded across the rooftops after Oblivion's Shadow, hurling Aura Spheres at the cloaked figure as his Aura roiled around him. "I won't let you get away!"

"Do you even know why you are chasing me, Ash?" Oblivion's Shadow asked, swishing his cape and easily deflecting the Spheres as he gracefully glided from building to building. "Do you even know the source of your anger?"

"You're the leader of the Nihilators! You're responsible for Misty and Gardevoir getting kidnapped, the barbarians mobilizing back home, the death of the Tree of Beginning, the near-destruction of Battlus, and the reason that ninja is the way she is now! You're trying to destroy the whole world!" Ash snarled, charging towards the Shadow, Metal Claws out. "That's reason enough to be angry! If I take you down, it ends now!"

The Shadow feinted out of the way of Ash's blind charge, striking him with his cape as the Lucario passed and causing him to trip and fall on his face. "Uncontrolled and unfocused. I had expected better of you, Ash." Shadow Aura billowed around him as he threw back his cape, revealing the rest of his body. He was seven feet tall and bipedal, clad in black armor and a black bodysuit that seemed to absorb the light around it and filled out a lean rather than muscular form, with a thick cord wrapped around his waist like some sort of belt. He cupped his hands—each of which, Ash noted, had four digits, not that that necessarily narrowed down what kind of being was under that armor--and started forming an Aura Sphere, one that was black rather than blue and noticeably eviler-looking than the ones Ash used.

Ash started, this unexpected twist cutting through his anger. "What the…you can use Aura, too?!"

"Did you think you were the only one?" Oblivion's Shadow hurled the dark Aura Sphere.

Ash caught it in his hands. The strength behind the throw sent him sliding back across the rooftop, forcing him to dig his toes into the not entirely sturdy thatch and gravel and plaster to keep from being knocked over, his skid nearly sending him over the edge and into one of the many dark and unpleasant alleys that seemed to make up the majority of Treasure Town. He ground his teeth, his already-agitated Aura reacting negatively to the foreign Aura Sphere, the sheer power and malevolence washing off it nearly overwhelming him. With a grunt, he managed to fling it over his shoulder, causing it to shoot up at an angle and smash into the force field J had set up with a small explosion, leaving him gasping from the effort he had needed to get rid of the evil thing. Oblivion's Shadow was _strong…_ "No," he said, managing to catch his breath. "But I never thought I'd run into a Nihilator who could use it!" His eyes widened in disbelief. "But…if you're an evil Pokemon who can use Aura like that, then that must mean…"

"That I am a Dark One?" Oblivion's Shadow shrugged, his black Aura rippling in tune with his movements. "I suppose you could call me that, yes."

"But…the Aura Guardians wiped your kind out centuries ago! How can something like you still exist?!" an astonished Ash asked.

"No matter how thorough the cleansing, there's always one spot that gets missed…which is not to admit that I am a remnant of those ancient villains, merely that to assume they are completely extinct may not be entirely accurate. While they died out, their legacy was left behind in their records…detailed transcripts explaining the power of Shadow Aura, how to manipulate and close the heart, all the sorts of things the Aura Guardians were unwilling to try for themselves. Just as Tarantulas found those records, so did I…and from them I learned the power of Shadow, a power the dwindling Aura Guardians should have considered using, or else their line would not be as depleted as it is now!" Oblivion's Shadow said.

Ash snarled, Aura flaring up around him again. "Being an Aura Guardian is about more than power! Even if we are fading from the world, better that we do it on our own terms rather than corrupt ourselves the way the Dark Ones did!"

Oblivion's Shadow nodded. "A noble sentiment, and exactly the sort of thing I would expect you to say, Ash. But being the moral victor doesn't mean anything in the long run if you're dead."

"Then it's a good thing I intend to still be alive once I've killed you!" Ash howled, forming an Aura Sphere of his own and hurling it at Oblivion's Shadow.

The Shadow caught it in one palm and crushed it effortlessly. "Is that all the power you possess? I had expected more from you, Ash."

"You want it, you got it!" Ash yelled, forming a Bone Rush staff and charging Oblivion's Shadow again.

The Lucario swung, thrust, and jabbed at the Shadow with the bone staff. With an elegance and speed that seemed anomalous given his size, Oblivion's Shadow easily ducked, bobbed, weaved, and otherwise avoided Ash's attacks, seeming to treat the battle more like it was a dance than an actual fight. "That's a bit better. Still sloppy and uncontrolled, though. Have you learned nothing of the ways of Aura? Have you not learned the importance of patience and control over your emotions?"

"I've learned enough!" Ash retorted, flinging the staff at the Shadow's head. Oblivion's Shadow ducked, and the energy bone went whirling over him. Ash threw a punch at the Shadow's face as he lowered himself to Ash's level, his visceral drive to hurt the dark figure mitigated only slightly by the fact that he was still trying to figure out _why_ he wanted to fight Oblivion's Shadow so badly and the mild discomfort that came from fighting something that had the same face and voice as he did. What was up with that, anyway? Faster than lightning, one of Oblivion's Shadow's hands shot out and caught Ash's fist, mindful of the knuckle spike and not apparently harmed by the blue Aura burning around it. Ash's second paw shot forward, one of his legs swinging up to deflect Oblivion's Shadow's free hand and allowing his paw to connect with the Nihilator leader's chest and hit him with a full-force Force Palm that…

Did absolutely nothing. Oblivion's Shadow didn't even appear to be mildly fazed by the impact. Ash was surprised by this, and even more surprised when the Shadow kneed him in the gut and hopped back, reaching a hand out behind him and snatching the Bone Rush staff that had been flying back towards him like a boomerang (or Bonemerang) without even looking. He swung the staff around, connecting with Ash's nose and twisting his head around as the Lucario was sent flying backwards from the powerful blow. "While I give you credit for improvising, I have to take points away for lack of originality. Did you think you were the only Lucario who'd thought to use Bone Rush that way?"

Not bothering to admit that he had, Ash smashed his fists into the ground, sending a line of blue fire surging towards Oblivion's Shadow, splitting the roof in half as it went. The Shadow effortlessly hopped out of the way as the line shot past, not seeming especially concerned when large cracks started spreading from the fissure and the floor began to crumble. Ash quickly jumped to another building as the damaged roof caved in, smashing through the floors below it and causing the shoddily-built structure to collapse on itself, throwing up a great cloud of smoke and dust and leaving a pile of rubble in its wake.

"You might want to be more careful," Oblivion's Shadow commented as he levitated to join Ash on the next building. "You've probably put a large family out on the streets, where they will be torn to pieces by the things that lurk in them. That thought does not seem to have occurred to you before now. Are you sure you're the 'good guy' here?" Ash's growl of fury and charge towards him was all the answer the Lucario cared to give.

…

Back at the harbor, the ninja charged towards her foes…and abruptly vanished into shadow. As the five Pokemon glanced around warily, wondering where she had gone, the Buneary suddenly reappeared from underneath Leo's shadow, knocking him off-balance and allowing her to thrust her claws into the Squirtle's shell, piercing his natural armor and striking a vital organ, killing him. She removed her claws, formed an ice sword, and lunged at the stunned other four before they could make a move, splitting Tiny in two with her first strike, knocking away Pikachu's sword with the second and skewering him with the third. She fired an Ice Beam at the Misdreavus and then shattered the frozen ghost, ripping her ectoplasm to shreds, then leapt at the startled Metang and drove a knife into his remaining eye. As his metal form crashed to the ground behind her, she looked around, surveying the corpses of her prey…and blinked when they all vanished in puffs of smoke. What the…

She jumped out of the way before the Hyper Beam/Hidden Power/fire blast/Water Gun/Thunder combo fired from the very much alive members of Team Aurabolt could strike her, the combined attacks blasting apart the ground where she had been standing. "A mon could really get to like that Substitute trick of yours, Lily," Briney commented.

"Especially when they keep us from being brutally massacred," Leo agreed. "Not that that attack would have killed me, anyway, that spot she stabbed is right over where I keep my espresso machine. My life would have been spared…but at the loss of my morning coffee, and how could I face a new day without a steaming cup of joe to tide me over?" Tiny, who frequently snuck drinks from Leo's espresso machine when the Squirtle wasn't looking, sucked his pacifier in agreement.

Lily smiled. "I'm happy to do whatever I can to protect my friends."

_You're taking this pretty seriously,_ B commented, impressed. _You've really taken to this 'having friends' thing, haven't you?_

_They are the only ones I have, other than you. I do not want to lose them,_ Lily said.

The ninja narrowed her eyes, her Shadow Aura swirling around her in irritation. Its chaotic movements intensified, and suddenly split off as it spawned four duplicate ninjas, all of them sharing the same Aura, ice armor, and look of hatred in their eyes. "Great, looks like she's decided to take a page from our book and use doppelgangers too," Pikachu complained.

"Only one of them is the real one…" Briney muttered as the five ninjas started charging towards them. "But which is it?"

"Oh, that's easy, it's the second one from the left," Leo said, scanning the ninjas with his sunglasses. "The others are solid clones rather than illusions, but they should disappear if we knock the real one off balance enough."

"Sounds good to me," Pikachu said, cheeks crackling as he fired a Thunderbolt at the true ninja. She dodged out of the way and flung an ice kunai at him. All the ninjas did, actually. He had to swing his sword before him to deflect the knives, and then all the ninjas disappeared. "Oh great, where are they now?"

"Hiding in the shadows, no doubt…" Briney growled.

"But which ones?" Lily asked, anxiously looking at the ground. The dancing flames from the still-burning pub and the ships out in the bay cast flickering shadows all over the place. "They could be anywhere…"

'Anywhere' turned out to be right underneath them, as the ninjas emerged from each member of Team Aurabolt's respective shadow and lashed out at them. However, they had halfway been expecting this, so were ready. Tiny immediately Dug underground to avoid the lethal blow, Pikachu brought his sword and Iron Tail up to bear, Briney steeled himself with Iron Defense, Lily simply set her clone on fire to destroy it instantly…and Leo's espresso machine paid the ultimate price. "Noooo! My espressooooo!" he howled in anguish as the puzzled ninja withdrew her claws from his shell, wondering why they were covered in caffeinated brown liquid rather than red blood. "You bitch! You'll pay for that!" He hit her with a Headbutt, though it did minimal damage to her armor and only burned the top of his head against her Shadow Aura. "Ow, ow, ow!" Annoyed, the ninja swung an ice sword at his head, but he quickly Withdrew completely into his shell and slammed into her chest with Rapid Spin, causing her to disappear in a puff of smoke, since, of course, she had just been a fake.

The three remaining ninjas backflipped away and fired Ice Beams in unison at the group. Briney quickly raised a Protect shield, and just like before the beams struck it and froze the heroes inside a dome of ice. The interior was rather dark, save for the glow from Pikachu's sword and the energy shield Briney had raised, but it got brighter when Lily conjured a small fireball. "I'm not sure that's a good idea," Pikachu said. "Won't that use up our air faster?"

Lily blinked. "Air? Oh, right, I forgot that living folk need to breathe…"

"Don't worry, it shouldn't be a problem if we Dig our way out before they get in here," Leo said, already waist-deep in the ground with Tiny.

"I doubt it'll keep them out for long, she was able to bypass my barrier by going through my shadow before," Briney pointed out, grunting slightly from the effort needed to keep the shield up so the heavy ice overhead didn't cave in and crush them.

"Then while we have a moment to catch our breaths…Leo, you mentioned earlier that the bomb they put in her wasn't the only thing the Nihilators did to her. What did you mean?" Pikachu asked Leo.

Leo glanced up. "Hmm? Oh, that? It turns out they put these special contact lenses over her eyes that makes it look to her as if everyone she sees is Paul. That's why she's so angry and determined to kill us, she thinks we're the guy she's sworn to kill and hates more than anyone else on Earth."

"So that explains it…" Pikachu murmured.

"But there is only one of Paul and five of us. Doesn't she think it is odd that there are five Pauls?" Lily asked.

Pikachu shook his head. "First of all, Paul's a ninja too so can use the same duplication trick as her, so she might think the rest of us are fakes. Additionally…she's not exactly in a sane state of mind right now, so there being more than one Paul may not be as important to her as _killing_ every Paul she sees is."

"You don't think her being a Shadow Pokemon might be enough for her to try and kill us anyway?" Briney asked skeptically.

Pikachu frowned. "From what I gathered during our encounters in the past, she seemed to take her personal code of honor very seriously and was adamant that she not kill innocents…even if they broke her, something like that can become so ingrained in a person, so part of their subconscious, that not even brainwashing can make it completely go away. That's why I'm immune to things like Hypnosis or mind control…I take my bushido so seriously that I refuse to let anything force me to break it. I may not agree with the ninja code, but from what I've seen of her I get the feeling it's the same for her."

"Talk about heroic willpower," Leo said admiringly.

"So if we take out those contact lenses, she might come to her senses, or at least stop trying to kill us?" Lily asked. "How are we going to do that?"

"I could gouge out her eyes," Briney suggested. "What? We can grow them back," he said when everyone (but Tiny) gave him horrified looks.

"Aside from the fact that the Joy in Treasure Town isn't someone I'd go to even if I was moments away from death, I don't know if that would help," Pikachu said. "If she couldn't see us, how would she know we weren't Paul?"

"We'd tell her we weren't?" Lily suggested.

"Nah, that sort of thing rarely works in these kinds of fights. In her current rather insane condition, I doubt she'll trust what she hears over what she's seeing. We need to remove those lenses first," Leo said.

"I don't see why they bothered with removable things like that in the first place…" Briney muttered. "Why didn't they just rewire her brain or surgically alter her eyes to make her think we're that rival of hers? That would keep her in a permanent state of bloodlust and also make it harder for Pokemon like us to snap her out of it."

Leo shrugged. "The heck should I know? Maybe they figured it would interfere with her fighting ability or something. Their loss is our gain, though, because if all we need to do is pull out her lenses, then maybe she'll stop trying to kill us."

"We can't save her without Ash, though," Lily pointed out. "I hope he returns soon…"

Leo frowned. "Yeah, what's the deal with that, anyway? I know Oblivion's Shadow is the Big Bad and Ash thinks he has some connection to him, but to just dump us like that and run off on his own? Not cool, mon!" Tiny nodded in agreement.

"I'm sure he had a good reason," Pikachu said. He frowned. "And he'd better tell us what it is when he gets back or there'll be trouble."

Speaking of trouble, it was at that moment that the ninja Buneary decided to appear inside the dome, and it quickly became clear why she had been taking so long: she'd been making more of herself. A _lot_ more. Team Aurabolt stared in horror at the three dozen knife-wielding ninja clones surrounding them, their eyes gleaming in the dim light from Lily's flame and Pikachu's sword and the Shadow Auras crackling around them, seeming to consume everything nearby. "Oh dear," Lily said faintly.

"Uh, Leo, I don't suppose that conservation of ninjutsu thing you keep going on about will finally kick in against an actual ninja?" Pikachu asked quietly.

"I'm not sure how badly I want to find out," Leo said tremulously.

The ninja raised their knives. Briney narrowed his eye, then abruptly dropped his Protect barrier, causing the ice to sag and crack above them, and quickly generated a new one around everyone except for himself. "Get underground!" he shouted to his horrified teammates as the ninjas charged at him. "I'll take care of them!"

"But what about you?!" Pikachu protested.

"I'll be all right; it'll take more than this to defeat me!" Briney boasted as the ninjas leaped onto him. He vanished underneath a Growlithepile while several other Bunearies started smashing against the new barrier to try and reach the heroes.

"Come on, we've gotta book it!" Leo insisted, dragging Pikachu towards the hole Tiny had been digging all the while.

"But what about-" Lily started.

Leo laughed. "Relax, at least seventy-five percent of the time someone makes a heroic sacrifice to save their friends, they'll still be alive at the end of it, though maybe a little worse for wear. He'll be fine!"

"Well, if you say so," Lily said uncertainly, deciding Leo knew best about this sort of thing. She followed her friends into the tunnel. Soon after, the Barrier collapsed, and the ninja clones rushed towards the hole to pursue them…

When they were engulfed in a tremendous Explosion that destroyed them all, shattered the ice dome, broke all the broken glass for about half a mile around, and tore yet another deep crater in the harbor front. At this rate, it wouldn't be long before the port was more holes than ground, and the townsPokemon were going to need to pull back and let the sea reclaim the wasted terrain. Another hole revealed itself as Leo and Tiny clawed their way back to the surface, Pikachu and Lily climbing out after them. "Wow," Pikachu commented when he saw the latest smoking crater littering the battlefield. "He sure knows how to go all out, doesn't he?"

"Do you think they survived that?" Lily asked.

"Of course they did, whenever there's a big explosion or accident that it doesn't look like anyone could possibly survive, the people who were in the middle of it always survive, especially if no bodies are ever found, and it's an even _bigger_ certainty if they're the bad guys," Leo assured her. "In fact, if my calculations are correct, that means our ninja friend is sneaking up right behind us now, planning to kill us while we're grieving over our fallen comrade." He turned around. Sure enough, there was the ninja. She blinked in surprise, startled that she had been spotted so easily. "Yep, totally called it."

"Wow, how do you always know these things?" asked an amazed Lily. "Are you precognitive, like a Xatu?"

"Nah, just genre-savvy, which is even better because that means I don't have to deal with annoyingly vague and intrusive visions of the future," Leo said.

"That's debatable," Pikachu muttered. Tiny sucked his pacifier in agreement.

The ninja's Aura swirled and she ran at them. They prepared themselves for a fight…

And then a house dropped on her. They blinked. Leo glanced up. "Funny, I don't see any tornados…should we be expecting singing munchkins to show up in a minute?"

"No, that was me," Briney said as he floated over, his metallic form still smoking a little from his previous Explosion.

"Captain! You're all right!" said the relieved Lily.

Briney grinned. "Well, of course I am. I've blown myself up harder than that more times than I could count. How do you think I destroyed all those Nihilator bases, pressed a self-destruct button? What fool would put those out where some idiot could push it?"

"You do realize you've probably put some family out on the (literally) ravenous streets by taking their house from them," Pikachu said.

"Don't worry, I made sure it was the headquarters of a child trafficking operation before appropriating it for my own means," Briney said.

"Oh. Good," Pikachu said, somewhat relieved.

"Was there anyone inside?" Leo asked.

"Not anymore there isn't," Briney said smugly.

The house exploded in a blast of Shadow Aura, revealing the Buneary ninja yet again. She was bleeding all over, her armor had been cracked and broken in countless places, but the look of raw hatred and madness in her eyes hadn't diminished in the slightest. With a silent scream, her Aura exploded outwards, creating a wind that stirred the flames engulfing the bay and buffeted the heroes back. "Why am I not surprised she survived that?" Pikachu asked with a sigh. _And somewhat relieved. Because she's a victim we're trying to save, _not_ because I have feelings for her, no matter what Leo keeps saying!_

"Mon, she just keeps on coming!" Leo said.

"Amazing…she just refuses to give up…" said an amazed Lily.

"Neither would I, in her place…" Briney said with grudging approval. "She will do anything to have her revenge…just like I would."

"That's fine and dandy, except she's having revenge on the _wrong people_ right now!" Leo yelled. "We need to get those lenses out before somebody gets hurt, namely us!"

"Hmm…I think I have an idea," Pikachu said.

"I think it's a good one, too," Briney said.

"Stop reading my mind," Pikachu snapped.

"No," Briney said bluntly. Pikachu's eye twitched.

"Uh, what was that about a plan?" Leo asked.

The ninja conjured kunai and started dashing towards them. "No time. Briney, you know what to do," Pikachu said. The Metang nodded and floated off. "Lily, set her on fire!"

Lily blinked. "What? But the last time I did that, she-"

"It doesn't matter. Do it again!" Pikachu ordered.

"All right…" Lily said nervously. She concentrated as the Buneary Bounced towards them…and abruptly burst into flame, eyes opening wide in agony as she fell to the ground, burning once again.

"Leo, put her out with Water Gun!" Pikachu said.

"Huh? But then what was the point of-" the confused Leo asked.

"Just do it!" Pikachu shouted. Leo quickly sprayed the Buneary with Water Gun, putting out the flames. Before she could recover, Pikachu charged up his sword and blasted her with a wave of holy lightning, causing her to squeeze her eyes shut and arc her back in pain as the power convulsed through her form, her Aura tearing itself apart as it fought against the crackling static. "Now, douse her again and hit her with Ice Beam!"

"I don't know what good that'll do since she seems to be pretty good with ice, but okay," Leo said, spitting Bubbles this time since he knew if he hit the ninja with a Water Gun, the residual electricity around her would conduct back up the water flow and into him. The Bubbles burst against the paralyzed ninja, splashing her and causing her to flinch again as it reacted negatively with the electricity still inside of her, and things only got worse when Leo hit her with an Ice Beam, freezing her in a block of ice. "Now what?"

"Lily, thaw her out. With fire. Lots of fire. Then put her out again, Leo," Pikachu said.

"Okay," Lily said, destroying the ice block with a tremendous burst of flame before the Buneary could smash out of it, setting her on fire again.

"There a reason we're repeating ourselves?" Leo asked as he doused the ninja with another Water Gun.

"Simple," Pikachu said after he zapped the Buneary with another burst of electricity. "We're wearing her down."

"Ohhh. I get it." Leo nailed the ninja with more Bubbles, and then froze her with another Ice Beam before she could recover. "Keep hitting her and knocking her off-balance until she can't get up again. Clever tactic. Not exactly fair or honorable, though."

"My idea of honor isn't always the same as yours is," Pikachu said as Lily incinerated the frozen ninja again. "It means different things to different people."

"Right." Leo put out the flaming rabbit again. "And the reason Tiny isn't helping is…"

"Because if I gave him an order, he would refuse to obey it," Pikachu said. Tiny sucked his pacifier in agreement as the samurai zapped the ninja again.

"Makes sense," Leo said as he hydrated and froze the Buneary for a third time. "And Briney flew off because…"

The ice shattered as the Buneary's patience reached its limit, Shadow Aura raging around her as she prepared to use Frustration…and then Briney dropped a third house on her. "Sorry I took so long," he apologized as he returned to the group. "I was trying to find just the right group of scum to steal a building from. Eventually I decided to use one of the additional houses the town's corrupt Nurse Joy obtained by exploiting her patients and selling their sexual services (and organs) for profit."

"Sounds like an acceptable target," Leo said. Tiny sucked his pacifier in agreement.

There was a blast of Shadow Aura, and the house crumbled. The ninja Buneary rose to her feet…and staggered. She looked like a real mess, the repeated blows and multiple houses they'd thrown at her finally taking their toll. Her armor had been almost completely destroyed, and blood was flowing from an alarming number of wounds. Her entire form was shaking from equal parts anger and sheer exhaustion, and her Aura had gone from a blazing inferno of darkness to a somewhat less intimidating molder. Her red eyes seemed to ache with weariness…but also with determination, as she took one step, then another, limping towards her targets with nothing less than sheer willpower and determination keeping her from passing out. It was both awe-inspiring and kind of sad.

"Wow…we really did a number on her, didn't we?" Leo said guiltily.

"How can she keep going in that condition?" wondered an astonished Lily.

"She's driven," Briney said admiringly. "She refuses to let anything stop her from getting what she wants…even severe wounds and being on the brink of unconsciousness."

"Then let's see if we can't show her she's being driven in the wrong direction," Pikachu said. "Briney, you know what to do."

The Metang nodded. "Right." He flew over and wrapped his arms around the Buneary from behind, holding her in place. Like before, she struggled, the flames of her Shadow Aura stirring up, but she was far weaker now than she had been before, and was unable to put up much of a fight.

"What, are we gonna blow her up _again?_ That seems a bit like overkill, and this is from a guy who thinks there's no kill like overkill," Leo commented.

Pikachu shook his head. "No. Besides, I doubt Briney's built up enough of a charge to Explode again. Lily, use those hair-things of yours to pull out the lenses. They should be able to penetrate her weakened Aura without getting burned, plus they're small and precise enough to remove the lenses without ripping out her eyes in the process."

"Um…right! No problem!" Lily said, deciding not to mention that her hair tendrils were also sharp enough to gouge out someone's eyes if she wanted them to. Her hair rustled, and two strands elongated themselves and shot out for the ninja, twisting over and around each other until they reached the Buneary's face. Understandably thinking the Misdreavus was going to put her eyes out, the ninja quickly squeezed them shut. That didn't prove to be much of a hindrance for Lily, however, as the ends of her hairs split into smaller manipulators which pried the ninja's eyelids open, then carefully slid around the edges of the almost invisible contact lenses and popped them out without scratching her corneas. "Got them," she said as she retracted her hairs and dropped the two small red half-spheres into the hands of Leo, who she figured could find something to use them for.

Pikachu released a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "Good job, Lily. Briney, let her go, but stay close just in case she makes any sudden moves."

Briney nodded, released his prisoner, and backed away. The ninja slumped forward and almost fell to the ground, managing to catch herself at the last minute. She looked up, eyes burning with anger…which promptly turned to confusion when she saw that the four Pokemon standing before her were not, in fact, Paul, but somebody else. Somebody familiar. As she tried to process this unexpected surprise, her Aura died down until it was little more than a vague black outline hovering over the surface of her skin. _What…what is…_ she said in clickspeak, reflexively tapping her claws against the remaining ice plates on her thigh. _How did I…what are you…what is going on?!_

"What is she doing?" Lily asked.

"She's talking in clickspeak, a method of nonverbal communication some Pokemon who are incapable of talking or speaking telepathically use," Leo explained.

Lily's eyes widened. "Ohhh…so _that's_ why the prisoners Mother tore the vocal cords out of were always tapping like that…" Leo blanched. Tiny sucked his pacifier.

Pikachu took a cautious step forward. "Do you remember who we are? I'm Pikachu, and that's Leo, Tiny, and our newest friends, Lily and Captain Briney. You've bumped into us a number of times now, and we've managed to help each other out once or twice."

The Buneary grimaced, clutching her head in pain. _Ugh…Pi…kachu? Yes, I…I remember you. Shouldn't there be a Lucario too?_

"He…ran off," Leo said.

_How did I…how did I get here? Where is here? Why am I in this condition?_ The ninja asked, looking down at herself in confusion.

"The last time we saw you, you vanished into a giant airship chasing Paul," Pikachu said. "Do you remember anything after that?"

She blinked. _An airship?_

Briney nodded. "One belonging to the Nihilators."

"And they turned you into a Shadow Pokemon. We've been fighting you for the last several minutes!" Leo said.

She stiffened. _Shadow? I am…_ She looked back down at her paws, noticing her black Aura for the first time. _No…this…this can't…_ Her ears quivered and her eyes shrank as memories started flashing through her mind. Memories of pain and torment and the laughter of her nemesis. Memories of a pillar of darkness with her face bending over and whispering…whispering…

The Anti-Life Equation.

She clutched her head and screamed, or would have if she had had a voice. Her Shadow Aura, which had almost faded away, ignited back into life, burning stronger and colder than ever before and blasting all of them back as her wounds began to mend and her armor repaired itself. "Oh shit! She's gonna blow!" Leo cried.

"Briney-" Pikachu started.

"I can't get close to her like this, lad!" Briney grunted as he tried to fight against the wind and waves of power washing off the (silently) screaming Buneary. "But maybe I can…" He tried encasing the ninja in a Light Screen to contain her power. This had a less than optimal effect, as her Aura exploded outward and shattered it, causing a feedback that nearly knocked one of the Metang's brains out of commission. Fortunately, he still had a spare, so wasn't in particularly bad shape. "Ugh…she's too strong, which is something I never thought I'd say of any Pokemon!"

"Lily, light her up!" Pikachu ordered.

"Right!" Lily concentrated…

And lost her train of thought when a wave of Shadow Aura blasted out from the seething mass raging around the ninja, knocking her away. "Lily!" Leo cried in alarm before he, too, was thrown away. Briney used Iron Defense to protect himself, but the impact still threw him several meters away. Tiny, seeing where this was going, quickly burrowed to safety before he could get hit too.

Pikachu raised his sword to guard himself…but much to his surprise, the strike he was expecting never came. Instead, purple and black ice started forming on the ground beneath the Buneary, spreading out and beneath Pikachu as icy winds blew and black snowflakes began to fall from the sky until he and the ninja found themselves standing on a patch of what looked like one of the colder parts of the Abyss transported to the world of mortals. This impression was reinforced when the ground split open and burst at the edges of the patch of ice, and tremendous jagged spires of purple and black ice ripped out of the cobblestones and towered into the sky, growing and intertwining and lacing around each other to create a formidable wall of frozen spikes completely enclosing Pikachu and the ninja in and keeping everyone else out.

"Wh-what was that?!" asked the startled Lily as she floated back into the air.

"Shit!" Leo swore. "Not this again!"

Lily gave him a surprised look. "This has happened before?"

"When Ash fought Paul at Mt. Battle and was about to lose, the ninja showed up to fight him, and the two of them used their ice ninjutsu powers to turn the whole arena into a subzero battlefield where they could duke it out to the death! Oh, and Ash got stuck inside. None of them seemed to particularly care about that," Leo said.

"And now it's Pikachu's turn..." said Briney as he floated over.

"Then we have to get inside there and help him before he gets hurt!" Lily said, summoning a large fireball, intending to melt her way through the ice.

_You do realize you could just fly over the wall,_ B pointed out.

Lily sweatdropped. "Oh. Right." She dissipated the flames.

"Were you talking to that friend of yours again or was that a sentence fragment out of nowhere?" Leo asked.

"It was her friend again," Briney said.

"Oh, you can hear her too?" Lily asked in surprise.

"I can read your mind, so I can see the thoughts that go on in there…including conversations with imaginary friends. Or beings from another dimension. Not sure which this 'B' is," Briney said.

"Neither am I, really," Lily admitted.

"The legitimacy of your friend's existence isn't our concern right now. What is our concern is getting in there, saving Pikachu from that crazy ninja bunny, and getting Ash back here to purify her!" Leo said.

"They might have something to say about that," Briney said, looking past Leo.

"Who's they?" Lily asked.

Briney pointed behind them. Leo and Lily turned around. Their faces went pale. "Aw, crud," Leo said.

"Oh dear," Lily agreed.

_Not good,_ B said.

Several dozen heavily armed and armored Pokemon had rappelled down from the ominous black airship hovering above Treasure Town and were now facing the group, weapons and gear bristling as they eagerly awaited the opportunity to use it. A large Salamence hovered above the mob, a monstrous Drapion with a visor and a strange contraption on her left arm riding on its back with a terrifying grin on her face. Tiny quivered in rage, his pupils shrinking and Aura starting to swirl to life around him as he stared at the airborne scorpion. "All right, mons!" Hunter J shouted. "It's time to earn our paychecks! Get them!"

J's henchmon roared and charged towards Team Aurabolt. "THIS IS GONNA SUUUUCK!" Leo yelled.

…

Meanwhile, Ash and Oblivion's Shadow were still fighting. Or rather, Ash was fighting, while Oblivion's Shadow kept dodging and easily evading Ash's attacks, causing the Lucario to make a fool of himself.

"Stand still!" Ash snapped, his anger lending more power to his Aura than usual and allowing him to form and lob a massive Aura Sphere in mere seconds.

"All right." Oblivion's Shadow didn't move out of the way of the attack. In fact, he reached out a hand, caught the Sphere, and _absorbed_ it, the energy from the ball visibly surging up his arm, across his chest, down his other arm, and out his other hand in the form of a massive energy blast that Ash barely managed to avoid, the returned shot vaporizing a large chunk of the building they were standing on.

"You know that trick?!" asked the startled Ash.

"I know _all_ the tricks," Oblivion's Shadow said as his Shadow Aura started swirling around him again. He levitated into the air and stretched his arms out beside him. The roof started shaking, and Ash had to catch his balance to keep himself from falling over. Cracks snaked along the walls and rooftop, and with a tremendous creaking groan the entire building tore away from its foundations and floated into the air, parts of its structure and interior crumbling away and falling back towards the ground as it rose higher and higher. And the building Ash was standing on wasn't the only one, too. Oblivion's Shadow had also ripped several of the other nearby buildings off the ground, and they were now all floating at different heights, large portions of them collapsing or falling off from the strain of being moved such a great distance only to stop midway in their descent, slowly turning about in space as they hovered in place.

Ash stared out in astonishment at the multitude of floating platforms and islands Oblivion's Shadow had created. "…Why can't _I_ do that?!"

Oblivion's Shadow landed some distance away, atop a warehouse that had been flipped on its axis so it almost looked like a skyscraper. He extended his hands to the sides, a pair of black energy blades forming in them. "Come."

Ash growled and narrowed his eyes. "Okay…if that's what you've asked for!" He formed his Metal Claws and charged towards Oblivion's Shadow, leaping off the edge of his roof and sailing across the void towards the closest land mass, a portion of crumbling wall slowly revolving about an invisible axis. He landed on its side as it started flipping towards him, causing parts of it to begin disintegrating. He dashed up the steepening slope as it continued spinning, seemingly unaware of its imminent demise, and jumped off the top before it was completely destroyed, raining dust and pieces of brick down on the already filthy streets below.

As Ash landed on another rooftop that seemed to be missing most of its building and kept coming, Oblivion's Shadow conjured several dozen Shadow Balls and energy blades, which started raining down on Ash from all angles. Ash closed his eyes, his Aura-sense and reflexes warning him of the trajectory of the incoming missiles. He bobbed and weaved, hopping forward and back and side to side to dodge the projectiles, deflecting any that came too close or that he didn't have time to dodge with his Metal Claws while continuing his progress towards the next platform. The energy balls and blades he avoided or knocked away smashed through the roof, creating large holes which gaped wider as the fragile platform began to crumble around the edges. Ash danced and jumped about, using his agility and acrobatic skills to avoid the incoming attacks while also keeping away from the expanding holes. He reached the edge of the roof and jumped off as it disintegrated behind him, arcing through the air towards the next set of platforms…

Which Oblivion's Shadow destroyed, Shadow Balls smashing into the platforms and ripping them to pieces. Undaunted, Ash used ExtremeSpeed in conjunction with his reflexes, time seeming to slow down for him as he landed with one paw on a piece of debris, jumped off, landed on another piece of rubble, jumped off that one, and kept moving from chunk of stone to chunk of stone, climbing higher and higher into the air and crossing the expanse in only a fraction of a second. He landed on a hovering pole with some poor Pokemon's head impaled on its tip and ran down its length, maintaining perfect balance despite the incredibly narrow span and the projectiles shooting towards him from all over the place. This couldn't help but remind him of one of Chuck's obstacle courses, except that this was real while Chuck's was just a simulation…and he found himself wondering if Oblivion's Shadow was testing him as well.

He leaped off the end of the pole, kicked off a vertical portion of wall hovering in thin air, rebounded off another vertical section, and landed on top of another building as the walls he had just used were destroyed by Shadow Balls. The warehouse was right in front of Ash, and Oblivion's Shadow stood on its top (or rather, its side), his very existence an insult that set Ash's blood boiling and made his Aura writhe without even fully understanding why. He started running towards the warehouse…

And found his way blocked by a half dozen replicas of the Shadow, formed from his Aura. Ash smirked as they drew their energy blades and concentrated, his own Aura expanding and splitting apart to create an equal number of Aura clones of himself. He was still working on this technique, so his clones were only marginally stronger than your average Double Team illusion, and creating them was a serious energy drain, but the fact that he could even make them at all was a mark of how far his training was progressing and how much more skill he had gained in using Aura than he had before Chuck had given him Aaron's book. Ash stopped for a moment and allowed his doubles to run ahead of him to engage the clones of Oblivion's Shadow, then quickly ran around them while they were distracted fighting each other. More clones of the Shadow appeared in his path, but Ash knew that since they were all formed from the same source Aura, the more there were of them the weaker they became, so he was easily able to dodge around them or tear them back into Shadow Aura with some punches and kicks and swipes from his claws.

Leaving all distractions behind him, Ash leaped off the edge of the roof, landed on the side of the warehouse, and started running up its sheer face, dismissing his claws and forming a Bone Rush staff which he molded, by squeezing one end and running a paw along its length, into a gleaming blue blade of pure Aura. Oblivon's Shadow chuckled and leaped off his perch, landing on the side of the warehouse and gliding down its length towards Ash, blades held at his sides. As they charged towards each other, eyes locked and Auras blazing, the distance between them shrank from meters, to feet, to inches…

And then they collided, the clash of their attacks so strong it ripped the warehouse in two and sent its halves falling end over end back towards the lot it had vacated. Ash tumbled through the air and landed hard on the rooftop where he and Oblivion's Shadow's clones had been battling mere moments ago. He gasped in pain as the shock ran up his legs and fell to his knees, clutching his bleeding arm in pain where Oblivion's Shadow had come very close to cutting it off. The Shadow himself gracefully landed nearby, not even looking remotely winded from the battle. "Hmmph. Not bad, but not good enough. I was expecting better of you."

"Expecting?!" Ash snarled as he staggered to his feet, using Aura to cauterize his wound. "What…what is this?! Is all this just a game to you?"

The Shadow tilted his head to the side. "What gives you that idea?"

"You're fighting me with my own face…my own voice…you're not using your full power…and you aren't even _here!_" Ash shouted. "I saw you with Aura-sight! You're not real…you're just a projection! The real you is probably miles away, watching all this and laughing as I make a fool out of myself wasting my time on you!"

"…Ash, this is no game," the Shadow said, deadly serious. "If I simply wanted to fight you for my own entertainment, I wouldn't have even bothered sending a projection. You have no idea how important this is…and how much you mean to me."

"How much I…what the hell are you talking about?!" Ash shouted.

Oblivion's Shadow shook his head. "If I told you, it would ruin everything I have worked for…and all the progress you have made."

"Ruin? Progress?! What…what the fuck are you even saying?!" Ash yelled in exasperation, Aura flaring up around him in reaction to his anger. "You aren't making any sense! Stop speaking in riddles and give me some clear answers already!"

"Answers? To which questions?" the Shadow asked.

"To everything! I _know_ you! I don't know how, or where, but you or I have met before. I recognized you when I saw you in the Tree of Beginning…and the very thought of you makes my blood boil and my vision to go red and this, this _urge_ to grab you by the neck and throttle you against a rock until your blood and brains splatter out all over the place fills me…which is something I've never felt towards _anyone_ before, not even the meanest, nastiest, most monstrous bastards I've fought since I came to this world! How do I know you? And why do you make me so _angry_, angrier than I've ever felt before, angrier than an Aura Guardian is ever supposed to be?!" Ash cried, his Aura seething around him to reflect his unnatural fury.

"…The answers to that lie in your past," Oblivon's Shadow said after a brief hesitation. "Just how much of your life as a human do you remember, Ash?"

Ash blinked. "Huh? My life as a human? What does that have to do with…wait. _Wait._ How do you know I was a human?! How could you possibly-" He stiffened, a horrible thought occurring to him. One that had been entertained before, but not one he had seriously considered until that very moment. "Lord Null. You're him, aren't you? You're Lord Null, the leader of Annihilation, the guys who destroyed my world!"

Oblivion's Shadow nodded after a moment. "Lord Null…that is not a name I have heard a while. So you remember that much, do you?"

"Answer me!" Ash demanded. "Are you Null or not?!"

"I once went by that name, yes…" Oblivion's Shadow admitted. "And…you are correct, the guilt for the destruction of your world falls squarely on my shoulders."

Ash lost it. "YOU BASTARD!" Ash howled as he charged forward, Aura growing bigger and angrier and _darker_ as he formed a new Bone Rush sword and swung it at Oblivion's Shadow. The Shadow summoned his own sword and brought it up to guard himself, deflecting Ash's frenzied blows as the enraged Lucario assaulted him verbally as well. "You almost destroyed this world a thousand years ago and have been trying to finish the job ever since, doing absolutely horrible things and ruining countless lives in the process…and since you weren't making any headway here, you came to my universe and destroyed my Earth, too? What, one world wasn't enough for you?! What did we do to you? Why us?! What kind of sick fuck are you that you need to destroy whole planets and kill billions of people to feel good about yourself?!"

Oblivion's Shadow blinked (or at least, the reflection of Ash's face blinked), and his defense slipped, allowing Ash to score a hit against the apparition's chest. The illusion drifted back, Shadow Aura leaking from its chest, as Ash lunged forward, trying to take advantage of this weakness. Recovering, the Shadow brought his blade back up and renewed his defense. "Came to your…what are you talking about? You still haven't…" The reflection's eyes widened, and gave Ash a look of what almost seemed like pity. "You poor boy. You still don't understand, do you?"

Ash hesitated, his blade inches away from the Shadow's crackling weapon. "Understand? What don't I under-"

Oblivion's Shadow went on the offensive, using his height, skill, and overwhelming power to push Ash back, lashing out with repeated slashes and stabs so quickly that the Lucario was unable to deflect them all, tearing open bleeding gashes on his limbs and chest. He brought his blade down in an incredibly powerful two-handed overhead chop, and Ash had to raise his own blade to counter it, a tremendous shock running through his limbs as Oblivion's Shadow pressed down on him. His Aura blazing up as he tried to gather more strength, Ash pushed back, sweat running down his face as he tried to keep the Shadow's weapon from breaking through his own and slicing open his face. "You understand nothing," Oblivion's Shadow told him. "You think that this world is a different one from your place of birth? That after I destroyed your world, you somehow traveled through space and time to this one, taking the form of a Lucario in the process? You aren't entirely wrong in this assumption, but neither are you right."

"Wh-what do you-" Ash started through gritted teeth.

"You never left your universe of origin, Ash. This world? This planet, this Earth? It is the same place you started on," Oblivion's Shadow said.

This revelation was so shocking that Ash almost lost his grip on his weapon. "…W-what?" he whispered.

"The disaster I caused a thousand years ago and the cataclysm that befell the world in your memory are one and the same," Oblivion's Shadow explained. "A millennium ago, under the guise of Lord Null, I ravaged this world, leading to the end of everything you held dear…though that was not my intention and something I am truly sorry for. My ambitions were thwarted at the last moment and this world was remade anew…so I had no choice but to try and destroy it all over again."

"What? But…but I thought-" Ash stammered.

"What? That this was a parallel universe, one where humans were extinct and the friends you knew from your world existed as Pokemon here? Not a bad theory, but incorrect in this instance. The reason there are so many people in this world who seem familiar, so many friends that you're sure you once knew, are because they _are_ the same people you met when you were a human…reincarnated a thousand years later as Pokemon!"

"But-but Sabrina…Sabrina and Krysta and everyone else…they said I was from another world!" Ash protested desperately as the full ramifications of this truth became clear to him. "They all said-"

"They were wrong. Or at least, to an extent they were. I do not believe they lied to you, at least, not consciously…to them; your vague memories of a world full of humans must have seemed so alien that they assumed you were from another universe, rather than from their own past. And, from a certain point of view, they were right to think that…after all, the world as it was a millennium ago is vastly different from the world as it is now," Oblivion's Shadow explained.

"But…but if all that happened a thousand years ago, then…then doesn't that mean…" Ash whispered, strength faltering as he tried to process this horrifying information.

"That you died? I am sorry to say…that yes, you did," Oblivion's Shadow acknowledged apologetically. This unwelcome knowledge was such a shock to Ash that he lost his footing, allowing the Shadow to smash the Lucario's Aura blade to pieces and slice into his chest, leaving a gaping cut down Ash's front and causing blood to spray all over the rooftop and mar the Shadow's pitch-black armor. Ash cried in pain and staggered back, clutching his chest and trying to staunch the bleeding by feeding Aura into the wound to cauterize it as quickly as possible. Oblivion's Shadow stopped this by grabbing Ash telekinetically and raising him into the air, freezing the Lucario in place and keeping him from moving. Ash struggled with all his might, trying to break free from the Shadow's hold by blasting out with an Aura surge as he had so many times before, but found himself completely helpless. He couldn't move even the smallest muscle, not even to blink or twitch a finger. That didn't stop the blood from oozing from the wound in his chest, however. "Do not think this means that you, too, are a reincarnation like your friends who just happens to have more of a recollection of what came before than they did. Did you think it a coincidence that you, who had the power of Aura as a human, would be reborn as a Lucario, who are widely renowned as being masters in controlling Aura? Did you think it a coincidence that you would be discovered just outside Pokemon Square, a town full of powerful fighters, many of whom were reincarnations of friends you knew in a lifetime that ended ages ago?"

Oblivion's Shadow hurled Ash away, slamming him into the side of a floating building hard enough to dent it, but not hard enough to smash through, which would have been pretty easy given how flimsy the materials used to build it were. "I-" Ash wheezed, gasping for breath as Oblivion's Shadow's psychic hold pressed harder on him and crushed his ribs.

"It was no coincidence, Ash," Oblivion's Shadow said, pulling him out of the wall and unceremoniously flinging him back onto the rooftop. "It was not in accordance with any prophecy or greater destiny, no matter what others might have told you. You were not returned to this world on the whim of a god, but because I wanted you here. You are as you are now because I gave you that body. You were found where you were because I put you there. Your current existence, your life, everything you are…it's all there because I _desired _it to be. Everything that you are, you owe to me."

"You…you're lying," Ash stammered, trying to get back to his feet.

Oblivion's Shadow kicked him back to the ground. "I would never lie to you, Ash. It would be demeaning, especially after everything we've been through together."

"Everything we've…what?! What the hell are you talking about?! I don't…I don't understand any of this!" Ash screamed in confusion and despair. "You created me?! You're…you're what, my _father?!"_

"Close, but no, that honor goes to another…" Oblivion's Shadow said. "I did not create you, Ash, I simply…changed you. Made you what you are now."

"_Why?!_" Ash demanded, trying to get up again. "Why did you do all this?! Why me?! Why does everything you do keep coming back to me?! You destroyed my entire world, but spared my friends and me, for all the good that did! You gave me a new body and new life? You put me near Pokemon Square so I'd become part of the town?! You came here to…to what, check up on me? Fight me? Capture me?! What…what the hell is the point of all this? _What do you want from me?!_"

"That depends on how much of your memory you've recovered, Ash," Oblivion's Shadow said with a hint of sadness. "You seem to recall your friends dying despite my sparing them. Do you remember what you did to those responsible, deserving or not?"

"I…" Ash's voice caught in his throat, as he remembered the incredibly grisly way in which he had murdered Articuno, Zapdos, Moltres, Darkrai, and Cresselia. "Yes…"

"Do you remember what happened…after that?" the Shadow asked.

"No," Ash said. "I just know that…that Misty died. And that _I_ died. And…what happened?! You were there. You had to have been. Did you do it? Did you kill her?!"

"…That…depends on your point of view," the Shadow said slowly.

"…What does that _even mean?!_" Ash screamed as he shot to his feet, Aura erupting.

Oblivion's Shadow telekinetically slammed him back to the ground. "You saw what happened to you. You saw the thing you became. Do you know how close you are to changing into that again? Your powers are out of control. It's understandable given the circumstances, but the more you rage and explode and blindly try to kill me, without putting any thought into your actions other than pure instinct and fury, or even bothering to wonder _why_ you feel that way and trying to deal with your emotions, the closer your heart comes to closing again and the closer you come to becoming that monster again. And if that were to happen…that would ruin everything I have worked for, as well as the life you have tried to live. I erased your memories and sent you to Pokemon Square in hopes that you would forget your rage and be able to gain control of your powers and live something resembling a normal life by connecting with other Pokemon outside of the setting you and I lived in. I had hoped that by having friends again, you would be able to balance your heart and quell your fury. It seems, sadly, that I was wrong."

Ash blinked, his anger waning briefly in puzzlement. "Huh? What do you mean?"

"The second you saw me, you rushed over here, forgetting you were in the middle of a fight and leaving your friends to take down Pokemon XDra by themselves," Oblivion's Shadow said. "You know now why you want to kill me—or part of why, anyway--but you didn't then. You didn't even question why you felt the way you did. You blindly attacked me, disregarding your friends in the process. You never thought that this could be a trap to get you by yourself so that I could capture and/or kill you to make it easier to pick off the rest of your team and take the magical map you possess. You never thought to inquire as to the whereabouts of your _other_ friends Gardevoir and Misty, whom you embarked on this journey to save in the first place. You never even spared them a second thought or considered what might be happening to them until I brought them up just now, did you? All you cared about was yourself and your drive to kill me, without wondering why you felt that way or what the consequences of your actions might be."

"I…no! That's not…that's not true…" Ash whispered, realizing to his horror that it was. Oh Arceus, he had ditched them, without even the slightest explanation. He had even shut out Tiny through their bond, and it was only now that he was aware of it that he could feel the Larvitar's worry and anger and feelings of betrayal. What had he done?

"What have you done, Ash?" Oblivion's Shadow asked rhetorically. He pointed towards the docks. "Look for yourself. Look what you left your friends to deal with in your selfishness and unthinking anger."

Ash looked. His face paled. He saw a huge circular wall of dark purple ice enclosed around Pikachu and the ninja, who were battling to the death as black snow fell around them. He could see Tiny, Leo, Lily, and Captain Briney fighting for their lives as an army of Pokemon swarmed over them, while the cruel figure of Hunter J on Salamence-back looked on from above, occasionally firing Hyper Beams and Dragon Pulses into the crowd to try and strike his friends, not caring how many of her own henchmon she hit in the process. His Aura died down significantly. "No…my team…they…"

"They are in dire jeopardy, because their leader let them down. Because he cared more for a vendetta he did not even understand than for their own wellbeing," Oblivion's Shadow said coldly. "And now that you realize your mistake, now that you understand how much they need you, what are you going to do? Help them, or continue to fight me to resolve a grudge you only barely comprehend?"

"I…" Ash staggered back to his feet. "I…I know what I have to do."

Oblivion's Shadow nodded. "Good. I'm glad you've seen reason. Perhaps this was not a complete failure after-"

Ash whirled around and punched Oblivion's Shadow in the face hard enough to crack his mirror mask, knocking him back. Ash's Aura flared up again chaotically, darkening to a purple shade as his eyes started turning white. "I HAVE TO KILL YOU!"

…

Although they tried to stick together at first, the sheer numbers of henchmon at Pokemon Hunter J's command forced the members of Team Aurabolt apart, leaving them isolated from each other and unable to help their comrades. For Captain Briney, who'd fought larger numbers in worse situations, that wasn't even close to a problem. "Ha!" the mighty Metang laughed as he smashed a Sandslash's face in with Bullet Punch and sent him flying into the Houndoom racing up behind him, the Sandslash's razor-sharp quills piercing the yelping demon dogs' flesh and pinning them to the ground. "You thought that taking me on with type advantages and using Dark-type nullifiers to keep my Psychic abilities from affecting you would save you from me? You thought wrong, lads!" He opened his mouth and fired a Hyper Beam, spinning around to blast away all the Pokemon in the vicinity.

More rushed over the corpses and prone forms of their colleagues to take their place, however. A Camerupt took a deep breath, the volcanoes on its back erupting, and spewed a powerful Overheat at Briney. At the same time, a Hippowdon stepped forward on the Metang's other side and bellowed, sand pouring out from the holes on its back and swirling through the air to engulf Briney in a Sand Tomb that pinned him in place and kept him from getting out of the way of the Overheat, which washed over him and engulfed him in flames. More flames joined the conflagration as other henchmon added their Flamethrowers, Eruptions, Fire Spins, Fire Blasts, Heat Waves, Magma Plumes, and other intensely hot attacks to consume the sand-stuck Metang in a raging inferno. When the heat became too much even for them to handle, they cut off the flames, the Hippowdown using a Sandstorm to put the fires out, revealing that the intense attacks had managed to fuse the sand from the Sand Tomb into a solid mass of malformed glass, the dark form of Captain Briney dimly visible inside. They waited for the glass to cool, thinking it would be easy to transport and/or finish the Metang off in this state.

They were wrong. Briney's eye flashed from within the glass, and suddenly his crystalline prison shattered. The henchmon cried in alarm and stumbled back as the fragments of superhot glass swirled around the very much intact Captain, who had used a combination of Light Screen, Protect, and Metal Defense to shield himself, and even so was glowing white-hot and looking a little melted around the edges from the heat of the flames that had consumed him. "Not a bad show, lads," Briney said jovially, eye glowing as he used Psychic to telekinetically handle the glass shards. "But not good enough!" He thrust his arms out, and the glass fragments flew out in an expanding circle, penetrating the flesh of the henchmon before they could get out of the way or protect themselves. Screams rang out and were quickly cut off as glass shards severed throats, punctured eyes, and studded their skins in a dozen places. Blood gushing from their wounds, the Pokemon soldiers staggered to the ground. Briney smirked…

And then the Hippowdon staggered back to its feet, its thick skin having shielded it to some extent from the glass. Roaring in fury, the desert-dwelling hippo charged forwards with Giga Impact, the pavement shaking with each heavy footfall the behemoth stomped into the ground. Briney grunted and clenched his fist, which started glowing. With a roar, he spun around and smashed it into the Hippowdon's snout with Meteor Mash, the force behind the blow so great that it actually lifted the Heavyweight Pokemon a few inches off the ground and sent it crashing down on its rear several feet away. The Hippowdon glared at Briney in a daze, red eyes spinning…and then it groaned and fell over backwards, crushing some unlucky Charmeleon and Marowak beneath its weight. Briney smirked and cracked his knuckles as the horrified henchmon stared at him. "Who's next?"

An energy beam shot through the air towards Briney. Sensing it, he quickly raised a Light Screen, his spikes and nose glowing with many colors as a glowing yellow box formed around him and deflected the beam, causing it to strike a Crobat instead. The four-winged bat cried in alarm and stiffened, falling to the ground as he was turned into a bronze-hued statue. Briney growled and turned around as a Salamence lowered into view, its wingbeats blowing dust away and forcing the henchmon to scatter, both from the gusts of wind and out of fear of the ruthless Drapion riding the dragon's back. "Mind if I take you up on that offer?"

Briney narrowed his eye. "Hunter J…I was wondering when you'd show yourself. I'm surprised the Nihilators didn't send you after me sooner."

"The price on your head compared to the level of risk involved in engaging you wasn't high enough for me to take an interest before now," J sneered. "Your reputation and power level precedes you, old mon."

"I'm not that old, lass…and as a being of living metal, I imagine I have a few centuries left in this body, no matter what greedy punks like you have to say about it," Briney said.

J grinned. "Is that so? Well, we'll just have to see about that, then, won't we? Mander, hit him with Dragon Pulse!"

The Salamence roared and opened its mouth, gathering power…and spat a Flamethrower at Briney. Startled, the Metang raised a Light Screen, the flames washing off the shield and causing it to glow with heat. "Wha—you used an attack completely different to what you just called out?! That's…actually very clever, I applaud you on your ingenuity."

"Too bad your praise means absolutely nothing to me," J said, gesturing to her Salamence, who hissed and fired a Dragon Pulse at Briney as his Light Screen faded away, for real this time. The Metang caught it in his hands, and grunted in surprise as it pushed him several feet back. The Salamence was rather powerful…which was only to be expected, since he was Hunter J's steed and primary enforcer.

Channeling Psychic power into his arms, he roared and thrust the Pulse away, sending the energy ball flying back at J. Mander the Salamence spun about, lashing out with his tail and sending the Dragon Pulse flying away, nearly taking out a number of J's own Golbat henchmon in the process. "You don't seem particularly bothered that you're taking out your own mons," Briney noted.

"Why should I be? Everyone is expendable, and I can get a dozen more almost identical mercenaries for the same price to replace every group that gets killed here tonight," J said. "From one who's killed as many as you have, I'm surprised you seem concerned for the welfare of my troops."

"Oh, I'm not," Briney assured her, eye glowing. "I was just talking to distract you from the house I'm telekinetically hurling at you from behind."

J and Mander's heads both whipped around in alarm…only to see there was nothing flying towards them. "What-" Briney surged forward, pummeling Mander at the base of the neck with a barrage of Bullet Punches. The Salamence roared in pain and reared back, nearly throwing J off his back in the process. "Gah!"

"You're not the only one who can use deception, lass," Briney said, drawing back his fist again and charging up a Meteor Mash.

That's when a number of Golbt and Crobat flapped into view and began bombarding the sea captain with Supersonic to disorient him, causing him to swing and miss the Salamence by a fraction of an inch. Growling in annoyance as the dragon retreated, he blasted the bats away with Psychic and made to pursue J when he suddenly found himself descending towards the ground against his will. "What in the-" His eye narrowed when he saw there were a number of other Metang floating on ground level, joining their powers together to pull him from the sky using Gravity. "Snot-nosed pieces of scrap! They think they can deal with the likes of me?!" He used Magnet Rise on himself to try and levitate out of the rival Iron Claw Pokemon's grasp. That forced them to exert more power to try to pull him back down, leading him to put out more energy to float up…

And then Mander reappeared and blasted him with Flamethrower, causing him to lose concentration and slam into the ground with a loud clang. Before he could regain his composure, J's henchmon were on him, Ariados ensnaring him with their Spider Webs, the other Metang combining their powers to keep using Gravity so Briney couldn't float off the ground, Marowaks throwing Bonemerangs and Marshtomp spitting Mud Shots to weaken him while more Fire Pokemon came over and started training their fiery breath on the sailor. Briney howled in pain, causing J to sneer as Mander flew back into range, preparing to join the fray…

When suddenly they noticed a Skarmory flying erratically towards them, going too fast to pull up and looking as if it intended to crash into them. "What the…what does that idiot think he's doing?" J snarled in annoyance. "He's coming right for us! He's not going to be able to stop!"

"Wait a second…" Mander muttered. "What's that on his back? Is that…a Larvitar?!"

It was indeed. Tiny had managed to commandeer a Skarmory and force it to fly him towards Hunter J by grabbing it out of the air by a talon, bashing it against the ground until its metal feathers were severely dented, and climbing on its back, pointing at J and Mander, and putting his mouth around the metal vulture's neck. The Skarmory wasn't sure if Tiny's teeth could penetrate his steel hide, but he didn't particularly want to find out. "Mistress J, help!" the Skarmory screamed desperately as, prodded by the demonic child on his back, he flew closer and closer towards the Drapion and Salamence. "I can't stop! He won't let me! Do something!"

"All right," J said, raising her arm cannon.

The Skarmory's eyes widened in horror. "No, wait, that's not what I-" he was cut off when the beam from J's blaster struck him, petrifying him in a flash of light. He continued gliding forward for a few seconds, and then gravity seemed to realize what was going on and started pulling him down towards the ground. Prying his teeth from the hardened(er) Skarmory's neck, Tiny frowned and took a running jump, leaping from the vulture's back and arcing through the air towards J.

Mander laughed. "What, does he think he can fly or something?"

"He won't be for much longer." J aimed her cannon again. Tiny pulled out his pacifier and Screeched, causing Mander to yelp in surprise and jerk about as the raw noise from the Larvitar's ridiculously powerful lungs pierced his skull. "Gah! He's so loud!"

"Watch it, you fool!" J snapped as she gripped one claw around her ride's neck to keep from slipping off. "I could have fallen!" She raised her cannon up again, sighting along the top for Tiny and using her visor to target him…

When Tiny generated and hurled Hidden Power orbs, the spheres smashed into Mander's front, sides, and wings, and knocking him back, jerking J's arm and causing her shot to go wild. "Dammit, hold still!"

"Hey, I'd like to see you try to fly with an enormous bug on your back-" Mander snapped, only to be cut off when Tiny drove a fist, his little nub of an arm burning with the power of Aura, into his face.

Mander roared in pain and reared back, causing J to slide down his back and off of the Salamence, barely managing to arrest her fall by grabbing onto his tail at the last second. "You idiot! What did I just tell you-" Her eyes widened when she saw Tiny land on Mander's back and start running towards her, Aura blazing around him and a determined look in his eye. She cursed and spat Pin Missiles at the Larvitar, knowing Mander's skin was tough enough to withstand a few dozen needles. The missiles flew through the air and buried themselves in Tiny's chest…

Causing the Larvitar to grunt in pain and rip them out with his bare hands before continuing towards J, refusing to let a few needles get in his way. As J's jaw dropped in astonishment at the infant's resilience, Tiny slid down Mander's tail and dropped over the side, falling towards her face. She swung her free claw up to grab him, but he dodged around it and drove an Aura-powered fist into her face, smashing her visor and causing her to lose her grip on the Salamence's tail. With a cry of alarm, she started falling, and Tiny fell along with her, punching and biting viciously at her as they plummeted together. "Mander! Grab me!" she shouted as she tried to defend herself from Tiny's attacks. Who would have thought a kid like him could cause so much trouble?

"Hang on, I'm coming!" the Salamence bellowed as he dove towards her.

Tiny frowned as he heard this. He didn't want any interference. He climbed off of J's chest and onto her arm, reaching for her arm cannon. "Hey! Don't touch that!" she snarled, grabbing him with her other arm and tightly wrapping her pincer around him. He grimaced in pain as it dug into his sides and Screeched, Aura blossoming out around him and burning at J's flesh, causing her to hiss in pain and release him, allowing him to grab the cannon and point it up towards Mander.

The Salamence's eyes widened in horror, and he frantically flapped his wings to try and reverse his descent. "Oh shi-" He wasn't fast enough. Tiny fired the cannon, turning Mander to stone.

J roared in fury. "You stupid child! Do you realize what you've-"

She was cut off when she hit the ground. The impact was strong enough to crack it, and it broke the legs on her left side and twisted her flexible arms, tail, and torso rather painfully. Tiny, who had been riding on top of her, was somewhat cushioned from the blow by the Drapion's bulk, though he was still a little shaken by the fall. As J groaned underneath him, he glanced up as a large shadow passed over them, sucked his pacifier in alarm, and scurried out of the way. "Ugh…where…where do you think you're going-" J started, stirring and trying to pull herself back to her feet, wincing in pain as she put too much weight on her broken limbs and the rest of her body screamed at her.

And then the statue of Mander landed on her, crushing her back to the ground. Her scream echoed across the battlefield. Tiny nodded and sucked his pacifier, taking pleasure in her suffering.

He didn't take pleasure when J, broken and battered with blood pouring from wounds all over her body, raised her left arm and fired her cannon at him, turning him to stone. J grunted and started trying to Dig her way out from underneath the petrified Salamence, biting her tongue to ignore the pain surging through most of her body. "Even for someone who can use Aura…I doubt you'll be worth enough to make all this worthwhile…"

Lily, meanwhile, was doing a pretty good job of defending herself. Maybe a little too well. _B?_ she thought to her imaginary friend as she set a Stunky on fire, igniting the gas cloud the skunk had tried to use against her and causing it to incinerate itself.

_Yes, Lily?_ B replied.

_I'm one of the good guys now, right?_ Lily asked as she hurled Shadow Balls at some Murkrow circling overhead that were trying to disorient her with Confuse Ray. It didn't work, and soon enough, neither did the Dark birds' wings.

_Considering that you left your mother and are now a member of a Rescue Team trying to save the world, I would assume so, yes,_ B said.

_Okay_, said Lily as she hurled a fireball into a Whirlwind a Shiftry sent whirling at her, turning it into a fiery vortex which she then spun back at the Wicked Pokemon with a flick of her hair, engulfing him in flames. _Then…why am I killing these Pokemon?_

_Er…because they're trying to capture you and bring you back to Bellum?_ B said.

_Well, yes, but I thought that good guys didn't kill people if they could help it. Mother always said that's what makes them weak,_ Lily said as she set some Mightyena on fire.

_It's self-defense, and they're the bad guys. That makes it okay, doesn't it?_ B asked.

_I don't think it's as simple as that…_ Lily thought dubiously. A Tyranitar stomped forward and opened its mouth, charging up a Dark Pulse. Lily hurled a Shadow Ball into its jaws then held its mouth shut with her hair. The resulting explosion destroyed the Tyranitar's entire upper body and sent chunks of blood, gore, bone, and armor plating flying everywhere. Some of it hit Lily, but it didn't hurt that much, so she ignored it. _I mean, just because you're a good person doesn't automatically mean that everything _you_ do is good, does it?_

_Hmm…that's a good question. Maybe Leo knows? _B suggested. _He knows lots of things._

_He certainly does,_ Lily agreed as she threw a fire wheel at a Cacturne, burning it until nothing but ashes remained. _He seems very knowledgeable. I wonder why Ash and Pikachu and Sasha always seem so uneasy that I spend lots of time with him._

_Maybe you should ask him that, too,_ B agreed.

A Crawdaunt lunged at Lily and tried to use Crunch. She blasted it away with Shadow Ball, then thrust two of her hairs through its eyes, bypassing its armor and killing it instantly. _Maybe I will._

_In the meantime, if killing people bothers you so much, maybe you could…I dunno..stop doing it?_ B suggested.

Lily frowned in puzzlement, causing the Sucker Punch a Mightyena had been trying to use on her to fail since she wasn't preparing an attack. She absent-mindedly set it on fire. _I don't follow._

_You know…like, defeat your enemies without killing them?_ B said.

Lily blinked in bewilderment. The concept hadn't occurred to her. _Defeat _without_ killing them? I'm…not sure I know how to do that. Mother only taught me how to kill things, not…that other thing._ A Sneasel leaped at her face and tried to cut her up with Night Slash. She floated back out of the way and blasted it away with Shadow Ball, then flung another one at the other Sneasel sneaking up on her from behind with the intention of using a Shadow Claw.

_Hmm. I guess that's something else you'll have to ask the others to teach you,_ B said.

_I guess so,_ Lily agreed as she roasted some Honchkrow diving towards her with Faint Attack. _Speaking of things to ask Leo, why did everyone act so weird when I asked him to teach me about love?_

_I don't know that, either,_ B admitted. _Mortals are so strange, aren't they?_

_Yes,_ Lily agreed. _But there's something endearing about them all the same…hmm?_ "What's this, then?" Lily asked as some more Dark-type Pokemon approached her. They were wearing some kind of black bodysuits that covered most of their forms, and had large red goggles covering their eyes and thick metal headsets covering their ears.

"We're here to take you in," one of the Pokemon, an Umbreon, said nastily.

Lily frowned. "Isn't that what the others were for?"

"No, those were to wear you down and make it easier for us to catch you," a Stunky said.

Lily frowned. "I don't suppose they were aware you were throwing their lives away?"

"This from the Ghost who killed them so brutally? Burning to death doesn't look like a pleasant way to die," a Drapion sneered.

Lily fidgeted, the comment striking a little too close to home. "If you want to take me in, then I'm afraid you will have to die as well," she said, forming fireballs all around her. "I may not like killing people, but I will do whatever it takes to keep from being returned to my mother." She threw the fireballs at the Pokemon surrounding her…which did absolutely nothing. Much to her surprise, while the fireballs hit them all right, they didn't seem to have any effect, the flames engulfing their bodies without causing any visible pain. They shook themselves vigorously, knocking the flames off and putting them out. "Wh-what magic is this?!"

"None, it's called flame-retardant clothing," a Nuzleaf said mockingly.

"Then it's a good thing fire spells aren't all that I know," Lily said, gathering power.

"And it's a good thing that flame-retardant clothing isn't all we brought against you," a Honchkrow said. All of the Dark Pokemon took out slips of paper.

Lily gasped as she recognized the sigils on the papers…as well as the handwriting of whoever had inscribed them. "Those are binding spells…my _Mother's_ binding spells! How did you-"

"She _really_ wants you back, little witch," a Sneasel said. "So much so that she even gave us a spell or two to help us return you to her."

The papers started glowing white. Lily tried to phase away, but found to her alarm that she remained solid, due to the effects of multiple Foresights, Odor Sleuths, and the goggles her assailants were wearing having infrared vision. In a burst of frost, chains of ice shot out of the spell tags and wrapped around her, binding her in countless links of freezing-cold fetters. She cried in pain and alarm and tried to melt the chains, or blast them away with magic, but Bellum had anticipated she might do that and strengthened the binding spells against that contingency. Trying to strike at her captors instead, Lily opened her mouth and started wailing her Perish Song…

Which did nothing but cause herself anguish, as the headsets the Dark-types were wearing protected their ears from the deadly music. "You'll have to try harder than that, little witch," a Sneasel cackled.

"Yeah, we listen to heavy metal all the time. Your Perish Song isn't nearly as eardrum-shattering as that is!" a Skuntank taunted.

Left with not other recourse, Lily tried to cast a Curse…only for that to fail too, as icy runes of protection formed on the foreheads of the mercenaries. Was there nothing her mother hadn't thought of?! Well, no, she supposed not. Bellum knew Lily's abilities fairly well. Was it really surprising that she would have taken so many precautions to reclaim her runaway daughter?

"All right, I think that's enough playing around…let's lock her up," a Crawdaunt said.

A Houndour nudged a small rectangular box with a hatch on top of it under Lily, and then retreated to a safe distance, holding a paw over a switch attached to the box by a long cable. "You aren't the first Ghost Mistress J has been hired to capture, so we already have the proper cage all ready for you," the Umbreon bragged. "This Muon Containment Unit will keep you safe and secure until we can bring you back to your mother."

"Hope you aren't claustrophobic, because it's kind of tight in there," a Murkrow joked.

"And there might still be some pieces of the last guy in there, so there might be a bit of an odor," the Umbreon said. They laughed evilly.

The Houndour stepped on the switch, causing the top of the ghost trap to open up and a white light to shine out as a powerful vortex formed and began dragging Lily downwards. She struggled desperately against her bonds, eyes wide with terror. She couldn't go back to her mother. Not after experiencing this brief taste of freedom, not after having friends and the promise of adventure and a bright future! She would rather die than go back…again, that was.

But it didn't look like she had any choice in the matter. Despite her intense struggling, slowly but surely she was pulled closer and closer to the box. It seemed like there was no escape for her now. Her time as a member of Team Aurabolt had come to an end…

Leo also didn't appear to be in the best of circumstances. He was surrounded by about a dozen or so mixed Electric and Grass-type Pokemon. In spite of the odds, however, he was highly confident that he could succeed…and not because of conservation of ninjutsu or anything like that, either! No, the Squirtle had a plan… "I'm surprised they sent so few of you to kill me," Leo commented. "I would have thought they could spare more mons on a target like myself."

"We could have, but our information indicated you're the weakest link in Team Aurabolt's chain," a Grovyle said.

"So we concluded we didn't need to waste our strongest against you, freeing up more fighters to take on Captain Briney and your higher-priority friends," a Manectric said.

"We don't expect a chubby runt like you to put up much of a fight," a Tangrowth said.

Leo shook his head pityingly. "You poor genre-blind fools. I would have thought hardened hired killers like yourself would know better than to underestimate the short, somewhat overweight and obviously physically inferior Pokemon. Those are the ones who've always got some hidden aces up their shells."

"And what sort of aces would those be?" an Electivire asked skeptically.

Leo smirked and pulled one arm into his shell, coming out with a large pump-action spray gun. "How about a gas sprayer full of weed killer? Eat herbicide, you bunch of undersized Ents!" He vigorously pumped the gun, spraying green mist all around him. The chemical fog settled over his foes, causing them to start coughing. "Ugh…that leaves a bad taste in my mouth," a Raichu gasped.

"Other than giving us a coughing fit, exactly what was that supposed to accomplish?" a Luxray asked.

"Uhh…I don't…feel so good…" a Vileplume complained. Her eyes rolled back in her head and she passed out, the giant petals on her head wilting.

"Ugh…I think…I'm gonna take a nap," the Tangrowth groaned, slumping to the ground and closing its eyes.

"No way…I'm too…cool to go out like this…" the Grovyle complained as he did indeed go out like that.

An Ampharos sweatdropped as the remaining Grass-types, a Torterra, a Breloom, and an Exeggutor also fainted. "You've gotta be kidding me…"

"What was that about me not putting up much of a fight?" Leo smirked as the plant-killing gas faded away.

"That stuff won't work on us…there's no chemical weapon you can use against Electric-types!" the Luxray snarled, static building up around him.

"You may have taken out our colleagues, but we won't be beaten as easily!" the Ampharos agreed, charging up.

The Electivire roared and flexed his muscles. "You're going down, runt!"

The six remaining Electric Pokemon fired their strongest attacks at Leo, blasting him with Zap Cannons and Thunder attacks. Leo retreated into his shell just before the high-voltage attacks could strike him, and he vanished in a blinding flash of yellow light and crackling electricity. When the light died down, his shell lay inert in the middle of the circle of mercenaries, smoking slightly and surrounded by charred ground. "Heh. Where's your tough talk and clever tricks now?" the Raichu bragged.

"Right here!" Leo shouted as he popped out of his shell completely unharmed, much to the shock of his attackers.

"What the…how did he survive that?!" the Manectric cried in disbelief.

"Wait…look at what he's wearing! He's got rubber on!" a Magnezone realized.

Leo laughed, which sounded rather muffled since his head was covered by a big rubber mask in the shape of a screeching black Primeape. Matching hairy rubber gloves and boots covered his hands and feet, and a rubber Feraligatr tail covered his rear extremity. "I warned you not to underestimate me! I prepare for every eventuality, even something like this! You should have considered that, since one of my traveling companions is a Pikachu with a tendency to zap me whenever I do something really stupid, I might invest in a little protection from electroshock! So I pulled out my old movie monster rubber outfit to ground me and keep me from getting fried by lightning! Not bad, huh?"

"That's…actually pretty clever," the Electivire admitted grudgingly.

"Except that it's only saved you from our thunder. We can still tear you apart with other attacks," the Ampharos said as she powered up for a Signal Beam.

"Au contraire! Rubber isn't the only trick I've got up my shell! What do you think of this?" Leo pulled his head back into his shell for a moment, and when it came back out he was still wearing the Primeape head, but now with a feather headdress and a front covered in facepaint. Leo crossed his arms and started dancing stiffly while chanting, "Hee-uh hom-ma hi-ya ho! Hee-uh hom-ma hi-ya ho! Hee-uh hom-ma hi-ya ho!"

The Electric Pokemon stared blankly. "What the heck is he doing?" the Manectric asked.

A drop of water fell on the Raichu, then another, and another. He looked up to see a dark cloud had formed over their heads, and was now pouring rain down on them. "I think it's a Rain Dance."

"I've never seen a Rain Dance like that before," Magnezone commented.

"Yeah, but I felt like a dramatic flourish would help pull it off," Leo said as he finished dancing. "And now that the rain's here, it's time to finish you off!"

"And how exactly is some rain going to do that?" the Luxray asked skeptically.

"Because thanks to the effects of Rain Dance, all Water-type attacks get a power boost of fifty percent!" Leo said. "It also causes most Electric types to have one hundred percent accuracy, but that's not going to do you guys much good thanks to my rubbers. Plus, I figured the fight would be cooler if we duked it out in the rain." They sweatdropped.

"Uh, this could be a problem…" the Electrike muttered.

"Oh come on, he may be good at thinking on his feet, but I don't think a boost like that will help his attacks _that_ much against us!" the Electivire complained.

"Oh yeah?!" Leo twirled around on one foot, spraying them with Bubblebeam. They grunted as the bubbles popped into them and forced them back, but overall didn't seem particularly damaged.

"Yeah!" the Electivire retorted.

"What was the point of that?" the Ampharos wondered.

"To make you wet and cold enough so that I could do _this!_" Leo said, spinning around again and blasting them—and the ground—with Ice Beam, freezing the Electric Pokemon (and the unconscious Grass-types, so that the rain wouldn't revitalize any of them) as well as covering the ground in a sheet of ice. "And I know that won't hold you for long…but it'll give me enough time to pull off my finishing move!" Leo retracted back into his shell and started spinning in place, using the reduced friction of the ice to build up quite a lot of momentum.

The ice cracked, and suddenly exploded as the six Electric Pokemon blasted their way out with massive Thunderbolts. "Okay, that does it!" the Electivire snarled, clenching his fists. "That Squirtle is so-" He was interrupted when Leo, using the power he'd built up and the slick surface of the ice to move faster than usual, slid across the ground and into the Electivire's jaw with Rapid Spin, slamming him to the ground and knocking him out. Leo rebounded off the Electivire and whirled through the air, smacking into the Raichu right between the eyes and knocking him down too. The Ampharos deflected him with Iron Tail, but he managed to use the blow to change his trajectory in mid-air and bounce between the Luxray and Manectric repeatedly until both of their legs collapsed and they fell to the ground. Trying not to slip on the ice, the Ampharos opened her mouth and spat a Signal Beam at Leo. Leo popped out of his shell and skidded backwards across the ice, using his long tail as a brake as he pulled out a hand mirror and positioned it in front of him. Much like he had deflected Lily's Psybeam in their first encounter and defeated Mewgle in an (imaginary) battle of mirrors, the Signal Beam struck the mirror and bounced off, reflecting back into the startled Light Pokemon's face full-on and knocking her out. The Magnezone, realizing it was the last of J's minions standing (or hovering), used Lock-On to target Leo and then fired Magnet Bombs.

The Magnet Area Pokemon hadn't counted on Leo _also_ having magnets. Leo pulled two out and used one to attract and redirect the Magnet Bomb, flinging the magnet away and causing the projectile to swerve around and hit it instead of him, then hurled the other one at the Magnezone. It stuck to the Magnezone's metal skin and did absolutely nothing. "Was that supposed to do something?" the Magnezone asked.

Leo shrugged. "I was hoping it would scramble your circuits or disrupt your magnetic field. Guess not."

"No, definitely not." The Magnezone briefly considered using Mirror Shot, recalled that Leo still had a mirror, considered using an electric move, recalled that Leo was still wearing rubber, considered using another Magnet Bomb, realized that Leo might have _another_ magnet on him, and finally gave up and decided to use Iron Head, confident that its hull was stronger than Leo's head, even if it was cushioned by rubber. It engulfed itself in a white aura, making it seem black and white, and charged towards Leo.

"Ah, so you want to see which of us has the hardest head, huh? Well, I'd love to…deny you, since I don't want to risk breaking my cranium or bruising my precious brains!" Leo dove to the side before the Magnezone could crash into him, landing on his belly and sliding away on the ice. The Magnezone hit the ice and started skidding out of control due to the speed of its attack, crashing into the unconscious Electivire. Dazed, the Magnezone struggled to levitate back off the ground…

And Leo's foot slammed into it with a sliding kick, sending it flying off into the distance. It let out a metallic wail as it tumbled through the air, eventually crashing into the side of J's ship and knocking itself out. "Yeah, and that's why you don't mess with Leo DeKappa!" Leo shouted after the magnetic Pokemon. "Yattaaaaa!" Then he paused and started hopping up and down in pain, clutching the foot he had kicked with. "Ow, ow, ow! Even through this rubber boot, that hurt!" Once the aching died down, he glanced around himself, satisfied by the prone and frozen bodies lying about. "Well, I guess that's those guys taken care of. Time to go help the others-" He slapped his arm as something pricked him. "Ow! What the…ohhhh…" He fell to the ground, unconscious.

The Skorupi that had fired the Poison Sting needle snickered as it scrambled across the ice towards Leo, the falling rain drumming on its carapace. "Guess he wasn't prepared for _that_. I bet Mistress J will promote me for sure once she sees how I subdued this pest when the others couldn't!" He stopped over Leo's body, and drew his tail back. "Of course, I'll need proof that I did it by myself…maybe his severed head will do the trick!" He bent his tail down, opening the pincers on the end to grip Leo's neck…

…

It was very cold inside the ice walls. Freezing winds strong enough to chill bone and cut through flesh were constantly blowing all over the place. The black snow crunching underfoot and falling from above seemed to greedily drink up all the body heat it made contact with. The blood that spilled across the icy floor quickly hardened and froze solid only moments after it was ejected from Pikachu's body. The samurai's body was shaking, and he could see his breath before his eyes. In other words, it was really damn cold.

And the ninja trying to kill him wasn't helping matters. Pikachu found himself wondering why she had bothered isolating them in this arena and creating this bizarre dark ice, it wasn't like she blended in with the environment due to her Shadow Aura burning even blacker than their surroundings and making it easy to spot her in the frozen darkness. He raised his sword to deflect a flurry of ice kunai thrown from above, and quickly rolled out of the way as the Buneary shot down towards him, driving her claws into the ground and causing Shadow Aura and purple ice spikes to erupt all around her. Pikachu shattered the spikes in front of him with a swing of his sword, the holy blade easily slicing through the corrupted material, and he shot a Thunder attack at the exposed ninja. She backflipped out of the way, landing on the narrow tip of one of the spikes and firing an Ice Beam at Pikachu. He blocked it with his blade, gritting his teeth as the cold ran up his arms, causing his paws to go numb. He would have dropped the sword if the electrical charge it was generating hadn't returned feeling to his fingers. He lashed out with a Vacuum-Cut which flew through the air and bisected the spike, grateful that, even though Ash had abandoned him for some reason, at least he still had one ally he could always count on.

The ninja jumped off the spike as it started falling apart, kicking into the side of an adjacent outcropping so hard that it was levered out of the ground and flipped into the air. She formed an ice sword and slashed at it repeatedly, cutting it to pieces in seconds, then punched and kicked at the ice chunks with blinding speed, sending them flying towards Pikachu. The samurai zigzagged back and forth across the snow to avoid the jagged high-speed ice missiles, blasting away any that got too close with Thundershocks and slicing apart those that his bolts missed with his sword, raising his Iron Tail just in time to deflect a potentially lethal blow flung at his back milliseconds after the Buneary appeared from the shadow behind him. He spun around, slicing his blade out before him, but the ninja Bounced into the air before he could strike her, snow displaced by her jump flying into his face and causing him to flinch as the cold burned his eyes and nose. From on high, the ninja fired another Ice Beam. Pikachu sliced his sword vertically through the air, a Vacuum-Cut blade rushing out and splitting the Ice Beam in two, causing its halves to strike the ground on either side of him and form crystalline ice growths. The ninja formed an ice sword and sliced through the Vacuum-Cut, destroying it before it could reach her. As she started descending back towards the ground, she threw half a dozen ice kunai at Pikachu. He rolled out of the way and fired a Thunderbolt at her, but she flung her sword at it, the blade absorbing the blow and exploding in a flurry of ice dust and powder snow which temporarily blinded Pikachu and might have spelled his end if his sharp ears hadn't heard the whistle of the ice kunai flying through the air and deflected it with his sword before it could pierce his heart.

The Buneary, still falling, spat an ice Beam at the ground, creating, much to Pikachu's surprise, what looked like a giant ice shuriken. She landed on it and started twirling in place, causing the shuriken to twist a few inches off the ground and start spinning towards Pikachu, the ninja generating a pair of ice swords and holding them out to either side of her so that she was now a two-leveled bladed whirling dervish. Pikachu raised his sword to guard himself, and nearly had it knocked out of his hands as the Buneary and her giant shuriken crashed into him, slamming him back and sending shocks (not the electric kind, mind you) through his bones as her spinning edges clashed with his blade again and again and again. Knowing he couldn't go on like this, he backflipped, sword and Iron Tail spinning around him like a shield to deflect the Buneary's strikes as he flew through the air and landed a few yards away. The ninja spun towards him again. Pikachu raised his sword, waiting for the absolutely perfect moment…

Then ducked and thrust his sword upwards through one of the gaps between the shuriken's blades, causing the icy edge to catch on his sword and shatter, sending the giant throwing star flying out of control and crashing into the snow some distance away. The ninja had hopped off the shuriken before it had landed and arced towards him, both swords raised to strike at him. He hopped back as she landed and lunged at him, and the duo began swordfighting, the ninja using her speed and twin blades to lash out at Pikachu several times in the space of a second, while Pikachu used his stronger (and blessed) sword to withstand the blows and retaliate with a few of his own, swinging around to bring his Iron Tail into the mix whenever he felt like he was being overwhelmed by the ninja's dual wielding. He had to admit that she was pretty good with a sword, but not quite his equal. After all, while she had probably been trained in the use of over a dozen lethal instruments to use in her assassination trade, Pikachu had been taught almost exclusively how to handle a sword for most of his life, so had just a little bit more experience and mastery than her in how to use a blade. That mastery demonstrated itself when he managed to finally score a lucky hit, cutting into the side of her right paw and causing her to lose her grip on the sword in that hand. She quickly raised her remaining sword to block his next strike, their blades clashing and sending sparks flying all over the place as they pressed against each other, their owners shifting their weight slightly to get better footing and pour more of their strength into overcoming their opponent's block. Her free paw stabbed out, aiming for his heart, but he twisted ever so slightly, bringing his Iron Tail into range to protect himself from the blow without losing balance. Not only that, but he twisted his tail at the last minute so it slipped in between her claws, catching them and preventing the ninja from drawing them back. However, this didn't necessarily knock her off balance either. Thanks to the power in her leg muscles, she was able to transfer the strength from her failed strike into her sword, pressing harder against Pikachu's blade and forcing him to call upon fading reserves of energy to keep from being overwhelmed. His cheeks crackled and his body lit up in a flash of lightning as he channeled electricity into his blade, but the ninja countered him by powering up her own sword, sending Shadow Aura into the ice weapon and causing the black flames around her to burn stronger and wilder, tendrils angrily lashing out against the dancing bolts of lightning flowing from Pikachu's form. Light clashed against darkness, black snow falling all around them as each tried to overcome the other.

As he stared into the face of his foe, features twisted in concentration and numbness from the cold, Pikachu wondered again what the point of all this was. Why were they still fighting? It had seemed like they had managed to break through to her for a moment earlier. And why had she singled him out for combat, rather than continuing to take on the whole team like she had before? Why were they doing this?

And then their eyes locked over their charged-up blades, and Pikachu realized the answer. He did not see hatred and fury like he had before, only…determination. Desperation. And was that a hint of fear? A plea for help? Pikachu supposed he might be making a lot out of nothing, but he knew you could tell a lot about a person from their eyes, and the story the ninja's were telling him was one that chilled his spine. (More than the cold weather already was, anyway.)

She wanted him to kill her. The torture they had done to her, the process they had used to turn her into a Shadow Pokemon, had left her no longer truly in control of her body. She had been transformed into a living weapon (well, she already was one, true, but now she was one for evil), and while removing those dummied lenses had partially snapped her out of it and made her somewhat aware of what she was doing, it wasn't enough, would never be enough until her heart was opened and she was completely cured. She couldn't stop fighting. She couldn't stop killing, or rather, would not be able to once she started. She would be unable to do anything as her power was used to kill innocent people, which went against everything she stood for. So that small piece of her that was still herself and not the monster the Nihilators had turned her into had isolated the two of them so that she could force Pikachu into a situation where he would have no choice but to kill her before she could hurt anyone else. She must have thought he was the best person for the job, since he was more skilled with a blade than she, and samurais and ninjas had long been rivals, so assumed he wouldn't think twice about killing her to save himself.

She didn't realize that he also refused to kill innocents or victims, and that to kill her, no matter what she was now, would be as barbaric an act to him as murdering people who were not Paul or whom she hadn't been hired to kill was to her. (Not to mention that he couldn't, since his sword wouldn't be able to pierce her flesh, but he was certain he'd feel the same way even if he weren't wielding a magic sword.) Pikachu was a member of a Rescue Team. His mission was to save lives and stop the bad guys, and to him the Buneary was someone who needed to be saved rather than someone who needed to be killed, no matter how dangerous she was in her current state. "I'm not going to kill you," he told her through gritted teeth as he continued pressing his sword against hers. "I'm going to save you. I may be a samurai, and you may be a ninja, and our kind may never have seen eye to eye, but you're still someone who needs help, and I never turn down a person who needs me. We're going to change you back, we're going to fix you up, and we're going to make the bastards who did this to you pay. Do you understand?"

She blinked. Seeming surprised, her Aura faltered, and her push weakened…allowing Pikachu to shove forward with all his might, shattering her sword and slashing through the armor on her chest, causing it to disintegrate. The ninja clenched her eyes shut in pain, Aura roiling as she hopped backwards, clutching her chest…even though, as far as Pikachu could tell, he hadn't even broken her flesh. Perhaps Thunder Fang's innate holiness making contact with her decidedly unholy and corrupted Aura was enough to harm her? If that was the case, then maybe there was a way for him to win this after all. "Don't worry," he said as the ninja regenerated her armor and the flames of her Aura surged up again. "I'll save you. I promise I'll do whatever it takes to free you."

She glared at him. Pikachu liked to think that he saw a hint of gratitude in her eyes, though even later he would never be truly certain. Forming new ice kunais she rushed at him, and he raised his sword to meet her, his weary and frostbitten form gaining new strength from his vow and determination to help a friend in need.

…

Shadow Aura leaked from the crack in Oblivion's Shadow's mask. He staggered back, an astonished look on his (reflected) face. "What…what do you think you're doing?!"

"KILLING YOU!" Ash shouted as he formed a pair of Bone Rush blades and started slashing wildly at Oblivion's Shadow.

The Shadow teleported to another platform. Ash snarled and started running towards him. The Shadow quickly formed his own twin energy blades and used them to defend himself as Ash reached him, lashing out without any noticeable form or technique, relying on pure rage and instinct rather than any planning or skill. "But…your friends," the Shadow protested, his eyes—one Ash's, and the other a real one, visible through the hole Ash had punched in his mask but too hidden by darkness to properly make out—staring at the frenzied Lucario in disbelief. "They need your help! Aren't you going to do something?!"

"THEY CAN TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES! THE ONLY THING I NEED TO DO RIGHT NOW IS KILL YOU!" Ash roared, his Aura surging insanely and becoming darker and darker in shade the more he tried (and failed) to strike the Shadow.

"You…dammit, Ash, have you learned nothing?!" Oblivon's Shadow snapped, eyes blazing with fury and despair as he fought back, his Aura flaring to become even wilder and darker than Ash's. "Have all the trials and challenges you've faced to this point meant nothing to you? Do you care so little for your friends and family that you'd discard them just for a chance at me? Have you even been _listening_ to a thing I've been saying?!"

"SHUT UP AND DIE!" Ash yelled, slamming his Bone Rush blades together to create a single extra-long saber and thrusting it forward. Oblivion's Shadow jumped into the air, landing on the blade and lashing out at Ash's face with a kick, the Lucario's head snapping back from the impact. The Shadow used the recoil from the kick to backflip and float backwards through the air, dismissing his blades, cupping his hands together, and firing a ridiculously powerful Psybeam at Ash. Ash snarled and fired a Flash Cannon back, the energy beams colliding and pushing at each other, the point of intersection between the two blasts zigzagging back and forth as the combatants poured more and more power into their respective beams.

Finally, the energy overloaded and exploded, disintegrating several of the floating platforms and knocking both of them back quite a distance. Oblivion's Shadow caught himself in midair and went back to levitating, while Ash landed on a floating piece of wall and kicked off it, firing Aura Spheres behind him to propel himself towards his nemesis at blinding speeds. Oblivion's Shadow caught Ash telekinetically and flung him away, smashing him into a building. Ash smashed his way out of the Shadow's Psychic hold with an Aura surge, but the Shadow grabbed him again with an even stronger psychokinetic grip and began flinging him all over the place, smashing him back and forth between several buildings and causing them—as well as some of Ash's bones—to break. Ash, blind to his pain as well as to everything else but his searing need to kill Oblivion's Shadow, roared and released an even bigger blast of power as his Aura continued darkening, getting closer and closer to black. He formed an enormous Aura Sphere over his head, which then shattered into several dozen smaller Aura Spheres that zigzagged through the air and homed in on Oblivion's Shadow. The Shadow waited until the Aura Spheres were almost on him, then teleported out of the way, reappearing behind Ash and fired an enormous Shadow Ball at him. Ash spun about, deflecting the Ball with a kick and sending it flying back towards the Shadow. Oblivion's Shadow caught it in one hand, absorbed its energy, and fired it back at Ash through his other hand, catching him in the chest and exploding, flinging the Lucario backwards…

Right into the homing Aura Spheres, which had not been fooled by Oblivion's Shadow's teleporting trick and had been flying right back towards them. The explosion flung Ash through one of the floating buildings, causing it to collapse on top of him. The hovering pile of debris exploded as Ash blasted his way out of it, but Oblivion's Shadow telekinetically grabbed the rubble, as well as all the other remaining floating platforms and buildings, and threw them at Ash, causing them to converge on the Lucario and seal him in an enormous rough sphere of wood and plaster and stone and whatever else was used for building materials in Treasure Town (quite a lot of it involved feces). The Shadow then smashed the giant ball into the ground and rolled it around a bit, crushing the surrounding buildings and adding their bulk and remains to its mass and causing it to get bigger, much like the katamaris in the game Leo had been talking about earlier. Then he pressed down on it even _harder_ with his mind, causing it to break through the street and fall partway to the catacombs below, burying most of it as well as creating a huge sinkhole that consumed most of the neighborhood.

Cracks started forming in the sphere and shafts of blue and very dark purple light started emanating from them. Knowing Ash was only moments away from breaking free, Oblivion's Shadow blurred, splitting into half a dozen identical Aura clones that hovered in a ring above the giant mound of rubble. The Shadows threw back their heads and cried out, black Auras blazing and rising up from their bodies, converging over their heads and taking the form of an immense nightmarish dragon of black flame. The dragon spread its wings and roared, tongues of black fire dripping from its form. Below, the upper third of the debris sphere exploded as Ash broke free with a blast of Aura. He looked up at the replicas of Oblivion's Shadow and _screamed_, his Aura writhing and getting closer and closer to pitch-black…

And then the Aura dragon gave an answering roar and dove down at the out-of-control Lucario. The conflicting Auras clashed and exploded in a terrible conflagration that consumed several blocks and disintegrated a significant portion of Treasure Town, leaving nothing but a huge smoking crater behind. (Oddly enough, this actually _improved_ the place significantly. Go figure.)

The Aura clones converged and melded back into each other, and Oblivion's Shadow descended, stopping inches off the steaming, fused glass surface making up the floor of the crater. He hovered towards the epicenter, where a smoking Ash lay, hunched over and Aura glowing feebly. When he saw Oblivion's Shadow, the Lucario snarled and tried to get back to his feet, but the Shadow's hands shot out, planting his palms over Ash's heart and forehead. Ash blinked in surprise…and then cried out in agony as Oblivion's Shadow used Aura Purge, blasting the madness out of his Aura and returning him to his senses.

"No…what…what have I done?" Ash whispered in horror as he looked at the desolation surrounding them.

"If you're worried that you killed anyone as fallout from our battle, don't," Oblivion's Shadow assured him. "I telepathically 'suggested' they vacate their homes so that we could fight without causing any collateral damage. Admittedly, they've probably started fighting among themselves, and most of them will be dead by tomorrow morning from battle, starvation, exposure, and the _things_ that roam the streets, but if anyone is to blame for that other than themselves, it is I, not you. This…all of this…is my fault. I had hoped that you had gained better control of your Aura and emotions. I had hoped that your friends had given you more to fight for than revenge for an act you can barely even remember. I was wrong, and for that, I am truly sorry, Ash…as sorry as I am that it's because of me that you even feel this way to begin with. Were it not for me, none of this would ever have happened, and you would probably have died a thousand years ago after living a full and healthy life and becoming Pokemon Master and world savior several times over. And I…well…I would not be what I am now, either." He sighed. "And it's my fault you're here in the first place, too…you were never supposed to come to Sinnorre. If Gardevoir had not sent you that letter, you might still be in Kanjohenn now, preparing to defend your home, or off on another adventure entirely. Could I have left Gardevoir alone? Perhaps, but there are so few people in this world who fit the criteria for my plans, so I had little choice but to abduct her, as well as Misty. I am sorry for that, because I once again set into motion a series of events that would lead to your despair."

"And I'm sorry, too," Ash said quietly, still stunned by all the destruction he had caused. "I never thought I could be like this. I never thought there was such _anger_ in me. I thought I was stronger than this. I thought I was the good guy, the better mon. I thought…" He gasped, not just from sudden realization of how much he hurt but because his Aura was starting to flare up again. "N-no…that Purge you did…it wasn't enough! My anger…even though I know how bad it is, even though I heard what you said, it's coming back! My urge to kill…is rising…h-help me! You said that you cared about me. If that's the case, then…then stop this! Before I lose control again!"

"…Very well. It seems I have no choice." Oblivion's Shadow formed an energy blade.

Ash started. "W-what? You're going to _kill_ me?!"

"I have no other option available. Now that we have fought, now that you have access to more of your memories, the risk of you remembering _everything_ that happened between us all those years ago…and everything since then…is too great," Oblivion's Shadow said, a weary look in the one true eye Ash could see. Something about it seemed familiar… "If you were to lose control again…it would be disastrous. You might destroy more than empty and dilapidated property the next time. The only thing I can do is kill you, remove you from that body so it can no longer channel your hatred for me and turn it into destructive power, erase or repress your memories, and start over. Maybe next time you will be more stable and no longer a danger to yourself and everyone around you. Then again, maybe not. But I will try as many times as it takes to save you from your fury…even if it means killing you again and again."

"But…but my friends…the world…what's going to happen to them?" Ash gasped as he fell to one knee, both from the hurt and from trying to restrain himself, to keep his raging emotions and power in check so he didn't explode again.

"I am afraid that your mission to stop us is at an end, Ash. Your friends are going to die, and we are going to take your map and use it to find the remaining Star Badges and open the Door beneath Treasure Town," Oblivion's Shadow admitted. "But though many people will die and the world itself may be destroyed, I will do my best to make sure it all works out in the end…and that you will not have to worry about it. I've installed soul capture devices in J's ship. When your friends die, their spirits will be contained and brought back to my laboratory, where I will keep them in safety, along with your own soul. That way you will all be together in death, until I can make a new body capable of controlling your power. Perhaps their presence will be the factor that will finally put your troubled heart in balance. The ties of the heart…cannot ever be underestimated."

"No…that can't…that can't be it! You mean…we've lost?! This is the end?!" Ash protested, eyes wide in horror.

"It looks that way, yes," Oblivion's Shadow said, almost sounding sorry.

"No…d-dammit…it can't end like…gah!" Ash cried in pain, clenching his teeth as his Aura flared out again and started to darken. "N-no…not now…not now!"

"It looks like it is going to end like this, after all," Oblivion's Shadow said sadly, raising his blade. "I will try to make sure that your death—and those of your friends—will not hurt. I do not want you to have yet another reason to hate me."

Ash squeezed his eyes shut, fighting back tears along with his rage. "At least tell me this. Will…will Misty be there?"

Oblivion's Shadow froze. "Misty?"

"You pointed out before that I wasn't thinking about her, just myself and what you did or caused to happen. And maybe what I did, too. I'm thinking about her now. Will she be there too? Will her soul join mine and everyone else's?" Ash asked.

Oblivion's Shadow hesitated, uncertain. He had said he wouldn't lie to Ash. But if he told Ash the truth…that Misty was gone, lost to the near-boundless reaches of the Omniverse…how badly would Ash take it? Would the loss be enough to engulf his heart in darkness yet again? "Misty…" Oblivion's Shadow said slowly, trying to think of the right thing to say. "She's…"

"Yes?" Ash asked, looking up.

"She's-" Oblivion's Shadow paused. "What? What is-" He flickered and vanished.

Ash blinked. He sat there for several seconds. Oblivon's Shadow did not reappear. "…W-wait. Come back. Come back!" he cried, scrambling to his feet, only to gasp in pain and fall back to the rather hot ground again. "No…you can't…you can't just leave me hanging like that! Where's Misty? What's happened to her?!" There was no reply. Oblivion's Shadow was gone. His rage fading and his Aura dying down with the source of his inexplicable anger gone, Ash screamed in frustration and despair. "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!"

His shout echoed throughout the broken and twisted streets of Treasure Town. Nobody answered it. Nobody dared to. As the sound of his voice faded away, Ash sat there crying in the crater for a few minutes, feeling lost and confused and no longer sure who he was or what he was supposed to be doing. He was snapped out of his self-pity when he heard explosions in the distance, and suddenly remembered that he was not the only one fighting that night. "The others…my friends…I…they need me…" He pulled out some seeds and potions and other curative items and quickly started working on his wounds. He didn't know what his friends were going to say when they saw him, or how he was going to explain why he'd abandoned them or the strange and terrifying transformation happening within him, but he knew that he couldn't let his team down. Not again. Right now, it was the only thing he was absolutely certain of in his life…as everything else he thought he had known crumbled away from him.

…

Elsewhere…

Oblivion's Shadow's eyes snapped open, and he found himself back in his suite. There was a pounding on the door, and someone was shouting, "Hello? Oblivion's Shadow, sir? Are you in there? Something important's come up! You're needed right away!"

Oblivion's Shadow sat very still for a moment, stunned. And then he became very angry. He did not rant and scream and rage, he did not destroy furniture or trash his room, all he did was clench his fist very tightly. He wiped away an errant tear—noting it with some surprise, he had thought himself all out of tears for a long time now--, put on his mask, stood up, opened the door, and attacked the Nihilator who had disturbed him and broken his concentration, preventing him from killing Ash and accomplishing his goal to prevent the former human's power from going out of control, in an incredibly brutal and grisly fashion, tearing him apart from the inside out and setting all of his nerves on fire both figuratively and literally and hurting him and hurting him until he was reduced to a whimpering pile of mutilated flesh lying in a puddle of his own blood and feces. That taken care of, he calmly turned to the second Nihilator standing outside his door, a Gliscor, telekinetically lifted him into the air, and slammed him against a wall hard enough to dent it and break most of his bones. "I gave very specific instructions that I was not to be disturbed for any reason whatsoever. That I was in the middle of an extremely delicate experiment and if my concentration were to be broken, it could have dire consequences. What is so important that you directly disobeyed my orders and possibly jeopardized our entire operation?"

"Gardevoir's been attacked by an unknown assailant," the Gliscor said.

Oblivion's Shadow stiffened. "What?"

"Gardevoir's been attacked by an unknown assailant. We don't know how he got in or who he was, but he's escaped, and he did…_something_ to Gardevoir on his way out. She's…changing. Doctor Tarantulas is examining her in his lab. He said you would want to know," the Gliscor repeated.

"…I see. I suppose that is information worth interrupting me before," Oblivion's Shadow admitted. "Because that jeopardizes our plans as well."

"That's what Doctor Tarantulas said, sir," the Gliscor said.

"Thank you for telling me." Oblivion's Shadow snapped the Gliscor's neck, dumped him on the floor next to the other corpse, and set out for Tarantulas' lab. The Doctor had some explaining to do…as did whoever had been charge of watching Gardevoir's cell. The prospect of violently killing whoever was responsible for this almost took his mind off his failure of Ash…and the long-buried feelings of guilt that arose whenever he spent too much time around him. _Ash…I can only hope your friends, should they survive against J, will be able to help you harness your powers and keep your rage in check…otherwise; I will have no choice but to kill you again…my brother._

…

Back in Treasure Town…

J's henchmon blasted Briney in shifts, rotating in new fire-breathing Pokemon as the current ones got exhausted and started losing their heat. They had been steadily training their flames on the Metang for several minutes now, knowing they could take absolutely no precautions with this one and had to make absolutely sure he was dead before they could even think about letting their guard down.

However, it turned out not to be a dropped guard or their own tiredness that saved Briney, but the change of weather caused by Leo's Rain Dance. Several of the Fire Pokemon glanced up in alarm as rain started falling on them. It washed over their flesh, caused the flames on their bodies to sizzle, and weakened the inferno they were enveloping Briney in, causing steam to rise from the mass of fire and the Metang's form to become visible again somewhere in the middle of the conflagration. "Ack! I don't remember the weather forecast saying anything about rain!" a startled Charmeleon cried, shielding his tail flame.

"Quick, somebody use Sunny Day before the fire gets too low-" a Slugma started.

"Too late." An eye glowed blue in the flames, and with a blast of Psychic energy the weakened flames were blown away, the force of the mental burst buffeting the Fire-types and knocking them back. Briney, his metal body glowing white-hot and steam pouring off his form in droves as the rain pattered on him, rose from the small crater the intense Gravity attacks had trapped him in. He took off his cap, which was still burning, and shook it about until the flames went out and he could doff it again. It looked rather singed, but was still serviceable, much like the old seamon himself: he was covered in burns and his metal hide looked partially melted in more than a few places, but the gleam in his eye and the way his fangs were interlocked in a terrifying grin showed that despite the beating he'd taken so far, he was still ready and willing to fight…and give them payback for everything they'd done to him so far. "A brave effort, lads…but did you really think some paltry pyrotechnics would take down the likes of me?"

"N-no way…you should be dead, if not close to it by now! How are you still so strong?!" a heavily intimidated Monferno cried.

Briney chuckled cruelly as he cracked his knuckles, sparks flying from his claws. _It's a little technique called 'Endure,'_ he thought to himself. _Pretty handy in a rough pinch when you're out of shield power._ That wasn't what he said, of course, not intending to let them know how close they had come to putting him out of commission. Instead, he laughed, sending shivers down their spines. "How? I'll tell you how! It's because…" He crossed his arms. "I!" He started glowing. "AM!" His eye flashed. "BRINEY!"

The Explosion was tremendous, rocking Treasure Town, causing numerous buildings to cave in, and completely destroying a large section of the harbor front, leaving a gaping hole behind that the seawater eagerly rushed in to fill, consuming the screaming Pokemon unable to climb out in time and poisoning them to death before they could drown. Briney turned to the Pokemon who had managed to outrun or were thrown clear by the Explosion and gave them his very best Scary Face, something so terrifying that more than a few of the henchmon fainted or defecated themselves in terror. "So…does anyone else want a piece of this?"

They did not, as it turned out. The henchmon decided that no paycheck was worth fighting something like Briney and ran away, screaming at the top of their lungs. This turned out to be a mistake when Briney cackled madly and used Pursuit, unleashing a powerful blast of Dark energy that chased after the fleeing Pokemon and flung them to the ground with incredible force, killing some and severely wounding the rest. Briney grinned. "Hmmph. Cowards. They should have known better than to turn their backs on me." He winced in pain, his wounds finally taking their toll on him. "Ugh…they gave better than I expected, I'll commend them for that, though. Not enough to put me out of the fight, however…now, let's see, who else can I beat up next? Where'd that Hunter J bitch get off to?" He floated off in search of his next victim.

While the Captain went in pursuit of a good fight, Lily's seemed to be at an end. With a terrible scream of terror and pain, she was sucked into the Muon Containment Unit, which slammed shut over her, sealing her inside and shattering the icy binding spells. Steam hissed from the device, and a red light flashed on its side to indicate a successful capture. "Bagged and tagged," the Umbreon said.

"Nice work, fellows," the Skuntank said.

The Honchkrow nodded. "Yeah, Bellum will be very pleased with our results."

"No. She won't." Suddenly, about a dozen or so hair-thin tendrils (actually, they _were_ hairs) lanced out from above them, piercing their headsets and shorting them out. The Pokemon yelped in pain as feedback from the devices bombarded their ears.

"Gah! What the…" a Nuzleaf stammered.

"It's you!" the alarmed Sneasel cried as Lily floated down into view. "But, but how?! We just captured you! Didn't we?!"

Lily smiled coldly. "I guess my mother forgot to tell you that I could use Substitute. It seems she didn't prepare you as well as you thought."

"Oh yeah? Then it's a good thing we have a spare Ghost trap and extra binding spells-" the Houndour said as they took out more spell tags, only for Lily to ignite them before they could be activated and reduce them to cinders. "Or…not…"

The Crawdaunt frantically tried to get the backup Muon Containment Unit working, but Lily hurled a Shadow Ball at it, destroying the device. "Ack! Do you have any idea how much these things cost?!"

"J's gonna take it out on us!" a Houndoom cried.

"You'll have a lot more to worry about soon enough," Lily said angrily, hair billowing wildly behind her. She opened her mouth and began using Perish Song. The Dark Pokemon screamed in agony and fell to the ground, their broken headsets no longer protecting them from the deadly sonic attack. They wailed and moaned and begged for mercy, but Lily kept on singing, ignoring the pain that wracked her body—she had had worse, after all—and the howls and screams and pleas of her victims. It was only when the screams degenerated into gurgles and croaks and finally went silent that Lily stopped her song. She glared at the tortured and twisted forms lying around her, for once feeling very little guilt for what she had done to them. "You can tell my mother yourselves that she will never take me from my friends. I will never go back to her."

_Don't you think that was a little…extreme?_ B said after a moment.

"They aren't dead. They'll survive," Lily said coldly.

_I know, but…that's just…_

"They deserved it. They were trying to take me from my friends. They were trying to take me back to Mother. I couldn't…" Her voice broke, and she started shaking. "I couldn't let that happen. Not now, not ever. I will do whatever I have to do to remain a part of Team Aurabolt."

_I understand that, but…what you did…_

"Yes?"

_You seemed a lot like Bellum for a moment. It almost looked like you _enjoyed _it._

Lily closed her eyes. A tear rolled down her cheek. "I know. Even more than the prospect of losing my friends…that is what terrifies me most of all."

Meanwhile, Leo was in dire straits, out cold due to a doze of a tranquilizing Poison Sting, with a Skorupi about to cut his head off with its tail claw. "I don't suppose Mistress J will mind if I eat what's left of him and take his things as trophies, would she?" the scorpion asked himself, gleefully anticipating the accolades he would receive for defeating an opponent that at least a dozen of J's strongest (well, average) minions couldn't beat.

"She won't…but I certainly will!"

The Skorupi blinked. "What-" Leo's arm shot out and sprayed a bottle of Antidote down the scorpion's throat. He screeched in pain and staggered backwards, clawing at his throat as his stomach convulsed and foam started spilling from his jaws.

Smirking, Leo got up and tossed the used bottle away. "It's a shame they don't consider me important enough to have a detailed dossier on…otherwise, they might have told you that I routinely inject myself with Antidote before fights where I could potentially get Poisoned, so I don't have to worry about falling for cheap tricks like the one you pulled!"

"What…but then…if you weren't affected and knew I was there all along…why did you go along with it?!" the Skorupi gasped, retching and spitting up foam and blood.

Leo grinned. "To heighten the drama and make myself seem that much more of a badass, of course! And now that I have you right where I want you…it's time to take you down!" He started running towards the scorpion.

"N-no! My accolades...my promotion…I won't let you take them away from me!" the Skorupi cried, lunging forward, foaming jaws opening wide with Bite.

Leo retracted his head into his shell so that the Skorupi's mandibles slammed shut over thin air, then delivered an uppercut to the scorpion's underbelly that sent him flying, landing on his back some distance away. The Skorupi tried to right itself, but Leo pulled fully into his shell and slammed into him with Rapid Spin, sending him flying away. The Scorpion frantically fired Pin Missiles, but Leo popped out of his shell and blew the needles away with Bubbles, then struck the Skorupi full-on with an Ice Beam. The scorpion's cries of anguish were frozen in mid-howl as he was encased in a block of ice, and he fell back to the ground, landing with a heavy thud and almost shattering. "Yatta!" Leo cried triumphantly. "I'd make a joke about putting you on ice…but those puns are so lame and overdone." He glanced around him, confirming that all his other potential opponents were still out cold. (Pun not intended.) "Well, looks like that's the last of them…let's see if the others don't need my awesome skillz!"

He ran off to find his friends. Soon enough, he found Lily, hovering over the bodies of her defeated opponents. "Lily! Hey, Lily!" he called as he approached.

She turned around, her gloomy features lighting up when she saw her friend and emotional tutor. "Leo! You're all right!"

"And so are you! I was worried you might have gotten into…whoa." Leo stared at the mangled figures of the beaten Dark-types for a moment. "Ah, Lily?"

"Yes Leo?" Lily asked.

He grimaced. "We need to have a talk about why good guys don't torture people, okay?"

Lily blinked. "They don't? Why not?"

"_Because_ we're the good guys. That's only something the bad guys do. Well, unless you're morally ambiguous or more 'gray' than black or white, which we certainly aren't, or at least I'd like to think we aren't," Leo said.

"Oh. I'm sorry, I'll try not to do it again. It's just…" Lily fidgeted. "They were trying to take me back to my mother. I couldn't let that happen. I like being here with you and Ash and Pikachu and Sasha and even Tiny too much to ever return to…to her."

Leo nodded. "I can understand that sentiment, and I approve of your feeling that way. But…ah, one question. If you were forced to choose between seeing us die and going back to your mother, which option would you take?"

"Oh, seeing you die, of course," Lily said. "Because then you might come back as Ghosts and we could continue on as we are now, together forever."

Leo stared at her for a long moment. He took a deep breath, hesitated, and then shook his head. "That's…I'm not sure where to begin with that."

Lily frowned. "Did I do something wrong?"

"I…I'm not sure now's the best time to get into it, okay? Let's go and help the others," Leo said.

"Do they need help? Briney seems very competent," Lily said.

Leo nodded. "That's true, and there was that big Explosion a minute ago, so he's probably fine…wait, where's Tiny?"

Lily glanced around. "I don't see him anywhere…wait, didn't Ash say something about Hunter J being the one who did something to Tiny's mother? You don't think he'd take her on all by himself, would he?"

"…Yeah. Yeah, I'm pretty sure he would. Shit! Come on, we gotta find him before he gets himself killed!" Leo cried.

Tiny wasn't presently in danger of getting killed. He was, however, in danger of becoming a collector's item. "I've got tons of internal bleeding and hemhorraging…my minions are dropping left and right…it doesn't look like I'll be able to complete the job I've been hired for," J hissed to the petrified Tiny, clutching him in one claw as she limped back towards one of the ropes dangling from the bottom of her ship. "But if I bring you in…at least it won't have been a complete failure…"

"Stop right there, Hunter J!" Leo shouted as he and Lily raced over.

"We've beaten your minions! Drop Tiny now and we'll…um, what are we supposed to do, Leo?" Lily asked the Squirtle.

"Let her go without beating her too hard, basically," Leo said.

Lily frowned. "What, let her go? After everything she's done?"

"Well, maybe not let her go so much as defeat her without killing her?" Leo suggested.

"That doesn't seem like a very good way of dealing with her," Lily said.

"Well, yeah, but that's sort of how these things are done," Leo said. "And it's not exactly as if we can put her in prison or anything. I doubt this town even has one."

"All right, if you say so LOOK OUT!" She grabbed Leo with her hair and pulled him out of the way before a beam from J's arm cannon could hit him.

"Ack!" Leo yelped.

"Cute. The two of you thought to come after me without backup?" J sneered, pointing her cannon at them while tucking Tiny under her other arm, wincing at how much it hurt her appendage to move. "If you step any closer, I'll blast the both of you. In fact, maybe I should blast you anyway, Bellum will certainly pay well for retrieving you, Lily, and I bet Doctor Tarantulas will be happy to get the Squirtle his assistant is so obsessed with."

Leo blanched. "Chobin? Oh crap, I don't really want to run into that guy on my own…"

Lily nodded in agreement. "Raping you and eating your organs is the least he would do to you. Even Mother is somewhat disturbed by Chobin's cravings."

"We probably should have thought this through a little better, huh?" Leo said with a sigh.

"Yes, you certainly should have!" J sneered. She fired her cannon, turning both of them to stone. She chuckled, then winced in pain at how much it hurt her chest. "Ugh…well, at least I may be able to turn some kind of profit from this…"

"Yeah, I don't think so." An Ice Beam struck her arm, freezing the blaster solid.

J startled and whirled around. Much to her astonishment, Leo and Lily were standing not too far away, the witch with several fireballs floating around her and the Squirtle poised for battle. "What the…how did you…" The two statues she had created vanished in a puff of smoke. "Ah, Substitutes. Of course. Very clever."

"Yeah, I thought so too," Leo agreed.

"But not clever enough," J said, closing her claw around Tiny's neck. While Leo's Ice Beam had frozen her gun, the rest of her arm was still in working condition. "Back away slowly or I'll take his head off. My claws are strong enough to cut through his skin, petrified or not."

"Um…is she bluffing?" Lily asked Leo uncertainly.

"If it were anyone else, I'd say yes. But…given J's reputation…" Leo said uneasily. "She wouldn't make a profit, but she'd still get the last laugh."

"I could set her on fire," Lily suggested. "Or Curse her. Or try Perish Song."

"Yeah, and the pain reflex from any of those moves could cause her to snap Tiny's neck," Leo pointed out. "Which is why I can't freeze her, either, since she can probably kill him before I hit her."

"Then…what do we do?" Lily asked.

"Um…give me a second. I'll think of something," Leo said. "Or a deus ex machina will save us. They usually do."

J grinned as she backed away towards the rope, Tiny still held tightly under her arm. "That's right. Stand there and do nothing as I get away. You can't stop me."

"They can't…but _I _can!" Briney shouted, appearing from nowhere and telekinetically tugging the Larvitar out of J's claws before they could take off Tiny's neck.

"What? No!" J cried in alarm. She was crying a lot louder too when the Metang dropped a house on her. "GAAAAAHHHH!"

"It's Captain Briney!" Lily cried in relief.

"Dude, that was awesome! You always show up just when we need you most…with a house. Nice save!" Leo exulted. "At this rate, you'll beat Sam and Max for the number of times you've saved us out of the blue!"

"It's what I do," Briney said as he floated down to them and put Tiny on the ground.

"Oh, you're hurt," Lily realized, taking in the Captain's damaged condition.

"It's all right, lass, I've had worse," Briney assured her.

"Don't worry, Captain, I've got some Potions in here somewhere," Leo said, rummaging in his shell. "And hopefully something to change Tiny back to normal, too."

"Oh, no need," Lily said, pulling out her spellbook. She flipped it open, chanted a few phrases, and warm green light briefly flashed over all of them. When it faded away, all of their injuries were healed, their tiredness was gone, and even Tiny was back to normal.

"Hmm. Not bad, Lily," Briney admitted, looking at his healed body. Even his burnt hat had been repaired. Tiny sucked his pacifier, grudgingly impressed, but not very grateful.

"You know healing magic? Cool! Why didn't you mention it before?" Leo asked.

"It didn't seem relevant at the time…oh! That's right, you told me I was supposed to tell you things when I know of them, rather than assuming they're unimportant or something that can be saved for later, right?" Lily asked.

"Yeah. Why, do you have something else to say?" Leo asked.

Lily shook her head. "Um…no, I don't think…oh! Wait, I do remember one thing. You know Ash is, or was, a human, right?"

"Yeah, why?" Leo asked.

"Well…when we were looking for a way to change him back to normal when Brodie stole his identity, the Dark Clefairy we consulted mentioned something about Ash killing Darkrai in the past. Is that important?" the Misdreavus asked.

Leo blinked. "Ash did _what?!_ Holy Miltank, that's definitely important. Why didn't you…never mind, you're telling me now, that's good enough. Why and how'd he do it?"

"Um…that I don't know," Lily admitted. "He said he'd explain it later, but he never did, and so I forgot about it until now."

"I know," Briney said.

"You do?" asked the surprised Leo. "Oh, wait, of course you do, you read Ash's mind. Why didn't you tell _us_ sooner, then?"

Briney shrugged. "Because it's Ash's story to tell, not mine. And even if it were my story to tell, I wouldn't tell it right now, considering we're in the middle of a fight."

"Are we? It looks like J's been defeated, and we've taken care of all her minions," Lily said. There was a mighty cry and suddenly the house exploded as J blasted her way out with Cross Poison. "Oh. Never mind."

"Lily, in the future, never say anything like that again, its tempting fate, and fate loves to follow through on that sort of thing," Leo said.

"Oh. I'll keep that in mind," Lily promised.

Tiny narrowed his eyes and took a step forward, Aura blazing up around him again. Briney put an arm in his path. "No lad, that's what got you petrified to begin with. Mayhaps some tact and patience would serve you better in this instance?"

"I'm surprised to hear this from you, a mon who's been on a quest for vengeance for ten years," Leo said.

"I've had that long to learn when it's the time for action…and when it's the time to hold back and see what happens," Briney said wisely. "Besides, if the boy kills her now, we can't pump her for information."

"Oh, that's true," Leo realized.

"But how do we do that without torture?" Lily asked, having resolved not to torture anyone again, since Leo said it was wrong.

"Who said we weren't going to torture her?" Briney said.

Lily blinked in confusion. "What? But Leo said-"

"Um, I'll try and explain more of the complex morality involved in heroing later," Leo said uncomfortably. "Uh, Captain, are you sure we should…"

"Trust me, Leo, I know the proper way to get information out of scum like J," Briney said, his reassuring grin not looking the least bit reassuring.

J panted for breath, blood streaming all over her body. "Information? I'm afraid you'll just be wasting your time…I never reveal information about a client!"

"Oh, we'll see about that," Briney said ominously, cracking his knuckles.

"Give it up, J. You're in no condition to keep fighting us. Surrender now and we won't let Tiny beat the crap out of you for what you did to his mother!" Leo said.

J blinked. "Mother? What are you talking about?"

Leo frowned. "What, you don't recognize him? Then again, the last time you saw him he was an egg, so that's not surprising…a few months ago, you tried to capture a mother Tyranitar and her egg. You got the mom, but lost her child. Tiny _is_ that child…and I bet he's pretty interested in finding out what you did to his mom, aren't you Tiny?" Tiny nodded in agreement.

J blinked in surprise, recognition clear in her eyes. "A mother and her egg? So, you're the one who got away…and you had the power of Aura all along? Incredible! My client at the time would have paid extra for him if he had known that little detail…"

"And who was your client?" Briney asked. "What did you do with Tiny's mother?"

J grinned cruelly. "You know, that's a tough question. What _did_ I do with his mother? Did I give her to Oblivion's Shadow to turn into a Shadow Pokemon? Did I give her to Doctor Tarantulas to use as one of his experiments? Did I give her to a butcher to chop up and sell her meat to restaurants that cater to carnivores that prefer authentic Pokemon flesh to the synthesized stuff everyone else eats? Did I sell her to a mine as a worker? A crime boss as a bodyguard? A wealthy individual as a pet? A sex slave to a pervert who's into that sort of thing? Or did I just kill her because she was causing too many problems? I really can't recall. I've caught so _many_ Tyranitars and other Pokemon over the years. After a while, all those faces start running together. And it's not as if I've ever cared what happened to them…I'm in it for the money, not like the testosterone-crazed junkies who only care about the 'thrill of the hunt.'" She laughed, her chortles degenerating into coughs as more blood and bile bubbled from her mouth.

"…Oh my," said a shocked Lily.

"You sick bitch!" Leo snarled.

Tiny quivered with rage, his Aura swirling around him and growing steadily darker. Briney narrowed his eye. "I think," he said after a moment. "That you might want to rethink that attitude, Miss J."

She grinned, fangs stained red with her own blood. "Do you now? Perhaps _you_ should rethink that attitude…considering that you haven't defeated all my henchmon, and I still have an entire heavily-armed airship under my command!" The gun emplacements on J's ship swiveled to point at the heroes and started powering up.

"Oh crap. How'd we forget about that?!" Leo cried in alarm.

"Lily, get your Substitute spell ready! Leo and Tiny, be prepared to dig an escape route! I'll shield us as best I can!" Briney barked, preparing to set up barriers.

J laughed. "Those won't be good enough to save you from my vessel…it's taken down legendary Pokemon! A witch, a half-pint Aura user, a fat Squirtle, and an old seamon won't be able to stand up to blaaauUUUGGGH!" she cried as one of the cannons switched targets and fired, engulfing her in a pink gum-like substance that covered her body and pinned her to the ground.

The heroes blinked. "O…kay, I was not expecting that," Leo said.

"Shouldn't that have hit us?" Lily asked.

Briney frowned and glanced up at the airship. "Why do I get the feeling Hunter J is no longer in command of that vessel?" Tiny sucked his pacifier.

"Wh-what?! Why are you firing at me, you imbeciles! They're the ones we're supposed to be killing!" J shouted up at the ship. In reply, a beam shot down from the vessel and struck her, but rather than killing her it lifted her gum-covered mass into the air and started dragging her up towards a large hatch opening in its underside. "What?! Hey! HEY! Put me down! PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT, YOU-" She started cursing and screaming as the tractor beam pulled her into the ship, where she disappeared. Other tractor beams shot from the ship's bottom and started lifting the bodies of the defeated or dead henchmon, dragging them up into the ship as well. Tiny narrowed his eyes and ran forwards, trying to jump into one of the beams before it disappeared, but one of the laser cannons fired, causing the ground in front of him to explode. He stopped in his tracks, raising his arms to shield himself from the dust and debris, and by the time the way was clear all the tractor beams had retracted into the ship. The force field covering the area vanished and the antenna on the bridge lowered back inside as the ship's engines powered up, the exhaust from the thrusters blasting the heroes back and keeping Briney from flying up after the ship as it rose into the air, shimmered, and disappeared.

"Um…what just happened?" Lily asked after a moment.

"I have no idea," Leo admitted. "Which is unusual for me."

Tiny clenched his fists. His Aura exploded around him in rage, cracking the pavement around him. "Don't worry, lad," Briney assured him, putting a hand on Tiny's shoulder, ignoring the blue flames. "We'll get her someday." Tiny stared at him and started Screeching. Briney winced and retracted his appendage. "Gah…was there some siren in your ancestry, boy? You certainly scream like one."

"Shouldn't we chase after her?" Lily asked.

"How? Her ship moved way too fast. It's miles away by now," Leo said. He frowned. "I doubt we've seen the last of her, though. But I wonder…why'd her crew turn against her? Or was something going on up there that we weren't even aware of while we were fighting down here?"

"We may never know…" Briney muttered. Tiny sucked his pacifier dejectedly.

"Don't worry, Tiny. I promise we'll find out what happened to your mom someday!" Leo assured the Larvitar. "Given the theory of narrative causality, it's a given that we'll eventually run into her, and she'll probably try to kill us. Then we'll save her with the power of love and you'll open your heart and get a happy ending! Or she's been dead all along and you'll just have one more reason to despise J and the rest of the world."

"You always sound so sure of these things," Lily marveled. "Is this more of your power of 'genre-savvy' at work?"

"Pretty much, yeah," Leo said. "Speaking of which, now that we're all finished with our fights, I predict that Pikachu will finish up with that ninja and Ash will return to purify her right about…now!" They glanced around. Nothing happened. "Yep, any minute now," Leo said.

"Maybe we should-" Lily started.

"ANY. MINUTE. NOW," Leo repeated loudly. Lily and Briney sweatdropped. Tiny sucked his pacifier.

…

Up in J's airship…

"Who's responsible for this insubordination? What's going on here?! I demand an explanation!" J snarled as she struggled furiously at the imprisoning gum, glaring murderously at the Pokemon wearing black outfits with red Rs on them that were surrounding her. "Who _are_ you people?"

A Skarmory and a Steelix came forward. "Hunter J?" the Skarmory asked.

"Who's asking?!" J growled.

"I'm Hun, and he's Attila. We work for a group called Team Rocket," the Steelix said.

"And our boss would _really_ like a word with you," Attila said.

J blinked. "A client? Well, that's different, then. But if you wanted to hire me for something, there are easier ways of contacting me then commandeering my ship and taking me and my mons into captivity."

Hun grinned sinisterly. "Oh, we don't want to hire you for anything."

"We'd like to have a _word_ with you…regarding your ties with an organization we're working against," Attila said.

Hun narrowed her eyes. "What can you tell us about the Nihilators?"

…

Shadow Aura blazing, the ninja Buneary landed from her Bounce, punching the ground with tremendous force and causing jagged dark ice spikes to erupt from the snow all over the place. Pikachu dashed towards her on all fours, using his Agility and Quick Attack to dodge out of the way of the spikes as they emerged in his path. Narrowing her eyes, the ninja backflipped and landed on top of one of the ice spikes as Pikachu drew close. Her form blurred, and suddenly there were clones of her standing on top of all the spikes. The rabbits powered up and fired Ice Beams at Pikachu from all angles. The electric samurai transitioned from a dash to a spinning leap, Thunder Fang and Iron Tail whirling around him and deflecting the Beams, causing them to blast all over the place, shattering some of the spikes and destroying a few of the clones.

He landed at the base of the spike the true ninja was on and started dashing up its side towards her, sword clenched between his teeth. The ninja hopped backwards before he could reach the top, conjuring an ice sword and slicing downward as she fell, cleaving the spike in two and nearly bisecting Pikachu as well, but Thunder Fang caught and deflected the blow, though that didn't stop her sword strike from cutting a gash in his forehead and drawing blood, which almost immediately froze due to the cold temperatures of the battlefield. Pikachu panted as he landed in the black snow, the pieces of the spike crashing down behind him. He wasn't sure how much longer he could go on like this. Frost had formed on his fur, and there were several wounds in his sides that had crusted over with pink ice that probably wasn't especially healthy. The ninja didn't look as if she was in as bad a shape, but that was because his sword couldn't cut through her skin The weariness in her angry red eyes and the way her Shadow Aura wavered told Pikachu that his opponent was nearing her limits as well. He just had to hold out a little longer…and hope that she fainted before he did, and that his teammates showed up before he could freeze to death.

Grinning fiercely, he raised his sword and locked eyes with the ninja, letting her know that he hadn't given up yet…both on winning the battle, and on saving her soul. Her Aura pulsed and her form blurred, and then there were a dozen ninjas in a wide ring surrounding Pikachu. He smirked; his figure blurring as well as he used Double Team to create his own dopplegangers. The Bunearies fired Ice Beams at the same time as the Pikachus released Thunderbolts, the energy bolts colliding and exploding in a blast that destroyed them simultaneously while the true Pikachu and Buneary clashed blades high above them, both warriors having recognized the clones for the distractions they were and sought each other out to prevent either one of them from striking a preemptive blow. Flipping away from a spinning sword and tail strike from Pikachu, the ninja hurled ice shuriken at him. He destroyed them with a Vacuum-Cut, and fired a Thunderbolt at her. She vanished out of the way…

Which turned out to be just what Pikachu wanted, as he used his current altitude to blast Thunder all over the battlefield, striking nearly every point on the ground in rapid succession and briefly erasing all shadows, forcing the ninja from her hiding place and causing her to get hit full on with several hundred volts of electric power. Eyes squeezed shut in pain, she collapsed briefly to one knee, Shadow Aura struggling to reconstitute itself and heal her…

And then Pikachu shot past her, lashing out with Thunder Fang as he went by. Her eyes widened in pain and shock as her ice armor shattered and her Shadow Aura dissipated. She collapsed to the ground, a small cloud of black snow rising up around her. Pikachu's legs almost gave out and his sword nearly fell from his numb paws, but he refused to fall to the floor either, exhausted though he was. He turned around, keeping his guard up. He wasn't naïve enough to think it was over just like that.

He was right. The ninja's Shadow Aura, refusing to allow its host to be defeated, yet again revived her, exploding outwards and causing Pikachu to flinch as the Buneary rose once more to continue the fight. As she slowly turned to face him, their eyes met, and Pikachu knew that this was it. They were both so worn out from all the fighting that both of them only had one attack left in them. Whoever survived this next clash would win the battle. Pikachu steeled himself, waiting for the ninja to make her move.

He didn't have to wait long. With another blast of Shadow Aura, she started walking towards him, moving slowly but picking up speed as power gathered around her. Pikachu crouched down to the ground, put his sword in his mouth, and started forwards as well, cheeks crackling in tune with his blade as he began moving faster. Red and black flames surged around the ninja as she rushed forward, calling again upon her most powerful attack, Frustration. As if to counteract her darkness, golden light blazed to life in a nimbus around Pikachu as he dashed forward, using Volt Tackle.

Energy streaking off their forms, the combatants collided, light and darkness coming together for one last battle. Their respective energy shells surged around them as they pressed against each other, pumping every last ounce of power they had into this final clash. There was a flash of light, and a blinding explosion as the ice walls shattered…

And the snow stopped falling, only to be replaced by rain. There was a crack of thunder, and all was silent.

…

"Ah, finally!" Leo said a moment after his ears stopped ringing. "I knew it would come down right about now!"

"…Leo, we were standing out here for ten minutes," said a confused Lily. "Ten minutes we could have spent melting or digging our way in there to help Pikachu."

"Or even flying over, it's not like there was a roof over that thing," Briney said.

Leo shook his head. "Nah, Pikachu would've wanted to handle it by himself."

"No, I'm pretty sure I heard him thinking, 'Where the hell are those guys?!' several times while he was separated from us, along with, 'It's really fucking cold,'" Briney argued.

"…Ah. Well. In that case, if he asks what took us so long we'll lie and say we were still fighting J and that we were just about to come help him when the walls came down on their own," Leo said. The others sweatdropped. "What? It'll be a better excuse then whatever Ash has to say for missing THE ENTIRE FREAKING BATTLE."

"Good point, lad. He'd better have a pretty good explanation for abandoning us like that…" Briney said.

"I'm sure he had a good reason," Lily said uncertainly. "At least, I _hope_ he does." Tiny sucked his pacifier in agreement.

As the smoke from the explosion that had destroyed the ice barrier cleared, the foursome headed into the remains to look for Pikachu and his adversary. They found him in the middle of a field of black snow that was already being turned to slush by the rain, cheeks and sword crackling fiercely as he tried to keep the ninja Buneary, who was still not quite down for the count, pinned to the ground using his body weight and the flat of his blade. The latter seemed to be having more of an effect than the former, the ninja's weakened Shadow Aura reacting violently to the proximity of the holy sword, the Buneary wincing in pain and struggling with all her might to knock Pikachu off her. Fortunately, she didn't really have much might left at the moment, but neither did Pikachu, so they were about even. "Hey, you got her! Nice job!" Leo said as they joined the mouse.

"Not quite…she's still fighting," Pikachu grunted, gritting his teeth as he tried to keep the ninja on the ground. "Where were you guys? I could have used your help ages ago!"

"We were-" Lily started.

"Fighting Pokemon Hunter J and rescuing Tiny from her clutches," Leo said, which was not entirely a lie. "Then her airship sucked her and everyone else up and flew away. No clue why, either."

"It was rather strange," Lily agreed.

"Well, now that you're here, I don't suppose you could lend me a hand incapacitating our friend here? I'm not sure I can hold her back much longer," Pikachu said.

"My Psychic moves don't work on her due to that Sneasel blood of hers, and I don't think I could get a good grip on her with you in the way…I could drop another house on her, but…well, since you're so close, I might wind up breaking your spine," Briney said.

Pikachu blanched. "Yeah, let's not do that."

Lily took out her spellbook. "Let me see if I can find a binding spell…"

"Oh, we don't need to bother with that, Pikachu just has to kiss her," Leo said.

Pikachu stared at him. "…What? What in the…what gives you that idea?!"

"For one thing, the power of love will weaken the grip on the evil inside of her and allow you to awaken her true feelings!" Leo gushed. "And for another, she totally won't see it coming, so will be too shocked for a while to be a threat."

Pikachu's eye twitched. "Leo, for the last time, I am not in love with her, and I am _not going to kiss-_" Briney telekinetically grabbed Pikachu's head and pushed it downwards, smashing his face into the Buneary's and causing their lips to meet. The Buneary's eyes widened in astonishment…and then they closed and she leaned into the impromptu kiss, her Shadow Aura dissipating significantly as her resistance faded.

"…Whoa. I didn't really think he was going to do it!" Leo pulled out his camera and took a picture, intending to save it for blackmail purposes.

"Um, why did you do that?" Lily asked Briney.

The Metang shrugged. "I thought it would be funny, to be honest. And it seems to have worked, hasn't it?" Tiny made a face of disgust.

Ash appeared at the edge of the snowfield. "Guys, I'm sorry I took so long to get here, You won't believe what hap…whoa, is Pikachu kissing the ninja? Wow, I always knew he had a thing for her, but I never thought he'd move so quickly!"

"Ash! There you are!" Lily said in relief. Tiny sucked his pacifier happily.

"Hmm, we were wondering when you'd show up," Briney said. He frowned, eye narrowing as he scanned Ash's latest memories. Hello…that was interesting…

"About damn time! What took you so long?" Leo asked, looking annoyed.

Ash hesitated, unsure where to start…or how much to tell them. "Well, the thing is-"

"He ran off in a snit because Oblivion's Shadow is in fact Lord Null, the evil being who destroyed his world and life as a human a thousand years ago—since it turns out Ash's home world is _our_ world in the distant past, not a parallel universe like he had always thought—and instinctively despises and wants to kill the Shadow because of it in spite of his memory loss, which is compounded further by the Shadow somehow being responsible for Ash's current existence in our time, his form as a Lucario, and his being adopted into Pokemon Square and gaining friends and family, leading Ash to wonder just how much of his life is authentic and how much was just a construct made by the Nihilators for some as-yet unknown purpose. Additionally, his anger and desire to kill Oblivion's Shadow is so great that it's a danger to himself and everything around him, since it means he might snap at the drop of a hat if he sees the Shadow again and go on a crazed murderous rampage, even killing innocent people in his desire for revenge, much like how he killed Darkrai and Cresselia a thousand years ago even though they only had a tangential part in the deaths of his friends and mother in his past life," Briney said.

There was a long pause as everyone processed this. "Wait, _what?!_" Lily gasped.

Ash blinked. "…Dammit Briney, will you stop prying into other people's heads?!"

"No," Briney said. Tiny gave him a disapproving look.

Leo stared at Ash in astonishment. "Dude…that's totally mind-blowing! I can't imagine how you must be feeling right now…especially since the whole thing's kinda clichéd."

Ash's jaw dropped. "What the—Leo, I've just found out that my entire life up to this point may have been a lie or a fabrication created by our greatest enemy, my home world was not only completely destroyed but it's _this_ world and there's no way back, and that there's an incredibly dangerous power inside me that could potentially kill you all! What's clichéd about that?!"

"Well, I'm not saying it's not a shock or very traumatic or anything, because it is, what with finding out your family and entire world were wiped out and your whole life could be a fake," Leo apologized. "But…seriously, the amnesiac main hero having a mysterious connection to the main villain, maybe being _created_ by the main villain and no longer certain how much of his identity is real and how much is fake, and possibly being capable of destroying the world? That's the backstory for more anime and video game protagonists than you can shake a stick at. Cumulonimbus from Last Legend VII, Shade the Shaymin from Sonic the Shaymin, Lucas from Tales of Abyssia….it's been done to death. Next you're gonna tell us Oblivion's Shadow is your father, too?"

"No, he denied that, actually," Briney said.

Leo blinked. "Oh, really? Well, that's one point in his favor for originality, then. With his getup I thought it was inevitable that he was going to turn out to be Ash's dad. What, did he run out of ideas for costumes so decided to mix the classic Sith Lord look with Arbok Commander from G.I. Jake?" Ash's eye twitched. Tiny sucked his pacifier.

Pikachu wrenched his head away from the ninja's lips, gasping for air. "Okay, Briney and Leo, I hate you guys. Ash, what was that I just heard about you and Oblivion's Shadow?!" He frowned. "And did Briney say you _killed_ Darkrai and Cresselia, too?!"

"It's…its kind of complicated," Ash said uneasily. "I'm not sure I completely understand it myself. I'm still trying to process it all and figure out what all of it means. I think I may be on the verge of an emotional meltdown, what with my entire identity being brought into question, numerous things I thought to be true about my past getting disproven, and whether I'm really good or evil deep down being called into doubt."

"And you killed a pair of gods who didn't deserve it," Lily said.

"Five, actually. He also killed Moltres, Zapdos, and Articuno. But those three had it coming, so that's all right," Briney corrected.

"Wow. You were pretty badass back then, weren't you?" Leo asked, impressed.

"I…look, I don't really want to think or talk about this right now. We don't have time. I can crash later, but right now we need to purify the ninja," Ash said, walking towards Pikachu and the Buneary.

"Are you sure you're in a condition to do so, given what just happened?" Pikachu asked.

"I'm not sure," Ash admitted. "But…but I can't let whatever's going on with me interfere with my duty as an Aura Guardian. As my book says, 'what's personal isn't important.' So…so let's do this. Let's open her heart and cure her of being a Shadow Pokemon." He glanced at Leo. "Leo, did you disarm the bomb?"

Leo blinked. "The bomb? Oh crap, I almost forgot about that!" He pulled out his transmitter and started fiddling with it.

"You forgot?! Leo, I'm right on top of her—and don't you _dare_ make any sexual cracks about that, or I will gut you. If she blows, I die too!" Pikachu yelled anxiously. "And don't make any sexual cracks about that either!"

"I'll try _long and hard_ to control myself…but you realize that if she explodes, your body will probably take the brunt of the blast, saving us all," Leo pointed out as he continued recalibrating the device. "Isn't going out in a glorious blaze of heroic self-sacrifice the sort of thing you samurais live—or rather, die—for?"

"While dying to save my friends is honorable, yes, I'd like to live long enough to get a family and a name of my own before I do that!" Pikachu snapped. "Hurry it up already!"

"Hey, this is an incredibly delicate piece of equipment, you can't rush me!" Leo replied.

"Should I set him on fire?" Lily asked. "It seemed to be an effective incentive for Tiny." Tiny sucked his pacifier in agreement.

"Could work," Briney acknowledged.

Leo yelped and started tinkering faster. "Ack! Okay, okay, just a sec…there! I've disarmed the bomb. Ash, it's all you!"

"Should I get off?" Pikachu asked as Ash got into position.

Ash shook his head. "No, you shouldn't be in the way. Besides, if you get off her, she might escape—or go back to trying to kill us again—and we'd need to start all over again. Let's get this taken care of now, before anything else happens." _Or before I start breaking down, _he thought to himself. Shoving his looming fears and doubts and uncertainties and questions about the past into a dark corner of his mind to save for later, Ash closed his eyes and clasped his paws together, Aura glowing and his sensory organs rising up behind his head. He focused on the Buneary's Aura, a raging vortex of blackness struggling weakly beneath the brilliant shard of lightning that was Pikachu's Aura. He stared into the Shadows, looking for the tiniest shred of light, the last sliver of the ninja's true self that his book had assured him was almost always present in a Shadow Pokemon, no matter how tightly the door to their heart was locked.

There it was. The light in the darkness. It was small and weak and looked as if it could go out at any minute…but it was still there, which meant he could still save the ninja. His eyes shot open, glowing with the power of Aura. "Transcend…" he whispered. "The boundaries of time and space!" His Aura flared, sending out a gust of wind, and a glowing blue image of himself projected out from his body and shot into the ninja's, causing her eyes to widen and her body to stiffen as blue fire engulfed her body…

As well as Pikachu's. "Ash! What's going on?! I thought you said I wouldn't be in the-" The samurai trailed off as his pupils shrank and Aura enveloped him too.

"Was that supposed to happen?" Lily asked.

"I…don't think so, no…" Leo said. He gasped, seeing Tiny was running towards Ash. "Ack! No, Tiny! Don't touch him! There's no telling what'll happen!" He rushed after the Larvitar, grabbing him…only milliseconds after Tiny grabbed Ash's leg. "Aw, crap," the Squirtle said as blue fire rushed up his arms.

"Leo!" Lily cried. She reached out with her hair to grab the Squirtle…only for the Aura to flow up her tendrils. "I could probably have planned that better."

Briney nodded. "Definitely."

The blue fire consumed Lily, freezing her in place just like everyone else. Briney stared at the bizarre glowing tableau before him, sighed, and shook his head. "Crazy youngsters. Not a lick of common sense among them," he grumbled. "Oh well, I'm sure they'll be all right. Hmm?" He turned around, sensing something approaching. _Several_ somethings. One by one, a pair of glowing eyes appeared at the edge of the melting snowfield, the rain darkening their figures and making it hard to see them. Each pair was joined by another pair, and another, and another, until there had to be at least fifty or sixty groups of eyes staring at Briney and the petrified Team Aurabolt.

Briney growled. "So…you Treasure Towners decided to wait until the fighting was over to pick up the leavings and maybe have revenge for all the property that got destroyed in the battle, did you? Fair enough for a lot of scavengers and thieving scum like yourself. You're entitled to your vengeance. I respect that. But…" He grinned cruelly. "If you think you can take advantage of us just because I'm the last one standing, you have another thing coming. It's been a long night, but if it's a battle you're wanting, then I'll be more than happy to oblige. So…" He punched his fists together, creating a metallic thunderclap. "COME ON, THEN! IF YOU THINK YOU'RE HARD ENOUGH!"

They came, all right. Screaming, the maddened and homeless denizens of Treasure Town rushed towards Briney. The Metang roared and charged out to meet them, more than willing to show the scavengers why you didn't mess with Captain Briney or his crew.

…

Meanwhile, in Treasure Town…

The barbarian party stood just past the moat, about two or three dozen mangy-looking monkey and Fire-type Pokemon, some mounted and others on foot, clad in worn leather and plate armor carrying torches and flame-shaped standards bearing the emblem of the Monkey King, a burning monkey's paw. They were surrounding a cart hitched to an Arcanine, its contents concealed by a tarp woven from the stitched-together scalps of dozens of slaves, many of which had not been dead prior to the mutilation. The leader of the group, naturally the biggest and meanest-looking of the bunch, an immense Slakoth with the customary necklace of baby skulls, teeth, and eyeballs, stepped forward and bellowed forth a challenge: "MEWLING WURMPLE OF POKEMON SQUARE! COME OUT FROM BEHIND YOUR COWARDLY WALLS AND FACE US!"

"No," Raiki yelled from on top of the walls, where at least half the town had gathered, both to defend Pokemon Square and see if anything interesting was going to happen.

The Slaking blinked. "No? What do you mean, no?! Does the prospect of your impending demise terrify you so much you cannot even bear to face us, a mere group of couriers sent by the Monkey King to make his will known to you mongrels?"

"No, it's just that we dinnae really see the point in coming out to engage ye at all since: one, we can talk pretty well from up here; two, we have the higher ground so can easily wipe ye out with ranged fire; three, we're protected from any counterattack by our famous impenetrable shield; four, we outnumber you; and five, we have a giant flying palace hovering over our town with hundreds of very powerful Ghost and Dragon soldiers inside and quite a few concealed Ghosts and Dragons in the fields surrounding ye, all of whom would be perfectly happy to wipe ye off the face of the earth if ye so much as fart the wrong way," Scotty said cheerfully. The Slaking blinked, losing some of his bluster. The barbarians looked around anxiously, trying to spot the hidden warriors.

Nervously, a Monferno on Rapidash-back, Scout Leader Ignik Firebottom (who had been demoted again after the debacle at Mt. Chill), eased his steed forward. "We did not come here to fight," he said, praying that he wasn't about to get vaporized by a Hyper Beam. "We wish to parley-"

The Slaking whirled around and clotheslined Ignik off the horse, causing the Rapidash to whinny in alarm and jump away, nearly trampling over the fallen Monferno in the process. "Silence, maggot! No one wishes to hear the words of a coward like yourself, who cowered and hid while your betters were wiped out by an army of Lucario!"

Aaron raised an eyebrow and Raiki gave him an amused look. "An army, huh?"

"Well, you _are_ a one-mon army, so that's not completely wrong," Latios said zealously.

Matthias was quivering with barely contained rage. "What's wrong, Matthias?" Pichu asked his newest brother in concern.

"That Monferno down there on the ground…he's the one who led the attack on my home…who captured and killed my family, and chased me halfway across the continent!" the Rattata snarled.

Pichu and the other kids looked down at Ignik, who was whimpering and crawling away from the raging Snorlax, wiping blood from his mouth. "Funny, I thought he'd be bigger," Collette commented.

"Maybe that's why he's always riding something, he thinks it makes him look taller and more intimidating," Sapphire suggested.

"Typical bully. He's only a tough guy when he's got someone weaker than him to push around," Pichu said dismissively. "The rest of the time, he's just another coward."

Aaron took a step forward, banging the end of his staff on the ramparts. "You wish to parley with us? What could you possibly have to say that might interest us? Unless the Monkey King has realized the foolishness of his mad plans for conquest and wishes to surrender and release all the lands and Pokemon he's seized?"

"I hope he hasn't, that means I'll get to kill something," Nuken said eagerly.

"Aren't you weak against Fire?" Father Yamiri asked the Shedinja.

"Very much so…but they have to hit me first," Nuken said.

Rayquaza nodded. "There's a reason his species is called Shed_inja_."

The Slaking laughed. "Surrender? To weaklings like you?!"

"You mean weaklings who've managed to gain the aid of one of the most powerful countries in the world and summoned a living god to help them?" Latias asked sweetly.

"What of it? We have allies far stronger than the Draconians, and a god of our own who shall lead us to glory! Your dragons do not scare us!" the Slaking roared, apparently unaware that the rest of the barbarians were slowly backing away from him so they wouldn't get hit by any Hyper Beams, Draco Meteors, Dragon Pulses, or other attacks from the Dragons hiding all around them should they lose their patience and decide to roast their commander for his impudence and loose tongue.

"Then what is it you have to say that we could possibly care to hear?" Aaron asked.

The Slaking sneered. "Why not come down and see for yourself, cripple? Oh wait, except that you _can't_, can you?" He laughed. The other barbarians joined in nervously. Ignik moaned and put his face in his hands. _We are so dead._

Everyone looked to Aaron, wondering what he was going to do next. The Lucario smiled…and only those who knew him very well would recognize the way his mouth curved as a sign that the barbarians were in very deep shit. "Very well." He handed his staff to Raiki. "Hold this, please. I won't need it."

_Aaron, you know what you're doing, right?_ Sabrina asked him telepathically.

_Don't let them get to you,_ Latias said.

_Don't worry,_ Aaron said. _I won't. I know what we talked about before they got here. I know what I have to do._ Aura formed around his feet and he jumped off the wall, gently gliding through the air and landing before the Slaking on the other side of the moat. "Well? I'm here. What did you want to talk to me about?"

The Slaking blinked, startled…then snarled, refusing to let a blind mon get the best of him. "You were half-right about our reason for coming. It's to ask for _your_ surrender."

Aaron stared at him for a long moment. "Is that so?" he asked finally.

"The Monkey King has decided, in his infinite _mercy_," the Slaking said, the unfamiliar word sounding like a curse in his mouth. "That if you dismantle your walls, tear down your homes, burn all that remains, give us your womon for concubines, and submit to our sovereign's authority, you will live."

"As slaves," Aaron said.

"But of course. What else would mongrels like yourselves, who suckle from the breasts of 'technology' and 'civilization' like overgrown babes be good for?" the Slaking sneered. "But better to live as a slave than die a coward, is it not?"

"No," Aaron said, crossing his arms. "It's better not to die at all. But if you must die, then at least let it be with honor and on your own terms. Know that none in this town will ever allow themselves a coward's death, however. I do not even need to consult with the Mayor or with the rest of Pokemon Square, I already know their decision in this matter. Our will is unanimous: we will never accept your terms. Pokemon Square has stood for a thousand years and repelled armies and barbarian lords far stronger than your self-styled King. We have never submitted to any authority but our own, and that will not change even if the Ruler of Evil itself stormed our gates with all the legions of the Abyss. We will never surrender. This is our town!" The Pokemon up on the walls cheered.

"Then you will die!" the Slaking growled. "We will smash down your vaunted shield and demolish your walls. We will burn down your homes. We will befoul and destroy this land so nothing will ever grow here again. We shall rape your womon and eat and enslave your children. We shall kill you and feast upon your flesh so that we may become stronger! This continent has no place for your 'town,' and we will wipe you off the face of Kanjohenn so that the proper balance of nature shall be restored once again!" The barbarians cheered, but not too loudly, for fear that the dragons would kill them.

Aaron scoffed. "Balance of nature? Please, if anyone's disrupting it, it's you and your King, for allying with the enemies of the planet. Your vulgar prophecy will never come to pass. Even if our shields do fail, we have the aid of the Draconian Empire and house some of the finest warriors this world has ever seen. Even with your superior numbers and the backing of your evil masters, you will never break our spirit."

The Slaking grinned and nodded to the monkeys surrounding the cart. This had been exactly what he had been waiting to hear. "Oh really? Will they still feel that way once they see _this?"_ The barbarians dramatically pulled off the tarp.

The Slaking waited expectantly. Everyone stared at the cart. "I don't see anything," Aaron said finally.

The Slaking laughed. "Well of course you don't see anything, you're blind!"

"There's that, and there's also the fact that there's nothing in the cart," Aaron said.

The Slaking blinked. "Huh?" He turned around…and was astonished to see that the cart was indeed empty. "What…what the…where did they go?!" he cried at the other monkeys, who shrugged and exchanged confused looks.

"Are you looking for these?" Latias asked as she shimmered back into visibility, holding the objects she had taken from the cart when nobody was looking. In one claw she held a pair of torn Charizard wings, and in the other…was a desiccated Alakazam head on a stick, the top of its skull cut off and empty, its face frozen in a rictus of agony.

The Slaking started, but quickly recovered, though he wondered why nobody on the wall seemed surprised to see the body parts. "Y-yes! They are the proof of our victory! They are a mark of our triumph over your so-called indomitable spirit! They are-"

"The remains of Team A.C.T., which you carted all the way here to try and demoralize us and give into despair," Raiki said coolly.

"Which you brought to try and convince us that they were all dead, which is far from the case," Yamiri said.

"Only Allen the Alakazam is dead, and he lasted longer than you expected, surviving weeks of torture even after you'd already extracted all his knowledge through Psychic means so you finally beheaded him and ate his brains, ignorantly thinking they would make you smarter," Sabrina said sadly.

"Charlie the Charizard is still alive, even though ye tore out his wings and tortured him mercilessly, and now spends his days as a half-crazed mindless beast chained up in the Monkey King's throne room, where he suffers daily abuse and starvation…and even so, has yet tae be tamed, and still retains enough of his sanity tae make constant attempts on the King's life, some of which were only very narrowly thwarted. Bless his fiery soul," Scotty said, tearing up.

"And as for T-Bone the Tyranitar…it was only because of him that you were able to do any of this in the first place," Chuck said gravely. "For whatever reason, he turned on his team, betraying them when they needed him most and delivering them into the clutches of the Monkey King. He lives still…but not for much longer, if we have anything to say about it. He will pay for his treachery."

"As will you all," Nuken said sinisterly.

"…Oh shit," Ignik whimpered.

"I…I don't understand," the Slaking stammered. "How did…how did you know…"

"We knew you were coming when you were still fifteen minutes away. We knew what you brought with you. We even knew what you were planning to do with them," Latios said, voice thick with ice.

"That's the power of _our_ god," Rayquaza said, proudly looking at Latias.

"We knew how you thought that by parading Allen's head, Charlie's wings, and T-Bone's betrayal before us, you would somehow convince us that since you defeated this town's greatest heroes and convinced one of them to turn his back on us, that we were no match for your strength, and would either give in at once or at least put up a much weaker fight due to the grief from our loss," Raiki said.

"And you thought wrong," Sabrina said.

"Did ye think this would accomplish anything? Did ye think we were such cowards we'd give in just like that?!" Scotty asked angrily. "Did ye think that we wouldn't be incensed by this…and decide to seek _yer_ destruction instead?!" The other townsPokemon shouted in agreement, and began yelling curses and insults and death threats at the barbarians.

The Slaking started. "Wh-what?!" This was not how it was supposed to go. They were supposed to be disheartened by this evidence of their doom, not enraged! Every other town he had been to, every other town where they had done this same trick, the weakling Pokemon had been shocked and horrified upon seeing the mutilated remains of their greatest heroes. But the people of Pokemon Square…they were angry. Furious. Bloodthirsty. Civilized Pokemon weren't supposed to be like that! They were supposed to be soft from living under a roof and getting meals they didn't have to hunt and kill for themselves and having indoor plumbing and technology that made their lives easier! Where was this resolve coming from? What was the source of their strength, to make them speak with one voice, and such a loud one at that? "I don't…I don't understand…"

"We are so dead," Ignik wailed pathetically.

"Now it is time we issued our own ultimatum," Aaron said, fixing the Slaking with a piercing stare, not seeming particularly bothered by his blindness or the fact that his eyes were hidden behind a blindfold. "But this isn't a threat so much as a promise. You came here telling us that if we did not surrender, you would utterly destroy us. I make the same claim to you…except we're not going to bother waiting for a surrender, since we know your King is too prideful and stupid to issue one. So listen carefully, as I explain what your near future is going to be like.

"We will smash down your own barrier and storm your volcano lair. We will rout you from your homes in the caves and the dark. We will drive you from the land so that you plague it no longer. Along with your prisoners and slaves and our comrade Charlie, we shall take your womon from your breeding pits and your children from their training camps, since they will be better off in our hands than yours and may learn the ways of honor, freedom, and peace. We shall kill your king and the traitor and anyone else who aids them, and break your army so severely that whatever remains will be so terrified of our retribution that they will never show their faces or harm anymore innocent Pokemon again! This continent has no place for your outdated brand of barbarism and savagery, and we will wipe you off the face of Kanjohenn so that peace may be restored and Pokemon no longer have to live in fear of your kind!"

"N-no…" the Slaking gasped, staggering backwards from the Lucario, who suddenly seemed so much _bigger_ than he had a second ago. "This…this is madness!"

Aaron paused and glanced at Latias. She nodded. The Lucario grinned mercilessly. "Madness?" With a roar, he delivered a kick to the Slaking's gut, causing him to double over in pain. "THIS!" He hit the Slaking with a powerful uppercut, shattering his jaw and flinging the ape into the air. "IS!" He rocketed off the ground with a blast of Aura, rising above the Slaking. He clenched his paws together, gathering power. "POKEMON SQUARE!" He slammed his fists into the Slaking, creating an explosion of Aura and flinging the sloth/monkey back to the ground hard enough to crater it and shatter most of the bones in his body.

The other barbarians looked on in horror, and the Pokemon on the walls cheered as Aaron landed on the Slaking's chest, causing the prostrate ape to gasp in pain. "That was so badass!" Misty's sisters squealed.

"I know, right?!" Latios agreed. He and Aaron's other fangirls shrieked gleefully.

The Lucario glanced over his shoulder at Sabrina. "Sabrina!"

The Xatu nodded and made a slashing motion with one wing. There was a loud crack, and the Slaking's head fell back at an odd angle, eyes wide and unstaring. "That's right," she said, when the terrified barbarians looked at her. "I can break necks with my mind."

Aaron reached down and grabbed the Slaking's head by the fur on top of his pate and wrenched, ripping his head off his shoulders and sending blood splattering everywhere. The Lucario tossed the head at Ignik, bowling him over since it was almost half as big as the Monferno. "Take this to your King, and tell him we're coming for him and for the traitor T-Bone, and will take their heads as well as free our imprisoned comrade!" Aaron snarled. "We will hide behind our walls no longer. Pokemon Square…goes to WAR!"

"YEAAAAHHHH!" the Pokemon on the walls shouted.

"WAAAAAAR!" Nuken cried joyfully, much to Rayquaza's bemusement. The dragons in the fields reared back their heads and roared as the Ghosts hiding in plan sight manifested, cackling malevolently and causing the barbarians to scream and defecate themselves in fright.

"POKEMON SQUARE! POKEMON SQUARE! POKEMON SQUARE! POKEMON SQUARE!" the townsPokemon chanted as Aaron threw back his arms and howled, and Latias nodded approvingly.

As Ignik Firebottom, trying not to drop his former commanding officer's head, looked on at all the faces staring down at him with hatred and righteous fury--including the visage of Matthias Shorttail, his features so twisted in rage that he was almost unrecognizable--a sudden chilling realization crept over him. In a flash of insight, he understood what the Slaking had not: the source of Pokemon Square's strength.

All the other towns and cities in Kanjohenn had had standing armies or their own cadres of Rescue Teams, but ultimately the majority of the inhabitants had not been fighters, allowing their military and heroes to do the battling for them. That was not the case with Pokemon Square. Everyone in the town was trained from birth in the way of the warrior. Everyone in the town was a member of a team or a powerful fighter in their own right. Everyone in town thought nothing of risking their lives not only to protect their friends and family and neighbors, but people they'd never met before. That was why Rescue Teams consisting of two to six Pokemon had been able to decimate vast groups of barbarians and conquer the toughest dungeons, why they had even been able to defeat legendary Pokemon and monsters capable of destroying the world. They were born-and-bred fighters, much like the barbarians…but unlike the barbarians, who fought to claim land and take power in accordance with what they perceived to be the laws and will of nature, the people of Pokemon Square fought to protect, honoring no law but that of their own making, especially not the law of the wild. They refused to let fear govern them, so the concept of giving up never even occurred to them. Even if the barbarian armies came crashing down on Pokemon Square with superior numbers and firepower and the might of their own god and their mysterious backer…even if they managed to win, how many of them would the townspeople kill before being finally silenced? How many on either side would remain, once all the fighting was over?

A treasonous thought started worming its way into his brain. Was it possible that his brother had been right? Was it possible that Pokemon Square could actually _win?_

"Th-this isn't over," he stammered, juggling the head as he tried to pull himself back onto his steed. The horse just gave him a look and shook him off. He groaned as the Slaking head landed on his chest, forcing the breath from his lungs. This really wasn't his day. In fact, it hadn't been his day for what seemed like a while now, ever since Team Aurabolt had humiliated him and saved Matthias Shorttail from him…and the Rattata was up there on the wall with the others, screaming for his blood. When--no, _if_, not when, there was no way they could break into Mt. Blaze…right?—Pokemon Square came to their fortress, would Matthias be there as well? Would he tear out Ignik's throat with his fangs for what the Monferno had done to his family? The thought really did not appeal to him.

Aaron smiled ghoulishly. "You're right," the Lucario said. "It's not." Ignik shuddered.

"I think," Latias said quietly. "That you should go now." She smiled too…and for some reason, the kind, gentle, almost forgiving and apologetic look on her face scared him more than Aaron's grin or the roars for carnage from the townspeople did. He nodded timidly and walked away. One by one, the rest of the barbarians followed him, the people of Pokemon Square hurling jeers and insults and pieces of garbage after them.

"You know," Wes commented to Rui, having to shout to be heard over the racket. "I think I like it here. Want to settle down for good when this is all over?"

"Would I!" Rui said excitedly. She made a face and glared at Misty's sisters and Latios, who were still gushing over how awesome Aaron had been. "Of course, it'll mean having to live near _those_ bimbos…but I suppose no place can be perfect, right?"

"No, but it can be pretty damn close," Wes agreed.

Wes and Rui were not the only visitors to feel this way. "I think I am in love," Zoro announced to Rosa.

"Should I be jealous?" the Roserade joked.

"_De nada_, it is not like that! This town's spirit…its people, its _corazon_…are so vibrant, so strong!" Zoro said. "We must strive to make our home like this as well!"

"We will, one day," Rosa promised. She smiled and leaned against him. "And if we do not…then I am sure our children will."

_So, how did I do?_ Aaron thought to Latias as he started walking back towards the town gates, the bridge already extending for him.

_Very good. I'm pleased you were able to keep your cool. I know how much you're hurting, deep down,_ Latias said.

_Allen was one of my best friends,_ Aaron thought angrily. _I'm saving my temper for the Monkey King…and for T-Bone. I don't know why he chose to turn on us…but I swear, I will make him regret it if it's the last thing I ever do._

_I hope it isn't, _Latias replied. _Pokemon Square needs you, Aaron. Now more than ever._

_I know,_ he said. _And I will serve this town like I always have. I will rescue Charlie. I will make T-Bone pay. I will avenge Allen…and I will kill the Monkey King!_

…

Meanwhile, in Almiore…

The not-quite-heroes and their driver/handler sailed their ship up the Puel River towards the city of Pueltown. They were only an hour or so away from their destination, and already the water was thick with passenger and commercial vessels transporting people and goods to and from Pueltown and the smaller towns and villages lining the riverbanks. The water was smoother in the river than it was out at sea, so Mary's stomach had calmed down considerably and she was able to join Gary and Evan in gazing at the scenery and the passing vessels, even if the wakes from some of the larger ships rocked their boat and turned her face a bit green. "Not a bad view," she commented as a picturesque Gyarados-shaped cruiser passed by, some of the people on deck waving at them, taking pictures, or making faces. The latter soon stopped this when Evan spat Acid at them.

"Yeah," Gary agreed.

"I'm bored. When are we gonna get there?" Evan complained.

"It's not much further," Maren reported from the steering wheel. "Just a few dozen miles to go. And when we get there, we can start looking for the next Compass piece." She frowned. "And maybe figure out what happened to the Mirage Kingdom soldiers that got sent here. The big city can be tough, but it's not _that_ dangerous, not like Summerland was what with the racing fever that got the soldiers who went there put in the hospital with full-body casts due to accidentally badmouthing the wrong racing team in a bar."

"Sports can bring out the worst in people," Gary said.

"Yeah, which isss why we had to get out of dodge before we got lynched thanksss to Mary'sss ssstunt," Evan hissed.

Mary sighed wearily. "I _said_ I was sorry."

"I know. Now you know how I felt all the way to Chicole Town," Evan said. "At leassst Gary didn't tie _you_ to a pole."

"They're probably all right," Gary said. "Though by 'all right' I mean they might have gotten mugged, lost all their money, and are now living on the streets, too embarrassed to call home and explain what happened, which is still better than being dead. Probably."

"Unlesss they got eaten by sssewer Feraligatrsss," Evan suggested.

"They would never have allowed that to happen," Maren said defensively. "Mirage Kingdom soldiers are some of the best on the continent. They would've been able to handle a bunch of thugs."

"Aren't mossst of your sssoldiersss relatively helplesss Egg-like Pokemon, which isss why you had to recruit outsssidersss like usss in the firssst placcce?" Evan asked.

"We only _look_ helpless. We're a lot stronger than we look," Maren insisted.

"And yet you sssettled for usss," Evan said.

"We were hoping for Team Aurabolt. You were…well…not quite what we expected," Maren said tactfully.

"Heh, that's an understatement," Gary chuckled.

"So you sent out a request to Team Aurabolt because since your…ah, highly-trained soldiers…disappeared, a team that saved the world and conquered a few high-level dungeons might be able to do a better job?" Mary asked.

"Pretty much, yeah," Maren said. "Though we may have embellished the danger a little in the letter we sent to convince them to help us, we were still confident that they might be able to succeed where we had failed."

"Heh, you guysss mussst have been really disssappointed when we ssshowed up inssstead," Evan said.

Gary frowned. "Well, they won't be disappointed for much longer. Like I said when we left Olive Jungle…from now on we're going to try harder to be a real Rescue Team like Team Aurabolt and A.C.T., not a bunch of comic screw-ups. That's why, when we collect the last few Compass pieces—through _completely_ legitimate means, unless there's no other option—we're going to take down the Berry King, rescue the Princess, and prove ourselves as true heroes!"

"Or die horribly," Evan said pessimistically. Gary smacked him.

Mary frowned. "The Berry King…speaking of that guy, Maren, I was wondering if you could answer a few questions about him."

Maren glanced at him. "Oh?"

"We know he's the guy who kidnapped Princess Sara and he wants to marry her or something, his henchmon are called the 'Poffin Mon,' and he _possibly_ wants the Magnificent Compass," Mary said. "Though the fact that we haven't run into him or any of his minions at the places where the Compass pieces we've found so far were is odd…"

"That and nobody knows where his hideout is," Gary added.

"What'sss with that, anyway? Isssn't he a king? How can you not know where a guy like that livesss?" Evan asked.

"I assumed he was just an overgrown bandit or something and called himself 'King' because he was full of himself or wanted to sound intimidating," Gary said. He frowned. "Though why he'd call himself the _Berry_ King, then, is something I'd like to know…"

"As would I," Mary said. "We know our enemy is the Berry King, but I don't think anyone's actually _told_ us anything about him. Just who is he, Maren?"

"That's a good question," Maren said. "I'm surprised they didn't brief you about this before your left the kingdom. Gary, you made a good guess, but no, the Berry King isn't a bandit or barbarian or something like that. He's a real king, with a country of his own."

"Then why aren't we heading ssstraight there rather than futzzzing about all over Almiore?" Evan asked.

"Because nobody knows where it is!" Maren said.

They blinked. "…How can you not know where a country is?" Gary asked. "I thought all of Almiore had been explored. You've got big maps and everything. What, did you miss a spot or something?"

"Maybe it'sss hidden underground? A sssubterranean cccivilizzzation?" Evan suggested.

"No, it has to be either in Pueltown, Chroma Ruins, or Altru Tower, since that's where the remaining Compass pieces are," Mary said. "And it can't be Pueltown, since otherwise everyone would know about it, wouldn't they?"

"Not if it were _beneath_ the cccity," Evan persisted.

"Or maybe his 'kingdom' is actually a gang or something? Or some sort of crime ring?" Gary offered. "You could call those 'countries,' just ones without borders."

Maren shook her head. "No, like I said, he's got a kingdom of his own, sort of like the Mirage Kingdom. But nobody knows where it is because it's hidden by magic!"

They gave her a confused look. "Magic?" Mary asked.

"What do you mean?" asked Evan.

"Well, the thing is…" Maren hesitated. "To be honest, up until Princess Sara's abduction, the Berry King was thought to be just a Clefairytale. The mythical ruler of an enchanted land that didn't really exist. But then his Poffin Mon abducted the Princess, and we knew for a fact that he was more than just a story…"

"Interesting…you thought he was just a legend until now?" Gary murmured.

"Legends have a habit of coming true," Mary said.

Evan nodded. "Yeah, jussst look at the legendary Pokemon! Nobody callsss them make-believe! Well, exxxcccept for sssome atheissstsss and ssskepticsss."

"Tell us about this legend," Gary said.

Maren nodded. "Sure thing. Long ago, soon after the world's rebirth following the great cataclysm, Almiore was a very dark place. Chaos and anarchy were everywhere, and barbarians and monsters rampaged unstopped across the continent, making life hellish for the Pokemon too weak to defend themselves. The Holy Mother Mew took pity upon our land and descended from the Celestial Heavens to save us. She selected a young Pokemon who had been orphaned by raiders and raised him from infancy, teaching him about honor, duty, justice, the difference between right and wrong…that sort of thing, trying to make him into a paragon of virtue. A champion. A hero…which is just what the people of Almiore needed. He conquered and united the various feuding clans and tribes and created a mighty nation that rid Almiore of the evils plaguing it and ushered in a new era of peace and prosperity. It was so prosperous, in fact, that Berry trees were able to grow everywhere, no matter what the climate or time of year, so that nobody ever had to go hungry again and turn to violence to feed themselves. He was dubbed 'the Berry King' in light of this miracle, and his mightiest warriors called themselves 'Poffin Mon,' symbolic of how just as poffin and other snacks are made from berries, they were formed and trained by the Berry King, and owed everything they were to him."

"Oh…so that's why they're called that," Gary said.

"Ssstill a ssstupid name," Evan said.

"All stories involving golden ages end badly. What happened? The people became greedy and tried to take the Berry King's power for themselves?" Mary asked.

"Actually, no. Everyone loved the Berry King. Thanks to Mew's teachings, he established an almost utopian society, where the strong existed to defend the weak, not control them. Duty and justice seemed to be ingrained into those who ruled the land, so that none ever had to fear they would be incompetent or abuse their power," Maren said. "The Mirage Kingdom has to a large extent tried to model itself after the ideal presented by the Berry King, which is a big part of why we are such a wealthy nation and pretty much everyone is happy and content and nobody goes wanting for anything."

"I cccertainly wouldn't want for anything if I lived in one of the fancccy housssesss I sssaw back in your capital cccity," Evan said. He sighed. "Maybe with a cccertain two-headed womon to keep me company…"

"But this King isn't around now…or rather, he is around, but not ruling all of Almiore, and everyone thought he was just a myth until now," Gary said. "So what happened?"

"That part nobody's really sure of," Maren admitted. "There's lots of stories about why the Berry King vanished from Almiore. Some think he angered the gods and was banished. Some think he grew disgusted with his people for some reason and abandoned them. Others think he was somehow transported to another dimension. Either way, he disappeared, and the heart of his kingdom vanished with him...until it was barely even a memory, and nobody was sure where he had ruled from, or if he had even been a real person. The Berry trees withered, and Almiore became what it is now: not an abysmal wasteland, but not a glorious paradise either, just a continent like any other. The tale of the Berry King faded from history and became legend."

"Until now, when he mysteriously resurfaced," Mary said.

"Or at least, some guy calling himself the Berry King has, anyway," Gary said.

"If the Berry King wasss sssuch a good guy, then why'd he kidnap Princesss Sssara?" Evan asked.

"We don't know," Maren said. "We were able to take a few of the Poffin Mon into custody when Sara was abducted, but they've refused to spill their secrets no matter _what_ we do to them. Even Psychic interrogators have been unable to crack into their minds. Their devotion to their master is so great that they seem to be completely incapable of betraying him, consciously or unconsciously."

"Wow…he must be one hell of a guy to have gained that kind of loyalty," Gary commented, impressed.

"Or maybe it'sss fear. Or sssome kind of ssspell," Evan hissed. "Paragonsss of virtue don't go around kidnapping people and ssstealing magical artifactsss. Well…okay, they don't kidnap people, anyway. Well, all right, they do _sssometimesss_, but…er, I'll jussst ssshut up now."

"Do we at least know what kind of Pokemon the Berry King is? Or was?" Gary asked.

Maren shook her head. "There are as many variations on the King's identity as there are stories for why he disappeared. More than a few people have claimed they were descended from the Berry King and tried to use it as legitimacy to rule some territory, if not all of Almiore. That rarely ends well. The one thing we know for certain is that he's _not_ a Grass-type…which is kind of odd, since what with the berry motif and all you'd assume he was one, but that's the one detail everyone agrees on, that he wasn't."

"Well, what kinds of Pokemon were among the Poffin Mon who kidnapped the princess?" Mary asked. "That may give us some idea of what to expect from the Berry King when we eventually run into him."

"A varied bunch. There were a couple of Gallades and Gardevoir, some Primeape, Arcanine, an Alakazam, two Gengar, a pawful of Magnetons, some Rhydon and Ampharos, and an Absol," Maren said. "The palace security was able to apprehend a few of them, but like I said, they aren't talking."

"Hmm…yeah, not sure if that tells us anything…" Gary muttered.

"That'sss an awful lot of Pokemon," Evan commented.

"They were very strong, too…the guards were barely able to knock out the few now in the dungeons. And _not_ because they're weak, poorly-trained Egg-like Pokemon either," she said sharply, before anyone could say anything.

"You certainly seem to know a lot about history, government, the military, and what goes on inside the palace walls," an impressed Mary said.

"W-well, there's a reason they picked _me_ to ferry you around Almiore, you know," Maren stammered quickly to try and throw off suspicion. "I'm pretty well respected, and always have an ear to the ground so I know what's going on."

"That's a good trait for a person to have," Mary agreed.

"Except that we still don't know who or what the Berry King is, where he's hiding, and what he's going to do with Sara or the Magnificent Compass," Gary said. "None of what he's done so far sounds much like how you described him in the story."

"Well, it _wasss_ a long time ago," Evan pointed out. "Maybe they got sssome detailsss wrong? And besssidesss, people change. Sssometimesss. Asssuming thisss guy's the real deal and not jussst calling himssself the Berry King to make ussse of the old legend, he may have gotten fed-up with being a goodie-goodie and decccided to be evil inssstead."

Gary frowned. "You think so, huh?" He laughed. "Well, if he can change so much, then maybe we can, too! We'll prove to the world…and to ourselves…that we can be heroes, too! And the first step to getting there is right ahead of us!"

Evan peered out in front of the boat. "I don't sssee anything but a Blassstoissse humping a Floatzzzel in the water. Very erotic—and it makesss me think of my beloved Hisssssssa—but how isss that going to make usss heroes?" He gasped. "Oh! Unlesss…to get the next Compasss piece, we have to become porn ssstarsss? Oooh, I've alwaysss wanted to be in a sssnuff flick!" Everyone facefaulted.

"I was speaking metaphorically, Evan," Gary sighed. "I meant that to become heroes, we need to get to Pueltown and collect the Compass piece there."

"Oh," Evan said, looking disappointed. "Um…and you're sssure that while we're there, we can't-"

"NO, EVAN! WE ARE NOT GOING TO BE IN A PORNO FILM!" Gary shouted.

Maren sweatdropped as the Gengar and Ekans bickered. "How have you not killed them by now, Mary?"

"Gary's a Ghost and Evan's got too much neck to strangle successfully," Mary said. "And I haven't trained enough to know how to blow up people's heads with my mind."

"Oh," Mary said. "Yeah…that would explain it."

The sounds of Gary and Evan arguing on the merits and benefits of being porn stars filling their ears, the little boat continued upriver towards Pueltown, and the Compass piece that awaited them there. What trials would they have to pass to obtain this latest shard of the mystical navigational instrument?

Knowing Team Nightshade…something really stupid.

…

And that's the end of this action-filled chapter. Next time, Team Aurabolt goes inside their ninja friend to see what makes her tick and hopefully change her back to normal…though more than a few bad memories and the Anti-Life Equation will stand in their way.

What do you think of all the startling revelations that were made this chapter? And what do you think Sasha's been up to while the rest of the team was kicking ass?


	40. Darkest before the Dawn

Chapter 39 is going to be a tough act to follow, and one I intend to surpass in the future…but not right now. This chapter is going to be powerful and epic on a different level. For one thing, it's the landmark fortieth chapter of this thing, and not even I know how many more there will be until the end. For another, it represents a more subtle kind of battle…the fight to save a person from within, which can sometimes be more vivid and dramatic than a fight with punches and swords and explosions can ever be. Plus, it's an excuse for lots of metaphysical crap and flashbacks, which are always nice.

So, read on…and at the end of this, Team Aurabolt may just have their final party member, which you probably already anticipated a while ago (as did Leo, but he anticipates everything).

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that isn't mine. Thanks go out to Ryu the Weredragon, Ninetalesuk, and tazkol of the master emeralds for prereading and inspiring me.

…

Lightning tore through the dark sky and snow and hail flew through the air, bombarding the imposing stone fortress built into the side of the frozen mountain with gale-force winds and flurries of ice, trying and failing to claw their way through the castle's formidable defenses and blow through the inner sanctum. Ash, shivering and hugging himself as he trod up towards the fortress's massive gates, hoped he would have an easier time getting inside. "For a mental construct, this place certainly feels pretty real," he muttered to himself.

"Tell me about it," Pikachu chattered, shivering beside him. "This is even colder than the battlefield I fought the ninja in just a minute ago."

"Even colder than the one she fought Paul in," Ash agreed. There was a pause, and then he looked at Pikachu in confusion. "Wait a minute, what are you doing here?!"

"I was hoping you could tell me that," Pikachu said. "When you and the ninja were engulfed in Aura, some of it covered me too. Next thing I know, I'm here. Uh…where _is_ here, anyway?"

"Inside the ninja's heart, sort of," Ash said, mind boggling at his brother's presence. "I can't believe you're really here. My book never said anything about it being possible to take other people inside someone's heart. Are you sure you're the real Pikachu and not just some figment of my imagination, or possibly the ninja's, representing her crush on you?" Pikachu electrified him. "Yep, you're the real deal," Ash coughed.

"We're inside her heart? Her heart is a creepy fortress atop a frozen mountain in the middle of a blizzard? Is that supposed to be symbolic or something?" Pikachu asked, huddling closer to Ash for warmth.

"Um…something like that. The blizzard represents the emotional turmoil and rage caused by being turned into a Shadow Pokemon. The fortress represents the outer layers of her heart, with the door to her heart, her innermost 'self', hidden somewhere inside. The fact that it's taken the form of a fortress says a lot about our ninja friend; how she controls herself and keeps her deepest secrets and feelings secluded from the rest of the world," Ash said. "To reach her core and purify her, we're going to need to enter that fortress and make our way through her most important—and possibly painful—memories."

"Why?" Pikachu asked.

"Those memories form the road to her heart and explain everything about who she is and how she came to be what she is now. By understanding that, we can remind her of who she used to be and help her break free from the chains of Shadow the Nihilator have bound her with," Ash said.

"And maybe learn her name, too," said Leo.

"Yeah, definitely—wait, what are you doing here?!" Ash cried.

"Oh, Tiny tried to touch you for some reason. Then I touched him touching you, and Lily touched me touching him, and now we're all in here together," Leo said, pointing at Tiny and Lily, who were standing nearby. Lily waved. Tiny sucked his pacifier.

"Wonderful…" Pikachu muttered. "Wait, then where's Briney?"

Leo shrugged. "Dunno. Guess he had the common sense not to touch a guy who's covered in glowing blue fire?"

"Yeah, that sounds about right," Pikachu said.

"Has anyone seen my hat?" Lily asked, glancing around. "I've been looking all over the place, but I can't find it. It must have fallen off when we came in here somehow. The wind's certainly strong enough."

"Don't worry, I'll find it with my infrared binoculars," Leo said, reaching into his shell and pulling out…nothing. "Huh?" He pulled his head into his shell. Then he screamed. "HOLY CRAP! SOMEBODY'S STOLEN ALL MY STUFF!"

"Maybe it fell out when we came here?" Lily suggested.

"No way! How could it have slipped out of my shell without me noticing?!" Leo cried.

"It didn't," Ash said. "You aren't actually here. Your body, and all your stuff, is still out in the real world. The you that's here now is a projection of your heart. Same as Lily, Tiny, Pikachu, and me. Since your heart didn't have any of those things, neither do you."

"Oh! So that must be why I don't have my hat and spellbook," said Lily. "I didn't lose it after all, then. That's good to know."

"Wait, but then why does Pikachu still have his sword?" Leo asked.

"My sword has a life—and, in a sense, a heart—of its own. It must have qualified enough to be transported in here just like I was," Pikachu said, touching the handle of his blade.

"Which is why I've got my book, too," Ash said, holding up his faintly glowing copy of _Secrets of an Aura Master._ "It's got so much knowledge about Aura and the wisdom of ancient Aura Guardians imprinted in it that it's also sort of alive. It should be helpful navigating through the complexities of the ninja's heart."

"Okay, I guess that explains why my sunglasses are still on too, since they're so awesome they can't _not_ be alive in a way…but then why does Tiny have his pacifier?" Leo asked, glancing at the Larvitar. "Is it alive too?"

They stared at Tiny for a long moment. "That," Ash said finally. "Is a very good question." Tiny shrugged and sucked on his pacifier.

Pikachu sighed and shivered. "I don't really want to wonder about this right now. Let's get in out of the cold and start trying to save the Buneary. I suppose, since she's a ninja and all, that the fortress will be full of traps and illusions and other things to keep us from getting where we need to be?"

Ash nodded. "Both because she won't want intruders like us to know her secrets and because the Shadow Aura will naturally try and keep us from purifying her. It's already sealed her heart thanks to the Nihilators torturing her and maybe making her believe life's not worth living. As a result, it'll also convince her subconscious to try and stop us from saving her and forcing her to live again."

"Yikes," said Leo.

"It almost sounds like a parasite," Lily marveled. "I didn't know Shadow Aura could be that…sentient?"

"It's not sentient exactly, but since Aura is the power of life itself, it only makes sense that it, too, is sort of alive," Ash said. "And like all living things, it'll try and defend itself if it feels threatened."

"Then we might have a fight on our hands? Good thing I still have my sword," Pikachu said. "It didn't seem to like it. Should come in handy."

"Yeah. But if we play our cards right, we may not have to worry too much about a hazardous journey," Ash said. "According to my book, whenever the door to a Pokemon's heart is sealed, a tiny bit of the 'light' inside seeps out and manifests as a representation of their true self. If we can find that manifestation and convince it we only want to help, it may be willing to guide us to the closed door so that we can start purifying the Buneary. Since a part of the ninja will be leading us, we won't have to worry about all the defenses and safeguards she's put up."

"That's convenient," Leo commented.

"And what does the purification entail?" Lily asked.

"Basically, us reminding her who she really is, pointing out what the Nihilators have done to her, emphasizing that we're here for her…that sort of thing," Ash said. "We can't open her heart directly. Aura can't do that. But we can make her _want_ to reopen it by reminding her of how she used to be…and once that happens, no matter how powerful the Shadow Aura is, it will be expelled from her body for good."

"So…basically we're acting as warrior therapists?" Leo guessed.

"Pretty much, yeah," Ash said.

"Cool! It's a good thing I took that online course on psychiatry, just in case something like this came up!" Leo said eagerly.

"…You thought that you might find yourself within the mind/heart/soul of a tormented Pokemon?" Pikachu asked dubiously.

"Well, duh. Taking a journey to the center of someone's self to heal them of their sorrows and troubled past is something that happens in just about _every_ adventure worth having," Leo said, rolling his eyes. "I was expecting Tiny to be the one it happened to, though, but I guess that'll have to wait for another day." Tiny glared at Leo and sucked his pacifier.

"…Right," Ash said slowly. "Let's, uh, just head for that fortress now, okay? It should be warmer inside."

"Why is warmth a problem?" Lily asked. "We aren't actually here and this place isn't real, which means we shouldn't be affected by the temperature unless we believe we are, should it?" Ash and Pikachu stared at her for a long moment.

"Heh, couldn't have put it better myself," Leo said admiringly. "You're learning, Lily!"

"Wait, so…you're saying we're only cold because we think we are?" Pikachu asked.

"Well, yeah. Why do you think Lily, Tiny, and I are all cool? Er, figuratively speaking, that is," Leo said. Pikachu blinked, noticing that none of the other three trespassers to the ninja's heart seemed to be bothered by the weather at all.

"So it's all in our heads…or rather, our hearts," Ash said, suddenly stopping his shivering by telling himself that he didn't need to. "Should've seen that coming."

"Wait, so…if things here affect us because we believe we do, what happens if we die? Will we die in the real world too?" Pikachu asked.

"What? No, of course not. That's stupid. Why would it possibly work like that?" Ash said, perplexed by the question.

"You'd be surprised, actually," Leo said.

"This world is sort of like a dream…and when you die in a dream, all that happens is you wake up. So if we die here, we get ejected from the ninja's heart and the purification fails," Ash said. "But if we remind ourselves that it's not real and we can't get hurt here if we don't want to be, we should have nothing to worry about."

"Then should we still be worried about those traps you mentioned? If they can't hurt us so long as we believe they can't, what good are they?" Pikachu asked.

"They might not be able to hurt us, but they can still confuse, frighten, or even mislead us," Ash said. "Additionally, knowing something intellectually isn't always the same as knowing it instinctively. So even though you know that, really, you have nothing to worry about, if a giant spiked block comes crashing down on your head at blinding speed, you're more likely to expect instant death than remember that it's harmless."

"Which is why we must seek out the 'light' you mentioned," Lily said. "So she can guide us to the door to her heart."

"Assuming she'll let us…she hasn't been particularly friendly in any of our exchanges, and I wonder how happy she'll feel about us being here, in her hidden sanctum from the rest of the world," Leo said.

"We'll find that out once we find her," Ash said, trudging up the steep slope towards the fortress. "If she's anywhere, it's inside that place."

"Makes sense to me," Pikachu said, falling in line behind Ash. Leo, Lily, and Tiny followed suit.

"I bet Sasha'll be kicking herself for missing out on this once we get back to Sharpedo Cape and tell her everything that happened," Leo commented as the snow billowed all around them and they walked up the mountainside. "It'd probably remind her of home."

"Except that there's no giant fortress back where she lives, and it's not this cold," Ash said. "Or as cold as we thought it was before reminding ourselves it wasn't."

"Wait, didn't the Monkey King's army set up a base near Mt. Freeze not too far from Sasha's territory in the Frosty Forest?" Pikachu asked.

"Yeah, until Aaron demolished it," Ash reminded him. "So, like I said, no fortress."

"True," Pikachu said. "Actually, I'm not sure how she'd feel about this. It might remind her how she had to leave her mate and kids to come and help us. I'm still amazed she voluntarily left her home and traveled halfway across the world to find us…that must have been one heck of a disaster-warning she got to have convinced her to come this far."

"It wouldn't be the first time. She had a similar vibe that told her to help us reach Mt. Freeze and talk to Krysta to clear my name, didn't she?" Ash pointed out.

"We owe a lot to Sasha. She's a very reliable Pokemon," Pikachu agreed. "I kind of feel bad we had to leave her back with Oak and Tracey. She probably would have been a big help during the fight."

"Or she might have been crippled by the big crowd and overwhelming evil of the town," Leo said. "Being able to sense disasters may be cool, but it has a major downside, huh?"

"You think that sort of power is cool?" Pikachu asked skeptically.

"I think lots of things are cool," Leo said, which was true.

"I wonder what she's up to now?" Lily wondered.

…

Meanwhile, back at Sharpedo Cape…

"This," Professor Oak said, tapping a large picture of an Aron. "Is an Aron."

"That it is," Sasha agreed.

"This," Oak said, tapping the word 'Aron,' which he had written on a chalkboard. "Is also an Aron."

Sasha frowned. "No, that is what you call 'writing.'"

"That it is," Oak agreed. "But it's writing which shows the name of the Pokemon, in this case, Aron. This is what your name looks like." He wrote 'Sasha' on the board.

Sasha looked at it doubtfully. "That is my name? It does not look anything like me."

"It's a word. It's not supposed to look like anything," Tracey said. "That's what pictures are for."

"Then what is the point of writing words if they do not look anything like what they are describing? Would not pictures make more sense, since they look like what they are supposed to represent?" Sasha asked.

"Ah, you mean pictograms and hieroglyphics? Yes, many ancient civilizations used to use those as a form of written communication rather than the Unown-alphabet most modern Pokemon utilize today," Oak said.

"Then why don't you teach me how to read those rather than this Combusken-scratch?" Sasha asked.

Oak frowned. "Are you insulting my handwriting?"

"I do not know. I have not seen enough handwriting to tell what it's supposed to look like," Sasha said.

"Fair enough," Oak said. "The reason I don't teach you pictorial languages is because very few people use those anymore. Part of the reason is because they're just too complicated. How do you draw a picture to describe a concept as complicated as wisdom, or love, or the sensation of sunlight washing over you on a warm summer's day? An image may mean different things to different people, so what to one person is clearly a symbol of the Moon another may take to be a giant eyeball. And then you have to take into account the artistic capability of the person writing or drawing the images to begin with. Depending on their skill, a simple grocery list can wind up looking like a declaration of war. You wouldn't believe how many kingdoms were destroyed by such simple misunderstandings! Written words are better at describing context and detail, and they always look the same no matter who's writing them…assuming they have legible handwriting, that is."

"And then there's language to consider," Tracey pointed out. "Since the written version of a person or object may look one way in one language and another way in another language, but still mean the same thing."

Sasha's mind boggled at this concept. "Multiple words can mean the same thing?"

"And one word can mean _many_ things, depending on the context. For instance, the word 'fluke,'" Oak said, writing 'fluke' on the blackboard. "Can mean the end parts of an anchor, the tail fins of a Wailord, or a stroke of luck. 'A bow' can be the long wooden stick used to play string instruments, to bend forward at the waist, the front of a ship, a weapon that shoots arrows, a tied ribbon…"

Sasha moaned and put her face between her paws as Oak rambled on. Why had she asked him to teach her how to read again? She hadn't thought it would be _this_ difficult. She wondered what the others were doing. Probably something exciting.

…

Back inside the ninja…

"I think Tiny's bored," Leo said. "You can tell by the look in his eyes…and the way he sucks his pacifier." Tiny sucked his pacifier. "Yep, definitely boredom."

"We haven't even been walking that long…have we?" Pikachu asked, a frown on his face. "I'm not sure how to judge time in here."

"That's because time doesn't exist. At least, not time as we know it. No matter how long we spend in here, only a few minutes should pass in the real world," Ash said.

"That's convenient," Leo said.

Lily nodded. "Yes, many magical places are like that."

"But we're not in a magical place, we're inside someone's heart…although I suppose hearts do have magic all their own," Pikachu admitted. " But not that kind. So why is time different here?"

"Um…I think it's because we're moving at the speed of thought or something like that," Ash said vaguely, checking an entry in his book. "Or impulse. Or emotions. Basically, we're a form of energy in a world _made_ of energy, and since energy moves faster than solid matter, our perception of time speeds up as well."

"Hey, does that mean we could use somebody's heart as a hyperbolic time chamber to get months of training done in just a couple of minutes?" Leo asked excitedly.

"No," Ash said. "That's been tried before, actually. While your spirit might become stronger, your real body wouldn't, since it's not here."

"Oh…" Leo frowned in disappointment. "Well, it was worth a try."

Pikachu frowned and grabbed the hilt of his sword. "There's something up ahead."

"Yes, the fortress," Lily said, squinting at the dark edifice through the blizzard.

"No. Something else. I think we may have just found our 'light,'" Pikachu said.

He was correct. Standing just a few meters away from them in the snow was a Buneary with black fur and red tufts. It took them a moment to realize that, strange fur aside, this Buneary looked the same as the ninja, or at least how the ninja might have looked if she weren't horribly burned and scarred from a still-unexplained accident. This was, of course, because it _was_ the ninja, or at least, the representation of her innermost self. "You should not be here," the rabbit said angrily as they approached. Her voice was soft and quiet and unassuming, certainly not what you'd expect to hear from a skilled assassin.

"Hey, she can talk!" Leo observed. "And she looks completely different from how she does in real life. Cool."

"Since the being before us was created from our host's heart, it looks like her ideal view of herself. Naturally, that ideal would be unburned and have a voice," Ash said. "And apparently like some weird Sneasel/Buneary hybrid."

"Then why don't we look like our ideal selves, if our forms here are created from _our_ hearts?" Lily asked.

"Because we're not in our own hearts, we're in somebody else's, so to an extent look the way that person views us," Ash said.

"Ah, so that explains why I'm still bald," Leo said wistfully, rubbing his pate. "And why Tiny's still…small." Tiny glared at him and sucked his pacifier.

"We're sorry for intruding, but we came here to help," Pikachu told the Buneary.

Ash nodded. "We're here to purify you and help you open the door to your heart."

The Buneary frowned. "I did not ask for your help. You came here in vain. That door cannot be opened. I have tried, many times. You would have done better to kill me when you had the chance, so that I could no longer be used as a weapon by the Nihilators."

"Mercy killing's not the sort of thing we do. We're Rescue Teams. We help those in need…and right now, to us you're more a victim of the Nihilators than a weapon. Saving you is our duty!" Ash said. "And I'm glad you're at least aware that you aren't how you should be and want to fix yourself. That'll make this a little easier."

"And the rest will probably be even harder to make up for it," Leo said.

"I know it's what you wanted at the time, but I couldn't have killed you anyway…my sword's magic. It refuses to kill innocent people," Pikachu added.

The Buneary blinked in surprise. "Then that is why…" She frowned. "It believes I am…'innocent?' You must be mistaken. After all the things I have done, the people I have killed…innocence is something I lost a long time ago."

"Well, maybe not 'innocent' so much as 'good' rather than 'evil,'" Pikachu admitted.

She frowned. "It thinks I am…good? Preposterous. How can a weapon make such a distinction like that? How can it possibly think that I…that I am…"

"Hey, it's a _magic_ sword! Blessed by the gods!" Leo said. "You don't question that sort of thing." He frowned. "Wait, if it only hurts evil people, then why'd it shock me that one time I touched it?"

"Oh, it does that to everyone who's not a Thunderblade," Pikachu said. "It can only _cut_ evil people, though."

"Ah," Leo said.

Lily frowned in thought. "What would happen if you used it on me, then?"

"Probably nothing…but even so, I'm not keen to experiment. Stabbing someone with a sword just to see if they're good or bad doesn't strike me as a great way to make or keep friends," Pikachu said.

"It believed I was good? Why would it…" the Buneary shook her head, deciding not to think about that. "You say you came here to rescue me. Normally I would be insulted at the suggestion that I _need_ help, if it weren't…well, true in this instance. But why have you chosen to purify me? What do you seek to gain from restoring me to my former self? To force me into your debt? To make me your servant?"

"No," said Ash. "We decided to purify you because it's the right thing to do. We don't care if you feel that you'll owe us or not, or even if it makes you angry and resentful towards us. We just want to help. It's what we do." The Buneary stared at him in astonishment. She had no idea how to respond to that.

"I was surprised by that sort of thing too, the first time I heard it from them," Lily admitted. "I still am, actually. But…I think its part of being 'good'. You're supposed to do what feels right in your heart. It comes from knowing the difference between right and wrong…right, Leo?"

Leo nodded in agreement. "Something like that, yeah." Tiny sucked his pacifier.

"…Very well. If you truly think you can make a difference, then perhaps…" the Buneary nodded, coming to a decision. "I am not sure if you can succeed where I, who have been trained all my life in controlling my spirit and will, could not…but you are an Aura Guardian, so know more about the heart and the ways of Aura than I. If you believe you can help, then I will guide you to my heart. I do not…I do not want to be a monster…I came so close to killing you already, even though you have done no wrong and have nothing to do with my quest. If you had not snapped me out of it when you did…"

"If you snapped out of it, why'd you keep attacking us?" Leo asked.

"I was aware of what I was doing—had almost done—but the Shadow's hold was too strong on me, much to my everlasting shame. I could not stop myself. So…I isolated the samurai and myself, intending to minimize casualties and hoping that he could stop me," the Buneary said.

"Which I did…though not the way you expected," Pikachu said.

"So…you spending lots of time 'fighting' by yourselves in an enclosed space had nothing to do with you having a crush on him?" Leo needled.

"Leo!" Pikachu snapped.

"No," the Buneary said flatly.

"Are you sure? If you wanted someone you were sure could kill you, you could have picked Briney instead of Pikachu. Plus, it looked like you were _really_ enjoying that kiss he gave you," Leo said suggestively.

"That was completely against my will!" Pikachu stammered, turning red.

"I. Said. No," the Buneary said coldly…but was there a hint of a blush in her cheeks, or was that just their imagination?

"Anyway," Ash said loudly, getting back on topic. "So, you're alive and willing to help us help you purify yourself. That about sum it up?"

The ninja nodded. "Yes. If you succeed, then…then I suppose I will be in your debt. I will join your team and assist you in your own quest. It is the least I can do."

"Oh, you don't need to do that," Pikachu said quickly.

"Yes she does! Yes she does!" Leo said eagerly. "We're gonna get a ninja!"

"And that is…cool?" Lily asked.

"Totally!" Leo exulted. Tiny sucked his pacifier.

"Leo, we help people because it's the right thing, not because we expect to be rewarded," Ash lectured.

"Yeah…but getting a reward now and then isn't necessarily bad, is it?" Leo countered.

"He's right, I have to…and not only because joining you will allow me to carry out my revenge against Paul, since the Nihilators are your enemies too, and if you keep fighting them it is inevitable that you will run into him again sooner or later, giving me another chance to end his traitorous life once and for all," the ninja said, eyes narrowing with hate. "But aside from that, I must join you because I am honor-bound to."

"Because we're going to help you out of a tough spot?" Ash asked.

She shook her head. "No, because the samurai defeated me in a fair, one-on-one battle, and did not kill me. According to the ninja code, when a ninja is beaten on the field of battle and their life is spared, they must become the vassal of their conqueror, so long as it does not conflict with any of their other oaths."

Pikachu's eyes bulged out of their sockets. "Wait, _what?!_"

Leo burst into laughter. "Oho, dude, you've got a vassal! You have no idea how much I envy you right now!"

"Why?" asked the perplexed Lily. "What is a vassal?"

"I'd like to know, too," Ash said.

"A vassal is someone who enters into mutual obligations with a monarch or warrior as their servant in exchange for certain obligations," the Buneary explained as Pikachu grew more and more distraught. "It essentially means that I am his to do with as he pleases, that I will protect his life and fight on his behalf, and obey any order he issues me so long as it does not conflict with my ninja code or any other oaths I have taken."

"_Any_ order, huh?" Leo asked lewdly. "So, if Pikachu wanted to bed you, all he'd have to do was-"

"If you're my vassal, does that mean if I asked you to kill Leo you would do it?" Pikachu interrupted loudly.

"If that is what you wish," the ninja said, glancing at Leo, who noticeably paled.

Pikachu smirked, enjoying the Squirtle's fear. "No thanks, that won't be necessary…at the moment."

"Don't worry Leo, if she tries to kill you I'll help you," Lily assured the Squirtle.

"Oh, by protecting me with a spell?" Leo asked in relief.

The Misdreavus blinked. "Hmm? Oh, that's a good idea too, but I meant I'd ensnare your soul and put it somewhere safe so it couldn't wander off and get lost or something like that. Then I'd work on creating a doll or homunculus to put it in so you could have a body again. Unless you just incarnate as a Ghost, that is."

Leo sweatdropped. "…Ah. Right."

"Uh, look, I appreciate that you feel you're obligated to be my vassal since your honor code tells you to—I'm a samurai, I understand that sort of thing too—but I don't really _need_ a vassal. Or want one. I'm not that kind of guy. I come from a big family in a small town and I don't really think we can fit _one more_ person under our roof considering how large our family's gotten from adoptees and new additions in the last year alone. I can take care of myself, and I would rather have you as an ally or a friend than as a servant," Pikachu told the Buneary.

She crossed her arms and gave him a stubborn look. "You defeated me and spared my life, so I must be your vassal. That is all there is to it."

"But…but I…" Pikachu stammered. "I told you, I don't _want_ a vassal! Can't I…I don't know, release you or something?"

"You could," the ninja admitted.

"Good," the relieved samurai said. "In that case, I-"

"But if you do, I would have to kill myself," she said calmly.

"…Wait, what?!" Pikachu cried.

"Yeah, that sounds about right," Leo said.

"What do you mean that sounds about right?!" Pikachu cried.

"Um, yeah, that sounds a little extreme," Ash agreed.

"Ninjas take their honor code very seriously, just like samurai," Leo said. "Pikachu, if you broke your code, you'd kill yourself, wouldn't you?"

"I…well, okay, maybe," Pikachu admitted. It wasn't something he'd really put much thought into. "But only if I did something really bad or violated a really important rule."

"Well, it's the same thing for ninjas. The whole vassal thing means a lot to them, since they've always gotta be serving someone, be it out of pay or some oath of loyalty, otherwise they're little more than typical hired guns or killers. Denying her service under you leaves her pretty much masterless, and there's fewer things sadder or more dangerous than a masterless ninja," Leo said.

"Paul doesn't have a master," Ash pointed out.

"_Paul_ is not even close to being a ninja," the Buneary snarled, eyes flashing angrily. "After all he has done, after all the laws and vows he has violated, after all his betrayals…no, he is no ninja."

"And if Pikachu were to refuse to let you be his vassal, you'd feel you'd have to kill yourself to keep from breaking your code and becoming like Paul?" Ash guessed.

She nodded. "Something like that, yes."

"But you didn't have a master before we encountered you," Lily asked.

She hesitated. "That is not…entirely true. I have a master of a sort, though I do not serve him directly and he is probably unaware of my existence. Additionally, before I attacked you, I had not dishonored myself by being mind-controlled and nearly killing a child. Becoming a vassal to the warrior who stopped me from becoming a monster like Paul is the only way I can make amends for my misconduct. Deny me that, and the only way to cleanse my honor is with death," the Buneary said.

"I don't think there's any way you can get out of this, mon," Leo said. Tiny sucked his pacifier in agreement.

"But…but I can't…I mean…she's a ninja! I'm a samurai! What are my parents going to think?!" Pikachu cried desperately.

"Congratulate you for finally getting a girlfriend?" Ash joked. Pikachu glared at him.

"You must take your 'honor' very seriously if you think killing yourself is the only way to make it better," Lily commented.

"I was trained from birth to obey a strict and rigid code of conduct. To act against that code would make me no different from an average mercenary or hitmon," the Buneary said. "Additionally…my life means little to me. That is something else I have been taught. I am one who deals death, so it is inevitable that I too must one day die. We are taught not to fear death, since it is not the end…_Paul_ feared death, and because of that, he betrayed our clan, turned his backs on our teachings…did the worst things it is possible for a ninja to do. And it is because of that he must die."

Pikachu sighed. "There's really no way I can talk you out of this, is there?"

"You could," she said. "But-"

"Right, right, you'd kill yourself. But if you did that, wouldn't you be unable to kill Paul and have your revenge?" Pikachu asked, grasping at straws.

"Perhaps," she agreed. "But my hatred for him is so great, I am not sure death would truly end my quest for vengeance. There is precedent for a ninja returning from the dead to avenge their murder or fulfill one final task before going to their next life. And even if I did not return…I know that you would carry on where I left off."

"We would?" Pikachu asked.

"Why?" Ash asked.

The ninja gave them a smirk. "To alleviate the guilt from letting me die, of course."

"…She's got you there," Leo said after a moment.

"Yeah, I know," Pikachu said wearily. He sighed, giving in. "Fine. If you're really set on it, you can be my vassal. But we're going to have to work out a few things first."

"Of course, Master. I would expect nothing less," she said.

"And the first of those things is that you not call me 'master,'" Pikachu said.

"Whatever you say, Master," she said without a hint of irony. Pikachu's eye twitched.

"I don't see why you're complaining, mon…do you know what I'd give to have a ninja babe willing to follow my every command?" Leo said.

"I don't suppose I could give you to Leo, could I?" Pikachu asked the Buneary, half-hoping she might kill him. She shook her head. "Yeah, I didn't think so."

"I think we're jumping the Water Gun a little, aren't we? We still need to purify her before Pikachu can be her master," Lily said.

Ash nodded. "That's right. Can you take us to your heart?"

She nodded. "Certainly, Master. However, the path is lined with my memories, some of which may be rather…gruesome."

"We've seen lots of gruesome things in our line of work. I'm sure it's nothing we can't handle," Leo said.

"We'll see about that…" the Buneary said ominously. "If you believe you can deal with them, then you should have nothing to worry about…though as I said before, I am not certain that we will be able to open the door to my heart. What Oblivion's Shadow did to me…it was unlike anything I've ever experienced before. None of my training prepared me for…for _that_."

Ash narrowed his eyes. "What did he do to you?"

"I…I cannot remember," she admitted, a frustrated look on her face. "I think it is a defense mechanism. Whenever I approach, I remember…and then I black out and find myself back out here. As if whatever he did is so horrible that not even I, a trained ninja who has walked the path of darkness all her life, can endure it without going mad."

"That really doesn't sound good…" Pikachu murmured. Lily couldn't help feeling more than a little trepidation. She had weathered many torments in her mother's clutches. Could this be something even worse than that?

"Let's see if the six of us together can't find a way to beat it," Ash said. Tiny sucked his pacifier in agreement. "Take us to your heart!"

She nodded. "All right. The beginning of the path is this way." She turned and started walking into the snow.

"By the way," Leo asked as they trekked after her. "I don't think we ever caught your name, did we?"

"Hey yeah, if you're going to be a part of our team from now on, we're going to need something to call you by," Pikachu realized. "What's your name?"

The Buneary stiffened. "My name?" She hesitated for a moment, and then glanced at them briefly over her shoulder. "My name is…Dawn." And then she loped off into the blizzard, and they had to pick up the pace to keep from being left behind.

"Dawn? That's a pretty name," Lily commented.

"Not what you would expect from a ninja, though," Leo said. "I thought it would be Kunoichi. Or Izuna. Or Shinobu. Or Yuffie. Or something like that."

"I think it…suits her, somehow," Pikachu said, though he wasn't sure why. "What do you think, Ash? Ash?"

Ash couldn't answer because he had the faraway look in his eyes that indicated he was having a flashback. _He, Pikachu, and Brock (the human, not the Golem) were sitting in a domed arena with crowded stadium seats and watching as, on a battle stage below, a pretty girl with long blue hair in a nice dress and a Buneary standing next to her and another pretty redhead in a tux and a Glameow anxiously waited as three judges—one of whom was Nurse Joy for some reason—finished tallying up points. One of them, an older man in a red suit, whispered something to a brunette in a yellow dress and a microphone, who smiled and declared, "And the winner of the Konohara Town Pokemon Contest is…Dawn of Twinleaf Town and Buneary!"_

"_Yeah!" Brock cheered as most of the crowd applauded and a big close-up photo of Dawn and Buneary appeared on the giant television screen overlooking the battle stage._

"_All right! Go Dawn!" Ash shouted._

"_Pi Pikachu!" Pikachu cried, hopping up and down and waving to the Buneary, who was dancing happily about._

"_Nice battle, Dawn," the redhead said, crossing the stage to shake the other girl's hand._

"_Thanks! You did great too, Zoey!" Dawn said._

_Ash smiled and watched as Dawn received the Konohara Town ribbon, putting her one step closer to the Grand Festival. He hoped that she won this time. She had been so upset after her loss the last time…and she'd been training so hard this time around…she had to win this time! She just had to! Just like he had to win the upcoming Pokemon League…_

"Ash? Are you listening to me?" Pikachu asked.

Ash blinked, snapping out of the flashback. "What? Oh, um, yeah. A fine name." _And the name of one of my friends from my life as a human,_ he thought to himself. _Which means she must be another reincarnation, like the others. But the Dawn I remember was a warm, bubbly, sometimes insecure coordinator who liked to get up on stage and wear all sorts of fancy dresses and dance with her Pokemon, not…well, not a hardened killer with a conscience who seems to regard her own life as disposable and possibly has a thing for Pikachu rather than Kenny or Conway or Zoey or Gary or Paul or…well, me. What changed? What happened to make her like this, rather than the Dawn I used to know?_

When they caught up to the newly dubbed Dawn, she was standing outside a felt-covered wood lattice-framed structure with some small flags fluttering from its sides and peak and a number of skulls on pikes planted near its cloth-covered entrance. "What's this tent doing here?" Ash asked.

"That's not a tent, it's a yurt," Leo said.

"A what?" Ash asked.

"A yurt," Leo repeated. "A portable dwelling used by nomads and barbarians in the steppes. They can be dismantled and rebuilt in another site easily, fitting in with the typical nomadic lifestyle or war campaigns of a barbarian horde."

"So, it's a tent," Ash said.

"Pretty much, yeah," Leo admitted.

"And we're here because…" Pikachu asked.

"Because this is where the path to my heart begins," Dawn said.

"Not inside the fortress?" Lily asked, glancing at the edifice looming nearby.

Dawn shook her head. "No. It all starts here…on the day I was born."

She entered the yurt. They followed her inside. The felt-covered walls kept out the snow and muted the roar of the winds to a low whistle. Pelts and skulls from a number of Pokemon lined the walls and ceiling along with numerous weapons and other trophies from battle. It was dim and dank, and there was an unpleasant odor in the air. At least some of it was coming from the still-living (though not by much) Pokemon chained to a pole in the center of the yurt. It was a female Lopunny, who might once have been quite beautiful but was now haggard and worn from an indefinite period of abuse. Her fur was covered in filth, bruises, and dried blood. Most of her very long ears had been chopped off, and her legs had been broken and reset incorrectly to keep her from using their power to escape. Her tired eyes had the vacant, docile look of something that had been beaten so many times that it barely counted as alive in any intellectual capacity. She was cradling a brown and cream-colored egg in her shackled arms, hugging it to her chest as if it was the only thing in her life that had meaning. It probably was.

"Um…I take it that's your mother?" Ash asked quietly.

"No," Dawn said, staring indifferently at the Lopunny.

"But isn't that egg-" Pikachu started.

"She is the one who gave birth to me. But she is not my mother," Dawn said flatly.

They turned as an immense Vigoroth in leather armor and cape pushed through the cloth cover on the yurt's entrance and came into the tent, briefly letting some snow in. "And I take it that's not your father, but the guy who sired you?" Leo asked sardonically.

"Yes," Dawn said, the same indifferent look in her eyes. "His name is Kahn. He was a vicious warlord on the plains of Blizzard Island to the southwest."

"By 'was,' I take it to mean he is not around anymore?" Lily asked.

A ghost of a smile formed on Dawn's lips. "No," she said. "Not anymore."

The Vigoroth stomped across the shaggy floor and loomed over the Lopunny, who cringed and whimpered in his shadow. "Well?" he snarled. "It _still_ hasn't hatched?!" Furious, he hit the Lopunny with a powerful blow, knocking her to the ground and cutting open her face. The egg fell out of her hands and rolled across the soft fur carpeting the ground. The Lopunny cried out and reached for the egg, but Kahn angrily stomped on her hand, breaking her wrist. "I leave you with one important task, birthing and hatching my heir, and after all this time you still cannot even do that correctly?! Worthless whore! I should have known there was something wrong with your womb when you only gave me one egg, rather than many!" He angrily started punching and kicking and clawing at her, ignoring her screams and how the blood was staining the pelts covering the floor.

"That rotten-" Ash snarled, stepping forward.

"You can do nothing," Dawn warned him. "This is a memory. What happens here is in the past. It cannot be changed."

"Well, unless we had a time machine," Leo said.

"I don't suppose you have one of _those_ in your shell?" Pikachu asked him.

Leo shook his head. "No, but I have a temporal beacon I rigged to either zap me back to my time period of origin should I ever be flung into the past or the future, or to take me to my future self, who will surely have a working time portal and beacon of his own set up, having lived through the same adventures I did and knowing that his younger self, me, would one day need it. Thought it might come in handy. After all, all the best adventures have at least one instance of time travel before they're over!"

"How did you make…never mind, I don't really want to know," Pikachu sighed.

"Just because I can't change it doesn't mean I have to like seeing it…" Ash growled.

"Then there will be much more you will also dislike before we are through," Dawn said.

"Something's happening to the egg," Lily noted.

Tiny sucked his pacifier as the egg started glowing, attracting Kahn's attention and causing him to stop beating his concubine. "Ah, what's this? Now he chooses to hatch? About time…ha, perhaps he sensed I was beating his mother and wanted to watch? Or join in? He hasn't even been born and he already takes after his old mon!" He eagerly watched the egg as the Lopunny bled out on the floor behind him.

The ovoid glowed brighter and brighter and transformed into the utterly adorable figure of a baby Buneary. It yawned and looked up innocently at Kahn, fixing him with beautiful black eyes. The Vigoroth grunted in disappointment. "A Buneary? Hrmm…well, I suppose there was always a possibility of that. And at least he won't be as lazy a child as a Slakoth would be…yes, I could do worse for an heir." He grinned and lifted the baby into the air. "Welcome to the world, little one. Together, you and I shall…" He paused, looking at the fur covering the baby's lower body. He pushed some of it away with a claw. His breath caught in his throat. A dangerous silence filled the yurt.

Then, with a roar of fury, Kahn threw the Buneary away, the infant smacking into one of the wooden support frames and sliding to the ground. Like most babies would in that situation, she started screaming. So did Kahn, though for different reasons. "A GIRL?!" he howled, whirling on the Lopunny and hitting her so hard that part of her skull cracked. "You dare to produce a GIRL?! The heir of Kahn cannot be a weak female! You stupid, worthless, USELESS BITCH-" He continued spewing invectives as he hit the Lopunny again and again and again until finally she stopped moving and he was covered from head to toe in her blood.

"Holy shit," Leo said quietly.

"Oh my…" Lily whispered.

Ash was bristling with rage, every muscle tense and straining forward. "I can't watch this. I can't let this happen."

"You are too late," Dawn said. "_Years_ too late."

"You don't think I know that?!" he growled angrily. Pikachu ground his teeth, feeling the same way. Tiny stared at the tableau, pacifier frozen in mid-suck.

The baby kept wailing. Kahn, fur dripping with blood and trembling with fury, turned around and shouted, "SHUT UP! STOP CRYING!" Naturally, this only made her scream louder. Bellowing, Kahn lunged at her and lashed out with a claw, tearing out part of the infant's throat and causing blood to spray all over the place, cutting off the infant's wail with a blood-flecked gurgle. Eyes wild, the Vigoroth drew back a claw to finish her off…

And stiffened, eyes going wide and jaw dropping with a gasp. He fell to the ground, blood oozing from the fatal wound in his back, the black-clad Sneasel who had dealt the killing blow eyeing him coldly and wiping her dripping claws off. "_That_," Dawn said with a hint of pride, a genuine smile forming on her face. "Is my mother, Ayako Hikari of the Dragon's Claw clan of ninjas."

"Ooooh," said Lily.

"She's kind of hot," Leo commented. Dawn glared at him. "What? She is!"

Pikachu frowned. "Wait…your name is Dawn Hikari? Isn't that a little redundant?"

"Your name is the same as your species. Isn't that redundant too?" Ash asked. Pikachu grunted but made no reply.

"I take it she was hired to kill Kahn?" Leo asked as Ayako checked the Vigoroth to make sure he was dead.

Dawn nodded. "And his lieutenants. Their army had been causing problems on Blizzard Island for far too long. By assassinating their leaders, their remaining soldiers would blame each other and wipe each other out with infighting, and the remainder wouldn't be much of a threat to anyone else. She took out Kahn's lieutenants first to keep them from interfering, which is why she did not arrive in time to stop Kahn from killing my birth mother, whoever she was." She watched fondly as the Sneasel glanced at the baby Buneary bleeding to death, hesitated, then ripped off a strip of black cloth and wrapped it around the child's neck. "She did, however, have time to save me." The Sneasel picked Dawn up and stepped into a shadow, vanishing from the yurt and leaving behind no trace that she had been there other than the deceased warlord lying on the floor.

"Why did she do that?" Pikachu wondered.

Dawn scowled at him. "Just because we are ninjas we cannot have hearts, Master? We do not kill children. And Ayako had recently lost her own egg in an accident, so was feeling rather…maternal and needy at the time. I happened to be just what she needed to fill that gaping hole in her heart."

"The fact that you weren't a Sneasel didn't bother her or the rest of the clan?" Ash asked.

"Does anyone care that your 'son' is not a Riolu?" Dawn asked, pointing at Tiny, who sucked his pacifier.

"Good point," Ash admitted. "And he's not the only child of mine that's not technically my kid, either…"

"So Ayako and the rest of the clan adopted you and trained you to be the l33t ninja bunny you are now?" Leo asked. "That is so cool! Sometimes I wonder how awesome I would be if I had been raised by ninjas." Pikachu tried to picture that and shuddered at what his mind conjured up.

"The only real problems they had making me one of them was my lack of a voice and the fact that my species is not one really designed for stealth or killing," Dawn said. "Not even Nurse Ninjoy could fix my vocal chords. However, I was taught clickspeak, and eventually it was concluded that my muteness was a blessing in disguise, since it made me even quieter than the other ninjas in training. And the species barrier was surmounted by giving me artificial claws and the appropriate training equipment, as well as giving me regular injections of Sneasel blood until my DNA had been altered enough to make me more agile, acrobatic, and able to use some of the darker ninja arts."

"Like phasing through shadows?" Lily guessed.

"Which is a really neat trick, by the way. Can you teach me how to do that?" Leo asked.

"No, I can't," she said.

"And thank goodness for that, too…" Pikachu muttered to himself.

Dawn turned and headed for the exit of the yurt. "We are done with this place. It holds no more memories for me. The path to my heart continues elsewhere. Follow me." One by one, they filed out of the building after her. Tiny lingered last, staring at the corpse of the enslaved Lopunny for a long moment. Then he shook himself, sucked his pacifier, and waddled off after the others.

The ninja guided them up towards the fortress, which seemed a lot closer than it had been before they had entered the yurt. However, upon reaching its walls, Dawn turned away from the gates at the front and started moving along the side. "Isn't the entrance that way?" Ash asked.

"It's a decoy," she said without looking back. "The correct way is over here."

"Ah, right," Leo said, nodding knowingly. "Ninjas never use the front door."

"Why not?" Lily asked.

"Because everyone comes in through the front door. If you're trying to sneak in, it's better to do it through a window or side entrance." Leo paused. "Unless that's what everyone would expect you to do, so it might be smarter to go through the front instead. Or that's what they expect you to expect them to expect you to do, so you should go through the side or back instead. Unless that's what they expect you to-"

"Leo, didn't we get enough of that back in Twilight's Edge?" Pikachu asked wearily.

"Right. Sorry," Leo apologized.

Dawn paused along a stretch of wall, reached for a stone, and pulled. A very tall piece of paper painted to look like the wall fell away, revealing a rope dangling down from the top of the battlements. "Up there," she said.

Leo blanched. "Uh, I always failed rope climbing back at gym class. I don't suppose there's another way in, is there?"

"No," the Buneary said as she started climbing up the rope.

"Look at it this way, Leo," Ash said as Pikachu started climbing as well. "If we're not actually here, then your body isn't real, so you shouldn't have a problem climbing that thing so long as you _believe_ you can do it."

"Yeah, that's what coach said. I was never able to get more than a foot off the ground…" Leo groaned. "Lily, I don't suppose you could carry me?"

Lily looked him up and down doubtfully. "I don't know…You _are_ kind of heavy…"

"Only if you believe that I am," he said hopefully. "Come on, it can't be that hard!"

A few minutes later…

"Okay, maybe it can be that hard," Leo said, his voice muffled by the snowbank he was currently stuck in.

"Sorry," Lily said, apologizing for dropping him for the tenth time.

"No biggie," Leo said, pulling himself out of the snow. "Okay, let's try this again."

Ash sighed, losing his patience. "I have a better idea." He picked Leo up and bodily hurled him at the top of the wall.

"WAAAAAAHHHHH!" the Squirtle yelled as he flew through the air and crashed into the side of a parapet. "Oof…I'm glad this isn't real, otherwise that would have hurt a lot more than it did…"

"That wasn't very nice," Lily scolded him.

"No, but it was effective," Ash said. "Now come on, let's get up and join the others…" He paused, seeing Tiny was still at the bottom of the rope, looking at him expectantly. "No Tiny, I am not carrying you up on my back, you're too heavy." Tiny crossed his arms and sucked his pacifier. "Don't give me that look, I said no, and that's final!"

A few minutes later, gasping and panting, he reached the top of the wall. Tiny slipped off his back and toddled away. "Guess it wasn't," Leo said, walking over. "Why didn't you throw him up, too?"

"I didn't want to hurt him," Ash said.

"Ah, but you had no trouble hurting me?" Leo asked angrily.

"Leo, you have a shell. I knew you'd be fine," Ash said.

"Ash, we can't be hurt if we don't believe we can be. You could have thrown Tiny up and he would have been fine," Leo reminded him.

"…" Ash's eye twitched. "Dammit, Tiny." Tiny sucked his pacifier smugly, looking very pleased with himself.

"Come on, you've got to see this," Lily said, helping Ash up and guiding him to the other side of the walkway running along the top of the wall.

"What are we looking at—ooh," Ash said as he joined the others in staring down at a courtyard filled with fighting Pokemon. (As in, Pokemon who were fighting, not Pokemon that were Fighting-types, though there were some of those too). They ranged from children to adolescents of various different species, though the majority of them were Sneasels. The lot of them was engaged in practice fights or running obstacle courses while being overseen by older teachers. Nuzleaf practiced disappearing in swirls of leaves, and changing leaves into a variety of objects and illusions. Nincada tried to cut and dig under fences and walls placed in their paths. Ninjask raced from one end of the courtyard to another, dodging around and over and under the other Pokemon in the process. Shedinja hovered in place and took powerful attacks head-on without flinching. Koffing vanished in clouds of their own smog and reappeared elsewhere. Croagunk dueled with each other and jabbed at punching bags. Venonat navigated through dangerous obstacles blindfolded. Spinarak swung back and forth on lines of webbing while being harried by Zubats. And everywhere, Sneasel were running and jumping, clawing and slashing at each other, and vanishing and reappearing from shadows.

There was also one Buneary with metal claws and black cloth wrappings with red feathers pinned into them fighting a Sneasel in a distant corner of the courtyard, while several of their peers and teachers watched. "In our home atop Mt. Avalanche, I was taught along with other trainees in the ways of the ninja," Dawn said, hopping atop the battlements and staring wistfully down at the courtyard. "Even though I was the only Buneary and required certain tools and regular DNA infusions to stay at the same level as my peers, nobody treated me like I was any different from them or as if my species were somehow a hindrance. They made me feel like I was one of them, and I grew to think of myself as a Sneasel who just happened to be born in a different body. Under the watchful eyes of our teachers and the ninja elders, I worked and studied and grew strong…as did my rival, partner, and best friend…Paul Yami." As she said this, the Sneasel her past self was fighting launched a powerful attack that broke through the younger Buneary's defenses and knocked her to the ground. He held a claw to her neck, and she froze.

Everyone started and stared at Dawn in disbelief. "Your best friend was _Paul?!_" Leo cried. "That douchebag?!"

"Paul, who you swore to kill?" Pikachu asked.

"Paul, who really beat the crap out of me?" Ash asked.

"Paul, who you thought we were so tried to kill us, too?" Lily asked.

Tiny sucked his pacifier, but it was unclear if he was making a startled exclamation or just sucking his pacifier.

Dawn bowed her head as below them, the younger Dawn closed her eyes in submission, and the Sneasel retracted his claws and helped her back to his feet. "He…was not always as he is now. Before then, we were the closest of friends. A perfect team. We were so in sync it seemed likely that we would be paired together for life, both professionally and…otherwise." Leo glanced at Pikachu, but other than looking (understandably) disgusted that she had almost been involved with…_that,_ there were no visible signs of jealousy. He couldn't help feeling disappointed.

Dawn sighed and turned away, hopping back down to the walkway. "But after his parents died on a mission and his older brother Reggie started taking care of him, he began…changing. Becoming more distant. And obsessed with death, or rather, conquering it, something unheard of for a ninja. We live with death every day of our lives. As bringers of death, we accept our own inevitable end as part of our existence, and stare unflinching into Darkrai's gaze. But for a ninja to be afraid of death, to seek a way to escape it…at first we thought he was just going through a phase. But prior to our graduation ceremony, when the true nature of our order and the identity of our ultimate master was revealed, it became clear that something was very wrong with Paul."

"True nature? Ultimate master?" Ash murmured, perplexed.

"You mentioned before that you had a master of a sort. Other than, well, me. Is that who you were talking about?" Pikachu asked.

She nodded. "That is correct, Master."

"Okay…so who is this head honcho?" Leo asked.

"And what was wrong with Paul?" Lily asked.

"I will show you. It is our next stop," Dawn said, heading down the walkway. They followed her to a tower, but rather than enter it, she turned and pressed a series of bricks in the side of the battlement. There was a rumbling noise and a section of the floor slid open, revealing a set of stairs. "We must go down there."

"Cool! This place must be riddled with secret passages," said an enthusiastic Leo as they followed the Buneary down the stairs. "Just what I'd expect from a ninja fortress!"

"It's a good thing we ran into you, otherwise we might never have found the right path," Ash said to Dawn, who nodded in agreement.

"Couldn't you have found your way using Aura-sight?" Lily asked.

Ash shook his head. "This whole world is made of Aura. It would have been nearly impossible to pick out the route to her heart in all this."

"Then it is a good thing that I am here," Dawn said. "And that my new master agreed to accept my services." Pikachu grimaced.

They reached the bottom of the stairs and walked along a dark passageway for several minutes. Team Aurabolt noticed that the walls were lined with photographs, paintings, and images that appeared to be more of Dawn's memories. It showed her learning how to fight, battling and playing alongside Paul, eating and going on missions with her family…her first kill…that sort of thing. Dawn seemed to be ignoring these memories, however, so they probably were not important to their current mission. Dawn paused at one spot that had no pictures, then pressed another series of bricks, causing a door to slide open. "We are here."

They filed out of the passageway and found themselves on a balcony overlooking a grand hall with great pillars reaching up to the ceiling that had draconic forms coiled along their height. The walls were covered with paintings depicting ancient warfare and famous ninjas going about their work, and the ceiling had a mural of five ninjas with their hands clasped around a scroll, while dragons and other figures spiraled around them. One of the walls was not a wall at all but a screen of windows that showed a panoramic view of the glacial landscape and snowy mountains surrounding the ninja fortress. The room looked like it could contain hundreds of people, but there were only about three dozen gathered on the floor; a number of adolescent ninjas—including an older-looking Dawn and Paul—and a much older Ninjask and Shedinja pair. "Who are those two?" Ash asked.

"Grandmasters Aya and Iya, supreme leaders of the Clan," Dawn said. "They led us wisely for centuries." Ash frowned. The name 'Aya' sounded vaguely familiar.

"Centuries? I thought you said ninjas weren't into cheating death," Lily said.

"We aren't," Dawn said. "But Shedinjas cannot help living forever so long as they are not killed, and a Ninjask cannot help living as long as their Shedinja 'twin.' That does not make them any less a ninja, however. If anything it makes them even better, since they must be even twice as stealthy and careful as their peers, since if they make a mistake, their life is not the only one that might be in jeopardy. Their souls are bound, so when one dies, so does the other."

"Oh," said Lily.

"Still a neat trick," said Leo, always looking for a way to prolong his life indefinitely. "And since they can still die, I guess they're not immortal so much as really long-lived."

Dawn nodded. "Precisely. However, Paul did not quite see it that way." She glanced down at the ninjas in the hall below, and paused. "By revealing to you the identity of my clan's true master, I risk breaking a vow I swore my life to protect. If you wish to proceed any further, you must take the same vow…and if you break it or breathe a word about what you have seen here, then I will kill you all, as well as myself."

They exchanged alarmed looks. "Isn't that a little…extreme?" Lily asked uneasily.

"No," Dawn said. "I take my oaths very seriously, and if I have no choice but to violate them, I need to make sure it's to someone I can trust. The identity of my clan's master must be kept secret at all costs, since public knowledge of his involvement with us could prove disastrous. Before we go any further, I must know: can you promise, on pain of death, never to reveal any of what you are about to see to anyone?"

The heroes fidgeted. "Um…we'd _like_ to…" Ash said slowly.

"We would?" Leo asked. Pikachu glared at him. "Er, I guess we do."

"But there's one small problem with your request," Ash continued. "Our other teammate, who didn't join us in here, it a powerful Psychic who looks inside people's heads and sees all their secrets no matter what they have to say about it. If you show us this, there's no way we're going to be able to hide it from him. He won't respect our mental privacy or take 'no' for an answer."

"A good thing he's on our side, right?" Lily said.

"Let's hope it stays that way," Pikachu muttered.

Dawn contemplated this for a moment. "…Very well," she said grudgingly. "If there truly is no way to conceal it from him, and if you can be positive he won't tell the secret to anyone else…"

"He won't," Ash assured her. _I hope._

Pikachu nodded. "The Captain's a tough nut to crack. He wouldn't tell you anything unless he wanted you to know it."

"Then I suppose it would be all right for him to know, so long as none of you tell _anyone_ else," Dawn said reluctantly.

"Not even our _other _other teammate, Sasha, who also couldn't make it in here and stayed behind, missing out on all the action?" Lily asked.

Dawn sighed. "No, not even her."

"But what if some other Psychic were to look into our minds, completely against our wishes, and saw-" Leo started. Dawn gave him an exasperated look. "Er, right, we'll just hope that doesn't happen, then."

"I'm starting to reconsider taking you any further…" Dawn growled.

"We've come this far, we might as well go all the way," Pikachu said.

"And besides, without our help, you can't open the door to your heart," Ash said.

"…" Dawn sighed. "Fine. We'll continue."

"Does that mean the death vows are waived?" Leo asked hopefully.

"No," Dawn said.

The Squirtle shrugged. "Oh well, worth a try." Tiny sucked his pacifier.

The ninjas down in the hall sprung to life. Well, they were still standing as still as statues, but now there was some sign of breathing. Aya and Iya floated in front of the three dozen trainees, an air of satisfaction about their forms. "For the last several years," the Ninjask, Aya, spoke up abruptly. "You have been in our care."

"We have trained you. Molded you. Tested you. Taught you the difference between right and wrong. Stripped you of your fear of death and showed you the true value of your own life. Educated you in the ways of the ninja," the Shedinja, Iya, said.

"You are the best and brightest of your generation, and represent the future of our clan," Aya said proudly.

"In one week's time, you will take the graduation exam…your greatest challenge yet, and the last thing we have to teach you," Iya said.

"It will be the culmination of everything you have learned here," said Aya.

"It will be the ultimate test of your skills and ninjutsu," said Iya.

"If you pass, you shall be true ninjas," said Aya.

"If you fail, you shall die," said Iya.

There were only a few hints of unease among the rank and file at this information. Ash was gratified to see that one of them came from Paul, though he was impressed by how unbothered the younger Dawn seemed to be. "You fail, you die? That seems a little harsh, doesn't it?" Pikachu asked.

"The graduation exam judges us to see whether we truly had what it took to be Dragon's Claw ninjas," Dawn said. "Those who are unable to pass such a test are unworthy to be among our ranks. It is not that those who fail are put to death…but that the test itself is so dangerous that anything less than completion will spell your doom. If you are unable to complete the test, that means you did not train as hard or learn as much as you should have. Your death is nobody's fault but your own for not being prepared enough."

"Still seems kind of harsh…" Pikachu said.

"Our teachers put us through lots of hard tests too, but none of them were potentially fatal," Ash agreed.

"Actually, it sounds a lot like my childhood," Lily said. Nobody was surprised by this.

"A ninja is at her best on the edge of a knife, balancing between life and death," Dawn said. "It is there that she finds out what she's really made of. The final exam is designed to remind her of this…and if it's any consolation, very few people had died of it by the time I took it. Only a handful of ninjas in the last century."

"Well, I guess that's something…" Pikachu muttered.

"Better than a ton of ninjas," Leo said optimistically. Tiny sucked his pacifier.

"Since you are about to take the test that will prove your prowess as a ninja…" Aya said, drawing everyone's attention back to her.

"We thought it was time you learned the truth about our clan," Iya said.

"Why we exist," Aya said.

"Who we serve," Iya said.

"What our purpose for being is," they said at once.

Lily blinked. "Hey, why didn't they do anything while we were talking?"

Leo opened his mouth, but Ash and Pikachu beat him to it. "'Talking is a free action,'" they said wearily.

Leo pouted. "I was gonna say that!"

Dawn frowned. "I have no idea what that means, but they didn't do anything because this is my memory and nothing happens when I don't focus on it."

"Oh, so it _wasn't_ 'talking is a free action' then?" Pikachu asked hopefully, perking up.

"No, it was, she just has a justification for why it happened," Leo said. Pikachu sighed.

A gong rang, and the twin elders turned to face the glass screen expectantly. It slid aside as smooth as silk, letting the cold air and snow outside into the hall…

And that's not all that came in. Much to the astonishment of the ninja trainees and Team Aurabolt, none other than _Rayquaza_ glided into the hall, with a Ninjask and Shedinja on either side of him, and a phalanx of Dragonite, Salamence, and Garchomp flanking him. Rayquaza circled around the pillars and coiled up on the floor in front of the awestruck ninjas, rearing back so his great serpentine form loomed over them, while the dragon soldiers landed in a neat line behind him and roared, proclaiming their master's arrival. "Greetings, younglings," Rayquaza said, his rich and sonorant voice filling the chamber. "I have been looking forward to meeting you! You look every bit the fine ninjas I was told that you would be. Your services shall benefit the entire Draconian Empire!"

"Holy shit!" Leo cried. "Is that _Rayquaza?!_"

"Oh my…he's even bigger than I had imagined…" whispered an amazed Lily as she looked upon the Pokemon she had been unborn to destroy.

"Your master is Rayquaza?!" Pikachu cried.

"I didn't know Rayquaza had ninjas," the amazed Ash commented.

Dawn smiled. "Of course you don't. What good would we be to him if everyone knew that we existed?"

"Ohhh, I get it…so you guys are like his secret service and spies and stuff?" Leo realized.

Dawn nodded. "While his draconic armies soar on high, their great and colorful wings drawing everyone's attention on the ground below, we slink past in the shadows when nobody is looking, gathering information and 'removing' threats to his continued reign."

"Cool!" said Leo.

Pikachu frowned. "I dunno…I always thought the Empire was on the up and up. I didn't know they employed ninjas to do stuff like that."

"Well hey, every government needs people to do stuff like that," Leo said. "How else are they supposed to know what their allies are really up to?"

"…Don't you mean their enemies?" Pikachu asked.

Leo snorted. "What? Don't be preposterous, if governments only spied on their enemies how would they ever learn anything new?" Pikachu's eye twitched.

"Trainees, we would like you to meet our clan's master…" said Aya.

"His Excellency, the almighty Dragon God King, Rayquaza!" said Iya.

The students, though clearly still startled, quickly bowed to show the proper respect. The Shedinja next to Rayquaza nodded approvingly. "You have taught them well, sisters."

"They shall be a fine addition to our ranks," the Ninjask on the other side said.

"We are glad they meet your approval, brother Nuken," said Aya.

"And you, brother Koga," said Iya.

Ash blinked, the name Koga for some reason causing him to think of a very stern ninja master who had forced him to run through an obstacle-filled mansion before deigning to fight him. And now he knew why 'Aya' had seemed familiar…the Koga he knew had had a sister by that name too. Which probably wasn't a surprise, if these ninjas were another pair of reincarnated people from his past life. "That's Nuken?! Whoa…I didn't know he had siblings!"

"I guess the Ninjask thing is obvious, but I never really thought about it before now," Pikachu admitted. "I certainly didn't know he had sisters, though."

"Again, ninja! You aren't supposed to know that sort of thing," Leo said. "Huh, so that's the Nuken guy you kept talking about? I thought he'd be bigger. And scarier."

"Nuken…" Lily murmured. "So…that is my father?"

Dawn gave Lily a puzzled look. "Father?"

"Oh yeah, you weren't around for that…it turns out Lily is Nuken's daughter," Ash said.

"About three hundred years ago an evil witch named Bellum seduced Nuken and sired a child with her, which she tried to use in some dark ritual to kill Rayquaza," Pikachu said. "She failed, but managed to keep Lily out of Nuken's claws, forcing her into an unlife of torment and servitude to evil."

"And Nuken's been looking for her ever since…boy, was he pissed when he found out we had her, and she wasn't ready to leave us! I didn't see the look on his face, but given what he said in his emails he sounded really angry," Leo said.

"He seems like…an interesting person," Lily said uneasily. "I'm still trying to get used to the notion of having a male parent. I'm not sure I'm ready to meet him yet." _Or ever._

Dawn gasped. "Then you are…" Abruptly, she got down on one knee and pounded a fist to her heart. "My lady! I apologize for my earlier misconduct against you. I had no control over my actions, but that is no excuse! Forgive me for almost killing you. If I had had any idea who you really were…" She bowed her head. "If you wish my death as punishment for attacking you or your friends, I will gladly kill myself. Your father would probably demand the same of me."

Lily started. "Wh-what?! I-I don't understand, why are you…"

"One of the longstanding goals of our clan was to find the lair of the vile Bellum and free you from her clutches," Dawn explained. "None succeeded, so for your friends to have done so is truly a mark of how exemplary they are…and how unworthy I am, for failing to do the same thing. What is it that you wish for this disgraced ninja to do?"

"Um…I…er…" Lily stammered, completely taken off-guard like this. Nobody had ever spoken to her like this before. She had no idea how to respond. And…would her father _really_ have Dawn killed for attacking her? That made her even more anxious about eventually meeting him. How was he any different from her mother? "I…um…I suppose I'd like you to…go about as you were earlier. And not kill yourself. Because, um, I understand that it was an accident and all. So…no big deal, right? All is forgiven."

"You might want to mention that you won't let your dad kill her, too," Ash whispered.

"What? Oh, yes, and I won't let my father hurt you. Um, we just won't tell him what happened, how is that?" Lily asked nervously.

Dawn rose and bowed. "If that is your decision, I shall do my best to obey, my lady."

"Hey, I don't suppose that this means that you're going to be serving Lily instead of me now? I mean, what with her being so important to your duty and one of your bosses and all…" Pikachu asked desperately.

Dawn considered for a moment, and then shook her head. "No, a ninja can have multiple masters. While I will certainly protect her and obey any orders she wishes to give me, it is you I have sworn fealty to. I will remain your vassal until my life comes to an end."

"…Wonderful…" Pikachu groaned.

"Why'd you go and react like that? You could have had her eating out of the…um…the brim of your hat?" Leo asked, trying to find an appropriate analogy for Lily's anatomy.

Lily blushed. "I panicked. Nobody's ever talked to me like that or treated me as if I were…well, Mother, before. It made me very uncomfortable. I've been forced to be a servant of sorts for so long that I don't think I could bear having one of my own." _And there's also the comment she made about my father…would he really do that to her? Is going to him really any better than what I've left behind?_

Leo sighed. "Why am I the only one here who seems to appreciate how cool it would be to have a loyal ninja minion?!" Tiny sucked his pacifier.

"You seem surprised by my presence, young ones. That is understandable, considering that you were not told of your clan's ties to me before now," Rayquaza said. "Surely you are wondering why I would require the services of ones such as yourself. Allow me to enlighten you." He shifted his coils and lowered his head to get into a more comfortable position suitable for storytelling.

"Ages ago, an evil dragon threatened to rend my Empire to pieces and burn the world to ash. My strongest armies were thrown against this fiend, and I battled him personally several times, but each clash ended in defeat, for the dragon could not be beaten. He had possession of the cursed scroll, 'How to Live Forever,' and read its forbidden secrets, making him immortal and unkillable. Not even the power of a god like me was capable of countering a force like that. It seemed as if all was lost, and the world was at an end…"

"A scroll of immortality, huh?" Leo murmured, looking intrigued.

"Leo, don't get any ideas," Pikachu warned him.

"And if you do get any ideas and try to act on them, I will have to kill you. None may touch the scroll," Dawn said.

"Eep," Leo said, knowing she would carry through on her promise.

"And then a group of heroes stepped forward. They were five sibling ninjas, not too different from yourselves. The evil dragon had destroyed their homes and families, and they swore vengeance against him. But how could they kill something that could not, apparently, be killed?" Rayquaza smiled. "Because as true ninjas, they understood the balance of life and death. How everything that lives can die, even the immortal. It was just a matter of finding the right way to do it. As the wicked dragon demolished country after country and repulsed my forces again and again, the ninjas raced against time to discover the monster's Achilles heel, certain that one existed.

"And they were correct! Just as there was a scroll that bestowed the power of eternal life, so too was there an antithesis, a scroll that told how to destroy one who lives forever, a document penned by the same author entitled 'How to kill an immortal.' The evil dragon had snatched up this scroll, fearing it could be used against him, and hidden it in a mighty fortress at the ends of the earth, guarded by traps and spells and an army of thousands of the most vicious and bloodthirsty monsters and barbarians that ever lived. Undaunted by the odds set against them, the siblings trained themselves to the peak of physical, mental, and spiritual perfection, becoming ninja masters the likes of which the world had never seen before, and so far has not seen since. Using their skills and mastery of ninjutsu, they infiltrated the dragon's fortress and stole the vital scroll. With its guidance, they were able to craft a weapon capable of either killing an immortal outright or at the very least stripping them of their power and leaving them merely mortal. Their task complete, they awaited the opportunity to use their weapon against the slayer of their kin.

"They did not have to wait very long. Soon enough, the final battle between my forces and the evil dragon drew near. As our armies clashed, I dueled the beast in the air, fighting harder than I had in many millennia. But no matter what wounds or blows I dealt, my nemesis's strength never flagged, his injuries healing almost as soon as I inflicted them. It seemed as if all was lost…

"And then, from out of nowhere, the five ninjas struck, driving their weapon into a vital juncture and sending its piercing magic into the evil dragon's body. He roared in pain as its power washed through him, destroying his immortality…and allowing me to deal the final blow, rending him limb from limb and finally tearing off his head between my jaws! I suppose I might have gotten a little carried away," he admitted. "But I really wanted to make sure he wasn't going to come back."

"Sounds sensible to me," Ash acknowledged.

"To thank the ninjas for their aid, I made them my vassals and granted them great power and honor," Rayquaza continued. "Each of them wound up founding their own clan, each of which was answerable to me, and assisted me in running my Empire from the shadows, as is proper for ninjas. Your clan, the Dragon's Claw, is one of those…did you never wonder before why you had a name like that, even though none of you were dragons?" From the Mareepish look on some of the ninja trainees' faces, it was clear that most of them had not thought about this.

"When the evil dragon was slain, the twin scrolls of power were separated," Aya said.

"'How to live forever' went to our clan, the Dragon's Claw…" said Iya.

"While 'How to kill an immortal' was entrusted to the Dragon's Toe," said Koga.

Leo blinked. "Wait a second…the Toe? But weren't those guys…"

"Unfortunately, the latter scroll was lost to history after the Toe clan rebelled against Rayquaza and set out under the leadership of the wicked Slicer to try and etch out a kingdom of their own. They met their fate at the hands of a group of teenage mutant ninja Squirtles from another world, however, and their line was put to an end. The scroll was never recovered, however," said Nuken.

"Whoa, I thought so! The Toe are those guys who lived in the castle near Turtle Town before Tiama moved in! So _that's_ where they came from!" said Leo. "And I guess that explains why you were wearing that armor too, because of your clan's relation to the Slicer and the Toe!"

Dawn nodded. "That is correct. The title and mantle of Slicer was initially given to the greatest of warriors among our kind, but it fell out of use after the last one became evil and turned on his master. There hasn't been another Slicer for hundreds of years."

"Probably a good thing," Leo said.

Pikachu's jaw dropped. "Teenage mutant ninja…you mean that story was _true?!_"

"I told you, didn't I?" Leo laughed. "Ha, you shouldn't doubt me so much! I know what I'm talking about!" Pikachu's eye twitched.

"Teenage mutant ninja Squirtles? I do not understand," Lily complained.

"I'm not sure you really want to," said Ash. Tiny sucked his pacifier.

"The Dragon's Toe clan is not the only one that is no longer with us…" Aya said sadly.

"The Dragon's Tail clan died to the last mon decades ago to destroy an enemy nation that sought to throw the Empire into war and chaos," said Iya.

"And the Dragon's Wing clan…disappeared a few hundred years ago under mysterious circumstances," Koga said after a moment's hesitation.

"Leaving only you, the Dragon's Claw, and my brother's clan, the Dragon's Head, to serve our liege," Nuken said.

"Which makes your primary goal, to protect the scroll 'How to live forever' and make sure that it is never used for evil means, even more important than ever," Rayquaza said. "For without its counterpart, 'How to kill an immortal,' if should someone read that scroll and gain its power, it would be almost impossible to stop them."

"Would that really be such a bad thing, though?" someone spoke up abruptly.

The room went still, dangerously so. The trainees stiffened and glanced in horror at Paul, who was of course the one who had spoken up. The younger Dawn gave him a shocked look and took a few steps away from him in case the loud-mouthed Sneasel was about to suffer the wrath of Rayquaza (or worse, the elders) for speaking out of turn. Paul seemed to be oblivious to the thin ice he was on and glared at Rayquaza, repeating his question. "What's so bad about living forever? You do, after all. Why shouldn't we as well? Wouldn't it make it easier for us to serve you and do our jobs if we didn't have to worry about dying to support your empire? Why must we grow old and die, like everyone else? We have power over life and death. Shouldn't we use it on ourselves rather than keeping it out of _everyone's_ hands?"

"No," Rayquaza said bluntly.

Paul blinked. "What? But why?!"

Aya and Iya abruptly flew in front of Paul, blocking him from Rayquaza's gaze (and breath attacks). "We apologize for this outburst, Your Excellency-" Aya started.

"He's been saying odd things lately, he usually knows better than this-" Iya said.

"We will make sure he gets a suitable punishment for this-" Aya said.

"What, for asking a question?!" Paul snapped. The other ninjas winced, knowing the Sneasel was only digging himself deeper.

"For acting in a dishonorable manner towards your lord and master and insulting our way of life!" Iya shouted back.

"No, it's all right," Rayquaza said, surprising everyone. "It is a fair question, and one that deserves an answer, though I am somewhat surprised it needs to be asked at all. While I'm sure your teachers could lecture you about how using the scroll goes against the ninja code and your philosophy regarding life and death, I can see that you are still young and have not yet absorbed these deeper truths. The answer is simple: the scroll cannot be used because it is dangerous. While it grants immortality, it does…things to the mind of the person who reads it. That evil dragon I told you about just now? He used to be a close friend and confidante of mine, a researcher and scholar. But after he discovered and read the scroll, he went mad and tried to destroy the world! Can you imagine what would happen if the same thing happened to a warrior already trained to fight and kill? Or worse, to a ninja, who can do the same thing but so stealthily and quickly you never know they're there until it's too late? And since the scroll needed to counteract such a dangerous mon is still missing, it would be almost impossible to stop him or her from possibly killing hundreds of innocent people."

"You see? Even if you had the scroll, it would be too evil for you to use, and you said that if you were to attain immortality, it would only be through moral means," Pikachu said triumphantly to Leo.

Leo sighed. "Yeah, I know. Oh well, I'm sure I'll find a way sooner or later that won't require me to sell my soul."

"And then of course there's the politics to consider," Nuken said. "While _officially_ the Draconian Empire has no ninja corps, quite a few people suspect or outright know that we do. That's bad enough, but how do you think they would feel if they knew we had _immortal_ ninjas? Not just merciless assassins who can literally be hiding in any shadow, but ones that can't be defeated or driven off by any means? Our allies would panic and turn against us. There would be war. We would be called upon to dismantle and even _destroy_ the lot of you…and we wouldn't want that, now would we?" The way he said this implied that everyone had better agree with him if they knew what was good for them. Paul, irritatingly, did not.

"Then why are they okay with us having Ninjask or Shedinja ninjas who live forever?!" Paul protested.

"Because we don't," Aya said.

"We only live as long as we don't get killed," Iya said.

"Or so long as our soultwin still lives," Koga said.

"And a smart and skilled enough target can manage to do just that: kill us," said Nuken. "Therefore, we aren't immortal as much as really long-lived so long as someone doesn't kill us. We aren't gods. Just ninjas different from the others."

"Ninjas are not meant to be gods," said Aya.

"That is why we must always have a master," said Iya.

"For if we were our own masters…what would stop us from being tempted to misuse the power and skills that we have been given?" Koga asked.

"Even the strictest adherent to our code of honor may be tempted to…bend a few rules if there was nothing to stop them from doing so," said Nuken. "And it can be a very slippery slope downhill from there. We already walk the dark path close enough as is. It would be far too easy to trip and lose our way…"

"Which is another reason why we cannot be immortal," Koga said. "Without the certainty of death at the end of the road for all of us…what would keep us in check?"

"You should probably be paying more attention to this," Pikachu said to Leo.

The Squirtle rolled his eyes. "That's only for ninjas. I'm not one, so their philosophy doesn't apply to me."

Dawn frowned. "If it is immortality you seek…I disapprove, but indeed, you are not a ninja, so that is up to you to pursue."

"Glad to have your permission," Leo said sarcastically.

"Could you guys stop interrupting? I want to listen to this!" said an annoyed Ash. Tiny sucked his pacifier in agreement.

"But-" Paul bit his tongue before he could finish his sentence, aware that he was pushing it by now. Even so, the unasked statement, _But I don't want to die,_ hung in the air.

"None of us wants to die, but it will happen eventually, so we make peace with it," Nuken said.

"Death comes to all things…even gods, sooner or later," Rayquaza said, a hint of sadness in his voice…and there was a strange look in his eyes as he said that, like he knew from experience. But that was impossible, Rayquaza could never have died, otherwise he wouldn't be talking to them, right?

"Ash would know all about that, right?" Leo asked, causing Ash to flinch.

Pikachu frowned. "Leo, is now the time to bring that up?"

"Hey, she has to learn about it sooner or later," Leo said.

"What do you mean?" Dawn asked.

"Ash killed five gods in a past life," Lily said.

"That we know of," Leo added. "Including Darkrai."

Dawn stared at Ash in astonishment. "You _killed_ Death?! Impossible! How did you-"

"Look, it's not something I really want to talk about right now, okay?" Ash snapped. "Can we just finish this memory and move on to the next one?"

Dawn glanced down at the hall for a moment. Paul was looking sullenly at the ground while Rayquaza had changed the subject and was speaking more about the duties and responsibilities the future ninjas owed to the Empire, while her past self gave him a concerned look and Aya and Iya glared at him with promises of retribution. "We are finished here," she said after a moment. "After everything was explained to us, Rayquaza and his attendants, including Grandmasters Koga and Nuken, departed, and shortly after we began prepared in earnest for our graduation exam." Gesturing for them to follow her, Dawn walked to a door on the other side of the balcony. Lily glanced one last time at the Shedinja who was apparently her father (and the Ninjasks and other Shedinja who were apparently her aunts and uncle) before following the others.

They went through the door and found themselves in the middle of a massive library with shelves several meters tall towering towards the vaulted ceiling, ancient scrolls and tomes crammed on them and frequently removed, replaced, and tended to by nimble ninja librarians. There was a clear space in the middle of the library with several knee-high tables scattered on the floor, and the trainee ninjas they had seen in the hall were sitting around each of them, poring over countless texts and documents. Dawn walked towards one table, where her past self was sitting, determinedly studying. "Since we knew this would be the greatest test of our skills and knowledge to date, we studied and trained day and night for the final exam, knowing that our futures quite literally depended on it. While I knew the risks, I was confident in my ability to succeed and was certain that I would be ready. Paul, on the other hand…" She walked to the other side of the table where an utterly exhausted-looking Sneasel was seated, books and parchments piled in stacks all around him so high it looked like they might fall over and crush him at any second. Anxiety and desperation clear in every line of his body, Paul frantically tore (sometimes literally) through the texts, scanning as many as three at a time and looking like he would collapse at any moment. The past Dawn shot Paul a concerned look from across the table and tapped something to him in clickspeak, but he didn't seem to notice. "The seed of fear had taken root in his heart," Dawn said sadly. "The fear of death. Even though nobody had died of the exam in years, Paul knew very well that there was always a chance that it could happen to him. The fact that he was already top of the class and had never been defeated by any other student, even the older ones, wasn't enough. His fear of dying became so great that he constantly studied and overprepared, trying to prepare for every contingency, every possibility, everything that could happen during the test."

"Sounds like me. Except I actually succeed at preparing for everything, unlike Paul, who clearly went insane and…well, I know it's obvious by now what he did, but I don't want to spoil it for everyone else," Leo said.

"You're prepared for everything," Pikachu said doubtfully. "Really."

"Yep," said Leo.

"What if a meteor were about to hit you?" Pikachu asked.

"I'd use my computer to hijack a laser satellite and blast it out of the sky, or let Rayquaza take care of it," Leo said.

"What if you were surrounded by a bunch of assassins who've been hired to kill you?" Pikachu asked.

"I'd bribe them to kill the guy who hired them, or get Ash to beat them up," Leo said.

"I probably would," Ash admitted.

"What if you had a heart attack?" Pikachu persisted.

"I have heart medicine in my shell and have trained myself to be able to take it in spite of any seizures I might be having at the moment," Leo said. "And I can perform CPR on myself too, which isn't easy, let me tell you!"

"What if you were falling off a cliff and there were no convenient branches to grab onto or any Flying Pokemon to swoop down and save you?" Pikachu asked.

"I have both a parachute and a hang-glider, and would use either one of them depending on how high the cliff was," Leo said.

"What if you were trapped in a small room underground, air was running out, and the ceiling was going to cave in?" Pikachu asked.

"Uh, I can Dig, remember?" Leo pointed out.

"…Oh, right," Pikachu grunted.

"What would you do if my mother tore your skin off and froze you in a block of ice and enchanted you so you were conscious the whole time and in constant agony and she only let you out once a decade either to do magical experiments on you or to take you to her room where she'd do…something to you, I don't know what, but it involved a lot of screaming, and I often heard someone crying for hours after she was done, and I don't think she has tear ducts, so it must have been her victims, and when they got frozen again the next morning they had this look of utter horror and despair on their faces and were bleeding from between their legs for some reason," Lily rambled.

They stared at her for a long moment. "I'd…have to get back to you on that, but I'd probably blast her with my Thermonuke before that could happen," Leo said finally. "And run. Very far. As fast as I could. Which isn't fast, mind you, so maybe I'd be better off Digging. I can do that pretty quickly."

"Do you know what it was she was doing to them? I've always wondered," Lily said.

"That's, um, something we'll talk about some other time," Ash said uneasily. _Geez, how is it that every story Lily tells us about Bellum only makes her eviler than the last one?!_

"Seriously, how can one Pokemon be that evil?" Pikachu wondered. "Where do the Nihilators _find_ these people? How have they not been struck down for the crime of _existing_ by now?!"

_Maybe I should count my blessings that Bellum was not among my torturers,_ a disturbed Dawn thought to herself. "Anyway," she said out loud. "Despite all of his preparations and training and studies, Paul still could not rid himself of that niggling terror that it wouldn't be enough, and that he would die. And that fear of death…consumed him." The memory-Paul abruptly fainted face-first into the book he was reading, causing the younger Dawn to leap up and rush to his aid. "That fear drove him to do the one thing he was sure could keep him from dying…to steal the scroll 'How to live forever.'"

"Yep, saw that coming," Leo said.

"I think we all did," Pikachu said.

"I didn't," Lily admitted. Everyone stared at her. "What?" Tiny sucked his pacifier.

Dawn started walking away from the table and her past self, heading off into the maze of shelves. "It was not clear at first that Paul was responsible," she commented as the stacks and shelves towered on either side of them. "The scroll vanished in the middle of the night, right under the noses of the guards. Everyone was thrown into a panic. Something like this had never happened before. How could this have happened? Had somebody somehow infiltrated our stronghold? Had one of our own turned against us? Nobody knew what to believe or who to trust. Fear and uncertainty gripped everyone…

"Except for Paul. He seemed…different. Even more than before. Harsher and crueler. Initially I thought it was a reaction to the stress of the exam and the theft, or him finally getting over his fear of death…until I remembered how he had behaved over the last few days. Of the questions he had demanded of Rayquaza. Of the look in his eyes when he heard the story of the forbidden scroll…and I knew there was only one thing I could do."

"You turned him in?" Ash asked quietly.

Dawn nodded. "I told the elders of my suspicions. His room was searched and the scroll was found. Paul was promptly apprehended, tested to see if he had gained immortality and wasn't being framed for the theft, and was brought before the elders for judgment."

"That must have been a very hard thing for you to do…" Pikachu said.

Dawn closed her eyes. "He was my best and first friend. Betraying our friendship was one of the most difficult things I have ever done…but duty must come before friendship."

Lily frowned. "What does that mean?"

"It means if you have to choose between helping a friend or doing what's right, you should do what's right," Leo said. "No matter how hard it might be."

Lily blinked. "But isn't helping a friend the right thing to do?"

Leo sighed. "Not always."

They reached the end of the bookcases. They stepped out of the aisles…

And, much to their surprise, found themselves in what seemed to be some kind of courtroom or audience hall. The floor and several balconies and terraces on upper levels were packed with other ninjas. Anywhere else they'd be jostling each other to get a better view, but apparently they were better trained here, instead they just calmly climbed up on top of taller Pokemon to see what was getting on. Murals and hanging scrolls of famous ninjas from the past covered the walls, and a painting of Rayquaza rampant hung on the back wall just above a dais upon which Aya, Iya, and several other older and clearly important ninjas sat cross-legged on mats. The younger Dawn, Ayako, and a male Sneasel who was probably her (foster) father stood to the side.

Paul kneeled before the elder ninjas, though not by choice. At least a dozen other ninjas had driven spears and poles and hooks and chains into him to pull him around and keep him from escaping, his regenerating flesh keeping them from causing too much damage, but also preventing the wounds from healing since the intruding objects were still inside of him. Just looking at the Sneasel told Ash that something was different about him. There was an air of pure malice and hatred surrounding his form. He looked quite a lot like the Paul he remembered, the one who had come close to killing him during the Mt. Battle tournament. A Weavile who bore a family resemblance to Paul stood near the front of the crowd closest to the dais, and Ash realized that it must be Reggie, Paul's older brother. A memory flashed through his mind of a tall, purple-haired kind-faced young man who had won more badges and trophies than Ash had ever dreamed of before retiring early to take up Pokemon breeding, something his younger sibling had never forgiven him for. It never ceased to amaze Ash how different brothers could be.

"Paul Yami," Aya spoke up over the snarling and rattling of chains caused by Paul struggling against his bonds. "Do you know why you have been brought here this day?"

"Because you're afraid of me," Paul sneered, red eyes gleaming with madness. "Because I represent a threat to your power and your control over this clan."

"That you are," Iya agreed. "And also because you have broken one of our most sacred laws: you have stolen and read from the forbidden scroll."

"What, so I'm being punished for the crime of _reading_? That doesn't seem especially fair!" Paul growled.

"It's not the act of reading so much as _what_ you read that's the issue," Aya said.

"You were told of the dangers of reading 'How to live forever' by not only us and Grandmasters Koga and Nuken, but His Excellency Rayquaza himself," Iya said.

"And in spite of this, you read the scroll anyway!" Aya said.

"Why?" Iya asked.

Paul grinned fiercely. "Death and slavery is all we talk about…how we bring death, how we must die to balance the lives we've ended, how we must bind ourselves to masters and obey some stupid code…why should we do that? We are ninja! We hold power over life and death! We walk the path of darkness! Why must we be subservient to another's will? Why should we subjugate ourselves to the bonds of mortality when the key to eternal life is literally within our grasp? We could rule from the light, rather than slinking in shadows! We could be masters, rather than the mastered! The only thing that stands in our way is our refusal to stray from outdated traditions…because we are too afraid to see what we are _really_ capable of!" He laughed. "But I'm not afraid…I had the courage to do what none of you dared, and now I am the greatest ninja that ever lived!"

"What you are," Aya said. "Is a fool."

"We are afraid," Iya admitted. "Afraid to become monsters."

"Which is all that you are now," Aya.

"And we know how to deal with monsters…" Iya said.

Paul sneered. "And how do you expect to do that? I am an immortal ninja! You have trained me how to escape from any prison…and you cannot destroy me! There is nothing you can do to stop me!"

"Incorrect. We have cells in the dungeons that not even a ninja can escape from easily," Aya said.

"And as for your immortality…you forget there is still one thing that can end it," Iya said.

Paul scoffed. "What, 'How to kill an immortal?' That has been lost for centuries!"

"We know," Aya said.

"Which is why we are going to find it," Iya said.

Paul started. "Wh-what?"

"We know the Toe clan had the scroll in their possession before their defeat. If we retrace their steps, we may be able to find it," Aya said.

"We are forming an expeditionary force to seek out and find the scroll. And after she has taken her exam, Dawn Hikari will be among its members," Iya said.

Paul's eyes widened in surprise. "What? Dawn?! But…but why…"

Dawn stepped forward. _It is a reward,_ she tapped. _For bringing your behavior to the attention of the elders and revealing what you have done._

Paul gasped. "It was you?! But…Dawn…why, I don't…I thought we were…"

_Friends? Yes, and it is because we are friends that I will take part in the mission to end your unnatural life,_ Dawn replied angrily. _The Paul I knew died the minute he broke our vows and used the evil scroll upon himself. All you are is a monster that needs to be destroyed…and I will be glad to rid our clan of your existence. Better the killing blow come from a friend, from one who knew what you used to be best, than from a stranger._ Ayako and Dawn's foster father nodded proudly at her.

Paul sagged against his bonds, looking shocked. "Dawn…you…I never thought that you would…" His eyes flashed and he surged up, bristling with rage. It was all the other ninjas could do to hold him back. "You bitch! I'll kill you for this! I'll kill you all!"

"Take him away," said Aya. "To await his execution."

"We do not wish to see him until then. The reminder of the potential he represented, the future he has squandered, hurts too much," Iya said.

"Damn you all! I will kill all you cowards for this! You will pay for this treachery!" Paul roared as he was dragged from the room. "I will bring this fortress down upon your heads! I won't rest until the Dragon's Claw goes the way of the other clans that groveled to that worm Rayquaza! I shall show you what a _real_ ninja is capable of!" Reggie winced and looked away, unable to bear what his brother had become. Dawn closed her eyes and shook her head sadly as her parents put their claws on her shoulders.

"You agreed to help kill your best friend? Mon. That's cold," Leo commented.

"He was not my friend anymore. And as I said…better he be killed by someone who knew and respected what he used to be rather than a stranger that wouldn't care," Dawn said. Ash frowned at this, a thoughtful look on his face. Tiny glanced up at him, puzzled by what he was sensing from him.

"I take it that the expedition never got off the ground, though, considering that Paul's still around and your clan is…" Pikachu trailed off.

"Dead? Yes," Dawn said.

"What happened?" Lily asked.

Dawn led them out of the room and down a hallway. "We took Paul's threat seriously and put him under heavy guard. We did not realize until too late where the true danger lied. In the meantime, I took the graduation exam and passed with flying colors, getting the best score in years…though I was sure that if Paul had been there to take it too, if he had not betrayed us all and read the scroll, he would have done even better. I began to prepare for the expedition to find the way to kill Paul…" She clenched her paw into a fist. "And then it was all rendered moot, because Paul escaped."

"How?" Ash asked.

"Reggie. His weak heart was overcome with guilt, and he blamed himself for letting Paul turn out the way he did. He released Paul from his prison and told him to run far away and never come back." Dawn narrowed her eyes. "Paul repaid his kindness by killing him, and then proceeded to destroy everything we held dear."

"That bastard…" Ash growled.

"How did he manage that, though?" Pikachu asked. "I mean, yes, he was immortal, but he was still one ninja. Wouldn't the greater numbers of more experienced ninja have been able to bring him down? And Leo, don't even dare bringing up that 'conservation of ninjutsu' crap." Leo scowled in disappointment.

"You are correct," Dawn admitted. "Even with immortality, on his own Paul would not have been able to defeat us all. Which is why he was _not_ alone. He had never intended to let us live. Before he was arrested, he sent out messages to the leaders of all the local barbarian tribes whom we had managed to tame and keep in check over the years, telling them about all our secret passages and escape tunnels, all our traps and holes in our defenses, everything they would need to know to stage a successful siege of our stronghold. When Paul escaped from the dungeon, he sent up a fireworks signal to the hordes advancing up the mountain, slaughtering the gate guards and opening the doors to let them in." There was an explosion off in the distance, and the corridor shook. Dust and pieces of timber fell from the ceiling, and fires burst to life all over the place.

"Yikes!" Leo yelped, leaping back from a flame that had appeared right next to him.

"Um, should we be worried about any of this?" Lily asked anxiously.

"Remember, it's not real, so it can't hurt you if you don't let it," Ash said. "I guess this means we've entered the memory of the attack?"

Dawn nodded as the sounds of fighting and screaming slowly grew in volume somewhere nearby. "They surged through the gates like a flood. Our usual emergency procedures were useless. When the old and the sick and the children were rushed into the escape routes, they only found claws and swords and fangs awaiting them. I and the other graduates joined the fight against their main force…but when I heard that Reggie was missing and that the Grandmasters had been slain, I realized that Paul must have escaped, and this was nothing but a diversion to cover his tracks. I broke off from the fighting and started searching the fortress for him. It wasn't very hard…" She paused as they came to a horribly mangled corpse lying on the ground. "I just had to follow the trail of blood."

They looked down the burning, shaking hallway. There were more bodies lying all over the place, some of which had been ripped apart or cut into pieces. Blood was splattered everywhere, and a veritable river of it led into and then out of a doorway on the side of the corridor ahead of them. "My parents," Dawn said, pushing the door open to reveal what was inside. "Were among his victims."

They stared for a long moment at the…the things the sobbing Buneary inside the room was kneeling besides. Finally, Pikachu said, "When you kill Paul, I'm going to help you."

"So will I," Ash said quietly.

"I didn't know you could do that to a person," said a rather pale Leo. He felt like throwing up, but since he didn't actually have a stomach or anything to fill it, there was nothing for him to regurgitate, so he had to make do with feeling very ill.

"I did," Lily said. Tiny sucked his pacifier.

Dawn closed the door. They continued down the hallway, following the trail of blood. The shaking, yelling, and fires started to get worse. "In spite of my grief and rage, I still retained clarity of purpose. I knew I had to find Paul, and even if I couldn't kill him, I would do whatever I could to stop him and make him pay for what he had done. Even without the trail of blood to mark his path, I already knew where he was going: to once again take the scroll 'How to live forever.'"

"What? But I thought he already knew how to live forever. Why would he still want that thing?" Ash asked.

"That's the same thing I asked him, when I confronted him," Dawn said. They went up a burning staircase, moving around the flames and doing their best to remind themselves that they weren't real. At the top they found a doorway and the end of the blood trail, terminating in a great puddle a half-dozen corpses were lying in. They stepped over the bodies and entered the doorway, finding themselves in a small square room that was very brightly lit. It was so bright, in fact, that there were no shadows, which was probably a good anti-ninja defense. Other than the broken and dismembered forms of various lethal traps littering the floor, the room was bare save for a small pedestal upon which a scroll rested. A Weavile stood before the pedestal, a greedy look on his face.

"Hey, it's Paul!" Leo realized.

"But when'd he get the chance to evolve?" Ash wondered.

"He stole a Sharp Claw from storage after his escape. It evolved him and made him even stronger than he had been before," Dawn said.

"I can vouch for that," Ash said, remembering how badly Paul had defeated him before.

Paul reached for the scroll…then paused and thrust an arm out behind him, nearly skewering the younger Dawn, who had been about to impale him from behind with an ice sword. She flipped over his head and landed in front of him, lunging forward with blade and claws. Paul's claws flashed to meet hers, and the duo exchanged a flurry of rapid-fire blows before backflipping away from each other, landing on opposite sides of the room. Paul smirked. "I take it you saw my handiwork."

_Why?_ The younger Dawn clicked, her form trembling with rage.

"They got in my way," Paul said. "That, and I knew it would hurt you."

"Asshole!" Leo yelled.

"He can't hear you," Lily said.

"I know, that's why I'm doing it. If I did in real life, he'd kill me," Leo said.

_You've taken revenge on those who you feel betrayed you. You've killed the elders and doomed our clan. What do you want with the scroll? Hasn't it already given you everything you wanted?_ Dawn asked.

"Not quite," Paul said. "What's the fun of eternal life if you have nobody else to share it with? I'm going to take that scroll and use it to create others like myself…saving people from the fear of death and giving them a limitless future to do whatever they please. I will create a clan of my own, one which shall live forever and answer to no god or mortal!"

_Except for you, that is,_ Dawn said. _How is that different from the way our clan is run?_

"Because in my clan, everyone will live forever and death will only be something that happens to other people," said Paul. "And I'm not crazy enough to think that I'm a god. All I am…is the greatest ninja who ever lived!" He leaped towards Dawn, claws flashing. Conjuring ice kunai, she rose up to meet him.

"Cooool," Leo said as they began to fight.

"We've seen everything we need to here," Dawn said, pushing a panel on the wall and causing a secret passage to appear.

"Huh? But what about the fight?" Ash asked.

"It's not how it started, but how it ended that matters," Dawn said. "Come on."

"Awww, do we have to? I wanted to see the battle," Leo complained as they reluctantly followed Dawn into the passageway.

"Haven't you seen enough fighting for one night?" Pikachu asked.

"No," Leo said. Tiny sucked his pacifier.

"How _did _the fight end?" Lily asked as they came out into another hallway. The flames and the screaming were worse here, and there were more bodies strewn all over the place.

"I could not defeat Paul. I had never been able to do so when we were still training, and it was even more impossible now that he was immortal. I wanted revenge, but I wasn't stupid, I knew I couldn't defeat him as he was then. So when I saw an opening, I grabbed the scroll and ran," Dawn said. "He pursued me through the fortress, fighting me all the way. Finally, he had me beaten. Or at least…that's what I _wanted_ him to think…"

They turned a corner and saw a bloody and beaten younger Dawn panting on the ground as Paul slowly walked towards her. _No more,_ the injured Buneary clicked. _No more. I give. I can't…I can't do anymore…_

Paul sneered. "Pathetic. I expected more from you, Dawn." He kicked her hard, knocking her against a wall and cracking some ribs. "Then again, you never were able to beat me." A foot shot out and struck her chest, pinning Dawn to the ground. She winced in pain as Paul held a claw to her throat. "The scroll. Give it to me now, and I'll kill you quickly."

_I don't have it,_ Dawn said.

Paul slammed her head into the wall. "You're lying. Give it to me."

_I don't have it. Search me if you like, but I don't have it,_ Dawn said.

"Fine." Paul did search her. It was rather uncomfortable for the others to watch.

"Was it really necessary for him to go there?" Ash asked, somewhat disgusted.

"He was trying to be thorough," Dawn said.

"Ick," said Leo.

Frustrated that she did not, in fact, have the scroll, Paul slammed her head into the wall again. "Where is it? What did you do with it?!"

Dawn managed a weak smile. _I hid it while you were chasing me all over the fortress. You know how big this place is. Even if you retrace your steps, you'll never find it._

Paul slammed her head into the wall. "Tell me where it is!"

_No._

He slammed her head into the wall again. "Tell me where it is!"

_No._

He slammed her head into the wall, harder. "Tell me where it is!"

_No._

He slammed her so hard blood spattered. "_Tell me where it is!"_

_No._

Paul snapped. With a roar of fury, he lifted Dawn off the ground one-handed, spun around, and thrust her into one of the nearby fires. "TELL ME WHERE IT IS!"

Team Aurabolt gaped as Paul held Dawn down in the flames, ignoring how they burnt at his own flesh. Since Dawn had no voice, she could not scream, but from the way she was convulsing in pain it was clear just how much pain she was in. Finally, Paul pulled her out, flung her against the wall, and used a gust of Icy Wind to put out the flames on her body. The heroes winced when they saw her raw burnt flesh, the scars they were sort of familiar with by now beginning to form on her skin. "Tell me where you hid it," Paul said coolly. "Or I'll put you back in there, for longer this time."

_A-all rrright, all r-r-right,_ Dawn clicked, her speech choppy as her muscles spasmed in pain. _I'llll t-t-t-tell you._

Paul grinned cruelly. "Good. Where is it?"

_W-when we passed through Ms. Akane's classroom, I s-slipped it into one of the l-light fixtures on the r-right s-side of the room. It was the fifth one from the left,_ Dawn said.

Paul nodded. "All right." He picked her up again and turned back towards the fire.

_Wait, w-why are you…I t-told you wh-where it is!_ She tapped in alarm.

"I think you're lying just to make me stop hurting you. Let's see if you say the same thing after a few more rounds in the furnace," Paul said, thrusting her into the flames.

When he pulled her out and grilled her again, she gave the same answer. She gave the same answer the next half a dozen times he put her into the fire, too. By this point her skin was starting to take on a rather disgustingly cooked look, and there was very little on her body that hadn't been burned. Leo again felt the need to throw up. "Okay," Paul said when Dawn's increasingly feeble reply was the same as it had always been. "I believe you're telling the truth, or at the very least think you are. That or you're an even better liar than I had imagined."

_I told you what you wanted to know. Please…make it stop…_ Dawn whimpered.

Paul nodded. "Oh, I will. One question, though…why did you give in? I thought you had been taught not to do that. That you would die to defend the scroll from people like me."

_So did I. But…_ Dawn closed her eyes. _It hurts too much. And I…I don't want to die…_

Paul sneered. "So in the end, you're just as scared of death as I was. Just as I thought, in the end honor and duty and promises mean absolutely nothing when your life is on the line. Everything we've been taught is Taurosshit. You realize that too, don't you?"

_Yes. Make it stop…_ Dawn pleaded.

"Oh, I will." Paul stabbed her in the gut and threw her into the fire once again. "'Better the killing blow come from a friend, from one who knew what you used to be best, than from a stranger.' That's what you said, isn't it Dawn? Do you still think so now?" He waited a few minutes, but she never emerged from the flames. He could just make out her still form, fire dancing around her. "Hmmph. Pathetic. I don't know what I ever saw in her." Convinced she was dead, he turned and walked away.

"…Dude," Leo said finally. Tiny sucked his pacifier in agreement.

"…Yeah, okay, he really needs to die," Ash said angrily.

"Then it's a good thing he's not immortal anymore, isn't it?" Pikachu said, gripping his sword. "Because when I cut him in two, he won't pull himself back together."

"How did you survive that?" Lily asked in amazement.

"There were two reasons," Dawn said as her younger self, horrifically burned, finally rose and staggered out of the inferno. "One is that after I passed the graduation exam and was made a full ninja, the elders taught me a few things…secret arts that Paul had never learned about, arts that helped me to withstand the flames and the torment." She smiled as her past self opened a paw, revealing the cursed scroll. "The other…is that I had a reason to live."

"Hey, isn't that…but how'd it survive getting burned up?" asked the surprised Ash.

"It's a scroll of immortality," Dawn said. "Naturally, that means it can't be destroyed."

"Makes sense to me," Leo said.

"So you lied to Paul about where it was hidden, put on a whole act to make him think you'd given up, and maintained that lie even when he _burned you alive_ and was only inches away from where you'd really put it?" asked the impressed Pikachu. "That's…wow. I mean, that's really impressive. I don't know how many of us could have done the same thing. You must have gone through some serious training to be able to do something like that."

Dawn nodded as her past self limped away, clutching the wound in her gut. "That I did…and I grew stronger from that, just as I did from this."

"So what happened next?" Lily asked.

"I made my way to Ninjoy's infirmary and applied as much of the medicine as I could to myself to mend my wounds and get in better shape. And then…I left," Dawn said.

"You left? But…what about everyone else?" the puzzled Ash asked.

"They were already dead," Dawn said bitterly. "Thanks to Paul's intel, the barbarians killed everyone, and then turned on each other as Paul ransacked the place trying to find the scroll, having already figured out that I had tricked him. I knew I needed to get out to protect the scroll as well as find a way to kill Paul for good. So I departed, but not before leaving a parting gift…something else I had been taught for graduating…" She smiled wickedly as the building started shaking violently around them, and snow started bursting out of cracks and coming through the ceiling. "I activated the fortress's self-destruct sequence, intended for use if all hope was lost and we were overrun. The stronghold collapsed on itself, crushing everyone inside, and an avalanche then buried everything that remained, until there was no trace that it had ever been there. Only I made it out in time…but I knew that Paul would dig his way out eventually, so I fled as far and as fast as I could until I finally succumbed to exhaustion and needed to rest. Along the way, I disposed of the scroll…but that is one secret I shall not tell you. It is something I keep even from myself, so that no one may ever find it and use its evil again."

"How did you hide it from yourself?" asked the puzzled Lily.

"Probably hypnosis. Or sleepwalking. Or something like that," Leo said.

Dawn nodded. "And with that burden out of the way, I embarked on my quest for vengeance. Paul had killed my parents and everyone I cared about, and betrayed and doomed our entire clan. I knew I could not stop until I found 'How to kill an immortal' and made him pay for what he did."

"Did that 'not stopping' include not seeking medical attention for your burns, either?" Leo asked. "I mean, you're okay now, obviously, but you still have them, and even though they're bad, they don't look like anything a Nurse Joy couldn't fix."

Ash nodded in agreement. "Yeah, they've healed worse."

"I could have gotten them fixed," Dawn agreed. "But I wanted to keep them. As a reminder of what happened."

"Oh, I see," Pikachu said. "Like how my dad likes to keep all the scars from his fights. Both to show off and tell everyone how many battles he's been in…and also as a reminder of how very lucky he's been on several occasions to still be alive."

Dawn nodded in agreement. "That's part of it, yes. However…I also wanted to keep them as a reminder of my purpose. So that whenever my determination flagged, whenever the road seemed too hard or my goal unreachable, I would look at these scars and remember everything that Paul had done…so that I would be spurred to keep going, so that he would not claim any more victories over me, not even symbolic ones. I swore to myself not to heal these scars until Paul is dead by my hand. Once he's gone, they will no longer serve any purpose."

"Bet you'll be happy to get back to looking like you used to," Ash said.

Dawn shook her head. "My external appearance is irrelevant to me. I have been trained to view my body as a tool of my spirit. A tool can be scuffed up and dented from use and accidents, but if it still works properly, there is no need to rush to get it fixed."

"And that's how you see yourself?" Lily asked. "A scuffed and dented tool?"

"Yes…but one that is still good at its function: killing things," Dawn said.

"Okay, so it's a pride thing. I got that. But…then why didn't you go to the Draconian Empire for help?" Ash asked. "When you passed that exam, you became one of their agents, didn't you? Doesn't that mean you were obligated to report to them to tell them what happened and that you were still alive?"

Dawn hesitated. "…Yes. According to my duty, that is what I should have done."

"Then…why didn't you? Seeing how highly you regard your code of honor," Leo asked.

"That is, perhaps, one of the few rules I have allowed myself to bend…" Dawn confessed. "You are correct. After escaping and destroying the fortress, I should have reported to the nearest Imperial outpost, debriefed my superiors on what happened, handed in the scroll, and waited for reassignment to the Dragon's Head clan. Instead, I hid the scroll somewhere not even I can recall, and set off on a single-minded quest for vengeance, seeking the scroll that could kill Paul on my own, without any allies or support, with any who might have remembered me or cared thinking I was dead. I suppose my actions could have labeled me as a rogue ninja, but I justified my behavior by rationalizing that I was still serving the Dragon God King by finding a way to eliminate a threat to his reign, one that had destroyed one of his clans and would be unstoppable if the proper way to kill him was not found. I was just doing it without Rayquaza's permission. Or knowledge."

"Why did you do all that?" Lily asked. "Wouldn't it have been easier for you to fulfill your mission if you had had help?"

"It would have," Dawn admitted. "But…I had my reasons for staying hidden. Mainly, I suppose I was…afraid."

"Afraid? Of what? Being blamed for your clan's destruction?" Pikachu asked.

Dawn shook her head. "No. That they wouldn't let me be on the team to find the scroll or take on Paul. That I would have to sit back and watch as more experienced ninjas who had never met Paul before, did not know his moves and powers as I did, engaged him…and, quite possibly, dealt the killing blow rather than me, preventing me from ever avenging my clan and exacting my revenge. I suppose that was rather selfish of me, but…what part of vengeance isn't?"

"You seem to be okay with us being part of your revenge now," Ash pointed out.

"That's more out of necessity than choice. I would be much happier pursuing Paul on my own, to be honest…but even now that he has been stripped of his immortality, he still has the advantage of allies, allies I had not known he had before now because I had been focused solely on finding the scroll first and looking for him later, and because there was nobody I could have asked to tell me what he had been up to since last I fought him…namely, joining an organization trying to destroy the world and corrupting himself further by allowing them to turn him into a Shadow Pokemon. When I went up against them on my own, I was captured. If I am to prevent that from happening again, then I have no choice but to join your team so that next time, the odds will be less in his favor."

"That and there's the whole reclaiming your honor thing going with Pikachu," Leo said.

"Right, that too," Dawn said.

Pikachu sighed. "Did you have to remind her of that?"

"Yes," Leo said.

"So, that explains why you were on your own when we first met you and not working for the Draconians, what you were doing looking for that scroll in the first place, and why you want to kill Paul. But what were you doing in the Tree of Beginning? I thought I saw life crystal in that dagger you stabbed Paul with. Did the scroll say you needed it to make him mortal again?" Ash asked.

Dawn nodded. "Yes, though my intention was to kill him, not just weaken him. Were it not for Battlus's Joy's intervention, I am sure he would have died…but I don't understand how I could have missed, I was aiming for his heart! I've stabbed enough people there to know where it is by now."

"Maybe you still had lingering feelings for him due to your past together, and those feelings caused you to subconsciously stay your hand and spared his life out of misplaced sentiment and guilt?" Leo suggested.

Dawn stared at him blankly. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard."

"He's said stupider, trust me," Pikachu said.

"It was just a thought…" Leo grumbled. Tiny sucked his pacifier.

"I thought it was a nice one," Lily said, though she hadn't really understood it.

"So, where do we go from here?" Ash asked the ninja.

"This way." Dawn wiped some snow away from a door and pushed it open. It led to a hallway much darker and dimmer than the ones they had been in previously. The floor was gritty and dank and there were pictures hanging crookedly from the wall. Pictures of Dawn doing…rather unpleasant things.

"I suppose this symbolizes the things you did when you began your quest for revenge against Paul, and let your hatred for him consume you and guide your every thought and motivation, sending you down a dark path?" Leo asked as they passed a picture of Dawn rather brutally beating someone up.

"I already walked a dark path. But to find the answers I needed, I had to walk one darker still…not one as dark as Paul's however. I refused to lower myself to his level," Dawn said as they proceeded down the corridor and the lights grew dimmer and dimmer. "I did my best to stay true to my code…but even while still obeying it, I was able to find ways to do…things. Things I would probably not have done otherwise. Things that left me sitting alone in the dark for a long time afterwards, wondering what I was becoming. There were indeed times where I considered giving up, or at the very least turning myself in to the Empire and asking for help…and then I saw my burns in the mirror, and reminded myself why I could not. I hardened my heart and refused to let anything I did, or anything that was done to me, affect me. It was the only way to do what was necessary to fulfill my mission."

The pictures started getting grittier and creepier. Lily paused in front of one of them. "Leo, what's she doing to that old Pokemon in this one?"

Leo glanced at it and blanched. "Um."

"Why does it look like she's eating part of-" Lily started.

"I'll tell you some other time," Leo said hurriedly. "I'm not sure we should be looking at these. They're sort of…private."

"But we're already deep inside her mind, so I doubt she cares that much about privacy anymore," Lily said. "Considering everything else she's shown us."

"Which is exactly why we should leave her with some secrets after all she's shown us. It's only fair, after all," Leo stammered as he stared very hard at the floor and fought down a blush. When Dawn had said she'd done some dark things, she'd meant it, hadn't she? "Tiny, you stop looking too, you're too young for this stuff!" Tiny glared at him and stubbornly crossed his arms and sucked his pacifier.

"Um…wow. I don't even know what you're doing in half of these things, and I'm not sure I want to," Ash said.

"Like I said," Dawn said quietly, also not looking at any of the pictures. "I did whatever I thought was necessary to fulfill my mission."

"Even so…" Pikachu grimaced. He had actually been warming up to Dawn, but now was being reminded why it was that samurais and ninjas didn't get along. He respected the fact that she adhered to a code of honor, but if that code allowed her to get away with things like this…

Then again, was he one to talk? It wasn't as if everyone in his family had a spotless record. Not all the Thunderblades were chosen to wield the sacred sword. Many succeeded in spite of it and became heroes in their own right, while others…others…

The artwork in his basement didn't represent all of his family's past. There were other paintings hidden in the attic that his father didn't like to talk about, of the lives of some of their blackest Mareep…and the grayer ones, who had done some noble feats through very ignoble means. Raiki had only shown him those pictures once, to remind Pikachu that not all samurai interpreted bushido the same way they did. After all, being good didn't necessarily mean you had to be nice.

He had always wondered if those other members of the family had turned out the way they had because they felt embittered for not being chosen by the sword…or had the sword rejected them because it had sensed something evil in them right from the start? Thunder Fang had been in the family for generations, but nobody really understood the way the mind within the blade worked. Some swords could talk. This one didn't. What would it say, if it could speak? What reason would it give for why it had chosen Pikachu…and why it had believed there was still good within Dawn, despite the rather shocking things she had done in pursuit of revenge? True, there were many acts she had shied away from…but that didn't mean what still remained couldn't be construed as evil. "Um, Dawn, you aren't going to do…any of this stuff now that you're my vassal, are you?" he asked nervously.

"…Do you want me to, Master?" she asked after a moment.

"Not particularly, no," Pikachu said.

"Then I will not," she said. Pikachu wasn't sure how to feel about that. Had she sounded relieved when she said that, or was that just wishful thinking? It was hard to tell with her. She seemed very good at controlling her emotions and facial expressions. It probably came with being a ninja. _Maybe it's for the best that I'm her…master now,_ he thought as they continued down the steadily darkening hallway. _If I can keep her from doing anything like this again…if I can show her some of _my_ honor…maybe she can become a force for good, rather than one for vengeance._

"It took me more than a few years, but I was finally able to find what I needed: the location of the scroll 'How to kill an immortal,' in the old castle that had once been the headquarters of the Toe clan before their defeat at the hands of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Squirtles," Dawn said as they continued on their way.

"Why didn't you just look there first? I mean, if you knew it used to be their hideout," Ash asked.

"I actually did check it out early on, though it was a little tricky getting around the skeletons and baby dragons," Dawn admitted. "However, while I discovered a secret chamber in the library, I lacked the keys to open it, and there was no indication that it contained the scroll instead of some other Toe treasure. It took me until about a month or so ago to find out for certain it had the scroll, as well as how to access it."

"And that's when you first ran into us!" Leo said.

And suddenly they were no longer in the dark hallway, but in the much brighter library of Tiama's castle, looking on as Dawn encountered Ash, Leo, and Pikachu for the first time. "Oh wow, I remember this," Ash said as he watched an excited Leo of the past introduce himself to the bewildered Dawn and ask her what school of ninjutsu she performed.

"Yeah…this is when we first ran into you, on our way to getting the first Star Badge," Pikachu recalled. "That was…certainly an interesting encounter."

Lily glanced back and forth between the past and present Leo. "You were much fatter then," she commented.

"Heh, I was, wasn't I? I guess I've lost a lot of weight since then!" Leo said proudly.

"Well, not that much," Lily said. Leo pouted. Tiny sucked his pacifier.

"I wasn't sure what to make of you the first time I met you…especially Leo," Dawn said. "I'd never met anyone who was so…unafraid and actually _eager_ to meet a ninja before. And the way he seemed to be reading my mind and know so much about my past and my purpose just from looking at me…it was uncanny and more than a little disturbing."

"Yep, that's our Leo," Ash said.

"When it comes to genre-savyness, I can't be beat!" Leo declared.

"And when you agreed to help me, without even bothering to ask for more details on what I was doing…I was astonished," Dawn admitted as she watched the stunned reaction on her past self's face when Team Aurabolt immediately agreed to assist her and positioned themselves around the room to work the controls for the secret compartment. "I had been dwelling in the dark underbelly of the world for so long that I had forgotten that people like you existed. People who did things for others without even asking for a reward. It was…refreshing, actually."

"Ah, and our act of kindness reminded you of what you used to be and put you back on the path towards virtue?" Leo guessed.

Dawn stared blankly at him. "Master, where does he get this stuff?" she asked Pikachu.

"We wish we knew," Pikachu said ruefully.

Leo frowned. "What? It's not that unreasonable. It worked on Lily, didn't it?" Lily blinked. Tiny sucked his pacifier.

They continued watching as the past Team Aurabolt retrieved the scroll, and then started questioning an uneasy Dawn about what she had wanted with it. "You know, if you'd just told us more about what you were doing from the start, we might have been able to avoid a lot of later conflict," Ash commented.

"I didn't want you to get in the way. Besides, I assumed our quests were unrelated. I didn't want anything to do with yours, and saw no reason to get you involved in mine," Dawn said.

"Except that you were wrong and our quests _were_ related," Pikachu said.

Leo nodded. "Funny how that sort of thing happens all the time, isn't it?"

"That seems like an awfully big coincidence," Lily commented.

"Nah, that's just the way these things happen," Leo said.

"Oh, I remember this part!" Ash said eagerly as the past Dawn pulled down her face wrappings and walked towards Pikachu.

"Why, what is she…ooooh," Lily said as Dawn kissed Pikachu on the lips.

Pikachu fidgeted uncomfortably. "Do we have to see this part?"

"Why, you don't want to relive your first kiss with your future soulmate?" Leo crooned.

"Leo, for the love of…she kissed me to distract me and steal the scroll, not because she was attracted to me!" Pikachu snapped. "Right, Dawn?"

Dawn hesitated. "Well…"

"Right?!" Pikachu asked desperately.

"To be honest, Master, if it had been Ash or Leo who was holding the scroll, I would have taken it from them through other means," Dawn confessed. "Something about you interested me, though, so I…well…" She shrugged. "I've had to kiss many Pokemon to get as far as I have, but you're one of the few I actually enjoyed doing it to."

Pikachu's jaw dropped as Leo and Ash grinned triumphantly. "Oh, _come on!_"

"Would it be crass to say 'told you so?'" Ash asked.

"Yes, but who cares? Told you so! Told you so! Told you so!" Leo cried.

"Want to point and laugh at him?" Ash asked.

"Do I!" Leo said eagerly. They pointed and laughed at Pikachu, whose eye twitched.

Lily tilted her head in puzzlement. "Mortals are so confusing…" she muttered. Tiny sucked his pacifier in agreement.

"They are insulting your honor. Shall I kill them, Master?" Dawn asked.

"I'm strongly considering it…" Pikachu growled.

Hearing this, Ash and Leo quickly stopped mocking him. "So, um, after you acted on certain…_urges_ and took the scroll, where did you go?" Ash asked as the past Dawn fled the library, using a smoke bomb for cover.

"The Tree of Beginning, duh," Leo said. "We ran into her there and she helped steal our map back from Tarantulas, remember?"

"Well, yes, but _why_ did she go there?" Ash asked.

"Because the scroll told me to," Dawn said. She tugged on one of the shelved books, causing a bookcase to slide aside and reveal a stone tunnel lit by green crystals.

"It told you to get a life crystal to rid Paul of his immortality?" Lily asked as they entered the tunnel. She noticed that the crystals on the walls each had still images in them of Dawn doing things, like reading the scroll, setting out for a great tree-shaped rock formation, sneaking past (and killing) the occupying Nihilators to get some life crystals, running into Team Aurabolt again…

Dawn nodded. "The scroll said that the weapon capable of killing an immortal would require life crystal for a blade. Not only that, but the crystal would need to be imbued by the scroll's magic, so it would have the ability to nullify Paul's immortality."

"The scroll's magic?" Pikachu asked.

"Just as the scroll 'How to live forever' is itself indestructible, 'How to kill an immortal' has power of its own," Dawn explained. "By exposing properly prepared weapons to it, it can enchant them with the power to kill immortals."

"Oh, sort of like our map needs to be exposed to Star Badges to show the path to the next one," Leo realized.

"Precisely," said Dawn. "I had just finished gathering all the crystals I needed when I ran into you again…that was certainly unexpected."

"We were surprised to see you there, too," Ash said.

"I wasn't," said Leo. The others rolled their eyes.

Pikachu glanced at a crystal they were passing, which showed Dawn gliding out of Tarantulas' ship on a kite with the stolen map. "Did you really help us because you felt you had to repay us for helping you before, or was there more to it than that?"

"Maybe it was to impress her crush and future master?" Ash joked.

"Oh yeah!" Leo laughed and high-threed Ash. Pikachu growled. Lily stared. Tiny sucked his pacifier.

"It wasn't that," Dawn said. "The plight of the Tree of Beginning…it reminded me too much of what happened to my home. I could not stop the Nihilators from destroying the Tree…but at least I was able to assist you in foiling their plans and helping its inhabitants survive, unlike what happened to my own clan."

Pikachu nodded. "I figured as much, from how you stuck around for the mass funeral."

"That was sad…" Leo recalled. "And Michael left us to help his people afterwards. We still have to make Tarantulas and those other assholes pay for what they did…"

"We'll get them some day," Ash promised, thinking of his strange experience with Oblivion's Shadow. "One way or another…we'll make sure they all face justice."

"And my mother, too?" Lily asked hopefully.

Leo nodded. "Definitely! That witch has had it coming for a long time, considering all the crap you've told us about her. Kicking her to the curb for good is gonna be sweet!"

The tunnel gradually changed into a rather familiar hallway. "Hey, this looks like Mt. Battle," Ash observed as he looked at the whitewashed walls, tiled floors, and bright fluorescent lighting overhead. Framed pictures lined the walls, each showing another snapshot of Dawn's memories.

"I remember when we ran into you here…you were living in a box," Pikachu recalled.

"That must have been uncomfortable," Leo said.

Dawn shrugged. "I've slept in worse."

"So have I," Lily said. Nobody felt like asking for details on that.

"I came to Mt. Battle after crafting the weapon I believed could kill Paul. While I hadn't been keeping as close an eye on him as I would have liked due to my search for the scroll—hence why I was unaware of his induction into the Nihilators—I still knew that he competed in tournaments like the one at Mt. Battle frequently to stroke his own ego. After all, how can you call yourself the best in something if you weren't surrounded by lots of people that you could be better than?" Dawn said.

"I bet the fact that Wes kept beating him must have been a serious blow to his pride," Ash commented.

Dawn smiled cruelly. "I imagine it was…as was my defeating him in the ring. I had spent quite a lot of time training and preparing for our rematch. His skills have stagnated due to his overreliance on his regenerative power…but thanks to my life crystal dagger, I made him mortal…and gave him reason to fear death once again."

"Yeah, too bad you didn't kill him outright…um, but I'm sure it'll be a cinch now that he's mortal!" Leo said quickly when Dawn glared at him.

"And he can't become immortal again, right?" Lily asked.

Dawn shook her head. "Not without the cursed scroll. Unfortunately, if he _were_ to get that power again, I would have trouble defeating him again…the Nihilators took it and my remaining life crystals away when they captured me."

"Then it's a good thing I still have some life crystals left from when we went to the Tree of Beginning," Leo said. "But those won't do any good without the scroll?"

Dawn nodded. "That's right."

"Then we'll just have to take it back when we storm Nihilator HQ…I'm guessing that this scroll can't be destroyed either?" Pikachu asked.

"Thankfully, yes," Dawn said.

"Great. Then we have yet another reason to go there," Ash said.

"So, are you going to show us your time with the Nihilators?" Pikachu asked. Dawn stiffened. "Dawn?"

"…You'll see when we get there," she said finally. "Come on. We're almost there."

They reached the end of the hallway, which terminated in a set of double doors. They pushed through them and found themselves in what looked like a frozen wasteland surrounded by towering walls of ice. Paul and Dawn, the latter now wearing white ninja garb, were fighting in the snow while a severely wounded Ash watched from a distance. "Hey, we never got a chance to see this!" Leo said excitedly. "There was too much interference from the snow to watch the battle."

"Wow, Ash, Paul really did a number on you…" Pikachu murmured, grimacing when he saw the condition the past Ash was in. Tiny sucked his pacifier in agreement.

"Yeah, the sub-zero temperatures didn't really help," Ash replied, glaring at Dawn.

She shrugged. "What was I supposed to do, push you out of there? At least I did my best to keep Paul's attention focused on me so you didn't get caught up in the fight."

"Seemed more like _you're_ the one whose attention was focused…" Ash grumbled.

"You were really going all-out, weren't you?" an amazed Lily asked as she watched the two ninjas dance all over the place, blades and claws clashing as they rapidly phased in and out of view. "You were acting a lot like this when you were fighting us, too. Your hatred for Paul is very strong."

"Kind of an understatement," Leo commented.

"I don't think I could imagine hating anyone this much," Lily said.

"What, not even your mom?" asked the surprised Ash.

"Mother?" Lily considered this for a moment. "Well…I _fear_ her, yes. But do I _hate_ her? I'm…not really sure, actually…I mean, I hate the idea of returning to her, and I hated those Pokemon who were trying to take me back to her, but…do I hate my mother?"

"Well, there's one branch of psychiatry that says that all women hate their mothers because they secretly have a thing for their parents, but I think that's stupid. Besides, you never even knew you had a dad until recently!" Leo said.

"That's right," Lily said. She grimaced as she recalled what little she had seen and knew of Nuken so far. "And what I feel for him certainly isn't love…then again, I still don't really know what love is, so I can't be sure. Is it possible to love someone you fear?"

"Hmm…that's a tricky question," Leo admitted. "_I_ think so, but I guess it also depends on the sort of love and the sort of fear."

Lily sighed. "This is all so complicated…"

"That's pretty much how everyone feels about love," Leo said.

Pikachu frowned as he watched Dawn and Paul exchanging blows all over the place while the past Ash slowly froze to death. "Dawn, if you had a weapon capable of killing Paul, why didn't you use it right at the beginning of the fight?"

"…Well…I suppose I wanted to show off a little, Master," Dawn admitted. "It's not something that is becoming of a ninja, but I wanted to show him how my skills had improved. How I was no longer someone he could push around or easily defeat. That I had gained strength on my own, without needing to resort to forbidden magic like he had. I guess I had something to prove to him…and to myself."

"And I think you proved it pretty well," Ash said as the past Dawn appeared behind a confused Paul and stabbed him in the back with the life crystal dagger. "He sure won't be forgetting what you did to him anytime soon."

"He must have been really angry, though…did he hurt you a lot when he had you in captivity?" Pikachu asked, already suspecting what the answer was.

"That…is what we are going to see next," Dawn said, turning and walking off into the indoor blizzard. "Come. We're almost at the end."

As they followed her through the snow, Ash paused to glance back at his injured past self. "Don't worry, it gets better from here," he said to the memory. _Or has it, really?_ He wondered as he turned to catch up to his friends.

The battlefield had somehow gotten bigger, and the walls had disappeared, so it felt as if they were walking across a glacial snowfield rather than the inside of an arena. "Are we still inside the fortress?" Pikachu asked, glancing around.

"That depends on how you define 'inside,'" Dawn said.

Ash nodded. "The fortress was a construct representing her heart. So…basically, its interior can look whatever way she wants it to look."

"And contain as much stuff as she wants it to, even if it wouldn't fit in a real building," Leo added. "I love those kinds of places. They're pretty cool."

"What is that?!" an alarmed Lily asked, looking straight ahead.

Blocking their path was an enormous wall of black fire that rose hundreds of meters over their heads and stretched to the horizon in either direction. There was no way around it. "Shadow Aura…" Ash whispered. Tiny sucked his pacifier, feeling…something.

Dawn nodded. "We have faced no resistance up to this point because it was gathering all its power for this…and for the final defense around the door to my heart, something so horrible I can never remember what it is."

"It let us get this far? Wow, it must be really confident with its chances…I'm not sure I like the sound of that," Leo muttered.

"How do we get through?" Pikachu asked, eyeing the black flame uneasily. He gripped his sword. Could he cut his way through?

"We walk through it," Dawn said.

"Oh! That sounds easy," Lily said in relief.

"What's the catch?" Leo asked suspiciously.

"On the other side of this wall are the memories of my torture at the hands of the Nihilators. I was able to keep from being broken thanks to my discipline and ninja training, but even so I almost lost my sanity," Dawn said. "You do not have the same training, and are unaccustomed to thinking of your body as being something different from your spirit. If you see what I saw, experience what I did…it could destroy you."

"Yikes," Ash said. "That doesn't sound good."

Lily frowned. "I have been tortured on an almost daily basis for three hundred years. I could probably handle it."

"Lily, didn't you lose your mind several times during those centuries and only managed to piece yourself back together with the help of your friend B?" Leo asked.

"…That is a very good point," Lily admitted, a look of doubt flashing across her face.

"What does B think of all this, anyway?" Leo asked.

"I haven't heard from her since we got here," Lily confessed. "There's nothing unusual about that, though. She comes and goes without warning. Sometimes I can go years without hearing a peep from her, other times she won't stop talking for months."

"Huh. That's interesting. Since she lives in another dimension or whatever, maybe she sees time differently than we do…" Leo murmured.

"How can we get through if we'll go insane or worse just trying?" Pikachu asked.

Dawn extended a paw. "I will guide you, Master. If you close your eyes and form a chain behind me, I can lead you safely to the other side. Whatever you do, no matter what you might hear or feel, do not open your eyes or let go of each other's hands. I cannot guarantee what will happen to you if you do that."

"But what about you?" Lily asked. "You're not going to close your eyes?"

Dawn shook her head. "I have already lived through these horrors, my lady. They're nothing more than memories to me now, and memories can't hurt you unless you let them. I'll be fine…and so will you, so long as you heed my advice."

Pikachu took a deep breath and accepted Dawn's paw. "All right. You've guided us this far, we might as well trust you to get us to the end. Everyone, form up behind us."

Leo took Pikachu's hand, Lily grabbed his free hand in a hair and allowed Ash to hold onto one of her locks, and Tiny held on tightly to Ash's paw. "Are you all ready?" Dawn asked. "Remember, keep your eyes closed and do not let go of each other. No matter what you might hear in there, remain blind and keep together until we reach the other side. I will let you know when it is safe to open your eyes again."

"Leo, that means-" Ash said.

"I know, mon, I know," Leo said nervously. "No succumbing to my natural curiosity. I got it." Pikachu gave Leo a worried look. The Squirtle's palm was clammy, and he hadn't made a single crack about how Pikachu and Dawn were holding hands, evidence that he was really anxious about this.

"Everyone, close your eyes," Dawn ordered. They quickly complied. "Now…step forward! In we go!" Moving in formation, they walked into the flames.

Later on, when they had a warm bright fire to sit around and plenty of food and drink and no longer shook as much when looking back on that long, dark voyage of the soul, they would comment that the really unnerving thing had been the screaming…or rather, the lack of it. Since Dawn didn't have any vocal cords, she couldn't scream as the Nihilators did…whatever it was they did to her, which was a shame, because her wails of agony might have drowned out the _noise._ All around them, they could hear terrifying sounds. The hissing and pneumatic clanking of Doctor Tarantulas' mechanized body as his legs carted him about and handled instruments of torture whose workings he gleefully and methodically explained to Chobin, Paul, or even his own patient while he was using them on her. Chobin's giggling and snorting and _grunting_ as he did…_things_ to Dawn, things they didn't even want to contemplate, which was rather hard when he was self-narrating so much of it. Paul's slow, monotonous tones as he dug his claws into Dawn's skin, telling her how worthless and stupid she was, how he had always hated her, how she had never been anything but a joke back in training and everyone had always expected her to fail, how she had never amounted to anything and everyone would be so disappointed and disgusted with her and how she should have just died all those years ago to avoid the pain of having to live as such a useless weakling.

And then there were the _other_ noises. The sounds of the Doctor's machines and crawling spider robots. The sounds of Chobin's chewing and licking and molesting. The sounds of Paul doing…it wasn't really clear _what_, but it didn't sound pleasant. They would have nightmares for more than a few nights after this, and one has to wonder if the images Darkrai conjured up in their dreams to match the noises were worse than the real causes could ever be. (They weren't. The real things were much, _much_ worse.)

After what felt like an eternity—and very well may have been—the sounds finally died down and they heard Dawn say, "It's okay now. We're clear."

When they opened their eyes, they saw they were in a small patch of snow encircled by black flames. In the center of the clearing was a set of double doors much like the false gate at the entrance to the fortress, also engulfed in black fire. Strange red sigils flickered across its surface. There was something…unsettling about them.

"Well," Ash said after a moment. "That was…intense."

Leo shuddered. "That's one word for it, yeah. Lily, you okay?"

"What? Oh, yes," the Misdreavus said, looking shaken. "That just…it brought back unpleasant memories. And made some new ones." Tiny sucked his pacifier in agreement.

"How did you survive that?" an astonished Pikachu asked Dawn. "If what they did to you is even half as bad as I'm imagining it was, how did you keep from losing it?"

"Because…as I said before, Master, I had a reason to live," Dawn said. "I focused on that beyond all else. As long as I thought about that, they could not break me."

"But…in the end, they _did_ break you," Leo pointed out. "Otherwise, we wouldn't even be in here now trying to purify you. What did they do that was worse than all that?!"

Dawn frowned. "It's…it's coming back to me now that I'm here again. Yes." She slowly turned towards the burning doorway. "Their leader, Oblivion's Shadow. After he determined that Tarantulas, Chobin, and Paul weren't having any luck, he said he was going to try something else. Some kind of…equation."

"An equation?" Pikachu frowned in puzzlement. "How can an equation turn someone into a Shadow Pokemon?"

"Huh. Now that I think about it, those things over there _do_ look kind of like math," Leo said, looking suspiciously at the sigils over the burning door.

Ash's eyes widened in horror as something he had read about in his book suddenly came back to him. "An equation? Oh no. Don't tell me it was-"

Dawn gasped, her memory completely restored. "The Anti-Life Equation!"

And then the flames surged and the numerical sigils became fully visible, and they suddenly realized why the Shadow Aura hadn't put up much resistance so far: because it hadn't needed to. Because it was so powerful that just revealing the truth at its core was enough to defeat any enemy and intruder who sought to oust it from its host. This was the power that had thwarted Dawn time and time again. This was the power that Oblivion's Shadow had unleashed, the ancient weapon of the Dark Ones. This was the horrible formula known as the Anti-Life Equation.

**Loneliness + alienation + fear + despair + self-worth ÷ mockery ÷ condemnation ÷ misunderstanding x guilt x shame x failure x judgment n=y where y=hope and n=folly, love=lies, life=death, self=dark side**

They staggered back as the Equation slammed into them, crushing their minds beneath the weight of its inarguable truth. They moaned as it poured into their bodies, squashing and drowning every shred of resistance and strength in their forms until nothing remained save what it cared to keep, and the Equation itself, rebounding endlessly through their minds and echoing so loudly they couldn't hear their own thoughts, couldn't work up the courage or strength to argue. And how could they, when faced with something so horribly, dreadfully, depressingly true? Life and free will were pointless. What reason was there to struggle? What reason was there to live or hope or dream? Everything ended in emptiness eventually. Sooner or later, everything became nothing.

"No…" Dawn whispered in horror. "Not again…not again!" She faded away, her mental defense mechanisms kicking in to spirit her away from this place, causing her to awaken outside the fortress of her heart once more with no memory of what she had just seen. It was the only way she could protect herself from being crushed utterly by the Anti-Life Equation, and from being totally overwhelmed by darkness and despair.

Team Aurabolt, however, had no such defenses. They had not been trained in how to resist or evade something like this, an idea as infectious and powerful as the Anti-Life Equation, and were helpless to keep it from breaking and restructuring their minds, dredging up all their memories and forcing them to look at their entire life in a new twisted light that made everything seem worse than it had been in an effort to convince them of the utter futility of living. Shadow Auras began to form around them as their hearts were consumed by despair and sorrow.

Ash realized he was a monster. He had killed gods deserving and undeserving, held a barely contained rage within his heart, and had abandoned his friends at the drop of a hat in service to that rage. His yearnings to be an Aura Guardian, his strivings to become a great and honorable hero and Rescue Team leader, were nothing more than the fragile self-indulgent dreams of a boy who had never grown up and seen how harsh and uncaring reality really was. This was the second time his innocence had been shattered, and the last time he had turned into something horrific. What would he become this time? And to what extent did he really care anymore? If all the laws and virtues he had tried to adhere to were just Clefairytales, as meaningless and empty as soap bubbles, why bother following them, or anything for that matter? They all came to the same thing in the end.

Pikachu realized he was a bully. He scoffed at barbarians and other warriors that fought for power and greed, and believed himself above them because he had a legacy and a magic sword. But in the end, how was he any different from them? Wasn't his vaunted code just another way of enforcing his views upon others? Was his dedication to 'justice' and 'honor' just a way to excuse his atrocities by giving them a less harsh label? What was the point in restraining himself by such lies? Why dedicate his life to following the rules and principles of gods that probably didn't even care, of being a hypocrite? If he was so determined to fight, why should it be on the behalf of those who were weaker than him? Why did they deserve it? In the end, there were no such things as innocents…so why should he bother protecting the guilty as well? If he was going to kill people, did he really need to justify his actions behind the fallacy of 'heroism?' If he really wanted to destroy evil, why not just kill everyone? That would be so much more effective… As if sensing these thoughts, Thunder Fang started crackling furiously, but Pikachu didn't seem to notice, other than the Aura forming around him warping a little. Not even the sacred sword's power was enough to repel this evil.

Lily realized she was a fool. She had tried to deny her true nature, had tried to escape the cruel reality of the world by inventing a make-believe person in her head named B and joining a group of Pokemon she thought were her friends. But there was no such thing as friendship. The only reason people did anything for anyone else was because they were getting something out of it, just as Mother had always said. Her 'friends' were using her like everyone else, and she too was using them to avoid the truth. The truth of how she wasn't a good person and never would be, how she was her parents' daughter and evil to the core, how she should just stop running from the truth and embrace it and become the instrument of destruction she was always meant to be. If friendship and kindness were just lies people used to bind others to themselves, then why should she bother, now that she knew the truth? Was this why Mother was the way she was? Had she known this truth all along? If so, Lily finally understood Bellum's reasoning and behavior…and was starting to wonder if maybe she should stop being a wet Combusken and start acting more like her. There was no escaping her fate. Wasn't that what the chains on her face signified? So why bother trying?

Tiny sucked his pacifier as he realized…nothing. The Anti-Life Equation didn't say anything he didn't know already. It had little if any effect on him, not because he was an innocent child, but because he was already so negative he viewed reality much the same way the Equation wanted him to. There was nothing more it could do to him.

And as for Leo…he realized he was a coward, a child playing hero. What was he thinking, trying to make the world fit the rules of fantasy and fiction? That wasn't the way reality worked. He was no different from the chubby coward who had hid in the basement and played video games as Tiama the dragon feasted on his neighbors and friends. He still believed in concepts as laughable as good and evil, and thought that there were such things as heroes. But heroes weren't real, and never would be, and someone as pathetic and delusional as him _certainly_ wouldn't be one.

Or at least, that's what would have happened if the text scrolling down the inner lenses of his sunglasses hadn't snapped him out of his funk and made him realize a very important fact. "Wait a minute," he said as the shades finished their analysis. "It's wrong!"

"Yes, it is," Ash said sullenly.

"The whole world is wrong…" Pikachu said miserably.

"Everything we've strived for, everything we try to do, is meaningless…" Lily wept.

Leo blinked. "What? No, I mean the Equation is wrong on mathematical and logistical grounds! Look, it uses love as a variable, right? But there are several _degrees _of love. One of them is true love, which is true because it's…well, true love, right? But the Equation says Love equals lies, so it's basically saying _truth_ equals lies, because by using love as a variable it's creating a blanket statement including all love, including the true kind. And truth _can't_ equal lies, so it's a paradox, and if it's a paradox, that means the entire equation is wrong and life _does_ have meaning after all, and you aren't listening to a word I'm saying, are you?" His friends just stared blankly ahead, too lost in self-pity and misery to have heard any of Leo's explanation. And if they had, would they have understood it? The Squirtle's reasoning didn't always make sense to everyone else.

Leo sighed. "Typical. Guess it's up to me to save the day…again." Tiny glared at him and sucked his pacifier. Leo blinked. "Huh? Tiny, you're okay? But why…oh, I get it, it's because you're already so negative the Equation can't make you any worse! I don't suppose _you_ have any ideas on how we can snap them out of it, do you?"

Tiny rubbed his chin in thought for a moment. Then he pulled out his pacifier and bit Pikachu on the tail. There was no reaction. Pikachu didn't even electrify him out of reflex. He was too lost in grief to notice or care. Tiny frowned and shrugged, not knowing what else to do. Leo sighed and scratched his head. "Great…well…okay, let's think this through. If it's the 'Anti'-Life Equation, then logically that means there must be a Life Equation too. So…what is it?" He stared at the burning formula on the door thoughtfully. "Maybe using opposite variables? Um…something like…belongingness plus friendship plus courage plus…um…hope plus…wait, there's nothing inherently wrong with self-worth, is there? So do I include that or invert that or what?"

As Leo muttered to himself and tried to decipher the antithesis to life's antithesis, Tiny frowned, feeling…something. That strange sensation from before, the one he had heard in Twilight's Edge that told him to destroy Yamatorochi's bell, and had been growing steadily louder ever since he had started using Aura more and more. It was urging him to do something. Tiny refused on principle, but it kept nagging and insisting until finally he caved in and toddled over to Ash. He tugged on Ash's copy of _Secrets of an Aura Master_ until it fell out of the Lucario's paws and landed in the snow. Guided by his strange instinct, Tiny cracked open the book and flipped through the pages. He wasn't sure what good a book could do, seeing as he was illiterate and all (or was he?), but the voice seemed to think the secret to curing the others was in there somewhere.

Something gleamed as it flipped past him, and he paused and turned back a few pages. There was something written on a leaf of paper in glowing ink—then again, all the ink was glowing, but this more than the rest—and though Tiny didn't understand it, he thought it looked sort of like the thing on the door, but…_different._ It awakened sensations inside of him. Strange ones. Ones that felt…_good_. The text on the page started glowing brighter and brighter…and then there was a brilliant flash of light that engulfed them all.

Leo blinked and took off his sunglasses to rub his eyes. Even through his shades he had been blinded by the glare, something that had never happened to him before. "Whoa…the heck was that? And why do I feel all giddy and happy all of a sudden?"

"That's…a good question," Ash said, shaking his head to get the cobwebs out. "I feel…strange. What just happened?"

"I remember a great feeling of sorrow and overwhelming ennui…and then there was a light," Lily said, puzzled. "And now I'm…joyous? How odd."

"The same thing happened to me," Pikachu said. "And…" He frowned. "Was I considering quitting being a samurai and going around killing people? What was that?"

"You guys were getting brainwashed by the Anti-Life Equation," a relieved Leo said, walking over to them. "It was making you think that life and free will were pointless and stuff like that, to try and convince you to become evil! I think."

"Oh my…no wonder I felt so awful," Lily commented.

Ash nodded. "Yeah, that sounds exactly like it was described in my book."

"You've heard about it before, Ash?" Pikachu asked.

Ash nodded and picked up his book, dusting some snow off its pages. "Yeah…according to this, during the war between the Aura Guardians and the Dark Ones, the Dark Ones stumbled upon a mathematical proof for the suffering and pointlessness of existence that they used to create incredible Shadow Pokemon, by convincing them that everything was meaningless, so why not destroy it all to ease your own feeling of emptiness and despair? The Aura Guardians realized there was a flaw in that equation, though, and were able to use it to formulate a counterpart called the Life Equation. Using this Equation, they were able to open the hearts of the Shadow Pokemon created by Anti-Life, and eventually defeat the Dark Ones once and for all."

Leo nodded. "Yeah, I figured out the same flaw…though I didn't get quite as far as recreating the Life Equation."

"You were able to notice an error that it took ancient Aura Guardians decades to figure out?" asked an amazed Lily. "How?"

"I'm a nerd, duh," Leo said. "I know tons of stuff about math and logic…enough to know that whoever came up with that Anti-Life thing must have calculated it incorrectly to come up with a result like that!"

Pikachu frowned. "But if you didn't figure out the Life Equation, then how'd we break free from the Anti-Life?" Tiny sucked his pacifier, annoyed that nobody seemed to have noticed how he had been the one to save their tails.

"The Life Equation appears to be in my book. It must have saved us somehow," Ash said. He frowned, puzzling over the pages lying open. "Though I don't remember seeing this page before…"

"It's in the book? What does it say?" Leo asked eagerly, dying to know the meaning of life. Wouldn't you?

"Nothing," Ash said, turning the book to face them, revealing the relevant page was mostly blank. "The two Equations are opposites, so can't exist at the same time in the same person. When the book was opened to this page, the Equations cancelled each other out. When the book's out of the presence of the Shadow Aura here, the Life Equation should reappear…but if the book is removed before Dawn opens the door to her heart, the Anti-Life will come back too."

Pikachu glanced at the door, and was surprised to see that the Shadow Aura surrounding it was indeed gone. "I see…then…does that mean we've cured her?"

Ash shook his head. "No, just made it easier for her to save herself. Even with the Equation gone, we can't open that door…that's something only she can do."

Lily glanced around. "But…where is Dawn?"

"She vanished when the Anti-Life Equation appeared…" Leo said.

Pikachu frowned in concern. "I hope she's all right."

His concern was unfounded, because moments later Dawn stumbled back through the wall of fire around them. "Master!" she cried in relief, rushing over to Pikachu.

"We're okay too, in case you didn't notice…" Ash muttered.

"I apologize for blacking out like that. I have no idea what happened or how I wound up so far away…I have failed in my duty to you. I promise not to leave your side again!" Dawn said, bowing apologetically to Pikachu.

"Um…that's okay. It wasn't your fault. You don't have to stick that close to me…really…" Pikachu said when the Buneary came a little too close to him. Hadn't she ever heard of personal space?

"I do not know what evil separated us…but now that I have returned, I am ready to battle it and reclaim my heart!" Dawn said.

"Too late, we already took care of it for you," Leo said. Tiny glared at him. _We_ took care of it? Wasn't anyone going to acknowledge what he did? It was things like this that made him wonder why he bothered emulating Ash. People were so ungrateful. And stupid. And ugly. And noisy. (Yep, if he got enlightened by the Life Equation, it didn't last long…)

"…You did? Oh," Dawn said, ears drooping in disappointment. "What was it?"

"Something called the Anti-Life Equation, an evil formula that claims all life is meaningless and apparently has the power to turn people into Shadow Pokemon just by hearing it, out of sheer despair," Lily said.

Dawn frowned. "Meaningless? Life? That's a preposterous lie."

"Maybe so, but sometimes people believe lies, especially if they confirm something they've always been afraid of deep down…" Pikachu commented.

"Even so, I am…thankful that you were able to eradicate such a lie," Dawn said. "I can't imagine how I could have believed something like that."

"Probably because math wasn't your best subject back at ninja school," said Leo.

Dawn gave him a surprised look. "How did you know that?"

"Lucky guess," Leo said.

"So what happens now?" Lily asked.

"The Anti-Life Equation isn't gone yet, not completely," Ash said. "Otherwise the Shadow Aura around us wouldn't still be here. The final step is for Dawn to open that door over there and release the power of her heart. That will eradicate the last trace of Shadow within her, and restore her to her true self."

"That's it? That's all I need to do?" Dawn asked in surprise.

Ash nodded. "It's always easier than you think it is."

"And once that door opens, I take it we can go back to our bodies in the real world?" Pikachu asked. Ash nodded.

"Which means you can start enjoying the presence of your eternally loyal lifelong servant for real," Leo said, waggling his eyes suggestively at Pikachu. Pikachu's eye twitched.

Dawn walked over to the door and gripped the handles. She hesitated, and then glanced back at the others. "If this is the last time I will be able to speak to you with a voice…then I want to thank you for saving me. I was angry at first that you intruded here, but now…now I'm not sure I could have done this without your help."

"It was our pleasure," Ash said.

"Totally, we'd have done this sort of thing even if we didn't know you were going to join us after it was over," Leo said.

"And once we're back in the real world and you join us, we can help lots of other people, too!" Lily said cheerfully. Tiny sucked his pacifier, wondering what the point was.

"All right, go on…" Pikachu said, nodding at the door. "We've come all this way…and Briney's probably worried sick by now."

"Nah, I'm sure he thinks we're fine," Leo said. "He's not much of a worrier."

"True," Pikachu admitted. "But even so, I'll be happy to be out of here. Um, not to mean that we haven't enjoyed your company and all," he said quickly to Dawn. Leo and Ash snickered. He glared at them.

Dawn took a deep breath. "All right…here we go…" She opened the door.

And then there was light.

…

When they woke up, it was to the (debatably) friendly face of Captain Briney. "Well, it's about time you lot woke up," he said gruffly as they got to their feet and shook out the pins and needles from having been paralyzed for…who knew how long. "You missed out on all the fun!" He gestured to the several dozen unconscious (and possibly dead) Pokemon lying in heaps all around them.

Ash blinked. "Whoa. Where did those come from?"

"Well, we destroyed a lot of buildings in the fight. Their occupants had to go somewhere, I guess…" Leo said uneasily.

Ash fidgeted, knowing that a good number of those wrecked buildings were his fault. "Maybe we should have been a little more careful…"

"They all came here to gang up on us and make us pay for putting them out on the streets and distracting them from sleeping and raping and doing whatever horrible things they consider fun around these parts. But I showed them what for!" Briney said.

"All by yourself?" asked the amazed Lily.

Briney laughed. "A bunch of hooligans like these? Compared to the mercenaries we just fought, these good-for-nothings were a piece of cake!"

"That doesn't exactly make me feel better...we've probably completely ruined their lives and they're going to be eaten by cannibal children or something," Leo said unhappily.

"Would it ease your conscience to know that just about all of them, in pretty much any other town in the world, would have been sentenced to death a dozen times over for their crimes against Pokemonity?" Briney asked.

Leo considered this for a moment. "Well, maybe a little."

"So…evil people deserve to have bad things happen to them?" Lily asked.

"That is a very good question, Lily. One that I'm not entirely certain of the answer to," Leo admitted. "I guess you could call it karmic justice…or something."

"Ah," said Lily. "What's karma?"

"The belief that the quality of your present and future is determined by behavior in your current and previous lives," Leo said.

"Oh." Lily looked upset. "Then…all the things Mother did to me for the last few centuries…did I do something very bad in the past to deserve them? Does that mean I really _am_ evil deep down?"

"What?! No, that's not what I meant! I mean…um…dang…that didn't come out right…" Leo muttered as he scratched his head, trying to figure out how to talk his way out of this.

_Karma, huh? Then does that mean in the near future I'm going to be held accountable for what I did to Darkrai and Cresselia…and maybe worse?_ Ash wondered, somewhat worried. _If something bad happens to me as a result of that…I hope it leaves everyone else alone. I don't want anyone else to suffer because of my actions in the past…_ Tiny gave Ash a puzzled look, wondering why he sensed such distress from him.

"Ah, and I see you were successful in restoring our friend here back to normal?" Briney asked as Pikachu got off of Dawn and helped the ninja to her feet. He offered a claw. "The name is Captain Thaddeus Irving Briney. A pleasure to meet you, Miss Hikari, and I hope you don't hold my exploding you and dropping houses on you against me. It was for your own good."

"Your middle name is Irving?" Ash asked.

"Yes. Would you like to make something of it?" Briney asked.

"Um, no, not at all," Ash said quickly.

_It is a pleasure to meet you as well, Captain, and I understand you did what you had to do to stop me,_ Dawn clicked. She frowned. _But…how did you know my name?_

"Read it from the minds of the others, naturally," Briney said, causing the others to give him annoyed looks. "And don't worry, I won't tell a soul about any of those secrets of yours. You can count on old Briney to keep his mouth shut."

"But not to stay out of our heads, apparently…" Leo muttered. Tiny sucked his pacifier.

"Oh! Speaking of saving Dawn…Ash, now that her heart has opened, does that mean we can find out what the Life Equation is?" Leo asked.

Ash blinked. "Huh? Oh yeah! I nearly forgot about that!" He pulled his book out of his knapsack and started flipping through the pages. Everyone leaned close, eager to find out what the meaning of life was. (Except for Tiny, who didn't care.) Ash frowned. "Huh…that's funny…"

"Funny as in 'ha-ha' or funny as in 'strange?'" Lily asked.

Leo sighed. "The strange way. Let me guess, it's not there, is it?"

"Nope," said Briney.

Ash shook his head in bewilderment. "I don't understand…this is the exact page it was on. But aside from a brief explanation of what the Life Equation is, it just says, 'the Equation will make itself known to those who seek it in their hour of need.'"

"Well, since we needed it inside Dawn, but we don't now, I guess it's gone until the next time we need it," Pikachu said.

Leo sighed. "Typical deus ex machina. Stupid magic book…Lily, your spellbook doesn't do anything like that, does it?"

She shook her head. "No, the text always stays where it's supposed to…though some of it can only be read under certain conditions. Does that count?"

"Eh, maybe a little…" Leo said.

"Well, I suppose we'll see it again someday, just not right now," Ash said in disappointment, shutting the book and putting it away. He had hoped it could shed some light on his current problems, and get rid of the darkness brewing inside of him. Apparently his need wasn't great enough. Not yet, anyway.

Dawn shuddered and nearly collapsed, drawing everyone's attention away from the disappointment of not learning the meaning of life. "Dawn!" Pikachu asked in concern, helping her back up. "Are you all right?"

_I am…injured from our battle,_ she clicked. _It is nothing, Master. I'll be all right shortly._

"Oh, don't give me that! We need to get you out of here so we can heal you properly," Pikachu said insistently. "We didn't go to all the effort of opening your heart and letting you become my vassal so you could drop dead on us! Lily, you can heal her, can't you?"

Lily nodded. "My magic should suffice, yes."

"I guess this means we're going to have to take a rain check on attacking the Nihilators' underground base," Ash apologized to Briney. "I don't think we're really in any condition to fight them right now."

Briney nodded. "And they've probably fortified themselves by this point…it's going to be tricky to get in there." He shrugged. "Oh well, no reason we can't come back and give them what for after we obtain the Star Badge on Zero Isle. Though I suppose we should probably wait to set sail until after we've gotten a good night's rest. We won't be able to get very far if we leave now, as tired and worn out as we are from all the fighting."

"But if we delay, won't that give the Nihilators time to blockade the harbor? Or destroy your ship?" Lily asked. "That'll make it harder to head out to sea."

Briney smirked. "There's never been a blockade I couldn't smash through…and if they try to destroy my ship, well, let's just say they wouldn't live to regret it. Ever heard of anti-theft security systems?"

"Yes," said Leo.

"Those are nothing compared to what I've got on my ship. I have a lot of enemies, so it only stands to reason I do the best I can to protect myself, aye?" Briney said.

"That makes sense," Ash agreed.

"Okay, Lily, open a portal back to the Cape. That would be the best place for us to rest and recuperate," Pikachu told the Misdreavus, who nodded and tore open a rift.

"Won't Sasha, Tracey, and the Professor be surprised by what we've been up to," Leo said as they started for the gateway. "And how we got two new badass teammates in the same night! That's gotta be a new record. I wasn't expecting the ninja babe to join us until at least the next arc."

"The next what?" Pikachu asked, still supporting Dawn.

"The next arc of our adventures. If our journey were a story, you could divide it into plot arcs, with each arc representing all of the events that occur during a search for one Star Badge," Leo explained. "The last arc was where we picked up Lily, you killed Yamatorochi, and we saved Twilight's Edge. This current arc is the voyage to Zero Isle and the battles against pirates that await us there, with this whole thing where we picked up Briney and Dawn counting as a mini-arc coming to a close. The meat of the true arc will begin tomorrow, when we set sail!"

"Ah," Pikachu said.

_Is he always like this?_ Dawn tapped.

"Unfortunately," Pikachu said.

_If everything that just happened now is a piece of a bigger story,_ Ash wondered. _Then where is it all leading up to? Where and when will the final 'arc' take place? And…who will be the biggest threat at the end of it? Oblivion's Shadow…or me?_

"Oblivion's Shadow," Briney said.

Ash blinked. "What?"

"Oblivion's Shadow will be the bigger threat. If you show any signs of losing it and becoming evil, I'll kill you before it progresses any further," Briney said.

Ash blinked. "I'm not sure if I should be disturbed or gratified by that…or annoyed that you keep poking into our heads! I was having a monologue there!"

"Yes, but you were starting to get angsty, and when that happens, no good can come of it," Briney said. "I thought I should cut you off before you started whining and bemoaning your fate, thinking you're a monster, and wearing black eyeliner and nail polish and maybe cutting your wrists. Once a person gets to that stage, sometimes it's best to just kill them and put them out of their misery." Ash's eye twitched.

"You sure know how to kill a dramatic moment," Leo commented.

"Thanks, I try," Briney said.

_You have a very strange and eclectic group of companions, Master,_ Dawn clicked.

"Yeah, I know," Pikachu apologized. "I know it's probably not what you're used to, but-"

_You misunderstand. I find it rather…refreshing, really,_ Dawn said.

Pikachu blinked in surprise. "You do?"

_I have been on my own for so long, constantly dealing with Pokemon much like the ones in this forsaken town,_ Dawn said. _To be among Pokemon like your friends…who smile and laugh and honestly care for each other, albeit in strange ways…it makes me think of the friends I had back when I was still a ninja trainee. Of the games and fights and pranks we played, and the things we did when our teachers weren't looking. It reminds me of home…or how it was before…_ She trailed off.

"…You have a new home now," Pikachu said finally. "With us. We'll be your friends. Your family. The people you can count on to be there for you. We won't abandon and betray you like Paul did. A Rescue Team never does that to its members."

_I know. And I'm glad. I think…I think I'm grateful that you didn't kill me, even when I all but asked you to do it,_ Dawn said.

"You know that, even if I had been physically capable of it, I wouldn't have, right?" Pikachu said.

She nodded. _I know. And that's why…you are the right person to be my master._ Pikachu stared at her, surprised. He didn't know how to react to that.

"Awww, they're bonding, isn't that cute?" Leo said, snapping a picture.

"Is it cute when we bond?" Lily asked innocently.

Leo blanched. "Uh…"

"Yes," Briney said, causing Leo to turn red.

"Oh, good!" Lily said, completely failing to notice the subtext. "And…'cute' is good, right? Like how Tiny is cute?" Tiny sucked his pacifier.

"Um…yeah…like Tiny…sure…" Leo said, very embarrassed. How did he keep getting himself into these situations?

"Because you have a big mouth and don't think before talking," Briney said.

"You don't _have_ to constantly be reading our minds, you know," Leo said wearily.

"I don't, but I'd prefer to," Briney said. "It's the best way to make sure I can trust you."

"And you don't think us knowing you're always reading our minds won't make it harder to trust _you_?" Pikachu asked.

"I don't really care about your feelings on the matter, so long as I know you aren't going to turn on me," Briney said. "And so long as I keep an eye on your thoughts, I know you never will."

"Big Captain is always watching, huh?" Leo snarked.

"He certainly is," Briney said.

Lily blinked. "Big Captain? He's not that large…" Leo sweatdropped. Dawn shook her head in bemusement.

They entered the portal, which closed behind them. It was remarkable how a place as hostile and violent as Treasure Town could bring people closer together, wasn't it?

…

Meanwhile, in Pokemon Square…

"Take me with you," Matthias said.

Raiki paused and glanced over his shoulder at the Rattata. Aaron had gone off to vent somewhere, leaving the rest of the family to head home after the big show outside the town gates without him. "Hmm? We're going home, where else did you want to go?"

"To Mt. Blaze," Matthias said, determination burning in his eyes. "When you and Aaron and everyone else go attack that place…I want to come, too!"

Raiki stared at him for a long moment. "No."

"Absolutely not," Delia agreed.

"Why not?!" Matthias asked angrily. "It can't be because I'm too young! Pichu and Collette and Junior and Sapphire are much younger than me, but they get to go on dangerous adventures!"

"Yeah, but we've all had combat training since birth," Pichu said. "You haven't."

"You can barely lift a sword," Collette pointed out.

"And you've only just managed to master walking on two legs!" Junior added.

"I think it's a bit too soon for you to be rushing into battle," Sapphire agreed.

"Then what is it? That it's too dangerous?!" Matthias asked angrily. "I've spent almost my entire life as a Pokemon that bigger and stronger Pokemon would happily eat for breakfast! I know plenty about danger!"

Raiki frowned. "Do you now? Do you know about war? Do you know what it is to charge into an enemy stronghold with naught but the sword in your paw and the friends at your back? Do you know what it is to face hundreds of Pokemon who would like nothing more but to kill you, and all that's standing between you and certain death is your skills and your blade and your allies, with the knowledge that the slightest slip-up could mean the end? Do you know what it is to KILL another Pokemon and watch their life drain away as their blood drips from your sword?"

Matthias hesitated. "I…well, no…"

"We do," said Junior grimly. "Well, except for the sword part."

"But that doesn't mean we're going either," Collette said. "It's not that we're too young, it's that none of us are experienced enough. Invading Mt. Blaze is equivalent to a Master-level mission, even with the Draconian Empire's forces backing us up. Only the top Rescue teams are going, since they're the only ones with the skill and experience to survive something like this. We've done pretty well for ourselves since our debut, but we're nowhere near ready for something like that."

"And neither are you," Sapphire said.

Pichu nodded. "You haven't even beaten me in a single practice battle! How do you expect to defeat the armies of the Monkey King as you are now?"

Matthias sagged. "But…but I have to come! They have my family…assuming they aren't already dead…and the Monferno who took them away from me, that guy who Aaron gave that Slaking's head too…he's the one responsible, and he'll be at Mt. Blaze. He burned down our home, killed my parents and most of my siblings, and chased me halfway across the continent! Aaron can see people's Auras…he must have known what that guy did. Why didn't he just kill that bastard then and there?!"

Raiki shrugged. "You'd have to ask him that yourself. If Aaron decided not to kill him, he must have had a reason…and I've known him long enough to trust his instincts."

"But-" Matthias protested.

"I know that you want to kill him and avenge what he did to your family," Raiki said. "I understand. It's a perfectly reasonable desire. But you aren't ready. You barely know how to fight, and right now you're too overwhelmed by emotions to be anything more than a hindrance even if we were, for some reason, to decide to take you with us. Matthias, as your foster father I promise that I'll save what's left of your family and make that monkey pay. You know I don't break my promises. It's against our way."

"But…then what's left for me?! You're always talking about how important honor is. If I can't make up for my weakness back then…if I can't avenge my family…then how will I ever get that honor back?" Matthias asked.

"There's being honorable, and there's being stupid," Raiki said. "A good warrior knows how to be one without being the other."

"Which one?" Pichu joked. Raiki glared at him.

"If you came with us…or tried to sneak along, as I'm pretty sure you're contemplating doing now…you wouldn't be honorable, you would be stupid," Raiki said flatly. "You'd get yourself in trouble and possibly jeopardize the whole mission."

"That goes for the rest of you, too," Delia told the other children. "No spying on planning sessions or following everyone to Mt. Blaze when we start the attack. This isn't the kind of adventure where you'll wind up discovering and sabotaging some secret weapon or ambush the bad guys have waiting for the adults and save the day, this is the kind where you'll die because you went in unprepared trying to be heroes."

"We know, Grandma," Sapphire said.

Junior nodded. "We learned our lesson from the last time."

Collette shivered and hugged herself. "I still have nightmares about that…"

"You will have other opportunities to redeem yourself and get a chance to fight, Matthias," Raiki said. "But this isn't one of them. Do you understand?"

"…Yes sir…" Matthias said unhappily.

Raiki nodded. "Good. But just to make sure you don't change your mind and pull something stupid, I want you to promise me that during the attack you're going to stay right here in Pokemon Square and work on your training while the rest of us concentrate on defeating the Monkey King. And I don't want any looking for loopholes or trying to Buizel your way out of this, Matthias, I want you to stay in town, no matter what. And if you _break_ that promise, then you're out of the family."

Matthias started. "What?!"

"Isn't that a little harsh, Dad?" a surprised Pichu asked.

Raiki shook his head. "He's in training to be a samurai. A samurai's word is his bond. If he can't keep his word, then he has no business being a samurai…or a part of our family. So, Matthias, can I trust you to stay put and keep out of trouble? And that goes for the rest of you, too, just to be safe."

"Okay, dad," Pichu said, knowing how serious Raiki was about this.

"Us too, Grandpa," Collette promised.

"And you, Matthias? Oh, and don't think this gives you an out to abandon us to run off and save your family on your lonesome, because if you do something that stupid and ungrateful in the name of revenge after everything we've taught you, I might as well kill you myself, because a person like that doesn't deserve to live," Raiki warned before Matthias could say anything. "Do I make myself clear?"

Matthias gulped. "Y-yes, sir. I understand. I'll stay in town with everyone else."

"Good. I'm keeping you to that," Raiki said.

"Now, I believe it's time we went home. If my guess is correct, the new episode of Pokemon Idol should be on in half an hour!" Delia said excitedly.

Raiki sighed. "I still don't get what you see in that show…"

"I could say the same about you and the cartoons you watch with the kids," Delia said.

"Hey, cartoons are cool for adults too! We're out of the animation age ghetto! And we'll stay that way, so long as we continue relying on imports from other countries rather than trusting the hacks closer to home," Raiki said.

Matthias sweatdropped. "How can he go from being so utterly serious one moment to being so…_goofy_ the rest of the time?"

"When he was younger, Dad feigned stupidity and childishness to lower his enemy's guard and make it easier to beat them," Pichu explained as they continued heading home. "He got the idea from the 'drunken master' technique some martial arts masters use to get stronger by drinking lots of alcohol. Except Grandpa wouldn't let him get drunk because it's never a good idea for someone who carries a sharp pointy weapon all the time to get severely inebriated, so he improvised by acting silly instead. After a while he got so used to pretending that he wound up doing it all the time…except when the chips come down, and he needs to remind everyone that he's still a stone-cold samurai deep down. The sacred sword Thunder Fang chose him for a reason, after all."

"Whoa," said the amazed Matthias. "That's kind of cool."

"Well, duh," Pichu said. "He's my dad. Of course he's awesome!"

Sapphire nodded. "He didn't get to be a member of the greatest Rescue Team of all time and one of the most famous warriors of the Thunderblade line for nothing."

"Yeah, if I didn't want to be like my dad when I grow up, I'd want to be like Grandpa!" Junior said.

"Aren't you already grown up? You're at your final stage in evolution," Collette said.

"Well…when I grow up _more_," Junior amended.

Matthias looked at Raiki with new respect. _So…that's why you act the way you do?_ He thought to himself. _Huh. That's actually pretty clever..._ He frowned. _He's right. As I am now, I'd be utterly useless at Mt. Blaze. Maybe I should try taking more of his advice to heart. Otherwise…how else will I become strong enough to protect this town that I've grown to think of as my true home? How else will I be able to fight, when everyone is counting on me?_

_How else will I become a hero?_

...

Meanwhile, in Almiore…

Pueltown was a magnificent city, and Team Nightshade spent most of their first hour there just walking around with their mouths open and heads tilted back, staring around in wonder at the towering buildings surrounding them. Like the buildings in most towns around the world, the buildings were shaped like the Pokemon who had built or commissioned them…but Team Nightshade had never seen such buildings on _this_ scale, skyscrapers towering thousands of feet over their head in all shapes and sizes and colors! Pokemon of countless species and nationalities milled through the streets and the skyways overhead without fighting, save for the inevitable bickering and cursing at traffic jams. Rattata and Growlithe with packs on their backs dashed about on courier duty. Magnemites flew around supporting and powering electronic advertisement displays. Tyrogue forced people to buy newspapers on pain of getting beaten up. Chatot sang on street corners in exchange for coins from passerby. Sounds and smells and sights unlike anything they'd ever experienced before filled the air.

"This place is pretty cool," Maren shouted over the honking horns and bellows of cars and transportation Pokemon jockeying for spaces in the streets. "Did you see any cities like this when you were a human, Gary?"

"I might have," Gary admitted. He didn't get as many flashbacks into his past as Ash did, but he got some glimpses of memory now and then. "I don't think any of the buildings were shaped like Pokemon, though."

"Really? Then what were they shaped like?" Maren asked, perplexed.

"Well…just…big glass and metal rectangles, basically," Gary said.

"How boring," Evan hissed. "I prefer thisss placcce much better!" Evan had been bitten by the tourism bug (As well as a Kricketune, one who was playing music on the corner had attacked him when Evan had said he was out of tune. They didn't think the bite had broken the skin.) and had already wasted quite a lot of money buying cheap souvenirs and memorabilia when nobody was looking. He now had a baseball cap for the city's home team, the Feebas (who were a lot more successful than you'd expect with a name like that, since none of the players actually _were_ Feebas), a pair of enormous oversized novelty sunglasses, a poorly-fitting T-shirt with 'I heart Pueltown' written on it, and clutched several pennants in his tail along with a bag full of small-scale replicas of several of the city's most famous landmarks, such as the Puel Bridge, the Tower of Commerce, the Time/Space Center, and the Supernatural History museum. "Do you think Hissssssa and I could get a placcce here?"

"First you're assuming you're ever going to see her again, and second you're assuming she'll actually be able to fit into any of the buildings considering that she's a giant monster," Mary said. "So no, I don't think you could."

Evan drooped. "Yeah, I know…"

"So Gary, where's the Compass pointing?" Maren asked.

Gary glanced at the incomplete compass base, whose needle he was using to guide him through the messy and confusing city streets. "Well, if I'm reading this right, the next Compass Piece should be…right over there!" He pointed across the street at a squat building shaped like a Clefable, with a laughing and crying mask in place of eyes.

"That'sss the Ssselene Theatre," Evan hissed, checking a guidebook he'd also purchased. "It'sss one of the oldessst and mossst popular venuesss in town. They only put on the bessst ssshowsss and playsss there!"

Maren nodded. "They're big on the arts here in Pueltown, and Selene Theatre's one of the most venerable and celebrated monuments to art in all of Almiore. I never thought there'd be a Compass Piece here, though…"

"So it's a playhouse, huh?" Gary murmured. He grinned. "Then they'd better clear their docket, because a new show's coming to town, and it's gonna be a box office hit…'Team Nightshade Saves the Day and Proves They Can Be True Heroes!'" Everyone stared at him. "Name could use some work, huh?"

"Yeah," Mary said flatly. "That's kind of an understatement."

"What do you think a Compass Piece is doing in a theatre?" Maren wondered.

"Maybe it'sss in a chandelier?" Evan suggested.

"You mean the kind that always fall down and kill people?" Mary asked.

"Yesss," Evan said.

The Medicham sighed. "Knowing our luck…"

"That's no way to talk! I think our luck is finally about to change for the better," Gary said, stepping out into the street, apparently oblivious of the taxi screaming towards him.

"GARY, LOOK OUT!" everyone screamed.

"Hmm?" Gary turned around, completely missing the taxi passing right through his incorporeal body and down the street. "What is it?" The others facefaulted. Gary frowned and put his hands on his hips. "We don't have time to lie around, you guys! Come on, we need to get into that theatre!"

"It's a good thing he's already a ghost, otherwise I would've killed him by now," Mary muttered as they followed the Gengar, using a crosswalk rather than cutting through the high-speed vehicles and Pokemon.

"Hey, sssinccce it'sss a theatre, do you think we may get a chanccce to-" Evan started.

"No Evan, we can't star in—or see—a porn show, this isn't that kind of theatre," Mary said bluntly.

"Awww…" Evan complained.

Maren shook her head. _It's sure going to be a lot of work turning these guys into heroes…but at least nothing too bad should happen while we're here in Pueltown. It's just a theatre. What's the worst that could happen?_

If only she knew. If only she knew…

…

Elsewhere…

Doctor Tarantulas glanced up as Oblivion's Shadow entered the room. "Ah, Herr Shadow, I vas vondering vhen you vould get here. I know you insisted you not be disturbed, but I zhought zat zese circumstances warranted such an interruption."

"You are correct, Doctor, vhich is vhy I vill not punish you…zis time," Oblivion's Shadow said, gliding to a stop beside the cyborg Ariados. He looked through the ultra-thick sheet glass covering the wall in front of them into the room below, which was empty save for Gardevoir lying on the floor, sweating and gasping for breath as her body spasmed in pain. Her chest horn, the leader of the Nihilators noted, was pitch-black. "Your messenger said zat she vas attacked and as a result, her physiology is radically changing. She does not look so different, zhough."

"On ze outside, yes, but her bones and organs are rapidly liquefying and reshaping zemselves and her DNA is literally rewriting itself before our eyes!" Tarantulas said. "One of ze side effects so far appears to be enhanced strength and speed, vhich is vhy I put her in zat chamber and turned ze gravity up to one hundred times zat of ze planet…she kept breaking free from her restraints and savaging ze guards in a pain-fueled frenzy! She even killed Chobin…zhree times!"

"That is why I am being Chobin the forty-fifth, the greatest and most Chobinest of all Chobiny Chobins so far!" Chobin said happily.

"I zhought you vere only on v. 40.0," Oblivion's Shadow said.

"V. 41.0 blew himself up in a lab accident and v. 42.0 fell into a meat grinder," Tarantulas explained.

"So zhat's vhy lunch tasted better zan usual zis veek…" Oblivion's Shadow murmured.

"Chobin is always being the most delicious of yummies to feast upon in the gourmet menu of cannibalism!" Chobin declared happily. "Chobin should be suiciding himself more to create more yummy Chobins for Chobin to eat and have a Chobintastic meal!"

"'Chobintastic' isn't a vord," Tarantulas said.

"Ha! Chobin laughs in your face! For it _is_ being a word, according to the Chobin Dictionary for Chobin by Chobin!" Chobin said, taking out a Growlithe-eared book and opening it for his master.

"…Chobin, zhere's nozing in here but a picture of you fucking a four-year old Spheal in ze ass," said a confused Tarantulas.

"Precisely!" Chobin declared, slamming his book shut. And then his head exploded.

"Vas zat necessary?" Tarantulas asked Oblivion's Shadow, wiping off some gore.

"He vas giving me a headache. So, back to Gardevoir. You said she kept breaking loose, vhich is vhy she's in ze gravity chamber. Sedatives didn't work?" the Shadow asked.

"Her body seems to be rejecting drugs at ze moment," Tarantulas said.

"Including pain-killers?" Oblivion's Shadow asked.

Tarantulas stared blankly. "Pain-killers? Vhy vould I bozer viz zose sissy zings?"

"…Zat's right, I forgot who I vas talking to for a moment. Do ve know who attacked her or how he got in here? Or how he got avay?" Oblivion's Shadow asked.

"Ve're still looking, Herr Shadow," Tarantulas said. "All ve know is it vas some kind of…horribly mutated Espeon or somezing. Who turned into a monstrous Mightyena."

"…How is zat possible?" the Shadow asked incredulously.

Tarantulas shrugged with all his legs. "Your guess is as good as mine. And before you ask, no, I'm certain it vasn't one of my experiments. I vasn't vorking on anyzing like zat! At least, not until _now_…" He paused, and then suddenly glanced into the room containing Gardevoir, his sensors alerting him to something. "Did you feel zat?"

The Shadow nodded, a perplexed look on his mirrored face. "Yes…Gardevoir is dead."

"And yet…she's not," said the puzzled Ariados as they stared at the thrashing and wailing Embrace Pokemon below. "Her heart's stopped beating, but I'm still picking up brain activity. Not to mention zat she's still moving and shouting as if she vere still alive. Vhat, has she become a zombie or somezing? Is zat vhat zat veirdo did to her?"

"Vhatever's happening, it's not finished yet…" Oblivion's Shadow murmured. "I sense Dark energy gathering inside of her…her mind is becoming difficult to read. I have never seen anyzing like zis before."

"Neizer have I," Tarantulas agreed. "Vhat ze hell's going on?!"

They both started when Gardevoir suddenly arced her chest into the air and _howled_, red and black energy radiating from her pitch-black horn and washing all over her body. Her milky-white skin turned even paler, taking on the pallor of a corpse. Her hair turned black and grew out to about midway down her back. Her mouth gaped open as some of her teeth turned into rather sharp fangs. The whites of her eyes turned black, causing her irises to become red rings floating in oceans of darkness. The spikes on the sides of her head shifted and melded together until they resembled a pair of miniature white Zubat wings. Her arms turned from green to black as well, resembling ribbons of darkness ending in slender claws. Her gown changed color too, but rather than becoming black it turned blood-red and abruptly split apart, morphing into a pair of wings like a Golbat's or Dragonite's and flopping helplessly on either side of her, crushed by the intense gravity. Her slender white legs and the rest of her torso and lower body were exposed in the process…which turned out to be a rather bad thing, because it allowed Tarantulas and Oblivion's Shadow to see what looked like liquid darkness ooze from her pores and cover her lower body and chest up to her horn, solidifying into glossy black skin-tight chitinous armor with little spikes and barbs growing from the sides and a formation of segmented plates and horns resembling a demonic skull growing over her stomach. With several sickening cracks, her legs broke and reset themselves, becoming double-jointed and vaguely reptilian, ending in sharp points rather than feet. With this final transformation out of the way, Gardevoir passed out, her form heaving from the exertion of the change.

"…Vow," said a stunned Tarantulas.

"Indeed," Oblivion's Shadow agreed.

"Vhat ze heck vas zat?!" Tarantulas demanded.

The room temperature dropped several degrees, and Bellum appeared in a flurry of snow and frost and icy winds. "I believe I can answer that," the Froslass said, gliding over to them. "It seems that our vessel has somehow become something long thought dead and forgotten…a creature that has not been seen in this world for centuries."

"And that something is?" Oblivion's Shadow pressed.

"A vampire," Bellum said.

Tarantulas goggled in astonishment. "A vampire?!"

Bellum nodded. "Yes…and now that she's been turned, we might as well just kill her, because she is no longer of any use to us."

…

And that's the end of that.

I topped myself yet again in chapter length. I don't mean to do it, it just happens. Oy. Maybe next chapter will be shorter, but at this rate I wouldn't count on it.

Anyway, a lot of interesting things happened this chapter, didn't they? Team Aurabolt has _another_ new member on the team, Team Nightshade's about to get into the world of theatre, Raiki shows he can be serious, and Gardevoir's apparently become a vampire.

Oh, and Sasha's trying to learn how to read. How do you think she'll manage on that, or react to all the stuff that happened without her?


	41. Launch of the Peeko XI

Now that that epic milestone is behind us, let's see how far we can go until we hit the next one. This story's second birthday is coming up! Won't that be fun? I wonder how many more birthdays we'll go through before we're done.

Anyway, not much excitement this chapter…other than the beginning of the sea voyage to Zero Isle! Which should be fun. And is certainly not filler. I think. It'll probably be a bit shorter than the previous ones, which will be a respite from all the action in the last few chapters, and certainly easier for you all to read!

Oh, and I recently found out that some of my stories have pages on TV . You should totally check it out. It makes me squeal with delight every time I look at it.

Anyway, on to the chapter!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

Inside Sharpedo Cape…

Sasha stared at the word written on Oak's chalkboard so hard her eyes were watering. Sweat ran down her forehead. "Come on," the Slowking encouraged. "You can do it! It starts with a…?"

"Mmmmm…" Sasha hummed through ground teeth.

"Yes, that's it," Oak coaxed. "Come on…and after that?"

"Mmm…Mmmmuuhh….Mmmmuuuuuhhh…Mmmmmmmmmuuuuuuuuhhhhhhh…" Sasha gasped.

"Yes, yes, you're almost there!" Oak said excitedly. Sasha took a deep breath…

"Fuck!" Tracey yelled as a hole in the fabric of space and time abruptly tore open right next to him, causing his fingers to slip on his laptop's keyboard and get his Last Legend XI character crushed beneath the feet of an Adablastoise.

Oak frowned. "No Tracey, 'Muk,' not 'fuck.' I thought you knew how to read. Do we need to start a remedial course for you, too?"

"No, Professor, look!" Tracey said, pointing at the portal.

Oak blinked in surprise. "Oh my. That wasn't there a minute ago."

"Oh good, they're back," Sasha said a little too eagerly, getting to her feet. "Now we can begin preparations for our voyage!" _And stop trying to make sense of that scribbling! I had no idea reading was so _hard…

"I hope they didn't get into too much trouble…they were gone an awfully long time!" Tracey said, moving his laptop away from the portal out of concern that the interdimensional rift might erase his hard drive.

"Knowing them, I'm certain they got into a _lot_ of trouble," Sasha said.

Her prophetic words were proven correct when the rather weary Team Aurabolt came through the portal and into the library, the gateway closing behind them, and the three Pokemon already in the room realized that their friends had returned with two more Pokemon than they had set out with. "That they have…what happened to you all?" asked an amazed Oak as he took in the worn looks on their faces and the battle wounds that Lily hadn't gotten around to healing yet.

"That is a very long story, Professor," Pikachu said. "And one we'll be happy to tell you as soon as we get Dawn here some place to lie down."

_I…am fine,_ Dawn clicked weakly. _It is not as if I am going to…_ She was cut off when she rather violently threw up, expellinh rather grotesque purple and black bile which sizzled on the floor and started eating into the rock.

"Well, that's a fine how-do-you-do," Oak said, head spinning from the fumes steaming off the vile substance.

"I'm gonna have to clean that up, aren't I?" Tracey asked mournfully.

"What is that?" asked an alarmed Sasha, surprised by the readings of potential danger she was getting from the dissolving pool.

"That stuff's raw Shadow…the drug the Nihilators use to create Shadow Pokemon and trigger Hyper Mode," Leo said as he analyzed the substance. "They've probably been pumping her full of this stuff rather than feeding her…damn, she's in really bad shape, isn't she?"

"She won't be once she rests up and gets some food in her," Pikachu said as he helped Dawn back up. "Are you all right? Is that all of it?"

_I…think so,_ she clicked, wiping her mouth with her free paw. _Ugh…I had not realized there was so much of it inside of me…_

"When we purified you, your body must have rejected it, which is why you spewed it all up," Ash reasoned.

"Then why didn't she throw up before now?" Lily asked.

"Iron self-control foiled by stomach upset caused by traveling through a trans-dimensional portal, I suppose," Briney said.

"Oh…I'm sorry, I didn't realize it would make you nauseous," Lily apologized.

_It is…all right, my lady. I needed to remove it from myself eventually. Now is as good a time as any,_ Dawn replied.

"Did she have to do it on the floor, though? I just cleaned in here!" Tracey complained.

"Tiny, don't eat that stuff. It's really evil," Ash warned Tiny, who was staring with morbid fascination at the puddle of Shadow.

"It looks as if you certainly had an adventure…" Sasha said, struggling to suppress a hint of envy in her voice. "What happened to you? And how did you get the ninja and…"

"Captain Thaddeus Irving Briney," the Metang prompted. "I'd shake your hand if you had one, but you don't. And since you're a Dark type I can't just Psychically implant the knowledge of what we've been up to into your head, so I guess we have no choice but to tell you the old-fashioned way."

"…Wait, you implant knowledge directly into people's minds?" asked the disturbed Oak.

"And constantly reads ours," Leo said.

"Whether we want him to or not," Pikachu said wearily.

"That's very rude," Oak said disapprovingly.

"And kind of creepy," said a freaked-out Tracey.

"In my line of work, I can't really afford to follow social niceties like privacy," Briney said bluntly.

"And that line of work is…" Oak prompted.

"Being a total badass on a quest for vengeance," Leo said.

"Ah. That would explain it, then," Tracey said.

"We can talk about everything that's happened once Dawn is on the road to recovery," Pikachu said. "Help me get her to the nearest bedroom."

_Master, I'm fine, you don't need to-_ Dawn protested.

Pikachu interrupted her. "Dawn, you call me Master, right? That means you have to do what I say. And right now what I say is that you need to lie down, heal, and get some rest. You fought us for most of the night, had several houses dropped on you, underwent a grueling psychological journey to open your heart, and before that was tortured for over a week and transformed into a Shadow Pokemon. Can you even remember the last time you've slept or had something to eat?"

Dawn considered this for a moment. _To be honest, no…but I've been trained to endure-_

"Right, surviving with minimal comforts for long periods of time, I know. But can you continue functioning properly at the level you're at now?" Pikachu asked. "You said you consider your body as a tool. Every tool needs maintenance and repair now and then. When's the last time you got any of that?"

…_I…cannot recall,_ Dawn admitted.

"Which is why we're giving you some now. If we're really going through with this vassal business and having you join the team, then you need to rest. You're no good to us in your current condition. How are you going to help us find the Star Badges, defeat the Nihilators, and kill Paul if you look like you're going to faint if someone breathes on you funny?" Pikachu asked.

_I…suppose…_ Dawn bowed her head, giving in. _Very well, Master. I cannot protect you if I can barely move a muscle. Perhaps it is time I rested…_

"Not perhaps, definitely," Pikachu said. "Come on, Lily, we'll need your magic."

Lily nodded. "All right." She floated after Pikachu as he helped Dawn out of the room.

"So…he's a ninja's master, huh?" Tracey asked after a moment.

"Yeah, and he's totally reluctant about it," Leo said.

"What, seriously? Who wouldn't want a ninja servant?!" said the surprised Smeargle.

"I know, right? That's what I said!" Leo cried. The others sweatdropped.

…

After they'd laid Dawn out in one of the bedrooms and applied some Potions, a number of healing spells, and more than a few sedatives Leo happened to be carrying around to make sure she got some sleep, they reconvened in the library to explain the evening's events to Sasha, Tracey, and the Professor. Leo had managed to fix his espresso machine in the meantime, so was able to make enough coffee for everyone, except for Tiny, whom Ash refused to give any to, much to the Larvitar's consternation. "So you recruited two new Pokemon for the team—a badass sailor and a totally awesome ninja—defeated the notorious Hunter J and her goons, got in a fight with the leader of the Nihilators, and managed to cure the ninja of a mathematical representation of all the suffering and evil in the cosmos?" Tracey asked as he sipped his coffee.

"That pretty much sums it up," Lily said.

"And it was totally wrong, by the way. Whoever came up with it didn't have the slightest idea how math or logic really work," Leo scoffed.

"Well, evil often is unable to comprehend good. Maybe this is an example of that," Pikachu suggested. "Considering that they thought love was a concept you could boil down to a single variable."

Ash nodded in agreement. "Love was certainly one thing the Dark Ones had trouble understanding. Then again, who does?"

"I did, until my wife was brutally murdered," Briney said coldly.

"And I think I understand it…at least, as much of it as I've gotten from anime, television, video games, and dating simulations," said Leo. Ash sweatdropped.

"I'm don't understand love," Lily said. "It seems very complicated. If you love someone, you want to spend the rest of your life with them, and press your mouths together for some reason, and if they get killed you rip out on of their eyes and put it into your own eyesocket and swear bloody revenge against their murderers…at least, that's what I've picked up so far." Everyone stared at her. "What? Did I get it wrong?"

"Uh…" Ash said.

"Er…well…" Leo fidgeted. "That's what _some_ people do-"

"Like me," Briney interjected.

"Yes, like you," Leo admitted. "But not everyone."

"Oh," Lily said, looking confused.

"You forgot the part where you claim a mate by choosing him from a selection of prospective candidates, inform him he's your mate, and beat him and drag him back to your cave if he puts up a fight," Sasha said. They stared at her.

"Oh…but I don't have a cave," Lily said. "Should I get one?"

Sasha shrugged. "I prefer caves, but I suppose any dwelling of choice would work."

"I don't have any of those, either…" Lily said unhappily. "I'm homeless…"

"You won't be when you move in with your dad," Leo said. "What with him being second in command of the whole freaking Draconian Empire and all! You're gonna get to live in a flying palace and have servants waiting on your every whim and everything! That practically makes you a princess. Hey, you're not gonna forget about all the friends who helped you get that far once you make the big-time, are you?"

"No, of course not! I could never forget any of you!" Lily said quickly. _Living with my father? Is that really what my future holds?_ She wondered unhappily. _Would I just be going from one cage to another? If that is the case…then I hope this journey of ours doesn't end for a very long time…_

"Is…that how Absol really mate, Sasha?" asked a disturbed Ash. "That sounds like rape."

"Not if they enjoy it, it's not," Briney said lewdly.

"Absols are matriarchal and have low birth rates, so there are never very many of them around at a particular time," Oak said. "So if a male Absol wants to have offspring, his best bet is to accept the first marriage proposal that comes his way."

"My mate was sensible enough not to beat around the bush and agree when I told him my intentions to start a family with him," Sasha said. "He was strong in claw, fang, and blade, had good fur, was whole and healthy, and my disaster sense told me he would be the least risky or dangerous of my other potential mates to spend my life with. So I chose him, and we started a family together."

"Just like that?" Leo complained. "That sounds so…mechanical. Where's the romance?"

"You don't get much of that out in the frozen wastes. It isn't very practical," Sasha said. "Survival comes first. Anything else can wait until later."

"So…if I wanted a 'mate' I should pick someone who is strong, fit, and not very dangerous?" Lily asked, trying to make sense of Sasha's anecdote.

"Not necessarily, without a hint of danger, some relationships can be dead boring," Briney said. "And picking someone based solely on physical traits or their genes means you're ignoring some of their more appealing qualities. You wouldn't think from looking at me that I'd find happiness with a Wingull like Peeko, now would you?"

"Oh…" Lily said, looking even more confused. "Then what _should_ I look for in a mate?"

"Someone who makes you laugh and who you enjoy spending time with? That's always important," Leo suggested.

Lily blinked. "Most of you make me laugh and I enjoy spending time with you. Should I make one of you my mate, then?"

There was a long, awkward silence. Tiny sucked his pacifier to fill in the quiet. "Er…Lily…do you actually know what a mate is?" Oak asked finally.

"No," Lily admitted. "I was hoping someone could explain it to me."

"That's something we can discuss later," Pikachu said quickly. "Preferably Leo or Briney, since they profess to know so much about it."

"Okay," Briney said.

"Hey!" Leo cried, not sure whether he should be upset about responsibility for giving Lily 'the talk' being dumped on him…or happy that responsibility for giving Lily 'the talk' was dumped on him.

Sasha frowned. "Why just them? I could tell her more about it as well."

"I'm not sure what you know is something Lily should know," Ash said.

Sasha glared at him. "And what exactly is _that_ supposed to mean?"

"Um, can we get back on topic?" Tracey said anxiously, eager to avoid an ugly scene. "We were talking about the night's events?"

"Oh, yes," Oak said, quickly latching onto the change in topic like a drowning mon grabs onto a life preserver. "And how Ash's connection to this 'Oblivion's Shadow' runs far deeper than we had ever imagined. And now we have a far better idea of what caused the destruction of the world a thousand years ago than ever before…remarkable! Wait till the academic community hears about this!"

"How can you back it up, though? You can't exactly cite the memories of an amnesiac Lucario who claims he used to be a human as a reliable source," Tracey pointed out.

Oak's face fell. "Oh…good point…"

"Another good point is that Ash has a dark and deadly rage inside of him that he's afraid could kill his friends and everyone close to him if he can't get control of it," Briney said.

"Yes, that too," said Oak.

Ash groaned and put his face in his paws. "Do you have to keep bringing that up?" Pikachu asked angrily.

"It's not exactly something we can ignore," Leo pointed out.

"Don't worry lad, if you go crazy again I'll knock you out of it and/or kill you so you don't hurt anyone else," Briney promised.

"Gee, thanks," Ash muttered from behind his paws.

"Does that book of yours have any explanation for what's going on with you? Or what you became in that flashback you got in Twilight's Edge?" Tracey asked.

Ash sighed and looked back up. "According to my book, when I lost it and killed the legendaries, I became something called a 'Void' Pokemon. Or human. Whatever."

"Void? That doesn't sound good," Pikachu said.

"What is it?" Lily asked.

"It's basically a Shadow Pokemon even worse than a Shadow Pokemon. It's what happens when the door to an Aura user's heart becomes closed due to unbearable loss, grief, despair, anger…he turns into a being of incredible power and limitless destruction capable of destroying countries, shattering mountains, splitting continents, even killing the gods…that sort of thing," Ash said. "They become lost in their own sorrow and rage and decide to destroy everything, including themselves…returning all things to nothingness. Hence the 'Void' nomenclature."

"Yipe," Leo yelped. "Sounds nasty."

"Wait, then how come the Dark Ones weren't like that?" Pikachu asked. "If they were that strong, I doubt the Aura Guardians could ever have defeated them!"

"The Dark Ones' hearts were never closed. They used Shadow Aura, but they weren't Shadows themselves," Ash said. "It's a little complicated, but that's the simplest way of putting it. Even they feared the power of a Void Pokemon… that's why, whenever they captured someone who could use Aura, they'd corrupt him or her as best they could, but always hold back a little on the torture and brainwashing so the user didn't become _too_ corrupt, snap, and kill them all. It's also why they only used the Anti-Life Equation on regular humans and Pokemon, because if an Aura-user heard it there was a chance it could trigger them to become a Void Pokemon just like that."

"Double yipe," Leo said.

"But then how could they even use that Equation at all, without it destroying them?" asked a puzzled Oak.

"Apparently, only someone who's already lost everything can handle the Equation safely…like they're already so full of hatred and despair it can't really make them any worse, because they already want to destroy everything," Ash said.

"Oh, like how Tiny was immune because he hates almost everything already. Or just doesn't give a damn," Leo said. Tiny glared at him and sucked his pacifier.

"I wonder if that means I could withstand it, then?" Briney mused.

"I would rather not find out, to be honest. Exposure to that thing the one time was more than enough for me. I don't really want to go through it again," Pikachu said.

"That means we probably will, though," Leo said.

Pikachu sighed. "Yeah, I know…"

"I think I was close to turning into a Void Pokemon again when I fought Oblivion's Shadow, because he was making me remember the repressed memories of why I changed into one back when I was a human," Ash confessed. "And if I had been exposed to the Anti-Life Equation inside of Dawn for too long, the same thing might have happened. For some reason, the Shadow was trying to _stop_ me from transforming into the Void state…even if it meant killing me."

"Then it's a good thing he disappeared before that could happen…why did he leave, anyway?" Pikachu asked.

"I honestly have no idea…" Ash whispered. "Just like I don't know who he is…or why he's so _obsessed _with me for some reason."

"And why he _doesn't_ want you to become a Void Pokemon…wouldn't something like that only aid his plans?" Oak wondered.

Lily nodded in agreement. "The Nihilators seek to destroy the world. I would think something like a Void Pokemon would only help achieve that goal."

"And yet, for whatever reason, he doesn't want me to be one…" Ash said, brows furrowed in thought. "I don't get it either."

"Well, he _said_ he's not your father, so…I dunno, I got nothing," Leo said.

"Seriously? You don't have any ideas for a change?!" asked an astonished Pikachu.

"Other than maybe Oblivion's Shadow feeling some kind of sympathy for Ash or not really being as evil as he seems…which doesn't really jive with what we've seen of the guy or the things he's allowed his subordinates to do," Leo said.

"Yeah, that doesn't really make much sense…" Tracey agreed.

"I guess we will have to find out the truth from him the next time we run into him," Sasha said. "Does your book say how to stop a Void Pokemon?"

"Yeah," Ash said grimly. "Kill it."

Everyone looked at Ash in horror. "Wait, then are you saying we need to-" Pikachu started incredulously.

Ash shook his head. "No, not _now, _only if I lose control again and transform completely. The book says that it's possible to stop the change while it's still in progress through methods similar to how we purified Dawn…reminding the transformer of who they are, what they have to live for, stuff like that. Oblivion's Shadow tried doing that to me, and even performed an Aura Purge, but I was just so…_angry _at him because of what I could remember of the past and…because of what I still _can't_ but know subconsciously, that even the thought of you guys wasn't enough to hold me back. But…that's because I was on my own then. It's possible that if you were with me the next time something like that happens; I'd be able to calm down…"

"Or still go crazy and kill us all," Leo said.

Ash sighed. "Yes Leo, or that."

"If it is any consolation, Ash, I do not believe you are capable of something like that as you are now," Sasha said. "My danger-sense does not indicate your chances of causing a disaster to be any higher than it usually is…at least, not at this moment."

Ash smiled faintly. "Thanks, Sasha. That's somewhat reassuring."

"There's no other way we can stop you if you become a full Void Pokemon?" asked the alarmed Lily. "But…wasn't Lord Null able to snap you out of it?"

"He did, but I don't know how," Ash admitted. "From what my book says, something like that shouldn't be possible."

"What about that thing that saved you inside of Dawn…the Life Equation? Would that work?" Oak asked.

Ash shook his head. "Not quite…the Anti-Life Equation represents suffering and the meaninglessness of existence. While a Shadow Pokemon could be seen as someone who believes and has accepted that, a Void Pokemon is…more like someone who _embodies_ it, the Equation in physical form. Simply speaking the Life Equation to something like that isn't enough to stop it. The only way the Life Equation would be powerful enough to purify a Void Pokemon were if it was embodied in another living Pokemon. The opposite of a Void Pokemon…a nearly mythical creature called a 'Shining' Pokemon."

"You mean a Pokemon with different coloration from others of its species?" Oak asked.

"No, that's a 'Shiny' Pokemon. I said 'Shining,'" Ash corrected.

"You mean like that one horror movie where a haunted hotel drives a guy insane and he chases after people with an axe and a creepy psychic kid stops him?" Tracey asked.

Everyone stared at the Smeargle. "…What?" Ash asked in confusion.

"Oh yeah, I saw that movie. There was a parody of it on the Sampsons, wasn't there?" Leo asked. "Where they called it the 'Shinning' to avoid copyright infringement."

Pikachu grimaced. "Ugh, I remember that one now. I honestly don't get what my father sees in that show…or my brother. Or nephew. Am I the only member of the family other than my mother who isn't fond of cartoons?"

"Yes," Briney said. Pikachu glared at him. Tiny sucked his pacifier.

"What does an axe murderer have to do with the Life Equation?" asked a confused Lily.

"Nothing! That's a completely different kind of 'Shining,'" said the exasperated Ash. "According to the book, just as regular Aura opposes Shadow Aura, Aura Guardians oppose Dark Ones, and the Life Equation opposes Anti-Life, so too is there an opposite for Void Pokemon. Those are called Shining Pokemon. A Shining Pokemon is someone who not only opens their hearts completely but is able to fill it with so much light and love and pure…_goodnes_, I guess, that they transcend existence and become one with the Omniverse, transforming into invincible warriors akin to gods, living embodiments of the virtues of the Life Equation."

"Sort of an 'ubermonsch,' then? Fascinating…" Oak murmured.

"How zen," Tracey agreed.

"So where do we get one of these 'Shining' Pokemon?" Pikachu asked.

Ash sighed wearily. "I have no idea…"

Leo groaned. "Figures."

"According to the book, there have been maybe a half dozen or so times throughout history when a Void Pokemon was created. Only a third of those times did a Shining Pokemon arise to stop it," Ash said.

"How did they stop the Void Pokemon the other times?" Lily asked.

"It either killed itself when it ran out of things to destroy or was defeated by throwing armies at it until it died, at the cost of hundreds of thousands of lives," Ash said.

"Ah," said Lily.

"Yeah, I don't think either of those are options for us…" Pikachu said.

"It does not say anywhere how to create a Shining Pokemon?" Sasha asked.

Ash shook his head. "Just like it doesn't say anything about what the Life Equation is…of course, that doesn't mean the knowledge isn't in the book, just that it's hidden."

"So maybe the solution to creating a Shining Pokemon will appear once you've completely freaked out and gone Void on us, like a good deus ex machina should?" Leo suggested. "Sort of like how the Life Equation was revealed when Anti-Life was present inside of Dawn?"

"Possibly, but that's not really an option I'm eager to test," Ash said.

"Maybe Aaron will have some insight on this?" Pikachu offered. "He's had the book for longer and has more experience with Aura than you. We could send him an e-mail."

"I guess…" Ash said reluctantly. "I wasn't looking forward to telling him about it, because of what he might think or say…or what Mom and Dad and everyone else back home might think or say if they found out what I did back then. What I might have been. What they might have to do to keep me from becoming that again…"

"Will you quit it with your angsting, boy?" Briney growled. "Sasha already said you aren't at risk of turning into a monster right now, so you're out of danger for the moment. And if you _do_ show any signs of changing, I'll kill you myself if that's what's necessary to stop you from losing it and destroying us all."

"I will do the same, if it is necessary," Sasha said.

"…Isn't that a little extreme?" Pikachu asked.

"Seems like a better idea than getting killed," Briney said.

"Oddly enough, that also reassures me. I'm glad to know that I can count on you not to let our friendship get in the way of you doing what needs to be done," Ash said.

"Never has before," Briney said.

"Agreed," Sasha said.

"Just don't kill him unless you're absolutely sure you have to, though," Leo said.

"I make no promises," Briney said.

"I will do my best," said Sasha. This didn't make any of them feel very relieved.

Pikachu frowned, a thought occurring to him. "Ash, you said that seeing Oblivion's Shadow caused those memories of your past to start inducing this…Void power? And that he seemed to think it would be a good idea for you not to remember anything else of your relationship with him and what happened a thousand years ago, because it would only make that dread power easier to awaken?"

"Yeah, why?" Ash asked.

"Well, because…so far you've gotten another memory of the cataclysm every time we've found a Star Badge. Does that mean that each Badge we find will bring you one step closer to becoming a monster?" Pikachu asked.

They all thought about this for a moment. "Oh my," said an alarmed Lily.

"I…hadn't considered that," Ash said worriedly. Tiny gave him a worried look.

"Crap…that doesn't sound good…but we can't _not_ get the Badges…" Leo said.

"Well…so far you've only blacked out when the Badge started releasing energy for some reason, right?" Oak recalled. "So…perhaps if you were to be somewhere else when the Badge was used on the map to find where the next one was located, you could avoid having another flashback?"

"That might work," Ash admitted. "I mean, now I'm even _more_ curious to find out what happened, but…to be honest, I'm starting to be afraid of what I'll find out. Maybe it would be best if I left my past forgotten after all…"

"So we'll use the Badge on the map in another room to keep Ash from getting any other flashbacks. Check," said Leo.

"But what if he gets them anyway?" Lily asked.

"Then we're hosed," Leo said.

"We're not hosed, I'll just kill him," Briney said.

"Can we please stop talking about killing Ash?!" Pikachu yelled in exasperation. Tiny sucked his pacifier in agreement.

"Well, it's something we need to seriously consider," Briney said.

"Yes, but not right _now_," Pikachu said wearily. "Let's see what Aaron has to say, keep looking through Ash's book, and do our best to try and keep this power inside of Ash under control…which means that you, Ash, need to stop moping about it and getting anxious about what might happen. If this 'Void' power is triggered by intense anger or sorrow or whatever, worrying about it may only make it worse."

"It's probably a good thing I told everyone about it when I did…" Briney said. "Otherwise, you might have let your fear and guilt gnaw at your heart until it broke free all by itself. Keeping secrets like that to yourself isn't a particularly healthy thing for a Pokemon with powers like yours to do."

"You taught me that friends are supposed to share things like burdens and secrets, so that no one person can be overwhelmed by their own problems. You promised to help break my curse, so how can I repay the favor when I don't even know when you're suffering from a curse of your own?" Lily said.

"You can count on us, mon. We're your teammates! You can tell us anything that's bothering you…though we can't promise we won't laugh and make fun of you for it. After all, isn't that what friends are for, too?" Leo asked.

Tiny sucked his pacifier, giving Ash a look and pulse through their bond of annoyance for being so secretive about this. And considering Tiny, that was saying something. "I guess I did get a little carried away…" Ash admitted. "Sorry, guys. I promise to keep you in the loop from now on, okay?"

"You'd better, or the next talk we have about this will be significantly more painful," Pikachu said, cheeks sparking in warning.

"That won't be a problem so long as I'm around. There's no secret he—or any of you, for that matter—can keep from old Briney! Well, except for Sasha. And Dawn." The Metang frowned. "Speaking of Sasha…I saw in your memories that _she's_ hiding something, too. Since we're all going to be relatively open with each other from now on, I don't suppose she'd be interested in sharing whatever she's keeping to herself?" Sasha stiffened.

"Sasha has a secret?" asked the surprised Lily.

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that…Rui said she had one, didn't she?" Ash recalled.

"And you refused to tell us what it was then…are you in a more talkative mood now?" Pikachu asked, frowning at the Absol.

Sasha fidgeted as everyone looked at her. "I…I'm sorry, but I cannot," she said apologetically. "It is not that I don't want to tell you, but I have been forbidden from revealing it. I promise that I will reveal my secret when I have been given leave to do so…but until then, a secret it must remain, even from you, my closest companions."

They sagged in disappointment. "So much for openness and honesty…" Leo grumbled.

"Are you sure you can't tell us?" Lily asked.

"I will someday…just…not right now," Sasha said evasively.

"Well…all right," Pikachu said reluctantly. "I guess we can give you the benefit of the doubt for a little longer. You've been a reliable friend and teammate this long."

"I could still probably get it from her if you really wanted to," Briney offered.

"Ah, that won't be necessary," Ash said quickly.

Lily nodded. "That's right, because heroes don't torture people!"

"Then what do you call what you did to those mercenaries who tried to capture you?" Briney asked pointedly.

Lily flushed and looked down unhappily. "Hey, that was a low blow, mon!" Leo said.

"Maybe, but it's the truth. If she really wants to be a 'hero,' she's going to have to try not to do things like that in the future," Briney said.

"And what about you? Are _you_ going to avoid things like that?" Oak asked.

Briney shrugged. "I never said I was a hero."

"You may not be, but you're part of our team now, and that sort of thing isn't what we do," Pikachu said. "It's bad enough you're constantly reading our minds and intend to kill Ash if he goes out of control, but torturing people is a line we aren't willing to cross. If you want to stay with us, you're going to have to abide by our rules."

Briney glared at Pikachu. "Hmmph. Fine. But once we get on my ship, _I'm_ in charge. It's my vessel, and I'm the Captain, so what I say goes. Got it?"

"Do we have a choice?" Leo asked.

"No, since it's that or I throw you overboard when we're out at sea," Briney said. "And last time I checked, you _need_ my boat, so…"

"Uh, look, this is getting a little uncomfortable. Can't we all just calm down, be reasonable, and talk about something else?" Tracey asked anxiously, worried that a fight was about to break out. "Weren't we going to contact Aaron to ask him about this Void Pokemon thing? You know, so Ash doesn't go insane and Briney or Sasha don't have to kill him?" Briney and Pikachu subsided reluctantly. Tiny sucked his pacifier.

"Oh, right, thanks for reminding me," Leo said, pulling out his laptop and switching it on. "Okay, let's check e-mails…whoa, my inbox is pretty full. There's some bills for online games I spend too much time playing…some ads for 'performance enhancers'…a thank-you note from my parents for that sweet gift I got my Dad…junk…junk…junk…junk… a message from Pokemon Square…junk…junk…"

"Wait, what was that about a message from home?" Pikachu asked.

Leo blinked. "Huh? Oh, nice save, I almost deleted it!"

"What's it say?" Ash asked.

"Let's take a look," Leo said, propping his computer on the table and opening the e-mail as everyone crowded behind him to see what it said. Even Sasha, who didn't know how to read, since she didn't want to feel left out.

"Holy shit," Pikachu cried after a few moments. "Allen's _dead?!_"

"Charlie's being held captive by the Monkey King?!" Ash gasped.

"T-Bone is a traitor?! Wait, who's T-Bone?" Lily asked.

"A member of one of Pokemon Square's top Rescue Teams, who appears to have turned on his comrades for some as yet-unknown reason," Briney explained.

"Oh, okay," Lily said.

"Pokemon Square is going to launch an attack on Mt. Blaze with the help of the Draconian Empire?!" Sasha exclaimed.

"Awww, and they attached a cute little picture of that Matthias guy training with the other kids and getting the crap kicked out of him. Isn't that adorable?" Leo cooed. "Oh, uh, and all the other stuff." Tiny sucked his pacifier.

"It sounds like a lot is happening back in your hometown," Oak commented.

"And we thought we were the ones with problems…they're really going to attack a volcano fortress full of evil barbarians and who-knows-what else? That's so cool!" Tracey said.

"I know, right?" Leo agreed.

"They've certainly been busy…or rather, will be even busier in the next few days," Briney commented.

"Allen's dead…I can't believe it…" whispered the astonished Ash.

Pikachu nodded in sullen agreement. "We've had to bail him out a few times, but he's always been strong enough to last on his own against some of the most powerful Pokemon in Kanjohenn until we could show up to finish the job. This is terrible…"

"I imagine Aaron will make the Monkey King pay for this…Allen was one of his closest friends, was he not?" Sasha recalled.

"And Charla'll want to get in on the action too, to rescue her husband," Ash said.

Pikachu nodded. "Back in the day, Allen, Aaron, and my dad formed Team Auraforce, the best Rescue Team in the history of the continent. But if Allen's dead…it's like the end of a legend. Damn…we're really missing out on a lot back home, aren't we?"

"Maybe so, but there's a lot going on here too, and if you had never come to Sinnorre, none of it would ever have been resolved," Oak pointed out. "Since you got here, you've saved Tracey, liberated Leo's village, saved the inhabitants of the Tree of Beginning, foiled Ford's power-draining scheme at Mt. Battle, freed the spirits of Twilight's Edge, hatched Tiny, saved Lily and Dawn from their torment, and continue to foil the Nihilators' schemes. If you had not come here, who would have done all that?"

"That's true," Ash admitted. "I guess we have done a lot of good here, haven't we?"

"That still doesn't mean I don't feel guilty for being unable to help everyone back home…" Pikachu said unhappily.

"The best way you can help them is by continuing to do what you're doing," Briney said sagely. "The Nihilators are behind the problems on both continents. If we keep Houndouring them here, it may make things easier for your friends back in Kanjohenn."

"Agreed…though I can't say I'm happy about missing out on a chance to make those monkeys pay," Ash growled angrily. "Allen was my friend too, and he and Charlie have helped us out a number of times."

"They also chased you all the way to Mt. Chill to try and kill you," Sasha pointed out.

"Yeah, but that's all behind us," Ash said dismissively.

"Team A.C.T. were some of our town's best and brightest…those barbarian scum are soon going to regret destroying them when Pokemon Square and the Draconian Empire bring their collective might smashing down on their heads," Pikachu said darkly.

"And it'll probably make that big siege everyone's worried about easier to deal with, because that'll be one less army to worry about, right?" Leo said.

"Definitely," Ash said.

"Although there's still that mysterious sorcerer who's kept your friend Latias from reaching godhood to worry about…" Lily said. "I felt the mystical shockwaves from that disrupted spell, like pretty much every other enchanter on the planet must have. Only a truly powerful mage could have done something like that…maybe even someone stronger than Mother!" They gave her horrified looks.

"…Yeah, that's not exactly a happy thought," said a disturbed Ash.

"Someone stronger than your mom?! Yikes!" said Leo. "And I bet my Thermonuke won't be enough to defeat him or her…well, unless I make more modifications to it…"

"Oh no you don't, the last time you boosted its power you almost blasted a hole in the ozone layer," Pikachu said. "No more tinkering with machines until they're dangerous enough to possibly destroy the world!"

"Awww, all right," Leo moaned unhappily.

"A sorcerer that strong may be a big threat…but it's not really our concern at the moment," Briney said. "It's something for us to be worried about, yes, but there's nothing we can do about it right now. We need to focus on finding the Star Badges—and hopefully keeping Ash under control—while the people back in Pokemon Square try to take care of business over there."

"I guess so," Ash said reluctantly.

"We can't really do anything else, can we? Except send our best wishes and keep up the fight over here," Pikachu said.

"So what shall I say in the reply?" Leo asked.

"Say that we're very sorry to hear about Allen and tell them we're rooting for them to save Charlie, punish T-Bone, and destroy the Monkey King and his horde once and for all," Pikachu advised.

"And then tell them about my…condition, and ask if Aaron has any ideas about what we can do to fix it," Ash said.

"And then you should probably mention what we've been up to tonight…how you recruited me, fought Hunter J and Oblivion's Shadow, and saved Dawn," Briney said.

"Oh, but be sure not to mention that…thing we learned about Dawn," Lily said.

"What thing?" Tracey asked.

"Oh, um, I can't say," Lily said uneasily.

"She promised to kill us if we told anyone," Ash said.

"Even me?" Sasha asked.

"Even you," Pikachu said apologetically.

Sasha frowned. "It seems that I am not the only one keeping secrets around here…"

"Okay, that should do it," Leo said after a few minutes of fast-paced typing. "Mon, I'll be happy when they finally get a camera over there so we can talk over the Internet. It'll be much more efficient than all this back-and-forth via email!"

"Yeah, except we'd only be able to talk to them at certain times of the day due to the time difference," Pikachu said.

"But at least we could speak to them face-to-face, which is always a plus," Ash said.

"Technology is truly a wonderful thing to allow people on other sides of the world to speak to each other directly," Sasha mused.

"Yes, well, magic figured out how to do that first," Lily said.

"Did magic also figure out how to play video games?" Tracey asked.

"Actually, yes, some rather clever wizards discovered a way to grow strains of crystals that, when put together and exposed to certain wavelengths of magical energy in the right combination, were able to generate immersive images and illusions not unlike the games you have, where you could play through preprogrammed scenarios set in imaginary otherworlds," Lily said.

"Oh, really? What're they like?" Leo asked, always eager to learn about new games.

"I wouldn't know. Mother never let me play with any of hers," Lily said unhappily.

Leo gasped. "That bitch! Depriving you of video games growing up! That's going too far!" Everyone sweatdropped. Tiny sucked his pacifier.

After Leo finished and sent off the e-mail, they stayed up for a little longer, talking about the events of that night and what the future might hold for them. But eventually even the Squirtle's smooth java espresso couldn't keep their energy up, and they decided to call it a night and go to bed. Tomorrow would be a big day, after all…the day they would embark on their voyage to Zero Isle…

As well as officially induct their latest companions into Team Aurabolt.

…

Several hours later…

Even though he had been exhausted from his duel with Dawn and the subsequent journey inside her heart, Pikachu still got up a few hours before sunrise, as was his habit. He had gotten used to being woken up early by his father to start training before the day officially began, and even when he was abroad he got up before everyone else to get some workouts and meditation in before breakfast. He slipped out of bed, grabbed his sword, and snuck out of the room he was sharing with Ash and Tiny, his nephew's snores—as loud, if not louder, than his Screeches--more than enough to cover his departure.

He padded down the hall past the rooms where everyone else was sleeping, headed into the library, and climbed up the secret stairway leading to the exterior of Sharpedo Cape. Once outside, he walked to the edge of the cliff and stared out at the distant horizon, the colors of false dawn already starting to blot out the stars, letting the cool night air and sea breeze wash over him. After a moment he said, without turning around, "You shouldn't be out of bed yet. You can't possibly have fully recovered from everything that happened last night already."

Dawn didn't bother asking how he had known she was there. She stepped forward until she stood beside, and slightly behind, him. _Ninjas heal fast_, she replied.

Pikachu glanced at Dawn. She was wearing a fresh set of black ninja garb, claws, and red feathers, but some of the bandages they had applied to her last night were still visible. There was no trace of tiredness or weakness in her eyes or body, however. She looked; he grudgingly had to admit, to be in perfect health. "I suppose they do," he said. "Though I'm sure Lily's magic and a good night's sleep helped too. Any bad dreams?"

_Always. But I have grown used to them by now,_ Dawn said.

Pikachu decided not to comment on that. "So, why did you follow me up here?"

_It is my duty to protect you. I cannot do that if I am not everywhere you are,_ Dawn said.

"How did you even know I was coming up here?" Pikachu asked.

_I didn't_, Dawn said. _But I woke up a few hours before you did and kept watch over your bed. When you got up I went into your shadow and followed you here._

"…You were watching me as I slept?!" Pikachu asked in alarm.

_Of course. How else could I be sure you were not attacked in your sleep?_ Dawn asked.

Pikachu sighed. "Dawn, we're among friends. I don't really think something like that is something you should be concerned with while we're here."

Dawn shrugged. _One can never be too careful, Master._

"I suppose not, but there's such a thing as being too paranoid." He paused, thinking of Briney. "Then again, sometime it's justified."

_It's not paranoia if you know there are people out to get you,_ she agreed.

"So…" He chewed his lip in thought. "About this vassal thing. There's no way out of it?"

_No_,_ Master,_ she said.

"You'll continue serving me even after you've restored your honor?" Pikachu asked.

_If that is my choice, which it probably will be. You may dismiss me if you choose to once that has happened without fear of my taking my own life, but I would not recommend it, and it will probably not happen for a rather long time,_ Dawn said.

Pikachu grunted. "Figures. You know I'm not too happy about this, right? I believe in freedom. Owning a slave goes against my principles."

Dawn frowned at him. _I am not a slave, Master. I am a vassal. There is a difference._

"And that is?" Pikachu asked.

_A slave has no choice in who their master is. Their lives are not their own, and they have no rights, hope, or freedom,_ Dawn said. _I, on the other hand, have a choice in who my master is. While I must obey your orders, I can choose to ignore or refuse them, and I have certain rights and privileges that a slave would not. A slave is completely at the mercy of their master…while I, on the other hand, can choose to depart your service if you are no longer worthy of my loyalty and do not treat me with respect. But again, I would not recommend you try something like behaving cruelly to get rid of me, both because I would be forced to either kill myself or seek out another master—possibly one of your friends—but also because my services could be very helpful to you, and should not be discarded lightly_

"…Well, I guess that's a little better," Pikachu admitted. "But I still don't like the idea of owning someone else."

_You may have possession of my body and the services it can offer, but my mind and spirit are still my own,_ Dawn said. _As long as that is the case…then neither you nor any other Pokemon can truly be my owner._

"Just your master," Pikachu said sardonically.

_Yes,_ Dawn said without a hint of irony…though it would be hard to detect irony considering that she was talking through a pattern of clicks and taps.

Pikachu sighed. "All right, if there's really no way around this…tell me what sorts of things I can expect from you, and how I should behave towards you. If we're going to do this, we might as well do it right."

Dawn nodded. _Very well, Master. As your vassal, I will serve as your bodyguard, protecting you from all threats and attempts on your life. I will use my skills in stealth and ninjutsu to guard you from the shadows, striking when your foes least expect it. Even if you do not see me, I will always be nearby, maybe even as close as your own shadow._

"I'm not sure to what extent I need protection given that I can fight on my own, but all right," Pikachu said. "What else?"

_I will obey any order you give me without question unless it conflicts with my other oaths or code of honor,_ Dawn said. _If you give me such an order, I will refuse, and if you insist…well, I may leave your service, but as I said, I would not recommend you try doing that specifically to get rid of me._

"And…what sorts of things am I forbidden to order you from doing?" Pikachu asked.

_Sending me to kill or spy on my other master, Rayquaza and his servants. Killing or torturing children. Revealing certain secrets and breaking my code of honor. Almost anything else is fair game, though_, she said.

"That includes killing my friends? Or…getting into bed with me?" Pikachu asked.

_If that is what you wish, Master,_ Dawn said.

"Then you can forget both of those, because that's not something I ever intend to order you to do," Pikachu said sternly.

Dawn nodded. _I understand, Master. I am aware that I am physically repulsive due to my burns, and few Pokemon would wish to sleep with someone who is as disfigured as I. Perhaps you will reconsider after I have killed Paul and had my burns treated?_

Pikachu started. "Wh-what?! That's…that's not what I meant!"

Dawn gave him a puzzled look. _No?_

"No!" Pikachu exclaimed.

_Then what did you mean? _Dawn asked, perplexed.

"The reason I don't want to sleep with you isn't because you're disfigured, it's because…well, because I'm not that kind of guy!" Pikachu said.

…_Oh, so you are attracted to mons?_ Dawn asked.

Pikachu facefaulted. "No! I mean…look, I'm aware that some samurai have a reputation for being a little, well, _loose_ when it comes to the opposite sex, but not me or anyone else in my family! Well, except for my twelfth cousin thrice-removed. We don't like to talk about him."

_I do not understand,_ Dawn said.

"I mean that I've been taught not to objectify womon. If I sleep with someone, I want it to be someone I've gotten to know, someone who I trust and honestly care for, someone who I've had time to form a relationship with beforehand. I'm not the type to mate with hookers or prostitutes or servants. It would be cruel and hurtful to them as well as to myself," Pikachu said.

Dawn shrugged. _I would not be hurt. As my Master, it is well within your rights to use me that way._

"Which also means it's my right to _not_ use you that way if I don't want to," Pikachu retaliated. "Like I said, I'm still uncomfortable with having a servant. It's bad enough that I basically own and have responsibility over another living being, but if you slept with me because I ordered you to, then I'd just be taking advantage of you."

_I would not see it that way,_ Dawn said.

"Yes, but I would. Which is why we aren't," Pikachu said.

…_Not ever? _Dawn asked.

Pikachu blanched. "What?! No! Well…at least, I don't think we will. I mean, it's bad enough Ash and Leo are constantly claiming there's something between us. I don't want to prove them _right_. I'd never hear the end of it!"

Dawn shrugged. _If that is your wish, Master._

"It is," Pikachu said, wondering why he still felt vaguely dissatisfied by the way that had gone. "Anyway. That's your obligation to me. What am I supposed to do for you?"

_As my master, you must provide shelter for me, though since I can stay in your shadow for indefinite periods of time, your permission to use it as a place to rest is the least you need to do in that respect,_ Dawn said. _As I mentioned before, you must never order me to do anything that goes against my code or ethics. If you were ever to obtain other vassals or servants, I would have power over them and could serve as an intermediary representing your will towards them._

"Since I'm never going to get any other vassals—at least, I hope not—that's not an issue," Pikachu said. "What else?"

_As I have said before, I am a vassal and not a slave, so I must not be treated like one, _Dawn said. _While you may order me around however you like, abuse will not be tolerated. Additionally, if for some reason I were to ask for some favor or small trifle, while you are not obligated to grant my request it is considered good form to do so, as recompense for the services I provide you with._

"Abuse shouldn't be a problem, and I'll do my best to grant any favors…as long as it's nothing too excessive," Pikachu said. "Anything else?"

_Yes…the most important thing, and the reason all ninjas must have masters: you must serve as my moral compass, to remind me of the difference between right and wrong and make sure I adhere to the ninja code,_ Dawn said.

Pikachu blinked in surprise. "Moral compass?"

Dawn nodded. _A ninja must have a master because a master provides her with guidance. An example to follow. While training and the code remind us of how we are supposed to behave, being in the real world can cause a ninja to forget how she is supposed to act. To do things that…she would not do otherwise. As my master, you must remind me of how I am supposed to behave and keep me from degenerating into…into a rogue like Paul._

"…So, that's why you deny yourselves freedom and put yourselves under the control of others?" Pikachu suddenly realized. "Because you don't trust yourselves to stay true to your honor and ethics without someone to always remind you to do so?"

_That is correct, Master,_ Dawn said. _We are ninja. We are not common mercenaries or killers. We see ourselves as above those criminals, because we have honor…but we dwell always in darkness, and sometimes it can be easy to lose sight of just what honor is in the shadows, without a guiding light to show us the way. We know all too well of the darkness in the Pokemon heart…and are aware of how much of it lurks within ourselves._

"Are you sure you need me for that? It seems to me like you've done a good job of that on your own. I mean, the Nihilators spent over a week trying to break you, but you still refused to compromise your code until they used a will-crushing equation on you!" Pikachu pointed out.

_Which is exactly why you are needed,_ Dawn said. _As Leo pointed out, the Anti-Life Equation is flawed, almost obviously so. That I was susceptible to it at all indicates that I have strayed in some way from the path of the ninja. To restore my honor and pride, I require someone to help me find the way again…and that someone is you._

"I…um…wow," Pikachu said after a moment. "That's…that's kind of a lot of responsibility. Are you sure I'm the right person for that? I mean…I'm a samurai. My code and yours aren't entirely compatible."

_They may not be…but you are still an honorable Pokemon, even if it is not necessarily in the same way I am,_ Dawn said. _That is why I know I can trust you to be a good master. That is why I know you'll help me to do the right thing._

"Well…um…I guess I'll try and do my best to help you stay true and all that," Pikachu said. _And maybe if I do, I can do what I hoped…turn her into a weapon of justice, rather than vengeance. But is that taking advantage of her too? She might be okay with that…but I'm not sure I am. Oy…this is kind of tough._ "So, now that we've gotten that out of the way…what do you want to do?"

_What do _you_ want to do?_ Dawn asked.

"Well, I came up here to train and meditate a bit," Pikachu said.

_Then I shall join you,_ Dawn said.

And that's precisely what they did, as the stars and the moon faded, and the dark of night gave way to the dawn of a new day. Ash, leaning against the entrance to the secret hideout, smiled as rays from the rising sun glinted on Pikachu's sword and Dawn's claws as they danced about in complex maneuvers. "Awww, isn't that cute, Tiny? They're bonding! It's only a matter of time now before they start making lots of baby ninjas…or would they be baby samurai? Or some odd mix of the two?" Tiny sucked his pacifier. "Eh, whatever, either way I'm going to have some nephews and/or nieces! Then I won't be the only one with kids…though we may need to get a new house or move permanently into our Rescue Team base, the homestead has been getting pretty crowded lately…"

He turned to the Larvitar. "Anyway, my brother's love life aside, I decided it's high time I started teaching you more about the ways of Aura, hence why I woke you up so early, even though you bit me and screamed at the top of your lungs when I dragged you out of bed. Let's begin by working on some stances that allow you to maximize the energy flow within you and help your heart synchronize better with the Aura all around us." He balanced on one foot, folding his other leg behind him and clasping his paws just under his chest spike. "This one's a pretty basic one. You shouldn't have any trouble with it."

Tiny stared at Ash for a long moment, glanced down at his very short and stubby legs, then looked back up at Ash with an eyebrow raised in skepticism, transmitting a feeling of doubt through their bond. "Come on, I know you can do it!" Ash encouraged. Tiny sighed and tried to mimic Ash's pose. His arms were too short to meet each other and with only one leg underneath him the weight of his pinecone-shaped tail caused him to overbalance and fall on his back, giving him a good look at the clouds passing overhead and the embarrassed look on Ash's face. "This might be a little harder than I thought…"

Tiny noted that the cloud just above him was shaped like a Lickilicky. He hated Lickilickies. He sucked his pacifier.

…

A little later…

After everyone had woken up and had breakfast (made somewhat complicated when Dawn insisted she test Pikachu's food for poisoning, despite Tracey's protests that he didn't poison it, leading Pikachu to wryly comment that she might as well test everyone else's food to make sure _they _weren't poisoned just in case…and when she proceeded to do just that, Pikachu realized he should probably phrase any orders he gave to Dawn in the future very carefully, since she seemed to take him literally), the time finally came to officially induct Briney and Dawn into Team Aurabolt. The rest of the team had put on their scarves and badges and stood to attention as Ash took out two scarves and badges from the Rescue Kit while Tracey played 'Pomp and Circumstance' on his music player. "Captain Thaddeus Irving Briney and Dawn Hikari," Ash said as he turned to the Metang and Buneary. "For agreeing to aid us in our quest to obtain the Seven Star Badges, defeat the Nihilators, and save the world, I would like to officially induct you into Team Aurabolt. These items I present to you are to be worn with honor, and will tell the world that you are a member of a Rescue Team dedicated to saving lives, protecting the innocent, and doing the right thing. Will you accept them, and your place in our team?"

Briney shrugged. "I suppose so."

Dawn glanced at Pikachu, who nodded. _I accept._

"Then it is with great pride that I give you these symbols of office, marking you as a member of Team Aurabolt in the service of Pokemon Square," Ash said. He tied a scarf to Briney's arm and pinned the badge to his hat, then tied the other scarf around Dawn's neck and pinned the remaining badge to her chest. He stepped back and frowned at the way the bright colors of the scarf and badge juxtaposed against her black stealth garb. "That kind of clashes, doesn't it…"

_I can always paint them black later,_ she clicked.

Everyone applauded, except for Tiny, who didn't care, and Sasha and Lily, who were physically incapable of it. "Bravo! Welcome to the team!" Leo cheered.

Lily was sobbing with joy. "This reminds me of my own induction ceremony…I'm feeling overwhelmed by happiness all over again!"

"That was only a few days ago," Sasha said.

"I know, but it was still the happiest day of my life!" the ghost cried.

"Really? Damn…that's kind of sad," Tracey commented.

"She's had a hard unlife," Oak said wistfully. "You know, this reminds me of my own graduation from Pokemon U…ah, the future seemed so bright and simple in those days!" His face fell. "And it was the last time I saw my closest friends at their best…before Tarantulas was consumed by madness, and Kaminko got involved with Chobin…"

_Do these badges serve any functional purpose, or are they just ornamental?_ Dawn asked.

"They're very functional. Back in Kanjohenn, they can be used to teleport yourself and a rescued Pokemon back to Pokemon Square, as well as communicate with the Rescue Team coordinator, Scotty," Ash said. "However, since we're on another continent, we're too far out of range to reach him, so neither of those functions will work."

"That doesn't mean they're useless pieces of metal, though. They can still be used as homing beacons to locate other members of the same team, as well as communicate with other team members if you should get separated for some reason," Pikachu said.

_Ah. Very convenient,_ Dawn said.

Lily blinked. "They can? I didn't know that."

"Oh, we forgot to mention it? Sorry, must've slipped our minds," Ash apologized.

"Wait, they could do that all along? Then why didn't you use that function to find Ash when he was kidnapped by Ford or turned into a shadow by Brodie? Or communicate with him or Pikachu when you got separated during the fight last night?" Tracey asked.

"The dampening field in Battlus kept the badge communicators and locators from working, and when Ash became a shadow he was sort of shifted trans-dimensionally so his badge's signal couldn't reach us," Pikachu said.

"And nobody used them during the fight last night because there was too much going on for anyone to stop and try to reach me or Pikachu," Ash explained.

"Oh," said Tracey.

"Yep, certainly a convenient way to explain why we had this ability all along but never talked about it or used it before now," Leo said. Tiny sucked his pacifier.

"Huh, I suppose that should come in handy, considering that two of our members are Dark—or sort of Dark—types and I can't find or contact them Psychically should we get separated," Briney commented.

_How am I supposed to use it? I can't talk,_ Dawn complained.

"I guess you could just tap against it…or something," Pikachu said. The Buneary crossed her arms, not looking entirely satisfied by this.

"Now that that's done…I think it's time we shipped out. On our ship," Ash joked.

"You mean _my_ ship," Briney said, not laughing.

"Right. That one," Ash said.

"Should we bother with disguises going out?" Lily asked.

"Well, we're going to portal right to the harbor, so I'm not sure there's a point. We're going to be conspicuous enough as it is," Pikachu said. "And it's not like we're going to be there for very long."

"Not to mention we're going straight for my ship. Everyone knows whose ship it is. No point in wearing disguises if we're heading there, people would just assume I was there if we all got on board and weren't instantly killed," Briney said.

"You really went all-out in safeguarding your ship, huh?" said Leo.

"I have a lot of enemies, and this ship isn't my first," Briney said.

"I almost wish I could come with you, you know," Oak said sadly as they assembled their gear. "Going out on the high seas in search of adventure and seeking the truth behind ancient legends…it brings back memories of my younger days."

"Professor, don't you get enough adventure here sneaking around the Nihilators in Treasure Town's catacombs?!" Tracey asked in disbelief.

"Well, yes, but the ocean smells better," Oak said.

"Speaking of Nihilators, any idea what they've been up to since last night?" Ash asked.

Tracey nodded. "I went scouting early this morning. They've withdrawn their forces from the upper levels and have gone into hiding deeper in the catacombs, sealing up every entrance into the depths behind them."

"Heh…guess they were afraid of what I'd do to them, and rightly so!" Briney chuckled.

"It might be possible to get through the fortifications they've put up, but it would take a lot of time and effort," Tracey said.

"That's something that'll have to wait until the next time we come through town," Pikachu said. "We don't really have time to deal with that right now."

Tracey nodded. "I thought as much. I'll keep poking around, though…I might be able to find a crack in their defenses somewhere."

"All right, but be careful, mon," Leo said. "You're one of my best buddies both online and in real life. I wouldn't want to lose you. Who'd I go on raids and campaigns with if you croaked? Other than my several dozen other online friends, that is, but I don't know them nearly as well as you."

Tracey smiled. "Thanks, I feel the same way about you." He and Leo bumped knuckles.

"Are we all ready?" Lily asked once everyone had finished their preparations.

"I think so," Ash said.

"Sasha, we're going to have to leave you here again, but just for a little while," Pikachu said to the Absol. "Since we're not sure what kind of a reaction your disaster sense will have to Treasure Town, we'll wait until we leave port then open a portal to bring you on board Briney's ship."

Sasha sighed and nodded in resignation. "I'm somewhat loath to let you go out on your own again, even for a little while, considering what happened the last time. However, I'm not looking forward to going into town either, so I suppose I have little choice but to wait a while longer. Do try not to get yourselves into much trouble without me, will you?"

"We make no promises," Leo said.

"All right, let's get going already," Briney grunted.

"Lily?" Ash asked. The Misdreavus nodded and used her powers to tear open a portal leading to the Treasure Town harbor. Horrid smells and unnerving sounds wafted through to assault their senses.

Sasha wrinkled her nose. "Ugh. That is Treasure Town?"

"Unfortunately," Leo said. "Come on, let's go through before somebody enters from the other side!"

Ash nodded. "Tracey, Professor, thanks for letting us stay the night."

"No problem, Ash. You can always count on us," Oak said.

"Have a nice trip. Don't get killed by pirates or sea monsters or anything!" Tracey said.

"We'll try our best not to," Pikachu said. Tiny sucked his pacifier in agreement.

Waving farewell, Team Aurabolt hopped through the portal, which closed behind them, taking the dreadful odor with it. Sasha was able to breathe easier…until Oak said, "So, while we wait for the next portal, shall we resume our lessons?" Sasha groaned.

…

The dim light of day did nothing to make the sight of Treasure Town's harbor less palatable on the eyes. If anything, it made the place worse, since the dark of night had been able to conceal some of its more obscene features. It also didn't help that the place was still trashed from the big fight they had had there the night before. Nobody had bothered cleaning up any of the mess, and more than a few buildings and boats were _still_ on fire! The only things that had been removed were the bodies of the Pokemon Briney had beaten up while everyone was inside of Dawn, and it was unclear if they had left of their own volition…or if something _else_ had dragged them off into the night. The few hard-looking sailors who still had ships to attend to paused to stare as Team Aurabolt appeared from a rift in the fabric of space and time, but when Briney glared at them they quickly decided it was none of their business and returned to their labors. "Mon, we really did a number on this place, didn't we?" Leo murmured as he took in all the lingering devastation lying all over the place.

"Yeah…" Ash said, feeling yet another twinge of guilt.

_How much of this was my fault?_ Dawn wondered as she looked about in astonishment.

Pikachu rubbed the back of his head Mareepishly. "Well…we _did_ drop a number of houses on you…" She frowned in dismay.

"Bah, don't give yourselves too much credit. Compared to what usually happens in this neighborhood around Happy Hour, this was nothing," Briney scoffed. "There's been worse fighting in these parts, often for much pettier reasons."

"Oh," Ash said.

"I've said before that I hate this town, right?" Pikachu said miserably.

"It's still not as bad as Genocide City…" Lily said quietly. Tiny sucked his pacifier.

"Not now, but it might be soon…which is why we should get out of here before we get caught up in another mess. Come on, my ship's this way," Briney said. He guided his teammates past the sailors—who gave them a wide berth—and wound through a narrow and rickety maze of piers and docks and boats, some of which were more or less anchored permanently and others that collapsed the instant they looked at or put the slightest pressure on them, before reaching a relatively stable stretch that, oddly enough, nobody had dared park their boat beside…nobody, that is, except Briney. "Here we are, home sweet home. Isn't the old girl a beaut?" the Metang said, gesturing to his vessel.

They stared at the boat for a long moment. "Uh…" Leo said.

"Well…" Ash said.

"She's…something, all right," Pikachu said diplomatically. Tiny sucked his pacifier.

That was a charitable way of putting it. Briney's ship was sleek, modern, and powerful-looking, its gleaming white hull and curved lines by far shaming and outstripping the decrepit and moldy boats anchored at respectful distances surrounding it. It was larger than a speedboat but a bit smaller than a fishing boat or a yacht, looking like just the kind of boat that could comfortably transport a Pokemon (and more uncomfortably transport several Pokemon) on a voyage of leisure and/or vengeance around the world.

It was also shaped like a Wingull. Its lengthy bow was yellow and beak-shaped, with large windows mounted over it in the shape of eyes through which the cockpit could be seen. A pair of wing-shaped hydrofoils extended from either side of the boat, and a metal housing shaped like tail feathers emerged from the rear of the broad, open deck to frame a complex-looking engine array. The name _Peeko XI_ was painted on the side, with a stylized Wingull silhouette flying beneath it.

"Why is it shaped like a Wingull?" Lily asked, finally voicing the question on everyone's minds, even though Briney already had known they were going to ask it _because_ it was on everyone's minds. (Psychic, remember?)

"In memory of my late wife, to whom I have spent the last ten years seeking revenge for," Briney said. "It's also why I named it after her, naturally. Yes, I'm aware that it probably indicates something…unhealthy about the way my mind works, but if any of you have a problem with it, you can swim to Zero Isle under your own power." They hurriedly assured him that they had no problem whatsoever with the way his boat looked. "Good. Now, I admit she may not look that fierce, but considering that she's outlasted the first ten Peekos—the boats, that is—is testament of how tough she is. I've installed some of the most sophisticated anti-ship and anti-theft technology into her, and if anyone or anything that I haven't registered as a 'friendly' gets within a few feet of her, she's programmed to kill the intruder. Violently."

Everyone quickly took a few steps back from the boat. Who could have thought a ship shaped like a Wingull could be so menacing? "So, I take it you're going to register us so we can get on without dying?" Pikachu asked.

Briney nodded. "Right, just give me a second to disable the security system-"

_Done,_ said Dawn.

Briney stared at her, as did everyone else. "…You shut down my ship's security system, without getting killed, while you were standing here, where everyone could see you."

_Yes_, said Dawn.

Briney frowned and opened a panel in the hull of his boat. His eye widened in astonishment. "What the…it's off! How the hell did you do that?!"

_Ninja,_ she replied simply.

"Cooool," said an impressed Leo.

"And I didn't even see her move…" murmured the astounded Ash. "I thought she was right here the whole time!" Tiny sucked his pacifier in agreement.

"Okay, that was pretty impressive," said an amazed Pikachu.

_I could probably teach you to move like that too if you wanted, Master,_ she told him.

"Hmm…sneaking around isn't my kind of thing…but I can see where it might come in handy," Pikachu admitted.

Briney growled and slammed the panel shut. "Well, that was a complete waste of seven hundred thousand Poke'. Why didn't they tell me it wasn't ninja-proof?!"

"You should have set it on fire," Leo said.

"What?" asked the confused Briney.

"Ninjas can't get you if you're on fire," Leo said.

_We can't?_ asked a puzzled Dawn.

"Just ignore him," Pikachu said wearily.

Briney stared at Leo for a very long time. "…Boy, your mind scares and confuses me."

"Thanks," Leo said.

"Does that mean we can get on board now?" Lily asked.

"Hmm? Oh, yes, I suppose so," the Metang grunted. He opened another panel and pulled a lever, causing a long white gangplank to extend from the side of the hull. "All aboard!"

They walked (or floated) across the gangplank and onto the deck, careful not to slip and fall into the potentially deadly waters below. "Is this thing going to be big enough for all eight of us?" Ash asked skeptically once they were all onboard.

"It may be a little crowded," Briney admitted. "I'm not used to guests…but I think we can all fit. Though some of you may have to sleep here on the deck."

"On the deck?!" Leo cried in alarm.

"Don't worry, I've got a canopy I can raise out here if a little chill and water is too much for your frail constitution," Briney said.

_That should not be a problem for me,_ Dawn said.

"And I suppose Sasha will be happier out here rather than cooped up in a cabin…though I don't know how she'll like the constant rocking…" Pikachu said.

"She seems like a tough lass. She should be fine," Briney said. "Now, before we set out, I want to make a few things clear. Out in the field, I may—reluctantly—defer to you all and try to act like a team player, but here on the _Peeko XI,_ I am master and commander. Whatever I say goes. You have a problem with my orders, too bad, you can get out and swim if you don't like it, though you won't get very far. Don't touch or mess with anything without my permission…and yes, that means you, Leo."

Leo pouted. "Awww, I wanted to try steering the boat!"

"No," Briney said flatly. "You don't have to worry about bothering me to ask me about anything since I'll be constantly watching you through security cameras and mind reading to make sure you aren't doing anything you shouldn't."

"…That's kind of creepy," Lily confessed.

"Too bad. Pikachu, I'm aware that my security measures may not work on your pet ninja, so I would appreciate it if you could keep her where I can see her," Briney said.

Pikachu shrugged. "Well, all right…Dawn, you heard that? You have to behave while you're on this ship, by which I mean no sneaking about or doing ninja-y…stuff."

Dawn bowed. _If that is your wish, Master…though I intend to use every art at my disposal to keep you safe should I deem it necessary, no matter what the Captain says._

"Well, if you insist…" Pikachu said.

"Any other questions? No? Right, then! Let's be off!" Briney said, floating over to a metal staircase leading up to the cockpit. "I'll be glad to see the back of this wretched town, even if we'll be returning here soon enough…"

"Leo, don't go up there," Ash told Leo as the Squirtle started towards the stairs.

"Awww, but I wanna see the controls!" Leo complained.

"Briney said you can't, and I don't really think it would be a good idea to cross him," Pikachu said. "He seems rather…attached to this boat."

"Yeah, that's one way of describing it…" Leo muttered.

"What do you mean?" Lily asked innocently. "I think it's rather…'sweet' that he named and shaped his boat like his wife."

"It's sweet, but it's also…something else," Leo said.

"What do you mean?" Lily asked.

"Well…um…" Leo scratched his head, not sure how to explain.

The boat rumbled beneath their feet as Briney started up the engines. The 'water' behind the ship churned as the motors stirred to life. The gangplank retracted back into the hull, and the ship slowly reversed out of the dock, turned about, and started heading for the exit from the port, steering around any ship too slow to get out of their way. It only took a few minutes for them to clear the other vessels and piers and sail straight out towards the open ocean, rapidly picking up speed and leaving Treasure Town behind. "So long, Treasure Town," Ash said as the cursed burg receded into the distance.

"And good riddance!" Pikachu said. Tiny sucked his pacifier in agreement.

A warm ocean breeze blew over the deck, carrying away the foul scents of Treasure Town and replacing it with the slightly less foul smell of saltwater and Wingull droppings. "Ah, the sea!" Leo exulted as waves lapped against the hull, the _Peeko XI's_ beak and hydrofoils cutting through the water and leaving a broad wake behind them. "The natural habitat of my elemental type. I'd always hoped I'd get a chance to come out here to fight pirates and find treasure on forgotten islands and stuff, but I never thought I'd get out here until I was older and had a ship of my own! And a crew. And some hair."

"Well, you have all those things now," Lily said. "Except for the hair. I don't think you'll ever get any of that."

"You don't know any magical cures for baldness?" Leo asked hopefully.

"Well, I guess I could look…" Lily said, taking out her spellbook.

"You can do that later," Pikachu said. "Now that we're out of range of the town, I think it's safe to bring Sasha here."

"Oh, good idea," Lily said, putting her spellbook away.

"What's the limit and range for your portals, anyway?" Ash asked.

"I can open portals to any place I've been to before, and I think my range is…several hundred miles? I've never really experimented. I'm pretty sure I could jump to anywhere I've been to on this continent before with ease, though I might need to make a few stops in between," Lily said.

"What about other continents?" Leo asked.

Lily bit her lip. "Mmm…no, I don't think I could open portals there from here. They're too far away. I would need at least a few places in between as relay points…and only if I've been to those relay points before."

"Which you haven't been," Ash guessed.

"I'm afraid not, no," Lily apologized. "It's dangerous to open a portal somewhere if you don't know exactly where you're going. The other end could wind up inside a wall, or intersect with a living person. That would be…messy."

"Yeah, that's an understatement," Leo said.

"But you should be fine opening a portal back to Sharpedo Cape?" Pikachu asked.

"Oh yes, most certainly," Lily said. "I could probably even open one from Zero Isle, once we get there."

"Yes, but I don't think Sasha will be able to survive that long with Oak and Tracey, so we might as well just bring her over now before she goes stir-crazy cooped up back there," Pikachu said.

Lily nodded. "All right." She opened a portal to Sharpedo Cape.

Sasha almost immediately jumped through, though her landing was less than perfect as she stumbled and almost fell over when she made contact with the shifting deck under her feet. "Thank you for rescuing me," she said in relief. "They were about to teach me how to tell the difference between words that look the same but mean completely different things!"

"You mean homonyms?" Leo asked.

Sasha shuddered. "I pray you, never say that word again, please." Leo opened his mouth to do just that, but Pikachu closed it for him.

Briney poked his head out of the cockpit to see what was going on. "Ah, you've brought Miss Sasha over. We're all here, then? Everyone feeling all right? If you're seasick, kindly throw up over the sides, if you get vomit on deck you're cleaning it yourselves."

"Seasickness? What's that?" Lily asked in alarm. She had never been sick before—one of the advantages of being a Ghost—but she knew from experience mortals were susceptible to diseases, and was concerned one of her friends might catch something nasty.

"Its not an actual disease, Lily," Leo explained. "You see, us limbed Pokemon are used to walked around on solid, unmoving surfaces. When we get put on boats or other moving objects, we sometimes get disoriented due to the way our center of gravity keeps getting shifted about and the ground under our feet keeps moving. It can make some people's stomachs very queasy, causing them to feel rather ill."

"Oh," Lily said. "Is there a cure?"

"Yeah, you can either take medicine for it or just wait until your body gets acclimated to the roll of the deck and the flow of the waves," Leo said. He looked around at everyone, who seemed to be standing all right on their own, even Sasha now that she had gotten a moment or two to recover. "I think all of us are okay, though." Tiny took out his pacifier and puked all over the deck. "I stand corrected."

"Ash, there's a mop and bucket in that storage closet over there. Start cleaning the deck He's your kid, so he's your responsibility," Briney ordered.

Ash sighed. "Yes, Captain." He took out the cleaning implements and started mopping up Tiny's mess.

"Shouldn't you be helping? You could wash that gunk away with your Water Gun," Pikachu asked Leo.

The Squirtle shrugged. "The Captain told Ash to do it. I wouldn't want to go against his orders and get thrown overboard," Leo said.

Pikachu rolled his eyes. "Lazy ass."

"And proud of it!" Leo said smugly.

"Captain, are we on course for Zero Isle?" Lily asked.

Briney nodded. "I've locked the coordinates into the autopilot, so we're on our way. We should get there in a couple of days or so…so I hope you all have something to occupy yourselves with until we get there, because otherwise it's going to be a long, dull trip."

"I may have a few things we can do…" Leo said. "And once we get there, the filler will have all been worth it because we'll get to fight undead pirates! Bet you're looking forward to that, right Dawn?"

Dawn stared at him blankly. _…What gave you that idea?_

"Well, you know, because of the famous rivalry between pirates and ninjas! I bet you're just itching to decapitate a few of those scurvy scalawags!" Leo said.

Dawn shook her head slowly. _No, not really. I never heard of ninjas being rivals with pirates back when I was in training. Samurais and other ninja clans, yes, but pirates? Not that I was aware of._

Leo staggered back as if physically struck, a look of horror on his face. "P-pirates and ninjas _aren't_ rivals?! But…but that means…a major foundation for my worldview is completely wrong!" Everyone sweatdropped.

"Where did you get the idea that they were enemies from, anyway?" Pikachu asked.

Leo perked up at this. "Well, according to legend, it all started, as most centuries-spanning feuds do, in a bar…"

As Leo regaled them with the story of how ninjas and pirates (supposedly) came to war with each other, and a grumbling Ash swabbed the deck, none of them were aware that they were being followed, their pursuer out of range of Briney and Sasha's senses and the _Peeko XI's_ radar and too small to be seen by the naked eye from such a distance. It didn't help that it blended in with the ocean rather well, either. The mysterious Pokemon dove underwater and tapped a waterproof communicator on the side of its head. "Papa, the Captain's ship has left Treasure Town. Team Aurabolt is on board. _All_ of them."

"_Very good. Are you in pursuit?"_ a voice on the other end queried.

"Yes, Papa," the Pokemon said.

"_Do you know what their heading is?"_

"No, Papa. Not yet."

"_Hmm…keep following them. I'm on my way. We'll triangulate their position using your communicator and our satellites to try and figure out where it is that they're going."_

"Yes Papa. Any other orders?" the Pokemon asked.

"_Not for the moment. Just keep an eye on them…and whatever you do, don't let yourself be seen, though you know that by now, don't you?"_

"Yes, Papa. I'll be careful."

"_Good child. I'll see you shortly."_

The being on the other end hung up. "I'll make you proud, Papa," the Pokemon murmured to itself before continuing its swim after the _Peeko XI._

Several hundred nautical miles away and dozens of fathoms beneath the surface, the being called 'Papa' by some and 'Supreme Admiral of the Nihilators Aquatic Division' by others leaned back in his command chair and contemplated this turn of events. _So, Team Aurabolt has allied with Captain Briney and have headed out to sea…that must mean they have reason to believe that a Star Badge is somewhere out in the ocean! And if it is, then I will find it first…for after all, am I not the ruler of the seas?_ "All hands report to your stations! We're changing course!" he barked.

The immense structure of his submarine fortress rumbled as it shifted directions, fighting against the current as it set its new heading for the _Peeko XI_. A massive dark form swam past the Admiral's window, his ever-present 'pet' and reminder of just how powerful he had become since joining the Nihilators. _Team Aurabolt…you may have managed to overcome Bellum, Doctor Tarantulas, Paul Yami, Hunter J, Pokemon XDra, and even Lord Shadow…but I shall not be as easy to defeat! _He grinned, and the crystalline blue sphere set into one of his arms glowed. The eyes of the dark form outside his window glowed as well…and the creature _roared_, its terrifying wail reverberating through the depths and driving away any Water Pokemon within earshot. The Admiral laughed. _I am the master of the ocean, and soon you will be nothing but chum to feed to my Sharpedos!_

…

Meanwhile, in Pokemon Square…

What was starting to become a regular group had assembled at the Mayor's pond once again. Raiki, Aaron, Scotty, Master Yamiri, Latios, Rayquaza, Nuken, and newcomers Chuck and Charlie's wife, Charla, had been called to a meeting to discuss a disturbing revelation Sabrina and Latias had discovered in their investigation as to poor Allen of Team A.C.T.'s final moments in captivity at Mt. Blaze. Joy had opted out, saying that she was a healer and not a warrior, so had no place in a strategy meeting. (They pointed out that she was immortal, had super-regenerative powers, and enough knowledge on Pokemon anatomy to cripple just about anyone if she really felt like it, but she refused to change her mind.) "As you know," Sabrina said, gesturing to Allen's head, which they had dipped in formaldehyde to keep from decaying further and put on a stand nearby. "Latias and I have spent the last day or so analyzing what's left of Allen's brain to see if we could extract any memories relevant to our upcoming campaign against the Monkey King's forces, any information that will help us find out whatever the King is planning and put a stop to it, so that Team A.C.T.'s destruction will not have been in vain."

"Did you have to bring his…you know, head? It's kind of grossing me out," Latios complained. "It feels like it's staring at me or something…"

"Aye, this dinnae seem very respectful to the dead," Scotty agreed.

"We need it for display purposes," Latias said.

"What, to remind us of the horrible things the barbarians have done and stoke our resolve to destroy them?" Aaron growled, his anger still burning at what the Monkey King had done to one of his oldest friends.

"No, because we need it here to properly display the very important memories we've found pertaining to the Monkey King's plans," Latias said.

"Oh," said Aaron.

"I don't care about plans. Is there anything in there about my husband?" Charla, a lovely (and very muscular) female Charizard with a pink bow on her head and a noticeable bulge in her stomach demanded.

"And why T-Bone turned on us? If I'm going to be smashing his head in for betraying us and getting one of my best students killed, I at least want to know _why_ he decided to turn his back on everything we stand for!" Chuck said.

"I am sure he had his reasons," Master Yamiri said. "And once we know what they are, I'll help you smash his head in."

"You're not giving him the benefit of the doubt, Master?" Raiki asked in surprise.

Yamiri sighed. "I know I should…but I'm too angry and hurt to be in a forgiving mood right now. I cared deeply for all of Team A.C.T. I knew them since the day they were born…just like pretty much everyone else in this town. To see Allen treated like this, to hear of Charlie's torture and T-Bone's betrayal…it's almost too much to bear."

Chuck nodded sympathetically. "I know what you mean, Master…I trained those boys from day one, taught them everything they knew about teamwork and fighting…to see them broken like this makes me feel old and useless."

"Don't count yerself out yet, ye blooming old fatass…we've still got some years left to us, and more than enough strength remaining to make those bastards pay for what they did to our boys!" Scotty said fiercely.

"While I appreciate and exult in vows for justice and revenge as much as anyone else," Nuken interrupted. "I am rather more interested in learning what information Allen discovered before his untimely end that we can use to know what's waiting for us at Mt. Blaze…something I assume that the couriers who we sent running home with their tails between their legs were unaware of?"

Latias nodded. "I didn't see any sign of the information in Allen's head inside their minds. The Monkey King and his upper echelon must be doing their best to keep it a secret from the rank and file, for the time being anyway."

"Why?" the Mayor wondered. "What could he be hiding that's so important he doesn't even want his troops to know about it?"

"We will show you," Sabrina said. "It's rather shocking…and emphasizes how urgent it is that we attack Mt. Blaze and destroy the Monkey King's forces before it's too late and the powers they're summoning erupt from the volcano and destroy the continent."

"That doesn't sound good…" Rayquaza murmured.

Aaron frowned. "What are they planning?"

Sabrina nodded to the divine dragon. "Latias?" The Eon deity nodded and hovered behind Allen's severed head. She placed her claws on either side of his skull and opened her eyes wide, her form lighting up with a pearlescent glow. Suddenly, Pokemon Square and the Mayor's pond vanished as she used sight-sharing to project images from Allen's memory around them, taking them from the sunny middle of town to the molten depths of a volcano. They looked around in awe as the illusion resolved itself into a first-person perspective of a great lake of lava at least half again as big as Pokemon Square as if seen from on high, at the edge of a rather narrow and crooked ledge.

"Whoa," said the impressed Raiki. "This is better than 3-D movies!"

"What is it? I can't see anything," Aaron said.

"You can't?" asked the surprised Raiki.

"Well of course he can't, he's blind," Nuken pointed out.

"Yes, but that's never been a problem before now," Raiki said.

"Latias's Aura is so bright it outshines the energy from…whatever she's done, so I can't see it," Aaron said.

Latias blinked in surprise. "Oh, why didn't you say so, Aaron? Hold on…is that better?"

It didn't look as if anything had changed at all, but Aaron smiled and nodded. "Much better. Thank you, Latias."

"Damn, will you look at the size of this place," a familiar voice muttered, and Charla gasped and everyone looked around to try and find its source. "You could probably fit everyone in town in here! Though they wouldn't last very long after their first dip in that hot tub…we can't all be as durable as Charizards, after all!"

"Quiet, Charlie," another very familiar voice said, causing Aaron and Raiki and everyone else from town to tense up as the viewpoint swiveled up from the lava lake to focus on a large male Charizard standing on the ledge. "We don't want them to hear us!"

"Charlie!" Charla gasped.

"Allen…" Aaron whispered.

"If only I could see his smiling face again…" Scotty sighed.

"His face is right there," Latios said, pointing at the severed head.

"I said _smiling_ face, not rotting husk," the Abra snapped.

"We're too high up, there's no way they can hear us!" the Charizard said diffidently.

Charla sighed and shook her head. "That's my Charlie…overconfident as always."

"We're in the middle of enemy territory. We can't be too careful," Allen, who was of course the person whose eyes they were seeing everything through, cautioned Charlie. "T-Bone, we're still clear?"

A Tyranitar standing at a tunnel opening nearby nodded. "Yeah, I don't think anyone's going to come by—I'm not sure they even know about this old service entrance—but I'll keep an eye out. What's going on down there?"

Allen's gaze turned back to the lava lake. There were several tough-looking heavily-armored Pokemon milling about the shores and tunnels close to it, looking bored. "This place is under heavy guard…but I'm not sure why. It doesn't look like there's anything here, except…" He focused on about a dozen or so immense black rocks rising out of the lava. "I sense something…_odd_ about those rocks. And the guards are afraid of them for some reason. Whatever it is that the Monkey King's up to, it's centered around them."

"What, around a bunch of rocks? I could probably smash them easily. Want me to fly down and take care of them?" Charlie asked.

Allen sighed wearily. "Do the words 'stealth mission' mean nothing to you?"

"Nope!" Charlie said proudly. Charla burst into tears. The others sweatdropped.

"We can't let anyone know we're here. This is a _secret_ mission, remember?" T-Bone said. "So secret nobody outside of the Mayor even knows we're here!"

"I don't know what the big deal is, though," Charlie complained. "Okay, yeah, so the Monkey King's apparently teaming up with some other barbarian warlords _and_ a mysterious unknown power. That's bad, yeah, but is it worth all this secrecy and stuff? Not even my wife knows I'm here! What, does the Mayor think there's a traitor in Pokemon Square or something? That's preposterous!"

The people watching the vision exchanged uncomfortable looks. "I wonder what T-Bone's face looked like when Charlie said that?" Chuck wondered.

The Mayor grimaced. "Maybe I was a little too paranoid…or maybe not paranoid _enough_, since somehow _somebody_ got to T-Bone anyway…"

"Shh, something's happening," Latios said.

"Shh, something's happening," Allen said. The guards down in the cavern stood to attention and turned their gaze up at a ledge high on the opposite side of the cavern (not as high as the one Team A.C.T. was standing on, though) as a pair of great cauldrons ignited and a trio of figures strode out from the tunnel between them.

There was a sharp intake of breath as everyone saw who the newcomers were. "It's the Monkey King!" Scotty cried, staring at one of the figures, a massive Infernape with muscles piled on top of muscles, a number of gold rings, necklaces, earrings, and noserings adorning his form, and a jagged flame-shaped coronet encircling his naturally fiery hair. The guards on the ground saluted him, and he nodded curtly.

"And Bellum…" Nuken whispered, his gaze fixed on a sinister-looking Froslass.

"Wait, how can a Froslass be in a volcano?" asked the confused Chuck.

"It would take fires far hotter than those of Mt. Blaze to melt that witch…" Nuken snarled. Rayquaza shuddered.

"So, that's the Bellum we keep hearing about…" Raiki murmured.

"She certainly looks like a frosty bitch," Scotty said.

"But who the heck's that third guy?" Latios wondered, nodding at the third figure, an amorphous shape covered in a hooded cloak.

"Could it be…our enigmatic foe, the sorcerer who sabotaged our summoning ritual and created the shields around Mt. Blaze and the Amber Palace?" Master Yamiri wondered.

"If it is…who is it? And what's its connection to the Nihilators?" Raiki wondered.

"Something doesn't look right about it…" Aaron murmured.

"Something else is happening," said the Mayor.

"Something else is happening," Allen said as the Monkey King glanced across the cavern to another ledge, where a pair of guards had appeared. The King nodded, and the guards on the ground started hooting and cheering as one of the guards on the ledge walked into a tunnel and came back out with an emaciated slave bound in chains, who he promptly hurled over the edge and into the lava. The poor prisoner's piteous screams were cut off as it splashed into the pool, and was instantly consumed by the molten rock. The viewers in the real world gasped.

"What the hell?" T-Bone murmured.

"Those bastards! Let me at them!" Charlie snarled.

"Wait," Allen said as the guards threw more prisoners into the lava. "It may seem callous, but we need to see this. This can't be just a simple execution. No, I sense…anticipation on everyone's minds. Something's going to happen."

"It had better…because I want tae know what the Abyss those bastards are up to, killing innocent people like that," Scotty snarled.

"At least they are in a better place now," Master Yamiri said.

"Actually…" Sabrina started.

The Sableye glanced at her. "What do you mean?"

"You'll see in a moment. But Allen is right: there is more to this than simple immolation," Latias said.

"And in the meantime, it gives us another reason to make those bastards pay…" Raiki growled angrily. The others nodded in agreement.

This became clear when Allen gasped and the big rocks in the lava pool started shaking. Veins of magma cracked along their length, and the hooting and cheering of the guards increased. The guards on the ledge threw more and more slaves into the pool, causing the shaking and cracking to increase. "Oh my," said the startled Mayor.

"Okay, seriously, what the heck are those things?!" Latios wondered.

"Something that needs to be destroyed," Nuken said. "_Especially _if Bellum's involved!"

"Wait a second," Charla whispered. "Is it just me, or do those look like…"

"Eggs?" Aaron finished.

"Wait a second…are those _eggs?!_" Charlie asked, echoing their thoughts.

"If they are…I don't want to meet what's in them…" T-Bone murmured.

"I think we may be about to…look!" Allen said, a spoon appearing in the field of vision and jabbing at the rocks as the shaking and cracking became so great that large slabs began sliding off the stone formations, revealing…

Everyone gasped. "Holy shit!" Chuck yelled. "What the blazes are those things?!"

"What in the Abyss?!" Rayquaza cried.

"You are more right than you know," whispered Sabrina.

Yamiri paled, a horrified look on his face as he stared at what now sat in the lava pool: about a dozen or so giant transparent orange egg-shaped shells, what looked like gargantuan _fetuses_ with skin like the lava they were bathed in visible beneath the surface, curled up upon themselves but stirring and burning brighter as the ledge guards kept throwing Pokemon sacrifices into the pool. "Those are Devil Golems!"

Everyone gasped again. "Devil whatnows?" Latios asked. Everyone sweatdropped.

"Devil Golems," Latias said seriously. "One of the most dangerous and inPokemane monstrosities to be created by the Ruler of Evil during the Crisis Wars. By killing great scores of people as sacrifices, the Ruler could use their souls to animate living weapons of astonishing might and destructive power…giant soldiers that can march forever, never tiring or needing to pause in their rampages. The Ruler deployed vast armies of them to target planets, sweeping over their surfaces and wiping out everything in their paths. After the Ruler finished construction of the Gaiavore, Devil Golems became somewhat obsolete, but were still used as shock troops and guardians. We thought that we had eliminated all the Devil Golems and freed the souls animating them after the war, and destroyed all knowledge on how to create new ones. Clearly we were wrong."

"The Ruler of Evil killed innocent people to make things like that?!" asked the shocked Latios. "Dang…no wonder it's called the Ruler of _Evil_."

"Not innocent people," Yamiri said. "Most of the souls the Ruler used for the Devil Golems were volunteers."

"Volunteers?!" cried the startled Charla. "People _chose_ to be turned into horrible things like that?!"

"According to legend, the Ruler of Evil was incredibly charismatic," Aaron said. "Its armies loved it. They would do anything for it. Even give up their very souls…"

"The Monkey King's forces must not be as loyal, if they're happier tossing innocent people into the pit rather than throwing themselves in…" Raiki commented. "A pity, that would have given us fewer of them to fight."

"Nuken…_my_ soldiers wouldn't kill themselves like that if I asked them to, would I?" Rayquaza asked anxiously.

"Well of course they would, my liege. You are their god and sovereign. What mon would not throw down their life for their deity?" Nuken said.

"…Ah. Right." Rayquaza fidgeted unhappily.

"Okay, those things definitely look like bad news," Charlie said. "We need to tell the Mayor about this!"

The Mayor sighed. "If only you had sooner…if only…"

"The whole town needs to know about those things…I sense a great evil from them, a boundless desire to consume and destroy everything before them…" Allen said.

"It looks like the Monkey King is talking with those weirdoes down there," T-Bone commented. "Can you read their minds and tell what they're saying?"

"No…something about them worries me. I think that if I tried to peer into their minds, they might look back. Fortunately, I'm good at lip-reading. Let's see what they have to say…" Allen said, focusing on the King, Bellum, and the cloaked figure.

"These creatures are magnificent," the awestruck Monkey King said as he beheld the gestating forms of the nascent Devil Golems. "Such size and power…it is a wonder that they were ever driven to extinction!"

"But they are being granted a second chance at life under your command, O Great King," Bellum crooned, causing Nuken to growl angrily. "With you at their head, they shall cut a burning swath across Kanjohenn, and destroy Pokemon Square!"

"And I am the only one you have given these marvelous creatures to?" the King asked sharply. "You have not given any similar…'advantages' to Redwing or the Hive Queen?"

"While he agreed to join forces with you, the Queen, and my liege to destroy Pokemon Square and all other traces of civilization on this continent, Redwing refused any of our gifts, trusting in the strength of his own wings and claws rather than taking the aid of strangers, wary of what might be attached to it," Bellum said with a scowl.

The King grinned. "Heh. An understandable choice. I, too, might have turned you down at first if you had not demonstrated just what sort of power you 'Nihilators' could command. And the Queen?"

"We are giving her and her forces certain…'enhancements.' But nothing quite as good as these Devil Golems, O Great King," Bellum said.

The King snorted. "And I'm sure that's exactly what you told her when she asked you that question…hmmph. No matter. Once Pokemon Square and its pathetic people are naught but ashes, I shall deal with Redwing and the Hive Queen."

"Even with the Devil Golems, you may have a bit of trouble prevailing over both your enemies _and_ your own allies," Bellum warned him. "Which is why we decided to obtain something else to, shall we say, even the odds?"

The King frowned. "Another gift? I should probably be suspicious of your generosity…and, in fact, I am…but if it will allow me to unite this continent under my burning paw…I will take whatever consequences come with it. What is this gift?"

"Power-greedy fool," Yamiri said angrily.

"Huh, so Redwing knew better than to accept the Nihilator's help? Well, that's one point in his favor…" Raiki said.

"A posthumous point, what with him being dead and all," Scotty said.

Chuck frowned. "I wonder if this 'Tyson' will be as wise, especially since he's serving _another_ master…just what is Giovanni up to?"

"We can find out what he's planning once we take care of the King," Aaron said.

"I hope this new 'gift' of his won't make that harder than it should be…" the Mayor said.

"Ask, and you shall receive," Bellum said with a bow. "Witness what we have brought to you, O Monkey King…witness what we Nihilators have obtained! Behold the power of a GOD!" She gestured at the lava pool, and its surface began bubbling ominously. The guards exchanged confused looks and paused in their merrymaking and body dumping. They had not been informed about this. What was going on?

They got their answer when something _enormous_, even bigger than the Devil Golem eggs, erupted from deep within the pool, embers and droplets of magma flying off its form as it reared back its head and roared furiously, shaking its plated red hide and straining at the goliath chains binding it in place. The guards screamed in alarm and ran away from the edge of the pool as the beast shrieked and thrashed about, the Monkey King recoiled in surprise, and the members of Team A.C.T. gasped in horror, as did the audience. "No way…" Charlie whispered. "That's…"

"Groudon!" Allen cried.

And so it appeared. The mighty Ground legendary, the Continent Pokemon who had battled his rival Kyogre throughout history for domination of land over sea, lay bound in the lake below them, his behemoth body struggling against his bonds as he tried to break free and lay waste to his captors. "Holy shit!" Raiki cried. "They captured _Groudon?!"_

"But how is that possible? I thought Ash and Pikachu defeated and sealed him away months ago!" Chuck said.

"But how is that possible? I thought we defeated and sealed him away months ago!" Charlie said.

"I thought Team Aurabolt did that," T-Bone said.

"Well, yeah, but we softened him up for them!" Charlie asserted.

The viewers sweatdropped. "Oh, Charlie…" Charla sighed.

"Th-that is Groudon!" the astonished Monkey King stammered. "You were able to capture a _god?!_"

"Not just one…but many! Nearly all the legendaries now belong to the Nihilators," Bellum said smugly. "You were correct to ally with us, Great King…for we are _stronger_ than the gods, and with our aid, you shall become the undisputed ruler of Kanjohenn!"

"But…Groudon is…a god!" the King protested. "How am I to use his power? None can control the gods! They are at the top of the savage hierarchy of nature…aren't they?"

"Not anymore they aren't…you shall take their place, once you have this," Bellum said, gesturing to her colleague, who produced a red crystal sphere. "Behold, the Red Orb!"

Yamiri gasped in horror. "No…not that!"

"You know what that is, Master?" asked the surprised Rayquaza.

"Of course he is, he's a high-ranking Arcean priest, they know all about ancient evil relics and things like that," Chuck said smugly. "And he's _our_ town priest, too."

"Aye, we really lucked out when he decided to settle here, didn't we?" Scotty agreed.

The Monkey King blinked and stared at the sphere. "The Red Orb? What is that?"

"An artifact of ancient magic with the power to control a god…specifically, Groudon," Bellum said, as she took the sphere from her cloaked companion. "It was sealed away and all knowledge of it erased so none could dare use it against Groudon…until now, that is! By using this, you can synchronize your heart with Groudon's and gain control over him…you shall become his master, and he will be forced to obey your every whim! You shall have the power of a god, nay, you shall BECOME a god!"

"Become…a god…" the Monkey King whispered, the red sheen of the Orb reflecting in his blue eyes.

"Will you accept this power, Great King? Will you become more than just a barbarian leader…and ascend to godhood?" Bellum asked.

A grin slowly formed on the Monkey King's face. "A god…a _god_…yes…YES! GIVE IT TO ME! GIVE ME THE POWER!"

"Woo boy. This sort of thing never ends well…" Raiki murmured.

Latias rolled her eyes. "Tell me about it. You wouldn't believe the number of times I've had to cut a would-be conqueror with delusions of godhood down to size. Or gods with delusions of conquest. They're both pretty annoying."

"It is yours," Bellum said, handing him the Red Orb. "Take it, with our blessing. Use it to fulfill your destiny as ultimate ruler of Kanjohenn!!"

The King frowned in puzzlement as he held the sphere in his paw. "But…how do I use it? How do I obtain its power?"

"Listen to the Orb. It will tell you all you need to know," Bellum said.

The King gave her a confused look. "Listen to it? What do you…" He paused, his eyes going unfocused. "Ah," he said after a moment, grinning again. "I see."

He turned to face the immense red monster wildly thrashing about and churning the lava. "GROUDON!" he shouted, raising the Red Orb into the air. "HEAR MY WORDS!" Groudon paused in his frenzied bellows to look at the Infernape in confusion, wondering what the puny mortal possibly had to say that would interest him other than a sincere apology, a promise to let him go, and offering up his own life as penance for his crime. "I AM GAL, KING OF THE MONKEYS, FIRE LORD, AND FUTURE RULER OF KANJOHENN! BY THE POWER OF THE RED ORB, I COMMAND YOU! SUBMIT TO MY WILL…FOR _I_ AM YOUR MASTER NOW, AND WITH YOUR MIGHT, I SHALL CRUSH THIS CONTINENT AND ALL WHO STAND BEFORE ME UNDER MY HEEL!" The Red Orb emitted brilliant rays of crimson light, and a rune resembling the markings on Groudon's limbs formed on the King's torso and forehead.

"Not good. Not good…" Yamiri hissed.

"Well, at least he has a bitching tattoo," Latios said.

"He's the bad guy. How is getting one of those good?" Charla asked.

"…Good question," Latios admitted. "Still, it looks cool." The others sweatdropped.

Groudon recoiled, growling in pain. He squeezed his eyes shut as red static crackled around his body, then threw back his head and roared, causing the entire cavern to shake. The soldiers on the ground screamed and ran about as rocks fell from the ceiling and bits of lava and fire sloshed out of the lake. Gal growled and clenched the Red Orb tighter, causing its luminosity to increase. "You can resist all you want, Groudon…but you are MINE now! You cannot go against the will of he who wields the Red Orb, not against one whose soul burns with the same fury as yours, the desire to make your power and will greater than all others! Submit to me…and together, we shall dominate not just Kanjohenn, but all the world, drying up the loathsome seas and creating one great landmass under my rule, a landmass where only the strongest thrive…and you and I will be the strongest of all!" He grinned cruelly, his eyes turning from blue to red, matching the hue of the Red Orb. "Give in…after all you know it's what you _really_ want, isn't it?"

Groudon's body shook, muscles trembling with pain as he tried with all his might to resist…but apparently, his might was not enough, and finally his thrashing subsided. Slowly his eyes opened, his irises transformed from their usual yellow to the same color as that of the Monkey King's. The god's eyes locked with Gal's…and then the Monkey King smiled, knowing that he had won. "I…I did it. I have the power of a god. I am…I am a god! A GOD! Hahahahahaha! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Pillars of fire surged out of the cauldrons behind him in reaction to his newfound power. The barbarians around the room stared at him in awe, then started dancing and cheering excitedly, while the guards on the ledge eagerly resumed throwing people into the lava pit, not just as sacrifices for the Devil Golems but tributes to their new god. Bellum folded her arms and grinned evilly, while the cloaked figure did nothing but stand there enigmatically.

"Damn," said a shocked Chuck.

"This does not bode well," the Mayor said.

"What blasphemy!" Yamiri hissed.

"Well, now we know what the barbarians yesterday meant about having a god of their own…" Aaron said.

"And why my sister's psychic scans said they thought the _King_ was their god…because he is one now! Sort of," Latios said.

"This could be a problem…" Scotty said.

"It gets worse," Sabrina said.

"Damn…Allen, we gotta get out of here!" Charlie said anxiously.

Allen's line of sight turned away from the pit. "I agree. The Mayor needs to know about this. _Everyone_ does."

"I'm afraid I can't let you guys do that," T-Bone, who was now wearing a mask of some strange golden metal with red eyes, said. Everyone tensed, realizing what was coming.

Charlie looked at the Tyranitar in surprise. "Huh? What are you talking about? And why're you wearing that weird mask-" He was cut off when T-Bone lashed out with Iron Tail, smashing his long and powerful rear appendage into Charlie's jaw, smashing him into the wall with enough force to not only knock the Charizard out cold but break several of his bones as well. Charla screamed bloody murder.

"T-Bone! What do you think you're doing?!" Allen cried in disbelief.

"That's something _I'd_ like to ken!" Scotty snarled.

"I'm sorry, Allen," the Tyranitar said. "But this is the only way to save the town."

"Only…what are you talking-" There was a flash of darkness as T-Bone fired a Dark Pulse, the energy blast filling Allen's vision. Then things grew even darker, as presumably the Alakazam passed out.

"That's the end of it," Latias said, her glow fading and the Mayor's pond snapping back into focus around them. "There were some other memories, mainly of him being tortured by the Monkey King's mons, but I didn't think you wanted to see those."

"Yes, thanks, what you showed us was enough," Rayquaza said.

"That bastard…what was he thinking?!" Chuck snarled.

"And what was up with that mask?" Scotty wondered.

"He's a member of Team Rocket," Latias said.

Everyone started at this. "What?! You mean that weird group Giovanni's in charge of that we don't really know anything about?!" asked the alarmed Mayor.

"And who Tyson is apparently a part of, according to what you got off him when you rescued Zoro and Wes's crew?" Rayquaza asked.

Latias nodded. "I saw in Tyson's mind that Giovanni had a Tyranitar agent inside of Mt. Blaze named Vicious, the Iron Masked Marauder. When I heard that Team A.C.T. had a Tyranitar member and they had gone missing in Mt. Blaze, I began to wonder if maybe they weren't somehow connected…"

"Why didn't you bring this up before now?" Aaron demanded.

"Because I wasn't sure if they were the same person. After all, just because one Tyranitar's a criminal doesn't mean that every other Tyranitar is one too, right?" Latias said. "I admit, I thought there was a good chance that Vicious and T-Bone might have been the same person…but I didn't want to mention it until I was certain."

"Which we are now," Sabrina said.

"Then this means Giovanni is involved too?" said the confused Raiki. "This just gets weirder and weirder…does that mean he's in cahoots with the Nihilators as well?"

Latias shook her head. "From what I picked up from Tyson, Team Rocket is _opposed_ to the Nihilators…and they seem to be trying to infiltrate the barbarian hordes to find out what they're up to and stop them. However, they also intend to conquer the world, so I can't say for certain whether we can consider them allies or not."

"If they believed that betraying Allen and Charlie would help them further their goals, then there's no way I'll _ever_ consider them allies!" Aaron snarled.

"Is that what he meant by 'saving the town?' That by betraying Team A.C.T. to win the trust of the barbarians, he could help this Team Rocket get one step closer to…whatever it is they're up to, saving Pokemon Square in the process?" Yamiri wondered.

"Even if that's the case, there's no way we can trust or forgive him for what he's done," Chuck said firmly. "Even if he was doing what he felt was necessary, he went too far. As did Giovanni, whatever that bastard is planning…"

"I'll kill him," Charla whispered. "Giovanni and T-Bone and the Monkey King and anyone else who's hurt my baby…"

Aaron nodded. "We will be happy to have you fight alongside us, Charla."

"But…she's pregnant. Shouldn't she stay behind?" Latios asked.

"On the contrary, there are few things more dangerous in this world than an over-leveled Charizard who's already almost always on edge due to being pregnant. Throw in a bloodthirsty desire for revenge and to save her soulmate, and you get a force of destruction that not many of us would like to face in battle," Raiki said.

"I'll tear Mt. Blaze apart with my bare claws if I have to to save Charlie and kill T-Bone!" Charla roared.

"You won't have to, because we'll all be there too," Aaron said.

Raiki nodded. "The stakes have been raised. Those stupid monkeys have not just a small army of Devil Golems about to wake up, but freaking _Groudon_ on their side? We're going to need to bring in our best Rescue Teams on this."

"As well as the strongest dragons in the Imperial Guard and some of our…other forces," Nuken said. "They will be more than delighted to take part in this battle, especially once they learn Groudon is one of our enemies!"

"They will? Why?" Rayquaza asked.

"My liege, have you forgotten that you are the great mediator who balances the opposing forces created by Groudon and Kyogre whenever they wage war on each other?" Nuken asked. "One of your many duties is to calm their anger whenever they fight, as well as to quell their fury if they should be rampaging around the countryside on their own. The troops will see their battle against a force controlling Groudon as a holy mission, assisting their God-Emperor in restoring balance to the forces of nature once again!"

"That's right, I'd participate even if my husband weren't in danger, Your Excellency," said Charla, who, like most Charizards, was a devout Rayquaza worshipper that nobody had gotten around to telling that the Pokemon she believed was her god sort of…wasn't. (Or was he?)

"Ah. Right," Rayquaza grunted.

Latios frowned. "Wait, if that's your job, then why did Team Aurabolt and A.C.T. have to take care of Groudon waking up a few months ago instead of you?"

"I was recovering from a rather bad hangover," Rayquaza said.

"…Oh," Latios said.

"I will help as well," Latias said. "You will require my power to break through the shield surrounding Mt. Blaze…though after that, I'm afraid you'll be on my own."

"Sis, are you sure there isn't another way?" Latios asked anxiously. "I don't want you putting yourself too much at risk!"

"I am the Guardian of Light. Being at risk is my _job_," she pointed out.

Latios sighed. "All right…but if you're going to put your life on the line, I guess I might as well help out. I can't let my sister get in trouble by herself, now can I?" Latias smiled, beaming gratitude and appreciation over their telepathic bond. He smirked Mareepishly.

"If we are to launch an attack on Mt. Blaze, it will have to be soon," Sabrina said. "The other memories we have gleaned from Allen's mind, as well as my own visions, have informed us that the Devil Golems are on the brink of hatching. If we cannot destroy them before they emerge from their birthing pool, it will be almost impossible to stop them, and I am uncertain if even the town's shields will be able to stand against their and Groudon's power for long. Additionally, the Monkey King's power grows by the minute the longer he is tied to Groudon by the Red Orb. He must be defeated before he gets so strong that even another god would have trouble besting him."

"How much time do we have?" Nuken asked.

"A matter of days, at most," Sabrina said.

"Yikes," said Rayquaza.

"That's not a lot of time…" Yamiri murmured.

"It'll have tae do," Scotty said. "We've been in dire straits before, but we prevailed then too…with nearly all of our top Rescue Teams back home and all our new allies standing beside us, those dirty monkeys dinnae stand a chance!"

Chuck nodded in agreement. "Definitely. I know how strong our teams are…I trained them all myself! And with Aaron back in the game to lead them, I think we have a good chance at winning this!"

"Don't count me out," Raiki said. "If Aaron's fighting, so am I!"

Aaron smirked. "Then does this mean Team Auraforce is officially reformed?"

"Definitely! I never really considered us disbanded in the first place, just…temporarily going our own way," Raiki said.

Aaron chuckled. "Well, I greatly anticipate fighting alongside you again, old friend." Everyone smiled as the duo shook hands. It was always good to see old comrades joining forces again after too long apart.

"May I join too?" Charla asked. "If I'm going to be rescuing my Charlie, I might as well do it with the best in the business."

"Sure, we'd be glad to have you, Charla," Aaron said.

"Welcome to the team!" Raiki said.

"We'll have to act quickly," the Mayor said decisively. "All right…let's start planning strategy! If we're going to do this, we're going to do it right! It takes more than a blind charge to take down a fortress like Mt. Blaze, after all."

They spent the rest of the day and part of the evening plotting their attack. There was a lot of arguing and debating, and a few times even came close to blows, but by the time Delia came by with dinner to remind them to eat, they felt they finally had a plan of action that had a fairly good chance of success.

One thing was for certain: even if the Monkey King was expecting them to attack, he probably wasn't going to see _this_ coming…

…

Some time earlier, in Pueltown…

"Wow, thisss placcce isss a pretty sssweet pad," Evan commented as they entered the Selene Theater.

"Well, it's a big-time theater, they're supposed to look nice," Gary said. "You're right though, it is pretty swank."

The lobby of the Selene Theater was indeed quite opulent. The floors were tiled with marble and covered by soft ornate carpeting, thick marble pillars supported the arched ceiling overhead which was covered by an amazing mural of a starry night with full Moon, props and costumes from famous shows were displayed in glass cases all over the place, and the wall was covered in paintings and pictures of theater patrons and scenes from memorable shows. Other than a janitor or two, the lobby was mostly empty, save for a harried-looking Sunflora that was, for some reason, talking to a magnificent portrait of a mysterious cloaked figure wearing a white opera mask.

"Oh great Spirit, patron deity of the arts, please lend me your aid!" they heard the flower plead desperately as they walked over. "My lead actors and all their understudies have been hospitalized in a freak food poisoning accident, and they won't be out of the Pokemon Center until after the premiere! I have nobody else to replace them. If I can't find somebody to take their roles, my play's grand debut will be a flop, and I'll be ruined! I'll never find work in this town again! Oh Spirit, please, I beg of you, send me someone I can use to save the show!"

"Hi there," Gary said.

The Sunflora yelped and jumped, nearly dropping a transparent brick she was holding with what looked like a glass shard embedded in it. "Ack! Don't sneak up on me!" she scolded them as she turned around. She frowned, looking them over. "Who are you? I don't think I've seen you around the theater before. Are you new in town?"

"You could say that," Gary said, striking a dramatic pose, eager to make a good first impression (especially considering how most of their other first impressions were bad ones). "My name is Gary, and this is Evan and Mary. We're Team Nightshade, a group of heroes who go around helping those in need!"

"When we aren't dessstroying livesss and leaving ruin in our wake," Evan said. Mary punched him. "Ow…"

Maren cleared her throat. "Huh? Oh, and this is Maren, our guide," Gary said as an afterthought. "And who would you be, ma'am?"

"My name is Hayzee. I'm an aspiring playwright and director," the Sunflora said. She gave them an appraising look. "Hmm…you help people in need, do you? I might actually need the services of someone like you…"

"We were hoping you could help us, actually," Mary confessed. She quickly explained their quest to find the pieces of the Magnificent Compass and save Princess Sara from the nefarious Berry King.

"The Berry King? But I thought he was a good guy," said the confused Hayzee.

"So did we, but that didn't stop him from abducting the Princess," said Maren.

"According to the Compass," Gary said, glancing at the artifact in his hands. "The Pueltown piece is right in your leaf."

Hayzee looked at the object she was holding in surprise. "What, this? This is the Shard of Creativity, one of the highest awards it's possible for an artist to get in Pueltown! I received it this year for submitting the script of an updated rewrite of the classic play Maria and Draco."

Mary, Maren, and Evan gasped, eyes lighting up. "Maria and Draco?!" Mary cried.

"I love that play!" Maren squealed.

"Yeah, it'sss one of the mossst beautiful and ssstirring playsss in the hissstory of theater!" Evan agreed. "I've _alwaysss_ wanted to sssee a live performanccce…"

Gary sweatdropped. "Maria and Draco? I'm not a big fan of theater. What's it about?"

"The armies of the East are battling the forces of the West. The hero of the Western army is a warrior named Draco, who is in love with the Western princess, Maria. When the West loses the war against the East and Draco is presumed lost, Maria is forced to marry the Eastern Prince, Ralse. During a ball, the survivors of the West, led by Draco, launch a surprise attack. A duel ensues between Draco and Ralse, in which the latter is defeated. Maria and Draco then live together happily ever after," Hayzee explained. Mary, Maren, and Evan all sighed happily, causing Gary to sweatdrop again. "I've made a few modifications to the original to make it more accessible to modern viewers. It was supposed to make its grand debut in just a few nights…but the actors who were going to perform as Maria, Draco, and Ralse have all fallen sick, as have their understudies and anyone else capable of taking their place! If I can't find replacements in time, I'll be the laughingstock of Pueltown! I'll never be able to show my face in public again!"

"Hmm…" Gary said, getting an idea. "Maybe we can help each other out, then…"

Mary gasped, eyes lighting up with hope. "Oh Gary, you don't mean what I think you are, do you?"

Gary nodded. "Yep…Hayzee, you've just found your replacement actors!"

The Sunflora gave him a dubious look-over. "You four? Hmm…well…have you had any experience in acting before?"

"I was a human in a past life," Gary said.

"I wasss a log in the Holiday Pageant lassst year," Evan said.

"I've dressed up in my mother's—and 'aunts'—spare clothes for years practicing the part of Maria and other theater heroines in my bedroom since I was a little girl," said Mary.

"And I've taken…a few classes," Maren said, which was true, just not the classes that they were probably thinking of. She _was_ basically a secret agent, after all. Acting was sort of a requirement for her line of work.

"Hmm…" Hayzee rubbed her chin in thought. "And let me guess…in return, you want me to give you the Shard of Creativity?"

"That would be nice, yes," Gary said.

"I don't know…" Hayzee said. "The Shard of Creativity is one of our town's greatest treasures. Even if you _are_ going to save my show, I'm not sure I can just hand it over…"

"We could give you one of the diamonds we picked up in Volcano Cave to replace it," Gary said.

Evan gave the Gengar a shocked look. "What?! But Gary, thossse jewelsss are _oursss_!"

"Exactly, which means we can use them whichever way we choose to, and in this circumstance I see no reason we can't give one to Hayzee to replace the Compass Piece she's generously going to give us in return for helping her with her show," Gary said.

"But I wasss going to ussse them to make a giant diamond-ssstudded ring for Hissssssa to wear when I asssk her to marry me…" Evan complained.

"It's just one diamond, we still have plenty more," Mary pointed out.

"Yeah…but I like diamondsss…and Hisssssa likesss ssshiny thingsss…" Evan grumbled.

"Hmm…I suppose a diamond _would_ make a nicer-looking trophy than a piece of broken glass from a compass," Hayzee admitted. "All right, it's a deal. You help me put on my play, and I'll give you the Shard."

"Score!" Gary whooped.

"Wow, and we didn't even have to steal it or destroy anyone's lives this time, too," Maren said.

"Give it time, I'm sssure we'll get to it sssooner or later," Evan said pessimistically.

"So which roles will we be playing?" Mary asked, desperately hoping she would be chosen for the part of Maria. It was something she'd been practicing almost her entire life for, after all, and she thought she would look much better in a dress than Maren. She had a better figure for it. Her mother always said so…as did her 'aunts.'

"Well, let's see…" Hayzee walked in circles around them for a moment, looking at them carefully and making small noises under her breath. "Well…Gary seems the obvious pick for the role of Draco. There's something dashingly dark and handsome about him, which suits Draco's roguish character."

"I agree on the dark part…but handsssome?" Evan snickered. Gary glared at him.

"Sounds good to me," Gary said, looking back at Hayzee. Mary's face turned red. If Gary were Draco, would that mean that he and she were going to have to…kiss?

"As for you, Maren, you'll do well as Prince Ralse," Hayzee continued.

Maren blinked. "What? But I'm a womon!"

"Oh, that never matters in theater. Besides, you have a rather androgynous look to you. The audience will have no problem perceiving you as a mon," Hayzee said.

"…Gee, thanks…" Maren grumbled. Oh well, at least she'd get to perform in one of her favorite plays. That was something, wasn't it?

"Which, of course, leaves the part of Maria. And I don't think there's anyone here more qualified to play her part…" Mary clasped her hands together joyfully, a broad grin splitting her face from ear to ear. "Than Evan!" Hayzee announced.

Mary's smile froze on her face. "What?!"

Evan gasped in delight. "M-me? Play Maria?!" He burst into tears of joy. "Oh…oh! I never thought thisss day would come! I've alwaysss hoped and dreamed I would have a chanccce to play Maria one day, only to sssee my prayersss dassshed time and time again…but now, I finally get the opportunity I've been waiting all my life for! Oh, I acccept, I acccept, I ACCCEPT!"

"…What the fuck," Gary said flatly. "I'm gonna have to kiss Evan?! I mean, I'm assuming there's kissing in this, since it's a love story and all."

"Pretty much, yeah," Maren said. "Don't worry, I'm sure you can fake it."

"I hope so…" Gary said, still looking disgusted.

"You can't be serious! You're making _him_ Maria?!" Mary asked incredulously. "His gender, lack of talent, and problems with personal hygiene aside, why are you picking him over me?! I've been practicing for the role of Maria all my life! I know her lines forward and back! I even have a _name_ similar to hers!"

"That's all true," Hayzee agreed. "However, there's one thing you have that disqualifies you right from the start."

"What?!" Mary demanded.

"Your hips," said Hayzee.

"…My what?" Mary asked.

"Your hips. They're too big," Hayzee said. "Maria is supposed to be a vision of female perfection and beauty. It wouldn't do for her to look like she was putting on weight."

The rest of Team Nightshade examined Mary's hips. "Hmm, yeah, I see what she means," Gary said.

Evan nodded. "You _have_ been eating too much junk food lately, Mary. Tsssk, tsssk, you ssshould have known it would go ssstraight to your thighsss!"

"…But I'm a Medicham! My hips are _supposed _to look this big!" Mary screamed.

"Which is probably why no Medicham has ever played the role of Maria in any major production that I'm aware of," Hayzee said. "Evan, on the other hand, has no hips. He's perfectly skinny and smooth, and would look perfect in Maria's dress."

"Thanksss, my mom alwaysss thought ssso, too," Evan said, blushing from flattery.

"But…but…" Mary protested. "Then…then what am _I_ supposed to do?!"

"Oh, don't worry, I still have a very important role for you to play, Mary," Hayzee said.

"What?!" Mary asked angrily.

"Grass," Hayzee said.

"…Grass?!" Mary cried in disbelief.

Hayzee nodded. "Oh yes, grass is a very important theme in my version. It's crucial somebody play the part, and I can't think of anything you would do a better job as."

Mary burst into tears. As Gary awkwardly comforted her, Maren commented, "I don't remember there being any grass in Maria and Draco."

"Well, I told you I've made some changes to the script to update it for modern times," Hayzee admitted. "But I promise, the soul of the play is unchanged from the original! If it had been, I'm pretty sure I would have been lynched by now."

"Yeah, and I would have helped," Evan said. Maren nodded in agreement.

"Thankfully, it shouldn't come to that." Hayzee smiled happily. "Thank you for agreeing to help me. I admit you're not the sort of actors I was expecting, but I suppose you're the answer to my prayers nonetheless. Praise the Spirit for sending you to me!"

"The who?" Gary asked, glancing over the weeping Mary's shoulder.

"The Spirit is thought of as the guardian god of Pueltown, though nobody knows if he's actually a god, or even a Ghost-type," Maren informed him.

"Oh, I think I read about him in my guidebook!" Evan said.

Hayzee nodded and pointed to the portrait behind her. "The Spirit has been around since Pueltown's founding. Not only does he fight crime and protect our city from outside threats, he's also a great patron of the arts. He annually donates thousands of Poke' to museums and theaters, and often helps struggling artists whom he sees a spark of promise in by tutoring them and giving them inspiration."

"Did he help you write your version of Maria and Draco?" Maren asked.

Hayzee nodded. "One night I fell asleep from exhaustion after spending hours trying to work out the script. When I woke up the next morning, I found that somebody had written notes all over the margins and between the lines with helpful suggestions, and there was a silver rose near my bed. It's sort of his trademark, you see."

"…That doesn't strike you as sort of stalker-ish?" Gary asked.

"Considering that his edits and comments helped me pull the whole thing together and win this year's Shard of Creativity, I don't even care if he rummaged through my fridge while I was sleeping!" Hayzee paused. "Which he did. He left a note apologizing for finishing the last of the meatloaf I'd been saving."

"Ooh, do you think he'sss going to sssee our performanccce?" Evan asked eagerly.

"I hope so," said Hayzee. "Every playhouse in town has a box set aside for him in case he should happen to want to come and see a show in private. He's always considerate enough to send a note ahead of time to let the management know he's coming, and always pays the rent on the box to make sure nobody else uses it."

"Sounds like a pretty conscientious guy," Gary commented. "I think we could learn a lot from him. What kind of Pokemon is he, anyway?"

"Nobody's really sure," Hayzee admitted. "Even those who were personally saved or trained by him aren't positive what he looked like after he's gone."

"How mysssteriousss…" Evan said.

"And romantic," Mary said with a sniff, having recovered somewhat from her previous emotional breakdown and the crushing of her childhood dreams.

"Well, I for one hope he decides to pay us a visit, not just to help us put on the best show possible…but also to teach us how to be better heroes," Gary said.

"Asssuming he doesssn't drop a ccchandelier on usss or ssstring usss up in the raftersss for not having enough talent…" Evan said anxiously.

"Oh, you don't have to worry about that, he hardly ever does that anymore," Hayzee said. Everyone sweatdropped.

_What have I gotten myself into this time?_ Maren wondered as Hayzee started handing out scripts. _A wacky race is one thing, but now I'm in a play?! Then again, I _did_ always want to get up on stage…hmm. Maybe this won't be so bad._ She blushed. _And maybe the Spirit won't be the _only_ person watching me strut about in costume, if the message I got earlier is anything to go by…_

The partner who had been assigned to her by the Mirage Kingdom government would be arriving in Pueltown soon. Maren greatly looked forward to seeing her colleague again…and not just for professional reasons, either…

…

Meanwhile, on a beach somewhere in Sinnorre…

"There," Wabbaku said as he stepped back, wiping sweat from his brow. "It's done. It took several days and may have significantly shortened my lifespan, but I've finished all the enchantments I need to cast for our journey to Hyperbeamoria."

"It's about time," Jessie snapped. "I don't understand what took so long. All you did was paint some graffiti on the side of the submarine and spoke to thin air for hours at a time. Couldn't you have done that more quickly?"

Wabbaku frowned at the Dustox. "Graffiti?!" He slapped a fin against the side of the large Magikarp-shaped submarine they'd spent the last few days working on. Every scale on its red form was inscribed with a rune written in glowing blue and white paint, and several very complicated-looking patterns had been carved into its fins, rudder, propeller, and even its mouth. "Miss Jessie, considering how far we're going to need to dive to reach Hyperbeamoria, all the preparations I've made are absolutely essential. These runes and the bargains I have made with the spirits of water and wind will allow our submarine to withstand the pressure at the bottom of the ocean, as well as constantly replenish our air supply to keep us from suffocating…or from the sub's interior getting too rank."

"And you did some voodoo with these Goldeen bowls so that by wearing them, we'll be able to swim around outside the sub without having to worry about the pressure or running out of air too, right?" James asked, holding up a glass bowl with several more blue and white sigils painted on the sides.

Wabbaku nodded. "Precisely."

"What's so hard about all that?" Jessie complained. "I still don't see why it took so long."

"Because I had to convince the wind and water spirits to lend us so much of their power," Wabbaku said. "And it wasn't easy, let me tell you that much."

"Why? I thought the spirits liked you," Gardenia said.

"They do," Wabbaku said. "But that doesn't mean they can just help me out for free. Magic, much like economics, is a matter of give and take…they give me a favor, I pay them back in a number of ways."

"Like what?" Gardenia asked.

"Usually, it's nothing much, because they're spirits and don't require many of the same things we mortals do," Wabbaku said. "A little of my energy now and then, some thoughts and dreams and abstract concepts, a shave or two off my lifespan…"

"A shave or two off your lifespan?!" cried the alarmed Gardenia.

"Only for the really _big_ things," Wabbaku assured her. "Which is why shamanism tends not to be as showy a field of magic as, say, witchcraft. Witches have their own self-replenishing internal sources of magical energy or can tap into leylines and the like, so don't need to bargain for power like I do…that is, unless they want to become even _more_ powerful for some reason. As a result, they can afford to cast bigger and more impressive-looking spells more often than I can. On the other hand, my spells are more in tune with nature, because they get their power _from_ nature, so have less of a chance of causing long-term environmental damage so long as I'm careful in how I use them."

"That thing you did with the fire spirits back in the Twilight's Edge cemetery looked like it caused a lot of damage," Jessie pointed out.

"Well of course it did, it's _fire._ Fire burns things. What did you expect it to do?" Wabbaku asked. Jessie sweatdropped.

"Enough of da jibber-jabber," Mickey, who was still grotesque and wearing an equally grotesque hat, snapped. "Is da sub ready or not?"

Wabbaku nodded. "Yes. We can depart for Hyperbeamoria whenever we're ready."

"Great!" Mickey cheered. "Den let's go so I can stop being an ugly pile of shit and can stop wearing dis hat!"

"I don't know…I think it's starting to look good on you," James commented.

"Chiiii," Chimecho chimed. Mickey sweatdropped.

They started loading their food and other supplies into the submarine. Before climbing inside, Wabbaku stopped Gardenia and gave her a small wristband made of beads and feathers. "Here, this is for you."

Gardenia's cheeks turned red. "Wh-what is it?"

"It's a charm that will keep you from being driven mad by the sheer ugliness of the artwork in Hyperbeamoria," Wabbaku told her.

Gardenia blinked. "Huh? I thought you said we didn't have to worry about that."

"Well…" Wabbaku glanced at the rest of the group. Jessie had gotten her wing caught in one of Mickey's many new mouths and Buzz and James were trying to pull her out of it while a desperate Mickey attempted to pry the mouth open and Jessie kept screaming that they were ripping her wings off. Chimecho hovered and watched, drool collecting in a puddle underneath him. "_They'll _be fine because they're too, well, stupid to comprehend the art, and I'm protected by the spirits, but you…in my opinion, you're the sanest one of them all, so have the most to lose."

Gardenia's blush deepened, and she quickly looked at her feet. "Y-you really think so?"

Wabbaku nodded. "You're the only person here I can tolerate being around for more than five minutes. If something were to happen to you, I would be very unhappy."

Gardenia tried very hard not to faint or squeal with joy. "Th-thanks. Th-th-that means a…a lot to me." _More than you may ever know._

They were interrupted by James and Buzz finally managing to yank Jessie out of Mickey's body, pulling too hard and losing their grip so she flew through the air at high speeds towards Wobbuffet. He reflexively used Counter to protect himself, causing the Dustox to rebound off of him and smash into the side of the submarine hard enough to leave an imprint of her face in it. "Uhhh…marry you, Mr. President? I'd be more than happy to," she said dazedly as she slid down the side of the ship.

Wabbaku sweatdropped as Buzz screamed in alarm and rushed over to Jessie. "Um…whoops. I did not mean for that to happen."

"I think he's doing it wrong," Gardenia commented as they watched Buzz attempt to perform CPR on Jessie.

"Does that even work on Bugs?" James wondered.

"I don't tink Buzz knows eider," Mickey said.

"Chiii," Chimecho chimed.

Once Jessie had recovered and thoroughly beaten up all of them, they finished loading their supplies and climbed into the submarine. Only Mickey stayed outside, so that he could use his newfound demonic strength to push the submarine off the beach and into the water. "Okay, everyone got deir seatbelts buckled?" he called out as he took up his position behind the giant Magikarp.

Inside the sub, everyone looked down at their seats. Much to their alarm, they realized they didn't _have_ any seatbelts. "I knew we were forgetting something," James said.

"Mickey, hold on a second-" Jessie started to cry.

"Right! Here we go!" Mickey declared, throwing all his weight and power against the submarine and shoving as hard as he could, sending the aquatic vessel flying down the beach, splashing into the water, and surging about a kilometer or so out to sea before it finally ran out of steam and came to a rather wet halt quite some distance from shore. Mickey blinked. "Whoa…I guess I don't know my own strength, huh?"

In the submarine, everyone moaned and picked themselves off the wildly rocking floor. James grabbed a barf bag and threw up in it. "At least we had the foresight to put _those_ in," Jessie groaned.

Wabbaku sighed and adjusted his headdress. "This is going to be a very long voyage…"

"Well, look on the bright side," Gardenia said, glancing out the window to see a Mareepish Mickey swimming towards them. "At least Mickey's getting some exercise!"

"That is a good point," James said. "It's too bad it's going to smell of wet demon for a while once he gets in here, though."

Everyone made a disgusted face. "Er, Wabbaku, I don't suppose those air refreshing spells of yours will do something about that?" Jessie asked anxiously.

Wabbaku grimaced. "I pray they do, Miss Jessie. I pray they do."

…

Meanwhile, at the Nihilator headquarters…

"Vell, now zat zat bizarre interruption vhich ve shall never mention again is over viz…" Tarantulas said.

"Big-lipped Feraligatr Moment! Big-lipped Feraligatr Moment!" Chobin v. 46.0 cheered.

"Yes, zat," Tarantulas said. "Now zat zat is over viz, I believe ve vere discussing our guest and vhy Bellum zinks ve should be killing her, ja?"

Chobin nodded. "Yes, Chobin was thinking that Gardevoir was necessary for the releasing of the Ruler of Evil and the screaming and pain and horrible destruction of all that lives and cake?"

"Cake?" said a confused Bellum.

"Yes, cake," Chobin said. "Made from chopped-up body parts. And blood icing!" He laughed insanely.

"…Right," Bellum said slowly.

"So, anyvay, ve need Gardevoir, so vhy do ve need to kill her?" Tarantulas asked.

Bellum sighed. "To revive the Ruler of Evil, we require a maiden with a soul of pure beauty who has been asleep for at least a thousand years."

"Right, vhich is Gardevoir," Tarantulas said.

"No, _was_ Gardevoir. She's a vampire now. Does that seem even remotely pure or maidenly to you?" Bellum asked.

"…Ah. Good point," Tarantulas admitted.

"Then you are saying Gardevoir is now completely useless to our cause?" Oblivion's Shadow asked.

Bellum nodded. "I'm afraid so."

"Oh vell, it's a good zing ve have a backup maiden, ozervise ve'd be _really_ screwed," Tarantulas said. Down in the gravity chamber, the apparently still-unconscious Gardevoir stiffened, but none of them noticed.

"Yeah! Hey, does this mean Chobin can rape her and rape her and rape her and have a sandwich and rape her and rape her and rape her and rape her and rape her and then take a nap?" Chobin asked.

"I would not recommend it. She's a vampire now, remember? That means she could drain you dry," Bellum said.

Chobin blinked. "Wait, you mean through-"

"Yes," Bellum said.

"But Chobin thought they could only do that with their fangs of biting and sucking!" Chobin protested in alarm.

"Not all of them," Bellum said.

"…Chobin is not sure whether to be horrified or turned on," Chobin said. Bellum stared at him in disbelieving disgust.

"Okay, so she can't be our sacrificial vessel. But vhy get rid of her? Now zat she is a vampire…ooh, zat presents so very many options for research!" Tarantulas said eagerly, practically slavering at the mouth at the prospect of experimenting on Gardevoir.

"Because vampires are _dangerous_," Bellum said.

Everyone stared at her. "If _you_ are advising caution about somezing, it must be really bad…" Tarantulas muttered in alarm.

"Bellum, what exactly is the danger of vampires?" Oblivion's Shadow asked.

Bellum sighed and turned to look through the window at Gardevoir. "Vampirism is, in essence, a disease, something you should know plenty about, Doctor. It is a bloodborne virus that was originally created by the Ruler of Evil during the Crisis Wars in an attempt to create an army of bloodthirsty immortal monsters."

"Vhat, ze demons ze Ruler had veren't enough?" Tarantulas asked.

"One can never have enough expendable fodder as foot soldiers," Bellum said. "The Ruler infected people with the virus to create the first vampires, who were loyal to it, and began infecting and turning others. Unfortunately, when those vampires traveled to other universes to infect the people there, the virus…mutated. The different environmental conditions and laws of magic and physics in those universes caused the virus to change from its original baseline into different strains, resulting in millions of different breeds of vampires that differed radically not only in appearance, but in powers and weaknesses as well, not just from universe to universe but sometimes within the same planetary ecosystem. Due to the mutations, most of the newly created vampires were no longer loyal to the Ruler of Evil, and tried to establish their own interstellar empires. Both the Guardians and the Ruler focused efforts on exterminating the vampires, sometimes by curing them--if that was possible--but mostly by killing them. While they were successful in destroying at least ninety-seven percent of the vampires, some still remained, and while their numbers never became as strong as they once were, they still remain in the Omniverse, no matter how hard the Guardians and their heroic pawns try to eradicate them for good. Vampires were thought to be extinct in our universe for thousands of years…at least, until now."

"So…you're saying ve should kill Gardevoir to prevent anozzer outbreak?" Tarantulas asked with a frown. "Zat von't vork, because clearly ze guy who did zis to her is a vampire, so even if ve kill her, he'll just change somebody else."

"And isn't it possible that we could use Gardevoir now as some sort of weapon?" Oblivion's Shadow asked.

Bellum shook her head. "I would not recommend it. Vampires are very hard to control, contain, or kill. That's something that seems to be common to most of them, no matter what breed they are. Additionally, we aren't entirely sure what powers will manifest in her, or whether they'll even be beneficial to us. One thing I can say for certain, however, is that we will be unable to turn her into a Shadow Pokemon or vampirize any of our own Shadow troops: the two dark powers would reject each other, potentially destroying whatever host body is housing them."

"Zen vhat, you recommend ve kill her razzer zan at least _testing_ her first to see vhat she might be capable of?! Vhat ve could learn from her?!" Tarantulas asked in astonishment. "But zat's so…unscientific!"

"She is a supernatural being, Doctor. Science need not apply!" Bellum said.

Tarantulas scoffed. "Bah! Science is in everyzing, even magic…and vice versa, I guess. It's just a matter of exploring until you understand how it vorks."

"And what if you are destroyed in that understanding? You do not know what power you're dealing with here! Gardevoir already had some impressive abilities due to her age and level, but now that the dark power of the vampires is hers as well…we may no longer be able to hold her captive! She may try to destroy us for all that we have done to her!"

"Zen ve'll just shine sunlight on her until she burns avay!" Tarantulas replied.

"And what if she's _immune_ to sunlight, you idiot? Vampiric strengths and weaknesses vary from breed to breed! There's no telling what will work on her!" Bellum retorted.

"Zen I'll try everyzing until I _find_ somezing zat vorks! Everyzing can be killed, you just need to find ze right mezzod!" Tarantulas said. "And if you're so insistent on killing her, shouldn't ve at least figure out vhat vorks on her first? Ozzervise how are ve supposed to destroy her if she _does_ manage to break free?"

"Because if you were the one left in charge of finding how to destroy her, you'd be spending so much time ogling her unique genetic structure and trying to figure out how to replicate her abilities you'll forget all about killing her!" Bellum said. "Or worse, you'll let Chobin play with her and possibly lose him forever! How would you like it if your beloved assistant became somebody else's Politoedy, hmm? Some breeds of vampire have _absolute control _over the people they turn…"

"Zen I'll just kill Chobin and clone him up again," Tarantulas said.

Chobin nodded. "It wouldn't be the first time."

"And what if being turned into a vampire breaks the tie binding your souls and you lose Chobin for good? What then?" Bellum pressed.

"Vell, ve von't know unless ve try, now vill ve?!" Tarantulas snapped. "Zat's vhat science is all about! Pushing ze limits of understanding past zeir breaking point!"

"That and doing horribly wonderful things to cold stinky dead things," Chobin added. "And things that aren't quite dead yet, either."

"Yes, zat too," Tarantulas said.

"You have no idea what you're doing!" Bellum said angrily.

"Of course I don't, zat's vhat experiments are for!" Tarantulas shouted back.

"Both of you, stop it! Stop the madness!" Chobin screamed abruptly. "Chobin doesn't want Mommy and Daddy to get a divorce and make his broken home even brokener!"

Everyone stared at him. "…What?" Tarantulas asked finally.

"Oh, sorry, Chobin was thinking about his favorite opera of cleansingly poisonous delicious soap on television. Mmm, soap," Chobin drooled. "What were we all being talking about again?" Everyone sweatdropped.

Oblivion's Shadow sighed. "Enough of this, both of you. Here's what we're going to do. Bellum, while I agree it may be dangerous to keep Gardevoir around in her current condition, since there's already another vampire on the loose we might as well study the one currently in our captivity to find out how to catch and eliminate the one who did this to her. Doctor Tarantulas, I am putting you in charge of the examination…" Bellum growled in frustration, Tarantulas pointed and laughed, and Chobin stood on his head. "With Bellum providing assistance and consultation on how to test and counteract any new powers that Gardevoir may manifest." Bellum smirked, Tarantulas scowled, and Chobin stood on his head.

Tarantulas sighed. "Very well, Herr Shadow, if zat is your command…" He frowned. "I'm not sure how far ve'll be able to get in our initial analysis, zhough. Chobin and I are scheduled to leave at ze end of ze veek for our research expedition to find ze 'king of ze giants' and turn it into a Shadow Pokemon!"

Chobin clapped his leaves together. "Oh boy, Chobin was almost forgetting about that awesomest trip of awesomeness! It's been ages since we had a trip of fun and laughter and slaughter and death and burning and rape and torture and ice cream sundaes!"

"Didn't you just return from the Tree of Beginning a few weeks ago?" Bellum asked.

"Like Chobin was saying, it's been ages since we had a trip of fun and laughter and slaughter and death and burning and rape and torture and ice cream sundaes!" Chobin repeated. Bellum sweatdropped…and then a slow, devious look formed on her face.

"Very well, if you are indisposed, Doctor, I suppose I can continue testing while you're gone-" the Froslass started.

"Oh no you don't!" Tarantulas interjected. "Ze last time I left a research subject viz you, you skinned him, froze him, and only let him out to horribly rape and do ozzer veird mumbo-jumbo viz him!"

"That was a long time ago," Bellum said, rolling her eyes. "Will you drop it already?"

"_It vas last monzh!_" Tarantulas shouted.

"Bellum, while I'm sure Tarantulas appreciates the offer ("No I don't!" Tarantulas shouted), Gardevoir will not be left in your custody while the Doctor is away. I shall continue testing her in my own laboratory," Oblivion's Shadow said.

Bellum and Tarantulas looked at their master in surprise, while Chobin picked his nose. Even though he didn't have one. "You're…going to test her yourself?" said Bellum.

"In your own lab? As in, ze private one absolutely nobody is allowed in, even us?" Tarantulas asked. "Vhere you do…zhings even I might hesitate to do, zhough probably just for a second or two?"

"You don't even know what those things are!" Bellum scolded.

"No, but I've got a pretty good imagination!" Tarantulas retorted.

"And you can keep imagining. After you have finished conducting your preliminary analysis, I vill continue examining her on my own," Oblivion's Shadow said. "I shall make ze results of my research known to you, Doctor, once you've returned…but not my mezzods for finding zem. And vhile I know neizer of you are especially prone to it, I vould like you to be…_careful_ viz her. After all, she's ze only specimen of her kind ve have, and zere's no telling if ve'll be able to acquire anozzer one if you break her. Zat also means I don't vant Chobin vizin twenty feet of her."

"Awwww, mon," Chobin whined in disappointment.

Tarantulas scowled. "Vell, if you insist…I don't know how much ve'll be able to learn from her if ve _hold back_, zhough…" He perked up, a thought occurring to him. "Unless we figure out how to infect ozzer test subjects to make _more_ vampires to play viz…"

"Lord Shadow, may I ask why you seem to be taking such a…personal interest in Gardevoir's wellbeing?" Bellum asked with a frown.

"No," Oblivion's Shadow said. "You may not." He turned and left the room.

Bellum and Tarantulas exchanged puzzled looks. "Zat vas veird," Tarantulas said.

"I don't think I've ever seen him act like this before…what is it about this Gardevoir that interests him so much? Aside from the vampire thing, I mean. Usually he leaves dealing with matters like this up to us, and doesn't bother asking us to show any restraint. Why the sudden change of heart?" Bellum wondered.

"Maybe he's fallen in love?" Chobin suggested.

They stared at the Sunflora. "Chobin, zat is so stupid I don't know if I should laugh at you or kill you for saying somezing so idiotic," Tarantulas said. An Ice Beam shot past him and froze Chobin solid before shattering him, killing him instantly. "Ah, I guess you did not have zat dilemma," he commented to Bellum.

"What a completely preposterous idea," Bellum scoffed. "As if the master of the Anti-Life Equation could believe in a paltry falsehood such as love!"

"Ja, definitely," Tarantulas agreed. There was a pause.

"And yet…" Bellum said.

"But still…" Tarantulas said.

They glanced through the window at Gardevoir. "She _is_ an exceptionally attractive specimen," Bellum grudgingly admitted. "In spite of her transformation. And love is not necessarily the same as lust…"

"Ja, I'm sure some vould say it makes her sexier, but…I don't know. Herr Shadow has never expressed interest in anyone like _zat_ before. I'm not sure he even _has_ sexual organs under zat cloak," Tarantulas said.

"Just like you?" Bellum jeered.

Tarantulas glared at her. "Contrary to popular belief, zose are definitely one part of me zat has not been replaced by machinery."

"Not yet, anyway," Bellum said.

Tarantlas threw up some of his legs in exasperation. "Bah! Talking to you is impossible, I can't imagine how Herr Shadow expects us to vork togezzer for any period of time…come on, let's fetch Chobin v. 47.0, on ze vay you can tell me vhat zings ve should be testing Gardevoir for and I vill come up viz vays to implement zem."

"Well, I've heard some vampires can be distracted by throwing salt or rice in their path, forcing them to stop and count all the grains before resuming pursuit," Bellum said.

Tarantulas snorted. "Vhat, seriously? Vhat are zey, OCD or somezing? Not even Chobin does zat…very often…"

They headed off to retrieve a fresh Chobin clone, leaving behind some robot spiders to monitor their latest project's status. They were unaware of the frenzied debate going on inside of Gardevoir's head as the rebel network tried to process what they had overheard.

_You're a vampire now?!_ Cried the guard.

_You're going to be experimented on by the unholy trinity of Bellum, Doctor Tarantulas, AND Oblivion's Shadow?!_ Yelled the janitor.

_They have a BACKUP maiden?! _shouted the cook.

_Oblivion's Shadow may have a crush on you? OMA, that is so kewt!_ Lovrina squealed.

There was a long silence (or the equivalent of one, since there was never real silence in the network). _…You're a very disturbed individual, Lovrina,_ Kevin the Kecleon said.

_I know, right?_ Lovrina replied cheerfully.

_You're pretty much screwed,_ the prisoner said fatalistically. _Even I'm better off than you are now: the test subject of THOSE three, doomed to be horribly tortured and experimented on and possibly molested by Chobin._

_I'm rather looking forward to it actually,_ Gardevoir confessed. _Well, other than the molestation part, anyway, but that part probably won't happen. Oblivion's Shadow said he wasn't allowed to._

There was another equivalent of a long silence. _You're what? _Another guard asked.

_By testing me, I'll learn just as well as them what new powers and abilities I've been granted by my transformation,_ Gardevoir said. _Additionally, since I can still communicate with you all no matter where I am, I'll be able to provide vital intelligence not only on the layout of Doctor Tarantulas's laboratory, but Oblivion's Shadows private quarters. With this information and whatever new things I can do, when we finally launch our coup we'll have a better chance of defeating the Nihilators._

…_You're not the least bit scared about what they're going to do to you?_ The cook asked in astonishment. _I've lost count of the number of meals I've made out of the Doctor's failed experiments._

_It'll be a break from the dull monotony of sitting in my cell all day in between Kevin coming by to tutor me,_ Gardevoir said. _I'm not entirely happy about the torture, but to be perfectly frank, given that I spent most of the last thousand years as a bodiless spirit, even less than a Ghost, being able to feel any sensation at all is still an enjoyable novelty for me, even pain._

_Ooh, kinky,_ Lovrina said.

_You're not the least bit upset that you've been turned into a vampire and probably condemned to an eternity of drinking blood and shunning the light of day, assuming you survive long enough to see daylight again? _The janitor asked.

_Having a body is also a novelty to me, so a major change in it is more of a curiosity than something to be concerned about. While I admit that I could probably angst and bemoan my fate like people in all those vampire stories do, that seems like a waste of time. I prefer to look on the bright side of things: I won't have to get worried about growing old—probably—I can stay up as late as I want, and I may have powers that I can use to get us all out of here. If _Bellum's_ scared of what I can possibly do, then I must have some real potential!_ Gardevoir said. _And as for the sunlight and blood thing, until we know my new strengths and weaknesses there's no reason to leap to conclusions as to what I can and can't do. I may need to drink blood to survive, or maybe just things that are red or other acceptable substitutes. I may burst into flames in the sunlight, or I might just…ugh…sparkle._

_Hey, I liked that series,_ Lovrina complained.

_You would,_ the prisoner said drearily.

_You certainly seem to be taking this pretty well,_ said the amazed Kevin.

_Well, I've learned to stay optimistic from my thousand years under a curse. It's either find something good about everything, no matter how small…or go insane from loneliness and despair,_ Gardevoir said bluntly, suddenly very serious and grim.

…_Oh,_ said Kevin. _Um…sorry._

_It's all right,_ Gardevoir said.

_While Gardevoir has made a number of fine points, there is one inarguable fact that we must remain concerned about,_ the Teacher spoke up.

_The other maiden…_ everyone whispered at once.

_Correct. It seems as if whomever it was that transformed Gardevoir may have done so to hinder the plans of the Nihilators…but this new information tells us that their goal to resurrect the Ruler of Evil is still progressing on schedule. We must learn the identity and location of their backup, and find some way to free her,_ the Teacher said.

_I don't understand, though…if they already had a maiden, then why did they kidnap me in the first place?_ Gardevoir wondered. _They already had the map, so if they had a spare maiden that could be used for the sacrifice or whatever, that maiden could also have translated the map and lead them to the Star Badges…_

_Yeah, that doesn't make much sense, does it?_ Lovrina realized.

_They must have had some reason, and we must endeavor to figure it out if we are to stop them,_ the Teacher said. _Perhaps you will be able to find it out for yourself once you are alone with Oblivion's Shadow?_

_I'll certainly try,_ Gardevoir promised.

_And there is one other good thing we can draw from all this…from what I can tell of your body so far, a Dark subtype was permanently added to you during your transformation. Now you no longer need to rely on Kevin's Color Change power to utilize the 'Dark telepathy' you have been working on,_ the Teacher said.

Gardevoir gasped. _That means I may finally be able to make contact with Ash and his team, so they can know where we are and what the Nihilators are planning!_

_Indeed. I wonder if perhaps the being that bit you intended this consequence as well? It seems we may have allies in strange places…_ the Teacher mused.

_Yeah, allies who infect you with freaky viruses and knock you out…_ Kevin grumbled, still carrying a grudge against that strange Clefairy. Who had she been, anyway?

_I don't suppose that being would feel like swinging by my cell? _The prisoner asked tiredly. _I'd love to drain those bastards dry the next time they came by to torture me…_

_Or me,_ Lovrina said. _I've always wanted to be a sexy creature of the night. Plus, that guy who bit Gardevoir was pretty cute!_

_You think a bizarre Espeon on two legs who can move through shadows and turn into a freaky demonic Mightyena is cute?!_ Said the astonished cook.

_Hello, have you _seen_ most of the guys here? _Lovrina pointed out. _He's a total dreamboat compared to most of my other options. _Nobody could argue with that logic.

_Should I try contacting Team Aurabolt, Teacher?_ Gardevoir asked.

_Not yet. You are still recovering from your transformation. You should save your strength…for you will need all of it to survive what lies ahead,_ the Teacher said grimly. Nobody could argue with that logic, either.

…

And that ends another chapter. Team Aurabolt and Team Rocket have both set out to sea, Team Nightshade has begun a journey of a different sort, Pokemon Square is preparing their attack against the Monkey King, and Gardevoir and friends are making their own plans. Certainly a lot of plotting and mystery going on in this story, isn't there?

The heroes won't reach Zero Isle for another few chapters, which leaves us with an opportunity to get some plot-relevant scenes out of the way: specifically, Tiny finally opening his heart, and Sasha finally coming clean about who she's working for to the rest of the team. Which would you prefer to see first, readers?


	42. Tiny's Awakening

I've tallied up your votes, and it seems like just about everyone wants to see Tiny get back to normal. Sounds good to me! I'll be happy to have yet another person to write dialogue for…won't that be wonderful…

Most of this chapter is based on the episode 'Address Unown' from the Johto saga, which is to be expected since Tiny's basically the same Larvitar from back then, except now he has Aura power. There will be some…changes, however…

You'll see what I mean when we get there. Until then, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me. Please note that the views of sexual intercourse presented in this chapter are not necessarily those of the author's. If that sort of talk offends you, you may want to skip through certain parts until you reach areas that are more comfortable and palatable to your sensibilities.

…

It was the second day of the Peeko XI's voyage to Zero Isle. So far, the trip had been rather uneventful, even dull, much as Briney had warned them, so everyone had been forced to find something to do to keep themselves occupied. Briney was holed up in the cockpit driving the boat and surreptitiously spying on everyone else, Sasha was snoozing on the deck while Ash tried to teach Tiny Aura nearby, Dawn and Pikachu were sparring on the boat's bow, and Leo and Lily were having an…uncomfortable conversation.

"And that's where babies come from," Leo concluded.

Lily stared at him in horrified fascination. "That's…that's awful! You mortals do that to yourselves? That's even more sickening than some of the things I've seen Mother do!"

Leo frowned. "Well hey, it's how you were born…er, unborn…too!"

"I can't imagine how, though…I mean I'm pretty sure I don't even have most of those organs!" Lily said.

"I think Ghosts can grow them at will, what with their bodies being made of ectoplasm shaped by thought and all that," Leo said.

"That's just as bad, because now I have this image of my mother doing that with my father somehow and…ugh!" Lily shuddered. "And now I think I understand some of the things she's said and done over the years much better."

"Like what she was doing to those guys you said she kept in her freezer?" Leo asked.

Lily gasped. "Is that what she was doing to them? Oh no!" Leo sweatdropped. "But…wait, then why hasn't she had more children?"

"It's not always done to have babies," Leo said. "Like I mentioned, the times when a female is capable of being impregnated vary due to species and time. Sasha for instance, as an Absol, is only fertile maybe once every few years, whereas our friend Dawn, as a Buneary…well, let's just say she's never incapable of laying eggs and leave it at that. It's a good thing they invented contraceptives, though, or our ninja might be a mother of several by now."

"Why?" Lily asked in confusion.

"Um…well, you know some of those 'favors' she had to do to get the information about the scroll 'How to kill an immortal?'" Leo asked.

"Yes, but what does that have to do with…" Lily paused, her eyes widening in horror as she suddenly understood. "Oh. OH! Oh no! Why would she…she did that? Why would she subject herself to something like that? Why would anyone want to do…that? It sounds so horrible, even without having to deal with some sort of parasite growing inside of you as a consequence of the act!"

Leo frowned. "Hey, it's not that bad…as long as it's consensual on both sides, that is. If it's not, it's called rape."

"But why would anyone want to do it? It sounds so disgusting and painful!" said the confused Lily.

"Well, it's part of nature. It's how we make more of ourselves. And besides, like I said, it's not that bad. It's supposed to be rather, ah, enjoyable actually…as long as it's consensual," Leo said. "Otherwise it's horrible, like what your mom did to those guys in her freezer, or what Chobin and Paul probably did to Dawn, and what those other guys probably did to Dawn, and…huh, she's probably never had it willingly, has she? I mean, yeah, to get information, sure, but that's different, that's out of convenience and necessity rather than actual choice…hmm, maybe Pikachu can do something about that."

Lily recoiled in horror, the thought of Pikachu and Dawn doing…that burned into her mind. "I hope he doesn't! Why would nature be so cruel as to force people to do something like that to reproduce? Or even as a way of having fun?"

"I dunno, it's just…the way it is," Leo said. "I mean, yeah, technically you can use cloning to make Pokemon eggs, but that's expensive and hard to do, so it's easier to have sex instead. In fact, it's easier in general to just have sex, even if you aren't planning to make babies. It's something that's sort of hardwired into us, even in Ghosts. Otherwise, you wouldn't be capable of doing it at all, would you?"

"I never want to!" Lily announced. "It sounds horrible and vile and disgusting…and I know all about horrible and vile and disgusting things, from what Mother's done to me, and I don't want anything like that to ever happen to me either!"

"…Er…your mom…she never did…that to you, did she?" Leo asked hesitantly.

Lily blinked. "What? You mean…no, of course not! Why would she? Isn't that something that only happens between unrelated people of opposite genders?"

"Well…not always," Leo said. "Ideally, yes, but there are people known as 'homosexuals' who are attracted to and have intercourse with people who are the same gender as they are. There's nothing sick or disturbing about this—again, so long as it's consensual--they're perfectly ordinary people for the most part that just like mon over womon, or vice versa. Unless they're rapists. Or child molesters."

"…Some people do that to children?" Lily asked, shocked.

"Yeah, and sometimes it's the parents who are responsible, too," Leo said.

"But…but why would they do that?" Lily asked in confusion. "They can't think they'll get a baby out of it, or…or do they find it fun?"

"…Yeah, pretty much," Leo said. "Which is why I was asking…"

"No! No no no no!" Lily denied vehemently. "Mother has done many awful things to me, but never…never that!"

Leo sighed in relief. "Thank goodness for that, then…"

"But this only reinforces my point! Parents have sex with children? Pokemon have sex with other Pokemon the same gender they are? That's horrible! It's not even done for babies any more, but just for recreation! That's sick!" Lily said.

"Hey now, that's uncalled for!" Leo said sharply. "It's not sex itself that's disgusting, it's how it's used…just like magic. I mean, it can be used for both good and evil purposes, depending on who's casting the spell, right? In your mother's hands, it's a power of great destruction. In yours, it's…well, also a power of great destruction, but you can use it to save lives, too. I think. Sex itself isn't inherently good or evil, it just is. It's who does it and why that defines whether it's good or bad or not."

"…Oh. When you put it like that…" Lily murmured.

"Generally, people who have sex with kids or force others to have it with them are twisted deep down. People who have sex consensually, regardless of gender—and so long as it's not with little kids—are…well, they're not necessarily good, they can still be twisted, but you could say they're a few degrees better than the other kind," Leo said.

"That may be the case, but…I'm still pretty certain I never want to do it," Lily said. "It sounds scary and rather painful."

"That's actually what a lot of people who've never done it before think," Leo said. "Fortunately, that's what sexual education videos and porn is for."

"Porn? What's that?" Lily asked.

"Um…videos of Pokemon having sex," Leo said.

"…People let themselves get filmed doing it? And other people watch?" Lily cried incredulously. "Even you?"

"Well…yeah," Leo said uncomfortably.

"Why?" Lily demanded, shocked.

"Er, why do people let themselves get filmed, or why do others watch it?" Leo asked.

"Both! I thought you were better than that, Leo. I didn't know you were into something like…that!" Lily said, looking hurt. She had thought Leo was nice and funny, if a little unusual. She hadn't known he was a…a _deviant_ or anything like that, not until now.

Leo winced, stung by her disapproval. "Well…look, like I said before, it's not that bad. Pokemon film themselves having sex either because they enjoy doing it and want other people to enjoy it too, or…well, because they need the money."

"So it's done simply for profit too? Ugh…and why do other Pokemon watch it? What's to watch? It all sounds rather…uncomfortable," said a puzzled Lily.

"It may sound uncomfortable, but…well, watching other Pokemon do it sort of…arouses and entertains the viewer. It may put them in the mood to have sex with someone else, or may count as an alternative to sex if they don't have anyone to do it with. It can also serve an educational purpose, basically by showing viewers things they can do to make their sexual partner feel especially…satisfied," Leo said.

"And watching this amuses and educates you?" Lily asked.

Leo nodded. "Well, yeah. I'm an adolescent Pokemon who reached sexual maturity a few years ago, but I've never done it with anyone, so needed other outlets to satisfy certain…cravings that crop up when my hormones reach certain levels. I want to wait until I find someone I really like who likes me back…and then, when we reach a comfortable stage in our relationship and are ready to take the next step, I can show her what I've learned and we can both have a great time."

"…Oh. When you describe it like that, it almost sounds sort of…romantic, rather than disgusting and voyeuristic," Lily said hesitantly.

"Yeah, though it can be that too, depending on the sort of kink that turns a person on," Leo said.

"Kinks?" Lily asked. "What are those?"

"Um…let's just say that sometimes straight-up Pokemon-on-Pokemon sex isn't enough to satisfy a person, and they need certain…modifiers to enjoy themselves," Leo said.

"I don't follow," Lily said.

"It's probably for the best that you don't," Leo confessed. "You already have a low opinion of sex as is, and I don't want to say anything else that would only validate your beliefs. Listen, I know the idea may sound scary and gross, but…you really don't want to do it, ever? Not with the mon you love? Not so you can have children of your own someday? Because if you never have sex, you're definitely never going to have kids."

Lily hesitated "The Pokemon I love? But I still don't understand what love is…every time I think I get part of it; I learn there's even more involved. Sex is apparently part of love, but can exist independently of it, so why can't love exist without sex?"

"Well, I guess it could," Leo admitted. "Though it might be a little hard to maintain without any physical action now and then. But if you never had sex, then how would you ever get children of your own? Outside of adoption or cloning, which I suppose are always viable options."

Lily froze. "Children?"

"Sure," said Leo. "Most lasting relationships lead to starting a family sooner or later. You don't want kids of your own? I'm certainly looking forward to having little Leos (or Leonas) running about to teach all my knowledge and genre-savyness to. You don't want to teach little Lilies about magic?"

"I…no," Lily said quietly. "I would be a terrible mother. Mother's model of parenting is the only one I've ever known. I can't…I could never subject any child to that…"

"Then don't," Leo said. "Just do the opposite of whatever she would do."

"But…" Lily hesitated. "I sometimes feel as if evil is ingrained into my spirit. I fear that I will one day turn into someone like my mother. I don't want to pass that evil onto another generation…both to create another monster like Mother, or for my own children to fear they will become something like her."

Leo frowned. "Huh. I see…yeah, that's a fear lots of children of evil parents have."

"It is?" Lily asked in surprise.

Leo nodded. "Definitely. But remember: genes aren't all that's involved in making a person who they are. The way they're raised has a big part in it, too. If you do your best to teach your children right from wrong like we're showing you on this adventure, and remember to always love your kids and not horribly abuse them like your mother did to you, then I think you'll be a great mom."

"You…you really think so?" asked an astonished Lily.

Leo nodded. "Sure, I think you'd make a great mother if you had the chance. You've got a lot of compassion in you, Lily. That's why I don't think you could ever really become an evil witch like your mother: because you care too much about people to go out of your way to hurt them like she does."

"But…what about those Pokemon who were trying to-" Lily started.

"It was self-defense, and they probably had it coming anyway," Leo said quickly. "Though in the future, you might want to hold back on doing things like that a little."

"I will try to," Lily said fervently. "You…really think I could be a good mother?"

"You desperately want to be good, and to feel love," Leo said. "And when you get kids of your own one day, I'm pretty sure you'll understand what love is. Though by that point you might have a husband or boyfriend, so will have figured out that aspect of love, too."

"I see…" Lily murmured, still looking doubtful.

"And hey, remember that sex and kids, while something most couples have, isn't necessarily a criteria for love. It's just expected," Leo said. "I'm sure you could stay in a relationship even without doing either of those. Though it might be kind of tricky to manage long-term without them…"

"Why?" Lily asked.

"Partly because it's expected, like I said, partly because it's something a part of you might want even if you don't realize you want it, and partly because it can keep a relationship from just staying on one level forever and stagnating and take both you and your partner to the next level of commitment," Leo said.

"…I see. I will have to think about this," Lily said.

"Hey, no rush," Leo said. "After all, you're immortal, right? After we get that curse off you and save the world, you've got all the time you'll ever need to pick someone to spend your unlife with and decide about sex and kids and stuff like that later. And remember, if you still find sex icky by that point, there's always cloning or adoption!"

"That's true," she admitted, looking slightly relieved. "But…I still do not understand how to find someone I want to spend the rest of my unlife with."

"Well, that's what you have me for," Leo said. "I'll do my best to teach you everything you need to know about love, and how to find a guy worth loving."

"Thank you, Leo," she said gratefully. "Um…by the way, you said that you intend to have sex and make eggs if you eventually find someone to love?"

"Yes," Leo said, wondering if there was more to Lily's question than was visible on the surface. "But like I said…only if she's cool with it. I may talk a lot about how Pikachu's missing out by not using Dawn the way he so easily could, but the fact of the matter is I'm not the kind of guy who takes advantage of a girl that way. It's not a very heroic thing to do." _What about what I'm doing now?_ He wondered to himself. _Am I taking advantage of Lily by being her tutor, to shape her so she can see the world the way that I do and possibly come to like me the way I think I'm starting to like her?_

_No_, Captain Briney said telepathically. _You're just doing your best to educate her and hoping she'll fall in love with you at the end of it, because you've seen that sort of thing happen in movies all the time._

_Oh, thanks_, Leo said. _…Wait, how long have you been eavesdropping on us?_

_Since the start_, Briney said. _There's not a thing that goes on in this boat that I don't know about…except for what's in Sasha and Dawn's minds. A pity I can't learn Miracle Eye._

_Oh. Um…hey, I don't suppose you could tell me how Lily feels about me, can you?_ Leo asked hopefully.

Briney laughed. _Boy, she's so confused and mixed-up about her feelings regarding everyone to even begin to know how to label what she feels for you or the others. It's up to you to help her figure that out…but if you mislead or take advantage of her, I'll make sure you regret it._

_I thought that was her father's job_, Leo said.

_Her father isn't here right now. I am_, Briney said. _And speaking of her father, you might want to consider how he would feel about you thinking about his daughter that way. From what I hear, Nuken may be an even more terrifying Pokemon than I am._

_Yipe_, Leo yelped. _I'd forgotten about the overprotective father…that's always a problem when pursuing a maiden…_

_Then you'd better try your best to convince him you're not just some lowlife after his daughter's position and privilege in the Empire,_ Briney advised him. _Otherwise, he may find some way to make you…'disappear.'_

_Eep! Thanks for the tip_, Leo said. _Um, speaking of which, any tips on how I can go about doing that?_

_You're the genre-savvy one. You figure it out,_ Briney said.

Leo sighed. _Right…thanks anyway, Captain._

_No problem. Good luck_, Briney said, receding from Leo's mind.

"Leo, why have you been staring at me blankly for the last few minutes?" asked a concerned Lily when the Squirtle blinked and focused on her again.

"Huh? Oh, I was just having a conversation with Briney," Leo said.

"Oh, all right," Lily said, understanding perfectly how you could get sidetracked talking to a person inside your head.

"So, where were we?" Leo asked.

"Now that you've explained 'sex' to me, can you tell me more about…love?" Lily asked.

Leo hesitated, remembering Briney's warning about Lily's father. "Well…"

Lily's education would sadly have to be continued some other time, as Ash abruptly interrupted the lesson with the resounding cry, "Everyone, I have wonderful news!"

Sasha started and rolled over. "Ugh. It had better be, to interrupt my nap."

"What is it, Ash?" Pikachu asked as he and Dawn joined them on the deck, Briney floating into view in the cockpit doorway.

Ash smiled and crouched to put his arm around Tiny's shoulders. "Tiny has, after long deliberation, agreed to let me give purification another try!" Tiny sucked his pacifier.

"Oh, that's wonderful!" Lily said happily.

"Yes, now he will no longer scream every time we get within a few inches of him," Sasha said in relief.

"And he can finally love me like the little brother I've always wanted!" Leo said. Everyone stared at him. "What?"

"If you knew my little brother, you might regret that statement…" Pikachu muttered.

_What caused the change in heart?_ Dawn asked.

"Well, I think it was because-" Ash started.

"Because he's been experiencing more and more emotions since he used Aura for the first time, and his insistence on being a brat who hates everyone has been worn down somewhat by constantly hearing its 'voice' telling him to open his heart and become whole. That and seeing you all risk your lives time and time again to protect him has forced him to acknowledge that you genuinely care for him, and seeing Dawn's past made him realize that he's not the only one who's suffered the loss of a parent, making him see that his current lifestyle really isn't very healthy and should probably be changed as soon as possible," Briney said. Everyone stared at him.

"…I'm not sure if I should be upset that you're reading my son's mind or disturbed that you apparently know it better than I do," Ash confessed. Tiny glared at Briney. Briney glared back. Tiny broke eye contact first.

"So, I take it you're going to use the technique that fixed up Dawn this time around?" Pikachu asked.

Ash nodded. "Aura Purge wasn't strong enough the last time. Tiny has some deep-rooted issues that need to be worked out before his heart can be completely opened, so I'm going to go inside and try to help him fix them from within."

"Can we come too?" Lily asked.

Ash frowned. "I don't know…last time was sort of an accident…"

"Yeah, but we were a big help purifying Dawn!" Leo said.

"What do you mean? All we did was see Dawn's story then get corrupted by the Anti-Life Equation. It was Ash's book that saved the day. He probably could have helped her even if we hadn't been in there," Pikachu said.

"Yeah, but I was immune to the Equation!" Leo said.

"And what did you do about it?" Pikachu asked.

Leo hesitated. "Well…I'm sure I'd have figured out how to break you out of it eventually…or looked in Ash's book…"

"Yes, but you didn't, the book cured us all by itself," Pikachu said, unaware of the furious look Tiny was giving him. "Ash didn't need us there the last time."

_Maybe so, but…I appreciate your coming anyway, Master_, Dawn said.

A flustered look flashed over Pikachu's face. Leo and Ash snickered. "That…may be the case, but I highly doubt Tiny will feel the same way," the samurai said.

"He especially won't if you keep failing to credit him for saving your hides," Briney said.

Pikachu blinked. "Huh? What do you mean?"

"It was Tiny who opened that book and found the Life Equation. It didn't happen on its own," Briney said.

"Really?" said the surprised Leo. "Huh, it must have happened when I wasn't looking. That's one deus ex machina explained away, then."

"Tiny, is that true? Are you really the one who saved us?" Ash asked Tiny. He nodded.

"Oh…thank you, Tiny!" Lily said.

"Yeah, that was a really good thing you did…and now I feel bad for failing to acknowledge your part in it. Sorry," Pikachu apologized. Tiny grunted.

"Wait, if you knew this all along, why didn't you mention it earlier?" Sasha asked.

"I didn't feel like it," Briney said. Everyone sweatdropped.

"Uh, so…anyway…Tiny, do you want any of the others to come with me, or just me?" Ash asked the Larvitar, getting back on track.

Tiny considered for a moment. Then he pointed at Dawn. _Me_? She asked in surprise.

"You remind him of himself, or rather, what he could become," Briney said. "You had a rather traumatic birth too, but rather than let it define your whole life, you've grown strong from it, as you have from your other tragedies. He wants to become like that." Tiny glared at him. "Boy, until you can say these things for yourself, somebody has to."

"I thought that was my job…" Ash complained.

_While I appreciate that, Tiny, I am not sure I can accept_, Dawn clicked. _If I were to enter your heart, I would be abandoning my duty to protect my Master._

"Uh, I'm pretty sure I'd be fine for a few minutes on my own, Dawn," Pikachu said.

_That is beside the point. Even if you were perfectly safe while I was gone, I would be failing to do my job of protecting you. It is dishonorable,_ Dawn said.

"What if Pikachu went inside Tiny with you, then?" Lily suggested. "Then you could protect him in there."

"Now wait a minute-" Pikachu started.

_But then who would guard our bodies?_ Dawn asked.

"Everyone who stays behind, I suppose," Sasha said.

Briney nodded. "Since it's unlikely he's going to want all of us crowding around and poking about inside of him." Tiny nodded in agreement.

_I suppose that is acceptable, then_, Dawn said uncertainly.

"Uh, but don't I need Tiny's permission to go inside?" Pikachu reminded everyone.

Tiny looked at Pikachu for a moment, then shrugged in resignation. "I think he's cool with it," Ash said.

"Really? I thought he hated me too," said the surprised Pikachu.

"Yes, but your saving his life a couple of times during the fight with Dawn and apologizing for not giving him credit for finding the Life Equation has made him willing to give you a chance," Briney said.

"Oh," Pikachu said. "Well…thanks, Tiny. I'll do my best to validate your trust in me." Tiny gave him a look as if to say that he had better.

"Can I come too?" Leo asked eagerly. Tiny vehemently shook his head. "What? Oh, come on! That's not fair! I've been there trying to bond with you since you first hatched! I even let you play my video games! That's gotta count for something!"

"Tiny?" Ash asked. Tiny sighed and nodded reluctantly.

"Yatta! Score!" Leo shouted.

"And, um…what about me?" Lily asked shyly. "May I come as well?"

"I don't know, it sounds like it's going to be a crowded trip as is…but ultimately, it's up to Tiny," Ash said. "Tiny, can she come or not?"

Wearily feeling like he had lost control of the situation, Tiny stared at Lily in thought for a few moments. Technically, it was her fault he was even like this in the first place. If he hadn't been forced to use Aura to break Bellum's hold over her, he wouldn't be feeling this way now and could continue happily hating everything. But now he had to deal with other emotions and strange urges telling him that he should be grateful that everyone had stuck by him for so long and that the world wasn't as really a bad a place as he felt it was. So…should he let her in out of gratitude for helping open the way, or shut her out for…well, helping open the way?

_You should let her in_, Briney said telepathically. Tiny glared at him. _Yeah, yeah, I know, invasion of privacy, and you hate that invasion more than anyone else, but I don't really care. Let her come. The poor girl will probably be heartbroken if you keep her out, and while you might be able to convince yourself you don't care, not everyone else will feel the same way._ Tiny threw up his arms in exasperation and nodded at Lily.

Lily cheered and did a loop in the air…knocking off her hat in the process. "Whoops!"

"Got it," Leo said, catching the hat before it could fall overboard. "We've said it before, but you really need to wear this more securely."

"I know, I know," Lily said, taking it back from him.

"Good show, Tiny," Ash said, pleased. While Tiny was somewhat gratified he had made his caretaker happy, he was still angry that Briney had pushed him into doing it. He glared at the Metang, who just smirked.

_That's another point for old meddling Briney_, the Captain thought smugly to himself. _Now I just need to keep Ash from becoming overwrought with angst, push at Leo until he and Lily hook up, find some way to make Pikachu realize he's attracted to that Buneary of his, and figure out what the heck that Absol's keeping from the rest of us. Who knew having friends around could be so entertaining? I haven't had this much fun in years!_

"Do you want to come too, Sasha?" Pikachu asked.

Sasha glanced at Tiny, who urgently shook his head. "I don't think he wants me," the Absol said, not looking very upset about his refusal. "Perhaps next time."

"I'll stay behind too," Briney said. "I poke around in the kid's head enough as it is, I doubt he'll be happy about me going into his heart, too." Tiny gave him a look of mingled annoyance and relief. The Metang winked at him.

"I guess that's everyone, then," Ash said. "Since Tiny doesn't like other people touching him, you'll have to make contact with me so we all get pulled inside together. Everyone who's coming, form up behind me." Pikachu, Dawn, Leo and Lily got behind him and touched his back and legs. Tiny faced them, sucking his pacifier. "Okay…" Ash closed his eyes, clasped his paws together, and concentrated, the organs on the back of his head lifting and Aura building up around him. The others reflexively flinched as the blue flames rolled up their limbs too, but relaxed when the fire caused no damage, just created a rather pleasant warm tingling sensation. Ash focused on Tiny's Aura. Rather than a torrent of black flames like Dawn's had been when she had been a Shadow Pokemon, Tiny's was a rather irregular and painful-looking mass of jagged spikes in bright and violent clashing colors. However, the spikes looked softer than they had used to, and here and there were spots of normal-looking Aura, showing how Tiny had subtly been changing ever since he had started tapping into the power of Aura.

He would change a lot more by the time Ash was done. Locking onto one of the smoother spots in Tiny's discordant Aura, Ash's eyes shot open. "Transcend," he breathed. "The confines of time and-"

"Wait, wasn't it 'transcend the _boundaries_ of time and space' last time?" Leo interrupted.

Dawn nodded. _Yes, that's what I remember, too._

Ash nearly facefaulted. "Either one works!" he snapped.

"Oh, okay," Leo said. Tiny shook his head in frustration. Why had he agreed to let the Squirtle get involved again?

Ash cleared his throat and tried again. "Transcend…the confines of time and space!" His Aura flared, sending out a gust of wind as glowing blue images of himself and everyone touching him were projected from their bodies and shot into Tiny's, causing the Larvitar to stiffen and freeze in place as Aura surged around him as well.

Sasha and Briney waited for a moment, but nothing else happened. "Was that what it was like the last time, too?" the Absol asked.

"Pretty much, yes," Briney said. "They shouldn't be gone long. It only took a few minutes when they cured Dawn."

"All right," said Sasha. "I suppose I will resume my nap until then."

"Actually," Briney said. "There was something I was hoping to talk to you about-" He was interrupted when suddenly Sasha stiffened, her fur standing up, and an alarm started blaring in the _Peeko XI's_ cockpit. "What in the-"

"Something's coming," Sasha hissed. "Something big."

Briney shot into the cockpit and checked the sonar. Sure enough, an enormous form was surging towards them. He spread out his Psychic senses to their limit, and flinched when he made contact with the mind behind the immense shape. "Wonderful…" he grunted as the ocean's surface several dozen meters away swelled and broke as a Tentacruel the size of a skyscraper emerged from the depths, tentacles flailing and red orbs flashing ominously. "And I just finished cleaning up the mess from the last sea monster, too…"

The Tentacruel lifted one of its beaks and roared, water around it churning into foam as it swam towards them, its lenthy tentacles reaching out to ensnare its prey. "Sasha, prepare for battle!" Briney roared as he started flipping switches and pressing buttons, powering up the _Peeko's_ weapons systems. "Giant Tentacruel off the port side!"

…

Meanwhile, inside of Tiny…

Ash frowned as he looked around the yellow-green void he was floating around in, perched atop a piece of broken eggshell. "Why do I get the strangest feeling I've been here before?" There were some screams from behind him. He whirled around. "What? What is-" He gasped in horror when he saw what was sitting on some of the other bits of eggshell nearby. "Holy crap, what happened to you guys?"

"I was hoping you could tell us," said Leo, who was now an immense bloated turtle, fat sagging off his limbs and pressing so hard against his shell it looked like it would break at any moment. The shell was covered in slime, with spikes and abnormal growths sprouting from it all over the place, the plates and scales making it up fitted together like a jagged, uneven jigsaw puzzle. His head was covered in boils and pimples, and his mouth was so big that his head unfolded backwards every time he opened it. His sunglasses were still the same, though.

"I'm a monster!" wailed the horrified Lily, who had been reduced to a rather terrifying wraith, a mass of living shadow with tendrils of smoky darkness rising off her form and very long hair that writhed all around her like Evan when he had had too much sugar, burning chains wrapped all around her form with eyes and a mouth that were little more than holes and a slit through which a terrible fire could just barely be seen raging inside of her. Also, her pearl necklace had been replaced with one made of eyeballs.

"Actually, I think you look kind of cool," Leo commented. He frowned and looked down at his corpulent form. "The same could not be said of myself."

"Uh, wow," said an amazed Ash. He looked down at himself and was relieved to find that he looked the way he usually did…except he almost seemed to be radiating light. "Do I look any different to you guys?"

"You seem a bit…um…what's the term? 'Handsomer?'" Lily said. Leo frowned.

"We're projections inside Tiny's heart, so…the way we appear must be how we look to him," Ash realized. "Which is why I look mostly normal, but you guys…"

"Look like horrible monsters because that's how he views us?" Lily asked in alarm. "That's terrible…is that truly how the world looks to him?"

"Apparently. And to think I wasted so much time trying to bond with him and let him play on my computer…and this is how he sees me? Ungrateful little brat…" Leo growled angrily, his multiple chins waggling.

"I wonder if Dawn and Pikachu look like monsters, too?" Lily wondered.

"That's a good question. Where are they, anyway?" Ash asked, glancing around. Their other two friends were nowhere in sight. The other floating eggshells were empty. The void trembled, and their eggshells shook. "Whoa! What's that?"

"Hey look, over there!" Lily said, pointing with a wriggling tendril at a huge shadow off in the distance, stomping towards them…despite there being no visible ground in sight.

"Oh no! It can't be!" Leo cried.

"No way…" Ash said in denial.

"It is!" Lily exclaimed.

The giant form, which was in fact Pikachu grown to the size of a five-story building, came to a stop before their eggshells. He blinked. "Okay, this is really weird…"

"Pikachu!" Ash cried in relief.

"You're…humongous!" said the amazed Lily.

"How did you guys get so small?" Pikachu asked, looking down at them in surprise.

"How did you get so big?" Leo retorted.

"How do you know I'm not my normal size and you didn't shrink?" Pikachu asked.

"Good point…" Leo admitted.

"What's happened to you guys? Why do you look like that?" Pikachu asked.

"Ash believes we appear to be monsters because that's the way Tiny views us," Lily said.

"Oh, so Ash looks normal…if not a little better than usual…because Tiny loves him, but hates everyone else," Pikachu realized. He frowned and looked down at himself. His eyes were red, his fur had turned into black scales, long sharp claws grew from his paws, the kanji on his cheek sacs had been replaced by skulls and crossbones, his ears stuck out forward and curved upward, his sword no longer crackled with holy lightning but burned with a sick evil flame, his bone structure and muscles looked…_off_ somehow, and there was what looked like a mouth on the end of his thunderbolt-shaped tail. "I guess that explains why I look like this, too…"

"Where's Dawn?" Lily asked.

"Right here, my lady," Dawn said as she stomped over to them. She had also been turned into a giant, but resembled the form she had possessed inside of her heart instead of looking normal like Pikachu and Ash or monstrous like Leo and Lily. "Are you all right, Master?" she asked Pikachu.

"Other than being bigger and uglier than everyone except you, I think so," Pikachu said.

"Hey, you can talk again!" Leo observed.

"And aren't a horrible monster…" said a confused Lily. "Why is that?"

"Well, Briney said Tiny respected Dawn because of the similarities between them…so, maybe he doesn't view her as a monster?" Ash guessed.

"Which means he must really hate us…oh, I shouldn't have come," Lily said miserably.

"That dick! I am so giving him a talking-to when we find him!" Leo said angrily. "After everything we've done for him, this is what he really thinks of us?"

"Okay, so…I think I understand why we look certain ways because of how Tiny views us, but then why are Dawn and I normal-sized while you guys are so small?" Pikachu asked. "Or vice-versa," he added quickly when he saw Leo open his mouth.

"…I really don't know," Ash admitted. "Maybe I should check my book…" He cracked it open and started flipping through the pages.

"Well…Tiny respects Dawn, so maybe that's why she's a giant in his eyes," Leo suggested. "And Pikachu, on the other hand, is huge because he sees him as a big threat to his relationship with Ash, since Ash spends at least as much time—if not more—with Pikachu than with him."

"…Well great, that makes me feel better about myself," Pikachu said sarcastically.

"And he sees Lily as a wraith because…I dunno, he blames her for the feelings of emotions that she's caused him to start feeling?" Leo continued. "Or because she can set him on fire with her mind."

"Oh…is that really all I am to him?" Lily asked, looking depressed.

"So why aren't I a giant?" Ash wondered.

"Because he sees you as someone who's comforting but not imposing?" Leo said. "Or…something. I dunno, to be honest I'm making most of this up as I go along."

"Well, it makes as much sense as anything else…" Pikachu said.

"And I'm a fat slob with a big mouth because…that's all he sees me as," Leo said unhappily. "Jeez, did all my attempts to bond with him mean _nothing?_ Is this really my only major defining quality to him? Arceus, that's lame…"

"There is no time for further conjecture now. If Tiny's heart is anything like mine was, we must move quickly to find the door to his heart and fully open it," Dawn said.

"Right, so…where do we start? Do we need to look for a 'light in the darkness' again?" Pikachu asked.

Ash shook his head. "Not exactly. Since Tiny's not a Shadow Pokemon, the door to his heart is open…just not entirely. As a result, there's not much 'darkness' to be 'lit,' unless you count his emotional trauma and psychological scars. That means there's no mini-Tiny who can guide us. We'll have to just look around until we find the door ourselves, so that we can help Tiny open it fully and end his suffering."

"That sounds difficult…" Lily commented.

"Not really, we just need to stay on track and look for the right memories…and if he starts resisting us, we'll know we're close to the door," Ash said.

"Why would we experience resistance? I thought Tiny wanted to be saved," Dawn said.

"So did you, but that didn't mean your heart didn't put up a bit of a fight to stop us," Leo pointed out.

Ash nodded. "That's right. While part of Tiny wants to be purified, another part doesn't. It wants to remain isolated and alone, mired in its own pain and sorrow so it doesn't have to deal with the big scary world. It may try to hinder our progress."

"If it does, we'll just fight back," Pikachu said. "Nothing here can hurt us if we let it."

"Then let's get going!" Leo said. "Uh, but I don't suppose you guys could give us a lift, could you? We could probably cover a lot more ground riding on you."

"Well, I suppose we have little choice, given the circumstances," Pikachu said reluctantly, carefully picking Ash and Leo off their eggshells and putting them on his head. "Just don't do anything weird while you're up there, all right?"

"I make no promises," Leo said.

"Would you like to ride with me, my lady?" Dawn offered.

"Um…okay," Lily said, floating onto Dawn's head. "Er, Dawn, do I look ugly to you?"

"No, my lady," Dawn said dutifully.

"Oh. Thanks…" Lily said, feeling a little better.

They set off. At some point the void gained a floor with strange trees growing from it that had eggshell fragments sprouting from the branches and roots instead of leaves. "This certainly is much stranger than Dawn's heart was," Pikachu commented.

"Tiny is not as disciplined as I am. He is also still young. It does not surprise me that there is so much chaos and…absurdity," Dawn commented, brushing a piece of floating eggshell out of her face.

"Leo, does any of the stuff here tell you anything about what's wrong with Tiny?" Lily asked. "You said you had an education in…some sort of science about minds?"

Leo nodded. "Yeah, psychology."

"I thought it was psychiatry," Ash said.

"I have one of those too," Leo said. Ash sweatdropped. "Hmm…from the symbolism of the floating eggshells, eggshells growing from trees, the color of the environment around us, and our current appearances, I can safely say…"

"Yes?" Ash asked.

"That Tiny is completely nuts," Leo concluded. It took Pikachu and Dawn considerable effort not to facefault, because that would knock off their passengers. They got knocked off-balance anyway when the ground beneath their feet suddenly burst open and a pair of giant robot hands lifted them into the air.

"H-hey, what's going on?" Ash cried in alarm as the arms rose higher and higher, carrying them with it.

"Pikachu, don't zap it!" Leo cried in alarm when he saw static crackle around them. "At our current size, you could kill…er, trick us into thinking we were electrocuted!"

"Oh, sorry," Pikachu said, dispersing his charge.

"What magic is this?" wondered an astounded Dawn as the eggshells vanished and the void suddenly became more colorful and prismatic…and 'Ice, Ice, Baby' started playing.

"Hey wait, that song…" Ash said, realizing the song sounded familiar.

"I know this song!" Leo cried in delight as floating heads encased in colorful helmets appeared around them. "It's the number the Pokerockers—or rather, the Musirangers—used to keep Giant Volcano from erupting!"

Pikachu groaned. "Oh great…I'd hoped never to have to see those guys again."

"Why? I thought they were your favorite band," Ash asked.

"That was before I found out that they were moonlighting as spandex-clad superheroes…which Leo happened to be a fan of," Pikachu grumbled.

"This keeps getting odder and odder," said a disturbed Dawn as the heads of Heavy G, J-Pop, and Hombre floated past.

"I haven't been part of this team for much longer than you have, but that's something they made clear to me right from the start," Lily commented.

Suddenly, the void turned into an inferno and a spiraling tongue of flame wrapped around them. They almost panicked, but quickly reminded themselves that the fire wasn't hot and wouldn't hurt them if they didn't believe it could. That didn't stop Leo from dousing everyone with water before he remembered that, though. The flames receded and formed a burning circle in the air, through which the face of a familiar sunglasses-wearing Blaziken could be seen. "So that's how it's gonna be, huh? Fine! You can have your precious match! But know this…you've made a very dangerous enemy this day, Fighting Four!" Ford snarled, flames simmering around his body.

"Hey, it's Ford!" Ash cried.

"That's another face I hoped I'd never see again…" Pikachu grumbled.

"Don't worry, I think this is just a memory of him, from our last day in Mt. Battle. The real Ford's still in trophy form in my shell back in the real world," Leo said.

"What do you intend to do with him? Will you really keep him like that forever?" Dawn asked, recalling how they had defeated the Blaziken while she was chasing after Paul.

"Well, I haven't thought of anything else to do with him for the time being," Leo said. "So until then, I'm just going to treat him like any other collectable action figure."

"That seems rather cruel," Lily commented.

"He'd been doing it to countless other fighters for years. Serves him right!" Leo said.

"Considering he was going to do it to me too, I can't really argue with that," Ash said.

Ford exhaled another Fire Spin at them. The flames washed over the group…

And when they vanished, the void had changed yet again, and they were now floating in a black space surrounded by…cards? "Oh no, not more of these!" Pikachu groaned when he recognized the images on the cards.

"Hey, it's my Lu-Gi-Oh deck!" Leo said excitedly. "There's my Supermon, and my Gligarman, and Ace the Gligarhoundour, and Spidermon…"

"What are all these cards?" asked the confused Dawn.

"These are cards from Lu-Gi-Oh, another game Leo is fond of," Dawn explained.

"He certainly seems to like a lot of them…" Dawn muttered.

"Tell me about it," Pikachu griped.

Ash frowned. "Wait, if my guess is right and we're going in reverse order through some of Tiny's memories of our adventure at Mt. Battle, then that must mean we're about to have a run-in with…"

"Hey there, boys and girls and Pokemon of all ages! It's time for some fun and **games! **Gahahahahahaha!" a familiar and unwelcome high-pitched voice cackled.

Ash, Pikachu, and Leo gasped as a gargantuan white figure that looked like a mutated Meowth with purple wings, an antenna stalk, white eyes and a big red clown nose appeared before them. "MEWGLE!"

"Who?" Dawn asked.

"He's a demon Leo managed to defeat in a 'role-playing game,' a duel involving the cards around us, and with magical dice that used to be owned by a saint!" Lily explained.

"…Oh," said Dawn, clearly still very confused.

"He's coming right for us!" Leo yelled as Mewgle floated towards them, growing larger by the second until he dwarfed even the gigantic Pikachu and Dawn.

"He's going to EAT us!" Ash shouted as Mewgle opened his mouth, gaping bigger and bigger until it engulfed them completely, the jaws slamming shut behind them and enveloping them in darkness…

And then they were right back where they had started, in the land of eggshells. Everyone stared blankly at nothing for a long, long while. Finally, Leo shouted, "What the fuck?"

"We're right back where we started," said the confused Lily.

"It sure looks that way," Ash said.

"This is even more perplexing than the labyrinth from my final exam back in training," said the dumbfounded Dawn.

"Are we going in circles or something?" Pikachu complained.

"Actually, I'd say we're on the right track," Ash said.

"How do you figure?" Leo asked.

"Well, remember how we were able to get to Dawn's heart by following the trail of her memories? We can do the same thing here," Ash said. "But while the pain that caused Dawn to become a Shadow was in the recent past, the trauma that made Tiny the way he is now happened much further back in his lifespan…all the way at the beginning! And since the memories we just experienced were from shortly after he hatched…"

"I get it," Lily realized. "That means we must be close to the source of his pain, and therefore the door to his heart, right?"

Ash nodded. "Precisely."

"But if we're close, that means we may run into trouble shortly," Dawn warned them. "Remember what guarded my heart?"

"We don't have to worry about the Anti-Life Equation, though," Leo said. "…Right?"

"No, but we should be prepared for anything," Pikachu said, drawing his sword. "Come on. If you're right about the memories, then it can't be much farther now. I'm not sure how long Tiny was in an egg before we found him, but it can't have been more than a week or two at most. It has to be somewhere nearby."

Dawn nodded. "Then let us proceed."

They continued on their way, keeping an eye open for any dangers…or worse, more freaky memories. Thankfully, neither crossed their path, and eventually they found something new: a whole egg, with shafts of light emanating from holes in its shell and a shard of some jagged black substance driven into one side. "That looks just like the egg Tiny came from," Ash realized.

"Except the egg Tiny hatched from didn't have a big spike in its side," Pikachu said.

"I should hope not, that looks rather painful!" Lily said.

"If everything I've ever learned about symbolism inside a mindscape is accurate—and I'm pretty sure it is—then that's gotta be what we're looking for!" Leo announced.

"Let's have a closer look. Pikachu, let us off," Ash said. Pikachu obligingly bent over, allowing Ash and Leo to jump off. Lily floated down from Dawn's head to join them. Together, they peered into the glowing holes in the side of the egg.

"What do you see?" Dawn asked, crouching down next to Pikachu.

"It's me!" Ash said, seeing a full-color vision of himself carrying Tiny's egg (from the egg's perspective) towards the hotel they had stayed at in Battlus. "I can see myself!"

"Hey look guys, I'm in there too!" Leo said, gleefully looking at a vision of himself, which was oddly in monochrome. "Mon, did I really look that weird in that costume?"

"And there's Pikachu and Sasha," Lily said, seeing a similar black-and-white vision. "But why is Ash in color while everything else isn't?"

"For the same reason Ash and Dawn still look fairly good, while the rest of us don't," Leo hypothesized. "It's how Tiny sees the world or views other people."

"What do we do now?" Lily asked. "Smash the egg?"

"I don't think that would be a good idea," Ash said. He looked at the egg for a long moment. "I think our next step is to touch that thing," he said, pointing at the shard.

The others looked at it dubiously. "I dunno…that thing looks kind of sketchy," Leo said.

"It doesn't look anything like Tracey to me," said the puzzled Lily. Leo sweatdropped.

"He means it looks suspicious," Pikachu explained. "And I can't help agreeing with him. Ash, are you sure we should touch it?"

"It's representative of the psychological trauma keeping Tiny from developing properly. We need to alleviate that trauma, so…" Ash touched the shard. He was not surprised when his hand sank right into it, and he was yanked off his feet and sucked into the black thorn. He felt like he'd done this before somehow.

"Ash!" Pikachu cried in alarm.

Leo sighed. "Totally saw that coming…oh well, might as well get this over with." He touched the shard as well, and yelped as he got sucked inside.

"This really seems like a bad idea…" Lily muttered, but she promptly followed Leo.

Dawn glanced at Pikachu. "Master?"

Pikachu sighed. "I guess we have no choice. Come on." They touched the shard at the same time and were sucked inside, transported from the plain of eggshells to yet another featureless void. They cried in alarm as they tumbled through the air before hitting the ground with what might have been a painful impact had they not reminded themselves it couldn't hurt them. "Ugh…why can't this place be as straightforward as your heart, Dawn? At least that place made some kind of sense half the time."

"Tiny is a child," Dawn pointed out as she helped Pikachu up. "You cannot expect him to follow the same sort of reasoning that you and I do."

"That's true," Pikachu admitted.

"Hey, you guys are back to regular size!" Leo observed as he, Ash, and Lily came over.

"Or we became the same size they did," Ash suggested.

"Or maybe we both changed size to meet some middle ground?" Lily offered.

"Or maybe we shouldn't bother thinking about it and keep going," Pikachu said. He glanced around. "Seems empty …I wonder what memory we're going to run into next."

He got his answer when a dark shadow fell over them. They glanced up in horror as a gargantuan pitch-black airship floated down from the sky, fire and smoke trailing from its form. "It's Hunter J's ship!" Ash cried in recognition.

"If we're seeing that, then that must mean the memory we've reached is-" Lily realized.

"The one we're looking for! We're almost there!" Leo cried.

Two of the cannons on the bottom of the ship pointed at them and fired, launching nets. As they braced themselves, the nets suddenly expanded and transformed into a lattice of black crystalline vines that wrapped around them, trapping them in an upturned basket of dark growth similar to the shard they had found in the big egg. "Hey, what gives?" Leo complained. "Jeez, even as a memory that bitch is still causing problems!"

"Dawn, let's cut our way out of here!" Pikachu said, raising his sword.

She nodded, brandishing her claws. "Right!"

"_Scared…so scared…"_ a strange voice whispered.

They paused. "You hear that voice?" Ash asked.

Leo nodded. "Yeah…and it sounds familiar for some reason…"

Pikachu frowned. "Yeah…"

"_So scared…so scared…"_

"But who is it?" Lily asked, glancing around. "That voice sounds so afraid…"

"I think it has good reason to be," Dawn said, pointing outside of their cage. "Look!"

They watched as an enormous pincer claw reached down and picked an egg-shaped shadow at least as big as they were off the ground. The claw raised it up to the eyes and scanner of the nefarious—and super-sized--Hunter J, who smiled cruelly. "Ah, it's in perfect health…we should make a fine profit from this one, boys!" The shadowy figures of her henchmon looming behind her snickered sinisterly.

"_MOMMY! HEEEEEELLLP!"_ the voice screamed. They jumped in surprise.

"Was that…Tiny?" Lily wondered.

"Hey yeah, it did sort of sound like him…what with the high-pitched screaming and all," Leo said. "Though usually he doesn't use words, just wails at the top of his lungs."

"Tiny…" Ash hissed, clenching his fists angrily as he saw J gloating over the egg.

"GET AWAY FROM MY CHILD!" someone bellowed. The heroes started and turned to see a Tyranitar the size of a skyscraper stampeding towards J and her crew.

"_Mommy…Mommy_!" the same voice from before cried in relief.

"Yeah, that's definitely Tiny," Leo said.

"Then that must be his mother…she looks very powerful, though I'm sure her size is exaggerated due to this being a child's memory," Dawn commented.

"She's risking her life to save her offspring…is that what a true mother does?" Lily murmured to herself.

J scoffed and gestured dismissively at the charging Tyranitar. The cannons of the airship overhead swiveled and fired, engulfing the Armor Pokemon in a tremendous explosion. She screamed in agony and fell over, the guns roaring like thunder as they fired salvo after salvo of beams and energy pellets into her body, tearing open large gashes and scars in her thick hide. They gasped. "_MOMMY! NOOOOOOOOOO!"_ Tiny's voice screamed.

"Oh no!" Lily cried.

"This is awful…" Dawn said.

"No! That bitch!" Pikachu snarled. "How could she?"

"Damn, no wonder Tiny was so eager to beat the hell out of her…" Leo said.

"Dammit…" Ash growled, grinding his teeth and generating angry flames of Aura. "I should have been there when she attacked…then I would have made her pay for this!"

J raised a claw to cut off the cannon fire. Smoke trailing from her form and blood dripping from her wounds, the Tyranitar struggled to get back up…only to collapse to the ground again. Tiny screamed again. J gestured, and her minions leapt forward, quickly wrapping heavy-duty chains and fetters around the weakened Tyranitar. J smirked and turned away, examining the egg in her claw with fascination. "NO! Leave my child alone!" the Tyranitar roared as she regained some of her strength, struggling against the chains and ropes and the strength of J's minions. "You can take me, but leave him be!"

"_Mommy! MOMMY!"_ Tiny wailed desperately.

"Sorry, but my client requested an adult and an infant," J said, clutching Tiny's egg tightly as she looked at it through her scanner. "Hmm, looks like this thing's not ready to hatch yet…oh well, I'm sure my client won't mind holding onto it until it's ready. And then he'll have the perfect specimens…and I'll get paid, so everyone gets their happy ending. Well, except you and the kid, but that can't be helped." She turned and placed the egg on a small metal pad of some sort that her Salamence, Mander, brought over and bent down to touch the controls on a panel on the side of the pad, causing glass to rise up and form a dome over the egg, sealing it in.

"Jeez, she's cold…" Leo whispered.

"Like Mother…" Lily agreed.

"_Mommy! No! Help me!" _Tiny wailed.

"She can't…" Ash whispered. "She tries, but…"

"Ash, is this what you saw when we first got Tiny?" Pikachu asked.

Ash nodded. "Pretty much…and I'm betting this ends the same way, too!"

The Tyranitar, with a scream of fury, managed to break free from her bonds, sending the henchmon that had been restraining her flying as she charged at J, shouting "DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH MY BABY!" Startled, the Drapion whirled around just in time to get tackled by the enraged mother.

"She is a true warrior…much like my own mother," Dawn said approvingly.

"Your ninja mother, not your birth mother?" Pikachu asked for clarification. She nodded.

"Yeah! Go Mama Tyranitar!" Leo cheered.

"Except…she doesn't win for long, does she?" Lily realized.

Leo hesitated. "Oh damn, forgot about that…"

Ash snarled, knowing what was going to happen next. J and the Tyranitar fell to the ground, the impact knocking over the jar the egg was in and causing it to roll away, the Tyranitar too filled with bloodlust to know her baby was getting out of her reach. _"Mommy! Mommy! Help me, I'm losing you!" _Tiny screamed. But his mother did not hear him. The egg kept rolling, yet oddly enough stayed in one place right in front of the heroes, while the battling Tyranitar and J, as well as the Drapion's minions Growlithepiling the massive armored lizard to try and get her off their boss, receded into the distance. _"Mommy? Mommy! MOOOOOMMYYYYYYY!"_ The Tyranitar, now just a miniscule speck, faded away. _"No…Mommy…why…why did you leave me alone?"_

"Tiny…no…" Ash whispered. Pikachu narrowed his eyes, vowing to skewer Hunter J on his sword if he should ever run into her. (He would have meant if he ever ran into her _again_, but he hadn't met her at all, since he had been fighting Dawn while she was attacking everyone else.)

"Oh no…" Lily murmured, fiery tears streaming down her cheeks. "How terrible…"

Leo shook his head pityingly. "Well, that's one heck of a Freudian excuse for why he hates everyone and rejects most of our attempts to befriend him…if he feels, even on some subconscious level, that even his _mother_ abandoned him…"

"To do that to a child…J is truly a Pokemon who deserves to die," Dawn said coldly.

Everything started fading to black around them…until a horrifically vast and distorted Arcanine face filled the void. "Oooh, what's this I've found washed up on the beach? A Pokemon egg, perfectly preserved in a capsule? Why, it looks absolutely delicious…and just the ingredient I need to complete my brilliant new food innovation…hot Growlithes with egg! They laughed and threw things at me when I presented my idea to the fast-food industry board, but all those restaurants like Burger Kingler and McMimeld's will rue the day they spurned me once my genius snack sweeps the continent! Soon, the world's fast food industry shall be mine, mine, all _mine!_ Mwahahahahaha!"

The Arcanine kept laughing, his mouth gaping wider and wider as the egg rose into the air. _"No! Mommy, help me! HELP MEEEEEE!"_ The egg vanished into the Arcanine's mouth, and then the Arcanine vanished, and the vines disintegrated, leaving the group standing in darkness.

"…Seriously, what was wrong with that guy?" wondered a disturbed Ash.

"And who was he talking to?" asked a confused Lily.

"No wonder the poor kid's so messed up, with memories like _those_ being some of the first things he can remember…" Leo said, shaking his head sadly.

"Did you go through a stage similar to Tiny's when you first joined your clan?" Pikachu asked Dawn. "Considering you got your vocal cords cut by your father and saw him kill your mother then get killed himself, I can't imagine you had a nightmare-free childhood starting out either."

Dawn nodded. "For a while, I too had trouble getting along with others, or even trusting my new family…but with time and persistence, they were able to wear me down and allow love to enter my heart. Would you believe a younger Paul was actually crucial to my coming out of my shell?"

Pikachu's mind boggled. "I…can't really see that, sorry."

Dawn sighed. "As I have said before…the Paul you know now is not the same as the Paul I used to know." She narrowed her eyes. "Which is another reason for me to kill him."

"We've seen the memory that's the root of all of Tiny's issues…that means we can't be far from the door to his heart, right?" Leo asked, looking around. "But I don't see anything…not even my shades are picking up anything. Where do we go from here?"

Ash thought for a moment. Then he called, "Tiny? It's Ash. I'm here with Pikachu, Leo, Lily, and Dawn. We're trying to help you, but we don't know where to go from here. Can you show us the way?"

"What are you-" Pikachu asked in confusion, only to stop when a faint light appeared off in the distance. "Whoa. What did you just do?"

"We're inside of Tiny…and we know that part of Tiny wants to be saved, otherwise he wouldn't have let us in here to begin with," Ash said. "He may not have some internal manifestation of himself like Dawn did when she was a Shadow Pokemon to lead us through the maze of his heart…but he's still here all around us. So…I appealed to that part, the part that wants to change, to help us see through the tricks and illusions of the other side of him, the part that wants to stay the same. I couldn't do it earlier because we were still too far away from the door to his heart. But since we're closer now…"

"The part of him that wants us to win is strong enough to guide us to the end?" Pikachu finished. "That's pretty encouraging, actually."

"Then let's get over there and help save him from the part that wants to keep his heart all clogged up with hatred and apathy and stuff!" Leo said, pointing dramatically at the light.

They started towards it. It felt as if they were walking for an eternity, but at the same time only for a few seconds. Either way, the light soon resolved into the form of Tiny, floating curled-up in the air and glowing with the power of Aura. "It's Tiny!" Lily gasped.

"Wait, I thought you said we weren't going to find a 'light in the darkness' here, Ash," said a confused Pikachu.

"That's because it's not," Ash said.

"…It's a light in a big dark space. How is it not a light in the darkness?" Leo asked.

Ash sighed. "I mean it's not a representation of Tiny's true self here to guide us—well, okay it is, but it's not _just_ that—it's what we've been looking for: the door to his heart!"

"But…that's Tiny, not a door," said the confused Dawn.

Ash rolled his eyes. "It's a _metaphor_. The door to someone's heart doesn't always have to look like an actual door."

"Ohhhh," everyone said.

"Well, it looks okay to me," Pikachu said. "I thought we were supposed to have some problem opening it, but everything seems-" Abruptly, black crystal vines similar to the ones they had been trapped in before burst out of the ground and wrapped around Tiny, smothering his glow and lifting him away from them. More and more vines burst out of the ground, knocking them off their feet as they wound together to create a tremendous mountain of black spikes that towered hundreds of feet over their head, Tiny's glow no more than a distant faded gleam. Everyone glared at Pikachu. He sighed. "I should know better by now, shouldn't I?"

"You think?" Leo snarked.

"This mountain and the stuff it's made of represents Tiny's painful memories, and how he shut himself off from the rest of the world, fearing that connecting to other people would only get him hurt or worse," Ash deduced. "Considering everything that happened to him up until the point we found him, you really can't blame him."

"Except for you…because you both share the power of Aura, right?" Pikachu asked.

Ash nodded. "It made him feel we shared some kinship, so he trusted me…and _only_ me. But everything that's happened to him since he hatched has been wearing away at the walls around his heart, causing him to doubt his beliefs about the world and the people in it. But…while those doubts are enough to weaken those walls, it's not enough to break them. We have to convince him we care for him and want to help him open the door to his heart…before he chokes on his own fear and distrust and is lost to us forever!"

"So, a standard 'I know you're still in there' fight, then," Leo said.

"One that'll hopefully work better than the last one," Pikachu said, glancing at Dawn.

"Hey, it worked…kind of," Leo said.

"So what do we do? Go up there and smash through those vines?" Lily asked.

Ash nodded. "Yep!"

"I thought that you couldn't use Aura to affect or change someone's heart," Pikachu said.

"You can't," Ash said. "But we can help _Tiny_ change it, which is close enough!"

"Ah, a gray area. I love those. Let's get to it! To the top of the mountain!" Leo proclaimed, pointing once more towards the light.

They started climbing up the mountain. The thorns growing from the vines would have gored their feet had this been reality, which is why they kept reminding themselves that it wasn't, and so felt no pain as they headed towards the summit. More thorns burst from the surface of the mountain to impede their path, but they either ducked out of the way or just powered their way through using their attacks. As they progressed, Tiny's glowing form became slightly more visible…and they could see that he wasn't complacently waiting in his nest of vines, but was _fighting_, struggling and trying to break free from the prison he had crafted for himself. "Look at that…" Ash commented. "All the sadness…all the hurt…he's no longer content with it. He wants to break free!"

"And we know he can do it!" Lily said, burning vines out of their way with her flames.

"Tiny! We're gonna help you get out of there right now!" Leo shouted.

"Hold on, and keep fighting! We'll be there in a minute!" Dawn cried, darting and jumping over the vines, slashing them to pieces with her claws.

More vines erupted to block their path. Pikachu swung his sword through the air, unleashing a Vacuum-Cut blade that sliced them in half. "We're here to help you, Tiny…don't push us out! We care about you! You _know_ we do! You know…" He fired a Thunderbolt, blasting through another dozen vines. "That we won't stop until we set you free! That's what Rescue Teams do!"

"Yeah, you're one of us, mon!" Leo said, freezing some vines and smashing through them with Rapid Spin. "No mon who wears the badge gets left behind!"

Tiny's glow increased slightly, and he struggled harder against his bonds. Were their words working? Ash certainly hoped so. He cried out as he leaped through the air, soaring past several vines that erupted on either side of him, only for an immense one to appear right in front of him. He smashed into it, wincing as he was flung back. Pikachu leaped over him and cleaved the vine in two, clearing the way for Ash as he landed on his forepaws, flipped back onto his feet, and kept on going, the others fast on his heels…

Until more vines erupted from beneath their heels, nearly knocking them over (not nearly in Leo's case). They only served as minor distraction, however, and got back on their feet in seconds and kept on going, blasting and smashing and cutting through every obstacle that rose in their way. "TINY!" Ash yelled as they approached the summit, heart leaping with joy as he saw that the wriggling Larvitar had almost made it out of his cage…

Only for several dozen more vines to appear and wrap around the Larvitar, completely engulfing him in a cocoon of black crystal. "NO!" Ash cried in alarm, skidding to a stop as he reached the strengthened cage and nearly fell over.

"Jeez, for a Pokemon who wants to be purified, he's sure doing his darndest to stay stuck the way he is," Leo complained, panting as he and the others caught up with Ash.

"Sadness can have a life of its own sometimes…it's often easier to stay depressed and miserable rather than give hope another chance, for fear of being disappointed yet again," Lily said sadly, knowing from experience.

"Maybe, but nothing in life worth doing is easy, and Tiny knows that by now, too! We just need to help him make that last step!" Pikachu said. "Come on, let's crack this thing open!" He started slashing at the cocoon with his sword and smacking it with his Iron Tail. The others quickly joined in, launching Rapid Spins, throwing Shadow Balls, lashing out with claws and ice daggers, and bombarding the shell with Aura-powered punches and kicks. The vines weakened under their assault…

And then spikes erupted from the sides, knocking them back. As they grunted and picked themselves back up, the vines loosened and retracted, revealing Tiny…trapped inside a crystal prism, looking as if he were deep in sleep…if not dead. "Tiny!" Ash yelled, rushing over to the prism. He touched it, then flinched and drew back his paws. "It's so cold…" He narrowed his eyes. "But that's not going to stop me!" He powered up his Aura and started beating his fists against the prism. "Tiny! TINY!"

Pikachu fired Thunderbolt after Thunderbolt at the prism. "Tiny! You have to think about all the good times we've had together, all the happy times, and all the fun…when we weren't fighting for our lives, that is!"

Lily nodded, hurling dozens of fireballs at the prism. "And there will be more fun times to come! And fighting for our lives, of course, but that's a given."

Dawn lashed out with powerful kicks and claw thrusts. "Not all Pokemon are like J and the Nihilators!"

"Yeah, give us a chance!" Leo cried, pelting the cage with Bubbles and Ice Beams.

Ash paused to catch his breath. He hadn't made a dent in the prism's surface. He gritted his teeth, Aura flaring up around him. "Come on!" He started punching harder and harder, as the others continued their assault. And inside the cage…

Tiny stirred. His eyes twitched, and opened the slightest fraction. And as they did, hairline fractures started forming in the prism. "It's working! We're getting through to him!" Pikachu said.

"Just a bit more…come on, guys!" Ash said. They kept pounding away on the cage. "Tiny, I know the world can be a scary place, and there are lots of nasty Pokemon out there…but there's lots of good ones, too! You trusted me the first time we met even though you had no reason too…you know that you can have friendships with other people without getting hurt! All of us out here are trying our best to help you!"

"Because we want to be your friend," Pikachu said, firing a Thunderbolt. "Because we care about you." He fired another Thunderbolt. "Because you're part of our team!"

"You're one of us, Tiny!" Leo yelled, spewing more Bubbles. "We're Nakama! And do you know what that means? It means that we're as close as real family! We watch out for each other and do everything we can for one another! It may sound utterly corny, but it's the power of friendship and teamwork…and it's _real!"_

Lily summoned a pair of fearsome fire wheels. "Team Aurabolt gave me a home. They showed me that there is more to the world than the evil I have known all my life. We are your home, Tiny…your family! Let us prove it to you, just as everyone else has proven it to me!" She hurled the wheels at the crystal.

"Briney said that you admired me, Tiny…because I did not allow my pain and loss to overwhelm me, I transformed it into purpose, let it give me a reason to keep on living…it is time for you to do the same thing, Tiny! It is time for you to find your purpose!" Dawn conjured an ice sword. "You were born some time ago…but you have not yet truly begun to live! Now is your chance, Tiny…tell us that you want to _live!"_ She drove the sword into one of the cracks in the side of the crystal.

The cracks started to lengthen. Inside the crystal, Tiny's eyes opened wider as the words of the Pokemon outside his cage sank in. They cared that much about him? They, whom he had shown nothing but disdain and vague disinterest towards? They, whom he had screamed at and bitten whenever they had gotten close to him? In spite of the way he had treated them…in spite of his attempts to distance himself from them…they wanted to help him? They wanted…to be his friends?

A small voice inside of him smugly said that that's what it had been trying to tell him all along. For once, Tiny did not ignore it. He closed his eyes and concentrated. Ash, sensing…something paused. "Everyone, get back!"

"Huh? Why? I think we've almost made it!" Pikachu said.

"We have…but we've done everything we needed to," Ash said, a grin coming to his face. "Now…it's _Tiny's_ turn."

A blue flame started burning around Tiny. Realizing what was about to happen, Leo yelped and pulled into his shell. "He's gonna blow!"

Everyone got back just in time as the cage shattered in a brilliant blast of blue fire, Aura surging off of Tiny's form in waves and utterly destroying his prison, turning the cold hard pieces of crystal into glittering points of light. Aura blazed down the black vines under their feet, burning them into ashes and also leaving points of light behind, as the darkness around them shimmered and lit up with all the colors of the rainbow.

Leo, Pikachu, and Lily's monstrous forms vanished, and their usual appearances took their place. "We're back to normal!" Lily exulted.

"Yatta! Then that must mean…" Leo said.

"We did it," Pikachu said, bursting into a grin as he stared in wonder at the light all around them.

"No," Dawn corrected, staring up at the azure corona surrounding Tiny. "_Tiny_ did it."

The Aura around Tiny pulsed and dissipated. The Larvitar opened his eyes and stared at Ash. The Lucario instinctively opened his arms, and Tiny fell into them, leaning against his chest (while being careful not to impale himself on Ash's chest spike) as the Lucario enveloped him in a hug. "Tiny…"

"Ash…_Daddy_…everyone…thank you," Tiny whispered, eyes glistening with joy. "Thank you…for saving me."

…

Meanwhile, back at the _Peeko XI…_

"Get the hell away from my ship, you stinking pile of jelly!" Briney roared as he punched the giant Tentacruel in the face repeatedly. The giant jellyfish screeched in pain, both from Briney's fists and from the rockets and energy blasts firing continuously from the _Peeko XI's_ cannons, and tried to knock the Metang away with Hydro Pump. Briney's eye glowed as he used his Psychic powers to divert the water to either side of him, directing it onto the ship instead, to wash away some of the blood and poison and slime that had been splattered onto the hull by the battle. "Thanks for the free wash, that'll make cleaning up after I tear you apart that much easier!" He punched the Tentacruel again.

A half dozen or so tentacles shot out from the black mass of the Tentacruel's lower body and reached towards Briney, only to be severed by Psycho Cuts and Razor Wind blades hurled from Sasha on the deck. She threw more energy blades to slice the tentacles into smaller pieces, so none of them were at risk of landing on and capsizing the ship. "Captain, I think that's the last of them!"

"Are you sure?" Briney asked. "These devils always have a few extras in reserve."

"Tentacruel only have eighty tentacles. Those were the seventy-third to eigthieth tentacles! I kept count," Sasha said proudly.

Briney smirked, pleased that, while Sasha was illiterate, she at least had a good grasp of numbers. "Then if there's no more risk of it dragging my poor _Peeko_ underwater or intercepting our attacks, it's time to finish this thing off!" He gathered his power and telekinetically shoved the Tentacruel away from the boat, flinging it hundreds of yards away, the wake from its departure rocking the vessel and almost causing Sasha to lose her footing. As the giant jellyfish tried to regain its bearings, Briney flew into the cockpit and fired up the _Peeko's_ engines, bringing the boat around so its bow was pointing straight at the monster. He pressed a button, and the ship's front split open, revealing a large cannon with an enormous harpoon loaded in it. "Give my regards to the other monsters I've sent to Davy Jones's locker!" Briney taunted as he pushed another button, firing the cannon.

The harpoon flew through the air and drove itself into the red jewel in the center of the Tentacruel's forehead. It squeezed its eyes shut in pain and howled…

And howled no more when the explosives in the head of the harpoon went off, blowing the Tentacruel to smithereens. Slime, jelly, and bits of blue and red flesh rained from the skies as what was left of the poisonous monster sank back into the depths from whence it came. None of the detritus landed on the _Peeko_ because Briney had made sure to push the Tentacruel out of range, but there was still enough jelly and poison and pieces of broken tentacles littering the vessel's hull to make it a chore to get the ship shipshape again.

"Impressive," Sasha commented.

Briney grunted. "Yes, but now I need to get a new harpoon…and it's going to be a bitch cleaning up all this gunk it left behind!"

"I could try cleaning, but I'm not sure how much I can do by myself," Sasha said.

Briney blinked. "What? No, that's not what I…oh, never mind." He glanced at the rest of the crew, and growled. "And they're still in that trance or whatever…they missed the whole blasted thing! Lousy layabouts…if they had just _waited_ a few more minutes before getting started…"

"They couldn't have known we were about to get attacked by a sea monster," Sasha pointed out.

"I know, but still…" Briney frowned. "There was something odd about that monster…you usually don't see beasts like that in these waters. What was it doing here, and why did it attack us?"

The answers to those questions would have to wait for another time, because it was at that moment that the rest of Team Aurabolt woke up. "We did it!" Ash cheered.

"Yeah, and…" Pikachu trailed off when he saw the slime and pieces of Tentacruel covering the deck. "Uh…whoa, what happened here?"

"Oh no…we didn't miss _another_ fight, did we?" Lily moaned.

Leo snapped his fingers in frustration. "Damn, and I bet it was really cool, too!"

"That it was," Sasha said as she and Briney came over. "We sliced off and ripped out the monsters' tentacles one by one, then Briney pushed it out to sea and killed it with an exploding harpoon."

"Dude, that's awesome!" Leo gushed. "Mon, I can't believe I missed all that…"

"Did you at least succeed in purifying Tiny while you were sitting there as perfect targets for the monster to attack?" Briney asked gruffly.

_Tiny?_ Dawn clicked, looking at the Larvitar.

Something was wrong with Tiny. He was slowly turning in place, taking everything in with his eyes wide open, as if he had never seen it before. Ash frowned, feeling an unfamiliar sensation from the Larvitar. Was this…wonder? "Tiny?" he asked.

Tiny took out his pacifier. He stared at it for a moment, and then dropped it on the deck. "The world," he rasped, his voice a bit gravelly and rough from disuse. "It's so…beautiful…" Tears in his eyes, he turned back to the others. "I never realized, so caught up in my fear and distrust, just how…how amazing the world is. And you…all of you…" He smiled. "No matter how many times I pushed you away, or bit, or screamed, you never gave up on me. You never stopped trying to open my heart, to make me feel like I belonged, to make me see what our world is really like…and what my place in it is. For that, I thank all of you from the bottom of my heart…for never giving up, for pushing until I finally gave up and let you in. I see now what I've been missing, how I've been an ungrateful brat towards you all this time, towards you, my friends…my family."

He smiled and looked at Pikachu. "Pikachu, I'm sorry for regarding you as a threat to my relationship with Ash. I understand now that you are his brother, and have as much of a claim to his time as I do. I promise to behave better in the future…my uncle."

Pikachu smiled. "That's okay, Tiny. You're still young, and Ash is the only father figure you have. It's understandable that you might feel threatened that someone might be monopolizing the time you could spend with him…but I look forward to sharing him with you now, my nephew."

Tiny turned to Sasha. "Sasha, while you didn't have much of a paw in raising me--everyone seemed to be against that for some reason—you were always there in the background, waiting and watching. I used to fear you, to see you as a vision of death…but now I understand you were really a guardian spirit, watching over everyone…even me. We're all safer because you were there to protect us."

Sasha nodded. "That's all right. You would not be the first to think of me that way. But I am happy you feel differently now. I am glad that you feel safer because I am here."

Tiny turned to Lily. "Lily, if it weren't for you, we wouldn't be talking right now. You're the one who jumpstarted the change within me…by making me use Aura for the first time, the first crack appeared in the walls I built around myself. I resented you at first for making me feel this way, for causing me to feel these confusing emotions and impulses…but now I realize that I was only suffocating myself by raising those walls. Thanks to you, now I can breathe freely…just as I helped _you_ breathe freely by breaking your bond to Bellum. Thank you, Lily."

"I was…I was just trying to return the favor," Lily stammered, trying very hard not to cry. She failed.

"Dawn…I owe much to you as well," Tiny said to the Buneary. "What I saw inside your heart…how you also had so many sad memories, but refused to let them dominate you, like I let mine…it inspired me. It made me realize I didn't have to be the way I was. It made me start to wonder if maybe I should start listening to the impulses and urges I kept having. I decided to follow your example and let go of my pain…to become stronger, and no longer close myself off from everyone else. After all, if you were willing to let other people in…then why shouldn't I?"

Dawn bowed slightly. _I am honored that I was able to help you, little one._

Tiny turned to Leo. "Leo, more than almost anyone else, you tried to be my friend…and big brother. You talked to me, you gave me treats and let me play on your computer, and you tried your hardest to bond with me…and I repaid you with selfishness, indifference, and viewing you as a fat slob who talked too much."

"Yeah, that really hurt, mon," Leo complained.

"Well, it's not going to happen anymore," Tiny said. "I understand now what you were trying to do…and how wrong it was for me to treat you that way. From now on, I promise I'll try to live up to your expectations for a little brother…to repay the kindness you showed me, time and time again. And stop beating your high scores."

Leo smirked. "Awww, thanks. That…that really means a lot to me, mon…"

"His acting more like a brother to you or not breaking your high scores?" Pikachu asked.

Leo glared at him. "The brotherhood, duh! I can live with him breaking my scores…both because it'll challenge me to work even harder to beat _him,_ and because the fact that he can beat me at such a young age means he has the potential to be a truly epic gamer!"

Pikachu blanched. "Oh crap…just what we need, _another_ crazy gamer…"

"Don't worry, I'll have Tiny too busy training and working on Aura to play games," Ash said. Pikachu sighed in relief and Leo and Tiny both pouted.

"Wouldn't playing video games improve his reaction time?" Lily suggested.

"You only say that because Leo coached you too," Pikachu accused.

Lily flushed. "Well…maybe a little…"

"And Ash…Daddy…more than anyone else, you believed in and stood by me," Tiny said finally. "You tried to show me the right path. You tried to teach me how to behave. You tried to keep me from putting things in my mouth. You put up with all my fits, and tantrums, and drinking binges. You never gave up on me, and went above and beyond the duty of caretaker. Since my…since my mommy's gone…you're the only Pokemon I could ever think of as my parent. Thank you for having faith in me. Thank you for letting me choose to be saved, rather than simply forcing me into it. Thank you, Ash, and everyone else, for saving me."

"Oh Tiny," Ash gasped, tearing up. He hugged the Larvitar. Leo took a picture, though he had trouble seeing clearly through his own tears, but the photograph turned out pretty well in spite of it.

"What, no kind words for ol' Briney?" the Metang asked, interrupting the moment.

There was an awkward pause. "Well…no, to be honest. You terrified me as I was before, and you still kind of terrify me now," Tiny admitted. Everyone facefaulted.

Briney grunted. "Eh, I've never been very good with kids. Oh well. In any event, I'm as happy you're relatively normal now as everyone else, but that doesn't mean you can slack off now. There's work to be done!" He telekinetically summoned mops and buckets from the supply closet and dropped them at the others' feet. "As you can see, the battle with the giant Tentacruel made a serious mess of my precious _Peeko._ Somebody needs to clean it up, and that somebody is all of you."

"What? What do we have to do it?" Leo complained.

"Because you missed out on the fight, that's why!" Briney barked. "If you had waited a few more minutes before doing your mystical Aura thing, you might have been able to join the battle and keep it from being as tricky and messy as it was. But you didn't and so there's a whole heap of garbage covering my poor _Peeko._ So get to it already! Chop-chop! Yes, you too, Tiny, this may be your big moment of reawakening but that doesn't mean you can skip work like everyone else. On this ship, everyone earns their keep, and that includes you, boy!" They groaned, but reluctantly picked up the cleaning implements and got to work, glaring at him and thinking vile thoughts all the while, apparently forgetting that he could hear everything that went through their heads. He didn't particularly care what they thought, though, so long as none of them plotted mutiny.

"That was not very nice," Sasha commented.

"I never said I was a nice person," Briney said. "Since you were on hand to fight the monster, you can either help clean up or go back to your nap. Which will it be?"

"I think I'll help out," Sasha said. "Since I couldn't help them inside of Tiny, helping them clean up is the least I can do."

"Fair enough. I'll join you, then," Briney said.

Sasha glanced at him in surprise. "You will?"

"Sure. Just because I'm the Captain doesn't mean I'm not willing to get my claws dirty," Briney said, summoning some more cleaning supplies. "So, let's get to it! It'll be a messy task, but such is the life of a seamon…and a Rescue Team, I suppose."

The others' moods lightened somewhat when they saw that Briney was helping out too, but that didn't stop them from grumbling about how much of a hardass he was. Since Briney also viewed himself as a hardass, he took no offense to their thoughts. He'd been called worse things by worse people, though usually not to his face.

And so, with their bonds of friendship strengthened, Team Aurabolt tackled the unpleasant task of cleaning up the leftover bits of giant Tentacruel. It was an unpleasant job, but at least they were doing it together, and that counted for something, right?

…

Meanwhile, under the sea…

"Papa, they've destroyed the Tentacruel you sent. The poor thing…" the Pokemon spying on Team Aurabolt reported to its master.

The Nihilator Admiral leaned back in his seat. "Hmm. I'm not surprised. I didn't really expect it to succeed in destroying them."

"What? But then why did you send it?" the confused spy asked.

"Call it a test. I wanted to see how strong they were. And whether the legendary Captain Briney is really as powerful as everyone says he is. Tell me more about the battle," the Admiral ordered. He listened to his spy's report, a frown deepening when he learned that only Sasha and Briney had fought the beast. "What were the others doing while the Tentacruel attacked?"

"I don't know," the spy confessed. "They were…glowing. Or something."

"Hmm. Keep observing them, then," the Admiral ordered. "Find out where it is that they're going. We will be within range soon enough."

"Yes, Papa."

The Admiral hung up and swiveled his seat to look out the window at the ocean passing by…and the shadow of his pet, swimming just outside. _Disappointing…I had hoped to see how Ash would react to an encounter like this._ He scowled. _Ash…Oblivion's Shadow has ordered you either be brought in alive, or, if that's not possible, kill you and capture your soul. I certainly intend to do everything I can to make sure the latter happens._ He snarled and clenched his teeth, the sphere in his arm glowing and causing his pet to moan. _Ash…you will pay for what you've done…you will pay for letting her die!_

…

Meanwhile, in Pokemon Square…

Once more, a meeting had been convened at the Mayor's pond. However, the group gathered around the Whiscash's residence that day was much larger than normal. Aside from the usual crowd, the town's strongest Rescue Teams were present, as were Zoro and Wes's teams and a number of high-ranking officers in the Draconian Empire's military, including the mysterious and heretofore unknown Koga, Nuken's brother and head of the Dragon's Head clan, which nobody had heard of before now (officially, anyway). All these fearsome Pokemon had been gathered in one place for a council of war. The Mayor and the others had finished briefing everyone on the information obtained from Allen's memories, and after the initial cries of outrage, shock, and fury had died down, launched right into explaining the plan of attack that had been decided upon the previous evening.

"As ye can see here," Scotty said, pointing to the scale-model hologram of Mt. Blaze Latias had constructed using her Light powers. "Mt. Blaze is one tough nut to crack. While those barbarian bairns no longer have the advantage of numbers thanks tae our Draconian reinforcements, they've still got their home turf tae fall back on. According to our joint intelligence, along with the information we managed to retrieve from Allen's brain and the minds of the couriers that came the other day, as well as a few timely visions from Sabrina, the volcano's been heavily reinforced and fortified over the last few months to become a virtually impregnable stronghold. Even if we march on the place with all our forces, they could just withdraw intae the mountain, collapse the entrances, and wait us out in a nice, long siege. They've got plenty of food stockpiled up, and even if that runs out, they can always feast on each other or their prisoners. We cannae Dig our way in due tae all the lava channels, and they probably have their own counter-sappers even if we tried tae get in that way. We cannae just float the Sky Tower in and blast the mountain with its heavy weaponry either, the rock's too thick and we'd only be futilely chipping at its sides. It could take days tae break in that way, and they'd be flinging fireballs and other heavy ordinance at us the whole time. Teleportation is out of the question too, since there's too high a risk of phasing into a wall and scrambling yer molecules all over the place. Ye take that into consideration along with the fact that the Monkey King is stronger than ever, has Groudon on his side, has a small army of Devil Golems due tae hatch any day now, _and_ has a seemingly invincible force field surrounding the mountain that nobody other than his mons can pass through without dying, and it seems like any attack on the mountain is over before it even begins." He grinned. "Emphasis on _seems_."

"The force field will not be a problem for very long," Latias said clearly to everyone. "Once we've reached Mt. Blaze, I will use my Guardian powers to bring it down. It will use up a lot of my energy, however, so once I destroy the shield I won't be able to help anymore. Everything else will be up to you."

"And what exactly is 'everything else?'" Wes spoke up.

"Si, how exactly do you expect us to break into that mountain after all those things you said?" Zoro asked. There were several murmurs of agreement from the rest of the crowd.

"Hold yer Rapidashes already, we're getting there!" Scotty snapped.

"Once the shield is down," Nuken said, Latias helpfully making the force field in her hologram disappear. "We will send in several waves of Draconian ground and air troops to attack the forces guarding the scorched plains outside the mountain. Tunnelers will burrow underneath them and hit them from behind, catching them in a two-pronged trap and preventing them from escaping into the mountain."

"This is just a distraction, of course," Scotty said as colored dots waged war around the holographic Mt. Blaze, green representing the Imperial forces and red symbolizing the Monkey King's troops. "Whether or not they send out reinforcements is irrelevant, it keeps their attention where we want it until it's too late."

"While their forces are committed to repelling our assault, Zoro's airship and a number of dragons will airlift several divisions of the Empire's finest as well as Pokemon Square's top Rescue Teams into position above the mountain's peak," Nuken said, as several more green dots as well as a miniature of the _Espada _appeared in the hologram.

"Wait, I will?" said the alarmed Zoro. "I don't remember agreeing to that."

"You've been drafted, you don't have a choice," Nuken said flatly.

"Wonderful…" Zoro grumbled. Rosa patted his shoulder reassuringly, while El Toro and Lobo Fuerte exchanged worried looks.

"Once the aerial group is in position over the mountain, the troops and Rescue Teams onboard will be dropped and flown into the crater," Scotty continued. "There'll be a fair amount of ground-to-air fire going on, but the Monkey King has no air force—other than a few turncoat Charizards—and most of their flak will be focused on the main force attacking the perimeter, so it shouldnae be _much_ of a problem."

"Wait, you're dropping us into the crater? As in, the mouth of an active volcano?" Rui cried in alarm as several green and blue dots—the blue representing Pokemon Square, one of which might be _her_—fell from the hovering green dots and _Espada_ into the crater.

"Don't worry, there's no lava there at the moment. They've sealed up the central shaft tae trap the heat inside and use it for their own purposes," Scotty assured her.

"But it's still possible to enter the interior from the crater, which is where our _true _endeavor will begin," Nuken said as the hologram turned transparent, revealing a maze of tunnels and caves crisscrossing the mountain's interior. "Our combined forces will infiltrate their stronghold and hit a number of high-priority targets that should cripple the Monkey King's army and break his power. Each target will be handled by a division or two of Draconian troops led by Rescue Teams, since most of them have had experience navigating and battling through Mt. Blaze from past missions there and should be able to guide the way towards their respective goals." The Rescue Teams and military dragons exchanged dubious looks, the Rescue Teams unhappy because they didn't look forward to an escort mission and the Draconians displeased because they had to follow the lead of non-military civilians who weren't even citizens of the Empire.

"And just what are these targets?" one of the Draconian generals, a Dragonite named Fafnir, asked.

"I'm glad ye asked," Scotty said. Several areas of the map started glowing. "Team GSC's squad will hit the breeding pits tae liberate the womon imprisoned there."

Team GSC, a group of teenagers and occasional rivals of Team Aurabolt comprised of Jimmy the Typhlosion, Marina the Feraligatr, and Vincent the Meganium nodded. "Sounds like a plan," Jimmy rumbled.

"But why do they call them breeding 'pits?'" Marina asked.

"Because they're holes in the ground they drop womon into after breaking their limbs and chaining them to rocks and blocks and the like so they can't escape and they can go down and rape them whenever they want," Vincent said.

Marina turned pale. "Oh…"

"Don't worry, I won't let anything like that ever happen to you," Jimmy assured her.

"What, you don't want to put her in one of your own?" Vincent joked. His teammates glared at him. "Er, right, not funny…sorry…"

"Team Constrictor, ye're some of the best with children, so we're sending ye tae the barracks where they brutally train kids to be soldiers straight from the egg," Scotty said, pointing to another cave. "Yer objective is tae rescue 'em so we can break the vicious indoctrination the barbarians have been hammering into their impressionable minds!"

"Those poor children…" murmured Cress the Cradily.

"We'll be sure to get those kids out," Tricia the Tentacruel promised.

"And give them lots of hugs!" the Team leader, Ursula the Octillery vowed.

"Um…child soldiers? How is that different from what you do with your _poco unos_ here in Pokemon Square?" El Toro asked.

There was an awkward pause. "Er…we…train them with love. To protect people rather than kill and conquer. Or…something like that…" Chuck muttered.

"Uh…anyway! Team Razor Wind and Team Flame," Scotty said, quickly changing the subject. "Your objectives are tae liberate the innocent Pokemon the barbarians are holding captive." Two caves started flashing. Scotty pointed to one of them. "These are the slave barracks, where the Pokemon the Monkey King's army have pressed into service are being kept in squalid conditions. Razor Wind, the three of ye are good at moving—and eliminating—quickly, so should be able tae break in there and take out the guards before they kill the slaves tae try and keep us from saving them."

"Our blades will cut down any opposition in our path," Sickle the Scyther said.

"No barrier will stand before us, be it living or inanimate," Sandy the Sandslash vowed.

"We'll get those slaves out in one piece," Team leader Zeke the Zangoose promised...though secretly he was not as confident as he wished to appear. While he as honored to be chosen for a mission this important, and more than willing to take the fight to the barbarians who were threatening his home, the very real possibility that he might not come back was never far from his thoughts. If he were to die, how would Sally, his Seviper fiancée, take it? Would she be able to manage on her own? They were supposed to get married soon…why did all this trouble have to start just when they were ready to enter a new phase in their relationship?

"What about us? You said we were freeing some prisoners too," Celsius the Camerupt of Team Flame spoke up.

"That ye are," Scotty said, pointing at the second flashing cave. "This is the dungeon where they keep all the prisoners that, for whatever reason, they dinnae put tae work. It's near one of the hottest lava flows, so the temperatures run hotter than the Abyss down there. Most of the Pokemon who get locked up there die faster from dehydration than torture. Since ye're Fire-types, ye should be able tae withstand the heat long enough to break the poor blighters out." He paused, and then glanced at Bella the Bellsprout, the leader of Team Flame. "Though ye may want to put some fire-retardant clothing on, lass, tae keep from burning up."

Bella sighed. _Whose bright idea was it for me to form a team of Fire-types again?_

"Team Tops and Team Seasons…I ken the lot of ye are foaming at the mouth for a chance at payback, am I right?" Scotty addressed two teams.

The Rescue Teams in question nodded. "Don't you know it!" said Spenser the Fearow, leader of Team Seasons.

"We're more than happy to make those bastards pay for what they did to Seasonburg," snarled Joel, a Dodrio. The rest of the team, Cameron the Pelipper and Elita the Skarmory, shrieked in assent.

"And we would be more than happy to get some revenge for what they did to Vientown, too," said Sven the Luxray, leader of Team Tops. His partners, Wendy the Staraptor and Keith the Buizel nodded in agreement.

Team Tops and Team Seasons were not from Pokemon Square, or at least not originally. They had been the highest-ranking Rescue Teams of the neighboring villages of Vientown and Seasonburg, and had been as surprised as everyone else when the united barbarian hordes had destroyed their towns and killed or enslaved almost everyone who lived there. Only a few Rescue Teams and a handful of survivors had managed to escape the massacre, and had sought refuge in Pokemon Square. Now that they had had a chance to recover from their flight and the shock of losing their homes, they were more than ready to assist the rest of Pokemon Square in defeating the barbarians responsible.

"I had figured as much," Scotty said with a nod. Two more areas started flashing on the map. "These spots here are the barracks and soldier's quarters, where the bulk of the soldiers who aren't on duty spend their time training, eating, and fucking. Take 'em out so we dinnae have tae worry about enemy reinforcements."

"Are our orders to capture or kill?" Elita asked.

"I leave that up to your discretion," Scotty said.

The Pokemon smiled coldly. "No problem," Sven said. "We'll have those barracks taken out faster than good old Barlow could say, 'Target Clear!'"

"Or at least, faster than he could have said it, if he were still alive…" Keith said somberly. Sven's smile faded at that.

"Team Frontier and Team Ebony, ye'll be leading an especially large division with one purpose: find the traitor, T-Bone the Tyranitar," Scotty said to two Rescue Teams. "Frontier, ye're good at exploring dangerous places. Ebony, ye're good at finding rare treasures in places most others wouldae think tae look. By combining yer talents, I'm hoping ye'll be able to track down T-Bone."

The two Teams glanced at each other. "Well, all right. This wouldn't be the first time we've worked together," said Atlas the Machoke, leader of Team Frontier.

Spite the Shuppet, leader of Team Ebony, nodded. "We make a good team. Or rather, super-team."

"But, uh…are we really going to be able to take out T-Bone? I mean, even with a bunch of Draconian soldiers backing us up…" Samantha the Mawile of Team Frontier said.

One of the dragons growled. "What, you don't think we can defeat a single Tyranitar?"

"No," Edgar the Murkrow of Team Ebony said flatly. "T-Bone is—or was--one of the strongest Pokemon in town. He and Charlie were the muscle of Team A.C.T. I heard he once depopulated an entire fortress all by himself, even before he was part of A.C.T.!"

"That's why you are getting a larger division of troops than the others," Nuken said. "In addition, you will receive backup in the form of Wes and Zoro's teams."

The Pokemon in question stirred at this. "They will?" Rosa asked.

"I guess so," Wes said.

"They could've asked us first…" Gonzap complained.

"Some might say that four Teams and at least two dozen Imperial dragons is overkill for a single Tyranitar…but T-Bone's power aside, the fact that he's such an incredibly high-priority target is more than enough reason to warrant these extra measures," the Mayor said. "Not only does he need to be brought to justice for betraying his town and team, but we need to discover his connection to the mysterious 'Team Rocket' and find out what Giovanni's up to. As such, I want him brought in alive…which means no 'accidents' or vigilante justice, do I make myself clear?" They nodded reluctantly.

"By the way, Wes and Zoro, we'll be needing tae register ye as official Teams for this mission, so ye can get badges and scarves and all," Scotty said.

Lobo made a face. "Do we have to?"

"I don't like registering for things," Gonzap complained.

Scotty shrugged. "Sorry, those are the regulations. So, I'm going tae need names for each of ye. Have ye come up with anything?"

"I suppose we shall be Team LaMancha, after our hometown," Zoro proclaimed.

"And I think Team Snagem works for us," Wes said. Rui and Gonzap smirked, getting the inside joke.

"Right. LaMancha and Snagem it is," said Scotty.

"Now…while everything we've just covered is of the utmost importance, all of it pales compared to what slumbers within the bowels of Mt. Blaze," Nuken said, indicating a massive glowing chamber deep within the mountain. "It is here that the nascent Devil Golems and Groudon are being kept. Something needs to be done about them."

"There is little we can do about Groudon directly at the moment, but we can still destroy the Golems before they hatch," Master Yamiri said. "I shall lead a division into their nest and use a number of relics and weapons Latias was kind enough to bless to kill them before they can hatch and destroy us all."

"But that's unethical!" Ursula protested.

Everyone stared at her. "What," Nuken said flatly.

"W-well, I mean, isn't that abortion?" Ursula stammered. "You're killing them before they even have a chance to be born!"

"…They are incredibly evil creatures, living engines of destruction, forged from blood and death and the souls of innocents," Yamiri said slowly. "How is it unethical to destroy them before they can hatch and cause great devastation?"

"Well, how do you know they'll be evil? They haven't even been born yet! You can't judge what someone's life is going to be like before they come out of the egg!" Ursula protested. Quite a few people facepalmed.

"We can in this case," Latias corrected her.

"Right, so that's that," Scotty said.

"But-" Ursula started.

"SO THAT'S THAT!" the Abra bellowed. "Master Yamiri, ye were saying?"

"Er, yes, like I said, I will lead a division to destroy the Devil Golems. However, Groudon may interfere with our plans. To deal with him, I would like Teams Raider, Charm, and AWD to accompany me," Yamiri said. "You are the strongest Rescue Teams in town save for Team Auraforce now that Team A.C.T. is no more, and you work the best together. As such, by combining your abilities I believe you will be able to take down Groudon, or at least hold him off long enough for us to do what needs to be done."

The nine Pokemon glanced at each other and smiled. "Work together?" Gallant the Gallade, leader of Team Raider, said. "I don't think that should be a problem."

"Yes, we're _very_ good at working together," Lady the Weavile, leader of Team AWD, said with a smirk.

Paris the Lopunny, leader of Team Charm, giggled. "Yes…in more ways than one!" Her teammates snickered at that.

Team Raider, AWD, and Charm, had one of the most complex and interesting relationships of any Rescue Team in Pokemon Square. While they were ostensibly rivals, always trying to outdo each other and take the highest ranking, they were also best of friends…and a bit more. _Much_ more.

It all started when Gallant had evolved into a Gallade. Gallades, much like Lucarios, seemed to have a built-in sense of justice that drove them to do the right thing and help those in need, as well as a special power that helped them connect with and read the hearts of others, though a Gallade's ability came from Psychic prowess rather than Aura. Gallant was no different in this. However, one key thing that differentiated Gallades from Lucario was their…sexual activities. Lucario for the most part remained celibate until they found a partner whose heart resonated with their own, and stayed with that other Pokemon for the rest of their life. Gallade, on the other hand, were more likely to have multiple partners throughout their lifespan, often at the same time. This was not to imply that they were Casanovas or objectified womon, far from it. Gallades honestly loved and cared for the womon they were involved with, using their Psychic powers to seek out only the best and most deserving of Pokemon to mate with, regardless of their physical appearance. They were just unable to pick _one_ to stay with. Many said their hearts were too big to share with a single person.

As a result, the majority of Gallades who settled down rather than roving the countryside in search of wrongs to right and evils to destroy wound up with several wives, and Gallant was no different in this, either. Upon his evolution, he started seeing many of his longtime friends, neighbors, and teammates in a different light, and very quickly became intimate with his partners, Roxie the Rhyperior and Forsythia the Roserade. However, he soon found himself attracted to his rival Lady the Weavile and…well, pretty much everyone on Team Charm, so began courting them with permission from his teammates. They were unable to resist his honest and straightforward feelings towards them for long (Not even Team Charm, and they had only thought they were into each other. Gallant quickly proved them wrong), and soon became part of his burgeoning harem. Lady's teammates King the Arbok and Reg the Drapion had initially protested, until _they_ got invited to the party too, and quickly lost their opposition to it. They were fairly happy with the way things were between them, and so had turned down most of the Pokemon who had tried to join their 'thing,' including Misty's sisters, much to their dismay. (They fooled around with Bruce now and then, but he didn't really count, since _everybody_ did Bruce sooner or later.)

Oddly enough, so far only two children had been born from this somewhat unorthodox union, Evan (to King and Lady) and Mary (to Grace the Medicham and Gallant—at least, they _thought_ Gallant was the father). Yes, that's right, two-thirds of Team Nightshade are the children of some of the best—and most intricately involved—Rescue Teams in town. Didn't see that coming, did you? They had joined Gary to form the original Team Meanies to rebel against their parents—feeling they could never live up to everyone's expectations of them—as well as confusion regarding how their family tree worked out. Were they siblings? Cousins? Both? Neither? What? Add in Mary's issues regarding the fact that her mother was bisexual and frequently slept with her aunts, her dad, _and_ the other members of their complex 'family,' her fear that she might turn out the same way, and her feelings of insecurity due to not being _nearly _as pretty as her mother and 'aunts,' and was it any reason she was kind of messed up? (Evan was cool with it, oddly enough. He enjoyed the frequent sleepovers and getting lots of presents on holidays and his birthday. His only real complaint was that he sometimes had trouble sleeping, what with all the…activity going on in his parents' bedroom.) They seemed to be getting their act together more recently, but were still a long way from being anywhere as good as their parents, as the various Team Nightshade interludes have probably made clear by now. The three teams were more than a little anxious about how their kids were doing in Almiore…they hadn't heard from them for a while now.

What does any of this history and juicy gossip have to do with the matters at hand? Absolutely nothing, but it was an interesting piece of backstory that shed new light on the way you might think of certain characters, wasn't it?

"So, are we supposed to free Groudon while we're down there, or what?" Melodi the Gardevoir of Team Charm asked.

"That all depends on Team Auraforce," Yamiri said, glancing at Aaron, Raiki, and Charla. "Aaron?"

Aaron stepped forward. "While the rest of you are causing disturbances all over the fortress and crippling the barbarian forces, Raiki, Charla and I are going to take the fight directly to Gal, the Monkey King."

Charla nodded. "We're going to save my Charlie, and kill that asshole!"

"Since Gal has the Red Orb that commands Groudon, it might not be a good idea to free Groudon until Gal is beaten and the Orb shattered," Raiki said. "Actually, considering Groudon, it might not be a good idea to free him even _after_ he's been released from Gal's control. He's not the kind of deity who might see much of a difference between the Pokemon who freed him and the ones who enslaved him. We're all like insects to him…er, no offense, Sickle." The Scyther scowled.

Yamiri nodded. "He was sealed in the Magma Cavern Pit ages ago for a reason."

"So…what, we're just going to leave him there?" Paris asked with a frown.

"Better that than have him rampaging across the countryside," Scotty pointed out. "Besides, he was already locked up in one prison before the barbarians got their dirty paws on him, why move him from another?"

"I would have no problem seeing that monstrosity sealed away for all time," one of the Draconian generals, a shiny Salamence named Nidhogg, growled. Considering how the most devout followers of Rayquaza viewed Groudon as a sort of satanic figure that their god-king occasionally needed to defeat to restore balance to the world, this sentiment was no surprise to anyone.

"On the other hand, if he _were_ to escape, then our King could surely defeat him, even in his current condition!" another, a Flygon named Smaug, said fervently.

All eyes turned towards Rayquaza. "Um. Yes. Right. Definitely. No problem," he said, laughing uneasily.

"It probably won't come to that…but we'll see what mood Groudon is in after Team Auraforce defeats Gal and decide his fate from there," Nuken said smoothly.

"Once all the missions have been taken care of and the barbarians are truly defeated, there is only one last thing for us tae do tae finish them off for good…" Scotty smacked a palm into a fist. "Blow Mt. Blaze to smithereens!"

Everyone exchanged alarmed looks. "What? How are we supposed to do that?" asked a concerned Cress.

"Wouldn't that trigger an eruption that could destroy a good portion of Kanjohenn?" Cameron asked nervously

"Not if done right," Koga said. Everyone started. They had almost forgotten the Ninjask was there…which was only a testament to how good he was at his job. "While everyone else has engaged the barbarian horde, it will provide a distraction members of my clan can use to sneak throughout the mountain and plant explosives in key structural faults. Once the bombs are in place and all the prisoners, Imperial forces, and Rescue Teams have evacuated, we will detonate them, causing a chain reaction that will make Mt. Blaze collapse on itself without erupting, burying anyone fool enough to stay behind under millions of tons of rubble, putting an end to the age of the Blaze Fire Lords forever." The hologram of Mt. Blaze was abruptly rocked by explosions and crumbled to the ground.

"Cooool," said an impressed Wes. Pretty much everyone else agreed.

"That's not to say this is a perfect plan," Nuken said. "We're fully aware that something could go wrong. It's possible that one of the other barbarian armies might attack Pokemon Square or our army at the same time we're invading Mt. Blaze, either to help their allies or to take advantage of their weakness. Also, there's a slim chance that some of the Nihilators, the villains backing the barbarians, may be present in the mountain."

"If you encounter any Nihilators, there's a good chance that they're Shadow Pokemon, and not to be taken lightly," Aaron said. "If you can capture them, we may be able to get information out of them, but it's understandable if you have no choice but to kill them."

"However, if you run into the ice witch Bellum, one of the other higher-ranking Nihilators, or the mysterious sorcerer who is responsible for creating the shield around Mt. Blaze and Amber Palace, as well as interrupting the summoning spell we used to call the Guardian of Light and changing our liege into his current form, I do not recommend you engage them," Nuken warned. "They are incredibly powerful and not to be taken lightly. Do not throw your lives away trying to be heroes. You have a job to do, so do it, and don't take any pointless or unnecessary risks."

"But since we all know ye're going tae anyway, remember to hold ontae yer badges at all times," Scotty said. "They'll allow ye to keep in touch with each other, and with me, who'll be coordinating things from here in town with Rhythmi and Linda." Rhythmi and Linda were also refugees from Vientown and Seasonsburg. They had served much the same function that Scotty did in Pokemon Square, acting as mission control to Rescue Teams out in the field. "Since this is going tae be such a big operation, I'll need their help keeping everything under control. Additionally, they'll be able to beam not just you, but any prisoners, slaves, hostages, wounded, or whatnot you might run into in there back to home base, where we'll have a team of Joys waiting to get ye back in fighting trim. Bless their bonnie pink hides, is there nothing they can't fix up?"

"Dying?" Bella said timidly.

"Eh, sometimes they can even fix that, if the timing's right," Vincent said.

"When do we attack?" Gallant asked.

"We will begin the assault the day after tomorrow," Nuken informed him. "It will take us that long to gather all the troops we'll need and get everything into position."

"And once we do…" Aaron said, clenching his paw into a fist. "We will come down on Mt. Blaze like a Hammer Arm. The Monkey King and his army will be crushed beneath our wrath. We will show them, and all others who seek to destroy us, what happens when they wish to bring ruin to all we hold dear."

"Yeah, we ruin them instead!" Raiki half-joked.

"But even once they _are_ ruined, we won't be in the clear yet," the Mayor reminded everyone. "There are still two whole other armies to worry about, as well as the Nihilators, _and_ Team Rocket, and we cannot be certain how either will react to our new, more aggressive stance. As a result, I have decided to conscript everyone in town into teams, even those who prefer to work solo or haven't seen much combat in recent years. We're going to need every hand or claw or paw or flipper or talon or leaf or pseudopod or other appendage we've got to survive this. Additionally, I've authorized Chuck to intensify his training, both to strengthen the fighters we already have and make the newer and weaker teams more prepared for the battles to come."

"Yeah, you all get to spend more time in my dojo. Won't that be fun?" Chuck asked with a sinister grin. Many of the Rescue Teams groaned.

"This will not be an easy battle…but I foresee we will be victorious in the end," Sabrina said. "And no, that's not a prophecy…it's faith, which sometimes can be just as good."

Latias smiled as she felt everyone's spirits rise, emboldened by Sabrina's statement. She, too, had faith that they would win…and she was a god, so she knew a thing or two about faith. This would not be the first time she had assisted in an attack on an enemy stronghold, or aided in the defense of some town in the middle of nowhere, but she still found herself looking forward to the impending battle, even if she would by necessity have to miss out on most of it. She liked Pokemon Square, and she liked its people, and she intended to do whatever it took to protect it.

She found herself wondering if that might be part of the motivation behind Giovanni and T-Bone's actions. Many times great evil had been done in the name of protecting something precious. Was that the basis behind Team Rocket's actions, too? If so, only time would tell whether or not they had been right to do the things they did…or if they were just more misguided fools committing atrocities to further a cause.

She hoped the same could not be said of her or her allies, too…sometimes even the best of people could lose their way during a war. She knew that all too well from experience.

…

Meanwhile, in Pueltown…

Team Nightshade was on stage in the Selene Theater, the great hall empty of any audience save for Hayzee, who critiqued and directed them from the front row. They were rehearsing for their big debut in the Sunflora's remake of Maria and Draco. It was going about exactly how you would expect it to.

"When the war of the beastsss bringsss about the world'sss end/the goddesss dessscendsss from the sssky, wingsss of light and dark ssspread afar, ssshe guidesss usss to blisss, her gift everlasssting," Evan read from his script, gesturing overdramatically.

"Wrong script," Hayzee interrupted.

"Huh?" said Evan.

"Wrong script. That's Loveless, not Maria and Draco," the Sunflora said.

"Oh," Evan said. Mary handed him a new script. "Thanksss. Ahem: Prithee, call me 'princccesss' no more! Marcusss, wilt thou truly cherisssh me, the king'sss only daughter? Or isss sssuch a desssire too much to wisssh for? After our nuptialsss-"

"Wrong script again," Hayzee interrupted. "That's I Want to be Your Chatot."

"Oh," Evan said. Mary handed him a new script. "Thanksss. Ahem: Hakuna matata! What a wonderful phrassse! Hakuna matata! Ain't no passsing-"

"That's the script for the Luxray King," Hayzee interrupted.

"Oh," Evan said. Mary handed him a new script. "Thanksss. Ahem: No more talk of darknesss, forget thessse wide-eyed fearsss, I'm here, nothing can harm you-"

"That's the script for Ghost of the Theater," Hayzee interrupted.

"Oh," Evan said. Mary handed him a new script. "Thanksss. Ahem: Dear Arceusss, you made many, many poor people. I realizzze, of courssse, that it'sss no ssshame to be poor-"

"That's the script for Kricketune on the Roof," Hayzee interrupted.

"Oh," Evan said. Mary handed him a new script. "Thanksss. Ahem-"

"Hold on a second. Mary, are you deliberately giving Evan the wrong scripts out of petty jealousy due to his getting the part you've always dreamed of playing, while you're stuck as grass?" Gary said.

"…Maybe," Mary muttered. Evan gave her a hurt look.

"Well, cut it out! Sabotaging Evan isn't going to make it any easier for us to rehearse! We've only got a couple of days left to get our act together; we don't have time for any of our usual crazy shenanigans!" Gary said.

"Sorry, Gary," Mary said, chastened. She handed Evan a new script. It was the correct one this time.

"Oh my hero, my beloved, ssshall we be made to part, though promisssesss of perennial love yet sssing here in my heart? I'm the darkness, you're the ssstarlight, ssshining brightly from afar. Through hoursss of dessspair, I offer thisss prayer to you, my evening ssstar. Mussst my final vowsss exxxchanged be with him and not with you? Were you only here to quiet my fear…O ssspeak! Guide me anew," Evan sang, his usually irritating voice now melodious and smooth as silk, resonating with a harmony and perfect pitch that left his friends awestruck and short of breath, marred only slightly by the fact that he kept hissing all the time.

"Beautiful…simply beautiful," Hayzee whispered, wiping away a tear. "It takes my breath away every time I hear it!"

"Evan, why did you never tell us before now you were so good at singing?" Maren asked.

"It didn't ssseem relevant," Evan said with a shrug. Mary scowled. Evan even had a better singing voice than she did, despite the hiss! It wasn't fair…

"All right Gary, your turn," Hayzee said.

Gary nodded and looked at his script. "Come, Maria! Dance with me…Ha-ha-ha-" Everyone flinched. Gary's singing voice was much, much worse than Evan's. It grated at the ears and gave them a headache listening to him not just miss notes, but go in the completely opposite direction and hit them from behind.

"Stop! Stop!" Hayzee shrieked, throwing up her leaves. "Ugh, that was terrible, Gary! Didn't you do any of the singing exercises I told you to do?"

"I spent most of last night on them…" Gary said miserably. "And quite a bit of this morning, too!"

Evan nodded. "That'sss right, he did, we had to sssend him to the roof to practiccce sssinccce he wasss keeping the ressst of usss up!"

Hayzee sighed. "Great…all right, Gary, let's do some more exercises, then."

"Huh? But what about rehearsal?" Gary asked.

"It's no good being able to say the lines or do the right moves if you sound horrible doing it!" Hayzee said.

"Can't I just lip-synch or something? I hear they do that all the time in other shows when there's something wrong with a lead actor's voice," Gary said.

"Other shows, yes," Hayzee acknowledged. "But not this one! Besides, none of my remaining crew has the right kind of voice to handle Draco's lines, and we never thought to record my original pick for Draco singing his parts, so we have no choice but to keep working on your voice until it works!"

Gary sighed. "All right…"

"Maybe it would be fine the way it is?" Mary suggested, seeing how resigned and despondent Gary looked. "I mean, if they laugh at his voice, that won't be so bad, right? They'll treat it like it's a comedy."

Hayzee fixed her with a hundred-kilowatt stare. "Yes, except that Maria and Draco isn't a comedy, it's one of the greatest works of art of all time! And besides, his singing voice isn't 'funny bad,' it's '_bad_ bad.' So he needs to practice until his voice isn't bad at all, but good!" Mary nodded reluctantly, knowing the Sunflora was right.

"Uh, while you do that, I need to step outside to take a breath of fresh air, if that's okay," Maren said, noticing what time it was.

"Hmm…all right, go ahead, but don't take too long, we still have a lot of work to do," Hayzee said. Maren nodded and headed offstage.

"Can we take a break too?" Evan asked.

Hayzee scowled. "Of course not! Maren's got a good grasp of the lines and the dance routine, but the rest of you still need a lot of work. Evan, your singing is excellent, but your dancing is not. Mary, you fidget too much, grass is supposed to lie down and be still, not move around all the time! So Evan, start dancing, and Mary, get on the ground and do absolutely nothing." They groaned and did as they were told. "Gary, give me a C sharp note!" The Gengar opened his mouth and sang for a few seconds. She cut him off. "Terrible! Terrible! That was an M note, not a C note! Try again!"

"I didn't even know there wasss sssuch a thing asss an M note," Evan commented, as he wriggled and threw his coils about.

"If there wasn't before, there is now," Mary muttered from her place on the ground.

"Mary, no talking! Grass doesn't speak; it stays silent and lets everyone trample all over it!" Hayzee ordered. Mary groaned. "I heard that! It doesn't groan either! Evan, stop gesticulating so much, it looks like you're having convulsions rather than actually dancing. Gary, try a G note!" Gary sang again. This time, it was a U note.

While Hayzee tyrannized Team Nightshade, Maren slipped out a back door and into an alleyway behind the theater. She walked to a fire escape on the side of a neighboring building and waited patiently underneath it for five minutes, as the note that had appeared next to her bed that morning bade her to.

Abruptly, someone clapped their hands around her eyes from behind. Maren stiffened, but bit down her instinctive reaction to drive an elbow into her assailant's kidneys, having an idea who had blinded her. "Who is it?" she asked, just to be certain.

"Someone who loves you." The intruder, dangling upside-down from the fire escape, spun Maren around and kissed her.

Maren leaned passionately into the kiss, drinking in the scent and taste of her lover. They had been far too long apart, it felt; even though it had only been a few weeks at most since last they had seen each other. It wasn't as if they hadn't been separated for longer periods of time. Regardless, Maren was still overjoyed to be with her partner again, to touch her and kiss her and feel the cool smoothness of her exoskeleton and have the comforting hum of her wings vibrate through her body. "I missed you," Maren finally said when they pulled apart, staring into the ruby eyes of the Ninjask.

"And I you," the Ninjask said, dropping from the fire escape and flipping over in midair to hover a few inches off the ground, wings buzzing rhythmically. "It sounds as if you have been having quite a hard time babysitting that Rescue Team, if your reports are anything to go by."

"It'll be a lot easier now that you're here, Janine," Maren said. Janine was her partner, both in the professional and romantic sense. They were both special agents of the Mirage Kingdom, though Janine, with her incredible speed and ninja training, tended to take on the more dangerous and stealthy missions, whereas Maren was good at hiding in plain sight and gathering information from those who spoke too freely in her presence. After all, nobody would expect a Togetic, a Pokemon reputed to be kind and pure-hearted that showered others with happiness, to be an experienced spy capable of killing an average Pokemon in several dozen ways. They worked very well together and were good at getting the job done, which was why their relationship off-duty was generally overlooked. It helped somewhat that Colonel Hansen, commander of the Mirage Kingdom's military, was Janine's twin and had grown to like Maren after the inevitable initial stage of mistrust and repeatedly testing her to make sure she wasn't taking advantage of his sister. There were some who thought it odd that the two were together, especially given the more 'unsavory' aspects of some of Janine's missions and the fact that she was much older than Maren and would most likely outlive her if she was careful, but few brought up these complaints for worry of how Hansen might react.

Both of them had been assigned to handle Team Nightshade and the search for Princess Sara and the Compass pieces. However, while Maren ferried the team from place to place and kept an eye on them, Janine had been engaged in following them and making sure word of their actions didn't spread too far, as well as investigating any leads regarded where the missing soldiers originally sent to find the Pieces had gone and what, if any, involvement the enigmatic Berry King had in what was going on. As such, they had been unable to speak to each other face-to-face since they had departed from Mirage Kingdom, only communicating in brief coded messages over special channels, and there wasn't much intimate you could say over them, considering that someone might always be listening. (And it was abuse of privileges and government property, but whatever.)

"Have you found out what happened to the Mirage Kingdom soldiers we sent here?" Maren asked, changing the subject to business. "I've been looking into it, but haven't found anything so far."

Janine nodded. "They went into an art museum while searching for the Compass piece and were a little too vocal in their criticisms of a new painting while in earshot of its creator…they just woke up from their comas a couple of days ago, and I made sure they were sent home in one piece."

Maren grimaced. "Jeez, they sure take art seriously in this town…" She frowned. "Am I the only one who finds it suspicious that every team of soldiers we sent out never returned, but were incapacitated by completely coincidental and seemingly unrelated circumstances? At least, as far as we know."

"I'm looking into that, too," Janine said. "As are our colleagues back home and abroad."

"Do you think the Berry King has anything to do with it?" Maren asked.

Janine shrugged. "I'm afraid that, at the moment, your guess is as good as mine."

Maren sighed. "That's frustrating…" She frowned. "And I suppose we're no closer to figuring out where he is or what his motives for kidnapping the Princess are?"

"No," Janine said…but there was a slight hesitation before she said that.

Maren frowned, immediately picking up on it. "What is it?"

Janine fidgeted slightly. "Maren…we are servants of the Mirage Kingdom, yes?"

Maren nodded. "Yeah, we took an oath to protect it. Why?"

"Does that oath mean we are loyal to the country…or to the Pokemon who rule it?" Janine asked.

Maren frowned. "Aren't they the same thing?"

"…Not necessarily," Janine said slowly.

"Why do you bring this up?" Maren asked suspiciously.

"Have you ever heard of an organization called the Nihilators?" Janine asked.

Maren thought for a moment. "…No, the name doesn't sound familiar. Why?"

"You are aware that my father and uncle are aiding the Dragon God King in a war of sorts on the continent of Kanjohenn?" Janine asked. Janine and Hansen were the children of Koga, head of the Dragon's Head clan of ninjas, which weren't suppose to exist but everyone in the intelligence community knew did anyway. This meant that the two insects had a very personal connection to the Draconian Empire's leadership, causing many of their peers to have doubts as to their loyalties to the Mirage Kingdom. Not Maren, though. She knew where Janine's devotion lay. At least, she thought she did.

Maren nodded. "Yeah, I saw it in the news. Everyone was really surprised that Rayquaza's gotten himself personally involved in protecting some town in the middle of nowhere from barbarians…a town that's not even part of his Empire! He got quite a few converts when that news came out. Why? And have you found out why they're taking such an interest in that town, anyway?"

"As to the latter, I'm afraid not, it's very classified," Janine apologized. "But as to why I bring this up…apparently the barbarians trying to destroy that town and conquer the continent are getting their power from an organization called the Nihilators, who seek to destroy the world."

This meant little to Maren. There were lots of terrorist organizations trying to take over and/or destroy the world, most of them collapsed on themselves before they caused too much trouble or killed each other in infighting and turf wars. "Okay…so, what does that have to do with your question about loyalty?"

"…There is something that you were not told about the abduction of the Princess," Janine said after a moment. "Something even I didn't know, until my brother told me a few days ago, and reluctantly gave me permission to tell you."

Maren frowned. She had thought just about everything about the Princess's kidnapping had been made public knowledge. Apparently, she was wrong. "What is it?"

"You know that my father and uncle had two other sets of siblings, right?" Janine asked.

Maren nodded. "Right, the heads of the Dragon's Claw and Dragon's Wing ninja clans. The former were wiped out by a traitor a few years ago, and the latter disappeared or something centuries ago, didn't they?"

"That is correct," Janine said. "I never met the heads of the Wing clan—they were before my time--but whenever my father brought them up, he almost sounded…ashamed for some reason. And absolutely certain they would never be seen again. And I believed him…until we received the message."

Maren frowned. "What message?"

"About a month before Sara's abduction, my brother received a message in a cipher that only our family knows how to use, over channels only we are aware of. The message informed him that Princess Sara was in danger from the Nihilators and their pawn, and that someone would be coming shortly to rescue her. It asked him not to interfere, and was signed with the names of my missing aunt and uncle, which almost nobody outside of my family or the great Rayquaza himself should know," Janine said.

Maren's eyes widened in horror. "Wait…are you saying-"

"That my brother allowed the kidnapping to take place? Of course not. He wasn't sure how, but he was convinced that it was some kind of forgery…and even if it was authentic, he was sworn to protect the Mirage Kingdom, and knew that responsibility was more important than duty to long-lost relatives he had never met and were held in disgrace. He informed the King and Queen at once, and security around Sara was increased," Janine said. "Unfortunately, even with the advance warning we were unable to prevent her abduction. Regardless, my brother still discredited most of the information in the letter as a trick…until he heard from my father about the Nihilators…"

Maren frowned. "Then…what, you think it was genuinely from your aunt and uncle?"

"It's starting to look that way," Janine said.

"But then where have they been all these years?" asked the perplexed Maren.

"Once he, too, heard about the letter and the Nihilators, my father told us a little more about what happened to them," Janine said. "For some reason which he refuses to discuss, about five hundred years ago, they and the rest of their clan lost faith in the Dragon God King, but rather than outright rebel like the Dragon's Toe, they merely severed ties to the empire and left to find 'a worthier master.' They disappeared soon after, and everyone thought that was the end of that. But now…"

"Now that we know they're alive, then that means…what, that they've found a worthier master? But who-" Maren gasped. "You don't think…the Berry King?"

"The letter said that someone was coming to 'rescue' Sara…and shortly after that, forces claiming to serve the Berry King abducted her," Janine said. "So…yes, I think it safe to say that they have done what nobody else has in hundreds of years: not only find the hidden land of the Berry King…but swear allegiance to him as well!"

"But why would they do that?" Maren wondered. "And why did they think she needed to be 'rescued' in the first place? Wasn't she safe with us? We would have protected her from these 'Nihilators,' whoever they are!"

"Considering how easily the Poffin Mon were able to abduct her, apparently we couldn't," Janine said bitterly. "But my brother wondered the same thing, why the Berry King, whoever he is, thought Sara needed to be 'rescued'…and then a thought occurred to him. What if the threat posed by the Nihilators is not from without, but from within? After all, the letter said that they had a pawn…"

"From with…no, that can't be! You can't really think they've managed to infiltrate the palace…can they?" Maren wondered.

"My brother is looking into it," Janine said. "Privately. Because suddenly he's no longer certain just who he can trust. That is why I asked you about loyalty, Maren…because if the unthinkable happened and it turned out that our _leaders_ were agents of this evil and mysterious force, who would you side with? Where would you stand?"

"Where would I stand?" Maren didn't need more than a second to decide her answer. "With the Kingdom, of course. With its people. Because if our leaders were servants of the Nihilators…then they would no longer be a part of our country."

Janine relaxed. "I had hoped you would say that."

"What if I hadn't?" Maren asked.

"Then I would have killed you right here and made sure nobody found the body," Janine said flatly. "Because you would have shown yourself to be unworthy of the trust I have given you…or the secrets that we have shared." A chill ran down Maren's spine, and it felt like the alley's temperature dropped a few degrees. She loved Janine dearly, truly she did…but sometimes her partner terrified her. There was more than a little darkness in her family line. It was what made them such good killers…and politicians.

"So what do we do now?" Maren asked.

"For now? We continue our mission, to find the Compass Pieces as well as Princess Sara. My brother is taking care of matters back home. Should something develop…he will deal with it," Janine said.

"All right," Maren said, choosing not to think too hard about how the good Colonel would handle matters. "So…Janine, if the Nihilators are our enemy, then…what of the Berry King? He kidnapped Sara, but warned us ahead of time, and has members of your family working for him. Is he friend or foe?"

"…That still remains to be seen," Janine said. "He kidnapped the Princess, which would normally make him an enemy, but…if he took her to protect her…" She shrugged. "We will have to find out for ourselves."

"I suppose so," Maren agreed reluctantly.

"You should probably return to the others," Janine said, glancing back at the entrance to the theater. "They may grow suspicious if you are gone for too long."

Maren snorted. "More like they'll burn the place down without someone to supervise them." She sighed. "You're right though, I should go…still, I wish we could spend more time together. I miss you when we aren't together."

"As do I," Janine said. "Do not worry, though. We will meet again soon."

"When?" Maren asked.

"I will contact you when the opportunity arises. For now, I must continue my investigation," Janine said.

"Speaking of investigations, you might want to look into why both the crew who were supposed to race in the Grand Prix and the lead actors in the play we're putting on were both coincidentally removed from the picture just before we got into town," Maren said. "That seems suspicious…but I'm not sure who would benefit from having Team Nightshade of all people take their place."

"Nor do I," Janine said. "But I shall look into that as well." She buzzed forward and pecked Maren on the lips. "I will try my best to attend your performance. Be sure that I will be there, even if you do not see me. Until next time…goodbye, my love." Her form blurred, and she vanished, as ninjas were wont to do.

"Goodbye," Maren said quietly to herself. A sad smile on her face, she headed back inside to continue rehearsal.

Once the alley was empty, Gary emerged from the wall he had been phased into, a frown on his face. "Hmm…well, isn't _that_ interesting…"

…

Meanwhile, under the sea (not where the Nihilator admiral's floating fortress was, but a different area)…

"Incredible," Wabbaku murmured.

"Unbelievable…" whispered Gardenia.

"It's even more beautiful than me!" Jessie said.

"_Almost_ as beautiful," Buzz corrected her.

"Magnificent," said an awestruck James.

"Chiiiii!" Chimecho drooled.

"Guuuuys, could you stop being all impressed over there? It makes me feel jealous, coz' I can't see anyding from back here!" Mickey, who was shoved in the back of the submarine tirelessly powering the undersea vessel by pedaling on a bicycle, complained.

"Sorry, Mickey, it's just…wow!" James said, eyes glued to the viewports on the side of the sub. "I've never seen anything like this!"

Team Rocket was still on their way to Hyperbeamorea at the bottom of the ocean. They were currently passing through a city built into the sides of a great canyon constructed out of coral and garbage and wreckage from sunken ships, reassembled in pleasing shapes and painted in vibrant colors, glowing bits of coral and rocks and algae decorating their forms and making them seem alive rather then the husks of wrecked vessels and the debris of terrestrial civilizations. Much like on the surface, marine Pokemon either dwelled in undersea communities and cities, lived 'naturally' as their ancestors had, or roved around the ocean in packs of marauders, killing and consuming anything in their path. The sea had a lot more space than the surface world did, so it was possible for truly gigantic cities to be built larger and more populous than any a land-dwelling Pokemon could possibly imagine. Most of these cities had little contact with the surface, however…the sea was a self-contained and self-sufficient world of its own, and had little interest in those who walked rather than swam, unless they ventured too far from their own domain. Normally this would have meant that Team Rocket's submarine would have been regarded with suspicion and hostility, and not allowed to venture within the city limits, but since it looked like a Magikarp—and giant Magikarp were rare, but not unheard of—they were regarded as a curiosity, but little more, and allowed to go on their way in peace, thus granting them an opportunity that few if any land-dwellers ever got.

All around them, the water was buzzing with life. Gyarados policemon watched over everyone, making sure nobody tried anything fishy (heh, a pun). Tentacool gangsters jetted about, doing shady deeds for their Tentacruel bosses. Staryu, Starmie, Chinchou and Lanturn whirled about, entertaining children with dazzling light shows, while Finneon and Lumineon put on elaborate dances nearby with Seakings and Kingdras. Remoraid cleaned Carvahna and Sharpedo teeth in a swim-through 'fish-wash' service, swimming in and out of the larger Pokemon's mouths without fear. Clamperl and Shellder merchants competed to see who could sell the most pearls to byswimmers. A snoozing Qwilfish was poked awake by the horn of a Goldeen, who quickly swam off before it could be skewered by the enraged Balloon Pokemon's needles, which startled a nearby Octillery who loosed a cloud of ink that darkened the water around them. Corsola swam about, placing shed horns on dwellings and domiciles to help them grow and look more decorative. Mantine carrying smaller passengers on their backs darted back and forth, ferrying Pokemon from place to place. Luvdisc kissed openly, not caring who was watching. Teams of Seels batted a hapless Spheal back and forth, while the older seal Pokemon did nothing but laugh. Pods of Wailord and Wailmer drifted by, so vast that all traffic ahead of them cleared to get out of their way. Immense schools of fish Pokemon swam around, their forms glistening in the sunlight filtering down from the surface and the glow from the structures around them as they darted back and forth, every gill and fin flapping and flowing in unison. Relicanth hung back and complained with Omastars and Kabutos about how much nicer everything was back in the 'old days.'

And that was just a fraction of the activity visible from the windows of the submarine! All around them, Pokemon sang and played and ate and went about their business, living their lives and going through the same day-by-day drama everyone did, all the while unaware of the intruders in their midst. "I really should have brought a camera," James commented. "Wouldn't the Boss be ecstatic to see all this!"

"I would too," Mickey said. "Uh, hey, I don't suppose I could get one of you to take my place for a second so I could-"

"None of our legs are as long as yours. You're the only one who can work the pedals," Buzz said.

"Yes, so quit complaining and keep pedaling!" Jessie ordered.

Mickey sighed and did as he was told. "Yes, ma'am…"

Wabbaku shook his head in wonder. "I can hear the water spirits singing all around us…this is a truly wondrous place. If only all Pokemon could live in harmony like this, then we would no longer need to fear barbarians or demons or other monsters."

"Does this place have a name?" Gardenia asked.

"Yes, but not in any tongue that makes sense when spoken out of the water…my wife probably would be able to translate it, though." He smiled. "Won't she be amazed when I tell her that I've seen this!"

Gardenia's heart stopped. "Your…your _wife?_"

"Yes, my wife, Lucy," Wabbaku said.

"I didn't know you were married," James commented.

Wabbaku blinked. "I never mentioned it?"

"No, never," said a surprised Jessie.

"I don't believe you did," Buzz said.

"Not dat I can recall," Mickey said.

"Chiiii!" Chimecho squealed.

"Wh-who is she?" Gardenia stammered, feeling her entire world crumble around her.

"Lucy's a Milotic from a school that lives in a lake near my tribe," Wabbaku explained. "We've been friends ever since we were children. Our parents arranged for us to be married before we were born to strengthen ties between our people. We were wed about a year or two ago, after she evolved and I finished my shaman training, and we have three children so far, two Wynaut and one Feebas." He frowned. "I really never mentioned this?" They shook their heads. "Huh. Must have slipped my mind."

"Y-yeah. M-m-must've," Gardenia quivered.

"You mean that all this time you've been with us, you've had a family waiting for you?" Jessie cried, actually looking appalled. "And you left them to fulfill your debt to me?"

"I had to. Honor is a very important thing, Miss Jessie," Wabbaku said. "Lucy wasn't happy when I told her I'd be gone for a while, but she understood and wished me luck. I didn't expect to be gone this long, though…however, once I have cured Mickey my responsibilities to Team Rocket will be fulfilled and I can return home. I hope she will not be too displeased I was absent for such a long time…"

"If…if she's the one you love…who you have children with and intend to spend the rest of your life with…then…then…I'm sure she'll forgive you. And you'll be happily ever after once you get back," Gardenia whispered.

"I should hope so, yes," the Wobbuffet said.

The Cacnea trembled. "Excuse me…I-I have to lie down…" She walked away and lay on the floor under her seat, curling up in a ball and softly rocking herself.

"Was it just me, or was she crying?" Buzz asked after a moment.

"Probably at how sad it is that Wabbaku left his home and family to come help us!" James wailed, tearing up himself.

"Is she pretty?" Mickey asked.

"Well, in my opinion she is the kindest, sweetest, most wonderful and beautiful Pokemon in the entire world…but I am not exactly unbiased regarding her, so you probably shouldn't take my word for it," Wabbaku said. Gardenia's heart broke more and more with each word that innocently spilled from his mouth.

"Wabbaku…why didn't you mention this sooner? If…if you had told me…" Jessie said.

Wabbaku shrugged. "It would have made no difference, Miss Jessie. A debt is a debt. You saved my life, so I needed to repay you. They understood that, so they let me go."

"You aren't worried about how dey might be doing widout you?" Mickey asked.

"The spirits have kept me updated on their progress. They're doing fine," Wabbaku said. He cracked a smile. "My eldest cast his first spell just the other day, actually…I wish I could have been there to see it! They threw a feast and everything!"

"I wish I could have been there too…I wouldn't mind a feast over our usual rations," Jessie complained. The other Rockets nodded in agreement, many of them drooling at the thought of all the succulent treats that would be available at such a banquet. Mickey drooled as well, which was a bit of a problem since his saliva was acidic and kept eating through the floor.

"Well…you could probably join in the festivities when I return home…I guess," Wabbaku said grudgingly, not really wanting them anywhere near his village but feeling he was obligated to invite them anyway out of politeness.

"We'll hold you to that," Jessie said. Wabbaku sweatdropped, wondering what he had just committed himself and his tribe to.

"I guess you wouldn't have pictures of your family or anything, since your tribe doesn't have much in the way of technology," James said.

"No, but I have some pictures our best artisan drew to commemorate some of the most cherished moments in our lives so far," Wabbaku said, pulling some pieces of parchment out of his pouch. They clustered around as he started showing them off one by one. "This one's a picture of our wedding…and there's me and Lucy with our first egg, moments after it was laid…and there's my eldest hatching, his name is Liechi, like the berry…and there's him playing with our first daughter, Hinbass, in the bath…"

The other Rockets oohed and awed. Who didn't like seeing cute baby pictures? "Hey, bring dose back here, I wanna see too!" Mickey cried.

None of them noticed Gardenia sobbing under her seat; feeling like her life was over.

…

Meanwhile, in Mt. Blaze…

Ignik Firebottom groaned and slammed his mug down on his brother's table. "Ah, that's the stuff…mon, did I have a bad day…"

"You were demoted again, huh?" Ignik's brother, a Monferno named Goku Firebottom, asked sympathetically.

Ignik nodded angrily. "I was bumped back all the way to Grunt! Ugh, I don't believe this…I didn't even do anything wrong this time! It's not my fault those crazies at Pokemon Square reacted the way they did and our commander lost his head…literally! So why do I keep getting punished? I swear; it's like the Monkey King enjoys humiliating me or something!"

"Gee, the insane tyrannical despot who kills people who disagree with him, conquers and enslaves innocent Pokemon, wants to wipe civilization off the face of the continent, is apparently becoming a _god_ and eats babies for brunch enjoys humiliating a subordinate. That's such a surprise," an Ampipom by the name of Ete said sarcastically as she placed two bowls of broth on the table. She had an iron collar around her neck and a flaming monkey paw branded on her shoulder to indicate she was a slave. Goku's, to be precise.

Ignik bristled. "Mind your tongue, wench! The reasons for the Monkey King's actions are none of your-" Goku cleared his throat in warning. Ignik quickly changed his tune. "I mean…um…I guess it's not that surprising when you put it that way." Ete gave him a look of irritation, grunted, and then went to pick things out of Goku's fur while he ate. Ignik fumed and started slurping up his meal, too. It seemed like his brother got all the luck. Goku was the younger of the two of them, yet he was a better fighter, had risen higher in the ranks of the Monkey King's horde, got his own quarters, his own slave…

And deserved _none_ of it, at least not in Ignik's opinion. While Ignik was a loyal servant of the King (well, as loyal as any barbarian could be, since all of them secretly wanted to be in charge but were for the most part too weak to claim the position for themselves) and the very model of a typical barbarian soldier, Goku was an anomaly. He didn't behave anything like the other barbarians did. While the other soldiers were drinking and carousing and raping, Goku was either shut up in his quarters or training. While other high-ranking warriors collected, traded, abused, and disposed of slaves at their leisure, Goku only kept the one and treated her—and pretty much any other slave, oddly enough—as if they were actual people, as if their defeat and subjugation at the paws of their betters hadn't stripped them of their Pokemonity. (In fact, Ignik suspected that Goku might have something to do with some of the slave escapes that had been going on in recent weeks, but had no way to prove it.) In addition to that, he expressed the belief—not in public, of course, that sort of thing would get him killed—that he wasn't certain their way of life was the right way they should be behaving, that the doctrine of absolute power and survival of the strong over the weak was outdated and unnecessary, that it might not actually be a bad thing if they tried building _cities_ like those soft-skinned 'civilized' Pokemon because it would be a more efficient use of resources and power and they wouldn't constantly have to keep attacking and raiding other people to sustain themselves. As far as Ignik knew, he was the only person Goku had told this to—though the Pokemon under Goku's own command might be harboring similar thoughts, since they were beginning to act more like their leader then their peers—and Ignik wasn't really sure what to do about it. By all rights, he should have reported Goku's treasonous thoughts by now, but…

Well, Goku was his brother. And while the two of them disagreed on many things, one of the few things they both believed in was the importance of family.

Still, there were times Ignik was tempted to turn his brother in anyway and get a rich reward, promotion, (and possibly Ete) out of it, and this was one of them. How was it that in spite of Goku's un-barbaric behavior and doubts towards their philosophy, he had managed to achieve—and _maintain_—a relatively stable and prestigious position? Nothing as high as general, of course, but still higher up than Ignik had ever managed to get, and he'd done it _without_ the requisite backstabbing, blackmail, and fighting it usually took to rise in rank, too! How did he do it? He had considered asking, but he wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer.

There was one thing he wanted to know the answer to, though. "All my misfortune began when I ran into Team Aurabolt…after they decimated the rest of my regiment but let me live to tell the tale, everything started going downhill for me. But…a few months ago, _you_ ran into Team Aurabolt and they spared you but decimated your regiment, and you got _promoted_. Why?"

Goku frowned and paused in his meal. A few months ago, he too had been involved in a skirmish with Team Aurabolt, one that had also ended as badly as Ignik's…however, he had been spared for a different reason than his brother, a reason he had told nobody but Ete. "…I think it's because we attacked first," he said while Ete continued grooming him. "We were on patrol, spotted them, and engaged them. It showed initiative. We lost, but it still showed initiative, and had some prestige attached to it for some reason. Courage or something like that. You, on the other hand, were ambushed and wiped out after wasting too much time trying to catch a single Rattata. You expended resources and monpower trying to catch a single escaped prisoner. If you had let him go, you would have been reprimanded but still received credit for the other captives you took. But by choosing to go after him…it sort of made you look like you were desperate for glory. And that got your subordinates killed."

"I was just trying to show how seriously I took my job!" Ignik protested. "And…okay, maybe I was a little overzealous in trying to prove myself. But if I had let him go, what would that have done to my reputation?"

"What reputation?" Ete snarked as she ate something she found in her master's fur.

Ignik glared at her. "I'm a soldier in the Monkey King's army. If word got out that I let people get away, nobody would ever take us seriously!"

"If you had let him go, however, he could have told everyone about all the horrible things you had done to his family, thus increasing everyone's fear of us," Goku pointed out.

"…Oh. I hadn't considered that," Ignik admitted.

Goku sighed. "Nobody seems to. It often feels like I'm the only person in this place with a cool head."

"Well, most of us are monkeys or Fire-types, what do you expect?" Ignik pointed out.

"That's true, but always attacking full-out, trying to match power against power with little forethought or strategy…it seems so pointless and short-sighted. Raw power can't win all the time," Goku said.

"Maybe not, but we're barbarians and that's the way we do things," Ignik said. "We rely on overwhelming strength, and leave thinking to the weaklings who believe building cities and going against nature is a good idea, the weaklings we inevitably destroy."

"Even if that sort of thinking eventually gets us all killed?" Goku asked.

Ignik shrugged. "Everyone dies eventually. And besides, it's worked for us so far."

"Yes, and now we have not just the denizens of one of those 'weak' towns planning to attack us in retribution for the towns we've destroyed and the people we've killed, but the ruler of one of the strongest empires on the planet as well," Goku pointed out. "Still think it's working well for us?"

"Ha, like they'll ever get through our new shield!" Ignik boasted.

"Ah, just like how the denizens of Pokemon Square believe we can't get through their shield, but we're supposed to have a way to do that in the near future?" Goku replied.

"Exactly!...Wait…" Ete snickered. Ignik glared at her.

Goku frowned. "Aren't you the slightest bit bothered that we've obtained such strange allies recently, ones who are even able to provide us with such a shield and possibly the method to destroy Pokemon Square's in the first place? I can almost understand us joining forces with other barbarians, even ones we've traditionally been enemies with, but…sorcerers? Nihilators? While I admit it's a change from our usual strategy of overwhelming power and full-on assaults, I'm not sure it's going to be any better for us in the long run…I don't think they can be trusted."

"Neither do I, to be honest," Ignik admitted. "But it's not our place to decide what we do or don't do. We're soldiers. We follow orders. It's the task of the King to decide what's best for us, and if he thinks it's best to ally with these strangers to become more powerful, then that's all there is to it."

"And if that alliance only destroys us in the end?" Goku pressed.

"Then…I dunno. I guess that's that," Ignik said uneasily. "I mean, hopefully it won't come to that, but if it does…what're we supposed to do? Like I said, we're just soldiers. In the long run, nothing we decide to do matters. Nature controls all of us. Eventually, we're all going to die anyway…because that, too, is what nature dictates, isn't it?"

"But _must_ we do things only because that is nature's will? How can we even interpret such a thing?" Goku asked. "How do we know that maybe _we_ aren't the ones in the wrong here, that our killing people and destroying civilizations isn't maintaining the natural order, but just something we tell ourselves so we don't have to admit that we're greedy, selfish, murderous monsters?"

Ignik gave him a strange look. "…Brother, you think too much. That sort of thing is dangerous. You know that."

"Yes, but I wonder for whom the danger truly really lies," Goku muttered. "Our ancestor Wukong believed as I do. That our way of life as plunderers and conquerors would only lead to our own destruction."

Ignik sighed. "What, Wukong again? Jeez, you've been obsessed with the guy ever since your slave there shouted his name when they were about to execute her, and you pulled rank to claim her for yourself to find out how she knew it."

"Ages ago, Wukong united the monkey tribes, just as Gal has now…but he did it through peace, rather than warfare," Ete said, glaring at Ignik. "My tribe was one who revered him, even though he ultimately failed. So should you, as his descendants."

"Yeah, the thing about that is…he _failed_. You said it yourself," Ignik pointed out. "Why should we emulate a failure when the way we've lived since then has worked fairly well for us so far?"

"It would have worked better for us if Wukong had succeeded," Goku said.

"Yeah, but he didn't, so we aren't, so why bother thinking about what might have been? This is how things are now, and there's nothing we can do about it…unless you do something stupid like try to challenge the Monkey King for control of the horde, but even you're not crazy enough to do that, right?" There was a pause. "Right?" he asked again, a desperate edge in his voice.

"No…more's the pity," Goku sighed. Ignik chose to pretend he hadn't heard that last part. "Ignik. You say you believe in our way, and in the power of the Monkey King."

Goku nodded. "Well, yeah, he's become even stronger than ever now that he's gotten the Red Orb. His body's even changed to match it! If he isn't a god by now, he's fast becoming one!"

"And do you think his power will be enough to save us from the wrath of Pokemon Square and the Draconian Empire?" Goku asked.

"Of course it will!" Ignik said.

"Even if they should penetrate our shield and attack us directly?" Goku pressed.

"That'll never happen," Ignik said.

"But if it did?" Goku asked.

"If it did…" Ignik hesitated. The proper response, the expected response, the thing any other soldier in Mt. Blaze would say was that of course it would, that they were superior to any weakling civilized Pokemon, that they would crush any who opposed them and feasted on their entrails, that to consider anything else was preposterous.

But most of the soldiers in Mt. Blaze had not stood at the gates of Pokemon Square, had not seen Aaron tear off their commander's head, had not seen every citizen in town react to the death, imprisonment, and betrayal of their greatest heroes with rage rather than despair. They had not looked into the eyes of those 'weak' Pokemon and seen their utter determination to make them pay, and their complete confidence that they would be able to do it. "I…don't know," he admitted.

Goku regarded him for a moment. Ete paused in her grooming. "What is it that you saw when you went to present them with the Alakazam's head, Ignik? Once you would have told me with absolute certainty that we couldn't fail. What has changed?"

"What's changed is…is…" He swallowed, again recalling the look of hatred, and again, confidence, in those eyes. Even the children had those eyes. Even the Rattata that he'd ruined his career over had those eyes, a far cry from the small terrified helpless thing he'd chased halfway across the continent several weeks ago. "I think…I think I'm starting to understand why no army has ever taken their city. Why they have the best warriors on the continent. Why…why you seem to respect them so much."

"Then do you think they will win?" Goku asked.

"…I really don't know," Ignik whispered. He clutched his hands to stop them from trembling. "But…Goku…if they do win…they'll kill us. You know that, right? I know you seem to be…_interested_ in some reason, but…they'll kill you and me and every one of us. Well, except maybe for her," he said, pointing to Ete. She huffed.

"They _may_ kill us," Goku said, steepling his fingers. "Then again…they might not."

"What do you mean?" Ignik asked suspiciously. Goku smirked, but said nothing. Ignik sighed. "Fine. Whatever. I'm not sure I really want to know. I should get going, anyway. I don't think I have much of an appetite anymore." He stood up, and then hesitated. "But, uh, hypothetically speaking, if you _do_ figure a way out of this…"

Goku raised an eyebrow. "Yes? Do you want in? Assuming there _is_ a way out, hypothetically speaking?"

"…Let me think about it," Ignik muttered. "I'll let you know." He left the room.

"Can he be relied on, do you think?" Ete asked once he was gone.

"Can we rely on him to keep quiet? Most certainly. He has not told on me this far, so he will not now. Can we rely on him to help us? Probably not," Goku said. "But I will try to save him anyway…because he is my brother."

Ete nodded. "A sentiment worthy of Wukong, even if he is not deserving of your loyalty…which makes your insistence to save him anyway all the more admirable."

Goku smirked. "I'm glad you think so." He rose to his feet and walked to a shelf on the wall. He slid some pots aside and opened a secret compartment hidden in the wall behind them, withdrawing a small box from within. He opened it and smiled at the Rescue Team badge and scarf nestled inside. "When Pokemon Square and the Empire comes for us…they may find their way easier than expected…"

…

And that's that. Another layer of intrigue has been added to this story. Several, actually. And several more may be revealed next chapter, when we finally learn who Sasha's master is, and what he's after…

In the meantime, you have this to tide you over. Tiny's been cured, and Pokemon Square's mounting up for war. Not bad, huh? What do you expect will happen next?

And what's been happening to Gardevoir, who did not appear this chapter?

Find out next time…


	43. Secrets of the dark

After the exciting opening of Tiny's heart, you're probably wondering what I can do to make this chapter even more interesting than the last one. Well, I've got news for you! The truth about Sasha's master and why she joined Team Aurabolt will finally be revealed, though her friends might not be so happy with her once they know the truth. If that sort of thing doesn't interest you, don't worry, we're almost done with the 'filler' leading up to the meat of the Zero Isle arc…as well as the epic battle for Mt. Blaze!

This chapter is VERY long, one of the longest I've ever written for any story, but considering that it's the celebration of this story's second anniversary, I figured, why not celebrate with a double-length chapter jam-packed with the humor, drama, romance, mind screws, and high-octane nightmare fuel you've come to expect from me?

I wonder if the _third_ anniversary will be even bigger than this…oy. I hope you stick with me until then, because I certainly intend to keep at it until this story's done, no matter how long it takes! So with that, read on…and happy anniversary!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

It was the third day of the _Peeko XI's_ voyage to Zero Isle. So far, the trip had been rather uneventful, even dull—save for Tiny's purification and the sea monster attack the previous day-much as Briney had warned them, so everyone had been forced to find something to do to keep themselves occupied. Briney was holed up in the cockpit driving the boat and surreptitiously spying on everyone else, Sasha was snoozing on the deck while Ash tried to teach Tiny Aura nearby, Dawn and Pikachu were sparring on the boat's bow, and Leo and Lily were having an…uncomfortable conversation.

"So…love," Leo said, an anxious look on his face. "That's what you want to hear about?"

Lily nodded. "Yesterday you told me about sex, which is something you promised to get around to eventually. You also promised you would tell me about love someday, so now I want to hear about that, please. Um…it'll be less…disgusting than what you told me yesterday, won't it?"

"I hope so," Leo said. He frowned. "Love, huh? Well…all right, I knew we were going to get to this sooner or later. I'll give you the textbook definition first. According to Bulbapedia, 'Love is any of a number of emotions related to a sense of strong affection and attachment. The word _love_ can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from generic pleasure ("I loved that meal") to intense interpersonal attraction ("I love my wife"). This diversity of uses and meanings, combined with the complexity of the feelings involved, makes love unusually difficult to consistently define, even compared to other emotional states. As an abstract concept, _love_ usually refers to a deep, ineffable feeling of tenderly caring for another person. Even this limited conception of love, however, encompasses a wealth of different feelings, from the passionate desire and intimacy of romantic love to the nonsexual emotional closeness of familial and platonic love to the profound oneness or devotion of religious love. Love in its various forms acts as a major facilitator of interpersonal relationships and, owing to its central psychological importance, is one of the most common themes in the creative arts.'"

Lily stared at him in astonishment as he gasped for air, having said all that in one breath. "Did you memorize all that?"

"Like I said," he wheezed. "I knew you were going to ask about it sooner or later. But that probably doesn't answer your question, does it?"

"No, not entirely," Lily agreed. "But from what you just said, it sounds as if love exists in many forms, and is very difficult to put a label on."

Leo nodded. "That's right. You already have experienced or are aware of at least a few kinds of love, though. For instance, you're friends with all of us. That's a form of love."

"It is?" Lily asked, looking surprised.

"Sure. You care very deeply for all of us. The simplest definition of love is a strong sense of affection and attachment, which you definitely have for us. You get rather violent and upset at the thought of losing us, and will do everything you can to help us and keep us safe. That's one form of love right there," Leo said.

"I had no idea…" Lily whispered, eyes wide in wonder.

Leo nodded. "Now, another kind of love you've witnessed is familial love, the love between siblings and parents and kids and so on. Although Ash and Pikachu fight a lot, it's plain to see that they care a lot about each other and would die rather than let one another get killed. That's because they're brothers. Similarly, Ash and Tiny love each other because they're father and son, albeit adopted father and adopted son. It's blatantly obvious how much they care about each other. The fact that Ash has such strong connections with Tiny, Pikachu, and his family back home, just shows how strong love is…if it can bind people who aren't even related by blood to each other as family. I like to think we're a sort of family too, the concept I've mentioned before called 'nakama,' where a group of friends is so close to each other that they're practically family."

"So that is love too?" Lily murmured. "But…then…my mother and sister…why…"

"…Not every family loves each other," Leo admitted. "It's an ideal, yeah, but not one that's always lived up to. Though, if it's any consolation, some people say hate is the other side of love rather than its opposite, so…"

"So they hurt me because they loved me that much? That's a wonderful consolation," Lily said bitterly.

Leo winced. She was learning sarcasm faster than he had expected. "That's just one opinion, I didn't say that's how it really is. And besides…even if you never got love from them, you have it from us. Like you told Tiny yesterday…we're your family."

Lily nodded, brightening up a little. "That's true. I hadn't realized love could be so simple and ubiquitous, or that I was already experiencing it!"

"Yeah, it's always closer than you think it is," Leo said. "But while you're probably happy to know that you already know what love is—to an extent—that still doesn't answer your biggest question, right? You want to know about the kind of love between a mon and a womon-or a mon and a mon or a womon and a womon—that leads to them forming a lasting attachment to each other and spending the rest of their lives together."

Lily nodded. "That's right."

"Well, that sort of love is really tricky to explain. There's some element of chemicals, some element of psychology, and some element of…I dunno, magic or something…that makes that sort of love work," Leo said. "It's something way stronger than just _liking_ someone, as you do for most of us. It's like…like you're friends with someone, but you're also attracted to them, too."

"…You mean…sexually?" Lily asked uneasily.

"Not necessarily," Leo said quickly. "Like I said, love and sex are related, but not always connected. (At least, not at first.) When I mean attraction, I mean…like, there's an aspect of their personality—or looks—that appeals to you, that enamors you, something that draws you in and makes you want to spend more time with them, to get to know them better. And then, once you _do_ know them better, you want to spend even more time with them. To stay with them. To revel in their triumphs, to commiserate in their sorrows. To stay with them and care with them. You feel happy when they're with you, and sad when they're gone, maybe even like a piece of yourself is missing with them. You care for them deeply and want them to be happy, even if sometimes it means you need to sacrifice your own happiness to achieve it. You want whatever's between you to be permanent…and, if possible, even stronger than that. Maybe even to have kids one day. And, even if they die or go away, and you maybe find somebody else someday—because nowhere does it say you only have to love a single person for your entire life—some part of you will never stop loving that other Pokemon. Does that help at all? I'm sorry if I'm sounding vague, but love's pretty hard to encapsulate…it's often easier to describe love by what it _isn't_ then what it is."

"And what isn't it?" Lily asked.

"It's a general expression of positive sentiment, so it's not hate or general apathy. It's a less sexual and more emotionally intimate form of attachment, so it's not lust. It's an interpersonal relationship with romantic overtones, so it's not friendship, or at least, not _just_ friendship. Does any of this make sense?" Leo asked.

"…Maybe a little," Lily said after a moment. She frowned in thought. "Leo. How do…how do I know if _I'm_ in love?"

Leo's heart skipped a beat. "I'm…not sure that's something another person can tell you. I mean, yes, we tell Ash that he's in love with Misty and Pikachu that he's got a thing for Dawn, but until they admit it to themselves they don't know they're in love. It's something they have to figure out for themselves."

"How do you know that Ash loves Misty and Pikachu loves Dawn? How do you know they aren't correct in their denials?" Lily asked.

"Well, I suppose it is a bit too soon to say Pikachu is in love with Dawn, but I'm pretty sure he's attracted to her," Leo admitted. "The fact that they've kissed once or twice, and clearly enjoyed it, counts, as does the fact that they're both rather similar in that they're somewhat rigid warriors adhering to strict codes of honor. They respect each other and to an extent admire each other because of that, even if the way their codes work isn't always the same. In addition, Dawn is clearly very devoted to Pikachu and will do anything to protect him. While that could just be seen as standard ninja loyalty, the way she acts around him—and some of the interactions we've seen between them both in the real world and inside her heart—indicates to me that she's into him to a degree, and if their relationship is allowed to flourish and strengthen over time it's possible for the tension between them to manifest as genuine mutual love. At least, that's what I think. And as for Ash…" Leo grinned. "He'll deny it until he's bluer in the face, but it's pretty obvious he's smitten with Misty. Everyone can see it…from the way his face lights up when he talks about her, how _nostalgic _he sounds when he describes all the fights and arguments they've had, how absolutely certain he is that she isn't dead…and the look of heartbreak you can see when, in very rare moments, he acknowledges the very real possibility that he might never see her again. There's also the fact that he's had three kids with her now, and they call both of them parents, something neither of them really disputes. I mean, yeah, you can be married and have kids and not love each other, but…yeah, I'm pretty positive she's the only womon he wants. Even if he doesn't talk about it much, it's plain to see…while he wants to take down the Nihilators to save the world; he also wants to do it to save _her._ That's what love is."

"…And…if she _were_ dead…would Ash turn out like Briney?" Lily asked, glancing at the cockpit where the Metang resided.

"Considering what we saw in his flashbacks, he may turn out worse," Leo admitted. "Seeing as how Briney's capable of controlling himself and all. But that's a good comparison, Lily…it's obvious how strong Briney's love for Peeko is given that he's spent the last ten years on a quest of revenge for her death, actually put one of her _eyes_ in his head, has never touched another womon since then, and named and designed his boat to look like her. Eleven times. It borders a little on obsession, yeah, but it also shows just how much he loved her…and how much he's hurting, if he's allowed her death to define pretty much every moment of his life since then." He smiled sadly. "You know, even if he has done a lot of good, intentional or not, by harrying the Nihilators for this long, I bet he'd give it all up in a heartbeat if he could see Peeko just one more time…because that, too, is what love is, Lily. Sacrificing everything for the person your heart desires." He glanced at Lily shyly. "Did that, uh, help you know if you're in love or not?"

"No, but…I think I know what might," Lily said, an odd look on her face.

Leo blinked. "Huh? What do you-" Abruptly, the Misdreavus flew past him towards the cockpit. "Hey, you can't go up there! Briney'll glare at you until you break down and leave! He's done it to me dozens of times!"

"He might not when he hears what I have to say!" Lily called back. Leo frowned and scratched his head, wondering what she was talking about. Lily paused in front of the open door to the cockpit. "Captain, I'd like to ask you-"

"The answer is no," Briney said brusquely.

Lily blinked. "But I haven't even asked you yet!"

"You didn't have to. I'm Psychic, remember? I knew what you were planning almost before you did," Briney grunted. "And the answer is no."

"Oh," Lily said, looking crestfallen. "But…why? I would have thought…"

Briney sighed, relenting somewhat. "I'm sorry, lass. It's not that I don't appreciate the thought, it's just that I don't think it'll work. You don't think I've tried that before? I've spoken to every necromancer, priest, fortune teller, gypsy, medium, channeler, ouija board, Ghost, and just about everyone else I could think of. None of them were able to reach Peeko on the other side. And while I'm sure there's more than a few spells in that book of yours that can force the souls of the dead back to the world of the living against their will…I don't want to see Peeko again badly enough to tear her away from whatever afterlife she's in, especially if she's so happy there she doesn't-" He stopped himself.

"Doesn't come when you call for her?" Lily asked quietly.

"…Aye," Briney said softly, staring straight ahead at the distant horizon. "So, thanks but no thanks, lass. I'm touched by the offer, but I don't want to try your magic because…if it fails, I'll only be disappointed again, and if it succeeds, I…" He shuddered. "I don't know what I could say…to possibly make up for my failure to protect her."

"…I'm sorry," Lily said.

"It's all right," Briney said, recovering his composure. "I appreciate your concern. But the fact of the matter is…not all spirits can be called back. That's just the way it is."

"I would not be so sure," someone said from behind them. The witch and the sailor whirled around in surprise to find Sasha standing on the stairs leading to the cockpit. "Captain, you said that you tried to contact your wife through a variety of sources. How many of them were High Priestesses of Darkrai?"

Lily gasped. Ash and Tiny paused in their training and glanced over in surprise. Leo blinked. Briney narrowed his eye. "What are you getting at, womon?"

Sasha took a deep breath, aware of everyone's eyes on her. "Everybody…there's something I've been meaning to tell you. Something that's been a long time coming…"

…

A little later, once everyone had reconvened on the deck, Sasha began her story. "Everyone knows that Absol can sense when disasters are coming, or _might_ come, which is why many settlements are not always happy to have us around…because the less experienced of us often have trouble telling the difference between a possibility and a certainty, and too often give false alarms. I cannot explain how exactly this sense works, but it gauges a threat based on two factors: its potential for causing disaster, and its probability for causing disaster."

"What's the difference?" Pikachu asked.

"Potential is how bad a disaster would be, while probability is its likelihood of occurring," Sasha explained. "For instance, Ash, now that certain…powers are stirring within you, your potential for causing a disaster has increased significantly. However, your probability of doing so is low. So long as you maintain control over yourself, you will not pose a threat to the rest of us."

Ash fidgeted anxiously, and Tiny put a reassuring hand on his leg. Dawn frowned. _Why are you telling us this?_

"So that you will understand how it is that I knew, with absolute certainty…that my child was going to die," Sasha said softly.

Everyone blinked in surprise. "I thought all your kids are alive," said the confused Ash.

"They are," Sasha said, closing her eyes. "Now. But many years ago, it did not look as if that would be the case. You see, since we Absol can sense disasters, both the chances of one happening and how bad it might be…that means we also know, without a doubt, when it is that we are going to die."

"That's…kind of creepy," said a disturbed Ash.

"So you know right now when you're going to die?" Tiny asked.

Sasha nodded. "Yes."

"Whoa," said Leo.

_How will it happen?_ asked Dawn.

"That is not something I wish to discuss," Sasha said flatly.

"Do you know…when _we_ are going to die?" Lily asked.

Sasha looked at them for a moment. "No," she said. They sighed in relief, until she continued, "The probability for something like that hasn't risen to a hundred percent yet. When it has, or is close, it means you're very likely and undoubtedly going to die."

"…Ah," Pikachu said after a long moment. Everyone had disturbed looks on their faces.

"I could tell you when you're getting close to that point, if you like," Sasha offered.

"Would we be able to keep it from happening if you did?" Briney asked.

"Probably not," Sasha said.

"Then I think we'd be better off not knowing," Briney said. The others nodded in agreement, except for Dawn, who would have actually liked to know that piece of information, so that she could learn how much time she had left to kill Paul. And possibly do…other things.

Sasha shrugged. "Suit yourself."

"So you knew that one of your kids was going to die because of this ability?" Ash asked.

Sasha nodded. "It certainly seemed that way."

_What happened to it that put it in such a state?_ Dawn asked.

"And what does this have to do with your big secret?" Briney asked.

"Or being a High Priestess of Darkrai, whatever that is?" Tiny asked.

"I'm getting to it," Sasha said. "Many decades ago, my mate and I had our first child. We rejoiced, for we had been trying for a number of years to have one with little success, due to the low birth rate among my species. When the egg hatched, we immediately fell in love with our new son, and named him Nicky after my grandfather. We were happy, for a time...but then…winter fell. It was a bad winter, one of the worst I have ever seen in my long life. Food was very scarce. Nicky took badly sick…and my mate and I knew that he was going to die. There were no towns where we lived. No Pokemon Centers and Nurse Joys to heal hurts, no heaters or houses to provide shelter from the cold. There was no way we could save him or fix what was wrong. Our disaster sense was telling us his end was near. My mate nearly suggested we…end his suffering, but he did not. Which is good, because if he had…I think I would have killed him then and there."

"…You can be kind of scary sometimes, Sasha," Ash said.

"Yeah, really," Leo said.

"I would have done it," Lily said.

Everyone stared at her. "Why?" Pikachu asked after a moment.

"Well, if it would have stopped him from hurting anymore…" Lily said. "And if he came back as a Ghost, he wouldn't have to worry about pain so much anymore, would he?"

"…That's one way of looking at it, I suppose," Briney grunted. Sasha frowned. Tiny slowly scooted to the other side of Ash so he was between him and Lily.

_Since you did not kill him, what did you do instead?_ Dawn asked.

"We made him as comfortable as we could and waited for the end," Sasha said. "We did not bother trying to reassure him, because he knew he was dying too…and was terrified. But there was nothing we could do but wait…and grieve, since with Nicky went many of our hopes for a future. Given the birth rate among our kind, the chances of me producing another child were slim to none, at least for another decade or two."

"…That's very sad," Ash said quietly.

"Damn…that's depressing," Leo muttered.

"But…but Nicky lived! You said he did!" Tiny spoke up.

Sasha nodded. "That's right, he did."

"But…how? Didn't you just say it was absolutely certain he was going to die?" the confused Pikachu asked.

"Did he come back as a Ghost after all?" Lily asked.

Sasha shook her head. "No. What happened was far stranger than that…eventually, as the hour of his death grew nearer and his fever worsened, Nicky passed out from the pain. My mate fell asleep, exhausted and overstressed from everything that had happened so far. And I…I could not sleep. I dared not sleep, since I did not want my little boy to pass away without my knowing it. So I was awake when Nicky breathed his last…and when, not even a second later, Darkrai came to claim his soul."

They gasped at this. "You saw Darkrai himself?" Pikachu cried in astonishment.

"Duuude," said Leo.

"Didn't think he'd merit a dying Absol kid worth a visit in person," Briney commented.

"I've heard such a thing was possible, but very rare," Lily said, astounded that she was in the presence of someone who'd managed to do the unthinkable and see Death as he came to do his duty.

"Darkrai…" Ash murmured, clenching a fist as he remembered what had happened the last time he had seen Darkrai. Tiny gave him a worried look.

_You met the god of death himself?_ Asked the awestruck Dawn.

Sasha nodded. "My desperation to be with my son in his final moments gave me the strength to see the specter of Death himself when he came for Nicky…a pitch-black patch of night, darker than the darkness itself…there was no mistaking him for anything but Darkrai, lord of death, darkness, and dire dreams."

"And the dark side of the Moon," Lily added.

"Yes, that too," Sasha said.

"So…what did you do? Did you fight him?" Pikachu asked.

Sasha shook his head. "To fight Death? No, I knew something like that would be futile."

"It wasn't so futile when Ash did it," Leo commented.

Ash winced. "Do you have to keep bringing that up?"

Tiny frowned. "Yeah, really Leo?"

Leo shrugged. "Sorry, it's not the sort of thing a guy forgets."

"If you didn't fight him, what did you do?" Pikachu asked.

"I did the only thing a mother could do in a situation like that: I offered my life in place of Nicky's," Sasha said. "So that he would live, and I would die instead."

Leo nodded. "Right, balancing death's books. I've heard of that sort of thing before."

_You have?_ Dawn asked.

"Sure, it's in stories all the time," Leo said. "Another example of the power of love."

"My Mommy would have done that…right, Daddy?" Tiny asked Ash.

Ash nodded. "If what we saw of her in your memory is anything to go by, definitely!"

Lily frowned. "My mother wouldn't have…"

"Seeing as you're still here, I'm guessing Darkrai refused the bargain?" Briney guessed.

Sasha shook her head. "No, he accepted…just not the way I expected him to. He claimed my life…but rather than killing me, he made it his own. In return for sparing Nicky, I was now his servant, my life no longer my own. I was to do as he commanded and carry out certain…'tasks' he would require of me from time to time. I told him that sounded like slavery, but he said that's what being a priestess to a god sometimes entailed."

"Sounds sort of like the arrangement Pikachu has with Dawn," Ash commented.

"Yeah, except for the fact that I'm not a god of death and there's no magically binding contract between us," Pikachu said.

Dawn shrugged. _We don't need one. The one between us is good enough as it is._ Pikachu sweatdropped and Leo snickered.

"What sorts of 'tasks' did Darkrai require of you?" Briney asked.

"He didn't say at the time, just told me that he would let me know when he needed me. He left, and soon after the sun rose and Nicky started breathing again. My mate was elated when he woke up and discovered our son was still alive and would make it…and somewhat less so when he found out what the price had been," Sasha said. "However, when Darkrai never reappeared to demand anything of me and none of our senses picked up any particularly dire portents in the future, we slowly started to relax and focused on raising our son instead. Much to our surprise, only a few years after the incident, I wound up giving birth again, something almost unheard of in my species, at least not so soon after my first child. And there were more to come after that, though still spaced apart by a number of years. We chalked it up to divine favor and decided to enjoy it while it lasted, since we were almost certain the Hammer Arm would fall eventually."

"That's certainly a gloomy outlook on life," Pikachu commented.

"When you're a Pokemon who's always aware of just how easy it is for things to go horribly wrong and is the first to know when they _do_ go wrong, it's easy to fall into a relatively pessimistic mindset," Sasha said flatly.

"She has a point," Leo admitted.

_So when did it fall?_ Dawn asked.

"Not for a rather long time, actually. I lived with my mate and raised my children for several decades with little out of the ordinary occurring," Sasha said. "In fact, I had almost forgotten about my promise to Darkrai…until several months ago, when he appeared in a dream and told me to intercept a Lucario and a Pikachu before Articuno could kill them and guide them to the Ninetales enchantress of Mt. Chill."

Pikachu stiffened. "Wait a minute. You mean-"

Sasha nodded. "That's right. The reason I joined your team when you were on the run from Pokemon Square was because Darkrai told me to."

A pin dropping could have been heard in the silence that fell as everyone processed this. "Wait, what?" Leo cried.

"Oh my," said Lily.

"Didn't see that coming," Briney grunted.

"But…but you said you came to help us because your disaster-sense told you that I was crucial to stopping all of the problems going on at the time," Ash protested, shocked.

"I wasn't entirely lying. Darkrai told me that I needed to make sure you stayed alive long enough to put an end to the problems facing Kanjohenn at the time. And…" Sasha hesitated. "That wasn't the only reason I joined you. He also told me that, if you showed any signs of losing control or going insane as a result of the stress from your adopted town rejecting you and actively trying to hunt down and kill you…that _I_ should kill you. He did not say why, only that the fate of the planet might depend on it."

They stared at her in disbelief. "…You were going to _kill_ Daddy?" Tiny cried in horror.

"Only if it looked like he was going to become a monster, which thankfully did not occur," Sasha said.

"Wait a minute…you mean to tell me that all this time we thought you were our friend, when you've really been spying on us, planning to stab us in the back at a moment's notice?" Pikachu cried, shocked.

"I _am_ your friend," Sasha insisted. "I just also happen to be working for an entity who wants to keep close tabs on you. And I was never going to stab all of you in the back…just Ash. If he started turning into a Void Pokemon. And I would probably aim for his neck rather than his back." Pikachu facepalmed, while Dawn nodded, approving of Sasha's choice for a target. Ash would be more likely to die if his throat were cut than if something were driven into his back, what with his metal-reinforced bones and all.

Ash had turned pale with horror. "Am I so dangerous that even the god of death is afraid of what I might become?"

"Well, considering that you killed the guy and his wife in a past life, he may have a reason to be worried," Leo pointed out. Ash and Tiny glared at him.

"And let me guess, the reason you're part of the team now is because Darkrai wanted you to keep an eye on Ash again?" Briney asked.

Sasha nodded. "He told me to go to Battlus to meet someone…though he didn't tell me at the time it was my friends in Team Aurabolt. Only later did he clarify that he wanted me to observe you all again…and, once more, make sure Ash didn't do anything…catastrophic."

"Unbelievable…" Pikachu said angrily.

"I don't…I don't know how to feel about this," said an upset Lily. "We trusted you, and all this time you've been hiding this from us?"

"Well, I didn't really have a choice," Sasha said. "Darkrai told me not to tell you, and he's not exactly the sort of deity you argue with when he gives an order."

"She's got a point there," Leo said grudgingly.

"And it's not as if I actually lied. I told you back in Battlus I had something to hide," Sasha reminded them. "And I told you that I would reveal it to you eventually. I even said as much again the night before we left Treasure Town, didn't I?"

"…I suppose," Pikachu said reluctantly.

_And Darkrai's given you leave to tell us this now?_ Dawn asked.

Sasha nodded. "That is correct. He also wishes to speak with you. He said that using Lily's magic and my position as one of his servants, we can summon him here."

Tiny frowned. "He wants to talk to us? About what?"

"He sent me to monitor you all for a reason. Other than to take out Ash if he lost control, that is," Sasha said, causing Ash to flinch. "You are allied against the Nihilators…so is he. I do not know his reasons, but he vehemently wishes their destruction…but for whatever reason, is unable to act against them himself. By sending me to you as his proxy, however, he can have a hand in their eventual downfall at our claws."

"…So, wait, you're saying your joining us is part of a dark god's plan to defeat the Nihilators?" Lily asked.

"And considering that the Nihilators have a dark god or two of their own on their side, does that mean we're all nothing more than pawns in some war between deities?" Pikachu asked with a frown.

"Isn't that what we all are anyway?" Leo asked. "You're a strong believer in destiny, aren't you? Isn't that what destiny means half the time?"

"I suppose…" Pikachu said reluctantly.

"If Darkrai wants to tell us what to do, I can tell him where to shove it," Briney growled. "No mon is Briney's master…not even the god of death himself!"

_You'd really pick a fight with Darkrai?_ asked an amazed Dawn.

Briney snorted. "What, are you saying I'd _lose_ or something?"

They considered that for a moment. "It…might be pretty close, actually," Ash admitted.

"Yeah, if Darkrai came for you, Captain, he'd probably want to wait until you were sleeping. And sick. And blind and deaf and missing a limb or two. And even then, it would be more than a little difficult," Leo said.

"Damn straight," Briney grunted.

"You misunderstand. Darkrai does not wish to control us. What we're doing now is good enough for him," Sasha explained. "But he feels it's time he clarified a few matters, so we will have fewer uncertainties when the time comes for us to battle the Nihilators on their own turf. He also said that he might be able to tell us a number of things we would otherwise have no other way of knowing…the answers to many of our heart's desires. Many secrets are only spoken of in the dark, after all…and Darkrai hears all of those."

Most of the heroes perked up at this. "Then…he might know how to break my curse?" Lily asked hopefully.

"Or where my Mommy is?" Tiny asked.

"Or how I can keep myself from turning into a Void Pokemon and killing everyone?" Ash asked.

"Or how I can live forever?" Leo asked.

"Or…or let me speak to…to Peeko?" Briney asked.

Sasha nodded. "I believe so, yes."

"Then what're we waiting for? Let's dial him up and bring him down!" Leo said eagerly.

"Hold on," Pikachu interjected. "While I would like to learn more about what the Nihilators are up to as much as anyone else, don't we still have to deal with the little fact that Sasha's deceived us all this time and has been waiting to kill Ash if he were to ever lose control of himself? How are we supposed to trust her again after learning all this?"

"We trust Briney and he's said repeatedly he'll kill Ash if he were to ever snap," Lily said. "And he's always poking around in our minds. Sasha, however, has been polite enough to refrain from doing anything like that."

"That's right, completely unlike me," Briney agreed.

"Yes, but Briney's also upfront about everything, whereas Sasha's been hiding this from us all this time!" Pikachu argued. "Not to mention she doesn't spy on our thoughts because she's incapable of it, not because she chooses not to."

"The only reason I've hidden this from you is because Darkrai told me to. If I had been able to, I would have told you of this a long time ago," Sasha insisted. "I do not know if you will ever be able to trust me again now that you know the truth, but…at least know this: I am and always have been your friend. And no matter whom I serve…my loyalty remains with you all. Or did you think I wore my badge lightly? When I took the vow to become part of your team, I meant every word of it. I still do."

They considered this for a moment. "Well, I'm convinced," Leo said.

"So am I," Lily decided.

"Works for me too," Briney said. "So long as Darkrai doesn't order her to do anything else untoward."

_I can understand where you are coming from. I know what it's like to have multiple loyalties as well. I will continue to put my faith in you,_ Dawn clicked.

"While I'm not happy that you've kept this from us, I'm glad that you came clean now," Ash said. "And while I'm not exactly pleased that Darkrai sent you to basically kill me should something go wrong, I'm slightly gratified to know there's yet another safeguard in place to keep me from killing countless innocents if I ever do snap."

"…I don't know if I can trust you if you really intend to kill Daddy, no matter what your intentions," Tiny said with a glare. "But if Daddy's willing to let it slide…I guess I can, too. For now."

Pikachu sighed, relenting when he saw how everyone else had already made up their minds. "I'm not sure we should be letting you off the hook so easily, but…you've been a trustworthy and reliable member of the team for this long, despite being…well, a double agent. I guess we can give you the benefit of the doubt…again…" He frowned. "But make one thing clear first. There's nothing _else_ you're hiding from us, is there?"

"No," Sasha said. She paused. "Well…"

Pikachu frowned. "What is it?"

"It's probably not important…" Sasha said.

"Oh, which means it must actually be very important and you should tell us right away," Lily said.

Leo nodded admiringly. "You're learning!"

"Spill it," Briney prompted.

Sasha shrugged. "Very well. Ever since Mt. Battle, there have been nights where I have experienced…visitations in my sleep."

They looked at her dubiously. _You mean someone has been coming to you while you slept and-_ Dawn started.

"No, no, not like that!" Sasha said quickly, as Lily blanched, now having enough of a grasp of innuendo thanks to Leo to know what Dawn had meant. "I mean…in my dreams. Usually, the only person who is ever capable of coming to me and speaking to me in dreams is Darkrai. But some nights, I have felt…something else. A presence. Someone trying to reach me, from very far away."

They frowned at this. "That's unusual," Ash commented.

"It is?" Tiny asked.

"Yeah, especially since she's a Dark-type so shouldn't be able to receive _any_ messages in her sleep," Briney said.

"Well, except from Darkrai, since he's her boss and the lord of nightmares," Leo said.

"And Cresselia," Lily added.

"Isn't she Psychic?" Ash recalled.

"Yes, but she's the goddess of good dreams, so she can go into anyone's subconscious, even Dark-types," Lily said.

_Were you being contacted by Cresselia, then?_ Dawn asked.

Sasha shook her head. "No. Neither Darkrai or myself had any idea who it was or how this person was able to get into my dreams. Darkrai too believed he was the only one who could enter them."

"So not even Darkrai knows who's responsible? That's disturbing…" Pikachu muttered.

"Actually, he said in one of his most recent communications with me that he was investigating the matter, found out who was doing it, and…took care of it," Sasha said.

They exchanged uneasy looks. "I don't like the sound of that…" Ash murmured.

"Does that mean whoever it is is…dead?" Tiny asked timidly.

"I don't think so…" Sasha said uncertainly. "That might be something else he discusses when we speak to him. I don't know anything other than that, though. Perhaps Darkrai will explain it when we speak to him. Perhaps not. He is…not always the most forthcoming of individuals."

"And in spite of that, he's still willing to give us some information…and possibly reunite me with Peeko…" Briney murmured.

Ash shrugged. "I suppose we'll find out when we talk to him."

"So, how do we get in touch with Darkrai?" Pikachu asked.

"She will need one of my spells," Lily said, pulling out her spellbook. "I know a variety of rituals that can summon spirits and demons…and there's also a spell that can be used to call forth Death itself, or a shadow of it, anyway."

"Ooh, you mean the Rite of AshkDrkri?"Leo asked.

"Oh, you know about that?" Lily asked in surprise.

"It's the one where you use three small sticks of equal length, 4 cc of mouse blood, dribbly candles, and some glitter, right?" Leo said.

"Yes, that's it exactly!" said the impressed Lily.

Pikachu blinked. "Wait, what was that about mouse blood?"

"There's a spell that can summon Death?" Ash asked, ignoring Pikachu.

"Yes, but it can result in instant death if you're not careful," Lily said.

_Which makes perfect sense, given who you're trying to summon_, Dawn said.

"Um, could somebody elaborate on the mouse blood thing?" Pikachu asked.

"That sounds dangerous," said the alarmed Tiny.

"Not so long as I am present," Sasha assured him. "Since I am a servant of Darkrai, the summoning ritual should work perfectly, with none of us having to worry about losing our lives. Though we may suffer rather nasty nightmares for a few nights as a side-effect, but Darkrai can't really help that, it's just something that happens wherever he goes."

"Ah," Tiny said, not looking entirely reassured. He didn't want to die, but he didn't like nightmares either.

"What are we waiting for? Let's get started!" Briney said with uncharacteristic eagerness.

"Mouse blood?" Pikachu inquired loudly.

"Don't we have to wait for nightfall or something? I mean, he _is_ the god of darkness and all," Ash pointed out.

"Yes, but he's also the god of death, and death isn't stopped by something as simple as daylight," Sasha reminded him.

"Oh. Good point," Ash said.

"The Rite can be performed at any time of day. We can perform it as soon as we get all the ingredients ready, in fact," Lily said, checking her spellbook.

"Then it's a good thing I just happen to have almost everything we need here in my shell! I brought it in case of just such an occasion," Leo announced.

"Would you happen to have mouse blood, too?" Pikachu asked hopefully.

"No, we're going to need to get some fresh from you," Lily said.

Pikachu's face fell. "That's what I was afraid of…"

…

A little later…

After they had, with some difficulty, managed to extract 4 cc of blood from Pikachu, the team gathered in the _Peeko's_ main cabin to perform the Rite of AshkDrkri. Pikachu rubbed the new bandage on his arm and glared at the others resentfully as Lily carefully laid the three equal-length sticks on top of the triangle that had been in drawn in blood on the cabin's small breakfast table. A single candle sat in the middle of the triangle, surrounded by numerous mystic sigils and other complex magical diagrams also drawn in Pikachu's blood, with glitter scattered all around it. "So, how much of this stuff is actually necessary and how much is just for show?" Leo asked.

"I'm not really sure, to be honest," Lily admitted. "My book says it can probably be done without most of this stuff, but all the ingredients should be used to maximize the chances of success."

"Wait, then we might not have needed my blood after all?" Pikachu cried in disbelief.

"Why are you complaining? It was only 4 cc," Ash said.

"Yes, of _my_ blood! You know I hate needles…" Pikachu grumbled. "And why didn't you stop them? I thought you were supposed to protect me!" he said to Dawn.

_I'm sorry, Master. I was going to, but then Tiny gave me that big Growlithe-eyed look and distracted me long enough for them to give you the shot,_ Dawn apologized, head bowed in shame. _My training never prepared me for dealing with something like that._ Pikachu glared at Tiny, who smiled smugly.

"It's awfully crowded in here," Sasha said uneasily, squeezing herself against one wall.

"Sorry if it's a tight fit," Briney apologized. "This ship wasn't really meant for more people than just me."

"Do you want to go outside?" Ash asked Sasha.

She shook her head. "No…I'll be fine. The spell will work better indoors, especially without any water or wind to put out the candle. Besides, once things get started…my adversity to enclosed spaces will no longer be an issue."

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" Leo asked.

"You'll see for yourselves," Sasha said cryptically.

"All right, we're all set up," Lily said as she floated back from the triangle. "Now we need to form a circle around the diagram, everyone touching each other. Once we get started, whatever you do, don't break contact with the Pokemon standing next to you. Something catastrophic could happen."

"Like what might have happened if we had let go of the chain when we were in Dawn's memories?" Ash asked.

"Worse," Lily said ominously. They didn't like the sound of that.

Nevertheless, they formed a circle around the table, though they had a bit of trouble due to the tight space and a quarter of the wall just next to the table taken up by seats they were forced to stand on top of, putting them above the others and making their circle less of a circle and more of a jumbled loop. It was a good thing they had miraculously cured Tiny of his hatred and fear of other people the previous day, otherwise he would have been screaming his head off. "All right," Lily said once they were all forming a single circuit. "Somebody turn off the lights, please?"

"On it," Briney said, telekinetically flipping a switch and casting the room into darkness.

The darkness was partially alleviated when the candle flared to life, ignited by Lily's powers. They flinched as the light of the flame played over their faces, casting weird shadows and making them look rather monstrous. Lily closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and started to sing. Unlike her Perish Song, the melody she chanted wasn't painful to hear, but was still unpleasant for another reason. Even though the words she sang were none any of them were familiar with, it still gave off a sense of night, of endings, of starless skies and things that crawled in the shadows. They weren't sure if it was a trick of the light or magic or something in between, but the flame seemed to brighten, the blood glistened, and the glitter…glittered, but in spite of the extra light the room around them only seemed to get darker and darker…until it was impossible to tell if they were in a room at all, but in an utterly empty void of pure blackness, just eight Pokemon ringed around a table with a candle surrounded by absolute nothingness. The fact that Leo, Pikachu, and Tiny, who had been standing on the chairs, could no longer feel the (largely unused, considering that Briney had no need to sit) cushions under their feet did nothing to help this impression.

In addition, Lily wasn't the only one singing. Sasha had closed her eyes and began to hum in tune with Lily's chant, and it seemed like she was glowing…except what was surrounding her was the exact opposite of a glow. If something could be said to radiate darkness, then that's precisely what Sasha was doing. Her anti-glow grew stronger as the light from the candle intensified, and the darkness became darker, and Lily's singing became so loud that it seemed to encompass the entire universe and there was no room for anything in their minds but the sound of her voice.

And just when it was getting to be too much, and they felt as if they were going to lose their minds, Lily stopped. The sudden silence fell on them like a ten-ton weight, and nobody spoke, or moved, or even dared to breath, for fear of breaking the quiet.

It was broken for them anyway when someone behind Ash said, "What are we all waiting for?" The Lucario screamed and jumped five feet into the air, breaking the circle and coming close to knocking the table over. The person who had startled Ash, who was of course Darkrai, laughed malevolently and floated around them. "Mon, I love doing that."

Sasha sighed. "You can be so immature sometimes, Master."

Darkrai shrugged. "I'm the king of terror. I get my scares wherever I can find them."

They stared at the Pitch-Black Pokemon, taking in the appearance of the god of death and darkness. Darkrai was a black, shadow-like creature with a small head with a white fog-like ghostly substance billowing from the top of his skull covering one of his bright blue eyes and a red spiky growth around his neck. He had skinny arms and long black tatters hanging from his shoulders. He had an hourglass figure and appeared to be wearing an old, ripped cloak. There were no visible legs extending from the bottom of the cloak.

Tiny shivered and hid behind Ash's leg. The Lucario winced as memories flashed through his head…memories not just of his murdering Darkrai and Cresselia, but of Darkrai taking on Palkia and Dialga to save a town dominated by a pair of massive towers, then battling Cresselia over a city of canals. Darkrai stared at Ash, and a chill ran down his spine as the Lucario realized Darkrai remembered perfectly how Ash had killed him in the past…and might still hold a grudge.

Pikachu grabbed the hilt of his sword, though he wasn't sure if drawing it would do any good. Lily stared at Darkrai in wonder, while Sasha bowed her head respectfully. Briney grunted and crossed his arms, trying to pretend he wasn't a little intimidated. _So,_ Dawn clicked, eyes wide with awe. _This is Darkrai…the lord of death…_

"I like your hair," Leo said, rubbing his bald dome self-consciously.

"Thanks, you have no idea how much shampoo I need to go through to keep it looking this good," Darkrai said, running a claw through his billowy mane. They facefaulted.

"Master, I brought my friends to speak with you as you commanded," Sasha said.

Darkrai nodded. "I can see that. Good job, Sasha. I knew I could count on you." He turned to the others. "Team Aurabolt…allow me to introduce myself. I am Darkrai, master of death, darkness, dire dreams, the dark side of the moon, and deserts."

"Wait…deserts? Since when?" asked a confused Pikachu.

"Since I beat Seth in a game of poker the other week," Darkrai said. "Ha, he never knows when to fold 'em." They sweatdropped again.

"He's not exactly what I expected," Pikachu murmured to Ash.

"Same here. I don't remember him being so…jovial the last time I saw him," Ash muttered back. "Or the time before that. Or the time before that, too."

"The last time you saw him, it was the end of the world, and you killed him," Leo whispered. "That might have something to do with it."

"Yeah, I wasn't exactly in the best of moods back then, and you murdering me and my wife didn't help," Darkrai, who had been floating behind them the whole time, spoke up. They yelped and jumped away. "Heheheh, that never gets old." Sasha rolled her eyes.

"Then what's your excuse for why you're different now from all the other times I've met you, too?" Ash asked.

"Well, the first time we met, I was a _little_ stressed from trying to protect an entire town from a pair of pissed-off omnipotent dragon gods, and it didn't help that pretty much everyone—_especially_ that disgusting man with the fat Lickilicky—kept chasing me all over the place, convinced I was responsible for everything bad going on," Darkrai said.

"I guess that makes sense," Ash admitted. "But what about the second time, when you actually _were_ responsible for a town's problems?"

"I'm the god of nightmares. It's my job to do shit like that now and then," Darkrai said. "Just like it's the job of the goddess of heartbreak to help heartbroken people get petty revenge on their exes. It's kind of nasty, but what else are we supposed to do? It's what we're made for. And in any event, it was all Team Rocket's fault; I wouldn't even have been there at that time of year if those idiots hadn't tried doing my job for me."

"A lot of legendaries could probably blame most of the disasters they've caused on those three…" Ash grumbled.

"And most of them would be right to do so," Darkrai pointed out. Ash had to admit he had a point. "Anyway, it's good to see you again, Ash."

"Um…it's good to see you too, Darkrai. Sorry about what happened the…last time," Ash said awkwardly.

"Yeah, so am I," Darkrai said.

"All right, enough of this nonsense," Briney growled, getting annoyed. "You had Sasha bring us here because you had some information you thought we needed to know?"

"That's right," Darkrai said, turning serious. "You see, I've been keeping an eye on your team for quite some time, and not just because I was worried Ash might destroy the world or something like that." Ash winced, wondering if he'd ever live that down. "That's why I sent Sasha to you to begin with…because I saw that you were trying to bring down the Nihilators, which coincides with my own desires quite nicely. I have no love for them, and would like nothing more than to see every last one of them die."

_Then why don't you kill them yourself?_ Dawn asked. _Why rely on us to?_

"He's probably forbidden from doing something like that," Leo said. "Gods have to follow rules for that sort of thing for some reason."

"Actually, I can't take action against them on my own because they're holding my wife hostage," Darkrai said.

Everyone started at this. "Wait, what?" Pikachu cried.

"They have the lady Cresselia?" Lily gasped.

"Huh, no wonder I haven't been sleeping well lately," Briney commented.

"You never told me that," said a surprised Sasha.

"It was on a need-to-know basis, and you didn't need to know until now," Darkrai replied. She sighed.

"They captured Cresselia? But…but how?" Ash asked.

"It was J, wasn't it?" Tiny snarled, Aura surging up briefly at the thought of his nemesis.

Darkrai snorted. "J? Please, give my wife some credit! She may be a goody-goody bleeding heart who takes things waaaaay too seriously—I mean, really, I haven't left the toilet seat up in how long, but she's _still_ nagging me about it?—but she's smart and tough enough not to let herself get caught by a two-bit crook like J. No, it was Oblivion's Shadow himself who took her."

"Oblivion's Shadow," Ash whispered, clenching his fists and biting down the instinctive surge of bile and hate he felt whenever he thought of that mysterious being. This was not the way to go about controlling himself. If he couldn't keep his emotions in line, everyone's fears about him losing it might not be unjustified after all…

"How did he get her? I thought she lived on the Moon," Pikachu asked.

"It wouldn't surprise me if the Nihilators had spaceflight," Briney said. "Some of their technology is quite a bit more advanced than the sort of thing you see in some of the more civilized regions of the world."

"Considering nobody's really gotten a very strong space program put together other than to occasionally launch some satellites into orbit and politely ask Rayquaza to fix or replace them now and then, that's pretty impressive," Leo asked. "Hmm, I wonder if that means we're gonna get a chance to get into space too…"

Darkrai nodded. "You probably will. In any event, yes, Cresselia lives on the Moon, as do I when I'm not doing the rounds. Oblivion's Shadow landed on the bright side of the Moon one night while I was out, and he threatened to destroy the entire land of Feymarche if Cresselia did not submit and come with him. There was no other Nihilator present but himself, but Cresselia knew as well as I—and you too, Ash—just what power he possessed, and knew he was more than strong enough to carry out his ultimatum. She had no choice but to sacrifice herself to protect the lives of her subjects…that stupid womon! Why must she always _do_ things like that? Doesn't she know how many people would mourn if something were to happen to her? Certainly more than those who would mourn for me…" he said bitterly.

"What, the Soldier Scouts didn't try to stop him?" Leo asked.

"The who?" asked a confused Sasha.

"We probably don't want to know," Pikachu said.

"You're right, we don't," said a disturbed Briney. "I wish I didn't…" He shuddered. "Some Pokemon should not be seen in miniskirts…"

"No, the Soldier Scouts didn't try to stop him, because we don't have any in this universe," Darkrai said. "Which, now that I think about it, was probably not the best of ideas. I should look into recruiting some…anyway, when I got back and found out what had happened, I naturally tried to take out Oblivion's Shadow. But…" He sagged. "He was too powerful for me. Even my vaunted strength was nothing compared to his."

They were rather distressed by this information, naturally. "He defeated you?" Sasha cried. "You never told me that…then again, you never tell me much of anything."

"Huh…he must be really powerful, then…" Briney muttered.

_To defeat Death…is that even possible?_ Dawn wondered.

"And I only fought a projection of him…how strong is the real deal?" Ash wondered.

"Oh, I don't know…I mean, if _Ash_ killed Darkrai once, Oblivion's Shadow just beating him doesn't seem quite as impressive," Leo commented. Everyone sweatdropped.

Darkrai and Tiny glared at Leo, while Ash groaned and put his face in his hands. "Could you _please_ stop bringing that up?"

"Sorry, but, even though when you did it you were a psychotic out-of-control rampaging monster of pure destruction and sorrow, I honestly think it's one of the coolest things you've ever done," Leo confessed. "I mean, you killed _Death!_ Do you know how often that sort of thing happens outside of video games? And I know the guy who did it, too! I swear, I should be asking for your autograph or something." Pikachu facepalmed. Ash banged his head against the table.

"…Right. Anyway," Darkrai said, somewhat miffed that his defeat at Ash's paws kept getting brought up too. "Oblivion's Shadow didn't kill me because he knew I would come back right away, even more powerful. Instead, he made a deal with me: if I allowed he and his Nihilators to do as they pleased without interference, he would not torture and kill Cresselia. Normally killing her wouldn't be such a big deal, since I could just resurrect her right away, but the Nihilators had machines that could capture people's souls at the instant of death…no matter how fast I moved, they would be able to take Cresselia's soul before I could reach it, and do absolutely horrific things to it. I could not allow her to endure such torment. I had no choice but to acquiesce…I would not be able to live—or die—with myself if I let anything happen to Cresselia."

"That's kind of touching, actually," Ash commented.

"Although rather unfortunate for the world," Pikachu muttered.

"So…love can be used against you?" Lily asked Leo.

"Unfortunately, yes," Leo said.

Lily frowned. "Then…doesn't that mean it's a weakness after all?"

Leo hesitated. "Well…"

"If love is a weakness, it's one I would take every time," Briney said firmly.

"Same here," Darkrai said.

"Oh…I see," Lily said, frowning in thought.

"Anyway, I was made to sign a magically binding contract to make sure I didn't go back on my word…you can probably guess who drafted it," Darkrai said.

"Mother…" Lily whispered.

"That bitch ruins everything," Leo complained.

_What were the terms of the contract?_ Dawn asked.

"Simply put, that I could neither directly nor indirectly hinder the operations of the Nihilators, nor reveal crucial information regarding their plans, the identity of their leader, the location of their headquarters, and other factoids to anyone," Darkrai said. "Which is why they have had free reign for such a long time now…I would have reported them to the Guardians or taken care of them myself, but my hands are tied by litigation and my love for Cresselia. However…" He grinned. "Every contract has a loophole or two, and I eventually figured out ways to strike back against Oblivion's Shadow."

"How?" Tiny asked.

"The contract said that I can neither directly nor indirectly hinder their operations," Darkrai said. "However, if someone should just happen to come along and ruin their plans, and there was no way whatsoever to prove that I had anything to do with it…"

"Oh, I see…pretty clever," Leo commented.

"Thanks, I thought so too," Darkrai said.

"And that's why you sent Sasha to us," Pikachu realized. "We were fighting the Nihilators, and while she was your servant, _they_ had no way of knowing that, so to them she'd just be another friend of ours joining the fight."

Darkrai smirked and Sasha nodded. "Precisely!"

"Of course, that means if she ever got captured or killed, he could deny having ever been involved," Briney pointed out. Sasha frowned at this.

Darkrai shrugged. "That's plausible deniability for you."

"So if we take down the Nihilators and rescue Cresselia with Sasha's help, you'll win…and you won't even have had to lift a finger to do it," Leo said, impressed.

"Yep," Darkrai said. "And Sasha's not my only ace in the hole, either. Recently, I was able to…_employ_ another free agent to help me sabotage the Nihilators' plans. As you may (or may not) know, they intend to use your friend Gardevoir for…something I'm afraid I can't discuss…"

"Is it resurrecting the Ruler of Evil?" Lily asked.

"I can neither confirm nor deny that and the fact that my head is moving up and down is a muscle spasm rather than a response to that question," Darkrai said as he (didn't) nodded. "So, since she was crucial to their plans, I sent this 'free agent' to take care of her-"

Ash and Pikachu surged to their feet. "What?" Ash cried.

"You killed Gardevoir?" Pikachu yelled.

Darkrai blinked. "What? No, of course not, don't be preposterous. I didn't kill her; I had her turned into a vampire."

They stared at him for a moment. "What," Pikachu said flatly.

_That was unexpected,_ Dawn commented.

"Vampires? I didn't know there were any left in this universe," said the surprised Lily.

"A vampire? Cool! Can you make me one, too?" Leo asked eagerly.

There was a moment of silence as everyone thought about what a vampiric Leo would be like. "NO. Absolutely not," Pikachu said firmly.

Briney nodded. "Aye, that's something the world should never have to live through."

"It's a nightmare not even I am willing to contemplate for long," Darkrai agreed.

Leo scowled. "You guys suck."

"You have a vampire working for you? You didn't tell me that, either," Sasha complained. "Why do you always keep from telling me important things like that until it's almost too late for me to do anything about them?"

"Well, he's the god of darkness, so it makes sense he'd keep you in the _dark,_" Ash joked.

"Ash, that was a terrible joke," Pikachu said.

"Yeah, leave that sort of thing to me, you're bad at it," Leo said. Ash scowled.

"The reason I don't tell you these things ahead of time Sasha is because: one, I don't think you need to know them at the time, and two, if you were captured and forced to reveal your association with me, you wouldn't be able to divulge any of my other secrets to my enemies," Darkrai explained. "More plausible deniability."

"…But you're telling me now, so won't they be able to find out anyway in the unlikely event that I'm captured?" Sasha said.

"No, because I've just enchanted your body to kill itself should something like that happen," Darkrai said. Her eyes bulged. "Heh. One of the perks of being god of death."

"Uh, what about us? Did you…" Pikachu asked slowly.

"Enchant the rest of you too? Oh yeah, definitely," Darkrai said. "Don't worry though, the death spells won't go off unless you're about to reveal the fact that you're kind of sort of helping me out to the wrong people."

"Gee, that's reassuring," Leo said sarcastically.

"Not another curse…" Lily groaned.

"I don't appreciate being enchanted without my permission," Briney growled.

"Says the Pokemon who's always spying on everyone's thoughts whether they want you to or not?" Darkrai countered.

"Touché," Briney admitted grudgingly.

"Don't you think you're being a little…extreme?" Ash asked anxiously.

"I love my wife very much, and I've already taken several risks in my previous offensives against the Nihilators. I don't want anything to happen to her. Surely you can understand that, can't you?" Darkrai asked.

"…I suppose…" Pikachu muttered, clearly still very unhappy about it.

_You need not worry about me revealing your secrets, but if it will make you feel more secure, I have no problem with it,_ Dawn said.

"Take note, Lily. While love can be a wonderful thing, it can also drive people to do somewhat terrifying things to protect it," Leo told the witch. "And that's when the object of their affections is still _alive._ If they're dead…well, it's not pretty."

"Like how Briney's become a violent, paranoid, and somewhat unstable Pokemon who's given up almost his entire life in a quest for vengeance?" Lily asked.

"Pretty much, yeah," Briney said.

"And he's just a mortal. Imagine what sort of havoc _I_ would cause in the same situation," Darkrai commented. He chuckled when he saw the horrified looks on their faces. "A little more incentive for you to rescue my wife, right?" They gulped.

"Um…anyway…you said you turned Gardevoir into a vampire?" Tiny asked. "Why?"

"Why not? Vampires are cool…well, depending on the series, anyway," Leo said.

"I turned her into a vampire for two reasons. One is that I thought doing so would make her unsuitable for the Nihilators' master plan, so by changing her I would derail everything they're striving for," Darkrai said.

"How'd that work out?" Briney asked.

Darkrai sighed. "Not as well as I had hoped. Turned out they had a backup all along."

"Figures," Leo grumbled.

"Then that means you changed her for nothing?" Ash demanded.

"No, I said there were _two_ reasons I changed her," Darkrai pointed out. "You see, as it turns out, even though she's their captive she's managed to join a rebel network made up of other prisoners, slaves, and lower-ranking members of the Nihilators conducted by an entity called the 'Teacher.' I arranged for her to be turned into a vampire so that she could utilize her new powers to help destroy the Nihilators from within."

"Cool!" said Leo.

"Oh. Well…all right then," Ash said.

"Destroy them from within? She'd better not do it before _we_ get there," Briney growled.

"In addition to helping her allies, her vampire powers may prove of some assistance to you as well," Darkrai said. "Sasha, as it turns out…_Gardevoir_ is the one who's been trying to communicate to you in your dreams."

Sasha blinked. "What? How is that possible?"

"Yes, Psychics can't talk to Dark-types like that," Lily said.

"Not without Miracle Eye, anyway," Leo pointed out. "Which Gardevoirs can't learn."

"Neither can I. I've tried," Briney lamented.

"The Nihilators sealed her Psychic abilities, but she still had use of her Trace special ability," Darkrai explained. "One of the resistance members is a Kecleon. By having him attack her with Dark-type moves, she was able to temporarily gain a Dark subtype and channel her mental abilities into using a form of 'dark telepathy,' allowing her to communicate with the minds of Dark-types."

"So _that's_ how she did it…" Sasha murmured.

"…Wow. That's actually pretty clever," said an amazed Pikachu.

_And has alarming consequences for Pokemon like I, who use Darkness to conceal our minds,_ said a troubled Dawn.

"Leo, that sounds like the sort of thing you would come up with," Lily commented.

Leo scowled. "I know! And you can't believe how jealous I am that they came up with it first…" The others sweatdropped.

"She attempted to use this 'dark telepathy' to seek the mind of a Dark-type near Team Aurabolt, convey the critical information she had been able to learn during her imprisonment to that Pokemon, and have that Pokemon in turn relay it to you," Darkrai continued. "She hadn't expected Sasha to permanently join your team, but that just made things easier for her, since she didn't have to search as much for a mind she could enter. Plus, since Sasha was staying with you guys, she wouldn't need to find a new mind every time she wanted to talk to you. I couldn't have planned it better myself, to be honest."

"Huh. That _is_ kind of lucky for us, isn't it?" Pikachu asked.

Ash shrugged. "Eh, we should be used to those sorts of convenient coincidences happening to us by now."

"I suppose," Pikachu agreed reluctantly.

"If she was trying to make contact with me, why was I unable to make out anything she was trying to say?" Sasha asked.

"Because of her inexperience in using the dark telepathy and because of the great distance between your location and where she is being imprisoned," Darkrai explained. "Given enough time, she might have been able to refine her skill to the point where she could have communicated with you clearly on her own…however, I wasn't sure she had that kind of time, so I decided to…speed the process along a little by arranging for her vampirization. Due to her transformation, she's now got a permanent Dark subtype and a variety of Dark powers, one of which includes natural dark telepathy. Once she gets used to her new form and powers, I expect she'll try and reach you again…and when she succeeds, she'll be able to tell you all the information that I cannot." He neglected to mention that she'd have to survive being experimented on by Bellum, Doctor Tarantulas, _and_ Oblivion's Shadow before she could do any of that. He didn't want to worry them.

"And once we've got that information, we can head to Nihilator central and send those bastards on a one-way ticket to the Abyss!" Briney snarled gleefully.

"And rescue Gardevoir and everyone else they're holding captive…" Ash said.

"And save the world, while we're at it," Leo said.

"And maybe put an end to my mother's evil once and for all, too…" Lily whispered.

_Thank you for this information, Darkrai. It will prove most useful in the battles to come,_ Dawn said graciously.

Darkrai nodded. "Thanks. I'm only sorry I can't tell you guys more than this, thanks to my contract…however, I know a lot of stuff about other things that might interest you, though. To make up for what I can't tell you, I'm willing to let each of you ask me one big question—with follow-ups and commentary from the others allowed with no penalty—about a matter that you're especially concerned about. I can't tell you anything about the locations of Nihilator bases or what they're planning—which means I can't tell you anything that might benefit your friends back in Pokemon Square, since what's going on there is part of a bigger Nihilator plot—nor can I tell you the identity of Oblivion's Shadow, what he's after, or what's up with his obsession with Ash. Additionally, I won't answer any questions regarding Ash's past…not because that's forbidden per se, but because I'm a teensy bit concerned about the darkness eating away at his heart, and I'm worried what certain…revelations might trigger." Ash fidgeted uneasily. "Just about anything else is fair game, though. So, who wants to go first?"

"I will," Briney said, speaking up before anyone else could. "Sasha here told me you could put me in touch with Peeko again. What do I have to do to make that happen? Aside from dying, that is. I'm not quite ready to leave this mortal coil yet. I still have a lot of work to do and people to kill."

"I'd be happy to help reunite you with Peeko, Briney," Darkrai said. "However, since that'll probably be a more…private and intimate matter, I'd rather wait to deal with it until I've finished up answering everyone else's questions. Is that all right with you?"

"Well…all right, I suppose if I've waited this long…" Briney said reluctantly.

"So, who wants to go next…oh, how about you, Ash? I bet you're wondering how to prevent yourself from turning into a Void Pokemon and killing everyone and/or being killed by Sasha and Briney, am I right?" Darkrai asked.

"I certainly am," Tiny commented, irritated about how everyone kept bringing up the idea of killing his father.

"So would I, but that's not what I'm going to ask," Ash said.

Pikachu nodded. "We discussed it ahead of time and decided that that would be my question. There isn't really anything I want to know that you could probably tell us aside from that. My only real desire right now is to find a way to keep my brother and best friend from becoming a monster."

"Awww," Leo said.

_A noble sentiment,_ Dawn concurred.

Darkrai shrugged. "Fair enough. All right, Ash…what do you want to know, then?"

"What do I want to know?" Ash sighed. "There's a lot of questions I have, but like you said, I don't know how many of them you can answer. You can't tell me who Oblivion's Shadow is or what my connection to him is, and you _won't_ tell me more about my past. And you've already told us how Gardevoir is doing. That leaves only one thing to talk about, one thing burning at the back of my mind and weighing on my heart."

"And that thing is?" Darkrai asked.

"…Misty," Ash said quietly, a forlorn look on his face. "When Oblivion's Shadow was about to kill me, he implied—or tried _not_ to imply—that something had happened to her. Something bad. Ever since he said—well, _didn't_ say—that, it's been preying on me day and night. Whenever my mind wanders, I find myself thinking of all the horrible things that could have happened to her. When I fall asleep, I have nightmares of her being tortured or killed or sacrificed to whatever demons the Nihilators worship. I have to know, even if it only speeds up my descent into madness, because _not_ knowing will only drive me crazy faster. Please…I beg of you…tell me…tell me what happened to her. Tell me what's happened to Misty. _Please._" He trembled, on the brink of tears.

Darkrai—and everyone else—regarded Ash for a long, quiet moment. And it was then that Lily understood what Leo had been telling her earlier when he had said that Ash loved Misty, no matter what the Lucario said to the contrary. If he and the Vaporeon had only been friends, would his eyes be glimmering with equal parts despair and hope, a look of desperate and almost painfully naked _need_ shining on his face? _Is this…what love is?_ She wondered. _Is there anyone who will ever look like that…at the thought that something terrible might have happened to me?_

"I have good news and I have bad news," Darkrai said softly, a sympathetic look on his face. They all tensed, waiting for something they dared not even consider, for the words that might raise Ash's spirits…or crush them utterly. "The good news is…Misty's alive. She's alive and has managed to escape from the Nihilators."

Everyone released a breath they hadn't even realized they were holding. Ash's face lit up with joy. "She has? Where is she?"

"Ah, that's the bad news," Darkrai said awkwardly. "You see, she's sort of…not in this universe anymore."

There was a pause. "Not in this universe?" Pikachu cried.

"Typical," Leo groaned.

"It's just one thing after another, isn't it?" Briney said with a sigh.

"She's not…but then…then where is she?" Ash yelled.

"When she was in the custody of the Nihilators, Doctor Tarantulas performed an experiment on her that caused her molecules to be dispersed throughout the Omniverse," Darkrai explained. "Fortunately, the alien known as Deoxys managed to collect all her constituent particles, reassembled them, learned of the problems going on here, and is as we speak on his way to try and put a stop to them."

Lily gasped. "The Savior is coming? That is wonderful news!"

"Not if he gets to the Nihilators before us," Briney complained.

"Yeah, then he'll get all the credit for saving the world!" Leo agreed.

"Still, this is wonderful news," Pikachu said. "Deoxys defeated Oblivion's Shadow—or Lord Null, as he was called back then—a thousand years ago. Surely he can do it again."

"Which means I won't have to," Ash said, unsure if he was relieved or disappointed.

"Don't start celebrating yet, kids," Darkrai interrupted. "There's more bad news. While he's on his way here…it's going to take a while for him to show up, even though his ship is one of the best in the Omniverse. Don't pin all your hopes on him arriving in the nick of time to save the day. He might, but he also might not. As such, it would probably be for the best if you continue as you are now, to try and put a stop to the Nihilators' plans before it's too late and not even the 'Savior' will be able to fix the mess those fools are going to make of this planet."

"We'll do our best," Pikachu promised.

"And when he _does_ come…Misty will be with him, won't she?" Ash asked hopefully.

Darkrai nodded. "There's nowhere else she'd rather be. Well, except maybe with you."

Pikachu, Leo, and Briney started snickering as Ash flushed. "Dude, even the god of death is convinced you're a couple! Will you quit denying it already?" Leo asked.

"Shut up, mon," Ash moaned, putting his face in his hands. Tiny scratched his head in confusion. Lily frowned. She understood that Ash was, for some reason, refusing to admit he had feelings for Misty…but was constantly teasing him about it the best way to make him admit the truth?

_Maybe not, but it's certainly fun,_ Briney said to her telepathically, startling her.

_Oh, Briney,_ she said in surprise. _I forgot you could do that. I'm not used to hearing voices in my head other than B's._

_That's probably for the best. But if you start hearing _other_ voices, you may want to tell the others,_ Briney said. _That sort of thing isn't quite healthy…_

"Anyway," Ash said loudly once the laughter had died down. "We'll keep fighting the Nihilators, then…and let's see if we can't defeat them before the Savior gets here, so Misty will have a safe planet to come back to!"

"And marry you on," Leo commented, starting the laughs up again. Ash groaned.

"You do that," Darkrai said. "So…Pikachu, I believe you were going to ask how to prevent Ash from turning into a Void Pokemon in his place?"

Pikachu nodded. "That's right. I don't want to have to kill Ash to save the world…so what do we need to do to keep that from happening?"

"Well, that depends on Ash. Ash, what are you trying so far?" Darkrai asked.

Ash sighed. "Well, both my book and Aaron—after I finally got around to telling him what's wrong with me-recommended a series of daily meditative exercises to try and get my emotions under control. I've been doing that first thing in the morning and last thing at night. However, considering I'm inevitably going to run into Oblivion's Shadow again and learn more about what happened a thousand years ago sooner or later, I'm worried that those will only be stopgap measures. Aaron also said he knew a technique that he could use to seal my Aura that would keep me from transforming into a Void Pokemon…the problem is that I'd need to get back to Pokemon Square for him to use it on me, which could take several days since it's too far away for Lily to portal to, and if he sealed my Aura…then I couldn't use my powers at all. I would be unable to purify Shadow Pokemon or defeat most of our enemies, including Oblivion's Shadow."

"But if your Aura remained unsealed, then that means there's still a chance you can turn into a Void Pokemon," Darkrai pointed out.

"Which means that either way, I lose," Ash said unhappily.

"Aaron can't purify you? Or Tiny?" Darkrai asked.

Ash shook his head. "The corrupted Aura inside of me is too strong to be removed as easily as that. Latias said that _she_ could do it, though…if she were at full power. Which she isn't, and doesn't look to be for quite some time to come. I don't suppose you could tell us anything about how to make that happen sooner?"

Darkrai shook his head. "Afraid not. Sorry."

The Lucario sighed. "I figured as much. And even if she were back at full strength, I'd still need to get to Pokemon Square, which is a little difficult at the moment. The only other hope I have is of somehow gaining the power of a Shining Pokemon…unfortunately, my book is incredibly vague on that, and Aaron doesn't seem to know how I can become one either. Do you?"

Darkrai thought for a moment. "…I'm not sure how much I can tell you, since the transformation into a Shining Pokemon is an individual experience and everyone goes through it differently. However…from what I've gathered, to a large extent it involves diving into your own heart."

"Like…a sort of self-purification?" Ash asked. "I've read that it's possible to do something like that, but I haven't advanced that far in my training."

"You're going to have to if you want to become a Shining Pokemon," Darkrai said. "A Shining Pokemon is essentially the highest state of being a living Pokemon can achieve…the pinnacle of evolution and the peak of spiritual perfection. An undying, unconquerable force akin to the gods…even strong enough to _defeat_ the gods. But that sort of power is not easy to obtain."

"When is it ever?" Leo grumbled.

"What do I need to do to get that kind of power?" Ash asked.

"Like I said, it varies from person to person, but almost always it involves going inside your heart," Darkrai said. "And once there…you must confront your own darkness. All the ugly parts of yourself…your ignorance. Your selfishness. Your envy and hatred and pride. The embodiment of your sins and everything that is wrong with yourself…

"And you must destroy it."

"Not embrace it?" Leo asked. "Usually that's what internal battles with dark sides entail, isn't it? Acknowledging your flaws and accepting them as part of you?"

"It is?" Ash asked.

"Well, from my experience, yeah," Leo said.

"When have you battled your own dark side?" asked a confused Lily.

"I haven't, but I've played characters that have," Leo said.

Pikachu sighed. "Of course you have…"

"And did a fine job of it, too," Briney said. Leo beamed and Pikachu sweatdropped.

"Most of the time that would be the case," Darkrai admitted. "But not in this instance. A Shining Pokemon is a Pokemon who has transcended his own failures and shortcomings to become something more than mortal…a paragon. A champion. An ultimate hero. Clinging to their dark sides would only hold them back. This is because an Aura Guardian, unlike most other people, can only be either good or evil. There is no room in their hearts for grayness or being in-between. Trying to be that way would only lead to their ruin. That is why Ash must rid himself of the darkness in his heart…because if he leaves it there, it might eventually consume him."

"So I have to defeat my own darkness…but how do I do that?" Ash asked.

"That is something you will have to figure out on your own," Darkrai said. "The best advice I can give you is to cling to your ideals and convictions, and the people and relationships you value most. Remain true to yourself, no matter what you may see within your heart that tries to convince you that the contrary is true. But be warned…once you initiate this dive to the heart, if you fail to defeat your darkness…there is a chance that it will overwhelm you, and your transformation into a Void Pokemon will be complete."

Ash grimaced. "Wonderful…no matter what I do, it seems as if that's the only fate available to me…"

"Don't worry, Daddy. I know you can do it!" Tiny assured him.

"You might, but I don't," Ash said unhappily.

"You realize that negative thinking like that is only going to make it harder, right?" Leo pointed out.

Ash sighed. "Yeah, I know…"

"Don't worry, if you screw up, we'll be there to help you…by killing you before you can hurt anyone," Briney said cheerfully. Sasha nodded in agreement. Ash groaned.

"There isn't any other way to stop this?" Pikachu asked.

Darkrai shook his head. "Not that I know of. If you think trying for Shining Pokemon status is too difficult, though, you should still be okay so long as you master proper control of your emotions. If you can calm yourself to the point that seeing Oblivion's Shadow doesn't cause you to flip out, you're probably in good shape and at minimal risk of turning into a Void Pokemon."

"I guess that's what I'll have to shoot for, then…thanks, Darkrai," Ash said.

"No problem. I hope you succeed…and not just because I know firsthand what it's like to die at the hands of a monster like that. I genuinely like you, and want you to get a happy ending to this whole sordid tale," Darkrai said. Ash couldn't help smiling a little at that. "Anything else you want to know, Pikachu?"

Pikachu shook his head. "Not that I can think of."

"All right then. Next question! Who's up?" Darkrai asked.

"Ooh, me, me! Pick me! Pick me!" Leo said, enthusiastically waving his hand in the air.

"Hmm, I think I'll pick…Lily," Darkrai said, pointing at the Midsreavus.

"Aww, mon!" Leo complained, lowering his hand.

"So. How can I help you, little witch?" Darkrai asked.

"Um…great Darkrai…as you no doubt know, I have been cursed, my soul condemned to the Abyss and the clutches of your predecessor, Giratina, upon my evolution," Lily said timidly. "Do you know of any way to break that curse and free me?"

"Couldn't you just stay away from Dusk Stones? Misdreavuses can't evolve without one," Darkrai asked.

"Mother force-fed me a Dusk Stone centuries ago," Lily said. "It's only the spell I cast on myself that's kept it from activating ages ago."

Pikachu sighed. "Of course she did."

"Is there anything she _hasn't_ done to you, Lily?" Sasha asked.

"Yes," Lily, Leo, and Briney said.

"What?" Sasha asked. They told her. "Oh," she said. "That's a relief."

"Daddy, what's-" Tiny started.

"Um, we can talk about it later," Ash said, looking hopefully at Leo.

The Squirtle shook his head. "Nuh-uh, I already did it with Lily. The kid's your responsibility, so you're the one who's gonna tell him." Ash sagged.

_What did it taste like?_ Dawn asked. Everyone stared at her. _What? I'm curious._

"It wasn't too bad, actually," Dawn admitted. "It had a rather rich, sweet taste to it. It's one of the better things Mother's made me eat, to be honest."

"We probably don't want to know what those other things are, do we?" Ash asked.

"No, you don't, you really don't," Briney said. "It's memories like hers that sometimes make me reconsider sticking my nose into other people's heads…but only sometimes."

"Well, I'm sorry to say that I cannot break your curse, Lily," Darkrai said apologetically. "Giratina is an older and much stronger goddess than I. She's the one who taught me a lot of what I know now about magic and death and darkness. Becoming my follower would not create a strong enough bond to annul your connection to her."

"But then what will?" Lily wailed, distraught.

"Leo has an idea of what will…and he's working on it as we speak," Darkrai said, glancing at Leo, who blinked.

"You are?" Lily cried in astonishment. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Um, because I wasn't sure it would work, and I didn't want to get your hopes up," Leo said, giving Darkrai a stunned look. "Then…what I have in mind will work?"

"It should, if you do it right," Darkrai assured him.

Leo smiled. "Thanks…that's a relief. I'll keep at it, then."

"What is it?" Lily asked.

"I can't tell you," Leo said apologetically.

"What? Why?" she asked, looking hurt.

"Because if I do, I'm not sure it'll work the way it's supposed to," Leo said.

"Oh, all right then," Lily said, understanding.

_You're giving in just like that?_ Dawn asked.

"There's lots of magic that doesn't work if you explain it to whomever it's cast on," Lily said. "Sometimes it's best if they don't even know if it's cast on them to begin with." She frowned. "Oh…but does that mean that it won't work, now that I know you're doing it?"

"Considering you don't know _what_ I'm doing, I don't think so," Leo said.

"All right then. Since it's you who's doing it, I'm sure it'll be spectacular," Lily said.

The Squirtle blushed. "Thanks…I'll do my best to live up to your expectations."

"Briney, I don't suppose _you_ could tell us what Leo's up to?" Ash asked.

"I'd rather not know, to be honest, but something tells me I should hear it anyway," Pikachu said wearily.

"Well…all right, lads. What Leo has planned is…" Briney told them telepathically.

Their eyes bulged. "Um…wow," Ash said.

"Could that…actually work?" Pikachu asked.

"I'm hoping it will, and Darkrai seems to think so," said Leo.

Lily moaned. "Oh, now I'm even more eager to know what it is…but I must be patient. I'll wait until Leo is ready to reveal it."

"When I do, it'll be a big surprise," Leo promised her.

"Even knowing it's a surprise, I look forward to it all the same," she replied.

"Daddy, what's he talking about?" Tiny asked.

"We'll…talk about that later, too," Ash said.

"Should we be letting this go on?" Pikachu whispered to Ash. "I mean, if it works, the implications are…mind-boggling!"

"I dunno," Ash murmured, looking at Leo and Lily thoughtfully. "There's _something_ between them…"

"Ah, like you and Misty?" Pikachu asked.

"Will you quit it with that?" Ash snarled.

"It's that, or being constantly reminded that you killed Death, could potentially turn into a monster, and we may have to kill you," Pikachu said. "Which would you prefer?" Ash actually had to think about that for a few minutes.

"It's times like this I almost regret being a Dark type," Sasha complained. "Because so much seems to be passing over my head…"

"Lily, are you satisfied with your answer?" Darkrai asked.

"I suppose I am for now, until Leo does…whatever it is he intends to do," Lily said.

"Good," Darkrai said. "And speaking of Leo…I guess we should get you out of the way now so you won't pester me later. So, what do you want?"

"Well, Darkrai sir," Leo said, reaching into his shell and pulling out several sheets of paper, which he handed to the dark god. Darkrai frowned and put on a pair of reading glasses as he started examining the pages. Then he took out a magnifying glass and peered through that as well. "If you'll look at this form, you'll see I've had a paralegal draft and review a request for immortality and/or a way to _obtain_ immortality that doesn't require me to kill anyone or do any particularly immoral acts and has no negative consequences such as eternal life with constant aging, eternal life as a statue or monster, eternal life in constant agony, eternal life with the possibility of dying by being killed through a cheap loophole or accident, and so on. It's also been phrased in such a way so that no trickster deity, literal genie, or simply incompetent wish-granting magical being misconstrues my request to give me something other than _exactly_ what I have specified: true immortality, with no strings or downsides attached."

Everyone stared at him in astonishment. "You went to _that_ much trouble to articulate a single wish?" asked the stunned Ash.

Leo shrugged. "I've said many times I want to live forever. Naturally that means I'll take every precaution to obtain that goal without having it backfire on me, including writing up the perfect way to ask for it without getting cheated, screwed over, or ripped off."

Lily nodded approvingly. "He's right; you always have to be very careful what you ask for when it comes to magic."

"…Leo, you _are_ aware that when you evolve into a Wartortle your lifespan will extend to _ten thousand years,_ aren't you?" an exasperated Pikachu asked. "Isn't asking for immortality on top of all that just being greedy?"

Leo frowned. "Do you have any idea how many Wartortles and Blastoises actually live long enough to become that old?"

Pikachu paused. "Well…"

"None, that's how many. We either die in battle or get killed by crazy alchemists or collectors who think that making some potions out of our tails or shells or bones or whatever will make them live longer. I don't intend to be one of those turtles. I want to live long enough to enjoy my full ten millenniums…and beyond!" Leo said.

"Oh. Well…I guess it's kind of reasonable when you put it that way…" Pikachu said.

"I didn't know that was a problem Wartortles and Blastoises had to worry about," said a surprised Ash.

"Oh yes, many spells list body parts from that line as components," Lily said. "Naturally, that means Mother has more than a few in cold storage…"

"Figures," Briney grunted.

"We make easier targets than Dragon Pokemon or Ninetales—who are also coveted by alchemists and similar creeps for the same reason—so more of us get picked off that way," Leo lamented. "That's not much of a problem in Turtle Town since there's so many of us there to watch each other's backs, but nobody's actually managed to live a full ten thousand years…though that's partly since it's only been a thousand years since the big cataclysm that killed everyone, so the oldest turtles in town aren't really that old."

"Do any of those longevity spells or potions that use Wartortle and Blastoise parts actually work?" a curious Sasha asked.

"Yes, but not very well," Lily said. "It takes the tails from one hundred Wartortles to create a soup that increases your life by one year. In comparison, it only takes one Ninetales tail to increase your life by _nine _years, and ground-up dragon bones can add a few decades. However, Dragon-types and Ninetales are rare and harder to catch in bulk."

Dawn shook her head. _How terribly inefficient._

"I wonder how many J was asked to capture…" Tiny murmured.

"Everything seems to be in order here," Darkrai said, removing his glasses and handing the form back to Leo. "I'm afraid that I can't give you eternal life, however. Death and dreams—and deserts, and the moon—are my domain, not life. I know of a number of ways you could gain immortality within the parameters you listed, however…though I'm not sure how many of them you're actually capable of. But…let me tell you one that I think is right up your alley…" He bent over and whispered something into Leo's earhole.

Leo's eyes widened as he listened. "Uh-huh…yeah…I see…ooh…that sounds nice…yeah…yeah…YEAH! Wow, do you really think I could do that?"

Darkrai nodded. "It'll be a bit tricky, but I think you're more than capable."

"Thanks, mon! I'll get right on it!" Leo said enthusiastically.

Ash and Pikachu exchanged concerned glances. "Uh, Leo, what did Darkrai just tell you?" Ash asked.

Leo shook his head. "Not telling. I don't want you to figure it out before I do!"

"Briney?" Pikachu asked.

The Metang frowned. "I…can't get it. There's something…Dark about the words Darkrai just put in Leo's head. I can't make them out."

"Yeah, I did that so no meddling Psychics could steal the secret of immortality," Darkrai said. "Or one of them, anyway. I've also been tainting pretty much all your memories of our discussion with darkness so they can't be extracted from you psychically."

"Well, I suppose that's one less thing for us to worry about activating that death spell," Sasha said. "Unless they use Miracle Eye, that is…"

"I'm kind of getting tired of people messing around in our minds without permission," Pikachu complained.

"Deal with it," Darkrai said. "So, Leo, that good enough for you?"

Leo nodded. "Yeah, totally."

"Okay. So…let's see…who's next?" Darkrai asked.

"Um…" Tiny cleared his throat. "Darkrai sir…I was wondering if…if you could tell me…" He swallowed. "You were able to tell Daddy that Misty is okay. Do you know…do you know what happened to my Mommy, too?"

"I do," Darkrai said. "And there's good news and bad news about that, too. The good news is, she's alive." Everyone sighed in relief. Tiny smiled. "The bad news is that Hunter J sold her to the Nihilators and Doctor Tarantulas tortured her until she became a mindless Shadow Pokemon of incredible power." Everyone gasped. Tiny went pale.

"No…" the Larvitar whispered.

"Oh, Tiny…" Lily said softly.

_Another innocent Pokemon crushed by those monsters…_ Dawn clicked angrily.

"I'll kill J!" Ash snarled. "And Tarantulas!"

"Where is she? Where did they take her?" Pikachu demanded.

"I really can't say," Darkrai said apologetically.

"What? Master, why not?" Sasha demanded.

"He can't tell us," Briney said. "If the Nihilators have her, then telling us where she is would be breaking his contract."

"What? But then how are we supposed to rescue her? That's Taurosshit!" Leo yelled.

"Oh, you don't have to worry about rescuing her. Someone else will," Darkrai said.

"Who?" Pikachu asked.

"Tiny's father," Darkrai said.

Tiny blinked and looked at Ash in confusion. "But I thought you said we weren't the ones who were going to rescue her."

Darkrai rolled his eyes. "Not him, your _birth_ father."

"Ohhhh," everyone said.

"Wait, I have a father?" Tiny cried in surprise.

"…Well, yeah, your mom didn't lay that egg by herself, you know," Leo said.

"Didn't you say some Pokemon could?" Lily asked.

"Yes, but most of those eggs don't have baby Pokemon in them, just yolks," Leo said. "And Tyranitar is not one of the ones that can."

"Oh," Lily said.

Ash frowned. "Tiny has a father? That's funny…why wasn't he in any of Tiny's memories, then? Helping his mother fend off J and her goons?"

"Because he wasn't there for Tiny's laying," Darkrai said. "For you see, Tiny's father is none other than Vicious, the Iron Masked Marauder. The Tyranitar you know…as T-Bone of Team A.C.T."

Tiny gasped. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Leo screamed. Everyone stared at him. "Sorry, had to be done."

Ash's eyes widened in astonishment. "What? Tiny is T-Bone's son?"

"You know, now that I think about it, there _is_ a family resemblance…I can't believe I didn't notice it sooner," Pikachu commented.

"Well, there's an unpleasant surprise," Briney said.

"Whoa, one important Larvitar is the son of another important person of the same evolutionary line? Who would have thought?" Leo asked sarcastically.

"So now I'm not the only person here who's related to an evil person…I'm sorry, Tiny," Lily said.

_This is unfortunate and unexpected,_ Dawn said, stating the obvious.

"My…my father is from the same town as Daddy? And…a _traitor?_" Tiny whispered.

"No way…that can't be right!" Ash said. "I don't believe it!"

"I did not even know T-Bone had a family," Sasha commented.

"He kept it a secret from everyone, because he wasn't sure how everyone else would feel about it," Darkrai said. "He met Tiny's mother out in the wild one day and they soon fell in love. Unfortunately, she was not interested in moving to town, and he didn't want to leave Pokemon Square and his obligations there. They compromised by meeting halfway whenever time allowed for it, and made do the best they could with what they had. She soon became pregnant…but she laid Tiny's egg while he was on a mission with Team A.C.T., and so he wasn't there to protect them when J came to capture her bounty. J captured Tiny's mother, Tiny himself got washed out to sea and was eventually found by that nutty Arcanine Growlithe-dog vendor you ran into in Battlus…and T-Bone, full of grief and blaming himself for what had happened, was approached by Giovanni…who made him an offer he couldn't refuse."

"…So…is that why he joined Team Rocket and betrayed Allen and Charlie?" asked the surprised Ash. "Because Giovanni promised they would get his mate and child back?"

"Pretty much," Darkrai said.

Pikachu frowned. "That doesn't make him any less of a traitor…but at least this explains _why_ he did it…"

"He also betrayed his friends out of love for Pokemon Square…he sold them out to the Monkey King to find out what Gal and his cronies were up to, so Team Rocket would know of it and be able to counter it to protect the town," Darkrai continued. "Allen's death was not part of the plan. He actually argued to keep him alive…but Gal wanted to make an example of him to demoralize your friends back home. Considering they and the Draconian Empire are about to launch a massive offensive against Mt. Blaze, you can see how well that worked."

"So that's what happened…" Leo murmured. "Interesting."

"He betrayed his friends because of love?" Lily wondered. "Much like Darkrai…" She frowned. "I'm still having trouble seeing what's so good about love, if it can entice a person to do something like that."

_While the reasons for his actions are understandable, that does not pardon his crimes,_ Dawn said. _He must face justice for what he has done, and for the oaths he has broken._

"And because of his connection to Team Rocket, whoever they are, too," Pikachu said.

"What are these Team Rocket weirdoes up to anyway?" Briney complained. "We have enough trouble keeping one evil organization trying to take over the world in check…and now there's another one we need to worry about, too?"

"Just what is Giovanni trying to pull?" Ash wondered. He was starting to remember more and more about the Team Rocket from his time. He had only clashed with the organization itself on a handful of occasions, mainly dealing with the three idiots that kept following him everywhere trying to steal Pikachu…who had apparently been reincarnated like everyone else, if the nimrods that had attacked him during the Mt. Battle tournament were anything to go by. Like the Team Rocket of the present, that organization had been trying to take over the world too…but their goals had been much less 'noble' and the Iron Masked Marauder he recalled much less ambivalent.

"I'm afraid I can't tell you that," Darkrai said. "Not because of my contract, but because…well…I promised a friend. Let's just leave it at that."

"I don't want to," Briney said.

"Tough," Darkrai said. "Because that's all you're going to get on that subject." Everyone glared at him. He glared back. They looked away. (Yes, even Briney! Though he lasted the longest, next to Dawn.)

"You said…you said that my…my father was going to rescue Mommy," Tiny spoke up, his mind still reeling from the revelation of who his other parent was. "How?"

"Yeah, especially considering he's going to be captured and brought back to justice in Pokemon Square very shortly," Pikachu said.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that…" Darkrai murmured. "Anyway, you remember how J's ship acted weird and snatched up her and her minions after you finished beating them? Team Rocket agents managed to commandeer the vessel while its owners were occupied fighting you and used it to apprehend J and bring her back to Rocket headquarters. The Rockets are opposed to the Nihilators, and intend to use J's connections to them to find the locations of a number of their bases and destroy them to weaken their power around the world. Additionally, they intend to track down all of J's other clients and retrieve the Pokemon she sold to them-assuming they're alive, that is—and return them to their families. Tiny's mother and T-Bone's mate is one of those victims they aim to rescue."

"…I see…" Tiny said quietly. "That's…that's good. Isn't it?"

"It means you'll be getting your mom back. That sounds good to me," Briney said.

"But she'll be a Shadow Pokemon! And…and my father is the one rescuing her. My father…who I've never met, who's a hero that betrayed everyone for the sake of my mother and…and for me. I don't…I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about that. What am I supposed to think of him?" Tiny asked, looking hurt and confused.

"…Those are all good points," Pikachu admitted. "I'm not entirely sure what to think of him either now that I know some of his motivations."

"At least he isn't nearly as bad as _my_ mother is," Lily said.

"Most parents aren't as bad as yours, Lily," Leo said. "And Tiny…even if you're not sure how to think about your dad, we know at least one thing: that he loves you and your mother. If he didn't, he wouldn't have turned his back on his friends, his town, on everyone for your sake, would he? So that's one point in his favor, right?"

"…I…suppose…" Tiny said, not looking very certain. "But…if he loves me…and if he saves Mommy…and assuming he survives whatever punishment he's going to get for betraying everyone, then…what'll happen to me? Do I go to live with Mommy and…and maybe him? Or do I stay with…Daddy? And you guys? My…family…"

"…That's up to you, Tiny," Ash said after a moment. "I would like nothing better than for you to stay with us always, and grow up alongside Junior and Collette and Sapphire and the rest of the family…but…if you want to go back to your mother…your mother, who you missed so much you sealed yourself up in a shell of loneliness and despair…then I won't stop you. Ultimately, it's your decision to make. Not ours."

Tiny frowned. "But…how am I supposed to make a decision as hard as that on my own?"

_All of us must make decisions like that eventually,_ Dawn said. _It's part of growing up._

"Whatever choice you make, we'll abide by it," Pikachu said. "Whichever family you choose to stay with is up to you. We'll support you one hundred percent either way."

"But if you leave us, we'll miss you very much," Lily said sadly.

"Yeah, I mean we're just starting to get to know the real you," Leo agreed.

Tiny groaned and rubbed his temples. "…I can't decide now. This is all so sudden. I need…I need time to think about this. To figure everything out."

"Well, you have plenty of time, considering your mother hasn't even been rescued yet," Darkrai said. "But when she is…"

"Once she has been…and is herself again," Tiny finished. "I guess…I guess I'll figure it out then. And until then…" He smiled at Ash. "Until then…you're the only daddy I need." Ash smiled and tried very hard not to cry.

"Alternatively," Briney spoke up. "Since T-Bone, if he gets caught, will probably be either put to death or imprisoned for a very long time, Ash could just marry his ex-spouse and they could raise you together."

Ash's eyes bulged. "Wait, _what?_"

"Oh, I hadn't considered that," Tiny said, perking up.

"No way! I can't marry her! Misty would kill…I mean…um…" Ash flushed deeply as Pikachu, Leo, and Briney started laughing. "Oh, shut up…"

"You know, there's no reason you can't marry _both_ of them," Leo said.

Sasha nodded. "Polygamy or polyandry is uncommon but not unheard of in Pokemon Square, isn't it?"

"Poly-what?" Lily asked.

_Having more than one permanent mate,_ Dawn explained.

"Oh," Lily said. She frowned in disgust. "Why would anyone want to have sex with _more_ than one person? Isn't doing it with a single person regularly bad enough?"

"Not everybody thinks so," Leo said.

"I could marry you, Misty, and Tiny's mother once the former's back from space and the latter has been rescued and purified," Briney offered Ash. "I'm a ship's captain, so I have the authority to do that."

Leo brightened at this. "You do, do you?" _Uh, say, do you think I could talk to you about that later regarding…you-know-what?_ He thought.

Briney chuckled. _I'd be glad to,_ he replied telepathically.

"On the other hand, I doubt Misty'd be willing to share Ash with another womon," Pikachu pointed out. "She can be very possessive."

"And besides, she always said that if she got married, she'd want Master Yamiri to do the ceremony," Ash said. When they started grinning again, he yelled, "She said for _if_ she got married! _IF!_ And not necessarily to me! She never said it was going to be to me!"

"I think it was implied, though," Pikachu said.

"It was not!" Ash yelled.

"Just keep telling yourself that, mon," Leo said.

Ash groaned…and then grinned, a wicked idea occurring to him. "Then maybe Master Yamiri could wed you and Dawn, too."

Pikachu flushed. "What? That…that's not…"

_I would refuse,_ Dawn said, causing Pikachu to stare at her in confusion and relief…and hurt, for some reason.

"Why not?" Leo asked in surprise and alarm. Did this mean Dawn didn't like Pikachu after all?

_Master Yamiri is Arcean. I'm Draconian, and have no intention of converting, since it would break my oath to Rayquaza,_ Dawn pointed out. _If I were to marry anyone, it would not count unless it was done by a Draconian priest or a nondenominational authority._

"Would I suffice?" Briney asked.

_Certainly_, Dawn said.

"Um, Dawn, you can't really mean…" Pikachu said weakly.

Dawn smiled at him. _I said _if _I were to marry, Master. That is not something I foresee happening for quite some time, so you need not fear losing me to another mon just yet._

"Oh. So…if you _were_ to marry, it wouldn't be…" Pikachu trailed off as Ash, Leo, Darkrai, and Briney frowned in disappointment.

_I would marry you if you wished it, Master. Is that a proposal?_ Dawn asked innocently. Pikachu turned so red that he couldn't speak, and his friends' laughter would have drowned out any reply he could have given anyway.

"I really do not understand all this," Lily complained.

"Me neither," said a confused Tiny. "Is Miss Dawn going to become my Aunt? Is Daddy marrying Mommy or not? Am I going to have two mommies? How would that work?"

"It happens more often than you would think," Sasha said. "But it is unlikely that Ash will mate with your mother. There is only room in his heart for one womon, no matter how much he denies it. However, that doesn't mean that womon—or your birth mother—will be any less of a mother to you."

"Oh," Tiny said, still somewhat perplexed.

"Ah, it's always fun to mock other people," Darkrai said, wiping away a tear. "Anyway. Tiny, now you know your mom's condition, and that she's going to be rescued soon."

"Yeah, which isn't exactly the sort of behavior you'd expect from an evil organization bent on taking over the world," Leo said.

"These Rockets sound very different from the ones I remember," Ash commented. "I mean, they're still bad guys, but they seem to have good intentions, while the Rockets in the past were just bad guys plain and simple. I think."

"They're certainly less evil than the Nihilators…so far," Pikachu agreed. "I doubt they can be trusted, though, even if they _are_ trying to save Pokemon Square and the world."

Ash nodded in agreement. "It's because of them that Allen's dead. They may be better than the Nihilators, but they're still evil and need to be dealt with sooner or later."

"Are you sure there's nothing else you can tell us about them, Darkrai?" Lily asked.

"Nope," Darkrai said. "Like I said, I promised a friend."

"Who?" Sasha asked.

"Not telling," Darkrai said cheerfully. "Anyway. Tiny, anything else you want to know?"

The Larvitar shook his head. "I don't think so…thank you for letting me know that my Mommy is still alive."

"No problem, kid. Now…that leaves only two of you, Sasha and Dawn. Which of you ladies would like to go next?" Darkrai asked.

Sasha glanced at Dawn, who nodded to let her know she could go next. The Absol smiled gratefully and glanced up at her lord. "Master…there isn't really much I want or need, as you know better than any other. However…there is one thing that is currently preying upon my mind, one thing which will not let me rest. How are my family doing without me? Is my mate doing well for himself? Are my children and grandchildren in good health and safe from the conflict which will soon engulf all of Kanjohenn?"

"Your family is fine, Sasha," Darkrai assured her. "Your mate's a bit lonely, and a few of the single womon have tried to proposition him, but he's too loyal—and terrified—to you to do anything behind your back. Your grandkids are starting to notice the opposite sex, and your youngest daughter's finally mated."

"Oh, that's wonderful!" Sasha said in relief. "I was worried she'd never find a male that suited her tastes."

"Er…the bad news is her mate is Absalom," Darkrai said.

Sasha stiffened. "What? Absalom? She knows I disapprove of him!"

"Yeah, which is why she waited until you were gone to mate with him," Darkrai said.

Sasha gnashed her teeth furiously. "Oh, that little…how _dare_ she…ooh! She's always been defiant and impetuous, but I never thought she'd go _this_ far! When I get home, we're going to exchange some words, her and I…"

"Would you like me to send her a really nasty nightmare in the meantime?" Darkrai asked. "You know…to give her a taste of what she's in for when you get back?"

"Would you? I would appreciate that," Sasha said.

"No problem. I love scaring the crap out of people!" Darkrai said eagerly.

"Sasha can be a scary person sometimes," Pikachu murmured.

Ash nodded. "I don't envy her daughter…or that 'Absalom' guy, whoever he is."

"Hmm…she's still not as terrifying a matriarch as my mother," Lily said.

"The sad thing is, you're probably right," Leo said.

"Is there anything else you want?" Darkrai asked.

"No, that should be enough. Thank you, Master," Sasha said.

"No problem," Darkrai said. "So, Dawn, that only leaves you." Briney coughed. "Right, and you, Captain. I haven't forgotten what we discussed. So, Dawn, what would you like? Since Paul's a Nihilator there's not much help I can give you in killing him, but is there something else you'd like?"

_There is, actually,_ Dawn said. _Is there any way you can give me a voice?_

"You want a voice?" asked the surprised Pikachu.

"Well, she's been mute all her life, it's not that big a surprise that she might want to be able to talk to us," Leo said.

"Well, yes, but I thought it was a big help to her job as a ninja," Pikachu said.

_It is, but it's frustrating only being able to talk in clicks and taps,_ Dawn said. _I want to be able to speak normally, like everyone else. And since no Joy has ever been able to heal my vocal cords, I was wondering if you, a god, could._

"Hmm, yes…I should be able to do something about that," Darkrai said. He extended a finger crackling with dark energy and tapped Dawn's throat. She shuddered as power deep and dark washed through her body. "There. That should do it."

Dawn opened her mouth, and…nothing happened. She blinked and tried again. Still nothing came out, not even a croak. _What is this? Nothing's changed!_ She clicked.

"Yeah, what gives?" Leo asked.

"Well, he did _something_, we all saw it," Ash said.

"But…what was it?" asked the confused Lily.

"Well, I'm a god of _death_, not healing," Darkrai pointed out. "So my ability to mend your voice is limited, especially considering how long it's been like that."

"Wait, then you mean you were leading her on?" Pikachu asked in disbelief.

"Of course not. I said my ability is _limited_, not that it doesn't exist," Darkrai said. "Think of it as a…delayed effect spell. She will get her voice, just…not right now."

_When, then?_ Dawn demanded.

"How do I put this…the Dark energy I just infused you with reacted with your Sneasel DNA and latent Dark-type powers," Darkrai said. "At the moment it won't do anything…but when you evolve into a Lopunny, the energy released by the transformation will be enough to fuel the spell and cause it to work its magic, not only mending your vocal cords but doing…a few other things, as well. I'll leave that to you to discover for yourself, though. I think you'll enjoy the changes. And so will Pikachu."

Pikachu blinked. "Huh?"

"Hehe, I know what he means," Leo said lecherously.

"What?" Tiny asked.

Leo paused. "Uh…I'll tell you later, kiddo. Or make Ash do it." Tiny and Ash frowned. Lily shuddered, getting an idea of what the Squirtle had meant.

Dawn blinked. _When I evolve?_

"Oh, that's not so bad then," Ash said. "When's she going to evolve?"

…_I'm not sure I can,_ Dawn confessed. _Bunearies only evolve into Lopunnies when we're really happy. Happiness is…something I have not experienced for a very long time._

"You weren't happy when we rescued you and added you to our team?" Lily asked, hurt.

_No, I was,_ Dawn said quickly. _Just…not happy enough to evolve._

"Well, what will it take to _make_ you happy enough to evolve?" Tiny asked.

…_I don't know,_ Dawn said.

"I have one idea," Briney said lewdly.

"Yeah, so do I," Leo said.

Everyone else gave them shocked looks. "Oh no, not _that!_" Lily cried. "Didn't she get enough of that when she was searching for the scroll 'How to kill an immortal?'"

Leo and Briney blinked in confusion. "Huh? What are you talking about? I was going to suggest we give her a big dose of laughing gas," Leo said.

"And I was going to suggest we tickle her," Briney said with a straight face.

"Oh. Um…never mind, then," Lily apologized, embarrassed.

_I am not sure either of those will be enough to make me evolve,_ Dawn said skeptically.

"They won't be," Darkrai said. "You will only evolve and find your voice when you experience true happiness…when you are happier than you have been in your entire life."

_True happiness? Then…_ Dawn's eyes widened. _Then I must kill Paul! Surely that will make me happy enough to induce evolution!_

"It might," Darkrai said. "Or it might not. Everyone finds happiness in different things."

_And I will be happy when Paul is finally dead,_ Dawn said zealously.

"I think most of us will be, though probably not as much as you," Sasha said.

"I'll probably come close," Ash said darkly. He really wasn't fond of Paul.

"Me too," Pikachu said, who hated Paul just as much, if not more.

"Hmm…I dunno, I still think it's gonna take a little more than that…" Leo murmured.

"Why?" Lily asked.

"Eh, just a gut feeling," the Squirtle said, surreptitiously glancing at Pikachu. "Because Dawn's a good person deep down…and good people are rarely 'truly happy' from killing someone. I mean, yeah, they might be happy, but not _that_ kind of happy. Usually."

"Oh," Lily said, not getting it.

"You can't give her any other advice on how to get this 'true happiness?'" the samurai asked Darkrai.

Darkrai shook his head. "Nope. It's something she has to find on her own, just like I said before. Isn't that how anything worth doing is accomplished?"

"Well, what if we-" Leo started.

"No Leo, drugging her won't help," Darkrai said.

Leo shrugged. "Was worth a try."

_No it wasn't_, said Dawn.

"I'd tell you to shut up except you're a ninja who could eviscerate me in the blink of an eye, so I won't," Leo said.

"Okay then," Darkrai said, clapping his hands together. "Ash knows how Misty is. Pikachu knows how screwed Ash probably is. Tiny knows how his mom is. Leo knows how to potentially become immortal. Lily knows Leo is possibly working on a way to break her curse. Sasha knows how her family is. Dawn knows she will one day have a voice. I think that's every-"

"Ahem," Briney coughed.

"Ah, yes, I almost forgot. Silly me," Darkrai said. "I said I'd bring you and your wife back together—without killing you—didn't I?"

"Yes," Briney said pointedly. "You did."

"All right." Darkrai snapped his fingers. "DARK VOID!" Red and black energy balls rained down from the sky. Before anyone could cry out or get out of the way, the balls struck them, causing crimson bubbles to appear briefly around them and put them to sleep before fading away.

Briney started. "What…what in the blazes did you just do?"

"Relax, they're sleeping unpeacefully," Darkrai said.

"Unpeacefully?" Briney cried.

"Hey, I'm the god of nightmares, you think anyone can get a restful sleep around me?" Darkrai asked. "Don't get your temper worked up, I only put them to sleep because this is a…private transaction. You wouldn't want them butting in on your time with Peeko, would you?"

"…I suppose not," Briney admitted.

"Plus, I'm not sure you'd want them to hear what price you're going to have to pay to see her again," Darkrai said.

Briney glared at the god. "What are you talking about?"

"You didn't think this was going to be for free, did you? Tearing a soul away from her well-deserved afterlife even for a short while isn't easy. If you want to see Peeko again, there's something I'm going to need you to do for me," Darkrai said.

Briney sighed. "Well, I already promised to take down the Nihilators…what, do you want my soul too?"

"Of course not," Darkrai scoffed. "Why does everyone keep assuming that's what I'm interested in? I facilitate the transfer of souls from life to death, I have no need to hold on to any save my own and my wife's. No, what I want from you is…something personal. A sacrifice. Something you don't want to do."

"I would go to the Abyss and back for Peeko," Briney said.

"You may have to, before this adventure is over, but that's not what I want from you," Darkrai said. "For the last ten years, you've been hunting down and killing the Pokemon who raped, tortured, and murdered your wife. Very soon, you're going to run into the last of them still alive."

"And you want me to kill him?" Briney guessed, brightening. "No problem, I was going to do that anyway, I thought this was going to be something-"

"No, Briney, I don't want you to kill him," Darkrai said. "I want you to spare him."

Briney froze. "What?"

"When you meet the mon who killed your wife, I want you to let him live," Darkrai said. "That is all I ask. Agree to spare his life, and I will allow you to see Peeko."

"But…but that's…that's preposterous!" Briney sputtered in disbelief. "How…how am I supposed to-"

"It's actually quite easy," Darkrai said. "All you have to do is _not kill him._ It's very simple. Most people do it every day without even thinking about it. Now it's your turn."

"But…but…what he did…I can't!" Briney shouted. "How can I just let that go? _Do you know what he did to her?_"

"Of course I do," Darkrai said calmly. "I know what he did. I know what _you've_ done. I know what EVERYONE'S done. After all, as the god of nightmares, do I not know what lurks in the darkest depths of the mortal heart?"

"Then if you know all that, how can you ask me to let him go after everything he's done?" Briney demanded.

Darkrai shrugged. "Everyone dies eventually, Briney. So will your wife's killer. I care not for the time, place, or cause, just that it happens sooner or later…and that _you_ have nothing to do with it."

"But…but I _promised_ Peeko-" Briney protested.

"No, you promised yourself. Peeko was unavailable for comment because she was dead," Darkrai said. "And now you're going to make a promise to me, which is much more important. You can either agree not to kill the mon who murdered your wife and see Peeko now, or you can choose not to and wait until you die to see her again…which could be a long while indeed. And don't even _think_ about promising not to kill him then going ahead and doing it anyway, because if you do that, I'll make sure you never see Peeko in this, or any life, ever again."

"I…I don't…I don't know…" Briney whispered.

"You don't know? You don't know?" Darkrai snapped, starting to lose his patience. "This isn't a very tough decision, Captain. All you really need to do is ask yourself this: is your love for your wife stronger than your thirst for revenge? If I were in your place, I would agree to anything to see her again. Hell, I already have. So tell me, Thaddeus…just how badly do you want to see Peeko again?"

"…All right," Briney said finally, looking tired and weak. "All right. I'll do it. Or not do it. When I see that…that son of a bitch…I'll let him go. I won't kill him. Just…" He pinched his brow, trying to hold back oily tears. "Just…let me see Peeko again…"

A smile slowly came to Darkrai's face. "You've made the right choice." He snapped his fingers, and a light appeared in the distance. "Now…enjoy what you've paid for."

The light grew brighter as it came closer. Briney's eye widened as a figure became visible in it. "Peeko?" he whispered.

…

Sometime later…

Team Aurabolt woke up several hours afterwards in the cabin where they had started, tired and aching all over from the uncomfortable positions they had fallen asleep in, their minds still reeling from the horrible nightmares they had just experienced.

Ash had dreamed he had been fighting Oblivion's Shadow, and knocked the villain's mask off only to find his own face staring back at him. Leo criticized Ash for having such a clichéd and unoriginal dream. Ash hit him in reply.

Pikachu had dreamed that everyone's worst fears came true and Ash turned into a Void Pokemon, and to save everyone else, Pikachu had been left with no choice but to kill his brother and best friend.

Leo had dreamed he had woken up and found that his journey with Team Aurabolt had itself been a dream brought on by playing too many video games, and he was a morbidly obese nerd (still) living in his parent's basement in a world without magic or adventure…or friends. Even after waking up, he still wasn't entirely sure which had been the dream and which was reality.

Sasha dreamt her family had been murdered, tortured, and raped by barbarians, who had attacked while she was too far away to stop them. Her loved ones died cursing her name.

Tiny had dreamed that his father, a shadowy figure in a mask, had killed his mother.

Lily had dreamed that she had been recaptured by her mother, who gleefully killed her friends before her eyes and tortured her more horribly than ever before, promising her suffering would never end.

Dawn had dreamed that she had finally killed Paul…but she had been so focused on his death that she had been unaware that her friends and master had been killed in the collateral damage. There had been nothing left for her to do but kill herself for her failure.

And Briney…when asked what he had gone through, he only smiled and told them that it was none of their business…and from the spark in his eyes and spring in his movements, they knew he had had a very good dream indeed. They were extremely envious.

…

Still later, in Pokemon Square…

Scotty's office felt very crowded. This was probably because not just Scotty, but Raiki, Delia, Matthias, Pichu, Sapphire, Junior, Collette, Aaron, Sabrina, Nuken, and Chuck were all crammed around the Abra's computer. "Is it on now?" Raiki asked.

"No," said Scotty.

"Is it on now?" asked Raiki.

"No," said Scotty.

"Is it on now?" Raiki asked.

"For the last time, _no!_" Scotty snarled.

"But there's a light blinking on the little camera thingy," Raiki said, pointing at the small webcam sitting on top of the monitor, which they had _finally_ managed to obtain.

"That's to show it's plugged in and is receiving power, ye daft fool! It won't be on until the light turns from orange tae green, which won't happen until this blasted computer finishes booting up and is able to get the voice-over-Internet program working properly, which would be a _lot_ bloody easier if the Mayor hadnae forced me tae make budget cuts so I couldnae get a new computer," Scotty complained.

"I thought he cut your budget because you were wasting too much of it on online bidding wars and the stock exchange," Chuck said.

"Which I might have gotten a lot more money out of if a certain someone hadnae refused to tell me what the winning bids and stocks were," Scotty said, glaring at Sabrina.

"That sort of thing is immoral, and not what a seer should waste her talents on," Sabrina said loftily. "And besides, I didn't want to have to split the profits with you or interfere with my own stocks. How else will I ever make enough money to afford that around-the-world cruise I've been planning to take for a while now?" Everyone sweatdropped.

"Okay, the computer's finished booting up. Now I just need tae log on tae the program," Scotty said, typing in a username and password and pressing 'OK'. The login box transformed to say 'Logging On' and the mouse turned into an hourglass. They waited. And waited. And waited.

"Why is it taking so long?" Junior whined.

"Because my Internet connection is piss, that's why!" Scotty roared. "Again, thanks tae the blasted budget cuts! How does that skinflint of a Mayor keep getting into office? I certainly didnae vote for him!"

"Actually, I don't remember voting for him either," Raiki said.

"Me neither," said Chuck.

Delia frowned. "Actually, I don't know if we've _ever_ voted, period."

"Then how did he become Mayor?" Matthias asked.

There was a long pause. "That's…a very good question," Chuck said.

Nuken sighed. "And people wonder why we're an Empire rather than a democracy…"

"That's something we'll have tae deal with later because right now we're online," Scotty said, sitting up in his seat. "Now I just have tae input the web address Leo sent, press 'call', and…"

An image of a ringing phone appeared on the screen. The sound of a ringing phone echoed through the office, too, and Pichu reflexively picked up the one on Scotty's desk. "Hello? Hey, they hung up," he complained. "That wasn't nice of them."

Collette facepalmed. "That was the computer, Uncle Pichu."

"Oh. I knew that," Pichu lied.

"Even I knew better than that, and I'm still half-worried that I'll lose a piece of my soul whenever someone takes a picture of me," Matthias muttered.

"That's silly," Sabrina said. "It's _mirrors_ that steal pieces of your soul, not cameras. Why else do you think fashion models always look so skinny? It's because they're always looking into them!"

"I thought it was because they starved themselves," Delia said.

"That too," Sabrina said.

"Why is it taking so long?" Junior whined again.

"Because my connection is piss and it's possible they might not be online. Which is odd, because Leo said he's _always_ on-" Scotty started, when suddenly a window popped open on the screen and revealed a horrifying visage.

"HELLO?" the monstrous face shouted.

"Ack!" Scotty yelped, nearly falling out of his seat.

"Scotty, you fool, you dialed the wrong number and called up someone in the Abyss, like what happened in that one late-night horror movie!" Pichu cried.

"You mean the one I told you _not_ to watch?" Delia said, glaring at her youngest son.

Pichu paled. "Er…it was Matthias's idea!"

"It was not!" Matthias screeched in protest.

"Yeah, it was my idea," Sapphire said. They stared at her. "What? I like horror movies."

"That's not a demon, its just Ash, with his face too close to the camera," Sabrina said.

This was proven to be the case when they heard another voice say, "Ash, get away from the screen, you're too close to the camera! And you don't need to speak so loudly, they can hear you just fine."

"Oh, sorry," the face said, backing away and resolving itself into the much less grotesque face of Ash. "Hi everyone."

Scotty sighed in relief. "Phew! It's just ye, Ash. Ye gave me quite a fright. I didnae know a Lucario's snout could be so terrifying before now." Aaron frowned at him.

"Dad!" Collette, Junior, and Sapphire cheered happily.

"Hey there, champ!" Raiki said.

"Hello, dear!" Delia said.

"Hey Big Brother! Good to see you again!" Pichu said.

"You too, Pichu…and everyone else, too!" Ash said, smiling. "Oh, and Nuken." The Shedinja glowered. "And Aaron…I'm happy to finally speak to you face to face."

"As am I, Ash, as am I," Aaron said. "You don't know how good it is to see another Lucario again…there are so few of us left, and to know that one as young as you is still out there fighting the good fight and training others in the way of Aura gives me hope for our future." Ash and Tiny (who Aaron had been referring to as well) blushed.

"And you don't look even remotely like a psychotic homicidal monster, like Pichu said you would," Matthias said, glaring accusingly at Pichu. Ash glared at the mouse as well.

"Pichu, what have we told you about telling crazy stories about your brother again?" Raiki asked sternly.

"You said I couldn't tell crazy stories about _Pikachu_, you never said anything about Ash," Pichu pointed out.

"…Well, I am now. Cut it out," Raiki said.

Pichu sighed. "Fine…"

"You're looking tired, Ash. Are you all right?" Chuck asked.

"Have you been eating right and sleeping well?" Delia asked in concern.

"Of course he hasnae been sleeping well, I'd imagine anyone would have bad dreams if they knew that any moment they could transform into an engine of destruction," Scotty said. Ash groaned.

"Don't worry, I have not foreseen him doing that…at least, not in the near future," Sabrina said. Ash scowled.

"Would you stop bringing that up? He probably doesn't need to keep being reminded of that," Aaron said.

"Thanks, Aaron," Ash said gratefully.

"I wish more people would be as considerate about that," Pikachu said as he appeared next to Ash on the screen.

"Sweetheart!" Delia said delightedly.

"Ah, and there's my other boy, your second half…doesn't seeing them together remind you of us at that age, old friend?" Raiki asked Aaron.

"I think you were fatter back then," Aaron said.

"Aye, I distinctly remember that," Scotty agreed.

"I had to work you to the bone to get you in shape," Chuck said. "And you've been missing sessions at the dojo, I think you're getting a little chubby again."

Raiki glared at him. "Well, maybe if my wife didn't make such delicious meals…"

"Don't you dare pin this on me, I keep trying to get you to eat healthier, but you always sneak high-fat snacks loaded with grease when you think I'm not looking," Delia said.

"It's Pichu's fault! He keeps sneaking candy into the house…and I have to dispose of it _somehow_," Raiki said.

"So _that's_ what you've been doing with all the stuff you confiscate from me?" Pichu cried. "You hypocritical fatass!"

"I'm your father and master of our household, I can do as I please," Raiki said.

"No you can't," Delia said.

"Yes dear," Raiki said, acquiescing. "But that doesn't mean he can get away with calling me a fatass, so I forbid Pichu from watching television for a week."

"Awww, mon!" Pichu complained.

Pikachu rolled his eyes. "I see nothing much has changed while I've been gone…"

"It certainly hasn't," Collette said.

"Well, Matthias learned how to stand on two legs and use a sword," Junior said.

"That's right, I have," Matthias said.

"He did say nothing _much_," Sapphire pointed out. Matthias pouted.

"Hey other Big Brother! Have you made a name for yourself yet?" Pichu asked.

"No Pichu, I haven't earned one yet. Dad still says I haven't gotten one yet…despite my slaying Yamatorochi for the second time, having defeated countless villains, rescued lots of people, and saved the world at least once," Pikachu said.

"Tiny killed Yamatorochi," Ash pointed out.

"No, I did, he just destroyed the bell," Pikachu said stubbornly.

"Hey, it's not my fault Sabrina prophesized the day you were born that you would not be worthy of a name until you accomplished a feat greater than that of any of our ancestors put together," Raiki said.

Sabrina nodded. "And you have not accomplished that feat yet…though it will happen in the near future."

"Well, I guess that's something to shoot for…" Pikachu muttered.

"And it puts a lot less pressure on me, since it means I don't have to work nearly as hard to earn _my_ name!" Pichu said smugly.

"Isn't that also because a lot less is expected of you since you're the second son and not the one chosen to wield the sacred sword?" Junior asked. Pichu glared at him.

"Now that's not true, we all expect great things from Pichu," Raiki said. Pichu smirked.

"Aye, just not as good as what we expect from Pikachu," Scotty said. Pichu growled.

"Pikachu, have you been keeping an eye on your brother and the rest of your friends?" Delia asked.

"I've been trying to, Mom…but the fact that they often don't want to listen to me-or even more often, prove me _wrong_—makes it kind of difficult," Pikachu said. "But you can ask them about that yourself, because here they are. They've been looking at me like they wanted to join in for the last several minutes."

"Yeah, totally!" someone said from off-screen. "Come on, stop Grumpigging the computer, it's mine anyway! I wanna meet the super-cool Aura Guardian already!"

"And I want to meet my siblings," said another voice.

"And…and I guess I should talk to my father…" said yet another voice.

Nuken stiffened. (Well, more than usual.) "Is that…my daughter?"

"Probably," Chuck said.

"This should be delightfully awkward," Scotty said cheerfully. Nuken glared at him.

The image on the screen shifted and jumbled as Ash and Pikachu adjusted the camera on their end and stepped back to reveal the rest of their team. "Everyone, I'd like you to meet the rest of Team Aurabolt," Ash announced.

"You already know Sasha, I believe, so say hi to Leo, Tiny, Lily, Dawn, and Captain Briney," Pikachu said. "And guys, these are my parents, Raiki and Delia Thunderblade, my little brother(s) Pichu and Matthias, my nieces and nephew Collette, Sapphire, and Junior, the legendary Aura Guardian Aaron, the seer Sabrina, our Rescue Team coordinator Scotty, our trainer Chuck, and Nuken of the Draconian Empire."

"What up, yo?" Leo said, trying to sound cool and failing.

"Greetings," Sasha said.

"H-hi, everyone," Tiny said nervously.

"Um…hello," Lily said, looking even more nervous.

_I am honored to meet you,_ Dawn clicked.

"Hey," Briney said offhandedly. He stared at Scotty. Scotty stared back. Both of them thought, _My moustache is better than that guy's._

"Huh, the Squirtle could lose weight too. Jeez, wherever I look these days I see sagging bellies and flabby muscles. Isn't anyone exercising anymore?" Chuck complained.

"Hey, I've already lost a lot!" Leo protested. "What with adventuring and all."

"I've seen the photos you've sent us, you haven't lost much since you started traveling with Ash and Pikachu," Chuck said.

Leo scowled. "Hey, I may still be a little chubby-"

"A little?" Briney snarked.

Leo ignored him. "But I'm still a crucial member of the team, and I've got a corny prophecy from a genuine seer that proves it!"

"My prophecies aren't corny," Sabrina said, affronted.

"They kind of are, actually," Aaron said apologetically.

The Xatu huffed. "Well, excuse _me_ for not interpreting the incredibly complicated and intricate workings of my visions in a manner more palatable to your ears!"

"Okay, you're excused," Raiki said. Sabrina gave him a splitting headache. "Ow…"

"…Lily. You know…who I am, do you not?" Nuken asked, ignoring everyone else and focusing on the anxious-looking Misdreavus.

"…Yes. You are my father. Nuken," Lily said, looking at the ground, unwilling to meet her father's eyes…for fear of what she might see there.

"It…it is good to see you in the ectoplasm," the Shedinja said.

"I'm glad," Lily said faintly.

A long silence passed. Everyone fidgeted, feeling rather awkward. Finally, Nuken, struggling to come up with something to say to the daughter he'd spent the last three hundred years looking for, asked, "Are you…doing well? With your friends?"

Lily showed some emotion at this. "Y-yes, very much so. I don't think I could be happier anywhere else but with them." Her teammates smiled and gave her fond looks at this.

"It's…rather dangerous, though," Nuken said lamely. "You are certain you would not rather come somewhere that you can be safe? And not…have to worry about running into your mother…or dying…or anything like that?"

"Danger is something I'm used to," Lily said. "And…even if it were safer, my friends wouldn't be there, so I couldn't possibly enjoy it."

Nuken considered suggesting she get new friends, but got the feeling that wouldn't go over very well. "I see. I'm…I'm glad you're happy. But…er…when this…quest or whatever you are on is over…where will you go?"

"I haven't really thought about it," Lily admitted. "I figured I would stay with the others or something."

"We'd be welcome to have you at our place," Delia offered, earning her a death glare from Nuken.

Raiki nodded. "Sure, we're always looking for more additions to the family."

"Isn't the house getting a little too small for so many people?" Matthias asked.

"We can make additions to that, too," Raiki said unworriedly.

"R-really? I would…appreciate that, thank you," Lily said gratefully. Leo frowned. He had been planning to invite her to stay in Turtle Town when everything was over.

Nuken was unhappy as well, because he had had plans for Lily too, and the thought that she might want to live with someone else had not occurred to him. "You do not wish to move into the Sky Tower? As…as my…daughter, you are entitled to a certain…lifestyle and place of prestige in the Draconian Empire. You would have wealth, luxury, all the things that have been denied you so far under your…_mother's_ care. You would be one of the most powerful and desirable Pokemon on the planet."

Lily gave him a puzzled look. "None of that means anything to me. I don't want any of that. I just want to be with my friends. That's all I care about."

Her friends smiled at this. "We care about you a lot too, Lily," Pikachu said with a grin.

"The fact that you'd choose us over all that means a lot," Ash said.

"Though I would've considered his offer," Leo complained. "I mean, you could still be one of the most powerful Pokemon in the world _and_ our friend."

"…I see. If that is your decision, then…I shall abide by it," Nuken said quietly, doing a rather poor job of hiding his disappointment. Lily didn't seem to notice. He couldn't help feeling a sting of anger and despair. While it was true they had never met before now, was the prospect of living with him truly so frightening she would be happier living with a friend than in the Sky Tower, one of the most palatial residences on Earth? Well, he supposed he did have a bit of a reputation…and maybe some of the wording in his e-mails had been a little harsh…but was she really that afraid of him? How badly had Bellum mistreated her if she was unwilling to trust him, her other parent? When he got the chance, he would have to ask Lily if she'd be willing to give him a detailed account of her time with Bellum…so he would know exactly which crimes to add to the ice witch's already very long rap sheet.

There was another tense silence. Sabrina cleared her throat several times, but nobody spoke up, not sure what to say next. Finally she got fed up and kicked Scotty. "What? Oh, uh, and that must be Dawn..." Scotty observed, glancing at the Buneary.

_That is correct,_ Dawn said, glancing briefly at Nuken. An unreadable message passed between their eyes. He nodded imperceptibly. That was all the interaction they were willing to show to the others. Although it had been made (sort of) public knowledge that the Dragon's Head clan served the Draconian Empire, Dawn's status as the last of the Dragon's Claw ninjas had still been concealed from the majority of Pokemon Square, both because it had been deemed unnecessary for them to know that and because Nuken was not entirely willing to acknowledge a ninja who had essentially run away from her obligations to the Empire to play games of vengeance as someone who worked for him. If she did a good job protecting his daughter, however, that might change. _I am doing my best to protect the others._

"That is…good…" the Shedinja murmured, the unspoken reply being, _Make sure to protect Lily, too, since I cannot. Since she will not let me…_

"Congrats on finally landing a girlfriend, Big Brother!" Pichu chirped.

Pikachu turned red. "She's not my girlfriend! She's my vassal!"

"Oh, is that what they're calling them these days?" Chuck asked. He and several of the others laughed. Pikachu fumed.

"So son, have you…done anything with her yet?" Raiki asked. "I've heard that ninjas know all sorts of-"

"Raiki!" Delia said sharply.

"What? It's not like I've ever done it with any of them—more's the pity—I've just heard a few things, that's all," Raiki said.

"What sorts of things?" Tiny asked innocently.

There was an awkward pause. "Ah, I haven't gotten around to telling him about the Pidgeot and the Beedrill yet," Ash said awkwardly.

"You're going to have to sooner or later," Raiki said. "Otherwise, I'll have to, like I did for the rest of your kids." Collette, Junior, and Sapphire shuddered in horror.

"Or I could do it, if you're unavailable," Leo offered. Lily shuddered in horror.

"I'll…see what I can do," Ash said uneasily.

"And no, I have not done it with her, nor do I ever intend to," Pikachu said.

"What, not ever?" Raiki asked in disappointment.

"No!" Pikachu insisted. Dawn glanced at him but said nothing.

"Awww. You don't know what you're missing," Raiki complained.

"And you do?" Delia asked.

"No, but I do," Chuck said. They stared at him. "What? I went to lots of places and fought lots of people back in my youth. And that's not all I've done, too, if you know what I mean…"

"…That's wonderful, Chuck. Really, that is," Aaron said flatly.

"So, how many of those rumors are true?" Leo asked.

"Well-" Chuck started.

"WE ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT THIS NOW!" Pikachu shouted.

Pichu rolled his eyes. "You're such a prude…"

"Yeah, really," Collette agreed.

"Yeah, I was never that stiff when I was your age," Raiki commented.

"You certainly weren't," Delia agreed wistfully. Leo and Ash snickered, Pikachu's eye twitched, and Dawn wondered whether this counted as grounds to kill someone to avenge her master's honor or not.

"Hey, you're Tiny, right?" Pichu asked, spotting the anxious Larvitar.

"Um, yes, that's me," Tiny said.

"Hello there, Tiny! Welcome to the family! You can call us Grandma and Grandpa!" Delia said excitedly, gesturing to herself and Raiki.

"We're happy to meet you!" Collette said.

"Yeah, now I'm not Ash's only son! That means my sisters can stop picking on me for being a boy!" Junior said happily.

"We don't pick on you because you're a boy, we pick on you because you're the stupid one," Sapphire said.

"Oh, okay," Junior said. There was a pause. "Wait a minute…"

"I-it's nice to meet you too. You're okay with me joining your family?" Tiny asked, relief showing on his face.

"Definitely!" Collette said.

"Admittedly, it's getting a little crowded in the house—and we have _another_ baby on the way—but the more family, the merrier!" Pichu said.

"Plus, that means I'm no longer the new guy, so maybe Raiki will be less focused on trying to teach me how to use a sword," Matthias said hopefully.

"Nope, I'm still working you till you drop," Raiki said.

"What? But why?" Matthias protested.

"The new kid's across the ocean. How'm I supposed to train him properly? By sending him instructional videos and stuff?" Raiki asked.

"And besides, Daddy's already occupying most of my time teaching me Aura, so I don't know if I have room for swordsmonship," Tiny said.

Aaron nodded approvingly. "I'm glad you're taking your training so seriously. Most Aura users your age who aren't Riolus usually don't manifest their powers until they're much older. This shows you have great potential."

Tiny blushed. "Th-thanks…"

Matthias scowled. "Some Pokemon get all the luck…"

"Don't think you get off the hook, kiddo, once things settle down and you come home to stay, I'm going to teach you how to use a sword, too," Raiki informed Tiny.

"What? Why?" Tiny cried in surprise.

"Everyone under my roof learns how to use a sword. That's just the way it is," Raiki said.

"Except for me, since my arms are too short, and because I won't have any arms at all after my next evolution" Collette said.

"Or me, since I don't have any arms," Sapphire said. "At least, not yet. When I get some, maybe that'll change."

"Or me, because I also don't have arms, and the last time I tried holding a sword in my trunk I nearly put out an eye and cut my ear off," Junior said.

"Or Ash, because…hey, why _didn't _you teach Ash how to use a sword?" Pichu asked.

"Because he almost brought the house down," Raiki said. "And nearly took off my head."

"I said I was sorry," Ash muttered. "And I've gotten better…sort of…"

"Doesn't that energy blade you can make with Bone Rush count as a sword?" Leo asked.

"No," Pikachu said.

"But-" Leo started.

"No," Pikachu repeated.

Leo blinked. "Uh…right…"

"I'm pleased you've learned that move, Ash," Aaron said. "How is your training going?"

"It's going all right," Ash said. "I've been doing those exercises you and the book recommended to control my emotions. I think they're working…so far…"

"They'll have to, if you're going to try that thing Darkrai was talking about to make you a Shining Pokemon," Leo said.

"And so Sasha and I won't have to kill you," Briney said. Sasha nodded. Ash groaned.

"What's this about killing my baby?" Delia cried in alarm.

"And what was that about Darkrai?" Nuken asked with a frown.

"Today, we performed a séance to summon Darkrai," Lily explained.

Aaron frowned. "What? Why would you do something as dangerous as that?"

"Aye, he's the god of death!" Scotty agreed.

"We had nothing better to do," Briney said with a shrug. The Pokemon in the office sweatdropped.

"We also wanted some information, and he was able to provide it to us," Sasha said smoothly. They had agreed not to mention her being Darkrai's priestess or how Darkrai had tasked them with destroying the Nihilators and rescuing Cresselia because that might trigger the death spells he had cast on them to keep his secrets a secret. It would probably be all right to discuss some of the other things he had shared with them, though.

The Pokemon in Scotty's office perked up at this. "Oh, was he able to tell you where Nihilator HQ is located, then?" Raiki asked.

"Or who Oblivion's Shadow is and how he's connected to Ash?" Chuck asked.

"Or where you can find the remaining Star Badges?" Nuken asked.

"Or how we can trounce those barbarian scum and keep Pokemon Square safe and sound?" Scotty asked.

"Or how to restore Latias and Rayquaza to their full power?" Sabrina asked.

"Or what Team Rocket is up to and where Giovanni is?" Aaron asked.

"Um…no, he…wouldn't tell us any of that stuff," Ash said awkwardly.

"What? Why not?" Delia asked with a frown.

"I dunno. He just…didn't," Ash said with a shrug.

"We asked him and everything, but he said he couldn't tell us," Pikachu said.

"Why?" asked the perplexed Chuck.

"Something about fate and some big grand design and the usual TS," Leo said vaguely.

Sabrina sighed. "I really shouldn't be surprised…"

Aaron nodded. "Darkrai has never been the most forthcoming of legendaries."

"That is not to say Darkrai was not helpful, he just was unable to tell us things of that nature," Sasha said hurriedly to defend her master.

"Well, I'm rather annoyed that he couldn't give us easy answers like that, but…okay, I'll bite. What _did_ he tell you?" Raiki asked.

They told him. "Ah," he said after a moment. "Yeah, that is pretty interesting."

"Ye're T-Bone's son?" Scotty cried in alarm, gawking at Tiny. "He _spawned?"_

"Y-yeah…sorry…" Tiny whimpered.

"You have no reason to be sorry, Tiny," Ash said, looking angrily at Scotty. "We can't choose our parents."

"No, we certainly can't," Lily murmured, and Nuken wondered if she was referring to Bellum, or to him.

"He had a kid? So what? That's no big deal," Pichu said. "Not to us, anyway."

Tiny blinked in surprise. "It's not?"

"Heck no! You're one of us now! You're family!" Junior said.

"Even if you were born to different parents, by hatching you and taking you in, Ash made you a Thunderblade," Collette explained. "We may not be related by blood…but we're still family all the same."

"We don't care who laid your egg or conceived you. The only thing that matters is that you're our brother," Sapphire said. "The fact that your birth parents may still be out there is of little consequence to us, since Ash and Grandma and Grandpa and the rest of us are all the family you need."

"Th-thanks…" Tiny said, touched, though he found himself wondering what would happen when his birth mother was rescued, cured, and came looking for him. Would the Thunderblades let her take him back? Or would they insist that he stay with them? Matthias, who also still had living family—he hoped—frowned, having similar concerns.

"It doesn't matter to us that T-Bone was your father, just like it doesn't matter to us that one of Lily's parents is an insane psychotic utterly terrifying specter of wrath and hatred…and the other is Bellum," Raiki said. Nuken glared, and Lily sweatdropped.

"We do not hold you accountable for the actions of your father, Tiny," Aaron assured the Larvitar. "But now that we know there is a connection between you…a great many things begin to make sense…"

"Such as why T-Bone betrayed us in the first place," Chuck agreed.

"I think it's rather sweet, actually…he turned his back on his town and his best friends all to save the people who were most precious to him," Delia said.

"I don't care if he did it to save the sainted Mew Herself, what he did was unforgivable!" Scotty shouted angrily.

"We do not disagree with you, Scotty. T-Bone will be captured and brought to justice," Aaron assured the Abra.

"Even if he had good—sort of—intentions, he still has to pay for what he's done," Raiki agreed...although privately he wondered what he would have done in T-Bone's place. He knew what it meant to be a parent. "We'll make sure of it."

"Ye had better…" Scotty growled. "For Allen's sake." He glared at Briney. "I envy ye. At least ye got the chance to speak with yer wife again. I doubt I'll ever get the opportunity to see Allen again in this lifetime…"

_You might not be so envious if you knew what the price to see him again might be,_ Briney thought to himself.

"That aside, I'm relieved to know that Mom's okay," Sapphire commented.

Collette nodded. "I mean, yeah, I was sure she was still alive, but…I never thought she'd be in _space_ of all places."

"That's so cool!" Junior agreed. "I bet she's going to have all sorts of cool stories to tell us when she gets home…and presents."

"Is that all you can think about?" Collette scolded.

"I like getting presents," Junior said defensively.

Pichu nodded in agreement. "Who doesn't?"

"So Dad, when Mom's back, are you finally going to marry her already?" Junior asked.

Ash turned red, aware that his friends were looking at him and doing their best not to burst into laughter. "Uh, well…that is…"

"I wish you'd just ask that nice girl to marry you already, you've really been dragging this out for far too long," Delia complained.

"Yeah, and besides, I can't abide for my grandkids to be bastards for much longer," Raiki agreed. "If you marry Misty, that'll legitimize them."

"Does that mean he'll have to marry my mother too?" Tiny asked. "To legitimize me?"

There was an awkward pause. "Er…possibly…" Scotty said slowly.

"I rather doubt Misty would allow Ash to marry anyone but her," Chuck said.

Collette nodded. "Yeah, Mom's selfish that way."

"But me and Misty aren't…I mean…we weren't going to…" Ash stammered.

"Ash, you're going to have to marry her sooner or later. You don't want the kids growing up thinking you're divorced or something, do you?" Leo asked jokingly.

"Yes, it would be so much easier for everyone if you just married her already," Pikachu said. Ash glared at him.

"Oh, and we can have a double wedding, with you and your ninja as the second couple!" Delia gushed happily, causing Pikachu to choke and Ash to grin wickedly.

"Mom, she's my vassal, not my girlfriend!" Pikachu repeated.

Delia frowned. "Well that won't do, you know we don't approve of that sort of thing in this family. You're either going to have to marry her or she's going to have to leave."

"But she _can't_ leave; she said she'd kill herself if she did!" Pikachu protested.

Dawn nodded. _That's right, I did._

"Then that settles it. We'll have the wedding once this whole mess is settled and you come back to town," Delia said triumphantly. "And if she hasn't gotten her voice back by then, this will certainly do the trick!"

"But-but-but-" Pikachu protested.

"Congratulations, Uncle Pikachu!" Junior said.

"Yeah, we thought you'd never get married!" Sapphire agreed.

"Of course, that means you'll have to move out to start your new family. Can I have your room?" Pichu asked.

"Way to go, Pikachu!" Leo said, slapping the dumbstruck samurai on the back.

"I always thought there was something between the two of you," Briney said sagely.

"Oh, it's going to be a wonderful wedding! And my first. Um, I'm invited, right?" Lily asked hopefully.

"I'll be your best mon, of course," Ash said.

"Assuming you're not the co-groom?" Sasha asked.

"…Shut up," Ash grumbled.

"…I don't get it," said a confused Tiny.

Matthias sighed. "Neither do I, but it's something you get used to in this family."

_If it is your will that we be wed, then I shall abide by your decision,_ Dawn said, after glancing briefly at Nuken, who gave no indication that this arranged marriage bothered him. He didn't really care, to be honest, so long as it didn't interfere in Dawn's duty of protecting his daughter.

Pikachu stared at Dawn in horror. "Dawn! You can't mean you're going _along_ with this, do you? I'm your master, and I'm against this! Doesn't that mean you have to be too?"

Dawn shrugged. _Normally, yes, but…they _are_ your parents. That means they have authority over me as well. I see no reason to go against their wishes, and I have no objection to being wed to you. It would not hinder my duties as your vassal._

"But…but…" Pikachu looked at his father desperately. "Dad…you can't let this happen, can you? She's a _ninja!_ We're supposed to be enemies with them, not marry them!"

"Yes, a ninja…one with great skills and strong genes due to her infusion of Sneasel DNA" Raiki pointed out. "That will make your children strong in body and mind, which is everything a grandfather can ask for! Oh, and might go a way towards healing the rift between our professions or something like that."

"But Grandpa, aren't we strong in body and mind?" Junior asked.

"You're strong in body, your sisters are strong in mind," Delia said kindly.

"Oh, okay," Junior said. He paused. "Wait…"

"Not to mention that when they give you grandkids, you could train them to be a new breed of warrior!" Leo suggested. "Like ninjarais…or samujas…the sort of thing that results from mixing something awesome with something else that's equally awesome to get something that's pure awesomeness embodied!"

"Ooh, I like the way you think," Raiki said. "That would be so cool!"

"I know, right?" Leo said giddily. Everyone gave them disturbed looks.

Pikachu groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose, resolving never to let his father talk with Leo again. "Look, can we talk about this when we get home? I'm not exactly receptive to the idea of an arranged marriage."

"It's an arranged marriage, it doesn't matter how you feel about it," Sabrina pointed out.

"I'll start making the marriage contract sword right away just to be safe," Raiki said. "Though I'm not sure there's much we can do in the way of a dowry, what with her family being…you know. Dead and all."

_That is all right. I do not require much. I only seek to fulfill my duties, and if being married will assist in them, that is all I need,_ Dawn said.

"Awww, that's sweet," Delia said. "I'm going to love having you as a daughter-in-law!"

"Yeah, she's cheap without being too…well, cheap," Raiki agreed.

"Is it too early to call her Aunt Dawn?" Sapphire wondered.

"And you still haven't told me if I could have your room or not!" Pichu persisted. Pikachu facepalmed. There were times when he hated his family.

"They're all loonies, the lot of them…" Scotty muttered.

"Yeah, but what can you do about it?" Chuck said.

"I wish I knew," the Abra grumbled.

"Leo," Nuken said, deciding to change the subject. "You said you had an…idea on how to cure my daughter's condition. What is it?"

Leo fidgeted. "Uh, I'm not sure I want to say in front of Lily. I'm afraid it won't work if I do." _Plus, if I say it out loud, I'm afraid you'll order Dawn to kill me in my sleep._

"This is my daughter's unlife we're talking about here, and the fate of her soul," Nuken said angrily, temper rising. "I think that I should be privy to any plan to save her from the clutches of Giratina, should I not?"

"He has a point," Briney admitted.

"Um…look, can I email it to you later? It's kind of…private…" Leo said uneasily, aware of everyone's eyes on him. "And I would probably need your permission to go through with it, anyway…"

"Is that so." It was not a question. "Tell me…Leo, was it? Is this idea of yours…what I think it is?"

"That depends, sir," Leo said slowly. "I'm not Psychic, so I don't know what you're thinking. So I can't guarantee anything."

"I could if I were there, but I'm not, so…" Briney shrugged.

"I'm sure that Leo's idea, whatever it is, is something that will work," Lily said, meeting her father's gaze for the first time. "He's very clever. If he thinks he has a solution, then…then I believe him." Leo smiled bashfully. Briney hid a grin.

"Really." Nuken grunted. "Very well. Send me this idea of yours. I will…consider it."

Leo sighed in relief. "No problem, sir."

"And, Leo…if this idea fails, or is some attempt to take advantage of my daughter-" Nuken started.

"I know, I know," Leo said. "But it's not. I swear."

"It had better not be, for your sake…" Nuken snarled. Lily looked at him anxiously. She was sure that Leo only had her best interests at heart. Her father wouldn't hurt him…would he? She wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer.

"And Ash…was the information Darkrai gave you about becoming a Shining Pokemon any help?" Sabrina asked.

Ash sighed. "Maybe…it was a little more information than the book or Aaron were able to tell me about the subject."

"I'm sorry Ash, but Shining Pokemon are not something I have ever known much about. Neither did my mentor, Riley of Iron Island. All I know is bits and pieces I've learned from word of mouth or old legends, much like you," Aaron said apologetically.

"That's okay, Aaron. At least now I have some idea of what I can do to cure myself," Ash said.

"Be careful, though, Ash. Confronting one's darkness is no easy feat…and even if you win, you may not come out unscarred," Aaron said, a paw touching his blindfold.

Raiki blinked, and everyone stared at the Lucario in astonishment. "Wait a minute…are you saying that _you_-"

"I tried to overstep my limits and become something I was not," Aaron said quietly. "And paid the price for my arrogance. We must always remember…that the darkness within can never be underestimated."

"I didn't even ken ye _had_ a dark side," confessed the stunned Scotty.

"Everyone does," Sabrina said. "Purity of heart isn't the same thing as being free of sin. We all have parts of ourselves we are not fond of…and only the greatest of us can overcome them and become the best we can possibly be."

"And only the best of the best can survive without a high cost," Aaron continued.

"Wonderful…" Leo muttered.

Lily sighed. "Oh dear…"

Ash sweatdropped. "Well…great, that makes me even more worried."

"That's an awful lot of pressure to put on Ash," Pikachu complained.

Aaron shrugged. "That's just the way it works. However, I have confidence that Ash will be able to prevail over his darkness."

"But how? I mean, if _you_ couldn't become a Shining Pokemon, then how am I supposed to?" Ash asked.

"You may be younger and less experienced than I…but there is something about you, Ash. A strong feeling of destiny. If anyone can do it…I believe that you can," Aaron said.

Sabrina nodded in agreement. "Much of what I have seen of the future revolves to some extent around you. That implies that something special is in store for you. And I doubt that fate would be to turn into a Void Pokemon and destroy all that you hold dear."

Raiki nodded in agreement. "Yeah, you're my son! There's no way you'd ever do something like that!"

"Regardless of what he did when he was a human?" Scotty asked.

"…Well, those were extenuating circumstances," Raiki said.

"And it was a long time ago," Delia added.

"What if he gets himself into more of those?" Scotty pressed.

"I'm sure Ash won't allow what happened last time to happen again," Chuck said firmly.

"Yeah, Dad would never allow himself to do something like that!" Junior said.

"Especially because if he did, Mom would kill him," Collette said.

"That too," Junior agreed.

"You saved my life," Matthias said. "Someone who's going to become a psychotic homicidal monster would never do that. I believe in you, too."

Ash smiled gratefully. "Thanks, guys. The fact that all of you believe in me means a lot."

"Yeah…but if you _do_ go crazy and they have to kill you, can I have your room?" Pichu asked. Everyone facefaulted.

"What's wrong with your room?" Raiki demanded.

"I have to share it with Matthias! He snores and chews in his sleep!" Pichu whined.

"I do not!" Matthias said indignantly.

"You nearly bit my tail off the other night!" Pichu yelled.

Matthias blinked. "Oh…so that's why I dreamed I ate a lightning bolt…"

"Anyway…that's pretty much everything we've been up to," Pikachu said.

"What have you all been doing today?" Ash asked.

"How are the preparations for the big fight going?" Briney asked.

"Pretty well," Chuck said. "We spent most of the day on gathering supplies, drilling the troops, and undergoing a few training and trust-building exercises so that our Rescue Teams will be able to work better with the Imperial forces."

"The fact that I threatened to personally punish any Imperial soldier who was unable to cooperate with our new allies was a strong motivator," Nuken said cheerfully.

"Since we're going to war tomorrow, those who are going to be on the frontlines are spending their evening with their families and loved ones…to remind them of what they're fighting for, and give them a reason to come home alive," Delia said.

"There's also a lot of partying tae build morale and work up everyone's spirits for the big clash. We intend tae join the festivities once we're done here," Scotty said.

_Is that why not everyone that's part of your 'group' are here now?_ Dawn asked.

"Not quite," Aaron said.

"Charla's at my dojo, stoking her rage by beating the crap out of training dummies and holograms of Gal," Chuck said. "I would feel sorry for the guy, if he weren't an evil sonuvabitch who's tortured and imprisoned poor Charlie. And ripped off his wings."

"What an asshole," Leo agreed.

"Master Yamiri is having a service in his temple. Well, what's left of it anyway," Raiki said. "They still haven't finished the repairs."

"Most of the people attending are there to pray that they'll survive the big battle tomorrow…or that those who are going will be able to come back to their homes and families," Delia said.

"Why aren't you there, then? Isn't your husband going, too?" Lily asked.

Delia smiled. "Oh, I don't need to pray. I know Raiki will be fine. After all, he has Aaron to look after him." Aaron smiled gratefully.

"And because I'm too badass to die?" Raiki asked.

"Hmm? Oh, that too," Delia said. Raiki frowned.

"And what about Latias, Latios, and Rayquaza?" Pikachu asked.

"His Excellency and the Guardian are having a not-date…and Latios is making sure that it stays that way," Nuken said.

Ash smirked. "Boy, would I love to see how _that_ turns out."

"So would we," said Scotty. "That's why we're filming it."

"We're such voyeurs, aren't we?" Raiki said ruefully.

"Ooh! Can you send me a copy?" Leo asked.

"No," Nuken said flatly. "You would distribute it over the Internet so that everyone could potentially learn private and sensitive information regarding His Excellency."

"Yeah, you're right, I probably would," Leo admitted.

"Hmm…I wonder if they'll finally hook up…then we could have a triple wedding!" Raiki suggested, causing Ash and Pikachu to wince.

"Quadruple," Delia corrected him. "Zeke and Sally are going to get married when all this is over, remember? Oh, and if Wes pops Misty's cousin Rui the question, it'll be quintuple…and if we can convince Zoro and Rosa to have their thing here rather than back in their home village, it'll be sextuple! Ooh, and _hectuple_ if Aaron marries Krysta!"

"We already are married," Aaron said.

They looked at him in surprise. Sabrina sighed unhappily. "You are?" Chuck asked.

"Yes, we had a private ceremony a few years ago," Aaron said.

"You never told us that!" Raiki complained. "Why didn't you invite me? I was going to be your best mon!"

"Sorry," Aaron apologized. "It all happened rather quickly. There was no time."

"Well, I bet yer fangirls will be unhappy to hear that," Scotty commented.

"I know I am," Sapphire said sadly. They stared at her but decided not to comment.

"Anyway, I doubt all those people will be the only ones wanting to get married…maybe we should have a big mass wedding after everything's said and done," Chuck suggested. "To celebrate our victory."

"Oh yeah, definitely! Every big epic adventure story should have at least one wedding at the end!" Leo said enthusiastically. _And maybe if I play my cards right…I could take part as well?_ He thought, glancing briefly at Lily and Nuken.

"I can officiate if your priest can't handle that many couples of different faiths," Briney offered mischievously.

"How can you do that?" Matthias asked.

"I'm a ship's captain, that means I can marry people," Briney said.

"Ohhh," the Rattata said. "Why?"

"…I dunno. It's just something I can do," Briney admitted. "It's the way things are."

_I would be honored for you to preside over our wedding, Captain,_ Dawn said.

"We would?" Pikachu protested. "I mean…ohhh…can't we talk about this?"

"No," Raiki said.

"Will Daddy marry my Mommy too?" Tiny asked innocently.

There was an awkward pause. "We'll…talk about it," Ash said slowly.

"We can talk about that, but not me marrying Dawn?" Pikachu complained.

"What, you don't want to?" Leo asked.

"No!" Pikachu snapped.

"Why not?" Sasha asked.

"Because…because I…um…" Pikachu frowned. "Because…there's a very good reason, and I'm just having trouble thinking of it right now…" Ash, Leo, Briney, Raiki, Pichu, and his nephew and nieces snickered. His eye twitched.

"We're jumping the gun a little, aren't we?" Matthias asked. "We haven't even fought yet. How can you be sure we'll win?"

"Because we're the good guys, duh," Leo said.

"And because we're just that damn tough to beat!" Scotty roared.

Matthias sweatdropped. "Ah. Of course."

"Good luck with the fight tomorrow," Ash said. "We should be arriving at Zero Isle at about the same time you launch the attack. With any luck, we'll accomplish both our objectives at the same time."

"But that will not be the end of our troubles," Sabrina pointed out. "You will have a Star Badge, and we will have eliminated the army of the Monkey King…but we still have a long way to go before our world is truly saved."

"Which is why we will not stop fighting until the Nihilators and all associated with them are defeated," Aaron said. "Only then can we know true peace."

_And hopefully,_ Ash thought to himself as they all said their farewells and signed off. _So will I…_ Abruptly, Briney hit him. "Ow! What was that for?"

"You were angsting again! I warned you not to do that on my ship! The last thing we need is another whiny brooding emo teenage protagonist like the ones that seem to be all the rage in teen fiction and video games these days," Briney said sternly.

"Yeah, really," Leo agreed.

Ash sighed. "You're right. I need to stop feeling sorry for myself. Sorry."

"You'd better be! As punishment, go out and swab the deck," Briney said.

"But it's nighttime! And I swabbed it an hour ago! And Sasha and some of the rest of us are going to sleep out there soon so it'll just get dirty again!" Ash protested.

"I don't care. Swab it again!" the Metang said, handing him a mop. Ash grumbled and left the cabin to do as he was ordered.

"I would say you were being too harsh on him, but I know this is probably for his own good," Pikachu said reluctantly.

"And at least he's probably going to get even stronger due to the increased use of his upper body muscles," Leo pointed out.

"That, and my deck is cleaner than it has been in ages," Briney said. They sweatdropped.

…

At that moment, elsewhere in Pokemon Square…

As the sun set in Kanjohenn, the titular lights of Firefly Bay came out from wherever they hid during the day to dance and shine beneath the stars. Couples often came down to the beach at this time of day to bask in the Bay's ambience and drink in the glow from the fireflies—or whatever the hell they were—and this evening was no different.

However, there was an almost melancholy and contemplative undercurrent to the Pokemon gathered together in pairs or groups that eve…for come the morning, there was a good chance that many of them would not see their loved ones ever again. Tomorrow was the day Pokemon Square and the Draconian Empire were to lead their joint attack on the Monkey King's fortress in Mt. Blaze, so the warriors who had been called upon to take part in the battle wanted to spend one last night with the people they cared most for…just in case they didn't get another chance. As a result, there were more Pokemon out on the shore than usual, and while this inevitably led to someone setting up a barbecue and starting a beach party, the majority of the Pokemon who were going to be on the frontlines and in the tunnels chose to stay apart, so they could spend what little time remained to them with their families.

Team GSC were checking and rechecking their supplies, and Jimmy was doing his best to alleviate Marina's worries about what they might find in Mt. Blaze. Vincent was incredibly unhelpful and kept making things worse by telling her horror stories about what the barbarians did to womon or people they didn't like.

Team Constrictor were packing all the toys, candy, and storybooks lying around their Rescue Team base/daycare center that they thought might help them in gaining the trust of and rehabilitating the child soldiers in the Monkey King's army.

Sandy and Sickle of Team Razorblade sharpened their blades while Zeke spent the evening with his fiancé, Sally…what everyone hoped would not be the last evening they would ever have together. Defying the laws of drama, Sally was not pregnant, but they did their best to make sure she would be before this was all over.

While her teammates partied, Bella of Team Flame assembled every piece of fire-retardant clothing and armor she could find to protect herself from the heat of Mt. Blaze. Why had she formed a team of mostly Fire-types again?

Team Tops and Team Seasons each spent time with the remaining inhabitants from their respective cities…and honored the memories of their fallen colleagues, dedicating the next day's battles to their departed friends.

The massive joint search party who would look for the traitor T-Bone were all at the party, with Team Ebony using their skills as treasure hunters to 'find' interested ladies, Team Frontier hung out psyching themselves up for facing the legendary Tyranitar, and the members of Team LaMancha and Team Snagem watched as their leaders and their girlfriends competed in a dance-off. Zoro and Rosa were winning, naturally.

Team Raider, Team Charm, and Team AWD spent the evening enjoying each other's company…in more ways than one. They had invited Bruce, but his dance card was already full for the night, which wasn't really surprising.

Koga and his ninjas and the Draconian generals contemplated what dawn would bring, and wondered how many of their soldiers would still be alive by the time the sun set on Kanjohenn once more.

The Joys cleaned up the Pokemon Center and the Sky Tower's infirmary and made sure everything would be ready for the inevitable casualties and wounded who would need to be transported back to town for medical assistance. They, too, wondered how many they would be able to save, and how many they would have to let die so others could live.

And as for a certain trio of legendary dragons…

"It's amazing they can laugh and dance and have so much fun, given what they know is coming tomorrow," Rayquaza commented.

Latias smiled. "They are able to laugh and dance and have fun because they are sure they will win. That is not to say that they are arrogant or overconfident…simply that they have faith, in each other and in their own convictions. They believe that their desire to protect their homes and their friends will overcome the Monkey King's desire for power and conquest. I think that they're right."

"As do I…" Rayquaza sighed. "I'm just wondering how high that victory will cost us…"

Latias and Rayquaza were sitting on the edge of the cliff the Pelipper Post Office was perched on, looking at the festivities and the lights dancing over the bay from afar. Latios was watching Latias and Rayquaza from several meters away, disguised as a bush. And by disguised as a bush, I mean that he was holding two branches on either side of his face. Both of the other dragons pretended they couldn't see him.

"No victory can ever be won without some kind of sacrifice…and they know that as well as we do," Latias said. "They accept this as the reality it is…and will try their hardest to keep that sacrifice to a minimum."

"I know that…I'm just wondering how they can go and do something like this so easily," Rayquaza confessed. "How they can so freely throw their lives away for a cause…or for…well, me?"

"They are glad to do so. They believe in you," Latias said gently.

"Maybe, but I don't believe in myself," Rayquaza said unhappily, looking up at the cloudy form of the Sky Tower hovering over Pokemon Square, its many windows lit up as the occupants made their own preparations for the battle the next day.

"You must," Latias urged. "Otherwise, you will never regain your true power…and become the great god and king you are meant to be."

"If you say so…" Rayquaza said dubiously. He looked down at the dancing lights below. "What are those things, anyway? Out over the water? Are they insects? Spirits? Or just some natural phenomenon?"

"Neither," Latias said. "They're fairies."

Rayquaza looked at her in surprise. "Fairies?"

"Yes, but not like the ones that come from the Moon," Latias said. "In a sense, I suppose you could say they are spirits. They are drawn to places of happiness and prosperity. They thrive in areas where the bonds of love and friendship are strong, and there is a certain degree of…energy bound in the land that allows them to manifest visibly. Pokemon Square is one such place that meets those criteria."

"I see…" Rayquaza murmured, amazed. "And if this town were to die…I suppose they would disappear."

"If this town were to die, far more than they would disappear," Latias reminded him. "You know what Pokemon Square was constructed to hide. You know what lies beneath its surface."

"I do indeed…and I wonder how those who might die tomorrow would feel, if they knew just what it was they were fighting to protect?" Rayquaza asked.

"It wouldn't make the slightest difference," Latias said. "They love Pokemon Square and would do everything in their power to protect it. The knowledge that it happens to be the only entrance to the computer at the Earth's core, and Mew, would only give them one more reason to fight to save it."

"Should we tell them, then?" Rayquaza wondered.

Latias shrugged. "That is up to the Mayor, and so far he does not think so. I see no reason to question his judgment in this matter."

Rayquaza sighed. "I see…I doubt that my own subjects would remain as loyal to me were they to know the full truth about myself. The Wing clan certainly did not."

"You underestimate yourself, and their esteem for you," Latias said. "And besides…like I told you before, you are no impostor to the throne, no mere replacement. You are the true Rayquaza…my husband, and soulmate."

Rayquaza frowned. "That's what you said the other day, too…but how could that be possible? How could the spirit of the all-powerful Dragon God King be reborn in the form of a lowly Bagon, rather than in Rayquaza himself?"

Latias shrugged. "Reincarnation works in strange ways. When Deoxys and Mew rebuilt the planet and resurrected everyone, it's possible that your soul, confused and unstable due to your violent death at the hands of Lord Null, slipped through the cracks and someone else's soul was put into the body of Rayquaza instead. It happens sometimes. We try our best to make sure souls are reborn in the perfect host bodies, but sometimes we make mistakes. You know how transsexuals often feel they weren't born the right gender? Sometimes they're right."

"…I see," Rayquaza murmured. He frowned. "But…no, that can't be right. If I _was_ your husband, then…then shouldn't I have _known?_ After I was transformed into Rayquaza, that is. Wouldn't the joining of your husband's soul to his body reawakened his knowledge of who he was...and since that didn't happen, I can't be him?"

"Normally, that _is_ what would have happened, yes," Latias agreed. "However…if you will recall, you did not receive all of the Dragon God's power when your predecessor died. Some of it was stolen by Bellum and given to her master. That missing power may be the reason your body and soul did not completely sync, and why you always felt like you were inadequate and did not deserve the position you had been given…even though it was your destiny."

Rayquaza frowned. "Considering that I had no knowledge of certain things like the world being hollow and housing Mew even though I'm apparently supposed to be one of the planet's main defenses, that theory seems…plausible." He still wasn't sure he believed that he was the one true Rayquaza, but Latias's explanation had a kernel of authenticity to it. "Then is that why I messed up the ritual? Because my soul and body weren't one hundred percent synchronized?"

"That's _one_ reason, yes," Latias said. "But…there's one other thing."

Rayquaza frowned. "What?"

"You rejected me," Latias said, a look of hurt in her eyes.

Rayquaza blinked. "I did what now?"

"As the avatar of the Dragon God King…no, as the _true_ Dragon God King, my husband—your spirit and power were the anchor that _my_ spirit and power were using to travel to this world," Latias explained. "When I started possessing your Latias, it triggered a resonance within you that would have completed the 'circuit' between your body and soul and awakened you to who you truly were. However…when you saw the change that was taking place in me, and sensed that something was happening inside of you as well, you panicked. You were afraid that you were losing me, that I was becoming someone completely different from the Latias that you knew, that the Pokemon you loved would cease to exist. And…you feared that the same thing was happening to you."

"…That's right. I did," Rayquaza whispered quietly.

"So when I reached out to you, when I recognized you for who you were…you rejected me," Latias said sadly. "You refused to accept me. You refused to accept what was happening to yourself…because you were afraid of what you would lose. And because of that rejection…"

"The spell failed," Rayquaza whispered, eyes widening in horror. "Then…then it really _is_ all my fault!"

Latias shook her head. "No, the spell would have failed anyway due to the interference of our enigmatic enemy. However…more of my power would have been brought into this universe, and you would not have lost your own power. The power of the Dragon God King left you because you were unwilling to accept it. And because of that, we are both in our current weakened condition."

"But it's still my fault, then!" Rayquaza protested. "If you had been able to finish gathering more of your power before the spell failed, if it weren't for my rejection, we wouldn't be in the current dire straits we're in! We wouldn't have to bother with an army or a mass attack on Mt. Blaze, you would have been able to handle them all by yourself!"

Latias nodded. "That's true, I would have…but then what would be left for our brave warriors to do? If I fought all their battles for them, what would they learn? How could they grow and become stronger from this experience?"

"They wouldn't be at a higher risk of dying!" Rayquaza argued back.

Latias shrugged. "Everyone dies eventually. That doesn't bother me as much because I know how impermanent it is."

"Not everyone else feels that way…" Rayquaza grumbled unhappily.

"Maybe not, but that doesn't change that that's the way it is," Latias said. "And while I am admittedly upset that you…that you couldn't accept me…I still see a few good things as coming from all this."

Rayquaza blinked. "You do?"

Latias nodded. "As I said before, it has given both your people and those of Pokemon Square a chance to affirm stronger ties by fighting together and gaining more confidence in their own strength and power. Additionally…I haven't been this weak for a long time. It's kind of humbling, really. It reminds me that even we gods are not fully omnipotent…well, except for Arceus, of course."

"Of course," Rayquaza said.

"And there's something you can gain from all this, too," Latias said.

Rayquaza blinked. "There is?"

"Had the spell worked, you would have been immediately transformed into who you really are…my husband," Latias said. "And while that would have been nice, and I would have been overjoyed to have you back as you really are…now you are going to have to work to earn that right. You are going to have to want to change. You are going to have to accept the truth about yourself and our relationship the hard way. It will be a longer and more difficult path…but it may lead to a more satisfying conclusion for both of us. The harder path often does. I believe that we will be all the happier once you finally reach its end…and realize fully what we mean to each other."

"…How can you say that?" Rayquaza wondered in astonishment. "Your soulmate rejected you out of fear of becoming, well, your soulmate, and you are not as strong as you should be. People may die because you aren't at full power. How can you still be so optimistic and look on the bright side despite all that?"

"Because I have faith," Latias said. "I have to. Both of us have seen more wars and suffering than most people could imagine, though at the moment I'm the only one of us who remembers them. We have also seen more peace and prosperity, more innovations and hopes fulfilled, than most people could ever dream of. And because of everything I have seen, I know this: that Arceus has a plan for us. Something He is slowly but surely driving us towards. I do not know what that end result is, and am not sure if anyone else but He truly understands what He is doing, but I believe that, in the end…all the pain, all the hurt, all the sorrow and despair…all of it will have been worth it. It's because of that I can so easily accept the failures and shortcomings of people, including my own…and yours. Because I know in my heart that, no matter how bad things seem, somewhere down the line…it'll all work out. Maybe not today, tomorrow, or even this century…but one day, there will be a happy ending. For all of us."

Rayquaza shook his head in wonder. "I wish I could be as confident as you."

"You can be," Latias said. "But the first step to that is accepting who you really are…and who I am. And realizing that what's happened to me, and what will happen to yourself, is not a transformation, not an abandoning of who you are…so much as a flowering, a growth into who you are meant to be. And once you understand that, it will be that much easier for you to find and reintegrate your missing power."

"And when we do that, we may be able to help you regain your missing power, too?" Rayquaza asked.

Latias nodded. "I believe so, yes."

Rayquaza sighed. "I'm still not sure I believe any of this, Latias…but I believe that you believe it, and…and I believe in you. So I will try, for your sake. So that together…we may be able to end this conflict and enact a lasting peace."

Latias smiled. "I couldn't ask for anything more."

"So…what do I need to do?" Rayquaza asked.

"Well, we can start by getting you to acknowledge who you really are. I think we can do that by helping you remember your past as the true Dragon God King," Latias said.

"But I don't remember any of that," Rayquaza protested.

"Your mind doesn't, but your soul should," Latias said. "The soul _always_ remembers."

"Well…okay then," Rayquaza said. "How do I get those memories back, then?"

"A more intrusive method would be for my soul to connect to yours and…'coax' the memories out of them," Latias said. They heard a yelp of alarm from Latios.

"Um, that sounds rather…intimate," Rayquaza said uneasily.

"Well, we _are_ husband and wife," Latias pointed out. "And you love me, right?"

Rayquaza blinked. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"It's pretty much the closest two people can get without literally becoming one…putting their souls together, sharing their thoughts, memories, everything that makes them the people they are…" Latias said, giving him a coy look.

Rayquaza flushed, and Latios cried out again. "That does sound…interesting…but even if _you_ remember us being married and doing that, and _I _do on some level, I don't consciously, and…er…I'm not sure I'm quite…ready for that, yet." From the sigh of relief in the bush, he knew he'd made the right choice.

Latias shrugged. "All right. I thought as much. We can try something simpler, then…I'll tell you stories about our favorite memories and the best lifetimes we've spent together. Those should react with your buried memories and bring them to the surface."

"…Would any of these stories by chance involve our…daughter?" Rayquaza asked.

Latias nodded. "Of course."

"Good. I…I would look forward to hearing more about her," Rayquaza said.

Latias smiled. "Then I'll start from day one: the day she was born…"

Latios lowered the branches in his claws, a stricken look on his face as he watched his sister—or rather, the _thing_ his sister had become—chatting animatedly with…with that guy. The looks of mutual interest and affection on their faces, the feelings of desire and happiness radiating from them, the way they were hanging on each other's words…and the way he couldn't take even the smallest part in it, since his sister had once again closed off the psychic link between them, leaving him out of her thought processes and feelings…left him feeling angry and hurt and lonely. His sister wasn't just growing up, she was…she was growing _out_, leaving their world and her brother behind. The place Latios had always held in her heart was now almost completely replaced by the jerk with the fancy flying castle and world-spanning empire, and there was nothing he could do about it. "I'm losing her…" he whispered softly. Was he even a brother to her anymore? Or just an unused avatar for her 'true' brother, the Guardian of Hope? Either way, it was clear she didn't need him anymore.

He threw the branches to the ground and took off, shimmering and fading into invisibility as he left. Latias watched him go with a look of sadness in her eyes. _Brother…I'm sorry I've been pushing you away. I promise I'll make it all up to you later. But not yet…because right now, someone else needs me more._

"Latias?" Rayquaza asked, noticing the pained look on her face.

"It's nothing," she said quietly.

"Was that Latios leaving? Am…am I driving a wedge between you?" Rayquaza asked.

"No," she said. "If anyone's doing that, it's me. And it's something I'm going to have to deal with later…but now is not the time for that, no matter how much I wish otherwise."

Rayquaza frowned. "Then you should go to him now! You two are siblings. You can't let what's happening between…us, or whatever else is going on, push you apart!"

"I know, but if I went after him right now, in his current state of mind…he'd only think I was taking pity on him, that I see him as less than a mon and beneath me, which is what he fears most of all. It would only make things worse." Latias said. "When he cools down, I promise he and I will talk. Don't worry. I'll take care of it. But right now…my responsibility is to help you become the mon I know you are inside."

And so they sat on the cliff, she telling stories about the child they had raised together and he listening with wonder and a growing sense of familiarity, as the rest of Pokemon Square partied and made ready for war and the fairies flew over the bay, their beautiful lights and dancing showing no hint of the conflict and bloodshed that would take place when next the sun rose again.

…

Meanwhile, in Almiore…

"Oh Maria! Oh Maria! My beloved, do you hear my words whispered in your ear as if I were by your siiiiiiiiiiiiide?" Gary sang rather discordantly from atop the roof of the hotel he and the others were staying in. Glass shattered. A few lightbulbs exploded. Lights switched on in the buildings around him. Growlithe and Houndour started barking loudly. A scavenging Glameow hissed and hid in a dumpster. A stunned Swablu fell out of the sky and smashed into a billboard. A baby Munchlax soiled his diaper. Gary winced and tried again, singing softer and modulating his voice differently. "Oh Maria! Oh Maria! My beloved, do you hear my words whispered in your ear as if I were by your siiiiiide?"

"Yes, and we want you to shut up!" someone yelled, throwing a boot at him. Gary let it pass through him, but that didn't dissuade some of the other Pokemon in the surrounding buildings from opening their windows and pelting him with garbage.

"Yeah, some of us are trying to get some sleep here!" someone else shouted.

"Why don't you practice during normal hours?" came another cry.

"Or somewhere far away…where we don't have to hear you!" yet another person yelled.

"I can't! The big show is tomorrow, and if I can't perfect my singing by then, the whole production will be ruined!" Gary yelled back.

"If they were desperate enough to hire someone with a voice as bad as _yours_, then the show deserves to be tanked!" somebody sneered. There were various noises and shouts of agreement from the other disturbed residents.

Gary scowled. "Screw you guys! What do you know about theater, anyway?"

The replies were instantaneous. "I'm a liberal arts major!"

"I'm a theater critic!"

"I'm an opera singer!"

"I watch lots of television!"

Gary sweatdropped. "Forgot they take art so seriously in this town…all right, fine, I'll go practice somewhere else, you happy now?"

"YES!" everyone yelled, slamming their windows shut and turning off the lights.

Grumbling, Gary floated off into the night. "Lousy stinking snobby know-it-all white-collar trash…who do they think they are, pushing me about like that? Why I oughta…" Muttering and growling under his breath, he alighted upon a distant skyscraper and sighed as he looked out at the city spread below him. "Well, this is another fine mess you've gotten yourself into Gary," he said to himself, sitting against an air conditioning unit. "If I can't get a good singing voice by tomorrow, the play'll be ruined, Hayzee will be a laughingstock, and we'll have to resort to thievery to get the next Compass piece…putting us right back to square one!" He frowned. "And if that weren't bad enough…I have no idea what to do with what I just found out about Maren yesterday. Who knew she was a lesbian? She certainly doesn't look or act like one…I mean, Mary's parents are _way_ hotter, though I guess technically they're bi. Hmm, wonder which way Mary leans…oh yeah, and Maren's also a spy from the Mirage Kingdom spent to make sure we don't do anything stupid. She hasn't been doing a very good job of that so far…then again, we probably haven't been making that easy for her…" He sighed. "Mon, are we a bunch of screw-ups…it seems like we can't do anything right without making a mess of it for at least one person. No wonder they sent Maren to keep an eye on us…if I were them, I wouldn't trust us either. And to know that there's a spy in our midst, the guys who hired us might not be as trustworthy as they seemed, the crook we're supposed to beat down may actually be a _good_ guy, there's some shadowy evil organization behind everything, Evan's constantly pining for that two-headed giant monster girlfriend of his, and Mary's whining about being grass…it's all too much for one Gengar to handle. I bet Ash never has to deal with crap like this." Despondent, he looked beseechingly up at the moon. "What the Abyss am I supposed to do?"

Suddenly, a silver rose materialized at his feet. He yelped and fell over. "Ack! What the-"

"Things may not be as hopeless as they seem, my friend," a mysterious voice whispered.

Gary started and whirled around. Standing on top of the air conditioning unit behind him, backlit by the moon, was a cloaked figure wearing a white opera mask. The Gengar gasped, recognizing the being from the painting back at the Selene Theater. "You…you're the Spirit, the guardian of Pueltown!" He frowned. "I thought you'd be taller. You're actually a little shorter than I am."

"In the arts, it is not size of the body that matters nearly so much as the size of your imagination…and your wallet," the Spirit said. "Since it takes a lot of money to become even remotely successful in any artistic endeavor."

"Totally," Gary said, enamored by the Spirit's voice. There was a lyrical, almost song-like quality to it…something that mesmerized the Gengar and made him want to listen to it for hours on end. It was certainly nothing like his singing voice. "So what are you doing here, Masked Mon of Mystery?"

"The mangled notes of your song called out to me, like damsels in distress," the Spirit explained. "And I always aid artists in distress. You are in dire need of help, Gary of Team Nightshade…and I would be happy to assist you, if you would allow it."

Gary gasped. "How did you know my name?"

"I have been watching you…and listening to you as well. Your singing really is quite atrocious…but it is nothing that I cannot fix," the Spirit said.

Gary's eyes widened. "You…you can help make me a good singer?"

The Spirit nodded. "Most certainly. I have served as voice coach for some of the finest singers and actors Pueltown has ever seen. Before I helped them, their voices were even worse than yours (though not by much). If you will allow me to teach you, I would be more than happy to unlock your true potential…and make Hayzee's show a success."

"Can you really do that?" Gary asked in surprise. "My singing's _really_ bad…plus, there isn't much time left. The show's tomorrow night! Could you make me actually sound good by then?"

"We might be cutting it a little close…but yes, I can certainly have you ready for tomorrow night's performance, if you are willing to trust me," the Spirit said.

"If it'll help Hayzee, get us the Compass piece, and prove that we can actually succeed at something for a change without ruining someone's life, I'm all for it," Gary said. "Where do we start?"

"We must adjourn to my lair," the Spirit said, his cloak swishing in the breeze. "I have soundproof stages there, where you can practice without worrying about disturbing anyone's sleep."

"I probably shouldn't trust a stranger, but at this point I'm sort of out of options so I'm willing to do whatever it takes," Gary said. "So, where's your lair? A candlelit lake in a cavern beneath the city?"

"No, that flooded last month and I'm still pumping water out of it. We'll go to my high-rise instead," the Spirit said.

Gary goggled in disbelief. "You have a high-rise?"

The Spirit chuckled. "I've lived in this city since the day it was founded. You don't really think I would have spent all those years in a cave, now do you?"

"I guess not. I doubt I would've," Gary agreed. "All right, let's head out!"

"Certainly. Follow my lead," the Spirit said, jumping off the air conditioning unit, walking to the edge of the rooftop, and…continuing to walk off the side into thin air, as easily as if it were solid ground.

"…Just what kind of Pokemon are you, anyway?" Gary wondered as he floated after the cloaked figure.

The Spirit chuckled again. "I'm afraid that's one question I can't answer. I have to leave some mysteries unsolved, don't I?"

Gary shrugged. "If you say so." He followed his new tutor into the night.

…

Elsewhere…

"Ah, Herr Shadow! Come in, come in, ve haf been expecting you!" Doctor Tarantulas welcomed Oblivion's Shadow as he entered the room. "Velcome to our new vampire research and containment unit! Vhat do you zink?"

Oblivion's Shadow glanced around the latest addition to the Ariados's laboratory. It was an immense chamber with rather large lamps hanging from the ceiling that bathed the room in a purplish-black light. The walls, floor and ceiling glistened oddly and had odd sigils painted on them, reflecting the weird light all over the place. Several tables covered in arcane equipment of both the mystical and scientific variety dotted the floor. A few of the tables had rather pale, sickly-looking Pokemon corpses lying on them in various states of dissection, anguished looks on their tortured faces. Oblivion's Shadow wasn't certain, but he could swear a few were still moving and had signs of brain activity, and not just because a sunglasses-wearing Chobin was humping one of them.

Bellum was gliding back and forth before the back wall, which had a series of small holding cells with bars of the same substance coating the room's surfaces blocking the entrances. The walls and ceiling inside the cells were made of the same substance with even more sigils on them, and smaller purple-black lamps illuminated the half dozen or so very uncomfortable-looking Pokemon contained within, all of which had shackles and collars of the same glittering metal, with glowing runes carved into them. One of them was Gardevoir. The others were a Hitmonchan, a Swalot, a Doduo, a Wooper, an Electrike, and a Bidoof. There was something…odd about the Pokemon. They looked rather pale, even in the weird lighting, and their eyes looked redder and darker than usual. In addition, most of them looked strikingly attractive for their species…except for the Electrike and Bidoof, which looked rather deranged, though given most Bidoof it was hard to tell. Oblivion's Shadow frowned under his mask, discovering that he couldn't read the minds of any of the prisoners, even though none of them were Dark-types. "Who are these Pokemon?" he asked as they approached the cells.

"Vampires," Bellum said, turning to the Shadow.

"I thought we only had just the one?" Oblivion's Shadow asked, glancing at Gardevoir, who turned away from him.

"Ve did," Tarantulas said. "Until ve discovered how to make more!"

"You told us to show…_restraint_ in our handling of Gardevoir, but we wanted to gain more thorough results, and figured that the best way to do that was to create new specimens to examine," Bellum explained.

"Gardevoir vas unvilling to help us by turning any of ze test subjects ve fed her into vampires, but ve got around zat by drawing blood samples and injecting zem into some of my patients," Tarantulas said proudly, gesturing at the half-dozen imprisoned Pokemon and the corpses scattered around the room. "Ze transformation vas almost instantaneous…and excruciatingly painful, naturally. None of zem changed as radically in zeir physical structures as Gardevoir, however."

"Vhy is zat?" Oblivion's Shadow asked.

"Because she is Patient Zero, so to speak," Bellum said. "She was the first person from our universe to be infected by vampirism. The virus shifted to adapt itself to her genetic structure, causing her body to shift as well to match it. Since the virus is now suited to our physiology, it doesn't need to cause as violent a change in subsequent infectees, hence why they look normal for the most part…give or take a few traits."

"Additionally, none of ze subsequent vampires are as strong as Gardevoir, vhich again makes sense since she is ze 'source' of ze virus, and zerefore has ze highest concentration of it," Tarantulas said.

"I zhought she vas infected by anozzer vampire. Vouldn't zat make him ze source?" Oblivion's Shadow asked.

"He's the source of the virus, but Gardevoir is the source of our universe's _strain _of the virus," Bellum explained. "I suppose you could say it makes her Queen of the Vampires."

"And zat's not a meaningless label, eizer," Tarantulas said. "From vhat ve haf gazzered so far by studying subsequent infectees and zeir interactions viz each ozzer, zere is a rigid ingrained caste hierarcy of sorts at vork here determined by generation."

"Generation?" Oblivion's Shadow inquired.

"Simply put, the virus becomes weaker depending on how many vampires it has been passed through before reaching a new host," Bellum said. "Also resulting in weaker vampires. It's like this: vampires created directly from Gardevoir's blood are about half as strong as she is—which is very strong indeed!—and if she is the Queen, then you could say they are the 'aristocracy,'" she said, pointing at the Hitmonchan and Swalot, who glared back defiantly, a regal and dignified air surrounding them despite their captivity. "Vampires created from their blood are only half as strong as them, and could be considered 'peasants' of a sort," she continued, pointing at the Doduo and Wooper, who also glared defiantly, but with less dignity and nobility. "Finally, vampires created by _them_ are the weakest of all, only marginally stronger than normal Pokemon and lacking much in the way of a mind or sentience. These you could consider 'minions' or 'serfs' or 'slaves,' whichever appellation you favor best." She indicated the Electrike and Bidoof, who slavered and stared at them blankly.

"And what are the vampires _they_ make called?" the Shadow asked.

"Nozzing, anyone zey bite just dies. Zeir virus isn't strong enough to reanimate zem as undead," Tarantulas said.

"We have reason to group these vampires into classes other than power levels," Bellum continued. "The process of being turned into a vampire causes all vampires to automatically defer to and obey their Queen, in this case Gardevoir. Vampires in the lower tiers instinctively obey those higher up than they, though we're not sure how much of it is psychological and how much is mystical. Additionally, it's possible to be 'promoted' a rank up by being given an infusion of infected blood from the Queen, but it only works up to the level of aristocrat, they can rise no higher than that."

"Ve made very sure of zat. Zey died horribly ven ve tried," Tarantulas said cheerfully. "I guess ze virus can only tolerate one prime host at a time, so to speak."

"Fascinating," said Oblivion's Shadow. "Vat abilities do zese vampires possess? And vat are ze methods you haf used to contain zem?"

"All vampires haf enhanced strength, speed, and senses, zough ze extent to vich zey are enhanced depends on zeir generation of ze virus," Tarantulas said. "Zey also haf a degree of immortality and regeneratif abilities, zough zey are not as good as, say, a Joy's, and require infusions of blood to trigger zeir bodies' reparatif systems."

"They are also all capable of communicating with each other through a sort of 'Dark telepathy' that allows them to speak mind-to-mind with Dark types, which all of them have gained as a subtype upon their transformation, even the ones that already had two types," Bellum said. "Not only that, they can _control_ Dark types with their minds, though again their ability to do this varies based on generation."

Oblivion's Shadow looked at her in alarm. "Most of the Pokemon in this base have chips simulating Dark-type energy in their brains to prevent Psychic scans from anyone who's not one of us. Does that mean they are at risk of being controlled by the vampires?"

"Fortunately, no, it only seems to vork on genuine Dark-types," Tarantulas assured him.

"Zat is little consolation, ve still haf numerous Dark-type soldiers," Oblivion's Shadow pointed out. "Haf you figured out a vay to block it?"

"Er, not so much, no…ve can't even tell vhat zey're saying viz it, just zat zey're communicating _somehow,_" Tarantulas admitted Mareepishly. The cyborg's reflection glared back at him from the Shadow's mask. "Ve're vorking on it, zough!"

"You'd better…" Oblivion's Shadow growled. "Or else I'll haf to figure it out myself."

"You may have to," Bellum said. "Not only can they control Dark types, they have a certain amount of hypnotic prowess, the ability to mesmerize and ensnare the minds of the weaker-willed just by looking at or talking to them. Again, the strength of their hypnosis varies on generation, but that much we've figured out how to counter; simply cover your eyes with dark or mirrored lenses and wear special earphones or charms to tune out the subvocal frequencies they use to dull the senses."

"You could also tear out zeir eyes and vocal cords," Tarantulas said. "Zat's effectif, too."

"That's good news, at least. What else are they capable of?" Oblivion's Shadow asked

"Vhen zey bite someone viz ze retractable fangs zat develop due to zeir transformation, zey can eizer drain blood—zey need certain nutrients only available in ze fluids of ze living to survive—or inject some of zeir own infected blood, turning zeir victims into vampires," Tarantulas said. "During ze bite, zey can also inject enzymes into ze vound to kill ze pain and cause zeir prey to experience a pleasurable, almost euphoric sensation."

"It is not being as good as the yummy psychedelic drugs of madness and hallucination and snorting snow that Chobin takes now and then!" Chobin yelled. They ignored him.

"I believe these enzymes, much like the hypnosis, are a way to obtain renewable mortal servants," Bellum explained. "Warm bodies willing to exchange blood in return for the high of being bitten. However, the vampire can also choose _not_ to inject the enzymes, in which case they suffer agonizing torment."

"It is not being as bad as the yummy psychedelic drugs of madness and hallucination and snorting snow that Chobin takes now and then!" Chobin yelled. They ignored him.

"Ze amount of blood zey drain also can be controlled," Tarantulas said. "Zey can eizer drink enough to simply replenish zemselves…or suck a victim completely dry, until nozing but ashes remains."

"It is not being as bad as-" Chobin started.

"Ve get ze point, Chobin!" Tarantulas snapped. Chobin pouted and went back to humping vampire corpses.

"Vhich of zose has Gardevoir done?" Oblivion's Shadow asked.

"She's been rather reluctant to drink blood, actually. She only takes just enough to keep herself from starving, and always makes sure it's a pleasant experience for her victims. Her 'subordinates' have fewer inhibitions," Bellum said. "They seem to have given in more to the darker urges of their new forms than she has…I'm not sure why, though." The Shadow had an idea, but he did not voice it.

"One of ze most remarkable abilities zey possess, above everyzing else ve haf described, is ze power to transform," Tarantulas continued eagerly. "All vampires above 'serf' level can change into somewhat demonic-looking canine Pokemon such as Houndour, Houndoom, Poochyenas, and Mightyenas, or bat-like Pokemon such as Zubats, Golbats, Crobats, Gligars, and Gliscors. Vhich form is available to zem differs due to factors ve haf been unable to determine as of yet."

"Additionally, 'aristocratic' and above vampires can turn into mist," Bellum said. "We learned that almost too late to keep some from escaping. Fortunately, we locked down the lab in time and made sure the fools who sought to defy us paid dearly for their rebellion." The remaining artistocrats glared angrily at her, silently vowing to avenge their brethren. Bellum ignored them because she was used to vows of revenge by now. None of them ever amounted to anything.

"Ah, but zat's not all!" Tarantulas said triumphantly. "Gardevoir has even greater transformative skills, possibly due to being Queen. She can not only revert to her original form—or a darker variant of it—but she can also shift into any of ze Pokemon she's sampled blood from. She can even shift into ze Pokemon ze _ozzer_ vampires haf drank blood from! How does she do zis, especially since ve've kept her from being in physical contact viz ze ozzers? Ve haf no idea! But it's still pretty remarkable all ze same, ja?"

"Indeed," Oblivion's Shadow agreed.

Bellum frowned. "The only problem is we haven't really found anything practical to _do_ with all this. We can't make our Shadow Pokemon into vampires, it would kill them, and we can't make regular soldiers into vampires because their loyalty would transfer to Gardevoir, and so far we have had no success in breaking her will to serve us. You might have more luck in that regard than we, though, my lord."

"Perhaps," Oblivion's Shadow said vaguely. "I'm amazed you've been able to keep zem locked up considering all zese powers. How haf you managed it?"

"It was easier than you'd think," Bellum said. "While they're all very strong, they also share common weaknesses, which we discovered through detailed experimentation."

"Old standbys like holy icons, garlic, stakes, or decapitation don't do anyzing to zem," Tarantulas said. "Ze icons don't even burn zem, zey enjoy ze taste of garlic, zey can pluck ze stakes out of zeir bodies vizout leaving much of a vound behind, and vhile cutting off zeir heads puts zem out of commission for a little vhile, put it back on and give zem some blood and zey're right as rain. Starvation vorks too, but it takes too long to be practical, and it doesn't really kill zem, just puts zem in a fugue-like state until zey get some fresh blood. Ve compensate by only feeding zem enough to survive, so zey are never at full strengzh." He grinned. "Sunlight and silver, on ze ozzer hand…"

Bellum nodded. "Contact with silver burns their flesh and causes them a great degree of pain, which is naturally why we've created bonds made of silver and coated most of the lab in it. The constant contact with the silver keeps them in endless discomfort and, thanks to the runes I've carved on them and the surfaces of the lab, their power is reduced as long as they wear or are near them. In addition, if even the slightest bit of silver gets into their blood, it poisons and kills them quickly and agonizingly, so we always have dart guns loaded with liquid silver on standby."

"But zat is nozzing compared to ze power of ze Sun!" Tarantulas said proudly. "Vhile ze stronger vampires can vizstand it to a limited degree, for ze most part sunlight is zeir greatest weakness. Contact viz it severely burns or even disintegrates zem in seconds! Not like certain _ozzer_ vampires vhich just 'sparkle' in ze sunlight for some reason."

"However, a few drops of blood on the remains resurrects them pretty quickly," Bellum said. "It depends on the condition they're in and, again, on the strength of the vampire."

"Is it just sunlight, or would attacks like Sunny Day and Solarbeam work too?" Oblivion's Shadow inquired, fascinated.

"All of ze above! Not just zat, but ve've found zat certain levels of ultraviolet radiation—vhich is also present in sunlight, of course—do ze job as vell," Tarantulas said. "Zhrough testing of skin and blood samples and live—or is it undead?—subjects, ve've found exactly how much UV ve need to kill a vampire…and also how much ve need to keep zem veakened and at our mercy. Vhile zey're exposed to ultraviolet light, zey can't transform, and most of zeir ozzer abilities are decreased significantly, hence vhy all ze light in here comes from UV lamps."

"Chobin tested disco to see if the funky lights of funk and groovy grooves of grooviness had any effect, but they wouldn't even do the dancing of wild spinning and kicking and flailing about!" Chobin lamented. They ignored him.

"How has work progressed on finding a cure?" Oblivion's Shadow asked.

They stared at him blankly. "A cure?" asked the confused Bellum.

"Vhy vould ve vant to _cure_ it?" asked the puzzled Tarantulas.

"…Right. Stupid question. Anyway, it sounds like the both of you have done a very good job so far," Oblivion's Shadow commented. "I am impressed. I hadn't thought the two of you would be able to put aside your differences and work together so well."

"Neizer did ve, to be honest," Tarantulas admitted.

"Don't worry, it won't happen again," Bellum promised.

"They are not the only ones who are doing all the work of hardness and labor and sweaty brows either!" Chobin announced. "Chobin made an important discovery of great merit and science and wonder and brilliance and sandwiches on his own!"

Bellum and Tarantulas grimaced. "And that is?" Oblivion's Shadow asked, already dreading the answer.

"That the stories of vampires being sex gods of godly sex and worship in bed with sacrifices of sex and semen and sex and vaginal fluids and sex and blood and sex and sex and sex you are seeing in teenage novels and movies are lies!" Chobin declared. "Chobin has raped countless vampires FOR SCIENCE in the ass until he lost count of them FOR SCIENCE and on the scale of one to ten they are only a six point five. Not a six, and not a seven, but somewhere in between, an unholy limbo of ambiguity, and not the kind where you are bending backwards to slide under a pole to see how low you can go FOR SCIENCE, either! And they wouldn't stop crying afterwards either, no matter how hard Chobin hit them and bit them and raped them and defecated on them and called them names FOR SCIENCE. My disappointment was so great that not even the club sandwich of sorrow and broken dreams and bacon could raise my spirits FOR SCIENCE."

They stared at him for a long moment, and then wisely decided to pretend he hadn't said anything. "Zere is still much for us to learn…but since you are taking Gardevoir into your custody and I and Chobin must depart very soon for our expedition, you vill have to find out ze rest on your own," Tarantulas said.

"What about me? I'm taking at least half the vampires we created to conduct my own experiments on them," Bellum asked.

"Yes, but I don't expect you to figure anyzing out on your own. Chobin and I did all ze hard vork, after all," Tarantulas said airily.

Bellum bristled. "_You_ did all the-! How _dare_ you-"

"Bellum, what was that about taking some of the vampires?" Oblivion's Shadow asked.

Bellum blinked. "Hmm? Oh, yes. Lord Shadow, have you heard of the Convocum Mysticus Fantastica?"

"It's that gathering of magicians of all creeds and alignments that only happens once every century, isn't it?" Oblivion's Shadow recalled.

Bellum nodded. "That is correct."

"Oh, you mean a convention for magic users?" Tarantulas asked.

Bellum scowled. "It is not a _convention_, it is a time when magical practitioners from all over the world, both good and evil, can come under one roof under a common truce and learn from their colleagues as well as show off the fruits of their labors."

"In ozzer vords, it's a convention," Tarantulas said. Bellum growled.

"You are attending this Convocum?" the Shadow asked.

Bellum nodded. "Yes, my lord. And I wish to bring a few of the vampires, as well. Every time the Convocum is held, one enchanter is chosen from all the rest to receive the Rod of Merlin, one of the most coveted mystical treasures in the world, as a prize for the greatest discovery or most innovative use of magic of the century. For the last four hundred years, I have lost the Rod to my hated rival, Fantina Phantasma…but this year I will gain the upper hand, for rediscovering vampires will certainly triumph over what paltry tricks she conjures up to dazzle the judges this time around!"

Tarantulas blinked. "Fantina Phantasma? Ze vorld-famous fashion model and designer/sorceress/duchess of ze land of Fichina who's been voted 'Sexiest Voman Undead' zree hundred and seventy-five years in a row? I didn't know you vere rivals."

"I have competed against her ever since we were in magic school together…and this year, I will finally defeat her! She'll never be able to show her face at the Convocum again without being reminded of how I humiliated her! Bwahahahaha!" Bellum cackled.

"She's still being sexier and gorgeouser and more beautifully attractive than you are," Chobin said. "Chobin has masturbated with his penis to shiny posters of her until he wore holes in them and had _very_ wet dreams of eroticness and sexy goodness since he was being a little seedlet that had not yet become a real Sunflora boy! You? Eh, not so much."

Bellum shrieked in fury and fired an Ice Beam at Chobin, freezing him solid and killing him. Tarantulas sighed. "Guess I'd better fetch v. 69.0."

"You're up to that many already?" Oblivion's Shadow asked.

"Ve lost a lot of Chobins to testing," Tarantulas said. "Ze vampires seem to really hate him for some reason."

"Right…anyway," Oblivion's Shadow said. "Bellum, you may take a few of the vampires to this Convocum so long as you make certain they don't escape and that you do not reveal any of our plans to any of your colleagues that aren't already a part of our conspiracy. Or to this Fantina."

"You need not worry, my lord. I am the soul of discretion," Bellum assured him.

"I zought you vere ze soul of an utter bitch," Tarantulas quipped. Bellum growled.

"I vill continue researching our newest 'guests' and vorking on our operations vorldvide vhile you are having zis little 'vacation,' the Shadow continued. "I expect you back shortly, for, in spite of ze loss of Hunter J and ze setback I suffered in Treasure Town, ve are nearing ze final stages of our master plan. Ze Supreme Admiral is closing in on Team Aurabolt and the sixth Star Badge, our barbarian allies in Kanjohenn vill soon be ready to strike against Pokemon Square, our backup maiden vill soon be able to serve our purposes, and after Tarantulas awakens ze king of the giants and our agent in ze Mirage Kingdom is finished viz his task ve vill have everyzing ve need to destroy ze Berry Kingdom…and retrieve ze even greater prize it is hiding."

"Ozzer zan its berries, you mean," Tarantulas said, licking his lips. Even though he didn't have lips. Or a tongue. Don't think about it too much.

"Yes, they do grow the best berries in the world there," Bellum said softly in reminiscence. "And I shall look forward to personally freezing their harvest and the land itself so that no berries ever grow there again. They will pay for what they did to me…"

Tarantulas sweatdropped. "Zhere sure are a lot of people you vant revenge on…"

"I have a lot of enemies. And you don't?" Bellum quipped.

"Touche," Tarantulas grunted.

"Tarantulas, Bellum, excellent work, both of you. I have other matters I must attend to now, so send me a more detailed report on your experiments and findings for my later perusal. In addition, start constructing an extra-strength version of these holding cells that I can use to examine Gardevoir in the privacy of my quarters without having to worry about her escaping. Even with her new abilities, she is no match for me…but a prolonged battle would ruin some of my more delicate equipment, so I would like to avoid such a confrontation if at all possible," Oblivion's Shadow said.

"It shall be as you command, mein Fuhrer!" Tarantulas declared.

"I've told you to stop calling me zat," Oblivion's Shadow grunted.

"Sorry, force of habit," Tarantulas apologized.

Oblivion's Shadow left, and Bellum and Tarantulas went to get the next Chobin clone while bickering about how the ice witch was going to transport and display her prized specimens at the Convocum without them possibly getting loose. None of them were aware of the conversation going on in the lab and throughout the fortress, on a level even deeper and more undetectable than dark telepathy. _She's taking us away?_ The terrified Wooper shrieked over the network of souls making up the resistance. _Oh Arceus, she's taking us away and we'll be far from the Mistress and there's nothing we can do and she'll do HORRIBLE THINGS to us and everyone will STARE at us and-_

_Calm down! _The Hitmonchan snapped, his authority as a second-generation 'aristocrat' giving weight to his words and silencing the frightened 'peasant's' tirade. _What is physical pain to we who have transcended life and death? And so what if we are apart? As long as our souls are bound together, the Mistress shall always be with us!_

_That's right, I will be_, Gardevoir said. _And you don't have to call me Mistress, you know._

_Yes, Mistress,_ the other vampires chorused. Gardevoir sweatdropped.

The vampire converts were the latest additions to the growing rebellion within the Nihilator headquarters. When they had been unwillingly transformed by Tarantulas and Bellum, their connection to Gardevoir through the virus flowing through their veins in turn connected them to the resistance network, and they promptly swore allegiance to the Teacher (though only because Gardevoir had told them to). Gardevoir wasn't sure she liked having people acting so subservient towards her and referring to her as 'Mistress' or 'Queen,' but her new friends couldn't seem to help themselves, and a part of herself—the part that reveled in the darkness of her newfound power—grew to expect and enjoy it.

_At least you guys will get a chance to see the outside,_ the prisoner elsewhere in the complex complained. _Which is more than most of us have had in ages._ There were numerous mutters of agreement.

_And this may be the opportunity we have been waiting for…_ the Teacher said. _If you could escape from Bellum while outside the fortress…_

_And what, deal with the hundreds of other mages that are going to be at that convention thing? They'd probably fry us rather than risk us infecting the rest of the world!_ The Doduo complained.

_Or capture us to perform experiments of their own against us…_ the Swalot said darkly.

_But even if they did, you would still be linked to us…and you could tell them what Bellum and her cohorts are _really _up to, and spread more awareness about the threat of the Nihilators,_ Gardevoir pointed out.

_I guess so…_ the Wooper said uneasily.

_And even if you were to die…remember that it will not be the end. You will simply join the rest of us in the network who have lost our bodies, and drift about in waiting for the day when we get our chance to strike back against the Nihilators, and maybe even get new bodies,_ said a Mothim who had been one of the first second-generation vampires created from Gardevoir's blood…and also one of the first to die under the knife.

_I'm not really looking forward to dying, though,_ the Doduo said. _And floating around without a body._

_But at least you won't feel anymore pain from silver or from the sun,_ said a Nosepass, another early vampire who had been experimented to death.

_We won't feel anything else, either,_ the Wooper complained.

_Cease your whimpering! If it is the will of the Mistress, then that is how it shall be!_ The Hitmonchan snapped, silencing the peasants.

Gardevoir sweatdropped. _Well, I wouldn't put it that way…but don't go out of your way to get yourselves killed, even if you would survive in one form or another, okay?_

_Yes, Mistress, _they chorused. She sighed.

_It's all well and good that they may be getting a chance at escape, but what about the rest of us? _The cook asked. _We're still stuck up here!_

_Not to mention that it's unlikely Gardevoir or any of the other new vamps will be able to break out to free us anytime soon,_ Kevin said. _Given all the safeguards they've put up._

_We should still be able to transmit information to the Absol traveling with Team Aurabolt by combining my Dark telepathy with the others once we've had enough time to build up our strength due to our limited rations,_ Gardevoir said. _And with the information we're going to give them, they can bring down the Nihilators!_

_Yes, but that's still relying too much on getting outside aid. Isn't there anything that _we _can do in here?_ The janitor asked.

_Yeah, and any way I can get turned? I wanna be a vampire, too!_ Lovrina complained.

_We would be more than happy to give you the gift and add you to our ranks,_ the Swalot said. _Although that will not be very likely for quite some time, given how securely all of us are imprisoned in this lab._

_Not necessarily,_ the Teacher said. _Gardevoir is soon to be transported to Oblivion's Shadow's quarters, yes? When she is being moved from cell to cell, she will no longer be surrounded by silver or bathed in ultraviolet radiation…and that, my friends, will be just the chance we've been looking for._

_How?_ Gardevoir asked. _I'll still be wearing silver, and they'll surely have Nihilators who can use Solarbeam on hand to keep me from doing anything like transforming, making a break for it, or hypnotizing them._

_Yes, but that's what they'll _expect_ you to try,_ the Teacher pointed out. _Something more subtle, more unexpected, on the other hand…that may just be what we need to prevail. Listen closely, my students…and you too, those of you who will soon be going abroad: here is what we are going to do…_

…

And what was this key? That'll have to wait for another time, as will such plotlines as Latias having her talk with Latios, Gary confronting Maren on her true identity, what Team Rocket is up to and why Darkrai's hiding it, what the Nihilators are plotting, and other such mysteries will not be resolved for quite some time.

Right now you should be focusing on more immediate affairs…such as Team Aurabolt reaching Zero Isle and having to deal with both the immortal pirates who dwell there _and_ the enigmatic Nihilator Supreme Admiral on their tail, the long-awaited assault on Mt. Blaze, the premiere of Hayzee's version of Maria and Draco and Team Nightshade's debut on stage, Team Rocket reaching the city of Hyperbeamorea, and Arceus knows what else I'll pull out of my ass. Big things are coming, so I hope you're ready for it!

This ends the second year working on this story. I'm pretty sure this thing will be long enough to reach a third birthday…how much longer will it go after that? Not even I know! But you fans have stuck with me this long, so keep on reading…you'll never believe the sorts of things the future holds in store!


	44. Curse of Zero Isle

And so we pass another milestone in this story. It's going to be a while until we hit the next one, so you readers can probably relax…for now.

With the last of the filler taken care of, it's time to get back on track with the main adventure. Team Aurabolt will reach Zero Isle and whatever awaits them there, Pokemon Square and the Draconian Empire will launch their assault on Mt. Blaze, Team Nightshade will start their performance, Team Rocket will reach Hyperbeamoria, and…that's probably it for subplots for a little while. From this point forward, things are going to _really_ heat up, which I'm sure everyone will enjoy.

So without further delay, let's get started!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

It was the fourth day of the _Peeko XI's_ voyage to Zero Isle. So far, the trip had been rather uneventful, even dull—save for Tiny's purification, the sea monster attack, and their conference with Darkrai the previous day-much as Briney had warned them, so everyone had been forced to find something to do to keep themselves occupied. Briney was holed up in the cockpit driving the boat and surreptitiously spying on everyone else, Sasha was snoozing on the deck while Ash tried to teach Tiny Aura nearby, Dawn and Pikachu were sparring on the boat's bow, and Leo and Lily were having an…uncomfortable conversation.

"And that's why the major comic book companies are going down the toilet!" Leo declared, finishing a forty-five minute rant.

Lily stared at him. "Leo, I was just saying it looked like very nice weather for the last day of our cruise. What did any of what you just said have to do with that?"

Leo blinked. "Oh. I must've misheard you, I thought you said something about the infamous 'One Last Day' Spinarak-Man storyline, not…that. Sorry if I went off on you, that thing's one of my major peeves."

"So I gathered," Lily said. She didn't think she'd seen anyone that worked up since the last time her mother lost the Rod of Merlin to her rival Fantina…come to think of it, the Convocum was coming up soon, wasn't it? She wondered what horrible project her mother would roll out for it this year. _I wonder when I'll get the chance to go?_ she thought wistfully. _Maybe next century, once everything's been settled and my unlife is my own for good. Though I don't know what _I_ could possibly bring to an event like that…maybe I'll ask Leo later, he seems to know a lot about conventions._

She was startled out of her thoughts when Briney loudly blew the ship's horn, causing Leo to yelp, Sasha to wake up with a snort, and Ash and Tiny to nearly fall over. "Land hoooooooooo!" the Metang bellowed.

Everyone quickly rushed to the front of the boat to look. Dawn and Pikachu were already there, and together they all looked at wonder at the spectacle they were approaching. Several nautical miles away lay a large island covered in luscious tropical growth, steep mountains, and tall majestic cliffs. The island itself didn't look particularly remarkable, fairly average as most islands went, but the fact that it was surrounded on all sides by a large multicolored multifaceted force field made it clear this was no ordinary land mass.

"So, that's Zero Isle, huh?" Ash said.

"It looks kind of pretty," Tiny said. "The force field, I mean."

"Well, it was made by Arcean magic, which is holy, so…that's not too surprising," Pikachu said.

_Will Lily's magic be able to get us through it?_ Dawn asked.

"I think so…" Lily said. "I'll need to get a closer look to be sure, though."

"And if not, we'll just pound at it until it goes down," Leo said. "My shades and Ash's Aura-sight should be able to spot any weaknesses."

"That had better work," Briney warned them. "I don't want to have to have come all this way for nothing."

"On the plus side, if we can't get in, then neither can the Nihilators," Pikachu said.

Ash frowned. "I wouldn't be so sure about that…"

"Then let's get over there and take it before they can," Sasha said urgently. The others nodded in agreement. They got off the bow and Briney went into the cockpit, restarting the engines and sending them on their way towards the isle.

They were still unaware that they were being followed. "Papa, they're approaching Zero Isle," the spy reported.

"_Hmm, just as I suspected…that means the sixth Star Badge must be hidden there,"_ the Supreme Admiral mused. _"No wonder nobody has found it before now! Won't Oblivion's Shadow be pleased to hear about this…"_

"Shall I keep following them, Papa?" the spy asked.

"_No, return to base. I will be there shortly. Mow that we know where Team Aurabolt is headed and what they're up to…I think it's time we removed them from the equation. I've dispatched my 'pet.' You may want to leave the vicinity quickly, child. It will not be safe to be there much longer,"_ the Admiral said.

"Yes, Papa," the spy said, signing off. It glanced at the _Peeko XI_ one last time before heading out. It did not envy the ship's crew…their demise would not be pleasant.

…

A little later…

Briney reversed the engines to slow the vessel down, bringing them to a gradual stop several dozen meters away from the shimmering barrier encircling Zero Isle. The waters around the force field were rather choppy due to the waves constantly sloshing against the wall in a futile attempt to pass through, in counterpoint to the rather placid sea on the other side. A soft hum emanated from the shield that reverberated in their bones, but not unpleasantly. "Pretty impressive, huh?" Leo commented, taking a picture.

Ash nodded, opening his eyes after a brief scan with Aura-sight. "Very solid. I don't see any seams or weak spots anywhere. That's going to be one tough nut to crack."

Pikachu nodded. "The Arceans know their stuff. Master Yamiri proved that to us."

"Then why didn't they do a better job of cleaning Yamatorochi's bell so someone like Brodie couldn't try and revive the old snake?" Ash asked.

"Or kept their holy relics better locked up so that the bell was stored somewhere safer and Leo couldn't have bought the dice of St. Gygax online?" Sasha asked.

Pikachu sweatdropped. "Well…no religion is perfect…"

"Hey, don't forget that those holy dice have come in handy a few times," Leo pointed out. "I wouldn't have been able to defeat Mewgle without them!"

"That's true," Pikachu admitted. "I guess some good came of the relic keeper being lazy…and greedy."

"It certainly was nice of Master Yamiri to let you keep the dice," Lily said.

"Although that was more because he promised not to tell his superiors you had them than because the Order's okay with it," Tiny said.

Leo shrugged. "I'm just happy to still have them. They'll probably be useful again someday, like when Mewgle inevitably returns."

"What makes you think he'll return? He seemed pretty much dead after you beat him in a children's card game," Pikachu said.

"Because he's my fated rival, duh," Leo said. "And he still needs to explain how that happened, meaning there's an unresolved plotline between us that needs to be solved. There's no way he can be dead for good with something like that dangling!"

Pikachu sweatdropped. "I'd argue, but you're probably right…"

"Well, if he tries to mess with us I'll introduce him to a little game of my own," Briney said, cracking his knuckles ominously. "And speaking of bones…"

"Who said we were talking about bones?" asked a confused Ash.

_Many dice used to be made out of bone,_ Dawn said. _And in some parts of the world they are called 'knucklebones' rather than dice._

"Ew," Tiny said.

"Anyway," Briney said loudly. "Speaking of bones…there's supposed to be a bunch of undead pirates on the other side of that shield, right?"

"Supposedly the evilest pirates who ever lived, then died, then lived again," Lily agreed.

"Which we're apparently going to have to unleash back onto the seas if we're going to reach the island…" Pikachu said, an unhappy frown on his face.

"We can take them," Ash said confidently.

"Yeah, we've got plenty of root beer," Leo agreed.

"I doubt we'll need it," Briney said. "There hasn't been a pirate born who could best ol' Captain Briney!"

"But they're undead," Tiny pointed out. "Doesn't that mean they _could_ best you?"

"No," Briney said flatly.

_I don't suppose there's any way we can get to the island without lowering the shield that's keeping the pirates trapped there?_ Dawn asked.

"Hmm. Let me see…" Lily said, pulling out her book and cracking it open. Holding it before her, she floated before the barrier, glancing from it to her book and back as she flipped through the pages, muttering to herself every now and then. She cast a few spells at the shield, and frowned thoughtfully when it rippled and changed colors in reaction to her magic. Finally, she closed the book, sighed, and drifted back to the _Peeko._

"Well?" Ash asked.

"I'm afraid it's all-or-nothing," Lily said. "I can lower the shield, but after that there's no way of reactivating it. I also can't open a portal to get us through it or create a temporary hole in its side; either we leave it up, or we take it down. Those are our only options."

"But if we take it down, then Barbedo's crew can finally leave their prison and go back to terrorizing the high seas after two thousand years of incarceration," Pikachu pointed out.

"Then we'll just have to defeat them before they get the chance and take the Star Badge," Ash said.

"It can't really be that easy, can it?" Tiny asked doubtfully.

_Pirates are no match against a trained ninja,_ Dawn said confidently.

"I thought you said pirates and ninjas weren't rivals," Leo said.

_We aren't. To acknowledge pirates as rivals would mean we would have to consider them our equals,_ Dawn said.

"Ah," Leo said.

"Think of it this way. They've been stuck on that island for two thousand years with nothing to do. Their skills have probably long since atrophied while they rotted on that gulag," Briney suggested.

"Unless they spent those two thousand years fighting each other to keep up their strength," Pikachu pointed out.

"Yes, each _other_. Meaning they'll have no experience against the fighting skills and abilities of modern Pokemon like ourselves," Briney countered.

"…Hmm. That's true," Pikachu admitted. "They'll certainly have no idea how to deal with someone like Leo."

"Should I be insulted or flattered?" Leo asked.

"Take it whichever way you want," Pikachu said.

"Something else to consider is that while I sense a high potentiality of danger from Zero Isle…the probability is lower than I would expect," Sasha said.

Ash frowned. "What does that mean?"

"I am not certain," Sasha said. "Just that, for whatever reason, they may not be as big a threat as we initially believed…"

"Maybe the smoke monster got them," Leo said.

They looked at him in confusion. "The what?" Tiny asked.

"Do you mean a Gastly or Koffing?" Lily asked.

Leo blinked. "No, I meant…er, never mind. I've been watching too much _Misplaced_. Mon, is that ever a weird show…"

"So…should I lower the barrier or not?" Lily asked, getting them back on subject. "If we leave it up, we can't get the Star Badge, but neither can the Nihilators…at least, not for a while. If we lower it, we can get the Badge, but we'll also have to deal with the consequences of releasing whatever is lurking there."

They thought about this for a moment. "We might as well," Ash said finally. "We've come this far."

"And it would be a waste of time and fuel for us to have come all the way out here for nothing," Briney agreed.

"We can take care of whatever's on that island," Leo said assuredly.

"I suppose if we have no other choice…" Pikachu said reluctantly.

_I am not afraid of any undead pirates,_ Dawn said.

"It should not be more dangerous than anything _else_ we do on a regular basis," Sasha pointed out.

"I guess if there's no other way," Tiny relented.

Lily shrugged. "All right, then. Give me a moment." She floated back in front of the barrier and opened her book again. She closed her eyes and started chanting in an unknown tongue. As usual, her singing voice was excellent, even though nobody really knew what she was saying, and it didn't sound nearly as creepy as the tune she had used to summon Darkrai the previous day. Energy motes started glittering around her, and the pages of her book began glowing, the leaves rustling in a mystical wind that blew in from nowhere. Orbs and streamers of light rose from the book and gathered above Lily's pointed witch hat, swirling around each other and coalescing into a crackling sphere of eldritch power. As Lily chanted, the sphere grew and grew as it drew power from the book and the area around her until it was at least twice as big as the witch herself.

With a great cry, she hurled the energy ball at the barrier. The orb smashed into the force field, causing it to ripple as the wall absorbed it. There was a pause, and then the ripples increased, the surface of the shield distorting as its colors started violently clashing with one another. Sparks and arcs of electricity crackled off of it, causing everyone's hair to stand on end. (Those who had hair, anyway.) With a tremendous thunderclap, the force field began to dissipate, its myriad colors fading away into nothingness as the whole thing disintegrated into motes of light which swiftly vanished as well. The boat rocked as the seawater surged forward to mingle with the waters around the island, the two masses of water joining with an eagerness akin to two long-separated lovers reunited after years apart. As her friends looked on in wonder, Lily smiled weakly. "There. It's done."

Then she nearly fell out of the air. She managed to catch herself at the last minute, but too late to keep from giving her friends a scare. "Lily!" Leo cried in alarm.

"Are you all right?" Ash asked in concern.

"I-I'm fine," Lily said, storing her spellbook back in her hat and drifting over wobbly. "I just need a minute to recover. That took a bit more power than I had anticipated. Even after two thousand years, the spell the Arcean priests cast is still very strong."

"And now it's gone," Pikachu said sadly. "They gave up their lives to seal Barbedo and his crew here…and we ruined their sacrifice, just like that."

"Think of it this way, if we didn't break it, someone else would have sooner or later," Briney said.

Leo nodded. "Yeah, no barrier or seal lasts forever. Plus, it's for a good cause. I'm sure they wouldn't have minded."

"And if they would have, they're all dead anyway so there's nothing they can do about it," Sasha said.

"Unless they left behind a curse to destroy anyone who broke the seal," Lily said.

There was a long pause. "Er…did they?" Pikachu asked finally.

Lily frowned. "I don't think so…"

"I do not sense any danger," Sasha said.

"And nothing's happened yet, so…guess there's nothing to worry about," said Leo.

"Other than the undead pirates," Tiny said.

"Yeah, other than them," Leo said.

"Then let's go say hello to them, shall we?" Briney said. "And if they don't politely hand over the Star Badge when we ask for it, we'll break 'em into so many pieces it'll take ages to pull themselves back together."

Briney restarted the engines and steered the boat towards the island. "I wonder how they'll react to the first visitors to their little world in two millennia," Ash commented.

"Either they'll be overjoyed to see a fresh face, or they'll be terrified to see someone who still has flesh on their bones," Leo predicted.

"They've certainly missed out on a lot cooped up here…I wonder what they'll think of the modern world? A world without humans in it…" Pikachu contemplated.

_In many ways, they are the last of their kind…unless you count Ash,_ Dawn said.

The Lucario frowned at her. "Hey, I'm not and never have been a pirate! Well, except that one time for Halloween…that doesn't count, does it?"

"She meant that many of them are humans, just like you," Tiny said.

"Oh. Right," Ash said Mareepishly. He frowned in thought. That's right, the pirates were humans, weren't they? Would they be able to communicate with Pokemon like themselves? From what he recalled of his time, humans and Pokemon didn't understand each other. Since the pirates had come from long before that, he doubted they did, either.

Or maybe they'd have figured it out, having been stuck on their island for two thousand years with nobody to talk to but each other and their Pokemon. They'd have to see for themselves when they ran into them. And if they were hostile…well, then his fists would do the talking for him, a universal language that just about any species would recognize. "Will they be able to cope with a world so different from what they remember? I know I had trouble getting used to Pokemon Square the first few weeks after I arrived there, so they might not know how to deal with the way things have changed either."

"Perhaps they will wish to remain in the environment they are comfortable in rather than struggle to acclimate to a world that has left them behind," Sasha suggested.

"Do you ever feel that way?" Lily asked the Absol. "I mean, since you live out in the untamed wilderness, rather than towns and cities and the like."

"Sometimes," Sasha admitted. "But no matter how strange or frightening I find the civilized world to be, I can't deny that it has its allure and advantages, unusual though they might be. It is unwise to ignore it, because it has ways of affecting me and my kind, no matter how hard we may try to avoid it."

"Then we might not get in a fight?" Tiny asked.

Ash chuckled and affectionately rubbed the Larvitar's horn. "Of course we'll get into a fight! Have we ever gone anywhere that hasn't inevitably resulted in us busting some heads?" Tiny sweatdropped.

There was a rumble, and the sky darkened as storm clouds swirled together, blotting out the sun. Team Aurabolt looked up in surprise as the clouds burst open and started showering torrents of rain down on them. "That's funny," Ash murmured. "It didn't look like it was going to start raining…"

"Leo, did you do this?" Pikachu asked.

"What? No way!" Leo said indignantly. "I don't even have my headdress on!"

Sasha frowned. "Something doesn't feel right…"

The boat rocked as the water turned choppy, rough waves buffeting the _Peeko XI_ as the storm intensified. Lightning cracked and thunder crashed, and Briney cursed as he struggled with the wheel. "What the Abyss? The weather forecast said it was supposed to be clear and sunny today!" the Metang snarled. "Lousy weathermon…I thought Castforms were supposed to always be spot-on with their predictions! What gives?"

The heroes grabbed onto handholds on the railing and deck to keep from being knocked overboard, flinching as seawater splashed into their faces and the wind roared in their ears. "Is this retribution for destroying the barrier?" Pikachu shouted over the howling winds. "Was there a curse after all?"

"No! Something else is causing this!" Lily yelled back.

Sasha shuddered, eyes closed and hair standing on end. "Something is coming…something from the deep…"

"Another sea monster, like the one we missed the other day?" Ash asked, holding onto Tiny to keep the Larvitar from slipping away as the boat shook under their feet.

Sasha shook her head. "_Worse._"

Briney cursed as the sonar screen picked up a massive object rising towards them. "Oh, Abyss's bells! It's coming right at us! Everyone, brace yourselves!" He shifted the engines into full throttle and surged forward, nearly knocking the others over and coming close to flinging Pikachu over the side, had Dawn not caught him in time. The Captain moved the _Peeko_ out of the way just in time, as the ocean frothed and suddenly an immense creature burst from the spot the ship had just vacated and rose into the air, arcing above the boat and giving the horrified crew an eyeful of its massive form as it passed overhead, water spilling off its behemoth body. Naturally, Leo took a picture.

Two wing-like fins ending in four square 'claws' with strange red markings along their length. A deep blue body with a white chin marked by two spikes. A massive mouth filled with sharp triangular teeth. Savage blue eyes in recessed hollows rimmed with red lines and a pair of large white spots above each eye. Two small fins on the back with two stripes running horizontally below them. A tail tattered into four trails. All this put together made up a single Pokemon, unique in all the seas: Kyogre, ruler of the oceans!

The Sea Basin Pokemon roared, its cry a deep and bloodcurdling howl of fury unlike the soothing and peaceful songs of its Wailord 'cousins'. Kyogre dove back into the water on the other side of the _Peeko_, its impact sending up a great tidal wave that might have capsized the vessel had Briney not used his powers to split it so it went around the boat. "Holy shit!" Leo screamed finally.

_Was that…was that who I think it was?_ Dawn asked.

"Kyogre…the goddess of the seas!" Lily gasped incredulously.

"But that's impossible! She's supposed to be imprisoned at the bottom of the Stormy Sea back in Kanjohenn!" a shocked Pikachu protested.

"So was Groudon, in the Magma Cavern Pit," Ash said angrily. "But the Nihilators busted him out easily enough in spite of that, didn't they?"

Tiny blinked. "Then you think…"

"That they're behind this? They very well might be," Sasha said.

"That, or she decided to break the rules and come after us as payback for the beating we gave her the last time we met," Pikachu said.

_Is she a Shadow Pokemon?_ Dawn asked.

Ash closed his eyes and searched the waters with his Aura-sight, looking for the whale-like Pokemon's energy signature. "No," he said. "She's very angry, but she's not a Shadow. Something seems…off, though."

_She's being controlled,_ Briney said telepathically, since he couldn't leave the cockpit lest they get overwhelmed by the waves. _I tried to get into her mind. There's something _else_ guiding her from afar. Something vindictive and full of rage…rage directed at you, Ash._

"Me?" Ash cried in alarm.

Pikachu gasped. "Then…is it Oblivion's Shadow?"

_No,_ Briney said. _Doesn't feel like _that_ one's mind. Don't know who it is, though. The link between Kyogre's mind and whoever's controlling her is too secure…I can't trace it._

"If she's being controlled, then that means we must free her!" Lily declared.

"Assuming she doesn't kill us first!" Leo cried as Kyogre surfaced in the distance and started swimming towards them. "Look out! Incoming!"

"Activating weapons systems!" Briney bellowed, punching a series of buttons in the cockpit. Hatches flipped open all over the hull of the _Peeko_, and missile batteries and energy cannons emerged. Briney turned the boat so the broadside was facing Kyogre and let the beast have it with a full salvo of energy bolts and rockets. The shots and projectiles peppered Kyogre's front, causing the divine whale to hiss—more from irritation than actual pain—and pause in her charge. This didn't mean the heroes were off the hook, however, because the whale opened her jaws and spat an enormous Water Pulse at them, the blue sphere of water swelling up until it became big enough to destroy the ship.

Or it would have, if Leo and Dawn hadn't quickly fired their Ice Beams at it, freezing it solid, and then everyone else hit it with their strongest attacks with backup fire from the _Peeko's_ weapons, shattering the frozen Pulse to pieces. Kyogre snarled and dove back underwater. "Where'd she go?" Leo asked, looking all over the place.

"She could be anywhere…ready to strike at a moment's notice!" Lily said in alarm.

"Relax…I can see her, right underneath us," Ash said, looking through the deck and the water beneath them using Aura-sight.

"So can I, thanks to my instruments," Briney said.

"And how is that a good thing?" Pikachu demanded.

"Because that's what I've got mines for," Briney said, pushing another button and causing a half-dozen metal spheres with spikes on their sides to drop out of a hatch on the underside of the ship and sink towards the rising Kyogre. The whale narrowed her eyes and fired an Aqua Pulse up at the sinking explosives, thinking to destroy them before they could reach her. Unfortunately for her, Briney had purchased mines designed for just such an eventuality…so when the mines' proximity sensors detected the attack coming at them, they abruptly shattered, the spikes launching off the sides and flying around the Pulse towards Kyogre as the energy sphere vaporized the harmless shells they had left behind. The whale's eyes widened in alarm as the spikes shot towards her, and she quickly flipped over, bringing up her rear to knock the spikes away with Aqua tail. The streams of water spiraling around her tail deflected and detonated several of the missiles…but a half-dozen survived, swerving around Kyogre's tail and digging into her flesh. She howled in pain…and howled even louder when the spikes exploded, tearing open a huge hole in her side.

On the surface, the heroes watched as a waterspout erupted from the spot where Briney had dropped the mines, caused by the explosion. Bits of blue and pink flesh plopped down into the ocean as the water turned red with blood. Leo grabbed one of the bits. "Leo, what are you going to do with that?" Pikachu asked uneasily.

"Do you suppose eating the blood and flesh of a god grants immortality?" Leo wondered.

Lily made a face. "You're not really going to eat that, are you?"

"Why not? Sasha is," Leo pointed out.

Everyone turned to look at Sasha, who was chewing a larger hunk of Kyogre meat. She froze, caught in the act. "What?" she said around a mouthful of whale blubber. "It's not that bad. And I'm hungry, we haven't had lunch yet."

Tiny reached for a piece. "Tiny!" Ash said sharply. "I thought you were over that!"

"Sorry. Force of habit," the Larvitar apologized.

Leo licked the piece of meat he was holding. He grimaced and threw it overboard. "Ick. Never mind. Not my kind of thing"

"It's an acquired taste," Sasha said, licking her lips as she finished her snack.

"Um…anyway…is that it? Did we win?" Lily asked.

"No," Briney replied from the cockpit. "She's coming back up, madder than ever!"

Kyogre surfaced some distance away, a mad look in her glowing blue eyes as blood gushed from the shallow wound Briney's mines had cut open in her side. She bellowed in rage as the water around her churned and swelled up, creating an absolutely gigantic tidal wave as she used Surf. The boat dipped as the water it was sitting on receded, pulled into the massive wave that Kyogre summoned as it grew bigger and bigger until it towered above them, the divine whale riding on top of it with the intent of smashing down on them and burying them beneath her mass.

"Oh, shit," Pikachu said, his jaw dropping.

_Leo! We must freeze it together!_ Dawn clicked.

"Huh? I have no idea what you just said because there's too much rain and thunder and wind to hear your claws, but I think we need to combine our Ice Beams to freeze that thing!" Leo shouted. Dawn sweatdropped.

The Buneary and Squirtle took deep breaths and fired Ice Beams at the giant tsunami, their powers combining—with some effort—to freeze the wave solid, trapping Kyogre in an icy prison. She snarled in rage and thrashed about, trying to break free from the frozen water holding her in place. "Quick, hit her with everything you've got!" Ash yelled as the boat stabilized under their feet, no longer getting drawn towards the wave.

The others nodded and launched their attacks, pelting Kyogre with Thunderbolts, Shadow Balls, Psycho Cuts, Hidden Power, Aura Spheres, ice kunai, Ice Beams, a Hyper Beam or two from Briney, and quite a lot of weapons fire from the _Peeko's_ artillery. Kyogre squeezed her eyes shut in pain and frustration as volley after volley of attacks washed over her, weakening the ice around her but failing to free her from her prison. Losing her temper, she roared and opened her jaws, gathering power for a Hyper Beam.

"She's charging up! When she fires, it's going to be REALLY bad!" Ash cried, remembering the last time they had fought Kyogre.

"But right now she's vulnerable! Hit her even harder! Aim for the mouth!" Pikachu yelled, charging up for another Thunder attack.

In unison, they blasted the growing ball of golden energy in Kyogre's mouth with their strongest techniques, aided once again by munitions fire from the _Peeko's_ weapons. The attacks collided with the charging Hyper Beam, causing it to blow up in Kyogre's mouth with a tremendous explosion that shattered the frozen tsunami, flung Kyogre head over tail away, and nearly tipped the _Peeko_ over. It was only Briney's sailing skills and psychic powers that kept them from all being knocked into the brink as the ocean rushed forward to reclaim the space that had been vacated by the destroyed Surf attack. The divine whale splashed down some distance away, the water turning red as she sank beneath the surface.

"Yatta! That was awesome!" Leo yelled giddily.

"Did that finish her?" Lily asked.

"No," Sasha said, grinding her teeth. "The danger is not over yet…"

Ash nodded, keeping track of Kyogre with Aura-sight. "We've wounded her…but she's still alive, and even angrier now! She's coming back towards us, but staying underwater, where most of our attacks can't reach her."

"That's where she's wrong," Briney said, pushing a button. "Firing torpedoes!"

A pair of oblong motor-propelled missiles launched from tubes on the underside of the _Peeko_ and raced towards Kyogre, the painted Sharpedo faces on their warheads grinning in anticipation of the kill. Kyogre, blood trailing from the gaping wounds and broken teeth in her mouth, hissed and lashed out with Aqua Tail, deflecting the missiles and causing them to blow up harmlessly away from her. She then opened her jaws, ignoring how much it hurt to do so, and fired an Ice Beam at the _Peeko_, freezing the water around and beneath it and trapping it in a small ice ring.

"Blast it! We can't move!" Briney snarled angrily as he desperately tried to get the iced-over engines working.

"We're sitting Psyducks! What do we do?" Tiny cried in alarm.

"Break the ice before she can hit us!" Pikachu said, leaping onto the deck railing and thrusting his sword into the ice below, channeling electricity through the sacred blade to crack the frozen surface.

The others joined in, pummeling and blasting and burning at the ice in a frantic attempt to free the boat. It was too little too late, however, as Kyogre erupted from the water several hundred meters away and rose into the air, her mouth gaping wide and firing a full-powered Hyper Beam at the _Peeko._ Briney managed to shield them with Protect in the nick of time, but it was only with great effort that he managed to keep the energy beam from breaking through and tearing the ship apart. "Gah…she packs quite a punch, doesn't she?" the Metang gasped once Kyogre had dove back underwater and his shield faded.

"Well, she _is_ a legendary, and an incredibly powerful one, too," Sasha pointed out.

"Ash, Pikachu, you fought her before, right? How did you defeat her?" Lily asked.

"Yeah, is there any way we can repeat whatever you did?" Leo asked.

Pikachu grimaced. "Probably not."

"The last time we fought Kyogre, we had a spell from then-Father Yamiri and Sabrina to renew the seal keeping Kyogre imprisoned at the bottom of the Stormy Sea," Pikachu said. "We also had help from a couple of aquatic Rescue Teams and a Wailord or two. Even with their help, we barely managed to recharge her shackles, which had been loosened by Groudon awakening and nearly breaking out of the Magma Cavern Pit."

"What'd those two do to get sealed away, anyway?" Tiny asked.

_I think they had another fight that resulted in at least two or three million Pokemon dying and almost destroyed a continent many years ago,_ Dawn recalled. _After that, the great Rayquaza had enough of their shenanigans and bound them deep beneath the land and sea, so that they would not cause any more damage in their petty feuds._

"He should have bound them tighter, considering that _both_ of them are awake and apparently in enemy hands now," Leo complained. Dawn glared at him.

"Do you think either of them knows their counterpart is awake as well?" Lily wondered.

"I hope not. That knowledge could trigger yet another war between them…" Pikachu said. "I suppose we can thank the Nihilators for keeping that from happening. Or we would if they weren't using both of them to further their evil!"

"And trying to wreck my ship!" Briney snarled, banging on his console. "Damn her…she keeps evading my mines and torpedoes! And…" He frowned. "What's she doing now?"

Sasha gasped, her danger-sense spiking. "Briney! We need to move the ship out of the way _now!"_

"We can't! We're still ice-locked!" Briney protested.

"Not anymore we're not," Lily said, summoning rings of fire that burst outward from the boat, melting the ice keeping them trapped.

"Why didn't you do that before?" Ash asked.

She blushed. "Sorry, I panicked."

Briney restarted the engine. Much to his relief, Lily's flames had thawed the rotors so they could move again. "Brace yourselves!" he roared, shifting into full throttle.

The _Peeko_ lunged forward…and just in time, too, as the water behind them bubbled and a tremendous Waterspout erupted from the depths, a torrential jet of water that would have ripped the boat in half if it had gotten caught in it. They weren't out of danger yet, however, as the enraged Kyogre sent more Waterspouts their way. Sasha and Ash were able to sense the incoming attacks and shout directions to Briney, who frantically steered out of the way of the water pillars. He was forced to take a swerving, chaotically zigzagging course that jerked back and forth so rapidly that many of the others started feeling sick, and Tiny threw up. (He was conscientious enough to do it over the side of the boat, so that Ash wouldn't have to clean it up later.)

When a lull came in Kyogre's assault as the whale paused to recharge, Briney slowed the _Peeko's_ desperate flight, allowing the others to catch their breath. "How are we supposed to fight her like this?" Ash said angrily. "Our attacks can't reach her at the depth she's at, Briney's weapons aren't working, and if we dove down there to fight her directly, she'd tear us apart!"

Leo gasped, his eyes lighting up. "That's it! I have a brilliant idea!"

Ash and Pikachu exchanged concerned looks. "Should we be worried?" Pikachu asked.

Leo scowled. "No, because this plan will save us all!"

"That only makes me more worried," Ash said. Leo sighed in exasperation.

"I'm all for it, though I'm not entirely happy about anyone but myself messing around with my beloved _Peeko's_ innards," Briney called from the cockpit, perceiving Leo's plan in an instant thanks to his psychic abilities and deciding it was worth a shot. "Get in here, boy! And don't touch anything other than what you absolutely have to!"

"You can count on me, Captain!" Leo cried eagerly, pulling out some tools as he rushed up the stairs to the cockpit, nearly slipping and falling several times due to all the water sloshing around from the rain and the savage waves.

"Should the fact that Briney approves of the plan—whatever it is-reassure us or make us even _more_ concerned?" Pikachu asked.

_If it saves us, I'm not complaining,_ Dawn said.

Lily frowned. "Why are you always acting like something terrible's going to happen whenever Leo gets an idea? He's very smart. I'm sure whatever he's up to will work!"

"We're sure it will," Ash admitted. "That's not what we're worried about, though."

"We're worried about _how_ it'll work…and what the end result might be," Pikachu said.

Sasha stiffened, her danger-sense spiking. "Captain! Move the boat! Kyogre is about to attack us from the right!"

"You mean starboard?" Briney called back.

"Whichever isn't the left! Move! NOW!" Sasha shouted.

Briney fired up the engines and turned hard to port, narrowly missing an Ice Beam that would have frozen them in place again, followed by a succession of Hyper Beams and Waterspouts that forced them to frantically zigzag all over the place, energy blasts and pillars of pressurized water blasting from the surface of the ocean in their wake. The heroes did the best they could to keep from being thrown overboard as Briney steered like a madmon. "Leo, how's that plan of yours coming?" Ash yelled.

"Almost done!" Leo, who was under one of the control panels in the cockpit frantically rerouting wires and soldering circuit patches and other devices he pulled out of his shell to the ship's systems, replied. "I'm going to need Lily and Tiny in here in a minute, though, if this long shot of mine is going to work!"

Lily nodded. "Right! Let's go, Tiny!"

"O-okay," Tiny said nervously. He followed the ghost towards the cockpit. The others came after them, both to find out just what Leo was up to and to try and get some shelter from the freezing wind and water. They all barely managed to squeeze into the cockpit, and the rather odious smell of wet fur quickly filled the room, which Briney informed them they'd be cleaning up later along with all the puddles of water and loose hairs they were getting all over the floor.

"All right…that should do it!" Leo said as he finished splicing the last of the wires together and sat up, wiping oil from his face with a washcloth.

"And what is 'it,' exactly?" Sasha asked.

"Well, it's pretty simple, really," Leo said. "Water is a better medium for sound than air is. That means lots of marine Pokemon have more sensitive hearing—at least, while underwater—than terrestrial Pokemon do, to pick up threats ahead of time and find their way about more easily. It's also why so many Water-types know or can learn Supersonic, to help them navigate undersea better. The sonar systems of most boats are designed so as not to interfere with the senses of ocean Pokemon—that led to a _lot_ of awkward mix-ups and nearly fatal misunderstandings back in the day—but I figured that if I could recalibrate Briney's sonar so that it _did_ interfere with Kyogre's hearing, we could stun her long enough to get in a direct hit with some torpedoes!"

"…That's brilliant," said an impressed Ash.

Leo rolled his eyes. "Well, duh, I came up with it! And just to make sure it works…" He held out a microphone. "I've hooked this baby up to the ship's sonar emitter. Tiny, Lily, I want you to Screech into this as loud as you possibly can. That should create a high-pitched sonic pulse so powerful that I'd be very much surprised if it doesn't render Kyogre deaf for quite some time."

"All right," Lily said. She and Tiny took deep breaths, and the others took steps back.

"Ah, wait! On second thought, before you do that…" Leo interrupted, realizing his faux pas. He reached into his shell and pulled out several earmuffs. "We should all probably be wearing these so _we_ don't go deaf, either."

_That is something I would very much like to avoid,_ Dawn clicked, managing to fit the earmuffs over her oversized sensory organs.

"Why did you have so many pairs of these in the first place, Leo?" Pikachu asked as he put on his own set.

"For just such an occasion!" Leo said smugly.

Pikachu sighed. "Right, stupid question…"

After everyone had put on earmuffs, Leo raised the microphone again. "Okay, now that we're all ready…Lily, Tiny, hit her with your best scream!"

They did. The ghost and the Larvitar shrieked so loudly that even through their earmuffs, their teammates flinched, getting a bit of a headache. All the windows and several of the instruments shattered, and Briney telepathically roared that they were going to have to clean that up, too. The effect on Kyogre was even more impressive, however: the corrupted divine whale howled in agony as she was bombarded by the weaponized sonic blast, her eardrums rupturing from the sheer intensity of the assault and causing blood to gush from her earholes and mouth as she convulsed, stunned and crippled by the attack.

"I think it worked," Briney said, glancing at the sonar screen, which was cracked but still serviceable. "She's not moving."

"Yatta!" Leo cheered. "Just as I planned!"

"Good job, Leo!" Ash congratulated.

"I knew it would work!" Lily said happily.

"Hmm, I'd almost forgotten how good it was to scream sometimes…" Tiny commented.

Leo chuckled. "Heh, if you think that's good, maybe I should have gone with my original plan and used Saleen Dion instead…I bet Kyogre's head would have exploded!"

_Captain, while she's stunned…hit her now!_ Dawn clicked.

"That I will, lass!" Briney said, pushing a button. "Firing torpedoes!"

Two torpedoes launched from the tubes on the underside of the _Peeko_ and streaked towards Kyogre, who was too much in agony to do anything about them. Her blue eyes widened in horror as they impacted and detonated, creating a tremendous explosion. A great pillar of water, much of it tinged red with blood, blasted out of the deep and rained down near the boat. "Yatta!" Leo cheered again.

"Did that finish her?" Tiny asked.

Sasha shook her head. "I still sense we are in danger…"

"And she's still on my screen!" Briney swore angrily as the figure of Kyogre continued flashing on his sonar panel. "And she's…swimming in circles for some reason. What is she up to?"

They got their answer when the sea rumbled and collapsed on itself, a large portion several dozen meters away sinking downward and creating a massive whirlpool that reached all the way towards the seafloor. The tremendous current generated by the vortex reversed the tides and started pulling everything nearby into its gaping maw…including the _Peeko XI._ "Ah," Pikachu said. "That explains it."

"She's using Whirlpool!" Lily cried, stating the obvious.

"We're going to get sucked in!" Sasha shouted, also stating the obvious.

"Oh, no we're not…" Briney growled, firing up the engines. "Not on my watch!" The rotors started turning at full power, churning the water as the _Peeko_ fought against the current and tried to break free from the whirlpool's grip.

Emphasis on 'tried.' "It's not enough," Leo said in alarm, looking at several flashing lights and gauges on the control panel. "The engines are overheating…at this rate, they'll break down and then there'll be nothing keeping us from being dragged under!"

"Wrong. There's one thing," Briney growled.

"Huh? Oh, right, my portals!" Lily realized. "I can just make out one of the beaches on the island from here. I can open a portal to get us there, or even to Treasure Town!"

"What? No, that's not what I was talking about!" Briney snarled. "We're not abandoning the _Peeko!_"

"We don't have to, I can open a portal big enough for the ship to fit through," Lily said.

"You can do that?" asked the surprised Pikachu.

"Yes, but it'll use up a lot of energy," Lily said.

"…Well, I suppose it's better than my initial plan, which was that I use all my willpower and Psychic power to push the _Peeko_ out of harm's way," Briney admitted. "All right, lass, start working that magic of yours-"

Sasha gasped, danger-sense flaring stronger than ever. "LOOK OUT!"

Ash blinked. "Huh? What-"

That's when Kyogre, scarred and bleeding all over from the wounds they had inflicted on her throughout the battle, lunged out of the water and slammed into the _Peeko XI_ with all her might, knocking them off-course and flinging them into the heart of the whirlpool. They screamed as they were sucked down into the depths, Ash horrified (and, despite Briney's constant reprimands, secretly relieved that now he didn't have to worry about turning into a monster and killing his friends), Pikachu regretting that he was going to die without a name, Lily too startled to open a portal, Leo too panicky to come up with a clever plan to save them, Tiny screaming for his mother, Dawn lamenting that she couldn't protect her master (or kill Paul), Sasha oddly calm because her senses told her that, as deadly as this situation was, it _was not_ the end…

And nobody noticed Briney press a single button on his console before slamming into them with all his psychic and physical might, flinging them out of the cockpit and into the maelstrom. Not until it was too late, anyway.

…

Kyogre grinned, as did the Nihilator Supreme Admiral, who was watching through the whale's eyes. "Gyahahahaha! It looks like the legendary Captain Briney is all 'washed-up!'" He waited for a laugh from his minions, arrayed before him in his throne room. None came. "Get it? Because he's being washed out to sea, and…oh, never mind," he grumbled when he saw they were staring at him in blank incomprehension. "Anyway…to make sure they don't somehow manage to survive drowning, I have a pack of Sharpedo waiting at the bottom of the whirlpool to swallow them up. Then you will retrieve the map and whatever Star Badges are left behind from the remains, and I will have my revenge on Ash, Oblivion's Shadow will reward me for defeating our greatest enemies and claiming the keys to our ultimate victory, and-" He was interrupted when suddenly the _Peeko XI _exploded, causing Kyogre to shriek in pain and surprise and back away, the startled Sharpedo to scatter, and for the whirlpool to collapse on itself, burying the ship's remains beneath several thousand metric tons of water.

The Admiral stammered in disbelief. "Wh-what the…what just happened?"

"Um, the boat exploded, Papa," one of his minions said.

The Admiral hit him. "I _know_ that, you idiot! But _why_ did it explode? Contrary to popular belief and what movies indicate, boats don't just _explode_ like that at the drop of a hat! Start searching the remains, I want to find out why that ship exploded and whether or not it damaged our quarry!"

He sent his minions out to investigate the wreck of the _Peeko_ along with Kyogre and the Sharpedo, once they had been calmed down and given someone to eat. The results were not to the Admiral's liking. Apparently the boat had blown up because it was lined with explosives designed to rip the vessel to pieces at the push of a button, a regular 'self-destruct mechanism' to keep the boat out of enemy hands. That was irritating, but not nearly as bad as the revelation that there were no signs of Team Aurabolt. No corpses, no body parts, no blood or bones or anything to indicate that they had ever been there. This forced the Admiral to come to the inevitable conclusion that they had somehow escaped certain death and slipped through his flippers.

"Search the entire seafloor from top to bottom until you find them! I don't want any of you to come back until you've located our quarry! I'm not going to be the one to tell Oblivion's Shadow that I had that Rescue Team right where I wanted them only for them to escape at the last moment!" the Admiral commanded his children and other henchmon. "But just in case we don't find them…we might as well get a consolation prize. Investigate Zero Isle. They must have lowered the barrier here for a reason…if there's a Star Badge here, I want it found as soon as possible! Get to it!"

As his minions rushed out to do just that, the Admiral growled and clenched his flippers, the Blue Orb pulsing and causing Kyogre, who had returned to base for healing, to moan in pain as his anger resonated through her. _Damn you, Ash…luck really seems to favor you, doesn't it? Well, that won't last for much longer, if I have anything to say about it. I _will_ find you, and when I do…I will make you pay for what you did to _her_, even if it's the last thing I ever do!_

…

Several hours later…

When Ash awoke, he felt bedraggled, beaten, bruised, exhausted, and very thirsty. He tried to sit up, groaned as his skull felt like it was being split in two, and lay back down. "Here, Daddy," Tiny said, handing Ash a bottle of water.

"Thanks, Tiny," Ash croaked, taking the bottle and chugging down its contents. Once he felt a little better, he wiped his mouth and glanced around, noticing that the two of them were alone on a beach bordered by palm trees and other tropical growth, the skies overhead cloudy and overcast but no longer storming. "What happened? Where are we?"

"Zero Isle," Tiny said, handing Ash some berries, an apple, and an Elixir from the Lucario's knapsack. Ash eagerly scarfed them down, contemplating the Larvitar's words as he felt his strength return to him.

"Zero Isle?" Ash repeated. "How did we get here? The last thing I remember is being flung from the cockpit of the _Peeko_ by Briney, and then…" He frowned, unable to recall any more than that.

"The ship exploded," Tiny said. "Briney created a Protect around us so the blast flung us out of the whirlpool rather than killing us. However, the shield broke in midair and we got scattered all over the place. You and I splashed down off the shore, and you passed out on impact, so I had to drag you to safety."

Ash blinked. "I didn't know you could swim."

"Neither did I," Tiny said. "Considering I have a quardruple weakness to water and all."

Ash shrugged, deciding it wasn't worth thinking about. "Well, thanks for saving me…I'm impressed you managed to carry me all the way to the beach, especially considering your type disadvantage!"

"So am I," Tiny said. "But I saw you weren't moving, and well…I just did it without thinking. I don't know if it was instinct or Aura or something else, but…I gained the strength I needed to save you." He smirked ruefully. "And passed out once we got to dry land. I woke up before you did, though."

"I feel much safer knowing you were watching over me," Ash said, handing Tiny half of his apple. The Larvitar hungrily stuffed it in his mouth. "Any sign from the others?"

"No," Tiny said.

Ash frowned. "What, not even from our badges?"

Tiny blushed. "I…don't remember how to activate their communicator and tracking function. I wasn't listening when you explained it, because I didn't care enough about the rest of the team back then to think I'd ever need to use it."

Ash sighed. "Well, at least you don't feel like that anymore…" He tapped his badge a few times, causing the diamond stud to start flashing. "This is Ash. Is anybody out there?" He waited for a moment. There was no response. He tapped his badge again. "I repeat, this is Ash. Is anybody out there?" Again, no response. Ash started getting worried. Could it be that they were the only ones who had survived? He tapped the badge a third time. "Once more, this is Ash. Is anybody-"

"_Yes, yes, we're here!"_ Leo's voice snapped from the badge. _"We heard you the first time! Geez! Would it kill you to be patient once in a while?"_

"_This is Ash we're talking about, patience isn't his strong suit…except when it comes to training, anyway," _Pikachu's voice said.

"_Ash, it's good to hear from you! We were so worried…is everything all right? Is Tiny with you?" _Lily asked in concern.

Ash sighed in relief and Tiny smiled. The others were okay! "Yes, Tiny's with me. The two of us washed up on a beach somewhere on Zero isle. Where are the rest of you?"

"_I'm with Dawn, somewhere in the jungle,"_ Pikachu reported. _"We crashed in some trees after the explosion, cushioning our impact. Actually, _Dawn_ cushioned my impact with her body. I yelled at her for doing something so reckless with her life once she'd recovered, but she just looked at me and said it was her duty, and that was that."_

"_I'm with Sasha, and the two of us are also on a beach," _Leo said.

"_We landed in the water too, but were able to swim to shore,"_ the Absol said.

"_And I'm with Lily near some tall cliffs close to the water," _Briney said. _"We were going to smash into them, but I was able to use Magnet Rise to arrest my fall and keep from crashing. Lily just phased through and came back out afterwards."_

"_We were worried when we couldn't reach you on the badges," _Lily said. _"We _knew _you couldn't possibly be dead, but we thought you might have been captured or hurt somehow. You don't know how relieved we are to know that you're okay!"_

"Probably as relieved as we are to know you guys are fine," Tiny said happily.

"Exactly what happened there?" Ash asked. "In the middle of the whirlpool? Why did the ship explode?"

"_That was my doing," _Briney confessed. _"When I saw we were about to be swallowed by Davy Jones's locker, I activated the _Peeko's_ self-destruct system and threw all of us outside, then shielded us with Protect so that the blast would knock us out of the whirlpool and away from Kyogre. I miscalculated the strength of the explosion, however, so my shield gave way in midair and we got scattered all over the island."_

"You destroyed the _Peeko?_" Tiny asked in disbelief.

"But Briney…I thought you loved that ship!" Ash protested.

"_Aye, that I do…or did. Which is why I wanted it to be my claw that scuttled her, not some Nihilator thug or crazy sea goddess!"_ He sighed. _"And anyway…she was just a boat, in the end. Nothing compared to the real Peeko, who…who I know is waiting for me, especially after what we did yesterday. I'll get a new boat. And I'll make Kyogre and whoever was controlling her regret forcing me to scupper my ship and send her to the bottom of the ocean!"_

"We'll have to find them, first," Ash said. "And the Star Badge. Then we can get off this island. Lily, can you portal to Treasure Town from here?"

"_Yes. I opened a test portal earlier," _Lily said. _"So once we've got what we came for, we can leave whenever we're ready."_

"Good," said Ash. "Then our first step is to regroup so we can search this island thoroughly. We could start looking in separate search parties like we are now, but there's strength in numbers, so it would be safer if we looked together."

"_Plus, if we're all together, there's less of a chance of us getting picked off one by one by cannibals or monsters,"_ Leo spoke up.

"_As odd as his comment is, he has a valid point,_" Sasha agreed grudgingly.

"_From where Dawn and I are, we can see a small mountain that looks to be the highest thing on the island,"_ Pikachu said. _"Can the rest of you spot it?"_

"_Aye," _said Briney.

"_I see it,"_ said Leo.

"So do we," Ash said when Tiny nudged his leg and pointed at a tall peak to the east, somewhere near the center of the island. "Shall we rendezvous there?"

"_Since it's probably tall enough for us to survey the whole island and hopefully spot where those pirates are hiding out, I think so,"_ Pikachu said.

"_We'll meet the rest of you there, then,"_ Lily said.

"_Don't let your guard down, though," _Briney warned_. "After all, there's undead pirates and Darkrai knows what else lurking on this godsforsaken island."_

"_Not to mention that I doubt Kyogre is the only thing the Nihilators will send against us,"_ Sasha agreed.

"_And we can't forget the polar Ursarings or smoke monster! We have to remember to keep an eye out for those!"_ Leo said.

There was a long pause. "Huh?" Tiny asked finally.

"_I'm not sure we want to know…"_ Briney said.

"_Sorry, too much _Misplaced_ again," _Leo apologized.

"_Ah," _said Sasha.

"_Right. Anyway…I'm sure we can take them, though it'll probably be easier as a team…" _Pikachu said, wisely deciding to pretend that Leo hadn't said anything.

"Then let's get together so we can do just that," Ash said. He took off his badge and pushed a hidden catch on the side, causing it to flip open and reveal an LED screen with eight flashing lights on it paired in scattered groups of two. "Keep your badges open and your communicators on so we can keep track of each other's movements. If anyone runs into trouble, call for help and we'll try and get there as fast as we can."

"_Got it,"_ Pikachu said.

"_No problem, we'll know trouble before it even spots us thanks to Sasha!"_ Leo said.

"_It's whatever's fool enough to mess with us that should really be worried,"_ Briney said gruffly. _"Damn idiots."_

"_I look forward to seeing the rest of you safe and sound soon!" _Lily said.

"So do we," Tiny said. Although he couldn't see them, he was sure the others were smiling at this comment. It was good to have friends, wasn't it?

"All right," Ash said, putting his knapsack back on after shaking some of the water out of it. "Come on Tiny, let's go." The Larvitar nodded and followed his father into the trees.

"Dawn, let's head out," Pikachu said to Dawn.

The Buneary nodded. _As you wish, Master._ They hopped out of the tree they had been resting in and set off for the mountain.

"Welp, we'd better get going," Briney said, starting to levitate up the side of the cliff.

"What do we do if we run into undead pirates?" Lily asked. "We don't have any of the 'root beer' Leo swears can destroy them."

"Don't need it. We'll kill them anyway," Briney said dismissively.

"But they're immortal," Lily pointed out.

"Heh, not when I'm through with them," the Metang said.

"It's a shame we don't have a map, it would make getting to that mountain and finding the pirates a lot easier," Leo complained as he and Sasha started trekking through the jungle towards the rendezvous point.

"You don't have something in your shell that can make one?" Sasha asked.

Leo brightened. "Now that you mentioned it…" He pulled out his laptop and GPS. "Hold on a minute…if I can hook up to an orbiting satellite and get a snapshot of the island, I can download it onto my GPS and use it to navigate around the place and find the others more easily." He booted up the computer and device, tinkered with them for a few minutes, and frowned. "Huh…that's funny…it says I don't have any reception out here. But that's impossible, I custom-designed my laptop so that I could find a wireless connection anywhere in the world, no matter how far from civilization I am." He fiddled with it a bit more. His brow furrowed and sweat started rolling down his face. "Well…that's inconvenient. I can't seem to get any sort of connection at all. I'm totally cut off from the Internet. All my email and games and online friends and programs and blogs and fanfiction and videos and all the other stuff I spend so much of my free time on are completely and utterly out of my reach."

Sasha eyed Leo tentatively for a moment, her danger-sense telling her something very bad was brewing within the Squirtle. But when, after several seconds, Leo showed no sign of exploding, she cautiously said, "Well, you seem to be taking this better than I-"

"!" Leo screamed several magnitudes louder than Tiny, even at his most irritated and unhappy, could ever have managed. His scream echoed across the island and could be heard all the way from the mainland, shattering glass and causing babies to start crying. Terrified sailors took it as an omen and immediately turned back to port, and sea monsters mistook it for a mating call and rose from the deep, looking for whoever had made such an alluring noise.

When he exhausted all the breath in his lungs, Leo collapsed, as did all the foliage within several dozen yards. A dumbstruck Sasha slowly tried to loosen up her muscles, calm down her ultra-high-strung nerves, and lick her fur, which was standing straight up, back into shape. After a while, she realized what she took to be a faint ringing in one ear was actually her badge making noise. _"Sasha! Leo! Come in! What the hell was that?"_ Ash's voice shouted, panic and worry underlying his tone.

"_Was it pirates? We'll be right over!" _Lily promised.

"You needn't bother," Sasha said, fighting to keep the trembling out of her voice. "It's nothing to worry about."

"_Nothing to worry about? Not even TINY'S ever screamed that loud before!" _Pikachu protested in disbelief.

"_Yeah, I'm almost jealous!" _Tiny said.

"It's nothing to worry about," Sasha said.

"_Then why did Leo scream like that?" _Lily asked worriedly.

"He found out he can't get an Internet connection here," Sasha said.

There was a long pause. _"What,"_ Pikachu said flatly.

"He found out he can't get an Internet connection here," Sasha repeated. "He took it rather badly."

"_That's an understatement,"_ Briney snarked.

"_Oh for the love of…"_ Pikachu sighed. _"I really shouldn't be surprised by this by now. I really shouldn't. So why do I keep getting taken off-guard by how utterly ridiculous he can…ugh, never mind."_

"_Well, there goes any advantage of surprise we might have gotten…if there's anyone else on this island, they'll certainly know we're here now," _Briney grumbled.

"_Is he all right?" _Lily asked in concern.

Leo groaned. "I think he is coming too," Sasha said.

She padded over as the Squirtle sat up and held his head in pain, blinking blearily. "Is that you, Mother? I washed my hands…" he said dazedly.

"Leo, are you all right?" Sasha asked.

Leo stared at her…and a chill went down Sasha's spine, for there was something unnervingly blank and unfocused behind the Squirtle's usually intelligent gaze. "Leo? Who's Leo? I'm Monscrub Fourplank, Mighty Pirate!"

…

Meanwhile, in Kanjohenn…

"Sure are a lot of them," an armored Torkoal commented.

"Yeah," a Magmar standing next to him agreed.

"Has to be at least three, four thousand of them," said a Numel.

"You can count?" asked a surprised Primeape.

"No," the Numel admitted. "I was just guessing."

"How much is a thousand, anyway?" asked a Slugma.

"I think it's more than a dozen and less than…less than…" a Monferno furrowed his brows in confusion. "Something that's greater than a thousand."

"A thousand is greater than a thousand?" asked the confused Slugma.

"No, it's less than something greater than a thousand," the Monferno said.

"Oh," said the Slugma, still confused.

The sun beat down through swirling clouds of soot and smog on the scorched plains outside of Mt. Blaze. The landscape surrounding the active volcano was one of sharp rocks jutting out of the broken earth and dead trees, of smoking fumaroles and bubbling rivers of lava. This unforgiving wasteland was currently occupied by hundreds (if not thousands, since the barbarians weren't very good at math) of monkeys and Fire-Type Pokemon, a sizeable chunk of the Monkey King Gal's Burning Horde. (Someone had come up with the name the other day, and they had decided to make it official since it sounded cool.) They were a fearsome mob of savage and unkempt-looking Pokemon in plate, mail, and leather armor, with spikes and torches and flame-shaped banners that they thought made them look really intimidating—which it did—but also made them look a great deal like your average generic army who served a typical evil overlord based in a volcano. (Nobody dared point this out, however, lest they get horribly tortured, maimed, castrated, thrown into a lava pit, and/or eaten. Barbarians weren't fond of being told that they were wrong or rather unoriginal.)

Standing opposite the Burning Horde, on the other side of the crackling Magical Barrier of Instant Death (also a nickname they had decided to make official) was another army, numbering in…numbers greater than a thousand. Probably. As mentioned before, the barbarians weren't good at math. This army stood in more disciplined ranks surrounding the volcano, and had forces both on the ground and in the air. The soldiers on the ground included Bagons, Trapinches, Shellgons, Charmeleons, Tyranitars, Vibrava, Gibles, Gabites, Tropiuses, and Dragonairs in chain and plated armor with a variety of weapons. Gastlies, Haunters, Gengars, Misdreavuses, Duskulls, Banettes, and Drifloons hovered in the air just above them. Higher up, lightly armored Aerodactyls, Altarias, Charizards, Dragonites, Flygons, Salamences, and Garchomps circled above the ground troops, some bearing riders, some not. Interspaced between the aerial dragons were a dozen or so sleek airships with elongated wings and a 'neck' ending in a tapered 'head' cockpit so that its build better resembled a dragon. The odd mon out of this airship brigade was one vessel that looked like a sailing vessel hanging from the bottom of a balloon, the _Espada._

This was the cream of the crop of the forces of the Draconian Empire, and they had been standing (or floating) outside the barrier surrounding Mt. Blaze for the last hour or so, waiting and watching. It was starting to unnerve the barbarians of the Burning Horde, but they reminded themselves that there was nothing to worry about, that they could outlast any siege and in any event there was no way the dragons could get through the barrier, right? It meant instant death to anyone who touched it that wasn't part of the Horde. It was in the name, for the Monkey King's sake!

"Ha, they sure do look stupid, standing outside like that," an Infernape commented airily.

"Maybe they expect us to invite them in or something?" a Camerupt joked.

"Ha, like that's going to happen!" an Aipom sneered.

"Let's see how long they can maintain those formations once the Monkey King's secret weapon is ready…then we'll send them running back for their dens, and nothing will be able to stop us from burning Kanjohenn to the ground!" a Flareon said gleefully.

"What is the secret weapon, anyway?" a Combusken asked.

The Flareon shrugged. "I dunno. That's why they call it a _secret_ weapon…but I'm sure that once it comes out, it's gonna be really awesome!"

"And once he conquers the continent, the Monkey King will become the Monkey God! Hail Gal!" a Primeape chattered.

"Hail Gal!" the other barbarians chorused, both out of loyalty and because they'd probably be gutted where they stood if they didn't. However, in their zeal, they seemed to be forgetting that their enemy was ruled by a god, too…

More than one, technically. "Your Majesties, all our troops are in position," the Dragonite general Fafnir reported to Latias and Rayquaza. Latias was hovering normally, while Rayquaza-since he was still stuck as a Bagon-was riding on top of Latios, who was decked out in shiny bejeweled ceremonial armor. Latios was very displeased with this arrangement, despite everyone telling him it was a great honor to serve as the Dragon God-King's 'steed,' but it seemed to be causing the she-dragons to actually notice him, so he swallowed his complaints for the time being. (Plus, whenever he tried to whine about it, Nuken and the other dragons got angry. They took his insulting their King's honor a little too seriously, though Rayquaza himself seemed more embarrassed than annoyed.)

"Very good," Rayquaza said with a nod, the Altaria plume on the regal helm they had given him bobbing in time with his head, his short cape fluttering in the breeze.

"And you don't have to call us 'Majesties,'" Latias said gently. "We're not married. Well, technically, we _are_, but…you know, not in these forms. Er. Never mind."

"I'm sure we could arrange to have a formal ceremony once this crisis is over," Nuken, who was floating beside them, said smoothly, causing Latias and Rayquaza to blush and Latios to seethe. "After all, Pokemon Square is planning to host a number of simultaneous weddings…it would be a good occasion for you to apply the vows you have taken as spirits to your physical guises."

"W-we'll talk about it later," Rayquaza stammered. Latios had to suppress a strong urge to 'accidentally' flip over and send the so-called King on his back tumbling. He doubted it would be fatal, what with that hard head of his. Then again, Latias would get upset with him, and while he was still feeling rather hurt and confused about his current relationship with her, he didn't want to make her unhappy.

_Thanks_, Latias telepathed gratefully, causing Latios to bristle. He kept forgetting how easily she could read his mind. Granted, she'd done it all the time back before she'd changed, too, but not like _this._ And he'd been able to see into her head, too, so they had equality. Not like the one-sided arrangement they had now. _I know you're not happy with me right now, and you're right to feel that way,_ Latias said, picking up on these thoughts as well. _Once this battle has been finished and things settle down a little, I promise to sit down and talk with you about this. It's been a long time coming. All right?_

Latios sighed. He was never any good at refusing his sister. _All right. But I can't guarantee I'll be happy with whatever excuse you give me for why you're acting so distant and above us all these days!_

_I never said you would be,_ Latias said sadly. _But I hope that you will at least understand._

_Understand what? How you and your boyfriend have some awesome destiny together and I have nothing?_ Latios asked angrily.

…_What makes you think that you're not part of that destiny too?_ She asked. Latios paused, not sure how to answer that.

"We are ready to attack as soon as the barrier falls," the Garchomp general Tiamat said.

"Which should be…when?" the Flygon general Smaug glanced at Latias.

"I've been gathering my power since we got here," Latias informed him. "I'll be ready to destroy that shield in a moment. Once it falls, however, I'll be close to catatonic for a while as I try and regain my strength."

"We have Joys stationed at a field infirmary a few miles away in addition to the ones back at the Sky Tower and in Pokemon Square," Nuken assured her. "As well as an escort of dragons ready and willing to transport you to safety so you can recover."

She smiled gratefully. "Thank you. I just hope you aren't removing too many wings that you'll need to take the mountain just to protect me."

"Your safety is one of our utmost concerns, Lady," the Salamence general Nidhogg said.

"And besides, considering how few wings those barbarians and their traitor Charizard scum have to field against us, your escort will not be missed," a Charizard general, Drakor, assured her.

"We recommend you withdraw as well, my liege, once the battle is joined. In your current state, you present a great target for our foes…and I'm not very confident in your mount's capabilities to protect you," Fafnir said, glaring at Latios.

"Hey!" Latios snapped.

"He'll do fine," Rayquaza argued, surprising Latios. "While I appreciate your concerns, I cannot abandon the battlefield, even if I am currently unable to fight alongside my soldiers. How can we expect them to fight for a leader who abandons them the instant the fighting starts? Even if I cannot assist them, I can at least keep up their morale by staying nearby, so that they know their King and God is watching over them."

The generals nodded approvingly. "A noble sentiment, Your Excellency…we apologize for expecting any less of you," Smaug said.

"The troops will certainly fight all the harder knowing that their lord and master is guiding them," Nidhogg agreed. Latios scowled, wondering how much of what Rayquaza had just said he actually meant and how much of it was just something Nuken had drilled into him to keep him from acting like a pussy.

_He's not like that!_ Latias thought angrily.

_Yeah, and you would know, wouldn't you?_ Latios thought back bitterly. He immediately regretted those words when he saw and felt how hurt they made her feel. That didn't mean he was going to take them back, however.

"Nuken, while I know _I_ have to stay, perhaps you should retreat instead," Rayquaza suggested to his right-hand mon, oblivious to the tension between Latias and Latios. "Most of the soldiers down there are Fire-types, which you are severely weak against."

"Nonsense, my liege. Wherever you go, so shall I," Nuken said dismissively. "It will take more than a little flame to put my wrathful spirit to rest."

"Well, yes, but if you _did_ die, then so would Koga, and that would be a great loss for us all," Rayquaza pointed out.

"And if Koga died on his own, I would go the same way as well," Nuken argued. "So there is no point hiding while others do the killing for me. If we are to die, then no distance will be able to stop it from happening."

Rayquaza sighed, giving in. "Well, if you insist…"

"I do," Nuken said. He glanced at Latias. "My lady? Is something wrong?"

Latias blinked. "Hmm? No. Nothing," she said, not looking at Latios. She cleared her throat. "I'm ready to take down the shield."

"Do you want us to pull back?" Tiamat asked.

"Will any of our mons be at risk if they're too close?" Smaug asked.

Latias smiled reassuringly. "Not in the slightest. None of you have anything to worry about." The generals nodded, looking relieved.

"Latias/Sis," Rayquaza and Latios called at the same time as Latias started to fly away.

She glanced back. "Yes?"

"Be careful, all right?" they said, again at the same time. They frowned at each other.

Latias smiled and tried not to laugh. "I could say the same to you. You'll see more fighting than I will. Just because you're not in the thick of it doesn't mean you might not take part in the battle anyway."

"We'll do our best," Rayquaza promised.

"I know you will," Latias said gently. She glanced at Latios. "And Latios…you make sure nothing happens to Rayquaza, okay?"

Latios grimaced but nodded. "Yeah, all right."

"Good. And Nuken..." Latias started.

"You need not even ask. I will make certain no harm comes to either of them," the Shedinja assured her.

Latias nodded. "I figured as much." She took a deep breath. "All right. Here I go." She flew towards the barrier. When they saw what she was doing, the dragons started to roar, one by one and raising in intensity, until the sky was full with the sound of their bellows, the soldiers cheering her on. She couldn't help smiling, flattered and gratified by how much everyone believed in her. Even though they knew she wasn't at full power, they had faith in her, and knew that she would do everything she could to help them. She fully intended to justify that faith to the best of her abilities.

"They don't even know her but they love her anyway, don't they?" Latios marveled.

"The fact that she's a major part of Draconian mythology aside…everyone knows who Latias is, and what she means to His Excellency," Nuken said, causing Rayquaza to flush. "They love their King…and so, too, do they love the one he cares for most."

"Nuken…" Rayquaza muttered, embarrassed.

"…That's Latias for you," Latios said, grudging pride showing on his face. "She makes people like her without even trying…it's hard to stay angry at her for very long…"

The barbarians of the Burning Horde were rather unnerved by the roaring of many dragons. "What are they getting so worked up about?" a Quilava wondered. "Don't they know they're not getting in here?"

"Maybe they think if they yell loudly enough we'll get scared and open the shield for them?" an Arcanine joked.

"Actually, I think they're roaring for that white and red Pokemon up there," a Vigoroth said, pointing at Latias as she flew towards the shield.

A Houndour frowned. "I've never seen a Pokemon like that before…what is it?"

"Hey, wasn't the warlord Redwing killed by a Pokemon matching that description?" a Magcargo realized.

"Yeah, so?" the Houndour asked.

"Well…should we be worried?" the Magcargo pressed.

A Slaking snorted. "Don't be ridiculous. Redwing was a pushover…and just one Pokemon! What can that Pokemon, whatever it is, think to do against something as strong as our Magical Barrier of Instant Death?"

They were about to get their answer. Latias closed her eyes and breathed deeply as she concentrated her power. Her body began to glow with a soft white light that slowly grew in intensity until it seemed to become brighter than the Sun itself…and yet it didn't hurt the eyes to look into it (well, it didn't hurt the _Draconians_ to look into it, the barbarians were another story), but made it easier to bear the longer one gazed at it. Latias spread her wings, and as she did so, the light flowed out to either side of her, expanding and solidifying into a pair of gigantic wings of white fire. The radiance around her body expanded as well, growing in size to match her wings and taking on the form of a gigantic white blazing wyrm of pure light, so large that its tail was able to encircle the entirety of the shield perimeter surrounding Mt. Blaze. The wyrm threw back its head and roared, and the other dragons roared with it—even Latios, much to his surprise—and their howls grew in volume until the earth itself started shaking, and the terrified barbarians wondered if the world was about to come to an end.

The white wyrm reared up in all its glory, rising higher and higher until its head loomed over the top of the shield. The Draconians watched in awe and the barbarians in horror as the wyrm roared again, its cry oddly bringing to mind sunbeams reflecting off a sparkling lake, and spread its wings, which grew longer and longer until their tips touched each other on the opposite side of the shield. The wyrm slowly but inexorably leaned forward, coiling its tail around the shield and folding its wings around it until all but the very top was wrapped in a mass of white fire. And soon that clear patch, too, was engulfed, as the wyrm smashed its head into it with the force of a meteor, like a wild Dodrio prying apart the shell of a Forretress with its beaks to get at the rich succulents within.

The white flames blazed outwards, and suddenly erupted in a tremendous pillar of light that towered up into the heavens, piercing the clouds and rising thousands of miles into the air, visible all the way from space and pretty much everywhere else in Kanjohenn. The earth shook and the wind howled as the light grew brighter and brighter…

And then it vanished, as swiftly as if a switch had been flicked off. In is place was Mt. Blaze and the lands and army surrounding it…minus the Magical Barrier of Instant Death. Latias, looking exhausted and worn-out beyond belief, turned to face the enraptured Draconians and spoke into all their minds. _The rest…is up to you._

And then she passed out in midair. She would have plummeted to the hard, blazing ground far below had not a group of a half-dozen dragons swooped down to catch her, carrying her away from the mountain without a word, another dozen or so dragons and a couple of airships flying along as escort without even being told to.

The region was silent for several moments, as the amazed Pokemon tried to process what had just happened. "Wow," Latios said finally.

"Indeed," a dumbstruck Rayquaza managed.

"It is a good thing we have a Draconian news crew recording this to broadcast worldwide as a demonstration of our might and righteousness," Nuken said, his mind, as always, on how any given turn of events could be used to benefit the Empire. "I imagine we will gain quite a few converts from this…"

"Did that just happen?" the Magcargo whispered.

"It appears to," the Houndour said slowly.

"What was that about that Pokemon not being anything to worry about?" an Aipom asked the naysaying Slaking from before. Normally, a comment like that would have gotten the monkey's head crushed, but the Slaking was too slack-jawed and stunned to react.

A Chimchar looked at the ground. "I think I soiled myself."

"I think we _all_ did," a Blaziken said weakly.

"We're fucked, aren't we?" a Mankey asked.

"Oh yeah," an Ambipom said in agreement.

"My liege, your orders?" Tiamat asked.

Rayquaza blinked dumbly. "Huh?"

"My liege, your orders?" Fafnir repeated. "The shield is down and the barbarians are defenseless. Shall we attack?"

"Attack?" Rayquaza repeated blankly. It took several seconds for his subordinates' words to make sense to him again. "Oh…oh! Yes, of course! Attack! ATTACK!"

The dragons around them stirred as they heard the order. "You heard His Majesty! Charge! Get them!" Nuken bellowed.

"Roast those stinking monkeys!" Drakor shouted.

"And the hot-headed blowhards they're allied with!" Smaug added.

"FOR THE EMPIRE!" Nidhogg howled. The other dragons roared.

"And Pokemon Square," Latios pointed out, reminding him who else was fighting.

"AND POKEMON SQUARE!" Nidhogg amended. The other dragons roared. Taking that as a rallying cry, all the soldiers, both on air and on land, charged towards the enemy. The barbarians screeched in surprise and frantically tried to get into formation as the enemy forces rushed towards them, desperately trying to meet the Draconian assault and keep from being slaughtered.

The two armies clashed on the burned fields and smoky skies surrounding Mt. Blaze. The battle to decide the fate of Kanjohenn had begun.

…

Inside Mt. Blaze…

"Your Majesty! Your Majesty!" a Growlithe pup fresh out of training and thus unaware of the proper protocols barked as he dashed into the throne room, weaving past the startled guards. "The Magical Barrier of Instant Death has fallen! An army from the Draconian Empire is attacking the mountain! We have to-" He stopped in his tracks, startled by the King's appearance. He had heard Gal had changed ever since his ascension to godhood, but he hadn't known he'd changed _this_ much!

Gal glared at the intruder. "Come here, pup."

The Growlithe swallowed nervously. "Y-Your Majesty?"

"Come!" Gal shouted, baring his fangs as his red eyes flashed. Whimpering, the Growlithe trotted over. Gal reached down, picked the dog off the ground, tore out his throat with his teeth, and tossed him into the corner, where Charlie the Charizard, driven mad by endless torture and starvation, hungrily began to tear the corpse apart. Gal chuckled, while making a note to have his guards executed for allowing the brat into his presence in the first place. "So, in the end, you prove your 'civilized' values to be as worthless as the ground you sit and defecate on…how it is no more than a mask your kind wears to conceal the fact that in the end, you and we barbarians are no different. How in the end, survival is the only thing that matters. Not honor or justice or any of those other make-believe concepts your kind constantly espouses…but survival, and being the strongest. That is all that matters in this world." Charlie did not respond, because he was too busy eating, and had in any event forgotten how to speak.

Gal chuckled. "So, they think they can invade my demesnes? The fools…they're coming for you, you know. Your friends. Is there enough left in you to realize that? No matter. They will fail just as you did. I shall crush them and burn them to nothing…and then nothing will stop me from doing the same to the rest of Kanjohenn, including your precious Pokemon Square." Gal grinned. "And then I think I will take that mate of yours-Charla, was it?—and chain her up in here just like you. Not next to you, though. You do not deserve a womon such as her! No, I will keep her on the opposite wall, so that you can do nothing but watch as I tear off her wings and rape her and break her as thoroughly as I have broken you. How does that make you feel?" Charlie paused. Something almost like sanity flashed through his eyes. Then he howled, threw aside his meal, and lunged at Gal…only to be brought up short, as usual, by his chains. He snarled and slavered and clawed at the air, but could get no closer to the vile Infernape. Gal sneered. "Pitiful. Oh well." He looked at the Red Orb in his transfigured claw and grinned. "It won't be much longer now." The Orb pulsed, and deep in the bowels of Mt. Blaze, Groudon stirred…and the Devil Golem eggs throbbed, knowing their hour of awakening was close at hand.

At the same time, elsewhere in the fortress…

T-Bone sighed and stared at the mask in his claws as he heard soldiers stampeding and shouting down the hall outside his room, desperately trying to get into shape to repel the Draconian invasion. "So…they've come at last, like I knew they would." He sighed, resigned to his fate. "I guess I had better meet them, then…it's what they're expecting." He donned his mask, again becoming Vicious, the Iron Masked Marauder. "After all…I wouldn't want to let them down. I've already done enough of that for one lifetime." He left the room, preparing to meet his destiny.

T-Bone was not the only in the fortress preparing for the inevitable. "All right, keep moving, keep moving!" an Arcanine captain barked, gesturing down the tunnel with his head as soldiers streamed past him. "We need to be near the exits to keep those Draconian scum from getting in and to reinforce our troops outside! Keep it going!" He frowned, suddenly realizing that a member of his platoon who should have been there was conspicuously absent. "Hold up…where's Firebottom?"

The incredibly low-ranking Monferno in question was at that very moment running as fast as he could in the opposite direction from the fighting. _They've come,_ he thought frantically. _They've come. Just as they promised they would. I'm going to DIE!_

_Unless…_ Unless his brother's plan, whatever it was, worked. Unless Goku was willing to allow Ignik in on it. _He's my brother, of course he'll let me in on it! I mean, he practically offered me a spot before…right? He never said that offer was going to expire!_ He frowned. _In retrospect, maybe I should've been nicer to that slave of his…he seems really attached to her. Well, maybe he'll let bygones be bygones, because that's just the kind of guy he is…_

_I hope…_

And speaking of the younger Firebottom…

"Are you sure about this?" Ete asked Goku as she helped him get his armor on.

"This is the opportunity we've been waiting for, Ete. There's no better chance than this for us to enact our plan and make a clean break from the horde," Goku said, flexing his fingers to make sure his gauntlet fit properly.

"But will Pokemon Square accept your defection? And will your mons agree to follow you?" Ete asked as she tied the straps holding his chest and back armor in place.

"They will be suspicious of us, and rightly so," Ignik said as he tied on his leg armor. "They will have little reason to trust us. We will endeavor to win that trust. And as for my mons…" He smirked. "After everything we've been through together, they would follow me to the Abyss and back. They are more loyal to me than to Gal. They already know what I will ask of them. They are more than willing to go along with it."

"And Ignik?" Ete asked.

"Hopefully, he will make the right choice before its too late…" Goku said. He grimaced. "And if he comes with us, I hope the fool doesn't say something to get himself killed…there are probably a _lot_ of Pokemon that want to see him dead."

"You're probably one of the few people in Kanjohenn who doesn't," Ete commented.

Goku smirked as he put on his helmet. "Is that so surprising? After all…despite everything, he is my brother."

Ete shrugged. "There are many who would kill their brothers."

"I'm not one of them," Goku said. He turned, and Ete had to fight down a blush at how handsome and valiant he looked in his armor. "Now…let's go. You've said it's my destiny to fulfill Wukong's ambition. Let's take the first step towards doing that."

…

Elsewhere…

The cloaked mage cursed and stumbled backwards, knocking over some shelves and spilling various books and jars of potions and other mystical paraphernalia to the ground. "Gah…damn that divine bitch!" he snarled, recovering from the magical backlash of having his barrier spell shattered. "She managed to destroy the shield around Mt. Blaze? Clearly I underestimated her…even in her weakened state, she's still far more powerful than I anticipated…" He panted as he caught his breath and managed to stagger back to his feet. "I must reinforce the barrier around the Amber Palace to keep something like this from happening again…as well as alert Oblivion's Shadow and my master. They will not be pleased by this…" He narrowed his eyes. "And then…I think it's time I dealt with the so-called Guardian of Light…_personally…_"

…

Elsewhere still…

The light on the intercom on Giovanni's desk flashed. Mildly annoyed—yet also relieved from the distraction from his paperwork—Giovanni pressed a button. "Yes?"

"Master Giovanni, Agent 009 wishes to speak to you on line 3," his secretary said.

"Ah, good, I was expecting her," Giovanni said, pushing another button. A monitor lowered from the ceiling and switched on to reveal the black Roserade's lovely features. "Yes, what is it, Domino?"

"Master Giovanni, the joint Draconian Empire/Pokemon Square assault on Mt. Blaze has begun," Domino reported.

"It's about time," Giovanni muttered, smiling sinisterly. "I was starting to think they'd never get around to it."

"Shall I send an extraction team to retrieve Vicious?" Domino asked.

Giovanni nodded. "Yes, we still require his services…but I don't want you going out there, Domino, you aren't suited for that climate and I would hate to lose an asset as valuable as yourself."

Domino nodded, hiding any sign that she was flattered, which she was. "Who shall lead the team then, sir?"

"Send the Go-Rock Quads, they've been itching for some action, and there's sure to be some rough times going on at the volcano…hmm, but they might not be able to handle it alone. Has Team Quantum returned from wherever or whenever they go to when they aren't here?" Giovanni asked.

"No sir, but according to their last communiqué, they will be back in…let's see…seven minutes and fifty-two seconds," Domino said, looking at something off-screen.

"Well, at least they're punctual," Giovanni said. "When they get in, assign them their mission…assuming they don't already know it. Time travelers are annoying that way."

Domino nodded. "Yes sir. Oh…and our interrogators believe that we have gained everything of value from J. What should we do with her?"

Giovanni grinned evilly. "Let's hold onto her a little longer…I'm sure Vicious would _love_ to have a little 'talk' with her about what she did to his family…"

…

Meanwhile, in Pueltown…

It was nighttime in Pueltown, and as always, the arts capitol of Almiore was bustling long after the sun went down. Big neon signs and video billboards invited thespians and pedestrians alike into nightclubs, dance clubs and festivals, art galleries, sculpture gardens, special museum exhibits and receptions, movies, and of course, lots and lots of stage shows, whether it be plays, operas, or high-quality musicals. There was always something going down in Pueltown, and tonight was no different.

That evening, the hottest venue in town was the Selene Theater, where Hayzee, that year's winner of the coveted Shard of Creativity award, would finally be presenting her rendition of the classic _Maria and Draco_ live for the first time. Rumor had it that some unfamiliar faces would be performing at the show's grand debut, and more than a few critics and talent scouts were curious to see just what these out-of-towners could bring to the stage. Hundreds of Pokemon, many of the city's finest and most famous, were milling outside the theater in line for tickets, wearing their best for the big show…and so that it would be easy for people to recognize them, and make it clear that they had been there for the debut. Being seen at a major event was sometimes almost as important as creating the new masterpiece that initiated such an event, since it kept one's face in the spotlight and at the forefront of the minds of high society. Culture was all-important in Pueltown, and the best way to show you were a cultured Pokemon if you weren't an artist was to attend all the most anticipated and talked-about happenings. Many of the Pokemon in line had bought their tickets weeks in advance…

And so they were understandably annoyed by the holdup caused by the rather…_unusual_ couple at the front of the line. "Sir, I've already told you, we're sold out. If you don't have a reservation, you'll have to purchase tickets for a later performance…assuming it there _is_ a later performance, depending on how well it goes tonight. I'm pretty confident it'll be a success, though, especially now that the lead actor's finally worked out his singing problems," the gossipy Meowth monning the ticket booth informed the strange duo desperately trying to get into the theater. One of them was a very short Cherubi wearing a top hat and monocle along with a mini-tuxedo suited for his spherical berry form, with a matching set for his second head. The other was an absolutely gargantuan Seviper with two heads rather than a barbed tail. Both heads were covered in rather gaudy makeup complete with fake eyelashes and lipstick—even though neither head had lips!—pillbox hats with big Pidegot feathers, feather boas, pearl necklaces and plenty of other gaudy jewelry, and faux fur coats tied around their necks by the sleeves. One of the heads held opera glasses in its tongue. "And I hear the Pokemon they've gotten for the part of Maria is simply _magnificent…"_

"Back off, bussster, he'sss taken!" one of the giant snake heads hissed.

The Meowth blinked. "Really? By who?"

"By-" the snake head started, only for the Cherubi to cough loudly and interrupt her.

"Please, sir, we _have_ to get inside! It's a matter of life and death!" he begged. "We're friends—well, acquaintances—of the new actors, and we have reason to believe their getting the parts in the first place is all part of an elaborate trap concocted by a trio of demonically-powered revenge-seeking Pokemon—including my father—who wish to destroy them in retribution for ruining their lives!"

The ticket vendor stared at them blankly for a moment. "Wow…that sounds like a great idea for a play! I know this guy who can write really well. You should totally pitch it to him if you can't write the script yourself! I bet you could make a big name for yourself here in Pueltown with an imagination like that."

Jerry, the Cherubi, sweatdropped. "You don't believe me?"

"Well, it isss kind of outlandisssh, onccce put like that," Hiss admitted.

"That, and I've also heard wilder and more believable excuses," the Meowth said. "Even if everything you just told me was true, I still can't give you a ticket without a reservation. So if you don't have one, would you please get out of line so the people behind you can collect their tickets and get inside?"

The people behind Jerry and Hissssa started muttering in annoyance at this. "Yeah, really!" someone grumbled.

"Come on, move over already!" someone shouted.

"At this rate, we're going to miss the show!" somebody else whined.

Jerry and Hissssa exchanged worried looks. "Well, um…what if we _did_ have a ressservation?" Ssa asked desperately.

The Meowth perked up. "Ah, then that's another story! What name did you purchase your tickets under?" he asked, consulting a list.

Jerry and Hissssa drew blanks. "Um…Mr. and Mrs…" the Cherubi started vaguely.

"Fluffernutter…" Hiss suggested randomly.

"Kabumple…" Ssa hissed.

"Mcnultier?" Jerry finished rather doubtfully.

The Meowth frowned. "Nice try, but Mr. and Mrs. already collected their tickets and went inside. I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to leave before I call security. Next, please?"

"No, wait!" Jerry protested. "We bought them under…under…"

"Under Mr. and Mrs. Lotsandlotsofjewels?" Ssa said.

The Meowth frowned and checked his list. "I don't see that name anywhere here-" Hiss leaned forward and extended her tongue under his window. "Ah," the cat said when he noticed the large pile of glittering gemstones the snake had deposited in front of him.

Hiss withdrew her tongue and winked. "Sso," Ssa hissed. "If you would be ssso kind asss to let usss have our ticketsss, pleassse?"

"Certainly…" the Meowth said. "NOT!" He put one of the gems in his mouth and bit down hard, shattering the jewel. As Hissssa and Jerry recoiled in alarm, the cat gave them an angry look. "Please, my mother works with props, did you think I wouldn't know costume jewelry when I see it? Security!"

"No, wait!" the alarmed Hiss protested as a pair of burly tuxedoed Onix appeared from out of nowhere and started nudging the duo out of line, causing the fed-up crowd behind them to cheer. "I know I have sssome real goodsss in here sssomewhere…"

"Please, you can't do this! If we don't get in there, somebody could die! Possibly lots of somebodies!" Jerry pleaded. But the Meowth wasn't listening, and he beckoned for the well-dressed Bronzor standing behind Jerry and Hissssa to float forward, eagerly pushing his way past the distraught Cherubi and giant two-headed Seviper…

Only to find his way blocked by a mysterious cloaked figure. "Pardon me, but I believe I was next?" the figure said.

The Bronzor started and stumbled backwards. The rest of the Pokemon in line gasped. The Meowth stiffened. "Oh! M-mister Spirit, sir! How can I help you tonight?"

"I believe I have a ticket reserved for tonight's show?" the figure said, gliding in front of the Meowth's window.

"Of course sir, just one moment…" the Meowth said, printing out a ticket.

"Oh, and two for the Pokemon you just pushed out of line, please," the Spirit said. He paused and glanced at Hissssa. "Better make it three, actually."

The Meowth blinked. "What? B-but sir, they're-"

"With me. They're my guests. Is that a problem?" the Spirit asked.

The Meowth gulped as the astounded crowd muttered to each other in astonishment. Nothing like this had ever happened before. The Spirit _always_ sat alone… "N-no sir, no problem at all! I just…I just wasn't expecting it, sir." He quickly printed out three more tickets and handed them to the figure. "Here you go, sir! You'll be sitting in your usual booth, I expect?" He frowned at Hissssa. "You won't find it a little…cramped?"

Hissssa frowned. "Hey! What'sss that sssupposssed to mean?" Hiss asked angrily.

"Yeah, Jerry'sss sssensssitive about hisss weight!" Ssa agreed.

Jerry nodded. "Yeah, I…wait, what?"

"I'll manage," the Spirit assured the Mewoth. He beckoned to the duo. "Come along."

"Um, all right," Jerry said, exchanging a quick pair of glances with Hissssa. They followed the Spirit into the theater, though Hissssa wound up breaking the doors by accident. And kept knocking people over, bumping her ahead against the ceiling, and knocking over display cases, though she apologized vehemently for it. Jerry and the Spirit ignored her. "Um, anyway…thanks for helping us out."

"Yeah, but why'd you ssstick your neck out like that for usss?" Ssa asked, whipping her head around…and accidentally smashing a case containing an original Zimba mask from _The_ _Luxray King._ "Whoopsss! Sssorry!"

"Like yourselves, I am…acquainted with the new actors in tonight's show," the Spirit said enigmatically. "You said you believe that they are in danger?"

"Yes, sir. Quite a lot of it," Jerry said.

The Spirit looked at him, and the Cherubi shuddered as whatever eyes were hidden behind that white opera mask coolly appraised him. "Tell me more…"

Meanwhile, backstage…

Gary, wearing a gray suit of armor with ornate dragons embossed on it and a dark purple cape, drew his head back from the gap between the curtains, having taken a quick peek to see what was going on outside. "Wow. The place is filling up like crazy! I don't think there's going to be a single empty seat in the house!"

"Well, _Maria and Draco is_ one of the greatest musical performances of all time," Maren said as she adjusted her own costume, a princely set of red and green robes with a jeweled coronet. "It's not that surprising, really. Everyone wants to see what Hayzee's done with it…and see whether or not her 'little changes' make it something worth remembering and seeing again…or something that should get us run out of town and burned in effigy forevermore."

"I'm betting on it being the latter," Mary said dismally. She was wearing her grass costume…which was basically a large green vaguely curving cone. It made her more like a green spike or tentacle than a blade of grass.

"Now Mary, what did we tell you about that kind of negative thinking?" Gary scolded.

Mary sighed. "Not to do it?"

"Precisely. We're going to go out there, we're going to be a hit, and we ARE going to get that Compass piece without having to resort to stealing or ruining anyone else's lives!" Gary said firmly.

"Oh…I'm ssso nervousss…do you think they'll like me?" Evan asked anxiously. He was wearing an absolutely beautiful white dress with lots of frills and pearls and brocade and all the other fancy sorts of things you saw on pimped-out dresses that looked great for movies and plays and special occasions but were rather impractical for everyday wear. Even though he had to stand up rather straight to keep the dress from sliding off of him or dragging its skirts on the ground, even though the sleeves had to be tied to the sides so that they didn't flop about, even though it was a _guy_ wearing it and not a girl, Evan looked simply stunning…and Mary felt like she was going to choke with envy, because it was exactly the sort of thing she had always wanted to wear, that her mother and 'aunts' had always looked gorgeous in (then again, they were all so beautiful they could make even being covered in mud look sexy) while she had always looked chunky and awkward and ugly whenever she tried them on.

"While they may be disturbed at first that you're basically a cross-dressing snake, you'll win them over in no time with that voice of yours!" Gary assured him. "Mine too, thanks to that intensive all-nighter lesson the Spirit gave me."

"It sure was nice of him to do that," Maren commented.

"Yeah…" Maren said jealously, wondering why the Spirit hadn't offered her any lessons to improve her voice or her looks so she didn't have to play a blade of grass.

"We're recording thisss for my parentsss and unclesss and auntsss, right?" Evan asked nervously. "Thisss isss the culmination of a lifelong dream for me…I don't want them to misss thisss! You too, right Mary?"

"I wouldn't mind if they missed seeing me prance around as grass," Mary said bitterly.

"Don't be silly, Mary…you won't be prancing, you'll be standing in one place and doing absolutely nothing," Gary said. "That's all grass is good for, after all." Mary bit her lip to try and keep from crying. Gary didn't notice. Did he _have_ to say things like that all the time, even if he apparently had no clue it was even hurtful in the first place?

"How are my star actors feeling?" Hayzee asked as she came over, holding a script in one hand and the Shard of Creativity in another.

"Pretty good. You?" Evan asked.

"Oh, fine. Just fine. Not the least bit nervous about this being my big break and something that could make my career or ruin my reputation completely and force me to leave Pueltown in shame and never work in theater again, unable to even work in puppet shows without being booed and insulted and jeered at!" The Sunflora screeched, hyperventilating. Gary punched her in the face. "Ow! What was that for?"

"To calm you down. Did it work?" the Gengar asked.

"No, you just hurt my face!" she said angrily.

Gary shrugged. "Oh well, I tried."

"Hayzee, relax," Maren said soothingly. "We know how important this is. We know how much is riding on tonight being a success as much as you do. I may not be a theater critic, but I'm sure that everyone out there will find your interpretation of _Maria and Draco_ to be just as imaginative and inspired as we do, albeit a little strange."

Gary nodded. "Yeah, the Spirit himself approved this play. Do you really think he'd have helped you put it on—or improved my voice!—if he thought it was going to be a flop?"

Hayzee considered this for a moment. "No, I suppose not," she admitted. She took some deep breaths to calm down. "You're right. You're right. This'll work. Everything'll turn out okay. No need to worry, right?"

"Definitely not," Mary said.

"Easssy for you to sssay, you've got the easssiessst part in the whole ssshow!" Evan said.

Mary sighed. "Thanks for reminding me…"

"Evan, you've got the most riding on your…er…head," Hayzee said. "Are you ready?"

Evan nodded happily. "I've waited all my life for thisss moment!" He sighed. "I only wisssh my beloved Hisssssssa could be here to sssee thisss…ssshe told me ssshe'd love to hear me sssing on ssstage sssomeday…"

Maren nodded, wondering if Janine was somewhere in the audience. "Yeah, I know what you mean…I wish my special someone was here, too."

"What makes you think she's not?" Gary asked.

Maren laughed nervously. "Because she's back in the Mirage Kingdom, silly…wait. How did you know she's a she?" Her eyes widened in horror as the Gengar grinned. No…there was no way Gary could have overheard their conversation the other day. Janine was a ninja, surely she would have sensed his presence…right?

"Ooh, you're a lesssbian?" Evan asked. "I didn't know that. My auntsss and Mary'sss mom usssed to be lesssbiansss, too…until they met Uncle Gallant. Now they're bisssexxxual." He frowned. "Actually, mossst people become bisssexxxual after meeting Uncle Gallant, come to think of it…"

"I knew about that," Mary said. "Maren told me about her girlfriend back in Chicole Village, when Gary went off to 'rescue' you from your girlfriend."

"Oh," Evan said. He sighed. "I wisssh he had taken longer…"

"I don't really care about any of your sexual orientations or relationship status, right now we have a show to put on!" Hayzee said. "The curtain will be rising any minute now. Everyone, get to your places! And remember…break a leg!"

Evan looked down at himself. "But I don't have any legsss…and why would I want to break one if I did? That sssoundsss painful."

"It's a figure of speech," Mary said, jealously hoping Evan broke _something_.

"Oh, okay," Evan said, still looking confused.

As everyone scrambled to get into place before the curtain rose, Maren grabbed Gary by the arm. "Gary…" she whispered. "What did you see? What did you know?"

He looked at her for a long moment. "I know that you're not who you say you are…and that you and I are going to need to have a nice, long talk in the near future." He pulled his arm out of her grasp and walked off.

Maren swallowed and tried to stop herself from trembling. _Has my cover been blown?_ She wondered. _How much trouble am I in? And…what's _Janine_ going to do about this?_

As Maren fretted and everyone scurried around to get ready for the show and the Spirit and his two guests took their seats in the cloaked figure's private booth, none of them was aware of the trio of evildoers watching and plotting from above. "The time is near, brothers…" Gooey hissed to his companions, his flaming tentacles writhing around him and dripping embers on the floor.

Torque cackled madly, drool splattering his dashboard as he revved the motor of his hot rod. Sakurai grinned, fiery petals swirling around him. "Just a little longer now…"

Gooey narrowed his eyes. "And then…Team Nightshade shall fall, their sins exposed for all the world to see…and we, Team Perdition, shall finally have our revenge!"

…

Meanwhile, under the sea…

"Are we there yet?" Mickey, Jessie, and James whined.

"No," said Wabbaku.

"Are we there yet?" Mickey, Jessie, and James whined.

"No," said Wabbaku.

"Are we there yet?" Mickey, Jessie, and James whined.

"No," said Wabbaku.

"Are we there yet?" Mickey, Jessie, and James whined.

"Yes," said Wabbaku.

"Are we…wait, really?" Mickey, Jessie, and James cried.

"See for yourself," Wabbaku said, pointing out the viewport. Jessie, James, Buzz, and Chimecho rushed to the sides of the submarine to look outside. (Mickey, sadly, could not since he was still pedaling, and Gardenia was still so depressed from learning Wabbaku was already married that she was lying under a bench. She hadn't moved in a couple of days, despite the others prodding her. The Wobbuffet was starting to get worried about her.) It was very dark outside of their giant Magikarp, which was unsurprising considering they were miles beneath the surface of the ocean, far beyond the reach of daylight. The only things that pierced the gloom of the depths were the beams shining from the 'eyes' on the front of their submarine…that, and the dull glow from the infrequent thermal vents and the occasional bioluminescence of the…_things_ that lurked in the dark depths, aquatic Pokemon unlike any the Rockets had ever seen…and, they prayed, never would again.

However, there was light up ahead. Not very strong light, but compared to the rest of the darkness at the bottom of the ocean, to the Rockets it was almost as bright as day. A jagged chasm had been torn open in the seafloor, and lava sluggishly flowed at its bottom, sickly green flames burning across its surface. "Wait a minute…you can't have fire at the bottom of the ocean!" protested an astonished Buzz.

"_Normally_, you couldn't," Wabbaku said. "But this place is far from normal…the forces of nature do not follow their usual guidelines." He shuddered. "The spirits do not like this place…once we get what we came for, we must leave as swiftly as possible."

"I'll have no problem with that…" Jessie muttered, her face screwing up in disgust as she saw their destination, lit from below by the river of lava.

Before them lay their goal, the sunken city of Hyperbeamorea. Megalithic towers and buildings rose at odd angles, their architecture following no artistic style or geometric configuration that made any sense to the Pokemon in the submarine. And this isn't the kind of bizarre architecture you'd expect from an alien city or the lair of some eldritch horror…no, the city looked off because it was clear that whoever had built it had had no idea what they were doing, even accounting for the fact that it had sunk beneath the surface thousands of years ago and suffered quite a few seismic upheavals and degradation since then. Pyramids were upside down, somehow balancing on their tips. Amphitheaters were turned inside out, with stepped layers of seats rising up to a single point that it would be impossible to see without binoculars or pulling your neck back really far. Skyscrapers and pillars intersected each other with pillars jutting out randomly and even _more_ buildings growing from their sides. Rising staircases connected in circles without any way to get on or off them, or going _down_ at any point, just impossibly going up and up while still being a closed loop. Bridges went to nowhere. Arches were set on their side. Houses were solid, horribly ugly blocks with no windows or doors to get inside. Perspective was constantly screwed with, so that what looked like a deep rift was actually a very tall and narrow spire, and a gigantic grotesque sculpture that looked as if it were miles away was actually much closer, and really small. And that's not even beginning to get into how vulgar and mind-bending the carvings on the sides of the structures—those that had not been thankfully eroded by time—were.

"Chiiii," Chimecho whined, quickly floating away from the viewport.

"I know, Chimecho, it hurts my head to look at it too," James complained, massaging his temples, a headache coming on.

"You think you've got it bad? I have compound vision…which means I'm seeing it through several hundred eyes," Buzz groaned, wings humming unhappily.

"Wow, no wonder everyone was relieved when this place sank…" Jessie muttered. "And the seaweed we need is growing in there?"

Wabbaku nodded. "I'm afraid so."

The Dustox sighed. "Oh well…if we have no other choice…all right, Mickey, full throttle! We're going in there!"

"Kay," Mickey said, pedaling a little harder.

"So, Wabbaku, can you tell where in that city the weed is growing?" James asked as the submarine sped towards the ruins.

Wabbaku nodded. "The spirits will guide the way. First we must find a safe place to anchor the submarine, though, while we explore the city."

Jessie frowned. "We can't just pick up the seaweed in the sub?"

Wabbaku shook his head. "It's growing in too tight a space for the submarine to fit without causing any buildings to collapse…we will have to venture into the ruins on foot to find our objective. And once we have the weed…"

"You can cure me?" Mickey asked hopefully.

"Most definitely," Wabbaku said.

The almost-demon sighed in relief. "Finally! The sooner I get outta this horrible hunka scales and spines and extra orifices, da better!"

"It's a good thing you enchanted those glass helmets so we could breathe and walk around underwater at this pressure, then," James said. Wabbaku nodded.

"I guess it wasn't a waste of time after all…" Jessie admitted reluctantly.

"Chiii?" Chimecho squeaked abruptly, staring out another window.

"What is it, Chimecho?" James asked.

"Hey, what's that?" Buzz asked, peering through the same viewport.

The others (except, of course, for Gardenia and Mickey) clustered around the window. As the submarine approached the city and they passed over the lava chasm, the light from the molten rock and flames revealed something…odd. Something was carved into the bedrock surrounding Hyperbeamorea. It looked like a giant serpent of some sorts, completely encircling the sunken city so that it was biting its own tail. There was something unsettling about the carving, even more so than the disturbing architecture making up the entirety of the ruined metropolis. "Something evil…" Wabbaku whispered as his spirits whispered warnings to him. "Let us pray that it never awakens…for if it does, a catastrophe far greater than Mickey becoming a demon completely will ensue."

"Would such a catastrophe be prevented by putting Mickey's hat on it?" Jessie asked.

"Regrettably, no," Wabbaku said.

"Darn. Guess we'll be stuck wid it a little longer…" Mickey complained.

"I told you, I think it looks good on you," James said.

"Dat's only because it's so ugly it makes me pretty in comparison," Mickey pointed out.

"Well…I guess that's true…" James admitted.

"Other than that evil sleeping thing, is there anything else we should worry about here?" Buzz asked.

Wabbaku frowned. "Hard to tell. The distorted reality caused by the incredibly bad art and nonsensical geometry is making it difficult for the spirits to properly gauge what lies down there. They can show me where the seaweed is, but…if there's something else dangerous hiding in the city, we might not know it until it's too late."

"That's reassuring…" Jessie grumbled.

"Yeah, well I doubt dat whatever's in dat freaky city is as bad as I am, what wid me being an almost-demon and all," Mickey said. "So let's get down dere and find da ting we need to cure me already!"

"And then we can get back to sunlight and fresh air," Jessie said in relief.

"And get back to our real mission of following Team Aurabolt!" James said.

"And then I can depart, my obligations fulfilled," Wabbaku said. He smiled ruefully. "This will certainly be a story to tell my family when I get home…" Under her bench, Gardenia heaved and sobbed.

"Will we ever see you again?" Buzz asked.

"Probably not," Wabbaku said. "But I will remember you always." _Though not especially fondly. Well, except maybe for Gardenia. I have to admit, out of all of them, she is the one I will miss the most…the only one, actually._ He frowned, glancing at the Cacnea. _I wonder what's wrong with her, anyway…is it something I said?_ If his spirit guides had had faces and hands, they would have facepalmed.

The Magikarp submarine entered the city of Hyperbeamorea. Within it lay the final ingredient Wabbaku needed to finish the spell to restore Mickey…and something so horrible that by the time they were through, one of their team would not make it out of the sunken city alive.

And no, it wasn't the bad art, but something worse, albeit not by much.

…

Elsewhere…

_Any luck, Mistress?_ The Hitmonchan aristocrat asked Gardevoir.

She reflexively shook her head, recalled that he couldn't see it because they were in separate cells, and sent back a, _No, I'm afraid not._

The Doduo peasant sighed in frustration. _Great, even with all of us working together, we can't reach them! Then again, 'all of us' is basically just us three and the moron next door._ The Bidoof drooled and gnawed on his silver manacles, not seeming to notice how they burned his mouth and blackened his tongue.

_I _know _they're out there_, Gardevoir said, gritting her fangs in frustration. _I just…can't reach them. I can sense them, but even by combining our powers, they're still too far for us to reach. I can barely feel them, either through the network or through our connection to each other as vampires._

_Well, considering how far away the Convocum is from here, I suppose it's not that surprising you'd have some trouble reaching them,_ said the cook.

_It's still rather freaky…I mean, even if they were only part of our network for a short while, they were still a part of us…and even though they're not gone, they're so far from us now it feels as if a piece of ourselves has been taken away,_ the janitor complained.

_Still, it's not as disconcerting as dying and losing your body,_ the deceased vampire Nosepass said.

_Which isn't really something the rest of us have experienced,_ the guard commented.

_Ahem,_ the numerous souls of the deceased in the network said loudly.

_That is, something the rest of us that are still _alive_ haven't experienced, anyway,_ the guard quickly amended.

The problem the rebel network was discussing was how earlier that day Bellum had taken three of their newest members, the vampires, for her demonstration at the centennial Convocum Mysticus Fantastica, and how they were now unable to reach their displaced brethren. She had taken one member of each vampiric 'class' to serve as specimens, as well as a number of the samples and research she had performed with Tarantulas to make a better and more impactful presentation. Technically, she was forbidden to exploit or abuse sentient magical creatures as an experiment or entry for the Convocum due to its status as a neutral event where mystics of all races and alignments could meet on equal ground with equal rights, but sentient _non_magical creatures were fair game, and Bellum believed that with enough evidence—and one or two doctored circumstances—she could convince the judges that her vampires were thoroughly unmagical and still be an impressive enough discovery to win her the Rod of Merlin for sure. Naturally, the Teacher had instructed the vampires who were chosen to go to the convention how best they could demonstrate they were far from unmagical to expose Bellum's deceit and raise awareness of the plight of their friends back in the Nihilator headquarters, but since they were now unable to contact their distant agents, they had no way of knowing how well the plan was going or any way to give their comrades support or assistance.

And to make matters worse, Gardevoir herself would soon be taken from them. She would not be as far from her colleagues as the friends Bellum had taken were…but considering she was soon to be a prisoner of Oblivion's Shadow, the enigmatic and horrifying leader of the Nihilators, she might as well have been.

Fortunately, the Teacher had a plan for that, as well…

_It will not be much longer before they come to pick up Gardevoir,_ the Teacher said. _Is everyone ready?_

_I've got the special syringe and scent suppressant Kevin will need here in my infirmary,_ one of the base's medics, who happened to secretly be one of the rebels, reported.

_I'm on my way to pick them up,_ the Kecleon reported. _I'll be in position shortly after that._

_I've got the shift monning the cameras for that sector, so I can scramble the footage to make sure the tapes don't record anything suspicious should anything go wrong,_ the security guard said.

_Which it won't!_ Kevin said confidently.

_I've sabotaged the elevators so that they'll have no choice but to use the one we've rigged…and if the simulations I ran earlier are correct, it should break down long enough for us to execute the plan,_ a technician said.

_I've cleared anyone who might interfere from the area by offering a special meal to whoever wins an arm-wrestling competition in my cafeteria,_ the cook said. _There's not a single Shadow Pokemon left in that sector, and few people remaining who aren't with us._

_And just in case there is, the cleaning staff and I, along with some of those spider 'bots of Tarantulas we've managed to reprogram, are standing by to provide backup in case it's needed,_ the janitor said. _We weren't able to get any Dark-types down here—they've all been put on the other side of the base, to keep Gardevoir or any other vampire from getting control over them—but we're here in case you need us._

_Which we won't!_ Kevin repeated.

_And Kevin, once you've extracted the sample from Gardevoir, you know your escape route?_ The Teacher asked.

_No problem. I spent most of last night practicing it. Almost got caught a few times, but those stupid robots patrolling the ducts have nothing on my stealth skills!_ Kevin said.

_That would be because we've managed to reprogram most of the robots in the ducts not to notice you,_ the technician said.

_Well…yeah, but even with that advantage, none of them spotted me!_ Kevin asserted.

_Actually…_ the security guard said.

_Oh, shut up,_ Kevin grumbled.

_So, in other words, everything is set up?_ Gardevoir asked.

_It seems that way. And there's always our backup plan in case that fails…although I am wary to use it, since it is still too early for us to play our hand and reveal our existence to our captors,_ the Teacher said. _But, if there is no other way…_

_Then we will do what must be done,_ the technician said firmly.

_Or rather, you will, since guys like me are still trapped in cells getting tortured and ass-raped,_ the prisoner complained.

_And then, I'll _finally_ become a vampire!_ Lovrina said. _It's about damn time!_

_You won't be the only one getting a dose of vampire blood, you know,_ Kevin pointed out.

_No, but I'm going to be one of the first. Right, Gardevoir? You promised!_ Lovrina said.

Gardevoir laughed. _That I did._

_Don't worry, you'll be one of us soon enough,_ the Hitmonchan assured the Skitty.

_And one of the highest-ranking, too!_ Lovrina said eagerly.

_Yes, of course. In any event…I wish there were more we could do for you, Mistress,_ the Hitmonchan complained. _We will be trapped here, while you will be completely at that monster's mercy._

_Except he doesn't have any,_ the Doduo said.

_Precisely my point,_ the Hitmonchan said. The Bidoof slavered and nibbled on his tail.

Gardevoir smiled. _I appreciate your sentiment, and am grateful you all care for me so much…though I can't help wondering how much of that concern is genuine and how much is due to your transformation and forced subservience to me?_

_It feels genuine to us, Mistress,_ the Hitmonchan said.

_And even if it weren't, does it really make a difference?_ The Doduo asked.

_It does to me…_ Gardevoir muttered. _When are the guards coming to collect me?_

_You've got a while yet. From what I hear, they're still setting up and safety-checking your new cell. Once it's ready, they'll move you out,_ the technician said.

_Then if I have time…there is something I've been meaning to do, and I'm not sure I'll have an opportunity later,_ Gardevoir said. _I intend to delve into my subconscious._

_Why?_ The cook asked.

_I am different from the other vampires…and not just in terms of power or being the first and Queen, either. While the rest of my new…'kind' have undergone a rather dramatic personality shift and seem to have no compunctions about how much blood they take from the Pokemon the Doctor gives them to feed on and whether or not it hurts their victims—unless I tell them to be more gentle, that is-I'm still mostly the same as I've always been…and yet there's still a part of me that enjoys being called 'Mistress' and wants to exercise more power rather than restrain it even were I not bound by silver and ultraviolet light, and sees myself as being superior to 'mere' regular Pokemon. While I am happy that I am still mostly 'me,' I want to know why this darker part continues to exist…and why it has not overtaken me to the extent that it has the rest of my kindred._

_I don't see why you find it such a big deal. I'm happy the way I am,_ the puzzled Hitmonchan said.

_Me too,_ the Doduo said. _Or I would be if I weren't a prisoner in a laboratory, anyway._

_I think you're worrying too much. I don't really see what the problem with being like that is,_ Lovrina said. _I'd rather be a vampire than a mortal any day!_

_That's because you're a freak,_ Kevin said.

_Well of course I am, if I weren't a freak I'd never have joined the Nihilators in the first place,_ Lovrina pointed out.

…_Can't argue with that,_ Kevin admitted.

_I don't understand. Are you saying you don't _like_ what you are, Mistress?_ The dead Mothim asked in puzzlement.

_I didn't say that. I just want to understand why I'm…well, different,_ Gardevoir said. _So I'm going to look inside myself to figure it out. It's something I figured out how to do during my millennium as a spirit, something to do to pass the long years. It's not like I have anything better to do at the moment, right?_

_I suppose not…_ the Nosepass said reluctantly.

_Want any of us to come with you? _Lovrina asked.

_She wants to go into her subconscious. I'm pretty sure that's supposed to be more of a solo thing,_ Kevin said.

_Why? It's not like we have any privacy from each other anyway, due to the way all our souls are linked,_ Lovrina said.

_Which means you'll know what happened anyway when she gets back,_ the medic said.

_Oh. Good point,_ Lovrina said.

_I doubt I'll be too long. Somebody wake me up if the guards come early, please?_ Gardevoir asked politely.

_Of course, Mistress, _the Hitmonchan said. _You can count on us!_

_I hope you find whatever it is you are looking for_, the Teacher said.

_So do I,_ Gardevoir said. She closed her eyes…

And opened them again to find herself in a dark space. She was all alone...

Until two figures appeared before her. Much to her surprise, the figures were herself…except, not entirely. One of them looked much as she had before, but was completely white in skin, dress, and hair, with beautiful wings and a golden halo. The other looked rather demonic, even more so than her current form did, all red and black with horns and a barbed tail. The two of them were bickering furiously. "That's a terrible plan! If we do that, we'll get us and Arceus knows how many other people killed!" the angelic Gardevoir said.

"At least we'll take some of them down with us! And it's better than YOUR stupid plan, which is to just sit and do nothing!" the demonic Gardevoir retorted.

"How is going buck-wild and causing as much damage as possible better than waiting for an opportunity to retaliate that won't get lots of people killed?" the angel argued.

"Because if we just _wait_ for an opportunity, it might never come, and more people could die from our refusal to act!" the demon replied. "If we attack hard and fast, we can take them down with minimal casualties!"

"I don't want there to be _any_ casualties, though!" the angel protested. "These poor people have suffered enough, and not every innocent soul in this base is connected to our network! If they die as collateral from our fighting the Nihilators, that's it! There's no saving them! We want to _save_ lives, not end them!"

"This is a war, and in war people get killed! It's a fact of life!" the demon argued. "We've seen enough of those to know that by now!"

"Which is exactly why we should try and _avoid_ letting innocent people get hurt! To keep this from being as awful as every other war we've experienced!"

"You're an idealistic fool! If we just sit back and play 'nice,' we won't get anything done, and we'll never be able to save ourselves and defeat Oblivion's Shadow! Our friends could be killed by our refusal to act!" the demon snarled.

"And you're a bloodthirsty monster! If we try to fight back and break free before the Teacher and everyone else is ready, all we'll do is get ourselves killed and expose the network! Then our friends will _certainly_ be killed!" the angel retaliated.

Gardevoir looked in wonder as the angel and devil continued arguing, looking as if they were about to come to blows. What did this conflict have to say about her subconscious? Neither of her other 'selves' seemed to notice her. She wondered if she should speak up and find out what was going on. As far as she could tell, they were arguing about how to deal with her impending transfer to Oblivion's Shadow's quarters. The angel thought she should go along with it, gather information, and wait for a chance to exploit it, which was pretty much what the Teacher's plan was. The demon thought they shouldn't bother with it and try to fight back directly, which Gardevoir didn't think made much sense because the Nihilators probably had lots of anti-vampire weapons by now, so it would just get her killed…although she admitted she wouldn't mind breaking free of her bonds if she had the chance and taking out her frustration and the suffering of her friends and everyone else imprisoned by the Nihilators out on something. With her new powers, she could certainly do a lot of damage…that idea had a certain appeal to it, despite her knowing it wouldn't work. Then again, would waiting patiently for an opportunity that might never come while being tortured and examined by the greatest evil the world had ever known work much better? She frowned, the arguing between her other 'selves' reflecting this uncertainty…which made sense, since they were part of her subconscious.

The argument was interrupted when abruptly a third Gardevoir appeared. This one looked exactly as Gardevoir herself did now, a dark and vaguely demonic (though not to the same extent as the 'other' demon, of course) vampiress. The vampire put her hands on the shoulders of both the angel and the demon, quieting them and turning them to look at her. "Girls, girls. This fighting isn't getting us anywhere."

"But she's wrong!" the angel blurted. "If we try and break free, we'll only get our friends killed and possibly expose the resistance before they're ready to fight! We need to wait until we have more intel and everyone is ready to strike against the Nihilators!"

"No, _she's_ wrong!" the demon shouted. "If we just play along like a nice little prisoner, more people will get hurt, and there's no guarantee we'll even be able to break free from Oblivion's Shadow once we're in his grasp! This is the best chance we've got!"

"You both have valid points," the vampire said calmly. "No matter what we do, there's a good chance that people will be hurt or killed, people we want to help and protect. However, arguing over which way is best isn't going to help us out or decide the best course of action. Why don't we compromise?"

The two other Gardevoir recoiled in alarm. "Compromise?" the angel cried.

"What good will that do?" the demon protested.

"It will make everyone, if not happy, at least not _un_happy, and it will hopefully guarantee the smallest amount of deaths and bloodshed," the vampire said soothingly, and Gardevoir was impressed by how much the other two seemed to relax as the vampire talked to them. If this weren't her subconscious and they weren't all the same person, she might have thought her other self was using vampiric mind control on them. "We will go along with the Teacher's plan, for now. We will allow ourselves to be taken to Oblivion's Shadow, with Kevin drawing some blood from us he can use to create more vampires and bolster our ranks."

The angel smirked triumphantly. "But that's boring!" the demon protested. "And makes us seem like a helpless victim! And not everyone will be vampirized who needs it!"

"You believe _everyone_ needs it," the angel said.

"That's because they do! In a place like this, there's no other way to guarantee their survival," the demon pointed out.

"They'll also be damned to an eternity of servitude to us and will never be able to see the light of day again," the angel said.

The demon stared at her blankly. "…That's a bad thing?" The angel facepalmed.

"Not everyone wants to be a vampire," the vampire said.

The demon frowned. "Well, _that's_ stupid."

"Depends on your point of view," the vampire said. "Anyway, I wasn't finished. I said we'd follow the Teacher's plan…_for now._ If something goes wrong with the blood extraction scheme, or if things just get worse once we reach Oblivion's Shadow and there's no clear way for us to exploit a flaw in his defenses, _then_ we'll try something a little more drastic. Considering how easily we can be killed by silver or solar energy, I'm not confident any escape attempt we make will work, but we may at least be able to wound or kill the Shadow and give our friends the distraction they need to strike back. How does that sound?"

"Well…all right. So long as we get a chance to rip out that bastard's throat with our fangs…without turning him into one of us, that is," the demon said.

"If we did, wouldn't he be under our control?" the angel asked.

"He's—possibly-stronger than we are. Who's to say the virus won't decide to make _him_ the prime host instead?" the demon pointed out. "And then where would that leave us?"

The angel grimaced. "Not in any good shape, you're right…"

"Does this plan sit well with you, too?" the vampire asked.

The angel sighed. "I'm not too happy about us taking risks that could get people killed, but…so long as it's only to be used as a last resort, I'm fine with it."

"You're a wuss. You cringe at the thought of violence," the demon said scornfully.

"After all the violence we've seen over the last thousand years, I should think you'd feel the same way," the angel said angrily. "Bloodshed is not the way to achieve peace."

"Certainly it is. If you kill all your rivals and Miltank everyone else into submission, then nobody will dare to challenge you. Sounds like peace to me," the demon said.

"And if we were to use our powers that way, how would we be any better than the Nihilators?" the angel demanded.

"Well…we'd be controlling the world rather than destroying it. And we wouldn't rape anyone. That's not so bad in comparison, is it?" the demon asked. "Or…wait, does vampirizing people or drinking their blood against their will count as a sort of rape? Hmm. Maybe I should think this through a little more." The angel sweatdropped.

"That's something we can discuss more once we're free and the Nihilators have been dealt with," the vampire said conciliatorily. "But for now we're all fine with our current compromise?" The other two Gardevoirs nodded. "Good. I'm glad we got that taken care. Now, if you'll excuse me for a moment…" She walked away from the angel and demon, allowing them to start bickering among themselves again. Much to Gardevoir's surprise, the vampire walked right over to her and smiled. "I was wondering when you'd get around to coming here."

"You can see me?" asked the surprised Gardevoir.

"Certainly. Why wouldn't I?" the vampire asked.

"Because, well…you're a figment of my subconscious. You don't actually _exist_," Gardevoir insisted. "…Do you?"

The vampire shrugged. "I believe I exist, and that's good enough for me. What do you think of the little show you just witnessed?"

Gardevoir frowned. "Interesting…though I'm trying to figure out what the existence and balance of the three of you is supposed to represent. Are you my id, ego, and superego? Or are those two over there supposed to represent my 'good' and 'evil' sides, with you as some sort of mediator?"

"You're close, but neither of those is quite the correct explanation," the vampire said. She pointed at the angel, who seemed to be oblivious to Gardevoir's presence. "She represents you as you used to be, pre-infection. A pure-hearted compassionate person with a strong understanding of right and wrong who cares deeply for her friends and will do anything, even give up her own life, to protect them. She would do the same thing even for people she had never met before. She loves the world and would do everything in her power to make it a better place. However, she isn't fond of violence and will only use it if there's no other choice…or if she's _really_ angry."

"And I'm not like that now?" Gardevoir asked.

"Not anymore. At least, not completely," the vampire said. She pointed to the demon, which was also oblivious to them. "She, on the other hand, represents what you could have been post-infection, were you not so deeply aware of the difference between right and wrong. She is a you consumed by darkness, but not evil per se—at least, she doesn't think of herself as evil—but not quite good, either. She also cares for everyone and would do everything in her power to protect them…except 'everything' includes bending them to her will and turning them into creatures like herself. She would conquer the world and rule it with an iron fist in the name of bettering everyone's lives, brutally crushing anything she perceived as a threat, to create her own version of an ideal peace."

Gardevoir grimaced. "I'm certainly not like that! At least…I don't think I am…"

"Again, you aren't, at least not completely," the vampire said. She pointed to herself. "As for me…I represent you as you are now, and what you are becoming. I am your mirror, and the balance between the two extremes that are your other 'selves.' Like them, I have a compassionate heart and want to help everyone and save the world…but unlike the angel, I have no problem with using violence or less savory means to do so, while unlike the demon, I have a better grasp of right and wrong so know there are certain lines I cannot and _will not_ cross, even for the sake of protecting everyone."

Gardevoir frowned in thought. "I see…but why does this balance exist? Why am I not one or the other?"

"Your inner 'light' was too strong for the virus to completely corrupt," the vampire explained. "It was your pure heart that made you eligible both to read the map to the Star Badges and suitable for the sacrifice to revive the Ruler of Evil, remember? However, the darkness was too strong for that light to eradicate. As a result, they now exist side-by-side in somewhat reluctant harmony. It is because of this that you are the way you are now…still you, still good, but also with certain 'darker' urges that you might never have entertained otherwise. In comparison, the 'light' of your new kindred wasn't strong enough, and they were overwhelmed by darkness. As I said before, that doesn't make them evil, just not as considerate for others' feelings as you are."

Gardevoir frowned. "Oh dear…and there is no way to fix this?"

The vampire frowned. "What's there to fix? Being the way you are now isn't necessarily a bad thing. Your character now has a different flavor…before, it was too vanilla."

"I like vanilla," Gardevoir protested. "Other ice cream flavors are nice, but I'm happiest with the uncomplicated taste of vanilla."

"Life isn't always as uncomplicated as ice cream," the vampire pointed out. "And now, neither are you."

Gardevoir sighed and shrugged. "Oh well…I suppose I'll just make the most of it. It could have been worse, right?"

The vampire nodded. "Most certainly. If the virus had been able to completely take hold over you, you'd be much less nice. And probably try to seduce everything that moved."

Gardevoir blanched. "Ah. Yes, I think I probably am better off as I am now."

"So do I," the vampire nodded. "Anyway…it's been nice talking to you, but you should probably leave now. It can't be healthy to spend too much time inside your own subconscious…and besides, I have my work cut out for me, keeping these two in check." They glanced at the angel and demon, which had taken their mediator's absence as an excuse to get a little more physical. The demon had her angelic counterpart in a headlock and was viciously giving her noogies, while the angel screamed and tried to bite and kick at her. Gardevoir sweatdropped, and the vampire sighed. "I can't leave them alone for two seconds, can I?"

"I almost envy you…babysitting them is probably much more pleasant than what I'm going to be going through shortly," Gardevoir said wistfully.

"Yeah," the vampire agreed. "Good luck with that. I hope that whatever the Shadow puts you through isn't so bad that it seriously shakes things up down here. I already have enough trouble keeping those two from killing each other."

"So do I," Gardevoir said.

"Anyway…it was nice of you to stop by. Feel free to drop in again any time, I could use the company," the vampire said.

"Sure thing," Gardevoir said, deciding not to think too long about what part of her subconscious feeling lonely and desiring more interaction with her conscious self implied. She was Psychic, but it wasn't like she was a psychiatrist or anything. She exchanged farewells and closed her eyes…

And reopened them to find herself back in her cell. _Mistress, you're back!_ The Doduo cried in relief.

_We were getting worried. You were gone for quite some time,_ the Hitmonchan said.

_Really? It didn't seem that long to me. Sorry for worrying you,_ Gardevoir apologized.

_Did you discover whatever it was you were looking for?_ The Teacher asked.

_I believe so,_ Gardevoir said, sharing her introspection with the rest of the network.

_Well, that's mildly interesting, but I don't see how it matters in the slightest to the rest of us in the long run,_ the prisoner complained.

_You don't have to be so negative, you know,_ Lovrina said.

_I'm in prison and constantly being tortured and abused. How else do you expect me to behave?_ The prisoner snapped.

_Something that _does _matter is that they've finished constructing and installing your new cell. Oblivion's Shadow has sent guards to escort you to your new home,_ the security guard said. _They'll be there any second now._

_I finished my dive just in time, then,_ Gardevoir said. _Is everyone ready?_

_As ready as we can be,_ the janitor said.

Gardevoir nodded. _Then let's do this. We only have one shot, so let's make it count._

_You can count on me,_ Kevin assured her.

Soon after that, the door to the lab opened and a dozen or so Shadow Pokemon wearing mirrored lenses and headphones to protect themselves from vampiric hypnosis with silver-tipped lances in their claws entered the room, escorted by a handful of Tarantulas's robots, who had been left to tend the lab in his absence. "Miss Gardevoir?" their leader, a Torterra, said. "We're here to take you to your new quarters."

"We hope you'll enjoy them," a Solrock sneered. The others chuckled.

Gardevoir stood as tall and straight as she could, with a certain degree of grace and regality that she found came naturally to her. Another benefit of her status as Queen of the vampires? "I'm ready."

They opened the door to her cell and attached silver chains to her shackles and collar, lances pointed at her all the while to make sure she didn't try anything. They clearly expected her to put up a fight, and seemed noticeably disappointed when she didn't resist in the slightest, not giving them any excuse to pierce her body with lethal silver or fry her with solar energy. As they led her out of the cell, she glanced over her shoulder to see her minions gazing at her forlornly from their own cells, despair and anxiety clear on their faces. _Don't worry,_ she told them with more confidence than she felt. _I'll be fine._

_I hope so, Mistress…_ the Doduo said unhappily. The Bidoof clacked its teeth, looking unusually focused.

_Good luck, my lady,_ the Hitmonchan said, waving a boxing glove as she was taken out of the lab. _You will need it far more than we do in the days to come._

Gardevoir set her mouth in a hard line, knowing that he was right.

…

And that's that. Wow, I certainly finished this chapter in record time, didn't I? I would have thought it would have taken longer, what with me working two jobs and all.

Anyway, some interesting things happened in this chapter, such as Team Aurabolt getting shipwrecked and Leo going insane, the attack on Mt. Blaze finally starting, and things beginning to heat up in some of our other subplots. More intriguing and exciting developments shall occur as the characters of all these story threads fight their own battles…with repercussions that will be felt for the rest of the saga. Probably.

And oh, don't think Gardevoir's chat with her subconscious was pseudo-philosophical Taurosshit or a one-time deal. It was more important than you might think…and we haven't seen the last of those figments of her mind.

Check in next time to see how events unfold. Hopefully, you'll be reading it in as short a time it took for me to get this chapter written. Stay tuned!


	45. Secret of Zero Isle

And now, after far too long a wait (or what felt like one to me) for the moment you've all been waiting for…PIRATES!

Oh, and Leo being insane. And the heroes of Kanjohenn invading Mt. Blaze. And Team Nightshade putting on their play. And Team Rocket doing…stupid stuff. Yeah.

Let's get to that, shall we? You've been anticipating it long enough.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

"_Leo's WHAT?"_ Ash yelled.

"He seems to have lost his mind and now believes he's a character called 'Monscrub Fourplank,'" Sasha repeated. She glanced at the Squirtle, who was wandering around, randomly touching objects and saying things like, "This is a tree. It looks like every other tree in the forest, except its leaves are a different shape," or "This is a piece of fruit. I hope it's not poisonous." And he kept picking up miscellaneous paraphernalia and storing them in his shell…which wasn't so different from what Leo did normally, except that he didn't usually describe whatever it was he was picking up before putting it away.

"_Oh no…"_ whispered a horrified Lily.

"_Lost his mind? It's arguable whether he had it in the first place," _Briney said blithely.

"_Just when I think he can't top himself, he does something like this,"_ Pikachu groaned.

"_Well, considering it's either play a fantasy or acknowledge an awful truth, I suppose it's not that surprising which he would pick,"_ Lily said. _"I've had to do the same thing on more than one occasion, when things became so bad at home that not even B could keep my spirits up."_

"…_He lost his INTERNET CONNECTION. Isn't calling that an 'awful truth' a bit of a stretch?"_ Pikachu demanded.

"_Even during the worst times of his childhood when Tiama was terrorizing his village, he always had the Internet to fall back on,"_ Lily said. _"It helped preserve his sanity. It gave him an escape from the misery and monotony of his life. He had a lot of emotion and memories invested in it. With his connection to it lost…well, it's understandable he might go a little out of sorts. I'd have probably done the same thing in his place. I've come close more than once, whenever things became unbearable and B wasn't there to help…"_

"…_Oh. I didn't realize…" _Pikachu said awkwardly. "_I…guess that might explain why he's gone off the deep end…though it's still kind of weird."_

"_A bit of an understatement, that,"_ Briney commented.

"_Monscrub Fourplank? From Mankey Island?" _Tiny asked.

There was a pause. _"You know who that is?"_ asked the surprised Ash.

"_Yeah, he's the main character from a computer game series called 'Mankey Island.' Leo showed it to me a few times. It's fun and funny, and I think it's where he got that idea about ghost pirates being weak against root beer from,_" Tiny said.

"…_Ah," _Ash said, nonplussed.

"_I think he may have mentioned that game to me, too,"_ Lily recalled.

"_What's it about?" _Pikachu asked.

"_Monscrub Fourplank and his adventures to become a mighty pirate, while winning the affections of the beautiful Governor Elayne Morley and thwarting his recurring nemesis, the evil undead pirate DeChuck,"_ Tiny said.

"_Wait, the main character's a pirate? Aren't pirates evil?"_ asked the confused Ash.

"_They are in my experience,"_ Briney said. _"Not after I'm through with them, though."_

"_Monscrub isn't evil," _Tiny said defensively. _"Neither are most of the other pirates in the series aside from DeChuck."_

"…_But if they're not evil, what do they do in their spare time?"_ Pikachu asked. _"Don't pirates go around pillaging and plundering and all that?"_

"_They do in my experience,"_ Briney said. _"Not after I'm through with them, though."_

"_Well…if they do, it's not onscreen,"_ Tiny said hesitantly.

Sasha glanced at Leo, who was banging a coconut with a rock before shrugging and saying, "I can't use these two items together," and pulling out a hammer instead.

"He certainly doesn't seem evil," the Absol said dubiously.

"_Well, I never said Monscrub was any good at being a pirate,"_ Tiny said.

"_I suppose we should count our blessings…considering all the stuff in his shell and his 'genre savyness,' if Leo DID decide to be evil, he might become a problem,"_ Ash said.

"_And you call him thinking he's an incompetent pirate not a problem?"_ Pikachu demanded incredulously.

"_Better that than a competent one,"_ Briney pointed out.

"_Leo is not incompetent!"_ Lily said angrily.

"_Neither is Monscrub," _Tiny said. _"Granted, he's bad at being a pirate, and kind of a loser at times, and he really isn't much to look at, but he always pulls through in the end and manages to get the girl. Well, except for the ending of Mankey Island 2: DeChuck's Revenge, but nobody really understood that part or what the creator was thinking then."_

"_How much of this series have you played?"_ Ash asked suspiciously. _"And when?"_

"_Bits and parts. Mainly when you weren't looking,"_ Tiny admitted. Ash sighed.

"What should I do about this? He insists I call him 'Monscrub' and seems to think I'm someone named 'Karla.' May I assume she's also from this game?" Sasha asked.

"_Yes,"_ said Tiny. _"She was the Sword Mistress of Duel Island that Monscrub had to defeat in the first game as part of a test to prove himself as a Mighty Pirate. She returned in the fourth game hating his guts because he accidentally abandoned her on the titular Mankey Island with no way to get home."_

"_Only bits and parts, huh?" _Ash asked. Tiny did not reply.

"_With our luck, he'll think the rest of us are characters from that game, too," _Pikachu said with a weary sigh.

"_I wonder who he would think I am?"_ Lily asked curiously.

"_I may have an idea…"_ Briney said slyly.

"_So…what do we do about this?" _Ash asked.

"I have tried to convince him of the reality of our situation, but his protests to the contrary got rather shrill, so I stopped for the sake of my ears," Sasha said.

"_Sasha could hit him over the head,"_ Pikachu said a little too eagerly. _"That usually does the trick on television."_

"_Nah, that rarely works in real life. Take my word for it," _Briney said. _"I can probably mind crush the madness out of him once I get in range of his mind."_

"_Mind crush? Will that be painful?"_ Lily asked anxiously.

"_Oh, not in the slightest…for me, anyway,"_ Briney said, not reassuring her.

Sasha frowned. "That means I'll need to bring him to you. Is it…safe to transport him in his condition?"

"_Can he walk?"_ Briney asked.

"Yes," Sasha said.

"_Then he should be fine,"_ Briney said.

"_Fighting may be another story, though,"_ Tiny said. _"Mankey Island is an adventure game, not a fighting one. Monscrub's okay with a sword, but only in insult swordfights. He usually defeats his enemies using his wits and clever combinations of items rather than through violence. Well, except for that time in Escape from Mankey Island where he learned martial arts from the Mankeys, but most people discount that game."_

"_That kinda sounds a lot like how Leo is normally…except he's getting better at the violence part," _Ash said.

"_Insult swordfights? I don't think I really want to know…"_ Pikachu said.

"If it's an adventure game, wouldn't there be lots of violence?" asked a confused Sasha. "Since there usually is in adventures, especially if ours is anything to go by?"

"…_That's actually a good question. I'm not sure why they're called 'adventure' games,"_ Tiny admitted. _"But it's better than 'game where you point and click at things to guide the Player Character and solve puzzles by using items in interesting ways.'"_

"_Aye, 'adventure' game does have a better ring to it than that," _Briney agreed.

"_I'm sorry to ask this of you, Sasha, but I'm afraid you're going to have to babysit Leo and keep him out of trouble—well, more than he usually gets into—until you can reach us and Briney can fix his brain,"_ Ash said apologetically.

Sasha sighed. "I suppose I have no choice…at least with my disaster-sense I should sense trouble coming. Keeping Leo out of it, on the other hand, is another story…"

"_I don't envy you," _Pikachu said, grateful that he was not only rather fond of his current companion (and engaged to her, albeit not entirely willingly but at the same time not entirely _un_willingly), Dawn, but he didn't have to worry about her talking his ear off the whole time. You know, what with her being mute and all. _"Try to keep your temper and not hurt him too much, no matter how tempting it might be. It's probably not his fault if he's more irritating than usual…this time, at least."_

"I will try to be patient," Sasha said. "Though I cannot promise how long it will last." Sasha grimaced. "Does that mean I must…play along with his delusions, too?"

"_Well, if he's really that insistent on being 'Monscrub'…you might as well,"_ Ash said.

"_It'll only be a little while, until you can get to us and I can fix him,"_ Briney said.

"_That shouldn't be too bad…right?"_ Pikachu asked, not sure he believed it.

Sasha sighed. "I hope so…but very well. I'll play along. For now."

"_Please be careful. I would hate it if anything happened to either of you!"_ Lily said.

"_Yeah, it wouldn't be the same without your constant watchful care and occasionally out-of-place violence and Leo's games and comic relief," _Tiny said.

"I will try my best to protect the both of us," Sasha said. "I will see the rest of you at the rendezvous point." She checked the positions of the other team members on her badge, then called to her traveling partner. "Leo, put that stick down, it's time for us to go!"

Leo frowned, putting the stick in his shell, figuring he might need it to create a makeshift lever or create a fire or poke a giant monster's eye out. Admittedly, he already had several things that could serve that purpose—he was surprised his inventory was still so full, at this point in his adventures he'd usually lost most of his items at one point or another—but it always paid to carry spares. "Karla, for the last time, my name's Monscrub. Look, I know you dislike me—especially since that cushy government job I got you back on Duel Island fell through—but that's no excuse to keep getting my name wrong! I mean, yeah, lots of people keep getting it wrong, but usually not my close friends…well, people who don't want to kill me. Not that badly, at least."

"…" Sasha sighed, reminding herself she'd promised to play along. "Right. My apologies…Monscrub. We need to get moving and rejoin the others."

Leo blinked. "The others?" He gasped. "That's right, the others! I was so caught up in exploring I forgot…we all got scattered after Kyogre attacked the ship, didn't we? We have to find them!"

Sasha blinked. Leo remembered Kyogre? Did that mean he might be regaining his sanity? "That's right, we do. They're all waiting for us. We were going to meet them at that mountain in the distance so we could set out to find the Star Badge we came here to find, remember?"

Leo nodded. "That's right, to recover it from the clutches of DeChuck!"

Sasha's heart sank. "DeChuck?"

"Yeah, you know…DeChuck? My archnemesis?" Leo prompted, noticing Sasha's blank look. "The evilest mon who ever sailed the Sevorange Islands? The vile ghost/zombie/demon/statue/Walrein/evil pirate god who returns from the dead no matter how many times he's put down, and will stop at nothing to kill me and make my wife Elayne his bride? Who we heard had resurrected again and was planning to use the Star Badge of Zero Isle to do something vaguely evil, so formed a crew of some of my most trusted…er…acquaintances who are least interested in killing me, including yourself, to put a stop to him?" Leo frowned. "You should know this already, Karla. Did you hit your head after we washed up on shore and lose your memories or something?"

"Er…yes, that must have been it," Sasha said awkwardly.

"Do you remember what it was that bruised your noggin? If I can find it and chuck it at your head, maybe it'll give you your memory back," Leo offered.

"What? No!" Sasha cried in alarm.

"You sure? It worked for my grandfather-in-law Harry Fangrot, AKA Herman Torquad Morley," Leo said.

"I would rather not, if it's all right with you," Sasha insisted.

Leo shrugged. "Well, all right. I guess I can understand, I don't like getting things thrown at my head either…not that that seems to stop Elayne when she's in one of her moods…" He frowned. "And speaking of which, we'd better find her before DeChuck does…if we got scattered everywhere, that means she did, too! She could be in trouble! Which…isn't actually a bad thing, since she usually manages to rescue herself pretty well on her own, but I can't stand the thought of DeChuck having his rotting appendages on her for even one minute! Let's go!" He started walking off into the forest.

"Er, it's the other way," Sasha said, gesturing with her head in the opposite direction.

"That it is," Leo said, turning and walking back as if that had been what he meant to do all along. "Let's go!"

Sasha sighed. She had a feeling this was going to take a while…

…

A little later…

Sasha reflected that Leo's current bout of insanity was both better and worse than she had feared. On the upside, while he was chattering about as much as he usually did, he seemed to be talking more to himself than to her, so it was easy to drown out his ramblings. On the downside, he kept _touching_ things and describing them, and picking them up, and occasionally stopping and pulling out numerous items from his shell and testing them all one-by-one on objects that caught his interest while self-narrating. When she asked what he was doing, he told her, "Seeing if something will happen." Nothing did, aside from Sasha losing her patience and barking at him that they needed to keep moving if they were going to catch up with the others.

It also proved to not be as dangerous a trek as Sasha had expected, and she did not need to 'babysit' Leo quite so much as she had worried she would. Her disaster-sense was on remarkably low alert, indicating there weren't many threats in the vicinity, which rather surprised her because she thought tropical jungles were supposed to be full of dangers. Then again, this had been a jungle on an island prison for immortal undead pirates, so she supposed the inhabitants might have wiped out most of the local predators and other threats long ago. Either way, the lack of assailants or dangers made the hike towards the distant peak rather peaceful, and it might have even been called pleasant were it not for Leo's bizarre behavior and frequent stops for experimentation. She finally got fed up and snapped that if he took out one more thing and played with it without her permission, she was going to bite one of his arms off. Leo seemed to take this to heart…

By retracting his arms into his shell and fiddling with his 'inventory' where she couldn't see it. Since he was still walking while doing so, Sasha grudgingly decided she could live with it, and allowed him to keep tinkering.

The calm was broken, however, when their badges started beeping. As Leo looked at his in confusion, Sasha tapped hers with her horn. "Sasha and Leo here. What is it?"

"_Change of plans, mates,"_ Briney said breathlessly. _"We've found the pirates. Or rather, they've found us."_

Leo gasped. Sasha's eyes widened in alarm. _"What? Get out of there!"_ Ash shouted.

"_Too late," _Lily cried. There was the sound of screams and explosions and curses in a strange tongue in the background. _"They're already on us!"_

"_There's a lot of them…more than I expected," _Briney grunted. They could hear more screams, explosions, and the sound of metal smashing through bone. _"And they keep pulling themselves back together no matter how often I rip 'em apart…"_

They could hear Lily chanting a spell under her breath, followed by more explosions and screams. _"We're holding them off as best we can, but we sense more are on the way!"_

Ash cursed loudly and uncharacteristically. _"Daddy, what does that word mean?"_ Tiny asked innocently.

"_Uh…"_ Ash said.

Leo frowned in confusion. "Why is Willy calling Odie Daddy? Did Odie adopt him at some point? I thought Willy was too old for that…then again, I never _did_ ask his age…"

Sasha sweatdropped. "Is now really the time to be wondering that?"

Leo considered that for a moment. "Probably not, no."

"_I'm not really one who likes asking another mon for help…but in these circumstances, I don't think I have a choice,"_ Briney said unhappily. His voice was briefly drowned out by some battle cries, until Briney roared one of his own. There was another explosion. _"Get over here fast, before we're overwhelmed!"_

"_We've got your coordinates…we'll be there as fast as we can!"_ Pikachu promised.

"_Be there even faster!"_ Briney ordered.

Lily gasped. _"Briney, look out!"_

"_What? What's…oh, hell-" _Briney was cut off by another tremendous explosion loud enough to cause Sasha and Leo to flinch. Lily shouted something, but it was drowned out by several dozen unfamiliar voices cheering in unison. Everything after that got rather loud and noisy and incomprehensible, and there was no response no matter how loudly Ash or Pikachu yelled for their friends.

Leo gasped in horror. "Elayne! Elayne? Answer me!"

Sasha blinked. "Elayne?" Leo thought Lily was Elayne? But…wait, wasn't Elayne Monscrub's wife? Which meant…she blanched, not certain she really wanted to follow that thought to its logical conclusion.

"_Briney? Lily? BRINEY! LILY! Shit! Everyone, head for Briney and Lily! We're still picking up their signals, which means their badges are intact…"_ Ash said.

"_But that doesn't necessarily mean that _they_ are…"_ Pikachu said ominously. _"Dawn and I will meet you guys there. Everyone, move out!"_

Sasha glanced up as Leo started running, pushing bushes and ferns out of his way. "Monscrub, where are you going?"

"To save Elayne! She and Fishhook need me!" Leo shouted back.

"But Leo—er, Monscrub-" Sasha started, her disaster-sense flaring.

"Don't worry, I know this is the right way, the voodoo charms we got so we could keep in touch with each other says it is!" Leo called back.

"No, that's not it! Monscrub, that way leads to…" Sasha started.

SPLORCH!

"Gah!" Leo yelled.

Sasha sighed. "A quicksand pit…" Shaking her head, she trotted after Leo, pushing through the growth and plants that Leo had wildly shoved out of his way in his flight and stopping at the edge of what at first looked like a plain, dirt-filled clearing…save for the fact that the dirt was rippling like water and Leo was up to his thighs in it. "Don't struggle," she called to the Squirtle. "It'll only-"

"Make it worse, I know," he called back, trying to stand very still. "This isn't the first time I've gotten caught in quicksand."

Sasha blinked. "It's not?"

"No, I fell into one after getting a giant Arbok to vomit me out of its stomach using a syrup made of ipecac flowers a few years ago on Loot Island," Leo said.

Sasha sweatdropped. "Ah." She glanced around. "Well, keep holding still, I'll try to find a way to get you out of there."

"No need, I've already got a plan," Leo said, spotting a vine draped over a nearby root, a fragile twig propping it up and keeping its loose end from reaching him. "I just need to break that twig, and I can grab that vine and climb out of here!" Rather than spitting at the twig with Water Gun, however, Leo glanced around and instead reached for a thorn growing from a rather spiky and nasty-looking plant nearby. "Use: Thorny Plant!" He picked the thorn, and winced as it pricked him. "Ah, Pappappisshu! Well, I got the thorn, I hope it was worth it."

"I hope so, too," said a confused Sasha. "What are you doing?"

"You'll see," he said. He reached into his shell and pulled out a deflated balloon. "Use: Balloon!" He blew into the balloon until it had inflated somewhat and he was red in the face. He paused for a moment to catch his breath and use his inhaler.

"Where did you get that balloon from?" Sasha asked.

"Oh, I always had it on me but never had cause to use it until now," He replied.

The Absol sweatdropped. "Ah."

Leo then took out a small rock, one of the ones he had probably picked up during their walk. "Use: Balloon on: Rock!" He tied the rock to the balloon and let go of it, creating a floating balloon that was weighted down by the rock and wouldn't fly away. Sasha frowned. While she didn't know much about balloons, she was pretty sure it was a special _gas_ that made them float, not somebody's breath. However, she got the feeling that she shouldn't mention this, lest pointing it out caused the laws of physics to notice and start working again. "Blow: floating balloon!" Leo blew on the balloon, causing it to drift across the quicksand towards the twig. "Perfect!" he cried when it hovered over the twig. "For once today, things are going…" The balloon drifted past the twig and out of sight. His face fell. "Well, darn."

That's when the balloon floated back into view. He brightened. "Hey! Thank goodness for those unpredictable Sevorange Islands trade winds!"

"We aren't in the Sevorange Islands," Sasha said.

Leo blinked. "We're not?"

"No," she said.

"Oh…well…never mind, then," he said. He leaned over and, with some effort, managed to pluck a reed growing from the dirt nearby without sinking too much further into the quicksand, saying, "Pick Up: Reed!" Holding the hollow tube in one hand, he pulled out the thorn he'd removed from the spiky plant in the other. "Use: Thorn on: Reed!" He stuck the thorn in one end of the reed. "Neat! A world-class pea-shooter!" He pointed it at the balloon. "Now I just need to pop that balloon and I'm out of here!" He put the improvised blowgun to his lips, inhaled…

And accidentally swallowed the thorn. He gasped, coughing as he choked, dropping the reed and frantically pounding his chest as he tried to clear his windpipes. Sasha sweatdropped. "Oh, Leo…" She flicked her head, sending a Razor Wind at the root, slicing it and the twig in two and allowing the loose end of the vine to fall in front of Leo.

After the Squirtle spit up the thorn and sucked on his inhaler, he asked, "Since when have you been able to do that?"

"Since always," Sasha said.

He frowned. "Then…does that mean you were going easy on me whenever we insult swordfought?"

"…Yes?" Sasha said, not sure what the right answer was.

"Well, that does wonders for my self-esteem…" Leo muttered. "Figures…anyway, thanks. That didn't go quite as I'd planned."

"That is an understatement," Sasha said as Leo grabbed the vine and used it to pull himself out of the quicksand. "Now come on! We have to hurry!"

"Right!" Leo said, shaking his hindquarters to get the mud off. They rushed off into the forest. This time Leo made sure to watch out for quicksand pits.

…

Unfortunately, they didn't get too far before their progress was impeded by another obstacle. "Wow," Leo said as he stared down into the gaping chasm cutting across their path. A raging river roared by at the bottom, carrying rocks and dead trees and other bits of debris in its current. "This could be a problem."

Sasha glanced around. The gap spread out to the sides in either direction as far as she could see, the cliffs making it up were too steep to climb down, and the river was too strong for them to swim across, especially since Leo might not be aware at the moment that he was a Water Pokemon. What sort of Pokemon was Monscrub Fourplank supposed to be, anyway? "It looks like we'll have to find a way around…" She sighed in exasperation. "We don't have time for this!"

"Then it's a good thing I've already figured out a way across!" Leo said, pointing to a rotted tree standing on the edge of the cliff on the other side of the chasm. "If we knock that down, it could make a bridge! Hmm, except that it's on the wrong side…how can we get over there?" He looked around, and then spotted a thick and sturdy vine stretching across the chasm. "Got it! I'll just climb up there and slide across on the vine using my trusty rubber Combusken with a pulley in the middle!" He pulled out a rubber Combusken with a rather large bulge in its chest.

Sasha stared at it incredulously. "Why…why were you carrying a rubber Combusken with a pulley in the middle in the first place?"

"Hey, you never know when one of these things can come in handy," Leo said. "So I'll slide across on this, then I'll knock the tree over and you can cross after me!"

"That could work," Sasha said. "Or we could do this." She flicked her head, sending Razor Wind at the tree. It sliced through the rotted trunk, causing the tree to topple over with a great crash and form a span bridging the chasm.

Leo frowned. "Yeah, I guess that works too…" Somewhat disappointed, he put the rubber Combusken away. "Can you teach me how to do that?"

"You don't need to. You can already spit high-pressure steams of water that can punch through weakened objects like that tree just as easily as I did," Sasha said.

Leo blinked. "What? No I can't."

"Sure you do. You know Water Gun…don't you?" Sasha asked hesitantly.

Leo frowned. "What? Of course I don't, Karla. Don't be silly. I'm a Farfetch'd!"

Sasha frowned. "A Farfetch'd? Then how do you explain your blue skin, curly tail, and shell? And noticeable lack of feathers or leek sword?"

Leo looked down at himself in puzzlement. "What are you talking about, Karla? My skin is covered in feathers, and I don't have a shell. And Elayne won't let me carry a sword around anymore unsupervised after the…accident with Tommy…"

"If you don't have a shell, then where are you keeping all those random objects you keep pulling out?" the Absol demanded.

"In my pants," Leo said.

"Your…pants," Sasha said blankly.

"Yes," Leo said.

"But…but you're not _wearing_ pants!" Sasha protested.

"Of course I am," Leo said, pointing at his conspicuously pantsless legs. "Can't you see them? They're quite nice. I wanted silk, but Elayne refused to spring for them, so I got these instead. I guess I can't complain. They're pretty roomy. You know, what with being big enough for me to store everything."

"But…but…" Sasha stammered.

"Are you all right, Karla?" Leo asked, looking concerned. "You've been acting really weird ever since we got here. You must have hit your head harder than I thought. You sure you don't want me to find whatever bonked you and throw it at you?"

"N-no. Absolutely not," Sasha said. "I'll…I'll be fine." _He's even more delusional than I thought,_ she thought to herself in horror.

"Well, all right," Leo said. "But try to keep weird outbursts like me being a pantsless Squirtle to a minimum from here on out, we're on a deadline here to rescue Elayne before she either a.) rescues herself or b.) is married to DeChuck as part of his latest undefined but undoubtedly evil scheme." He laughed. "On the other hand, I can't help wondering what you'll think next…that you're an Absol or something?"

Sasha laughed weakly. "Er, yes…something like that…"

"Well if you _do_ think that, please keep it to yourself. We don't have time for any more of your weird insanity-induced delays. Come on!" Leo climbed onto the tree and started carefully walking across it.

_If I kill him here, I could drop him into the ravine,_ she thought as she climbed up after Leo. _Nobody would ever know…_

_I would,_ Darkrai said.

_Master, why are you inside my head right now?_ Sasha asked. _I'm wide awake, and the sun is out. You usually don't drop in at this time of day._

_I was bored and wanted to see what you were doing,_ Darkrai said. _You weren't _really_ planning to kill little old Leo, were you?_

_No, but…he's getting on my nerves. More than usual,_ Sasha said resignedly.

_Tough it out,_ Darkrai said unsympathetically. _We both know he's a good kid deep down, no matter how…odd he can be sometimes. Let him play pirate. He'll be back to his abnormally normal self soon enough._

_Well, if you say so,_ Sasha said reluctantly. _Oh…Master, are the others…_

_All right? Yeah, Lily and Briney are okay. More than okay, actually…but I'll let you find that out for yourself,_ Darkrai said.

Sasha frowned. _What's _that_ supposed to mean?_

_Where's the fun in me telling you in advance? It'll be much more entertaining for you to learn it in person…the look on your face will be priceless!_ Darkrai chortled. _And just _think_ of how Pikachu will take it…_

Sasha sighed. _I've told you I hate it when you act all cryptic, haven't I?_

_Yep,_ Darkrai said.

_And you're not going to stop anytime soon, are you?_ Sasha asked.

_Nope,_ Darkrai said.

_You can be very immature sometimes,_ she grumbled.

_Hey, my wife's been abducted and I can't do anything to save her or stop the bastards responsible other than set a series of events in motion and wait to see how they unfold, _Darkrai said surprisingly seriously. _I have to get my laughs somewhere, don't I?_

…_I suppose,_ Sasha admitted. _And…how _are_ your other plans progressing?_

_Pretty well, but I don't think I should elaborate on those right now,_ Darkrai said. _After all, you don't really need any distractions at the moment._

"Karla, what's taking so long? Come on!" Leo shouted, exasperated at how Sasha had slowed in her bridge crossing to mentally talk to Darkrai.

_Right now, I could use all the distractions I can get,_ Sasha said deadpan. Darkrai laughed.

…

A little later…

After leaving the ravine behind them, Sasha and Leo, still following the signal on their badges, continued their journey across Zero Isle. They frequently tried to make contact with the others to make sure they were all right, and while they were able to get in touch with Ash, Tiny, Pikachu, and Dawn every time, all their attempts to reach Briney and Lily were met with—not silence, but quite a lot of noise, so much noise that it was impossible to tell what was going on or whether or not there was someone on the other end capable of speaking to them. It's possible Briney or Lily might have been trying to get in touch with them too, but wherever they were was too loud for them to be heard properly. The team was reassured when Sasha told them what Darkrai had said to her (although 'Monscrub' was puzzled, worried, and confused as to how 'Karla' had a direct line with the god of death), but their inability to communicate with their friends had all of them on edge, especially Leo, considering…well, who he _thought_ one of them was.

"I _told_ her she shouldn't have come on this adventure," Leo muttered under his breath as they hiked through a small rocky mountain pass, having left the forest for the moment as they continued following the signal from Briney and Lily's badges. The lights on the little device's display indicated the rest of their teammates were not far ahead, so they just had to get to the other side of the mountain and they would be reunited and in a position to save Briney and Lily from their pirate captors. "I told her that it was too dangerous, that she always wound up getting captured—albeit only for a little while—by DeChuck, that we were only playing right into his claws, that she was needed more back on Duel Island…but she wouldn't have any of it. That womon can be so exasperating sometimes…" He sighed. "I wouldn't have it any other way, though."

"So, um…you've been married long, I take it?" Sasha asked awkwardly.

"Yeah, it feels like it's been years…because it has been," Leo said. "Oh, we've had our ups and our downs, and one time I was almost positive she was leaving me for a revivified DeChuck, but it all turned out to be part of an overly complicated scheme that somehow resulted in me defeating him for what looked to be the last time, but clearly wasn't since we're here now to fight him again."

"Right," Sasha said. "And, ah, what will you do with Elayne once you see her again?"

"What any husband does with a wife he's just rescued from dire distress and an evil undead pirate…drink some grog!" Leo said. "Oh, and some hugs and kisses, of course. Maybe a little more. Depends on the mood."

"Ah," Sasha said, feeling even more awkward. Leo thought Lily was his wife. Again and again, this rather worrisome thought revolved around her head. (And it had to be Lily, because for him to think _Briney_ was Elayne would be…she didn't even want to finish that thought.) She, like everyone else, had noticed Leo and Lily were getting somewhat…close ever since they had picked her up in Twilight's Edge. But…for them to become a couple? Well, she supposed there had been _something_ between them, but…she found herself wondering what the results of Leo's current delusions would be on that 'something.' How would Lily feel about apparently being Leo's wife?

And how would she feel if Leo _acted_ on his current delusions?

As Sasha pondered these disturbing thoughts, they came to a fork in the road, the pass split by a large butte jutting from the middle of the trail. "Hmm," Leo muttered. "I wonder which way we should go?" He checked his badge. "Well, the others are just up ahead…so it looks as if it doesn't matter which way the trails go, they both lead to the same place. I think. But…" He trailed off.

"But?" Sasha inquired.

"It's too simple. There's gotta be some trick or puzzle or trap to this," Leo said.

Oddly enough, Sasha agreed. She concentrated for a moment. "You're right," she said. "I sense danger from both paths. No matter which one we pick, it will lead us into trouble."

Leo blinked. "Since when have you been able to sense potential danger?"

"Since always," Sasha said.

"Oh," Leo said, disgruntled. "Could you teach me how to do that?"

"No," Sasha said.

Leo grunted. "Okay," he said. "So, both paths lead to trouble. But we can't go back, and there's no other way we can go, since these cliffs are too steep to climb. So…" He glanced at his companion. "Which path feels the least dangerous to you?"

Sasha frowned thoughtfully. "The one on the left has a high probability but low potentiality, while the one on the right has a low probability but _very_ high potentiality."

"Uh, which means…" Leo prompted.

"The one on the left is more likely to be dangerous, but not very much, while the one on the right is unlikely to be dangerous, but if it is, it's _extremely_ so," Sasha translated.

"Right," Leo said. "Well…then I guess we should take the left path. Even if it means we have a greater chance of running into trouble, it shouldn't be as hard to get out of then it would if we went the other way, no matter how unlikely it is that we'd run into something bad there, right?"

Sasha nodded in agreement. "That seems logical."

And so they took the left fork. And indeed, it wasn't long before they ran into trouble, just as Sasha had predicted. Without warning, a Golem dropped from the cliffs above them, blocking their path. "Ho, travelers! Halt where you stand! I am the trollkeeper of this route, and none shall pass through this pass!"

"But you aren't a troll," Leo pointed out.

"No, but it sounds better than being 'Golemkeeper of this route,'" the Golem admitted.

"It does, at that," Leo agreed.

Sasha growled and stepped forward. "We are in a hurry. Let us pass, or we will make you regret it."

The Golem folded his arms across his chest, or tried to, since they didn't quite reach. "None shall pass!" he repeated.

"Unless?" Leo asked.

The Golem blinked. "Hmm?"

"Come on, I know how these things work. For us to pass, we have to pay a toll or pass some kind of trial, right?" Leo asked.

The Golem nodded, looking pleased. "Ah, so you know the protocol! Good, that saves me some explaining. For you to get past me, you must solve my riddles three. Get any of them wrong, and you shall suffer a terrible fate!"

"Sounds about right. Bring 'em on!" Leo said.

"Le—er, Monscrub, wouldn't it be easier to fight him?" Sasha hissed. "We don't have time to play games!"

"Trust me, Karla, I know what I'm doing," Leo said.

"Like you knew what you were doing back at the quicksand pit and the chasm?" she asked pointedly.

"Yes," Leo said. "Had I been by myself, my methods would have worked fine. Your methods were good, too…but for a situation like this, a little finesse is called for. Leave it to me, I deal with stuff like this all the time. So, big guy, what's the first riddle?"

"Riddle the first: Answer my insult with the proper comeback…This is the END for you, you gutter-crawling cur!" the Golem declared.

Leo smirked. "Ha, give me a hard one, why don't you? This should be a piece of cake for you, right Karla?"

Sasha looked at him in confusion. "Er, how so?"

Leo frowned. "Come on, Karla! You're the Swordmistress of Duel Island! You're a champ at insult swordfighting! Surely you remember how to counter an insult like that!"

"Er…no. I seem to have forgotten that as well," Sasha confessed.

Leo threw up his hands in exasperation. "Oh, for the love of…I told you you should have let me throw something at your head! Ugh, fine, I'll take care of it. Fortunately, _my_ repertoire of insults and comebacks is still completely intact. Ahem: And I've got a little TIP for you, get the POINT?" Sasha grimaced at the terrible pun.

"Correct!" the Golem said. "But can you answer this one? Riddle the second: if a tree falls in the forest, and there is no one there to see it, what color is it?"

"…What?" asked a dumbfounded Sasha.

Leo snorted. "Eazy-peezy. All colors, duh!"

"But…aren't trees-" the bewildered Sasha started.

"ALL. COLORS," Leo repeated loudly. Sasha sweatdropped and subsided. These riddles made no sense to her. Perhaps it would be best to let someone else who also made no sense take care of them…

"Correct!" the Golem said, looking surprised. "Wow, you're good at this. Have you done this sort of thing before?"

"All the time," Leo said with a sigh. "So, what's the last one?"

"This one may be a bit trickier. Riddle the third: bring me…a RED HERRING!" the Golem declared dramatically, his booming voice echoing throughout the pass.

"A what?" Sasha asked.

"A clue or object that is misleading or has been falsified to divert attention," Leo said. "In other words, something that you're supposed to _think_ is important, but actually isn't. Hmm…let me check, I'm pretty sure I have one or two in here somewhere." He pulled his head and arms into his shell and started rummaging for a moment. "Ah, here we are."

He popped back out, holding… "That's the Ford figurine we got from Mt. Battle," Sasha said, surprised to see the miniaturized evil Blaziken again.

"Huh? No, this is the idol I stole from the Battlus coliseum. Mon, was that one heck of an adventure…" Leo reminisced incorrectly. "I took it assuming it was really important, but so far it hasn't been and I doubt it will be, therefore I think it's safe to give away."

"But…" Sasha bit off her comment. Why was she complaining about this? She had no fondness for Ford. The further away he was from her, the better. "Well, all right."

Leo nodded. "Okay. Is this a red enough herring for you?" Leo asked, offering the statuette to the Golem.

The Golem frowned in disappointment. "Actually, I was hoping for a real fish, but I suppose this will do. It'll look nice on the mantelpiece." He took the figurine. "Anyway, now that you've solved my three riddles, you may pass freely." He stepped aside, graciously gesturing down the path.

"Thanks," Leo said, walking past.

"Out of curiosity, what would have happened if we had failed your riddles?" Sasha asked.

"You would have suffered a _terrible fate!_" the Golem said ominously.

"And that would be?" Leo asked.

"I'd have invited you home for dinner," the Golem said.

There was a pause. "Well, that doesn't sound so bad…" Leo said slowly.

"Unless you were planning on eating us?" Sasha asked.

The Golem looked shocked. "What? Of course not, don't be ridiculous! That's just rude! I would never do something like that! What kind of person do you think I am, anyway?"

"Then why is coming over for dinner a terrible fate?" Sasha asked in puzzlement.

"Because my wife is a terrible cook. Why do you think I wanted an actual fish?" the Golem said. Sasha and Leo sweatdropped.

"Uh, well, guess we'll have to leave you to that…" Leo said awkwardly. "We have places to be and wives to rescue."

The Golem nodded. "I gotcha. Is your spouse a bad cook, too?"

"I wouldn't know, we have other people do it for us," Leo said.

The Golem sighed wistfully. "If only we could afford such luxuries…oh well. Good luck on your quest."

"You too, with your dinner," Leo said. They waved goodbye and headed down the pass, leaving the 'trollkeeper' behind. "Well, that wasn't so bad," he commented once they were out of earshot. "I was expecting us to have to undergo several grueling and humiliating challenges to get out of that situation."

"That was amazing," Sasha said, her respect for both Leo and his current alter-ego growing. "How did you know how to do all that?"

"Years of experience traveling the Sevorange Islands and solving wacky puzzles all over the place," Leo said smugly. "While most pirates prefer to solve things with brawn and blade, I'm…not quite as physically endowed as the majority, as you know by now. So I use my wits. I may not be the smartest pirate either, but I have a good instinct for figuring out unique ways to resolve difficult situations. Picking up everything that's not nailed down and putting it together in creative combinations doesn't hurt, either."

"Do you think those skills will help us to save our friends from the undead pirates on this island?" Sasha asked.

"I hope so," Leo said. "And if not…well, that's why I brought backup, right?"

Sasha found herself smiling. "That you did. If we use all our skills together, we should be able to win the day, as we have many times before."

"That and a little root beer should take us a long way," Leo said with a smirk.

They continued on their way, the tension between them significantly reduced and something a lot like understanding beginning to form.

…

A little later…

"There you guys are!" Ash said in relief as Leo and Sasha entered the clearing where he, Tiny, and Pikachu were waiting. "What took you so long?"

"We had to cross quicksand, a chasm, and deal with a riddling trollkeeper," Leo said.

"Monscrub handled himself well in dealing with all three of those," Sasha said.

Leo looked at her in surprise and gratitude. "Um, thanks," the delusional Squirtle said. "So, what did we miss?"

"We all got here a few minutes ago. According to our badges, Lily and Briney are up ahead, but Ash and Tiny's Aura-senses have picked up a ton of undead pirates surrounding them. We've sent Dawn to scout ahead and find out what the situation's like so we can plan a rescue strategy," Pikachu said.

"She should fit right in, what with being a ghost pirate hunter who's recently gotten ninja training," Leo said.

Pikachu stared at him blankly. "…What? Never mind, I don't think I want to know…"

"Probably not," Sasha agreed.

"Well, since we're waiting, I might as well give you guys some things I picked up along the way that I thought you might like," Leo said, reaching into his shell. "Odie, here's a flower." He handed it to the Lucario.

Ash stared at it in confusion. "…What am I supposed to do with this?"

"I dunno, whatever it is you did with all the other flowers you picked that got you thrown in jail," Leo said. Ash stared blankly. "Willy, I knew you'd lose your monocle, so I brought a spare." He handed a monocle to Tiny.

Tiny frowned. "He thinks I'm Willy?"

"Who?" Ash asked.

"A short mapmaker who was abandoned by Monscrub to be blown up when DeChuck's hideout exploded. Twice," Tiny said, somewhat resentful that that was who Leo had chosen, in his current madness, to perceive him as.

"Er, yeah, sorry about that…no hard feelings, right?" Leo said uneasily. "I mean, what are the odds of it happening a third time? Anyway, you should probably put it in, you know you can't see without it."

Glaring at him, Tiny put the monocle over his eye. He paused. "Does this make me look more distinguished?" he asked Ash.

"I think so," Ash said.

"It certainly makes you seem more mature than that pacifier did," Pikachu said.

"Maybe I'll hold onto it, then…" Tiny said.

"Cool! I knew you'd like it!" Leo said, looking relieved. "Oh, and DeGuava, I'm sorry but I couldn't find anything that I thought either you or the Juju Lady would like. Maybe we'll find something in DeChuck's hideout?"

"I'm sure we will, Monscrub," Pikachu managed to say with a straight face. He decided not to ask what a Juju Lady was. "I'm sure we will."

Ash's ears twitched as he sensed something. "Oh look, Dawn's coming back," Ash said in relief, throwing the flower away when nobody was looking.

Dawn noiselessly leapt from a branch and landed before Pikachu, bowing deeply. _I have returned, master._

"Hey Morganna." Leo frowned. "You look a lot more solid than I remember…."

Dawn looked at Leo in confusion. "Ignore him, it's not important," Pikachu said. "What did you find out?"

"Are Briney and Lily okay?" Tiny asked anxiously.

"How many pirates are we dealing with here, and how tough are they?" Ash asked.

_Briney and Lily are unharmed. And as for the pirates…_ Dawn hesitated. _Well…I think this is something you should see for yourselves…_

…

A few minutes later…

The dread crew of the nefarious Captain Barbedo, infamously known as the king of the pirates, was every bit as fearsome and intimidating as you would expect: three dozen humans and Pokemon, the curse that made them immortal doing nothing to preserve their flesh, the skin having rotted off their bones or been picked off by flies centuries ago, leaving them as nothing more but animated skeletons, their skinny forms constantly jangling as their bones rattled against each other. Not a one of the shambling human undead was smaller than five feet tall, so even the shortest of them towered over the heads of Team Aurabolt, the heroic Pokemon staring in awe at these relics of a bygone age and long-dead species (and Ash feeling weird, since he was used to humans being somewhat closer in size compared to himself). The skeletal Pokemon, mainly Water-types due the seafaring nature of their trainers, were all massive as well, each an immense and formidable specimen of their species, their claws and fangs razor-sharp and standing out starkly against their bleached white rib cages and hollow skulls, red lights blazing in the depths of their eye sockets. The pirates were festooned in weapons and what Leo, even in his current state, could easily identify as typical pirate gear: bandanas, striped shirts, necklaces, tricornered hats, longcoats, rings, medallions, skulls and crossbones, lots of belts and bootstraps, crossbows, bombs, and various bladed weapons ranging from cutlasses to rapiers to halberds to axes and even a few spears. Some had hooks, some had peg legs, and some had eye patches, which were a little unnecessary since none of them had eyes anymore anyway, but wore them for the look of it.

These pirates had been the terror of the high seas and ruled the waves two thousand years ago, and looked perfectly capable of doing it again now that the barrier trapping them on Zero Isle had finally been destroyed. There was only one thing that kept them from striking fear into the hearts of the spying Pokemon, one thing that caused the expressions on their faces to be looks of confusion other than dread.

The pirates were having a party. And not the sort of raucous, raunchy, drunken debacle you would expect from scoundrels like them either, but…something that seemed halfway enjoyable and fit for civilized company. Streamers and banners hung from the trees and rocks dotting the white sands of the beach they were currently occupying. Drinks were sipped from coconut-shell cups with little umbrellas in them. A small band was playing a rather jaunty, lively, and not even remotely lewd tune on harpsichord, accordion, and ukulele as many of their fellows, wearing flower necklaces and makeshift sunglasses, danced nearby and a small group of what were _hopefully_ women in grass skirts did a hula on a small stage. Other pirates were playing games such as pin-the-tail on the Ponyta, dart-throwing contests, marco polo, and volleyball, while a small group up on the nearby cliffs shot rockets and cannonballs into the air which exploded into colorful and pretty fireworks. All in all, it wasn't even remotely what any of the heroes had expected to find.

"This isn't even remotely what I expected to find," said a stunned Pikachu.

_I told you you had to see it for yourself,_ Dawn said.

"Either we have the wrong island and the wrong set of undead pirates, or DeChuck's gotten _really_ lax with his crew," Leo said.

"Well…maybe they're just celebrating how excited they are that they can now leave the island they've been trapped on for the last two thousand years and go back to pillaging the seas?" Ash suggested rather doubtfully.

"If that were the case, then would Leo and Briney be celebrating with them?" Tiny asked.

"What!" Everyone looked again, and much to their surprise, saw that Briney and Lily were among the skeletons, and actually looked as if they were having a good time. Briney was wearing a lei and drinking whatever semi-alcoholic beverage they were putting in those coconut cups, and Lily was, much to Leo's horror, dancing with a Gastly, one of the few Ghosts also making up the undead crew. She also had a flower in her hair, which only made things worse because it meant someone had to have given it to her…and she had to have accepted it. "What does Elayne think she's doing? Did DeChuck brainwash her or something?" the confused Squirtle cried.

"If he did, he'd have to brainwash Briney too, which I don't think is possible," Ash said.

"Maybe it's a trap? Everything looks pleasant, but they're just trying to get us to drop our guard and lure us in?" Pikachu suggested.

"Then why don't their Auras seem…evil?" Tiny asked, closing his eyes briefly to scan the skeletons. "Then again, I'm still new to this, so…"

"No, you're right, they're not evil," said the equally perplexed Ash. "They've been touched by it, and were bad in the past, but now? Not so much."

"Additionally, I do not sense any danger from them," Sasha said. "If they chose to attack us, yes, we might be in trouble, but the chances of that happening right now do not seem likely at the moment."

Pikachu's eye started twitching. "If that's so…then those two had better have a DAMN good reason for scaring us and causing us to rush to their rescue for nothing…"

_Sorry, lads, it was all a bit of a misunderstanding,_ Briney's familiar voice echoed in their heads. (Except for Sasha and Dawn, naturally.)

"Ack! There's a voice in my head!" Leo shouted in alarm.

"Briney? What the hell is going on here? We thought you guys were in trouble!" Pikachu said angrily.

"It certainly sounded like it when you called us for help a few hours ago," Ash said.

"And since we haven't been able to reach you since then, we assumed the worst. What's going on?" Tiny asked.

_Like I said, it was a bit of a…misunderstanding,_ Briney said Mareepishly. T_he pirates you see here? The dread crew of Barbedo, the most fearsome sea Houndooms to ever sail the oceans? Yeah, they've reformed._

There was a long pause. "…They've WHAT?" Pikachu demanded.

"Who's done what? You have to remember that we can't hear what he's telling you!" said the annoyed Sasha.

_I'm getting rather tired of always missing half the conversation with that one,_ said an irritated Dawn.

"Fishhook, since when were you psychic?" Leo moaned. "I am _so_ confused…"

"The pirates are _reformed?_" Ash asked, getting them back on subject.

_Yeah. Came as a bit of a surprise to me, too. I was expecting them to be ornery, hateful, loathsome monsters due to being cooped up on this island for two thousand years. And it turns out they were for a while. Then they got bored of that and sort of…mellowed out, mainly because they had nothing better to do,_ Briney said. _So they pretty much gave up all hope of ever leaving the island and settled down to live in relative peace with each other. Or at least, as peaceful as pirates can EVER get._

"Yeah, tell me about it," Leo said. "Elayne's Governor of the Tri-Island area and all the pirates who live there…it is _not_ an easy job, let me tell you that much."

…_Er, right. Anyway, when we brought the barrier down, they were surprised, then really excited, because it meant they could finally see the outside world again,_ Briney continued. _While I suppose a few of them might want to go back to their old ways of pillage and plunder, for the most part they're so glad that they can actually LEAVE they don't really care about doing that sort of thing anymore._

"…Well, I guess it's possible for even the worst people to have a change of hearts sometimes," Ash admitted. "I mean, it happened to Master Yamiri, right?"

"But if they were so 'peaceful,' why did they attack you and Lily?" Pikachu asked.

_They, uh, didn't actually. You see, when they saw us, the first outside Pokemon to set foot on this island in millennia, they got excited and sent a welcoming committee to greet us and thank us for liberating them. But Lily and me sort of took it the wrong way, thought they were trying to kill us, and…well, you can figure the rest,_ Briney said awkwardly.

Everyone who could hear the Metang sweatdropped. "You've got to be kidding me…" Pikachu groaned.

"What is he not kidding about? Will someone please explain what's going on?" asked the exasperated Sasha. Nobody did.

"If they weren't really attacking you, then what was that big explosion we heard earlier?" Tiny asked.

_Well, since we were panicking and misconstruing their intentions, they panicked too and, well…blasted us with a big cannon,_ Briney said. _They were rather apologetic about it afterwards, but by that point we were at their little beach party here and they managed to explain things to us properly. We apologized and told them our bit, and said that you'd be coming after us. They've been waiting for you. They want to meet you all too._

"Ah," Ash said.

"Well, if they're friendly pirates, I guess I wouldn't mind meeting them too…" Leo said. He frowned. "But then where the heck is DeChuck?"

"Forget DeChuck. Why didn't either of you contact us to let us know that you were okay?" Pikachu asked angrily. "We were really worried about you!"

_We tried to!_ Briney sighed defensively._ But there was always too much noise on our end to hear you when you tried to call us, or for us to legibly reply. We asked them to tone it down a bit, but…well, they're pirates. They don't know HOW to 'tone it down.' And we were going to go off to a quieter spot to make our calls, but then Lily kept getting roped into dances, and the other pirates kept giving me drinks and challenging me to tests of strength, and there was no way I could back down from something like that! No pirate, retired or otherwise, alive or undead, has what it takes to beat Captain Briney!_

Ash, Pikachu, Leo, and Tiny sighed. "You really need to do something about that pride of yours…" Ash commented.

_What pride? I'm simply acknowledging the fact that I'm the toughest mon who's ever sailed the seas! So far I haven't encountered anyone who can counter that claim, hence why I feel justified in calling myself the best,_ Briney said.

"What about Kyogre?" Tiny asked.

…_She got lucky,_ Briney grumbled. They rolled their eyes.

"Why is my wife dancing with so many other people?" Leo demanded, alarmed to see the size of the rather large group of male skeletons jostling each other for a chance to dance with Lily next.

"She _does_ seem to be awfully popular with them, doesn't she?" Pikachu murmured.

_Well, it's not like they exactly have many females here,_ Briney said. _They're always happy to see a fresh face, even if it's…well, not that pretty._

"Hey! Are you calling my wife ugly?" Leo demanded.

_Er…_

"Briney, I don't suppose there's anything you can do about him?" Ash asked, gesturing at Leo. "The pirate thing's getting a little old."

_Bring him to me, and I'll Mind Crush him back to normal. It's too risky a technique to do long-distance, I could wind up smashing his brain by accident,_ Briney said.

Leo blanched. "What are you talking about and why are you suggesting somebody crush my brain?"

"You'll thank us later. Probably," Pikachu said.

"Speaking of minds…Captain, you're psychic. Why didn't you know the pirates were good guys now?" Tiny asked.

…_Kid, take a look at them! They're skeletons! They don't have any brains in their heads, there's nothing there for me to read!_ Briney said.

"Then how can they think at all?" asked a confused Ash.

_The hell should I know? It's magic or something,_ Briney said.

"And is magic how they were able to understand you? Since I assume they could, considering you said you were able to explain things to each other," Pikachu said.

_No, that's because they've been here so long they were always looking for new things to do. Learning Pokemon language was one of them,_ Briney said. _They've got a pretty bad accent, but I think it's better than you'd expect from a human._

"I used to be human, you know," Ash said pointedly.

_And how well did you understand your Pokemon back in the day?_ Briney asked.

"Pretty well," Ash said.

_What about that time when Pikachu announced that he had impregnated Dawn's Buneary and wanted your blessing, and you thought he was asking for lunch?_ Briney asked.

Ash blanched. "_That's_ what he was saying?"

"Wait, I _what?_" cried a horrified Pikachu.

"Will somebody please explain what's going on? I'm so confused," Leo groaned.

_Join the club, _Dawn clicked. _Master, what did Briney say that bothered you?_

"Um…I…it's…it's nothing," Pikachu stammered, face turning red as he tried very hard not to look at his puzzled vassal and future bride.

"What does 'impregnate' mean?" Tiny asked.

"That is something your father will tell you one day," Sasha said.

"Oh," Tiny said, looking disappointed.

_Anyway, that's neither here nor there. Now that you're here, you should come down and join the party. I'll tell Lily you all are here,_ Briney said.

"Sounds good to me," Leo said, relieved that he'd soon be reunited with his wife and she would no longer be spending so much time with other, more masculine mons.

"Is now the right time to be partying? While I'm as happy as everyone else to know we aren't going to have to fight a bunch of immortal undead pirates, we can't forget that we're shipwrecked, the Nihilators are after us, and we need to find the next Star Badge before they do," Pikachu pointed out.

_No problem. The pirates have the Star,_ Briney said.

"And are willing to give it up?" Ash asked.

There was a telling hesitation before Briney answered. _Wellll…they say we'll have to talk to the captain about that…_

"As in Captain Barbedo, the pirate king and most notorious seaman who ever lived?" Pikachu asked. "Has _he_ decided to mellow out, too?"

_Er…not as such, no…look, just come down already, will you? It's hard to talk to you at this distance and drink my milkshake at the same time,_ Briney said.

"Milkshakes? Where do you get milk on an isolated tropical island like this?" Ash asked.

…_You REALLY don't want to know,_ Briney said.

Tiny frowned. "I thought milk came from bottles."

"Yes, but it gets into the bottles by being extracted and distilled from a liquid produced by the udders of a Miltank," Leo said.

"Assuming it's not produced for a child by its mother via their own 'udders,' in yet another of the processes Ash is going to have to explain to you eventually," Sasha said.

Tiny's mind boggled at this. "And…do _you_ have udders?"

"They are called nipples actually, and yes, I have eight of them," Sasha said.

"OKAY, that's more information than we really needed to know," Ash shouted. "I think I'd rather deal with pirates, reformed or otherwise, than talk about where milk comes from. Or how many nipples Sasha has."

"Actually, I think your mother might have the same amount, if not more-" Sasha started.

"WE ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT THIS NOW," Ash said loudly.

_Glad to hear it! So just come on out and we can see about fixing Leo's brain and getting that Star Badge,_ Briney said.

"But there's nothing wrong with my brain…is there?" Leo asked. Nobody answered him.

"So, what, we just come out? Just like that?" Ash asked.

"They'll be okay with us showing up unannounced and out of the blue?" Pikachu said.

_I told them you'd show up sooner or later. They've been expecting you. No need to be formal. Just come down to the beach and say 'hello.' Simple as that,_ Briney said.

"Well…all right. You may have a weird sense of humor, but you wouldn't lie about something like this," Ash said. "So…ready, guys?"

"Yes," Pikachu said, hand on his sword, just in case he needed it.

"All right," Sasha said.

"Sure," said Tiny.

_If we must_, Dawn said.

"I wonder if Marty the Demonic Skull is here too?" Leo wondered. They ignored him.

Ash took a deep breath. "Okay…then let's do this. And Leo…er, Monscrub? Keep that root beer handy in case we need it, okay?"

Leo nodded. "Sure thing, Odie. Though…to be honest, I've only ever used it on _ghost_ pirates. I'm not sure it works on skeletons."

Ash stared at him for a long moment. "…And you only bring this up _now?_ Ugh, never mind…come on, let's go…" They stepped out of the jungle and onto the beach.

The response was not instantaneous. At first, most of the pirates were too busy partying to notice the arrival of their new guests. But then one spotted them and nudged a friend, who nudged another friend, and another and another and so on until everyone was suddenly aware that they had visitors. All the action and music stopped, as several dozen pairs of ominous glowing eyes stared at Team Aurabolt from sun-bleached skulls. And for a split second, the heroes feared that they had made a mistake…

Until the pirates threw up their arms in delight and cheered. They rushed the heroes, who tensed as they were engulfed by a mass of bony arms and claws and other appendages, which…hung leis around their necks, shoved coconut cups into their hands, and tried to lift them onto their shoulders, but only succeeded with Dawn and Pikachu, since they were the lightest. Leo was rather miffed when one rather burly skeleton tried to lift him up, grunted, set him down, and wiped some imaginary sweat from his brow. Had he really put on that much weight? Elayne had put him on a very strict diet recently…though he _had _been sneaking some kudzu pretzels from the SLIME bar whenever he got the chance, but surely those hadn't put that much fat on him, had they?

The happy partygoing pirates pushed and carried the somewhat bewildered and overwhelmed Pokemon over to a rather skinny skeleton with a pronounced underbite and a bony Chatot on his shoulder, gibbering and chattering gleefully about how excited they were to meet them and how they hoped they would have a good time and other things that they couldn't quite make out due to everyone talking at once and their voices being marred by a rather thick mix of accents originally from a variety of different nations and ethnicities boiled down into a near-incomprehensible mulatto peppered with nautical jargon and slang that had probably been outdated even when they had started using it two thousand years ago. "Greetings, Team Aurabolt!" the Chatot squawked, spreading her wings. "We have been expecting ye! Welcome to the Zero Isle tropical resort and beach club! We hope ye will find yer stay pleasant, as we will do everythin' in our power to make sure ye have an enjoyable experience. It is the least we can do to ye who finally ended our two thousand years of imprisonment!"

"Um, thanks?" Ash said uncertainly.

"A beach club? It wouldn't happen to be the ultra-exclusive kind that only lets in snobby super-rich pirates and won't let you even touch the towels if you're not a member, is it?" Leo asked suspiciously.

"I guess ye could say that, considering we're the only people who've ever used it, but since we're the only people on the island…" the skinny skeleton said with a shrug.

"We ran into a Golem in the mountain pass," Sasha said.

"Oh yeah, but we hardly count that guy. He never comes down to these parts. Says he don't like water or someutt like that," a Walrein said.

"Which makes no sense to me, because if ye don't like water, what in blazes are ye doing living on an island in the first place?" a human (formerly) pirate commented. His fellows chuckled and nodded in agreement.

"But in any event, as the first outsiders to set foot on our island in over two thousand years-" the Chatot started.

"What about our friends Briney and Lily, whom you've already run into?" Sasha asked.

"They don't have feet," the Chatot's mount pointed out.

"Ah," Sasha said.

"Like I was saying…ye can enjoy what luxuries we have free of charge as thanks for destroying the barrier…unless of course ye'd be having some treasure on ye? We haven't had any new stuff in ages," the Chatot asked, a slightly greedy look in her eyes.

"No, nope, no treasure here," Leo said loudly.

"What about those things on your badges? They look like diamonds," a Kingler said.

"Plastic," Ash lied quickly.

The pirate frowned. "Ye sure? I think I know a diamond when I see it…"

"When's the last time you've seen a diamond that wasn't part of your treasure horde?" Ash asked.

Pikachu nodded. "Yeah, a lot has changed in the last two thousand years."

"Point," the pirate admitted grudgingly.

"And we would love to hear all about _how_ it's changed," the human the Chatot was sitting on said. "Is it true that the human race is extinct, exceptin' for us and that Lucario ye've got there who thinks he used to be a human?"

"Pretty much. Guess Briney told you about that," Ash said.

"Ye don't _look_ much like a human," an ex-human said suspiciously.

"Neither do you," Ash pointed out.

"Touche," the pirate said grudgingly.

"Well, I suppose that explains the big shake-up that happened about a thousand years back…it didn't really affect us much, but we thought the world was coming to an end!" the Chatot said.

"Which, technically, it did," her mount said. "Except it got better. Convenient, that." He sighed. "Other then us being trapped here for another thousand years…"

Leo blinked. "The world ended a thousand years ago? When did this happen?"

"A thousand years ago?" Sasha said.

"That's…" Leo paused. "Well, yes, that answers my question, but not quite in the way I had expected or hoped."

"But if you hadn't been trapped here and the world had ended for real, wouldn't you be drifting helplessly in outer space?" Tiny asked.

"Space? Yes. Drifting helplessly? Heh, not with _our_ ship," a Golduck said smugly, much to their puzzlement.

"Not to mention air's not really an issue for us anymore. We could've become space pirates or something," a human said wistfully. "Sailed the stars and all that."

"But now we can sail the regular seas again, which is just as good," the Chatot mount said. The other pirates nodded in agreement.

"And what exactly will you _do_ on the seas now that you can sail them again?" Pikachu asked anxiously.

"Eh, we don't know. We're kind of out of practice when it comes to the pillaging and raiding thing," the Chatot said, much to the relief of everyone else. "It doesn't hold quite the same luster that it used to, especially after two thousand years going cold Combusken. I think we'd rather explore this new world and see what wonders there are to see. After that…well, we'll think of somethin'. We've got plenty of time. All the time in the world, ye might say."

"Lit'rally," her mount said.

"Thank you for your hospitality. We're happy and grateful that you're being so generous to us," Ash said.

"It's a bit more than we expected, to be honest…" Pikachu said.

"That's understandable. If you'd met us back in the day, when we were somethin' to be afeared of, we'd've strung you up and used yer gizzards for garters," a Prinplup said. "But we don't do that anymore," he said quickly when the heroes looked at him in alarm.

"Oh, good," Leo said faintly.

"Thank goodness," Sasha said blandly.

"Anyway, I be Ear-biter Molly, the leader of this motley community," the Chatot said. "And this lug I'm sitting on be me husband, Fat Pete."

There was a long, long silence as they processed this information. "Your…husband?" Pikachu asked finally, his eye twitching frantically as his brain came close to crashing. "But…but how…_how-"_

"Fat Pete," Ash said quickly, frantically latching onto another thread of discussion like a drowning mon clutching a life preserver. "Is that one of those ironic names?"

"Like mine?" Tiny asked, eager for the change of subject.

"But your name is Willy. What's ironic about that?" Leo asked. Tiny ignored him.

Fat Pete sighed wistfully. "No, I actually used to be _very_ fat…but then I died, and me skin fell off me bones. On the plus side, I've lost a ton of weight, and no longer have to worry about obesity-related health problems, so all's good, aye?"

Dawn frowned. _Wait…_Molly _is the leader? Aren't they Barbedo's pirates?_

"What's all that clicking for?" asked a confused pirate.

"Is she trying to snap a jazzy tune? If so, I'm not feeling it," another said.

"She's mute, and that's her way of communicating," Pikachu explained. "She asked if you were Barbedo's pirates. I thought he was your leader."

There was an awkward pause. Molly fidgeted. "We…don't really see much of the Captain these days."

"While we sorta grew to accept our fate and tried to make the most of our afterlives here, the Cap'n went into a black mood and holed himself up in our treasure grotto with the ship and his mate Polly," Pete said. "So we're in charge until he gets over his funk."

"When you say 'mate,' do you mean friend or…" Ash trailed off.

"Friend," Molly said. "What'd ye think I meant?"

"Oh, good," Ash said in relief.

"How long has he been in there?" Sasha asked.

"About seven hundred years or so, give or take," Pete said.

"Wow," said the impressed Leo. "Talk about a badass angster."

"And this would be the notorious Barbedo, the evilest and nastiest pirate who ever lived, who also happens to possess the Star Badge that's animating you guys which _we _need to save the world, who we're going to have to talk to if we ever want to _see_ that badge?" Pikachu asked.

"Yep," said Molly.

"And would I also be correct in assuming that Barbedo, unlike the rest of you, isn't quite so willing to let go of the old violent pirate ways and would be more interested in fighting than talking this whole thing over?" Pikachu continued.

"Right on the noggin," Pete said.

Pikachu sighed. "Why am I not surprised?"

"Don't look so glum, lad…we're at a party! And besides, between the eight of us, I'm sure we can take him," Briney said as he floated over, a drink in one hand.

"There you are, Briney! Where were you? We've been here for a few minutes already!" Ash said.

"I started to head over as soon as word spread about your arrival, but I had to finish my drink first, and then some idiot challenged me to a limbo contest. Ha! I showed him how low _he_ could go, sure enough," Briney said.

The others sweatdropped. _Fair enough,_ said Dawn. _But then where's Lily?_

Briney shrugged. "She has a rather insistent dance partner…I'm sure she'll work her way over here when she gets the chance. In the meantime, now that we're all together again—more or less—let's see about fixing Leo's brain, shall we?" He paused, a frown on his face. "Where is Leo, anyway?"

"Huh? What do you mean, he's right…" Tiny trailed off when he suddenly realized that Leo had vanished. "Here…"

The others looked around in alarm. The Squirtle had disappeared without a trace. "Oh no…" Pikachu groaned.

"Why do I have a bad feeling about this?" Sasha wondered.

"Because you can predict disasters?" Ash said.

"Other than that," Sasha said.

At that moment, the delusional Squirtle in question was making his way towards Lily, who was having some difficulty getting away from the pirate Duskull she was dancing with. "I really should be going," the Misdreavus insisted. "My friends are here, and I need to go to them."

"Oh come on, surely they can wait a little longer, luv," the Duskull said. "And besides, ye can't leave now, this dance isn't over yet! And ye're having fun, aren't you?"

"Well…I suppose I am," Lily admitted. "This _is _the first time I've ever danced with anyone…Mother always said nobody would ever want to, because I was too ugly."

"Well, just goes to show she didn't know nothin', now did she?" the Duskull said. As Lily tried to make sense of the double negatives, he continued to say, "I'd say ye're one of the prettiest lasses this eye has seen in many a moon…and I like the tattoo."

"It's actually a curse mark indicating that I am bound eternally to the fallen god Giratina, who upon my death will use my tortured soul to break free from her prison and wreak vengeance upon the worlds that banished her," Lily said.

"Cool," the Duskull said.

Lily looked at him in alarm. "You think curses are cool?"

"Well, _we're _all cursed, and we seem to be doing pretty well for ourselves, ain't we lads?" the Duskull called to some of his friends, who laughed and nodded in agreement.

"Well…that may be true for you, but-" Lily started.

"Oh quit worrying, this is a party! Relax, let go…and give us a kiss, mayhaps?" the Duskull asked suggestively.

Lily blinked. "A kiss?"

"Hey, get your ectoplasmic tendrils off her, you creep!" Leo shouted, rushing over.

"Oh, Leo! There you are!" Lily cried, relieved to see her friend.

"Get in line, bucko, I was here first! Ye can have a go with her after I'm done!" the Duskull said in annoyance.

"I'm her husband, asshole! That means I _always_ get the first dance!" Leo shouted, taking out a spray bottle full of root beer and squirting a concentrated blast of the brown carbonated beverage into the Duskull's face.

"Aaaugh! Me eye! Me eye!" the Duskull screamed in pain, clutching his face as the root beer caused it to start dissolving in a gruesome manner. "Get him! Avenge me, maties!"

"Eh, don't really feel like it," one of his fellows said.

"That's what you get for messing with a married womon, idjit!" another pirate called. The others burst into laughter.

Lily frowned in puzzlement. "But…I'm not-"

"Elayne, are you all right? Did that jerk hurt you?" Leo asked in concern.

"Huh? Oh, no, I was actually having a good time, though he seemed rather insistent I not join you just yet…and why are you calling me Elayne?" Lily asked in confusion.

"I'm so glad you're all right, even if you've inexplicably lost your accent again…you have no idea how worried I was!" Leo said, ignoring her question.

Lily smiled. "You were? Oh…I'm sorry to have troubled you. I'm glad you're all right, too. Let's try to stick together in the future, okay?"

"I never want to leave your side again," Leo said, staring at Lily with a weird look in his eyes. "Horrible and bizarre things seem to happen to us every time we're apart."

"Horrible and bizarre things seem to happen to us every time we're together, too," Lily pointed out.

"Yes…but together, it's much easier to bear," Leo said.

Lily blushed. "Thank you, Leo. I'm glad you feel that way, too."

"I love you so much, Elayne," Leo said. "I think I would die if anything happened to you. Again, that is."

Lily blinked. "Wait, what-" She was cut off when Leo pressed his lips against hers.

The pirates in the immediate vicinity stopped what they were doing and watched in bemusement and fascination as the two Pokemon kissed. "Ooooh," they said.

"Get a room!" someone else yelled.

"My face is melting off! Somebody help me!" the Duskull yelled.

It was at that point that the rest of Team Aurabolt, along with Molly and Fat Pete, arrived on the scene. "Ooh, looks like someone's getting some action!" Pete said giddily.

"Oh crud," Ash said.

"Whoa," said Tiny.

"Wow. And I didn't even have to do anything," said a surprised Briney.

_Not this time, anyway,_ Dawn said, recalling how Briney had forced her and Pikachu to kiss. Not that she was entirely complaining about that, mind…

"I was certain it would happen sooner or latter, but I didn't think it would be _this_ soon," Sasha commented.

"That's because he's not in his right mind right now! Does he even realize what he's doing?" a horrified Pikachu cried.

Leo didn't, actually…at least, not until they parted for breath (well, he needed to part for breath, Lily didn't need air) and Leo's sanity, catalyzed by kissing his crush, decided to choose that moment to snap back into place. _Holy crap,_ he thought, shocked. _Did I just do what I think I did?_

Lily blinked, slightly dazed. "Huh," she said. She licked her lips, the taste of Leo's mouth still fresh in her mind. "What was that? It was rather pleasant."

"It…it was a kiss," Leo said faintly.

Lily frowned. "A kiss? But…aren't kisses something you only give to people that you're in love with?"

"Um…yeah, pretty much," Leo said.

Lily stared at him for a long moment. Her face went pale. "Then…does that mean _you-_"

"Lily, it's not what you think!" Ash said quickly.

"Leo wasn't in his right mind then, he thought you were someone else!" Sasha added.

"He believed he was a video game character, and that you were that character's wife, he didn't mean anything by it," Pikachu said. "He's not actually-"

"No," Leo interrupted. "Thanks but no thanks, guys. I'm not like Pikachu or Ash. I'm not blind to my own feelings. What happened just now was because I thought that I was Monscrub Fourplank and Lily was his wife, Elayne…but that doesn't mean anything, because given the chance, I probably would have done it anyway. Yes Lily, I am in love with you. I'm pretty sure I am, anyway."

"You're…you love…" Lily stammered, staring at Leo in shock and disbelief. "I…I don't…I don't know how to deal with this…I-" Her face flushed and her mind reeled at this abrupt revelation. How could Leo possibly love her? There was nothing about her _worth_ loving, was there?

And it was because of her self-loathing, the ingrained belief her mother had driven into her after three centuries of torment and suffering that she had no value or worth as an (un)living being other than being the key to Giratina's release that-despite the best efforts of her friends, had not been completely dislodged from her soul-an awful thought occurred to her, one that she found all too easy to believe. "Wait a moment. Then does that mean all the time we've spent together…all the talks and lessons and things we've shared…was that part of some attempt to seduce me? To make me love you? To…to have _sex_ with you? Or maybe even take advantage of my familial ties to the Draconian Empire, to get the sort of riches and power you've often expressed an interest in?"

"What? No! Of course not! What kind of guy do you think I am, Lily?" Leo asked, appalled. "I would _never_ do something like that!" Or would he, he wondered suddenly, a sick feeling forming in his gut. Wasn't that what he had been doing all along?

"Wouldn't you? You said you watch porn. You're fine with the idea of sex. And you know so much about so many things…things I understand very little of. And you've said many times you desire power and immortality! How do I know that's not the sort of thing you would do?" Lily demanded.

Leo recoiled as if stung. "Is that really what you think of me?" he asked, hurt.

"I…no, that isn't…I mean…" Lily squeezed her eyes shut, teeth clenched as if in pain. "I don't…I don't know what to believe anymore. I want to trust you, but…"

"Lily…" Leo whispered, reaching out to her.

"Don't touch me!" she snapped, pulling back. "I'm sorry, Leo," she apologized when she saw how hurt he looked. "I just…I need to think about this. I need some time on my own. I…I need…" She bit her lip. "I need to figure out how _I_ feel…"

She faded away. Leo sagged, a look of heartbreak and utter despair on his face. "Lily…"

Nobody spoke for a long moment. Pirate and teammate alike stared at the distraught Squirtle. "That did not go the way I had hoped it would," Briney said finally.

Sasha sighed in agreement. "It certainly could have gone better…"

"If Nuken gets word of this, Leo's dead," Pikachu said morosely. "I can't imagine he'll be happy to hear someone stole his daughter's first kiss and freaked her out this badly…"

_Then I will make sure not to tell him about it,_ Dawn said. Pikachu looked at her in surprise. _What? I never said I have to report absolutely _everything_ to him. He's not my only master, after all._

"…Thanks, Dawn," Pikachu said, a look of relief on his face. She smiled and said nothing. "Um…if someone were to ever tell you _they_ loved you…how would you react?"

…_It depends on the person,_ Dawn said finally. _I probably would not act the way Lily did._

"No?" Pikachu asked.

_No. I might slit their throats right on the spot,_ Dawn said. Pikachu blanched. _But like I said,_ she continued, glancing at him shyly. _It depends on the person._

"…Right. Of course," Pikachu said. He frowned, wondering why he'd even bothered asking this question in the first place. Maybe it was because, according to his mother, they were due to be married at some point in the future…

"Is that why you haven't asked Misty to marry you yet, Daddy? Because you were afraid something like that would happen?" Tiny asked Ash.

"Tiny, I'm not…" Ash sighed. "Never mind." He wasn't ready to acknowledge that Tiny might be right. Not yet.

"Er…so…" Fat Pete coughed. "Guess this mean's the party's over, huh?"

Molly sighed and nodded in agreement. "'Fraid so, Petey."

"My face! Somebody help my face!" the Duskull screamed.

…

Meanwhile, off the shore of Zero Island…

"Papa, we've located Team Aurabolt and think we have a lead on the Star Badge," the spy reported to the Supreme Admiral.

"_Excellent. Can you move in?"_ the Admiral asked.

"Well, we could, but…we're sort of outnumbered," the spy said.

"_Outnumbered? There's eight of them and dozens of you!" _the Admiral said.

"Eight of Team Aurabolt. They seem to have made some new friends," the spy said.

"_Friends? What kind of…friends?"_ the Admiral asked.

"A large crew of undead immortal skeleton pirates," the spy said.

"…_What,"_ the Admiral said flatly.

"A crew of-" the spy started.

"_I heard you the first time!"_ the Admiral snapped. _"Hmm, so those legends are true after all…very well, stand down for the time being. I'll be there shortly with the rest of the fleet, and once we get there…nothing, not even immortal undead pirates, will be able to save Team Aurabolt, and _Ash_, from what's coming to them!"_

…

Meanwhile, in Kanjohenn…

The land and sky surrounding Mt. Blaze had been turned into a warzone. Draconian soldiers clashed with the barbarian horde on the plains and slopes and lava fields surrounding the volcano, weapons and claws and fangs and flames and energy blasts of various elemental types tearing into each other's hide, rending armor, splitting scales, and ripping flesh apart. Blood soon stained the charred earth, dragons and monkeys each giving as good as they got.

The skies were no less chaotic. The smoky clouds hovering over the wasteland were tinged red from the explosions and gouts of flame which blasted through the air, Draconian flyers and airships clashing against the horde's sole air force, a surprisingly large group of rogue Charizard, while anti-air artillery bombarded them with massive fireballs and energy blasts from below.

"This is insane!" Latios yelled as he frantically swerved about to dodge the fireballs lobbed at them from below.

"It's war!" Rayquaza shouted back, clinging so tightly to Latios's reins that if he had had knuckles, they would have been white. "What did you expect?"

"I didn't think it would be this brutal!" Latios admitted, looking in shock as a pretty Flygon he'd flirted with earlier was suddenly knocked out of the sky, her wings burning to cinders as the Charizard that had gotten in a lucky hit roared triumphantly. "I thought we'd just waltz in and crush them as easy as that!"

"War is never easy," Rayquaza said sadly. "And it's never pretty, either. All we can hope for is that at the end, they will have more dead than we."

"How could you have gone along with this, knowing that you might lose so many of your subjects? They're ridiculously loyal to you!" Latios accused angrily. "They would throw their lives away for you! Abyss, they're doing it now!"

"Why do you think I'm here on the battlefield, rather than watching from the safety of Sky Pillar or Pokemon Square?" Rayquaza retorted. "I am here so that I will bear witness to and never forget the sacrifices my people have made in my name…and so that they will know I respect and honor their struggles, and am willing to risk my life just as they risk theirs! They do not fight for me simply because they believe me to be their god and sovereign…they fight because they know their lives mean something to me! _That_ is what a true leader does!"

Latios was stunned into silence briefly by this mighty declaration. Finally he said, "You know, it's when you say things like that that I start to understand what my sister sees in you. If you acted like this more often, rather than always being self-conscious and doubting yourself…I might actually start respecting you."

"…I appreciate that, Latios. Thank you," Rayquaza said gratefully.

"I said I might _start_ respecting you, I'm not quite there yet," Latios said. He spread his wings and started flying towards the enemy Charizard, who had not yet noticed them because he was about to attack an Aerodactyl who was giving some of his brethren some trouble from behind. The fiery dragon noticed, however, when Latios's body lit up and transformed into a sphere of light which rammed into him with Luster Purge, shattering every bone in his body and sending him plummeting to his death with a long howl of agony. The Aerodactyl heard the scream and glanced over its shoulder in surprise, realizing how close it had been to defeat. It squawked in thanks to its savior and King and finished off the other Charizard it was fighting with Hyper Beam.

"A nice hit," Rayquaza praised Latios, squinting and rubbing at his eyes. "A bit hard on the eyes, though."

"Sorry," Latios apologized. "I forgot for a second you were on my back."

"You can use that attack again if you must, but try and give me some warning first, please?" Rayquaza asked.

"All right," Latios said, surprised to find that he actually meant it. He frowned when he saw that, although they had avenged the Flygon and rescued the Aerodactyl, many more dragons were still fighting and falling around them. "You said that your subjects would give up their lives for you…I, for one, would like to make sure as few of them have to do that as possible."

"As would I," Rayquaza said. "I take it we're entering the fray, then?"

"Got a problem with that?" Latios asked.

Rayquaza smirked. "Not at all, I'll try to keep my head down. I doubt Nuken, the generals, or my bodyguards will be happy about this, but…I don't see them at the moment, do you?"

"Nope," Latios said, starting to grin. "So let's do as much as we can before they catch up with us and give us an earful!"

"We should have plenty of time," Rayquaza said as he and Latios rode off to join the fight. "After all, this is war. Do you know how hard it is to pick a single combatant out of hundreds of others in the middle of a pitched battle?"

"Wouldn't the distinctive armor we're wearing make it easier to spot us?" Latios asked.

"Who's got time to be looking specifically for us when they're trying to keep their eyes on their enemies?" Rayquaza countered.

"Heh, good point. All right, let's go kick some tail!" Latios said.

"You don't have any legs to kick them with," Rayquaza pointed out.

"Who needs legs when you've got Psychic powers? And not too long ago, you didn't have any either," Latios reminded Rayquaza.

"How true," Rayquaza chuckled. "Very well! To battle! And making sure more of the enemy dies than our own forces!"

"That's the spirit!" Latios said.

Neither of them was aware that Nuken had been watching them the whole time, fully aware of what they were doing. "Hmm…on the one hand, I'm not happy His Majesty is sticking his neck out like this…but on the other hand, it will increase morale, and it seems to be allowing him and Latios to bind. What should I do about this?"

"Die, insect!" a Charizard roared as it glided towards Nuken, firing a Blast Burn at him.

"Hmm?" Nuken turned, regarding the flames more with annoyance than alarm as they rushed towards and engulfed him.

"Ha! Scratch one worthless bug…eh?" The Charizard blinked in confusion as the flames subsided, and the Shedinja's charred husk vanished in a puff of smoke. "What the…a Substitute? But where did he-"

"Ahem," Nuken said from right behind the Flame Pokemon's head.

The Charizard started in horror. "How did you-"

"This is the part where you die," Nuken said calmly.

"Huh? What are you talking-" The Charizard was cut off when abruptly several hundred gashes on his body that hadn't been there a second ago burst open, spewing ludicrous amounts of blood everywhere and splattering Nuken's hide in crimson. He watched in amusement as the Charizard, dead almost as once from exsanguination, fell away.

"Scratch one barbarian fool," the Shedinja mused to himself. He scanned the area for Latios and Rayquaza. He spotted them several hundred meters away, leading a phalanx of Ghosts and Dragons against a rather large flight of Charizard. The phalanx had been faring poorly initially, but the arrival of their king and his surprisingly powerful steed had helped them regroup and turn the tide against the orange reptiles. "Hmm…they seem to be doing well so far. I suppose I could allow them to continue like this for a while longer. It's having a positive effect on the troops, and besides…I can't have _all_ the fun, can I?"

"Die, draconian scum!" another Charizard yelled as it soared towards him.

Nuken sighed in exasperation and made a small gesture with one talon. The barbarian was instantly sliced in half, the two pieces hitting another group of Charizard below and stunning them long enough for the Salamence they had been fighting to rip them apart. "Then again, it isn't much fun killing such weaklings as these…oh well. Perhaps the next generation will be more of a challenge, since we're doing the gene pool a favor by wiping out these buffoons. Assuming, of course, any of the enemy _survives…_"

While Latios and Rayquaza had started participating more actively in the battle and Nuken was happily going around killing people, the contingent from Pokemon Square and the Draconian troops who would be accompanying them on their mission made their way across the war-torn skies towards their destination aboard the airship _Espada_, escorted by several dragon flights and a couple of Draconian ships. Any Charizard that tried to attack the heavily-armed group didn't get a chance to regret it, but there was little they could do to countermand the anti-air blasts being launched at them from the slopes and peak of Mt. Blaze aside from returning fire with their own weapons systems. The ships' weapons were able to deflect or destroy most of the projectiles being fired at them, but several still got through despite their best intentions, so the airships were being constantly rocked by the enemy bombardment, much to the displeasure of some of the passengers, especially the ones who were the most unused to flight.

"Ohhh…I think I'm going to be sick…" Zeke the Zangoose moaned.

"If you are, please do it over the railing," El Toro said. "We're going to have a lot of cleaning up to do later as is what with so many people being crammed onto the ship, I don't want the job to be any _más difícilmente_ than it has to be." Team Razor Wind, along with all the other Rescue Teams from Pokemon Square and some of the Draconian soldiers they were going to lead into battle, were standing on the _Espada's _main deck, in anticipation of their impending descent into the volcanic crater of Mt. Blaze. It gave them a good view of the battlefield and all the fighting going on, but it also meant they were exposed to the stench of volcanic sulfur and smog, the dying screams and battle cries of the warrior Pokemon clashing all around them, and the impacts against the ship's hull of the artillery projectiles from below, shaking the vessel and forcing them to constantly grab onto each other or other objects to keep from losing their balance.

"Don't worry, Zeke, we'll be there soon," Sickle the Scyther reassured his teammate.

Sandy the Sandslash gulped. "And then we're going to have to jump over the side…that should be…fun…"

"Don't worry," one of the top-ranking Draconian soldiers present, a Charmeleon captain named Brimstone, assured Sandy. "We'll be flying down on Dragonback for the most part. It'll be a rocky ride, but not as scary as a freefall."

"And what if we fall off or our dragon gets knocked out of the sky?" Zeke asked.

"That's when you engage your parachute," Brimstone said. "Of course, if you lose _that_—which, I admit, may be an issue, considering we're being dropped into a very literal firefight—then you may be in a bit of trouble."

"Ah," Sandy said, not looking particularly reassured. "Lovely." The ship rocked as they got hit by another direct impact, and Zeke threw up over the railing.

"Gracias!" El Toro said gratefully.

_What am I doing here?_ Bella of Team Flame thought desperately as she instinctively tried to dig her roots into the ground to maintain her balance and absorb nutrients from the soil, which didn't work since they were on the deck of an airship rather than a forest floor. _We're about to be going into an active volcano full of hostile Fire Pokemon! I'll be fried to a crisp, even with all this heat protection I'm wearing! Oh, why did I agree to come on this mission in the first place?_

"Bella, you're hyperventilating," Celsius the Camerupt said in concern.

"Of course I'm hyperventilating!" Bella cried shrilly. "We're in a war zone, fireballs are flying everywhere, and we're going to be entering one of the hottest areas in the entire volcano! What if my heat shields don't work? What if my goggles don't protect me? What if…what if-"

"Bella, relax," Stella the Ponyta said soothingly. "Everything will be all right."

"That protective suit you're wearing, though weird-looking," Celsius commented, looking at the gray sheath and orange goggles covering Bella's entire body. "Is sure to work fine, especially since you got it from the Kecleon Bros. And you've got us to protect you. We'll make sure nothing bad happens so long as you stick with us, okay?"

_Oh yes, that makes me _so_ relieved_, Bella thought sarcastically. _Considering I have to worry just as much about your attacks as I do the enemies' if my suit fails! Why oh why did I form a team of Fire-types again?_

Team Seasons and Team Tops looked out at the fighting going on around them, their wings and claws itching to join the fray. "It won't be much longer now," Spenser said to his teammates, seeing how badly they wanted to take part in bringing death to the barbarians. "We're almost there. And when we get there…"

Sven nodded, narrowing his eyes. "We'll make those bastards pay for what they did to our homes. Seasonburg, Vientown, and all our friends…today, they will be avenged."

"Killing the barbarians won't bring them back," Keith said sadly.

"No," Wendy agreed. "But it'll certainly make me feel a lot better."

"War is terrible, isn't it?" Ursula commented as she and her teammates observed the bloodshed below. "I understand the necessity of it, especially in these circumstances, but still…I wish we didn't have to fight." She scowled. "And to think the barbarians are training children to take part in something like this…"

"As opposed to us, who train kids to go out on their own into the wilderness and beat up other people?" Tricia said.

"We train them to rely on each other and teach them the value of teamwork and friendship," Cress pointed out. "They don't go out of their way to provoke fights, and only beat up those who deserve it."

"And they don't take part in mass genocide," Ursula said firmly.

"Yeah," Tricia said, somewhat melancholy. "That's the job of grown-ups, right?"

"Maybe so," Ursula agreed. "Which is why we must do our best to make sure our children will never have to go through something like this…or at least, if they must, not until they're old enough to be able to deal with it." She sighed. "Though if I had my way, they would never be old enough…" She shrugged her tentacles. "But such is the way of the world. We can't stop growing up, and we can't always get what we want." Her teammates nodded in wordless agreement.

"So, this is what we're up against, huh?" Wes commented, staring down at the battlefield. "We've taken out gangs and crime syndicates…but an entire army? That's new."

"Eh, shouldn't be too much of a problem compared to some of the other crazies we've beaten," Gonzap said confidently. "And besides, it's not like we're fighting them alone this time, right? And nobody's expecting us to defeat them by ourselves."

Rui nodded. "That's right, our job is to find T-Bone."

"It won't be easy," Wes commented. "Finding one Pokemon in a mountain that big? It'll be like looking for a needle in a needle stack."

"Then it's a good thing I happen to be pretty good at finding needles," Edgar said, flapping over. "I happen to have an eye for shiny things."

"And we're pretty good at finding things in general," Atlas said as he and the rest of Team Frontier walked over.

Samantha nodded. "Between all of us, we should be able to find that traitorous bastard and bring him back to town."

"What'll you do with him once we've got him?" Rui asked.

"He deserves the death sentence for everything he's done," Atlas growled. "I don't care if he was trying to help his family, what he did was unforgivable! The Mayor and Scotty can pump him for all the information he's got, but after that, I think nobody would mind very much if he took a long walk off a short pier…and Spite, stop eating my emotions, it creeps me out and gives me a headache."

"Sorry," the Shuppet apologized, floating away from the Machoke's head. "There's just so much aggression and negative emotion in the air…it's like a smorgasbord of anger and vengeance! It's making me positively giddy. I haven't had this much to eat in ages!"

Rui wrinkled her nose in disgust. "Ew…"

"So, you guys think you can find T-Bone?" Wes asked, getting back on subject.

Atlas nodded. "I think we have a good shot at it, yeah."

"Of course, when we find him, we're going to have to fight him," Mac the Breloom said. "That won't be fun."

"We're going to be outnumbering him significantly," Gonzap pointed out. "Don't you think you're worrying a little too much?"

"No," Mac said flatly.

"Well, either way…we're going to see what happens when we find him soon enough," Edgar said.

"And once we do…" Atlas snarled, clenching a fist. "We're going to make him start paying for what he did to Allen and Charlie. We're not supposed to kill him…but they never said we had to bring him back in one piece…"

"Master Yamiri, do you have everything you need?" Aaron asked the priest.

The Sableye nodded. "The relics and blessed weapons are ready and have been distributed to everyone in my party. With them, we should make quick work of the Devil Golem eggs." He frowned. "Groudon, on the other hand…"

"We'll take care of him," Gallant assured Yamiri.

"It'll be a pretty tough fight, though, considering Groudon's probably going to be the strongest adversary we've ever fought," Lady said.

"Which is unsurprising, considering he's a _god_," Paris agreed. She smiled. "I'm not worried, though…because so long as the nine of us stick together, there's no way we can lose." The members of the three teams smiled and nodded in agreement.

"Of courssse…if you manage to defeat Gal and dessstroy the Red Orb before we get to our dessstination, sssaving usss the trouble of fighting Groudon, we wouldn't exxxactly be complaining," King told Aaron.

"I would," Gallant said. "I was looking forward to fighting Groudon."

"That's because you're crazy," Grace said fondly.

He smiled. "Yeah, I know."

"Even if we somehow manage to beat Gal that quickly—which I doubt, he's going to be one tough opponent—you'll still probably have to fight Groudon, because he'll be so enraged at being chained up and mind-controlled he won't care that you had nothing to do with it, he'll try to kill you anyway," Aaron said.

Melodi the Gardevoir smiled. "He can _try_…"

"He may find us a bit more than he can handle, what with our combined strength, Master Yamiri's holy magic, and the aid of our new friends," Forsythia said, glancing at the soldiers who would be accompanying them into the deepest bowels of the volcano.

The leader of the contingent going with them, a Haunter named Morty, nodded. "We will be more than happy to help you defeat the evil god, sirs and ma'ams! It's the kind of thing we'll be telling our kids about in years to come!"

"Groudon isn't really an _evil_ god per se," Yamiri said. "Just…amoral. And rather uncaring for mortals, or of the destruction he causes in his battles with Kyogre."

Morty shrugged. "Eh, close enough for me."

"And while you guys take on Groudon, we'll be beating down the bastard responsible for all this," Charla growled. "I'm somewhat disappointed I can't help track down that asshole T-Bone…but for what Gal did to my mon, that monkey needs to die more."

"He's not going to be easy to beat…but I'm not particularly worried," Raiki said. "After all, we're Team Auraforce. We're too awesome to lose."

"You shouldn't be so overconfident," Aaron said. "Though you're probably right."

"Well, duh," Raiki said.

The ship shook, but this time it was not from getting hit by an attack, but due to slowing down and coming to a stop in midair. _"Everyone, we have reached the drop zone!"_ Zoro shouted from the bridge over the speakers. _"Get your parachutes on and prepare for descent! We're laying down cover fire, but it will only keep those _monos _at bay for so long, so we need to get ready to go now! _Vamanos!" As everyone on deck rushed to get their parachutes on and gathered in their pre-arranged groups, Zoro turned to Rosa. "Time to go, mi amore."

Rosa smiled. "Good. I was starting to get bored." She strolled out of the room.

"You!" Zoro said, pointing randomly at one of the Draconian soldiers standing at attention around the bridge. "I am leaving you in charge of the _Espada_ while I am gone. If _anything_ should happen to her, I will hunt you down and kill you. _Comprende?"_

"Sir, yes, sir!" the Gabite said, saluting and standing to attention.

Zoro frowned. "That wasn't an idle threat, you know. I really _will_ kill you."

"Sir! I know, sir!" the Gabite said.

"And this doesn't bother you because…?" Zoro queried.

"I was trained by Grandmaster Nuken, sir. After a few years under him, death no longer holds any terror," the Gabite said.

"Ah," Zoro said. "Well. All right then. Just…keep her in one piece, okay?" Feeling slightly disgruntled, he left the bridge to join the search party for T-Bone.

As the Pokemon strike teams lined up on the deck, the Draconian escort started shooting at the enemy forces entrenched in the crater below, drawing their fire away from the _Espada _and creating a small window which they could use to land their troops. The window wouldn't last long, though, hence why everyone had to move as quickly as possible before the barbarians realized what they were up to and tried to shoot the invaders out of the sky. A few dozen very large Dragon Pokemon swooped down around the _Espada,_ gliding under its envelope and hovering in place just off the side of the deck, turning around and extending their tails to the railings to create boarding ramps. The Pokemon on deck hurriedly filed onto the transports, which dove out of sight once they had reached maximum carrying capacity and allowed the next dragon to take their place.

"Jimmy, I'm scared," Marina confessed as Team GSC's turn to depart drew closer and closer. "We're so high up, and none of us is exactly light…will they be able to carry us down safely? And what about the enemy missiles? Will they be able to dodge those while we're onboard?"

"Relax, Marina, they wouldn't have picked these dragons for us if they didn't think they could get us down in one piece," the Quilava assured his girlfriend.

"But if you fall off and your parachute doesn't work, at least you'll probably flatten a half-dozen or so barbarians when you hit the ground," Vincent said brightly. "Which makes a half-dozen less of them for us to worry about!"

Marina whimpered. "You're not helping," Jimmy said angrily.

"Sorry," said Vincent, not looking it.

"Sirs and madam? Aren't you coming on board?" a Draconian captain, a Kangaskhan named Roo, asked Team Auraforce as her troops got on board their Tropius carrier.

Raiki shook his head. "Nah, I'm riding on Charla."

"Though considering your weight, that might be a bit of a struggle," Charla joked.

Raiki frowned. "I'm not _that_ heavy…and what's it to you, anyway? You're the strongest Charizard in town, maybe even stronger than the other Charizard who are fighting, barbarian and Draconian alike! What's a slightly overweight Raichu samurai compared to some of the other things you've lifted?"

"Most of those other things weren't carrying a sword or had a chance of electrifying me if they got panicky," Charla said.

Raiki rolled his eyes. "That was just _one_ time…geez…"

"Okay…but what about you, sir?" Roo asked Aaron. "No offense, Miss Charla, but I don't think you're big enough to carry both Raiki and Aaron…well, unless one rode on your back and one in your claws?"

"Yeah, no, I don't think so," Charla said flatly.

Aaron smiled. "Your consideration is appreciated but unnecessary, Captain. You see, I don't need a ride."

Roo blinked. "Huh? But then how are you going to get down to the crater?"

"Like this," Aaron said, clutching his scepter tightly in one hand as he vaulted onto the railing and leaped off the side of the ship, plummeting towards the ground far below. The dragons that had already started their descent screeched in alarm and quickly swooped out of the way so that Aaron wouldn't land on them and possibly knock them and their passengers out of the air.

Roo gawked incredulously. "What does he think he's doing? Somebody catch him!"

"Don't bother," Raiki said.

"Don't bother? But he's not wearing a parachute!" Roo cried.

Raiki shook his head in bemusement. "He doesn't need one, the show-off. Come on, Charla, let's go, we've got to get down there before there's nobody left for us to fight!"

Charla nodded. "And where'd the fun in that be?" Laughing, Raiki hopped onto her back, and the Charizard leaped off the ship and started gliding towards the crater.

Roo shook her head in amazement. "Incredible…are _all_ you Pokemon from Pokemon Square that crazy?" she asked Team Raider as they passed by with AWD and Charm.

"Pretty much, yeah," Roxie said.

"The only reason we aren't all jumping off the airship too is because we don't have the same levels of sheer badassery they do, or the superpowers necessary to survive such a fall without a parachute," Forsythia confirmed.

"Of course, that doesn't mean we don't make up for a lack in that category in _other_ ways," Lady said, looking adoringly at Gallant, who smiled. The rest of their teams/lovers tittered, and several female Draconians (and a few males) looked at them enviously. Roo sweatdropped.

Aaron flattened his arms to his sides to increase his aerodynamicity and sped towards the crater like a rocket, Aura blasting from his feet to propel him towards the ground faster than the dragons he left in his wake, intending to land before everyone else and thin out the opposition a little to make it easier for his comrades to land. Flipping his scepter over in one hand, he charged it with Aura and threw it ahead of him, the crackling blue energy infusing its length and crystal causing it to shoot away from him so fast it almost looked like a laser beam. A Magmortar who had been lobbing fireballs at one of the Draconian ships harrying the crater forces caught the gleam of the scepter out of the corner of his eye and turned around just in time for the missile to impale him through the neck, the Aura energy wave that blasted out from the impact vaporizing him as well as every Pokemon within a dozen meters of him.

The other barbarians, knocked over by the shockwave, looked up in alarm to see Aaron and the dragons descending towards them. "They're coming right for us! Get them!" a Torkoal shouted. The barbarians quickly switched targets from the airships to the drop-dragons and their passengers.

"That idiot! He's going to get us killed!" Roo cried in horror as dozens of massive fire streams, fireballs, rocks, Swift stars, beams, and other projectiles shot up towards them.

"No, he's just showing off again," Raiki yelled from Charla's back.

"What's he trying to do, make the rest of us look bad?" Wes complained.

Aaron, unbothered by the volatile volley rising from the crater, clasped his paws together and formed an Aura Sphere half again as big as he was. With a mighty cry, he flipped over and threw it into the air above him, then immediately fired another Aura Sphere which slammed into the larger energy ball and caused it to burst, sending hundreds of much smaller Aura blasts arcing through the air and falling towards Mt. Blaze. Most of the energy balls collided with the airborne missiles and destroyed them, while the rest rained down on the barbarians in the crater, causing them to shriek in alarm and frantically dance about to avoid the lethal shower, explosions tearing up the landscape as the mini-Aura Spheres detonated on impact with whatever they hit.

Aaron wasn't through with them yet, however. He flipped over again, blue Aura blazing up around him, and propelled himself downward at even greater speeds, impacting as hard as a meteor with an explosion that caused the entire mountain to shake. (Not much, grant you, but then again, it _was_ a very big mountain!) As the barbarians picked themselves back up off the ground and tried to regain their bearings, Aaron strode out of the smoke cloud from his landing…

Followed by another Aaron. And another. And another. Until there were about a half-dozen or so blindfolded Lucarios standing on the crater floor. Granted, all but one of them were Aura projections, but that didn't make them any less dangerous. As the barbarians gaped in horror, one of the Aarons—the original, of course—reached down and wrenched his scepter out of the ground, then pointed the crystal at its end at the small army of Pokemon surrounding him. Without a word, the Aura clones leaped into action, manifesting Metal Claws, Aura Spheres, and Bone Rush staffs and swords as they rushed the terrified barbarians, battle cries emanating from their jaws. The true Aaron twirled his scepter around, smirked, and ran after his dopplegangers to join the fight.

The jaws of the Draconian soldiers dropped in disbelief, as did those of the Rescue Teams who had never seen the legendary Aura Guardian in action before. "_Dios mio…_" whispered an astonished Zoro.

"No wonder he has such a big fanclub!" said an astonished Rosa.

"He's even cooler than you are, Wes," said an amazed Rui.

"He is not!" Wes snapped, knowing in his heart she was right.

"I don't suppose you could tell us where _we_ could get more like him, do you?" the incredulous Roo asked Raiki.

"Afraid not," Raiki said. "Guys like Aaron are a dying breed…which might be for the best, because if that level of sheer concentrated awesomeness was allowed to replicate freely, what hope would there be for the rest of us?"

Charla rolled her eyes. "Oh, quit being melodramatic. Still, he'd better not finish those punks off before we even get down there, or I won't have anyone to warm up against for the battle with Gal!"

"Nah, I think there's more than enough for all of us," Raiki said. He frowned, scanning the battlefield they were swiftly descending towards and noting how rapidly Aaron was depopulating the ranks arrayed against him. "Hmm, but just to be safe…" Without warning, he jumped off of Charla's back, accompanied by gasps from several of his friends and their Draconian allies.

"Raiki, what are you doing?" cried the surprised Charizard. "You can't fly!"

"No, but I can fall with style!" Raiki shouted back.

"What style? We're too close to the ground for your parachute to save you, but still too high for you not to land without breaking every bone in your body!" Charla replied.

"_I'll_ be the judge of that!" Raiki retorted. His body became surrounded in golden electricity, causing his form to turn black and white as he used Volt Tackle. Streaking through the skies like a bolt of lightning, he used the speed and power of his attack to curve his trajectory so that he hit the side of the crater at a shallow angle, his momentum carrying him in a downward spiral across the slopes towards the center of the peak, plowing through dozens of barbarians and burying them beneath the rockslides stirred up in his wake. He skidded to a halt in the center of the crater next to Aaron, the electrical discharge from his stop blasting outwards and knocking away the barbarians who had been surrounding him. "A nice entrance," the Lucario commented as Raiki's cheeks crackled from the residual static buildup.

"Hey, I had to one-up yours somehow, didn't I?" Raiki said.

"I don't think they were particularly impressed," Aaron commented, gesturing with his scepter at the barbarians warily approaching them.

"Eh, someone's always a critic," Raiki said, drawing his sword and charging up electrical power, causing Aaron's fur to stand on end.

"It's been quite some time since our last battle together, hasn't it?" Aaron said.

"Yep," Raiki said. "I hope whatever training you put yourself through over the last ten years was sufficient, because I've learned a few new things too since then. Try to keep up if you can, I can't have you slowing me down even if you are my partner and best pal."

Aaron grinned. "Some things never change…" They prepared to strike first against the anxious barbarians, when suddenly…

"Ahem! Aren't you two forgetting someone?" Charla roared as she glided into view, aiming herself at an immense Slaking. The giant ape/sloth thing shrieked and raised a maul to…well, maul her. Things did not go as planned, however, when Charla snatched the weapon out of his paws, bashed him on the head with it, and, while he was stunned, tore off his testicles and stuffed them down his throat. Then she ripped his head off for good measure and tossed it to the shocked barbarians nearby.

"Um…wow," Raiki said after a moment.

"Wasn't that a little excessive?" Aaron asked as Charla landed next to him.

"You ripped a Slaking's head off too," Charla pointed out.

"Yes, but I didn't feed him his own testicles first," Aaron said.

"Well, I had to put my own twist on it, didn't I?" Charla said. They sweatdropped.

"I think I have a new role model," Rui said admiringly as Team Auraforce started really laying into the terrified barbarians.

"I thought Rosa was your new role model," Wes said.

"She still is," Rui said defensively. "I can have more than one, can't I?"

"I suppose," Wes said grudgingly, although personally he would prefer his girlfriend to be a sexy seductive temptress rather than a raging fiery engine of destruction…although he had to admit the latter had a certain appeal to it, too.

Gonzap seemed to share his sentiment. "Whatever happened to the sweet, young, innocent thing that stayed on the sidelines and kept her paws clean?"

"She evolved," Rui said.

"That you did, and not into an Espeon either, like you planned," Gonzap said.

Rui shrugged. "I've made the most of it. I have nothing to complain about."

"Neither do I, really," Wes admitted, thinking of how…'frisky' his girlfriend could be at night, when she was at her strongest.

"_Increible…_so this is what it is like to see legends in action," Zoro whispered reverently.

"Yes, while we get _no_ action!" Rosa complained.

"Si, when do we get to fight?" El Toro asked.

"Right now, I think," Lobo Fuerte said, glancing at the ground. "We're low enough to make it down safely if we jumped, aren't we?"

"I think so," Rosa said.

Zoro grinned. "All right then! Amigos, what do you say we join in on the fun before they all go _adios?_"

"What's Espanish for 'yes?'" Atlas asked Samantha.

"Si," Samantha replied.

"What she said!" Edgar squawked.

One by one, the Rescue Teams started jumping off their rides, using attacks and special abilities (or barbarians) to cushion their landing. "Well, Abyss," Roo muttered. "We can't let those civilians show us up! We're elite members of the Draconian Imperial Guard! We can kick ass and take names too! All units, deploy!" The soldiers jumped off the dragon transports as well, eager to prove that Pokemon Square wasn't the only one who fielded strong battlers.

What was the only thing worse than fighting the greatest Rescue Team in history? Fighting the greatest Rescue Team in history along with several more of the best Teams on the continent and some of the toughest soldiers of one of the world's most powerful nations backing them up. The invading Pokemon charged into the fray, shouting the battle cries of their choice to send shivers down the spines of the barbarians.

"IN THE NAME OF THE KING!" shouted several of the Draconian soldiers.

"FOR THE EMPIRE!" the other soldiers yelled.

"POKEMON SQUAAAAAARE!" the Rescue Teams howled.

"RAAAAAARGH!" Wes exclaimed inelegantly, since neither he nor his friends could think of a better battle cry. They made a note to remedy that in the future.

The following battle was fast-pitched and epic in nature. Jimmy curled into a ball, flames bursting from the vents on his shoulders to engulf him in a ball of fire as he used Flame Wheel. The barbarians he started rolling towards frantically tried to get out of the way, but Vincent used Frenzy Plant, causing immense thorny roots to burst out of the ground and hold them in place. The roots were destroyed when Jimmy smashed into them, causing the barbarians to fly like bowling pins, which Marina blasted out of the air with pinpoint shots of her Water Gun.

Team Constrictor used their Water attacks to weaken the primarily Fire-type barbarians and bedraggle those that weren't, and then Constricted them into submission with their tentacles. Team Razor Wind dashed all over the place at high speed, lashing out with their claws, spines, and scythe blades, slicing through anything and everything in their path. Celsius and Stella created Earthquakes with their powerful stomps to knock the barbarians off-balance and allow Bella-the battle frenzy overtaking her terror—to blast them with Razor Leaves, Vine Whips, and Energy Balls.

Joel, Cameron, Elita, and Spenser of Team Seasons combined the powers of their wings—or in Joel's case, waving his necks back and forth really fast, since he didn't have wings—to generate a Whirlwind which swept across the battlefield, picking up monkeys and Fire Pokemon and flinging them high into the air, where they were cut to shreds by the four birds' powerful beaks, talons, and wings. Keith plowed through the horde with his Aqua Jet, knocking his foes over and dampening them enough so that Sven's follow-up dashing Spark attack electrocuted them. Wendy soared overhead, occasionally swooping down to tear through the ranks of the barbarians with Brave Bird, watching her teammates' backs.

A group of monkeys spurred on by Edgar and Spite's Dark Pulses fell right into a trap created by Samantha as her iron horns locked around their ankles, tripping them over and allowing Atlas and Mac to brutally finish them off. Wes used Psychic to fling his opponents into the air, where Rui blasted them with shots of Hidden Power and Shadow Ball and Gonzap slashed what remained to pieces with his Steel Wings. Zoro hopped onto El Toro's back and rode all over the place, lashing out with his sword and Thunderbolt attacks at the barbarians on either side as the Tauros implacably rammed and gored anyone who got in his way. An overlarge Arcanine tried to butt heads with him, only to find itself flipped and tossed over El Toro's back, where Zoro sliced the great canine in two as it passed over his head. Lobo dashed about in their wake, his claws and fangs lashing out to finish off anyone who had managed to survive Zoro and El Toro's charge, and Rosa marched on their heels, carried aloft by an army of love-slaves who were more than happy to dispatch their former comrades, if that would please their new mistress. _I'm going to have to figure out what to do with these once the battle's over_, she thought to herself. _I doubt Zoro will let me keep them—there's no room in the ship, and they're so _messy! _Haven't any of them ever heard of baths?—but it seems unfair to kill them after they've served me so faithfully. Hmm…what's a girl to do? It can be so difficult, sometimes, being incredibly beautiful…_

Master Yamiri was all over the place, striking—quite literally—from the shadows, bashing barbarians over the head with his mace and blinding them with the holy light from his prayer slips. More than a few of those he defeated got some sense pounded into their heads—again, quite literally—and considered converting, if only because it meant they'd stop getting hit so hard. Melodi the Gardevoir used Psychic to paralyze her foes and lift them into the air, allowing Paris and Grace to leap up and pummel them with a flurry of Force Palms, Pounds, and Dizzy Punches. They landed and bounded away as Melodi dropped the monkeys and Fire Pokemon back to the ground…where they were promptly blasted by the Gardevoir's Future Sight, sending them flying in all directions. King and Reg blasted their opponents with Poison Sting until they were too pumped up on toxins to move, allowing Lady to freeze them solid and smash them to pieces with swift strikes from her claws. Gallant, much like Melodi, used Psychic to toss barbarians into the air, but rather than leave them hanging he leaped up and started slicing and dicing with moves like Slash, Fury Cutter, False Swipe, and Psycho Cut. Forsythia accentuated his clean cuts with Magical Leaves and Mega Drain to make the barbarians' wounds worse, and Roxie finished them off with a tremendous Rock Wrecker when their resistance was completely broken.

The Draconian soldiers, refusing to be overshadowed by the civilian Rescue Teams, proved themselves capable of holding their own as well. As the ground forces fought with fang and claw and high-powered moves like Dragon Pulse, Dragonbreath, and Dragon Rage, the carriers who had transported them to the battlefield swooped back and forth overhead, strafing the barbarians with breath and projectile attacks and dropping explosive payloads that tore the landscape, and anyone unlucky enough to get caught in the blast radius, apart. Any barbarian who thought to underestimate the soldiers because there were more of them and they weren't fighting quite as impressively or racking up as many individual body counts as the heroes from Pokemon Square soon regretted it.

And what was Team Auraforce doing during all of this? Aaron used his ability to split off clones to be in multiple places at once, causing explosions of Aura to erupt all over the place as he ripped through his foes with claws and fists and energy bones and his trusty scepter. Raiki demonstrated that he didn't need his family's sacred blade to be a master swordsmon, as he sliced his adversaries to pieces with ridiculous ease…sometimes, without his sword even making contact with their bodies! And Charla, eager to prove herself an equal to the legendary warriors, went out of her way to demonstrate what sort of carnage she was capable of when she dug her claws into the earth, ripped out a boulder fifty times her size, smashed it against her head hard enough to split it in two, hurled the halves at a group of shocked barbarians, and then blasted both rocks with fireballs so they exploded and buried the barbarians under a rain of flaming stones. Overkill? Most definitely. But since when was that a bad thing?

However, there was one person who was unimpressed by Team Auraforce's antics. As they tore through the ranks of the horde like they were made of tissue paper, an Infernape stood out of range of the bloodshed, biding his time and sharpening his sword as he stared pointedly at Raiki. His name was Kragok Vulkanus, and he had a bone to pick with the Thunder Warrior. Years ago, Raiki had slain Kragok's father in single combat, and Kragok had sworn to kill the Raichu in retribution. He and his tribe had harvested a great crystal from a molten cavern deep beneath Mt. Blaze and forged it into a sword, carving mystical runes into its length and having their shaman bless it and give it the power to (hopefully) counter the Thunderblades' sacred sword and kill its celebrated patriarch. A tournament had been held to decide who would have the right to wield it, a tournament that he had won, though he had been forced to kill his own brothers to prevail and obtain the sword for himself. But all the sacrifices and struggles he had gone through would be worth it, if he could but slay his father's killer.

There! Now was his chance. Raiki's back was turned, distracted as he tried to defend himself from the flames of some of Kragok's expendable comrades. Grinning savagely as the culmination of all his desires materialized before him, the Infernape raised his sword and ran towards the Raichu silently, shoving and punching the other combatants out of his way but only hitting them with the flat of his blade when it was necessary to use it. He wanted the first blood his weapon drank to be the Thunderblade's, and nobody else's.

Charla headbutted a Vigoroth so hard its skull caved in and glanced up just in time to see the Infernape charging at Raiki from behind. "Raiki, look out!"

Raiki, having dispatched the last of the fire-breathers who had attacked him, glanced up just in time to see Kragok looming over him. "Hmm?"

"THUNDERBLADE! DIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Kragok screamed, bringing his blade down in an unstoppable chop.

Raiki's sword flashed through the air twice. The first blow shattered Kragok's sword like it was glass. The second split the Infernape from shoulder to crotch, causing him to collapse to the ground in halves, molten-hot blood gushing all over the place. "Who was that guy?" Aaron commented, throwing an Arcanine to the ground so hard it cratered and slicing its throat with his Metal Claws. "He seemed to have it in for you."

Raiki shrugged. "Eh, just another barbarian scumbag. Probably nobody important. I'll tell you one thing, though…whoever he was, he had a really poorly-crafted sword. What was he thinking, charging into battle with something as flimsy as that? Then again, what can you expect from a bunch of luddite furballs who probably don't know the first thing about blacksmithing?" Aaron grunted, too busy prying open the jaws of a Camerupt so that he could shove an Aura Sphere down its throat to reply. He jumped away as the fiery camel's eyes bulged and pillars of Aura burst from the volcanoes on its back, collapsing in a heap on the ground. Raiki smirked and shook his head. "Show-off."

"Sir, we're taking heavy casualties! We can't stop them!" a terrified Aipom screeched to the commanding officer of the crater guard, a fearsome Typhlosion at least half again as big as Jimmy, with many more scars. "We need to get out of here!"

The Typhlosion violently grabbed the Aipom and snapped its neck. "Cowards and weaklings, the lot of ye! There will be nay retreat! We are proud barbarians, soldiers of the Burning Horde! We fear nothing and run from nae mon!" A gigantic Dragon Pulse fired by one of the carrier dragons flew through the air and smashed into a half-dozen Pokemon standing just next to the Typhlosion, vaporizing them instantly. "FALL BACK!" the Typhlosion shouted without changing his expression or tone of voice.

The few warriors who remained were all too happy to withdraw, frantically running for the safety of the gaping tunnel leading back inside Mt. Blaze as if all the beasts of the Abyss were chasing off of them, which wasn't far from the truth so long as you replaced 'Abyss' with 'Draconian Empire' and 'Pokemon Square.' Quite a few barbarians trampled their brethren to death in their desperate race for safety, leaving anyone too slow to keep up with them to the cruel mercy of the forces chasing after them. The fleeing barbarians reached the tunnel entrance, streamed inside, and quickly slammed the enormous metal blast doors into place over the portal, locking and barring them and bracing them from inside so that nobody could break in.

Not all the barbarians made it to the gates in time, and stared helplessly up at the locked door as the terrifying invaders caught up to them, coming to a halt a few meters away. Roo, in her capacity as leader of the Draconian soldiers assigned to this mission, stepped forward. "You have lost this battle. By the authority of the Draconian Empire-"

"And Pokemon Square," Raiki added.

"And Pokemon Square," Roo amended. "We charge you to surrender or be destroyed."

"We will never surrender to you Draconian scum!" a Magmar shouted angrily. "We will fight you to our last breaths-"

A Primeape hit him in the neck from behind, knocking him out. "If we surrender, does that mean you won't kill us?"

"If you surrender, we'll take you into custody and try you as prisoners of war, but no, we won't kill you," Roo said.

"We won't?" Wes asked in disappointment.

"No, we won't," Aaron said pointedly. The Espeon frowned, as did Team Seasons and Team Tops, who didn't think any barbarians should be suffered to live. They weren't the only ones, but most of them kept their opinions to themselves. None of the private objectors were aware that the surrendering barbarians would soon wish they _had_ picked death, since now that they were prisoners of war…they would have to deal with Nuken…

Eagerly grasping this sliver of hope and unknowing of the horrible fate awaiting them, the barbarians unanimously surrendered, and were promptly clapped in fireproof irons and Teleported back to Pokemon Square where they would be transported to the dungeons of the floating Sky Tower, along with Rosa's love slaves, who had not yet snapped out of their amorous state. Also sent back with them were the few casualties that had resulted from the battle. Thankfully, nobody had died, and the majority of those who were injured could be treated on the battlefield, while those with more severe wounds were immediately sent to the care of the Joys located outside the warzone. As the warriors licked their wounds and took a moment to catch their breath, the leaders of the attack force studied the door blocking their way into the bowels of Mt. Blaze.

"It looks pretty thick…" Brimstone said. "It can probably withstand a ton of damage."

"I don't suppose those ninjas we're supposed to be working with can open it from the inside?" Morty said. He glanced around. "Where are they, anyway?"

"They're ninjas. We're not supposed to be able to spot them, even if they're on our side." Roo sighed. "Well, I think we could blast our way through with some properly-planted explosives…how many of our soldiers have experience in demolition?"

"That won't be necessary," Aaron said, stepping forward.

"Yeah, we've got this," Raiki said.

Roo glanced at them. Any skepticism she had initially had of their much-vaunted skills had long since disappeared. "Okay," the Kangaskhan said. "What do you have in mind?"

"Just step back and let us handle this," Aaron said. As the Draconians and everyone else within several dozen yards of the sealed gate quickly retreated, the Lucario glanced at his partner and asked, "I think an X-Slash should do the trick, don't you?"

"Yeah, this thing looks pretty thick, but we should be able to cut our way through," Raiki agreed, eyeing the door contemplatively.

"Anything I can do?" Charla asked hopefully.

"Sure. You can add your attack power to make our technique stronger," Aaron said.

"What do I need to do?" Charla asked.

"Just wait for the right moment. You'll know it when you see it," Raiki said. He raised his sword and looked at Aaron. "Ready?"

Aaron nodded, forming a Bone Rush sword. "Ready."

Facing the door, they crossed their blades between them to form an X. They closed their eyes, concentrating and gathering their power. Raiki's cheeks sparked. Aaron's Aura-hair-organ-things glowed and rose up behind his head. The air around them grew volatile and crackled with energy as static rose in arcs around Raiki's body and sword, while a corona of Aura formed around Aaron and his energy blade. The ground started shaking slightly, and small pebbles started rising into the air. Charla took a few steps back, and the other soldiers and warriors paused in tending to their wounds to stare at the two legendary heroes, getting the feeling something amazing was about to happen.

They were right. Eyes flashing open, Raiki and Aaron shouted and lashed out with their swords, causing an X-shaped energy blade made of lightning and blue flames to shoot out from their weapons, growing exponentially as it rushed towards the big metal door. Instantly grasping what was expected of her, Charla took a deep breath and exhaled a Blast Burn over the heads of her teammates, the stream of fire merging with the other elements making up the cross and causing it to surge with even more energy, lighting up with such an immense burst of power that it was almost blinding to look at. The burning cross smashed into the door with an explosion that shook the crater and generated gusts of wind so strong that the airborne dragons had to frantically flap their wings to keep from being blown away. There was nothing they could do to save everyone's fur, though, which now looked as if it had gotten into a rather bad accident with a hairdryer.

As the winds died down and the smoke faded, everyone looked on with eyes wide with awe to see…that the door was still standing, completely unscratched. They groaned. Charla scowled. "Well, that bites."

Aaron held up a finger. "Wait for it."

They waited. And waited. And then…

There was a loud creaking noise and the groan of metal scraping against metal. Light glinted off a nearly invisible X-shaped cut completely piercing the face of the door. With a great and shuddering whine, the door abruptly collapsed into four neat pieces, revealing the barbarians who had been hiding behind it. The looks on their faces when they realized their barrier had been destroyed and there was absolutely nothing standing between them and the battle-hungry army outside were priceless. They screamed and fled down the tunnel. The warriors gave a great cry of triumph and exultation and rose to chase after them, surging past the smug Team Auraforce in pursuit of their prey.

"Well, that was a job well done," Aaron said once everyone else had ran ahead of them.

"It's been ages since we last did that move. Good to see we can still pull it off flawlessly," Raiki said proudly.

"That was incredible! If we get to do things like that all the time, I'm going to _love_ being part of this team!" Charla said giddily.

"You _do_ realize we could have just Dug under it, right?" Roo asked from beside them.

There was a long, awkward pause. "Er. No. No, I didn't," Aaron said Mareepishly.

Raiki facepalmed. "Guess Aaron isn't the only showoff around here…"

"I don't care," Charla said stubbornly. "It was badass, and we have no reason to regret doing it. It was worth it to see those little bastards shit themselves at once and run off with their tails between their legs. Those that had tails, anyway." She narrowed her eyes. "Just as it'll also be worth it when I rip out Gal's intestines and feed them back to him…"

Aaron nodded. "That's right. We have a Monkey King to defeat and a friend to save. Everyone has a mission, and that one's ours. Let's get started."

Their first victorious battle under their belts, the newly reformed Team Auraforce entered Mt. Blaze…knowing that their greatest challenge was yet to come, but eagerly looking forward to it.

…

Meanwhile, in Almiore…

Every seat was packed. Every booth was occupied. Every mouth was silenced. Every ear was open to the beautiful melody of 'Distant Worlds' being played by the orchestra. And every eye in the crowded theater was focused on stage, and on the costumed Gary, standing weary, yet proud and defiant, a spotlight on him as soldiers of the Western army rushed past him on Doduo-back, the survivors of the disastrous battle with the East preparing to make their grand counterattack against their hated enemy. As the extras scurried around in the background and the audience watched and listened raptly, the costumed Gengar opened his mouth and began to sing. "Ohhhhhhhhh Mariaaaaaaa…Ohhhhhhhh Mariaaaaaa…though I call you from afaaar, will this messaaage reach your heart? How I loooong to beeeee wiiiiith yooooouuuu!"

As the lights came back on, the audience eagerly applauded, impressed by the Ghost's spirited (ha!) performance. Who would have believed that just the other day, his voice shattered glass and eardrums whenever he tried to sing those notes? The Spirit's rush training had truly done the Gengar a world of good. As Gary stared off into the distance deep in thought, clearly thinking of his beloved Maria, one of the soldiers, a spear-carrying Quilava in chain mail, approached him. "Sir, all our preparations for the attack on Prince Ralse's palace are complete."

Gary glanced at the soldier. "All the mon are armed and ready?"

"Yes sir," said the Quilava.

"The battle-Doduos and Rapidash are rested and mounted?" Gary asked.

"Yes sir," said the Quilava.

"The giant mechas are fueled and set to go?" Gary asked.

"Yes sir," said the Quilava.

"In that case," Gary said, putting on a pair of sunglasses. "It's time for the sun to rise in the East for the last time." (This was actually a very subtle and clever pun, since the sun rises in the east and sets in the west, and the West had been defeated but was now about to rise against the East again, and…oh never mind, it's always bad to explain the joke.)

"YEAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" somebody shouted as the other Western soldiers donned sunglasses and struck poses while the orchestra started playing "Won't get tricked again" by _The What_ and Mary, who had been lying on the floor pretending to be a blade of grass, did absolutely nothing_._ The lights went off onstage and the audience applauded in excitement and confusion. They were pretty sure that last part hadn't been part of the original play…but it was pretty nifty anyway.

The lights came back on to reveal that a new scene had begun on stage. A large and impressive backdrop of a castle at nighttime had been laid over the background, with prop turrets and ramparts forming a battlement upon which Evan stood. He looked magnificent in his beautiful white dress, and more than a few of the awestruck viewers could easily be forgiven for mistaking him for a womon. As he leaned against the ramparts, staring into the distance as a spotlight (or was it the full Moon?) shone down on him and the orchestra started playing "Aria de Mezzo Carattera", the Ekans began to sing, his beautiful and melodious voice breaking the hearts of even the staunchest of critics present at the show and instantly won him the adoration of everyone in the theater, while Mary, almost invisible behind one of the towers, wept in jealousy and despair.

"Ohhh my heeeeroooo! My beloooooveeeed! Shall we stiiiiil be maaaaade toooo paaaaart? Though proooomisssesss of perennial looooove yet sssing heeeeere in myyyy heaaaaart…" Evan turned and began to gracefully dance across the stage, the hem of his dress gliding softly behind him. "I'm the daaaaarknesss, you're the ssstaaaaarliiiiight, ssshining briiiiightly from aaaafaaaaar! Through hoooooursss of dessspaaaaair, I offer thiiiisss eeeeeveniiiing praaaayer, to yoooou, my eeeeveeeeniiing ssstaaaaaar!" He twirled and faced the audience. "Mussst my fiiiiinaaaal vowsss exxxchaaaanged beee with hiiiim and noooot wiiiith yooooouuuu? Were you only here, to quiiiiiet myyyy feaaaar, oh ssspeaaaak! Guiiiide meeee aaaneeeeeeew!"

Evan turned and slithered up a staircase to a higher balcony, where he stared longingly at the fake stars on the backdrop. As the music swelled, Gary stepped out of the shadows and floated over to Evan. He bowed deeply, and Evan gasped in delight. "Come, Maria! Dance with me…" Evan smiled, nodded, and began to dance with Gary. As the spotlights focused on them, the other lights dimmed and the background stars and Moon brightened, until it seemed as if they were the only people in the world and nothing mattered but their beautifully choreographed dancing. The audience watched in wonder, while a small minority thought the moment was somewhat ruined by the fact that Gary was doing all the leading and Evan couldn't really hold him in return since he had no arms. Similarly, many people wept with envy…but Mary was the only one who was angry that it was Evan who was dancing with Gary, not her.

As the music reached its climax, the lights came back on. Gary kissed Evan on the cheek, bowed, and laughed. "Ha-ha-ha!" And then he vanished, as if he had never been there, which technically he hadn't since in-story he had been a hopeful imagination of Maria's, though in reality he'd just used his Ghost powers to fade away.

The music stopped. Tears in his (and the audience's) eyes, Evan looked up at the fake Moon, even more distraught than before. "Draco…" he whispered. "Pleassse…" He closed his eyes, whispering the last part, though of course everyone could hear him. "I know you're ssstill out there. I know you'll come for me. Jussst…pleassse…pleassse…I don't think I can wait much longer." With utter silence, he turned and slithered up some stairs and off the stage. The curtains closed and the lights in the theater came back on as the audience rose and unanimously applauded before taking advantage of the intermission to use the bathroom, stretch their appendages, get snacks, and so on.

Up in the Spirit's private box, Hissssa, whose Hiss head had been sticking out of the window since there was no other way she could see what was going on, wept openly, her big salty tears soaking a rather unhappy couple who had the misfortune of sitting underneath her. "Bravo! Bravo! Bravisssimo!"

Ssa's head, which was sticking out the window of the adjacent box since there was no other way _she_ could see what was going on—much to the irritation of the people who'd already been occupying the booth, who were now rather uncomfortably squeezed to the side—nodded in agreement. "That wasss magnificccent! I knew Evan had a marvelousss voiccce, but I never thought it capable of sssuch pure beauty! Encore! Encore!"

"Do you think he'll sssing for _usss_ like that one day?" Hiss asked hopefully.

"I hope ssso…" Ssa frowned. "But he didn't ssso much asss _look_ at usss the whole time he wasss on ssstage! You don't think…he'sss found sssomeone _elssse_, do you?"

"No! He wouldn't!" Hiss cried in horror. "He probably jussst didn't sssee usss. It wasss very dark in the theater…and the lightsss on stage were in hisss eyesss."

"Yeah, that mussst be it," Ssa said, though she didn't look too certain.

"Onccce the ssshow isss over we can ressscue him from hisss ssscreaming clingy fansss and make him sssing for usss asss long asss we want," Hiss said. "And yesss, I meant that to be taken asss innuendo, jussst to be clear."

"Okay," Ssa said.

"Who exactly are these serpents again? I don't recall seeing them at any parties or other high-society gatherings…" the well-dressed Granbull reluctantly sharing his box with Ssa asked his wife, a Purugly.

"Neither have I…" the feline frowned, both from displeasure and because she thought her ribs were starting to bruise from being squashed between her husband and the wall. "And nor will we ever in the future, if I have anything to say about it…"

In Hiss's box, Jerry was finishing a conversation with the Spirit. "And that's everything we know," the Cherubi said, concluding his tale of how he and Hissssa had come to Pueltown in pursuit of Gooey, Torque, and Jerry's transformed father, the Mayor of Chicole Village. "We know they're here in town, and they're probably somewhere in this theater, waiting for the chance to exact their revenge on Gary and the others. We think they may even be responsible for the accident that forced this show's director to recruit them as actors in the first place!"

"I see…" the Spirit murmured, stroking his chin in thought. "Yes…a great many things begin to make sense now…"

"So what do we do about it?" Jerry asked.

"We must act quickly," the Spirit said. "If they are truly here, then it is only a matter of time before they strike, and there's no telling how many people could get hurt in the crossfire as they try to get their revenge. We must find them before it is too late."

"But where could they be?" Jerry asked. "This theater is huge!" Getting a frown, he glanced up at the immense chandelier hanging from the ceiling. "You don't suppose…"

The Spirit shook his head. "The chandelier? No, precautions were taken years ago to make sure it could never be used for such nefarious purposes...not again, anyway. No, the fiends in question are elsewhere…and I think I know just where they might be! Hiss, Ssa, come, we must go!"

"What? But the sssecond act isss about to ssstart!" Hiss protested. "I don't want to misss any of Evan'sss big ssscccenesss!"

"If we do not stop Gooey's band of monsters before they have their revenge, Evan may not even get a _chance_ to perform any of those scenes!" the Spirit pointed out.

Hiss frowned in worry. "Ohhhh…you're right! Come on, sssisss, let'sss go, we have to sssave Evan!"

Ssa nodded. "Right!" She made to pull her head out of the box and out into the hallway where the rest of her body lay, blocking traffic…and paused. "Uh-oh."

"Uh-oh? Why uh-oh?" Hiss asked in alarm.

"I…ssseem to be ssstuck," Ssa said Mareepishly. "I can't get out."

"What?" the Granbull cried.

"Oh, really, this is too much!" the Purugly yelled angrily.

"What? Hold on!" Hiss tried to pull herself out…and found to her dismay that she, too, was stuck. "Oh, for the love of…why do they alwaysss have to build thingsss ssso sssmall? Don't they have any consssideratttion whatsssoever for the abnormally large?"

Jerry groaned. "Oh, come on!"

The Spirit sighed. "This could be a problem…come on, Jerry, let's try to help her. I can get out of here easily enough, but you can't, and I'll probably need both of you to help me put a stop to Gooey's team."

Jerry nodded. "Yes, sir." He and the Spirit started attacking the doorway Hiss was stuck in, hoping to widen it enough for her to pull her head out.

"Unbelievable! I don't care how big you are or how close a friend you are to the Spirit, I'll see to it that you never are invited to any party or social event in Pueltown ever again!" the Purugly said indignantly as Ssa struggled to get out of the box, crushing them some more in the process.

"You can do whatever you want about blackballing me later, right now I could really ussse sssome help getting out of here!" Ssa grunted.

The Purugly sighed. "Oh, very well…George!"

The Granbull grumbled and rolled up his sleeves. "If I must…where should I push?"

As everyone in either box did their best to extricate Hissssa from her awkward situation, none of them noticed a shadow detach itself from a dark corner and flit out of the box on a mission of its own. Maren was in trouble, and Janine the Mirage Kingdom ninja had no intention of letting any demonically-powered thugs ruin her beloved's performance…

…

Meanwhile, under the sea…

"Here we are," Wabbaku said, reaching down and plucking a frond from a patch of seaweed growing in a corner of the crumbling and dilapidated Hyperbeamorian temple they were in. "Just what we were looking for." He stowed it in his bag.

"And that's it?" James asked, his breath fogging up the front of the enchanted glass bowl he was wearing on his head so that he could breathe underwater and survive the crushing pressures of the seafloor. "That's the thing we came here to find?"

Wabbaku nodded. "That's right."

"Dat's da ting we need to turn me back to normal?" Mickey, who was wearing no helmet because as a demon he didn't need oxygen, asked. His ridiculous hat looked especially silly underwater.

Wabbaku nodded again. "The final ingredient for my spell. All we need to do is return to the submarine and begin mixing the curative potion immediately. Then you just need to drink it, and you'll be your old self in no time."

"Hooray!" James cheered.

"Finally!" Mickey said in relief.

"Chiiiii!" Chimecho chimed.

"Good!" Jessie said from her place on the ground. "The sooner we get out of this mess, the better. This water's too dense and damp for my wings. I thought I'd be able to fly underwater, not crawl like a Wurmple!"

"Well, water _is_ heavier than air, Miss Jessie," Buzz, who was also on the ground, pointed out. "Our wings weren't designed to work in it."

"Neither was your brain!" Jessie snapped.

Buzz stared at her in confusion. "I don't follow."

"My point exactly!" Jessie said petulantly.

"So we got the seaweed. Great. Can we go now so you can get out of our thorns and we never have to see you again?" Gardenia asked bitterly.

Wabbaku gave her a puzzled look. "Gardenia, you know I would love to stay if I could...(Okay, that's a bit of a blatant lie, but he knew he would at least miss _her_) but I am needed back in my home village. I have been gone from my family too long. Once all my debts have been repaid, I am obligated to go. It would be cruel to my loved ones to stay away from them any longer than I have to"

Gardenia sighed and turned her back, trying not to cry. She didn't want him to see her tears. "I know. I'll…I'll just miss you, is all."

"As will I," Wabbaku said. "Um…you know that you could always visit. You would be more than welcome in my home."

"Sure, I'd love to come and witness some of your tribal dances!" James said.

"And eat your food!" Mickey added.

"And steal—I mean, admire your valuables!" Jessie said. Wabbaku sweatdropped, wondering what he had gotten himself into.

"Thanks," Gardenia said quietly. "Maybe I will." She had no intention of fulfilling that promise, of course. She didn't think her heart would be able to stand seeing Wabbaku with his children and gorgeous wife, all happy and loving each other and…and not her…

"So, let's get back to da submarine!" Mickey said, clapping his gruesome claws together. "I don't wanna be like dis for a moment longer if I don't have to!"

"And I don't want to have to look at this architecture for any longer," James said, wrinkling his nose in disgust as he looked at the bizarre and disjointed angles making up everything around them. "It's so ugly…"

"Very well," Wabbaku said with a nod. "Let's head back to the submarine, and I will…" He trailed off, frowning and looking sharply off into the distance.

"You'll what?" Mickey asked. "Mix me up dat potion?"

"Wabbaku, what's wrong?" Gardenia asked in alarm, recognizing the look on the shaman's face.

"Something is wrong…" Wabbaku murmured. "The spirits are trying to warn me of…something…" He gasped. "Everyone! Quickly, we must go!"

"Yes, that's what we've been trying to say, let's head back to the submarine and get out of-" Jessie started.

"No, not to the submarine! We need to be somewhere else!" Wabbaku said.

They looked at him in confusion. "Somewhere else? But what about making the potion for Mickey?" a puzzled James asked.

"Yeah, what about dat?" Mickey asked.

"That can wait until later! Right now we have something more important to worry about!" Wabbaku insisted.

"More important dan curing me?" Mickey asked incredulously.

"_Much_ more! You remember that slumbering evil I mentioned was in this city? Well, someone is trying to wake it up!" Wabbaku said.

They stared at him blankly. "…So?" Jessie asked.

"So…we should go and stop that someone!" Wabbaku said.

"Why? It's not our problem," James said.  
"Yeah, dat's changing me back before I become a demon for good," Mickey said.

Wabbaku stared at them incredulously. "Not our problem? Of course it's our problem! It's EVERYONE'S problem! If that thing awakens, it will lay waste to the world!"

They considered this. "Oh," James said with a frown. "That _does_ sound bad."

"If it destroys the world, how are we going to conquer it?" Jessie asked in agreement.

"Yeah, Uncle Giovanni won't be too happy about dat," Mickey agreed.

"Chiiiii," Chimecho chimed uneasily.

"I suppose we should do something, then," Buzz said.

Gardenia rolled her eyes. "You think? Wabbaku, what do we need to do?"

Wabbaku concentrated for a moment. "Follow me. The spirits will guide us to the one who is behind this."

They quickly set off. They lost their way a few times due to the rambling and nonsensical nature and bizarre geometries of the city they were in, and more than once got lost in mazes of gravity-defying staircases and what would otherwise have been a perfectly straight hallway with no rooms or corridors branching off of it, because Hyperbeamorea's architects were just that crazy. Thankfully, Wabbaku's spirits were always able to guide them back to the proper path, and eventually they reached their destination: a broad plaza dotted by twisted pillars and grotesque sculptures, occupied by several very unfriendly-looking creatures. The Rockets hid behind a pillar before they could be noticed and peeked out at the disturbing tableau taking place before their eyes.

The creatures inhabiting the plaza did not look like any Pokemon they had ever seen before, or at least, not any _single_ Pokemon. They were bizarre and horrific biological mashups, some sort of twisted fusion of Octillery and Tentacool and Relicanth and Mankey, with far too many tentacles and eyes and mouths for their liking thrown into the mix. The hideous beasts stood in a circle at the middle of the plaza, a strange and disturbing chant rising from their many orifices that sent shivers down their spines and caused Mickey to feel…strange… _"__K'yaloh D'argesh F'ah…K'yaloh D'argesh F'ah…K'yaloh D'argesh F'ah…"_

A smaller circle of the beasts wielding tridents and spears stood within the ring, surrounding a small white thing that looked sort of like a Buneary but clearly wasn't standing in the center of a floor carving that looked a great deal like the serpentine form the Rockets had seen encircling the city on their way into Hyperbeamoria, but smaller and glowing. Much to their astonishment, the not-Buneary wasn't wearing an oxygen helmet, diving suit, or any other sort of protective gear; he was standing on the seafloor as if he had no problem breathing water whatsoever.

"Chiiiii!" Chimecho shrieked in alarm.

"What are those things?" cried an appalled Jessie.

"What are they chanting?" Mickey whispered, feeling a strange sensation in his gut.

"And how is that white Buneary-like thing surviving without a diving suit?" asked the perplexed James.

"Those creatures are Deep Ones, horrible aquatic creatures that shun the light of day and desire nothing more than the destruction of the surface world and the dying of the light," Wabbaku said. "Those words they are chanting are a spell to summon and awaken evil. And as for the white Buneary-like thing…" He frowned. "I have no idea."

"That thing isn't the only out-of-place creature," Buzz said, pointing with a limp wing at one of the pillars surrounding the center of the plaza. "Look!"

They looked. Tied to the pillar was a very tall brown-furred bipedal thing in gray pants, jacket, and hat with a blue-and-black striped tie that looked vaguely like a Lucario or some other sort of canine Pokemon, but clearly wasn't. Just like everyone else in the plaza, he wasn't wearing a diving suit or oxygen mask or helmet, but like the white Buneary-like thing, he resembled the sort of creature one would expect to need one. "Who or what is that?" wondered the puzzled Jessie.

"I don't know, but I like his snazzy fashion sense!" James said admiringly.

"They are beings from another world," Wabbaku said.

"How do you know that?" Gardenia asked. "Did the spirits tell you?"

"Yes…and there's also the fact that they're clearly not from around here," Wabbaku said. "I mean, just look at them. It's kind of obvious."

"What are they doing here?" Buzz queried.

"Let's get a little closer and find out," Jessie said.

"What? You can't be serious! Jessie, just look at those Deep One things! They could tear us apart!" James protested.

"First of all, we'll just get close enough to get a better idea of what's going on, not to be spotted," Jessie said. "And secondly, even if they did notice us, we have a big strong demon on our side, remember?"

"Almost-demon," Mickey corrected her. "But yeah, dat's a good point. I'll do da best I can to protect you guys from dose tings!"

"And while you do that," Wabbaku said. "Perhaps we can ascertain what it is that these Deep Ones are trying to awaken…and how we can put a stop to it!"

They crept around the perimeter of the plaza, using the odd layout of the buildings and sculptures to their advantage, ducking behind them for cover and hiding in their deceptive angles whenever a Deep One thought it heard or saw something and glanced around suspiciously. Slowly but surely, they snuck across the plaza until they were close enough to hear more of what was going on other than the Deep Ones incessantly chanting "K'yaloh D'argesh F'ah…K'yaloh D'argesh F'ah…"

"Sam, do something!" the white Buneary-like thing yelled to the Lucario-like thing. "I don't like the way these guys are looking at me with their cold dead shark-like eyes…their very many cold dead shark-like eyes…sort of like mine, but less adorable."

The Lucario-like thing struggled against his bonds, but to no avail. "Sorry little buddy, but I seem to be a little tied up at the moment."

"Sam, that joke was overdone and in terrible taste! Never make it again!" the Buneary-like thing said angrily.

"Well, it's difficult to come up with better one-liners in situations like this. I'm just about at the end of my rope…oh! There's a good one!" Sam said.

"Eh, you can do better," the Buneary-like thing said, unimpressed. "Get out of there and save me already! I'm starting to get that weird tingly feeling…"

"Then why don't you start wiggling your feet to make it go away?" Sam asked.

"Not that feeling, the other one! You know, the one I get whenever weird evil magical psychic stuff is happening that somehow involves me?" the Buneary-thing said.

"Ohhh, that feeling," Sam said. He frowned. "I thought we were through with that sort of thing after the whole mess with the Devil's Toybox."

"Apparently not! So get me out of here already!" the Buneary-like thing yelled.

"That may take a while, these ropes are pretty tight," Sam said. "Why don't you just kill them yourself, like how you massacred that group of pacifistic Amish sewer boll weevils the other day and ate them on pizza? You don't need my help for that, do you Max?"

Max made a face. "Ew, yuck, they smell like anchovies! You know I hate anchovies. Beside, I have an allergy to sharp pointy things."

"Since when? You use sharp pointy things all the time!" Sam protested.

"Yes, but they're usually not being pointed at me!" Max pointed out.

"Ah, that's true," Sam admitted. "Well, why don't you shoot them, then?"

"Oh yeah, good idea," Max said, pulling a strange metal object with a handle and a long thin cylinder on top out from…behind his back?

"What is that thing?" whispered a puzzled James.

"And where was he hiding it?" Jessie whispered back.

Wabbaku shrugged. "Some things not even the spirits can answer."

Max grinned cheerfully and pointed his object at one of the puzzled Deep Ones surrounding him. "Okay, smile for the gun and say 'die!'"

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," an unfamiliar voice (at least to Team Rocket) said. The eavesdroppers, along with Sam and Max, turned to see a very bizarre creature approaching in some kind of a hoverchair, flanked by a pair of Deep One bodyguards. It was a tall humanoid figure in a sleek two-piece dark suit with a black tie, a pink rosette, and…what appeared to be a fishbowl with a small, orange, sharp-toothed Magikarp swimming in it for a head. Team Rocket stared at this strange newcomer in disbelief. It was even more bizarre than the Deep Ones or this 'Sam and Max,' and that was saying something! "My Deep One friends have very tough hides. They'd need them to survive at this depth, and keep from killing each other with their ritual violence and aggressive behavior. I'm pretty sure they could survive more than a few of your bullets, Max…and while we need you alive to awaken the Leviathan, we don't necessarily need you unharmed, if you get my meaning?"

Sam gasped. "Leaping rodeo clowns riding asteroids through the Grand Canyon while hopped up on illegal Mexican insanity peppers and too much caffeine, it's Mack Salmon, our self-styled archnemesis whom we haven't seen in years that blames us for his being a fish on a fake man's body even though we don't remember turning him into one that seeks to destroy us at all costs!"

"Nice recap," Max complimented him.

"Thanks, I knew you'd probably forgotten him long ago due to your short attention span and terrible memory," Sam said.

"AAAAH! GIANT TALKING DOG!" Max shrieked. The Rockets sweatdropped.

Mack Salmon chuckled as he floated over to the Deep Ones, who bowed as he approached and continued their chant. "It's been a long time, Freelance Police."

"Not long enough," Sam said. "What are you up to, Mack? And what are you doing here, of all places? A bit far from your usual swimming pool, isn't it? Not to mention the fish are a lot bigger here and might be more than happy to make a meal out of you…"

Mack smirked. "Hmmph! The creatures of this world's oceans are no match for my superior intellect. It was easy for me to win the loyalty of my bottom-dwelling friends here…especially since we have a similar goal in mind."

Sam frowned in puzzlement. "What, killing us? But we haven't done anything to the Deep Ones."

"Yet," Max added.

Mack laughed. "What, you believed that revenge against the two of you was my only motivator for being here? Well, you're half-right…but I didn't come here and ally with the Deep Ones to have vengeance for your causing my current condition. Oh no, I'm here because of what you did…" He reached into his collar and pulled out a golden medallion of an eye surrounded by tentacles. "To the Order of Yog-Soggoth!"

Sam gasped. "The Order of Yog-Soggoth?"

"Who?" Max asked.

"You know, that group we defeated in an adventure yet to be released to the general public that tried to utilize the Devil's Toybox and your mysterious psychic powers to summon the elder god Yog-Soggoth and destroy the world?" Sam said.

"Oh, right, those guys." Max frowned. "I thought we finished them off!"

"So did I," Sam said. "But I guess we must have missed one…Salmon, since when were you a member of an ancient brotherhood serving a monster from another dimension with a squid for a head?"

"Since the last time you defeated me, over twelve years ago," Mack said. "After that disastrous affair, I decided to lay low until I could regain enough power for my next plot against you. I learned of the prophecy involving Max and the Devil's Toybox and joined the Order of Yog-Soggoth, hoping that I could use them to have my revenge on you and conquer the world in one fell swoop! Unfortunately, I was on vacation when Yog-Soggoth was summoned, so not only missed my opportunity for vengeance but also managed to be the only member of the Order to survive his defeat."

"That really was inconvenient," Sam acknowledged.

"Yeah, it meant we didn't get the chance to beat you up again!" Max agreed.

"While the attempt to summon Yog-Soggoth was unsuccessful, the Order's eldritch lore informed me that there were similar creatures like him out among the infinite worlds of the Omniverse, so I decided to try seeking out and awakening one of those other ancient evils to use in Yog-Soggoth's place. My travels took me to this world, where I found the Deep Ones in this lost city, trying to revive the dread beast Leviathan…a soul-devouring monster of limitless power and destructive potential created during the ancient Crisis Wars, and sealed away millennia ago in a process that destroyed and sank Hyperbeamoria as punishment for their attempts to control the great beast to dominate the world and because of their bad art."

"That seems perfectly reasonable," Sam said.

"Yeah, especially because of the bad art," James whispered. The others sweatdropped.

"So that's why this city was really destroyed…I knew there had to be more to it than just being a tremendous eyesore!" Wabbaku whispered.

"Well, not much more," Jessie said. "I mean, it's really ugly."

"Chiiii!" Chimecho chimed.

"This Leviathan sounds like bad news…have you heard of it, Wabbaku?" Gardenia asked the shaman in concern.

Wabbaku nodded. "I have indeed…it is part of the spirit lore of my tribe. It is a monster the spirits themselves fear…because it is a creature capable of consuming them!"

"It eats spirits? Yikes! That sounds like really bad news!" Buzz said in alarm.

Wabbaku nodded in agreement. "Leviathan was a living weapon created by the Ruler of Evil during the Crisis Wars by fusing the souls of over a million innocent people into a titanic monster. The method of its creation drove the Leviathan mad, the constituent souls making up its form in constant agony, with the only release from its pain coming when it devoured more souls, adding them to its mass and spreading the suffering throughout its body. When the Ruler of Evil was finally defeated and sealed away, the Leviathan-much like the Ruler's legendary universe-devouring weapon, the Gaiavore—managed to escape capture and it was not until much later that it was finally defeated and sealed away, put into a deep sleep so that the countless dead souls making it up could at last rest and dream in peace…" He frowned. "And to think that it was slumbering here all this time…and now this madmon wishes to awaken it?"

"I take it bad things would happen if Leviathan were to be revived?" James asked.

"Very bad! It would try to devour every soul on the planet, and rend the world itself into pieces!" Wabbaku said.

"Which means…" Mickey started.

"That we have to stop it?" Gardenia guessed.

"No, dat we have ta give it to da Boss!" Mickey said eagerly.

Wabbaku stared at him. "What."

"Yeah, Mickey's right! If we captured Leviathan and gave it to the boss, he could use it to conquer the world, and we'd get a big reward for sure!" Jessie said excitedly.

"We'd get promotions, and raises, and keys to the executive washroom, and mansions, and pensions, and pools full of gelatin!" James squealed.

"…Have you been listening to none of what I just told you?" Wabbaku demanded incredulously. "About how Leviathan is an ancient force of pure evil that must not, under any circumstances, be freed?"

"Not really, no," Jessie said.

"Yeah, we were too busy tinking of all da cool stuff we could do wit' it!" Mickey said. "Like taking over da world. And capturing Team Aurabolt to get back in da Boss's good graces. And eating da people ahead of us in long lines so we can always get da best tickets and stuff before dey're sold out!" Wabbaku's eye twitched, and he banged his head against the pillar they were hiding behind. Gardenia patted his back sympathetically, and they both winced when her thorns scratched his rubbery blue flesh.

"By combining the arcane lore I learned from the Order with the chaos magic and forbidden knowledge of the Deep Ones, I began the process of resurrecting Leviathan, so that I could destroy this world to make the beast stronger, and then return to our world to destroy it and you, Freelance Police!" Mack continued. "You showed up earlier than I expected, however…but my plans have not been hindered in the slightest by your arrival! Not only will yours be the first souls I feed to the Leviathan upon its awakening, but now that I have Max, the foreordained 'Devil's Bunny' in my possession, I can summon the beast much sooner than I had originally planned!"

"There's one problem with that, Fish Flakes," Max said. "If this monster-summoning ritual is anything like most of the other ones I've been part of, you need me to say some kooky magical phrase or something that may or may not kill me. Well, I'm not doing it! Summoning a world-destroying monster is fun, sure, but not if it means I might die, too!"

"Is that so?" Salmon asked. He pulled out a device similar to the one Max had been holding earlier and pointed it at Sam. "Not even if I threaten to shoot your friend?"

"What? No! You can't hurt Sam!" said the alarmed Max. "Only I get to do that!"

"Chant the words of power that my friends are reciting or I will shoot Sam in the head," said Salmon.

"Shoot him? You mean you don't want him to be alive to bear witness to your ascension to godhood or whatever?" Max asked.

"I would, but I'm practical enough to know when it would be best to kill him if it would make things easier for myself," Salmon said. "So, will you say the words…or will Sam die before your eyes?"

"Um…" Max chewed his lip in thought. "Nah, if it's okay with you, I'm not going to say the words. Sorry Sam."

Salmon blinked. "You're not going to say them? You're going to let your best friend in all the worlds die just like that?"

"Mmm…yeah. I guess so," Max said.

"Wow. And I thought I was callous. Oh well." Salmon shrugged and pulled the trigger on his weapon. There was a loud bang which startled the Rockets and sent ripples through the water as a metal projectile of some kind shot out of the end of Salmon's device, the dense water slowing its momentum but not enough to keep it from moving at fatal speeds, and pierced Sam's head…causing bubbles of air rather than blood to spurt from the gaping entry wound as the not-Lucario abruptly deflated and crumpled against the pillar as a crumpled shell of itself. Salmon and everyone else stared at it in astonishment. "What the hell?" the fish-man cried in alarm.

"Uh, Wabbaku, are beings from other worlds supposed to do that when they die?" asked the confused James.

"I don't…think so…" the Wobbuffet said uncertainly.

Jessie sighed wearily. "I'm beginning to wish we'd never come here. This place is so very strange…"

"Whoa! Sam was a balloon all along? I had no idea!" Max said in awe.

Salmon blinked. "A balloon? Wait…but then where's the real-" Abruptly, a weapon much like Max's and his own was shoved into the top of Salmon's tank, slamming the fish into the side of his bowl and pressing its muzzle up against his scaly hide. "Gah!"

"Bet you didn't expect me to use my Boscotech Inflatable Decoy to take my place while I got into position to do this, now did you?" Sam asked smugly, finger held precisely over the trigger of his weapon.

"G-get him! Quickly!" Salmon cried to his startled bodyguards, who quickly thrust their spears at Sam's neck.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Sam warned them as his grip on the trigger tightened, causing them to hesitate. "You can kill me, sure…but can you do it before I turn your boss into a bloody smear and bits of fish food?"

"Ack! Back away, back away!" Salmon yelled. The bodyguards backed off, while the ones in the circle looked over at him uncertainly, unsure what to do. "So you used a decoy…how clever…but how did you get out of the ropes in the first place?"

Sam smirked. "I'll bet you didn't know I have the weasel-like ability to collapse my bones and organs, allowing me to squeeze out of tight spots and through narrow crevices! While you were busy arguing with Max, I slipped out of the ropes and left my balloon buddy in my place."

"…But weasels can't do that," said the confused Salmon.

Sam blinked. "They can't?"

"No, I'm pretty sure they can't," Salmon said.

"Oh. Well…anyway," Sam said, changing the subject. "I knew that Max knew I could do that, so knew his getting you distracted by refusing to say the magic words was his way to give me the opportunity I needed to escape without anyone looking!"

"I didn't know you could do that, Sam," Max said.

There was a pause. "You didn't?" Sam asked.

"No," Max said.

"But I've done it lots of times!" Sam said.

"I must've forgotten about those," Max said. "You know how lousy my memory is."

"Oh," Sam said, looking disappointed and uncomfortable. "Then you thought he was really going to-"

"Yeah," Max said.

"And you were willing to let him…"

"Er, yes," Max said.

"Ah," Sam said.

There was a long, uncomfortable silence. "I was going to kill myself after I'd annihilated the lot of them in a mad frenzy," Max said after a moment. "You know, so we could both be in Hell together."

"Oh. Well. I guess that's something, then," Sam said.

"Well, okay, not right away, but, you know, eventually," Max said.

"Oh?" Sam said.

"Yeah, I mean, I'd have to put the country in order, hand over the office, say bye to the wife and kids, make sure someone would take care of the DeSoto, go around killing some punks and tying up loose ends…you know, last-minute stuff," Max said. "But then I'd have totally killed myself."

"Ah. Good," Sam said.

There was another uncomfortable silence. Salmon coughed. "Um…"

Sam blinked. "Hmm? Oh, right. Salmon, call off your goons and let Max go or I'll send you to the big fishbowl underground, where you can share water with Mr. Spatula!"

"Who?" Salmon asked.

"Our old goldfish. Was made vice-president, turned evil, got killed by a giant robot, came back as a ghost who took over a cult of aqua apes and tried to make a volcano erupt…" Sam said.

"Ah," Salmon said. "Well, I'm rather impressed, Sam, you seem to have outwitted me…" He grinned. "Or have you? You see, when I came to this world, I brought along an old friend of ours…and not just any friend, but…"

"LORNE!" a strange figure in a diving suit declared as he walked into the plaza.

"THE FRIEND FOR LIFE!" several of the Deep Ones chorused.

Team Rocket stared in astonishment at the newest entrant to the scene. From what they could see of his face through the diving helmet, he had pinkish skin, glasses, wavy black hair, and a long nose. In fact, he almost looked… "No way…" James whispered. "Is that…a human?"

"It can't be! They're extinct!" Jessie cried.

"What about Ash?" Buzz asked.

"Oh, he's delusional, everyone knows that," Jessie said dismissively and incorrectly. "Just like Gilbert of Team Pokepals."

"Humans may be extinct in our world," Wabbaku pointed out. "But that doesn't mean it's the same thing in every other world out there. Apparently, they still exist in the world Sam, Max, and Mack Salmon came from…and this must be one of them!"

"Yikes," said Gardenia. "It's even bigger than I thought it would be…and so ugly…Ash didn't look like that when he was human, did he?"

"No, he was shorter," Mickey said. He frowned, wondering how he had known that.

Max gasped, his beady eyes shrinking even more in horror. "No…NO…not YOU!"

Sam gasped as well. "No! Not Lorne-"

"THE FRIEND FOR LIFE!" several of the Deep Ones chanted.

"The over-dramatic obsessive stalker who happens to be one of the few people my little buddy is utterly terrified of!" Sam continued. "I thought we killed him and buried him in a shallow grave in Tasmania!"

"Oh, I got better," Lorne said.

"…Ah," Sam said.

"Anyway, I don't blame you for it. I can't blame you guys for anything. You're my idols! I love you more than life itself! I love you enough to kill…" Lorne said cheerfully.

"That's…that's really great…" Sam said slowly.

"Keep it away…keep it away!" Max whimpered.

"When I came to this world, I brought Lorne-" Salmon started.

"THE FRIEND FOR LIFE!" the Deep Ones chorused.

"Because I thought he might serve some use to me, especially should either of you come after me," the fish continued. "And that time of usefulness has come. Lorne?"

"THE FRIEND FOR LIFE!" the Deep Ones chorused.

"Yes, Mr. Salmon?" Lorne asked.

"I think Max needs a hug…" Salmon said sinisterly.

Lorne squealed giddily. "Oh boy!" He started bounding towards Max, arms spread wide. "Oh, Maaaax! I'm gonna give you a huuuuuuug!"

"No…NO! GET AWAY! GET AWAY!" Max screamed in utter terror, pulling out his weapon and frantically unloading it at Lorne.

The projectiles ricocheted harmlessly off the human's diving suit, then bounced again off the hides of the surrounding Deep Ones, and finally flattened themselves against the ground or some of the pillars. Team Rocket started when one slug came close to hitting them. "Oh Max, thanks for the bullets, but I don't need anymore, I still have a display case full of the dozen you filled my lung with the last time we were together."

"DIE! DIE! WHY WON'T YOU DIE?" Max howled, frantically firing again and again.

"Little buddy, his suit's bulletproof, that won't do the trick!" Sam yelled. He glared at Salmon. "Our friend here's quite vulnerable, though. Call Lorne-"

"THE FRIEND FOR LIFE!" the Deep Ones chorused.

"-Off, or I'll kill you!" Sam threatened.

Salmon grinned. "It's a bit late for that, Sam."

Sam frowned. "Huh?"

"Sam, help!" Max screamed.

Sam glanced up from the fish to see that Lorne had reached Max and was now hugging him tightly, crushing the hyperkinetic Bunearyish-thing against his chest with his surprisingly powerful arms. Max was desperately kicking and clawing at Lorne's suit and helmet, but it had no visible effect. "Oh, how I've missed you, Max," Lorne said happily, rubbing his helmet against Max's face and giving him a black eye. "I'm so happy to see you again…it's been far too long. I don't think I'll ever let you go again!"

His grip tightened, causing Max's face to turn green. "Guh…S-Sam…he's crushing my spine…having trouble…breathing…can't filter water through the gills in my armpits…h-help…help me…" His struggling started slacking off.

"If you kill me, then there'll be nobody to stop Lorne-" Salmon started.

"THE FRIEND FOR LIFE!" the Deep Ones chorused.

"From crushing your 'little buddy' out of love," the fish finished. "So I suggest you remove your weapon from my bowl and give yourself up peacefully before you find yourself minus one partner."

"If Max dies, you go right after him!" Sam snarled. "And then I'll kill Lorne-"

"THE FRIEND FOR LIFE!" the Deep Ones chorused.

"-And the rest of your bottom-feeders!" Sam finished.

"And will that bring your best friend back?" Salmon taunted.

Sam ground his teeth. "…No. Damn you, Salmon!" Reluctantly, Sam withdrew his weapon. One of Salmon's bodyguards took it from him, and the other one grabbed Sam's arms and twisted them behind his back to hold him in place.

Salmon chuckled. "Very good. Lorne!"

"THE FRIEND FOR LIFE!" the Deep Ones chorused.

"You may release Max now," the fish said.

"Aww, do I have to, Mr. Salmon?" Lorne protested. "We were making up for lost time!"

"You can do that later, right now I need Max on his feet and capable of speaking," Salmon said.

Lorne sighed. "Oh, all right..." He put Max down and affectionately rubbed his head. "Don't worry, Max. We'll be able to spend more time together later!" Max shuddered in horror as the suited human backed away.

"Now, Max, where were we? Oh, yes…." Salmon pointed his weapon at Sam. "Say the words of power or I'll kill Sam."

"Nuh-uh," Max said.

"Max!" Sam hissed.

"What? We already covered this, Sam, I said I'd kill myself later," Max said.

"Yes, but I'd rather die at some point in the distant future as opposed to right now," Sam said anxiously.

Max rolled his eyes. "You're such a whiner."

Salmon frowned. "Hmm, if threatening your friend won't work, then what…ah, of course. Max, if you don't say the words, Lorne-"

"THE FRIEND FOR LIFE!" the Deep Ones chorused.

"-Will hug you again," Salmon finished.

"Oh boy!" Lorne said eagerly.

Max went pale(r) with terror. "No! Not that! Anything but that! All right, all right, I'll say the words!"

"Max, no!" Sam cried.

"Sorry, Sam, but I'm more afraid of Lorne-" Max started.

"THE FRIEND FOR LIFE!" the Deep Ones chorused.

"-Than of the apocalypse!" Max finished.

Salmon chuckled malevolently. "Excellent…speak the words, and fulfill your destiny, Devil's Bunny! Awaken the Leviathan from its millennia-long slumber!"

"Right," Max said. "Um…now, what were the words again? Something like…'Fut snek sqwigl sqwigl burd?'"

"No, that's the password to open the mouth of the Egyptian Sphunx," Sam said.

"Oh, right. Then it must be…'omecay onninway the aterways inefay?'" Max guessed.

"No, that's the spell to summon Yog-Soggoth," Sam said.

"Ah. Um…" Max scratched his head. "What words am I supposed to be using, then?"

"Oh for the love of…it's K'yaloh D'argesh F'ah! K'yaloh D'argesh F'ah! The same thing the Deep Ones are chanting!" Salmon snapped, losing his patience.

"Ohhh, right," Max said. "Koala Dagon Feh!"

"K'yaloh D'argesh F'ah," Salmon corrected.

"Kumbaya D'artagnan Fez!" Max tried again.

"K'yaloh D'argesh F'ah," Salmon corrected.

"Komodo Doggie Fatima!" Max cried.

"K'yaloh D'argesh F'ah," Salmon corrected.

"Kabala Dartmouth Foo!" Max yelled.

"K'yaloh D'argesh F'ah," Salmon corrected.

"Korn Dachshund Flu?" Max said.

"No, K'yaloh D'argesh F'ah! K'yaloh D'argesh F'ah! K'yaloh D'argesh F'ah!How hard can it be to say three little words?" Salmon shouted, losing his temper.

"Pretty hard. Pronunciation is tricky, and I have no idea where I'm supposed to put all those apostrophes," Max said.

Salmon sighed. "Fine, fine, let's try it again. Say it with me: K'yaloh D'argesh F'ah!"

"Kiwi Dragon Fork?" Max said. Salmon groaned.

"Is he getting the words wrong on purpose, or is he really that thick?" James wondered.

"I'm…not really sure," Wabbaku admitted. "Whichever one it is, however, it gives us an opportunity."

"To what?" James asked.

"To stop this ceremony before they manage to awaken Leviathan!" Wabbaku said.

"But we were going to capture it and give it to da Boss!" Mickey protested.

"No," Wabbaku said.

"But what about-"

"No."

"Couldn't we-"

"No."

"Would it really be so bad if we-"

"No," Wabbaku said firmly. "We are not allowing Leviathan to awaken. That's final."

Mickey sulked. "Hey, you can't boss us around like that!" Jessie protested.

"Yes I can. We are going to put a stop to that ritual, and that's that. Any complains?" Wabbaku asked.

"YES!" Jessie, James, and Mickey yelled.

"Too bad. I'm not listening to them," Wabbaku said. They facefaulted.

"Chiiii!" Chimecho chimed stupidly.

"So…what are we going to do, Wabbaku?" Gardenia asked timidly, her love for him rekindling…and forcing her to angrily stomp on it until it was ashes again, reminding herself that he was off-limits.

"Max's inability to pronounce the words of power should stall the ceremony long enough for us to intervene," Wabbaku said. "I can stall it further using my magic, but I can only slow down the process, not stop it completely. The spell was underway long before we got here and these 'Freelance Police' arrived, but Max's addition to the ritual is speeding up the awakening exponentially due to his nature as a catalyst of destructive power. If we were to remove him from the equation, the spell would slow down again, giving us a chance to dismantle it completely before the Leviathan can be resurrected."

"So basically, we need to get the little furry guy out of there," James summed up. Wabbaku nodded.

"No problem, I'll just march over dere and kick some Deep One hiney," Mickey said confidently. "Dey may be unArceusly abominations clinging to life in da darkest reaches of da ocean, but I'm almost a demon, which makes me way stronger! Er…doesn't it?"

"Whether or not you are is irrelevant," Wabbaku warned him. "If you went over there, the chaos magic concentrated in that circle would react negatively with your demonic energy and cause a deadly chain reaction. It could destroy us as well as the entire city, overwhelm the protective magic of your hat and transform you irrevocably into a demon, release the Leviathan, or possibly even tear open a rift to another dimension! There's no telling what might happen, except that it most certainly would be bad!"

"Yipe," Meowth yelped. "Dat does sound pretty bad. Guess dat rules me out, den." He found himself wondering if the 'chaos magic' Wabbaku was talking about was the reason he felt queasy, like his skin was crawling and there was something wriggling in his gut, his head pounding with each recitation of those words of power. Was the evil ritual somehow accelerating his transformation? He certainly hoped not, and that the weird sensations he was feeling was just because he'd eaten one too many of Wabbaku's tribal remedies the other night. They always gave him freaky dreams.

"Well, if Mickey can't go over there to beat up the guards, how are we supposed to stop that ceremony?" Jessie asked.

"I think I have an idea," James said. "Let's get back to the sub!"

Wabbaku frowned. "I do not think running from the problem will make it any easier to solve. Leviathan will eventually come for us, no matter where we hide."

James shook his head. "No, no, I wasn't talking about running away, though the idea does admittedly have some merit. The reason we should get the sub is because…" He grinned. "It has a second mode…and as we learned back in training: there's no situation that can't be made better through the use of giant robots!"

"I thought it was that there's no situation that can't be made worse by using giant robots," Gardenia said.

"It's subjective," Jessie said. "Depends on the robot and whether you're using it or it's being used against you."

"Oh," Gardenia said.

"So…which will it be for us?" Buzz asked.

"Good, of course! Just like when we used one to rescue Mickey from that evil Froslass witch!" James said.

"Didn't dat one blow up?" Mickey asked.

"Yes, but we meant to do that," James said.

"Ah," said Mickey. "Are we going to mean to blow up dis time too?"

"Only as a last resort," James said.

Mickey sighed. "Joy…"

"Joy? Where? I don't see her…what's a nurse doing at the bottom of the ocean?" Buzz asked, looking around in confusion. The others facefaulted.

"Hmm…well, I suppose it is worth a shot," Wabbaku admitted. "Very well. You go and fetch the sub, and bring it back here in giant robot mode. I'll wait here."

"Huh? You aren't coming with us?" asked the surprised Gardenia.

Wabbaku shook his head. "If I'm to slow this ceremony down using my magic, I need to be close enough to see what's going on. If I go with you, there's a chance it will be completed before we get the sub and return. My staying behind to delay it may be the only way we can buy ourselves enough time to stop it."

"But we can't leave you here by yourself!" cried Gardenia in alarm.

"Sure we can," Jessie said. "We just have to walk away. Simple as that."

"But-" Gardenia protested.

"Don't worry," Wabbaku reassured her. "I'll be fine. Remember, I wield the power of almost perfect defense…and I am beloved by the spirits, so they will do everything they can to protect me. Go on. You have nothing to worry about."

But for once, Gardenia refused to obey him. "If you're staying, then so am I! You may have the 'perfect defense' and the guidance of the spirits, but you still need someone to watch your back!" she declared

Wabbaku looked at her in surprise. "Are you certain? Should we be discovered or something go wrong before the others return, things may get very bad indeed."

"I don't care. I'm staying here!" the Cacnea declared stubbornly. "Being with you…standing by your side…right now, that's where I belong." And what I'd love to do, always…but it cannot be. So please, give me this last chance, let me indulge my wish to stand by you one last time before you go back to…to her…

"…Very well. If that is your choice, then…" Wabbaku smiled. "I will be happy to have your company, Gardenia." Gardenia had to struggle to suppress her old urge to squeal.

"And, uh, while you two are doing that, we'll get the sub," Jessie said.

"Right. Da sub," Mickey said.

"So, we'll be back in a bit! Try not to get into too much trouble without us," James said.

"Chiiiii!" Chimecho chimed.

"Good luck!" Buzz said.

"You too," Wabbaku said.

"Hurry back soon!" Gardenia said.

"We'll do our best," Jessie said, which did not reassure them very much.

The other Rockets departed. "Do you think they're actually going to come back?" Gardenia asked after a moment.

Wabbaku grimaced. "I certainly hope they do. If not, we may have to take measures into our own hands…and it probably won't end well."

"Yeah," the Cacnea agreed.

They watched Max continue to mangle the words of power for several minutes, while Wabbaku muttered a spell under his breath that Gardenia supposed was his effort to delay the ritual. After a few moments, a thought occurred to her. "Wabbaku?"

"Hmm?" he asked, faintly annoyed that she had broken his concentration. "What is it?"

"How are they going to find their way back without your spirits to guide them?" Gardenia asked.

There was a long, awkward pause. "I did not think this through properly," Wabbaku said.

Gardenia sighed. "Apparently not."

"Kyoto Daikatana Felix?" Max said.

"NO! K'yaloh D'argesh F'ah!" Salmon shouted.

Sam grunted. "This is going to take a while…"

…

Elsewhere…

"Whoa," said an amazed Brodie.

"Bzzbzzbzzbzzz," Marianne agreed.

Bellum smirked at her younger associates. "Impressive isn't it? Welcome to the Convocum Mysticus Fantastica!"

The ice witch, thunder witch, and shapeshifter stared out at the vast convention floor spread out before them, the portal they had used to get to the magical gathering, one of several hundred that had been set up to transport people to the event en masse, at their backs. The space that had been commandeered to house this century's Convocum was a chamber the length, breadth, and height of a small city, with walls so far away it was almost impossible to see them from where they were standing and a ceiling enchanted to look like a starry night sky so high above them that there were actually clouds drifting about in the higher reaches. Almost every inch of the convention hall's floor was covered in sprawling tents, booths, yurts, huts, sheds, cottages with Torchic legs, and even small _castles_ with winding and jagged aisles spiraling and zigzagging through their mass in seemingly nonsensical patterns that were actually all part of some massive spell whose purpose was only known to the Convocum planning committee. The various structures were ablaze with magical lighting, fireworks, illusions, and signs made of thirty-foot high letters of fire all competing with each other to attract the most visitors and convince them to buy the wares or peruse the stock of the myriad spell sellers, alchemists, hedgewitches, and magical corporations who had paid decades in advance for the chance to sell and advertise their goods at the Convocum. Thousands of Pokemon of almost every conceivable species and virtually all branches of magic milled, floated, and teleported from place to place, eagerly examining the available samples and merchandise to learn about the latest magical innovations that might prove most useful in their field of work.

The ground wasn't the only place crowded by Pokemon and booths, either. Even more storefronts and demonstration booths and other venues had been erected in the air, with the wealthiest mages and companies naturally able to purchase the most expensive and desirable patches of skies to put up their tents, lording over all the other conventiongoers from high above. Those who could fly or teleport did so to reach these most exclusive and coveted areas, while those who could not were forced to ride on somewhat less dignified methods of public transportation.

The lights and sounds and illusions and myriad colors flashing and flying and whirling all over the place were almost too much for Brodie, a novice in the field of magic, to take. "This is incredible!" he cried in amazement.

"It is, isn't it?" Bellum said, although there was a sneer of disdain in her voice. "Think of all the power gathered here. Think of all the effort and energy spent on gathering these people here, on making them get along, on helping them to develop their own projects and research…and none of that power is being used to bring order to the world! The majority of these fools are content to use the gift of magic they have been granted to satisfy themselves, to feud with each other, or worse, to help other people! Those who express the opinion that we should use the power we have been given to dominate the Earth, to subjugate the mewling worms created ordinary and weak are treated as an amusing annoyance by most or outright shunned by others…"

"Is that why everyone here is giving you anxious looks and staying as far away from us as possible?" Brodie asked, noticing that all the other mages exiting the portals nearby took one look at them and immediately gave them a wide berth.

Bellum nodded. "They fear the power I wield, and how I use it however I please rather than abiding by stifling moral codes or the guidance of ruling bodies such as the Order of Merlin. It was because of such bigoted closed-mindedness that I was exiled from my homeland of Fichina…well, that and because I decided to start worshipping a fallen god and murdered my family, but those are just trivial details."

"Er, right," Brodie said. "Did that rival of yours have something to do with it? She's supposed to be a Duchess of Fichina, right?"

"A title that was meant to be mine," Bellum snarled. "Fantina Phantasma is responsible for almost everything that has ever gone wrong in my life, for all my greatest failures, humiliations, and personal defeats. But once we have opened the Door beneath Treasure Town and released my master and all the evils of the Abyss upon the world, she will be the first to suffer my wrath..." She smiled. "But since the time for that glorious day has not yet come, I will have to satisfy myself by beating her in this year's grand competition and win the Rod of Merlin at long last!"

"Cool," said Brodie. "Want me to sabotage whatever presentation she's got planned for the big show? Marianne and I could probably mess it up something fierce." The Rotom buzzed in agreement, eager at the prospect of causing destruction and mayhem.

"I appreciate the offer, but no," Bellum said. "There's a magical truce in effect during the Convocum that compels everyone here to, if not get along, at least tolerate each other when at any other time we might be warring against one another. Cheating and sabotage is not only forbidden, it's literally impossible to do."

"Seriously? You mean if I wanted to go kill someone, I wouldn't be able to?" Brodie asked incredulously.

Bellum waved her arm, conjuring an icicle spear, which flew through the air at an Illumise illusionist. The insect yelped in alarm when she saw the ice shard flying towards her…and sighed in relief when it poofed out of existence inches away from her. Shooting Bellum a glare which she magnified a thousandfold into a burning gaze of death using her illusion powers, the Illumise flew away. "That answer your question?"

"Yeah…man, is that lame!" the Ditto complained.

"Bzzzzbzzbzbzzzz," Marianne lamented.

"On the other hand, it means none of my enemies can harm me here," Bellum pointed out. "And neither the Order of Merlin or any other magical governing body present here can arrest me for the various so-called crimes I have committed against them. I suppose it is a mixed blessing, inconvenient but necessary."

"I suppose," Brodie said reluctantly. "So, if we can't sabotage that Fantina bitch's stuff, what are we supposed to do?"

"Nothing but present exactly what we have. It will be enough for the judges to favor me over Fantina, or any of the other competitors," Bellum said, smiling cruelly at the three enchanted silver-barred cages with UV lights set into the tops floating behind them. The vampiric Swalot, Wooper, and Electrike contained within, their limbs spread apart and bound to the sides of their cages with silver chains inscribed with power-draining runes and their tongues cut out to keep them from blabbing any of Bellum's secrets, the existence of the Nihilators, or revealing that they were magical creatures and therefore also protected by the Convocum's blanket truce, glared back at her with defiance, fear, and hunger in their eyes.

"You sure they're enough?" Brodie asked doubtfully. "I mean, from what you've said of the previous Convocums you've been to, Fantina's always got some really dazzling new invention or spell ready to wow the judges and bury you and everyone else in the dirt."

"That she does," Bellum agreed. "However, while a new and innovative spell is always something to celebrate and marvel at, the discovery of specimens of a thought-to-be-extinct species is _much_ bigger news, especially when said species has so many _interesting_ properties of use to magical practitioners from almost every field of study. Not as many as Dragon-types, naturally, but the potential applications for many of the things Tarantulas and I have discovered about these vampires are truly astounding!"

"Astounding enough to impress the judges?" Brodie guessed.

"Most certainly," Bellum said. "And since I've removed their ability to speak, and all forms of mind-reading are prohibited by the truce for privacy issues—including, as I had hoped, the as-yet unblockable 'Dark' telepathy vampires possess—there will be no way for them to tell anyone that they are more than they seem or what sorts of things I've been up to recently. And it's a good thing, too, because otherwise Oblivion's Shadow would never have let me borrow them for the Convocum…and now that they're here, I will at long last be able to begin exacting my revenge against Fantina! Winning the Rod of Merlin is but my first step towards fulfilling my vendetta against her...the latter ones involve lots of killing, something both you and Marianne will enjoy, I take it?"

"Oh, definitely!" Brodie said eagerly.

"Bzbzbzbzbzbzbzbz!" Marianne giggled.

Bellum smiled cruelly. "I had thought as much. But that is something that will have to wait for another day. Right now we have a convention to attend, a prize to win, and a rival to defeat." She snapped her fingers, causing thick sheets of ice to form on the sides of the cages, preventing anyone from making out what was inside. "So, let us be off. We must secure our cargo, make our preparations…and then enjoy the wonders and magic the Convocum has to offer us until the time for our victory is at hand. It only comes around once a century, after all. It's practically a _crime_ to miss out on something as rare and spectacular as this, don't you think?" Her cohorts nodded in agreement.

The trio of evildoers set off into the bustling crowd of the Convocum, their cages drifting obediently behind them, their long-term plans and schemes put on hold…

For now, anyway.

…

Well, sorry this chapter took so long. I've been busy at my jobs and got distracted by work and some new video games. I can't promise the next chapter will be up soon either, but I'll do the best I can.

Anyway, in this chapter Leo finally kissed Lily-which did not go as planned—the joint military forces of Pokemon Square and the Draconian Empire have made it inside Mt. Battle in awesome fashion, _Maria and Draco _has begun while Team Nightshade's friends seek out the sinister Team Perdition, Sam and Max reappear after a long absence, and Bellum and her cronies are up to no good, which shouldn't be a surprise to anyone.

Will Leo and Lily be able to reconcile? Will Team Aurabolt be able to get the next Star Badge from Barbedo and deal with the mysterious Nihilator Admiral? How will the missions of the various groups fighting their way through Mt. Battle go? Will Team Nightshade's play go on as it should? Will the Rockets find their way to the sub and back in time to stop the revival of Leviathan? Will Bellum win the coveted Rod of Merlin? And what's happening to Gardevoir, who was not featured in this chapter? The answers to some of these questions will be revealed next time! Probably. Maybe. We'll see.


	46. Tales of Zero Isle

Sorry for the long wait. I had to write a few pieces for some friends, and again work got in the way. Hopefully, this chapter will be worth the delay.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

To say that Leo took Lily's rejection hard was an understatement.

"Yo-ho-*hic*-and a bottle of root beer on a dead man'sh chesht," Leo slurred as he staggered around drunkenly, a coconut mug flopping about in one hand, its contents sloshing over the sides and splashing into the faces of nearby pirates, who weren't pleased by the drenching, but were too sympathetic to the Squirtle's heartbreak to punish him…yet. And aside from that, watching a drunk make a fool of himself was always loads of fun. "Theeeere'sh a Mankey in my pocket and he'sh stealing all my change, hish shtare ish…ish blank and glasshy…glasshy…glassh-*hic*-y…" His eyes crossed briefly and he started a new song, unable to remember the next line. "Onche my old man shpoke to bad Queen-*hic*-Kyogre, and ashked…and ashked…'Why all this shenshelessh..sensheless…shenseless…senselessh…*hic* fighting? Why can't we men expressh…emoshionsh? *hic*"

Team Aurabolt, Fat Pete, and Molly stood to the side, disturbed looks on their faces. "Wow," Ash said. "He's really upset, isn't he?"

"He just got his heart broken, how do you expect him to be feeling?" Briney snarled.

Tiny shook his head, both out of pity and amusement. "He really can't handle his liquor," he said, chugging down his tenth stein of grog, much to the amazement of the pirates, who could usually only handle six at the most before passing out.

"How much did he drink?" Pikachu asked Molly and Pete.

"He didn't even finish his mug," said the stunned Molly.

"And there ain't even much alcohol in there! That's a _fruit_ _drink!_" Pete cried.

"Well, the power of belief seems to have a great deal of sway when it comes to Leo," Sasha observed.

"A pirate I wash meant to-*hic*-be! Trim the shailsh and roam the shea!" Leo wailed.

"Is it just me, or is his singing actually _better_ when he's intoxicated?" Pikachu asked.

Ash groaned and rubbed his forehead. "This is just great…one of our teammates has vanished, and the other's thoroughly smashed and heartbroken…I have no idea what to do about this."

"We could get them back together," Briney suggested.

_They weren't even together in the first place,_ Dawn pointed out.

"Then we'll push them together! I've been anticipating their becoming a couple for too long to let something like this ruin my fun!" Briney said, causing the others to sweatdrop.

"Well, what are we supposed to do about it?" Pikachu asked.

"Track down Lily, drag her back here, and make her apologize?" Tiny suggested. "We can follow her using our badges…she's not answering our hails, but we should still be able to find her."

"I don't know, mate…she looked pretty shaken up by the blue guy's confession," Molly said doubtfully. "I think she needs some time to herself to sort this out."

"I'm not sure we have that time, especially if Leo continues this spiral of self-destruction," Sasha said.

"Plunder, plunder, how I wonder…how'd you-*hic*-get sho Growlithegone pret-*hic*-ty?" Leo continued singing.

"'Ey, do 'Wooden Leg, Restless Heart!'" one of the pirates shouted helpfully.

"I'm hooked on you-*hic*-baby," Leo crooned obligingly. "But the…the sheash keep ush-*hic*-apart…and there ain't no…ain't no…ain't no eyepatch big enough to cover up my…broken…*hic*…heaaart…" Tears started rolling down his cheeks. "LIIIIILLL-*hic*-LLLYYYYY!" he sobbed, falling on his rump and bawling his eyes out.

"Nice going, dumbass," Pete grumbled, nudging the fool who'd thought that would be a good song to sing in the ribs. (Like there was anywhere else to nudge him?) The pirate in question shrugged apologetically.

"Now he's drunk, heartbroken, and crying. I have even less of an idea of what to do now," Ash groaned.

"Briney, can't you…I dunno, sober him up or something?" Pikachu asked.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Briney asked. "Drunk, he's too unfocused to think about his great disappointment. Sober, he won't be able to think of anything _but_ that."

"It doesn't look like he can think of anything but that now," Sasha pointed out.

"Hmm…point. All right, stand back," Briney said.

The Metang pointed a claw at Leo, eyes glowing. Leo paused, turned green, and abruptly threw up. Then he fell on his back and groaned. "Ugh…"

"Ew," Tiny said.

"I never said sobering him up would be pretty," Briney said.

"Move along, lads, nothing else to see here!" Molly squawked at the pirates, who reluctantly shuffled away, disappointed they couldn't see how this drama would play out.

They cautiously approached the Squirtle. "Leo, how are you feeling?" Ash asked.

"Like my mouth is full of sand, there's a marching band stomping on my brain, and like my heart's been shattered into a million pieces," Leo moaned, staring blankly at the sky.

"Your mouth _is_ full of sand, you're lying on a beach," Tiny pointed out.

"Ah," Leo said after a pause. "That I am." He spat it out.

"And as for the head…" Briney placed a hand on Leo's head and concentrated.

The Squirtle winced. "Ow…okay, that feels a bit better…"

"Of course it does, my hangover remedies are much more effective than the hair of the dog that bit you," Briney said smugly.

"But I never bit him, and neither did Ash," said a confused Sasha. "Although I was tempted a few times when he was still convinced he was Monscrub Fourplank."

"That's not what he…never mind," Pikachu said.

"I don't suppose you have a remedy for a broken heart, too, Captain?" Leo croaked, eyes rimmed red with tears.

Briney shook his head sadly. "Sorry, lad. That one's not in my repertoire."

"I know how to fix hearts that are shattered by other means, but not from love," Ash said, flipping through his book briefly. "I could give you an Aura pulse to make you feel better, but I don't think that's what you need right now."

"And it wouldn't last for very long, anyway," Tiny added.

"No," Leo agreed. "It's not." His lip trembled, and it looked like he was going to start crying again. "I knew it was too early to think she might have felt this way for me…but I knew she liked me, and I _hoped_…" His shoulders sagged. "I guess I hoped too much."

"How long has this been going on?" Pikachu asked. "I didn't know you liked Lily that way. I mean, yeah, there were a few signs, but…"

Leo shrugged helplessly. "Dunno. When I appointed myself her teacher, I made sure to spend lots of time with her so I could get to know her better. As I got to learn more and more about her, I started to like her, and then _like_ her like her, and then…" He sighed. "It's not unexpected, though…to be honest, part of the reason I tried to become such a close friend was because I _wanted_ to fall in love with her…and her with me, hopefully."

"Wait, then does that mean Lily was right?" Ash asked in alarm. "That you were manipulating her feelings to-"

"What? No! Of course not!" Leo cried, a horrified look on his face. "What kind of guy do you think I am? Yes, I was trying to make her fall in love with me…but not for any creepy or greedy ulterior motive! I was trying to break her curse!"

_How do you mean?_ Dawn asked.

"Lily's bound to Giratina, right? And the only thing that can break that bond is an even stronger one. So what's stronger than the tie between god and follower? Simple: love. Honest-to-goodness true love," Leo said. "I tried to get her to fall in love with me so that there would be a bond between us that would replace the link between her and Giratina."

They looked at him in surprise. "…That's brilliant," said an amazed Sasha.

"Why didn't I think of that?" Ash wondered.

"Because you're too besotted with Misty to even consider loving another womon, even to save their soul?" Pikachu asked.

Ash sighed. "Is now really the time for this?"

"Probably not," Pikachu agreed apologetically.

"I figured it had to be real, mutual love to be strong enough to break her curse, so I spent lots of time with her to make my initial feelings of friendship and affection for her become something more," Leo continued. "Like most of my plans, it worked. It wasn't that hard, really, since I was already sympathetic towards and attracted to her-what with her being a cute magical girl and all, one of my biggest turn-ons—so I already had a strong foundation to work on. I hoped it would work the same way for her, too…but clearly that's not the case, seeing as how she's rejected me and run off. Then again, is it really that big a surprise? What could she ever see in me? I'm just a manipulative, greedy, overambitious nerd who knows too much trivia and thinks the world operates based on the principles of video games and TV shows." He paused. "And I'm fat."

"Well, you _have_ lost weight," Sasha said awkwardly.

"Not enough," Leo mumbled, patting his stomach.

"Lad, you're selling yourself too short," Briney said. "You have a caring heart and only want what's best for Lily. You're intelligent, funny, loyal…you'd make a good catch for any lass clever enough to see the real you."

"Though ye could be taller," Fat Pete said.

"And lose the glasses," Molly said.

"And maybe-" Pete started.

"You aren't helping," Pikachu said.

"Sorry," they apologized.

"Then I guess Lily didn't see this 'real me?'" Leo asked bitterly. "I'd thought we'd become closer than that…"

"You have!" Ash said. "Whenever the rest of us are skeptical or deriding your latest crazy scheme, Lily is always the first to believe you. Whenever we're in trouble or separated, you're the person she's worried the most about. She cares about you a lot, Leo. You're probably her closest friend."

"Except for, you know, that voice in her head," Tiny said.

"Closest friend? Apparently not close enough, if she ran away at the very thought of me being in love with her," Leo said miserably.

"She ran because she doesn't know how to respond to your feelings," Briney said. "All her life, that hellbitch of a mother of hers has insulted and beaten her down, convincing her she's worthless and pathetic and will never amount to anything. While we've all done our best to help her realize that's not true—_especially_ you, Leo—the idea of someone feeling that way towards her is almost too alien a concept for her to deal with. To Lily, love is something that happens to other people, something she wants to understand but never really thought she would ever have for herself. To learn that someone felt that way for her, something she'd secretly longed for but never thought she'd ever have…it spooked her. Especially since she still doesn't really understand what love is, let alone how to know when she's in it."

"…And _is_ she in it?" Pikachu asked, staring at the Metang.

"If she's not in love with Leo…I think she could be someday soon," Briney said. "She has strong feelings for him. She just doesn't realize it."

"You're just saying that to be nice," Leo said bitterly.

"…Leo, this is me we're talking about," Briney said flatly. "I don't _do_ nice."

Leo blinked as he realized this, something almost like hope flickering across his face. "Then…I still might have a chance?"

"Once she sorts out her feelings and comes back, I think so," Briney said.

Leo frowned and stood up. "Well, screw that! I'm gonna go find her first."

"What?" said the startled Ash.

"Is that such a good idea?" Sasha asked.

"If we leave her to figure this out on her own, she'll stew in her own juices and might just make herself more confused and depressed, what with her low self-esteem and all," Leo said firmly. "It's me and my impulsive actions that got her feeling like this, so it's my responsibility to help her get out of it. I startled and frightened her. It was too early—_way_ too early—to do something like what I did, even if I wasn't completely in control of myself at the time. I could have just played it off and went along with the handy excuse that I was insane and hadn't meant it…but I didn't want her thinking I'd been lying to her about that later when I eventually got around to telling her my feelings. Instead, I rushed things, because I hoped and assumed that…that she already felt the same way. That was stupid of me. So I have to make up for it somehow."

"Is hunting her down the best way to handle that, though?" Pikachu asked skeptically. "Won't that just make her even more upset?"

"It might," Leo admitted. "But it'll also show how committed I am to her. How willing I am to go out of the way to find her and make her feel better. Even if she doesn't understand what love is or how she feels…she has to understand that what I feel for her is genuine, and that she's more than deserving of it."

Briney nodded. "Aye, that's the attitude."

"If I had just given up the first time Molly refused to marry me, I'd probably still be a single schlump," Fat Pete said wistfully. "But I kept on pushing and pushing until she realized how I really felt for her…and then we got together. Ain't that right, Molly?"

"Aye, though it took a few decades," the Chatot said, pecking his skull affectionately.

"…That's either really sweet or really…something…" Pikachu said, grossed-out.

_Do you want us to come with you?_ Dawn asked.

"If you're determined to barge in on her, it might help for her to remember that all of us care about her too," Tiny said.

Leo shook his head. "No, this is something I've gotta do on my own…and while usually that means I could actually really use all of your help and you should follow me anyway, this is something that just concerns me and Lily, so I really _do_ have to do it on my own. She already knows how she feels about the rest of you. Me, on the other hand…well, if she doesn't know that yet, she will soon enough. And that's why I have to go to her, no matter what the end result will be."

"Even if it makes things worse?" Ash asked.

"That's a chance I'll have to take," Leo said. "Because the longer I let this sit, the worse it might get. If I'm going to do anything, it has to be now, before it's too late."

Briney nodded approvingly. "You're growing up; lad…Lily doesn't appreciate what sort of a mon she has in you. Not yet, anyway."

"I'll try and do something about that," Leo said.

"Um, one question," Pikachu said. "What are you going to do about her father? I'm not sure he's going to be happy about this."

"He isn't happy about most things," Ash pointed out.

"Yeah, but this'll make him _really_ angry," Pikachu reminded him.

"I already emailed him the idea," Leo said. "He hasn't gotten back to me about it yet. You know, what with leading the Draconians against the barbarians at Mt. Blaze today?"

"Oh yeah, that's going on now, isn't it?" Ash recalled. "I wonder how they're doing?"

"I'm sure Dad and Aaron are kicking ass," Pikachu said.

"I want to meet this Aaron guy someday," Tiny said, wondering if his own father was going to be involved too. He still had mixed feelings about him…

"Yeah, me too!" Leo agreed.

"Who's Aaron?" Molly asked.

"An Aura Guardian back home," Ash said.

"Oh, one of those?" Pete said. "We killed a few back in the day…er, but not recently," he said quickly when Ash and Tiny glared at him. "And not anymore! Honest!"

"You'd better not…" Ash growled.

"But, uh, back to Nuken…I don't know yet how he feels about my idea. If it works, it'll mean his daughter's free of her curse," Leo said.

_And that you'll be his son in law_, Dawn said.

"Yeah. Why, is that a bad thing?" Leo asked. Wisely, nobody said anything.

"On the other hand, couldn't he just marry her off to some Draconian aristocrat or soldier and break the curse that way?" Pikachu asked.

"Yeah, but would she love the guy?" Leo asked.

"Is it love that will break the curse, or the bond of husband and wife?" Pikachu asked.

Leo hesitated. "It's a little of both, actually. To be honest, getting Lily to fall in love with me is just the first step of my plan to save her. You see, the curse binding her to Giratina is like a magical contract of sorts, with her soul defined as Giratina's property by the terms of that contract. To break that contract, a new, more powerful one has to be written up tying her soul to someone else…and what is marriage but a formal contract uniting two people's lives together?"

"Huh. Pretty clever…" Tiny said.

Pete nodded. "I'm no lawyer, but that makes sense to me!" Briney considered making a joke comparing pirates and lawyers, but decided it would be in bad taste so stayed silent.

"However, it can't just be any old marriage, since the contract to Giratina is magical, so more magic will be needed to break it," Leo said. "But love is a kind of magic all its own, therefore a marriage based on love will be strong enough to destroy her curse, while one without love won't, because there won't be any magic in it. I think."

_I suppose not,_ Dawn admitted.

"You've really planned this out," Pikachu said, rather proud of the Squirtle.

"I think he may have a point," Ash said. "Bonds and vows are an important part of being an Aura Guardian. If you make a promise but there's no heart in it, it doesn't really mean anything. So…I guess if you marry someone but there's no love, it doesn't count?"

"Well, it counts legally," Briney said. "But no, it doesn't count where it matters most."

"Which is why I've been working on getting her to love me for a while now, and why I didn't bring up my idea to her sooner," Leo confessed. "Because if she married me because she thought it would break the curse, not because she loved me…well, I don't know if it would work."

"That makes sense," Sasha said.

"Aye, it probably wouldn't," Molly agreed.

"Then we won't tell her about this. That way, when the time is right, you can do what you need to do…and win her heart as well as free her from Giratina," Ash decided.

"Thanks, guys," Leo said, smiling in relief. "Your approval means a lot to me."

"Does that mean you guys will get married along with Daddy and Mommy and Other Mommy and Uncle Pikachu and Aunt Dawn and all those people I've never met in Pokémon Square?" Tiny asked innocently, causing Ash and Pikachu to flush.

Leo smirked. "We'll see. It's a bit too early to tell, don't you think?"

"Ooh, ye're getting married?" Molly asked Pikachu eagerly.

Pikachu sweatdropped. "Well, um…"

"Yeah, he's getting married to the ninja Buneary," Leo said. Dawn nodded.

"Against my will!" Pikachu said. Dawn gave him a hurt look. "Well. I mean. Er…not _entirely_. It's…complicated…"

"What fun! Can we come? We haven't had a wedding in a Houndour's age!" Fat Pete said excitedly. "Why, I think the last one was…ours, wasn't it, Molly?"

"Aye, that sounds about right," the Chatot said. "And we didn't even get a proper honeymoon for that one."

"We went to the other side of the island for a month," Pete said.

"We go to the other side of the island all the time! There's nothin' special about that!" she squawked.

"Well, maybe you can have a proper honeymoon now that you can leave the island?" Sasha suggested.

"Suppose so. Kinda late for one though, ain't it?" Fat Pete said.

"It's never too late to have your first honeymoon. Or your second," Briney said wistfully. "Well, unless you're divorced. Or your spouse is dead. Other than that, though."

"Hmm. Maybe we will, then," Pete said.

"Where're ye heading fer yer honeymoon?" Molly asked Pikachu and Dawn.

Pikachu flushed and Dawn glanced at him. "We, um, haven't decided. I mean, that's…a little far into the future, isn't it?"

"It's never too early to plan a honeymoon, either," Briney said. "Well, unless you haven't actually proposed yet. I mean, you could plan it out anyway, but that's sort of creepy." Leo fidgeted and decided not to mention he had been thinking of taking Lily to see Ameroupe if/when they got hitched.

"And ye're getting married too?" Pete asked Ash.

"No!" Ash said.

"Yes," everyone else said. Ash gave them an exasperated look.

"Who to?" Molly asked.

"Um," Ash said.

"My mommy," Tiny said happily.

"We haven't really decided that yet…" Ash muttered under his breath.

"Ye had this poor child outta wedlock? Shame on ye!" Pete scolded Ash. "It's no joy to go through life being a bastard!"

Ash sweatdropped. "…I find it rather odd that I'm being lectured on this by a pirate who's probably sired at least a half-dozen kids whenever you were on shore leave."

"Nah, Molly wouldn't let me," Pete said.

"…Wait, wasn't this when you were alive?" Pikachu asked in confusion.

"Yeah, why?" Molly asked.

"What, ye didn't think we didn't get together until we were stranded here for two thousand years, did ye?" Pete asked.

Their eyes bulged at this information. "I really did not need that mental image…" Pikachu said.

"Neither did I," said a grossed-out Briney, who was getting everyone else's mental images, as usual.

"How-" Sasha started.

"Tiny's not Ash's only bastard offspring!" Leo shouted to change the subject. "He has at least three others that we know of. With another womon."

Ash flushed and Molly gasped. "Shame on ye! I thought Aura Guardians were supposed to be virtuous and mononucleosis and all that!"

"That's monogamous," Pikachu said.

"Whatever! Petey, slap him for me, will ye?" Molly asked.

"Okay." Pete slapped Ash.

"Ow!" Ash winced. Being slapped by a bony palm hurt.

"If it counts at all, Ash is probably going to marry that other womon too," Pikachu said.

"I am…well…I mean…we'll see," Ash said awkwardly.

"That's kosher now?" asked the confused Pete.

"Where we come from, yes," Pikachu said.

"Oh. All right then," the former human said.

"That doesn't excuse ye fer taking this long to get around to it! Ye should have married whoever it is a long time ago! Shame on ye!" Molly scolded.

Ash facepalmed. "Weren't we talking about Leo and Lily's relationship just a minute ago? How did we get onto the subject of my…relationships?"

"The same way we always lose track of our previous subjects of discussion," Briney said.

"What's that?" Tiny asked.

"We have short attention spans, I suppose," Briney said.

Ash sighed. "Yeah, that sounds about right."

Leo snapped his fingers. "Right, Lily! I've gotta go find her and try to patch this up."

"You sure you don't want us to come with you?" Pikachu asked.

"Thanks but no thanks, like I said, you'd only get in the way. This is something I've gotta do on my own," Leo said. He glared at the pirates nearby who were trying to pretend they weren't eavesdropping. "And that means nobody can follow me just to watch how the drama plays out, either, got it?"

"Awww," the pirates groaned in disappointment.

Leo took off his badge and flipped it open. "Okay…according to this, Lily's somewhere to the northeast of here. I can probably follow the shoreline to get there."

"Ooh, then she's probably in that nice little inlet a couple miles from here," Pete said. "It's a popular place to go whenever someone wants to be alone." He frowned. "Except lots of people usually go there at the same time, so it's not that effective…"

"Sounds like a good place to start," Sasha said.

"But what're we supposed to do while you're gone?" Tiny asked. "We can't get the next Star Badge without you or Lily, can we?"

_We could, but it would probably be a bit more difficult,_ Dawn said.

"We could go back to partying," Briney suggested. "I was having a pretty fun time."

"Sounds good to me! We always love a good party!" Pete said eagerly.

"I'm not sure now is really the best time for it," Pikachu said doubtfully. "I mean, we still need to get the badge from your captain, get off this island, deal with the Nihilators looking for us…"

"Oh, ye can do all that later! Why don't ye just unwind fer a change and have a good time?" Molly asked.

"Pikachu doesn't know how to unwind. He never relaxes," Leo said.

"That's not true!" Pikachu said sharply.

"Yes it is," Sasha said.

"Yeah, when's the last time you chilled out and had fun?" Ash asked.

"Well, um…" Pikachu hesitated, trying to think of an example and failing. He looked to Dawn for help.

She shrugged. _You've been this tense and wound up as long as I've known you, Master._

"Which hasn't been very long," Pikachu pointed out.

_Long enough,_ she said.

Pikachu sighed reluctantly, giving in. "Well…considering everything that's happened so far, I suppose it wouldn't hurt to take a short rest. And besides, if we're going to confront Barbedo about that Star Badge, it would probably be easier if we were back at full strength and had Lily's magic to help out."

"Cool!" Leo said. "Hey, you guys'll save a dance for Lily and me, won't you?"

"Sure thing," Molly assured him.

"Great," Leo said. "Then I'll just grab her and be back in a jiffy, while you guys hang out, kick back, and watch Tiny drink excessive amounts of alcohol."

They turned to see Tiny was guzzling down the contents of an entire barrel labeled 'Grog Blaster' while the pirates chanted, "Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!"

"The little 'un's sure got good tolerance for a kid his age and size," Pete said, impressed.

"Shouldn't you be stopping him right about now?" Briney asked Ash.

The Lucario swore and ran towards his foster son. "Tiny, put that thing down right now! There's no telling what's in that!"

"Kerosene, propylene glycerole, artificial sweeteners, sulphuric acid, rum, acetone, red dye #2, scumm, axle grease, battery acid, and pepperoni," Leo guessed.

Molly and Pete gave him impressed looks. "Wow, how'd ye know that?" Pete asked.

"Yes, you aren't even wearing your sunglasses," Sasha pointed out.

Leo shrugged. "I read the recipe somewhere."

"What? Where? It was supposed to be a secret!" protested the alarmed Pete.

"Apparently not," Pikachu said.

"Well, it _has_ been two thousand years. There's no reason somebody couldn't have reinvented it eventually," Briney said. "Hmm, maybe I should try some, it sounds…titillating."

…_That is not a word I ever thought I would hear come out of your mouth,_ Dawn said.

"Me neither," Briney admitted.

"Well, ye may know the secret recipe for our Grog Blaster, but ye'll never guess what's in the Yellow Beard's Baby!" Pete said smugly.

"One jigger of vodka, one jigger of rum, the juice of three lemons, five milliliters of phenylalanine, and cilantro, shaken and served with ice?" Leo guessed.

Molly squawked in alarm. Pete frowned. "The Bloody Stump?"

"Three cups of rum, two teaspoons of sodium pentathol, one jigger of gin, one jigger of vermouth, three cups of tomato sauce, and cilantro blended in a lead container and served warm with half a raw potato for garnish," Leo said.

"Rum Surprise?" Pete pressed.

"One barrel of rum, two flasks of warmed rum, one jigger of rum, three shots of rum, one teaspoon of vermouth, and cilantro seasoned with rum to taste," Leo recited.

"…That's a lot of rum," said a disturbed Pikachu.

"Why do you think they call it Rum Surprise?" Briney asked.

"What's the surprise?" Sasha asked.

"That there's anything other than rum in it," Briney said.

"The Swamp Zombie?" Pete demanded, getting desperate.

"One bucket of mud, one jigger of whisky, two teaspoons of iron fillings, one Zubat, two egg whites, a dash of mocha, nine milligrams of penicillin, a dash of snot, and cilantro," Leo said.

"Ew," said a disgusted Pikachu. "Who'd drink that?"

_Tiny?_ Dawn suggested.

"Other than him," Pikachu said.

"I might," Briney said. They stared at him. "What? I'm made of metal. I have a very resilient stomach. I can consume just about anything without throwing up."

"How did you know all that, Leo?" Sasha asked.

"I have waayyyy too much time on my hands," the Squirtle said. The Absol nodded, easily believing that.

Pete sagged. "Oh, bloody hell…if whatever scurvy bloke leaked our secret recipes hadn't probably been dead for over two millennia and I weren't a pacifist now, I'd gut him and use his garters for gizzards."

"And feed me his eyeballs?" Molly asked.

"What is it with you and eyeballs, womon? It's creepy is what it is," Pete complained.

"What? I like eyeballs. Nothin' wrong with that," Molly huffed, ruffling her feathers. Well, the feathers she would have had if she weren't a skeleton, that is.

Ash walked over, forcibly dragging Tiny. "I thought we were over this, young mon," he scolded the Larvitar.

"No, I'm over eating things off the ground. I never said anything about drinking stuff," Tiny said.

"Well, you are now. Stopping, that is. Drinking alcohol, I mean," Ash said. "Not only are you too young, but it's bad for you!"

"So's fighting, and you let me do that," Tiny pointed out.

Ash paused. "Yes. Well. Fighting is a useful technique, and will save your life. Drinking alcohol will not."

"What if a Star Badge was the prize for a drinking contest, or I had to out-drink some guy to save you and everyone else?" Tiny asked.

"Then we'd have Briney do it instead," Ash said. "He's older and more experienced."

"Yeah, but he could probably out-drink me," Briney said.

Ash blinked. "Really?"

"Well, maybe. I haven't tested his limits yet," Briney admitted.

"Ooh, there's something to do! A drinking contest! It'll be loads of fun!" Pete said eagerly. The pirates within earshot seemed to agree, and quickly started setting up tables and rolling barrels across the sand.

"I'll pass, if you don't mind," Pikachu said.

_I thought samurais drank lots of liquor,_ Dawn said.

"Not me," Pikachu grunted.

"Oh cool, I've totally gotta see this!" Leo said.

"Uh, Leo? Lily?" Ash reminded him.

Leo blinked. "Huh? Oh, right. Darn, and that sounded like it'd be a lot of fun…but Lily's more important. I've dawdled long enough, it's time I found her!"

"Yes, and while you're doing that apparently we'll be drinking our asses off rather than doing anything productive," Pikachu said deadpan.

"I know, won't it be great?" Molly asked. The samurai sweatdropped.

Unfortunately, the party would have to be put on hold, because another emergency was about to become apparent that would force the pirates to delay their merry-making yet again. A skeletal Ambipom scampered across the beach towards them, an urgent look in its eerie red eyes. "Ahoy, bosses! We've got trouble!" The heroes instinctively tensed and reached for their weapons, worried that danger was brewing. Sasha could already feel it growing in the near future.

"What sort of trouble, Six-Hands McGee?" Molly asked in concern.

"It's the Cap'n! He's got a message for ye!" McGee said.

Molly and Pete looked at each other in alarm, and the other pirates started whispering in surprise and worry. Sasha's hair started standing up, letting the rest of the team know that their suspicions something bad was about to happen were spot-on. "The Cap'n? But…he hasn't sPokén to the likes of us for centuries," said the worried Molly.

"Aye, we haven't seen or heard from him in ages!" Pete agreed. "What could possibly have driven him to take notice out of the outside world again, after so many decades brooding on the ship?"

"Maybe the realization that the barrier keeping him trapped is gone, meaning he's free to pillage the seven seas again?" Ash guessed, the blood draining from his face.

"Aye, that could do it," Pete said, equally worried.

McGee nodded. "He wants us to start packing and be ready to set sail within an hour…he says there's a whole new world out there ripe for the taking, and he's very much looking forward to seeing what sorts of prizes he can claim from a world foolish enough to have forgotten the name of Barbedo!"

"Oh dear…" Molly said.

Pete sighed. "Looks like our peaceful lifestyle is at an end, lads…"

"Why? I thought you guys said you weren't interested in piracy anymore," Pikachu asked. "Couldn't you just tell him you don't want to go?"

"What? Turn down the Cap'n? Don't be preposterous!" Pete scoffed.

"Aye, we could never go against him," Molly pointed out. "If he wants to resume the pillaging and plundering and slaughter, then we got no choice but to go with him, no matter what our feelings be on the subject."

"Couldn't you always mutiny? There's more of you than him," Briney pointed out.

"And you've got the whole immortal undead thing going, so it's not like he can kill you," Ash added.

"Yes, but…there are worse things than death," Pete said anxiously. "Just ask Blackboots Bill…well, ye could, except he ain't here no more…"

"And besides, the Cap'ns always been the strongest of us," Molly said. "Not to mention he commands the loyalty of Polly. As long as he has Polly fighting on his side, he's pretty much undefeatable."

"Is that so?" Leo asked, looking unimpressed. "We've managed to beat the supposed undefeatable on more than one occasion, haven't we?"

Briney nodded in agreement. "Aye, a two-thousand year-old pirate and some crusty Chatot shouldn't put up much of a challenge for the likes of us."

"Oh, Polly ain't a Chatot, Mister…" Pete whispered. Briney blinked, perplexed.

"Pete, Molly. If we were to fight Barbedo and win, what would happen?" Ash asked.

"Well, by the pirate code, I guess that would make ye Captain," Molly said.

"But ye can't defeat Barbedo! He's invincible!" Pete protested.

"So was Yamatorochi, but we defeated him sure enough," Pikachu said.

"Yama-who?" asked the confused McGee.

"Never mind, it was after your time," Briney said.

"Look, you guys said you want to go back out to sea again, but not to kill or loot or any of that anymore, right?" Ash said.

The skeletons nodded. "Pretty much, aye," Pete said.

"So if we defeat Barbedo and become Captain in his place, that means we'll get his ship…and we could take you off this island and maybe appoint one of you in charge so you can go off and see the world while we resume our quest," Pikachu suggested.

"Ooh, or even better, we could _keep_ them! I'll bet an unsinkable ship crewed by a bunch of unkillable pirates would be a big asset against the Nihilators!" Leo said eagerly.

Briney nodded in agreement. "Aye, I'd like to see those blighters deal with the likes of our new friends here!"

"They would certainly be useful to have around," Sasha admitted.

_Rather conspicuous, though,_ Dawn commented.

"…You…you really think you could beat the Cap'n?" Molly asked, something akin to hope gleaming in her eyes.

"Sure," Ash said confidently. "What's an immortal undead pirate and his sidekick compared to some of the monsters we've beat down? We can handle Barbedo!"

"And if not, we've always got root beer to fall back on," Leo said.

"I'll make ye pay for that someday…" the Duskull whose face Leo had melted off snarled from a safe distance.

"Then…we may still have a chance," Pete said. He turned to address the pirates that had gathered around them. "All right! All hands, get yer things together and prepare for departure! One way or another, we're getting off this island and seeing what the seas of this new age have to offer us!" The undead crew threw up a great cheer.

"And while they're doing that, we'll take ye to see the Captain," Molly told Team Aurabolt. "If ye win, ye'll become Captain in his place and take charge of the ship and the rest o' us, so we can all get off this place for good."

"And if ye lose, we'll tell the Captain we brought ye here for him to execute and deny we were ever plotting against him, getting back into his good graces" Pete said. They gave him appalled looks. "What? I'm a pirate! Of _course_ I'm gonna backstab ye to save me own bones if I think I can get away with it! What d'ye expect?"

They sweatdropped. "Well, at least you're being upfront about it…" Pikachu grumbled.

"Typical pirate…" Briney said with a sigh.

"This is so cool! We're gonna fight the evilest pirate who ever lived!" Leo gushed.

"No, _we're_ going to fight the evilest pirate who ever lived," Ash said, flipping his badge shut. "You're sitting this out."

Leo blinked. "What? Hey, if this has anything to do with my breakdown earlier, I'm still perfectly capable of fighting!"

"I don't doubt that, but that's not why you're coming with us," Ash said. "Lily's still not responding to my calls. While we may be able to defeat Barbedo without her, her magic will probably make it a lot easier. I want you to find her, resolve whatever problems have sprung up between the two of you, and get her back here to help. Can you do that?"

Leo blinked, and then stood up straight. "Well, yeah, no problem! But…you do realize this is a totally transparent attempt to get me out of the way just in case my current emotional state becomes a liability, right?"

Ash blinked as the others sweatdropped. "Was it that obvious?"

"Yeah, but I'm going to go along with it anyway," Leo said. "While I'm totally stoked about fighting a pirate…as I said before, making up with Lily's more important than satisfying a lifelong fantasy of mine. I know I need to find her, not just for me, but for the team, because while I know you guys can do well without us, she'd never forgive herself if she found out that you guys got hurt while she wasn't there because she was too busy having a fit. The whole of Team Aurabolt is more important than what's going on between her and me. She knows that just as well as all of us do. And that's why I need to tell her what's going on, too…because if she's not getting our messages, she can't know what's going on and she'll blame herself if something goes bad because she wasn't here. I can't let that happen!"

Pikachu found himself smiling. "You know, it's when you say things like that I realize you aren't half as immature as I think you are."

"Thanks…I think," Leo said.

"I guess it's just the six of us, then, against Barbedo and Polly," Ash said.

"Assuming Leo and Lily don't make it back in time to help out, anyway," Briney said.

"Unless you or any of the others will help us?" Sasha asked Pete and Molly.

They shook their heads. "Go up against Barbedo? No way, we're too scared of him to do that," Pete said.

"And loyal," Molly admitted. "He's by no stretch of the imagination a good man, but…even when he's being a total bastard, he's always done right by us, the way a true captain should. I mean, okay, sometimes he gets a bit rough with punishments, but hey, we're pirates, what do you expect? It's not like we can't take it."

"And he only does it because he cares," Pete said.

"…Er, right," Pikachu said, deciding he didn't want to touch that subject. "Well, at least you're willing to go behind his back to help us."

_Though will they turn on us to put him back in power?_ Dawn wondered suspiciously.

"Eh, depends on which way the wind blows," Pete said when Dawn's question was translated for him. This did not reassure them.

"I suppose it is something we'll have to deal with when we get there," Sasha said.

"And right now what we have to deal with is Barbedo," Ash agreed. "Leo, go look for Lily. Pete, Molly? I think it's time we met the so-called 'Pirate King…'"

…

Elsewhere on the island…

While Team Aurabolt gearing up for their battle against the legendary pirate lord, their missing eighth member was oblivious to her friends' plans or their attempts to contact her, lost in replaying Leo's kiss and the last words they had exchanged over and over again, trying to decipher the meaning of the things he had said…and figure out why she reacted the way she did, or how she felt about it. For the dozenth time, she glanced at her badge, which she had taken off and set down on a rock next to her. The diamond stud was blinking, indicating her friends were trying to reach her. She grimaced and looked away from the communicator. While she knew they meant well, at the moment she wasn't sure she wanted to talk to any of them. Especially not…_him._ Not until she understood why she felt so…so _conflicted,_ anyway. She supposed it was selfish of her to have removed the badge and cast a silence charm on it to keep it quiet, especially if they were trying to tell her something important, but a selfish part of her pointed out that if it were really that big a deal, they could always come find her. It wasn't like it would be especially difficult; they could just home in on her badge. When she had first taken it off, she had considered leaving it in a safe place and going somewhere else so she could think this through privately without fear of being disturbed, but her conscience (and B, though the two were not necessarily mutually exclusive) told her that that would be an incredibly heartless thing to do that would only cause her friends to worry even more than they probably were right now. A pang of guilt ran through her as she realized this.

_You should go back,_ B said. _Or at least talk to them._

_I can't_, Lily replied. _Not until I understand why he said what he did. Why he…why he kissed me. Why he…_loves_ me._

_What's there to understand?_ B asked, puzzled. _He kissed you and he said he loves you. Seems simple enough to me._

_But what _is_ love? Despite everything I've seen and experienced so far, I still don't understand what that is,_ Lily said in frustration. _Or why…why he could possibly feel it for…me…_

A frown on her face, she looked out at the sea surrounding Zero Isle, the waves crashing against the black rocks and cliffs of the inlet she was hiding in, flecks of seaspray flying into her face and causing her to flinch as the waters receded, only to return with the next tide, going in and out, in and out. Tidal pools emptied and refilled rapidly as seawater splashed into them and poured out just as quickly, briefly exposing the barnacles and coastal Pokémon that called this place home before covering it back up again. Krabby crawled around, grumbling at each other and scavenging for trinkets to decorate their homes with. Staryu plastered themselves against the rocks, gemstones pulsing warmly. SlowPoké yawned, staring vapidly out at the ocean, seemingly uncaring that the barrier that had sealed them and their kin on the island for centuries was now gone. A mother Pelipper emptied her bill to feed her hungry Wingull children in a nest high atop one of the cliffs. Life continued all around Lily, ignorant and uncaring of her personal dilemma. It made her feel rather small and insignificant, but she usually felt like that anyway, so it was nothing new. _The world is such a vast and wonderful place, full of such remarkable people,_ she marveled. _And if what Leo feels for me really _is_ love, whatever that is…why, out of all the other Pokémon inhabiting this world, did he choose to fall in love with me?_

_Why not you? You've got lots of good qualities,_ B said. _You're kind and compassionate, you care deeply for other people and are devoted to your friends, you're intelligent and eager to learn more about the world and other people, you know magic and lots of interesting ways to use it…_ B said.

_And I'm about three hundred years older than him, undead, have committed numerous atrocities and killed dozens of people under my mother's yoke, and my soul is condemned to the Abyss, where Giratina will torture me for all eternity and use my powers to escape to this world and destroy everything I've grown to care for,_ Lily said sadly.

…_Well, okay, there's that,_ B admitted. _But everyone else is willing to look beyond your sins, and you yourself are actively trying to repent for your past deeds. Additionally, they're also working hard to find a way to free your soul from Giratina._

_No, _Leo_ was working on a way to free my soul,_ Lily said. _And now I'm not sure I can believe anything he says…now I can't help looking at everything he's ever said to me with doubt and suspicion. Did he mean everything he told me? Or was he just saying things to make me feel a certain way?_

_He's certainly smart enough to do that, but it's not something he would do to you,_ B said. _He's your friend, Lily. You know that!_

_But friends don't kiss each other! Do they?_ Lily asked in confusion. _I mean, because if they do, then they aren't friends anymore, they're something…else. Something I don't understand. And I don't want to be that. I'm still just grasping what it means to be a friend. How can I possibly be anything more, especially if I don't even know what love is? And if I did…how do I know that I feel it for him? How do I know I _should_ feel it for him, or anyone else? I'm just…so confused and uncertain._

_Love is a wonderful thing,_ B said. _You should be happy Leo feels it for you, not afraid._

_How do you know?_ Lily asked. _Have you ever been in love? Can you tell me what it feels like…and how to tell if I'm experiencing it for someone else?_

…_I've never actually been in love, _B admitted. _Not yet, anyway. But I've seen it between my parents, and many of my friends._

_That's not the same, though,_ Lily said. _I've seen how Briney feels about Peeko, and how Ash feels about Misty, and how Pikachu and Dawn feel about each other…but I don't know if I feel that way or not!_

_Why not? Don't you like Leo?_ B asked.

_Of course I do. He's one of my best and closest friends, _Lily said.

_But…_ B prompted.

_But I don't know if that's love,_ Lily said. _And if it is, I…I just don't know. The implications terrify me._

_Well, I don't know how much I can help you there,_ B confessed. _As I said, I've never been in love. In my world, it's a lot easier to tell, though…if you're in love with someone, you just know it, and if someone loves you, you know it too._

_It's as simple as that?_ Lily asked in surprise.

_Of course. All living things are connected. The people in my world are just able to make out those connections a little better than the people in yours,_ B said.

_Then can you make out my connection to Leo…and tell whether what's between us is really love?_ Lily asked hopefully, though she wasn't sure what it was she was hoping for.

_I'm afraid not,_ B said apologetically. _You're too far from my world. I can make out the connection between us easily enough—it's how we communicate—but with others, like your friends, it's not as easy to see._

Lily sighed. _Tell me about it._

_But from what I've observed, I think there's a good chance that whatever Leo feels for you most certainly _is_ love, or at least something close to that, _B said.

Lily moaned. _Really? Then that just makes things even more complicated, because he seems to know how he feels, but I don't have a clue! I'm not sure what scares me more…that he might be in love with me and I'm not, or…or that he might be in love with me, and I love him back. Either prospect terrifies me._

_Why?_ B asked.

_As I've said so many times, because I don't know what love is! I don't know how to react to it. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel. I don't even know _what_ I feel. And if I do something wrong…I don't want to hurt Leo's feelings…_ Lily said despondently.

_Don't you think you already have? You know, what with running off like that after your big argument?_ B pointed out.

…_Oh dear. That hadn't occurred to me, _Lily said.

_Which is why you're going to pick up that badge and head on back?_ B asked hopefully.

_No, which is why I'm going to sit here until I figure out my own feelings and what I'm supposed to do so that I don't do something stupid like that again,_ Lily said stubbornly.

B sighed in exasperation. _Ugh. Why do you mortals always have to make things so complicated? Love is much simpler in my world…_

_I'm not mortal,_ Lily said, puzzled.

_Compared to me, you are,_ B said.

Lily frowned. _What's that supposed to-_

"Excuse me? Miss Ghost, could I have a moment of your time?" somebody interrupted.

Lily blinked and glanced down at the water nearby. A pink heart-shaped fish Pokémon was bobbing on the waves, staring up at her hopefully. "Oh, hello. Who are you?"

"My name is Caserin," the fish said. "And I was wondering if you could answer a quick question. Is this the legendary Zero Isle?"

"Yes, it certainly is," Lily said.

"Really! Remarkable," Caserin said in amazement. "I thought it was supposed to be surrounded by an impenetrable barrier!"

"It was, but I lowered it earlier today," Lily said.

The fish looked at her with respect. "Is that so? Wow! You must be a formidable sorceress to have accomplished such a magical feat!"

Lily blushed. "Well…I'm still learning…"

"Is that so? Then I can't wait to see the sorts of wonders you'd be capable of when you're fully trained," Caserin said.

Lily flushed again, and then realized Caserin was a Luvdisc, the Rendezvous Pokémon. She'd never seen one whole and hearty in its own environment before, all the others she'd seen previously had been laid out on her mother's worktables, screaming in agony as the ice witch performed all sorts of horrible experiments and tortures on them. "Well, we'll see…anyway, my name is Lily. What are you doing here, Caserin?"

"I was just passing by and noticed that the barrier around Zero Isle that I'd heard so much about was gone," Caserin explained. "I decided to check it out to make sure that I hadn't gotten lost and that this really _was_ the fabled island and not some other place entirely. I'm relieved to know I'm where I thought I was. Now I can continue my quest without worrying I was going the wrong way."

Lily blinked. "You're on a quest? Oh! So am I."

"Really?" Caserin said, looking surprised. "Well, I suppose you must be, if you'd needed to lower the barrier around Zero Isle. Is there something here you're looking for?"

"Yes, my friends and I are on a journey to collect a series of jewels that can open a portal to the Abyss that will spell the end of the world, and possibly all other worlds, too," Lily said. "We are up against a formidable organization of villains who seek to get these jewels before us to open the gate…and one of them is my mother…"

"Oh my," Caserin said. "And one of these jewels is on this island?" Lily nodded. "Well, I wish you the best of luck on your journey, considering how much is riding on it."

"Thank you," Lily said. "And what is your quest about?"

"Nothing quite so grand as yours, though it matters the whole world to me," Caserin said. "Recently, I fell in love with the beautiful princess Loverin of the undersea kingdom of Aquaris, and asked her father, the stern King Trident, for her fin in marriage. Had he been a Luvdisc, he would have recognized our feelings as true love and granted my request at once, but since he was a Seaking, he had no such assurance or faith that my love for his daughter was real, so set me a great task to prove myself worthy of her."

Lily frowned. "How would his being a Luvdisc have made things easier?"

"Well, you see, Luvdisc have an innate sense when it comes to love," Caserin said. "It is often why couples seek us out to prove to themselves and to each other that they belong together. We can tell when people are in love with each other, whether that love is strong and lasting…and we also recognize at once when we are in love or loved as well."

_Sort of like my people…_ B commented.

_Wait…if he can recognize when people are in love, then maybe…_ Lily thought.

"Luvdisc often fall in love at first sight with whoever's heart resonates the most with their own," Caserin continued. "The significant other does not necessarily have to be a Luvdisc, but if he or she is one, that makes pursuing their affections a lot easier, since they immediately recognize that we are in love with them and aren't just some creepy stalkers. Since King Trident was not a Luvdisc, he could not sense that the connection forged between his daughter and myself were genuine and long-lasting. He suspected me of trying to use Luverin, of trying to use her position of power and privilege to my advantage…of all the audacious things to accuse me of! Luvdisc have no interest in wealth or control. Spreading love and joy to others and finding love for ourselves is all we care about in this world."

Lily winced, recalling how she had, in a heated moment, accused Leo of only wanting those things from her. She had probably been a little out of line… _You think?_ B snarked.

"So, how are you to prove to the King that you truly love Luverin?" Lily asked, ignoring her friend and her own guilty conscience.

"Oh, the usual way. Go on a great quest and risk life and limb and all that," Luverin said unworriedly. "Naturally, I agreed at once. No matter how difficult the task, I would have agreed to partake in it, if only so that Luverin and I could be together."

"You love her that much?" Lily asked in surprise.

"But of course! If the quest to win your love involves something as outrageous as getting the wind to carry you over the sea, then that's what it takes. Love is worth all that, and more," Caserin said confidently, much to Lily's amazement.

"And is that what you're going to have to do to prove to this king that you're worthy of his daughter?" Lily asked. "Get carried by the wind, I mean?"

"Hmm? No, but it'll be almost as difficult," Caserin said. "Somewhere in the oceans of the world there is a place called the Bottomless Sea. At the bottom of that sea is a magical ring of fire. Within that ring of fire is a legendary instrument called the 'Aqua-Monica.' I must retrieve that jewel and bring it back to Aquaris by the next new moon lest I lose any chance of marrying Luverin forever."

"That's terrible!" said a horrified Lily. "I have heard of that instrument. My mother tried to get it once, only to be driven away by the mystic flames and the spirits guarding it. How can you possibly retrieve such a treasure?"

"I don't know," Caserin said. "I just know that I must. I'm not too worried, though."

"You're not? Why?" Lily asked, perplexed.

"Because ours is a love that is meant to be," Caserin said calmly. "And if it's meant to be, then that means no matter what lies in my path, I will persevere in the end, won't I?"

"…You seem to have a great deal of confidence in yourself," Lily marveled.

"No, I simply believe in love," Caserin said. "And I know what exists between Luverin and myself is real. And because it's real…it means that somehow, someway, I will find a way to succeed. Love is the most important thing to my species, and we will do anything, and I mean _anything_ to obtain it, no matter how harrowing or perilous the path to getting that love will be."

"But what happens if you fail? Surely the thought that you might not make it must have crossed your mind a few times," Lily pressed.

"If I fail, I will kill myself," Caserin said. "For if I cannot have Luverin, what else could life possibly have to offer me?"

Lily recoiled in alarm. "You'd kill yourself? Isn't that a little extreme? Couldn't you just find someone else to love?"

Caserin shook his head. "Love doesn't work that way. It might for others, but not for my species. Once you've found your one true love…anyone else pales in comparison. True, you may one day find another should you lose that first love…but will that love be as great or true? Will it be as strong, or will it always be overshadowed by the memory of the love that you have lost? It would be cruel to subject another to that constant second-guessing and comparison to the partner you no longer have…but again, that's just for my species. It works differently for others. Their hearts can survive a great loss like that and learn to love again. Mine cannot. I suppose it is the price we have to pay for our ability to sense love the way we do: that we only have one chance for it ourselves in life. But there are worse prices that one could pay for power, so it is not something I mind so much."

"…I see," Lily said, still not sure she really understood. "Love means a great deal to you, doesn't it?"

"It certainly does," Caserin agreed.

She bit her lip. "Caserin…you said you can tell if other people are in love, right?"

Caserin nodded. "I can indeed. Why?"

"Well…you see, I have this friend-" Lily started.

"By 'friend,' do you mean yourself, or are you actually talking about someone else?" Caserin interrupted.

"Um, well, both I suppose," Lily said. "You see, I have a friend who says he's in love with me. I don't know if he means it, I don't know how I feel in return, and either way I don't know what I'm supposed to do about it. Can you help me, Caserin?"

"Hmm…" Caserin gave her a long appraising look. "Tell me more…"

…

Meanwhile…

"How much further is it?" Tiny complained as he and the rest of Team Aurabolt walked through a dark, dank tunnel, a torch-carrying Fat Pete leading the way.

"Not much father," Pete replied.

"That's what you said five minutes ago," Tiny complained.

"It was two minutes, actually," Ash said.

Tiny blinked. "It was?"

Ash nodded. "Yes. I guess we need to teach you how to tell time, among other things."

"If Leo were here, he'd be able to tell us what time it was with a glow-in-the-dark watch," Tiny said wistfully. "And he'd have flashlights for all of us so we could see where we were going."

"You don't need a flashlight, you can just use Aura-sight," Pikachu pointed out.

"I'm still not that good at it, I can barely see more with it right now than I can with my eyes open," the Larvitar said.

"We'll work on that," Ash said.

"Sasha, how are we doing?" Briney asked the Absol.

"We are still heading straight for the source of danger," Sasha said. "It feels like the deadliest thing on this island is just ahead…"

"Yep, that sounds about right," Pete said smugly.

"Aye, ain't nothing else on this island that comes close to being as tough as Cap'n Barbedo!" Molly agreed.

Briney narrowed his eye. "Is that so? Well, we'll see about that…"

As should be clear by now, Pete and Molly were leading Team Aurabolt to the treasure grotto where the pirates kept all their loot, anchored their ship, and where the dread captain himself made his residence. None of the crew had come down this far in centuries for fear of disturbing the pirate king's brooding and inciting his wrath. Now that the barrier around the island had vanished and the path to renewing their voyage of conquest and bloodshed was clear, however, all bets were off.

"There's a light up ahead," Pikachu commented, seeing the end of the tunnel in sight. A surprising amount of light was shining through the opening, forcing them to squint due to their eyes having adjusted to the dark during the long walk.

"We're underground, aren't we?" Ash asked. "What could be making that much light?"

_Luminescent fungus?_ Dawn suggested. _There's always lots of it conveniently placed in old tunnels and caves like these._

"Nah, we used up all that stuff ages ago trying to create a substitute for opium," Pete said when Dawn's comment had been translated.

"Was it any good?" Briney asked.

"I woke up seventeen years later and found I was living in an upside-down treehouse married to a coconut with about a dozen children and a large extended family," Pete said.

"And I spent six months convinced that I was a Spinda," Molly said. "It was ages after that before I could fly without feeling dizzy."

They sweatdropped. "Sounds like powerful stuff," Briney commented.

"Yeah, really," Pikachu said.

"Tiny-" Ash started.

"I know, I know, if I see any, I won't eat it," Tiny promised.

"I take it you never tried it again after that?" Sasha asked.

"What're ye, kidding? We smoked it for years!" Pete said.

"Aye, had to find some way to pass the time," Molly said. "Two thousand years is a long time, after all. A pirate's gotta find some way to while away the decades, and spending a good chunk of it as sky-high as Rayquaza seemed like a good idea."

"Until we used it all up, couldn't find anymore, and went into withdrawal," Pete said with a shudder. "Those were some very dark days…"

"…Riiiiight. So. If it's not fungus making all that light, what is?" Pikachu asked.

"Oh, ye'll see fer yerself soon enough," Pete said with a sly grin.

A few minutes later, they did.

"Wow," Ash said.

"Holy shit," said Pikachu.

"Shiny…" Tiny whispered.

"A little too bright," Sasha complained, squinting.

_Unbelievable,_ clicked Dawn.

"It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," Briney said, a tear rolling down his cheek.

"Bet ye've never seen anything like this, now have ye?" Molly asked smugly.

They were standing at the entrance to a mammoth cavern at least half the size of Pokémon Square literally jam-packed with treasure. Heaps of gold and jewels were haphazardly scattered everywhere, overflowing from coffers and chests and partially burying numerous statues and other artifacts of exquisite beauty made of all sorts of different materials that were lying all over the place. The glittering coins and gemstones and statuary caught the light filling the cavern and reflected it, making the grotto even brighter and causing their eyes to water as they tried to take it all in. It was more treasure than any of them had ever seen before or probably ever would again. Had Leo been there, he would have calculated the net value of all the loot to be approximately eleven trillion Poké', but he wasn't there, and even if he were, he'd probably have been too busy salivating over all the money to count it all.

The source of the light was a ship anchored in a large pool of water that took up about a third of the chamber…but it was no ordinary ship. To some extent, it resembled the typical Espanish galleon that most classical pirate ships were based off of, but only up to a point. For one thing, rather than wood, it looked as if it was made of some kind of strange golden metal that emitted light as if it were a lantern, the rays shining off its body illuminating the whole cavern. The main body of the ship was more bulky and compact than most sailing ships, but looked big enough to fit a crew of fifty or more, certainly more than enough room for all of Barbedo's pirates. Numerous cannon ports were mounted into the sides of the ship, but it looked as if they were placed on ball joints so could pivot and point in different directions. Other cannons were mounted on the main deck, but they were larger and decidedly nastier-looking than weapons you'd expect pirates originating from the era Barbedo's crew were born in to have access to.

A pair of great fans with blue and yellow stripes extended from either side of the stern, with numerous giant oars made of what looked like solid gold emitting from the rear of the vessel to create a magnificent sunburst. The top of the stern was taller than unusual, with the place where you would expect the ship's wheel to be enclosed in what looked almost like the bridge of a modern vessel or even a spaceship, and on top of that was a deck with a very large trio of surprisingly high-tech cannons pointing rearwards and a large statue of a golden skeleton with a hook and pirate hat from which the main-mast arose, a towering pillar of metal with two triangular sails shaped sort of like the wings of a Zubat made of a strange golden fabric with blue stripes hanging loosely on the riggings and a Murkrow's-nest with a great grinning pirate-hatted gold skull at its peak in place of a flag. A similar pair of sails with a flaming skull painted on the largest one was on the fore-mast, which also grew from a golden skeleton statue. Oddly, there was no visible mizzen-mast anywhere that they could see.

The ship's long extending bowsprit was at least as long again as the rest of the vessel, a magnificent metal piece shaped like a barbed, protruding lance with a small triangular sail adorning the top of it, attached to the top of the fore-mast by a long cable. The bowsprit looked almost like the nose of an immense and monstrous face that the prow of the ship had been constructed to resemble, with fearsome glowing eyes and an immense set of gilded jaws right underneath it. Oddly, a pair of small, rather delicate arms was folded underneath the bottom jaw, and it almost looked as if they were capable of movement. There was a figurehead shaped like a beautiful human woman growing from the underside of the bowsprit, her eyes shut and mouth open as if in song, contrasting the fearsome visage it was sprouting from. A pair of thick golden chains dangled from the joints of the big jaw into the water, presumably leading to the ship's anchors. It was one of the most magnificent things Team Aurabolt had ever seen, and for some reason, it made Ash, Pikachu, Tiny, and Sasha think of Zoro's ship, the _Espada…_but the _Espada _was an airship, whereas this pirate vessel was bound to the sea…wasn't it?

"I think I'm in love," Briney croaked, staring in rapture at the glowing golden ship. "I hope Peeko will forgive me."

"What _is_ that?" Pikachu whispered in awe.

"Ye like it? It's our ship!" Fat Pete said proudly.

"_The Golden Dream,_" Molly said dreamily.

"Not what you'd expect a pirate ship to be called," Sasha commented.

"Why not? We're pirates. We dream of gold all the time," Pete pointed out.

"True," Sasha conceded.

Dawn frowned, staring at the ship suspiciously. _Why does much of it look almost…technological? Technology there is no way they could have had access to two thousand years ago?_ She asked.

Pikachu frowned. "That's a good question…" He translated the query to their guides.

"We were wondering when ye'd notice that," Pete said, blowing out the torch and gesturing that they follow him down a trail winding through the piles of treasure, doubloons littering the ground. "We'll tell ye on the way. And don't touch anythin', the Cap'ns picky about who gets to handle our treasure."

"Good thing Leo isn't here, then," Pikachu whispered to Ash, who nodded in agreement.

"Now, as fer the ship…" Molly said. "Have ye lot ever heard the tale of Pokélantis?"

As most of the others exchanged puzzled looks, Ash stiffened, the word ringing a strange chord in his memory for reasons he couldn't fathom. "Pokélantis? Aye, of course I have," Briney said, recognizing the name. "Every seamon worth his salt knows that old story!"

"Then would you mind filling the rest of us in?" Pikachu asked.

"Certainly. According to legend, thousands of years before the great cataclysm, the world was ruled by two great empires: the island kingdom of Pokélantis, and the floating continent of Lemewria," Briney said.

"A floating continent?" Tiny asked.

_Floating as in it drifted around the ocean, or it flew in the air?_ Dawn asked.

"The second one," Briney said.

"Wait, how did it get up in the air?" Pikachu asked. "And how'd it _stay_ there?"

Briney shrugged. "Dunno. Magic or something."

"I guess that makes sense…I wouldn't mind a more concrete explanation, though," Pikachu said.

"Why? You don't seem to have a problem with Rayquaza's palace flying," Ash said.

"Yes, but he's a god, and it's just a building. A flying castle I can believe. But a flying _continent?_ The amount of power needed to keep something that big in the air is almost inconceivable!" Pikachu pointed out.

"Well, how's this for a concrete explanation? Pokélantis and Lemewria were advanced civilizations with technology far beyond what we've got nowadays," Briney said.

"…How is that possible? They existed thousands of years ago. That would mean everyone would have to have forgotten all the advances they'd made up to that point, then started finding them all over again after starting from scratch," Pikachu said.

"Didn't the same thing happen to the world's Pokémon after the big disaster that destroyed the world wiped out the prior civilization?" Tiny asked.

"Namely, _my_ civilization?" Ash asked.

"…Hmm. Good point," Pikachu admitted.

"Ye're going to need ta tell us more about that at some point, by the way," Pete said.

"Uh, we'll get around to it sooner or later," Ash said awkwardly.

"Anyway, the two great empires were naturally at war with each other for control of the planet," Briney continued.

"Why?" Tiny asked.

"Well, what else were they going to do with their time?" Briney asked. The Larvitar sweatdropped. "Anyway, the fighting went on for ages. Lemewria had the advantage due to their airships and the fact that their capital was in the sky and constantly on the move. Pokélantis was heavily fortified and had mastery of land and sea, but so long as they couldn't match the Lemewrian air forces, they had no chance of winning the war. In desperation, the King of Pokélantis, a greedy and selfish human whose name has long been forgotten, tried to capture Ho-Oh and use her power to destroy Lemewria. Instead-"

"Instead, she destroyed Pokélantis, and the King's soul was sealed in a stone orb in his tomb for all time," Ash finished. His friends glanced at him in surprise.

Briney blinked. "He was? I thought he just got killed. Where'd you hear that?"

"I didn't hear it, I _lived_ it. Before the disaster, I was possessed by the King's evil spirit while traveling on one of my adventures," Ash said. "But after getting blasted by Pikachu—your past self, I mean, not you right now, Pikachu-the King was exorcised from me and re-imprisoned in his tomb."

"…Really?" asked the skeptical Molly. "That actually happened to ye?"

"A _lot_ of things have happened to me," Ash said.

"They certainly have…" Sasha said.

"And I thought _I'd_ lived a storied life…" Briney muttered.

"Then that makes Brodie stealing your identity the second time you've lost your body to someone else?" Tiny asked.

"Unless there are some other times I haven't remembered yet, I think so," Ash said.

"Ye've lost yer body _twice?_" Pete asked incredulously. "Wow, ye really have done a lot, haven't ye?"

"Most of it I don't even remember," Ash admitted. "Not yet, anyway."

_Getting back on subject, what does any of this have to do with that ship?_ Dawn asked.

"And what happened to Lemewria? I mean, it's not still around now, otherwise we'd have heard about it, right? What with it being a floating continent and all," Pikachu said.

"The continent of Lemewria vanished not too long after the destruction of Pokélantis, and the civilization it had created crumbled apart," Molly said. "Nobody really knows why."

"As for Pokélantis…what most people don't know was that Ho-Oh _wasn't_ the kingdom's last-ditch attempt to defeat Lemewria," Pete said. "Just before the fall of the empire, Pokélantis's best techno-mages-"

"Techno-whats?" Tiny asked.

"Techno-mages," Pete repeated.

"Supposedly the ancients were able to fuse science and magic together to create a new power called 'magitech,' or sommat like that," Molly said. "It's a forgotten art, like most things from that long-ago era."

"I bet Leo would love to get his hands on something like that," Ash said. They paused, the consequences of the Squirtle gaining such power flashing through their minds.

"Perhaps we shouldn't tell him?" Sasha suggested.

"That might be for the best…" Briney said.

"Anyway," Pete continued. "The kingdom's best techno-mages worked day and night trying to modify their sea fleet to create a new line of flying ships capable of taking on the best the Lemewrian air force had to offer."

"While they managed to complete a few before the kingdom's destruction, the evil King got impatient with their slow progress and tried to capture Ho-Oh to defeat Lemewria more quickly," Molly said. "Ye already know how that turned out…"

Pikachu shook his head. "And that's why it's a bad idea to be rash…something I've tried to tell Ash way too many times."

"Hey, I know how to be patient!" Ash said. "It just…took some time to learn, that's all."

"Most of the new ships were destroyed when Pokélantis was leveled…but one of the prototypes had been kept at a research outpost, so managed to avoid the ruin of the capital," Pete continued. "As the world devolved into savagery and chaos in the power vacuum left by the collapse of the two empires, the ship was abandoned and forgotten…"

"Until _we_ found it, millennia later," Molly said. "We were just yer typical band of pirates back then, out to make a name fer ourselves. Cap'n Barbedo had yet to earn the title of Pirate King, so he was no different from any other pirate captain in his ambitions."

"That all changed when we found a map in an old tomb that we think belonged to one of those ancient techno-mages that promised to lead to the greatest treasure of all time," Pete said. "And it did! It took us right to the ruins of that old outpost…and waiting beneath them was the ship that would one day become the _Golden Dream!_"

"It was in a lot better condition than ye'd expect, considering how long it had been just sitting there. The ancients sure knew how to build 'em," Molly said admiringly.

"We fixed her up and made a few tweaks to give 'er a more 'piratey' look and took her out on the open seas," Pete said. "With her advanced 'magitech,' the _Golden Dream_ made us the most powerful and infamous pirates in the whole world! We could defeat unbeatable sea monsters, crush armadas sent to capture us, obtain treasures the likes of which other pirates had never even dreamt of getting! But, uh, that's all in the past, of course," he said quickly when the heroes stared at him.

"What a magnificent ship!" Briney whispered, full of awe.

"Incredible…so that's the secret of the Barbedo pirates' rise to glory…" Ash murmured.

"Well, that, and us getting cursed and turned into unkillable undead," Molly said.

"But how were you able to operate a machine as complex and beyond your comprehension as that thing?" Pikachu asked.

"Oh, that's easy, we read the manual," Pete said.

Pikachu's eye twitched. "The manual."

"Yes," said Pete.

"The manual that was no doubt written in the dead language of a civilization that had been lost and forgotten for thousands of years?" Pikachu asked.

"We were able to get some Unown to translate it for us," Pete said.

"Oh," Pikachu said, mollified.

"How'd you manage that? Unown aren't exactly easy to deal with," Ash said, knowing from experience.

"It was easier than you think," Molly said. "Those weirdoes are always on the lookout for more knowledge. The information on how to operate and control something like the _Golden Dream,_ something they had been unaware of up until that point, was the price they asked for to translate the manual. So they basically did it for free!"

"You weren't worried they'd do anything with that information?" Tiny asked.

"Like, say, give it to your enemies?" Briney asked.

Pete laughed. "The Unown never give out knowledge fer free. Most people can never meet their prices."

"The fact that their temple was the first place we hit once we got the _Golden Dream_ working also guaranteed nobody else would ever know how to replicate what we'd done," Molly said. "What?" she asked when everyone gave her shocked looks. "We were pirates. What did ye expect?"

"I would have expected the Unown to expect something like that," Sasha said.

"So did we, but since they never retaliated against us…" Pete said.

_What about the barrier that trapped you here?_ Dawn asked.

"That was Arceans, the Unown had nuttin' to do with that," Molly said.

_How do you know the Unown didn't tell them how to do it?_ Dawn pressed.

The pirates paused. "Ye know, that never occurred to me," Pete said after a moment.

"Guess that was that 'karma' stuff some of the people we killed kept saying would get us in the end," Molly said.

"It usually does, sooner or later," Pikachu said, pleased the pirates had gotten their comeuppance one way or another.

"Especially when I'm the one delivering the karmic retribution," Briney said, thinking of the Nihilators he had killed on his quest to avenge Peeko's murder. Just one more to go…

"So what exactly is the _Golden Dream_ capable of? You said it could fly?" Ash asked.

"And go underwater," Pete said.

"_And_ teleport!" Molly said.

They looked at her in amazement. "Whoa! Really?" Tiny asked.

_I didn't think it was possible for a vessel to do that,_ Dawn said.

"I _really_ want that ship now," Briney said feverishly.

"We don't really understand how it works-" Pete started.

"I thought you said you had a manual," Sasha said.

"We do, but that don't mean we know half of what it means," Molly said.

"There's a section of the engine where ye can place an object into some doohickey," Pete said. "And it examines the object and somehow finds coordinates for wherever the object came from. And you can use those coordinates to teleport the ship right to that place!"

"Wow," Ash said, deeply impressed.

"So that's how you guys were always able to appear from out of nowhere and escape just as quickly…" Pikachu said.

_And how you get the ship in and out of here, since I don't see any exits big enough for something that size to fit through,_ Dawn said.

"I really, _really_ want that ship now," Briney repeated.

"Once a set of coordinates has been discovered, they stay in the ship's memory thingy, so you don't have to put the same object in every time ye want to go somewhere," Pete said.

"Then why didn't you simply use this teleportation to escape Zero Isle?" Sasha asked.

"We tried," Molly said.

"We kept rebounding off the barrier," Pete said. "They thought of everything when they trapped us here. Hmm, maybe the Unown really did have a…er…floating protruding thingy in this after all. It'd explain how the barrier kept the teleport from working, too."

"Of course, I'm not sure how much good the teleport would be now, either, since most of the places we had coordinates for are probably toast by now," Molly said sadly.

Pete nodded solemnly. "Buccaneer Bay…Shipwreck Island…Treasure Town…all our old haunts are probably long gone."

"Actually, Treasure Town is still around," Tiny said.

"Unfortunately," Pikachu grunted.

"Really? Ha, I should've known!" Pete laughed. "I suppose it would take more than the end of the world to clean up that scumhole!"

"Is it still a wretched hive of scum and villainy?" Molly asked.

"Oh yeah," Ash said.

"It's probably even worse now than it was in your time," Briney said.

"Wow! Now that's somethin' I've got to see," Pete whistled.

"And you will…after we get that ship and sail everyone out of here," Pikachu said.

"Well, ye'll have to deal with the Cap'n before ye can do that," Molly said ominously.

"We're almost there," Pete said. "Let us do the talkin' so he won't kill ye on the spot."

"Heh, he can _try_…" Briney said.

"Isn't that what you said about the rest of the pirates earlier?" Sasha asked. "And didn't they catch you off guard then, too?"

"No," Briney said.

"But I thought-" Tiny started.

"No," Briney repeated, glaring at him. And that was the end of that.

After a little more walking, they reached the shore of the pool the _Golden Dream _was anchored in. A long gangplank had extended from the deck, its end touching the gold-strewn ground at their feet. Pete cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted, "Ahoy, Cap'n! Fat Pete and Ear-Biter Molly, reportin' for duty, sir!"

As Pete's cry echoed throughout the cavern, at first it seemed as if Barbedo, wherever he was, had not heard the skeleton's hail. For a few minutes they waited, the tension growing with every moment of unbroken silence. But finally, a tall figure appeared at the top of the gangplank, leering down at all of them. "Ahoy, me mates Petey and Molly! It's been a long, long time…"

He started down the gangplank, allowing Team Aurabolt to get their first look at the infamous Pirate King, the legendary Captain Barbedo. He towered over all of them, a massive monster of a man at least eight feet tall, his bones gleaming and catching the light. It looked as if they, much like the ship he was disembarking, were made of gold. He looked much like the picture in the book Oak had shown them back in Treasure Town, save for the fact that he had no skin now. He wore an impressive red greatcoat with gold epaulets, buttons, and trim, with a tattered crimson cape with a flaming skull wearing a pirate hat painted on it flowing down his back. The coat was open, revealing the thick bones of his rib cage, though most of them were obscured by the bandoliers laden with explosives crisscrossing his chest. His legs were encased in breeches that would had been otherwise unremarkable save for the gold coins that had been sewn into the seams here and there. His only foot was sheathed in a thick boot with hardknobbed nails hammered into the soles, while an ornately-encrusted golden spike made up for his lack of a left leg from the knee down. He had lost his beard along with the rest of his hair when all his skin had sloughed off, so he'd fashioned himself a new beard made of doubloons strung together to create a shining, clinking, clattering mass of wealth. Evil red eyes glared at them from the eyesockets over his replacement mustache, a pair of curved blades much like Briney's own mustache, his gilded skull covered by a big captain's hat with an old, worn Altaria feather drooping from the back. He grinned, revealing that his teeth, too, were now made of gold. Laughing, he clapped Pete on the back so hard he knocked the skeleton to the ground. "Harhar, Petey, 'tis good to see ye! And the old ball-and-chain too, of course. How have you and the missus been doing? Why did ye never come by to visit? It got rather lonely here at times, with nobody to talk to but Polly and the _Golden Dream…_and neither of them are especially good conversationalists."

"S-sorry, Cap'n, but you gave us express orders not to disturb you, or else," Pete said as he staggered back to his feet, shaking out some coins that had gotten stuck in his bones.  
"So we thought it would be best if we left well enough alone."

Barbedo frowned. "Hmm, I did give that order, didn't I? Oh well, I won't be alone for much longer, once the rest of me old crew gets here and we set sail. Ye can't believe how elated I was when the ship's sensors told me that the barrier keeping us on this Arceusforsaken rock had finally gone down! Now we can go back to terrorizing the seas and making the world quiver at the name of Barbedo once more!" He paused, noticing Team Aurabolt. "Ah, and who do we have here? They still have flesh on their bones. Are they new recruits you got while I was down here?"

"No, Cap'n, they're newcomers," Pete said.

"'Twas they who lowered the barrier in the first place!" Molly said.

"Is that so?" Barbedo asked, glancing at Team Aurabolt in surprise.

"Um, yeah, pretty much," Ash said, clearing his throat.

Barbedo frowned suspiciously. "And what could there possibly be on this island that ye'd want to lower the barrier for? Or did ye not know that we were here?"

"Oh, we did know-" Pikachu started.

"Ah, then ye were trying to set us free? Excellent! Then I guess I owe ye a debt of gratitude, and Barbedo always pays his debts!" the captain interrupted. "Name yer reward! Do ye want to join me crew? Or perhaps there's something from me treasure I could give ye? As ye can see, I could probably spare a piece o' eight or two."

The heroes exchanged looks of surprise. It couldn't really be this easy, could it? Pete and Molly were equally startled. "Cap'n, ye can't be serious, can ye?" Pete asked.

"I've never known ye to be this generous, Cap'n," Molly said.

"It's not about generosity, it's about repaying what I owe," Barbedo said. "Many things can be said about me, but let nobody say I cheat those who've done me a right turn! So, lads—and lasses-what'll it be?"

"Well…um, Captain Barbedo, would you happen to have a star-shaped jewel somewhere?" Tiny asked timidly.

Barbedo frowned. "I have plenty of those. Could ye be a little more specific?"

"How about one that's blue, was stolen from the Temple of the Sea, and is the source of the curse that's keeping all of you and your crew animated?" Briney asked. The others looked at him in alarm. Should he really have been that open about it?

Barbedo's frown deepened. "Ye want that star."

"Yes," Briney said.

"The star me crew risked life and limb to obtain from the forbidden Temple of the Sea, dying shortly after at the hands of the authorities, only to be painfully torn from our graves and resurrected by its mysterious power," Barbedo said.

"Yes," Briney said.

"The star that allowed my crew and I to become even _more_ infamous and feared than we already were, and is the only thing that's kept us alive on this accursed rock fer the last two thousand years," Barbedo said.

"Yes," Briney said.

"The star, without which, me crew and I might very well die for real? Ye want _that_ star?" Barbedo asked.

The heroes tensed, anticipating trouble. Molly fidgeted and Pete chewed on his fingertips nervously, creating a rather loud clacking sound. "Yes," Briney said.

"Okay, here ye go," Barbedo said, reaching into a pocket and taking out a star-shaped sapphire about the size of their Rescue Team Badges. "I thought ye were going to ask fer something a lot bigger, but if this is what it'll take to make us square, ye can have it."

There was a long pause. Everyone stared at the gem in disbelief. "It can't possibly be that easy," Pikachu said finally, stunned.

Barbedo frowned. "O'course it is. Ye said ye wanted this, so that's what I'm gonna give ye. What's the problem?"

"C-Cap'n, why're ye-" Pete started.

Barbedo cuffed him where his ears used to be, nearly knocking his skull off. "Quiet, Petey! Can't ye see I'm in the middle of a business transaction here?"

"But…don't you _need_ that star?" Ash asked incredulously. "To keep you alive and all?"

"You as much as said so just a minute ago," said the confused Pikachu. "So…why are you giving it to us?"

"Because ye asked fer it," Barbedo said.

"But…without it, won't you die for real?" Sasha asked, utterly dumbfounded.

Barbedo laughed. "Ye'd think so, wouldn't ye? Fortunately, that isn't the case. After we were raised from the grave, I had this trinket checked out by a voodoo witch who owed me a favor or two. She said that its strange power was responsible for reanimating us and granting us immortality. Since I was quite understandably worried that something might happen to us should we lose the star, I asked if there was anyway to make that immortality permanent. She told me that if we were exposed to the star's energy for long enough, it would forge a permanent link to us and continue sustaining us no matter how far away we were from it. Since we've been soaking up its juices for nigh on two thousand years now, I figure we can survive on our own for a while without it…and if I'm wrong, we can always hunt ye down and pry it from yer cold, dead paws." Ash realized to his surprise that this made a startling amount of sense. After all, weren't the skeletons of Tiama's victims—including Leo's father—still animated, even though the Star Badge the dragon had kept had been removed from the village and later stolen by the Nihilators? If that Star Badge could keep those skeletons alive despite being Arceus knows how far away, why couldn't the one animating the pirates?

_That's oddly convenient, _Dawn commented, still a little skeptical.

"Maybe, but convenient things happen to us a lot," Tiny said.

Pikachu sighed. "And I know I shouldn't complain about them, considering how advantageous they are to us overall, it's just that so many of them are so _contrived_. It kind of gets on my nerves."

"Not on mine," Briney said, graciously taking the blue Star Badge from Barbedo. "Thank you kindly, Captain."

"No problem. But take good care of it…like I said, I may wind up needing it back someday," Barbedo warned them. "And now, if our business is concluded-"

"Um, actually, there's one other thing," Ash said.

Barbedo frowned. "What is it? If ye want another handout, ye've come to the wrong place. I've repaid ye for yer good deed, but if ye want more than that from me it's going to cost ye, possibly dearly. Me gratitude only goes so far, after all."

"It's nothing like that," Pikachu said quickly. "Just something we need to clarify. You and your crew intend to take your ship over there and sail from Zero Isle now that the barrier keeping you trapped here is gone, right?"

"Aye, that be the idea," Barbedo said.

"And what are your intentions, now that you have your freedom again?" Sasha said.

Barbedo gave her a perplexed look. "What do ye think are me intentions? We're going to go and slaughter and plunder and pillage and raze and do all the other things that pirates are wont to do, making our mark upon this new and unsuspecting era and have revenge for our centuries of imprisonment!" Pete and Molly fidgeted a little at this, but Barbedo didn't notice. "Why, do ye want to come along? If so, ye'll have to join me crew, the _Golden Dream_ ain't a passenger ship. Everybody works for their place onboard."

The heroes tensed up, knowing a fight was probably going to break out in mere minutes. "Thank you but no, we have our own way off this island," Briney said.

Barbedo frowned. "Then what exactly is the problem?"

"Your ambitions," Ash said.

"Or rather, the fact that we can't let you go through with them," Pikachu said, grabbing the hilt of his sword.

Barbedo narrowed his eyes as Pete slowly backed away. "Really now. And why is this?"

"The truth of the matter is that we didn't come here to release you," Sasha said.

"We came here to get your star," Tiny said.

"And we aren't the types who'd let an infamous pirate like yourself have your way with the world now that nothing's stopping you from leaving this island," Briney said.

"…Ah. I see. Ye be saying ye're going to try and stop me?" Barbedo said, a grin slowly forming on his face.

"That's the idea, yeah," Ash said.

Barbedo chuckled. "Ha…I should have known. A bunch of do-gooders, eh? Trying to do the world a favor and rid it of nasty ol' Captain Barbedo? Well…" He reached behind his back and under his cape and drew a HUGE sword that was at least as tall and wide as he was, which he seemed perfectly capable of lifting one-handed. He casually slung it over his shoulder and grinned at them. "Ye're welcome to try."

As the others got into fighting stances, Pikachu drew his sword as well, the piles of gold around them glittering as it reflected the electricity crackling around his sword. "That's pretty much exactly what we intend to do."

"Hmm, but there's six of you and only one of me…hardly a fair fight," Barbedo commented. He glanced over his shoulder. "Pete? Molly? Either of ye feel like lending me a hand?"

"Uh, no thanks, Cap'n," Pete, who was now hiding behind one of the treasure mounds, said timorously. "We'd only get in the way."

"And besides, we're waiting to see who wins," Molly said.

Barbedo chortled. "Hahahaharrrr! Spoken like a true pirate! Ye're right, though, ye would get in the way…so it's a good thing I have my trusty mate to lend a claw!" He whistled. "Polly! Get over here, ye overgrown layabout! We've finally got some action!"

The water of the pool started to bubble and froth as a massive dark shadow arose from the depths. It broke through the surface, splashing water all over the place and sending waves across the length and breadth of the pool, rocking the _Golden Dream_ and causing the tide to rise, lapping at the toes of the heroes. They gawked in disbelief at the gargantuan figure looming over them, an eerie undead Crawdaunt at least a hundred feet tall, numerous harpoons and hooks stuck in its hardened back and one of its pincers, water pouring from numerous holes in its carapace, a massive exoskeleton as hollow and empty as that of a Shedinja's. Regarding them scornfully with its glowing red eyes, it lowered its head and bellowed, the stench of brine and decay and rotting seafood washing over them. _Well_, Dawn said after a moment. _That is not what I expected Polly to be_.

"You never told us Polly was a giant Crawdaunt!" Pikachu yelled at Pete and Molly.

"Ye never asked!" they yelled back.

"I thought Polly was what pirates called Chatots, not Crawdaunts!" protested the disbelieving Ash.

"Unlike most pirates, I've never liked having a bird on my shoulder. They always make a mess of my coat," Barbedo said, earning him a slight scowl from Molly. "Having a sea monster as a pet more than made up for it, though."

"Incredible…how'd you actually manage to _tame_ one of those things?" Briney asked.

"With great effort," Barbedo said. "Polly here is me oldest and most loyal companion. He's stuck with me through thick and thin, and followed me into places where even the rest of me crew feared to tread. When we were captured and executed, Polly went mad and ravaged the coasts until the navy put him down, though it cost them over a hundred ships! Naturally, we resurrected him once we came back from the dead. It wouldn't do to leave a faithful friend like that rotting at the bottom of the ocean, now would it?"

"Didn't ye leave Blackboots Bill rotting at the bottom of the ocean?" Molly piped up.

"Yes, but he was unfaithful. So!" Barbedo said, swiping his massive sword through the air. "If ye wee Pokémon want to be stopping me from renewing my reign of terror, ye'll have to defeat me and Polly both…no easy feat, considering both of us are immortal!"

"We've defeated immortals before," Ash said. "We'll do the same to you!"

"Will ye now? Well, we'll just see about that, won't we!" Barbedo laughed. "I suppose we should set our terms for victory. What'll ye be wanting if ye win? My resignation as Captain of the _Golden Dream,_ I suppose, and my retirement from a life of piracy?"

"Pretty much," Tiny said.

"You forgot to mention command of your ship and crew, as well as a crewman's share of your treasure," Briney said. He glanced at the giant Crawdaunt, who clacked its pincers menacingly. "And Polly, I suppose."

"Of course, of course, it's only fair," Barbedo said, nodding reasonably. "But if _I_ win, now…I'll kill the lot of ye, skin ye, and raise your bones to serve on me crew."

"…That sounds rather unpleasant," Sasha said, disturbed.

"If ye want to win big, ye have to take big risks," Barbedo said. "Ye can take it or leave it. What'll it be?"

"I guess we have no choice but to take them," Ash said.

"We don't intend to have any place on your crew, though!" Pikachu said.

"At least, not as anything but Captains," Briney said.

"Harhar, well, ye can always dream, now can't ye?" Barbedo laughed.

"Briney, Tiny, Sasha, and Dawn, you fight Polly," Ash ordered. "He's the biggest target, so he'll take the most of you to bring down. Pikachu, you and I will tackle Barbedo."

"Okay," Tiny said.

"Very well," said Sasha.

"Heh, sure. What's one more sea monster?" Briney wisecracked.

"You don't want me fighting Polly? My Electric power might help," Pikachu said.

"He's undead. Will shocking him make much of a difference?" Ash asked. Pikachu shrugged, admitting he might be right. "Besides…I want to see how his sword matches up against yours."

Pikachu nodded, appraising Barbedo's weapon. "His is a lot bigger than mine…but it's not the sword that matters, but the mon—or man, I guess—that uses it."

_Master, I should be fighting with you,_ Dawn protested.

"No, Dawn. We can handle this," Pikachu assured her. "You help the others fight Polly. Whoever beats their opponent first can help the others, okay?"

Dawn nodded reluctantly. _Then I shall defeat that crustacean swiftly, so that I can fight by your side again._ She and the other three ran off to intercept Polly, who was slogging through the water towards the shore.

Left on their own, Ash and Pikachu faced off against Barbedo. "I may be a little rusty—it's been centuries since my last real fight—but I can still take the two of you with both hands tied behind my back!" the captain bragged.

"Then why don't you? It might make the fight more interesting," Ash said.

Barbedo snorted. "Heh, please, I'm not _that_ stupid!"

Ash shrugged. "Worth a shot."

"But enough talking…let's do this! You want what's mine? Then prove you're worthy enough to take it! Daaaaaaaargh!" Barbedo roared, charging towards them.

"You know, I'm starting to wonder if we should start using battle cries," Ash commented as they ran towards Barbedo.

"Nah, we don't want to seem _too_ much like the grown-ups," Pikachu said.

"I thought you revered your dad," Ash said.

"I do, but I don't want to be exactly like him, considering that he's kind of a lazy goofball with a ridiculous beer-drinking hat," Pikachu pointed out.

"Ah. True," Ash said.

And then the battle joined. Molly and Pete watched in awe from their hiding place as Ash and Pikachu clashed blades (Ash having conjured up a Bone Rush sword) while the others started harassing Polly, who'd climbed partway out of the water and was roaring as he brought his claws down in Crabhammers all over the place, knocking over piles of treasure and shaking the cavern as he tried to crush Team Aurabolt. "This is going to be one hell of a fight! If only we had some popcorn…" Pete said wistfully.

"Here you go," Molly said, handing him a carton.

"Oh, thanks," Pete said. He took out a kernel, started to put it in his mouth, and paused. "Wait…where were ye keeping this?"

Molly shrugged. "We may have been married for centuries now, but that don't mean ye know _all_ me secrets." He grunted, clearly displeased that this was the case. Deciding to leave it be, they settled down to watch the fight, Pete munching on his popcorn and Molly biting at his fingers to steal pieces whenever she felt like it. He would have complained, but she always pecked him when he did, and that always got his skull ringing unpleasantly. As she always half-jokingly told him, there was a lot of empty space between his earholes…

…

Meanwhile, back at the inlet…

"…And then I left, coming here," Lily said, finishing her narration of the events leading up to her fleeing from Leo and the others and running into Caserin.

The Luvdisc nodded thoughtfully. "I see…well, it sounds like you're in a bit of a sea cucumber, aren't you?"

"I don't know what to do," Lily confessed. "Did Leo mean what he said to me? And if he did…if he did, what am I to do about it? Do I love him? Do I not? I just…don't know…"

"…I believe that I can help you," Caserin said after a moment. "However, you'll need to answer a few questions first."

"All right," Lily said, relieved that her new friend was willing to help her.

"You said you accused Leo of possibly wanting to take advantage of your ties to the Draconian Empire. What did you mean by that?" Caserin asked. He gasped. "Oh…does that mean…you are a princess, much like my beloved Luverin? If so, that would explain a lot of your uncertainty."

"No, I'm not a princess," Lily denied. "At least…I don't think I am…you see, my father is Nuken, the second-in-command of the Draconian Empire."

"Oh my!" Caserin said. "I've heard of that Pokémon…and I thought my Luverin's father was stern and unforgiving."

"I'm sort of scared of him, to be honest," Lily said. "Up until a little over a week or two ago, I'd been living with my mother, an evil witch who abused me and gave me no clue as to my other heritage. Thanks to my friends, I was able to escape from her…and soon learned of my connection to Nuken and the Empire."

"So I see…I suppose being Nuken's daughter would mean you stand to inherit quite a lot, don't you?" Caserin said.

"I guess…but I don't really care about any of that," Lily said tiredly. "I don't even really know my father. All I want to do is stay with my friends. They're the only people I understand…or at least, I thought I did…"

"So would I be correct in assuming that if your father disapproved of a potential mate for you, you wouldn't care?" Caserin asked.

"He already disapproves of my friends, who I think are the most wonderful people in the world," Lily said. "So no, his opinion doesn't mean that much to me. I mean…it should, but…he's so _alien_ to me. I'm still coming to grips with the idea of having a father at all."

"You may not care much, but others might," Caserin said. "How did your friends feel about this revelation about your family?"

"They didn't care. They'd known me before they found out about my relationship to Nuken—albeit, not for long—and although Leo's joked once or twice about the advantages to having a friend in high places like me, for the most part they've treated me no different from usual," Lily said.

"So do you think your fears of Leo only wanting you for your wealth or power are unwarranted?" Caserin asked.

"…Yes, I suppose they are," Lily admitted after a moment. "While he's made no secret of his desire for those things, he says he wants to achieve it through honest and legitimate means. Additionally, he's always claimed to be a firm advocate of true love…in fact, it's because of him that I know anything about love at all. He told me that if he were to ever be with someone…both spiritually and—ugh—sexually, he'd want it to be someone he honestly loved." She frowned. "But…if he was just trying to seduce me, then it would only make sense for him to say things like that, wouldn't it? Things that would make me trust him, and grow to feel…things for him?"

"It might," Caserin admitted. "But that doesn't mean he didn't mean any of it. Do you believe Leo to be the kind of person who would deceive someone that way?"

"Well…no, I guess not," Lily admitted. "He's always struck me as being an honest person, and though he is capable of deceit, it's largely innocent in intent and consequences, working more for the benefit of the party rather than just himself. He's very intelligent, caring, funny, and trustworthy…or at least, I thought he was, up until now…now I'm not so sure…"

"It sounds as if you respect him a great deal," Caserin said.

"I respect all my friends," Lily said. "They mean everything to me."

"That may be, but do you feel the same way towards all of them?" Caserin asked. "Are they all equal in your eyes? Are your relationships with them all the same?"

"Yes," Lily said. She hesitated. "Well…no, I suppose not. While I interact with all of them a great deal, not all of those interactions are the same. Our youngest teammate, Tiny, used to hate me until recently, and now he sees me as a sort of aunt. The oldest ones—other than myself, that is—seem to regard me as something like a daughter, treating me like…like the sort of parents I always wished I could have. The others are almost like siblings, and much nicer ones than my _real_ sister, even Dawn, who can be a little…distant at times. And Leo…" She hesitated. "When I first joined the group, he took it upon himself to teach me about the world and the people in it. He's spent almost every waking moment that he doesn't spend on games or interacting with Tiny or doing things I barely comprehend with me, guiding and helping and making it possible for me to understand the world I've become a part of. He's always got a kind word or encouraging anecdote for me whenever I'm feeling down, even if half the time I have no idea what he's talking about. Whenever my hat falls off, he's the one who catches it and gives it back. He, more than almost any of the others, has made me feel truly welcome and like I'm part of a family. He's…he's done so much for me…the only ones who have done more are Ash and Tiny, who freed me from my mother to begin with…" She stiffened, a realization coming to her. "…Oh no. He…he really does love me, doesn't he?"

"He does indeed," Caserin said.

"But…but what about me?" Lily said desperately. "How do I feel? What…what am I supposed to do about this?"

"Didn't you hear yourself?" Caserin asked. "You said you owe Leo more than just about any of your other friends. That he's done more for you than almost all of them. Of all of your companions, you are clearly the closest to him."

"But is that love?" she asked. "I mean…romantic love, not just very strong friendship?"

"Well, tell me this," Caserin said. "If your friends were dying, and you could only save one of them, which would it be?"

"None, I'd let them die and then use magic to capture their souls and try to create homunculi for them to inhabit," Lily said.

"…Er…right, let me try a different example," Caserin said after a moment. "Let's say that your evil mother had managed to recapture you. Which of your friends would you most want to see bursting through the door to rescue you?"

"All of them," Lily said.

"I said the _most_," Caserin repeated. "And I don't mean which one you think would have the best chance of saving you; I mean which one would you want to _see_ the most?"

"Leo," Lily said at once, without even thinking about it.

"If some accident had caused your party to be split up, which teammate would you most like to have by your side? Again, not because of their ability to fight or other skills, but who you would most want to spend time with?" Caserin asked.

"Leo," Lily said.

"If your evil mother had managed to kill your friends, and you had no way of bringing any of them back…which of them would you mourn the most?" Caserin asked.

"L…Leo…" Lily said, her heart pounding and tears coming to her eyes at the thought of the scenario the Luvdisc was suggesting. It was so easy to imagine something like that happening to her friends…

"And once your adventure is over, and you must all inevitably go your separate ways-" Caserin started.

"Oh! Do you think we will?" Lily asked in alarm.

"Perhaps, perhaps not. From what I know, some teams stay together forever, others split up once their mission is at an end," Caserin said. "But let's say that yours did, and you didn't have to go live with your father…which of your friends would you most like to move in with?"

"Leo," Lily breathed. Her pulse quickened, or would have if she had a pulse. She felt as if she were on the verge of realizing a greater truth.

"Now…if you had to give up absolutely everything-and I mean _everything_, your life, your dreams, everything you've ever wanted-so that one of your friends could achieve their heart's desire…which friend would you sacrifice yourself for?" Caserin asked.

"…Leo," Lily whispered. Her eyes glistened, and she found herself crying.

"And do you know why that is, Lily?" Caserin asked.

"It's because…because…" She gasped. "Because…I _am_ in love with him, aren't I?"

"You certainly are," the Luvdisc said gently.

"Then…then is _this_ what love feels like?" she asked. "I thought…I thought it was something else. Something nearly incomprehensible…"

"It's rarely what you expect," Caserin said. "That's part of what makes it so wonderful."

"But…but how can I be in love with him?" she protested. "I mean, we haven't even known each other for very long!"

"So? I fell in love with Luverin the moment I set eyes on her, and her on me," Caserin said. "Granted, we're Luvdisc, so that's to be expected, but it happens to other species too occasionally. Length of time with someone isn't always a measure of love…it's what you _do_ with that time."

"But I'm far older than he is! And cursed, besides!" she said.

"He doesn't seem to care about any of that. And if that's the case, then why should you?" Caserin asked.

"Because…because I'll only hurt him in the end." She stiffened. "Like…I already have…" She sagged. "I've made a terrible mistake, haven't I?"

"I'm afraid so," Caserin said sadly.

"I've probably broken his heart…" She moaned. "I am unworthy of his affections…I have no right to feel the way I do for him…"

"All is not lost," Caserin assured her.

"How can you possibly say that, after what I did to him?" she protested.

"Because you love him and he loves you," Caserin said. "And because he loves you, he will forgive you."

Lily blinked. "He…he will? But why?"

"Because he loves you," Caserin repeated.

"…Just like that?" Lily asked.

"Just like that," Caserin said.

"Then…I need to talk to him. I have to apologize for what I've done," Lily said.

"I think you'll get your chance pretty soon, he's right over there," Caserin said.

Lily gasped. "What?" She whirled around to see Leo not too far away, picking his way over the rocks as he tried to reach her.

"Lily!" he called when he saw her. "Hold on, I'll be right there!"

"What do I do? What do I do?" she asked anxiously, turning back to Caserin.

"That is something you must figure out on your own," Caserin said.

"What? Why?" she cried in disbelief.

"Because I've done everything I can. The rest is up to you," Caserin said. "Don't worry too much about it. Simply do whatever feels natural to you. Follow your heart. It will not steer you wrong."

"But I don't know if I even have a heart! I'm a Ghost, after all," she pointed out.

"But you must have a heart," he countered. "How else could you love anyone?"

"Lily!" Leo cried. Lily turned again to see the Squirtle pulling himself, with some effort, onto the rock she was hovering over. "Lil-" He wheezed, coughed, held up a finger, then pulled out his inhaler and sucked on it for several seconds. While he did this, Lily quickly grabbed her Rescue Team badge and put it back on, glancing one last time at Caserin, who smiled and winked at her. "Ah, that's better," Leo sighed in relief once his breathing was stable again. "Ugh, I hate exercise…but enough about me…Lily, thank goodness I found you! You have no idea how worried I was! I'm sorry if I drove you away. I was too forward; I should have realized you weren't ready for this. I should have-"

"No, _I'm_ sorry, Leo," Lily interrupted him. "You have nothing to apologize for."

Leo blinked. "Huh? I don't?"

"No," she said. "I overreacted. You revealed the extent of your true feelings for me, and I…panicked. It was cruel and selfish of me to run off like that. I badly hurt your feelings, and accused you of being the sort of person I know deep down you aren't. I'm the one who was in the wrong, not you."

"Hey, it's all right," Leo said. "I mean, I understand how you must have felt. I probably would have acted the same way, if I were in your place. But…" He bit his lip. "None of that changes the way how I feel about you, Lily. I'm sorry if I made certain…assumptions and acted too quickly, but the truth of the matter is I'm head-over-heels in love with you. And…while I'm not sure how you feel, if this is all too much for you, I promise to just back off and let you sort out your feelings. Unless you want me to help you sort them out, I mean. Er, that is to say-"

"Leo," Lily interrupted.

He blinked. "Yeah?"

"Kiss me," she said.

"What?" he said.

"Kiss me," she repeated. "Like you did before."

"…Um. Does that mean-" he started. Fed up with his slowness, she leaned forward and planted a kiss on his lips. After several seconds, she broke contact and stared at him fondly. "…Ah," he said after a moment. He took his glasses off and rubbed them on a cleaning cloth. "I take it that's a yes, then."

"I believe so," she said.

"Ah. Cool." He grabbed her and they kissed again, as the waves crashed around them and the marine Pokémon flew by or swam past and paid no attention whatsoever to them. None of them except for Caserin, that is, who smiled happily, pleased at a job well done. After a few minutes, Leo had to break off for air, since he was the only one of them that had lungs. "How was that?"

"I liked it," Lily said. "Admittedly, I haven't had much experience with kissing-"

"Neither have I, unless you count my posters and blowup dolls," Leo said.

She decided to pretend she hadn't heard that. "But I don't think I'll ever meet anyone who kisses me as well as you do."

"I certainly hope not," Leo said. "So…does this mean you're my girlfriend now?"

"If you want me to be," Lily said, blushing.

"!" Leo shouted, his cry frightening several of the indigenous Pokémon away. Lily giggled and kissed him again. "I could really get used to that," he said giddily. "So long as we don't do it so often that it becomes sickening and boring for the people around us."

"All right," Lily said, deciding to follow Leo's heed when it came to their relationship. He knew more about that sort of thing than she did, albeit not from experience. "So…what do we do now?"

"Regarding…us, you mean?" Leo asked. He shrugged. "Huh. Not sure. Being together is something we're both going to have to work on. A relationship requires effort from both sides, after all, and if we want this thing to be a success—and I know I do—then it's something we'll need to strive for together. I guess we just take it a day at a time. And kiss each other whenever we feel like it, I guess."

"Okay," Lily said, liking the sound of that. She frowned. "But, um…we don't have to…"

"Have sex? Not if you don't want to," Leo said, much to her relief. "I think it's a little too early in our relationship to be talking about something like that…and as I told you before, it's not something a couple should do unless they're _both_ ready for it, and Celestial Heavens knows neither of us are."

Lily sighed gratefully. "Thank you, Leo."

"But, uh…sooner or later, will you…?" Leo questioned.

"I…really don't know, Leo," Lily said, flushing again. "Like you said just a minute ago…we should take it a day at a time, right?"

"Right," Leo said. Much to her surprise, he hugged her. "I'm so happy, Lily," he whispered into her hair, which started wriggling and curling around his shoulders, apparently as pleased about the sudden relationship upgrade as both of them were. "Not just for me, but for you."

She blinked. "For me? Why?"

"Because now you know what love is," he told her. "That's what you said you wanted to know more than almost anything else, right?"

"…Oh!" Her heart soared, and an overjoyed smile came to her face. "That's right. It is, isn't it? And now I have it…"

"Is it what you expected?" Leo asked.

"No. It's better," she said.

"Same here," he replied. They kissed again.

But then Lily pulled away, a troubling thought occurring to her. "But Leo…can this work? I mean, there's my age, and I'm going to outlive you!"

"Your age doesn't bother me, you're about as mature as I am," Leo replied. "And I'm going to evolve into a Wartortle and find a way to live forever, remember? If anything, I might outlive _you_!"

"Oh. That's true," she admitted. "But…what about my curse?"

"I'm working on a way to break it," he said.

"And my father…" Lily continued.

"Working on that, too," he said.

"And what will everyone else think?" she asked.

"They're cool with that. And you, babe, need to relax," he said, hugging her again. "We're together. Enjoy the moment. Isn't that what's most important right now?"

"…Yes," she said, deciding to let go of her worries and trust in Leo. "I suppose it is."

They stood there for a few minutes, intoxicated by each other's scent and the sensation of feeling each other's skin on their own. Unfortunately, the blissful moment came to an end when Leo remembered he had forgotten something very important. "Oh, shit!"

"What? What is it?" Lily asked in alarm, pulling away from him.

"The others! We got word that Barbedo's found out that the barrier around Zero Isle is gone, and is preparing to set sail and begin a new reign of terror on the high sea! While they sent me off to find you, since you weren't responding to our calls or anything-" Lily winced in guilt. "They went with Molly and Fat Pete to take on Barbedo and try to defeat him and get the next Star Badge!"

Lily gasped. "Oh no! We need to go help them!" She bit her lip. "And to think…while I was feeling sorry for myself, everyone else was risking their lives…oh, I'm a terrible Rescue Team member!"

"Hey, relax, everyone does stupid things now and then," Leo said. "I'm as much to blame as you are for us not being there now…especially since we spent the last few minutes making out rather than rushing back to help everyone."

"Maybe our getting together was a bad idea, if it distracts us from what's really important…" Lily said unhappily.

"Hey! Don't you ever think that way!" Leo said sharply. "What's going on between you and me isn't something we should regret! It's natural, it's powerful, and it's _real_. There's nothing to feel sorry or ashamed about."

She nodded. "Right. Sorry, Leo. I'll open a portal back to the beach, and we can-" She paused. "Leo, how many ships does Barbedo have?"

Leo blinked. "Huh? Just the one, why?"

"Then would I be correct in guessing that those aren't pirate ships?" Lily asked, pointing with a hair tendril out to sea.

Leo turned to see where she was pointing and blanched. At least two dozen massive warships with countless smaller support vessels and boats were coming full speed towards Zero Isle, their sharp bows plowing through the waves before them like a scythe through chaff. The water between the ships seethed as sea monsters of tremendous proportions rose from the depths, their undulations as they swam carrying them in and out of the sea as they kept pace with the vessels on either side of them. The Squirtle quickly whipped out his sunglasses and scanned the ships. He swore loudly. "No Lily, those aren't pirate ships…it's the Nihilators!"

She gasped. "Oh no! They're here already?"

"It looks that way…they must be here for the Star Badge, and for us!" Leo turned back to Lily, a determined look on his face. "We have to get back to the others…this is way more important than fighting a musty old pirate king!"

Lily nodded. "Right!" She opened a portal leading back to the pirate beach, and they quickly ran through, leaving the inlet behind.

"Oh my…" Caserin murmured as he stared at the approaching vessels with dread. "That certainly doesn't look good…" He hoped that Lily and Leo and the rest of their friends could handle a threat of this magnitude. Otherwise, it looked like he might not be able to make it back to his dear Luverin after all…

…

Under the water nearby…

"Sir, the fleet is in position," a lieutenant, a Walrein named Shelly, reported to the Supreme Admiral.

The Nihilator grinned evilly. "Excellent…and Kyogre has almost finished recovering from her wounds, so soon we will be able to sink this entire island beneath the waves for all time…bring us to the surface! I think it's time we met these so-called pirates face-to-face…" He cackled. "Not to mention Ash…this is a reunion millennia in the making! My revenge is almost at hand….and then _her_ memory can finally rest in peace!"

"Who's this 'her' he keeps talking about?" another lieutenant, an Azumarill named Matt who had only recently been promoted to the command deck, whispered to Shelly as the Admiral started laughing insanely.

Shelly shrugged. "I dunno. Some old girlfriend or something of his, I think. He rambles about her so much I just tune him out whenever he's not giving an order."

"Oh," Matt said. "Uh…are _all_ the higher-ups this crazy?"

"No, most of them are even worse. Be glad you've never had to serve under Dr. Tarantulas or Bellum…" Shelly shuddered at the thought of those two beings, nightmares even among an organization of complete monsters. "And be thankful our boss isn't a Shadow Pokémon, or he'd be even nuttier!"

Matt looked at her in surprise. "He's _not_ a Shadow Pokémon? But I thought every Nihilator who's an admin or executive or above has to be one!"

"He didn't undergo the procedure. It would make him unable to control Kyogre or any other sea Pokémon, and might lose him the loyalty of those kids of his," Shelly replied.

"Ohhh," Matt said.

"What are you two whispering about? I thought I gave an order!" the Admiral yelled angrily, startling them. "Get us to the surface _now!_"

"Sir, yes sir!" they shouted, quickly getting to work.

The Admiral nodded and leaned back in his seat. "Ash…it won't be much longer now…"

…

Meanwhile, inside Mt. Blaze…

The Nidorina sobbed pathetically as the brutish barbarian Flareon on top of her thrust into her repeatedly, yet another in a very long line of violations she had suffered ever since being thrown into the breeding pits, her legs broken, her fangs pulled out, and her poison spines removed so that she could better serve as sex toy and egg-layer for the barbarian horde. "Stop weeping, you whore!" the Flareon snarled, spitting an Ember on her face and nearly putting an eye out. "You will bear the seed of Blazfur! You should be proud to receive such an honor, not whimpering like all the rest! It's no wonder you womon are all in the pits with an attitude like that, you are too weak to be of service anywhere else!"

"Should we be in here right now, Blazfur?" a Slugma asked somewhat nervously from the top of the pit. "There's a big battle going on outside, and they need every mon to defend the mountain!"

"Which makes this the best time to come in here," Blazfur grunted as he continued pushing into the Nidorina. "With most of the other guards and fighters occupied repelling the invaders, there's nobody to stop us from coming in here and having our way with these wenches without having to wait our turn."

"Well, I guess so…" the Slugma said, glancing around the chamber at the other pits, most of which were currently occupied by Pokémon who had had the same idea as Blazfur. "But I heard some of the enemy's made it inside the mountain. What if they come here?"

"Don't be ridiculous, why would they possibly want to come down here?" Blazfur scoffed. "There's nothing of value here but some crippled whores! Who'd care about those?" He snarled when he saw the Nidorina was weeping again. "I told you bitch, STOP CRYING!" He was about to bite her other ear off, when suddenly there was the sound of an explosion nearby. He glanced up in surprise. "What the-"

The door to the breeding pits was knocked off its hinges as the two guards they'd posted outside (the unlucky mons having drawn the short straws and so been denied a chance with the ladies) were thrown into it so hard that their spines shattered. A platoon of Draconian soldiers led by Team GSC stormed into the room, going out of their way to step on the bodies of the mewling and prostrate guards as they entered. They looked at the room, at the hundred or so medium-sized pits dug into the floor, each of which contained one to six female Pokémon chained to the walls in various states of suffering, with emaciated bodies and broken limbs and swollen infections wallowing in their own filth; at the numerous male Pokémon loitering about, laughing and hooting and cheering each other on as they vigorously raped the womon in the pits, ignoring their wails and begs for mercy. The barbarians in return paused in their molestations and looked up in alarm at the numerous heavily-armed Pokémon that had just barged in on their private party, at the looks of shock and outrage on their faces, at how their claws clenched and their muscles tensed and their eyes narrowed in cold fury.

"Kill them," Jimmy said finally, breaking the silence. "Every last one of them."

They did. They had caught the barbarians with their pants down (not that any of them had pants), and the rapists were unable to put up much of a defense against the righteous retribution of the Draconians. Their deaths were swift and not even remotely painless, as many of the soldiers went out of their way to make the monsters suffer for what they had done. More than a few genitals and other sexual organs were removed and fed to their owners in a fitting (although unoriginal) sense of poetic justice. Jimmy engulfed himself in flames and rolled about in a blazing Flame Wheel, crushing and incinerating the barbarians beneath his weight, not letting even the Fire-types go unscathed from the fires of judgment. Vincent broke bones and pounded faces in with swift strikes from his Vine Whips, caused blood to gush from dozens of cuts created by his Razor Leaves, and flattened barbarians using Body Slam.

And Marina, who had been so terrified at the thought of this place when she had heard her team was coming here that Jimmy had been afraid to leave her side lest she succumb to hysterics, was the most violent and terrifying of all, as if something inside of her had snapped upon seeing the unfortunate womon imprisoned and abused in this nightmarish place. With her Water Gun, she extinguished the flames and drowned the barbarians who were foolish enough to attack her. With her Aqua Tail, she crushed more of the rapists and flung them into the walls hard enough to break their bones. And with her bare claws she tore them limb from limb, sending body parts and organs flying everywhere as she ripped them to pieces in a mad frenzy, staining the floor and her blue scales red. When she spotted the terrified Blazfur trying to scramble out of the pit he had been in when they had arrived, she surged over and kicked him back in, then jumped down after him.

The Flareon struggled to get back up and mount a defense, but she grabbed him by the tail and wildly flailed him all over the place, bashing him against the walls and floor until most of his teeth had been knocked out and his eyes were swollen shut in pain. Now _he_ was the one to cry and whimper and beg for mercy, pleas which fell on deaf ears as the battle-crazed Feraligatr put him in her jaws and bit down so hard that he was broken in half, his screams of agony echoing throughout the cave. Not finished yet with him, she dropped what was left of him on the ground and stomped on his head again and again and again until his skull caved in and his brains splattered the floor and covered her foot. Her chest heaving, her eyes bloodshot and mad, she turned towards the horrified Nidorina cowering against the wall, loomed over the broken and weeping Poison Pin Pokémon…

And engulfed her in a gentle hug, tears of her own falling down her snout. Jimmy, standing at the edge of the pit, shook his head and turned away, watching the Draconians finish off the last of the barbarians with a cold look on his face. He tapped his badge. "Scotty, we've taken the breeding pits. The barbarians didn't put up much resistance."

"_Good job, laddie. And…how bad is it?"_ The Abra asked.

"Very bad. Get the Joys mobilized, they'll have a lot of work ahead of them once we have the females ready for transport," Jimmy said.

"_I'll tell 'em. Good job on a successful mission, lad,"_ Scotty said, signing off.

"Funny," Jimmy muttered, looking at all the carnage they had caused…and the even worse things the barbarians had been doing to these womon for years, unchecked and unstopped until now. "I don't feel very good about it…"

Vincent, his face blank with horror, approached the Typhlosion. "Jimmy," he said quietly. "There are pregnant womon and children in those pits."

"I know," Jimmy said.

"They…_they_ _raped pregnant womon and children, Jimmy!_" Vincent cried, his voice breaking as it hit a shrill note.

"_I know_," Jimmy said.

Vincent shook his head dazedly. "This…isn't what I was expecting. Not by a long shot."

"What were you expecting?" Jimmy asked angrily, his flames blazing up. "That it would look like one of those pleasure palaces you read about in those hentai of yours?"

"S-something like that, yeah," Vincent admitted. "All those things I said to Marina…I didn't know it would actually be like this!"

"Places like the ones you read about don't exist," Jimmy said flatly. "No matter how fancy it looks or appealing to your masculine ego and parts, in the end it's nothing more than a heartless institution that exploits womon and forces them to put out to greedy, lecherous, perverted customers to earn money for their uncaring 'employers.' Strip the romance and fantasy away, and they aren't that different from places like this."

"Yeah," Vincent said quietly. He bent his long neck to look down at Marina, still hugging the Nidorina in the pit. "I've never seen her this angry before. The things she did…I didn't know you could do that to a Pokémon. I didn't know she could do that. Why…why was she so angry? I thought she was terrified of this place."

"She is terrified. That's why she reacted the way she did," Jimmy said. "Or didn't you know? Her mother died in a place like this."

Vincent looked up in alarm. "She did?"

"Marina was born in a place not too different from this…thankfully, her egg was rescued by one of our teams and brought to Pokémon Square before she could be hatched into that lifestyle, but it was too late for her mother," Jimmy said.

"…I…I had no idea," said the shocked Vincent. "She never told me. I've known her all her life, but she never said anything about that."

"It's not something she wants to talk about, understandably," Jimmy said. "I only found out by accident. I've never brought it up."

Vincent frowned. "But…Jimmy, Scotty and Aaron and all the others…they had to have known how she'd feel about coming to a place like this! So why would they…"

Jimmy shrugged. "I confronted them about it after the big meeting. It turns out she volunteered for this when she heard we were going to attack Mt. Blaze."

Vincent blinked. "Huh? She volunteered? But why?"

"You'd have to ask her. My best guess is she wanted to confront her past…or maybe she saw it as some symbolic gesture to avenge her mother. Or maybe to keep anyone else from being born in places like this. Or maybe something else entirely," Jimmy said.

"But…if she volunteered, then why was she always so scared about coming here? And why did she not seem to know about the pits at the meeting?" Vincent asked.

"Just because she volunteered didn't mean she wasn't afraid, especially as the day of the attack grew closer and the implications of what she'd agreed to became clearer," Jimmy said. "She feigned ignorance back then so we wouldn't realize it was because of her that we were assigned here. Like I said, she didn't want anyone to know her history with these kinds of 'facilities.' She was worried it would make us think of her differently."

"A little late for that now," Vincent murmured, looking at the bloodstained Feraligatr and shuddering. To think, he'd harbored a crush on her all these years, and he'd never known about any of this…then again, had he ever thought to ask? For the first time, he started to wonder if perhaps she _had_ made the right choice in selecting Jimmy to be her boyfriend instead of him after all.

"Sirs, we've secured the area," a Gabite named Gila, commander of the Draconians assigned to Team GSC, reported as he came up to Jimmy and Vincent.

"Are there any surviving barbarians?" Jimmy asked.

Gila shook his head. "All the enemy combatants have been neutralized."

Jimmy smiled thinly. "Good work."

"How are the womon?" Vincent asked.

"We've got our field medics working on them now…I won't lie to you, sirs, it's pretty bad. I'm not sure all of them will be able to last long enough to be transported to the Joys," Gila confessed.

"Do the best you can," Jimmy said. "We came here to rescue these people, and that's exactly what we're going to do."

Gila nodded. "Sir, yes sir!"

"Do you think the others are seeing anything as bad as this?" Vincent asked as the soldiers started carefully removing the prisoners from the pits, some of the females so far gone that they didn't even seem to register what was happening around them.

Jimmy sighed. "I won't lie to you, Vincent…some of them might be seeing worse."

Thankfully, while pretty bad, the barracks where the barbarians brutally trained children to be soldiers, including boys they had stolen from their parents and managed to reshape into killing machines through years of harsh torture and indoctrination, weren't as bad as the breeding pits. They were still fairly awful, though. There was a reason they were called the 'culling grounds.'

The barbarian in charge of the barracks, an Armaldo named Mack, laughed in the faces of Team Constrictor and the soldiers they had brought with them, safe behind the ranks of his five dozen or so child soldiers, each of them wearing armor that didn't look quite right for them, wielding weapons too big for them, and showing more scars and bruises than a Pokémon that age should have. "Why do you hesitate, intruders? You have us outnumbered and outmatched. Why have you not finished us off by now? Surely you aren't afraid of some children! Or are you 'civilized' Pokémon as cowardly as we have always heard?" he taunted over the heads of his charges.

"You're the coward, you wretched fiend, using children as a shield!" Ursula said angrily.

"A true warrior uses every advantage to seize victory! The fact that you are unwilling to do this proves you are no warriors," Mack sneered. "A true warrior doesn't care who his opponent is! Gender or age mean nothing, if they're in your way, then you kill them!"

"Kill them! Kill them! Kill them!" the kids in front of him chanted, as had been drilled into them over the agonizing months and years they had spent in this place.

Cress bristled, her tentacles wriggling violently. "That bastard…look at what he's done to them! The physical abuse is bad enough, but the things he's done to their _minds…_"

"I'll sting him into submission then choke him to death," Tricia snarled.

"We'll have to get past those poor dears he's using as shields, first," Ursula said. "Children!" she shouted, raising her voice. "Surely you don't want to protect that cruel beast behind you, do you? He's done nothing but hurt and torment you!"

"Pain is good! It means you're alive!" a Teddiursa shouted mindlessly.

"He is a servant of the Monkey King, as are we all! Our place is to obey, not question!" a Charmander said zealously.

"If we die, we die for glory and for Gal!" a Tyrogue cried.

"All hail Gal! All hail Gal! All hail Gal!" they chanted.

Ursula sweatdropped. "Wow…they've really done a number on the poor things, haven't they? I guess it goes to show you don't need Psychic powers to brainwash someone…"

"No, but it makes things easier," Tricia said.

"Ma'ams, what should we do? We can't attack with those children in the line of fire! They may technically be combatants, but they're still children!" said Tylta, the Altaria commander of Team Constrictor's Draconian detachment.

"Well, they may be brainwashed into fighting for the Monkey King…but we know a few deprogramming tricks of our own," Ursula said, taking off her Rescue Kit and digging around in it for a few minutes. "Now, where did I put…ah, here we go! If _anything_ can do the trick, it's this!" She pulled out a cardboard box and flipped it open to reveal…

"Who wants cookies?" Cress shouted.

"Freshly baked just this morning! Come get them while they're chocolatey and yummy!" Tricia said, wiggling her tentacles at the few dozen chocolate-chip cookies in the box.

Tylta sweatdropped. "Seriously? That's your plan?"

"Don't beat it until you've tried it," Ursula said.

Mack barked. "Ha! Like a puny incentive like that will sway my troops!"

"Really?" Cress said. "And just what have you been feeding them lately?"

Mack hesitated. "Um…well…"

"Because whatever it is, it can't _possibly_ be as good as Ursula's cookies," Cress boasted.

Tricia nodded in agreement. "They're mmm-mmm good!"

The children blinked and stared at the box of enticing cookies. A few of their stomachs growled, reminding them that they hadn't eaten that week. But surviving hardship was the mark of a great warrior, and giving into temptation was weakness, and weakness meant death, and after seeing so many of their classmates 'culled' and made into dinner, none of them would be swayed by this transparent trick and fail in front of their teacher and peers. They were stronger than that! They were members of the Burning Horde!

And yet…something about this offering seemed familiar. The word 'cookie' struck a chord in the hearts of the children who had been taken from towns and villages, unearthing memories long buried beneath abuse and brutality and traumatic scars of a home and family that they had forgotten even existed. But…Mt. Blaze was their home, and they had no need of family save the horde…or did they? They hesitated, their confusion and uncertainty and the enticement of half-remembered memories and dying dreams tearing them apart. Seeing this, Ursula decided to give them a little push.

"Tylta, do you think you and some of the others could create a small Gust? We seem to be downwind, and I don't think they smell us as well as they should." Ursula said.

"Er…all right, but what good will that do?" the Altaria asked.

"Just do it, Ursula knows what she's doing," Cress said.

Tricia nodded. "If this doesn't get them running, nothing will."

"Well…all right," Tylta said dubiously. She and the other winged Draconians started softly beating their wings, creating a current which blew over the heads of the child soldiers. They blinked and looked up, sniffing as a strange scent filled the air…a scent that was familiar to some, and new to others, but absolutely delectable to all.

Mack frowned, bewildered. "I don't know what you're trying to do, but I can guarantee it won't work! Enough of this! Troops, get them!" Some of the children stiffened, but seeing that most of their peers were standing still with their noses lifted into the air, they hesitated, uncertain. "What are you waiting for? I said, get them!" Mack snapped.

Numerous eyes widened in recognition of the odor, and many mouths watered. "Ch…ch…" an Elekid stammered, the word he was looking for on the tip of his tongue.

"CHOCOLATE!" a Munchlax cheered.

And with that cry, it was as if a spell had been broken, and all the Pokémon who had come from civilized households dropped their weapons and rushed over to Team Constrictor, their months of training and indoctrination forgotten as memories of their mothers' kitchen and a fresh batch of cookies overwhelmed them, returning a sense of joy and innocence that they had thought beaten out of them long ago. Ursula laughed as the children begged and pleaded and eagerly reached for the box, which she quickly lifted out of their reach. "Now, now, calm yourselves, children, I brought enough for everyone!" She reached into the box with her other tentacles and started distributing cookies into greedy paws with the help of her teammates.

The Draconians gaped in disbelief. "No way…that actually worked?" Tylta whispered.

"No, it didn't!" Mack bellowed angrily. "I don't know what magic you've cast over my recruits, but it hasn't worked on all of them!" He gestured smugly at the remaining few dozen children surrounding him, Pokémon that had either grown up in the wild or were born in Mt. Blaze and so had never tasted chocolate before and thus had no happy childhood memories to snap them out of their brainwashing. "Your fellow soldiers have betrayed the Monkey King and deserted him! Punish the traitors! KILL THEM ALL!" The children blinked, their hunger and curiosity forgotten as their conditioning kicked in, lowering their weapons and preparing to charge…

Until one of the kids swarming around Team Constrictor, a Wynaut, turned around and waved a half-eaten cookie in the air, chocolate smudged around its lips. "Come try some, they're really good!"

The barbarian brats hesitated. "They are?" a Magby asked hesitantly.

"Oh yeah! Much better than gruel!" a Chingling said.

"Come on and get some before we eat them all!" an Igglybuff said.

"What? No way! Leave some for us!" a Chimchar cried, the threat of being left out breaking through to his more primal instincts. He dropped his weapons and ran over.

One by one, the other children dropped their weapons and joined him, much to the horror of their trainer. "W-wait! What…what do you think you're doing? You can't do this! You're abandoning your duty to the Monkey King! You're betraying everything I've tried to teach you! Have you learned nothing?" Mack cried.

"NO!" they all shouted.

"Nothing worth learning, anyway," Cress said.

"I believe that's your cue to get him," Tricia commented to the Draconians.

Tylta blinked. "What? Oh, yes! Yes, of course! GET HIM!"

Mack paled as the soldiers roared and charged at him. "Oh, shit!" He tried to run for it, but didn't make it more than a few feet before they caught up to him and knocked him to the ground, pounding and clawing at his armor as the children cheered at the savage beating of their sadistic tormentor.

"Serves him right," Cress said, pleased.

"Another job well done, girls!" Ursula said.

"Yes, except for you teaching these impressionable children it's all right to take candy from strangers," Tylta said.

There was an awkward pause. "Er…" Ursula said.

"No, we're teaching them to take candy from _Rescue Teams and soldiers_," Tricia said quickly. "Perfectly reasonable and trustworthy authority figures. There's nothing wrong with that lesson, is there?"

"…I suppose not…" Tylta said dubiously.

"There are worse things they could have learned from this, anyway," Ursula said, tapping her badge. "Scotty, this is Ursula. We've rescued the children. Mission accomplished."

"_Good job, lassy. Remember to take any eggs that might be lying about before you go. Wouldn't want any bairns to be left behind when that place gets blown sky-high, aye? Some of them may be born from barbarian loins, but that doesn't mean we should leave them to die!"_ Scotty said.

"And yet it's perfectly fine to let Master Yamiri kill those Devil Golems before they hatch?" Ursula said disapprovingly.

"…_They're _Devil Golems,_ lass. They're _evil._ They can't be allowed to live!"_ Scotty said.

"Oh yes, and nobody's ever made the same argument about eggs laid by barbarians? Just because something was created by evil means doesn't mean it's going to be evil itself!" Ursula said stubbornly.

"_Oh for the love of…look, now's not the time to be moralizing, lass!"_ Scotty said in exasperation. _"The Devil Golems are going to die. End of story. Ye've finished yer mission, so don't go complaining about somebody else's! That's not your job! Got it?"_

Ursula sighed. "Got it…"

"_Now get those kiddies out of there! That's all ye need to do now! Can ye handle that?"_ Scotty said.

"Yes, Scotty…" Ursula grumbled.

"_Good. I'll see ye back in Pokémon Square with the others soon, then. Scotty out."_

"I think you're taking the whole Golem-killing thing a little too personally," Tricia commented as Ursula muttered to herself about how stupid and Grumpig-headed the older Abra could be.

"It just doesn't sit right with me. You know I'm very pro-life," Ursula said.

"But it's better to kill the Golems now while they're still developing than to fight them when they're hatched and at full power, isn't it?" Cress asked.

"It's _easier,_ yes, but is it necessary? How do we know they'll be evil when they hatch?" Ursula persisted.

Tylta rolled her eyes. "You're a bit of an optimist, aren't you? I'm surprised that's lasted this long in your line of work…"

"On the contrary, it's _because _I'm an optimist I've lasted this long. Do you think this place is the first of its kind that I've been to? Do you think this is the worst I've had to rescue children from?" Ursula countered. "It's because I believe that evils the likes of which these barbarians have committed are abnormalities rather than something we're all capable of that I can get out of my pool every morning." Tylta blinked, reevaluating her opinion of the Octillery. She had more depths than she let on…then again, she _was_ a deep-sea Pokémon…

While teams such as GSC and Constrictor accomplished their missions relatively quickly, other teams still had a way to go. Team Seasons and Team Tops were one such group, having fought their way through what felt like endless tunnels to reach the barracks and soldier's quarters they had been assigned to hit, relishing every life they took, feeling it was a fair trade for the lives that had been stolen from the people of their hometowns. If the Draconians thought the Rescue Team members were rather violent in their methods, none of them voiced any complaints. After all, this was war, and war did strange things to people. Not to mention it meant that much fewer enemies for them to worry about.

They were fated to be disappointed, however, when they eagerly burst into the barracks, hoping to take any soldiers still stationed there by surprise…and were shocked to find that someone had beaten them to it. At least a hundred bodies littered the floor, each a barbarian of unusual size and power, none of whom would draw another breath. It looked as if an ambush had been planned for them, and while on the one hand they were relieved they hadn't been caught in the trap, they were rather dismayed to see who had taken care of it for them. "What the heck is going on?" Joel demanded angrily, glaring at the couple dozen or so barbarians still standing in the center of the room, waiting for them.

Unlike the rest of the dead Pokémon scattered around the room, they seemed less mangy than most of the warriors, having clearly taken better care of their skin, fur, armor and weapons. They also looked a bit more disciplined. The recent scars and bruises on their bodies indicated they had taken a bit of damage in a recent fight—no doubt against the other barbarians littering the floor—but did not seem the worst for it. They were led by a Monferno who held himself high and had a startling amount of confidence and pride manifesting in his bearing and how brightly his tail flame shone. He also had clear eyes that were a little unsettling to look into, because of how…_determined_ he seemed. Oh, and he also happened to be wearing a Rescue Team badge and scarf, much to the bewilderment of Team Seasons and Team Tops. "Greetings, Rescue Teams, Imperial forces. We've been waiting for you," the Monferno said.

They exchanged confused looks. "You were?" Cameron asked.

The Monferno nodded. "I knew when the attack began that some of you would come here sooner or later. I thought I'd make things a bit easier for you by clearing out some of your opposition so that we don't have to worry about any interruptions when we talk."

"And why should we talk to the likes of you?" Keith snarled. "What could you possibly have to say that we might want to hear?"

"Unless…" Wendy gasped, a thought occurring to her. "Are you one of us? A secret agent or something?" Her teammates stirred, wondering if this was indeed the case.

"No, but I wish I were," the Monferno said with a smirk. "Let's just say I'm a Pokémon who's seen the error of his ways and wishes to help the right side win this conflict."

Sven narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Oh, so you saw the change in the wind and thought you might want to side with the new strongest? Sorry, pal, but we don't accept cowards and traitors in our ranks, _especially_ not barbarians!"

"It has nothing to do with cowardice and everything to do with honor," the Monferno said calmly. "I can no longer participate in or allow the atrocities my comrades-in-arms are committing to continue. I wish to defect to your side so that I may put a stop to the monstrosities we have become…and, if possible, redeem us someday."

"Riiiiight," Elita said, not believing it for an instant. "Nice story. Why should we believe this isn't some cheap ploy to stab us in the back or save your own hide?"

"If it were, then would I be asking for amnesty not just for myself, but for all my mons?" the Monferno asked, gesturing to the Pokémon behind him "They feel, as do I, that the Monkey King has gone too far. There is little we can do about it, however, unless we are part of those who actively oppose him and everything he stands for."

"…He may have a point," Sven said reluctantly after a moment. "I've never known any barbarian to risk their lives to save anyone else…self-centered little bastards. If he's serious about saving people other than himself…"

"But we can't trust him!" Keith said angrily. "Even if he may have some 'honor,' he's still a barbarian! He's one of the guys who destroyed Vientown and Seasonburg! We can't listen to him!"

"I was not part of the assault on your hometowns, but I did not condone it," the Monferno said apologetically. "And I can understand how unwilling you may be to trust me, considering all the things my people have put you through. However…if you are willing to grant amnesty to my mons and I and allow us to join your side, I can give you some information you may find most welcome."

Joel snorted. "It would have to be some pretty good information for us to give _that_ to the likes of you!"

"Oh, it is," Goku Firebottom said, a grin forming on his face. "It most certainly is. What would you say if I told you that many of your friends were still alive…and that I know where you can find them?"

In another distant corner of Mt. Blaze, Teams Ebony, Frontier, LaMancha, and Snagem were still in pursuit of their elusive quarry, the traitorous T-Bone AKA Vicious, the Iron-Masked Marauder. They encountered more than a little opposition in their search, but considering they were four Rescue Teams and a rather sizable detachment of Draconian soldiers, it was safe to say the barbarians didn't have a chance. "So how do you guys find treasure and stuff, anyway?" Gonzap asked Spite, always looking for a way to make some profit. (What? He _was_ an ex-criminal.)

"I'm not exactly sure how we do it," Spite confessed. "We just seem to have a good nose for finding things, I guess."

"But you and your compadre don't have noses," El Toro said.

"None as fine as mine, anyway," Lobo Fuerte bragged.

"It's not something we _smell_ so much as something we _feel,_" Ebony said.

Rui perked up at this. "Oh! Is it like Aura?" Ever since she had met Aaron of Team Auraforce, she'd been trying to get him to teach her something about Aura to hone her own abilities beyond being able to read those of other peoples. They hadn't made much progress so far, but that was mainly due to time constraints rather than a lack of ability, which the Lucario assured her she possessed plenty of, she just didn't know how to use it.

"Mmm…no, more like each of us has our own sort of super-sense, I guess," Spite said. "For instance, I sense negative emotions-strife, hatred, etc. Treasure is usually associated with those, due to all the blood spilled over it, so it gives me something to target."

"And I have a natural instinct for where to find shiny and valuable things," Edgar said. "By combining our talents, we have a good treasure-hunting sense."

"Okay, but what about you three?" Wes asked Team Frontier.

Atlas shrugged. "Well, Samantha's species is good at deceit, so she has a feel for traps and hidden places because she knows where _she_ would put them if she'd designed the dungeon. I'm not exactly sure how Mac and I do it, but we also have a similar sort of _feel_ for where things might be hidden. We don't think it's Aura, but it's not really some Psychic power either, it's just something we both have, and we put it to good use."

"And when we partner up with Team Ebony, we can combine our abilities to find more than just treasure, like missing persons," Mac said. "In this case, T-Bone."

"That's a rather useful talent," Rosa said, impressed.

"Si, we could use that sort of thing," Zoro agreed.

"So could I…" Gonzap said wistfully.

"And where does this talent of yours tell us our quarry is?" the leader of the Draconian troops assigned to them, a Shellgon named Sherman, asked.

"Just up ahead," Edgar reported.

"But I sense a _lot_ of negative emotions," Spite said. "Grief, remorse, anger…hatred. We may be walking into some serious trouble."

"Then it's a good thing we're ready for it," Zoro said, drawing his sword.

They turned a corner and entered a medium-sized cavern…

And at last, found their prey. "T-Bone!" Atlas snarled, spotting the masked Tyranitar sitting by himself in the center of the room. "We've got you at last, you sonuvabitch!"

"…So. They sent you after me?" T-Bone smiled faintly. "I was expecting Team Auraforce, but I guess it's better than nothing. I was wondering when you'd find me."

Everyone tensed. "T-Bone, you're under arrest for betraying Pokémon Square to the barbarians and Team Rocket, and for selling out your teammates!" Samantha cried.

"The Mayor wants you alive, but he didn't say you had to be in one piece! Are you going to come quietly, or do we have to use force?" Mac asked.

"I hope we have to use force," El Toro whispered.

"Si, so do I," Lobo agreed.

"Not me…" Edgar murmured. "T-Bone's _tough._"

The Tyranitar slowly rose to his full height, looming over the other Pokémon even though he was standing several yards away. "So, you're bringing me in, huh?"

"That is the idea, yes," Zoro said.

"They sent all of you just for little old me? Wow, they weren't taking any chances, were they?" T-Bone commented. "Too bad none of it's necessary. I'm not going to put up a fight. I surrender."

There was an awkward pause. "You…do?" Wes asked in confusion.

"Well, that's anticlimactic…" Gonzap grumbled in disappointment.

"At least it means we don't have to get creamed by him," Edgar said in relief.

"You're giving up? Just like that?" Samantha cried incredulously.

"That doesn't sound like the T-Bone we know!" Atlas yelled.

T-Bone's eyes flashed. "The T-Bone you know? The T-Bone you know? The T-Bone you know is DEAD!" He tore off his mask, revealing his face. They staggered back, surprised by the countless self-inflicted scars covering his visage, at his bloodshot, sunken eyes rimmed with red from despair and exhaustion. "He died the minute he joined Team Rocket, forsaking everything he stood for, betraying his town and his best friends! Yes, he…_I_…may have done it to save my family, but that's no excuse! If I had been thinking straight, I would have gone to my friends, asked the people of Pokémon Square for help, because they would have jumped to give me a paw the instant I asked for it! But because of my guilt and pride, I sold my soul to Giovanni and became everything I've always fought against: a bully who'd betray everything he valued to get ahead!" He flung his mask away so angrily that it embedded itself in the wall, then sat back on his haunches, his face sagging. "It wasn't supposed to happen like this…Allen wasn't supposed to die, Charlie wasn't supposed to lose his wings or his mind…I was going to break them out as soon as I learned everything I needed to…but Gal didn't trust me enough, reasoning that if I betrayed someone once, how did he know I could be counted on again? Heh…I guess the stupid bastard was right, since I'm quitting Team Rocket to take my lumps and go back with you…betrayal's all I'm good for, anymore."

"…Then…you're sorry about what happened to Allen and Charlie? You regret it?" Mac asked dubiously.

"He does," Spite confirmed. "I can taste his guilt and self-loathing. It's quite delectable."

"Ew," Edgar said.

"I can see it too, in his Aura," Rui said. "He honestly is sorry for what he did…"

"And that takes him off the hook? Being sorry isn't good enough!" Wes said angrily.

"Si! Even if what you did was for what you believed to be a good cause, there is no excusing what you have done!" Zoro agreed.

"You don't think I know that?" T-Bone snarled, surging back to his feet. "You don't think I know that I can never be forgiven for betraying my town and my team? Allen and Charlie were my brothers, dammit! And I gave them up as easily as that, all for some promise Giovanni was dangling over my head…and even if he's going to deliver on it, to rescue my wife and child, the…the price was too high. Far, far too high. I can't face them again, not after what I did. They'll hate me forever…as well they should. So…" He shrugged. "I'm giving myself up. I can't live with the guilt anymore. I'll come back to town and stand trial and willingly take whatever punishment I'm given, because Arceus knows I deserve all that and worse. But if this is it for me…then at least I'll take down Giovanni with me. I'll happily tell the Mayor and everyone else everything I know about Team Rocket. With any luck, it'll help defeat him and make the bastard pay for pulling my strings and the strings of so many other people to get what he wants."

The teams exchanged glances for a moment, uncertain. Finally, Gonzap said, "Well…we were sent here to capture you, and if you're giving yourself up like that, then…I guess its mission accomplished and we can leave this warzone?"

"It looks that way," Rosa said.

"Scotty's not going to be happy that you came in so easily…he was hoping you'd put up more of a fight, and we'd need to rough you up a bit to bring you in," Samantha said.

"You can beat me up all you want…I won't fight back," T-Bone said. "If not, Scotty can do whatever the hell he wants to me once we get back to town. I know I deserve it."

"Yes, you do," Edgar said, nodding at the Draconian soldiers, who stepped forward with special shackles that had been designed to restrain T-Bone's immense strength.

The Tyranitar held out his arms to show he was willing to wear the bonds…and hesitated, drawing them back. The other Pokémon froze; suddenly worried he had had a change of heart. Their fears were alleviated, however, when T-Bone glared at them and said, "There's just one little thing. One condition to my surrender. If I turn myself in…you'll find them, won't you? My wife and my kid, wherever they are? Giovanni said his Rockets would find them, but…"

"But you don't trust him, especially not after your betrayal?" Wes asked. T-Bone nodded.

"He's right to, if _I_ were Giovanni I wouldn't carry through on my end of the bargain, or at least, not without some nasty little catch," Gonzap said from experience.

"T-Bone, I'm insulted you have to ask," Samantha said in disgust. "Of _course_ we'll rescue them, wherever they are. We're your friends! Well…we _were_ your friends, anyway. You should know better!"

"You should have come to us in the first place," Mac said. "If you had, you might not be in this situation now, and Allen and Charlie might still be all right!"

T-Bone sighed. "Yeah, I know. I wasn't thinking straight then. I haven't for a long time. I knew you guys would probably help, but I just wanted to be sure. That's all I wanted to know. I'm ready to go now." He held out his arms, and then hesitated again, much to their frustration. "Um…you _do_ have someone here to rescue Charlie, right?"

Zoro nodded. "Team Auraforce have headed to _Rey del mono_ (Monkey King) Gal's throne room to rescue him from that _monstruo_ and end his reign once and for all!"

"Good," T-Bone said, a genuine smile forming. "If anyone can save him, it's them."

"Especially since Charla's joined the team," Spite spoke up.

T-Bone grimaced. "She has? Yikes. Good thing she's not with you guys, she might not have taken my willing surrender so easily…er, wherever you're going to be holding me _is_ Charizard-proof, right?"

Rui raised an eyebrow. "Didn't you say you accepted whatever was coming to?"

"Yes, but that doesn't mean Charla doesn't scare the hell out of me," T-Bone said, holding out his arms for what everyone hoped was the last time. "All right, just get those cuffs on me and we can go-"

Abruptly, a green swirling vortex appeared in the air behind the Tyranitar, startling everyone. "What in the…" Sherman said.

"Ay carumba! Where did that thing come from?" Lobo cried.

"Not where…_when,_" an unfamiliar voice spoke from the vortex. It convulsed, and three figures emerged to stand before them. One was a Dusknoir wearing a pair of immense gauntlets made of same strange metal that looked as if it had been formed from outer space, with stars and galaxies flowing across its surface. One was a Grovyle with a sword sheathed at his side and a twig in his mouth, both blade and stick emitting a strange glow. For some reason the denizens of Pokémon Square couldn't quite put their paw on, something about him reminded them of Lucas the Sceptile, The final newcomer was a short pink fairy-like Pokémon with round toe-less feet, three-fingered hands, a large round head that came to a curved point, a pair of antenna tipped in green, and beautiful green eyes with thick black rings around them…a Celebi, a Pokémon that none of them had ever seen in the flesh before. All three wore black armbands with a big red 'R' on them, all three wore green badges that looked like a stylized Q resembling a vortex like the one they'd just come through, and all three of them had an air of unmistakable power that you didn't need Rui's Aura-sight or Wes's Psychic powers to detect.

Edgar gasped in horror. "Oh shit…it's a Grovyle…_with a sword!_ We're _fucked!_"

"I have a sword," Zoro pointed out. "I can take him."

"No you can't!" Spite said. "You may be badass because you have a sword, but Grovyle are even more innately badass. Add that with the badassery of having a sword and he's…he's so badass that I can't even fathom it! You can't possibly out-badass him!"

"Yes I could!" Zoro said indignantly.

"Actually, I don't think you can," Rosa said.

"Si, he has a point," Lobo agreed.

"Makes perfect sense to me," El Toro chorused. Zoro sweatdropped.

"Is that…a Celebi?" asked a stunned Atlas.

"I thought they were green," Mac said.

"She must be a Shiny Pokémon," Samantha said.

"Huh? She doesn't look that shiny to me," Mac said.

"No, a Shiny Pokémon is a Pokémon with an alternate coloration from the rest of its species," the Mawile said.

"Ohhh," Mac said. "…Then why's it called Shiny?"

"I have no idea," she admitted.

"T-Bone, who the hell are these guys?" Wes asked.

"I…I don't know, I've never seen them before," the Tyranitar said in confusion.

"You wouldn't have," the Dusknoir said, his voice deep and ominous and final, like the darkness at the end of time.

"We've never had any reason to reveal ourselves to you before now," said the Grovyle, his voice thin and lilting, bringing to mind a flowing river…but not one full of water.

"Not until now, anyway," the Celebi said, her voice soft and enchanting, reminiscent of a forest growing to maturation over thousands of years. "We're called Team Quantum. You may have heard of us?"

T-Bone gasped. "Team Quantum? Oh, shit!"

"Uh…so you _do_ know who they are?" Rui asked.

"Sort of…I'd thought they were just a myth, though! Rumor going around Team Rocket was that Giovanni has a special squad of enforcers that had control over time and were supposed to be from the future…they're called Team Quantum, and are always jumping about the timestream doing things nobody else knows about, their goal a mystery but supposedly in line with TR's own, because why else would they be working for Giovanni if it wasn't?" the Tyranitar said.

"They're time travelers?" Sherman cried in disbelief.

"Ooh, hey, do you know the winning lottery numbers for next week, then?" Gonzap asked hopefully. Everyone facefaulted.

"Wait a _minuto_…aren't Celebis supposed to be _dioses _dedicated to protecting the timestream?" asked the confused Zoro. "Why would one of them be helping a pack of _criminales_ like Team Rocket?"

Spite gasped. "Unless…the Guardians of the Omniverse are backing Giovanni and _want_ him to take over the world?"

The Celebi smirked. "It's…a little more complicated than that."

"Our purpose it to make sure the right events happen to create a perfect future," the Grovyle said, chewing on his twig. "And at the moment, assisting Giovanni will help us to succeed in our mission."

"So, what, you're just using him?" Atlas asked.

"Essentially," the Dusknoir said. "But we also do what he asks of us, so long as it will trigger the proper events we require to create the perfect future."

"But why do you need to create a '_perfecto'_ future in the first place? Are we at that big a risk of having a bad one?" Lobo asked.

Rosa gasped. "Wait…aren't Celebi also supposed to _destroy_ universes that become too awful to bear? Is our world at risk of _canceladura_?" Everyone started at this, though mainly because they had no idea what _canceladura _meant. (It means 'deletion.')

"No," the Grovyle said. "But it might become that way if things don't work out the way we believe they should."

"And that is why we have come to retrieve you, T-Bone," the Celebi said. "Team Rocket has not yet accomplished everything they've set out to do. If you were to return to Pokémon Square, you would blow the lid on them, which would not only ruin Giovanni's plans but also negatively affect the future of your town in the long run."

"Huh? How can taking out a megalomaniac trying to conquer the world possibly be _bad_ for us?" asked the incredulous Rui.

"Because in the final battle, Giovanni's aid will be necessary for a victory over the forces of evil," the Dusknoir said. "But if T-Bone returns with you and tells you everything he knows, then that aid will no longer exist."

"Ooh…freaky," Edgar said.

"Why the Abyss should we believe anything you say? You're creepy time travelers who are apparently trying to shape our destinies without letting us have any say in it! Why should we go along with this TS?" Wes asked angrily.

The Grovyle shrugged. "We don't care if you believe us or not. We _are_ trying to ensure that all of you get a happy ending, no matter how skeptical you may be of it."

"And right now, to make that happy ending more likely, we need T-Bone to come with us," the Celebi said, glancing at the Tyranitar.

T-Bone snarled and took a few steps back, towards the group that had been sent to arrest him. "Screw that! I've already made up my mind. You can tell Giovanni that I've had enough of his machinations…and yours as well, if you happen to be pulling his strings and are the reason I'm in this mess I am now!"

"We didn't do anything to you," the Grovyle said. "It was your choice to join Team Rocket, remember? We didn't influence you in any way."

"How do I know that? How do I know you didn't have something to do with my wife and egg getting stolen? How do I know you didn't have anything to do with Gal not trusting me and getting Allen killed?" T-Bone accused them. "You're time travelers! There's no telling how many things you've done that's affected everything that could have happened up to this point…and I don't want anymore of it! Regardless of how much of a hand you did or didn't have in any of this…I'm going to take responsibility for the things I've done and face my punishment like a mon. I don't want anything more to do with you or Giovanni or anyone else from Team Rocket. I quit!"

"Yeah, that's the way to tell them!" Mac cheered.

"Way to go, T-Bone!...Did I really just say that?" Spite wondered in surprise.

The Celebi raised an eyebrow. "Are you so certain? You may want to reconsider when you hear what we have to say."

T-Bone frowned. "What're you talking about?"

"We've found the base your wife is being kept at," the Grovyle said.

T-Bone stiffened. "What did you say?"

"We've found your wife," the Grovyle repeated. "We managed to extract the information from Hunter J."

"Giovanni is already mobilizing teams to rescue the Pokémon J has sold to Nihilators, collectors, slavers, and other unsavory types around the world," the Dusknoir said. "If you return with us, there's still time for you to join the team to rescue your wife."

"That's why you joined Team Rocket, in the first place, isn't it? To save her and your child?" the Celebi asked.

"Whom we've also managed to locate, by the way," the Grovyle said.

"If you return with us, you'll be able to save them. Refuse…and there's a chance you'll never see them again," the Dusknoir said.

T-Bone hesitated. "I…"

"T-Bone, do not listen to them!" Zoro shouted.

"We promised that _we'd_ help you save her, remember?" Atlas said.

"You even admitted you should have come to us for help in the first place! You _know_ we can be counted on, unlike these shady types!" Spite said. "You shouldn't rely on these punks again, not after everything they've made you do!"

"And aside from that…while they may know where your wife is, you don't need their help to get your kid back. We already know where he is!" Wes said.

T-Bone whirled around in surprise. "What? You do?"

Rui nodded. "He was found several weeks ago and hatched by Ash of Team Aurabolt. You remember him, don't you?"

T-Bone blinked. "Ash? The Lucario who thinks he's a human? He's got my kid?"

"Si, and a fine boy he is!" Rosa said.

"When he's not screaming his head off, anyway," Lobo said.

"He has the power of Aura, much like Senor Ash himself," El Toro said. "He is being trained how to unlock its full potential!"

"Aura? That's amazing! But…" T-Bone frowned. "That means…if Ash is raising him, he doesn't think I'm his father…does he even know?"

"He does," Gonzap confirmed. "And he's not sure what to think of you, given everything you've done so far, which is rather understandable."

"…He should hate me. Ambivalence is more than I deserve," T-Bone said.

"Maybe so, but if you go back with Team Rocket and turn your back on your responsibility…if you fail to even _try_ to make up for the crimes you've committed…he'll certainly hate you!" Edgar said.

"But if you come with us like you said you would, you'll show that you still have some vestige of honor left in you…that maybe you're not beyond redemption," Rui said.

"He may even be able to forgive you one day…but he won't if you turn your back on us again, and your wife _certainly_ won't once she hears how far you've fallen in your efforts to rescue her. Do you think she's going to appreciate how much you've betrayed your principles for her sake? I doubt it…but if she knows that you admitted your mistakes and accepted your fate with dignity, then maybe she'll believe that the mon she fell in love with isn't completely dead," Wes said.

"I…yeah…yeah!" T-Bone growled, a look of resolution coming to his face as he glared at Team Quantum. "Screw you guys! I'm going to go with the people I should have gone with in the first place…the people I knew I could trust!"

"Even if it means you'll never see your wife again?" the Dusknoir asked.

"Like the Abyss I won't! Even if you guys wind up rescuing her, Pokémon Square'll just rescue her back!" T-Bone said.

The Rescue Teams nodded. "That's right, we will," Atlas said.

"It's what we do," Samantha said.

"After all, we _are_ called 'Rescue' Teams for a reason," Edgar said.

"And since I already know now that my son is fine, even if he's being raised by another Pokémon whom I suspect may be mentally unhinged, Team Rocket no longer has any hold over me! I'm through with you!" T-Bone declared.

The Celebi sighed, looking rather regretful. "Well, I appreciate your determination…honestly, I do…unfortunately, our timetable doesn't allow for that, so we're going to take you back, with or without your permission."

T-Bone growled. "Oh yeah? I'd like to see you try!"

"If you insist," said the Celebi, snapping her fingers. T-Bone abruptly stiffened and turned somewhat grayish, almost like a statue.

"Wait…what did you do to him?" Mac cried.

"He's not dead, I can still see his Aura, it's just…frozen," said a disturbed Rui. "I've never seen anything like it…"

"As T-Bone said, we can control time," the Dusknoir said. "Paradox used her powers to freeze him in time. He is trapped between seconds…for T-Bone, it will seem as if no time is passing at all. When next he is active, he will be back in Team Rocket headquarters, where he belongs."

"And if you'll excuse us, we'll just take him and be on our way-" the Celebi, now dubbed Paradox, said, flying towards the Tyranitar…

Only for a series of energy blasts and projectile attacks to fly at her from the Rescue Teams. She frowned and opened a portal, causing the attacks to fly into it and disappear. "What was that for?" she asked.

"Didn't you hear T-Bone? He's not going with you!" Atlas shouted.

"He decided to face up to his mistakes and accept the punishment he deserves…we're not letting you take him!" Wes said.

"Weren't you listening? If we let you take T-Bone, things will be much more difficult for you in the future. Pokémon Square may even be destroyed," the Grovyle said.

Spite snorted. "Yeah, right, like we're going to let that happen!"

"We make our own future! We refuse to allow our destinies to be chosen by beings such as yourselves, who collaborate with _criminales_ and travel back and forth in time to make us do whatever you want!" Zoro said.

"Even if it's a destiny that will be better for everyone in the end? A future without war or pain or sadness?" the Dusknoir asked.

"It's a future we had no hand in making…one you didn't even _ask_ us if we wanted a part in!" Sherman said. "We refuse to be pawns in whatever scheme it is you're trying to pull…at least, one without our knowledge. If you had _told_ us about some of this beforehand, now, things might be different." The others stared at him. "What? I'm the servant of a god. I'm used to being a pawn."

Paradox the Celebi sighed. "Why am I not surprised that they feel that way, Crono?"

"They believe strongly in their own power…an admirable trait, but without understanding the bigger picture, they do not understand the far-reaching consequences of our actions," the Grovyle, Crono, said, chewing on his twig.

The Dusknoir clenched his fists, causing the stars swirling inside his gauntlets to ignite into supernovae. "If you will not allow us to remove T-Bone, then we have no choice but to take him by force."

"We have you outnumbered significantly," Zoro pointed out.

"And even if you can control time, you can't possibly defeat all of us! Er…can you?" Gonzap asked uncertainly.

"Perhaps, perhaps not," Crono said. "Which is why we brought reinforcements. Aeon?"

The Dusknoir pointed a hand back at the portal Team Quantum had entered through, and it expanded, convulsing and expelling several dozen Pokémon; a small army consisting of Sandshrews and Sandslashes, Rattatas and Raticates, Koffings and Weezings, Zubat and Golbat, Grimers and Muks, Ekans and Arboks, Drowzees and Hypnos, Cubones and Marowaks, Machops and Machokes, Oddishes, Glooms, Vileplumes, Houndours, Venonats, and Murkrows. All of them wore black caps and bands or shirts with big red R's on them. "You're not the only one with backup," Aeon commented to the surprised Rescue Teams and Draconians.

"That's a lot of Pokémon…" Samantha commented.

"Too bad most of them aren't especially powerful and share the same type weaknesses," Wes commented. "You guys _do_ realize a few good Psychic blasts from yours truly will probably wipe out most of your Grunt squad, right?"

"Then it's a good thing _we'll_ be occupying your time while our minions fight your minions," another voice said as four new Pokémon exited the portal.

"We're not minions!" Sherman said indignantly. "Well, not _their_ minions, anyway. Rayquaza's, yes, but not theirs!" The others sweatdropped.

"And who are you _payasos_ supposed to be?" Lobo asked the freshly arrived Camerupt, Slaking, Scizor, and Tyranitar, all of whom were wearing white bands or shirts with the Rocket logo on them.

Paradox winced as the four Pokémons' eyes lit up fiendishly. "You _really_ shouldn't have asked them that…"

"Pokémon-a-go-go!" the four shouted.

The Scizor pulled out a bass guitar and played a solo on it. "Even if you're in a hurry, stop in your tracks!"

The Camerupt took out a violin and played it. Somehow. No, I don't know how either. "Open your ears to our melodic attacks!"

The Slaking beat a rhythm on an ashiko drum. "The rhythm of rage pounds the ground!"

"Let the melody of ambition rise to the skies!" the Tyranitar roared, playing on a guitar

"If you don't know us, we'll cure your ignorance!" they shouted at once.

"Billy!" said the Tyranitar.

"Garret!" said the Scizor.

"Clyde!" said the Slaking.

"Tiffany!" said the Camerupt.

"Team Rocket's hot prospect band of key-shaker-and-taker celebrities! A name once heard and never forgotten! The Go-Rock Quads!" They played their instruments together as confetti drifted down from…somewhere.

Everyone stared blankly. Edgar clapped his wings together giddily until he realized everyone was looking at him, so he stopped. "…What the fuck," Gonzap said finally.

"Um…what?" said the confused Samantha.

Paradox sighed. "Yeah, most Team Rocket special units have a motto like that which they recite all the damn time. We don't really know why."

"They tried to make us come up with one too when we joined, but we convinced them we'd be better off without one," Aeon said.

"Ah," Atlas said, having no idea what had just happened.

"Zoro, why don't we have a motto?" El Toro asked his leader.

"Because we don't need one! It's _estupido!_" the Meowth protested.

"I don't know…you could learn how to play an instrument," Rosa said.

"I play the guitar!" Zoro protested.

"Not like they do," the Roserade said, causing him to facepalm.

"Let's…pretend that didn't happen, okay?" Sherman asked. "Now…who are you guys and what do you want?"

"Weren't you listening? We're the Go-Rock Quads! A special group of high-level Team Rocket agents, providing backup for Team Quantum," Billy said.

"Since the big Boss figured they'd probably be sending a ton of you squares from Pokémon Square after T-Bone, he thought it might be a good idea to send a ton of us, too," Garret said. "To even out the playing field."

"So if you want to take T-Bone, you're going to have to fight us for him!" Clyde said.

"And we always fight to win, so don't think it'll be easy!" Tiffany said.

"…Well, fine, if we really have no other choice," Atlas said wearily.

"I was spoiling for a fight anyway, and if it's not against T-Bone, it might as well be against _somebody_ worth a good scrap," Wes said.

"And, uh, I take it you guys'll be fighting too?" Spite asked Team Quantum.

"Naturally," Crono said.

The Shuppet sighed. "Figures…"

"Very well, we will take you all on! And, uh, El Capitan, you and your mons will handle the cannon fodder while we engage the enemy leaders?" Zoro asked Sherman.

The Shellgon nodded. "We'll do our best to keep them out of your way, sir!"

"This is going to be fun! We haven't had a good battle in ages!" Tiffany squealed.

"We may seem somewhat ridiculous, but I warn you, we're a lot tougher than you might think!" Billy promised the heroes.

"We see many futures. In all but a few of them, we win this battle. However, I find the fact that you wish to challenge us anyway commendable," Aeon rumbled, powering up. "If you believe strongly enough in yourselves, you may be able to change your destinies."

"We would rather be friends than enemies," Paradox said, spreading her arms as energy swirled around her. "But it would seem that fate has other plans in store. For the sake of the future, I'm afraid we must defeat you."

"Don't take it personally," Crono said.

"Gee, thanks," Wes snarked.

And so the battle for T-Bone, and (possibly) the future, began…

And in the deepest depths of Mt. Blaze, an even more epic battle was about to start. The party led by Master Yamiri cautiously entered the mammoth cavern deep beneath the earth, the same cavern they had seen in their mission briefing as the place where Groudon and the Devil Golem eggs were being kept…and Team A.C.T. had been betrayed. The chamber looked much as it had in the vision Latias had projected: a gigantic cave with a floor mostly covered in a lake of lava overlooked by numerous ledges and tunnels rising up along the walls of the room. In the lake sat a dozen or so _things_ that could be none other than the eggs they were here to destroy. They had grown even more repulsive in the time between Team A.C.T. had stumbled upon them and the present, the throbbing transparent shells having grown twisted spikes as well as becoming thicker but at the same time clearer, so that it was—unfortunately—easier to see what lay beneath the surface. The fetuses looked as if they had reached their final stage of development, having grown skin and claws and horns and fangs and tentacles and all sorts of other horrid protrusions, their magma-like hides blazing brighter and hotter than the lava they were immersed in as they leeched power and heat from the lake. Screaming faces occasionally appeared in the swirling flames and currents flowing across their flesh, the visages of the damned souls who had been sacrificed to create these abominations. They were also much bigger, each egg looking as if it was only barely able to contain the Golem within it, each twitch and fidget from the slumbering behemoths stretching the membranes encasing them more and more, and a few cracks were already visible in the surfaces of the eggs housing the largest and nastiest-looking Devil Golems.

All of them made the sign of Arceus's Wheel—or in the case of the Draconians, a circle symbolizing Rayquaza—at the sight of the Golems, humbled and horrified by the creatures they had come to slay. "No wonder these things are called _Devil_ Golems," Lady said, wrinkling her nose in disgust.

Melodi winced. "Gallant, do you sense it? Such malice…such hatred and bloodlust…it's pouring off of them in waves, growing stronger with each breath."

Gallant nodded. "I feel it too. These creatures are nothing less than pure evil."

"And Ursula kept going on about how immoral it was to kill these things?" Paris shook her head pityingly. "I wonder if she'd feel the same way if she were with us now."

"It looksss like we got here jussst in time, too…I don't think thossse thingsss are going to ssstay in thossse eggsss for much longer," King commented.

"We must destroy these abominations! Such mockeries of life and death must not be allowed to exist!" Morty the Haunter said viciously.

Master Yamiri nodded in agreement. "Right you are, my friend. We must destroy these things…not only to protect Pokémon Square and the rest of the continent from the destruction they will cause if they are allowed to awaken, but to allow the tortured souls giving them power to rest in peace. I, too, can feel their suffering and despair…and it makes me wish I were with Team Auraforce, so that I might help them to punish the Monkey King for committing such an unforgivable sin as creating these creatures!"

"It's a good thing you're not, though, otherwise you wouldn't be here to help us kill them," Forsythia said.

"So, Master, what do we need to do?" Reg asked.

"In each of your packs you should find the components necessary to assemble a lance," Yamiri said. "They have been blessed by Latias and myself so that they have the power to pierce evil, including the shells of those eggs. You should also find vials of holy water. To destroy the Golems, we must exploit flaws in the shells to drive our lances through them and into their flesh, which, while quite hard now, has not yet reached the near-impenetrability of their final forms. Once we have penetrated their armor, we must pour the holy water through the hollow tubes at the cores of the lances so that its purifying magics will enter the Golems' bodies and kill them from within."

"Sounds like a good plan to me," Roxie said.

"One question, Master," Grace said. "Well, two, really. Why aren't there any guards here to protect the eggs? And where's Groudon?"

As if on cue, the chamber started shaking ominously. The surface of the lava lake bubbled and hissed and exploded outwards as Groudon, magma and ember dripping from his armored hide, rose from the depths, the immense chains binding his form glowing with heat as he furiously tugged on them, eyes glowing red with fury and madness. The ancient god looked down upon the puny intruders to its domain and _roared_, causing parts of the ceiling to cave in and pillars of flame to erupt all around him.

"Ah," Grace said faintly. "That's where."

"No wonder we haven't encountered many soldiers down here…they figured Groudon's probably the only real defense these eggs need!" Forsythia said.

"Makes sense to me," Reg said. "I mean, I wouldn't exactly want to stick around in the same room as _that_ guy…"

"But couldn't his thrashing about smash the eggs? I mean, they may be almost as big as he is now," Lady said, noting with alarm just how big both the eggs and the Ground-type deity were, the latter approximately seventy stories tall and the former about two-thirds that. "But aren't his attacks powerful enough to break them?"

"No," Master Yamiri said. "The eggshells are much thicker than they look. No matter how much Groudon rages and roars and flails about, he cannot break them, which is unfortunate for us, otherwise this task would be a lot easier. Holy weapons are the only things that can penetrate the eggs…which means we must assault the shells while avoiding Groudon's attacks!"

"That's…not going to be easy," Morty said uneasily.

"Leave it to us, Master," Gallant said…gallantly. "We'll keep the beast distracted while you and the soldiers destroy the eggs."

"We will?" King cried in alarm. Lady elbowed him in the gut. "Ow! I mean, we will…"

Yamiri frowned. "Are you certain you will be able to handle him?"

"He's certainly going to be the biggest opponent we ever fought," Paris admitted.

"But so long as the nine of us work together, there's nothing we can't defeat!" Melodi said. "And besides, the bigger they are, the harder they fall, right?"

"So long as they don't fall on us, anyway," Roxie said. "That'd leave a mark…"

Yamiri nodded. "Very well…I will leave it in your expert hands. Everyone else! Start assembling your lances! I do not know how much time we have left, so we must strike while the Golems are still vulnerable!" The Draconians nodded and quickly began putting together the special weapons they had been given, ready to strike a decisive blow against the blasphemers who dared to defy their god-king.

"Are you all ready for this?" Gallant asked his teammates.

"As ready as we'll ever be," Forsythia said.

"This isn't going to be an easy fight, that's for certain…but I feel a lot more confident knowing we've all got each other watching everyone's backs," Lady said.

"And in the off chance that we fail…at least we'll all go together," Paris said. "I don't think I could imagine going on without any of you guys beside me…"

"Well, except for King," Grace said.

"…Hey! What did I do?" the Arbok hissed angrily.

"Let's not get all fatalistic about this and just focus on getting out in one piece. After all, what'll the kids do if anything happened to us?" Melodi asked. She frowned. "I wonder what sort of adventure they're having in Almiore, anyway…"

"They'll tell us all about it when they get back," Roxie said. "Just like we'll tell them about this when _we _get back."

"Assuming we _do_ get back. Which we will, of course," Reg said when everyone glared.

Forsythia rolled her eyes. "Okay, enough of this! Let's just go fight the big guy already. It's impolite to keep a god waiting, no matter how rude or obnoxious he may be!"

Gallant nodded. "Agreed. Team Raider…"

"Team AWD…" said Lady.

"Team Charm…" said Paris.

"LET'S GO!" they all shouted, running towards the edge of the lake. Groudon bellowed and leaned forward as far as his chains could reach, eager to crush and devour the weaklings who entered his domain.

Master Yamiri smiled as he watched the nine heroes rush to fight against their greatest opponent yet, his faith and trust in their strength telling them that they would be all right. _As will we,_ he thought, hefting his mace. _As soon as we destroy those eggs!_

And as Teams Raider, AWD, and Charm prepared to take part in a scuffle of legends, an even MORE climactic confrontation was about to take place, far above Groudon's prison.

The dark figure of Gal sat in his throne, not stirring in the slightest as he heard the sounds of explosions and screams getting louder in the hallway outside his chamber. He continued sitting still when the doors to the throne room were abruptly disintegrated as his two guards, a Rhyperior and Magmortar, were blasted into them hard enough to shatter their bones. He didn't even budge when Team Auraforce stormed into the room, followed by their Draconian contingent, Aura seething and flames burning and electricity crackling around their forms. "GAL!" Aaron shouted, slamming the butt of his scepter against the floor hard enough to shake the room.

The Monkey King grinned. "So…the legendary Rescue Team leader and Aura Guardian have come at last to face me. I was wondering when you would show up. I have waited a long time for the chance to face you, Aaron…"

"And I you…had I known what you were up to, I would have put an end to your atrocities long ago, Gal," the Lucario snarled.

"Hey, don't forget us!" Raiki said. "I'm the patriarch of the Thunderblade family and a samurai of great renown, and Charla's…well, she doesn't really have any titles, but she's a powerful fighter in her own right, and worth your recognition, no matter how you might feel about womon!"

"Gal! What have you done with my husband, you bastard?" Charla snarled.

Gal laughed. None of them were able to make him out very well, his throne was placed too far back from the lava pits for their glow to illuminate his form and for some reason the big torches on either side of his seat were unlit. However, Aaron's Aura-sight allowed him to see Gal more clearly…and he stiffened in horror, stunned at the transformation that had undertaken the Monkey King…as well as what had happened to Charlie, hidden in the shadows behind Gal's throne. "No…what…what in the name of…"

"Your husband? I have no idea who you're talking about, wench…" Gal said mockingly. "Unless, perhaps, you mean…my new pet?"

A torch against the back wall suddenly ignited, revealing that what had initially looked like a pile of old, smoldering coals was none other than Charlie…or what was left of him. The broken and pathetic figure curled up on itself, chained against the wall, bore little if any resemblance to the strong, proud Charizard that Team Auraforce was familiar with. Every inch of his body was covered in bruises and cuts swollen up with infection, caked with filth and ash and even more filth. The stumps on his back where his wings had once been were festering mounds of rotting flesh, pus oozing from open and diseased sores with every ragged breath. His tail flame, once bright and strident, had dimmed to a single ember, barely clinging to life. His fingers and toes were rather disgustingly scabbed over due to his claws being pulled out, his limbs looking knobby and having more joints than usual due to his bones being broken and reset the wrong way. His skin was practically hanging from those bones, scales peeling off with every motion and breath due to the extreme starvation and malnutrition he had undergone. Startled by the sudden light, he wearily lifted his brutally scarred and disfigured head, staring at them blankly through the one milky eye he had left, a dry tongue licking his cracked and bleeding toothless gums. A few of the Draconian soldiers threw up in horror, but it was into the convenient lava pits so it didn't inconvenience anyone. Roo was stricken with horror, finding the sight of the mutilated Charizard to be the most sickening thing she'd ever seen…and she'd seen some of the things Nuken did to people he _really_ didn't like. Aaron and Raiki were dumbstruck, barely able to reconcile their memory of Charlie with the tortured thing before them…and as for Charla…

"Charlie?" Charla whispered, blue eyes brimming with tears. "Charlie, baby, is that you? Don't you recognize me? It's…it's me, Charla. I'm your wife. The one you swore your heart to. You…you know who I am, don't you?" The wingless Charizard stared at her vacantly, his eye devoid of any sign of recognition or even intelligence. "Charlie…Charlie, please, speak to me, baby! I'm your wife! Your _soulmate!_ I'm here to rescue you! Don't you know _who I am?_" she wailed.

"He does not," Gal announced smugly. "He does not even know who he is, or where, or anything else for that matter. I have utterly broken him…everything that made him a thinking and rational Pokémon—not that he ever was much of one, brute that he was—is long gone. He is nothing more but an empty shell now; a plaything which I will discard when I grow tired of him…perhaps you would like him after I'm through? Or would your memories of what he was, what he used to be and never can be again, be too painful? Perhaps it would be best for everyone if I simply stamped out his tail flame and put him out of his misery? What do you think?"

Charla broke down in tears, her body shaking as she sobbed in despair. Aaron had become very still, but the way the ground around his feet had cratered, his fingers were putting dents in the length of his scepter, and blue flames were flickering around him showed how very, _very_ angry he was. "Gal," he said finally. "I have killed countless villains throughout my career. I have always done it out of a sense of duty, to protect the innocent, not because I took any pleasure in ending a life, no matter how unworthy it was. But you? You are the most disgustingly evil creature I have ever encountered. You do not deserve to draw another breath. When I kill you, I'm going to _enjoy_ it."

Gal's eyes flashed in anger, and firespouts erupted from the lava pits around the room. "Evil? You speak to _me_ of evil? You who have invaded my dominion, killed countless of my subjects, stolen our womon and children, pillage our treasuries, and seek to assassinate me in my own throne room? You dare to call _me_ evil?"

"Yes," Raiki said flatly. "Considering you've done pretty much the exact same thing to just about every city and town on the continent, were going to do the same to _our_ town if we hadn't decided to launch a preemptive strike, and because you torture and abuse your prisoners, which is something we _don't_ do. We may be trying to wipe you out of existence, yeah…but because you _deserve_ it, and as retribution for doing it to so many other people! This is a mission of salvation, not conquest!"

"I do what I do because it is my nature!" Gal protested. "In this world, the strong survive, and to become the strongest, I must do whatever it takes to ensure my survival! You who dwell in towns and cities and the 'civilized' world do not understand this! You try to tame the wilds, to go against your own natures, to mimic those worthless long-dead humans in their models of society and technology…and in doing so, you only doom yourselves! The humans were an evolutionary dead end. The fact that the gods did not see fit to resurrect them after the great disaster is proof of this! By following the same path they did, you too shall only go extinct! By relying on technology and denying your true natures as creatures of the wild, personifications of elemental power and the mighty forces of nature, you keep yourselves from being as strong as you need to be to survive!"

"And what, you're 'helping' us survive by killing everyone weaker than yourself and forcing everyone else to become that much stronger just to survive, and allying with an evil organization that wants to destroy the world using the same kind of technology you despise?" Roo said angrily. "That's TS. If that were true, then you're saying that you're torturing and enslaving and raping other people to try and make them stronger?"

"There is no shame in allying with the truly strong if it can make you stronger in turn. And those we defeat are clearly weaker than us, and therefore deserved to be beaten, otherwise we would not have prevailed over them to begin with" Gal said dismissively. "So why shouldn't we do whatever we please to them, to assert our dominance and prove our strength? I see nothing wrong with it."

"How does picking on the weak prove you're strong?" Raiki demanded.

"It means we're stronger than them, doesn't it?" Gal said, as if it were obvious. "You fools may scoff at my methods and the way I treat others…but your 'morality' means nothing to me. It is an artificial construct you 'civilized' Pokémon use to restrain yourselves and deny your true natures. I only do what seems natural. _All_ of those you call 'barbarians' do. We have given into our desires and the power they give us, rather than you, who deny them. That is why we have allied with those you call 'Nihilators,' for while they rely on technology; their worldview is not too dissimilar from our own. You arrogant city Pokémon believe that because you are 'civilized' you are superior to us, and that we are wrong for choosing to live the way we do…but you ignore the fact that, were you born in the same circumstances as we, if you did not have your precious 'morality' or 'society' to guide you, you would be exactly like us!"

"You're wrong, Gal!" Aaron shouted. "Most wild Pokémon do not behave as you do, even if they agree with your philosophy regarding the evils of civilization and technology! Most of them are perfectly happy to live in peace so long as nobody bothers them. It is you and your barbarians, who strive for war and dominate others, that are the outliers, the abnormality, not us!"

"You say we should all give in to our desires, that deep down, all of us are exactly like you," Raiki said. "You're wrong. While I can't honestly say that most people are 'good' at their hearts, I can say without a doubt that they aren't nearly as selfish or self-centered as you are, or think others are! You just use your twisted worldview to justify the fact that you're nothing but a sadistic monster who hurts people not because it's how nature is suppose to work but because you _enjoy_ it. Because otherwise, I don't see any other way to explain what the Abyss you did to Charlie! If you really believed so strongly in the 'weak' being dead-ends you would have killed him already rather than prolonged his suffering to this extent! If anyone's weak here, Gal, it's _you_, for taking such pleasure in the pain of others to hide from the fact that you're utterly alone in the world!"

Gal's eyes flashed in rage, and the cave started shaking again. "You…you who dwell in your soft beds with unnatural air conditioning and easily prepared meals and mind-rotting technology…you who break into my home and spit on my beliefs, you _dare_ to call me weak? Then stare upon the face of _true_ strength!" He threw back his arms and howled, causing pillars of fire to burst from the lava pits and for every torch in the room to ignite, allowing everyone to see just what sort of monster he'd become.

Roo gasped and made the sign of Rayquaza. "What in the name of the King?"

"Okay, that's new…" Raiki said as he gazed upon Gal, who was no longer an Infernape…or at least, not _completely_ an Infernape. Over half his body was now covered in red armor plates with white spikes growing from his sides and neck. Most of his belly had become gray, and his tail was thicker and covered in flexible plates ending in four hooks rather than being thin and supple like a rope. The toes on his left foot had fused into three claws, and his left hand had lost a finger and become an immense clawed mitt with a crimson crystal sphere imbedded in it, glowing malevolently in time with Gal's heartbeat. Most of his head had been covered in red ridged plates with long 'cheek' plates hanging down the sides, with only part of the right side of his face and eye still retaining their white fur and red markings. His ears had become spikes as well, and his head flame had become a blazing mane running down his back. His right arm, leg, and parts of his torso were the only parts of him that still looked normal, but from the weird veins bulging out of his muscles and the small patches of red armor slowly growing on them even as they watched, it was clear it wouldn't be long before they, too, were transformed. A glowing red mark resembling the lines on Groudon's arms were on his forehead and chest. In other words, it looked as if Gal were turning into a miniature Groudon!

"How…how is this possible?" Roo cried.

"It's the dark magic of the Red Orb…he's fused with it, and it's giving him the power of Groudon!" Aaron snarled.

Gal hooted, the chamber shaking in tune with his laughter. "Correct! You call me weak, foolish Rescue Team…but if that were the case, could I have forged a link between one of the strongest of gods, bending him to my will? Could I have absorbed enough of his power to become a god myself? You deride me for my actions and for allying with those you call 'evil'…and yet doing so has made me stronger than you can possibly imagine! How do you know that _you_ are not the ones who made the wrong choice?"

"Because we aren't crazy sickoes who enslave gods and imbed obviously evil artifacts into our bodies, that's why!" Raiki said. "Aaron, I've had enough of this maniac! Let's take him down already!"

Aaron nodded in agreement. "He has been allowed to live for far too long, an error I will be more than happy to correct…Charla, are you with us?" Charla didn't reply. She was staring tearfully at Charlie. "Charla?"

Gal sneered. "A typical womon, talks big but the moment trouble brews she-"

"I'll kill you," Charla said quietly.

Gal paused. "What?"

Charla turned to look at him, and the sheer fury and hatred in her eyes was so great that the Monkey King felt something akin to fear for the first time in years. "I'll kill you," she repeated calmly. "I will tear off your limbs, one by one. I will cut open your chest and disembowel you slowly. I will rip out your eyeballs and eat them. I will cut off your genitals and throw them into the lava. I will cut open your skull and remove your brain bit by bit until I find the part responsible for sentient thought and squash it under my heel. I will hurt you and hurt you and keep hurting you until you're dead…and my husband will watch the whole time, and even if he can't take pleasure in seeing you pay because what you've done to him, I will. And then, once you're completely and utterly dead, I'll find a way to restore him. I don't care how hard it is or what sacrifices it takes, I will get my husband back, because I refuse to let what you've done to him keep our child from growing up without a father. Do you understand me, Gal? Everything you've done to him has been for naught. I'm going to kill you, I'm going to save him, and I'm going to give him his wings back. I don't care if it takes a miracle; we've got Nurse Joy and a fucking goddess on our side so I know it's possible, I'm going to find a way to do it. We're going to get past this and leave you in the dust just like everyone else that our town's ever beaten. You who are so obsessed with survival will not even be a memory in the future we will create, your legacy and actions long forgotten by all. You will be _nothing_."

"That…that cannot be," Gal stammered.

"It can be. And it will," Charla said. "Starting right now." She roared, her tail flame blazing as she lunged at Gal, losing herself to her bloodlust.

Raiki blinked and glanced at Aaron. "Wow. She has a way with words, doesn't she?"

"Indeed she does," Aaron agreed. "Come on. We can't let her fight him alone."

Raiki nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I don't want her to kill the guy before we get a piece of him!" They both ran after Charla, who was already locked in combat with Gal.

"Commander, should we…" A Gible asked Roo.

The Kangaskhan shook her head. "No. This is not a battle the likes of us can take part in. We'd only get in the way. Watch and make sure no reinforcements arrive to interfere, this is a battle the likes of which we'll be telling our grandchildren years from now."

"Assuming they win," the Gabite said.

"Oh, I have no doubt they will," Roo said. "After all, they're Team Auraforce. Can anyone, even a warlord who thinks he's a god, defeat them?"

And as the trio of Aaron, Raiki, and Charla engaged the dread Monkey King Gal in a battle that would shake Mt. Blaze to its very foundations, one other personage watched the fight from the sidelines…and was it just the flickering of the flames, or was something akin to intelligence rekindling in Charlie's eyes as he gazed upon the three Pokémon fighting to save him?

Or was it, in the end, just a trick of the light?

…

Meanwhile, in Pueltown…

With the intermission over and the audience back in their seats, act two of _Maria and Draco _began. As the lights dimmed and Jerry, the Spirit, and the Granbull in the next booth over continued their rather ineffectual attempts to dislodge Hissssa from the doors she was stuck in, the curtains parted to reveal that the stage had been set up to resemble a magnificent ballroom, with fake chandeliers and candelabras, a pair of curved staircases surrounding a beautiful statue of Ho-Oh in flight leading up to a landing overlooking the dance floor, and a backdrop painted to look like a set of floor-to-ceiling windows gazing out upon a rolling lawn at nighttime. As the orchestra started playing a waltz, a number of Pokémon in period dresses started dancing together on the floor. However, two Pokémon were conspicuously stationary; Maren as Prince Ralse, standing at the edge of the set with an annoyed look on her face, and Evan as Maria, standing on the landing looking out the windows with a melancholy look on his face. Mary was nowhere in sight because she was a blade of grass and grass had no place in a ballroom, obviously.

Maren beckoned a Mr. Mime servant and whispered something into his ear. The Barrier Pokémon nodded and walked up the stairs to Evan, who reluctantly turned to greet him. "Madame, Prince Ralse is searching for his dance partner. Please resign yourself to this. You have become a dependent of the East, after all," the servant said.

Evan nodded reluctantly. "I sssuppossse I have no other choiccce…" He sighed. "Very well. I will danccce with him."

The Mr. Mime bowed. "Right this way, milady." He guided Evan down the stairs to Maren, who straightened and smiled as the servant and gown-wearing Ekans approached.

"Ah, Maria! Your beauty outshines the brightest jewels in my treasury. May I have the honor of this dance?" the Togetic asked.

Evan nodded unhappily. "If I mussst…"

"Yes, you must," Maren said. The two of them began dancing, the other couples moving to the sides so that there was a clear space for them in the center of the stage.

Hiss narrowed her eyes. "That husssy better not get any funny ideasss about taking advantage of my mon…"

"Don't worry, I think ssshe'sss gay," Ssa said.

Hiss blinked. "Really? How can you tell?"

"Eh, it'sss jussst a feeling I have," Ssa said.

"Could you two stop gawking and keep pulling?" Jerry asked in exasperation. "At this rate, you'll never get out of here!"

"Oh, sssorry," the giant two-headed snake said in apology.

The Granbull in Ssa's booth panted and wiped some sweat off his brow. "I say! I don't know if I'll ever come back to this theater again, this experience is rather turning me off of plays altogether!"

"Don't be so hasty, dear, I've heard there's a twist coming up that should more than make up for our unpleasant experience so far," his wife said.

The Spirit sighed in frustration. "This is taking too long…I fear we may be running out of time. Jerry, I'm afraid that if I'm to have any chance of stopping those fiends I must abandon you for the moment. Will you be all right on your own?"

"I don't think we really have a choice right now," Jerry said resignedly.

"I wish there were another way, but there simply isn't enough time. If you manage to extricate yourselves from this situation before the play ends, meet me in the area above the stage. That is where I expect our foes to be hiding," the Spirit said.

Jerry nodded. "Okay. Go get 'em, Spirit! We'll catch up when we can."

"I shall expect you soon, then. Farewell!" The Spirit spread his cloak and jumped out of the box, gliding elegantly over the heads of the oblivious audience and out of sight.

"Wow! That guy sure is cool," Jerry said.

"Yeah, real classsy," Hiss agreed. "Hey Jerry, how are we sssupposssed to get to that placcce he wasss talking about again?"

Jerry sweatdropped. "Um…"

"Will you guysss ssstop gawking and get me out of here already?" Ssa demanded.

"What do you think we're trying to do?" the Granbull grunted.

The Purugly sighed. "I _told_ you you should have worked out more. But noooo, 'Physical exertion is for the plebes,' you said. 'That's what we have servants and technology for,' you said. And look where that attitude's gotten us now…"

"Oh, like your pilates class has really helped you lose weight, especially considering how many chocolates you sneak when you think I'm not looking?" the Granbull snarled.

His wife gasped. "Oh! I never!"

"Yes, you do, actually! All the time!" he shot back.

Jerry groaned. "Is now really the best time for a domestic squabble?"

"Yes!" the couple snapped. Jerry and Hissssa sweatdropped.

On stage, the lights flickered, the props shook, and the actors gasped and staggered about. "What was that? An earthquake?" Maren cried in alarm when everything normalized.

A messenger ran into the room. "Your Majesty, the Western survivors attack!"

Maren gasped and Evan's face lit up with hope. "What? Impossible!"

He was proven wrong when the music ramped up and someone from offstage shouted, "ATTACK!" and Western soldiers poured into the room. The dancers screamed in terror and ran for their lives as Eastern soldiers swarmed onto the stage and engaged their counterparts in a magnificently choreographed fight sequence. Maren grabbed Evan and dragged him up the stairs and onto the landing, trying to get him to safety…

When suddenly the backdrop tore open as a giant robot hand smashed through it from behind, blocking their path. Maren started and backpedaled as the hand opened with a pneumatic hiss and an expulsion of steam, revealing Gary, clad in his armor and still wearing his sweet sunglasses (Not as cool as Leo's of course). "Wait!" he cried, hopping out of the hand and landing before the horrified Maren and the beaming Evan. "Maaaariiiiiaaaaa!" the Gengar sang, extending his arms towards the Ekans.

"Oh, Draco! IIIIII kneeeewwww yooooou wooould cooooome for meeee, myyyy loooooove!" Evan sang in reply, slithering forwards…

Only for Maren to drag him back and shove him behind her. "Insolent rogue! Knave of the Western Horde! You would address my queen to be, Mariiiiiaaaaa?" she sang angrily.

Gary growled. "Never shall you have Maria's hand! I would die before that day coooomes!" he sang in retaliation.

"Theeeeen its aaaaaa duuuuueeellll!" Maren sang, reaching for the sword hanging at her side…and into the pocket right next to it, pulling out a deck of cards.

Gary grinned and pulled out a deck of his own. "Very well…get your gaaaaame oooooon!" He and Maren struck dramatic poses as pyrotechnics and colored smoke exploded behind them and the orchestra started playing the 'Lu-Gi-Oh' theme song. The soldiers on the dance floor stopped fighting and moved out of the way as two platforms, one red and the other blue, rose from the stage. Gary and Maren leaped from the landing and landed on the platforms, each slotting their deck into a console on their respective platforms and causing lights to start flashing on their sides. About a dozen or so chorus members wearing hooded robes filed onto stage and started chanting ominous vaguely Latin-esque phrases. Gary and Maren pointed at each other dramatically while Evan looked on hopefully from the landing. "LEEEEEET'S DUUUUUEEEEEL!" they sang.

The entire audience stared in disbelief. Even Jerry and the couple in the other booth stopped their pushing to stare incredulously. "That's funny," the Purugly murmured, her brow furrowed in puzzlement. "I don't recall there being children's card games in the other renditions that I've seen…"

"You said there was a twist, but this is…well, it's something, all right," the Granbull said.

Jerry sweatdropped. "What was the writer thinking, doing this to a classic play?"

"I love it!" Hiss squealed, stars in her eyes.

"Yesss, the only thing that would make it better isss if Evan were dueling inssstead, ssso that 'Maria' could be an independent womon in her own right and not jussst a cliccched sssex sssymbol to be ressscued," Ssa said.

The Purugly glanced at the giant snake in surprise. "That's a very interesting and scholarly take on things. I'd never thought of it like that. Do you frequent theater often, to have developed such a fine sense of critical analysis?"

"No, thisss isss actually the firssst time I've ever been in one that wasssn't cccentered around myssself," Ssa said.

"Oh, so you used to be an actress, then?" the impressed Purugly said, her initial esteem of Hissssa rising quite a bit.

"Er…sssomething like that," Ssa said, which wasn't entirely far from the truth.

"You know, I used to strut a bit on stage a bit myself back in my youth…I was quite the looker back then," the Purugly said.

"_Wasss?_ You aren't ssso bad-looking now," Ssa said. "Your fur isss ssso sleek and glosssy, and that dresss you're wearing goesss _great_ with your eyesss!"

The Purugly tittered. "Why, thank you! My husband doesn't seem to notice, though…"

"Well, he hasss no idea what he'sss misssing!" Ssa said.

"…I'm right here, you know," the Granbull muttered. Neither womon acknowledged him, and started chatting about fashion and gossip and romance and other things.

Jerry sweatdropped. "Are we _really_ talking about this now? When we need to get out of here to help the Spirit save Team Nightshade and the theater, _including_ Evan!"

"Of courssse we need to talk about thisss now," Hiss said.

"…What," Jerry said flatly.

"Well, we want to look our bessst when we're sssaving hisss tail, don't we? And our new friend here ssseemsss to have _lotsss_ of fun acccesssorizzzing tipsss," Ssa said.

The Purugly laughed. "It's very sweet of you to say so! But I'm sure it won't take much more to get your boyfriend's attention…you're already rather stunning!"

Hissssa flushed. "Oh, thank you!"

"Oh, brother," Jerry and the Granbull groaned.

Meanwhile, in the rafters and catwalks high above the stage…

Team Perdition watched in anticipation as Gary and Maren engaged in a simulated duel beneath them, Pokémon dressed as Lu-Gi-Oh monsters appearing from trapdoors or Teleporting onstage in impressive displays of special effects to battle each other at their masters' commands while the orchestra played and the chorus chanted ominously in the background, not only making the duel seem more impressive but giving a fitting air to the scheming happening overhead, unbeknownst to everyone else. "It shall not be much longer now, brothers," Gooey hissed to his compatriots. "Just a little more, and they will be right where we want them."

"Once all four of them are on stage at the same time, we shall make our strike…" Sakurai said, grinning evilly. "We will expose their crimes for all the world to see, so that none shall ever think of them as heroes again…and once everybody knows just what kind of people they are…"

"Kill! Kill! Kiiiiiiiilllllllll!" Bug Fink slavered.

"That is correct, brother! We shall kill them all!" Gooey howled.

The terrible trio shook with laughter…until a kunai whizzed from the shadows, nearly striking Sakurai between the eyes but only managing to clip one of his petals because he dodged at the last instant. "What! Who dares?" the transfigured Cherrim cried.

"I do," Janine said, her voice velvety soft and cold as steel as she materialized from the shadows. "This play is VERY important to my beloved…I shall not let you or anyone else interfere with her mission!"

"Mind if I cut in on this dance?" the Spirit asked, appearing from out of nowhere on the other side of the startled demons. "These three are trying to ruin the debut performance of some of my pupils…in addition, they are trying to sabotage a work of art and use it to fulfill their thirst for vengeance, which in this city is a crime I take very personally!"

Janine's wings twitched. "You may join in if you wish. Just don't get in my way."

The Spirit chuckled. "I will endeavor not to, young lady."

Janine growled. "I am _far_ from young."

"Not compared to me, you're not," the Spirit said cryptically.

Gooey roared in frustration, his tentacles flailing wildly about as fireballs danced around him. "Enough of this! I will tolerate no interruptions in this, our hour of triumph!"

"If you wish to protect Team Nightshade, then you are our enemies too!" Sakurai said.

"So you all gonna !" Bug Fink shrieked.

Janine spread her wings and rose into the air. "I dance with death on a regular basis. Thugs like you hold no terror for me."

"Nor I…I've faced art critics scarier than you three!" the Spirit quipped. He drew a rose with a flourish, which burst into flower petals to reveal the hilt of a sword with a blade that looked to be made from solid moonlight. He swiped it through the air, silvery light trailing in the blade's wake. "So show me…what sorts of moves you bring to the dance!"

Janine and the Spirit began to fight the vengeful trio of Team Perdition, while beneath them Team Nightshade continued their play, blissfully ignorant of the struggle continuing over their heads…or how they would be drawn into it in the very near future.

They could not run any longer from the sins of their past…

…

Meanwhile, at the bottom of the ocean…

"_K'yaloh D'argesh F'ah!"_ said Mack Salmon.

"Cucumber Dante Feta?" Max said.

"_K'yaloh D'argesh F'ah!"_ said Mack Salmon.

"Kawaii Dorky Fish?" Max said.

"_K'yaloh D'argesh F'ah!"_ said Mack Salmon.

"Kooky Dooky Foo…ky?" Max said.

Salmon's eye twitched. "…You know, I'm starting to get the feeling you're getting it wrong on purpose."

Max gasped. "No! Whatever gave you that idea!"

"Yes, it's not like we'd have any reason to stall for time or anything. I mean, it isn't as if we're expecting anyone to come by out of the blue and rescue us," Sam said.

"Like the tribe of sea simians I'm the high priest of," Max said.

"Or the Rubber Pants Commandoes," Sam said.

"Or our car!" Max said.

They waited expectantly. Nothing happened. "I _said_, it isn't as if we're expecting anyone to come out of the blue and rescue us," Sam repeated.

"That's because they're not," Salmon said.

Sam frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"Yeah, someone always comes out of the blue to rescue us in the nick of time if we can't do it ourselves," Max said.

The evil fish chuckled. "I know your proclivity for being saved by utterly contrived coincidences all too well by now. So I decided to take certain…_precautions_."

Sam frowned. "I don't like the sound of that…"

Salmon grinned. "My Deep Ones found the band of sea simians you brought here from our world just in case you might need some aquatic backup. They were…_delicious._" The Deep Ones grinned fiendishly and licked their lips. Those that had lips, anyway.

"What? No fair! I was gonna eat them eventually!" Max complained.

"I wouldn't have recommended it, little buddy, there's no telling where they've been," Sam said.

"The Rubber Pants Commandoes I killed years ago, due to their thwarting my plans far too many times now," Salmon said.

"No! Not the Rubber Pants Commandoes!" Max gasped.

"Well, that explains why they haven't replied to any of our Christmas cards in a while," Sam said.

"And as for your car…once my friends found where it was parked, they punctured its tires, strapped a boot on the wheel, and stuffed panties down the tailpipe so that it couldn't come and save you," Salmon finished.

Sam gasped. "No!"

"Yes!" Salmon said gleefully. "And they tore up your favorite bumper sticker, too!"

"You monster! Lemme at him! Lemme at him!" Max shouted. The Deep Ones surrounding him pointed their weapons at him. "Er, or not."

"So you see, there really is no hope left for you, Freelance Police," Salmon said smugly. "Now…I think we've drawn out this game long enough, haven't we? Max, speak the words of power—the _real_ ones this time—or I'll have Lorne-"

"The friend for life!" the Deep Ones sang.

"-Read some of the yaoi fanfics he's written starring you and Sam," Salmon finished.

"Oh boy!" Lorne said eagerly.

"No! Not even _you_ could possibly be that evil!" Sam cried in disbelief as Max turned pale(r) in horror.

"Lorne?" Salmon asked.

"The friend for life!" the Deep Ones chorused.

"Yippee! Here's one I've been working on, guys! I'm sure you'll like it," Lorne said, reaching into a pocket of his diving suit and taking out several sheets of plastic-wrapped paper. "Ahem: 'The sun beat down on the city like a hammer; a relentless, hot, beating hammer hammering down like a big metaphor that was... hot, for some reason. It was equally hot in the office of Sam and Max, Freelance Police, both because the air conditioning was broken again but also because something steamy was about to go down.

"'Oh, Sam!' Max cried, looking upon his best friend and teammate and boyfriend with a look of pure lust in his beady black eyes. 'I can't keep my hands off you for a minute longer! Cover me in whipped cheese and lick my fur clean, you dirty, dirty dog!'

"'Okay, little buddy,' said Sam, his gorgeous bishounen-y fur ruffling in the breeze from the open window as he rose to his feet and started unbuttoning his shirt. 'Let me just get my clothes off and we can start making hot and tawdry sex right here on my desk.'

"'Max laughed coyishly. 'Oh Sam, I love it when you talk to me all sexy like that! Lean over and give us a kiss!'

"'Okay,' Sam said, bending down to plant a big wet one right on Max's-"

"MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOOOOOOOP!" Max screamed, tugging on his ears. "I CAN'T TAKE IT! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! I'LL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT, JUST MAKE! HIM! STOOOOOOP!"

Lorne pouted. "Aw, you don't like it?"

"Lorne-" Sam started.

"The friend for life!" the Deep Ones chorused.

"Max and I have survived a lot of terrifying things over the years," Sam whispered, a horrified look on his face. "We've traveled to the city of giant cockroaches on the dark side of the moon, where Max was disintegrated…ventured to the other dimension inside the freezer, where we were hunted by a living TV dinner…were tortured by a sentient colony of cosmic bacteria who giggled too much…had our souls sucked out and turned into zombies by a fruity vampire…went to the beginning of the universe and back…stared into the very pits of Hell…Max had his brain removed and stuck in a jar while I ran around the city like a hard-boiled detective from old noir movies…fended off an army of chubby clones of myself…gazed into the madness-inducing eyes of the elder gods…and babysat Max's children…but trust me when I say that none of that was even remotely as frightening as listening to you read a few paragraphs of your fanfiction." Lorne pouted. "Not to mention the events you described could never happen in a million years. Max is _married_, in case you didn't notice. I would have thought you of all people would know that, if you really are our 'biggest fan.'"

Lorne gasped. "What? Married? When did this happen?"

"Presumably when you were dead," Sam said.

"Oh," Lorne said. "Er…who to?"

"Darla Gugenheek," Sam said.

Lorne gawked. "Darla? The Geek? But isn't she a little…"

"She's done a _lot_ of growing up over the years," Sam said.

"Yeah, you can say that again," Max said dreamily. "…What were we talking about?"

"How if you didn't say the magic words, I'll have Lorne-" Salmon started.

"The friend for life!" the Deep Ones chorused.

"Continue reading his _scintillating_ story," Salmon finished.

"Oh. Right," Max said. He sighed. "I guess I have no choice, then. Sorry, Sam, but I'd rather let the world end than hear another sentence of that piece of trash!"

Sam nodded. "I hear you, little buddy. There are some things the Omniverse was not meant to hear, and that was one of them."

"Oh, come on, guys…" Lorne complained.

"Now, what were those words again? Oh, right," Max said. "_K'yaloh D'argesh-"_

It was at that moment that a Magikarp-shaped submarine smashed through the columns surrounding the courtyard, causing the buildings they were supporting to come tumbling to the ground, looking much more palatable in the process. Four insectoid robot legs sprouting from the sides carried it rapidly across the ground, and a pair of extendable multi-jointed arms ending in big red hands grew from either side of its mouth. As Sam and Max, Lorne, Salmon Mack, and the Deep Ones (except for the ones still in a trance, chanting the words of power) turned around in surprise to see the bizarre vehicle marching towards them, Wabbaku sighed in relief. "It's about time they got here…I didn't think I could keep up my spell for much longer!"

"It's understandable that they took so long. I mean, this place is really confusing and all," Gardenia said reasonably.

"What-what is this?" Salmon cried angrily.

"Wahahahaha!" Jessie cackled.

"We'll just take this!" James said, one of the robot arms shooting out and grabbing Max, pulling him out of the midst of the Deep Ones.

"Wheeeee!" Max cheered.

"No! We need him!" Salmon shouted in alarm as the Leviathan carving started to dim.

"Hey, what about me?" Sam asked.

"Oh, all right…" James said. The other robot arm snagged Sam and pulled him from the grasp of the startled Deep Ones.

"That's better, thanks," Sam said.

"It's been a long time since we were conveniently rescued by a giant robot, hasn't it Sam?" Max asked.

"It certainly has, little buddy, but I think this is the first time it was a giant robot _fish_," Sam said.

"Nooooo! They're trying to take Sam and Max!" Lorne wailed.

"Who is responsible for this?" Salmon demanded.

Jessie snickered. "Listen, is that a voice I hear?"

"It's speaking to me loud and clear," James said.

"On the current!" Jessie said.

"Past the depths!" James said.

"In your-"Mickey started, only for the submarine to start shaking violently as something slammed into the side, nearly knocking them over. "Waaaaahhhh!"

"Hey, what gives? We were in the middle of reciting our motto!" Jessie said angrily.

"I don't care! Kill them!" Salmon roared at the dozen or so Deep Ones who were already surrounding the submarine, pounding on the hull with their fists and weapons and trying to tear off the robotic limbs.

"Aaaaahhhh! Somebody help us!" the Rockets screamed as the oceanic monstrosities made dents in the shell and started cracking the portholes.

"Well, this has to be the fourth most disappointing rescue we've ever had," Max complained as some Deep Ones tried to pry him out of the hand clutching him.

"Oh well, no big deal," Sam said casually as the Deep Ones tugged at the hand holding him. "I'm sure something else will turn up. It usually does."

The other Rockets did not share their certainty. "We have to do something!" Gardenia cried. "Should I attack them?"

Wabbaku shook his head. "No, it would just draw attention to us. And besides, the water density combined with their thick hides would keep your needles from doing any damage to them. Hmm…let me see if I have anything I can use…" He started rummaging through his medicine bag.

Some of the Deep Ones managed to wrench off the legs on the left side of the submarine, causing the whole thing to topple over. "Waaaaaahhhh!" the Rockets wailed as the sub crashed hard to the ground, knocking them out of their seats and into the wall. "Uhhh…"

"Is everybody okay?" James asked weakly.

"Chiiii…" Chimecho moaned.

"Well, that was unpleasant…" Jessie said. A huge portion of the hull was pushed inward by a blow from the Deep Ones outside, nearly crushing her head. She screamed in terror.

"And it's not going to get anymore pleasant anytime soon, either!" Buzz cried in alarm.

Mickey groaned. "Ohhh, my aching head…and why do I hear…voices?" It was then he realized that he wasn't wearing his spirit hat. The impact had knocked it off. His eyes widened in horror. "Oh no…" He quickly reached for the hat…

But it was too late. Without the magical protection of the hat, the chaotic magic of the city started reacting with his demonic energies. A sudden surge of pain shot through his gut, and he doubled over in pain, screaming as his stomach convulsed agonizingly and the words of the Deep Ones outside rang through his head as loudly as if they were shouting them into his ear.

_K'yaloh D'argesh F'ah! K'yaloh D'argesh F'ah! K'yaloh D'argesh F'ah!_

"No…noooo…" he moaned, clutching his head. "Make it stop…make it stop!"

"Mickey? What's happening?" James cried in alarm.

Buzz gasped. "He's not wearing his hat! Without it, there's nothing stopping him from finishing his transformation into a demon!"

Jessie groaned. "And Wabbaku thought it was a brilliant idea to stay behind rather than coming back with us to whip up the antidote…nice going, shaman!"

"Don't worry, Mickey, let me just get your hat and-" James started, reaching for the hat, only for another slam from the Deep Ones outside to knock him off-balance and send the hat skidding across the floor and under a seat. "Oh no! Mickey, hang on, just give me a few more seconds! Don't give in to the darkness!"

_K'yaloh D'argesh F'ah! K'yaloh D'argesh F'ah! K'yaloh D'argesh F'ah!_

"I'm…I'm trying, Jimmy," Mickey gasped as his flesh started crawling and beads of acidic sweat dripped from his fanged pores. "But…dere's something…something wrong…something _inside _of…"

_K'yaloh D'argesh F'ah! K'yaloh D'argesh F'ah! K'yaloh D'argesh F'ah!_

"Don't give up! I'm almost there!" James cried, stretching his arm as far as he could under the seat to reach the hat. "Almost got it…just a little more…." The submarine shook again, and he banged his head into the seat. "Ow! Can someone give me a hand here, please?"

"How? Our limbs are too short!" Jessie said, wiggling her little legs in dismay.

"Chiiiii…" Chimecho chimed, looking at James uneasily.

_K'yaloh D'argesh F'ah! K'yaloh D'argesh F'ah! K'yaloh D'argesh F'ah!_

"No…no…I don't wanna be a demon! I wanna be a Meowth again, having fun with my friends and helping out Uncle Giovanni!" cried in desperation, trying to drown out the voices and the _thing_ stirring inside of him.

But it was to no avail. The voices grew stronger…as did the changes inside of him.

_K'yaloh D'argesh F'ah! K'yaloh D'argesh F'ah! K'yaloh D'argesh F'ah!_

Mickey gasped and squeezed his eyes shut, gritting his teeth in pain. "No…no…no…"

"Aha! I've got it!" James said, triumphantly raising the hat into the air. "Now, I just need to put this on you and-"

"It's too late," Mickey rasped, his whole body trembling. "Jimmy, Jess, everyone…I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

James frowned and started walking over. "No Mickey, don't say that! Just let me put this on your head and-"

Mickey's eyes opened, and James and everyone else screamed, because the thing staring back at them was not the Meowth they knew and loved/tolerated. "Sorry," the demon said in a voice that was not Mickey's but something else entirely…something _familiar_. "But Mickey isn't here anymore." He backhanded James with such strength the Mime Jr. flew back the entire length of the sub, knocking Jessie and Buzz aside as he slammed into the wall hard enough to dent it. The demon rose, every inch of its skin squirming and wriggling revoltingly, howled so terrifyingly that everyone in the submarine voided their bowels, and smashed through the hull as easily as if it were wet tissue paper, causing hundreds of gallons of water to come pouring into the Magikarp-shaped vessel as red lights flashed and warning klaxons blared.

"AAAAAAHHH! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" Jessie, James, and Buzz screamed, too terrified (and pinned by the water pressure) to remember the magical helmets Wabbaku had made for them to breathe underwater.

Someone else kept a cool head, however. "Not on my watch!" said…Chimecho?

As the other Rockets stared in disbelief, Chimecho shimmered and, before their eyes, became a Ditto, who promptly transformed into a Snorlax that waded through the rapidly-rising water, the current and pressure no match for his immense bulk, and used his body to plug the hole in the hull, stopping the flooding and leaving the water level filling about two-fifths of the submarine, uncomfortable but not unmanageable. "There. That should hold us for now."

Everyone stared at him in disbelief. "…Am I getting the bends, or did James's Chimecho just talk and turn into a Snorlax that saved us all?" Jessie cried in disbelief.

"I saw it too, Miss Jessie…is this a side effect of Mickey's full transformation into a demon?" Buzz wondered.

"Chimecho? What's going on here?" James cried. "Since when could you talk or turn into a Snorlax? I didn't know you could do that! Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

The Snorlax sighed. "I was hoping I'd never have to reveal this, but…James, I'm not your Chimecho. I'm a Team Rocket special operative named Mondo whom Giovanni sent to keep an eye on you and make sure you didn't get into too much trouble. I switched places with your Chimecho before you left for Sinnorre and have feigned stupidity ever since so that you wouldn't notice any difference."

"Oh," James said. "Wow…but then where's the _real_ Chimecho?"

"On vacation," Mondo said.

James huffed. "And he didn't invite me? How rude!" They sweatdropped.

Jessie frowned. "Should I be ecstatic that the Boss cares enough about us to send a special agent to make sure we'd be all right, or insulted that he thought so little of us he believed we'd _need_ a special agent to make sure we'd be all right?"

"Personally, I'm just gratified that we're all still alive right now," Buzz said. "Thank you very much, Agent Mondo."

"You're welcome," Mondo said.

"Wait a minute!" James cried. "If you were supposed to keep us out of trouble, then why have we gotten into nothing _but_ trouble? And why couldn't you have changed into something useful all those other times when a shapeshifter might have come in handy?"

"I was unwilling to blow my cover, and most of those other times you were either able to work things out without my help or the situation was so complicated that there was nothing I could do about it," Mondo said. "My training never covered how to deal with evil witches or demonic possession. Plugging up a hole in a submarine, on the other hand, is right up my alley."

"Ah," James said, not looking entirely mollified. He gasped, recent events attracting his attention once more. "That's right, Mickey! We have to stop him!"

"James…I'm not sure that _is_ Mickey anymore," Jessie said uneasily.

Mondo grimaced. "The Boss isn't going to be too happy when he hears that…"

"I refuse to believe that!" James said stubbornly. "And even if it's true…then we still need to stop him before he unleashes some great evil upon the world or something! Engines go, full speed ahead!"

"Uh, James? Mickey _was_ the engine," Jessie pointed out.

"…Oh. Right." The Mime Jr. sighed. "That means I have to start pedaling, don't I?"

"Well, our legs are too short," Buzz said, wiggling his limbs.

"And I can't move from this spot," Mondo said, wiggling to get a little more comfortable in the hole he was plugging up. "So yeah, it's all up to you…"

James sighed. "All right, I'll start pedaling…" Reluctantly, he started treading water towards the back of the submarine.

"At least the Deep Ones aren't bothering us anymore," Buzz said.

Jessie frowned, noticing for the first time how quiet it had become. "Huh…I wonder where they went?"

All they had to do was look out the window and they would have learned the answer quickly enough: Mickey, or rather, the thing he had become, was tearing the Deep Ones apart, their strength and mass and eldritch magics no match for the raw demonic power surging through his body as he fought his way towards the circle in the center of the plaza. "Stop him! Don't let him into the circle! If he gets there, it might summon Leviathan, but who knows what else could happen?" Salmon shouted in alarm.

"Ooh, I wanna see, I wanna see!" Max said eagerly.

"Yes, I can imagine the light show will be spectacular," Sam agreed.

"Don't worry, Mr. Salmon, _I'll_ stop him!" Lorne said, heroically lunging at the demon. The demon caught him easily, ripped in half, and shoved his body parts into some of the mouths adorning its form, swallowing him whole.

"Yaaaayyyy!" Sam and Max cheered.

"Oh, crap! I've got to get out of here!" Salmon cried in alarm as the demon finished off the last of the active Deep Ones and continued towards the circle, which was still surrounded by a ring of chanting monsters oblivious to everything around them. "Don't think this is the end, Sam and Max! We will meet again!" the fish cried, swimming out of his tank and vanishing into the ruins, leaving his false body and chair behind.

"Do you think we will, Sam?" Max asked.

"I'm sure we'll run into him again sooner or later. We usually do," Sam said.

The demon took another step forward…and found his way blocked by Gardenia and Wabbaku. "Stop!" Gardenia cried, aiming her needles at him.

"You shall not pass, demon!" the shaman shouted.

The demon stared at them for a moment. Then it laughed uproariously and jumped over their heads, landing in the middle of the circle with a ground-shaking thud. "…You know, we could probably have handled that a little better," Gardenia said after a moment.

"Yes," Wabbaku said miserably. "Now we're all going to die."

The instant the demon landed in the circle, the Leviathan carving lit up with new power, arcs of red electricity crackling between it and the demon. The fiend laughed and spread its arms, drinking in the power all around it with glee. The chanting Deep Ones began swaying in place, also reacting to the energy spike. The ground started shaking ominously. All over the city, buildings crumbled and toppled into each other, creating a domino effect that leveled huge sections of Hyperbeamoria (and consequently, made it look a whole lot nicer) as the seaquake worsened. The giant Leviathan carving surrounding the city ignited, purple physics-defying flames bursting to life on the lines making up the serpent and encircling the sunken ruins in a ring of fire. Lightning cracked down all over the place, and waterspouts started swirling all over the place, devastating even more of the city. The water above Hyperbeamoria condensed and darkened, creating a swirling cloud of blackness over the ruins upon which another serpent made of fire appeared, mirroring the one outlined on the ground below. The darkness in the middle of the serpentine ring throbbed, and what looked like a giant spiky demonic heart the size of a small building emerged from it, descending to hover over the ruins.

"Waaaahhh! We're all gonna die!" Jessie and James screamed in terror.

"Awww mon, this _really_ wasn't in my job description!" Mondo moaned.

"Ooh, neat," Max said.

"I told you the effects would be spectacular," Sam said.

"Wabbaku…what…what is that?" Gardenia asked.

"It is the end for us…" Wabbaku whispered. "Leviathan is about to be reborn!"

"What? Isn't there anything we can do?" the Cacnea cried.

Wabbaku shook his head bleakly. "It is too late. My power is not enough to prevent the summoning, not at this stage." He hesitated. "But perhaps…"

"Yes?" she asked hopefully.

"I can't stop Leviathan from being released, but I can shield us from the devastation that will be caused by its awakening. Come on! We must get back to the submarine!" the Wobbuffet said, waddling towards the fallen Magikarp as quickly as he could. Gardenia obediently followed him.

The demon looked up at the giant heart, its many eyes glittering with anticipation. "The moment of awakening is at hand…soon, _both_ of us will be free from our prisons, and we may burn this world to ashes…" He threw back his head and shouted, "Leviathan, terror of the ancient world! Hear the words of power and be reborn! _K'yaloh D'argesh F'ah!"_

The Deep Ones surrounding the demon started screaming as their bodies began glowing, then transformed into bolts of energy that shot into the sky and were absorbed into the giant heart. "Uh oh. That doesn't look good, Sam," Max commented.

"I concur, little buddy," Sam observed as his hands started glowing. "I don't think any good can come of this…"

"Max, never say 'concur' again, I always confuse it with 'conquer,'" Max said.

"Aaah! What's happening to us?" Jessie cried as she and the other Rockets in the sub started glowing as well.

"Normally I'd be happy as a Clamperl to be glowing, but not like this!" James squealed.

"I wasn't trained for this, either," Mondo complained.

"Wabbaku, what's happening?" Gardenia asked as sparkles started rising off her spines.

"Leviathan is trying to consume our souls to revive itself. Don't worry, I can protect us, and everyone else," Wabbaku assured her as they reached the submarine. "Stay close to me!" Gardenia, not needing any excuse to do so, quickly huddled up against him. He touched the submarine and concentrated. "Spirits of earth, sea, and sky…protect us from this evil!" Energy swirled around him, and suddenly a dome-shaped shield formed around the submarine, causing everyone inside to stop glowing.

Gardenia sighed in relief when she saw that they were safe. "Praise the spirits…"

"Indeed," Wabbaku said with a smile.

"Awww, I stopped glowing!" Max complained.

"It's probably for the best, little buddy. Bad things tend to happen when you glow," Sam said. "It's usually a sign that you've become horribly irradiated or something like that."

"What's bad about that?" Max asked.

"You make everyone around you sick and start losing hair and teeth?" Sam said.

"…I fail to see the problem," Max said.

"I'm really getting tired of all this magic stuff," Jessie complained wearily when she saw that she and the others were no longer glowing.

"So am I. I _really_ wish they'd covered this stuff back in training," Mondo said.

"Well, at least we're still alive," James said.

"But for how long?" Buzz asked anxiously.

The demon was annoyed but not particularly concerned that the Rockets and Sam and Max had managed to avoid being absorbed by the giant heart. "No matter…I have enough souls now to awaken the beast! Leviathan, come forth! The time of awakening is at hand! Rise up and destroy all that stands before you!"

The giant heart began to beat, its pace slow at first but rapidly picking up speed. The monstrous organ was enveloped in a dark purple glow, and then transformed into a pillar of light which blasted downwards into the ruins, causing Hyperbeamorea to tremble once more. The earth shook. The buildings crumbled. The ground tore open as something buried deep beneath the city arose from its long slumber, the ancient bonds holding it in place broken irrevocably and allowing it freedom once again. They looked in awe at the being that towered above them as it soared overhead, the demon filled with glee, the Rockets with dread, and Sam and Max with vague interest. They beheld…Leviathan!

Leviathan was aptly named, for its serpentine body was five kilometers long and two hundred meters in diameter. Its body was composed not of skin or scales or armor, but of bodies. Thousands of corpses had been fused together from the waist down, their upper bodies plastered back against each other like scales, covering each other with their skin and bones and blood, dead eyes staring blankly at the world around them, and—eerily enough—they still held some semblance of life, moaning and flailing their mutilated hands slowly, grasping at the water and at each other, clawing one another's bodies and drawing more blood, which either spilled into the water or sank into the crevices between the bodies and into Leviathan's innards. Its long tail, like that of any serpent, tapered and narrowed at the end, terminating in a mass of spikes thornier than the tail weapon of a Stegosaurus formed from numerous rib cages lashed together by tendons and viscera, still dripping fresh gore from their sharp curved tips. Thick spikes emerged from various random spots on its body, in many cases piercing right through the myriad dead forms which composed its skin, goring them on their tips and adding to their suffering. The spikes were made of numerous bones fused together, with skulls peering out at spots on the spike's surface, eyeballs still in their sockets. Two thirds of the way up its body grew a pair of long, lanky arms made from the severed arms of at least a hundred children fused together and ending in powerful wrists with overlarge knuckles and claws. The knuckles were adorned with the skulls of over a dozen babies, worn like rings, and the claws, like the spikes, were formed from numerous bones fused together, their ends broken and jagged and no doubt unclean. Leviathan's face was gruesome and vaguely draconic, formed of a great deal of muscle tissue fused together, throbbing a raw red. Its gaping jaws contained thousands and thousands of teeth of all shapes and sizes, taken from countless species and clustered together in such a grotesque display of cavities and decay that any dentist would weep from despair looking upon such a mouth. A tongue made from numerous livers and intestines wrapped together and bound by tendons drooled acid and blood and licked its cracked, scabrous lips, cutting itself repeatedly on its mishmash of unhealthy teeth and mending itself moments later. It had two gaping holes for nostrils, with little black tendrils that ended in snapping mouths lashing in and out with every monstrous breath. A pair of long, curved crystal horns grew out from the back of the head, tipped with an array of spikes. Its eyes were the only things that were not obscene and hideous; a pair of small yellow points set in deep, overlarge sockets.

Inside the sub, Mondo threw up, covering James. "Sorry," he said in apology.

"It is even more awful than I had ever imagined…" Wabbaku whispered in horror.

"Eh, we've seen worse," Sam said, unimpressed.

The demon laughed malevolently. "At last! At last! Leviathan is free! And now…" The crawling on its skin all converged on its stomach, which started to bulge outwards. "So am I!" The demon thrusted its pelvis forwards…

And its gut ruptured, all of its bones and muscles and organs and other innards spilled out in a great flood, landing in a massive pile of gore and blood on the ground while the demon's body, now nothing more than a mass of empty skin, drifted to the ground like a deflated balloon. The heap of body parts throbbed and twitched and shrank in on itself, skin growing around it to create a new form…

A familiar form. A pale white body resembling the Holy Mother Mew. A red nose like a clown's. Purple Zubat wings growing from its back. Long thin ears. An antenna ending in a red ball growing from the top of its head. Put these together and what did you get?

"I'm back, baby!" the demon of games cackled gleefully. "Mewgle is back in town!"

…

Elsewhere…

The Nihilators walked briskly down the halls of the fortress, forming a ring around the prisoner they were escorting to their leader, the sinister Oblivion's Shadow. If Gardevoir, the newly crowned 'Queen of the Vampires,' was worried or afraid of what lay ahead for her, she did not show it, much to her captors' annoyance. She was also able to keep up with their pace easily enough despite how briskly they were walking and the silver chains binding her, so if any of the Nihilators hoped she might trip up and give them an excuse to prod her with their silver-tipped weapons, they were sadly disappointed. The halls were clear as they headed for the elevators leading to upper levels of the fortress, which was yet another disappointment, because they enjoyed watching slaves and lower-ranked members of the organization run in terror from them. In short, they weren't having as much fun on this assignment as they had hoped, and were growing rather irritable.

This was, of course, exactly as the Teacher had planned.

He had also planned for the next obstacle that faced the Nihilators when they reached the elevator banks. One of them, a Torterra, reached over and pushed the button to summon the elevator. Nothing happened. He frowned and pushed it again several times as if that would call it any faster, just like everyone else does when they're waiting for an elevator, no matter what the universe. "Come on, where is it?"

"Sorry sirs, this elevator is out of order," a Magnemite repairmon said, floating over.

"What? What do you mean it's out of order?" the Torterra demanded.

"It says so right on the doors. 'Out of order.' See?" the Magnemite said, indicating a sign hanging on the elevator doors. The Torterra flushed in embarrassment and his companions snickered. Gardevoir smiled faintly.

"Well, _why_ is it out of order?" the Torterra demanded to save face. "It was working fine when we came down here just a little while ago!"

"Power surge. Tripped the circuit breakers. It's gonna take some time for us to repair it," the Magnemite said. "Unfortunately, most of the other elevators have been damaged as well…" He gestured at the other elevators, nearly all of which also had 'out of order' signs on them. "But you can still use the freight elevator. It's big enough for all of you, and it'll take you where you're going. It's on a separate circuit, so it wasn't affected."

"Fine. We'll take that, then," the Torterra growled.

The Magnemite led them over to the freight elevator, opening it with a jolt of electricity and floating to the side as the Nihilators filed in. "Have a nice day!" he said cheerfully, blinking once…which Gardevoir knew was a wink. She nodded slightly, thanking this member of the resistance for his part in the maneuver they were about to pull off.

"Up yours!" an Exeggutor growled as the doors slid shut and they started rising up the shaft towards their destination.

As they did so, rather dull elevator music started playing from a speakerphone set in the control panel, grating at their ears…one pair of ears in particular. "Gah, I frigging hate this song," a particularly unjolly Ludicolo snarled, pressing the button next to the speaker to try to switch tracks. It had no effect, other than to make the annoying music play louder. "Argh! You stupid piece of…" He started pounding the speaker angrily.

"Hey, watch it," a Solrock said in alarm as the elevator shook slightly. "If you break that, you might get us stuck in here!"

"Maybe, but at least I won't have this tune stuck in my head!" the Ludicolo growled, hitting the speaker harder and harder and causing the control panel to start sparking. Understandably worried, the Torterra and a Tropius grabbed the Ludicolo and tried to drag him away before he could do some serious damage. "Hey, what do you think you're doing?" he shouted. "Leggo of me!"

"Not until you calm down!" the Tropius said.

"Calm down? I'm a Shadow Pokémon, I don't _do_ calm!" the Ludicolo yelled.

As the other Nihilators watched the fracas in bemusement, their attention was briefly taken off of their prisoner…which was exactly why the rebels had made sure that song would be playing in the elevator in the first place, knowing from personnel files that the Ludicolo was extremely aggravated by it and that using it on him would create a distraction for just long enough to succeed in their plan. While all eyes were on the struggling Ludicolo, Kevin the Kecleon, who had been clinging to the ceiling in camouflage, hung down on his tail so that he was dangling just behind Gardevoir's head, a special scent suppressant chemical circulating through his body to keep any of the sharper-nosed Nihilators from smelling him. That didn't stop Gardevoir from detecting him by his pulse (and through their network), but considering that she was a vampire it was unsurprising she would be able to sense something like that.

She made no movement to indicate that she knew Kevin was there, not wanting to remind the guards they weren't supposed to be taking their eyes off her. She also made no movement when the Kecleon withdrew a syringe from his mouth and pierced the skin behind her right ears Compared to some of the 'tests' Bellum and Tarantulas had put her through, it was barely more than a pinprick. Once the syringe had finished filling itself with vampire blood, Kevin quickly withdrew it and stuck it back in his mouth, the tiny almost invisible entry wound already healing itself. His task complete, the Kecleon withdrew back to the ceiling. The whole procedure took no more than ten seconds.

_Nice job,_ she said to him over the network, impressed.

_No problem,_ Kevin replied. _I told you that you could count on me!_

_Good job, both of you,_ the Teacher congratulated them. _And now that our diversion is no longer needed, let us put an end to it before it causes any…difficulties, shall we?_

The elevator music instantly switched to a more upbeat salsa tune. The Ludicolo relaxed. "Ah, much better!" The other Nihilators sweatdropped at how easily he had calmed down, after putting up such a fuss just moments ago.

A few minutes later, the elevator reached its destination. The doors slid open and the Nihilators hustled Gardevoir out. "I hope you enjoyed the exercise," the Exeggutor sneered as they guided her down the hallways. "Because once Lord Shadow has you, I doubt you'll ever leave his quarters again. Not _alive_, anyway."

"Uh, she's undead. So doesn't that mean she could technically leave his quarters as is?" the Solrock asked.

"…Oh, shut up," the Exeggutor growled, smacking the Solrock. "Nobody likes a smartass, smartass."

_I'm in the ducts,_ Kevin said over the network, having slipped out of the roof of the elevator and into a ventilation shaft when the coast was clear. _Lovrina, I'm heading your way, as we planned._

_Awesome! Soon, I shall join the legions of the night! Muhahahaha!_ The Skitty cackled.

_Er, right,_ Kevin said.

_We will be happy to add you to our ranks,_ the Hitmonchan said.

_Awww, thanks!_ Lovrina said.

_Mistress, are you holding up all right?_ The Doduo asked.

_For now, yes,_ Gardevoir said. _I'm just not sure about whatever's happening next…_

_Don't worry,_ the Hitmonchan said. _Remember, all of us are with you in spirit!_

_Oh, I know that,_ Gardevoir said with a sigh. _I'd just rather you be here in person, that's all. Kind of a bit more useful, don't you think?_

_Well…I suppose…_ the Hitmonchan admitted.

_Now that we have a sample of your blood, we may be able to have someone with you in person soon enough,_ the Teacher said. _Our plans for revolution are now that much closer to completion…all we need now is a little more patience, and then we will have everything we need to destroy those who are oppressing us._

_Well, I'm good at waiting, so I guess I can be patient for a little while longer,_ Gardevoir said. _Just not _too_ much longer…I worry about what lies ahead._

_As do we all,_ the Teacher said sympathetically. _As do we all._

And so, bound in chains, the vampire queen continued towards her uncertain future…into the lair of her captor, Oblivion's Shadow.

…

And that is that! Not a bad job, don't you think?

I know, I know, there wasn't really much fighting this chapter, but I'll make up for it in the next one. Promise.

So, many interesting developments happened this chapter, and many converging plot threads are bearing fruition. How much of what happened here did you expect? How much caught you by surprise? And what do you think will happen next?

You'll have to wait until 47 to find out if any of your guesses are accurate. Hope I can get it finished before school starts…until then, read and enjoy!


	47. Zero Isle: The Admiral's Revenge

And now, after all the build-up from the last chapter, it's time to follow through on the truly excellent battles! I owe you all after dragging things out for so long. I hope these fights are just the sort of thing you were hoping for. We've almost reached the end of the arc, and it makes sense to go out with a bang, right?

Not that we're through yet…but the end is in sight, mark my words! So let's get to it, shall we? This chapter is extra-long to celebrate (or mourn) the end of summer, so I apologize if you can't read it all in one sitting. I hope you can enjoy it nevertheless.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

In the treasure grotto of the dread pirate Barbedo, two epic battles were taking place simultaneously as Team Aurabolt (minus two members) fought the legendary Captain and his pet sea monster, Polly, with their lives and leadership of the pirate crew at stake. The spectators Fat Pete and Molly watched the fighting from behind a mound of treasure in awe, impressed by the sorts of moves the living Pokémon were pulling off. "Wow…the Pokémon of the new world sure have learned a trick or two, haven't they, Molly?" the human skeleton asked his wife.

The Chatot nodded. "Aye, now I'm starting to feel a wee bit out of shape…I'm going to need to start training again if I want to catch up to these guys!"

And what was the Rescue Team doing that was so impressive? Well, let's take a look at the example of Polly, shall we? Polly was a giant Crawdaunt from some of the darkest and most dangerous reaches of the ocean loyal only to Barbedo who'd become even more fierce, savage, and deadly upon his undeath. The Captain had been the only person ever capable of defeating the giant crustacean in battle—save of course for the massive fleet that had managed to finally put him down during the rampage he had went on when Barbedo and the rest of the crew were killed-with nobody else ever managing to last more than five minutes against him.

The group comprised of Tiny, Sasha, Dawn, and Captain Briney were still alive and relatively unharmed, and they'd been fighting Polly for _six minutes_.

"Have some of this, you overgrown prawn!" Briney snarled, telekinetically lifting a treasure mound from nearby and flinging its contents at Polly, each item in the mound of riches turned into a glittering high-speed projectile moving fast enough to break concrete, the world's second-most expensive barrage. (The title for most expensive naturally went to the Ten-Trillion-Poké Missile built by Lord Horatio Nimsy-Porpington De-Mented XXIII, which had been made of solid gold with jewels and baubles encrusted on every square inch of its surface and had used million-Poke' bills in its gas tank rather than rocket fuel. Why did he build such a missile? Who knew, the guy was completely frigging bonkers.) Polly raised his big left claw, which had served him as an effective shield for ages, as the numerous harpoons and hooks embedded in its surface indicated. Most of the coins and gemstones ricocheted off the pincer, but some buried themselves in the big red shell, raising its net worth significantly.

"Leo would probably cry to see you use money like that," Tiny commented.

"There's a reason there's a technique called Pay Day, you know," Briney said.

"You can't learn that move," Sasha pointed out.

"I know, that's what I call 'improvising,'" Briney said.

Polly bellowed angrily and swung his claw down in a massive Crabhammer attack. Briney caught the pincer in his hands, grunting as the force behind Polly's attack nearly crushed him into the ground. Using his formidable strength (and a little boost from Magnet Rise) he pushed back with all his might, metal fangs grinding and body creaking as he fought back against the giant undead Crawdaunt, who was more than a little astonished that the Metang had been able to halt its attack in its tracks. "Don't just stand there, you fools!" Briney snapped to his teammates, who were staring at him in amazement. "Cut his arm off!"

They understood at once. Dawn fired an Ice Beam at Polly's limb, freezing it solid. Then she grabbed Tiny, tossed him into the air, flipped over to do a handstand, and lashed out with her powerful legs as the Larvitar fell back towards her, kicking him towards Polly. Channeling his power like Ash had taught him to, Tiny drew back his arm, fist burning with Aura, and punched the frozen arm at the shoulder joint with all his strength and the force from Dawn's kick, cracking the ice as well as the limb encased with it. Polly hissed in pain. As Tiny pulled himself up and started sliding down the top of the frozen limb, Sasha pounced at Dawn, who used her legs as a springboard again to propel the Absol into the air. Sasha's claws began to glitter and she twirled through the air as she used Swords Dance to power herself up, and there was a flash as she struck the cracked shoulder with Slash and rebounded, flipping through the air and landing on all fours on top of a treasure mound. There was a pause, and then the wounded joint shattered, causing Polly to bellow in agony as his arm fell off. No juices or fluids or anything else flowed from the hole in his armor, after all, all of Polly's meaty bits and organs had rotted away ages ago, leaving him as hollow as a Shedinja…and just as dangerous. (Not more than Nuken, though. That guy was _scary._)

Briney sighed in relief as the pressure eased. "Ahhh, that's much better." As Tiny hopped off the pincer above him and landed on a cushioning pile of gold, Briney flipped the severed arm over to grab the other end, and then swung it at Polly with all his might. Polly's remaining claw shot out, his intact pincer interlocking with the one on the arm Briney was holding and stopping it in mid-swing. Briney cursed angrily and pushed harder, trying to break the claw lock.

While Briney had the Crawdaunt distracted with their impromptu arm wrestling, Dawn Bounced into the air, soaring towards Polly's face. The giant crustacean's glowing red eyes noticed her and narrowed angrily. With a shriek, Polly opened his mouth and fired a Water Pulse at the ninja. Dawn's form blurred as she split into seven, who fired Ice Beams at the Pulse, freezing it into a solid sphere of ice. The Bunearies backflipped through the air and shot down at the sphere, kicking it in the same spot and knocking it back towards Polly's face. It shattered, causing the Crawdaunt to flinch in pain…

Loosening its grip and allowing Briney to wrench the arm he was holding free, winding it back before swinging it forward and hitting Polly so hard that the front of his exoskeleton cracked and he was actually knocked out of the water, flying a few feet through the air before splashing back into the water, the resulting tidal wave big enough to drench all of them had Briney not diverted it with his Psychic powers. "Nice hit," Tiny complimented.

"Aye, I think that was a home run!" Briney joked.

"Briney, look out!" Sasha cried in alarm.

Briney frowned. "Eh? What's wrong-" He paused, noticing that the arm he was still holding had doubled back on itself and the pincer was shooting towards him. "Ah. That's new." He quickly let go of the end of the arm and shot his hands out to catch the serrated insides of the pincer as it tried to close on him with Crunch. "Somebody give me a little help here!" he snarled as he pushed back against the crushing claws, trying not to get flattened between them.

Dawn fired her Ice Beam, freezing the arm again. Sasha and Tiny flung Razor Winds and Hidden Powers, cracking and damaging the limb in a dozen places and causing it to lose its hold on the Metang. Breaking free, Briney readjusted his grip on the arm, spun in place, and flung it out over the pool. Another pincer surged out of the water and snatched the arm out of the air. The pool seethed as the irate Polly rose back out of the depths and stuck the severed arm back into his shoulder, the damaged exoskeleton mending itself and fusing the limb in place. The Crawdaunt opened its maw and bellowed, shaking the cavern and causing rocks to fall from the ceiling.

Briney sighed. "How many of you saw this coming?" Everyone raised their hands. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

"It looks as if some of Leo's 'genre-savvy' is rubbing off on us," Sasha commented.

"Is that bad?" Tiny asked. Dawn shrugged.

Polly opened his claws and fired energy attacks at them, shooting a Dark Pulse from one pincer and a Hyper Beam from the other. Briney quickly used Protect to shield them, grinding his teeth as he tried to repel the attacks. "Wait a minute, he can't use both at once, can he?" Tiny asked incredulously.

"Apparently, he can," Sasha said.

"I'm really getting tired of seafood…" Briney snarled as Polly kept blasting.

"Don't worry," Sasha said. "Soon he may have something else to think about."

"What's that supposed to-" Briney started, when suddenly a Future Sight energy ball appeared behind Polly. "Ah."

_But he's a Dark type. That won't have any effect on him,_ Dawn said.

Sasha smiled. "Who said I was aiming for him?" The energy ball flew through the air…and struck the ceiling above Polly, causing part of it to cave in on top of him.

"Ohhh," Tiny said.

_Well done,_ Dawn said.

The crustacean screeched in alarm, his beams cutting off as he tried to protect himself, using Harden to fortify his shell. In doing so, of course, he gave the heroes the chance to counterattack. "Good job, lass," Briney said as he relaxed and lowered his shield. "And I hope you don't mind if I take a page out of your own book and do some more 'improvising.'" His eyes glowed as he focused his psychokinetic abilities on Polly's left claw…or rather, on the weapons stuck in it. The Crawdaunt's body might have been Psychic-proof, but those spears certainly weren't!

Polly blinked in puzzlement as the spears and harpoons imbedded in its claw started glowing…and abruptly, something invisible _tugged_ on them, pulling on his arm and almost yanking him off-balance. As he splashed at the water to try and regain equilibrium, the same invisible force _pushed_…and the affected claw swung back, punching Polly in the face! The Crawdaunt cried in alarm, recoiling and grabbing his wildly flailing arm to try and get it back under control as it tried to keep smacking him. "Hahaha! Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!" Briney taunted.

"And while that's keeping him occupied…Dawn, Tiny, do you think you're willing to pull off another combo like you did before?" Sasha asked.

Tiny nodded. "Sure, but…can Dawn fling me that far?"

_I can now,_ Dawn said as she finished using her Ice beam to freeze some of the water, creating an ice ramp pointed at the thrashing Crawdaunt. She lay on her back at the base of the ramp, legs pointing towards its peak. _Get on._

Tiny quickly did so. "Captain, you're going to catch me on the rebound, right?"

"Of course. But I thought you could swim? Somehow?" Briney asked.

"Just because I _can_ doesn't mean I like it," Tiny said. "Plus, I'd rather share as little water with that thing as possible."

"Too true, too true. All right, just a moment…" Briney concentrated on the metal rods he had been controlling. Yanking on them harder, he managed to pull Polly's left arm out of his right pincer's grip, then pushed back, slamming the left arm over the right and pinning both to the Crawdaunt's chest. As Polly struggled frantically, Briney gritted his teeth and said, "I don't know how much longer I can hold him…so do it! NOW!"

"Are you ready, Tiny?" Sasha asked.

"I guess soooOOOOOOOOOO!" the Larvitar cried as Dawn kicked at him without warning, sending him sliding up and off the end of the ramp, hurtling through the air towards Polly. The Crawdaunt's red eyes widened when he saw the green-gray missile shooting towards him, so opened his mouth and fired an Aqua Pulse. Tiny's face paled as the giant water sphere hurtled at him. "Uh-oh."

A light blue Ice Beam shot past him and struck the Aqua Pulse, freezing it solid. "Tiny, hit it!" Sasha shouted from the shore.

"R-right!" Tiny yelled back, regaining his confidence. Gritting his teeth, he summoned the power within his heart, causing his fist to start blazing with the blur fires of Aura. With a great cry, he punched the frozen Aqua Pulse, causing it to shatter into a million pieces, the glittering shards of diamond dust swirling around him and refracting the light from the _Golden Dream_ to make him nearly impossible to look at. Blinded by the dazzle, Polly squeezed his eyes shut in pain…

And bellowed as Tiny slammed into his forehead, blue flames exploding outwards from the point of impact. As the Larvitar was flung back from the blast, the big dingy yellow star on Polly's forehead cracked in two as the Crawdaunt was shoved backwards, slamming into the back wall and shaking the cave. He slouched, jaw hanging open as his eyes rolled about in his head. "I think that's done it," Briney said, eyes glowing as he levitated Tiny safely back to shore. "And now I'll finish him off!"

After he set Tiny on the ground, the Metang folded his arms against his sides and shot off across the water at high speeds, the waves tearing apart in his wake. He flew past the giant Crawdaunt's slackened defenses and into his mouth. Polly blinked as he felt something go down his throat, wondering what he had just eaten…

And then Briney Exploded, the blast so powerful that it literally tore Polly in two. "Whoa," Tiny said in awe as the bisected halves of the giant Crawdaunt vanished beneath the waves.

_The Captain certainly knows how to show off,_ Dawn commented.

"Though it sort of makes the rest of us look inferior in comparison…" Sasha said with a frown.

"Can't be helped," Briney said as he floated back over, metal skin sizzling and steam wafting off his hull. "It's pretty hard to catch up when you've got a bruiser like me on the team. Now that that's taken care of, let's go help Ash and Pikachu-"

The pool behind him exploded as Polly's ragged upper body half clawed its way to the surface, giant pincers thrashing the water into foam as they struggled to keep their massive owner above sea level without his tail. The Crawdaunt bellowed with fury and started swimming towards them, the water churning as his pincers tore its surface apart and dragged the giant crustacean towards the shore and the Pokemon waiting on it. Briney sighed. "All right, who saw that coming?" Everyone raised their hands.

"I'm really getting tired of fighting the undead," Sasha said wearily.

"Maybe we should try using Potions?" Tiny suggested. "Or Root Beer?"

_I don't think we have enough of those to take down something that big…_ Dawn said. _Especially not the root beer._

"Its times like this you wish Leo were here…he'd probably have some Bunearybrained scheme to defeat Polly by now…" Briney muttered.

"Was that a crack against Dawn?" Sasha asked.

Briney blinked. "Eh? What do you…oh. No, that wasn't…look, it doesn't matter, just brace yourselves, all right? Things are about to get messy…"

And speaking of messy, Ash and Pikachu were currently duking it out against Barbedo, whom they had yet to land a blow on. "Ash, were all humans this fast?" Pikachu asked incredulously as the pirate lord neatly hopped out of the way of the samurai's Quick Attack and swung his giant sword down in an overhand chop that might have flattened him if he hadn't backflipped in time, the weapon shattering the ground it struck and sending bits of rock and gold flying everywhere.

"Not that I can recall," Ash said. "_I _wasn't, anyway." He formed an Aura Sphere and hurled it at Barbedo….Only to gawk in disbelief as the pirate _caught_ it. In one hand. And crushed it with ease. "They couldn't do _that_, either…"

Barbedo laughed. "Humans were made of sterner stuff back in my day! Well, that and the fact that I'm a two-thousand year old cursed skeleton who's coated his bones in gold to strengthen them. And to keep me from getting hurt by curative items. Why in blazes do those things burn us so? Ye'd think the undead would _want_ to be healed…"

"…You coated yourself in gold? Didn't that hurt?" Ash asked incredulously.

"As well as make you a big lightning rod during thunderstorms?" Pikachu asked

"Yeah, but it was worth it!" Barbedo said. Pikachu hit him with a Thunder attack, causing him to jerk and convulse wildly. "Yep," he coughed. "Still worth it!"

Without warning, he whirled about and hurled his sword at Ash, the giant blade spinning through the air towards him. The Lucario formed a Bone Rush staff and deflected the sword away, causing it to arc above and behind him before landing point-down in a treasure chest nearby. Reforming his staff into an energy sword, he charged towards the pirate with ExtremeSpeed. At the same time, Pikachu, cheeks and sword crackling with electricity, dashed towards Barbedo from behind. The pirate turned sideways and hopped backwards, reaching out to grab both blades in his bare hands…

And growled in surprise as electricity and blue Aura surged through his body, singing his clothes and blasting him backwards into a treasure heap, coins and gold-framed portraits and some marble busts sliding down to fall over him. Snarling and cursing furiously, he clawed his way out…

And received a fist to the face from Ash, the punch so powerful it actually knocked his head off, sending the skull flying across the cavern! "Uh, whoops," Ash said. "I didn't mean to hit him that hard…"

"Too bad it didn't have any effect!" Pikachu cried in alarm as the headless body rose up and punched Ash in the gut, causing him to double over in pain. It then wrapped both its golden claws around his neck and started strangling him. Ash responded by planting his feet against the pirate's rib cage and firing a point-blank Force Palm at the same time as he kicked off, tearing himself free from the evil captain's bony clutches and knocking Barbedo's body back into Pikachu, who thrust his sword through his back, the blade tearing through his cape and coming out of the front of his rib cage. The skeleton convulsed in silent agony as electricity coursed through its metal-coated form, rattling and twitching and looking like it would fall apart at any moment. "A little more of this, and he'll shake himself apart!" the samurai said with a grin.

"Then let me give you a hand," Ash said, drawing back a burning paw…then stiffened, lunging forward and snatching Barbedo's giant sword by the handle as it flew past before it could smash into Pikachu. He gasped in surprise and nearly dropped the weapon, it was incredibly heavy…and he was used to lifting very heavy things!

"Whoa! Where did that come from?" Pikachu cried in alarm.

"Ha! I can lift that thing with my bare teeth! I have more strength in my pinky fingerbone then you lily-livered Pokemon have in your entire bodies!" Barbedo's skull boasted from atop a nearby treasure heap that towered above its neighbors. "Let me show you!" He hopped up and down furiously, dislodging some of the riches he was resting upon and causing the treasure mound to start collapsing, a tremendous mass of gold and jewels and valuable pieces of art sliding down its slopes and building up speed and power as it grew into a great avalanche of wealth that threatened to bury Ash and Pikachu.

"Ack! Run!" Pikachu yelled, pulling his sword out of the headless skeleton and making a break for it.

"This guy has way too much money for his own good! Somebody should tell him most people keep their assets online these days!" Ash commented as he dashed after Pikachu with ExtremeSpeed, quickly catching up to his brother, scooping him off the ground, and tucking him under an arm as the golden wave smashed down behind them and kept surging after them, burying the dazed skeleton in its wake. Ash ran up the slopes of another very tall treasure mound and paused at the top of it, watching as the gold and treasures from the collapsed heap flowed past all around them, covering the floor and turning their refuge into one of several islands rising up from a sea of gold.

"I highly doubt that defeated him. Where is he?" Pikachu asked as he hopped out of Ash's arms.

Ash closed his eyes and concentrated. "Hmm…I think he's…" He froze as he felt the ground shift ever so slightly under his feet. "Move!" He shouted, leaping out of the way just as Barbedo's skeleton erupted from the mass of coins he had been standing on, giant sword swinging widely through the air as it tried to knock them off the top of the island.

Pikachu scrambled backwards from the skeleton then abruptly jumped into the air, yelping in pain as Barbedo's skull bit onto his tail. "Mphmphmphmph! Mphmph mphpmphmphmph!" Barbedo taunted incomprehensibly through the fur he'd sunk his teeth into. He found himself losing his grip, however, when Pikachu's tail turned to metal as he used Iron Tail, flicking his rear appendage upward and flinging the skull into the air. "Ow! Hey!" Barbedo complained as his skull landed nearby. "You could give a guy some warning before-" He was cut off when Pikachu drove his sword through his eye. "DAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHH!"

"Die, pirate scum!" Pikachu snarled, channeling power through his blade and into the animated skull.

"Nooo! It can't end like this!" Barbedo howled in agony. "…Which is why it won't!" He whistled. His body, which was currently occupied trying to press Ash into the ground using its sword—a relatively easy feat, since the surface they were standing on wasn't solid enough for Ash to get the footing he needed to push back without sinking further into the pile of coins—paused, then raised its left leg, pointing the golden spike at its end at Pikachu. With a pneumatic hiss, the spike abruptly launched off the leg like a shining missile, hurtling through the air towards the surprised rodent, a cable trailing out behind it to keep it connected to the socket it had been fired from. Pikachu quickly hopped out of the way, and the spike struck his sword, dislodging it from Barbedo's eye socket and causing it to flip end over end through the air, falling down the side of the heap and vanishing into the sea of treasure below.

"Crap," Pikachu swore. "Ash, hang on! I'll be right back!" He slid down the side of the treasure heap after his weapon.

Ash sweatdropped. "Oh, great, chase after a sword rather than help your partner…"

"I'm going after my sword _so_ I can help my partner!" Pikachu called back.

"What happened to swords not being as important as the mon holding them?" Ash demanded angrily.

"Nothing, but Dad'll kill me if I lose the family sword in a giant pile of treasure!" Pikachu replied.

"Couldn't you have at least zapped him off of me?" Ash yelled.

"Then you would have gotten zapped too!" Pikachu called back.

"I can take it!" Ash shouted.

"When you're ankle-deep in a mountain of very conductible metal which would absorb and amplify the electric charge enough to possibly kill you?" Pikachu asked.

"…Er. Well…maybe not…" Ash said uncertainly.

Reaching the bottom of the mountain, Pikachu paused and looked around him. There were swords everywhere. While none of them were crackling with electricity, due to the way the light from the _Golden Dream_ refracted off of them and everything nearby they might as well have been, making it almost impossible to tell any of them apart. He groaned. "This is gonna take a while."

The cable attached to the spike started winding itself back into the leg. Barbedo's skull hopped up and bit into the cable as it snaked past him, pulling him along with it. Once he reached his body, he let go of the cable, bounced off of his knee, and landed right on his shoulders…albeit facing the wrong way. "D'ar, I hate when that happens," he grumbled, letting go of his sword with one hand to swivel his head back in place…

Which was just the opportunity Ash needed. Barbedo's strength and the loose flooring had caused him to sink into the gold up to his ankles, but his feet had touched upon a buried treasure chest, and now that the pirate was only pressing down on him with one hand, he had enough leverage to surge upwards, knocking the sword out of Barbedo's hand and causing the pirate to stagger back in alarm. Ash caught the giant sword as it fell out of the sky and swung it at Barbedo with all his might…

Only for Barbedo to catch the blade between his palms. "Ye'll have to try better than that, bucko," he laughed at the surprised look on Ash's face before swiveling rapidly, flinging Ash off the other end of the sword and sending him flying across the cavern. Barbedo grinned…and then frowned as Ash crashed into the Murkrow's nest of the _Golden Dream,_ the impact causing the ship to tilt slightly as it let out a low moan. "Hey, get off of me ship!" he shouted, reversing his grip on his sword and bounding down the treasure heap in the direction of his radiant vessel.

Up in the Murkrow's nest, Ash groaned in pain and staggered to his feet, rubbing his head. "Okay, that's gonna leave a mark…huh?" He blinked and looked out in amazement at the cavern, astonished by how much he could see…and just how much there _was_ to see. "Wow…this is quite a view…hmm?" Something arced through the air and landed at his feet. It was a small black sphere. Ash stared at it for a moment in puzzlement…

And then his eyes widened in alarm as realization struck him. He grabbed the sphere and quickly threw it as far away from him as he could, and just in time too, because it exploded seconds later. "There's more where that came from!" Barbedo, who was standing on the top of the stern, called up to Ash as he pulled a handful of bombs off of his ammunition belts. "Are ye going to come down quietly, or do I have to blast ye out?"

"Do I get a third option?" Ash called.

"No!" Barbedo shouted, pulling the pins out of the bombs with his teeth, tossing them into the air, and smacking them with his sword as they fell back towards them, launching them up in the air and right into Ash's hideout.

Rather than try to remove all of them, knowing he probably didn't have enough time to do so, Ash opted instead to jump out the Murkrow's nest before the bombs exploded, the blast sending him tumbling head-over-heels towards the ground. Extending his Metal Claws, he tried to dig into the sails to slow his descent…and was surprised when his claws slid right off of them. They weren't made of fabric at all, but some kind of strange energy field that just _looked_ like cloth from a distance, and offered no purchase for his claws. _Score one for the Pokelanteans,_ Ash thought sardonically as he kept falling. _Then again, if they were so clever, why'd they wind up wiped out and their King stuck in a stone ball in a tomb nobody remembered?_

He managed to arrest his distance by grabbing onto the edge of the spar the course sail was hanging from, wincing in pain and feeling like his arm was going to be wrenched from his shoulder by the abrupt stop. As he tried to pull himself up, hindpaws scrambling futilely at the surface of the sail for some leverage, Barbedo fired his leg spike at the spar, the prosthetic wrapping itself around the end and providing an anchor for him to reel himself up on, flipping over in the air and landing on top of the spar, causing the metal length to shake and make Ash lose the grip his second paw had managed to grab, leaving him dangling one-handed. "A nice chase, lad," Barbedo said as he reattached his leg and stalked over, the spar vibrating with each step. "But it ends here!" He loomed over Ash, grinned, and lifted his spike to stomp it on Ash's paw…

And then Ash flung the Aura Sphere he had been forming in his free hand upward. Startled, Barbedo reflexively leaned back out of the way…and nearly fell off due to having one leg in the air. He frantically dropped his sword and windmilled his arms, trying to regain his balance, but it was to no avail as Ash hoisted himself upwards, flipping in the air and landing square on the pirate's chest with an Aura-powered kick, knocking him off the spar. "Daaaaaarggggghhh!" Barbedo howled as they tumbled towards the deck, Ash punching him for all he was worth. The pirate angrily retaliated with as many blows as he could, and kept punching even after he hit the ground, his undead body absorbing the brunt of the impact.

They rolled around, punching and kicking and kneeing and elbowing and even biting at each other. Blood smeared Barbedo's golden bones, blood from Ash's knuckles and mouth and wherever the pirate's teeth had managed to break the skin. Barbedo, finally having enough after Ash raked Metal Claws across his chest, managed to headbutt him hard enough to stun the Lucario, allowing him to grab him and throw him into the nearby mast. As Ash gasped and slid down the pole, Barbedo staggered back to his feet and grabbed his sword, which was lying on the deck nearby. "You've put up a good fight, lad…but like I said before, it ends now!"

Ash smirked and held up a paw, in which he clutched the pins to several of Barbedo's explosives. "That it will."

Barbedo's eyes widened in astonishment, and he glanced down at his chest to see that a few of his bombs were, indeed, primed and ready to detonate. Surprisingly, he burst into laughter. "Darharharharhargh! Lad, ye may have what it takes to be a pirate after all!" And then he exploded, disintegrating his clothing and sending his bones and coins from his beard flying all over the place. His hat, surprisingly unscathed from the blast, floated down and landed neatly on the floor nearby.

Ash panted and took out some berries from his knapsack to revitalize himself. "I certainly hope not," he murmured as his energy returned. "I'm trying to be an Aura Guardian, not a criminal!" He started applying Potion to his wounds.

"Ash! Are you all right!" Pikachu cried as he ran up the gangplank onto the deck, Thunder Fang crackling in his paw.

"What took you so long?" Ash asked sourly.

"You'd be surprised by how many magical katanas this guy has," Pikachu said wryly. "So, did you beat him?"

Ash nodded. "Yeah, it certainly looks that way. Unless…" He paused, catching movement out of the corner of his eye. He frowned and looked at a golden pelvis lying nearby. "Did that just move?"

Pikachu frowned. "I hope not. Because if it did…" Something clattered. He turned to see a shin bone rolling across the deck. It was followed by some toes, knuckles, and ribs. Pikachu sighed. "Yep. It's not over yet."

The golden bones littering the floor quivered and started bouncing about the deck, converging on the hat lying on the ground. Ash and Pikachu tried to grab or attack the bones, but they kept dancing out of the way of their techniques. Not even Pikachu's electric shocks did any good, as the bones used the energy from the blasts to propel themselves closer together. The bones surrounded the hat and started reassembling themselves, in short order regaining their original form as the dread Captain Barbedo…sans his clothes. "Well, that was unpleasant," Barbedo said as he snatched his hat off the ground and doffed it once more. "Do ye have any idea how much those clothes cost? Not that I paid for them, mind ye, but they were still very expensive! And I'll bet the tailor who made them isn't even around anymore! Oh well, I suppose I'll make a coat out of your hide after I skin ye…and make a seat cover out of you," he said to Pikachu.

"A seat cover?" Pikachu cried in disbelief.

"What? It's not like there's much else I can do with yer fur! Yer kind of small…" Barbedo commented. He took up his sword and swished it through the air a few times experimentally. "It's been a long time since I've fought in the nude, but I suppose I might as well seeing as you lot don't seem to be making do with clothes either. Other than your scarves, which are quite nice, actually."

"Oh, come on! Do we have to keep fighting? Didn't my blowing you to pieces count as a win?" Ash protested.

"Nope," Barbedo said. "I'm still capable of fighting, which means we keep on going until one of us can't do it anymore. That'll be the two of ye, naturally, since I'm immortal and invincible and can't get tired due to being the walking dead."

"Can't _anything_ kill you?" Pikachu groaned as he and Ash prepared themselves for battle.

Barbedo shrugged. "Not that I know of. And if I did, do ye really think I'd tell ye? I must commend ye, though, ye've done better than anyone else has in a long time…with talents like yours, ye'll earn a high-ranking spot on me crew fer sure!"

"You'll have to kill us, first," Ash said.

"Ye say that like it'll be hard," Barbedo cackled. "So…are ye ready fer round two?"

"I guess we've got no choice…" Pikachu said, raising his sword.

"All right…let's do this!" Ash said.

"Sounds good to me! Graaaaahhhhh!" Barbedo shouted as he charged them.

"Raaaaaahhhhh!" they shouted back as they rushed to meet him.

They dashed across the deck, preparing to clash…

When Fat Pete ran between them. "Stop! Stop! STOOOOPPP!"

Everyone skidded to a halt only a few inches away from the skeleton. "Fat Pete? What are ye doing here? Can't ye see I'm in the middle of a fight?" Barbedo shouted angrily.

"Sorry to interrupt, Cap'n…but we've got trouble!" Molly squawked as a handful of other pirates, along with the rest of Team Aurabolt—including Leo and Lily!—climbed onboard the ship.

"Leo! Lily!" Ash said in relief. "You made it!"

"Yeah, sorry we took so long," Leo said apologetically.

"And, um, were you two able to patch things up?" Pikachu asked uneasily.

"More than that, Leo and I are now…um…what was the term again?" Lily asked.

"Boyfriend and girlfriend," Leo reminded her.

"Yes, that!" she said, kissing him on the cheek. He swooned. Tiny fidgeted, a little unused to public displays of affection. But he was a kid, what did you expect?

"Congratulations, both of you!" Ash said, wondering why a small part of his heart ached at seeing the happiness on the new couple's faces.

"It's about time they got together…but now's not the time to celebrate, because we've got big trouble!" Briney said.

"It had better be some really big trouble to interrupt my fight, or I'll make some of me own!" Barbedo growled.

"The biggest! Cap'n, a fleet of enemy ships has surrounded the island!" a Poliwrath announced.

"WHAAAAAT?" Barbedo shouted, enraged.

Ash and Pikachu gasped. "A fleet! Is it…" Ash started.

"The Nihilators? Most certainly," Lily said.

"The who now?" Barbedo asked.

"Remember how we said we needed your Star Badge? It's because a bunch of villains called the Nihilators want to use them to destroy the world," Pikachu said.

"We are trying to collect them all before they can," Sasha said. "But it looks as if they have caught up to us at last…"

Barbedo frowned. "Destroy the world? Well that just isn't right! If the world's destroyed, where are me and me mates going to go steal treasure from, or unwind after a nice raid?" The heroes sweatdropped.

"And it's not only ships they've got, Cap'n," a human skeleton said nervously. "But they've got sea monsters, dozens of 'em!"

"And their command ship looks like…it looks like Samiya, sir!" a Floatzel said.

Ash stiffened, that name bringing back memories. "Samiya?"

"That's the Temple of the Sea, isn't it?" Pikachu said in confusion. "What's it doing with the Nihilators?"

"I'd like to know the same thing…" Leo murmured.

"The Temple of the Sea? Then has Kyogre finally come to have her revenge on us?" Barbedo wondered.

_Yes and no_, Dawn said. _We fought Kyogre on our way to Zero Isle…_

"But she was being controlled by somebody else! We think it must've been the Nihilators!" Tiny said.

Barbedo's eyes widened in surprise. "These scurvy Houndours can control a god? Just how powerful are they?"

"You've been out of the game a long time, Captain," Briney said. "The standards for villainy have raised themselves quite a bit while you've been stewing on this island."

Barbedo snarled. "Is that so? Take me to these Nihilators, then…and we'll see who is worthy of being called the greatest scoundrel in all the seven seas!"

"I'll open a portal back to the beach, it'll get us there faster," Lily said, doing just that.

"Oh, an enchantress, eh? We could use someone like ye on me crew…" Barbedo said.

"She's taken," Leo said flatly.

"Not for long. Me fight with yer leaders is postponed, not forfeited," Barbedo said, starting towards the portal.

"Er, Cap'n, are ye sure ye don't want to put some clothes on first?" Fat Pete piped up.

"What're ye talking about? I'm wearing me hat! That's good enough, isn't it?" Barbedo asked, causing his crew to sweatdrop and fidget.

"Makes sense to me," Briney said. "A captain's not a captain without a hat."

Barbedo chuckled. "A Pokémon after me own heart! All right, let's see what all this fuss is about…" He walked into Lily's portal and disappeared. Everyone else followed after him one by one, and then the portal closed behind them, leaving the cavern empty…

Except for Polly, who was rather upset and distraught that he had been left behind.

…

The instant Barbedo walked out of the portal, the other pirates, who had been milling around anxiously with their eyes turned towards the water, burst into elated cheers at the sight of their long-absent leader. Barbedo grinned and drank in their accolades, waving at his ecstatic crew. "Darhar, they sure seem pleased to see me…perhaps I was gone a bit too long, if they missed me so much! Now, what's this about a…oh." He, along with everyone else, stared at what was sitting in the water off the coast.

"That's…a lot of ships," said a rather alarmed Pikachu.

"Even more than a typical episode of this anime I watch launches and teases about to its impressionable and overly fanciful and romantic viewers!" Leo said.

"A TV show launches ships?" Lily asked in confusion.

"Er, sort of…it's a different kind of ship…never mind," Leo said, embarrassed.

"Whoa," Tiny said.

"This could be a problem…" Briney murmured. Sasha nodded in agreement, sensing quite a lot of danger on the horizon…rather literally.

Several dozen massive warships with the emblem of the Nihilators painted on their sides were moored in the water surrounding Zero Isle, filling the near horizon as far as the eye could see in either direction, all of their cannons—and they had _many_ cannons—pointed at the island. Floating in front of the big ships were smaller vessels and submarines and the like, all of which were also pointing their weapons at the island. The water between the warships frothed as sea monsters, monstrous and overlarge specimens of marine Pokémon, girded themselves for the battle to come, saliva dripping from their massive jaws at the prospect of the feasting that would soon commence.

The biggest and most awe-inspiring of the vessels surrounding the island didn't look like a vessel or a sea monster at all but a literal fortress set on a ring-shaped platform floating on the sea, though the shadows extending underneath the water indicated there was more mass on the underside than was visible from the surface. The fortress looked almost incongruous at first compared to the rest of the black and gray metal warships surrounding it, a beautiful structure of white and blue marble or some other stone material, a delicate spire rising from the center of a great moat surrounded by a labyrinth of marble walkways and pillars and aqueducts, a spiral ramp with no visible supports impossibly winding its way up the exterior of the central tower without even touching it. The back half of the fortress was comprised of a large spiny purple barrier like some kind of coral reef that slanted down into the water and presumably continued under the sea. The whole structure was surrounded by a transparent, almost invisible bubble, no doubt a powerful shield of some sort. Somehow several colonnades were inexplicably imbedded in its sides so it almost looked like they were floating in thin air.

Despite the fortress's beauty, however, there was no denying that it was a construct of death. Turrets had been erected on the many walkways, the spines on the rear wall had been turned into cannons and missile emplacements, and guns had been mounted on the windows and spiral ramp of the central tower. A flag waved from the top of the spire with the symbol of the Nihilators on it.

"How can that thing be floating?" Sasha wondered in disbelief. "It's huge!"

"And made of stone, too, which generally doesn't do well in water," Briney said. "Take it from experience. I built one of the earlier _Peekos_ out of stone." Everyone stared at him. "What? I was stranded on a small island with nothing but rock to work with. Managed to keep it afloat with my Psychic powers long enough to get to a port. Sank right afterwards. Can't say I wasn't sorry to see it go…"

"It can float like that because it is Samiya," Pete said reverently.

Barbedo nodded. "Aye, the Temple of the Sea!"

Ash stiffened. "The Temple of the Sea?" Pikachu looked at him in alarm as his pupils shrank, memories flashing through his mind. Memories of an adventure long-forgotten…of a pirate not nearly as fearsome as Barbedo who needed a mecha-suit to use super strength…of a jerkass Pokemon Ranger who was 'helping' them in their quest…of a magnificent temple floating beneath the sea, carried by the ocean currents…of a deep and true love between one of his friends and the baby Pokemon she had hatched…and of himself flying around in…a yellow stream of water? The Abyss was that about? He blinked, snapping himself back to reality.

"Wow! It sure is big…" Tiny murmured.

"Temples usually are, from my understanding," Sasha said. "Not that I've been to many, granted. My lord Darkrai has a few, but I've never visited." She frowned. "Which, considering I'm his high priestess, may be a bad thing…"

"Samiya? But how could they possibly have conquered it?" Lily asked incredulously. "It's supposed to be one of the most well-guarded treasures in the entire ocean, constantly moving so that nobody can find it twice in the same place!"

"Not to mention that I recall Willy the Wailord distinctly telling us it was still vacant way back at the beginning of our journey," Pikachu said.

_Well, either it was claimed since then, or he was wrong,_ Dawn said.

"If the Nihilators possess the Sea Crown, why haven't used it to take over the world already? I thought it could control the world's oceans or something," Leo said.

"Oh, it's a gyp," Ash said, speaking from experience. "The Sea Crown's just a fancy generator that keeps the Temple of the Sea floating and cloaked underwater. It's not even a real crown, just a cake-shaped rock with lots of crystals sticking out of it. It doesn't have any real power other than keeping the place from falling apart…well, that and allowing people to fly around in golden streams of water." Everyone stared at him. "Seriously, it does. No idea what's up with that…"

The pirates slumped in disappointment upon hearing this. Barbedo frowned. "And ye would know this…how, exactly?"

"I've seen it in person," Ash said. "Saved it from another bunch of pirates. They weren't nearly as formidable as you, of course."

Barbedo scoffed. "Well, I should hope not! When was this?"

"A really long time ago. It's sort of a long story…" Ash said.

"One I must hear later. Hmm…I don't like this," Barbedo snarled. "The Sea Crown is supposed to be mine! We were repelled our first time before we could reach the Crown, but we always intended to make another go for it once we found the blasted thing again. And now you tell me that in the two thousand years since, not only has _another_ bunch of pirates come close to getting their grubby hands on it, but now some upstart group of doomsayers has managed to claim it? I won't stand for this! I am Barbedo, king of the pirates, and if anyone is to raze the Temple of the Sea and take the Sea Crown, it's me!"

"But, uh, Cap'n, he just said the thing's worthless," Pete pointed out.

"It's the principle of the thing, man! And besides…ye said there were crystals in it?" Barbedo asked Ash. "What kind?"

"Um…big, light-blue ones, maybe this long?" Ash said, spreading his arms apart. "Maybe three dozen of them in total."

Barbedo grinned. "That sounds like a prize worth taking to me! All right lads, here's what we're going to do! We're going to storm that there temple, kick these Nihilator youngsters' hineys, and steal the Sea Crown! Are ye with me?"

"Aye-aye, Cap'n!" the pirates cheered, their spirits and courage boosted tremendously by the presence of their leader.

"Uh, should we be allowing this?" Pikachu whispered to the others.

"Well, on the one hand, we'll be allowing the evilest pirate who ever lived to get his hands on a very valuable treasure that's been considered sacred to Water-types for thousands of years," Leo said. "On the other hand, it means we won't have to fend off that entire fleet by ourselves. Hmm…seems like a fair trade-off."

"But if he takes the Crown, won't the Temple be destroyed?" Pikachu protested.

"Well, it sort of already is, considering what the Nihilators have already done to it," Lily pointed out.

Sasha nodded in agreement. "You could say we would be granting it a merciful death. Only the cruelest of predators make their prey suffer for prolonged periods of time."

"…This is a _building_ we're talking about, not a meal," Pikachu pointed out.

Ash frowned, uncertain. He had several memories associated with the Temple now that he recalled his previous adventure there, most of them good, but… "Briney, what do you think?" he asked, having trouble making up his mind. There was no response. "Briney?"

The Metang was staring at the weaponized Temple, an unreadable look on his face. He rubbed his eyepatch. "My eye is hurting."

"I have some eyedrops for that," Leo said, rummaging in his shell.

"No, not that kind of hurt, lad," Briney said. "It's Peeko's eye. It's aching…telling me that the last of her killers is aboard that floating fortress."

They gasped. "It is?" Tiny cried.

Briney nodded. "Positive. I've only felt this ache a handful of times in the past…and every time I did, it meant I was near one of her murderers."

"You're certain he's on the temple, and not on one of the other ships?" Pikachu asked.

Briney nodded. "Positive. Peeko's never steered me wrong before, in life or in death…he's in that temple. And soon, so will I." He clenched his fists. "Today…my quest of vengeance will finally reach its end."

"I guess we'll be hitching a ride with Barbedo and his crew, then," Sasha said.

"Yeah, we can't let you go there by yourself, Captain!" Tiny said. "I mean, yeah, you can probably handle yourself just fine, but…we're a team, and we do everything together! For the most part, anyway."

Briney smiled gratefully. "Thanks, lad. I knew I could count on all of you."

"Do you think Barbedo'll mind letting us come along with him on his…absolutely beautiful ship?" Leo said dreamily as he remembered how magnificent the golden vessel had been. Lily frowned, wondering if the strange sensation she was experiencing was 'envy.' She didn't like it. She disliked the look on Leo's face as he thought about the _Golden Dream_ even more, though.

"I dunno…he said he doesn't take passengers," Pikachu said.

"Well, we have to get there somehow," Lily said. "But…I think I can portal us there. I believe it's within my range, and that shield doesn't look nearly as difficult to penetrate as the one that was surrounding the island."

"Ooh, is that so?" Molly, who had been eavesdropping, chirped happily. "Well, that'll save us some trouble, won't it?"

"Except we still need to take out the rest of that fleet, don't we?" Pete pointed out.

"Ah, yes. Then I suppose it would be a good thing for us to break out the old ship, wouldn't it?" Molly said wistfully. "Ah, that brings me back…"

"I thought you guys were retired from piracy," Ash said.

"Well, we are! Or…were, I guess," Pete said Mareepishly. "I mean, since ye haven't defeated Barbedo-"

"Yet," Briney said.

"Right, yet, he's still our captain, and so we're still his to command," Pete said.

"And besides, even if we _are_ retired, we can't just let creeps like these guys sail up and try to attack our island, now can we?" Molly said rather reasonably.

Sasha nodded in agreement. "There is nothing wrong with defending your territory."

"And that's precisely why we're going to sink all their ships, skewer and feast upon those pets of theirs, decapitate any prisoners we take and mount their heads on sticks all along the coastline as a warning to any who come after them as to what happens to those who mess with the property of Barbedo, and…eh? What's happening?" Barbedo asked in puzzlement as the bubble around the Temple flickered.

"Someone inside it is using it as a giant projector screen!" Leo said, his sunglasses telling him this…as did the image beginning to form on the surface of the bubble.

"Good," Sasha growled. "Maybe now we'll know who we're up against."

They found out a moment later. It certainly wasn't who they were expecting, either. The Pokémon projected onto the surface of the bubble, the image probably a few thousand times bigger than the actual Pokémon, was short and dark blue and white with stubby feet and club-like arms or flippers longer than its body with four finger-like growths sprouting from the end of each of them. A large blue crystalline sphere was embedded in its left flipper. A red gem with a yellow dot below it was embedded in its white and red-striped chest in the center of a marking resembling the lines on Kyogre's arm-like fins. It had a round head with a pair of long blue antenna. Its large eyes were sapphire blue and ringed with red and yellow, with two yellow dots of 'eyebrow' markings extending from the tops, a glowing blue sigil resembling the one on its chest—and, again, the marking on Kyogre's arm fins—placed on the forehead between them. Its lower jaw was white with two small spikes growing from its chin and a mouth full of tiny but sharp fangs. It looked surprisingly cute…but at the same time, rather unsettling.

"What in the Abyss is that?" said a befuddled Briney.

"I've seen many creatures in my voyages in the deep, but never one as weird-looking as that!" Barbedo said.

Leo frowned. "According to my scans, that's a Manaphy…with Kyogre DNA? Okay, that's weird…And that thing in its left arm is an artifact called the Blue Orb. It has the power to control Kyogre."

"Well, that explains why it looks so odd," Lily said. "The power of the Blue Orb must have twisted its body!"

"Does that sort of thing happen often when people use cursed objects on themselves?" Pikachu asked.

Leo and Lily nodded. "Oh yes, all the time," the witch said.

"You come to expect it, really," Leo said. "You have to wonder why they keep doing it when they should know by now what effect it'll have on them."

Ash gasped. "No! That…that can't be Manaphy!" He didn't understand. The Manaphy he remembered was a sweet and kind Pokémon who had been forced to part ways with his friend May, whom the little 'Prince of the Sea' had come to think of as his mother, to guard Samiya. He had been _nothing_ like the creature projected before them. What was Manaphy doing with the Nihilators? Or…he frowned. Was it even the same Manaphy? How many were there, anyway? Were there more than one? If so, than could this be a different one from the one he remembered? It had been a thousand years ago, after all, and while Manaphy was a legendary Pokemon, he wasn't sure how long it lived. He had seen one freshly hatched after all, and some of the stories he vaguely recalled hearing back then implied that others had existed before that one…but even if it _were_ a different Manaphy, why would it have thrown its lot in with evil and chosen to use its powers and birthright to try and take over and/or destroy the world? "I don't understand…" he whispered. "What's going on here?"

Things didn't get much clearer when the Manaphy began to speak in a high-pitched bubbly voice that most people would not associate with a supervillain, no matter how much it was amplified by the Temple's power. "Pirates of Zero Isle, I am Manaphy, Supreme Admiral of the Nihilators' Oceanic Division and ruler of all the world's seas!"

"What! How dare he call himself that? That's _my_ title!" Barbedo shouted angrily.

"Well, Cap'n, ye sort of forfeited the title what with being stuck here for two thousand years…" a pirate pointed out. Predictably, Barbedo knocked his skull off with his sword. "Should've kept me mouth shut…" the skull grumbled as his body walked over to pick it back up.

"According to my scouts, you are in possession of two objects I have a great deal of interest in: the blue Star Badge and the former human known as 'Ash,'" Manaphy continued. "You will relinquish them to me without argument…or I shall have my fleet and the army of sea monsters at my command level this island, and sink what remains to the bottom of the ocean!"

"He wants you? Why?" Tiny asked Ash in confusion.

"I…honestly have no idea," Ash confessed, equally puzzled. _Was_ this the same Manaphy he had met all those centuries ago? But if so, why was he evil now? And why did he want Ash as well as the Star Badge?

"Hmm…this is rather fishy…and not just because he's a Water-type who seems to be turning into one, either," Briney quipped.

"Kyogre's a whale, not a fish," Leo corrected. "There's a difference."

"There is? What?" Sasha asked.

"A whale is a mammal—sort of like you-and a fish is…well, a fish," Leo said.

Sasha frowned. "I saw Kyogre. She looks nothing like me."

"Lots of mammals look nothing like you," Leo countered.

"But most of the Pokémon you call 'mammals' have fur, don't they?" Sasha pointed out. "Whereas Kyogre has none."

"Actually, from what I've heard, she _does_ have hair in a place she'd rather not talk about…" Leo said.

"…Ah," Sasha said, not understanding in the slightest and deciding she would probably be better off that way.

"When you come to your senses and make the right decision, just hand Ash and the badge over to my children and we will leave you in peace," Manaphy continued as the waves lapping onto the beach started rising upwards and solidified into a pair of very small Pokémon that somewhat resembled Manaphy—or rather, what he used to look like—but not entirely. While they shared Manaphy's body structure, they had a single rudimentary foot spike rather than two feet, single blue circles extending from their eyes rather than two yellow ones, and a flotation sac growing from the top of their heads with long single ribbon-like antenna rather than pairs. "You have five minutes to comply before I start firing. I'm sure you'll choose what's best for everyone in the long run." His image flickered and faded away.

Dawn snorted. _Right, like we're really going to fall for that._

"Yeah, he'll probably blow us all up anyway. Typical bad guy move," Leo said.

"What are those things?" said a mystified Tiny, referring to the Pokemon that had materialized from the water.

"Those are Phione, children of Manaphy. And they have the ability to turn into water…hrrrm. Does this mean they were following us all the way from Treasure Town without us knowing it? Lousy little…" Briney snarled angrily.

_So he has Phione in on this too? I don't understand…none of this makes any sense at all! This isn't how Manaphy are supposed to behave!_ Ash thought, rather upset.

"Cap'n, what're we going to do? That's an awful lot of guns and monsters he's got pointing at us…" an Azumarill said.

"There's only one thing we can do…" Barbedo said, turning towards Team Aurabolt. The heroes stiffened, fearing they were about to be betrayed…something they probably should have seen coming. Barbedo _was_ a pirate, after all. The captain raised his sword…and spun around, hurling it at the Phione. They yelped and hopped back as the blade struck the water where they had been bobbing, splashing all over the place. "Take the fight to that rotten spoiled bastard of a prince!" Barbedo wrenched his sword out of the water and shook it threateningly at the startled Phione. "Ye can go back to yer daddy and tell him that Barbedo never gives in to demands! He'd better put on his diapers, because he'll be shitting himself soon enough once we send his fleet to the bottom of the ocean, butcher his pets, and come knocking on his front door with yer skulls! Go on, get out of here ye little bastards, before I lose my patience and make tea out of ye! Yer father's got plenty more of ye where ye came from, he won't miss a couple like yerselves!" Trembling in fear, the Phione melted back into the water and disappeared. Barbedo laughed as his crew cheered. "Ah, that felt good. It's been too long since I've scared the piss out of a child."

"...I don't understand," said the stunned Pikachu. "Why didn't you sell us out? I mean, it would certainly fit your character."

"That it would," Barbedo agreed as he walked back to them. "But there are three things ye weren't counting on!" He raised a finger. "First of all, he came to _my_ island with a fleet and had the gall to threaten me! Doesn't that whelp have any idea how many fleets I've destroyed? Doesn't he know how many shipwrecks litter the seafloor around this island? Anyone who comes here talking big and thinking they can push me around soon have another thing coming!" He raised another finger. "Second of all, he's taken a title and a prize that was always destined to be mine…so I really have no choice but to kill him and take the Sea Crown, and title as ruler of the seas, back from him!" He raised a third finger. "Third and lastly…he wants to take a member of me crew from me, and no matter how bad that crewman is, or lazy, or recalcitrant, or useless…a shipmate's a shipmate, and ye never abandon 'im to anyone, be it sea monsters or the authorities or even the gods! Isn't that right, maties?"

"Aye, aye, Cap'n!" the pirates all shouted enthusiastically.

"While many horrible things have been said about Cap'n Barbedo—most of them true," Fat Pete said.

"Let it never be said that he ever turns his back on a shipmate in need!" Molly said.

Ash blinked in surprise. "What? But…I'm not part of your crew!"

"Of course ye are!" Barbedo said, smacking Ash so hard on the back he almost fell over. "Well…sort of, minus a few formalities and technicalities. Ye're as good _as_ crew for the time being, anyway."

"…I don't follow," Ash said, picking himself back up.

"It's simple enough, really," Barbedo said. "Ye all challenged me to a fight, remember? If ye lost, I'd kill ye and make ye part of me crew. If ye won, ye'd be the new captain and control the crew. Either way, no matter what the outcome, ye'd become one of us!"

"One of us! One of us! One of us!" the other pirates chanted.

Ash's eyes widened. "Whoa…"

"But…but we didn't finish the fight!" Pikachu protested.

"Yeah, but ye _agreed_ to it…so all we have to do is finish the fight, and ye're officially part of the crew!" Barbedo said. "Which means that until then, ye're _un_officially crew, and thus under me protection!"

"…That…doesn't make any sense…" Pikachu said in confusion.

"Oh, just go with it," Briney said. "I'm not exactly happy about becoming a pirate, but if it means he's on our side and will help us storm that fortress…and kill that last bastard…then I'm all for it. Besides, he won't be our 'captain' for very long…"

"Then…that means you'll help us fight those guys?" Ash asked hopefully.

Barbedo laughed. "Of course we will! A good crew sticks together and fights each other's enemies. No pirate is alone so long as he's got a shipmate watching his back…albeit, it may be just to stick a knife in it, but either way he's not alone!"

"So…that means we're all pirates now?" Pikachu asked in alarm.

Dawn sighed. _I suppose it's a good thing my mother is dead…she would have killed me if I became a pirate._

"Why?" Tiny asked.

_Because we ninjas see pirates as beneath us,_ she said. _To become one is dishonorable._

"Um…not dishonorable enough to kill yourself, right?" Pikachu asked anxiously.

_Not unless that is your wish, Master,_ Dawn said.

"It's not. So don't," he said sternly.

She bowed her head. _As you command, Master._

"We're pirates now? Yattaaaaa! This is so cool! Another one of my lifelong dreams is finally fulfilled!" Leo babbled excitedly, retracting his head and one arm and popping back out wearing a pirate hat, an eyepatch, and waving a plastic cutlass in the air. "Yaaaargh! I be Leonardo the Mad Blogger, give me all yer video games or I'll flame yer website and act like a total troll!" Lily giggled at his antics.

"You mean you will block roads and demand travelers answer riddles?" Sasha asked.

"...Er. No. Different kind of troll," Leo said. He rummaged in his shell and took out another pirate hat. "Here Lily, I've got one for you too, if you want to be my comely pirate wench!"

Lily blinked. "I have no idea what that means, but it sounds fun…but do I have to wear that? I like my current hat…"

"Oh. Well…you can wear this skull necklace instead," Leo said, offering her a necklace made of beads with small skulls dangling from it.

"Oh, thank you, Leo!" Lily said in delight, putting on the necklace. "Um…these aren't _real_ skulls, aren't they?"

"Nah, they're plastic," he assured her. She sighed in relief.

"Can I wear that hat?" Tiny asked.

"Hmm? Oh, sure!" Leo put the hat on Tiny. "Hmm…but there's something missing…" He took out an eyepatch and a plastic hook and put them on the Larvitar. "There! Now you look like a perfect pirate…and utterly adorable, to boot!"

"Awww," the other pirates cooed, gushing over how cute Tiny looked in hat and eyepatch and hook with the monocle he was still wearing.

"Say 'arrrrrgh!'" Barbedo prompted.

"Argh?" said the confused Tiny.

"No, no, say it like you _mean_ it!" Barbedo said.

Tiny tried again. "Argh!"

Barbedo nodded, a pleased look on his face. "A little better…now, stretch out the 'r,' roll it on your tongue! Like this: 'arrrrgh!'"

"Arrrrgh!" Tiny exclaimed.

"Again, with more force! Arrrrrrrgh!" Barbedo shouted.

"Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!" Tiny cried.

"ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!" Barbedo roared.

"!" Tiny howled as loud as he could, knocking some of the other pirates back and causing birds in nearby trees to take flight.

"Wow! Quite a set of lungs on this 'un!" Barbedo said.

"Tell us about it…" Sasha deadpanned.

"Awwww, isn't that just precious? Petey, I want a baby!" Molly declared.

Pete stared at her strangely. "But…Molly, I really don't think that's possible for people like us."

"I don't care!" she squawked, pecking on his skull. "Use yer own bones to build it if ye have to, but I want a baby!"

"Ow! Ow! Cut it out! We'll talk about it later, okay?" Pete cried, trying to fend her off.

"…Am I the _only_ person here who seems to remember there's a fleet of warships and sea monsters about to attack us at any minute?" Pikachu yelled in exasperation.

"Oh relax; we've got plenty of time! Don't you remember? Talking is a free-" Leo was cut off when part of the beach nearby exploded, causing them all to jump as sand and bits of rock sprayed all over the place. "Okay, I was wrong."

More explosions shook the beach as the warships fired their cannons in succession, tearing up trees, shattering rocks, disintegrating tiki idols and dance stages, and—to the absolute horror of the pirates—completely destroying their alcohol. "NO! OUR RUM!" a Gastly shrieked as the stack of barrels containing their liquor was vaporized in a flash of light and a great conflagration.

"THEY KILLED OUR RUM!" a human shouted, eyes flashing with berserker fury.

"KILL THEM! KILL THEM! KILL THEM!" the other pirates chanted, their claims of pacifism and centuries of peace forgotten as this atrocity awakened the bloodlust and thirst for violence buried deep within them.

"I'LL GUT THEM AND USE THEIR LIVERS FOR HATS!" Tiny howled, waving his hook in the air. The others stared at him in horror. He blinked and blushed. "Er, sorry. Got a little carried away…"

"We really need to talk about you and your alcohol addiction…" Ash muttered.

"It's not an addiction! I can quit anytime I want to!" Tiny said stubbornly.

"Then why don't you?" Lily asked.

"Because I don't want to," Tiny replied.

"Ah," she said. Ash facepalmed.

"Welp, makes sense to me," Briney said.

"Shouldn't we be doing something about the cannons shooting at us?" Sasha asked as explosions rocked the beach, a few lucky hits actually blasting some of the pirates to smithereens. They pulled themselves back together, granted, but were still smithereens.

"That's what _I_ said!" Pikachu cried in exasperation.

"All men and women and mons and womons and…anyone else who can report to the _Golden Dream!_" Barbedo bellowed, his booming voice drowning out the blasts of the enemy fire. "These scalawags have signed their death warrants! Let's send the lot of them to Davy Jones's locker!"

"Who's Davy Jones?" Lily asked.

"He's-" Briney started.

"No!" Pikachu shouted. "No more explanations! No more stories, no more arguments or debates or lengthy digressions about completely random subjects! _We don't have time for this!_ Let's get out of here before we get blown to Kingdom Come!"

As if to emphasize his point, a cannon shot impacted only feet away from them, knocking them off their feet and shattering Fat Pete in two. "Petey! No!" Molly cried in horror when she recovered her wits and Carvahna stopped swimming before her eyes.

"Ugh…I'm okay, Molly!" Pete said, pulling himself up, his spinal column dangling underneath him due to his legs having been blasted to pieces. "It's not as bad as it looks!"

"Yeah, it's just a flesh wound," Leo said.

_But he doesn't have flesh_, said a confused Dawn.

Leo sweatdropped. "Am I the only one who's seen Monty Seviper and the Holy Grail?"

"Yes," Briney said.

"Alas, poor Petey…he's only _half_ the man he once was, harhar! And not the most useful half, either!" Barbedo joked in rather bad taste.

Pete scowled in annoyance. "Yes, yes, very funny, kick a man when he don't have two legs to stand on!"

"Or a peg leg as nice as mine," Barbedo said, showing off his spike.

"Aye, or that," Pete agreed.

"Hey, how come your peg leg is so much fancier than ours?" another pirate with a peg leg complained.

"Because I'm the Captain, that's why!" Barbedo said, hitting him. "Now…Miss Lily, if ye would please open a portal back to me grotto? It'll get us there faster." Pete's legs wandered aimlessly past. "And will somebody get Petey his legs back?"

"Too bad they're just me land legs, we've been trapped so long on this island I've completely lost me sea legs!" Pete said as some of the other pirates shepherded his legs back to him, trying to keep them away from the missiles exploding all around them. "I wonder where I left them…I may never find them again!"

"Well ye can't have mine, I need 'em more than ye do!" another pirate said.

"Ye're not the one flopping about on the ground like a Magikarp out of water! Or a Magikarp in water, for that matter," Pete said. "Magikarp aren't very bright, are they?"

"No," Ash agreed. "Kind of reminds me of this Psyduck we know back home who can't swim to save his-" He paused when he saw how red Pikachu's face was and how much a vein on his forehead was throbbing. "But that's a story for another day; let's get out of here before one of those cannons hits us!"

"And then we can strike back in the _Golden Dream_," Barbedo said eagerly. "And show those scalawags what happens to those who incur the wrath of Barbedo!"

Lily quickly opened her portal, and the pirates hurried through, leaving the debris-strewn remains of the beach behind them. It didn't look like there would be anymore parties held at the Zero Isle tropical resort and beach club for a very long time…

…

In the command center of the militarized Temple of the Sea…

"Admiral, the targets have fled into some kind of a portal," Shelly reported to Manaphy.

"I can see that, you idiot!" Manaphy snapped. "Continue firing. I doubt they've gone very far. We'll find them even if we have to blow up this entire island to do that!" A tremendous explosion caused part of a nearby cliff face to cave in, leaving a gaping hole. "Yes, precisely like that!"

"But…Papa, we didn't fire that one," said one of the puzzled Phione monning the myriad consoles spread throughout the command center.

Manaphy blinked. "Huh? But then what caused that?"

He got his answer a moment later when the _Golden Dream_ flew out of the hole it had blasted through the cliff, its glowing golden hull becoming even brighter as the daylight touched upon it and made it as radiant as the sun. Manaphy and the rest of the Nihilators gawked in disbelief as the retrofitted Pokelantean battleship rose into the air, its sails glowing with power as they drank in the sun's rays, the fans on its sides humming and vibrating with energy, the sunburst of 'oars' on its stern slowly rotating in place like a big glittering windmill. Now that it was free from the water, the mystery of its missing mizzen-mast was revealed: it was growing from the bottom of the ship's keel! Though that just left another mystery: how could it possibly dock in shallow water with something that big sticking out of its underside?

On every warship in the fleet, the Nihilators stopped what they were doing and stared in wonder and awe at the magnificent vessel floating before them, the golden vision stirring long-forgotten memories of childhood innocence…and the ending of the Diz-Nee animated Peter Pon movie, for some reason. "What _is_ that?" Manaphy whispered finally.

"It's so beautiful…" Shelly said.

"And so bright! Argh, my eyes!" Matt cried, stumbling around in blindness.

"Oooohhh," the Phione said.

In the _Golden Dream's _command cabin, which would not have looked out of place as the bridge of a sci-fi starship save for all the gold trim, piles of treasure heaped up everywhere, and the distinctly nautical and piratey theme of the furnishings, Barbedo laughed when he saw how all the enemy ships had stopped firing upon their entrance. "Darhar, I think we made a bit of an impression on them, didn't we lads?"

"Aye, cap'n!" the other pirates in the room, monning various instruments and controls, chorused in reply.

"This…is…so…_cooooool!_" Leo, who was standing against the back wall with the rest of Team Aurabolt, slavered, looking as if he was about to collapse in a full-on nerdgasm.

"This is incredible…an actual Pokelantean warship!" Lily gushed, almost as excited as her boyfriend. "They and Lemewria developed innovations in spells and technology we can scarcely dream of today, finding all sorts of ways to blend the fields of magic and science together! Which…is why it's probably a good thing they died out and most of the discoveries from their civilizations no longer exist, because it would be a lot harder to fight the Nihilators or my mother if they had their paws on that kind of power…"

"Instead, we have our paws on it," Sasha said. "Which is a good thing, yes?"

Pikachu nodded in agreement. "Finding the other Star Badges and taking down the Nihilators will certainly be a lot easier with a vehicle like this."

_Once we wrest control of it from Barbedo, anyway,_ Dawn clicked.

"And you doubted me when I said we'd eventually get an airship!" Leo said triumphantly, causing the samurai to groan.

"What're you waiting for? Open fire already! We don't have all day," Briney complained, the ache in his eye getting worse. His metal skin felt like it was melting from the inside, the desperate need to get to that floating temple and find his last target growing stronger and stronger with every passing moment.

"No, we need to give them a warning and offer them a chance to leave first," Barbedo said, reaching for what looked like a cross between a ship's horn and a microphone.

"You'll actually let them escape?" Ash asked in disbelief.

Barbedo laughed. "Of course not! I'll only let them think I will to lull them into a false sense of security and get their hopes up…which will make me crushing them that much sweeter!" The others sweatdropped. "Anyway: attention, enemy fleet!" he shouted into his horn, causing his voice to be broadcast all over the island by the _Golden Dream's _external speakers. "I am Captain Barbedo, King of the Pirates, master of the _Golden Dream,_ and _true_ ruler of the oceans! Ye're trespassing on private property! Ye have until the count of ten to turn about-face and skedaddle, or I'll rip ye to shreds with me bare hands and feed what's left of ye to me mate Polly! Ten…nine…eight…"

"I'm guessing he's not actually going to give them that long and start shooting around three or so?" Pikachu asked Fat Pete, who was standing at attention nearby. Well, more like sitting, his separated legs had gotten lost somewhere in all the frenzied rush of everyone boarding the ship and raising anchor so he was still a disembodied torso.

"Yep!" the skeleton said with a nod. "Wouldn't be piratey to do anything less, would it?"

"Nope!" Leo said cheerfully.

"Pirates aren't very nice people, are they?" Tiny complained. "They seemed much friendlier in Mankey Island…"

"Remember lad, there's a difference between what you see in fiction and what you see in real life," Briney said.

"Something Leo seems to be largely unaware of," Sasha commented.

"Hey, I know the difference between real life and fiction!" Leo said indignantly. "Real life is events that happen here, while fiction is events that happen in a completely other universe far away from here."

The others sweatdropped. "That's not-" Pikachu started.

"Actually, given the nature of the Omniverse, he's right," Lily interjected. "Everything happens somewhere."

"…Seriously? That's just great…" Pikachu groaned as he suddenly realized it was very possible that the characters and worlds from all of Leo's favorite animes and video games might actually exist somewhere out there.

"…But doesn't that mean _nothing's_ fiction?" Ash asked, getting confused. "If that were the case, then how do writers know events that are happening in other worlds?"

"Oh, they don't, but there's so many worlds out there it's inevitable that one where events occur the same way they do in their stories exists _somewhere_," Lily said. "The Omniverse is large enough for all possibilities to happen at some point in time, including events exactly similar to those you might see in a book, or movie, or game."

…_Then does that mean that, inversely, someone, somewhere, is writing a story that by some remarkable coincidence describes the very same adventures _we_ are having?_ Dawn asked in alarm.

"And that someone might be _reading_ about us having those adventures?" Ash asked.

"Pretty much, yeah," Leo said.

They all considered this for a moment. Then they shuddered, not particularly liking it. (Well, Leo did, but he was pretty much the only one.)

"Five…four…ah, they've decided to attack. And before we even fired a shot, too! How rude of them to preempt me! I was going to start blasting them when we hit three," Barbedo complained as the warships targeted the _Golden Dream_ with their cannons and started firing lasers and missiles and energy blasts. "Oh well, time to show them what we're made of. Raise the reflector shields!"

"Aye-aye, cap'n!" the bridge crew replied, working their consoles.

"Don't you mean deflector shields?" Leo asked.

"No," Barbedo said.

The air around the _Golden Dream _shimmered and hardened into a transparent reflective sphere. The thousands of projectiles and blasts streaking through the air towards the ship struck the sphere…and rebounded, flying back on the exact same trajectory they had come from, slamming into the vessels that had launched them and causing terrific explosions to erupt along their lengths. Burning Nihilators jumped over the sides screaming as their ships ripped themselves apart, the flames and explosions gutting out their insides and causing their massive hulks to start sinking towards the bottom of the ocean. The water rushing in to replace the space the giant warships vacated capsized and sank many of the smaller boats that had been clustered around them and dragged most of the Nihilators trying to swim to their safety to their doom, not from drowning—since most of them were Water-types, and could breathe underwater—but from being eaten alive by the sea monsters, whose hunger and delight at getting a free meal more than overwhelmed their terror and alarm at the explosions and chaos happening around them.

"Well, what d'ye think of that, eh?" Barbedo chortled to the astonished Team Aurabolt as they stared out through the windows and viewscreen at the burning ships sinking all around the island. "We took out at least half of that runt's ships without firing a single shot! Not bad, huh?"

"…This. Ship. Is. AWESOME!" Leo screamed.

"I want it," Briney said, eyes filled with lust. "This ship must be mine!"

"Oh, it'll be yours all right…if ye can beat me! Darharharharhar!" Barbedo laughed. "If not, ye can serve on it fer all time. That's not too bad a consolation prize, is it?"

Briney narrowed his eyes. "Thaddeus Irving Briney _never_ takes a consolation prize!"

"He used his full name, which just shows you how serious he is," Leo said.

"Eh," Barbedo grunted, unimpressed. (The fool.)

"No wonder you were known as the king of the pirates…with a ship like this, you must have been unstoppable!" said a stunned Pikachu.

"Which begs the question of how exactly you were captured and executed in the first place," Sasha said.

Every pirate in the room stiffened. "Er…that's…not something I really be feeling comfortable talking about…" Barbedo said, shifting uneasily.

"Didn't that book Professor Oak showed us say something about them setting a trap for you at a broth-" Ash recalled.

"I SAID IT'S NOT SOMETHING I FEEL COMFORTABLE TALKING ABOUT!" Barbedo bellowed. If he had still had blood or skin, he would have been blushing.

"…But…wait…you were a skeleton…how…how did you…" Pikachu stammered as he tried—unwillingly—to wrap his mind around the concept introduced to him.

"Well, let's just say that when ye _really_ set yer mind to it, a person can do a lot of things he never thought he was capable of," Fat Pete said. "Take me and Molly, fer example-"

_So, Captain,_ Dawn quickly and thankfully interrupted. _You have taken out half of the Nihilator fleet without firing a single shot. What will you do to destroy the rest?_

Barbedo grinned, his gold teeth gleaming. "Just wait and see fer yerself, lass!"

"What…what did he hit us with?" asked the shocked Manaphy as his minions tried to assess and repair the damage dealt by the reflected weapon fire.

"Everything we threw at him, I think," Shelly said, rather dazed.

"Papa, our shields are still holding," a Phione reported. "That attack gave us a nasty shock, but didn't do any real damage. If they do something like that again, though, I can't guarantee it'll stay that way."

Manaphy growled. "That's a pretty nice trick they have…and a pretty nice ship, too. I wonder if it'll work on my little pets, though?" His antenna untangled themselves and spread out on either side of his head, pink waves rippling out from the balls on their ends as his eyes and the Blue Orb glowed sapphire.

Outside the temple, the sea monsters stiffened as the pink energy from Manaphy's antenna washed over them, causing their eyes to turn blue as his power overtook them. One by one, they rose from their bloody feast and turned towards the _Golden Dream,_ their many jaws dropping and emitting a great roar which shook the island and buffeted the flying ship. Tails and fins churning the water into a white froth, the monsters converged on the glittering vessel.

"So he can control sea monsters with his mind? Bah, a cheap trick," Barbedo scoffed, unimpressed. "I've seen better."

"How did he do that?" asked Pikachu. "I thought that Blue Orb only controlled Kyogre."

"It does," Lily said. "But Manaphy has an attack called Heart Swap that lets him not only switch the hearts and minds of other Pokémon, but connect them to his own. He must be using that in conjunction with the Blue Orb's power to command those beasts."

Ash blinked. "What? But…if he's controlling them with his heart, then…that means he can't be a Shadow Pokémon!"

Sasha frowned. "But if that is the case, then why is he working for the Nihilators? He is a legendary Pokémon. Is it not their duty to protect the world?"

"Groudon and Kyogre certainly weren't, and neither were the three legendary beasts last time we saw them," Leo pointed out.

"Groudon and Kyogre were imprisoned, and the beasts were turned into Shadows," Ash said. "If Manaphy isn't a Shadow Pokémon, though, then that means he must be doing all this willingly…but why?"

"Ye can ask him yerself before I part his head from his shoulders!" Barbedo said.

"Don't we need to get rid of those sea monsters first?" Tiny asked.

_Can your reflector shield repel them?_ Dawn asked.

"Don't need to! We have our own way of dealing with sea devils!" Molly said.

"By shooting at them with your really big cannons?" Briney asked hopefully.

"We could, but I'd rather do something a little more…humbling," Barbedo said with a cruel grin. "Let's see how this so-called 'Supreme Admiral' feels when he learns he's not the only one who can control sea monsters!"

"What, you're going to use Polly? He can't possibly take them all on!" Ash protested.

"That's because he won't. Ready the Banshee's Wail!" Barbedo bellowed.

"Aye-aye, cap'n!" the other pirates chorused.

As the sea monsters closed in, a half-dozen pirates filed out onto the main deck and grabbed onto the levers of an ornate capstan which rose out of the ground. As a bosun shouted them on, the pirates bent over and started turning the levers, twisting the capstan and causing it to begin rising out of the deck. As they did so, the eyes of the ship's figurehead lit up and its mouth started opening, the jaw dropping further and stretching the mouth wider than human mouths were supposed to go. With a grunt of exertion, the pirates put their backs to it and turned the capstan one last time…

Causing it to slam back into the ground and a great sonic pulse to be emitted from the figurehead's mouth, washing across the island and buffeting the eardrums of the sea monsters. The beasts shrieked in agony as the wail, audible to them on a frequency too high for most Pokémon to pick up, bombarded their primitive minds, causing blood to leak from their eyes and mouths. Wracked with pain, they fell back on their most primal instincts, forgetting their orders and turning away from the brilliant ship that was the source of their torment, swimming back out to sea as fast as they possibly could.

"What? No! NO! Come back here! I am your master, the supreme ruler of all the world's seas!" Manaphy shrieked in fury, antenna and eyes and Blue Orb glowing as he desperately tried to reconnect with the hearts of his minions, only to be rebuffed, the panic and agony filling their simple brains overwhelming his own and giving him a migraine. "Gah…ugh…this…this can't be happening…"

"Sir, all our sea monsters are retreating!" Matt cried in alarm.

Several Phione, sensing their father was in pain, clustered around Manaphy. "Papa, are you all right?" one asked in concern.

Manaphy shoved them away angrily, too lost in rage to notice or even care how worried and scared his children were. "Those bastards…how dare they…how dare they do this to me? I am no mere prince, a godling without a kingdom! I am Manaphy, master of all that swims and floats in the waters of the world! None can defy me! Open fire! Hit them with everything we've got!"

"But sir, what about that shield of theirs?" Shelly protested.

"Reinforce our own shields and keep shooting until that thing falls from the skies!" Manaphy bellowed. "We have some of the most advanced weaponry in the world, and that thing's just a two thousand-plus-year old relic! I want to see it scuttled and broken on the ocean floor, the corpses of its crew picked apart by the denizens of the deeps! I will not be denied my moment of triumph and vengeance! I don't care what it takes, just KILL THEM!" Frightened, the bridge crew quickly relayed orders to do just that.

"Hahar, would ye look at those sons of Seadras swim away like sissies? Guess they can't take a little noise," Barbedo boasted.

"Looks like you weren't the first one to think of weaponizing sound against sea monsters, Leo," Pikachu said.

"I never said I was the first. But I'm rather impressed someone came up with the same idea so long ago!" Leo said.

Sasha's fur bristled. "We have incoming," she warned them as the remaining ships and the Temple leveled their weapons and opened fire again.

"Then just raise the reflector shields again," Pikachu said.

"Er…we can't," Pete said.

"…What do you mean we can't?" Ash demanded.

"Do ye have any idea how much power it takes to use something as powerful as that? Every time we use it, we need to wait a few minutes for it to recharge before it can be used again," Molly said.

"But we don't _have_ a few minutes! We're about to get hit _now!_" Tiny cried in alarm.

"No we aren't," Barbedo said. "All weapons, open fire!"

On the exterior of the ship, the cannons swiveled in their mounts to point at the incoming fire. Panels flipped open on the deck, stern, and keel to reveal more cannons and numerous missile launchers. The eyes of the Banshee figurehead, the face on the prow, and the skulls on the masts started glowing. The arms beneath the face on the prow unfolded themselves. The bowsprit split right down the middle and slid apart slightly, revealing the barrel of a very long and very powerful-looking rail gun. There was a hum as the myriad weapons of mass destruction began charging…

And then, with a thunderclap that shook the island, the _Golden Dream _fired everything it had all at once. Anti-heat-seeking-missiles-missiles targeted the incoming rockets and intercepted them, destroying themselves along with the enemy missiles in brilliant explosions. Other missiles soared high into the air, split apart into a half-dozen smaller rockets each, and fell back down on the Nihilator ships in a rain of death. Lasers and energy bolts fired from the many, _many_ cannons mounted on the ship's deck and sides and stern and from the eyes of its many statues and carvings, some of the blasts defying physics by changing direction in mid-air to seek out and destroy the incoming shots while others actually went _around_ them, locking onto and destroying the cannons and turrets that had fired on the flying ship, the resulting explosions tearing the enemy warships to pieces. And as for the rail gun, its discharge was so powerful that the sails, fans, and oars had to release a tremendous burst of energy to keep from being knocked back in the air from the recoil of the weapon's fire, the projectile launched from the barrel of the electric gun streaking through the air so fast it broke the sound barrier repeatedly and left a trail of plasma in its wake, smashing into the shields surrounding the Temple of the Sea so hard that the bubble-shaped barrier almost turned itself inside-out from the force of impact, becoming briefly concave from the sheer power of the shot that had just hit it.

As the jaws of Team Aurabolt dropped in disbelief (and in Leo and Briney's case, envy and delight) at the sheer amount of firepower that had just been discharged, Barbedo scowled. "Curses, I was hoping we'd have cracked that floating eyesore in two…oh well, I doubt they'll be able to survive another hit like that!"

"Neither will whatever treasure's in there, Cap'n," Pete pointed out.

Barbedo scowled. "Hmm, good point. I guess I'll have to show a little…ugh…restraint if I want to get that Sea Crown."

"Cap'n, they aren't finished yet," a pirate reported. "We've got more inbound fire!"

"Blast it out of the sky!" Barbedo roared.

"Er, we can't. All our guns are overheated due to firing them all at once…they need a few more seconds to cool off before we can use them again," the pirate said Mareepishly.

"Hmm…" Barbedo stroked his chin, causing the coins of his beard to clink against each other. "And I'm guessing the reflector still isn't finished charging?"

"No sir," the pirate said.

Barbedo burst into laughter. "Then it's a good thing that even with all of that against us, we're still far from helpless!" He thrust his fists into two holes in his console, withdrawing a pair of sleek metal gloves festooned with wires leading back into the control panel. He wiggled his fingers, and outside, the arms on the ship's prow mimicked his movements. He thrust his hands forward and the robot arms outside did the same, causing a pair of giant green holographic hands resembling the pirate king's own to manifest in front of the ship. He swung a hand through the air, and one of the holograms replicated his motion, swatting several of the inbound projectiles out of the air and causing them to destroy another ship. He thrust another hand outward, and a hologram did a pretty good impression of Arm Thrust, blowing up another dozen or so shots in midair. He clawed at the air, and one of the holograms grabbed a missile that had gotten too close, the rocket's engine roaring furiously as it tried to break free. Barbedo turned his hand around and made a throwing motion, causing the hologram to release the missile, sending it streaking back through the air and impacting against the shields of the Temple of the Sea, causing them to tremble. He repeated this with every other solid missile that came his way, damaging the Temple's defenses further, and when the ships stopped firing missiles and desperately bombarded him with lasers and energy blasts, and the Temple itself fired a half-dozen or so streams of golden high-pressure water at the _Golden Dream,_ he interlocked his hands together and flexed his fingers, causing the holograms to grow in size and form a barrier in front of the ship. He grimaced as the enemy's volley impacted against his projected hands, pounding furiously against them in an attempt to break through. "Iron Gut Caruso, have the reflectors finished recharging?"

"Aye-aye, Cap'n!" a rust-covered undead Aggron replied.

"Then raise them on the count of three, Mr. Caruso. One…two…THREE!" Barbedo pulled his hands apart, causing the holograms to vanish and the water streams and other incoming fire to streak right towards them…

Only to slam into the reflector shields and rebound, returning the way they'd come. The few ships that had managed to survive the previous attacks were virtually disintegrated by the reflected assault, the Nihilators onboard wiped out in a tremendous—and no doubt very painful—series of explosions. As the flaming wrecks of the ships collapsed into the ocean, the weaponized Temple of the Sea was the only thing still floating…and it didn't look as if it would be floating for much longer either, the structure's shields had taken a very bad hit from this latest reflector blast and looked as if they might fail at any minute.

"Shields are at seventeen percent and dropping! We can't take another hit like that!" a Phione reported as red lights flashed and klaxons blared in the command center.

"Dammit! How can they possibly be this powerful?" Manaphy yelled in frustration.

"Admiral sir, the entire fleet's been destroyed! All our sea monsters but Kyogre are gone, and our systems are dangerously close to crashing! We have to retreat!" Shelly cried.

"And run away? When we're so close? No! Absolutely not! I have Ash and the Star Badge in my sights! I can't leave now! Not when victory is almost in my grasp! Not when my revenge is so close I can _taste_ it!" Manaphy snarled.

"Papa, I think they're going to fire that really big gun of theirs again," a Phione reported.

Manaphy's face paled. "FALL BACK! ALL ENGINES FULL REVERSE! GET US THE ABYSS OUT OF HERE!"

More klaxons blared throughout the temple to alert all personnel that they were about to submerge. The shields shimmered and reenergized as the temple began sinking into the ocean. "Wow, we didn't even hit them that time and they're already sinking!" Tiny said.

"They're not sinking, they're getting away!" Briney shouted, rubbing at his eye, which was stinging more and more. "We have to go after them!"

"But how?" Lily asked.

Barbedo grinned. "Simple! Engage submarine mode!"

"…Wait. This thing can fly AND it can turn into a submarine?" Leo cried in disbelief.

"Yes," Barbedo said.

"…Best. Ship. EVEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRR!" he squealed.

As the temple vanished beneath the waves, the _Golden Dream _lowered until the tip of its lower mast was just barely touching the surface of the water. Klaxons blared and the pirates on deck quickly scurried back below as a remarkable transformation took place. The fans on the ship's side folded themselves up and flattened themselves against the hull. The oar formation on the back compressed itself to create a cone rather than a sunburst. The masts telescoped in on themselves, reducing their height significantly, then folded backwards so that the top two were laying against each other and the bottom one was plastered against the keel. The sails shimmered and the spars cracked into segments which folded and extended to wrap around the circumference of the ship, connecting with the spars of the lower mast and forming a series of rings. The sails hummed and flowed outwards, the energy fields making them up expanding to fill the spaces between the spars and creating a sleek blue energy shell which encompassed most of the vessel and looked rather pretty to boot, especially when magnificent ornate golden lines drew themselves on their surface. The bowsprit segmented itself and reconfigured its length to create an enormous corkscrew that would make the ship even more aquadynamic. The corkscrew started spinning and the oar cone started glowing vibrantly as the newly formed submersible dove into the water with barely a splash, vanishing into the sea.

Caserin, who had been watching the whole battle from a safe spot, ventured back out into the water as he saw the _Golden Dream_ dive into the ocean. "Well," he said in awe. "This is certainly going to be quite the story to tell when I get back to Aquaris!"

…

Underwater…

"…This is…incredible…" murmured an astonished Ash as they stared out through the portholes at the water rushing past them.

"I think Leo's right," Pikachu whispered in amazement. "This _is_ the best ship ever."

"Can it dig underground, too?" Leo asked hopefully. "I mean, it's got a drill and all…"

Pete shook his head. "Nah, we tried that. We got stuck underground for a few months. Not very pleasant, let me tell ye. It was like being buried all over again!"

"This ship was designed to fight in the air and on and under the sea," Molly said. "The Pokelanteans had no reason to think they'd ever need to engage in subterranean warfare."

Leo snorted. "Well that was short-sighted of them, what did they plan to do if they ever got invaded by the Agarthans from the center of the Earth?"

"…The who now?" asked a confused Pete

"Don't ask," Pikachu said before Leo could answer. "You're probably better off not knowing." The Squirtle scowled at him.

"Look! Up ahead…it's the temple!" Sasha cried as the bubble containing the Temple of the Sea appeared on the main screen, the construct swiftly being carried away by the ocean currents.

"Ha! Won't they be surprised to see us?" Briney said with a dark chuckle.

They were, in fact. "What the…how are they following us? What _is_ that thing?" Manaphy shrieked incredulously.

"Admiral, they should be within firing range shortly. What are your orders? Do we engage them?" Matt asked.

"How are the shields doing?" Manaphy asked.

"We've restored them to about thirty-eight percent capacity, sir," Shelly reported.

"And we still have weapons, but they aren't at full capacity either…the feedback from the last attack's damaged them pretty badly," Matt said.

Manaphy growled. "Dammit…what about Kyogre? Have we finished refitting her?"

"Yes, Papa," a Phione said.

"Good," Manaphy said, eyes and Blue Orb glowing. "Then release her! Let's see how that ship of theirs can handle a god!"

"Cap'n, we should be within firing range any second now," Six-Hands McGee reported back on the bridge of the _Golden Dream_.

"Good! Charge up cannons and prepare to launch torpedoes!" the captain ordered.

"Wait…what's that coming out of the temple towards us?" Lily asked as the shield bubble surrounding Samiya rippled and a very large, very _familiar_ form swam out.

"Oh shit, it's Kyogre!" Leo cried in alarm as the divine whale's great blue figure, still bearing the scars from their last encounter, filled the screen.

"Good! It's time for round two, bitch! You'll pay for what you did to the _Peeko XI!_" Briney snarled.

Barbedo grinned, in a similar mood. "Harhar, yes, we've had a few scrapes with the she-devil in the past as well…let's see if we can't finish her this time once and for all!"

"I am not sure that is a good idea," Sasha warned them.

Dawn nodded. _The Temple was badly damaged from our prior attacks. This is clearly just a diversion to give them more time to repair themselves or possibly escape. If we engage Kyogre, Manaphy might get away._

"And while he may have lost his fleet, and doesn't have the Star Badge he's come for, he's still a big threat and we can't allow him to remain in the service of the Nihilators," Ash said in agreement. "He's our real target, not Kyogre!"

Both Briney and Barbedo frowned in disappointment. "Well, I suppose you're right…" Briney said grudgingly.

Barbedo sighed. "Aye, while Kyogre's head would make a fine trophy, the Sea Crown would be an even sweeter one! We need to remain on target…activate the Banshee's Wail! It's driven her off in the past; it should do so now, too!"

Out on the deck, which was still dry and full of air due to the shell covering it—not that it mattered to most of the crew, since they were undead and could walk about outside without having to worry about air or water pressure—a half-dozen pirates once more climbed out from belowdecks and started turning the capstan, cranking open the mouth of the figurehead and causing it to emit a powerful sonic pulse which rippled outwards through the water…

And had no effect on Kyogre. The sound wave washed over her harmlessly, and she opened her great jaws and fired a Hyper Beam at the _Golden Dream._ "Evasive maneuvers!" Barbedo cried in alarm as warning lights flashed, spinning the ship's wheel on his console and tilting the entire vessel to the side, the ludicrously powerful energy beam just barely missing them.

"Wh-why didn't that work?" Molly squawked nervously as Barbedo righted the ship. "It's always worked on her before!"

"It worked for us too, when we tried it earlier," Tiny said. "Well, except that she destroyed our ship right afterwards…"

Leo scanned Kyogre with his sunglasses and gasped. "They've installed some sort of sonic filters over her auditory organs to protect her from sound-based attacks like the one we pulled on her earlier...damn! They're learning! They're not supposed to do that, they're supposed to keep using the same tactics on us over and over, no matter how many times they've failed in the past!"

"Clever bastards…" snarled Briney angrily.

Barbedo swore. "Looks like we're going to have to fight her after all…"

"But we don't have time for that! While she's distracting us, they're getting away!" Ash yelled, pointing at the temple, which was indeed making a hasty retreat while Kyogre swam towards them.

"Then it's a good thing we've got a Plan B!" Barbedo said, pressing a button.

At first, it didn't look as if anything had happened, and Kyogre continued drawing closer. But then, without warning, a giant armored form tackled into the whale's side and knocked her away from the ship. Hissing in fury, Kyogre spun about to see who dared to get in her way…and got a Crabhammer in the face courtesy of Polly, the giant undead Crawdaunt! "It's Polly!" Tiny cried.

"Never thought I'd be happy to see that big lug," Briney said grudgingly.

"What is he doing here?" Sasha asked.

"Ye didn't think I'd start a big fight without me best mate Polly, now did ye?" Barbedo laughed. "He's been hanging back, waiting for me signal to come and help us out. He and Kyogre have had a tussle or two in the past, and he'll be more than happy for another chance at her while we go after the Sea Crown!"

The _Golden Dream_ motored past the two monsters. Kyogre tried to go after them, but Crawdaunt blocked her path and fired a Dark Pulse and Hyper Beam from his claws. Kyogre retaliated with her own Hyper Beam, creating an explosion which blasted both of them apart. Hissing angrily as she recovered, Kyogre fired an Ice Beam at the Crawdaunt. Polly spat a Water Pulse to intercept the beam, the water sphere getting frozen solid as it absorbed the icy blast. He then grabbed the sphere in one claw and flung it into Kyogre's face, causing her to flinch in pain as it shattered against her head. Polly lunged forward while she was stunned and grabbed her fins in both his pincers, latching onto them as hard as he could as he started pulling on them, trying to rip them off the whale's body. She headbutted him and fired a Hyper Beam at point-blank range, ripping a hole through his exoskeleton and out the other side…which didn't hinder him in the slightest, and he continued trying to rip her fins off as she thrashed about in frustration. "He really is very loyal to you, isn't he?" Lily remarked as they left the wrestling sea monsters behind.

"Aye, Polly's me best mate…we've risked our lives and unlives for each other on a number of occasions. There's nobody I trust more in all the seas to watch me back than him," Barbedo said.

Ash smiled at Pikachu. "I know what that's like…" He frowned. "Except when you're running off to save a sword!"

Pikachu sweatdropped. "I said I was sorry…"

On the command bridge of the Temple of the Sea, the Nihilators were panicking when they saw that their mighty guardian was distracted and their enemies were still on a Combeeline right for them. "Dammit, they're still coming! Where the hell did that Crawdaunt come from?" Shelly asked in alarm.

"And what's it made of? How could it possibly just shrug off one of Kyogre's Hyper Beams like it was nothing?" Matt cried incredulously.

Manaphy winced and rubbed his forehead. "And why can't I control it? It's almost like another power has taken hold of its heart…but how can that be?"

"Papa, shields are at forty-nine percent and we've almost finished repairing our weapons," a Phione reported.

Manaphy growled. "We need more time…activate the cloaking device! Let's see how good those weapons of theirs are against an invisible target. You can't hit what you can't see, after all…"

Barbedo cursed as the temple shimmered and disappeared. "Damn! They've activated their cloak! We'll never find them now…"

"What, your sensors can't pick them up?" Leo asked.

"Ye don't think we've tried before?" Pete asked.

"The only reason we were able to find it the last time is because it was a lunar eclipse, which causes the cloak automatically disengage for some reason," Molly explained. "Very convenient for us, eh?"

Pikachu frowned. "Yeah…really…"

"Well, convenient coincidences can't just happen to us, can they?" Sasha asked.

Pikachu sighed. "I suppose not…"

"Dammit…I can sense him out there, somewhere! But where is he?" Briney growled, rubbing his eye.

"Captain, your sensors may not be able to pick them up…but ours might be able to! Tiny?" Ash said.

Tiny nodded. "Right!" Both of them closed their eyes and started scanning the area with Aura-sight.

Barbedo chuckled. "Ah, that's right, ye have the power of Aura! That'll make ye a fine addition to me crew as navigators and treasure-finders!"

"Don't count your Torchics before they've hatched, Captain, you still need to beat us first before we serve you," Pikachu reminded him.

The pirate laughed. "Ye say that like it'll be difficult!"

"Got it!" Tiny cried after a moment.

"They're right over…there!" Ash declared, pointing.

"Fire a spread of torpedoes in that direction!" Barbedo ordered.

Tubes irised open on the sides of the ship and a half-dozen Sharpedo-faced torpedoes fired outwards in a fan-shaped pattern away from the _Golden Dream._ Most of them sailed off into the distance, failing to hit anything…while two smashed into what looked to be nothing but empty sea, the explosion causing the water to crackle and shimmer and reveal the form of the Temple of the Sea.

_There they are!_ Said Dawn.

"Hoho, we've got them now!" Briney said eagerly.

"Admiral, our cloak is down! They've spotted us!" Matt cried as more emergency lights started flashing in the temple's command center.

"But how? HOW? We were invisible! No sensor should have been able to detect us!" Manaphy raved, looking like he was on the verge of a breakdown.

"Weapons are ready, sir. Should we open fire?" Shelly asked.

"No, we can't!" one of the Phione spoke up. "If they use that reflective shield of theirs, we'll be toast! Our shields are back down to twenty-seven percent after that last hit!"

"Well, somebody do SOMETHING!" Manaphy shouted in exasperation.

Somebody did. Unfortunately for the Nihilators, that somebody was the pirates. "Fire grappling hooks!" Barbedo cried.

The anchor ports opened on the sides of the jaws on the prow and fired the anchors at the temple like missiles, trailing chains behind them. The anchors pierced the membrane of the shield, ripping through a colonnade and smashing into the central spire, imbedding themselves in its sides and anchoring the _Golden Dream _to the temple. "We have a secure foothold, Cap'n!" Iron Gut Caruso said. "They can't get away from us now!"

Barbedo grinned. "Good! Full throttle to the engines and crank the drill up to full power, we're going in!"

The oar cone on the back of the ship started glowing brighter and brighter as it powered up, and the corkscrew started spinning so fast bubbles and foam flew in every direction. With a sound not unlike the roar of a rocket ship, the ship launched itself forward, colliding into the temple with an impact that sent shockwaves rippling out in every direction. The shield convulsed and shimmered chaotically as the spinning corkscrew slammed into it, drilling and drilling against its surface and pushing at the membrane. Unable to withstand the assault in its weakened condition, the shield rippled and shook and finally gave up the Ghost-type, ripping open and allowing the front third of the _Golden Dream_ to penetrate the barrier, the corkscrew smashing into the ramp around the exterior of the central spire and causing parts of it to collapse, sending debris falling on the panicked Nihilators running about below. With a pneumatic hiss, the jaws on the prow cranked themselves open, and half a dozen cables shot out, their ends burying themselves in several points on the ornate walkways and walls of the central tower, and the pirates slid down them on pulleys, waving their weapons and howling madly at the prospect of the bloodbath they were about to commence.

"Come on, lads! Ye don't want to miss all the fun, do ye?" Captain Barbedo, who had joined the rest of the crew in the staging area in the ship's mouth, laughed to Team Aurabolt as he chose a cable and started sliding down it, swinging his sword through the air and splitting a Mantine flying up to intercept him in half.

"Wow," Pikachu said in amazement as they watched the carnage unfold below them. "This is…something else…"

"I thought they were pacifists now," Tiny commented as the pirates engaged the frightened Nihilators with an almost disturbing amount of glee.

"Technically, so is Pokemon Square," Ash said. "But that really just means we don't go looking for a fight…if one should come to us, though, we don't hold back!"

"We're attacking an undersea fortress in the awesomest ship that's ever been built alongside the nastiest, toughest pirates who ever lived and died! How can this adventure possibly get any cooler?" Leo squealed giddily.

"I'm sure we'll find a way somehow," Briney said. "Let's get down there; we can't let the pirates have all the fun!"

"But which cable should we take?" Sasha asked, glancing at the options available.

Ash closed his eyes. "I sense Manaphy's Aura at…the top of the tower."

"How cliché," Leo commented. "I guess we should take this cable over here, then. Its endpoint is the highest of all the others, so it'll take us to the boss fight faster."

"Then we should get going before Barbedo gets to Manaphy and kills him before we can find out what he's doing on the dark side," Pikachu said.

"Er, one question," Sasha said. "How am I supposed to ride this thing? I have no hands, and I don't think I can grip one of those pulleys in my teeth…"

"I'll carry you," Briney said. "I'm more than strong enough, and it's not like I need to ride a line, anyway. I can fly on my own power."

"As can I," Lily said.

"That takes care of that problem, then," Ash said, reaching up and grabbing the handle of one of the remaining pulleys attached to the cable they'd chosen. "So let's go!"

One by one they grabbed onto a pulley and slid out of the ship's mouth, riding the cable over the battle raging below. "Waaaaahoooooo!" Leo cheered enthusiastically.

"Leo, be careful not to fall!" Lily cried, hovering close to the Squirtle.

"It's a good thing I'm not afraid of heights!" Tiny shouted.

_This reminds me of some of my training exercises,_ Dawn commented. _Except it wasn't underwater, and there weren't pirates._

"Please don't drop me," Sasha said to Briney, who was carrying her under his body as he hovered after the others.

"Relax lass, you're in safe claws," he assured her.

Pikachu frowned as they passed over a couple of human and Prinplup pirates desperately fighting against a group of Nihilators. The Shadow Pokémon entered Hyper Mode, black Auras engulfing their forms as they charged forwards with Shadow Rush, Shadow Break, and Shadow Ram, their attacks smashing the skeletons apart. "Can Barbedo's crew handle the Nihilators? There's more of them, and they have the power of Shadow…"

The Shadow Pokémon roared and stomped about and congratulated themselves on their victories…until the hands of the pirates they had just defeated flew into the air and grabbed their throats and ankles, choking them and freezing them in place. The scattered bones started pelting them, battering the startled Nihilators about and wounding them a bit before reassembling and ambling forward to attack the Shadow Pokémon once again. _I think they have things under control,_ Dawn said as the pirates finished off their opponents, laughed madly, and rushed off to find someone else to fight.

Some of the Nihilators rushing to reinforce their brethren against the pirates noticed the heroes zipping by overhead and decided to switch targets. Qwilfish inhaled water and fired Pin Missiles upwards. Remoraid popped their heads out of the water and fired Psybeams. Mantine soared into the air and flew towards them with Wing Attack, intending to sever the cable. Tentacruel fired jets of poison to try and melt their skin off. Pikachu crackled with electricity and let loose with Thunderbolts, his electric blasts striking the Mantine and knocking them out of the sky. Briney grabbed the Pin Missiles telekinetically and flung them away while Sasha flicked her head to fire Razor Wind and Dawn hurled ice kunai at the Qwilfish, puncturing their balloon-like bodies and causing them to deflate. Ash flung an Aura Sphere at the Psybeams one-handed while Tiny followed up with some Hidden Power orbs, blowing them up in midair, and Leo blasted the water the Remoraid were in with Ice Beam, freezing them in place. Lily disintegrated the poison streams with bursts of flame, and then set the Tentacruels on fire, causing them to shriek and writhe in agony and submerge themselves. Some Corsola and Floatzel rushed out of a door on a ledge the end of their cable was anchored to and attacked, the Corsola firing Pin Missiles and the Floatzel rocketing towards them with Aqua Jet. Leo laughed and fired an Ice Beam at the Floatzel along with Dawn, freezing the Floatzel inside their jets and causing them to fall to the ground. Briney again caught the Pin Missiles telekinetically and flung them away, and Pikachu zapped the Corsola with Thunderbolt, causing them to screech in pain and stagger about long enough for Ash to reach the end of the zipline, jump off, and punt them off the side of the ledge just as the others dropped in behind him.

"Nice work, everyone," the Lucario said to his friends as they took a moment to catch their breath. "Now come on! We can get to Manaphy through here!"

"He hasn't moved?" Pikachu asked as they started for the nearby door.

"Not that I've noticed," Ash said.

"Good, then let's find the brat and pound some sense into—eh?" Briney stiffened as his eye burned with pain…and he detected a familiar presence. Whirling around, he looked down at the battle going on below, spotting a Starmie rushing to join the fight with the latest batch of Nihilator reinforcements. The starfish stiffened, as if feeling Briney's stare, and turned around. Its gem core locked with the gaze from Briney's eyes…even the one that wasn't his, the one under his eyepatch. It shuddered, its gem flashing in alarm, and abruptly it turned and fled, ignoring the cries of alarm and dismay from its compatriots. "It's him."

"Huh? Who?" Leo asked.

"No," Ash gasped. "Is it…"

Briney nodded slowly, his eye still focused on the fleeing Starmie. "Aye. The mon who killed my wife. The very last one…Archie Aogiri."

There was a moment's silence. _Well, what are you waiting for?_ Dawn asked finally. _Aren't you going to go after him?_

"I want to," Briney hissed, his body trembling. "With every fiber of my being, I want to. But…" He turned to the others. "I'm part of this team now. I can't…I can't just go running off on mission of vengeance without considering the fact that you might need me here more, like-" He hesitated.

"Like how I ran off after Oblivion's Shadow back in Treasure Town?" Ash asked.

"…Pretty much, aye," Briney said Mareepishly.

"Mon…tough choice," Leo murmured. "Go after something you've spent the last decade in search of…or stick it out with your friends?"

"That it is," Briney said. _Especially since I don't know what I'm going to do when I catch up to him. I promised Darkrai I wouldn't kill him, but…but I can't just do nothing as he escapes justice yet again!_ Not that he intended to let the others know about his doubts, of course. He hadn't told them about the price he had been forced to pay for his chance to see Peeko again, and intended to leave it that way.

"…Go," Pikachu said abruptly.

The others looked at him in surprise. He was the last person they would have expected to say that. "Huh? Are you sure?" Ash asked.

Pikachu nodded. "Vengeance is not something I condone…but this is as much a matter of honor as it is one of revenge, and honor is something I can understand. For the last decade, you've blamed yourself for not being there to protect your wife. If killing the last of the Pokémon who are responsible for taking her from you is the only way to find a measure of peace, then…there's really nothing else you can do, is there?" He smiled. "And besides…wasn't that one of your conditions for joining our team in the first place? That if you came along with us, you could go after the mon who killed Peeko?"

"…That it was," Briney admitted. "But…are you sure about this?"

Pikachu nodded. "This is something you have to do. We understand."

"We can manage for a little while without you. We've done it before, after all," Ash said.

"And besides," Leo said. "It's not like you'll be going too far. We'll be able to keep in touch with you and know where you are using the badges."

_You must kill this mon…just as I must one day kill Paul. It's as simple as that,_ Dawn said.

"And once you're done…you'll come right back to help us, won't you?" Lily asked.

"Of course!" Briney said. "Wild Rapidashes couldn't drag me from all of you!"

"But you want to leave us now," Tiny said plaintively, a hurt look on his face.

Briney hesitated. "I…it's not that I _want_ to leave, lad, it's just…I _have_ to. Every moment of my life for the past ten years has been building up to this. I can't…I can't just float away from it. Not after everything. Not when I'm so close…" He looked the Larvitar in the eye. "And I promise…when I'm done, I'll come right back to find all of you. You can always count on Captain Briney to be there when he's needed most."

"…Okay," Tiny said reluctantly.

"You'd better get going, then," Sasha said. "Before he manages to escape."

Briney nodded. "Right. Can't let that happen." He hesitated. "All of you…Ash, Pikachu, Leo, Sasha, Tiny, Lily, Dawn…thank you all for understanding. It means a lot to know that…I have shipmates as good as you all looking out for me."

"Awwww, we love you too, Captain," Leo said.

_Go forth and avenge your wife,_ Dawn said. _This is what has kept you alive for the last decade. Fulfill your promise. Do what I have, so far, been unable to accomplish._

"I certainly intend to," Briney said.

"And Briney?" Ash said as the Metang turned to depart. "When you find him…don't do anything you'll regret later, okay?"

Briney stiffened. _Don't do something I'll regret? I'm not even sure what I'm going to do when I _find_ the bastard…I can't kill him…can I? But if I do, then…then what about Peeko?_ He sighed. _I guess I'll figure it out when I find him._ "I'll try not to, lad. Good luck, all of you." He waved and hovered off in the direction the Starmie had vanished.

"He'll be all right, won't he?" Lily asked anxiously once he was gone.

"Of course he will! He's Captain Briney! Nothing can beat him!" Leo said confidently.

"Let's get moving," Ash said. "Briney has his mission…and so do we."

They entered the tower. The last time Ash had been in this place, over a thousand years ago, the interior of the Temple of the Sea had been a magnificent palace done in classical design, with marble columns and walkways lined by channels of water, waterfalls pouring into aqueducts in artistic patterns arcing over beautiful gardens, fountains cascading into pools, sculptures and carvings of Water Pokemon all over the place.

A lot had changed in a thousand years. The walkways and walls were now patched in places with metal and lined with power conduits and cables. The channels had been drained in many places to allow for the laying down of more wiring and other mechanical components. While water still flowed in some places, it no longer looked as pure and crystal-clear, as if something at its source had been corrupted and was now polluting the rest. The gardens had been uprooted and replaced by humming generators and computers and piles of refuse. The sculptures had been defaced and removed, replaced by statues of the Nihilator emblem, Oblivion's Shadow, Manaphy, and, quite disturbingly…a human girl Ash found very familiar. Samiya, pride of the now-extinct People of the Water, was no longer a place of worship dedicated to the wonders of the ocean, but a den of evil.

This sense of defilement and wrongness grew stronger the deeper they got into the temple's winding corridors and stairwells. "I don't like the Aura of this place," Tiny complained unhappily.

"Yeah, it leaves a bad taste in my mouth," Leo agreed. "And I can't even see Aura!"

"This was once a holy place. It has been poisoned and twisted from its original purpose," Pikachu said, noting how strongly his sword's charge seemed to be reacting to their surroundings. "Just like Yamatorochi's lair, one cannot help but feel a sense of wrongness and corruption in the air."

"Manaphy…why did you let all this happen?" Ash wondered out loud. "You were supposed to protect this temple. It was your home…your responsibility…"

There was a crackling noise, and they winced as hidden speakers in the walls came to life with a rather painful screech. _"It still is,"_ Manaphy's voice said. _"I simply interpret my duties a little…_differently_ from how I once did."_

"Manaphy!" Ash cried. "Why are you doing this? I can sense that you aren't a Shadow Pokemon, like the legendary beasts! Why have you thrown your lot in with the Nihilators? They're trying to destroy the world!"

"_I care nothing for this world…what has it ever given me?"_ Manaphy demanded bitterly. _"Everything I cared for was taken from me long ago. Now all that sustains me is the thought of revenge…and once I kill you, Ash, _her_ memory will finally be avenged!"_

"Uh, what the heck is he talking about?" Leo asked in confusion.

"I have absolutely no idea," Ash confessed.

This did not seem to be the answer Manaphy was hoping for. _"You don't even remember that much? Did her life mean nothing to you? You were her friend, and you let her down! Just like you let _me_ down…so you are my friend no more, but my enemy, and I will do to you and your companions what I do to all who oppose me!"_ Ash frowned, not liking the sound of this…or the implication that this was indeed the same Manaphy he had known. But why had he changed so much? And who was the 'her' he was talking about? Though he was starting to get a sinking suspicion…

Sasha's danger-senses flared up just as thick bulkheads slammed into place before and behind them, trapping them in a small portion of corridor. Grates slid open on the walls and water started pouring into the room. _"Now drown! Choke on your sins! I shall enjoy watching you and your friends breathe your last, Ash!"_

"Um, I'm a Water-type," Leo spoke up. "I can breathe underwater."

"And I'm a Ghost-type," Lily said. "I don't need to breathe, period."

There was an awkward pause. _"Um…well…then I'll kill you once the others are dead! You may be able to avoid drowning, but they can't!"_

"Yes they can," Leo said, as he pulled out several small devices that looked like they could be put over a person's mouth. "I thought something like this might happen, so I brought enough Micro Aqualungs for everyone."

"And even if he hadn't, I can just cast the Bubble-Head charm to give everyone magical breathable oxygen bubbles over their heads," Lily said.

There was another, longer pause. _"Er…well…then at least you'll be confined in one place until I can free up enough minions from the fight against your allies to come up here and finish you off! There's no way you can break through those bulkheads!"_

"Then we won't, we'll just portal past them," Lily said, opening a portal leading to the hallway just beyond the bulkheads.

"…_Oh, _come on!_" _Manaphy shrieked in disbelief.

"Everybody out of the water!" Ash said, hopping through the portal as the water rose up to his knees.

"Gladly!" Tiny said, eagerly following his father through the gateway. The others quickly jumped through after him before the water level could reach too high, and Lily sealed the portal behind them before the rising water could flood out into the hallway.

"Well, that was easy," Sasha commented as she vigorously shook herself off, splattering the others with water, much to their displeasure.

"He doesn't seem to be very good at this evil overlord thing, does he?" Pikachu commented.

"_Evil overlord _this_!_" Manaphy yelled furiously.

Sasha tensed, sensing trouble. "Uh-oh."

"Why uh-oh?" Tiny asked. That's when they all heard a great roar and suddenly a tremendous surge of water started rushing towards them from further down the hall. "Oh. That's why."

"_It won't matter if you can get on aqualungs or bubble charms or whatever in time, the force of the current will smash you against the bulkhead and break every bone in your body! Those of you that have bones, anyway,_" Manaphy said as the water rapidly ate up the distance separating it from Team Aurabolt.

_I think not,_ Dawn said, gathering her power and firing an Ice Beam. Taking her cue, Leo joined in, and between the two of them they managed to freeze the water solid before it could reach them, filling the entire hallway before them in a solid mass of ice.

Manaphy swore. _"Oh for the love of…wait, this is still a win for me! You're trapped! If you portal out of there, you'll have to find another way up through the building, and if you smash through that ice, the water behind it will flood in and crush you!"_

"Hmm…" Ash looked at the ceiling. "Yeah, I don't think so. Guys, there's a hallway above this one."

"Right! Let's go!" Lily said, floating upward and phasing through the ceiling. A moment passed and she floated back down, an embarrassed look on her face. "Sorry, I forgot you can't phase through solid objects…"

"No, but we can blast our way through," Pikachu said. "Ash, how thick is it?"

"Not thick enough," Ash said, charging up. The others quickly followed his cue, and they fired a Flash Cannon, Thunderbolt, Bubblebeam, Psycho Cut, Hidden Power, Shadow Ball, and Ice Beam at the ceiling at the same time. The resulting explosion punched through the ceiling and shook the hallway, causing some debris to fall as the smoke cleared and revealed a large hole above them.

"That should do the trick," Sasha said.

They heard a crack and glanced at the ice wall, which had also been affected by the explosion. Hairline fractures were forming in its surface, and streams of water were starting to leak out of it, streams that were steadily growing larger. "Uh-oh," Leo said. "Time to book it!"

"Alley-oop!" Ash said, grabbing Tiny and fling him through the hole in the ceiling.

"Wheeee!" the Larvitar cried.

"Me next! Me next!" Leo said eagerly.

Ash grimaced. "Well, if I have to…" With a grunt, he managed to pick up Leo and, with some effort, throw him up after Tiny. "Now it's…" He paused when he saw Sasha looking plaintively at him. "Oh come on, you too?"

"There's nobody else strong enough to throw me that far," the Absol said.

"Fine…" Ash picked up Sasha and hurled her through the ceiling, then jumped up after her, springing off the walls to get enough height to pass through the hole.

_Master, I shall convey us both upwards,_ Dawn said.

Pikachu blanched. "Uh, no, that's okay Dawn, Ash can throw me-"

_I really must insist,_ the ninja said, grabbing Pikachu rather…intimately…and Bouncing upwards, her powerful leg muscles propelling them to safety.

Only seconds after they were gone, the ice wall shattered, and the water filled the corridor. They quickly sealed the hole up with Ice Beam to keep the water from flooding the new hallway, and then took a moment to catch their breath after their latest death-defying stunt, ignoring Manaphy's screams of fury and rather vulgar curses. "You know, the Manaphy I remember wouldn't have used that kind of language," Ash said loudly.

"_The Manaphy you knew was a baby freshly hatched from an egg! I've done a lot of growing up in the last thousand years!"_ Manaphy snapped back, confirming without a doubt he was the one Ash had known…much to the former human's dismay.

"You know, maturity isn't measured by your temper or ability to use lots of curse words, but by how well you can keep a level head and act in a responsible manner," Leo said. Everyone looked at him in astonishment. "Why are you all looking at me like that?"

"Er…sorry. It's just…" Pikachu trailed off.

"Not something we ever thought we'd hear you say," Sasha said.

Leo frowned. "Hey! What's that supposed to mean?"

"Yeah! What's that supposed to mean?" Lily seconded. The others sweatdropped.

Ash glanced around. "Hey, I remember this place!" he said in surprise, recognizing the room they were in. They were standing in an antechamber with what was left of a beautifully polished marble floor and walls covered in defaced carvings with a broken tablet standing in the middle of the room. Behind them and past a colonnade and short staircase, the antechamber opened up into a grand space that had once been filled with gardens and beautiful flowing aqueducts and fountains, but was now as barren and dead and choked with machinery and vaguely corrupted water as everywhere else they had seen so far in the temple. "This is the entrance to the chamber where the Sea Crown is kept! And…" He paused, scanning ahead of him with his Aura-sight. "That's exactly where we have to go…where Manaphy is!"

"How convenient and not the least bit contrived that we'd wind up right here rather than having to fight our way to this point or survive all sorts of other booby traps and ambushes and the like!" Leo said cheerfully.

Pikachu sighed. "Yeah…hooray for another deus ex machina…"

_Why do you complain, Master? It makes our task easier,_ Dawn said.

"I know that, but…it just aggravates me for some reason," Pikachu said. "The world shouldn't work like this…"

"But it does, and it's beneficial to us, so I see no problem with it," Sasha said.

"Except that I can't help wondering what'll happen when our luck finally runs out…" Pikachu said morosely.

"Stop being such a sourPersian and help me out here," Ash said, tapping one of the wall panels. "There's a door here, but I can't figure out how to open it."

"_Is that so? Allow me to give you a hand!"_ Manaphy said. Ash jumped back as the paint on the wall started peeling away, revealing a pair of metal shutters sealed vertically.

"Well, that was nice of him," Tiny said.

"Everyone, quickly, out of the way!" Sasha cried in alarm, scrambling away from the shutters. The others started and quickly heeded her warning as the shutters slid apart, revealing a vaulted hallway beyond it…

And the thousands of gallons of water streaking right towards them, blasting out of the doorway in a tremendous surge of power that would have sent all of them flying if they had still been standing in its path. "Whoa! That was a close one," Pikachu said.

"We barely got out of the way in time. Thank you for alerting us, Sasha," Lily thanked the Absol gratefully.

Sasha shrugged. "It's what I do."

Dawn and Leo froze the water with Ice Beams, creating a giant plume of ice that was very pretty but also blocked the doorway, something Ash intended to remedy. "Okay, now that this is frozen, we just need to break the ice and we can be on our way," Ash said, charging up an Aura Sphere.

Pikachu frowned as he powered up his cheek sacs. "I can't help feeling like we're forgetting something, though…"

They blasted the ice in unison, shattering it…and soon found out what they were forgetting when even more water gushed out of the hallway. They quickly froze it up again. _"Ahahahahaha! Let's see you find a way around _this_ one!"_ Manaphy taunted.

Ash frowned. "This could be a problem…"

"I don't suppose there's another way around this?" Lily asked.

Ash scanned the area with his eyes closed. "Not according to my Aura-sight."

"Well, maybe we could…I dunno, swim up it somehow?" Tiny asked. "Using those aqualungs or bubble-whatevers Lily can cast?"

Leo shook his head. "No way, we'd need to be some kind of wicked-fast fish Pokemon to manage that. I couldn't do it even if I were in top shape, the current's way too strong!"

"Then for once, it looks like I may be more prepared than you, Leo," Pikachu said triumphantly as he rummaged in his knapsack and withdrew a sphere.

_What is that?_ Dawn asked.

"It's a Drought Orb, my very last one. It can evaporate water or lava in a dungeon," Pikachu explained. "So it should have the power to get rid of this water trap."

"…That's brilliant! I can't believe I didn't think of that!" Leo said in astonishment.

"Neither can I," Lily said.

Ash snapped his fingers. "Oh yeah, I forgot we even had those things…we haven't used stuff like that in a while. Wonder why."

"It doesn't really matter, so long as we make use of it now that we've got the chance," Pikachu said. "Break the ice again, and I'll use the Orb."

"Right! Everyone, let's do this again!" Ash said, preparing another Aura Sphere.

They blasted the ice, shattering it and allowing the water to flow through once more. Pikachu hurled the Drought Orb into the stream. There was a brilliant flash of light…

And then the water was gone. There wasn't even a puddle left to mark where it had once been. _"What? NOOOOO! How did you do that?"_ Manaphy shrieked.

"Good job, Pikachu!" Ash said.

"Dude, that was awesome!" Leo said.

_Very well done, Master,_ Dawn said.

Pikachu smirked. "Well, being the clearest-headed of us all does have its advantages."

"I do not detect any danger ahead, other than that which lies above us…Manaphy and whoever is with him," Sasha said.

"Me neither. That means the way is clear," Ash said. "Come on, let's get to him and find out what's really going on here!"

They raced down the hallway and up a curving staircase at its end. They did not encounter any further opposition on the way…which was more than a little ominous, as they found themselves wondering what sorts of trials might be waiting for them at their destination. After climbing what Leo swore was at least two hundred steps—he compulsively counted them, it was one of his 'things'—they at last reached their goal: the temple's command center, the heart of Samiya. It was a vast spherical chamber with ornate shafts periodically carved into its sides in an interchanging pattern with a pool of water filling the bottom and a pillar rising from the center with a broad platform that had a low ridged wall ringing the edge and a bridge extending from it to the entryway they were standing in, a door set halfway up the side of the chamber. Large holographic screens and windows filled the air, depicting events going on throughout the temple as well as things such as structural damage, engine and shield capacity, and other critical operations data. The floor of the platform was littered with consoles monned by Phione, who turned in alarm when they saw Team Aurabolt had managed to penetrate their inner sanctum. In the middle of the platform, atop a small dais guarded by a Walrein and an Azumarill and surrounded by a physics-defying pillar of water flowing from a tube descending from the ceiling, was a tiered structure shaped like a spiky-edge wedding cake with several dozen long, beautiful, and ornately carved blue crystals jutting out from its layers in rows. It was none other than the Sea Crown they had heard so much about. On top of the Crown, nestled between three crystals, was a swiveling captain's chair…

And in that chair was Manaphy. The mutated Seafaring Pokemon grinned sinisterly as Team Aurabolt crossed the bridge towards him. "Ash…while I was hoping you wouldn't get this far, I must admit that I'm rather looking forward to our confrontation. I've wanted to kill you for a long, _long_ time now…and now; at last, I will get my chance! You will pay, finally, for letting _her_ die!"

"Why does he keep harping on about that? Who does he think you 'let' die?" Pikachu asked, getting rather fed up by the corrupted Sea Prince's ravings.

"He has to be wrong! There's no way you'd ever let anybody die, right Daddy?" Tiny asked. Ash clenched his fists, a memory flashing through his mind…

_Please…don't die…I'm so sorry…_

Manaphy clenched his flipper. "Daddy…you call him 'Daddy?'"

"Yeah…because he hatched me from my egg," Tiny said. "I know he's not my birth daddy…but I don't care, because he's raised me better than my 'real' father ever could!"

"But considering his real father is a traitor and triple agent who sold out his best friends, that's not exactly hard…" Leo said.

Manaphy started laughing mirthlessly. "What a coincidence! You know, once upon a time, I too called someone who was not my birth parent my mother. She hatched me from my egg, and loved me and cared for me and meant the whole world to me. She was a better mother than my true parent, Kyogre, ever could have been.

"And then she died!" Manaphy shouted, eyes flashing with rage as he pointed a flipper at Ash, who flinched at the truth of his statement. "You let May Maple, my Mama, die! She trusted you to protect her! She thought you were her friend, just like I did! But because of her association with you, because you were allied with that monster Lord Null, she was killed by the legendary birds! _She died because of you!"_

"Manaphy…I…" Ash stammered, overwhelmed by guilt.

_How does he know of what happened one thousand years ago?_ Dawn wondered.

"Hey, that's not what happened!" Leo protested. "I think…I mean, not according to the memories Briney showed us, anyway…"

"That's right; Ash was never allied with Lord Null! Null just…spared him…and his loved ones…for a reason we've yet to figure out…" Lily said uneasily.

"If May hadn't been with Ash, she would have been killed anyway, by Annihilation destroying the planet!" Pikachu said. "It's because she was friends with Ash that Null spared her…and because those birdbrains leaped to conclusions that she got killed! If you should be angry at anyone, it's them, not Ash!"

"Oh, I'll deal with them soon enough…" Manaphy said coldly. "But though Mama died at their talons…it doesn't change the fact that Ash did nothing to stop it! She trusted him to protect her, and he let her die!"

"…But Ash was human, and his Pokémon had been taken away," Sasha said. "How was he supposed to fight the legendary birds? There was nothing he could have done but run."

"No," Ash whispered as another flicker of memory asserted itself in his mind. "He's right. There _was_ something I could have done. It was my fault."

The others looked at him in confusion. "What are you talking about?" Lily asked.

Ash sighed. "A few months before the big tournament started and Annihilation had yet to do anything major, back when we thought it was just another criminal organization…I was approached by an acquaintance of mine named Riley. He was an Aura Guardian. He recognized that, even back then, I had the power of Aura within me. He told me that the world was soon going to be in danger unlike any before, and that the Aura Guardians would need everyone they could get to fight it. They needed…the Chosen One. Me. Riley offered to take me to Aura Guardian headquarters and train me to be ready for the coming battle…but in the process, I would have to give up any hope of competing in the tournament and fulfilling my dreams of becoming a Pokémon Master. I would have to leave my friends and family behind, with the chance that I might never see them again, depending on how the impending confrontation went. If he had asked me a few years earlier, I would have gone with him right away. But…" He grimaced. "At that point…I'd saved the world so many times, fought other people's battles so often, had to put my own dreams and ambitions on hold so many times that…that I didn't want any part of it. Just once, I didn't want the fate of the world to depend on me. I didn't want to solve somebody else's problem for the umpteenth time, I didn't want the lives and freedom of billions of people riding on my shoulders, I just…I didn't want any of it. So I told Riley no." He paused for a moment to catch his breath and allow the full impact of his words to set in. "A few weeks later, I heard that every known or suspected Aura Guardian had been killed, and the place long thought to be their stronghold had been destroyed. I tried to alleviate my guilt at the time by trying to convince myself that there's no way I could have stopped it if I had been there…but after Lord Null spared my friends because of their association with me, I couldn't help wondering if maybe, just maybe, he would have let the Aura Guardians live too if I had been one of them. And if I had been with the Aura Guardians, if I had trained with them to gain control over a power that I had up to that point actively ignored…I would have been able to save my friends. I would have been able to fend off the birds. So…in a way, Manaphy's absolutely right to say it's my fault that May, his foster mother, died."

"That's right," Manaphy snarled. "It was."

"…Dude," Leo said finally.

"N-no…that can't be!" Tiny protested, shocked.

"Wait. Wait. This can't be right," Pikachu said incredulously. "You turned your back on someone in need. You, Ash Thunderblade, my brother and best friend and Aura Guardian-in-training, refused to save the world, refused to do anything but pursue your vain and selfish goals? That…that doesn't sound anything like you!"

"That's because I'm a Lucario now, with a genetically ingrained sense of honor and duty," Ash said morosely. "Back then, I was a human. We didn't have those. We didn't have a _lot_ of things. I think I'm only just scratching the surface of how different the me of today and the me of back then were. I'm not sure I really know…just what kind of person I was anymore…"

"You were a coward and a traitor," Manaphy sneered. "Who turned his back on his friends and on his duty…and those who cared for him paid the price for it!"

"And what about you, huh?" Leo asked, trying to get off this unpleasant subject. "You're a Legendary Pokémon! It's your job to protect the world and its people, but now you're working for the guys who want to destroy it! You're an even bigger traitor!"

"I am only a traitor because I was betrayed first!" Manaphy shouted.

Ash blinked, snapping out of his funk. "Huh?"

_What are you talking about?_ Dawn asked.

"Because Null took pity on you, you were spared the worst of the violence. You did not have to see close-up the faces of the people Annihilation killed," Manaphy said, working up into a full-on rant. "You did not see the seas boil, or hear the screams of Water Pokémon all over the world as they were brutally slaughtered and cooked to death! But I did. I heard all of it…their wails of anguish, their pleas for mercy, and their prayers to _me_ to save them! And I could do _nothing!_ The Temple wasn't fast enough, there wasn't room for enough people, our own water started to be tainted despite my best efforts to purify it…in the end, I couldn't save anyone." He sagged in despair. "And then I started praying too…to Lugia. To my birth mother, Kyogre. To Arceus himself, begging someone, anyone, to save us! But nobody helped us. Nobody saved us. We were abandoned by the greater gods. The shields failed, and we all died in agony at the bottom of the ocean."

"But…you got better," Pikachu said after a moment, managing to find his voice after hearing the traumatic tale. "The Savior repaired the planet, he brought everyone back-"

"He didn't come fast enough!" Manaphy yelled angrily, banging his fists on the arms of his chair. "He didn't save us from dying; he just gave us new life! While that's miraculous and wonderful in its own right, it doesn't change the fact that nobody came to rescue us until it was too late! That nobody came to rescue…to rescue Mama…" He shuddered. "That was the first great betrayal. That nobody cared enough to save us. Not until it was too late. Our struggles and suffering are mere trivialities to the Guardians."

"That's not true!" Ash protested.

"There's a Guardian here on Earth now, here to try and stop you guys from opening the door under Treasure Town!" Pikachu said.

"Oh really? And why isn't this Guardian doing that now?" Manaphy asked skeptically.

"Er…well…there are extenuating circumstances…" Ash said lamely.

Manaphy snorted. "Of course there are. That's what they _always_ say." As they exchanged uncertain looks, he continued his story. "When I heard that everyone was being reincarnated as Pokémon, I was able to hope again, believing that I could find Mama again, that the connection between our hearts would let us recognize each other no matter what new form she wore.

"I searched for a thousand years. I never found her."

"Perhaps you were not looking at the right place or time?" Sasha said awkwardly.

"Yeah, there's this Combusken living in Battlus now named May Maple…maybe she's the reincarnation of your Mama?" Tiny suggested.

Ash nodded. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure she's _that_ May!"

Manaphy snorted. "Please, you expect me to believe a lie as obvious as that?"

"But it isn't a lie!" Pikachu protested.

"You are in the company of the traitor Ash, who let my mother die! Why should I possibly believe anything you have to say? You're only trying to convince me not to kill you!" Manaphy accused.

"Well…yes, there is that, but-" Lily started.

"But nothing! Besides, I checked her out a few years ago, and our hearts did not resonate. She is not the reincarnation of my mother!" Manaphy declared. Ash frowned, certain for some reason that the twisted Prince of the Sea was wrong. "I spent a millennium searching for my mother, becoming more obsessed and forsaking more of my duties in the process. My servants and companions left me one by one, until I was all alone in Samiya save for my doting children, who never left my side." The Phione smiled happily at this. "I received a number of warnings from the elder deities, but I ignored them. I no longer harbored any place in my heart for mortals, after all, they were not my mother and they did not love me, so why should I love them? And none of the other legends offered to help me in my search, or locate Mama's soul wherever it was and arrange for it to be reincarnated, so why should I do _them_ any favors either? That was the second great betrayal…that nobody save my children chose to help me in my quest. Nobody at all."

"That's really selfish," said a disgusted Tiny.

"Actually, isn't that how you viewed the world for a while? You know, before we opened your heart?" Leo asked.

"…No," Tiny denied.

"The final straw came quite some time ago when my idiot and neglectful mother Kyogre got into yet another petty fight with her moronic nemesis/on-and-off boyfriend Groudon," Manaphy continued. "As I'm sure you know, a few centuries ago the two of them had a destructive battle that destroyed a significant part of a continent and killed millions of people, resulting in their titles being stripped from them and their imprisonment in the bowels of the earth and the bottom of the ocean."

Ash and Pikachu nodded. "We know, we fought both of them when they tried to break free a few months ago," Pikachu said.

"What does that have to do with you?" Sasha asked.

At this, Manaphy actually looked a little embarrassed and regretful. "When my mother and her not-quite-paramour were fighting, I happened to be nearby, continuing my endless search for Mama. As the battle worsened, a village that worshipped me prayed to me for assistance, to either stop the fighting or to rescue them from destruction. I did neither, and they were killed when Groudon tripped and landed on them due to Kyogre spitting in his eye."

They stared at him in horror. "And you accused _me_ of neglecting my duties and friends?" Ash shouted.

_Disgusting,_ Dawn sneered.

"Why would you do something like that? You were their god! It was your charge to protect them!" Sasha said angrily.

"How dare you accuse Ash of betraying the trust of his friends when you did something as awful as that?" Pikachu demanded.

"It wasn't my fault!" Manaphy insisted. "I didn't think they were in any real danger, I was sure that Rayquaza would show up soon and stop the fighting like he usually did. But he didn't, and they destroyed the village! If anything, it's Rayquaza and the others who are really to blame, considering they've allowed Groudon and Kyogre to keep on feuding and causing unnatural disasters this long without consequence! But the first time I really screw up, instead of giving me a pat on the wrist like they did to everyone else, _especially_ Groudon and Kyogre, they threw the book at me!"

"I think you're understating how terrible the offense you committed was," Pikachu said coolly, having lost all sympathy for Manaphy whatsoever.

"And after all, Groudon and Kyogre were punished too!" Lily said.

"Yes, _this_ time! After being let off all those other times with little more than a warning and getting beaten up a little!" Manaphy snapped. "But all I do is screw up once by doing _nothing_, and they come down on me like a stack of bricks! I got a punishment almost as bad as Groudon and Kyogre's, even though I didn't cause _any_ destruction and wasn't responsible for any major loss of life! I was banished from the Temple and stripped of my title, just like my mother, though at least I was allowed to roam the seas freely rather than be imprisoned like her. While I admit I was in the wrong, wasn't giving me a punishment almost as harsh as Groudon and Kyogre's rather unfair and bigoted, given my crime wasn't nearly as heinous as theirs, and my record, while admittedly spotty, was still much cleaner than both of theirs?" He kept raving before anyone could answer him. "Just as Heatran became the new master of land and Lugia the deity of the ocean, Lugia's son Silver, who had once been my best friend, was to take my place as Prince of the Sea in Samiya once he was old and mature enough to handle the responsibility. And I? I was set adrift in the ceaseless currents, alone and friendless, abandoned by all save for my dear children…and that was the third great betrayal. Those last few I had thought I could count on turned on me and gave me a punishment that far outweighed my sins."

"That is debatable," Sasha said dryly.

"You were kicked out…and yet here you are now, sitting pretty," Leo said.

"With a bunch of new friends, too," Pikachu said. "How'd that happen, then?"

"And what happened to Silver? Or Lugia?" Ash asked, getting a sudden feeling of dread.

Manaphy grinned cruelly. "Funny you should mention them…after my exile; I wandered the ocean for what seemed like eternity, searching not just for Mama…but for a chance at revenge. One day, a couple of months ago, I finally got my chance. Oblivion's Shadow approached me and gave me the opportunity of a lifetime. He said that if I joined forces with him and helped him to capture Lugia and his family; he would not only put me back on my throne, but also give me a shot at you…_and_ grant me vengeance against all the others who had wronged me; my birth mother Kyogre, the elemental birds who killed Mama, my so-called 'friends' who usurped me! It was a tempting offer, but I still had enough sense to refuse…until he promised me he could give me Mama back. Naturally, after that, I had no choice but to accept."

"You idiot! He was lying to you, probably!" Leo said.

"Was he? Oblivion's Shadow is very powerful, and knows a thing or two about reincarnating souls…isn't that right, Ash?" Manaphy asked. The Lucario fidgeted unhappily. "Though I admit there's a very good chance that he _is_ lying and just made that promise to use me, the fact that I've gotten so much out of working for him already is still rather satisfactory. I had my revenge on Lugia and Silver by luring them into a trap set by Hunter J, who captured them and delivered them to Oblivion's Shadow to be turned into Shadow Pokemon!"

Ash gasped in horror. "You allowed them to be captured and turned into Shadow Pokemon? You bastard!" A wellspring of rage surged up in him, filling him with so much hatred that he almost lost it. Startled by his intense feelings, he desperately fought to regain control of his emotions. He had thought that only Oblivion's Shadow could make him feel this way. But…what Manaphy had done to the Lugias…to the group of legendary Pokemon that, strangely, Ash had always felt a strong kinship with…

It made him angry. VERY angry.

Ash wasn't the only one. "You sold them out to J?" Tiny shrieked in fury.

"Not only that, but I helped her capture Kyogre by freeing my mother from her prison…then luring _her_ into a trap!" Manaphy said gleefully. "Rather than killing her or turning her into a Shadow Pokemon, her will was bound to mine by the ancient magic of the Blue Orb, giving me her power…which, really, is more than enough payback for her being such a neglectful parent who dumped my egg in the ocean for someone else to take care of every time I reincarnate while she goes off to be a nuisance or fight Groudon."

"…While I can almost sympathize, since I don't have the best of mothers either, that was completely uncalled for and unforgivable!" Lily said angrily.

"Oh, so if _you_ had the chance to bend Bellum to your will and force her to do whatever you wanted, you wouldn't take it?" Manaphy asked.

"No, I certainly would not!" Lily said angrily.

"Maybe you'd feel differently if you'd gone through the same things I did!" Manaphy said angrily.

They stared at him incredulously. "…Uh, hello? Lily's been tortured and abused by her mom since day one. All yours did was pay little to no attention to you," Leo said slowly.

"Or died, if you count May," Pikachu said. Ash winced.

"At least she was _there!_" Manaphy retorted.

Lily gave him a disgusted look, as did everyone else. "Yes, she was…she was always there, waiting for a chance to torment me and crush my self-esteem at the drop of a hat, usually mine. If it weren't for the fact that I would not wish my mother on anyone else, I would happily switch parents with you if I had the chance and you wanted the attention that badly, I'm fairly certain parental abuse trumps parental neglect!" the witch shouted.

"Well now she'll never do either to me, because she'll be mine to control forever, thanks to the power of the Blue Orb!" Manaphy said, the sphere glowing in his flipper. "So now I just need to kill you, and wait for Oblivion's Shadow to be through with the legendary birds so that I can kill _them_, and then my revenge will be complete…and my Mama will at long last be returned to me!"

_Doesn't Oblivion's Shadow want Ash alive?_ Dawn asked.

"He tried to kill Ash back in Treasure Town, so apparently not," Pikachu said.

"Manaphy's probably got one of those soul collector thingies running somewhere so he can capture Ash's spirit once he dies to deliver to the big boss," Leo guessed.

"That's right, I do…and I will revel in knowing that your soul will be his to play with for all eternity, recompense for all the suffering you've put me through, and your failure to protect Mama!" Manaphy said.

"Manaphy, you're out of your mind!" Ash snapped, deciding enough was enough. "Do you really think May will want anything to do with you after what you've become? After all the people you've hurt and killed, after all the horrible things you've done?"

"Of course she will! A true mother loves her child no matter what, unlike Kyogre or that bitch Bellum!" Manaphy said stubbornly. "Mama loved me before, and she'll love me now, despite all that's changed between now and then!"

"…You know, I'd say he's delusional, but he's got a point about that mother thing," Leo admitted reluctantly.

"I would probably love my children no matter what they did or who they became," Sasha acknowledged. "However, if they crossed certain lines…I would kill them, but I would love them in spite of that, and feel regret for having to do so."

"…That's kind of twisted, Sasha," said a disturbed Pikachu.

The Absol shrugged. "It is how things are where I come from."

_My mother would do the same thing if I broke too many of our rules and became someone like Paul, or Manaphy,_ Dawn said. _It would be done out of love and mercy, just as Sasha said, but it would be done all the same._ Pikachu grimaced, not exactly happy with this line of discussion.

Lily sighed unhappily. "I do wish I had a mother who loved me…"

"I'm pretty sure my Mommy loves me…even though we've never actually met," Tiny said. "What with me being an egg at the time. She fought to the death to protect me, though, which means she loves me, right?"

"Yeah, definitely," Leo assured him. "If the memories we saw when we were inside your heart are anything to go by, anyway." Tiny looked mollified at this.

Ash frowned in thought, wondering if Manaphy had a point. Would his mother—not just Delia Thunderblade, but his human mother—still love him even if he became a monster? Even if the darkness in his heart overwhelmed him? Would she forgive him no matter what sorts of things he did?

He knew at once that she would. His mothers, both of them—or perhaps just one of them, since he was fairly certain his current mother was the reincarnation of his past one—had had a heart too big to hate anyone. She might even have found the capability to feel pity for someone like Manaphy, not disgust. Would the May Ash had known, whom Manaphy was so obsessed with, have felt the same way for her erstwhile child? He felt with a strange certainty that she might have. However…

That did not excuse Manaphy's actions in the slightest. It made him pitiable, almost pathetic, but he was no less a monster for what he had done in his single-minded quest to find her, and he decided to say as much. "Manaphy," he spoke up. "I'm sorry about May. You're right, I should have done more to protect her. I should have fought back, I should have mastered the power of Aura, and I shouldn't have let her die."

"That's right, you shouldn't have!" Manaphy snarled.

"But no matter how much you blame me for everything that's happened to you since then, the only person who's really responsible is _you_, Manaphy," Ash said, causing the former legendary to bristle with rage. "You chose to forsake your duties. You chose to abandon your followers when they needed you most. You chose to betray the entire planet and the few people who still trusted and believed in you, selling out your friends and your own mother to the Nihilators. You can blame me for all of that if you want, but that won't change the fact that in the end, it was your decisions that led to this, not mine!"

"I wouldn't have made all those decisions if Mama hadn't died! So it is your fault!" Manaphy insisted.

"No, it's yours! You could have chosen to let her go and move on without her. You could have chosen to be a good deity and a good protector of the seas! Instead, you wallowed in your anger and resentment until it consumed you, making something almost as bad as a Shadow Pokemon!" Ash snapped.

"None of that would have happened if I had found her! And I couldn't find her because you let her die!" Manaphy shrieked.

"No, Manaphy! May's been right in front of you this whole time, and you didn't even notice!" Ash retorted. "You claimed that the May we met in Battlus wasn't your Mama. You're wrong! I recognized her as the reincarnation of my old friend almost at once! While she's admittedly a little different from the girl we both remember, at her heart she's still none other than the May from our past!"

Manaphy recoiled. "What? But…but if that's the case, then why…why didn't…"

"Why couldn't you sense her? Why you didn't feel a connection to her heart?" Ash asked. "It's simple, Manaphy. Because May isn't the one who's changed to the point that you couldn't recognize her…it's you. Your heart has changed. You are no longer the adorable child she raised and cared for. You've become a selfish, spoiled brat incapable of accepting the blame for your own mistakes or atoning for them. If she could recognize you, she might still find it in her to love and forgive you…but due to how much you've changed, how many sins you've committed? There's no way she'll _ever_ remember you or see you as anyone other than a psychotic monchild unable to stop chasing a memory."

The Phione gasped. Manaphy's jaw dropped. "Well said, Ash!" Pikachu said.

"Yeah, that's telling him!" Leo said.

"You…you…" Manaphy quivered with rage. "If I've changed…it's _all because of you!"_ His eyes and the Blue Orb flashed, and his antenna parted and started glowing pink. Pink energy bolts shot out from their tips and struck Team Aurabolt, causing them to gasp and stagger, their eyes turning blue…all of them, that is, except for a puzzled Sasha and Dawn, who didn't feel a thing.

"Whoa, what a rush…huh? Why am I holding a sword?" Pikachu asked in confusion, yelping as the blade emitted a blast of electricity that made him drop the weapon.

"Ugh…why do I feel so slow and heavy all of a sudden?" Leo asked. He blinked. "And what's all this weird stuff in front of my eyes? Ugh…too much information…"

"How did I get so short?" Tiny asked.

"Am I…flying? Whoa…" Lily said. "And what's this stuff growing from the back of my head? And where did my limbs go?"

Ash wailed and fell on his face. "Ow, my nose…wait, since when do I have a nose? Or limbs? Or fur? Or…skin? This is…very peculiar…"

Sasha and Dawn exchanged puzzled looks. "What just happened?" the Absol asked.

_I…do not know,_ Dawn said. _Master?_

"Yes, Dawn?" Leo said.

_I was talking to Master, not you, _Dawn said curtly.

"Huh? But I _am_ your Master," Leo said in confusion. He paused, and then stared at Pikachu. "Wait a minute. What am I doing all the way over there?"

"What am _I_ doing all the way over there?" Pikachu asked right back.

Everyone stared at each other for a few seconds. Then they started screaming. "You're me!" Leo screamed at Pikachu.

"_You're_ me!" Pikachu shouted right back.

"I'm Tiny?" Tiny cried.

"I'm Lily!" Lily gasped.

"And I appear to be Ash," Ash said, trying to get up, only to fall flat on his face again.

"Er…yes, you are," said the dumbfounded Sasha. "We're all aware of that."

"No, you're not!" Manaphy cackled evilly. "You see, I just used my special attack, Heart Swap! It allows me to switch the minds of any Pokémon I wish! Now Leo is Pikachu, Pikachu is Leo, Tiny is Lily, Lily is Ash, and _Ash_ is Tiny…and you two girls don't seem to be affected at all. Why is that?"

_It must have been a Psychic move_, Dawn realized. _Sasha and I are immune to those because of our Dark-type attributes!_

"That's wonderful for you girls, but what about us?" Tiny cried as he drifted past. "I'm _dead!_ Or undead! And have no idea how to control myself! Oh, and I'm a girl."

"And I'm a boy! And mortal!" Lily moaned in despair. "Ugh…is _this_ what it feels like to be alive? I feel like my spirit is trapped in a horrible fleshy prison, with so many bizarre and _disgusting_ sensations and urges overwhelming me…how do you stand it?"

"…It's not _that_ bad," Ash said defensively.

"You didn't seem to mind _me_ being a mortal," Leo said, offended.

"That's because I never knew what it felt like to be one until now! Ohhhh, this is so dreadful!" Lily moaned as she tried to get up and fell back to the ground again. "And I can't even stand up! Is this what it feels like to be constrained by 'gravity?' But it's even more limiting than I imagined! How can you possibly bear it?"

"We manage, somehow," Pikachu said with a frown.

Manaphy giggled sadistically. "Now that I've swapped your bodies around, you're completely at my mercy! You have no idea how to use the powers of your new forms, so are almost completely defenseless! Ash especially…since I've put him in the body most vulnerable to my attacks!"

"That's a fairly clever strategy," Sasha said.

_Other than the fact that you didn't account for us,_ Dawn said.

"…Shut up," Manaphy said petulantly.

"Heeeelp! I can't stop flying!" Tiny wailed as he floated past. "Lily, how do you make this look so easy?"

"How do you all make _walking_ look so easy?" Lily asked as she again failed to stand up. "So many interlocking parts and moving pieces…how does it keep from breaking down? It would take only the smallest of malfunctions to keep from working altogether!"

"There's something else you haven't accounted for, Manaphy," Ash said, concentrating and causing his Larvitar body to burst into blue flames. "Even if I'm more vulnerable to your attacks, Tiny has Aura just like I do, so I'm far from defenseless! Additionally, Heart Swap only lasts a few minutes at most, so we just need to outwait you and we'll be back to normal in no time!"

"Ah, but now _you're_ not accounting for something!" Manaphy said triumphantly. "The Blue Orb has augmented my powers, and as such the duration of my Heart Swap technique has been extended considerably…more than enough time for me to kill you!"

"…Well, crap," Ash said.

"Aha, that's where you're wrong!" Leo said. "Fortunately, I was prepared for just such an incident! After the time Brodie stole Ash's identity, I decided to construct a body switcher-backer in case something similar ever happened again. Pikachu, if you'll please take it out? It should be somewhere in my…er, your shell. You can't miss it."

"Um, okay," Pikachu said, retracting his arms and head and rummaging about in his borrowed shell. "Wow, there sure is a lot of stuff in here…how do you fit it all? Oh, is this it?" he asked, popping back out and holding up a device.

"No, that's my quantum actuator," Leo said.

Pikachu tried again. "What about this?" he asked, holding up another device.

"That's my photon debugger," Leo said.

"This?" Pikachu asked, holding up yet another device.

"That's my sonic screwdiver," Leo said.

"This?" Pikachu asked, holding up still another device.

"That's my nose-hair clipper," Leo said.

"…Leo, you don't have any nose hairs," Pikachu said.

"No, but I might someday," Leo said. Pikachu facepalmed.

_This may take a while…_ Dawn said wearily.

"Fortunately, I too was prepared for something like this," Lily said. "Tiny, if you would take out my spellbook, please? There's an incantation in there that can reverse this. Just give it to me and I can change us all back to normal."

"Okay," Tiny said. "Uh, one problem. How do I take your hat off?"

"With my…er, your hair, of course," Lily said.

"Ah. Right." Tiny concentrated. His borrowed hair flailed wildly about and smacked him in the face. "Ow. That stings…"

The others groaned. "This may take a while…" Sasha murmured.

"Which is time I don't intend to give you!" Manaphy said as he rose off his throne and floated up the water column. "Matt, Shelly, kids, take care of them! Ash…you're all mine!" His eyes, the Blue Orb, and the crystals of the Sea Crown glowed.

There was a rumbling sound and the noise of rushing water, and suddenly what looked like tentacles made of water burst out of the shafts in the walls, flailing about wildly. One lashed out, striking the bridge and sending it plummeting in pieces to the pool below, trapping everyone on the platform. Another tentacle shot towards Ash. He tried to use his swift reflexes to jump out of the way…only to realize, much to his dismay, that Tiny didn't have those reflexes or speed, so wound up getting hit full-on by the tendril, sending him flying off the platform, where another tentacle caught him and started constricting him. "Ackphhbbllth! Help!" he shouted, spitting out water as the living fluid tried to force itself down his throat.

"Ash!" the others shouted.

"Daddy! Don't worry, I'll save you!" Tiny cried, focusing his power…

And causing a fireball to explode in his face. "Ow…"

"Hold on, we'll be right there!" Pikachu said, dropping whatever gizmo he'd just pulled out and grabbing Thunder Fang off the ground. Instead of electrocuting him, the blade's crackling energies subsided, recognizing his soul as its master.

Leo made a face, looking at Pikachu enviously. "Aw mon, how come I never look that cool when _I'm_ holding a sword? I mean, I'm looking cool with it now, but I'm not me, I mean you're me, so…er…yeah…never mind."

"I don't supposed somebody could lend me a…er…what do you call these things on the end of your limbs again?" Lily asked.

_Paws?_ Dawn suggested.

"Yes, those," Lily said.

"You won't have any paws left after we're through with you!" Shelly said as she and Matt came down off the dais.

"…That doesn't make much sense," said Sasha.

"Yeah, that's a pretty lousy pre-battle one-liner," Leo agreed.

"I don't have any paws right now, does that count?" Tiny asked.

"And I'd be better off without these things," Lily said, wiggling her digits. "These 'extremities' things are so…odd…"

"Oh…well…how about this? 'We'll drown you in our dark power!'" Shelly said.

"A little better, but still not that good," Leo said.

"It is also rather offensive to Dark-types," Sasha said.

_Or those who use dark power but aren't particularly evil,_ Dawn said.

Shelly sweatdropped. "Geez, tough room."

Matt sighed in exasperation. "Look, can we just fight already?"

"Yes, would you? Your arguing is ruining my enjoyment at watching Ash squirm!" Manaphy said.

"Feel free to keep arguing," Ash said, wriggling to try and swim out of the tendril holding him. "I don't mind. Really."

"Right! Engaging Hyper Mode!" Shelly said, throwing a capsule full of Shadow into her mouth. Matt did the same. They shuddered and cried out in pain as black Auras surged up around them. Shelly's blubber stiffened and reshaped itself into raw muscle. Her blue and white coloration changed to black and red. Spines grew from her back and tail and claws formed on her flippers. Her tusks grew longer and black. Her sea-foam shaped mane shifted to resemble tsunamis. As for Matt, the Azumaril's fur also turned black, though he kept the white parts. His eyes turned red and sharp fangs sprouted from his gums. His long ears hardened and curved to resemble horns. Claws sprouted from his paws and spikes formed on his ball-shaped tail. "RAAAAHH!" the Walrein bellowed.

"Now you'll see what horrors lurk in the ocean depths!" Matt boasted.

"Now see, that's a good line there, you really should take notes from your partner," Leo said to Shelly, causing her and everyone else to facefault.

"It feels so strange hearing something like that come out of my mouth…" Pikachu said.

"If I could get my spellbook, I could make it so you won't have to worry about that anymore," Lily said.

"I'd love to give it to you," Tiny said. "But I can't even see you right now!" He had somehow gotten himself turned around so he was facing away from the others and had no idea how to turn back. "I could really use some help…"

"That'll have to wait until we deal with these guys," Leo said as Shelly, Matt, and the Phione advanced towards them.

"Ash! Hang on, we just need to take care of these guys and we'll be right with you!" Pikachu yelled, instinctively trying to build up a charge…only to pass gas. He flushed as Leo snickered. "I really don't like this body."

"Sure thing. I'll just wait here. No need to hurry," Ash grumbled sarcastically.

"He's right, there's no need to hurry," Manaphy sneered. "Especially since I'm going to draw this out slow and painfully! This has been a long time coming, and I want to enjoy every minute of it!"

"Yeah, that's another sign that you're not a very good supervillain, someone who actually knew what he was doing would just kill their enemies now and get it over with rather than giving them the opportunity to rally their strength and defeat him in an utterly predictable manner that the bad guy never seems to see coming," Leo said.

"Leo, don't give him any ideas," Pikachu said.

"Sorry, just thought I should point it out," Leo said.

"Oh, just shut up and die already!" Manaphy snapped.

And so the battle began.

…

At that moment, elsewhere in the fortress…

_He's gonna kill me. He's gonna kill me. He's gonna kill me,_ Archie thought to himself desperately as he spun down the corridors of the refitted Temple of the Sea.

_I've got to get out of here._ "Where the hell did they put those escape pods?" he asked out loud. Then he saw a sign saying, 'Escape pods this way.' "Oh, there they are." He started down the hallway the sign indicated…

And a bulkhead slammed down, blocking his path. "Oh shit!" He turned around…

And found Briney waiting for him. "Oh _shit._"

"Hello, Archibald," Briney said as he floated forward, telekinetically bringing another bulkhead down behind them to seal them in. "It's been a long time."

"B-Briney!" Archie squealed, losing control of his bowels. (Wait, did Starmie have bowels? Eh, never mind.) "It, um, it's great to see you too. How've you been?"

Briney's eyes flashed, and the Starmie was suddenly jerked into the air and bashed back and forth between the walls. "A lot better than you're going to be when I'm done."

"Briney, look, this is all a misunderstanding," Archie gasped as he used Recover to heal himself. "I know you _think_ you know what happened that night, but the truth is-"

"I know what the truth is, Archie," Briney interrupted him coldly. "I pulled it from the skulls of your old friends, just like I'm pulling it from your head right now. I've seen every second of that night through each of your eyes, relived it so many times that sometimes I wonder if I might have been there all along. I know what you did to Peeko. I know the part all of you played in it. I know how much you _enjoyed _it. But you know what I'm going to enjoy doing, Archie?"

"Wh-what?" Archie whispered.

"Doing to you what I did to the others." His eyes flashed, and Archie screamed as Briney's formidable Psychic powers smashed into his mind, ripping and tearing him apart from within. No secret was hidden from him, no memory was safe. Briney smashed and he tore and he shattered everything he got his mental claws on, immersing himself fully in the muck making up the Nihilator's consciousness and burning it to ashes with the white-hot fury that gave him purpose.

"N-no!" Archie gasped, managing to cling to a sliver of sanity as Briney shattered his mind. "I won't…I won't let you kill me! I won't go down like the others did!" With a scream of pain and panic and desperation, he unleashed his own Psychic power, which, while nowhere near as formidable as Briney's, was enough to at least drive the Metang back briefly and return his mind to him. "I'LL KILL YOU!" His gem core glowed with power and fired a Hyper Beam at Briney.

The Metang didn't even bother shielding himself. Charging power into his fist, he punched the Hyper Beam full-on with Meteor Mash, splintering the beam and causing it to ravage the room around him as his claw smashed into Archie's core, shattering it and sending the Starmie flying into the wall. Archie quivered and used Recover as he tried to float back off the ground, causing his core to mend itself…

Only for Briney to drive his fist into it again and again, cracking and fracturing it repeatedly beneath his powerful blows. Archie screamed and tried everything he could to get Briney off of him, using a blast of Psychic (it washed harmlessly off of Briney), shooting a Confuse Ray (Briney's will was too focused to be swayed or befuddled by any such cheap tricks), firing Swift stars (they bounced off his metal skin), and finally whirling frantically in place with Rapid Spin. Briney grabbed one of his spinning limbs and casually ripped it off, causing blood to spatter the wall and his face. As Archie shrieked in pain, Briney grabbed each subsequent limb and tore it off in turn, until Archie was nothing more than a broken jewel with ten purple stumps sprouting from it. "You…you think this will kill me?" Archie gasped as Briney backed off for a moment, allowing the Starmie to slide to the ground. "I can…I can heal myself! Just like this!" His broken jewel flashed, and he regenerated all of his limbs and core using Recover. "You can't kill me! I'll just heal everything you do to me!"

"Good," Briney said, punching Archie's core so hard it shattered again. "That means I can just keep waling on you as much as I like until you can't Recover anymore. And then, once that happens…"

"N-no!" Archie gasped in horror.

"Oh, yes…" Briney said, extending a claw to tear off Archie's limbs again…

When someone else intervened. "Briney!"

Briney stiffened. "Hmm?" The Metang's shadow darkened and elongated, splaying itself against the wall and solidifying to reveal Darkrai. "Darkrai! What are you doing here?"

"Trying to stop you from making a terrible mistake! Or have you forgotten our agreement?" the dark god rumbled ominously.

Briney hesitated. "I…"

"You promised me that in return for being allowed to speak to Peeko again, you wouldn't kill Archie! You told me that your love for her was stronger than your thirst for revenge!" Darkrai said angrily.

"I-it is!" Briney stammered.

"Then what are you doing to Archie? Did I not make the penalty for breaking our contract very clear? If you kill him, I will make sure you never see Peeko again, in this or any other life!" Darkrai snarled.

Briney paused. "I…w-well…it's…"

"Y…you can't kill me? You can't…you can't kill me?" Archie asked incredulously. "Ah…aha…ahaha! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!" he laughed so hard that he shook. "After all these years of waiting and running and fearing…of hiding from you, of hearing reports of what you did to the others and to every Nihilator you came across in your search for me, of having nightmares of what you would do when you finally caught up to me…after all that, you've forfeited your right to kill me? Ahahahaha! That's too rich! The great and terrible Briney brought low by a promise? Wait'll the guys hear about this!"

"Shut up, you!" Briney snapped, drawing back his fist.

"Briney!" Darkrai shouted again.

"I'm not going to kill him!" Briney yelled.

"Oh really? Then what exactly _are_ you going to do, hmm?" Darkrai asked.

"I'm…" Briney paused, his resolve faltering. What _was_ he going to do to Archie? "I'm…" He blinked, looking from Darkrai to Archie and back again, his thoughts uncharacteristically muddled and confused. He had promised not to kill Archie. He did not intend to break that promise. But…but he couldn't just let him go, could he? How could he possibly look at himself in the mirror again if he did something like that?

But…the promise…there was no way around that.

Or was there?

"No," Briney said, inspiration dawning on him. "I'm not going to kill him. I promised that I wouldn't."

Darkrai raised an eyebrow. "But?"

"I promised that I wouldn't kill him," Briney said as he slowly turned towards Archie. The Starmie froze in terror, getting the sudden sinking suspicion that he had been flipped out of the hot water and into the frying pan. "I never said _anything_ about making him wish that he were dead."

Darkrai blinked in surprise. "You…you're going to…" Abruptly, he burst into laughter. "Ahahahahaha! That's brilliant! The sort of thing I would expect from one of my servants! You're right; you never did say anything about that, did you? Well, if you're positive what you have in mind will keep him alive—albeit in the most ambiguous use of the term—and that it won't haunt your conscience later, by all means, go right ahead. Would you mind if I watch? I may have a few suggestions. And besides, it'll give me a few ideas for what _I'm_ going to do to Oblivion's Shadow once my wife is free."

"I'm not used to an audience…but feel free to stay, if that's what you want. You're the god of death, darkness, dire dreams, the dark side of the moon, and deserts. Who am I to tell you what to do?" Briney asked as Archie started trembling in horror.

"You forgot cigarettes," Darkrai said.

"…What?" Briney asked.

"I'm the god of cigarettes now. Long story, I'll tell you another time," Darkrai said.

Briney shrugged. "Fine with me." He turned back to Archie and cracked his knuckles. "Now…where were we?"

"N-no…please! Don't do this! We can work something out!" Archie screamed desperately as Briney loomed over him.

"No," Briney said. "I've had enough of making deals. I've been chasing you for far too long, and now that I have you…" His eye narrowed. "You're all mine."

If the bulkheads had not been soundproof, the Nihilators and pirates battling nearby would have been distracted from their fighting by bloodcurdling screams and booming laughter the likes of which they only heard in their darkest nightmares.

Archie's suffering had only just begun.

…

Meanwhile, in Pokémon Square…

Since the majority of the townspeople were unable to join their friends and neighbors in the front lines or battling their way through the tunnels of Mt. Blaze, the rest of the Pokémon in Pokémon Square were doing everything else they could think of to participate in the war effort. A number of Pokémon had volunteered to help the Nurse Joys tend to the many wounded soldiers and rescued prisoners being beamed in. Some were assisting Scotty and the Draconian tacticians coordinate battle plans. Others were helping to soothe the terrified and, in more than a few cases, completely broken insane refugees acclimate themselves to their new environment. More still were preparing meals and temporary residences for the rescued Pokémon to stay in while they recovered from their terrible ordeal. And those who could not do any of that sat in front of their televisions and watched the news footage from the battlefront, desperate for any information as to the welfare of the Pokémon they cared about.

The members of the Thunderblade household were no different. Delia had left to help out at the infirmary in Sky Tower—the wards in the Pokémon Center having quickly been filled to overflowing by injured soldiers and prisoners—so family friend Sally the Seviper had been left in charge of the kids. Normally this would have been a somewhat onerous experience, considering the children in question, but the younglings—just like Sally herself—were too fixated on the news report to even think about causing a ruckus.

"Aaaand we're back! This is Valerie Ogasawara of DNN (Draconian News Network) reporting live from the Mt. Blaze battlefield as the war between our Empire's finest and the foul barbarian horde rages on!" a pretty Kirlia wearing combat fatigues said cheerfully as Pokémon fought and died and exploded in ludicrous gibs behind her. "The horde has been putting up quite a fight, but as you can see, they seem to be no match for our troops! There's a reason we're the most powerful nation in the world, after all."

"Why isn't she mentioning our people? We're helping too," Junior whined.

"No we're not, we're sitting here," Sapphire said.

"I mean Grandpa and Uncle Aaron and everyone else is helping. She isn't saying anything about them!" the Donphan said indignantly.

"Or about Zeke!" Sally hissed anxiously from where she was coiled up in rather distressed knots on the couch.

As if to prove them wrong, Valerie said, "However, while our brave mons and womons in uniform are fighting for the glory of His Excellency Rayquaza out here, I'm sure all of you are wondering how the battalions we've sent into the enemy stronghold with the assistance of our allies in Pokémon Square have been up to! While we were unable to persuade the Generals to allow us to send any reporters or cameras along with the strike teams to give you viewers an idea of the sort of action they're encountering inside the mountain, I'm pleased to report that the latest intelligence indicates that four of the groups our allied forces have dispatched have completed their missions and are on their way home. The squad led by Team GSC has rescued the womon held in hellish bondage in the breeding pits, Team Constrictor's squad has liberated the brainwashed and indoctrinated children the barbarians were trying to mold into young soldiers, Team Flame has freed the political prisoners in the red-hot volcanic dungeons, and Team…what was it? Yes, Team Razor Wind has managed to save the slaves. Casualties are at a minimum for our forces, and so far it looks like the viewers back home have little to worry about where their loved ones on the front are concerned!"

Sally sighed in relief. "Oh, thank goodnesss…that meansss Zeke isss okay!"

"She said casualties are at a minimum, not nonexistent," Collette pointed out. "But yeah, you're probably right to be relieved. I think Zeke will be okay."

"And sssoon he'll be back here, where he belongsss," Sally hissed. "Oh, I ssshould never have let him go off to war…I worry ssso much when he's out in the field! I jussst want to wrap my coilsss around him and never let him go again!"

"It's his job to go out there and kick barbarian butt," Pichu reminded her. "It's what he does, just like our dad and Uncle Aaron."

"And he's good at what he does," Sapphire added. "You know that, Sally. You shouldn't be worrying about him all the time."

"When you're in love with sssomeone, you can do nothing _but _worry when the one you care for isss putting hisss life on the line," Sally said sadly. "But at leassst he'll be home sssoon, and thisss war will be over, and we can go pack to planning our wedding."

"Until the big siege which will threaten to destroy Pokémon Square at some point in the near future," Junior said.

Sally sighed. "Yeah, until that…it'sss alwaysss one thing after another, isssn't it?"

"Hey, Matthias, why so quiet? You haven't said anything for a while now," Pichu said to his newest sibling.

The Rattata fidgeted. "Miss Valerie said that they've managed to save most of the people the barbarians were holding captive. Do you…do you think they managed to rescue my family, too? My sisters and parents and other relatives?"

"That's a good question," Pichu admitted. "If they have, then that means they should be in the Pokémon Center or Draconian infirmary soon enough. Do you want to go look?"

"Kind of. But…" Matthias sighed. "I'm kind of scared. Scared that we were too late, and they're all dead. Or, if they're still alive…what kind of condition they might be in." He shuddered. "I heard your—_our_—parents talking about the breeding pits. If any of my female relatives were still alive, then that's probably where they would have ended up…being constantly raped and forced to give birth to new barbarians. My youngest sister is only a couple of years old. Apparently, that's not too young for those monsters. If they're still alive, will they be sane enough to function again? Or even to recognize me?"

"…I don't know," Pichu said.

"We can only hope that they will be…and if not at first, that we'll be able to help them recover," Collette said. She smiled. "And if they don't…you know you'll always have a home here, right?"

Matthias managed a smile. "Yeah. Thanks, guys."

"But…if they're alive and get better…where will you go?" Sapphire asked. "Will you stay here in town? Or go back to the wilds?"

"What? Matthias, leave? No, he would never do that…right?" Junior asked worriedly.

"…That's something I've asked myself more than once," Matthias admitted. "And the problem is…I don't really know the answer to that, either. I don't think I could possibly go back out there after all the time I've spent here. Here in Pokémon Square, you always know where your next meal is coming from, you don't have to worry about starving to death or dying from sickness or being eaten by predators or constantly having to worry that the next Pokémon you see might try to kill you for some reason. After living with you guys for so long, I find myself wondering why so many Pokémon think it's stupid to live in cities. Cities are safe. Safer than out _there_, anyway."

"We've wondered why ssso many Pokémon reject our way of living, too," Sally said. "But they probably wonder the sssame thing about usss. Why we sssurround ourssselvesss by technology and luxxxury, rather than doing everything the hard way to make ourssselvesss ssstronger."

"Well, if more of them could see the benefits of living like this, maybe they wouldn't be so against it," Matthias said.

"Then again, maybe not," Collette said. "Lots of people are afraid of change, and that's what most of our society is based on…a change from the old ways. Progress, building and discovering and creating something new. For better or worse, that disturbs the established way things, and not everyone is okay with that."

"I may have felt that way once," Matthias admitted. "Not anymore. And…if any of my family is still alive, I hope they'll come to feel that way too. After all, without the power or technology of civilization, they would still be trapped in barbarian prisons, right?"

"Yep," Sapphire said. "But if they don't feel that way, and if for some reason you can't reconcile with them-"

"What? Why would something like that happen?" the Rattata asked in alarm.

"You've changed a lot since you came to Pokémon Square, little brother. You don't think they'll notice that?" Pichu said. "They might not like how different you are from the Matthias they remember."

"…I hadn't thought of that," Matthias said somewhat worriedly. "Do you really think that could be a problem?"

"Maybe, maybe not," Collette said.

"But no matter what, whether you stay here or leave…you'll always be family to us, Matthias," Junior said.

Matthias found himself struggling not to cry. "Thank you," he gasped. "Thank you so much. You have no idea how much that means to me." He paused. "Although…that brings up a question I've been meaning to ask you guys."

"What is it?" Sapphire squeaked.

"Um…how exactly did _you_ become part of this family? What happened to your real parents?" Matthias asked.

"What are you talking about? Mom and Dad _are_ our real parents," Junior said.

"Er, I mean, your birth parents. You know…the ones who laid your eggs?" Matthias quickly amended.

"Ohhh. Them," Junior said offhandedly.

"We don't really think about them," Collette said.

"Really? Why not?" Matthias asked.

"Because we've never met them. We don't even remember them from our gestation period like some Pokémon fresh from the egg do," Junior said. "Mom and Dad are the only parents we've ever had, or ever want."

"…I see…" Matthias murmured.

"But if you want to know how we came to become Thunderblades…Mom and Dad found our eggs, one by one, and brought us home," Collette said. "Several months ago, a Togetic couple was driven from their nest by a bunch of Redwing's thugs. They had to flee as quickly as they could, and were only able to carry two eggs with them. The rest they had no choice but to abandon."

"And one of those eggs was you?" Matthias asked.

She nodded. "The birds started eating my siblings, cracking open their shells and feasting upon their underdeveloped forms, until I was the only one left. And then Mom, who had been passing through on her way back from a solo mission—all of her missions are solo ones, she's too solitary to be part of a team due to what happened to her when she was my age—saw what was going on. She killed them all, drenching them with water so their feathers were too heavy for flight and tearing them apart one by one. Seeing that my egg was the only survivor, she searched the area to see if she could find any sign of my parents." Collette shrugged. "To this day, we still don't know what happened to them. They might have fled the continent. Or they may have gotten picked off and eaten by one of Redwing's patrols. I could probably ask Sabrina…but I don't really know if I want to know the answer. Anyway, it soon became a moot point because I hatched while they were still trying to find my parents, and I immediately imprinted on Mom. After that, there was no question of my staying with anyone but her, and since she hung out so often with Ash, and because it was clear to everyone—even me, freshly hatched—how they felt about each other, I decided he was my Dad. As a result, I became informally part of the Thunderblades…though in a legal sense I suppose I'm more of a Waterflower."

"Until Ash and Misty get married, that is," Pichu commented. "Then it'll be official!"

"Yesss, at the sssame time Zeke and I are getting married, if your mother hasss anything to sssay about it," Sally hissed. She sighed. "Won't that be wonderful?"

"Pretty much the same thing happened to me, except I know exactly what happened to my birth mother," Sapphire said. "The Square heard of a barbarian attack on a small community of wild Pokémon near town that we were on good terms with, and Mom was dispatched with some other people to help out. They were able to drive the barbarians off, but too late to save my mother from succumbing to her wounds. She asked Mom to take care of my egg with her last breath, believing I'd have a better chance of living long enough to reach adulthood if I lived inside the walls of Pokémon Square."

"But considering how close you guys have come to getting killed on missions since you formed your team, you have to wonder if she made the right choice," Pichu commented wryly. Collette hit him. "Ow!"

"And what about you, Junior?" Matthias asked.

"One time when Dad and Uncle Pikachu were paying Sabrina a visit at the Hill of the Ancients, she told them to look for an egg on their way back through Great Canyon, and to take care of whatever hatched out of it. Sure enough, they found me, I hatched, and they were stuck with me," Junior said. "When I found out Dad already had a daughter—Collette—I decided Misty was my Mom too, though I didn't understand why she lived with her annoying sisters rather than Dad. Boy, was her face red when I asked her that!"

"We've asked her the same thing more than once," Collette said. "She's never given us a good answer."

"Well, maybe when Asssh finally ssstopsss lying to himssself and proposssesss, they'll move in together," Sally suggested.

"I hope so," Collette said.

"Especially if it means I won't have to live with our Aunts, who keep treating me like a doll and dressing me up and putting makeup on me all the time," Sapphire complained. "I really don't like that."

"But what happened to your birth parents, Junior?" Matthias asked.

Junior shrugged. "Dunno. Don't care. I have Mom and Dad. Why would I ever want any other parents?" Matthias had trouble thinking of a good argument for that.

"And soon we'll be having another little brother! Tiny!" Collette said happily.

"He seemed nice," Sapphire agreed.

"Yeah! Though…it's going to be a little odd if Dad marries Mom _and_ Tiny's mom, wouldn't it?" Junior said.

"Well, do you think she's going to get back together with T-Bone?" Sapphire asked.

"Ugh, after what he's done? I doubt it," Pichu said in disgust.

"I don't know…you can forgive sssomeone many thingsss if you're in love with them," Sally said, clearly thinking of Zeke.

"Such as said someone being a member of the species your species is sworn to be rivals with forever?" Matthias asked.

"No…more like him alwaysss clogging the ssshower drain with hisss fur. It kind of getsss on my nervesss," Sally complained. They sweatdropped.

"Well, no matter how we work out Tiny's living arrangements—or Matthias's, for that matter—it won't change the fact that we're a family, and somehow we'll find a way to make it all work," Pichu said confidently. They all nodded, though Matthias didn't feel quite as certain. He hoped his older 'brother' was right…because he really didn't want to consider the alternative.

"And now, our viewers at home are in for a special treat: an interview with the exalted second-in-command of the Draconian Empire and supreme general of our armed forces, Nuken Shinobu!" Valerie said on the screen, getting their attention. She beckoned to the camera and walked over to Nuken, who was currently occupied brutally mauling a screaming Primeape. "General Shinobu, I'm Valerie Ogasawara of DNN. Do you suppose you could answer a few questions for our audience?"

"I'm a little busy right now," Nuken grunted as he slashed at the Primeape again and again, covering himself in the wailing simian's blood.

Valerie calmly imploded the Primeape's head with Psychic, putting him out of his misery. "Not anymore," she said.

Nuken gave her an annoyed and grudgingly impressed look. "You don't give up easily, do you?"

"A good reporter does whatever it takes to bring the truth to the public. Now, what do _I_ have to do to get a few words out of you?" Valerie asked, extending her microphone.

The Shedinja sighed. "Oh, very well, but make it quick, and be aware that I have the right to refuse any questions I feel touch on matters of national security."

"That's understandable. So, General: as leader of our military and most senior member of the armed forces, what's your expert opinion on the battle? How would you say we're doing?" Valerie asked.

"Fairly well," Nuken said. "While casualties on our side are regrettable but unavoidable, for the most part, the enemy has suffered significantly worse than we have. Since we have them surrounded, cut off from reinforcements, and are bombarding them with constant fire from above, I don't believe they will last much longer."

"It almost sounds as if they don't have a chance," Valerie commented.

"Well, they don't, really," Nuken said.

"Some might say that provoking a fight with a people with fewer resources, lesser-trained soldiers, and a significantly lower level of technological development than ourselves could almost be…unfair, sir," Valerie pressed.

"War is seldom fair, Miss Ogasawara," Nuken replied. "But what you see out here is only half the battle. As you know, we have teams made up of our own forces and warriors from Pokémon Square fighting within Mt. Blaze as we speak, working to liberate political prisoners and slaves, assassinate the so-called 'Monkey King,' and destroy the WMDs these barbarians threaten to unleash upon the continent."

"Ah yes, the WMDs which are our only real justification for taking part in a war that is, to put it as some of your critics have, 'somebody else's problem?'" Valerie asked.

"I would hardly say that, madam. The Devil Golems the barbarians are harboring are a severe danger to the free world, and that's putting aside the fact that the barbarian leader has acquired an artifact that allows him to control Groudon, one of our liege's oldest enemies," Nuken said.

"I don't question the danger they pose, General, or whether or not they exist, as certain other networks might. I believe they're real, just like most of the Empire's citizens do. We have little reason to distrust our leaders, unlike the populace of many other countries. I'm only commenting that their existence is the only explanation the government has released so far as to why we are putting so much effort into helping a small town that is nowhere near any of our territories, in our jurisdiction, under our protection, or has even been a historical ally or trade partner of the Empire up until a few weeks ago. Would you say this is a fair assessment?" Valerie asked.

"I suppose so. What is your point?" Nuken asked warily.

"I'm just wondering—as are a great many of the Empire's citizens—what exactly is so important about this small town," Valerie said. "While we support the war against t the barbarians on ethical, political, and religious grounds, we don't quite understand the significance of Pokémon Square in all this. It is too small to count as a country, and yet we are treating it as an allied nation with all the privileges that entails rather than a city-state to be added to the Empire. Not only that, but the Imperial capital has been moved so it hovers right above the town…almost as if it's trying to protect it."

"It is," Nuken said. "Pokémon Square has many enemies, and as our newest ally it's only common decency to help defend it against them, especially since some of those enemies pose a threat to our own empire."

"You are speaking of course of the terrorist organization called the Nihilators, which intelligence claims not only supplied the WMDs to the barbarians but is also behind a number of other recent disasters worldwide, including a few attempts to overthrow our own beloved god-king?" Valerie asked.

"That is correct," Nuken said. He gave her a suspicious look. "You aren't…_questioning_ their existence, are you? Because we have found plenty of proof regarding their involvement in current affairs."

"Oh no, sir," Valerie said. "As I said, I have no reason to doubt that they're real, even though some of the other countries whom you have informed about the Nihilators' existence are skeptical that they're anything more than a Clefairy tale. As I have said before…we citizens of the Empire have little reason to distrust our leaders. If you say they exist and are a threat to us all, then I believe you."

The Shedinja relaxed somewhat. "Ah. My apologies for questioning your faith, Miss Osagawara. I am rather distrustful by nature due to the nature of my work…so, why do you bring up the Nihilators, then?" Nuken asked.

"Well, in press releases you and your colleagues have gone on the record as stating that the Nihilators seek to destroy Pokémon Square, which is apparently part of the reason we are now allied with them. What I don't understand is…_why_ do the Nihilators wish to destroy Pokémon Square?" Valerie asked.

"They wish to destroy the whole world. What's one small town?" Nuken asked.

"One small town that the government is treating as a nation in its own right, is committing quite a lot of resources to assist, and has even positioned the capital on top of," Valerie pointed out. "Something that the Empire has not done to any of our other allied nations in many years. What is it about Pokémon Square that warrants such extra measures, General? Why are the Nihilators so intent on its destruction, and why are _we_ so determined to keep it out of their hands? I am not saying it's a bad thing to be protecting this town; I just wish to know the reasoning behind it, as would the public. After all, who doesn't want to know what their tax Poké is being spent on?"

"…I am afraid that I cannot disclose that information at this time. It's a matter of national security, and, as I told you, I will not answer any questions that I fear might compromise the safety and wellbeing of our glorious Empire," Nuken said rather stiffly.

"I suppose I should have seen that coming," Valerie said, looking a little disappointed. "I don't suppose you can comment on whether or not this vital intelligence will be revealed to the citizens of the Empire at any point in the near future?"

"No, I can't," Nuken said gruffly. "I'm sorry, but this interview is at an end. I hope I have answered your questions satisfactorily?"

"You have indeed. It was most enlightening," Valerie said politely. "Thank you for your time, General. It was an honor and a pleasure to speak with you."

"Likewise." Nuken turned and fired a Shadow Ball at a Magmar that had been about to incinerate him from behind, punching a hole in its gut.

"There you have it, folks! Straight from the mouthparts of General Shinobu himself! This battle is almost at an end…though the war on terror and world-destroying secret societies are far from over," Valerie said cheerfully as she walked away from the carnage.

The camera zoomed out and the image of Valerie shrank down to occupy the upper-right corner of the screen while the rest was filled by a newsdesk occupied by a Chatot and Pachirisu anchors in sharp dress. "Thanks for that marvelous interview, Valerie," the Chatot said. "I'm sure the other networks are turning green with envy as we speak!"

"Or in the case of the Vulpix channel, red," the Pachirisu commented.

"What's next for you, Valerie? A warzone's a dangerous place for a reporter to spend too much time in," the Chatot said.

"Oh, I can handle myself," Valerie said, seemingly oblivious to a pack of slavering Ambipom charged towards her from behind only to be sent flying by a blast of Psychic. "I intend to stay on the scene to see this thing through to the end…and who knows? I may get a chance at an exclusive with His Excellency himself, who I hear is participating in the battle directly! Or perhaps that steed of his…he seems rather cute."

"Good luck with that, Valerie," the Chatot said. "We're all rooting for you!"

As the image of Valerie was replaced by the DNN logo, the Pachirisu said, "We'll hear more from Valerie and the war effort after the break. Now for the weather!"

As a Castform came on the screen and started describing an almost incomprehensible digital map taking up the background behind him, Collette frowned in thought. "You know, _we_ still don't know why everyone wants to destroy Pokémon Square either…"

"Well, I'm sure they'll tell us sooner or later," Sapphire said optimistically. "I mean, we live here, right? We have a right to know what's so important about our own town!"

"Whatever the town'sss sssecret isss, it'sss sssupposssed to be capable of dessstroying the world," Sally hissed. "I wonder what it isss?"

"Maybe there's a giant head-shaped robot that can transform into the head of an even bigger robot which in turn becomes the head of an even BIGGER robot, like on this one totally awesome anime I've heard of?" Junior suggested.

"Or maybe there's an ancient demon or other giant evil door sealed beneath the town, like in Treasure Town?" Matthias guessed.

"Or, on a similar note, an ancient _good_ being that the Nihilators or whoever fear will ruin their plans to awaken the evil under Treasure Town, so they want it out of the way so nothing can stop that evil's return?" Collette offered.

"Or maybe the town's actually the only entrance to a giant supercomputer taking up the entirety of the planet's interior that's not only capable of controlling the world but is also protecting a giant seed that the great Mother, Mew, is sleeping inside of?" Pichu said.

Everyone stared at him. "…Where did you get _that_ idea from?" Collette asked.

"Internet," Pichu said.

Junior scoffed. "Well, I think we all know _that_ idea's certainly out of the ballpark."

"Yeah, it's way too silly, even for Pokémon Square!" Sapphire agreed.

"Hey! It could be real!" Pichu said defensively.

"Yes…in your dreams! Which aren't real! Implying, therefore, that your idea in turn isn't real…yeah…that sounded better in my head…" Junior said.

"Now, now, it'sss not niccce to mock Pichu'sss idea," Sally said. "It'sss very imaginative…though ultimately rather unlikely."

"Oh, come on!" Pichu protested.

"I think it's plausible," Matthias said.

Pichu gave him a surprised look. "Really?"

The Rattata shrugged. "Sure. After everything else I've seen since coming to town and becoming part of this family, an idea like that seems no more Farfetch'd than anything else. I see no reason it can't be the right one."

Pichu broke into a grin. "Awww, thanks bro. I knew there was a reason you were my favorite brother!"

"I thought Dad was your favorite brother," Collette said.

"Yes, but he's not here now, so Matthias is my favorite until he gets back," Pichu said.

Matthias sweatdropped. "Gee, thanks…"

"You're welcome!" Pichu said brightly. Everyone rolled their eyes.

…

Meanwhile, in Mt. Blaze…

"Say that again?" Keith asked incredulously.

"Your friends from Vientown and Seasonburg are still alive," Goku repeated.

"We know that, we've got teams rescuing the prisoners as we speak-" Elita started.

"Not the townspeople and common Pokémon. I mean your friends…the heroes and Rescue Teams of your towns, whom you believed were killed in the battle. They are still alive, and being held somewhere deep within this very mountain," Goku said.

"What? But that's not possible! They died! They gave their lives so that the rest of us could escape!" Joel cried, his voice thick with guilt and regret.

"But…we never _did_ find their bodies…" Wendy said slowly.

"That's because there wasn't enough left of our towns for there to be any bodies to search for," Sven said.

"They made it look that way so that you would believe your friends were truly dead," Goku said. "After all, the hatred barbarians hold for Rescue Teams, who have thwarted us on so many occasions, is well-known. Why should you think we would have kept them alive for any reason? The fact that we did not kill Allen and Charlie of Team A.C.T. right away probably came as a bit of a shock to you, did it not?"

"But you guys _did_ kill Allen eventually!" Cameron pointed out.

"Because he would not give us the information Gal wanted," Goku said. "And as for Charlie…even some of the barbarians who do not share my view think what Gal did to him is a little excessive. Even among our kind, the Monkey King is a rather terrifying being. But then again, it is the strongest who survive…and sometimes to become strong, you have to do things that others would balk at."

"We're getting off subject," Spenser said. "You say that our friends, the Rescue Teams of Vientown and Seasonburg are alive…and in the same breath remind us that your people would have no reason to keep them prisoner? You're contradicting yourself."

"Not so," Goku said. "You see, we despise your kind…but we also fear you. You are an anomaly to us. You dwell in cities, yet you are not weak, defying our rhetoric and deepest beliefs. You are few, yet small bands of you—even, in exceptional cases, _individuals_—are capable of defeating much larger war parties of barbarians who by all rights should be stronger and capable of overwhelming them. How are you capable of such feats? What is the source of your kind's incredible strength? It was for this reason that Gal wanted us to capture some Rescue Teams and keep them alive…in hopes that he could discover the secret to your power, and use it to increase our own."

"That…actually makes a lot of sense," a stunned Elita said slowly.

"Assuming we believe you, which we don't," Joel said, though the hesitation in his voice indicated otherwise. "What have you figured out? What _is_ the source of our strength?"

Goku smirked. "Do you really need me to tell you that?"

"Seems obvious to me," Keith said. "The reason we're so strong is because we trust each other. You barbarians are always looking for ways to benefit yourselves, so have no problem stabbing each other in the back if you think it'll get you ahead. Pokémon like us, on the other hand, know we can count on each other in a crisis. The bonds of love and friendship tie us together and make us almost unstoppable!"

"That and the fact that we have more advanced training facilities, eat healthier, and have access to more resources and better health care," Cameron said.

"Yeah, that too," Keith said.

Goku nodded. "Gal was not happy when he got answers like that. He has refrained from killing your friends in hopes that he could elicit information he might be capable of using. As such, they are still alive…but not for much longer, if the battle for this mountain keeps raging. If you want to save them before something untoward happens, you will have to trust in me. I know where they are being kept. You will never be able to find them on your own."

"Why should we trust or even believe you?" Sven asked bluntly. "You're a barbarian. The enemy. As Keith said, you'd do anything to get ahead. You could just be tricking us into following you into an ambush!"

"Not only that, but our intelligence never said anything about our friends being alive or being kept hidden anywhere," Joel said.

"That's because their existence is such a well-kept secret that even I was only able to learn of their presence here through a great deal of effort," Goku said. "It is unsurprising that your spies would be unaware of them. No intelligence is perfect, after all."

"While that's true, it still doesn't explain why we should believe you," Cameron said.

Goku shrugged. "Would the names and species of your comrades help? Barlow the Makuhita. Crawford the Budew. Luana the Buneary. Jack the Chatot. Solana the Plusle. Lunick the Minun. Murph the Slowpoke. Percy the Politoed-"

"That doesn't mean anything," Elita snapped, trying not to look as if hearing the names of her lost friends affected her as much as it did. "You could have learned who they were or used to be by any number of means. That doesn't mean you've seen them alive."

Goku shrugged. "This is true. Knowledge of their condition alone is not enough to win your trust. But perhaps you would like to know how it is that I acquired the scarf and badge I now wear?"

"Let me guess, our friends gave them to you as proof that we can trust you?" Joel asked.

Goku shook his head. "Not at all. A few months ago, I was leading a squad that did battle with a Rescue Team from Pokémon Square, Team Aurabolt. You have heard of them?"

"Yeah. Ash and Pikachu Thunderblade. What of it?" Elita asked.

"Wait…you can't have done battle with them! If you had, they would have killed you…wouldn't they?" Keith asked uncertainly.

"They almost did," Goku replied. "They certainly wiped the floor with my mons, despite my best efforts to keep them alive. But, unsurprisingly, the majority of my soldiers ignored my orders in hopes of being the ones to claim the glory of killing a Rescue Team. You can guess how that turned out." Cameron couldn't keep himself from snickering. "In the end, only I was left. Much to my surprise, rather than killing me as I expected them to, they spared my life."

Spenser frowned. "Why would they do that?"

Goku nodded. "That is what I wanted to know then, too. At that point in my life, the concept of mercy was still foreign and alien to me. I could not fathom any reason to let an enemy live after you had defeated them, for if they were allowed to continue drawing breath, would they not have a chance to strike back at you some day? I inquired of them what motives they had for letting me live. Did they seek to take me back to their home as a prisoner, to torture me or make me their slave?"

Sven snorted. "We don't do that sort of thing."

"That is what they said," Goku said. "They told me they had spared me because I was…different from the others. Ash, the Lucario, said that he had seen my Aura, and it did not share the same taint or…well, barbarism that the rest of my squad had possessed. Pikachu the…well, Pikachu said that my actions during the battle, my attempts to keep my mons alive and direct them in smarter and more effective maneuvers indicated that not only did I possess a cleverer mind than my peers, but also had something that was generally looked down upon by my kind: a respect for the lives of others. We are taught from birth to kill to survive, so what use is it to appreciate something that might destroy you? And yet apparently this was something that training and campaigns had been unable to destroy in me, at least not completely. This information came as a bit of a shock to me, as you can imagine, but it also had a ring of truth to it. I had always felt different from the others, but it was not until that moment that I really understood _why_. And with that knowledge came another, less pleasant revelation: now that I was aware why I was different, I could no longer continue to be a barbarian. The actions of my kind no longer seemed compatible with my newfound feelings for life; my view on things did not fit with the desire for war and conquest of the others. I realized that if anyone in Mt. Blaze ever found out that I felt this way, that I harbored these traitorous thoughts in my head, I would be put to death at once. Well aware of this, Ash and Pikachu made me an offer that genuinely shocked me: they asked me if I wanted a place on their team."

"Oh, come on!" Joel exploded. "You can't honestly expect us to believe-"

"Actually, that's not all that implausible," Elita said.

The Dodrio gave the Skarmory a surprised look. "Huh?"

Wendy nodded. "There's a lot of precedence for wild Pokémon, upon being defeated in battle, to be invited to join a Rescue Team. It's called the 'Defeat equals friendship' effect. It's unclear why this takes place, or why a Pokémon who was trying to kill a Rescue Team just a few minutes ago will so happily agree to become part of one, but the best guess is that being beaten gives the defeated Pokemon new respect for their conquerors, and they wish to follow them to gain that sort of strength as well."

Goku nodded. "That certainly sounds a lot like what happened to me. After my defeat, I started seeing everything in a new light, and began to question whether the path my kind had chosen was truly one that would grant us success."

"Has this…'effect' you're talking about been successful on barbarians in the past?" asked the surprised Cameron.

Wendy nodded. "A few times, though not as often as on basic wild Pokémon since the majority of barbarians have more of a militaristic and antisocial psychology due to the way they're brought up which keeps the thought of defection out of their minds."

"But not out of mine, apparently," Goku said.

"But…if they gave you a chance to leave, and you realized that was what you wanted, why didn't you?" asked the confused Keith.

"Two reasons. First, because I did not want to believe that there was no hope for the rest of my kind. I hoped that it was possible that I could inspire change in the ranks, encourage others to see as I did. It was difficult, but I have managed to succeed with these few, the comrades-in-arms you see alongside me." The soldiers behind Goku smirked at this. "And second…because I have a brother, here in Mt. Blaze. He does not feel the way I do, but has been aware of my doubts for some time and has said nothing out of it due to familial loyalty. Out of that same loyalty, I wished to find a way to remove him from the horde. While he aspires to rise higher in the ranks, he's really not cut out for the barbarian lifestyle…albeit more from incompetence than because his heart's not in it. I couldn't possibly leave without him, which is why I was forced to turn Ash and Pikachu's offer down."

"And let me guess, if we give amnesty to you and your friends, you want us to take your brother with us, too?" Sven asked wearily.

"And Ash and Pikachu gave you the scarf and badge you're wearing now as proof that you could be trusted and as a way for you join a Rescue Team should you ever change your mind?" Cameron guessed.

Goku nodded. "Correct on both counts. And since I doubted the Burning Horde would exist for much longer, I thought it prudent to find a way to save my brother and anyone else I could before it was too late. Of course, I knew it might be difficult to gain your trust, so I started searching for something I could use to bargain for our survival…"

"And found out about our friends being held hostage?" Keith asked. Goku nodded.

"Well…I don't know," Joel said finally. "I suppose it doesn't sound that ridiculous a tale when put that way, but…"

"But you still find it difficult to trust me? That is understandable," Goku said. "Fortunately, I was told of another possible way to prove myself. Ash and Pikachu said they'd inform someone called 'Scotty' back in Pokémon Square about me when they returned home so that he would pass the word on to others that I was a potential ally."

"Well, there's an easy way to verify that…" Spenser tapped his badge with his beak. "Scotty, this is Spenser of Team Seasons."

"_Aye, what is it laddie? Have ye finished taking out the barracks?"_ the Abra asked.

"Not just yet. Something's come up," Spenser said. "We've run into a Monferno named Goku that claims to be an acquaintance of Ash and Pikachu. He says he's trying to turn over a new leaf and wants to help us out in return for amnesty for him and a few of his friends. Can he be trusted?"

"_Goku? That name sounds familiar. Hold on…Goku, Goku…ah, here he is. Yes, Team Aurabolt mentioned encountering a fiery blighter by that name a little while back and gave him a scarf and badge and an open offer to defect to our side if he ever got tired of being an evil murderous barbarian scumbag. I dinnae ken why they'd have offered a barbarian of all people something like that, but I trust their judgment, so I suppose they ken what they were doing. And it's not like they haven't recruited blokes they just finished beating the snot out of before, so…"_

"So he can be trusted?" Spenser asked, eyebrow raised in surprise.

"_Aye, I suppose so,"_ Scotty said reluctantly, winning a triumphant grin from Goku. _"What kind of help is he offering, exactly?"_

"He claims that some of the Rescue Teams from our destroyed towns are still alive and in barbarian custody, and is offering to lead us to them," Spenser said.

"_What? They're alive?" _the Operator Rhythmi, who had been listening to the conversation, gasped in astonishment.

"_Well, I suppose it's possible…"_ Linda, the other surviving Operator from Vientown and Seasonburg, murmured to herself.

"_Well, that's some bonnie great news! If this Goku fellow can help ye rescue them, then he's more than earned a spot in Pokémon Square!"_ Scotty said.

"Right. Thanks for the confirmation," Spenser said. He glanced at Goku. "I guess we have a deal, then. You help us save our friends, and you'll get your amnesty."

"And my brother?" Goku asked.

"We'll put out an APB to our forces telling them not to kill the guy should they run into him," Joel said somewhat reluctantly, displeased that they were going to actually have to rely on a barbarian, the enemy.

"Who and what is he?" Elita asked.

"Ignik Firebottom. He's a Monferno like me, but a bit shorter," Goku said. "Ironically, he's my older brother."

Sven frowned. "...Wait, your brother... he's Ignik Firebottom?"

"Yes. Is that a problem?" Goku asked.

"He's wanted in Pokémon Square for various crimes against the town, specifically against the Thunderblade family. We cannot grant him amnesty," Spenser said.

Goku frowned. "…Oh. Well…how about asylum, then?"

"What, you mean we have to protect and shelter the guy?" Joel asked in disbelief.

"Yes, but it also means he can stand trial for his crimes, but the death sentence would be waived," Elita said.

"It had better be, or else you'll get no help from me now or in the future," Goku warned.

Cameron sighed. "We'll see what we can do."

"And keep an eye out for him, then," Wendy said.

"Now, if we can get going?" Sven asked anxiously. "If our friends _are_ alive, then I want to find them before whoever's guarding them decides to kill them and make a run for it."

"Certainly," Goku said. "If you will follow me?"

The Monferno led them out of the room, his mons keeping around him for protection. They and the Draconian soldiers eyed each other warily. They might have been on the same side, but that didn't mean they trusted each other. It was too soon for that. "Just so you know, if this _is_ a trap and you try to double-cross us…" Joel warned Goku.

"I understand perfectly, and assure you once more this isn't a trap," Goku said. "However, if you don't mind, I need to make a quick stop on our way there."

"Oh?" Elita asked suspiciously. "And why is that?"

"There's a…friend I need to pick up. Much like my brother, I couldn't possibly leave without her," Goku said. The Rescue Teams eyed each other uncertainly, but saw no reason to challenge Goku's proposal…yet.

A few minutes after they were long gone, a panting Ignik Firebottom ran into the abandoned barracks. "Brother! Brother! I've changed my mind, whatever you've got planned, I want in! I don't want to…huh?" He blinked and stared at the bodies littering the floor. He swore loudly. "Oh, Monkey King's flaming balls, I'm too late!" He swallowed. "Which means I'd better find him…and _fast_…before the invaders find me, or worse, the other barbarians…" Worry gnawing at his gut, he fled the room.

As Team Seasons, Team Tops, and their new allies ventured deeper into the mountain, the battle for T-Bone raged on in another corner of the volcano. Team Rocket Grunts clashed against Imperial soldiers while Teams Snagem, Frontier, Ebony, and LaMancha faced off against the Go-Rock Quads and the enigmatic Team Quantum.

"I refuse to allow people like you to decide my destiny!" Wes snarled, hurling a Shadow Ball at the Celebi called Paradox. "I've fought long and hard for the right to control my own life, and I won't let anyone else lay claim to my actions again!"

Paradox dodged out of the way of the Shadow Ball, leaves swirling around her as she conjured Magical Leaves. "Not even if that destiny is a long and happy one, where you and Rui can settle down at last without ever having to fear for your lives or fight against shadows of your past again?" She hurled the leaves at Wes.

The Espeon fired Swift stars, destroying the projectiles. "If such a future exists, then I want it to be one I create for Rui and me, not something handed to me on a platter!" Wes said angrily, eyes flashing briefly.

Rui exploded from the ground behind Paradox and flung orbs of Hidden Power at the pink fairy. Paradox's green eyes flashed, and the orbs were flung back at Rui by Psychic. The Umbreon's form blurred as she used Double-Team to try and evade the attack…only for the spheres to unerringly seek out and strike the true Rui, causing her to gasp in pain as she was knocked to the ground. "How did you do that?"

"I have control over time. I slowed down my perception of time enough to see which of your illusions was the real thing," Paradox said.

"Not bad," Rui admitted. "Too bad it won't protect you from THIS!" The rings on her body lit up and released a blinding Flash of light. Wes closed his eyes just in time and charged towards Paradox, using his Psychic senses to tell him where she was. He lunged towards her with Zen Headbutt…

And crashed right into Rui. "Ow! Wes, what was that for?" she complained.

Wes blinked in surprise. "Huh? But…but she was right in front of me!"

"I was," the Celebi said as she reappeared from a green portal. "Precisely two milliseconds go. Then I wasn't, but now I'm back."

"You traveled through time to dodge my attack?" Wes asked incredulously.

"Yes," Paradox said as the Future Sight Wes had summoned a few seconds ago appeared behind her and shot towards her…only for another, greener Future Sight that the Celebi had conjured up even earlier to smash into it.

"That's cheating!" Rui protested.

"No, I just play by a different set of rules than you," Paradox said as green portals opened above Wes and Rui and a pair of AncientPower spheres shot down at them. Wes and Rui's eyes glowed as they used Psychic in unison, grabbing the energy balls and flinging them at Paradox, who conjured up a pair of green portals that they vanished into, and…

"Wait a second…did you just send those AncientPower balls back in time?" Wes asked.

"Yes," Paradox said.

"Where we caught them and flung them at you, causing you to send them back in time, where we caught them and flung them at you, causing you to send them back in time, and…er…" Rui's eyes crossed.

"But…but then where did they come from in the first place?" Wes demanded.

"Here," Paradox said, conjuring a pair of AncientPower spheres and flinging them into another set of green portals. "See? No ontological paradox here…or _is_ there?"

"This is why I hate time travelers!" Wes snarled in frustration

"Me too!" Rui said, kicking at the dirt and sending a cloud of it towards Paradox in a Sand Attack. "Now, Wes!"

The Espeon's gem flashed and fired a super-effective Signal Beam through the cloud towards Paradox, who opened a portal to catch it. But while she was doing that, Rui dashed around it and launched at the Celebi with Take Down, hoping to hit her while she was distracted…

Only to be knocked away by an AncientPower. "Where did that come from?"

"You mean when," Paradox corrected, conjuring another sphere and throwing it into a time portal.

"Will you stop doing that?" Wes demanded.

"No," Paradox said.

"Won't all this rapid consecutive time warping unravel the fabric of the space-time continuum or something?" Rui asked.

"Normally it would, but I have a license," Paradox said, throwing an AncientPower into a portal before conjuring Magical Leaves and flinging them at the couple.

Wes grabbed the leaves with Psychic and flung them aside. "Rui, watch out for that AncientPower, it could show up anytime now! Literally!"

"Right!" Rui said, Digging underground to try and avoid the attack, when and wherever it appeared from. In the meantime, Wes used Double Team then fired Hyper Beams from all of his doubles at Paradox. The Celebi floated out of the way and opened a time portal, causing the beams to vanish into them…

And then the floor exploded as orange energy beams burst through them, one of them flinging a screaming Umbreon out from underground. "Rui!" Wes cried.

"I apologize for the harm I am causing you," Paradox said as she crossed her arms, a dozen AncientPower spheres forming around her. "I have nothing but the utmost respect and admiration for what you've done and what you _will_ do in the future."

"Save your praise," Wes snarled as he nudged the groaning Rui back to her feet. "The future hasn't happened yet!"

"Maybe not to you, but from my perspective?" A dozen portals opened around her. "It already has." She flung the energy spheres into the portals.

Getting a bad feeling, Wes and Rui tried to run. This turned out to be a mistake, because no matter where they went, a portal opened to spew an energy ball at them. Whenever they dodged or tried to, another portal opened up and spat an energy ball at the exact moment they were dodging, not only hitting them but knocking them right back into the attack they had just avoided. They were bashed and battered and blasted and beaten down from all angles, the barrage of time-warped attacks smashing them into the ground, then the ceiling, then back again. No matter what they did, they could not escape the attacks.

But in spite of the overwhelming odds, Wes refused to give up. "Ugh…then…what are you saying? That our choices make no difference? That the future is predetermined? That nothing we do has any meaning?" he snarled as he staggered back to his feet.

"On the contrary," Paradox said as she hovered towards them. She gestured, and much to Wes's surprise, his and Rui's wounds healed. Was the Celebi using Recover, or some weird time-traveling trick to rewind their bodies to before they had been injured? "There are many futures. I have seen the ones where you succeed and the ones where you fail. I have seen the ones where you and Rui are married, and the ones where you have a falling-out and break up. I have seen the ones where you get a happy ending and the ones where you die alone, an old mon full of regrets. All these futures are real, and to me, all of them have already happened, will happen, and are happening right now."

"…I have no idea what you're talking about," Wes moaned in confusion.

"What I am saying is the future is not as set in stone as you seem to think I am saying it is," Paradox explained. "There are many possibilities; some better than others, all of them affected by the actions and choices you mortals who live within time make as you go about your everyday lives. What my team and I seek to do is…'nudge' you in the direction that will lead to the optimal future."

"But it's not a future of our choosing!" Wes protested.

"Of course it is. You're still making all the important choices, we're just subtly manipulating events so that the correct choice is clear to you," Paradox said.

"It still doesn't count!" Wes insisted. "…Does it?"

Paradox shrugged. "I suppose that is a matter of opinion. But no matter how you feel about this, you must believe me: we are only trying to do what we feel is best for you."

"And that's supposed to make me feel better? Most of my life people have tried to force me into doing whatever they want, by one way or another!" Wes snarled. "No matter how 'good' this future of yours may be, I refuse to be a pawn in its creation!"

Paradox smiled kindly. "And how do you know that this emotional reaction isn't exactly what I want from you? That by angering you and making you more strongly assert your individuality and your control over your own destiny, you aren't behaving exactly the way I desire to, the way that will make the path to the perfect future that much clearer?"

Wes blinked, nonplussed by this notion. "That's…I…I don't know…"

"It doesn't matter," Rui said abruptly. "Whether or not our actions and behaviors only further your own plans, we refuse to allow our fate to be shaped by the paws of others."

"And if that attitude is exactly what I want you to feel?" Paradox asked.

"Then we'll keep acting that way anyway. At least we can believe we have the power to change our fate…and sometimes belief is all that matters, isn't it?" Rui asked.

Paradox smiled, looking pleased. "Excellent. That is exactly how I hoped you would feel. But enough of this philosophizing. You desire something concrete to battle, a target for you to prove you control your destiny. I shall serve as that target. Come! Show me that you are worthy of choosing your own fate!"

A portal opened behind them, firing the AncientPower she had discarded earlier. Wes quickly raised a Light Screen, bouncing the sphere towards Rui, who knocked it back at Paradox with Skull Bash. The Celebi grabbed it with Psychic and threw it into a portal. Wes grinned and deflected the AncientPower with a flick of his tail as it exited from a portal behind him. "Be careful what you wish for…because that's exactly what you're gonna get!" He and Rui charged Paradox, intending to prove their futures were their own.

Sparks flew as Zoro and the Grovyle named Crono zigzagged all over the room, clashing their blades against each other and filling the cave with the ringing of steel against…whatever weird metal Crono's sword was made of. It looked as if it left afterimages both in its wake and ahead of it. (Would those be beforeimages, then? Was that even a word?) Crying out, Zoro charged his sword with electricity and swung it at the Grovyle. Crono charged up his own sword with…temporal energy or something and brought it up to meet the Meowth's attack. The blades locked against each other, the two swordsmon pressing against each other with all their might…

And to Zoro's astonishment, the stalemate was broken…in his opponent's favor! Crono knocked Zoro's sword aside and struck him across the chest, cutting him from shoulder to hip. Zoro cried in pain and staggered back, expecting the cold embrace of Darkrai to overtake him…and was puzzled when no blood or guts or anything else of that nature gushed forth from his wound. He looked down and was astonished to find that there was no wound at all, just a rather long scar that looked as if it had been there all his life. Actually…it _felt_ as if it had been there all his life…for some reason, Zoro was suddenly having trouble remembering a moment when he had never not had it. He vaguely recalled Rosa finding it sexy. Admittedly, she found everything about him sexy, but still, something didn't feel right about this. He frowned, focusing on the sword his opponent twirled through the air, at the visual echoes trailing before and after it, at the way it glowed a deep, dark blackish-green that seemed to swallow the light around it. "What _is_ that blade?" he murmured. "What power does it possess?"

"Have you ever heard of déjà-fu?" Crono asked.

Zoro frowned. "You mean the feeling that you've done something before?"

"That's déjà-vu. Deja-fu is something else entirely," Crono said around his twig. "It's a fighting style that manipulates time itself to strike at an opponent. It's like the feeling you've been kicked in the head this way before…or, the way I use it, that you've been cut this way before."

Zoro frowned. "I feel like I've always had this scar…but I got it just now, didn't I?"

"No, you _did_ have it always. Or at least, now you do," Crono said. "My sword cuts through time rather than space. So when I struck you with it, I struck you in every moment in the past _and_ in the future."

"…That's _increible_," Zoro whispered in awe. "How can I learn such a technique?"

"You can't, I'm afraid," Crono said apologetically. "Not unless you were born outside of time or in mid-teleportation. Or if you have a weapon made from some of Dialga's horn shavings, and spend a million years training in its use."

"A million years? Why, you don't look a day over twenty-five!" said the amazed Zoro.

"Twenty-three, actually," Crono said. "And that's because I _am_ twenty-three. I have been for a rather long time, actually."

"…Ah, I see. Your ability to control time has allowed you to stop yourself from aging?" Zoro realized.

"No, I still age, only circularly, with my future flowing into my past. It's a bit like immortality, except that since it's based on temporal mechanics I can shift to any point on my lifeline, meaning I can become younger or older at will. I choose to remain at this point for the sake of convenience," Crono explained.

"I see…" Zoro murmured. "Then why do you not allow yourself to shift to the point where you are a Sceptile, to become even more powerful?"

"While I'm stronger as a Sceptile, the size and counterbalance of my tail makes it more difficult for me to move as quickly with a blade," Crono said. "That, and my girlfriend thinks I'm sexier this way."

"And that would be the pink Celebi, I take it?" Zoro guessed.

Crono nodded. "Yes, she's insatiable. It seems like most pink nigh-omnipotent super-cute deities are. Even when her past and future selves are simultaneously screwing _my_ past and future selves—occasionally in massive orgies only possible through time travel or cloning-she still wants more."

"I know what that's like," Zoro said sympathetically. "It's part of why Rosa and I have more of an 'open' relationship, so she can pursue and dominate other males and give me a chance to catch my breath in between epic lovemaking sessions. Otherwise, I don't know how I would get anything done!"

"Even when you literally have all the time in worlds, it never feels like you have enough," Crono said wistfully. "Huh…we're getting along a lot better than I expected. You don't seem nearly as antagonistic as you were when we were starting out."

"I am a good judge of character, and a swordsmon can learn many things about his opponent when they clash blades," Zoro said. "I sense that you, like myself, have a strong sense of justice, and while I am uncertain of the consequences of what you are doing, I can tell you are resolved to it and believe it to be the right thing to do. That is something I respect, even if I do not agree with your methods." He grinned. "And aside from that…the fact that the blow you landed on me only scarred me rather than killing me tells me you are not evil. If your sword is that powerful, then your cut could have literally erased me from history by killing me while I was still in my _madre's_ womb. But it did not…instead, the wound healed before it could damage me. If you were evil or trying to kill me, you would not have channeled whatever time powers you possess to 'age' the injury so it healed itself before it was wrought. That speaks volumes for your character, in my opinion, though I'm mildly offended that it means you are holding back."

"If I were to use my full power, I could kill you so thoroughly that you had never even been conceived," Crono said. "There are only a handful of people I have ever had to do that to, and all of them deserved it. You do not. You are destined to be one of history's greatest swordsmon, renowned even in the distant era I was born in. Your legend is one of the reasons I chose to take up a sword in the first place."

Zoro perked up at this. "Is that so? Then I do not suppose you could tell me if my country will be liberated at long last from the Espanish during my lifetime…and whether or not it will be my sword that does so?"

"Sorry, but I can't tell you that," Crono said. "I risk changing the timestream if I do."

"But aren't you already changing the timestream, with your presence here?" Zoro asked.

"Perhaps, perhaps not…how do you know that in the future, our involvement in this conflict will not have already been recorded in history, and therefore we had to travel back to this time to make sure things happened as it was written?" Crono asked.

"I don't," Zoro admitted. "And considering you've said you are trying to create a perfect future-which, I suppose you might describe your own future as being?—what you suggest is not impossible. But even if that is the case, and even if you are a self-labeled fan of mine…do you want an autograph, by the way?"

"No thanks, I already have one," Crono said.

"Huh? But I haven't given you one…oh, I see, you have one from a future encounter?" Zoro realized.

"In my past, and your future, yes," Crono said.

Zoro grimaced. "Time travel sounds very confusing."

"To one who's lived outside of time as long as I have, being able to dip into history whenever I choose, living linearly from past to future with no idea of what lies ahead of you or all that could be or has been or might have been is much more confusing," Crono said. "Although I used to live that way, before I joined the Temporal Knights."

"I'd love to hear about how that happened, though I suppose now is not the right time…er, unless you froze time or something so we had enough time?" Zoro asked.

"I'd rather not right now, to be honest," Crono said. "Besides, I already told you the story…or _will_ tell you, from your perspective."

"Oh well…anyway, my point is, even if history already dictates the way things will go, that hasn't happened yet from my perspective, so I see no reason to act any way contrary to my own beliefs, no matter what you might say. While I understand and respect what you are trying to do, that does not mean I will stand by and allow you to do something contrary to my own code of honor! T-Bone must be brought to justice, and I will do everything in my power to make it so, even if it runs the risk of destroying this future you speak of. It sounds callous, but to me your future has not happened yet, so how can I be certain the world we create instead will not be better than the one you seek to make?"

"I can be certain, and it won't be, but I would expect nothing less of a legendary warrior like yourself, and I respect and understand that you could not act in any other way," Crono said. He smirked and raised his sword. "That doesn't change the fact, however, that you're not going to win this fight."

Zoro grinned. "Oh? You're holding back, and can't use any more than what you have now without potentially killing me or cutting me out of history, which I'm fairly certain is something you _don't_ want to do. I, on the other hand, am coming at you with my full power…and I have no reason to restrain myself!"

"That may be true, but my power level even while holding back is still much higher than yours at full strength," Crono countered.

Zoro shrugged, not looking particularly worried. "And that's supposed to mean something to me? I've defeated opponents stronger and more skilled than I before! Albeit, most of them haven't been practicing for over a million years…but regardless, whether I win or lose, this shall be a fight to remember…and in the end, is that not all that matters, for honorable swordsmon such as ourselves?"

Crono nodded, raising his blade. "More and more, you prove yourself to be truly worthy of the reputation that will succeed you…and the destiny which you have not yet fully grasped. Come then, hero of LaMancha! I have desired for eons to match my blade against yours. Show me that this is a dream worth realizing, and that my ambitions are not just a fool's desire for glory!"

"I'd be happy to," Zoro chuckled as he charged up his sword. "Anything for a fan!"

Howling battle cries, they charged at each other, Zoro's blade crackling with golden electricity and Crono's burning with the greenish-darkness of time. Their swords clashed again and again, shockwaves of thunder and temporal energies washing out from the impact. Much like Zoro's fight against Pikachu, this would be a battle for the ages…and the stylish Meowth loved every minute of it.

Edgar and Spite, on the other hand, weren't having nearly as much fun fighting their opponent, the terrifying Dusknoir known as Aeon. Their attacks were the only ones capable of truly damaging the spirit from beyond time and space, but so far he had shrugged off everything they hurled at him, an implacable being as unstoppable and inevitable as entropy itself. His intriguing gauntlets crackling with dark power, the Dusknoir lashed out with Shadow Punch, black shadowy fists outlined in gray auras streaking out towards Team Ebony. Spite quickly phased out of view, and Edgar flapped out of the way, charging up a Shadow Ball he could fling at the phantom appendages, aware from prior experience against Shadow Punch-using opponents that the ghostly fists would not be deterred by mere dodges and keep coming at him until they hit something. He was surprised, then, when the Shadow Punches struck the space that he and his teammate had occupied just seconds ago…and he grunted in pain, feeling as if he had been punched in the gut, while Spite reappeared nearby, gasping. "Wh-what…but those didn't even hit us! How did you…" the Murkrow wheezed.

"They did hit you," Aeon intoned.

"What? No they…" Spite paused, blinking in confusion. For some reason, he very clearly remembered getting hit by the Shadow Punches a few seconds ago…but he hadn't been floating where the Punches had been thrown…except he had been…hadn't he? "What's going on?" he whimpered, getting a headache.

"My Shadow Punches hit you…in the past," Aeon said. "And since they hit you in the past, your future was changed to reflect that."

"…That's unimaginably scary, mon," said the terrified Edgar.

"Then does that mean you can throw an attack so far back in time it could kill us and we'd cease to exist or something?" Spite asked.

"Yes," Aeon said. "But I won't."

"Oh, good," Edgar said in relief.

"I'll just fight you until you're no longer capable of fighting back," Aeon said.

The duo sweatdropped. "What happened to us being able to change the future if we believed in ourselves enough?" Spite demanded.

"Belief is nothing without the strength to carry it out. Show me that you possess that strength!" Aeon said, his right fist crackling with blue-white super-cold energy as he flung an Ice Punch…at thin air. Edgar and Spite exchanged puzzled looks, shrugged, and fired twin Dark Pulses at the Dusknoir. A purple ball formed between Aeon's hands and he fired a Dark Pulse of his own, the three beams made of interlocking purple circles colliding and exploding in a blast that threw up a huge smoke cloud and obscured Aeon.

Spite rapidly fired Shadow Balls into the smoke cloud while Edgar spread his wings, light-blue energy outlining them as he flapped them down, flinging blue crescents at the cloud, blowing it away with Defog. The smoke cleared, revealing Aeon unharmed. The fact that he wasn't scratched wasn't surprising, given how resilient he had been so far, but they had expected him to have disappeared while he was hidden from view. Wasn't that what most enigmatic super-powerful opponents did when they were engulfed by a smoke cloud, disappear than reappear behind you while you were blindly firing at where they had last been? "What are you still doing there?" Spite asked, voicing this thought.

"This," Aeon said, floating back and opening the mouth on his stomach…

And causing Edgar and Spite to almost defecate themselves and lose their sanity in terror at what they saw within the Dusknoir's body. It was almost as if his hollow form housed an entire universe, a galaxy of pure darkness with black stars burning coldly in the negative space. All the warmth seemed to rush out of the room and into the void in the Dusknoir's chest, and even though there was no gust of wind or visible suction at work, the Shuppet and Murkrow felt as if some invisible force were tugging them towards that dark place, and it was all they could do to keep from being pulled into it. Aeon put his hands in front of his mouth as his iris and the yellow lines on his body glowed gold. The Shadow Balls Spite had fired at him suddenly appeared in the dark galaxy, tiny at first but growing larger, implying that they were coming towards them from very far off…from further off than should possibly be inside the Dusknoir's body, only driving their horrified minds closer to the breaking point. Pulsating with purple and black power beyond anything Spite had been able to muster when he had created them in the first place, the Shadow Balls collided and merged into a tremendous sphere of dark power between Aeon's hands, a sphere that seemed to greedily devour all the light in the cavern. Raising the ultra-Shadow Ball over his head as it swelled to become even bigger than he was, Aeon flung it at Team Ebony.

The two Pokémon quickly took evasive maneuvers, forgetting far too late what had happened the last time they had tried that. Edgar attempted to fly around the oncoming Shadow Ball, and got struck by an Ice Punch that literally came out of nowhere, realizing only at the last second before he got frozen in a block of ice that he was in the exact spot Aeon had flung an Ice Punch at before. Shuppet also tried to disappear, vanishing as he usually did, only for a Shadow Punch to smack him back into semi-corporeality. He was too dazed to get out of the way before the giant Shadow Ball crashed into him and his frozen teammate, exploding in a brilliant flash of blackness that sent them flying away in agony, purple and black smoke trailing from their forms.

Aeon watched dispassionately as his mouth closed and the duo struggled to recover, hurling a Shadow Punch into the past almost as an afterthought to make sure Spite got hit by his Shadow Ball. The markings on his body glowed and he held out his hands, Will-O-Wisp fireballs appearing before them and shooting at the dazed and weary Pokémon, exploding in azure flames and knocking them back. "Disappointing. Is this all the power you possess? The future will be very dark indeed for you in the times to come. Do you believe you will be able to survive what will be Pokémon Square's darkest day like this?"

"We're…Team Ebony," Edgar gasped as he staggered back to his feet. "We're not…afraid of…the dark…"

"We revel in it…we search it…we look for…what's hidden in it…" Spite grunted as he floated back into the air. "It'll take more than…a little darkness…to put us down…"

"Is that so?" Aeon asked. "Then allow me to show you what _true_ darkness is!" The mouth on his chest opened again, revealing the strange dimension inside of him and causing the invisible yet irresistible force to begin pulling everything around into it once again. Edgar and Spite desperately tried to tear free from the power exerting itself on them, every fiber of their being screaming that they could not, under any circumstances, allow themselves to fall into those gaping jaws.

Sadly, they didn't have a choice. Aeon flung two more Shadow Punches into the future, the dark fists reappearing mere seconds ahead of Team Ebony and smashing into their faces, knocking them off the ground and into the air…and right into the mouth in the Dusknoir's chest. They screamed as they vanished into the darkness, Aeon slamming his jaws shut behind them and sealing their fates. "If you can survive this…then you can survive anything," he intoned, red eye smoldering.

While some of the heroes were occupied fighting—or rather, surviving—Team Quantum, the others were having a little more luck battling the Go-Rock Quads on the other side of the cave. The Quads, while annoying, at least couldn't manipulate time to hit you in the past and future, or reverse time so a blow didn't land on them. El Toro and Lobo Fuerte were currently engaging Tiffany in a game of hit-and-run, namely, one of the faster masked Pokémon would dash in and strike at the heavier, slower lava camel with horn and fang and claw then run out of range of reprisal whenever the angered Camerupt tried to strike back, allowing the other one to jump in to strike at her, drawing her attention and making it difficult to keep an eye on either of them long enough to use a successful attack. After the fifth consecutive round of this, in which a cheeky Lobo-who was starting to think he might still be into womon after all—nipped her tail, Tiffany decided that she had had enough. "I have had enough!" she roared, rearing back and bringing her front legs onto the ground in a stomp that created an Earthquake, shaking the cavern and causing the ground around her to become broken up and of different elevations, throwing the startled luchadores off-balance. Eyes going bloodshot, she howled and used Eruption, a geyser of fire and smoke spewing from the volcanoes on her back and smashing into the ceiling, sending rocks and fireballs flying everywhere.

"Ack! Protect me!" Lobo cried in alarm, hiding beneath El Toro's larger body mass.

The Tauros shook his head in exasperation, flicking his head periodically to catch projectiles in his horns and toss them away with his Horn Attack. "You know, I'm really starting to think you're just not meant to be with the _chicas_. First that Sasha _senorita,_ now this girl? Ay-yi-yi…ah, hold that thought." Tiffany was now charging towards them with Iron Head, a white aura surrounding her form. El Toro mooed and charged to meet her with Take Down, lowering his head to point her horns right at her.

The two Pokémon collided with a clash that shook the cave, the ground crumbling and breaking apart under their feet as they pushed against each other fiercely with all their might, neither quite able to overcome the other. Looking to break the stalemate and help him _compadre_, Lobo dashed forward and did one of the things Mightyena did best: he Bit Tiffany hard on the back left leg, ignoring the pain from the aura surrounding her or the way her lava-hot blood burned his mouth. The Camerupt cried in pain and collapsed, her leg buckling underneath her. With her strength faltering, El Toro was able to ram into her full force, knocking her over and sending her skidding across the ground on her side. "Good work, _muchacho!_" El Toro said gratefully.

Lobo panted and tried to spit the Camerupt's blood out of his mouth. "Pah! She is even hotter than the chili back home!"

"I don't know, she doesn't seem that attractive to me," El Toro joked.

"What? How dare you?" Tiffany roared as she staggered back to her feet, limping a little on her wounded leg. "I am the most powerful and beautiful womon in all of Team Rocket, _much_ prettier than that bimbo Domino!"

El Toro and Lobo exchanged puzzled looks. "We never mentioned anyone named Domino," the Tauros said, perplexed.

"But she sounds prettier than you. Do you have her number?" Lobo joked.

That turned out, naturally, to be the wrong thing to say. Roaring with fury, Tiffany's body glowed gold and she stomped the ground with Earth Power, sending glowing gold cracks snaking across the ground towards the luchadores. They yelped and frantically ran away as fast as they could, but not fast enough. The cracks overtook them and exploded directly beneath them, sending them flying. "Why can you not keep your mouth shut around womons?" El Toro demanded as they tumbled through the air. "These days, it just gets you into trouble!"

"I know, I know! I can't help myself though, I'm incorrigible!" Lobo cried.

El Toro sighed in frustration. "Maybe you really should try mons instead…but not me!"

"The thought never crossed my mind," Lobo said honestly.

El Toro frowned. "What, am I not good enough for you or something?"

Lobo sweatdropped. "Stop giving me mixed signals!"

"DIIIIIIIIIIE!" Tiffany screamed, using Lava Plume, causing lava to erupt out of the ground around her and send the duo back into the air, covered in flames.

"_!"_ Lobo screamed.

"She burns even hotter than our passion for justice!" El Toro cried.

"Right now, the only thing _I'm_ burning for—other than the obvious—is some burn cream!" the Mightyena shrieked.

"Mwahahahahaha! Burn! Burn! Buuuuurrrr-" Tiffany paused. "You know, I wonder if this is what the others meant when they said I needed therapy…"

While El Toro and Lobo Fuerte got themselves set on fire repeatedly, Rosa was having it slightly easier with her opponent, Clyde the Slaking, though her usual strategy of seducing her foe and turning him against his allies wasn't working for some reason. "I do not understand…why isn't my Attract working? Am I not _hermoso _enough for you?"

"Oh no, you're very pretty," Clyde assured her. "However, there's a simple reason why it has no effect."

"Ah, of course! You must be gay," Rosa said.

Clyde turned red. "What? NO! It's because I'm already in a happily committed relationship with a womon whom I already find very attractive!"

"Oh," Rosa said, looking disappointed. "…Are you sure it's not because you're gay?"

Clyde roared in frustration and pounded the ground with his feet, sending an Earthquake rippling across the ground towards Rosa. She gracefully jumped over the shockwave, flipped through the air, and pirouetted, generating Magical Leaves and flinging them at the Slaking. He grunted and charged forwards, apparently unharmed by the leaves, his thick fur and skin protecting him from their edges. He drew back his glowing fist, preparing a Focus Punch. Rosa surrounded herself with spiraling orange streaks followed by a purple energy sphere, and she launched herself at Clyde with Giga Impact. His fist collided with her Rush to create an explosion that sent both of them flying backwards. As Clyde staggered to try and regain his balance, Rosa landed on the ground and pressed one of her bouquets to the floor, generating Grass Knots that wrapped around the Slaking's foot and tripped him over, causing him to topple onto his back with a thud that shook the ground. Rosa jumped back into the air and fired Poison Sting needles at Clyde, but he opened his mouth and spewed a Hyper Beam at her, disintegrating the needles and smashing into her hard enough to send her flying with a cry of pain.

Clyde ripped his foot out of the noose gripping it and surged to his feet, Yawning loudly and causing a bubble to exit his mouth and float towards Rosa. She fired Bullet Seeds to pop it before it could reach her and put her to sleep, and fired more at the Slaking to try and put him down. Like the Magical Leaves from before, the seeds did little more than tickle the not-very-Lazy Pokémon, and he used Faint Attack, vanishing briefly and reappearing with startling speeds to slam into Rosa, crushing her beneath his weight. She gasped in pain…and hit him in the groin hard with Poison Jab, causing him to double over in pain. "Let's see your so-called girlfriend stay with you now that you have contaminated _órganos genitals_!" Rosa quipped as she slipped out from under him.

"She's real, I tell you…and I'll have a doctor look at this once we're done here, so don't think you've castrated me or anything like that, bitch!" Clyde growled. "And besides, now that you've Poisoned me…I can do _this!_" His body was engulfed by an orange aura as he used Façade, his Poisoned status doubling its attack power and allowing him to slam into Rosa hard enough to defeat her…

Or at least, that's what would have happened if he hadn't tripped in another Grass Knot and slammed into the ground so hard his attack rebounded, causing him to bounce up and land on his back. "Forgot I could do that?" the beautiful Roserade asked with a smirk.

"Yes…" he groaned.

"That was your last mistake!" she said, spinning rapidly with Petal Dance, petals flying off of her and swirling around the Slaking, causing him to grow dizzy and confused.

"Whoo…look at all the pretty petals…" he said in a daze.

Rosa chuckled. "I may not be able to arouse you, but at least I still have the power to make mons like you lose their senses…now to finish you!" She pointed her flowers at Clyde, using Mega Drain to fire a green beam at him and absorb his power, recovering some of the vitality his attacks had stolen from her. "Ahhhhh," she said as she finished her feast, feeling reinvigorated. "My strength and beauty are back to their peak levels…and now that that's done, I suppose I should go help my darling little _gato_ against that hunky _lagarto._ Hmm…maybe I can put them both under my spell and have them 'do' each other. I doubt they'd mind too much, would they?"

Practically drooling over the thought of Zoro making out with Crono, Rosa did not appear to notice Clyde recover and slowly get to his feet. She did not appear to notice him open his mouth and prepare a Hyper Beam…

Until, without bothering to turn around, she pointed a flower back over her shoulder and fired Bullet Seeds, the seeds striking the coalescing energy ball in the Slaking's mouth and causing it to explode, knocking him back to the ground with smoke rising from his face. "Guuhhhh…"

Rosa snorted. "Come now, you didn't really think I'd leave myself open for something like that, did you?"

"Actually, yes, I did," Clyde coughed as he staggered back to his feet.

Rosa chuckled and shook her head mockingly. "Tsk, tsk. You would have been better off staying on the ground where I left you."

"Lady, if you think I'm just going to let you walk all over me, you've got another thing coming," Clyde growled.

Rosa laughed. "How _adorable!_ You actually think you have a chance. Very well, if you are that eager for another round, then that is exactly what I will give you. Since you seem uninterested in being my love slave, I'll just have to get satisfaction out of dominating you the old-fashioned way."

"…Miss, you terrify me," Clyde said, looking disturbed.

"Good," Rosa said with a rather frightening smile. "You should be."

While Rosa prepared to do something that would be both horrible yet immensely pleasurable (depending on your point of view) to Clyde, Gonzap was locked in combat with Garret the Scizor. Neither opponent was really getting anywhere, unfortunately, since they were both Steel-types, and neither of them knew any moves that would be particularly effective against each other. As a result, there was nothing they could do but keep bashing into each other in hopes of wearing their opponent down. At the rate they were going, however, it would be quite some time before that happened.

"Have some of this!" Gonzap snarled, flapping his wings as they turned white and releasing light blue S-shaped Air Cutter energy disks at Garret.

"Ha, I can do that too! Or something similar, anyway!" the Scizor said, crossing his pincers as they glowed white before bringing them forward, flinging multiple crescent-shaped Razor Wind beams at the Air Cutters, the wind blade attacks clashing between the two Steel-types and exploding.

"What about _this,_ huh?" Gonzap retorted as he used Aerial Ace. He flew towards Garret, flipped in the air, and then dove towards the Scizor, his body surrounded by white streaks. Garret's claws turned white as he used Metal Claw to counter, grabbing the Skarmory's wings just before Gonzap could slam into him, digging his heels into the ground and buzzing his wings to keep from being pushed too far back by the impact. Squawking angrily and struggling to break free from Garret's pincers, Gonzap's head shot forward, beak spinning as he drove a Drill Peck into the Scizor's chest armor.

Grunting in pain, Garret let go of him, and Gonzap's wings lashed out with Steel Wing, his metal feathers screeching like claws on a chalkboard as they raked across Garret's exoskeleton, doing little more than scratching it and making the Scizor angry. Pincers glowing white with another Metal Claw, Garret knocked Gonzap back with an uppercut, and then hopped backwards, wings buzzing as he took to the air. He flew down towards the stunned Gonzap, raising his pincers into the air and bringing them down hard with False Swipe as he passed the Skarmory, knocking him to the ground. "Had enough?"

"Heh, not even close, youngster!" Gonzap snarled, scraping his talons along the ground and throwing dirt into the Scizor's face with Sand Attack. As Garret flinched and covered his eyes, Gonzap opened his mouth and spat a Hyper Beam at him, blasting him backwards. "Ha! What do you think of them apples, huh?"

"…Actually, I'm okay," Garret said. "I mean, that hurt a bit, yeah, but I can still fight."

Gonzap groaned. "Oh, hell…this is getting ridiculous; our attacks are barely doing anything to each other! Stupid Steel-type resistances!"

"And stupid us, for not having attacks capable of beating a Steel-type," Garret said mournfully. "Well, not that it's really my fault, given I'm not capable of learning any Fire or Electric moves."

"Neither can I, as it turns out," Gonzap grunted. "Does that mean we keep bashing at each other until one of us falls?"

"It looks that way, unless you have any better ideas," Garret said.

Gonzap hesitated. "Well…I may have _one…_though I don't think you'd like it."

The Scizor raised an eyebrow. "And that would be…?"

Gonzap opened his mouth and spat several yellow hearts at Garret. The hearts popped on impact with the Scizor's metallic body. "Well?"

"…Attract. You used _Attract_ on me?" Garret asked incredulously.

"Er, yes," Gonzap said.

"Do I _look_ like a member of the opposite sex to you?" Garret demanded.

"No, but I assumed you were gay," Gonzap said.

"Gay? Why on Earth would you think I'm _gay?_" Garret screamed.

"Oh, come on! Considering that ridiculous crap with the instruments and the confetti you pulled earlier, I think it's a reasonable assumption to make!" Gonzap said.

Garret sagged. "Why does _everyone_ keep saying that? Ugh, forget this. Let's just go back to beating each other up, it's tedious but at least we don't have to think about it."

"I hear you," Gonzap said. "Okay, let's try this again…" He flung Air Cutters.

Garret countered with Razor Wind. The blades collided and did no damage to either of them. They sighed. "I don't suppose you'd consider just surrendering?" Garret asked.

"Not on your life, kid," Gonzap snarled. "Not even on the worst day of _my_ life…although, truth be told, this is starting to feel like it…"

While Garret and Gonzap tried to figure out how the Abyss they were supposed to fight each other, Billy the Tyranitar, strongest of the Go-Rock Quads, was doing a much better job of putting his opponents, Team Frontier, through their paces. "Ha! I must be pretty strong if it takes all three of you to fight me, Rescue Team!" Billy taunted as he slammed his tail on the ground, using Rock Slide to cause boulders to fall from the ceiling and rain down on the heroic trio.

"Not really," Atlas commented as he caught a boulder in either hand. "We just happen to be the ones best suited to take you down!" He threw the rocks back at Billy.

The Tyranitar swung his mighty tail, smashing the boulders back at them. "Because of my type-disadvantage to your attacks, I suppose? Even with that going for you, I'm far more powerful than you're capable of taking down!"

Mac leaped up and smashed one of the boulders to pieces with a Mach Punch, while Samantha caught the other one in her metal horns with Stockpile and fired it back as a tremendous purple energy beam with Spit Up, slamming into Billy's chest and pushing him back. As he grunted in pain, the trio ran towards him. Atlas drew back a fist and flung a Dynamic Punch at the Tyranitar's chest. Billy's tail glowed as he swung it around in an Iron Tail, catching the Machoke in the side and sending him flying. The lighter and more agile Mac, however, jumped onto Billy's tail and dashed up it and onto the Armor Pokémon's back, much to his surprise. He tried to shake the Breloom off, but Samantha locked her horns around his ankle with ViceGrip, causing him to roar in pain and briefly forget about the Pokémon on his back as he stomped and wiggled his leg to try and dislodge her. This proved to be a mistake when Mac wrapped his long, strong legs around the Tyranitar's neck and shoved a Seed Bomb down his throat. The Breloom jumped off and drove a Mach Punch into Billy's face as he flipped through the air, not only hurting his snout but forcing him to swallow the seed. Naturally, being a bomb, it exploded inside of him, causing him to double over in pain, gasping and coughing out smoke.

Atlas, who had recovered from the Iron Tail to the ribs, ran towards him, forearms glowing white as they crossed over his chest. The weakened Billy tried to get out of the way, but Samantha's grip on his leg was too strong. Desperate, he swung his Iron Tail up again, trying to knock the Machoke away. Since he knew it was coming this time, Atlas leaped over the tail and hit Billy in the chest with his Cross Chop, denting the Tyranitar's chest armor and causing him to topple over backwards with a ground-shaking thud. Atlas smirked as he planted a foot on Billy's chest. "What was that about being more powerful than we're capable of taking down?"

Billy replied by opening his mouth and firing a Hyper Beam at Atlas's face. The Machoke managed to dive out of the way in time, but Billy swung his arm up to trip him over and knock him to the ground. The Tyranitar then emulated Samantha by grabbing Atlas's leg in his mouth and biting down hard with Crunch. The Machoke screamed in pain, he may have been resistant to Dark attacks but that didn't mean it didn't hurt like hell. Samantha gasped. "Atlas!" Her eyes glowed, and suddenly she and the Machoke switched places as she used Baton Pass to snatch her teammate from harm's way, even though this meant it was now _her_ getting her leg crushed by the Tyranitar's jaws. However, her leg was a lot smaller than Atlas's, so she was easily able to slip it out from the surprised Billy's teeth and hit him in the face with Iron Head.

As Billy snarled in pain and surged back to his feet, Mac hit him with Mega Drain, but rather than using the stolen energy on himself, he transferred it to Atlas to heal his leg. The Machoke gave him a grateful look as he got back up. "Thanks, guys."

"This is another reason why we chose to take you on together, Billy," Mac said proudly. "Because we're stronger as a team than we are on our own!"

"Then you'll fall together as well!" Billy snarled. He roared and fired Hyper Beam in an arc along the cave's wall and ceiling, causing massive chunks of stone to fall over the place. He then fired Dark Pulse in an arc in the opposite direction, bringing down even more rocks. He finished this off by pounding his tail on the ground to generate Earthquake, shaking the cave and tearing the ground apart. The Rocket Grunts and Draconian soldiers had to scramble frantically to keep from being crushed by the debris.

"What are you doing?" Samantha cried. "You'll cause a cave-in and kill us all!"

"I refuse to fail this mission!" the Tyranitar roared. "I am Billy of the Go-Rock Quads! I will not be defeated!" Three light blue rings surrounded his body. The rings glowed white and turned into chunks of gray stone (somehow) which Billy flung at them with Stone Edge, his eyes glowing with rage.

Atlas and Mac smashed most of the rocks with their fists while Samantha caught others with Stockpile and fired them back as an energy blast with Spit Up. Billy grinned and, rather than firing a beam to counter the blast, allowed it to hit him…and retaliated with Payback, causing an explosion of Dark energy that knocked Team Frontier off their feet. Laughing maniacally, Billy's eyes flashed blue and he shook himself, generating a Sandstorm which billowed out around him, buffeting the trio with sand and pushing them back. Atlas and Mac crossed their arms to brace themselves and try to keep the sand out of their eyes and other orifices. "Gah…this storm's too strong!" the Machoke cried.

"Oh, I don't know, it doesn't seem that bad," said Samantha, who was completely unaffected due to being a Steel-type.

"This guy's out of control…we've gotta stop him before he destroys all of us!" Mac said.

Atlas nodded. "We're the ones who are supposed to do the rescuing, not get rescued!"

"You don't suppose those time travelers over there will reset everything in case something goes wrong, though?" Samantha asked, glancing over at Team Quantum.

"That's a risk I'd rather not have to take…" Atlas grunted. "So come on! Let's take him down! We're Team Frontier, the guys who find things people have lost and forgotten! We've defeated tougher monsters than this guy in the darkest corners of Kanjohenn!"

Mac nodded. "Right! Hold on!" Two white energy balls formed in his hand-leaves, and he flung them towards the ceiling. They combined and expanded to form an artificial sun through the power of Sunny Day, shining simulated sunlight all over the cavern and causing the Sandstorm to dissipate.

Billy snarled in annoyance. "You think just because you made it brighter in here you'll be able to beat me?"

"We didn't need the light to beat you," Atlas quipped.

"We just wanted it so we could see the look on your face when we cream you that much easier!" Samantha taunted.

The Tyranitar sneered. "You think so, do you? Fine! Bring it! I'll show you the power of a Team Rocket special agent!"

"Would it happen to be proportional to your musical talent?" Mac joked.

"Hey, I'm decent with my guitar!" Billy said defensively. "And besides, it was Clyde who wrote the lyrics for our motto, not me. I personally would have preferred something with a lot more heavy metal and death and explosions and the like, but I was outvoted."

"…Er, right…whatever…" Atlas said, not really caring. "Let's just finish this, okay?"

They did. The conclusion to their battle was truly magnificent…and something you'll have to wait until the next chapter to see.

The battle raging between the trio of Rescue Teams and the titanic Groudon in the heart of Mt. Blaze, on the other hand, we can check in on right now. The ancient deity roared in fury as the nine much smaller Pokémon of Teams Charm, Raider, and AWD jumped all over the place, hopping and teleporting from Devil Golem egg to Devil Golem egg too quickly for Groudon to keep an eye on, beginning to drive the giant dizzy due to all the chaotic and contrary circles they were moving in as they pelted him with attacks that, while not especially damaging, irritated him and only made him angrier and angrier due to his inability to properly counterattack. The chains binding him to the lava pit didn't make matters any easier. Growing frustrated, he raised his bulk as far as he could, then brought it crashing back down, sinking into the lava and causing the molten rock around him to splash outwards in a tremendous wave of magma, the crest of the liquid fire rising over the peaks of the Devil Golem eggs as it surged towards the Rescue Teams.

"Oh crap," King said, eyes widening in horror as he saw the oncoming wave.

"Everyone, hang onto me!" Melodi said, grabbing her teammates and Teleporting away in a flash of light.

"No need to tell us twice!" Roxie said as she held onto Gallant.

"Not like we need an excuse to hang onto him, anyway!" Forsythia quipped. Gallant smiled as they Teleported away.

Reg sweatdropped. "They left us behind!"

"Hey, what about usss? We can't Teleport!" King shrieked in panic.

"That's because we don't need to," Lady said, gathering her power. She took a deep breath and exhaled an Icy Wind at the wave rushing towards them. The plume of cold air and sparkling blue snow blasted against the lava, causing the bit of the wave directly in front of Team AWD to freeze in place and harden into solid rock as it cooled. The rest of the wave crashed past them on either side, missing the egg they were standing on.

King sighed in relief. "That wasss too clossse…"

"And those jerks still abandoned us! I thought we were friends! Teammates! Lovers!" Reg complained.

"We are," Gallant said as he and the rest of Team Raider Teleported onto the egg.

"We knew you would figure out a way to survive," Melodi said as she and Team Charm joined them. "And if not, we would have done something to save you at the last minute."

"Oh," Reg said.

"Well…ssstill, it gave me a fright! Don't do that again!" King hissed angrily.

"I might say the same to all of you," Master Yamiri said as he materialized from shadow. "If Groudon does something like that again, it will be rather difficult for my team to get close enough to the eggs to destroy them. Additionally, the prayer slips I already planted have all been burned away by that last wave, so I need to place them all over again."

"So you want us to distract him without getting him angry enough to do that again?" Lady guessed.

The Sableye nodded. "If at all possible, yes."

"Then I guess the time for hit and run tactics is over," Gallant commented as Groudon reemerged from the lava, embers dripping off his massive form.

Paris nodded in agreement. "We'll have to fight him directly!"

Lady grinned. "Good…I was wondering when we'd get the chance to do some real damage." King and Reg sweatdropped and looked at her in alarm.

"We'll keep him focused on us, Master," Gallant told the priest. "You do our job, and we'll do ours!"

Yamiri smiled. "I never doubted you would do otherwise." He vanished.

Snarling, Groudon drew back a fist and brought a Hammer Arm crashing down at the nine heroes. They scattered by Teleports or jumping out of the way before they could get hit, the powerful punch smashing into the egg with an impact that shook the chamber, but did not damage to the egg itself. (Those were some pretty sturdy shells, yeah?) As Groudon drew back his arm and the others regrouped, Melodi telepathically contacted the others. _All of you get ready. We'll draw his attention to us via the usual method, and you hit him as hard as you can once his guard is dropped!_

_Roger,_ Gallant and King acknowledged.

Grace made a face. "Why is it that we're _always_ the ones who use the 'usual method' to serve as a distraction for the others?"

"Because we're good at it?" Paris said.

"Yeah, but I feel like it kind of objectifies us as sex symbols," the Medicham complained. "I mean, there's more to us than just _this_, after all!"

"We can't help being the three most beautiful and attractive womon in our little family unit," the Lopunny said with a wink. "If you've got it, why not flaunt it? Besides, you can't deny its fun, can you?" Grace grunted noncommittally.

"The others are in position," Melodi reported. "Let's do this on three. One, two…"

"Three!" they all shouted, getting into a sexy pose and blowing kisses at Groudon, the kisses turning into yellow Attract hearts that swam through the air and burst against his craggy features. His eyes immediately turned into hearts and he lurched forward to gaze at the very pretty womon displaying themselves before him, boiling-hot saliva dripping from his jaws. What with being buried underground for so many years, it had been a long time since he had gotten a really nice virgin sacrifice, and all the offerings the monkeys kept giving him were too scrawny, flea-bitten, and emaciated to serve as anything more than a light snack.

"NOW!" Gallant shouted as Team Raider and AWD leapt into attack mode. Lady used Icy Wind to cover the right side of Groudon's head in ice, which Reg and King then bombarded with Poison Stings, shattering it and scarring the Continent Pokémon's face. At the same instant, Gallant and Forsythia Teleported onto Groudon's shoulder while Roxie stayed behind and started firing her signature Rock Wrecker boulders at the deity's head to agitate him, and while the Roserade launched Stun Spores into the god's gaping jaws to weaken him, Gallant leaped forward and drove one of his arm blades into Groudon's left eye with Psycho Cut, gouging it out.

As Gallant quickly leaped back onto the shoulder and teleported Forsythia and himself away, Groudon reared back and howled in pain from the simultaneous attack, twitching as the Stun Spore he had swallowed took effect and paralyzed him, giving the teams the opportunity to hit him as hard as they could. Breaking their pose, Team Charm attacked, Melodi firing Magical Leaves at Groudon's torso while Paris grabbed Grace and bounded into the air, flipping at the arc of her jump to hurl the Medicham at Groudon's neck before firing a massive heart-shaped Return at Groudon's head, channeling the full strength of the love and affection she felt for her friends into an intensely powerful attack which smashed into Groudon's face, flinging his head back and exposing his neck long enough for the high-speed projectile that was Grace to slam a Force Palm into it.

Still twitching, Groudon stumbled back, choking as he tried to recover from the blow to the throat. Taking advantage of his weakness, they blasted him full force, Lady shooting Dark Pulses, her partners expelling streams of Toxic which sizzled against Groudon's skin and melted at his armor, Forsythia firing a Solarbeam while Roxie kept unloading Rock Wreckers, Paris and Grace lunging forward and delivering a Hi Jump Kick to the monster's chin, while Gallant and Melodi combined their mental might to blast the deity's mind with a Psychic slam powerful enough to melt most mortal's minds instantly.

But Groudon was far from a mortal, and their attack, while painful, did little more than give him a headache. And Groudon got _really_ pissy when his head hurt. His fury causing Lava Plumes to erupt all over the pool, Groudon roared and fired an ultra-powerful SolarBeam, sweeping it all over the cave, splashing against the eggs, tearing through the walls and ceiling and causing whole sheets of rock to crumble to the ground and splash into the lava lake, and coming close to vaporizing the three teams, who had to jump and Teleport like crazy to evade the attack. As they tried to recover, Groudon flexed his muscles and glowed red, using Bulk Up to make himself even _stronger,_ the whole cavern shaking as his power levels skyrocketed. He formed AncientPower spheres in either of his hands; the energy balls the sizes of small houses, and hurled them at Team AWD and Charm while spitting a Fire Blast at Team Raider.

Each team immediately acted to protect the others. Ignoring the AncientPower blast sailing towards them—despite King and Reg's unmonly squealing—Lady blew an Icy Wind at the Fire Blast, freezing it solid and allowing Forsythia and Roxie to smash it with their projectile attacks. Gallant grabbed the AncientPower flying towards Team Charm with Psychic and sent it hurtling back towards Groudon, while Melodi did the same with the ball aimed at Team AWD. The energy balls slammed into Groudon's chest and exploded, but due to his Bulked Up defense, he barely felt a thing.

Growling, Groudon stomped the bottom of the lava lake with Earthquake, shaking the cavern and causing rocks to fall from the ceiling towards the heroes. Undaunted, they either smashed the rocks with projectile attacks or telekinetically flung the boulders at Groudon, who casually shattered them with a Slash of his claws. His red plate armor glowing with heat, he threw back his head and inhaled deeply, fire building up in his gullet as he prepared an Eruption attack. "Uh oh…if he lets that loose, he could incinerate everything in the room!" Melodi cried as she sensed the power Groudon was building.

"I've got an idea," Lady shouted. "Get Roxie over here!"

"All right," Gallant said, touching the Rhyperior and Teleporting her over to Team AWD.

"I hate it when he does that without telling me beforehand," Roxie complained. "I get so disoriented…okay, what do you need, Lady?"

"I can stop that attack if I get a decent shot down his throat, but since I'm a Dark-type, Gallant or Melodi can't levitate me high enough to get the angle I need," the Weavile explained. "But you can, using your Rock Wrecker!"

"Wait, what?" Reg cried in alarm.

"Lady, thisss doesssn't ssseem like a good idea!" King protested.

"Of course it's a good idea, when have I ever had a bad one?" Lady said dismissively. Her teammates blanched as the memories of all the trouble her ideas had gotten them into in the past flashed through her minds.

"So…let me get this straight, you want me to shoot you at Groudon using a boulder fired from a high-speed cannon?" Roxie said dubiously.

"That's the idea," Lady said.

"I don't know…" Roxie said doubtfully.

"It has a good chance of working," Gallant said as he and Forsythia Teleported over.

"And your Rock Wrecker can get her higher than either of our jumps could," Grace said as she appeared with Melodi and Paris.

"And since our other choice is to get horribly burned to death…" Forsythia pointed out.

Roxie sighed, giving in. "All right, all right, I get your point…just give me a sec."

"I'm not sure we have that much longer, he's going to blast us any second now!" Reg said anxiously, clearly unaware that Talking was a Free Action.

"Oh yes, putting that much more pressure on me is such a great idea…" Roxie grumbled as she put her hands together. Small chunks of gray stone came out of the holes in her palms and coalesced to create a large red-glowing boulder. She raised her arms as the boulder kept growing in size and power, aiming for a point high above Groudon, whose glow was getting brighter and brighter as flames licked around the corners of his mouth. "Okay…get on!"

"Right!" Lady said, hopping onto the boulder.

"Do be careful," King hissed anxiously. "If anything happened to you, I don't know what I'd tell Evan!"

"Tell him that I died kicking ass and cutting throats, the sort of thing I like to do best," Lady said. "Okay…fire!" Roxie nodded and concentrated. The boulder stopped glowing and was abruptly launched into the air at high speeds. "Yeeeeeehaaaaa!"

"That is one crazy Weavile," Grace commented as King fretted anxiously.

"Yes, but it's why we all love her," Forsythia said warmly.

As the boulder rocketed through the air, Lady tensed, knowing she'd need split-second timing to get this right. Fortunately, that was the sort of thing she was good at, so she wasn't particularly worried. As the rock soared over Groudon, Lady jumped off, allowing her ride to continue on its trajectory and smash into the wall hard enough to crater it. As she began descending towards the great red dinosaur, she could see the tremendous mass of flames in his throat building up to critical levels. _Only one shot,_ she thought to herself. _Good thing that's all I need!_ Taking a deep breath, she fired an Ice Beam straight down at Groudon. The beam struck the seething mass of lava and fire building up in Groudon's jaws and froze it solid, plugging up Groudon's throat.

His eyes bulged and he started pounding his chest frantically, trying to dislodge the ice mass stuck in his craw before it choked him to death. His head lowered as he tried to dip it into the lava to melt the ice, but the Pokémon on the ground didn't intend to let that happen. They fired SolarBeam, Magical Leaf, Return, Signal Beam, Rock Wrecker, and Toxic into the beast's jaws, striking the ice mass and making it explode in a blast that painfully cut up Groudon's throat, causing the titan's eyes to water and squeeze shut in pain as he vomited up blood and lava, though it was hard to tell the difference with him.

As the beast doubled over in pain and her friends cheered, Lady landed on Groudon's back, using Icy Wind to create a frozen trail down the deity's back which she slid down, leaping off the tail as if it were a ramp, flipping through the air, and landing neatly on a nearby egg. Some of her teammates held up placards. Reg's said 10.0, King's said 10.0, and Forsythia's said 6.5. "Oh come on! I did better than that!" she yelled indignantly.

"Eh, I saw better at the last Winter Pokélympics," Forsythia said.

Lady huffed. "Everyone's a critic…hmm?" She turned to see Groudon straightening back up and turning towards her, a _really_ pissed look on his face. "Ah. Guess it was too much to hope that would finish him, huh?"

"Guess so," Roxie said as she and the others made their way over to her.

"Then I suppose we'll just have to keep pounding on him until he finally learns his lesson," Grace said with a smirk.

"Is everyone ready?" Gallant asked.

"Ready!" the others shouted.

Groudon opened his mouth and roared, blasting them with hot and not very nice-smelling breath. "Then let's get him!" the Gallade cried, arm blades glowing with power as he leaped towards the deity. The others shouted battle cries and jumped after him, charging their strongest attacks as they prepared to make Groudon think twice about messing with Rescue Teams in the future.

While the nine Pokémon valiantly engaged Groudon again, the Draconian soldiers watched somewhat longingly from the shore of the lava lake. "Are you sure we can't go out there, sir?" a Salamence asked his commander, Morty the Haunter, hopefully. "I mean, they may have him outnumbered, but Groudon's a _god_…I'm sure they could use a little extra help…"

Morty smirked. "And you'd get to brag to the people back home about how you got a chance to tackle with our liege's antithesis?"

"No, of course not!" the Salamence said quickly. "Well…maybe a little…"

Morty laughed and patted him on the shoulder. "I know, I know. I'm as patriotic and Rayquaza-fearing as the next Draconian, and I'd dearly love to get my share of the glory and take a piece out of that monster over there…but orders are orders. It's our job to help Master Yamiri destroy the Devil Golems, not engage Groudon and possibly get ourselves killed. Stopping the Golems from hatching is our top priority right now, everything else can wait until later."

"But Master Yamiri's doing well by himself so far," a Banette complained. "Surely he wouldn't mind if we went to help out the others, would we? I mean, they are friends of his, after all…"

"Actually, yes, I would mind," Yamiri said as he emerged from the shadows, startling them. "While I appreciate your concern, it is misplaced. My friends can take care of themselves. Additionally, I have done everything I can on my own. From this point onward, the rest of our mission is up to you."

Morty perked up. "Then the Devil Golems are finally vulnerable to attack?"

Master Yamiri raised a prayer slip, delicately held it between both claws, and ripped it in half. The several dozen identical slips he had planted on cracks and weak spots on the Devil Golem eggs flashed and exploded in brilliant blasts of holy light, the blasts tearing open fissures in the thick spiky shells and causing evil-smelling fluids to start leaking out of the interior. Groudon started when he heard the explosions, but was unable to do anything about it at that moment because he was too busy trying to keep Gallant from putting out his other eye while the other Pokémon bombarded him with projectile attacks, Grace kept dashing and jumping about landing powerful blows to chinks in his armor, and Melodi kept trying to make his head explode with Psychic. "They are now."

"Excellent!" Morty turned to his mons. "Get those lances in the air, stat! It's time to kill us some Golems!" Cheering, his squad scrambled into action, smaller soldiers climbing onto the backs of the larger dragons as the winged Pokémon flapped into the air, picking up the special blessed lances they had assembled in their talons and carrying them over to the eggs sitting in the lava.

As Morty and Master Yamiri floated over to direct the efforts of their mons, a Flygon, a Charizard, and the Salamence from before circled one of the eggs. While they were repulsed by the horror of the creature gestating within the egg and the fumes leaking from the cracks in the shell made their head spin, they were professional soldiers and were used to hardships such as this on missions for their king. The Salamence was the first to find the place to insert its lance, a sharp-eyed Gastly riding on its back spotting one of the cracks that had been enlarged by Master Yamiri's impromptu charges and directing the Dragon Pokémon over to it. Holding his breath to keep from inhaling too many of the fumes, the Salamence drew back then thrust forward, driving the lance he was carrying into the crack. Its tip slid through the interior and into the egg, piercing the grotesque hide of the monster within and causing it to wriggle in pain. "Contact!" he shouted.

"Contact!" the Charizard cried as his lance slid into place.

"Contact!" the Flygon added as she planted her lance into the beast's side. Pinned in place, the Devil Golem wriggled helplessly, its eggshell and the surface of its skin sizzling where the blessed instruments touched it.

"Very good," Yamiri commended them as he floated over; making a quick flyby of the egg to make sure the lances were securely in place. "Now, inject the holy water!"

The dragons let go of the lances and floated back then underneath the weapons, dipping their heads so that the handles of the long devices stretched over their necks. One of the soldiers riding on each dragon's back took out a vial of faintly glowing holy water from a padded satchel and pulled on the lance handle, causing a portion of it to slide out and reveal an opening into a hollow space running the entire length of the spear. Each soldier placed their vial into the opening then slammed the handle back into place, the spring-loaded mechanism within propelling the capsules of water down the hollow shafts and into the body of the transfixed Devil Golem.

The results were apparent almost at once. The nascent Golem actually _shrieked_ as the lethal water entered its body, its hair-raising cry so horrific that if any of the soldiers had had hair, it would have been standing straight up, and if they hadn't been hardened veterans of countless tours of duty, they probably would have voided themselves in fright. (Groudon voided himself, amusingly, but since his lower half was in lava, and given the way his body chemistry worked, aside from a few bubbles nobody noticed anything.) The Devil Golem thrashed futilely against its shell, causing the Draconians to back off in alarm, thinking that the monster was about to break free.

Thankfully, although some more cracks formed in the shell, nothing like that happened. Unthankfully, they were treated to the rather gruesome sight of the Devil Golem _melting_, its skin sloughing off in great chunks and causing the screaming swirling faces flowing on its skin to collapse on themselves and look even more horrendous, its tentacles and spines liquefying and flowing down its hide in great streams, some of which gushed around what little space remained in the cracks occupied by the blessed lances and nearly splashed onto the orbiting dragons, which would have sentenced them to an agonizingly slow and painful death if it had touched them. The Golem continued shrieking helplessly until its lower jaw fell off, and its eyes popped out of their sockets and splattered one by one, and finally the beast was nothing more than an utterly revolting shapeless amorphous mass of melted flesh and carapace and stone.

"Well," Morty said after a moment. "That's going to give me nightmares, and not the good kind either." (And considering that he had not only experienced the horrors of war firsthand on a number of occasions but was a _Ghost_, who practically _thrived_ on fear, that just goes to show how utterly horrifying the Devil Golem's death was.)

The eggshell crackled as it became clearer and brittle. Pieces of it started splitting off one by one and growing in frequency until finally the egg crumbled entirely to nothingness, spilling the melted mass of the Devil Golem into the lava pool, where it was quickly subsumed and dissipated into the molten rock, vanishing without a trace save for a rather unpleasant stench that lingered for several minutes afterwards.

And then…

The surface of the lava bubbled and burst as hundreds of beautiful lights emerged from the depths, the sounds of laughter and cries of joy and delight and gratitude ringing through the air as they streaked past the surprised Draconians and out of the cavern. Morty blinked in surprise. "And that's going to give me good dreams…"

Master Yamiri nodded. "Yes, these things usually have a way of balancing out."

"Is that going to happen every time we kill one of those things?" a Charmeleon on Gabite-back asked unhappily.

"Yes, but so will the liberation of the souls imprisoned within them, so I would say it's a worthwhile endeavor in the end," Master Yamiri said. "So let us continue! That was only one Golem, and there are many more to go…and the death of one of their brethren has alerted the others. They are getting closer to the moment of awakening as we speak…"

The priest's words spoke the truth. As they watched, the Devil Golems started twitching and wriggling more and more, pushing harder and harder against the shells imprisoning them. A small crack formed in the side of one egg, then another, and another. The eggs still held fast despite these renewed efforts…but there was no telling for how much longer they would stay that way. Morty licked his lips nervously. "So each Golem we kill will mean we have less time to kill the others?"

Master Yamiri nodded. "I am afraid so."

"Then let's get moving, people!" Morty shouted so all of his troops could hear him. "Get those lances in place; get that holy water ready! I'm not going to have the end of the world happen on my watch, how would I ever be able to explain myself to His Excellency in the next life? Let's kill these things already!"

"Sir, yes, sir!" the Draconians chorused.

Groudon, noticing what was going on, frowned and tried to turn towards the dragons flying about, getting the vague idea that he shouldn't be letting them do that, and that he was supposed to be protecting those big eggs for some reason, even though they weren't his own. (Did he even have any eggs? He couldn't recall the last time he'd ever laid with a womon and gotten some progeny out of it. Well, okay, there was that one—re: several—time with Kyogre, but he still refused to acknowledge that that little twerp was his! No son of Groudon could possibly be that tiny!)

A triple shower of Magical Leaves into his bad eye caused him to hiss in pain and turn his attention back to his tormentors. "Hey, what do you think you're doing?" Gallant shouted as he flung Vacuum-Waves at the crimson titan.

"Your fight is with us, not them!" Reg snarled as he swiped his arms through the air, flinging a Cross Poison at the deity.

Snarling, Groudon turned back to face the Rescue Teams. He'd deal with whatever it was those other morsels were doing…after he'd crushed these whelps and had them for supper! (Or was it lunch? Breakfast? Brunch? Linner? A midnight snack? He'd never been particularly good at telling time, and basically figured anytime he was hungry was time to eat, and he was almost _always_ hungry. It wasn't like there was a lot to eat in the magma pockets miles beneath the surface of the planet.)

As the trio of Rescue Teams continued to engage the imprisoned and deposed god to buy time for their comrades to destroy the remaining Devil Golem eggs, an even more titanic struggle (if that's even possible!) was taking place at that moment thousands of feet above them as the legendary Team Auraforce at long last met Gal, vile Monkey King, Fire Lord, and self-proclaimed god of Mt. Blaze, in pitched battle.

Gal started things off with a bang, triggering an Eruption right underneath Team Auraforce that engulfed them in a tumultuous blast of lava and flames. (Yes, normally Infernape can't use Eruption, but normally Infernape don't have the power of Groudon, now do they?) Aaron sensed the power building thanks to his Aura powers and quickly grabbed his friends before the ground exploded beneath them, shielding them in a sphere of Aura. Instead of getting incinerated, the Eruption flung their sphere into the air, ricocheting off the ceiling and crashing to the ground, where Aaron dissipated it and charged towards Gal, his teammates flanking him on either side.

Growling, Gal punched the ground, causing Lava Plumes (Another attack Infernapes can't usually learn. Expect to see Gal using a lot of those in this fight.) to burst sporadically out of the floor in the paths of the heroes. Each dealt with the molten pillars in different ways; Aaron detected the magma building up in the ground with his Aura-sight and maneuvered around them before they could erupt, Raiki used his Agility to dash around them, while Charla, being a lava-proof Charizard, simply powered her way right through them, embers dripping off her form as she continued towards her nemesis. Narrowing his eyes in annoyance, Gal raised his arms upward, causing a wall of fire to burst out of the ground before him and rush across the floor towards the heroes. Raiki simply smirked and swung his sword, sending a Vacuum-Cut racing across the ground and into the flames, extinguishing them. As the fire dissipated, Aaron jumped over what was left and drew back his arm, concentrating Aura into his staff until the crystal glowed. With a grunt, he hurled it at Gal like a javelin.

Gal's right arm, the one still looking like an Infernape's, shot out with lightning-quick reflexes and snatched the staff out of the air before its sharp end could pierce his chest. He grinned mockingly at the Lucario…and was startled when the crystal flashed, and abruptly his arm burst into blue flames. Howling in anguish, he dropped the staff and shook his arm, frantically trying to put out the fire, fire that hurt him far more than it possibly should, due to his being a Fire-type and all. But then again, Aura was fire of the spirit, not of…well; heat, so naturally it would burn someone whose soul was as blackened as Gal's. As the mutated Infernape flailed and beat at his burning arm desperately, Raiki decided to take pity on him…

By cutting the arm off altogether. He dashed past Gal, sword flashing as he ran by, and the burning arm was sliced off at the shoulder, causing lava to gush from the stump in place of blood. Gal howled in pain, only to be cut off when Aaron and Charla hit him with an Aura and fire-powered double Focus Punch to the chin that sent him flying. Recovering with an acrobatic grace you wouldn't expect from a Pokémon as heavily armored as he was, Gal managed to flip in the air and land on his feet, digging the claws of his left arm into the ground to keep from skidding too far. He grinned as lava continued to flow from his severed shoulder, and his Red Orb glowed…and suddenly the lava stream sputtered and solidified into a new arm, one that was a twin of his armored and clawed left arm save for the fact that there was no Red Orb in it. As the three heroes gaped in astonishment, Gal raised his new limb into the air, gathering his power and glowing golden, then punched the ground, sending Earth Power zigzagging across the floor towards the team.

Like the Lava Plumes, each dealt with this attack in different ways. Aaron touched the ground with one hand and absorbed the volatile energy as it reached the floor beneath him, channeling it into his body and firing it back at Gal in a torrent of Aura. Raiki charged up his sword and drove it into the ground, sending an almost identical electric shockwave crackling across the floor towards the Earth Power, smashing into it and cancelling it out. As for Charla, she simply spread her wings and rose into the air to avoid the attack altogether, wings glowing white as she glided towards Gal with Steel Wing.

Gal crossed his arms across his chest to block the Aura surge, the blue flames washing over and around his guard. When Aaron's attack ran out of juice and he saw Charla coming towards him, he raised his left arm and lashed out with Fury Swipes, making contact with her wing and knocking her off-balance, sending her tumbling from the sky and rolling across the ground in an undignified heap. As she struggled to unravel herself from her wings and get back up, Gal leaped into the air and drew back his fist for a Hammer Arm attack that would crush the Charizard's skull in.

Unfortunately for Gal, Aaron got there first, standing over Charla and retaliating with a punch of his own, the two fists clashing with an impact that shook the room and sent a shockwave rippling out that blew Aaron's fur back and caused Gal's flaming mane to flicker wildly. Charla aimed her head over Aaron's shoulder and spat a Dragon Rage energy ball at Gal, the sphere smashing into the mutated Infernape's chest and exploding in a blast that flung him backwards, tumbling head over heels. Raiki leaped up to meet him, sword flashing through the air as he sailed past him and landed on the ground. Gal crashed to the floor behind him on his head. Raiki smirked…

Until his sword shattered. As the Raichu gawked at the broken hilt he was holding, Gal chuckled cruelly and flipped back onto his feet. The flames on his head blazed outward and engulfed him in fire. He somersaulted forwards, the fire rippling around him to create a Flame Wheel of tremendous size rolling towards the shocked Raiki. Charla surged to her feet and ran past the Raichu, catching the wheel in both claws, the strength behind the fireball pushing her back and causing her to dig her claws and tail into the ground to keep from being knocked over, but she managed to stop it, sweat rolling down her face at the effort of holding it in place. Aaron touched Raiki's shoulder, snapping the samurai back to reality. With a sigh, he dropped the hilt and ran over to one side of the roaring Flame Wheel, while Aaron took a position at the other. Drawing back their fists, they concentrated their power and hit Gal from either side with a Focus Punch, the blast dissipating the flames and leaving the startled Infernape vulnerable. With a wicked grin, Charla reared her head back then lunged forward with a Skull Bash, smashing her cranium into Gal's and snapping his head back. As he staggered back, the trio hit him with a triple Focus Punch to the gut, the power behind their fists so strong it flung Gal into the air and into the nearest lava pit.

Although the Draconian soldiers cheered, Team Auraforce did not, knowing it would not be over so easily. They were right; the lava bubbled, the room shook, and rocks fell from the ceiling. Lava Plumes erupted all over the place and the ground before Team Auraforce buckled and split as Gal erupted out of it, cloaked in flame. Roaring with fury so great it cracked the walls, Gal launched himself towards them with a terrific Flare Blitz. Undaunted, the Rescue Team rose up to meet him, Aaron dashing forward with ExtremeSpeed as Aura covered his form, Raiki charging alongside him on all fours surrounded with the golden nimbus of Volt Tackle, and a blazing Charla leaping off the ground and gliding beside them as she used a Flare Blitz of her own. The four Pokémon collided with an impact that rocked the entire volcano and caused more lava geysers to erupt around them, flames and Aura and electricity bursting off of their forms as they pushed against each other, and pushed, and kept pushing…

Finally, someone gave. Shockingly, it was Team Auraforce. Their protective coronas shattered by the raw power behind Gal's Flare Blitz, the mutated Infernape slammed into them, triggering an explosion that sent them flying in all directions. Before they crashed, Gal hit the ground running, catching up to Aaron and rising into the air to hit him in the spine with a Mach Punch that nearly snapped him in half, causing the Lucario to gasp in pain as he was flung higher into the air. Gal grinned and prepared to attack again…

When Charla, who had spread her wings and managed to regain her equilibrium, slammed into him and knocked him away from Aaron. As he shrieked in rage and bit and clawed at her, Charla spun while flying, using an aerial Submission to batter and daze the monstrous monkey. Dizzy and enraged, Gal set himself on fire, causing the flames to engulf Charla as well as they spun about through the air. Gritting her teeth, the Charizard refused to let the pain to get her, even managing to stifle a scream when Gal dug his teeth into her shoulder. Instead, she rose up as high as she could go in the limited space available to her in the cavern, and then zoomed back down, using her momentum to hurl Gal at the ground as hard as she could with Seismic Toss. As the Monkey King hurtled towards the floor like a flaming missile, Aaron, who had recovered while Charla had kept Gal occupied, hurled Raiki to intercept him. The Raichu flipped in the air, charging power to his tail, and smashed into Gal with an Iron Tail that knocked him back towards the ceiling, where Charla hit him with an Iron Tail of her own, sending him flying towards the ground…

And the Aura-charged staff Aaron had flung at him. Like before, Gal caught it between his hands, and also like before, it caused him to burst into flames. _Unlike_ before, however, Gal refused to let it get the better of him, and used the momentum from his fall to flip over, raise the staff in his hands, and bring it crashing down on Aaron's head. Aaron caught it between his palms, however, and twisted about, flinging Gal over his shoulder and causing him to smash into the ground on his back. As he struggled to get him, Charla smashed into his gut with a diving Take Down, causing his eyes to bulge in pain as he spat up lava. She grabbed the stunned monster, hefted him into the air with her tremendous strength, spun about to bash him away with her Iron Tail…

And then Gal caught the tail in one hand, landing on his feet with a thud and holding her tail flame dangerously close to his mouth. Charla froze, her eyes widening in horror. Aaron and Raiki stiffened and started forwards, until Gal said, "None of you take one step closer or I will snuff out her tail flame as easily as blowing out a candle. And you all know what that would mean, wouldn't it?"

"…I'll die…" Charla whispered, so shocked she didn't dare to move or even breathe.

The evil king grinned. "That's right. You will."

"Gal. I warn you…if you do this, I cannot be held responsible for what I will do to you," Aaron said coldly, Aura flickering around him.

"Gal, I knew you were a heartless bastard…but I figured even you wouldn't sink this low!" Raiki said angrily.

Gal laughed. "You thought wrong. In the game of life, there is nothing I won't do to survive. I was looking forward to ravishing her in front of her husband…but I think killing her will suffice, don't you?" He opened his mouth and inhaled. Charla tensed. Aaron and Raiki started running, although there was no way they could make it in time. The Draconians looked on in helpless horror, not knowing what they could possibly do.

And then…

A miracle occurred.

Something inside of Charlie, who had been watching the entire battle from the sidelines so quietly that everyone had forgotten he was there, snapped back into place. His eyes came back into focus, and his tail flame, which had dwindled down to a dying ember, abruptly exploded out into a blaze so hot it burned bluish-white and melted the nearby stone. "GET YOUR CLAWS OFF MY WIFE, YOU BASTAAAARD!" he shouted as he surged to his feet, strength unlike any he'd ever felt before filling his weakened and broken body. As he had so many times in the past, he pulled on his chains with all his might. Just as they had so many times in the past, the chains held.

The wall they were attached to, on the other hand, did not, shattering into chunks of rock which collapsed to the ground while others, still attached to Charlie's chains, were dragged along behind him as he charged towards Gal. As Gal turned his head in astonishment, jaw dropping in disbelief, Charlie swung his limbs forward, causing the chains fastened to them to whizz through the air and smash the rocks at their ends into Gal, the stones shattering as he was flung back, releasing Charla's tail. "Guuhhhh!"

"That's what you get for touching my girl, you asshole!" Charlie snarled. "And there's a lot more coming for what you did to me and Allen!"

"Ch-Charlie?" Charla stammered incredulously.

He managed a smirk. "Hey, babe! You miss me?" Charla responded by enveloping her husband in an Ursaring hug, weeping with joy. Charlie was weeping too, but from pain. "Ow, ow! Mind the broken bones…and the bruises…and the open sores…"

"No way…" whispered the amazed Raiki.

Aaron grinned. "Well, isn't _this_ a welcome turn of events?"

"In the name of the King! I didn't think he could snap out of it so easily!" said an astonished Draconian Dragonair.

"The power of love can do many things…even the impossible…" Roo said in wonder.

"Grr…you…you still have not learned your lesson, whelp?" Gal snarled as he staggered back to his feet, wiping lava-blood from his jaw. "Do you believe this rebellion will end any differently from the rest? I am your master now! You have no power against me!"

Charlie snorted. "Ha, you really don't have a clue, do you? I may not have my wings or be in a condition Nurse Joy or any sane medical practitioner would allow into a fight…but I have my wife and two of my best pals here beside me. Do you really think I can lose now that they're here and I'm back to my senses?"

"Heh, that's the way to tell him, Charlie!" Raiki said.

"Gal, you thought you had difficulty against us before? Now it's going to be completely impossible for you to win," Aaron taunted.

"We've had enough of your douchebaggery…it's time to finish you once and for all!" Charla agreed.

"You still defy me? Do you not realize that as king of this mountain, I will fight to my last breath?" Gal howled as he gathered power, the room shaking as he burst into flame.

"Yeah, that's kind of the idea!" Raiki quipped.

As flames and lava spouts erupted all over the room, Team Auraforce and their new/old friend charged towards Gal, ready to put the Monkey King out of his misery for good. The final battle for Mt. Blaze had truly begun.

…

Meanwhile, in Pueltown…

"Noooo! How could this be?" Maren cried in horror as the three monsters on her field exploded. "Rayquaza the Sky Dragon, Kyogre the Tormentor, Winged Groudon of Ra…three of the most powerful beasts in the game, and you destroyed them so easily?"

"Against the light of Blue Eyes Shining Dragonite, Ralse, not even the gods are safe!" Gary said, gesturing dramatically to the monster on his field, a brilliant Dragonite in blue and white cybernetic armor radiating white light. "And now that your field is clear, it's time to end this! I use the Spell Card De-Fusion to split Blue Eyes Shining Dragonite back into its component monsters, the three Blue Eyes White Dragonites!" The Blue Eyes Shining Dragonite shimmered and split apart into three unarmored white Dragonites with blue eyes, as their name implied. "Since your life points are almost nine thousaaaaaand, Blue Eyes Shining Dragonite's attack points aren't high enough to defeat you…but by separating it back into the three 'lesser' Blue Eyes, whose combined power is _exactly_ nine thousaaaaaand, I can defeat you in a single turn!"

"Oh nooooooooooooo!" Maren wailed in melodramatic horror.

"Draco! Finisssh him!" Evan cried joyfully.

"That's exactly what I intend to do, my love!" Gary said, pointing dramatically at the trembling Maren. "Now, my dragons, it's time to end this! BLUE EYES, OBLITER-"

He was interrupted when there were a series of explosions from somewhere above the stage, causing sparks to rain down on the set. Gary frowned and glared at the three Dragonites. "Uh, I think you jumped your cue a little, guys."

The painted trio exchanged puzzled looks. "Wasn't us," one of them said.

Maren frowned and glanced at the rafters above them. "What's going on?" she murmured, getting a vague feeling of dread.

There were more explosions, and everyone jumped as some sandbags and spotlights fell, along with some portions of Meowthwalk as a giant flaming Octillery tumbled from the rafters and crashed into the stage, crushing one of the stairways leading up to Evan's balcony and caving part of the floor in. As its tentacles waved about wildly, trying to catch the cloaked figure with the sword like moonlight who was dancing around its body, striking all over the place and drawing lava-like blood and severing tendrils which only grew back moments later, the monster knocked over the statuette nearby and Maren's platform, forcing the Togetic to take to the air to keep from falling off. "Wh-what's going on? This wasn't in the script!" she cried.

"Unlesss there were sssome lassst-minute revisssionsss we weren't made aware of," said the dumbfounded Evan.

"The Spirit? What are you doing here?" Gary cried to his singing tutor.

"Gary! I must apologize for crashing the set and ruining your big debut, my friend here was a little more unruly than I expected," the Spirit grunted as he fended off the Octillery's searching tentacles with his glowing blade.

"I am no friend of yours, fool!" the Octillery snarled, flames dripping off his massive form and setting small fires all over the stage. "Nor of Team Nightshade's! For trying to defend those unworthy fiends, you shall die along with them!"

"Have you looked in the mirror lately? If anyone here's a fiend, it's you," the Spirit pointed out. The Octillery howled in fury and exhaled a stream of flames, the Spirit forced to dodge out of the way as it shot past him and struck the backdrop, setting it on fire. Evan looked up in panic as it started collapsing on top of him, and he shrieked and slithered off the balcony just before the whole thing came down, crushing the set piece.

Hissssa gasped. "EVAN!" Without even thinking about it, she surged forward, smashing through the doors she had been stuck in and demolishing the surrounding walls and the divider between Jerry's booth and the couple next door, falling to the floor of the theater and frantically slithering towards the stage, not caring how many people's feet she crushed in the process.

"Oh my!" said the startled Purugly.

"She could have at least said goodbye," her husband the Granbull sniffed.

Jerry sweatdropped. "Why didn't she just do that in the first place?"

As the audience murmured in bewilderment and most of the actors on stage ran in terror, a screaming monstrous Heracross seated in what looked like a miniature hot rod fell from the ceiling next, crashing into Gary's platform. The Gengar went transparent before he could get hit, however, so the vehicle went right through him. "Well, that was weird…" he murmured as he regained solidity. "Wait…why do these guys look…familiar…"

Falling bugs in cars weren't the last thing to drop from the rafters. A flaming Cherrim was next, spinning about in the air as he hurled flaming petals at the Ninjask who kept trying to ram and slash him, her powerful and swift blows only barely managing to be repelled by the fiery aura surrounding the paradoxical Pokémon. "Ugh, just go away already!" the Cherrim cried.

"Not until the threat to my beloved is terminated!" the Ninjask snarled.

Maren gasped. "Janine!"

"Hello, lover," Janine said as she dodged a spiral storm of flaming petals and hurled kunai in retaliation. "I told you I'd make it to tonight's performance, didn't I?"

"What…what's going on? Who are those people? Why are they battling on my stage? Don't they know there's a show going on?" Hayzee screamed from offstage, clearly going through a nervous breakdown. "They're…they're ruining my premiere…everything I've worked on…all the hours of practicing and rehearsing…and it's all being destroyed in a single night? Noooo! I'm ruined!" Throwing her script into the air, the Sunflora collapsed to the floor in tears.

Mary felt a twinge of guilt. Was this what Gary had meant when he said that no matter where they went, disaster and destruction and broken dreams followed? "Don't worry," the Medicham said as she shed her costume. "We'll take care of it!"

"What are you talking about?" Hayzee burbled deliriously. "You're a blade of grass! Grass can't do anything!"

Mary's eye twitched. "We'll see about that…" she growled as she ran onto the stage.

"Ahhh, it looks as if the gang's all here," the Octillery crooned as he saw Mary enter the scene. "While our reunion was a little premature, I suppose there's no reason not to take advantage of it now that everyone is in position." He twitched a tentacle, and walls of flame arose on the edges of the stage, blocking all avenues of escape. "Now we can at long last have our revenge, with an entire theatre full of people to witness your demise!"

"Huh? Revenge? What are you talking about?" Gary said in confusion.

"Yeah, who _are_ you guysss?" Evan hissed.

"You mean you don't remember us?" the flaming Cherrim snarled.

"Were we just more little people for you to step on as you continued on your rampage of destruction and greed? Did our names and faces not engrave themselves in our memory, because you have done what you did to us to so many people you don't even _notice_ the lives you ruin anymore?" the Octillery demanded, flames rising in anger. "If that is the case, then we will not only be avenging ourselves, but all the others whom you have wronged, when we kill you all!"

"Kill you all! Kill you all!" the Heracross slavered as he righted his vehicle and drove it off the platform, spinning in a circle and burning tire marks into the stage.

Maren gasped as she suddenly realized she recognized the design of the hot rod…and the Pokémon sitting in it. "No…oh Arceus, no…"

"T-T-Torque?" Mary cried in horror.

Evan gasped and took another look at the Cherrim. "The Mayor of Pueltown?"

"…Gooey? Gooey, is that you?" Gary whispered in astonishment, eyes widening as he stared at the Octillery. "You're…you're _alive_?"

"Yes! It is we, and we are more than alive!" Gooey snarled. "Gooey the Destroyer!"

"Sakurai the Harvester!" the Cherrim declared.

"Bug Fink the Wild Mon!" the Heracross drooled.

"You ruined our lives and broke our dreams without a second thought as you sought riches and power…you left us to die and face the consequences of your actions without guilt or remorse!" Gooey bellowed. "But we rose from the ashes and banded together in our hatred for you, letting darkness into our hearts so that we would have the power to make you pay for what you did to us! We three brothers, TEAM PERDITION!"

"Perdition! Perdition! Perdition!" Sakurai and Bug Fink chanted.

"Wh-what?" Mary gasped.

Maren groaned. "I knew the things we did would come back to bite us sooner or later…"

"Gooey…I don't…I don't understand," Gary stammered, unsure whether to be overjoyed or horrified. "You're alive? But…how? We thought you were dead!"

"It might have been better if I was! Death would be a mercy compared to what I went through!" Gooey shouted angrily. "When you killed that Devil Golem in Volcano Cave, my burnt corpse absorbed the remnants of its demonic power and gave me new life…and in the process, damned me to the Abyss! Do you have any idea what it feels like to be horribly burnt to a crisp in lava, then have the very essence of pure evil itself enter your form, restart your heart, and reanimate you, twisting and turning you into a monster as your soul is filled with such hatred and spite it's all you can do to keep from killing everything in sight due to the feeling of pure loathing towards every other living thing?"

"No," Evan said.

"You will by the time we're through with you!" Gooey roared.

"G-Gooey…you don't understand! It was an accident!" Gary protested.

"An accident? An ACCIDENT?" Gooey shouted, the flames writhing hotter and hotter. "You kidnapped me and dragged me into an active volcano! You used me as a squirt gun and a projectile! YOU THREW ME INTO A GIANT MONSTER MADE OF LAVA AND EVIL AND LEFT ME TO DIE! You call _that_ an _ACCIDENT_?"

"W-we were hazing you!" Mary cried.

Gooey glanced at her. "Hmm?"

"Gary wanted to make you a permanent member of our team. The crap we did to you was a sort of initiation," the Medicham said.

Evan nodded. "Yeah, he did the sssame to all of usss when we joined!"

"…He didn't do it to me," Maren said.

"Oh, that's because you're not part of the team," Mary said. Maren's eye twitched.

"Hazing? You call what you did to me HAZING? I _DIED!_" Gooey howled.

"You got better," the Spirit pointed out.

"You call _this_ better?" Gooey demanded, gesturing at himself.

"Gooey…th-things went a little too far, okay? I-I know that. Evan was an idiot for throwing you, yeah, but…it was my fault that you were there in the first place. I should never have t-treated you like that," Gary whispered, eyes brimming with tears. "You have no idea how upset I was when you died. We made you an official member of the Team posthumously, held a memorial service, cried a lot and everything…oh, and tied Evan to a pole and didn't feed him for several days."

"Yeah, I didn't enjoy that very much," Evan said.

"I did," Mary said. "Well, except for the seasickness."

"…You mourned for me?" Gooey asked in surprise.

"Yeah! We all did!" Gary said firmly, which wasn't entirely true, but he didn't think that relevant to point out right then. "We were all horrified and saddened by what happened. We knew what we did was wrong. We knew there was no way to make up for what we did. We've been carrying that guilt inside of us ever since…haunting us with the memory of how far we are from being true heroes. How everyone's expectations or lack thereof for us are…one hundred percent accurate. We aren't a Rescue Team. We're failures. We can't seem to go anywhere without causing some disaster or hurting someone…we're terrible Pokémon who don't deserve to wear the badge or scarf. You have no idea how sorry we are, Gooey. I wish what we did to you…to _all_ of you could be taken back. You didn't deserve that. Nobody did." Gooey blinked, surprised by this admonition.

"Er, wait, what _did_ we do to all of you?" Evan asked. "I mean, yeah, I threw Gooey into a volcano, Mary and Maren ssstole a trophy that probably got Torque into a lot of trouble-"

"Trouble? TROUBLE?" Bug Fink howled, gibbering as foam flecked from his teeth.

"You cost him his career and his car!" Sakurai said. "The authorities made a scapegoat of him since they couldn't catch you, so now he can never race again, and the hot rod he's riding in now is the closest he'll ever get to his beloved Mach 6 again!"

"Mach 6…Mach Siiiiiiiiiix…" Torque whimpered, bursting into big greasy tears.

Mary's heart sank to the bottom of her stomach as she realized all of a sudden that this was her fault, that what Gary had told her after fleeing Summerland had been right. She _had_ done the wrong thing. She _had_ doomed poor Torque, who'd only been trying to help them. Gary was right. They weren't heroes. They weren't even close to it… "Torque, I…I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry…"

"So am I," Maren said quietly. "What we did to you was wrong, and if we could do it all over differently, we would in an instant."

"Yesss, but what _did _we do to you, Mayor guy?" Evan asked Sakurai. "I mean, thingsss ssseemed fine when we left Chicole Town. You bribed usss not to tell anyone about your tourissst-fleecccing scam, we left with a boatload of casssh…and a broken heart…"

"What did you do? What did you do? What you did was seduce my town's main attraction away from us!" Sakurai snarled. "After you left, Hissssa decided to quit working for us and go after you, and without her, that meant the town would lose its primary source of revenue since nobody would want to come and see a boring old fishing village where nobody got eaten by giant monsters, and none of our sons would ever be able to afford university education again! By stealing Hissssa's heart, you doomed our future generations to a lifetime of obscurity, ignorance, and fishing!"

Evan laughed nervously. "Oh. Uh, whoopsss…wait, did you sssay Hissssssa decccided to come after me?"

"Of course she did, you idiot!" Sakurai snapped, gesturing at Hissssa, who was frantically trying to push her way through the barrier surrounding the stage. "She's right over there! Can't you see her?"

Evan gasped. "Hissssssa!"

"Evan!" Hiss cried.

"Don't worry baby, we'll get you out of there in no time!" Ssa promised.

"And then we can make hot ssserpentine love all night long!" both heads said.

"Oh boy!" Evan said eagerly as the rest of his team blanched in disgust.

"No…you _won't_ be doing that…" Gooey snarled, regaining his fury. "Because we're going to kill all of you right now!"

"Gooey…" Gary whispered.

"What? But we sssaid we were sssorry and everything!" Evan protested.

"'Sorry' doesn't cut it, Evan," Mary said morosely. "Not after what we did." Was this what it was like to feel 'responsibility?' It felt terrible. She found herself wondering if her mother and aunts ever felt this way about her, considering how big a disappointment she probably was to them…was it any wonder Gary didn't love someone as horrible as her?

Sakurai nodded. "That's right! Apologies are not enough. They never are. The only thing that can make up for your sins is _blood._ Oh, and ectoplasm."

"Blood! Blood! Blood! Blood!" Bug Fink howled gleefully.

"We've been waiting a long time for this," Gooey continued gleefully. "To make you pay for what you did! After I rose from the depths of Volcano Cave reborn, I hunted after you using my newfound affinity for detecting pieces of the Magnificent Compass, which I gained due to absorbing the leftovers of the guardian of one of its fragments. Wherever I went, I found the shattered lives you left in your wake, like-minded individuals like myself who were more than willing to become united in power and purpose with but one goal: to destroy Team Nightshade utterly!"

"After using Gooey's power to figure out which Compass piece you were most likely to go after next, we got here ahead of you and poisoned the actors for Hayzee's play, knowing you would eventually come asking about her Compass piece and would no doubt have to take the place of her hospitalized performers in order to get it from her, allowing us the chance to kill you on stage before hundreds of people, so that your deaths would be talked about all over the continent as well as your crimes, so all would be aware of the extent of your evil and know you had obtained a fitting demise, just like all villains who die in theatrical performances do!"

"Wow, that's ridiculously convoluted," Maren said. "Couldn't you have just killed us and gotten it over with without making a big production of it all?"

"Yes, but then it wouldn't have been as dramatic or satisfying," Gooey said.

"And aren't _you_ the villains, technically?" Mary asked. "Since you're trying to kill us?"

"Ah, but you said yourself you aren't heroes. Therefore you must be villains, making _us_ the heroes of this piece!" Sakurai said triumphantly. "Or antiheroes, at least. It's sort of a gray area. But the audience usually sympathizes with those who have been tragically wronged and seek retribution for the crimes committed against them, so they'll view our actions in a more positive light, won't you folks?" The audience shrugged and made various noncommittal sounds. Some Pokémon agreed, others disagreed, but the majority seemed neutral. Sakurai sweatdropped. "Huh. Tough crowd."

The Spirit chuckled. "That's because they've _seen_ this before! Do you think you're the first revenge-crazed psychopaths who tried to execute their vengeance on stage before a live audience? This is Pueltown, Almiore's capital of drama and the arts! That sort of thing happens all the time!"

Sakurai blinked. "It…does?" The Spirit and everyone in the audience nodded. "Oh. Well…this is awkward."

"Ooooops," Bug Fink said Mareepishly.

"And whenever it happens…" the Spirit swished his laser sword through the air. "_I_ am always on hand to put a stop to it, as is my sworn duty as guardian of this city!"

"Why do you interfere?" Gooey asked.

"I just told you, because-" the Spirit started.

"No, I don't mean in general, I meant in this instance," Gooey clarified. "Why are you standing up for them? They are not worth it! _We_ are the wronged ones here! Because of them, our lives were ruined! Should you not help us seek justice for the evils they have committed against us?"

"Everywhere they go, they cause ruin and chaos, sometimes without even meaning to," Sakurai reasoned. "Wouldn't the world be better off without Pokémon like them, so that people may breathe easier without having to worry about some idiots blundering in and ruining everything they've worked for all their life?"

Bug Fink nodded vigorously. "Team Nightshade bad! They gotta go! Phhhlllbbbttt!" he said, blowing a Razz Berry at the not-even-remotely-heroes.

"…M-maybe they're right. Maybe…maybe the world would be better off without us…" Gary said miserably. "Before, we did nothing but bad stuff. We tried to become good, but we keep _doing_ bad stuff anyway. The world needs heroes, not…whatever we are…"

"No matter what we do, no matter how hard we try…ssshit keepsss happening," Evan agreed unhappily.

"Maybe we should just stop trying…" Mary whimpered, and a disconsolate Maren was starting to consider the same thing. She had hoped that she might be able to reform Team Nightshade, to subtly influence them and make them better people. Not only had that turned out rather badly, ever since the incident in Summerland she had been starting to fear she was going to turn out just like them. And what could the Mirage Kingdom, or Janine, possibly do with someone like that?

"…You are all being fools," the Spirit said.

The four Pokémon started. "Huh?" Gary exclaimed.

"What are you talking about?" Gooey demanded.

"Team Perdition, you claim that Team Nightshade has wronged you a great deal. And while that may be the case, is not your method of seeking restitution even worse than what they did to you? The personal destruction they caused to you was accidental. But in trying to get revenge, you turned yourself into monsters, poisoned several innocent Pokémon, and intended to execute before a live audience a group whose only real crime is, perhaps, not being as competent or good as they would like to be," the Spirit said. "So they are flawed. So they are not perfect. What of it? Sometimes the greatest of artists and heroes arise from the roughest of starts. I have already seen the glimmerings of greatness in them. Evan's natural talent, Gary's voice, which, after a little polish, is almost as good…and the other skills I see sleeping within their comrades, like diamonds hidden in the rough. All they need is a little polish…and I believe they can become among the greatest of champions! And by seeking to stifle that polish, to kill them rather than letting bygones be bygones and trying to start anew…you are denying yourselves your own chance to shine, by steeping your hearts in darkness and becoming the very demons you make Team Nightshade out to be." Gooey's brow furrowed at this concept.

"He's right, Dad!" Jerry cried as he lowered himself from the rafters on a sandbag.

Sakurai gasped in surprise. "Jerry? What are you doing here?"

"I came to stop you, Dad, along with Hissssa!" Jerry said, gesturing at the two-headed Seviper, who was still trying to break through the barrier surrounding the stage. "I know you're angry, and I know you think they've ruined everything, but it's not that bad! Chicole has survived without a giant monster to serve as a tourist attraction before, and we can do it again! I know we may not have as much money and other nice things to throw around, and it'll be harder to save up the cash needed to get everyone into the colleges of their choice…but while it's difficult, it's by no means as impossible as you make it seem! And aside from that…even if the damage they did _was_ as bad as all that, that doesn't mean Team Nightshade deserves to die. Gary was absolutely determined to save Evan when he thought Hissssa had dragged him off to his death, and he swore he'd do the same for me, despite my telling him repeatedly he didn't need to and trying to drive him away before he could discover our secret. A lesser person would have just given up and left…but Gary refused to do that, because he never wanted to leave anyone else behind again, because he wanted to prove that he could be a hero!"

Gary's eyes widened in amazement. "Spirit…Jerry…"

"I don't care what you've done! I don't care if you caussse lotsss of trouble everywhere you go, ssso do I!" Hiss said.

"You're the mon I love! Even if you were the ssson of a demon, I'd still fight for you, no matter what!" Ssa said.

"Hissssssa…" Evan whispered, eyes watering up. "Oh, and jussst for the record, there'sss lotsss of people who sssay my mom _isss_ a demon…and not jussst in the sssack, either, if you know what I mean."

"Maren helped to ruin your lives? What of it? Your insignificant lives mean nothing to me compared to hers," Janine said savagely. "No matter what she does, she is the womon I gave my heart to, and I would tear down the sky to protect her…unless she betrayed our country, that is. Then I'd have to kill her."

"Oh, Janine!" Maren cried, clasping her hands to her chest. "That's the most romantic thing you've ever said about me!" The others gave her weird looks.

_But what about me?_ Mary thought forlornly when nobody spoke up in her defense. _Isn't there anything about _me_ worth fighting for? Doesn't anybody care about me? Or am I nothing more than a heartless bitch with no redeemable qualities…other than being a good piece of grass? Is that really all I'm good for?_

"You would risk your lives to protect them? _All_ of them?" Gooey asked in amazement.

The newcomers nodded. "Without a doubt!" the Spirit said.

"Though…I'm not very good at fighting…but I can provide moral support or something, I guess…" Jerry said uneasily.

"Then…then we have no choice but to kill all of you!" Sakurai snarled angrily. "Except for you, son. We'll just knock you out so you don't have to take part in any of this or see what we're going to do to them."

Jerry sweatdropped. "Gee, thanks Dad…"

"Even after hearing so many testimonies in their favor, you still choose the path of destruction?" the Spirit asked in disappointment.

"We must! We have sworn ourselves to this course of action. To do any less then destroy Team Nightshade would be treason to us!" Gooey said, tentacles flailing angrily.

"It is why we exist…our reason for living! To destroy them!" Sakurai said.

"Destroy! Destroy! DESTROY!" Bug Fink howled.

"Gooey…" Gary said quietly. "We don't have to do this…"

"Oh, but we do! We most certainly do!" Gooey roared. "We shall have our revenge, no matter what the cost!"

As Gary's face sagged in despair, the Spirit sighed and shook his head. "Why must they always choose the hard way? Very well. If a fight is what you desire…then that is what you shall get! Team Nightshade, those who seek to protect them, join me! As they say in theater, 'the show must go on,' and those nice people in the theater paid to see one heck of a show, so let's give them the best we've got!"

Mary blinked. "Shouldn't we be evacuating them or something?"

"What, and give up these seats? No way!" someone in the audience shouted.

"I was on the waiting list for tonight's performance for three weeks, I'm not running out now just because there's going to be a big battle onstage!" someone else said.

"We paid good money to see a show, and that's exactly what we want! Give us what we paid for!" yet another Pokémon said.

The Spirit laughed when he saw the surprised looks on everyone's faces. "What did you expect? This is Pueltown! The people of this city can never resist a good piece of drama!" He swished his cloak dramatically. "Come now! Let us give them a showstopping finale the likes of which they'll be talking about for decades!"

"The only finale will be yours, when we burn your bodies to ashes and rip your souls from your still-living flesh!" Gooey rumbled.

"For denying my village its future, I will destroy any chance you have of getting one of your own!" Sakurai said.

"!" Bug Fink shouted.

"Gooey…all of you…I don't want to fight you, but if there's no other choice…then bring it!" Gary said.

"I'm sssorry for what we did, but I'm not gonna let you kill usss jussst ssso you can feel better!" Evan hissed.

"And we'll be right up there to help!" Hiss said.

"Asss sssoon asss we can get through thisss," Ssa complained as she continued banging against the barrier.

"Dad…I'm sorry, but I can't let you do this! I'll fight you to my last breath!" Jerry said.

"Maren, we shall destroy them together," Janine said. "Just like on a mission. Do not let your regrets or guilt cloud your judgment, this is a fight for our very survival!"

Maren nodded. "I know, Janine. And I won't fail…so long as you're with me; I know that everything will be all right!"

_But what about me? Will anything ever turn out for me?_ Mary thought miserably. _…Maybe not, but I can't just stand back and do nothing while the others fight. This is my responsibility, too. It's partly because of me that all this is happening. It's time we finally faced the consequences for our actions…and if we die, it's probably nothing less than we deserve._ She narrowed her eyes, steeling herself. _But if I die, then I'll die fighting…it's exactly what Mom would do, and maybe it's high time I started acting more like her!_

"What heroic nonsense," Gooey sneered. "DESTROY THEM!"

"Gladly!" Sakurai said, flaming petals swirling around him.

"!" Bug Fink shrieked, revving his motor.

As the orchestra quickly started playing an improvised, almost operatic overture they felt most appropriate for a final battle of this magnitude, and the two sides began their epic clash on stage, and Hissssa continued to pound against the barrier to aid her lover, the Granbull turned to his wife and said, "You know, I don't recall any of _this_ being in the original version of _Maria and Draco_ either."

"Neither do I," the Purugly said. "It's rather an exciting turn of events though, isn't it? There's simply no telling what happens next!"

"Well of course there is, the heroes will win, that's how it always is in theatre," the Granbull said.

"Unless it's a tragedy, in which case they'll all die," the Purugly pointed out.

The Granbull raised an eyebrow. "Dear, the town guardian is fighting alongside a Gengar in a suit of armor, a male Ekans in a dress, a Medicham playing a blade of grass, a female Togetic dressed like a prince, a Cherubi, and a homosexual ninja against a demonically-powered Octillery, Cherrim, and Heracross in a miniature hot rod, while a giant two-headed Seviper that's the girlfriend of the male Ekans wearing a dress is trying to get on stage to join the fight. Does that _sound_ like a tragedy to you?"

"Ah, too true," the Purugly admitted. "That Hayzee girl has certainly done a marvelous job adapting this classic for modern times. I wonder what she'll come up with next?"

"Waaaaaahhhhhh! I'm ruined!" Hayzee wailed offstage, unaware how much people were enjoying her highly improvised show and expecting great things from her in the future.

…

Meanwhile, in Hyperbeamorea…

It felt as if the world was about to end. The city was falling apart around them. The ancient horror Leviathan had been revived and was circling in the water overhead. And the obnoxious demon Mewgle had been reborn, tearing himself out of poor Mickey's body in a literally gut-wrenching manner.

What were a bunch of incompetent Team Rocket members supposed to do about something like this?

"Okay, that was really gross," said a revolted Mondo.

"MICKEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" James screamed in raw anguish, staring in shock at the crumpled remains that were all that was left of his lover.

"Oh no, not _him _again," Jessie moaned.

"Look Sam, it's a demon!" Max said cheerfully. "Isn't he cute?"

"Yes, and he doesn't look nearly as stupid as the Soda Poppers, either," Sam agreed.

"No…" Wabbaku whispered in horror. "It is even worse than I had feared…"

"How can he be back? You said he'd been kicked out of Mickey for good, that he couldn't come back!" Gardenia cried.

"Actually, I said it was _unlikely_ that he could come back, not impossible," Wabbaku said.

"I almost didn't come back at all, thanks to that stupid hat and spell you were working on," Mewgle said as he floated towards them, water surging away from him in great currents as if disgusted to be anywhere near him. "But thanks to this city's chaos magic, I was resurrected from the traces of me lingering inside Mickey's soul…and soon, I'll be back to full power, and beyond!"

"Not if I banish you back to the Abyss first!" Wabbaku said, rummaging through his medicine bag. "I may not have been able to complete the potion to cure Mickey in time, but I _did_ finish my demon-banishing spell!"

Mewgle laughed as Wabbaku pulled out a stick with a glowing bulb tied to one end. "That old thing? Ha, nice try, but I'm far too powerful now for something like that to work!" He gestured lazily, and the stick disintegrated in the alarmed Wobbuffet's hand.

"We may not be able to banish you, but I'll bet we can kill you!" Gardenia said, raising her arms and firing needles at the demon.

"That won't work, I'm pretty sure demons are needleproof," Sam said.

"And bulletproof," Max added. "Not that that's going to stop us though, right?"

"Right," Sam said. He and Max pulled out their guns and happily fired away at Mewgle.

Mewgle grinned as the needles and bullets ricocheted off what appeared to be thin air, or rather, water. "A nice effort…well, no, not really…but you are incapable of harming me thanks to my Plot Armor! There is only one-well, okay, maybe two—people in this or any other world that can defeat me, and you are neither of them!"

"Plot Armor? What's that?" asked a confused Gardenia.

"It's when a character in a story manages to escape and survive situations that would and _should_ be lethal to absolutely anyone else for no other reason than because they're an important character and the writer doesn't want to kill them off," Sam explained.

Gardenia gave him a confused look. "…But we're not _in_ a story. This is real life!"

Sam and Max exchanged amused looks. "Ha, she needs to get a clue!" Max said.

"Because neither of you is my one true rival, you can't defeat or even _touch_ me! Such is the power of my Plot Armor!" Mewgle boasted. "Heh, isn't being a dangerously genre-savvy villain fun? And it'll be even more fun once I bond with Leviathan and use its power to become so strong that nobody, not even my rival, will ever be able to beat me again! And you losers will be the first to taste my new strength as I become the King of Games once more!" Laughing, he rose into the water, flying towards Leviathan.

"We have to go after him! If he does what I think he's about to do…something terrible will happen!" Wabbaku said.

"…Worse than it is _now?_" Gardenia cried in disbelief.

"Yes!" Wabbaku said. He pounded on the hull of the submarine. "Miss Jessie, we need to get this sub moving! It's the only way we can catch up to Mewgle in time!"

"We would, but the only one capable of operating the engine is in the middle of a breakdown due to watching his boyfriend get turned inside-out right in front of him!" Jessie shouted back.

"Mickeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!" James sobbed.

"I don't suppose either of you could pedal the motor?" Gardenia asked Sam and Max as they pulled themselves out of the submarine's robot arms.

"Sorry, but exercise and my little buddy don't really mix well," Sam said.

"And whenever Sam goes biking, he starts panting and whining and making a big stink in the literal and figurative sense. It's kind of pathetic, really. And he wonders why everyone keeps calling him overweight!" Max said.

Sam gave Max a pained look. "Max, you know how self-conscious I am about my weight…"

"I know, which is why I always get a kick out of mocking you for it!" Max said gleefully. Sam growled.

"James, you have to snap out of it! If you don't operate that motor, Miss Jessie will die! As well as the rest of us," Buzz said urgently.

"Good! Then maybe I'll be with Mickey," James sobbed.

"…You can't really mean you want to die, can you James?" asked an alarmed Mondo.

"What point is there in going on living without Mickey by my side? We were going to get m-m-m-_married_ after all this was over!" James wailed before hiccupping and continuing to weep disconsolately. "And now we never will…"

"Well, I guess we're done for, then," Jessie said flatly. "There's no talking to him when he starts crying so much it causes the water level to rise…and there's too much water in here already! Mondo, couldn't you have plugged the hole _before_ this much water got in?"

Mondo rolled his eyes. "Geez, are you always such a bitch?"

"Miss Jessie is not a bitch!" Buzz said firmly.

"Ye-e-e-e-e-e-e-s!" James moaned. Jessie bristled, but refrained from slapping him. For some reason, it didn't feel like that would be the right thing to do in that situation.

"Let me give it a try," Wabbaku said. "James, listen to me! I know a way we can bring Mickey back to life!"

James stopped crying. "You do?"

"You do?" Jessie, Mondo, and Buzz cried.

"You do?" Gardenia gasped.

"Hey look Sam, I can stick my arm down my throat all the way up to my elbow!" Max said, doing just that.

"Don't do that, Max, you're a choking hazard," Sam warned him.

"You…you can bring Mickey back to me?" James whispered in disbelief.

"Of course I can! I know more than a thing or two about spirits…and if I'm correct, then Mickey's soul is still inside of Mewgle somewhere. If we can get it out and reunite it with his body…" Wabbaku paused and glanced at the discarded pile of skin lying nearby. "Well…what's left of it, anyway…I may be able to bring him back to life. It's a bit of a long shot, but I'm willing to try it if you are."

"…" James wiped the tears from his face. "What do you need me to do?"

"Get to the back of the sub and start pedaling," Wabbaku said. "To get Mickey's soul, we need to go after Mewgle, and right now, this ship is the only thing that can do that!"

"Well, actually, so could our car," Max said.

"You mean the car that's got a boot on it and is missing its tires?" Sam said.

"Oh yeah, good point," Max said.

"All right," James said, wading through the water in the sub towards the set of pedals in the back. "I'll do it…for Mickey's sake! Let's go after that evil bastard and get our Mickey back!"

Wabbaku said. "That's the spirit! Gardenia, come help me get what's left of Mickey, we'll need it later."

She nodded and followed him to the pile of skin. "Right! Um…can you really do what you promised? Can you bring Mickey back to life?"

"…It'll be difficult, but there's a chance, albeit a small one. However, to even get that far, we have to somehow stop Mewgle!" Wabbaku said.

"Okay," Gardenia said. "How are we going to do that?"

"I'm…still working on that," the Wobbuffet admitted. The Cacnea sweatdropped.

"Think we should hitch a ride with them, Sam?" Max asked as the Magikarp submarine shuddered and slowly rose off the ground.

"Well, I suppose we should do something about that demon and the eldritch abomination up there. I doubt the Commissioner would be happy if we let something like that roam around unopposed," Sam said. "Hey, mind if we hitch a ride?" he asked Wabbaku and Gardenia as they scurried back carrying Mickey's empty husk.

Wabbaku gave them an appraising look. He had to admit, they possessed some talents that might come in handy…but they were so _weird_. And the spirits seemed afraid of the little white one, for some reason… "Well, perhaps…"

"Oh no, you don't! I don't want those two in my submarine!" Jessie shouted angrily. "They're _weird!_"

"Lady, you don't know the half of it!" Max laughed.

"But Miss Jessie, we could use all the help we can get," Wabbaku pointed out.

"Well…all right, but only if they ride on the roof," Jessie decided. "I don't want them getting anywhere near me. There's something…_odd_ about them. It's almost like they aren't Pokémon at all!"

"Oh, that's because we aren't," Sam said nonchalantly.

Everyone stared at them in disbelief. "You _aren't?_" Gardenia cried.

"Well, that explains a lot…" Wabbaku murmured. "I mean, I knew they were from another world, but they belong to another species as well? Incredible…and not that surprising, now that I think about it…"

"Oh, come on! What, are you humans or something?" Jessie asked, not believing it.

"No, but we know some people who claim to _be_ human," Max said.

"Eh, works for me," Mondo said.

Jessie sighed. "Ugh. Just…get on the roof and stay away from me!"

"All right. We've ridden in worse places, haven't we Max?" Sam asked as he and Max climbed onto the roof of the sub.

"Like where?" Max asked.

"I'd rather not remember those places, little buddy," Sam said.

"We'll join you," Wabbaku said as he and Gardenia climbed up after them. "Since James is pedaling, Mondo's plugging the hole in the sub, and Miss Jessie and Buzz are useless in water due to their wings, if we're going to confront Mewgle, it'll be up to us!"

"Let's go get him!" Gardenia cried.

"Right! For Mickey!" James declared, pedaling for all his worth.

And so the submarine set off…rather slowly…and listing quite a bit to one side due to Mondo taking up weight there. "Can't this thing go any faster?" Max complained.

"My feet can barely reach the pedals and I'm up to my waist in water, what do you expect?" James replied.

The people on the roof groaned. "We aren't going to make it in time, are we?" Gardenia asked unhappily.

Wabbaku sighed. "I'm afraid not…"

It did indeed seem to be too late. While Team Rocket and their new allies were mobilizing, Mewgle had already reached Leviathan and was making a sales pitch to the colossal monstrosity. "Great Leviathan, devourer of souls and destroyer of worlds, deadly creation of the Ruler of Evil…long time no see, huh buddy? We haven't seen each other since the end of the Crisis Wars. The others said that you'd been destroyed when you didn't turn up in the Abyss with the rest of us, but somehow I got the feeling that you'd managed to avoid the big round-up and conviction…and it looks like I was right on the money, wasn't I? Admittedly, being sealed beneath a city isn't much of a step up from being trapped in the Abyss, but at least here you got to sleep soundly without having to always keep one eye open to make sure somebody isn't going to try and steal your stuff. But I digress…both of us have suffered greatly over the years, managing to escape and continue to wreak havoc only to be captured and bound again by our enemies before we'd finished having fun. Well, phooey on them! Who are they to tell us what to do, huh?" Leviathan nodded in agreement. "Yeah, exactly! But now that we're both free, it seems to me we may be able to do a little something for each other. On our own, we were eventually defeated and imprisoned, and I don't really want to go through another few centuries locked up in a crumbly old tower while the world passes me by and I miss out on all the cool new gaming trends, and I bet you don't want to be buried under a city again, am I right?" Leviathan nodded again. "So how about this? On our own, we've lost. We want revenge for what was done to us, but there's a chance that if we seek it, we'll just get locked up again. Same old story, you know?" The demon grinned. "But…if we were to form a pact, and to combine our powers…then there'd be no stopping us. The Arcean Order, the Aura Guardians, the world's Rescue Teams and wizards and secret socieities and evil organizations, even Leo…none of them will be able to stop us!"

Leviathan bellowed, its cry like the screams of a million damned souls…which, actually, it was. Mewgle laughed. "I _thought_ you'd like the sound of that! So it's agreed, then? We will form an alliance to crush our enemies and everything else in our paths?" The giant serpent nodded. Mewgle grinned. "Excellent! Then let's legitimize it in the ways of old, to seal our bargain…" He flicked his wrists, and in one hand a blank card appeared, and a rather dim ball of light in the other. "Mighty Leviathan! I offer you this mortal soul in trade for the power you will bestow upon me. It may not be much more than a mouthful, admittedly, but I already gave you some appetizers to wake you up, and one more little snack before we get to the mainland and you _really_ get started should help you work up an appetite, right?"

"Wh…where am I?" the soul whispered in a frail, weak, pitiful voice. "Jimmy? Where are you? It's…it's so dark…"

Mewgle grinned malevolently. "And it's gonna get a _lot_ darker, Mickey…so, Leviathan? Do you accept my offering? Will you grant me your power?"

Leviathan opened its mouth and inhaled, causing the water around it to form a vortex sucking everything nearby into its jaws. Mewgle seemed unaffected by the suction, but the soul in his hand was not. With a shriek of pure, unadulterated horror, Mickey's spirit was pulled from Mewgle's clutches and dragged into the Leviathan's mouth. "Jimmy! HEEEEELP MEEEEEEEEEEE!" Mickey shrieked as the monster's teeth slammed shut like the clap of doom, sealing the poor Meowth's fate.

Mewgle laughed. "I'll take that as a yes!"

Apparently satisfied, Leviathan's eyes flashed, and bolts of energy shot from its orbs to the blank card in Mewgle's hand, striking it and causing a picture of the beast to form on its surface. Excess energy crackled off of the card and struck Mewgle in the chest, causing a mark shaped like a serpent eating its tail wrapped around a black dot, similar to the geoglyph burning around the city and in the water above it, to form on his abdomen. The mark started to glow, and Mewgle laughed gleefully as power surged throughout his body. "Oh yeah, baby! This is what I'm talking about! Ha…ahahaha…AHAHAHAHAHA!"

There was a flash of darkness, and then…

Mewgle…changed. His short legs and comically long feet were still short and still long, but the giant toes were replaced with extremely long and sharp talons stained with blood and the legs were larger than before. His long, ropy tail had thickened and the bulb at the end was replaced with a scorpion sting. Also, spikes lined the length of the tail. His fur was still white, but filthy, matted, and stained with copious amounts of blood. His tiny torso had swelled up into an enormous and extremely well-muscled chest with spines growing out of his front. His arms had elongated considerably and were bulging with muscles and spikes sprouting from the shoulders, elbows, and knuckles, which were now hairy and five fingers ending in jagged black claws. His purple wings had swollen out to form enormous demonic wings that were lit on fire that didn't seem to care that that was impossible underwater. Row upon row of crystal spikes grew out from his back in between the wings. His face was no longer cute and somewhat adorable, but had twisted into a gruesome, bestial mask of savagery, with a huge hanging lower jaw packed with seven rows of serrated teeth, nostrils which snorted flame, horns growing from the side of his head, and eyes that had become bulging bloodshot orbs with smoldering hatred and madness staring out through them. The ball at the end of his antenna had become a pod-shaped mouth that kept snapping open and closed, spitting acidic saliva everywhere while the antenna itself had thickened into a black tentacle with spines growing from the sides.

Wabbaku gasped as the submarine got in visual range and they saw Mewgle's new form. "No! We are too late!"

Gardenia groaned. "Aren't we always?"

"…Miss Jessie? I'm scared," Buzz whimpered.

Jessie swallowed. "So am I, Buzz. So am I."

Mondo sweatdropped. "I _really_ wasn't trained for this."

"Mickey! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" James screamed.

"Eh, still not impressed," Max said.

"You're very jaded, little buddy," Sam said.

"Sam, never say 'jaded' again," Max said.

Mewgle looked at his bulging muscles and monstrous frame in wonder and delight. "The power…the POOWWWEEERRR! It's even more wonderful than I had hoped…with this power, and you at my side, Leviathan, not even Leo will be able to defeat me! Or at least, he won't…after I get a few more _things_ for my master plan…mwehehehehe!" He turned towards the rather pathetic-looking Magikarp submarine, giving its occupants a grin so terrifying that most of them wet themselves on the spot. (Sam and Max didn't, of course, since they were made of sterner stuff.) "I'm more than strong enough, however, to take care of you losers…Leviathan, what say we start on the main course, huh?" The great abomination bellowed in agreement.

"Notgoodnotgoodnotgood…" Wabbaku whispered anxiously.

"I don't suppose you'd prefer to fight us in a children's card game instead?" Gardenia asked weakly.

Mewgle smirked. "Nah, I'm saving _those_ for Leo. But there _is_ another medium I'm fond of that I'd be more than happy to trounce you twerps in…TURN-BASED COMBAT!"

Wabbaku stared blankly. "This is going to suck, isn't it?"

"Oh yeah," Gardenia said flatly.

And then the world shattered, and psychedelic colors swirled violently everywhere, and everything spiraled and blacked out and irised back into view. Dramatic music started to play out of nowhere, and white letters spelling out 'Mewgle and Leviathan draw near!' appeared underneath the villains. Gardenia blanched and threw up, and since they were underwater her vomit floated some ways in front of her. "Eeuuughh…what _was _that?"

"I…do not know," said the disturbed Wabbaku. "That was even weirder than some of the concoctions I smoke sometimes to get in tune with the spirit realm."

"You mean pot?" Max asked.

"Eh? How do you smoke a pot? It's a clay bowl, not herbs," said a confused Wabbaku.

"He meant marijuana," Sam said.

"Oh. No, I never touch the stuff," Wabbaku said. "That doesn't get you in touch with the spirit realm, it just gives you hallucinations."

"What's the difference?" Max asked.

"One's real, the other isn't," Wabbaku said.

"…Again, what's the difference?" Max asked. Wabbaku sighed.

"Ah, I see you're new to the transition between normal play and turn-based combat," said Mewgle, who was floating in front of them.

"…Huh?" Wabbaku and Gardenia both said blankly.

Max shook his head pityingly. "Amateurs. Probably never played a video game in their lives, huh Sam?"

Sam nodded. "It looks that way, little buddy, the poor saps. Let me lay it to you straight: in the genre of video games known as RPGs—Role Playing Games—it's common for battles against random enemies to abruptly transition from the overworld where your characters wander about to a stylized battlefield—often with better graphics-where you and your opponent attack each other in turns, with you first taking one action, then they taking the other, and so on, though it may differ based on the speed stats of you or your enemy. This is called 'turn-based combat.' You keep taking turns until either the enemy is dead or you are. Simple as that."

"…I don't think I got any of that," said the confused Wabbaku.

"Wait, you fight in _turns?_ That doesn't make any sense!" said the confused Gardenia. "Why should you wait politely for an opponent to make a move before doing your own, or vice versa?"

Max snickered. "This from a Pokémon?"

Gardenia frowned. "What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

"Basically, Mewgle's warped reality so that we'll be fighting him in turn-based combat rather than something more realistic," Sam continued. "That's why we have these colored bars floating over our heads to indicate how much HP—or health points, or basically how much damage we can take before we die—floating over our heads."

Gardenia blinked and glanced upwards to see there was a green bar above her. "Oh yeah, I was wondering what that was."

Wabbaku frowned when he noticed that there were numbers floating above each bar…and Sam and Max's were _much _higher than his or Gardenia's. "Why do you have more HP than either of us?"

"Because we've been on more adventures, which translates into more experience, which translates into more EXP, which means we're at a higher level," Sam explained.

"Duh," Max said.

"Ah," Wabbaku said.

"When an enemy lands a blow on you, your bar goes down. When it hits zero, you die," Sam continued. "Naturally, the enemy—in this case, Mewgle and Leviathan—also have health bars, and if we can deplete all of theirs, they'll die instead and we'll win."

Gardenia gulped. "As in…we _actually_ for real die?"

"In most games, if the HP goes to zero it's considered more being knocked unconscious—for the player character anyway, it's death for the enemy—unless all the characters in your party are KOed, in which case it's game over," Mewgle said. "But this is _my_ game, with _my _rules, and if your bar gets too low…then you really, truly die and Leviathan will devour your souls! Bwahahahaha!"

"Then we will just deplete your HP instead, to free Mickey's soul as well as everyone else's within the beast, and save the world from your evil!" Wabbaku said.

Mewgle smirked. "Oh really? Take a closer look at our HP bars, dipshit!"

"What are you…" Wabbaku paled. "Oh my."

"Th-that's not possible!" Gardenia cried.

"Hey, that's dirty cheating!" Max cried.

"The kind that _we_ usually do, too!" Sam agreed.

The numbers above Mewgle's HP bar read 1,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000. Leviathan's, on the other hand, was an eight on its side, signifying infinity. "There's no way we can possibly beat that!" Gardenia cried.

Mewgle grinned. "That's the idea, stupid! Which means all of you have one turn to struggle and hope and desperately try to beat me…and then my new buddy and I will kill you horribly in _our_ turn! Gyahahahahahaha!"

"It seems as if we are truly lost…" Wabbaku moaned.

"Oh, quit whining already!" Max snapped.

Sam nodded. "Yeah, you're giving up too easily. Mewgle may be a blatant rotten cheater who's manipulated everything to his advantage, but you've got one thing going for you!"

"What's that?" Gardenia asked morosely.

"Us!" Sam said. "We're the Freelance Police, and we've never lost a case!"

"Yeah, just caused lots of collateral damage and possibly maimed and killed tons of innocent people in the line of duty," Max said with a bright smile.

"You're not helping, Max," Sam said as Gardenia and Wabbaku got even more nervous.

"That's the idea!" Max said.

Sam shook his head ruefully. "You crack me up, little buddy."

Mewgle giggled with delight. "You're right to fear, fools, because your demise is at hand! But you have to take your turns first. Wabbaku, you're up!"

"Huh?" Wabbaku blinked as a blue screen with the words 'Attack,' 'Defend,' 'Magic,' and 'Item' appeared before him. "What is this?"

"That's the menu you use to choose what actions to take in your turn," Sam explained. "It's pretty much self-explanatory, really. Pick 'Attack' and you attack a target, 'Defend' and you get into a defensive stance to blunt damage from an enemy attack, 'Magic' and you cast a spell if you know any, and 'Item' lets you use an item if you've got one."

Wabbaku frowned. "Hmm…well, I can't actually attack anyone directly…I'm good at defense, so might be able to withstand an attack or two, depending on its strength…but I think I have a better idea." He pressed 'Magic,' causing a second menu to pop up listing the spells he knew. He scrolled down until he found the one he was looking for, smiled, and touched it.

A blue box appeared over his head with the words 'Destiny Bond' in it. Purple light swirled around both him and Leviathan as a nearly invisible strand of light formed between them, connecting the shaman and the beast. Mewgle frowned. "Huh? What did you…oh, I see! Destiny Bond! You think that by linking your life to that of Leviathan's, when I kill you, Leviathan will be taken out as well, right?"

Wabbaku nodded. "That was the idea, yes."

Gardenia gasped. "Wabbaku, no! You can't sacrifice yourself like that!"

"I must, Gardenia! If it is the only way to defeat that monster, what more can I do?" Wabbaku said sharply. "Even if we cannot defeat Mewgle, and he manages to survive this battle, he will not be able to do nearly as much damage without that beast at his side! If I can take Leviathan out, we may save the whole world! Is one life truly that high a price to pay for something like that?"

"…To me, it is…" Gardenia whispered.

Mewgle snickered. "Awww, how cute, you think that's actually going to work!"

Wabbaku frowned. "What is _that_ supposed to mean?"

"You'll see soon enough…Gardenia, your turn!" Mewgle said.

The menu popped up before Gardenia. "Um, okay…I guess I'll attack, then." She pressed 'Attack' and got a list of the techniques she knew. "Let's see…maybe if I use Drain Punch I can 'drain' some of his massive HP away? Worth a shot." She pressed 'Drain Punch.' The menu vanished, and a blue box with the words 'Drain Punch' appeared over her head. Yellow streaks spiraled around her arm, which glowed green. She drew back her fist with a cry and lunged through the water at Mewgle, thrusting her arm forward and punching with all her might. The recoil from the blow knocked her back onto the top of the submarine. She glanced hopefully up at Mewgle…

Only for a white zero to flash briefly above the demon's head, and his HP didn't budge in the slightest. "What? No way!"

"Gyahahahaha! Weren't you listening earlier? I'm protected by plot armor!" Mewgle boasted. "That means only my true rival can hurt me in a game…including this one! All you're doing is wasting your time shooting at Supermon! Bwahahahaha!"

Gardenia sagged. "No…"

"Gardenia…it was a nice effort," Wabbaku told her.

"Yeah, but how can we stop him if we can't even damage him?" the Cacnea asked. Wabbaku did not have an answer.

Sam, whose turn it was, did. "Let's see if we can't find a way to pierce that armor…Max?"

Max glanced at him. "Yeah, Sam?"

Sam pressed 'Items' on the menu and selected an object from the list. A blue box with the words 'Max attack' appeared over his head. "Time to go long, little buddy!" He picked up Max and threw him bodily at Mewgle.

"Wheeeeeeeee!" Max cried as he flew through the water and smashed into Mewgle, knocking the demon back. He flipped through the water and landed back on the sub. "Do it again, do it again!"

"Gah! Well…I wasn't expecting that," Mewgle admitted, rubbing his chest in surprise. "But it did you no good!" He was right, another zero flickered over his head and his HP bar didn't change.

Sam scratched his head. "Well, in that case I'm all out of ideas."

"And that's different from the ordinary how?" Max quipped. "I'm just gonna go with what comes natural: shooting stuff!" He pressed 'Attack' on his menu, pulled out his gun, and started wildly firing at Leviathan. While most of the bullets missed due to Max being unskilled in the ancient Oriental art of 'aiming,' a few of the projectiles struck the beast, doing a whopping…1 point of damage each, none of which was reflected in Leviathan's HP bar, since infinity minus five or six points was still infinity. "Oh, come on!"

"Well, it was worth a try," Sam said.

"No it wasn't, because now you'll all die! And no, I did not mean for that to rhyme with what you said. I'm not a rhyming demon," Mewgle said. "Those guys get on my nerves. Anyway, Dispelja!" The word 'Dispelja' appeared in a blue box over his head as green magic swirled around him. That magic then swirled around Wabbaku and Leviathan, and the nigh-invisible strand of magic linking them disappeared.

Wabbaku started. "Wh-what did you just do?"

"Why, dispelled your Destiny Bond, of course! Now Leviathan can kill you without hesitation!" Mewgle said triumphantly.

Wabbaku gasped. "What? NO!"

"Oh, yes! Leviathan, KILL THEM!" Mewgle commanded.

Leviathan reared back its head and opened its jaws, power gathering in its mouth and quickly coalescing to form a sickly gray-green energy ball of truly prodigious size as the myriad souls making it up wailed in anguish. As the four 'heroes' stared at their impending doom, Max turned to Sam and said, "Sam?"

"Yes, little buddy?" Sam said.

"There's something I've been meaning to tell you for a long time now. Something that's been weighing on me for as long as I can remember, and if we're really about to die, I can't go without telling you. It's too important to leave unsaid," Max said.

"Awww, that's sweet, Max. What is it?" Sam asked.

Max took a deep breath. "Sam…I'm the one who ate all your pork rinds!"

Sam gasped in horror. "What? But I thought Jimmy Two-Teeth did that!"

"No, I lied and told you he did it. Jimmy's actually the one who's been eating your puppy treats," Max said.

Sam snarled. "That no-good dirty rat! When we get back to the office, I'm going to strangle him, and I don't care if his wife or kid watch either!"

"You might as well strangle them, too, they've been drinking all our soda," Max said.

"Why didn't you tell me this sooner?" Sam demanded.

Max shrugged. "Eh, never seemed like a good time."

Wabbaku sweatdropped. "And _now_ is?"

"Wabbaku, if we're about to die, there's something I have to say, too," Gardenia said.

He glanced at her. "Yes, what is it?"

She took a deep breath. "Wabbaku, I love you!"

He blinked. "Wait, what?"

"I love you," she repeated. "I've been in love with you for the longest time, and I-"

She was interrupted when Leviathan fired its attack, an unimaginably powerful energy blast which killed all of them instantly. "Good timing, I was worried they were going to start kissing or something stupid like that," Mewgle said. "Well, now that that's taken care of, time to destroy the world…huh?"

A red and green feather wafted down and landed on the prone Wabbaku's chest. Rainbow-colored sparkles and flames swirled around him, and he shot to his pseudopods, gasping for breath as his HP bar partially refilled. "Wh-what? What just happened?"

"That's what I want to know!" Mewgle demanded angrily. "I just killed you!" Leviathan growled. "Er, Leviathan just killed you! Why aren't you dead?"

Wabbaku blinked and looked down at himself in confusion. "That is a very good…oh! Of course!" He rummaged through his medicine bag and pulled out a handful of beautiful glittering feathers. "My Ho-Oh Downs…one of them must have revived me upon my death! I had no idea they could work automatically…won't _this_ be interesting news to the shamanistic community!"

Mewgle's jaw dropped. "You-you have honest-to-badness _Ho-Oh Downs?_ I didn't even know those existed in this world! I mean, yeah, there's a Ho-Oh here, but still!"

Wabbaku smirked. "No good shaman leaves home without a few. Never know when you might need to resurrect someone, or yourself."

"But-but-but where did you get one?" Mewgle asked incredulously. "You can't just find those things in dungeons or stores in the real world!"

"As part of a rite of passage, every shaman born to my tribe must climb to the top of Mt. Faraway to collect a few of Ho-Oh's shed feathers," Wabbaku explained. "They're very useful for magical purposes, and not just because they can revive the dead, either. They're extremely rare and valuable as a result, which is why I try not to let on that I have any or use any of them unless it's an emergency, which I think this qualifies as!"

"What? But…but that's…that's so…it's the sort of thing _I_ would pull!" Mewgle whined.

"So it would seem. But now we have another chance…I'll use my turn and expend my remaining Ho-Oh Downs to revive the others, and then maybe we can figure out a way to defeat you!" Wabbaku said.

"Oh, that won't be necessary," Sam said.

"Yeah, we don't need any of those girly sparkly shiny rainbow feathers," Max said.

Wabbaku and Mewgle started and stared at disbelief at Sam and Max, who were standing back up with their HP bars completely full. "By the spirits…" Wabbaku whispered.

"What? How did you survive?" Mewgle cried incredulously.

"Oh, we had extra lives," Sam said.

"Extra…" Mewgle's eyes crossed. "But-but this is turn-based combat! You don't _get_ extra lives!"

"You should've mentioned that before, then," Sam said.

"Yeah, how're we supposed to play the game if we don't know the rules?" Max asked, reducing Mewgle to a gibbering mess.

"How many of those 'extra lives' do you have?" asked an amazed Wabbaku.

"Enough," Sam said.

"Not that we need them anymore, because when our turn comes, we're gonna wipe the floor with that smug jerk!" Max said.

"You are?" Wabbaku cried.

"Well duh, we're the Freelance Police, of course we are!" Max said.

"Our 'deaths' have given us the power we need to defeat him and Leviathan," Sam explained. "So you should use your turn to revive your girlfriend, we won't need any of your mumbo-jumbo-whoosis or whatever else you have in your bag of tricks."

"She isn't my girlfriend," Wabbaku said, staring at Gardenia's corpse forlornly. "But…perhaps…" He nodded, a resolute look on his face. "Very well. I do not see any other alternative. I shall leave the rest up to you. I don't know why I'm saying this, but…I believe in you, Sam and Max."

Sam and Max stared at him in amazement. "Wow! He actually said that with a straight face!" Max said.

"I know, I'm as surprised as you are, little buddy," Sam said.

"He clearly doesn't know us very well," Max said. Sam nodded in agreement.

Wabbaku opened his menu, selected 'Items' and touched 'Ho-Oh Down' on the resulting list. He reached into his bag and pulled out one of his magic feathers and touched it to the fallen Cacnea's chest. It glowed and burst into rainbow flames and sparkles which swirled around Gardenia. She gasped, her eyes flashing open as her HP bar partially refilled. "What…where…W-Wabbaku? What's going on?"

"You died," he told her as he helped her back up.

"I died? Then…are we in the spirit world?" Gardenia asked in wonder.

"No, I used some of my magic to bring you back to life," Wabbaku explained.

She stared at him in awe. "Then you really _can_ bring back the dead? Is this how you're going to revive Mickey, too?"

"Something like that," Wabbaku said. "But I had to do you first. How could I do otherwise? After all…you are my friend, Gardenia, and you always will be."

"I…th-thank you," Gardenia said. "Thank you so much. I…I'll always be grateful to you for this, Wabbaku. I'll always be your friend, too."

Wabbaku tilted his head slightly. "_Just_ a friend?"

Gardenia blushed. "Oh. Um, right. I said I loved you. Er, ignore that, just a spur of the moment thing. I thought we were about to die, and I, well, ah, sort of lost my head for a minute, and you should disregard it, didn't mean anything-"

"Gardenia, how long have you been in love with me?" Wabbaku asked.

"…A very long time," she admitted. "It seems like forever, really."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Wabbaku asked her. _And why didn't you tell _me?he asked the spirits.

_It seemed obvious,_ they replied. He facepalmed.

"At first, I was too shy. I couldn't work up the courage," Gardenia confessed. "But then I found out you were married, with children, and…and I couldn't tell you after that. I'm not a homewrecker and I don't want to be. I don't want to ruin your family, no matter how much I'd love to be a part of it. When you told us about Lucy, I resolved to stay quiet, so that you could go back to your village with no regrets or distractions. And…and please don't let the fact that I've told you now influence you in any way, okay? Don't let anything I've just said keep you from going home. You've been away from them for so long, and they must miss you terribly, and…and…"

"Gardenia," Wabbaku said, a bemused look on his face. "I never told you I'm polygamous, did I?"

Gardenia started. "Wh-what?"

"Sam, what does 'polygamous' mean?" Max asked.

"It's when a person has more than one husband or wife," Sam said.

"Oh," Max said. He frowned. "Why would anyone possibly want more than one? Isn't the first one hard enough?"

"You-you have other wives?" Gardenia cried.

"Well, no. Not yet," Wabbaku said. "Lucy's the only one I have now, but I'm scheduled to marry a very sweet Kirlia from another tribe when I get home and possibly others in the future. You see, the shamanistic talent is very rare, and whenever it crops up a shaman is usually paired with many different mates in hopes of breeding as many future shamans as possible. So far only a couple of my children have shown any signs of magic, but it's hoped that some of my future offspring will have it as well."

"Oh," Gardenia said. "Well…that's very interesting, but what does it have to do with-"

"Gardenia, will you marry me?" Wabbaku asked.

She stiffened. "Wh-what?"

"You'll have to share me with one or more spouses, and get used to a somewhat less advanced lifestyle than you're accustomed to, but…if that's not a problem for you, if you truly want to be with me, always, then I would be more than happy to make you my second wife," Wabbaku said.

Her heart skipped a beat. "Then…then do you…"

"Love you? No," Wabbaku admitted. "Not yet. But you have been one of my closest friends since joining Team Rocket, and I think that, if I don't love you now…I could in time. Is that good enough?"

Gardenia squealed in delight and hugged the Wobbuffet. "Yes, yes of course! I'd share you with a hundred other wives and live in a mud pit if it meant I got to spend every day of the rest of my life with you! So yes Wabbaku, yes, I _will_ marry you!"

"I am very happy," Wabbaku said weakly. "But could you please let go, Gardenia? You are puncturing my skin."

She flushed and let go. "Oh. Sorry."

"Doesn't that just bring a tear to your eye, Max?" Sam asked.

"No," Max said.

Mewgle gagged. "Ugh! Blech! Enough of the mushy stuff already! Why are you planning for the future, anyway? You're going to _die_ now, and you'll keep dying until all your extra lives and Ho-Oh Downs and Continues are over and your souls are mine!"

"That's where you're wrong, Mewgle," Sam said. "Once it's me and Max's turn, we're going to end your game once and for all!"

"But it's not your turn, it's mine," Gardenia said.

"Oh, sorry," Sam said.

"But…I don't really see anything I can do…and you guys think that you can defeat him?" Gardenia asked.

"Oh yeah, definitely!" Max said.

"Then…in that case, I'll just defend," Gardenia said, pressing 'Defend' on her menu. She crouched to the ground and crossed her arms before her.

"That's not going to protect you from the sheer pain and endless torment that's about to be heaped on you once it's my turn again!" Mewgle said.

"It doesn't need to protect her, because you're not going to _get_ another turn," Sam said.

"When you killed us, it filled our Limit gauges completely, so now we can use our Limit Breaks!" Max said gleefully.

"What's a Limit Break?" Gardenia asked.

"Er…when you break your limits?" Wabbaku guessed uncertainly.

"A limit break is a super-powerful attack made available in a video game when certain conditions are met, usually relating to filling up a bar or taking a specific amount of damage," Sam explained.

"They're flashy and over-the-top and often involve lots of ridiculous animation that can't be skipped, so you have to go through the whole darn thing every time unless you remember to fiddle with the settings beforehand…and in more recent games, they can go on for a _very_ long time indeed," Max complained. "Which is totally stupid, since I've got a low attention span and can't be bothered to focus on them for that long."

"Ah," Wabbaku said. "And these 'Limit Breaks' are strong enough to save us?"

Sam nodded. "Without a doubt!"

"But…but you _can't_ have Limit Breaks!" Mewgle protested. "I didn't even program Limit Breaks or gauges into this game!"

"You should've mentioned that before, then," Sam said.

"Yeah, how're we supposed to play the game if we don't know the rules?" Max asked, reducing Mewgle to a gibbering mess, again.

"Anyway, let's get this over with," Sam said as he pressed a new option on his menu labeled 'Limit.' "It's time to revisit a part of myself I'd hoped never to use again…" A blue box with the word 'Essence of Noir' appeared over his head. Images flickered in the background behind him, images of Max with his skull cut open and no brain, images of people giving him pink bellies, images of people calling him fat, and images of more people calling him 'McGruff'. His eyes narrowed, he snarled, and perma-stubble sprouted around his mouth. He dramatically shrugged off his jacket—three times, somehow—which fell to the ground in slow motion and formed a serious dent in the roof of the submarine. He grabbed his hat and carelessly threw it off into the distance, then drew his gun and fired at it, causing it to explode…somehow. He threw back his head and howled as film noir-esque music played in the background.

Wabbaku, Gardenia, Mewgle, and Leviathan's jaws dropped. "Wow," said Wabbaku.

"Wh-what the fuck?" Mewgle cried.

"Should I be finding him as attractive as I am?" Gardenia wondered.

"Dude, that's so cool! You should go noir more often!" Max said.

"Not now, Max," Sam growled. "I need to stay _angry_ for this. It's not…pleasant." He pointed his gun at Mewgle.

The demon blinked, and then burst into laughter. "Oh, come on! You're going to try that again? Don't you remember? I have _Plot Armor!_ I can't be touched!"

"Armor? Let me tell you something about armor," Sam snarled. "It looks all pretty and shiny when you first buy it at the shop, and put it on for your first big battle…but then it starts getting covered in blood, and gore, and cuts and nicks and dents from all the blows it takes trying to protect your worthless hide. In the end, it's not so shiny anymore, and if you don't polish it, all that junk on it will cause it to rust…rust like everything in this miserable world does, as the sheer ennui and crushing despair of life wear down on our spirits, grinding us into dust until there's nothing left, and what good will armor do you once you've become dust?"

Mewgle stared at him in confusion. "…I'm sorry, what? Was there supposed to be a point in all that? I think you got a little lost there…"

"Er, right," Sam said. "The point is this: now that I'm Noir Sam, my gun has armor-piercing bullets."

Mewgle's eyes bulged. "Wait, what?"

"Wait a second, then how come you still couldn't kill Skunkape's space monkeys when you were going on a rampage all over town looking for my brain?" Max asked.

"They weren't wearing armor, Max; they were super-dense due to coming from a planet with heavier gravity. There's a difference," Sam said. "And they were gorillas, not monkeys. Gorillas are apes; they don't have tails, just like humans."

"But then why did Bosco-" Max started.

"We agreed never to speak of that again," Sam said sharply. He aimed his gun at Mewgle and fired three times. The bullets exited his gun in slow motion, spinning dramatically as they shot through the water and struck Mewgle in the gut hard enough to explode…somehow.

"Gah! That…I actually felt that?" Mewgle cried in disbelief. "But…but how? Only Leo can truly harm me!"

"Harming you isn't all I did," Sam said.

"Huh? What do you…" Mewgle looked upwards and saw, to his horror, the word DEATH was floating over his head. "What?"

"Did I forget to mention that in 'Noir' mode my bullets have an instant-death effect?" Sam asked smugly, adjusting his necktie.

"But…but that's not possible!" Mewgle shrieked in disbelief. "The Death status always has an incredibly low percentage of happening…and it _never_ works on bosses!"

"Never tell me the odds," Sam said as he dramatically twirled his gun and blew some imaginary smoke from one end. "Goodbye, Mewgle."

Before their eyes, the demon began disintegrating. "No! NOOOOOOOOOOO! This can't be happening! Only Leo can defeat me!" Mewgle screamed in horror as, bit by bit, his body disappeared. "I don't know how you managed to cheat destiny…but know that your victory means nothing so long unless you defeat Leviathan! Without me to control him, he will go on an uncontrollable rampage and destroy the world! You fools have only doomed yourselves! You've lost! You've lost! You've-"

"Oh, shut up and die already," Sam said in annoyance, shooting Mewgle again, causing him to explode in a shower of confetti.

"…That was amazing," said the stunned Gardenia. "The confetti at the end kind of detracted from it, though."

"You just killed a nigh-invincible demon! I don't know if I should be awestruck or utterly disturbed," Wabbaku said.

"We'll settle for both," Max said.

"Just another day in the life of the Freelance Police," Sam said as he calmed down, his hat and jacket magically reappearing. "And now, Max, it's time to finish this."

Max nodded. "No problem, Sam! Ha, that Mewgle thought he was _soooo_ clever, releasing an ancient evil eldritch abomination from its eons-long slumber. I wonder what he'd think if he knew that there had been another one closer at hand all along?"

Gardenia blinked. "Huh? What are you talking about?"

Wabbaku gasped in horror, suddenly realizing why the spirits had been so afraid of the not-Buneary. "No…you mean…you are…?"

Max laughed ghoulishly. "Watch and learn!" He pressed the 'Limit' option on his menu.

The words 'Wrath of the Elder Gods' appeared in a blue box over Max's head. The submarine trembled, and the water around them grew darker and darker, until it was impossible to see anything but each other, Leviathan, and the ruins of Hyperbeamorea below them. As ominous voices started chanting in a guttural, alien tongue, Max closed his eyes as his head abruptly burst into flames and he began to levitate off the roof, his body expanding to become larger and larger as the shocked Wabbaku and Gardenia (and the Rockets in the sub, who aren't taking part in the battle and are unimportant right now) looked on. His beady eyes turned purple and sunk into great black pits, his sharp teeth elongated into fangs, his paws turned into webbed claws, purple spots formed on his shoulders and back, and his scalp tore open between his ears to reveal his purple pulsating brain. His skin turned dark green and covered in slime and scales rather than white fur. His long feet turned into cloven hooves, with barbs growing from his ankles and thighs. His muscles bulked up to startling proportions as bone plates and scales formed on his forearms and sides, and his back tore open as his spinal cord, now with engorged with elongated knobby vertebrae, emerged. His long floppy ears hung back over his head, becoming tentacles as suckers formed on their undersides. More tentacles appeared on his face, hanging down in front of his very wide, very toothy mouth in place of a nose, which had receded into his face. Now a giant monster over fifty meters tall and more than big enough to stare the startled Leviathan in the face, Max, or rather, Maxthulhu, threw back his head and emitted a blood-curdling roar that made most of the Rockets wet themselves again and caused the entire sea to quake in terror.

"S-sweet Arceus!" Gardenia shrieked.

"What…what _is_ that?" Wabbaku cried.

"Oh, that's my little buddy," Sam said nonchalantly. "Not so little anymore, though."

As the chanting grew in intensity, Leviathan reared back its head and hissed, opening its jaws and gathering power. In response, Maxthulhu clenched his right claw into a fist and wound it back. A blue box with the words, 'Press the X button to power up Maxthulhu's attack and stop Leviathan's attack!' appeared in the water before them.

"X button? _What_ X button?" Gardenia screamed.

"This one," Sam said, pointing to a large button with an X on it on the floor.

"Where did that come from?" Gardenia wondered.

"No time for that, press it, quickly!" Wabbaku said, pushing down on the button. "Nothing happened!"

Sam shook his head. "You can't just do it _once_; you have to mash it lots of times!" He demonstrated by stomping on the button repeatedly. "See? Like this. I don't really get why so many RPGs these days use gimmicks like this, but at least we don't have to press a button when a fast-moving line reaches a small lit area on a bar, or input a sequence of button presses or control stick rotations, or something like that."

They quickly pushed the button as many times as they could, and as they did so, eldritch power converged on Maxthulhu's fist, causing it to burn with an eerie green glow. With a snarl, the giant monster swung his meaty fist forward, punching Leviathan in the face and knocking the serpent back, the number 9999999999999999999999 appearing over its head...but failing to make a dent in its HP bar, since infinity minus 9999999999999999999999 is still infinity. "It's no good! It didn't work!" Gardenia cried.

"It will," Sam said. "Just give it time."

Leviathan shook its head and rose back up as Maxthulhu stomped over. The monster opened its mouth and started charging an attack again, while Maxthulhu wound back his fist and did the same, a message informing the other three to start pushing the button appeared. They gladly obliged, but were forced to push it harder and faster before a sizable amount of energy appeared around Max's fist and he punched Leviathan, knocking it back again with a whopping 999999,9999999999999,99999999999999999,999999999999999,999999999999,999999999999999999999,999999999999999999,99999999999999999999,9999999999999999,999999 floating over its head. "That was a little close," Gardenia said, trying to wipe away some sweat and failing because her head was in a glass bowl. "I think Leviathan was nearer to firing his attack that time."

"He was," Sam said. "Every time we do this, we have to push the button more before Leviathan can fire. Otherwise, we'll lose."

"This is very stressful…who knew video games could give you such a workout?" Wabbaku sighed.

They had an even bigger workout powering Maxthulhu up for the third attack, managing to get his punch off literally milliseconds before Leviathan could fire its attack. This time the giant monster's attack did 99999999999999999,,,,,,,,,,999999999999999999999999999 points of damage and knocked Leviathan to the ground so hard its coils flew everywhere, smashing a good chunk of the city to pieces. Eyes flashing with rage, Leviathan rose up once again, floating back so it was over the lava chasm just outside the boundaries of Hyperbeamoria. Opening its mouth, it started gathering power one more time. "Okay, this is the last one," Sam said as he started stomping on the button.

"How can you tell?" Wabbaku asked, doing the same.

"Just a feeling," Sam grunted in reply.

They pushed harder and faster than ever before, until it felt like their limbs would fall off…but apparently it wasn't enough, because Leviathan finished charging its attack and fired, sending a gigantic energy ball flying right towards Maxthulhu. "It's over!" Gardenia cried. "We're done for!"

"Not yet!" Sam shouted, still stomping on the button. "Keep pushing!"

Seeing no other option, that's exactly what they did. And as they did so, Maxthulhu wound back his fist so far that he had to stand on one leg to keep from falling over backwards, so much power focused into his claw it looked like a rather sickly, dying star, and _punched_ the energy ball with all the might in his enormous frame. The ball did not explode, but pushed against Maxthulhu's claw, energy bolts arcing off its surface and ravaging his form. Ignoring the frame, Maxthulhu pushed back, the frantic button presses of his best friend and acquaintances fueling him with more and more power. With a final yell, Maxthulhu lunged forward, his fist immersing itself so far into the energy ball that it molded itself around his claw and was carried with him as the abomination pushed ahead, slamming both his fist and the energy sphere into Leviathan's head so hard that there was a massive explosion which leveled almost everything that was left of the city, nearly sank the submarine, and caused seaquakes that could be felt on the other side of the world. Head reeling back in agony, a giant white infinity sign flashing over its head, Leviathan plunged into the chasm, its entire serpentine length vanishing into the depths, a huge wall of fire roaring up from the pit once it hit the bottom. Backlit by the flames, Maxthulhu threw his head back and roared while Sam, Gardenia, and Wabbaku got into poses without quite knowing why as victorious fanfare played and the giant white words YOU WIN! Appeared in the water before them.

"Wh-what's going on?" the confused Gardenia shouted.

"We won," Sam said.

"We did?" she gasped.

"We did," Wabbaku said with a warm smile. "Because Max punched out Leviathan!"

"Then…that means we can go back to your village, and get married, and all that?" Gardenia asked hopefully.

"If that is your wish," the shaman said fondly. She squealed and hugged him again. "Gack! Gardenia…your needles…"

A blue box appeared over Wabbaku's head. It read, 'Wabbaku gained 78450205 EXP! Wabbaku reached level 57!'

"Uh, is that supposed to happen?" Wabbaku asked.

"Yes," Sam said.

"Oh, okay…" he said uncertainly.

'Gardenia gained 78450205 EXP! Gardenia reached level 32!' a box said over Gardenia's head. Suddenly, it changed to say, 'What? Gardenia is evolving!'

Gardenia blinked. "I am?" She started glowing. She gasped. "OhmiArceus! I am!" She grew taller, her spherical body becoming somewhat humanoid as more thorns grew from her new legs and neck and a triangular spiky hat formed on top of her head.

'Congratulations! Your Gardenia has evolved into a Cacturne!' a new box said.

"Eeee! I've finally become a Cacturne! I don't believe it!" Gardenia squealed joyfully. "Wabbaku, look! Now I'm as tall as you are!"

"Congratulations, Gardenia!" Wabbaku said. "You've certainly earned this!"

"Look little buddy, it's the miracle of life! Isn't it wonderful?" Sam said.

"No," Max said.

A box appeared above Sam's head. 'Sam gained 78450205 EXP! Sam reached level 759! Sam learned 'Trick Shot!''

"That sounds like a nifty move," Sam commented. "I'll have fun using it, I'm sure."

"Are levels supposed to go that high?" Wabbaku asked.

"Yes," Sam said.

"Oh," said Wabbaku.

A box appeared above the head of Max, who had inexplicably changed back to normal and returned to the roof of the submarine next to them. 'Max gained 78450205 EXP!' Max waited a moment, but nothing else happened. "Hey! Don't I get any levels or learn any new moves?" Max complained.

Another box appeared. 'No.'

"Oh, _come on_!" Max whined.

Another box appeared and said, 'The party has found 1 Poké. The party has found 1 card.' Wabbaku blinked and found that he was now holding a single coin and a card with Mewgle's picture on it.

"What am I supposed to do with this?" he wondered out loud.

"Ooh, can I have the card? My kids love those things," Max asked. "And by my kids, I mean me."

"Sure, go ahead," Wabbaku said, handing it over.

"Thanks!" the lagomorph said, putting the card…somewhere…

Everything darkened, and then abruptly returned to normal. "What was that?" Gardenia asked in bewilderment.

"The transition back to reality," Sam said. "It's always gentler than the one into combat."

"Then why can't the transition into combat be this smooth too?" Wabbaku asked. Sam and Max shrugged.

"That was incredible, you guys!" Jessie cried from inside the sub. "I've never seen anything like it!"

"Yeah, it was utterly absurd and confusing and terrifying at parts, but also pretty cool!" Mondo agreed.

"Thank you for battling so hard and saving us, and possibly the entire world!" Buzz said.

"Yes, that's well and good, but can we go and get Mickey back already?" James pleaded.

Wabbaku nodded. "Certainly. We just need to go into that chasm and retrieve Mickey's soul from Leviathan's remains, do some restorative work on his skin to make a homunculus body for him, use a Ho-Oh Down to bring it to life, and he'll be back to his old self, or a facsimile of it, in no time!"

"Great! Then let's go!" James said, eagerly pedaling the sub towards the chasm.

"Oh no you don't! You aren't going anywhere!" Mewgle cried as he abruptly descended into their path. "We aren't done yet, not by a long shot!"

Everyone gasped. "What? Mewgle?" Wabbaku cried.

"Didn't we just _kill_ you?" Gardenia protested in disbelief.

Mewgle grinned. "Ah, you would have, except for one thing…it was an unwinnable boss fight, so it didn't count!"

Sam gasped. "Oh no, not an unwinnable boss fight! That never occurred to me!"

"A what now?" Gardenia asked, getting the feeling he was going to dread the answer.

"An unwinnable boss fight, as the name implies, is a boss fight you aren't supposed to win, mainly for story reasons," Sam explained. "Even if you're somehow able to defeat the boss through level grinding or powerful items or just plain cheating, the game pretends that didn't happen and continues on normally as if you had lost."

Wabbaku paled. "Then that means…"

Mewgle cackled gleefully. "That's right! Though you were somehow able to defeat me and Leviathan in that fight, the whole thing was rigged so that even if you won, I'd still be okay in the end…and so's my good friend! Come on up, Leviathan, and show them how utterly fucked they are!" The seafloor shook, and with a mighty roar Leviathan arose from the pit, much to the horror of everyone else.

"No…" Wabbaku whispered.

"Quick! Max! Turn into that giant monster thing again!" Gardenia cried desperately.

"Uh, I'd love to, but I can't," Max said.

"What? Why not?" she demanded.

"That was in combat mode. I can't do that in real life," Max said.

"…I don't follow," Gardenia said.

"In RPGs, player characters have all sorts of special attacks and superpowers and incredible abilities far beyond the ken of NPCs and real-life players," Sam said. "However, pretty much all of those abilities are only available in battles and can't be used anywhere else in the game, save for certain cutscenes."

"What? But…but…but that's so _stupid!_" she cried incredulously.

Sam shrugged. "That's gameplay and story segregation in a nutshell."

"And I'm guessing that means you can't go Noir and shoot them with instant death bullets?" Wabbaku asked miserably.

"Yep," Sam said.

"We're going to die, aren't we?" he said morosely.

"Yeah, it looks that way," Max said.

"We didn't even get married…" Gardenia whimpered.

"We're going to die? We're going to die! Noooo! I don't want to die!" Jessie screamed, throttling poor Buzz.

"If I changed into a Water Pokemon and swam away at top speed, how far do you think I could get before they caught me?" Mondo asked James.

"Not very far," James said.

Mondo sighed. "I was afraid of that."

"Oh well…" James smiled weakly. "At least I'll be with Mickey again…and we'll all be together forever, in Leviathan's stomach. That's something to look forward to, isn't it?" Mondo and Jessie stared at James for a long moment and burst into tears.

"Now, Leviathan, before they waste our time with too many sappy 'last words' and 'final moments!' Devour them!" Mewgle commanded. Leviathan obliged, opening its mouth and sucking all the water nearby down its throat. James pedaled as hard as he could, but despite his best efforts, the submarine inexorably drew closer and closer to the beast's jaws, and the eternity of torment waiting within. Finally, his poor little legs gave out, and they fell, screaming, towards the mouth of the monster…

…

Meanwhile, at the Convocum Mysticus Fantastica…

After dropping off the cages containing their vampiric prisoners, Bellum and her cohorts wiled away the hours until the big show shopping, exploring, and a rather unfortunate and humiliating accident where Brodie got himself turned into a five-headed seven-eyed three-tailed purple Pokémon eater and couldn't change himself back. While they had a lot of fun experiencing and sampling the magical wonders of the Convocum and scaring the piss out of most of the other attendees, who were properly terrified of Bellum, inevitably the time came for them to leave the convention floor behind and get ready for the main event. A large theatrical stage had been constructed by magical means (what else?) in the middle of an amphitheater capable of seating thousands, with not a single empty spot in the house. As high-ranking members of the Order of Merlin rambled on and on about the pride and prestige and heritage of magic and the great tradition of the Convocum and people putting aside their differences to come together in mutual benefit and other such drivel, Bellum and the other contestants waited impatiently backstage for the opening remarks to end so they could get on with it already and show the world just what they'd been working on for the last century and why it would change the world. Bellum was smugly confident that no matter what her rival mages had in store, it couldn't possibly top her own little project. (She willingly ignored the fact that all of her rival mages were probably thinking the same thing.) Rather frustratingly, her attempts to spy into their work had been as unsuccessful as _their_ attempts to spy into _her_ work, so she had no idea what any of them were going to present—_especially_ Fantina—but she was still sure that she could outdo them all.

"Do you see them, my little ones? How they all stare and point and whisper at us?" Bellum murmured to her minions as they stayed near the cages, which were still covered in magical ice to keep everyone from seeing what was inside. "These are the so-called greatest magical minds in the world…and yet all of them fear me, and rightfully so, because they know that one day I shall force them to call me 'mistress' on bended knee."

"I thought they were all looking at us because Marianne drank some weird potion you told her not to and now can't control her Forme changes," Brodie commented as Marianne turned into a fan, then a lawnmower, then a refrigerator, then a washing machine, then a microwave, then a dildo…wait, where'd that last one come from?

"That too," Bellum said absent-mindedly. "They know that, despite all their airs and awards and fancy titles and wealth, I am far more powerful than they will ever be…and they fear me, as well they should."

"You are wrong, Bellum. Zeir is one 'ere 'o does not fear you," a warm and velvety soft voice spoke up in a sultry Franch accent.

Bellum stiffened and turned as a breathtakingly beautiful gold-skinned Mismagius with kind eyes and a gentle smile and a well cared-for cloak and hat with sparkling jewels and a dazzling tiara bearing the crest of Fichina approached. "Fantina," the ice witch snarled. "I was wondering when you would show up."

Fantina's eyes and smile hardened as they met Bellum's. "And I you, old friend. I suppose it was too much to 'ope zat you would not make it zis year? I 'ad 'eard rumors zat you had suffered some razzer…_'umiliating_ defeats recently. Zere are many 'o 'oped you would be too busy recovering from zose to attend zis century."

"But not you, I take it?" Bellum sneered.

Fantina shook her head sadly. "I knew zat you would not allow somezing like zat to keep you from taking anozzer shot at me, Bellum. Must we go zhrough wiz zis again? We used to be friends, once. Can we not be friends again?"

Bellum laughed harshly. "Still trying to convince me to come back to the 'right' side, Fantina? I had thought you'd have realized the futility of that by now."

"A part of me has," Fantina said sadly. "But anozzer part of me refuses to give up on you, no matter 'ow much you steep yourself in evil and try to destroy me. It is 'o I am."

"Just as it is who _I_ am to continue delving to greater and greater depths of wickedness and trying to destroy you," Bellum sneered. "You poor, stupid, sentimental bleeding heart of a witch. If you knew even _half_ the things I've done, you would weep for all eternity and give up any thoughts of redeeming me."

"Oh, I know far more zan half, Bellum," Fantina said quietly. "Including what you 'ave done to your daughter…" She smiled at this. "Speaking of which…since she's not here, and I doubt you would 'ave left her back at your lair unattended, I take it ze rumors zat she 'as finally escaped you are true? I almost could not believe it when I 'eard ze news."

Bellum stiffened. "Stay away from Lily, Fantina. She is my daughter, and therefore my concern, not yours."

"Which only makes me more determined to find 'er and 'elp 'er if I can," Fantina said cheerfully, causing Bellum to grind her teeth. "Since anyone 'o would free 'er from your clutches cannot be zat bad."

"You…" Bellum snarled.

"And I see you 'ave replaced her already…you poor changeling. Do you even realize what you 'ave gotten yourself into?" Fantina asked Brodie.

Brodie smirked. "Do I! I was just a small-time alchemist before…now I'm hobknobbing with the movers and shakers of the magical world, working with one of the greatest evil witches of all time, and get to take part in the conquest of the planet, if not all reality!"

The Mismagius shook her head pityingly. "You foolish creature. I 'ope you survive long enough to regret ze choice you have made." She frowned, looking past Bellum. "And what do we 'ave 'ere, Bellum? What poor souls have you mutilated for _zis_ year's show?"

"What business is it of yours, Fantina?" Bellum said coolly. "They are completely unmagical creatures, who all the same could provide a great deal to our field. You may be head of the Committee for the Protection of Magical Creatures—and other stupid charity groups besides—but since they are not magic; they are none of your concern."

"I'm 'ead of ze Committee for ze Protection of _Non_magical Creatures too, you know," Fantina pointed out.

"Yes, a group which the Order of Merlin does not formally recognize, and therefore has no power whatsoever," Bellum said cruelly. "I do not understand your obsession with helping those who are merely mortal, Fantina, but you know as well as I do that there are no laws against our kind experimenting on or exploiting those without magic, and there never will be, no matter _how_ many times you lobby the Elder Council."

"I refuse to believe zat," Fantina said huffily.

"And that is why you will fall before me, in the end," Bellum said smugly.

Fantina raised an eyebrow. "Just like I was supposed to fall before you in every ozzer duel and battle we've ever 'ad, and every time we've competed at ze Convocum?"

Bellum's face twisted into a mask of pure hatred. "This year will be different!"

"Is it? We shall see. Good luck out zere, Bellum. And I 'ope zat whatever poor soul you 'ave in zose cages will soon be able to rest." She turned away, but not before extending a tendril from under her hat and gesturing at Marianne, chanting melodiously as she cast a spell that caused the Rotom to stop uncontrollably switching Formes in a shower of magical sparks. As Marianne blinked in surprise, the lovely enchantress departed.

Bellum shook with rage, frost forming on the floor and walls as the temperature dropped sharply. "Oh, how I hate her."

"Yeah…" Brodie said distantly as he stared after Fantina. "It was nice of her to fix Marianne, though. And she's kind of pretty…_really_ pretty…er, not as pretty as you, of course!" he exclaimed when Bellum turned her wrathful gaze on him.

"I should hope not…" Bellum snarled. She narrowed her eyes as she glared at the receding Mismagius. "Fantina…like I said, this year will be different. Not only will I at long last win the Rod of Merlin, but soon I shall defeat you for real…and then Fichina and everything else you hold dear shall suffer my revenge!"

…

Wow. Just, WOW.

I did not expect this chapter to be this long. And yet it was. I worked day and night for three weeks to get this ready before school started, and I hope it was worth it.

The next two chapters should finish this arc, one bringing the main events to a close with the second providing a between-arc epilogue and teaser to the future, as usual. Hopefully they won't be as long, and hopefully school won't make it difficult for me to write them.

I'm going to stop writing and rest my poor worn-out fingers now. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I look forward to getting the next one out soon. Ish.


	48. Escape from Zero Isle

Well, sorry if this took a while, but school's started so I'm a little crunched for time. Nevertheless, I managed to get this chapter taken care of, which should make up for it. I hope.

I also hope this chapter will be easier to read than the last one. I swear, I had no intention of it being that long. It just happened.

Anyway, here's the chapter, and the conclusion of one of the longest arcs in the story…for Team Aurabolt, anyway. There'll still be one more chapter to clean up things for the other characters, as usual, and after that…

We'll finally start a new arc! Won't that be fun? It'll have trains. Trains are cool.

Until then, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me. I'd list what I've appropriated/referenced/ripped-off, but it would take forever and I'm not sure it's worth it.

…

Somewhere in Samiya…

With a metallic groan the bulkhead slid up, and a blood-soaked Captain Briney floated out into the corridor, a weary expression on his face and a distant look in his eye as he drifted down the hall and away from…from what was left of Archie. He hadn't killed the Starmie. No, that would have been too merciful for him. But what he _had_ done…

He didn't regret it, he knew it needed to be done and the bastard deserved it, but even he was surprised by the depths of violence he'd been capable of. And since he'd single-handedly torn down dozens of Nihilator bases and killed hundreds of Pokémon with barely a tremor, the fact that this shook him was more than a little unnerving. A part of him hoped he would never have to resort to such violence again, he felt as if he had almost lost control back there. Was this the sort of thing Ash was afraid would happen to him all the time? Perhaps he should stop casually talking about how he would kill the Lucario if he ever went berserk…it probably wasn't doing much for the boy's self-confidence. _The important thing is I kept my promise,_ he thought to himself, trying to justify his actions. _I didn't kill the bastard, though he probably wishes I did. I'll see Peeko again after I die. Unless…no, she wouldn't have a problem with what I did, would she? I mean, she didn't approve or disapprove of my methods for revenge-seeking when I…when I last saw her, so…_ He grunted, his face hardening into his usual determined expression. _Bah, I'm overthinking this. Darkrai didn't seem to have a problem with it, so I'm probably in the clear, right? Still…I'd prefer it if I never had to do anything like that again._ He shook his head._ Anyway, I don't have time for introspection. Right now I've got another promise to keep…my team needs me. Now that I've indulged myself with their permission and my vengeance is finally at an end, it's time to rejoin them and take down that scrawny brat!_

As he set off to do just that, he found himself accosted by two of Barbedo's pirates, who had gotten separated from the main battle and were looking for someone to pick a fight with. Spotting Briney, one of them raised his cutlass. "Ahoy and avast! Prepare to die!"

"Not right now, I'm busy," Briney said, absent-mindedly shoving them out of his way.

"Hey! Come back here! Ye can't just do that to us!" the cutlass-wielding pirate shouted angrily after the Metang. "Come back and fight, ye bloody coward!"

Briney stiffened and turned around. "What did you just call me?"

"You heard me," the pirate snarled. "I said ye were a-"

"Jones, calm down. That's Cap'n Briney. He's on our side, remember?" the other skeleton said, grabbing his friend's arm and pulling it down. "And he's not exactly a guy to be trifled with…Remember what he did to some of the others when he thought our welcoming party was an ambush? Bony Bruce was still missing some of his ribs when we weighed anchor…"

The first skeleton, Jelly-Leg Jones, would have blanched if he had possessed blood vessels, a face, and weren't already bone-white on account of being undead. "Oh, uh, sorry Cap'n Briney. Didn't recognize ye under all that blood."

"None of it's mine, I assure you," Briney said, calming down.

"Ye must have been in quite a battle to get covered in that much!" the second pirate, Poofy-Pants Wally, said in awe.

"Not much of one, really. It's all from one mon," Briney said.

"One mon? That's preposterous, there's no way one mon could generate that much blood!" Jones said in disbelief.

"Aye, we know from experience," Wally said.

"One mon can when they can use Recover to heal themselves," Briney said idly. "But every ability has its limit, and he reached his, though he certainly took his sweet time getting there."

"Oh," said Jones.

"I hope ye finished him off, then, because if he recovers from something like that ye can bet he'll be pissed," Wally said. "Though whether it's from anger or sheer terror, I ain't too sure."

"For reasons I'd rather not disclose, I…couldn't finish him off," Briney said after a moment. "Not from a lack of desire, rather, I just…made a promise I didn't particularly feel like breaking. If you boys are in the mood for killing something, though, he's all yours."

"Of course we be up to killing something! We're pirates!" Jones boasted.

"Aye, if it ain't killing it's drinking or wenching or looting or knitting the most delightful little blankets that keep yer bones nice and warm and cozy during the long winter nights," Wally said. "We're always up for a little fun!'

"Well, he's waiting right around that corner over there, so if you want him, you can have him," Briney said, pointing past the pirates. "I hope you have strong stomachs, because I don't think most people could see what I did to that 'un without losing their lunches."

"Then it's a good thing we don't have any stomachs," Jones said.

"We're hard sea Growlithes, Cap'n. I'm doubt it's nothing we can't handle," Wally said.

"I hope for your sakes, and his, you're right. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get going. My friends need me…" He floated off, leaving the pirates behind.

Once he was out of range, Jones scowled. "Huh! Who does he think he is, eh? Asking us to finish off one of us kills, like we're maids to clean up after 'im? Or worse yet, he's throwing us one out of _pity_? We can find our own people to kill, sure enough!"

"Aye, and there's one right around the corner," Wally said. "All gift-wrapped for us and everything. Let's just go finish 'im off and be done with it. A kill's a kill, after all."

"I suppose…" Jones muttered reluctantly as they headed down the hallway. "Still, the nerve of that guy, insinuating that we couldn't stand the sight of a little carnage. I mean, we're pirates! Butchers of the high seas! Sure, we're a little out of practice, but that don't mean we ain't accustomed to a bloodbath or two! Bah, we've probably seen and done worse in our two thousand years of life and undeath than that guy's…ever…imagined…"

Jones trailed off and fell silent as they turned the corner and found themselves face-to-face with Briney's handiwork. They stared at the blood staining every inch of the walls, floor and ceiling. They stared at the bloody piles of broken red crystal and twitching dismembered limbs. They stared at the…the _thing_ lying in a heap in one corner, so still and quiet it could easily be mistaken for a pile of refuse were it not for the blood oozing from it and the fevered whispers of "_Peeko…Peeko…Peeko…"_

Jones retched and staggered back in alarm. "Ye know," Wally said quietly. "I reckon it's a good thing we don't have stomachs, else we'd be throwin' up right about now." He frowned. "Then again…if we ain't got no stomachs, then how do we eat?"

"Magic, I suppose," Jones said weakly as he took in the bloodshed. "Blimey…I take back everything I said about the guy. This looks almost as bad as what Cap'n Barbedo did that time to that one guy he _really_ didn't like."

"Which guy?" Wally asked.

"You know, the one he _really_ didn't like," Jones said vaguely.

"Oh yeah, that guy," Wally recalled. "Wonder what this bloke did to get Cap'n Briney so cheesed off?"

"I don't know and I don't really want to know," Jones said, walking to the whimpering Starmie. He drew his cutlass and…gave what help he could. "There. He's dead."

"You sure?" Wally asked, peering over the skeleton's shoulder.

"I'm undead, I think I can tell death when I see it," Jones said.

"Well, considering we didn't technically die…" Wally pointed out.

"We did too die!" Jones said. "I distinctly remember the feeling of the noose tightening around me neck right before the fatal plunge. We just got better, is all."

"Doubt this guy'll get better," Wally said.

"Probably for the best. Wouldn't want something like him lurking about on some crazed quest for vengeance from beyond the grave or whatnot," Jones said.

"If he did, though, would he come after us or Cap'n Briney?" Wally wondered.

"That's…a good question…" Jones and Wally stared at the corpse for several seconds, wondering if it might get up and attack them at any moment, or if its tormented soul would come back as a Ghost Pokémon to haunt them. They'd seen that sort of thing before. Why, a few of the Ghosts of the people they had killed in the past were part of their crew! (They'd initially hunted the pirates for vengeance, but decided to let bygones be bygones when they realized how cool it was to be a Ghost and how much loot they could get as part of Barbedo's crew.) Thankfully, nothing happened, but the pirates didn't relax completely. Seamen (and mons) were superstitious by nature, for very good reason considering the world they lived in and the creatures they shared it with, and those who weren't always wary about powers beyond their comprehension often came to a nasty end. The fact that Jones and Wally were undead didn't lessen their superstitions one bit, especially since they knew about those powers and what they could do firsthand.

That didn't stop them from searching the Starmie's remains for anything valuable, though. "I got nothing," a disappointed Jones reported, drawing back his bloodstained hands.

"Neither do I. Not much of a surprise, though…he's a Starmie. Where're they supposed to put their stuff?" Wally wondered. "D'ya suppose these gem fragments are worth anything?"

"All broken up and covered in blood? Nah," Jones said dismissively. "There might be some swag worth bagging elsewhere in this temple, though…there was a lot of stuff here the last time we came through, and the new owners can't have gotten rid of _all_ of it, can they?"

Wally shrugged. "Only one way to find out." As they headed away from the scene of the slaughter, he asked, "Who do you suppose that guy was, anyway?"

"Eh, probably nobody important," Jones said.

And so died Archibald Aogiri…alone, unnamed, unmourned, and forgotten.

…

Higher up in the temple…

Things were not going very well for Ash. The sadistic Manaphy had switched almost everyone's bodies, including Ash's, and was now trying to take advantage of the former human's current vulnerabilities as a Ground/Rock-type Larvitar by immersing him in water, pummeling him with water tentacles, and attempting to drown him. It was not a pleasant experience, and Ash wondered if he was going to wind up hydrophobic once this was all over. To make things worse, his friends were too busy fighting Manaphy's henchmons and their own unfamiliar bodies to help him, so he was on his own for the time being.

Fortunately, there was one thing he had going for him…the power of Aura was still with him. As the tentacle he was trapped in smashed him into the wall, Ash closed his eyes, concentrated, and released a burst of Aura, blasting the water away from him…

And also leaving him several feet off the ground with nothing to suspend him. _I should probably have thought that through a little better,_ he thought faintly as he started falling towards the pool covering the floor of the chamber.

He didn't make it there. More water tentacles emerged from the channels in the wall and slammed into him from either side, stunning him and causing him to briefly open his mouth, letting air out and the water in. The liquid, controlled by the demented deity, poured down Ash's throat, trying to fill his lungs. With another burst of Aura, he expelled it…and, once again, started falling towards the pool. _There's got to be a better way to do this,_ he thought as he coughed and expelled water from his mouth.

When another tentacle shot towards him, he tried to dodge in midair, but since he was a rather heavy and squat Larvitar rather than a lithe and muscular Lucario he was unable to quite pull it off and got slammed in the gut, driving the air from his lungs as he flew through the air, only to get batted away by another tendril and slammed into the wall. As he started sliding down its length, he desperately tried to scramble for a foothold, but the walls were too slick, his arm nubs too…nubby, and he had no idea how to use Dig. It was one of Tiny's moves, yes, but Ash didn't really understand how Tiny's body worked, so he couldn't use it. He could use Aura since he was familiar with it, and Tiny's body was capable of channeling it as well, but what other abilities of his foster son could he use to get him out of this mess?

One idea came to mind. As he finally lost his grip and started falling, and more tentacles surged towards him, Ash took a deep breath and released a Screech. The principle behind the attack wasn't too different from his rarely-used Metal Sound move, so he managed to pull it off easily. As the high-pitched wail echoed throughout the chamber, Manaphy cried in alarm and covered his earholes. "Gah! Make it stop! Make it stop!" The noise causing him to lose concentration, the tentacles wavered and dissipated. As Ash fell unhindered, he reached out and grabbed the lip of one of the wall shafts, managing to arrest his descent. Tail and feet wiggling as he mustered his strength, he pulled himself into the shaft. And now that he was there, he could…he could…

Well, he hadn't gotten quite that far yet. And he didn't get any further, either, because Manaphy managed to recover and summon more water, causing a tentacle to blast out of the shaft Ash was in, sending him flying through the air and smashing into the side of the pillar supporting the platform in the middle of the room, his head spike imbedding itself in its surface and causing him to get stuck there. Unable to believe his bad luck, Ash frantically tried to pull free as a tentacle shot towards him. Pointing his arms at the pillar, he forced Aura out their ends in the closest approximation of Force Palm he could achieve with Tiny's body, the blast freeing him from the pillar just before the tentacle slammed into it, causing the platform to shake. "Hey, watch it!" Manaphy yelled angrily as he swam about in his water pillar to regain equilibrium.

"You're the one who's throwing punches like that around without looking before you hit!" Ash yelled back as he fell towards the pool.

"I don't need to take that sort of crap from you! Not from a failure and traitor who's going to die!" Manaphy snarled as he caused a waterspout to erupt from the pool and rise towards Ash.

Thinking quickly, Ash gathered his power and managed to form an energy sphere in his hands. It wasn't quite an Aura Sphere, and it wasn't quite a Hidden Power either, but it was the best he was able to muster in his current state. He flung the energy ball downwards, the blast as it connected with the waterspout and exploded flinging him back into the air. Twirling in place to try to build up speed, he angled himself so that as he descended he would fall right towards the pillar Manaphy was in. As the corrupted Seafaring Pokémon's eyes widened in surprise, Ash drew back his fist, charging Aura into it, splashed into the pillar…

And found himself frozen in place. Startled, he flailed about to try and swim, but he found he couldn't move, the water around him feeling almost solid and impossible to move through. Manaphy laughed and swam in a circle around him gleefully. "You idiot! I can control water and you challenge me within it? I thought you were smarter than that, Ash! I guess all your victories in the past have just been dumb luck…but your luck has finally run out!" He clenched his flipper-claw into a fist, and the water around Ash started compressing on him, causing him to wince in pain as the pressure built and built. If he didn't do something fast, he was going to die…either from oxygen deprivation or being crushed until his body broke! Seeing Ash's clear suffering, Manaphy laughed and decided to 'help' him along…namely, by firing Water Pulses at him. "I've waited centuries for this moment…and now that it's here, I can barely contain myself! At last, Ash, you will pay for what you did to May! Die! Die! DIIIIIIEEEE!"

Tiny, stuck in Lily's body, gasped in alarm. "Daddy! Hang on!" He tried to float towards the pillar…and hovered in place. "Oh, come on! This is ridiculous!"

"I find this 'fur' to be rather ridiculous," Lily, stuck in Ash's body, commented as the half-dozen Phione surrounding her kept blasting her prostrate form with Water Pulses, something she didn't appear to notice. "My hair is prehensile, looks nice, and can be used as a weapon, but what purpose does it serve to have a body like this completely covered in hair? It's short, immobile, and rather itchy." She grunted and tried to lift an arm, only to bend a leg instead. "If only I could figure out how to scratch it…or how these 'limb' things work…"

"…Doesn't that hurt?" Tiny asked. A Phione shot a Water Pulse at him. "Ow! Stop that!"

"Hmm? Does what hurt?" Lily asked.

"You know, getting hit by all those attacks," Tiny said. A Phione shot a Water Pulse at him. "Ow! Stop that!"

Lily blinked. "Hurt? Oh! So _that's_ what that strange sensation I've been feeling was!"

Tiny sweatdropped. "You didn't even know you were in pain? Weren't you tortured constantly by your mother and all that? I thought you'd recognize it by now." A Phione shot a Water Pulse at him. "Ow! Stop that!"

"Yes, I know what pain feels like, I just didn't know what pain feels like to mortals like you," Lily said. "And now I do. Hmm. It's rather unpleasant. I suppose I should do something about it, shouldn't I, so that Ash's body won't hurt too much when he gets back to it."

"You think?" Tiny asked. A Phione shot a Water Pulse at him. "Ow! I _said, STOP THAT!"_ Aura exploded around him, causing the Phione to yelp and back away in fright. Tiny blinked in surprise. "Huh? How did I do that?"

"Aura comes from the heart, and is in all beings," Lily said. "There is no reason you cannot use it even if you aren't in your body. It is your heart that controls it, after all, and you still have that, even if you're currently stuck in my form."

"Then…then that means…" Tiny concentrated, and Aura burst behind him, propelling him forwards. "Yes! Now I can move! Sort of…"

"Hmm, and if you can use Aura despite being in my body…then logically, that means I should still be able to use some of my magic despite being in this body," Lily reasoned. She chanted a few arcane phrases and fireballs blasted out around her, knocking the Phione surrounding her back. "There, that's better. Now let's see about my other problem…" She chanted a few more phrases, and she rose off the ground, floating in the air. "Awww. What a relief. I really am not too fond of gravity, I don't understand how mortals deal with it all the time."

"Wait, you could do that all along?" Tiny asked. "Then why didn't you sooner?"

"I was too distracted by all the odd sensations from my current body to think of it," Lily said. "Including this odd one in my…'stomach,' I believe it's called? It feels like there's a great void inside of me, yearning to be filled."

"That's hunger," Tiny said.

"Oh! So that's what that feels like," Lily marveled. "Anyway, let's see about getting my spellbook and reversing this mess so we can save Ash and get our bodies back!" She chanted a summoning spell, and her witch's hat floated off of Tiny's head and drifted over to her…

Only for a Bubblebeam to knock it out of the air and into the clutches of one of the Phione. "Hey, give that back!" Lily cried.

"We won't let you ruin Papa's plans!" the Phione shouted.

"He's waited and worked far too long for this! Now that he's got that meanie Ash where he wants him, we won't let you interfere!" another said.

Tiny sweatdropped. "Meanie? My Daddy's not a meanie!"

"He is too! He let Grandma die!" one of the Phione said.

"And it's because of him that all the bad stuff that happened to Papa did!" said another.

"…Were you guys even _listening_ to what Daddy said about Manaphy?" Tiny asked incredulously. "Everything's _his_ fault!"

A Phione snorted. "And we're supposed to believe you?"

"You're his son! You're just as bad as he is!" said another.

"So you have to die too, so Papa's vengeance will be complete!" said yet another. They spat Aqua Pulses at Tiny, knocking him back.

"Gah! You guys have no idea what you're talking about!" Tiny said angrily.

"Your father is doing something very evil. Don't you realize that?" Lily said.

"Evil? He's just doing what he has to to make the people who ruined his life pay!" a Phione said…although he didn't sound too sure about it.

"He betrayed his best friend and his friend's family, sold his heritage and power to evil, enslaved his mother, is aiding bad guys trying to take over the world, and is trying to kill a Pokémon that can barely fight back," Tiny argued. "My Daddy! You call that 'doing what he has to?'"

"Um…well…" the Phione said uncertainly.

"Even if he's wrong…he's our Papa. What can we do but support him?" another Phione said.

"Wouldn't you do the same thing in our place?" said another.

"No!" Tiny shouted.

They stared at him in disbelief. "You…you wouldn't?" one said.

"But…don't you love your father?" another said.

"I do, and it's because I love him that I'd never do what you guys are!" Tiny said angrily. "I know the difference between good and bad, and if Daddy ever did something really bad—not that he would, of course, but _if_ he did—I'd stop him, because it'd be the right thing to do. It's what _you_ should be doing for your Papa, since you know what he's doing is wrong, don't you?"

"Even if I loved my mother—which I don't—I would still fight to stop her from what she's doing," Lily said, seeing how doubt was growing in the Phione. "Both to save the world…and, perhaps, to save her as well. Of course, I _don't_ love my mother and I know there's absolutely no way to redeem her, but I know you love your father, and…you want him to become better, don't you? Because if he continues on this path, nothing good will come of it."

The Phione hesitated and looked at each other uneasily. "…Well…maybe…"

"What are you doing? Don't listen to them!" Manaphy snapped, pausing in his pummeling of Ash. "They're just trying to confuse you! I am your father, and I know what's best for you and me, so heed my words and keep that hat and whatever's in it away from them!"

The Phione started. "Y-yes, Papa!" they cried, forming Water Pulses and flinging them at Lily and Tiny. Tiny managed to jet out of the way by firing a burst of Aura sideways, while Lily conjured fireballs to cancel out the Pulses, but while they were doing this the Phione jumped off the side of the platform and vanished into the pool below, taking Lily's hat with them.

"Oh dear," Lily said as the Phione used Acid Armor to turn into water themselves and vanish from sight. "It's a good thing my spellbook is waterproof."

"Is it Phione-proof, though?" Tiny asked.

Lily sighed. "That remains to be seen…"

While Lily and Tiny tried to figure out a way to get the spellbook back, Dawn and Sasha were currently fighting Manaphy's Shadow Pokémon liutenants, Matt the Azumarill and Shelly the Walrein. Matt laughed as Dawn hurled ice kunai at him, his Shadow Aura flaring up and incinerating the knives before they could hit him. "Stupid ninja! You can't defeat the power of Shadow!" he boasted.

Dawn narrowed her eyes and formed an ice sword. _I have experienced the power you speak of firsthand…and trust me when I say that it's not all it's cracked up to be._

Matt, who did not know any clickspeak, stared. "Huh? What did you do all that clicking for?"

Dawn sweatdropped. _Oh, never mind._ She dashed towards Matt, form blurring as she created a half-dozen clones to run alongside her. Matt grinned, Shadow Aura flaring up as he charged forward with Shadow Rush. He collided with the Buneary in the middle of the running line…

And passed right through her, since it had been an illusion. The other ninjas converged on him from the sides, thrusting their blades at him, but he summoned Aqua Rings, the circles of water deflecting their strikes and causing them to fall back and disappear. He grinned…

Until the real Dawn dropped down on him from above, thrusting her sword right between his ears. Much to her surprise, it glanced off. "Nice try," Matt said as he swung his tail up in an Aqua Tail. "But my Thick Fat ability gives me resistance to Ice-type attacks!"

_Then it is good that Ice isn't all I can use,_ Dawn said as she flipped over the tail swing and vanished into shadow.

Matt frowned and glanced around, ears twitching as he tried to sense where Dawn had gone. "Huh? Where did she-" He was flung into the air with a wail as Dawn emerged from his own shadow right underneath him, ears striking him from below with Dizzy Punch. As he tumbled through the air in a daze, Dawn formed and flung a spread of Shadow Balls that intercepted Matt and exploded, sending him flying. She Bounced up after him, drawing back her claws in a blow that she hoped would pierce his thick skin, but the Azumarill spat a Hydro Pump in her face. She flipped to the side out of the way and fired an Ice Beam at the Pump, freezing it in mid-stream. She then grabbed the frozen stream, broke it out of Matt's mouth, and swung it at him like a bat, smashing him out of the air and back down to the platform. He bounced, his thick skin cushioning the impact somewhat…but not enough.

When he staggered to his feet and saw Dawn was descending rapidly towards him, claws drawn back with Shadow Balls forming in either paw, he yelped and curled into a ball, dashing out of the way with Rollout before she could let the energy balls go, the dark blasts striking the platform and exploding where he had been standing. As Dawn landed, Matt did a U-turn and rolled right towards her. Unbothered, Dawn fired an Ice Beam at the ground, which was damp from all the water constantly splashing around them and thus froze easily into a slick surface. Matt slid wildly out of control, no longer able to stop himself, and careened into one of the consoles on the edges of the platform, smashing into it and electrifying himself as he broke its waterproof casing and exposed its more delicate interior.

Screaming in pain, his Shadow Aura fluctuated wildly, shattering the console and cracking the ground around him. "Okay…that is _enough!_" he snarled angrily. He jumped forward, landed on his belly, and slid across the ice towards Dawn, Shadow Aura swirling violently and fracturing the frozen surface as he used Shadow End.

Dawn smirked. _ I couldn't agree more._ Channeling her rage, she used Frustration, a powerful red aura surrounding her and cratering the ground. Since Matt wasn't her nemesis Paul, her hatred towards him was not as great as it would be towards her sworn enemy, but Matt was still a foe that needed to be slain, and that gave Dawn all the excuse she needed to use this attack. She charged forward, also using the slick ice to her advantage to move towards Matt at higher speeds. The two ram attacks collided with an impact that shattered the remaining ice and shook the platform, red and purple-black flames surging around them as each pushed against each other with all their might. Matt grinned, confident that the power of Shadow, the power he had sold his soul for, would be more than enough to see him through.

He was wrong, of course. He had underestimated Dawn's determination to kill him to protect her Master and friends, a determination that gave her the power to overcome any obstacle. There was a reason she had been selected to undergo the ultra-controversial 'Anti-Life' treatment, and the shocked Azumarill soon discovered what it was when she managed to shatter his Shadow Aura easily and slam into him so hard that his skull and ribs cracked. As he skidded back across the ice, smashed into the wall, and rebounded, Dawn spawned a clone and charged towards him, each Buneary moving in perfect sync and drawing their claws back in unison. Desperately, Matt fired a Hyper Beam, sweeping it before him to try and hit both Dawns at once, but the Bunearies easily jumped over the beam, rising into the air before shooting back down diagonally, flying past him and landing on opposite sides behind him. One of the two ninjas vanished, and Matt's chest exploded in a shower of blood. Gurgling in disbelief, he collapsed to the ground, his Shadow Aura vanishing as he reverted to his natural self and died.

Dawn turned and coolly regarded the Azumarill's still form. _As I said…the power of Shadow isn't all it's cut out to be._

Shelly had yet to realize this, so gleefully used her Shadow powers to their fullest, exhaling Shadow Mist which bogged down the swift and lithe Absol's movements and made it harder to evade the deadly Shadow Waves the Walrein sent rippling across the ground towards her. "You made a mistake coming here, Absol! Shouldn't your disaster-sense have warned you that nothing awaited you here but your death?" Shelly bragged as Sasha, the Mist reducing her speed to make it harder for her to dodge, jumped out of the way of one Shadow Wave only to blunder right into another, causing her to cry in pain as purple-black energy washed over her.

"You are correct…I did sense a disaster…" Sasha grunted as she pulled herself to her feet. "It is not too far off, now…this temple shall collapse, purifying itself of the taint you and your kind have brought to it with its destruction. But you shall not live long enough to see that collapse, or die with your brethren…for you are the one who will die here this day, not I!"

A Future Sight energy ball materialized behind Shelly and exploded against her back, causing her to roar in pain. As she sagged forward, Sasha flicked her head to send Razor Wind flying everywhere, dispelling the Shadow Mist and allowing her to rush forward at full speed, slamming into the Walrein's chest with Quick Attack. The attack didn't budge the dark walrus due to her size and weight, but Sasha hadn't been trying to move her, she'd been trying to get close enough to Bite her and dig her claws into the Walrein's flesh with Night Slash. Bellowing in pain, Shelly retaliated with a bite of her own, using Ice Fang to pierce Sasha's side with her tusks. Sasha squeezed her eyes shut in pain, but refused to let go of Shelly, biting deeper and clawing harder to try and get through the Walrein's blubber and reach the sensitive organs within. Not intending to let Sasha get that far, Shelly's Shadow Aura blazed up, blasting Sasha away, though the Absol managed to tear off more than a few strips of Shelly's skin in the process. Growling, Shelly lunged forward with Body Slam, pinning Sasha to the ground and burning her beneath her Shadow Aura. As Sasha howled in pain, Shelly laughed and slammed her mass down again and again, eagerly anticipating the sound of Sasha's spine breaking…

Which she never heard, because another Future Sight ball slammed into the back of her head, stunning her and allowing Sasha to drive the blade on the side of her head into Shelly's gut and jerk it sideways, ripping open her flesh and causing blood to spill everywhere. Shrieking, the Walrein reared back, allowing the wounded but unbroken Sasha to withdraw and fling a Psycho Cut at Shelly's exposed stomach, drawing even more blood. Enraged, Shelly opened her mouth and used Hail, her body glowing blue as a thick fog appeared overhead and ice chunks started falling all over the place, battering Sasha and healing the Walrein thanks to her Ice Body special ability. Sneering at Sasha's clear pain, Shelly started spitting Ice Balls, each successive sphere bigger and stronger than the last. Sasha shattered the first few with Razor Wind blades, but the ones that followed just got too big to break, so she had to scurry out of the way, which wasn't easy due to her current injured condition. "What's wrong, Absol? Can't take a little cold?"

"On the contrary," Sasha said, sending a Psycho Cut flying towards Shelly. "It's _much_ colder where I come from. Even you might find yourself in dire straits in my part of the world."

"I highly doubt that!" Shelly cackled as she fired a Shadow Wave to destroy Sasha's Psycho Cut.

"Oh really? Then why are you about to fall prey to the same stratagem for the third time in a row?" Sasha asked smugly.

Shelly blinked. "Huh? What do you-" Another Future Sight ball smashed into the back of her head and exploded. "Gah! Not again!"

As Shelly shook her head in pain, Sasha dashed towards the Walrein and lunged, claws and fangs bared as she aimed for Shelly's throat. Shelly growled and spat a burst of Powder Snow, blasting Sasha away and causing her to stagger back in pain, slipping and falling as one of her legs, apparently too worn out from the fighting to support her any longer, gave out. Grinning triumphantly, Shelly lunged forward, preparing to crush Sasha with one last Body Slam…

And was startled when Sasha got to her feet and rolled out of the way in the nick of time, causing the Walrein to slam to the ground harmlessly beside her. Before Shelly could move, Sasha leaped onto her back and dug her head blade into the side of her neck, flicking it sideways and tearing open a huge gash in the blubber, causing copious amounts of blood to spew out as her arteries were severed. Shelly gasped, her Shadow Aura and the hailstorm dissipating as she reverted back to normal, her massive frame collapsing on itself as it sagged to the ground. Sasha shook herself off to get rid of the blood and the moisture of melted hailstones coating her fur. "As I told you, you would not last very long in my homeland. Nobody there is foolish enough to fall for the old 'Wounded Stantler' trick!"

While Dawn and Sasha managed to defeat their opponents with impressive skill and lethal grace, Leo was not quite so lucky. "Thunderbolt!" Leo cried dramatically, pointing at the Phione he was fighting. Nothing happened. "Ahem: Thunderbolt!" Nothing happened. He sighed. "Come on, please?" Still nothing happened. "Oh, fine…Volt Tackle!" He got on all fours and charged towards the Phione. Not only did electricity fail to generate around him, but he tripped over his own feet and tumbled head over heels, landing in a heap just before the Phione. "Ow…note to self, running on four legs is harder than it looks…"

The Phione looked at each other awkwardly. "You know, this is kind of sad…" one said.

"Yeah, we don't even need to fight him…he seems to be doing a good job of beating himself," another agreed.

"Oh yeah?" Leo said, getting back up. "You might change your tune once I hit you with my Iron Tail!" He spun around, swinging his tail at the Phione and smacking one in the face.

"Ow! What was that for?" the Phione complained angrily.

"Well, we _are_ in a fight," one of its siblings said.

"Yes, but that wasn't an attack, it was a…some kind of a slap…thing," the Phione that had gotten hit finished lamely.

"Did it at least hurt?" Leo asked hopefully.

"Well, it did initially, but not anymore," the Phione said.

Leo groaned. "Fine! Then see how you like a taste of THUNDER!" Nothing happened. "I said, THUNDER!" Still nothing happened.

"Um…do you want us to come back and try this later? You seem to be having a little trouble…" a Phione offered.

"No, no, hold on a second, I've got this under control…" Leo said. He scrunched up his face in concentration, gritting his teeth and clenching his fists. "Come on…Thunder, Thunder, _Thunder_…ThunderMeowths Ho!" The Phione stared at him. "Don't watch much television, I take it…" Leo muttered.

"Tele-what now?" a Phione asked in puzzlement.

Leo stared at them in horror, disbelief, and pity. "…You poor, poor deprived things. Now I feel even worse about the fact that I've got to beat you up. Somehow. Anyway…Thunder, Thunder, Thunder…" As he chanted this mantra, sparks started flying from his cheeks. "Yes! Come on baby, we're almost there…Thunder, Thunder, _Thunder, THUNDER-_"

He was cut off when electricity exploded all around him, causing him to dance and yelp and flail about as his skeleton was periodically visible in flashes of light before he finally collapsed to the ground, blackened and sizzling. The Phione stared at him. "Was…that supposed to happen?"

"No," Leo coughed.

"Ah," a Phione said.

Another one coughed awkwardly. "We're…just going to go over and help our siblings fight your other friend now. Bye."

Looking rather embarrassed, they glided away. Leo sighed as he picked himself up and started rummaging through Pikachu's knapsack for a healing item. "Mon, why is it that even in the body of one of the coolest guys I know I still manage to make a fool of myself?"

Pikachu, on the other hand, seemed to be handling fighting in Leo's body much better than expected. True, he didn't know how to use any of Leo's attacks, but he didn't need them so long as he had his sword, which recognized his soul as being its true wielder's and so did not harm him. Yes, Leo's body was a bit heavier and slower than he was used to, but he'd trained with weights on before, so knew how to compensate for it. And admittedly, he _was_ somewhat uncomfortable having so many odds and ends pressed against his skin, but…well…

Okay, he didn't really know how to handle that, but he refused to let it keep him down. Phione surrounded him on all sides, blasting him with Water Pulses and Ice Beams, so he didn't have time to allow his discomfort to make him slip up. His blade flashed through the air, deflecting the beams and Pulses as he spun in place, sending the attacks back at their owners, freezing some and bowling others over. While some of the Phione quickly started attacking the ice entrapping their siblings, others opened their mouths and bombarded Pikachu with Supersonic. He grimaced as the high-pitched wail washed over him…but since Leo's ears weren't nearly as sensitive as his own (and already somewhat immunized due to all the extremely loud music he listened to), the attack didn't effect him as much as it normally would, and he was able to dash towards the screamers regardless, swinging his sword at them and knocking them back with a blast of electricity. As they groaned and twitched, static crackling around him, more Phione liquefied themselves with Acid Armor and slid underneath him in a large puddle that rose up on all sides to try and envelop him. Unworried, Pikachu drove his sword into the water, electrifying it and causing it to dissolve back into the wailing Phione, who wriggled on the floor in pain.

By this point, the Phione that had been frozen solid had thawed, and tried to take revenge by combining their powers to create a Whirlpool around Pikachu, water swirling together to create a rushing vortex of destruction entrapping the body-displaced samurai. He stuck his sword into the walls of the whirlpool as they closed in on him, but while he managed to electrify it, the Phione weren't touching it, so weren't affected. Since he had no idea how to use Leo's Ice Beam, he saw little recourse but to retract into his borrowed shell and ride out the storm. He was a Water-type at the moment, after all, so it wasn't like the Whirlpool could do much damage to him, right?

Unfortunately, he made one error in judgment. As the Whirlpool collapsed on him, the Phione fired Ice Beams, freezing it solid and trapping Pikachu inside. They smiled in relief, glad they'd managed to beat the surprisingly powerful opponent. Their relief didn't last long, though, when Leo charged towards them, yelling "Quick Attaaaaaaaaaaaack!" at the top of his lungs. He tackled into one of the surprised Phione, slamming it into the ice and knocking it out. As the other Phione, including the ones who had by now recovered from being paralyzed and stunned by Thunder Fang's power, turned towards him in surprise and annoyance, the displaced Squirtle cried, "Let him out of there!"

"If you care so much about him, then you can join him in there!" the Phione said, firing Ice Beams at him.

"I don't think so! Iron Tail!" Leo swung his tail up to deflect the beams…and watched in dismay as it was frozen solid, falling to the ground with a thud. "Oh, dammit."

The Phione shook their heads and prepared to fire another salvo of Ice Beams, when they noticed something odd was going on with the frozen Whirlpool. Steam was rising from it, and water was dripping down its surface as an odd glow started growing brighter and brighter in its depths. "Huh? What's going on?" one of the Phione said in confusion.

"Is it…melting? But that can't be-" The Phione foolish enough to say this was interrupted when an entire third of the frozen Whirlpool was vaporized as a tremendous heat wave so powerful it almost set the air on fire blasted out, sending the Phione flying and nearly incinerating Leo had he not had the foresight to move out of the way in time.

"Hey, you found my Thermonuke!" Leo cried as a dripping Pikachu emerged from the melting Whirlpool, holding a familiar suped-up heater in his hands.

"It wasn't easy, considering all the other junk you've got in here," Pikachu said as he switched the device off and put it back in his shell. "How do you keep track of it all?"

"I have an organizational system that makes perfect sense, but only if your mind works exactly like mine does," Leo said.

"Ah," Pikachu said. "That would explain it." He frowned. "Care to explain why you were shouting your…well, _my_ attacks so loudly?"

"I was hoping that by calling them, I could get them to work," Leo said Mareepishly.

"…Where on Earth did you get the idea something like that would work?" Pikachu asked.

Leo shrugged. "It works well enough in anime."

Pikachu wisely decided not to touch that. "Whatever. I think that heat blast knocked those Phione for a loop…which is odd, because I would have thought they'd be fine with it, as Water Pokémon and all."

"You'd think so, but not even Water Pokémon can keep their cool if something's _really_ hot," Leo explained. "It dries us out, dehydrates us. And since Phione are almost entirely made of water anyway…"

"Are you saying I could have killed them?" Pikachu cried in alarm. "I just wanted to incapacitate them for a while…they're not evil, so they don't deserve to be killed! They're just misguided children trying to help their father."

"Their _evil_ father," Leo pointed out.

"Yes, but they themselves are not evil," Pikachu countered. "If they had been, my sword would have cut them. Instead, it just knocked them away. That means they can't be evil, since my blade is incapable of harming the innocent. Well, aside from a little electrocution."

"You should really do something about that," Leo complained. "Kinda smarts."

"It's only meant to be wielded by one of the Thunderblade line, and since we're all Electric Pokémon, it makes sense for the sword itself to be constantly electrified," Pikachu said.

"Then how come you're holding it fine in my body, but I couldn't touch it for more than a second?" Leo asked.

"Because even in this body, it recognizes my soul, so it won't harm me," Pikachu said.

Leo scowled. "That's so not fair! How come you can be a total badass even when you're in my body, yet I can't help being sort of klutzy and comedic even in someone else's body?"

"That's…just the way things are, I guess," Pikachu said awkwardly. "Sorry."

"So not cool…" Leo grumbled.

"Anyway," Pikachu said. "We need to go and save Ash from Manaphy before it's too late! I'm surprised he hasn't drowned already, actually. He's been in there a while…"

"Because it wouldn't be as dramatic that way," Leo said.

"…Is this another one of those 'talking is a free action' sorts of things?" Pikachu asked.

"Yep," Leo said.

"You _do_ realize it didn't work back on the beach, right?" Pikachu asked.

"Yes, but it's worked just about every other time I've invoked it, so I think it's safe to assume it's in effect now too," Leo said.

Pikachu sighed. "The frustrating thing is, I hope you're right…come on, let's go save him."

"Not so fast!" While they had been talking, the Phione had recovered by rehydrating themselves from some of the bountiful water spilling all over the chamber and healing their wounds, since due to their Hydration special ability they healed when immersed in liquid. They had now linked arms and formed a wall between them and Manaphy's water pillar. "Papa's waited and worked long and hard for this, and we won't let you spoil his moment of triumph!" one of them cried.

Pikachu groaned. "Oh for the love of…look, we really don't have time for this!"

"Too bad! If you want to get to Papa, you'll have to get to us first!" the Phiones said stubbornly.

"Fine," Pikachu said in exasperation. He bopped one of them on the head with his sword. Electricity was conducted from his blade and through the Phione chain, causing them to writhe and squeal in agony before falling to the floor. "Normally I'd feel bad about this, but I don't have time right now since my brother and best friend is in danger, so I'll save my regrets for later. Bye." He stepped over the groaning Phione and walked towards the pillar.

"N-no…we won't…let you…" one of the Phione gasped as it raised its head, aiming an Ice Beam at the body-swapped samurai.

"Thunderpunch!" Leo shouted, cold-cocking the Phione and knocking it out cold. "I should feel bad about that, too, but you're kind of getting on my nerves, so I'm not going to bother."

Pikachu sweatdropped. "That's…rather sociopathic of you, Leo."

"Yeah, I know," Leo said unworriedly.

"You _do_ realize that I don't know Thunderpunch, right?" Pikachu asked.

"Neither do I, and yet here I stand," Leo said. Pikachu facepalmed.

In the water pillar, things were looking rather dire for Ash. The ex-Lucario had stopped moving, his eyes were closed, and bubbles were drifting from his mouth. Manaphy cackled and pressed his flippers together, preparing for the final assault. "I'm almost disappointed, Ash…I'd thought you'd put up more of a fight! I'd hoped you'd live long enough to suffer for what you did to Mama! But I suppose drowning is a pretty awful way to go…and just to make it even worse, here's a new move I picked up, courtesy of my 'mother's' power!" Water swirled between his flippers and coalesced into a sphere even larger and wetter than an Aqua Pulse as Manaphy prepared to use Hydro Pump. "This is the end, Ash! And don't worry about your friends…I'll be sending them to join you in the Abyss soon !" His dramatic speech was interrupted by Pikachu sticking his sword into the water pillar, electrocuting him. It had no effect on Ash, due to his dual types, but the corrupted Sea Prince had no such advantage.

Neither did the Phione in the pool at the bottom of the room. The water in the pool shared the same source as the water in Manaphy's pillar, so when Pikachu electrified their father they got jolted too, causing them to lose the magical tug of war they had been having with Lily using her hat as a rope. A triumphant smile on her face, Lily levitated the hat over to her. "There we go! And none the worse for wear, either!"

"What do you mean? It's dripping wet," Tiny, who was floating beside her, pointed out.

Lily grimaced. "Oh…I guess I forgot to waterproof my hat…oh well, at least the book should be okay, and now we can get our bodies back!"

Tiny licked his lips nervously. "Assuming I have a body to go back to by now…"

Back on the platform, Pikachu kept pouring electrical current into the water pillar while venting some complaints to Leo. "What is it with these guys and their ranting on and on about how horribly they're going to destroy you and cause you so much misery rather than saving time by actually _doing_ it? I mean, I'm not complaining, since it means we get a chance to beat them, but you'd think they'd learn to stop doing it sooner or later!"

"The smart ones do," Leo said. "Well, the ones that are smart enough not to be blinded by their own brilliance and vanity, anyway. Fortunately, most villains don't fit that category, which is why they're perfectly happy to prolong a hero's demise so they can brag about their evil plans because they love the sound of their voice so much. The fact that Manaphy was doing just that when he literally had Ash at his mercy and could have killed him with a single blow but _didn't_ shows just how much of a rookie he is at this."

"Yeah, it's kind of pathetic, really," Pikachu agreed. "Anyway, while I keep him occupied, mind getting Ash out of there?"

"Why me?" Leo asked.

"Because your body is more resistant to high voltage than mine right now?" Pikachu pointed out.

"Oh yeah. That's one of the things I'm going to miss about this body. I mean, yeah, I've got tons of rubber protection in my shell, but it's not the same as a natural resistance," Leo said wistfully.

Pikachu hesitated. Something about that statement tugged at him, piquing his curiosity. He knew they didn't have time for this and that it wasn't the right moment for a conversation like the one he envisioned, and it probably never would be. He knew that whatever answer he would receive would most certainly not be something he wanted to hear, and that the question that prompted that answer was not one he really wanted to ask. But he knew that if he didn't ask it, it would keep nagging at him and festering in his mind and causing all sorts of horrible suppositions and assumptions to form in his subconscious until he went mad. So, with as much reluctance as he usually felt whenever it came to learning a bit more about the way his Squirtle teammate viewed the world, the samurai uneasily queried, "Um…rubber, huh? Do you have any that protects you from more than just…electricity?"

Leo stared at him blankly. "Huh? I don't follow."

Pikachu coughed. "You know, rubber that goes on a…certain part of you during a…certain very intimate act to protect you from something…nasty?"

"What, like rubber gloves to keep your hands from getting dirty when you're doing the dishes or cleaning the gutters or dissecting something?" Leo asked in puzzlement.

Pikachu wisely decided to pretend he hadn't heard that last part. "No, I mean…rubber for…um…how do I put this…um, you and Lily are an item now, right?"

Leo broke into a wide smile. "Oh yeah, and I'm loving it! Though I haven't had much time to enjoy it what with the whole Nihilator attack and all."

"Well, if and when you two should ever decide to…um…take things to the next level…" Pikachu said awkwardly.

"Moving in together? Getting married? Buying matching 'His' and 'Hers' toothbrushes?" Leo asked. "Give me a hint, mon, you're being way too vague."

"I mean…if you guys ever decide to do _it_…do you have something for that in your shell, the shell which I happen to be wearing right now?" Pikachu asked.

Leo scratched his head. "…I'm still not following you. What's 'it?' If it's the marriage thing, no, it's too early for that. Besides, I don't have a ring yet—though I'm working on it—"

"No, I mean…if you guys want a family or something, but you're not ready for it, but you want to go through the…er, motions…do you have anything to keep you safe?" Pikachu asked.

"Why would I possibly need something to keep me safe checking orphanages for a potential kid to adopt? I mean, unless they're one of those creepy kids with horrifying psychic and/or demonic powers you see in movies all the time that murder their foster parents and-" Leo started.

"Oh, for the love of Arceus, I'm talking about _condoms_, Leo, CONDOMS!" Pikachu shouted, finally losing his patience. "If you and Lily decide to have sex, do you have protection?"

Leo blinked. "Condoms? Ohhhh, so that's what you meant by protective rubber…why didn't you just say so in the first place? Yeah, I've got condoms. I brought some when I left home in case I needed them. Not that we're going to be using them anytime soon, of course. I mean, we only _just_ got together and it's a bit early for that and she kind of finds the whole idea of sex icky and I'm not gonna press her until she's ready, especially since her dad'll probably kill me if I take her virginity away out of wedlock—and possibly in wedlock, too—and I don't want to do it unless she wants it too, and-"

"Wait, wait, back up. You've had condoms since you left Turtle Town? You thought you might need them?" Pikachu cried in disbelief. "Why would you…why would you possibly think you might need some?"

"In case I got laid. Duh," Leo said. "I wouldn't want to get any gross diseases or accidentally impregnate someone and several years down the line run into a bastard offspring who wants to a) kill me, b) hit me up for money, or c) make up for lost time, and-"

"Why would you think you might get laid?" Pikachu demanded.

Leo shrugged. "I didn't know if I would, but I figured there might be a slim possibility of me finding a girlfriend on this whole grand adventure thing, so I thought it might be a good idea to have some on paw just in case I _did_ find a girlfriend and we eventually decided to do it while on our quest rather than waiting until afterwards. Why, do you want some? I mean, I've seen the way you and Dawn look at each other, and it's only a matter of time before she gets impatient with you acting all noble and oblivious and jumps you against your orders and fucks your brains out, and you guys _are_ going to be married when this is all over, so it's understandable if you'd want a taste of that beforehand. Well, unless your parents have a problem with it, but I don't think they would, would they? Your dad seems like he'd be cool with it. He's a really neat guy."

Pikachu turned red. "NO! Leo, I do not want or need any condoms from you! I'm not…we aren't going to…it's not happening, okay?"

_It's not?_ Dawn asked.

Pikachu started as he realized that Dawn, Sasha, Lily and Tiny were standing and floating behind him. "What the…how long have you guys been there?"

"Long enough," Tiny said with a horrified look on his face. "I have no idea what condoms are or what exactly you were talking about, and I'm not sure I want to know. Is this another one of those things Daddy's supposed to tell me later?"

"I believe so," Sasha said, looking equally horrified. "You put…_things_ on your…why would you possibly do something like that? That's disgusting and unnatural!"

"Well, not everyone has the low fertility of an Absol, so they want to take certain…precautions to make sure they don't have any 'accidental' pregnancies while mating," Leo said.

"Whatever happened to simply _not_ mating at all?" Sasha demanded.

Leo raised an eyebrow. "Then you're telling me that whenever you got an urge to mate with your mate, you wouldn't simply because there was a slight chance you'd get a baby from the deal?"

"…Hmm. I suppose you have a point," Sasha said reluctantly.

"Can we please stop talking about this?" Tiny choked. Naturally, his pleas went unheard.

"Leo, you…do you _really_ have those horrible things on you?" Lily cried.

"Well, no, technically they're on Pikachu right now," Leo said, causing Pikachu's face to turn white in disgust and embarrassment. "But yeah, I do. Why?"

"Well…it's just…I mean, I know _you're_ into that sort of thing, but…" Lily said awkwardly.

"But you're not? Relax, babe, I would never force you to do it if you didn't want to, you know that right? It's waaaaayyy too early in our relationship to be thinking about something like that, and I _know_ you don't want to do it," Leo reassured her. "I got these back before I met you or even knew you existed, just in case I ever got a girlfriend. You know me, I always plan ahead! So there's nothing sinister or voyeuristic about me carrying around a few packages of condoms just in case I needed them. We had this talk already, remember? I have absolutely no ulterior motives for being in a relationship with you whatsoever other than my genuinely liking you and wanting to be with you, _especially_ sex. And besides, it's not like they're _only_ good for sex."

Lily blinked. "They're not?"

"Oh no, you'd be surprised at the sorts of other uses you can find for these babies!" Leo said. "Which is why I intend to hang onto them even though I _know_ we won't be doing any of that in the near future, since you never know when they might come in handy for something completely unrelated to sexual intercourse….or because Dawn and Pikachu might need them, though at the moment that's looking rather unlikely…"

"Oh, all right then," Lily said, looking mollified. "Um…and what was that about a ring?"

"Er…it's a surprise," Leo said.

"A good surprise or a bad surprise?" Lily asked uneasily. "Whenever I've had surprises in the past, they were usually extremely horrible ones involving lots of screaming and dismemberment. And occasionally polka. Or Marianne burning dinner."

"A _very_ good surprise. With absolutely no polka," Leo assured her.

Lily sighed in relief. "Oh, thank goodness. Will I have to wait long for this surprise?"

"Can't tell you. If I did, it wouldn't be a surprise, now would it?" Leo said coyly. She giggled.

"…Okay, am I the only one who's weirded out at seeing what looks like my Daddy and Uncle flirting?" said a revolted Tiny.

"No, I am rather repulsed as well," Sasha said.

"Oh, good, I was worried it was just me," Tiny said in relief.

_Master…you do not wish to wed me?_ Dawn asked, looking hurt. _I knew you had your doubts and misgivings, but you seemed willing to go along with your parents' decision. But if you truly would rather we did not unite, and you would prefer to marry another womon—_

"N-no, Dawn, it's not…it's not like that!" Pikachu protested, turning redder and redder.

_Oh,_ Dawn said, her ears raising hopefully. _Then you _do_ wish to wed me?_

Pikachu gulped. "I…um…oh, look, I think Ash is about to die! Somebody get in there and save him before it's too late!" Dawn scowled at him, not fooled by this transparent diversion.

Lily blinked. "Oh, yes, I forgot about him. We must save him at once!"

"And before those Phione die too," Tiny said.

Pikachu frowned. "What Phione?"

"The ones in the pool below us being electrocuted since you've got that sword stuck into their water supply too," Sasha said.

Pikachu gasped. "What? I didn't want to hurt anyone but Manaphy!" Alarmed, he quickly drew his sword out of the pillar, causing Manaphy to stop screaming and twitching convulsively and just float about in a daze. "Leo, quick, get in there before he recovers!"

Leo saluted. "Right! And by the way, may I point out how ironic it is that, despite you being the one who always complains about how we waste too much time talking about completely unimportant and irrelevant subjects, _you're_ the one who started this current debate?"

Pikachu's eye twitched. "Just…just save Ash already, will you?"

Leo nodded. "Aye-aye, samurai!" He jumped into the pillar.

"And remember to hold your breath!" Pikachu shouted after him. "You might be able to breathe underwater, but I can't!"

"This 'breathing' thing you mortals have is so odd," said a perplexed Lily, who had been forced to learn rather quickly how to breathe upon her insertion into Ash's body. "Some of you can breathe underwater but not in the air. Some of you can breathe in the air but not underwater. And others still can do both. I've even heard there are those who can breathe in outer space, while most other people cannot! Why can't you just have a more universal standard for breathing? It would be so much simpler that way."

"You would have to ask Arceus and Mew that. They made everything, so if anyone knows why we were all created to be different, it's Them," Sasha said.

"Oh," said Lily. She frowned uneasily. "You don't…think we're going to meet Them, do you? I doubt personages as great as Them would be…pleased for someone as undeserving and sinful as I to be in their presence…"

"Arceus and Mew love and forgive everyone," Pikachu assured her. "It's what They do. And besides Lily, you aren't _nearly_ as evil as all that. I'm sure They'd be happy to meet you."

"Your mother, on the other hand…" Sasha said.

Dawn nodded. _Even They would have trouble forgiving someone as evil as her._

"And I'm her daughter, and my soul is bound to the betrayer Giratina…why should they tolerate me?" Lily asked unhappily.

"Because you aren't nearly as bad as Bellum or Giratina, and you have a heart," Pikachu said.

"And besides, you're a good girl now, Lily! Why would They possibly hate a hero?" Tiny asked.

Lily smiled faintly. "I hope you are right…"

There was a splash of water and a soaking wet Leo jumped out of the pillar, dragging an unconscious Ash behind him. "Phew! Swimming when you're not a Water-type is harder than I thought. And I'm starting to reconsider my desire to have bishonen hair…" He looked down at his dripping form in disgust. "I mean, if it's anything like fur, I'm not sure it's worth it. It's so…_heavy_…and itchy…and it gets all over the place…"

"That's what I said!" Lily said. "I much prefer my own hair, since it's not actually hair but a mass of ectoplasmic tendrils controlled by my thoughts. And I think you would look terrible with hair, I much prefer your soft, smooth blue skin."

Leo smiled dopily. "D'awww, thanks, Lily!"

"Can you two flirt later? We have to save Daddy!" Tiny cried. "I don't think he's breathing!"

Lily sighed. "See? I told you, you mortals should have a more uniform system, then things like this wouldn't happen!"

Pikachu pressed his head to Ash's chest. "I can hear a heartbeat…I think…it's hard to tell without actual ears…Leo, how do you hear anything?"

"How do _you_ hear anything? I'm surprise you haven't gone deaf, considering how sensitive these things are!" Leo said, pointing to his long borrowed ears.

_It's something one grows used to,_ Dawn said.

"I'll cast a healing spell," Lily said…only to do nothing. "Is…what I would say if I weren't stuck in Ash's body. I don't think I can do that from in here."

"Well, somebody do _something!_ I don't want Daddy to die!" Tiny yelled.

"Leo, I don't suppose you have some sort of breathing-restarting-thing in your shell, do you?" Pikachu asked.

"Yeah, but it'd take forever for you to find it. I can take care of this on my own! Stand back, everyone!" Leo said dramatically. "According to the license I got online, I'm a doctor!"

Pikachu sweatdropped. "Why am I not reassured?"

Leo bent over Ash and leaned his head down until their mouths almost touched. Tiny made a disgusted face. "Are you going to _kiss_ him?"

"Leo! I thought I was the only person you were going to do that too!" Lily cried in alarm.

"He's not going to kiss Ash, he's going to give him mouth-to-mouth," Pikachu said.

Leo snorted. "Psh, that outdated trick? Please, I've got something that works _much_ better!"

"…Why am I even _less_ reassured?" Pikachu moaned.

"What are you going to do, then?" Sasha asked.

"The I. M. Buizel maneuver!" Leo said proudly.

_Who is I. M. Buizel?_ Dawn asked.

"A completely underrated and underappreciated physician whose technique I'm going to use to save Ash's life," Leo said. "Like so!" He bent back down until his lips almost touched Ash's, took a deep breath…

And shouted, "WAKE UUUUUUUUUUUUUP!" at the top of his lungs. Everyone facefaulted.

Ash's eyes shot open and he spat water all over Leo's face. Leo backed off and wiped his face. "Well, isn't that a friendly how-do-you-do?"

"Ugh…that was not a fun experience…" Ash groaned.

"Daddy!" Tiny cried happily, releasing an Aura burst that sent him flying through the air and slamming into Ash, knocking him back to the ground. "Oops."

"Ow…" Ash moaned.

"Are you okay? Everything intact?" Pikachu asked as he helped Ash back to his feet.

"I'm sure we've got some Potions and stuff in here to heal you up…wow, are you ever underprepared, Pikachu. You call _this_ a Rescue Kit?" Leo complained as he rummaged through Pikachu's supplies. "I'm amazed you've lasted this long. There's nothing in here to save you from giant robots, zombie viruses, or monsters from another dimension. If I didn't know better, I'd say this was your very first adventure!" Pikachu sweatdropped.

"I'm okay, it was the water pressure and lack of air that got me more than Manaphy's actual attacks…even with that Blue Orb, he isn't really very strong," Ash said. He frowned. "No offense, I'm grateful that you guys saved me, but…seriously, what took you so long?"

"Well…um…" Pikachu fidgeted.

"Pikachu and Leo were having a discussion about condoms," Sasha said.

"…What," Ash said flatly.

"Yeah, I have plenty in my shell. Do you want any?" Leo asked. "I'm sure you'll be needing some once Misty gets back from outer space, nudge nudge, wink wink."

"Why did you say 'nudge nudge, wink wink?'" Lily asked in confusion.

"Because I could have actually done those, but saying them out loud was both sillier and more lewd," Leo explained.

"Oh," Lily said, not understanding. Just because she was his girlfriend didn't mean she comprehended the way Leo's mind worked.

"That's…um…yeah, I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that," Ash said finally.

"I wish I could," Tiny said morosely. "Daddy, that's another thing you're going to have to explain to me…what condoms are and why people need them. Though I'm not sure how badly I want to know…"

"Just like I'm not sure how badly I want to tell you," Ash said. "Anyway…Lily, can you put us back in our proper bodies now and I don't have to stare at my body floating in midair like that? It's kind of weird."

"Sure," Lily said. She said a few words, and her witch's hat turned over and shook itself out, causing her spell book to fall out. It stopped in midair before it could hit the ground, rose up, and flipped open. "Now, let's see…" Lily murmured as the pages turned themselves. "The spell I'm looking for should be right…here…ah, there it is!" She chanted an incantation in the lovely almost song-like cant she usually used for magic, marred slightly by it being Ash's voice that intoned it rather than Lily's.

Everyone except Dawn and Sasha glowed red, and energy balls shot out from their bodies and flew into each other. Leo, who was now a Squirtle again, yelped and dropped Pikachu's sword. "Mon, that's the second time it's done that…"

Pikachu, who was now…well, a Pikachu again, picked up the sword. "And it'll be the last time, so long as you keep your paws off it."

_Master! You are back in your regular form!_ Dawn said, elated.

"And happy to be there," Pikachu said.

"Aren't you going to hug him to show him how much you missed him?" Leo asked lewdly.

_Why? He has been here the whole time,_ Dawn said.

"Yes, but not in the sexy bod I know you like," Leo said with a wink.

"…I'm going to pretend I didn't just hear you calling me sexy," Pikachu said slowly.

"I'm back on the ground! I'll never leave you again!" Tiny, who was a Larvitar once more, cried in delight, bending over to kiss the floor…and wincing in pain. "Ow…could I get a Potion over here, please?"

"I'll do you one better," Lily, who was a Misdreavus again, said as she put her hat back on and cast a healing spell to mend Tiny and everone else's wounds. "Ah, it feels so good to be me again…I didn't realize how much I appreciated being undead until I was alive. Leo, I don't see why you're so obsessed with living forever, being a spirit is much more preferable."

"That may be the case, but I'm not looking forward to the method by which I'd have to become one…" Leo said.

"I could make it quick and painless, if you change your mind," Lily offered. "It would be like falling asleep and waking up from a long, dull dream."

Leo sweatdropped. "I'll…keep that in mind, thanks."

Ash patted his body to make sure he was himself again. "Phew, it's a relief to be my proper height again…it felt weird being so short, no offense Tiny."

Tiny shrugged. "None taken."

"Anyway, now that we're back in our own bodies, it's time to finish Manaphy!" Leo declared.

"Oh really?" Manaphy, who had recovered while the others had been healing and swapping bodies, asked. "And what's to keep me from just using Heart Swap again and putting you in even _more_ inconvenient forms?"

"This," Pikachu said, sticking his sword in the pillar.

Manaphy jerked and shook spasmodically as electricity convulsed through him. "Gyahghghahgh! Don't _do_ that!" he shouted when Pikachu withdrew his sword.

"Why not?" Pikachu asked.

"Because it _hurts!_" Manaphy snarled.

"So did your trying to drown me while pummeling me and ranting about how much you hated me," Ash said.

"So consider this karmic retribution," Pikachu said, inserting his sword again.

"Garrrghhhghghllll! Stop that!" Manaphy yelled when Pikachu took out his sword again.

"Why?" Pikachu asked.

"Because I said so!" Manaphy snapped.

"Mmm…no." Pikachu put the sword back in again.

"Kyaahhhrrrlllliiiphhhbbbttt!" Manaphy wailed.

"You're enjoying this way too much," Ash commented.

Pikachu grimaced. "I blame Leo. Some of his…Leo-ness must have rubbed off on me."

"Sweet!" Leo said, the sort of-insult falling flat. "Then does that mean some of your Pikachu-ness rubbed off on me? Hey Lily, do I look any cooler or more badass than usual?"

Lily appraised him for a moment. "Well…I think you've lost a few ounces…"

"Eh, good enough," Leo said.

Several Phione rushed over. "Stop that!" one shouted.

"You're hurting Papa!" said another.

"And our siblings in the pool!" said a third.

Pikachu blinked. "Huh? Oh crap, I forgot about them! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt them!" He quickly withdrew his sword again.

Manaphy panted. "Ugh…okay, I'm really starting to despise you."

"Didn't you already hate him?" Sasha asked.

"No, I hated Ash, and mildly disliked the rest of you for being associated with him. Now I hate you all. Or Pikachu, anyway," Manaphy elaborated.

"Oh, all right," said Sasha.

"I am so disappointed to hear that," Pikachu said deadpan.

"Manaphy, look, it doesn't have to be this way!" Ash said. "I know the Manaphy I met all those years ago is still in there somewhere…the one who wasn't a jerk and a traitor and a not-very-competent villain-"

"Hey!" Manaphy said.

"He has a point Papa, you're not a very good villain," a Phione said apologetically. Manaphy's eye twitched.

"The Manaphy I was friends with still exists. I have to believe that," Ash continued. "And I can bring him out again, and reunite him with his mother, so he can be happy again. All I ask is that you give me a chance. Just trust me! Please…I can save you, Manaphy. I can _redeem_ you."

"You can? How?" Tiny asked skeptically.

_The same way he redeemed me,_ Dawn said.

Tiny frowned. "Oh. But you deserved to be saved. Manaphy doesn't!"

"If you only rescued the people who 'deserved' to be saved, then you aren't a hero," Leo said.

Sasha rolled her eyes. "Heroism is overrated. It would be easier just to kill him."

"The easy way isn't always the right way," Pikachu said.

"Then why have we been killing all the bad guys we've fought instead of redeeming _them_, too?" Tiny asked. "Since by that logic, we should have been saving them as well!"

"Well…hmm. That's actually a good question," Pikachu admitted. "I'm not really sure how to reply to that. Leo?"

Leo shrugged. "Got me, mon. That's one of the ethical dilemmas I've been worrying about, too."

"Well, I can resolve this dilemma for you pretty easily…I refuse your 'aid!'" Manaphy snapped. "I don't need to be redeemed! Do you really think I would believe in you again after everything you've done to me? After all the other 'friends' you've let down? I'm not that stupid, Ash! I won't give you the opportunity to 'fix' me so you can feel better about yourself! I've waited too long for this, and now that you're finally before me, there's no room for regrets or forgiveness, only _venge_arghlbhlhblhblhgl!" he sputtered as Pikachu stuck his sword in the pillar again.

"Sorry," Pikachu said when the others stared at him and the Phiones gasped. "Couldn't resist."

"I really _did_ rub off on you, didn't I?" Leo said with admiration.

Pikachu sighed mournfully. "I know. I'm scared too."

Ash's face fell. "Manaphy…"

"Okay, I'm _really_ getting sick of that!" Manaphy shouted when Pikachu withdrew his sword again. He leaped out of the pillar with a splash, landing several yards away. "There! Let's see you try that trick of yours now!"

"Okay," Pikachu said, firing a Thunderbolt and electrocuting Manaphy again.

"…This is kind of pathetic," Sasha said.

"I'd feel sorry for him if he weren't such an obnoxious brat," Leo agreed.

"Daddy, even at my worst, I could never have become like him…right?" Tiny asked anxiously.

"Huh? Oh, no. No…no way," Ash said, snapping out of his reverie for a moment. "Even back then, you still knew the difference between right and wrong, something that Manaphy seems to have forgotten long ago."

Tiny smiled in relief. "That's what I thought." He glanced at the Phione. "And I don't think he's the only one who's forgotten that…" The Sea Drifters exchanged uneasy looks.

"…All right, that does it! I've had enough!" Manaphy screamed when Pikachu finally let off the juice. "I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice! Time for Plan K!"

"Don't you mean Plan B?" Leo asked.

"No, I mean Plan K!" Manaphy declared as the Blue Orb started glowing ominously.

Outside the temple, Kyogre's eyes glowed as she received a summons from her master. Breaking off her fight with Polly the giant undead Crawdaunt, she turned to answer his hail. Polly's claw shot out to grab her, not quite ready to end the fight just yet, and she retaliated with an angry flick of an Aqua Tail, severing his pincer. As his claw tumbled into the depths, Polly shrieked angrily and drew back his remaining claw in a Crabhammer. Kyogre surged forward, leaving a yellow trail of energy behind her as she slammed into Polly's arm with Double-Edge, the tackle snapping his arm off at the shoulder and sending it tumbling into the abyss after its brother. As Polly screeched in alarm, Kyogre smashed into him with Body Slam, cracking his armor, then opened her mouth and fired a point-blank Sheer Cold, the light blue energy wave surging outward and freezing Polly, as well as everything within several dozen meters, in a tremendous glacial chunk of ice. As the ice and the frozen Polly were buoyed up towards the surface, Kyogre turned and swam at top speeds towards the temple, ready to serve her master.

Inside the temple, Team Aurabolt glanced around, but despite Manaphy's dire proclamation, nothing happened. "Well, that was disappointing," Leo said.

"Zap him again," Tiny suggested.

"Okay," Pikachu said, powering up.

Sasha stiffened. "Wait! Something is…" Her heart skipped a beat. "Oh no. RUN!"

Hearing her panicked cry, none of them questioned her warning, knowing how accurate her senses had been in the past. As one, they turned and ran to the other side of the platform as Manaphy laughed insanely and the wall behind him exploded as Kyogre's head smashed through, water and chunks of rock and metal flying everywhere as the divine whale made her presence felt with a roar so powerful that most of the machinery in the room shattered, causing the whole temple to rumble as many of its vital systems were badly damaged.

"HOLY FUCK!" Leo shouted. "He cast Summon Bigger Fish, er, whale!"

"Oh no, not her again!" Lily moaned.

"P-Papa?" the Phione gasped.

"Manaphy! What the Abyss do you think you're doing?" Ash cried as cracks zigzagged out from the hole Kyogre had made, water leaking from the fissures and bits and pieces of the ceiling starting to crumble.

Manaphy cackled and backflipped, landing on Kyogre's head. "Winning this battle! The last time you tangled with Kyogre, you barely made it out alive…this time, there'll be no 'barely!' You'll fall before our combined power!" Kyogre bellowed again, causing the room's integrity to deteriorate even further.

"Papa, no, you can't!" one of the Phione cried.

"If you use any of Kyogre's attacks in here, you'll destroy the Sea Crown, along with the entire temple!" said another.

"Not to mention _us_," a third said anxiously.

Manaphy actually hesitated for a moment. "Then…get out of here. This is between me and Ash. I don't want any of you to have to die because of him. I already lost the person I loved most because of him, and I don't want to lose you too!"

"You know, that would probably be a lot more touching if you hadn't been throwing them at us for the last few minutes as little more than disposable henchmon…" Leo muttered.

"Maybe so, but it proves he still has a heart in there," Ash said.

"Well of course he does, he's not a Shadow Pokémon," Lily said.

"But Papa, what about the temple?" a Phione asked.

Manaphy frowned. "What about the temple?"

"If you use Kyogre's attacks in here, you'll destroy it!" the Phione pointed out.

"Yes, but I'll also kill Ash, so I think it's a fair trade-off," Manaphy said.

The Phione stared at him speechlessly. "…Destroying our home just to kill one Pokémon? Papa, have you forgotten how much we sacrificed to get this place back? We betrayed our divine heritage to side with those who seek to destroy the world, sold out Grandma and the Lugias, even allowed the Nihilators to defile the temple and use it as a fortress to control the seas because we figured that so long as it was still in our possession, it was all worth it! But after everything we went through to reclaim Samiya, you're saying you'd destroy it just to kill Ash?"

"In a heartbeat!" Manaphy said, shocking them.

"But…but this is our home. _Your_ home. It's your duty to protect it. That duty was taken from you, but you got it back, and you…you just want to throw it away again?" the Phione cried.

"We can build a new temple. A bigger and better one!" Manaphy said.

"But that's not the point! _This_ one was entrusted to us to protect! _This_ one is where we belong! You can't just destroy it, make a new one, and act like everything's okay!" the Phione protested.

"Why not?" Manaphy said. "The same powers who entrusted this temple to me took it away! Why should I feel any attachment to something like that, when I could make a new place with my own hands? With the power of Kyogre, I could create a temple the likes of which the world has never seen before, an indestructible palace with which we will rule the ocean!"

"But we aren't _supposed_ to rule the ocean! We're supposed to _protect_ it!" a Phione cried.

"And that's what we'll do! We'll protect the ocean by conquering it! That would make things easier, wouldn't it?" Manaphy said. "All I have to do is kill Ash first, and then our problems will be solved forever! Isn't killing him and avenging Mama worth destroying this dusty old relic?"

"…Wow. He's really messed up, huh?" Leo commented.

_That's kind of an understatement_, Dawn said.

"He _really_ hates you, huh?" Pikachu said to Ash.

Ash sighed unhappily. "It certainly looks that way…oh, Manaphy…"

"Papa…we…we can't let you do this," a Phione said.

Manaphy frowned. "Huh? What are you talking about?"

"We've supported you all this time, despite everything you've done, because you're our Papa and we love you, and we want you to be happy," the Phione said. "We helped you betray Grandma and the Lugias. We helped you retake Samiya. We even helped you assist the Nihilators in spreading their evil. But…but this…this is too much. Your thirst for revenge has overwhelmed you, Papa. We mourn Mama as much as you do, but…but to let your anger at her death lead you to this? We can't…we can't condone it."

Manaphy stiffened. "…What are you saying?"

"We're saying…" the Phione trembled, unable to voice its feelings.

"We're saying," another spoke up. "That we can't let you do this, Papa."

Manaphy stared at them for a long while in disbelief. And then he began to quiver with rage. "Even you…even you would betray me?"

"We're not betraying you, Papa!" a Phione cried.

"We love you!" said another.

"But we can't let you do this! You've let your grief consume you, twist you into something…something horrible," another said.

"Please Papa, come to your senses! Can't you be like you were before?" yet another begged. "Before the Nihilators, before the bitterness and anger, before the revenge…can't you be the happy and fun-loving Papa we all remember and love?"

Manaphy's eyes and the Blue Orb flashed. Kyogre hissed in reaction to his emotions. "That Papa was weak…he couldn't kill Ash…he couldn't save Mama…he couldn't save _anyone!_ This is who I am now, and if you can't handle that, then…then you can die with Ash and the rest!"

The Phione gasped. "Papa, no!"

"You're going to kill your own children just because they disagree with you?" Ash asked incredulously. "That's…that's just…" And to think, just a second ago he had thought Manaphy could be redeemed!

"Aaaand now he's crossed the Moral Event Horizon," Leo said.

"The what now?" Sasha asked.

"The point beyond which a villain can no longer be pitied or have any hope of redemption, due to their committing or planning to commit an act so horrible he can never be forgiven," Leo said.

"Didn't he already pass that point, what with abandoning those villagers, joining the Nihilators, betraying Kyogre and the Lugias…" Lily said.

"You can cross the horizon more than once," Leo said.

"We can't let you do this, Manaphy!" Pikachu said.

"And what are you going to do to stop me, huh?" Manaphy taunted. Pikachu hit him with a Thunderbolt. "…Okay, I'm _really_ sick of that! Kyogre, KILL EVERYONE!" Kyogre complied, opening her mouth and charging up a Hyper Beam.

"Everyone, fire into her mouth!" Ash yelled, charging up and hurling an Aura Sphere. The others—including the terrified Phione-quickly joined him with Thunderbolts, Psycho Cuts, Hidden Powers, Shadow Balls, and various Ice Beams and Water Pulses.

Unfortunately, Manaphy seemed to have anticipated this, and summoned water tentacles from the walls and pool below. The tentacles wove together to create a liquid lattice in front of Kyogre, catching the attacks before they could strike the whale. Manaphy laughed as the tendrils were frozen and shattered by the combined force of the blasts. "Nice try, but you're too late! Kyogre, finish them!"

"Oh, shit," Pikachu murmured as the ball of orange energy reached critical.

"Lily, can you use that Substitute trick of yours to save us?" Leo asked the witch.

She shook her head. "Us, maybe, but not all the Phione…and I definitely can't save the temple!"

_Then…is this really it?_ Dawn wondered in alarm, calculating if she could grab Pikachu and drag him to safety through the shadows before it was too late.

"No," Sasha said. "Today is not the day we die."

She was right. Kyogre fired the Hyper Beam, sending a tremendous blast of pure annihilation right towards them…which splintered harmlessly against a Protect field which sprang up to encircle Team Aurabolt, the Phione, and the Sea Crown. "WHAT?" Manaphy cried in disbelief.

"We're…alive?" a Phione wondered incredulously.

"This shield…there's only one Pokémon I know of who could have done this!" Ash said, hope returning to him.

"Actually, there's lots of Pokémon who can use Protect," Leo said.

"…Only one Pokémon we're intimately involved with who's in the vicinity," Ash amended. "And that's…"

The far wall exploded as the grizzled old Metang punched through it from the other side. "Captain Briney!" he bellowed.

"Abyss yeah! Briney's in the house!" Leo cried.

"I think our odds of getting out of this just rose significantly," Pikachu said with a grin.

"Briney! You made it!" Tiny said, face lighting up with joy.

"Of course I did! I told you I'd join you eventually, didn't I?" Briney asked as he floated over. "I'm only sorry I took so long. My…other business ate up more time than I planned. But now that I'm back, we can show this snot-nosed brat not to mess with his elders!"

"…I'm several centuries older than you," Manaphy pointed out.

"Your emotional elders, boy. Until you get a mustache as nice as this one, you have no right to say you're older than me," Briney said, pointing to his mustache.

"It really is a nice mustache," Sasha admitted.

"How do you keep it so sharp and trim?" Lily asked.

"With only the best metal hair-care products, of course," Briney said.

"So, you think you can beat me now that you've got the legendary Captain Briney on your side?" Manaphy asked angrily. "It doesn't matter to me how many friends you call to help you…one way or another, you'll all die, and the fact that you're all together now just makes it easier for me to finish you off!" Water tentacles lashed out, thrusting towards Briney.

The Metang's eyes flashed, and the tentacles shattered, splitting into globules of water that orbited him like the rings of an atom. As Manaphy gawked in surprise, Leo and Dawn used their Ice Beams to freeze the globules, which Briney then telekinetically flung back at Manaphy as ice shards. The corrupted deity squawked in alarm and scrambled further back up Kyogre's head to keep from being impaled by the shards, which drove themselves into Kyogre's flesh and caused her to hiss in pain. "What, is that all you've got?" Briney taunted.

"It certainly isn't!" Manaphy snarled. "Kyogre, another Hyper Beam! Let's see if he can Protect against an attack like that a second time!" Kyogre obediently opened her jaws and started charging energy again.

"I don't need to," Briney said. "Everyone, fire into Kyogre's mouth!" Seeing no reason to question him, everyone did just that. Manaphy again called up a lattice of water tendrils, but Briney telekinetically pulled them apart, allowing the energy blasts to go through and strike the mass growing in Kyogre's mouth, causing it to explode in her throat and shake the room. She roared in pain, blood dripping from her jaws as she convulsed and damaged the chamber more.

"Agh! It seems I've underestimated you," Manaphy admitted. "But let's see how those powers of yours help you when you're in the body of one of your friends!" His antenna parted and began to glow as he prepared Heart Swap, firing energy bolts at Briney and Tiny.

Tiny scowled. "Why does he keep choosing me to put his most dangerous enemies in?"

"Because you're the youngest and most vulnerable to his attacks?" Sasha said. Tiny grunted.

"Please, like I'm going to let a cheap magic trick like that get me?" Briney snorted, his eye glowing blue and causing the pink energy ball Manaphy shot at him to freeze in midair.

Manaphy started in astonishment. "Wh-what? You can't…you can't do that!" His eyes and Blue Orb glowed as he increased his power output, antenna twitching agitatedly. The energy ball grew in volume…but didn't move even an inch closer to Briney, who just stared at it steadily, his eye a bright blue. "How…how is this possible? You can't nullify my attack! I'm a god! A _god!"_

Briney scoffed. "You may be a god…but I! AM! _BRINEY!_" His eyes flashed, and he flung the energy ball back at Manaphy, bowling him over.

Kyogre snarled and retaliated by firing a Hydro Pump large enough to drown all of them from her mouth. Unfortunately for her, Leo, Dawn, and every Phione in the room hit it with Ice Beam, freezing it solid and plugging her mouth. Everyone else then shattered the ice block with their attacks, and Briney grabbed the pieces and flung them back at her telekinetically, imbedding them in the deity's hide and drawing more blood. Briney laughed as the whale howled in pain. "You know, at this rate one has to wonder if people are going to start worshipping him other than the gods," Leo commented as the Phione stared in wonder at the incredible Metang.

Sasha frowned. "They had better not. I doubt my master would be happy about that…"

"And neither would I. I'm happier worshipping my own gods rather than a crazy sea captain," Pikachu said.

_I heard that_, Briney said telepathically.

"I know you did. You would have read my mind anyway, so I saw no reason to hide my thoughts on the matter," Pikachu said flatly.

_Good point,_ Briney said.

"Okay…I may have underestimated you a little…again…but I can still win this!" Manaphy said.

"Oh, you did _not_ just say that," Leo said smugly.

At that very moment, Barbedo and several of the pirates appeared at the entrance to the room. "Ahoy, Team Aurabolt! So ye've found the rascal, have ye? Ooh, and the bitch goddess, too!" Barbedo chortled. "Now that we've finished off the rest of those Nihilator scalawags, we just need to kill him and Kyogre, take the Sea Crown, finish our fight, and we can call it a day!"

"You know, I never thought I'd be happy to see a bunch of undead pirates show up to help us before now," Ash commented.

"Neither did I, and I'm still not happy, considering he's going to try and kill us again once this is all over," Pikachu said.

_We don't actually need their help,_ Dawn sniffed.

"Yeah, but now that undead pirates have been thrown into the mix, this battle just got even cooler!" Leo gushed.

"I'm…conflicted," said a confused Phione as Barbedo shot his grappling hook peg leg across the broken bridge, allowing his crew to shimmy across it to reach the platform. "Papa's trying to destroy the Temple—and us—but those people want to hurt Papa and steal the Sea Crown. Who should we be fighting exactly?"

"Maybe we should wait and see how the battle goes and make up our minds later?" another Phione suggested.

"I suppose we could," the first Phione said. "But…" He grimaced as the pirates came over, allowing him to get a good look at their fearsome bony visages and rattling weapons. "I'm not sure we can defeat _either_ group that wins this…"

"It's good to see you, Captain," Ash said as Barbedo approached. "I…think…"

"It be good to see ye too, lad!" Barbedo laughed, smacking Ash on the back so hard he knocked him to the ground. "I'm both disappointed and relieved ye haven't finished off that runt yet…I'd expected ye to have beaten him by now, but on the plus side, since ye haven't, that means I get the pleasure of doing it meselef, am I right, mateys?"

"Aye, Cap'n!" the other pirates cheered.

"What took you guys so long?" Tiny asked.

"We had to hunt down and finish off every Nihilator in the fortress," Fat Pete said smugly. "It would spoil our reputation to leave any survivors!"

"But if there are no survivors, then how is anyone going to know that you're back or as strong as you are?" Sasha asked.

There was an awkward pause. "Er…Mayhaps we got a little carried away…" Molly said.

"It _has_ been a long time since we last did any real piracy, we're a bit out of practice," Pete admitted Mareepishly.

"No worries lads, we'll have lots of time to make up for it in the future…and with a conquest this big, we'll be the most feared pirates in all the seas again in no time!" Barbedo bragged.

Manaphy growled. "If you think I'm going to be intimidated by a bunch of long-dead thugs, you've got another thing coming!" Barbedo threw his sword at Manaphy. He screamed and ducked before it could cut off his head. "On second thought, perhaps a tactical retreat is in order. I can always kill Ash another day, after all. Kyogre, let's get out of here!" Kyogre tried to back out of the hole in the wall…

But Briney wouldn't let her. "Oh no you don't, neither of you are going anywhere!" he growled, eye glowing as he exerted his psychic powers to hold Kyogre in place. "You're going to pay for sinking the _Peeko XI!_ Get them, lads!"

"Hey, I give the orders here, not ye!" Barbedo growled. "Ahem. Get 'em, lads!" The pirates roared and leaped onto Kyogre, clawing and stabbing at her. The whale screeched in pain and shook her head, trying to throw them off, but they were tenacious skeletons, and they dug in with all the strength they had in their bony frames, refusing to let their long-time adversary escape them yet again. Terrified by the ferocious-looking undead crawling up Kyogre's sides towards him, Manaphy wailed in fright and jumped off his mother's back, diving towards the pool at the bottom of the room in hopes of swimming to safety.

Unfortunately, Dawn and Leo hit it first with an Ice Beam, causing him to slam face-first into a frozen pool. "Ow."

Team Aurabolt (sans Briney, who was using his powers to keep Kyogre in place) leaped down to the surface of the frozen pool to confront Manaphy. "It's over, Manaphy!" Ash said. "Surrender and we won't make this any harder than it has to be!"

"Oh, like I'm really supposed to believe that?" Manaphy snarled, conjuring a Whirlpool over his head and flinging it at the heroes. Dawn and Lily froze it with Ice Beam, and Lily vaporized it with a burst of flame. Seeing this, he screeched out a Supersonic, hoping to stun them long enough to make a getaway, but Leo had seen this coming and put on his earmuffs, keeping his head clear long enough to blast at Manaphy with Bubblebeam, knocking him back.

Getting back to his feet as the heroes approached, Manaphy fell back on his old standby of giant water tentacles from the walls, the tendrils lashing out to try and crush or ensnare the Rescue Team. This had about as much success as his previous efforts; Leo and Dawn froze the tentacles, Pikachu cut them to pieces with his sword, Ash and Sasha evaded them using their reflexes and special senses, and Tiny just blasted them apart with Hidden Power balls. Seeing this wasn't working, Manaphy formed a Water Pulse, but instead of throwing it at his foes, he smashed it into the ice, breaking the surface and creating a hole through which the waters beneath could be seen. He dove in, using Acid Armor to melt into liquid and disappear from view, confident there was no way they could catch him now.

He was wrong, of course. When they reached the hole he had made, Pikachu thrust his sword into the water and released a charge that electrified the water, shocking Manaphy back into solidity and blasting him out of the water, smashing through the ice in the process and slamming into the wall. Seeing he was close to a water channel, he desperately scrambled towards it, only for a Psycho Cut flung by Sasha to cut him off. Frantic, he tried to run the other way, only to be cut off by a very large fireball from Lily. Realizing he was cornered, he tried his last resort, covering himself in purple and yellow energy and charging forwards with Giga Impact…

Which Ash dispelled with a single Aura-infused punch, the blow knocking Manaphy out of his charge and smashing him into the wall hard enough to crater it. As he pulled himself to his feet, he found that he was surrounded, so tried his _other_ last resort: Heart Swap. That attempt fell flat, however, when Dawn grabbed one of his antenna and Sasha bit into the other, and they pulled them apart, drawing them taut and lifting Manaphy into the air. He flailed rather pathetically between them. "Ack! Hey! Don't touch those! Those are sensitive!"

"That was…almost disappointingly easy," Pikachu commented as Dawn and Sasha shook Manaphy until he turned rather green. "I was expecting him to put up more of a fight."

"Eh, you can't always have asskicking hardasses for boss fights," Leo said reasonably. "Sometimes the bad guy is a sissy, and there's nothing you can do about it."

"I am not a sissy!" Manaphy snapped.

"Pretty much your entire motivation for doing evil is that you miss your mother," Leo said. "Sounds like a sissy villain to me."

"Hey, what's wrong with missing your mother?" Tiny asked, offended.

"Nothing, it's just that most of the time bad guys have better reasons for being bad guys than that," Leo said.

Lily frowned. "Then what is my mother's reason for being evil?"

"She's a complete and utter bitch?" Pikachu suggested.

"Oh, right, that explains it," Lily said.

_What shall we do with him?_ Dawn asked.

"Hold him steady," Ash said, paws burning with Aura.

"What…what are you going to do to me?" Manaphy asked, eyes wide in alarm.

"Something that should have happened a long time ago…I'm going to purify you!" Ash said.

"Um, Ash, there's nothing to purify him _of._ He isn't poisoned or drugged or a Shadow Pokémon," Pikachu pointed out.

Ash shook his head. "Of course there's something to purify him of! His sorrow and grief have tainted his heart and made him what he is now. If I can purify him of that anger, if I can make him realize the truth about himself and what he's done, then maybe he can be like he was before…the Manaphy I remember. The Manaphy that May loved…"

"So what, you're going to brainwash me?" Manaphy snarled. "No way! I won't allow anyone to change the way I feel, especially not _you_, Ash!" He began to liquefy as he used Acid Armor to try and slip out of Sasha and Dawn's clutches.

"Manaphy, no!" Ash cried, reaching out to grasp Manaphy's left arm…and accidentally pulling it off completely due to its semiliquid state. Ash and everyone stared at the limb in his hands in disbelief before it turned into water and melted away, taking the Blue Orb with it. Ash blinked. "Um. Okay. That was not supposed to happen."

"Aaaagh! My arm!" Manaphy screamed as he solidified, water pouring from the stump where his limb had used to be. "You idiot! You've ruined everything _again!_ Do you have any idea what you've just done?"

"Made you eligible to join Barbedo's crew?" Tiny suggested.

"That's legs, Tiny, most pirates don't bother with prosthetic arms," Leo said. "Hands, yes, but whole arms? Not so much."

"That arm was the one that had the Blue Orb in it!" Manaphy shouted. "Without it, Kyogre's no longer under my control!"

"Is that bad?" Lily asked.

They got their answer when Kyogre's eyes flashed, turning from blue back to their original color of yellow. She blinked in confusion, as if unaware of where she was or how she had gotten there or why there were skeletal pirates crawling over her. And then the memories of the last few months rushed back to her, all the things Manaphy had done to her and made her do.

And then she got _angry_. Roaring so loudly that the room was almost shaken apart, Kyogre thrashed her head around, spreading the cracks in the walls and causing more water to leak in as she flung the startled pirates off of her and knocked the surprised Briney back, not caring that they took sizable chunks of her flesh with them. Having managed to give herself more room to move around at the expense of bringing the temple that much closer to ruin, Kyogre turned her massive head to gaze down at her traitorous child and the Pokémon surrounding him. With a blood-curdling howl, she surged forward towards them.

"RUUUUUUUUN!" Leo screamed, running away as fast as he could. The others ran past him significantly faster. "…Arceusdammit, wait up!"

"Do you think Kyogre remembers the beating we gave her back in the Stormy Sea?" Pikachu asked breathlessly.

"I really, really hope not…wait a second! Where's Manaphy?" Ash cried.

Sasha blinked. "I thought Dawn had him."

_I thought _you_ had him,_ Dawn said.

There was a long pause. "Uh-oh," Tiny said.

"Aaaaahhh! Mother, no! NOOOOOOOO!" Manaphy, who they had left sprawled out on the ice, screamed as Kyogre bore down on him with open jaws.

"MANAPHY!" Ash cried. He ran back towards the Admiral, running as fast as he could…

But it wasn't fast enough. Kyogre's jaws closed over Manaphy, ending his screams with a sickening crunch and breaking up the ice where the small blue Pokémon had lain. Satisfied, Kyogre withdrew her head, pulling herself out of the large hole in the wall and the shields surrounding the temple and leaving the undersea fortress altogether, swimming off with a flick of her tail into the deep blue yonder. Ash skidded to a halt, shock and despair written on his face. "No…Manaphy…" He sagged. "I failed him again…"

"PAPA! PAPA!" the Phiones shrieked, leaping off the platform and climbing out through the hole in the wall, diving into the water outside and swimming frantically after Kyogre.

As they left, the fissures in the walls spread until the entire room was Spinarakwebbed with cracks. Stone groaned against stone as more water started gushing in, and chunks of the ceiling began falling, causing the pirates to mill about in alarm as the debris smashed the ice and started breaking off pieces of the central platform. "Uh, Cap'n, I think we might want to get out of here!" cried Iron Gut Caruso.

"Aye, that'd probably be a good idea," Barbedo agreed as a chunk of ceiling fell towards him. He split it in half with his sword. "But not without the Sea Crown! It's what we came here for, after all! I failed to get it once, but not this time!"

"But Cap'n, how are we supposed to lift something that big?" Six-Hands McGee protested.

"And it looks like it's part of the floor, besides," Poofy-Pants Wally said.

"Then we'll just take those crystal things! They're the real treasure!" Barbedo said, reaching into the water pillar and tugging at one of the crystals.

"But if ye take out them crystals, won't that cause the temple to sink?" Fat Pete asked.

"And what d'ye think it's going to do any minute now? With all the damage Kyogre did, this place doesn't have much longer anyway! We might as well take what we can and get out while the getting's good!" Molly squawked. Seeing the logic in this, the other pirates came over to help and started pulling at the crystals as well.

"Everyone all right down here?" Briney asked as he floated down to the rest of the team.

"Yes, none of us is harmed," Sasha said.

Tiny yelped as a piece of ceiling fell nearby, punching a hole through the ice. "But we might not be if we stay here much longer…we've got to get out of here!"

"Yeah…but can we grab some of those crystals first?" Leo asked.

"LEO!" everyone else yelled at him.

"What? The pirates are taking them! Why shouldn't we get a share? We're going to be part of the crew soon anyway!" Leo pointed out.

"When we're in charge of that lot, you can have all the crystals you want," Pikachu snapped. "But let's get out of here so you'll actually live long enough to get them!"

"Hmm. Yes, I see the logic in this," Leo said.

"I'll fly you all out. Sasha and Dawn will have to ride with me, though," Briney said. "Since my psychic powers can't affect them and all."

Sasha sighed. "I suppose I don't have a choice…"

_Very well,_ Dawn said, hopping onto Briney's head.

"Hey, watch the hat!" the Metang grumbled.

"Ash, come on, let's go!" Pikachu said as everyone else clustered around Briney.

The Lucario was still staring, distraught, at the spot where Manaphy had been devoured. "I let him down. I could have saved him. I _tried_ to save him…but I couldn't. Again. What kind of wannabe Aura Guardian am I?"

"One who still has a lot to learn," Pikachu said sympathetically. "You can't save everyone, Ash."

"Why not? We're a Rescue Team. Isn't that what we're supposed to do?" Ash muttered. But he turned and joined the others, deciding to leave his moping for later.

With Sasha hanging underneath him, Dawn sitting on his head, and Lily floating beside him, Briney rose into the air, using his telekinesis to carry Ash, Pikachu, Tiny, and Leo with him. "Hey, where d'ye think ye're going?" Barbedo demanded when he saw them hovering towards the exit to the chamber. "Don't ye want any of the loot?"

"Right now, we'd rather get out of here with our lives, and if you had any sense, I'd suggest you do the same!" Pikachu said.

"And we'll take the crystals out of your share once we become your new bosses," Leo said.

Barbedo burst into laughter. "Arr, that'd be the day! Don't ye fret about ol' Barbedo or his mates, it'll take more than a collapsing temple to end this old skeleton's fun!"

"Ye head back to the ship, we'll meet ye there!" Pete called to them.

"Well, if you're sure," Ash said as they landed in the hallway leading away from the room and started running down the stairs.

"Do you think they'll be okay?" Tiny asked.

Pikachu sighed. "Probably. It'd be too much to hope that the roof would cave in and crush them so we have one less thing to worry about, wouldn't it?"

"Abyss yeah! Nothing can stop Barbedo!" Leo said.

Lily nodded. "I think he's what a human Briney might be like, only, you know, evil."

Briney snorted. "Please, like some pirate could ever measure up to me. Even as a human, I'd still outstrip him, isn't that right Ash?"

"Actually, as a human, you were kind of-" Ash started.

"_Isn't that right, Ash?"_ Briney repeated.

Ash gulped. "Uh, yes Captain. Exactly like you said."

Briney smirked. "That's what I thought."

Back in the control room, Barbedo and the other pirates managed to extract the crystals from the stone formation in the middle of the room. As they did so, the water making up the pillar stopped flowing, the room started shaking even more, and water started flowing from the cracks and shafts in the walls with even greater strength as holes tore open in the bubble shield encircling the temple, the ocean starting to flood in. "I think that's our cue to get out of here, lads," Barbedo said, tucking half a dozen crystals under either arm. "Let's go!"

Nodding, the pirates followed him out of the room, each carrying their own burden of crystals, just as the ceiling fell in and crushed the platform, shattering the pillar and causing it to crumble in pieces to the bottom of the room. The cracks in the walls grew and grew and grew until finally the walls could take no more and burst, water rushing in to claim everything within, the flood filling the temple and drowning the corruption and machinations of the Nihilators in seawater. The whole structure groaned as if sensing its end was near, a long, mournful death knell for what had once been one of the most sacred places on Earth.

The pirates and Team Aurabolt made it back to the _Golden Dream_ and boarded it as the tears in the shield grew and more and more water poured in, quickly disengaging the grappling anchors and throwing the engines in full reverse, backing the ship away from the doomed vessel as fast as they could. The hole they left in the shield as they sped away did not mend itself, and it grew wider and wider, more and more water surging in until finally the bubble gave up the Ghost-type and burst, the sea rushing in to fill the space that had been denied it. Its power gone, its protections destroyed, its master and guardians gone, its purity desecrated, Samiya, masterpiece of the People of the Water and one of the wonders of the world, finally, mercifully, died as the ocean took it back into its embrace, sinking into the depths and dragging the corpses of all the Nihilators who had died within with it.

Soon enough, many seafaring Pokémon would come to visit the decrepit hulk once more…but not to offer prayers or worship the gods of the ocean. No, they would come to feed on the dead, for sometimes the only way to really clean something is with blood.

"Well," said Caserin, who'd watched the whole thing. "Won't _this_ make quite the story to tell everyone back in Aquaris?"

…

By the time the _Golden Dream_ made it back to the surface, the sun was setting, its fading rays glinting gloriously off the shining hull of the magitech pirate ship. As the vessel rocked in the waves and returned to its default state, the corkscrew becoming a bowsprit again, the energy fields becoming masts and sails, the oars fanning out and the fans…unfolding, Polly, who had managed to break free from the ice during all the chaos, happily swam over and joined in the excitement as the crew partied around the main deck, singing and dancing and playing music to celebrate the success of their raid. "Harhar, a nice haul, don't ye think, me hearties?" Barbedo chortled as he admired his reflections in some of the crystals he had pilfered from the Sea Crown. "'Twere a fitting start to a new golden age of piracy…emphasis on the gold! I just need one more thing to make this day perfect…" He turned to face Team Aurabolt, who had been tending to their wounds off to the side. "And that's to kill ye and add ye to the crew!"

They stared at him in astonishment. "Oh, come on!" Pikachu protested. "Even after everything that just happened, you still intend to go through with that?"

"Yep," Barbedo said, drawing his sword.

"But…we're not exactly in any condition to fight right now," Ash protested. "We're tired and worn out from the long fight."

"I'm not," Briney said.

"That's because you weren't even there for most of it," Leo said.

"Hey, I did some fighting aside from that. Most of it was very one-sided," Briney said.

"Speaking of which, um…you said you finished your business with Archie. Then does that mean…?" Lily asked.

Briney glanced at Jelly-Leg Jones and Poofy-Pants Wallace, who nodded slightly. "Aye. He's finished. My vengeance…the quest for justice that has dominated me for the last decade…is finally at an end."

"Good, which means ye have no lingering obligations keeping ye from joining me crew!" Barbedo said, pleased.

"Captain, look, my point is…we're all rather tired. Er, _most_ of us are, anyway," Ash said, before Briney could interrupt. "Is now really the best time for this? Wouldn't you rather wait until we'd rested and fully recovered so we could fight you with all your strength? You know, so that your victory—_if_ you defeat us—will be that much more satisfying?"

Barbedo stared at him for a long moment before bursting into laughter, along with the rest of the crew. "Lad, do I look like the kind of man who believes in fair play?" the captain chortled. "I'd fight ye even if ye were on yer deathbed recovering from a bad case of syphilis, and I'll certainly fight ye all now, no matter _how_ tired ye are!"

"Oh…" Ash said, his hopes sinking.

"Hold on now," Leo said, a thought coming to him. "What about an alternative?"

Barbedo frowned. "What do ye mean?"

"I'm pretty sure the Pirate Code says that we can have a different form of competition as a substitute for a battle to the death to determine captaincy of the _Golden Dream,_" Leo said.

"No it doesn't," Barbedo said.

"Yes it does," Briney said, catching onto Leo's plan.

Barbedo blinked. "It does?"

"Sure. You've been gone a long time. The rules have changed a bit while you were away," Briney said.

"Oh," Barbedo said. He frowned. "How do I know ye aren't lying?"

"If I was, that would just make me a good pirate, wouldn't it?" Briney said with a straight face.

"Arr, that it would," Barbedo admitted. "Hmm…I don't know. The Code's really more a set of guidelines than strict rules…"

"Yeah, but you don't want the modern pirates laughing at you behind your back and saying you're too stodgy and stuck in the past to adapt to change, now would you?" Pikachu asked.

"What? If they say that, I'll kill them!" Barbedo snarled.

"Which will only reinforce their point," Ash pointed out mildly.

"…D'arrgh, I suppose it would," Barbedo said reluctantly. "Well…let's hear yer alternative. I'm still itching for a fight, but if yer substitute's good enough I guess I could give it a go."

"A drinking contest!" Leo said.

Barbedo looked thoughtful. "A drinking contest, eh? I like the sound of that…it's been a while since I've been in one, and I have yet to be beaten, especially since me undead form gives me greater constitution than I ever had in life! Hmm, but which of ye will I be drinking against? Two of ye are Steel-types, which automatically disqualifies ye since everyone knows ye have indestructible livers and can't get drunk."

"We can't?" Ash asked in surprise.

"No," Briney said. "We're immune to poison, and alcohol can be considered a kind of poison."

"If you can't get drunk, then why do you drink so much?" Pikachu asked.

"Because I like the taste of it, obviously," Briney said.

"The Squirtle looks like a lightweight, so he's out too…" Barbedo murmured.

"Hey, I am not a lightweight!" Leo protested.

"Leo, you got roaring drunk after drinking a single coconutful of a completely non-alcoholic fruit beverage after Lily ran off," Pikachu said.

"Oh, right…er, yeah, never mind…" Leo said embarrassedly.

"You did? You never mentioned that!" Lily said in alarm.

"It didn't seem like something you needed to hear," Leo said. "And I got better."

"It was kind of sad," Tiny said. "He was singing lots of weird songs about how he missed you."

"You did? Oh Leo, I'm so sorry!" Lily said. "I had no idea I hurt you that much…"

"Hey, it's okay," Leo assured her. "I'm fine now, and we're together, so why dwell too much on something unpleasant like that, right?"

"Well, I suppose…" Lily said uncertainly.

"And I can't drink against the witch, since _everyone_ knows what happens when mages get drunk," Barbedo continued.

"I don't," Lily said. "What happens?"

The pirates shuddered. "_Very_ weird things," Molly said.

"Things the likes of which mortals were not meant to lay eyes on," Fat Pete agreed.

"But you aren't mortals," Sasha pointed out.

"Doesn't mean we liked seeing it any better," Six-Hands McGee said.

"Oh…I suppose that is why Mother never drank anything but water. And the blood of the innocent," Lily commented.

"She drinks blood? What, is she a vampire now?" Ash asked.

"No, she imbibes it because she believes it makes her more beautiful. She tried bathing in it like some of the other evil witches do, but she always had trouble getting the stains out so just resorted to drinking a glass every now and then," Lily said.

"If it's supposed to make her more attractive, it's not working," Briney said flatly.

"I dunno, she might be kinda good-looking…if she weren't an ice-cold evil bitch!" Leo said.

"Anyway, it's probably for the best that she doesn't touch alcohol…she'd be a mean drunk," Pikachu commented.

Lily shuddered at the thought. "And she's bad enough sober…"

"So, I guess that leaves the samurai, the ninja, and the Absol," Barbedo finished. "I don't know about the Disaster-bringer, but I've heard samurais and ninjas can hold their liquor. Might make for a good match-up."

"Um, actually, I'm only slightly more tolerant than Leo," Pikachu said. "It's one of the few things about me my Dad's disappointed in. Well, that and my inflexibility."

_I will face Barbedo in a drinking game if I must,_ Dawn said. _I can hold my own._

"I don't believe I've ever had alcohol, though I suppose I could give it a shot," Sasha said.

"Then the ninja it is!" Barbedo declared.

"Wait, what about me?" Tiny spoke up.

Barbedo frowned. "Huh? What about you, small fry? Ye're just a kid. Ye're a little too young to be drinking, aren't ye?"

Ash sighed. "We've tried telling him that, but he won't stop…"

"If I were you, Captain, I'd take Tiny here on in a drink-off," Leo said slyly, for of course this had been his plan all along. "He could probably outdrink any of us here, maybe even _Briney, _hands-down. He even beat a few of your pirates earlier!"

"What, him? That's ridiculous!" Barbedo scoffed.

"Er, actually, Cap'n…" Molly started hesitantly.

"He's tougher than he looks," Pete said. "He downed an _entire _keg of Grog Blaster, all by his lonesome! And ten steins of the regular stuff before that!"

Barbedo did a double-take. "What, seriously? That little thing?"

"Aye, he outdrank all of us," another pirate said shamefully.

"Kids these days…what can ye do?" another said with a wistful shake of the head.

"That's what I'd like to know," Ash said with a sigh.

Barbedo revised his opinions of Tiny. "Hmm…is this true, little one? Can ye really handle that much of the bad stuff without passing out, throwing up, or having your liver chew a hole in your gut to escape to freedom?"

"Yes," Tiny said. "And more besides, if you've got any."

"Hmm…" Barbedo rubbed his chin in thought, causing the coins of his beard to clink against each other. "All right, consider my curiosity piqued. The last person I've ever met capable of handling that much grog was, well, me. Let's see just how much ye can take, kiddo. Caruso, bring up a few kegs of my private blend! We've got ourselves a drink-off!" The pirates cheered as the undead Aggron saluted and headed belowdecks.

"Heheh, we've got this in the bag!" Leo said gleefully. "Barbedo may be an undead pirate, but I doubt his tolerance is anywhere near as high as Tiny's!"

"Leo, you realize we're basically forcing an underage minor to imbibe an incredibly unhealthy amount of an incredibly unhealthy beverage, right?" Pikachu said.

"Yeah, but Tiny's cool with it, aren't you Tiny?" Leo asked.

"I am if Daddy is," Tiny said, glancing at Ash.

Ash sighed. "I'm _not_ fine with it…but I find myself agreeing with Leo. If anyone can outdrink Barbedo, it's probably you."

_I could do it! _Dawn insisted. _I would not allow a pirate to get the better of me in anything, even a sport as undignified as this!_

"You might be able to outdrink a pirate, but could you outdrink _Tiny?_" Briney asked.

…_Well…no, I suppose not…_ Dawn admitted reluctantly.

"Which is why he's going to be doing this, rather than anyone else," Briney said. "Since he has the best chance of winning."

"Yeah…but couldn't we have challenged Barbedo to something less unhealthy to a growing boy?" Ash complained. "Like arm-wrestling. Or dice. Or rock-paper-scissors."

"We could have, but as a bigshot pirate captain, I figured Barbedo'd be more interested in drinking than any of that stuff, since it's one of a pirate's favorite things to do," Leo said.

"Leo, that's an extremely broad generalization and kind of blatant stereotyping," Pikachu said.

"It's also true," Leo said.

"Aye, it is, I love drinking," Barbedo said.

"Most of us do," Fat Pete agreed. Most of the other pirates nodded. Pikachu sighed.

A few minutes later, Iron Gut Caruso returned with several casks of alcohol while a table and two seats were fetched for Barbedo and Tiny. All the furniture literally grew from the deck, gold-colored panels unfolding and extending and reshaping themselves to create comfortable places for the two competitors to sit at. A spigot was driven into one of the casks, and the tap opened to pour a rather vile-smelling black brew into a pair of mugs which were then quickly rushed over to the table and handed to Tiny and Barbedo before the contents could eat through the bottoms and spill out on the floor and everyone's bones. Without preamble, Tiny and Barbedo grabbed the mugs, downed them in one gulp, slammed them back onto the table, belched, wiped their mouths, and extended their hands for the next mug. "MORE!" they shouted.

And more they received. As the pirates looked on in amazement, and Team Aurabolt with hope, Tiny and Barbedo drained first one cask, then a second, and a third, without suffering any noticeable side effects other than their belches getting louder and a slight redness coming to Tiny's cheeks. They drank, and kept drinking, long after the sun went down and the Moon rose up and the stars came out. The whole ship, which had initially been loud with cheers from one faction or another, shouting encouragements to the Captain or to Tiny, eventually fell silent, not wanting to break the concentration of the two competitors. Even Polly was silent, watching in disbelief at the little Larvitar who was managing to keep up with his master.

As Tiny and Barbedo kept drinking, new mugs had to constantly be rushed to the table, since the ones they were using quickly became useless due to the unbelievably volatile liquor disintegrating their innards and causing huge holes to appear in their undersides. The pile of discarded mugs was now at least as twice as high as Barbedo himself, looming over the two as they kept drinking and drinking and drinking. Eventually, they ran out of mugs and cups and jars and bowls and anything else they could use to carry liquid in, so the casks were moved over to the table so Tiny and Barbedo could drink straight from the tap. The pile of empty and discarded casks got fairly large as well, and still the two showed no signs of slowing down.

"How is this possible?" Ash whispered, finally breaking the silence. He flinched, his quiet words sounding so loud in the absence of ambient noise it was somewhat unsettling. "How can Tiny possibly handle this much without dying?"

"Even though I'm immune to poison, I'm not sure I could ever take this much," Briney agreed in wonder. "Not in one sitting, anyway."

"Not even my shades seem to know where he's putting it all!" said an astounded Leo. "By all rights, his bladder should have filled to bursting hours ago…but he isn't even crossing his legs! How is he holding it all in?"

"It is said that Larvitar are capable of eating entire mountains just before they are ready to evolve," Sasha commented. "Perhaps this means Tiny is ready to become a Pupitar?"

"But…mountains and alcohol are very different things!" Ash protested.

"There's a small mountain of empty mugs over there, and another of casks," Lily pointed out. "Do you suppose it might count anyway?"

Pikachu sighed. "As much as I wish it didn't, it probably does…"

Ash sweatdropped. "I never thought I'd ever see an evolution come about this way."

"I heard that this one Corphish once evolved by-" Leo started.

Pikachu sighed. "Yes, we know. He lives in our village."

"…Whoa, really?" Leo said in amazement. "Dude, he's kind of a celebrity on the Internet!"

"Why? What does he do?" Lily asked. "And what's so odd about his evolution?"

There was a long, awkward pause. "He…um…evolved by…" Ash started slowly.

"Eating a lot," Pikachu said quickly.

"That's _one_ way of putting it…" Leo murmured.

"Oh," Lily said. "I suppose that is somewhat odd."

"You have no idea," Briney said flatly. "Nor do you want to."

"I don't?" Lily asked.

"No, you don't," Briney said.

"Okay," Lily said. "But what does he do that makes him famous on the Internet?"

"He, ah, posts videos of himself," Leo said, turning very red.

"What kinds of videos?" Lily asked.

"Very…um…interesting and educational ones," Leo said.

"Oh. Could you show me one sometime, then? I like learning things," Lily said.

Leo turned even redder, and Ash and Pikachu started choking as they tried not to laugh. Briney chuckled, Sasha rolled her eyes, and Dawn just tilted her head in puzzlement. "Um…we'll see…" Leo squeaked. "Let's talk about it later, okay?"

"Okay," Lily said.

They went back to watching the drinking contest…and they started noticing something that worried them. Tiny was taking a fraction of a second longer to finish his rounds than Barbedo was, and he was finally beginning to show signs that all this drinking was having an effect on him. His eyes were becoming glazed and unfocused, his cheeks were turning redder and redder, and he was starting to wobble a little dazedly on his seat. Barbedo, on the other hand, looked as steady as ever, eyes glowing brighter and grin growing wider with each successive drink, the liquor pouring down his mouth and going…somewhere, but not into his rib cage, like one might expect. (Where _did_ the things the pirates ate and drank go, anyway?) Recognizing the signs that Tiny was starting to fade just as much as his teammates were, Barbedo started laying on the pressure, drinking faster and longer gulps and forcing Tiny to struggle to keep up. The heroes began to exchange worried looks. Had this been a mistake? Had they put too much of their hopes on the youngest member of their party? Was there a chance that, perhaps, his tolerance limits weren't quite so high as they had believed?

Their fears peaked when Tiny's eyelids drooped down and his wobbling increased. It looked like he was going to drop at any second. Barbedo paused in finishing his latest drink to laugh. "Ha! Looks like I'm going to win after all, lad! While I must admit, ye gave me quite the run for me money, in the end, _nobody_ can beat Barbedo, especially a little 'un fresh from the egg still wet behind the…behind the…behind the…" He blinked and swatted feebly at the air. "What…what're all those Donphan doin' around my head? Somebody…somebody get rid of them…they're so…_loud…_"

His eyes rolled back in his head and he fell face forward, hitting the table and sliding off to land sprawled out on the ground. Team Aurabolt and the pirates stared incredulously. Polly screeched in alarm. "Aha," Tiny said giddily. "I've won." He hiccupped, and then toppled backwards off his seat, hitting the ground as well.

"Tiny!" Ash cried, rushing over to the Larvitar with the rest of the team.

"Uhhh…Daddy, did I do okay?" Tiny asked Pikachu.

"I'm Pikachu, and yes, you did," Pikachu assured him.

"Dude, that was one of the sickest things I've ever seen! You rock!" Leo gushed.

"'Sick' is probably the right term to use for that…" Lily muttered.

"Well, I'll certainly never drink alcohol now, if this is what comes of it," Sasha commented.

_You have honored us all,_ Dawn said.

"Good show, lad! I don't think even I could have done something like that!" Briney said. "Well, okay, maybe I could have, but that doesn't make what you did any less impressive!"

"And while I'm immensely proud of you, I never want you to touch a drop of alcohol again! Do you hear me?" Ash demanded.

"'Kay," Tiny said. He hiccupped, and his eyes crossed. "I'm gonna go to sleep now." He passed out. His body started glowing brightly and transformed, growing to Ash's height as he became encased in a thick gray-blue shell with many spikes and eyeholes with triangular holes like eyebrows growing over them. The eyes were currently closed in sleep as sonorous snores echoed from within the shell.

"Tiny…" Ash whispered.

_He has become a Pupitar,_ Dawn noted.

"Hmm," Sasha said. "Looks like I was right. He _was_ evolving, after all."

"From drinking? Oy…" Pikachu groaned.

"Heheh, not so tiny anymore, is he? Aww, they grow up so fast, don't they?" Briney commented.

"They do indeed," Lily said, frowning. "But…how is he supposed to move or attack like that?"

"Oh, that's easy; Pupitars can float by compressing and forcefully ejecting gas from inside their shells to propel themselves through the air like a jet," Leo said.

Pikachu stiffened. "Leo, if you make so much as _one_ fart joke, I swear I will cut your head off."

Leo blinked. "Huh? I wasn't thinking of any fart jokes…until _now,_ anyway." Pikachu sighed.

"Tiny…sleep well," Ash said. "You've earned it."

"I…I don't believe it…" Molly whispered, staring at Barbedo. "The Cap'n…lost?"

"The Cap'ns dead! The Cap'ns dead!" Jelly-Leg Jones screamed. "They killed the Cap'n!"

"…Jones, ye idiot, he's already dead! We all are!" Caruso snapped.

"Oh, right," Jones said Mareepishly. "Well, um…is he deader than usual?"

McGee cautiously approached and prodded Barbedo with a tail. He jumped back in fright when Barbedo stirred and muttered, "Lousy stinking…Linoone…think you're so great because you can run in straight lines for…ages…well, I'll show…you…zzzzzz…" He subsided back to sleep. The pirates sighed in relief.

"Good, he's alive…er, undead…oh, ye know what I mean," Molly said.

"However, he ain't the Cap'n anymore," Fat Pete said. Somewhat reluctantly, he took off Barbedo's hat and carried it to Team Aurabolt. "According to the Pirate Code, for defeating Barbedo, the one called 'Tiny' is now the Cap'n."

"But since he's too young and inexperienced for that responsibility, I shall graciously serve as Captain in his place," Briney said before anyone could interject, swiping the hat from Pete's hands and putting it on. "Well, what do you think, lads? How do I look?"

"Like a pirate," Pikachu said.

"Which is what you are now," Ash said.

"As are the rest of us! Sweet!" Leo said, putting his Leonardo the Mad Blogger costume back on. "Arrrrrgh! Hey, does this mean I get some of those crystals from the Sea Crown?"

"Eh, knock yourself out," Briney said.

"Yattaaaaargh!" Leo cheered, running over to the crystals. The others sweatdropped.

"Er, anyway…what be yer orders, Cap'n?" Fat Pete asked awkwardly.

"And what be ye wanting us to do with Cap'n…er, I mean…Barbedo?" Caruso asked, indicating the snoozing golden skeleton.

"Put him in the brig to rest up until we can ascertain whether or not he'll go along with the power shift quietly or try to mutiny," Briney commanded. Some of the pirates carefully picked up the snoring Barbedo and carried him belowdecks. Polly watched unhappily, but did not interfere. "Next, I'm renaming this ship the _Peeko XII._"

"What's wrong with _Golden Dream?_" Lily asked.

"Nothing, but if I'm the captain this ship can't be called anything else but _Peeko,_" Briney said, causing them to sweatdrop. "Anyway, now we need to figure out what our next heading is."

"What, ye want to set out already?" Pete protested.

"We were just going to party!" Molly agreed.

"We can party tonight," Briney acknowledged. "I suppose we've earned it, after all, after the day we've had. But we'll be shipping out in the morning, so we'll need to know where we're heading next, and this little beauty will point us in the right direction." He pulled out the blue Star Badge, glowing softly in the moonlight.

"Good idea," Pikachu said, taking out the map. "Ash, you want to head inside?"

"Huh? Why?" Ash asked.

"So you won't flip out and have some freaky flashback?" Leo said as he came back over, carrying an armload of crystals.

"Oh, right," Ash said. "Hold on, don't do anything until I'm inside." He ran down the stairs belowdecks, disappearing from view. _"Okay, go ahead!"_ he told them over their badge communicators several seconds later, when he was safely out of range.

Pikachu opened up the map case and unfurled the map, holding it up to the Star Badge in Briney's claws. As the pirates and the others watched in wonder, the jewel started glowing brighter and brighter, its azure rays alighting on the map and causing a new flashing indicator to appear on its surface, the previous marker over Zero Isle fading away as the map revealed the location of the next Star Badge. "Ooooh," the pirates said.

"A magical treasure map? Neat!" Wallace said.

"I can't see anything on it, though…" McGee complained.

"It can only be read by the pure of heart," Pikachu said, turning over the map to look at it once the light from the badge faded.

"Ah, that'd explain it, then," McGee said.

"So what's our next stop?" Leo asked as he and everyone else crowded around Pikachu, who was comparing the magical map to a more modern one of the continent.

"A place called…Fichina, located in the Shimmering Desert," Pikachu said.

Almost everyone gasped. "Fichina?" Lily cried.

"Whuh-oh. They don't like us over there…" Pete murmured.

"Whoa, cool, I've always wanted to go there!" Leo said excitedly, nearly dropping his crystals.

"Why? What is Fichina?" Sasha asked.

"Fichina is a mystical country located in the middle of the hostile and barren Shimmering Desert, a country where magic flows as freely as water due to a convergence of multiple ley lines or something like that. The intense concentration of magical power has allowed life to blossom in the wasteland in great multitudes and create a near-paradisiacal land where everyone is born with magic and has access to powers greater than most other Pokémon could ever dream of. Some of the finest magical academies in the world started there, as did many of our planet's greatest magical practitioners…" Lily hesitated. "Including…my mother…"

"I'm guessing they're not particularly fond of her over there…" Pikachu said.

Lily shook her head. "She was exiled for murdering her entire family. She has desired to return and wreak her vengeance ever since." She sighed unhappily. "And if she is not allowed there…what will they think of me, her daughter?"

_You may be Bellum's daughter, but you're not guilty of her sins_, Dawn said.

"No, I'm guilty of my own," Lily said bitterly.

"I'm sure they'll overlook that in the face of your clear repentance and inner goodness," Leo assured her.

"And if they don't, we'll make them," Briney said, cracking his knuckles.

"Well, ah, I'm afraid ye'll have to do that without us," Molly said awkwardly.

"Yeah, they don't exactly like us over in Fichina…" Pete said Mareepishly.

Pikachu frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Back in the day, we tried raiding it in the _Golden Dream, _figuring its power would be enough to overwhelm all its magical defenses and allow us to steal their greatest treasures," Molly said.

"We were wrong," Pete said. "Very, _very_ wrong. They sent us running with our tails between our legs and a promise to destroy us permanently if we ever got near them again."

The heroes exchanged surprised looks. If a ship as powerful as this had been unable to attack Fichina… "We'd better do our best not to piss them off, then," Pikachu murmured.

"Wait, if they were _that_ powerful, then why didn't they help the Arceans destroy you guys, rather than just sealing you away?" Leo asked.

"Fichina's pretty…how do I put this…uninterested in anything that happens beyond their borders," Pete said. "So they didn't really care that we were out pillaging and looting and all, so long as we didn't do it near their shores."

Lily nodded in agreement. "Since everyone there is magic, they don't really think or care much about those who lack magic or what happens to them, although they're willing to let tourists and the like visit for the sake of their economy. It's an attitude Mother seems to share, though I've heard there's a movement growing that's trying to change that perception towards outsiders."

"I hope they will not have any problems with us poking around and taking one of their treasures, then…" Sasha murmured.

"Regardless, we can't help you get what ye're looking for. We can't go anywhere within a hundred miles of the place without them picking us up and activating their anti-undead pirate defenses," Molly said apologetically. "It's been a while since we were last in the neighborhood, true, but I'm sure they're still running, just in case…especially once news gets out that we escaped from Zero Isle."

"It would probably be best if you didn't take us there anyway, considering this ship's rather conspicuous…and we don't want the Nihilators to know where the badge is," Briney said.

"They've been planning to attack Fichina for a while now, I think, but the defenses there are too strong," Lily said. "Still, if they knew the badge was there…"

"They'd spare no expense trying to crack the place open," Pikachu finished.

_Which means we must find another way to get there,_ Dawn agreed. _Without alerting our foes._

"Well, I'm sure the Professor or Tracey will have some ideas about that…" Pikachu said.

"But what're we supposed to do while ye lot are off gallivanting on an adventure without us?" Molly complained.

"Aye, we had so much fun on this last jaunt, we're kind of reluctant to go back to doing nothing again," Pete agreed.

Pikachu frowned. "Didn't you guys say you were happy being retired?"

"We were," Molly said.

"Until we got a taste of action," Pete said. "We'd forgotten how much _fun_ it is to be pirates…"

"Well, if it's action you're after, I may have an idea or two for what you lot can do while we're away in Fichina…" Briney said. "That'll have to wait until we get to Treasure Town, though."

"So Treasure Town is our next stop, then?" Caruso said.

Briney nodded. "Until we figure out how to get to Fichina, yes."

"It'll be good to see the old place…" McGee commented.

"How much has it changed in the last two thousand years?" Wallace asked.

"It's gotten worse," Leo said.

"Phew! That's something I've got to see for meself," Jones said.

"Is it really a good idea for you guys to go traipsing about Treasure Town? It's sort of completely controlled by the Nihilators," Pikachu said.

"P'shaw, they've seen weirder things than us over the years," Molly said dismissively.

"And besides, we can handle those Nihilators if we run into them," Pete said.

"That may be, but you're kind of…conspicuous," Pikachu said.

"Conspicuous is good, especially for what I have planned…" Briney said ominously.

"And that would be…?" Pikachu prompted.

"I'll tell you once we get back to town," Briney said.

"And until then, we can paaaaarrr-tyyyyyyyy!" Fat Pete whooped. The other pirates cheered, and the carousing that had been going on before the drinking contest resumed.

"They sure are having a good time, aren't they?" Sasha murmured.

"We should join them. I mean, we got another Star Badge and beat up a ton of Nihilators. That's worth celebrating, isn't it?" Leo asked.

"Maybe, but I don't know if Ash feels that way, considering who our enemy was…and how he couldn't save him…" Pikachu said.

_Speaking of Ash, should we not let him know it's safe to come back up?_ Dawn suggested.

Pikachu nodded. "Right, good idea." He tapped his badge. "Ash, this is Pikachu. We're all done, it's safe to come up." There was no response. Pikachu frowned and tapped his badge again. "Ash? This is Pikachu, respond." There was no response.

"Whuh-oh," Leo said.

"Briney is he…" Lily asked anxiously.

Briney nodded sadly as he withdrew partway from Ash's mind. "He's having another flashback. We failed. It looks like the Star's power can get to him, no matter where he is."

"Oh no…" Lily whispered.

Sasha sighed and shook his head. "I should not be surprised. After all…no matter how far you run from your past, it will catch up to you sooner or later…"

Pikachu groaned. "I wonder how bad this flashback will be?"

"Do you think maybe he goes berserk and kills another god?" Leo asked hopefully. The others stared at him. "What? It's horrifying, yeah, but still utterly badass!" They sweatdropped.

"I can share it with you all," Briney offered. Sasha and Dawn frowned at him. "Well, all of you who aren't Dark-types, anyway."

"My head still hurts from the last time you did that. I think I'd rather wait to hear it from his own mouth," Pikachu said.

"And if he won't tell you, _then_ I'll show you all," Briney said a little too gleefully. He had way too much fun poking around in people's heads.

_Whatever he is seeing…I hope it will not be as bad as the last one,_ Dawn said. _And that his already overburdened conscience will not have yet another thing to feel guilty about._ The others nodded solemnly, all of them worried about the same thing.

What was Ash dreaming, at that moment? And what new ugly secrets of his past would this latest glimpse of memory bring to light?

…

_Please…don't die…_

_I'm so sorry…_

The thick metal door sealed shut behind them as Ash and Misty entered the underground bunker, followed by Lord Null. Everything was clean, white, and sterile. All the furniture and machinery was equally white and colorless, with fluorescent bulbs overhead casting a bright indifferent light over everything. THIS SHALL BE YOUR HOME FOR THE NEXT WHILE, Null said.

"Home? It looks like a prison…" Misty whispered.

A PRISON IT MIGHT BE, BUT ONE INTENDED TO KEEP YOU SAFE FROM WHAT IS GOING ON OUTSIDE, Null said. UNTIL MY WORK IS COMPLETE, THE SURFACE OF YOUR WORLD WILL BE COMPLETELY INHOSPITABLE TO LIFE. THIS BUNKER WILL BE THE ONLY PLACE ON EARTH WHERE YOU CAN RIDE OUT THE STORM.

"And when it's over?" Misty asked skeptically.

WHEN IT IS OVER, YOU MAY LEAVE IN PEACE, Null said.

"To where? Will there even be anything left?" Misty snapped.

THE WORLD SHALL BE MADE ANEW. YOU MAY GO WHERE YOU WISH, AND DO AS YOU PLEASE…BUT ONLY ONCE I AM FINISHED. UNTIL THEN, YOU MUST STAY HERE, WHERE IT IS SAFE, Null said.

"And what of our Pokémon? You said you would give them back to us!" Misty said.

I WILL, AS SOON AS I AM FINISHED WITH THEM. I PROMISE YOU, THEY SHALL BE RETURNED TO YOU BEFORE MY WORK OUTSIDE IS COMPLETE, Null said.

Misty was not reassured. "And how long will that take?"

Null shrugged. AS LONG AS IS NECESSARY. UNTIL THEN, YOU MUST BE PATIENT, AND WAIT HERE. AND WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT LEAVE THIS BUNKER. I CANNOT GUARANTEE YOUR SURVIVAL SHOULD YOU MANAGE TO ESCAPE.

"Gee, thanks," Misty grumbled.

YOU ARE MOST WELCOME. THIS SHELTER WILL PROVIDE YOU WITH EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO SURVIVE UNTIL I RETURN FOR YOU. FOOD, WATER, ENTERTAINMENT… Null said.

"It won't give us our friends back," Misty said.

…NO, IT WILL NOT, Null admitted. BUT…I WILL SEE WHAT I CAN DO ON THAT FRONT. IN THE MEANTIME, WAIT HERE. I WILL CHECK ON YOU PERIODICALLY. AND… He paused, and then glanced at Ash, who was sitting at a nearby table, a blank look on his face. …TAKE CARE OF ASH. HE IS NOT ENTIRELY…STABLE AT THE MOMENT.

"That's an understatement," Misty said flatly.

I REGRET WHAT MY ACTIONS HAVE DONE TO HIM. IT WAS NOT MY INTENTION THAT HE BECOME…LIKE THIS. BUT HE MAY TURN OUT WORSE IF HE IS NOT WATCHED CAREFULLY. THAT IS YOUR TASK. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES MUST HE EVER TRANSFORM INTO THAT BEAST YOU SAW BEFORE AGAIN. DO YOU UNDERSTAND? Null asked.

"I do. But…do you really think I can keep that from happening?" Misty asked.

Null nodded. I DO. HE LOVES YOU…AND SO LONG AS HE STILL LOVES, THERE MAY YET BE HOPE FOR HIM…AND, PERHAPS, FOR ME.

Misty blinked. "Huh? What's that supposed to mean?"

…PERHAPS I WILL TELL YOU ONE DAY. OR PERHAPS NOT, Null said cryptically. I MUST GO NOW. DO NOT TRY TO FOLLOW ME. AND ASH? I AM SORRY. There was no response from the boy at the table. With a sigh, Lord Null turned towards the exit. The door automatically opened for him, allowing passage. Before Misty could even think about going after him, it slammed shut again, several locks slamming into place and force fields shimmering to life to keep it securely sealed.

"I guess that's it, then," Misty muttered, turning to take in their new, rather unwelcoming-looking home. "We're stuck here." Ash didn't say anything. Misty crossed the floor to the table and crouched down beside him. "Ash? He's gone. It's just you and me now. You can talk to me. How are you feeling?"

"…kill…" Ash whispered.

Misty's heart skipped a beat. "What?"

"I'm going…I'm going to kill him. I'm going to kill Null!" Ash shouted, his eyes flashing white as a black Aura blazed to life around him, blasting the table away and knocking Misty back.

Misty scrambled to her feet, looking at Ash in alarm as the room started rattling. Was this what Lord Null had been worried about? Was that _thing_ from before about to make a reappearance? "Ash, cut it out!" she shouted. Ash didn't hear her, gritting his teeth and clenching his fists as his Aura grew darker. "Ash! Ash! ASH!" Misty lunged forward and wrapped her arms around him, not caring at how sick and cold she felt when the black flames made contact with her flesh.

_He clutched her dead body to his chest, sobbing_

Ash stiffened. "M-Misty?"

"Ash, stop it! Don't you realize what you're doing? Do you want to turn into that thing again?" Misty cried, refusing to let the roiling Aura knock her away from Ash.

"But…but Null…I have to-" Ash started.

"I want Null to die as badly as you, Ash," Misty said. "But is turning into a monster the right way to do it? Don't you remember what happened the last time you got like this? Don't you remember what you _did?_"

Ash flinched as the memories of the grisly way he had massacred Zapdos, Moltres, Articuno, Darkrai and Cresselia ran through his head. "Yes…yes, I…I remember…"

"And do you want that to happen again?" she asked quietly.

"…No. No, I don't. But…" Ash's form shook as his Aura died down. "Misty…Misty, they're…they're gone. They're all gone…"

Misty pulled Ash closer to her, pressing him to her chest and allowing him to cry on her shoulder. "I know, Ash. I know. I miss them too."

_refusing to believe her life had been snuffed out as easily as a candle_

"It's my fault…it…it's all my fault," Ash sobbed.

"No, Ash. If anyone's at fault, it's Lord Null," Misty insisted. "And we'll find a way to get back at him someday, I promise. Just…not like this, okay? Because…because I can't stand to see you like that again. The way you acted, the way you killed them, the way you…you looked at me like you didn't even know who I was…"

"I…I don't think I did," Ash whispered, a horrified look coming to his face. "Misty, I…I didn't recognize you. Or if I did recognize you, I didn't care. I think…I think I might have _killed _you if Null hadn't-"

"Ash Ketchum, I don't believe that for one second, and neither should you!" Misty snapped. "I _know_ you. I know you better than anyone in the entire world, living or dead. I know your heart. I know the way you think and feel. And I know that there's no way, in this world or any other, that you would _ever_ hurt me!"

_even as her blood soaked into his clothes_

Ash's eyes widened and he stared at her incredulously. "Misty, I…thank you. Thank you for believing in me."

Misty smiled at him. "Of course I would, Ash. I love you. I've always loved you and I always _will_ love you. Even if you became a monster, even if you destroyed the world, I would still stay by your side. Even if everyone else gave up on you…I _never_ would."

"…Thank you," Ash said, eyes brimming. "That…that means everything to me. _You_ mean everything to me, Misty. If I were to lose you, after everything, I…I don't know what I'd do…"

_and stained his hands and face._

"Which is why you have nothing to worry about," Misty said with a warm smile. "I'll always be here. We'll find a way to stop Null, get back our Pokémon and our friends, save the world and make everything better again, just like we always have before, right?"

Ash smiled faintly, daring to hope again. "Y-yeah…right…"

She clutched his hand tightly. "Just remember, Ash…as long as you and I are together, there's _nothing _we can't do!" She kissed him deeply.

_Please…don't die…_

_I'm so sorry…_

Meanwhile, in the ruins of Pokétropolis…

All was still and silent. Not a single thing moved or breathed in what had once been the biggest and most populous city on Earth. Not a single building remained standing. Not a single monument or skyscraper was intact. Every street was lined with corpses, and fires burned everywhere, consuming the forms of the dead and the mutilated bodies of the legendary Pokémon who had failed in their duty to defend the planet.

In the remains of the Supreme Stadium, some rubble shifted and fell to the side as Giovanni clawed his way out from beneath it, gasping for air. He lay panting on the ground for several seconds to catch his breath, staring out at the great necropolis surrounding them. "Well," he said. "That was unpleasant."

Jessie groaned as she pulled herself up after the Boss. "Tell me about it…I thought we'd be stuck down there so long we'd eat each other…"

"Well, at least those immortality pills you gave us worked," James commented as he climbed out behind Jessie. "We managed to survive Lord Null's initial attack _and_ Annihilation destroying the entire city, so Team Rocket came out on top in the end!" He blanched when he saw the complete and total devastation all around. "Though…there's not much left for us to be on top of…"

"Eh, dat's nothing to worry about! We're Team Rocket! We'll find a way to survive, somehow! I mean, nothing's ever been able to keep us down permanently so far, right? We'll figure a way out of dis mess, one way or anodder!" Meowth said confidently as he joined them, followed by the other Rocket Pokémon. "Uh, dere's just one ting I don't understand…"

"What's that?" James asked.

"Why are you guys Pokémon?" Meowth asked.

"Huh? What are you…" Jessie turned to look at the others and froze. "Talking…about…"

The Rockets stared at each other for a long, long moment. Jessie was now a Dustox, James was now a Mime Jr., and Giovanni was a Persian. Jessie and James started screaming, while Giovanni took it in stride. "Huh," he said. "It would appear that the unexpected side effects I was warned about are even more unexpected than I…expected…"

…

Ash's eyes opened to find the rest of Team Aurabolt standing over him with concerned looks on their faces. "It didn't work," he said unhappily as they helped him to his feet.

"Yeah, we noticed," Leo said.

"How bad was it?" Lily asked anxiously.

"Not as bad as the last one," Briney reported. "Although…something seemed a bit…off…"

"What did you see this time, Ash?" Pikachu asked.

Ash told them, seeing no reason to try and keep secrets, especially since Briney could just pry them out of his skull if he felt like it. "And that's it," he finished.

"Awww, that's all?" Leo complained. "I was hoping you were going to do something cool."

"Leo, in the last flashback I murdered five gods!" Ash snapped.

"Exactly! I was hoping you'd kill some more," Leo said, causing Ash to facefault. "Not that that conversation you had with Misty wasn't interesting, but…it seemed a little…ominous…"

Sasha nodded in agreement. "I got the same sense of foreboding, somehow."

"What I find more interesting is that Giovanni and those weirdoes we met back in Mt. Battle might actually be transformed humans who lived through the end of the world, which I never suspected, and don't think even Leo did," Pikachu commented.

"I know, I'm shocked too," Leo said.

"Won't everyone back home be interested to hear that…" Ash agreed.

"Looks like you aren't the only ex-human who remembers your past anymore, Ash," Briney said. "Assuming that lot does, and I don't see why they wouldn't. Well, except for the idiots, considering they're, well, idiots."

"There is one thing I don't understand," said the confused Lily. "How could you have remembered seeing those 'Rockets' surviving the genocide if you weren't there to see it?"

"…I have no idea," Ash admitted.

"Oh, don't fret over it, it's one of those things you shouldn't think too hard about," Leo said.

"That just makes me think even _harder_ about it…" Pikachu complained.

"Anyway, other than that weird revelation about Giovanni—and now I wonder just how long he's been planning whatever he's up to, if he's really been around _that_ long—we didn't learn anything else informative about what happened back then," Ash said in disappointment. He frowned, realizing they were missing one teammate. "Hey, where's Tiny?"

_The pirates are using him as a piñata,_ Dawn said.

Ash gasped. "What?"

"Don't worry, his shell's too hard for them to break through, he'll be fine," Briney said.

"Anyway, while you were out cold, we learned where the next Star Badge is," Pikachu said.

Lily nodded. "The magical land of Fichina."

"Fichina, huh? Okay, you can fill me in on the way there…and when _are_ we heading there?" Ash asked.

"Tomorrow," Briney said. "Right now the crew is having a big party to celebrate our victory over the Nihilators and the destruction of the Sea Temple."

"Since we're the head honchos now, we're sort of expected to show up," Leo said. "Now that you're back on your feet, do you feel like joining in?"

Ash sighed and shook his head. "No, after everything that's happened today, I'm not really in the mood. I have a lot to think about…I'd like to get some peace and quiet to do it all in."

"I shall join you," Sasha said. "Since I am not inclined to attend this very loud and crowded party either…but, if we could manage to do it somewhere abovedecks, where it isn't so…cramped…I would most appreciate it."

Ash nodded. "Sure thing. Anyone else want to come?"

Briney shook his head. "I'm the Captain now, so it wouldn't do for me to remove myself from the festivities. It could give the crew the idea that I think I'm better than them or something…which I am, but if we can avoid the messy business of a mutiny, I'd be more than happy to party with them."

"Leo and I are going as well," Lily said. "It will be our first…what is the term…'date?'"

Leo nodded. "Yeah, and we've got a spot on the dance floor reserved for us!"

Ash smirked. "Fair enough. Pikachu, Dawn, what about you?"

Pikachu shook his head. "Sorry Ash, but I think I'd better go with them…mainly to make sure they don't do anything stupid, and see that Tiny makes it out in one piece."

Leo grinned and waggled his eyebrows. "And maybe loosen up, get a few drinks, put the moves on your ninja babe…"

"Absolutely not," Pikachu said firmly. "Somebody has to stay sober on a boat full of crazy pirates and…the rest of you…and seeing as I'm disinclined to drink anyway, it might as well be Dawn and I."

Leo frowned in disappointment. "Aww, mon…dude, you're such a stick-in-the-mud."

"So my brothers tell me," Pikachu said flatly.

_Not even one dance?_ Dawn asked, tilting her head.

Pikachu hesitated. "Well…okay, _maybe_ one, but that's it, and nothing else. These shenanigans are the kinds of events where inhibitions get thrown to the wind and all sorts of crazy and unsavory things happen if you're not careful, and I for one refuse to lose control. There's no telling _what_ might happen if I were to do that."

The next morning…

"Ugh, my aching head…" Pikachu moaned as he woke up in a soft bed in one of the newly dubbed _Peeko XII's_ sumptuous crew quarters. He winced as far-too-bright sunlight wafted in through the nearby window. "Ohhh…My mouth tastes like…blech…and my memory's a blur…and I don't remember having all these scratches before…what happened last night?"

The blankets next to him stirred and Dawn poked her head out, her ears laid back against her head, her fur messed up, and her red eyes staring adoringly at Pikachu. _One of the most wonderful nights of my life,_ she tapped, the gashes in the blankets, mattress, pillows, and walls matching Pikachu's new scars indicating that whatever had happened last night, her claws had stayed on for all of it.

Pikachu stiffened, eyes widening in horror. "Oh no."

Dawn snuggled up to him, rubbing her face against his chest. _Did I please you, Master?_

The first thing to go through Pikachu's mind was _Arceusdammit._

The second thing was, _I really hope I was coherent enough to ask Leo for a condom…_

…

Meanwhile, at Mt. Blaze…

"Aaaaand we're back!" said the sharply-dressed Chatot, Oli, as the commercial cut back to the DNN newsdesk and the co-anchors sitting behind it.

"Welcome back to DNN, the finest information service in the Draconian Empire, bringing you all the latest information from our farthest-flung provinces to our nomadic capital right as it happens!" the Pachirisu, Roxy, said.

"Before the break, we left star reporter Valerie Osagawara on the battlefield of Mt. Blaze covering the invasion," Oli said. "Let's check in on her and see how that's going, shall we?"

The screen split in two, with one half showing the newsdesk and the other Valerie the Kirlia, with the explosions and bloodshed of the intense battle going on behind her serving as a dramatic backdrop. "Valerie, you're on! How are things going out there?" Roxy asked.

"Hi, Roxy, Oli! Things are going fairly well, actually. I think this battle's almost wrapped up. There's still a few holdouts, as you can see behind me, but the majority of the barbarians in the field have either seen the light and surrendered, or are dead," Valerie said cheerfully as a Chimchar's severed head flew through the air behind her. "While there's still a great deal of resistance inside the mountain, and the prime targets of Monkey King Gal and the Devil Golem eggs have yet to be eliminated, in my professional opinion I can safely say that within the hour the last of the fighting will be over with and we'll have a complete victory for the joint forces of Pokémon Square and our glorious empire. All hail Rayquaza!"

"All hail Rayquaza!" Roxy and Oli echoed.

"Foolish girly-womon! Burning Horde shall never be extinguished!" a heavily-armored Vigoroth floating in the air behind Valerie spat. The Kirlia's eyes flashed, and the Vigoroth started spinning. "Whooooaaa…Grobnar son of Grobnar not feel so good…"

"Valerie, when last we left you, you were attempting to get an interview with His Excellency and his new steed," Oli said. "How's that going?"

"Not so well," Valerie admitted. "He moves so quickly from place to place even with Teleportation I just can't catch up with him. The speed of that dragon he's riding is astonishing! Even the King's bodyguards are having difficulty keeping up."

"That be him downfall, for with none to protect he, false King be torn from heavens and brains smashed and devoured by army!" the Vigoroth roared. Valerie's eyes flashed, and he started spinning again. "Whooo…Grobnar son of Grobnar am starting to like this…"

"Despite my failure to get an exclusive with His Excellency, I think I've found an adequate substitute in my new friend here," Valerie said, gesturing to the Vigoroth.

"Grobnar son of Grobnar am more than adequate for all of girly-womon's needs! Grobnar son of Grobnar will dominate her and break her and show her what _real_ mon can do rather than sissy dragons!" the Vigoroth shouted. Valerie's eyes flashed, and he span yet again. "Whee-heee!"

"Ah, yes, we were wondering what you were doing with that," Roxy said.

"Just who is that, Valerie? It looks like you've captured a barbarian," Oli said.

"That's because I have," Valerie said. "To rebuff the critics who claim that we're overly partisan in our honest praise of His Excellency as the greatest ruler of the greatest nation on Earth, I decided to seek a member of the opposition to learn their opinion about the war effort. When this barbarian here tried to maul and rape me, I knew I'd found the perfect subject for an interview!"

"Grobnar son of Grobnar will be happy to maul and rape you, if girly-womon will put Grobnar son of Grobnar back on the ground!" the Vigoroth said.

"Yeah, that's not going to happen," Valerie said.

"Er, Valerie, did you happen to brain-blast him a little too hard?" Roxy said.

"Even if it's doubtful that this barbarian can sue you, we don't really want a repeat of what happened the _last_ time…" Oli said.

"That jerk had it coming, trying to feel me up…" Valerie muttered. "Anyway, no, I haven't touched his brain, he's like this normally. A Psychic scan confirms his current…deficiencies are a result of subpar education and getting hit on the head too many times."

"Grobnar son of Grobnar hold banged-up head with pride! Who need brain anyway? Grobnar son of Grobnar not need brain to kill and maim and dominate and rape and eat and kill and maim and dominate and kill and eat and shit in hand!" Grobnar son of Grobnar said smugly.

"Then why is your armor fastened by adhesives rather than knots, which the other barbarians use to hold their gear together?" Valerie asked.

"…Grobnar son of Grobnar am no good at tying things…" Grobnar son of Grobnar admitted in embarrassment. "But Grobnar son of Grobnar not need to tie knots! Grobnar son of Grobnar just needs to be strong enough to rip head off anyone who laughs at Grobnar son of Grobnar! Are _you_ laughing at Grobnar son of Grobnar?"

"No," Valerie said with a straight face. "I'm trying to interview you."

"Oh," said Grobnar son of Grobnar. "What am…'in-tur-vyu?' Do it taste good?"

"No Grobnar, an interview-" Valerie started.

"Grobnar _son of Grobnar_," the Vigoroth corrected her.

"Right, Grobnar son of Grobnar, an 'interview' is where one person asks another a series of questions to learn more about them," Valerie explained.

Grobnar son of Grobnar gave her a puzzled look. "…Why girly-womon want to learn more about Grobnar son of Grobnar?"

"Both because I'm curious, and so that our viewers back home can learn more about what it's like to be a barbarian," Valerie explained.

Grobnar son of Grobnar stared at her blankly. "Vyu…ers?"

"Ah, of course, you poor uncivilized creature, you have no idea what television is, do you?" Valerie asked sympathetically. "Well, it's like this. You see that device my colleague is pointing at us? It's broadcasting us talking in real-time to the homes of Pokémon all over the world so that they can see and hear everything we're doing."

Grobnar son of Grobnar blinked. "Wait…so…girly-womon is saying Pokémon who are not here am watching us?"

"That's right! Millions of them!" Valerie said.

"…How much am 'millions?' Am it more than…" The Vigoroth's brow furrowed as he tried to count the number of claws on his hands before finally giving up. "This?"

"_Much_ more," Valerie said.

"How much more?" Grobnar son of Grobnar asked.

"Well, you see all the Pokémon around us?" Valerie asked, gesturing to the battle.

"Yes," Grobnar son of Grobnar said.

"Well, imagine that many Pokémon, then imagine even more than that, then more than that, and then more than that. That's roughly how many are watching us," Valerie said.

Grobnar son of Grobnar turned green as sweat dripped down his face. "…Grobnar son of Grobnar think Grobnar son of Grobnar am going to be sick."

"Don't worry, we can edit that out in post-processing. No, wait, we can't, this is live. Never mind," Valerie said. "Anyway, Grobnar son of Grobnar, would you like to answer a few questions for our audience?"

"Why Grobnar son of Grobnar want to do that?" Grobnar son of Grobnar asked.

"Because if you don't, I can always crush your skull with my mind and find someone more amenable to talking to me," Valerie said.

"Er, no need to do that! Grobnar son of Grobnar happy to answer questions!" the Vigoroth said quickly. "Er…what am questions?"

"Well, a question is-" Valerie started.

"No, Grobnar son of Grobnar know what 'question' is! But what you want to know?" Grobnar son of Grobnar demanded.

"Ohhh, I see. Well, first of all, I'd like to ask you how you think this battle is going. It doesn't seem as if things are turning out well for your side," Valerie commented.

"Ha! Girly-womon knows nothing! Burning Horde shall crush dragons!" Grobnar son of Grobnar boasted.

"Really? Then why are your forces currently outnumbered and dying in hundreds?" Valerie asked skeptically.

"…Er…it part of clever strategy," Grobnar son of Grobnar said in embarrassment. "Anyway…even if we losing—which we am _not_—Burning Horde will fight to death to protect honor of Monkey King and Mt. Blaze! We never surrender! We not even know what it means!"

"Well, 'surrender' means-" Valerie started.

"Grobnar son of Grobnar know what 'surrender' means! Grobnar son of Grobnar were being historical!" the Vigoroth snapped.

"You mean 'rhetorical,'" Valerie corrected.

"Grobnar son of Grobnar means what Grobnar son of Grobnar means!" he snarled.

"Right. Anyway…you said you'll never surrender?" Valerie asked.

"That am right!" Grobnar son of Grobnar said smugly.

"Then why have a significant number of your comrades thrown themselves upon the mercy of our benevolent Emperor and traded their freedom in exchange for their lives?" Valerie asked.

"Girly-womon is lying! No barbarian would ever do something as unmonly as that!" Grobnar son of Grobnar insisted.

"WE SURRENDER! WE SURRENDER! JUST STOP HURTING US!" several of the barbarians in the background screamed.

Valerie raised an eyebrow and Grobnar son of Grobnar laughed nervously. "Hahaha…boy, am Grobnar son of Grobnar's face red…"

"Right…anyway, why do you suppose your brethren are choosing to surrender rather than continue fighting? Weren't you just saying how they'd all thrown down their lives to protect the honor of your King?" Valerie asked.

"Every good barbarian should!" Grobnar son of Grobnar snarled. "Them all cowards! Know nothing of loyalty and honor!"

"Not like you?" Valerie asked.

"That right!" Grobnar son of Grobnar said proudly.

"So I take it to mean that _you_ would never surrender, and would rather die than do such a thing?" Valerie pressed.

"That right!" Grobnar son of Grobnar said proudly.

"Well, all right…" Valerie said, eyes starting to glow.

"W-wait! Grobnar son of Grobnar not mean Grobnar son of Grobnar want to die right now! Especially not at hands of weak girly-womon rather than soldier!" Grobnar son of Grobnar said desperately. Valerie growled, and Grobnar son of Grobnar gulped. "Grobnar son of Grobnar am not helping Grobnar son of Grobnar's case, is Grobnar son of Grobnar?"

"No, Grobnar son of Grobnar is not," Valerie said coolly. "And I'll have you know I'm anything _but_ weak. I've reported from the frontlines of dozens of battlefields, ventured into the deepest wilderness and darkest inner city streets in pursuit of the truth, and single-handedly defeated the bodyguards of warlords and crime bosses just to get an exclusive, not to mention maintaining a high-profile career in an extremely competitive field while juggling a marriage and five children, so don't you _dare_ call me _weak!_"

Grobnar son of Grobnar gulped. "G-Grobnar son of Grobnar am sorry."

"Good. You should be," Valerie said, calming down. "Anyway, what are your feelings on the battle? There are some who would call the Draconian Empire's attack on your mountain to be an unprovoked assault and bullying an underdeveloped and misunderstood people. Would you agree or disagree with this sentiment?"

"Empire's attack make sense to Grobnar son of Grobnar. We going to destroy you and rest of continent, maybe even whole world!" Grobnar son of Grobnar said proudly. He pouted. "But then you am showing up and ruining everything. But Grobnar son of Grobnar am not giving up hope! Battle out here am not going well, but brothers inside mountain will save us, and King Gal will crush all who stand before him!"

"You mean, Monkey King Gal, who is currently battling Rescue Team Auraforce of Pokémon Square?" Valerie asked.

"Yes, Monkey King…wait, Team Auraforce?" Grobnar son of Grobnar cried in horror.

"Yes, the very same. Why? Have you heard of them?" Valerie asked.

Grobnar son of Grobnar groaned. "Then Monkey King am doomed. Grobnar son of Grobnar love Gal. He am strongest of all barbarians. He Grobnar son of Grobnar's idol and hero! But Rescue Team Auraforce? No way he can beat them. He am doomed." He sagged in despair.

"A sentiment many of your comrades would appear to share," Valerie said, impressed by Grobnar son of Grobnar's surprising realism. "Would you still prefer to die rather than surrender, knowing you would be dying for a hopeless cause?"

"Of course! Grobnar son of Grobnar am still loyal to King. Even if he not going to win, Grobnar son of Grobnar still fight for him!" Grobnar son of Grobnar said loyally.

"Well, okay," Valerie said, eyes glowing.

"W-wait! Not _now!_ We not done with interview yet!" Grobnar son of Grobnar said quickly.

"I suppose that's true," Valerie admitted. "Grobnar son of Grobnar, I'm sure our viewers would like to know how you came to be in the service of Gal and his horde."

Grobnar son of Grobnar shrugged. "Not long story. Grobnar son of Grobnar born to Grobnar son of Grabnor of Poop-Throwing Sloth tribe."

"…That's kind of an unfortunate name," Valerie said.

Grobnar son of Grobnar sighed. "Yes, everyone laugh at us. But then Monkey King Gal conquer our tribe and absorb us into horde! Say tribe and clan divisions no longer matter, as together we form big army to crush everyone else! Then _nobody_ laugh at Grobnar son of Grobnar anymore!" He paused, and his lip started to tremble. "At least…not to Grobnar son of Grobnar's face…"

"What's wrong? Did the other barbarians bully you?" Valerie asked sympathetically.

"No! They make Grobnar son of Grobnar stronger! By…by calling Grobnar son of Grobnar names…and playing pranks…and breaking Grobnar son of Grobnar's favorite spear…and…and…and making fun of how Grobnar son of Grobnar not tie knots or count or talk like others!" He burst into thick, greasy tears. "Grobnar son of Grobnar not understand…Monkey King Gal say all barbarians are equal. That we all important to great cause. So why other barbarians still mean to Grobnar son of Grobnar? Even own father say Grobnar son of Grobnar am disappointment!"

Valerie sweatdropped. "Oh dear…"

"It seems as if you've touched a bit of a nerve there, Valerie," Roxy commented.

"Wow, who knew barbarians had such feelings?" Oli murmured.

"Grobnar son of Grobnar just want to be great warrior and make father and Monkey King Gal proud…why not others see that? We all supposed to be working together towards great conquest! We supposed to be one big happy horde! But we fight and steal and kill each other just like before…and nobody do anything about it! Grobnar son of Grobnar not get it…" the Vigoroth whimpered pathetically.

"There, there," Valerie said, lowering her prisoner so she could pat him on the head. "It's all right. I understand how you feel."

"R-really?" Grobnar son of Grobnar sobbed.

"Well, sure. Being a reporter is _extremely_ harrowing. I could tell you stories…" Valerie said darkly. "And if you think the bullying _you_ had was hard, try being the youngest in a family of six with your siblings all being much prettier than you, _especially_ the boys. But anyway, you wouldn't see the sort of thing you're talking about in _our_ army."

"No?" Grobnar son of Grobnar asked in surprise.

Valerie shook her head. "No, that sort of thing is worked out of them in basic training. Our soldiers are able to put their personal differences aside out of a united loyalty and admiration for our leader, the great and glorious Rayquaza…and a common fear of the utterly terrifying General Nuken, who is more than happy to make…_examples_ of those who fail to maintain proper discipline or abuse their fellows."

"He kill them?" Grobnar son of Grobnar asked.

"Worse, he gives them a public dressing-down in front of everyone. _Very_ embarrassing. It takes some of them months to recover," Valerie said.

"Wow. Grobnar son of Grobnar love to see that!" Grobnar son of Grobnar said.

"Well, you _could_, if you surrendered. Unlike your prisoners, who are horrifically abused, tortured, and raped, we just ship off most of our POWs to penal colonies to be rehabilitated and eventually incorporated into society. Some even get into the military," Valerie said.

Grobnar son of Grobnar blinked. "…Really? That…actually not sound so bad. Am there food?"

"Lots," Valerie said. "None of it from living Pokémon, though, which I guess is a turn-off for you. And before you ask, no, you can't kill or rape anyone. That would get you in trouble. And you said you'd rather die for your King than surrender."

"That right," Grobnar son of Grobnar said…though he didn't sound quite as confident as before.

"Which I suppose means our interview is drawing to an end, and with it, your life, since there really isn't much else I have to ask you," Valerie said apologetically. "Except for two things."

"What that?" Grobnar son of Grobnar asked.

"You revere your King, Grobnar son of Grobnar. As a loyal subject of Rayquaza myself, I understand this. However, where is your King when his people need him most? His subjects are dying by the hundreds out here. Why is Gal doing nothing to stop it?" Valerie asked.

"Because he am engaged fighting Team Auraforce!" Grobnar son of Grobnar said.

"Well, yes, that's true, but…do you know where they're fighting him, Grobnar son of Grobnar? In his throne room. He hasn't moved from the spot since the battle began. While you were fighting and dying in his name, he sat in the safety of his stronghold and didn't lift a finger to help you," Valerie said.

"He not need to! He King! It our duty to fight for him, not other way around!" Grobnar son of Grobnar insisted.

"Then how do you explain what _our_ King is doing?" Valerie asked. "While your leader sat in his throne and watched the battle from afar, our King joined the fighting on the frontlines. You can see him even now, riding back and forth across the field of battle on his steed, leading his soldiers and doing his best to save the lives of his mons." As she said this, Latios with Rayquaza on his back flew by in the background, incinerating some barbarians with Dragonbreath. This was not lost on the reporter or her interviewee.

"…So? What your point?" Grobnar son of Grobnar asked.

"You are loyal to your king because he is the strongest of you all. I can understand that. It's what makes sense to your culture, which is devoted to strength. But we are loyal to our king not just because he is the strongest…but because he uses that strength to protect us, his people," Valerie said. "I do not mean to disparage your beliefs in the slightest, but…which sort of leader do you suppose deserves the most respect? One who is merely strong…or one who is strong and acts to save those who are devoted to him?"

Grobnar son of Grobnar frowned. "What you trying to do? Confuse Grobnar son of Grobnar? Sway Grobnar son of Grobnar's loyalties, make Grobnar son of Grobnar abandon Gal? Waste of time! Grobnar son of Grobnar never turn on Gal! Grobnar son of Grobnar love Gal!"

Valerie sighed in disappointment. "I see. Well, if that's the case-"

"Grobnar son of Grobnar not done. Grobnar son of Grobnar love Gal…but Grobnar son of Grobnar not think Gal can win," Grobnar son of Grobnar said miserably. "And while Grobnar son of Grobnar would die for Gal…if Gal himself am dead, if he not benefit from Grobnar son of Grobnar's death…what am point?"

"What am point indeed," Valerie said, impressed. "Then does that mean you will surrender?"

"Yes…but not for reason you am thinking!" Grobnar son of Grobnar said. "Grobnar son of Grobnar not afraid to die. Grobnar son of Grobnar not so scared he break oath to live. Grobnar son of Grobnar choose to live in honor of Gal! Grobnar son of Grobnar will become BAM-"

"POW," Valerie corrected.

"Grobnar son of Grobnar become whatever so that Grobnar son of Grobnar be with other barbarians, so that Grobnar son of Grobnar learn secrets of Draconian Empire…then Grobnar son of Grobnar destroy it, and have revenge for Gal!" Grobnar son of Grobnar declared.

"…You do realize you just announced your plan to me and to everyone watching us, thus making it impossible for you to actually pull it off, right?" Valerie said blankly.

The Stantler-in-the-headlights look on the Vigoroth's face was adorable. "Er…Grobnar son of Grobnar am just kidding?"

Roxy and Oli shook their heads pityingly. "Not the brightest monkey in the barrel, is he?" the Pachirisu commented.

"You have to admire his spirit, though," the Chatot said.

"I don't," Roxy said. Oli shrugged.

"Regardless, I still accept your surrender, Grobnar son of Grobnar," Valerie said. "There's just one tiny problem. You're not going to a POW camp."

"Huh? Grobnar son of Grobnar am not?" asked the confused Vigoroth.

"Nope. That's what happens to enemies who surrender to soldiers. I, on the other hand, am a reporter, and thus not subject to military law. Therefore, rather than turn you over to the army, I get to keep you to myself!" Valerie said cheerfully.

Grobnar son of Grobnar's eyes bulged out of their sockets. "Wh-what?"

"That's right! I'm taking you home with me!" Valerie declared.

"B-but you not able to do that!" Grobnar son of Grobnar protested.

"Of course I can, silly! It's in the DNN charter. Reporters are allowed to take witnesses or subjects of interest into protective custody if they believe they're in danger," Valerie explained.

"But Grobnar son of Grobnar not in danger," said the confused Grobnar son of Grobnar.

"…Uh, hello? You're an enemy combatant serving a losing faction in the middle of a warzone. If you don't get killed, you'll get shipped off to a penal colony, which, while nowhere near as horrible as your own people's dungeons, will still be far from pleasant," Valerie said. "Whereas if you come with me, not only will you not die, but you'll get food, shelter, and the education you missed out on in your childhood." She made a face. "And a bath, which you badly need."

"…There am food?" Grobnar son of Grobnar said.

"Lots of it," Valerie said.

"And sex?" Grobnar son of Grobnar asked hopefully.

Valerie snorted. "What, seriously? I'm married with five kids. And even if I weren't, you're not my type. So no, no sex."

"Oh," Grobnar son of Grobnar said in disappointment. "Well, at least there food…"

"That there is," Valerie said. "Then does that mean you're surrendering into my custody?"

He shrugged. "Grobnar son of Grobnar guess so. Sound better than penis colony."

"That's 'penal' colony," Valerie said.

Grobnar son of Grobnar stared blankly. "What am difference?"

Valerie sighed. "This is not gonna be easy…"

"It certainly won't be," Roxy said as Valerie's part of the screen shrunk into a window filling the upper-right corner again. "But you've certainly taken on much more hopeless charity cases during your long tenure as a reporter, Valerie."

"At least this one can talk, unlike the last guy," Oli said.

"He could talk perfectly well, he just wasn't capable of saying anything nice," Valerie said.

"Who am girly-womon talking to?" Grobnar son of Grobnar asked.

"My coworkers back at the studio," Valerie said.

"Oh. They Pokémon far away who am watching us?" Grobnar son of Grobnar asked.

"Yes. Why, do you have anything you'd like to say to them?" Valerie asked.

"Er…yes. Do Grobnar son of Grobnar's hair look all right?" the Vigoroth asked, rubbing the red tuft at the top of his head self-consciously. Valerie sweatdropped.

"Aaaaaand that's probably a good point to leave our reporter in the field for now," Roxy said as the window was filled by the DNN logo.

"We'll get back to Valerie and her new pet in a bit. Now for the sports!" Oli announced.

Meanwhile, inside Mt. Blaze…

A Makuhita had his ear pressed to the side of the solid metal door trapping him and a Budew inside their cell. "Well?" the Budew asked quietly. "Do you hear anything?"

The Makuhita shook his head. "The door's too thick. I almost thought I heard sounds of fighting, but I can't tell if it's someone here to rescue us or just some typical barbarian roughhousing."

"I felt the ground shake earlier. Either there's some kinda battle going on or the volcano's about to erupt…" the Budew murmured.

"Either way, I don't think we're going to be here much longer," the Makuhita muttered. "If there _is_ a battle happening out there, I doubt our hosts will want to keep us alive for much longer."

The Budew nodded in agreement. "So, how are we going to handle this?"

The Makuhita smirked. "Simple. We get ready for one last charge, based on whoever opens that door next. If it's a barbarian, we rush him. If it's a friend, we also rush him, but give him an Ursaring hug rather than snapping their necks."

"Sounds reasonable," the Budew said.

The Makuhita frowned and backed away. "I think someone's coming. Get ready."

The duo stood side-by-side, waiting anxiously as they heard the lock click and saw the door begin to slide open. They tensed when they saw it was being opened by a Primeape, and knew that this was it: the end of the line. But if this was truly their last stand, they were going to take someone else down with them. "When I give the signal, we rush him," the Makuhita muttered.

"And the signal is?" the Budew asked.

The Makuhita smirked. "You need to ask?"

"Both of you, you're free to-" the Primeape started.

"Die? Not easily! TARGET CLEAR!" the Makuhita shouted as he lunged forwards, tackling the startled Pig Monkey Pokémon and knocking him to the ground, punching him in the face repeatedly as the Budew scurried over and bounced up and down on his head.

"Ack! No! Stop! You don't understand!" the Primeape cried in alarm, struggling to try and knock his attackers off of him.

"You're damn right I don't understand…if you barbarians had a lick of sense, you wouldn't have tried to take us down alone!" the Makuhita bragged.

"But then again, you're barbarians, so what else would you expect?" the Budew taunted.

Claws suddenly dug into the Makuhita's shoulders, dragging him off the Primeape. "Hey, what do you think you're doing?" the Guts Pokémon shouted, thrashing about angrily. "Let me go and face me like a mon!"

"Barlow, cut it out! You're safe! We're all friends here!" a familiar voice shouted.

Barlow the Makuhita stiffened. "What the…Wendy? Is that you?"

The Staraptor holding him smirked and turned him loose. "Do you know anyone else who could lift your bloated hide off the ground?"

"Wendy? But…what are you doing here? Is this a rescue effort?" cried the startled Budew.

"Well, of course it is, Crawford you dumbass," Sven said affectionately as he walked over, along with Keith, Team Seasons, and a number of other Pokémon whom Crawford and Barlow recognized as their fellow inmates, the Rescue Team members of Vientown and Seasonsburg. "You didn't really think we'd just leave you here to rot, did you?"

"We didn't think you knew we were still alive, to be honest," Crawford confessed.

Barlow burst into laughter. "Hahaha! Please, like they'd ever really think tough guys like us could ever be beaten by some lame-ass barbarians, right?"

"Er, yeah, right…" Keith said, not meeting Barlow's eyes.

"Well, we're happy to see you—it certainly took you long enough to get here!—but…may I ask why exactly you're surrounded by barbarians but aren't doing anything about it?" Crawford asked, hopping off of the Primeape.

"Hmm?" Elita glanced over her shoulder at the monkey and Fire Pokémon nearby. "Oh, they're not barbarians anymore. They've defected."

"Defected? Really?" asked the astonished Barlow.

"I didn't know they could do that," said the surprised Crawford.

"We can and we did," a handsome and charismatic Monferno said.

"That's what I was trying to tell you before you jumped me!" the Primeape snarled as he got to his feet, rubbing his snout.

Barlow sweatdropped. "Um…whoops…sorry…"

"Don't worry, you aren't the only ones who reacted that way," one of the other prisoners, Luana the Buneary, said.

"Not much of a surprise, really, since we've been imprisoned and tortured by guys looking a lot like them for the last few weeks…" Jack the Chatot muttered, still shooting distrustful looks at the so-called 'reformed' barbarians.

"So, you guys came all the way here to rescue us? I'm touched!" Barlow said. "But, uh, what took you so long?"

"…To be honest, we didn't even know you were here until about an hour ago," Cameron confessed. "We thought you'd died along with nearly everyone else back home."

"…Oh. Well…I guess that's understandable," Barlow muttered.

"But then how did you find us?" Crawford asked. "What are you even doing here at all, if you didn't come here to rescue us?"

"Right now, Pokémon Square and the Draconian Empire are launching a huge attack against Mt. Blaze to try and defeat the horde before they can destroy the continent," Spenser said. "We and a number of other strike teams were sent to infiltrate the mountain and take out Gal along with several other high-priority targets. On the way, we ran into Goku and his mons here, who for reasons of their own wanted to switch to our side. They revealed that you guys were still alive as proof that we could trust them…a trust, I am glad to say, that they have very much earned."

"We're sorry we doubted you before," Joel said to the Monferno a little stiffly, not used to apologizing for anything. "You were on the level all along."

Goku smiled. "It's all right. I'm glad we could prove ourselves worthy in your eyes."

"And now that we're all together again, it's time to leave this joint!" Solana the Plusle said.

Her partner Lunick the Minun nodded in agreement. "I won't be sorry to see the back of it…"

"Then what are we waiting for? Let's get out of here!" Percy the Politoed said.

"Not yet," Goku said with a frown. "There's still your end of the bargain. You promised that if I helped you save your friends, you'd help me get my brother out of here."

"We've alerted our allies to keep an eye out for him. If he's here, they'll find him sooner or later," Sven promised.

A Monferno suddenly ran screaming into the room. "Brother! Brother! Take me with you! Whatever you're doing, take me with-" He paused when he saw that his brother and his soldiers were not alone in the secret prison block, and the corpses of the guards who had been protecting this hidden cavern were littering the floor. "Oh crap."

"Alternatively, he could just walk right in and save us the effort," Cameron joked.

"Um. I seem to have picked the wrong room. I'll…just…get out of your way…" Ignik turned, only to find his way blocked by some of the Draconian soldiers. "Ack!"

"Ignik, relax, they're on our side," Goku said. "Or rather, we're on theirs."

"We are?" Ignik asked.

"Yes, we are. We're defecting," Ete the Ambipom said.

Ignik blinked. "…We can _do_ that?"

"Apparently…" said Aria the Machamp, who was another one of the rescued Rescue Team members that was not entirely happy with their choice in allies.

"In return for guiding these Pokémon here to rescue their friends, I've secured amnesty for myself and my mons," Goku continued.

"And for me?" Ignik asked hopefully.

Goku hesitated. "Well…not _exactly_…"

"You've been granted sanctuary, but not amnesty," Elita said.

Ignik stared at her blankly. "What does that mean?"

"Amnesty means that your brother and his friends can waltz around town as much as they like and we can't do anything about it…" Freddie the Tangela grumbled. "Sanctuary means that you get to stay in town, but you get put on trial for various crimes against society and are given the penalty of working it off rather than just getting executed."

"…Oh," Ignik said. "I don't like the sound of that. Can't I get what Goku's having instead?"

"I'm afraid not," Goku said apologetically. "You're wanted back in Pokémon Square for a number of somewhat heinous charges. While they're willing to offer my mons and I a clean slate, they're…a little less ready to do the same for you."

"…Well, that figures," Ignik grumbled under his breath. "As usual, Goku gets everything handed to him on a silver platter, while I get stuck with all the crummy stuff…will my punishment be cruel and unusual and humiliating?"

"Probably," the Loudred paradoxically dubbed 'Silent' Chris said a little too eagerly.

"Will there be food?" Ignik asked.

"Yes," Joel said.

Ignik shrugged. "Eh, then I guess it can't be much worse than my life here, so long as there's no sodomy involved. Fine, I'll take my lumps like a mon."

"That's a first…" Ete murmured to herself, earning her a frown from Goku.

"In that case, I think we're ready to get out of here," Sven said.

"I'll definitely be happy to see the light of day again," Barlow commented.

"Not as much as I am! I was wilting from the heat and lack of sunlight," Crawford complained.

"Oh, suck it up like a mon," Barlow said unsympathetically.

"Before we go, there's just one thing I need to ask: do any of you know the whereabouts of Professor Hastings?" Elita asked their rescued friends. Professor Hastings was a genius scientist whose technological breakthroughs had made the twin towns of Vientown and Seasonsburg wonderful places to live prior to their total destruction by the barbarians. With the help of Chairperson Erma and a dedicated staff including the Operators Rhythmi and Linda, he had guided the Rescue Teams of Seasonsburg and Vientown, directing them much like Scotty and the Mayor of Pokémon Square commanded their town's Rescue Teams.

The freed Pokémon looked at each other in surprise. "We thought he was with you," Percy the Politoed said. "Wasn't he with the groups you guys were taking out of the two-town area, while we stayed to cover your escape?"

"We were, but along the way we lost sight of him, along with a few others. It was a chaotic night, so it's understandable—though disappointing—that we managed to lose a few people," Sven said solemnly.

"We thought he died, but when we heard you guys were okay, we thought that maybe the barbarians had captured him too," Keith said. "But Goku said that there's been no sign of a Pokémon matching Hasting's description anywhere in Mt. Blaze. We were hoping you might have some clue as to what happened to him, but I guess not."

"That's funny…I wonder where he is, then…" Crawford murmured.

"I hope he's all right…the Professor's a man of science, not action!" Barlow said.

"I guess that's a mystery that'll have to wait for another day," Cameron said with a sigh. "For now, we've got to get out of here. We've spent enough time here as is, they should be done setting up the bombs any minute now!"

Ignik blinked. "Bombs? You're going to blow this place up?"

"Yeah. Got a problem with that?" Joel asked.

"Er, no, no, not at all. I mean, volcanoes blow up all the time, right? What's a little artificial eruption now and then?" Ignik said quickly.

"Since we've accomplished what we came here to do, it's time to go home," Spenser said.

"But before we do…I believe these belong to you?" Ete asked as she came forward and extended her tails before Barlow and Crawford.

The two Pokémons' eyes lit up in delight when they saw what her appendages were holding. "Hey, our Rescue Team badges!" Crawford said eagerly, jumping up and plucking the badge from the Ambipom's grip. "I'd wondered what had happened to those!"

"I was worried those stupid barbarians had bashed them to pieces with rocks trying to figure out how they worked," Barlow joked…until he saw the tooth marks on his. He sweatdropped.

"A Rescue Team Pokémon should never be separated from his or her badge," Wendy said as Barlow and Crawford eagerly put theirs back on. "It's like losing a piece of themselves."

"Which piece?" Keith asked.

"Er…the sort of piece a mon isn't a mon without," Sven said awkwardly.

Keith made a face. "You mean…"

"Yep," Sven said.

"Kidneys?" Keith gasped.

"…What?" Sven said in confusion.

"A mon isn't a mon without kidneys. We can't live without them," the Buizel said.

The Luxray sweatdropped. "…Yes. Kidneys. That's exactly what a Rescue Team badge is like, Keith. Well done."

"Thanks!" Keith said brightly, oblivious to the sarcasm.

"Do you have badges enough for all of us?" Goku asked as everyone-Rescue Team, Draconian soldier, and ex-barbarian alike-started gathering around.

"You don't need them. One badge is enough for a mass teleportation, though it's easier with extras," Elita said.

"And since we have a ton now…" Joel said as the freed prisoners flashed their recovered badges proudly. "We shouldn't have a problem getting back to base."

Spenser tapped his badge. "Scotty, this is Spenser. Mission complete. We've rescued our friends and found Ignik Firebottom. We're ready for extraction."

"_Good show, lads! Hang on, I'll have ye home in a jiffy…"_ Scotty replied. The studs on the badges started glowing as they powered up.

"Is this going to hurt?" Ignik asked anxiously. "I have a very low pain threshold."

"Oh no, it's nothing to worry about," Solana said.

"Yeah, it's just your entire body being broken down at the submolecular level, transformed into energy, and reassembled miles away," Lunick added. "Completely harmless."

"Yeah, hardly anyone _ever_ dies or gets turned into a horrible monster by teleportation accidents anymore," Percy the Politoed said.

"Eeeeek," Ignik whimpered in fright.

Goku frowned at them. "That sort of talk is unnecessary."

"Why? We're just being completely honest," Solana said innocently.

"Yeah, hardly anyone dies or gets turned into a horrible monster by teleportation accidents because it's completely safe," Lunick said.

"Phew," said the relieved Ignik.

"_Most_ of the time," Percy added.

Ignik swallowed. "Uh, you know, I'm having second thoughts. I don't suppose we could just, you know, _walk_ out of here instea-"

His pitiful pleas for mercy were cut off when all of them abruptly vanished in a flash of light, leaving the empty prison cave behind.

Elsewhere in the mountain…

The massive battle between the joint forces of Pokémon Square and the Draconian Empire and the villainous and mysterious Team Rocket for custody of the Tyranitar T-Bone AKA Vicious the Iron Masked Marauder raged on unabated. As Rocket Grunts clashed with Draconian soldiers and Rescue Teams waged war against the Go-Rock Quads and the enigmatic Team Quantum, the time-frozen T-Bone stood in the center of it all, unaware of what was going on around him or just how important a pawn he was in the game between the forces of good and evil.

Wes was starting to feel like he was a pawn as well, and he didn't like it one bit. "Will you _stop_ doing that?" he snarled angrily as he fired a Hyper Beam at Paradox, only for her to conjure up a pair of time portals. One of them fired a Hyper Beam at Wes, while the other absorbed the beam Wes was shooting, shunting it a few seconds back in time to return at the Espeon.

"I'm aware that you aren't fond of my tactics, but I'd rather not," said Paradox apologetically, opening a portal behind her to intercept the Shadow Ball Rui was firing at her from behind…and much to Rui's surprise, what looked like _herself_ fell out of the portal and right into the path of the Shadow Ball, crying in pain as it exploded and flung her to the ground.

Rui's jaw dropped. "What…what the…is that…me?"

"Ugh…" the other Rui groaned, staggering to her feet. "Yeah, that felt every bit as painful as I thought it would be when I saw it happening the first time…"

"…_Two_ Ruis? If I were a more perverted person, I'd be having a twin threesome fantasy right now," the disturbed Wes murmured.

"Oh, I have those all the time, except that I'm actually able to fulfill them thanks to the miracle of time travel," Paradox said.

"…I really did not need to know that," said the disturbed Wes.

"I could provide one for you and Rui later to make up for all this, if you like," the Celebi offered. "I'm aware I'm not exactly endearing myself to you right now, and would love to change your opinion of me, if I could."

"I told you, I'm not that perverted!" Wes snapped…although he was tempted.

"Um…shouldn't the universe be exploding about now? I thought past and future selves of a person weren't supposed to meet," said the Rui who had not fallen out of a portal.

"No, but just to be safe…" Paradox gestured, and a time portal opened under Rui. She yelped as she vanished into the past.

"Rui!" Wes cried.

"Wes, I'm right here," said the other Rui, who was actually the first and only Rui. Isn't time travel confusing?

"Oh, right," Wes said Mareepishly, his head starting to pound again.

"Hmm, and that gives me an idea…" Paradox murmured. Her antenna twitched, and suddenly about a dozen time portals opened, and, much to Wes and Rui's horror, a dozen more pink Celebis emerged from them.

"Oh come on! That's not fair!" Wes protested.

"It isn't?" one Celebi said, looking puzzled.

"You use moves like Double-Team or Substitute to make it seem like you're in more than one place at once. How is this different?" asked another.

"Because that's an illusion, whereas you really _are_ in more than one place at once!" Rui cried. "I think. How are you doing this, exactly?"

"I pulled instances of myself from different points on my timeline," said a Celebi.

"Not only does this mean I get a lot of backup, but since the Paradoxes you see before you are from my past _and_ my future, that means each of us has experienced this battle several times now, and knows every move you will make," another spoke up.

"That's ridiculous!" Wes shouted…at the exact same time as one of the Celebis, who mimicked him word for word. "Hey, don't do that! I said stop it! STOP IT!"

One of the Paradoxes nodded gravely. "Every time I hear that, I can't help but feel that you could have come up with something more original than that."

"It wasn't very original the first time I heard it, either," said another Paradox.

Wes sagged in disbelief. "I don't…I don't know how to deal with this…"

"You're not making sense!" Rui snarled. "One minute you're saying our choices _do_ matter, another you're implying nothing can happen that you haven't already foreseen! First you say you want us to keep fighting, and then you act as if there's no point! What do you _want_?"

"Simply put, I want T-Bone," a Paradox said.

"And to have a many-me orgy with my boyfriend," said another

The other Paradoxes nodded in agreement. "Yeah, that's always fun," said one of them.

"He always gets so cute and red all over when we gang-bang him," said another.

Rui sweatdropped. "That's…really gross and not what I meant at all. What I was trying to say is, what do you want from _us?_"

"…I'm sorry that I'm causing you so much distress, but that is not a question I can easily answer," said a Paradox apologetically.

"Part of it is something you must discover for yourself," said another one.

"But another part…is that we want you to fight," said still another.

Wes blinked. "Huh?"

"Even when all seems lost, even when it seems like there is no chance whatsoever of you prevailing, the thing that separates a hero from a coward is that a hero will never stop fighting, even when he knows he might lose," said a Paradox.

"Is it from courage? A desperate hope that they can somehow manage to prevail? A foolhardy belief that they cannot lose? Or maybe even a grim decision to drag down as much of your enemy with you as you can?" A Paradox shrugged. "It matters little. The truth of the matter is that the future only belongs to those who are willing to fight for it."

Rui blinked. "Wait…then…is this some kind of test? To see if we deserve the future you're trying to create, the sort of future _we_ want to make on our own?"

"Essentially, yes," said one of the Paradoxes.

"But then why are you making it completely impossible for us to win?" Wes snapped.

"I said I wanted you to be willing to fight even in insurmountable odds, since it is that sort of attitude which will help you to survive what is to come," a Paradox said.

"And the best way I could think of to see how far you're willing to go is to create a scenario that is almost impossible to overcome_,_" said another. "Is it unfair? Perhaps, but your enemy will be even more merciless than I. If you can find a way to defeat me, however…then there's very little your final adversary can throw at you that you will be unable to handle."

"…Oh. That actually makes sense," Wes admitted.

"That doesn't mean I like it, though," Rui grumbled.

The Celebis sighed. "I'm not surprised…but then again, don't we feel that way for all the most important lessons in life?" In unison, the Celebis formed AncientPowers and threw them at the Eon couple. Wes and Rui's eyes glowed as they used Psychic to deflect the spheres…but time portals opened to swallow up the energy balls, and more opened over their heads, around them, and beneath them, spitting the balls back at them. They tried to deflect those as well, but the Paradoxes conjured more time portals, not just to redirect the energy balls but so that they could throw new ones into the mix, causing the volley being thrown at Wes and Rui to get bigger and bigger with every passing second. The duo's eyes glowed feverishly as their brains worked overtime, desperately trying to repel the AncientPowers, too busy defending to retaliate or even to move, lest they get hit by the ever-increasing time-traveling bombardment. Their minds raced, frantically trying to find a solution, trying to find a way out of this…

And Rui thought a little too hard, causing her Psychic defense to slip just enough to let one of the AncientPower balls break free from her grip and slam into her side. She gasped, the shock causing her guard to lower and allow the dozens of energy balls to rain down on her. "RUI!" Wes cried in horror, releasing one last burst of Psychic energy to give himself enough breathing room to throw himself over Rui, bringing up a Light Screen to try and shield them. Unfortunately, the Paradoxes opened a time portal that all of the energy balls were sucked into, another portal reappearing just behind the Light Screen and causing Wes to be hit by the dozens of AncientPower blasts all at once at point-blank range, the explosion shattering the Light Screen and blasting him off of Rui so hard he didn't even have a chance to scream. Rui, her boyfriend's body not enough to shield her from the full brunt of the explosion, gasped in horror as she staggered over to his charred, smoking form. "WES! NOOOOOOO!"

The Celebis winced when they saw how badly damaged Wes was. They had all known it was coming, but there was nothing they could have done about it. "He will live," one of the Paradoxes assured Rui apologetically as the time portals dissipated.

"As will you," said another. She started floating down towards Wes…

Only to find her way blocked by Rui crouching low over Wes's body, eyes flashing and teeth bared in rage as her hair stood up on her back. "Don't you get any closer to him, you bitch!"

"I only seek to heal him," said the Paradox.

"What, after everything you did to him, you're going to _heal_ him?" Rui asked incredulously.

"Of course," said the Paradox. "How else can I make up for causing him such harm?"

"Did I not do it before?" said another.

"It was never our intent to kill either of you, Rui. Both of you are needed," said a third.

The Umbreon snapped. "Needed? Needed? For this perfect future you keep babbling about? If this future requires you to beat the crap out of Wes, THEN IT'S NOT A FUTURE I WANT ANY PART OF!" Her eyes turned blue, and blue flames engulfed her body.

Wes stirred, his eyes opening a crack to see the form of an azure and ebony goddess of wrath standing protectively over him. "R-Rui?" he whispered in amazement.

"YOU CAN TAKE YOUR FUTURE AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR SINGULARITIES!" Rui shouted, the flames of Aura crackling wildly around her.

"Now _that's_ a good line," one of the Paradoxes commented.

"Yes, it gave me Zangoosebumps the first time I heard it, too," another agreed.

Rui _howled,_ her surging emotions reaching their peak and blasting outwards in an explosion of Aura that slammed into the Celebis, flinging them back in cries of pain and causing all but one of them to vanish in green flashes of light. As that one Celebi, the original Paradox, hovered in a daze, Rui charged forward, blue flames trailing off her form as she smashed into the pink fairy with an Aura-powered Faint Attack so hard that they cratered the ground on impact.

In spite of her pain, and in spite of the enraged Umbreon pinning her to the ground, Paradox smiled. "Excellent, Rui! You have awakened the Aura within you, just as I hoped you would!"

Rui blinked in surprise, the flames around her dissipating. "Huh? W-wait…are you telling me you _wanted_ that to happen all along?"

"But of course. As I said before, this battle was a test to see if you could defeat the undefeatable, if you could surpass your limits to gain the strength to overcome anything," Paradox said reasonably. "This was my goal all along. To trigger the power that sleeps within you. You will need it in the hard times to come. Aaron will help you hone your skills and master your ability. It will be difficult, and there will be many times when you will feel like all is hopeless and even be tempted into giving up…but so long as you remember the feeling you just experienced, the desire to control your fate and to protect the mon you love…than everything will turn out all right. And how can I doubt it, when I have seen it with my own eyes?"

"I…I don't understand," the confused Rui stammered. "You say one thing, then another, and another! You string us along, saying we can choose our fate but then acting as if everything went according to plan! What…what the hell are you trying to pull?"

Paradox smiled sadly. "If I have harmed you and manipulated you, I am sorry…but there was no other way that I could see to obtain the results I hoped for and awaken the power within you. I hope that one day you will be able to forgive me…but that day is not now. Farewell, Rui. Until we meet again!" A Future Power energy ball appeared behind Rui and shot towards her. Sensing it, she quickly leaped out of the way, allowing Paradox to sink into time portal she opened in the floor and disappear, the energy ball blowing it up before Rui could follow after her.

"No! Come back!" Rui shouted futilely. She Dug frantically at the ground where Paradox had disappeared, but naturally found nothing. "You can't just run off like that and leave me with more questions than answers!"

"Apparently, she can," Wes grumbled as he stalked over. "Lousy time travelers…"

"Huh? Wes, you're all right!" Rui cried in relief and surprise, seeing the Espeon had been healed as good as new.

"All the wounds she inflicted on me mended while you had her pinned down…it felt like they were reversing, being rewound out of existence or something," Wes said. "It looks like the same thing happened to you, too."

"Huh?" Rui glanced down at herself in surprise and realized Wes was right, all her injuries were gone. "She healed…both of us? But why?"

"She said killing us was never her intent…and that this was all a test or something…" Wes said uncertainly. "I think she was trying to make you use Aura somehow…could that be why she behaved and spoke the way she did? To get a rise out of you and make you do…that?"

"I…guess," Rui said uneasily. "Then does that mean we've played right into her hands after all, despite all our talk of fighting fate and making our own future?"

Wes shrugged. "Hell if I know. Damn time travelers...oh well, at least you've made a breakthrough of sorts with your Aura training. Aaron'll be pleased. That power you used was incredible!" He blushed. "And…kind of hot…"

Rui giggled. "Oh, you flatterer…well, I guess that's _one_ good thing that came out of this mess. I don't suppose we've seen the last of her, huh?"

"No, considering she's right over there, talking to that Aeon guy," Wes said.

Rui whirled around in surprise to see that the pink Celebi was hovering next to the Dusknoir, with Team Ebony nowhere in sight. "What the…she just warped a few meters over?"

"She could have traveled to another time and back for all we know," Wes pointed out. "Either way, she's still here, so maybe we can wrangle some answers out of her. Think you can generate another blast like that one you used before?"

Rui narrowed her eyes. "We'll know soon enough…c'mon!" They ran for the time travelers.

"Shouldn't you have let them out of there by now?" Paradox asked, pointing to the Dusknoir's stomach. "They've been in there long enough already. You're supposed to be strengthening them, not killing them."

"I will let them out when they are ready, and not a moment sooner," Aeon said.

"Hey! Get back here! We aren't through with you yet!" Wes snarled as he and Rui approached.

"You've got a lot of explaining to do!" Rui growled in agreement.

"And that moment is now," Aeon said, opening the mouth in his chest and expelling Edgar and Spite from the negative universe inside his body, causing them to crash into Wes and Rui and bowl them all over.

"Ow…you know, even though we can't see the future or travel through time, we really should have seen that coming," Wes groaned.

Rui started in amazement. "Wes, what…what's happened to them? Their Auras look…_weird…_"

Wes sighed. "Rui, you know I can't see Aura-" He paused and did a double take. "But I don't need it to tell me that something is very wrong here…"

Team Ebony looked…_different._ For one thing, they had evolved from a Murkrow and a Shuppet to a Honchkrow and Banette respectively. For another, their naturally black bodies had become blacker than black, voids of color that seemed to consume all light…and weirdly enough, stars could be faintly seen in their feathers and ectoplasm if you looked hard enough, which Wes and Rui tried not to, because it made their eyes hurt. And for _another_ thing…Edgar and Spite seemed to have completely lost their minds.

"D-dark…dark…s-s-so v-v-very d-d-d-d-dark…where…where is the light? Wh-where is th-th-the li-hi-hi-hight?" Edgar whimpered, trembling all over, a faraway look in his eyes.

Spite rocked on the floor, hands wrapped around his knees as his eyes darted all over the place. "Blood…death…war…turmoil…blood…suffering…torment…hatred…blood…murder…rape…violence…blood…pain…anguish…screaming…blood…blood…_blood…_"

"…You know, it's probably a good thing I can't read their minds, I'm not sure I want to see what's in there," said a disturbed Wes.

"You could read Spite's mind," Rui said.

"Yes, but I would really rather not," Wes said.

Paradox glared at Aeon angrily. "You were supposed to strengthen them, not break them!"

"They are stronger," Aeon said. "Their minds will heal. Eventually."

Paradox growled. "Ugh! Its times like this I wonder why we ever let you on the team. In so many ways, you haven't changed a bit from how you were before!"

"I do what is necessary to achieve our goals," he said.

"So do I, but there's a difference between 'necessary' and 'utter cruelty,'" Paradox countered. "Being willing to do bad things for a good reason doesn't make you a greater hero!"

Aeon shrugged. "I never said I was a hero."

"What did you do to them?" Wes demanded angrily.

"As Temporal Knights, it is our duty to police the flow of time and delete any timeline that becomes so horrible and dangerous that it threatens to destroy itself and all around it," Aeon said. "But that which is created can never be entirely destroyed. The memory or echo of those timelines still remains…inside of me. I contain them within myself, so that they may cause no harm to others…unless I wish it, that is, as I did with Team Ebony."

"Whoa…" Rui murmured.

"Wait, you're saying that hundreds-" Wes started.

"_Millions_," Aeon corrected.

"Right, _millions_ of timelines are contained inside your body? How do they fit?" Wes asked.

Aeon responded by opening his mouth and allowing them to see what was inside. As Wes and Rui stared into the abyss and the abyss stared back, Edgar and Spite started thrashing wildly, the whites of their eyes showing as they screamed, "THE DARK! THE DARK! THE DAAAAAAAAAAARK!" at the top of their lungs.

"Ah," Wes said faintly. "I guess that explains it."

Aeon closed his mouth, and Edgar and Spite fell silent, sagging in relief. "Such despair and agony…such rage and hatred…how can you bear it all?" Rui wondered in astonishment.

Wes nodded. "I could feel it even standing way out here. That's _really_ messed up."

"It is my burden to bear, and one I have grown used to," Aeon said.

"It doesn't look like Edgar and Spite grew used to it," Rui commented, glancing sympathetically at the broken Pokémon shivering nearby. "Why did you put them in there?"

"Partly to strengthen their resolve. After everything they underwent in there, observing billions of years of terror and suffering-" Aeon started.

"Billions? But they can't have been in there for more than a few minutes!" Wes protested.

"They weren't. But time is relative, and sometimes what was only a few moments can feel like it's much, _much_ longer," Aeon said. "And after all the time they spent inside of me, witnessing the absolute worst that can happen to or be done by any person…even if the Ruler of Evil were to walk up to them and ask for some spare change, they would be so far beyond horror even _that_ being would not frighten them."

"That…makes a bizarre amount of sense," Wes admitted. "Except that it's insane and amoral!"

"Perhaps, but there was another reason I did it," Aeon said, throwing a Shadow Punch at them.

Wes and Rui stiffened, preparing to repel the attack…only to be surprised when it vanished right before their eyes. "Huh? Where'd it go?" Wes asked.

Rui gasped in understanding. "Not where…when!" This statement was proven accurate when the Shadow Punch reappeared right before them…

And was deflected by a flick of Edgar's wing, which rose up without his volition. He blinked, startled out of his terror. "H-huh? Wh-what did I just…"

Aeon threw a few more Shadow Punches, which also vanished. As if on autopilot, Edgar and Spite's wings and claws flew through the air, striking nothing. Or were they? "I don't understand…" said a confused Wes. "They aren't hitting anything!"

"They are," Aeon said. "In the past."

"The past?" Rui asked in puzzlement.

"I threw those Shadow Punches into the past…which is exactly where your friends' attacks intercepted them. Their time inside of me has granted Edgar and Spite a power similar to mine…to cast attacks back and forth in time, and to detect when someone is trying to assault them in the past or future so they can counter it," the Dusknoir explained.

Wes blinked. "Then…when they were flailing about, they were deflecting punches you threw at their past selves?"

"Precisely," Aeon said.

"Wow. That's actually a pretty cool talent," Rui admitted.

"Yes, but did you have to drive them _insane_ to teach it to them?" Wes demanded.

"Yes," Aeon said.

"…What, seriously?" Wes asked skeptically.

"It was either that or take them out of this era so they could train under Master Diagla in déjà-fu for a million years…and at the moment, we honestly don't have time for that," Aeon said.

"Don't have…but you're time travelers! You can _make_ time!" Wes protested.

"Yes, but Master Dialga's also booked solid for the next several billion years both forward and back, so it would have been a bit difficult to squeeze in a lesson for them," Paradox said, causing the Eon couple to sweatdrop. "But even so, you went too far, Aeon. You didn't need to traumatize them to that extent to give them the power!"

"Isn't that what you did to us?" Wes asked.

Paradox hesitated, looking uncertain. "…No. It wasn't as bad as what he did…was it?"

"Perhaps not, but the troubles to come are bad enough to break the minds of most mortal Pokémon. After seeing the timelines relegated to the darkness within me, however…I doubt they will fear anything ever again. And if, the next time we meet, they should wish to revenge themselves on me, I will welcome it. I have earned their ire, and deserve any wrath they can bring against me," Aeon said amiably. "But that day…is not today." A dark purple time portal opened behind him, and he vanished into it before anyone could stop him.

Paradox snarled. "Ugh, that…! Sorry about him. He's not very good at being a team player. Then again, he's got so much evil caged inside of him I suppose there's no room left in his heart for kindness and mercy. At least he seems to be coping better than the _last_ guy who had his job."

"Why, what happened to the last guy?" Rui asked.

"Oh, the usual. Went insane and tried to devour all of time and space," Paradox said, causing them to sweatdrop. "I should go after him, especially since our business here isn't quite concluded. But first…" She glanced at Rui, her eyes flashing green.

Rui gasped in pain. "Ah!"

"What did you do to her?" Wes demanded angrily.

"Relax, all I did was give her the knowledge of how to use her burgeoning Aura skills to heal the minds of those two," Paradox said, gesturing to the gibbering Edgar and Spite.

"Uhhh…she's right. I…I know how to do it!" Rui said in surprise.

"But…how? Rui's a Dark-type, you can't have psychically implanted it in her head!" said the confused Wes.

"I didn't. I used my control over time to grab the knowledge from the mind of Rui in the future and drag it back to the Rui of the present, so that she can know it in the future and give it to her past self in a time loop," Paradox said.

"…But…but then where did the knowledge come from in the first place?" Wes protested, starting to get a headache.

"You probably shouldn't think too hard about it," Paradox advised. "Anyway, I've got to go, though I'll be seeing you again soon…in _your_ terms, anyway, and hopefully it'll be on more congenial grounds. It must be so strange for people like you, forced to experience time linearly. How can you possibly stand it?" She flew into the portal and vanished before they could reply.

Wes's eye twitched. "You know, I'm really starting to dislike those guys…"

Speaking of which, Team Frontier was beginning to dislike the enraged Tyranitar Billy, who was stomping and thrashing and blasting all over the place, not seeming to care that he could bring the whole cave down on them. "That idiot! He doesn't seem to care that he could bring the whole cave down on us!" Atlas complained as he smashed another falling boulder away with his fists.

"We have to take him out and fast, before the roof collapses!" Samantha agreed, grabbing boulders in her horns with Stockpile and firing them back at Billy with Spit Up.

Billy smashed the blast away with his tail. "I will destroy you all!" he roared, opening his jaws and firing a Hyper Beam at them.

The trio scattered to the sides, allowing the beam to fly past them and smash into the wall. "Hit him hard! Hit him with everything you've got!" Atlas growled as he charged towards the Tyranitar, muscles bulging up to ridiculous proportions as he used Bulk Up. Billy snarled and stomped on the ground, creating an Earthquake that tore the ground as he tried to knock Atlas off balance. The Machoke—and Mac, who was running alongside him—just hopped from jutting piece of rock to jutting piece of rock, too used to fighting on uneven terrain to be bothered by tricks like these. Billy growled and summoned Stone Edge rocks to fling at them, but Atlas crossed his arms in front of him to protect himself from the sharp stones while Mac smashed the rest with rapid Mach Punches and Samantha, who was following at a more sedate pace since she wasn't nearly as fast as the other two, Swallowed whatever flew towards her to recover some of her health. Frustrated, Billy again fired Hyper Beam, figuring since they were that much closer now he'd be guaranteed a hit.

He was wrong. Atlas ran right into the beam, using his Cross Chop to split the beam into pieces that blasted past him and smashed into the ground. As Billy gawked in disbelief, Atlas jumped into the air and sailed towards him, drawing back his hand to deliver a devastating DynamicPunch. Billy roared and brought his arm up in a Shadow Claw, their fists colliding with an impact that shook the cavern. Energy crackled around their arms as they struggled against each other, each trying to push the other back. Trying to help out, Mac fired Seed Bombs at Billy's chest and Samantha screamed at him with Astonish. The blasts exploded against Billy's chest and caused him to flinch, but he used the power of Payback to channel Dark power into his fist from the pain of their attacks, pushing harder and harder against Atlas. Seeing he was about to be overwhelmed, the Machoke had no choice but to use his last resort…

And no, it wasn't the move Last Resort, Machokes can't use that anyway. It was the awesome SuperPower! His eyes bulging out of their sockets, Atlas roared as his muscles bulked up _again,_ making him look ludicrously overmuscled as his belt and the red stripes on his limbs on his limbs started glowing. As Billy's eyes widened in astonishment, Atlas pushed at him with all the strength in his body…and considering Atlas was a Machoke, that was quite a lot of strength indeed! Knocking Billy's fist aside, Atlas delivered a blow to the Tyranitar's jaw so powerful it whipped his head back, knocked him off his feet, and even dislodged a few teeth. Billy hit the ground hard enough to crater it, and Atlas landed on the ground with a smirk…that quickly turned into a look of exhaustion as he bent over and put his hands on his knees, panting and sweating as his muscles returned to their usual size. Using Bulk Up in addition to SuperPower always took a lot out of him.

Unfortunately, it hadn't taken quite enough out of Billy. Eyes flashing with rage, the Tyranitar got back up, jaws opening with a tremendous roar as he prepared to crush the tired and defenseless Machoke standing helplessly before him…

Only for Samantha's horns to lock around his ankle with Vicegrip, causing him to howl in pain. "Mac, hit him, now!" the Mawile screamed.

"Got it!" Mac shouted as he dashed forwards, drawing back his fist, which started to glow. "Staaaar…" He leaped into the air when he reached the Tyranitar, driving his fist into the underside of Billy's jaw with a stunning uppercut. "UPPERCUT!"

Billy roared in pain as he tumbled backwards, Samantha letting go of his ankle and causing him to hit the ground again with a mighty tremor. Mac landed neatly next to Atlas, grinning triumphantly…until Samantha said, "That was _Sky_ Uppercut, not Star Uppercut. There's no such thing as a move with that name."

"Not in _our_ world there isn't," Mac said stiffly. "But the main character of this cool boxing series I like who has the same name as me has a special attack just like that."

Samantha rolled her eyes. "Mac, you're not a video game character."

"It's not about being a video game character, it's about being a boxer named 'Mac!'" he snapped, causing the Mawile to sweatdrop and Atlas to laugh.

"Regardless of what its real name is, it's a nice move, Mac. Use it as much as you like," Atlas said with a grunt as he stood back up, catching his breath.

"Thanks, Atlas!" Mac smirked at Samantha, who rolled her eyes. They both started when Billy groaned and began to stir.

"Oh, come on! He's still not out yet?" Samantha cried in disbelief.

"He will be soon enough," Atlas said with resolve as he walked towards Billy, who was trying to get back to his feet. He knocked the Tyranitar back to the ground with a Rolling Kick and quickly ran around behind him to grab his tail. "Mac, give me a helping hand, I'm too weak right now to do this on my own!"

"Right!" the Breloom paused. "Uh, do you mean the attack, or that you actually want me to come over there and-"

"The attack! Quickly!" the Machoke snapped.

"Right, just checking!" Mac said. He concentrated, and a bolt of blue electricity leaped off of his body and struck Atlas, powering him up.

The Machoke sighed in relief as he felt himself getting stronger again. "That's more like it…"

"Rrrggh…let…go…" Billy grunted.

"Oh, I will…" Atlas said with a chuckle. "Though you might wish I hadn't in a moment!"

Billy blinked. "Huh? What are you-"

"GrrrrrAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Atlas cried, using Bulk Up to increase his strength yet again. He dug his heels into the ground and twisted about, yanking Billy off the floor by his tail. As the Tyranitar shouted in alarm, Atlas spun in place, whirling Billy around him at faster and faster speeds, until the Tyranitar thought he was going to puke. He didn't get the chance, however, because with a mighty Seismic Toss Atlas flung the Tyranitar away, Billy screaming as he flew across the cavern.

"Whoa! Nice one!" Mac shouted gleefully.

"You never fail to impress, Atlas," Samantha said. "But where's he going to land?"

Atlas grinned, the weary Machoke wiping some sweat from his brow. "Oh, don't worry…I've taken that into consideration…"

Not too far away, a worn-out Rosa and Clyde faced off. "Huff…huff…you're…a lot more persistent than I expected…" the Slaking grunted.

"Si…and you have lasted…much longer than _I_ had expected," Rosa panted. "Hmm…does that mean you have the stamina to keep up with me, the _inestimable hermoso_ Rosa?"

"I told you, lady…I already have a girlfriend!" Clyde snarled.

"So? That's rarely been an issue before. Sometimes they even join in," Rosa said with a flirtatious wink. "Of course, I'm not sure you'll be able to do anything like that if you don't get those _cojones_ of yours looked at. I don't think they should be that color, should they?"

"They're that color because you poisoned them!" Clyde snapped. "If I have to get them chopped off because of you, I'll make sure you'll regret it for the rest of your life!"

"I already regret touching them. They're so _frío y húmedo_. I'm amazed this girlfriend of yours—_if_ she exists—can stand them," Rosa quipped.

Clyde's face turned red with anger. "All right, that's it! I've had enough of you and your innuendo and your creepy attempts at seduction! This ends now! Rrrraaaahhh-"

The Hyper Beam he was charging got interrupted when a wailing Billy slammed into him, knocking the Slaking off his feet and sending him flying through the air alongside the Tyranitar. Rosa blinked. "Huh. Well, that was _muy conviente._" She shrugged. "Ah, well. Time to go find Zoro and see if I can't make him and that sexy Grovyle make out. That should be fun…"

Nearby, a badly burned and exhausted Lobo Fuerte and El Toro panted and sweated as the heat rolling off of Tiffany's blazing form washed over them. "I…I do not think…I can go on much longer, mi amigo…" the Mightyena moaned.

"This is all…your fault…if you hadn't said she looked like my sister…she might not have gotten so angry!" El Toro grunted.

"It was a compliment! Your sister is very pretty!" Lobo protested. El Toro growled. "Er, not that I've ever done anything with her. I was just saying."

"You won't be saying anymore once I'm through with you! This last Eruption will turn you into ashes! Mrrrrgggghhh…" Tiffany gritted her teeth, her eyes bulging as the volcanoes on her back started rumbling ominously. Lobo and El Toro tensed, fearing that this was the end…

Until the screaming Billy and Clyde fell from the air and landed on top of the Camerupt, by a remarkably convenient coincidence plugging her volcanic humps with their heads. Tiffany gasped in horror as her body started trembling and bulging up. "No, you idiots! Without anywhere to go, all the fire and lava inside of me's going to explode!"

El Toro and Lobo exchanged alarmed looks. "Explode? I do not like the sound of that," the Mightyena said.

"Neither do I. RUUUUUUUUUUUUN!" El Toro shouted.

They started to make a dash for it, only to be knocked head over heels when Tiffany exploded in a tremendous conflagration, shaking the cavern violently and sending magma bombs flying everywhere. One of the bombs landed on Lobo's tail, causing him to scream as it was set on fire and run around in a panic. "Aiiiiie! My tail is on fire! My tail is on fire!" El Toro stomped on his tail, putting out the flames. "My tail is being Stomped on! My tail is being Stomped on!" Lobo sobbed, finding something new to complain about. El Toro sweatdropped.

"I hate you guys," Tiffany, black and sizzling all over, moaned to her dazed and equally smoking brothers. "I wish Mom had had more daughters instead of sons."

"We're all adopted," Clyde pointed out.

"I repeat, I wish Mom had had more daughters instead of sons," Tiffany said flatly.

Not too far away, Gonzap and Garret glared at each other in frustration. Their metallic hides were covered in several scratches and dents, but neither of them had managed to significantly harm the other. If anything, they were growing more tired from their attempts to hurt each other than from actual battle damage. "All right," Gonzap said wearily. "Let's try this again."

"Ugh…do we have to?" Garret groaned.

"One of us has to win this, and I refuse to let it be a tie!" Gonzap said firmly.

Garret sighed in exasperation and clenched his pincers. "All right, let's get this over with…"

"On three," said Gonzap, bracing himself for the next clash. "One…two…thre-"

Abruptly, a lava bomb fell out of the sky and struck Garret, causing him to burst into flames and run off screaming. Gonzap blinked. "Huh. Well, that was convenient."

"OH ARCEUS! IT BURNS! IT BUUUUUUUUUUURNS!" Garret screamed in agony.

"Well of course it does, its fire! What did you expect it to do?" Gonzap snarked. "Huh, kids these days, don't even know basic elemental reactions-" He was interrupted when a lava bomb fell on him, setting him ablaze. "GAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! THE PAAAAAAAAAIIIIIN!"

"NOW YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL!" Garret screamed.

"!" Gonzap shrieked.

"!" Garret howled.

"!" they both yelled.

Across the cavern, similar battles were drawing to a close. The majority of the Rocket Grunts had been knocked out and were lying on the floor in various states of unconsciousness while the last few groups still standing desperately fought with all the strength left in their bodies against the vastly superior Draconian soldiers. Needless to say, it wasn't going well for them.

The only one left who was putting up a significant fight was Crono, the Grovyle swordsmon. Zoro, despite his best efforts, was finding his opponent to be one of the toughest Pokémon he had ever fought. And the Grovyle wasn't even fighting at full power! _Can I truly hope to defeat him?_ The Meowth wondered as he and Crono locked blades again and again. _Perhaps not…but I can certainly try!_ With a cry, he clashed his sword against Crono's and released a Thunderbolt. Temporal energies surged up the Grovyle's sword and repelled the electricity, knocking Zoro back. Crono lunged forwards to try and deliver yet another scar to the growing collection on the Meowth's body that had always been there—or at least, had always been there since the fight started—but Zoro backflipped into a handstand and swung up an Iron Tail, knocking the blade back. As Crono staggered, Zoro flipped back onto his feet and lashed out with his sword, flinging an electrically-charged Vacuum-Cut at the Grovyle's face. Crono dodged to the side as he always did, using his mastery over time to anticipate the attack…

But even so, he didn't move quickly enough to keep from getting hit by the edge of the energy wave, slicing open a small cut on his cheek. "Ah…so you've drawn blood at last," Crono commented, touching the small wound in surprise.

Zoro smirked. "It took me longer than I expected, but I had to pay you back for all the scars you've given me…even though they've always been here…I think…" Abruptly, Zoro lunged forward, thrusting his sword out in a direct stab. Crono backflipped out of the way, the long leaf growing from the back of his head smacking into Zoro's face and knocking him back as the Grovyle landed and spewed Bullet Seeds at him. Zoro's sword danced through the air to deflect the seeds before he fired another Thunderbolt at the Grovyle. Crono rolled out of the way and came up in a crouch, lashing out with his sword and sending a wave of temporal energy at Zoro. Zoro countered with a Vacuum-Cut, but much to his surprise his energy blade was swallowed up by the temporal blast and erased from existence. He spent a split second wondering why he hadn't tried using a Vacuum-Cut to counter the attack, realized he must have but had forgotten about it due to the time warping, and desperately lunged to the side to keep from being bisected by the energy blade. He survived unscathed…

His whiskers, on the other hand, did not. "My whiskers!" he cried in horror, feeling the side of his face and finding that the two on his left cheek had been sheared off. "What have you done?"

Crono smirked. "Weren't they always like that?"

Zoro's memory attempted to reassert itself and assure him that they always had, but he furiously fought it back down, arguing that he would never groom himself in a manner that would cause his face to look so asymmetrical. "Do you have any idea how much time I spend caring for those? My whiskers are one of my proudest features! (And Rosa likes them quite a lot, too.)"

"They'll grow back," Crono said.

"Yes, in several months! And until then, I'll have to go around looking like I had a shaving accident and don't know how to groom myself properly! This is _imperdonable!_ Prepare to die!" Zoro declared, his claws extending as he charged forward furiously. Seeing he was serious, Crono chuckled, the leaves on his right arm glowing and combining into a Leaf Blade. He lunged forward to meet the Meowth, his blades flashing through the air and connecting with Zoro's sword and claws. The cry of steel against steel rang through the air as the two swordsmon battled each other, sword striking sword and claw striking blade that wasn't quite a sword. Zoro's claws, rather than being severed on Crono's Leaf Blade like one might expect, were standing up pretty well, and actually managed to leave quite a few scratches on the Grovyle's arm weapon. His whiskers weren't the only part of his body Zoro spent lots of time grooming carefully, after all!

Crossing his swords over his chest, Crono hopped back and started charging an Energy Ball. Zoro fired a Thunderbolt at him to try and destroy it, but Crono slashed his blades out in front of him to deflect the bolt then spat the Energy Ball at the Meowth. Zoro rolled forwards and underneath the Energy Ball, tearing off his cape in the process and flinging it at Crono. The Grovyle slashed it in two with his blade and struck at the Meowth on the other side…only for it to pass through a Double Team illusion. He quickly leaped back as another Meowth dropped from the sky, thrusting his sword at it as it landed…only for that feline to dissipate as well. More Zoros appeared all around him, and lunged at him with yowling battle cries. Crono spun in a circle, blades extended to destroy the illusions…

All except one, the true Zoro, who dove under the spinning strike and thrust his sword upwards, cutting through Crono's Leaf Blade and severing it. The Grovyle looked in surprise at his arm and the ragged leaves now growing from it as Zoro grinned. "Now I am not the only one who is asymmetrical!" the Meowth taunted.

"…Heh. You truly have earned your reputation as one of the greatest swordsmons of all time," Crono chuckled. He slashed his sword through the air, driving Zoro back. "Let's end this."

"All right with me," Zoro said with a smirk, hopping back several feet. Both combatants held their swords out to the side, channeling their respective energies into them until the blades flashed brilliantly. With a cry, they charged towards each other, swords flashing as they rose up, collided, and parted, the two warriors skidding to a halt with their backs turned to each other.

There was a pause, and then Crono grunted and fell to one knee, clutching the bleeding wound on his arm in pain. Zoro smirked…until his sword shattered. "Wh-what? My sword!"

"Sorry," Crono apologized as he got back to his feet, already using his time power to rewind the damage on his arm so it was as if it had never happened. "There are few blades in this world that can withstand a sword made with Dialga's blessing. Yours held up admirably…but in the end, it wasn't strong enough."

"But…but this…" Zoro fell to his knees, staring at the glittering shards littering the ground in shock. "This was…my father's sword…and his father's, and his father's, and his, going back for generations…the great sword of LaMancha…and now it is…gone…" He sagged in despair, eyes brimming with tears. "My home…my people…my heritage…I…I have failed them all…I have brought dishonor upon the Zoro name. There can be no forgiveness for this transgression!"

"Not necessarily," Crono said. He pulled the twig he had been chewing out of his mouth and drew a counter-clockwise circle in the air with it.

To Zoro's astonishment, the blade fragments on the ground shuddered and flew up into the air, reversing the event that had shattered them and fusing together to recreate his sword. "My sword!" he cried in delight, snatching up the blade. "You fixed it!"

Crono nodded. "Yours is a very storied weapon, and its legend has not yet reached its end…and neither has yours. You and your blade have much fighting left to do before the story of Zoro, hero of LaMancha, runs its course."

"…I see. Thank you," Zoro said as he rose to his feet. "I will do my best to live up to your expectations of me."

Crono smirked and put his twig back in his mouth. "I know you will. After all, isn't your tale written for all to know of?"

"Not yet, it's not," Zoro said.

"Perhaps not, but it will be," Crono said.

Zoro smiled. "I hope that is true…and that the actions you are taking will allow for such a story to become known to all, rather than only bringing disaster."

"You forget…we have mastery over time. We already _know_ how this will end," Crono said.

Zoro raised an eyebrow. "Oh? And how _is_ it going to end?"

Crono chuckled. "Like I'm going to spoil the fun?"

A time portal opened, and Paradox and Aeon appeared. "Speaking of fun," the Celebi said. "I think we've had our fair share here, and it's time to get going. We've accomplished what we came here to do, and now we have a Tyranitar to deliver to Giovanni."

"Oh no you don't!" Wes shouted as he and the rest of the Rescue Teams and Draconian soldiers ran up to rejoin Zoro. "You aren't going anywhere!"

"All your lackeys have been defeated! Now it's time you give us some answers!" Rui agreed.

"No, I don't think we will," Aeon said. Paradox gestured, and a time portal appeared overhead and all the attacks that had been flung at Team Quantum when they first appeared flew out of the portal and blasted the allied Pokémon. As they cried in pain and surprise, Paradox conjured up several dozen more time portals, which swallowed up the unconscious Rocket Grunts, the Go-Rock Quads, and even T-Bone. "Goodbye." The Dusknoir floated back into the portal.

"Until next time," Paradox said, flying after him.

"And there _will_ be a next time, I can promise you that," Crono said, passing through the portal and disappearing as well. The gateway closed, leaving the cave empty save for the Rescue Teams and soldiers.

There was a long pause as they struggled to realize that they had been outmaneuvered and their entire mission was a failure. Gonzap summed up everyone's feelings on the matter by shouting, "ARCEUSDAMMIT!"

Wes groaned. "This is why I hate time travelers…"

Meanwhile, further down inside the mountain…

The Draconians cheered as yet another egg crumbled into the lava, its contents spilling out and melting into the molten rock. "Good job, mons!" Morty shouted. "Just one more to go!"

"Yes, but it'sss _our_ egg!" King said in alarm from where he and the rest of Teams AWD, Charm, and Raider stood on top of the final Devil Golem egg. "How are we sssupposssed to get down?"

"Or distract Groudon from attacking you?" Gallant said. The chained god bellowed furiously as if to emphasize this, and swatted at some of the dragons, nearly knocking them into the lava.

"…This could be a problem," Morty muttered.

"Well, if we are to do something, it must be quickly!" Master Yamiri cried, pointing at the egg. The creature inside was thrashing about wildly, and the shell was cracking. "The Golem is about to hatch! If even _one_ of them survives, it could cause untold destruction!"

"Right, here's what we're going to do," Morty said, coming to a decision. "Mons, it looks like we're going to get a chance to win some glory by fighting our liege's ancient foe after all. Left flank, attack Groudon to draw his attention away. I don't want any pointless or suicidal heroics, just keep him distracted! Right flank, get those Teams off that egg. Everyone else, get your lances into position before that thing hatches, I don't want it to see the light of day!"

"Sir, yes sir!" his troops shouted, splitting up to do as they were bid. Several dragons started circling Groudon, firing Hyper Beams and Dragon Pulses and the like at the crimson titan to draw his ire. Growling furiously, Groudon swiped at them with his claws, but the smaller and more maneuverable Pokémon always managed to fly out of range. Irritated, he started charging up to fire a Solarbeam that would wipe several of them out…

But Master Yamiri hurled a Power Gem into the beast's mouth, causing an explosion that made Groudon bellow in pain. "I shall assist as well!" the Sableye shouted, impressing the soldiers as he started banging on Groudon's head with his mace. "Let it not be said that when others were fighting and giving their lives, that I remained where it was safe!"

"Wow. No wonder this guy reached the Master rank," a Gastly commented in admiration as Yamiri darted around Groudon's head, ignoring the deity's enraged swipes and firing Dark Pulses which blistered his armored skull.

"If I were a less devout Draconian, I'd convert in a heartbeat," a Dragonite agreed. The others glared at him. "I said _if_. I'm happy with my religion," he said quickly.

As the Draconians harried Groudon, a trio of transport dragons alighted on the top of the Devil Golem egg while Morty guided the rest of his mons to the weak spots in the eggshell. "Get on, we don't have much time left!" a Duskull shouted as cracks started zigzagging across the shell beneath the Rescue Teams' feet.

"Don't need to tell us twice," Reg said, eagerly climbing on board an obliging Salamence.

"You do realize we can Teleport, right?" Melodi said as she and the rest of Team Charm embarked onto a Garchomp.

"_You_ can, but I can't," Lady said from the neighboring Charizard. "So long as it gets us off this abomination before it hatches and kills us all, I'm not complaining."

The dragons spread their wings and took off just as the cracks widened and eerie and corrosive fluids started welling up from within. Further down, Morty had organized his forces and, when he gave the signal, they drove their lances through the cracks in the eggshell and into the monster's hide. It shrieked in pain and rage, and started thrashing harder, spreading the cracks and forcing the dragons to hold onto the lances in alarm to make sure they weren't pushed out. Some of the monster's tentacles writhed and lashed out, smashing through weak areas in the shell and flailing angrily through the air, batting at the surprised Ghosts who were hovering about and trying to dislodge the dragons that were irritating it. "Get those vials of holy water in!" Morty shouted, firing Night Shade beams from his eyes and causing a tentacle that had been about to strike at him to recoil in pain. "We don't have much time left!"

Panicking due to the pressure and the very real danger of the tentacles swinging about, the desperate attacks of the Draconians doing little more than stinging them, a Charmeleon who had been assigned the duty of carrying his squad's holy water fumbled with his vial as he got it out of his pouch and tried to get it into the open lance shaft, nearly dropping it more than a few times. Finally managing to get a good grip on it, he prepared to put it in the open slot…

And a tentacle whipped down and grabbed him around the waist, yanking him up and away with a scream of terror. As his friends stared up at him in horror, he desperately threw the vial towards them. "Forget about me!" he shouted as the tentacle bashed him against the side of the egg. "Get that thing in! It's all that matters!"

"There'll be no talk like that on my watch, soldier!" Morty shouted as he fired Night Shades at the tentacle and several other soldiers started bombarding it, trying to get it to loosen its hold on the poor Charmeleon. "You'll live to get a medal, or I'm resigning my commission!" He glanced down at an Altaria that had managed to catch the vial of water and was staring anxiously at the battle. "What are you waiting for? Get that water where it belongs! We're almost out of time!"

The Altaria yelped and saluted. "S-sir, yes sir!" She quickly swooped down on the lance as the rest of her squad and the Dragonite they were riding kept pushing on the lance, trying to keep the Devil Golem's anguished shaking from dislodging it. She dropped the vial into the open slot, and a Gible gladly slammed it into place, injecting the blessed fluid into the beast.

The Devil Golem screamed in fury as the rest of the soldiers sent their vials flowing down their lances and into its body as well. The tentacle gripping the Charmeleon let go, and the Flame Pokémon began falling towards the lava, but a Gabite managed to swoop down and grab him before he could drop too far. "Get back! It's gonna blow!" Morty yelled in alarm as more and more cracks formed in the eggshell.

They gladly withdrew as the tormented Devil Golem flexed its limbs, causing the shell to shatter in a tremendous explosion that sent fragments flying everywhere, knocking a couple of dragons from the air and causing them to plummet into the lava, dragging their crews down with them. As Morty gasped in horror at their deaths, the monster rose up before them in all its glory, tentacles and many claws bared as it opened its numerous mouths and roared loudly enough to give even Groudon pause. _We were too late,_ Morty thought bleakly. _The Golem's matured too much. The holy water had no effect. We're done for. Sweet Dragon God-King, we've _failed…

The Devil Golem lunged forward…and began to melt. It looked at its dissolving form in horror and desperately clawed at the sloughing parts of its body, trying to put them back in place, but then its claws started coming apart as well and then it had nothing to grab with at all. Roaring with rage and defiance and terror, the beast sank into the lava, its gruesome mass dissipating into the liquid rock, the myriad souls making up its form flying out moments later and soaring to freedom, leaving the familiar feelings of joy and gratitude in their wake. Morty and the rest of his mons sighed in relief. "Wow…I almost didn't think we'd make it for a second…"

"I never doubted we would succeed," Master Yamiri said, drifting over.

"Because your faith was so strong?" Morty asked.

The Sableye nodded. "That, and Sabrina told me before we left that we would win."

Morty sweatdropped. "What, really? Why didn't anyone tell us that, then?"

"Because you might have become complacent and overconfident, and thus opened yourself to ruin," Yamiri said. Groudon bellowed angrily to remind them he was there. "And speaking of ruin, perhaps we should get out of here before he does the same to us."

"Sounds like a good idea to me. Everyone, fall back, we're getting out of here!" Morty shouted.

The soldiers that had been harrying Groudon reluctantly withdrew. "But sir, we aren't done!" a Charizard protested.

"Yeah, we haven't defeated the evil god!" a Gengar agreed.

"Our mission wasn't to defeat Groudon, but to destroy the Devil Golem eggs, which we've succeeded in doing," Morty said. "Now there's no reason for us to stay here."

"But…we can't leave Groudon in enemy hands!" a Dragonair cried.

"We're not going to. I expect Team Auraforce should defeat Gal any time now, after which Groudon shall be freed from his enslavement," Master Yamiri said. "However, he won't be very happy once he comes to his senses, and it would probably be a good idea for us to be far away from here when that happens."

"Especially since they're going to blow up the volcano!" Morty said. "Groudon'll be fine, but the blast should push him back underground and bury him beneath several million tons of rock, so we won't have to worry about him bothering us again for quite some time."

"Well, I guess, but…" a Shellgon said dubiously.

"It's not the same as winning glory by defeating the mighty Groudon?" Morty shrugged. "We're not in this for glory. We're here to do a job and get out in one piece. We've already suffered more casualties here than I'm comfortable with, and I don't want to lose anyone else to some foolish desire for fame and accolades! Is that clear?"

They nodded reluctantly. "Yes sir…"

Morty gave them a curt look. "Good. Everyone, move out!"

Groudon blinked in confusion when the puny Pokémon started flying away. Where were they going? He hadn't finished killing them yet! He tried to go after them, only to pull taut against his chains. Angry, he yanked at them, only to find himself still trapped in place, as he had been ever since he had arrived at Mt. Blaze. Furious, he summoned Lava Plumes, causing geysers of lava to erupt from the lake. This didn't have much effect, though, since the Draconians used evasive maneuvers to fly around the plumes, or, in the cases of the Ghosts, just phased through them. Outraged that they continued to escape him, Groudon opened his mouth and began charging a Solarbeam. Master Yamiri turned around, pulled out a Power Gem, charged it, threw it into the air, and swung his mace at it as it came back down, smacking it hard enough to send it flying across the lake and into Groudon's mouth, where it exploded. Groudon bellowed in pain as smoke and blood fell from his jaws, stunned long enough to allow the soldiers to reach the rest of their comrades on shore. "Are we all here?" Morty called as they landed.

"Everyone that's still alive, sir," a Misdreavus reported.

Morty growled when he saw how much smaller the group was than it had been starting out. True, they hadn't lost that many mons, but to Morty every soldier that didn't make it was a personal failure. "It'll have to do…" the Haunter said. "All right, let's evac before he recovers!"

Gallant tapped his badge. "Scotty, this is Gallant. Mission accomplished. The Devil Golems have been destroyed."

"_Good job, laddie! Is everyone with ye?"_ Scotty asked.

"We're all here," Grace said.

"Sssomehow…" King hissed.

"_All right. Hold on…beginning teleportation!"_

The air shimmered and they vanished in a flash of light. It was a shame, too…if they had been there a few moments longer, they might have seen Aaron smash through the ceiling and hit the ground hard enough to crater it. He managed to land feet-down and cushion his fall with blasts of Aura, but it hadn't been a pleasant descent by any meaning of the word. He grunted as he got to his feet, turning his head to notice Groudon staring at him. He frowned. "…I fell _this_ far?"

"And you shall farther still once I am through with you!" Gal roared as he fell through the hole Aaron had made, his form wreathed in flames as he shot towards the Lucario with a flaming kick that was not quite Blaze Kick since Infernapes can't learn Blaze Kick, not even ones fused to gods. (Well, they can by breeding, but that's a whole other kettle of Magikarp, and completely irrelevant to the present situation.) Aaron jumped out of the way as Gal landed with a tremendous explosion that sent the Lucario flying.

Aaron flipped over and landed to his feet, skidding to a halt and raising his staff before him just in time to block a powerful Hammer Arm from Gal. The blow still sent him skidding back a few feet, and rattled his bones. Gal lunged forward, fists flying as he sent a flurry of blows at Aaron with Mach Punch and Close Combat. The staff spun through the air at high speeds, catching and deflecting the punches as Aaron found himself pushed back closer and closer towards the edge of the lava pool. When the Lucario was only feet away from the lake, Gal grabbed the shaft of his staff with all his might and pushed at Aaron, trying to knock him in. Aaron channeled Aura into his staff, causing Gal's arms to burst into flames, but while the mutated Infernape grunted in pain, he kept pushing, Abyss-bent on killing the meddlesome Aura Guardian once and for all.

Fortunately for Aaron, it was at that point that the rest of Team Auraforce arrived, descending through the hole Aaron and Gal had made. "Hang on, Aaron! We're coming!" Raiki shouted from Charla's back.

"Think you can run away from me, huh? I'm not finished with you yet!" Charlie, who was being carried in his wife's arms, growled. When Charla's grip slipped and he almost fell, he yelped in alarm. "Ack! Charla, be careful!"

Charla gasped, sweat rolling down her face. "Charlie, honey, I don't think I can hold you for much longer…"

"Oh come on! I've lost a ton of weight!" Charlie protested. "Raiki, this is your fault!"

"Me?" Raiki protested.

"Yes, if you hadn't put on so many pounds eating your wife's cooking…" Charlie said.

"Oh come on! This isn't my fault!" Raiki protested.

"It doesn't matter whose fault it is, all I know is I can't hold Charlie much longer!" Charla snapped angrily.

"Then throw me towards Gal! I've got an idea…" Charlie said.

"All right," Charla said, mustering the strength in his arms and flinging him towards the struggling Pokémon below.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAL!" Charlie shouted as he shot down at the Monkey King.

Gal glanced up in surprise. "What, you again?"

"You didn't think you were through with me that easily, did ya?" Charlie laughed. Gal growled, then quickly let go of Aaron's staff and jumped out of the way. Aaron also leaped out of the way before Charlie could crash into him. The Charizard hit the ground, wincing in pain as the impact ran up his rather beaten legs and got worse as he slid into the lava pool. Gal laughed…

Until one of Charlie's chains, streaming out behind the Charizard as he skidded into the lava, caught around his neck. Gal gasped in pain and clutched his neck, struggling to breathe. Charlie grinned and used the momentum from his slide to yank on the chain, launching Gal into the air and sending him flying into the magma some distance away. "Ha! Hope you enjoy your bath, Gal! You really needed it!" Charlie taunted.

"Charlie, you realize he's not affected by lava, right?" Aaron asked as Charla and Raiki landed.

"Yes, but _I_ am, and boy does it feel refreshing to have a nice magma bath!" Charlie said, dunking his head in the molten rock briefly and shaking himself about, sending superhot droplets flying everywhere. "Ah, I feel better already!" The others sweatdropped.

Nobody was very surprised when the ground nearby exploded and a flaming Gal rose up. "Again, you strangle me with chains…again, you throw me into lava…and again, it does nothing!" the tyrant boasted. "When will you learn that I cannot be defeated? I am a GOD!"

"Groudon's a god too, but he was defeated before," Raiki pointed out.

"And he must have been beaten again too, if your Nihilator friends were able to subdue him and drag him here," Aaron said.

Charla nodded. "It seems like gods get defeated pretty often in these parts, come to think of it. If that's the standard you're going to compare yourself to, you don't really look so hot."

"Since when did he ever?" Charlie snorted as he waded out of the lava. "He's just your typical psychotic two-bit barbarian warlord with delusions of grandeur. And we all know what happens to _those_, right?"

"They get their asses kicked by dashing and devilishly handsome heroes," Raiki said with a smirk. Charla coughed. "Yes, that includes you, Charla. You're handsome, but not beautiful."

"…Should I be insulted or not?" asked the confused Charla.

"I'll be insulted on your behalf," Charlie offered.

"Eh, all right," she said.

Gal growled. "Prattle all you want, fools…your fate shall be the same, whether you face death with dignity or with silly jeers! You have lasted longer than I had expected…but can you handle the might of TWO gods?" He raised his left hand, the Red Orb beginning to glow. "Come, Groudon! Together, let us destroy those who would deny us our glory!" Groudon felt tingly all over. It was rather strange. His chains started glowing, and much to his surprise and delight, they disintegrated. He flexed his arms and legs cautiously, half-expecting his bonds to reappear. When they did not, he bellowed with joy that shook the cavern…and started stomping towards the shore of the lava lake and the tiny Pokémon waiting there, eager for something to eat. It seemed like so very long ago that he'd last been fed. (It had actually only been a couple of hours, but Groudon had never been good at telling time.)

Team Auraforce (and Charlie) exchanged horrified looks as Gal laughed malevolently and Groudon approached. "Whuh-oh," said Raiki.

"Aw, crap, not him again," Charlie groaned, remembering the last time he'd battled the deity.

"I'd hoped to get a piece of him…I just didn't know his pieces would be so _big,"_ murmured a distressed Charla.

"We cannot take on Gal and Groudon at once," Aaron murmured. "Or at least…_you_ cannot."

Raiki frowned. "What do you have in mind?"

"You'll see." Aaron clutched his staff in both hands and held it out before him, the crystal at its top glowing brightly as Aura surged up around him. With a great cry, the azure flames raced skywards and transformed into the figure of a great serpentine dragon of Aura. As the others gaped at the dragon in amazement, Aaron grunted, and the energy construct roared and lunged at Groudon, wrapping its coils around the surprised titan. Groudon snarled and struggled to break free, managing to wiggle an arm out and rake his claws against the dragon's vaporous hide. Aaron winced in pain as if it had been him who had been scratched, but his dragon merely hissed and exhaled a stream of Aura flames into Groudon's face, causing the brutish deity to bellow in agony. Groudon retaliated with some flames of his own, using Fire Blast. The dragon had to duck its head to avoid the blast, but in doing so loosened its coils, allowing Groudon to shake it off and deal it a staggering Hammer Arm blow to the face. As the dragon—and Aaron-reeled back in pain, Groudon stomped forwards to press the advantage, but the construct recovered and exhaled more blue flames, driving Groudon back.

As the others watched the battle in awe, Gal realized that this might be his opportunity to strike and finish Aaron off once and for all. With all his concentration focused on maintaining that dragon, there was no way he could dodge an attack! Grinning evilly, he stomped the ground, sending Earth Power surging towards the Lucario…

Only to gape in horror as Aaron dropped to the ground and whirled around, channeling the energy through his body as he had before and firing it back at Gal, knocking him back. "They always fall for that trick," Aaron said with a grin.

Raiki chuckled. "Yeah, they sure are stupid, aren't they?"

Charla blinked in surprise and looked from Aaron to the dragon, which was still fighting Groudon unabated. "How are you able to control that thing but still be aware of what's going on around you?"

"I'm an Aura Guardian. I'm _always_ be aware of what's going on around me," Aaron said.

"Then why were you oblivious to Sabrina's being in love with you for years?" Raiki asked.

Aaron ignored him. "It's difficult, but I'm able to concentrate on two things at once; namely, distracting Groudon while continuing to fight Gal," he said, grimacing as his dragon got another bad hit from the great red behemoth. "However, it's only a stopgap measure. Gal has been incredibly resilient, he's managed to handle everything we've thrown at him so far. We need to cut off the source of his power. We need to destroy his Red Orb!"

"Okay, but how?" Charlie asked. "I tried to smash it in one of my moments of clarity, but my teeth cracked on it."

"Maybe we don't need to destroy it so much as sever his connection to it, and therefore, to Groudon?" Raiki suggested.

Charla grinned, seeing where he was going with this and liking the sound of it. "And the best way to do that would be to sever his arm!"

"Or just rip it off. Either way sounds good," Charlie said, also grinning.

"Okay. How are we going to do this?" Raiki asked.

"We've drawn this fight out long enough. We need to end this and get out so they can demolish this place. Let's hit him hard and fast before he can do anything to stop us," Aaron said.

"And I think we're going to get our opportunity to do so right now," Charla commented as Gal got back to his feet, smoldering (literally) with fury.

"I HAVE HAD…ENOUGH OF YOU!" he roared, the chamber shaking with his rage as he burst into flames and charged towards them with Flare Blitz.

"Okay. Let's give him a dose of his own medicine!" Raiki grinned as an electrical nimbus formed around him. Aaron nodded, Aura blazing up around him too.

"Uh, didn't this fail the last time we hit him head-on?" Charla asked.

"Last time, you didn't have me, babe!" Charlie roared as his tail flame surged and he burst into flames. "Let's do this!"

With a great cry, they charged to meet Gal, an Aura-powered ExtremeSpeed, a Volt Tackle, and two Flare Blitzes colliding with Gal's own Flare Blitz. The impact was so strong that it sent shockwaves throughout the entire mountain, cracking the walls, cratering the floor, and making waves in the lava pool. They pushed against each other with all their might as blasts of flame and electricity flew in every direction, eight pairs of eyes fixed on the demonically glowing red eyes of the corrupt Monkey King. Gal grinned as he drew forth more power from the Red Orb, increasing the intensity of his Flare Blitz so that he could incinerate his foes once and for all…

And found, to his horror, that it wasn't enough. No matter how much of Groudon's power he summoned, no matter how much flame he generated, fire enough to burn down the largest forest and kill even the wettest of Water Pokémon…it was not enough. Their determination, their courage, their resolve to fight on burned too brightly in the hearts of Team Auraforce. It was a fire unlike any Gal had ever experienced, and so, like countless other villains before him, he failed to comprehend how this was possible, how a group of 'weaker' Pokémon could possibly stand up to an almighty being such as himself, _especially_ one as tortured and beaten as Charlie!

And it was that failure to understand the source of their strength, the power to fight on no matter how hopeless things seemed or how broken and battered their bodies were that would, like countless other villains before him, lead to his inevitable defeat. Team Auraforce let out a mighty yell and _pushed_ with every erg of power in their bodies, drawing upon reserves of strength that should have been long run dry ages ago, coronas of energy bursting out around them and shattering Gal's shield of fire, sending him flying so hard that he hit the wall, rebounded, hit the ceiling, rebounded, and flew right back towards them, where they smashed into him again and flung him back into the wall hard enough to leave an impression shaped like his body in it.

As Gal groaned and fell out of the indentation, Charlie wrapped his chains around Gal's left wrist and started pulling. Gal grunted and tried to get up, tried to fight back, but then Charla grabbed his right arm and began tugging it in the other direction, causing him to gasp in pain. "Do it! Do it now!" Charla shouted to Aaron and Raiki.

"Dismember the son of a bitch!" Charlie bellowed.

Aaron glanced at his friend. "Can you do this without a sword?"

Raiki laughed as his tail started glowing. "Who says I don't have a sword?"

Aaron smirked and planted his staff in the ground, then formed a Bone Rush energy blade in his paw. "On three, then."

Raiki nodded. "Okay. One…"

"Ugh…what…what is…" Gal groaned, slowly regaining his senses.

"Two…" Aaron said.

"Get ready for some pain, monkey-boy," Charlie said cruelly.

Gal's eyes shot open in alarm. "No! You…you cannot do this to me! I am a god! I am-"

"THREE!" Raiki and Aaron shouted at the same time, leaping into the air and bringing their Bone Rush and Iron Tail down on Gal's left shoulder with all their might at the same time that Charlie pulled on the arm with every last ounce of strength he had left in his maimed body to stretch the limb out as much as he could. When the duo landed, their attacks dissipating with no apparent effect, for a moment Gal thought that they had failed, that his armor was too strong for their feeble weapons to cut through.

And then his shoulder exploded in a geyser of lava and Charlie fell backwards, Gal's severed arm whipping through the air and hitting him in the gut. "Oof! Even when you're losing a limb you're still beating me up!" the Charizard grunted. The light of the Red Orb imbedded in the arm's claw flickered and went out. Groudon blinked, his red eyes flickering as well and reverting to their natural yellow as the Aura dragon he had been battling dissipated. What was going on? Where was he, and how had he gotten there?

Gal howled in pain and wrenched his right arm out of Charla's grasp, grabbing his gushing left shoulder in disbelief. "Noooooo! You fools!" He staggered, a grave weakness radiating throughout his form as his strength drained out of him, much like the lava flowing from where his left arm had used to be. "My…my power…it's fading! What…what have you done?"

"Turned you from a barbarian king to a one-armed bandit?" Raiki said brightly.

"That's a terrible joke," Aaron said.

"Yeah, that's true, I doubt he's got any Poké on him," Raiki admitted.

"It's over, Gal!" Charla snarled. "Well, aside from the part where we rip your head off, that is!"

"Yeah, now _you_ know what it feels like to lose a vital part of your body!" Charlie said, rubbing his wing nubs self-consciously.

"You…you think…you think this will stop me?" Gal snarled, his body trembling. His flaming mane flickered, then exploded outwards, turning blue-white as his Blaze special ability activated, causing his dwindling power levels to skyrocket. With a maddened roar, he unleashed a Fire Spin, the flaming whirlwind knocking Charla and Charlie back. "Even if it takes what little strength is left in this body…I shall kill you all!" He burst into flames and rolled towards Aaron and Raiki with Flame Wheel.

"Yeah? I don't think so!" Raiki shouted as he charged forwards with Volt Tackle, smashing into the Flame Wheel and dispelling the flames, knocking Gal out of his roll.

"The only one who's dying here is you, Gal!" Charla snarled, hitting the stunned Infernape with a Dragon Claw that tore through the plates covering his face (the loss of the Red Orb causing them to weaken and be vulnerable to damage), ripping open part of his mouth and putting out an eye. As he staggered back in pain, Charlie lashed out with a chain, snaring Gal's right arm. Charla grabbed the arm, planted a foot on the tyrant's chest, and pulled on it as hard as she could. This arm too came off, accompanied by another gush of magma, although unlike before, it was unlikely that Gal would be able to regenerate it.

Gal gasped and nearly toppled to the ground, the room swirling before him and darkness forming in the corners of his vision. "N-no…this…this cannot…be…I am…I am Gal…King of the Monkeys…Fire Lord… of Mt. Blaze!"

Aaron's staff flew through the air like a javelin and pierced Gal through the chest, its momentum knocking the monster off his feet and flinging him into the wall, the staff's tip tearing out of his back and imbedding itself in the rock, leaving the mutant Infernape dangling a few inches off the ground. "You are nothing, Gal," Aaron said coldly as Gal gasped, lava-like blood spilling from his mouth. "And now…you are dust." He snapped his fingers, and the crystal on the staff lit up brilliantly before releasing a tremendous surge of Aura, igniting Gal in azure flames. The tyrant howled in agony and thrashed and wailed as the flames consumed him. Aaron beckoned, and his staff tore itself out of Gal's chest and into his paw, causing the flaming figure to fall off the wall, landing in a blue-burning heap on the floor and lying still.

"Long live the King," Raiki snarked.

"The _true_ King, Rayquaza, the only being worthy of that title in this land!" Charla agreed.

Charlie spit on Gal's corpse and kicked it several times for good measure. "You told me you were going to rape and kill my wife right before my eyes. But now I'm feeling like making love to her right here beside your smoldering body. How's them Leppa berries, huh?"

Charla sighed. "Oh Charlie, you say the sweetest things!" Aaron and Raiki sweatdropped.

Groudon blinked as his memory suddenly came rushing back to him. He remembered how he had been beaten and captured by some stupid ugly Drapion and her stupid ugly minions with their stupid ugly machines. He remembered how he had been transported and bound in chains in this lake, moved from one prison to another. He remembered how that full-of-himself Infernape had used that…that _thing_, that accursed Red Orb, to take control of him! And how, rather than using him to do something productive like go on a rampage of destruction or kill Kyogre, he'd just left him in this lake to guard some stupid eggs! The nerve of that guy! And he hadn't even done anything to stop those annoying—and tasty-looking, in both meanings of the term—Pokémon from showing up to pester him with their irritating attacks! What an asshole!

Well, it was time to make up for lost time. He was free of all his bonds, both physical and magical, so saw no reason he couldn't take his rage at being imprisoned, used, and denied proper meals for so long on the rest of the world (and Kyogre, but that went without saying). He thought he'd begin by making this volcano erupt, then splitting the continent into thirds. That'd be a good start. His eyes flashed, and he released a roar loud enough to shake all of Kanjohenn as he gathered his power, causing the entire mountain to tremble and the lava he was in to start churning ominously as he prepared to unleash a devastating Eruption.

Team Auraforce stumbled as the ground beneath their feet lurched, fissures cracking open all over the place. Lava from the lake gleefully surged into these fissures, making them widen and start devouring large tracts of land, leaving the alarmed heroes with little room to stand on. Not even Gal's burned carcass or severed arm were spared, and were swallowed by the molten rock, much to Charlie's lament, because he'd wanted to keep some of it as a souvenir. "Well, this isn't good," Raiki said as he nervously edged away from the widening cracks, more and more of the floor crumbling away by the second.

"He's going to blow us all sky-high! What do we do, fight him?" Charla asked.

"Babe, the _last_ time we beat Groudon, me and Allen and T-Bone and a bunch of other Rescue Teams spent over a week pounding away at the guy, and even then all we did was weaken him enough for Team Aurabolt to finish him off," Charlie said. "Aaron, Raiki, while I admit—reluctantly—that you guys are the best, I don't think you can stop him that quickly!"

"We can't," Aaron admitted. "At least, not on our own." He tapped his badge. "Scotty, this is Aaron. Do you read me?"

"_Aaron! What in blazes have ye been up to? Yer escort reported yer little tiff with Gal got so bad the floor caved in, and now we're getting absolutely crazy seismic readings! The volcano's about to blow! What the Abyss is going on down there?"_ Scotty demanded.

"We've defeated Gal, but Groudon's trying to erupt the mountain," Aaron said. "We need to stop him, and fast! Have all the charges been set?"

"_Aye, Koga's team just reported in a few minutes ago. But why…oh, I see! If we blow them up, we'll bring the whole thing down on the blighter's thick head and put a stop to his petty little tantrum!"_ Scotty realized.

"That's the idea," Aaron said.

"So can you do it now, please? Preferably without us inside, of course," Raiki said quickly.

"_Hold on, we need to get everyone out of range…we issued evacuation orders when the ground-shaking started, so all our mons should be out of the way soon enough. We cannae blow the charges too soon, or they might get caught in the blast!"_

"Yes, but if you blow them too late, there'll be a blast much bigger than that to worry about!" Charla said in alarm as the lava level rose until the floor they were standing on was the last solid piece of ground left, and even then it was fading fast.

"_Hold on…hold on…okay, everyone's clear!"_ Scotty reported.

"Except for us!" Charlie said anxiously. "Get us out of here, mon! Especially because…" He started wavering. "I'm fading fast…adrenaline rush is running out…I'm gonna pass out any second…ohhh…" Abruptly, he fell forward.

Charla caught him before he could fall into the lava. "Scotty, hurry!" she snapped.

"_Give me a second, there's only so much an Abra can do at once! Sheesh…okay, initiating teleportation—and detonation-sequence! The bombs should go off in five…four…three…"_

At the count of two, the four heroes were teleported to safety. At the count of one, the island they had been standing on was completely subsumed by lava. And at zero, the dozens of bombs Koga's ninjas had planted at key structural flaws all over Mt. Blaze detonated.

To those staring at the rumbling mountain from a safe distance, it looked as if, rather than blowing up, the volcano instead _im_ploded, caving in on itself in a great tumult and throwing up a tremendous cloud of dust which swept outwards in every direction, buffeting the retreating airships and flying Pokémon and knocking the leaves off trees dozens of miles away. To Groudon, the last living thing inside of Mt. Blaze (except for a few barbarians the invaders had missed, but they barely counted), it was as if the ceiling caved in and buried him alive…which, in fact, is exactly what happened. Groudon bellowed furiously as tremendous sheets of rock and debris tumbled down on him, thrashing about in rage, trying to break free…but the weight of an entire mountain was something not even the mighty former god of land could shrug off easily, and eventually, despite his angriest protests, he was buried completely, sealed in a tomb of rock and stone. Not dead, but sleeping…for now.

As the cloud of dust and smoke faded, carried away by the wind and the combined power of several hundred wingflaps and turbine engines, the united forces of the Draconian Empire and Pokémon Square stared at what was left of Mt. Blaze: not a towering impenetrable peak, the stronghold of a great army, but a great sprawling mass of rubble sitting in the middle of a barren and empty wasteland. No more did lava flow in great streams, no more did sulfur and other noxious chemicals and minerals bubble in hot springs and wells, no more did dead and burnt trees stretch miserably towards the skies; all had been buried in the mountain's collapse. The few barbarians still alive stared out in disbelief at what had been their home, now just an unrecognizable pile of rocks. They couldn't even see the bodies of their fallen brethren. All had been swallowed by the volcano's implosion. The age of Gal, the Burning Horde, and the Fire Lords of Mt. Blaze had come to an end. The forces of the civilized world had seen to that…and, realizing that they had been doomed from the start, that they had never stood a chance, the defeated soldiers wearily surrendered, hoping that whatever their fate was, it would be kinder than the one they would have offered their adversaries were their roles reversed.

And so the battle for Mt. Blaze came to an end, with a resounding victory for the brave warriors of Pokémon Square and the Draconian Empire. At some point in the future, once the war against the Nihilators and their ilk was truly over and the glorious golden era Team Quantum sought to usher in was realized, a monument would be erected at the site of this battle, both to honor the soldiers who had fallen to put a stop to Gal's insane plans and to commemorate that this was the spot where a grand union of like-minded Pokemon had been forged in fire and steel and energy blasts. It was here that, in many ways, the new age had begun…

Of course, a bigger monument would be built on the site where an even _bigger _alliance would be forged and an even more massive battle against the forces of evil would be fought, but historians would still acknowledge that, in many ways, that one couldn't have happened were it not for the events that had occurred that day at Mt. Blaze. They'd debate endlessly on whether or not it would have happened anyway and which battle was really more important, of course, but they're historians. What else would you expect them to do?

…

Meanwhile, in Pueltown…

Giggling insanely, Bug Fink revved his engines and charged forwards, spikes popping out of his front fender as he tried to gore Maren, Mary, and Janine on them. Maren and Janine flew out of the way, while Mary jumped onto the hood of Bug Fink's hot rod and tried to punch him in the face. Unfortunately, her fist struck a nearly invisible glass dome that had sprung up around the mutant Heracross when she hadn't been looking and rebounded, nearly knocking her off her perch. Bug Fink snarled and pressed a button on his dashboard, electrifying the surface of the vehicle and causing Mary to gasp in pain. He raised his dome slightly and hit her with Megahorn, flinging her off his car's hood. Janine hurled kunai and Maren threw an AncientPower at Bug Fink, but he quickly lowered his shield again, causing their attacks to ricochet off it. He pressed another button, and numerous missile launchers sprouted from the sides and rear of his hot rod and fired rockets at the two flying Pokémon.

Maren glanced at Janine and made a signal. Her longtime partner understood it at once and nodded, getting out of the way as Maren used Follow Me, causing the missiles to lock onto her. The Togetic then flew away while Janine lunged towards Bug Fink, arms glowing red as she lashed out at the dome again and again with Fury Cutter. Bug Fink grunted in annoyance when her rapid slashes started scratching its surface and pressed down on the accelerator, lunging forward and smashing the Ninjask against his windshield. He snickered and spun the wheel, causing the hot rod to rapidly swivel in place, burning rubber and leaving a nasty mess of tire tracks on the stage as the centrifugal force flung Janine off. Sprouting spikes from the front fender again, he drove forwards to try and run her over…

Only for Mary to stop him, leaping over the Ninjask and grabbing the hot rod by the engine grille, digging her feet into the floor and using her Fighting-type strength to stop his charge. Enraged, Bug Fink floored the accelerator, causing the tires to squeal rather irritatingly as they spun against the floor, smoke rising from their surfaces and from the exhaust as he tried to crush Mary. Mary gritted her teeth in pain, sweat rolling down her face as she struggled to keep from being overwhelmed by the more powerful demon machine. It got worse when Bug Fink sadistically decided to make things worse for her by electrifying the chassis of his car and causing the headlights to flip down and spray flamethrower streams out on either side of her, the extremes of the two elemental forces electrifying and burning her and causing her to scream in pain…and inside, a rather large part of her thought, _I deserve this._

By that point, thankfully, Janine had managed to recover and flew over Mary, launching into an X-Scissor that left a big X-shaped scratch in the surface of the dome. Annoyed, Bug Fink turned on his windshield wipers, and by windshield wipers I mean buzzsaws. They failed to do more than hinder Janine for more than a few moments, however, as she easily dispatched them with flicks of her super-sharp claws before resuming her assault on the dome…

And then, abruptly, she retreated. Bug Fink blinked, wondering why…and then he saw Maren flying right towards him, the missiles he'd fired at her hot on her trail. Yelping in alarm, he quickly shifted into reverse, causing Mary to fall to the ground with a gasp as the hot rod was no longer pushing against, electrifying, or burning her. Bug Fink didn't get very far, however, as Janine dashed by his vehicle on one side then the other with the speed her kind was renowned for, lashing out at the car's tires with Slash and causing them to deflate, the vehicle coming to a screeching halt as the underside of its chassis hit the ground and scraped along the stage. She then retreated to a safe distance as Maren made a Beedrillline right for the dome. Bug Fink shrieked and ducked his head and covered his eyes as Maren flew right towards him then away at the last second, the missiles failing to change direction in time and smashing right into the big X mark with a tremendous explosion that engulfed the vehicle in a cloud of smoke.

Maren smirked and high-fived Janine. "Well done," the Ninjask said.

"You'd think they'd invent missiles that can change direction fast enough not to fall for a trick like that by now," Maren commented. Mary groaned, drawing the Togetic's attention. She gasped when she saw the condition the Medicham was in. "Oh no! Mary!" She flew over to Mary and used Wish, causing her to regain some, but not all, of her vitality. "Are you all right?"

"I've…been better," Mary grunted. "Did we get him?"

The smoke cleared to reveal that the hot rod was, incredibly, still standing, and didn't look like it had been very badly damaged by the explosion, save for some cracks on the dome. Bug Fink peeked through his claws, realized to his astonishment that he was still alive, and burst into raucous laughter, pointing and jeering at the others while making Razz Berries and splattering the interior of his dome with saliva. He stopped laughing when an enraged Mary smashed through the cracked dome with Ice Punch, grabbing his tongue and causing it to freeze solid, allowing her to break it off with a gruesome snap. As the mutated Heracross howled, blood spurting from his mouth, Mary discarded the frozen tongue, grabbed him by the horn, and pulled him bodily through the dome and out of the vehicle, shattering the shield and causing pieces of glass or plastic or whatever it was made of to get stuck in his exoskeleton. With a raging cry she hurled him away, causing him to hit the ground so hard his horn was imbedded in the stage.

"…Wow," said an impressed Mary.

"Eh. My uncle's done worse," Janine said dismissively. She charged up a Shadow Ball and threw it into the hot rod's cockpit, causing the garish vehicle to explode spectacularly. The audience cheered, impressed by the very authentic pyrotechnics.

"NOOOOOOOO!" Bug Fink howled, so overcome with grief and rage he managed to wrench himself out of the stage, taking a big chunk of the floor with it, still stuck to his horn. "MY WHEEEEEEEELS!" He burst into big greasy tears.

Mary and Maren winced, realizing that they'd broken Torque's heart yet again. "Sorry…"

"I'm not," said Janine, which was unsurprising since she was a borderline sociopath.

"AH KILLS YOU! AH KILLS YOU DEEEEEEEAAAAAD!" Bug Fink shouted. The wings on his back flicked open and he rose into the air, horn glowing as he flew at them with Megahorn.

This turned out to be rather a lot less effective than he would have liked, however, when Mary just grabbed the end of his horn, stopping him in mid-charge. Bug Fink blinked in surprise, growled angrily, and tried to swipe at her with his claws, but since Mary was holding him at arm's distance they didn't get anywhere near close enough to hit her. The Medicham sweatdropped. "He's not quite as fearsome when he's not behind the wheel, is he?"

"Well, I don't know, I'd imagine it would hurt quite a lot if he bit you," Maren said. "I think he might have rabies, or some other horrible disease…I shudder to think about what kind of bacteria are in that foul mouth of his."

"$%#&*!%#*$%&*#!*%$*&#!" Torque bellowed incomprehensibly, proving her point.

"Don't you _dare_ talk to her like that again!" Janine snarled angrily, slashing through Bug Fink's horn with a single…well, Slash. His horn broken off, Bug Fink flew back through the air, leaving Mary holding what was left. The Heracross felt the top of his head in disbelief, eyes bugging out even wider when he realized what he'd lost. He trembled with rage and roared loudly enough to shake the theater, his skin turning red from fury.

"You probably shouldn't have done that," Maren said to Janine. "Heracross view their horns as a sign of strength and virility, after all."

"So I symbolically castrated him. He should be grateful I didn't physically," Janine grunted.

Opening his mouth wider than usual, Bug Fink started charging up a Hyper Beam. Before he could finish, however, Maren used Encore, throwing a white energy orb at the Heracross that caused him to sparkle white and forced him to use Megahorn again, despite the fact that he didn't have a horn anymore. A look of alarm and confusion in his big bloodshot eyes, he flew right towards them, unable to control himself. Mary drew back her fist and hit him in the face with an Ice Punch, freezing him in a block of ice and sending him flying. Janine leaped up to meet the ice block and lashed out with Fury Swipes, shattering the ice and causing blood to spurt in huge gashes from all over the Heracross's body. Maren flew up behind the dazed and pain-stricken Bug Fink and slammed into him with Double-Edge, flinging him back towards Janine, who dodged to the side and hit him with a Slash as he flew past. There was a pause, and then the Heracross's wings disintegrated, and Bug Fink fell to the ground, rolling across the stage and landing at Mary's feet. Shaking and bleeding all over, the Heracross struggled to pull himself up, grotesque orbs locking onto Mary's horrified face. "Kill…kill…kill…" He stiffened, eyes glazing over. "You…" He sagged and collapsed to the floor, his wounds taking their toll.

Mary's shoulders shook and she tried to keep from crying as the audience cheered and Maren and Janine came over. "Torque…I'm so sorry…for everything…" She bit her lip to hold back tears. "Now I know…why I'm not a hero…and why I never will be…"

"…Mary…" Maren whispered.

Janine enveloped the Togetic in a hug from behind. "I care little what you or she call herself by, so long as you are safe, my love."

Maren managed to smile. "Thank you, Janine. I'm glad to know that, no matter what happens to me…you'll always be there for me."

They kissed, and the audience cooed in delight. _But what about me?_ Mary thought despondently. _Won't anyone be there for me? Or am I fated to be alone forever?_ She sighed unhappily._ Then again…is it really any less than I deserve?_

At the same time Mary, Maren, and Janine were fighting Bug Fink, Evan and Jerry found themselves fighting the Cherbui's corrupted father, the wicked Cherrim Sakurai. "You know, if it weren't for the fact that they're on fire, I'd think it wasss kinda sssissssy of you to fight by throwing petalsss at me!" Evan said as he spat Acid, destroying the Petal Dance storm of flaming petals Sakurai had thrown at him.

"A real mon isn't afraid to play around with petals!" Sakurai countered. "And besides, I'm a Grass-type, so it's not like I really have that much of a choice in my attacks." He spat a flaming Leech Seed at Evan.

Evan destroyed it with Acid, too. "Well, at leassst they're all on fire now. It'sss a niccce touch."

"Thanks, I think so too," Sakurai said.

"I don't!" Jerry said. "Dad, we're Grass-types! Fire is anathema to us! That you've embraced it, and _demonic_ fire at that…it's like you're betraying everything you stood for!"

"Stay out of this, son, I'm doing this for you! Mostly for me, yes, but at least partially for you too," Sakurai said, using Growth, causing his body to glow green as it swelled up to twice its size and increased his power. "And now you will face my full wrath!"

"Wow, I've never ssseen a Cherrim that big before," Evan hissed. "And I won't again, either!" He spat Poison Stings at Sakurai.

The big Cherrim conjured flaming Magical Leaves, which flew through the air, some of them hitting the poisonous needles and exploding while others struck Evan, causing him to yelp in pain as he got cuts all over his body…and was also set on fire. "Aaaahh! Hot, hot, hot!"

Hissssa, who was still pounding on the barrier, gasped. "EVAN!" She doubled (or is it quadrupled, since there were two heads, each of which was working twice as hard?) her efforts to break through to the stage.

"Dad, stop this! I told you, this isn't what I want!" Jerry yelled.

"While I understand and admire that your heart is in the right place, Jerry, you're wasting your concern on the likes of him!" Sakurai said, opening his mouth and spitting flaming Bullet Seeds at Evan. Evan retaliated with Poison Stings, causing the projectiles to blow up in midair. "He's ruined our town! And as the Mayor of Chicole village, it's my duty to punish and destroy anyone who threatens our wellbeing!"

"I told you already, it wasss an acccident! I didn't _mean_ for Hissssssa to fall in love with me, though I'm glad she did!" Evan said. "Look, if I gave back the bribe you gave me, won't we be sssquare? Sssince you'll have money to sssend your village's kidsss to college again?"

Sakurai snorted. "Please, with the way tuition rates keep inflating due to the economy? The money I gave you would barely pay for one _year_ at a good college!"

"Then why not jussst sssettle for one that'sss _not_ asss good?" Evan asked reasonably.

That was the wrong thing to say. "Are you telling me our children don't deserve the best education available?" Sakurai shouted angrily, summoning a storm of burning Magical Leaves.

"Ack! I didn't mean it like that, honessst!" Evan shrieked in alarm as he frantically slithered away from the swirling leaves.

"Also, while there _are_ cheaper colleges, they're too far away from town to get to easily, so the cost of transportation for those who can't get on-campus housing would add up and bankrupt us just as easily," Jerry commented.

Sakurai sighed. "It's such a pity that they put so high a price on education, isn't it?" The parents and college students in the audience nodded in agreement.

"…You know, I think I almossst preferred it when you were jussst trying to kill me. What, are we trying to be political all of a sssudden?" Evan complained.

"No, we're trying to make you DEAD!" Sakurai shouted, his face glowing brilliantly as he fired a SolarBeam at Evan, hitting him full-on and flinging him back, screaming in pain.

Hissssa gasped in horror. "EVAN!"

"Wait, how did you even use that? It's nighttime, and we're indoors!" Jerry protested.

"Because I'm fueled by the power of evil!" Sakurai replied.

"…That doesn't even make sense!" Jerry yelled.

"Neither does your getting involved, son! So stay out of this!" Fire swirling around him, he streaked towards Evan in a flaming Take Down.

"Eeek!" Evan squealed in alarm.

"Hold on! Take some of my power!" Jerry said, hitting Evan with Helping Hand.

"Ooh, I feel ssso much ssstronger…" Evan hissed in wonder as his strength grew. "Ssstrong enough to do _this!_" He used Gunk Shot, vomiting up a tremendous mass of black and purple sludge that splattered all over Sakurai and sent him spinning away, crying in pain and disgust. "Oooh…and now my ssstomach doesssn't feel ssso good…" Evan moaned. "I think that wasss everything I've eaten in the lassst few daysss…which, consssidering how long it takesss my ssspeccciesss to digessst anything, isss a _lot_…"

"Gah! You…look what you've done to me!" Sakurai shrieked angrily, trying and failing to shake the toxic sludge off his body. "This is just plain disgusting! I don't think I'll ever be able to wash this smell off! Ugh, if I weren't already going to kill you for ruining our village, I'd do it anyway for your being such a slob!"

"Yeah, that'sss what my mom sssaysss whenever I take too long to clean my room," Evan said.

Sakurai tried and failed to reignite his flaming aura, the ooze coating his body preventing him from rekindling his flame. "Ugh…this is revolting…but it doesn't mean I can't still do this!" He summoned more flaming petals with Petal Dance and threw them at Evan. Evan tried to spit Poison Stings, but his stomach loudly protested, so he yelped and settled for Digging out of the way instead, smashing through the stage…

And finding himself in the area underneath it where all the props and costumes and other things were stored. "Ohhh, so _this_ is where people go when they fall through trapdoorsss and ssstuff!"

"Don't think you can hide from me down there!" Sakurai growled, throwing burning Magical Leaves into the hole Evan had made. They struck some of the pieces of clothing and scattered scripts lying all over the place and quickly ignited, turning the under-stage area into an inferno.

"Oh, crap!" Evan yelled in alarm.

"Hahahaha! Burn! Burn!" Sakurai yelled eagerly, throwing more leaves into the blaze.

"Dad, STOP!" Jerry shouted, running towards the demonic Cherrim, leaping into the air, and slamming into him with Tackle, knocking him away from the hole.

"Ugh…still you persist in defying me?" Sakurai asked angrily as he shook Jerry off. "Oh, and look at you, now you're all dirty too!"

"If it's to save someone's life, then it's worth it!" Jerry said.

"Then you besmirched yourself for nothing, because it's all over! There's no way he could have survived…that…" Sakurai trailed off when a trapdoor on the stage opened and Evan, wearing a revealing prostitute costume, quickly leaped out, flames roaring after him.

"Phew, that wasss clossse," the Ekans hissed in relief, wiping away some sweat with his tail.

"Uh, Evan, why are you wearing-" Jerry started.

"I'd rather not talk about it," Evan said flatly.

"And I'd rather not talk at all! I'm sick and tired of this!" Sakurai snarled.

Little flames ignited in the air around him as his anger grew, and abruptly the floor split open as huge flaming thorny vines emerged, flailing violently and knocking Jerry away. "Aaaah!"

"Sorry son, but this is for your own good! You've interfered too much already…I don't want to have to hurt you, too!" Sakurai said as more flaming vines arose, creating a ring around him and the rather anxious-looking Evan. "And besides…now nothing will stop me from killing you!"

"I don't sssuppose we can talk about thisss?" Evan asked hopefully.

"No," said Sakurai as flaming vines burst out of the ground under Evan and wrapped themselves around him, causing him to scream in pain as the thorns dug into his skin and burned him.

"Evan!" Jerry gasped.

"NO!" Hissssa shrieked.

"And now…you die!" Sakurai cackled, gathering his power, face glowing as he powered up for another SolarBeam.

"Oh, ssshit!" Evan moaned, squeezing his eyes shut in anticipation of the end.

Thankfully, it never came. "YOU BASSSTARD! DON'T YOU DARE LAY A PETAL ON OUR EVAN!" Hissssa shouted, her eyes flashing red as her fury and determination to save the mon she loved awakened the dark power of her bloodline…the legacy of the legendary monster, Yamatorochi! Red and black energy crackled around her serpentine form, and her shadow writhed and emerged from the ground to form six heads and necks made of pure darkness to complement the two solid ones she already had. As the audience gaped in disbelief and those closest to Hissssa scrambled frantically to get away from her, the giant Seviper drew back her eight heads, red eyes glowing and darkness dripping from her many mouths like saliva, bellowed loudly enough to rock the theater to its foundations, and slammed into the barrier in front of the stage, releasing a tremendous blast of dark energy which knocked over the orchestra and blew everyone who was sitting in the front-row seats away as it tore the force field to smithereens. Howling for blood, the eight-headed serpent surged onto the stage and slithered towards Sakurai.

"Holy _shit,_" said an astonished Jerry, quickly scurrying out of the way as Hissssa surged by.

The demonic Cherrim's jaw dropped in disbelief as the great beast bore down on him. "Wh-what the?" He frantically called up more flaming vines to protect him, but Hissssa ripped through them with a flick of her necks before lunging forwards, all eight heads converging on Sakurai and slamming into him with a blast of dark energy so strong that it vaporized the sludge covering him, destroyed his petals, and sent him flying back into the far wall so hard that he cratered it, purple and red smoke trailing from his form. "Ohhhh…"

Hissing in triumph, Hissssa turned back towards Evan, who was dropped to the floor as Sakurai's flaming tendrils crumbled into dust. He groaned and looked upwards, blinking blearily as he stared at the monstrosity his girlfriend had become. "Woooo boy."

Hissssa's red eyes softened with concern, and her shadowy heads melted back into the ground as she bent down and nudged him worriedly. "Evan!" said Hiss.

"Are you all right?" asked Ssa.

"I've…been better," Evan groaned. "What…what _wasss_ that?"

Hissssa flushed. "Oh," said Hiss. "Well…"

"We've told you before we're dessscccended from Yamatorochi, right?" Ssa said.

"Yeah, that sssoundsss familiar…" Evan murmured.

"While we don't agree with family tradition of being carnivorousss monssstersss preying on innocccent villagersss, we've ssstill inherited sssome of the old sssnake'sss power and can call upon it in timesss of need, but only asss a lasst resssort," Hiss said.

"If we ussse it too much, we may grow more headsss," Ssa said. "Or become evil. Or both."

"If that prossspect ssscaresss you, we promissse to try not to ussse it again," Hiss asked, worried that this little revelation might be a relationship breaker.

"Ssscaresss me? Are you kidding? That wasss awesssome!" Evan hissed eagerly. "If you had more headsss, than there'd be even more of you to ssshower me with attention, and more of you for _me_ to love! It'd be almossst like having a harem of my own, sssort of like the one my parentsss are a part of. Can you do it again? I wanna sssee it again!"

Hissssa blinked. "That isss not what I thought he'd sssay," Ssa said.

"You're taking thisss better than I exxxpected," Hiss commented.

"My girlfriend usssed the powersss of a legendary evil to sssprout exxxtra headsss and totally cream the guy who wasss trying to kill me! What'sss not to like about that?" Evan said giddily. "Ssso when can you do it again? And how many timesss do you have to ussse it before you get exxxtra headsss for real? I'm ssso envious, I wisssh _I_ had exxxtra headsss, then maybe I'd have more brainpower and people would ssstop calling me ssstupid…becaussse I could hit 'em with a double dossse of venom if they ever looked at me funny!" He laughed maniacally, causing Hissssa to sweatdrop.

Jerry rolled his eyes. "Oh, Evan…" He frowned and looked sadly at his father, who was still imbedded in the wall. "Dad…why did it have to come to this?" He glanced at the ceiling in annoyance. "And why haven't the sprinklers kicked in yet? Shouldn't all this burning stuff have set off a fire alarm by now?"

"We…shut off…the sprinklers…so they wouldn't…get in…the way…" Sakurai groaned.

"Oh," Jerry said. "That makes sense, I suppose."

"That…it does…can you get me…down from this…wall now? I think if I were…on the ground…my spine would…stop hurting so much…" Sakurai moaned.

"If I get you down, do you promise to give up your quest of vengeance?" Jerry asked.

"…Well…I promise I'll surrender _this_ time…is that good enough?" Sakurai asked.

Jerry sighed. "Oh, all right…hang on, I'll get you down…"

As Jerry tended to his father and Evan and Hissssa made out (the giant snake had gotten tired of Evan babbling about how much he wanted to have other heads so kissed him to shut him up), Gooey battled Gary and the Spirit, though the Gengar was still reluctant to fight his former frie…teamma…Pokémon they'd dragged around and used as a squirt toy. "Gooey, we don't have to do this!" Gary yelled as he dodged the fireballs the demonic Octillery spat at him. "I don't want to hurt you! I don't want to cause you anymore pain than you already have!"

"A pity I don't feel the same towards you!" Gooey snarled, thrusting a tentacle towards Gary. He turned transparent so it would pass through him, and was surprised when instead it slammed into him full-force, pinning him to a wall.

"Guh! H-how did you do that?" Gary cried in a surprise.

"I have the powers of the Abyss behind me! Compared to the might of a demon, a Ghost is naught but a wee bogeymon that little children are convinced is hiding under their beds, waiting to snatch at their ankles!" Gooey boasted.

"Hey, I only did that once! Well, twice…" Gary admitted, turning red.

"You will never do it again, now!" Gooey said, drawing back a tentacle, stiffening it into a point to drive it between Gary's eyes.

Before he could attack, however, there was a flash of moonlight, and the tentacle's tip was severed. As Gooey howled in pain, lava-like blood spurting from the end of the tendril, there was another flash of moonlight, and the tentacle holding Gary in place was dismembered, allowing the Gengar to float free. "You may have the power of the Abyss," the Spirit said, brandishing his mystical sword dramatically. "But I have the blessings of the Moon, and beneath her pearlescent gaze, no evil can be committed!"

"Uh, but don't most crimes take place at night?" Gary asked.

"Not in _this_ city, they don't," the Spirit said.

"Oh, okay," Gary said.

"The Moon? Pah! Your power is but a pale reflection of the Sun…while I am fueled by the burning wrath of the Abyss itself!" Gooey bellowed as his tentacles regenerated themselves. "Feel that wrath firsthand, and burn in the fires of perdition!"

"Per…ohhhh, so _that's_ why you call yourselves that!" Gary realized. He noticed the Spirit running away. "I should not be standing here, should I?"

"No," the Spirit called back.

"Yipe!" Gary quickly flew after him just before Gooey expelled a tremendous stream of demon flames which set the curtains on fire, blackened the stage, scorched the walls, and certainly would have incinerated even a Ghost as generally unbothered by the laws of nature as Gary. Gary gawked in disbelief when he saw the damage. "What are you, nuts? I thought you only wanted to kill us! You could wind up hurting innocent people at this rate if you're not careful!"

This actually caused Gooey to hesitate for a moment…but only for a moment. "If that is the price to pay for justice…then so be it!"

"Justice? You blind fool! You know nothing of justice!" the Spirit accused.

"Perhaps not, but I know a thing or two about REVENGE!" Gooey said, slamming his tentacles on the ground and sending lines of fire blasting out in every direction. The Spirit raised his sword to block the flames, while Gary dodged between the columns and fired a Shadow Ball at Gooey. The demon Octillery deflected it with a tentacle and spat back a fireball in retaliation. Gary tried to dodge it, but the fireball exploded as it passed him, causing him to be struck by the blast wave and flung through the air. One of Gooey's tentacles shot forwards to impale the Gengar, but the Spirit got there first, severing the limb with a flick of his sword. Snarling angrily, Gooey thrust his other tentacles at the Spirit, forcing him to engage in rapid swordplay to try and fend off the tentacles, which seemed slightly pointless because they kept on coming since each appendage the Spirit wounded would regenerate and be back in the fray seconds later.

Seeing that Gooey's attention was focused on the Spirit, Gary phased through the ground and popped up behind Gooey, charging a Shadow Ball and preparing to attack him from behind. This turned out to be a bit of a bad idea, however, when two of Gooey's tentacles twitched and suddenly shot towards him, causing him to yelp and drop the Shadow Ball in alarm as he swerved out of the way, blowing up part of the floor. "Ack! How'd you know I was back here?"

Gooey whirled about, his tentacles spinning with him and bashing the Spirit away. "My hatred for you burns so deeply that I _always_ know where you are…that, and my aforementioned affinity for Compass pieces, of which you possess a few."

"Oh, right, forgot about that," Gary said.

"You will never forget _this!_" Gooey said as one of his tentacles snatched Gary from behind, wrapping around him tightly and causing the Gengar to gasp in pain as it burned and began to constrict the unlife out of him. "Do you feel the fires, Gary? Do you feel them burning? Now you shall burn as I did, in the bowels of Mt. Boyleland…but instead of being reborn from the flames, you shall be destroyed for all time!"

"Not so long as I draw breath!" the Spirit said, dashing by and severing the tentacle holding Gary, the Gengar gasping in relief as he broke free.

"A problem easily remedied!" Gooey sneered as he thrust his tentacles into the ground. Gary and the Spirit exchanged looks of alarm and started running as one by one the tentacles erupted out of the floor behind them, doing their best to keep one step ahead of the appendages. When Gooey had the forethought to extend one tentacle ahead of them to block their path, the Spirit cut it down, but not before another tentacle emerged underneath them in a blast that sent them flying.

Gooey cackled and expelled a torrent of demonic flames that rushed forward, seeking to incinerate them. Gary managed to recover and fly out of the way in time, but the Spirit was not so lucky, and got consumed by the blaze. Gary gasped in horror, as did the audience. "Spirit! Nooooooo!"

Gooey laughed. "And so your only defender dies, Gary…now nobody remains to save you from your long-awaited punishment!"

"I think not!" the Spirit said as he emerged from the inferno, his cloak covered in flames.

"What is this?" Gooey cried in disbelief as Gary sighed in relief and the audience cheered. "How could you have survived that?"

"It will take more than the fires of a paltry demon to destroy one who is blessed by the Moon," the Spirit said. He glanced at his cloak, which was still burning. "Hmm…it seems it was just enough to destroy my cloak, however. I suppose I have no choice but to remove it…and in so doing, at last reveal my true identity!"

"Ooooohhhh," the audience said.

"Oh boy! I was hoping I'd find out who you really are! Are you a Ghost? I bet you're a Ghost!" Gary said giddily.

"Gary, I already told you, I'm not a Ghost," the Spirit said.

"Yeah, but I figured you were lying," Gary said.

"Well, I wasn't, for you see…" The Spirit dramatically threw off his cloak, revealing…a Clefable? "I am Nando, High Priest of Cresselia and emissary of the Moon Kingdom!"

The audience gasped in astonishment. "Okay, I did not see this coming," Gary admitted.

"You…you are a fairy?" Gooey cried in amazement.

The newly revealed Nando nodded. "That is correct! Centuries ago I came to Earth to establish a place of worship for my fair goddess. Rather than simply building a boring old temple like everyone else, I struck on the idea of dedicating an entire city to her…and so I masterminded the founding and construction of Pueltown, a place where the arts flourish and imagination and creativity flow freely, a place where every day people give thanks and praise to my lady of the Moon, often without them even knowing it!"

"…Wait, how does that work?" asked a confused Gary. "Cresselia's the goddess of dreams and the moon. Where do theater and art and music come into that?"

"Cresselia's the goddess of those things," said Nando. "Well, except for music, that's someone else's jurisdiction."

Gary blinked. "She is? I did not know that."

"Most people don't, that's why it works so well," Nando said. "They're offering devotion to her without even realizing they're doing it!"

"Very clever. But, uh, doesn't the fact that you blurted it out onstage ruin all that?" Gary asked.

"No, I'll just cast a charm to erase everyone's memory later. It wouldn't be the first time," Nando said.

"Oh, okay." Gary paused. "Wait…"

"I care naught if you are from the Moon, the stars, or even the darkest reaches of space! I shall destroy you either way!" Gooey roared, slamming his tentacles on the ground and sending snaking lines of fire towards them.

Nando swung his sword, sending out a wave of moonlight that extinguished the flames. "Surely you jest! A high priest of Cresselia, fighting in the place where his power is strongest? Do you really think you can beat me here?"

"Uh, why is this place-" Gary started.

"It's the _Selene_ theater," Nando said.

"...Ohhhhh, I see," Gary realized.

Growling in frustration, Gooey thrust his tentacles into the ground. Nando backflipped as they all erupted from the floor beneath his feet, slashing at them with his sword and severing them, only for them to regenerate moments later. The Clefable frowned in annoyance. "This is not working…we must find a way to strike at him directly…ah, but of course! Gary, stay close!"

"Why, what are you-" Gary started before both of them glowed and abruptly they shrank down to a hundredth of their size. "…What."

"I used Minimize to increase our evasiveness," Nando explained.

"Yes, but it also means if he hits us, we're as good as dead!" Gary screamed as a tentacle fell towards them. They quickly flew out of the way as it smashed into the ground, sending out a wave of fire that they floated over. "…Wait, you can fly?"

"Of course. Why wouldn't I?" Nando asked, his wings twitching.

"I…uh…have no response to that," Gary said, drawing a blank.

"Gah! Hold…still!" Gooey growled in annoyance, tentacles flailing about as he tried to smash the pint-sized flyers with his tentacles, embers raining all over the place.

"Ack! We can't keep doing this forever!" Gary cried in alarm as they frantically tried to dodge all the tendrils and fireballs flying all over the place.

"We won't have to…follow me, I have an idea!" Nando said, flying…right towards a tentacle?

"What are you, crazy?" Gary cried.

"Well, I am a _luna_tic," Nando joked.

"…I don't get it," Gary said.

"You know…lunatic? I'm from the Moon, another name for which is _luna_…" Nando said.

"Oh. Oh! I see. Yeah, that makes sense," Gary said. He whistled. "Wow. Sorry so much of what you say just keeps going over my head. Guess it's because I'm not as sophisticated as you."

"It's no problem," Nando assured him.

"DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!" Gooey bellowed, spewing flames at Gary.

"Gaaaah!" Gary cried in alarm, barely dodging them. "You said you had a plan?"

"Follow me!" Nando said, flying towards a tentacle.

Gary shrugged. "Well, all right, you're the centuries-old priest and guardian of this city…" He followed after Nando. The Clefable lashed out at the tentacle with his sword, not enough to sever it, but just enough to cut it. Provoked by the assault, the tentacle tried to crush him, but Nando quickly flew out of its reach, Gary hot on his heels and the tip of the tentacle even hotter on theirs. Nando led them towards another tentacle, which he threw a wave of moonlight at, drawing its attention and causing it to surge right towards them. Nando flew to the side at the last minute, causing the tentacle to go past him and collide with the one that had been chasing him, the two limbs instinctively wrapping around each other. Gary's eyes widened as realization dawned on him. "Oh! So, what we're doing is…"

Nando nodded. "Precisely! Keep it up, before those two get loose!"

Gooey blinked. "Eh? What are you two-" Gary fired a Night Shade at one of his tentacles. "Grah! You annoying little!" Gooey flung the tentacle at Gary, and the Gengar let it chase after him until he reached the two tentacles stuck on each other, looping around the pair and causing the third tentacle to wrap around them. "Hey! Stop that!"

"Don't think so," Gary said, throwing a Shadow Ball at Gooey's face. Even though the attack was miniscule, one of Gooey's tentacles flung up to knock it away, and Nando, who had gotten another tentacle to chase him, led the appendage into that one, causing them to collide and wrap around each other. Gary fired a Night Shade at another tentacle and allowed it to pursue him back towards those two, slipping between them then around and around it, the tentacle following him and accidentally tying itself into the other two, getting itself stuck.

Gooey's eyes widened as realization dawned. "Wait a minute. I see what you're doing! But it won't work, because I'll just…ungh…pull my tentacles apart…and…erk…why isn't this working?" he demanded as he tried to unravel his tentacles, only to find that they were holding onto each other too tightly, their fanged suckers digging into each other and refusing to let go.

"Because your thirst for revenge is so great, your tentacles can let go of nothing…not even yourself!" Nando said.

"…Wait, I'm not sure that even makes sense," said the confused Gary.

"I was attempting to be metaphorical and pointing out how Gooey's hatred and desire for vengeance is so strong it's blinding him to all else," Nando said.

"Oh, okay," Gary said.

"Grr…you seem to be forgetting that I have two more tentacles!" Gooey roared, thrusting his two remaining appendages towards them. Gary and Nando glanced at each other, nodded, and took off, the tentacles chasing after them as they swooped beneath and around the two flailing masses of bound tendrils, passing by each other and causing the pursuing tentacles to clash into each other, pulling the rest with them and wrapping them all together into one big, messy knot. "…Okay, maybe you have a point with that blindness thing…" Gooey muttered as he stared at his twitching tentacles in surprise. "I should not have let that happen again…"

Gary and Nando swelled back up to their original size as the Minimize wore off. "And now that he is defenseless, we shall strike the final blow!" the Clefable said, drawing back his sword.

"Wait! I don't want to kill him! I already did that once, by accident, and I don't want to relive that experience!" Gary protested.

"Who said anything about killing him? I just want to knock him out until we can find a way to change him back to normal," Nando said.

"Oh. You should have said that in the first place," Gary said.

"Defenseless? Fools! I am far from defeated!" Gooey snarled, infuriated that his attempts to unravel his tentacles were flailing. He spat massive fireballs at the duo.

Gary and Nando flew all over the place to try and dodge the fireballs. "We're never gonna get close enough to finish him so long as he keeps spamming that!" Gary protested.

"Perhaps there is something I can do about that…" Nando said. He started gracefully twirling and pirouetting through the air.

Gary sweatdropped. "…Seriously? You're going to dance right now, in the middle of a battle? This isn't one of those choreographed stage fights from _Maria and Draco_, this is real!"

"And so is this!" Nando said as his body started glowing blue. "They may have disabled the sprinklers, but there is more than one way to put out a fire!"

A raincloud formed over his head and quickly expanded to cover the whole stage. Thunder clashed, and rain began to fall on the stage, extinguishing the flames burning all over the place and causing the fires around Gooey to go out as well, his body blackening and hardening as it cooled off. "What? No, not Rain Dance! No! Noooooo!" Gooey cried in horror as he tried to summon up more of his power to counter this, tried to free his tentacles, only to find to his dismay that he was finding it harder and harder to move.

Gary snapped his fingers. "Of course, the big monster he got his powers from was vulnerable to water too! Heh, how ironic that his former type is now his greatest weakness!"

"And now, let us finish him!" Nando said.

"Okay," Gary said, charging up and firing a Shadow Ball. At the same time, Nando drew back his sword and glided down at Gooey. The Clefable's moonlight blade and Gary's ball of darkness struck Gooey's bulbous head at the same time, causing an explosion as the mutated Octillery roared in pain and toppled over, hitting the stage with a thud that shook the theater, the demoniac glow in his eyes slowly fading away as he passed out. Gary floated down and touched Gooey sadly. "Gooey…I promise I'll make it up to you. We'll turn you back to normal, we'll give you a share of our loot…whatever it takes to make you realize how very sorry we all are. This should never have happened to you. I swear I'll do whatever it takes to make things right."

Nando smiled. "And still you fear that you do not have the heart of a hero?"

Gary was startled when the audience started cheering and applauding. "Huh? Why are they…"

"You have won, my friend! _All_ of you have!" Nando said, gesturing to the rest of Team Nightshade and their allies as they came over, staring at the audience in wonder. "You have put on a show the likes of which Pueltown has not seen in many a year…and the people love you for it, as well they should!"

"Whoa…" Gary murmured.

"Isss thisss…isss thisss what it feelsss like to be appreccciated?" Evan started sniffing. "I'm…I'm ssso happy…"

"Me too!" Hiss said.

"Essspecccially sssinccce I'm with you," Ssa said, nuzzling him and causing several of the audience members to whoop and whistle.

Jerry chuckled. "Oh, get a room you two…er, three."

"They're cheering…for us?" Mary asked in disbelief. "I never thought that…that anyone would _ever_ do that for us…" _Especially for me…are any of them applauding for me, or is it all for the others? _She scowled. _Oh, who cares! It was a team effort, so I'm going to bask in their adolation, whether or not any of it's for me! This was a role _way_ better than being a blade of grass…a fighter is who I meant to be, and if they can't handle it, then screw them!_

"While I can't say I'm not somewhat flattered that they enjoyed this so much…my pleasure is somewhat marred by the knowledge that Hayzee's probably going to kill us and refuse to give us her Compass piece," Maren muttered.

"I could always steal it," Janine offered.

"Ah, and ruin all the goodwill we've just earned, and make _another_ embittered ex-friend who'll chase after us, screaming for our blood? What a wonderful idea!" Maren said sarcastically.

"She won't if I kill her," Janine said.

Maren rolled her eyes. "Janine, she's an innocent Pokémon. You can't hurt her."

"An innocent Pokémon who may be impeding our mission, in which case she is nothing more than an obstacle," Janine said. "And obstacles must be removed, no matter what the method."

Maren sighed. "Murder is always the best solution for you, isn't it? You're a bit too much like your uncle sometimes."

"Thank you," Janine said.

"Uh, this is nice and all, but what do we do now?" Gary whispered to Nando out of the corner of his mouth as he and the others awkwardly waved to the cheering crowd.

"Bring the show to an end. Take your well-deserved bows, to show that it's over," Nando said.

"We can do that," Mary said. They began to take their bows…

Until Gooey stirred and raised his head, light rekindling in his eyes. "Oh, but it's _far_ from over!"

The audience gasped, and the…er, protagonists jumped in surprise. "What? Oh, come on!" Evan said in annoyance.

"You _still_ won't stay down?" Maren asked in exasperation as Gooey struggled to right himself, a task not made easy by the fact that his tentacles were still tangled.

"You wanna go another round? Fine!" Mary said, clenching her fists. "But I think you'll find it a lot fighter to fight _all_ of us!"

"On the contrary…I am in no condition to fight you. None of us are," Gooey grunted. "Not after the beating you have given us. However…" He narrowed his eyes. "That does not mean you have won just yet…not by a long shot!"

Abruptly, Bug Fink and Sakurai burst into flames, rose into the air, and flew towards Gooey, orbiting him slowly at first but rapidly picking up speed. "Dad!" Jerry cried in alarm.

"What the…what isss he doing?" asked the confused Hissssa.

"I can sense a massive amount of power building up…this does not bode well!" Nando said.

"Nor should it!" Gooey boasted. "For you see, while our bodies our broken and defeated, our spirits live on…and with them, our unquenchable hatred for you, Team Nightshade! It is a hatred that shall burn brightly no matter how many setbacks we face, or how many defeats we suffer. It is a hatred that will consume you utterly…even if it takes our very last breaths to do so!" Eyes flashing red, he roared furiously as his body burst into red flames…

And exploded as the fireballs representing Sakurai and Bug Fink crashed into him, releasing the energy of a tremendous Frustration attack, the sheer hatred of Team Perdition for Team Nightshade manifesting itself as an unstoppable force of destruction which would annihilate the entire theater and everyone in it if that was what it took to kill the not-quite-heroes. Team Nightshade stared in horror at the apocalyptic flames rushing towards them, and the audience screamed, and then…

A silvery wall of light sprung up around the blast, creating a dome-shaped force field to contain the explosion as Nando thrust his sword into the ground, channeling his magic into the stage to try and stop the flames from ravaging everyone. Unfortunately, it didn't look like he could hold it up for much longer. "It doesssn't look like he can hold it up for much longer!" Evan cried.

"Nando!" Gary gasped.

"Rggh…get…everyone…out of here…" Nando gasped through gritted teeth, sweat rolling down his pink fur. "I'll hold it…as long as I can…save…the people…before…" He cried in pain and stumbled, causing everyone's hearts to skip a beat as the silver dome flickered and almost went out. "No…their hatred…it's so…strong…not even my magic can hold it…at bay!"

Mary laughed nervously. "Great…now I feel even worse for being the cause of that hate…"

"There must be something we can do!" Maren said anxiously.

"Run?" Evan suggested. "That'sss what the audienccce isss doing." This was true, the audience was screaming and rushing for the exits as fast as they could.

"Nando is fading fast…we won't even make it a few feet before his strength gives out and the flames overtake us!" Janine observed.

"You might…if _I_ lent a tail," Hissssa said, narrowing her eyes. She snarled, red and black energy crackling around her as she called upon the power of her bloodline, causing six shadowy heads to rise up around her. Hissing, she lunged forward, wrapping her body around the silver dome, dark energy crackling from her many necks into the shield to reinforce it.

"H-Hisssssssa, what are you doing?" Evan cried.

"Buying you time!" she hissed back. "Run, now!"

Nando gasped in relief, some of the strain vanishing from his face. "Many thanks," he said. "Now hurry, everyone! Get out of here while there's still time!"

"What? But what about you and Hissssa?" Gary protested.

"It will take all her strength and mine to keep this explosion in check…but we cannot hold it back forever! You must flee, before our strength fades and we _all_ die!" Nando said.

"But-but we can't leave you!" Mary protested, startling everyone who knew her well. "We're…we're a Rescue Team! We're supposed to _save_ lives, not let people die! We've…we've been doing that for too long now…"

"…Mary…" Gary whispered in astonishment, amazed and pleased by her change of heart.

"We can't leave you! _I_ can't leave you! Not after I finally found you again!" Evan wailed.

"_I'm_ the one who found you," Hiss said gently. "And I ssshall find you again, I promissse."

"You don't really think a little thing like thisss can kill a girl like me, do you?" Ssa asked. "My family isss renowned for our resssilienccce. It'll take more than thisss to kill me!"

"…Oh. Well, that'sss true…old Yamatorochi _wasss_ nigh invincccible, wasssn't he?" Evan recalled, looking somewhat mollified.

"And as for I…I am the High Priest of Cresselia, in one of her greatest temples on Earth! No force can destroy me here!" Nando said.

"R-really?" Gary asked.

"But of course! How else do you think I've managed to live this long? This wouldn't be the first near-fatal catastrophe I've had to avert that would have killed anyone else!" Nando said.

"You guysss are lesss likely to come out intact, though…which isss why you have to leave _now!_" Hissssa insisted.

"Go on, get out of here, all of you! We'll be right behind you, once this little trifle is dealt with!" Nando assured them.

"…All right. I…I guess we have no choice, huh?" Gary sighed. "No choice but to run…as always…that seems to be the only thing we're good at doing other than failing…"

"And sssinging," Evan said.

"…Huh. Yeah, we are good at that. I guess our performance wasn't that bad, was it?" Gary realized. "If we hadn't been interrupted by Gooey and the others…we might have even won the Compass piece fair and square…"

"You give yourself too little credit," Nando said. "You may yet obtain that shard through your own merit…but to do so, you'll need to live beyond these next few minutes! Flee, before this hatred overwhelms us! Oh, and you might want to take Hayzee, she's having a bit of a breakdown at the moment."

They glanced offstage, where they saw Hayzee, sobbing and hugging the Shard of Creativity to her chest while whimpering, "Ruined…it's all ruined…they've ruined everything…"

Team Nightshade sweatdropped. "Well, there's another person whose life we've ruined," Maren said morosely.

"Maybe my dad was right…you guys _do_ have a habit of causing trouble and suffering everywhere you go…" Jerry murmured.

Gary sighed. "It's our curse." He floated over to the Sunflora, who seemed to be oblivious to the roiling ball of fire and destruction nearby. "Hayzee, come on, we have to get out of here!"

"YOU! THIS IS YOUR FAULT!" Hayzee shrieked, pounding her leafy fists on Gary's chest. "EVERYTHING…YOU'VE DESTROYED EVERYTHING! THE THEATER, MY PLAY, MY CAREER, MY _LIFE…_THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"

"I know," Gary whispered, surprising her by wrapping his arms around her in a hug. "I know. It seems to be the only thing we're really good at doing, no matter how much we try not to. You have every right to hate and despise me and even try to kill me, and I welcome it with the full awareness that I've earned it…but you have to come with us now, or you're going to die, and then you won't be around long enough to make me suffer. Do you understand?"

"…I…I just…" Trembling, Hayzee's anger drained as she sagged against Gary's chest. "I just wanted to be famous…I wanted to make something people liked, something beautiful…"

"I know," he said. "I know. And it _was_ beautiful, Hayzee…and I'm sure you'll get the chance to do it again, but only if you survive this mess, which means we have to leave _now_, okay?"

"O…okay…" she whispered, leaning against him for support as he led her back to the others. Mary was too upset by everything and full of self-loathing to feel envious for a change.

"Everyone else has fled the theater," Nando intuited through his magic. "Which means it's just you and us here now."

"We'll hold the ssshield up until you get outssside," Hiss said.

"Onccce you leave the theater, _run_ and don't look back," Ssa added.

"And we'll see you after that…r-right?" Jerry asked.

"Of course," Nando said. "Now go! Fly, you fools!"

They did just that, running out of the theater as fast as they could. Once they were gone, Hiss asked, "Was that ssstuff you sssaid about sssurviving becaussse of being a priessst true?"

Nando laughed sadly. "I have absolutely no idea. And are you as resilient as your ancestor?"

"No clue," Ssa said. "But I think we're about to find out?"

Hiss closed her eyes. "Evan…I hope I can keep my promissse. But if not…then I'm sssorry for lying to you. At leassst I got to sssee you again."

"And I got to see the performance of a lifetime," Nando said. "They have left the building and should be out of range by now. It is time."

"Isss there no other way?" Hiss asked.

"It does not seem like it, no," Nando said.

Ssa sighed. "Figuresss…okay, on three. One…two…"

They didn't make it to three before their power finally gave out and the wrath of Team Perdition's Frustration engulfed them, destroying the Selene Theater in a terrible explosion.

…

All hope seemed lost for Sam and Max and Team Rocket. Despite their best efforts, Mewgle had cheated his way out of defeat, and now they were about to be devoured by the soul-eating monster Leviathan. As they stared bleakly into the beast's gaping jaws, Mewgle cackled insanely, eagerly anticipating their gruesome end…

An end that was put on hold when a missile streaked through the water and into the side of Leviathan's head, cutting off the beast's vacuum and causing it to roar in surprise. "What? Where did that come from?" Mewgle cried in surprise.

"Over there," Wabbaku said dully, pointing in disbelief.

Gardenia followed Wabbaku's arm and gawked incredulously. If she had had a jaw, it would have fallen open. "What…what the…"

"…I'm dreaming. I have to be dreaming," Jessie said. "Buzz, pinch me."

"Yes, Miss Jessie!" Buzz said, obediently pinching her.

"Ow, not that hard!" she snapped.

"Okay, it's conclusive: none of this is real and I'm in an insane asylum, and all of you are figments of my imagination, because there's no way something like that can possibly exist," Mondo said blankly.

"Why? What's so hard to believe about it?" James asked.

"…James. It's a _helicopter,_" Jessie said.

"Yes?" James said.

"UNDERWATER," Jessie elaborated.

James blinked. "…I think I'm missing something here." Jessie facepalmed.

"How…how the…how in the Abyss can that be here?" Mewgle screeched as he stared at the helicopter flying towards them, rotors churning through the water as if it were air. Not only that, but a pair of human babies with bazookas were dangling from its underside, and what looked like a Chimchar but with brown fur and no flames was piloting the flying machine, a thick cigar clamped between his teeth. And if _that_ weren't enough, much like Sam and Max, none of them were wearing helmets or diving suits and looked as if they had no problem breathing underwater. "If this were still a battle and that were a summon or limit break, I could see how they could get down here, but…but the battle's over! How can that _exist?"_

"Easy!" the ape in the cockpit said. "We flew here!"

"But…but…we're underwater…how…you can't…" Mewgle trailed off, eyes crossing as he gibbered madly, mind breaking at the impossibility of it all.

"Look Sam, it's the Rubber Pants Commandoes, led by the lovable Sergeant Blip!" Max said excitedly. "Oh boy, it's been years since we've seen them!"

Sam nodded. "It sure has, little buddy…"

"Wait. You _know_ them?" Gardenia cried.

"Sure. They're from our world," Max said.

"…Suddenly, much makes sense," Wabbaku said, eye twitching.

"Like how it doesn't make sense at all?" Gardenia asked.

"Precisely," Wabbaku said.

"Well, I guess it makes more sense than this being a dream. If it were a dream, I'd be a wealthy Beautifly who rules the whole world and is married to James," Jessie said.

"But Jessie, I'm gay," James said.

"Not in my dreams you aren't," Jessie said.

"I'm not convinced they aren't still delusions of my shattered mind, but I'll play along that they're aliens for now for lack of anything better to do," Mondo said.

"That's nice," Jessie said, not caring.

"Sam and Max! Long time no see!" Seargeant Blip called to the duo.

"It sure has!" Max said giddily.

"Sarge! What are you doing here? We thought you were dead! Mack Salmon said as much himself!" Sam called.

Blip laughed. "Ha! Reports of our deaths were greatly exaggerated! As if that two-bit piece of cod could really finish off the likes of us. No, we've been in hiding until the coast was clear for us to resume our identities. The Commissioner called us up and told us to get over here to get you out of this mess!"

"Awww, he really does care!" Max said, touched.

"I guess he's finally forgiven you for the time you ran over his wife," Sam said.

"It was an accident!" Max insisted.

"No it wasn't," Sam said.

"Yeah, it wasn't," Max agreed.

"I don't care who you are or where the Abyss you came from," Mewgle snapped, managing to regain his semblance of sanity through sheer force of will. "You should have stayed in your own world, because now you'll be eaten like the rest! Leviathan, destroy them!" Leviathan roared and opened its mouth, charging up for its breath attack.

"Phee-ew! Would you take a look at those teeth?" Blip said in disgust. "Looks like this guy needs some serious dental work, wouldn't you say, boys?"

"Yip, yip, yip!" the babies hooted.

"Why don't we pull out the big guns and give him some corrective surgery?" Blip hooted, pressing a button and causing hatches to open all over the helicopter, revealing missile launchers, gatling guns, machine guns, submachine guns, micromachine guns, macromachine guns, megamachine guns, biomachine guns, guns that fired machines, flaming machine guns, buzzsaw launchers, flaming buzzsaw launchers, acid sprayers, flaming acid sprayers, firestorm missile launchers, flaming firestorm missile launchers, chili pepper launchers, flaming chili pepper launchers, needle guns, flaming needle guns, harpoon launchers, torpedo launchers, harpoon torpedo launchers, flaming harpoon torpedo launchers, flamethrowers, flaming flamethrowers, chainsaw launchers, flaming chainsaw launchers, shuriken launchers, flaming shuriken launchers, oversized crossbows, flaming oversized crossbows, and a cigar lighter. The babies threw away their bazookas, reached into their diapers, and pulled out even BIGGER blasters that couldn't possibly have fit in their underwear. As Mewgle and the Rockets gaped in disbelief, the Commandoes opened fire, their many, MANY projectiles exploding in Leviathan's mouth and causing it to rear back in pain, howling as teeth and clouds of blood drifted away.

"That…that was…" Wabbaku stammered.

"How…how did the flaming things work underwater? We're underwater! Fire doesn't burn!" Gardenia screamed.

"I'm more confused about the nature of some of that ammunition…" Wabbaku murmured.

"Yep. Definitely delusions," Mondo reaffirmed. "This is all in my head and I'm in a straitjacket in a rubber room somewhere. Wonder if that means I'm hallucinating being a Snorlax too."

"You're not a Snorlax, you're a Ditto," James said.

"There you go, you just proved my point!" Mondo said cheerfully.

"Huh?" James said, not getting it.

"I think I'm starting to believe you…" Jessie groaned,

"That is sooooo COOL! Can I get one, Sam? Huh? Huh? Can I, huh?" Max pleaded.

"No little buddy, don't you remember what happened when you tricked out Marine One?" Sam reminded him.

"The White House needed some remodeling done anyway," Max said dismissively.

"That's…a pretty impressive arsenal, actually, but does it have anything capable of taking down a _demon_?" Mewgle asked, gathering power and forming a demonic energy ball in his hands.

"Yes, but we don't need to," Blip said. "We're leaving it up to her."

Mewgle blinked. "Her? Her who?" He got his answer when Sam and Max's DeSoto revved its motor and drove up the side of a building conveniently shaped like a ramp (score another one for the crazy architects of Hyperbeamorea!), launching off the end and flying through the water towards Mewgle. As the demon's eyes widened in astonishment, the car slammed into him, knocking him out of the watery skies and down into the city below. There was a tremendous explosion when they hit the ground, the current surging away from the blast buffeting the submarine and nearly knocking the people on the roof off.

"Hey, that was our car!" Sam realized.

"Yeah, we found her in a sorry state on our way to save you and couldn't leave her in the terrible condition she was in…that's why it took so long for us to get here, our consciences wouldn't let us leave her until she was shipshape and ready to wreak havoc on the highway again!" Blip said.

"Normally I'd be annoyed by the delay, but if it was for our car, then any inconvenience was worth it!" Max declared.

"Aside from the fact that it's probably destroyed now…" Wabbaku murmured.

"Nonsense, our car is indestructible!" Sam bragged. "I'd be worried for Mewgle, if I were you."

"Right now, I'm worried about Leviathan!" Gardenia cried in alarm as the giant monster recovered, roaring furiously and lunging towards the helicopter.

Blip grabbed the controls and veered out of the way, the monster's enormous head and serpentine body shooting past them while the babies blasted away at the monster's side with their cannons. The moaning corpses making up Leviathan's body opened their jaws wide and spat up energy blasts which cut through the water towards the helicopter, forcing Blip to take frantic evasive maneuvers to keep from getting perforated by the shots. "Whoa nelly! Looks like this thing might be a little tougher than I thought…" he murmured.

"Leviathan is a weapon of almost limitless power created back in the ancient Crisis Wars! It was so powerful that countless heroes and mages had to give up their lives to seal it away, because it could not be destroyed!" Wabbaku said.

"Oh yeah? That was then and this is now, and I may have a few tricks those old-timers never considered…" Blip said, looking longingly at a big red button on his control panel. "Sam, Max, and whoever the hell you other guys are! Get out of here! We'll take care of this big lummox!" Leviathan bellowed, came about, and charged towards them again. Blip maneuvered out of the way, the babies strafing the beast's sides as they passed to no visible effect.

"We can't leave, you'll be killed!" Wabbaku protested.

"Okay, let's go," said Sam.

Wabbaku started. "Wh-what? You're just going to abandon them?"

"Nah, they'll be fine," Sam said.

"Yeah, they're the Rubber Pants Commandoes! Nothing can stop them!" Max agreed.

"But…but…" Wabbaku protested.

"Well, you'll get no argument from me! I see no reason to stick around here and possibly get killed, let them have at each other if they're so eager to fight it out! I'm sure they have things in good paws…" Jessie said swiveling the sub's control wheel and turning the big Magikarp around. "And if they don't, then we'll be far away from here by the time they're done getting themselves killed! James, full speed ahead!"

"Right!" James said, pedaling harder…and causing the submarine to move only a little faster than it had already been going.

"James, I said full speed!" Jessie repeated.

"I'm doing the best I can!" James wailed, so much sweat running down his body that it caused the water level in the sub to rise. "I told you, I'm not cut out for this!"

"Don't worry talking baby clown that may be a representation of my unfulfilled childhood dreams, you can do it! I believe in you!" Mondo said.

"Mondo, you're not insane," Jessie said in exasperation.

"You're one to talk," Mondo replied.

Jessie frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"At least I'm just hallucinating. You actually think you're beautiful," Mondo said.

"…I'LL KILL YOU!" Jessie screamed, lunging at the Ditto and trying to claw his eyes out.

"Gaaaahhh! All right, all right, I take it back, I'm not insane! Hallucinations aren't supposed to hurt this much!" Mondo wailed.

"I can't believe we're just leaving them…" Wabbaku whispered as they (very slowly) swam away from Leviathan and the helicopter, explosions bursting in the water as they exchanged fire.

"We'd only get in the way if we stayed to help," Sam said. "They have everything under control." Leviathan's tail flicked into the side of the helicopter, sending it spinning wildly out of control as the babies wailed and Blip shouted words not suitable for their hearing.

"But just in case they don't, let's get out of here! Can't this piece of junk move any faster?" Max demanded, stomping on the submarine roof.

"Can't you cast some spell or something to get us out of here?" Gardenia asked Wabbaku.

Wabbaku frowned. "Well, I suppose I could beseech the water spirits to create a current to carry us away…yes, that should work. Ahem: Spirits of the sea, hear my plea, speed us away from this place with great alacrity!"

"Ala-what?" Max asked.

"Brisk and cheerful readiness," said Sam.

"Oh," said Max.

Bubbles and blue streamers of water swirled around Wabbaku before racing out to spiral around the submarine. Out of nowhere, a powerful current formed around the metal Magikarp, forcing the group on top of its roof to hold on tightly as the water flowed away from Hyperbeamorea, carrying them with it at incredible speeds. "Well, that's more like it!" Jessie said as she saw the landscape speeding past them through the portholes. "I knew you could do it if you tried!"

James blinked in surprise. "I didn't know I had it in me…" he confessed.

"Waaaaaahhhh!" Gardenia cried as she clung to the roof for dear life, trying not to be swept away by the current.

"Perhaps I should have asked them for something a tiny bit slower!" Wabbaku shouted.

"Nah, this is fine," Sam said casually, not looking like he was having any difficulty maintaining his grip. "We go faster than this all the time. If anything, this isn't fast _enough_!"

"Wheeeeeee!" Max squealed, the water pushing back his lips to reveal his gums and serrated fangs and making him look rather ghoulish. (More than usual, anyway.)

As the submarine was carried safely beyond the city limits, the Rubber Pants Commandoes continued their Growlithefight with Leviathan, bobbing and weaving and swerving all over the place to avoid the abomination's lunges and energy blasts and breath attacks, unloading everything they had with little effect but to make the monster even angrier. Eventually, the inevitable happened: they ran out of ammo. "What? Oh, come on! Not now!" Blip shrieked angrily as he pushed the 'fire' button repeatedly, only for a 'No Ammo' light to flash on his display. "Dammit…oh well, at least Sam and Max and those other guys got out safely, so it's mission accomplished. If this is really it, then I might as well go out with a bang!" He pressed the big red button he had been eyeing before.

The babies on the underside of the helicopter glanced up as a hatch opened above them and a huge missile with a radioactive symbol on the and a big smiley face with the words 'Have a nice day' painted on the warhead was lowered from it, Seargeant Blip sitting on top of it. He saluted them. "Gentlemen, it has been an honor and a privilege!" They blew Razz Berries at him. He stuck his thumbs in his ears and waggled his fingers at them. Leviathan roared to remind them it was there. "All right, all right, I'm coming!" He flipped open a panel on the surface of the missile and pressed a button. The missile's thrusters rumbled to life, blasting it away from the helicopter and sending it on a direct course for Leviathan. "Yippe-ki-yay, motherfuckeeeeeeerrrrrrrrr!" Blip whooped as he flew into the beast's gaping jaws.

The resulting explosion completely destroyed the city of Hyperbeamoria, engulfing the ruins in a ridiculously large and physics-defying mushroom cloud. The shockwave from the blast quickly caught up to the Team Rocket submarine, flinging it head over tail and nearly dislodging the four riding on its roof before Jessie managed to regain control of the vessel and right the Magikarp. "Well, that was quite the ride," Sam said, clinging to his hat.

"And quite the explosion!" Max said gleefully. "I wanna do that again!"

"Not now, Max," Sam said.

"Wabbaku, did…did they do that? Is it over?" Gardenia asked quietly, seeing how her future husband was staring in the direction of the explosion.

Wabbaku listened to the spirits for a moment. "No…" he whispered, his heart breaking. "They still live. Mickey's death, the sacrifice of those brave Commandoes…it was all for naught. Leviathan and Mewgle are still alive."

That was the last thing anyone said for a while as they despondently headed for the surface, the pall of failure and despair hanging heavily over all of them. Well, other than Max asking, "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet now?" until Sam threatened to shoot an ear off. Then Max asked which ear. Then everyone groaned, and James complained his legs were tired, and Mondo _really_ had to go to the bathroom, and…okay, it wasn't much of a silent ride at all.

…

Meanwhile, in Nihilator headquarters…

"Ah, at last you are here," Oblivion's Shadow said as Gardevoir and her Nihilator escorts entered a small, plain antechamber that seemed more like an airlock than a room.

"Sorry we took so long, sir, but the elevators-" the Exeggutor started.

"Were out of order, I know. There is very little in this fortress that I am not aware of," Oblivion's Shadow said.

_Heh, if only he knew,_ Kevin said, causing Gardevoir to struggle to hide a smirk.

"Thank you for bringing her. And now…" Oblivion's Shadow did not gesture, or glow, or show any visible displays of power, but Gardevoir could _feel_ his astonishing strength reach out and cause the heads of the Pokemon who had accompanied her to explode and most of the chains weighing her down (not all, of course, but most) to disintegrate. "You do not seem surprised," the Shadow noted when he saw that Gardevoir had not reacted to the execution, his voice and the face in his mirror mask changing to reflect her own.

Gardevoir _was_ surprised, but not for the reason he thought. Since her transformation to a vampire, her senses had been increased exponentially, allowing her to tell certain things about people just by looking at them. Things like their heartbeat, or body temperature, or even the scent of fear. As a psychic and empath, she was used to feeling things like this naturally, and had been gratified when her capability to read the feelings of others had been restored to her even if it was by a new and unfamiliar channel. Oblivion's Shadow, however…she couldn't detect anything about him at all. It was as if he were a void in space, that black cloak and armor of his radiating nothing. Nothing but a power so great that even now it rather daunted her.

She didn't say any of this out loud, of course. What she said instead was, "You did it the last time, too. I rather expected it, to be honest."

Oblivion's Shadow nodded. "Very well. Now, if you will come with me-"

"Wait," Gardevoir interrupted, a sudden sense of dread filling her, dread fueled by some of the worries of her friends and the rather…odd fantasies of Lovrina. "This isn't the part where you confess you're madly in love with me and try to seduce me to make me your queen of evil or whatever or, at the very least, turn me into some kind of sex slave, is it?"

This actually seemed to startle Oblivion's Shadow. "What? What gave you that idea?"

She shrugged. "Well, it's usually what a person like you does when he has a person like me alone and completely at their mercy." _Although I am not as helpless as I seem…if only it weren't for all these restraints Tarantulas put on me!_

"…Ah. I suppose that is true," Oblivion's Shadow admitted. "However, that is one thing you need not fear from me. While I will admit you are indeed an incredibly beautiful womon, that sort of thing has no such interest to me."

Gardevoir blinked. "…Er…you mean you're-"

"I mean that I do not have time to inconvenience myself with sexual urges of any kind," the Shadow elaborated. "While many of my minions allow their nether regions to control them, I am far too busy to bother with something like that. The only things about you that interest me are your unique condition…and your mind."

She sighed in relief. "Then it's a good thing one of those is out of your limits now."

"Is it?" Oblivion's Shadow asked. And suddenly her mind was flooded with his power, causing Gardevoir to gasp as yet again he tried to enter her mind and see what lay within. While she didn't think he could discover the secret of the rebel network simply by reading her mind, she couldn't risk that chance, and so she resisted, just as she had before. Just like the last time, it was incredibly difficult, for Oblivion's Shadow was VERY strong…but then again, so was she, stronger than ever now, and so both of them were surprised when she managed, with an effort of pure will, to repel him from her mind, causing him to stagger backwards in shock.

"How…how did you…" He narrowed his eyes at her, or rather, her reflection did. "Hmm. It seems I have underestimated you."

"And I you," she said. "How were you able to enter my mind? I'm part Dark-type now!"

"Oh, there are always ways to get around inconvenient trifles such as that…but I suppose further probing of your mind shall have to wait for another day," Oblivion's Shadow said enigmatically. The door behind him irised open with a pneumatic hiss. "Come." Seeing no other option, Gardevoir followed him, the door slamming shut behind her and sealing with an ominous click.

She wasn't sure what she had expected Oblivion's Shadow's lair to look like, but it certainly wasn't this. She found herself in a laboratory of remarkable size and complexity, one that rivaled even Tarantulas' in space and scientific prowess. Unlike the cyborg Ariados's lab, however, Oblivion's Shadow was immaculately clean and well-lit. There were no grisly or macabre bodies or mutilated specimens, no frightening-looking torture devices or machines of ominous intent, no bloodstains or webs or scattered body parts or weird bubbling chemicals; all the remarkable devices occupying many worktables and walls of the lab, while beyond Gardevoir's comprehension, looked rather orderly and not the least bit sinister, albeit rather fantastic. The only things that seemed rather creepy were the large liquid-filled tubes containing what looked like Pokemon fetuses at various stages of development. Gardevoir frowned when she noticed that several of them were Lucarios that looked oddly like Ash…or what Ash might have looked like at that age, anyway. "What is all this?" she murmured.

"Nothing for you to concern yourself with," the Shadow said curtly. "This way." He guided her down aisles between enormous databanks and tubes both occupied and empty, mechanisms and giant computers and holographic displays depicting things she hadn't the slightest chance of understanding towering over them on either side. She took good looks at all of it anyway, in hopes that her friends on the network could make something of it.

She frowned when they passed by several tanks full of floating balls of light in various shapes and colors. Most of them were floating aimlessly, but others were being bombarded by energy blasts, or being manipulated and torn apart by robot arms, or smashed into each other and broken apart, or other things she did not entirely understand. For some reason a deep part of herself was incredibly sickened and horrified, but she wasn't certain why. "What are those?"

"None of your concern," he repeated.

They passed through several more rooms of increasingly magnificent and unfathomable scientific endeavors before finally reaching another airlock antechamber. An opening covered by a force field was cut into one side, and from the way her skin started sizzling in proximity to it Gardevoir intuited it was made of solar energy. The Shadow gestured, and the energy field dissipated. He pointed inside. Rather reluctantly, she complied…

And was astonished to find herself in an exact replica of the palatial room she had been kept in prior to her transformation into a vampire, save for the fact that the walls were made of silver and the overhead lamps radiated light at a frequency that made her feel weak. "This looks just like my room from before," she said in amazement.

"I know," Oblivion's Shadow said as the energy field rose again, trapping her inside her new cell. "I had it designed to match that one precisely."

"But…why?" she asked in confusion. "I am your prisoner. Not even that, I am your _test_ subject. Why are you keeping me in a place like this?"

"Despite evidence to the contrary, I do not enjoy pointless torture or suffering. That is not to say I dislike it either, merely that I do not cause pain to others unless it serves a particular purpose," the Shadow said.

"…And torturing children and allowing your other prisoners to be raped and beaten and mutilated by the other Nihilators serves a purpose?" Gardevoir asked incredulously.

"Indeed, it keeps my minions under control by allowing them to vent their psychopathic tendencies on other targets rather than each other or myself," Oblivion's Shadow said. "In addition, that torment is necessary to me for other reasons. In my laboratory, however, you need fear no such ill treatment as you received from Tarantulas or Bellum. I am more interested in gaining hard results and learning knowledge than causing someone pain because it amuses me. If you are harmed during your stay here, it will not be out of malice."

She glared at him. "That doesn't reassure me."

"I did not think it would," the Shadow said.

"But that doesn't answer my question: why are you keeping me in a place like this, rather than a regular cell?" Gardevoir asked.

"I thought it would make you comfortable," he said.

"…And why do you care about my comfort?" she asked in alarm, wondering if perhaps his claims to asexuality had been less than true.

Oblivion's Shadow actually looked uncertain at this. "I…I'm not…" He shook his head. "It is irrelevant. You will stay here, or you can be moved to a silver-lined box like the one Tarantulas kept you in. Which would you prefer?"

"Are any of your _other_ guinea Grumpigs in quarters as nice as this?" Gardevoir asked.

"No, but they are certainly more comfortable than cells elsewhere…unless I deem it necessary to do otherwise," Oblivion's Shadow said.

"You're not making sense," she said, confused.

"Hmm. I suppose not." He shrugged. "It matters little. I need not explain myself to you. In any event, I have other matters to attend to at the moment, so I will leave you to your own devices. Escape is impossible. The solar energy field over the door will not kill you if you try to breach it, but it will certainly burn you badly enough that you will need a great deal of blood to recover. The lights above you will grow stronger should you attempt to use any of your powers to subvert me or try to find a way out until you feel physically ill, and the silver on the walls, floor, and beneath the carpet you're standing on is too thick for you to smash or dig through. I'm well aware you will probably try and find a way out in spite of that, and I welcome you to try your best; if you discover a weak spot it will help me understand your abilities more and teach me how to better contan your kind."

"I see," Gardevoir said, not sure she did at all. "And what sorts of experiments will you be doing on me once you get around to it?"

"A number of things Tarantulas and Bellum probably did not think to test you for, as narrow-minded as they are…and to see if a cure for your condition can be created," the Shadow said.

She blinked in surprise. "W-what? You want to _cure_ me? But why?"

"Why not?" he said enigmatically, before turning and leaving the room.

Feeling thoroughly bewildered, Gardevoir lay back on her bed, sinking into the plush mattress. _Well, Teacher?_ She thought. _What now?_

…

Meanwhile, at the Convocum Mysticus Fantastica…

"…And that's how I figured out how to make my urine all the colors of the rainbow!" the Lickitung Boffo the Obese the said, zipping up and finishing his…demonstration.

"That's…wonderful…" Lilian Meridian, a pretty Espeon with a beauty mark on her right cheek wbo was the announcer for the Convocum's big magical competition, said while trying to hide a look of disgust. "And tell me, how will your discovery benefit Pokemonkind?"

Boffo stared at her blankly. "How will it do what now?"

Lilian sweatdropped. "Right…well, let's see what our judges say…"

Raoul Convoca, a Magcargo mage of some renown (does that make him a Magecargo?) who was the main judge for the competition and the host of the Convocum for seven centuries in a row (as his name implied), made a face. "Disgusting. You can barely call that magic at all! Magic is about creating miracles, breaking the boundaries of convention and belief, defying the traditional and developing new wonders and innovations, making your wildest imaginings _real,_ not…playing with urine!"

"Remarkable!" said the second judge, an Abra named Mr. Sukizo, head of the Order of Merlin and the Magician's Club. "That is, remarkable you made it into this competition! You're a disgrace to sorcerers everywhere! Get off the stage!"

"Well dear, usually I'd say something nice and consoling here, but…" the final judge, Joy Prime, the Blissey matriarch of the entire far-flung Joy clan and head of the Healer's Guild, trailed off. "To put it plainly, that was just terrible. If I hadn't seen you do that on stage, I would have had you report to me in an instant to make sure you didn't have some sort of venereal disease. Actually, I might need to check you for one anyway, your genitals don't look quite right…"

Boffo burst into tears. "Screw you guys! You know NOTHING about art!"

"This isn't about art, it's about magic!" Convoca pointed out.

"…Oh. Well…screw you anyway!" Sobbing, the Lickitung ran off the stage.

"…Well. That was…interesting…" Lilian sighed. "Sorry folks, it looks like this year's competition is full of nothing but slim pickings…however, this next presentation should absolutely make up for the last several disappointments, since it's being delivered by your favorite enchantress and mine, four-time winner of the Rod of Merlin, Duchess of Fichina, Sexiest Womon Undead three hundred and seventy-five years in a row, CEO of the Fantasmagoria beauty and spellcrafting company, and head of more committees and philanthropic organizations than I can be bothered to remember right now (Oy, she sure finds a lot to do in her spare time, doesn't she? One of the benefits of immortality, I suppose…), the great Fantina Phantasma!"

The crowd of mages, witches, homunculi, dragons, interdimensional beings, mythical creatures, and other assorted magical lifeforms eagerly applauded as the lovely Mismagius appeared on the stage in a burst of white fire, the flames transforming into rainbow-hued Pidgey that flew over the audience, dropping Poke, coupons, and free beauty products and spell ingredients into the varied appendages of the overjoyed audience. "'Ello, everyone," Fantina said, bowing gracefully. "It is an 'onor to float 'ere before you zis day."

"Ah, this should be good," Convoca murmured in relief.

"Yes, Fantina always puts on a remarkable performance," Sukizo agreed.

"I still use her weight loss cream that transforms unnecessary body mass into fat-free food and alchemical reagents religiously!" Joy Prime said. Convoca and Sukizo glanced at her immense pink frame and wisely chose not to comment.

"So, Fantina, what magical marvel will you wow us with today?" Lilian asked.

"Oh, nozing much, just somezing zat will change magic as we know it forever," Fantina said with a smirk.

Lilian made a face. "What, _again?_" There were scattered laughs from the crowd.

"I'm afraid so," Fantina said apologetically. "But I doubt you will 'ave a problem with it for long. Observe." She concentrated, and suddenly a wardrobe with marvelously ornate carvings of mystical creatures and deities covering its surfaces appeared next to her.

Lilian looked at the piece of furniture curiously. "Ah, and what's this? A closet that can contain an infinite number of clothes that can also pick out the appropriate outfit for any occasion, so you don't have to waste time deciding what to wear yourself? A portal to a fantastical wonderland filled with religious symbolism? A vanishing cabinet that makes people invisible?"

"Oh no, nozing as complicated as zat," Fantina said.

"What, then?" Lilian asked.

"Nozing," said Fantina.

Lilian blinked. "Nothing?"

"Nozing at all. Zere is nozing magical about zis wardrobe whatsoever," Fantina said.

Everyone exchanged puzzled looks. "Er…then why are you showing it to us?" Lilian asked.

"It's not ze wardrobe zat matters, but where it came from," Fantina said gently.

"Okay…where did it come from?" Lilian asked.

"You tell me. I caused it to appear on stage out of zhin air. 'ow did I do zat?" the Mismagius said enigmatically, a wry smile on her face.

Lilian frowned. "Er…conjured it, I guess. From somewhere else, be it your magnificent estate in Fichina, your hotel room, your personal pocket dimension…"

"Wrong," Fantina said. "It came from none of zose places."

"Okay…then where did it come from?" Lilian asked.

Fantina chuckled. "When I said 'zhin air', I meant it. I did not just summon the wardrobe…I _created_ it from stray air molecules zhrough sheer force of will, a feat zhought only to be possible to gods and ze most powerful Psychics! But zhrough decades of intense magical experimentation, I too 'ave gained zis ability…ze truest expression of 'mind over matter!'"

The audience gasped in astonishment. Lilian's jaw dropped. "Wh-what? You…you figured out how to…but that's incredible!"

"More like remarkable!" Convoca said.

Sukizo frowned. "Hey, that's my line!"

"Fantina, while I have no reason to disbelieve you, given your record…procedure requires you to confirm this. Can you prove that you have indeed mastered a power that some of the world's greatest wizards have been trying to figure out for centuries with no success?" Joy Prime asked.

"Certainly. Zere is a simple way to verify ze auzenticity of my claim," Fantina said. She concentrated and another wardrobe identical to the one she had allegedly created appeared on stage. "Zis wardrobe I conjured out of my personal pocket, and 'as been in my family for generations. Ze first wardrobe is an exact copy. If you use a simple age-checking spell, you will see one wardrobe is older zan ze ozzer, and zat ze younger wardrobe has only been in existence for but a few moments, and was zerefore created from nozzingness razzer zan simply conjured!"

Convoca nodded. "That should be easy enough to test. Age-checking spells can't be tricked, not even by artificial aging…" He murmured under his breath, eyes lighting up and projecting beams that scanned the wardrobes. "Hmm…it's just as she said. The first one is only a couple of minutes old, but the second one is several HUNDRED years old."

"Than it's true! Fantina has cracked one of the greatest mysteries of modern magic!" Sukizao declared ecstatically. "Remarkable!" The audience applauded.

"Amazing, Fantina! But how does this discovery of yours work?" Lilian asked eagerly, thinking about all the kinds of things she could create from thin air if she had the power to.

"It's pretty easy, really. Surprisingly so. It's amazing nobody else 'as figured it out before now," Fantina said. "Zere are no chants, no rituals, no complex spellforms or sacrifices involved. All you 'ave to do is _believe._ Magic 'as always been about turning zhoughts into reality. Zis is simply an extension of zat. All of us can make zings 'appen just by willing it, zis is going one step furzer. Razzer zan commanding ze elements or summoning zings from elsewhere, wiz enough concentration it is actually possible to make ze tiniest molecules obey your every whim and create almost _anyzing_ you set your mind to, even ze rarest and most powerful of magical items." She demonstrated by creating a Ho-Oh feather, a Philosopher's Stone, and a Prismatic Sword of +12 Luminosity, much to the amazement of the audience.

Convoca quickly did another age-checking spell. "It's true! They're only seconds old, and completely authentic! She managed to create objects that can take the most highly trained wizards decades to fashion, and only at the expense of countless resources, without any effort at all!" he said in wonder.

"Remarkable!" Sukizo said, before anyone else could say it.

"Well, not wizzout _some_ effort," Fantina said, wiping away some sweat. "Ze more complex ze object I zink of, ze more concentration and energy it takes to craft it. Even so, it is still _much_ easier to do zen making zem ze old-fashioned way."

"Incredible! Can anyone do this? You said that all we have to do is believe?" Lilian asked.

Fantina nodded. "Yes! Well…zat, and recite zis magical formula I 'ave concocted in your 'ead every time you want to make somezing. It's easy to memorize, zhough. 'owever…"

"Uh oh. What's the catch?" Lilian asked, her heart sinking.

"Zere are only two downsides zat I 'ave discovered so far: First, zis technique cannot be used to create living zings, only inanimate objects, zhough I am not sure if it is because zis power cannot replicate life or because I am not willing to play Arceus like zat. Second, ze technique requires a great deal of willpower and magical talent, since one must concentrate quite a lot of focus and sheer power to manipulate so many tiny objects to do what you wish."

"…Oh. So…it's not something that the average magician will ever be capable of doing," Lilian said in disappointment.

"I did not say zat," Fantina said. "Zis ability is still in its testing phases. I am working on ways to make it more available to ze magical public, but it will take some time until I find a way for _everyone_ to use it, regardless of zeir power or will. Just imagine ze possibilities!"

"I can…" Convoca murmured. "Perhaps a little too well. Amateur magicians would generate all the money and gold they wished, and destroy the economy in the process."

"Or create alchemical reagents and spell ingredients rather than purchasing them, putting companies like your own out of business, Fantina. Heck, why even bother with ingredients if you could just make a potion or weapon or an entire magical artifact of great power from scratch just by willing it into being!" Sukizo said.

"And if _everyone_ could create whatever they wanted, they could tear the world apart by turning earth-shattering weapons against each other, escalating the petty and occasionally disastrous feuds that go on already to utterly catastrophic levels!" said the alarmed Joy. "And then there's what could be made if evil wizards managed to use it…" Most of the audience glanced at the practitioners of the dark arts among them, who whistled nonchalantly and tried not to look like they were salivating at the prospect of all they could do if this power were in their hands.

Fantina nodded. "I am well aware of ze potential consequences and ways my formula can be abused. 'Owever, remember zat knowing ze formula is not enough, you must have ze willpower and magical prowess to use it properly. Weaker mages will only be able to create a limited range of items wiz ze small degree of power zey possess. Stronger mages may indeed be capable of causing such disasters as you are afraid of, 'owever, which is why I am still tinkering wiz ze formula to see if zere is a way to limit what zey can create as well, or make what zey _can_ create less potent zan things made ze old-fashioned way. Once I am certain zat my formula cannot be used to cause 'arm to ozzers or destroy ze world, I will release ze edited version to ze public."

"But what about the potential danger it can pose to the economy?" Convoca pressed.

Fantina smiled. "You are worrying yourselves for nozing. Most businessmages already use spells to determine whezer or not zey are being paid in phony magic-crafted cash. By tweaking zose spells a little, zey should be able to check ze age of ze Poke zey are paid in to make sure it wasn't made too recently. As for your fears zat zis formula will put ingredient suppliers out of business, remember zat ze rarest and most potent spell materials will still be beyond ze capability of most mages to create zhrough zhought, so zere will always be demand for an industry zat can provide zem to ze common enchanter."

"Well, that's a bit of a relief," Joy Prime said.

"Yes…ah, I don't suppose you could provide the Order of Merlin with the current iteration of your formula, Fantina? It would be in the best interests of everyone if we had access to such knowledge…" Mr. Sukizo said.

Fantina frowned. "I would razzer not, if zat's all right wiz you. At ze moment, I do not trust anyone but myself wiz zis formula…it is too dangerous in its current form."

"But surely you can trust us!" Sukizo spluttered, trying not to let greed and desperation show on his face. "After all, we know what is best for the magical world!"

"Of course you do," Fantina said sweetly. "Which is why you also know zat it will be best for everyone to 'ave access to a safer version of ze formula, razzer zan 'oarding a more powerful and dangerous version in ze 'ands of an elite few."

"But…but that's…" Sukizo hesitated, aware of all eyes on him. "Er…exactly right…" Face somewhat red, he looked down at his tightly clenched hands.

"While I agree with your sentiments, Fantina, doesn't that same logic apply to you?" Convoca asked somewhat pointedly. "Is it right for only you to have the original version of the formula, and nobody else?"

Fantina shrugged. "I do not see why not. I will release a safer version of it to ze public once I 'ave discovered it, and aside from zat, I trust myself to make sure zat I will not abuse zis power."

"So…basically, you're asking us to trust you," Joy Prime said.

"Yes. Don't you already?" Fantina asked innocently. Reluctantly, the judges had to admit they did, as did most of the people in the audience. Even the numerous evil sorcerors jealous of Fantina's success had to grudgingly agree that she could probably be relied upon not to use this marvelous formula for personal gain. It wasn't the sort of thing she did.

"Well, we look forward to seeing this completed formula once it's finished, Fantina," Convoca said. "What you've shown us so far, however, indicates it will no doubt revolutionize the world of magic as we know it…again. You seem to have a tendency of doing that…" _And not that it's a bad thing, but do you think you could slow down with all these world-shaking discoveries once in a while? Not everyone can keep up to you…_ he thought to himself.

"Indeed, it will be remarkable to have the ability to create whatever we wish from thin air!" Sukizo agreed. _Now if only you'd give us the complete version, you sanctimonious witch…_

"It'll certainly mean I have to pay less for my medical suppliers," Joy Prime joked. _Such a nice womon. She could theoretically use a power such as this to take over the world, but instead she's only trying to think of ways for everyone to use it! If only more wizards could be like her…then maybe I wouldn't have to treat so many people for curses and spell damage inflicted in petty arguments that spiraled out of control…_

"I eagerly look forward to the final version of this formula, along with whatever other marvels you'll come up with between now and the next Convocum…why, if I were the judges, I'd just forget the rest of the competitors and give you the Rod of Merlin right now for such an amazing discovery!" The judges glared at Lilian, and she coughed, remembering her place. "But, uh, I'm not the judges, and this show is far from over, so let's see if any of your colleagues can come up with something that can beat your presentation!"

"Oh, but I will Fantina, I will…" Bellum murmured darkly as she, Brodie, and Marianne watched the proceedings from backstage through a ceiling-mounted crystal ball along with the other remaining entrants, most of whom were also a little sullen and annoyed that Fantina had come up with something that blew the rest of them out of the water yet again. (Didn't the womon have enough Rods of Merlin and other awards already? Sheesh, give someone else a chance once in a while!) "Creating matter from thin air is good, I'll grant you that much…but this year, it's nothing compared to what I have planned!"

"I dunno, literal mind over matter seems pretty hard to beat," Brodie said.

"Yes, but I have vampires! VAMPIRES! Everyone loves vampires! Why else would there be so many books and movies and television shows about naïve and attractive young womons having vivid romances with them?" Bellum asked. Marianne, who happened to love that genre and had fantasies and wrote fanfics about having a romance of her own with a vampire, blushed, red electricity crackling all over her. She wondered if her mother knew she'd been eyeing that Wooper they had prisoner. She thought he was kind of cute.

"Hmm, that's true, lots of people like vampires…for some reason…" Brodie said. "I'm more of a zombie guy myself, actually. I was considering raising an army of them back in Twilight's Edge to help me with my nefarious plans, actually, but some weirdo with nipple rings beat me to it."

Bellum paused. "Er, when you say you're a zombie guy, you just mean that you like that genre, not that you…"

"What? Ew, no, I'm not a necrophiliac!" Brodie said in disgust.

"There's nothing wrong with being a necrophiliac, you know. Lots of people are into Ghosts like myself," Bellum pointed out, somewhat offended.

"Yes, but you guys aren't rotting corpes, have fully functioning sexual organs, and don't have a crawing for brains," Brodie said.

"That's true," Bellum admitted. Marianne, who in fact loved fried brains and ate them whenever she could, fidgeted but said nothing.

"Anyway, while Fantina's formula has some very practical uses—oh, if only I knew it!—she's too much of a goody-goody to let anyone else know it until she comes up with a way for it to be used without potentially ending the world, which I suppose I applaud in principle since that's supposed to be _my_ job, but I'm too jealous and petty to admit as much," Bellum said.

"You just did," Brodie said.

Bellum ignored him. "It will take her decades, if not longer, to come up with something she feels comfortable with. I, on the other hand, have no such moral compunctions regarding what _my_ discovery can be used for, and can make it available _now_, not sometime in the distant future. Once they realize that, and all the possibilities my vampires will make available to them, the judges are sure to award me the Rod of Merlin…and I will finally have beaten Fantina! Kyahahahahahahaha!"

The trio of vampires, trapped in their frozen cages, shivered as they heard the witch's laughter…but they refused to give in to despair, holding fast to their solidarity and their not-quite-psychic link to each other, trusting in the Teacher's plan to get them out of this. It was a long shot, but if it worked…

If it worked, then they just might have a chance at freedom, and at saving their friends.

…

Phew, this took a LOT longer to finish than I would have liked. Oh well, at least it's not as long as the last chapter, right?

Next chapter will bring most of the current plot threads in this arc to a close and open up a whole new mess of subplots for the next arc, as usual, as well as checking in on a certain someone we haven't seen for a long time now. Bet you're looking forward to that, right?

Hopefully, that chapter won't be as long or at least won't take as long to finish. Sorry again for the long wait, but you know how school is.

See you next chapter!


	49. Whatever happened to whatshername? pt 5

Well, school's a bitch, which is hardly a surprise. But now that this chapter is FINALLY done and this arc is officially over, we can look forward to bigger and brighter things…

Involving trains! But that'll have to wait until after the loose ends have been tied up in this chapter, so you'll have to wait just a liiiiittle bit longer. It'll be worth it though, right? If you thought _this_ arc was insane, wait'll you see some of the things I've got planned for the next one! It'll blow your mind! In a good way. I think.

But first we have to get through this chapter, so until then, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me. I'd list what I've appropriated/referenced/ripped-off, but it would take forever and I'm not sure it's worth it. Do you? Yeah, I didn't think so.

…

In the lair of Oblivion's Shadow…

_Kevin, why haven't you brought me that blood already? You said you'd get it to me first thing!_ Lovrina yowled anxiously.

_I'm en route to your quarters as we speak. I promise I'll be there soon,_ the Kecleon said.

_Oh, all right…but don't take too long! If you don't get here soon…_he_ might get to me first,_ Lovrina said fearfully.

_Don't worry, little one, you will be one of us soon enough, _the vampire Hitmochan assured her. _You were promised the gift, and so you shall receive it. And once you have it…you shall make your tormentor pay for what he has done to you._

_Like you've made your tormentors pay for what they've done to you?_ The janitor asked.

_We're…getting to that,_ the Doduo said Mareepishly.

_And I hope Kevin gets to giving me that blood before…before _he_ gives me something else…_ Lovrina whimpered in terror.

_I'm going to make it, okay? Don't worry. I'll be there,_ Kevin assured her.

_Lovrina may be right to feel uneasy about waiting much longer, and not just because of her present dilemma…if what Gardevoir saw in the Shadow's lair is anything to go by, we may have to move up our plans again…_ the Teacher said, sounding concerned.

_What's the matter, Teacher?_ Gardevoir asked, sensing her mentor's fear and worry through the network, as did everyone else, causing their own uncertainty to grow. No matter what obstacles had been thrown in their path or what horrors the burgeoning resistance had faced, nothing had fazed their alien leader. That meant that whatever Oblivion's Shadow was working on must be _really_ bad if it had spooked him…

_I knew the Shadow was doing something truly heinous…but this is worse than I had ever imagined…_ the Teacher murmured. _Gardevoir, those balls of light you saw, that he was doing experiments on? Those were souls. Oblivion's Shadow is maiming the souls of his victims (and Tarantulas', and Bellum's too, I suppose), refusing them their final rest so that he may study them and understand their inner workings, what makes them think and feel, how they can create sentience in the bodies of those they inhabit, retain the memories of every life they have experienced in their innermost depths, the way they interact with life-forms to bring out both the best and worst in mortals…and possibly even how to _create_ them, a blasphemy beyond all compare._

Everyone in the network was shocked speechless at this awful revelation. _He's…he's doing _what_ with them?_ A guard cried in horror.

_And they call us monsters! _The Hitmonchan said indignantly.

_Who calls us that?_ Asked the confused Doduo. _We've only been vampires for a few days at most, and nobody outside of Tarantulas's lab has seen us. I'm not sure anyone outside the upper echelons even knows we exist._

_Well…_someone_ must think of us as monsters…somewhere…_ the Hitmonchan muttered.

_Not me!_ Lovrina squealed. _I think you're to die for. Literally. Since by becoming one of you, I'll die and come back-_

_We get it, Lovrina,_ Kevin said testily.

_She's got a point, though. If Lovrina's anything to go by, most people these days see vampires as enigmatic and sexy rather than things to be scared of,_ a technician said.

…_I am not certain if I should be pleased or disturbed by that,_ the Hitmonchan muttered. _Regardless, even if we were monsters, which we aren't, we wouldn't be as bad as Oblivion's Shadow. We take blood, not souls._

_Er, didn't the Mistress sort of make our souls hers—and in turn, the network's-when we were infected and turned into vampires?_ The Doduo asked.

_Well, yes, but she was nice about it. And it's not exactly like she had a choice in the matter,_ the Hitmonchan said. Gardevoir sweatdropped.

_You know, I'm _really _glad that we're all part of a mystical network so that even if we die our souls remain connected…_ one of the many dead rebels in the network murmured. _And we can't become the playthings of a psychopath…not anymore, anyway._

_But everyone else in this fortress is not so lucky. Teacher, are you saying that everyone who dies here that is not a Nihilator or one of us, the Shadow…_ Gardevoir whispered.

_Takes them? Makes them his own? Inflicts unthinkable horrors on them in the name of furthering his knowledge of the secrets of life? I am afraid so,_ the Teacher said solemnly.

_Huh, 'doesn't cause suffering without purpose' my ass!_ Kevin snorted.

_Well, there go most of my fantasies about you two hooking up,_ Lovrina said to Gardevoir.

…Most?Gardevoir asked incredulously.

_Well, yeah, I admit that he may be _really _bad, but I still think he can be healed by the power of wuv!_ Lovrina chirped.

…_You are a sad, twisted little girl,_ the chef said finally.

_You're even more deluded than I thought. Why are we giving you vampire blood again?_ Kevin wondered. _I mean…well, other than the obvious…_ he quickly amended when a feeling of shock and hurt radiated from Lovrina.

_You think she's got it bad? Why not give it to someone who actually needs it, say, a prisoner who's tortured and raped several times a day?_ a prisoner asked hopefully.

_Oh yes, and your breaking out and brutally murdering your captors won't look the _least_ bit suspicious, _a guard said snidely.

_Eat shit and die,_ the prisoner grumbled.

_Won't do anything, he'll still be here,_ said one of the myriad deceased in the network.

_Yep, you'll never get rid of us,_ the guard said.

_Wonderful…_ the prisoner grumbled.

_I am afraid that is not all he is doing,_ the Teacher said. _Those machines in his laboratory…several of them are beyond even _my_ comprehension, but others…they appear to be devices designed to absorb emotions and transform them into energy._

_What kind of emotions?_ The dead vampire Nosepass asked.

_Fear. Hate. Suffering. Rage. Pain. Despair. That sort of thing. The whole gamut of negative feelings,_ the Teacher said.

Gardevoir frowned. _He said he does not cause suffering without purpose…then does that mean the reason he causes so much misery is to generate power? But what for?_

_We already know he seeks to revive the Ruler of Evil. The Ruler of Evil and its minions, like many other malevolent beings of great and terrible power, _FEED _on negative energy like that. Even if the unthinkable were to happen and the Ruler is resurrected, it would still be weak after its eons of imprisonment. But if it should feed upon the emotions Oblivion's Shadow is gathering…_ the Teacher said.

_It could get back up to full power again in no time? That's not good!_ Kevin said.

_We have to do something! _Gardevoir said.

_Indeed we must,_ the Teacher agreed. _Before it is too late. For all of us…_

Gardevoir examined her cell and the many safeguards sealing her in. _Then I think it's high time we figure out a way to get me out of this prison. Even with my power restrained, I was able to repel Oblivion's Shadow's mind probes._ She grinned, baring her fangs. _I wonder what I could do if I were able to call upon my full strength?_

_I believe we shall find out soon enough,_ the Teacher said approvingly. _All right. Here is what I think we should do…_

And speak of the devil, or rather, the mysterious mirror-masked madmon…

Not too far away, Oblivion's Shadow stood in a large cylindrical room, gazing upon a large mass of jagged purple crystals about the size of a Pinap Berry suspended in an anti-gravity field in the center of the room. Lumps of strange glowing blueish rock had been placed in rings on the floor and ceiling surrounding the field, and were bathing the crystal in blue light, causing it to pulsate and glow. Oblivion's Shadow examined a console nearby and made a few adjustments, causing the light from the blue rocks to intensify and make the crystal glow brighter. "Excellent…" he murmured. "It won't be much longer now. Gardevoir's sudden case of vampirism was an unfortunate turn of events, but only a minor setback. Thanks to my backup 'maiden,' everything can continue as planned."

"Are you talking to us, or to yourself?" a bored voice asked from the side of the room.

Oblivion's Shadow was not alone in the chamber. Three cells lined the walls, with doors leading elsewhere into the Shadow's private laboratory placed between the prisons. Each cell contained a very rare and very valuable Pokémon. In one was a large red and gold phoenix who might have been magnificent were she not being constantly blasted to smithereens by disintegrator beams, only to resurrect moments later from her own ashes in a burst of flame, causing the beams to fire and kill and revive her again in a vicious cycle of birth and death, her screams of agony and unending torment drowned out by the soundproof walls and energy field containing her in her cell. The other two prisoners were no less majestic, but thankfully did not appear to be suffering, at least not at the moment. One was a beautiful swan-like Pokémon with blue, yellow, and magenta coloration, a yellow head ornament resembling a crescent moon, and glowing pink ring-like wings on her sides and back. She was none other than Darkrai's wife and Oblivion's Shadow's hostage, Cresselia, lady of the Moon. The last prisoner was an even more exalted personage: a gray and pink two-tailed fairy-like Pokémon with bright yellow eyes. She was Mesprit, the Being of Emotion, and one of Arceus's firstborn children. How did Oblivion's Shadow manage to capture one such as her? Surely not even Hunter J could have snared a being like Mesprit…could she?

"I am talking to myself because I have a penchant for intelligent conversation," Oblivion's Shadow replied to Cresselia, the one to question him.

The mistress of dreams laughed harshly, her voice still managing to sound as clear and strident as a bell despite the bitterness behind it. "Ha! He thinks he's witty! How clever of him. Like I haven't heard much better sarcasm from my husband, who I assure you will visit nightmares beyond your wildest imaginings upon you once I am finally free."

"There are no horrors your husband holds in his dark realm that can possibly be worse than what is already inside my head," Oblivion's Shadow said.

"You're going to fail," Mesprit said softly, not with her mouth and not with her mind, but with some other voice Oblivion's Shadow had been unable to drown out despite his best attempts to screen her cell, a voice that resonated in the core of his being and made him feel emotions that he had thought to be long buried, emotions it was rather…unpleasant to experience again. There were times he wondered whether the prison he had built for her, despite being made from metal dating back to the dawn of the universe and reinforced by some of the most ancient and powerful magic and most advanced technology he had been able to get his hands on, was really keeping her in place, or if she only remained in his keeping because she chose to.

"I am not going to fail," Oblivion's Shadow said, his mask attempting to duplicate Mesprit's face and voice…and glitching, as it always did, much to his frustration.

Mesprit shook her head. "Yes you are. You have no idea what you're doing."

"I know _exactly_ what I'm doing. I have everything under control," the Shadow snapped.

"No you don't." The fairy goddess smiled enigmatically. "You think you know what's happening around you. You think that you are aware of everything that's going on in your fortress and on Earth. You couldn't be more wrong."

"And how would _you_ possibly know more than I?" the Shadow asked, miffed. "You are trapped here in this room. I have severed all contact you could have, psychic or emotionally, with the outside world. You can read no minds and sense no hearts. (Or so he hoped, anyway) What could you know that I do not? About what is happening currently, rather than things in the distant past," he added quickly, before she could lecture him about all the things she had seen in the countless eons that she had experienced since the beginning of creation before he had even been the beginning of an idea in the mind of his maker.

Mesprit shook her head sadly. "You still think you have me trapped here? While my body is indeed your prisoner, you can never cage my spirit. And I mean that literally, since I can use astral projection."

"Is that so? I seem to have done a good job of containing the other souls in my possession," Oblivion's Shadow said skeptically.

"My spirit is not the same as theirs," Mesprit pointed out, which the Shadow reluctantly had to admit was true. The soul of one of the very first beings to be created by Arceus was certainly of a much higher order than that of those the Shadow had in his collection. He made a note to try and find a way to strengthen the seals on her cell even more. There had to be some way to keep her under his thumb…

"And what is going on that I am unaware of?" Oblivion's Shadow asked.

"Now why would I tell you that?" Mesprit asked with a smile. "If your plans succeed, it will mean the end of everything. Therefore, it is in my best interests to remain silent."

"There are ways I could extract the information from you," the Shadow threatened.

"Your torture is meaningless to me," Mesprit said calmly. "While I am certainly capable of feeling the sensation you know as 'pain,' I can choose not to feel it if becomes too uncomfortable, and my mind is too well-fortified for even your astonishingly powerful brain to penetrate it. I will never tell you anything unless it is my wish to."

"Not even if I harmed Cresselia?" Oblivion's Shadow asked, causing the Lunar Pokémon to blink in surprise. "Or brought someone else up to torture before your eyes?"

"Not even then," Mesprit said. "I will empathize with their pain, just as I empathize with the pain of all. But even though it will make my heart weep, I shall not reveal my secrets. They are far too important. All I will say is this: your plan will not succeed. Even should you open the door, even should you resurrect the Ruler of Evil, all you will accomplish is causing pointless suffering to yourself and to others. While your scheme is grand and your intentions noble, no matter how misguided…ultimately, you cannot win."

"…I refuse to believe that," the Shadow said, trying to conceal how much the fairy's words were troubling him.

Mesprit smiled sadly. "And that is why you will fail. Why you will ignore all my entreaties and pleas, even if deep down a part of you suspects what I say is true…because you believe that if you turn back now, after everything you've done to get this far…all of it will have been for nothing. It is pride that will doom you, as it always is for your kind."

Oblivion's Shadow suppressed his anger and surprise. He supposed he should not be so startled that she could read him so well, after all, she _was_ the source of all emotions. Still, he'd thought he had better control over his own heart than that… "Are you sure that is not _your_ pride speaking? The refusal to admit that possibly, just possibly, one such as I could accomplish something that your kind, who rules the Omniverse and controls all that lives and breathes, never even dared to imagine?"

"Oh, we've imagined it all right," Mesprit said. "And seen what the consequences were. And know that sometimes, some things are better left alone."

"If pride and refusing to give up is my weakness, then yours is the inability to change," Oblivion's Shadow scoffed. "The Omniverse cannot go on as it currently is. Not forever. Change is required…a change I will bring about, no matter what the cost."

Mesprit shook her head pityingly. "The fact that you would even say such things only proves how little you truly understand of the world around us. Despite all your research and experimentation and centuries of planning…ultimately, you know nothing of how the heart works, or the true nature of the reality we live in."

"And you're going to tell me that I'm meddling with forces I can't possibly comprehend?" the Shadow sneered. "Typical deity."

"Oh, you're perfectly capable of comprehending them," Mesprit retorted. "You just choose not to. The answers are right in front of you, but you won't accept them, because it'll mean you were wrong."

"And why should I believe anything you say? Any words you speak must be considered suspect, an attempt to confuse me and release you from my holding," the Shadow asked.

"I speak nothing but the truth. You simply don't want to think it is," Mesprit said.

"Enough of this," the Shadow growled, abruptly turning away. "I have more important matters to deal with than this. You are only trying to dissuade me from doing something far greater than you well-meaning sanctimonious 'Guardians' could ever accomplish. I know what I am doing. I have everything under…" He paused, noticing something reflected in one of the facets of the purple crystal. "Control?" He whirled around and looked in alarm at the air behind them, then back at the crystal, and then back at the empty space. Abruptly, he left the room, cloak billowing out behind him as he departed.

Cresselia blinked. "What was that all about?"

"Nothing important," Mesprit said, though the enigmatic smile on her face said otherwise. "But now that he's gone…we must speak of our newest neighbor, your husband's newest pawn to secure your release. She could prove most useful to us…"

In an adjacent hallway, Oblivion's Shadow purposefully strode away from the room he had just left, refusing to slow down or look over his shoulder or acknowledge in any way the presence following him. After all, it wasn't there, and only madmon spoke to hallucinations, which he most certainly wasn't…right?

"Why are you running away from me?" the thing-that-wasn't asked plaintively, its achingly beautiful and kind voice choked with sadness. "Don't you love me anymore?"

Oblivion's Shadow stiffened and stopped in his tracks. "You are not real. There is nothing for me to love."

"Not real? Is that all you can say to me? Your own mother?" the voice asked, sounding even more hurt.

Oblivion's Shadow clenched his hands. "You are not my mother."

"Of course I am, in every way that counts. You never said it to my face—even back then, you were always too proud to admit it!—but I didn't need to read your mind to know that's how you felt about me," the voice said softly.

"…That was a long time ago. And that does not change the fact that you _aren't_ my mother. You are nothing but a figment of my imagination, a lingering sentiment of the past that I forsake long ago, a reminder of a life that never was that continues to haunt me no matter how far I try to distance myself from it," the Shadow said.

"You can't run from your past forever…and what do you mean, _never was?_ What you had back then was real, as real as anything could ever be!" the voice insisted.

"As real as you are?" the Shadow sneered.

"Most certainly," said the voice.

"Then you only confirm my words as truth, that my friends, my family, my _life…_were nothing more than a fantasy, an ephemeral bubble just waiting for the cruel spike of reality to pop it and show me what the world _really_ is," the Shadow snarled. "For you are naught but an illusion, which was all that my happiness ever was."

"I am no illusion," the voice asserted.

"Are you, now?" the Shadow snapped, angrily spinning around to confront the apparition. "You cannot be here, Mother. You are in the ground, where I put you. You cannot be with me in this time, this place! You are not real!"

"Just saying that over and over isn't going to make it true," the voice said.

"I know truth from illusion. I know reality from fantasy. And that is how I know you cannot exist!" the Shadow growled.

"You know truth from illusion? Really? And yet you believe that your plan will actually work? If there's any fantasy here, my son, it's what's in your mind. You are deluding yourself. Your efforts to make things right will only cause untold destruction and sorrow," the voice said sternly.

The Shadow shrugged uncaringly. "Of course you would say that. You are the manifestation of my doubts and uncertainties, that niggling piece of guilt and worry that won't stop eating at me no matter how hard I scour my soul. Mesprit's attempts to bewilder me are causing you to manifest, to try and make me buy into her deceit. I won't hear it. I am the master of my own mind, and you have no place in it. Begone."

He turned and walked away…but of course, that wasn't the end of it. Much to his frustration, the voice continued to bother him. "No matter what you think I am or what lies you continue to tell yourself, I will not give up. I will continue to come to you until you see the error of your ways and stop this madness."

"Of course you'd say that, that's exactly what the real you would say. What a marvelously lifelike hallucination you are!" the Shadow said mockingly. "Just like my real mother, you refuse to abandon me, foolishly believing that there is still some part of me you can save, despite all evidence to the contrary."

"That's because I know there is," the voice said.

The Shadow whirled around again. "Who is deluding themselves now, Mother? After all that I have done, there can be no forgiveness, no turning back. But that does not matter to me, for I do not seek forgiveness, nor did I ever, not from you, or Ash, or anyone else. I will do what must be done, even if I am the only one who sees the necessity of it, even if I must become evil itself to accomplish it!"

"No matter what you do, no matter what monster you make of yourself, I will _always_ forgive you," the voice insisted. "Because I love you. How could I do anything else?"

He laughed bitterly. "Of course you love me. You love _everyone_, Mother. You don't have it in you to hate anyone, not even the most horrifically deranged murdering cannibalistic rapacious monster (by which I mean Chobin). You're pathetic. Your foolish optimism, your belief that anyone can be redeemed, your faith in the so-called basic 'goodness' of everyone blinds you to the true nature of this horrible world…and to me."

"And your cynicism and anger, your thirst for vengeance and retribution, blind you to the beauty of it!" the voice retorted. "Is that why you wear a mirror for a mask? Because you cannot bear to see your own face, to admit how far you have fallen?"

"I know exactly how far I have fallen, and I will fall even farther if that's what it takes," the Shadow said. "You cannot stop me, Mother."

He turned his back to her again. And again, she refused to let that be the end of it. "It's not too late, you know. No matter what awful things you've done, if you turn back now, there's still time for you to make amends. There's still time for you to fix the evil you've wrought and prevent the disaster you seek to create from occurring."

"I have no intention of stopping it," the Shadow said. "And why should I? How else can I fulfill my goals?"

"Not even if I told you there was another way?" the voice asked.

The Shadow paused, but did not turn around, refusing to let himself be baited. "There is not other way."

"But what if there was?" the voice asked.

"Even if there was…even if…" Oblivion's Shadow paused, and then shook himself, outraged that he had even entertained the notion. "Even if there were, I would not take it. I have come too far. I cannot turn back. I cannot stop. Not for anything."

"My son…please…" the voice begged.

"Goodbye, Mother. Do not bother me again," the Shadow said, continuing on his way. He did not turn back to see if there were tears on her face…or if there was anything at all.

Meanwhile, in another part of the fortress…

_You're not going to make it,_ Lovrina whimpered.

_I'm going to make it,_ Kevin reassured her as he raced through the ventilation ducts.

_You're not going to make it,_ Lovrina whimpered.

_I'm going to make it!_ Kevin said as he turned a corner and dashed down a straightaway.

_You're not going to make it,_ Lovrina whimpered.

_I'M GOING TO MAKE IT!_ Kevin shouted as he slid down the side of a vertical shaft.

He didn't make it. He started, nearly losing his grip and plummeting to the bottom of the shaft as he, along with the rest of the network, saw the door to Lovrina's room open, saw _him_ appear, _felt_ Lovrina's abject horror and despair… _LOVRINA!_ Kevin shouted.

_It's too late…_ she whispered.

Kevin scrambled into a horizontal duct and tensed, bracing himself for what was coming. Even though he had experienced it dozens of times by now, the visceral sensation of feeling Lovrina's assailant violate her and hearing her screams and experiencing all her anguish and pain as it radiated throughout the network still made him want to puke, then curl up in a ball and cry for a little while. That was the problem with being spiritually connected to so many other Pokémon, he reflected. They literally felt, saw, heard, and experienced everything the others did. It was a good thing the Teacher had taught them how to create buffers and dampen their connections when things got too intense, otherwise they'd all have gone insane a long time ago. Struggling to his feet as he pushed back the horrific sensations Lovrina was unwillingly broadcasting to everyone else, he set out again, moving faster than before, though he knew it no longer made a difference.

Along the way, Lovrina's attacker finished with her, smacked her around a little, and left, leaving the Skitty a mess of wild fear and sorrow and revulsion, sobbing inconsolably, her agitated thoughts an impenetrable jumble that barely seemed to register the reassurances and sympathies everyone else was sending her way. Kevin knew that wouldn't be enough, and when he finally reached the appropriate vent, kicked the grille open, and squeezed out into Lovrina's room, he stared despondently at the Skitty, who was huddled in a corner and shivering madly, her body black and blue from bruises, a black eye on her face, blood dripping from her mouth and…and down there, and one of her limbs broken. "I'm sorry," he whispered, wishing, as always, that he could have been a little faster. "I'm so sorry."

He hugged her and let her cry on his shoulder, knowing that even with at least a hundred people in your head giving you encouragements and sending you all the best wishes in the world, sometimes physical contact with a friend was what a person needed most in a bad time. When she finally stopped shivering, she quietly asked, "Do you have it?"

Kevin nodded and produced a syringe. "With this, he'll never hurt you again."

Without a word, she snatched the syringe from him and injected the vampire blood into her arm. The change was almost instantaneous. She gasped and winced in pain as dark energy started crackling around her, Kevin wincing as well due to the pain feedback being sent out through the network. The bruises and black eye faded away, her broken limb mended itself, blood stopped flowing from her body, her piercings fell out one by one, and her tattoo melted off. She opened her mouth, gums convulsing before a pair of rather sharp fangs poked their way out from her upper jaws. Her pink and cream fur rustled and grew slightly longer, turning black and white in the process and causing her leather straps to snap off. Two bumps formed on her back and burst open, spilling fluids everywhere as a pair of black Zubat wings unfolded. Her slitted eyes opened wider and turned red. Her big tufted ears reconfigured themselves, with some effort, to look somewhat similar in shape to the wings on her back. Claws sprouted from her stubby paws. The big black section on the end of her tail split open to reveal it was a large three-tined claw. Despite the monstrosity of some of her changes, overall the end result was remarkably alluring, something that surprised Kevin. Hissing, she threw back her head and _yowled,_ a shockwave blasting off her and wrecking the room, as well as knocking Kevin back. "Oh…_ohhhh_…the power…it's so…so _beautiful…_" She paused and glanced at a piece of broken mirror that had fallen to the floor. "Ooh, and so am I! Rowr!"

_Welcome to our ranks, little one,_ the vampire Hitmonchan said.

_With this power, nobody will ever hurt you like that again,_ Gardevoir said.

_Well, unless they use sunlight. Or silver. Or-_ the envious prisoner said.

_Oh, shut up,_ everyone else said to him.

"Kevin…thank you so much. This is even better than I had hoped for," Lovrina said as the Kecleon picked himself up off the ground.

"I'm glad you like it…I'm just sorry it took me so long to get it to you," Kevin said.

"That's all right…at least I have it now, and the next time that bastard comes for me, he'll have another thing coming," Lovrina said with a grin that showed her new fangs. "Should I drain him dry or turn him into one of us, so he'll be my slave forever?"

"I would just drain him dry. Do you really want him around forever?" Kevin asked.

"If he were, I could torture him eternally to make him pay for what he's done to me…" Lovrina said cruelly.

Kevin shivered. "Uh, I suppose, but…we're not evil, Lovrina, remember? We're not supposed to do stuff like that."

Lovrina pouted. "I suppose…"

_It's just the vampire in you talking,_ Gardevoir said. _I get certain…_dark_ urges too. Try and ignore them. If you give in to them, you may find yourself becoming a monster._

…_Hey! Is that supposed to be a jab at us? _The Hitmonchan asked, offended.

_Well, I _have_ tried to tell you to exercise more restraint…_ Gardevoir said pointedly.

"Speaking of restraint, you might wanna tone down some of that…queen of the night thing you've got going there," Kevin said. "We don't want anyone to find out you're a vampire, right? That would put the kibosh on all our plans. Can you make yourself look like you used to? I know Gardevoir can, though the others seem to be unable to."

Lovrina frowned. "Let me see…" She concentrated for a moment. "Yes…I think I can. Gardevoir was able to concentrate an extra dosage of the virus into the blood sample you took, so I'm slightly more powerful than the other 'aristocrats.'"

_What? That's not fair!_ Spluttered the Hitmonchan. _Why does she get extra power?_

_Because she's my friend,_ Gardevoir said.

_I thought we were your friends,_ the Doduo complained.

_You are, but I met her first,_ Gardevoir said. The other two sulked.

"Okay…here goes." Lovrina scrunched her face up in concentration, and bit by bit, her transformation reversed itself. Soon she looked as she had before, though the odd allure still remained around her. "There," she panted as she finished the change. "That should do it. Hmm…but that took a lot out of me. I think I could go for a…_bite…_"

Kevin started sweating as Lovrina advanced. "Uh, Lovrina, what are you doing?"

"Oh come on Kevin, I just want a little blood…it's not like I'm going to _change_ you or anything," Lovrina said, licking her lips. "Unless you want it, that is…"

"I don't, actually," Kevin said. "And what I do want is…"

Abruptly, he camouflaged himself and ran for the air vent he'd used to get into the room, but moving with startling speed Lovrina tackled him and pinned him to the ground. "Sorry, that's not going to cut it," she purred as her fangs extended and Kevin's eyes widened with fear. "Don't worry…I'll make sure you enjoy this…"

"If this is some kind of punishment for my not being in time to save you, I'm sorry!" the Kecleon said desperately.

"This isn't about punishment, Kevin. It's about hunger. And maybe a little fun. I always _did_ have a thing for you," she said, lowering her mouth to the reptile's neck and…

And it actually was extremely pleasant, though Kevin was loath to admit it later, and when the other rebels started making lewd comments about how the Kecleon was now spending an _awful_ lot of time in Lovrina's quarters, he would vehemently deny any allegation that he was now Lovrina's henchmon and walking blood supply. Everyone knew it was a lie, and Kevin knew that they knew, and they knew that he knew that they knew, and he knew that they knew that he knew that they knew, and…

Oh, whatever. They were basically a couple, end of story. Isn't that nice?

…

Meanwhile, at Giant Volcano…

"Come on, Drew! What's wrong, can't you keep up with me?" May Maple taunted, driving her ski poles into the ground repeatedly to push herself across the snow-covered ground at the base of the frozen mountain.

"I can keep up with you any day of the week, May Maple!" May's boyfriend/rival, a very handsome Roserade model named Drew, growled as he tried to ski faster after her, a task made somewhat difficult by the excessive amount of extra coats, scarves, mittens, goggles, boots, and portable heaters he had covered himself with to ward off the cold. As a Grass-type, he _really_ didn't like the weather in these parts…but since his girlfriend was a Combusken whose temper burned equally as hot as her Type, he figured he could adapt to yet another climate that was potentially hazardous to his health.

The couple was cross-country skiing near the frozen beach at the bottom of Giant Volcano. The deep freeze caused by the Pokerockers to keep the mountain from erupting had reached even to these parts, so now nobody could walk around or swim in the iceberg-laden waters unless they had adequate protection from the cold. While this meant tourists could no longer surf or swim or tan on the beaches, lots of Ice Pokémon had moved in to claim the vacated beachfront property and a number of skiing and tobogganing courses had been set up to offset the profit losses caused by the abrupt climate shift. As the new leader of Battlus, Norman Maple AKA King Sloth was doing his best to help everyone get used to the changes in lifestyle and custom they had to make to get the best out of the new winter resort business, and when May wasn't hanging out with Drew, she was doing everything she could to make his job easier…which was a bit harder, now that Max had left, but she felt she was up for the extra responsibility.

May stopped to recover her breath, a rueful smirk on her face as she watched Drew struggle to catch up to her, lamenting that he didn't look nearly as sexy with all that winter wear covering him…and frowned, noticing something out of the corner of her eye. She glanced down at the water washing onto the black sands just past the edge of the snowfield and saw what she had initially discounted as a piece of flotsam bobbing on the tides to be something else entirely…something blue. Puzzled, she kicked off her skis and walked over to investigate, her Fire-type talons melting holes in the snow as she went.

"May, what are you doing? It's even colder in the water!" Drew protested, panting as he reached the edge of the snow.

"There's something in the water. I'm going to check it out," May replied. Sighing and certain he was going to regret this, Drew wrenched his boots out of his skis and trudged after May to see what this was about.

The waves crashed to the shore, depositing the strange blue object in the sand. Standing as far back from the water as she could so it wouldn't get her wet, May rushed forward and snatched the object before it could get engulfed by the next wave and dragged back out to sea. She looked at it in wonder as she cradled it in her claws, an oblong transparent blue spheroid with a pulsating red core and a small ring of yellow orbs circling it like a crown. "What is it?" Drew asked in wonder.

May blinked, wondering why she felt a strange sense of familiarity and…kinship to the object. "I…I think it's an egg."

Drew frowned. "An egg? I've never seen a Pokémon egg that looked like that before…" He glanced around, checking to see if there was anyone on this frigid beach other than them. "What do you suppose laid it? I don't see anything like a parent nearby…"

May frowned. "I don't know…come on, let's take it to a Pokémon Center, it can't be good for it to be out in the cold like this. Maybe Nurse Joy can tell us what it is."

Drew blinked. "Huh? Don't you think we should find its parent first?"

May shook her head. "I'm not sure it has a parent…if it did, wouldn't it be here protecting it, and the egg wouldn't have been floating out in the water?"

"I suppose…" Drew admitted reluctantly. "Well, if it does have a parent, I suppose it'll come looking for it soon enough…"

"And if not, we'll take care of it," May said, wondering why it felt so…_natural_ to do that. She unzipped her jacket—much thinner than Drew's, since her inner fire kept her pretty warm by itself—and stuffed the strange egg down its front, nestling it against her belly. "There, that should keep it warm and safe until we can get it to an incubator," May said. She glanced at Drew. "Well? Aren't you going to make any cracks about my weight or how it makes me look like I'm pregnant?"

"Hmm? No, actually, I can't tell the difference," Drew said. May grabbed a handful of sand and threw it in his face. "Ow! I meant it in a good way!"

"You are so full of it," May grumbled. "Come on, let's go. The rest of our ski date will have to wait for another day."

"Good," Drew said in relief. When May glared at him, he quickly said, "Because I'm really cold and all, not because I'm not enjoying spending time with you. I think some of my petals are wilting."

May rolled her eyes. "Heaven forbid your beauty should be tarnished in the slightest…"

"Hey, if your good looks were the source of your income, maybe you'd understand," Drew scoffed, brushing back some of his elegantly styled white hair.

"Yeah, that you're full of it," May said good-naturedly. "Let's get back to town."

"Fine with me, so long as it's somewhere warm and indoors," Drew said.

They walked onto the snow, strapped on their skis, and headed back to civilization. They did not see some of the seawater congeal to form a small blue head with a long antenna and big dark eyes that stared sadly after them. "Goodbye, Papa…" the Phione said. "I hope that now, you can finally be at peace." It melted into the water and disappeared.

…

Meanwhile, somewhere in the deep blue sea…

Caserin the Luvdisc was humming happily to himself as he swam through the water until, quite without warning, a smaller orange fish with big sharp teeth appeared out of nowhere and slammed into him. "Oh my!"

"Hey, watch where you're going!" the other fish snarled.

"I'm sorry, I was too lost in thought to pay attention to my surroundings," Caserin apologized conscientiously, wondering to himself what kind of Pokémon the fish was. It didn't look like any species he was familiar with. Was it some sort of mutant hybrid of Magikarp and Carvahna? "I was just coming from a massive battle, and the sheer grandeur of it was so awe-inspiring I can't stop thinking about it."

The fish hesitated. "A battle? I just came from one myself…what happened?"

"A small band of heroic Pokémon joined forces with a crew of undead pirates and a giant undead Crawdaunt in a magnificent golden ship that could fly and dive underwater and had an astounding array of weapons to fight against a gigantic armada of warships and sea monsters led by a corrupted sea deity in a mobile ocean fortress," Caserin explained.

"Oh my," the fish said with a grimace. "Perhaps I'd better not go that way, then…"

"The battle ended a while ago, but you're right, it probably wouldn't be safe to go in that direction, some crazed sea monsters are still on the loose, and they wouldn't think twice about snatching up a small morsel like ourselves," the Luvdisc said. "And you said you just came from a battle too? What happened?"

The fish shuddered. "Something even worse—and crazier—than what you witnessed, I'm afraid. A demon burst out of some really ugly cat's stomach and summoned an ancient soul-devouring monster of unimaginable size and power, and a chimpanzee and a pair of babies in a helicopter sacrificed themselves so that their friends in a fish-shaped submarine could get away. But despite nuking the beast, it's still alive…and hungry…"

"Oh dear," said the alarmed Luvdisc, wondering what a 'chimpanzee' was, or what 'nuking' meant, or how a helicopter had gotten underwater. "It sounds like I shouldn't go where you've been either…"

"Definitely not," the orange fish agreed.

Caserin sighed. "Oh, bother, more delays…I suppose I'll have to head in a different direction if I'm to reach the Aqua-Monica and get back to Aquaris before the deadline."

"Well, good luck with that," the orange fish said dismissively, turning away…only to pause, a thought occurring to him. "Er, what did you say you're trying to reach?"

"The Aqua-Monica, a legendary instrument located at the bottom of the Bottomless Sea," Caserin said.

"Isn't that an oxymoron?" the fish asked.

"I'm not the one who named it. Anyway, I must obtain the Aqua-Monica and return with it to the undersea kingdom of Aquaris by the next new moon to win the fin of my beloved Princess Luverin," Caserin explained.

"I see," the fish said. "And this…Aqua-Monica? Does it possess any particular…properties?"

"Well, the Aqua-Monica is said to generate some of the most beautiful music in the ocean when someone skilled enough plays it," Caserin said.

"Oh," the fish said, losing interest.

"It also has the power to win the undying loyalty of any Water Pokémon who hears its melody," Caserin continued.

"Is that so?" the fish asked, regaining his interest. "Fascinating. And, er, I suppose it's protected by all sorts of dangerous guardians and traps and enchantments?"

Caserin nodded. "Oh yes, the usual bother. I'm not too worried, though…I have the power of love on my side, and with it, I know I can prevail!"

"Right," the fish said. "However, ah…just to be safe, I think I'll come with you."

Caserin blinked in surprise. "You will? Why?"

"Well, a responsible fish like myself can't let a young ma—er, mon like you go off on a dangerous and life-threatening adventure by himself. I'll come with you, to make sure you get this instrument and win the heart of your princess in one piece," the fish said.

"Are you certain?" Caserin asked. "It will be very dangerous."

"Oh, I'm used to danger," the fish said. "Its how I got to looking like this, after all."

"Ah," Caserin said, his heart going out to the stranger. No doubt he had suffered his horrific disfigurement in some incredible battle or great adventure. "Very well, then. If you wish to come, I would be happy to have you accompany me on my quest." He gasped, suddenly realizing something. "Oh my! Then that means this journey has the potential to become a thing of legends, doesn't it?"

The orange fish blinked. "Eh? How so?"

"Why, all great adventures involve a group of disparate heroes banding together for a common goal, be it to thwart a great evil or recover a great treasure," Caserin said. "Which means you must be my first companion! Oh, this is going to be so much fun! I wonder what other friends we shall recruit on our travels? A fierce Sharpedo who's sworn off meat? A mighty Waillord who wishes to prove that beneath his massive and formidable exterior is an insecure Pokémon who just wants friends? A pair of bickering opposites who will fight constantly but, over the course of our adventure, eventually realize they're in love with each other, something the rest of us figured out long ago?"

"Er, yes. We'll…just have to see about those as we go along," the fish said, disturbed by his new…'friend's' enthusiasm and starry-eyed look of joy.

"I suppose you're right," Caserin said, calming down. "I am getting ahead of myself, aren't I? I'm sorry, but the epics always do that to me; that's part of why I was so distracted by thoughts of the battle I just came from. I got the feeling it was part of an even greater adventure that will span this world and possibly beyond…and I got to play a part in it, even if it was just a small one! I doubt our own tale will be as grand, but if we play our cards right, it could become a story the seas will sing of for centuries to come!"

"Right," the fish said, starting to wonder if he had made a mistake. "But we have to get that Aqua-Monica first. Which way to the Bottomless Sea?"

"Hmm? Oh, yes! Well, if where you just came from isn't safe, and going back the way I came is the wrong direction, then I believe we should go…this way!" The Luvdisc determinedly started swimming in his chosen direction. The orange fish quickly finned after him. "By the way, I don't believe I caught your name. I'm Caserin. Who are you?"

"Me? Oh, nobody you've heard of. My name's Mack," the fish said, baring his teeth in a sinister grin. "Mack Salmon…"

…

Meanwhile, in Pokémon Square…

With the defeat of the barbarian horde and the destruction of Mt. Blaze, the heroes who had gone off to fight in the campaign against the Monkey King had returned triumphant, and the whole town had turned out to celebrate! The fields outside of Pokémon Square had almost been stomped flat by the hundreds of onlookers and soldiers standing in formation, much to the dismay of the farmers who had been growing crops there, even though they'd been reminded that their harvest would be ruined anyway by the impending siege, which would happen…sometime soon. Probably.

Most of the townsPokémon who couldn't get seats out on the field watched from the town walls as fireworks were launched from the floating Sky Pillar, dragons and airships flew in fantastic formations overhead while trailing streamers and colored plumes of smoke, and brass bands played victorious music as officers marched through the ranks, proudly pinning medals on the chests of the soldiers who had returned in one piece from the fray. The soldiers in the infirmary would also receive medals, of course, after they had recovered, and the deceased would be awarded theirs posthumously, as was custom. While every soldier got a combat medal to signify they had taken part in the campaign, those who had shown exceptional bravery and heroism in the field were given extra citations based on the merit and nature of their actions. The Rescue Teams and Draconian soldiers who had journeyed into the depths of Mt. Blaze and back were to be honored most of all, and were standing (and slightly fidgeting) on a hastily-constructed stage in the middle of it all, waiting for the rest of the rank and file to receive their commendations so that they could be granted their own by the town's highest officials and Rayquaza himself. A sense of wonder, joy, and pride was in the air, along with the knowledge that a great victory had been won over the forces arrayed against them, even if they had been forced to make a number of sacrifices to achieve this victory.

Ace DNN reporter Valerie Osagawara was in the thick of it all, narrating the proceedings to viewers around the world while keeping a tight hold on the leash she'd attached to Grobnar son of Grobnar's neck to keep him from ambling off and getting himself into trouble. The captive Vigoroth seemed less interested in getting the collar off, however, then in trying to pry off the muzzle she'd strapped over his face, staring in awe at the events happening around them, and scratching himself. "The sense of triumph and elation is almost palpable in the air, folks, and you don't need to be a Psychic like me to pick it up! Everyone in town and from the Sky Tower has turned out in full force to watch as our brave mon and womon of the armed forces are honored for their service today, along with the many local heroes who made sure today's campaign was a roaring success! Every soldier here earned the medals they're wearing with pride on their chests, and it's a pity I'm a civilian or I'd ask for one too, risking my life and all to bring you viewers the truth and exclusive footage of the battle." There was a gasp from the crowd, and Valerie squealed with delight as she turned to see what was going on, nearly choking Grobnar son of Grobnar as she yanked on his leash. "Oh! They've finished handing out medals to the main body of soldiers, and now the head honchos have appeared to award special commendations to the heroes who made our final victory possible! Generals Nuken, Fafnir, Tiamat, Smaug, Nidhogg, and Drakor; Pokémon Square's own Mayor Mayur Whiscash the XXXVIIth and Scotty McPrestidigius; Chairperson Erma of the destroyed villages of Vientown and Seasonsburg; the renowned seer Sabrina; and His Excellency Rayquaza, flanked by his steed Latios and his…er, _companion_ Latias, who seems to have made quite the quick recovery from the spectacular shield-shattering stunt she pulled earlier! Don't they look marvelous in their armor and royal regalia? (Those who have any, that is.) They've come out in full force to honor these brave warriors for the victory they have achieved, an honor they have earned through blood, sweat, and tears!"

"Yes, the blood, sweat, and tears of an indigenous people who was too weak and underdeveloped to defend themselves. Another victory for the great and noble Draconian Empire, squashing a culture that posed little to no actual threat to them whatsoever in the name of 'justice,' imperialism, and blind religious fervor," someone said cuttingly.

Valerie bristled with rage, eyes flashing angrily. "Rhonda…" she hissed as an attractive Cherrim followed by a Machop with a video camera and a Cyndaquil carrying a boom microphone approached. "I thought that cheap perfume smelled familiar…"

"And I could hear your slanted reporting from a mile away," the Cherrim sneered.

"Who she?" Grobnar son of Grobnar whispered very loudly.

"My arch-nemesis, Rhonda Kremp, star reporter of a rival network," Valerie muttered.

"Oh," said Grobnar son of Grobnar. "Want Grobnar son of Grobnar to eat her?"

"Tempting, but no," Valerie said regretfully. Addressing the Cherrim, she said, "I guess it was too much to hope for that you'd gotten brutally massacred during the fight. I'm surprised you were covering it in person at all, seeing as how you could have ruined your petals what with all the blood and fire and _real_ mons doing their jobs."

Rhonda smirked. "Well, _somebody_ had to cover the invasion and provide some unbiased testimony of all the war crimes the Draconians committed; how you killed barbarians who had already surrendered, how you chose to invade and destroy the homeland of a group of Pokémon who'd never caused you any trouble on the flimsy justification that they were harboring WMDs and working for a terrorist organization that doesn't exist…"

"The WMDs did _too_ exist, as does the 'nonexistent' terrorist organization! They're called the Nihilators, and they pose a serious threat to the entire free world, not just the Draconian Empire!" Valerie countered angrily.

Rhonda snorted. "Or so your government keeps saying. Typical Draconian warmongering, trying to convince the rest of the world not gullible enough to think your leader is some infallible divine paragon that we should all give in and allow ourselves to be 'protected' from threats that never seem to manifest, no matter how certain you seem that they're right on the horizon."

"That is a ridiculously fallacious misinterpretation of historical events and our system of government that you use to sway your viewership to buy into your anti-Imperial vitriol," Valerie snarled. "You claim to be unbiased in your reporting, but your network is more slanted and a sell-out than any other I can think of!"

"Now who's the one fallaciously misinterpreting things?" Rhonda scoffed, trying to hide the very expensive designer high-heels, earrings, and necklace she was wearing made by a major fashion company and tone down the pheromones she was emitting whose scent had been enhanced by a new leaf-care shampoo she was endorsing. "And if you want any further proof of Draconian hypocrisy, I'm looking right at it. You high-and-mighty Imperials claim you don't endorse slavery, and yet you've got one at the end of a leash!"

Valerie blinked. "Huh? Grobnar son of Grobnar? He's not my slave."

Grobnar son of Grobnar nodded sadly. "Yeah, she not even want Grobnar son of Grobnar for sex. Grobnar son of Grobnar feel very self-conscious."

"If he's not a slave, then do you mind explaining why you have an enemy combatant on a leash with a muzzle?" Rhonda asked skeptically.

"The leash is so he doesn't wander off and get lost or hurt himself, which is a very high possibility considering we're surrounded by people who aren't exactly feeling friendly towards barbarians at the moment," Valerie explained. "And the muzzle's so he doesn't put anything in his mouth. He has a bit of an oral fixation."

"Grobnar son of Grobnar not have oral fixation, Grobnar son of Grobnar likes putting things in mouth," Grobnar son of Grobnar said.

"That's what an oral fixation is," Valerie said.

Grobnar son of Grobnar's eyes widened in amazement. "…Ohhhhh…Grobnar son of Grobnar really did make good choice surrendering, am learning new things already!"

"There now, if he were my slave would he be enjoying himself so much?" Valerie asked with a pointed smirk.

"He would if you'd brainwashed him. If he's not your slave, then what _is_ he?" Rhonda asked, undeterred. "He's the only barbarian here who isn't on stage being glorified for betraying their people to the uncaring clutches of 'modern' civilization."

"He's my witness," Valerie said.

"…Your witness?" Rhonda asked in confusion.

"Sure. The DNN charter allows all personnel to take any high-value witnesses into protective custody," Valerie said. "Grobnar son of Grobnar was a good interview subject out in the field, so I decided to take him into custody to give him a taste of a better life than the penal colonies his brethren are going to and offer him a chance at rehabilitation. Not that the _others_ aren't going to be rehabilitated too, of course, no matter what lies you might have heard/spread regarding the treatments of prisoners in the colonies, but I thought he might benefit from a more…personal touch."

"So you're taking him prisoner for his own good?" Rhonda asked incredulously.

"Pretty much, yeah," Valerie said.

"And Grobnar, how do _you_ feel about this?" Rhonda asked the Vigoroth directly.

"Grobnar son of Grobnar's name not Grobnar, it Grobnar son of Grobnar," Grobnar son of Grobnar corrected her.

Rhonda sweatdropped. "…Right. Grobnar _son of Grobnar_, how do you feel about this?"

Grobnar son of Grobnar shrugged. "Sound good to Grobnar son of Grobnar. Grobnar son of Grobnar get roof over head, lots of food, promise of good ed-yu-kay-shun and job when Grobnar son of Grobnar am re…re-ha-bi-choo-a-lized?"

"Rehabilitated," Valerie corrected.

Grobnar son of Grobnar beamed. "Right. That."

Rhonda frowned. "You aren't upset at being held against your will? About your home being destroyed, your king slain, most of your people slain or shipped off to prison?"

Grobnar son of Grobnar shrugged. "Eh, better them than Grobnar son of Grobnar."

Valerie chuckled at the shock on Rhonda's face. "What did you expect? He's not a so-called 'noble savage,' he's a _barbarian._ Most of them are more interested in looking out for number one than worrying about anyone else. That's something else I have to cure him of, of course."

"Awww, do you have to?" Grobnar son of Grobnar complained.

"Yes, yes I do," Valerie said. The Vigoroth pouted.

Rhonda scowled. "So he's another one of your charity cases, then? Well, I hope he works out better than the last 'poor, unfortunate soul' you took pity on."

"He will," Valerie said sternly.

"Er, what am happen to last 'poor, unfortunate soul?'" Grobnar son of Grobnar asked.

"Oh, he took advantage of my generosity and tried to kill my husband and rape my daughters. So naturally I caved his skull in," Valerie said matter-of-factly.

"Ah," Grobnar son of Grobnar said, face paling. "You, um, not have to worry about Grobnar son of Grobnar doing that."

"I know," Valerie said with a cool smile. "In any event, are you through here trying to slander my country's good name, Rhonda? Or can I get back to reporting the truth now?"

"Why certainly. Go right ahead. Kiss up to your false king as much as you like, I don't care," Rhonda said.

Valerie frowned, sensing something…troubling in the Cherrim's mind. "False king? What are you talking about?"

Rhonda smiled cruelly. "You mean to tell me you haven't figured it out yet? Some ace reporter. Don't you think it's a little _odd_ that your glorious ruler is now a Bagon?"

Valerie shrugged. "He got stripped of his divine form due to spell backlash. Nothing odd about that. They'll get him back to normal soon enough."

"_Really._ Because that's not what I heard. I heard that he _is_ normal now. In fact, I have a source that tells me-"Rhonda started to say gleefully, until abruptly the boom mike lowered and hit her on the head. "Ow! Dammit, Jack! Quit doing that!"

"Sorry," the Cyndaquil said, raising the boom back up.

"What was that you were saying?" Valerie asked.

"Hmm? Oh, yes. I was saying that the king you and the rest of you Draconians worship is nothing but-" She was drowned out when the crowd abruptly cheered very loudly as something happened onstage that they enthusiastically approved of.

"Sorry, what was that?" Valerie asked.

Rhonda sighed. "I said that your king is-" The boom hit her again. "_Dammit, Jack!_"

"Sorry," the Cyndaquil apologized, raising the boom.

"I don't believe you finished your sentence," Valerie said.

Rhonda's eye twitched. "I was going to say that your precious leader is-"

She was drowned out when Grobnar son of Grobnar sneezed very loudly. "Sorry. Grobnar son of Grobnar have allergies," the Vigoroth apologized.

"We'll get you medicine for that, dear. Anyway, what was that, Rhonda?" Valerie asked.

The Cherrim's face turned red. "Oh, for the love of…look, what I'm trying to say is that Rayquaza is not-" The boom fell on her head. "DAMMIT, JACK! STOP THAT!"

"S-sorry," the Cyndaquil whimpered.

"What was that about Rayquaza?" Valerie asked innocently.

"Rayquaza is…" Rhonda paused, then narrowed her eyes in suspicion. "You know what? Why don't you just read my mind? That would be much easier."

"Nah," Valerie said. "There's nothing in that empty skull of yours worth seeing. Are you sure you don't want to just tell me what it is you think you know?"

Rhonda growled. "Oh, forget it. This isn't worth it. But don't worry. You'll find out the truth soon enough…you and everyone else, and then let's see how long your precious Empire lasts!" With that, she stalked off, followed by Jack and the cameraMachop.

"What that about?" asked the confused Grobnar son of Grobnar.

"Nothing important," Valerie, who had in fact read Rhonda's mind, murmured to herself. The poor thing. She actually believed some crazy story about Rayquaza being a fraud and the true Dragon God King had died three centuries ago? How preposterous. What nutjob had fed her _that_ load of Taurosshit? "Anyway, that was a waste of time, let's get back to…" She paused, noticing the camera was still trained on her. "You got all that, didn't you?" she asked the cameramon, a Mr. Mime. The Mr. Mime nodded. "I don't suppose we can edit that out, can we?"

"Sorry Ms. Osagawara, that went out live," the Mr. Mime apologized.

Valerie sighed. "Of course it did. Of course it did…"

While Valerie and Rhonda had been having their little squabble, Rayquaza had been delivering a speech to the soldiers and townsPokémon from the stage. "Today is a momentous occasion for all of us," he said, speakers amplifying his voice so it could be heard all over the field and even beyond the town's walls. "The Draconian Empire and the city-state of Pokémon Square cemented an alliance today in blood and flame, formalizing the union we have been working towards for the last few weeks by joining forces to strike out against a common enemy, defeating Gal and his Burning Horde and ensuring that the barbarians of Mt. Blaze will never threaten our livelihood again!" The crowd roared enthusiastically at this.

"But that is not the only reason this day and this alliance is so important," Rayquaza continued. He gestured to the several Rescue Teams standing behind him. "People of Pokémon Square, by the examples set by some of your greatest heroes in today's battle; by their valor, courage, and selfless dedication to accomplish their missions, stamp out the evil festering within Mt. Blaze, and rescue the hapless Pokémon imprisoned by the horde, you have proven yourself to be more than a vassal state joining the Empire for their own protection, more than a country which gains strength by hanging onto our tails. You are able to hold your own in battle, and while today's victory could only have been made possible by our joint efforts, I have every confidence that you would have found a way to prevail even were it not for our aid! The ferocity you are reported to have shown in your fights against the barbarians makes me glad that we are on the same side, for I would not like to fight you as enemies!" The townspeople whooped at this, though many of the soldiers looked miffed, feeling like their own skills were being called into question.

"You have proven yourselves to be our equals in strength, and so we shall treat you as such," Rayquaza said. "From this day forward, let it be known that the Draconian Empire and Pokémon Square are as brothers. We shall share our wealth and power with each other, work hand and hand to create a brighter and more prosperous future for both our nations and for the world…and should either of our countries ever be in jeopardy, we can all rest assured that one of us will always come to the other's aid, just as we have come to your aid to help fend off the threat of the Nihilators and their pawns. We share the same planet and the same enemies, so it is only meet that we face them claw-in-claw, and crush them and any other who seeks to destroy us beneath our combined might!" As the crowd cheered again, Latias nodded and telepathed him words of approval, while Latios grudgingly admitted he had sounded pretty good.

Nuken gestured, and a pair of Ninjask flew over, carrying an immense pink diamond with a metal and crystal Rayquaza figurine wrapped around it. "And to symbolize this union and seal our pact of brotherhood…Mayor of Pokémon Square, allow me to bestow upon you one of my Empire's greatest treasures, the Dragon's Heart Gem! We give it to you in trust, for we know that if any can be relied upon to protect it, it is you!"

The Mayor, who was in a wheeled water tank, bowed his head in gratitude. "We understand the act of faith you are performing in entrusting this to us, great Rayquaza, and we promise to prove your trust in us to be well-founded. And to show how much _we_ trust _you_, allow me to give you one of our town's greatest treasures in return. Scotty?"

Scotty stepped forward and opened a claw, revealing an old, worn piece of metal with a jewel stud and what looked like crude wings on either side. "Yer Excellency, it's me honor and privilege to give ye this token: the very first Rescue Team badge Pokémon Square ever possessed, worn by the leader of our very first Rescue Team, the legendary Scizor explorer Shingo. When he and his pals went their separate ways, he wandered off tae distant parts, never tae be seen again. Some say he's still out there, traveling the stars…others say he got frozen by an evil Froslass. Nobody knows fer sure."

_An evil Froslass?_ Nuken thought to himself with a frown.

"Although Shingo disappeared, he left his badge with me predecessors…which is a pity, because if he'd kept it, he might have been able tae find his way back tae us, wherever he went," Scotty continued. "But Shingo's gone, so I don't think he'll mind if we give his badge tae ye, yer Excellency. He'd have wanted it tae be used fer a good cause."

"I accept your gift, and promise it will be kept in a place of honor, as befits the trust and respect between us," Rayquaza promised, bowing in gratitude.

"As we will your gift, Your Excellency," said the Mayor. He nodded to Scotty, who stepped forward at the same time as the Ninjasks. They exchanged their respective treasures and returned to their starting positions, the crowd bursting into applause, fireworks bursting in the air, and camera flashes going off all over the place to commemorate the historic pact-sealing.

"But enough of this politicking," Rayquaza said as the badge and gemstone were removed from the stage. "There is another reason for us to celebrate, another reason for us to all be here: to honor the brave heroes who risked their lives to defeat the forces of the Monkey King! Gal and his minions threw everything they could at the fearless warriors behind me…and they overcame it all! For that, they shall always have a place in the annals of history as some of this land's greatest heroes! And as heroes…I believe they deserve a hero's reward, don't you agree?" The loud cry from the crowd indicated that everyone felt the same as he did.

More Ninjask flew over with some cases in their claws, and Scotty took out a case of his own. The delegation of leaders on the stage approached Team GSC and the soldiers who had accompanied them, the group standing to attention as the dignitaries approached. "To Team GSC and the members of the 147th division, for liberating the womon and children of the breeding pits, I award all of you the coveted Imperial Scale!" Rayquaza announced. The Ninjask opened their cases to reveal rows upon rows of scale-shaped medals made of silver. The faces of the heroes lit up in awe as the Draconian generals removed the medals and personally pinned them on one by one.

Scotty had a gift of his own, though. "And fer being such damn good rescuers and barbarian-slayers, ye get a million Rescue Points, boosting ye up several ranks and earning new badges!"

"Whoa, cool!" Vincent said in delight as Scotty handed him his new badge. "If we get that kind of prize, we should raid breeding pits more often!"

"I'd raid them even if there weren't any prize in it…places like that don't deserve to exist," Marina said darkly, causing Vincent to feel a twinge of guilt. Jimmy put a paw on her shoulder and gave her a reassuring squeeze.

"To Team Constrictor and the 371st division, for saving the children being brainwashed and molded into soldiers in the barbarian culling grounds, I award all of you the coveted Imperial Scale!" Rayquaza continued.

"And a million points and new badges for ye, too!" Scotty said.

"Oh, wow!" Cress gasped as she received her medal and badge.

"This is more points than we've ever gotten for a mission before," Tricia said in wonder.

"I'd do it again, regardless of our points, for the sake of those children!" Ursula said.

"To Team Razor Wind and Team Flame and the members of the 610th and 621st, for rescuing the barbarian prisoners and slaves, the Imperial Scale!" Rayquaza said.

"And one million points, and new badges!" Scotty added.

"Do we really deserve these?" Zeke wondered as he received his awards.

"For the good we've done today? Definitely," Sickle said.

"And your fiancée would seem to agree," Sandy said, looking out into the crowd.

"Woooo! Go Zeke!" the Seviper hissed, causing the Zangoose to blush.

"It's a shame Bella can't be here," Celsius said sadly.

"Yeah, what with those horrible burns that put her into the Pokémon Center…sometimes I wonder what she was thinking, forming a team of Fire-types and going on a mission into a volcano," Stella agreed.

"To Team Tops and Team Seasons for rescuing their comrades, thought to be dead…to Goku and his troops, who chose to risk our wrath and switch sides, knowing there was a chance we wouldn't believe their desire for peace…and to the lost teams of Vientown and Seasonsburg, for persevering and clinging to life when all else thought them dead…and, of course, to the members of the 334th, the Imperial Scale!" Rayquaza said.

"And _two_ million points," Chairperson Erma, an elderly Torterra, said as she proudly pinned new badges onto the chests of the heroes. "You've certainly deserved it, after everything you've gone through. You don't know how happy I am to see you all again."

"We're just as happy to see you, ma'am," Barlow assured her.

"And now that all of us are together again, there's nothing that'll ever break us apart!" Lunick said with a grin.

"Definitely!" Solana said in agreement.

"It's good to see everyone here," Sven commented.

Spenser nodded in agreement. "It feels like a hole in my heart that I hadn't even noticed has finally been mended. We're still missing a lot of people, yeah, but…"

"For the first time in a while, you can hope again?" Joel asked.

Spenser nodded. "Exactly."

"We thank you for these tokens of your esteem," Goku said graciously as he was given his Imperial Scale. "We promise your faith in us will not be in vain."

"It better not be…" Nuken muttered darkly.

"Oh Goku, this is so exciting! It's like we're halfway to being civilized Pokémon already!" Ete squealed happily.

"I can't believe they're letting _those_ guys into Pokémon Square…" Matthias growled from the audience.

"Look on the bright side, at least that jerk Ignik isn't up on stage being honored too," Pichu pointed out.

"Yeah, they hustled him off to jail as soon as they all got to town," Collette said.

"But instead of killing him, he's getting off with community service! He should get the death penalty for what he did to my family!" Matthias snapped angrily.

"That's not how we do things around here," Junior said.

"Don't I know it…" Matthias muttered unhappily.

"And besides, by letting him live, he has a chance to redeem himself," Sapphire said.

"Redemption? After what he did? He doesn't deserve it!" Matthias shouted.

"Maybe not, but it looks like he's going to get it," Pichu said.

Matthias gnashed his teeth in frustration. "Even if everyone else is going to overlook his crimes because some silver-tongued barbarian managed to convince the whole town that he and his mangy brethren can be trusted, I never will…I'll _never_ forgive him. Never!"

"You know, whenever someone says that, they're usually forced into a situation where they're forced to get to know the person they're angry with better and eventually learn to forgive them," Collette said.

Pichu grimaced. "Arceus, I hope not. What is this, an afterschool special?"

"Team Frontier, Team LaMancha, Team Snagem, and the 380th and 443rd, for tracking down the traitor T-Bone and engaging his Team Rocket associates, I award you with the Imperial Scale!" Rayquaza said.

"And _three_ million points and new badges, on account of yer opponents bein' time travelers and all," Scotty added. "No easy opponent tae beat!"

In the audience, Hubie the Piplup shuddered. "What is it?" George the Chimchar asked.

"I dunno…something about those time travelers sounded…familiar…" Hubie murmured.

"Huh? But…we failed," said the confused Rui. "We don't deserve these."

Zoro nodded in agreement. "Si, despite our best efforts, they managed to escape with T-Bone, leaving us with more questions than answers."

"And Team Ebony was driven insane…" Atlas said sadly. "Hence why they're not with us up here right now…"

"You may have failed in your mission, but you fought them and lived to tell the tale, so that's good enough for us," Rayquaza said with a shrug.

"But-" Wes protested.

"Are you _refusing_ His Excellency's generosity?" Nuken asked threateningly.

"Uh…no. No, we're not. We'd never do anything as stupid as that, right boy?" Gonzap laughed nervously, nudging the startled Wes.

"Um, right. Nosir," Wes said quickly.

"Good," Nuken said as they reluctantly accepted their medals. "I'm glad you've seen reason. You wouldn't have liked to see what would have happened if you hadn't."

"Anyway…to Teams Raider, AWD, Charm, Master Yamiri, and the soldiers of the 230th, 329th, and 643rd…for destroying the Devil Golem eggs before they could hatch and destroy us all, as well as engaging my old foe Groudon and surviving…well, most of you, anyway," Rayquaza amended when he saw the pained look on Morty's face. "You have earned yourselves the highest military honor it is within my power to bestow upon you: the sacred Divine Scale, which has only been awarded a handful of times throughout our Empire's history, and only to our greatest heroes!" The faces of the Rescue Teams and soldiers lit up in awe as the generals distributed gold scale-shaped medals. "The warriors who fell in combat against the great beast shall receive theirs posthumously, of course."

"Thank you, sir. I'm sure their spirits will appreciate it in the Celestial Heavens by your side," Morty said.

"They have earned it, as well as whatever reward awaits them in the realm of the Dragon God King in the hereafter," Master Yamiri reassured him.

"And just so we don't get left outta this…all of ye get a whopping five million points! And new badges, of course," Scotty told the Rescue Teams, causing the crowd and the other teams to stir in disbelief.

"Five million? Has anyone ever gotten that many points for a single mission before?" asked the astonished Roxie.

"We have now," Gallant said with a grin, high…er…appendaging Forsythia.

"What do you think, boys? Does the new bling suit me?" Lady asked, showing off her medal and badge to her teammates.

"You look sssexxxier than ever," King assured her.

"I think we just got the hottest accessories in town," said an awestruck Grace.

"And we didn't have enough jewelry already?" Melodi asked.

"A girl can never have too much of that!" Paris giggled.

"And last but not least," Rayquaza said, turning to Aaron, Raiki, and the soldiers who had accompanied them to Gal's throne room. The Charizard couple was not present because Charlie was in the Pokémon Center recuperating from his wounds and Charla was refusing to leave his side, but like everyone else from the battle that couldn't attend the ceremony due to their injuries, they were assured similar rewards at a more private affair. "Team Auraforce and the 487th...for defeating Gal at long last and ending his reign of terror, for rescuing Charlie and avenging Allen, for proving yourselves once again to be the greatest of heroes…you, too, shall receive the Divine Scale! Wear them with honor!"

"Oh, we will Your Excellency, we will!" Kanga said excitedly as she received her scale.

"Heh, another trophy for our collection, huh pal?" Raiki asked, admiring his medal.

"I'm surprised there's any room left at your place considering all the things we've accumulated over the years," Aaron joked.

Raiki nodded. "Yeah, I was considering adding an extension to the attic to store it all!"

"And if ye think that shiny thing ye're wearing is impressive, then what do ye say tae this?" Scotty asked. "A record-breaking TEN MILLION points, putting ye back on top of the charts—as if there were ever a doubt of that!—along with the first pair of badges to commemorate a brand new rank named in yer honor: the Aura rank!" As everyone gasped and Aaron and Raiki's jaws dropped in disbelief, Scotty handed them their badges, two glowing discs shaped like Aura Spheres made of some of the most precious metals and gemstones in all the world. "Here ye go, lads! Ye've earned it!"

"Scotty…this is…" Aaron stammered in astonishment.

"Like the awesomest reward ever!" Raiki squealed giddily. "Aaron, buddy, this is the _second_ time we've gotten badges and new ranks modeled after us because we shattered the records of all who came before us!" He frowned. "And both times those badges and ranks bore more of a resemblance to you than to me. Scotty, why don't we have a Raichu rank or Thunder rank or something like that?"

"Because Raichus are more common than Lucarios," Scotty said.

"Yes, but I'm a samurai Raichu whose bloodline wields a sacred sword!" Raiki protested.

"Whereas just about every Lucario ever has been a hero of justice," Scotty rebutted. "Which makes them more worthy of gettin' a rank to themselves, don't ye think?"

"…Eh. Point," Raiki admitted, somewhat disgruntled.

"Wooo! Way to go, Dad!" Pichu cheered.

"You rock, Grandpa!" Sapphire shouted.

"Nice job, honey! Won't our new son or daughter be elated to hear that you're the best in town…again?" Delia asked, raising the egg she had laid several weeks ahead of schedule just a couple of hours ago, coincidentally at the exact moment Gal had died. (And people had been expecting _Charla_ to be the one to give birth first…)

"Heh, don't get too complacent now, because I'm sure the rest'll try their best to catch up to ye now that they have yet _another_ hurdle to jump to reach yer level," Scotty chortled when he saw the envious looks on the faces of the other Rescue Teams.

"Oh, come on! That's not fair! They're blatantly trying to preserve the status quo so guys like us can never catch up!" Gonzap complained.

"Well, we _are_ kind of new to this thing," Wes pointed out. "At least that three million point bonus was a nice jumpstart to shoot us up the rankings."

"We've got a ways to go before we get anywhere near the top, though," Rui lamented.

"If you want to get to our level, you're going to have to work for it," Raiki said.

"And we welcome the challenge," Aaron said. "The stronger we all are, the more good all of us can achieve in the trouble to come and any other crises the future may hold."

"Okay…you watch your backs then, because one day, we're going to take the position of top Rescue Team right out from under you!" Forsythia promised.

"Unless Team Aurabolt does it first, at the rate they're going…Scotty, I don't suppose their exploits overseas merit any points?" the Mayor asked.

"Eh, dunno…not sure Sinnorre's in our jurisdiction…I'll think on it," the Abra said.

As the crowd applauded Team Auraforce's latest victory, Mika complained to her husband, Lucas, "Honey, why aren't _you_ up there getting nice medals and badges?"

"Because I've yet to find teammates badass enough to be my equals!" he boasted. "Well, except for the Boss, anyway…"

"What about Team Auraforce?" his daughter, Kira, asked.

Lucas's face fell. "They wouldn't let me in…"

"Don't worry dear, you'll get a team of your own someday…and it'll be even better than theirs!" Mika assured him. "Well, almost as good. Maybe." Lucas sweatdropped.

"Hey Dad, I hear that the time-traveling Grovyle from Team Quantum looked a lot like you. Any idea what that's about?" Mika asked her father.

Lucas frowned in thought. "Well, so far as I know, I don't have any brothers or cousins who are cool enough to pass for that guy…"

"Maybe he's a kid you had with some other womon before you and Mom hooked up?" Kira suggested.

"Don't be ridiculous, Lucas never had children with anyone but me!" Mika asserted.

Lucas nodded. "That's right." Someone tugged on his elbow, and he glanced down to find a Treecko with big square glasses looking up at him. "Yes?"

"Excuse me, are you Lucas Emeril?" the Treecko asked.

"Yes. Who's asking?" Lucas asked.

"My name is Max Maple, and I believe I'm your son," the Treecko said.

Lucas's eyes bulged out of their sockets. "Wait, what?"

Mika's eyes turned red with fury. "LUCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS!"

"Wow, this is awkward," Kira commented as her enraged mother chased her screaming father away. "So you're my half-brother?"

"It would appear to be that way, yes," Max said.

"How'd that happen?" Mika asked.

"Well…" Max started.

Unfortunately, the story of how Max was actually Lucas's son would have to wait for another day, as this revelation was not the only parental surprise to befall someone this day. "Nuken, I need to talk to you for a second," Missy the Misdreavus whispered as she appeared behind the Shedinja.

Nuken started. "Missy! What are you doing here? I'm in the middle of something!"

"It's really important!" she hissed.

"What could be more important than this?" he snapped.

"I'm pregnant," she replied.

There was a stunned silence. "You're…and it's…" Nuken stammered in disbelief. Missy nodded. "Ah. I see. That is important. Thank you for telling me." He promptly fainted.

Missy blinked. "Well, he took that better than I expected."

"Yeah, I was sure he'd go on a homicidal rampage or something, like he usually does whenever he gets some surprising news," General Fafnir commented.

"I don't suppose fatherhood will mellow him out any?" General Smaug asked.

"This isn't his first kid, so I highly doubt it," General Tiamat said.

"Congratulations, Nuken! I hope this turns out better than your _last_ little, ah, dalliance did," Rayquaza commented to the unconscious husk.

"Well, at least this womon's a well-meaning ditz rather than an evil psychotic bitch," Latios commented.

"That's right, I am," Missy said cheerfully.

"This is wonderful news, and gives us another reason to celebrate," Latias said in delight, after giving Latios a rather painful headache.

"And me another wedding to plan!" Delia said enthusiastically, causing her children and grandchildren to sweatdrop.

However, there was one final surprise that would occur before this grand ceremony could truly be considered complete. "Everyone, I have just had a vision!" Sabrina announced.

Everyone gasped, and the band fell silent in alarm. "Oh dear," Rayquaza murmured.

"Oh great, what catastrophe do we have to look forward to next?" Scotty groaned.

"What did you see, Sabrina?" Aaron asked in concern.

"While the alliance we have forged with the Draconian Empire has made us stronger than ever, on Pokémon Square's darkest day that union will be tested to its limits when our greatest enemies gather against us in a force larger and more terrifying than we ever imagined," Sabrina told them. "There will be _many_ casualties on both sides, our shields shall fall, and all shall seem lost."

A pall fell over the crowd as they absorbed this horrifying prediction. "Oh, wonderful," Latios sulked. "Guess we're doomed, then."

"Not necessarily…there's more, isn't there?" Latias asked.

Sabrina nodded, tears glistening in her eyes. "Despite the terrible and overwhelming odds…we will not be alone, and defeat is not as certain as it may seem. Great and powerful allies shall come to our aid, some from places we never expected…and so long as we hold out long enough for them to arrive, in the end…in the end, we shall prevail! Do you see? There is hope! So long as all of us stand together, our hearts as one against the evil that seeks to overwhelm us…so long as we do not give in, and fight to the very last…in the end, despite the strife, despite the bloodshed, despite the heartbreak, _we will win!_ No matter how unlikely it may seem, no matter how far away the dawn may be, as long as we remain united, POKÉMON SQUARE SHALL NEVER FALL!"

There was a long stunned silence as everyone processed this. And then…

A cheer loud enough to be heard from the Sky Tower above broke out. Elated, the bands started playing again, and spectacular fireworks exploded as the flyers performed awe-inspiring stunts to celebrate this news. As the Rescue Teams and soldiers gawked and laughed in disbelief, Rayquaza sighed in relief, and Latios found himself crying with joy, Latias smiled, knowing that, in the end, everything would work out. So long as they stood together, there was no force on this world or any other that could defeat them.

…

Meanwhile, somewhere in the wilderness…

A group of mangy, dirty, and exhausted barbarians stared listlessly at the campfire they were gathered around. "Well," an Arcanine said finally. "That could have gone better."

"That's an understatement," a Quilava muttered, too worn out to hit his companion for saying something so stupid.

Not all the members of the Burning Horde had been killed or captured during the battle. In the chaos caused by the mass evacuation from the battlefield just before Mt. Blaze was destroyed, several dozen barbarians had managed to slip through the cracks and flee to safety. The Draconians were too busy dealing with their brethren to notice, so these deserters had managed to escape without a trace. What they were going to do with their newfound freedom, however, none of them could figure out. They were too small to wage a counterattack against the forces that had destroyed their livelihood, and without Gal, the nucleus that had bound them together in common purpose had faded, causing old tribal rivalries and blood debts to reassert themselves, grudges and vendettas rising to the surface and making it unlikely for them to work together without killing each other.

But if that were the case, what was left for them? Returning to their old life of preying on weaker Pokémon, of being bandits and scoundrels and killing each other in petty squabbles? While that had been good enough for them once, after the time they had spent in the Horde, after tasting _real_ power and glory and riches beyond their wildest dreams, that lifestyle no longer held much appeal. But what else could they do? They were tired and beaten and defeated. Their spirit had been broken. On some level they wanted payback, sure…but they weren't stupid enough to overlook how impossible that was.

If only there were a way to rekindle that fire…power to make them feel strong again, a leader to show them the way, a purpose to help them band together again. But without a mighty warlord with a vision like Gal's, where were they going to get any of that?

The answer to that unspoken question revealed itself when a cloaked figure suddenly appeared at the edge of the campsite, as if from nowhere. The barbarians clumsily staggered to their feet and reached for their weapons. "Identify yourself!" a Primeape snarled, trying not to let his axe slip from his numb and exhausted gloves.

"Who the Abyss are you? What do you want?" an Aipom snarled.

The figure raised its arms. "Calm yourselves, friends. I come in peace."

"You ain't no friend of ours!" a Charmeleon snapped.

"Oh, but I am. I was a very…close friend of your fallen leader, Gal," the figure said.

They hesitated at this. "You…you knew Gal?" the Arcanine asked in surprise.

The figure nodded. "Indeed. It was I, and those I serve, who gave him some of the power he was renowned for…the power that made him into a god."

The Quilava snorted. "Fat load of good that did him…Gal's dead."

"That it did," the figure admitted. "But while Gal was ambitious and smart enough to accept power when it was offered to him…there are some forces he was unwilling to grasp. Some powers he was uncertain he wished to commit himself to. Perhaps if he had taken that power…he would not have lost."

"But he didn't take it, and he lost, so what's all that mean to us?" a Numel asked.

"The Burning Horde is defeated and scattered, and Gal slain…but this conflict is far from over. Do you not wish to avenge your brethren? To get payback for your destroyed home and slain comrades, to burn Pokémon Square to the ground and claim the riches and secrets it holds?" the figure asked.

"Oh, aye, we'd love to," the Arcanine said. "But I don't think we're exactly in any condition to do all that at the moment."

"You might be…if you were willing to unite again with your scattered kin…and to accept the power I have to offer you…the power even Gal feared…" the figure suggested.

The barbarians exchanged looks. "That…sounds interesting…" the Charmeleon said.

The Primeape frowned. "Hang on, now…if Gal was afraid to use this power, then why should we even think about accepting it?"

"Because you aren't really in a position to refuse," the figure pointed out. "Without it, you are nothing…weakling scum who shall die forgotten, leaving no mark on history and failing to avenge yourselves against your foes. But with it…all sorts of…_other_ possibilities become available. So…what do you say?"

The figure's words sank in. The barbarians fidgeted uneasily, knowing that he spoke the truth. "All right…I guess we're in," the Numel said unhappily.

The figure nodded, pleased. "Just as I thought you would."

"What is this power, exactly?" the Quilava asked.

The figure opened a palm, a tongue of black flame appearing in it. As the barbarians stared in wonder and greed, the figure grinned. "The power…of Shadow."

…

Meanwhile, in the Amber Palace…

A Mothim entered the Hive Queen's throne room and bowed, averting his gaze from Her Majesty's immense form, knowing her beauty was far too much for his unworthy eyes to gaze upon. Many servants stupider than he had foolishly thought themselves up to the task of looking upon her, only to tear their eyes out and kill themselves, unable to process her sheer majesty and grandeur. "Your Majesty, I bring news of your rival, Gal."

The Hive Queen stirred, her behemoth form constantly being tended to by mindless drones and slaves, feeding her, cleaning her, and carting away the eggs she endlessly birthed. "Gal? What has that stupid monkey done now?"

"Died, Your Glory. Killed in a joint attack by Pokémon Square and the Draconian Empire, his army shattered, his mountain destroyed," the Mothim reported.

"I see…" the Queen murmured. She grabbed a slave who was too slow in bringing her food and stuffed it in her mouth. "Pah. He is no loss. Just another expendable mammal. I did not expect he would be of much assistance in the impending invasion against Pokémon Square anyway, and his removal gives me one less rival to deal with later."

"As always, you speak naught but sacred truth, My Queen," the Mothim said reverently.

"Of course I do, you poor stupid thing. I tire of looking on you, depart before I decide to eat you," the Queen said.

"As you command, My Queen," the Mothim said, concealing his disappointment as he left the chamber. It would have been the greatest of honors to be consumed by the Queen, to be digested and reborn as one of the many new soldiers she was birthing…the enhanced new breed of Bug Pokémon, modified and empowered by the gifts of their Nihilator allies, who would fall upon the town of Pokémon Square and devour it, then Kanjohenn, then the rest of the world, once they achieved maturation.

"A pity Gal died so soon…I was looking forward to eating him myself. Or perhaps laying eggs in him, I hadn't decided," the Queen mused to herself. "Oh well. I didn't need him anyway. With my new children and the weapon I have been given…the means to control the _ultimate_ Bug-type…I already have everything I need to wipe Pokémon Square from the face of the earth. Those mangy primates would just have gotten in the way." She looked at the cassettes she was clutching in one of her appendages and laughed…and far below her chamber, in the labyrinth extending deep beneath the Amber Palace, a giant egg pulsed, the _thing_ inside it reacting to her elation…and greatly looking forward to the day it would hatch, and be allowed to kill once again.

…

Meanwhile, beneath Mt. Blaze…

All was still and quiet in the ruins of the collapsed volcano. Groudon slumbered, his immense form buried beneath thousands of tons of solid rock. The lava had cooled and hardened as well, as if to show that the fires that had fueled Mt. Blaze for so long had finally been quenched and were also at rest…

However, something was not yet ready to go to sleep. Cracks formed on the surface of the solidified lava, spreading and growing wider as something pounded away from underneath. Finally, the ground shattered and a claw emerged from the depths…a claw that looked as if it were made out of lava…

A claw with a crimson crystalline sphere imbedded in its back…

…

Meanwhile, in Team Rocket headquarters…

"Hey, Vicious? Can you hear me?" Hun, the elite Rocket Steelix, called into T-Bone's cell, a cube made of some of the world's strongest alloys with an actual physical door rather than a force field or laser bars that could get shorted out if there were a power outage or something like that.

The Tyranitar, currently sitting on a bench in the cell, looked through the slit on his cell's door at Hun in annoyance. "My name is T-Bone, not Vicious."

"Not anymore, it's not. I think you've pretty much lost all claim to that name forever now," Hun said. T-Bone grunted but said nothing. "How're you feeling?"

"I betrayed my town and caused the death and torture of my best friends, am reviled as one of the most hated traitors in the history of Pokémon Square, my son is being raised by another mon who'll probably do the job better than I ever could, my wife is a Shadow Pokémon being held captive in some Nihilator hellhole, my one chance to redeem myself by turning myself in was taken from me when I got dragged back here, and I've been thrown into a cell so strong that even I can't break out of here and left to rot. How do you think I feel?" T-Bone snarled.

"Well, pretty lousy, when you put it that way," Hun admitted. "But you don't _have_ to be in here, you know. The Boss said if you promise not to do something stupid like trying to turn on us again, he'll let you out. He's even willing to let you join the team they're sending to the place where your wife is being held _and_ give you the job of executing J now that we've 'extracted' all the information we can use from her. You can't tell me that doesn't entice you at all?"

It did, but T-Bone wasn't going to let Giovanni have the satisfaction of knowing that. "No deal. I've made my decision. I'm through with Team Rocket."

"Yeah, but Team Rocket isn't through with you," Hun pointed out. "You didn't really think you'd be able to get away with leaving us, did you? Once you get in, you can never get out. Those are the rules."

"I don't care. I'm done being Giovanni's puppet," T-Bone said. "He wants a strongmon or 'Iron-Masked Marauder,' he can get some other shmoe to do the job, because I'm through. I screwed up once by betraying my home and my friends, rather than going to them for help. I let my pride blind me to the right solution. Even though they all hate me now, even though my wife and my son will probably never forgive me for what I've done, I'm not going to betray them again. I'm a Rocket no more."

Hun grimaced. "The Boss doesn't see it that way."

"Fuck him. He can kill me if he likes, but I'm not changing my mind," T-Bone said.

Hun shook his head. "If you keep acting this stubborn, it just might come to that."

"Heh, he can _try…_" T-Bone said with a savage grin.

"Not only that, he can _do_," Hun said seriously. "The only way out of Team Rocket is in a bodybag, Vicious, and if you don't change your tune, that may be exactly where you end up. Are you sure you want that?"

T-Bone shrugged. "At least I'll be out of this cell. And my name is T-Bone."

Hun sighed. "All right, I'll tell him you said that. He's not gonna like it."

"Good," T-Bone said smugly.

"If you say so…but Vicious, just so you know, you have friends here, too. And we don't want to see you go," Hun said.

"You're no friend of mine. And for the last time, my name is _T-Bone!_" T-Bone snarled.

"We'll see about that," Hun said, shutting the slot on the door and leaving T-Bone alone in the dark. The Tyranitar sighed and leaned against the wall, waiting for the future, and whatever it might bring for him.

Elsewhere in the headquarters…

Paradox entered Giovanni's office. "You wanted to see me…" The Celebi blinked and trailed off as she saw the condition of the room. The carpet had been savagely torn up, claw marks had been gouged into the walls and ceiling, and all the furniture and pieces of art had been smashed and ripped to shreds. "Sir?"

The Persian's back was to the time-traveler as he looked through the plate glass window making up the rear wall of the office, staring down into the massive chamber below and the scaffold-laden form of Project T. The superstructure, weapons, and most of the power systems were nearly complete. It would only be a matter of days now before the superweapon was ready. "Paradox," Giovanni said calmly, his voice not showing the slightest sign of the uncontrollable rage that had demolished the office. "So good of you to come. There are a couple of things I wish to discuss with you."

Paradox tensed. She had always known this confrontation would come, ever since she'd recommended the Boss send his nephew's team to Sinnorre. "Sir, I can explain-"

"Why you wasted resources and monpower retrieving T-Bone, going outside my explicit orders?" Giovanni interrupted, still not looking at her. "I would be happy to hear it."

Paradox blinked in surprise. That had not been what she had expected. "Sir?"

"I asked you a question, Paradox. Are you going to answer it? It is impolite to ignore a question asked by a superior…ha, but then again, I'm not really your superior, am I? No more than you are my subordinate…" Giovanni said.

Paradox wondered briefly if he hadn't heard what had happened to Mickey yet. Or did he know, and just not care? Even she had trouble reading Giovanni sometimes, and the immunity to probing his mind the makeshift immortality serum had granted him almost a thousand years ago had worn off long ago. "Oh. Um, sorry sir. We needed those extra Grunts and the Go-Rock Quads to accomplish our mission."

"Really? I find that rather hard to believe, Paradox, considering that when I authorized you those personnel, I gave you a list _specifically_ stating which teams or situations you were allowed to bring them in on, and, according to the reports I've received, the little debacle you engaged in at Mt. Blaze fit none of those criteria. You could have simply waltzed in there, froze time, grabbed T-Bone, and left without causing any trouble. Instead, you started a HUGE brawl and exposed yourselves to the Rescue Teams, making them—and by extension, Pokémon Square and the Draconian Empire—aware of your existence! Additionally, we suffered TREMENDOUS casualties, and while none of our mons died, I'm getting a lot of flak from Gordor for the condition his children are in. What were you _thinking,_ Paradox? Why did you disobey me?" Giovanni demanded.

Paradox took a deep breath. "Sir. As you are aware, my team and I have a…agenda which goes beyond Team Rocket. But one that, nevertheless, is parallel to Team Rocket's stated mission: to protect this world from devastation."

"Yes, and what does that have to do with you going against my orders and getting my mons injured, working crosswise against our purposes? Are you _trying_ to sabotage us?" Giovanni inquired angrily.

"No sir! But, you see…as I said, our loyalties go beyond Team Rocket. There is a disaster coming even worse than the one that destroyed the world a thousand years ago, the one you managed to live through," Paradox said. "You are striving to make Team Rocket strong enough to survive it. I, on the other hand, am trying to make sure _everyone_ can survive it. There are many threads in the tapestry of fate, and Team Rocket is just one of the ones that will eventually be woven together with the rest to defeat the Nihilators and the force they are trying to unleash."

Giovanni frowned. "And…the heroes of Pokémon Square and the Draconian Empires are also 'threads' in this 'tapestry?'"

Paradox nodded. "No event in history is really about a single person. It's about lots of different people, whose actions affect each other in countless ways both obvious and subtle. Everyone has a part to play, some bigger and clearer than others."

"Like any story or performance…" Giovanni murmured. "Which is a fitting metaphor for life, I suppose. But what does this have to do with your going against my orders?"

"While you may not have thought the teams I engaged to be that significant, they are more important in the long run than you know," Paradox said. "Each of them has a role, no matter how miniscule, in granting us the final victory over the forces of evil. For them to be able to perform that role, however, they must unlock their full potential. A few of the heroes we battled had hidden abilities that will prove vital in one way or another to winning the day, but the only way for us to unlock those powers was to fight them and goad them into surpassing their own limits. However, only a few of them had these abilities, while everyone else posed a distraction, a distraction that even we would have had difficulty in working around to coaxing forth the power we sought. So, we caused a distraction of our own by sending your Rocket Grunts and the Go-Rocks to engage the rest while we took care of our targets. Once we'd triggered their hidden power, we called it quits, grabbed T-Bone, and came back here. A waste of resources and monpower? Perhaps…but in the end, I believe the net benefits will greatly outweigh the costs."

"Ah, I see," Giovanni said slowly. He whirled around abruptly, eyes bloodshot with rage. "Tell me then, is the net benefit of tricking me into sending my nephew to Sinnorre so that he could inadvertently unleash the unimaginably evil duo of Mewgle and Leviathan to ravage the world and cause untold devastation greater than the cost…namely, his life, and all those that those two will kill before they are put down?"

Paradox swallowed. "Ah. So you heard."

"Indeed I did. I just got a call from Jessie and James a few minutes ago, blubbering about how badly they'd screwed up this time," Giovanni hissed, his frame shivering with barely controlled fury. "I shouldn't have had to hear this from them, Paradox. I should have heard it from you. Why didn't you tell me that sending them to Sinnorre to get them out of the way would lead to this?"

"If you had known, would you have sent them?" Paradox asked.

Giovanni narrowed his eyes. "Ah. So you _did_ know what would happen, didn't you?"

"I can see things differently from people like you. All the possibilities, all the potential consequences that could come from a given action…and it's because of this I knew that sending Mickey to his death was the right thing to do," Paradox said regretfully.

Giovanni's ear twitched. "Letting my nephew _die_ was the right thing to do?"

"For the good of all, sometimes one life must be sacrificed," Paradox said, though it didn't sound like she entirely believed it.

"I am well aware of that Paradox, but this sacrifice of one life—_Mickey's_ life-has unleashed an evil that will end MILLIONS of lives! Why?" Giovanni snarled.

Paradox took a deep breath. "I had you send Mickey to Sinnorre, knowing full well that it would lead to Mewgle's rebirth and the release of Leviathan. I also _knew_, however, that it would lead to the eventual salvation of us all, including the souls of Mickey and everyone else making up that great beast."

Giovanni frowned. "Explain. And it had better be good, or I'll find a way to kill you permanently, no matter _how_ many time travel tricks you have up your singularity."

"As I said, everyone has a part to play in obtaining the ultimate victory, some more than others, and there are those who possess hidden potential that must be fully unleashed in order to reach our final goal," Paradox said. "This is especially the case with Team Aurabolt. They are one of the most pivotal groups in the coming crisis, whose actions will spell the salvation or doom of everything and everyone you know."

"…Hmm. Once again, the fate of all rests on Ash's shoulders…why am I not surprised?" Giovanni murmured.

"Because you know as well as I do _why_ Ash is so important, Giovanni…and why Oblivion's Shadow is so obsessed with him," Paradox said, causing the former human to grimace and nod in reluctant agreement. "But Ash is not the only member of Team Aurabolt who will decide the destiny of all worlds. All of them will be crucial in defeating the final enemy, and all of them have powers that will seal that evil one's fate, powers they don't even know they have yet. Each of them must discover those powers on their own, while others must be…pushed into it. Leo DeKappa is one of them."

Giovanni frowned. "What, the fat Squirtle? What's so important about him?"

"More than you could possibly know," Paradox said. "He and the entity called Mewgle have dueled each other since the beginning of time in countless guises and incarnations with nothing less than the fate of all reality at stake. The forms they have taken now are merely the latest in this endless cycle…but it is a cycle that may be coming to an end soon enough due to all the other events happening around us, in no small part because I masterminded Mewgle's rebirth and acquisition of Leviathan."

"And I have yet to see why exactly this is a _good_ thing," Giovanni growled.

"Leo needs to reach his full potential if he is to help his friends save the Omniverse…but the only way for him to unlock that power is by fighting his destined rival, Mewgle, at the peak of his power," Paradox explained.

Giovanni blinked. "Then…what, this is another one those gambits you were playing in Mt. Blaze? Testing him and pushing him to the breaking point to make him stronger?"

"Pretty much," Paradox said.

"…And there wasn't a way to do that WITHOUT sacrificing my nephew and allowing an omnicidal maniac to get his claws on a monster that will allow him to depopulate entire countries?" Giovanni demanded.

"If there were, don't you think I wouldn't have found it by now?" Paradox shouted back, surprising the Persian. "Do you think I'm okay with playing chessmaster and sending people marching off to their deaths, unaware of what they're doing or why or what the end result will be? _This is the only way!_ If Mickey hadn't been sent to Sinnorre, Mewgle wouldn't have been freed, and he wouldn't have released Leviathan, and he wouldn't gain the power he's going to, which would mean Leo won't gain the power he _needs_ to, meaning Team Aurabolt won't be strong enough to stop the Ruler of Evil from destroying absolutely _everything. _This is the way things absolutely _have_ to be, or all our planning and work and suffering will be for _nothing_."

Giovanni sagged on himself, realizing to his astonishment that the Celebi was serious. "But…but then…why…why did it have to be Mickey? If…if it was so important…couldn't you have sacrificed some other pawn? Why…why my nephew?"

Paradox frowned, somewhat surprised that Giovanni was so upset. "I didn't realize you cared about him so much. He's not really your nephew after all, and you've always considered him a nuisance."

Giovanni sighed. "That he is, but he was the only person on Earth aside from me who lived through the apocalypse with all their memories intact, ever since the original Jessie, James, and the others died due to their immortality eventually failing. The serums we took _were_ still experimental, after all. So…we shared a bond of sorts. While my being his uncle was a convenient fiction, in some respects I think I actually came to view him as a nephew. An incompetent, bumbling, exasperating nephew, but still family. And now he's gone, and I'm the only one left from the old world that was never killed off and reincarnated. Why did you have to use him, Paradox? Why Mickey?"

Paradox averted her gaze. "Because most people aren't immortal Meowths who've been alive for over a thousand years, and thus provided the perfect flesh receptacle Mewgle could use to rebuild his body."

"…Oh. I see," Giovanni said, unhappily seeing the logic in that.

"And I couldn't have sent _you_ because you'd never have gone, and you're _needed_ here, and-" Paradox started.

"Needed by Team Rocket, or by you?" Giovanni asked cynically. "Wait, don't answer that. I'm not sure I want to know."

"Giovanni…with or without me, you still have an important role to play in creating the perfect future we both dream of. The one you want to make, and the one where I was born," Paradox said.

"How? Am I going to have to sacrifice myself heroically? Be killed by the so-called 'heroes' once the greater threat is abolished because I represent an evil they cannot abide any longer?" Giovanni asked snidely.

"No, nothing like that!" Paradox protested.

"What, then?" Giovanni snorted.

"…I can't tell you," she said. As he started to roll his eyes, she quickly said, "But it's something you'll live to see, and something you'll be happy to be a part of. And…at the end, once everything is over, you'll get Mickey back. All of the souls that have been swallowed by Leviathan will be resurrected with new bodies, including him."

"Oh yes, and that'll certainly make up for all the destruction Mewgle will cause in the meantime, and the horrible ways Mickey will suffer between now and then," Giovanni said, clearly unimpressed.

Paradox managed a smile. "Come on. This is Mickey we're talking about. Hasn't he suffered worse, even _before_ he gained immortality?"

"…Hmmph. I suppose he has at that." Giovanni sighed and rested his head between his paws. "There really was no other way?"

"No," said Paradox. And, as horrible as it sounded, she hoped that there really hadn't been, because otherwise it would mean all the awful things she had been forced to do for the sake of her mission had been utterly pointless.

"And there's no chance of you, I don't know, going back in time and preventing this from happening?" Giovanni asked.

Paradox shook her head. "While I have the power to alter history in minor ways without any real consequences-since those changes don't really matter in the scheme of things-a change that big would create a divergent timeline, which not only means _this_ timeline, where Mickey died, would still exist, but it would also mean a future will come into being where we failed in our endeavors and the Ruler of Evil returns to full power and destroys all reality. Normally a timeline like that could exist anyway, due to the way the universes propagate, but since this universe is the one where the Ruler of Evil was sealed, it's been 'time-locked' so no divergent timelines can exist unless created by a temporal operative like myself, and since the Ruler of Evil's presence makes any timeline containing it impossible to delete, if such a future were to occur, there'd be no way to undo it. And since I _don't_ want to create a divergent timeline, that means I have to be _extremely_ careful in how I make sure events unfold so that the only future which exists at the end of all this is the one I come from. The existence of any other future could spell the doom of the entire Omniverse." It was actually quite a bit more complicated than that, but it was the simplest way she could boil down the reason she couldn't act without giving him a five hundred year-long course in quantum mechanics.

Giovanni grimaced. "And here I thought your powers were something to envy…"

"There's a lot of responsibility that comes with being a Temporal Knight. It's a heavy burden, and not one I think you would do well with," Paradox said. "There is one thing I can assure you of, though: no matter how hard things get and how impossible things seem, so long as things proceed as planned, you'll get Mickey back and everyone else will receive the happy ending they deserve."

"Even people like you and me?" Giovanni asked skeptically.

Paradox shrugged. "You, yes. Me? Well…we'll see about that."

Giovanni sighed. "Then I suppose I have no choice but to believe you, loath as I am to do so now that the full extent of your manipulations are clear."

_Oh Giovanni, you have no _idea_ the full extent of my manipulations,_ Paradox thought sadly to herself as the Persian continued.

"Know this, however. Even if we are on the same side, so to speak, I don't trust you. Your goals are beginning to look suspiciously dissimilar to my own, and it's already been demonstrated how going along with your wishes can cost a person dearly. If you burn me again, I will find a way to nullify your time powers and make you pay. I have a great deal of money and some of the best scientific minds in the world at my disposal, so don't tell me something like that is impossible to do with my resources," Giovanni warned her.

"All right. I will keep that in mind." She paused. "Was…there anything else, sir?"

"Yes, actually. Before initiating communication silence, Jessie and James informed me that they were going after Mewgle to 'make him pay.' You and I both know they have absolutely no chance of success. What I want to know is…Paradox, are _their_ deaths necessary to create the future you are striving for, too?" Giovanni asked.

Paradox considered for a moment. "…I'll see what I can do."

"Good," Giovanni said, turning to face the window again.

"And Giovanni…I really am sorry about Mickey," Paradox said quietly. Giovanni didn't reply. The Celebi left the room, both of them lost in their own thoughts.

They were both trying to make an ideal world. Was it worth all the sacrifices they were being forced to make so that it would come to pass?

…

Meanwhile, in Pueltown…

There was nothing left of the Selene theater but a big smoldering crater. The police had cordoned off the area and were interviewing the startled theatergoers as to what had happened while Joys from the local Pokémon Center checked everyone's health and gave out coffee and hot cocoa. Team Nightshade, Maren, and Jerry sat on a street curb nearby, watching the activity listlessly. The police had already finished getting their statements, so there was nothing left for them to do but sit and drink and stare at the last place where they had seen Nando, Hissssa, or Team Perdition. No bodies had been discovered so far, but considering they had been standing at the cusp of the blast—heck, three of them had _been_ the blast—none of them felt particularly hopeful that they had survived.

An air of gloom and depression hung over the group, one that not even the best hot chocolate in the world could fix. (Well, maybe if there had been marshmallows…) And why shouldn't they have been? Not only were two good friends of theirs most likely dead (and in Jerry's case, his father too), but they had all been reminded of their shortcomings and just how far they were from the ideal of a heroic Rescue Team. They had defeated Team Perdition, but the demonic trio's accusations and demonic screams of hatred, their willingness to kill themselves and everyone around them in the slim hope of destroying those they blamed for all their suffering, still lingered in their minds. Had Gooey and his cohorts been right? Would it have been better if they had died after all?

"I have news," Janine said as she abruptly appeared beside them. They were all wallowing so deeply in self-loathing (well, except Jerry, who was just depressed that his father had probably died a monster) to jump in surprise.

"What is it?" Maren asked, not sure she really cared.

"I have spoken to several witnesses, and many report seeing two streaks of light shoot in opposite directions from the explosion as it consumed the theater," Janine reported.

"So?" Mary asked desolately.

"One headed north, and looked as silvery as moonlight. One headed south, and was wreathed in flames," Janine said.

"Ssso?" Evan hissed miserably.

Gary, however, stirred. "Wait…moonlight? Fire? You don't think…"

"They might still be alive?" Mary gasped, snapping out of her funk.

"Even my dad?" Jerry asked hopefully.

"Well, it's possible," Maren admitted. "Team Perdition _were_ demonic, which means exploding might not have killed them…and Hissssa and Nando had supernatural abilities of their own, which means the stuff they told us when they were holding back the blast might not have been just a lie to get us out of harm's way…"

"Then…Hissssssa might be all right?" Evan squealed. "Hooray! I'm not sssingle again!"

"Let's not be too hasty," Mary said, though it was clear from the look in her eyes how badly she wanted to cling to this slim hope. "They could still have been vaporized in the blast. But…but they _did_ have power…they could have made it, right?"

"What difference does it make?" Gary asked pessimistically.

They looked at him in surprise. "What do you mean, Gary? It means our friends might be alive! And your enemies. And my dad, who's also your enemy," Jerry said, perplexed. "Shouldn't that news make you happy? Well, not Perdition being alive, I mean, but-"

"Oh, yeah, I'm thrilled that Nando and Hissssa might have made it," Gary said, though he didn't look particularly happy. "And I'd love to think that Gooey and the others are alive too, because, even if they were trying to kill us, I didn't want them to die…we've already done so much to them, it wouldn't be right for them to throw away their lives like that. But…so what if they're alive or not? Even if they were dead, the result would still be the same. Team Nightshade is finished."

"F-finissshed?" Evan cried in alarm.

"What are you talking about, Gary?" Mary asked.

Gary glared at her angrily. "Are you blind, womon? Look what happened to the Selene theater! Look at it!" he shouted, gesturing to the crater. "That's _our_ fault! It's our fault just like nearly every other bad thing that's happened on this adventure has been our fault! Gooey's death and subsequent rebirth as a demon, the destruction of Chicole Town's livelihood, Torque losing his car and his career, and now this! Everywhere we go, we leave destruction and suffering in our wake! If it hadn't been for Nando and Hissssa, hundreds of innocent people could have _died_ because of us! It doesn't matter if they survived the explosion or not, they would never have been in a position to have to do that in the first place if it weren't for us!" He sagged back on himself in despair. "Nando told us we had the makings of heroes…but he was wrong. Team Perdition were right when they said we deserve to die…we're poison. Everything we touch, we ruin."

"But Gary, that…that's not true!" Jerry protested, as the others exchanged uncertain looks, the Gengar's words striking a little too close to home.

"Of course it's true! Look what happened to your dad, Jerry!" Gary snapped. "He became a monster, because of us! Just like Gooey and Torque lost their life and/or dreams and became monsters, again because of us! Maybe you should think about getting away from us before we turn you into a monster too, huh? Or blow you up! Or throw you in a lava pit! Or something else brutal and stupid and gratuitously painful!"

"Gary…" Maren whispered.

"Don't argue with me, Maren! You know it's true as much as I do! You knew we were bad news from the start, but you stuck with us in hopes that we could change…and for a while, I actually started to think we could. But it was all for nothing," Gary said bitterly. "We're nothing but screw-ups. We sucked at being bad guys, and we suck even more at being heroes. Heck, as good guys we're even more dangerous than we ever were when we were evil! And that's…" He paused, took a deep breath, and continued. "That's why…why I think we should disband Team Nightshade. We've caused enough pain to other people. Let's just end it and go our separate ways, before anyone else gets hurt."

"What? Break up the team?" Mary cried incredulously. "But…but Gary, we can't do that, can we?"

"…I don't know, Mary…maybe he'sss right…" Evan said unhappily.

"But-" Mary protested.

"Let'sss faccce it, Mary," Evan said unhappily. "We'll never be the heroesss our parentsss are. We'll never even come clossse. I don't know what they, or Hissssa, or anyone elssse, ever sssaw in usss…" The Medicham's shoulders sagged. She didn't even try to argue. It had been something she had feared for a long time now, but never voiced in terror that it might be true…and now she realized that it was.

"You can't disband," Janine insisted. "What of Princess Sara? You vowed to rescue her!"

Gary snorted. "Yeah? At the rate we're going, we'd probably push her off a balcony while trying to rescue her!"

"She can fly," Maren said.

"Then we'd accidentally dislodge a gargoyle and it would fall on her as she flew back up, smashing her into the ground!" Gary said.

"…That doesss sssound like sssomething that might happen around usss," Evan admitted.

"The gargoyle would probably be on fire, too," Mary said morosely.

"And packed with exxxplosssivesss," Evan agreed.

"And the ground would be covered in spikes," Mary said.

"_Electrified_ ssspikesss," Evan said.

"And-" Mary started.

"No! I can't let you do this!" Jerry protested. "I know things seem pretty bad, sure, but…but _I _believe in you! I know you can be heroes, if you just try!"

"We've _been_ trying! What do you think we've been doing ever since we got to this crummy continent?" Gary shouted. "And what's it gotten us? Nothing but broken dreams and demonically-powered former friends and tons of collateral damage and people hating us and swearing revenge everywhere we go! Name _one_ person we've helped who's grateful to us! Name _one_ person who we actually were heroes too!"

"Gary!" Hayzee shouted, running over.

"Ah, and here comes Hayzee, no doubt furious and ready to vow that she'll hunt us to the ends of the earth for ruining her show," Gary said as Hayzee approached him, and…

Grabbed him in a big Ursaring hug? "Thankyouthankyouthankyou!" she cried.

Gary blinked. "Buh?"

"The show was a tremendous success! Everyone _loved _it!" Hayzee announced gleefully as everyone else stared at her in disbelief. "They said it's one of the best shows they've seen all year! The drama, the costumes, the musical numbers, the special effects, the imaginative reinterpretation of a classic, even the surprise twist where the whole theater blew up after a spectacular battle against a horde of slavering vengeful demons…they can't stop raving about it!"

"…Um, they _are_ aware that that last part was real, right?" asked the confused Maren.

"Oh, that sort of thing happens so often in this town as part of a scripted production that most people assumed it was all part of the show," Hayzee said dismissively. They sweatdropped. "Oh, and they especially loved you, Mary!"

Mary blinked. "What? Who, me?"

Hayzee nodded. "Yes, they thought you were one of the best actors in the whole show!"

"But…I was a blade of grass," said the confused Mary.

"A very _believable_ blade of grass," Hayzee said. "There's quite a few gentlemon who inquired as to your name and forwarding address so they can send you flowers…not bad, huh?" Mary blushed, stunned speechless by this news.

"Wait. Then…then you're saying…you're saying we _didn't_ ruin your show?" Gary asked slowly, unable to believe what he was hearing.

"Not only that, but everyone's asking for advance tickets for the next showing! _And_ I've gotten sufficient funding and sponsorship to start on my next big project, a re-envisioning of the masterpiece _I want to be your Natu,_ the epic story of romance between a noble and a peasant…in SPACE!" Hayzee declared.

"I don't remember _I want to be your Natu_ happening in ssspaccce," Evan said, puzzled.

"That's the re-envisioning part," Hayzee said.

"Ohhhh," said Evan.

"I'd ask you guys to stay and help me with that one…but you've helped me out so much already, it wouldn't be fair to demand anything else of you! Plus, there's the small risk that you'll cause the whole city to blow up the next time you step on stage," Hayzee said. "In any event…here," she said, handing Gary the Shard of Creativity. "This is for you."

Gary stared at the crystalline trophy and the Compass Shard in it in disbelief. "This…this is for us?"

"Of course! I promised I'd give it to you if the play managed to be a success…and it was one, beyond my wildest dreams!" Hayzee said joyfully. "When I prayed to the Spirit for aid and he sent you all, at first I thought he had made a mistake…but now I see that he gave me _exactly_ what I needed! Tell him thanks for me the next time you see him, okay? Oh, and give him…_this…_" She kissed Gary on the lips.

Mary's jaw dropped in shock and envy. "Whoa," Jerry said.

"I did _not_ sssee that coming," Evan said.

Hayzee broke off from Gary and gave them a smile so sunny that it seemed to light up the night…or was that because someone was using Solarbeam? Or because lots of spotlights were focused on the crater? Eh, whatever. "Thank you so much…all of you! I couldn't have done any of this if it weren't for you! Because of you all, I've hit my big break, and I'll never forget it! You'll _always_ be welcome here!" With that, she walked away.

There was a long stunned silence. "Did…did that just happen?" Gary asked finally.

"You getting kissed?" Mary asked darkly.

"No! Well, yes, that too…but I meant, someone being grateful to us for something. Someone whose life we actually managed to make _better_ rather than screwing it up like usual," Gary said.

Evan blinked. "I…yeah…I think…I think that wasss…isss thisss what it feelsss like to sssuccceed? It'sss…it'sss ssso _beautiful…_" He started crying.

The Gengar broke into a wide grin and turned to their Togetic companion. "Maren, where are the last two compass pieces located?"

"Um, Chroma Ruins and Altru Tower," she recalled.

"And where are they from here?" Gary asked.

"To the north," Maren said.

"Which is where we think Nando and Hissssa went, right?" Gary asked Janine.

The Ninjask nodded. "That is what the witnesses said."

"Then in that case…pack your bags, team, because we're heading north!" Gary declared.

Mary gasped. "Then…does that mean…"

"We aren't breaking up?" Evan asked, crying tears of joy.

"That's right! Team Nightshade is still in action!" Gary said. "If we were able to make Hayzee happy without anything horrible happening to her, then that means we _must_ be on the right track! Maybe Nando was right, and we _can _be heroes after all! So we've gotta find him and tell him firsthand!"

"So long as you don't deliver Hayzee's message verbatim," Mary muttered.

"And we'll find Hissssssa, too!" Evan said eagerly. "I wonder if ssshe'sss grown any new headsss yet…that'd be kinky…"

"And the Princess!" Maren agreed.

"And maybe…Gary, can I come with you guys?" Jerry asked. "If my Dad's still alive, then maybe if I come with you, I'll run into him again when he and the others try to come back for revenge."

"Sure, and maybe while we're at it we can beat the evil out of those guys and get them back to normal!" Gary said, so giddy from Hayzee's heartfelt thanks that he was feeling ridiculously optimistic all of a sudden.

"And Evan promises not to throw you into any pits of lava, right Evan?" Maren asked, glancing at the Ekans.

Evan sighed. "Oh, all right…"

"I will come with you as well," Janine said. "Where Maren goes, so will I."

Maren blushed. "Oh, Janine…"

"Hey, who are you anyway?" Evan asked with a frown. "I know you're Maren'sss girlfriend and all…but what are you even doing here?"

Maren tensed and glanced at Gary, worried he was going to blow her and Janine's cover, which would be very…awkward. "Well, um, she's…"

"She came all the way up from Mirage Kingdom when she heard what a dangerous mission Maren was on with us because she wanted to make sure she'd be okay," Gary said. "And she just caught up to us now, right in time to see the show and help us fight off Team Perdition!"

"Yes, that's exactly right," Janine said, playing along.

Maren sighed in relief and mouthed _Thank you,_ to Gary.

_We'll talk more about this later,_ he mouthed back.

"Oh, okay. That sounds completely plausible," Mary said.

"Yeah, totally," Evan agreed.

"But wait, then why's she got all those cool ninja skills?" Jerry asked.

"Because I _am_ a ninja," Janine said. "It's my job."

"Oh. Right," Jerry said.

"And since you're all coming with us…Abyss, I might as well make you all part of the team!" Gary decided. "Jerry, you still have the badge we gave you, right?"

"I've been wearing it since before I got here," Jerry said. "Didn't you notice?"

"No, I did not," Gary said. "Mary, bring out the badges! Two of them, if you please."

"Okay," Mary said, rummaging through her Rescue Kit.

"Uh, wait, is this really necessary?" Maren asked. "I mean, you didn't give me a badge before now."

"That was then and this is now! Besides, you showed your stuff during the fight, so I see no reason not to induct you as a full member rather than just a tagalong," Gary said.

"Where'd you learn thossse movesss, anyway? They're pretty good for a boat captain," Evan commented.

"Er…the sea can be a tough place. You've got to know how to handle yourself," Maren said quickly. "You know, what with all the pirates and sea monsters and the like."

"Ah. That'sss true," Evan admitted.

"Found 'em," Mary said, pulling out two badges.

"Great, thanks," Gary said, taking them from her. "Now let's see, how do I do this? Isn't there a speech or something?"

"Yeah, but we've never usssed it sssinccce thisss isss the firssst time we've ever recruited anyone before," Evan asked.

"What about me?" Jerry asked.

"You were an honorary member, but you're full-fledged now. Mary, I don't suppose the Rescue Team handbook says anything on this?" Gary asked.

"We used the handbook for kindling a while back. Remember?" Mary asked.

"Oh, right. Hmm…oh, the Abyss with it. Here, you're in the team, put these on already," Gary said, thrusting the badges at Maren and Janine.

"That was…underwhelming," Maren complained as she and Janine put the badges on.

"Hey, it was spur of the moment, what did you expect?" Gary said. "Anyway, now that that's taken care of…northward ho! Maren, where should we head first?"

"The closest shard should be in Chroma Ruins. It's to the northwest of here. We'll have to travel overland, though, which means we'll be leaving my boat behind," Maren said.

"Thank goodness," Mary said in relief. "Now I won't have to be seasick again…"

"Until the trip home," Evan pointed out.

Mary grimaced. "I don't suppose we could take an airship instead?"

"Isssn't Redwing knocking all airssshipsss that enter hisss territory out of the sssky?" Evan asked. Mary's face sagged.

"Then to Chroma Ruins we shall go!...right after a good night's sleep," Gary said with a yawn. "We should all fit in the hotel rooms, right?"

"I don't take up much space," Jerry assured him.

"And I will share a bed with Maren," Janine said, causing Maren to flush.

"Yeah, I'm sure you will…" Mary muttered, glaring at them.

"Then let's get going! Onward to adventure…first thing in the morning," Gary said.

And so, with three new team members (since Maren hadn't officially been on the team before then, and Jerry has only been an honorary Nightshade) in tow, Team Nightshade headed off, the dark cloud that had hung over them since, well, ever beginning to break up as, for the first time in a _very_ long time…

They had hope for the future.

…

Meanwhile, somewhere to the south…

The moon shone down pitilessly on Team Perdition as they lay on the ground several feet away from the large crater they had dragged themselves out of, defeated and exhausted. Gooey and Sakurai's flames had gone out, and Bug Fink's numerous wounds looked to have gotten worse thanks to the explosion and subsequent crash landing. "I am…sorry, my brothers," Gooey panted. "I put…everything we had left into that attack…and we accomplished nothing. Team Nightshade…still live. We have failed…"

"At least _we're_ still alive," Sakurai wheezed. "Which means we can…have another shot at them…someday…once we heal…"

"Uhhhhhhh," Bug Fink moaned.

"Until then, I think I'll be…perfectly happy to just lie here until…my body stops hurting all over," Sakurai said.

"Indeed," Gooey said weakly. "And then, once we are recovered…we can set out to find Team Nightshade. We only lost because…they had more allies than we had expected. We will be more…careful when next we encounter them…" He managed to raise his head, glaring towards the north, where he could faintly sense their quarry was located. "Next time…next time, we shall not fail…"

"I would not be so certain of that."

The demonic trio was too worn-out to jump in surprise at the unfamiliar voice, so settled for looking around blearily. "Ugh…who said that?" Sakurai asked.

"Heoooooooo?" Bug Fink called.

"Rrrnnh…show yourself…or suffer the wrath of Team Perdition!" Gooey said, trying to flail his tentacles intimidatingly, only to make them flop around like limp noodles.

"Very well." A large Pokémon descended towards them on white wings, alighting with magnificent elegance and grace before them and somehow managing to loom over the trio, even seeming to overshadow Gooey, who was the biggest of all of them.

The demonic Octillery stiffened. "Such rage…such hatred…his darkness is one that outstrips ours by far!"

"Who…who _are_ you?" Sakurai asked as Bug Fink whimpered and bled on the ground.

"One who, like you, wishes to see Team Nightshade dead," the pale stranger told them.

"They have wronged…you, as well?" Gooey asked.

"Not necessarily. It's more like they stand in the way of something I wish to accomplish. They are currently doing my bidding without even knowing it, but soon enough they will outlive their purpose, and I will need them to be…eliminated," the stranger said.

"And you want…us to eliminate them?" Sakurai asked. "We'd love to, but we're a little…incapacitated at the moment."

"That can be changed easily enough," the stranger said. "Once I give you power…a power far greater than that which you currently wield."

Gooey frowned. "Our power is that…of the Abyss. What do you know…of power?"

"Far more than you neophytes. You call yourselves demons? Pah…your power is but a slim fraction of that wielded by a true denizen of the Abyss," the stranger said scornfully. "But I can make you stronger. I can make you powerful enough to destroy Team Nightshade and anyone else who opposes you."

"And what _is_…this power?" Sakurai asked skeptically.

The Togeking of the Mirage Kingdom grinned sinisterly as he was engulfed in a black aura, causing the trio to gasp in astonishment. "The power…of Shadow…"

…

Meanwhile, somewhere to the north…

"Unh…" Nando stirred and wearily opened his eyes, blinking as they adjusted to the darkness. He could see his beloved homeworld shining far above them, its healing light soaking into his body and restoring his depleted strength. With a grunt, he managed to stagger to his feet, glancing around to see that he and Hissssa were in the bottom of a deep crater, no doubt caused by their impact after the long flight from Pueltown. "Well, well…it looks like our boasts of resilience were not quite so empty after all…I wonder how far we have come? It must have been quite some distance..." He patted the scaly hide of the enormous serpent curled up next to him. "Hissssa, are you all right?"

Hissssa groaned and reluctantly uncoiled herself, her great heads rising above the Clefable. "Ugh…I've felt better," Hiss said.

"Yeah…I'm aching all over…" Ssa agreed.

"At leassst we aren't dead," a third head pointed out.

"Yeah," Hiss and Ssa agreed. There was a pause, and then they did a double-take and stared at the third head growing from a neck in between them in surprise. "What the…where did you come from?"

"The releassse of dark energy you usssed to hold back the exxxplosssion and keep usss from getting killed by the blassst allowed me to be born, asss well asss unlocking more of our latent powersss," the new head hissed.

"More powersss?" Hiss asked in surprise.

The new head nodded. "Yesss. Jussst look at yourssself and you'll sssee what I mean."

They did. Much to Hiss and Ssa's surprise, their necks had been shortened significantly, theirs and the new one's melding together into a thick serpentine trunk that ended in a wicked venomous blade. "Whoa, we have a tail!" Ssa cried in amazement.

"That'sss ssso cool! I've alwaysss wanted one of thossse!" Hiss said excitedly.

"Jussst like I've alwaysss wanted to be alive, and now I am!" the third head agreed happily. "And onccce we become more powerful, the othersss will be alive, too!"

Nando frowned. "The 'others?' There are more of you?"

"The other five headsss, naturally," the third head explained. "We've exxxisssted inssside of Hissssssa sssinccce the day ssshe hatched, but more asss potentialsss lurking in her sssubconsssccciousss than living thingsss. But usssing the power of her bloodline to protect Evan and the othersss wasss jussst the jumpssstart I needed to be fully realizzzed, and if we do it again enough timesss, the othersss will join usss sssoon enough!"

"Wow, ssso we have five other sssissstersss that we never knew about?" Ssa marveled. "That'sss ssso weird…"

"Won't Evan be thrilled, though?" Hiss pointed out. "He sssaid he'd love to sssee more of usss." She frowned. "Although…if we grow more headsss, won't we become evil, like musssty old Yamatorochi?"

"You usssed your powersss in the name of love, to protect sssomeone you care about," the third head said. "Asss long asss that'sss _all_ you ussse our powersss for in the future, you ssshould have nothing to worry about."

Hiss sighed in relief. "Thank goodnesss…I wasss alwaysss afraid I'd turn out like the ressst of the family…I'll try hard not to let thisss power go to my headsss."

"A wise decision," Nando agreed.

"Ssso, what ssshould we call you?" Ssa asked.

"Hmm…I always thought, if I became real, I'd like to be named 'Sssia," the third head said. "How about that?"

"Worksss for me," Hiss said.

"Welcome to the world, Sssia!" Ssa said, nuzzling her newborn sister. "What do you think of it ssso far?"

"Well, I'd like to sssee more of it than thisss hole in the ground firssst before making a decccisssion," Sia said. "Where are we, anyway?"

"Somewhere to the north of Pueltown," Nando said. "More than that, I cannot say."

"Then let'sss get out of here ssso we can figure out where we are and get sssome directionsss back to Pueltown and Evan!" Hiss said decisively.

Ssa moaned. "Oh, he mussst be ssso worried about usss, the poor dear…"

"He won't be worried onccce he sssees the three of usss, sssafe and sssound," Sia said. "Ssso let'sss get moving ssso we can get back to him!"

They climbed out of the crater and got their first look at where they were. Their jaws dropped in astonishment. "In the name of the Moon…" Nando whispered in awe.

"Holy ssshit!" Hissssa gasped.

The foursome found themselves standing in the middle of a vast field filled with acres and acres of two-foot tall berry trees stretching as far as the eye could see in every direction, split by rivers and roads and irrigation ditches. Interspersed between the trees were forests, lakes, protruding outcroppings and buttes made of rock interspersed with immense crystals, enormous statues of gods and heroic Pokémon, and sprawling towns of beautiful white-walled buildings covered in magnificent tile mosaics with roofs made of thatch and red shingles. Off in the distance was a majestic range of towering snow-capped mountains that seemed to reach up into the stars. Set among their foothills was an enormous and incredibly beautiful palace built in a style reminiscent of medieval Japunese fortresses that seemed to stretch from one end of the mountain range to another, with countless tiered towers and spires rising over the formidable walls. The grounds just outside the palace walls were beaten flat and devoid of berry trees, and had the look of some kind of massive training field. The palace's central keep was at least ten stories tall with a majestic winged statue of Mew placed on its front that seemed to stare protectively and lovingly at the towns and berry fields surrounding it. A pair of immense statues of vaguely humanoid androgynous figures with small wings and blank features stood protectively on either side of the keep. A cylindrical tower rose another six stories from the top of the keep, red, yellow, and blue stones set into its walls with what looked to be a pair of actual _wings_ extending out from the sides, spreading over the heads of the giants and stretching several dozen meters in either direction. Nestled in an elegant framework at the top of the tower was a tremendous crystal that radiated a glorious white light so bright it could be felt even from where Nando and Hissssa were standing countless miles away. Just looking at it made them feel peaceful, rested, and happy. Three smaller lights, one blue, one red, and one yellow, floated around the giant crystal in a small orbit, training light of their own on the immense radiant jewel.

"It is almost as beautiful as Fullmoon Palace in Feymarche," said an awestruck Nando, already composing numerous poems and sonnets in his head to describe this place.

"Where _are_ we?" Hissssa wondered.

"You are in the Berry Kingdom." The Clefable and giant three-headed Seviper jumped, startled to realize that while they had been gazing in awe at the landscape they had been surrounded by several dozen warriors; some black-clad ninjas, a number of Ghosts, and several formidable-looking soldiers in colorful armor with studs resembling Poffin covering their surfaces. "I hope you enjoy your stay here," the leader of the warriors, a very handsome Gallade in yellow armor said. "Because you will never be leaving it."

…

Meanwhile, on a beach in Sinnorre…

"What do you _mean_ you're not coming with us?" Jessie demanded angrily.

"I mean exactly what I say, Miss Jessie. Your plan to confront Mewgle to exact revenge for Mickey's death is a fool's errand, and one I will take no part in," Wabbaku said.

"But Mewgle killed Mickey! He killed those commandoes who weren't wearing rubber pants, in spite of their name claiming they did! Are you saying they don't deserve justice for what that monster did to him?" James shouted.

"Of course they do," Wabbaku said. "But what you seek to do is not the way to get justice. All you will do is get yourselves killed, and feed more souls to Leviathan's never-ending hunger."

"But with your magic, we could-" Jessie started.

"Do nothing," Wabbaku said. "You saw how ineffectual my powers were against Mewgle and that…strange protection of his. Additionally, my spirits cannot touch Leviathan, lest it devours them. My powers are useless against them…just as useless as _you_ will be should you try to take him on."

"Not true!" James said angrily. "I know how this thing works. If I challenge Mewgle to a Duel and win, he'll have to give Mickey back and release all the other souls he's captured…just like in Lu-Gi-Oh!"

"And you truly believe you can defeat him?" Wabbaku asked skeptically. "Mewgle _cheats._ The Squirtle who beat him before just barely managed to do it, and actually _died_ in the process, even if he got better. Can you honestly say that you are as good a player of a children's card game than he?"

James faltered at this. "I…well, no, but…"

"But at least we're going to _try_!" Jessie snarled. "Which is better than your plan, which is to run away and do nothing about it, you coward!"

"Hey! Wabbaku is no coward!" Gardenia said angrily.

"Nor do I intend to allow Mewgle and Leviathan to roam unchecked. I have a plan of my own to defeat him…one that I believe has a greater chance of success than your rash scheme," Wabbaku said.

Jessie frowned. "You have a plan too?"

"What is it?" Buzz asked.

"Mewgle said that there were only two people in all the worlds who are capable of defeating him," Wabbaku said. "We already know who one of them is…that Squirtle who beat him in Battlus."

"Oh! Then…you think we should go find him and get him to help us?" James realized.

"Not exactly," Wabbaku said. "While that Squirtle did indeed defeat Mewgle before…I am not certain he can do it now that Mewgle has bonded himself to Leviathan and become more powerful than ever."

"Then if you're not going to find him, what _are_ you going to do?" Jessie demanded.

"I told you, there's _two_ people in all the worlds who can defeat Mewgle," Wabbaku repeated. "That Squirtle is one of them…but I believe I have a lead on the other one. The spirits have told me what I must do to find and release her. With her power, it may be possible to defeat Mewgle, or strengthen the Squirtle enough so that he can do it instead."

"'Her?' Who is it?" asked the puzzled James.

"A powerful spirit who has clashed with Mewgle many times throughout history," Wabbaku said. "She knows him well, and will be more than willing to help defeat him."

"A spirit? As in, the sorts of things Leviathan can eat?" Jessie asked skeptically.

"Hence what I said about her strengthening the Squirtle," Wabbaku said.

"I don't know…it sounds like a bit of a long shot…" James said dubiously.

"And your plan to beat Mewgle in a children's card game is any better?" Wabbaku asked.

"At least that has precedent of working! Not like this wild spirit chase!" James retorted.

"And besides, it's not like your track rate with magic is so great either," Jessie said.

Wabbaku bristled. "What?"

"What are you saying?" Gardenia demanded.

"We relied on your spirits to lead us to Team Aurabolt. They failed. We relied on your spells to keep Mickey from turning into a demon. Those failed too," Jessie said viciously. "We trusted you to help us save him, and all it did was lead us into one bad situation after another, culminating in Mickey's death and the release of a great and terrible evil. I'm sick of your magic, Wabbaku. I think it's time we tried something else for a change."

James nodded in agreement. "Yeah, something that might actually work!"

"What? How dare you-" Gardenia snarled, drawing back a fist.

"Enough, Gardenia," Wabbaku said, looking tired. "If that is how they really think…if they believe that challenging an insane demon backed by a soul-devouring abomination to a card game will be more effective than seeking a solution through magic…then that is their decision. I will not try to stop them."

Jessie blinked in surprise. "You…won't?"

"No," Wabbaku said. "I fulfilled my debt to you long ago, Miss Jessie. I only stuck around to help Mickey. Now that Mickey's dead, I have no reason to stay with you. In fact, were it not for the fact that Mewgle was still a threat, I wouldn't even have a reason to stay on this continent. But Mewgle _is_ still a threat, and so I shall stay here until I have done everything I can to defeat him. That doesn't mean I have to stay with _you_, though."

"Then…then you're just letting us go, even though you believe it's a suicide mission?" asked a confused James.

"What else can I do? You have made up your minds. I have no way of stopping you," Wabbaku said. "It is your decision what to do with your life, not mine. If you refuse to heed my advice, then that is your choice. I hope it serves you well."

"Except it won't," Gardenia interjected.

"Hmmph! We'll see about that. Come on James, Buzz, Mondo, if we're going to get revenge on Mewgle, we're going to have to find him first!" Jessie said.

"Um, actually…" Mondo fidgeted. "I'm not coming with you guys."

Jessie started. "What?"

"But why not?" asked the surprised James.

"You guys may be stupid enough to think you have a chance against that monster…but I'm not," Mondo said. "I may be a nigh-immortal Ditto, but I don't think even that would save me from Mewgle or Leviathan. If Wabbaku thinks he knows a way to beat those guys that _doesn't_ involve us going head-to-head with them, I'm all for it, and would rather accompany him than go with you guys to certain death…if he'll have me, that is."

Wabbaku bowed gratefully. "I would be more than happy to have you with us, Mondo."

Gardenia smiled. "Well, at least _one_ of you sees sense."

"Coward!" Jessie snarled.

"Traitor to the cause!" Buzz…buzzed.

"But Mondo, why? How can you turn your back on us after all the fun times we've had?" James protested.

"…James, you thought I was your Chimecho all those times. I was undercover, remember?" Mondo pointed out. "And I hated every minute of it. Ugh…I swear, pretending to be that stupid was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my life, almost as hard as having to put up with you idiots without breaking cover and reaming you out for being such morons all the time. It's no wonder the Boss sent you guys here to keep you out of the way…too bad it led to Mickey getting killed, though."

"We'll show the Boss we aren't so easily disposed of soon enough…" Jessie said coldly.

"Yes, by defeating Mewgle and Leviathan and rescuing Mickey's soul, putting us back in his good books!" James agreed. Wabbaku, Gardenia, and Mondo sweatdropped.

"I suppose that this is the parting of the ways," Wabbaku said, almost sounding regretful.

"It looks that way…" Jessie admitted.

"Are you really sure you don't want to come with us?" James begged one last time.

"Yes," Wabbaku said.

"Absolutely," Gardenia said.

"No question about it," Mondo agreed. James pouted.

"Then…I guess we'll be seeing you," Jessie said.

"Not if you get swallowed by Leviathan, we won't," Gardenia said.

Buzz scowled. "You could have a _little_ faith in us."

"If Wabbaku doesn't, then neither do I," Gardenia said flatly.

"We'll see who's so smug and self-certain when we come back with Mickey's soul and Leviathan's head!" Jessie bragged.

James nodded. "Then you'll be _begging _us to let you back in the group and accept your apologies for doubting us!"

"Even if you did survive, which I highly doubt, I would not rejoin your team even if you offered me a million Poke'," Wabbaku said.

"Me neither," Gardenia said.

"Well, maybe for two million…" Mondo said.

Jessie sweatdropped. "Well, phooey to you, then!" James said. "Come on Jessie, Buzz, if they don't want to help us, that's fine with me! We don't need them anyway!"

"Yeah!" Buzz agreed.

"Right!" Jessie said with a nod. "After Mewgle, then…and when we'll get back, maybe you'll reconsider some of those things you said about us!"

"No," Wabbaku said.

"Nuh-uh," Gardenia agreed.

"Not in a million years," Mondo said.

Jessie threw up her wings in exasperation and flew off. James and Buzz followed. "Was it really right to just let them go like that?" Gardenia asked once they were out of earshot.

Wabbaku shrugged. "There was nothing we could have done. If they are willing to put their souls on the line, it is their choice, not ours."

"So, where do we go next?" Mondo asked.

"To see an old friend," Wabbaku said. "But first…"

He turned towards Sam and Max. The not-Lucario had pinned the flailing not-Buneary to the ground using his foot and was talking to someone on his cell phone. "Yes?…no!…no!…yes?…yes?…yes?…no!…yes?…no!…Holy congressional hearing to impeach the Governor of Alaska for building a bridge out of pork barrels to Russia to shoot a moose! We're on our way!" He hung up and let Max off the ground. "That was the Commissioner, Max! Our good friend the giant living statue of Abe Lincoln has been shot by a giant statue of John Wilkes Booth while attending a show at Ford's Theater!"

"What, _again?_ You'd think the first time would be reason enough not to go there again!" Max said incredulously.

"Not only that, but my foster son Sam Jr. has been framed for the assassination attempt, and we're the only ones who can clear his name and catch Booth!" Sam said.

"…Sam who?" asked the confused Max.

"You know, Sam Jr.! The giant talking cockroach? I hatched him in your inventory while you were a giant monster and adopted him?" Sam prompted.

"Mmm…nope, doesn't ring a bell," Max said.

"Oh for the love of…he's your _godson,_ Max!" Sam said in exasperation. "He was the ringbearer at your wedding! And he's your son's best friend!"

"Which son? I've got a ton of them," Max pointed out. "You know, rabbit and all? Though my wife's not…not that that seemed to stop her from churning 'em out, if you know what I mean…"

Sam grimaced. "Okay, I really did not need that mental image. And the son I'm talking about is Max Jr.!"

"They're _all_ named Max Jr.," Max said.

"Oh, right. Why did you do that again?" Sam asked.

"I'm not very good with names," Max said. "Anyway, I still don't remember this so-called 'giant cockroach son' of yours."

"He gave you a corndog for your last birthday," Sam said.

Max gasped. "Oh, _that_ guy! He's in trouble? Why didn't you say so in the first place? Come on, we've gotta save him, so he can give me more corndogs!"

"I take it this means you aren't going to stay to help us with Mewgle or Leviathan?" Wabbaku asked in disappointment. While he found the duo strange and rather terrifying, they were admittedly useful to have in dangerous situations.

Max snorted. "What are you, nuts?"

"Sorry, but we're needed home more," Sam apologized. "You'll have to take care of this mess on your own."

Gardenia sighed. "Figures."

"Oh well, the further from me they are, the happier I am," Mondo said.

"Likewise, you disgusting pile of talking chewing gum," Max said.

"How will you get back to your world?" Wabbaku asked.

"We'll drive there," Sam said.

"In what?" Gardenia asked.

"Our car, duh!" Max said.

They glanced around. "I don't see any car…" Mondo said slowly.

"Didn't it crash into Mewgle and explode?" Gardenia asked.

"And then get consumed in the blast which destroyed Hyperbeamoria?" Wabbaku asked.

"Yes, but that shouldn't have done more than scratch the paint," Sam said. "She should be here right about…now!" Nothing happened. "Ahem. I said, right about now!" Nothing happened. "I _said-_"

"Sam, I don't think she's coming," Max said.

"Don't be ridiculous, little buddy! She'd never abandon us!" Sam protested.

"What if she died?" Max asked. "It _was_ a big explosion…"

"The DeSoto can't die!" Sam insisted.

"Didn't she die once and go to Hell?" Max asked.

"She got better," Sam said stubbornly. "And she'll get better from whatever's happened to her this time, too! Just you wait and see!"

"I don't wanna wait," Max complained. "My short attention span won't allow it!"

Sam sighed. "Fine, we'll see if we can find another way home, then, and she'll have to catch up to us later…I don't suppose you know where we could find an interdimensional whozits my friend and I could use to get back to our world, do you?" he asked Wabbaku. "It's a bit of an emergency."

"I'm afraid I don't have that kind of power," Wabbaku apologized. "However…" He paused, listening to his spirits. "There are many powerful mages in the land of Fichina, far from here. It is possible one of them might know a spell that can get you home."

"So we gotta rely on some squishy wizards to help us out? Lame!" Max complained.

"If they give us any trouble, we'll just break their fragile bodies like twigs, little buddy. Which way to Fichina?" Sam asked.

Wabbaku gave them directions. "It's an extremely long way to walk, though, and that's without taking the desert surrounding the country into effect," the shaman warned them. "I hear there's a train you might be able to catch a ride on, though."

"A train? Oh, cool! We haven't rode one of those in ages!" Max said eagerly.

"Mainly because we usually get thrown off for not carrying tickets or causing some other ruckus," Sam said.

"Sam, never say 'ruckus' again," Max said.

"All right, little buddy," Sam said. "Thanks for the tip. Good luck with that godmoding nerd and his soul-eating serpent."

"And good luck to you with that giant living statue and cockroach foster son thing," Wabbaku said. _Did I really just say that? _He thought to himself.

They exchanged farewells and went their separate ways. "So, what about us?" Mondo asked. "Where do we need to go to release this ancient spirit thing?"

"Sadly, I alone am not powerful enough to awaken her," Wabbaku said. "However, with another like myself, who can commune with the spirits, we just might be able to manage it…and I know just where to find one, too."

"Where?" Gardenia asked.

"Treeshroud Forest," the shaman said.

Gardenia blinked. "Treeshoud Forest? Wait, isn't that where you sent…"

Wabbaku nodded, a smile on his face. "Precisely. I believe it is high time we paid a visit to our good friend, Michael Treesentinel…"

…

Meanwhile, over the sea…

The Leviathan twisted and undulated through the air, its long coils flexing behind it as it flew over the ocean, its shadow casting a pall of terror on all in the water below. Marine Pokémon and boats frantically tried to get out of the beast's path, but the Leviathan merely opened its mouth and inhaled, devouring their souls and leaving their corpses to rot on the surface of the sea, Sharpedo and other oceanic predators eagerly feasting on the feast Leviathan left in its wake.

Mewgle sat cross-legged on the beast's brow, a savage grin on his face that grew wider with every soul his steed consumed. "Yes, that's right, my friend…just keep feeding your hunger. Every soul you eat just makes me that much stronger…and soon we will be powerful enough to destroy Leo once and for all!" He frowned. "Not just yet, though. I'm not stupid enough to rush him right out the gate and try to destroy him now that I've been freshly resurrected. That'll just get me killed again faster than you can say 'Tetsu Namoru has a troubling obsession with giving his characters waaaaay too many zippers and belts' seven times in a row. No, if I want to win this time, I'm going to need to have a few extra aces up my sleeve…and I think I know exactly where to get them too, even though technically they aren't aces but another type of card." He cackled gleefully. "So with that in mind…let's go to Mah Jong City! I can sense there is a tournament about to begin there…and with the prize, not only will I be able to crush Leo…but I can at long last fulfill my dream of becoming Game Master of all reality! GYAHAHAHAHAHA!"

He waited for a moment, but Leviathan didn't react. He scowled. "You're a nice listener, but you kind of suck as a conversationalist…oh well, I suppose I could have worse partners. At least you're not…ugh! I don't even want to think about _that_ one." He patted Leviathan's head. "Yes, I think you and I will have a beautiful friendship…"

They continued on their way, leaving terror and death behind them. Mah Jong City had better watch out, because it was going to get a _very_ unwelcome visitor…

And he played a mean game of cards.

…

Meanwhile, in some distant mountains…

Doctor Tarantulas sighed happily as his robotic eye scanned the majestic snow-covered peaks rising all around them and the shimmering ribbon of the aurora rippling across the night sky. "Ahhhh, such beauty…such magnificence…such picturesque scenery zat you vouldn't zink existed outside of a postcard! Isn't it vonderful, Chobin?"

"Hmm? Was Doctor saying something of important importance? Chobin was not the listening because he were too busy rapinating a Smoochum in the craphole," said a parka-clad Chobin, who was indeed raping a sobbing Smoochum in the rear.

Tarantulas sighed and rolled his eyes. "Never mind, Chobin, you've ruined ze moment."

"Hooray for Chobin!" Chobin declared, tearing out the throat of the Smoochum with his teeth and proceeding to disembowel her.

Tarantulas turned and smiled to see another form of beauty that gave him inspiration and joy: the village that he and his expeditionary force had come to, now in flames as Nihilators ransacked the houses and had their way with the few inhabitants who weren't currently huddling in terror on their knees in a line on the ground, hyper-aggressive Shadow Pokémon looming over them and waiting for any excuse to brutally kill them. Entei, Raikou, and Suicune watched this with a bored look on their faces, seeming utterly indifferent to the horror going on around them. "Please," a Delibird sobbed, looking pleadingly up at the beasts. "You are legendary Pokémon, guardians of the land! Why are you letting this happen? You are supposed to be our protectors!"

He was cut off when the annoyed Poliwrath behind him kicked him to the ground, grabbed him by the neck, and started to crush his windpipe, until Raikou said, "Wait!" The Nihilator paused, and the villagers looked up hopefully as the thunder beast trod over, an impassive look on his face. He bent down and tore off the Delivery Pokémon 's head with his jaws, swallowing it in a single bite. "Not anymore," he belched as the townsPokémon stared at him in horror and despair.

An agonized scream rang out from a nearby building that was only slightly on fire, stretched out for several seconds, and finally, mercifully died down. A Pinsir covered from head to toe in blood stalked out, came over to Tarantulas, and saluted the cyborg Ariados. "Sir, I have managed to obtain the coordinates of the temple."

"Excellent. And it sounds like you had quite some fun doing it, didn't you?" Tarantulas said approvingly.

"I did indeed, sir. The extreme temperature up here makes these Pokémon very resilient, meaning I can draw out torture much longer than I usually could," the Pinsir said.

"Is zat so? I vill have to hold onto a few for specimens, zen. As for ze rest, kill zem and destroy everyzing zat's left of zis town. We move out in ten minutes, so no lollygagging!" Tarantulas shouted.

"Yes, sir!" the Nihilators replied before descending on the prisoners, gleefully tearing them limb from limb and staining the snow red with blood, their screams echoing throughout the mountains.

As Entei and Raikou fought over an arm, a bored Suicune waltzed over to Tarantulas. "How much longer until we get to do something interesting?" she complained.

"Not much longer now," Tarantulas told her. "Zere should be plenty of temple guardians for you to fight once ve reach our destination. And even once zey're out of ze vay, I vill need you to break ze seal on ze Pokémon locked wizin."

"I hope it's worth dragging us all the way up here…" Suicune grumbled.

"Aren't you ze Aurora Pokémon? I zought you vould like seeing your namesake," Tarantulas commented, pointing at the ribbon of light above them.

Suicune sniffed. "Please. I'm far more beautiful than that paltry light show could ever be." She yawned. "Raikou, Entei, I'm in the mood for a quick fuck. Attend me, please."

Raikou and Entei, who had been playing tug-of-war with Chobin over the severed limb, quickly let go of the body part and eagerly scampered over to Suicune like lovestruck puppies a quarter their size and age. Chobin was initially delighted to have won, until he realized _why_ he'd won. "Can Chobin come too?" he asked hopefully, spitting out the hunk of meat he'd been gripping in his jaws.

The three beasts burst into laughter. "Please, I have higher standards than that!" Suicune said. "Come on boys, let's have some fun."

"Don't take too long, ve're leaving in a few minutes!" Tarantulas shouted after them as they headed off to mate somewhere where nobody (i.e. Chobin) could spy on them.

"Don't worry, this shouldn't take long," Suicune called back.

"Yeah!" Raikou blinked. "…Wait, should we be insulted by that?"

"Eh, we're getting some, that's good enough for me," Entei said.

"True enough," Raikou admitted. The trio vanished behind a rise. Bursts of electricity, flame, and water could be seen emanating from the other side soon after, along with rather…_intimate_ noises.

Chobin and several Nihilators looked at the flashing hill longingly. "Don't vorry," Tarantulas said to his distraught assistant. "You can rape someone else later."

"Chobin can _always_ be raping and raping and raping someone later to rape," Chobin complained. "But Chobin have never raping _goddess_ before. Chobin try to, but Shadowy Oblivion cut off Little Chobin, so Chobin am having to cut Big Chobin's throat and start over in a minty fresh new body of newly fresh mintiness."

"You could rape Regice," Tarantulas suggested.

Chobin looked skeptically at the floating transport nearby on which a heavily restrained Regirock, Regice, and Registeel stood, watching helplessly as their captors massacred and destroyed the innocent village. "How? She has no rapeable vagina or rapeable butthole or other rapeable orifice rapacious Chobin could rape!...I am thinking…"

"Hmm…good point," Tarantulas admitted. "It's a pity ve need zem to free ze sealed one, or zat could make a good experiment. Oh vell. Maybe some ozzer time." He grinned and looked off into the mountains, and their hidden quarry. "And as for me…soon, I vill be at last able to create ze ULTIMATE Shadow Pokémon! Ahahahahaha…muhahahahaha! GAHAHAHA-" There was a rumbling noise. The Ariados hesitated. "Vhat vas zat?"

"AVALANCHE!" Chobin screamed, pointing up the mountainside at the tumult of white death rushing down towards them.

Tarantulas laughed embarrassedly. "Vhoops…guess this teaches me not to laugh maniacally in places like zis. EVERYONE, RUUUUUUUN!"

The Nihilators vacated the village just before the avalanche smashed down on it, destroying every trace of it and burying the entire settlement under several tons of ice and snow. Soon enough, it would be impossible to tell that it had ever been there…

Well, other than Chobin peeing 'CHOBIN WERE HERE' in the snow. What a nutjob.

…

Meanwhile, at the Convocum…

"Thank you very much for that…remarkable performance," Lilian said awkwardly as the Flygon wizard who had just shown how he'd figured out how to make his wingbeats sound like a male singing voice rather than a female, something absolutely nobody cared about, was ushered off the stage. "Well folks, we're almost done with the contest, and it doesn't look as if anyone here has come anywhere close to coming up with something to outdo Fantina's latest miracle of magic…as usual. However, if anyone has a shot at it—coming close, that is, not beating her, since in my humble and completely unbiased opinion that's impossible—it's our final competitor, Fantina's longtime nemesis and possibly the most reviled and feared sorceress in history, Bellum Yukihime!"

Bellum appeared in a whirlwind of ice and snow as Marianne materialized behind her in a flash of lightning and Brodie…walked out from backstage. The Froslass spread her arms dramatically, awaiting her applause. None came. Everyone in the audience stared at her in disgust and unease. Nobody dared boo her, though, since they remembered all too well what she'd done to the poor souls who'd made that mistake once the Convocum was over…Bellum snarled and turned away in a huff, vowing to kill them all someday.

"Why is she still on the loose?" Convoca murmured to Sukizo. "I received a number of death threats and curses from her warning me to give her a good score this year…"

"She hasn't done anything the Order considers worth imprisoning her for," Sukizo said.

Joy Prime stared at him in disbelief. "She's killed thousands of people, mutilated and cursed even more, blatantly misuses her magic to get her way, and is one of the biggest sources of spell-damaged patients my guild has to deal with. Just last month, she turned an entire city into a glacier and froze everyone in it to death because someone cut her in line! That's not worth locking her up and stripping her of her magic?"

"No, that's worth a reprimand," Sukizo said.

"…A reprimand," Joy Prime said incredulously.

"A sternly worded one," Sukizo said proudly. "She promised not to do it again." Raoul and Joy Prime facefaulted.

"So, Bellum," Lilian asked the witch from a safe distance. Even if Bellum couldn't do anything due to the truce spell, the Espeon didn't want to take her chances. "I see you have a new associate joining you along with your daughter this year. Does that mean the rumors we've been hearing about your _other_ daughter having run off with a group of adventurers are true?"

Bellum clenched her fist. "No comment. As to my new lackey, his name is Brodie. I found him in some ruins in Twilight's Edge and decided he could come in handy."

"I thought I was your apprentice," Brodie complained.

"There's a difference?" Bellum said, causing him to sulk.

"So, Bellum, what awful—I mean, _unique_ and interesting presentation do you have to show us today?" Lilian asked.

Bellum smiled coolly. "Oh, nothing much. Just the discovery of a species thought to be extinct in our universe for eons." She gestured dramatically, causing three iced-over cages to appear beside her. "Behold, the first of their kind to set foot on our planet in countless ages…stare in wonder at these, the first of a new breed of VAMPIRES!" She snapped her fingers, causing the ice to shatter and reveal her prisoners, the bound and chained vampiric Swalot, Wooper, and Electrike.

The audience gasped, and the judges murmured amongst themselves in surprise. "Oh, wow!" Lilian said. "Real vampires! They look…so much less sexy than I'd imagined…" The caged vampires sweatdropped.

"Pop culture lies written by overly romantic hacks. Get over it," Brodie snarked.

Fantina appeared on the stage in a burst of flame. "_Arretez-vous! _Bellum, I really must protest! Zis time, you 'ave gone too far!"

Bellum snarled. "Get off the stage, Fantina. You had your moment, and this is mine! Or are you afraid that I've finally come up with something good enough to beat you?"

"Ze only zing I'm afraid of is what you've done to zese poor creatures. You know as well as I do zat it is forbidden to exhibit magical creatures like zis!" Fantina pointed out.

"She's right, Bellum. If those creatures you have on display are magical, then I'm afraid we'd have to disqualify you," Sukizo said.

"I'd disqualify you anyway for treating _any_ living creature like that…if there were any rules about it, that is," Joy Prime grumbled.

Bellum smirked triumphantly. "Then it's a very good thing that these vampires are _not_ magical, then isn't it?"

Fantina frowned. "Impossible. Vampires are supernatural beings. Magic is implicit in zeir nature! 'Ow can you make such a preposterous claim?"

"Quite easily. As anyone who's studied the lore should know, vampirism is a multiversal disease whose effects and manifestations vary from world to world. Sometimes they infuse their hosts with magical powers, other times they do not. My specimens here are examples of the latter. They have a great deal of power, oh yes indeed, but all of it can be explained by…" Bellum made a face. "_Scientific_ means."

A few other people made faces at hearing that word as well. Fantina made a face too, but not from hearing 'scientific,' but because she found it very hard to believe her rival. "I find it very 'ard to believe you," she said. "Especially since I can sense quite a bit of magic radiating off of zem!"

"As can I," Convoca said after scanning the cages. "Bellum, explain yourself."

"You're detecting the residual magic from the various bonds and enchantments I was forced to use to contain them," Bellum explained. "They may not be magical, but they are still incredibly strong and _very_ dangerous. If you are still skeptical, I could turn down my spells a little so you can get a better scan…of course, there _is_ the slight chance that they'll manage to break free and slaughter a significant number of you if I weaken their restraints, but that is what you desire, I will be more than happy to comply."

The audience fidgeted nervously. "Ah, I'm sure that won't be necessary," Sukizo said quickly. "On second thought, they do look remarkably unmagical to me."

"Er, yes, yes, I suppose we can take your word for it," Convoca agreed. Joy Prime gave him an exasperated look.

So did Fantina. "And I don't suppose ze idea of removing zeir gags so we can 'ear zeir side of ze story crossed anyone's minds?" she complained.

"Oh, I wouldn't recommend that," Bellum said.

Fantina raised an eyebrow. "And why is zat? Zey can't bite us from in zere, can zey?"

"No, but like most vampires they have the ability to compel people to do their bidding just by speaking to them," Bellum said. "Therefore, it would be safest to keep their mouths shut for the time being."

"Aha!" Fantina said, pouncing on this. "Zat sounds a lot like magic to me, and a poor excuse for keeping zem from revealing your lies, because ze truce spell nullifies any mind-control spells zat are attempted while it is enforced!"

"Ah, but it's _not_ magic, my dear Fantina, as I already said," Bellum crooned smoothly. "As I told you, all of their powers have completely scientific bases in origin. Their compelling voice, for example, works by resonating on a subsonic frequency that deactivates the parts of our brains responsible for inhibition and makes the listener susceptible to any order that is given to them. And since there is no magic behind this ability, that means the truce doesn't cover it, and everyone here could fall vulnerable to it. That is why I have silenced them, so that they cannot coerce anyone." She refrained from mentioning their ability to read and control the minds of Dark-types or their 'Dark telepathy', which she was pretty sure _was_ magic, since that wouldn't help her case.

"And you will not be demonstrating zis, so we will just 'ave to take your word on zat, too, _non_?" Fantina asked skeptically.

"I'm afraid so," Bellum said, feigning remorse.

"_Je ne suis pas surpris_…" Fantina grumbled.

"Bellum, while we must admit a discovery like this is impressive…if these vampires aren't magical, and they're apparently so dangerous you needed to cage them up like this just to bring them here, exactly what use are they?" Lilian asked.

"I'm glad you asked, Vivian," Bellum said with a gracious smile.

"My name's Lilian," Lilian said.

"I don't care. They may not be magical, true, but the benefits they can give to the magical community must not be understated. Worried you're going to die of old age or some fatal disease? Drink some vampire blood, and you'll become a vampire yourself, immortal and deathless and immune to all illnesses! And if someone manages to kill you, most forms of death don't quite take, and a little blood provided by a loyal minion will have you as good as new in no time! The need for blood and weakness to sunlight and silver is a bit of a downside, true, but one that can be easily overcome with the right spells and talismans," Bellum said. "And just imagine what a magician would be capable of once he or she had become one of these high-ranking undead! We are already capable of casting spells that command the elements and warp the fabric of reality, but with vampire strength backing us, the possibilities are even greater! Enhanced speed, strength, and senses are just the tip of the iceberg as far as vampiric abilities are concerned. As I mentioned before, they can command others with their voices, so we would no longer need to cast hypnosis or mind-control spells. If you bite a victim, you can choose to drain their blood or turn them into a vampire like yourself, in the process forcing them to be your servant forever, for no vampire can turn against the one who transformed them. It seems to be some sort of self-preservation gene hardwired into the virus. Additionally, the stronger vampires are able to change form into a lupine or avian or even _mist_ at will, meaning we no longer have to rely on expensive and volatile ingredients to perform a shape-changing spell. Not only that, but some even have the ability to turn into people whose blood they've sampled, making certain…less than legal affairs infinitely easier to handle. And even if you aren't keen on becoming a vampire yourself or using some blood to turn a minion into one, the usefulness of their body parts in necromancy, thaumaturgy, alchemy, healing, and many other magical fields cannot be overstated. Some ground-up claws will cure almost any disease, ground-up fangs will make an almost incurably deadly poison, and ground-up bones can be used to raise the dead! The enzymes they secrete in their saliva can be used to create an aphrodisiac better than anything else on the market, _especially_ anything made by Fantasmagoria, and will put a little 'oomph' back in your romantic endeavors if you've been having difficulties. Skin flakes can be used to create a clean-burning and long-lasting fuel source unlike any other, so you won't have to worry about lung damage from smoke inhalation or needing to regularly clean soot off the ceiling of your lab. The list of uses a person can get out of a vampire just goes on and on! Why, I think they're nearly as useful to harvest as dragons…and they _aren't_ magical, therefore there's no law against extracting that use from them by any means necessary!"

"Amazing! Wherever did you find such remarkable creatures, Bellum?" Lilian asked.

Bellum smirked. "Ah, now if I told you that, then _everyone_ would be able to go out and get one of their own, wouldn't they? Not a very good business plan, if I say so myself."

There was quite a lot of excited murmuring from the audience as they mulled over everything Bellum had said, and the judges looked very impressed. Fantina, however, was not. "_Incroyable…_And _none_ of zis is magical?"

"Not in the slightest," Bellum said, glad that she and Tarantulas had rehearsed for something like this and made up some suitable technobabble to explain everything away. "Their enhanced strength, speed, and nigh-immortality comes from muscular enhancements created by the virus rewriting their DNA to make them strong enough hosts to allow the virus to propagate indefinitely. Their immortality and regenerative powers comes due to the presence of the virus in the bloodstream accelerating the body's natural healing factor to a ridiculous extent as part of a method of self-preservation, since if the host is destroyed, so is the virus. However, this is also why they require blood: vast amounts of the iron contained in the body is consumed in the process of maintaining this enhanced healing factor and longevity, so they must drink the iron contained in the blood of other Pokémon to survive. I've experimented with feeding them iron shavings in regular food, and it seems to work about as well. The weakness to sunlight and silver is an extreme allergic reaction caused by the transformation into a vampire; the former due to the virus being incredibly photosensitive in nature and the latter because the properties of silver make it indigestible by the viral bacterium and drives them into a cannibalistic feeding frenzy, consuming themselves as well as the host. That is why silver can potentially kill a vampire more permanently than sunlight, since sunlight will make the virus dormant and, since it is prevalent in every cubic inch of their host, cause the host's body to fail, but can be reactivated with a fresh infusion of blood and/or iron. Silver, on the other hand, kills it completely, so there is no coming back. As I said before, however, that problem can easily be circumvented using the proper spells and protective amulets. The ability to secrete the enzymes I mentioned before makes the process of feeding on prey easier because the sensation of pleasure the victim gets from being drained makes them want to feel it again, and so they will submit themselves to being bitten again and again for the experience, turning them into happy livestock, so the vampire doesn't need to work as hard to get its meal. The power to turn into mist is a natural extension of the old Acid Armor technique, and their shapeshifting ability is caused by the vampiric genetic structure being somewhat unstable, and is therefore capable of mimicking the DNA of other Pokémon that it has sampled, much like my associate here can turn into other Pokémon by eating some of their genetic material."

"Yep," Brodie said, happy to be recognized. "Just like me."

"Can't Dittos Transform without having to do something like that?" Convoca asked.

"I, uh, have a condition…" Brodie said Mareepishly.

"Oh, dear. Would you like me to have a look at it?" Joy Prime offered.

"Lots of other Joys have examined me, but they said there's nothing they can do," Brodie said sadly.

"Most of those other Joys aren't me, dear. I could give it a shot," Joy Prime said.

Brodie blinked. "Really? That'd be-" He paused when Bellum glared at him. "Er…I'll…think about it…"

"Zat all _sounds_ very good," Fantina said with a frown. "But zen how do you explain raising ze _mort_? _Zat_ sounds very magical!"

"Not at all, haven't you ever seen movies where zombies get created by a virus?" Bellum pointed out. "Well, this works on basically the same principle. The vampire virus insinuates itself into every cell of its host's body, infusing the host with its unique properties. When ground-up bone dust is sprinkled on dead bodies, the virus is transmitted to them, but since the bodies are already dead, there is less for them to work with and they can only be revived as your basic grunt-level type of undead…but it's still easier to do than most of the more traditional ways to make a zombie, am I right?" The necromancers in the audience nodded in agreement. Bellum congratulated herself on basically coming up with that explanation on the spot. She had absolutely no idea if anything she was saying was actually scientifically or biologically feasible, but since pretty much everyone in the room was a mage who knew next to nothing about how science worked, it was guaranteed to go over their heads enough for them to assume she knew what she was talking about. The only people who didn't look one hundred percent convinced were Joy Prime—who _did_ know quite a bit about biology, due to her job, but also knew enough about magical viruses to admit that there was a possibility one could exist that could do something like Bellum was describing, even if technically it _wasn't_ magical—and Fantina, but Bellum was confident that was more from (very reasonable) distrust than actual knowledge on the subject.

"Very well," Fantina said, conceding the point. "'Owever, I noticed zere were a few vampiric traits you did not mention in your list."

"That is because the virus mutates from world to world. The weaknesses and traits of one strain can be completely different on another," Bellum pointed out.

"Zen zey have no problem entering a building wizout being invited?" Fantina asked.

"I haven't actually tested for that," Bellum admitted. "What with keeping them in my lab and then bringing them to a public area. I would assume they'd probably be fine with it, but if they weren't, I'm sure it's more a psychological condition than anything else. And in any event, it's not something we can empirically test right now, is it?"

"Hmm, per'aps not," Fantina said, an odd gleam in her eye. "What of 'oly icons? Garlic? Stakes? Salt? Putting a mushroom in zeir sock and zrowing it into a river?"

"None of the above has any effect on them. I made quite sure of that," Bellum said.

"_Évidemment vous avez_…And what of mirrors?" Fantina pressed.

Bellum hesitated. "Er, what about them?"

Fantina pounced on this. _"Mais évidemment!_ Everyone knows vampires cannot see zeir reflections in ze mirror!"

"Oh, _that_," Bellum said in relief. "I tried that, they have reflections just fine." She didn't notice the looks her prisoners exchanged with each other, or the conversation they had inside their heads.

Fantina noticed it, however. A small smile formed on her face. "Oh? Do you mind if I test zat for myself, zen?"

"Go right ahead," Bellum said magnanimously. Fantina did so, concentrating and creating a large mirror from thin air behind the cages. The audience gasped. "There, you see? There's-"

"They have no reflections!" Sukizo cried.

"Wh-what?" Startled, Bellum whirled around and was horrified to see that the mirror's reflection showed three cages with shackles dangling in the air…and nothing suspended between them. "That's…but-but that can't…how did…"

"Whuh-oh," Brodie murmured.

"Bzzzzzzbzz…" Marianne buzzed, realizing something had gone terribly wrong.

Fantina threw a triumphant look at Bellum. "Not magic? _Zat_ looks razzer magical to me, would you not agree, judges?"

The judges nodded in agreement. "I can't think of any other explanation," Contesta said.

"Remarkable!" Sukizo agreed.

"Which means Bellum was lying all along! Which isn't that much of a surprise, really," Joy Prime said, rolling her eyes.

"W-wait! There's a simple explanation," Bellum stammered quickly. "They're just bending the way light refracts around them so it _looks_ like they have no reflection!"

"If zat were ze case, zen why can we still see zem?" Fantina asked. "Somezing like zat would make zem invisible, oui?"

Bellum blanched. "Ah…well…you'd _think_ so, but-"

"I think we've heard enough," Joy Prime said sternly.

"Bellum, you are disqualified for performing illegal experiments on magical creatures and trying to pass them off as nonmagical," Contesta declared. "And by the authority given to me as host of the Convocum, I hereby release them from their bondage!"

"A shame…I was looking forward to becoming a vampire…" Sukizo muttered.

"No! You can't!" Bellum cried in horror as the cages started shimmering, realizing that she was in very, _very_ big trouble. "If you free them, they'll cause untold havoc!"

"Not if zey're magical creatures zey are not, since ze Truce will effect zem too," Fantina said smugly. "Ze scenario you describe would only be possible if zey were _not_ magic…but I zink we bozz know by now zat zey are, oui?"

"Oh mon, Oblivion's Shadow's going to be sooooo pissed," Brodie moaned as the cages and shackles began to disintegrate.

"Bzzbzzbzzbzzbzz!" Marianne buzzed anxiously.

"You must not listen to them, whatever they say!" Bellum desperately appealed to the judges. "They cannot be trusted, they will say and do anything to get their way!"

"Are you sure zat's not yourself you're talking about?" Fantina taunted.

"Ahhhh! Free at last!" the Swalot declared when the last of his bonds was destroyed, and he was able to move his arms and mouth again.

"Finally! I had such a bad itch on my back," the Wooper said, sighing in relief as he rubbed up against the drooling Electrike's spiky hide. The electric dog didn't notice because he was staring at Lilian.

"…Why is he looking at me like that?" the Espeon wondered, somewhat disturbed.

"In the name of the Order of Merlin and the spirit of this great Convocum, I humbly apologize for whatever Bellum has put you through, and assure you that she will be punished for this indiscretion," Sukizo said formally, causing Bellum to roll her eyes at the thought of getting yet _another_ strongly-worded reprimand letter.

"As the first representatives of a long-dead race that we have seen in countless years, we welcome you to the Convocum Mysticus Fantastica and the worldwide magical community," Convoca said.

"We hope that whatever Bellum put you through has not disillusioned you against mages or the world in general. Most of us are nothing like her, not even the worst of us!" Joy Prime said. Most of the evil mages in the audience nodded in agreement. They were bad, yeah, but Bellum was _much _worse.

"We graciously accept your apologies and are more than happy to become a part of this global community," the Swalot rumbled, bowing at the waist.

"And we're going to need whatever help you can offer us, because we aren't the only vampires!" the Wooper said. "The rest of us are being held prisoner by Bellum's cohorts, an evil organization that's trying to take over the world!"

"All right, we'll look into it," Sukizo said with a shrug.

The vampires blinked. "That is not quite the reaction I was expecting," the Swalot said.

"Quite a lot of us have been or are currently members of a group that's trying to take over the world," Convoca said, causing a significant portion of the audience to nod and mutter in agreement. "It's sort of a hobby for people like us, who have lots of power and waaaay too much time on our hands. You know, something to do in the spare time."

"Nothing usually comes of it, though," Joy Prime said.

"But if they're holding others of your kind hostage, we'll certainly investigate them and see to their release," Sukizo said.

"You might want to see to a lot more than their release, because the group Bellum's affiliated with is trying to release the Ruler of Evil!" the Wooper said, exasperated by the seeming complacence of the authorities.

Everyone gasped in horror. "NO! They're lying! They're ly-" Bellum shrieked, until Fantina cast a mute spell on her.

"_What_ did you say she is trying to do?" the Mismagius demanded.

"Release the Ruler of Evil from its imprisonment. Her and her evil friends," the Swalot said. As Bellum frantically tried to undo the spell on her voice, her mind reeled in astonishment. How could they have possibly known about that? They'd never discussed that within earshot of the vampires, had they?

"Oh yeah, we're _really_ screwed," Brodie moaned.

Sukizo frowned. "That's a serious accusation. Do you have evidence to back this claim?"

"Quite a lot of it. We'll tell you everything we know about Bellum's plans and her Nihilator allies…which is a great deal, let me tell you!" the Swalot bragged.

The Wooper nodded as the horrified Bellum's eyes bulged from their sockets. "We learned a _lot_ while she and that crazy-ass Doctor Tarantulas were doing stuff to us…much more than they probably thought we were, and we'd be happy to blow the lid on all the shit they've been up to!"

"Very well. I'm afraid that due to the sacred magic of the truce spell, we cannot arrest Bellum or hold any form of trial against her at this moment," Sukizo said. "After the Convocum is over, however, the Order of Merlin will hold a hearing at our headquarters in Fichina to look into this matter. Are you willing to testify as to the misdeeds of Bellum and these 'Nihilators' when we convene again in a few days?"

"I think we could do that," the Swalot said.

"So long as someone makes sure Psycho Bitch here or any of her pals doesn't try to kill us between now and then," the Wooper said, eyeing Bellum in concern.

"We'll take you into protective custody to make sure that doesn't happen," Sukizo said.

"Like you protected ze _last_ bunch willing to testify against Bellum? _Je ne pense pas ainsi!_" Fantina argued. "_I_ will take care of zem. I am 'ead of ze Committee for ze Protection of Magical Creatures, and 'ave more experience wiz Bellum's machinations zan anyone else on ze planet. Zere is nobody more qualified to protect zem zan I."

"Very well. We shall leave them in your care, Fantina," Sukizo said. Bellum tried to scream, but since she still had no voice, she could not. Marianne and Brodie edged away from her, knowing the explosion when she finally recovered was not going to be pretty.

"Thank you for your generosity, madam. I am more than happy to leave my life in your capable…er…ectoplasm," the Swalot said graciously.

Fantina giggled and bowed. "Ze 'onor is all mine, monsieur! I 'ave wanted to meet one such as yourself for centuries! We 'ave much to talk about."

The Swalot chuckled. "Indeed we do." The Wooper gave him a weird look. The Electrike drooled at the disturbed Lilian.

"Oh yes, and since Bellum's been disqualified, she was the last competitor, and nobody else came anywhere _near_ her…I suppose this means Fantina wins the Rod of Merlin for the fifth time in a row," Convoca said.

"Congratulations, Fantina!" Joy Prime said, clapping. The rest of the audience started applauding as well.

Fantina blinked at her well-wishers in surprise. "_Que?_ Ze Rod? Oh! I 'ad forgotten all about it! Well, if you insist, zen I suppose I will accept it. It will look good on ze mantelpiece wiz all ze ozzers, oui?"

That was the last straw. Bellum, face red with rage, managed to break the mute spell through sheer anger and hatred. "NO! AGAIN YOU WIN? _AGAIN_ YOU OUTMANEUVER ME? _AGAIN_ YOU WIN EVERYONE'S ADORATION?"

"You could 'ave won it too, Bellum…if you 'adn't turned on your country and family and gone to ze dark side, you could 'ave earned ze Rod ages ago!" Fantina said. "You are a brilliant witch, and zere is _so_ much you could 'ave done wiz your talents if you 'adn't squandered zem for your own selfish purposes! In fact…" The Mismagius smirked. "I'm not sure I ever would 'ave gotten into ze position I am now 'ad you not abdicated it. Funny 'ow zat works, non? In becoming evil, you made in me your own worst enemy. I guess zat proofs how in ze end, evil will always destroy itself…" The other villains in the crowd exchanged nervous looks and hoped she wasn't right.

"Destroy myself? Perhaps I _have_ been doing a bit too much of that lately, Fantina, but no more! I have let you walk all over me and take everything that was rightfully mine for too long…and that ends now! Go ahead, do your best to protect those precious vampires…but it won't be enough, because I intend to destroy you, them, and anyone else who gets in my way before you ever make it back to Fichina! The next time we meet will be the _last_ time!" With a shriek of fury, she exploded in a flurry of ice shards and disappeared. Following her cue, Marianne vanished in a burst of lightning, and Brodie…

Looked around awkwardly, realizing he had been left behind. "Oh great, there goes my ride home. Uh…I'll just be going then…" As everyone stared at him, he slowly shuffled offstage. He popped back in for a moment to say, "Oh yeah, and we're gonna destroy you, and stuff," before vanishing again.

"Well, _that_ was certainly an interesting conclusion to this year's competition," Lilian commented. "Fantina, are you worried at all about Bellum's latest vow of revenge?"

"Even zhough it is 'er seven zhousand zree 'undred and fifty sevenz, I intend to treat it as seriously as I would any ozzer," Fantina said gravely. "I do not care what forces she brings to bear against me. I will make sure my new charges make it to ze 'earing, and zat Bellum faces justice once and for all!"

"We have every confidence in you, Fantina. I believe that if anyone can protect us, it's you," the Swalot said.

"Doesn't anyone trust the Order of Merlin anymore?" Sukizo grumbled.

"Since the harshest punishments you guys ever issue anymore is stern reprimands and cease and desist letters, not really, no," Joy Prime said, causing him to grunt.

"Well, I look forward to seeing Bellum pay for her crimes to society as much as anyone else here does," Lilian said. She paused, noticing that the Electrike was a little too close to her. "And I'd also look forward to someone getting rid of this guy; I have enough creepy fanboy stalkers as is…"

"He wants to bite you," the Wooper said.

"Or mate with you," the Swalot said.

"…Should I be flattered or disturbed?" Lilian asked.

"If he bites you, you'll die," the Swalot said. "Fortunately, the truce will keep that from happening, right?"

"Maybe so, but I'd rather you keep him as far from me as possible!" Lilian snapped.

As the Wooper sighed and tried to convince the brainless vampire mutt to leave the Espeon alone, the Swalot asked, "So, Miss Fantina, how will we be getting to Fichina?"

Fantina considered this for a moment. "Hmm…I suppose we could warp, but…you know, I'm feeling razzer partial to trains zis time of year…"

…

Meanwhile, on Deoxys's ship…

The door to Misty's quarters unfolded and a floating ball of light made up of mathematical symbols drifted in. The ball pulsed and transformed into the humanoid figure of Algebrea, the Algorithmic datafairy. "Hey Misty. What are you up to?"

Misty, who was currently focused on several dozen holographic screens with blueprints and streams of data flowing across them faster than any average mortal could possibly process, said, "Trying to find a way to boost our engine output so we'll arrive in my universe before it's too late to save everyone."

"Wow," Algebrea said as she looked at the formulae Misty was examining over her shoulder. "That's some pretty high-end stuff. Would you like me to help? I'm pretty good at math myself…you know, what with being _made_ of it and all."

"Thanks, but not thanks, I have everything under control," Misty murmured, her eyes flickering between the screens so fast it would have made most people dizzy.

"Another benefit of your information-saturated being?" Algebrea guessed.

Misty nodded without looking away from the screens. "I seem to be able to absorb and process information much faster than ever before. I'm a little surprised I'm even able to retain anymore, considering how every molecule of my body is already encoded with yobibytes of data from all over the Omniverse."

"I suppose there's always room for more," Algebrea said.

"So, is there any particular reason you came by?" Misty asked.

"Yes, we're going to be passing through a very rare cosmic phenomenon shortly: two sentient universes that have been courting for eons are finally about to mate, a spectacular process that will birth a whole new universe made from the best of both its parents. Would you like to come watch it with me?" Algebrea asked.

"No thank you. I can observe it quite well from in here," Misty said, pulling up another half-dozen or so screens showing the view outside their ship as it traveled through the seemingly infinite space between universes.

"Oh…all right then," Algebrea said in disappointment. "It's just that you've been cooped up in here for ages. You haven't left your room in at least a week. Wouldn't you like to take a break and maybe see some of the sights around the ship? Even with all the knowledge you've absorbed, we're sure to find _something_ you've never seen before."

"While I appreciate your concern—in spite of it being an insultingly transparent attempt from your master to try and make me trust it—I have no time to socialize. How can I possibly relax knowing that every second we take too long is a second in which my friends, my home, my family, my…Ash…could be destroyed?" Misty asked.

"Misty, we'll get there when we get there," Algebrea said. "Worrying about it won't make any difference. All you can do is wait and trust in Deoxys to save the day."

Misty snorted. "Yeah, that's not gonna happen."

Algebrea sighed. "Misty, I really wish you'd at least give him a chance. I know you've had problems with hive minds in the past, but-"

"Problems?" Misty snapped, finally whirling from the screens to glare at the datafairy. "I wouldn't call what happened to me a 'problem.' When I was just a little Eevee, my parents were murdered by a Bug raiding party while we were on a picnic, and my sisters ran off like the cowards they are, leaving me behind. For whatever reason, rather than killing me, they decided I was young and fit enough to be of use to their disgusting bloated Queen, so they dragged me back to the Amber Palace and pumped me so full of brainwashing drugs and pheromones I became convinced I _was_ a Bug, who existed for no other purpose but to serve the Queen. I spent _years_ as a mindless drone, happily slaving away by digging tunnels, feeding newly hatched grubs, wallowing in filth with my body tightly pressed against the slimy carapaces of my coworkers, devouring injured and weak workers when…when they became too old or damaged to keep going…" She shuddered at the memory. "And all the time, her…her _voice_ was in my head, commanding me, crushing every thought I had, making me into nothing but an extension of her will, with no 'self' of my own. It was only by pure dumb luck that Team ACT found me while on a raid and took me back to Pokémon Square, where I had to endure almost a _year_ of intensive deprogramming before I had anything resembling sanity again. And even now, there are still times when I long for the Queen's presence in my head, for her to tell me what to do so I don't have to go through the pain of thinking for myself or dealing with other people or…or feeling all these raging _emotions_ for my stupid sisters, for my children, and…and for Ash…because sometimes it feels like they're going to overwhelm me, and even though I know it was horrible as a drone, there's a part of me that wishes I could go back to the simplicity of those days…so my heart won't hurt so much."

"…Misty…" Alebrea whispered.

"Since then, I haven't been able to look at a Bug without feeling like throwing up, or be around too many people standing close to me without feeling like I'm going to scream," Misty continued angrily. "And I will absolutely never, _ever_ trust anything with a hive mind, even if it says it doesn't want me to be a part of it, because I don't want anyone else to be inside my head again but me. I can't…I can't lose my individuality again. I don't think I could come back if I did."

"Misty, I know all this. I saw it in your memories," Algebrea said.

"And that's supposed to help me endear to you or your master?" Misty snapped.

"You have every reason to hate hive minds. But Deoxys isn't like that! He helps people, just like he helped my people. He gives us the ability to travel the stars and see wonders we would never have had the chance to otherwise. And, even if we _are_ all connected to him and to each other, our thoughts are our own. He observes, and issues orders, but he never takes control of us without our permission," Algebrea said.

"How can you know?" Misty asked. "How can you know your thoughts are your own? How can you know what you think isn't just him _telling_ you what you think? How can you know you're really _you_, and not just an extension of him, like how he created those four split personalities of his to better communicate with people like me?"

"Because," Algebrea said firmly. "I _know._"

Misty shook her head in frustration. "I wish I could be so certain sometimes. And in any event, that's not the only reason I don't trust Deoxys. I don't think I ever will, especially with what I know of his past."

"Ah," Algebrea said. "So you've discovered his origins? How he used to be a cosmic pathogen that mindlessly traveled from world to world, killing every living thing in his path until a stray laser beam energized his core and caused him to evolve to the point where he gained sentience and a conscience and a realization of the difference between right and wrong? On the day that happened, Misty, he swore he'd never do anything like that again, and has spent the rest of his life since then dedicating himself to helping others. He's averted countless wars, saved billions of worlds, and kept billions more species from going extinct. The good he has done outweighed the sins of his past millions of years ago. He's not like that anymore."

"I'm sure," Misty said skeptically. "And that's not the past I was talking about."

Algebrea frowned. "What do you mean? What other past could he have?"

"You know that there were realities before this one, right?" Misty asked.

Algebrea nodded. "Yes, and they were all unstable and eventually collapsed on each other, driven by endless cycles of tormented souls clashing against each other until they were all unified to create Arceus, who made the much better Omniverse we live in now."

"All souls are eternal, because we are all fragments of the Original One, who existed before reality itself," Misty said. "As such, we have been reincarnated trillions of times throughout the numerous reiterations of reality, being born in new forms, dying, and being born again. Most people don't remember what happened in their past lives, and those that do usually can't remember further back than the birth of the Omniverse. I, however, can."

Algebrea's eyes widened in amazement. "You…you have found a way to peer into your soul so deep you can see past the beginning of the Omniverse? That's…that's incredible! We've been trying to figure out how to do that for ages! How did you-"

"I figured out how to do it while working on ways to access the knowledge stored in my molecules," Misty said. "It works on a similar principle; really, I just have to dig a little…_deeper_, is all. And in doing so, I remembered what I did in the life before this one, and the one before that, and before that. And I remembered my life in the universe before this one existed…and the part Deoxys had in nearly destroying it."

Algebrea startled. "Wh-what?"

"You said the universe then was driven by an endless cycle of warring souls. There were two factions, a pair of giant beasts made up of souls that fought each other constantly beyond time and space, their struggle defining life in the universe as we knew it," Misty said. "One beast was good, and the other evil. They had fought each other through countless iterations of reality, and were growing tired. Each wanted to consume the other and become the Original One again to create a new world, but neither was willing to surrender and allow the other to define what that world would be like. So they sent two avatars, representations of their core consciousnesses, into reality to wage a battle that would decide the fate of all. One of the avatars was the Mother, a being of such kindness and purity it's no wonder she was later reincarnated into the Mew we all know and love." Misty narrowed her eyes. "And the other, the bane of all life everywhere, the monster who almost succeeded in destroying all worlds…was Deoxys."

Algebrea gasped. "Wh-what? Deoxys was-"

Misty nodded. "The emissary of the evil beast, a being of such power and wickedness just looking at him made you want to kill yourself out of fear. He was possibly the evilest being I've ever met, in that life or any other. He tortured, raped, and killed my friends, mutilated millions of people and warped them into horrible monsters, devoured the souls of countless innocents and would have been happy to sentence them to eternal damnation in the bowels of the beast he sprang from, and if we hadn't beaten him in the final battle, he would have become an entity so powerful he would have devoured all of time and space in a heartbeat, leaving nothing save the two beasts behind."

"No…that…that cannot be…it must have been someone else, Deoxys would never-" Algebrea protested in disbelief.

"No, Algebrea. It was the same Deoxys you revere so much, the same Deoxys you serve. It was that Deoxys I battled in a past life, along with my friends and the Mother. We only barely managed to defeat him, despite countless sacrifices, and managed to earn ourselves a happy ending once everything was said and done," Misty said. "And that same Deoxys I battled has been reincarnated as the entity you believe to be a hero. So you can understand why I have some trouble trusting him, don't you?"

"But…but…he's changed!" Algebrea protested. "And…and he didn't know _any_ of this. Your telling me, and by proxy him, all this is the first he's ever heard of it! Even if he was evil back then, even if he was the Ruler of Evil himself, he has no memory of it now! He's not _like_ that anymore!"

"Is he?" Misty asked. "Sure, he doesn't go around killing and torturing anymore—aside from that brief stint before he gained sentience—but his basic goal doesn't seem that different. He, and the evil beast he embodied, grew stronger by assimilating souls into themselves. And doesn't your Deoxys become smarter and stronger by adding more people to his hive mind?"

"No! That's…it's nothing like that!" Algebrea said in horror.

"Are you sure? How do you know his intentions are as altruistic as you say? How do you know his do-gooder acts aren't just a mask to hide a desire to become stronger?" Misty asked. "Even if he does good in the process, does it matter if selfishness and a thirst for power is at the core of it all?"

"You're…you're wrong," Algebrea said weakly. "He isn't like that. He's not. He…"

Misty shrugged. "Maybe he's not. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm just being unduly paranoid. But I think, considering the memories I have of him, I can be justified in not being so quick to trust him…and, by extension, you, Algebrea. No matter how much you say you're your own person…at the end of the day, you're still his puppet."

"…I need to think about this," Algebrea murmured finally. "We all do."

"You do that," Misty said, turning back to the screens. "And if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to finding a way to save my world."

Troubled, the datafairy left the room without a word. Misty sighed after she had gone. She felt a little bad about treating Algebrea like that. The math-based lifeform had only been trying to help her, or believed she had. But while Misty appreciated the attempt to reach out to her, she wasn't sure she could accept it, not without worrying that there might be a dagger hidden behind those warm smiles and outstretched hands. _Is it fair of me to treat them with such suspicion? _Misty wondered. _In all likelihood, Deoxys probably _doesn't_ remember any of the awful things he did. Or maybe he does on some level, which is why he's trying so hard to be good now, to make up for all the evil he's done in the past? If that's the case, is how I'm acting towards him petty and unfair? A person can't really be held accountable for what they did in a past life, especially if they can't remember it…can they? Then again, maybe they can. Even if it's a reincarnation, it's still the same person, deep down. That's karma for you._

_And speaking of reincarnation_…_Ash. I know now what we really mean to each other. I've seen you inside of me, in the depths of my soul. Wherever I was born, so were you. Wherever you were, so was I. One way or another, in this world and every other, we can't seem to exist without each other. I guess that makes us literal 'soulmates,' huh?_ She smiled faintly. _Which is why I have to get back to you as soon as possible…so I can tell you that I understand now, and I know how we feel about each other, even if neither of us has been able to admit it before now. I need to tell you how much I love you…_

_And how I forgive you for causing my death…_

…

And we're done. A satisfying conclusion to an amazing arc, wouldn't you say?

And it's equally amazing this chapter's so _short_, considering some of the monsters we've had before, right? Hopefully the next arc will be just as exciting, but won't take quite as long to slog through. I've enjoyed writing this sequence as much as I'm sure you have reading it, but I'm itching to get to the main event, which is still quite a long ways off! And if you think everything you've seen so far was awesome…I promise what I have planned for the distant future will blow it all away.

In any event…next time we begin the next arc, the train ride to Fichina! And that's not _all_ that's happening then, either. I think I may even hear some wedding bells ringing…but whose? Well, that's going to have to be a surprise, isn't it?

Until then…see you next chapter, which will also be my fiftieth! Sweet, right? How many of you thought I'd make it this far? I don't think this story'll get to be a hundred, but we've still got a while before it's done, and I'm going to enjoy it every step of the way. I hope that you do, too.


	50. All aboard for adventure!

And we're here at last. My fiftieth chapter. Unfortunately, I don't have anything special planned for this chapter save for it being the start of a new arc, so I suppose that will have to be the best way to celebrate this momentous occasion.

I always knew I'd reach here eventually, but I didn't think it would take so long! I figured the arcs would be shorter than this, or that the chapters would be, anyway, but the last one just went on and on and on. Not that that's a bad thing, but still.

Anyway, this arc will hopefully be shorter but no less sweeter, with lots of cool and exciting things happening to all our favorite characters, plus a few new ones. I'm sure you'll enjoy reading it as much as I'm enjoying writing it.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me. I'd list all the stuff I've appropriated/ripped off, but that would take forever and isn't really worth the effort. Don't you agree?

…

"Well," Professor Oak said. "I have good news and bad news."

"Don't we always?" Tracey lamented.

"Which would you like to hear first?" the Slowking asked.

Ash glanced at his friends around the table: at Pikachu, who was fidgeting uncomfortably due to how close Dawn was standing to him and how…_intimately_ she was staring at him; Tiny, who was hovering in place due to his recent evolution to a Pupitar and looking rather dapper thanks to the monocle Leo had given him and the stylish top hat he'd found in Barbedo's treasure hoard which he refused to take off because they made him feel distinguished; Leo, who was staring blankly into space with his sunglasses on, as he had been wont to ever since unlocking its latest power by confessing his feelings for Lily, the ability to surf the Internet and watch television using his mind; Lily, who was looking at Leo in frustration because he was spending more time with his sunglasses these days than with her; Sasha, who…had nothing new worth mentioning; Briney, looking even more fearsome than ever in his new pirate hat; and oddly enough, Barbedo, who insisted on sitting in on meetings like this since he was the vice-captain of the pirates now. (He'd claimed the title after waking up from his hangover and discovering he'd lost to Tiny. He'd handled it with surprising good humor, saying that if he'd been outdrunk by a child not even a month old, he probably didn't deserve to be captain anymore anyway.) "I guess we might as well hear the bad news first, so we can get it out of the way."

"Might as well," Pikachu agreed.

"Leo!" Lily hissed, nudging her boyfriend.

"Huh? Oh, right, whatever they said," Leo said, quickly putting his sunglasses away.

"Let's get it over with," Briney said. "Since I already know it's pretty bad, so the sooner we hear it, the better."

"Could you stop reading our minds?" Tracey asked in annoyance.

"No," Briney said.

"Yarr, tell us already, so we can get on to the fun stuff!" Barbedo said, pounding on the table and nearly breaking it.

It was a day or two after Team Aurabolt's return from Zero Isle. After Briney had secured his place as captain of the renamed _Peeko XII_, they'd set a course for Treasure Town, leaving a reluctant Polly behind to guard the treasure, since it would be rather awkward to have a giant undead Crawdaunt loitering about the Treasure Town harbor, an oddity even for a place like that. (That and Barbedo was worried the high toxicity of the water there would do something awful to the poor lobster's exoskeleton. It was surprisingly sensitive.) They'd activated the _Peeko's_ warp drive and teleported directly to town, crossing a distance that would have taken them several days the old-fashioned way in mere seconds and causing Leo to intensely geek out. They'd reappeared underwater, so as not to alert any Nihilators in town to their presence, and docked in the grotto connected to the Sharpedo Cape library. Unsurprisingly, the pirates were familiar with these caverns, having used them as a hideout back in their prime, and were somewhat miffed that it was now full of books and other boring junk. For their part, Oak and Tracey had taken the appearance of the shambling undead surprisingly well. On the one hand, they were fascinated by the impossibility of such creatures and the fact that they had a (un)living example of pre-cataclysm history to talk to and learn more about, and on the other they were rather anxious by how the pirates kept trampling loudly all over the place, bristling with weapons, knocking things over, and making a mess of their nice library. Briney telling them to cut it out didn't make much of a difference, they were pirates after all, and 'neat and quiet' wasn't really something they were good at.

After learning the next Star Badge was in Fichina, Oak and Tracey had immediately set out to dig up as much information as they could (Leo had intended to help, but got too distracted by the marvel of directing his MMORPG PCs with his thoughts and lost track of time), and were now going to present their findings…along with something else. "The bad news it is, then," Oak said with a sigh. "We've translated more of the scriptures from the ruins under Treasure Town, and we think we've figured out what the Nihilators' plans are. It's even worse than we thought."

Pikachu groaned. "Of course it is…"

"I thought we already knew what their plans were," Tiny said.

"To release the Ruler of Evil," Sasha agreed.

"Aye, fer some daft reason," Barbedo added.

"Yes, but the Ruler of Evil is only _part_ of it," Oak said. "You remember the Gaiavore, that universe-eating superweapon that went missing after the Ruler of Evil's defeat?"

"Yeah. What about it?" Ash asked.

"We know where it is, and, by extension, so do the Nihilators," Oak said.

There was a horrified silence. _Ah,_ Dawn said, tearing her eyes with some effort away from Pikachu. _That _is _bad news._

"Where is it?" Ash demanded.

"Right here in this solar system," Tracey said. "Jupiter, to be precise."

"Jupiter?" Leo gasped. "What's it doing _there?_"

"What's a Jupiter?" Tiny asked.

"It's the fifth planet out from the Sun, and the largest of them all," Briney said.

"Oh. Okay." Tiny blinked. "What are the others?"

"That's something we can talk about later. As for what the Gaiavore is doing on Jupiter…" Tracey started.

"It's like this," Oak said. "As you'll recall, the aliens who found the door millions of years ago built a city around it and installed a number of systems to reinforce its seal and keep the evil force leaking from the crack in it from growing. In spite of their efforts, however…somehow, the Gaiavore, which had been spending the millennia since the end of the Crisis Wars roaming the cosmos, sensed its master's energy signature and came to Earth in search of the Ruler of Evil. You can imagine how alarmed the aliens were to wake up one morning and find there was a huge planetoid of pure evil and destruction looming over them in geosynchronous orbit!"

"Geo-what now?" Barbedo asked, scratching his bald skull, which looked rather small without his old hat on it.

"It stayed directly over the city rather than spinning around the world like the Moon does," Leo explained.

"Oh," the former pirate king said.

"That _does_ sound frightening," Lily agreed.

"It must have seemed like the end of the world to them," Sasha mused.

"It did, at first, but after their initial panic, they noticed the Gaiavore wasn't _doing_ anything, it was just…floating there," Tracey said.

Oak chuckled. "You see, it had been programmed to find its master if they should ever be separated…but even though it had found its master, it couldn't _do_ anything about it. The Ruler of Evil was the only being who could control the Gaiavore and unleash its power. The damage it took during the Crisis Wars forced it to revert to a more passive mode to heal itself, but even though it had managed to mend its wounds long ago, it was unable to reactivate itself and devour worlds again without the Ruler of Evil's authorization. So it went looking for its master, and it found it here on Earth, but since the Ruler was on the other side of the sealed portal to the Abyss and couldn't issue any commands…"

"It was completely harmless? Wow. That must have been a relief," Pikachu said.

"It certainly was," Oak agreed.

"However, they grew worried that the Ruler might find a way to somehow exploit the crack in the door and manage to send the activation command to the Gaiavore anyway, so they decided to take measures to make sure that wouldn't happen," Tracey said. "They towed it to Jupiter and threw it in, hoping that the gas giant's intense storms and gravitational pressure would, if not destroy it, at least keep it at bay for a while."

"Why didn't they just throw it into the Sun, then?" Ash asked.

"They were afraid it would cause the Sun to either explode, destroying the entire solar system, or implode, also destroying the entire solar system," Oak said.

"Ah," said Ash.

"Seems like a reasonable fear to me," Briney said.

"So it's been inside of Jupiter all this time? Right inside our own solar system? Geez…" whispered a shocked Leo. "It's been so _close_…just a few hundred million kilometers away…and we never knew…damn, I'm never going to look at the stars again without feeling a sense of dread and paranoia. More than I did already, I mean, worrying that a race of hostile aliens would try and invade us some day." The others sweatdropped.

"We have existed for so long without even knowing that not one, but _two_ of the greatest destructive forces in the Omniverse were literally in our own territory," Sasha murmured in agreement. "How chilling. If either of them had managed to stir themselves, to break free from their prisons…"

"But that didn't happen," Tiny said. "And it won't now…right?"

"We'll do our best to make sure it didn't," Ash promised.

"Because if it did…it would be the end. For all of us," Lily said morbidly.

"To make sure it couldn't leave the gas planet's atmosphere, the aliens erected a locking mechanism similar to the one keeping the door sealed on Jupiter's moons, using the Star Badges as keys to bind the Gaiavore in place so it could never escape," Oak continued.

"Unless someone was able to gather all seven, somehow get them to those moons, and deactivate the seal…" Briney murmured.

"Someone like the Nihilators," Pikachu agreed. "But Jupiter's very far away, like Leo said! How would they even get there?"

"If there's a way, Oblivion's Shadow will find it…" Ash growled.

"But that Shadow guy can't do that without all seven stars…and ye already have two, right?" Barbedo recalled. "So…there's nothing to worry about, is there?"

"Perhaps, but…remember that the seal on the door is weakening, and the Nihilators are already looking for a way to break it even without all the Star Badges," Lily pointed out. "If they were able to do that, then they might be able to do the same for the Gaiavore…and if they freed both the Ruler of Evil and _that_ horror…"

_There would be no stopping them,_ Dawn said. _They would devour the Earth, the galaxy, the _universe…_and beyond…_

"Unless we used the Star Badges to seal them back up again before they can do any of that," Leo said. "Which is why we need to keep going as we are now, collecting the remaining badges so the Nihilators can't get their grubby claws on them."

Oak nodded. "That sounds about right, yes."

"So, basically, nothing's changed," Pikachu reflected. "I mean, yes, the stakes are a bit higher and the pressure on us is…_significantly_ greater, now that we know we're trying to stop the revival of not one but _two_ of the deadliest evils that have ever existed, but overall there's nothing more we can do to prevent something like that from happening other than what we're already doing, right?"

"Nothing more that we can think of, anyway," Tracey said.

"Speaking of which…" Oak smiled. "There's the good news. We know where the next Star Badge is!"

"I thought we already knew it was in Fichina…where the lads and I can't go," Barbedo pointed out regretfully.

"Yes, but now we know _where_ in Fichina it is, who has it, and how to get it," Tracey said.

"That's great!" Pikachu said.

"So who's got it, and what do we have to do to convince them that we need it more than they do?" Leo asked.

"Well, as you can imagine, Fichina is full of mystical star-shaped jewels, being a land of magic and fantasy made real," Oak said. "However, after examining the Star Badges you've already collected and comparing them to the images and histories of many of those jewels, I believe we've deduced which of them is the one we're looking for: the Garnet of Animation, a jewel that is said to have the ability to grant life to the lifeless. Not just homunculi or golems, but inanimate objects too, and even dead bodies!"

"Which fits with the theme we've seen so far of the other Star Badges having some kind of power relating to life," Ash realized.

"Like how the Ruby Star allowed Brodie to steal Ash's, and the Sapphire one kept Barbedo and his crew from dying on the hangmon's platform," Briney said.

"And a good thing too, because where'd ye lads be without us?" Barbedo chortled.

"So who has the Garnet?" Pikachu asked.

"And how hard are we going to have to work to make them give it up? Because it sounds like something like that must be a _very_ valuable commodity to whatever magician possesses it," Leo said.

Lily nodded in agreement. "If Mother had something like that, she'd _never_ let it go, even if it weren't a Star Badge!"

"Then it's a good thing the possessor of the Garnet isn't your mother. In fact, she's about as far from your mother as you can get!" Tracey said.

"And that's because it's owned by none other than Fantina Fantasma, the world-famous sorceress and supermodel who has opposed Bellum for centuries, thwarting her schemes to cause mayhem and havoc whenever possible!" Oak said excitedly.

That raised the hopes of everyone except, oddly enough, Lily. "Now that _does_ sound like good news," Pikachu said.

_And since we are enemies of Bellum too, she may be willing to help us against our common foe?_ Dawn guessed.

"I dunno…mages can be stingy by nature…" Barbedo said skeptically.

"That's because most of the mages you've met you've tried to rob and/or kill and/or ravish," Briney said.

"Aye, there is that," Barbedo admitted.

"Well, Fantina is far from stingy. Among other things, she's a renowned philanthropist who's used her vast fortune and magical abilities to try and better the lives of magical and nonmagical Pokémon alike," Oak said.

"If you told her why you needed it, I'm sure she'd be happy to let you have it, even if it _weren't_ because her oldest enemy was involved," Tracey said.

"That's great!" Tiny said.

"Would she give it to us when she finds out that her oldest enemy's _daughter_ is part of the group asking?" Lily asked unhappily.

There was an awkward pause. "Oh. Uh…I hadn't considered that," Oak said.

"I'm…sure she'd be able to look past that," Tracey said uncertainly. "I mean…you're not your mother, Lily!"

"Even if I'm not…I've still done a lot of bad things in my time. What if Fantina decides I'm too much like my mother, and refuses to help us?" Lily asked.

Barbedo snorted. "Evil? You? Please, you're too _nice_ to be really bad."

"Totally!" Leo agreed. "Babe, as I've told you a thousand times, nobody could look at you and possibly think you were evil."

"Leo, that's not exactly a good thing. _Lots_ of evil people don't look evil at first glance," Pikachu pointed out.

"Er…yes…well…the point is Lily's _not_ evil, as it should be obvious for anyone to see, even people who've never met her before," Leo said stubbornly. "And if Fantina's such hot stuff, she should be able to see that too!"

Lily managed a smile. "Thank you, Leo. I hope you are right."

"So, how do we meet this broad?" Briney asked. "I can't imagine it'd be easy to get an appointment with her, what with her being such a bigshot witch and celebrity and all."

"Then it's a good thing she's not at her estate in Fichina right now," Oak said. "You see, we have more good news. Have you heard of the Convocum Mysticus Fantastica?"

"Yeah, it's some really cool convention for magicians that only rolls around once a century, right?" Leo asked.

"Everyone is invited, even evil witches like my mother," Lily said. She pouted. "But she never let me go…she always took Marianne with her and left me with an impossible chore to keep me busy while she was gone, and when she got back she'd be in a foul mood because Fantina had upstaged her somehow and take it out on me even if I'd managed to do the task _perfectly_ and…but anyway, that's irrelevant. What of it?"

"What of it indeed! You see, at every Convocum, the greatest mages in the world have a competition where they present their latest and most spectacular discoveries," Oak said.

Tracey nodded. "Fantina's won every competition for the last four hundred years, including the latest one, which is no doubt why Bellum was always so furious whenever she got back from a Convocum, since she and Fantina are rivals and all."

"She lost the recent one too? I'm glad I wasn't around for that, then…" Lily murmured.

"Well, I'm glad there's someone out there who's trouncing her other than us," Ash said. "But what does this have to do with us meeting her and getting the Star Badge?"

"We're getting there, be patient," Tracey said.

"I could just tell them all now, you know," Briney said.

"Don't, please, at least give us the illusion of being important," Oak said wearily.

Briney grunted. "Oh, fine…"

"Anyway, Fantina's presentation was apparently one of the best that's ever been done at any Convocum, as well as topping everything she's done in the past," Oak continued. "She's mastered the ability to use willpower to create objects from thin air!"

"Oh, cool! I've always wanted to be able to do that!" Leo said. The others exchanged worried looks, the possibilities of what Leo could do with that power scaring them.

Lily gasped. "She figured out the secret of matter materialization? Mother gave up on that decades ago! If she was able to discover such a power, Fantina truly _is_ the world's greatest enchantress!" She sighed. "Certainly greater than I will ever be…"

"Awww, c'mon Lily, you'll be great someday!" Tiny said.

"Yes, but not now…" the Misdreaus said.

"What's the big deal?" asked a confused Ash. "Don't magicians make stuff appear from thin air all the time?"

"Not precisely," Briney said. "Most of the time when they do something like that, they're either conjuring a pre-existing object from some other location or removing it from a magical pocket dimension where they store their excess things. What Fantina has discovered is the ability to literally _create_ objects out of nothing."

"Well, not nothing precisely, only the gods can do that. And reality warpers," Leo said. "What she's doing is exerting her will to force stray molecules to fuse together and become whatever she imagines. Am I right?"

Lily nodded. "Yes, that is how such an ability has always been theorized…and to think she's actually figured out how to make it a reality! Incredible!"

"Yarr, with an ability like that, I'd be the richest man in the world!" Barbedo said with a grin, eyes gleaming greedily.

"Wouldn't that much gold appearing from nowhere ruin the economy and make it worthless?" Briney asked.

"…D'arrgh. Good point," Barbedo said reluctantly.

"Well, you can tell her how impressed you are when we meet her, Lily," Pikachu said. "Speaking of which, you were getting to the part about _how_ we meet her?"

"Right, sorry. Anyway, while her discovery was impressive, Bellum's quite nearly defeated her: she managed to present three live—well, undead—vampires, beings not seen in this world for centuries!" Oak said.

"Not true, we met one just a few weeks ago," Sasha said.

"Yeah, he had an army of zombies and stuff," Tiny said.

Barbedo snorted. "P'sh, not nearly as impressive as skeleton pirates."

"Yeah, totally," Leo agreed.

"Well, apparently the magical community—and Bellum—were unaware of that one," Tracey said. "Or the skeleton pirates."

"And I'd like to keep it that way for the time being," Barbedo murmured, remembering how unfriendly his last reception in Fichina had been.

"Their unawareness of that last guy is probably a good thing, considering how…fruity he was," Pikachu murmured.

"What does fruity mean?" Tiny asked.

"It's, uh…what that vampire was," Ash said.

"…I don't get it," Tiny said.

_Ash will explain later,_ Dawn said.

"I will? But I'm not really sure what 'fruity' means either," Ash said.

There was an awkward pause. "Well…ANYWAY," Leo said. "Vampires, huh? Neat. Wonder where she found them. Think they came from another world like Jurgen?"

"Nope, they're local," Oak said. "But that's getting ahead of things…"

Lily frowned. "Vampires? But that can't be right…vampires are magical creatures, and it is forbidden to do experimentations on them. Well, Mother does those anyway, but she never makes it _public_. Well, I mean, everyone _knows_ she does them, but she doesn't flaunt it…well, all right, maybe a little, but everyone's too scared of her to dig deeply or pay too much attention to it, so…"

"She came up with some Combusken and Tauros story about how they weren't actually magical and all their powers could be explained by science," Tracey said. "Thankfully, Fantina punched holes in it and revealed Bellum for a fraud, disqualifying her and freeing the vampires from the cages Bellum was keeping them in."

"Ha! Nice!" Leo said.

"Thank goodness," Lily breathed.

"Well, I'm glad she lost face and those people are okay, but…" Pikachu prompted.

"We're _getting_ there. Geez, you're so impatient," Tracey said, rolling his eyes.

_Tell me about it,_ Dawn said.

There was an awkward pause. Pikachu coughed. "Uh, Dawn, when you say that, do you mean-" Leo started.

"Right. Vampires. Relevance?" Pikachu said loudly as Dawn blushed, Ash and Barbedo snickered, and Tiny blinked in confusion.

"Well, once they were free to speak, they said they weren't the only vampires, Bellum's associates were holding some of their friends hostage," Oak said. A slow grin came to his face. "And those associates…are the Nihilators."

Everyone started at this. "The Nihilators? They're former prisoners?" Pikachu cried.

Ash gasped. "Of course! Sasha, didn't Darkrai say he'd turned Gardevoir into a vampire as part of some convoluted plan to slow down their evil plot?"

Sasha's eyes widened in realization. "That's right, he did…and she must have been able to turn some other prisoners into vampires as well, for there to be more than one now!"

"And if these vampires were former prisoners of the Nihilators, then not only does that mean they may have information on Gardevoir, but also about where the bad guys' main hideout is located?" Leo asked hopefully.

Oak nodded. "That seems to be the case, yes."

"When the Order of Merlin heard that Bellum was part of an evil organization that's trying to release the Ruler of Evil, they agreed to hold a hearing in Fichina at the end of this week to look into the matter," Tracey said. "The vampires have agreed to give their testimony and spill everything they know about the Nihilators and their plans…which apparently, is quite a lot."

"I don't suppose there's any way we can become involved in that?" Ash asked.

"Aye, the lot of ye probably have a lot to say about those blighters," Barbedo agreed.

"Given that I've spent the last ten years killing them, you bet I do!" Briney said.

"If you could convince the Order to let you tell of your own experiences with the Nihilators—which may be a bit difficult, since they're somewhat prejudiced against nonmagical Pokémon, but I suppose if anyone can find a way around that, you lot can—then it would strengthen the results of this hearing exponentially," Oak said. "You see, the majority of the international community paid little heed to the Draconian Empire when they issued their initial warning about the dangers of the Nihilators, chalking it up to typical warmongering and exaggeration."

"That wasn't very nice of them," Tiny said.

"Yes, well, that's politics for you," Briney said.

"And they still feel that way even after the battle at Mt. Blaze?" Pikachu asked, miffed.

"If anything, it's only _reinforced_ widespread views that the Draconians are making all this up," Tracey said wearily.

Oak nodded. "Since there weren't any Shadow Pokémon in the fight and pretty much all the evidence which might have proven the barbarians had outside assistance and were gearing up for a major war effort were destroyed when the mountain collapsed, most people think they used the Nihilators as a drummed-up excuse to help rid a backwater town like Pokémon Square of some inconsequential pests in return for…something. Opinion on what that something is varies, but most of the rumors say that there's lots of valuable ore and other resources beneath Mt. Blaze, and claiming the barbarians there were working for a terrorist cell gave the Empire the perfect opportunity to grab it."

"…That's _ridiculous,_" said a stunned Ash.

"Again, that's politics for you," Briney said.

Dawn nodded. _And to be frank, things like that happen all the time._

"Yes, but it didn't _this_ time," Pikachu insisted.

Dawn shrugged. _And how is everyone else supposed to know that?_

"Why didn't the forces that invaded the mountain take cameras or whatever with them to record what was going on and prove there was a credible threat?" Leo asked.

"The intense volcanic heat and ambient demonic energy being given off from the gestating Devil Golem eggs would have rendered them useless," Lily said.

"Oh," Leo said. He scowled. "That's lame."

"Another contrived coincidence…" Pikachu grumbled. "And one not in our favor, for a change. I never thought I'd miss having them on our side…"

"In any event, most countries have treated the threat of the Nihilators as a paranoid fable and nothing to worry about," Oak continued.

"But then how do they explain the destruction of the Tree of Beginning? Or the almost-eruption of Giant Volcano? Or the enormous fleet of warships we took down at Zero Isle?" Tiny protested.

Barbedo nodded. "Aye, I was there, and they were no more a fable than I be!"

"The Tree's destruction is being blamed on seismic upheavals, the Nihilator ship that caused Giant Volcano to nearly erupt is being regarded as a hallucination caused by toxic fumes and heat overload due to the lava containment field malfunctioning, and nobody saw the giant fleet because you guys sank all of them and they probably destroyed any vessels that might have spotted them on the way there," Tracey said with a sigh.

"…That's even _more_ ridiculous," said a stunned Ash.

"How could they be so stupid?" Sasha demanded.

"Easily, they're government officials," Leo said. "Either they're too narrow-minded to acknowledge anything outside their world view, or the Nihilators are probably bribing them to look the other way."

"It's probably a bit of both," Briney said, knowing from experience.

Sasha sighed. "This is why I see little point in 'bureaucracies.' They only get in the way."

"I know, that's why I quit me job as a bean-counter and decided to become a pirate," Barbedo said. Everyone stared at him in astonishment. "What? Ye never knew I used to be an accountant?"

"That…seems to have been left out of the history books," said an amazed Oak.

Barbedo grunted. "Well, that's probably because I massacred everyone who knew me from back then so there was nobody left to tell the tale of me past. Ye know, to protect me reputation and all."

"…Right," Pikachu said.

"Anyway…I was saying that most nations currently think the Nihilator thing is a hoax, but with your testimony and that of the vampires, there should be enough corroborating evidence to force the rest of the world to recognize the threat they pose and _do_ something about it," Oak said. "With knowledge of their existence made public, the Nihilators will no longer be able to operate as effectively worldwide, possibly giving us the leverage we need to destroy them once and for all!"

"That's great!" Ash said, excited.

_Unless Bellum and the other Nihilators assassinate the vampires before they ever make it to the hearing,_ Dawn said.

"That's terrible," Ash said, crestfallen.

Lily nodded anxiously. "That sounds like something Mother would do. It wouldn't be the first time a case has been brought up against her, only for the witnesses to mysteriously vanish or recant their statements before the court date."

"Oh aye, that's common practice for crooks. I did it all the time too," Barbedo said. They gave him disgusted looks. "What? I'm a pirate! What d'ye expect?"

"Fortunately, Fantina seems to have had the same idea, which is why she's taken the vampires into protective custody and is personally transporting them to Fichina so they can make it to the hearing in one piece," Oak said.

"And _that's_ where you guys get your shot at talking to her," Tracey said.

"Finally. I was wondering if you'd ever get to the point. I was considering just telepathing it to everyone if you dragged on for too much longer," Briney complained.

Pikachu rolled his eyes. "And you guys said I was impatient?"

"How are we going to meet Fantina?" Sasha asked, getting to the point.

"Once the Convocum ends, she, the vampires, and one of her daughters, the Lady Bow, will ride back to Fichina in style on the Enchanted Express, one of the finest trains in all of Sinnorre, if not the world," Tracey said.

Leo gasped. "Oh cool! That's that super-elite high-end ultra-luxury magitech train they only let mega-rich mages ride, right?"

"Oh, I've always wanted to see it," Lily said wistfully. "But Mother tore up every picture of it she had and told me I'd _never_ get the chance to ride it because I was too ugly and weak and related to her after they banned her for eternity due to the incident with the attendant who mixed up her luggage. I wonder if they were ever able to find the patch of wallpaper she bound his tortured soul to…"

"What's a 'train?'" a confused Tiny asked.

"A connected series of vehicles for rail transport that move along a track to transport freight or passengers from one place to another," Leo said.

"Ah," said Tiny, not understanding in the slightest.

Sasha frowned. "A vehicle? As in…a confined space with lots of people crowded together? Oh dear…this already sounds unpleasant."

"Well, there's the matter of us getting on board first, which is something I'm not sure we can do, if it's as exclusive as Leo said it is," Pikachu said.

"Then it's a good thing Oak already got us all tickets," Briney said.

"You did?" the rest of the team cried in delight.

Oak threw Briney an exasperated look. "I thought you weren't going to do that!"

"I never said I wouldn't," the Metang said.

"You got tickets? That's great!" Tiny said.

_But how?_ Dawn asked.

"Well, there are a number of mages around the world who owe me a favor or two for my helping them with certain archaeological endeavors," Oak said. "You'd be surprised by the number of people who want to hire an expert to help them poke around some ancient ruins! Hmm, on second thought, maybe you wouldn't be…anyway, I asked them for help, and they were able to hook me up with enough tickets for all of you."

"That's a relief, I was afraid we were going to have to go on a tedious sidequest to get tickets, possibly from that nutjob Don Wiggly, in which we'd need to somehow find his daughter and bring her back because he's on his deathbed and wanted to see her one last time before he bought it or something like that," Leo said. "Which would be rather difficult to accomplish since the last we heard of Julie, she was leaving the planet_…"_

Pikachu shuddered. "I hope we never see that guy again…"

"He's not still in power, is he?" Ash asked unhappily.

"I'm afraid so, and worse than ever since his daughter ran off with a Clefairy to the Moon," Tracey said.

Barbedo grinned knowingly. "Ohhh, is _that_ what they call it these days?"

"No, she actually ran off with a Clefairy to the Moon," Pikachu said. "As…very odd as that sounds…"

"No more odder than Lily and I learning Brodie's name from a chain-smoking Berry addicted Dark Clefairy," Ash said. Pikachu had to concede the point.

"Then again…at the time, I did think they seemed a bit _close_ in that way, if you get what I mean," Leo said thoughtfully.

"No," Tiny said. "What do you mean?"

Leo balked. "Er…"

"Like what Leo and I have, and Dawn and Pikachu," Lily said.

Pikachu blanched. "We aren't…I mean, we…I…um…" His face turned red and he looked at the ground when Dawn glanced at him. "I'm…I don't know anymore…"

"Ohhhh," Tiny said. "Okay." Ash sighed in relief, glad nobody had mentioned the Clefairy had been _female_…which would have made poor Tiny even more confused… Leo opened his mouth to do just that, but thankfully Pikachu kicked him to shut him up.

"So with these tickets, we can get on the train and meet Fantina and not only get some badly needed information on the Nihilators but also perhaps gain access to the next Star Badge, and maybe a new ally or two?" Sasha asked.

"Sounds like a good plan to me," Briney said.

"Yeah, except for the part where you have to do it in disguise," Tracey said.

The others gave him puzzled looks. "What do you mean?" Ash asked.

"Wait, I get it," Leo realized. "Since Fantina's got something that's very important to the Nihilators, that means she may be a target…but they _don't_ know that she also has the next Star Badge. If any of their agents see us getting on the same train as her, though…"

"They'll put two and two together and realize she must have the next Badge, since why else would we be there?" Pikachu finished.

Dawn nodded. _And they will go all out to not only take out her and the vampires, but possibly also to invade and destroy the land of Fichina._

"Heh, good luck to them with that. If I couldn't do it, I doubt they could, if the forces they threw at us back at Zero Isle are anything to go by!" Barbedo snorted.

"That may be true, but they could also cause a lot of collateral damage and kill innocent people, which is something we want to avoid," Ash said. "Which means Tracey's right, we're going to have to board the train in disguise."

Lily frowned. "I would cast a glamour spell like before, but…everyone on that train will be skilled magical practitioners as good as, if not better, than I, and would recognize our deceit in an instant. I doubt Fantina, or anyone else, will be inclined to trust us if we appear to her in such a way…"

"Which means we'll have to fall back on the tried and true costume routine," Leo said with a wicked grin, an absolutely horrifying look in his eye.

Ash and Pikachu exchanged worried looks. "Why do I have a very bad feeling about this?" the Lucario asked.

"Because you know as well as I do we're going to be abjectly humiliated," Pikachu said.

_Not necessarily. I am rather skilled at disguises as well, Master. It comes with my line of work,_ Dawn said. _I'm sure I could find something dignified and suitable for you._

"Thank you, Dawn," Pikachu said in relief. "I trust your intuition about something like this a lot more than I do Leo's."

"Hey!" Leo said.

_But of course, Master,_ Dawn said, bowing and putting her face a…_little_ too close to Pikachu's. _You know that I would do _anything _to make you happy._

Pikachu gulped. "That's…um…that's very nice, Dawn. Thank you." Ash and Barbedo snickered. Leo, surprisingly, did not. In fact, he seemed to have taken Pikachu and Dawn's sort-of-not-quite-hooking up a lot more maturely than anyone had expected, congratulating them on taking care of what could have been months of humorous but frustrating unresolved sexual tension much quicker than anticipated and asking if they wanted to double-date with him and Lily sometime. Pikachu had not been amused, but Dawn had looked a little too tempted.

"Well, the Convocum won't be over for a little while, so we have time to work on your disguises and fabricate believable aliases," Oak said.

"You should probably reveal who you really are to Fantina if you want her to take you seriously, but anyone else could be a potential Nihilator or working for Bellum, so you'll need to have good covers to keep any of them from being suspicious," Tracey said.

"That shouldn't be a problem for us," Briney said confidently.

"There is one thing I do not understand, though," said the perplexed Sasha. "If Fantina is such a formidable sorceress, why bother riding a train at all? Wouldn't it be safer and faster for her to magically transport herself back to Fichina?"

They thought about that for a moment. "That's a very good question," Oak said finally.

"Maybe she just likes riding trains?" Leo suggested.

Briney shrugged. "As good an answer as any other."

"Enough to risk exposing herself and her charges to all the terrible things that could conceivably happen on the way?" Sasha asked skeptically.

"I'm sure she has her reasons," Lily said.

_And we'll learn them as soon as we meet her,_ Dawn said.

"Which won't be too long from now," Tracey said. "The Convocum ends the day after tomorrow, and the Enchantment Express leaves for Fichina immediately after that. There aren't any train stations near Treasure Town—after all, who in their right mind would want to come here if they didn't have to?—but there's one at the famous Hot Springs near Lush Prairie, which I believe is within range of Lily's portal spell."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean anything if she's never been there before," Leo pointed out.

"Oh, but I _have_ been there before," Lily said.

Everyone looked at her in surprise. "Wait, you mean your mom actually took you to a nice place like that?" Ash asked in disbelief.

Lily nodded. "Yes, so that I could use my fire powers to turn up the heat in the springs to the point that they boiled people alive. I didn't _want_ to, but…you know how she is…"

There was a long, awkward pause. "Lily, how many…" Pikachu started, before shaking his head. "No, on second thought, I'd rather not know."

"I know, and I wish I didn't…" Briney murmured uncomfortably.

"Uh…anyway, we've figured out when the train should arrive at the Hot Springs," Oak said, getting back on subject. "So you should have plenty of time to warp over there, change into your disguises, get to the platform—_separately_, of course, you wouldn't want anyone to think you were traveling as a group—and board the train when it pulls in."

"We're going to split up?" Tiny asked in alarm, clearly startled at the prospect of going anywhere without all his friends. It was a sign of just how far he'd come that this idea worried him so much.

"Just for a little while," Ash assured him. "And we'll all still be on the same train, just…in separate rooms. And we have to pretend we don't know each other." Although Tiny didn't have much of a facial expression in his current form, it was easy to tell that this still didn't sit well with him.

"It sounds like we have a plan, then," Pikachu said.

"Yes, but what about _me_?" Barbedo complained. "What're the lads and I supposed to do while all of ye are away? We can't go on any raids without our captain or drawing unwanted attention from those Nihilators…hmm, though I guess we could remodel this place into a lair more befitting scurvy pirates like ourselves…" Tracey and Oak exchanged horrified looks at this.

Fortunately, Briney had everything under control. "Belay that talk, Barbedo. You won't have any time for that what with the project I'm giving you."

Barbedo narrowed his eyes. "Aye? And what would that be, Captain?"

"As Tracey and Oak's minds have informed me-" Briney started.

"Hey!" both researchers shouted.

Briney ignored them. "The Nihilators are still holed up in the catacombs under Treasure Town. Have you ever been down there, Vice-Captain?"

Barbedo chortled. "Of course, what scalawag hasn't, looking for the legendary treasure? Admittedly, I've never made it as far down as ye lads have…not for lack of trying, of course, it's just that we never really got around to it, what with all the other loot to steal and people to kill. We meant to do it some day, though…until we got imprisoned on our own island hideaway, which was a bit of a setback, as you can well imagine! Why, what d'ye-" He gasped, getting it. "Ohhhh…I see."

Briney nodded. "That's right. Those bastards have controlled this town and defiled it (well, more than it was already defiled) long enough. It's time to clean house and liberate this place from their claws so Treasure Town can go from being a shithole hive of scum and villainy controlled by an evil organization to…a shithole hive of scum and villainy _not_ controlled by an evil organization."

"Is that really a change for the better?" Sasha asked doubtfully.

Briney shrugged. "Abyss if I care. So long as Nihilators die, I'll consider it a victory."

"Good to know you have the best of intentions, Briney," Pikachu said sarcastically.

"Don't I always?" Briney said smugly.

"That actually isn't a bad idea," Ash said. "So long as the Nihilators have the door secure, then our job will never really be over. We'll always have to worry that they might find a way to break the seal even without the Badges."

"Plus, I'm not sure I want to think about what could happen to them if they get exposed to the corrupting influence of the door for too long," Leo said.

Dawn nodded in agreement. _They are corrupt enough as is. They cannot be allowed to gain any more power than they already have._

"Well, the boys and I'll make sure that doesn't happen!" Barbedo boasted.

"Are you sure you're up to the job? There's some pretty nasty stuff down there," Tracey said. He shuddered. "Trust me, I know from experience."

Barbedo gave him an annoyed look. "And what do ye think I be, lad? Ol' Barbedo can handle anything Treasure Town can throw at him! We're immortal, after all. What's the worst the monsters down there can do? Eat us? Tear us apart? We'll just pull ourselves back together and rip 'em to shreds from within!"

"That's true…you guys really are the most capable bunch to handle a job like this, aren't you?" Pikachu realized.

Barbedo snorted. "As if it weren't obvious!"

"Uh, one thing," Lily said. "Didn't the Nihilators seal all the entrances to the lower depths of the catacombs?"

"They did, but Tracey found a passageway they missed," Oak said. "Considering how big the labyrinth is, it's not much of a surprise they'd have slipped up somewhere, really. They couldn't have plugged up _all_ the tunnels, no matter how hard they tried." He frowned. "Though part of it might be because there's _things_ moving down there, always making new routes of their own…"

"Nice going, Tracey!" Leo complimented his friend.

"Yeah, thanks," Tracey grumbled. "While you were out having adventure on the high seas and making out with your hot girlfriend, I was mucking about in the dark and trying not to get eaten by grues. And worse."

Lily blinked. "Hot? Is he referring to my proficiency with fire, or-"

"He was saying you're attractive," Briney explained.

Lily flushed. "M-me? Really?"

"Well, considering how few girls he runs into in real life, _all_ girls are hot for him," Leo said, glaring at the Smeargle, somewhat annoyed Tracey seemed to be into his girlfriend.

Tracey flushed. "Come on mon, that's not fair…besides, I don't find Sasha attractive."

The Absol frowned. "Why?"

"Because you terrify me," Tracey said.

"Ah," Sasha said. "Good."

"And I don't?" Lily asked.

"No, you're too nice," Tracey said, causing Lily to blush and Leo to glare even harder.

_And I terrify you as well?_ Dawn asked.

"Um. Yes," Tracey said, which was half of the truth, the other half being he found her grotesque burn scars to be a big turn-off.

"Ye need to learn to be less picky with women, lad. One day ye may find yerself without as many pretty lasses to choose from, and no prospect of seeing more for a _very_ long time, and ye have to make do with what ye-" Barbedo started, much to everyone's horror.

"Can we _not_ talk about this?" Tracey shouted, face turning bright red. "And besides, I have a girlfriend, you know!"

"You do?" Leo asked in surprise.

"Yeah, I met her on a chat room one night, and we hit it off. She sent me a picture of herself. She's _really_ hot," Tracey said dreamily.

"…Dude, you realize that most of the time someone sends you a picture like that, they're really a grody old guy, right?" Leo said in disgust.

"Hey, don't go there, mon! She's the real deal!" Tracey said stubbornly. "And one day I'm gonna meet her for real and we'll be totally into each other and make out and stuff!"

"Yeah. Sure," Leo said skeptically. "In the meantime I'll be making out with my _genuine_ girlfriend who's right here and totally sexy and not some creepy old guy trying to prey on impressionable kids he meets on the Internet."

"Hey!" Tracey snapped angrily.

"Um…can we please change the subject?" Lily asked, blushing.

"Gladly," Pikachu said in relief. "So. Tracey found a passage into the areas of the undertown controlled by the Nihilators, and Barbedo and the pirates are going to try and clear it out while the rest of us are on a train to Fichina. Am I right?"

Oak nodded. "That about sums things up, yes."

Barbedo grinned. "Yarr, ye can count on us to get rid of those pests! We'll clean out the place as thoroughly as whatever killed off the people who used to live there!"

Ash frowned. "Speaking of which…Professor, I don't suppose you've figured out what exactly happened to the people who built that city?"

Oak sighed. "Unfortunately, no. Admittedly, I haven't been able to investigate the ancient ruins as much as I would like what with all the Nihilators and monsters infesting the place, but…from what I _have_ seen, there's no sign of the architects and inhabitants. No bodies or remains whatsoever. Whatever happened took place millions of years ago, yes, but there should still be some fossil, some remnant…either they all walked out of the city one day and never came back, or they vanished into thin air."

"Ooh! Maybe they managed to evolve into energy beings and left this physical plane behind! Or maybe they somehow got banished to another dimension. Or maybe they're actually still _in_ the city but exist as invisible and imperceptible ghosts, unable to interact with material beings like us. Or maybe-" Leo speculated.

"Maybe all those weird statues _are_ the aliens and they're hibernating or trapped in some kind of stasis?" Tracey suggested, getting into the swing of things.

"Yeah!" Leo said eagerly. The others sweatdropped.

"Well, you can speculate all you like, but I'd rather hold back on any theories until I can find evidence to back them up," Oak said. "And I won't find that evidence until we manage to take the ruins back from the Nihilators…which means, Barbedo, if you could please do your best not to cause too much property damage while you're down there, I would appreciate it."

Barbedo sulked. "Oh, come on! Not even a little looting and pillaging? Ruins of long-lost civilizations always have the best treasure! It's where I got me ship, after all!"

"_My_ ship," Briney corrected him.

"Well, it _used _to be mine, anyway…" Barbedo murmured resentfully.

"Barbedo, I know you're used to taking everything that's not nailed down-" Oak started.

"And uprooting everything that _is_ nailed down, just in case!" Barbedo said proudly.

"But that's not the way we…well, okay, not the way _I_ do things," Oak said sternly. "So if we're going to be working together, I would like you to show a little restraint."

Barbedo scowled. "You aren't the boss of me!"

"Barbedo, do what he says while I'm gone," Briney said.

Barbedo deflated. "Oh, all right…he has a nice enough hat, I suppose he's worth listening to, even if he's an egghead."

"…The only reason you're going to listen to me is because of my crown?" Oak asked.

"Sure, hats are a big status symbol for pirates," Leo said.

The skeleton nodded. "Aye, why did ye think I became king of the pirates? It was because I had a nice hat!" Barbedo said.

"I thought it was because you were ruthless, indomitable, nigh-immortal, had an incredibly loyal crew, an unstoppable ship, and a giant Crawdaunt for a pet," Tiny said.

"The rest of that stuff's just side dressing. It's really all about the hat," Barbedo insisted, causing the others to sweatdrop.

"The hat which I am now wearing," Briney reminded him.

Barbedo sighed. "Aye, that ye are…I've got to get me a new one."

"So long as it's not as nice as mine, go right ahead. Don't think of overreaching yourself, _Vice_-Captain," Briney warned him.

Barbedo rolled his eyes. "Aye, Cap'n…"

"So I guess that's settled, then?" Ash asked. "To reiterate—yet again-We'll head to Fichina to get the Star Badge and spill the beans on the Nihilator and Barbedo and his crew will clear out the catacombs, hopefully without causing too much damage."

Barbedo sighed. "If I must…"

"Don't worry, it'll be an educational experience!" Oak assured him.

The pirate grimaced. "That be what I'm afraid of…"

"So, let's spend the time we have left until we need to head out getting ready for our parts. There's a lot riding on this, so we have to make sure there are no slip-ups," Pikachu said, glaring at Leo.

"Yeah, no slip-ups, Tiny," Leo said, glaring at Tiny.

Tiny blinked. "What did I do?"

…

And so time passed as the heroes prepared for their impending mission. While a beleaguered Tracey struggled to teach the rowdy and impatient pirates how to navigate the maze of caves and ruins under Treasure Town, Team Aurabolt practiced their roles and memorized the histories of their assumed identities so that they could carry out their disguises without a hitch. Additionally, they endeavored to increase their proficiency with a number of new items that had recently fallen into their possession. Just before leaving Zero Isle, they had decided to give the pirates' extensive treasure hoard a once-over to see if there was anything there that they might find worth taking with them on their journey. The ludicrous sums of money didn't interest any of them (except Leo) much, other than to bolster their wallets, but they managed to find a number of unique and very useful objects scattered among the glittering heaps of treasure. Briney hadn't taken more than a few trinkets, figuring that since he'd already gained a new ship, crew, and hat, grabbing for more would be selfish and greedy, so left the rest to the others.

Ash had been both delighted and dismayed to find a pair of sturdy crystal-encrusted gloves as well as a staff similar to Aaron's, which Barbedo bragged he'd wrested from an Aura Guardian that had been spent to dispatch him and used to run the poor bastard through…apparently _before_ he'd become an undead monster, too. Ash had claimed the gloves and staff, and was taking lessons from Aaron via teleconference on how he could use them to channel and enhance his Aura, along with the other Aura training the blind Lucario was giving him at the same time as Rui so that both of their burgeoning powers could reach their full potential as soon as possible.

Pikachu had found a few old but serviceable swords that he could use as spares if Thunder Fang were ever unavailable for some reason, as well as a set of samurai armor just his size that he immediately snatched up before an envious Leo could, saying it might come in handy someday. While he would not be wearing the armor on the train—it didn't quite mesh with the background of his fake identity—he'd be using a couple of the extra swords, since the mystical Thunder Fang was too unique and easily recognizable for him to carry around, though he intended to bring it along in his luggage just in case he needed it, which he—and everyone else—were sure he would, sooner or later.

Leo hadn't been upset about the loss of the armor for very long, consoling himself by stuffing his shell with as much gold and jewels as he could carry. That wasn't enough for him, however, and he decided it was high time he got a weapon of his own. When it was pointed out that he had plenty of gadgets and other gimmicks that served the same purpose, he said he wanted to branch out a bit so he'd be more than just the goofy genre-savvy smart guy. Reluctantly, Ash and Pikachu had allowed him to take some tonfa he found, reasoning it would be harder for him to hurt himself or his friends with them. Several black eyes, bruises, and one near-asphyxiation later, though, the tonfas were confiscated for the safety of Leo and everyone else, leaving the Squirtle with nothing. Dawn promised she'd train him in the proper use of the tonfas when they had time, but that time was not now, so he'd have to do without them for the time being. He sulked for a while, but not even this fazed him for long, as he started spending a lot of time behind closed doors doing…something with several of the treasures he'd accumulated from the hoard as well as other places in their adventure. Lily had tried phasing through the walls to see what he was up to, but he'd shushed her out, saying it was a 'surprise.'

Sasha had found a surprise of her own in the form of the vestments of a high priest of Darkrai, which had apparently been lost for centuries. Darkrai had been looking for them for ages, in spite of his wife snidely commenting they were probably buried somewhere in the back of his closet. A shame she was currently being held hostage by the Nihilators, or he could have waved them in her face as proof that she had been wrong. The garments had been modified for someone of her dimensions—they had originally been meant for a human, not a four-legged Pokémon—and were incorporated into the disguise she'd be using on the train. She spent the time until their departure trying to get comfortable in her new robes, not used to wearing something other than a scarf or badge against her fur.

Tiny had puzzled everyone by picking a sword, along with the aforementioned stylish top hat. And not just any sword, but an absolutely massive zweihander that even Barbedo had a little trouble lifting. When asked why he wanted such a large and unwieldly sword, especially since he didn't currently have any arms to hold it with, he'd replied, "Well, Grandpa said he was going to teach me how to use a sword, so I figured I'd save him the trouble of having to make one by picking one that's already suited for a Pokémon the size I'll be once I'm ready to use it."

Lily had found a number of spellbooks, including a few rare volumes that her mother had apparently spent years looking for with no success. She was more than a little upset that the pirates had irreverently torn out many of the pages for napkins or toilet paper, but by poring over what remained she was still able to add a few new spells to her repertoire. Leo had hopefully asked her if there were any that would enable him to learn how to use magic, but she'd regretfully told him that it didn't work that way. "You either have the gift, or you don't, and if you don't, there isn't really anything you could do about it."

"Mon, this would be such a snap to solve if we were in a universe that operated on the rules of some of the RPGs I've played or fantasy settings I've read about. There, all you have to do is study a lot and you can learn magic just like that," Leo had complained.

"Yes, but we aren't in a world like that, so you'll have to leave the magic to me," she'd told him apologetically. "If it's any consolation…being around you is magical in a way unlike anything I've ever imagined." He'd turned Tamato red at that and said no more.

Dawn had found some new claws and a ninjato sword that had apparently belonged to a ninja that had tried and failed to assassinate Barbedo at some point in the past. She initially considered leaving them, since they had belonged to a failure, but eventually decided they were so well-made and effective she couldn't afford to abandon them. Pikachu was a little unnerved by how, well, _sinister_ they looked on her, and considered forbidding her to use them, but she seemed happy with them and he didn't want to be responsible for ruining that. He knew if he gave her an order she would obey it in a heartbeat, even if it was something she might not like, which felt wrong, especially after…whatever had happened that night…he needed to talk to her about it some time, but he kept putting it off because he wasn't sure he'd like the answers he received.

In any event, they spent their time well, and when the appointed hour came, they put on their costumes, bid farewell to Oak, Tracey, and the pirates, and portalled to the Hot Springs, appearing in a secluded spot far from prying eyes. (Leo lamented the fact that they were missing out on a perfect opportunity for a 'Hot Springs' episode, something none of the others quite understood, and concluded it was probably for the best that they didn't.) Somewhat regretfully, they split up into groups and went their separate ways, going in different directions and taking their time so that they wouldn't arrive at the train platform all at once and nobody would suspect that they were associated with each other.

And so it was that, one after the other, a number of perfect strangers met each other for the first time while waiting at the train station for the Enchanted Express. They were just about the only people on the outdoor platform, actually, save for a few train enthusiasts and other people, since nobody else in the town had the magic or the money to afford passage on the magical train to Fichina. And who were these strangers, you might ask?

"Well, land's sakes, I was expectin' a bigger turnout than this!" Mother Leonora, a heavily perfumed matronly Squirtle with dark glasses carrying a flower basket in a green habit and wimple with a rosary that had a pink glass flower hanging from his-*ahem*-_her_ neck, said. "Where're all the crowds of people waitin' for a ride home after a relaxing and _scintillating_ vacation in these here Hot Springs? Where're all the happy couples and giggling chilluns and dirty ol' mons goin' home after a fling with their mistresses?"

"Most of those people don't live in Fichina, Mother," Leonora's companion, Sister Lilandra, a Misdreavus also in a green habit and wimple with a similar rosary necklace, pointed out. "So wouldn't be waiting for the train going there."

"Ah, tha's true, tha's true," Leonora said, nodding sagely. "Guess that means it'll be that much easier to make some new friends and bring the Flowery Path of Shaymin to these dreary souls! C'mon, Sister Lilandra, less introduce ourselves!"

"Yes, Mother," Lilandra said, feeling uncomfortable for three reasons: one was that she was calling her boyfriend 'mother,' which brought up bad memories of her real mother and had quite a few odd connotations, one was that her hair did not like being confined in the wimple she was wearing, and one was that her boyfriend was dressed like a womon, which didn't seem right somehow.

It probably doesn't seem right to anyone, actually, which is why some context may be necessary to explain why, exactly, Leo was disguised as a nun. For that, we'll need to backtrack a day or two into the past, when Leo first announced who he was going on the train as. "You're…disguising yourself as a _nun?_" Ash had asked incredulously.

"Yep," Leo had said.

"But Leo, you're a…male," Lily had said awkwardly. "And nuns are supposed to be female, aren't they?"

"Why?" Sasha had asked.

"That's just the way it is," Briney had said with a shrug.

"Leo, I'm pretty sure it's sacrilegious to impersonate a religious authority, let alone one of the opposite gender," Pikachu had said sternly.

Leo had frowned at that. "Who's pretending? I _am_ a high-ranking member of the Sisterhood of the Bountiful Gracidea!"

There had been a long, stunned pause at that. _What,_ Dawn had clicked.

"Are you…feeling all right, Leo?" Ash had asked. "Because either I heard you wrong, or you just said-"

"That I'm a high-ranking member of the Sisterhood of the Bountiful Gracidea," Leo had repeated. "What, is that so hard to believe?"

Nobody had answered him or looked him in the eye at that. "Could you maybe explain _why_ you're a member of an all-female religious order?" Pikachu had asked finally.

"Unless there's something you aren't telling us?" Sasha had asked suspiciously.

Leo had sighed and rolled his eyes. "See, this is why I didn't bring it up sooner, because I knew you guys would react like this. Look, it's like this: back before I met all of you and was preparing for my inevitable heroic journey, I thought it might be a good idea to become an ordained priest just in case I ever needed to marry someone or exorcise a demon or christen a baby. So, I tried to join the Arcean Order and several other religious organizations via the web. For reasons I still can't comprehend, they turned me down."

"Gee, I wonder why…" Briney had muttered.

"Yeah, so did I!" Leo had said, missing the sarcasm. "Finally, I had no choice but to turn to the Sisterhood of the Bountiful Gracidea, which has the loosest membership policy of any religious group I could find other than the Mewrians…save for the fact that you have to be a girl to get in. I don't know why, it seems kind of sexist—I mean, it's not like all Grass or flower Pokémon are female, right?—but there it was. So, I figured I'd just lie about my gender on my application."

"…And they _bought_ it?" Ash had asked incredulously.

"Yep," Leo had said. "The fact that I used some of my mom's makeup and fancy clothes for the face-to-face web interview didn't hurt, either."

"…Ah," a very disturbed Tiny had said.

"…If I were of a harsher denomination of Arceanism, I'd say you would go to the Abyss for pulling off something like that," Pikachu had said finally.

Leo had smirked. "Heh, no way, Shayminists don't believe in a hell for our sinners! Everyone winds up in a beautiful endless field of flowers."

"What, even the bad people?" Lily had asked.

"Yes, they just wind up in the section where all the weeds and stinky flowers are, and have to gain repentance by picking them for a few decades or something," Leo had said.

"My mother certainly deserves worse than that," a disgusted Lily had said.

"Yeah, but she's not a follower of Shaymin, so she'd never end up there," Leo had pointed out. "She'd wind up somewhere much worse."

"Oh, good," Lily had said in relief.

_And you became a high-ranking member of this group without them ever realizing you were a fraud _how_?_ Dawn had asked.

"With great difficulty," Leo had said. Her eye had twitched.

And that had been that. Leo had turned himself into Mother Leonora, using a ton of perfume to mask his male scent from Pokémon with more sensitive noses (and also giving Ash and Sasha big headaches) and swearing Lily in as a new Sister, since she didn't look forward to the prospect of being on her own and insisted on staying with him on the train. The fact that she would feel more comfortable meeting Fantina with Leo by her side went without saying, naturally.

She was starting to wonder if that had perhaps been a bad idea, though, as Leo started harassing their friends, i.e. random strangers they'd never met before in their lives. "Howdy-do, sir! Have you opened your heart ta the smell of fresh flowers?" Leo asked Briney, who was wearing a tweed jacket, a pair of thick glasses, and had reluctantly removed his eyepatch, hat, and mustache so as to look more unassuming and less totally badass. He was also wearing a glass eye in place of Peeko's, since apparently scholars specializing in the field of magical history—which was what he was pretending to be—didn't go around wearing eyepatches or their deceased wife's eyes for some reason the sea captain didn't quite understand. He also didn't understand why he couldn't wear his hat, he felt naked and somewhat small without it.

"Well now, what's all this? Fresh flowers? That sounds smashing; shall we talk about it over a cup of tea then? Why yes, come and sit by me, mum, and we'll have a nice chat, eh wot?" Briney said in a clipped, almost effeminate voice that sounded weird to those who knew him best. _Do I really have to talk like this?_ He complained telepathically.

_Yes. Don't break character!_ Leo scolded him. "Well sir, today is your lucky day, 'cause we're members of the Sisterhood of the Bountiful Gracidea, here to bring peace to the world by spreadin' the scent of fresh flowers ta every corner of the globe! Would you like a Gracidea flower? They only cost one Poké a piece, and jus' bein' in the same room as one can calm down even the angriest of Pokémon!"

"Well, if it's only one Poké, chaps, I don't see why not," Briney said. _Do I have to?_

_Yes! _Leo replied.

_But what am I supposed to do with it?_ Briney asked.

_Stick it in your lapel or something, how should I know?_ "Sister Lilandra?" Leonora said.

Lily levitated a lovely pink flower from Leo's basket and sent it floating over to Briney. "Here you go, sir. May its sweet scent bring you happiness!"

"As do I," Briney said, taking a deep sniff and struggling not to look utterly disgusted. "So, might I ask what a pair of…lovely…young lasses like yourselves are doing here?"

"We're waitin' for the train to Fichina, where we hope ta grow acres of Gracidea flowers and let their scent coax those xenophobic mages out of their dark towers and inta the sunlight with the rest of the world!" Leo said cheerfully. "And what's a fine learned mon like yourself goin' ta Fichina for?"

_Are you hitting on me?_ The Metang asked, disturbed. "Research," Briney said gruffly. "I'm Professor Emeritus Brindleworth of Pokémon University, a historian specializing in the study of magic and civilizations based on it. I'm going to Fichina in hopes of learning more about the origins of magic on our world as well as how it shapes the modern society of that country. I've applied many times for a travel visa to Fichina, and I was finally able to obtain one just recently, despite all my previous failures."

"Why did they turn you down so often?" Lily asked.

"Because the wankers don't care much for the nonmagical, or the world outside their borders, I suppose," Briney said with a shrug. "I don't know what changed their minds this time, but I intend to take advantage of it and make the most of my visit, eh wot?"

"Well, I hope you find everything you're lookin' for there, as do we," Leo said kindly. "That'll be one Poké, please."

"Eh?" Briney said.

"The flower. One Gracidea for one Poké?" Lily reminded him.

"Oh. Right." Rather reluctantly, Briney reached into the briefcase dangling from one arm and dropped a single coin into Leo's hand. _I'll want that back later, boy._

_Geez, it's just one Poké,_ Leo said.

_Yes, _my_ Poké,_ _and you can't keep it,_ Briney said. "Thank you kindly for the flower, mum, and I hope you get to grow as many as you dream of." _You cross-dressing freak._

"I'm sure we will," Leo said. _You penny-pinching intolerant hardass._

_Watch it, boy, I can hear you!_ Briney growled.

_That's the idea!_ Leo replied, the two of them glaring fiercely at each other from behind fake grins. Lily sweatdropped, wondering if it was too late to take on a different identity.

Meanwhile, Ash and Tiny, both of whom were swaddled in orange robes with Ash's new staff slung across his back and the Pupitar without his monocle or top hat (much to his chagrin), approached Pikachu, who was wearing some wooden pauldrons, had a nonmagical sword sheathed on his back along with a smaller wakizashi blade hanging from his hip, a very arrogant expression on his face, and elongated head fur pulled back in a ponytail, grown out by Lily's magic. A kimono-wearing Dawn, her facial scars covered by a great deal of white makeup, her ears tied back in a braid, hung on Pikachu's arm while fanning herself with a fan that had an elegant design of clashing Weavile painted on it. Ash clasped his hands together and bowed to Pikachu. "Greetings, traveler. I take it that you are headed for the same destination as we?"

Pikachu scowled and reached for his sword. "Who are you that dares to approach me unannounced and unwelcome?"

"My lord, calm yourself. They are blessed, like myself," Sasha said as she came up next to Pikachu. She was wearing the priestess garments they had found on Zero Isle, a black robe with red trim and a high collar made of jagged red stones along with black streamers hanging down from her shoulders. Her tail blade was painted white for some reason. A cloth hung over her lower face, a gold sheath had been put over her head blade, and filmy white contacts had been placed in her eyes to make her look blind.

Pikachu relaxed a fraction and let go of his blade. "My apologies, holy ones. I meant no offense. I have been on edge of late…I am indeed on my way to Fichina, and it is there I hope I may finally earn some rest."

"What is the source of your strife, O warrior?" Ash asked.

"I am Ronin, a disgraced samurai. Due to circumstances I do not wish to go into, I have lost my fortune, my land, and my honor. I have recently been summoned to Fichina to receive an inheritance from a distant relative, however, and it is my hope that with it I can take back what is rightfully mine," Pikachu said.

"And your companions?" Ash asked.

"They are of little consequence. The wench on my arm is my favored womon, Mineko, and the Absol my soothsayer, Kutabe. They come with me because there is nowhere else for them to go, and I allow it because it does not do for a warrior to travel without a female to keep the bedroll warm," Pikachu said gruffly. Sasha bowed her head and Dawn fluttered her fan and threw Ash a flirtatious look that was…really weird, coming from her. "And what business takes you to Fichina, holy ones?"

"I am Hiori, a monk from a distant land," Ash said. "I came to Sinnorre in search of the Chosen One, a Pokémon spoken of in my order's prophecies that would bring peace to the world. I believe I have found the Chosen One in this young one here, Rico, and we go to Fichina to awaken his mystical powers so he may fulfill his destiny."

"A noble quest. I wish you success in your endeavors, young one," Pikachu said to Rico, who nodded but said nothing. Pikachu frowned and glanced at Ash. "He does not speak?"

"He has taken a vow of silence until our journey is at an end," Ash explained.

"I see. He must have a great deal of fortitude to maintain such a vow," Pikachu said, impressed. "All the more honor to him, then. Although…if he fulfills his destiny, I don't suppose there would be much room left in the world for someone like me."

Ash shrugged. "Everyone must find their own path, one way or another."

Pikachu laughed. "Ha! I suppose that is true. Very well, then…you shall go your way, and I shall go mine. Our paths run parallel at the moment, but who can say what will happen once we reach our destination? Perhaps we will part ways, never to see each other again…or maybe our fates will intersect again, no matter how unlikely it may seem."

"Everything happens for a reason, so if we are to meet again, there is surely a purpose behind it," Ash said.

"Then there had better be a damn good reason for what happened to me," Pikachu grumbled. "Hmmph. Keep your philosophizing to yourself. The only truth I believe in is that of the sword."

Ash shrugged again. "As I said, everyone must find their own path. I hope that yours will lead to happiness."

"As do I," Pikachu said. "As do I." Once Ash and Tiny had left, he winced and muttered to Dawn, "You don't have to cling to me so tight, you know."

_Why? I am your bedmate. It is to be expected of me,_ Pikachu said.

"Well, yes, but…" He sighed. "Somehow I think you're enjoying this role too much."

_Is it so different from reality, Master?_ She asked.

He grimaced. "I'd rather hope it was…"

There was a high, piercing whistle, and their heads whirled around to see a speck coming down the track off in the distance, a pillar of rainbow-colored smoke filled with strange shapes and figures rising from it as it approached at high speeds. "Ooh! Look, Sister Lilandra, it's the train! Ain't she a beaut?" Leo cried in delight

"I don't know, Mother Leonora, I can't see it very well," Lily said.

"Well, it'll be a beaut once it gets closer, of _that_ I'm certain!" Leo said.

He was right. Their jaws dropped in wonder as the train became fully visible and ground to a halt on the tracks in front of them, steam hissing from its engine as the whistle mounted on the front car tooted loudly to announce its arrival. The train consisted of ten cars: a locomotive, six passenger cars, a dining car, a staff car, and a storage car at the rear. All the cars were blue with glittering stars and moons and comets decorating their sides that actually swirled about the more they looked at them. The locomotive car was sculpted to resemble a dragon's head, with a jutting lower jaw extending forwards into a cattle catcher, a pair of smoking nostrils from which clouds of rainbow-hued steam wafted out, and a pair of thick glass 'eyes' forming the front windows. A large pointed blue cone like a wizard's hat rose from atop the dragon's head, crackling with arcane power and covered in glowing sigils, as were the gleaming silvery wheels elevating the cars off the ground. The words 'Enchanted Express' were painted on the sides of the engine car in a style that made them look like the dragon's teeth, sparkling as the sunlight shone on them and some of the ambient magic energized them.

"Cor, isn't she something," murmured an impressed Briney as some of the train enthusiasts eagerly took pictures.

"Shaymin's mercy, if that ain't just the Meowth's…meow!" Leo said.

"It's amazing!" Lily agreed.

"Oooo," said Tiny.

"Chosen One, you're supposed to be silent," Ash murmured.

"Huh? Oh, right. I mean…um…" Tiny flushed and stayed silent.

"So this is the conveyance that will take me to my destiny?" Pikachu asked Sasha.

"The very same, my lord," she replied.

"Well, I suppose it'll be an interesting ride, at least…" he said. Dawn fanned herself.

Doors slid open on the cars and a handful of mages came out with their luggage. A couple of them had family or servants waiting for them on the platform, but the majority were just disembarking here because they wanted to try the hot springs. After a few moments passed and nobody else exited the train, a Gastly wearing a conductor's cap materialized near one of the doors and called, "Aaaaall aboard! We'll be leaving in five minutes, so anyone who wants to make it to Fichina had better get on quick, because we won't be waiting for any stragglers! We've got a schedule to keep, after all!"

"We're leaving so soon? What, no stop for refueling or systems checks?" asked an amazed Leo.

"Ma'am, this here's a _magic_ train. We don't _need_ to do any of that stuff," the Gastly said with a proud grin.

"He has a point," Lily said.

"Then what are we waitin' for, hun? Let's get on that thing, we don't wantna be left behind!" Leo declared, scrambling for the train. "Git a move on!"

"I hear you, mum," Briney said, floating after him.

The eight of them quickly boarded the train, presenting their tickets to the conductor as they went to prove they had earned their ride. Once they were all on, the Gastly scanned the platform to see if anyone else was going to get on, and when none of the few remaining Pokémon on the platform made a move, he shrugged and floated back inside the train. The doors slid shut, the whistle blew, the engine car's eyes lit up, and the cone started spinning, energy crackling around it and dancing along the cars, causing the decorations on the sides to gleam dazzlingly as magical mechanisms all over the vehicle powered up. Residual energy still crackling around them, the wheels churned into motion with a great screech, moving slowly at first but rapidly picking up speed as they carried the train along the track and past the station, moving faster and faster until the smoke rising from the exhaust was almost blown horizontally back and faint afterimages of stars and magical sigils were left in the locomotive's wake as it steamed off towards Fichina, whistle blowing loudly as if to exult in the sheer joy of being alive and running on the tracks. (Which, considering it was a magic train, it very well might have been.)

"That was so cool!" said an Igglybuff on the platform as she watched the Enchanted Express disappear over the distant horizon.

"One day, I'm gonna ride that train," her friend, a Kabuto, said.

"Don't you need magic to get on that thing?" the Igglybuff asked skeptically.

"I can do magic!" the Kabuto insisted.

"Yeah? Like what?" the Igglybuff taunted.

The Kabuto Tackled her, knocking on her rump. "I can make you see stars," he snickered as her eyes swirled in a daze.

"Actually, they're more like moons," she said deliriously.

He shrugged. "Eh, close enough."

…

"Huh. So this is what a train's like," Briney murmured as he looked out the window at the passing prairielands the train was locomoting through. "I think I like my ship better."

Turning away from the window, he took stock of his room. It was about the size of his captain's quarters on the _Peeko XII_ and just as luxurious, with a plush carpet, a soft fold-out bed that could be modified to accommodate just about any body type by messing with its control runes, a small bookshelf full of ancient arcane tomes as well as more modern literature, a wall-mounted crystal ball with a connection to the Crystal Network—the magical world's answer to cable and the Internet—and a small bathroom that could also magically transform its contents and makeup to meet the needs of just about any Pokémon who might use it. Briney noted that both the suite and the bathroom looked far too big to fit on the car from what he'd seen of the exterior, but figured they'd just used some magic mass-shifting trick to make it all work, which he supposed was pretty convenient, though he wondered if all this space was really necessary. Then again, this was a train for the wealthy and powerful, and in his experience the wealthy and powerful didn't like having small rooms. Bunch of rich, spoiled snobs. Still, it looked nice…

He tried to extend his telepathic senses outward to make contact with his teammates or read the minds of the other passengers in the car, and was disappointed but unsurprised when he found himself unable to sense anything. He'd been warned ahead of time that powerful wards were in place to protect the privacy of the passengers, but had held out a faint hope he'd be able to circumvent them anyway. Now that hope was squelched, and Briney was starting to feel more and more uncomfortable being unable to hear anyone's thoughts but his own. Contrary to what the others thought, his habit of constantly prying into the minds of everyone around him didn't only stem from paranoia, but also from loneliness. Ever since Peeko died, he'd subconsciously reached out to others for companionship even while staying aloof and apart from them, some way to remind himself he wasn't alone in the world. He did it because some of the things lurking in his mind troubled him, and he didn't want to pay too much attention to them lest they overwhelmed his sanity. He'd done a lot of gruseomes things in his day, and it didn't do to dwell on them too much… "Well," he muttered to himself as he stowed his briefcase in a cabinet, the magic of the room guaranteeing that nobody would be able to open it but him. "I guess I'll just have to find out who my neighbors are the hard way, then."

He slid open the door to his room and floated out into the hallway in search of someone to talk to. The far wall was made up of windows looking out at the passing landscape, with comfortable-looking couches placed under them so people could sit and watch. The carpet was woven in a complex pattern with glyphs that made Briney's head hurt if he stared at them for too long, the wallpaper had a golden hue (Could it be actual gold? Anything was possible with magic), and the ceiling had been enchanted so passengers could look through it and see the skies overhead. Briney saw no reason they couldn't have just put a skylight in, it would have served the same function. Just another bit of extravagance to remind the passengers they were better than everyone else, he supposed.

The near wall of the corridor held the entrances to the passenger compartments, including Briney's own. There were three of them in all, with actual candelabras and magical paintings with moving pictures in them hanging on the walls between them. He looked back and forth between the two other rooms for a moment, and then arbitrarily picked the one on the left. Through the small window set in its top—which could be magically made opaque for privacy, of course—he saw a nervous-looking Rattata in spectacles and a necktie examining some documents he'd pulled out of an open suitcase. Briney knocked on the door, causing the Rattata to yelp and throw his documents all over the place. _High-strung little rodent,_ Briney thought to himself. _That can't be good for his blood pressure._

The Rattata frantically gathered up the papers, stuffed them in his suitcase, shut it, threw it in a cabinet, then scurried over to the door, sliding it open to peer furtively at Briney. "Wh-who is it?"

Briney forced a jovial smile. "Hullo, mate! My name's Professor Brindleworth, and I-"

"Go away," the Rattata said curtly, slamming the door shut. The window went dark a moment later, making it impossible to see into the room.

Briney stared at the door for a few moments, and then clenched his fists, trying not to lose his temper. _Nobody_ shut doors in Captain Briney's face… "Well, that was rude…" he growled. "Maybe my other neighbors will be a bit more personable?"

Grumbling to himself, he floated back down the hall and peered into the other room. Through the window, he could see a family of three, two adult Claydol and a Baltoy. The adults, a gold-hued male and a silver-hued female, looked like they were arguing about something while the Baltoy was playing with a toy train on the ground, using either his Psychic powers or magic to make it run across the floor. Briney hesitated for a moment, wondering if perhaps he should leave this no-doubt domestic squabble alone, but he didn't really relish going back to his room, and while he supposed he could check on the others, it could possibly blow their cover. After all, for all they knew, anyone on this train could be a Nihilator. That Rattata had seemed rather suspicious…but there wasn't really much he could do about it without his mind-reading abilities that wouldn't get him in trouble or possibly thrown off the train. Or cursed. One could never tell with these magic types. With a shrug, he decided to give it a shot and knocked on the door.

The Claydols started, glanced at each other, and then one of them, the silver female, floated over to the door. After peering at Briney through the window, she slid the door open a bit. "Yes?"

"Hullo, mum," Briney said cheerfully. "I'm in the room just next door and I thought I'd take a stroll and see what sorts of chaps I was sharing this car with. How do you do?"

"Very well, thank you, but we're sort of in the middle of something-" she said.

"Didn't look well from where I'm floating, mum. Looked like you and the mister were having a bit of a squabble," Briney said, his natural nosiness urging him to investigate.

The Claydol narrowed her eyes. "That is none of your business, sir. This is a family matter, and you can stay out of it, Mister…what did you say your name was?"

"I didn't. Professor Brindleworth of Pokémon University, at your service," he said, doing a small bow.

The Claydol's eyes widened in surprise. "Oh! A Professor, you say? I don't suppose…what is your field of study?"

"The history of magic, mum," Briney said.

The Claydol glanced at her male counterpart. "What a coincidence, that's just what we were talking about, wasn't it Goldor?"

The gold Claydol sighed. "Dear, must we really involve a third party in this?"

"If it'll settle this argument, then I don't see why not," the silver Claydol said, moving aside to let Briney into the room. "Do come in, Professor."

"Don't mind if I do," Briney said, floating into the room. The Baltoy playing with the train glanced up briefly, decided he was of little importance, and went back to his game. "So, what's all the ruckus, then?"

"I am the Lady Silvia, and this is my husband, Goldor, owner of the Goldorrington corporation. You know what they do, of course," Sylvia said dismissively.

"Of course," Briney said, knowing no such thing.

"Anyway, we're going to Fichina for a family vacation and to visit little Buck's grandparents," Silvia said, gesturing to the Baltoy, who did not acknowledge her. "Goldor and I were trying to decide which areas we should visit while we're in the country. Buck's education is one of the most important factors to consider, naturally, so we want to take him to places with the greatest historical significance. However…"

"However?" Briney prompted.

"However, we can't agree on which places _have_ the greatest significance," Goldor said with a sigh. "I would love to see the places where some of the world's greatest wizarding wars and duels were fought…you know, Chimera Hill, the Field of Gal'veris, the Upside-down Forest, Crisscross Keep, the ruins of the Yukihimi estate where the accursed Bellum and Fantina Fantasma clashed for the first time, and so on. They have excellent reenactments and recreations of the legendary battles that took place there I wouldn't mind getting a look at. Silvia, on the other hand, is more interested in going to more mundane places, such as the place where the Treaty of Kel'thulk'lk'op'fuh was signed, the workshop where the first crystal ball was invented, the courtroom where the ban against experimentation on magical creatures was passed, the first Fantasmagoria outlet Fantina opened…you know, dull things like that."

"There's nothing dull about any of those places!" Silvia huffed.

"If there's no explosions, it sounds pretty dull to me," Buck said from the floor.

"I have to agree with the boy," Goldor said.

Silvia huffed. "Well, I never! In any event, Professor, you can see the impasse we are at. Which would you recommend? The sites where some battles took place so long ago that very few people remember or even care about-"

"Hey!" Goldor snapped.

"Or places where _real_ history took place? Politics, law, innovations that revolutionized magic and define the world we live in now?" Silvia finished.

Privately, Briney agreed with Goldor and Buck, explosions _did_ sound more interesting. However, he didn't think Silvia would be very well inclined towards him in the future if he said something like that, so for the sake of preserving his cover he knew he had to come up with something else. _Good thing Leo speed-read all those history books using his sunglasses then let me extract the information from his brain._ "Well now, that is a bit of a sticky wicket, isn't it? All of those sites are well renowned and worth going to. However, there are a few other places I would recommend you seem to have left out."

That got both Claydols' attention. "Really? Such as?" Goldor asked.

Briney grinned to himself. "Well, just off the top of my head…"

As he spoke his mind, lecturing on the history and prestige of Fichina and the many sights worth seeing there, the couple paid more and more attention to him, hanging on his every word and forgetting their prior argument as the Metang laid out an itinerary that would help them get the most out of their visit. Even Buck stopped playing with his train so he could pay attention to Briney's discourse. Briney was surprised to find he was enjoying himself, something that usually only happened when he was snooping in people's brains or punching some punk's face in. _Maybe this 'historian' bit isn't so bad after all,_ he admitted to himself. _The accent still makes me sound like a sissy, though…_

Meanwhile, in the next car, Tiny was looking out the window of his and Ash's room in wonder. "Woooow…this is so cool!"

"Yeah," Ash agreed. "Not too shabby, huh?"

"Have you ever been on a train like this before, Daddy?" Tiny asked.

Ash frowned, probing his hole-filled memory for an answer to that question. "I think I've been on a few," he said uncertainly after a moment. "But they weren't as nice as this one. And one of them was powered completely by an Ampharos."

Tiny frowned. "They forced an Ampharos to generate enough energy to run something as big as this? That's not very nice."

"…Huh. Yeah, I guess it's not," Ash admitted, surprised that he'd never really questioned it before now. "Come to think of it, we used Electric Pokémon to power a lot of things back then…I wonder how they felt about that."

"Well, you'll never know now," Tiny said, unbothered. "So…what do we do now? Should we try and find that Fantina lady?"

Ash shook his head. "No, we're letting Leo and Lily have the first shot at her. What with the threat posed to her and her guests by Bellum and the Nihilators, she's managed to get a whole car to herself and those traveling with her, and the security around it is pretty tight. That means it's unlikely she can be approached by a history professor, a disgraced samurai, or a couple of traveling monks like us…but Leo and Lily, as priests trying to promote a good cause, may have the best chance of getting in to see her. Fantina's a big philanthropist, so something like making the world a nicer and more beautiful place should at least give them a minute or two with her to speak their piece."

"Oh," Tiny said. "But wouldn't it be easier if we just went and told her we're friends who want to help her beat the Nihilators?"

"They might not believe us and think we're bad guys trying to trick Fantina into letting her guard down or mooch off of her or something," Ash said. "Bottom line, this is supposed to be a stealthy mission—for now, at least—which means the fewer people who know who we are and what we're really about, the better. We don't want to make the Nihilators realize the Star Badge is in Fichina and cause a war, now do we?"

Tiny shook his head. "Nuh-uh. That'd be bad, right?"

Ash nodded in agreement. "Very."

"Well, what should we do, then?" Tiny asked.

"Until we hear back from Leo and Lily, try to blend in and keep our heads down. Which means we need to go see who else is riding in the car with us," Ash said.

Tiny blinked. "What does that have to do with keeping our heads down?"

"We can't blend in if we don't know who we're blending with, can we?" Ash pointed out reasonably. Tiny had to admit that Ash had a point.

"So, we're going to knock on doors or something?" Tiny asked.

"Eventually. First I want to do an Aura scan to see what kind of people are riding with us on this train…whether they're good or bad, trustworthy and untrustworthy…and whether or not they're Nihilators," Ash said darkly.

"Okay," Tiny said. He and Ash closed their eyes…

And were enveloped in the world of Aura. Brilliant lights and colors were all around them, the magic contained in just about every nut and bolt of the Enchanted Express registering brightly to their senses. But brighter still were the people riding the train, the living (or undead) Pokémon who were either passengers or responsible for keeping the train running. They could see the Auras of their friends, in the cars ahead of and behind them. They could see the Auras of the various magicians and staff in the engine car, kitchen, storeroom, and the cabins on either side of them, and while some of them felt less than friendly or even downright wicked, none of them had the telltale black Aura of a Shadow Pokémon. They saw a beautiful blaze of Aura radiating warmth and kindness that they concluded had to belong to Fantina, and a complementing dark (not pitch-black or evil, just dark) Aura nearby that they attributed to the vampires she was escorting.

And that's not all they saw, too…

They gasped, eyes flying open. "Was that-" Ash started.

"Did you see what I saw?" Tiny cried.

"There's someone else on this train that can use Aura, and they're right next door!" they said at once.

They glanced surreptitiously at the far wall, wondering just whom was on the other side of it. They'd spotted a number of Auras, including one that signified an Aura-user like them, in the room next to them. The ambient magical energy made it difficult for them to pick out shapes, but they knew enough about color and feel to identify the nature and orientation of an individual when they saw it, including whether or not that other person could manipulate the power of Aura, which this one most certainly could. "Should we go look?" Tiny asked.

"We might as well," Ash said, standing up. "Whoever they are, they've probably spotted us too, so we should introduce ourselves. It's only polite."

"Can they be trusted, though?" Tiny asked doubtfully.

"Their Aura didn't feel evil. And besides, we don't have to tell them the truth to make friends with them," Ash said. While he wasn't fond of lying, he knew it was necessary for the time being. The people next door weren't Nihilators or associated with them or any other villains, but as he had said before, the fewer who knew the truth, the better. Accepting this, Tiny followed Ash out of the room and into the hallway.

They entered the corridor at the same time as the door to the room next door slid open and, much to their amazement, another Lucario stepped out! Only the fact that he was Shiny kept him from looking exactly like Ash. Well, that and the fact that he wasn't wearing robes, or carrying a staff, or…oh, you get the point. "Huh," he said when Ash gawked at him in disbelief. "I guess we saw each other at the same time, huh?"

"You…you're a Lucario!" Ash stammered in amazement.

"Last time I checked, yeah. And so are you," the other Lucario pointed out.

"Well, yeah, but…I mean, this is incredible! You're the first Lucario other than myself I've ever met in person! My mentor back home doesn't quite count, since we've only talked over the Internet up to now," Ash said.

The other Lucario sighed and nodded sadly. "Yeah, we seem to be a dying breed…you aren't the first other Lucario I've ever met, but it feels like it's been a really long time since I last saw a face like mine."

"You're one of a kind back where you come from, too?" Ash asked in disappointment.

The other Lucario shook his head. "No, but other than my parents, I'm pretty much the only Lucario in Frodomar City. Sounds like you didn't even have that luxury…"

"Not exactly," Ash said. "Until my long-distance mentor returned after a decade-long hiatus, I was the only Lucario back in Po—er, Pohatu Monastery."

"That must have sucked," the other Lucario said sympathetically. "At least you had the other monks to teach you about focusing chi and all that stuff so you still learned how to use Aura, right?"

"Yeah, pretty much," Ash said.

"Oh, but where are my manners? My name's Ritchie. Ritchie Getem," the other Lucario said. "And you?"

_Ritchie? Why does that sound familiar?_ "I'm Hiori," Ash said, managing to remember not to give his true name out at the last second.

Ritchie frowned. "Hiori? Huh. You don't look like a Hiori."

"It's not my real name," Ash said honestly.

"Ohhh, this is one of those monastic things?" Ritchie guessed.

"Yeah, let's go with that," Ash said.

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Ash," Ritchie said, extending a paw.

"You too, Ritchie," Ash said, taking it…and starting as a surge of memories rushed through his head. He saw himself laughing and hanging out with a brown-haired boy who looked eerily like him, staring at the night sky, battling each other in front of millions of people only for their match to end rather in a rather humiliating and utterly ridiculous defeat, teaming up to save some Lugia from Team Rocket, and…

And that was it. That was pretty much all the history they had together. Ash couldn't help feeling rather disappointed, for some reason he thought they should have had more adventures together than that. Oh well, maybe they'd go on an adventure now? Ritchie blinked and withdrew his paw, looking dazed. "Whoa…hey, is it just me, or have we met before? Something about you seems…familiar…"

"It's probably because we can both use Aura or something like that," Ash lied reluctantly.

"Oh. Yeah, I guess that would explain it," Ritchie said. "So weird that we'd run into each other like this, two Lucario on the same train to Fichina…it must be fate or something!"

"Could be," Ash agreed, wondering if Ritchie might be right. How weird that they'd have a reunion like this, after so many years…except Ritchie had no idea who he was, and it'd probably have to stay that way…Ash hid the twinge of guilt this caused in him, though Tiny felt it anyway, just as he had felt all of Ash's other feelings at running into another reincarnation of a friend. Knowing he wasn't supposed to speak, he sent silent encouragement through their bond, to which Ash responded with profound gratitude.

Ritchie frowned, the sensory organs on the back of his head twitching as they faintly detected whatever was passing between Ash and Tiny, although he wasn't sure what it meant. "Anyway…what are you doing here? And who's the kid? He shy or something? He hasn't said a word at all...come on little guy, I'm nothing to be scared of."

"He's taken a vow of silence," Ash explained before Tiny could forget himself and speak up. "He will not utter a word until we fulfill our mission."

"Oh, another monastic thing…got it," Ritchie said. "And what _is_ your mission?"

"My order dispatched me to find the 'Chosen One,' a being we believe will one day save the world from destruction," Ash said. "I believe that Rico here is the One spoken of in prophecy. We go to Fichina to awaken his dormant powers so he may fulfill his destiny."

"I see," Ritchie said. "And that power…it's Aura, isn't it? I could sense it in him."

Ash nodded. "He has great potential…and the intense magical field of Fichina should help us to unleash it, as well as everything else he is capable of, so that he can evolve into his full power and save the world."

"An Aura-using Tyranitar…well, that's something I certainly wouldn't like to fight," Ritchie commented. "The 'Chosen One,' huh? Funny, my parents said a Pokémon like that would appear one day too…but they were pretty sure he'd be a Lucario."

Ash and Tiny tensed. "Well, you know…lots of people have prophecies of a savior," Ash said quickly. "There must have been tons of Chosen Ones at one point or another. Huh, more like the Chosen Many, right?"

"Yeah, true enough," Ritchie admitted.

"So, why are you going to Fichina?" Ash asked.

Ritchie smirked. "Well, I don't mean to brag, but…my friends and I are on a mission to save the world, too!"

Ash's ears perked up at this. "Oh?"

Ritchie nodded. "Yep! See, there's this crazy religious sect of Arceans called 'Judgment' who want to destroy all evil and darkness in the world by force. Their leader, Light of Justice, is looking for seventeen plates corresponding to Arceus's seventeen divine Plates that he believes will give him the power of God so that he can bathe the world in light and purge all the sin and impurity in people's hearts, no matter how many die in the process. Me and the rest of Team Getem are racing to gather the last few plates before he can, and the next one's in Fichina, according to a magical map my girlfriend was able to mail to me before she was kidnapped by Judgment, who think they need to sacrifice her to unlock the power of the plates…which is kind of stupid if you ask me, since Arceus doesn't accept Pokémon sacrifices, but try telling that to these extremist types, right?"

Ash and Tiny blinked, feeling a very weird sense of déjà vu. "Er…right…"

"Anyway, would you like to meet the rest of the team? It took a lot of effort, but we managed to score ourselves both of the other rooms on this car by reuniting a softy mob boss with his daughter, who'd eloped with one of his enforcers," Ritchie said. As a bewildered Ash and Tiny processed this, Ritchie shouted, "Hey guys, they're cool! Come out and say hello to our new friends!" The doors on either side of Ash and Tiny's room slid open and seven Pokémon filed out. The fake monks stared at them in horror and confusion, feeling an even more profound sense of déjà vu and growing madness.

Ritchie pointed to Ash and Tiny. "Guys, these are Hiori and Rico, two monks heading to Fichina to save the world. Just like us, but not on quite as cool an adventure. Hiori and Rico, this is my posse, Team Getem!" Ritchie gestured to a Pikachu wearing a suit of Ameroupean armor with a broadsword sheathed at his side and a scruff of fur on top of his head. "This is my best friend and second-in-command, Sparky DeLux. He can be a little stiff and stuck-up at times, but that's on account of his training to be a knight to continue the family tradition of upholding honor and chivalry throughout the land."

Sparky bowed, armor clanking as he bent over. "A pleasure to meet you, gentlemons."

"Um, that sword of yours wouldn't happen to be a family heirloom that possesses magical powers, would it?" Ash asked.

Sparky blinked. "Why yes, how did you know?"

"Oh…lucky guess…" Ash said faintly.

Ritchie gestured to a Charmeleon wearing sunglasses and a rather gaudily-colored T-shirt. "This is Zippo. He's a bit of a slacker and talks funny, but he's a lot smarter than you'd think and a whiz at gadgetry and inane trivia. We recruited him after we saved his coastal town from a giant Sharpedo who held one of the plates and was keeping them from fishing or surfing."

"Until my mons Ritchie and Sparky here took out that uncool gitch so we could hang ten on the big waves again!" the Charmeleon said, sticking his thumbs up.

"…But…don't you _die_ if you fall into the water?" Ash asked.

"Not if you keep your balance just right, dude," Zippo said with a grin. "Do I _look_ like the kind of guy who'd wipe out?" Ash decided not to answer that.

"Meet Happy," Ritchie said as he pointed out a Butterfree. "She's an old friend of me and Sparky's who flew all the way from her home in the forests near Frodomar City when she heard we were in trouble and offered to join our team. She can be a little odd since she's not used to civilization as we know it, what with spending all her life in the wild and all, but for the most part she's a caring mother figure to all of us…when she's not thirsting for honey or pollen, that is."

"Hello," Happy said…happily. "It's nice to meet you. Do you have any honey or pollen on you, by any chance?"

"Uh, no," Ash said.

"Oh well," she said, wings and antenna drooping in disappointment.

"See what I mean?" Ritchie said in amusement. "Anyway, this," he said, indicating a Pupitar who looked almost exactly like Tiny, except he wasn't wearing orange robes. "Is Cruise. He may not be a Chosen One or under a vow of silence, but we like him all the same. We rescued him when he was just an egg from an ice cream salesmon who thought it would be a good idea to make ice cream out of eggs for some reason. He imprinted on me as his parent after he hatched and was initially antisocial and distrustful towards everyone else, but we were able to coax his heart open and help him learn to love life."

"Hi!" Cruise said to Tiny. "Is that blanket warm? It looks really snug on you. Daddy, can I have one like that?"

Ritchie chuckled. "Not unless you decided to spend the rest of your life in some mountaintop monastery, I'm afraid."

"Oh. Never mind then," Cruise said. Ash and Tiny exchanged stunned looks.

"Rose here," Ritchie said as a shy-looking Taillow wearing a black hooded robe with a gnarled staff clutched in her talons came forward. "Is one of our biggest success stories. She was originally one of our enemies, the daughter of a wicked druid who's one of Light of Justice's top lieutenants. We managed to convert her to our side after she helped save my life while trying to get the Spooky Plate, and now she helps us out with her magic. Also, she and Zippo are a couple as of our latest adventure. Nice, huh?"

"Totally!" Zippo said with a lewd grin.

Rose flushed at that. "Z-Zippo!"

"C'mon babe, you know you dig me!" the Charmeleon said with a wink. She giggled. Tiny shook in terror, and Ash's eye twitched.

"This is Captain Salty, the toughest Tentacool you'll probably ever meet," Ritchie said of a scarred Tentacool wearing an eyepatch and a sailor's hat. "We met him when we were looking for a boat to reach the island the Splash Plate was held on, and he decided to stick with us afterwards. His wife was killed by some of Judgment's goons years ago, and he's been looking to even the score ever since."

"I stung the bastards responsible for her murder to death, but I've still got lots of venom left in me…and I intend to take it out on Light of Justice!" Salty said.

"Um…good for you," Ash said faintly, trying not to pass out from shock.

"And finally, we have Lu," Ritchie said, pointing to a black-clad Eevee.

"Is she a ninja who's the last of her clan, save for her former friend who's now a member of Judgment, and is in a relationship with Sparky?" Ash asked deliriously.

Lu blinked. "What? No, don't be preposterous."

Ash sighed in relief. "Oh, good."

"I'm an _assassin_," Lu said.

"…Ah," Ash said blankly. Tiny's eyes turned into swirls.

"You were right about everything else, though. How'd you guess?" the Eevee asked.

"Yes, we were keeping our relationship a secret," Sparky said in surprise.

"Not really, all of us knew you two were together for a while now," Rose said.

Zippo nodded. "Totally, dude. It was mondo obvious."

"…Ah," Sparky said. He and Lu both blushed.

"Anyway, this is my team. My family. What do you think?" Ritchie asked Ash.

"They all seem very nice," Ash said. _And oddly familiar._ "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"So, wanna hang out with us? We can swap stories. I'm sure you must've been through quite an ordeal or two on your way to find Rico and save the world," Ritchie said.

"Probably not as gnarly as the things _we've_ done, though," Zippo said.

_If only you knew,_ Ash thought. _If only you knew. _"Sure, why not?" Ash said out loud. "It's not like we have anything better to do at the moment."

Ritchie burst into a grin. "Cool! Come on in, this should be fun!" He threw an arm around Ash's shoulder and guided him towards his room.

"Daddy?" Tiny whispered, staying very close to Ash's side and eyeing Cruise worriedly.

"Yes, Tiny?" Ash whispered back.

"I'm scared," Tiny said.

"Me too, Tiny. Me too," Ash said.

Pikachu was a little scared as well, but for a different reason. Sasha kept pacing around the room in circles like a caged animal—which she was, technically—agitated by their relatively close quarters and unable to lie still due to the feeling of being in constant motion, making Pikachu anxious the more he looked at her. She wasn't the only thing making Pikachu anxious, though…there was also the matter of Dawn clinging to his arm and nuzzling him affectionately. "You know, we're in private now," he told her awkwardly. "You don't need to keep doing that anymore."

She gave him a puzzled look. _You do not enjoy it, Master?_ She asked, tapping her fan against the wall.

He blushed. He did enjoy it, actually, more than he cared to admit. "I…it's just, I'm worried you're taking your role a little too…seriously."

Dawn shrugged. _I do not see it as being much different from my regular role, so it does not require much extra effort._

Pikachu started, pushing her off. "Wh-what? Is that…is that what you think you're supposed to be to me?"

Dawn frowned. _Master?_

"Is that what you think you are? A slut, a floozy for me to use to fulfill my…desires? I thought you had more self-respect than that! I thought we had…more of an understanding than that," Pikachu said in confusion. "You're my _friend,_ not my…my sex toy!"

Dawn rolled her eyes. _Master, a geisha is more than a common whore._

"She is a high-end whore, then?" Sasha asked.

Dawn glared at her. _She is a female companion and bodyguard. She may be used for sex, yes, but she is also there to stay by her master or client's side to protect him and make sure that he is not alone. That is how I interpret it, anyway, and I do not see it as being dissimilar to my duty as your vassal, except they do it for money and I do it out of loyalty._

"…Oh. Right," Pikachu said, flushing. "That's right, I…sorry. It's just…"

_Yes? _Dawn asked.

"Ever since that…that night, back on the ship, you've been acting different, and I…I'm confused," Pikachu admitted. "I don't really remember anything that happened, except that it felt…nice…and I know I should feel horribly guilty for basically using you that way after saying repeatedly that I wouldn't, but…from the way you're behaving, it's like you enjoyed it too, and I'm not sure I understand why."

_What is to understand?_ Dawn asked. _I have offered myself to you since I came into your service, and you have always turned me down. And then that night you finally took me up on my offer. I was able to please you and myself. Why should I not be elated?_

Pikachu was shocked. "But Dawn, I was…I was drunk! I wasn't in control of myself!"

_You certainly weren't,_ Dawn agreed. _That's why I had to practically guide you through the whole thing. But despite your inexperience, you were a very good lover, Master._

Pikachu turned even redder and Sasha stifled an uncharacteristic snicker. "That's…that isn't what I…" He sighed and tried to start again. "Dawn, what I mean is…why did you sleep with me?"

_Because you asked me to,_ Dawn said.

Pikachu grimaced at this. "I-I did? Oh, crud…And why did you accept? Because…because you _wanted_ it, or because you saw it as an order?"

_You are assuming there is a difference. The two are not mutually exclusive,_ Dawn said.

Pikachu blinked. "Aren't they?"

Dawn sighed and shook her head. _Poor confused Master._ She patted the seat next to her, and a bewildered Pikachu sat down. D_o you remember why I became your vassal?_

"Because you told me that if I didn't let you, you'd kill yourself?" Pikachu recalled.

_Aside from that. It was because you defeated me and spared my life, despite my…well, not quite asking so much as implying that you kill me,_ Dawn said.

"Well, of course. You were an innocent victim, and…something like a friend, even back then," Pikachu said. "I would never have killed you. I felt bad about hurting you, but I knew there was no other way to snap you out of it or keep you from hurting the others."

Dawn nodded triumphantly. _And that is why I desired to bed you._

Pikachu blinked. "Huh?"

_Master, few other warriors would have saved me out of such altruistic reasons. Or at least, few of the warriors I have encountered before meeting you,_ she added before Pikachu could protest. _They may have defeated me and let me live, but not out of kindness or mercy, but because they wished to dominate me, to make me their own, and by my honor I would have had little choice but to comply. But you, Master…_ She shook her head. _Before I ran into you and the others, I had spent so much time in the dark corners of the world that I had begun to forget that the light existed, that there really were decent people out there. But…when you and the others helped me at the castle near Turtle Town, when you tried to bond with me in the Mystifying Woods…it helped me to remember who I had been before, and that Pokémon like you or Ash existed. And when you saved me from myself…when you spared me out of friendship, not just because it would go against your honor but because you genuinely cared for me and wanted to help me, I knew you were the best master I could possibly have. And when you tried to refuse me, when you turned down my advances so many times not because you thought I was repulsive or because you were disinterested but because you were concerned only for my own feelings…it was then that I knew my heart could never belong to any mon but you._

Pikachu stared at her, stunned. "Dawn, I…are you saying that…that you…"

_Is it really such a surprise? You have known I have been attracted to you for quite some time now. And the others certainly seem to have teased you enough about it,_ Dawn said.

"But, but Dawn, I don't…I don't know if I feel that way!" Pikachu protested. "I'm not…I'm not worthy, especially if I took advantage of you after getting drunk and-"

_I offered myself,_ Dawn pointed out.

"And I accepted, because I was so off my kilter from alcohol that I didn't know what I was doing!" he snapped. "Which is why I don't drink, because people do stupid things when they do, and lose their inhibitions, and…and…"

She shook her head. _That is not what happened._

He blinked. "What? It's not? But…but then…what _did_ happen?"

_You truly do not remember?_ She asked.

"Not at all," Pikachu said. "It's all kind of a blur."

_We had just finished the first dance and you were on your second drink…and already slurring and having trouble walking in a straight line. You really can't handle your liquor, can you?_ She asked sympathetically. _I asked if you wanted to go 'celebrate' our victory over the Nihilators somewhere more private. Even in your inebriated state, you still had enough control over yourself to turn me down…but you'd lost enough control to admit why. You told me that if circumstances were otherwise and I was not indebted to you, you would have loved to, because you liked me a lot and I was one of the most fascinating womon you'd ever met. You told me that the main reason you've turned me down so many times in the past and were dubious about your mother's plans for marrying us was because you were still so hung up on my being your 'slave' or something foolish like that that you would never touch me, for fear that in doing so you were taking advantage of me, as I had allowed myself to be taken advantage of many times in the past. You believed that after the hard life I've had, I deserved more than that…and maybe a little because you wanted to prove everyone who's been teasing you about us wrong, even though deep down you suspected that they were right, just as you are right in believing Ash is in denial regarding whatever feelings he has for this 'Misty.'_

Pikachu blinked, staring at her in amazement. "And…what…what did you say?"

_I told you what I'm telling you now: that because you felt that way, because you were so considerate of my feelings that you would deny your own, even though you _knew_ if you demanded it I would give myself to you in a heartbeat, that my devotion to you goes beyond honor or duty or tradition. That I serve you because I choose to, and the only reason I would be offering myself is because I wanted it, not because I felt obligated to. If you ordered me to do it, I would have obeyed out of duty. If you _asked_ me, though, as you did after I told you this before, and only after making absolutely sure it was what I really wanted and I wasn't just saying it because I thought it would make you happy…I would have done it out of love, just as I did that night._ She smiled._ And _what_ a night it was…_

"….I…wow," Pikachu said after a long moment, stunned. "I…I don't…I don't know what to say…"

_You do not need to say anything, Master,_ Dawn said. _I know how you feel, and I know how I feel, and that is good enough for-_ She paused and glanced at the window set in their door. _What the…no, it can't be…_

"Dawn?" Pikachu asked in confusion.

Dawn rose from her seat. _Wait here. There is something I need to check._

"What? Are we in danger?" Pikachu asked in alarm, reaching for his sword.

Sasha frowned. "I do not sense any trouble…"

_It is nothing for you to worry about,_ Dawn said. _Just…something I need to take care of. Do not concern yourself. I will be back shortly._

"Dawn, wait!" Pikachu protested too late as the ninja slipped out of the room. "Arceusdammit. Should I…"

"She should be fine," Sasha said, unbothered. "I do not sense any danger. There is nothing for you to worry about. Let her handle this on her own."

Pikachu sighed and sat back down. "I guess so…"

"So, now that you know the truth of what lies between you…what will you do about it?" Sasha asked.

"I…honestly don't know," Pikachu said. "If anything, I'm even more confused now."

"Hmm. I think you should mate with her again," Sasha said.

Pikachu blanched. "Wh-what?"

"It's what I do when my mate gets confused," Sasha said. "It usually makes him deliriously happy long enough for him to forget about it."

Pikachu groaned and put his face in his hands. "Sasha…"

Sasha shook her head. "Leo and Ash are right, you are such a 'prune.'"

"You mean prude," he said through his paws.

"Yes, that," Sasha said, a faint look of amusement on her face. "Perhaps if you mate some more with Dawn, you will-"

"I get the idea," Pikachu snapped. "Mating's the answer to all life's problems, is it?"

Sasha shrugged. "It is in my experience." Pikachu groaned.

Out in the hallway…

_Master Palmer!_ Dawn clicked as she raced after a Dragonite in wizard's robes about to enter his room.

The Dragonite paused and glanced at Dawn. "I beg your pardon?"

_Master Palmer, it's me, Dawn Hikari! What are you doing here? I thought you were dead!_ Dawn clicked.

The Dragonite gave her a puzzled look. "I'm sorry little one, but I have no idea what you're doing. If you have something to say, could you speak it clearly?"

Dawn gave him an annoyed look. _Master Palmer, I know it's you. You can drop the act. I don't know what you're doing here or how you survived, but we need to-_

"I'm sorry, but if you're going to just tap that thing at me, I'm afraid I have to be going," the Dragonite said, getting annoyed. "I have more important business to attend to, and-"

_Master Palmer, your son is dead,_ Dawn said.

The Dragonite stiffened. "…What was that?"

_Barry is dead. Paul killed him and everyone else…except me. I'm all that's left of the Dragon's Claw clan…except, apparently, for you,_ Dawn said.

For a long moment, the Dragonite said nothing. Finally, he turned back to Dawn, a steely look in his eyes. "Come in," he said, opening his door. "Tell me _everything._"

Back in their room…

"Maybe I should go after her," Pikachu said, rising from his seat for the dozenth time.

"Sit down, she'll be fine," Sasha said for the dozenth time. Pikachu sighed and did just that. "You're worrying yourself for nothing. If something bad were going to happen, I would-" She gasped.

Pikachu looked at her in alarm. "What? What is it?"

"It…it's not _danger_ per se, but something's coming…something familiar…something _unpleasant_," Sasha whispered in dismay.

As if on cue, there was a knock on the door. Exchanging worried looks, Pikachu reached for his sword and slowly headed for the entrance, a tense Sasha on his heels. He tried to peer through the window, but it was too high up for him; thankfully Sasha gave him a boost with her head so he could take a look. He gasped in horror when he saw what was on the other side, stumbling back and falling off the Absol to the floor. "No…no, not them…not again…not _again!_"

"What? Who is it?" Sasha asked in alarm.

The door slid open, revealing…

"Hey neighbor, can we borrow a cup of sugar?" Sam the not-Lucario asked, peering into the room. "If Max doesn't get a fresh dosage of sucrose, lactose, and fructose every couple of hours, he goes into a semi-comatose fugue and starts singing bluegrass songs at the top of his lungs." He frowned. "Say, have we met before? You look familiar…"

"Hey look, Sam! It's that electric rat with the sword up his rear from before!" Max the not-Buneary said, poking his head around his friend to see who Sam was talking to. "And that sexy chick who's the same color as me that I'm not supposed to be interested in because I'm not into women despite being married with several children."

"Why, so it is!" Sam realized. "What an amazing coincidence that we should happen to be riding the same train to the same destination in the same car, with our rooms literally right next to each other!"

"I know, right? That'll make it much easier to have a sleepover!" Max agreed. "I call the bed. The chick can take the couch, Sam can sleep at my feet, and the rat can go under the bed where he belongs."

Pikachu and Sasha stared at Sam and Max in dull horror. "It's even worse than I feared," Sasha murmured finally.

Pikachu groaned. "And I dared to hope we'd seen the last of them, too…"

Max took out his gun and pointed it in Pikachu's face. "Okay rodent, speak up! Where'd you stash the cheese you stole?"

"Max, we don't have any cheese," Sam said.

"Exactly, because he took it all!" Max said reasonably, causing Pikachu to facepalm.

"I should have gone with Dawn after all," the samurai groaned.

"Yes," Sasha said apologetically. "You should have."

Meanwhile, in the next car over…

"Wow," Lily said in wonder as she stared out the window at the passing scenery. "Isn't this just beautiful, Leo?"

"Yeah…I had no idea all these channels existed!" Leo, who was watching the wall-mounted crystal ball, said as he eagerly tapped the control rune to flip through the channels, colorful images and magical glyphs flashing through the orb faster than most people's eyes could see. However, Leo, as a skilled channel surfer, had no problem making them out. "I've gotta find a way to upgrade my sunglasses to get these shows! To think that they've been out there all this time and I never knew!" Abruptly, the crystal went dark as Lily hit the power rune. "Hey, I was watching that!"

"Leo, shouldn't we be going to meet Fantina, not watching the crystal ball?" Lily asked.

Leo sighed. "Yeah, I suppose…all right, I guess I can watch TV later. Or is it CV? CBV? Eh, whatever." He grabbed his wimple from where he'd dumped it on the floor, put it on, straightened his robes, and applied some more perfume. "How do I look?"

"Er…sufficient," Lily said, deciding it would be best not to say what she really thought about his appearance. "Let's go."

They left the room and approached the door leading to Fantina's car. Leo frowned, noticing that it was shimmering and there were numerous glowing runes set into its frame. "Great, it's magically sealed, isn't it?"

"Actually, no," Lily said after examining the door for a moment. "These are intent-detection spells. They scan you as you pass through and judge whether you have hostile intentions or not, and let you proceed if you mean no harm."

"Really? I was expecting stronger security than that," Leo said in surprise.

"It seems like strong security to me," Lily said. "This way no assassin could enter the car, because the door would sense their intentions and keep them out."

"Oh…I guess that's true," Leo admitted. "But wouldn't it have been safer still just to key it so that it would only allow specific Pokémon or staff to go through, so no trespassers could enter the car at all?"

"Those kinds of spells can always be tricked by Confusion-inflicting spells or shapeshifting," Lily explained. "While admittedly this form of protection allows more people to go through, the only ones who could are those who have no ill intent towards whoever's in the car, so there's no reason to keep them out."

"…Huh. I guess that makes sense," Leo murmured. "And it's convenient for us, I guess."

"Not to mention they save the _really_ strong spells for the rooms the passengers are staying in," Lily said. "And there'll probably be a few guards."

"Ah. That's a bit more like it," Leo said. "Has to be some ways to keep the crazy fans and vampirophiles away, right?"

"And so Fantina won't constantly be mobbed by all the petitioners who want some of her time," Lily said.

A worried look crossed Leo's face. "Oh…then…will we have problems seeing her?"

"…I really don't know," Lily admitted. "I guess we'll just have to give it a shot, and if that fails, let one of the others give it a try."

"And if _that_ fails, I suppose we could drop the stealth thing and try to be straight about what we're up to with whoever's guarding her door," Leo said reluctantly. "Though I'm not sure if that'll work or be good for us in the long run. After all, we're trying to keep a low profile, and the sudden appearance of eight new witnesses for the big anti-Nihilator hearing isn't really doing that."

"And standing in the hallway talking is?" Lily asked.

Leo chuckled. "Heh, good point. All right, Sister Lilandra, les' go t'see the Duchess!"

Lily smiled. "Right after you, Mother Leonora."

They slid open the door and crossed to the next car. They felt a tingle across their skin as the spells in the doorway washed over them, judging their intent. They hesitated on Leo for a moment, debating whether or not the myriad objects in his shell counted as a threat, but since they couldn't detect any inclination to use any of them in the near future they decided he was probably harmless…but sent a signal to the other security spells to keep an eye on him, just in case. Since all of this transpired in less than a second, Leo and Lily were completely unaware of this as they were granted passage to Fantina's car.

The car's interior looked much like the one they had just come from, but even more lavish if that was possible, since this was where the high-rollers and VIPS usually stayed. Two of the doors leading to passenger quarters were shimmering with a very powerful-looking force field covering them, and the third had several other spells layered over it as well as a uniformed Dusclops and a Kirlia in a maid's outfit standing on either side. The Dusclops stared at them with a bloodshot suspicious eye. "If you wish to get the Mistress's autograph, you can wait until dinner. She will be feasting in the dining car with the other passengers…much to my disapproval…"

The Kirlia shrugged. "Well, she's a people Pokémon. She doesn't like being cooped up in one place away from everyone else very much…even if it would be safer…"

"We aren't here for autographs," Lily said.

"Actually-" Leo started, until Lily shot a glare at him. He coughed. "I mean, thas' right, we got other business ta attend to."

"If you want the vampires' autographs, you can't get those either," the Dusclops said.

"Or give them any of your blood, or ask to be their minions, or for them to convert you into one of them," the Kirlia added with a tone that implied people had been coming in to ask her about that all day. "They're sleeping, and are not to be disturbed."

"Ooh, in coffins?" Leo asked.

"No, in beds, like civilized Pokémon," the Ducslops said with a sniff.

"With the curtains drawn, and the windows opaqued," the Kirlia said.

"Oh," Leo said in disappointment.

"We aren't here to see the vampires, either," Lily said. Before Leo could open his mouth, she added, "We were hoping to speak to the Duchess regarding an important matter."

"No petitioners," the Dusclops said in a bored tone.

The Kirlia nodded in agreement. "She's had enough of those for the day, too."

Leo hesitated. "Er, not even some sweet ol' Sisters who just wanna grow some flowers?"

"It's for a good cause," Lily said helpfully.

"They _always_ are," the Dusclops said, unimpressed.

"Then again, flowers are rather innocuous…" the Kirlia murmured. "Should I…"

"No, the Duchess said no more petitioners, and that's final," the Dusclops said.

"Well, then it's a good thing we ain't petitioners, right Sister Lilandra? "Leo said loudly.

Lily blinked. "Huh? Oh, uh, that's right, Mother Leonora. We're…um…"

"Gift-bearers!" Leo held out the basket of Gracidea flowers. "A whole basket of big bloomin' Gracidea flowers, ta show our thanks for Duchess Fantina's recent and most generous donation from everyone back at the Sisterhood of the Bountiful Gracidea!"

The Duclops glanced at the Kirlia. "Did the Mistress make a donation to the Sisterhood of the Bountiful Gracidea recently? She does that sort of thing so often it's hard to keep track of all the charities she contributes to."

The Kirlia frowned. "Let me check. Keep your eye on them, Butler."

"Of course," the Dusclops said as the Kirlia touched the door, causing the various spells on it to shimmer and dissipate. The door slid open, allowing the maid entry, then closed behind her, the spells reactivating to secure the portal. The Dusclops settled down to stare imposingly at them, causing Leo and Lily to fidget as the Beckon Pokémon fixed its eerie unflinching gaze on them.

"So…your name is Butler? You've got tha same name as your job, hun? That's kinda unusual, ain't it?" Leo asked awkwardly to break the silence.

"Actually, the job is named after me," Butler said. "Or rather, my family. The Butlers were the very first Pokémon to serve as monservants to the most wealthy and powerful individuals in the world. We defined our jobs through countless years of faithful and efficient service and unswerving loyalty to the point that eventually the roles we performed were named after us. Now whenever you see someone who claims to be a butler, they are indirectly paying homage to us, the origin of that title."

"Whoa. Cool," said an impressed Leo.

"And is your counterpart called Maid, from a family whose name wound up defining _their_ job, too?" Lily asked.

"No, her name's Diane," Butler said.

The spells on the door dissipated and the Kirlia in question stepped back out, the enchantments reenergizing once she was back in the corridor. "The Mistress is fairly certain she already received a basket of Gracideas from the Sisterhood just last week, but her daughters are rather partial to the flowers, so she will accept your gift. I advised against it, but she seems determined to receive them in person rather than by proxy." Diane sighed. "The Mistress seems to have a habit of making our duty of protecting her more difficult than it needs to be…"

"We get to meet the Duchess in person, then?" Lily asked, both excited that their plan was working…and worried about what would happen when she met her mother's nemesis face-to-face.

"Yes," Diane said, the look on her face suggesting she wished otherwise. "However, the Mistress is a very busy womon, so I will accompany you to make sure you do not waste too much of her or the Lady Bow's time. If you try to pull something funny or—heaven forbid—ask either of them for an autograph or their ectoplasmic tendril in marriage, I will not hesitate to remove you from the room by force. Is that clear?"

"As crystal, hun," Leo assured her.

"We promise not to make a ruckus," Lily said, although privately she wondered if they would be able to fulfill that oath. "And you don't have to worry about us making marriage proposals, both of us are female." Leo blushed but said nothing at this.

"That hasn't exactly stopped anyone in the past," Valerie said flatly. "Very well. Come with me." Once again, the Kirlia dispelled the barrier, but this time she held the door open long enough for Leo and Lily to follow her inside.

Leo was immediately envious. He'd thought their own room was nice, but Fantina's was absolutely palatial, at least the size of the first floor of his house back in Turtle Town, with magnificent statues and paintings that seemed to move (and probably did) as he looked at them, wallpaper of a rippling pattern of interwoven magical signs that made him feel sleepy as he looked at them, a chandelier, a marble fountain, a massive canopy bed with beautiful privacy curtains, a crystal ball big enough for a person to fit in, a _hot tub…_ _Dude, how come she gets all the cool stuff?_ Leo complained. _Well…other than being one of the richest and most powerful sorceresses in the world, that is…_

There were two Ghosts occupying the room. One was an extremely pretty Drifloon with a pair of bows on either side of her head with bells dangling from them, and the other was a very beautiful gold-skinned Mismagius. The heads of the noble spirits turned as Leo and Lily approached, Diane curtsying and making introductions. "Miladies Bow and Duchess Fantina, I am pleased to present…er, what were your names again?"

"Mother Leonora and Sister Lilandra of the Sisterhood of the Bountiful Gracidea, sugah, and we're plumb happy to meet you!" Leo said exuberantly. He lifted the basket. "And we brought you gifts…some lovely flowers for a pair of lovely ladies!"

"Oooh, Gracideas! My favorite! _Merci, dames!_" Bow said as she rose from her seat by the great crystal ball and floated over, eagerly picking some of the flowers from the basket and sniffing them. "Ahhhh…_tres magnifique!_"

"We're very glad you like them," Lily said.

"As am I!" Bow chirped happily.

"_Merci. _Zank you very much for ze flowers," Fantina said graciously as she floated over to them from the windows on the far side of the room, the beautiful landscape rushing by as the train thundered across the plains. "Is zere anyzing I can do for you in return?"

"Mistress!" Diane said in alarm.

"_Detendez,_ Diane. Zey deserve a little somezing for making my daughter smile," Fantina said as Bow happily wove the flowers into a circlet to wear on her head.

"It's funny you mentioned that, Your Grace, because there _was_ a little somethin' we were hopin' we could talk to you about-" Leo started.

Fantina stiffened, focusing her gaze on Lily and causing the Misdreavus to flinch back in alarm. "Wait. Somezing…somezing is not right 'ere…somezing about you seems…familiar…" She gasped, eyes widening in alarm. "Bellum!"

Diane stiffened and Bow started and dropped her flowers. "Oh crap," Leo groaned.

"W-wait, it's not what you-" Lily started, only to be cut off when Fantina's eyes flashed and a tremendous wave of force knocked her and Leo into the air, slamming them into the walls and pinning them in place.

"Do not lie to me! I can smell 'er magic on you…Bellum's taint!" Fantina snarled angrily, flames bursting into life around her and giving her the appearance of a terrifying wraith as Diane and Bow scurried to get to a safe distance. "I don't know 'ow you managed to fool ze defense spells, but whatever Bellum offered you will not be enough to save you from my wrath for daring to try and 'urt my daughter and I!"

"W-wait! It's not like that! We have nothing to do with Bellum!" Leo protested.

"_Non? _Zen tell me why I can sense her magic! Answer me! Who are you, really? Because I 'ighly doubt zat you are really members of ze Sisterhood!" Fantina yelled.

"Actually, we both are, and I have the online certificate to prove it," Leo said, rummaging in his shell and pulling out a piece of paper. "See? Says so right here."

Fantina ignored him. "Well? Who are you?" she demanded of Lily, flames engulfing her and turning her lovely countenance into a demonic visage.

"L-Lily!" Lily cried, so terrified that she was on the verge of tears.

Fantina hesitated. "_Que?_ Lily? Lily Yuki'imi?"

"Y-y-yes!" Lily stammered in fright.

The flames diminished, causing her to look normal again. "Lily Yuki'imi…as in, ze daughter of my worst enemy, Bellum, ze evilest witch alive or dead?"

Lily swallowed and nodded, expecting something horrible to happen to her at any moment. She _knew _this had been a bad idea. "Yes."

"Ze daughter who recently managed to escape from Bellum's clutches and find safety in ze ranks of a group of 'eroes opposed to 'er and ze evil she works for?" Fantina pressed.

Lily blinked. That had not been a question she had expected. "…Yes?"

"I see. _Incroyable,_" Fantina said. She floated forwards. Lily flinched, expecting to feel terrible pain from the rightfully angry sorceress at any moment…

And was astonished when she found herself wrapped in a hug, ectoplasmic tendrils emerging from under Fantina's hat to envelop Lily in a warm, compassionate embrace. "_J'ai pensé que ce jour ne viendrait jamais…_Lily…you 'ave no idea 'ow long I 'ave wanted to meet you," Fantina said, closing her eyes and pressing her forehead to Lily's.

"You…you have? Why?" Lily asked in surprise.

"To rescue you, _naturellement_. Did you zink I was unaware of 'ow your mozzer was treating you? Of ze 'orrible zings she did to you, and made you do?" Fantina asked.

"I…to be honest, I didn't know you even knew I existed," said the astounded Lily.

"Of course I knew! I try my best to know everyzing Bellum does," Fantina insisted. She sighed, looking dejected. "Not well enough, zhough, if she was able to do so much wizout my noticing…if she was able to join a group trying to resurrect ze Ruler of Evil, and I never even knew…" She opened her eyes and fixed Lily with her gaze. "But believe you me, Lily, once I became aware of you, I never stopped searching for you. I looked everywhere, searching 'igh and low, seeking Bellum out wherever she went, 'oping and seeking and desperately trying to find 'er true lair. I never did, zhough, and I 'ope you can forgive me, Lily…for not being zere when you needed me. For not saving you sooner. _Je suis si désolé_."

"But…but I don't understand," Lily said, shocked and bewildered. "You…you expended so much effort for me, even though we'd never met? Even though I'm the daughter of your worst enemy? You tried so hard to rescue me…why?"

"Because, it's zanks in part to me zat you even exist," Fantina said.

Lily blinked. "What? I don't understand."

"Did you never zink it odd zat Bellum would 'ave a daughter of ze same species and elemental specialty as her worst enemy?" Fantina asked, conjuring a fireball. "While I'm sure Bellum 'ad a sinister arcane purpose in creating you…ze reason you are ze way you are is because…she shaped you in my image."

Lily's eyes widened in astonishment. "What?"

"_Mes excuses. _Allow me to explain. When Bellum and I were younger, we naturally went to all ze same schools and social events, since we were bozz from noble families. 'Owever, Bellum was next in line for ze position of Duchess of Fichina, while I was from a somewhat lesser family, and she lorded zat position over me, believing it gave her ze excuse to belittle and bully me, confident zat nobody would stop 'er…and ze sad zing is, she was right. While 'er mozzer, ze Duchess of ze time, was a fair womon, she was a little…in denial when it came to 'er daughter's indiscretions, and got razzer angry whenever anyone suggested zat Bellum was anyzing less zan perfect. Zankfully, zat is not a practice I share wiz my own children, is zat not right, Bow?" Fantina asked.

"_Non, _Mama," Bow said, sounding slightly resentful about this.

"Mother was stronger than you?" Lily asked in amazement. But Fantina was the greatest sorceress in the world, someone who drove Bellum into an apoplexy whenever her name was mentioned. How could she have once been inferior to Bellum?

Fantina smirked. "_Non_, _I_ was ze stronger one. I excelled in magic and always got better grades zan 'er. Zat is why she singled me out to torment, naturally…'er inflated sense of pride could not comprehend zat someone from a lesser family could possibly be more powerful zan 'er, ze next Duchess, so she bullied me to make 'erself feel superior. And zere wasn't really anyzing I could do about it, since if I fought back, Bellum could just tell 'er mozzer, and create _un désordre d'ennui_for my family."

"Oh my…yes, that does sound like something Mother would do," Lily said.

"When she went to ze dark side, zhough, and murdered her family, I no longer 'ad to 'old back, and assisted ze mages who defeated and banished 'er from Fichina. As a result, my family was elevated to take ze place of ze Yuki'imis and I was groomed to be ze next Duchess." She smirked. "So in a very real way, I would not 'ave gotten to where I am now if it weren't for your mozzer."

"Really," Lily agreed in wonder. "It's no wonder she hates you so much…I'm glad I wasn't unborn then, she would have been _furious_!"

"But as I said, it is because of me zat you are as you are, and Bellum treated you ze way she did," Fantina said sadly. "Since she found 'erself unable to beat me in our various clashes over ze years, boz professional and combative, when she became pregnant wiz you, she used 'er magic to shape your still-malleable ectoplasm so you would be a Misdreavus…a Misdreavus just like I was."

Lily gasped, finally understanding. "And she threw my egg into fire so I would be unborn with the power of flame, your specialty! Then…Mother made me like this because…"

"Because she 'ated me so much zat even 'urting me in effigy would 'ave been good enough for 'er," Fantina said sadly. "And _you_ were zat effigy, Lily. Whenever she tortured you, whenever she beat you or cursed you or did experiments on you…she always pretended it was _me_ zat she was grinding into ze dust."

"Then…then that's why…that's why she was always so cruel to me…" Lily whispered.

"Well, zat and because she's in general a very _mechant_ person who is incapable of feeling love for anyone," Fantina said. "I imagine zat now zat you're gone, she 'as to find someone else to take 'er anger out on…I wonder if she ever asks zat Ditto of 'ers to take on my appearance?" She sighed. "Zat poor zing. And 'e zinks 'e's actually _benefiting_ by associating wiz Bellum…"

Lily mulled this over for a moment. "Then…what you're saying is…is that even if I had done what it was Mother created me to do, even if I was as evil as she wanted…she would still have hated me, because…"

"Because whenever she looked at you, she saw me," Fantina confirmed. She closed her eyes in sadness. "I am so sorry, Lily. When I found out what you were, what Bellum did wiz you, I knew I 'ad to find you, to save you. But I failed, and because of it you suffered 'orribly. You suffered because of me." She looked away. "Now zat you know ze truzz…zat it is because of your mozzer's vendetta wiz me zat you are ze way you are, zat she has 'urt you all zese years…you must 'ate me for being ze source of your torment."

"…Fantina, I don't hate you," Lily said. She was still reeling from this rather disturbing revelation, but she was sure enough of herself to know this.

Fantina looked at her in surprise. "_Que?_"

Lily smiled. "Mother made me in the image of you, her greatest enemy…and in doing so doomed herself, because I'm her enemy now too, and if you have been able to best her for so long, then that means I must have the power to do so as well."

Fantina stared at her in astonishment, then burst into surprised laughter. "_Oui, oui,_ so you do, so you do!" the Mismagius declared. "I shall teach you as much as I can, zen, so zat when next you run into your mozzer…"

"My resemblance to you will be more than just superficial?" Lily finished. "I…I think I would like that very much."

Fantina stared at her adoringly. "_Comme je,_ Lily. _Comme je._" She hugged her again.

Diane blinked and scratched her head. "Huh," she said. "I certainly didn't expect this much drama from a simple flower delivery."

"Does zis mean I 'ave a new sister now or somezing?" asked the confused Bow.

"Well, this was all really sweet and shed light on a ton of fascinating backstory, but…can somebody get me down from here?" Leo, who was still pinned to the wall, shouted.

Fantina started and burst into embarrassed laughter. "Oh! _Mes excuses._" She waved an ectoplasmic tendril, and Leo fell to the ground. "I am so sorry…I was so caught up wizz Lily I forgot you were even zere! Lily, could you introduce me to your friend?"

Lily nodded. "Of course. This is Leo…my…'significant other?' Is that the right term?"

"Yep," Leo said as he brushed himself off.

Fantina blinked. "Oh, so you swing zat way? Well, I've dabbled once or twice myself, so I suppose I'm not one to-"

"I'm a guy," Leo said, taking off his wimple.

"Oh. _Mes excuses,_" Fantina apologized.

"…Why are you dressed as a nun?" asked the very confused Bow.

"Part of a cunning disguise, no doubt," Diane said, clearly thinking there was nothing cunning about it.

"That, and I really am a high-ranking member of the Sisterhood of the Bountiful Gracidea," Leo said proudly.

They all stared at him blankly. "…_Que?_" Fantina asked finally.

Leo threw up his hands in exasperation. "Why does everyone keep reacting that way? Arceus! What, a guy can't get in touch with his feminine side or something?"

Wisely, none of them said a thing.

Meanwhile, in the storage car…

Moju, a Tangrowth conductor, whistled to himself as he walked through the aisles of the storage car, performing an inventory of the train's cargo and luggage. He examined each crate and suitcase and container, checking it off on his cargo manifest to indicate that everything was there and accounted for. As he expected, there were no irregularities…

Except for a plain and unassuming crate nestled between a box of spare blankets and a case holding several of the Duchess Fantina's spare dresses. Frowning to himself, Moju glanced at the list on his clipboard, then back at the crate, noting with growing alarm that there was no label or glowing magical indicator to signify that it had been loaded on the train and put down in the official record.

In other words…it was something that didn't belong. Worried, he touched a rune-embossed pin on his uniform. "Security, this is Moju in the storage car. I've found a crate that doesn't appear on the cargo manifest. I don't think it's supposed to be here."

"_Have you touched it or performed any scans?"_ a voice spoke from out of the pin.

"No," Moju said.

"_Good. Keep it that way. We'll be down to investigate in just a minute. It's probably nothing, but we can't take any precautions considering our passengers,"_ the voice said.

"Roger," said Moju, some of his anxiety ebbing away now that he knew someone else was coming to take care of this problem. That anxiety returned, however, when he heard a loud thump from inside the crate. His heart skipped a beat. "H-hello?" There was another thump, and another, as something hit the side of the crate from within. Not strong enough to knock it over or visibly shake it, but enough for Moju to hear it. Sweat rolling down his numerous tendrils, the Tangrowth tapped his pin again. "Security, status update on the crate. There's something in there. Something _alive._ And it wants to get out."

"_Hold your position. We're on our way. Don't touch it, cast any spells, or so much as _breathe_ at it until we get there, understand?"_

"Roger," Moju said nervously.

His poor nerves took another bad hit when he heard a frail, weak voice from inside the crate. "H-hello? Is…is there somebody out there?"

"Wh-who are you? What are you doing in there?" Moju demanded, trying not to panic.

"I…I don't know…where am I? It's so dark…and it hurts so much…ohhh…_ohhhhhh_…" the voice moaned in pain. "Please…please help me…h-help me…"

Moju frantically tapped his pin. "Security, another status update. The thing in the crate's a Pokémon. It…it sounds like it's in pain…"

"_Moju, do NOT do anything! We'll be there shortly! Hold your position, and no matter what you hear, DON'T LISTEN!"_ the voice ordered.

Moju swallowed. "R-roger…"

"Please…please…aaaaahhhhh…" the voice wailed, before starting to cough. "I…I can't breathe…the air is running out…" The thuds turned into scrapes as whatever was inside desperately clawed at the sides of the crate. "Help…h-help me, please…I can't…I'm choking…" The voice caught off with a gasp, degenerating into an alarming series of coughs, wheezes, and what sounded an awful lot like throwing up. "Ohhhh…"

Moju tapped his pin. "Security, the thing's-"

"_MOJU, FOR THE LOVE OF ARCEUS, DON'T DO ANYTHING! FOR THE LAST TIME, DON'T TOUCH THE CRATE!"_ the voice shouted.

Moju swallowed. "B-but…"

"_DO! NOT! TOUCH! THE! CRATE!"_ the voice bellowed.

Moju moaned. "R-r-roger…"

The clawing noises grew more frantic. "No…no, no, no, no, no! *cough* Let me *cough* out! L-l-let *cough* *cough* *cough* me…ou-" The clawing slowed down, weakened, and finally went silent.

Moju's heart stopped. "Hello?" There was no response. "Hello?" There was no response. Moju reached for his pin…and lowered his hand with a groan. "Oh, Abyss, I just know I'm going to regret this." He rushed over to the crate, gripped the lid with all his might, and pulled it off. Surprisingly, it wasn't nailed on or even sealed, so it came off so easily that he nearly fell over backwards from the overexertion. Placing the lid on the ground and wondering briefly why the crate's occupant hadn't just climbed out (perhaps it was too small, or hurt?) he peered into the container, straining to see what was inside. "Hello? Are you in there?" he shouted into the darkness. "Are you all right?"

"I am now that you're here…_sucker!_" the voice shouted.

Moju blinked. "Sucker? What do you-" A wave of pink slime engulfed his vision, and then he knew no more.

A few minutes later, a Haunter and a Grumpig entered the car. "Moju? We're here. Sorry we took so long, one of the passengers was arguing with the chef and causing a big mess in the dining car, and we had to break it up. What's happened?" the Grumpig asked the waiting Tangrowth as he and his partner approached.

"Nothing much," Moju said. "The voice from the crate stopped talking a little while ago, and all sounds from inside went quiet. I was tempted to look inside, but I've heard the stories of what happens to guys like me who open suspicious boxes and get their brains splattered across several continents by a curse, so I decided to leave it alone."

"Good mon," the Grumpig said. He closed his eyes and mentally scanned the crate. "It's clear," he said. "I don't detect any spells or life signs of any kind."

"Oh no…did the thing die?" Moju asked in horror. "And I could have helped it, but…"

"Don't be so hasty to jump to conclusions," the Grumpig said. He nodded at the Haunter, who went intangible and passed through the side of the crate.

The Ghost came back out a moment later, holding a tape recorder. "Look at what I found," he said, pushing 'Play' and causing the tape to start.

There were some loud thumping noises, and then a frail, weak voice saying, "H-hello? Is…is there somebody out there?"

Moju blinked. "Wait a minute…you mean this was all some sort of hoax?"

"Looks that way," the Haunter said, angrily crushing the machine in his claw. "Some stupid prank to make us jumpy…as if we didn't have enough to worry about already!"

"We'll start investigations to see what idiot thought it would be funny to pull something like this," the Grumpig said. "Probably a waste of time, considering how we have so many other more important matters to deal with regarding our passengers' safety, but we can't let someone who thinks it's a bright idea to mess with our heads in such a heightened state of emergency go unpunished."

"Dang…gee, I'm sorry for wasting your time, guys," Moju apologized.

"No big deal, you were just doing your job, like we were doing ours," the Grumpig said.

The Haunter nodded. "And at least you had the common sense to call us rather than checking things out yourself. Yeah, it was nothing…_this _time…but next time we might not be so lucky."

The Tangrowth shuddered. "I hope there isn't a next time. Thanks for the help, guys."

"No problem," the Grumpig said. "Keep up the good work, and we'll do the same."

They left. And once they were gone…

The Tangrowth narrowed his eyes and chuckled to himself. "Heheheh. Suckers." He reached into the vines covering his body and pulled out an eerily glowing vial. "And now that I'm here, and nobody suspects me…it's time to put Bellum's plan into action. Fantina, you've shown her up for the last time! Gyahahahaha!"

…

Meanwhile, in Pokémon Square…

In the few days since the victory at Mt. Blaze, life had, for the most part, returned to normal. The few hundred ex-prisoners and slaves of the barbarians the heroic Rescue Teams and Draconian soldiers had rescued from the barbarians were slowly but surely regaining their health and starting to realize that this wasn't a dream, this wasn't a trick, that they were in fact free now, and their saviors weren't going to do anything bad to them. Naturally, there were several who were still utterly terrified and convinced it was all a trick, but considering the emotional scarring they'd all gone through during their long and traumatic captivity, this was understandable.

However, while the liberation of the prisoners was universally seen as a good thing, what to do with them all was another. There wasn't really room enough in town to keep them all. Even though several conscientious citizens had opened up their homes to the refugees, the sheer amount of recovering Pokémon far outnumbered these residences. They couldn't be installed in camps and settlements outside the town walls because they were still expecting that big siege to happen any day now, and they weren't really in any condition to be released back into the wild (although quite a few of the more claustrophobic and civilization-fearing Pokémon insisted that they were fine, and they'd really like to go home now, please, before they started screaming and chewing on the walls). Some of the refugees had been amenable to being relocated to Imperial-run wildlife preserves and cities on other continents, but many refused to go anywhere but back to their original homes in the Kanjohenn wilderness, ignoring protests that those homes probably didn't exist anymore and that they'd just get snatched up by another bunch of barbarians if they went out unprotected. The Draconians had been forced to keep the majority of the Pokémon housed in new annexes that were hurriedly grafted onto the sides of the Sky Tower in an attempt to keep them accommodated until something more permanent could be done, and while their settings were luxurious, there were _still_ frequent complaints about being cooped up indoors which was supposedly unnatural for any Pokémon and many fears that they were going to fall through the cloudstuff making up their temporary homes and plummet to their deaths.

Feeding all these liberated Pokémon was also a bit of a problem. While both Pokémon Square and the Sky Tower had quite a lot of food stocked up in their vast storehouses, it wasn't enough to keep the townsPokémon, Draconians, _and_ the refugees' bellies full for very long. Imperial supply shuttles flew in several times a day to drop off much-needed food and medicine, but even then there were worries it wouldn't be enough. The fact that most of the farmland and plains outside the town walls had been pretty much leveled to make room for training grounds for the Imperial forces and landing strips for the vessels too big to dock at and unload their cargo at the Sky Tower also garnered many complaints from the townsPokémon, who were beginning to wonder if the Imperial capitol's supposedly temporary anchoring over their town to protect them from the barbarian hordes was going to become a bit more permanent. Were they being turned into an addition to the Empire after all, without any say in the matter?

None of these worries could be seen by anyone by Latias, however, from where she and her brother were sitting on the cliff next to the Pelipper post office. From there, all they could see was the magnificent vista of the town, the majestic floating cloud palace hovering over it, and regular Pokémon bustling about their everyday lives. "It's this sort of thing that I work for," Latias commented.

"What?" Latios said in confusion.

"Ordinary people able to live their lives without having to worry about being destroyed by some horrible threat," Latias explained.

"But they _are_ worried about being destroyed by some horrible threat," Latios pointed out. "I mean, my Psychic powers aren't as good as yours…now…but I can still tell how much everyone's afraid, deep down. Which is probably why Mrs. Thunderblade is so determinedly pushing that marriage plan of hers forward, to get everyone's minds off of what's going on, and the problems we still have to face in the future."

Latias nodded. "She certainly has a way of convincing people to do what she wants. It should be interesting, don't you think?"

After seeing that not everyone was one hundred percent pleased with the way things were going, the joy of their triumph over Gal's forces fading as the reality of the consequences of their actions became more clear, Mrs. Ketchum had decided what they needed to cheer everyone up was a wedding. Not enough engaged couples—including her sons—were in town for her to go ahead with the enormous multiple wedding she believed they should have once the crisis was all over, but she saw no reason they couldn't hold a preliminary wedding that would be but a pale shadow of the grand celebration she had in store for later. Since Delia always got in a rather terrifying state of mind whenever she'd decided it was time for someone to get married whether they liked it or not, most people had decided to just sit back and go with the flow, since those who tried to argue with her found themselves Miltanked into submission by Delia's surprisingly effective passive-aggressive arguments and bribes of excellent food. As a result, by the end of the week the couples of Nuken and Missy (Nuken insisted they get wed right away once he found out Missy was pregnant, not wanting his child to be born out of wedlock. Missy had been more than happy to comply.) Zeke and Sylvia (who were so relieved that the Zangoose had survived the last major engagement that they had no objections to pushing up their wedding date a little), Goku and Ete (who thought it high time they formalize their relationship and figured that in the process they could prove themselves as civilized Pokémon and earn some respect from those who still did not quite trust them), and Zoro and Rosa (who had protested that they wanted to be married back in their home village, but were very quickly shown the error of their ways). Delia had tried to bully Wes and Rui into joining the fun, but the Espeon had managed to resist her mind games, so she shrugged it off and figured she'd get another chance to push them together once the final battle had been won. And besides, a bunch of other couples whose names will not be mentioned had also decided (eventually) it would be a good idea to get married, so it wasn't as if she was at a dearth for people to pair together.

"I'm surprised you and Rayquaza aren't going to get hitched then," Latios said snidely.

"We…aren't quite at that stage in our relationship yet," Latias said.

Latios blinked. "Huh? But I thought-"

"It's complicated," Latias said vaguely. "And besides, something like that would probably go over a lot better once Rayquaza is restored to his true form."

"Heh. Yeah, I guess so," Latios admitted reluctantly. "Would be kind of funny to see you two side by side at the altar as he is now, though."

Latias smiled. "Probably, which is no doubt why Nuken won't allow it. He's kind of a tightwad, isn't he?"

Latios laughed. "Yeah, totally." They smiled at each other…and then Latios sighed and looked away. "I miss this."

"Miss what?" Latias asked.

"You, me, being able to talk about stuff. Not having to worry about destiny or the fate of the world or stuff like that. Just…being able to talk as brother and sister," Latios said.

She gently put an arm on his. "We're talking now."

"Yeah?" he asked, jerking his arm away. "Where's the intimacy? Where's the closeness? You say we're still brother and sister, Latias. You say I'm still important. Then why am I still shut out of your head? You can see everything in my mind…but I can't see a thing in yours. Does that sound fair to you?"

Latias sighed. "Brother…"

"I miss you, Latias. You're right in front of me…I can see you, I can touch you…but I can't…I can't _feel_ you in here anymore," Latios said miserably, touching his head and his heart. "I can't hear your thoughts, I can't feel your emotions, and I can't even see the things you see. Why'd you do it, Latias? Why've you locked me out?"

"To protect you," she said.

"Protect me? From what?" Latios demanded.

"My mind, it's…it's different now. There are things in here that mortal eyes aren't really meant to see," Latias said apologetically.

"Mortal? I'm your brother! And a god too!" Latios retorted angrily.

"Demigod," she corrected him gently.

"Whatever! What's in there that's so horrible you can't even trust your own brother enough to see it?" Latios demanded.

"It's not horrible," she said, looking offended. "It's not horrible at all. If anything, it's the exact opposite. I'm worried that even _touching_ it would cause you to be overwhelmed by the, the sheer _beauty_ of it all…the music of the spheres, the radiance of the Celestial Heavens, the grand web that binds all things together, the indescribable magnificence that is Arceus, the One and Creator of us all…the only reason I can comprehend all this without it breaking my mind is because I'm a god high up enough to truly understand how everything fits together. For everyone else, even lesser deities, though…it's all so _big_ and _bright_ and _wonderful_ that they just can't handle it. It's not that I don't trust you, Latios…it's just that I'm afraid that by letting you in, you would be consumed completely, letting your mind go so to better be a part of it all." There was also the fact that if he looked into her mind, she was worried he'd see her memories of what he'd done in his last life before the Omniverse had been born…and of the _things_ he'd done. That was one of the few things, if any, that she had made sure the Guardian of Hope would never, ever learn. Some truths were just too painful.

This explanation did far from mollify Latios, however. "So that's it, huh? I'm…I'm too stupid and weak and insignificant to look into your mind, is that it?"

"Latios! No, it's not like that at all!" she protested.

"I'm just too damn mortal to possibly be able to understand you now, aren't I?" he asked angrily. "You've become so powerful that, even incomplete as you are, we're still less than Bugs compared to your oh-so-great divinity!"

"You're not Bugs!" Latias snapped. "I love you! I love _all_ of you!"

"Yeah? As people, or as pets? Things to care for but never really connect with, just pat them on the head and give them a treat when they do as you please?" he sneered. "We're nothing more than playthings for people like you!"

"If you had _any_ understanding of how things really work, you wouldn't even say something as stupid as that," Latias said, upset.

"Then _make_ me understand!" Latios yelled.

She nodded. "All right."

Latios blinked. "Just like that?"

"Of course. All you ever had to do was ask," Latias said.

"No, I mean, this isn't one of those big things you said I wouldn't be able to comprehend?" asked the confused Latios.

"No, it's a medium-sized thing you _can_ comprehend," Latias said kindly. "You're right, there _are_ gods who view mortals as insects or playthings. They generally don't last long."

"Why not?" Latios asked.

"Because they fail to understand the true nature of the relationship between the mundane and the divine. Do you know what that is, Latios?" Latias asked.

"Uh…you guys need us for energy from prayer or belief or something, and we need you for…" Latios frowned. "What _do_ we need you for?"

"Stability. Protection. A justified belief that somewhere out there, there _is_ an order and purpose to all things," Latias said.

"I dunno. Seems to me we've done pretty fine on our own," Latios said skeptically.

Latias smiled. "Which is a sign that we're doing our jobs properly. When we're working at peak efficiency, few if any people notice all the disasters that fail to occur, the crimes that don't happen, the wars that don't break out, because it's not exactly easy to spot something that never took place, right?"

"I…guess," Latios said. "But lots of bad stuff's happening now, so doesn't that mean somebody up there's slacking off?"

She frowned. "More like we've got too much work and not enough people to do it. Same old story for law enforcement everywhere, even in the Heavens."

Latios grimaced. "Should I be reassured or disturbed by that?"

She shrugged. "It's up to you. Just like you, we try our best to make sure everything works right. Sometimes it doesn't, which is sad, but inevitable. The Omniverse isn't perfect, and neither are we."

"Well, I'm glad you can admit that much," Latios said. "But why _is_ it imperfect then? And don't give me that TS about free will or things being better by being imperfect, because I doubt the Pokémon we freed from Mt. Blaze will like hearing that they were imprisoned and tortured because things are better off that way."

"It's the party line, but the truth is even we don't know why it's that way," Latias admitted. "There's plenty of people who think Arceus could have done things a little better, but we figure he must have had his reasons, and he'll clue us in on them…eventually."

"What if there isn't?" Latios asked pessimistically.

"There is," Latias insisted. "Your senses aren't fine-tuned enough, but…to someone like me, someone who can see the inner workings of reality…it's clear that, bit by bit, we're working towards something big. Something wonderful. We don't know what it is or when it'll happen, but we have to trust that when it _does_ happen eventually, everything up to that point will have been worth it."

"Huh. Guess even gods have to believe in something, huh?" Latios murmured.

"It's that or buy too much into our own supposed omnipotence, which rarely ends well," Latias said. "Anyway, that's part of why those of us who understand the way things work don't look down on you or see you as playthings. Despite our differences, we're all cogs in the great machine that is the Omniverse, and the way we interact with each other affects everything, big or small, near or far, from one end of reality to the other. Some cogs are just a little bigger than others, that's all."

"Ah, and that's supposed to make me feel better about feeling smaller and less important than you?" Latios asked bitterly.

"In the great machine of life, we are all of equal importance. And besides, you're actually luckier than you think to be a little cog," Latias said.

Latios blinked. "Uh, how?"

"Would you believe me if I told you that a lot of gods are secretly jealous of mortals?" Latias asked. "I'm not, but that's partly because I enjoy my job and I regularly incarnate as a mortal, so I get the best of both worlds. Not every deity gets that privilege, though."

Latios frowned. "Why would they possibly be envious of us? We're smaller, weaker, and live shorter, often pointless and painful lives. And don't tell me something stupid like how mortality is the greatest gift of all, because we both know that's ridiculous."

Latias nodded in agreement. "Of course it is. There's a reason all living things strive for immortality. We know in our souls it's how we're supposed to be, but most of us haven't gotten bodies capable of perfectly fitting our eternal spirits."

"Then if it's not that, why do the gods envy us?" Latios asked.

"Because you have freedom," Latias said.

Latios blinked. "…Wait, what?"

"Our power, our positions…it comes with a price. We're bound by laws that mean we can only use our abilities in certain situations and ways. We're defined by our roles, rather than the other way around. We…we can't really be anything more than what we are now," she said. "Change is possible, but only incrementally. Attempts to go beyond that can lead to madness, or worse…becoming something like Giratina. A fallen deity, who only seeks to destroy rather than create, betraying everything she is out of anger and bitterness. Mortals, on the other hand…" She smiled and glanced at him. "You have unlimited potential. You have limits, just as we do, but while we can rarely if ever surpass ours, you never _stop_ testing your boundaries, looking for ways to become more than you are. Your ingenuity and curiosity allows you to go beyond the roles that fate seems to deal you, and more often than not even we gods have been astounded by the sorts of things you're capable of when you really try. There have been many times when some of us have begun to lose faith in mortalkind, wondering why Arceus saw fit to create you when all you seem to be capable of is fighting and causing strife to each other. And then one of you has an inspiration, a literal divine spark that can set a fire that changes the world…and reminds us of how special you really are." She chuckled at the stunned look on Latios's face. "As I said before, even gods need something to believe in. I have seen some of the worst things any being, mortal or immortal, is capable of…as well as the best, things that seem even more beneficial and useful than the best efforts of the Guardians. And as a result, I choose to believe in you."

Latios blinked, astounded as he tried to process this. "That's…that's just…wow."

"I know. Blows your mind, doesn't it?" Latias asked with a gentle smile.

He nodded. "Yeah, really. But…" He sagged. "That still doesn't make me feel any less insignificant. I understand what you're saying, about how we have more leeway in choosing our own path, but…it seems to me like that path is taking me away from you. We're no longer equals, not even close. I can no longer protect you. I can't even function on your level anymore. I'm no longer privy to your innermost thoughts and feelings because apparently they're so…_big_ they'd destroy me. And yet…" He clenched his fists. "And yet…you're going to be able to share all that with _him._"

"Rayquaza," Latias said.

Latios nodded, too upset to look at her. "I know he's really a nice guy. I'm even starting to like him in spite of myself. We…kind of bonded out on the battlefield. He's not the pampered royal jerk I thought he was. He's willing to risk himself for his people. I…I kind of respect that, and think I see why his subjects love him so much, even though he still seems to lack confidence in himself."

"Thank you for protecting him during the fight, by the way," Latias said. "You were able to be there for him when I wasn't. I'm very grateful to you."

Latios blushed. "Yeah, well…I did it for you, not for him."

"I know. And I'm grateful anyway," she said, causing his blush to deepen. "And as for the self-confidence thing, we're working on that."

"Yeah," Latios said somewhat resentfully. "That's what I'm afraid of. You and Rayquaza…you two have an awesome destiny together. You're both bigshot gods, and you'll probably be even bigger once you get your full powers. And where's that gonna leave me? You'll both go off to your happy ending ruling the world or empire or whatever, and…" He sagged. "And I'll still be here. Just regular old Latios, same as always…all alone…"

"Brother," she said, eyes full of compassion as she touched his shoulder. "Don't be silly. We'd never leave you behind."

"Oh, even better! I get to come with you and be the third wheel to your relationship!" Latios said sarcastically. "Yeah, I can see that…Latias and Rayquaza, the great and holy dragon gods…and their tagalong brother, Latios. Whoopee."

"Is that what you really think of yourself?" Latias asked in exasperation. "That our fates are really so dissimilar?"

"How can I not? You and Rayquaza being together is all the Draconians seem to talk about. The two of you have reincarnated constantly together, supposedly one of the Omniverse's longest-lasting romances. Where am I in that legend? What part is there for me to play in your story?" Latios asked unhappily.

"More than you think," Latias said firmly. "Despite what the Draconian sagas may say, you're every bit as important as we are."

"How? By providing you with another anchor to help get your powers back?" Latios asked cynically. "Hooray, I get to be a footnote in history…just what I always wanted."

"By being the third in a holy trinity," Latias said. "The Guardian of Light, the Guardian of Hope, and the Dragon-God King. It's not just Rayquaza and I, Brother. We need you as well, to balance us out."

Latios frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I am Arceus' sword, the Light which banishes the shadow of evil," Latias said. "Rayquaza is the great King who leads the forces of good, and helps rebuild the world that is devastated in the wake of evil's fall. And you…in many ways you are the most important of all, Brother, because you are Hope."

Latios blinked. "Hope? What's so good about that?"

"_Everything,_" Latias said. "Without hope, what allows people to find the light to dispel the darkness? Without hope, why should anyone follow a leader, or believe that there's a chance they can remake what was destroyed? Hope is the fuel that keeps people running in the worst of times. Hope is the power that lets them survive, and to believe that one day, even the baddest of things can be amended. Without hope…what else do we have?"

"I…" Latios blinked. "I don't…know. That's…a really good question. And…what, you're saying I…I _embody_ hope?"

"Pretty much, yeah," Latias said.

"…That's kinda gay. Isn't 'hope' supposed to be the job of a girl?" Latios complained.

She laughed and punched him in the shoulder. "It's an equal-opportunity job, silly. And besides, you _have_ been a girl a few times."

Latios blinked. "Huh?"

"You didn't think Rayquaza and I were the _only_ ones to reincarnate now and then, did you?" she asked affectionately.

"Oh. Uh, I guess that makes sense…" His eyes widened. "Wait, does that mean-"

Latias winced. "That you're the reincarnation of the Guardian of Hope? Well…no, I'm afraid not. He's out and about on the other side of the Omniverse, last time I checked."

Latios sagged. "Oh. Figures."

"But even if you aren't his direct reincarnation, that doesn't mean you aren't still him," Latias said, touching his shoulder. "We're multiversal entities. There's a core singularity, our divine selves on the Celestial Heavens, with aspects and reflections and shadows of us scattered across the worlds. You _are_ the Guardian of Hope, as much as he is you."

"No I'm not, no more than a picture is the same as the thing it represents," Latios argued.

She smirked. "Sometimes a picture can be realer than the thing it's based off of. I know that you feel like you don't matter, that you can't catch up, that you have no real role to play in our story…but you have the same power as any of us, if you only looked for it."

Latios frowned. "What do you mean?"

"You are connected to the Guardian of Hope, just as I am connected to the Guardian of Light," Latias said. "Or rather, I _am_ the Guardian now, but I wasn't before, and…oh, it's hard to express concepts like this in spoken language. You know what I mean."

"No, I don't actually," Latios said in confusion.

Latias tried again. "My body was the perfect receptacle for the Guardian of Light's power and spirit because I _am_ her. I was her even before that ceremony we performed. Similarly, you _are_ the Guardian of Hope, and have greater power than you're aware of."

Latios slowly started to understand. "Wait. Waitwaitwait. Are you saying what I think you're saying? That…that I could ascend and whatever? Become like you?"

"Not _completely_ like me. You wouldn't possess the same degree of knowledge and power that I got from assimilating the Guardian of Light into myself, since your divine self is currently active and battling evil elsewhere," Latias said. "But…I believe that, once Rayquaza is back to normal and that sorcerer who ruined everything in the first place is dealt with, we may be able to help you awaken more of the Guardian within you, to draw upon your connection to the 'core' Latios and use it to make you more than you are now. Then you could fight by our side, and no longer feel left out."

"That…that would be awesome!" Latios gasped. He frowned. "But…"

"You are worried that if you did so, you wouldn't be you anymore? That the _otherness_ of your godly self would destroy everything that is the mortal you?" Latias asked.

Latios nodded unhappily. "Pretty much, yeah."

"Brother, I've told you again and again that's not how it is," Latias said.

"And again and again I find it difficult to believe," Latios confessed. "I mean…look at you! You're just so, so _different_. You say you're still the Latias _I_ knew as well as the great and glorious Guardian of Light, but…no matter how hard I look at you, I just can't see it. I mean…you've still got my sister's kindness and compassion, her sense of humor, her desire to help everyone no matter what…but this power, this courage, this sense of responsibility and wisdom and _age_ beyond anything I can imagine, it…it's so alien and unfamiliar. It's nothing like you, the you I knew, I mean. I'm sorry, Sis, but I just can't reconcile it…the you of my memory and the you that you are now. I'm afraid that the Latias I remember is nothing more but a memory…and if _I_ undergo a process similar to what happened to you, then…then who will I be? Will I still be _me_, or just someone completely new going around in this body, with little thought to who I was before?"

Latias considered this. "I see. None of that would happen, and your assessment of what happened to me is far from accurate, but I can see why you would feel that way."

"Yeah," Latios said unhappily.

She frowned. "There must be some way I can convince you your fears are unfounded. That I really _am_ still the sister you love, no matter how much you think I've changed…ah. I have an idea." She extended her claws. "Take my claws."

"Uh, okay," Latios said, locking his claws with hers.

"Now, look me in the eyes," Latias said.

"Okay," Latios said, staring in her golden eyes. He found himself both dazzled and frightened by the way they swirled and glowed and seemed to hold the knowledge and weight of countless eons in their depths. "Um, why are we doing this?"

"Because we're going to sight-share," Latias said. "I'm going to show you the way I see the world…and, in the process, show you that you have nothing to fear, from me or from your own transformation."

"Um, I'm actually feeling really scared now, because you said that if I looked into your mind, it'd do something terrible to mine," Latios said in alarm.

Latias smiled reassuringly. "Not if I guide you. Just relax, and I'll take care of you."

"How can I relax after you say something like that?" Latios protested.

She laughed. "Like…_this…_" Warmth flowed up Latios's arms from where Latias was holding her claws, and despite himself he found his tension ebbing, his anxiety fading away. "Now…keep looking into my eyes. And remember, whatever you see…it's real. Realer than anything you've ever seen."

"Okay," he murmured, feeling more mellow and at ease than he had since this whole ordeal had begun. He knew she was probably using her powers to make him feel this way, but it felt so good right then he didn't really care. He stared into Latias's eyes, and kept staring as the gold seemed to seep outward to envelop her pupils and corneas, then leaked out of her eyes to turn the whole world gold, and then the world itself vanished and he could see nothing but gold…

And then…and then he saw…

When Latios came to, he found there were tears in his eyes and joy in his heart, and although whatever had just happened to him was already a swiftly receding memory, he knew somehow that it had been the most amazing thing he'd ever seen, and as long as he lived he'd probably never see its like again. This knowledge turned his joy to sorrow, and he found himself sobbing inconsolably, without even knowing why, curling up into a shivering ball of despair and loss. The emptiness faded, however, when Latias wrapped her arms around him and filled him with warmth and light. "Well?" she asked.

"It…it…it was so damn beautiful," he gasped, so overwhelmed with emotion that he found it difficult to breathe. "And that's…that's what you see…a-all the time?"

She nodded, a happy smile on her face. "I know. Amazing, isn't it?"

"How…how can anyone _bear_ it? How can they get anything done with, with _that_…" Latios waved his arm vaguely, unable to describe the indescribable.

"When a person becomes as powerful as I am, powerful enough to see the way everything really is, one of two things can happen," Latias said. "They can either reject it, refusing to believe that the Omniverse could be so beautiful deep down, considering all the terrible things that happen on a daily basis. The other…is to embrace it, and spend your existence trying to make the worlds a better place, so that they will be more in line with the future you see, the golden potential off in the distance. Which do you choose?"

"The latter," Latios said without a second thought. "Anyone who'd want to become evil after…after seeing something like that is crazy."

"That's what I think, too," Latias said.

"And…and that's not all," Latios suddenly realized. "I saw…you. The real you. And me. And…and you were right all along, weren't you?"

Latias smirked. "It took you this long to figure it out?"

Latios shook his head sorrowfully. "You were right in front of me the whole time…and I…I just kept pushing you away…I'm a terrible brother."

"I could have been a better sister," Latias apologized. "I kept you out when what I should have been doing was making you more a part of things. I ignored you to focus on Rayquaza and whatever was going on with everyone else…I'm sorry, brother."

"Well…I think I can understand why now," Latios admitted. "You can see so much more of…of the big picture, right? And sometimes, I guess the little things slip away."

"You're _far_ from a little thing," Latias assured him. "And I promise, I will never push you away again. We're in this together from now on, okay?"

Latios smirked. "Sure thing. You've got no complaints from me, sis." They embraced.

"Awwww, that's really sweet," Rayquaza said, startling Latios.

"Ack! How long have you guys been there?" he cried, seeing Rayquaza, Aaron, and Sabrina standing nearby.

"Several minutes," Latias said.

"And you didn't tell me?" Latios asked.

"I felt we needed to work things out first," Latias said.

"Well…okay, I guess that makes sense," Latios grumbled. "So, what's up?"

"I have had a vision regarding what we can do to remedy Latias and Rayquaza's current condition," Sabrina said.

"Ooh! What is it?" Latios asked.

"Well…it's not something that _I_ actually know," Sabrina admitted, looking frustrated. "However, I know who Latias must see who can tell her the next step."

"Krysta," Aaron said. "My wife."

Latios blinked. "Oh yeah, she's that Ninetales chick who cursed Gardevoir a while back, right? That wasn't very nice of her."

"Why'd you hook up with her, anyway?" Rayquaza asked Aaron. "She doesn't really sound like your type."

"It was a long time ago. People can change," Latias answered for the Lucario, who nodded in agreement. "So, she can tell us what we need to do?"

"I foresaw you, Aaron, and Rayquaza discussing the matter with her, so I would assume so." Sabrina sighed. "I suppose you will have more luck using her clairvoyance to find an answer to this dilemma than you would with mine…"

"Your ability to peer into the future has still been of great help to us, Sabrina," Aaron assured her. "I'm sure we wouldn't have gotten this far without it."

"I suppose you're right," Sabrina said, though she did not sound mollified.

_Why's she so hung up on this?_ Latios queried his sister.

_She has a thing for him, and is unhappy he's married to Krysta instead,_ Latias said.

_Oh, right, forgot that…kinda sucks for her, huh?_ Latios murmured.

_I'm sure she'll find happiness of her own one way or another,_ Latias said. Aloud, she said, "I guess we should get going, then. Moving at lightspeed, I should be able to get us there in no time flat. Brother, would you like to come?"

Latios blinked in surprise. "Huh? You're inviting me?"

She smiled. "Well of course. I told you I was going to try and make you more of a part of our adventures, didn't I?"

Latios flushed and transmitted gratefulness to her, gratified to find that he was actually able to sense some of her emotions again. "Awww, thanks, sis!"

"Not to mention we need someone to carry me, and you've been a good steed in the past," Rayquaza said.

Latios glared at him. "Gee, thanks."

"That was a compliment. You performed very well carrying me about during the battle. I don't think I would have lasted nearly as long on any other Pokémon," Rayquaza said.

"Oh! Well…thanks, I guess," Latios said, surprised. "But, uh, I don't think I can keep up with you in your current form, sis."

"Well, I suppose I could slow down enough for you to catch up…" Latias said.

Latios bristled. "Hey, I don't need any charity from you! I'm faster than you think. For all you know, I may even beat you there!"

Latias smirked. This had, of course, been the reaction she had been hoping for. "Then let's get going. Aaron, would you like to ride on me?"

"I would be honored," the Lucario said graciously as he climbed onto Latias's back.

"Hang tight, Your Excellency, this is going to be one hell of a ride," Latios said as he levitated Rayquaza into the air and onto his back.

"I have every confidence in my safety…especially since Nuken will eviscerate you if anything happens to me," Rayquaza said, causing Latios to gulp.

The dragons rose into the air. "We'll be back soon," Latias said.

"Heck, you'll probably know what we've learned before we do!" Latios joked. "Seeya!"

They shot over Pokémon Square and off into the distance, leaving a rippling sonic boom in their wake. Sabrina sighed and looked into the water below. "Farewell, my love. I hope she makes you happier than I ever could…" She Teleported away.

Elsewhere in town…

"Fuahahahahaha! Fear me! I am the Lord of Flames, and I am evil for no reason whatsoever!" an armored Monferno roared from atop a craggy spire, plumes of lava erupting behind him as sooty clouds filled the red skies above. "All who oppose me shall perish!" He kicked rocks down the slope to cause rockslides, and hurled fireballs at the three Pokémon at the base of the peak.

"Incoming!" Pichu cried as the fireballs streaked towards them.

"Oh mon, why does it always have to be fire?" Max moaned.

"There's cover over here," Matthias said, dashing towards a big, sturdy rock. "Come on!"

They hid behind the rock, its thick stony mass serving as a shield to absorb the blasts from the fireballs. "Hey, no fair hiding! How'm I supposed to incinerate you like that?" the Monferno complained.

"That's kind of the idea!" Pichu yelled at him.

"Ha! Cowards!" the Monferno snorted. "I laugh at how you tremble before my obviously superior might, and will continue to throw projectiles from afar rather than coming down to fight you myself, because…um…I'm so superior that you wouldn't stand a chance against me! Yeah…I mentioned I'm evil, right? Just so you know, and all."

"…He's not very good at this," Pichu commented.

"Well, it's not like he's ever had any acting lessons," Max said.

"So, new guy, you're supposed to be some kind of genius tactician. How do we beat him?" Pichu asked the Treecko.

Max adjusted his glasses and cautiously peeked out from behind the rock, yelping and withdrawing his head before it could be hit by one of the fireballs the Monferno was hurling at their cover. "Well, he has the advantage of higher ground, and can throw as many projectiles at us as he wants from that vantage point. However, I think we might have a chance if we…" He paused, noticing the third member of the group wasn't paying attention to him. "Matthias, are you listening to me? This is important."

Matthias stared at the Monferno, who was laughing rather pathetically. "Fufufufu! You foolish fools are too foolish to defeat someone as…as…un-foolish as I! Yeah! Once I beat you I'll do some really evil stuff…like ravish your womon, and burn your homes, and, uh…eat all the food in your refrigerators! Yeah! That'll show you! Because I'm evil and that's the sort of thing I do! I'm bad to the bone, baby! Oh yeah! Hoo! Ha!"

"Matthias?" Pichu asked, frowning when he saw the look in his adopted brother's eyes.

The Monferno glanced at his wrist. "So…come on up here and face me already, this is getting kind of boring…you're not supposed to just sit there, are you? I mean, I'm up here, doing all this _reeeeaaally_ evil stuff…don't you want to stop me? No? Okay, then I guess I'll just keep doing it. And being really evil while doing it! Mwahahahaha!"

Matthias clenched his teeth, eyes flashing with rage. "I'LL KILL YOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUU!" he shouted, leaping out from behind the rock and dashing up the slope towards the Monferno on all fours.

"Matthias, wait! You forgot your sword!" Pichu cried in alarm, waving the wooden blade the Rattata had left behind. He raced after his brother.

"Oh, come on, guys! What happened to the plan? Which I never even got around to describing?" Max moaned as he watched Pichu run after Matthias.

"Finally! I was wondering what was taking you so long!" the Monferno said in relief when he saw Matthias and Pichu running towards him. He formed a big fireball and hurled it at the ground in front of them, causing it to explode and knock them back.

"Guh! Okay, that hurt more than I expected," Pichu groaned as he picked himself up. "But we can avoid something like that again if we split up to divert his fire and…" He sweatdropped when he saw Matthias had already gotten back up and was charging towards the Monferno again, howling for blood. "Gee, way to be a team player. And speaking of which…Max, get up here already!"

"But there's a lot of fire!" Max protested.

"You lived in an active volcano for several years, shouldn't you be over that by now?" Pichu asked in exasperation.

"I spent most of it hiding in an air-conditioned bunker, eating takeout," Max replied.

Pichu facepalmed. "What about your sister? She's a Fire-type!"

Max grimaced. "Hence why I'm still very nervous around fire, since she often set me on fire when she got really upset. Not on purpose, mind you, but…"

Pichu groaned. "Okay, I can understand you're not happy going up against an opponent with such an obvious advantage against you, and that you're still very new at fighting since you spent most of your childhood strategizing instead of battling, but part of being a team means you have to swallow your fears to help your comrades-"

He was interrupted when a fireball hit him in the back of the head and exploded, knocking him to the ground. "Yes! Direct hit!" the Monferno cheered. "And now I shall revel in your defeat, because I'm evil and that's what evil guys do! Hahahaha!"

"RAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" Matthias screamed as he reached the top of the peak and lunged towards the Monferno.

The Monferno lashed out with a Mach Punch, knocking the Rattata away and sending him rolling back down the side of the mountain. "Yes! I punched a child in the face! And I will laugh about it, because I'm evil, as I have said several times already! Ahahahaha!"

Max gulped, seeing he was the last one standing. "Um, is it too late to surrender?"

The Monferno frowned. "Come on, that's it? Seriously? You're giving in? I was expecting you guys to be a lot tougher than this. What a letdown."

"I agree," Chuck said with a disappointed sigh as he appeared nearby. "End simulation."

The mountain shimmered and resolved into the familiar setting of Chuck's dojo back in Pokémon Square. The Makuhita frowned and crossed his arms as he glared sternly at the cowering Max, the groaning Matthias, and the disheartened Pichu. "Well? What do you have to say for yourselves, boys?"

"Um…can we have a do-over?" Max asked Mareepishly.

"If it means I get to beat you up again, sure!" Ignik Firebottom said as he took off the big evil-looking helmet he'd been wearing. "You're the first opponents I've actually managed to defeat since I started serving my community service here as a punching bag, and I'd be more than happy to keep winning against _someone_ so I won't hurt as much at the end of the day as I have so far."

"Your victory was against poorly-trained children who failed to work together as a team. That doesn't make you feel the least bit embarrassed or ashamed?" Chuck asked.

"No, not really," Ignik said. "Considering how low my self-esteem is by now due to how many times I've gotten the crap beaten out of me since I started working here, any fight I can actually _win_ is good enough for me." Chuck shook his head in exasperation.

"Raaaaargggh!" Matthias shrieked as he lunged at Ignik, knocking him to the ground.

"Aaaahhh! Get him off! Get him off! Get him off!" Ignik screamed as the Rattata clawed and bit at him. Chuck grabbed Matthias by the scruff of his neck and flung him into a wall. "My hero!" Ignik sighed in relief. Chuck kicked him. "Ow! What was that for?"

"For needing me to do that at all. The kids aren't the only ones whose performance is being evaluated," Chuck reminded him.

Pichu winced, ears lying flat against his head as Matthias moaned and picked himself up. "Was that really necessary?"

"Yes," Chuck said. "Matthias! What the hell did you think you were doing? The session was over! There was no reason for you to keep attacking him!"

"No reason? No reason?" Matthias snapped angrily. "He's a barbarian! The barbarian who destroyed my family!"

"Hey now, they're still alive," Ignik said helpfully.

"Only a handful! I used to have dozens of siblings and cousins and aunts and uncles! Now all that's left are a few of my sisters and one of my aunts! Everyone else is _dead!_" Matthias snarled.

Ignik cowered. "Yes…well…technically, that's not my fault. I mean, yeah, I led the attack on your home, but it was the _other_ guys who killed your family, I was too busy chasing after you to partake in that. And later on I was too busy doing grunt work to do anything to your family once they were our prisoners, too. So really, it's totally unfair for you to hold me accountable for all that…" Pichu and Max sweatdropped.

"But none of them are here now, so all I have is you to blame! Besides, you led the attack in the first place, so it _is_ your fault!" Matthias retorted. "_And_ you killed my grandfather!"

"It was self-defense! He was coming at me with a weapon!" Ignik protested.

"_It was a walking stick!_" Matthias yelled.

"Yes, one with lots of sharp-looking splinters! Besides, the way he was brandishing it and whacking the others with it, I figured I might as well kill him before I got a bump on the noggin too, those really hurt," Ignik said reasonably. Pichu and Max facepalmed.

Chuck bonked Ignik on the head. "You have one now. Matthias, while you have every reason in the world to hate Ignik, that doesn't give you the excuse to kill him."

"Yeah!" Ignik jeered. Chuck hit him. "Ow…"

"Why not?" Matthias demanded.

"Because we gave him sanctuary. We held a fair trial-" Chuck said.

"Completely rigged, you mean," Ignik said. Chuck hit him. "Ow…."

"And gave him a sentence befitting his crimes," Chuck continued.

"Fair? It should have been a death sentence!" Matthias insisted.

"Well, normally it would have been, but we made a deal with his brother and agreed to spare Ignik in exchange for Goku and his mons joining us and rescuing the missing Rescue Teams from Vientown and Seasonsburg. As a result, he's performing community service indefinitely rather than swinging from a noose in town square," Chuck said.

"There are times I'm starting to wonder if I'd have been better off at the gallows…" Ignik muttered. Chuck hit him again. "Ow…you're kind of proving my point…"

"I thought Pokémon Square was supposed to be a refuge from barbarians…since when do we make deals with and shelter them?" Matthias demanded.

"We don't," Chuck said.

"Then how do you explain him or Goku or the others?" Matthias yelled.

"They aren't barbarians anymore," Chuck said.

"Yeah, we aren't barbarians anymore!" Ignik jeered. Chuck hit him. "Ow..."

Matthias growled in frustration. Chuck sighed. "Matthias, look, I understand how you feel. You aren't the only one in town who's not one hundred percent happy with our new residents. But we need their help, and they aren't going to be leaving anytime soon, so there's nothing else we can do but present a stiff upper lip and move on."

"You're asking me to forgive him, after everything he did?" Matthias demanded.

"I already told you, I didn't even _do_ that much!" Ignik protested. Chuck hit him. "Ow…"

"I'm not asking you to forgive him, just…try and be mature and not go into a blind frenzy and try and kill him whenever you see him, okay?" Chuck asked. "You can hate him all you want, just so long as you don't let it interfere with what's really important." He frowned. "And speaking of which…that's why you failed today's test. You forgot your training, discarded your weapon, and abandoned your teammates just to get a shot at Ignik. Is that the sort of thing a member of a Rescue Team is supposed to do?"

Matthias looked at the ground, ashamed. "I…no, I guess it's not."

"That's what _I_ tried to tell you," Pichu grumbled.

"Don't think you're getting off easy either, Pichu. You and Max both screwed up immensely as well," Chuck said.

Pichu blinked. "Huh? What did I do? I went after Matthias to provide backup and tried to give Max an inspiring speech to come and help out, just like a team leader should!"

"Yes, but you also let down your guard and got a fireball to the back of the head," Chuck pointed out. "Out in the field, something like that would get you killed. Would your dad fall victim to something like that?"

"…No, I guess not," Pichu admitted.

"And Max, I'm almost as disappointed in you as I am in Matthias. At least he _tried_ attacking, even if he abandoned his teammates to do it and showed no tactical forethought whatsoever," Chuck finished, glaring at the Treecko.

Max grimaced. "Sorry. I'm…not used to combat. I left that more to my sister…"

"Well, you're going to have to get used to it, because you'll be seeing a lot of it in the future," Chuck said.

"Do I have to? Can't I just train to be an Operator or something?" Max begged. "I don't even _want_ to be on a Rescue Team!"

"Your father's rather insistent on you joining one, so no," Chuck said. "And in any event, even if you _did_ become an Operator, you'd still need to learn how to defend yourself in case of emergencies."

Max sighed. "I guess so…"

Chuck glanced at a clock on the wall. "I'm afraid our time's up for the day, boys. Meet me back here same time tomorrow and we'll try this again. I hope by then you'll have managed to work out some of your issues, or else I don't see much of a future for any of you as protectors of this town."

"But don't hurry too much to resolve them," Ignik said hopefully. "I'm rather enjoying being actually able to win against someone for a change!" Chuck hit him. "Ow…"

Dejected, they left the dojo. "Well, that could have gone better," Max said with a sigh.

"Tell me about it," Pichu grumbled. "Geez, I thought when I picked both of you guys for teammates, I'd be getting real winners, not…what you were back there." He didn't mention the other reason he'd picked them to form a Rescue Team…how he hoped that together, they might be able to accomplish a feat great enough to earn him a name of his own. Before, there'd been little pressure, since he was only the second son and everyone knew that Pikachu would probably do something really big and important enough to warrant getting a name before he would, but now that his mother had laid her third egg, tendrils of desperation had slowly worked their way into his heart. He needed to find some way to get a name, and soon, before the egg hatched, because otherwise there would be _two_ Pichus, and he'd probably be renamed Pichu One or Pichu A, and he didn't want to be called Pichu One or Pichu A! What kind of a name was that? Even if it would only be a temporary designation, it implied there was something common and unoriginal about him (admittedly, so did being named Pichu, but at least he was the _only_ person he knew that was named Pichu, which would only last until his new sibling hatched), and he desperately did not want to be thought of as common and unoriginal. So he sought to do the impossible by forming a Rescue Team in hopes that they would manage some epic adventure big and impressive enough to award him a true name…before his brother got his own name, and his new sibling hatched, as implausible as that sounded. Now, as he saw just how far he and his teammates had to go to even consider accomplishing something like that, he realized how very slim his hopes of getting a name this way were. _Maybe I should reconsider my options…there has to be _some_ way for a kid my age to make a name for himself around here!_ He thought to himself.

"Sorry," Matthias apologized. "I'll try not to let it happen again, okay? It's just…that monkey makes me so _angry…_"

"Me too, but you don't see me doing a suicide run like you did," Pichu said. "Look, I know you have every reason in the world to want him dead, but like Chuck said…you have to put it behind you and move on. You don't have to forgive the guy; just try not to kill him all the time, okay?"

"Okay," Matthias said reluctantly.

"And Max, we've gotta toughen you up somehow, mon. We can't have you hiding behind a rock whenever we get into a real fight!" Pichu said to the Treecko.

"I know," Max said unhappily. "I guess I'm so used to watching fights from a safe distance on a screen I'm just not ready to actually be a part of one."

"Well, we're supposed to meet Team GX, Team Pokepals, and Team Go-Getters at the beach now that we're done with training, so maybe we can beat the wimpiness out of you in a few practice rounds," Pichu said optimistically. "It's worked wonders for Matthias."

The Rattata grimaced. "'Wonders' isn't really the word I'd use to describe it…"

"Yeah, but you're walking on your hind legs more often and are better with a sword now, aren't you?" Pichu pointed out. "Max is already halfway there with the walking part, now we just need to make him a fighter. He's got the mind of a genius strategist, now we have to give him the body and reflexes to match. Then he'll be as cool as his dad…both of them, that is!"

"I hope so…" Max said dubiously. "Though I've got a long way to go before I'm anywhere near as cool as Dad or…Lucas…"

"I don't think I'll ever be as cool as our Dad, either," Matthias confessed. Pichu smiled, pleased that his adopted brother finally seemed to be comfortable with referring to Raiki as his father, unlike Max, who'd only recently learned that Lucas Emeril was apparently his genetic father by a Tropius who he'd had a fling with long before settling down with Mika (Something the clingy Meganium was still rather enraged about, even though it had been years and years ago. She'd always thought that Kira had been her mate's first offspring, and was more than a little pissed that someone else had apparently beaten her there first.) and was still coming to terms with it. "But…I'm willing to try. It's the least I can do for the town that took me in and saved what's left of my family, right?"

And speaking of his family… "Matthias Shorttail! There you are! I've been looking all over for you!" a female Raticate growled as she scampered over, a peeved look on her scarred face. Her whiskers twitched in displeasure when she noticed who Matthias was with. "Oh. And…I see you're still hanging out with _them, _are you? Matthias, I've told you you're not to be hanging out with the likes of them! They aren't _like_ us!"

Matthias sighed wearily, having heard this diatribe several times by now, ever since she'd recovered enough from her ordeal in the breeding pits to regain the ability to speak. "They're my _friends_, Aunt Mollie. And they're more like us than you think."

"They live in artificial dwellings, they rely on weapons and devices that do the work for them and make them grow soft, live in groups far too big that do untold damage to the environment…how are they anything like us?" Mollie, Matthias's aunt, demanded.

"We could probably make a list, ma'am, but you wouldn't listen to me…and to be honest, right now I wouldn't _want_ to be anything like you," Pichu said drily.

Mollie glared at Pichu. "I wasn't talking to you, abomination. I'm talking to my nephew. Matthias, get away from them, I'm taking you home. We're leaving this wretched place."

"No, Auntie. I've told you already, I don't want to leave. _This_ is my home now," Matthias said, gnashing his teeth in frustration.

She gave him an incredulous look. "_This_ is your home? Living in something shaped like a Pikachu's head, being part of a 'family' of mixed species without true blood ties, walking on your hind legs, wielding a _sword_…what are you thinking, Matthias? Have you been with them so long you've forgotten who you really are? This is not natural, Matthias! None of it is! This is not where you belong!"

"And where _do_ I belong, Auntie?" Matthias demanded. "Living in the wild, having to forage for food and shelter, huddling against others to keep from dying of cold or rain in the wet seasons, always hungry, always fearing that my next day will be my last as I die at the claws of a bigger predator or worse, a barbarian? _That's_ where I belong?"

"Yes!" Mollie insisted. "It may not be the best life, but it's the one Arceus created you to live! Pokémon like these, who try to make their own way, are defying His will. They have the arrogance to think they can presume His intent, that they know better! Are you saying that you, too, now think you know better than the Creator, Matthias?"

"Well, no, but-" Matthias protested.

"But nothing! This way of life is unnatural and an affront to Arceus! It's nothing more than a mimicry of a dead race…humanity lived this way, and they're dead now, so clearly they were wrong to do it, and Pokémon trying to imitate that style are even more in the wrong! All they are doing is dooming themselves!" Mollie insisted.

"Lady, Pokémon have been living like this for almost a thousand years now, and while civilizations have risen and fell, the fact that so many of us still live like this must mean we're doing _something_ right," Max argued.

"Oh? Then why have so many cities been destroyed in the past year? Why is this foul place the last holdout against the natural way on the continent?" Mollie shot back.

"Uh, because the barbarians destroyed them all?" Pichu said.

"Sort of like they destroyed our family?" Matthias pointed out.

"If they did so, they were only carrying out Arceus's will. This is his Judgment upon you blasphemers who seek to defy nature!" Mollie spat.

"Then was it Arceus's will that our family was destroyed, Auntie?" Matthias snapped, fed up with his aunt. "That you be enslaved, most of you killed by overwork or being raped to death by the barbarians? That you and my sisters were forced to lie at the bottom of a pit, serving as sex toys? Are you saying Arceus decreed _that_ happen, too?"

"I'm pretty sure that _you're_ the blasphemer here, not us, if you're saying He'd do something like that," Pichu agreed.

"…Life is about survival. The strongest live, while the weakest do not," Mollie said after a moment. "Our ordeal was terrible, yes, but it was also a test to see which of us truly deserved to live. My suffering was horrible, but at the end of it I was one of those lucky enough to deserve to keep my life. Your parents and most of the others…sadly, were not. It is regrettable, but that is what happens. It is the way of the world and of nature, and it cannot be changed. It is madness to even think of such a thing."

"…Auntie, you're insane," said a disgusted Matthias.

"And you are not, for choosing to live with these abominations?" Mollie demanded. "You walk like them, act like them, talk like them! The same Pokémon who shelter our family's killers…these are the people you wish to emulate?"

Matthias hesitated at that. "I…"

"We're _also_ the same people who saved your ass," Pichu said, getting annoyed. "Or did you conveniently forget that? Would you have preferred we left you there in the breeding pit to be rutted and impregnated and blown up with the rest of the volcano?"

"If I was there, it is because I was meant to be," Mollie raved.

"Then by the same logic, if you're here, it's because you were also meant to be," Max pointed out reasonably. "You claim to hate us because we're 'unnatural,' but aren't the barbarians as well, since they band together in overlarge groups and seek to dominate and subjugate weaker Pokémon? Yet you seem to hate our kind, who _rescued_ you, more than you hate the ones who imprisoned and violated you? That doesn't make a lot of sense."

"They are cruel, but so is nature. They seek to restore the world to its true state. If there are Pokémon not strong enough to survive it, that's their fault, isn't it?" Mollie said.

"…Then you're saying our relatives, my parents and siblings and _your _parents and siblings, died and it was _their_ fault?" Matthias asked incredulously.

She blinked in confusion. "Of course. If it hadn't been, why would they have died?"

They stared at her blankly. "Okay, I give up. Trying to understand her reasoning makes my head hurt," Pichu complained.

"It's an insult to logic," Max agreed.

Matthias shook his head wearily. "Whatever. Come on guys, let's go to the beach."

"Wait! You're leaving?" Mollie asked in confusion when Matthias turned away.

"Uh, yeah. My friends are waiting for me," Matthias said.

"They are not your friends! They are not true Pokémon!" Mollie insisted.

"And you are?" Matthias asked skeptically.

"Yes, as are you! Which is why we must take your sisters and leave here before it is too late, and your transformation into…into _them_ is complete!" Mollie said.

"Auntie, my sisters are currently pregnant, still recovering in the Pokémon Center from all the abuse they went through, and half-insane," Matthias said flatly. "They're in no condition to go _anywhere_, especially with you."

"If they are unable to survive, then it is regrettable, but there is nothing more that can be done for them," Mollie said.

"Then there's nothing more that can be done for me either, because I'm not leaving," Matthias said stubbornly. "You may think that lifestyle is the ideal way to live, but not me. Not anymore. I've had a taste of what life really is, and I don't want to go back to spending every second fearing it will be my last again. If that's what you really want, then go ahead and leave. I'm staying here."

"But…but I can't leave!" Mollie protested. "Not without you or your sisters…"

"Why not?" Matthias asked angrily. "Didn't you say the strong survived, and implied you were strong enough to do so, stronger than us? Why would you possibly need 'weaklings' like us to tie you down?"

"Because…because you're all I have left," Mollie said weakly. "Everyone else is gone. I don't…I don't want to be alone…"

Matthias hesitated at this, his heart softening. "…If you want to be with us, then stay here. There's plenty of room, and you'd be more than welcome to join the family."

"She would?" Pichu asked doubtfully. Matthias glared at him. "Er, I mean, sure we would. Yeah."

"It wouldn't be the weirdest addition to the Thunderblades," Max noted.

"You've only been here for a few days," Pichu said in annoyance. "I don't think you're in any position to judge that!"

"Oh, I think I've seen enough by now to make a reasonable assessment," Max said.

"Join the…you so callously discard your family for people like them?" Mollie asked incredulously. "And dare to ask me to do the same?"

"I didn't discard anyone, Auntie. They took me in. They may not be related to me by blood, but…they're my kin just as much as you are," Matthias said. "And they could be your kin too, if you'd let them."

"…I cannot. I do not belong here, Matthias, and neither do you," Mollie said. "No matter how much you deny it, no matter how much you claim otherwise, you are not like them, and you never can be. Give up this farce and come away with me to the wilds, where both of us belong. There we can begin anew."

"…I'm sorry Auntie, but I can't," Matthias said. "I've already begun anew…and I have no intention of ending it like this. Hopefully my sisters will feel the same way when they're fully recovered…as will you, someday."

"Matthias!" Mollie shouted as he walked away. "You cannot turn your back on me! You cannot turn your back on who you really are!"

"I'm not," Matthias said as he rejoined Pichu and Max and headed for the beach. "I already know who I am."

"Dude, that sounded totally awesome," Pichu said once they were out of earshot.

"Yeah, really hardcore!" Max agreed.

"You don't think it was overdoing it a bit much?" Matthias asked anxiously, expressing the doubt he'd been feeling for the entirety of his confrontation with his aunt. "I didn't want to hurt her feelings…and she's clearly not doing too well. She needs help…"

"She was hurting your feelings and insulting our town and family, so you were well within your rights to hurt hers," Pichu said. "But…you're right, she does need help. Hopefully she'll let us give it to her rather than letting her madness destroy her."

"I guess…" Matthias said dubiously.

"You didn't say anything that didn't need to be said," Max assured him. "Maybe it'll help her reconsider her choice of lifestyle and think about settling down here."

"Or maybe it'll make her kill herself," Pichu said. Matthias gasped, and Max glared at him. "What? It could happen!"

"Maybe I should go back and apologize," Matthias said, feeling overwhelmed with guilt.

"No mon, that'll ruin any progress you might have made," Pichu said.

Max nodded. "He's right. I doubt she gave up that easily, so she'll probably show up later to harangue you some more."

"I suppose…" Matthias murmured.

"Now come on, let's get to the beach," Pichu said. "The others have been waiting for us long enough, don't you think?"

Max nodded. "The girls will have more than a few words for us."

"Is your other sister anything like Collette and Kira?" Pichu asked.

Max laughed. "Ha! She's worse. At least she's gotten old enough to start looking at boys rather than bothering me…though I don't know what she sees in Drew. He's so…girly. Well, not as girly as that Harley guy, but still…"

Pichu shuddered. "I hear you, mon. I can't imagine what Collette's going to be like when she finally shows an interest in guys…and I bet poor Gilbert wished Kira hadn't hit that stage in her life so early. I blame her mother's genes, there's something about them that seems to be hardwired for obsessive stalker-ish tendencies."

Max nodded in agreement. "Certainly not what I expected in a younger half-sister. Matthias, what are your sisters like?"

Matthias blinked. "Huh? Well, I don't know what they're like _now_ on account of their having lost most of their sanity due to their weeks of Abyssal torture and repeated violations in Mt. Blaze, but before all that they were…"

As the three friends walked away, talking about girls, Mollie sighed in despair, whiskers sagging in sadness. "Nephew…why do all my attempts to reach you fail?"

…

Meanwhile, in Almiore…

"Are we there yet?" Evan asked.

"No, Evan," said Gary.

"Are we there yet?" Evan asked.

"No, Evan," said Mary.

"Are we there yet?" Evan asked.

"No, Evan," Maren said.

"Are we there yet?" Evan asked.

"No, Evan," Jerry said.

"Are we there yet?" Evan asked.

"If you ask that again, I will cut your tongue off," Janine said. Evan was silent after that. This may have been a bit of a bad thing, though, because now there was nothing to take their minds off the fog.

They were traveling through the Chroma Highlands, a misty realm of high buttes and cliffs, rocky plains, and lots of rather dense fog. They hadn't been able to see the Sun since they had arrived at the Highlands a day or two ago (Or had it been longer? Shorter? It was a little hard to tell time, especially when their watches had broken due to Evan accidentally getting them wet.) after departing Pueltown, and the dim light and inability to see very far ahead was rather unnerving. They had to stick together to keep from getting separated by accident or picked off one by one by the hostile Pokémon in the area. Not that there were many of those, either…even they seemed spooked by the fog.

"Remind me why neither of you have used Defog to clear the air yet?" Mary asked the two Flying-type Pokémon in the party.

"Because if we can see clearly, then so can any enemies in the area," Janine reasoned. "And since we are uncertain what happened to the Mirage Kingdom soldiers who came to this realm, it may be best if we tried not to attract too much attention to ourselves."

"OW!" Evan shouted extremely loudly as he slithered face-first into a rock. "Where'd that come from? Ssstupid rock! Diiiiiieee!" He spat Acid, causing it to melt in a very noisy sizzling mess. "Hahahaha! Yeah, take that, rock! Who'sss the mon now, huh?"

"Yyyyyeah, that's gonna be a problem," Gary said flatly as the others sweatdropped.

"I guess that means I shouldn't use Sunny Day, either," Jerry lamented. "Which is a pity, because I could use some nourishing sunlight right about now."

"What, you don't like our rations? They're good for you!" Gary said.

"That's debatable, especially the way you make them," Mary said.

"Hey!" Gary said indignantly.

"So, any idea how much farther we need to go?" Maren said loudly to change the subject.

Gary took out the incomplete Magnificent Compass and examined it. "Well, according to this, we're going in the right direction towards the Chroma Ruins."

"However, there's no way of telling how much more we have to travel before we get to them," Mary said with a sigh. "Which means we may still have days ahead of us before we get to our destination."

"OW!" Evan shouted extremely loudly as he slithered face-first into another rock. "Where'd that come from? Ssstupid rock! Diii-" He paused, taking a second look at the rock, realizing to his surprise it wasn't a rock at all. "Hey guysss, I found sssomething!"

"Or we may be already there," Janine commented as they rushed over to Evan and found that he had bumped into a large, very old and worn statue of a Skarmory. There were statues of other Pokémon just ahead in various states of disrepair surrounding a crumbling staircase carved into the side of a cliff face.

"We have to climb all those stairs?" Jerry asked in dismay, seeing how they seemed to rise up until they vanished from view…though, considering the fog, that wasn't very far.

Gary checked his compass. "Yep. Looks that way."

"Good thing we can fly," Maren said, spreading her wings. "Well, half of us, anyway."

"I don't sssuppossse you could carry usss?" Evan asked hopefully.

"You're too heavy," Janine said, glancing at Mary, who flushed self-consciously.

"I'm not," Jerry pointed out.

"So you aren't," Gary said, picking up the Cherubi easily.

"But where doesss that leave usss?" Evan complained.

"Having to do things the hard way," Mary said with a weary sigh.

"I don't sssuppossse _you_ could carry me?" Evan asked hopefully.

"No," Mary said bluntly. He groaned.

They started up the stairs, unaware that they were being watched by a mysterious figure that narrowed its eyes before bounding swiftly up the cliff, so that it would arrive at the top before the travelers. Team Nightshade made it to the apex of the stairs several minutes behind it, Evan complaining all the way about how much he hated slithering up stairs because it made his belly hurt from having to kink and unkink so many times. Janine's repeated threats and even her holding a knife to his throat had failed to shut him up, so they were all in a rather foul mood when they reached the plateau at the top of the stairs and saw what lay before them.

"What, these are the Chroma Ruins? I thought they'd be bigger," Maren said cynically as she appraised the numerous tall pillars surrounding a thick stone slab with strange carvings on it standing before them. There was nothing else on the plateau, aside from some oddly-shaped boulders scattered all over the place.

Gary checked his compass. "Well, we're in the right place…unless this stupid thing is broken, which, considering we're still missing a few pieces, is not implausible."

"Ssso we came all thisss way and climbed all thessse ssstairsss only to hit a dead end?" Evan screamed in dismay.

"You're lucky I didn't knock you back down the stairs when you were whining incessantly, then you'd hit a dead end of your own…" Mary grumbled.

"I believe the ruins are beneath us," Janine said, glancing at the ground and noticing how the slab was surrounded by numerous very old tiles that looked like they once had colorful mosaics etched on them. "That slab is covering the entrance."

"So we have to push it off?" Mary asked dubiously, eyeing the thick black mass of stone. "I'm strong, but I'm not sure I can push something that heavy on my own."

"What about us?" Gary asked.

"I'm strong, but I'm not sure I can push something that heavy on my own," she repeated pointedly. Gary sweatdropped.

"Maybe we can melt it?" Jerry suggested. "Evan, do you think you could dissolve that slab like you did the boulder earlier?"

"Good idea, then he could be useful for a change," Janine muttered.

Evan glared at her. "Sssure, I could give it a go." He slithered over to the slab, reared back his head, inhaled deeply, and…

"HALT!" a shrill voice rang out across the plateau, causing Evan to swallow the Acid he'd been about to hock up and nearly gag himself. "Desecrate that slab in any way, and it shall be the last thing you ever do!"

Everyone tensed and glanced around warily, looking for a threat. "Who's there?" Gary called, half-expecting to be attacked at any moment.

"I am the guardian of these ruins…leave this sacred ground at once, before you are interred here, like the rest of the honored dead!" the voice warned them.

"Janine, can you tell where it's coming from?" Maren whispered to her lover.

"No, the fog and the acoustics on this plateau are making it difficult," Janine replied.

Maren smirked. "Then let's see if we can't do something about that, shall we?"

Janine nodded, and the two rose into the air, flapping their wings vigorously and sending blue energy waves in every direction as they used Defog. As the blades struck the mist, it dissipated, melting away bit by bit to reveal more of the plateau. Gradually, more details of their surroundings became visible, so that they could see more of the weathered old carvings on the pillars, notice more of the intricate design on the mosaic surrounding the slab…and realize, much to their horror, that what they had taken to be boulders weren't boulders at all, but grave markers. _Lots_ of grave markers.

"Are those…the graves of everyone who's come here before us?" Jerry gasped in alarm.

"Well, at leassst we'd get a niccce view if we die here," said Evan, marveling at how much of the highlands they could see from their vantage point now that the fog had been partially cleared away. "Well, assside from the fog, anyway."

"Yes, except we'd be too dead to enjoy it," Mary pointed out. "As well as underground."

"Not if we came back asss a Ghossst like Gary," Evan countered.

"Yes, but I think I speak for all of us when I'd say I'd like to avoid that option if at all possible," Maren said.

Janine nodded in agreement. "Indeed."

With the disappearance of the fog also came the discovery of the ruins guardian's location: standing atop one of the tall pillars surrounding the slab. The petite figure jumped from its perch, flipped elegantly through the air, and landed neatly on its hindpaws atop the slab, glaring at them angrily. They gasped, for much to their amazement their antagonist was…

"That's…a Riolu?" Maren cried in amazement.

"And one who seems to think she's a Cubone, too," Mary commented, noting how the small blue pup was wearing a helmet made from the skull of what looked like a Lucario over her head, her red eyes looking at them furiously through the skull's eyeholes. "You don't suppose that's her mother's skull, do you?"

"I alwaysss found that practiccce kinda creepy," Evan said, turning green.

"My patience is running dangerously low," the Riolu warned them ominously. "I warned you once to leave, and you did not heed me. The only reason you were not slain on the spot is because you have one of the holy dead with you…but not even that will spare you from my wrath! Depart from this place, or you shall become a part of it, forever!"

They blinked. "Holy dead? What's she talking about?" Jerry asked.

"She can't be talking about…Gary, can she?" Maren wondered dubiously.

Evan nodded. "Yeah, he'sss about asss far from a holy ghossst asss you can get without being Giratina."

"Hey!" Gary shouted. Fuming, he glared at the Riolu. "Look, kid, we mean you no harm. We aren't here to desecrate your ruins or the remains of your ancestors or whatever you're guarding this place for. We're here for one thing and one thing only: a fragment of the Magnificent Compass. If you let us get that, we promise we won't touch anything else. We'll be in and out of the ruins, just like that. You won't even know we're there."

"What!" Evan cried in disbelief. "No more treasssure looting? Blasssphemy!"

"Evan, you're not helping," Mary hissed, elbowing her…close relative hard.

The Riolu narrowed her eyes. "The shard of the Magnificent Compass? That is what the Pokémon who came before you desired as well."

Maren gasped. "You mean the Mirage Kingdom soldiers we sent out to find it? What did you do to them?"

"Killed them, obviously," Janine said. "It's what I would have done."

The Riolu shook her head. "No, but I would have had they not run off into the mists with their tails between their legs when they saw what power I brought to bear against them. The shard is the greatest of treasures held in these ruins. All who seek it must die. It must not be removed from its resting place."

"But we need it for a good cause!" Gary protested. "We don't want any trouble!"

"Your cause matters little to me. I am tasked with protecting these ruins from all outsiders, no matter which way their hearts incline. If you desire the shard, then I have no choice but to grant you death's blessing, and free you from the constricting chains of life," the Riolu said coldly. She pulled off a thick stick that had been tied to her back and flicked it, causing it to extend on either end with a loud snap and for a wickedly curved blade to unfold from its tip, creating a ghoulish scythe. Light purple Aura blazed to life around her body, channeling up her arms and into the scythe, causing it to glow with an eerie light. With a great cry, she swung the blade downwards, driving it into the ground, splitting the tiles and causing lines of energy to surge out in every direction.

Team Nightshade jumped back in alarm, but were surprised to see the energy lines weren't going anywhere near them. Rather, they were flowing towards the grave markers… "Why do I have a very bad feeling about this?" Jerry moaned as the carvings on the markers started glowing and the ground started to shake.

"Because I think we just stepped into a zombie movie," Mary said as the ground around the markers erupted and several dozen very dead Pokémon burning with the same Aura as the Riolu clawed their way to the surface, ornate cloth and ceremonial jewelry hanging from their desiccated flesh as they rose from their graves.

"Actually, thossse are mummiesss, not zombiesss," Evan corrected as the animated corpses lurched towards them.

"How can you tell?" Gary asked.

"Zombiesss are generally rotting and have flesssh conssstantly falling off. Thessse guys ssstill have mossst of their ssskin, and it looksss rather dry and ssshriveled, indicating it'sss been embalmed to lassst longer rather than jussst being ssshoved in a coffin and tosssed wholesssale into the ground," Evan explained. "Additionally, the ssstuff they're wearing resssemblesss the sssortsss of ssstuff other culturesss often bury their mummiesss with to help them ressst peacccefully in the hereafter, while zombiesss usssually don't get anything _nearly _asss niccce to wear to their gravesss."

"That's very nice and all but WHY SHOULD WE GIVE A DAMN?" Mary shouted.

Evan recoiled, hurt. "Well, becaussse we don't have to worry about turning into a mummy if we get bitten by one, that'sss why."

"…Oh. That actually is a good thing to know. Thanks, Evan," Mary said apologetically, causing the Ekans to beam.

"How do you know all this anyway?" asked an amazed Gary.

"I watch too many horror moviesss," Evan explained.

"Mummy, zombie…either way, they are dangerous undead, and we must destroy them before they add us to their ranks," Janine said, drawing her kunai.

"Well, at least it's not demons," Maren said.

"I'm sure we'll run into my Dad and the others again sooner or later," Jerry said.

"Yes, but not now," Gary said. "Right now we've got other problems to deal with…huh, I bet Team Aurabolt never had to worry about mummies! This'll certainly be something to brag about later!"

"Your confidence is surprising…but rather misplaced, since nearly every adventuring party who has come before you has felt the same way before succumbing to the loving embrace of death," the Riolu said. She pointed her scythe at Team Nightshade. "Go, my brothers and sisters! Grant them release from the prison of the flesh! Welcome them to their new home by your side!" The mummies shambled forwards to do just that.

"Okay gang…this is going to be our first real fight as a team, so let's make it count!" Gary said.

"What about the fight against Team Perdition?" Maren asked.

"We weren't a team then, officially," Gary pointed out. "So…let's do this! For lack of a better battle cry, RAAAAAHHHHHH!"

"RAAAAHHHHHH!" the others echoed as they charged forwards, ready to meet the undead and their maker in pitched battle.

The Riolu smirked as she brandished her scythe and bounded forward to join the fray. _This should not last too long…soon I shall have some new siblings, and perhaps I, too, will at long last be granted the secrets of undeath!_

…

Meanwhile, in Mahjong City…

The Pokémon filling the floor of the Mahjong City Convention Center burst into wild applause as a one-eyed purple-maned Rapidash and a Bastiodon walked onto the stage, spotlights focused on them and a Jumbotron screen overhead magnifying them so those furthest from the stage could see what they were doing as they approached a podium. The Rapidash leaned forward so his muzzle was almost touching the microphone on the stand and said, "Greetings, aspiring Duelists of all ages! Welcome to the 10th Annual Lu-Gi-Oh World Championships!" The Pokémon cheered raucously, raising their favorite cards in the air, quite a few of them dressed as their favorite characters from the anime or manga. "I'm Mr. Bellerophon, head of Conaneye's Lu-Gi-Oh division, and I'll be your host and the judge of this tournament! And with me is our celebrity guest judge, a personage I think _all_ of you should recognize, legendary voice actor Dan Yellow!"

The Pokémon cheered even _louder_, and the whole building seemed to shake as the Bastiodon approached the microphone. Bellerophon frowned, slightly miffed that Yellow had gotten more cheers than him. Sure, he'd voiced some of the most popular characters on the show, but _he_ was the guy responsible for putting out the children's card game and making it such a big hit… "Greetings, Duelists!" Dan Yellow said, his deep, sonorant voice causing many fans to squeal in delight, because he sounded exactly like their favorite character from the show, Yami Lugi, the ancient Pharaoh's Spirit who possessed Lugi's magical Centennial Puzzle and swapped bodies with the younger Lugia for major Duels, without anyone seeming to notice the size, voice, and personality change whenever that happened. "It is an honor to be here today to bear witness to this tournament, to all you passionate young souls Dueling it out for fame, glory, and the coveted title of the world's greatest player of a children's card game!"

"And that's not _all_ they're playing for," Bellerophon butted in, well aware that if Yellow had the microphone for too long the Duelists would forget he even existed. "The grand prize for this year's tournament is the ultra-rare one-of-a-kind Spell Card, Ultimate Fusion, a card so powerful even _we're_ not sure just what it's capable of!" A spotlight shone down on a case nearby where a card with the image of millions of multicolored lines converging on a single point was displayed. The crowd gasped in awe.

"This coveted card will go to the last Duelist standing, the Duelist who proves him or herself to be the best the world has to offer," Dan Yellow explained. "With subsequently lesser but still valuable prizes for those who can't quite make the cut: second place gets a ride in a Blue-Eyes White Dragonite jet like the one Saiba has on the show, and third place gets a dinner date with Internet celebrity BigKuriboh of Lu-Gi-Oh the Abridged Series, who Conaneye threatened to sue for copyright infringement if he didn't comply."

"And everyone else will receive a special limited edition Dark Mage card simply for attending," Bellerophon said. "So, without further ado, everyone form up into pairs for the elimination round, as designated by the diagram above me." As he said this, the Jumbotron's display changed from a close-up of him and Dan Yellow to a rather complicated-looking tree diagram, with little pictures and names of the various Pokémon competing assigned to each branch. "Remember to play fair and not use any broken or illegal cards, or you'll be sent straight to the Shadow Realm." There were numerous laughs at this. "But most importantly, have fun! It's time to d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-Duel!"

He waited, but nobody applauded. "We wanna hear Dan Yellow say it!" someone shouted, much to his chagrin.

"Yeah! Dan Yellow! Dan Yellow! Dan Yellow!" the crowd roared.

Dan nudged the dismayed Rapidash out of the way of the microphone and said, "It's time to d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-Duel!" The crowd cheered, and Bellerophon fumed enviously.

With the opening remarks out of the way, the Duelists paired off, took out their decks, and…sat down at the tables that had been placed in neat rows all over the convention floor, laying their cards on the waiting game boards so they could start playing. (What, you thought they were going to Duel using arm-mounted holographic projectors? Please, do you have any idea how expensive those things are?)

Dan frowned as he watched the Duelists lay down their cards, summoning monsters, declaring attacks, casting spells, and triggering traps. Even with the players shouting their moves at the top of their lungs and making dramatic flourishes, it all seemed rather…dull to watch. "Funny, it looked more exciting than this on the show."

"That's reality for you," Bellerophon muttered. He scowled. "And speaking of which, why do they love you so much, anyway? You don't even know how to play the game!"

"No, but I play a character who does," Dan said smugly, causing the Rapidash to fume.

The orderly children's card game proceeded sedately for several minutes…until…

Suddenly, one of the walls caved in with an explosion that shook the building and knocked many cards off their tables. The Duelists cried in alarm and scrambled to gather up their scattered cards, more concerned with rescuing their precious desks than worrying about any threat to their lives. "Holy Crap on a Crapsicle, what was that?" Dan cried.

"I-I don't know! Is that…" Bellerophon stared in disbelief at the being who strode into the room through the hole in the wall. "Sefirot?"

The dark-skinned swordsman grinned sinisterly as the shocked Duelists stared at him in horror, unable to believe that one of the evilest video game villains of all time was in the same room as them. They were so shocked, in fact, that they didn't even notice Mewgle coming in behind Sefirot until the demon was standing right beside him. "Well, well, will you just look at this, Sefirot?" Mewgle cackled as he gazed out at all the stunned and staring faces. "Look at all these children, playing games, dressing up as their favorite characters from a show designed solely to coerce them into buying a line of cards…aren't they adorable? Go kill 'em all!" Sefirot grinned and raised his sword.

The Duelists started panicking, rightly so. "W-wait, that's just a hologram! It can't hurt us!" one very stupid and very wrong Kricketot dressed as Weedle Overwood protested. Sefirot's sword flashed through the air, and his head and his body fell to the ground separately. The Duelists stared at the corpse in horror, then screamed and started running for their lives. Smirking sinisterly, Sefirot slowly advanced after them.

Mewgle cackled. "Gyahahaha! This is gonna be great! Oh, but just so you don't get all the fun…I think I'm gonna invite a few friends of yours to the party! You don't mind, do you?" Morphing his arm into a grotesque organic Duel Disk in sickening fashion, the demon drew a number of cards and spread them out on his Disk's panels. One by one, nine more monsters appeared throughout the room, recognizable instantly to the Duelists who were more familiar with the Last Legend video game series: Herb, an armored and caped warrior wielding a tremendous sword; the Imperator, a very effeminate male human in rather…gaudy purple and yellow robes; Storm of Light, a voluptuous pale-haired Gardevoir without a dress that had a pair of Ekans growing from her sides; Golubaeser, a black-armored Scizor; Zeedeath, a white-armored Tropius who was _far_ eviler than he looked; Kafka, the white-faced utterly terrifying Mr. Mime whose colorful robes did little to hide his boundless malevolence and pure insanity; Ultimania, a gorgeous white-haired Jynx with black feathery wings and an odd hairstyle (then again, considering some of the others, that wasn't saying much); Koja, an _extremely_ effeminate white-furred Infernape in frilly white and purple robes; and finally Jacht, a very burly (and monly) Machamp with a large black tattoo on his chest and enormous sword. Mewgle grinned with delight. "It's a Last Legend: Dissido bad guy reunion! Gyahahaha! Kill EVERYONE!" The summoned villains proceeded to do just that, gleeful smiles on their faces as they proceeded to massacre the Duelists. More than a few Pokémon tried to fight back with their attacks, but the villains shrugged them off and utterly destroyed them with their ludicrously powerful spells and physical blows. Other Duelists, apparently believing that they were now in an episode of the TV show, drew their most powerful monsters from their decks, believing they would appear to save them. They very quickly learned that they were horribly, horribly wrong.

Leaving his minions to the slaughter, Mewgle floated over to the stage, where the terrified Bellerophon and Dan Yellow were cowering. "Ooh, and who do we have here? Mr. Bellerophon and Dan Yellow, two of my favorite people related to Lu-Gi-Oh! Do you know what I'm gonna do to you?"

"L-l-let us go because you like us so much?" Bellerophon asked timorously.

Mewgle's claw shot out, ripping Bellerophon's remaining eye from its socket. "Nope." As the Rapidash howled in agony, blood spurting from his face, Mewgle licked the eyeball and laughed. "So this is what it feels like to be Yami Makura! Neat!" As he swallowed the eye, he casually backhanded Bellerophon, ripping his head off and sending it flying into the bloodbath below. "Now…what am I gonna do with you?" he asked, turning to the terrified Dan Yellow as Bellerophon's headless body fell to the ground.

"Y-y-you c-c-can't k-k-k-kill m-m-m-me," Dan stammered in abject fear. "I-I-I'm o-o-o-one of th-th-the m-m-most p-p-p-popular v-v-v-voice a-a-actors o-o-of a-a-all t-t-t-time!"

Mewgle considered this. "Hmm…you have a point there. I _am_ a big fan of your work…even _I'm_ not evil enough to kill someone as talented as you!" Dan sighed in relief. "So I'll just add you to my collection instead!" Mewgle said cheerfully, whipping out a blank card and holding it in front of the Bastiodon.

Dan's eyes widened in panic, realizing what was about to happen. "No…no! NO!" he screamed, frantically backpedaling.

But it was too late. "Prepare to spend an eternity in the second dimension! Don't worry, I'll keep you right next to my sexy lady cards, so you won't be lonely…though some of them have a thing for eating Pokémon flesh, but hey, your hide's probably too thick for them…right?" The card started glowing, and a powerful force began dragging Dan towards it. The Bastiodon dug his heels into the ground, desperately trying to gain some purchase…but it was no good, and he was pulled, screaming, into the card, his great mass shrinking down to fit in the thin piece of cardboard. The blank picture on the card flashed and resolved into the image of Dan, face twisted in a mask of utter terror and agony. "Score!" Mewgle said gleefully as he flipped the card around so he could get a good look at it. "I'll bet I'm the only guy in the whole Omniverse with a card as rare as this!" He grinned and put the card away as he strode to the nearby case containing the Ultimate Fusion Spell Card. "And soon…I'll have an even rarer one." He opened the case and stared reverently at the card nestled inside. "At last…with this card…all my dreams shall finally come to fruition…" He reached for the card…

When suddenly the lights went out. "Hey, what gives?" Mewgle cried angrily as his minions grunted in surprise and paused in their mass murder. A second later, a spotlight switched on, focusing on the main entrance to the room and illuminating…

"If we were asked…" Jessie said.

"The answer for tomorrow will be given!" James said.

"Future! White is the color of an evil future!" Jessie said.

"Universe! Black is the hammer of world justice!" James said.

"We will remember the name of this place!" Buzz…buzzed.

"Destroyer of passion, Jessie!" Jessie declared.

"Pure heart of darkness, James!" James shouted.

"Infinite intelligence, Buzz!" Buzz cried.

"Come gather! Under the name of Team Rocket!" the trio declared in unison, striking a pose as a big red R appeared from…somewhere behind them and lots of little explosions broke out all over the place.

There was a long pause. Mewgle's minions exchanged confused looks. The few Duelists still alive stared at the trio in disbelief. Mewgle facepalmed. "Oh, Ruler of Evil…I do not believe this…what are _you_ three doing here?"

"We're here for revenge!" Jessie said. "We heard there was going to be a big card tournament here, and knew you couldn't pass up a chance to make an appearance!"

"Mewgle!" James shouted, dramatically mounting a Duel Disk onto his arm and pointing at the demon. "You killed the mon I loved and fed his soul to a horrible monster…and for that, you will pay! I challenge you to a Duel!"

"No," Mewgle said.

James blinked. "Wait, what?"

"I said no," Mewgle repeated. "I don't want to Duel you."

James stammered in confusion. "But…but you're a gaming demon! You _love_ playing twisted games of fate against other people! And Duelists _have_ to accept a challenge whenever it's offered, those are the rules!"

Mewgle snorted. "Psh, yeah, on the _show._ In real life, we can be a lot more picky when it comes to who we Duel. The same applies to my status as a demon of games. Yeah, I love playing games against hapless victims…but there's no _fun_ in completely trouncing an opponent who I outmatch in every conceivable way, like you. Only Leo is worthy of a true game…and you? You're so far beneath me beating you would be nothing more than a waste of time. In fact, you're so irrelevant I'm not even going to exert the miniscule amount of effort necessary to kill you, I'll just let my friends do it for me. Guys? Kill them all, with extreme prejudice." The villains grinned sinisterly and advanced on the horrified Rockets. Seeing a chance to escape, the few living Duelists made a break for it, only for Mewgle whip out some cards and fling them at the Pokemon. The pieces of cardboard whizzed through the air and slashed through their necks, severing their carotid arteries and causing them to collapse in showers of blood as the razor-edged cards doubled back and flew into Mewgle's waiting claws. The demon cackled, licked the blood off their edges, and replaced them in his deck, exulting in the senseless violence.

"Th-this isn't right! This isn't what was supposed to happen!" James cried shrilly.

"I _knew_ this was a bad idea," Buzz moaned.

"I told you we should have gone with a giant robot! But noooo, you just _had_ to insist on challenging him to a children's card game!" Jessie snapped.

"It seemed like a good idea at the time!" James wailed.

Mewgle grinned as his minions drew back their weapons and readied their spells, preparing to kill the Rockets in an incredibly gratuitous manner…when suddenly one of the cards in his deck started glowing. "Hmm?" He removed the card and examined it. It was the card he'd used to form his pact with Leviathan. He frowned as the card pulsated, almost as if it was…communicating with him. "What's that? You say you _do_ want me to Duel him? But why? He and his friends are so pitiful, their souls won't come anywhere near satisfying your appetite." The card glowed some more. "Oh, I _see…_their suffering will make it that much more palatable, will it? Well, if you insist." He slid the card back into his deck and raised his voice. "Change of plans, guys! Looks like we're going to have a Duel after all!" The RPG villains hesitated and turned, shooting their master puzzled looks. "My partner here's hungry and in the mood for a light snack, and he figures a few souls like those three will hit the spot." The villains looked at each other, shrugged, then turned into balls of light and flew back into Mewgle's deck.

"Then…then you're going to Duel me after all?" James asked hopefully as his friends sighed in relief.

Mewgle's face split into a slow, cruel grin. "Oh yes, Jimmy-boy, we're going to Duel. We're going to Duel so hard that when I'm through with you, there'll be barely enough left of you to comprehend just how phenomenally stupid you were in thinking you actually had a _chance_ against me, and when you spend the rest of eternity being digested in Leviathan's belly, every second of your existence filled with unbearable agony and torment, all you'll be able to think about is how everything that's about to happen to you and your friends was _your_ fault, and that you should have done the smart thing and stayed away when those stupid commandoes who weren't actually wearing rubber pants sacrificed their lives to let you escape. By throwing away the reprieve they gave you, they died for nothing…and even once you've been devoured by Leviathan, you'll never, _ever_ see Mickey again, so you won't even have the solace of being with the mon you love as you are tortured for the rest of forever. Do you begin to understand just how monumentally you've screwed up in coming here and having the _balls_ to think that a worthless little clown like you could beat me?"

James and the others turned very pale. "Um…I-I don't suppose it's t-too late to back out of this, is it?" James asked timorously, as he slowly began to realize that he may have bitten off just a little more than he could chew.

"D-do we _have_ to die? I mean, we're not actually fighting, just watching from the sidelines, so no need to kill us too…right? Right?" Jessie asked desperately.

"Oh dear," Buzz said weakly, realizing he was going to die.

Mewgle laughed evilly. "Oh, you poor fools. This is going to be so easy I'm not even going to be able to enjoy myself properly as I cream you so badly there'll barely be enough left of you to feed to Leviathan. It's a good thing I have a whole city to offer him as well, or else the poor thing might starve, which isn't something we can have, now can we?" He spread his arms, the mark on his chest glowing. "So…let the game begin!"

The entire city started shaking. The citizens looked up in surprise as black clouds swirled together overhead, blotting out the sun and engulfing the city in darkness. Twin streams of purple fire erupted just outside the city limits, racing across the ground to encircle Mahjong City in a burning figure resembling a serpent eating its tail. The clouds rippled, and a similar emblem appeared on their underside, reflecting the one below. The Pokémon looked at each other in alarm, having no idea what was going on…but sensing something very bad was about to happen.

Inside the convention hall, a similar ring of purple fire had appeared, encircling Mewgle and the Rockets and creating a ring around them and the mutilated corpses littering the floor. James gasped in horror. "Oh no! It's a Shadow Duel!"

Buzz frowned in confusion. "Shouldn't we be in a dimension of pure darkness, then?"

"No, that's a Shadow Game, this is a Shadow _Duel_, it's completely different," James said, causing Jessie and Buzz to sweatdrop.

"Different _how?_" Jessie demanded.

"In a Shadow Game, if you lose, the darkness devours you," Mewgle said. "In a Shadow Duel, now, if you lose you get devoured by a giant monster of pure evil. Admittedly it's not that big a difference, except that Shadow Duels can also be conducted on motorcycles, whereas Shadow Games can't. Plus, Shadow Duels have a neater visual effect, if I do say so myself. Anyway…the stage is set, and now our game can begin. Are you ready to lose, James?"

James clenched his teeth, drawing on a hidden core of strength he hadn't even realized he possessed. "I'm ready to fight to my very last breath to avenge Mickey and save his soul and everyone else you've devoured…if I have to die to defeat you, then so be it!"

Mewgle laughed. "You _are_ going to die, James…but defeat me? There is no world in this universe or any other where such an implausible scenario could possibly come to pass, certainly not this one. But with that said…let's get this farce over with."

James nodded. "Yes…let's."

They locked their eyes and raised their Duel Disks, the displays on both of them lighting up to show the number 4000. "LET'S DUEL!"

And so the epic children's card game for the fate of Mickey's soul, Team Rocket, and all of Mahjong City began…

…

Elsewhere…

"At last! We've found it!" Tarantulas declared triumphantly as he and the rest of his party mounted a rise and stared down at a glacier sprawled across the mountainside before them. A trail wound down the side of the hill and cut across the surface of the glacier, terminating in the façade of a massive temple made of ice, metal, and stone that had seemingly been carved from the face of the great frozen mass. It was immense, and done in vaguely classical style, with towering pillars engraved with the forms of legendary Pokémon, particularly the three golems, covering its front…and a statue of a massive creature placed behind the pillars, as if caged in. Beneath the pillars was a sealed door set into the base of the structure with what looked like Braille covering its surface. "Ze resting place of ze king of ze giants! Is it not magnificent, Chobin?"

"Look Doctor, Chobin is making an angelic snow angel in the snow in the figure of an angel fallen in the snow!" Chobin said, lying on the ground and wiggling his arms and legs to make an impression in the snow. He jumped out and turned to look at his creation…and frowned when he saw that it looked like there were horns growing from his angel's head. "Awww, why are that always happening to Chobin whenever he is making an angelic snow angel in the snow in the figure of an angel fallen in the snow?"

"Because you're an idiot," Suicune said cuttingly. "So, that is our destination?"

Tarantulas nodded. "Indeed it is."

"How come we never got a temple as nice as that?" Raikou complained.

"Because nobody gave a shit about us as gods," Entei snorted. "As far as deities went, we were third-rate, always running about cleaning up other people's messes and doing the dirty work of the higher-ups…but that's all changed now that we've thrown our lot in with the winning side."

Suicune nodded. "Indeed. Once we dominate the world, I will have an enormous palace erected in my honor, one whose beauty is only rivaled by my own, with an endless supply of pleasure slaves to feed my…appetites."

"Sounds good," Raikou said. He frowned. "Hey wait, what about us?"

"I assumed you'd be too busy with the pleasure slaves in _your_ palace to bother paying me a visit," she sniffed.

"We'll always have time for you, Suicune," Entei assured her softly.

She smiled. "Well, I suppose I could make room in my busy schedule for you as well…"

"What about Chobin? Could you be penciling Chobin in for a good appointment of sex and fucking and sex and shagging and sex and rutting and sex and mating and sex and raping and sex and sex and sex?" Chobin asked hopefully. "And sex?"

"No," the three beasts said flatly. The Sunflora sulked in disappointment.

"Come," Tarantulas said, skittering past them. "Ve've come all zis vay. It's time to collect vhat ve came for."

They trekked down the trail and across the glacier towards the temple, the Nihilator troopers and the three bound golems taking up the rear as Tarantulas eagerly scurried ahead to get a better look at the temple. A handful of Nihilators slipped on the icy surface and fell to their deaths, but nobody cared very much, they were expendable after all. By the time they caught up with the mad scientist, they found the Doctor scanning the Braille markings with his robotic eye. "Hmm…yes, I see, I see…fascinating…" he murmured.

"What's it say, Doc?" Raikou asked.

"To open ze pazz to ze king of ze giants, ve must place his servants on ze pedestals zhree," Tarantulas translated.

They looked around. "What pedestals?" Suicune asked. "All I see is ice."

"And pillars…which Chobin is humping, for some reason," said a confused Raikou.

"Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Baby, be giving it to Chobin hard! Uh!" Chobin gasped.

"Why is he-" Entei started.

"Best not to zink too much about it," Tarantulas said. "Hmm…ze pedestals must be here somevhere…" He looked at the ground. "I vonder…" His robot eye turned green as he shifted into X-ray vision. "Ah, of course! Zey are right underneaz us. Entei, if you could please get rid of some of zis ice? It's getting in ze vay."

"Sure thing, Doc," Entei said. He exhaled on the ground beneath their feet. The ambient temperature of the area went up several degrees, and the ice evaporated in a cloud of steam, fogging up Tarantulas's mechanical eye and causing everyone to get all sweaty.

Tarantulas wiped his eye clean in annoyance and looked back at the ground. He grinned in delight when he saw that Entei's influx of heat had removed several layers of ice covering three pedestals placed in a triangle before the temple. Each pedestal was embossed with a series of Braille dots, and bore a remarkable resemblance to each of the three golems. "Ahhh, excellent, excellent! Just as I zhought. Quickly, bring zem over, place each golem on ze pedestal corresponding to zem!"

The Nihilators hurried to comply, pushing the floating platforms carrying the bound golems across the frozen terrain towards the pedestals. "Doctor Tarantulas, for the last time, we beg you not to do this," Regirock said.

Tarantulas and everyone burst into laughter. "Vhat, really? You really zink somezing like zat vill vork on me?" the Ariados asked incredulously.

"They don't know you very well, do they?" Raikou sneered.

"You have no idea-" Regice started.

"Vhat forces I am unleashing, how I am tampering viz powers beyond my control, yadda yadda yadda," the Ariados said, rolling his eyes. "I've heard it a zhousand times before. Get some original lines, vould you?"

Within moments, the golems were placed on their respective pedestals. The Braille dots on the pedestals glowed, as did the markings on the door, and with a great rumble it split down the middle and receded to the sides, leaving the entrance to the temple open. "Vonderful!" Tarantulas cheered eagerly. "Now ve can get inside! Come, Chobin, let us go to see ze king of ze giants…so at last, I can create ze ultimate Shadow Pokémon!"

"I, uh, can't, Doctor," Chobin said Mareepishly. "Chobin seems to be, ah, stuck fast to this pillar like something that is very sticky and cannot be removed without a great deal of exertion and pain and lots of screaming."

Tarantulas facepalmed. "Oh, Chobin, vhat am I going to do viz you? Somebody get an ice pick!"

Chobin paled in horror as one of the Nihilators pulled out a very nasty-looking spike. "N-n-now, th-that is not being the n-necessary, is it? Chobin does not want to be v-violently separated from Chobin Jr.! Chobin loves Chobin Jr. very much! So much so Chobin and Chobin Jr. are having their 'super-special fun time' several timings a day!"

"…Ew," said a disgusted Raikou.

"Don't vorry, Chobin, it'll grow back," Tarantulas said. "I zink." He gestured to the Nihilator with the ice pick. "Get him off of zere already, ve don't have all day."

The Nihilator, an Armaldo, nodded. "Yes, Doctor." He approached Chobin, who squealed in alarm and tugged at his frozen member, not wanting to be castrated, since it would hurt quite a lot and cut down significantly on his favorite activity.

Fortunately for Chobin and unfortunately for everyone else, before he could be emasculated, one of the other Nihilators cried out a warning. "Doctor, we've got inbound!" an Abomasnow shouted, pointing at a herd of a few dozen massive Mamoswine stampeding towards them across the glacier.

Tarantulas frowned. "Vat's zis all about, zen? Everybody, on your guard!"

As the Nihilators tensed and prepared for battle, Entei grinned in anticipation. "Think this means we're finally going to get a decent fight?"

"I hope so," Suicune said. "I've been bored all day. A good slaughter should get the blood pumping."

"Yeah, and not just your blood, either," Raikou said with a grin.

The Mamoswine trampled to a halt a few meters away from the Nihilators. "Intruders! Leave this sacred ground at once, or we shall drive you from here by any means necessary!" the largest and toughest-looking of the Mamoswine bellowed.

"Mmm, no, I don't zink ve vill," Tarantulas said with a yawn. "And you are?"

"We are the Snowtusk clan! We have guarded this temple for generations against all who would seek to release the king of the giants!" the Mamoswine boasted.

"Really? You're not doing a very good job of it, then, since you weren't here to meet us, and got here _after_ we opened the door leading inside," Entei said, unimpressed.

The Mamoswine turned red with anger. "Why, you…w-wait a minute. You are…you are the three legendary beasts! What are you doing, assisting these villains?"

"We got tired of being such goody-goodies…and figured it was about time we finally did something for ourselves, rather than always running around keeping imbeciles like you from getting themselves killed!" Raikou said.

"So we joined the strongest side, so that when the Nihilators prevail, we will at last have everything we ever wanted!" Suicune added.

"Th-this cannot be…what sort of spell have you cast over them to make them say such things?" the Mamoswine cried in disbelief.

"No spell," Entei said with a smirk. "We chose this of our own free will!"

"That, and Bellum was-" Chobin started, until a horrified Tarantulas covered his mouth in webbing. "Mmphmphmphmmmmpph!"

"Vhat vere you doing? Zey aren't supposed to know about zat!" Tarantulas hissed.

"Know about what?" asked a confused Raikou.

"What was that he was saying about Bellum?" Suicune asked.

"He vas saying zat Bellum is vorking on a vay to make you even _stronger,_ but it vas supposed to be a surprise," Tarantulas lied. "And now you know. Sorry."

"She is? Wow, that's awfully nice of her," said the surprised Raikou.

Entei frowned. "Yeah…almost uncharacteristically so…"

"She's not making you stronger for _your_ sakes, it's for hers," Tarantulas elaborated.

"Oh, all right then," Entei said, mollified. "That sounds more like her."

"It is a pity you do not have that extra strength now," the Mamoswine said, recovering from his shock. "Because without it, you have no hope of defeating us!"

All the Nihilators burst into laughter. "Oh, isn't zat adorable? Zey actually zink zey have a _chance_," Tarantulas gasped, wiping away a tear.

Chobin giggled, and then winced in pain. "It is giving Chobin chortles of amusement! As well as pain of ouchies…because my guffawing of joy hurts Chobin Jr…."

"We admire your courage, but please! You must get out of here!" Registeel warned the Mamoswine herd.

"They are far more powerful than you think…we believed that we were strong enough to defeat them before…and we were _wrong,_" Regice said.

"You cannot possibly win! Leave now, while you still can!" Regirock urged them.

The herd leader frowned. "I'm sorry, honored golems, but I must respectfully disagree. We are stronger than you think, too…and we cannot turn our backs on our duty! We must prevent the king of the giants from being awakened and used for diabolical purposes by the likes of these fiends! How could we possibly do anything less?"

Entei shook his head pityingly. "You know, once I was a lot like you…blindly focused on duty, always rushing about to help others and do the bidding of the gods, never taking a moment to rest or slack off out of fear that it would be dishonorable…and I never realized how much of a slave I was, a puppet of higher powers. In my blind devotion to duty, I made myself a prisoner. We _all_ did."

"But now we are free to do whatever we please…while fools like you continue to strut about, full of self-importance because you think that having some great and noble charge makes you special," Suicune sneered. "But it doesn't. All it does is make you a pawn."

"And the only purpose of a pawn is to be sacrificed when it's no longer needed," Raikou growled. "And if you're so committed to keeping us out of this temple…then right now, that sacrifice is going to be to us."

"We do not care," the Mamoswine said. "It is our purpose to protect this place. We will give our lives to do so, if that's what it will take."

Tarantulas chuckled. "And zat's vhat it _vill_ take…and in ze end, it von't be enough. Entei! Raikou! Suicune! How vould you zhree like to handle zese buffoons?"

"It would be our pleasure, Doctor," Entei said, baring his fangs in a grin.

"Juice us up, and we'll show them what _real_ power looks like!" Raikou said eagerly.

"And beauty," Suicune said. "For power is beauty, and I am at my most beautiful when I am at the peak of my strength."

"Eh, actually, Chobin is kind of being turned off by your Mode of Hyperness. It is not making Chobin Jr. stiffen with lust at all," Chobin said. Suicune responded by hitting him with an Ice Beam, freezing him solid.

Tarantulas sighed. "It's a good zing I brought along some extra cloning pods, just in case…all right! Prepare for Shadow infusion!" Three of his mechanical spider minions lit up, jumped off his body, and scurried across the ice, leaving tiny little pinprick footprints in the snow as they went. They crawled up the legs of the legendary beasts, climbed up their backs, and bit them in the back of their necks, injecting pure Shadow into their bloodstreams. They gasped, eyes bulging out of their sockets and muscles tightening until they could be seen through their skin. They ground their teeth and convulsed, waves of power rippling off of them and cracking the ground, causing the glacier to tremble.

The Mamoswine stepped back in alarm. "What…what is happening?" the leader cried.

"Your end," Tarantulas said sinisterly.

"No…" Registeel whispered. "You should have run while you had the chance."

"Now…it is too late. Far, far too late," Regice said sadly.

The three beasts threw their heads back and roared so loudly that parts of the glacier collapsed and avalanches rolled down the slopes of several nearby mountains. Auras of their respective elements blazed to life around them, shattering the ground they were standing on and towering several meters into the air before shrinking back down and coalescing, turning darker until they were pitch black, a limitless darkness that hungrily devoured the light. The Mamoswine stared in horror as the beasts began to transform before their eyes, slowly starting to realize that they might have made a mistake.

Raikou's tail went from looking like a lightning bolt to actually _being_ a lightning bolt, a crackling whip of electricity which twitched and snapped and spat sparks as it flailed about wildly. The thundercloud cape on his back turned black, grew thicker, and rumbled, lights flashing in its depths and bolts of static crackling around it. Bone spurs shaped like lightning bolts tore out of his joints and from his sides as his fur color inverted, yellow becoming black and black becoming yellow. His claws and fangs grew longer and sharper, static crackling along their lengths. The gray crest on his forehead grew two zigzagging horns from the sides and a lightning bolt-shaped blade pointing straight forward. His eyes turned as yellow as his fur had used to be. He howled, and black lightning bolts shot down all around him.

The metal bands around Entei's legs shattered, and his whole body bulked up, muscles bulging out to ridiculous extremes. His shaggy brown fur rustled and grayed until it was the color of burnt ashes. The plates on his back grew longer and sharper as more plates burst out of his sides and joints, and his gray cape changed from smoke into flame, a thick tongue of fire that roiled and burned and twisted behind him. Claws popped out of his paws, and his wrists and ankles burst into flames. The gray plate on his belly turned 180 degrees and took on the color and consistency of fire. His long mane transformed into flames, creating a burning wreath around his head. The plates covering his face rattled, and then expanded outwards, generating more plates to encircle his entire head, sprouting a pair of antlers in the process so that its resemblance to a samurai kabuto was complete. To finish it off, a single tongue of flame appeared over his head, burning with greater intensity than the rest of the fires all over his body. His eyes turned burning red, and he howled, and black flames erupted all around him.

Suicune's blue fur turned black, while the diamond-shaped spots on her sides transformed into many-armed spirals. Glittering spikes made of solid water (water, not ice, mind you) formed on her joints, and solid water spikes sprouted from her back. Claws made of water sprouted from her paws. Her purple mane shimmered and transformed into water, flowing behind her like a liquid tendril with bubbles and ice crystals drifting in its mass. Her white streamer tails grew longer, turned into water, and formed barbs at their end, lashing at the air like whips, leaving bubbles and dark auroras in their wake. Spikes grew from the sides of the hexagonal crest on her head, and an aurora-colored energy ball formed inside it. A mask made of solid water formed over her face, distorting her features and making them either ethereally beautiful or otherworldly terrifying, depending on which way you looked at it. Her eyes turned as blue as her fur had used to be. She howled, and black geysers burst from the ground around her.

The herd leader's eyes widened in horror. "No…" he whispered. "What…what is this atrocity? What have you done to yourselves?"

"We have made ourselves perfect, undying," Raikou barked, his voice snapping like a crack of lightning.

"Powerful beyond your imagining," Entei boomed, his voice like a great explosion.

"And beauteous beyond mortal ken…gaze upon us and weep, fools, for we are your end!" Suicune hissed, her voice like a raging waterfall.

"We tried to warn you…" Regirock said sadly.

"And now…now it is too late. For all of us," Registeel whispered.

"Shall we kill them, Doctor?" Raikou asked eagerly.

Tarantulas grinned. "Go ahead. Electrocute zem to deazz. Burn ze flesh from zeir bones. Drown zem beneazz your unstoppable power. Show zem zat Shadow is ze future…and zey have no part in it!"

"With pleasure!" Entei snarled.

"Come, my brothers! Let us have some fun!" Suicune said wickedly.

The corrupted trio charged towards the horrified Mamoswine as the Nihilators watched eagerly and the golems looked on in despair…knowing that before this day ended, far more people were going to die…

And there was nothing they could do about it.

…

Elsewhere…

Gardevoir opened her eyes…and was surprised to find herself inside her subconscious. "What am I doing here?" she wondered as she looked around the black space.

"You're asleep," the vampire that was the representation of her 'balanced' self said, appearing next to her.

"Well yes, I know that, but usually when I fall asleep I dream. I don't come here," said the puzzled Gardevoir.

"You came here because you are needed here," the vampire said with a frown. "Something inside us has changed…and we aren't sure what to do about it."

Gardevoir frowned as well. "Change? What do you mean?"

"Come and see for yourself," the vampire said, beckoning her. Gardevoir followed the figment of her imagination into the darkness…

And soon enough came upon her other two figments, the angel and the devil, standing with trepidation before a plain-looking door, bickering as usual. "I say we leave it alone. No good can possibly come of it," the angel said.

"Oh, come on. You can't tell me you aren't the least bit curious what's behind it?" the devil asked teasingly.

"Oh, I'm very curious. But something like that doesn't belong here. It is not…_of_ us, and something that's not a part of us shouldn't be inside us," the angel said. "Therefore, it can only be something very bad or very dangerous…and therefore we should destroy it, or leave it alone and hopefully it'll disappear on its own."

The devil snorted. "What, you're serious? That's really stupid."

"So is opening the door and getting attacked by whatever horrible _thing_ might be behind it!" the angel retorted.

"Please, we could take it," the devil scoffed.

"Could we now? What if it's a trap of Oblivion's Shadow?" the angel asked skeptically.

"Then we'll just kick him out like we did before," the devil said. "No problem."

"No problem? We only _barely_ managed to do it before. The next time we may not be so lucky," the angel said.

The devil rolled her eyes. "Geez, you're such a pessimist. I thought angels were supposed to be more optimistic."

"We are, but there's not much to be optimistic about these days," the angel pointed out. "So I find the sudden appearance of this…whatever-it-is to be very suspicious."

"So do I, which is why I think we should open it up and get this over with already, the curiosity is killing me, and I'm not even a Meowth!" the demon said.

The vampire cleared her throat, and the other two glanced at her in annoyance. "What is it?" they asked simultaneously…and did a double-take when they saw Gardevoir.

"Wait a minute…are you…" the angel started.

"The real us? Oh wow, I've always wanted to meet you!" the devil said excitedly, rushing over to shake the startled Gardevoir's hand. She frowned enviously. "You look even prettier than I expected…"

Gardevoir blinked. _I'm being complimented by a figment of my imagination. What does that say about myself?_ "You look quite well yourself, er…me?"

The demon blushed. "Awww, thanks!"

"What are you doing down here on our level?" the angel asked. "Not that I'm not happy to see you, it's just…you really aren't supposed to be here…"

"That's something I was hoping one of you could explain to me," Gardevoir said.

"It was my doing," the vampire said. "As you might have surmised, we have a bit of a dilemma on our hands."

"Oh?" Gardevoir asked.

The vampire gestured to the door. "What do you make of that?"

"It's a door," Gardevoir said, stating the obvious.

"Precisely. A door that doesn't belong here," the vampire said.

The angel nodded. "The three of us are the only things that are supposed to exist on this level of your consciousness. That door, though…it's not part of us. Not part of _you_. It comes from somewhere else entirely…somewhere _outside_ of you."

Gardevoir frowned. "Oh my. That does sound rather worrisome. How did it get here?"

"We don't know," the demon said. "The most likely explanation is someone is trying to gain access to our—to _your_—mind."

"But it doesn't feel as intrusive as Oblivion Shadow's mind probes, or have the same…_presence_ that we experienced a few of those times we tried contacting that Absol traveling with Ash," the angel said.

"It also doesn't feel like the Teacher either, or any of our friends," the vampire added. "It's kind of a mystery."

"So it would seem," Gardevoir agreed. "You were right to bring me here. This seems very important. What should we do about it?"

"That's up to you to decide," the vampire said. "This is your mind. We're just fragments of your consciousness, so we shouldn't do anything major without your approval."

"I believe we should leave it alone, or try to repel it, banish it from our self," the angel said. "It is a foreign presence that does not belong in our consciousness. I do not trust it."

"Neither do I, but I think we should at least open it up and see what's on the other side, who's trying to contact us," the demon said. "If it's something hostile, we'll use our combined power to destroy it."

"And what if it's too powerful for us?" the angel asked.

"Then we'll just slam the door closed in its face again, and lock it," the demon said.

"What if we can't? What if the very act of opening the door allows it a permanent connection inside of us?" the angel countered.

"We have a permanent connection to the Teacher, and our vampire minions, and that hasn't worked out so badly," the demon pointed out.

"Not all the beings who want to contact us may have such benign intentions, though," the angel retorted. "We have been lucky so far, but remember that we are right in the lair of our greatest enemy, a being of unfathomable evil and boundless Psychic powers. We have been able to repel him so far, but if we open the door, let down our defenses, there is no guarantee we will be able to do so again. He will have gained a foothold inside of us, and it will not be easy to remove him once he has it."

"…I guess that's true," the demon admitted. "But doesn't it work both ways? If this _is_ a trap by the Shadow, maybe we can turn the tables on him…gain access to _his_ mind, and learn all his secrets…maybe even a way to defeat him? If that's the case, it's an opportunity we can't pass up!"

"Yes, but it could still be a trap…to lure us into his mind, where we will be unable to escape his grasp!" the angel argued. "It is simply too dangerous. We cannot take that risk. There are too many people depending on us."

"But isn't the risk of _not_ doing it even greater? We can't turn down a chance like this…it might never come again!" the demon said.

"Assuming it's even _from_ Oblivion's Shadow," the angel added. "It could just as easily be from someone else."

"And it could be someone who can help us!" the demon said impatiently. "We have to try! We can't just do _nothing!"_

"Well? What do you think?" the vampire asked, turning to Gardevoir.

Gardevoir blinked in surprise. "Me? What do _you_ think?"

"I'm you, more than either of them are," the vampire reminded her. "My opinion is the same as yours, pretty much. So…what do you believe we should do with this door? Ignore it, try and get rid of it…or open it?"

Gardevoir considered this for a moment. "Open it."

"Yes!" the demon cheered.

The angel was crestfallen. "What? But why?"

"Whoever put this here is clearly strong enough to at least partially penetrate our mind…but the fact that they didn't come all the way, but gave us a _choice_ in whether or not we should complete the connection, indicates they have a sense of decency…a decency that Oblivion's Shadow has so far failed to demonstrate," Gardevoir said reasonably. "If they went to this much effort and were courteous enough to allow us the final say in how we deal with them…I think it's only polite of us to try and return that courtesy. And besides…it doesn't _feel_ like the Shadow. Even if it is some sort of trap…I rather doubt it could be anything as malevolent as whatever _he_ could throw at us."

The angel looked at the door for a moment. "Well…I suppose that's true. I don't really sense any malicious intent…that still doesn't mean it's not a trap, though."

"No, but it's a trap we can probably handle," the demon said confidently. "With all four of us working together, I'm sure we can take whatever's waiting on the other side."

"Well, technically it's just the _one_ of us, but one-is-four in this case, so I suppose it still counts," the vampire said.

"It's settled, then?" Gardevoir asked. "We shall open the door?"

The trio nodded. "You're going to have to be the one to do it, though," the angel said.

"Yeah, this is your mind after all," the demon said. "We're just parts of it."

"Don't worry though," the vampire assured her. "We've got your back."

"Very well." Gardevoir reached out and grasped the doorknob. "Here we go." She took a deep breath, turned the knob, and wrenched the door open.

They tensed, ready for anything.

Nothing happened. No malevolent force rushed through the portal to destroy them. No horrible monster crawled out to try and consume them. All that lay on the other side of the door was a blackness much like the darkness of her subconscious, but…there was something…_different_ about it…

The angel sighed in relief. "Thank goodness…"

The demon frowned in disappointment. "Awww, I was hoping something would happen. How anticlimactic."

Gardevoir frowned and turned to her vampiric twin. "Do you…feel that?"

The vampire nodded. "There's another presence on the other side of that thing…a subconscious figment, much like ourselves. It's weak…barely alive…barely existing…"

The angel gasped. "Oh! We have to help it, then!"

"What happened to worrying about a trap? Sounds like bait to me," the demon said.

"Even if it's a trap…if someone's hurt and in need, we have to help them!" the angel said stubbornly. "It's the right thing to do! You know that as well as I do!" The demon grimaced, begrudgingly admitting the point.

"This door leads into someone else's subconscious plane," Gardevoir intuited. "If I pass through…will you be able to follow?"

"It's someone else's mind…but I believe so, so long as you concentrate on keeping us real and by your side," the vampire said.

The angel nodded. "Since we're figments of your imagination, that means if you stop thinking about us, we'll cease to exist."

Gardevoir gasped in horror. "What?"

"It's not as bad as you think," the demon said quickly. "We're a part of you, so we can never really be destroyed. If we happen to vanish over there, we'll just reappear back here. You don't need to worry about us."

"But if you want us to help you on the other side, you need to make sure not to lose your concentration or be distracted by whatever you might find there, or else you'll be on your own," the vampire said.

Gardevoir nodded, understanding. "I see…what about myself? Can I be…damaged?"

"…Possibly," the vampire admitted. "Unlike the rest of us, you're real. Since you're sending a significant part of yourself into someone else's consciousness, if something bad happens over there and you can't get back, the…physical you may never be the same. Your psyche will be radically altered forever."

"Knowing this, will you still go through?" the angel asked.

Gardevoir nodded. "There's someone over there who needs our help. I can feel it. We can't turn our backs on them, now that we know they exist."

The angel smiled. "Well said."

"And if anyone tries anything funny…" the demon muttered darkly, narrowing her eyes and flexing her claws. "There'll be hell to pay."

"Then let's go," the vampire said. "Off into the unknown." She smiled, baring her fangs. "This should be interesting."

Together, the four Gardevoirs passed through the gateway, unknowing of who or what lay on the other side, making sure not to close the door behind them. It might be locked from the other end, after all.

…

And that is that. Dang, I'd hoped to get this chapter out sooner, but…well, you know the same old excuses.

Anyway, cheers to the start of an exciting new arc, and to my fiftieth chapter! It's not as long as some of the other milestones I've hit, but it's still a significant marker in the progress of this story all the same.

And as usual, with a new arc comes new mysteries. What is Dawn's connection to that mysterious Dragonite? How did Sam and Max get on the Enchanted Express? What does Brodie, Bellum's evil henchmon, have in store for the Duchess Fantina? What answers does the mystic Krysta have for Rayquaza and Latias on resolving their current afflictions? Can Pichu win a name of his own, Max overcome his fear of fighting, and Matthias resolve his issues with his surviving family? What's the deal with that weird skull-wearing Riolu? Does James stand a snowball's chance in the Abyss of beating Mewgle? Will Tarantulas acquire the power of the king of the giants?

And what secrets will Gardevoir and her figments find on the other side of the door?

The answers to these questions and more will be revealed…next time! Hopefully, before the end of the month, though I wouldn't count on it. Thanksgiving's going to be as much of a time-consumer as school, after all.

In any event, I'll see you then.


	51. Death on the Enchanted Express

Well, after last chapter's milestone, what exciting things do I have planned for this chapter?

Eh, not much, to be honest. Not for the main cast, anyway. Some interesting things will be happening to our friends in the other subplots, but as for the primary heroes? Well, _something's_ going to happen, but if you're looking for really sweet super-awesome action, that won't be for a little while yet. Yes, I know, I promised this arc was going to be radical, and it is, you just need to be a little…patient, okay?

Unfortunately, that's going to have to wait until next year, since it looks like this will be the last chapter of 2010. I don't believe I'll be able to get another one done by New Year's since I'm going on a trip to Africa in a week or two, but I'll do my best. If I fail, then this will have to tide you over until then, and given that it's especially long (I swear, I don't mean to do this, they just keeps growing out of control!), you may even finish it by the time chapter 152 is ready!

Anyway, I'm glad I got this done in spite of spending so much time agonizing over finals, and I'm sure you are too. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me. I could list all the things that I'm appropriating/ripping off, but that would take too long, and I don't think it's worth it, do you?

…

As night fell in Sinnorre, the Enchanted Express continued happily chugging down the track towards its destination of Fichina, perfectly capable of running no matter what time it was or what the weather was like so long as it was in constant motion, never stopping, never slowing down, as it locomoted towards the distant horizon. Inside the train, the passengers, who weren't quite as eternally energetic as their ride, gathered in the dining car for supper. The car, like every other area seen so far of the train, was palatial in design, about the size of a small restaurant with chandeliers hanging from the transparent ceiling through which the night sky could be seen, floating candelabras, an orchestra composed of levitating instruments playing classical music without musicians, an ornately carpeted floor that was actually a semi-living organism that ate any crumbs or bits of food that fell off people's plates to save the cleaning staff some time, and beautiful marble fountains that poured forth chocolate, wine, and ambrosia rather than water. While waiters could be summoned instantly with a ring of a bell to take orders rather than having to wait an interminable period of time for them to get to a particular table, a magical buffet was also available for use against the back wall, laden with covered trays. The contents of the trays varied, all a diner had to do was walk up to one, state the name of the food they wanted, open the cover, and voila! It would be there just like magic, which it was, of course. Almost any meal could be obtained in this manner, but even these enchanted trays had their limits, which was why they still had a chef and a kitchen, to produce some of the more…_exotic_ dishes.

"Quite the swank eatery, isn't it, guv?" Briney murmured as he, Goldor, Silvia, and little Buck sat at the same table, the family of Psychic dolls having invited him to dine with them.

"Hmmph, I've eaten at more refined places than this," Goldor grunted, unimpressed.

Silvia rolled her many eyes. "Really, now! You're never satisfied with anything, are you?"

"I'm satisfied with the travel itinerary we've managed to cobble together with the help of the Professor here," Goldor said, nodding cordially to Briney. "Though I still would love to see some of those battlefields…" Silvia sighed and shook her head in exasperation.

"So would I, but nobody ever seems to care what I think," Buck grumbled.

"That's nice, dear," Silvia said absent-mindedly, proving his point.

"Anyway, chaps," Briney said, changing the subject. "Thank you kindly for inviting me to join you for a jolly good meal, I'm famished!"

"It's the least we could do to repay you for resolving our domestic dispute," Silvia said kindly.

"Literally, since this way I don't have to spend any money," Goldor said. Silvia glared at him.

"Thank you again for helping us plan the best way to maximize our enjoyment in Fichina," Silvia said, looking back at Briney. "You seem very knowledgeable in the history of magic and Fichina. Why, I'd be surprised if its inhabitants know even half as much as you do!"

"Yes, well, I read a lot, mum," Briney said, trying to feign bashfulness, something he wasn't used to. "Comes with the profession, wot?"

"Indeed!" Silvia agreed. "Why, I have half a mind to ask you to become our son's tutor, you certainly seem to be smarter than most of his teachers and have a way of capturing his attention that they so far…have not."

"Mooooom!" Buck whined.

"Thank you kindly, mum, but I must respectfully decline," Briney said quickly. "After all, I couldn't possibly go from teaching dozens of impressionable young minds to becoming the educator of a sole child, could I? It would be selfish, and a waste of my talents, wot?"

"I suppose…" Silvia admitted reluctantly.

"We could pay you better than whatever salary you get at the University," Goldor said.

"Probably, but I'm being considered for tenure, and I couldn't jolly well turn that down, now could I?" Briney asked reasonably.

"Hmm, I suppose that's true," Goldor admitted.

"Now, let's see what's on the menu here…whooooph!" Briney said in alarm when he saw the prices. Even the cheapest dish looked as if it would put a significant dent in the money they had picked up from Barbedo's hoarde. "I don't think I could possibly afford most of this…maybe I was a bit too hasty in turning down your very generous job offer, guv…"

"You certainly were," Goldor muttered.

"Oh nonsense, we'll pay for it," Silvia said.

"We will?" Goldor asked in alarm.

"Of course we will, the good Professor is our guest," Silvia insisted.

"Now, mum, that's really not necessary, I'm sure I could just grab something from the buffet-" Briney started.

"And turn down the opportunity to dine on a meal the likes of which you've probably never had the chance to sample before, let alone imagine? I won't hear another word of it. Pick whatever you like, we'll pay for it," Silvia said. "We have money to spare, after all."

"Well, thank you kindly mum," Briney said, perking up at this.

Goldor was less pleased. "Who does she think we are, a charity? Just because she admires Fantina doesn't mean she has to _act_ like her…" the Claydol grumbled under his breath.

"I think this one looks good," Briney said, choosing a dish that not only looked (and smelled, since the pictures on the menu were enchanted to emit the aroma of the real thing) delicious, but was also quite expensive. He supposed it was petty of him, but hey, they were offering…

"Very good. Hmm…yes, this looks satisfactory," Silvia said, picking something for herself.

"Then I guess I'll have-" Goldor started, pointing at something on his menu.

"Oh no you don't, we talked about this, remember? You need to eat healthier if you want to maintain that shine of yours," Silvia said.

"Oh, very well," he said in exasperation. "Accursed womon…can't even let me _eat_ what I want…who cares about looking good if you're always hungry…" he grumbled.

"I don't suppose I get to choose what I want, either?" Buck asked.

"Of course not dear, you're a growing boy and need to eat healthy as well," Silvia said.

Buck sighed. "What's the point of being rich if you can't get whatever you want?"

"I ask myself the same question all the time," Goldor muttered.

Silvia rang a bell on the table, and a uniformed Abra Teleported over. "Are you ready to order?"

"Yes, please," Silvia said. They requested the foods they wanted (or in Goldor and Buck's case, were forced to have).

The Abra bowed. "I will be back in a moment with your dinner." He Teleported away.

"So, while we're waiting…I don't suppose you could tell me a bit about the other nobs we happen to be sharing the coach with?" Briney asked, glancing at some of the other passengers. Much to his annoyance, privacy spells around the tables allowed diners to eat and chat with each other in silence without having to worry about anyone eavesdropping on them. Naturally, to a skilled eavesdropper like Briney, this was grievously unfair, and another reason for him to despise the restrictive spells that kept him from using his full mental abilities to snoop in people's minds without their knowledge. What was wrong with wanting to do that?

"I'm afraid I don't recognize all of them, since many of the passengers who boarded at the same time as you are new to me," Silvia said apologetically. "But…let's see…" She pointed at a blind elderly female Hypno dining at the same table as a Girafarig. "Over there are two like minds, the famed spiritualist Rebecca and the oracle Cherry. Since both of them see things that most other people can't, they're the best of friends."

Briney frowned. "A spiritualist? You mean she talks to dead people?"

Goldor snorted. "Please, _anyone_ can do that, you just have to walk up to a Ghost Pokémon and ask them the time of night. A spiritualist is someone who communicates with spirits of another sort…as well as the souls of those who have passed beyond the pale."

"So they _do_ talk to dead people," Briney said.

"Well, that, and things that were never alive to begin with," Silvia said.

"That's creepy," Buck said.

"Well, that's one theory for why she's blind…" Goldor murmured.

Silvia indicated the Rattata that had rather rudely slammed the door on Briney earlier. He was huddled over his plate, fervently shoving his food in his mouth as if it were the last meal he would ever have. He was wearing a bulky overcoat for some reason, and it almost looked like he was slipping some of the food on his plate into it for some reason. Briney frowned, his gut telling him to be wary of the rodent. "I'm not really sure who that one is, but I think he works for the pharmaceutical company that produces Potions and Ethers and the like."

"Ah, a very profitable and helpful business, that," Briney commented. "I can't imagine how many poor saps'd be dead without those handy miracle-workers."

"Yes, well, my business is profitable and helpful too," Goldor said with a sniff.

"I don't doubt it, guv," Briney said cheerfully. "So who's that bloke peering all over the place with his wings in front of his face?"

"That's Todd Snap," Silvia said after glancing at an Aerodactyl sitting by himself, looking at the world through a frame made by his wings, occasionally snapping them shut in the blink of an eye for no apparent reason. "He's a photographer for the Magical Times. He's riding with us to take pictures of the journey of Fantina and her vampires and document the big anti-'Nihilator' hearing that's supposed to take place when we get to Fichina, which may finally spell the end of that nasty witch Bellum and the rest of her cohorts. Oh, isn't this exciting? We live in such interesting times, don't we? Goldor, do you suppose we could watch some of it?"

"Well, I still think this Nihilator thing is just a hoax," Goldor grumbled, causing Briney to clench his fists under the table. "But I suppose it could be interesting to attend."

"Sounds boring to me," Buck complained.

"Nobody asked you, dear," Silvia said sweetly. The Baltoy grunted.

"If he's a photographer, then where's his camera?" Briney asked.

"Oh, he doesn't need one, he's a Photomancer," Goldor said.

Briney stared. "…He controls light and radiance?"

"No, he can take pictures using magic," Goldor said.

Briney frowned. "I…don't think that's what the word 'photomancy' actually means."

"Oh really? And what do you think it should be called, hmm?" Goldor asked. "Pictomancy is taken by artists who can make their paintings come to life, so there aren't really many other options for their profession."

"Well…you've got me there, guv," Briney admitted reluctantly. He stared incredulously as Todd snapped his wings shut again, then opened his mouth and stuck out his tongue. A photograph of whatever he'd been looking at slid out. He peeled it off his tongue, examined it critically, then nodded and stuck it in his portfolio with the rest of his pictures from the trip so far. _I really hope Leo never develops an ability like that…not only is seeing anyone produce images that way too weird even for me, just imagine the sorts of things he'd snap pictures of! Then again, it's not like he doesn't do enough of that already with his regular camera…_

"I am unfamiliar with the samurai and his retinue sitting with those…deformed homunculi, or whatever it is those strange creatures are," Silvia said, looking in puzzlement at the table where Pikachu, Sasha, Dawn, and Sam and Max were sitting. Briney frowned as he looked at the duo from another world. While he'd never met them, he'd heard a great deal about them and seen more by prying into the memories of his friends, and he didn't particularly relish having to meet them in person. The longer Pikachu kept them occupied, the better. The Claydol pointed at another Pokémon sitting at the same table as Pikachu and the rest. "The Croagunk in the coat, on the other hand, is a detective from the International Police codenamed 'Looker,' or so I have heard. I wonder what he's doing here?"

"Investigating a case of some sort, no doubt," Goldor said. "Or maybe looking to see if this Nihilator and vampire thing isn't all just some big scam or publicity stunt like I suspect it is. And so long as he keeps his nose out of my business, I have no problem with him."

"Why do they call him 'Looker?'" Briney asked. "He doesn't look particularly handsome."

"Well, duh, he's a Croagunk," Buck said.

"Buck! You know you aren't to say things like that!" Silvia hissed, shocked.

He sighed and rolled his eyes. "Whatever, mom."

"It's probably meant to be ironic or something, you know how law enforcement is," Goldor said.

"I'll have to take your word for it, guv, seeing as I've never had much trouble with the long arm of the law," Briney said, which was a complete and utter lie. He'd rubbed more than a few law enforcement types the wrong way what with his vigilante actions, but since they weren't competent enough to catch him _or_ the punks he spent most of his time hunting down, he didn't really think their opinion of him mattered.

Silvia glanced around, a puzzled look on her face. "That's odd, I had heard there was going to be a Dragonite mystic by the name of Kairyu with us tonight. I guess he decided to eat in his room."

"Lousy Dragons, think they're better than the rest of us just because they can live for thousands of years, every part of them is magical, and they belong to an empire that could probably conquer the world if it felt like it," Goldor grumbled.

"I'm also not familiar with those two monks, they look like they could belong to just about any religious denomination of people who dress in robes and live at the top of mountains," Silvia said, referring to Ash and Tiny. "Those Pokémon they're eating with are supposed to be a group of adventurers called Team Getem or something like that. They're trying to gather some ancient artifacts before a nebulous evil organization can so they can save the world from utter destruction…you know, the usual thing."

Briney narrowed his eyes at the eight oddly familiar-looking Pokémon…especially the Tentacool. Something about them rubbed him the wrong way. "Well, Tauros for them."

"Back in my day, adventurers had much more original quests," Goldor groused. "These days it's always 'collect the seven mystic plot coupons before the bad guys' or 'stop the evil demon lord from being resurrected' or 'fulfill this ancient and vaguely-worded prophecy to keep the world from ending.' No sense of imagination, these modern adventures…"

"And the golden Mismagius over there," Silvia said, indicating a table apart from the rest where Fantina, Lady Bow, Leo, Lily, a Swalot, a Wooper, and an Electrike were seated, with a Duclops and Kirlia standing guard. "Is none other than Fantina Fantasma! Oh, I think this is the closest I've ever been to her! I tried to get an autograph earlier, but they wouldn't let me see her."

"Considering you were acting like a ninny, it's little surprise," Goldor said snidely.

She huffed. "I never! Why must you always say such harsh things?"

"_One_ of us needs to keep their giant head out of the clouds," Goldor said.

"Oh, and now you're calling me fat?" Silvia said angrily.

Goldor sighed in exasperation and gave Briney a long-suffering look. "You see what I have to live with here?"

Briney clenched his fists again. Personally, he thought the soft businessmon had no idea how nice he had it. At least Goldor _had_ a wife to argue with…there were times he had trouble remembering the sound of Peeko's voice, or the taste of her thoughts, or how her feathers had felt against his metal skin. Their recent…'reunion' thanks to Darkrai had helped to bring most of those memories back, but had also made him more keenly aware than ever of how much he missed her. Now that her murderers were dead, his obligation to help Team Aurabolt take down the Nihilators was probably the only thing keeping him from going to join her…permanently.

"Well, she's certainly a looker," Briney commented, shoving his grim thoughts away to brood over later. "And the sweet lass next to her is her daughter, Lady Bow?"

"Yes, her second youngest," Goldor said. "They say she's a formidable wind mage."

"Do you suppose she would be interested in marrying Buck?" Silvia asked, glancing at the Drifloon. "It would be a fine way to unite our families' fortunes…"

Goldor rolled his eyes and Buck turned red. "Moooom! I'm not into girls yet!" the Baltoy protested. "Plus, she's at least a hundred years older than me!"

"A hundred and seventeen, to be precise," Goldor said. "And her younger sister is maybe sixty-three, which puts both of them a wee bit out of Buck's range, I'm afraid."

Silvia sighed in disappointment. "I suppose…"

"Your obsession with the Fantasmas borders on the unhealthy, you know," Goldor continued, somewhat annoyed. "While it's all well and good to respect her, trying to be a part of her family is a bit much, don't you think? Besides, everyone would see us as gold diggers, considering she is…somewhat…wealthier than we are." It looked like it almost physically hurt him to admit this. Briney hid an amused smile.

Silvia sighed sadly. "I suppose…one can always dream, though."

"That they can," Briney said. "And those dapper chaps sitting with them are the vampires all this fuss is about, then?"

"Assuming they aren't Goths playing dress-up, then yes," Goldor sniffed. "They are."

He was loath to admit it, but Briney couldn't help agreeing a little with Goldor. The trio dining with Fantina didn't really scream 'vampire.' The Swalot had a monocle, fangs, a darker than normal complexion for his species, and a dinner jacket with a cravat, gold pin, and opera cloak, which looked rather odd on him considering how, well, bloated he was. His mustache also looked somewhat more refined and elegant than a Swalot's usually was. The Wooper had fangs, antenna shaped oddly like Zubat wings, was gray in hue and wearing a fashionable dress shirt and shoes, but otherwise didn't look especially monstrous. The Electrike had a wild look in its eyes, a muzzle covering his face, and was anchored to a table leg by a leash, and overall looked more like a rabid mutt than a creature of the night. "Not quite what I expected," he admitted.

"That's because vampires are lame," Buck said. "Werehumans are much scarier."

"Buck!" Silvia hissed.

"What? They are! Humans freak me out!" Buck said. "I'm glad they're extinct, so they aren't running around scaring Pokémon and stealing them from their homes and forcing them to beat each other up for no reason in stupid tournaments."

"Well…I suppose that's a legitimate reason to dislike them," Silvia admitted. "But it doesn't do to speak ill of the dead."

"You seem to have no problem bad-mouthing my dear departed mother even though she's been in the grave for five years now," Goldor said drily, causing Silvia to glare at him.

"What are their names?" Briney asked as he looked at Fantina's table, both pleased and envious Leo and Lily seemed to have somehow insinuated themselves to the mage and her retinue. Couldn't they have found some way to invite him or the others over without being conspicuous, or at least sent them a message to let them all know they'd succeeded in their mission? (Well, probably not, but he was too annoyed at being left out and being unable to eavesdrop via telepathy to admit that.)

"I believe the Swalot is Vladimir, the Wooper is Dean, and the Electrike is Bob," Silvia said.

Briney blinked. "Bob?"

"Yes, Bob," Silvia said.

"They probably couldn't think up a cool fake name for him, since he's just a slavering mongrel," Buck said.

"Buck!" Silvia hissed.

"What? You're seriously going to tell me their moms named them Vladimir or Dean? Those names are obviously fake," Buck said.

"He has a point, dear," Goldor said. "Those do sound like the sorts of things a pair of vampires—or wannabe vampires—would call themselves to sound intimidating."

"Professor?" Silvia asked, glaring at Briney for support.

"Er…well…I suppose those could be perfectly reasonable names, mum, depending on wherever they came from," Briney said slowly, though privately he found himself agreeing with Buck and Goldor. Those _did_ sound like fake names.

"There! You see?" Silvia asked triumphantly. "I'm not the only one who thinks so!"

"He's just humoring you, dear," Goldor said.

Silvia gasped and glared at Briney. "What?"

"Er…I say, do you know who those chaps are?" Briney asked quickly, indicating a pair of Pokémon standing on opposite ends of the car, near the doors. One was a massive Machamp covered in runic tattoos, and the other was a Mightyena who, surprisingly enough, seemed to have learned how to stand on her hind legs, and had a couple of crossbows slung on her back.

Silvia glanced at them. "Those two? I believe they were hired to provide extra security for this trip, considering the, ah, _distinguished_ natures of some of our fellow passengers."

"And yet I never see any additional guards whenever _I'm_ riding somewhere…it's so wonderful to know how much I'm cared about in the grand scheme of things," Goldor said snidely.

"Those tattoos on the Machamp look magical," Briney commented.

"On the contrary, they're completely _un_magical. So unmagical, in fact, that they make him immune to magic!" Silvia said. "Which makes him more than a little intimidating to mage-types like us, as you can no doubt imagine."

"That I can, mum," said the impressed Briney. "Where'd he learn a trick like that?"

"Nobody knows," Silvia said.

"Which is a good thing for him, or else the Council of Merlin'd have cracked down on it by now," Buck said.

Goldor nodded fiercely. "As well they should!"

"Rumor has it he's one of those guru types who gains their skills by sitting at the tops of tall mountains or something like that, which is why he's so strong. That, along with his immunity to magic, is probably why he was asked to help with security," Silvia said.

"What about the Mightyena lass? Is she immune to magic too?" Briney asked.

"No, she's your average run-of-the-mill mercenary, as far as I know," Silvia said dismissively.

"Aside from the fact that she can stand on her hind legs and can get an arrow off faster than most mages can cast a spell," Goldor said admiringly. "I hear she can shoot the wing off a Yanma from ten miles away, or some other ludicrously exaggerated claim of skill and marksmonship."

"Fascinating. What's her name?" Briney asked.

"George," Silvia said.

There was a pause. "Forgive me for asking, but…Isn't that a boy's name?" Briney asked.

"I think it's short for Georgina," Goldor said.

"Either that, or her parents were expecting a boy," Buck said.

"Ah. That would explain it, then," Briney said. _Hmm. I'd better keep my eye on her and the Machamp. They could cause a problem if they think, what with all the subterfuge we're involved in, that _we're_ the real threat…_ "What say after dinner we engage in a little socializing, get to know our neighbors, wot? After all, we're all in the same train for the next couple of days, so we might as well get to know each other a little better, eh?"

"And I might get an autograph from Fantina!" Silvia said eagerly.

"Hmm, I suppose," Goldor said grudgingly. "So long as we get it done before tonight's _Delight._ I forgot to set the recorder before we left home, and I'm dying to find out who's singing tonight, and if the love triangle between Will, Emma, and Jessalyn will finally be resolved!"

Briney blinked. Silvia sighed. "I don't get what you see in that show."

"Neither do I, it's so lame," Buck agreed.

"I have the right to watch whatever I like!" Goldor snapped. "And if I happen to like a drama based around a high school Delight club, then that's that!" Thankfully, before this awkward line of conversation could go any further, the Abra Teleported back with their food, and the subject was tabled for another time so that they could all have their dinners.

At her table, Sasha frowned at the nervous-looking Rattata. "What is it, Sasha?" Pikachu asked.

"I sense trouble in the future…I think it is coming from him," the Absol said.

"Well of course he's gonna be trouble, he's a rat, and everyone knows nothing good ever comes from them!" Max said, splattering the table with bits of food and saliva as he failed to chew with his mouth closed. The others made disgusted faces.

"That's incredibly prejudicial although rather apt, little buddy," Sam said calmly. "And please stop talking with your mouth full before I start blowing chunks all over the place." Max stuck his tongue (and the grotesque mass of chewed-up corn dog on it) at Sam, but heeded his warning and proceeded to eat in a slightly less messy manner.

"So you think we should keep an eye on him?" Pikachu asked, reaching for his sword.

"Perhaps, perhaps not," the Croagunk detective Looker croaked. "Just because he's acting suspicious doesn't mean he's planning something."

"So…we _shouldn't_ keep an eye on him?" Pikachu asked.

"I didn't say that…" Looker murmured, frowning at the Ratatta. Pikachu growled in vexation.

"Maybe he's the one who stole our cheese!" Max declared.

"Little buddy, we don't have any cheese," Sam said.

"Exactly, because he took it!" Max said. "Oh, and speaking of suspicious…I think that girl with the crossbows wants to rob and/or eat you, she keeps looking at you all weird."

Sam frowned. "The girl with the crossbows?"

"Yeah, the one over by the door," Max said.

Sam glanced over his shoulder at the same time George the Mightyena looked at him. Their eyes met. Sam flushed, and then he quickly turned back to the table and self-consciously adjusted his hat and tie. "Why's she staring at me like that? Is she checking me out?"

"Hmm, yeah, she probably is trying to gauge how much of you is fat and how much is actual meat to determine whether you'll make a good meal or not…you _really_ need to lay off the Fudgie Freezes, Sam," Max said.

"…Max, I don't think she wants to eat me," Sam said in exasperation.

Max gave him a look of genuine puzzlement. "Why not? You look so delicious, I can't imagine why _anyone_ wouldn't want to eat you."

"Hmm, he has a point, you do look somewhat delectable," Sasha commented after giving Sam a long, appraising look. Max nodded in agreement, and Sam shot her a nervous, worried look.

Pikachu facepalmed and found himself wishing that he were at another table. Why hadn't Leo and Lily called them over? It looked like they were getting along pretty well with Fantina and her party. Would it be that much effort to invite them to join in? Then again, there was a chance that Sam and Max would follow, whether they were wanted or not… "How exactly did you two get on the train again?" he wearily asked the otherworldly duo.

"We asked Looker to let us share a room with him," Sam said.

"…And you let them _why?_" Pikachu demanded of the Croagunk.

"For cover," Looker said. "Nobody would ever think I working on a case if I was traveling with companions as loud and obnoxious as these two."

"Hey, I resent that! You forgot to mention my distinctive body odor!" Max said.

"Thank you for reminding us all of that, Max," Sam said.

"So you _are_ on a case?" Pikachu asked.

Looker nodded. "A big one…I've been after one of the people on this train for a long time, and I almost have everything I need to finally nail the bastard."

Pikachu glanced surreptitiously at the other passengers. "Which one?"

"I'd rather not say…don't want my quarry to get word that I'm onto them and slip through my fingers," Looker said enigmatically. "Much like _you_ don't want anyone to know what _you're_ really up to, correct?"

"Fair enough," Pikachu admitted grudgingly. He had been displeased when Looker saw through their disguises almost the instant he met them, listing inconsistencies and flaws in their masquerade that, to a trained observer like himself, were glaring indicators that they were not who they said they were. However, he had also seen just as easily that they had no ill intentions, so did not disclose his discovery to any of the security forces, correctly deducing it might be a bad idea in the long run if he did anything to interfere in their mission.

"He wouldn't tell us who he's trying to catch either, even though we offered to help," Sam said, looking offended.

"Yeah, he said we couldn't keep secrets. As if! I've _never_ told anyone that Sam sometimes rushes out to the fire hydrant outside our office in the middle of the night," Max bragged. Sam gave him a betrayed look, and Pikachu sweatdropped.

"What is a fire hydrant and why is it a big deal to run out to one in the middle of the night?" asked a confused Sasha.

"Um," Pikachu said, turning red.

"A fire hydrant is the above-ground plug for a series of underground water pipes in more civilized areas that hoses can be attached to when a fire breaks out to pump out enough water to put out the blaze," Looker said.

Sasha frowned. "Why not just use a Water Pokémon instead?"

"Usually they do, but Water Pokémon may not always be enough to put out a burning building if it's especially large or the fire is extraordinarily strong," Looker explained.

"Hmm, I suppose that's true. But what is shameful about running out to one in the middle of the night?" Sasha asked as Sam turned red.

"Because some Pokémon—usually canines, for some reason—occasionally feel an urge to mark their territory on it," Looker said. Sam turned even redder.

Sasha frowned. "…I do not follow. What is wrong with that?"

"It's, ah, not something that's supposed to be done in civilized company," Pikachu said.

"Why not?" Sasha asked. Pikachu hesitated, unsure how to answer her.

"No clue. That's something I've always wanted to do, too, but Sam never lets me," Max complained. "Just like how he tells me not to scratch myself in public, or eat the stuff I find between my toes, or armpit fart the alphabet, or force hobos to dance the Macarena at gunpoint."

"What did those poor hobos ever do to you anyway, Max?" Sam asked.

"Nothing, I'm trying to help them by making them do a little cardio! You'd think they'd be a little more grateful for the exercise or something," Max griped.

"…Right. Anyway," Pikachu said, deciding to change the subject. He glanced at Dawn, who had seemed rather subdued ever since she'd returned from speaking to that Dragonite next door. "Dawn, are you okay? You haven't said much since you returned from speaking to that Dragonite next door."

"Well of course she hasn't said much of anything, it's cuz she's dumb!" Max said.

"Max!" Sam scolded.

"What? She is! That's the term you use for people who can't talk, isn't it?" Max asked.

"Oh. That's true, but the politically correct term is 'mute,'" Sam pointed out.

"Sam, when have I ever been politically correct?" Max asked.

"Well, never, I suppose," Sam admitted.

"Wrong! I'm the President, which means that whatever I say is automatically politically correct, because I'm the biggest politician around!" Max said triumphantly.

"Hmm. Sounds reasonable," Sam said.

Pikachu's eye twitched. Looker frowned. "I'm not sure that's how it works…"

"It is if I say it is, and I've got the nuclear arsenal to prove it!" Max said.

"Where?" Sasha asked.

"Back…in our home universe…" Max said, deflating. He brightened and pulled out his gun. "But I still have this to enforce my Constitutional rights to blow stuff up whenever I want!"

"Max, put that away before you shoot someone by accident," Sam said.

Max stared at him blankly. "Why would it be an accident?"

"DAWN," Pikachu said loudly to get them back on subject. "What's up?"

_Hmm? Oh…I'm sorry, Master. I just have a lot on my mind,_ Dawn clicked apologetically.

"Are you all right?" Pikachu asked in concern.

She nodded. _Yes, it's just…I've had a few surprises today, and I'm still trying to process them._

"Do you want to talk about it?" the samurai asked.

She shook her head. _Yes, but…not this instant. I would rather talk somewhere private, where there are fewer listening ears and blathering mouths._

Pikachu winced as Max belched very loudly. "Fair enough. But you _will_ tell me, then?"

She nodded. _Of course. I would never keep anything a secret from you, Master._

"…Thanks," he said, a little embarrassed.

As he turned back to his meal, Dawn halfheartedly picked at hers, mind still reeling from the revelation she had learned earlier that day…and the return of a figure from her past whom she had thought to be long since deceased.

Back when she had been growing up with the Dragon's Claw ninjas, she and Paul (before he'd gone insane) had hung out with several other ninjas their age. One of them had been a Prinplup by the name of Barry, who had idolized Paul and believed he could do no wrong. He had been one of Paul's loudest advocates when the Sneasel had snapped and stolen the scroll 'How to live forever,' refusing to believe that he had done such a thing. He'd continued believing this, up until Paul viciously disemboweled and murdered him, like the rest of their friends.

Barry had been the son of Master Palmer, one of the clan's most accomplished and skilled ninjas. However, not even his strength and years of experience had saved him when Paul destroyed the clan…or at least, so Dawn had believed all these years, until bumping into the Dragonite ninja in the hallway outside her and Pikachu's compartment. Even in his disguise, she still knew him well enough from all the lessons he had taught her and the times she and the others had hung out at his and Barry's quarters to recognize him the instant she laid eyes on him. What she hadn't understood, of course, was why he was alive…and what he was doing on the Enchanted Express.

He had explained it to her, after taking her into his quarters and interrogating her about his son's death, Paul's betrayal, and the destruction of their clan. As it turned out, Palmer had been completely unaware of any of this. In fact, he hadn't even been present in the fortress when Paul went rogue, though Dawn had been certain she'd seen him there for Paul's tribunal…and found his corpse later, while following the mad ninja's bloody wake. According to Palmer, however, that hadn't been him at all, but a body double the elders had put in place so nobody would notice Palmer's absence while he was gone on a mission…a mission so secret that nobody, not even his own son, could know about it, a mission that would require him to sever all ties to his clan and vanish into the world for an indefinite period of time. What mission was so important that it could possibly call for such drastic measures of secrecy?

To find the Wing clan, the group of ninjas who had seceded from the Draconian Empire some centuries ago and disappeared more thoroughly than any ninja before had ever managed. They had long been thought dead, but certain evidence (which Palmer refused to go into, saying it wasn't something Dawn needed to know of) had come to light a few months before Paul's treachery that seemed to indicate that the missing clan was still alive and active somewhere in the world. Palmer, as one of the Claw clan's best ninjas and masters of disguise and infiltration, had been selected to venture forth and see if there was any truth to these rumors, and to try and find where the Wing had been hiding all these years. He had been forced to go into extremely deep cover as a result, disavowing any connection to his home and family so that nobody, _especially_ not any Wing ninjas who might be spying on him from afar, would have any reason to believe he was an agent sent to learn their whereabouts. He had been saddened to do it, but was too dedicated and loyal to refuse, so had departed the fortress without anyone noticing, a false Palmer created through ninjutsu taking his place so it would seem that he was still there.

This forced solitude had allowed him to assume various identities over the years, each of which got him one step closer to solving the mystery of the missing clan…at the cost of being completely unaware that his son and everyone else he cared about had been murdered by one of his pupils not too long after he had left, and that if he had stayed behind he might have been able to do something to save them. Had he been anyone else, Dawn would have thought this to be foolishness, that no one mon could have turned such a tide…but Master Palmer was no ordinary ninja, and she was forced to admit that if he _had_ been there, things might have turned out differently. Barry and all her other friends might still be alive…

But on the other hand, she might never have met Pikachu or the others. She had suffered quite a bit in the years between Paul's betrayal and her joining Team Aurabolt, but a surprisingly large part of her believed that, in some way, her current position was worth almost everything that had happened to her since that awful day. (Not _everything_, mind you, there had been some parts so horrible they'd come dangerously close to breaking her, but it didn't do to dwell on them.)

They did not waste much time dwelling on what could have been. It was not their way. The past could not be changed, and they could do nothing more than accept the present and move on. After she had given her full report on what Paul had done and what she had been up to since then, of her efforts to track down and kill him and her vow to aid Pikachu and the others in defeating him and the rest of the Nihilators, Palmer had quietly thanked her for telling him all this, asked her to leave him so that he could come to terms with everything that he'd missed and mourn his son and the others in private…

And told her that he would come for her later, because if they truly were the last two living Claw ninjas, then there were some things she would need to know if she were to become strong enough to defeat Paul and avenge their clan, secret techniques and ninjutsu that only a Master like himself—the _last_ Master—could teach her. He had not forbidden her to tell Pikachu any of this, since he understood at once the sort of…_bond_ they had, but asked her to only speak of it to those she could absolutely trust not to tell anyone, since despite everything he now knew he still intended to complete his mission, and couldn't risk his cover being blown after all the hard work he'd put into it. (That meant, of course, there was no way she was going to let Leo know.) Impressed by his devotion to duty and a determination to fulfill a task set to him years ago by people long dead, Dawn had promised to keep his secret and looked forward to learning whatever he had to teach her…especially if it would help her kill Paul. She fully intended to tell all this to Pikachu, but now was not the right setting for such an important conversation, especially with a pair of idiots like Sam and Max sitting right across the table from her.

"Hey Sam, look, I'm eating my mashed potatoes with my nose! Through a _straw!_" Max said as he literally inhaled the food on his plate in an incredibly disgusting manner.

"I'd stop doing that if I were you, little buddy," Sam warned him. "Not only is it bad for your sinuses, it makes you look like you're doing drugs."

Max gasped. "Drugs! Oh no, not drugs! Anything but drugs! Why should I give a crap again?"

"Because you passed several bills to continue the war on drugs," Sam said. "And crime. And terror. And poverty. And poor education. And pollution. And New Zealand."

"Oh yeah…why did I do that again?" Max asked.

"Because New Zealand refused to let Disney film any more Power Rangers series there, so you declared them an enemy of the state and started firing ICBMs at them, causing them to retaliate by depositing their legions of orcs and Monsters of the Week on US soil, and soon a full-fledged war broke out," Sam informed them.

"Those bastards! But I was talking about the drugs," Max said.

"Because the lobbyists offered you a lot of money," Sam said.

"Oh yeah, that sounds about right," Max recalled. "I'll eat with my mouth then…and a straw!" He stuck the straw in his mouth and started sucking up the food on his plate.

"You crack me up, little buddy," Sam said. Pikachu's eye twitched, Looker looked as if he we were regretting letting Sam and Max board the train with him, and Dawn sighed and fanned herself, seeing her decision validated before her eyes.

"By the way," Sasha commented, reluctantly looking away from the Ratatta again. "I don't think you said…why exactly are you on this train again?"

"Because Looker let us share his room, duh," Max said.

"No, I mean, why are you going to Fichina at all?" Sasha rephrased her query.

"I considered asking, but refrained to out of fear it would be something stupid," Pikachu said with a grimace.

Sam frowned. "Now that's plain character defamation! There's nothing stupid about it at all. We're urgently needed back home, so we're going to Fichina in hopes that one of the prestidigitators there can send us back to our plane of origin."

"Sam, never say 'prestidigitator' again, it has too many syllables and is way too hard to spell. You know those make my head hurt," Max complained.

"Duly noted, little buddy," Sam said.

"Oh," Pikachu said, looking surprised. "That _does_ sound reasonable. Sorry."

_What business draws you back to your world?_ Dawn asked.

"Oh, nothing much," Max said. "Just Sam's giant cockroach adopted son has been framed of shooting the giant living statue of the twenty-first President of the United States by the giant living statue of the guy who killed the real twenty-first President of the United States, and we have to clear his name before he gets put in a rocket and launched into the Sun."

"Max, you've got your presidents confused, the twenty-first President is Chester A. Arthur, Abraham Lincoln is the sixteenth," Sam corrected. "And Arthur died of massive cerebral hemorrhaging, not assassination, though that _is_ how his immediate predecessor, James Garfield, bit it, after being shot a couple of months previously by Charles J. Guiteau, who believed God wanted him to kill Garfield as punishment for not making him ambassador to Paris."

"Oh yeah, I always get those two mixed up," Max said.

Pikachu slammed his head into the table. "I knew it was too good to be true. I just knew it."

Dawn blinked. _Why…why is he going to be put into a rocket and launched into the Sun?_ she asked, deciding not to focus too much on the living statue or giant cockroach adopted son parts. She didn't even know what a cockroach was. Some kind of Bug-type? Sam and Max had said Pokémon didn't exist in their world, a concept she found herself almost incapable of understanding, though in retrospect it was probably a good thing, since she didn't thing any Pokémon would particularly enjoy living in a world as crazy as theirs.

"Because I decided lethal injection was too boring a method of execution, so introduced lots of new death sentences to make things more exciting. Like death by extreme racing! Or death by gladiator battle! Or death by deathcourse! Or death by getting turned into a giant monster and allowed to rampage in Tokyo until another death row inmate in a giant robot either stops the monster or gets killed himself, with the survivor either receiving a full presidential pardon or being blown up by a nuclear missile, depending on how I'm feeling that day," Max said.

"Oh, and don't forget death by chocolate," Sam said, licking his lips.

"Yeah, that one was delicious!" Max agreed. Everyone sweatdropped.

"Well, I sincerely hope you find someone who can send you home," Pikachu said. _And the sooner the better…_

Sasha frowned. "But…why are you not riding that strange vehicle of yours instead?"

"The DeSoto went missing after our latest adventure ended in a startling and unexpected failure," Max said sadly.

"It wasn't a failure, it was a redefined mission objective," Sam said stubbornly. "And the old girl's still alive, I'm sure of it!"

"Of course she is, Sam, and so are the Rubber Pants Commandoes, and they'll all be waiting for us back home with a big platter of glazed McGuffins, Treeetz, Fudgy Freezes, and ice cream," Max said patronizingly, as if to a child. Sam growled in annoyance.

"I'm…sorry to hear that," Pikachu said uncertainly. Part of him was genuinely sorry, since the DeSoto's disappearance meant he had to put up with these two, but another part of him was relieved it was gone because riding in that thing had been a terrifying experience he never wanted to relive again.

"What adventure were you involved in?" Sasha asked.

Pikachu groaned and Looker shook his head pityingly. "You did not say that. Please tell me you did not just say that."

"We were trying to stop a cult of hideous fish-men living in an underwater city from releasing an ancient eldritch abomination from its millennia of slumber so one of our old nemeses, Mack Salmon, could use it to conquer our world, after destroying this one," Sam said.

Pikachu considered this for a moment. "That…actually is not as bad as I expected. I mean, it sounds like a very dangerous and important quest, but at least it's _reasonable._"

"It gets worse," Looker said morosely.

_If you failed that, then why are you here?_ Dawn asked in confusion.

"Because we escaped, naturally," Sam said.

"Though it wasn't easy," Max said. "If it hadn't been for those weirdos in a fish-shaped submarine, that might have been it for us!"

Pikachu blinked. "A fish-shaped submarine?"

"Yeah…no idea what they were doing down there…" Max scowled. "And if it weren't for them, things might not have gotten so screwy!"

"Screwy? How so?" Sasha asked.

"A demon ripped out of one of their bodies, killed the Deep Ones, resurrected the great Leviathan, and forced us to fight him…in turn-based combat!" Sam said. "It was terrible!"

Pikachu blinked. A demon? Turn-based combat? Why was he getting a very bad feeling about this? "We managed to beat him, because we're awesome like that," Max said. "But he cheated so he didn't die and was going to kill us, but our old friends, the Rubber Pants Commandoes, showed up in a helicopter to save us!"

Sasha stared. "Rubber _what_ now?"

Pikachu's head started throbbing. "A…a helicopter? Underwater? But…but how…that doesn't…that doesn't even make _sense!"_

"Yeah, that's what the guys in the sub said too for some reason," Sam said with a shrug.

Max snorted. "Psh, it's like you guys have never seen a helicopter crewed by a talking cigar-smoking chimpanzee and a pair of gun-toting babies before." Pikachu's eye twitched.

"The Rubber Pants Commandoes—and our car!—stayed behind to distract Leviathan and the demon while we made our getaway," Sam said. "The last we saw of them was a tremendous explosion…but one of the guys in the submarine said Leviathan and the demon were okay, so I'm sure the DeSoto and the Commandoes are too!"

"I'm sure they are, Sam. I'm sure they are," Max said condescendingly. Sam growled.

Pikachu frowned. "This demon…what was his name?"

"Mulan," Max said.

"No, that's the name of a legendary heroine from Chinese folklore who got an animated movie made about her by Disney in 1998, the demon's name was Mewgle," Sam said.

"Oh yeah, I always get those two mixed up," Max said.

Dawn started and Sasha and Pikachu gasped in horror. "Mewgle? He's _back?"_ Pikachu cried.

"I should have known we would not be rid of him so easily," Sasha hissed.

_I had hoped he would be one enemy of years I would not have to face,_ Dawn groaned.

Sam blinked. "Mewgle? You know him?"

"Unless there's some other game-obsessed demon that looks like Mew out there, then yes!" Pikachu said. He paused. "Uh, was the Mewgle you saw game-obsessed and looked like Mew?"

"What's a Mew?" Max asked. The Pokémon all stared at him in disbelief. What world had he come from that had no knowledge of the great Mother and progenitor of all life?

"He was obsessed with games," Sam reported. "Hence why he forced us to fight him in turn-based combat. He was also obsessed with someone named. 'Leo.'" He frowned. "Say, isn't that the name of that chubby turtle friend of yours who certainly isn't that nun sitting over there?"

"Yeah, the fanboy who wasn't nearly as obnoxious as Lorne," Max said.

"The friend for liiiiiiife!" someone shouted.

Pikachu, Sasha, Dawn, and Looker looked around in confusion. _Who said that?_ Dawn asked.

"That's irrelevant right now," Pikachu said, wisely deciding not to think about it. He rose from his seat. "Stealth be damned, if Mewgle's back and has control of some giant monster, then we _have_ to tell Leo right away, since he's probably that jerk's next target, since Mewgle holds a huge grudge against him that seems to go way beyond Leo defeating him a couple of times."

Sasha closed her eyes briefly. "While I sense danger on the horizon, it does not have Mewgle's particular flavor…but that does not mean he will not come for us in the near future. You are correct, we must tell Leo immediately."

_But discretely,_ Dawn pointed out as she got up as well. _While I suppose no harm can come of Fantina and her colleagues learning about Mewgle since they are potential allies and may be able to help us, there is no reason to let anyone else on this train know that they're riding along with the target of a psychotic demon with a game fetish._

Looker nodded in agreement. "And considering they already have to worry about being attacked by a psychotic ice witch with all sorts of even more vulgar and horrific fetishes connected to an organization that seeks to destroy the world, something like that would cause a panic."

Perking up, Max stood on his seat, opened his mouth, and started yelling, "HEY EVERYBODY, LISTEN UP! THERE'S-"

Sam tackled him off his chair and wrestled with him on the floor, clamping a hand over his mouth. Max bit it, and Sam winced as it broke the skin, knowing he'd need to disinfect that later. As the other passengers stared at him incredulously, he shouted, "Free drinks for everyone, from my blue slimy-skinned friend here!"

The passengers cheered, and Looker glared at Sam in annoyance, cheeks bulging in and out as he breathed. "It's not slime, it's mucus…" he grumbled.

"Aaaand with that, we're gone," Pikachu said as they hurried away from the table. "I swear, the sooner we get to Fichina and away from those guys, the better. Two more days stuck on this train with them is two days too many…"

"It could be worse," Sasha pointed out.

Pikachu was about to ask how, realized how foolish something like that would be considering everything they'd gone through so far, thought of several ways in which it _could_, in fact, get worse, and finally said, "You're right, it could. We could be stuck here for _three_ more days."

At that moment, Ash was also in a bit of an uncomfortable situation…but for a completely different reason. "You're saying that you and your girlfriend have three adopted children, all of whom hatched from eggs you found in the wild or on adventures?" he asked incredulously.

"Yep," Ritchie said, taking out some pictures and putting them on the table in front of Ash. He pointed to a picture of a beautiful Roselia. "This is our oldest, Marta. Melody found her in the middle of a field of crushed flowers one day while wandering through one of the city parks. We made some inquiries but we couldn't find any sign of a parent missing a Budew egg, so we decided to keep her. She's going to be a real looker when she evolves to her final form, but then again, aren't most Roserades?"

"Um…yeah…they are…" Ash said.

Ritchie pointed to an Ursaring. "This is our middle child, Roosevelt. Sparky and I found his egg on the way back from a visit to the local seer, Will the Xatu. He told us to check a hole in a tree shaped like a Soodowoodo that was an actual tree rather than a Soodowoodo. And there he was!"

"And there he was," Ash said faintly.

"Ritchie originally considered calling him Ritchie Junior, but I told him it wouldn't make a lot of sense since he wasn't of the same species as Ritchie, so he named him Roosevelt instead," Sparky explained.

"I dunno why, though…I think Junior would have made a nice name," Zippo said.

"Yeah, but Melody didn't think so, so Roosevelt it was," Ritchie said. He pointed to a picture of a Pichu. "And this one's my youngest, Ruby. Melody got her egg when she and some of the other Exploration Teams-"

"Exploration whats?" Ash asked.

"Oh, back home, lots of like-minded Pokémon band together in close-knit groups called 'Exploration Teams' who roam around the country, looking for treasures and making discoveries and helping people in need," Ritchie explained.

"My father and Ritchie's father were best friends and had a Team of their own back in the day, so it was inevitable we'd form one as well," Sparky explained.

"Isn't it so sweet the way friendships can be continued across generations?" Happy asked, sucking at the nectar she had been given to eat.

"Um…yeah…really…" Ash said, mind boggling.

"Anyway, Melody found Ruby's egg when she and some of the Teams were responding to a distress call from a nearby settlement of Electric-type Pokémon that had been attacked by barbarians. They were too late to save Ruby's mother, but before she succumbed to her injuries she gave her egg to Melody and asked her to take care of it," Ritchie continued.

"My family offered to adopt her, but Melody insisted that Ruby was her responsibility, and so she and Ritchie decided to raise her as their own," Sparky said.

"Which is really adorable…" Rose said with a blush.

"Y-yeah…it is…" Ash said, somewhat dazed. The similarities between him and Ritchie were unnerving, made only more so by the fact that they weren't one hundred percent identical. "Um…say…have you ever felt like you were a human in a past life, or that you were in fact a human from another world that somehow got turned into a Pokémon and thrown into this one?"

Everyone on Team Getem stared at him. "What? No, of course not," said the perplexed Ritchie.

"Yeah, mon, that sort of thing's wack. You only see it in bad fanfics and the like," Zippo agreed.

"Why, have you ever felt that way?" Lu asked.

"No! No, of course not, that would be silly," Ash said quickly, laughing nervously. "Um…anyway, I guess Cruise makes four, huh?"

"That's right!" the other Pupitar said happily. "I'm looking forward to meeting my new Mommy when we get the last few Plates and confront Judgment in their castle, wherever it is!"

"So, you're sure Melody's being held there, and hasn't been…er…sent into outer space or another dimension or something like that?" Ash asked.

Ritchie shook his head sadly. "No, but what happened to her is almost as bad. Judgment's top scientist, the sinister-"

"And hot," Zippo said, causing Rose to glare at him. "What? She is! And nicer than _your_ mom."

"That she is," Rose admitted reluctantly.

"Doctor Blackarachnia," Ritchie continued. "Told us that Melody's been turned to stone by one of Rose's mother's curses! But the power of the Plates should be able to save her."

"I hope so," Ash said. Turned to stone? Well, he supposed that could sort of be considered an opposite to what had happened to Misty, being dispersed everywhere…and made an eerie amount of sense, considering the twisted mirror logic going on here. "But…what about Cruise's biological parents? What happened to them?"

"My Daddy was captured by Judgment and has become one of their brainwashed slaves, while my Mommy's part of a criminal organization in Frodomar City who betrayed everyone to try and find a way to help him…and me," Cruise said sadly. "I don't know if I'll ever see them again…but if I don't, I know that Daddy and my new Mommy will take care of me!" Tiny stared at him in disbelief, eyes practically bugging out of his shell.

"That's right, you'll always have a place with us," Ritchie said, rubbing Cruise's head affectionately and causing him to giggle. "Melody'll love you for sure, once she meets you!"

"I'm…sure she will," Ash said awkwardly. "Um, say, how long have you two been a couple?"

"Oh, a long time now," Ritchie said.

"Initially, they pretended they were only friends and got in rather loud arguments with each other over the silliest things, but everyone could tell they were secretly in love with each other no matter how much they denied it," Sparky said. "Fortunately they decided not to drag it out for too long and confessed their feelings for each other relatively quickly."

"Oh…that's good…" Ash said sadly, looking at his plate and his mostly untouched meal. His heart ached briefly, and he knew that he should have admitted his feelings for Misty to her—and to himself—long before now. After his most recent flashback into his past, he knew there was no longer any point in lying to himself. What he felt for her…it went far beyond friendship. And…and once she got back to Earth…he hoped that they would be able to have a happier future together than they did in their previous life, and that whatever horrific and tragic end to that past life which lurked somewhere in the back of his mind wouldn't repeat itself. "I'm…glad for you."

"Thanks," Ritchie said. He sighed. "When we rescue her, I think I'm gonna marry her…I've been putting it off long enough…say, do you have anyone waiting for you back home?"

"Probably not, monks like him are usually celibate for life," Captain Salty said.

Zippo shook his head sadly. "Dude, what a horrible fate…why anyone would choose a lame-o path like that is totally beyond me, though."

"I'm glad Sparky's code of knighthood doesn't require him to stay celibate…or to wait until marriage to lose his virginity," Lu said with a lewd grin, causing the Pikachu to blush.

Ash blushed. "I…I'm not _with_ anyone, but…but there is this one girl…"

They all leaned closer at that. "Oh? Do tell," Happy said.

"Well…I have a friend. A female friend. And our relationship is…well, a lot like Sparky says that yours and Melody's was," Ash said to Ritchie. "But we never got to the point that you have. We're still at that stage you used to be at. So…how did you do it? How did you stop dawdling and move on to the next phase in your relationship?"

Ritchie broke into a grin. "Heh. A good question. You've come to the right mon, my friend. You see, what happened was-"

Abruptly, Tiny bumped into Ash. "Huh? What is it, Rico?" Ash asked. Tiny tried to point, remembered he didn't have hands, grunted in frustration, and tried to incline his shell so his horns were aimed at Pikachu, Sasha, and Dawn, who were walking towards the table Fantina, Leo, and Lily were seated at. Ash frowned.

"Hiori? Is something wrong?" Ritchie asked in concern.

"Hmm? Oh, it's nothing," Ash murmured, hoping that was indeed the case. He turned back to the table. "Now…what was it you were saying happened between you and Melody?"

Meanwhile, at Fantina's table, Lily was being overwhelmed as Fantina and Bow excitedly talked about all the sorts of things they were going to do once they got to Fichina. "Zere is so much to see and do!" Bow lamented. "It is a pity Mama 'as yet to find a way to perform 'time expansion,' ozzerwise we would be able to pack days of activity into a single 'our!"

"Couldn't you just use time magic?" Lily asked.

"Yes, but zat just makes time seem to pass faster or slower for one person, what I envision is a way to make ze day longer for _everyone_, so zey can find ze time to do all zose myriad important zings zey're always struggling to find opportunities to do!" Fantina explained. "Wiz power like zat, we could make up for all ze years of lost time we 'ave wizzout wasting ze present."

"Oh…that would be lovely," Lily said.

"But since we cannot do zat, we will 'ave to cram as much as we can into your stay wiz us," Bow said, fanning herself. "I know you 'ave an important mission to attend to, but surely you could spare a few days wiz us, _non_?"

"Well, I don't know-" Lily started.

"Oh, but you must!" Fantina insisted. "Zis will be your first visit to Fichina, ze place where, 'ad zings been different, you would 'ave grown up! Zere is so much for us to do togezzer, it would be criminal for you to leave wizzout sampling ze sights!"

"We can visit ze Floating Mountains and watch ze flying Wailord dance in ze Pearly Skysea," Bow suggested.

"Or attend a concert in ze Singing 'ills, which really _are_ alive wiz ze sound of music," Fantina said. "And very good music, at zat!"

"And if special effects are more your zing, ze light show at ze Crystal Cathedral can't be beat!" Bow added.

"Oh, and zen zere's ze Shifting Canyon," Fantina said.

"And ze Waterrise Stair," Bow said.

"And ze Academy of Magic!" Fantina said.

"And ze Rainbow Palace!" Bow said.

"Ze Labyrinzh of Worlds!" Fantina said.

"Ze mall at ze Tower of Commerce!" Bow said.

"Ze Shrine of Dreams!" Fantina said.

"Ze Magitech factory!" Bow said.

"Ze Forest of Light!" Fantina said.

"Ze City of Books!" Bow said.

"Ze Well of Souls!" Fantina said.

"Ze Temple of Mew!" Bow said with a fond sigh.

Fantina frowned at her daughter. "Are you sure? I don't know if Lily is ready for zat…"

"Oh come now! Lily has a boyfriend. Surely she could appreciate some…_education, non?_" Bow asked, winking and nudging Lily, a sly look on her face.

"…I don't follow," said a confused Lily. "What is there at a Temple of Mew for me to learn? Oh! Unless they have some new spells I could use?"

Bow chuckled. "Oh yes, zere's certainly _some _kind of magic going on zere…"

Her comment went completely over Lily's head. "Like what?"

Bow stared at Lily incredulously. "…You really don't know?"

"Of course she doesn't, considering who 'er mozzer is," Fantina tutted. "Bellum was probably banned from zose for life."

"Why?" asked the puzzled Lily.

"Well, because…" Fantina explained to her just what it was that people did at Mew's temples.

Lily gave her a horrified look. "They do _what?_"

"Mew is ze deity of love and life, and Mozzer of all zings, so it only makes sense zat zey would partake in such activities in 'er temple," Fantina said. "Zey call it 'worshipping ze goddess.'"

Bow giggled and fanned herself. "Sometimes we worship several times a week. We're regulars zere. I zink at least one of my sisters was conceived zere…"

Lily stared at them, aghast. "How is that different from…from…what are those called…brothels?"

Fantina sniffed. "Brozzels? Pah, zey do it for money and exploit zeir workers. At ze temple, zey do it for free to express zeir love for all creatures."

"And zeir libidos," Bow added.

"Yes, zat too," Fantina admitted.

Lily blushed. "Oh…um…I'd rather skip that stop, if it's all right with you."

"Why?" asked a puzzled Bow. "Wouldn't you like to 'ave some fun wiz your boyfriend?"

Lily turned redder. "That's, um, n-not really something we…do…"

It took Bow a few seconds to realize what Lily meant. "You 'aven't _done_ it yet?" she asked incredulously. "'Ave you even gone past second base?"

"…There's a first?" asked a confused Lily.

Bow stared at her in horror. "You poor dear. Your mozzer really has done a poor job of educating you, 'asn't she?"

"Considering Bellum's 'abits, it's probably for ze best she never tried to give Lily zat sort of education," Fantina said wisely.

"True, true," Bow admitted. "Well, we'll just 'ave to make up for zat, now won't we?"

Lily's blush turned, impossibly, even _redder_. "That-that's really not necessary," she stammered.

"Oh, but I insist! We must do somezing about zis. You want to keep your boyfriend, don't you?" Bow pressed. "Mozzer's not really ze type to commit to a single person-"

"Zhough zere was _one_ mon," Fantina said, a look of mingled joy and sadness in her eyes. She sighed. "But…it was not meant to be…"

"But if you want to keep zis 'Leo,' you must show you're willing to give 'im what he wants, lest 'e turn 'is eye elsewhere," Bow continued. "You know 'ow mons are, after all."

Lily's blush turned from one of embarrassment to anger. "H-he's not like that!" she protested.

"Perhaps not, but zat does not mean you cannot find _ozzer_ ways to make 'im deliriously happy and remind 'im 'ow lucky 'e is to 'ave you. We will schedule a full makeover for you at one of my salons," Fantina decided. "You already have quite ze charm, which is unsurprising considering who you are modeled off of…"

Lily's redness sprang from embarrassment again, and Bow chuckled. "Oh, Mama…"

"But wiz a little work, we can make a great beauty out of you," Fantina continued. "I already see glimpses of it. It was buried beneaz centuries of torture and abuse from your mozzer, but your friends 'ave begun to draw it out. You will be a real stunner once you mature some more."

Lily turned even redder. "I-I don't think…I mean…I'm not _that_ pretty…"

"No, but you could be," Bow said. She frowned at the marks on Lily's face. They had tried applying makeup to hide them, but the _wrongness_ of Giratina's curse seemed to seep through no matter how much they covered it up. "Hmm, but zose chains pose a bit of a dilemma…"

"Is there anything you can do about them?" Lily begged, eager to get off the subject of her looks. "I can break one of them on my own—I cast it on myself, after all—but if I do, then the other one will activate and send my soul screaming into the Abyss."

Fantina sighed when she heard this. "It never ceases to amaze me ze depzs to which your mozzer will stoop to…I try to see ze best in everyone, but no matter 'ow 'ard I look, zere doesn't seem to be _any_ good in Bellum. 'Ow can one person fill zemselves wiz so much evil?"

Ectoplasmic tendrils extended from under her hat and circled Lily, probing the chain-shaped curses. One cautiously touched one of the marks, and there was a spark of dark energy that caused Lily to flinch and Fantina to recoil. "Ouch!" Lily gasped.

Grimacing, Fantina retracted her tendrils. "I am sorry, but zere is nozzing I can do. Zis curse is beyond even my power to break. Ze only way it could be removed is to replace it wiz an even _stronger_ bond…but getting one of zose is 'ard to come by."

"Leo said he had an idea," Lily said, trying to hide her disappointment. "He said he was working on something that he thought could save me." She frowned. "He's been talking about it with my father too, now that I think about it."

Fantina raised an eyebrow and met Bow's gaze. They both glanced at Leo, who was pestering the harried-looking vampires on the other side of the table, then looked back at Lily. "Is zat so?" Bow murmured, hiding a smile behind her fan.

"Well, if my guess is right, zen I zink I know what Leo is working on…and I believe it 'as a good chance of working," Fantina said.

"You do?" Lily asked, a look of relief passing over her face. "Thank goodness! But…what is it, then? He's been so secretive about it…"

"Ah-ah-ah, zat is for _'im_ to tell you, not we," Fantina said, shaking her head. "After all, we don't want to spoil ze surprise, now do we?"

"_Non_, zat would not do at all!" Bow agreed. She and her mother giggled.

Lily frowned in disappointment. "You too? Why is everyone keeping me in the dark about this? It involves me, doesn't it?"

"Yes, but…let's just say zat once ze truz is finally revealed, you'll understand why you waited," Fantina said vaguely. "Anyway…you said your fazzer is in on it? 'e's Nuken Shinobu, one of ze leaders of ze Draconian Empire, _oui_?"

"Oui, I mean, yes," Lily said.

Bow shuddered. "'e's very creepy, even for a Ghost-type…"

"Tell me about it," Lily said in agreement.

"You are afraid of 'im?" Fantina intuited.

"…A little. Everything I've heard about him says he's not a very nice person," Lily said.

"'E's still better zan Bellum," Fantina pointed out.

"Zen again, zat's not very hard," Bow reminded her.

"I 'ave only met 'im a few times, but…while he may not be ze best of persons, one zing I am sure of is zat 'e loves you. Ozzerwise, would 'e 'ave searched for you even longer zan I 'ave?" Fantina pointed out.

"For all 'is faults, zat's one zing which makes him better zan Bellum, _oui_?" Bow asked.

"I…suppose," Lily admitted. She still wasn't sure how to feel about her father. That had been one of the reasons why, when he had invited her to his wedding in a few days, she he had turned him down. She had a legitimate exuse not to go, since she needed to come with the others on the Enchanted Express, but she'd also refused because she was genuinely afraid of him.

And yet…he'd seemed so disappointed when she told him she couldn't make it…

"Oh! And speaking of Bellum…I just remembered anozzer place we must take you to see," Fantina said, returning Lily to the present discussion.

"Where?" Bow asked.

"Ze Yuki'imi estate," Fantina said.

Lily blinked. "You mean…where Mother grew up?"

Bow frowned. "But Mama, zere is nozing zere. Just a lake. You should know, you're ze one who melted it in ze first place."

"_I_ didn't melt it, it was made of Nevermelt Ice," Fantina retorted.

"But…then how did it melt?" asked the confused Lily.

"Its magic was tied to ze Yuki'imi line, since it 'as been zeir 'ome for 'undreds of years," Fantina said. "Ze actions Bellum took, ze crimes she committed against 'er own kin…zey got 'er banished, and as a result, ze Yuki'imi family no longer existed in Fichina. Wiz no more Yuki'imis, ze family estate could no longer sustain itself. It melted into a vast lake, and 'as been like zat ever since."

"Oh…that's very sad," Lily said.

"Zat it is…'owever, zere are some who zink zat if ze Yuki'imis were ever to return to Fichina, ze Snow Palace would be restored to its full wintry beauty," Fantina said.

"Well, it's too bad Mother's banished and can never return, so that'll never happen," Lily said.

They stared at her. "…Lily, _you_ are a Yuki'imi," Bow reminded her.

Lily flushed. "Oh! Right…" She frowned. "But…my magic is fire, not ice."

"Yes, but…zat does not change ze fact zat you still retain ze Yukihimi ectoplasm, proof zat you are descended from noble spirits," Fantina pointed out. "Ze estate may react to you…or it may not. It is somezing worzh trying, zhough, don't you zink?"

"I suppose…" Lily said reluctantly. She wasn't sure she wanted to associate herself with anyplace related to Bellum. She didn't _like_ being Bellum's daughter, and she wasn't completely sure she wanted to be Nuken's daughter, either. In fact, the more time she spent with the elder witch, she found herself wishing she could be _Fantina's_ daughter instead…

_You can't choose your parents,_ B said. _Trust me, I know that from experience._

_I didn't know you had parents,_ Lily said.

_Well, I do,_ B said.

_Do you not get along?_ Lily asked.

_Oh no, I love them very much, it's just that sometimes they can be a little…difficult,_ B said vaguely. _It can be trying, being the only child of two of the most powerful beings in existence._

_Really? Who are they?_ Lily asked.

_I'd rather not talk about it right now,_ B said.

"Anyway," Fantina continued. "I know you are on a quest to save ze world, and I promise zat I will do everyzing in my power to 'elp you, but…I 'ope zat you will have time to relax and enjoy your visit in Fichina. You 'ave a birzhright zere, after all, should you wish to collect it."

"…I'll have to think about it," Lily said. "But…" She smiled. "From what you've said so far…I think I'll have a wonderful time."

The vampires Vladimir and Dean, on the other hand, were not having quite so wonderful a time. (Bob was fine since he had enough blood to drink from the little bowl they'd put on the ground for him.) Unsurprisingly, Leo was to blame, as he'd spent almost the entire dinner so far pestering them with questions about what it was like to be a vampire. "So salt doesn't bother you?" he asked giddily.

"No," they said dully.

"Or stakes?" Leo asked.

"No," they said dully.

"Or having your sock torn off, getting a mushroom stuffed in it, and then thrown into a river?" Leo asked.

"N…wait, what?" Vladimir asked in confusion.

"We don't even have socks," said the puzzled Dean.

"Just checking," Leo said. "And holy icons or water don't do anything to you?"

"No," they said dully.

"But silver and sunlight do?" Leo asked.

"Yes," they said dully.

"So you don't sp-" Leo started.

"No, for the last time, we don't sparkle!" Vladimir snapped.

"Nor can we impregnate people with babies which magically age several years in a few seconds once they're born," Dean said wearily. "Which is really gross, by the way."

"I don't even think we can reproduce," Vladimir said. "I mean, we can have sex, sure, but I'm _fairly_ certain we're infertile."

"Oh," Leo said with a frown. "Hmm, there goes that idea…I wanted kids…well, I suppose we could always adopt…"

"Ah, so you wish to be a vampire?" Vladimir asked.

"I'd have thought that was pretty obvious, considering he's spent the last several minutes asking us about it," Dean said.

"I desire immortality, so am exploring all options that will help me reach that goal," Leo explained. "Which includes vampirism. From what you guys have said so far, it sounds like a pretty cushy deal overall. I mean, yeah, there's that little problem with sunlight, but Fantina's working on some sort of magical sunblock that will fix that right up, isn't she?"

The vampires nodded. "Considering Fantina's company makes beauty products, developing a skin cream to protect extremely photosensitive skin like ours from being destroyed by the Sun's rays should not be too difficult," Dean said.

"If it weren't for the fact that we'd have a problem getting something to eat, I would see no problem with making the whole world into vampires," Vladimir commented. "But since we can substitute blood to some extent with iron supplements, and artificial blood is another thing our gracious hostess is looking into, I don't see that as being an obstacle for much longer."

Leo frowned. "You…might want to keep talk like that on the down-low. You guys have sympathy and goodwill from the public at the moment, but if they think you're plotting world domination, they'll probably turn on you."

"I suppose…" Vladimir murmured reluctantly. "But I do not see _why_ anyone would not wish to be a vampire, or serve one. Aside from the obvious benefits of incredible power and longevity, there's also the *ahem* sensuality…"

Dean made a disgusted face, while Leo rubbed his chin in thought. "Hmm…the famous 'kiss of the vampire,' huh?"

"Oh, it's more than just a kiss," Vladimir said lewdly, causing Dean to gag. "Anyway, aside from that, there's also the fact that the world would be at peace. There would no longer be war or famine or discrimination-"

"Other than the somewhat blatant classism caused by vampires existing in a hierarchical caste-based system," Dean grumbled.

Vladimir ignored him. "Because we would all be one people beneath the Mistress, sheltered under her benevolent shadow." He sighed unhappily. "Oh, how I miss her…"

Dean's face sagged. "Yeah, me too…" Bob moaned piteously.

"You guys can't get in touch with her? I thought you had some sort of mystical network thing going on," Leo said.

"We do, but we are too far from her and the rest of our brethren back at the Nihilator headquarters," Vladimir lamented. "I can only _just_ sense them in the back of my mind…I can barely feel the Mistress's all-enveloping darkness at all…"

Dean grimaced. "If it weren't for the fact that I still have the other two in my head, it'd feel like I was all alone…almost, ugh, like being _mortal_ again."

"What's wrong with being mortal?" Leo asked.

"You should know. You want to be immortal, don't you?" Vladimir pointed out. "Which implies you are not satisfied with having a limited lifespan like you do now."

"…Well, yeah, I guess," Leo admitted. "Even before I hooked up with an immortal Ghost, it's what I've wanted."

"We can give it to you, if you wish," Vladimir offered.

"I'll…think about it," Leo murmured. "But anyway…you're too far away to talk to your friends back at the Nihilator base?"

The vampires nodded. "Both our fellow vampires and our allies in the rebel network," Dean said.

"So you have no idea what's going on back there, or even if Gardevoir or this 'Teacher' guy are still okay…" Leo muttered.

"Well, we know they're still _alive_," Vladimir said. "We can sense that much, and that our numbers are growing, which is a good sign. More than that, though, we cannot say."

"But from the time you guys spent there, you learned a lot about the Nihilators' plans and weaknesses, right?" Leo pressed.

"Oh, most certainly. We would be more than happy to tell you what we know," Vladimir said. "It was an order directly from the Mistress that we get in touch with you if at all possible."

"I'm not sure what good our knowledge will do you, though, considering how difficult it's going to be to even get to the Nihilator fortress in the first place," Dean lamented.

Leo frowned. "Why? Where is it?"

"Somewhere it will be almost impossible to reach," Vladimir said sadly. "None other than-"

"Hello, lords and ladies! How would you like a drink?" a Tangrowth in a waiter's outfit asked as he approached the table, holding a tray with a bottle of wine and half a dozen glasses on it. The vampires tensed, and Bob growled, sensing something…odd that none of them quite understood.

"Oh, 'ow lovely! I suppose I could use somezing to wet my zhroat, after all zis talking," Fantina said. "Sister Lilandra, would you like some?"

"Huh? Oh, uh…sure, why not?" Lily said, remembering at the last second who she was supposed to pretend to be.

"I could use a good drink mahself, sugah! Is that a good vintage, boy?" Leo drawled.

"A very good one. It came from an excellent year," the Tangrowth said, showing them the label on the bottle. They murmured, impressed.

"Why, it's even older than I am!" said the amazed Lily.

"Well, you know what zey say, ze older, ze better," Bow tittered.

"Hmm, I suppose we shall have some as well," Vladimir said, tabling his uncertainties for the moment in anticipation of some fine wine.

"A little blood should make it palatable for us to drink," Dean said. Bob started panting eagerly, but Dean shook his head. "No Bob, you're an unsophisticated mutt. No wine for you." The Electrike whined in dismay and gave the Wooper puppy-vampire eyes, but Dean didn't budge.

"Very good!" the Tangrowth said, putting the tray on the table. "Now, if you'll just let me-"

"Hold on a moment," Butler growled, grabbing the Tangrowth by the arm and pulling him back.

"Hey, let go of me!" the waiter protested.

"Not until we verify this is safe for the Mistress and her guests to drink," Butler said.

Fantina rolled her eyes. "Oh Butler, really!"

"We cannot be lax in the slightest where your protection is concerned, Mistress. You know how ruthless Bellum is," the Dusclops reminded her. Fantina grunted in reluctant agreement.

"Hmm…" Diane picked up the glass and examined it carefully, eyes glowing as she scanned it for any foreign contaminants. "Well, the seal is unbroken, and there's no indication of it being tampered with in any way I can tell…and the ingredients seem to be innocuous, or as innocuous as alcohol ever is."

"You see? Nothing to worry about!" the Tangrowth said.

"Check the glasses just to be safe," Butler said. "Expert poisoners know better than to apply their deadly elixirs in the obvious places. The rims might be envenomed, I've seen it before."

"Ooh, yeah, good idea, hun," Leo said. "And while you're at it, check the bottle or the stems of the glasses for contact poison. Maybe even the tray too, just to be safe."

"An excellent idea, Mother Leonora," said the impressed Diane.

"Oh, come on!" the waiter protested as the Kirlia examined the tray and glasses. "If they were poisoned, wouldn't I be at risk, too?"

"If you were an unwitting pawn rather than the assassin, then yes, you could be," Butler said.

"And besides, you're part Poison-type, so you have a high tolerance to most toxins," Diane said. "Hmm…but I don't sense anything out of the ordinary here. No poisons or curses or traps of any kind that I can make out."

"You see? It's like I said, nothing to worry about," the waiter said.

"I told you zat you were being overly cautious, Butler," Fantina tutted.

"Just doing my job, milady," the Dusclops said, letting go of the Tangrowth.

"Could you do it a little less roughly?" the waiter asked with a huff. "Honestly, some people…"

Butler broke the seal on the bottle, pulled out the cork, and poured an equal amount of wine into each glass. Diane produced a vial of blood and carefully added a few drops to two of the glasses, turning them redder. Her eyes glowed, and the glasses levitated off the tray and into the hands of the Pokémon sitting around the table. "Miladies, milords, and honored guests, I hope you will enjoy this drink," she said primly.

"You can bet we will, hun!" Leo said with a grin.

"But first we must have a toast…it would not be proper without one," Vladimir pointed out.

"Hmm…well, what is it we want ze most right now?" Bow pondered.

"The final defeat of Bellum and her cohorts?" Lily asked.

"A safe journey to Fichina?" Leo suggested.

"A reunion with the Mistress and all our other imprisoned friends?" Dean said soberly.

"Ah, zat is it!" Fantina said brightly. "We shall 'ave a toast to ze defeat of evil and ze safe return of friends. 'ow is zat?"

"I rather like it," Lily said.

"Quite, it sounds most excellent to me as well," Vladimir agreed.

"Very well…" Fantina raised her glass. "To ze defeat of evil and ze safe return of friends!"

"To the defeat of evil and the safe return of friends!" the others echoed, raising their glasses. They clinked them against each other. The Tangrowth grinned beneath the vines covering his face as they opened their mouths to drink, delighted everything was going according to plan…

When suddenly Pikachu, Dawn, and Sasha approached the table. "Your Grace," Pikachu said, bowing. "I apologize for the interruption, but I have recently come into some rather troubling information that concerns one of your guests."

The diners paused, the glasses only millimeters from their mouths. "_Que?_ What is it?" Fantina asked, lowering her glass. The Tangrowth stifled a curse as the others followed suit.

Pikachu turned to Leo. "Mother…Leonora, was it?"

"That's mah name, don't wear it out," Leo said.

"My soothsayer has just had a rather worrying vision…concerning you!" Pikachu said.

Leo frowned, and Lily shot him a concerned look. "Who, me?"

"Yes, you," Pikachu said.

"Hmm, let's hear it, then," Vladimir commanded.

Pikachu glanced at Sasha. "Kutabe?"

The Absol stepped forward. "An enemy from your past thought dead has returned, stronger than ever…a fell demon from the Abyss, who toys with souls and plays games with fates worse than death at stake for any fool enough to challenge him."

Leo started, and Lily gasped. "No! You don't mean…Mewgle's back?" he shouted, so alarmed he forgot his accent.

Sasha nodded. "Yes…that is the fiend's name. He has risen from the depths of the ocean, with a beast known as the Leviathan at his command, seeking vengeance against you."

"Leviathan? Crap. Where's the Royal Knights of Pokelantis when you need 'em?" Leo moaned.

"Ze who?" asked a confused Bow.

"Er, nobody important, sug," Leo said quickly.

Almost identical frowns crossed Fantina and Lily's faces. "Leviathan…I have heard of that beast…" Lily murmured.

Fantina nodded. "As have I…hmm, so zat must have been ze source of ze disturbance in ze ruins of 'yperbeamoria I detected a few days ago. And it 'as been released by Mewgle? I have 'eard of zat name as well…and none of it good."

"No kidding! Mon, I knew I hadn't seen the last of that guy…" Leo murmured.

"Do you think he will come here?" Lily asked.

Dean moaned. "Great, _another_ maniac to worry about…"

"That I do not know," Sasha said apologetically.

Fantina frowned and rose from her seat. "Zis will require swift action…Butler, inform ze security forces zat we may 'ave a demon and somezing even _worse_ on ze horizon."

"At once, milady," the Dusclops said, bowing and disappearing.

"And I find I am no longer in a mood to eat…let us adjourn to my quarters to discuss zis, and certain…ozzer matters in private. _Mon beau_ samurai, since your soozsayer was ze first to be aware of zis zreat, would you care to join us?" Fantina asked.

Pikachu bowed, and Dawn curtsied. "I would be honored, Your Grace." When Sasha didn't do anything, he nudged her, and she quickly did her best to kneel. "However, if this is to be a strategy meeting, I believe there are certain fellow passengers who might be of assistance?"

"Right you are, hun!" Leo said, quickly seeing where Pikachu was going.

Fantina nodded in agreement. "Indeed. Diane, could you please invite _Monsieurs_ Hiori and Rico and _Professeur_ Brindleworz to my suite? Zey may be of use to us."

The Kirlia curtsied. "At once, milady." She Teleported away.

Vladimir sighed. "Oh dear…and I wasn't finished eating, either."

"Eh, we can always order room service," Dean said. Bob didn't say anything, both because he was too stupid to and because he was gnawing on the table leg.

"W-wait!" the Tangrowth protested in alarm. "What about your wine?"

"We don't have time for that now, we have business to attend to," Lily said.

"But surely you have time for one for the road?" the waiter pleaded.

"Well…I never _could_ say no to a glass of fine wine," Bow admitted, reaching for her glass. The others shrugged and reached for their own. Sasha stiffened, danger-sense going off. She opened her mouth in warning…

Abruptly, the nervous-looking Rattata rose to his feet, coughed, and tapped a spoon against his glass. "Ah, excuse me, ladies and gentlemons, could I have your attention please?" He smiled when everyone turned towards him, looks of curiosity and annoyance on their faces. "Yes, thank you. I apologize for the inconvenience, but…" He opened his jacket, and revealed, to their horror, that a rather large and dangerous-looking bomb was strapped to his waist. "I am holding this car hostage, and if my demands are not met, I will blow us all sky-high."

Everyone stared at him in shock. Then all the fighters rose to their feet, the mages started chanting incantations, Bruno strode forward, George aimed her crossbow, Todd took a pictue, and the Rattata tutted and waved a finger in caution. "Ah, ah, ah, I wouldn't do that if I were you. This bomb is rigged to go off if any spell, energy blast, Psychic attack, or Pokémon gets within ten feet of me. I have no wish to kill anyone, but if that is what it will take to fulfill my mission, then that's what I'll do."

"Wh-what do you want?" Silvia cried in alarm. "Because if it's money you want, we have plenty of it, and we'll pay you whatever you want!"

"Wait, we will?" Goldor asked in alarm.

"Goldor, now is not the time!" she hissed.

The Rattata shook his head. "I have no interest in wealth."

"Then are you here to kill us? That's it, isn't it? You're an assassin sent by Bellum or the Nihilators, to silence us and prevent us from telling the whole world what we know!" Vladimir accused. The Tangrowth frowned in puzzlement, because he was pretty sure that was _his_ job. Who was this guy?

The Rattata scowled. "You would group me with the likes of monsters such as them? No, I am not a sinner. I am naught but a humble servant of justice…or rather, Judgment."

Ritchie gasped. "Then you're part of Judgment!"

"Yes, that is what I just said," the Rattata said patiently.

"Er, who now?" Rebecca asked.

"A group of religious zealots sworn to purge the world of all evil by any means necessary, who seek to use the Plates of Arceus to empower their leader with the divine might of the Creator Himself," Cherry said, not looking worried by the terrorist threat in the slightest.

"Oh," Rebecca said.

"We aren't zealots!" the Rattata said angrily. "We are following Arceus' Will! We are the true believers, who seek to enact his grand plan and bring forth the promised paradise on Earth! We're just trying to do it a little ahead of schedule, that's all."

"Yep, sounds like a zealot to me," Briney grumbled, wondering if he should try crushing the rodent's throat with his mind in spite of the warning. How bad could this explosion be, anyway?

Pikachu facepalmed. "Oh for the love of…how many evil organizations trying to take over the world are there?"

"You'd be surprised, hun," Leo said.

"We're not evil! Everyone else is!" the Rattata insisted. "And that's why we must destroy all evil, so the world will be good and pure again!"

"Any world that would be created by such methods can _never_ be considered good and pure!" Sparky said, drawing his sword.

The Rattata sniffed. "Well, that's your opinion, isn't it? In any event…Team Getem, I have been sent to take from you what rightfully belongs to our leader, Light of Justice! Give me the Plates you have collected, or I will destroy this train and everyone on it!"

"We'll _never _give you the Plates!" Ritchie said. Ash blinked and exchanged looks with Tiny, again feeling a bizarre sense of déjà vu. It was almost as if they'd become side characters in somebody else's adventure…how disconcerting.

"Oh well, I guess we all die then," the Rattata apologized, reaching for a button on his bomb.

"W-wait! Let's not be so hasty!" Rose said quickly.

"Yeah, dude, surely there's some way we can work this out without wiping out!" Zippo said.

"There is nothing to work out. Either you give me the Plates, or I'll kill us all! Judgment can retrieve the Plates from our remains, and you'll all thank me when we get to the Celestial Heavens," the Rattata said.

"…He's totally crazy," said a stunned Buck.

"Yes, well, that's terrorists for you, lad," Briney murmured, trying to think a way out of this.

"I'm not a terrorist! I'm a servant of Arceus!" the Rattata claimed.

"What's the difference?" Max asked. The Rattata fumed.

"Mama, isn't zere somezing you can do?" Bow whispered to her mother as the Rattata argued with Team Getem.

"I'm trying to zink of a way zat won't get us blown up," the Mismagius murmured back. "I could try a containment spell, but I'm not certain ze casting won't set ze zing off before I finish…"

"Couldn't you use that matter-creation trick you've been working on?" Lily asked.

"How? Ze magic I used to make any object to stop him would trigger ze bomb," Fantina said.

"What if you thought up a bombproof metal dome with a radius of eleven feet—just outside of his range-and dropped it on top of him, so when he exploded it would harm nobody but himself?" Leo suggested. "And the floor, I guess."

Fantina gave him a surprised look. "_Mon dieu!_ That's brilliant!"

Leo smirked. "Yeah, I know." Pikachu sighed.

However, she didn't get the chance. "All right, you leave me no choice!" the Rattata declared, seeing Team Getem's desperate attempts to buy some time for what it was. "If you will not give me what I want, then I will take all of our lives instead!" He reached for the detonation switch…

And there was a loud bang and a sharp 'twang,' and suddenly there was an arrow jutting out of his throat and a large bloody hole in his head, with another one in the back of his skull and lots of blood and bone fragments splattering the wall. His jaw dropped, saliva and red foam gurgling from it as he quivered and fell from the floor, quite dead. All eyes turned in astonishment to Sam, holding a smoking gun, and George, who reloaded her crossbow. "What?" the not-Houndoom asked. "He said his bomb would be set off by magic, energy or psychic attacks, or anyone approaching him. He never said anything about fast-moving projectiles."

"Huh, guess we think alike," George said with a smirk. Sam fidgeted awkwardly.

Stunned and still not sure what had just happened, slowly everyone applauded the canine duo. "Sam, I don't believe it! You actually killed someone that was a person rather than a mindless mook with your gun! I can't remember the last time you did that!" said an amazed Max.

"I know little buddy, I'm as surprised as you are," Sam said. "I'm so used to shooting at things that are immune to bullets or using my gun to solve puzzles I'd almost forgotten what it was like to kill someone with it. Sorry about offing your suspect, Looker, but it was him or us."

"Oh, he wasn't my suspect," Looker said.

"He wasn't?" Max asked in surprise.

"Then who was? Er, is?" Sam asked.

"I'd rather not say…" the Croagunk murmured, surreptitiously glaring at one of the other diners.

"Well, that was exciting!" Rebecca commented after the tension eased out of the room and everyone was able to relax again, a pair of conductors coming in to collect the Rattata's body and dispose of it properly once the bomb had been disarmed by a bomb disarming machine Leo had been conveniently carrying in his shell. When asked why he'd been carrying a bomb disarming machine, he explained that all Mothers of the Sisterhood of the Bountiful Gracidea had one 'just in case.' When asked why he hadn't used it in the first place, he shouted at them for 'hatin' on his religion.' (Incidentally, that's the same argument he used when someone caught him snogging Lily in the hallway.) "I wish I'd actually been able to _see_ it, though."

"Don't worry, you didn't miss anything," her Girafarig friend said. "_Tomorrow,_ now…that's something you're going to wish you could have seen with your own eyes."

"Why, what's happening tomorrow?" Rebecca asked. Cherry smiled enigmatically and lowered her head back to her plate, levitating some of the food to her backside so her tail could eat. When Cherry said nothing more, the female Hypnos huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. "You're smiling enigmatically, aren't you? I hate it when you do that." Cherry giggled.

"Does stuff like that happen often on this train?" Briney asked, somewhat disappointed he hadn't gotten a chance to bust some heads.

"I hope so, because that was cool!" Buck said.

"Buck!" Silvia cried.

"What? It was!" the Baltoy said, and Briney had to agree.

"You there! Bruno! I thought you were supposed to protect us! How do you explain this utter failure to ensure our safety? That madmon could have killed us all!" Goldor angrily shouted at the Machamp. "I should sue you for failure to live up to your contract!"

Bruno flushed in embarrassment. "Well, I-"

"It wasn't his fault," Cherry spoke up. "The Rattata wasn't wearing the bomb when he came into the room. A collaborator in the kitchen snuck its components into his food, and he constructed it under the guise of eating messily. Since the wards on this car are keyed to pick up hostile magic, rather than technology, it flew under the radar."

"Oh," Goldor said. "Well…I guess I'll sue whoever didn't think to set the wards to watch out for technology, too."

Silvia rolled her eyes. "Must you sue anyone?"

"I'm in the mood to sue _someone_, womon, and it doesn't matter who!" he snapped.

"So he had an accomplice, huh? I'd better look into that…thank you, miss," Bruno said gratefully to the Girafarig.

"No problem," Cherry said as the Machamp left the car, presumably to take care of the other Judgment member.

"How did you know all that?" Rebecca asked.

"I foresaw myself telling him that," Cherry said.

"…But then…you knew about the bomb all along? Why didn't you warn anyone?" the Hypno demanded incredulously.

"Because if I did, then I wouldn't have had to explain all that to Bruno, now would I?" Cherry said reasonably. "And whenever I change the future, it gives me a migraine, and since I have two heads, it's excruciatingly painful, so it seemed best not to bother." Rebecca sweatdropped.

Diane the Kirlia appeared. "Professor Brindleworth?"

"Yes, that would be me," Briney said.

"Her Grace the Duchess Fantina would like a word with you in her quarters," Diane said.

"Oho, a 'word.' I know what that's a euphemism for," Goldor snickered.

"What?" Buck asked.

His father hesitated. "Er…"

"Ooh, can we come too?" Silvia asked hopefully.

"No," Diane said flatly. Silvia's face fell. (Probably.)

"I'll…get you an autograph or something, mum," Briney promised reluctantly.

"Oooooh, could you?" Silvia asked hopefully. "Thank you ever so much! And if you can't get one of those, a used handkerchief or a lock of her hair will do just as well!"

Her family stared at her. "Mom, is there something you'd like to tell us?" Buck asked slowly.

"I'm starting to think you'd rather be married to her than to me…" Goldor grumbled.

The female Claydol turned red. "Don't judge me!" Briney and Diane sweatdropped.

"That was some nice shooting," George said as she approached Sam, Max, and Looker's table. "What kind of weapon is that?"

"It's called a 'gun,'" Sam explained, showing it off to her.

"My, it's so big…however do you fit it in your holster?" the Mightyena asked, impressed.

"I've never really thought about it, it just manages, somehow," Sam said, glancing at the gun barrel. Max started snickering, much to Sam's puzzlement.

"How does it work?" George asked.

"I pull this trigger, dropping a pre-cocked hammer that discharges a cartridge, causing a projectile called a 'bullet' to fire at high-speeds from the other end and splatter the brains of whatever perp is unlucky enough to get in its path," Sam said.

"It must be very powerful," George said.

"Well, it _is _a Smith & Wesson Model 29 .44 magnum," Sam said proudly.

"…I have no idea what that means," George said.

"I don't think Sam does, either," Max commented.

"Max!" Sam hissed.

"Where can I find one of those?" George asked.

"I'm afraid you can't, there don't seem to be any others in this world," Sam said. "Such a pity."

"What about mine?" Max asked, taking out his gun.

"I meant that mine's the only Smith & Wesson Model 29 .44 magnum around, yours is a Luger P08," Sam said. "I don't see why she'd want one like that, mine is _much_ bigger."

"Yeah, well bigger isn't always better!" Max said.

"At least I know how to _aim_ mine," Sam said. "Whenever you fire your gun, you shoot bullets all over the place, _I_ make sure to hit my mark."

"Yes, but does it _penetrate?_" Max asked snidely. Looker coughed and struggled not to choke on his food.

"It penetrated that rat's head just fine a few minutes ago," Sam pointed out.

George smirked. "Well, perhaps you'd like to show me what _else_ you can hit and penetrate some other time?" Looker's eyes bulged.

"Gladly, I'd love to engage in some target practice with you, maybe you'll provide a better challenge than this onionhead," Sam said, gesturing to Max.

"What'd onions ever do to you, Sam? Huh?" Max demanded.

"They make me cry," Sam said.

"_I_ make you cry, but you never call me 'Maxhead!' Why's that, Sam?" Max demanded. Sam sighed and facepalmed.

"… Target practice. Right," George said, eyes shifting. "That's exactly what I meant."

"How about we meet on the roof at midnight and see what kind of things we can shoot in the pitch darkness?" Sam suggested.

She smirked. "I'd love to."

"Well, this should be an amusing diversion," Sam commented as the Mightyena left.

"…I don't think she was actually asking you to engage in target practice," Looker said.

Sam frowned. "Why, what makes you say that? If it wasn't target practice, what else could it possibly be?"

"I…oh, never mind," Looker groaned, deciding it wasn't worth it.

"Aw mon, I can't believe those jerks followed us all the way here," Ritchie complained.

Zippo nodded in agreement. "Yeah, what a bummer…"

"And we didn't even get to kill him, either," Lu grumbled.

"Don't worry, I'm sure you'll get a chance to kill plenty more Judgment goons some other time," Sparky said, which seemed to cheer the Eevee assassin up a little.

"I for one am happy we didn't have to fight anyone for a change," Rose said.

"I'm not, I like fighting," Salty said.

"I think most of us do," Lu agreed.

"I don't," Cruise said.

"I said 'most,' not all," Lu repeated.

Ritchie grimaced. "I'd hoped we wouldn't endanger anyone by being here…I figured the train would be safe. I can't believe we missed that guy when we scanned the place…maybe all the magic here was interfering with our Aura-sight or something. Too bad Judgment goons don't have an abnormal telltale Aura to distinguish them from everyone else like the Shadow Pokémon of legend. That would sure be convenient." Ash coughed, and Tiny fidgeted nervously. Ritchie didn't notice. "All these people could have been hurt because of us…maybe we should get off at the next stop and find another way to Fichina."

"That would require us having to trek several hundred miles through a very hot, dry, and hostile desert," Sparky said.

"And I don't _do_ deserts," Salty grunted.

"Neither do I, brudda," Zippo said.

"…Zippo, you're a Fire-type," Rose pointed out.

"Yeah, one who grew up on the coast, hanging ten on the big kahunas!" Zippo pointed out. "Besides, deserts are more for Ground-types, anyway."

"Which none of us are, last time I checked," Lu said.

"Um, I am," Cruise pointed out.

"Yes, but you're more suited for mountains than deserts," Lu said, which was true.

"I suppose you guys are right…I guess there's nothing else we can do but keep going and nothing else like this happens again." Ritchie smiled apologetically at Ash. "Sorry about that…one of the hazards of being a group of traveling adventurers, I suppose. Getting attacked by enemies in random places probably isn't something that happens to monks like you, right?"

Ash laughed nervously. "Er, no, of course not. Almost never…" Tiny fidgeted, Ash's deep sense of guilt and embarrassment resonating with his own.

"They don't? Wait, which kind of monk are you, the uber-cool martial arts masters from movies, or the lame-o boring pacifistic kind?" Zippo asked.

"A bit of both. I'm trained to defend myself, but I don't seek out a fight and try to resolve matters peacefully," Ash said, which was a complete and utter lie and he knew it.

Fortunately, Ash was rescued from telling more lies when Diane appeared with Briney. "Monks Hiori and Rico? My Mistress would like a word with you," the Kirlia said.

Zippo Mightyena-whistled. "Oh, a _word_, huh? I know what that's a euphemism for!"

"What?" Cruise asked innocently.

Everyone hesitated. "Uh…" Zippo said uncertainly.

"Ooh, can we come too? I've always wanted to meet Fantina Fantasma!" Rose asked excitedly.

"No," Diane said flatly. The Tailow's face fell in disappointment.

"I, uh, suppose we could get you an autograph or something," Ash said awkwardly.

"Oh, could you? That would be great!" Rose said excitedly.

"Sure thing," Ash said.

There was a pause. "Aren't you going to ask him to get you a used handkerchief or a lock of her hair while he's at it?" Briney asked.

Rose frowned. "What? No, that would be gross. Why would I?"

"Er, no reason, ma'am," the Metang said quickly.

"Well, zat was certainly an invigorating experience," Fantina commented back at her table. "And it only proves zat we must act swiftly. If someone completely unrelated to Bellum or ze Nihilators was able to almost blow us all up, imagine what sort of damage a demon wielding ze power of ze Leviazzan could cause!"

"Quite a lot, I'd imagine," Pikachu said.

"Then let us return to our quarters so we may plan a proper strategy," Vladimir suggested.

"Indeed," Lily agreed.

"W-wait, what about your drinks? You haven't touched them yet!" the Tangrowth protested as they all got up from the table.

"I don't zink I'm really in ze mood for a drink after zat little scare," Bow said.

"I am, but for somethin' a lot heavier, if y'all catch my drift," Leo said.

"And I'd rather have blood over alcohol any day, to be honest," Dean admitted.

"It would be a shame to waste such fine wine, zough…Butler, could you take our drinks back to ze room? We can have zem zere," Fantina said to her valet as he returned.

"As you wish, Mistress," Butler said.

"N-no! It has to be…I mean…what's wrong with having them right here?" the waiter asked.

Pikachu frowned, narrowing his eyes suspiciously. "What business of it is yours where they have their wine? Why do you care so much?"

"Um, I don't, I-I mean-" the Tangrowth said nervously.

Sasha growled, her hair standing on end. "I sensed danger earlier, and I thought it was coming from that Rattata…and it was, but he wasn't the only source! This one is not what he seems!"

Pikachu drew his sword as Dawn reached for the kunai hidden in her robes. "Oh really?"

"N-no! It's not what you think!" the Tangrowth protested.

Vladimir gasped. "Wait a minute…I _thought_ there was something strange about you! Now I know what it is! You have no heartbeat!"

Everyone stared at him. "Vladimir, 'e's a Grass-type. Many of zem don't _'ave_ 'earts," Bow said.

"Oh. Er, never mind," Vladimir said in embarrassment.

"But _there_ is something wrong with him," Dean admitted. "He _looks_ like a Tangrowth, but he doesn't quite…_feel_ like one…"

"Who are you? Or rather, _what_ are you?" Butler asked angrily, eye glowing ominously.

"W-well, the thing is…oh, the Abyss with it," the Tangrowth groaned, extending his arms past and around the Dusclops to the table, grabbing it by the edge and flipping it over on top of the surprised Butler. Then he hurled a ball of golden energy into the air. "Die, vampires, die!"

The ball burst into an orb of sunlight, casting lethal UV at Vladimir, Dean, and Bob…and doing absolutely nothing because at the last moment Fantina conjured up several mirrors to shield them and deflect the beams of solar energy. The assassin sweatdropped, seeing his Sunny Day stratagem had failed. "Oh, crap."

Pikachu drove his sword into the Vine Pokémon's side. He screamed and staggered back, pink slime oozing from the wound. Pikachu gasped, as did everyone else in the room. "He's a Ditto!"

"It's Brodie!" Lily realized.

"Huh? How'd you know my name?" the faux Tangrowth asked in surprise.

Lily hesitated. "Er…"

"Who _hasn't_ heard of the infamous master of disguise, scourge of Twilight's Edge, and minion of the wicked Bellum?" Leo said quickly.

"I haven't," Buck said.

"Nobody asked you, dear," Silvia said.

"Damn!" Brodie cursed, reverting to his true form. "You may have foiled my plan, but you'll _never_ catch-" With a roar of fury, Butler hurled the table off of him, the piece of furniture flying through the air and smashing one of the fountains. "Eek! Time to skedaddle!" He tried to slither away, only for magical fields to shimmer to life over the doors and windows, sealing him in as the defense wards activated. "Oh, Abyss. Well…fine! If I can't escape, I'll take you all on! I was sent here to kill Fantina and those stool Pidgeys, and that's what I'm gonna do!"

"Brodie, you _do_ realize you're a single mon against a couple of dozen, among which number some of the most powerful mages in the world, right?" Pikachu asked as pretty much everyone in the room got up and drew their weapons or started preparing spells.

Brodie gulped. "Er…well…you may be lots of mons, but I can be _any_ mon! Let's see which of those is stronger, shall we?"

Here's a hint: it wasn't him.

One short and pathetically one-sided beatdown later…

"Okay, that could have gone better," a very beaten and worn-out Brodie moaned.

"You think?" Bruno asked, folding his many arms.

"Ha, did that sucka really think he had a chance against all of us?" Leo taunted.

"Well, he's never been the brightest…er…or so I've heard…" Lily said quickly.

"Yes, I've heard that too," Rose said.

"Do you think we're gonna get to beat him up some more, Sam?" Max asked giddily.

"One can only hope, little buddy," Sam replied.

"Whoa…who'd have thought there'd be _two_ completely different assassination attempts on the same train ride? Pretty wild, huh?" Ritchie asked Ash.

"Uh, yeah, wild…" Ash said. "Certainly never had anything like this happen to us before, right Rico?" The Pupitar nodded uncertainly.

"Oh my…and to think that all this happened while I was in my room…a shame I missed out on all the action," Palmer, a latecomer to the party, said. He was back in his persona of the great wizard Kairyu, and Dawn had no intention of blowing his cover.

"Well, at least you're here now," Pikachu said. He didn't know what was going on between Dawn and the Dragonite, but from the way she'd chased after him earlier he _knew_ something was up with them. He only hoped Dawn would tell him about it later. Yes, he could order her to, but as he'd said before he felt uncomfortable ordering her to do things. Despite everything she'd said, he still preferred to think of her as a friend rather than a servant. "And so long as you don't leave, you shouldn't miss out on anything…"

"Assuming anything happens, that is," Sasha said.

"Oh, something will happen, all right," Cherry said with a vague smile. "Though you may find it…exasperating…"

"And of course, you're not going to tell anyone what that is?" Rebecca asked.

The Girafarig smiled. "Nope! I'm going to have to live through it twice, so I see no reason to lessen the stupidity for anyone else!" Rebecca sweatdropped.

Todd snapped several pictures. "This is gonna be great! I can't wait to see the commission I'll get for this!" he said excitedly after spitting out the latest batch of photos.

"Just like I can't wait to see how much money I'm going to get for suing the train company for letting _two_ assassins onboard," Goldor said cheerfully. Silvia rolled her many eyes.

After thoroughly and utterly defeating Brodie, they'd dragged the shapeshifter to the Judgment agent's old room, since he wouldn't be using it. The Ditto had been placed inside a binding circle so that he couldn't escape or Transform into anything, so it would be easier to question him. The interrogation was open only to the security personnel, which is naturally why just about everyone on the train had joined them to see what was going on.

"All right, talk, Ditto," one of the guards, the Haunter from before, growled. "What exactly were you up to?"

"And what did you do with Moju?" his partner, the Grumpig, asked.

"Moju? Which one was he again? Oh, _that's_ right, he was the Tangrowth, wasn't he?" Brodie belched. "He was delicious."

"Why you-" the Grumpig snarled, lunging forwards.

Bruno grabbed the porcine Pokémon's tail and pulled him back. "That's exactly what he wants. Don't give him the satisfaction of seeing you riled up." Grumbling, the Grumpig subsided. "Now, Brodie, we can do this the easy way or the hard way," the Machamp said, cracking his many knuckles. "Either you give us the information we want, or we'll pound it out of you."

"And what information would that be, exactly?" Brodie asked.

"You know what it is," George said. "How exactly you were planning to assassinate Her Grace and her guests, and what else your employer has in mind."

Brodie smirked. "And what makes you think I'm gonna tell you any of that?"

"Because if you do not," Butler said ominously. "We can make things very…unpleasant."

"Ooh, this is so exciting," Silvia whispered loudly to her husband. "This is just like one of those police procedural shows or mysteries we like to watch!"

Goldor frowned. "Except the last one I remember that took place on a train revealed that everyone was the murderer…which didn't really make a lot of sense, come to think about it…"

"I never really enjoyed those shows. It seems perfectly obvious right from the start who the criminal is, and once the suspense is gone, it loses a lot of its appeal," Briney complained.

"Well, that's 'cuz you're really smart! Of course you'd figure it out right away," Buck said.

Briney beamed, surprised and flattered. "Why thank you, young Buck."

Brodie snorted. "Unpleasant, huh? You can't possibly threaten me with anything that's worse than what Bellum would do to me if I Rattataed her out."

"Oh really? Because I can think of a few things…" George said.

Brodie smirked. "I can guarantee it's not even _near_ as bad as what _she_ would do."

"Then enlighten us. What exactly _would_ she do to you?" Looker asked.

Brodie told them. They stared at him for a long, long time. Zippo, Dean, Goldor, Todd, Tiny, and Cruise threw up. Max took notes. Fantina sighed, looking more weary than horrified. "Yes, zat sounds exactly like her…"

"Yes," Lily agreed. "Er, based on what I've heard about her, that is."

Bruno sighed and scratched the back of his head uncertainly. "Okay, I got nothing."

"Yeah…I don't think there's anything we could do that's worse than that," a rather pale and alarmed George said.

"Nothing bad enough to make him confess, anyway…" Palmer agreed. "I suppose that rules out torture. Not that I'm an expert in it or anything." Dawn snapped her fingers in disappointment.

"Zen perhaps we should try anozzer tack…using anozzer kind of incentive ozzer zan fear?" Fantina suggested, drifting over. "Brodie, you suffer from a rare genetic deficiency affecting your shapeshifting abilities, _oui? _You mentioned it back at ze Convocum."

Brodie frowned. "Yeah? What about it?"

"What if I told you I could 'elp you cure it?" Fantina offered.

Brodie considered this for a moment. "Hmm. If it were anyone else, I'd think you were lying to get my hopes up, but since it's you…" He scratched his chin. "The offer's tempting, sure enough, but to be honest, I'm afraid of Bellum more than I desire to get cured. And besides, I've kind of grown used to the taste of Pokémon flesh, anyway."

Everyone made faces except for Sasha, who wistfully said, "Yes, it's a hard habit to get over…er, or so I've heard," she said quickly when everyone stared at her.

"We could offer you protection from Bellum, if zat is what you're afraid of," Fantina offered.

"Considering what Bellum's got planned next for you, I don't really have much confidence in that protection right now," Brodie said. "_You_ may have a better track record concerning her, but the people around you? Not so much. Besides, given what she has in mind for you, at the moment I think I'd be better off placing my bets on Bellum. She'll be furious at me for failing, but she'd be even _more_ furious if I not only squealed but switched sides, so no go."

Fantina frowned. "Is what she schemes truly zat 'orrible?"

Brodie grinned cruelly. "Oh yeah…and I'm never gonna tell you what it is!"

"Well, so much for diplomacy," Bow commented as a disappointed Fantina floated back.

"No offense, Your Grace, but I never really thought he'd go for it, anyway," Diane said.

"Neizzer did I," Fantina admitted. "But still, I 'oped…" She sighed. "Oh well, I guess we will 'ave to try more…forceful measures."

Brodie scoffed. "I already told you, I'm not gonna talk. You can't do anything to me that's worse than what Bellum is capable of!"

"Maybe not, but we 'ave ozzer ways of making you talk," Fantina said, nodding to Bow.

The Drifloon wiggled her tendrils, a gentle breeze filling the room and swirling around Brodie. "Zere. I 'ave cast a truzh spell on you," she said.

"Uh, what good's a truce spell in these circumstances?" Sam asked.

"Not a truzh spell, a _truzh_ spell," Bow enunciated.

"…What's the difference?" asked a confused Max. Bow facepalmed.

"She meant she cast a truth spell, not a truce spell," Lily interpreted.

"Obviously," Leo muttered with a roll of his eyes.

"A truth spell? And that's supposed to do…what, exactly?" Brodie asked.

"Make you tell ze truzh, of course," Fantina said.

Brodie smirked. "Oh, will it now?"

"Yes," Fantina said. "So…tell us 'ow you planned to kill me, and what Bellum is up to!"

"No," Brodie said.

There was an awkward pause. "…What do you mean, 'no?'" Fantina asked in confusion.

"I said no, I'm not going to tell you," Brodie said.

"What? But…I cast a truzh spell! Zat means you are supposed to tell us!" Bow protested.

"No, you cast a truth spell, which means I can't _lie._ You never said anything about me having to say anything I didn't want to," Brodie said.

They stared at him incredulously. "…That's brilliant," said Goldor. "Simply brilliant. I must remember that, in case I am ever questioned under one, which of course I never will be." Silvia gave him a puzzled look.

"Mon, I can't believe he thought of something like that before I did!" Leo complained.

"Incredible…I don't think that's occurred to anyone before," admitted the disturbed Butler.

"It seems rather obvious in retrospect, though…I wonder why nobody's ever thought of it sooner?" Diane wondered.

"This is why I prefer sodium pentothal, it's much more reliable," Looker said.

"So's breaking knees," Max said fondly.

"Yes, but the blood is harder to get out of the carpet," Sam said. "Vodka works wonders at loosening people's lips, in my experience."

"And at starting wars," Max agreed.

"Well, since that was a bust, let's see if something a bit more forceful won't work," Vladimir said, swishing his cloak and slithering forwards. Eyes glowing, he tried to force his will upon Brodie with the power of vampiric persuasion. "Tell us what we want to know!"

"No," Brodie said.

"Tell us what we want to know!" Vladimir repeated.

"No," Brodie said.

"TELL US WHAT WE WANT TO KNOW!" Vladimir shouted.

"No," Brodie said.

"…Why not?" Vladimir asked, disgruntled.

"I don't want to," Brodie said.

"Oh," Vladimir grunted.

Pikachu sighed. "Well, there goes the myth of vampiric mind control."

"Aw, mon!" Leo and Zippo whined at the same time. They looked at each other in surprise.

"I dunno, for a minute there I was actually feeling a little compelled to spill my guts about certain…things that are better off remaining a secret," Ash murmured, glad that Vladimir had been questioning Brodie rather than him. From the uncomfortable looks on the faces of most of the other Pokémon in the car, it was clear he wasn't the only one who'd felt that way.

"Well, maybe you'll feel more inclined to talk after I drink your blood and make you my thrall!" Vladimir hissed, fangs extending.

"I don't have blood," Brodie said.

Vladimir paused. "What if you turned into a Pokémon that did?"

"I still wouldn't have any, it'd just be this pink stuff all the way through," Brodie said. "And trust me, you wouldn't want to try eating it."

"Yeah, it tastes pretty bad," Leo said. Sasha nodded her head in agreement. Everyone stared at them incredulously. Leo flushed. "Er…that's what I've heard, anyway…"

"Um, yes, what he—I mean, _she_ said," Sasha said quickly.

"What if we turned him into a Dark-type? Then we could read his mind," Dean suggested.

"Wait, what?" George asked in alarm. "You can _do_ that?"

"That won't work, the wards on the train prevent any form of mind-reading, Psychic or otherwise," Bruno said. George sighed in relief.

"Well, what if we…relaxed them on this occasion? Just so we can pry into that bloke's head," Briney suggested hopefully.

The Grumpig shook his head. "I'm not sure that'd work…I know from experience that Ditto brains are very difficult to read, even when they're not in their true form. They're constantly shifting and fluid, much like the rest of their body. We'd be more likely to read each other's mind than his if we deactivated the wards."

"Which would probably not be a good idea, given the…more private thoughts we wouldn't exactly like to be shared with the rest of the world," Palmer commented. The other passengers nodded fervently, including Team Aurabolt. Briney sulked in disappointment.

"Well, we could force him to change then force him to talk, we can control Dark-types as well," Vladimir suggested.

"You can…why the Abyss didn't anyone tell me that?" George cried in disbelief.

"Ze binding spell keeps 'im trapped in one form. To change it to force him to become a Dark-type would require us to disassemble ze whole zing and start over, giving him a chance to escape," Fantina said.

"We'll keep him occupied, there's no way he can slip out with all of us here," Bruno said.

"It would also take seven 'ours to make ze new spell," Bow added.

"Oh," Bruno said.

"Well, we have time, I suppose, but I'd rather do it some other way if possible," Sparky said.

"Yeah, since _Delight's _going to be on soon," Zippo said.

Goldor gasped. "Goodness, I'd almost forgotten! We can't miss that! Come on, let's finish up this interrogation so I can go watch it!" Everyone sweatdropped.

"Another way…Brodie, I don't suppose you'd be interested in a bribe, now would you?" Silvia asked, getting an idea.

"How much are we talking here?" Brodie asked.

"What? No! Absolutely not! We are not giving this ruffian any of our money!" Goldor protested, spluttering furiously.

"But dear, if it gets us some answers-" Silvia started.

"No! I will not have it said that I give money to criminals!" Goldor insisted. "He's not getting a single Poké from me, and that's final!" Silvia sighed in exasperation.

Fantina rolled her eyes. "Well, I suppose _I_ could offer a sum, zen…"

"Lady, it'd take a _lot_ of money to overwhelm my fear of Bellum," Brodie said.

"Zen it's a good zing I 'ave a lot of money, isn't it?" Fantina said. "'ow much do you want?"

Brodie named an astronomically high sum. Everyone gasped, and Fantina blinked. "…Okay, zat's a bit more zan I 'ad in mind."

"I'm not sure even _we_ 'ave zat much money…" Bow murmured in disbelief.

"Like I said, it's gonna take a _lot_ of money to overwhelm my fear of Bellum," Brodie said. "So unless you can match that, I ain't talking."

"Perhaps you would feel more willing to talk if you were Hypnotized?" Rebecca threatened, raising her pendulum.

"Oh boy, Hypnosis. I'll be able to tell you so much in my sleep," Brodie said sarcastically. "Lady, do you _really_ want to hear the sorts of things I dream about? Most of them involve me eating people."

"So do mine," Sasha commented. Everyone stared at her. "Er…sometimes. When I'm really hungry. It's not a regular thing," she lied.

"It is for me," Max said cheerfully. Everyone but Sam stared at him and took a few steps away.

"Nothing else has worked so far, so if Hypnosis is necessary, than that is what I am willing to do," Rebecca said.

"It won't work," Cherry said.

Rebecca paused. "It won't? Why not?"

"Because I haven't seen it working," Cherry said.

"Why?" Rebecca asked.

Cherry shrugged. "I don't know, I just haven't seen you doing it, which means you shouldn't."

"…But how do you know it won't work if I don't try?" Rebecca asked in confusion.

"Because if you _do_ do it, then the future will change, and I'll get a huge migraine, and I've already told you about how I try to avoid those," Cherry said. Everyone facefaulted.

"Oh for crying out loud…this farce has gone on long enough. Max, I think it's time we took matters into our own hands," Sam said, losing his patience. Ash, Pikachu, Sasha, and Tiny exchanged looks of horror, while Leo and Zippo perked up, looking absolutely delighted.

"Oh boy! Want me to go get the crowbar?" Max asked eagerly.

"No, I have something more effective in mind. Here, hold this," Sam said, handing Max his hat and marching over to the edge of the binding circle.

"…This is going to be incredibly stupid, isn't it?" Pikachu groaned.

_Probably,_ Dawn said sympathetically.

"Yep," Looker sighed.

"Without a shadow of a doubt," Cherry said.

"Whoa nelly, this is gonna be so cool!" Leo said giddily.

"Yeah, totally!" Zippo agreed. "Wow, I didn't even know the Sisterhood of the Bountiful Gracidea knew about totally awesome guys like Sam and Max!"

Leo laughed. "Honey, just because I'm a nun doesn't mean I can't be hip or in the know!"

"Word, Mother!" Zippo said, high-clawing Leo.

Pikachu and Sparky's faces turned ashen. "Oh no…there's _two_ of them…" they said at the same time. They blinked and looked at each other in surprise.

Sam narrowed his eyes and snarled, and suddenly it was as if he was a completely different canine. "Tell me what you know, slimeball!" he barked at Brodie.

"No," Brodie said.

"You lie!" Sam roared.

"Uh, no I'm not, I'm under a truth spell, remember?" Brodie pointed out.

"Oh, right," Sam said. Everyone sweatdropped. "Tell me more!"

"I dunno, I'm not really an expert in truth spells, I just know that Lady Bow over there cast it on me," Brodie said.

"Zat's right, I did," Bow said.

"That isn't what…" Looking flustered, Sam opted to whip out his gun and point it in Brodie's face. "Talk, slimeball, or I'll give you a mouthful of lead!"

"No," Brodie said.

Sam fired. Brodie's upper half exploded, pink slime splattering all over the circle…then wriggling and slithering back together, reconstituting back into a full Ditto, with an annoyed look on his face. "Ow. That stung. What was the point of that, exactly? I'm immortal, you know, weapons like that aren't really going to do much to me."

"Immortal, huh? Let me give you a tip, buddy. All of us think we're immortal at one point or another. In the bloom of our youth, it seems like we're invincible, that nothing can stop us, that we can take on the whole world, that the sky's the limit…but then as we grow older, we realize that none of our dreams came true. We didn't become President, we didn't date the homecoming queen, we didn't become rich and famous. And we notice that our eyesight's not as good as it used to be, that our hair is graying and thinning, that we can no longer run as far or as fast as you could before. And we realize that time is running out. From the moment we leave the womb, the clock is ticking down to our inevitable demise. We're all born with one foot in the grave. None of us is immortal. Sooner or later, all of us have to pay the piper," Sam rambled.

There was a long pause. Everyone stared at Sam in confusion and dismay. "…Well, that was depressing," Ash said as he tried to comfort a sobbing Tiny.

"Daddy, I don't wanna die!" Cruise wailed.

"Don't worry, buddy, it won't happen for a long, long time," Ritchie assured him, hugging the distraught Pupitar.

"Unless we get killed by Judgment," Lu said.

"Lu!" Sparky hissed as Cruise started crying louder.

"What? It's a very good possibility," the assassin pointed out.

"Mon, and people wonder why I want to live forever…" Zippo complained.

"Oh, you too? Neat!" Leo said.

"Wow, we have so much in common!" said the amazed Zippo.

"I know, isn't it awesome?" Leo agreed. Their friends exchanged looks of horror.

"Well, that was about as stupid as I thought it would be…" Pikachu grumbled.

"It's a good thing we're already rich and famous then, isn't it dear?" Goldor asked Silvia.

"Yes, I suppose," the Claydol said, though she still looked somewhat discomfited by Sam's creepy speech.

"Mom, does that mean I can't be an astronaut?" Buck asked.

"Of course you can, dear, we'll buy you a place on a rocket if that's what it takes," Silvia said.

"Cool!" Buck said.

"I already know the day I'm going to die," Cherry said sadly. "Inevitable in my line of work."

"Is it soon?" Rebecca asked in concern.

"I'd rather not say," Cherry said.

"Eh, nothing I didn't know already," Briney muttered. Dawn, Palmer, Butler, Looker, Bruno and Sasha nodded in agreement.

"Oh mon…when I'm gone, is anyone going to remember me? Will anyone look at my pictures and think of me?" Todd wondered, looking worried. "Will anybody remember my name?"

"Well, it's a good thing we don't have to worry about getting old, eh Dean?" Vladimir asked.

"Yes, we just have to worry about sunlight or silver," the Wooper muttered.

"I'm already dead. Was _born_ dead, actually," Lily said. "So…where does that put me?"

"Right beside me, sugah," Leo said, causing her to smile.

"Sam…do you really believe that?" George wondered, looking alarmed.

"Nah, he just said it to sound deep," Max said.

George sweatdropped. "Oh."

"The fuck are you talking about?" Brodie asked in confusion. "I _am _immortal. As a Ditto, I can live indefinitely and am almost impossible to kill."

"That's right, he is," Looker said.

Sam blinked. "…Well, why didn't someone _tell_ me that in the first place?" They all groaned.

Fantina cleared her throat. "Well. Um, zank you very much, Sam, but I zink we can-"

"Hold on, miss, we aren't done yet," Sam said.

Max nodded. "Yeah, we're just getting started!"

Pikachu groaned. "There's _more?_"

"Yep!" Max said.

"Oh boy, oh boy!" Leo said eagerly.

"Is this what I think it is? I hope so!" Zippo squealed.

"Yeah, me too!" Leo agreed. Both Pikachu and Sparky's eyes twitched.

"You see, that was Plan A," Sam said, taking his hat back from Max and putting it on. "And since that didn't work…it's time for Plan B!"

"And that would be?" Brodie asked, unimpressed.

"The 'Yo Mama' jokes!" Sam said triumphantly.

Everyone stared at him. "What," Brodie said flatly while Pikachu and Sparky banged their heads against the wall.

"The 'Yo Mama' jokes!" Sam repeated.

"Yay!" Max cheered.

"Oh, Arceus…" Bruno moaned, facepalming.

"Mama, what-" Bow started.

"I don't zink we really want to know," Fantina said with a grimace.

"No, you certainly don't," Butler groaned.

"Oh, sweet! This is gonna be so awesome!" Zippo said giddily.

"I'd always dreamed of this day…and now that it's here at last, it's even more beautiful than I imagined! Oh, thank you Shaymin! Thank you ever so much for making a poor sister's dreams come true!" Leo cried, clutching his rosary religiously.

_This is so going to suck,_ Dawn thought.

"What is a 'Yo Mama' joke?" Lily asked.

"Nothing good, mum," Briney said.

This was proven to be the case moments later, when Sam and Max began telling them. "Yo Mama's so fat…" Sam said.

"She has more folds than an origami accordion!" Max said.

"Well, that's true…" Brodie admitted. "She is kinda fat, even for a blob of slime…"

"I say, that's rather rude, isn't it?" Silvia sniffed.

"That seems to be the idea, mum," Briney said.

"Yo Mama's so perky…" Sam said.

"The only time she's low is at a limbo contest!" Max said.

"…I don't get it," said a confused Cruise.

"Neither do I, buddy, neither do I," Ritchie said.

George sweatdropped. "Well, this is an…interesting method of interrogation…"

"Yo Mama's so thrifty…" Sam said.

"She brings coupons to the penny arcade!" Max said.

"Ah, sounds like a womon after my own heart," Goldor said. Silvia glared at him.

"Yo Mama's so vulgar…" Sam said.

"Her mouth would make a longshoreman blush!" Max said.

"A what now?" Brodie asked.

"Bah, I can be far more vulgar than that," Salty bragged. Briney frowned, certain he could be even more vulgar if he chose. What did a jelly-limbed Tentacool know about insults?

"Please don't demonstrate it," Happy begged him. "There are children present!"

"Oh, all right…" Salty grumbled reluctantly.

"Yo Mama's so punctual…" Sam said.

"She showed up early for her own funeral!" Max said.

"…But she never had a funeral. She's still alive," Brodie said. "Immortal, remember?"

"Precisely! Hence why she showed up early," Max said. Brodie stared blankly.

"Yeah, that one kind of fell flat…" Ritchie said.

"That's blasphemy, boy! It was awesome!" Leo said fervently.

"Word!" Zippo agreed. Lily sweatdropped.

Pikachu and Sparky continued banging their heads against the wall. _Master, please stop,_ Dawn said in concern.

"Can't. I'm hoping if I hit my head hard enough, I'll either pass out or wake up and find this was all a dream," Pikachu said through gritted teeth.

"Same here," Sparky grunted.

"Well, so long as you don't give yourself permanent brain damage, knock yourself out," Lu said.

"That's the idea," Sparky said.

"This is just as bad as you implied…" Rebecca murmured.

"I told you it would be," Cherry said.

"Yo Mama's so radiant…" Sam said.

"If she fell in nuclear waste, no one would notice!" Max said.

"Is zat an insult or a compliment?" asked the confused Fantina.

"I'm not sure…I zink you are very radiant, Mama," Bow said.

"Why zank you, Bow!" Fantina said, touched.

"Am _I_ radiant, Goldor?" Silvia asked.

"Hmm? Oh, er, yes, of course," Goldor said.

"Yo mama's so-" Sam started.

"Argh! All right, all right, I give! Make it stop! I'll tell you everything!" Brodie yelled.

"Aha! I knew it was only a matter of time before you cracked!" Sam said triumphantly. "And a good thing too, because I was almost out of jokes, and if _that_ happened, we'd have to resort to Plan C…provocative dancing, with my shirt off!" Nearly everyone in the room shuddered. George, on the other hand, looked intrigued.

Max nodded. "It just goes to show you, even bad guys love their mommas!"

"What? No, I hate my mother!" Brodie said. "She always liked cousin Duplica more, just like everyone else…"

"Then why are you giving in?" Looker asked.

"Because those jokes are _terrible_! I can't stand hearing another one of them!" Brodie shouted. Everyone facefaulted.

"Well, that's just rude!" Sam said, offended. "Look, you've hurt Max's feelings!"

"Yeah, I don't know how I'll ever recover," Max said, looking the same as ever.

"So you're finally willing to talk?" Bruno asked.

"Yes, just don't let those two anywhere near me again!" Brodie said.

"I think most of us can sympathize," Palmer said.

_Master, are you all right?_ Dawn asked Pikachu, who looked rather dazed from his repeated head trauma, in concern.

"Sorry Pichu, can't talk right now, I'm shaving a Primeape," Pikachu said deliriously.

"Oho, I know what _that's_ a euphemism for!" Todd said with a grin.

"What?" Diane asked.

Todd hesitated. "…I'm not sure, actually."

"Me love you very long time!" a cross-eyed Sparky said to Lu.

"Why thank you, dear! That's very sweet of you," Lu said. The rest of the team sweatdropped.

"All right, so talk," the Haunter said. "We already know you disguised yourself as one of the staff by eating poor Moju, but how were you going to kill Her Grace and the others?"

"With poison, of course," Brodie said.

"But there wasn't any poison in the wine or the glasses," Butler said, puzzled. "We checked!" He frowned. "Or did we miss it somehow?"

"No, there wasn't any poison in the wine," Brodie said. "Before dinner, I poured a chemical into the ventilation for the dining car that would affect the air in the room."

"Wait, you poisoned the air? Then…all of us breathed in the dining car, those of us with breath, anyway! Are we all going to die?" Rose cried in alarm.

"No, the filtration spells in the vents would have kept it out if it were that dangerous," the Grumpig said.

"Which is why the chemical was harmless…on its own," Brodie said. "Simply breathing it in wouldn't have done anything. However, once exposed to the air, it would have catalyzed a reaction in the wine I provided for you, making it lethal to drink as soon as it encountered the enzymes in your digestive tracts. Not even Ghosts or vampires would have been immune. And the best part is, it's a slow-acting poison, so you wouldn't realize you were dying until it was too late, giving me the time I needed to make my escape before anyone discovered me. It would only work while in the dining room, however, since the wine would go back to normal once exposed to the regular air in the rest of the train. That's why I got upset when you wanted to have the drinks back in your room, because I knew if you had them there, the plan would be ruined!"

"_Mon dieu…_what a cunning plan!" said the shocked Bow.

"_Oui,_ just ze sort of zing I would expect from Bellum!" Fantina agreed.

"And since we didn't think to check the wine _after_ it was in the glass, we would have contributed to your deaths by failing to take all the right precautions…" the horrified Diane whispered.

"Mistress, we have failed you. Please forgive us," Butler said shamefully.

"Of course I do," Fantina said graciously. "You are two of my most faizful and loyal servants, how could I not? And besides, it doesn't matter zat you missed it…zanks to zat terrorist's surprising interruption, ze poison never reached our lips."

"Heh, who'd have thought someone from Judgment would actually be helpful for a change?" Ritchie joked.

"It'll probably be the last time, sadly," Salty said.

"A pretty clever plan, really," Leo commented. When everyone stared at him he said, "Uh, but completely wrong, especially since it almost killed me! For shame, Brodie! I hope you get stuck with the really yucky weeds and thorns when you wind up in the Eternal Meadow!"

"The where now?" Brodie asked in confusion. "Oh, whatever. Yeah, it was a good plan…And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for that meddling terrorist, and that Absol…whatever her name is…" He frowned. "Come to think of it, have we met before? You look kinda…familiar…" Sasha fidgeted uneasily.

"What else is that dastardly Bellum up to?" Dean asked loudly, before Brodie could realize that Sasha wasn't the only Pokémon in the room that seemed oddly familiar. "Because you certainly can't have been her only plan to get rid of us!"

"Huh? Oh, right…yeah, she has a back-up plan," Brodie said.

"Out with it, then, or we'll have these two tell more 'Yo Mama' jokes," Bruno threatened.

"All right, all right, jeez, I was getting to it! No need to do something we'll all regret later…" Brodie said anxiously.

Sam frowned. "Our jokes weren't _that_ bad, were they?"

"Yes," everyone else said flatly.

"So, what is ze plan?" Fantina asked.

"Well, don't tell her I told you this, but…she's got an ambush planned in the town of Dusty Ditch, which this train should be passing through at about midday tomorrow," Brodie said.

"Dusty Ditch, huh? Can we detour?" Bruno asked the Haunter.

He shook his head. "I'm afraid not. The route through Dusty Ditch's the only way to get to Fichina. If we tried to switch tracks, we'd never get there."

"Then let's stop somewhere else and arrange for alternative transportation," Rebecca suggested. "Surely that will get us out of harm's way!"

"Nope," Cherry said.

"Afraid not," Brodie agreed, not looking afraid at all. "Bellum's already sabotaged the junctions branching off from this track. You have no choice but to keep going forward…to your doom!"

"Well, that's rather inconvenient," Briney said.

Lu sighed. "There goes that idea…"

"If it weren't for the fact that she would brutally kill me, I'd have half a mind to sue that witch," Goldor grumbled.

"What sort of ambush does Bellum have planned for us?" George asked.

"Knowing Moth…er, her, it's probably something terrible," Lily said.

"I don't really know much of the details myself, but she's going to cast something called 'Fimbulvinter,'" Brodie reported.

While the word went over everyone else's heads, Lily gasped in horror, recognizing the spell. "Oh no! Not Fimbulvinter!"

Everyone glanced at her. "You've heard of it?" Todd asked.

Lily started, realizing she'd drawn too much attention to herself. "Er, yes…I…read about it somewhere…in an apocryphal text…" she said vaguely.

"What does it do?" Ash asked, not needing to feign his cluelessness.

"Well, how many of you have heard of Niflheim?" Lily asked.

Most of them hadn't. "Zat is ze elemental plane of ice and snow, isn't it?" Bow recalled.

Fantina shuddered. "And home to trolls and frost giants and ozzer creatures of ze dark and cold. Not a pleasant place, take it from me."

"Well, you know how there are spells that can open portals to other planes, or transport people to them?" Lily asked. "Fimbulvinter is basically the inverse of that."

"What, you mean a summoning spell?" Rose asked.

"Far more than just a summoning spell," Lily said ominously. "Regular summons call forth a creature from another realm. But Fimbulvinter…it summons the realm _itself_, interposing a large chunk of Niflheim over a place in our world and turning that place into a part of Niflheim."

The mages looked alarmed. "What? But…but that's impossible, isn't it?" Rebecca protested.

"Yeah, doesn't that go against some rule of magic or whatever?" Buck asked.

"Well, any rule can be bent or broken if you have enough power," Palmer said.

"Or money," Goldor said knowingly.

"Which is somezing Bellum certainly has a lot of…" Fantina murmured. "Power, I mean, zhough she's very rich too. But Nifl'eim…to bring a piece of it 'ere is inconceivable! It's anozzer dimension, and isn't supposed to be in ours! To anchor even a small portion of it 'ere she'd need…" She stiffened. "Oh no…"

Lily nodded. "That's right…the reason Bellum's casting the spell in Dusty Ditch is because she needs the sacrifice of at least a couple hundred Pokémon to generate enough power to bring Niflheim here. She's killed everyone in that town just to prepare a trap for us."

Everyone was stunned and disgusted by this revelation. "That's awful," said a shocked George.

"…Dude. That's sick!" said an appalled Zippo.

"Not even my mother is that evil!" said an astonished Rose. Ash found himself relieved to hear this, he wasn't sure if the world could survive having _two_ witches as evil as Bellum about.

"Damn her…" a somewhat recovered Pikachu hissed.

"All those poor people…and they didn't even do anything to her!" Silvia whispered. "They were simply a means to an end!"

"Geez…" Todd murmured.

Vladimir sighed. "Exactly the sort of thing I would expect from her…"

"Hey Sam, does this mean we get to go skiing?" Max asked.

Sam gave him a disgusted look. "Little buddy, I don't think now's the time for that."

"And I suppose you knew this was going to happen?" Rebecca demanded of Cherry.

"Yes," Cherry said sadly.

"And why didn't you tell us, so we could have done something about it?" the Hypno demanded. "And don't give me that migraine excuse, a few hundred lives are more important than that!"

"What could we have possibly done? I didn't even foresee it until it was too late," the Girafarig said. "And Bellum is one of the strongest witches in the world, with some _very_ powerful allies. Almost any safeguard that could have been put in place against her would have failed, and then even _more_ people would have died."

"And as a result, now we're riding straight into an icy trap…" Bruno murmured. "And there's really nothing we can do about it?"

"There are no other stops between here and Dusty Ditch, or…what must be left of it by now," the Grumpig reported.

"We could stop the train here and get out, but…then what?" the Haunter said. "We're in the middle of nowhere!"

"So? We'll just Teleport somewhere, or arrange for another form of transportation," Goldor decided. "There's no reason for us to go straight into this madwomon's trap, now that we know she's set one for us!"

"Yes, zere is," Fantina said coldly.

Everyone looked at her. "What do you mean, Mama?" Bow asked.

"Bellum murdered all zose people to kill us and our guests. All zose deazzs are because of us," Fantina said angrily, embers formed by her rage starting to flicker around her. "Zis…zis is unforgivable. We cannot let ze deazzs of zose innocent people go unpunished. You all may disembark if you choose, because zis 'as nozzing to do wiz you. But I…I will go to Dusty Ditch, and I will make Bellum pay for what she has done!"

"But-but Mistress, you cannot-" Butler started.

"I am ze Duchess of Fichina, and may do whatever I choose!" Fantina snapped. "Bellum 'as zhrown down ze gauntlet. It would be cowardice to turn away, and to ignore ze cries for justice from zose whom she 'as callously slain. I will fight 'er and make 'er pay for 'er crimes, even if I must do it all by myself!"

"…You won't be by yourself," Bow said abruptly. "I will go wiz you, Mama!"

Fantina blinked in surprise. "What? But Bow, you-"

"Bellum will probably 'ave her daughter Marianne zere. It would be unfair for you to 'ave to fight _bozz_ of zem on your own, would it not?" Bow said with a smirk. "And besides, I 'ave a score or two of my own to settle wiz zat Rotom…I still need to make her pay for zat time she ruined my one-'undred and fourzh birzday!"

"We shall accompany you as well," Vladimir said. "It is because of us that Bellum has gone to such extremes, so the deaths of those innocents is on our consciences as well. And besides, we owe her a thing or two for what we endured while in her clutches."

"Actually, I wouldn't mind getting off-" Dean started.

"We shall _both_ accompany you," Vladimir said loudly, glaring at Dean, who sighed and nodded. Bob marked territory in a corner and said nothing, but it could be assumed he was coming too.

Butler sighed. "It is our duty to protect you, Mistress. If you wish to embark on this dangerous endeavor despite our recommendations-"

"As usual," Diane grumbled.

"Then we would be remiss if we did not come along to make sure nothing untoward happens," Butler finished.

"I _could_ dismiss you, you know," Fantina pointed out.

"We would pretend you didn't," Butler said.

"It wouldn't be the first time," Diane agreed. Fantina smiled at them gratefully.

"That bitch tried to kill me and Lilandra too! She's got a reckoning comin' her way!" Leo said, shaking a fist. "I'ma gonna bring down the sweet-scented wrath of Shaymin on her head!"

"Um, yes. Shaymin's flowers may have little power in Bellum's icy domain, but…um…we are grateful to you for your generosity and hospitality, and the…strength of that gratitude shall protect us," Lily said uncertainly. There was no doubt in her mind that she was going, she just needed a believable excuse that everyone else would buy.

"An injustice such as this demands retribution. My sword is yours, Duchess. We shall fight alongside you," Pikachu announced. "It is the honorable thing to do." Sasha and Dawn nodded.

"I agree. I may not have a stake in this, and frozen terrain isn't really my cup of tea, but…I believe I shall come as well, to see how this all turns out," Palmer announced. Dawn smiled gratefully behind her fan.

"The Chosen One and I travel to Fichina to save the world. Bellum is one of those who would destroy the world. Therefore, we cannot turn our backs on the threat she poses. If you will oppose her, then we will aid you in fighting her," Ash declared. Tiny nodded in agreement.

"Heck, then I guess I have to come too…we Aura Guardians have to stick together, right?" Ritchie said. "And besides, what she did's got my blood boiling too. She may even be worse than Judgment! We can't let someone like her go around doing whatever we pleases!"

Sparky nodded in agreement. "My honor dictates I cannot allow any evil I am aware of go unpunished, or let any lady enter battle unescorted. My sword is yours as well, Duchess."

"I guess I'll come too, for the excuse to snowboard if nothing else! I wonder if it's that much different from surfing…" Zippo wondered.

"If he's going, then so am I…somebody needs to patch him up whenever he gets himself in trouble," Rose said, pecking Zippo on the head affectionately. He laughed and waved her off.

"I don't like winter or cold very much, but if my friends are going into it, how can I stay behind?" Happy asked.

"Wherever Daddy goes, I go!" Cruise said firmly. Tiny nodded to himself, commiserating with his sentiment.

"I'm coming too…I'm always happy for a chance to bust some heads!" Salty said. Briney narrowed his eye, feeling like the Tentacool was stealing his lines.

"Well, I can't be the only odd mon out, so…guess I'm part of this as well," Lu said with a shrug.

"Can we go Sam? Can we? Can we huh?" Max begged.

"Well, it's not really our fight, Max, but…I suppose we might as well. Can't think of a good reason not to," Sam said.

"Yay!" Max cheered.

"This isn't really my beat, but I suppose it's worth looking into…I _am_ a law enforcement officer, after all," Looker said, giving in. "I can't just ignore a transgression like this."

"Silvia, you take Buck and get to safety. I'll join them in battle," Goldor said, surprising his wife.

"What! Goldor, what are you talking about?" Silvia asked in disbelief.

"Let no mon say that I ran and hid while others stayed to fight! I know there are those who say that money is all I care about in this world, but that couldn't be further from the truth. Bellum's foul deeds have touched me as much as everyone else here, and I am as determined as they to bring her to justice for it. I am no coward, and I will take on the evilest witch in the world if that's what it takes to prove it!" Goldor declared.

"Then…then I will stay too," Silvia announced, sounding amazed. "How could I possibly leave my husband and fail to witness one of the most selfless and heroic things he's ever done?"

"Then you mean-" Goldor started.

Silvia nodded. "Yes, Goldor. We will stay and fight together…as a family."

"Um, actually, if it's all the same to you guys, I'd be happier getting off-" Buck started.

"Nobody asked you, dear," Silvia said. Buck sighed.

"Then I guess you can count me in too, chaps," Briney said.

"What? But Professor, you can't!" Silvia protested.

"Yes, you are an academic; this is no place for you!" Goldor agreed.

"Far from it, guv! I used to partake in some good ol' fisticuffs all the time back in the day!" Briney said, punching at the air. "I'm a little out of practice, true, but I'm far from rusty!"

"Considering how polished your body is, I should say not," Silvia agreed.

"Besides, all my life I've studied history and read about some of the greatest magical battles in the world…how could I possibly miss a chance to take part in one? To _be_ a part of history? I'm not going to skip out on something like this!" Briney announced.

"Stay behind and miss out on the scoop of a lifetime? No way! I'm definitely going to be there! Besides, you'll need someone to take the pictures to prove that all the cool things you'll do when you get there really happened!" Todd said eagerly, thoughts of winning the Howitzer prize for photography dancing through his head.

"I foresee both of us being there, so that settles that," Cherry said to Rebecca.

"I could just get off, you know. The future isn't set in stone," the Hypno pointed out.

"Yes, but you won't," Cherry said.

"But I could," Rebecca persisted.

"But you won't," Cherry said.

"But I _could_," Rebecca insisted.

"But you _won't_," Cherry repeated.

Rebecca sighed, giving in. "I guess I won't…"

"Well, if everyone else is going, then so am I," Bruno decided. "I was hired to protect the passengers on this train, and if all the passengers are going to a fight, then my contract requires me to be there to help you out. And besides, my immunity to magic should come in handy."

"My contract says the same thing, so I'll be there too," George said. She glanced at Sam. "Besides, we still have that shooting contest to get to, right?"

"I'm certainly looking forward to it," Sam said, adjusting his hat.

"Me too!" Max said.

"You aren't invited," Sam said.

"What! Why not?" Max protested.

"Little buddy, you couldn't hit the broadside of a barn if you were standing only inches away from it," Sam said.

"Sam, never say 'broadside' again," Max said.

Fantina blinked, looking surprised and touched. "Zen…all of you will come?...Zank you. Zank you, from ze bottom of my 'eart. You 'ave no idea 'ow much zis means to me. I will be more zan 'appy to fight alongside brave Pokémon like yourselves."

"Think nothing of it, Your Grace," Sparky said. "We are more than happy to assist you, no matter what the consequences may be!" The others nodded, though a few hesitated when they considered what those 'consequences' might entail.

The Haunter sighed. "Well, I don't really recommend it, but if this is the course of action you all choose…then I guess we're going to Dusty Ditch. I'll inform the engineer of your decision."

"No need, I'm right here and heard the whole thing," said the engineer, an Ampharos wearing a striped hat, said.

Everyone stared at the engineer. "What are you doing here?" asked the confused Grumpig.

"Oh, I didn't want to miss out on the excitement, so I came down to watch," the engineer said.

"But…then who's driving the train?" asked the Gastly conductor.

"Nobody, it's on autopilot," the engineer said.

"…But we don't _have_ an autopilot," the Abra waiter said.

The Ampharos's eyes widened in horror. "…Ah, excuse me a moment." She frantically ran out of the room. Everyone sweatdropped.

"You guys are all nuts!" said an amazed Brodie. "You're still going right into her trap, even knowing exactly what she's got in store for you?"

"But of course," Fantina said. "How could we do anyzing less?"

"Especially after all ze trouble she went into to set it up," Bow commented. "It would almost be a pity not to see such craftsmonship first hand,_ oui?_" Mother and daughter laughed.

Brodie sweatdropped. "I, uh, don't suppose that now that I've told you what I know, you guys could just let me off? Because I reeaaaally am not looking forward to having to explain my failure to Bellum after she inevitably wipes the floor with you."

"No," everyone said.

Brodie sighed. "Yeah, that's what I figured…then can I at least have some hors d'oeuvres? I haven't eaten anything since Moju, and I'm starving!"

"Here you go," the Abra said, conjuring a plate and cautiously holding it just over the rim of the binding spell, so that half of it protruded into Brodie's prison.

"Thanks," the Ditto said, extending a pseudopod and grabbing one of the treats. He tossed it in his mouth and started chewing. "Mmm…wow, this is good stuff!"

"Only the best for our passengers," the Abra said.

"Naturally…may I have some more?" Brodie asked.

"Certainly," the Abra said. Brodie greedily grabbed more food from the tray and crammed it into his mouth, juices and crumbs rolling down his front only to be absorbed by the rest of his body.

"…Why are you feeding him? He ate Moju and tried to assassinate some of our passengers!" the incredulous Haunter asked.

"Yes, but it doesn't do to be rude," the waiter said. Everyone sweatdropped.

"Mmmm…yummy," Brodie said, rubbing his stomach and belching. "Ahhh…maybe this won't be so bad after all!"

…

Several hundred miles away, on a mountaintop overlooking a deceptively quiet and peaceful village in a desert valley with train tracks running through the middle of it…

Bellum's eyes flew open. "Brodie has failed me," she said in a low, cruel whisper. "He shall suffer dearly for this."

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but weren't you _hoping_ Brodie would fail?" Paul asked as he leaned against a nearby boulder, sharpening his claws against the rock. "Since you wanted the pleasure of killing Fantina for yourself?"

"I did, but I told Brodie I would not tolerate failure lightly, and he must understand that if he works for me, he must _always_ be aware of the consequences," Bellum said coldly.

Paul grinned and straightened up. "Then I'm guessing we're going ahead with the operation?"

Bellum nodded. "We were always going to, even if Brodie had succeeded…I've wanted to try this spell out for decades, and it would be a pity to let an opportunity such as this go to waste. Even if it did not have my most hated rival and individuals capable of exposing our greatest secrets to the world, I would still take any chance available to destroy that blasted train…ban _me_ for eternity, will they? Well, I'll show them what happens to those that incite the wrath of Bellum Yukihimi!" She laughed malevolently.

Paul sweatdropped. "Right…I take it we need the last villager, then?"

Bellum nodded. "Yes…we only require one more death to cast the spell, and that one should do nicely. Marianne!"

The Rotom appeared in a crack of lightning. "Bzzbzbzzzzzz?" she inquired.

"Go fetch our 'special friend', will you? I think she'll want to be a part of this," Bellum said.

"Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!" Marianne buzzed eagerly, turning into a lightning bolt and streaking off towards a nearby peak.

Bellum clapped her hands, and a pair of ice elementals strode up the slope towards them, dragging a beaten and bloody Trapinch between them. "P-please…d-don't hurt me…" the Ant Pit Pokémon sobbed. "You've destroyed my village…you've murdered all my friends and family…please…what more do you want?"

"Your death," Bellum said, conjuring an ice spear and hurling it at the Trapinch, piercing her chest so hard she was ripped from the grasp of her captors and nailed into the side of a boulder.

As she gasped in pain, blood oozing from her wound, Paul stepped forward and disemboweled her with a single swipe of his claws, causing her intestines to spill out on the ground. As he licked the blood and gore from his claws, a shadow passed over him. He glanced up to see their 'special friend' swoop by and alight atop the boulder he'd been leaning against earlier. "Ah, there you are," the Weavile said. "Feeling up to killing one more?"

"If it will make this miserable sweltering wasteland a more proper temperature? I'd be more than happy to," the newcomer said as Marianne danced around its head, grinning wickedly.

The Trapinch's jaws dropped, enough life and consciousness left in her to recognize the latest villain. "You? But…but you are…you are supposed to be one of the great protectors! Why…why are you helping these people?"

"Simple," Articuno said, a cruel smile on her beak. "Because it's fun." She spread her wings wide and flapped once, creating a burst of Sheer Cold that froze the Trapinch solid and covered the boulder in ice. The Freeze Pokémon's talons shot forward and shattered the Trapinch, causing icy chunks of her body to fly all over the place.

Bellum raised her arms, chanting a spell under her breath, and the bits of frozen Trapinch rose into the air and spun in a circle over her, a ball of white energy forming in the center. There was a rumble, and thick gray clouds swirled to life overhead, blotting out the stars and casting the desert in shadow. With a great cry, Bellum, thrust her hands upwards, and the ball of white energy shot into the sky, vanishing into the clouds. There was another rumble, and lights flashed in the clouds, and then…

Snow began falling. Thick, white, wet flakes of snow tumbled from the sky, slowly and gently at first but rapidly picking up in speed and volume, followed by freezing winds and chunks of hail the size of Marianne's head. Patches of ice began to form on the ground and rapidly spread outwards, growing to consume everything nearby. An aurora formed overhead, but unlike the beautiful northern lights, something seemed…_wrong_ with it. The colorful ribbon was twisted, and dark, and writhed like a bound thing in pain. As the blizzard began to grow stronger and colder, more and more of the desert landscape was covered in white, and soon it became impossible to distinguish it from your average arctic vista.

"Whoa…this is…impressive," Paul murmured in amazement, his breath coming out in a thick cloud before his face.

"Ahhhh, much better," Articuno said, preening herself as she exulted in the extreme drop in temperature, the area having gone down several dozen degrees since the spell had been cast and showing no signs of stopping anytime soon. "If only all the world could be like this!"

"It will be, if I have anything to say about it," Bellum said with a grin.

Paul frowned, noticing something odd through the sleeting snow and hail. "Hey…I don't think those mountains over there were here before…were they?" he asked, pointing to some snowy peaks towering over their own.

"And neither was that palace," Articuno commented, frowning at a magnificent structure made of ice crystals that looked like a giant snowflake perched on top of a nearby mountain, shimmering as an aurora circled it. She was pretty certain it hadn't been there just a minute ago. "Hmm, not bad. Looks like the sort of place Suicune would like to live in."

"But not you?" Paul asked.

Articuno shook her head. "Nah, I prefer simpler things…a nest is good enough for me. Well, a nest made of woven metal encrusted with jewels, with dozens of slaves to dote on my every whim, an endless supply of Turkish delights, lots of throw pillows, and some handsome hunks chained up in the back for me to do lots of dirty stuff with-"

"That's more than I really needed to hear," Paul said tersely.

"Bzbzzzbzbzzbz?" Marianne asked her mother.

"No, my child, the best is yet to come," Bellum said. "Open your eyes! Strain your ears! Look around you…listen…behold the wonders of Niflheim!"

They looked and listened. And they began to notice that they were not alone. Shadows drifted past them in the snow, shadows that flitted between snowflakes and hailstones, shadows which became more and more substantial with every second. Shadows that began to take on strange and somewhat troubling forms…lupine creatures like Mightyenas, but larger and colder with jaws that tore and eyes that incited terror; lumbering horned creatures dragging clubs; twisting serpentine wyrms that left ice in their wake…

And, in the distance, what they had initially thought were mountains began moving…and coming closer, the ground shaking with every step. "What…what the…" Paul whispered.

"Bzzzzz…" Mariane buzzed anxiously.

"Is this…supposed to be happening?" asked the concerned Articuno, growing somewhat leery of the solidifying forms and the way they were looking at her.

"As the dimensions overlap, it is only natural that things of one world should cross over to another. Do not fear them, though…they mean us no harm," Bellum said. "After all, are we not creatures of the cold, just like them?" Marianne gulped and quickly shifted into her Frost Forme, just to be safe.

"We have nothing to fear…but the people on those train do, I take it?" Paul asked, a grin forming on his face.

Bellum chuckled. "Indeed…for this is Fimbulvinter, the season of the witch…and it shall bring an end to all who oppose me…"

She laughed as the titanic figures continued their approach, and snow fell upon the desert plains.

…

Meanwhile, in Kanjohenn…

With a thunderclap that shattered icicles and triggered avalanches, Latias and Latios flew towards Mt. Freeze, winding their way through blizzards and valleys and icy peaks as they approached the wintry mount. On Latios's back, Rayquaza shivered and hugged himself. "Brrrr…rather chilly, isn't it?"

"W-w-well, th-th-they c-c-call it M-mt. _F-f-f-freeze_ for a r-r-rreason," Latios replied, his teeth chattering from the cold. His blue and white down wasn't doing much to protect him from the weather. "H-hey s-s-sis, how much f-further?"

"Not far," Latias said. She glanced back. "Oh, and this should help a bit."

She tossed a ball of light back at them. As it touched Latios's chest, a wave of warmth rippled through him, and he shuddered in relief as the frost and icicles forming on his wings and claws melted off. "Ahhhhh…thanks, sis!"

"Yes, I'm feeling much better now!" Rayquaza, also fully thawed, shouted to her.

"No problem, guys!" she said with a (literally) radiant smile.

"That's it up ahead," Aaron said, pointing to an especially large snowy mountain. "Mt. Freeze."

"And at its top, Krysta…and some answers," Latias said.

They flew up the side of the mountain, soaring past crags and cliffs and startled Ice Pokémon, finally cresting the peak and looking down to see a crater filled with a magnificent and utterly out-of-place jungle spread out below them. Marvelous smells and sounds and heat wafted up from the tropical paradise and into the sensory organs of the amazed travelers. "Whoa…that's so cool! How'd she grow something this big out here in the middle of the frozen wilderness?" Latios asked in wonder.

"Magic, naturally," Aaron said, his disorientation with his Aura-sight being blinded due to the intense magical energy field surrounding the mountaintop not lasting for more than a second.

"You'd need a lot of magic to make something this impressive," Latios commented.

"Well, she _is_ a Ninetales. It is said that the longer they live, the more powerful they become," Rayquaza said. "And legends say the Ninetales of Mt. Freeze is very old indeed."

"She'd have to be, since those same legends also say she cursed a human over a thousand years ago," Latias agreed. "Gary, wasn't it?"

"That's what they said back in town…" Latios frowned. "But…if that was a thousand years ago, then why isn't she dead? I thought Ninetales could only live a millennium, and no more."

"Krysta was killed along with everyone else when Lord Null destroyed the world," Aaron explained. "When the Savior reconstructed it and brought everyone back, her biological clock was reset, giving her an extended lease on life."

"But…that lease must be getting near its end, mustn't it? I mean, that _was_ a thousand years ago, give or take…" Latios murmured.

"She waited as long as she could as a Vulpix before seeking out a Fire Stone," Aaron said. "And…aside from that, she has taken certain measures to prolong her longevity, although she's never been willing to talk about them."

Latios frowned. "Er…what kinds of measures? Like…bathing in the blood of innocent virgins, or devouring souls, or-"

"I told you, she hasn't been willing to talk about it!" Aaron said tersely. "And besides, Krysta would _never_ do something like that!"

"I dunno, didn't she pretty much condemn an innocent Gardevoir to death just because some stupid human pulled on her tails?" Latios asked dubiously.

"Ninetales are very touchy about their tails…and it was a long time ago. She's not like that anymore," Aaron said firmly. "And besides, Gardevoir got better, didn't she?"

"Yeah, after a thousand years of being dead," Latios muttered.

"More like being a disembodied spirit," Rayquaza corrected. "Though not quite a Ghost."

Latios rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

"We did not come here to discuss my wife's past or how she retains her youth, we're here to ask her how to restore Latios and Rayquaza to their full power," Aaron said in exasperation.

"And maybe give me a boost too," Latios said.

"Yes, that too," Aaron grumbled.

Abruptly, a pillar of swirling flames arose from the rainforest. "Whoa! What was that?" Latios cried in surprise.

"I think that's our landing beacon," Rayquaza said.

Aaron nodded. "Right, Latias, Latios, let's set down where that fire started."

"No problem," Latias said, already descending towards the jungle.

"Hey, wait for me!" Latios cried, swooping down after her.

As they entered the crater, the cold, dry air of the wintry landscape was replaced by incredibly warm and moist mist rising from the rainforest. Condensation rapidly formed on their skins due to the abrupt temperature change. As they flew into the forest, green rose up on all sides as incredibly tall trees towered all around them, laden with fruits and blossoms and leaves of so many shapes and colors that even the Rainbow bird Ho-Oh would have been envious. Energy seemed to radiate off of every rock and tree and pool of water, energy that filled their bodies to the point of bursting, making them feel like they could take on the whole world. "What is this feeling?" Rayquaza marveled, amazed that he wasn't turning into a Shellgon or resuming his true form due to the power surge. He'd always thought that evolution would feel something like this.

"This place is rich in magic," Aaron commented, ducking to keep from getting hit by a branch. "Not just from Krysta's power, but because of this being a convergence of several lines of magical force. It's only natural that we would feel energized simply by being here."

"This is a sacred place…I can feel it in my bones," Latias commented, taking a deep breath to process the many wonderful scents around her. "Mmm…I almost feel like my old self again…"

As they darted around the trees and over and under vines and branches, trying to keep their jaws from dropping too much at the sheer beauty of the tropical wonderland, their destination soon rose before them: a den made of stone polished by fire with nine twisting, towering columns rising from its top, glowing runes covering their surface. Sitting before the entrance to the den and looking up at them expectantly was an incredibly beautiful Ninetales, with eyes like rubies and fur like spun gold and nine lengthy and luxurious tails spread out behind her like a fan. She smiled joyfully as they landed, rising and walking over to them. "I was wondering when you would get around to coming here. I have been expecting you for quite some time now," she said in a voice like the ringing of silver bells and sweet cinnamon.

"Whoa," said an awestruck Latios. "She's…_really_ hot!"

"Yes, and she's my wife," Aaron said somewhat pointedly.

"Right, right," Latios murmured. "You are one lucky mon, you know that? Congratulations on landing a catch like her! I'm glad you're happy together."

Aaron smirked. "Thanks. I thank Arceus every day for matching me up with her."

"I bet your fangirls don't," Latios said. "Then again, who cares what they think, right?"

Krysta bowed gracefully to her guests. "Divine Guardian, Great Dragon God-King, Noble Latios, and of course, my dear Aura Guardian, welcome to my humble home."

"Did you hear that? She called me noble!" Latios said giddily. Rayquaza rolled his eyes.

Latias bowed. "It is an honor to meet an enchantress as exalted as yourself, Krysta. It is our hope that you can help us resolve the problem which plagues us."

"I will do what I can," she promised. She smiled as Aaron slipped off of Latias and walked over to her. "Aaron, my love, it has been far too long."

"I've only been gone a few weeks, Krysta," he pointed out, bending down to hug her.

"As I said, far too long," she said, kissing him.

"Um. Wow. Should we, uh, should we be watching this?" Latios asked as the kiss deepened and became a lot more…intimate.

"O-oh my," Rayquaza stammered, growing flustered.

"Ahem," Latias coughed.

Reluctantly, the couple broke apart from each other. "I suppose business must come before pleasure…" Krysta said with a sigh.

"We'll make up for it later," Aaron promised. "Now…I suppose you know why we've come?"

The Ninetales nodded. "Naturally. You seek a way to restore Latias and Rayquaza to their full divine power so that they can save the world."

"And maybe give me a little boost too," Latios added. "You know, just so I don't get left behind and all. I'm here too."

They ignored him. "Do you know of a way to fix what has happened to us?" Rayquaza asked.

Krysta nodded. "Of course. I'm disappointed you didn't come sooner, to be honest."

"We had a number of other issues to deal with," Aaron apologized. "So coming to you was not the first thing that came to mind."

"What, not even yours?" Krysta asked with a pout, causing Aaron to blush. "But no matter. You are here now, and that is what matters. However…" She frowned. "While I do know how you can regain your true powers, I must warn you that it will be neither easy nor…pleasant."

"Figures," Latios grumbled.

"When is it ever?" Latias said with a sigh.

"What must we do?" Rayquaza asked.

"Rayquaza, your divine essence fled your body in part due to the failure of the summoning spell and in part because of your…behavior during the ritual," Krysta said, causing the Bagon to fidget. "Do you know where it has gone?"

Rayquaza shook his head. "No. Nuken's had agents searching every inch of Kanjohenn, but so far there has been no sign of it."

"That is because it has gone to ground in a place they might not have thought to look…Wyvern Hill," Krysta said.

"Ah, where it all began…" Latias murmured. "Yes, how fitting…"

Rayquaza gasped. "Wyvern Hill! But…that's impossible, they already looked there!"

"There is more to Wyvern Hill than meets the eye, Rayquaza. You are aware, of course, why that place is considered sacred ground for your Empire?" Krysta asked.

"Well, of course! It's where the Empire was born," Rayquaza said. "I'm its ruler, so it's to be expected that I'd know that, isn't it?"

"Wait, really? That's where the Draconian Empire started?" Latios asked in surprise.

"…Well, yes, what did you think the big monument out front was for?" Rayquaza asked. "Or the temple? Or the field where historic reenactments of the last battle and famous treaty-signing are performed twice daily for tourists, thrice on the holidays?"

Latios sweatdropped. "I, uh, never noticed any of those…" The others facefaulted. "So how did it happen? The beginning of the Draconian Empire? I don't think I ever heard that story."

Rayquaza cleared his throat. "Well, according to the historical texts, thousands of years ago my predecessor-who's also me, somehow, in a way I don't really want to think about too much because it makes my head hurt—grew distant and apart from the rest of the world. From his roost high above the sky, he could see the world and all that dwelled on it, and from that vantage point the affairs and lives of mortals seemed petty and pointless and hopelessly fleeting. He became disenchanted with mortalkind and their endless wars and struggles to survive, preferring his quiet solitude and the company of the stars above to the noise and tumult on the surface.

"But while to Rayquaza events on the world below were small and insignificant, they had a great effect on the people who were swept up in them. Groups of humans and Dragons all across the globe were going to war. Some were humans fighting Dragons, some were humans who had tamed Dragons, some were Dragons who had enslaved humans…regardless, they waged war, centuries-old feuds and grudges and unpaid debts boiling over into full-blown conflict that ravaged countries and killed millions, leaving thousands homeless and destitute and unable to fend for themselves. And while all this happened, Rayquaza soared above, aloof and uncaring. 'After all,' he told himself whenever he began to feel stirrings of guilt or doubt, 'It's my duty to keep the atmosphere clean, to repel stellar invaders or threats, to calm down Groudon and Kyogre whenever they battle each other. This is a mortal matter, and so none of my concern. If I were to interfere, I'd only meddle, and make things worse, and it wouldn't do for that to happen, would it? Besides, it'll all probably blow over in a decade or two, it always does.'

"But he was wrong. It got worse, and the fighting continued for over a century, with the death toll rising higher and higher as the years went by, and showing no signs of calming down. Countless treaties and alliances and truces had been formed, only to be broken and betrayed, to the point where it seemed as if peace would never be a viable option. Many no longer even remembered what that word meant. People prayed to the gods, as they always do in times of turmoil, but by that point Rayquaza was so high in the atmosphere that their words of supplication could no longer reach his ears, and any who tried to ascend to his level fell short, because no Flying Pokémon on Earth could reach the altitude at which he spent most of his time. And for a while, things seemed really hopeless and bleak. But then…

"One day, a prayer finally reached Rayquaza's ears, one so loud and desperate that not even his hardened heart could bear to ignore it. Now, this happened a very long time ago, so specifics are a little vague and differ from telling to telling, but it's universally agreed that a child—though the gender and species are uncertain—climbed to the top of Wyvern Hill after limping for miles from the shattered ruins of its village and the broken and bleeding corpses of its family and, with its last breath, begged for someone, anyone, to please do something. And so…Rayquaza did.

"His heart moved, his disillusionment broken, and his faith in mortals restored, Rayquaza realized how just bad things had gotten on the world below, and decided that even though he was supposed to protect the Earth from external threats, there wasn't really much of a point in doing that if there wasn't any Earth left to protect. For the first time in ages he descended to the world below, calling out to any who still believed in him to flock to his side. Allies coming to him from all over the world, friends both old and new who had the kernel of belief burning in their hearts, Rayquaza flew from battlefield to battlefield, trouncing the armies of every faction and sending them fleeing back to their homelands. Then, before they could recover, he challenged the leaders of the feuding factions to battle. Those who fought him and lost he spared, and those who refused to face him he crushed, taking control of the myriad clans and tribes by force and putting a decisive conclusion to the bloodshed. In the span of just a few weeks, he managed to end a war that had been raging for longer than most people had been alive.

"At the base of Wyvern Hill, the remaining leaders of the factions were forced to sign the Treaty of Draconis, signifying that they would no longer raise tooth and claw against each other and that they all swore fealty to Rayquaza. To make sure they kept their promise, Rayquaza decided to remain somewhat closer to Earth. He realized he'd gotten rather out of touch with the planet he was supposed to protect, and needed to keep a closer eye on it to make sure nothing like this ever happened again. The Sky Tower was erected to give him a floating palace in which he could travel the world in luxury and create a seat of government from which he could lord over his myriad vassal states. Initially, the other nations of the world feared that he would try to conquer them as well, but knowing too well the ravages and catastrophes war could cause, Rayquaza had no interest in making anyone join him by force, he'd already done enough of that for one civilization. If his dominion were to expand—and he had every intention of _letting_ it expand—it would be through peaceful means, and anyone or anything that sought to disrupt that peace would soon wish they hadn't, as their armies were smashed, their leaders thrown down, and their lands and their people forcibly assimilated into the Empire. It has remained that way ever since, and now there are few left foolish enough to challenge our divine right to rule. And that," Rayquaza finished. "Is the tale of how the Draconian Empire rose to power."

"…Wow," Latios said. "Did _any_ of that story actually happen, or is it just one of those national myths countries make up to justify their origins and political stance?" Rayquaza gave him an exasperated look, but said nothing.

"Regardless of the validity of the exact details, Wyvern Hill is where the Empire was forged, and it is also where your predecessor put his greatest secret, something that not even his second-in-commands, Nuken's predecessors, knew of," Krysta said.

"Then how do you know it?" Rayquaza asked, perplexed.

Krysta smiled. "Because I have ways of knowing many secrets."

"And what is this secret?" Aaron asked.

"The elder Rayquaza, like most gods, decided he needed a focus point for his power, a place that he could not only draw strength from, but his power would automatically flow to in case it should somehow be separated from him," Krysta said. "To that end, he created a second, secret temple deep within Wyvern Hill, a temple hidden so well that not even the Draconian priests in the main temple are aware of it."

"Me neither, apparently," Rayquaza murmured, looking annoyed.

"You were probably meant to learn of it when your predecessor passed his power to you, but due to Bellum's meddling and her daughter absorbing part of his essence, you probably missed that bit," Latias theorized.

Krysta nodded. "That witch has caused much harm in her myriad attempts to gain power. She must be stopped…but that is a task for another."

"And our task right now is restoring Rayquaza's power," Latias said. "Which is waiting for him in this hidden temple?"

Krysta nodded. "Indeed, it automatically flew there after the disaster at the summoning ritual."

"Then let's go get it," Aaron said. "Unless…there's a catch we need to worry about?"

"Isn't there always?" Latios lamented.

"I'm afraid that's the case this time, too," Krysta said apologetically. "There are two complications that will make Rayquaza retrieving his power problematic."

Rayquaza sighed in resignation. "And those are?"

"The first is that the entrance to the secret temple only appears once every few centuries, when the Dragon Star reaches its zenith in the heavens," Krysta said.

"Oh, come on!" Latios groaned. "And I'm guessing we can't just blast it open, or Dig, or Teleport in, or…" Krysta shook her head. He sighed. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

"The Dragon Star…that thing again?" Rayquaza murmured, recalling how Bellum had called upon its power on that night all those years ago.

"I don't think we can afford to wait a few hundred years," Aaron said.

"Then it's a good thing the Dragon Star will reach its zenith in just a few days," Latias said.

The others perked up at this. "What, seriously? Wow, that's convenient," Latios said.

Rayquaza frowned. "A little…_too_ convenient…"

"Unfortunately, it will be the only part of this task that will be convenient," Krysta said. "Once Rayquaza enters the temple, he will not be able to just take the power. He must _earn_ it."

"Why?" Rayquaza asked. "It's mine, isn't it?"

"Yes…but after the accident at the ritual, your power may no longer consider you to be its rightful vessel," Krysta said.

"But he's the true Dragon God King," Latias argued as Rayquaza's face fell. "He is nothing if _not_ the rightful vessel!"

"Then he must prove it by undertaking a number of Tests of Kinghood," Krysta said. "Trials that will test his strength, his spirit, and his moral fiber. Trials that will see if he has truly learned anything over the last few centuries as Rayquaza, and whether or not he is worthy to continue serving in that office. If he can pass the tests, he will be restored to his godly form."

"And let me guess, if I fail, I die?" Rayquaza sighed.

"No, you get a chance to study, train, and retake the tests at a later date," Krysta said.

"Oh," Rayquaza said, looking relieved. "That's not so bad, then."

"Um, but doesn't that door open only once every few hundred years?" Aaron asked.

"I said he could retake them later. I never said _how much_ later," Krysta said. They groaned.

"Then I will try my best to get it right the first time," Rayquaza said resignedly.

"And if you screw up, I guess we could go to Team Rocket and beg them to let that Celebi of theirs take us to the next point in time when the door opens," Latios said reluctantly.

"Perhaps, but I would rather not have to do something like that at all, if possible," Aaron said. Latias frowned, her thoughts troubled as always where the pink Celebi and her friends was concerned. She knew Paradox well—after all, they were both Guardians, and Latias was great friends with the Celebi's mother—but Latias did not understand what she was doing or why. She did not recall hearing about Paradox or her team being assigned to any mission, but she hadn't heard anything about them going renegade either. That implied that either they had gone rogue but it was being covered up for some reason, or they _were_ on a mission but _that_ was being covered up for some reason…and she, one of the highest-ranking members of the Guardians, had not been informed. This troubled her. What could they be up to that she hadn't been told about, and why hadn't she been told about it?

"Neither would I," Rayquaza said, snapping her out of her thoughts. "And what of Latias? How do we restore her powers?"

"I don't suppose there's a secret temple dedicated to the Guardian of Light or something we could visit?" Latios asked half-jokingly.

Krysta shook her head. "Unfortunately, no. Restoring Latias's full powers is a twofold process. First, Rayquaza must regain his full power, so that the ritual can begin anew."

"Which we can't attempt for another few days," Rayquaza pointed out.

"And what is the other thing?" Aaron asked.

Krysta narrowed her eyes. "You must find the sorcerer responsible for interfering the last time…and make sure that he does not do so again."

"I had thought as much…" Latias murmured.

"I don't suppose you can help us find this guy?" Latios asked.

"I can…but only to a point," Krysta said apologetically.

Aaron frowned. "And why is that?"

"The adversary you face is one whom I have fought many times in the past," Krysta explained. "He is one of the most powerful and dangerous mages alive…all the more so because unlike others of his kind, he does not revel in exerting his power in grand displays for all to see, but uses it in more subtle ways, using it to corrupt and destroy his foes from within. He is ageless and deathless, and has worked for millennia to bring about the return of the Ruler of Evil."

"Sounds like one tough cookie…" Latios murmured.

Rayquaza frowned. "Deathless…you mean we can't kill him?"

"Not as you are now. When Latias regains her full powers, she will be capable of destroying him once and for all. But he was aware of that possibility, so acted to prevent her full incorporation on our world, to preserve his existence long enough to continue his plotting," Krysta said.

"Then if we can't kill him, how are we to defeat him?" Aaron asked, perplexed.

"By binding him," Latias said. "Just as he has bound you here."

Krysta nodded. "That is correct."

"Wait, what?" Latios asked in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"Krysta?" Aaron asked in alarm. "Is there something you haven't told me?"

Krysta looked at the ground, ashamed. "I…forgive me, Aaron. I led you to believe that I did not leave this place because my powers would weaken outside this jungle. That is not…the complete truth. You see, I _can't_ leave. Ever. This place, while beautiful, is also my prison."

"…I don't understand," Aaron whispered.

"As I said, I have fought the sorcerer many times before. A few centuries ago, we engaged in final battle atop this mountain, a battle so great that it shook the continent and made it seem as if Mt. Freeze was erupting from the sheer power of the magic we hurled at each other. Too confident in my own skills and power, I pressed him, flinging everything I had at him…and did not realize until too late that was exactly what he wanted. He sprung his trap, triggering a spell that turned my own powers against me, tearing my magical might from my body and anchoring it to this mountain, forcing it to take physical form as the rainforest you see around us…and also creating a cage from which I can never escape. My vaunted strength, the legendary power of a Ninetales, is also the shackle that chains me here. I cannot break this curse, because it is a part of me, and to do so would be to destroy a part of myself. As a result, I have languished here for hundreds of years, helpless and all alone…" She raised her eyes to stare adoringly at Aaron. "Until you came, Aaron, and gave me a reason to live again."

"…Huh. I did not see this coming," Latios said.

"I knew it all along, actually," Latias said.

"Why didn't you mention it before now, then?" Rayquaza asked.

She shrugged. "It wasn't my place to say." They sweatdropped.

Aaron frowned. "Why didn't you tell me all this before now?"

Krysta blushed. "Partly out of vanity. I…have a reputation, and I didn't really want anyone, especially one whom I care for as much as you, knowing the real reason I live on Mt. Freeze isn't because I choose to but because I am a prisoner. And also because…because I knew that if you were aware of the truth of my condition, you would seek out the sorcerer and try to force him to free me, uncaring of the risk to your life."

"You were right, because now I'm going to do just that," Aaron growled. "Where is he?"

Krysta sighed. "Pokémon Square."

They all started at this. "What?" Latios cried.

"But that's not possible!" Aaron protested. "If that were true, I would have sensed him by now!"

"As would I," Latias said, with a troubled frown. "Are you certain of this, Krysta?"

Krysta nodded. "He's been living there for years in disguise, seeking a way to undermine your defenses and disable the town's shield wall so that your enemies could destroy you."

"Impossible…" Aaron murmured in disbelief. "How has he gone unnoticed until now?"

"And how have we failed to spot him?" Latias asked. "I can read the minds of everyone in town at all times, but I never detected anyone like the evil wizard you describe."

"That is because he did not wish you to," Krysta said. "As I told you before, he is one of the greatest mages in the world, and skilled at subtlety and deceit. His mastery over the superstrings is so great that he can actually warp reality around him so that his appearance is whatever he chooses it to be and his mind is shielded even from the eyes of beings like yourself. Were you at your full power, however, you would have spotted him in a heartbeat, which is another reason why he meddled in your summoning, to make sure you did not interfere in his work."

"That explains a lot…" Latias murmured. "But to think he's so powerful! How disconcerting…"

"Yeah, this guy's sounding worse and worse the more you tell us about him," said a worried Latios. "And we're supposed to defeat him _how?_"

"And another question is why he hasn't done more," said a puzzled Aaron.

Rayquaza nodded. "Yes, if he's truly this powerful, why has he not simply wiped the town from the face of the Earth by now?"

"Because he cannot," Krysta said. "For the same reason the Nihilators have not simply obliterated Pokémon Square from orbit."

They stared at her in horror. "They have that kind of capability?" said a shocked Aaron.

"Since Rayquaza is no longer capable of flying up to destroy their satellites or warships, yes," Krysta said, causing Rayquaza to wince. "However, you need not fear such an airstrike. Pokémon Square cannot be destroyed in such a manner."

"And why is that?" Latios asked.

"The shield wall," Latias realized. "It's protecting the town even when it's switched off, isn't it?"

Krysta nodded. "Even when deactivated, it emits a frequency that neutralizes most forms of hostile magic or technological weaponry that could be brought to bear against the town. The only thing it doesn't neutralize is biological attacks, such as the kind all Pokémon are naturally able to generate, but it's so strong that the majority of those attacks are useless against it anyway."

"But why doesn't it neutralize Pokémon attacks, just to be safe?" asked a confused Latios.

"Because then it would weaken the townsPokémon as well," Latias intuited.

Krysta nodded. "That is correct."

"Ohhhh," Latios said, getting it.

Rayquaza started, an idea occurring to him. "Then…is that the reason the Nihilators have been trying to recruit barbarian hordes to destroy the town, rather than doing it themselves? I was wondering about that."

Krysta nodded. "Indeed. Since barbarians rely more on brute force than on magic or science, they make the perfect pawns to use against Pokémon Square. The Nihilators have been stirring them up and making them stronger in hopes that such a massive assault from their like could possibly overwhelm the shields and penetrate your defenses."

"And could it?" Aaron asked, amazed and impressed by this new information about just how securely his home was safeguarded.

"It might…especially if it were to be sabotaged from within, as the sorcerer is trying to do," Krysta said.

"Then we must stop him," Latias said.

"And we do that…how exactly?" Latios asked.

"Well, if the shield is nullifying most of his magic, couldn't we just fight him?" Rayquaza asked. "Even if we can't kill him, we could at least incapacitate him until something better comes up."

Krysta nodded. "That is what I was going to suggest. However, remember that he is very cunning, and skilled at slipping out of situations that could prove hazardous to him, turning your own attacks against you just as he did to me. To defeat him, you must be just as cunning."

"If we should not challenge him directly, then what would you recommend?" Latias asked.

"Over the years since my defeat, I have been working on a way to trap him," Krysta said. Coiling her tails together and turning around, she bit into the tips of her tails and ripped out nine slender golden hairs. "Take these, and put them in something your adversary is about to eat," she said, depositing the hairs in Aaron's paw. "My magic will do the rest."

Aaron bowed his head. "Thank you, Krysta. I will make him pay for what he has done to you."

Krysta smiled gently. "I know you will."

"Once we have captured him, will you be free from your prison?" Rayquaza asked.

"That…is something I am not sure of," Krysta admitted. "Even though it was his spell that trapped me, it is my own power that forms the bars of my cage. Defeating him may not be enough to release me from here."

"If it's not, then I'll do it," Latias promised. "Once I'm back at full power, I should be able to manage something as simple as that."

"Would you?" Aaron asked hopefully.

"Thank you, Guardian," Krysta said gratefully. "I know that my fate is safe in your claws."

"Um, just one teensy little problem," Latios spoke up. "Namely…how exactly are we going to find this guy, if he's so good at hiding in plain sight? Unless you can tell us who or what he's masquerading as?"

"I cannot, I'm afraid," Krysta said apologetically, causing them to sag in disappointment. "However…I do know someone who can."

"Oh? Who?" Rayquaza asked, their spirits rising again.

Krysta glanced at Aaron. "Zorra."

Aaron stiffened. "Zorra! That…is not a name I have heard in quite some time…"

Latios frowned. "Who is Zorra?"

"Someone from my past…that I did not think I would ever run into again…" Aaron murmured.

"The past has a way of catching up to us, Aaron," Krysta said. "I am aware that things between you were…difficult, but you must try to patch things up with her, because she is the only one who can help us."

Aaron sighed reluctantly. "If I must…"

"Who is Zorra?" Latios repeated. "I feel like we're missing out on something here. Sis?"

"I could tell you, but…I think this is something Aaron needs to explain for himself," Latias said, nodding to the Lucario, who sighed and reluctantly began his tale.

"I left Pokémon Square about a decade ago to become stronger in the ways of Aura so that I could better protect the people I cared for," Aaron explained. "In pursuit of that strength, I sought out Krysta, having heard from Chuck that she might know a few things, given her years and wisdom. Surprised that I had come to her, she agreed to teach me what she knew."

Latios stifled a giggle. _Don't even go there,_ Latias warned him.

"However," Krysta said. "You were not my only apprentice at that time." Latios had to stifle another giggle, and Latias smacked him.

Aaron shook his head. "No…there was another. A Zoroark by the name of…Zorra."

Rayquaza frowned. "A Zoroark? Those are even rarer than Lucario these days…"

"Those guys are supposed to be capable of altering their appearance using illusions, right?" Latios recalled. "Sort of like Sis and I can."

"Except they are far more skilled at it," Latias said. "There are some who think that Zoroark aren't rare at all, that they live in massive communities, but seclude themselves from the rest of the world using their special power."

"Zorra came to me to learn more of the art of illusion, since it is one of the many powers a Ninetales like myself is master of," Krysta explained. "She had a very special talent for illusion, one that far surpassed that of her peers."

"Her illusions had taste, smell, even physical form," Aaron said. "They were so good that even my Aura-sight was tricked into thinking they were real."

"I tutored both of them, and they trained together very closely," Krysta said. "After some initial animosity, they became friends. Very…_close_ friends." Aaron flushed at this.

"I think I see where this is going…" Latios murmured.

Rayquaza nodded. "Same old story…"

"And at the same time, you became very close to Krysta, too?" Latias asked.

Aaron nodded reluctantly. "I liked both of them…very much. Krysta's beauty and grace, her wisdom and experience took my breath away…but at the same time, Zorra's humor and wit, her illusions and exotic, dusky air had a great appeal of its own. It was inevitable, I suppose, that I should find myself attracted to both of them…and they to me." He sighed. "And that…is where things became complicated. I was very fond of both of them…I _loved_ both of them. But in the end, I knew I could only pick one."

"Why?" Latios asked. "Couldn't you have just had both of them? I mean, lots of Pokémon do that all the time…"

Aaron frowned. "I'm not most Pokémon. I'm a Lucario, not a Gallade, who amass extensive harems over their long lives. We are monogamous. It is our way."

"Yeah, and your species is also sort of dying out…ever think there might be some kind of correlation?" Latios suggested. Aaron grunted.

"And in the end, you chose Krysta," Latias said.

Aaron nodded. "In the end, I decided I loved her more, and asked her to be my mate. Zorra, heartbroken, departed Mt. Freeze. I have not seen her since."

"But you must see her again if you are to defeat the sorcerer," Krysta said. "Zorra is the greatest illusionist I have ever met. If anyone can see past the veils our enemy weaves around himself, it is her, one that is just as skilled at fabricating realities to suit her whim."

Aaron sighed. "I understand. I will find her. It will not be…pleasant, though."

"Says you, I'm kind of looking forward to this!" Latios said. Latias frowned at him. "What?"

"Where can we find Zorra?" Rayquaza asked.

"She has made her den in Secretive Forest," Krysta said.

They started at this revelation. "What? So close to town?" Latias asked in disbelief.

"Where better to hide but in plain sight, where no one would ever think to look?" Krysta asked.

"Well, that's unexpected," Rayquaza said. "Although, given the _name_ of the forest, it seems rather obvious in retrospect."

"Do you think she went there because…she hoped she might run into Aaron again one day?" Latios wondered.

"Or perhaps…she felt like she was protecting Pokémon Square in his absence?" Latias said.

"She was there all this time…and I never…" Aaron whispered. He clenched his paws. "…I must set things right with her."

"You must," Krysta agreed. "You must go yourself to Secretive Forest, because it is doubtful she will reveal herself to any but you. However, it will have to wait until tomorrow, because you will be indisposed for the rest of the day."

"I will?" Aaron asked in confusion. Krysta gave him a pointed look, then turned and sashayed into her den, tails waving sensually. It took him a moment to realize what she meant, and then he turned bright red. "Oh. OH! Um…I'll…I'll just, ah…" Coughing in embarrassment, he handed his staff to Latias. "Um, hold onto this, will you?" He turned and followed his mate into her den without another word.

There was an awkward silence. "Well," Latios said finally, a cheeky grin on his face. "It looks like somebody's scoring tonight."

"Yes, and it's not you," Rayquaza said.

"I beg to differ! I have a date with one of your attendants tonight!" Latios said triumphantly.

"She's not really into you, she's just interested because you're my brother and you got to carry Rayquaza around during the battle," Latias said.

"…Yeah, I know," Latios said miserably. "Better than nothing, though…"

"I guess we should be going then," Latias said. "We'll come back tomorrow to pick Aaron up."

"I can't imagine Zorra'll be happy to see him, though, once she smells the other womon all over him…" Latios said.

"Yes, but they're married," Rayquaza said. "No reason to deny them their…privileges, yes?"

"Aren't we kind of in a hurry, though?" Latios asked.

"We can't get Rayquaza's power back for another few days, and the sorcerer hasn't succeeded so far in doing anything other than being an annoyance, so no, we aren't in a rush," Latias said.

Latios frowned. "Then…what do we do now?"

"Go back to town, I suppose," Rayquaza suggested. "Since we'd only get in the way here."

As if on cue, they started hearing long, low moaning from the den. The three of them flushed as they heard panting, and gasping, and _shouting…_ "Okay, I think we've overstayed our welcome," Latios said loudly.

"Er, yes, quite," Rayquaza agreed.

Latias giggled. "Very well, let's leave them alone for the time being. We'll come back tomorrow. They should be done by then."

"One can only hope…" Latios murmured, levitating Rayquaza onto his back.

With that, the dragons vacated the premises, leaving the jungle quiet and empty, save for the vociferous noises of passion emanating from the Ninetales' den. It was probably a good thing Krysta didn't have any neighbors, because they wouldn't really put up with such frequent and loud disruptions like this for very long…

That, or they'd want to watch.

…

Meanwhile, back in Pokémon Square…

"Isn't this soooo romantic, Gilbert-kun?" Kira asked as she nuzzled the reluctant Gilbert the Squirtle. "Just you and me sitting on the beach, watching the Sun set, basking in the sea breeze and the sounds of the tide and those Dewgong and Sealeo frolicking in the bay?"

Gilbert's eye twitched. "Kira, first off, don't call me '-kun,' I don't think you even know what that suffix means. Second, we're not really alone considering there's SIX OTHER POKÉMON with us!" he shouted, waving at Team GX, Team Pokepals, and Torch the Charmander, who were sitting nearby.

"So good to see you haven't forgotten about me," Torch muttered.

"And third…I don't think those Dewgong and Sealeo are frolicking, or at least, not in the way that you think they are," Gilbert said.

Kira frowned in puzzlement. "Huh? What do you…" She trailed off as she stared at the seals, slowly comprehending what she was looking at. Her face turned very red. "O-oh my!"

"Well, I could have gone without seeing that," George the Chimchar said deadpan.

"On the plus side, now Sapphire won't need visual aids to help her to better understand the…unorthodox explanation of 'the Pidgeot and the Beedrill' Grandpa gave us," Collette said.

"Oh, I saw those ages ago, I got tired of everyone avoiding the subject and just went to ask Nurse Joy. She was very informative," Sapphire said. The others sweatdropped.

"Anyway," Junior said loudly. "When's Team Awesome going to get here? They should have been here by now."

"Team who?" Gilbert asked.

"Team Awesome," Collette said. "You know…Pichu, Matthias, and Max?"

"…Seriously? That's what they called themselves?" Torch asked incredulously.

"You're one to talk, Team Go-Getters," George said snidely.

"Hey, Kira's the one who thought it was a good idea," Torch protested.

"And it was! Isn't that right, Gilbert-kun!" Kira chirped.

"Stop calling me '-kun!'" Gilbert snapped in exasperation, shoving her away. She eagerly shoved him right back, knocking him to the sand, then pinned him underneath her. "Help! She's raping me!"

"Dude, you have a shell. That's like the ultimate condom or something," George said.

"Should we be talking about that sort of thing in front of Sapphire?" Collette asked anxiously. "I mean, she knows what they are now—no thanks to Grandpa—but-"

"Oh, it's no problem. Nurse Joy told me all about those too and how they work," Sapphire said. "In _great_ detail." They sweatdropped.

"Anyway…Hubie!" Junior said, changing the subject. "Why don't you use that Temporal Wail of yours to see when they're going to get here?"

"It's called 'Dimensional Scream,' and it doesn't work that way," Hubie said. "I have to touch a person or object first, and even then there's no telling whether what I see is in the past or the future, or how far it goes in either direction." Hubie, interestingly enough, had a special power known as 'Dimensional Scream,' which allowed him to see visions of the past or future on certain occasions when he touched something, though only when George was nearby, for some reason. Why he had such a power was unknown, though Hubie claimed it was because he was a human from the future, a concept everyone knew was nonsense since humans had been extinct for centuries, so how could new ones possibly pop up in the years to come? They attributed his amnesia and the fact that he'd been found washed up on the town beach to coming from a shipwreck or something. They had less of an explanation for Gilbert, who _also_ had amnesia, was found in the wilderness, and claimed to be a human (albeit one from another universe), but at least the latter was semi-plausible given the thing with Ash and Gary being reincarnations of past humans or humans from another world or whatever their backstory of the day was.

"Then touch one of us and see what happens," Collette suggested.

"Oh! Tell me if Gilbert-kun and I get married!" Kira squealed, jumping off of Gilbert and tackling the startled Piplup.

"Not gonna happen!" the beleaguered Gilbert said as he sat back up.

Hubie stiffened and his eyes shrank as he touched Kira, a dizzy sensation rolling through his brain as his vision flashed into negative and he saw…

"_Mmm…mmm…ohhhh, Torch," a Bayleef moaned as she made out with a Charmeleon._

"_Oh, Kira…oh…ohhhh," the Charmeleon gasped. "I love you so much…"_

"_Yes…yes…oh, Arceus YES…And I love you too…But Gilbert-kun can never know!" the Bayleef said, nuzzling the Charmeleon._

"_I'm right here, actually, and I'm perfectly okay with it," a Wartortle said as he walked by. "Though you may want to use another room, my date should be getting here any minute now."_

"_Hi, Gilbert!" a Marill said as she entered the room. She paused and stared at the very embarrassed-looking Bayleef and Charmeleon. "Um, what's-"_

"_Not important, Sapph," the Wartortle said, sweeping the Marill up and leading her away. "Now, why don't we go make some magic of our own, huh?"_

"Well? How beautiful do I look in my wedding dress?" Kira asked eagerly as Hubie was snapped back to the present.

"Um…er…I saw nothing…nothing at all…" the Piplup lied, dazed by the horror he had just witnessed. He would never tell a soul what he had seen…

"Really? But your eyes went all-" George started.

Hubie shoved Kira off and grabbed the Chimchar by the scarf. "I. Saw. NOTHING!"

George laughed nervously. "Right. Nothing. Got it."

Thankfully, it was at that moment Team Awesome arrived. "Hey guys," Pichu said.

"Hey," Collette returned the greeting.

"How'd your test go?" Gilbert asked.

"We'd rather not talk about it," Matthias said wearily.

"That bad, huh?" Junior asked sympathetically.

"That's a bit of an understatement," Max said.

"We got massacred," Pichu moaned, putting his face in his hands. "By _Ignik,_ of all people!"

"Wow. That's gotta suck," George said.

"Yep, you'll never live off the humiliation of that one," Torch agreed.

Collette winced. "Ouch. Grandpa's not gonna be happy when he hears that."

"Or Lucas," Junior agreed. The three members of Team Awesome exchanged uneasy looks.

"We get a do-over tomorrow," Max said finally. "So…I don't suppose you guys could help us keep from screwing up this badly again?"

"Of course we will," Kira promised. "What are friends for?"

"Plus, I get to repay Pichu for ruining my bowtie the other day," Hubie said, rubbing his fins together with an evil look on his face that caused the young mouse to gulp.

"All right," Collette declared as Team Awesome drew their wooden swords and everyone else got up. "Let's start this session! Everyone against Team Awesome!"

"Wait, what?" Matthias cried in alarm.

"That doesn't seem very fair," said a worried Max.

"If you can't beat eight Pokémon fighting you at once, how can you possibly defeat just one?" Sapphire asked reasonably.

Pichu scowled. "Damn you, logic! You've outmatched me again!"

"Let's begin," Collette said, raising an arm. "In three…two…"

"HEEEEELP!"

The eleven children started. "Did you guys just hear that?" Torch asked.

"If by 'that,' you mean the call of someone in distress, then yes!" Junior said.

"And as budding Rescue Teams and Rescue Teams-in-training, it's our duty to help anyone in need!" George said.

"But where is…aha! Look over there!" Pichu cried, pointing his sword further down the beach, where a Happiny was struggling against a small blue aquatic Pokémon over a shimmering blue transparent egg with a red dot inside of it. "There's our target!"

"It's Mimi!" Sapphire gasped, recognizing one of her playmates, a Happiny who was…unusual for a number of reasons. One was that she called herself Mimi instead of Joy, unlike the rest of her family. Another was that she wanted to be part of a Rescue Team instead of a Nurse, which her mother was somewhat reluctant to do but had little choice but to humor her due to Mimi's third unusual trait, namely her unnatural super-strength, which led to some rather frightening tantrums when she didn't get her way. Finally, she had a habit of talking in the third person. Nobody knew why she did this, she just did. She was kind of weird that way.

"But what's that Pokémon she's fighting with? It doesn't look like any kind I've ever seen before…" George murmured.

Max adjusted his glasses. "I believe that is Phione, the Sea Drifter Pokémon."

They started. "Phione? As in, one of the children of Manaphy, that Nihilator admiral Dad beat just a little while ago?" Junior gasped.

"Then that must mean…he's a Nihilator, too!" Collette realized.

"But what's one of his kind doing here?" Matthias wondered. "He must know Nihilators and their ilk aren't welcome here…"

"Who knows? But if he was stupid enough to try and invade our town and steal our eggs, then we'll just have to 'escort' him to the exit, won't we?" Pichu said, eyes flashing as he realized this might be the opportunity he had been waiting for to (literally) make a name for himself. "Let's get him, guys! If my big brothers could beat this guy's dad, then we shouldn't have a problem taking out this one by ourselves!"

"Sounds good to me!" Torch said with a grin.

"Let's do this!" Hubie agreed.

"Chaaaaarge!" Junior bellowed, running ahead of everyone else towards the Phione.

"Hey, wait for us!" Sapphire cried as she and Collette rushed after him, quickly followed by everyone else, all of them shouting battle cries and waving their weapons.

"Please, give me back the egg!" the Phione cried, trying to wrench the ovoid from Mimi's arms. "You have no idea how important it is!"

"No! This egg is Mimi's! You can't have it! Help! Heeeeelp!" the Happiny screamed.

The Phione winced. "Please don't shout! Look, there's no need to make this so difficult, just give me the egg and…huh?" Hearing some shouts, he turned his head and saw the Rescue Teams running towards him. His face paled. "Oh, crud."

"Attaaaaaaack!" Pichu screeched, firing a Thundershock that blasted into the Phione, knocking him away from Mimi with a scream.

"For Pokémon Squaaaaare!" George howled as he leaped onto the Phione and started pummeling him before he could get up. The others quickly surrounded him and joined in.

"Mimi, get out of here, we'll handle this guy!" Kira told the Happiny in between lashes from her Vine Whips.

"Yeah, we'll make him pay for messing with one of our own!" Junior said, stomping on the Phione's head repeatedly.

"Okay! Thank you, Rescue Teams! Mimi will take the egg to safety!" Mimi promised, scurrying away as fast as she could.

"Aaaah! Ow! Stop it! Stop it! Why are you attacking me?" the Phione screamed as he curled into a ball to try and shield himself from the furious blows.

"Because you set foot…er, spike on our shores and tried to attack and rob one of our citizens, Nihilator scum!" Gilbert said, kicking the Phione.

"Yeah, and anyone who does on our watch has to answer to us!" Matthias agreed, stabbing the Phione with his wooden sword.

"Ufh! What? A Nihilator? But I'm not a Nihilator!" the Phione protested in surprise.

The others hesitated. "What do you mean you aren't a Nihilator? You're one of the kids of Manaphy, the traitor legendary who turned on his friends and made the Temple of the Sea into a fortress of evil, aren't you?" asked the puzzled Hubie.

"Daddy said he fought you and your Daddy in the temple and beat you all," Sapphire said.

"If your Daddy is Ash of Team Aurabolt, then yes, that's exactly what happened," the Phione said. "And I _was_ a Nihilator…but only because Papa was! After Grandma Kyogre ate him and he was reincarnated in an egg, we stopped being Nihilators. We didn't like being part of their group in the first place, but only went along with it because Papa did. Once he was out, so were we."

There was an awkward pause. "Then…you mean you aren't evil?" Collette asked slowly.

"No!" the Phione shouted.

"But…then why were you trying to steal the egg Mimi had?" Gilbert asked in confusion.

"I wasn't stealing it, she stole it from me!" the Phione said. "That egg was the last Phione egg Papa laid before he got eaten by Grandma Kyogre and was reborn again. I lost hold of it in a speedy current while entering the bay, and it washed up on shore, where the Happiny got to it before I could. When I tried to take it back from her, she insisted it was hers, then started yelling for help, and you all attacked me for no reason!"

The kids exchanged guilty looks. "Oh…um…sorry…" Torch said apologetically.

"Well, this is awkward…" George muttered, rubbing the back of his head in embarrassment.

"Oh, mon…Dad is gonna kill us when he hears about this…" Pichu groaned.

Collette nodded in agreement. "Yeah, jumping to conclusions like that isn't the sort of thing we're supposed to do…"

"Wait," Junior said slowly. "Did he say _Manaphy_ laid the egg? But…Manaphy's a _guy…_"

"Actually, that doesn't necessarily mean anything," Max said. "Contrary to popular belief, female Pokémon aren't the only ones who can lay eggs. There are a number of species, such as members of the Horsea line, where the males do the laying instead. Additionally, species whose genders are more indeterminate such as Voltorb, Porygon, and Magnemite are capable of laying eggs no matter which way they seem to be sexually inclined. That's why Dittos are such good breeders, because they're actually genderless and only take on male or female characteristics and traits to fit in with gendered species like the rest of us, so can reproduce with just about anyone. As such, it is by no means impossible for Manaphy to be capable of laying his own eggs."

"Ah," Junior said blankly.

"That's a lot more information than we really needed to hear," said a grossed-out Gilbert.

"Nurse Joy told me all about that, too, so it's nothing new," Sapphire said. They sweatdropped.

"After Grandma Kyogre laid Papa's egg and left us to fend for ourselves, we delivered it to May, his Mama, and struck out to try and find a new home," the Phione said. "But everyone under the sea had heard how we had helped Papa do terrible things, so wanted nothing to do with us, even though we tried to tell them we were reformed. Turned away at every cave and reef and shipwreck, we finally became so desperate we thought to see if we would be accepted at Pokémon Square, for even though we'd helped the people trying to destroy it, we'd heard that its port was open to any who sought refuge. I guess we heard wrong…"

The kids winced and exchanged even guiltier looks. "No, you heard right," Hubie said quickly. "We just…"

"Jumped to conclusions," Matthias apologized. "We're young and relatively inexperienced. We made wrongful assumptions, even though we're supposed to be better than that. We're sorry. We promise it won't happen again."

"We'd be more than happy to welcome you and the rest of your kind to Pokémon Square, if you've truly changed your ways," Collette assured the Phione.

He smiled in relief. "You have no idea how good that is to hear. The others will be elated to hear that as well. They sent me as an advance scout to test the waters, and gave me the egg in hopes that its presence would make you hesitate to attack me, should you be hostile towards us."

"That certainly worked well for you…" Hubie muttered.

"We'll help you get your egg back from Mimi, then take you to the Mayor to discuss more formal terms of settlement," Gilbert promised.

Pichu nodded. "Space is a little tight right now what with all the other refugees, but there should be plenty of room in Firefly Bay for you and the rest of your kind."

"Um…but if you didn't mention our little…mistake when we take you to see the grown-ups, we'd really appreciate it," Kira said with a blush.

"Well, if you help me get my egg back, I guess I could let it slide," the Phione said good-naturedly. He looked down at his beaten and bloody body and frowned. "We're going to need to do something about all this first, though…"

"Not to worry," Max said. "If I'm correct, your species has the Hydration special ability, which means you recover from ill effects when submerged in water, so…Hubie? Gilbert? Sapphire?"

The three Water Pokémon nodded. "On it!" Gilbert said. He inhaled, and then spat a Water Gun at the Phione. Hubie and Sapphire joined in with some Bubbles.

The water splashed against the Phione, and wherever the liquid touched, his wounds disappeared. "Ahhhh, that's much better," the Phione said in relief once he was back to his pristine blue original self. "Thank you very much!"

"No problem, it was the least we could do for causing all those in the first place," Collette said.

"Still can't believe we did that…" George muttered in embarrassment.

Matthias sighed. "I guess we still have a long way to go before we become top Rescue Teams like our parents and mentors…"

Pichu nodded sadly. "Yeah…oh well. In the meantime, let's help you get your brother or sister back. Er…which is it, by the way?"

"Oh, we go either way," the Phione said. "Much like the Treecko said."

"Ah," Pichu said. "Then you're…"

"Neutral at the moment," the Phione said.

"…Right…" Pichu said slowly, sweatdropping.

"Um…let's go get that egg then, shall we?" Collette said loudly.

"Uh, yes, let's," Gilbert said quickly, glad for the redirect.

They set off after Mimi. They didn't have to go very far, she'd only retreated a few dozen meters down the beach and had stuffed the Phione egg into her rubbery pouch, and was dancing around with it happily. When she saw the others approaching with the Phione, though, she yelped in alarm and started to run away. "Mimi, wait!" Sapphire called. "We need to talk to you!"

"No! You want to take Mimi's egg from Mimi and give it to weird blue Pokémon!" Mimi shrieked, covering the egg with her arms to shield it from them. "Mimi will not give it to you!"

"But Mimi, that egg doesn't belong to you, it belongs to him!...her. It. Whatever," Matthias said.

"Nuh-uh! Mimi found it first. Finders keepers!" Mimi said stubbornly.

"What are you even going to do with that thing, anyway? You're too young to have a baby!" Gilbert said.

"Not true! Mimi is responsible enough for baby. Mimi care for unhatched sisters at Pokémon Center all the time. Mimi is ready to be Mommy to strong baby Mimi can raise to be badass womon warrior like Mimi!" Mimi said proudly, causing the others to sweatdrop.

"Well, you have to admire her spirit," Max admitted.

"Gilbert-kun, give me a baby! I wanna be a Mommy too!" Kira declared.

The Squirtle stared at her in disbelief. "You have _got_ to be kidding me."

"Please, Mimi, I beg of you, give the egg back!" the Phione pleaded. "Just like you're responsible for caring for your siblings, so am I! That egg holds the last of my siblings that my Papa made before being karmically devoured by his mother and reborn as a new egg. How can I face the others if I tell them that I lost it?"

Mimi paused at this. "…This egg is your brother or sister?"

"Yes!" the Phione said.

Mimi frowned. "If you were supposed to take care of it, then why did Mimi find it washed up and alone on the beach? Some caretaker you are!"

As the Phione flinched, Collette scolded her. "Mimi! That was uncalled for!"

"Yeah, it wasn't…um…its fault, there was a strong current coming into the bay, and it lost its grip," Hubie said.

"Mimi, you've dropped eggs before. You know how easy it is to slip up," Sapphire said.

Mimi's pigtail drooped. "Those were accidents…and Mimi always _caught_ the eggs…"

"Yes, but you know that accidents do happen," Max said.

"And an accident is what happened to Phione," Torch said.

"And while I'm sure it's thankful that you've been keeping a close eye on it, it really needs it back," Matthias said.

Junior nodded. "Yeah, you've never tried to keep any of the eggs you eggsat for yourself, have you? So why take this one? We _know_ you're not an egg thief."

Mimi sagged. "…Mimi knows Mimi can't keep the egg. Mimi just wanted to be like Mommy. Mommy is the best womon Mimi knows, and even though Mimi doesn't want to be a Nurse like her, Mimi still wants to be as good a Mommy as she is someday."

"And you will be, someday," Collette said kindly. "But not right now. So can you please give back the egg?"

Mimi sighed. "Okay. Mimi will give back the egg." She reluctantly took it out of the pouch and handed it to Hubie, who was the closest. "But take better care of it, okay?"

"No problem," the Phione said, opening his arms to receive the egg from Hubie. He frowned when he saw the Piplup was frozen in place. "Uh, what's the matter?"

"Uh oh," George said in alarm, recognizing the look in his friend's eyes. "He's having another Dimensional Scream!"

"I wonder what it is this time…" Sapphire murmured.

"Maybe the baby Gilbert-kun and I will have someday?" Kira cried hopefully. Gilbert stared at her incredulously.

What Hubie actually saw was something else entirely.

"_Heh-heh-heh! Thanks for the egg!" a Zubat screeched, swooping down and snatching the egg from Hubie's flippers._

_The Phione gasped in horror. "No, the egg!"_

Hubie blinked, snapping out of it. "Guys, someone's going to steal the egg!"

"Heh-heh-heh! Thanks for the egg!" a Zubat screeched, swooping down and snatching the egg from Hubie's flippers.

The Phione gasped in horror. "No, the egg!"

George sweatdropped. "Well, that was helpful."

"Useless-ass psychic powers!" the Piplup swore.

The Zubat deposited the egg at the paws of a large and very noxious Skuntank and Koffing nearby. "Heh-heh-heh! Here you go, boss!"

The Skuntank grinned. "Chaw-haw-haw! Excellent! This is just the sort of thing we've been looking for! An egg as rare as this should fetch quite the profit, don't you think?"

"Whoa-ho-ho! It'll be our biggest haul yet!" the Koffing agreed. "And then Team Skull will be rolling in the Poké!"

Junior growled. "Team Skull…I _thought _I recognized that stench…"

"Who are they?" asked the confused Phione.

"Team Skull, the local bullies," Kira explained.

"While most Rescue Teams wear the badge and scarf to help people, and others do it to explore distant places, find treasure, or have adventures, some like these guys just want to do it for power," George said angrily.

"When Team Meanies reformed and became Team Nightshade, Team Skull stepped up to take their place…and they're worse than those three ever were!" Sapphire said.

Max wrinkled his nose in disgust. "And smellier, too."

"Heh-heh-heh! Bodily hygiene is for posers!" the Zubat, Chao, snickered.

"And it's not something we can really help, anyway, since Jeremiah and I are naturally smelly Pokémon," the Koffing, Smogon, lamented.

"Now if you'll excuse us, we'll just be taking this egg and going on our way," the Skuntank, Jeremiah, said, taking the egg firmly between his paws.

The Phione gasped. "No, don't!"

The kids tensed, preparing for battle. "Give that back, Team Skull!" Pichu declared, brandishing his sword.

"Yeah, that egg doesn't belong to you!" Collette agreed.

"Give it back, or else we'll take it from you by force!" Gilbert warned the trio.

"Mimi will pound you if you don't give it back!" Mimi roared, reaching into the ground and startling everyone by tearing an enormous boulder twenty times her size out of the sand and raising it over her head. "And tell Mommy not to patch you up afterwards!"

Team Skull's eyes bulged in alarm when they saw the size of Mimi's boulder. "Yikes! I'd forgotten how strong she was…" Jeremiah murmured.

"Looks like we're outnumbered, boss. Does that mean we should use…" Smogon started.

"_It?"_ Chao asked hopefully.

The Skuntank grinned sinisterly. "Chaw-haw-haw…sure, why not? Might as well put these brats in their place and show them what happens to those who oppose Team Skull!"

The kids hesitated. "Um, what's 'it?'" Matthias asked.

"I don't know, but it doesn't sound good…" Junior murmured.

He was right. It wasn't. "Team Skull's Super-Stinky Special Strike, start!" Team Skull declared, striking a strange pose.

"Heh-heh-heh! A rather _breezy_ day, isn't it?" Chao cackled, flapping his wings and generating a powerful Gust that buffeted the kids. They braced themselves against the strong wind.

"What, so you're going to blow your hot air at us? Is that all you got?" Torch taunted as he staggered forward, trying to fight against the wind.

"Whoa-ho-ho! No, that was just the warm-up for _this!_" Smogon said as he expanded and Jeremiah pointed the tip of his tail at them.

Everyone's eyes widened in horror. "Oh, crap!" Hubie cried.

"Everybody, run!" Collete screamed, ceasing her fight against the Gust and trying to fly away.

Frantic, the others tried to follow suit, except for the Phione, who had no idea what was going on. "Where are you going? I don't understand, why are you running-"

He got his answer when Smogon and Jeremiah released an unbelievably foul cloud of noxious gas that was blown right towards him and the others thanks to Chao's Gust. The cloud of pure stink engulfed them, filling their noses and sticking to their lungs and causing their eyes to water. They collapsed to the ground in fits, the smell so bad they started choking, hacking and gasping as the Poisonous trio cackled malevolently. "Heh-heh-heh! That'll show them!" Chao snickered.

"Whoa-ho-ho! They won't be bothering us anytime soon! It'll take a million showers to get that odor off of them!" Smogon boasted.

"Chaw-haw-haw! Nice show, boys! Now let's get out of here while the getting's good! Team Skull, exit stage left!" Jeremiah announced. With the egg in tow, the bullies scurried away…in the direction of stage right. They never had been good at theater…

Eventually, the cloud of gas dissipated, but the stench clung to the bodies of the thirteen young Pokémon, and they lay heaving and vomiting on the ground, fluid running from their eyes and nostrils as they struggled to drawn clean air into their lungs. "Can't…breathe…" Collette gasped.

"Smells…so…_bad,_" Sapphire moaned.

"You…have it easy…you don't have a nose…like mine!" Junior hacked, rolling around in pain.

"This…stinks!" George coughed.

"Thanks for the…brilliant observation…Captain Obvious!" Hubie snapped before throwing up.

"Gilbert-kun…help me!" Kira wailed. Gilbert responded by throwing up on her. "…_That's not helping!"_ she shrieked, dots swirling at the corners of her vision as the stench and loss of breath came close to knocking her out.

"So bad…tail almost going out…" Torch rasped, the flame on his tail having been almost completely smothered by the gas.

"Mommy…heeeeelp…" Mimi cried weakly.

"No…the egg…come back…come…back…" the Phione moaned before passing out, futilely reaching out towards the fleeing bullies.

"That…could have gone…better," Max wheezed.

"I think…we may need to reconsider…our Team name," Matthias groaned.

"To Team…Utter Losers? I had…the same…idea…" Pichu hacked. He stared up at the sky, head spinning. "This was supposed to be…our big break…not…an utter failure…" His eyes started drooping. "Arceus, we…suck…" Overwhelmed, he fainted. The others soon joined him in blissful if smelly unconsciousness.

They were found on the beach a few hours later by their worried parents, and taken back to the Pokémon Center to be nursed back to health…

After receiving a bath of Tamato juice on the beach, that is. If that kind of stink was allowed in the climate-controlled Center, it would _never_ get out!

…

Meanwhile, in Almiore…

Banding together for their first true battle as a team, Team Nightshade fought valiantly against the mysterious Riolu and her army of mummies. They watched each other's backs, helping one another when it looked as if one of their friends was going to fall at the hands of one of the undead. They combined their attacks in new and novel ways, creating powerful new moves which crushed their opponents. They relied on the power of friendship and teamwork, trusting in one another and fighting with all their heart.

They also lost miserably. But really, did you expect anything less?

"Well, this sucks," Mary said flatly. She and the rest of the defeated team were forced on their knees before the scythe-wielding Riolu, several mummies gripping each limb and holding claws and blades to their throats to keep them from struggling. She sighed. "Somehow, I knew this was going to happen…"

"You know, when I decided to join your team, I never really expected something like this to happen," Jerry commented unhappily.

Maren sighed. "Tell me about it…every day, it's another thing I was never taught how to deal with. Lava monsters, a two-headed snake, racing, demons, and now this! What's next, aliens?"

"Considering our luck, and assuming we don't die here, I wouldn't be surprised," Mary said.

"I don't believe it," said an incredulous Gary, unable to believe they'd been defeated. "I thought…I thought we'd really changed! I thought we were going to win! I mean, after that big epiphany back in Pueltown, and our victory against Team Perdition…how could we have lost? And to a bunch of zombies, the weakest of the undead at that!"

"They're mummiesss, not zzzombiesss," Evan corrected him.

"What difference does it make?" Gary snapped.

"Mummiesss are ssstronger than zzzombiesss," Evan said. "The procccesss usssed to dry them out and keep them from rotting alssso makesss them tougher and occasssionally endowsss them with sssupernatural powersss, depending on the ssspellsss usssed by the mummifiersss."

"…Well, _now_ you tell me!" Gary groaned.

"I don't understand…how could this have happened?" Janine demanded angrily, struggling against the dozen or so mummies trying to pin her down and ignoring their attempts to force her to calm down. "I am an elite ninja of the Berry Kingdom, daughter of the great Koga! How could I be defeated like this?"

"Well, mummiesss _are_ ssstronger than zzzombiesss," Evan repeated. "And there were a lot of them, at leassst a hundred or more."

"I don't care if they numbered _five_ hundred, one ninja should have been enough to handle all of them!" Janine insisted.

"Ah, and that'sss why you've lossst!" Evan said.

"…What?" asked the confused Janine.

"It'sss the law of conssservation of ninjutsssu," Evan explained. "A sssingle ninja isss an unssstoppable badasss fighting machine! But when you have an army of ninjasss, the badasssery and ninjanesss isss evenly dissstributed among them, making each individual ninja far weaker than they would be on their own."

Janine stared at him for a long, long time. "Evan, that is the stupidest thing I have ever heard, and considering nearly everything else that's come from your mouth, that's saying something."

"Especially since you seem to have forgotten that Janine's the _only ninja here_, so even if this Taurosshit law of yours existed, it wouldn't effect her," Maren said.

Evan shook his head. "Nuh-uh, the ressst of usss count too. Sssince ssshe'sss part of a team now rather than a sssolo act, her effectivenesss hasss gone to the Abysss. That may be why we lossst, too…there'sss jussst too many of usss on the team now."

"Oh, for the love of…" Janine swore angrily.

"Evan, there's another flaw in your logic," Mary said in exasperation. "There's an army of mummies, more of them than there are of us, and they managed to win. Doesn't that disprove this 'law' of yours?"

"…Huh. That'sss a good point," Evan admitted. He frowned. "Unlesss…a sssingle mummy isss ssso ssstrong that even ssspreading that power out to a hundred mummiesss isss too much to handle! It'sss a good thing there were ssso many of them, or we'd have been in _real_ trouble!"

If they hadn't been restrained, they would have facefaulted. "Evan, there are times when I wish I could kill you," Gary said wearily.

"I shall grant that wish soon enough," the Riolu promised, raising her scythe. "Soon, all of you shall be given the gift of blessed undeath…" She scowled. "A gift that has so far eluded me…"

"Why exactly are you so obsessed with being undead?" asked a confused Jerry.

"So much that you think it's actually a good thing?" Maren added.

"…Hey, _I'm_ undead and I have no problem with it," Gary said, offended.

"Nor should you, for being undead is wonderful! Or so I believe, since I am as yet unable to obtain it," the Riolu sighed wistfully. "All living things fear death, and many go to extravagant extremes to try to put it off, to live forever. But I have been raised among death, with Ghosts as my family, mummies and zombies my playmates, skeletons and things long ceased breathing my closest friends and confidants. As such, I have no fear of it, and see a greater truth: that those who seek immortality are looking in the wrong place. Death is inevitable and comes to all creatures, but on the other side of death is _true_ eternity, as a spirit or one of the myriad kinds of undead, who may endure forever unless some misguided and foolish individual destroys them."

"…Huh. That…actually makes some kind of sense," Gary was forced to admit. "Being undead's pretty cool. It's nice not having to worry about growing old or fat or having to go to the bathroom or dying from food going down the wrong pipe, like I kind of expect to happen to Evan one of these days."

"Yeah, me too," Evan said.

"Pah! What nonsense. As a ninja, I do not fear death, but also have no desire to live forever. I see no appeal in this flawed reasoning," Janine said scornfully.

"But Janine, isn't your brother a Ghost?" Maren pointed out. "And because of your link to him, can't you live pretty much forever?"

"…Yes, well, _he's_ a Ghost, but I'm not," Janine muttered petulantly. Maren sweatdropped.

"So you were raised by Ghosts, and because of that, you think being undead is…what, the way everyone should be, or something like that?" Jerry asked.

The Riolu nodded. "Essentially, yes."

"Then…why haven't you just killed yourself and gotten it over with?" Mary asked.

"That would do no good. I am a user of Aura, and as such am denied undeath," the Riolu said bitterly. "For whatever reason, those in whose veins the power of Aura flows cannot become Ghosts or other kind of undead. They just…die, their spirit going somewhere that we cannot follow nor return from. I have been seeking a way to avoid this so that I, too, may gain true immortality and remain among my loved ones forever, but so far all my efforts have failed."

"Oh," Mary said.

"I guess that's…kind of touching," Jerry said.

"Yes, if you weren't going to kill us!" Gary growled.

"I will spare your existence, honored spirit, if you agree to dwell here among my kindred for all time," the Riolu offered. "We always have room for one more in our humble abode."

"What, and let my friends die? No way!" Gary snarled.

"They would still be with you," the Riolu pointed out. "Just…not quite in the forms you are familiar with. Once I kill them, they will be mummified, so that their spirits will remain with us for all time. If you join us, you will never leave their side. If not…I will be forced to dispatch you from this plane permanently."

Gary blinked. "What? You're asking me to betray my friends? No way! We may not exactly be the best or the closest, but…we're a team, and we stick together! If they die, then so do I! We'll all go to the beyond together!"

"That's…that's really sweet, Gary," said an amazed Jerry.

"Yes, just one problem," Maren said. "You _are_ aware that if we all die, we won't be joining you, since we'll be turned into mummies while you pass over, right?"

"Yeah, we'll all ssstay here," Evan said sadly. "Without you…" He perked up. "Which might not be a bad thing, actually." Mary kicked him. "Ow! What, you were thinking it too!"

"No I wasn't," Mary said angrily. She had, in fact, been shocked at the prospect of life (or unlife? Undeath? What was the proper term?) without Gary. On the plus side, if her skin was dried out maybe she'd lose all that weight in her hips…

"I was," Janine said helpfully.

Gary paused. "Oh. Um…can I have a do-over? Although I'm starting to wonder why I'd want to hang out with these guys to begin with…" The others sweatdropped.

"No," the Riolu said, beckoning at something in the shadows. "You have made your choice, and now you must face the consequences…_all_ of you. Come forth, Sister Nefertiti, and add these sacks of flesh to our family."

"With pleasure, sister," what looked like a blue and yellow sarcophagus hissed as it floated into view. It had menacing red eyes, four ebony hands made of shadows growing from its sides, a simply designed face on its forehead, and white sharp fangs forming a taunting smile.

"Yipe! What kind of Pokémon is that?" asked the alarmed Jerry.

"I don't think I've ever seen anything like it before," said a mystified Maren.

"Nor I," Janine agreed.

"It's…kind of creepy…" Mary murmured.

"It looks like something out of some horror movie set in Pokégypt," Gary agreed. "Evan, I don't suppose you'd happen to know what it is?"

"Um…I think it'sss sssome kind of living sssarcophagusss that guardsss tombsss and cursssesss intrudersss and the like, but itsss name essscapesss me," Evan apologized. "Itsss diet consssistsss of gold and tomb robbersss, and it can turn people into mummiesss with a sssingle touch!"

"That is correct," the horrible animated coffin said, raising its four arms. "As you shall observe for yourselves firsthand…" Its shadowy limbs wavered and stretched towards them as the captives watched in horror and trepidation.

"Well, guys, if this is the last time I ever see you, I'd like you to know it's been an hon…it's been fu…it's been an…interesting experience," Gary managed to say.

"Yeah, that's pretty much how I'd describe it, too," Maren said.

"Except that I would have used less polite terms," Janine said.

"I can't believe thisss isss really the end…Now I'm never gonna sssee Hissssa again," Evan moaned piteously.

"Or my Dad," Jerry agreed, his creepy second head-thing drooping in despair. "This is not how I pictured all this turning out…"

"I don't think any of us did," Maren said sadly.

"Gary," Mary said suddenly. "Since we're about to die, there's something I have to tell you."

Gary smiled. "I know, Mary. I know."

Her eyes widened in astonishment. "You do?"

Gary nodded. "Yeah, it was obvious really…I've known for a long time now."

She blushed. "What…what gave it away?"

"The fact that I saw you do it," Gary said.

Mary blinked. "Huh?"

"I watched you make the lunches for the last few days while invisible. I know you've been putting more jam on your sandwiches than anyone else's, you jam Grumpig!" Gary said.

"Ssshe _what?_" Evan yelled angrily.

"If we weren't both about to die, I'd kill you," Janine said furiously. "Actually, I may do it anyway, once we're both mummies! A ninja mummy is still stronger than a martial artist mummy any day of the week!"

"…Aren't you overreacting a little?" Jerry asked with a sweatdrop.

"I really like my jam," Janine said curtly.

Maren nodded. "Yes, sometimes she doesn't even bother putting it on bread…of course, there are…_alternative_ surfaces she's willing to apply it to…" She blushed, and everyone else blanched and stared at her and Janine in disgust.

Mary's eye twitched. "But that…that isn't…that wasn't what I was trying to…oh, forget it, it doesn't even matter anymore."

"Okay," Gary said, putting it out of his mind. The Medicham ground her teeth in frustration.

The Riolu scratched her skull helmet. "…Ooookay. Nefertiti, could you maybe hurry it up a little? Maybe when their brains have been dried up they'll be less…"

"Stupid?" the sarcophagus said.

"Yes, that," the Riolu said.

"On it," Nefertiti said. Her hands extended, black palms inches from the faces of her victims…

When somebody shouted, "Wait!"

Nefertiti and the Riolu paused and turned as an elderly Gengar materialized behind them. Evan sighed in relief. "Oh thank goodnesss, it'sss a deusss exxx machina, right when we needed one!"

"What makes you think we're saved?" Mary asked skeptically.

"Becaussse that sssort of thing isss _alwaysss_ what happensss right at the nick of time in sssituationsss like the one we're in!" Evan said.

"How do you know he isn't here to help them kill us?" Jerry asked.

"Which, considering our luck, is not that unlikely a possibility," Maren said.

"A 'diabolus ex machina,' if you will?" Janine said.

Evan hesitated. "Well…oh, crap, we're ssstill ssscrewed, aren't we?"

Surprisingly, they weren't. "Grandfather, what is it?" the Riolu asked, bowing her head respectfully. "We were about to add these trespassers to the family. Did you wish to assist us in facilitating their crossing over?"

The Gengar shook his head. "No…I came to stop you before you did something rash. You must release these Pokémon at once. They are not to be harmed."

"What?" Nefertiti and the Riolu cried incredulously as Team Nightshade sagged in relief.

"Oh, thank goodness!" Gary said.

Jerry nodded. "Yeah, I don't think I'm cut out to be a mummy. I'm already small enough as is, if I became dried fruit I'd probably disappear from view for good." He wiggled his second head and grimaced. "And I'd be stuck with this thing for all eternity…"

"We're…saved? Well, I guess you were right, Evan!" said an amazed Mary, hardly believing she was speaking those words.

"Well, ssstassstically ssspeaking it had to happen sssooner or later," he said smugly.

"Still, knowing us we've probably been spared one horrible fate for an even worse one further down the road," Maren said pessimistically.

"I welcome it as I would welcome any other threat that seeks to kill you or I…with knives," Janine said, causing the Togetic to smile.

"But…but Grandfather, why?" the Riolu demanded.

Nefertiti nodded. "Yes, it is our task to slay any intruder who seeks to desecrate these ruins, with no exceptions!"

"No exceptions but one," the Gengar corrected. He pointed to the thick stone slab covering the entrance to the ruins. "Or do you not see? They are the ones spoken of in prophecy! The ones who shall bring about the resurrection of Lemewria!"

"What?" the Riolu concentrated her Aura, causing it to flare up around her and produce an eerie glow that better illuminated the carvings on the block. Much to her astonishment, and that of Team Nightshade, the most prominent carving on the stone was a worn but still visible relief of what looked like Gary, Mary, Evan, Jerry, Maren, and Janine dancing beneath what looked like some sort of floating island with rays of light shooting out from it.

"It…it cannot be!" Nefertiti stammered in disbelief.

"No way…is that…us?" whispered a shocked Mary.

"Unbelievable…" murmured Jerry.

"Oh boy oh boy oh boy! Gary, do you know what thisss meansss?" Evan hissed excitedly.

Gary nodded eagerly. "Yeah…we're finally in the big leagues!"

"Uh, how do you get that?" asked a confused Maren.

"All the greatest and most legendary heroes have prophecies foretelling how they're gonna save the world! Ash got one…and if we have one too, that means we may actually have a chance of becoming as good as Team Aurabolt!" Gary said gleefully.

"Wouldn't any prophecy featuring _us_ be a prophecy of doom, though?" Mary asked.

"Oh, most of them are," Gary said. "A great disaster for a hero to stop!"

"I think what she means is, how do you know it's not a disaster _we_ cause?" Janine asked.

Gary paused. "Um…oh. That is a very good point."

"And one you do not have to worry about," the elder Gengar said, much to Gary's relief. "The prophecy foretells of a group of heroes matching your description who will cause the lost land of Lemewria to rise from its watery grave, leading to the beginning of a new era of limitless wonders and prosperity!"

"Okay, that _does_ actually sound kind of good," Maren admitted.

"Are you sure you've got the right Pokémon?" Janine asked cynically.

"Positively! You match the description of the foreordained heroes to a tee!" The Gengar frowned. "Though the Medicham's hips are a lot chubbier than I expected."

"Yeah, we've been telling her to lay off the carbsss for agesss, but ssshe jussst will not lisssten," Evan said, shaking his head pityingly. Mary's eye twitched.

"If we are these legendaries heroes you've been waiting for, then I don't suppose you could have your friends here let go of us?" Jerry asked hopefully.

"What? Oh, um, of course. Release them!" the Riolu ordered, eyes glowing. The mummies glanced at each other, shrugged, and let go of Team Nightshade, allowing the Pokémon back on their feet, rubbing their chafed arms and shoulders to try and get the gross feeling of being touched by shambling undead horrors off of them. The Riolu retracted and holstered her scythe, then bowed in apology. "I am sorry for my error in judgment. I did not realize you were the vaunted personages we have been waiting for. You have been anticipated for a very long time."

"Well…um…don't let it happen again!" Gary said uncertainly.

"Yeah, or we'll…we'll…um…not fulfill the prophecccy, and let Lemewria rot on the bottom of the occcean! Yeah…" Evan threatened lamely.

"What _is_ Lemewria, anyway?" Jerry asked.

"The greatest civilization the world has ever known…a lost land that once existed high above the clouds, until its tragic demise…but that is a story that can wait for later," the Gengar said. He gestured to the slab, eyes glowing as he used Psychic to push it aside with the power of his mind, revealing a stairway descending into darkness. "Come inside, there is much that we must tell you, and only so much time to tell it in!"

"Uh, okay," Gary said.

"Will you give us the Compass piece we came for?" Maren asked hopefully.

"Yes," the Gengar said.

"And sssome food?" Evan asked hopefully.

"Of course!" the Gengar said.

"Are you sure you want to eat whatever ghouls like these are offering?" Jerry murmured.

Evan shrugged. "Hey, I'll try anything onccce."

"And some treasure?" Mary asked hopefully.

"No," the Gengar said sternly.

Mary sighed. "Oh well, worth a try."

"This isn't some sort of trick to make us lower our guard so you can kill us in close quarters, is it?" Janine asked suspiciously.

"No," the Gengar said.

"Just making sure," the Ninjask said.

"Well, I suppose it would be nice to get what we came for without much hassle for a change…or anyone swearing oaths of eternal vengeance against us," Maren said. "So…let's give this a shot."

"Indeed. For as long as you are here, O chosen ones, our home is as your own," the Riolu said.

"Does that mean we're going to have to sleep in coffins like you do?" Jerry asked suspiciously.

The Riolu frowned. "What? No, of course not. Don't be preposterous."

"Yes, she sleeps on top of them. Don't want to disturb the occupants, after all," Nefertiti said. The others sweatdropped.

"Come," the Gengar said again, gesturing to the stairs. "We shall explain everything inside."

Gary shrugged. "Well, okay…guess we should go fulfill our destiny or something."

"It'sss ssso cool that we actually _have_ a dessstiny!" Evan gushed. "Which isss a lot better than what we were before!"

"Before we were a group of antisocial misfits struggling to achieve some good to counterbalance the shitstorm of disasters we cause all around us," Mary said skeptically. "How is this better?"

"Becaussse now we're a group of antisssocial misssfitsss ssstruggling to achieve sssome good to counterbalanccce the ssshitssstorm of disssassstersss we caussse all around usss with a _dessstiny!_" Evan said firmly. "Which makesss a world of differenccce!" Mary sweatdropped.

Deciding to vacate the eerie mummy-filled plateau for the even eerier undead-riddled crypt below, Team Nightshade reluctantly followed the Gengar and Riolu into the darkness. Nefertiti took up the rear after sending the mummies back to their graves, pausing to look skeptically at the image on the big slab. "You know, I was expecting someone a lot more heroic."

With a shrug, she went down the stairs, pulling the slab back over the entrance behind her and once more sealing the ruins from the outside world, the stone clicking into place with the chilling finality of death itself.

…

Meanwhile, in Mahjong City…

Both Mewgle and James drew five cards from their deck and glanced at their hands. Mewgle grinned when he saw his cards, knowing that he had already won, James just didn't know it yet. Oblivious to his fate, James said, "As the challenger, I go first! I lay down two face-down cards and summon Clown Lee in Defense Mode!" Two face-down cards appeared on his side of the field, along with a Mr. Mime dressed like a clown (more so than usual, anyway), who promptly knelt, crossed its arms, and turned blue. A holographic display hovering next to it said it had 300 ATK points and 2500 DEF points. _There, that should buy me a little time to get a better hand…_ James thought to himself.

"I'm guessing you have a Clown deck?" Mewgle scoffed. "Hmmph, it figures. You may regret using something so corny and useless once you see the kind of heat _I'm_ packing!"

"There's nothing wrong with using a Clown deck!" James said stubbornly.

"Aside from the fact that it makes you look like an idiot? More than usual, anyway," Jessie said.

James sweatdropped. "Aren't you supposed to be rooting _for_ me?"

"Sorry, positive comments towards anyone who isn't me are hard for me to do," Jessie said.

"That's one of the most wonderful things about you, Miss Jessie!" Buzz said admiringly.

She stared at him. "…Right…"

Mewgle rolled his eyes. "You guys are such losers…anyway, I play the Spell Summoner's Horn!" A card with the image of a horn growing from a blue-haired girl's forehead appeared on the field and started glowing. "With this, I can summon two high-leveled monsters from my deck directly to the field, and I choose Zeedeath—Emissary of the Void and Storm of Light—Envoy of the Void!" The card shimmered and vanished, and two of the monsters he had used to slaughter the Duelists from before appeared in a flash of light…

Holding hands. "Awwww, they're in love!" James squealed. "I always knew there was something between them!"

"Oh, you ship them too?" Mewgle asked.

"Definitely! They're clearly meant for each other!" James said.

Mewgle nodded. "Totally, what with their always rambling about the Void and how all things must be consumed by it and all. They're two of a kind!"

"Definitely!" James agreed.

Jessie sweatdropped. "…They're commiserating over a pairing they both support?"

"Well, at least Mewgle hasn't killed anyone yet," Buzz said optimistically.

Naturally, that wasn't going to last long. "Next, I play the Field Spell, Casinotropolis!" Mewgle said, slotting a card into his Disk. The room shook, and gaudily-colored holographic buildings covered in neon appeared all around them. The floor shimmered and turned into a craps table. A big spinning roulette wheel materialized overhead, and poker chips, dice, and cards whirled around it. Giant slot machines popped up on all sides, levers pulling themselves and causing their wheels to spin wildly, colorful images flickering across their faces.

"Oooh…" James said, marveled by the light show.

"It's magnificent! I don't suppose we could get any money here, could we?" Jessie asked greedily, Poké signs appearing in her eyes.

Buzz flew over to one of the slot machines and pulled the lever. The wheels spun and clicked into place, revealing three Mewgle faces sticking their tongues out at him. The machine exploded, sending him flying. "Apparently not," he coughed as he smashed into the floor.

"And now that I have a Field Spell and two monsters…I sacrifice Zeedeath—Emissary of the Void and Storm of Light—Envoy of the Void to summon my ultimate monster…Leviathan the Devourer!" Mewgle declared, holding up his Leviathan card, which started pulsating ominously.

James gasped in horror. "What? On the first turn?"

"That's right, Jimmy-boy! Looks like you're going to be reunited with Mickey sooner than you thought!" Mewgle said with a cruel grin as he set the card on his Disk, causing Zeedeath and Storm of Light to burst into flames and vanish in a scream of pure agony, never letting go of each other as they disappeared. The mark on Mewgle's chest began glowing, and the room, no, the entire _city_ began to shake.

Outside, the citizens looked up in horror as a giant spiky demonic heart descended from the dark clouds overhead. The Pokémon screamed and turned into balls of light which flew upward and were absorbed into the giant organ, every living creature within the city dying in seconds. The heart started beating, its pace slow at first but rapidly picking up speed, becoming enveloped in a dark purple glow and transforming into a pillar of light which smashed into the city, cracking the streets and leveling buildings as the mighty Leviathan erupted from beneath the ground, rearing its head and bellowing so loudly that almost every window within several miles shattered, and most of the skyscrapers nearby crumbled to the ground.

As the shaking subsided, Team Rocket looked around in confusion and dismay. "I-I don't understand…what just happened?" Jessie asked.

"Where's Leviathan?" James asked, noticing that Mewgle's field was empty.

"Look up," Mewgle said with an amused grin on his face.

James did. He soon wished he hadn't, because staring back at him through the glass ceiling of the convention hall was one of Leviathan's enormous yellow eyes. He screamed at the top of his lungs and soiled himself, and Leviathan screamed back, rearing back its head then shoving its snout into the ceiling, shattering it and causing broken glass to fall all over the place as it managed to fit the tip of its nose and mouth into the room, its howls the shrieking of millions of damned souls. "Oh…oh my…" Jessie whispered, nearly falling to the floor in a faint.

"It's…it's even bigger than I remembered…" Buzz whispered.

"The more souls Leviathan devours, the larger and stronger it becomes," Mewgle said gleefully. "And it just feasted on the _thousands_ of souls living in Mahjong City. Congratulations, James, by challenging me to a Duel, you condemned everyone in this city to an eternity of torture!"

"N-no! That…that's not what I wanted!" James protested, face going pale in horror.

"We don't always get what we want," Mewgle said. "But you're about to…you wanted to be reunited with Mickey, didn't you? Well, he's right here. Leviathan, has he got anything to say to his boyfriend and teammates?"

Leviathan opened its jaws a fraction, and a spine-chilling scream was emitted from its jaws, the scream of a being suffering more pain and torment than the mortal mind could fathom, its soul constantly being ripped to shreds and forcibly shoved back together as it was eternally digested by the malefic enzymes in Leviathan's belly. It was the scream of Mickey. "Mickey!" James cried, recognizing the sound of his lover's voice. "MICKEY!"

"Sorry, I don't think he can hear you right now," Mewgle said as Leviathan closed its mouth again. "You know, what with being in so much agony that he's probably gone insane several times over. I'm not sure if he even remembers who you are, let alone who _he _is. But don't worry, you'll be with him soon enough…and then you'll both suffer together forever. Isn't that romantic? It's exactly like being married!"

"You…y-you are…" James whispered, trembling with equal parts rage and terror.

"A monster? Pure evil? Yes, I know, I've heard it all before," Mewgle said dismissively. "I doubt there's an original thing in your vocabulary that you could call me, Jimmy-boy. Not that you'll be needing it for much longer. Allow me to give you another taste of what you're in for…Leviathan! It's feeding time!"

Leviathan opened its mouth a fraction and inhaled, creating a great suction that pulled at the tiny, frail Pokémon on the ground below. Jessie and Buzz had to flap frantically to keep from getting sucked into the beast's jaws, and James was able to cling to the corpse of a particularly heavy Rhydon Duelist to keep from getting swallowed up by Leviathan. Clown Lee, on the other hand, was not quite so lucky. With a cry of fright, he was yanked off the floor and sent flying into Leviathan's maw. "No, my clown!" James cried as the beast's jaws slammed shut on his monster, destroying it. "What have you done?"

"On the turn it's summoned, Leviathan devours all monsters on the field and absorbs their attack points," Mewgle said. A holographic display appeared next to Leviathan with 0 ATK and infinite defense. As the Rockets watched, the ATK rose to 300.

"Infinite defense? That can't be possible, can it?" wondered a perplexed Buzz.

"Who cares? It's in attack mode now, and only has 300 points," Jessie realized. "James can beat that easily, can't he?"

"I can…" James murmured, his confidence starting to rise again. He frowned. "Assuming it doesn't have any other surprises in store."

"Oh, it does, James…in _spades_," Mewgle sneered. As if on cue, a number of spade cards floated down to him. He frowned. "No, not you, I meant…oh, go away." He shooed them off.

_It's my turn now…_ James thought to himself, narrowing his eyes. _Leviathan's big and scary, but…if it only has 300 points, maybe I still have a chance to win this! I just need to get the right hand…Heart of the Cards, I've never believed in you before, but if you exist, guide me!_ He closed his eyes, put a hand on his deck, and concentrated. Taking a deep breath, he drew in one swift motion, held the card dramatically away from him, and then flipped it over to see what it was. His eyes lit up in joy. _Yes!_ "I summon Gemini Clown Zorn!" James said, slotting a card in and causing a rather ugly Minun in a jester costume to appear on the field. "And due to its special effect, I can summon its twin, Gemini Clown Thorn!" There was a flash of light, and an equally ugly Plusle in a jester costume appeared. "Next, I use Polymerization!" he cried, slapping the card he'd just drawn onto his Disk, causing a vortex to appear behind the clowns that sucked both of them up. "And with it, I combine Zorn and Thorn to create…" There was a burst of light, and the vortex expelled a grotesque vaguely humanoid monster with Kingler-like pincers, a pair of bladed insect arms growing from its waist, and two demonic heads resembling Zorn and Thorn's. "MultiGemini, the Demon Clown!" A holographic display popped up, indicating the gruesome monster had an ATK of 1800 and a DEF of 3000.

Jessie recoiled. "Gah! It's things like that that make me realize why some people are so terrified of clowns!"

"Like me," Buzz said. "And it's called coulrophobia, by the way."

Jessie blinked. "You're afraid of clowns?"

"Yes," said Buzz.

"Then why aren't you afraid of James?" Jessie asked.

"Miss Jessie, who could possibly be afraid of James?" Buzz asked.

Mewgle burst into cruel laughter, and James's eye twitched. "Moving on…I also summon to the field Ogog, the Mimic Master!" A strange Mr. Mime enshrouded in garishly colored garments of numerous fabrics and styles appeared next to MultiGemini. A holographic display showed it had an ATK of 0 and a DEF of 0. "And thanks to his special ability, he can copy the ATK, DEF, and special effects of any of my monsters, and I choose MultiGemini!" Ogog's display changed to show the same stats as the hideous two-headed clown next to him. "And now…I'll have them attack! Since they have higher ATK points than Leviathan, the first blow should destroy it, and the second one should almost completely deplete your life points!"

"Way to go, James!" Jessie cried.

"We knew you could do it!" Buzz lied.

Mewgle started. "Wait, what?"

"Go, MultiGemini! Attack Leviathan with Viral Smoke!" James ordered. The disgusting abomination opened its mouths and spewed twin clouds of yellow fog at Leviathan.

"Noooo! My monster! You've ruined _everything!_" Mewgle screamed…then burst into a grin. "Ha, just kidding."

James blinked. "Huh? What are you talking about?" The Viral Smoke struck Leviathan, causing the beast to tremble slightly…and that's it. It didn't explode or vanish or anything. It was still completely intact. James's eyes widened in alarm. "Wh-what? Why is it still here?"

"Oh, didn't I mention? Leviathan can't be destroyed by monster attack, monster effect, spell, trap, or…pretty much anything, actually," Mewgle said. "It's completely invincible." _Not to mention that, even if it SHOULD somehow be defeated…I've got something even _worse_ waiting in the wings…_

"WHAT?" James shrieked.

"But that's completely unfair!" Jessie protested.

"I know, right?" Mewgle said giddily. He frowned when he noticed his life points went down from 4000 to 2500. "Hmm, doesn't protect my LP, though…oh well, no big loss."

"It might be once I hit you again," James said, recovering from the disappointment of not being able to beat Leviathan. "Ogog, attack with Viral Smoke!" Ogog opened his mouth and exhaled more yellow smog which struck Leviathan and reduced Mewgle's LP to 1000.

"Huh…not bad, James. Perhaps I underestimated you," Mewgle muttered grudgingly. "However, relish this small victory while you can, because it's the last you'll ever have!" He reached for his deck. "Because, now that it's my turn, you're-"

"Not so fast!" James interrupted. "Who said my turn was over?"

Mewgle frowned. "Huh? But all your monsters attacked. What else can you-" He gasped, looking at the two face-down cards. "Your face-downs!"

"That's right! I activate my Spell card, Act 2!" James said as one of his cards flipped up, revealing a circus show preparing to begin its next act. "Thanks to this card, I can sacrifice half of my life points to allow each of my monsters to attack again, albeit at half their usual power! His LP counter went down to 2000, and Multigemini and Ogog's ATK points fell to 900 each. "On their own that wouldn't be enough to beat you, but by putting their combined attack power together, even reduced…"

"It'll completely destroy his life points!" Buzz gasped.

"Yes! You did it, James! You've won!" Jessie cried.

"What? No! You can't!" protested a horrified Mewgle.

"Just watch me!" James shouted. "Multigemini, attack Leviathan again!"

The horrible two-headed clown opened its mouths and belched out more Viral Smoke, striking Leviathan again and causing Mewgle to grunt in pain as his LP went down to 400. "Guh…no…"

"Now, Ogog, finish things off! Avenge Mickey!" James ordered. "VIRAL SMOKE!"

The gaudily-dressed mime opened its mouth and spewed smoke at Leviathan, causing the great beast to screech in pain and Mewgle to howl and fall to his knees as his Life Points went to 0. "No! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"YES! HE DID IT! HE DID IT!" Jessie screamed joyfully.

"HOORAH! MISS JESSIE, I'M SO HAPPY I COULD KISS YOU!" Buzz yelled.

"ME TOO!" Jessie said. And so they did.

James closed his eyes and lowered his head. "Mickey…it's over. It's all over. Finally, you can be free…" He paused, realizing something was wrong. "Wait a minute…" Alarmed, he looked upwards. Leviathan's snout was still poking through the ceiling. "If I won, why…why is Leviathan still here?"

"I can't believe this! How could I lose? This cannot be!" Mewgle cried. Abruptly, he grinned. "Because it's not! Just kidding!"

James's eyes widened in horror and confusion. "Wh-what? I don't understand…"

"Gyahaha! Of course you don't!" Mewgle sneered as he got back to his feet. "I neglected to mention Leviathan has _another_ special effect. So long as it's on the hand, in my field, or in my graveyard, even if my LP hits zero, I won't lose! And since Leviathan can never be destroyed, that means as long as it's in my possession, I'm completely INVINCIBLE!"

"No! That…that can't be!" James screamed in disbelief.

"That's ridiculously broken, even for you!" said a shocked Jessie.

Mewgle laughed. "Come on, like you really expected me to play fair? Oh, and if you think _that's_ not fair, wait'll you hear the next part! Since it's my turn now, Leviathan's other other special effect kicks in: it automatically devours all monsters currently on the field and absorbs their ATK power, too! Leviathan, it's time for your second course! Eat those clowns!"

"No! My monsters!" James shrieked as Leviathan opened its mouth and inhaled the terrified Multigemini and Ogog, swallowing them in a single gulp and causing its ATK points to skyrocket from 300 to 3900.

"And we're just getting started!" Mewgle cackled as a pair of giant dice appeared on either side of him. "Thanks to the effect of Casinotropolis, on my turn I can spend 200 LP to roll these dice! One of them will determine how many times Leviathan can attack this turn, and the other will be a multiplier which determines to what extent I can boost Leviathan's power!"

"What? Why couldn't James have done that last turn?" Jessie asked incredulously.

"Haven't you heard? The house always wins…and _I_ own the house!" Mewgle said smugly. "Which means I'm the only one who can use that ability! In your face, losers!"

"But wait, you don't have any LP!" James protested.

"I do thanks to this," Mewgle said, slotting a card into his Disk. "Hi-Potion! Thanks to this, by sending a Spell card to my graveyard, I regain 1000 LP, giving me more than enough points to use the effect of Casinotropolis!" He fed a card to the graveyard 'mouth' on his Disk, and his LP went back up to 1000.

Buzz's eyes widened in horror. "Oh no…"

"…I…I never had a chance, did I?" James whispered, shoulders sagging in despair.

"Nope, not even the smallest bit of one!" Mewgle said cheerfully. "Now, let's see what kind of numbers I get, shall we?" He flicked his wrist. His LP lowered to 800 and the dice tumbled to the ground in front of him, knocking into each other and rolling around until they came to a stop…

With sixes on top for both of them. "Well, will you look at that! A perfect twelve!" Mewgle said as the Rockets gaped in horror. "What an incredible coincidence! Why, a person could easily be excused for thinking the dice had been loaded to give me such a ridiculously high number…but that would be preposterous, wouldn't it?" Energy crackled around the dice and blasted upwards, striking Leviathan and causing it to growl loudly enough to crack the walls as its ATK power rose to a whopping 23400.

"Isn't that a little overkill?" Jessie cried incredulously.

"That's…that's over nine-" Buzz stammered.

"Don't you dare!" Jessie snapped.

James collapsed to his knees, quivering in terror. "N-no…it can't…it can't end like this…"

"Oh, but it can, James!" Mewgle said, enjoying this way more than he should have. "And now you and your friends will all die in as ridiculously gratuitous a fashion as I can manage. Leviathan? KILL THEM!"

Leviathan cracked open its jaws. Its tongue slithered out and shot down towards James. Trembling and sobbing and pissing himself, James managed to press a button on his Duel Disk. "I-I a-activ-vate m-my Trap C-Card, Neg-Negate Attack!"

The last card on James' field flipped up and emitted a bright light. The tongue stopped in its path and retracted into Leviathan's mouth. Jessie sighed in relief. "He did it! We're saved!"

"No you're not," Mewgle said. "I still have five more attacks." Leviathan's tongue shot out again, striking James in the chest so hard that he was smashed into the ground, cratering it. His LP went down to 0 and his Duel Disk exploded, taking his arm with it. James howled in unimaginable agony.

"No! James!" Jessie screamed.

"Hit him again!" Mewgle ordered.

"What? But he's already lost! Why are you having Leviathan attack again?" Buzz cried in disbelief as Leviathan opened its mouth again.

"Because I still have four attacks left, and I'm a sick and twisted fuck, if you haven't noticed already," Mewgle said cheerfully. "Kicking people while they're down is one of my greatest joys in life!" Leviathan's tongue lashed down again, striking James so hard that every bone in his body shattered. He screamed again, blood hemhorraging from every orifice in copious amounts.

"No! Stop it!" Jessie yelled, flying forwards to help James, only to rebound off an invisible wall.

"Sorry, you can't interfere," Mewgle said, not looking sorry in the least. "Don't worry, it'll be your turn soon enough. Leviathan, again!" Leviathan's tongue hit James a third time, liquefying every organ in his body and causing his body to collapse in a mass of flesh and juices.

Jessie vomited, while Buzz grew dizzy, his nausea making it difficult to keep flying. "How…how can this be? How can someone be so evil?"

"If you think _I'm_ bad, you should meet my old boss," Mewgle said. "Now _that_ one was a real piece of work! Leviathan, again!" Leviathan's tongue impacted again, causing the sack of flesh to rupture and send the liquid and chunky bits that had once been James flying everywhere.

Jessie threw up again. "James…James…"

"At least his suffering is at an end," Buzz said.

"No, it's just gotten started," Mewgle said. "I haven't even killed him yet."

They stared at him in horror and disbelief. "You mean…James is still _alive?_" Jessie screeched.

"But…but how…you just…there's barely anything left of him! How can he possibly still be alive?" Buzz stammered.

"It's amazing the sorts of things a person can live through, especially when magic is involved," Mewgle said. "Yep, James is still alive, and feeling every bit of this. It's just as horrible as you'd imagine, and maybe even a little worse! But now it's time to finish this. Leviathan, no more holding back! Kill James, kill those two…heck, destroy the entire city while you're at it! Might as well, since there's nothing left for us here." Leviathan growled and obligingly opened its jaws wider, destroying what was left of the roof and causing most of the convention center to crumble around the Rockets as the beast started gathering power in its mouth.

"Miss Jessie," Buzz said, holding the Dustox. "If this is truly it, after everything we've been through, I just want you to know that…I love you."

"I know, Buzz, I know," Jessie weeped. "It's only now I realize you were there for me all along, that I should have paid more attention to you rather than constantly moping after James. You would have made a perfect boyfriend, and I'm sorry I didn't realize it sooner."

Buzz blinked. "Boyfriend? Miss Jessie, I'm a _girl._"

There was a long, awkward pause. "What," Jessie said finally.

"I'm a girl. Didn't you know?" Buzz asked. "I thought it was obvious."

"You…you're…" Jessie started laughing hysterically. "You know, that just figures, doesn't it? Of _course_ you'd be a girl. Of course you are. Like I'd ever get anything else!" Her laughs turned into sobs.

"There, there, Miss Jessie," Buzz said, wrapping his—_her_ wings around Jessie. "I'll be with you, no matter what happens."

"No, you'll both be relegated to different parts of Leviathan's bowels," Mewgle said. "And speaking of which…Leviathan, it's time! Destroy EVERYTHING!"

With a howl, Leviathan unleashed its attack, sickly green flames erupting from its jaws…

And suddenly, everything froze. The flames stopped just before they could leave the beast's mouth. Mewgle stood like a statue, a look of manic and terrible joy on his face. Jessie and Buzz were so still it was like they had become fused together. And James…well, he probably couldn't have moved anyway in his current condtion, but if he hadn't been reduced to a gross smear, he would have been motionless as well.

A green vortex opened up, and Team Quantum emerged on the scene. "Looks like you brought us here in the nick of time, Paradox," Crono commented.

The Celebi smirked. "Well, of course. I _am_ a time traveler, after all."

"There they are," Aeon said, pointing to the nearby Jessie and Buzz. "Let's get them out of here and leave before Mewgle notices our interference."

"Remind me why we can only save these two but not James, or the rest of the city?" Crono asked as they walked over to the two insects.

"James sealed his fate when he challenged Mewgle to a Shadow Duel. By the rules of the game, his soul was forfeit, and there was no way for us to circumvent that," Paradox said. "We couldn't do anything to help the rest of the city because Mewgle would have noticed if several thousand Pokémon were time-shifted away, would have become aware of our presence, and taken measures that might keep us from doing our jobs properly later."

"But these two are so small and insignificant in the grand scheme of things he won't notice that we took them away," Aeon said, reaching into his mouth and pulling out two dim balls of light. "Especially once we feed these two soul 'echoes' from a destroyed timeline to Leviathan in Jessie and Buzz's place. It'll never tell the difference."

"And you couldn't have just gotten that many echoes for the rest of the city?" Crono asked.

"Not without him noticing something was up when he failed to summon Leviathan due to sacrificing fake souls rather than the real thing," Paradox said. "Don't worry, they'll be fine…eventually."

"Yeah, I'll bet that's such a relief to them now…" Crono muttered. He pointed to the two Bugs. "So, what do we do with these two?"

"If we took Buzz back to Rocket headquarters, she would cause no disruptions to either Giovanni's or our own carefully laid plans," Paradox said, eyes going distant as she stared into the future. "Jessie, on the other hand…there is a significant chance of her screwing up everything due to her grief and utter stupidity."

"Therefore, she must be removed from the equation," Aeon said.

"Well, since we're most certainly not leaving her here to be eaten and tortured, I'm guessing that means we're sending her on a little journey through time?" Crono asked.

Paradox nodded. "To the future, at a point when she will no longer be a danger."

"If that's the case, we should send Buzz with her," Crono argued. "To separate her from the Pokémon she loves would be needlessly cruel, and while we've done a number of things I'm not particularly happy with but am aware were necessary to fulfill our mission, doing something like that is where I draw the line."

Paradox frowned in thought. "Hmm…I don't foresee any hazardous consequences from sending both of them into the future. Aeon?"

"Giovanni wanted us to try and recover as many as we could alive," Aeon said. "However, he never said _when_ we had to return them to him. I see no harm in it."

"Very well, we'll send them both into the future, to deal with later," Paradox decided. She gestured, and a green vortex appeared, swallowing up Jessie and Buzz before consuming itself.

Aeon released the two soul facsimiles, which drifted over to where Jessie and Buzz had been and expanded, taking on the form of transparent replicas of the Dustox and Yanmega. "There. That should do it," Aeon said.

"And with that, our work here is done," Paradox said, opening another time portal. "Let's head back…Crono? Is something wrong?"

The Grovyle, who had been looking sadly at the stain that was a still-living James, started. "Hmm? Yeah, a little…"

She flew over and gently put a hand on his shoulder. "What's the matter?"

"I just wish we could do more than this," Crono complained. "We could kill Mewgle right now and save everyone a lot of trouble later. We could make it so that he'd never escaped from the Abyss at all, or possibly prevent the current series of events from ever happening in the first place. Instead, we have to resort to underhanded and somewhat unsavory tricks to make everything _just_ right to ensure that the future we originate from will come into being…regardless of how many lives we have to destroy or condemn through our own inaction in the process. What's the point of having absolute control over time if you can't use it to right all wrongs and stop bad things from happening?"

"Sometimes, a bad thing is necessary for a better event to happen later," Aeon said. "It is regrettable, but that is the way of things."

"And we can't change it?" Crono asked.

"We are the facilitators of time. We are a part of the system, and can only maintain it, no more, and no less," Paradox said. "It is up to those who live within time to create a better future."

"Yeah, one we're manipulating them into creating," Crono grumbled.

"I'm no more fond of what we're doing than you are, but you know as well as I do that it's the only way," Paradox said sadly. "They'll probably never forgive us for using them, but it won't matter, because in the end, at least _we'll_ still know we did the right thing."

"…I guess," the Grovyle said reluctantly.

She kissed him on the cheek and flitted back towards the time portal. "Now come on. Let's go report to the Boss and get this over with so we can move on to the next phase…though there should be plenty of time for us to 'relax' before that." She winked flirtatiously and vanished.

Crono blushed and rubbed the back of his neck, and then paused, noticing Aeon had been staring at him with an unreadable expression on his face. The Dusknoir looked away as Crono glanced at him, but the Grovyle knew his teammate well enough to guess what he was thinking. "Do you miss it then, Aeon?"

"Miss what?" Aeon asked.

"Being able to love," Crono said.

"…More than you can imagine." The Dusknoir floated into the portal and disappeared.

Crono sighed and went to follow him. On the threshold of the vortex, he paused and looked back at James. "Sorry," he said unhappily. "But it's for the greater good…not that I suppose that means a lot to you, does it?"

He walked into the portal and disappeared. The vortex closed, time restarted, and Leviathan's attack hit the ground. The explosion was so great that it vaporized the rest of Mahjong City and rose into the sky as a towering ugly grayish-green mushroom cloud, tearing a huge chunk out of the landscape and leaving a gaping crater where once an urban metropolis had thrived. Laughing giddily, Mewgle and Leviathan flew out of the smoke and the fire, the former riding on the latter's head. "Gwahahahaha! That was even more fun than I'd expected!" Mewgle cackled, slapping the head of his partner in glee. "That guy had more fight in him than I thought he would…not that it mattered in the end, right pal?" Leviathan grunted in assent. Mewgle frowned. "Still…there was something a little odd about the whole thing…"

Leviathan ran its tongue between its teeth, trying to catch the last morsels of soul. For some reason, the last two it had eaten, Jessie's and Buzz's, didn't fill it up as much as it had expected. It was like there had been almost nothing to the two Bugs. It supposed the two of them were too weak and insignificant to merit a larger meal, but still, he'd expected more for some reason… As it pondered this, Mewgle snapped his fingers, coming to a realization of his own. "Oh yeah, that's right! There were a bunch of other losers with them before, weren't there? Those other Rockets, and those…really weird guys, Sam and Max or something." He narrowed his eyes. "I'm gonna have to make them pay for humiliating me…maybe even before I find Leo. Think they'd appreciate a round two?" He scratched his chin. "I wonder why they weren't here…"

Leviathan searched the memories of James, its latest meal, and projected what it found into Mewgle's mind using their mystic bond. Mewgle frowned when he received the information. "They split up, huh? Where's that shaman going? To find someone capable of stopping me? Is he looking for Leo, or…" He stiffened, eyes widening in horror as a possibility came to mind. "No. He wouldn't! Not…not _her!_" Frantic, he slapped the top of Leviathan's head and pointed into the distance. "Change of plans, buddy! Leo and Sam and Max have to wait for later…right now, we have to find those idiots before they release an old…_friend_ of mine who could make things very difficult for us in the future!"

Leviathan nodded and flew away from the smoldering ruins of Mahjong City, following Mewgle's heading. It hoped that there would be someone to eat on the way there. It was already feeling hungry again…

…

Meanwhile, in the distant north…

"Well, that was fun," Entei said as he licked some blood off his lips.

"Yeah, it felt good to really show our stuff," Raikou agreed as he gnawed on a Mamoswine bone.

"It has been far too long…ahhhh, the joys of Hyper Mode…Doctor, do you suppose we will have a chance to use it again soon?" Suicune asked hopefully as they walked down the hallway leading into the main sanctuary of the ancient temple, leaving the one-sided bloodbath that had been their battle against the Snowtusk clan behind. A freshly cloned Chobin toddled alongside them, occasionally falling back to taunt and make faces at the depressed and silent golem trio.

Tarantulas shrugged his many legs. "Ve shall know soon enough, fraulein…and speaking of vhich, here ve are!"

The Nihilators found themselves in an immense chamber with a vaulted roof that stretched hundreds of meters over their heads, supported by massive pillars of rock. Magnificent sculptures of ice lined the walls, while the metal floor was covered in strange and elaborate carvings. In the center of the room was a large dais of red brick with an ornate triangular carving set in the floor around a mound of rock with a beautiful blue sphere imbedded in it. Monoliths of rock, ice, and steel stood at the three corners of the triangle. "Hmm, not bad," Entei commented.

"ECHO! ECHO! ECHO! ECHO!" Chobin shouted, causing everyone else to wince as his voice reverberated throughout the grand hall.

"Vas zat necessary?" Tarantulas asked as he recalibrated his auditory sensors.

"Yes," Chobin said.

"So, where's Regigigas?" Raikou asked, glancing around.

"In ze middle of zat triangle," Tarantulas said, pointing to the big blue jewel.

"…Huh. I seem to remember him being bigger," Raikou commented.

"He'll be all zat and more once ve break his seal! Each of you, destroy one of zose zree pillars," Tarantulas ordered.

The three beasts climbed onto the dais and split up, each of them standing before one of the monoliths. They inhaled deeply, powering up, and then unleashed their attacks; Entei melting the metal monolith with Overheat, Raikou shattering the ice monolith with Zap Cannon, and Suicune blasting the rock monolith with Hydro Pump. As the three pillars crumbled, the big jewel started glowing. "All clear, Doc!" Entei reported.

The cyborg giggled. "Excellent, excellent!" He gestured to his henchmons. "You, set up ze field projectors! You, prepare ze big screen! And you, get ze golems in place! Ve vill need to use zem as keys once again to free Regigigas…and as a backup in case my initial plan does not vork."

As the beasts jumped down from the dais, several Nihilators came up behind them and formed a perimeter around the triangle, placing generators connected by cables along the edges of the big triangle. As they stepped back, another group of Nihilators ascended onto the dais, pushing the hover-platforms carrying Regirock, Regice, and Registeel ahead of them. They moved the platforms onto the spots where the monoliths of their corresponding elements had been and deactivated the repulsors, lowering the trio into place. As the platforms touched the ground, the carving lit up, and the jewel glowed even more brightly.

"It am working, it am working!" Chobin squealed, jumping up and down happily.

"Zat it is!" Tarantulas grinned at the silent golems. "Vell, aren't you going to beg me not to do zis, warn me of ze forces I am tinkering viz and how I vill doom us all by doing zis foolish act?"

"No," Regirock said.

"You have made your choice. We can do nothing to stop it," Regice said sadly.

"Other than bear witness to the consequences," Registeel said ominously. "Remember, though: whatever shall occur in the next few minutes, you have brought upon yourself."

"Mmhmm, yeah, zat's nice," Tarantulas said, not paying attention.

"So, what now?" Suicune asked.

"Now zat ze keys are all in place, ve must break ze final seal…everyone, attack zat jewel! Hit it viz everyzing you've got!" Tarantulas commanded, his mechanical eye powering up and firing a laser at the blue gem. The three beasts and the rest of the Nihilators followed suit, firing their strongest attacks at the jewel and causing its glow to become brighter and brighter as it soaked up the energy. The carvings on the ground throbbed, and the temple shook, and suddenly a triangular pillar of red light rose from the dais. Startled, everyone ceased their attacks.

"Uh, is that supposed to happen?" Entei asked in surprise.

"Yes," Tarantulas said. "Quickly, activate ze field generators, and get ze screen ready!" His minions scurried about as they complied, switching on the devices they had planted around the triangle and causing a crackling force field to shimmer to life around it. Others powered up the enormous monitor they had hurriedly assembled, causing its giant screen to light up. As they did this, a massive shadow began to take form in the red light. The beasts tensed in anticipation, Tarantulas grinned gleefully, the beasts stared resignedly forward, and Chobin picked his nose.

At last, the light died down, revealing a new figure that had not been in the triangle moments ago. It had a golem-like shape and was primarily white in coloration, possessing long arms with three fairly human-like white fingers and short legs. It had large yellow bands on its shoulders and wrists, with a sloping section on its chest that appeared to be its head that was also yellow, with seven dot-like eyes arranged in a Braille pattern. Its body was covered in black stripes, and it had moss growing on its back and feet. Six gemstones were placed in two rows on either side of its head, two red, two blue, and two silver. Twelve feet tall, it loomed over all other Pokémon in the room. "I Have Awakened," it intoned in a deep, flat voice, its eyes flashing in strange patterns in tune with its speech.

"At last…Regigigas, ze king of ze giants, is in my grasp…now I shall possess ze Ultimate Shadow Pokémon!" Tarantulas howled triumphantly.

"Chobin was thinking that he would be muchly tallier," Chobin complained.

"He's bigger than all of us," Entei said.

"Yes, but not _really_ big! There are being lots of lots of lots of lots of lots of lots of lots of Pokémon being muchly tallier and way bigger in size and height than this one are being," Chobin pointed out. "Like Wailord. And Steelix. And Little Chobin."

"He gets bigger," Suicune explained. "His Slow Start special ability not only temporarily reduces his speed and power when he first wakes up, it also limits his size, too."

"At his full height, he is truly worthy of being called the king of the giants," Raikou agreed.

"Regirock. Regice. Registeel," Regigigas said, acknowledging the trio surrounding him.

"Creator…it has been a long time," Regirock said reverently.

"We are sorry you had to be awakened," Regice apologized. "We tried to warn them, but-"

"They would not listen," Registeel said, shaking his head. "And now they must pay the price."

Regigigas nodded. "Indeed." He looked at Tarantulas. "Why Have You Awakened Me? I Did Not Wish To Be Awakened. Only In Sleep Do I Find Peace."

"Regigigas, legendary king of ze giants and terror of ze ancient vorld!" Tarantulas cried, executing a many-legged bow. "I am Dr. Tomaru Tarantulas, ze greatest scientific mind in history! On behalf of mein Fuhrer, Oblivion's Shadow, I velcome you into ze Nihilator organization, a group dedicated to destroying ze vorld, somezing zat should be right up your alley, ja? Join us, and togezzer ve shall bring zis planet to ruin…and have revenge on zose who unfairly imprisoned you so long ago! You vill be granted power beyond your wildest imaginings, and a chance to strike back at ze gods who turned on you ages ago! Vat do you say?"

Regigigas's eyes flashed. "No."

Tarantulas frowned, but did not look entirely surprised. "Ah, so you vould razzer destroy everyzing, vizout regard to friend or foe? Unfortunate, but not unexpected. However, ve cannot allow you to do zat, because ve have some very specific targets ve vish to turn you against-"

"No. You Do Not Understand," Regigigas interrupted. "I Do Not Seek Vengeance. I Do Not Wish To Destroy Anyone. All I Want To Do Is Sleep."

Tarantulas stared at him in confusion. "I…I'm sorry? I'm afraid you've lost me."

"Long Ago, The Ruler Of Evil Deceived Me And Turned Me Against Those I Was Sworn To Protect," Regigigas boomed. "My Friends Made Me See The Truth Of My Actions, But Not Until I Had Razed Countless Worlds And The Blood Of Billions Was On My Hands. Although Everyone Forgave Me, My Memories Of My Sins, Indelible Due To My Nature As A Golem, Haunted Me Endlessly. Out Of Guilt, I Sealed Myself Away, So That I Could Harm No One Else, And So That I Could Sleep Without Dreams, My Tormented Memories At Peace. I May Only Be Awakened In A Time Of Truly Great Need, And Even Then, I Will Return To Sleep Later, Because Whenever I Am Truly Needed, Even _More_ Blood Always Finds Its Way Onto My Hands." He looked at his immaculate white fingers sadly. "No Matter How Many Times I Clean Myself, It Always Feels Like It's Still There."

"But…but zat can't be!" Tarantulas protested. "Ze legends say you vere sealed avay to protect ze people, because zey vere afraid of you!"

"They Were," Regigigas said. "And With Good Reason, Too. I Am Afraid Of Myself As Well, And What I Am Capable Of."

"The scar the Ruler of Evil left on our creator's psyche has resisted all attempts to heal it," Regirock said. "Not just the torture of his memories, but the terrible wrath that being instilled in him…a wrath which would send him into a great and mindless rage once triggered, destroying anything that stood in his way aside from us, sometimes even those he was trying to help."

"Why else do you suppose his temple is out here in the middle of nowhere, where there's little chance of him harming anyone should he be awakened and his rage ignited?" Regice said.

"We warned you not to release him because we feared that his fury at all the evils you Nihilators have committed would be so terrible he would destroy not just you, but everything and every_one_ for miles around," Registeel said.

"…And you didn't mention zis sooner _vhy?_" Tarantulas shouted.

"Because learning that he possessed such power and unstoppable rage would only make you covet him more, regardless of the danger he posed," Regirock said.

"Oh," Tarantulas said. "Hmm. Zat's true. All right, but vhy didn't _you_ tell me zis, zen?" he demanded of the three beasts.

They blinked at him in surprise. "Huh? Us?" Entei cried in surprise.

"How were we supposed to know?" Raikou demanded.

"You're all legendary Pokémon! I figured you'd know zis sort of zing about each ozzer!" Tarantulas shouted.

"Well, usually, but…it's not like we ever really hung out much with the golems, what with Regigigas always sleeping and the other three being less than sociable," Suicune said.

"Hey, we can be perfectly sociable when we want to!" Regice said. "We just…don't want to very often…"

"So all this is as much of a surprise to us as it is to you," Entei said.

"Ha! Chobin is not being the leastest bit surprised at this predictable and unsurprising turn of events that is predictable and unsurprising!" Chobin boasted.

"Really?" Raikou asked.

"No," Chobin confessed.

"As I Slept, I Was One With The Pulse Of The Earth. The Holy Mother's Love Filled Me, Granting Me Bliss. But With Her Love, I Also Felt Her Pain," Regigigas intoned. "As You Tortured And Murdered Her Children, As You Twisted And Corrupted Her Protectors, As You Raped And Pillaged The Earth. I Know What You Have Done. I Know What You Intend To Do. I Did Not Wish To Be Awakened, But Now That I Am Revived, It Is My Duty To Cleanse The World Of Your Taint…No Matter How Much Damage I May Cause In The Process."

"Uh, that doesn't sound good…" Suicune murmured uneasily.

"Creator, are you certain? You know how you get when you fight," Registeel said in concern.

"As Do I. I Will Try To Control Myself. If I Get Out Of Hand, Do Your Best To Calm Me," Regigigas told them.

"Creator, when you get out of hand, so do _we_," Regice protested. "We lose our minds, and become vessels of your fury!"

"Then Try Not To Do That," Regigigas said. They sweatdropped. "Entei. Suicune. Raikou. If You Depart Now, You Will Be Stayed My Wrath. You Have Committed Much Evil, But It Was Not Of Your Volition."

"What're you talking about? We haven't done anything we haven't wanted to!" Entei said.

"Incorrect. Your Minds Have Been Warped By Shadow, And By The Ice Witch Bellum's-" Regigigas started.

"You're getting a little ahead of yourself, aren't you?" Tarantulas interrupted somewhat frantically. "If you're going to avenge ze planet or vhatever, you're going to have to get out of zere first, and let me tell you, zat's not happening! Zat energy field has been calibrated for your strengzh, so it's impossible for you to-" Regigigas drew back a fist and punched the barrier so hard that the whole room shook and the generators started sparking, the field flickering briefly. "Ach du lieber!"

"Doctor, he's overloading the projectors!" one of the Nihilators cried as Regigigas punched the energy field again, damaging it further.

"His Slow Start must be vearing off…soon he'll be back at full power, and zen ve'll be unable to stop him!" the horrified Tarantulas realized.

"We can take him, Doc!" Raikou said confidently.

"But…what was that he was saying about our minds warped by Bellum? What did he mean?" asked a confused Suicune.

"Nozzing. He meant nozzing! He's just trying to make you doubt yourselves. You _chose_ to become Shadow Pokémon, remember? Viz ze power you have now, vhy vould you possibly vant to go back?" Tarantulas said quickly.

"That's…true," Entei said slowly. "But-"

"But nozzing! In any event, I'm not sure you can beat him once he reaches full power," Tarantulas said.

"Sure we can, just give us another dose of Shadow and we'll destroy him in Hyper Mode," Raikou said.

Tarantulas shook his head as Regigigas punched the barrier again, the ripples growing larger and more chaotic. "Nein, nein, zat von't vork, your bodies are still recovering from ze last infusion. It could cause permanent damage to your physiologies if you triggered Hyper Mode again so soon after ze last time."

"Then how are we supposed to fight him?" Suicune demanded.

"What about that…that whozits Oblivion's Shadow gave us?" Entei asked, glancing at the big monitor. "You know that thing that can make Pokémon into Shadows lickety-split…um…some kinda…equation?"

"Ick, Chobin is hating math with all its numbers and formulas and many-sided objects Chobin is not being able to molest," Chobin said in disgust.

"Ze Anti-Life Equation? I vould not recommend it…" Tarantulas said, glancing anxiously at Regigigas, who seemed to be moving faster and hitting harder by the second. "If he is truly as dangerous as zey say he is when he gets angry regularly…how much vorse vill he be as a Shadow Pokémon? Ve vant to make him a veapon, but not one zat vill kill us!"

"Then what do we do?" Raikou asked a little desperately as the temple shook more and more with each blow Regigigas landed on the barrier separating him from them.

Tarantulas grinned. "Vhile zis series of events is unfortunate, it vas by no means unexpected. Even zis eventuality I have prepared for…behold, Plan B!' Hatches opened up all over his body and his robot spiders streamed out in the hundreds, swarming across the ground and moving en masse towards the dais the golems were standing on like a sea of metal bodies and limbs. The Nihilators, knowing all too well how deadly Tarantulas' drones were, quickly got out of the way as the spiders scurried past, not wanting to be devoured and sliced to pieces by the machines' indiscriminate incisors. "Quit lollygagging and prepare ze cannons!" Tarantulas snapped at the startled Nihilators, causing them to jump to attention. "Ve're only going to get one shot at zis, so let's do it right, ja?"

"Hmm? What are you…no…no! Get them off! GET THEM OFF!" Regirock shrieked in horror as the spiders crawled onto the dais and climbed onto his body, swiftly covering him beneath their wriggling mass.

"Aaaaaahhh! Aaaaaahhh! Aaaaaahhh! Get off! Getoffgetoffgetoff!" Regice screamed, thrashing about helplessly as the spiders engulfed her.

"No! Stop! What…what are you doing? Aaaaauuughhh!" Registeel howled as the spiders enveloped him. "Nooooo!"

"O…kay, that's kind of creepy," Entei said with a shudder.

Suicune shivered and looked away, her skin crawling. "I have never been fond of spiders…"

"Hey, cover me too! Chobin is not wanting the stupid golems to get all the fun!" Chobin shouted, running up to the dais and throwing himself into the center of the roiling swarm of spiders. They tore him apart in seconds. He died with a smile on his face. Suicune turned green, and a couple of the Nihilators threw up. Tarantulas sighed and shook his head wearily. "Vell, guess I need to roll out Chobin v. 77.0…good zing ve zhought to bring so many backups viz us!"

Regigigas hesitated, eyes flickering in alarm. "My Friends? What…What Is Happening?"

"That's, uh, something I'd like to know too," Raikou said with a grimace as the golems continued to scream and flail about as best they could due to their restraints. "Doc?"

"Just anozzer moment…" Tarantulas murmured as the Nihilators finished assembling a trio of large high-tech cannons and rolled them into place on the dais just beyond the edge of the spider horde, their barrels pointed at the wailing golems. "Okiedokie…and…now!" He transmitted a signal to his servitors.

The spiders froze in place, their eyes flashing a bright red. And then, all at once, they exploded. The blast was tremendous, shaking the whole temple and causing several of the clumsier Nihilators to lose their footing and fall over as debris fell from the ceiling and Regirock, Regice, and Registeel's screams were abruptly cut off. "No! My Friends! My Friends!" Regigigas cried in horror, pressing himself against the barrier and trying to see what was going on outside his temporary prison. The smoke rising from the conflagration swirled, dissipated, and revealed…

Three piles of rubble, one at each point of the triangle, one of stone, one of ice, and one of metal. A few of the chunks of debris had bits of Braille markings on them, all of them black and devoid of life. Regigigas stared at the remains of the golems incredulously, trembling in disbelief and despair. "No…My…My Friends…You…You…" Shaking, he curled his hands into fists. The jewels on either side of his head started flashing ominously, and his eyes turned a brilliant red. "_You…What…WHAT HAVE YOU DOOOOOOOOOOOOONE?"_ Regigigas roared in rage and grief, a wave of power blasting off from his body and shattering some of the pillars, causing huge portions of the roof to cave in. The temple started shaking harder and harder, as enormous cracks zigzagged across the floor and tore open fissures that Nihilators who weren't fleet of foot enough fell into, tumbling screaming to their deaths.

"Whoa!" Raikou cried as he dashed all over the place to avoid falling rubble.

"Uh, Doc, not to question you or anything, but…_why the Abyss did you do that?_" Entei shouted.

"Now he is going to kill us all!" Suicune agreed in alarm as a blazing red aura engulfed the enraged Regigigas, and the giant slowly began to _grow_ right before their eyes, the projectors sparking and smoking as they worked overtime to try and contain him.

"Not just yet he von't…activate ze cannons! Suck up zose golem parts!" Tarantulas commanded. Shaken and frightened, the Nihilators managed to regain some of their discipline and turned the devices they'd wheeled into place on, lowering the barrels so they pointed at the remains of Regirock, Regice, and Registeel. With the whirring of powerful turbine engines, the chunks of rock, ice, and metal were sucked into the devices, throwing up a din as they bounced into each other and the sides of the machines as they were ground down and mixed with another substance that had been placed in the cannons ahead of time. Steam began to rise from the machines as they shook and heated up, a powerful and mysterious process taking place inside their innards.

Smoke rose from the field projectors as they shook and heated up too, but less because they were doing anything and more because Regigigas's raw power was causing them to break down. One by one, they started exploding, and with each failed generator, the force field grew weaker and weaker, and Regigigas grew bigger and _bigger_, already more than thirty feet tall! "Doc? When's this Plan B of yours supposed to kick in?" Raikou asked anxiously.

"Right…about…NOW!" Tarantulas shouted as the cannons stopped their vibrating and green lights flashed on their sides. At that exact same second, the last field projector self-destructed, causing the force field to collapse and leaving them completely undefenseless from the beyond pissed Regigigas. The giant lifted one foot, preparing to take his first step…

When Tarantulas shouted, "FIRE!" and the Nihilators pointed the cannons at Regigigas and did just that. Lengths of chain were fired from the barrels of device, whirling through the air and wrapping themselves around Regigigas's wrists and waist. The one on his right wrist had links made of rock and green crystal, the one on his left wrist had links of metal and green crystal, and the one on his waist had links of ice and green crystal. The chains started glowing, and energy washed out from them and across Regigigas's body, causing him to cry out in pain and stumble back, accidentally stepping on some of the Nihilators surrounding him in the process and crushing them to a bloody paste. Moaning in agony, he fell to his knees (crushing more Nihilators), and put his hands on the ground for support as he gasped and shook, the aura of red rage dissipating. As the chains continued glowing and pumping energy into him, he slowly began shrinking, returning back to his original size. "Aha! Success, just like I calculated!" Tarantulas Murkrowed triumphantly.

"Whoa…Doc…what the heck did you just do?" asked an amazed Entei.

"You stopped him right in his tracks!" Suicune agreed.

"But how?" Raikou asked.

"Elementary, my dear beasts…have you ever heard of sympazetic magic?" Tarantulas asked.

"Um…that means you can influence something due to its relationship to another thing, right?" Entei guessed.

Tarantulas nodded. "Somezing like zat, yes. Allow me to explain: do you see zose chains vhich I used to bind him? Zey are made from ze remains of his golem friends, viz a bit of life crystal from ze Tree of Beginning zrown in to give zem extra power."

"That explains the material you're made of…and why you destroyed then sucked up their remnants," Suicune murmured.

"But what's that got to do with anything? Those chains don't look too tough. He could probably break them in a second," said a puzzled Raikou.

Tarantulas chuckled cruelly. "Ah, and normally he could…but since zese chains are made from ze remnants of his friends, his creations, he cannot. His connection to zem vas so strong zat he could not harm zem in life…and so he cannot harm zem in deaz, eizer. His own friendship and soft heart renders him incapable of destroying vat is left of zem…and as such, so long as he is vearing zem, he cannot lift a finger against us! He is completely under our control!"

"That's…wow. That's really clever," said an impressed Entei.

"I see…it's symbolic. To shatter his chains would be synonymous to shattering his friendship…he is bound by his own caring heart." Suicune sneered. "How pathetic."

"Doctor…You…You Will…Pay For This…" Regigigas panted.

Tarantulas yawned. "Yeah, I don't zink so. Stand up, Regigigas." Regigigas stayed motionless. Tarantulas frowned. "I said…STAND UP!" Regigigas gasped as more energy poured out from his chains, and he found himself standing up against his will. Tarantulas grinned. "Good. Now…take one step forward." Regigigas unwillingly obeyed, his footsteps shaking the ground. "Take one step back." Regigigas complied, returning to his starting position.

"Hop in a circle while standing on one foot!" Raikou suggested gleefully. Nothing happened. He frowned. "Hey, what gives?"

"Ze chains are keyed only to vork for ze highest-ranking Nihilators; vhich includes me, Frau Bellum, Herr Shadow, and a few of our military commanders," Tarantulas said. "Zey vill not vork for you."

Raikou sulked. "Aw, mon…"

"Then perhaps you could ask him to finish telling us whatever he was saying before about Bellum?" Suicune asked.

"I Would Be Happy To-" Regigigas started.

"Quiet!" Tarantulas shouted, and the giant reluctantly ceased speaking. "Vhy vould you vant to hear zat? It's nozing more zan a filzy lie."

"Yes, but I'm a bit curious as to what exactly this lie was," Entei said.

Raikou nodded. "And what exactly he seems to think Bellum did to us."

"Nozing. She did nozing," Tarantulas said quickly.

"_We_ know that, but we want to hear why he thinks-" Suicune started.

"You vill hear nozing, and zat is final!" Tarantulas snapped. When they looked at him in surprise, he calmed himself and said, "Look, it is nozing you need to trouble yourself viz. He vas only trying to plant doubts in your mind regarding your purpose and place in our organization."

"Well, it's working…" Entei murmured.

Tarantulas sighed. "Look, it's really nozing to vorry about, okay? I mean, come on, who are you going to believe…ze guy who gave you your powers, or ze guy who was going to tear us all apart just a minute ago?"

"Well, I guess-" Raikou started.

"Exactly! I'm glad zat's settled," Tarantulas interrupted, ignoring the uncertain frowns on their faces. He turned back to Regigigas. "Now…let's see just vhat sort of power ve have under our control now, shall ve? Regigigas, use Hyper Beam!"

Regigigas lifted an arm, golden energy coalescing between his fingers. He fired that energy as a ridiculous powerful beam that smashed through the wall, drilling through the temple foundations and out into the open glacier, where it streaked through the air and smashed into a mountain, destroying a full third of it in a terrible explosion.

The Nihilators all stared at the smoking peak through the hole Regigigas had made in the wall, jaws dropped in awe. "Damn," Entei said, impressed.

"What power…" whispered an amazed Suicune.

"Do it again! Do it again!" Raikou chanted.

"As tempting as it is, I vould razzer not," Tarantulas said reluctantly. "I vouldn't vant to bring ze temple down on us, after all. I zink ve have seen enough, however…Regigigas is every bit as powerful as I had hoped, and viz his awesome might, ze Berry Kingdom shall crumble before us! Nozzing vill stand in our vay!"

"Doctor," Regigigas said. "Do Not Think You Have Won. You May Control My Body…But My Mind Is Still My Own."

"Yes, vell, ve'll see how long that lasts once I turn you into a Shadow Pokémon," Tarantulas said dismissively. "All right, let's pack up and move out! Hoho, von't Herr Shadow be pleased vhen he sees vhat I've brought him? Considering how low Bellum's fallen in his esteem lately due to her recent colossal screwups, I'll be back in his good graces faster zan her for sure viz zis prize!"

"Yeah…totally…" Entei murmured, lost in thought as the Nihilators started collecting their gear and preparing to move out.

"Glad we could help, Doc…" Raikou said, equally lost in thought.

"Hmm…" Suicune frowned, staring at Regigigas as the Doctor ordered him off the dais and got him to work smashing a hole in the wall large enough for him to fit through. Despite Tarantulas's reassurances, she was not completely convinced that the matter Regigigas had been alluding to was over and done with. Oh, she had no doubt that she and her brethren had joined the Nihilators willingly and allowed themselves to become Shadow Pokémon, but…

If it had only been Regigigas who had said something, she would have dismissed it as a lie, as the Doctor said it was. But Chobin had been starting to mention something similar earlier, and Tarantulas had been rather insistent on dismissing that as well. Was he hiding something? She glanced at her comrades, who nodded quietly, showing they were of one mind: something was being kept from them, and they were going to find out what it was, no matter what the cost.

…

Meanwhile, elsewhere…

Gardevoir wasn't sure what she had expected to find on the other side of the door in her subconscious, but it certainly wasn't a tea table. It was a completely ordinary table with a completely ordinary teapot, completely ordinary teacups and cozies, completely ordinary seats and knapkins and plates, and very completely ordinary biscuits, which meant of course that the whole thing was extremely _not_ ordinary due to the fact that it was sitting in the middle of a vast, empty space much like the one she had just left. In addition, the only other figure in this place other than herself and her figments was…difficult to make out. When she looked at it, all she saw was a blur, and her head hurt as she struggled and failed to process it. "Well, this was unexpected," the vampire muttered, echoing her thoughts, which was unsurprising since their thoughts were exactly the same.

"Ooh, tea! How lovely!" the angel said.

"All right, buddy, we want some answers! Who are you, and why did you want us here?" the demon demanded.

"I…I'm sorry?" the blurry figure asked, sounding surprised.

"Don't play games with us! We found a door in our subconscious that led to this place, which means you must have wanted us here for some reason! Start talking! What's going on?" the demon asked.

"I…I have no idea what you're talking about," the blur said, sounding upset. "Who are you? How did you get here?" It paused. "And…where _is_ here?"

The demon snorted. "Oh, nice try, but we aren't buying-"

"My name is Gardevoir," Gardevoir interrupted, deciding a different approach was necessary. "These three are figments of my imagination resembling aspects of my personality."

"Oh," the blur said. "You are all very pretty."

The four blushed. "Well, at least he's charming," the angel giggled.

"Hmmph, he's just trying to sweet-talk us," the demon said, trying not to act flattered.

"We were just talking in the subconscious area of our mind when this door here appeared," the vampire said, gesturing to the portal they had entered through. "Curious, we opened it and found ourselves here."

"I see," the blur murmured. "But…if you came from inside your mind, then that means this must be the inside of someone else's mind…but whose? My own?"

"That would make sense, because otherwise there's no other way you could exist in a place like this," the angel said.

The demon nodded. "To be here, you either must be a figment of this mind's imagination or some part of himself. Or herserlf. Er, which gender are you?"

"I…do not know," the blur said, sounding surprised. "I don't know…anything, actually. Who I am, how I got here…how _long_ I've been here…"

Gardevoir sighed. "Oh dear…he's amnesiac…"

"Which is odd, since he's in his own mind, so _shouldn't_ have any memory problems…" the vampire murmured with a frown.

"What about the tea?" the angel asked.

"What about it?" asked the confused blur.

"Where did it come from?" the angel asked.

"Oh. Um…I think it's always been here," the blur said. 'Though I don't really know how long 'always' is since…I can't really remember anything beyond you four walking through that door. This is…troubling. How did this happen to me? How can I not know who I am?"

"It happens more often than you'd think," the demon said sardonically. "It's almost a cliché by now, really."

"_Almost?_" the vampire asked.

"So you don't know who you are or where the door letting us in here came from…" Gardevoir murmured. "Hmm…perhaps your mind was damaged somehow and a part of you subconsciously reached out to someone for help, guiding us here?"

"I suppose it's as likely as anything else," the blur said. "But you probably would know better than I, since I don't have any recollection of doing that. If I had reached out for help, wouldn't I remember doing that?"

"Not if your mind is damaged, and it _must_ be given that your memory is so bad you don't even seem to know what you look like," the vampire said, referring to how the figure was a blur rather than having any clear shape or form. "It could be some kind of automatic defense or self-repair mechanism. Any mind strong enough to facilitate access to another usually has that sort of capability built into it. It must have looked for a mind powerful enough to repair the damage, and in doing so opened the channel between our subconsciouses."

"My mind must be very powerful if it can do all that without me even knowing it," said the impressed blur. "But if you were able to come here, does that mean you are powerful as well?"

"Well, I should think so," the demon said with a smirk.

"Maybe powerful enough to help fix whatever's wrong with his psyche?" the angel suggested.

The vampire nodded in agreement. "We're here, so we might as well…may we sit, please?"

"Hmm? Oh, uh, go right ahead," the blur said, standing up as the four womon took their seats. It grabbed the teapot and carefully poured some tea into five cups, which he then distributed to his guests, retaining one for himself.

"Why, how very kind of you!" the angel said, touched.

"Well, it's nice to see that you retain your manners even if you don't have your memories," Gardevoir said warmly as she sipped her tea, deciding not to wonder how it was possible for her to be drinking something if she was currently a literal thought in someone else's head…or how the tea her vampire self was drinking had inexplicably turned into blood. "That says quite a lot about you, doesn't it?"

"It does?" said the confused blur.

"Certainly. If you're nice enough to offer hospitality and tea to visitors, it's very likely you aren't evil, because most villains don't bother with courtesies like that," the vampire said.

"Oh…I hadn't considered that," the blur confessed. "I wasn't even thinking when I did that. It just seemed like the right thing to do. I mean…I don't remember ever doing it before, but it still felt…right somehow. Almost familiar, actually."

"Which speaks volumes for your character, if a decent thing like that comes so easily to you that you do it automatically without thinking, or even any memories of your doing it in the past," the angel said approvingly.

"I…thank you," the blur said, flummoxed.

"Don't be so certain that means he's good. Oblivion's Shadow might behave the same way," the demon pointed out. "He's…kind of weird, that way."

"Oblivion's Shadow?" the blur asked. "Who is that?"

"The evilest creature alive," the angel said darkly.

"And our current captor," Gardevoir said sadly.

"Captor? But you are right here. Nobody is holding you captive," said the puzzled blur.

"There is more to the world than your mind or our own," the vampire said. "You are aware that there is a 'real' world, a place outside this, aren't you?"

"I…I think so," the blur said. "I…never thought about it until you've mentioned it, but now that you've said it, it seems like the most obvious thing in the world. But…I've never been there…or…have I? If so, it's not something I remember…and yet I _must_ have…"

"So you know nothing of the real world besides this?" the angel asked sadly.

The blur shook its head (?). "If I do, I seem to have forgotten it, like everything else."

"Well, while we can converse freely in this mindscape, in the real world our body is being held prisoner by an incredibly evil being named Oblivion's Shadow, a strange creature who seeks to destroy this world, and possibly others," Gardevoir said.

"Oh my. Why would anyone want to do that?" asked the alarmed blur.

"We're still trying to figure that out for ourselves," the demon said. "So far we aren't really getting anywhere, though."

"Why is he holding you captive?" the troubled blur asked.

"Well, we think that he was originally going to use me as some sort of sacrifice to resurrect a being known as the 'Ruler of Evil,'" Gardevoir said.

"Does that name mean anything to you?" the vampire asked when the blur stiffened.

"I'm…not sure. For some reason, that name makes me feel…angry. I do not know why, though," said the perplexed blur.

"That's odd," the angel commented. "Considering the Ruler of Evil is the greatest force of evil that's ever existed, you'd think its name would inspire fear rather than anger."

The blur nodded in puzzlement. "Indeed, and yet…anger is all I feel. And anger is what I feel towards this 'Oblivion's Shadow,' too…intending to sacrifice a creature as lovely as yourself to revive something as terrible as that! Does he have no heart?"

"It doesn't seem that way," the angel said, hiding a blush.

"I don't know," Gardevoir said. "There's times when he's seemed…" She sighed and shook her head. "It's impossible to tell what's going on in his head. I'm starting to wonder if even he understands what he does…"

"In any event, you don't have to worry about us getting sacrificed," the vampire said. "Recently Gardevoir got turned into a vampire by a mysterious assailant—oh, sorry, do you know what a vampire is?"

"I…think so. It's a mythical creature that drinks blood, doesn't it?" the blur asked.

"Yes, but not quite so mythical in my case," Gardevoir said. "And because of it, I'm no longer suitable for his plans. And yet he still keeps me around rather than killing me…in fact, he actually seems to be trying to _cure_ me…"

"Cure you? How very odd…" the blur said. "I didn't think vampires could be cured."

"Neither do we," the vampire said.

The demon frowned. "How is it you have no memory of your past, and yet you know what a vampire is, can serve tea, are able to speak legibly, and so on?"

"…I do not know. I suppose that is rather odd," said the perplexed blur. "I'm pretty sure I didn't know what any of those things were before you mentioned them, and yet I feel as if I have…always known what they were."

"Hmm…I wonder…" the angel murmured to herself. "Maybe it's not that you've forgotten everything, but you remember it all and have just _forgotten_ that you remember it?"

"Huh?" asked the confused demon. "I don't get it."

"I do," said the vampire. "An interesting theory."

"Yes, it does have a ring of truth to it," the blur agreed.

"Hmm…if that's the case, then let's try something. I'm going to throw out some words, and we'll see if you can recognize them," Gardevoir suggested. "Maybe it'll help us figure out how much you really know and jog your memory."

"All right," the blur said obligingly.

"What do you think of when you hear the word 'Psyduck?'" Gardevoir said.

"A very stupid yellow water fowl with surprisingly powerful psychic abilities," the blur said.

"How about 'Potion?'" asked the angel.

"A curative spray used to treat wounds," the blur said.

"'Rainbow,'" said the vampire.

"A colorful light formation created by light refracting through water droplets," the blur said.

"'Human,'" the demon prompted.

The blur tensed at this. "H-human?"

"Do you not know what those are?" Gardevoir asked.

"No, I do, it's just…how odd. That word stirs strange…feelings. Mixed emotions. Anger and resentment as well as…as respect. Even…admiration," the blur said.

"But how could you feel all that for humans?" asked the perplexed angel.

The vampired nodded. "Yes, they've been extinct for almost a thousand years now."

The blur started at this. "Wh-what? A thousand years? I've…I've been in here that long?"

The Gardevoirs exchanged surprised looks. "What do you mean?" Gardevoir asked.

"I…I think…yes, I'm certain of it…I knew humans," said the amazed blur. "I do not know how, and I cannot recall any names or faces, but…I knew them. I walked among them, and hid from them, and watched them from afar. Of that I am certain. And…you say they are extinct?"

Gardevoir nodded. "Yes, they all died in a great disaster. I am not clear on all the details, but from gossip I have heard since I was imprisoned here, Oblivion's Shadow may have had something to do with it."

"In fact, he's supposed to have destroyed the entire planet! But then the Savior Deoxys and the Holy Mother Mew repaired it and restored everyone to life," the angel said reverently.

"Well, except for the humans," the demon said. "Why is that, anyway?"

"She probably had Her reasons," the angel said fiercely.

"Mew…that name also causes a strange…resonance in me," the blur murmured. "A positive one, though…affection. Caring. Even…love? Is that what this…sensation is?"

"It's not surprising. Everyone loves Mew," the vampire said. "She's the Mother of us all, after all, both figuratively and literally."

"That She is," the blur said. "But…the whole world, all of humanity, wiped out! This is…inconceivable…How could this Shadow have done something so awful? What would he have had to gain from it?"

"That's another thing we're still working on," the demon said.

"But…if you knew humans, that means you must have lived before the cataclysm. How could you possibly have survived?" asked the astonished Gardevoir. "It was almost a millennium ago!"

"Well, you survived," the angel pointed out.

"Yes, but not without scars of my own," Gardevoir admitted.

"You walked among humans as well?" asked the surprised blur.

Gardevoir nodded. "Yes, I did. However, I don't really remember a lot about it…much like you, I suppose. You see, some time before the great disaster I protected my trainer from a Ninetales' curse, and as a result was transformed into a bodiless spirit for the next thousand years. Recently, however, I was restored to my original form at the cost of most of my memories thanks to the efforts of my friends Ash and Gary-"

"Ash?" the blur burst in astonishment, rising from his chair so fast he knocked it over. "Did…did you say Ash?"

"Yes," said the surprised Gardevoir. "Why?"

"I…that name…I know that name! Yes…Ash…he was a human I knew! He was…my friend…" the blur whispered, sounding as amazed to learn this as the Gardevoirs were.

"What? But that's not possible! Ash is a Lucario!" the demon protested.

"_Now_ he is," the vampire pointed out. "He used to be a human, remember?"

"Yes, from another world! He can't possibly be whoever the Ash our friend here is thinking of, can he?" the demon asked.

"What if they're both from the same world?" the angel suggested.

Gardevoir nodded. "That could be possible."

"Another world? I don't understand," said the confused blur.

"Ash is a former human who was brought to our world to save it and fulfill some sort of prophecy, getting transformed into a Lucario in the process," Gardevoir explained. "After he helped destroy a meteor that was going to collide with the Earth, and broke my curse, he settled in Pokemon Square, since he had no way to get back to his own world."

"…I see," the blur murmured. "And…you think he might be the same Ash I knew?"

"Well, sure, how many Ashes could there be?" the angel said.

"Well, given the near-infinite nature of the Omniverse…" the demon pointed out.

"Ash lost most of his memories when he came to our world, and since our friend here seems to be lacking memories too, perhaps the same thing happened," the vampire suggested.

Gardevoir nodded. "It makes as much sense as anything else."

"And it would also explain why he has memories of humans," the angel agreed. "Humans have been extinct in _our_ world for ages, but it's not necessarily the same in others, right?"

"I…suppose so. Yes, something about that _feels_ right…though not entirely…" the blur murmured, wondering why that was. The hypothesis sounded _almost_ correct, but…there was still something missing… "Ash…where is he now?"

"He's trying to derail Oblivion's Shadow's plans and save us," Gardevoir said.

The blur nodded. "Yes, that sounds like the Ash I…used to know…I think. Do…do you think he could save me too?"

Gardevoir frowned. "Well, that depends. You have no idea where you are, right?"

"I…no, I don't," the blur admitted. "Just that I'm inside my own head, apparently."

"Well, maybe he's another prisoner of the Shadow?" the angel offered optimistically. "If he's somewhere close by, it could explain how our minds were able to connect…"

The demon nodded, seeing where her sister was going. "Yeah, and it might even explain why you're trapped here! Considering all the twisted experiments the Shadow's been up to, one of them might have damaged your mind so much you got locked up like this! Or maybe even retreated into yourself as a defense mechanism, to escape the pain…"

The vampired nodded. "Yes, I've heard of stuff like that happening before."

The blur shuddered. "Experiments…I…yes…I have been experimented on before. I did not…I did not like it."

"You poor thing," the angel said sympathetically, setting her teacup down, getting up from her place, and touching the blur on his shoulder (?). "Don't worry. We're here for you now."

The blur looked startled. "I…thank you. I appreciate that, more than you know."

"Well, that tears it, then…he must be a prisoner of Oblivion's Shadow," the demon concluded.

"Perhaps…" the vampire said, although she didn't seem one hundred percent certain.

"You don't seem one hundred percent certain," Gardevoir commented.

"I'm not, because you aren't," her alter ego pointed out. "While his being a prisoner of the Shadow makes sense, it's also a speedy and possibly incorrect assumption with little evidence to back it up, considering how little we really know about him. Like how he got here—wherever 'here' is-who he really is, and just what's happened to make him like this."

"I…I think I remember…something," the blur confessed abruptly. "Your mention of experiments and of putting myself in here due to some kind of damage jogged my memory. I think…I think I was hurt. Very badly. Everything was taken away from me. I…I lost…" He started shaking. "Everyone who…who I cared about…"

"Ssssh," the angel said, hugging him until his tremors faded. "Relax. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

"N-no. I need to say this," the blur said, though he sounded a little reluctant. "My friends, my family, my home…all were destroyed. The…the pain was so great, I…I shut the world out. I locked myself away and forgot everything so that…so that it wouldn't hurt so much…"

The Gardevoirs exchanged looks. "Hmm…another interesting wrinkle to this mystery…" the vampire murmured.

"So…wait, that means he's _not_ a prisoner of Oblivion's Shadow?" asked the confused demon.

Gardevoir gasped, getting a thought. "No, he still might be. Look, we're operating off the belief that Ash and our friend here both came from the same place, right?"

They nodded. "I think so, anyway," the blur said.

Gardevoir bit her lip. "Well…nobody's really mentioned it in front of Ash, but…there are some who think that the reason he hasn't been able to return to his own world is because…there's nothing for him to return to…"

"…Oh!" the angel gasped. "Then…the loss so terrible our friend here retreated within himself to escape his sorrow…"

"May have been Ash's loss as well…the loss of his friends, his loved ones, maybe even his entire world…perhaps _that's_ the real reason Ash got amnesia?" the vampire suggested. "Because he didn't _want_ to remember everything he'd lost?"

"And it might also explain why he's a prisoner of the Shadow, if he is in fact one," Gardevoir agreed. "Oblivion's Shadow may have found him when he appeared in our world and turned him into a specimen to learn his secrets or how he got here."

"Yes, that could be it!" the angel said, nodding excitedly.

"Oh, Ash…" the blur whispered, horrified. "Not you too…why must fate be so cruel?" He shook his head. "I have been a fool. I made a mistake in doing this to myself. By blocking out the world, I blocked out Ash too, and anyone else I might have known who could have survived…whatever happened. Ash may have needed me, but rather than help him, I was too busy wallowing in my own misery to notice…and now we're both damaged and apart, stranded in a world not our own…and yet you seem to be making a better life of it than I have. Why am I not surprised? From what little I remember of you, I can safely say that this is _exactly_ how you would behave…you always did have a stronger heart than I did."

"Don't say that!" the angel chided. "You have a strong heart too…I can feel it! You have just as much compassion in you as Ash does!"

"…Thank you for saying so," the blur said, touched. "I hope you are correct in believing that."

"So do I," the demon muttered, though she didn't sound too cynical about it.

"Now that you know it was by your own hand you came to be here, do you know how to awaken yourself?" the vampire asked.

The blur shook his head sadly. "Unfortunately, I do not."

"Then we'll help you," Gardevoir said firmly. "The door to your mind appeared in mine. That means you must have reached out to us for help, without even knowing it. That also means we _must_ be able to help you free yourself…and that's exactly what we're going to do!"

"Here, here," the vampire said, applauding her with a warm smile on her face.

"Oh, I'd hoped you'd say that!" said the relieved angel.

"Th-thank you…thank you so much…" the blur whispered gratefully.

"Um, I don't mean to rain on anyone's parade, and I want to help the guy as much as the rest of you, but…do we have time to?" the demon asked uneasily. "I mean, we've got a lot of other things going on. We have to keep careful control over the new vampires the resistance is breeding, help the Teacher keep everyone else in line and make sure our plans bear fruition, reestablish contact with the vampires who managed to escape Bellum and somehow get in touch with Ash in case they don't find him, find out what the Shadow's up to without him finding out how much power we've gained behind his back…is putting one more thing on our already overloaded plate really the best thing to do right now?"

"Of course it is!" the angel snapped angrily.

"No, she's right," the blur said quickly. "That _does_ sound like a lot of work. I don't want to cause any trouble for you."

"If it's to help someone in need, then it's worth doing, no matter how much trouble may come as a result," Gardevoir said firmly, making up her mind. The angel nodded approvingly.

"And besides," the vampire pointed out to the dubious demon. "If he really _is_ a prisoner of the Shadow, which we seem to have decided he is even though we haven't gotten concrete proof yet-"

"What more proof do you need? He's hurt, full of sorrow, and _must_ be somewhere nearby for our minds to have created such a strong link! Where else could he be but somewhere in this dreadful place, being tormented by Oblivion's Shadow?" the angel demanded.

"I was just saying we still don't know for sure," the vampire said defensively. "Anyway, as I was saying, if he _is_ the Shadow's prisoner, then if we help him remember who he is we might be able to learn something that could help our allies defeat the Nihilators."

"…I guess that's true," the demon admitted. "All right, let's give it a shot. However, it'll have to wait for another time."

"W-what? Why?" the blur asked in alarm.

"Because Gardevoir's about to wake up," the angel said. "And when she does, we'll all disappear from this place."

"I am?" asked the surprised Gardevoir.

"Certainly," the vampire said. "Don't you feel it?" Gardevoir frowned and realized to her surprise that she did. Her vision was slowly going out of focus, and she felt a 'tug' of some kind back in the direction of the door they had come through into this place.

"You're leaving? N-no…please, you can't go!" the blur said desperately. "I don't…I don't want you to go! I don't want to be alone again, now that I remember what it _means_ to be alone!"

"I'm sorry, but we have no choice," the angel said sadly, her white skin becoming more luminous and translucent as she slowly began to fade away. As the blur stuttered unhappily, she wrapped her arms around him. "But don't worry. It won't be forever. We'll be back, I promise."

"You…you will?" the blur asked, calming down.

"Well, yeah," the demon said as she pointed to the open door, her red skin shimmering as she burst into flames. "We still have easy access here, don't we?"

The vampire nodded as, bit by bit, she dissolved into shadow. "Now that the connection between our minds is open, so long as neither of us chooses to close it, we can come in here whenever we want. Well, anytime Gardevoir is asleep or in her subconscious, anyway."

"I promise I'll come right back to see you the next time I'm asleep, or have enough time to myself to dive back down here," Gardevoir promised as her vision worsened and the blur grew…blurrier. "It may take a little while, but I promise we'll come back. This isn't the last you'll see of us. Remember, no matter what…you aren't alone."

"…I…thank you…" the blur whispered.

"And besides," the demon said with a wink. "There's no reason you can't come over and visit. _We_ may not be able to cross over without Gardevoir around, but there's no reason you can't."

"That's true," the blur admitted. "I will consider that option. But should that possibility not be available to me…then I will wait for you, no matter how long it takes."

"And I will do my best to make sure it will not be that long a wait," Gardevoir said. Her vision grew dimmer, and one by one her figments disappeared; in a flash of light, in a burst of flames, in an implosion of darkness. "So, until then…"

"Until then…" the blur echoed wistfully.

"Farewell," Gardevoir said.

And then she awoke back into the unpleasant reality that was her life. She found herself wishing she could have continued dreaming a little longer.

…

Wow. That was almost as hard as the finals, if not harder.

And that's most likely it for 2010! I'll look forward to seeing you all again in the New Year. Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy Holidays, and have fun freezing to death while I'm living it up in sunny Africa. Thanks for reading!


	52. Frozen Fury

Welcome back, everyone! It sure has been a while, hasn't it? Sorry, but I didn't get a lot of time to write in Africa (which was AWESOME, by the way), and I let myself get distracted by playing too many video games I got over the holidays (Those were awesome too.) and then school started, and you can guess the rest. Regardless, I'm here now, and so is this chapter. I hope you'll find it worth the rather long wait.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me. I could list all the things I've appropriated/ripped-off, but that would take forever and you don't really care, right?

…

_Please…don't die…_

"Daddy! Daddy Daddy Daddy!"

_I'm so sorry…_

"Daddy! Wake up! Wake up! WAKE UP!"

"Gah!" Ash jerked awake, nearly knocking off Tiny, who'd been sitting on his chest and making it difficult for him to breathe. Gasping and wiping away sweat as the room swam into focus and the horrible nightmare he had been having retreated into the furthest reaches of his subconscious, the Lucario blinked and stared at his foster son, who had an elated expression on his face and was practically bouncing up and down on his stomach with joy. "Ugh…what…what is it, Tiny?"

"It's snowing!" Tiny said gleefully, turning to the windows. "Isn't it pretty?"

Ash looked out the window and did a double take when he saw that the landscape the Enchanted Express was steaming through was not grassland or a barren desert, but a vast glittering expanse of snow with more of the white stuff falling from the dark skies overhead every second. Towering mountains could be seen in the distance, getting larger as the train approached them, and a shimmering aurora twisted through the skies, but something about it seemed…off somehow. "Whoa…"

"Are we at the South Pole, Daddy?" Tiny asked hopefully.

Ash blinked and stared at the Pupitar in confusion. "Huh? What are you talking about?"

"Leo told me that there's a magical train called the Christmas Express that takes good little boys and girls to the South Pole to meet 'Santa Christ,' some kind of demigod or good spirit who delivers presents to the children of the world on Christmas, a holiday that rolls around once a year in the middle of winter that apparently used to commemorate the winter solstice and the rebirth of the sun, but has now been heavily commercialized to the point that almost nobody remembers that anymore and just focuses on the presents!" Tiny said excitedly. He frowned. "And he gives coal to the bad kids…I know it's only recently I started loosening up, but you don't think he'd give me coal, do you?"

Ash stared at Tiny incredulously. "Tiny, it's not even close to Christmas. And we're on the _Enchanted_ Express, not the Christmas Express!"

"But we're on a magic train, just like the Christmas Express! See, their names are almost the same! And besides, if we aren't at the South Pole, then why is it snowing? We were supposed to be passing through a big desert, and it doesn't snow in deserts!" Tiny said stubbornly. "Er…does it?"

"Sometimes, but not this much," Ash said. "It's snowing because we must have entered the region Bellum's put under that Fimbulvinter spell Lily told us about."

Tiny stiffened. "Oh…you mean…the one that she killed an entire town to cast?"

Ash nodded. "I'm afraid so." He closed his eyes and scanned the winter wonderland with Aura-sight. A chill went down his spine as he looked at the snow with his sixth sense. There was something…_evil_ about it. "Yeah…if we were at the South Pole, I guarantee it wouldn't feel this sinister."

Tiny nodded sadly. "I guess that means we aren't going to meet Santa Christ, then."

"If anything, we're going to see someone even nastier than the Gronch," Ash said.

"The who?" Tiny asked.

"A lonely and jealous monster that stole all the Christmas decorations and presents of the town of Whatville in an attempt to make everyone as miserable as he was, but then he learned that Christmas is about more than that stuff and had a change of heart, or to be more precise, his heart grew three times its original size, which somehow didn't cause his chest to explode," Ash explained. "Something I rather doubt will happen to Bellum."

Tiny nodded in agreement. "Yeah, especially given all the horrible things Lily's said about her. I bet Santa Christ gives her a ton of coal every year…if he exists."

Ash frowned. "Why wouldn't he?"

"I dunno…it just sounds a little unlikely. A guy living at the South Pole who can somehow travel all around the world in a single night and give presents to every household without being seen?" Tiny asked skeptically.

"Given some of the other things that exist in our world, is it really that hard to believe?" Ash pointed out. He smirked. "And I can tell you for a fact he exists. I met him myself back when I was a human!"

"Whoa! Really?" asked the amazed Tiny.

"Yeah! Well, except he was Santa _Clause_ then, not Santa Christ," Ash recalled. When he had experienced his first Christmas in Pokémon Square, he'd been confused about why everyone was talking about some guy named Santa Christ who lived at the South Pole rather than Santa Clause, who lived at the _North_ Pole. At first he'd chalked it up to either garbled legends or this world being different from the one he'd come from, but then Father Yamiri told him that Santa Clause had died heroically trying to protect the children of the world from the great cataclysm a thousand years ago, and was reincarnated as Santa Christ once the planet was put back together, an even cooler version of the Christmas spirit that could shoot lightning from his fingertips, fire lasers from his eyes, liked pancakes, cured the sick, erased traumatic memories, had a rocketship and a motorcycle rather than a sleigh, played bass in a band with other holiday spirits, surfed in space, liked pancakes, made really good fondue, mended curtains for free, fought giant monsters, and liked pancakes. "You see, Team Rocket had taken over his workshop at the North Pole-"

"I thought he lived at the South Pole," Tiny interrupted.

"He does _now,_ back in my day he lived at the North Pole, but after the Savior fixed the Earth there wasn't enough left of the North Pole for Santa to build a workshop on, so he moved south of the Equator," Ash said. He frowned when he heard himself say 'my day.' It made him sound old, which, come to think of it…he sort of was. How disturbing.

"Oh," said Tiny.

"Like I was saying, Team Rocket had taken over his workshop. It was sort of our fault, since we _led_ them there while trying to get one of his Jynx workers who'd gotten lost getting one of his boots fixed or something back home. They were about as dangerous as ever—namely, not—so we were able to help Santa and his Jynx and his telepathic Lapras drive them out so he could make his deliveries on time," Ash said.

Tiny frowned. "Lapras aren't telepathic."

"Yeah, but this was Santa's Lapras, so it was magic or something," Ash said. "And he gave all of us exactly what we wanted, even Pikachu! Although…I can't seem to remember what that was anymore…it was a long time ago, after all." He frowned. "And his sleigh was pulled by a Ponyta for some reason…which doesn't really make sense, why didn't he use Stantler like he's supposed to?"

"Maybe Stantler didn't exist then?" Tiny suggested.

"…Tiny, Stantler have _always_ existed. It's not like they were spontaneously discovered some time afterwards along with a hundred other new species of Pokémon and then everyone pretended that they'd always known about them and they'd been around forever or something, that would be silly," Ash said.

"True. Anyway, you got to meet Santa! That's so cool! What was he like?" Tiny asked.

"Not as awesome as he is now, as Santa Christ, or so I've heard," Ash said. "But since its Santa Christ, that's forgivable. I think Briney's one of the few people as cool as he is."

"Well, Santa _was_ only human at the time, so that's understandable" Tiny said.

"…Tiny, _I'm_ human," Ash said pointedly.

"No, you _used_ to be a human. You're a Lucario now, which is much better," Tiny said happily. Ash grunted, uncomfortable with how much he found himself agreeing.

There was a knock on the door. Ash went to open it and found Ritchie waiting outside. "Hey Hiori, we just got a message saying everyone needs to meet up in Fantina's car," the other Lucario said. "Are you and Rico ready?"

"Yeah, just hold on a sec," Ash said. He turned to Tiny. "Rico, we need to head out. I'll tell you more about Christmas another time."

"Oh, he thought we were heading to the South Pole too?" Ritchie asked. "Funny, my kid said the exact same thing! He was so disappointed when he heard we weren't going to see Santa Christ…"

Ash's eye twitched. "…Right. Anyway…we'll meet you there in a minute." He closed the door.

"I like him, but that guy and his friends kind of give me the creeps," Tiny commented.

"…Yeah, me too," Ash admitted reluctantly.

After getting their robes on, they left their quarters and went with Team Getem to join everyone else in Fantina's suite. Much like the previous night for Brodie's interrogation, just about everybody onboard the train had come to join them, except for the engineer and a few other staff in the engine car, who were attending via telepresence through a crystal ball. Even the vampires were there, since the clouds outside blotted out the sun so they had no reason to fear the light of day. "It's incredible that there's already so much snow out there…" Rose murmured as she stared out the windows. "If I didn't know better, I'd have never believed this was a desert just last night!" Palmer, Dawn, and Sasha all looked at the vista with slightly wistful expressions on their faces, since it reminded them of their homelands, far from here. Would they ever return there? Sasha had a home to go back to, but did the last two ninjas of the Dragon's Claw?

"Well, I suppose just about anything is possible with magic," Captain Salty said.

"That it is!" Goldor boasted.

"I've been through this area more than once…and I certainly don't remember those mountains being there," Todd commented. "They make for some good photos, though." He snapped a few pictures.

"They may make good pictures, but they feel…wrong to my senses," Sasha said with a shudder. "There is much danger here."

Ritchie nodded. "Yeah, Hiori and I felt it too. This snow is evil!"

"Funny, I've always thought of snow as neutral until now…" Sam said.

"Not when it's made by Bellum it isn't," Butler commented.

"The spirits are restless. The spirits of ice are too powerful here, their strength and overwhelming presence quashing out all others except the wind, which helps to spread their influence…this is a dangerous imbalance of the forces of nature. This cannot be allowed to continue," Rebecca said ominously.

"I'm guessing this is due to Niflheim bleeding through to our reality?" Looker asked Lily, who had quickly been designated the go-to girl for information on this phenomenon seeing as she was the only one who seemed to know how it worked, something that flustered her and made her uneasy, since she didn't like being the center of attention.

"Um, yes," Lily said, blinking and reluctantly looking away from the eerie arctic vista. "And this is just the beginning. The longer Fimbulvinter is in effect, the more this part of Sinnorre will be transformed into Niflheim. If it continues unhindered, there's not only a chance that this area will permanently become part of Niflheim…but it's possible that it will spread. I doubt it'll engulf the entire world, or even the rest of the continent, but it will certainly cover a great deal of territory and destroy the homes and livelihoods of thousands of Pokémon."

Lady Bow shook her head in disgust. "And Bellum won't care in ze slightest. If anyzing, she'll probably set up camp here, make it 'er new base of operations."

"What an awful womon," Silvia said in disgust.

Fantina nodded. "She 'as always wished to rule over a place like zis, a land of eternal winter. It was 'er dream even back in our youzh. She got ze idea from 'Ze Luxray, Ze Sorceress, and Ze Wardrobe.' I suppose ze fact zat she idolized ze Silver Sorceress should 'ave been an obvious sign from ze start zat zere was somezing wrong wiz 'er, but too many people ignored ze warnings until it was too late."

"Well, unless some pseudo-religious feline god analogue or four human children from another world show up in the near future, I don't think we can defeat Bellum the same way they offed the Silver Sorceress," Diane said.

"Well, every spell has a counterspell. At least, that's what my tutor says," Buck recalled.

"Yes, that's true," Palmer agreed.

"That it is, lad," Briney agreed.

"Then that means there must be a way to reverse the effects of Fimbulvinter, right?" Pikachu asked.

Lily nodded. "Fortunately, there is. Niflheim is not the only elemental plane out there. A number of others exist elsewhere in the Omniverse, each representing a fundamental power or force of nature. One of them, Muspelheim, realm of eternal flames, may be of use to us in dispelling Fimbulvinter."

"Oh, I see…fire to cancel out her ice?" Dean realized.

"Simple elemental physics," Butler said.

"Well, yeah! Everyone knows fire rules!" Zippo said with a smirk.

"Except when water puts it out, boy," Leo said.

"Not if the fire's too big and hot," Zippo countered.

"Which is why you just keep pouring on the water until it gets extinguished," Leo said.

"Which won't be a problem if the fire's so strong all the water does is make it hotter and impossible to go out!" Zippo said.

"Then it's a good thing there's usually more water than fire around, so you can just keep on dumping and dumping until the fire's drowned!" Leo retorted. They glared at each other, their earlier camaraderie forgotten, and Pikachu and Sparky unconsciously sighed in relief. Then they each realized the other had sighed, and stared at each other for a moment, feeling weird for some reason neither of them quite understood.

"Uh, but won't summoning Muspelheim here just replace one problem with another one?" Ash asked doubtfully. "How is turning an expanding arctic wasteland into an expanding flaming wasteland going to help matters?"

"We won't be summoning Muspelheim, just something from it," Lily explained. "A powerful enough entity from the world of fire should be strong enough to shatter Bellum's enchantment and send this portion of Niflheim back where it belongs."

"And we do that…how, exactly?" Lu asked.

"Especially considering the last elemental summoning in these parts required the sacrifice of hundreds of innocent people…" Bruno growled.

"Ooh, ooh, if we're going to kill people, can I be the executioner?" Max asked hopefully. "I always get to throw the switch back home!"

"That will not be necessary," Lily said quickly, as horrified as everyone else by the idea of giving Max power over life and death.

"Since it's a basic summon, not nearly as much power as Bellum required to create zis monstrosity will be needed," Fantina assured them. "Sister Lilandra and I will take care of everyzing. Since our souls are bozh attuned to fire, we should be able to call forzh a strong enough entity from Muspel'eim wizout 'aving to pay any…unpleasant prices."

"Well, that's a relief," George said as the tension eased out of the room.

"Guess we don't have to worry about any ritualistic sacrifice…" Cruise said.

"This time," Butler said.

"Awww, but I wanted to cut out someone's heart and incinerate it as an offering to some dark god!" Max complained.

"Maybe next time, little buddy. There's always Arbor Day," Sam said.

"My favorite holiday, next to Christmas, and my birthday, and Easter!" Max said.

"Why is-" Buck started to ask.

"I don't think we really need to know," Pikachu said loudly. "So, you need to summon something from Muspelheim. Can we do it right now?"

"Unfortunately, no," Fantina said. "For one zing, we need to make a number of preparations. For anozzer, we can't do it until we are closer to ze epicenter of ze afflicted region. If we were to summon ze fire spirit 'ere, when we are still just on ze fringes of Nifl'eim, ze summoned beast would release a great blast of fire magic zat would melt a sizable chunk of ze landscape…and leave ze rest untouched, allowing it to flow back in and fill in ze void once ze creature departed. If we summoned it from ze middle of ze realm, 'owever, ze fire magic would flow outwards zhrough ze channels already created by ze Fimbulvinter spell and banish every last trace of ozzerworldly ice from ze realm. Everyzing Bellum called 'ere would be sent back to where it came from."

"Which is what we're aiming for," Palmer stated.

"Even though it means we must go where it is most dangerous and Bellum's power is strongest to do so," Sasha said, her fur standing up as she sensed danger growing nearer as the Enchanted Express kept speeding straight towards it.

"Well, at least it should be a good fight," George commented, stringing her crossbow.

"There's more to life than fighting," Bruno said, which was odd considering he was some kind of legendary fighting master. And a Fighting Pokémon, who lived for brawls. "But if it's going to be a big one, which I'm certain it is, it would probably help if we knew what we were getting ourselves into. Cherry, I don't suppose your oracular powers can give us an idea as to what lies ahead?"

Rebecca snorted. "Fat chance getting her to tell you something like-"

"All right, I think I can do that," the Girafarig said.

The Hypno did a double take. "Wh-what? You're actually going to tell us something useful about the future for a change?"

"For something this important? Of course I will," Cherry said. Rebecca gawked.

"Zen what sort of forces does Bellum have arrayed against us?" Fantina asked.

"Since she is the one who brought them here, all the beasts of Niflheim will heed her call," Cherry reported. "Dire wolves. Trolls. Ice dragons. Frost giants. And maybe even the queen of Niflheim herself."

Fantina gasped. "Not Shiv'el?"

"I'm afraid so," Cherry said solemnly.

"Oh dear…zis does not bode well…" Bow murmured, fanning herself.

"No, it certainly doesn't," said an alarmed Butler.

"Dear Shaymin in the Eternal Fields, we may be in some serious trouble here…" Leo said, looking worried.

"On the plus side, it'll be some seriously _sexy_ trouble!" Zippo joked.

"Heh, true dat!" Leo agreed. They grinned at each other, their previous feud forgotten. Their girlfriends frowned, and Pikachu and Sparky groaned.

"Uh, pardon me, but…who's Shiv'el?" asked a confused Ash.

"It's pronounced 'Shivhel,'" Todd corrected. A dopey look came over his face. "Mon, I wouldn't mind getting a picture of her…"

"Could I have a copy?" Zippo asked hopefully.

"And me?" Leo asked.

"And me?" asked…Cruise? "What? I'm curious," he said when everyone stared at him. "I wanna know what the big deal is about her."

"I could tell you, but I'm not supposed to know about that sort of thing," Buck said.

"That's right, you're not!" Silvia said.

"Shiv'el is ze ruler of Nifl'eim, a beautiful but cruel queen whose 'eart is as cold as 'er domain, if my recollection of interplanar politics is correct," Fantina said.

"It's a toss-up which is worse, actually, her or Bellum," Briney said, recalling what he'd downloaded from Leo's mind.

"…So now we've got _two_ insane ice sorceresses to worry about?" Pikachu yelled.

"And one wasn't bad enough?" Sparky commiserated.

"Two for the price of one? That actually sounds like a pretty good bargain," said Max, probably the only one to feel this way.

"We should have gotten off this train when we had the chance!" Buck moaned.

"Well, there's no helping it now, we'll just have to take both of them down," Looker said.

"Shivhel is an incredibly powerful and ancient ice goddess, now joined forces with an already incredibly powerful and extremely evil ice mage. How are we supposed to take them _both _down?" Rebecca asked incredulously.

"With guns?" Sam suggested.

"Ooh, or flamethrowers! I have a couple on me," Max said.

Everyone stared at him. He wasn't wearing any clothes or carrying a knapsack or anything else that could possibly be used as a container. "Where?" Dean asked.

"None of your damn business!" Leo and Zippo said at once. They burst into laughter, causing Pikachu and Sparky's eyes to twitch.

"Hey, I was going to say that first!" Max complained.

"'E 'as a point, literal firepower will make short work of bozh of zem, we just need a strong enough flame," Fantina mused. "Hmm, if Shiv'el's 'ere, zen we'll need to summon an even more powerful entity from Muspel'eim zen I anticipated…good zing I know just ze one to call upon!"

"Um, Fantina, is that such a good idea?" Lily asked uneasily. "If you're thinking of the being I think you are…I'm not sure it's safe to call upon someone as temperamental and dangerous as he is."

"Don't worry, 'e owes me a few favors," Fantina assured her. "And besides, 'e and Shivhel 'ave a…'zing' of sorts, so 'e'll be more zan willing to 'elp against 'er!"

"Well, yes, but can just the two of us summon him?" Lily asked doubtfully. "I'm nowhere near as experienced as you are…"

"Then perhaps I can be of some assistance?" Rebecca offered. "Summoning's not my thing, but as a spiritualist I know a thing or two about elemental beings from worlds beyond our own. Maybe I could help you call and tame this beast from Muspelheim."

"Yes, zat could work," Fantina said gratefully. "Your aid is most appreciated."

"What about me, my bodacious babes?" Zippo offered. "You may have an affinity for fire, but I'm a _genuine_ bona fide Fire Pokémon. Is there anything I can do?"

"Can you do magic?" Lily asked.

"Well…no," Zippo admitted. "But I have something that is!"

Sparky frowned, realizing where the Charmeleon was going. "Now wait a moment, should we let them know about-"

"Oh come on, we're all among bros here, aren't we? Besides, they know we have the Plates after that whole terrorist attack last night, don't they?" Zippo pointed out.

"…I suppose," Sparky admitted reluctantly.

"What Plates?" Silvia asked.

"The things that the Rattata wanted, I think," Briney said.

"Oh! The sixteen Plates of Arceus!" Silvia gasped.

"That's right, the guy last night implied that you have those, don't you?" Bruno asked.

"Well, some of them, anyway," Happy said.

"And they aren't the real Plates, just representations of them," Rose said. "But they still have a genuine connection to Arceus, so their power is real."

"As is their danger," Cruise said.

Salty nodded. "Which is why we're trying to gather as many as we can before Judgment. They have a bit of a leg up on us in that department, but so long as we manage to keep a few out of their clutches, they have no way of unlocking their full power for their plans."

"But I think we can use the power of the Flame Plate in this summoning spell you're trying to pull off," Zippo said, taking out a rectangular red plate of an unknown material. "With this, you should be able to cast it with no problem!"

"Holy Arceus in Heaven," Pikachu murmured, making the sign of Arceus's Wheel at the sight of the Plate, as did the more devout Pokémon in the room. Todd snapped a picture.

"Oh my…" Bow whispered reverently.

"Incredible…" Goldor murmured.

"It's magnificent…" Diane said.

"It's good thing we're fine with holy icons, or we'd probably be dead by now," Vladimir commented to Dean, who nodded in agreement. Bob drooled on the floor.

"Eh, I've seen cooler toys," Max said, unimpressed.

"And when he says toys, he means it," Sam said.

Max sighed. "I wish I hadn't had to blow up that toybox…"

"Oh, wow!" Leo said, staring greedily at the plate. "Is it true that they give the holder godlike power and immortality?"

"No," Zippo said sadly. "I should know, I've tried."

"Awwww, mon," Leo said in disappointment. Both Pikachu and Sparky sighed in relief, and then looked at each other again in surprise and wariness.

"They can if all sixteen are gathered together, which is why we have to keep them away from Judgment so Light of Justice can't use them to conquer the world," Ritchie said. "On their own they're still pretty powerful though, and have been a boon in our fight against Judgment and our other enemies more than once."

"And now zey may be a boon in our fight against Bellum as well…" Fantina murmured, staring at the Flame Plate in awe. "I never zought I'd see anozzer one of zese! Yes…yes, I zink zis will do nicely, don't you, Lilandra?"

"Oh yes, most certainly! With this to serve as a focus and power source, we should be able to call the being in question with no problem at all!" Lily said excitedly.

"Heh, told you!" Zippo said smugly.

"Wait, what was that about thinking you'd never see _another_ one?" Looker asked.

"I happen to have zhree Plates in my collection," Fantina admitted. "Ze Sky Plate, Earzh Plate, and Icicle Plate, to be precise. I was never really able to do anyzing wiz zem since zeir elements weren't my specialty, so I've just kept zem at my estate wiz all my ozzer magical artifacts for ze time being."

"Dammit!" Goldor swore under his breath. "She just has to rub it in how she has so much more than everyone else, doesn't she?"

"Dear!" Silvia hissed.

"We knew that, actually. We were meaning to ask you if we could have them if we got the chance," Lu said.

Cruise nodded. "Yeah, it's why we hitched a ride on the same train as you in the first place!" Team Aurabolt's eyes bugged out of their skulls and they exchanged incredulous looks, stunned by yet _another_ eerie parallel between their quest and Team Getem's.

"We'll talk about it later," Fantina said as she lifted the Flame Plate from Zippo's claws. "For now, I zink we can use zis one to do some real good!"

"I say, just how many other Plates do you have?" Goldor asked Ritchie innocently.

"They're not for sale," the Lucario said flatly.

"Drat," Goldor grumbled as Ash nodded in approval.

Leo frowned, not wanting to be outdone by the Charmeleon. "Well, uh…that's pretty nice, but in case that doesn't work, I have a pretty cool heat source that might help, too!" he said, causing Pikachu to groan as he realized what was coming. "Hold on just one second, y'all!" He retracted briefly into his shell and popped back out holding a very familiar portable heater. "Behold, the Thermonuke 8500, one of the most powerful portable heating devices on the planet!"

"Why were you carrying that around under your habit in the first place?" asked the confused Rebecca.

"To keep me warm on the long, cold winter nights like this, duh!" Leo said.

Sparky groaned. "Oh no, _another _one?"

"Oh wow, I didn't even know the 8500 was on the market yet! I'm still stuck with the 6000 model!" Zippo said excitedly.

"It's not. I was able to get a unit early by ordering it in advance. However, only 100 units were available for pre-orders, so I had to stay up until four in the morning to make sure I placed my order the instant the order form appeared on the website so that I could get my bid in before everyone else," Leo said. "And even then, I was only able to qualify for a pre-release model because I've spent over fifty thousand Poke' on products made by the same company in the last year, so am one of their 1000 Most Valued Customers."

As everyone stared at Leo incredulously, Zippo smacked his forehead. "Ohhhh, that explains it! I've only spent a total of thirty-five thousand, so they wouldn't have told me about something like that. I guess I have a long way to go, huh?"

"Don't worry, boy, you'll make it some day!" Leo said, though secretly he hoped it wouldn't be anytime soon. He liked the Charmeleon well enough, but something about him felt…unsettling for some reason…

"You spent _how much?"_ Pikachu asked incredulously.

"Where…where did you get that much money?" a stunned Ash asked, positive that Leo couldn't possibly have spent that much of his share of Barbedo's hoard already.

"Online gambling, mainly," Leo said.

"…I thought womon of the cloth weren't supposed to be into vices like gambling…or spending vast sums of money on material possessions…" said a confused Todd.

"Boy, are you a member of the Sisterhood of the Bountiful Gracidea?" Leo demanded.

"Er…no…" Todd said.

"Then don't go jawing off about things you don't understand! Don't you go hatin' on my religion, or I'll whup you upside the head!" Leo shouted, smacking Todd, only to gasp and hop back, clutching his hand in pain. "Ow, ow, ow…your skin is harder than I thought it would be…" Everyone sweatdropped.

"Er…anyway…we'll consider zat as a backup, Leonora dear," Fantina said gently as Lily healed Leo's sore palm.

"Zhough not a very likely one," Bow murmured into her fan.

"Do you think you can use any of the other Plates in your possession to help us fight?" Bruno asked Team Getem, deciding to pretend the last few minutes had not happened.

Ritchie nodded. "I think so. We don't have many, and the individual Plates can only be used by Pokémon of the same Type as them, but I think we can use the few in our possession to help turn the tide against Bellum's goons."

"Speaking of which, I wasn't done debriefing you on what we have to worry about," Cherry spoke up; somewhat annoyed they'd forgotten about her.

"Oh yeah…sorry about that," Palmer apologized.

"So what else does Bellum have in store for us?" Vladimir asked.

"Aside from the denizens of Niflheim, Bellum herself will be there to challenge Fantina personally. Not only will she have an army of ice elementals, but her daughter Marianne will also be present," Cherry continued, causing Lily to fidget.

"I'll take care of zat sparkplug," Bow said dismissively. "I'll make her pay for ruining my birzday!"

"I spent two weeks working on that cake…and she ruined everything!" Diane said angrily. "And it was such a nice cake, too!"

Fantina nodded sadly. "Yes, it was..."

"In addition, Bellum will be aided by a Weavile by the name of Paul Yami," the Girafarig went on, looking meaningfully at Dawn and Palmer.

The two ninjas and the rest of Team Aurabolt stiffened in horror. "Paul Yami?" Ash shouted. Tiny shuddered, remembering what Dawn had shown them of the twisted ninja in her mind and what he had done to his father at Battlus.

_Paul is here? So…it looks as if our paths have crossed again sooner than I expected,_ Dawn thought coolly to herself, narrowing her eyes as Pikachu looked at her in concern. _How…fortuitous. It looks as if our fates shall finally be fulfilled._

Palmer growled angrily. "He's here, is he? That bastard…I think I'm actually looking forward to this. He's going to pay for what he's done…"

"What _has_ he done?" asked the confused Todd.

"Yes, I thought he was just some fighter, a regular attendee at tournaments like the recent one at Mt. Battle…the one where he disappeared mysteriously, come to think of it…" Goldor murmured.

"Eyewitness accounts said he vanished into the mysterious ship that tried to blow up the volcano at the end of the tournament," Looker said. "After the Draconian Empire started spreading news about the Nihilators and our vampiric friends here were freed from Bellum, people started wondering if perhaps Paul might have some connection to them."

"It's true, he does!" Dean said before any of Team Aurabolt could say anything. "He's one of their top enforcers! His ill-gotten immortality played a big part in getting as high up in the ranks as he did, but from what we heard he lost his powers in a big fight at the recent Mt. Battle tournament and has been desperately trying to regain them ever since." Dawn smirked to herself as she heard this, Palmer smiled surreptitiously (though he was somewhat disappointed Dawn hadn't completed the job) and Ash tried very hard not to resemble his mustached fighter alter-ego, Gonzales.

"He was evil all along? And to think I wasted good money betting on him!" Goldor cried in disbelief. "I don't believe this!"

"I don't believe you've been gambling again! You promised you wouldn't!" Silvia said angrily. Goldor flushed, realizing he'd made a big mistake.

"It's not zat 'ard to believe, really, when you zink about it…'e was kind of an asshole," Bow said.

George nodded. "And excessively brutal, even for professional fighting!"

"With no honor or dignity…" Bruno agreed in disgust. "And he was immortal, too? That explains a lot…how disgraceful."

"Yeah, I didn't envy that other Lucario who went up against him, the poor guy," Ritchie said sympathetically, causing Ash to cough loudly and try even harder not to resemble Gonzales while Pikachu tried not to look like Minus, Leo tried not to look like King K, Sasha tried not to look like Night Slash, and Tiny tried not to look like his younger self.

"I suppose we were lucky that we lost the tournament before we had a chance to face him in the ring," Sparky said.

"Daddy could have taken him!" Cruise said loyally.

"No he couldn't have," almost everyone in Team Aurabolt said. When the rest of the passengers looked at them in puzzlement, Ash coughed and said, "Er, that's what I've heard, anyway."

"Um, yes, so have I," Pikachu agreed.

"Yes, quite a nasty bloke, wot," Briney said.

"That guy was one evil mofo, from what I saw of all his matches!" Leo added.

"Isn't professional fighting a little…too gratuitous for a womon of the cloth to watch?" Lu asked skeptically.

"I can watch whatever the Abyss I want! Shaymin never said nothing about what we could or couldn't watch on TV in our downtime!" Leo said stubbornly.

"…So…she _did_ say what you could or couldn't watch on TV in your downtime?" asked a confused Happy.

"Stop hatin' on my religion!" Leo shouted, bringing an end to that line of conversation. Everyone sweatdropped.

"Yeah, you're probably right," Ritchie agreed. "He did seem pretty strong…"

"So he was immortal? I always figured he was cheating somehow…" Looker murmured. "Except I thought he was on steroids or Rare Candy. How'd he obtain immortality?"

"I think he got it from some magic scroll he stole from some ninjas or something," Vladimir said, and Dawn and Palmer tried not to look conspicuous.

"And he couldn't just use it again?" Todd asked.

"I think he lost it or something," Vladimir said.

"Psh, lame! Some immortal," Max sneered. "If I got that kind of power, I'd never let go of it that easily!"

"Nothing like how you blew up the Toybox that was the source of your powers, you mean?" Sam asked.

"Hey, it was that dummy's fault, not mine!" Max denied.

"However he lost it, I'm glad he did. Immortality should not belong to one as cruel and irresponsible as he," Bruno said sternly, something everyone else could agree with.

"Still, if he's no longer immortal, he shouldn't be that difficult to defeat, should he?" Silvia asked.

They stared at her for a long moment. "…You've never watched him fight, have you?" Sasha asked finally.

Silvia frowned. "No, I always found those tournament things Gastly and uncivilized. Why, is he any good?"

"He's really…something, that's for certain," Ash said wryly.

"Something else that's certain is Bellum's final ally," Cherry warned them.

"And that would be…?" Pikachu asked.

"Articuno," the Girafarig said.

Everyone gasped, and Ash stiffened. "Articuno?" Bow cried. "Ze legendary icebird?"

"But that's impossible! Articuno is a legendary Pokémon! Why would she be working with the Nihilators?" Diane asked.

"Oh, you'd be surprised how many legendary Pokémon are in the Nihilators…er…at least, that's what I've heard," Lily said awkwardly.

"He's right actually. Both legendary elemental trios are among the Nihilators," Dean reported. "All of them as very powerful Shadow Pokémon."

"Then that means they must have been brainwashed or tortured into it or something," Sparky insisted. "Because there's no way a legendary Pokémon could ever willingly be a part of a group that's trying to destroy the world! They are our guardians and protectors, not our enemies!" Leo nearly choked trying not to laugh hysterically at how ridiculously incorrect that statement was.

"If she's become a Shadow Pokémon, then that means I have to purify her and restore her sanity," Ritchie said. "Hiori, you'll help me, right?"

Ash clenched his fists, memories of Articuno ripping out Brock's eyes before freezing him into a sculpture and shattering him flashing before his eyes, followed by the visceral recollection of how he had imploded her so hard she became a black hole. "Sure…I'll 'help…'" Tiny and Pikachu looked at him worriedly, having a good idea of what was running through his head.

"I don't think they were coerced into it," Vladimir said uncertainly. "But if you think there's any way to change her mind, you're welcome to try it."

"And that's exactly what we'll do!" Cruise said, unaware of how wrong he was. Tiny shook his head quietly.

"Articuno is wiz zem…zat is…very troubling…" Fantina murmured.

"It doesn't matter if they have a god on their side…or two, if that Shivhel lass counts," Briney said. "We're jolly well going to take the blighters down one way or another, eh?"

"Yeah, gods are a lot easier to kill than you'd think," Sam agreed.

Max snorted. "It doesn't take much to get them crying for their mommies, the wusses."

"I don't care _what_ forces they have arrayed against us, we'll cut them down where they stand nonetheless," Sparky said valiantly. "We can do no less in the memory of the people of Dusty Ditch."

Palmer nodded. "Yes, very well said."

"And for all the business investments I lost there," Goldor lamented.

"I still wish we'd gotten off a while back when we had the chance…" Buck complained.

"Nobody asked you, dear," Silvia said.

"Well, I suppose it'll make for some good pictures," Todd said optimistically.

"Heh, and some good stories," George said.

"I guess this doesn't really change anything, then," Salty said.

"Other than the knowledge of how horribly outnumbered we are?" Rebecca said pessimistically. "I'm assuming we're outnumbered. There's gotta be hundreds of them waiting for us, right?" Cherry nodded. Rebecca sighed. "I thought as much…"

"That just means our victory is guaranteed, thanks to the law of conservation of ninjutsu!" Zippo said right before Leo could.

"You're aware that's almost never worked for us in the past, right?" Sparky asked.

"It's gotta kick in sooner or later!" Zippo insisted. Pikachu and Leo glanced at each other, a little spooked.

"While we may be outnumbered, nearly all of Bellum's minions share the same weakness," Vladimir pointed out. "Namely, fire."

"So we just need to burn them to death. That shouldn't be too hard!" Leo quipped.

"Yeah, killing things with fire is easy and fun, even when they aren't ice monsters from another dimension!" Max agreed.

"Then it's a good thing we have fire, and lots of it," Lily said, conjuring a fireball.

"Because we will need as much as we can to survive zis battle," Fantina agreed. "Sister Lilandra, let us begin our preparations. It will not be much longer before we reach our destination, so let us be as ready as we possibly can be for whatever Bellum zrows at us."

"That goes for the rest of us as well, I suppose," Looker said.

"Naturally," Butler said.

"But what do these preparations entail?" Ash asked.

"I think I may have a few ideas…" Leo said with an eerie grin.

"Heh, so do I," Zippo said with an identical grin. They started laughing maniacally, causing their friends to exchange worried glances. Max joined in, since it seemed fun.

"Thank you for telling us about all this, Cherry," Bruno said. "It was very informative."

The Girafarig smiled. "I'm glad I could be of service."

"I have just one question…why are you telling us all this? Not that I'm complaining, but you've almost never been this specific, informative, and helpful in your predictions before!" Rebecca said.

"My predictions have rarely been this important before. Without proper foreknowledge of the forces arrayed against us, our defeat is almost certain. _With_ proper foreknowledge, however, we have a very good chance of surviving," Cherry said.

"Then does that mean we're going to win?" Todd asked hopefully.

Cherry hesitated. "…That, I'm not sure of. It could go either way. The only thing I'm absolutely certain of is that _I_ won't die, since I already know when and how that's going to happen and that's not here."

Everyone sighed in disappointment. "Figures…" Sam grumbled.

"When and how _are_ you going to die?" a curious Cruise asked.

"I'd rather not say," Cherry said firmly.

"Lousy oracles…they never tell you anything important about the future when you need it most!" Goldor groused.

"Didn't she tell us a lot of useful things just now?" Buck asked.

"Nobody asked you, dear," Silvia said. Buck grunted.

"I don't know for positive if we'll win or lose, but I believe that if we have everything ready by the time we get to Dusty Ditch, then we have a pretty good shot of beating Bellum," Cherry said.

"That's good to know," Cruise said optimistically.

"What I'm not sure of is if all of us will make it out or not," Cherry said.

"That's bad to know," Cruise said, upset. Everyone else exchanged worried looks. Vladimir and Dean, who were near the top of Bellum's hit list, swallowed nervously.

"Ronin, I don't suppose your soothsayer can give us any insight on this rather unpleasant subject?" Briney asked. "After all, Absols are supposed to know when people are going to die or something like that, eh wot?"

"Why yes, that's right, they can! Or so all the rumors say!" Vladimir said, perking up.

"Can you tell us if we're going to die?" Happy asked anxiously.

"Because if we are, I'd really like to know in advance, so I can do something to avoid it," George said.

"Actually, if she knows in advance you're going to die, it'll be an absolute and inescapable fate and there's nothing you can do to avoid it," Lily said. "Which would be rather depressing, I should think."

They considered this for a moment. "That it would be," Diane admitted.

"Yeah, totally," Leo agreed.

"Still, I would like to know, even though I'm not sure I'd like the answer," Sparky said.

Palmer shrugged. "I suppose I'd like to know as well, since that means we can plan some sort of suicide attack to ensure we take out as many of our opponents as possible. Go out in a blaze of glory and all that, so our deaths won't be wasted. Assuming we die, that is."

"Well, Kutabe?" Pikachu asked, uncertain he wanted to get a reply.

Sasha closed her eyes briefly. "The chances of us dying are high, but it is not absolute for any of us." They sighed in relief until she continued, "That doesn't mean none of us will die, just that none of us are predestined to die here. It could still happen. Do not get careless and think yourself invincible, because that kind of careless thinking will get you killed just as easily as any of Bellum's lethal spells or minions."

"That's true," Bruno said, nodding in agreement. "We shouldn't let ourselves get overconfident, or we could make a fatal mistake."

"Still, the fact that we aren't doomed to die here in this wasteland is pretty good news," Ash said. "Since it means we have a good chance of winning and getting out with everyone in one piece, right?"

Sasha and Cherry nodded. "Correct," Cherry said.

"It will be difficult, but I believe if we are very careful and do our best, we may all live to see our final destination of Fichina," Sasha agreed.

Fantina nodded sagely. "Wise advice, Kutabe. We shall all remember zat."

"Remember what? I wasn't paying attention," Max said. Everyone sweatdropped.

"Well, you'd better act on that advice quickly and get ready, we'll be in Dusty Ditch, or whatever's left of it, in a little less than an hour," the engineer Ampharos said through the crystal ball, startling everyone because they had almost forgotten she was listening in.

"That long? That's odd, I thought it was closer than that," Goldor commented.

"It's going to take us a little longer than usual to reach town because the rails are all iced up and we're having to exert extra power to thaw them out while fighting against the super-strong wind blowing all over the place. We have to divert magic from the engine to do that, slowing us down as a result," the engineer explained.

"That's actually not a bad thing," Butler commented.

Diane nodded. "Yes, it gives us just a little more time to prepare ourselves."

"Zen let us use it wisely, because we will need every second of it if we are to conquer ze forces of Nifl'eim!" Fantina declared.

…

As it turned out, they didn't actually need every second, though almost all of it was accounted for by the time they were finished. The mages had pooled their abilities to apply temporary runes onto everyone's chests that would not only keep them from freezing to death in the subzero temperatures outside but also provide them with a degree of resistance to Ice-based attacks and spells so that Bellum couldn't do anything like freezing all the liquid in their bodies at a snap of her fingers. Both the passengers and the train staff were given these runes, so that everyone had a better chance of surviving. Additionally, extra runes were added to apply a Fire-type attribute to their attacks, even the ones that were already of other elements, so that every punch or spell or energy beam they fired would damage their enemies. (Naturally, Leo was elated when he got the ability to spew flaming water. Everyone else, not so much.) Extra spells of protection and strength were also cast over everyone to boost their general offense and defense and make it more likely for them to survive against the frozen hordes of Niflheim. Bruno was the only one who missed out on all these spells because he was covered in runes that made him immune to magic, but he was tough enough alreaday that everyone figured he'd be fine without them.

On a more specific level, after trying for several minutes to grill Cherry for any other information to no avail, Rebecca invoked the spirits of earth, air, and fire to give them yet another layer of protection and retreated into the engine car with Lily, Fantina, and the Flame Plate. There they intended to use the alchemical furnace powering the train to fuel their summoning spell. Butler and Diane went off to have a…private moment, while Bow commanded the Abra waiter and a few of the conductors to attend her in her room for a similar private moment, pronto. None of them dared refuse. Briney enviously watched the Goldor family bicker about strategy and useful spells, knowing they didn't know how lucky they were to have each other. Knowing he'd probably be forced onto the front lines rather than just taking pictures from a safe distance, Todd practiced the (sadly limited) spells in his repertoire and stocked up on Pester Balls, a special gadget he often used to stun angry celebrities whose personal space he had violated and create smoke screens to make a fast getaway. Sam and Max took out their flamethrowers and the overenthusiastic Max very nearly had to be physically restrained to keep from using his to burn the train to ashes. Looker reviewed the fighting techniques he knew and kept an eye on his target, not intending to let the criminal get away in all the chaos of the upcoming fight. With Pikachu's permission, Palmer took Dawn aside to get more detailed information about Paul's abilities and moves, and began imparting the basics for the very powerful ninja skill he intended to teach her if they made it out of this alive. Team Getem got their gear ready and prepared the Plates in their possession for battle, intending to use them in the fight. After tinkering with their Thermonukes to make them ludicrously more powerful, Leo and Zippo decided to use their mechanical prowess to boost the Enchanted Express's weapons systems, much to the astonishment and consternation of the staff and the gratitude of the security team. George restocked her arrows and prepared some of her more specialized anti-Ice ammunition while Bruno meditated to concentrate his power to its peak. Vladimir and Dean wandered around feeling a bit useless and uneasy, briefly considered turning some of their companions into vampires to boost their numbers, decided that probably wasn't the best thing to do, and resigned themselves to wait for the fight to start and do all they could to help out. Bob, lacking the brainpower necessary to worry about the future, contented himself by licking his testicles. Ash tried to quell the anger hearing Articuno was one of the Nihilators had instilled in him while Tiny did his best to help. Pikachu reluctantly put away his decoy sword and removed Thunder Fang from its hiding place, knowing he would need its power and hoping nobody would recognize it. (Then again, since Bellum was probably going to recognize Lily eventually anyway, some might say their cover being blown was inevitable.) He found himself wishing he hadn't left behind the samurai armor he'd obtained from Barbedo's hoard, something like that would have come in handy in the coming battle. Brodie sat in the same binding spell he'd been stuck in since last night, wondering when anyone was going to feed him or remember he was there. He was getting hungry.

While all this took up most of the interlude between them and Dusty Ditch, there was still a little time left over for a few meaningful and character-developing conversations before they reached their stop and had to begin battling for their lives, as there always is at times like this. Pikachu, who had been doing katas in his room with Thunder Fang, looked up when Palmer and Dawn entered the suite, trying to hide the expression of relief on his face. Sasha, who had been doing her best to keep from getting zapped by the bolts of electricity arcing off the blade, did not bother hiding hers. "You're back! Does that mean you're ready to use that new move I've been hearing about?"

Dawn shook her head regretfully. _I have begun training for it since last night, but I have not mastered it yet. Attempting to perform it in my current state will have a better chance of killing me than it will Paul._

Pikachu blanched. "Oh. That doesn't sound good. Is it that dangerous, then?"

Palmer nodded. "It's the Dragon's Claw clan's most powerful technique, one that few enemies can stand against and only our greatest ninjas could pull off. I believe Dawn is capable of performing it, but…not now. She isn't ready. If I had another day or two to instruct her, she might be, but there's no way I could do it in the time we have left."

"A pity Fantina hasn't perfected that 'time expansion' magic I've been hearing about, it sounds like something we could use to get in more training time," Sasha commented.

Pikachu nodded in agreement. "Not just Dawn, but all of us…oh well. Things are never that easy for us. Dawn, do you think you're ready to face Paul? The last time, it didn't…quite end well."

_What do you mean, Master? I almost killed him,_ Dawn said.

"Yes, keyword being 'almost.' You missed by the slimmest of margins," Palmer lectured sternly. "A novice's mistake. I expected better from you than that, Dawn."

Dawn bowed her head in shame. _I know, Master. I promise that next time, my blade will not miss its mark._

"I hope it doesn't," Palmer said. "But if it does, I'll be there to make sure Paul doesn't get away with his life this time. He's no longer immortal, so if he manages to escape the both of us, we will have truly dishonored the memories of our fallen brethren and are not fit to call ourselves ninja." Dawn nodded in agreement.

"Um, you're not going to…kill yourselves if you fail, are you?" Pikachu asked in alarm.

Dawn shook her head. _No, we have too many other obligations to do that. But it will be very difficult to remove the stain of dishonor from such a humiliating failure._

"Oh." Pikachu fidgeted. "That's…yeah, I guess it would be."

Sasha rolled her eyes. "You samurai and ninja are too hung up on honor."

"Without honor, we are little more than common killers," Palmer said sternly.

"And with it you're uncommon killers?" Sasha asked skeptically.

Palmer glared. "I would not expect you to understand."

"But I do, which is why I want to help," Pikachu volunteered. "May I fight alongside you? I would like to see Paul dead as much as you, after all the things he's done."

"…I am gratified that you would make such an offer," Palmer said, touched and pleased to see that Dawn had truly picked a good mon to devote her life to. Certainly not like some of the other samurai he'd run into over the years! "However, this is a matter only we can deal with. Paul was one of us, and his betrayal has all but destroyed us. It is only meet that we repay the favor. It is the only way to avenge our friends and allies that Paul so callously discarded and slew."

_Master, I know you wish to help us and I am grateful, truly I am, but…this is something only Master Palmer and I can do,_ Dawn said apologetically. _Please allow us to handle Paul on our own. It is what our honor demands, and our vengeance._

Pikachu nodded reluctantly. He didn't like it, he supposed he could order her otherwise, but both of them knew he would never do something like that. "I understand, though I wish you would reconsider. If that's what you wish, I'll leave Paul to you. However, if you have any need of me, any need at all, contact me through your badge and I'll be there as fast as I can to help."

"_All_ of us will," Sasha said, butting in. "We are a team, which means Paul is our enemy as much as he is yours. While you may have more of a past with him and a greater reason to hate him than any of us (well, except for Ash, I suppose), that does not mean we do not despise him and wish to see him defeated as well. He has hurt you in the past. You have _shown_ us how he has hurt you. And we would like to repay the favor, if you will let us."

Dawn's ears nearly ripped themselves out of her braid in surprise. _I…thank you. Both of you. I…I do not think I will take you up on that offer, but…just knowing that you would give it so willingly means the world to me. I cannot think of anyone in this world who would make better friends or a Master than you. _Palmer coughed, and Dawn stiffened. _Er, other than you of course, Master!_

Palmer chuckled. "It's nothing to worry about, Dawn. I don't mind. You're right, I think you hit paydirt when you ran into Team Aurabolt. I don't believe anyone else could have given you the compassion and love they offered, the friendship that helped you become more like the eager young ninja trainee I remember, the one who always ran around the fortress spying on her teachers and tried to assassinate the chef and came over to hang out with…" He hesitated. "With…my son…" His wings drooped.

…_Don't worry, Master,_ Dawn said, putting a paw on his knee. _We will avenge them. Barry, Zoey, Kenny…my parents…the entire Clan…today, Paul will finally face justice._

Palmer smiled. "Of course he will. How could he not, with you by my side?" Dawn blushed, Pikachu grinned, and even Sasha managed a small smile.

Out in the hallway, Sam, Max, and Looker loitered around in boredom, having been tossed out of their room by Butler and Diane, who were now using it for 'private business' that Max did not seem to understand, even though he'd engaged in similar business with his wife the First Lady numerous times. "Why'd they have to pick our room to do stuff in, anyway?" Max complained. "Don't they have a nice enough room in their own car?"

Looker shrugged. "Maybe they felt like slumming it."

"Then they should go to a real slum, not our room!" Max said. Looker rolled his eyes.

"What do you suppose they're doing in there?" Sam wondered.

Looker coughed. "Well, I could venture a pretty good guess, but-"

"No, not them, I mean our friends the samurai and his phony retinue with that wizard Dragonite. What's their connection to that guy?" Sam voiced.

"Oh, Kairyu's not an actual wizard but a ninja of the same clan that Dawn is, and they're probably discussing their plans to kill Paul, whom I have long suspected to be a former ninja himself and the destroyer of the fabled Dragon's Claw ninas," Looker said.

Sam and Max stared at him in amazement. "How could you possibly know that?" Sam asked incredulously.

"And if he's a ninja, how'd he convince everyone he was a wizard?" Max asked.

"Ninja tricks. And I know because I'm a detective," Looker said. "These things become obvious to spot after a while."

Sam frowned. "Well gee, I've been a freelance police officer for years but I never suspected a thing…"

"…Yes. Well. Ninjas are sneaky," Looker said, deciding not to voice the first, rather disparaging, thought that had come to mind.

"So that dragon's a fraud? That big orange faker! I'm gonna tell everyone he's a phony!" Max said, opening his mouth wide. Sam promptly tackled Max and wrestled with him on the floor, clamping a hand over his mouth. Max bit it, and Sam winced as it broke the skin, knowing he'd need to disinfect that later. Looker shook his head in exasperation, wondering yet again what he'd been thinking when he let these idiots hitch a ride with him. He was broken from this train of thought when the door to their room flew open and an incredibly black-and-blue Todd was flung out, crying out as he hit the floor and jarred his dislocated limbs and broken ribs. "And if I ever catch you doing something like that again, I'll kill you, drag your soul back to this world, and install it into one of the servitor homunculi at the Fantasma estate, namely the one responsible for tending the garden!" the enraged Butler shouted before slamming the door shut.

"Wow," Max said. "That guy was really pissed!"

"Well, that's certainly a dire punishment," Looker said.

"Really? That doesn't sound so bad," Sam said.

"The Fantasma estate's gardens occupy several hundred acres of land and are made completely of rare magical plants, many of which are sentient and even more of which enjoy eating gardeners," Looker said.

"Oh," Sam said.

"Eh, still better than Darla's garden. Remember when that Super-Gro fertilizer got mixed into it and created a giant plant monster that almost covered the whole world in its roots?" Max asked.

"You mean the Super-Gro fertilizer _you_ mixed into it, despite Darla explicitly telling you not to?" Sam said.

"I thought it'd make the lawn of the White House look more interesting! And it worked!" Max said triumphantly.

"Until we burned it down, covering the planet in a giant cloud of smoke that blotted out the sun and nearly caused a new Ice Age," Sam said.

"Which meant it was Christmas for a whole year, especially after I 'acquired' the North Pole through perfectly legal means," Max said innocently. "Totally worth it!"

"So was sneaking in there to spy on them," Todd gasped, wincing in pain as every breath hurt. He groaned and cast a healing spell to try and mend his (many, MANY) wounds.

"What exactly were you doing in there?" Looker asked.

"And what were _they_ doing in there? And why did that big one-eyed guy have white stuff all around his mouth?" Max asked.

"I didn't even know that _was_ a mouth," Sam said. "And now I wish I still didn't know."

"I was…taking pictures," Todd grunted as his bones knitted themselves back together and his limbs realigned. "It's what I do."

"Did you get a picture of what they were doing?" Sam asked.

"Yep!" Todd said, sticking out his tongue and extruding a photograph from it. Sam, Max, and Looker stared at it wordlessly for several seconds. "Well? What do you think? Pretty good, huh?"

"Eh, I've seen worse," Max said nonchalantly. "Hmm, though that does give me a few ideas for what to do with the First Lady once I get home…how do you think Darla would look in a maid outfit, Sam?"

"That is an image I would rather not contemplate, little buddy, much like the one on this picture here. Well, there's another horrible memory I must wad up into a tiny ball and throw into the furthest corners of my subconscious and repress for all time," Sam said.

"At this rate, the wastebasket of your brain is going to overflow from all the other repressed memories you tossed in there and cause you to devolve into a gibbering wreck with no control over your bowels and salivary glands as the sheer horror of everything we've ever done drives you completely insane…and I'm gonna burn it onto a CD and put it on the Internet for everyone to see!" Max said cheerfully.

"Will you show it to me when I get better?" Sam asked.

"Sure thing!" Max promised.

"I'll take that, if you don't mind," Looker said, snatching the photo off of Todd's tongue.

"Oh, I didn't know you were into that sort of thing, Detective," Todd said in surprise. "You know, I have plenty of other pictures of that…nature lying around, if that appeals to you at all. Would you care to see?"

Looker narrowed his eyes. "Yes. Yes, actually, I think I would."

"Great! Come with me to my studio, and by studio I mean my room," Todd said, casually wrapping a wing around the Croagunk's shoulder and leading him down the hall.

"Huh. That's funny, I didn't think Looker was into that sort of thing…" Sam murmured.

"You mean ogling illicitly taken pictures of people caught in the act?" Max said "Guess he has hidden depths. Good to know he's not such a straight-laced boring law enforcer!"

"Either that…or there's something else going on here…" Sam murmured suspiciously.

"Going on where?" George asked as she approached the duo.

"Oh, Sam thinks Looker may be up to something with Todd," Max said.

George frowned. "Really? I can't see them working together, or being…partners. "

"Well, sometimes odd couples can make the best partners, just like me and Sam, right Sam?" Max said, completely missing the other meaning of George's comment.

Sam nodded. "Yep, I can't think of anyone I'd rather want to be with, even if there are times I want to grab a sledgehammer and smash his skull in until there's nothing left but a bloody pile of brains and formerly white fur."

"Just like there are times I want to eat you!" Max added.

"That's all the time, Max," Sam said. "It's kind of creepy."

"If you stopped looking so delicious, I wouldn't fantasize about eating you all the time!" Max said. "I can't help my appetites!"

"That's what diets are for, Max," Sam said.

"Oh come on, you know no diet is _really_ effective, they're just a celebrity or would-be health guru's attempt to take advantage of people's constant fear of being morbidly obese to make lots of cash," Max said.

"That's not true!" Sam protested.

"Sure it is. How's your current diet going for you?" Max asked.

"…Well…I lost half a pound this month…" Sam said awkwardly.

"Uh-huh. And how much weight have you lost since you started this diet six months ago?" Max asked.

Sam's shoulders slumped. "…Half a pound."

"I rest my case," Max said triumphantly.

"…Right. Anyway," George said slowly, deciding to pretend they hadn't said anything. "Are you guys ready for the battle?"

"I think so. Are you?" Sam asked.

George patted her quiver and the bandoliers she'd flung across her chest. "Yep. I've got all the ammo I need to take down these ice monsters…I hope."

"Meh, not nearly as nice as our guns," Max commented, unimpressed.

"Which is why I was wondering if you could set me up with one?" George asked hopefully.

Sam shrugged apologetically. "Sorry, but any spares we had were in the DeSoto, which is still MIA. I've always suspected Max secretes them, though…Max, think you could give her one?"

"No," Max said bluntly.

Sam shrugged. "Well, guess that's that, then."

"Oh well," George said, shrugging it off. "I'm fairly confident I can handle myself without one, anyway. Hmm…what say we make a little competition out of this?"

Sam raised an eyebrow. "I'm listening."

"A body count contest. We'll see which of our weapons kills the most monsters, my crossbow and modified arrows or your 'gun,'" George suggested.

"Ah, sort of like our little shooting contest on the roof last night?" Sam asked.

"The one you wouldn't let me participate in for some reason?" Max complained.

George nodded. "That's the idea."

"Sounds like fun. What's the prize?" Sam asked.

The Mightyena considered this for a moment. "The winner gets to make one request of the loser, and the loser can't refuse."

Sam frowned. "I dunno…I can think of a lot of things I could be requested to do, and very few of them are particularly savory."

"Which makes it that much more fun! Do it, Sam! Be a man!" Max goaded.

"I'm not a man, I'm a dog," Sam said.

"Oh. Do it, Sam! Be a dog!" Max goaded.

"I promise I won't ask you to do anything too unpleasant when I win," George said.

"You mean _if_ you win. Oh, all right," Sam said, giving in. "I suppose it wouldn't be that bad. I can't think of a reason not to, anyway…though it'll take me a while to think of anything I'd want you to do."

George frowned briefly, somewhat disappointed by this, but then nodded. "Fair enough. Just so you know, I already know _exactly_ what I want you to do…"

"Good?" Sam asked uncertainly.

"So do I!" Max said giddily.

"You're not playing," Sam said.

"What? Why not?" Max demanded.

"Because you'd make it stop being fun and turn it into something creepy," Sam said.

"You like creepy!" Max protested.

"Not _that_ creepy," Sam said.

"Fine!" Max snapped, folding his arms across his chest and pointedly turning his back to Sam. "Go play with your new friend! See if I care!"

"Okay, I will," Sam said obliviously, much to Max's consternation. George chuckled in bemusement. Those two were something else…

Meanwhile, in Ash's room…

"Daddy, are you okay?" Tiny asked in concern.

Ash, who had been staring out the window with a melancholy look on his face, started. "Hmm? Oh, sorry, Tiny. Yes, I'm fine."

"You don't _seem _fine. And your Aura's been fluctuating weirdly," Tiny said in concern. "It's Articuno, isn't it?"

"…Yeah. It is," Ash admitted. "You…know that her and I have a history."

"Just like you and Manaphy, and Darkrai, and Cresselia, and the other birds, and a bunch of other legendary Pokémon?" Tiny asked.

Ash grimaced. "…Yeah. But unlike Darkrai and Cresselia, who've sort of forgiven me (I think), and Manaphy, who was more pitiable than really evil, Articuno is…a complete and total murdering bitch. I'm…not sure I want to purify her."

"But Daddy, she's a Shadow Pokémon!" Tiny protested. "You _have_ to purify her! It's your duty as an Aura Guardian, isn't it?"

"…Well, yeah, I guess," Ash admitted. "But…"

"But what?" Tiny asked.

"What good will it do?" Ash asked. "Articuno was practically evil even before she was turned into a Shadow Pokémon, or at the least incredibly selfish and self-absorbed. The first time I ran into her, she and her siblings had a stupid fight that almost destroyed the entire world. And then she…she and the others _killed_ my friends on the flimsiest of justifications, and tried to kill Darkrai and Cresselia rather than apologize!"

"Even if she's a horrible person, that doesn't mean she deserves to be a slave to the Nihilators," Tiny said.

"Who says she's a slave? How do you know she's not a willing member?" Ash asked. "The three legendary beasts apparently joined the Nihilators willingly and accepted the power of Shadow, and I always thought those three were among the most noble and reliable of Pokémon! If they could be turned so easily, is it that hard to believe that she might have signed up at the first chance she got, too?"

"Daddy…I know you're angry at what she did to you a thousand years ago, but how do you know she hasn't changed since then? It's been a very long time, after all," Tiny said.

"Because I fought her several months ago while Pikachu and I were on the run from Pokémon Square, in the forest where we first met Sasha. For the same stupid reasons as just about everyone else she thought that I had somehow caused all the natural disasters occurring then and tried to kill me rather than at least waiting long enough to hear an explanation," Ash said bitterly.

"…Oh," Tiny said awkwardly. "Well…okay, I admit that's pretty bad, but…look, if you don't purify her, what are you going to do? Kill her?"

"I don't know," Ash admitted. "Maybe."

"If you do, then how will you be better than Manaphy?" Tiny demanded.

"Because I have a legitimate reason to want to kill her, and I haven't allowed my desire for vengeance to turn me into a monster," Ash insisted.

"Didn't you come pretty close to becoming one when Oblivion's Shadow attacked you in Treasure Town?" Tiny asked pointedly. "And you still don't even know _why_ you hate him so much!"

Ash flinched. "That's…a very good point, Tiny. I hadn't thought of that."

"You and Aaron and that magical book you keep reading are always talking about how Aura Guardians fight for justice, not revenge, right?" Tiny asked. "And while the line between them can sometimes be pretty thin, knowing which side of it to stay on can sometimes be the deciding factor between staying a true Aura Guardian…or turning into a Dark One. Or even worse, a Void Pokémon, which is what we're trying to prevent you keep from becoming, right?"

Ash considered this for a moment. "…Yeah, it is. I guess…I was letting my anger cloud my judgment a little, wasn't I? I hate Articuno, but I can't let that lead to me acting the way I did that night in Treasure Town. Once I start down that path, there's no guaranteeing I'll be able to make it back."

"Of course you will," Tiny said gently. "As long as me and the rest of us are here, we'll always be there to pull you back from the brink. It's what friends are for, right? You taught me that, though it took me a while to get it."

"It certainly did," Ash agreed. He smiled fondly. "And you seem to have learned a thing or two about Aura that I almost forgot. You're growing up so fast, Tiny. It seems like just yesterday that you hatched from your egg after falling from an exploding hot dog-shaped rocket ship and landing on my head."

"It wasn't yesterday, it was a couple of weeks ago," Tiny said.

"Ah. That would explain it," Ash said.

Tiny smiled. At least Ash thought he did, his eyes looked happy. "So, what are you going to do when you face Articuno?"

"I'm going to subdue her and help Ritchie purify her. We'll find out whether or not she's changed any or learned her lessons, or if we can really open her heart. And if she still tries to kill us, well…then I'll have no choice but to do whatever is necessary to stop her. But I won't do it out of anger or a desire for retribution. That happened once already, and I don't intend to let it happen again," Ash said firmly.

"Yay!" Tiny said, tackling Ash and almost knocking him to the floor. Ash laughed…

And a thought occurred to him. "Hey, does this mean that if we run into Hunter J again, you'll be practicing all that stuff you were telling me to do?"

Tiny stiffened. "…We'll see," He said noncommittally.

Ash sweatdropped. "I guess I'll have to accept that for now."

"Yes," Tiny said. "You will."

Meanwhile, in the engine car…

The engineers watched in awe as Fantina, Lily, and Rebecca enacted the summoning spell to call forth a being from the fires of Muspelheim to aid them. The trio stood or floated in an ornate magical triangle they'd drawn on the ground, each of them ensconced in a circle placed at one of the points, their eyes closed and mouths murmuring incantations under their breath as incredible magical power crackled in the air around them, causing many of the more delicate instruments in the room to go haywire, much to the exasperation of the chief engineer. She was especially upset at the reaction the spell was causing in the alchemical furnace, the immense magitek contraption taking up most of the room radiating heat and light beyond all safety parameters, generating power greater than any it had managed to put out before. It didn't look like the engine would explode or anything like that, but the way it was humming and glowing made her uneasy.

So did the way everyone in the triangle was glowing. Fantina almost seemed to have transformed into fire, Lily was surrounded by dancing flames, and fiery serpents swam in circles around Rebecca. The greatest flames of all rose from the crimson Flame Plate placed in a special circle in the center of the triangle, surrounded by several rings of runes intended to contain and focus its power to keep it from exploding outward in a conflagration which would consume the entire train. The flames began crackling harder and abruptly leapt into the air, streams of fire rising from the furnace, the three mages and Plate, and converging above the triangle, creating a ball of fire like an incandescent miniature sun, slowly growing in size as more and more power was fed into it.

"Wow," one of the engineers, a Magneton, said. "That's really hot."

"Yeah, Duchess Fantina and Sister Lilandra look really sexy all concentrated and fiery like that," another engineer, an Aron, said.

"No, I mean that's _really_ hot, as in my metal is practically melting here," the Magneton gasped, wiping away oily sweat.

"Oh. Yeah, it's that, too," the Aron said.

"Will you stop gawking and help me out over here?" their Ampharos boss snapped as she frantically worked the levers and dials controlling the engine. "This thing doesn't run itself, you know! Which is stupid, since it's magic, so it _should_ be able to run itself…"

"You know, that's actually a good point," the Magneton said.

"But if it could, we'd be out of jobs," the Aron pointed out.

"Which is also what you'll be if you DON'T GET OVER HERE!" the Ampharos shouted, causing her minions to yelp and rush back to their stations.

With an audible grunt of effort, Fantina, Lily, and Rebecca trembled and stepped out of the triangle…leaving three flame-shaped effigies of themselves behind. They panted and shook briefly from the exertion of their casting, sweat or the ectoplasmic equivalent of it rolling down their brows. "Phew…that was…something else," Rebecca gasped, wiping her forehead and shaking her pendulum to get some embers off of it.

"Amazing…I've never felt such _power_ coursing through me…I didn't even know I was capable of something like that!" Lily said, adjusting her wimple.

"You 'ave always had power like zis inside of you…you just never 'ad ze right opportunity, or teacher, to unlock it until now," Fantina said with a proud smile as she regained her composure.

"So, are you three done?" the Ampharos asked, not looking up from her console, hoping they would leave and let her engine run smoothly again. And maybe they could take that big ball of fire with them…

"Not quite," Fantina said. "Even wiz all of us working togezzer, it will still take some time before ze ally we 'ave summoned arrives. Ze magic involved to bring 'im 'ere is _very_ complicated. Unfortunately, we don't 'ave time to do all of it ourselves, what wiz Dusty Ditch and ze battle waiting zere fast approaching, so we 'ad to compromise by leaving a small portion of ourselves be'ind to continue casting ze spell while we join ze ozzers in ze big fight."

"Hence the fiery images of ourselves," Lily said, gesturing at the flaming simulacra standing in the triangle.

"Ah," the Ampharos said. "And when your friend gets here, will he damage my engine?"

"…Maybe?" Rebecca said uncertainly.

"If he does, you're all paying for it," the Ampharos said darkly.

"Zen it's a good zing I 'ave lots of money, yes?" Fantina said brightly. The engineer grunted but admitted this was true.

"So, what now?" Lily asked as they left the engine car.

"Now we catch our breazs and prepare for ze climactic battle," Fantina said. "And maybe freshen up a little. Rebecca, would you like to come back to my room? I 'ave a few zings zat could do wonders for your complexion."

"…We're practically minutes away from one of the biggest battles of our lives and you're concerned about how I look?" Rebecca asked incredulously.

Fantina smiled. "One must always endeavor to look zeir best. It tells ze world zey 'ave confidence in zemselves, even in ze face of certain deazh."

"Hmm. Thanks but no thanks. My appearance has never been particularly important to me…mainly because I can't actually see it," Rebecca grunted. "You go on ahead, I'm going to see if I can't pry a few more things out of Cherry before we hit town."

"Very well. Good luck wiz zat," Fantina said.

"Thanks, I'll need it," the Hypnos said as she left.

"Fantina, I don't mean to criticize, but…_is_ this the best time for this?" Lily asked.

"Certainly. You'll want to be feeling your best when you confront your mother, _non?_" Fantina asked.

Lily fidgeted. "…Yeah, I guess…"

Fantina raised an eyebrow at her tone, but didn't say anything…yet. Instead, they headed back to the Duchess's room, where they found Bow being very…active. "Oh, 'ello Mama, 'ello Lily!" the Drifloon called from the mess of bodies on the bed. "Would you like to join in?"

"Maybe next time, dear, Lily and I are going to freshen up," Fantina said, sounding completely undisturbed by what she had caught her daughter doing.

"Okay, 'ave fun wiz zat," Bow said as she went back to what she was doing.

"Come, Lily," Fantina said as she gently guided the shocked Misdreavus towards the bathroom. "Let's leave 'er alone."

"But-but she…why is she…what was…" Lily stammered.

"We're Mewrians dear, remember? We have certain…appetites. It is also customary to 'ave a good one before a big battle, somezing to remind you of ze joys of life and what you are fighting for or somezing like zat," Fantina said.

"Oh," Lily said, still a little pale. "Um…then why aren't you…"

"Because I zink you and I need to 'ave a few words before zis starts, which is a bit more important at ze moment zan making love," Fantina said.

"Ah," Lily said. She paused, a horrifying thought occurring to her. "And _only_ words?"

Fantina blinked. "_Que_? What do you…oh. OH." She flushed. "_N-non,_ nozing like zat! I'm not zat kind of person!"

"R-right. Just checking," Lily said in relief.

They entered the bathroom, leaving Bow to her fun. It was, like the rest of the suite, palatial and luxurious, Lily noting with a slight hint of envy that it was the size of the room she and Leo were sharing. Its architectural style strongly resembled an ancient Aroman bathhouse, with mosaic tiles on the floor, friezes on the walls, magnificent fluted columns, steaming hot tubs, and a dazzling array of modern beauty products and items for hygienic treatment. "Float in front of ze mirror, dear," Fantina said, gesturing to the large mirror taking up the upper half of one wall over the sink, which was big enough to bathe several baby Pokémon in.

"Okay, but what's…oh!" Lily said in surprise as an invisible force removed her habit and wimple, letting her long hair out, which a levitating brush and comb began to vigorously tend to. A bottle of eyeliner rose up and a small brush started applying itself to her eyes while some lipstick uncapped itself and began rubbing around her mouth. "F-Fantina, is this supposed to happen?"

"Yes, it's just ze room's enchantments at work," Fantina said as she closed her eyes, her hat floating off and allowing her own lengthy hair to flow out and be brushed while similar appliances went to work on her face. "Relax, it's nozing to be afraid of."

Despite this assurance, Lily couldn't help jumping when she felt an invisible pressure on her shoulders…only to sigh in relief when it began massaging her. "Ohhh…what is this? It feels so _good_…"

Fantina smiled. "Zat's ze wonderful zing about magic, Lily. When used properly…it can make ze world a better place for everyone."

Lily's face fell, tensing up and forcing the invisible masseuse to work harder. "And when used by someone like Mother, it makes the world just a little worse."

"Are you afraid to face Bellum, Lily?" Fantina asked.

"Yes, very much so," Lily confessed. "I haven't really brought it up before, but…I'm absolutely terrified. I haven't seen Mother since I left to join Team Aurabolt in Twilight's Edge. She must have been furious that I ran away. And now I've joined up with you, her worst enemy. I've seen her at her worst, but I can't imagine how angry she's going to be when she sees me again, angry at how I've betrayed and abandoned her. She scared me all the time when I was her prisoner. But now that I'm her enemy…I know all too well the things she can do to people she hates, and I'm frightened at the thought of her doing those things to me, or the people I care about."

Fantina cocked her head. "You do not zink you can defeat her?"

"No," Lily said miserably. "I'm not even sure I can _fight_ her. She outclasses me in knowledge, power, experience, and willingness to commit evil. Plus, I'm so conditioned to submit to her from all my centuries under her thumb I'm not even sure I can fling a spell at her for fear of how she'll retaliate. How can I possibly face her?" She made a face. "Especially because my presence will not only alert her to the fact that the rest of the team is here, but that you possess one of the Star Badges…meaning she'll try even _harder_ to kill all of us, and bring down the full wrath of the Nihilators on our heads."

Fantina sighed. "Zat is true. I suppose it was inevitable zat sooner or later, your true identities would be revealed. It was a valiant effort, trying to disguise yourselves to protect bozh your mission and mine, but I do not zink zat will work for much longer. 'Owever…zere may be a way to prolong ze masquerade for just a little longer. I can put a glamour over you to try and 'ide your scars and magical signature, but I am uncertain 'ow long zat will 'old up to Bellum's scrutiny. You are 'er daughter, after all, and your ectoplasm cannot be concealed from 'er forever. It is ze same as her own, after all."

Lily grimaced. "Is it worth the effort, then?"

Fantina shrugged. "Zat is up to you. If you are worried zat fighting Bellum will expose your friends…or if you are simply too scared to fight her…you could stay on ze train and 'elp ze staff keep everyzing in one piece. If you are in 'ere, it is unlikely she will know you are present, and ze secrecy of your quest will remain intact."

Realizing Fantina was offering her a way out, Lily seriously considered it for a moment. Since it would be helping her friends in a roundabout way, she could justify it as being more than just a desperate attempt to keep out of Bellum's reach and avoid having to see the unquenchable rage in those crystal-blue eyes. There was nothing shameful about helping from the sidelines. Surely her friends would understand…right?

B disagreed. _You can't do it, Lily._

_Why not?_ Lily asked.

_You have to face Bellum eventually. It's inevitable. Your destinies are intertwined, and you know it. You can't just stand back and let someone else deal with her. Sooner or later, you're going to have to fight her, both to save the world and to prove to her, and to _yourself_, that you have grown up and surpassed her in every way._

_But I haven't done any of those things,_ Lily protested.

_Haven't you? You chose to break free from her. You have real friends and a Pokémon who loves you, which is more than she'll ever have. You may not have her power and experience, but you'll get those eventually. What you really lack is the confidence to confront her and show her that you're not her plaything anymore. And if you avoid her this time, you'll try and use the same excuse to avoid her the next time, and the time after that, and the time after that, until every time there's even a chance she might be around you'll be hiding under a table while your friends risk their lives to drive her away. And we both know that's _not_ something you're going to let happen, is it?_ B challenged.

…_No. You're right. It's not,_ Lily admitted reluctantly. "Thanks but no thanks, Fantina. Mother may be your nemesis, but…as her daughter, it's my responsibility to fight her too. I can't stand aside and allow other people to fight her in my place. No matter how scared of her I am, I…I can't let her hurt my friends or anyone else because of me."

Fantina looked at her for a long moment. "Zen you will fight her, even zough it may expose your friends and make zings even 'arder for all of us?"

"I have to," Lily said. "Sooner or later, it's something I'm going to have to do, so it might as well be now, right?"

"But aren't you afraid of her?" Fantina asked.

"Terrified," Lily said. "But…I can't let that get in the way of doing what's right. I won't stand back and stay in the relative safety of the train while my friends are out there risking their lives for me and for everyone else. I will fight with them, and with you, even if it means I must face Mother and expose our secret. It's what I have to do."

Fantina nodded, a smile slowly coming to her face. "Excellent. Zat is just what I 'oped you would say, Lily. And in doing so, you 'ave already proven yourself to be a far better person zan your mozzer ever could 'ave been. It is because of zis zat you will one day defeat 'er once and for and all."

Lily blinked in surprise. "What? No, don't be silly! That's…that's something you'll do. You've been fighting her for longer than I've even existed, and have greater power and magic than I. How could I possibly best Mother for good when it's something you've been struggling to do for centuries?"

"Because you are stronger zan you zink you are, Lily. I can see it in you…ze potential to be a greater mage zan your mozzer, or even me!" Fantina said seriously.

Lily flushed, and not just because the enchanted instruments were trying to apply blush to her cheeks. "E-even if that's the case—and I'm not saying it is—I probably won't achieve that potential for a very, very long time."

_Oh, I wouldn't be so sure…_ B said.

"We shall see," Fantina said, apparently following the same train of thought as B. "Hmm…I believe we are done," she said as the instruments returned to whence they had come and the pressure on her and Lily relieved itself. "Ah, I look ravishing as always. And you…look in ze mirror and tell me what you zink!"

Lily looked at her reflection and did a double-take. If it weren't for the chain-shaped curse marks on her face, which the makeup had been unable to cover up no matter how hard it tried, Lily would have thought the Pokémon looking back at her in the mirror was a completely different Misdreavus…one far prettier than she could ever be. "Is that…me?" she asked incredulously.

"_Oui,_" Fantina said.

"And…and this is a true reflection?" Lily asked. "This isn't one of those magic mirrors that shows you the way you want to look, or something like that?"

Fantina laughed. "_Non,_ ze mirror is one of ze few zings in zis room wiz no magic in it whatsoever…well, ozzer zan ze anti-breaking charm, naturally."

"Amazing…I never thought in my wildest dreams I could look like…that," Lily said, gesturing helplessly at her reflection, who looked just as stunned as she was.

Fantina chuckled. "If you zink zat's somezing, just wait until you evolve! Take it from me, you will be magnificent…and I am sure your beau will be quite pleased as well!"

Lily blushed. "Y-you think so?"

The Mismagius smirked. "What red-blooded mon wouldn't be? Ah, you are lucky to 'ave 'im, Lily. 'e's a bit…strange, but loyal and intelligent, and it's clear to me 'e zinks ze world of you." She sighed wistfully. "I 'aven't 'ad a mon look at me ze way 'e looks at you in a very long time…"

Lily blinked in surprise. "What? But I thought you've had-"

"Oh, I've 'ad a number of partners, don't get me wrong—it's where I got most of my daughters from—but most of zose were just for fun. Zere is only one mon who truly loved me for more zan my wealzh or power or, ahem, 'reputation.' But…zat was a long time ago," Fantina said sadly.

"Um…what happened? If I'm not being too forward, that is," Lily asked timidly.

"You're not. It's nozing I'm ashamed of. Well…maybe a little," Fantina said. "About four 'undred years ago, an up-and-coming priest in ze Arcean Order came to ze Fichinan branch to study ze 'oly and mystical texts enshrined zere. A fairly recent convert to ze priest'ood and still smarting from a razzer bad encounter at ze last town 'e'd tried to bring Arceus to, 'e was eager to learn more about ze great powers and divinities which bind us all and find a way to make ze teachings of ze Law Rock and ze Order _real_ for ze Pokémon of ze world, to give everyone ze same kind of salvation 'e 'ad received. 'is mind open to knowledge of all sorts, 'e sought information from ze ozzer religious and spiritual sects in Fichina razzer zan just focusing on Arcean doctrine, trying to develop a technique made from an amalgamation of ze various schools to touch ze Pokémon of 'is flock (well, when 'e got a flock, anyway) on a more personal level. Since I was even zen a major supporter of Mewrianism, considered by many to be a 'sister' ideology to Arceanism, it was inevitable zat 'e would one day come to me for permission to see some of ze more classified and ancient texts in my possession." She blushed, surprising Lily. "And we…well, we sort of 'it it off. I 'elped 'im to do research and develop zeses, and we often spent 'ours debating zeology and ze order of ze 'eavens, and our place in ze Omniverse. 'E was unlike any mon I'd ever met…intelligent and caring, able to keep up wiz and even _best _me in a spirited discussion, and completely uninterested in my position, aside from ze fact zat I 'ad several books 'e wanted to look at. We developed a close friendship, and eventually somezing…more. But…sadly, it was not to last."

Lily frowned. "Why? Arcean priests are not forbidden to marry."

"Because 'is place was not wiz me," Fantina said sadly. "Alzhough 'e loved me as much as I loved 'im, in ze end 'is first duty was to ze church…and so it was ze church zat took 'im from me. Ze Order assigned 'im to a posting on anozzer continent, in a town zat 'ad lacked a priest of any sort for generations. We talked a bit about 'im maybe turning down ze position and finding a place in Fichina, but we bozh knew zat he was going to go. 'E loved ze Order too much to refuse 'is calling, so we 'ad no choice but to say _au revoir._ We tried to keep in touch for a while after 'e left, but…well, you know what zey say about long-distance relationships. Slowly but surely, we went our separate ways."

"…That's very sad," Lily said quietly.

"Oh, it gets better," Fantina said. "Not too long after zat, I 'ad my first daughter. I'm almost positive 'e was ze fazher."

Lily started. "Wh-what? Did you tell him?"

Fantina shook her head sadly. "_Non._"

"But why not?" Lily asked, puzzled.

"Our separation was sad enough as it was. I did not want to give 'im anozzer reason to regret leaving and make 'im second-guess 'is choice to go away," Fantina said solemnly. "My intuition told me 'e was needed in zat distant place, and zat ze future might suffer if 'e did not go zere to rekindle ze light of Arceus in ze 'earts of ze people zere. And when you're a witch, it's usually a good idea to always listen to your intuition."

_Is that what you are?_ Lily asked B. _My intuition?_

_No, I'm a being from another dimension that can talk to you inside your head,_ B said.

_Right, just checking,_ Lily said.

_Why do you keep doubting that? I've told you often enough that's what I am,_ B said.

_Sorry, it's just still so weird that I'm never one hundred percent sure,_ Lily said.

"I kept an eye on 'im for a while, but eventually decided 'e deserved to live 'is own life wizout my interference, so I turned my gaze from 'im and delude myself into zinking 'e's probably doing all right on 'is own," Fantina continued. "Not zat I don't still pine for 'im from time to time…and wonder what might 'ave been."

"You could have gone after him," Lily said. "You still could."

"_Non,_ zat part of our afterlives is over. Zere is no point in reopening old wounds," Fantina said, sounding as if she was trying to convince herself of this as much as she was Lily. Neither of them was buying it.

"I think Leo would say that you were being stupid and you should get back together with him, or at least see how he's doing," Lily said, wincing when she realized she was criticizing her mentor and one of the world's most powerful enchantresses. "He would say your position is clichéd and you're only hurting yourself."

Fantina blinked in surprise. "…Hmm. Maybe 'e is right. I will 'ave to consider zis…"

"What was his name, anyway?" Lily asked.

"Oh? 'Is name is-" Fantina started.

They were interrupted by a loud chime. "Attention passengers and all personnel! We are approaching Dusty Ditch and should arrive at our destination in five minutes. Finish whatever preparations you've been making and get ready, because we're going to have a big fight on our hands when we get there!" the engineer's voice rang throughout the train.

Fantina smiled ruefully and put her hat back on, coiling up her hair so it fit inside. "Looks like we will 'ave to finish zis conversation later, Lily. Are you ready?"

Lily nodded as she replaced her wimple and habit. "As ready as I'm ever going to be."

"Zen come. It is time to meet your destiny," Fantina said.

"Is it my destiny?" Lily asked.

"Of course. What else could you call your finding me, ze one person who might be able to 'elp you defeat Bellum once and for all?" Fantina asked.

_Pikachu would call it contrivance,_ Lily thought to herself.

_And Leo would say they're pretty much the same thing,_ B pointed out. _He'd be right, too._

_He usually is,_ Lily agreed.

And speaking of the Squirtle, they found him waiting for them out in the suite. "Duchess, Sister Lilandra, there you are! I was wondering where you…wow!" he said, doing a double-take when he saw Lily. "Sister Lilandra, you're looking damn fine today! If we belonged to a more restrictive religion, a nun looking like that would be considered a sin! But thankfully, we're pretty loose about that sort of thing, so you're in the clear. Which is good too, because I don't know if I could stand not getting a piece of that!"

Lily blushed. "Th-thank you, Leo…I think."

The Abra waiter, who had been getting his clothes back on, blinked and looked at his colleagues. "Wait…did she just…"

"Does this mean all those rumors we've heard about the Sisterhood being…that way are true, then?" the Gastly conductor asked eagerly as he adjusted his hat.

"Don't go hatin' on my religion!" Leo shouted.

"I wasn't 'hatin',' I was just-" the Gastly started.

"Don't go hatin' on my religion!" Leo shouted.

"But I-" the Gastly stammered.

"Don't go hatin' on my religion!" Leo shouted, throwing Gracidea flowers at the Gastly. Since he was a Ghost, the flowers phased right through him, but that didn't seem to stop Leo from continuing to throw them at him. Bow giggled in delight as she put her ribbons back on, generating a gust of wind to carry the flowers over to her so she could wrap them around her head.

Lily sweatdropped. "That's starting to become his—I mean, her-new catchphrase…"

"I can zink of worse ones," Fantina said in bemusement.  
"Like what?" Lily asked. Fantina told her one. "Oh. Yes, that is pretty bad."

_I can think of even _worse_ ones,_ B said.

_Like what? _Lily asked.

Unfortunately, the answer to that question would have to wait for another time, because it was right then that they finally reached Dusty Ditch…or what was left of it.

…

Dusty Ditch had come into being a few centuries ago as a boom town developed around a thick vein of gold, iron, and other minerals found out in the middle of the desert. It was an especially rich vein, allowing the town to prosper and grow out to fill pretty much all of the titular ditch (which was really more of a valley, but the town namers thought calling it Dusty Ditch would give it alliterative appeal). A few thousand people moved in to settle the town, most of whom were miners, and the rest being the families of the miners and the people running the services necessary to support the mining industry and the town's other necessities. Unfortunately, as with all boom towns, eventually the source of its wealth ran out when the vein inevitably emptied, leaving Dusty Ditch destitute and without a source of income. Like most settlements of a similar nature, if left to its own devices, the town would have died, people packing up and leaving one by one to seek employment elsewhere until there was nothing left but empty buildings and broken dreams, not even a ghost town because no self-respecting Ghost Pokémon would want to live in a place so hot and dry and dusty and dull.

And then fortune smiled upon the town when a number of business and transportation magnates endeavored to connect Sinnorre's major sources of industry, commerce, and recreation via a grand trans-continental railway system. Managing to convince the somewhat reclusive nation of Fichina that being part of a transit system could be a significant benefit to their economy and do wonders for their relations with the rest of the continent, the Enchanted Express was established to ferry mages and visitors to and from Fichina to other regions of Sinnorre. This was just the miracle the dying town of Dusty Ditch needed to keep from collapsing completely, because the most efficient route to Fichina through the Northern Desert just happened to pass through the valley, and rather than simply demolish the town, the railroad company was willing to turn it into a stop on the route. Overnight Dusty Ditch was reinvigorated as the town was rebuilt almost from the ground up to serve as a major stop on the railroad, their entire economy and livelihood now centered around railroad care, train maintenance, and providing a comfortable place for travelers to stop and shop in the middle of their journey to or from the magical land at the end of the line. Dusty Ditch prospered again, perhaps not quite to the same extent it had at the height of its mining days, but it still managed to do pretty well for itself and its citizens nonetheless.

And then Bellum came and cast her dread Fimbulvinter spell, and Dusty Ditch died again, this time for good.

The passengers looked out through their windows in dismay at what remained of Dusty Ditch as the Enchanted Express eased into the station and came to a halt, steam rippling off its form as the heat from its engine reacted with the subzero temperatures outside its frame, snow melting and dripping off its sides and from the iced-over tracks only to freeze solid again once it got too far away from the train's magical anti-freezing field. It was almost impossible to see through the swirling white snow and fog surrounding the train, but powerful lights emitted by the mystical runes and designs on the sides of the cars pierced the gloom to shine upon the buildings lining the sides of the track, most of which were surprisingly intact…

And also so covered with ice and frost that they shone a bright white and reflected the light from the train back at it, causing those peering out the windows to flinch and squint and shield their eyes as they tried to see past the glare. From what they could see, while many buildings were still standing, several roofs had caved in from the weight of the snow piled on top of them, and it looked like a number of others were on the verge of collapse due to the cold eating away at the foundations and materials holding them together. Some were so covered in ice and snow that they could easily be mistaken for hills or blocks of ice rather than structures. The wind howled and raged and battered at the Enchanted Express as if trying to knock it over and rip it apart and get at the hateful warm bodies hiding within it, but though the train rocked a little on its wheels, the cold and the wind and the hail were unable to penetrate its exterior, both the physical shell or the magic protecting it. "Unbelievable…" Goldor murmured.

Silvia shook her head in dismay. "It's almost completely unrecognizable. I'm finding it hard to believe that this is even Dusty Ditch at all! It looks so _different!_"

"Maybe we shouldn't have come here. Maybe we shouldn't have _stopped_ here," Buck said anxiously. "Maybe we can still leave, before Bellum and all the monsters out there get us…I mean, there's nothing stopping us, right?"

"Actually, there's a mountain blocking the tracks just past the outskirts of town," the Gastly conductor reported.

Everyone stared at him incredulously. "A _mountain?_" Pikachu demanded.

"That's funny, I don't remember there being a mountain on these tracks," said a perplexed Todd.

"Couldn't we just go through the tunnel?" Vladimir asked sensibly.

"There _is_ no tunnel," the conductor said.

"…Then why do the tracks go towards a mountain if there's no tunnel through it?" asked the confused Ash.

"Because there's not supposed to be a mountain there to begin with," the conductor said.

"Then where did it come from?" asked Pikachu.

"From Niflheim," Looker guessed. "Like everything else out there."

"Oh," Pikachu said.

Bruno nodded. "Yes, that would explain it."

"Looks like we aren't going anywhere until we get rid of this evil spell, then," Sam said.

"Or we could just blow the mountain up," Max said.

"I don't think we have enough firepower to do that, little buddy," Sam said.

"Says you," Max retorted.

"Actually, it would theoretically possible for us to blow up that mountain if we all worked together, but it would probably take up a lot of power that could be better put to use defeating Bellum and her minions, eh, wot?" Briney pointed out.

"Indeed," Fantina said. "Stopping Bellum is our primary objective, not escape."

"Although escaping would be nice…" Dean said wistfully. Vladimir frowned at him.

"So, do we go out there?" George asked.

Happy shuddered. "I don't relish it, even if we do have some enchantments to keep us from getting frozen to death."

Sasha nodded. "These conditions are even harsher than where I come from. Er, came from, before I became Ronin's servant," she amended when Pikachu glanced at her.

"Regardless, we're going to have to go out there," Lily said. "Though…it might be hard fighting or seeing what we're doing in a storm like that."

"Then it's a good thing we can see without using our eyes, right Cruise, Hiori, Rico?" Ritchie asked his foster son, Ash, and Tiny.

"That's right, Daddy!" Cruise said.

"Yeah, and I have infrared goggles," Leo said. He waited for a moment, but nobody said anything. "Isn't anyone going to ask why I have infrared goggles?"

"We're afraid that if we do, you'll yell at us for hating on your religion," Looker said.

"Oh," Leo said, looking mildly disappointed.

"The spirits of wind and ice are extremely agitated…they have been instilled with a desire for blood by Niflheim's evil influence," Rebecca murmured, a displeased expression on her face. "Even they seek our demise."

"Well, maybe zere's somezing we can do about zat," Bow suggested. "I _am_ a wind mage, after all. Maybe I can calm zings down a little?"

"Ah, an excellent idea," Fantina said approvingly. "Give it a try. I doubt you'll be able to stop it completely, but you should be able to lessen it somewhat."

Bow nodded and closed her eyes, concentrating as she wiggled her arms in complex patterns, magic glowing around her. The incessant howling of the wind outside ebbed bit by bit and finally slowed down to a gentle gust, the snowflakes and hailstones falling freely rather than being pounded into the side of the train by the gale-force winds, allowing them a clearer view of Dusty Ditch…

And of the little present Bellum had left waiting for them. "Oh, dear Arceus in the Celestial Heavens," Pikachu whispered in horror, making the sign of the Wheel.

"Are…are those…" Rose stammered. Cruise promptly threw up, and Tiny trembled, only iron self-restraint keeping him from doing the same. Ash held him, and Tiny sent his father a sense of gratitude through their bond, happy by this contact and support.

"Don't look, dear," Silvia cried, covering a shocked Buck's eyes.

"I…don't think I want to," the frightened Baltoy whispered.

"Holy crap," Todd said, slack-jawed in disbelief for a moment…before taking a picture.

_Oh, Mother,_ Lily thought to herself in despair and resignation. Shaking his head, Leo put a hand on her shoulder (?) to give her his support.

"Eh, I'm not impressed," Max said.

"Yeah, we have way more of those on the White House lawn back home," Sam agreed. George and several other people stared at them in disgust.

What had elicited this reaction, you might ask? Hundreds of tall, thin ice spikes had been placed in neat rows on either side of the track. The swirling snow and the reflected glare from the frozen buildings had hidden them from view, but now that Bow had calmed the blizzard everyone could see them…as well as what was on them. Impaled atop each spike was a corpse, its skin covered in frost and snow and hardened from the cold, blood frozen into a black solid all over its stiffened flesh and down the side of the spike. Many were missing limbs, the extremities having broken off from the weight of the snow and the strength of the wind and were lying in piles at the bases of the spikes, almost invisible underneath the dirtied snow piled all over the place. There had to be several hundred bodies, the spikes stacked three deep along the tracks, all of them staring forwards with dead eyes and looks of unspeakable agony on their faces. Past the spikes and through gaps in the surrounding buildings, more impaled corpses could be seen lining the streets, as if everyone in town had come out to welcome them in some sort of macabre reception.

"Damn you, Bellum!" Fantina snarled, fire igniting around her in a rage. "Zey had nozing to do wiz us! 'ow many more innocent people must you kill to get at me?"

"…She really is the evilest witch in the world, isn't she?" Goldor said finally.

"That she is, gov," Briney said, eyes narrowed and fists clenched. "That she is."

"What…what sort of person would _do_ something like this?" Ritchie asked quietly, hugging the shivering Cruise to his chest. "Judgment's done bad stuff in the past, but…but nothing like _this._"

"Pure evil," Ash said, eyes hard.

Ritchie glanced at him. "Huh?"

"You asked what sort of person would do something like this. The answer is pure evil," Ash repeated. "That is what Bellum is. That is what the Nihilators are. Judgment believes they are trying to save the world, but the Nihilators…they only want to destroy it." Ritchie shook his head wordlessly, stunned as he slowly began to realize just what sort of enemy they were dealing with. What had he gotten his team into?

"That is why we must destroy them," Sparky said slowly, drawing his sword. "Evil of that nature, evil which unashamedly revels in death and suffering and destruction, must be opposed and slain whenever it manifests."

Pikachu nodded in agreement. "Indeed. Let us endeavor to do just that, this day."

"Did you notice? A number of the wounds on those bodies out there…" Palmer murmured to Dawn.

_Match a Weavile's claws. I know,_ the ninja clicked back. _Paul has been here._

"Then let us make sure he never leaves," the Dragonite said coldly.

"I'm glad I can't see what's out there, if everyone's reaction is anything to go by," Rebecca commented.

"She'll do worse than that to us if she gets us, won't she?" Dean asked miserably.

"Then we'll have to make sure she doesn't," Vladimir said glumly.

"A thoughtful welcome. Shall we return the favor?" Butler asked, cracking his knuckles.

Diane nodded in agreement, eyes glowing softly. "Sounds like a good idea to me."

"Right," Bruno said, turning to the others. "Let's get started. Everyone who's been made combat-capable, head out. Everyone else, stay inside the train, activate the wards, and power up the defenses so we'll still have a way out of here once this is all over. I get the feeling this is going to get very messy…"

Nodding solemnly, the battle party filed out of the train and onto the waiting platform, the doors slamming shut behind them with a somewhat disturbing finality. The designs on the cars lit up, and energy crackled around the vehicle as its myriad defenses activated, stars and comets peeling off the sides to spin around the train, ethereal serpents and dragons and monsters manifesting to stand guard on the roof, spikes looking suspiciously like cannon emplacements jutting from innocuous panels on the sides and roof, metal shutters sliding down over windows, the wizard's hat on the engine car rising up and splitting apart to turn into some kind of dish-shaped magitek ray gun while the car's eyes and nostrils started glowing ominously, flames flickering from between its 'teeth'. The main body of the train lowered to the ground, covering the wheels and pressing its belly against the track while all the cars slammed into and melded with each other to create a single unbroken length of metal with no visible weak spots, the end of the rearmost car stretching outwards and thinning and growing spines until it resembled a barbed tail, while the hull split and took on a scaled texture, completing its resemblance to a metallic dragon. Those who had never seen the Enchanted Express go into battle mode before (which was almost all of them) looked back at the transformed locomotive in amazement. "Coooool," said an awestruck Leo and Zippo. Todd snapped a picture.

"Now that's one fine piece of machinery," Briney murmured, impressed.

"I take back almost everything I said about the Enchanted Express not taking adequate precautions with the safety of its passengers," Goldor said.

"Then remind me why we're out here in the cold instead of in _there_, where it's safe?" Buck asked incredulously, something that was on a lot of other people's minds.

"Nobody asked you, dear," Silvia said.

"Well, at least the train will still be here when we get back," Sam said.

"Yeah, unlike the DeSoto," Max said.

"She's going to come back eventually! We just keep moving around too much, I'm sure she'd have caught up with us by now otherwise!" Sam insisted.

"Of course she will, Sam. Of course she will," Max said condescendingly. Sam growled.

"So…where's Bellum and her forces?" Captain Salty asked, glancing around. "I don't see hide or hair of them."

"They're waiting for us," Cherry said with a tone of unquestionable certainty. Nobody would have doubted her, even if she hadn't been looking into the future.

Sasha nodded in agreement. "I can sense them…the danger is growing by the second."

"Then we shouldn't keep them waiting for much longer," Pikachu said, drawing his sword. "It would be rather impolite, don't you think?"

Sparky started. "That sword…no! It can't be…"

Lu glanced at him in puzzlement. "What? What is it?"

"It…it's…" the knight stammered.

"I'll explain later," Pikachu said quickly. _Oh well, I guess it was inevitable someone would recognize it…_

"Let's get this over with," Briney said. "Come on."

They left the train platform and entered the town proper. They didn't go through the station to do it, however, because the way the ceiling creaked ominously and tiny cracks ran through the walls and floor from their footsteps did not instill a lot of confidence in them as to the structure's architectural integrity. Instead, they walked around the side and squeezed between the nearby buildings to reach the streets beyond. They did their best not to get too close to the spikes the corpses were impaled on in the process. (Well, Sasha gnawed on one of the severed limbs when nobody was looking to see if it was any good, and Bob tried licking at the frozen blood, only to get his tongue stuck and need to get forcibly pulled off the spike, tearing his tongue in half in the process. Fortunately, he was a vampire so it grew back pretty quickly.)

The streets of Dusty Ditch were just as eerie as the station. There was no life, no movement, anywhere, save for the falling snow piling up on buildings and on the frozen corpses lining the sidewalks. A chill ran down their spines that had nothing to do with the subzero temperatures, which they didn't feel anyway thanks to the heating spells that had been cast on all of them to protect them from the extreme weather conditions. Rose shook her head in dismay as she took in the endless lines of bodies. "I don't understand…to kill them all for a spell is one thing, but this…to just display them like this, as if they were some decoration or holiday ornament? Why? What is the point? What did these people do to anger her so?"

"They were there," Lily said hollowly.

Fantina nodded angrily. "Zat is all ze reason Bellum ever needs."

"And where is the queen bitch, huh?" George asked furiously, incensed by this callous disregard for life and propriety. "Where's Bellum?"

"And her army, for that matter?" Pikachu inquired, glancing at Cherry. "I thought there were supposed to be hundreds of them. Where are they?"

"They are already here," Sasha whispered, hackles raised and fur standing on end.

"Aye," Briney said, tensing up. "That they are."

Everyone glanced around in alarm. "Where?" Todd asked.

"Yeah, I don't see anything," Diane said.

"That's because you aren't looking hard enough," Palmer said, going very tense.

Ash, Ritchie, Cruise, and Tiny automatically closed their eyes to use Aura-sight…and stiffened in horror at what they saw. "D-daddy?" Cruise stammered.

"No…they…they're all around us!" Ritchie gasped.

"Where?" Goldor demanded, whirling about. "I don't see-"

And then he did. All of them did. Whether by magic or the swirling snow or some trick of the light, none of them had noticed that Bellum's soldiers had been standing all around them in plain sight as they entered the street, their pale forms blending in almost perfectly with the frozen landscape. Ice elementals like tall skeletons of ice stood at attention in ranks before the spikes on either side of the street, so still and pointy that just about everyone had initially mistaken them to be more cruel statuary. Mounds of snow stirred and rose up, revealing themselves to be immense lupine figures one and a half meters tall with pure white fur with frost and ice crystals clinging to every hair that glittered beautifully in the dim light, cruel cutting claws, serrated fangs, eyes like blue chips of ice, and breath that rose from their slavering jaws in clouds of cold fog. Hulking trolls, massive blue figures with bulging muscles, thick and ugly neckless heads between burly shoulders hunched over with horned helmets covering their skulls, and wielding immense clubs and maces and battleaxes stepped out of the shadows from between buildings, moving with alarming grace and silence for creatures so big. Ice formations on rooftops cracked and rose up and spread wings like great hinged slabs of ice to reveal draconic creatures consisting of lengthy serpentine forms standing on two taloned feet, scales and spikes made of ice clinging to their bodies while crystal-tipped tails swept out behind them, elongated necks curving upwards into monstrous heads that seemed to be more mouth than face, with jaws full of overlarge teeth made of icicles, framed by icicle horns and a furry mane. There were hundreds of the monsters, filling the streets and rooftops, all of them staring at the warm-blooded invaders with looks of pure hatred.

"Oh," Goldor said weakly. "There they are."

"Where did they all come from?" Todd asked incredulously as he snapped pictures.

"They were here all along; right in front of us…we just didn't see them until now. They camouflage perfectly into the terrain," Pikachu realized, baring his sword.

"There's so many of them…" Silvia murmured timidly.

Buck groaned. "I knew I shoulda stayed on the train."

"Can we really fight so many?" Rose asked nervously.

"We'll fight them and beat them," Bruno growled.

"We can do nothing less," Vladimir said stolidly.

"Since the only other option is dying horribly," Dean agreed sullenly.

"Bellum!" Fantina shouted, fire blazing around her to emphasize her anger. "Show yourself! We are not intimidated by your macabre welcome or your toy soldiers!"

"We aren't?" Sam asked.

"I'm not," Max said.

"That's because you're strange, Max," Sam said.

"And proud of it!" Max said…proudly.

"I'm a little intimidated, actually," Lily admitted anxiously.

"Don't be, we'll be saved by-" Zippo started.

"Conservation of ninjutsu?" Leo finished.

"You know it!" the Charmeleon said. They high…pawed. Or whatever it's called when you have fewer than five digits.

"Yeah, that…that doesn't fill me with great confidence," Sparky said flatly.

"Same here," Pikachu said. They exchanged rueful smiles.

"Bellum!" Fantina shouted again. "We're waiting!"

"…Is that really the best way to go about getting attention from a homicidal ice witch?" Lu asked dubiously.

"She seems to know what she's doing," Looker said.

This indeed seemed to be the case. The wind started howling again, the ground started trembling, the temperature dropped even _more_, and abruptly a colossal mass of ice crystals exploded out of the ground in front of them, shattering in a blast that sent millions of razor-sharp blades of ice flying towards them. Everyone started as they flew towards them, but the ice shards diffused into snowflakes before they could hit them, swirling back inwards and compressing on themselves and condensing until, with a flash of light, they transformed into Bellum, the Froslass laughing malevolently as she hovered before them. "Ooh, nice entrance," Todd said, snapping a picture.

"Well, I'll say this for her, she has style," Silvia said reluctantly.

Goldor nodded in agreement. "Yes, all the best mages do, whether good or evil."

"Mother…" Lily whispered, shivering and huddling closer to Fantina.

"Fantina…it has been too long," Bellum sneered, locking eyes with her nemesis.

"Actually, wasn't it just a few days ago?" Bow interjected before her mother could reply.

"Yes, I was there, I remember it being a few days ago as well," Rebecca said.

"I took pictures," Todd said.

Bellum paused. "Er…yes. I suppose that's true…" Everyone sweatdropped.

"Well, there goes the dramatic moment…" Sam said.

"Eh, it was nice while it lasted," Max said.

"Anyway…it's so good to see you again!" Bellum sneered. "And I promise you, this encounter will not go the same way our last one did!"

"By zat do you mean ze last time we battled a few monzhs ago, where I defeated you soundly and 'umiliated you in front of ze entire magical world, or when I got ze Rod of Merlin a few days ago and 'umiliated you in front of ze entire magical world? Again, zat is?" Fantina asked coyly.

"It was very humiliating, wasn't it?" Goldor commented.

"Indeed. I foresaw she would lose the competition before I attended, which meant I got to see Bellum lose twice. It was very enjoyable," Cherry said cheerfully.

Bellum's eye twitched as she made a mental note to kill them all horribly. Even more than she had already planned to, anyway. "You have humiliated me for the last time, Fantina. This time, you cannot stop me, or the power that I have unleashed!"

"Didn't she say zat ze last time, too?" Bow asked.

"She says zat _every_ time, dear. You'd zink she'd 'ave learned by now," Fantina said.

"Will you stop that?" Bellum snapped, starting to lose her temper. "This is a serious moment! Stop mocking me! Or do you all wish to end up like the people of Dusty Ditch? For that is what awaits those who defy me!" she said, gesturing to the corpses displayed on either side of her.

Fantina snarled, her joking mood gone. "And just what did zese people do zat counted as 'defying' you, Bellum? What did zey do to merit zis treatment?"

"Nothing, truthfully," Bellum admitted with an evil grin. "They were merely the means to an end, that end being the wondrous transformation I have wrought upon this wretched dustbowl! I am surprised you disapprove, Fantina, you're always trying to make the world a more beautiful place, and that's what I've done here! It's much more appealing to the eye than the sweltering desert shithole it once was, don't you think?"

"Beauty is in ze eye of ze be'older, Bellum…and I can see none of it in any work zat is wrought from ze torture and murder of innocent lives!" Fantina retorted.

"Yet another issue we fail to meet eye to eye, my old rival…to you this may be appalling, but to me it is the most magnificent thing in the world! A whole section of disgusting boiling desert wasteland turned into a winter wonderland! And this is only the beginning…now that I command the power of Fimbulvinter, I will soon be able to make all of Sinnorre like this!" Bellum said triumphantly.

"I thought you said what she's done here wouldn't cover all of Sinnorre," an alarmed Ash whispered to Lily.

"It won't, but if she cast the same spell in other cities around the continent, doing to them what she did here…" Lily said.

"Total ice age, mon!" Leo said.

"Oh. Right," Ash said. "That would be bad."

"Yeah, then we'd never have another day of summer vacation!" said an appalled Zippo. "Total bummer, dude!" Everyone stared at him. "What? It is!"

"We will not allow zat to 'appen, Bellum. We will banish zis unnatural winter, and all your new friends, back to Nifl'eim where zey belong!" Fantina said.

The monsters stirred at this. Bellum smirked. "Is that so? I think my comrades here might have something to say about that…isn't that right, my friends?" The monsters howled in unison to show their defiance, causing a few of the weaker buildings to collapse as their frameworks, made brittle by the cold, crumbled beneath the power of their raised voices. "Although I'm somewhat surprised you figured out I've drawn upon the might of Niflheim so quickly…then again, you always have been fast on the uptake, haven't you?"

"Unlike you, who 'as yet to learn from 'er mistakes and realize ze futility of ze pazh you 'ave chosen," Fantina said.

"The path I have chosen is the one that shall inevitably lead to your downfall and the ultimate triumph of evil over all of creation," Bellum retorted. "It's a path that's had its fair share of bumps and potholes, admittedly, but that is no reason to turn away from its ultimate destination, one that is so close now that I can almost taste it!"

"Mama is more zan just a bump or a pot'ole…she is a roadblock in your pazh, zwarting you time and time again!" Bow said, much to her mother's gratification.

"There are detours around every roadblock, and through those I persevere, and will finally, inevitably, reach my goal!" Bellum said.

"Yeah, but you'll have to pay the toll booth first, and you'd better make sure you have exact change, or you can't go through," Leo said.

Everyone stared at him. "…What?" asked a confused Bellum.

"You know, the toll booth! Because lots of big important roads have them because the local governments want to extort more money from travelers to fill their coffers? And the road to the ultimate triumph of evil must have some seriously demanding toll booths, and you'd be in big trouble if you can't pay them, and would lose your soul or something rather than just going to prison or getting a fine, and-" Leo tried to explain.

"Stop," Pikachu said flatly. "Just…stop."

"Sorry," Leo said Mareepishly. "I guess I sorta overdid the metaphor there, huh?"

"Pretty much, yeah," Diane said.

"But if there's toll booths on the road to villainy, who are the toll collectors? Trolls? Demons? Lawyers?" Zippo wondered, causing everyone to sweatdrop.

Bellum stared at them in confusion and incredulity before bursting into laughter. "Well, you certainly did a marvelous job picking this batch of recruits, didn't you, Fantina? I rather doubt they hold a candle to mine, though," she said, the Niflheim monsters grinning and growling ferociously.

"Looks can be deceiving. Zey may be fewer zan your army, but ze power zey possess is not to be trifled wiz or underestimated!" Fantina said.

Bellum looked over the heroes skeptically. "Ha! The only thing I see is one of the oddest groups of misfits and fools you've gathered yet to oppose me! Were these really the best you could gather against me?"

"_What_ did she just call us?" Goldor asked furiously.

"How dare she!" Silvia huffed.

"Hey, I resent that remark!" Max said.

"Yes, we may be fools, but we're certainly not misfits!" Sam agreed.

"Then again, you probably didn't get much advance warning to pick anyone better," Bellum continued, ignoring them. "A pity Brodie failed in assassinating you, otherwise they would not have been put in the incredibly hazardous situation you've dragged them into. How foolish of them, and how hypocritical of you, Fantina. And you're the one who's always talking about how much you care for worthless people like these and respects their right to life and freedom?"

"Th-there is nothing hypocritical about her!" Lily stammered, much to her friends' surprise. "All of us…all of us are here because we chose to be. We knew the risks involved and how dangerous this would be, and decided to help her anyway, because we know how evil you are…and how you have to be stopped, no matter what!"

"…Very well said," Fantina said with a warm smile as the rest of Team Aurabolt smiled and nodded in encouragement.

_Nice! _B complimented.

_D-did I really just do that?_ Lily asked incredulously, shocked by the audacity of what she'd just done. _Ohhh, Mother's going to kill me for this!_

Bellum frowned in puzzlement at the Misdreavus nun. Something about her seemed familiar, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. "Is that so? Then let's put that to the test, shall we?" She smiled down at them with false benevolence. "While I admire your determination to face me, no matter how misplaced it is, there is no reason for you to throw away your lives so recklessly. The only things I want are Fantina…and the vampires whom she took from me!"

Vladimir and Dean winced. "I was wondering when she'd get to us…" Dean murmured.

"I guess it was too much to hope for that she'd forgotten about us …" Vladimir said.

"Oblivion's Shadow was most displeased with me for losing them in the first place, and the only way I can redeem myself is to exterminate them…but there is no need for you die as well. If you depart now, I shall let you go in peace, and we can all forget this ever happened. What do you say?" Bellum offered, an (un)sincere smile on her face.

Not a single one of them moved. (Well, Buck tried to, but his mother had a tight grip on his shoulder.) "No," Ash said firmly, stamping the end of his staff into the ground.

Bellum frowned. Something about the Lucario seemed familiar as well. "No?"

"No," Ritchie seconded, all of Team Getem nodding and standing firm behind him.

"We know the kind of person you are. We know what you're capable of. We know what you've done, and what you're trying to do," Bruno said.

"And it makes us sick. We aren't going to walk away from it. We're going to stop you," Rebecca said.

"One way or another, you will be brought to justice, either here or before the tribunal in Fichina," Looker said.

"No matter what it takes, no matter how many of us die, we aren't going to let what you've done to this town and its people go unpunished," Palmer said.

"Aside from the dying part, I agree one hundred percent," Goldor said. "We will fight you with every breath and spell in our bodies. We have sworn to do so. How could we possibly do anything less?"

"Oh, Goldor…" Silvia said admiringly.

"We're going to beat you and all your little Niflheim friends, and we're going to take these gentlemons to Fichina to deliver their testimony, so they can blow the lid on you and your Nihilator conspirators," Diane said.

"Our mistress vowed to make sure that happens, just as we have vowed to do everything in our power to help her do so," Butler agreed.

"Th-thanks," Dean said in relief. "I mean, we never doubted you'd help us, but-"

"Think nothing of it," Sparky said gallantly.

"And besides, we aren't doing it _just_ for you," Leo said. "Bellum's needed a good thumping for a long time now, so we might as well take this opportunity to give her the beatdown she deserves!"

Zippo grinned. "I hear ya, mon!"

"So…yeah, I guess that's what we're doing," Todd said.

"And besides, you'll probably kill us the moment we turn our backs, anyway," Sam said.

"Yeah, it's what I would do," Max said. Everyone looked at him. "What? It is!"

"Ha…you're correct, there. I wouldn't really have let you leave with your lives. You have been exposed to the vampires, and even if they haven't told you any of my organization's secrets, it would be a good idea to eliminate all of you regardless…not to mention fun," Bellum cackled. "However…for all of you to team up on me would hardly be a fair fight, now would it? Especially since a sorceress of my caliber would trounce you all easily. I should at least give you a fighting chance before shattering your hopes utterly. I shall leave you to play with my minions instead, while Fantina and I have our showdown…that should be something more suitable for your level, don't you think?"

They all frowned at this put-down. "She thinks pretty highly of herself and lowly of us, huh?" Ritchie murmured.

"Her type always does," Ash said.

Lu smirked. "Or maybe she is worried about our combined power…enough so to do whatever it takes to make sure we don't bring it to bear against her?"

Bellum laughed. "Now who's thinking highly of themselves? You fools don't know what you're getting yourselves into. You should have distanced yourselves from this when you had the chance…because now you shall know what it means to cross the Nihilators! Marianne! Paul! Articuno! To me!"

A bolt of lightning shot down from the sky and smashed into a building, shattering it in a blast of thunder and electricity. Bolts of static arced all over the place as a very large Rotom rose from the ruins, her electric field pulsating wildly as her eyes glowed an eerie blue and her mouth was fixed in a terrifying jagged grin. "Bzzzzzzz…"

Lily tensed and moved a little closer to Fantina's side, hoping her older sister wouldn't recognize her. Bow narrowed her eyes and unfolded her fan. "Ahhh, Marianne…so good to see you again. It 'as been a while. Do you remember ze last time we met? I certainly do…and I will make you pay for what you did!"

Marianne narrowed her eyes and snickered. "Bzbzbzbzbz!"

"She's taking the whole 'ruined birthday' thing pretty seriously," Leo murmured.

"Well, she should," Butler said. "One of her oldest and dearest friends was hiding in the cake as a surprise. When Marianne wrecked the cake, she killed milady's friend, too."

"And after all the work I put into making a space in it, too!" Diane said.

"…Oh," Leo said.

"That's terrible!" Lily said. "But…wait, why was her friend inside-"

"I'll, uh, explain later," Leo said, turning red.

A shadow rippled, and Paul Yami stepped out of it. Ash and Palmer tensed, and Pikachu very discretely put a hand on Dawn's shoulder to keep her from charging her nemesis. "Hmmph," the Weavile said as he appraised the group. "This should be interesting."

"It certainly should be! Think we can get a piece of him? We never got a chance back at Mt. Battle-" Ritchie started.

"No, he'll tear you apart," Ash said.

Ritchie frowned. "Why do you keep _saying_ that?"

"Because it's true," Pikachu said. "However, my servant Mineko should be capable of besting him on her own. If you would, Mineko?" She bowed and stepped forward, squeezing his hand to show her gratitude.

"Wait, you're saying your, ah, female companion can take down one of the most infamous fighters in the professional circuit but _we_ can't?" Sparky asked incredulously.

"That's kinda insulting, dude," Zippo said. "Not cool!"

"Mineko has certain…skills which you do not, skills which make her more than capable of engaging a fighter of Paul's abilities," Pikachu said vaguely.

Paul smirked. "Is that so? Well, you'd better hope you're right, or else I'll carve up her pretty face so much you won't want anything to do with her by the time I'm through." That statement seemed to ring a chord in him for some reason. He didn't know why, but there was something nagging him about the Buneary geisha. Her poise, the look in her eyes, all of it seemed very…familiar…

Ah. Of course. Well, wasn't _that_ interesting? He hid a smirk, briefly wondering if he should tell Bellum who _else_ was no doubt hiding among their opponents, before deciding against it. She'd probably figure it out on her own sooner or later. And besides…this way he would have her all to himself, something which Bellum might not allow if she knew who they were _really_ up against.

"If I may, Ronin, might I accompany your servant? I have a matter to settle with Mr. Yami as well," Palmer spoke up.

Paul frowned. "What matter? I don't think I've ever done anything to you…whoever the Abyss you are."

Palmer smiled thinly. "Oh, you've done more to me than you might think, Mr. Yami…as I shall make abundantly clear on the field of battle."

"Very well," Pikachu said as Paul puzzled this. "If you believe she requires your assistance, you may fight alongside her, Kairyu."

Palmer bowed his head in gratitude. "Thank you, Ronin. This means quite a lot to me."

Pikachu gave him a knowing look and a nod in return. "I know it does."

"Wait, so you're letting some wizard _and_ your girlfriend fight him, but not us?" Zippo protested. "Dude, that's mondo unfair!"

"Yeah, well, so's life sometimes, hun," Leo said.

"What exactly qualifies _him_ to fight with Paul but not us?" Lu insisted.

"Oh, it's because-" Max started.

Sam shoved him to the ground and planted a foot on his head, burying his face in the snow. "Because Kairyu's a great and powerful wizard with centuries of experience in combat, while you aren't," he said casually as Max's limbs flailed about, clawing at the snow and his ankles.

"Oh. Well…I guess that makes sense," Ritchie said reluctantly.

"I guess it's not that big a deal," Salty admitted. "'Snot like there aren't plenty of other people for us to fight."

"Whatever. So long as I kill someone, I don't really give a crap," Paul grunted, wondering why the Dragonite had involved himself. Something about him seemed familiar, too, but…no, it couldn't be. He'd killed him personally…hadn't he?

There was a gust of wind as something passed over them, briefly casting them in shadow as it flew by then swooped lower to alight atop one of the buildings, crowding some of the ice dragons out of the way to make its roost. Spreading her beautiful blue wings, Articuno opened her beak and emitted an ear-piercing shriek that shattered the ice on several of the nearby buildings as well as a number of ice elementals, who quickly reassembled themselves once her call had ceased. Most of the group gasped in wonder as they gazed upon the legendary ice bird, and Todd took a picture. "It's…it's really Articuno…" whispered an awestruck George.

"She's even more beautiful than I'd ever imagined!" Silvia squealed.

"She may be pretty, but remember she's also sided with the forces of evil, which means she's extremely dangerous," Cherry warned them.

"I guess you were telling the truth when you said she'd be here, and an enemy," Rebecca admitted reluctantly. "I didn't want to believe it…but she's really gone to the dark side."

"It's understandable," Looker said. "Who wants to believe that the gods have turned against them, and especially thrown in their lot with someone like Bellum?"

"Her Aura…its pitch black!" said an astonished Cruise.

"And so is Paul's," said an alarmed Ritchie. "Is…is this what a Shadow Pokémon is? Hiori, we have to purify her, and restore her to her true self!"

Ash ground his teeth, trying his hardest to control his emotions as he stared at Articuno, memories of her killing Brock and him violently returning the favor racing through his head. "Purify her. Right." Tiny sent him waves of calming reassurance through their bond, and Ash managed to relax a fraction.

"Purify? Ha! Good luck with that!" Articuno sneered. "I'm evil to the core, idiot, and no amount of fancy Aura tricks can do anything to change that!"

"That's the torture and mind control talking. Once we've opened your heart, you'll realize we did the right thing!" Ritchie insisted.

Articuno laughed. "Naïve fool. Fine! Fight me if you wish! Try to open my heart! I think you'll be unpleasantly surprised by what you find within it…"

"We'll see about that! Hiori, Cruise, Rico, are you with me?" Ritchie said.

"I'm with you, Daddy!" Cruise said.

"I…yeah. Yeah, so am I," Ash decided, taking his staff off his back. It looked like this would be his first chance to use it in battle. He hoped he handled it well. Tiny hovered reassuringly by his side, letting him know he had his back.

"Then…I guess the rest of us will take on the remaining several hundred monsters or something…" Zippo murmured.

"Yeah, that's totally fair," Leo said sarcastically.

"It certainly isn't," Bellum said, not caring. "If you're all done sorting yourselves into inconsequential little groups, then we can get this started…oh, and just one more thing. Those little enchantments you're all using to protect you from the cold and strengthen you against my minions? Yes, those are going to have to go." She lazily waved a hand, and a gust of wind carrying particles of magical ice swept towards them. The group tensed in alarm…

And a wall of fire flashed up in front of them, incinerating the ice particles. "Good zing I knew you would do zat, and was prepared for it!" Fantina commented, the flames coalescing into a fireball that roared through the air towards Bellum.

"And I was prepared for your preparation!" Bellum said, generating ice spikes which punched through the fireball and streaked towards Fantina.

"And I was prepared for your preparation for my preparation!" Fantina said, the ice spikes melting, the resulting steam turning into a writhing serpent of hot air that roared towards Bellum with gaping jaws.

"And I was prepared for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation!" Bellum said, freezing the serpent solid and turning it back against its creator.

"And I was prepared for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation for my preparation!" Fantina said as the serpent was engulfed in flame, switching sides (again) and surging towards Bellum once more.

"And I was prepared for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation!" Bellum said, generating an icy-cold gust of wind which billowed through the serpent, extinguishing it, and raced towards Fantina.

"And I was prepared for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation for my preparation!" Fantina said as she exhaled a stream of fire that blasted through the cold wind and surged towards Bellum.

"And I was prepared for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation!" Bellum said as the ground in front of her exploded as a wall of ice crystals rose up which absorbed the flame, turning a fiery red before becoming azure and hurling cobalt flames at Fantina.

"And I was prepared for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation for my preparation!" Fantina said as her eyes glowed, causing the blue flames to swirl around her head before converging to create a great wheel of fire which rolled into the wall of crystals, shattering them and sending flaming shards flying towards Bellum.

"And I was prepared for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation!" Bellum said as a spherical force field formed around her and blasted outwards, smashing through the shards and flames and expanding towards Fantina and the group.

"And I was prepared for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation for my preparation!" Fantina said as energy bolts leapt out and smashed into the force field, destroying it and crackling towards Bellum.

"And I was prepared for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation!" Bellum said, her eyes glowing as she forced the energy bolts into a sphere in her hands, throwing it into the ground and causing a tremendous explosion that sent tremendous chunks of rock and earth flying all over the place.

"And I was prepared for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation for my preparation!" Fantina said, forming a shield that protected everyone from the debris. The shield transformed into an arrow-shaped energy wall and surged forwards, cutting through the ground towards Bellum.

"And I was prepared for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation!" Bellum said, forming an ice sword that sliced the energy wall in two and then changed the sword into a spear and flung it at Fantina.

"And I was prepared for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation for my preparation!" Fantina said, catching the spear in ectoplasmic tendrils and snapping it in two.

"And I was prepared for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation!" Bellum said, raising her hands and causing a freaking ICEBERG to appear over everyone's heads.

"And I was prepared for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation for my preparation for your preparation for my preparation!" Fantina said as pieces of the ground exploded into flaming boulders which flew upwards and shattered the iceberg.

The group stared incredulously as Bellum and Fantina went back and forth with more and more impressive spells and curses and counter-hexes, each flashier and more spectacular than the last, many of which were so brilliant Todd was unable to get good pictures of them. "Woooow," Buck said.

"That's…got to be some of the most impressive magic I've ever seen," said Rose.

"Eh, the Fourth of July fireworks back home are way cooler," Max said dismissively.

"Considering how prepared both of them claim to be, I'm starting to think you should take a lesson or two from them, Leo," Sasha murmured to the Squirtle.

"What do you think I'm doing?" Leo murmured back, frantically scribbling down notes.

The two witches were now channeling enormous amounts of elemental power, tremendous blasts of fire and ice clashing in the air between them and sending flares of magic blazing away in every direction. "Not bad, Fantina, not bad…but it would seem we know each other too well by now. There doesn't seem to be anything I can do to surprise you, and nothing _you_ can do to surprise me!" Bellum taunted.

"Actually, I believe zere is one zing you _weren't_ prepared for," Fantina said with a hint of a smile.

Bellum frowned in confusion. "And what's that?"

A Shadow Ball blasted into her from behind, causing her to cry in pain and surprise, losing her concentration and causing the massive blast of fire to engulf her. "My new apprentice," Fantina said with a warm smile at Lily, who looked astonished at what she had just done.

_Did…did I…did I really just do that? Did I just strike out at Mother?_ Lily gasped.

_Way to go! _B said.

_She's going to kill me! _Lily cried.

_Then you'd better hit her again and again until that's no longer a problem, don't you think?_ B said.

_I-I guess so…and wait, did Fantina just say I'm her apprentice now?_

_Yeah! Isn't that awesome?_

Bellum coughed, her form smoking as she struggled to recover from Fantina's fiery assault. "You…you dare to strike at me?" she shouted furiously at Lily, who cowered before her Mother's all-too familiar wrath, conditioned responses kicking in. A small part of Bellum's mind wondered why the nun looked strangely familiar, the rest of it was too enraged to really care. "I'm surprised at you, Fantina. Taking on an apprentice? Bringing someone new into our private conflict? You're right, I wasn't prepared for that. But are _you_ prepared to lose her?"

"No such zing shall 'appen," Fantina said, much to Lily's relief. "We shall bozh take you on, and togezer we shall prevail!"

"I…y-yes. Yes. Yes, we will!" Lily said, managing to muster some confidence from the support her friends were giving her in their surreptitious smiles and nods.

"Is that so?" Bellum asked, unimpressed. "If you insist on bringing a witch this green into this, you must be finally losing your edge…or are you that worried I might defeat you, Fantina? Does the power I now possess and the allies I command scare you so much you are grasping for straws?"

"Far from it. If anyzing, I would actually prefer it were just you and me, since zat would mean nobody I cared about was in danger of getting 'urt," Fantina said. "But my friends insisted zey join me in fighting you. Zeir blood and ectoplasm boils at what you 'ave done just as much as mine does, and who am I to deny zem ze chance to participate in somezing as important as zis, a battle zat may define ze future as we know it? You may believe in controlling ozzers, but I 'ave always strived to grant people ze freedom to live as zey choose…and today zey have chosen to stand wiz me against you!"

"Then they are as foolish as you are, for they have chosen to die," Bellum said scornfully. "But if these incompetents insist on playing hero, then they can go right ahead. The beasts of Niflheim have been longing for something warm to kill since they got here, and I see no reason to deny them the slaughter they so dearly desire!" The monsters around her howled joyously at this.

"Zen let us leave zem. Zey would only 'inder us if we wish to fight with everyzing we possess, which I know you do!" Fantina said.

"Indeed I do," Bellum agreed, rising into the air. "Come then, if you dare! Face me with your measly tagalong if that is what you wish. She will die along with all the others whom have chosen to join you in this fool's errand, and I shall relish the anguish on your face as I personally see to their demise!" She vanished into the swirling snow.

"Are you ready, Lilandra?" Fantina asked Lily quietly.

Lily shivered. "No…" She set her face in a resolute expression. "But this is something I must do. I…I cannot let my fear of her govern my existence or hurt the people I care for. I have to show her that…that she cannot hurt me anymore. That I will not let her hurt anyone else. That I have grown beyond her, and found strength in places she would never have thought to look." _I can't believe I'm saying all this. I'm so terrified it's all I can do to keep from fainting on the spot!_

_The fact that you haven't, and that you meant everything you just said, already proves how much you've grown and changed since leaving Bellum,_ B said. _Remember, Lily, you are stronger than you think you are._

_I'd rather I was less scared than I know I am, at the moment,_ Lily said.

_That's courage for you, Lily, facing something even though you're horribly afraid of it. And you've got lots of that, right now!_ B said admiringly.

_I hope that will be enough…_ Lily thought uneasily.

"Um, pardon my asking, but what exactly is your connection to Bellum?" asked a puzzled Sparky. "I don't believe you've mentioned a history with her before now, and what you just said implies you're rather…familiar with her."

Team Aurabolt hesitated. "Um…well, ah, you see…" Lily stammered.

"She used to be a prisoner and love slave of Bellum until she managed to escape and found refuge in the Sisterhood of the Bountiful Gracidea," Leo said quickly. "Naturally, the whole thing was horribly scarring and traumatic, but with the love of the Sisterhood and the smell of fresh flowers, she was able to put it all behind her! Well…mostly. Until now. When all the horrible memories and awful experiences started rising up from the dark corner of her mind she walled them off in."

"Right, what he said," Lily said. She frowned. "Wait, what was that about love slaves?"

"Just play along," he whispered from the corner of his mouth.

"Very succinctly put, Mother Leonora," Pikachu said deadpan.

"Why thank you, Ronin," Leo said with a smile.

"The poor thing…" Silvia said sympathetically.

"Oh! I apologize, I did not know," Sparky said. "I am sorry you had to suffer such travesty, and have been forced to come face to face with your tormentor once again."

"So am I," Lily said regretfully.

"But then how come Bellum didn't recognize you?" Cruise asked.

Lily hesitated. "Um…"

"Facial reconstructive surgery," Leo said quickly.

"Ze magical kind," Fantina said, playing along. "I paid for it. And 'elped 'er escape. Which is why we're so _amical_ and she's my apprentice now."

"Precisely," Lily said in relief.

"Oh, okay," Cruise said.

"Yes, that sounds completely plausible and not in the least bit made up," said Cherry, who naturally knew the truth since she was an oracle. Lily and Leo laughed nervously.

"So, uh, anyway…remember, we've got your back! Just give us a call if you need anything, and we'll come running! We sisters gotta stick together" Leo told Lily.

"And, er, members of religious orders," Ash said. "Since you're a nun, and I'm a monk, which is practically the same career. Sort of."

"…Actually, I'm not sure it is-" Salty started.

"Don't go hating on my religion!" Ash shouted desperately. Pikachu facepalmed and Leo burst into laughter.

"And seekers of truth. Since I'm a professor, and you're a nun, and we both try to learn the secrets of the universe, except I do it in books and you get it from prayer or…flowers…or something," Briney said vaguely. "Yeah."

"And…um…people who have suffered…disgrace, because I was exiled and you were…ah…" Pikachu stammered, trying and failing to think of a plausible connection between Lily's cover and his own.

"Even though our paths in life are dissimilar, we are honorable and devout warriors and will always come to the aid of a holy womon such as yourself," Sasha said.

"Right, that," Pikachu said in relief. "What she said."

Lily smiled gratefully. "I know. Thank you."

_You're not going to call them, are you?_ B said.

_No. They'll have their hands full here. I don't want them to take on more than they can handle,_ Lily replied. "Let's go, Fantina."

Fantina nodded. To the others, she said, "Good luck, all of you."

"Thanks," Buck grumbled. "We're going to need it."

"And if things seem bad, remember that when that spell Fantina, Rebecca and I are working on completes, it'll take care of _everything_," Lily said as she and Fantina started rising above the group. "I think."

"Oh good, will that happen soon?" Todd asked, grateful to know they didn't really have to defeat the hundreds of monsters arrayed against them by themselves.

"No," Rebecca said flatly.

Todd's face fell. "Oh."

"Eh, figures," Max grunted.

"No matter, that just gives us that much more time to kill as many monsters as possible," Briney said cheerfully, smacking a fist into his palm.

"Professor!" said a shocked Silvia. "This is a side of you I've never seen before!"

"There's a lot about me you've never seen, mum," Briney said. His friends had to stifle laughter at that.

"_Au revoir!_" Fantina said as she vanished into the fog.

"Fight well, everyone! And please…be safe…" Lily said, looking specifically at her friends before following suit.

"_Au revoir,_ Mama_!_" Bow said, waving her fan after the two witches. "Good, now zat zey're gone we can really cut loose. Marianne, now zat neizer of our mozzers are 'ere, shall we settle zis dispute between us?"

"Bzzbzbzzzz!" Marianne buzzed, eager to finally have the chance to fight something.

"Zen let us dance," Bow said, twirling about and transforming into a whirlwind that spun towards Marianne. The Rotom turned into a lightning bolt and leapt away, zapping from rooftop to rooftop as the wind mage pursued her.

"Ugh, finally," Paul grunted. "Too much talking, not enough fighting…I guess you two want to take this elsewhere, too?"

"Most certainly," Palmer said pleasantly as Dawn narrowed her eyes. "We wouldn't want anyone getting in the way, after all."

"Heh, fine, if that's what you want. That'll mean you won't be able to call for help when I disembowel you and strangle you with your own intestines, though," Paul said.

"That's fine," Palmer said. "We wouldn't want it any other way, would we Mineko?" Dawn shook her head, body quivering from the effort it took to keep from leaping at Paul and slicing him from groin to gizzard then and there..

Paul frowned, disturbed by the eerie look in the wizard's eyes…and wondering again why the Dragonite looked familiar. It couldn't be _him,_ could it? "Whatever," he said. "I know a place. Come on, then." He backflipped onto the top of a nearby building, the dragons and elementals perched on it shuffling out of the way to give him room, and ran off, jumping from rooftop to rooftop as he went. Dawn chased after him, her powerful legs allowing her to eat up the distance quickly in leaps and bounds, while Palmer spread his wings and soared after her, keeping pace easily while staying low to the ground.

"And I suppose you Aura losers wanna do this somewhere more secluded, too?" Articuno said with a sneer. "Wimps."

"We're not wimps, we just don't want to cause any collateral damage," Ritchie said.

"Though…admittedly, there's not much collateral _to_ be damaged left," Ash pointed out.

"Psh, like I said, wimps," Articuno sneered.

"You'll be thanking us once we purify you and restore you to your true self!" Cruise said.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Ahahaha…hahahahaha…haaaa…oh mon, that is too rich," Articuno gasped, wiping away a tear with a wingtip. "You are _so_ stupid, but then again, you're mortals, and muscleheads at that, so you don't have the slightest idea what you're talking about. Oh, I'm gonna have _way_ too much fun freezing you to death and feasting on your entrails."

"And we're going to have way too much fun opening your heart!...yeah, that sounded better in my head," Ritchie said when everyone looked at him.

"Dumbass," Articuno spat. She spread her wings. "All right, let's do this."

"Sure thing! But one last thing first. Well, two, really. Sparky, while we're gone, you're in charge as usual," Ritchie said.

Sparky nodded. "You can count on me."

"I know I can," Ritchie said while Ash gave Pikachu a glance that amounted to about the same thing. "Second: Team Getem, Armor Up!"

"Armor what now?" Articuno asked in confusion as Ritchie, Sparky, Happy and Salty took out rectangular plates identical to the one Zippo had given the sorceresses earlier.

Zippo snapped his claws in frustration. "Aw mon, I almost wish I hadn't given up my plate for the big ritual, I love Armoring Up!"

"Don't worry, you can do it next time," Rose assured him. "And you can still fight pretty well without it, can't you?"

"Yeah, I'm still totally kickass, but not being able to use it when almost everyone else can is still a major bummer," Zippo complained.

Goldor gasped and stared at the plates greedily while Pikachu and many of the others reverently made the sign of the Wheel. "Oh! The Plates of Arceus! They're so beautiful…ohhhh, I could almost touch them!"

"Don't," Sparky said, pointing his sword at Goldor.

"Backing off," the Claydol said quickly.

"Th-the Plates of Arceus?" Articuno squawked in alarm as the Niflheim monsters took a few steps back, repelled by the strange power radiating off the Plates. "What do you fools think you're doing with those? How did you get those? Those sacred instruments are too powerful for mortals like you to handle! They are beyond your comprehension!"

Ritchie grinned. "Yeah? I think we can comprehend them pretty well, personally." He slapped his Plate, a tan-colored rectangle, to his chest. "'When the universe was created, its shards became this Plate!' Fist Plate, Armor Up!" he shouted. The Plate glowed, and suddenly bands of the same material as it shot out from its edges, wrapping around his torso and shoulder to create a cuirass that covered his chest and back. More bands shot out from the top and bottom of the cuirass to envelop his arms and legs, spikes sprouting from the shoulders, hips, elbows, and knees, with two extra spikes growing from each of his knuckles to accompany the ones already there. His tail became covered in bands too, hardening it into a weapon-like point. More bands wrapped around his neck and then his head, covering the sides of his face, his ears, the top of his nose and the underside of his jaw, but leaving the rest clear. The bands thinned and became form-fitting armor matching his contours. "Power of the Fighter!" he cried as the emblem of a fist appeared on his chest, over the original Plate the rest of the armor was growing from.

Sparky slapped his Plate, a yellow-colored rectangle, to his chest. "'The power of defeated giants infuses this Plate!' Zap Plate, Armor Up!" he shouted. The Plate glowed, and suddenly so did the rest of his armor as the Plate melded with it and caused his whole suit to turn yellow. His pauldrons grew larger and rounder and blades shaped like lightning bolts grew from them. His gauntlets grew longer and started crackling with static electricity. Thin segmented armor covered his tail, causing it to look like a yellow blade, while his sword shimmered with energy and changed shape to zigzag like a lightning bolt. Yellow bands rose up from his breastplate to form a gorget, and more sprang up from that to encompass all of his head, including his ears, in a yellow helmet. The helmet morphed to resemble the helm of a knight, with a lighting bolt-shaped crest growing from the top and a grille with lightning bolt-shaped slits covering his face. "Power of Lightning!" he cried as the emblem of a lightning bolt appeared on his chest, over the original Plate the rest of his armor was growing from.

Happy slapped her Plate, a light green-colored rectangle, to her chest. "'Two beings of time and space set free from the Original One!' Insect Plate, Armor Up!" she shouted. The Plate glowed, and suddenly bands of the same material as it shot out from its edges, enveloping her entire body save for her wings and eyes in a cocoon, as if she were a Metapod again. The bands melded together and took on a spiky, more chitinous look somewhat like a Pupitar's. Segmented armor ran up her antenna. Similar armor ran up the tops of her wings, which shimmered and became multicolored, gaining a rainbow hue. Long segmented multi-jointed limbs ending in barbs and claws and scythes grew from the front and sides of the cocoon, twitching and scything through the air. "Power of the Swarm!" she cried as an emblem resembling a Beautifly appeared on her chest, over the original Plate the rest of her armor was growing from.

Captain Salty slapped his Plate, a dark blue-colored rectangle, to his forehead, since he didn't have a chest due to being a Tentacool. "'Three beings were born to bind time and space!' Splash Plate, Armor Up!" he shouted. The Plate glowed and liquefied, expanding to cover all of his body except for his eyes and red spots. The material flowed down over his tentacles, covering them in segmented armor ending in massive pincers, while a half-dozen smaller tentacles ending in barbs grew from his underside. Large razor-edged fins grew from the back of his head, and needle-like spines sprouted all around the circumference of his head, while a spiky crown-like crest ringed the top of his cranium. "Power of the Sea!" he cried as the emblem of a droplet appeared on his head, over the original Plate the rest of his armor was growing from.

Everyone stared incredulously at the four armored figures. Todd took a picture. "…What the fuck?" a troll finally said in disbelief.

Articuno blinked. "Um…okay, when I said they had powers beyond comprehension, I certainly was not expecting that to happen."

"I guess they're greater than even you can comprehend, too?" a troll joked. Articuno gouged its eyes out with her talons.

"Oh…my…" said a stunned Goldor.

"Wow! They're just like the Poké Rangers!" Buck said excitedly.

"I know, right? Isn't it awesome?" Zippo sighed wistfully. "If only I hadn't needed to give my Plate up…"

"You _chose_ to," Rose pointed out.

"I know, but still!" the Charmeleon said.

"At least you can use one. Since I'm a Normal type, I'll never get the chance to use a Plate, since Arceus is baseline Normal and doesn't have a Plate for it," Lu complained.

"The Creator is far from normal by definition," Bruno said.

"No, I meant…oh, never mind," the Eevee assassin said wearily.

"Again, I'm glad we're fine around holy objects, or that might have hurt," Dean said.

"Which is a good thing, because I don't think I'd mind getting my hands on one of those…" Vladimir murmured.

"Oh. Em. AY! Some of the most sacred artifacts in the world, containing the power of Arceus Himself, can turn their possessors into Sentai? That is so COOL!" Leo squealed giddily. "Oh mon, I wish I had a Plate! Hey, Captain Salty, I don't suppose-"

"No," the Tentacool said bluntly.

Leo sighed. "Oh well, worth a try."

"Eh, it's not that impressive," Briney said. "My armor's much better, and it's _au naturel_."

"My lord, are you all right?" Sasha asked the twitching Pikachu in concern.

"Not now, Kutabe, I'm having an aneurysm," he said in a strangled voice.

"I want one! I want one!" Max cried.

"I don't think so, little buddy, you need to have one of those 'Type' thingies to use those things," Sam said.

"I already have a Type!" Max protested.

"Chaotic sociopathy is a personality trait, not an elemental power," Sam said.

Max's shoulders sagged in disappointment. "Awwww…"

Ritchie grinned. "So, what do you think, Hiori?"

"That's…pretty cool…" said an amazed Ash. Tiny nodded in wordless agreement.

"Well, I'll bet the Mistress is disappointed she can't use the Plates she has like that," Diane said.

"I don't suppose your team happens to have the Spooky Plate? It enhances the powers of Ghost-types," Butler said.

"Unfortunately, no, we don't," Sparky said.

Ash frowned. "Wait a minute…yes you do! You said when we first met that you got it with Rose's help! Which means…you had it all along but didn't give it to Fantina or Lilandra? Why not? They could have really used it!"

"We don't have the Spooky Plate," Rose said.

Ash blinked in confusion. "Huh? But you said-"

"We _used_ to have it," Ritchie confessed. "But after we'd acquired it and returned to the town we've been using as our home base, Lu, who'd been brainwashed by Dr. Blackarachnia, attacked us and stole it."

"We pursued her, and I was able to break her out of it by…ah…" Sparky coughed and Lu blushed. "Anyway, she regained her senses, but not before she'd delivered the Plate to Judgment. Fortunately, she managed to swipe the Insect Plate in its place, leaving our total number of Plates about the same as before."

"And it all worked out for the best, since we got a new team member, and a new Plate that we could actually use!" Happy said.

"Oh," Ash said. "Well…never mind, then."

"Am I the only one who finds the way their adventures sort of mirror ours disturbing?" Sasha murmured.

"Not by a long shot," Pikachu replied.

"Anyway, with this armor, we shouldn't have a problem beating Articuno!" Ritchie said. "Sorry I don't have anything like that for you or Rico, Hiori, but you can hold your own without it, right?"

Ash and Tiny nodded. "Yeah, we've got it covered."

"Good! Then let's get this started!" Ritchie leaped onto a nearby rooftop and started running towards Articuno, the Fist Plate boosting his already exceptional speed and agility to astonishing levels. Cruise hovered beside him, and after giving their friends a quick glance, Ash and Tiny chased after them.

Articuno grimaced and spread her wings. "Suddenly I'm wondering if I may have pecked off a bit more than I can handle…" With a great flap that destroyed the building she had been perched on and knocked over several monsters, she rose into the air, turned, and headed off into the distance. The two Lucarios and Pupitars were on cold pursuit. (Get it? Because of the weather, and Articuno's an Ice type, and…oh, never mind.)

"And I guess that just leaves us," Looker said once they were gone.

"We have to fight all these monsters by ourselves?" Vladimir asked uncertainly.

"Indeed," Butler said, cracking his knuckles. "I have not had a chance to, as they say, 'bust some heads' in quite some time. This will be most enjoyable."

"Oh, definitely," Diane agreed. "It'll be good to fight beside you again, I was getting out of practice." The monsters glanced at each other uncertainly, wondering why only a few of these warm-bloods seemed really worried and the rest looked as if they were actually _looking forward_ to this battle. What had they gotten themselves into?

"Then I guess this means we're going to start fighting now?" a troll asked.

"It looks that way," Bruno said.

"_Finally!_" the troll said in relief. "I thought we'd never get to it with all this talking!"

"Let's kill them!" another troll shouted.

"RAAAAAHHH!" several other trolls bellowed. They surged towards the group, joined by the ice elementals, the wolves, and the ice dragons.

"Here they come!" Pikachu said, drawing his sword.

"Time for the war sequence!" Leo whooped.

And then the battle began.

A horde of ice elementals formed spears, drew back their arms, and hurled them into the air, the javelins arcing upwards then falling back towards the ground in a lethal rain of blades. Cherry, who appeared to be the target of the several dozen projectiles, looked into the future, then calmly took a few steps to the left. The ice spears buried themselves into the ground, many shattering on impact…and absolutely none of them struck Cherry, who had foreseen exactly where she needed to stand to keep from being impaled by them.

Her eyes glowed, and a few of the spears abruptly rose out of the ground, skewering the dire wolves that had been lunging towards her from behind and the sides. As they writhed in pain, howling and whimpering as blood flowed from the spear wound, Cherry calmly took a few steps forward just before a bellowing troll that had jumped off of a nearby building could have flattened her, his weight causing him to sink a few feet into the snow and get stuck. As he grunted in surprise and struggled to pull himself out, Cherry telekinetically grabbed his club from his hand, raised it over his head, and dropped it on his skull, caving it in.

She took a half-step to the right as another several dozen spears rained down on her, then caught them telekinetically and hurled them back at the ice elementals, impaling them through the chest and knocking them over, as well as skewering a number of wolves and trolls and even an ice dragon that had been flying too close to the ground. The head on her tail lashed out and bit down on the nose of a wolf that had been dashing towards her rear with Crunch, causing it to yelp in pain and recoil as blood dripped from its snout, until Cherry lashed out with a flaming Double Kick from her hind legs that knocked his lights (and a few of his teeth) out.

The ice elementals she'd bowled over got back to their feet, wrenched out the spears she'd driven into them (completely unharmed, since they were creatures of pure ice and so could not be harmed by their own element), transformed them into swords, and silently charged towards Cherry. They didn't get very far before a gargantuan flaming ball of Future Sight shot down from the heavens and slammed into their midst, creating an explosion that vaporized most of them and sent the rest flying all over the place, shattering as they hit the ground or the surrounding buildings. Their pieces trembled and started crawling across the ground, trying to reassemble each other, but then another flaming Future Sight slammed into them, and another, and another, until finally there was nothing left of the street where they had been standing but a smoldering crater. Cherry smiled, then took two steps backwards, causing the ice dragon that had been swooping down on her to miss and crash into the ground, skidding and rolling across the snow before smashing into a building and causing it to collapse on top of it. Cherry casually walked over to it, planted a blazing hoof on its dazed head, and Stomped until its skull broke and blood splattered all over the place. She wiped her hoof off on the snow and turned to the large group of trolls eyeing her warily. "I foresaw my victory over them," she told them, her eyes glowing. "Want to guess what sort of future I predict for you?"

Elsewhere…

"Hmmph. I'll bet you think that just because I'm an old, blind womon I'm easy prey, is that it?" Rebecca asked the pack of wolves circling her.

"Actually, it's why we haven't closed in yet," one of the wolves confessed.

Rebecca frowned. "Oh? And why is that?"

"Because old, blind womon who look like easy prey are generally anything but," the wolf said. "And any pack that doesn't figure that out doesn't last very long."

"Ah, very good," the Hypno said, a pleased look on her face. "Now, can you tell me what sort of danger I represent to you?"

"Um…you're some sort of martial arts master?" a wolf suggested.

"Yeah, that's the most common one next to legendary swordsmon. Er, swordswomon," another wolf said.

"A nice try, but no," Rebecca said.

"You're going to hypnotize us?" another wolf suggested. "You're a Hypno, after all."

"Another good guess," Rebecca said. "Hypnos of my age tend to have incredible powers of mind control, and are so good at hypnosis they can mesmerize someone without even looking at them or bothering with the whole pendulum thing. The truly great ones can bend someone to their will with the sound of their voice alone."

"A-and is that what you're doing to us now?" a wolf asked nervously.

"No," Rebecca said. "Your guesses were all excellent ones, but unfortunately incorrect. You see, I'm a spiritualist, and do you know what that means?"

"…That you can talk to dead people?" a wolf asked.

"No, that I can communicate with spirits of nature and magic as well as the souls of those who have passed beyond the pale," Rebecca said.

"So you _do_ talk to dead people," the same wolf said.

"And other things, yes," Rebecca said.

The wolves did not let their guard down. There had to be more to this than just that. There always was with seemingly harmless blind old womons. "So…you talk to things? What's dangerous about that?" a wolf asked warily.

Rebecca smiled. "Well, I don't just _talk_ to them, see. Sometimes I can ask them for favors, such as, dealing with a mangy pack of wolves?"

The pack tensed. "Wait, what?" one of them cried.

"Hey, we aren't mangy!" another said, completely missing the point. "It's too cold for skin parasites in Niflheim!"

"I'm happy to hear that, and apologize for making such disparaging comments about your hygiene," Rebecca said.

"Thank you," the wolf said, causing the others to sweatdrop, the liquid freezing and creating another glittering object plastered to their fur.

"Now, where was I? Oh yes, asking the local spirits for help. Hmm, let's see…ice is too riled up by this Niflheim mess, but thanks to Bow toning down the blizzard the wind spirits are calm enough to lend a hand…" Rebecca said, twirling a finger in the air and causing a powerful gust of wind to blow back the fur on the wolves before swirling around and transforming into a half-dozen or so transparent beautiful feminine figures with bodies like cyclones shaped into humanoid form. "And this is mountainous terrain, so the earth spirits are especially strong here, and very displeased by the way you've reshaped the region by dropping an alien landscape on top of it and making the ground so cold," Rebecca continued as the ground shook and several enormous vaguely humanoid figures made of interconnected boulders clawed their way out from beneath the snow. "And this is old mining country, so even though all the ore's been dug up the land still remembers the metal it once contained…and where a land has memories, you're guaranteed to find spirits!" More of the earth was torn up as jagged shiny figures made of numerous different metals and alloys burrowed up behind the earth elementals, their misshapen and asymmetrical forms glittering with gemstones and mineral deposits encrusted in their surfaces. "Oh yes, and before I forget…you've done a good job putting out all the fires around here, but thanks to the Enchanted Express, a new source of heat has been introduced to the area…and where there's heat, there's fire spirits, especially thanks to the fire-element spells that have been cast on all of us!" A number of serpents of flame with Gastly expressions on their faces ignited to life, writhing and shrieking as their superhot forms reacted to the extreme cold. "Aaaand…yes, that should about do it. Spirits, do your stuff, and make sure to have a nice time."

"Oh crap!" the wolves howled as the monstrous elemental creatures bore down on them.

Rebecca smiled thinly at the ensuing sounds of carnage, her ethereal companions whispering descriptions of the battle to her, then frowned and turned around when they warned her of an especially massive troll charging towards her, the monster knocking down the rock and metal spirits and ignoring the flames and razor-sharp gusts of wind the fire and air elementals bombarded him with. "Your puny magic doesn't scare me! In Niflheim, ice reigns supreme!"

"Then it's a good thing we're not in Niflheim, but in a part of my world you thought it was all right to invade and change to your liking without asking the locals, both mortal and otherworldly, how they felt about it. Stop where you are, please," Rebecca said. The troll froze in place. "Very good. Now, please go help my friends, would you?"

"Yes, mistress. Raaaagghhh!" the troll raaaagghhhed as it turned and charged towards the wolves and other trolls battling the elementals.

"Wait, what're you-" one wolf started before a swing of a club silenced him permanently.

"Hey, stop! You're on our side!" another wolf cried in alarm as he tried to evade the troll's wildly flailing weapon.

"How are you doing this? I thought you weren't a hypnotist!" a wolf yelled at Rebecca.

Rebecca scoffed. "Not a hypnotist? Don't be ridiculous, of course I am. I'm a Hypnos, aren't I? What kind of Hypnos can't hypnotize someone?"

"But…but you said-" the wolf protested.

"I said I wasn't going to hypnotize you, I never said I _couldn't._ I'm an excellent hypnotist, but I prefer conversing with spirits more," Rebecca said.

"…Oh. Damn," the wolf said.

"See, this is why we should never attack blind old womon! They're _always_ pulling shit like this!" another wolf cried as he nipped futilely at the laughing air elementals swirling around him.

"That's right, we always are," Rebecca said.

Meanwhile…

"Okay, stay calm, stay calm, stay calm…ack!" Buck yelped in alarm as he levitated himself out of the way of the snapping jaws of the dire wolves that had been chasing him. "Okay, way too close. Umm, how do I cast a fireball again?" His mind raced as he desperately tried to recall his elementary spell lessons, but he was too frightened and on edge from the monsters all over the place to think straight. If he just had a second to calm down and get his act together, he was sure he could handle this. But how was he supposed to calm his mind with all the chaos-

Ah. Of course. His eyes glowed and his body was surrounded by blue light as he used Calm Mind, getting his emotions under control as well as raising his special attack and special defense as an added bonus. Murmuring the proper incantation under his breath, he conjured a great fireball over his head and hurled it down at the wolves, who yelped and scattered as it exploded and sent embers flying all over the place. "Haha, yeah, you better run!" He taunted as he conjured more fireballs and floated after the wolves, flinging fiery spheres at them. "What's wrong little doggies, can't take the heaaaaAAAAAGGGGH!" he screamed when an ice dragon swooped down and grabbed him in its claws. "Hey, let go of me!" The dragon bent its neck down and roared in his face, covering him in frost. Buck responded by throwing a fireball down its gullet, causing its head to explode and the beast to drop from the air. He broke free with a flaming Rapid Spin, grabbed the dragon telekinetically, and hurled it downwards, crushing the wolves he'd been chasing. He launched several more fireballs at them to make sure they were all dead, his confidence growing as the corpses were set ablaze. _Maybe this won't be so bad after all._

This attitude was reinforced when several ice elementals lining the rooftops hurled their spears at him. He casually snared them with his telekinesis and suspended them around him in a whirling sphere of blades, setting their tips on fire before flinging the weapons back at their owners. Spears rained down all over the place, piercing ice elementals and destroying them as the enchanted flames engulfed their forms, and killed a number of wolves as well. He laughed as the monsters scurried from him, reveling in his power…

Until a troll to whom the spears were nothing more than annoying pinpricks, charged forwards, jumped onto the pile of burning wolf and dragon corpses, and launched himself at Buck in a single bound, tusked mouth open in a bellow of rage as flames trailed off his form. Buck screamed and panicked, trying to shove the troll away with Psychic before it could eat him or something. His telekinetic powers flung the troll back down to earth, and the frantic Baltoy hurled several fireballs after it to make sure it stayed down…

But he forgot about the troll's club, which the beast had flung into the air just before Buck grabbed hold of it with his mind, and so was unaware that it was falling back towards him until it was too late and it smashed into the back of his skull hard enough to dent his bronze finish, causing him to see stars as he tumbled from the air and crashed to the ground. He blacked out for a moment, and came to just in time to feel the troll's disgusting horny foot press down on his head. Buck gasped as the monster applied pressure to his skull, the odor of its foot almost as overwhelming as the pain it was inflicting on his cranium. The heavily wounded troll cackled malevolently as it stamped down harder, anticipating the crack as Buck's ceramic body broke…

Only for _him_ to break when a pair of metal Claydol slammed into his chest with a flaming gold and silver Rapid Spin like a shimmering tornado, screaming, "GET AWAY FROM OUR SON!" The troll howled in pain as he was flung backwards, his ribs utterly shattered, as was his spine when he slammed into a building, which promptly collapsed on him, burying him beneath a few tons of snow and brick and metal. He didn't have to worry about how much his body hurt for very long, though, because the tremendously oversized rage-fueled fiery Hyper Beam Goldor blasted him with vaporized him, the rubble of the house he'd crashed into, and pretty much every other house on the block. "And that's what happens to ANYONE who tries to hurt my family!" he shouted.

"M-Mom? Dad?" Buck whispered, struggling to lift his head to see his parents.

"Hush dear, you've been badly hurt. Hold on." Silvia gently touched her cannon-shaped arms to the Baltoy, casting a healing spell that mended his wounds and revitalized him in seconds. She tutted when she saw the dent in the back of his head remained. "Oh dear, I don't think I can get that out…perhaps our family healer could fix it?"

"Leave it; it's a battle scar, a badge of honor! He's earned it!" Goldor said, moustache bristling with pride as he floated back to his wife and son. "My son, the fighter! I never thought you had it in you, boy. We saw what you did back there! It was incredible! Well done, Buck! Good show!"

"Th-thanks, Dad," Buck said, awed by the rare and heartfelt praise from his father. He struggled to levitate off the ground.

"Don't move, Buck, you're still weak-" Silvia said.

"N-no Mom, I'm okay now, thanks to you," Buck said. "Thank you both for saving me. But…what were you doing here?"

"Looking for you, of course! We lost sight of you when all the fighting started. Where did you run off to?" Silvia chided.

"Probably to take down some monsters on his own so he didn't have to worry about us coddling him or stealing his kills! Well done, my boy!...though you shouldn't have run off so far. Your mother and I were really worried about you," Goldor scolded.

Buck trembled, looking down at the ground ashamedly. "A-actually…I was trying to get back to the train. I was…_really_ scared when the fighting started. I was afraid that I'd get killed, so I ran away. But there's monsters all over the place, and so many things that want to kill us, a-and I just wanted to find a safe place, but I got lost, and…"

Goldor and Silvia exchanged worried looks. "…Maybe we should have listened when you said you wanted to stay on the Enchanted Express," Silvia realized slowly. "I'm sorry, Buck. I shouldn't have ignored your worries. You almost got hurt as a result of our negligence! You were right, this battlefield is no place for a child…"

"Would you like us to escort you back to the train, son?" Goldor asked with a tenderness that Buck couldn't remember ever hearing from his father before. "The last time I looked, there were quite a few pyrotechnics going off there as these Niflheim beasts kept trying to break through the defenses, but I'm sure we can find a way to get you on board where it's relatively safer."

"I…thanks," Buck said in relief.

"All right," Silvia said. "Then let's head for the train."

"And then, once you're safe, we'll come back to help the others-" Goldor started.

"Wait!" Buck said in alarm. "You're going back out there? Aren't…aren't you going to stay with me?"

Goldor and Silvia gave him apologetic looks. "I'm afraid not, dear," Silvia said sadly.

"We gave Duchess Fantina our word that we would help her repel these otherworldly invaders like everyone else," Goldor said. "I know there are many who would say I'm a lazy and indolent businessmon who doesn't get his hands dirty…but when the chips are down, I'm not the kind of mon who hides while others are risking their lives. Well, unless it's an assassination attempt against me, but that goes without saying."

"Every able-bodied mon agreed to join the fray," Silvia said. "That includes us."

"But…but…you could get killed!" Buck protested.

"That is a risk I'm afraid we're going to have to take," Silvia said.

"If this Niflheim thing isn't stopped, it could ruin the lives of thousands of Pokémon, some of whom may be my employees," Goldor said. "That is why we must fight."

"But there are lots of other people fighting! You don't have to be a part of it!" Buck protested. "You can stay in the train with me!"

"We cannot," Goldor said. "Sometimes one person can make all the difference in a fight of this magnitude…and there are two of us, which will make an even bigger difference!"

"Much like the Duchess, we are possessed of great wealth and power," Silvia said. "She uses it to help other people, like right now. It is…perhaps time that we did the same. After all, don't those comics you read always say something about great responsibility coming with great power…or something like that?"

"I-I guess…" Buck stammered.

"Which is why we're going to get you back to the train, then rejoin the fray," Goldor said. "So come on son, let's go."

"No," Buck said so suddenly that he even surprised himself.

Goldor frowned. "No? What do you mean?"

"I-I'm not going," Buck said before he could change his mind. "I'm staying here. I'm going to fight with you guys."

"Buck, what are you talking about? You can't stay, it's too dangerous!" Silvia protested.

"That didn't seem to matter to you earlier," he said flatly.

Goldor snickered. "He has a point, dear."

Silvia flushed. "Yes…well…"

"I can't stay behind while you guys are fighting," Buck insisted. "It's…it's just like you both said, I shouldn't hide while someone else is fighting in something big and important, and…and if I have this power, then I should do something with it, right? Something good? I mean, otherwise what's the point of learning how to do magic in the first place, if you can't use it to do something really worthwhile?"

"Well, I can actually think of a lot of things, but I can see that you're on the verge of something, so go on," Goldor said.

"You said that two people can make a difference…so what about three?" Buck continued. "Before, you were fine about us fighting together as a family. Well…now so am I. I'll admit, I'm still kind of scared, especially since I now know just how intense and close things can get, but…but I'm just as scared of the same thing happening to you. If I stay with you guys, maybe I can make sure that won't happen, just like _I_ know you won't let it happen to me. Again, that is."

"Oh…oh, Buck!" Silvia sobbed, hugging her son. "That's one of the most beautiful things I've ever heard."

"Mooooom!" Buck protested, embarrassed.

"Oh relax, dear, there's nobody around to see us but the monsters," Silvia said.

"Well done, boy! I'm starting to think dragging you out here _was_ a good idea after all, you seem to have learned something important about yourself," Goldor said. "Very well! We will stay together, and fight as a family! And now's our chance to prove it, too, since we seem to be surrounded."

Silvia and Buck looked up and started when they realized that they were surrounded by close to a hundred ice monsters. "Gah! Where did they all come from?" Silvia cried.

"They probably snuck up on us while we were having our touching family moment," Goldor said.

"Wh-why haven't they attacked yet?" Buck stammered.

"No doubt they were too enamored by our dramatic bonding to even think about interrupting! After all, it's not like they have anything like proper entertainment to keep their simple minds occupied back where they come from," Goldor said.

"Actually, we have some pretty good theater," a troll corrected him.

"Oh," Goldor said. "Er…sorry."

"Is it opera?" Silvia asked.

"Yeah, how did you know?" the surprised troll asked.

"Eh, lucky guess," she said.

"Anyway! If you're finished with your sappy reunion…DIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEE!" a wolf howled, charging towards the trio. The other monsters roared and quickly followed suit.

"Hmmph! Heartless brutes. They have no appreciation for family drama. Let's show them what we're capable of!" Silvia declared.

"I'm with you, Mom!" Buck said.

"As am I, dearest!" Goldor said.

"Right! Let's give them a triple Rapid Spin! _That_ should show them not to mock our family bonding sessions!" Silvia said. Her husband and son nodded, and they started spinning in place, each of them quickly turning into a fiery gold, silver, and bronze blur. The twirling dolls spun around each other, moving faster and faster, until they blended together to create a powerful flaming metallic tornado that towered into the sky and began stripping nearby buildings, the gale-force winds they generated sucking debris and rubble into the midst of the storm. Suddenly realizing they might have made a mistake, the monsters frantically tried to reverse and run away, but outrunning a tornado is much more difficult in real life than movies and video games would have you believe. Screaming, they were swept off their feet and pulled into the shimmering vortex, rising higher and higher as the weaker ones were torn apart and incinerated and the more durable ones were battered to the point that every bone in their body was broken and burned until their skin was charred black. Those that managed to survive for more than a few seconds were flung out the top of the cyclone and sent flying miles away, never to be seen again (well, by the combatants, anyway).

Gradually, the tornado's spin decreased and the wind died down as it separated back into its three individual components, which themselves slowed down and resolved themselves from metallic blurs into the figures of Goldor, Silvia, and Buck. "Whoaoaoaoaoaoaooo…" Buck slurred as he wobbled about in a daze before falling flat on his face and throwing up. Somehow. Despite not having a mouth.

"Can somebody stop the world, please? I want to get off…" Silvia said dizzily.

"My word! That was spectacular! I had no idea we were capable of something like that when we combined our powers!" Goldor said giddily. "Let's do it again!" Silvia threw up on him. Again, despite not having a mouth. "As soon as you regain your balance, that is."

Nearby…

Briney was surrounded on all sides by several dozen very big, very intimidating, very smelly trolls. He stared at them as they snorted and stomped and snarled at him, not looking in the least bit impressed. "Hmmph. And who are you lads supposed to be?"

"We are proud warriors of Shivhel, ruler of Niflheim!" one of the trolls bellowed.

"We have fought hundreds of battles in her name, and sacrificed countless warm-bloods to appease her thirst for blood and souls!" another growled.

"You shall be the next to die for her eternal glory!" said yet another.

"Then I'm afraid we may have a bit of a problem," Briney said.

The trolls hesitated. "What do you mean?" one of them asked.

"I'm a Steel-type Pokémon. Made of metal, you see," Briney said, knocking on one arm and causing a clear metallic clank to ring across the street. "I don't have any blood, warm or cold. Just oil. I'm afraid your queen wouldn't find me particularly appetizing."

"It matters little if you have blood or not, you are a mortal from the disgusting lands of warmth and summer!" a troll snarled.

"Your death shall please her no matter what form of creature you are, as will the deaths of your pathetic comrades!" said another.

"Then I'm afraid we have another problem," Briney said.

The trolls hesitated again. "What do you mean?" one of them asked.

"You see, I personally don't mind if I die. I have someone waiting for me on the other side, and a guaranteed one-way ticket to her once my time is up." Briney narrowed his eyes. "My friends, on the other hand…they're off-limits. For every one of them you harm, I shall kill a hundred of you, and keep killing, until none of your kind is left to roam these frigid mountains. And once I'm finished with you, I'll tear down your queen's palace around her ears and send her scurrying to the farthest, darkest, coldest reaches of her domain, where she shall remain for all time, shivering in fright and pissing herself every time I pass within a hundred _universes_ of her."

A smarter person would have noticed the look in Briney's eye (the real one, since the other one was glass) and heard the tone in his voice and quietly backed off and maybe jumped in the nearest portal to another dimension and never stopped running. The trolls, unfortunately for them, were not particularly smart. "Pah! Is that supposed to impress us?" one said, spitting in Briney's face and covering his glasses in thick, slimy saliva. That was his first mistake.

Abruptly the wind stopped blowing as hard or as loud, and the temperature seemed to drop a few degrees, but since this was Niflheim none of the trolls thought anything of it. That was their second mistake. "You shouldn't have done that," Briney said slowly as he reached up to take his glasses off.

"Oh yeah? What are you going to-" said the abysmally stupid troll, which was his third and final mistake before Briney flicked his wrist and suddenly his throat burst open in a shower of blood. As the troll gurgled and collapsed to the ground, another troll suddenly found himself missing an ear, another his crotch, and another still his _left arm_. Something whirled through the mass of trolls at high speed, slicing and cutting and dismembering, leaving them shouting and gasping in pain, something that Briney casually raised his hand to catch, revealing it to be some kind of incredibly sharp white boomerang or something that was also on fire. As they gawked at it in disbelief, Briney's glass eye popped out of its socket, burst into flames, and rocketed through the air at subsonic speeds, smashing into a troll's head so hard it went right through and out the other side, and kept going, ricocheting all over the place as it bashed and bounced and battered the trolls so hard that many of their bones were broken. As they flailed about in dismay, desperately trying to stop the rampage of the little glass sphere, Briney shrugged off his jacket and carelessly threw it away, where it found itself wrapped around a troll's neck and tightened hard enough to strangle it to death. As the asphyxiated troll fell to the ground, Briney stretched out his free hand to the heavens, and as if the divine were answering his prayer, his eyepatch and captain's hat descended from on high and gently placed themselves over his empty socket and on top of his head. The trolls, who had managed to finally catch the glass eye and were desperately stomping it to pieces, hesitated, sensing something truly momentous and badass was about to happen, and turned just in time to watch Briney slowly and reverently put his boomerang under his nose, where it locked into place and revealed itself to not be a boomerang at all, but his mustache. "Ah," he said, closing his eye in bliss. "_Much_ better."

Several of the trolls lost control of their bowels without knowing why. A strange and horrible sensation had taken hold of their hearts, something strange and unfamiliar that they had never experienced before. That sensation was, of course, fear. "Who…" a troll whispered, something he'd never done before, since loud yelling was the default volume for most trolls. "Who _are_ you?"

Briney gave them a terrifying grin that showed all of his many very large sharp metal fangs. "Who am I, you ask? Why, that's simple." He clenched his fists, his body beginning to glow with incredible power. "I! AM! _BRINEY!_"

With that, he Exploded. The blast vaporized two-thirds of the trolls and obliterated a sizable chunk of the town. As the light and the flames and the noise died down and the remaining trolls teetered about in agony, trying to figure out what the Abyss had just happened to them, Briney fell upon them like a block of houses. Or more specifically, he dropped a block of houses on them, falling back on one of his favorite techniques. He dropped several more houses after that, in fact, just to make sure they were dead. After all, there was no kill like overkill, right?

There was a sharp whistle of something moving through the air, and Briney turned to see about a hundred or so ice spears being flung at him from ice elementals wisely standing very far away from him. Unfortunately, they weren't standing far enough away to avoid the wrath of Briney. With a wave of his hand, Briney casually disintegrated the ice spears, then used his psychic powers to shatter the elementals and send the shrapnel flying all over the place, imbedding it in the eyes and joints and groins and mouths of the wave of monsters behind them. As they fell to the ground moaning in pain, trickles of blood rolling down their bodies, one troll who had managed by sheer dumb luck to avoid the worst of the shrapnel decided to squander it by charging at Briney, roaring and swinging his axe over his head. As the trolls watched in horror and disbelief, Briney just _looked_ at him and he dropped dead on the spot. (Actually, Briney used his psychic powers to stop the troll's heart, but the other trolls didn't know that.) As the monsters stared in shock and incredulity at the troll Briney had slain with just a glare, somebody screamed, "N-no! It can't be! He's Wodin One-Eye!"

"No! Not Wodin! We're fucked!" a troll cried, a desperate cry which soon found itself rising from the throats of several dozen other monsters.

"Please spare us, Wodin! W-we didn't know it was you, honest!" a wolf begged.

Briney frowned in puzzlement. "Wodin? Who the Abyss is that?" Briney quickly scanned their minds and found the information he was looking for. Wodin One-Eye was a one-eyed deity or demigod of death or something like that who rode on an eight-legged Rapidash, wielded a lethal sword and spear, and had a mustache almost as nice as his. "Oh, _that_ guy? No, I'm not him. I'm much worse."

He proved this by dashing forwards and hitting a troll in the gut with a flaming Meteor Mash so powerful his fist not only smashed through the troll's back but buried itself in the stomach of the three trolls standing behind him. While they were still on his arm, he spun all over the place like a flaming whirling dervish with Gyro Ball, the trolls he was carrying serving as an effective bludgeon to knock away all the monsters standing near Briney. When the centrifugal force was too much and the trolls finally flew off his arm, Briney stopped spinning and began laying into the beasts with fiery Bullet Punches, Metal Claws, and more Meteor Mashes, crushing their bodies and breaking their bones and lighting them on fire with devastating blows. A desperate troll swung his mace down on Briney's head as hard as he could, only for his weapon to shatter on impact with the Metang's iron-hard cranium and jar the troll's bones so hard he shook all over. Without even turning around, Briney casually grabbed the splintered and broken handle of the troll's weapon and flung it over his head, sending the troll with it. He shot upwards and slammed his forehead into the troll's skull with a flaming Zen Headbutt so strong that the troll's head was shoved all the way into its torso and burst out of its anus. He psychically grabbed the body and slammed it into the ground hard enough to crater it as well as flatten anyone unfortunate enough to be beneath him at the time.

An ice dragon swooped down and tried to freeze him solid with its ice breath, but Briney deflected the breath attack with Protect, then telekinetically grabbed its wings, tore them off, grabbed it by the tail as it fell, and whirled around with Gyro Ball, once more using a monster as an improvised weapon, the ice breath the terrified and pain-stricken dragon spewed all over the place freezing most of the surrounding monsters in their tracks. He hurled the wingless dragon away, opened his mouth to gather power, and shot a fiery Hyper Beam in a circle, obliterating the frozen monsters in a series of explosions that shook the town and sent twisting pillars of fire roaring up into the dark skies, the heat washing over Briney's form and causing it to turn an eerie red as his body became as hot as a furnace. Naturally, he didn't flinch or show the slightest bit of discomfort at the increase in his body temperature. It would have been unmonly of him.

As the smoke and the flames died down, revealing the destruction he had wrought upon this portion of Dusty Ditch, he stared balefully at the handful of monsters that had somehow managed to survive his assault. "So," he said ominously, giving them an especially horrifying Scary Face. "Who else wants some?"

None of them did, as it turned out. Two died of heart attacks on the spot, a few fainted, and the rest ran away, screaming and gibbering at the tops of their lungs, their minds utterly shattered by terror (and maybe a few Psychic prods Briney had given them to accelerate the process). Chuckling as his metal skin cooled back down to its regular temperature, he telekinetically grabbed some clumps of snow to wipe off the bloodstains on his hide. "Well, that was a nice warm-up," he said as snow timidly began to fall again in the space his attacks had leveled. "Now, let's see about finding a _real_ challenge, eh?"

Unfortunately, before Briney could find one, something else found him. "I think all those explosions came from over—sweet baby Merlin!" Goldor shouted as he and his family floated around a corner and saw Briney and the utter carnage he had caused.

Briney swore. _Aww, crap._

"What…what happened here? And…Professor? Is that you?" Silvia cried.

"Uh…well…you see…" Briney said awkwardly.

"OhmiArceus, it's Captain Whitestache!" Buck squealed, causing Briney to facepalm since, due to his frequent (and often regretted) readings of Leo's mind, he knew exactly who the Baltoy was talking about.

"Who?" asked a confused Goldor, somewhat dazed by the sight of all the fire and charred earth and shattered buildings…and bodies.

"Captain Whitestache! One of the most badass characters ever from the _world_ of badass that's Two Piece!" Buck said excitedly. "He was the strongest mon in the world, with the awesomest mustache in the world too, who…died in a tragic but incredibly badass manner." He frowned in confusion. "Wait…but you can't be Whitestache. Whitestache _died_…and was another species…and is a character from a manga, though considering the nigh-infinite nature of the Omniverse that doesn't mean he can't exist somewhere."

"Ah, no, I'm not Captain Whitestache, though I'm flattered you thought I was" Briney said embarrassedly. "You were right the first time Silvia, it's me, Professor Brindleworth. Except, um, that's not my real name, and I'm not actually a professor."

"You're…you're not?" Silvia asked incredulously.

"And to think we dined with you! And took travel advice from you!" Goldor asked angrily. "Who the Ruler of Evil are you then, mon?"

"I! Am! BRINEY!" Briney roared, Exploding. They stared at him blankly. "Er, sorry," he said Mareepishly as the smoke died down. "Force of habit."

"Ah," Goldor said faintly.

"You are so cool!" Buck yelled.

"Yeah, I get that a lot," Briney said, hiding a smile.

"And who exactly is 'Briney?' And why did you lie to us?" Silvia demanded.

"Well, if you lower your mental shields I could show you all in a heartbeat," Briney said.

"Absolutely not!" Goldor said indignantly.

Briney sighed. "Yeah, that's what I figured. Okay, we'll do this the hard way then…" And so, somewhat reluctantly, Briney told them his story.

At that moment…

"Burn with me! Buuuuurn wiiiiith meeeeee!" Max shouted maniacally as he waved his flamethrower all over the place, great gouts of flame spurting from its end and igniting the surrounding buildings as well as the flesh of any monster too close to him.

"What _is_ that thing?" a troll asked incredulously.

"And why is he telling us to 'burn with him' if he's not on fire himself?" another wondered. "It doesn't make any sense!"

"You know what else doesn't make sense?" Max shouted as he set the troll's butt on fire, causing him to yelp in pain and jump a few feet into the air. "Your mother!"

"We don't have mothers," the first troll said while the second ran about frantically with his rear end aflame.

Max frowned as the flaming troll sat down in a pile of snow to put out his tuckus with a sigh of relief. "You don't? Then where do new trolls come from?"

"Oh, we sprout fully formed from the armpits and between the toes of frost giants when they sleep," the troll said.

Max lowered his flamethrower and stared at the troll incredulously. "Okay, that's…that's kinda gross and weird even for me."

"Well, we're magical creatures from an elemental plane. You can't expect our biology and reproductive cycles to work the same way it does in other places," the troll said.

"True," Max admitted. "But wait, if trolls come from frost giants, where do frost giants come from?"

"Mountains that get tired of being inanimate and decide they want to walk about," another troll said.

Max raised an eyebrow. "…Right. And those dragons?" he asked, pointing at the winged reptiles circling overhead.

"They hatch from ice crystals infused with Queen Shivhel's magic," a troll said.

Max nodded slowly. "Uh-huh. And those wolves?"

"Our females give live birth to a litter of cubs after we mate with them, much like you filthy warm-bloods!" a wolf howled as he lunged at Max from behind, aiming for the fuel tank Max was wearing to power up his flamethrower.

He never got there, because a loud bang rang out and the wolf slumped to the ground a few inches short of Max, blood oozing from a gaping hole in its head. "Actually, Max hatched from an egg that was one of a dozen laid by his father in one sitting and rose to dominance after killing and devouring the rest of his siblings from that clutch in a vicious and incredibly grisly series of violent and bloody fights," Sam said as he cocked the smoking gun that had fired the flaming bullet that saved Max's life.

"That's right, and I intended to do the same to my older and younger siblings until I discovered television and lost interest," Max said.

The trolls exchanged disturbed looks. "Okay, now _that's_ weird."

"Says you!" Max said, lighting them on fire and laughing as they screamed and writhed in agony. "Burn! Burn! Buuuuuurn!"

"Max, do I have to take away your flamethrower again?" Sam asked as he casually shot a wolf that had been sneaking up behind him between the eyes.

"No! Don't take it away! I'll be good, I promise!" Max said, hugging the weapon.

"Your ears are crossed," Sam observed as without even looking he extended his arm to the side and blasted a troll charging towards him in the eye.

"Saaaam! You know I can't be good!" Max whined as he reluctantly uncrossed his ears.

"Well, that's true. Can you at least promise to keep the wanton destruction to a minimum?" Sam asked as he backhanded a wolf pouncing down at him from a rooftop without turning around.

"Define 'minimum,'" Max said.

"Don't burn the town and everything in it, including me, to the ground," Sam said as he pointed his gun straight upwards and fired, dropping an ice dragon with a single shot.

"Eh, I'll see what I can do," Max said grudgingly. He whipped around and pumped the trigger on the flamethrower, flinging massive fireballs at the ice elementals charging him. "Burn! Burn! Mwahahahaha!"

"Have fun, little buddy," Sam said as he turned and pumped another troll full of flaming lead. "That's seventy-eight."

"Eighty-one," George, standing atop a rooftop said as she shot a flaming arrow from her crossbow that melted an ice elemental in a burst of fire.

"Eighty-five," Sam said, standing his ground and picking off a pack of slavering wolves that charged towards him one at a time.

"Ninety-one," George said as she fired a series of arrows which buried their heads in the thick flesh of a group of trolls. They looked down at the measly arrows and laughed…until the arrows started beeping. They had about three seconds to wonder what was going on before the arrows exploded, taking the trolls with them.

A couple of dozen ice elementals charged towards Sam, their spears and icy bodies clacking against each other. Reaching into his jacket, he pulled out a soda can and a bag of Pop Rocks. He shook the can and ripped off the top of the bag with his teeth, then broke open the top of the can, stuffed it into the bag, and flung it at the ice elementals. When it was over the frigid fiends, he raised his gun, aimed, and fired, piercing the can with a single bullet. The resulting explosion was tremendous, destroying all the elementals in a fiery blast. "One hundred and thirteen!" he shouted at George.

The Mightyena glared at him, sighted along her crossbow, and then fired an arrow into the neck of an ice dragon. The monster shrieked in pain and fell from the air, crashing into a building and causing it to collapse, knocking over the building next to it, and the building next to that one, and the building next to that one, in a chain reaction that destroyed an entire block and buried all the monsters on or near those buildings in a pile of snow and ice and rubble. She smirked cockily at Sam, who barked, "That only counts as _one!_"

While that was going on…

Sasha dashed through the snow as a pack of wolves chased after her, feeling an exhilaration she had not experienced in quite some time. This was her element, fighting in the snow against predators seeking to harm those she held dear, not battling in cities and underwater temples or traveling in cramped metal contraptions that rattled and shook and boxed her in with far too many other Pokémon. True, this place was far colder than her own territory, and her danger sense was blaring at her louder than it ever had back home except when something _really_ bad was happening, but if she half-closed her eyes and ignored the street signs and corpses on spikes all around her she could almost imagine she was back in the Frosty Forest again.

"You can't escape us, bitch!" the leader of the pack howled, foam and cold mist steaming from his jaws. "This is our land! We are bigger than you, stronger, faster! We can outrun you and outlast you! You cannot hide from us!"

"Who said anything about hiding?" Sasha shot back, her senses alerting her that she was near her destination. "I have you right where I want you!"

The wolf blinked. "What?"

Sasha skidded and abruptly changed directions as she turned a corner into an intersection, her claws clattering as they left scratches in the ice. She bounded down the lane, which opened into a small park that had been turned into a frosted white abbatoir, with snow-covered corpses dangling from tree branches and scattered carelessly across the ground. Sasha snarled in disgust as she ran past the bodies, revolted both by the waste of life…and the waste of meat. _They haven't even bothered to eat much of it! The savages!_

Her head blade flashing as she flicked it, sending blazing Psycho Cuts ahead of her to slice through trees and iced-over bushes, clearing her path as she dashed out into a wide, open field. She ran to the other side, then stopped in her tracks and turned around to face the wolves, which were now halfway across the field from her. "Ah, so you've finally given up?" one of the wolves snarled.

"Don't worry, we'll kill you quickly…after having a little fun with you!" another barked.

"I haven't fucked a bitch as fine as you in quite a while! This is going to be magnificent!" the pack leader howled.

"It is," Sasha said. "But not for you." She drew back a paw, claw burning with flames and Dark power, and slammed it into the ground with Night Slash. There was a loud cracking sound, and the wolves hesitated, suddenly realizing that beneath the layer of snow covering it the ground they were standing on seemed rather smooth and slippery…a bit _too_ smooth and slippery for a field.

And that's when the frozen surface of the pond shattered, submerging the wolves in _extremely_ cold water. The beasts cried in pain and surprise, flailing and splashing about frantically…except for the leader, who managed to regain enough sense to paddle towards the edge of the pond, glaring hatefully at Sasha as he approached. "What was that supposed to do? We're _ice_ wolves, bitch! Cold water doesn't bother us!"

"Oh, I know that," Sasha said. "Tell me, have you ever heard of a Technical Machine?"

The wolf blinked in confusion. "A what now?"

"It's a device that can be used to teach a Pokémon like myself moves they would otherwise be incapable of learning," Sasha said. "As a creature of the wilds like yourself, I'm normally averse to relying on such odd technology…but my friends convinced me it would be worth using one, and I have to admit they may have had a point."

The wolf froze, getting a bad feeling. "And…what move did you learn from it?"

"Oh, just a little number called…Thunderbolt," Sasha said as static (and embers) started crackling around her.

The wolf's eyes widened in horror. "Oh, shit! EVERYONE, GET OUT OF-"

He was cut off when Sasha unleashed her attack, electrifying the drenched wolves and killing them instantly. Sasha smirked. "There's a reason we Absol are called 'bringers of disaster,'" she commented to the sizzling corpses as they sank to the bottom of the pond. Then she calmly took a few steps to the side and extended one of her legs, tripping the troll that had been rushing at her from behind and causing him to fall into the still-electrified pond, the beast thrashing in agony as he died a very painful death.

_Not bad,_ Darkrai commented, impressed.

_Thank you, my lord,_ Sasha replied.

_And you haven't even needed to use the special feature of that getup you're wearing,_ the dark god said.

Sasha frowned in puzzlement. _Special feature?_

_Let one of those bozoes touch you. Trust me, it'll be worth it,_ Darkrai said.

Somewhat puzzled but trusting in her master, even if she didn't really get his sense of humor, Sasha shrugged and followed her danger sense towards the nearest enemy, which happened to be a troll picking its nose with its axe. "Excuse me," she said. "Could you please touch me?"

"Huh? Warm-blood! DIE!" the troll roared, raising its axe…and ripping out half of its nose in the process. It screamed in agony and clutched its face as blood gushed the enormous gaping hole it had torn out.

Sasha sweatdropped. _Not particularly bright, are they?_

_Pah, Shivhel's never been one to surround herself with bright minions, she likes feeling superior to everyone around her,_ Darkrai snorted. _Just go up and brush against him with your robe. It'll be entertaining, I promise._

_Very well._ Sasha walked up to the troll as it tried to staunch the bleeding and rubbed her side against the beast's ankle. The blackness of her robe _seethed_ and suddenly rushed out to engulf the troll's skin. The troll had only an instant to cry in alarm before the darkness consumed him completely. He stood there for a moment, a solid black statue, before the blackness flowed back off and into Sasha's robe…leaving absolutely nothing behind.

_What was that?_ Sasha asked in disbelief.

_You're my high priestess, wearing your robes of office. That entitles you to a manner of protection,_ Darkrai chuckled. _You see, those garments you're wearing are enchanted to kill any person of hostile intent that touches you. Kind of fitting, since you're an envoy of the god of death, right?_

_It does at that,_ Sasha admitted, amazed.

_Also, so long as you're wearing those, you literally can't die. The robes will absorb any projectiles or beam attacks that get flung at you, protect you from asphyxiation, allow you to eat anything without worrying about getting poisoned, and survive in pretty much any environment, even on the surface of a planet that has acid for atmosphere instead of air,_ Darkrai informed her. _Heck, you might even be able to keep from aging so long as you wear those! I'm not positive, because few of the previous wearers have managed to live to an old age. A regrettable but common hazard of serving the god of death._

_Incredible!_ Said an awed Sasha. _But…then wait, how did Barbedo kill my predecessor and get these robes?_

_Well, uh…she had to take them off to go to bed sooner or later,_ Darkrai said Mareepishly.

_Ah, _Sasha said flatly. _But that aside…you're saying I'm essentially immortal so long as I wear this outfit?_

_Yep,_ Darkrai said. _Unless there's anything I forgot when I originally created those, which I doubt, I was pretty thorough._

Sasha frowned. _I'm not sure I like that._

_Why? Don't you want to live forever? _Darkrai asked.

_Not particularly, no. Death is an inevitable part of life. You should know that better than anyone,_ Sasha said. _Isn't that why you couldn't grant Leo eternal life?_

_That's part of it, yes,_ Darkrai admitted. _But while death is inevitable, it's not always going to be. I'm probably not supposed to tell you this, but since you're my high priestess and all I guess I can let you in on a little secret: someday, _everyone_ is going to be immortal, and there will no longer be any need for death._

Sasha frowned in alarm. _No need for death?_

_Yeah, it's all part of Arceus' ginormous master plan that most of us aren't really privy to for some annoying reason,_ Darkrai said.

_But if there is no longer any death, then what will happen to you?_ Sasha protested.

_Oh, I'll be fine. I said there was no more need for _death,_ not nightmares or darkness or all the other things I'm a deity of,_ Darkrai said. _That's why I have so many extra titles. I'm building a safety net, so that when the big change happens I won't be out of a job. In this economy, being a god without another position to fall back on is not easy to recover from. I know some guys who lost their followers millennia ago and are _still_ struggling to find a new pantheon willing to accept them._

_Ah. Right. Er…back to this 'no more death' thing. Is that going to happen anytime soon?_ Sasha asked in concern.

_No clue. Probably not in your lifetime,_ Darkrai said.

_Then it's nothing I need to concern myself with,_ Sasha decided. _And as for the gift of this costume…while I appreciate its usefulness, I do not believe I will wear it that often. I am all too aware of the constant closeness of death, and as such am uncomfortable with possessing the ability to completely avoid it._

_I'd think that would make you want the opposite, but whatever. Suit yourself. I just hope you don't find yourself without it in the moment you need it most,_ Darkrai said. _You, ah, might want to neglect telling Leo about this. He might do something stupid if he knew the full power of what you're wearing._

_He can't use it, can he? He's not in your service,_ Sasha said.

_No, but that wouldn't stop him from converting just to give it a shot,_ Darkrai said.

_Duly noted,_ Sasha said.

_Good girl. Now go out there and kill some more ice monsters! That'll show Shivhel not to stick her nose out of her dimension…_ Darkrai said.

_Do you have a quarrel with her?_ Sasha asked as she trotted off in search of a fight, aware that her master did not always get along well with other deities or supernatural entities.

_Yeah, aside from being an all-around asshole, the bitch called Cresselia a slut and a worthless waste of moonlight on multiple occasions. And she cheats at cards…_ Darkrai growled. Sasha sweatdropped and wisely said nothing.

A small group of trolls and wolves tromped cautiously into the alley, eyes glancing back and forth for any sign of their prey. The wolves had their noses pressed to the ground, sniffing and examining the tracks pressed into the snow carefully. "Well?" one of the trolls barked. "Where is he?"

"I don't know…he's here somewhere," a wolf growled. "I can smell him…"

"Which is the problem," another wolf said. "His scent is all over the place. And his tracks are scattered everywhere without rhyme or reason…they don't lead anywhere!"

"Well, he must have gone somewhere!" one of the trolls snapped. "He can't have vanished into thin air!"

"Can't he, though?" a troll asked thoughtfully. "We were told that a lot of the warm-bloods we'd be fighting were wizards. And he sort of looked like a wizard, what with that long robe of his."

"If he were a wizard, why would he have run away?" the first troll asked.

They got their answer when abruptly Looker leaped down from atop the nearby building and thrust an extendable pole into the back of one of the troll's necks with a thunderous crack, causing the troll to gasp and fall forward as his vertebrae broke. As the ice monsters stared in disbelief, the Croagunk took advantage of their surprise to rush forward and deliver a series of powerful flaming Poison Jabs and pole strikes to the chest and knees of one of the trolls, backflipping out of the way when the monster snarled and swiped its club at him. "Ha! What was that supposed to-" the troll started, before its eyes rolled back in its head and it fell face-forward to the ground.

"Ah, good to see my guess as to where your pressure points were was accurate," Looker said as he twirled his pole. "It took a little time to figure out, since your anatomy is almost completely different from ours due to being creatures born from another plane of existence, but if there's one thing I'm good at it's figuring things out by looking at them."

"GET HIM!" a troll shouted, and they converged on Looker.

The Croagunk drove his pole into the ground, kicked off, and spun around its axis, knocking away the first wolves to leap at him with a whirling kick. He used the momentum from his spin to wrench the pole out of the ground, land back on the snow, and bring his weapon down on the head of a wolf hard enough to crack its skull. A furious troll lunged at him, and Looker drove his pole into the ground again and used it to vault over the monster's massive frame, driving a glowing fist into the back of its neck with a fiery Poison Jab and knocking him down for the count. Another troll stepped into his flight path, arms wide to intercept him, but Looker thrust his pole ahead of him. The troll reflexively grabbed it, and Looker flipped up and onto the staff, running down its length, leaping off, and thrusting a flaming Poison Jab right between the troll's eyes. As it toppled, he retrieved his pole and swung it backwards, deflecting the wolf that had been charging at him from behind and causing the wolves just behind it to trip over it. Before they could recover, he used his pole to vault over them, spewing burning Poison Stings down at them, the flaming needles penetrating their thick fur and injecting toxins into their bloodstreams that (literally) burned them up from within. They struggled to their feet, their movements sluggish due to the fiery poison. "Ugh…what…kind of wizard are you?" one of them grunted.

"I'm not a wizard," Looker said, his coat flaring out behind him. "I'm a detective." He twirled his staff between his hands before holding it imposingly. "You are all under arrest for illegally invading this reality and conspiring to kill many of its inhabitants. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you. Do you understand these rights as they have been read to you?"

The monsters exchanged confused looks. "No," a troll said.

Looker shrugged. "Oh well, guess I'll have to settle for beating you up, then. I'm pretty sure it goes against International Police procedure, but to be honest I don't think you're in my jurisdiction anyway."

"Die!" a troll shouted finally, deciding to fall back on the old standby rather than try and make sense of this strange 'detective.'

Looker grinned. "You first."

Not too far away…

A pair of burning lightning bolts plowed their way through the ranks of ice elementals arrayed against them, leaving shattered ice and embers and crackling static in their wake as they zigzagged through the horde, swords flashing through the air with thunderclaps and explosions following each successful blow inflicted against the enemy. They were, of course, Pikachu and Sparky, fighting side by side, their mystic blades crackling like shards of lightning with embers trailing them as they cut down fiend after fiend. "Is this all they can field against us?" Sparky asked as he swung his sword through the air, generating a tremendous electric and fire-charged Vacuum Cut that sliced at least fifty ice elementals in half as it flew through them, as well as devastating half a dozen blocks' worth of buildings that happened to be standing behind the monsters.

"After everything Cherry said, I was expecting a harder battle than this!"

"Yes, well, even if we have magical weapons they still outnumber us, so we shouldn't let ourselves be overconfident," Pikachu said, trying not to feel a twinge of envy for how much Sparky's powers seemed to be boosted by the armor he was wearing. Powering up his blade, he drove it into the ground, sending a charge through the earth that exploded beneath the bisected ice elementals Sparky had cut up, destroying them before they could pull themselves back together.

Sparky raised his sword in the air and fired a lightning bolt upwards. The clouds flashed, and a dozen dragon-shaped bolts of flaming lightning shot back down and slammed into the elementals, vaporizing dozens more of them. "Speaking of magical weapons…where did you get yours?"

"Oh, the usual way," Pikachu said vaguely, swiping his sword through the air several times and flinging fiery Vacuum Cuts in every direction, following those up with flaming Thunderbolts to pulverize the fragmented elementals before they could recover.

"Don't give me that," Sparky said as he thrust his sword into the ribs of an elemental, releasing a blast of electricity and flame that not only vaporized it, but leaped out to strike the closest half-dozen elementals, vaporizing them, and causing bolts to leap out from them to vaporize the next closest group of elementals, and bolts leapt out from_ them_, and so on. "I know that sword. I've seen it in books and stories. That's Thunder Fang, the legendary sword of the Thunderblade family. And last time I checked, none of them had anything like the estate you claim to have lost, relatives in Fichina, or even servants of any kind. That's not how their code of honor works. So either you stole that sword, which is impossible, or…you aren't who you say you are."

"…" Pikachu ground his teeth, then Quick Attacked an ice elemental in the chest, flipped off, sliced it in half, spun in a circle with his sword and Iron Tail extended to knock back the elementals closing in on him, and released a blast of Thunder for good measure to give himself some breathing room. "You're right. I _am_ a Thunderblade, Pikachu Thunderblade, to be precise."

"Which means you have yet to earn your name, according to your family's custom, if my study of swordscraft is anything to go by," Sparky noted as he drove his sword into the ground, causing several fissures to split open all around him, lighting bolts and fireballs leaping out and frying the nearest elementals. "But then why are you traveling in disguise? Why the secrecy? Is this part of the rite of passage to earn your name?"

"Not quite," Pikachu said as he fired a Thunderbolt into the air, raised his sword, caught the bolt on his blade as it came back down, and slammed it into the ground, triggering a powerful explosion that vaporized two dozen elementals. "I'm not the only one in disguise, you see. My friends and I are enemies of the Nihilators and were traveling to Fichina in hopes of retrieving an artifact Duchess Fichina possesses that is key to their plans of destroying the world."

"Much like my team seeks to do the same thing, except to thwart Judgment? What an amazing coincidence," Sparky marveled as he raised his sword and a freaking _Rapidash made of lightning _(that was on fire!) galloped down from the heavens. The knight hopped onto it and rode the beast through the elementals, scything through them with ease.

Pikachu's jaw dropped for a moment in disbelief, and he nearly got run through by an ice spear as a result. He deflected the weapon, shattered the elemental with his sword, and ran after Sparky with Quick Attack, knocking over or breaking every monster in his path. "Um, yeah, pretty much. We traveled in disguise because we knew the Nihilators were going to target the train to keep the vampires from spilling their secrets and we didn't want them to know Fantina had one of the artifacts they're looking for and try even _harder_ to kill us all. However, I don't think that's going to work for much longer."

"I see," Sparky said as his steed sprouted wings and took to the air, raining lightning bolts and fireballs on the monsters. "It would seem that our causes are not too dissimilar. The DeLux honor compels me to assist you. Should the Nihilators bring even stronger forces than this to bear against us before we reach Fichina, my sword will be at your service!"

_Oh, come on!_ Pikachu thought in exasperation. He jumped onto an elemental's head and bounced off it using his tail as a springboard, launching himself into the air and grabbing onto the tail of an ice dragon flying past towards Sparky. Pikachu pulled himself up and ran up the beast's back, digging his sword into its flesh and dragging it with him, spilling its vital fluids all over the place. He reached the beast's head and jumped off, firing a Thunderbolt back to down the dragon for good measure. "My friends and I will be glad to have you by our side, Sparky. And speaking of swords…you aren't the only one learned enough to recognize a famous blade. That weapon of yours is the Durendal, isn't it?"

"Indeed it is," Sparky said as his Rapidash turned into a flaming lightning dragon and started spitting fiery thunderbolts that exploded and spawned winding electric and fire snakes that slithered through the elementals, destroying any they touched. "If you can identify it by sight, you must know its heritage as well. It first belonged to the paladin Count Roland, servant and nephew of Shirlemagne Queen of the Franks, who was mortally wounded by the Sarasens in an ambush but managed to slay them in a great battle that created the La Bréche da Roland in the Pireknees. He tried to destroy it to make sure the Sarasens couldn't get it after he died, but the sword was indestructible, so instead he gave it to his loyal Pikachu to safeguard. That Pikachu was the first knight and founder of the DeLux line, and we have wielded this blade against injustice ever since."

Pikachu's arc took him right towards an ice dragon, which turned as he approached, shrieked, and spat an ice blast at him. He retaliated with a Thunderbolt, the elemental blasts colliding and exploding, throwing up a cloud of smoke that momentarily blinded it. Coughing, the dragon flapped its wings to blow away the smog…and an electrically charged Pikachu soared out of the cloud sword-first, piercing the dragon through the chest and ripping out the other side. As the dragon plummeted, he landed on the back of another dragon, hacking off one of its wings with a chop from his blade and running up the length of its remaining wing as it fell, jumping off to continue his ascent. "Is it true that the hilt contains the tooth, blood, hair, and raiment of saints?" he asked.

"I wouldn't know, we've never looked," Sparky said as an ice dragon swooped down from above, got its claws on his shoulders, and got hit by a high-voltage current so strong it disintegrated. "It's certainly holy, though, much like your own…though I wonder which of ours is the most holy?"

"Right now, I'd say yours is," Pikachu said a little reluctantly as he sprang from dragon to dragon, lopping off heads and wings in his wake. "Thanks to the power of the Zap Plate. How'd you get that one, anyway?"

"It was being kept in a giant dead tree that served as a lightningrod and home for all the Pokémon in a great plain where the weather is eternally thundering and raining lightning bolts on travelers and the unwary, tended to by-" Sparky started as his dragon's wings extended until they seemed to cover the entire field of battle, lightning bolts and fireballs shooting down to strike all the monsters underneath their reach.

"A tribe of caretakers led by a hereditary 'protector' with a mystical connection to the tree, whom you befriended and recruited to help liberate the tree from Judgment, only for it to be destroyed, forcing you to part ways so your new ally could find a new future for his people?" Pikachu guessed as he landed on the back of Sparky's steed.

Sparky gave him an astonished look. "However did you know that?"

"That's pretty much exactly the same thing that happened to us," Pikachu said flatly.

Sparky goggled. "That's…unbelievable."

"Tell me about it," Pikachu said with a sigh. "You ever feel like you're possibly the only sane individual in a team of, well, nutjobs, on an adventure that rarely if ever makes any sense and often defies all rationality, instead conforming to the sort of logic you'd find in a video game or television show?"

"All the time," Sparky said mournfully.

"Then I think you and I are going to be very good friends," Pikachu said.

Sparky smiled. "I think I'd like that. And speaking of friends…who else among our fellow travelers counts themselves as your companions? I assume Kutabe and Mineko are in on it—if those are their real names, that is—but is there anyone else?"

"Think of anyone and everyone on the train who has personalities and mannerisms matching your friends, and that's us," Pikachu said.

Sparky's eyes bulged in disbelief. "…That many?"

"Yep," Pikachu said.

"And all of them are-" Sparky said.

"Yep," Pikachu said.

"…This is so bizarre. I'm sure Zippo would say we'd wandered into a…what do you call it…'mirror universe' or something," Sparky said.

"And that's exactly what Leo would say about you guys," Pikachu said. "By which I mean Mother Leonora, who, by the way, isn't really a womon."

"I _thought_ there was something odd about her, I mean him," Sparky murmured. "But isn't impersonating a priestess a serious offense?"

"He isn't impersonating a priestess, he actually is one," Pikachu said.

Sparky's mind struggled not to break as it attempted to process this incongruous statement. "But…but he's a…_he…_how…how did he…"

"It's something I'd rather not think about," Pikachu said wearily.

"And here I thought Zippo being a tenth level cleric of Manaphy was odd…" Sparky murmured incredulously.

Pikachu wisely decided not to mention that Manaphy had been a member of the Nihilators and recently been killed indirectly by them, so instead said, "But…Zippo's a _Fire_-type…"

"One who lives on the coast and surfs regularly," Sparky said. "Plus, one of his parents is a Water Pokémon."

"Ah. Still, compared to Leo, that's downright normal, trust me," Pikachu said.

Sparky grimaced. "Are you as terrified as I am by the thought that those two may actually make very good friends?"

"Yes," Pikachu said grimly.

And speaking of the two nerds…

"Graaaaahhh! The light! Make it stop! Make it stop!" a troll screamed as he staggered backwards, shielding his eyes.

"Just as soon as you turn to stone, Barnies!" Zippo said as he continued focusing his UV lamp on the trolls in front of them. "Which…should have happened quite some time ago, by my reckoning, since I'm pretty sure it's the high UV radiation in sunlight that causes trolls to undergo petrification during the daylight hours, since a similar wavelength can be used to make vampires burst into flame…"

"No, no, those are Tokien trolls, these are clearly Proto-Nordic trolls, who share no such weakness to sunlight," Leo said.

Zippo smacked his forehead. "Ohhh, of course, I can't believe I made such a gnarly mistake, dudette! I'm usually more on top than that. But there's just so many different kinds of trolls out there, I sometimes get them mixed up, you know?"

"Yeah, I hear ya, boyo. Now turn out that penlight and lemme show these heathens some _real_ light!" Leo said as he started powering up his Thermonuke 8500, which he'd heavily modified with Zippo's help by combining it with the Charmeleon's own Thermonuke then rigging the resulting contraption up to a harness which he was currently wearing over his habit with a power pack fueled by a spare alchemical energy core they'd 'borrowed' from the train to make it even more ridiculously powerful. Turning the dial on the side of the Thermonuke, now mounted on his chest, to 11, he did a pelvic thrust at the trolls, who were still blinking and trying to get the spots out of their eyes. "Beware, sinners, for the fiery judgment of Shaymin is about to fall upon you!"

"Wait, isn't Shaymin a goddess of flowers and Spring? Why would her judgment be fiery?" asked a confused troll.

"DON'T GO HATIN' ON MY RELIGION!" Leo shouted as the coils on the front of the Thermonuke turned a brilliant red and a tremendous heat wave blasted out from it to envelop the trolls. When the temperature dropped again, all the snow within several hundred meters had been evaporated and the trolls were now completely black. A gust of wind blew by, and the still figures disintegrated into ashes and were carried away.

"Radical, flaca! That was so gangbusters!" said an impressed and awestruck Zippo. "Hey, lemme have a try!"

"Not yet, I'm not done with it yet!" Leo said defensively, turning and firing again, vaporizing a pack of wolves desperately trying to run away. He fired again, reducing a troop of ice elementals marching towards them to water vapor, and again, annihilating a flight of ice dragons swooping through the air. "Ohhhh…the power…THE POWER…it's even more wonderful than I imagined! Ahaha! Ahahahaha! AHAHAHAHAHA!" Laughing madly, he fired again and again, turning every monster in sight into a pile of cinders and obliterating countless buildings and frozen trees and bodies on spikes in his frenzied rampage. This was like playing some of his favorite video games, only in real life! It was intoxicating! "Now nothing can stop meeeeeee!"

Zippo gasped in horror. "Oh no, the power has gone to her head and she's deluded herself into thinking she's some kind of god of destruction! No fair, I wanted to do it first!"

Leo's laughter was cut off when smoke started rising from his harness and the Thermonuke began shaking and glowing ominously, the coils going from red to white. "Huh? What's going on? Why won't it fire?" Leo asked in confusion as he repeatedly pressed the activation button.

"You fool! By using it so many times in rapid succession, it's overheated, and now it's going to go nuclear!" Zippo cried.

"Really? That's so cool!" Leo shouted.

"I know, right?" Zippo said giddily. "Too bad we're at ground zero!"

"Not for long we're not!" Leo declared, tearing off the harness and throwing it as far as he possibly could…which was about two feet away. "For some reason I thought I could throw further than that."

"Maybe we could stop it from blowing up if we cooled it fast enough?" Zippo suggested.

"Possibly, but where would we get something to cool it that quickly?" Leo wondered.

"…Dudette, aren't you a Water type? Couldn't you just soak it?" Zippo asked.

"No, water's not cool enough, but that _does_ give me an idea. Good thing I know Ice Beam! Huh, and I thought I wouldn't be using it in this weather!" Leo said.

"But wait, due to the enchantments cast on us to make us strong against all this ice, won't that mean your Ice Beam is part fire, creating a fusion beam that will only amplify the explosion?" Zippo asked.

Leo paused to consider thus. "…Not if I don't want it to it won't."

"Oh, okay then," Zippo said, accepting this completely nonsensical answer.

Leo took a deep breath and spat an (non-flaming) Ice Beam at the overheating Thermonuke. Due to the building temperatures of the machine, it didn't freeze over when the Beam struck it, but the extreme chill of the attack managed to cool the device's overloading systems, causing it to vent the excess heat in great clouds of steam as its temperature returned to more manageable levels.

"Phew! That was close," Zippo said. "Okay, now it's my turn!"

"Nah, the circuitry's melted, it's completely busted," Leo reported after looking the cooled-off device critically.

"What? Aw mon, that's so gnarmin! You totally ruined it!" Zippo accused.

"Oh, like you wouldn't have done the exact same thing, sonny?" Leo retorted as he stowed the machine in his shell. "Don't worry, I think we can fix it, but it's not going to be working anytime soon."

"Good, which means that now there's nothing to stop us from killing the two of you for incinerating our friends!" bellowed one of the many, _many_ trolls that had surrounded the duo along with a contingent of wolves, ice elementals, and even a few dragons that were pissed by how many of their number Leo's heat blasts had picked off.

"Whuh-oh, this could be a problem," Zippo said in alarm.

"Don't be ridiculous, sonny, they have us outnumbered at least fifty to one…which means we got this in the bag!" Leo said confidently.

"Well, duh, conservation of ninjutsu, I know," Zippo said. "But…do you have the moves to back up that sweet brain of yours?"

"Do I!" Leo said, whipping out his tonfas, which he'd stolen back from Pikachu when he wasn't looking.

"Whoa! Where'd you get those?" Zippo asked excitedly.

"I took them from the hoard of an evil undead pirate," Leo bragged.

"Nice! That's exactly where I got these from!" Zippo said, pulling out a pair of nunchuks.

Leo frowned. "Really?"

"Yeah! There was this long-dead pirate named Hernando who stole the Splash Plate ages ago, and we had to fight him to get it back," Zippo explained. "After we beat him, he made Salty his new captain and gave him his ship, to make up for the one we lost trying to get to his island. We were also allowed to take whatever we wanted from his loot, and I snagged these along with a ton of cash! Of course, Sparky confiscated them from me, but I managed to take them back when he wasn't looking."

"…Oh," Leo said, somewhat nonplussed. "Well, uh, do you know how to use them?"

"Of course!" Zippo lied. "Do you know how to use yours?"

"Definitely!" Leo lied right back.

"Awesome! Then let's get them!" Zippo hollered, swinging a nunchuk over his head.

"Oh yeah!" Leo whooped, flailing his tonfas wildly. "Let's kick some ass!"

"Yeah! You know, Mother Leonora, if it weren't for the fact that I'm together with Rose, you're gay, and _way_ too old for me, I'd think you were my soulmate," Zippo confessed.

"…Um, thanks," Leo said, uncertain whether to be flattered or deeply disturbed. "I, uh, like you a lot too." He frowned. "And hey, who are you calling old?"

"Well, they don't usually make young dudettes Mothers, if you know what I mean," Zippo said. Leo's eye twitched. "Anyway, enough jibber-jabber! Let's bust some heads!"

"Raaaaahhhh!" Leo shouted.

"Yaaaaaahhh!" Zippo echoed.

"Graaaaaghhh!" they both yelled as they charged towards the very confused enemies.

Naturally, they got the crap kicked out of them. Fortunately, Captain Salty happened to be nearby and was nice enough to save them by washing the monsters away in a tremendous flood. After depositing the shivering nerds on a rooftop and helping them warn up, he told them not to get themselves into a mess that bad again and flew off to go drown some more monsters.

As he departed, Leo and Zippo stared off into the distance, too embarrassed to look at each other. Finally, Leo said, "If anyone asks what happened, I'm going to lie."

"Yeah, me too," Zippo said. "So. You and Sister Lilandra. She, uh, any good?"

"Oh, er, yes. Not that it's any of your business, of course!" Leo lied.

"Of course," Zippo said quickly.

"And, uh, how about you and Rose?" Leo asked cautiously.

"Huh? Um, ah, yeah, yeah, it's really great. Not that it's any of your business, of course!" Zippo said. Naturally, he was also lying.

"Of course," Leo said.

There was an awkward silence. "So…" Zippo said.

"Um…" Leo said.

"What's it like?" they both asked at once. They looked at each other, burst into laughter, and launched into detailed and vivid descriptions of their completely imaginary sex lives.

Elsewhere, another bunch of trolls and wolves completely unrelated to the ones that had been hunting for Looker were searching for another prey that had slipped their grasp. Unlike the aforementioned group, they'd decided to bring some ice elementals for backup. "So? Any luck?" a troll grunted to the wolf in the lead, its nose to the ground.

The wolf shook its head in confusion. "Nothing. I can't pick up a scent or find any hint of tracks. This makes no sense…"

"What about you? Got anything?" the troll asked an ice elemental, who was prowling on the rooftops. It shook its head. "Well, dammit, either she can vanish into thin air or we're going the wrong way. Which is it?"

Abruptly, a small round object rolled out of a doorway, across the snow, and stopped at the troll's feet. He looked at it in puzzlement. That puzzlement turned into alarm when it exploded, enveloping the group in a cloud of smoke. The troll gasped and coughed, as did everyone else, staggering about and trying to wave his arms to get rid of the smog, only to bash some of his colleagues in the head and accidentally step on a wolf or two. Naturally, his colleagues hit back, and he retaliated with an even harder blow, and in moments they were all trying to beat the crap out of each other, their quarry forgotten. Up on the roofs, out of range of the smoke, the ice elementals exchanged exasperated looks and shook their featureless heads before concentrating their power and generating a frigid breeze which blew away the smoke and revealed the battered and bloody monsters, which froze in mid-battle when they saw each other. They exchanged embarrassed and Mareepish looks and decided to pretend this had never happened…

And then they noticed that half a dozen of them were lying dead on the ground. "Uh-oh," a wolf said. "I, uh, think we got carried away."

"None of us did this," a troll said in alarm as he bent down to check one of the corpses. "Look at this!" He plucked a small dart out of the neck of one of the bodies.

"…That smoke bomb! It was a distraction to pick some of us off!" a wolf snarled.

"And it came from in here!" another wolf barked at the doorway the bomb had rolled out of. "Let's get that bitch!"

"Yeah!" some other wolves and a few trolls shouted, charging through the doorway, smashing the surrounding walls in the process.

"Wait, it's probably a-" one of the smarter (not that that was saying much) trolls said just before the building exploded, knocking the monsters in the street back and causing some of the nearby buildings to collapse. "Trap," he said in a daze as little frost dragons flew around his head.

The startled ice elementals exchanged more exasperated looks. Corporeal beings were so stupid. As they thought this, abruptly an arrow flew through the air and buried itself in one of the elemental's chests. The evil spirit looked down in surprise just before the arrow exploded, destroying it.

"Sniper!" a wolf screamed, ducking for cover as more arrows, some exploding, some flaming, some seemingly normal but actually poisoned, started raining down on them from all over the place. The monsters panicked and milled about frantically, bumping into each other and only making themselves easier targets for the deadly quarrels. The ice elementals managed to retain their cool (heh), however, quickly targeted the roofs the arrows were being fired from, and flung ice spears. One by one, the volleys were silenced. As the elementals raced over to see if they could find any bodies, the frightened monsters took stock of the situation.

"We've lost almost half our original numbers," an anxious wolf said as he stared at all the corpses littering the ground.

"Surtrit's balls, who's doing this?" a troll growled angrily. "It can't just be that one bitch, there's no way she could pull it off by herself!" He was wrong, of course.

Hopping from rooftop to rooftop, an ice elemental quickly reached the spot where the arrows had been coming from. Much to its puzzlement, all it found was a rapid-fire crossbow with an ice spear through it propped up against the edge of the roof, a wire running from the trigger down the side of the building and vanishing into the snow. The elemental was about to try and follow the wire to its source…until he noticed a small gray sphere sitting near the stock of the crossbow, and realized it was screwed.

The explosions that engulfed the four or five buildings that the elementals had gone to check out caused the monsters in the street to jump in alarm and get even more frightened. "Screw this, I'm out of here!" a wolf finally shouted, losing its nerve and running back the way it had come. Several of its pack of like mind eagerly ran after it.

"What? No! Come back here, you cowards! We can't let her get the best of us!" a troll shouted furiously.

As it turned out, he was right to tell them to come back, but not for the reasons he thought. As he ran, the lead wolf stumbled on a wire concealed in the snow that he was pretty sure had not been there before. There was a clicking sound, followed by a whir as a couple dozen blades shot out from the nearby alley and buried themselves in the flesh of the wolves. They gasped in pain, staggered, and dropped dead as the lethal toxins surged through their bloodstreams.

"No!" one of the few remaining wolves gasped.

"Dammit!" a troll snarled. "I've had enough of this!" Roaring, he started swinging his axe all over the place, smashing and demolishing every building within reach. "Enough of this game of Meowth-and-Rattata! Show yourself!"

"All right, if you insist," Lu, who had changed into a hooded white suit to blend in with the environment, said as she jumped off the pile of snow she'd been sitting on in plain sight of all of the monsters, landed on the troll's shoulder, and thrust a paw at its ear, driving the poisoned blade mounted on her wrist into his brain. As the lights went out in the troll's eyes and it toppled over, she leaped off the beast's shoulder and high into the air, spinning about and flinging poisoned throwing knives in every direction. The monsters scrambled to avoid the blades, but quite a few found their mark, downing a couple of trolls and most of the remaining wolves. As the startled beasts struggled to get their act back together, she landed on the ground and escaped from view as she used Dig to bury underground. The enraged wolves, seeking to avenge their fallen pack brothers, barked and tried to enlarge the hole she'd vanished down, but the soft snow had already caused the tunnel to collapse, denying them the chance to pursue her. She burst out of the snow a few feet away and spun about as she emerged back into the air, flinging smoke bombs all over the place that detonated and covered the street in a thick cloud of smog. As the monsters coughed and screamed and frantically flailed about trying to find the Eevee, the remaining ice elementals on the rooftops indiscriminately threw spears into the cloud, not particularly caring if they killed a few corporeals so long as they hit Lu. Unfortunately, when the smoke cleared and revealed nothing but a pile of dead trolls and wolves, some expired from poisoned darts and blades, others from getting run through by ice spears, the elementals knew they'd missed their target, as was made abundantly clear when Lu reappeared behind one and smashed into it with a flaming Tackle, knocking it off the roof and causing it to shatter into a million pieces on the ground below. Its partner angrily turned and thrust its spear at her, but she backflipped and spat a flaming Shadow Ball, destroying it in a small explosion. The remaining elementals hurled their spears at her to avenge their comrades, but Lu threw down a smoke bomb and vanished, the spears imbedding themselves in the roof with none managing to strike her. As the smoke cleared, the elementals formed new spears and looked around, trying to spot the assassin.

They were looking in the wrong place. Without warning, the buildings they were standing on collapsed due to Lu burrowing through their foundations with Dig, carrying the alarmed ice elementals with them and crushing them beneath tons of brick and stone and snow. Flurries of snow and dust were flung up by the great crash, before finally settling back down and leaving the area still and silent, evidence of the bloodshed already beginning to fade away as fresh snow fell to cover the bodies.

Lu burst out of the ground and shook her hood to throw off the snow all over her body. "Well, that went rather well," she commented as she surveyed her handiwork. "Now to rejoin the others and-"

Without warning, four massive ice dragons dropped from the sky and landed heavily on all sides of her, spreading their wings to block all escape and roaring furiously, showering her with saliva and very cold breath. Lu shivered and sweatdropped, realizing she was in serious trouble. "Aw, crap." She frantically reached for a smoke bomb, but didn't get a chance to use it as the dragons opened their mouths and bombarded her with a quadruple blast of ice breath, pouring as much subzero power into the attack as they could to freeze the Eevee assassin solid.

And normally, that would have been the end of it. Just about any other Pokémon, even some weaker Fire types, would have been killed by such an attack, even with the protective spells that had been cast on Lu before the battle. However, Lu was an Eevee, and as everyone knows, Eevees are…_different_ from other Pokémon. Their genetic makeup is irregular, allowing them to evolve into a variety of different forms based on the environment. Usually they required the use of Stones, rocks imbued with a concentrated form of elemental energy, but there were some rare occasions where, when in extreme danger an Eevee could evolve without one so long as they were exposed to a _very_ high dosage of elemental power…power such as that found in the ice breath the dragons were using on her. And normally not even that would be enough, but thanks to Bellum's Fimbulvinter spell, the entire landscape was bathed in ice magic, turning it into the sort of environment where evolution-inducing Ice Rocks and Frozen Rocks formed in other regions and making a plethora of elemental energy available to anyone capable of tapping into it. And at that moment, with her body racing to find some way, any way at all to save itself from death, Lu counted as such a person.

The ice energy permeated her unstable DNA, causing a marvelous transformation to take place. In a brilliant flash of light and a flurry of snow, Lu evolved into a Glaceon. The dragons paused to catch their breath and were astonished to see that their prey had not only survived, but changed, gaining light blue fur made of frozen quills, rhombus-shaped spots, and hair resembling a Sherpa cap. Lu stared down at herself, equally amazed. "Well," she said after a moment. "This was unexpected." She scowled. "And I'd always planned on evolving into an Umbreon, too…" The ice dragons recovered their equilibrium, snapping her out of her reverie. "Hmm? Oh, right, you guys. All right, if it's a fight you want, then it's a fight you'll get." She crouched, gathering her newfound power. A sinister grin formed on her face. "Let's see just what I'm capable of…" A dragon lunged at her, and she bounded forwards to meet it, eager to see how her assassination skills had been augmented by her evolution.

Somewhere else…

Vladimir, Dean, and Bob stood in the middle of a street surrounded on all sides by dozens of wolves, trolls, and ice elementals, with more elementals and a few dragons standing on the nearby rooftops. "Huh," Dean murmured. "Sure are a lot of them…"

"I find it flattering, actually, it means Bellum must consider us a threat," Vladimir said. "Let's show her she's right to think that way, shall we?"

A troll laughed. "There aren't so many of us here because Bellum thinks you're a threat, we're here because she wants to make absolutely sure you die!"

Vladimir raised an eyebrow. "Oh really? And how do you intend to do that? We vampires are notoriously difficult to kill, after all."

"We've been well-prepared to fight the likes of you," a wolf bragged, opening its jaws wide to show off its glittering teeth. Vladimir and Dean frowned when they noticed the teeth were made of silver, while Bob growled and opened his mouth wider to show he had a more impressive set of fangs.

"Silver has been infused into our claws, teeth, weaponry, and even our blood!" a troll bragged, raising a mace over his head and turning it to show off the silver spikes adorning its head. "So if even one of us manages to land a solid hit on you, or you try to drink our blood, you're done for!"

"Plus, we've been enchanted so your mind control tricks won't work on us!" another troll boasted. "Our strength and reflexes have also been boosted to be more of a match for your enhanced agility. In short, we're prepared for anything you can throw at us!"

"Hmm, you really have thought ahead, haven't you?" Vladimir said, impressed.

"I notice you didn't mention anything about solar power," Dean said.

"Ah, that's because they're creatures of the cold and dark," Vladimir said smugly. "They are not fond of sunlight. It doesn't harm them the way it does us, but it is still anathema to them all the same. After all, doesn't the Sun bring heat, and the end of winter?"

"Ohhh, I see," Dean said.

"We don't need sunlight to kill you!" a wolf said. "Everything we have is sufficient to eradicate you undead freaks from this world!"

"Ah, I'm afraid that's where you're wrong," Vladimir tutted, waving a fat finger. "You see, you aren't the only ones with a sorceress patron. Have you ever heard of an Amulet of Silver Repulsion?"

The Niflheim monsters exchanged puzzled looks. "Uh, no," a wolf admitted.

"That's because they were just invented this morning," Dean said as he pulled a glittering medallion hanging from his neck by a fine metal chain out from the collar of his shirt. "Riding on a train with some of the world's strongest magicians has its advantages."

"The Amulet of Silver Repulsion, as the name implies, repels silver," Vladimir explained as he pulled out his own medallion. "It's a refinement of your basic protection spell geared towards metal, specifically silver. If any weapon made of or harboring silver tries to strike us, it will rebound harmlessly from our bodies."

"Wh-what?" a troll cried in horror as the monsters gasped in alarm. "But…but _all_ our weapons have silver in them!"

"No, the ice elementals are still fine, they make their own weapons," a wolf said quickly. "And the dragons have their ice breath! Plus, if they try to drink our blood, I doubt their Amulet will protect them from _that_ silver!"

Dean shrugged. "We won't turn you, then. We'll just kill you."

"Indeed. Your threat of ice attacks doesn't really bother us…after all, what vampire is weak against ice?" Vladimir sneered.

The monsters slowly shuffled a few steps back, suddenly realizing they might have made a grave error in challenging these three. "W-we still outnumber you! You can't kill us all!" a troll said desperately.

Dean grinned. "Is that a challenge?"

Vladimir gave a low, long chuckle as darkness began to envelop his form, his cape flying out behind him. "The last few months of my life have been a living hell. I was abducted, imprisoned, tortured, experimented on, transformed against my will, experimented and tortured some more, and dragged to a convention to be displayed like some kind of zoological marvel before finally being granted my freedom…and now you wish to snatch that from me? I think not, my friends. After my first taste of liberty and power in ever so long, I do not intend to give it up easily. And after having my hands literally tied for these many months, now that I have the chance to finally strike back at my oppressors…I think I'm going to _enjoy_ it." A huge formless blob of darkness with glowing red eyes, he expanded, getting larger and larger as he slowly began to take on a new shape. The panicking trolls shouted for the ice elementals to fire, and the evil spirits and the dragons blasted the blob with spears and ice breath, turning it into a frozen pincushion…

Which shattered as the blob continued growing, shrugging off the attacks like the harmless pinpricks they were. The blob elongated, growing four legs, a tail, and a wedge-shaped head, becoming distinctly lupine in figure, a two-meter tall Houndoom that looked as if it had emerged from the deepest pits of the Abyss (more so than regular Houndooms, anyway) with a skull-shaped helmet covering its head, four flaming (literally!) red eyes, curved horns that pointed forwards rather than back, three barbed tails, spikes growing from the bands around its ankles as well as from its knees, shoulders, hips, and sides, and a black mass draped over its back that at first looked like a cape but then split to reveal a pair of demonic wings. Metal 'boots' with very long nails and scythe-shaped blades extending over the claws from the knuckles were placed on each of its paws. The Amulet of Metal Repulsion remained hanging from its neck, but the chain had been transfigured into a bony collar-shaped spiked mass while the medallion itself was now a metallic skull. As the monsters stared in disbelief, the Houndoom opened its gaping jaws and emitted a hair-raising howl that left all of them shivering in fear and losing control of their bowels. Not one to be left out, Bob howled too, but it wasn't quite as impressive or spine-chilling. "Showoff," Dean said, unimpressed.

Moving with astonishing speed for something that massive, the transformed Vladimir bounded forwards, leaving flaming footprints in his wake as he smashed into the monsters, sending them flying as he tore into them, releasing the pent-up frustration from his captivity and torture as well as his natural vampiric aggression in a gut-wrenching display of senseless brutality and violence. Bob ran after him to help pick off the stragglers and kill anyone who tried to escape. Dean sighed longingly as he looked at all the blood being splattered all over the place, knowing it probably wasn't safe to drink, and instead turned to the ice dragons and elementals, who were staring at the carnage in horrified fascination. "Well, guess that leaves me with you lot," he said, grinning and showing his fangs. "And if you thought what he did was impressive…" He laughed as tendrils of darkness extended from his sides and solidified into glittering pitch-black chitinous claws, while Crobat wings grew from his back. "Then wait until you see what _I_ can do!" he cackled as he spread his wings and flew towards them.

Further away…

Bruno sat in the middle of the street, his legs crossed, his arms folded before him, his eyes closed in concentration, humming softly under his breath. A large assortment of trolls, wolves, and ice elementals stood some distance away, staring at him warily. "Why's he just sitting there?" a wolf whispered.

"Dunno. Maybe he's sleeping?" another wolf whispered back.

"I don't think so…something tells me this guy's well aware of everything around him," a troll murmured.

"What makes you say that?" another troll asked.

"I dunno, He seems so…focused, I guess," the first troll replied.

"Why are we whispering?" a wolf whispered.

"…Because. Shut up!" another wolf said, unwilling to admit that something about the Machamp intimidated him.

"_You_ shut up!" the wolf snarled back.

"Will somebody go over and attack the guy already?" a troll asked, losing his patience.

"But he's just sitting there, so…still, and calm, and collected," a wolf said.

"Exactly! A sitting Psyduck!" the troll said.

"How do you know _we_ aren't the Psyducks?" the wolf muttered darkly.

"Just for that, you get to attack first," the troll said.

"What! Why don't you attack first?" the wolf protested.

"Because I said so. Now get!" the troll said, shoving the wolf forward.

Glaring back over his shoulder and grumbling under his breath about stupid thickheaded trolls, the wolf cautiously approached Bruno, wondering as he did so why he felt so apprehensive. It was just one guy, and he was sitting there. Sure, he was pretty buff and had four arms, and some pretty sweet tats, but other than that he didn't seem all that special. So why did the thought of attacking him fill him with dread?

"It doesn't have to be this way," Bruno said, startling the wolf so badly he yelped and jumped a few feet in the air, surprising himself at how high-strung he was.

"Doesn't have to be what way?" the wolf stammered as he tried to make his fur lie flat and his heart stop racing a mile a minute.

"There doesn't need to be conflict between us. This world is too warm for you. You do not belong here. If you choose to depart now, I will not stop you, and there does not need to be any bloodshed. When Niflheim's grip on Dusty Ditch is loosened, you can go back to your home plane safely. If not…" Bruno drew out the hesitation for a long moment. "Then I am going to have to do something that both of us will regret, you more than I."

The wolf bristled, this slight riling him up and making him forget his earlier trepidation. "What? You want us to _leave?_"

"That's right," Bruno said.

The wolf and the other monsters burst into laughter. "You craven coward! We are proud warriors of Niflheim, battling to the death for the glory of Queen Shivhel!" the wolf sneered. "We do not run from a fight, especially from a weakling who's so afraid of us that he resorts to _negotiation_ to try and spare his pathetic life!"

"I'm not afraid of you," Bruno said.

The wolf paused. "Huh? You're not?"

"Not in the slightest. I have seen many things in this world, and a few other places too, and you are not one of the ones that frightens me," Bruno said.

The wolf snarled angrily. "Oh, a tough guy, huh? Think you can take us all on?"

"That's right. I can," Bruno said.

The wolf hesitated at this. The confidence in Bruno's voice was…rather disturbing. It was a self-awareness so absolute that it couldn't be called hubris, an honest belief in his own strength without pride or vanity. It was…somewhat disconcerting. But he couldn't show weakness, not in front of the pack and the other monsters. He'd never live it down. (Literally, they'd kill him.) "All right tough guy, if you think you're so strong, then show us what you're made of?"

Bruno frowned. "Are you certain that's what you want?"

"Yes!" the wolf snarled.

"_Absolutely_ certain?" Bruno asked.

"_Yes!"_ the wolf shouted.

"Because there's still time for you to-" Bruno started.

"Just open your eyes and fucking fight me already!" the wolf roared, his impatience and anger overwhelming his worry and common sense. The other monsters cheered and rooted him on, shouting at the Machamp to get up and fight.

Bruno sighed wearily. "Very well. If you insist. But know this: you brought this on yourself." He stood up abruptly, and the wolf was somewhat startled to find that, despite them being almost the same height, somehow the Machamp seemed to tower over him. Clasping his upper two hands before him, he reached down with his lower arms and undid the clasp on the fancy belt he wore around his waist. With a carefree flick of a hand, the belt was discarded, landing in the snow with a surprisingly strong impact that caused it to sink at least a foot or more beneath the surface. Bruno took a deep breath…

And his muscles bulged, swelling up to become even stronger, his total muscle mass doubling in half a second! As his hands and feet burst into flames, his eyelids flew open, revealing a pair of red irises set in the fiercest eyes the wolf had ever seen, and suddenly the tundra dweller realized he had made a terrible, terrible mistake. "Let it begin."

In a flash, Bruno grabbed the wolf by the scruff of his neck and hurled him away, the lupine howling piteously as he flew over the heads of his startled comrades, arced over the town, over the mountains, and vanished completely over the horizon. The astonished monsters turned their heads back from the spectacle in time to see Bruno dashing forwards _much_ faster than a Machamp should be capable of moving. He was in their midst within milliseconds, wolves and even a few trolls flying everywhere as he smashed through them like they weren't even there. He punched a troll in the gut so hard that the beast literally doubled over, its body actually _splitting in two_ from the force of the impact. A Low Kick sent a wolf that pounced at his leg through the side of not just one building, but _fifty,_ hurling it the full length of the town and out into the foothills, where it smashed into a mountain so hard it was imbedded five feet into the living rock. He grabbed the heads of four trolls, one in each hand, and bashed them all together so hard every bone in their body liquefied. He then started spinning like a whirling dervish, using the dead trolls as flails to batter and knock away everything in sight, flinging them away when he'd built up enough centrifugal force and causing them to plow through the enemy forces at an alarming rate, bowling over anyone who'd just managed to pick themselves back up again. As the trolls and wolfs lay on the ground, moaning in pain, the enraged ice elementals charged forwards, hurling their spears at Bruno en masse. His hands moving so fast they were gray blurs, Bruno caught each spear one by one in his four arms, leaving him holding a quadruple fistful of icicles which he shattered with a simple squeeze of his fingers. Rather than grow new spears, the elementals extended their claws, getting within grappling distance. Unfortunately, that only made things worse for them when Bruno started punching things at a rate of a thousand punches a second, and since he had four arms going at once, he was actually delivering _four_ thousand flaming blows a second. Within moments, the ice elementals were no more, and there was nothing but a very large steaming puddle in their place.

As Bruno paused to catch his breath, an ice dragon swooped down towards him, leading a group of ground troop reinforcements with more dragons speedily approaching in the distance. Bruno narrowed his eyes and stood his ground as the dragon dove at him, jaws opening wide. He caught the upper and bottom halves of the monster's mouth as it lunged at him, keeping it from biting down on him. The dragon, shocked that Bruno hadn't been budged in the slightest by its momentum, struggled to close its mouth, only to find the Machamp's grip as steady and implacable as stone. Enraged, its claws shot forwards at his chest, but Bruno caught them in his lower arms…and started to squeeze. Panicking now, the dragon exhaled, hitting Bruno with its strongest ice breath…

And doing absolutely no damage. Bruno smirked as the dragon's eyes widened in horror. "Sorry, but I've trained in colder temperatures. You'll have to try harder than that. Well, rhetorically speaking, since you're not going to get another chance." Before the dragon could even squeal in alarm, Bruno yanked its mouth wider open, splitting its jaws and killing it. Then he ripped off its lower jaw along with the beast's clawed limbs, flipping them around to use them as weapons. Realizing he still had one hand free, he shrugged and grabbed a fallen troll's axe, then brandished all four instruments, bellowing furiously as he ran towards the approaching monsters, who suddenly realized they might be picking on the wrong guy. They turned to run, but only made it that much easier for Bruno to strike at them, bashing bones and sending them flying with his stolen jaw, decapitating and dismembering with his axe, and rending and tearing with his stolen claws. Blood splattered all over the place, turning the white snow sticky and red as well as accentuating Bruno's anti-magic tattoos as it covered him from head to toe. Seeing the dragons were still coming, he paused in his slaughter to fling his axe at the lead dragon, his throw so powerful that the axe passed right through the wyrm, splitting it in two! Startled and frightened, the other dragons had second thoughts and turned to flee, but Bruno had no intention of letting them get away. Casually discarding his macabre weapons (each flying through the air with such speed and accuracy that they killed _three_ monsters before hitting the ground), Bruno crouched down and pushed off the ground with all the strength in his considerable muscles, leaving craters behind as he launched himself into the air. The traumatized and shellshocked monsters he left behind stared after him incredulously. "He can _fly?_" a wolf cried finally.

"Do you see any Grumpigs?" a troll asked, scanning the skies.

"No, why?" another troll asked.

"Funny, I always thought they would fly before a Machamp did," the first troll said.

Of course, Bruno wasn't flying, just jumping really good, not that the distinction mattered very much to the monsters he was beating the crap out of. It did matter to the dragons, who were understandably alarmed to find Bruno reaching their altitude. A couple peering backwards on their long necks tried to knock him out of the sky with ice blasts, but their breath harmlessly rolled off of his skin as he continued his approach. A dragon screeched in alarm as Bruno landed on its back, and screeched harder when he kicked off, the recoil from his legs so strong it sent the dragon slamming into the ground far below. Bruno crossed his four arms in front of him in a Cross Chop as he approached the next dragon, his trajectory taking him towards and right past it. For a moment it looked like nothing had happened, but then the dragon split in four pieces, its body parts falling away. He spread his arms wide again as he approached the next dragon, grabbing onto its back and using his momentum to flip it over and over, spinning through the air with Submission before flinging it into another dragon, sending both of them tumbling to their demise. The last dragon shrieked in terror and tried to fly away as Bruno approached it, but even though it managed to rise above the Machamp as he fell past it, he grabbed its tail as he went by, dragging it down with him. The dragon bellowed in fear and frantically tried to shake him off, shaking its tail chaotically while flapping its wings as hard as it could, but Bruno was completely undaunted. With a mighty cry, he pulled with all his might, using Seismic Toss to fling the dragon beneath him in a ball of fire and send it crashing to the ground so hard an entire block of buildings collapsed, sinking into the ground and creating a huge crater that swallowed up a large chunk of Dusty Ditch. Even more got consumed by it when Bruno landed in the epicenter, causing the crater to expand and devour more buildings and even a few monsters.

Brushing himself off, Bruno got to his feet and looked at his surroundings and the results of his handiwork in sadness. "Why do they never take the easy way out?" he lamented. He sighed when he noticed a number of monsters jumping into the crater and cautiously coming towards him to see what was going on, getting a strong feeling that more violence was going to be in the near future. "All right…" he murmured, flexing his muscles as his strength returned to its full potency. "Let's get this over with…" He walked towards the approaching monsters, knowing that only one person was going to leave this crater alive.

Above him…

"This is so cool!" Todd gushed in awe as he flew through the skies, taking pictures of the incredible fighting and tremendous property damage taking place in the town below. It was a good thing there was nobody left to complain about the rampant destruction, or someone would be paying off some serious fines by the time this mess was over. Was this what it was like to be a war photographer, getting amazing shots of battles to bring the realities of death and bloodshed as well as valor and heroism home to the public? It made him wish there were a reporter there with him to narrate and take notes of everything that occurred, because he doubted images alone would be able to convey the full impact of what he was seeing here! Which was, he supposed, why he was taking so many pictures to compensate, although he doubted the majority of them would make it into whatever article was written about the battle. (He hoped the paper paid him a decent bonus for this. He was risking life and wing to get these pictures, after all!)

Circling over the war-torn town, he observed Captain Salty in action, watching in awe as the Tentacool called upon the holy power of his Splash Plate armor. He could use the Plate's control over water to restore the ice all around him to its liquid state and use it against his enemies, lashing out with great whip-like (flaming) tendrils of water, firing surprisingly hard (flaming) water bullets, and unleashing high-pressure streams of (flaming) water so powerful they could cut through flesh and bone as easily as a laser. He also seemed to be capable of ripping the moisture from his enemies, leaving them weakened and dehydrated and easily vulnerable to a finishing blow from his tentacles, which were now capable of elongating themselves seemingly indefinitely thanks to the Splash Plate, or by launching the fiery spines covering his armor. Additionally, he could fire fiery energy beams from his eyes, but whether this was due to the Splash Plate or something all Tentacool could do (urban legend stated that Tentacools could absorb sunlight and refract it inside its body to use as a weapon, but he'd never heard of any non-magical Tentacool actually performing such a technique) Todd didn't know. What he did know was that it was a difficult phenomena to capture on film, the beams were either moving too quickly to be caught on film or were so bright the glare made it almost impossible to see anything else in the photo. Salty's gigantic (flaming) tidal waves, which he seemed to be able to summon from thin air to sweep away his foes in a great flood, was much more photogenic. (Not quite as cool as some of the things Todd had seen Professor Brindleworth pull off, though, especially after he'd put that cool mustache, eyepatch, and hat on. Where had they come from, anyway?)

Leaving Salty to finish washing away the trash, Todd moved on to get some pictures of Butler and Diane, who made quite a battle couple. Their formal behavior and dress concealed a surprisingly powerful pair of fighters, though he supposed it made sense, after all, they _were_ serving one of the world's greatest sorceresses, who reputedly demanded such excellence and competence in combat from all her employees. (As more than a few would-be thieves who tried to rob her stores or corporate buildings discovered, much to their detriment.) As he watched in amazement, Butler locked hands with one of the biggest and burliest trolls in the war band he and Diane were fighting and actually began to grapple it…and, both to Todd and the troll's amazement, seemed to be _winning!_ "Gah! H-how can you be so strong?" the troll cried incredulously as Butler implacably pushed him back, wincing as the Dusclops's spectral hands started crushing his fists. "Y-you're just a spook in a fancy suit!"

"One of my venerable ancestors was the first in our family to wrestle a troll into submission with his bare hands," Butler said ominously, red eye glowing. "Since then, we have all been trained to do the same thing, should we ever meet a troll in battle…and I am pleased to say, sir, that I am more than adequate to match his feat!" He fired a Hyper Beam at point-blank range, vaporizing the troll's torso and head in a fearsome orange-yellow blast of flaming energy.

"Dear, I'm fairly sure your ancestor didn't use Hyper Beam when he fought that troll," Diane said as she wrapped her legs around the neck of an ice wolf whose jaws she was holding shut with Psychic, snapping it and ending its life with a twist.

"That's because he was a human, which made his accomplishment all the more impressive. But I'm sure that if he could have used Hyper Beam, he would have," Butler said as he yanked the weapons out of the hands of the trolls rushing towards him to avenge their comrade with Psychic, flinging them at some wolves which were approaching from behind and firing flaming Shadow Punches at the trolls. Diane Teleported before another wolf could close its jaws on her, landing on a Shadow Punch and jumping from ghostly fist to ghostly fist until she reached the trolls, leaping into the air as the punch she was riding on smashed into the chest of one of the brutes, twirling elegantly and using her magical power to augment her spin and shoot down at the troll's skull hard enough to split it open. She leaped from between the beast's shoulders as the troll collapsed, sailing towards another one, who reached up its thick hands to grab her…

Until Butler's hands, floating separately from his body, grabbed the troll's wrists and pulled them back so hard the arms dislocated, causing the troll to howl in pain…and then it couldn't howl anymore, as Diane kicked it in the chin so hard its head flew back, snapping its neck. As Diane leaped back into the air and started jumping amongst the trolls like a deadly ballerina, Butler kept them off guard and distracted by pummeling them with his disembodied fists and blasts of fiery Night Shade from his single eye. Some angry wolves pounced at him from behind…

And vanished into his back, never to return. The stories about Dusclops having hollow bodies with black holes at their cores was true, as the Niflheim monsters found much to their detriment. Ice elementals appeared on the rooftops and started flinging spears at him and Diane. Butler casually disintegrated them with Psychic, and then used his floating hands to lift Diane high into the air, the Kirlia posing as if she were a dancer being raised by her partner as part of a two-person performance. Once she was high enough, Butler let go of her then flung a massive Will-o-Wisp fireball at her. Diane's eyes glowed and she spun around, using Psychic as the fireball struck her to split it into dozens of smaller but no less potent fireballs which rained down on the monsters, causing them to cry out in pain as they were set on fire or began to melt. Diane landed gracefully on the ground, crossed her arms before her, and formed a burning blade of psionic energy in each hand. With a battle cry, she charged into the mob of panicked and burning monsters, slicing and gouging and stabbing, Butler giving her support with his phantom limbs and eye beams.

"Wow," Todd murmured, impressed as he took picture after picture. "I wonder if they put this much effort into the housework?" An ice spear shot past his head, startling him out of his awed reverie. "Huh? What the-" He yelped in alarm as a number of ice elementals on nearby roofs spotted him and started throwing spears at him. Realizing he had drifted too close to the ground in his effort to get really good shots, Todd quickly ascended out of their reach, more than a little on edge. It was one thing to observe and document fighting, but he didn't really want to be part of it. He was a photographer, not a warrior!

Unfortunately, he didn't seem to have much choice in the matter, as he discovered when a flight of ice dragons started winging their way towards him. Realizing they must consider him to be viable prey (or, a small part of him feared/hoped, mating material), Todd turned and flew in the opposite direction, not wanting anything to do with them. However, the dragons were not to be dissuaded and came in closer, spitting ice breath at him as they drew near. He yelped in alarm, having to duck and bob to avoid the frozen blasts, moving a bit more slowly and sloppily than he would have liked. It had been a rather long time since he'd practiced aerial combat maneuvers, something he was dearly kicking himself for now. After all, his ancestors had been terrors of the skies, and many of his cousins still were, what would they think if they could see him now?

Desperate to shake the dragons off and too startled to remember any spells, he tossed several of his custom Pester Balls in his wake. The dragons reflexively fired ice blasts at the projectiles…which they soon discovered was a big mistake when the balls exploded and released a noxious gas that sent them coughing and gasping for breath, dropping behind as they struggled to get their convulsions under control and keep from falling out of the sky. Todd laughed and turned to take a picture of them…

And a blast of ice struck one of his wings, freezing it solid. He cried in alarm as the sudden weight dragged him down, frantically flapping his other wing harder to try and compensate. He looked up and saw to his horror that another group of ice dragons had circled ahead and was now swooping towards him, ice breath powering up in their jaws. Desperately he threw more Pester Balls, but the dragons had seen what the spheres had done to their brethren and gave them a wide berth, splitting up so the balls flew harmlessly past them before converging on Todd. The Aerodactyl screamed in terror as they lunged at him, fangs and claws gleaming to tear him to pieces…

When suddenly a powerful energy blast struck one of the dragons, knocking it out of the sky. The dragons turned in surprise as another blast knocked a second of their number away, before a third found itself wrapped up in a flaming Spider Web and unable to free its wings as it plummeted to the ground. Todd sighed in relief when he saw Rose and Happy, the latter looking resplendent and terrifying in her Insect Plate armor, swooping in to rescue him. And what luck, too! They were two of the few combatants remaining that he hadn't gotten pictures of yet!

One of the remaining dragons hissed in rage and spat ice breath at the two winged rescuers. Happy waved the staff clutched in her talons and a great fireball materialized, blasting through the ice breath and striking the dragon in the chest, sending it tumbling to the ground in flames. The last dragon shrieked furiously as it lunged at Happy, who casually made a few gestures with her Plate-generated extra limbs…and watched as the dragon fell to pieces inches away from her, the bits tumbling to the ground. "Are you okay?" the Butterfree asked.

"I've been better," Todd panted, sweat rolling down his gray skin as he tried to support himself with only one wing. "I don't suppose you could help me with that, too?"

"Sure thing…uh oh," Rose said in alarm when she noticed that the effects of the Pester Balls had worn off on the first group of dragons and they were now flying towards them, enraged and out for blood. "I think we need to take care of this first." She flapped her wings and waved her staff, using her magic to create a mighty flaming Whirlwind that swept up the startled ice dragons, the beasts shrieking and loosing their ice breath on each other as they were battered and burnt and wildly spun about. Extending her claws, Happy flew into the tornado, her strengthened wings allowing her to pierce and repel the fierce wind and fire with ease, allowing her to fly in and out of the tornado several times in rapid succession before coming to a halt with her back turned to it. She turned…

And the dragons in the Whirlwind exploded in bloody pieces, having been sliced apart by Happy's Plate-powered blades. "Wow! Cool!" Todd said, wishing his other wing weren't frozen solid, because he couldn't take pictures without it and that had been something definitely worth getting a shot of.

"Yes, if you consider killing people to be cool," Rose said bitterly.

"It is when it's the bad guys, and you do it in a really flashy and stylish way," Todd said.

The Taillow glanced at him distastefully. "This isn't a game. This is a serious battle. People could get killed, just like you almost did. It's not something to be taken lightly."

"…Sorry," Todd apologized, Miltanked by her statement. "This is my first battle. I've never really been involved in anything like this up close and personal before."

"And now you have," Happy said as she licked the blood off her claws. "Why didn't you fight back against those dragons?"

"I did!" Todd said indignantly as Rose touched her staff to his frozen wing, melting it. "What do you think those Pester Balls were?"

"I mean _really_ fight back. You're an Aerodactyl, one of the most powerful and dangerous Flying Pokémon of all time. Why were you running away rather than fighting those dragons?" Happy asked.

"…I'm just a photographer," Todd said, embarrassed. "Up till now, I've always been sent on safe, easy assignments, like getting pictures of the dedication ceremony for some important building, or a reception for a visiting dignitary or important official, or fluff pieces. You know, stuff like that. I've never been sent anywhere where there was ever any chance of me being hurt."

"But what about before you became a photographer? You never learned how to fight then?" Rose asked in surprise.

"Well, my parents tried to teach me some, and I learned some basic defense spells in school, but…I dunno, I lacked the predatory instinct the rest of my family did. Well, I still have it, but for photography instead of battle," Todd said Mareepishly. "Which is why I studied to become a photomancer rather than applying myself to the sorts of aggressive high-risk jobs my siblings were striving for. Or, as my parents would say, the ones that actually pay the bills…"

"I see…" Rose murmured.

"Well, I guess that makes sense, you can't expect every member of a species to share the same characteristics or attitude," Happy admitted.

Todd nodded. "Yeah, deep down I'm a pacifist at heart. In fact, that's why I developed those Pester Balls, so I could specifically _avoid_ battle, since anyone who gets hit by one is generally too busy trying to clear their lungs to bother with me."

"…If you're a pacifist, then why did you think our killing those dragons was 'cool?'" Rose asked skeptically.

"Well, I'm okay with other people's violence, just so long as it's not directed at me," Todd explained. They sweatdropped.

"Well, I don't think you're going to be able to avoid danger if you keep acting like you have up until now," Rose said. "If you really aren't going to be able to defend yourself, maybe you should head back to the train. You'll be safer there."

"What? I can't do that!" Todd protested. "My place is here, on the scene of battle, documenting the titanic battles you're all engaged in! The world needs to know of the heroism and bravery you've displayed in repelling the invaders from Niflheim, and my pictures will provide proof of the sacrifices you've made for the people of Sinnorre! Otherwise, how else will they really appreciate everything you've done for them?"

Happy blinked. "That's…incredibly noble, Todd."

"Yeah, I had no idea you felt that way," Rose said.

"I'm a mon of hidden depths! That, and I don't think I can go back to the train since it's currently under heavy siege by what looks like hundreds of monsters and there's no way I can get through them," Todd said. The girls sweatdropped.

Rose sighed. "Then I guess we have no choice but to stick with you to make sure you don't do anything stupid that'll get you killed…"

"I suppose we're obligated to," Happy agreed reluctantly.

Todd gasped in delight. "Oh wow, then I have my own pair of escorts and bodyguards? That is so cool! With you to protect me, that means I can get the _really_ good shots without having to worry about some crazy ice monster trying to kill me! Come on, let's go see what that Professor Brindleworth is up to, there's always tons of explosions in his corner of the town!" Before they could get a word in, he turned and flew off.

"W-wait! Come back!" Rose protested, frantically flying after him.

Happy sighed as she followed suit. "This is not going to be fun…"

In the other direction…

Some ice elementals patrolling the rooftops looked up in puzzlement as a horizontal lightning bolt zigzagged towards them, quickly jumping out of the way and letting it fly past them and into the distance. They exchanged confused looks, wondering what that had been about…and then they noticed the small whirlwind blowing towards them, tearing up every building in its path. They panicked and quickly leaped off the building they were standing on, the tornado smashing it to pieces just as they vacated it. As it spun off, leaving a trail of destruction in its wake, the elementals again stared at each other in bewilderment, wondering what had just happened.

Had they been fast (and stupid) enough to chase after the two forces of nature, they would have found out the answer when the lightning bolt stopped in midair and rematerialized into Marianne, while the tornado slowed and came to a stop several meters away, dissipating to reveal Bow. "Aha! You 'ave led me on a merry chase, Marianne, but it seems as if I 'ave you right where I want you!" the Drifloon proclaimed.

Marianne flashed her terrifying grin, her laughter echoing through the air like crackling static. "Bzbzbzzzbzbzzzbz!"

Lightning bolts shot down from the sky and struck the ground in a ring all around them, threads of electricity splitting out from the primary bolts and weaving together to form a massive crackling web encircling the two ghosts. "Ah," Bow said with a frown. "Or per'aps you 'ave me right where _you_ want me. Hrmm."

Another lightning bolt stabbed down from the sky, striking Marianne on the horn. The Rotom's static laughter grew louder and more chaotic in intensity as the already oversized Plasma wisp grew even _bigger,_ absorbing the electricity until she was twice her original size (Making her approximately eight feet tall. She had always been large for her species.). Her glyph-covered electrical aura pulsated, and suddenly parts of it exploded outwards, lighting bolts striking down on the nearby rooftops and taking shape, coalescing to form bipedal creatures made of pure electricity, their jagged-edged forms shifting through all the colors of the rainbow as they danced and wiggled in place due to the unstable energy making up their bodies. Bow frowned as the creatures split apart, replicating themselves at an exponential rate until there were almost a hundred of them staring up at her. "Lightning elementals, eh? Looks like you are taking a page out of your mozzer's book. Good zing you aren't ze only one who can do zat! Spirits of ze wind, come to my aid!" She unfolded her fan and swished it in front of her, generating a strong breeze that flew through the holes in the electric web encircling them and swirling around her, splitting apart into dozens of miniature cyclones which shaped themselves into wind elementals similar to the ones Rebecca had summoned. "Zere, now it is no longer so one-sided," Bow taunted as Marianne gnashed her teeth angrily. "Get zem!" Howling like…well, the wind, the breezy spirits flew down at the lightning elementals, which leaped upwards to meet them on pillars of electricity.

The two armies collided, wind and electricity blowing all over the place as the elementals clashed. Although the wind elementals were capable of generating gusts and cyclones and wind blades strong enough to blast the lightning elementals to pieces, the creatures would simply regenerate from the scattered bits and come back for more. Conversely, while the lightning elementals could fire powerful energy bolts and rend the wind elementals to shreds with their jagged claws and fangs, ultimately that had no effect, since the bolts either passed right through the living cyclones or caused them to spawn new warriors as well. After all, they were creatures made of air, and how was a person supposed to combat something like that?

As a result, since both groups of elementals were beings of pure energy unlike elementals of ice or rock, which were bound into physical forms, neither army was able to effect any lasting damage upon the other, especially since neither of them was made of the other's opposing element. That was all right, though, Bow hadn't called in her friends the wind spirits in hopes of defeating Marianne's minions, but of keeping them occupied long enough for her to take out Bellum's eldest (and at the moment, only) daughter. "Now, Marianne, it is just you and I! It is time for you to pay for what you did to my _cher ami!"_ She waved her fan angrily at Marianne, generating a solid wall of air that slammed into the Rotom with the force of a hurricane, knocking her back. Marianne grunted as she was buffeted by the wind, the hardened air blades which followed it up slicing into her plasma and causing her energy field to convulse wildly. Enraged, she turned into a lightning bolt and shot towards Bow, zigzagging between the oncoming wind blades and dancing around the cyclones and walls of air that came after them. She gathered her power, ready to slam into Bow hard enough to electrify the Drifloon into the next world…

Only to rebound off the barrier of hardened air Bow managed to call up at the last moment, knocking her for a loop. "You did not zink I would be beaten zat easily, did you?" Bow mocked as she pointed her head at the dazed Marianne and began spinning in place, generating a purple cyclone of Ominous Wind that roared towards the Rotom. Marianne recovered and shifted into her Fan Forme, blades spinning so fast they became a solid blur as she launched rapid-fire Air Slashes down the center of an electrically-charged cyclone of her own, trying to repel Bow's Ominous Wind. At first, it seemed to have an effect, or at least managed to stalemate Bow's attack…until Bow laughed and whipped out a second fan, causing her spin to speed up and the amount of wind she churned out to increase significantly. "Come now, I am a wind mage! Do you really zink using my own element against me will do anyzing?" she taunted as she not only pushed Marianne's attack back, but used her mastery over wind to turn it against her, the cyclone reversing itself and wrapping around Marianne as the Air Slashes bombarded her, leaving her helpless to save herself from getting blasted head-on by the Ominous Wind.

The Rotom bellowed in pain, her wails like white noise on a television that had lost its cable connection, electricity blasting all over the place and causing Bow to flinch in place and float back from the glare. The winds eased up as a result, allowing the furious Marianne to regain control of her plasma and shift into her Frost Forme, bombarding Bow with a Blizzard. Bow grimaced in distaste as she was pelted with snow and chunks of hail. "Ugh, as if zis weazzer wasn't bad enough already!" She waved her fan, creating a cyclone that sucked up all the snow Marianne was churning out and entrapping it in the vortex, which she sent flying back at the Rotom. Marianne quickly shifted into her Heat Forme and spat out an Overheat that not only melted the snow, but filled in the vacuum it left behind, creating a towering inferno. "Ooh! Zat's much better," Bow said as the ambient temperature increased. "_Merci_, Marianne!" Frustrated, Marianne opened the door in her midsection again and launched fireballs at Bow as the fire twister dissipated. Bow generate a smaller cyclone, sucking the fireballs up and spitting them back out in lazy arcs that caused them to crash down on the heads of the battling elementals, not that they noticed. Bow tutted. "You'll 'ave to try 'arder zan zat, I'm afraid."

Marianne did. She shifted to Wash Forme and fired a Hydro Pump, then immediately changed back to Frost Forme and struck the stream of water with a Blizzard just as Bow generated her cyclone, freezing it into a thick pillar of ice which flew right through the twister and smashed through the barrier of hard air the startled Drifloon called up, shattering on impact and sending her flying back into the lightning barrier around the arena, causing her to scream in pain as millions of volts of electricity coursed through her body. Cackling gleefully, Marianne raised her lightning bolt limbs over her head and used Evil Eye, her eyes glowing purple and causing purple mist to come out of her arms and coalesce in a ball over her head. A purple eye opened in the knot of darkness at the heart of the mist and fired waves of purple and blue energy at Bow, an attack powerful to enough to kill the wind witch (more than usual) due to her current electrified state.

Or at least, it would have if a group of wind elementals hadn't materialized in front of Bow, combining their powers to create a cyclone to retaliate against the Evil Eye, the energy blasts clashing into each other with tremendous force. However, the Evil Eye attack was much stronger than the cyclone, so all the spirits did was slow the blast down as it tore through the whirlwind and the elementals and…

Completely failed to hit Bow, who'd been dragged free from the electric barrier by another elemental while the others had held the Evil Eye back. _"Je vous remercie, mes amis,"_ Bow said weakly, her purple body still crackling with electricity, her ribbons burnt to a crisp. She cast a healing spell on herself to mend her wounds as Marianne howled in fury and blasted the elemental that had saved Bow with an Elecball, which did about as much damage as you would expect. "Well, zat was a close one, I will admit…but in ze end, it just proves what I already knew, zat I will win in ze end. Do you know why zat is, Marianne? Because I 'ave friends who can back me up in a tight spot, friends who I can count on when I need zem most! And who do you 'ave, Marianne? Your Mozzer? Your lightning elementals? 'Ow many of zem would do what my friends just did to 'elp you?" Marianne shot a look at her minions, who buzzed nonchalantly and tried not to meet her eye. Bow smirked as the Rotom crackled with anger. "Zat's what I zought. Not a single one. You 'ave no one, Marianne…which is why you will lose."

Marianne shook with rage, static bolts shooting off from her as she lost control of her temper. The smug bitch thought she was so superior just because she had lots of friends and money and a nice house and…and a mother who loved her? Well, Marianne didn't need those! She didn't need any of that! She already had everything she needed to win…and it was time to prove it and show she was a worthy heir to her mother's legacy of evil. Howling like a radio unable to quite get in tune with a station, Marianne gathered the lightning elementals to her, magnetically drawing them into her body despite their startled cries and unwilling protests, adding their power to her own and causing her form to grow yet again…and _change_, into something new, something unprecedented, something that no Rotom had ever managed before.

Bow's jaw dropped in horror as Marianne towered over her, going from an eight foot-tall bulbous lightning rod to a massive humanoid figure at least fifty feet in height, its form blocky and covered with all sorts of flashing lights and buttons. Its zigzagging energy arms ended in circular pincer claws. Its inflexible legs ended in thick bases with rollers growing from the bottom. A protrusion that looked rather a lot like a key sprouted from her back. Her head, now cubic in form, had flashing strobe lights emerging from the top and a pair of huge gray eyes set behind a black screen with a big blocky grin made of metal panels under it. A strong gray aura surrounded the monstrosity, pulsing and emitting bursts of static which ravaged the nearby buildings. "BZZBZZBZZ," she hummed robotically, her many lights flashing in tune with her vocalizations.

"…Well," Bow said after a moment, dumbstruck by the size and impossibility of Marianne's new Steel-type Meta Forme. "Zat's new."

Miles away…

Paul dashed across the snowy foothills outside of Dusty Ditch, the wind howling and blowing snow and hail right in his face as he went, his footprints vanishing behind him. Paul didn't notice. He was an Ice-type, after all, and had grown up in conditions similar to this; this sort of weather didn't bother him.

It didn't bother Dawn either, who was not only keeping up with him, but actually gaining on him, her dress and braided ears flowing out behind her as she chased him, upper body leaned forward and arms pressed to her sides to maximize her aerodynamicity and running speed. Not that she really needed any of that with feet and leg muscles as strong as hers, but it was the way she had been trained to run, and as a result she moved at speeds greater than most Buneary could ever hope to accomplish. The weather didn't faze her in the slightest, which didn't surprise Paul at all, since she had grown up in the same place as he. In fact, when they were younger, they'd gone on races like this outside the Claw clan's fortress all the time. He'd always won those races, and their matches…and he had no intention of breaking that streak now.

Oddly, the Dragonite Kairyu also barely seemed to notice the adverse conditions, which was somewhat troubling since last time Paul checked, Dragonite were weak against Ice and wintry weather. He supposed that the dragon wizard could be using spells to protect himself, but…something about the way he flew, the way he moved so gracefully and swiftly that it almost seemed like he was actually _dodging_ the snowflakes, seemed uncomfortably familiar.

Setting that matter aside for the moment, he crested a rise and found a shallow dip in the land, a snow-covered bowl of sorts formed by a ring of hills. There weren't many trees or rocks, or anything that could be used as a hiding place, but Paul had never needed to rely on things like that to win a battle. His ninja skills were strong enough to not require them. "This looks like a good place, don't you think, Dawn?" he asked as she approached.

_It will suffice,_ she clicked, not looking the least bit surprised that he'd deduced her identity. Now if only he could figure out whom Kairyu really was. He doubted that was his real name, but…no, it couldn't possibly be _him,_ could it?

"Indeed, it will," the Dragonite agreed as he landed beside them.

"Good. Then let's get down there so we can start killing each other," Paul said.

_Only one person will die here this day…and it will not be either of us,_ Dawn said, gesturing to herself and to the Dragonite.

"We'll see about that," Paul said as he slid down the slope into the shallow bowl, knowing they wouldn't hit him while his back was turned. Not yet, anyway. He walked to the center of the makeshift and waited for them to join him before asking the question that was burning at him. "So, before we start, there's something I have to know…who are you, really? And why do you want to kill me so much?" Paul asked Kairyu.

The Dragonite smiled coldly. "Don't you remember, Paul? You killed my son."

"I've killed lots of people's sons. You're going to have to be more specific," Paul said.

"How many of them were your childhood friends?" Kairyu asked.

Paul stiffened, the connections snapping into place in his mind, confirming his worst suspicions. "No…it can't be! I killed you!"

"No, you killed a simulacra," Palmer said. "I was away on a long-term mission and so had to leave behind a doppelganger to keep up appearances. I didn't even know about your misdeeds until Dawn here told me about them."

"A simulacra…but then that means…!" Paul looked around in alarm.

_Unfortunately, it seems that Master Palmer was the only one other then myself to survive your betrayal,_ Dawn clicked angrily. _More's the pity, I would not have minded taking you down with the aid of the rest of the Claw clan's elders._

Paul's shoulders slumped in relief. "Then it's just you, huh? You're all that's left of the Claw? Good. Then I won't have to worry about anyone else trying to assassinate me once I've gotten rid of you two and destroyed the last semblance of my past for good."

_You are mistaken, Paul. It is you who will be destroyed for good,_ Dawn said.

"It may just be the two of us…but we're all it'll take to end you, and avenge the brethren you've betrayed," Palmer said, narrowing his eyes. "Including my son."

"Barry had it coming," Paul said dismissively. "If I didn't do it, someone else would have eventually. He was a terrible ninja, you know it as well as I do! Always impetuous and obnoxious and in a hurry, always yelling at people to pay him fines after _he_ bumped into them…it's like he thought he was one of the ninjas from that stupid anime, you know the one. That kind of behavior would have gotten him killed out in the field. I did him the favor of killing him before he could do something that would humiliate the both of you and ruin your honor. You should be thanking me for getting rid of that weakling!"

"You!" Palmer snarled angrily, struggling to control himself. "I'll be the first to admit Barry was not the perfect ninja, but he was still my son, dammit, and you took him from me! How _dare_ you say that by killing him you were 'helping' him!"

_That 'weakling' was our friend, Paul, no matter how much of a pain he could be! He idolized you! He _trusted_ you! He was one of the few people who still believed in you after you broke our most sacred laws…and you killed him like everyone else!_ Dawn accused.

"Friend? Please," Paul snorted. "I always hated him, even before my eyes were opened to the weakness festering at the heart of the Claw clan and I gained immortality. The only reason I let him hang out with us is because it would have been unwise to insult the son of one of the clan's most powerful and influential ninjas. Isn't that why you never told him what you _really_ felt when he started getting on your last nerve?"

_I never told him that because I valued his feelings more than I valued his parentage. Barry could be annoying, but he was still my friend, and I would have treated him the same no matter _who_ his father was. I once thought you would have behaved the same way,_ Dawn said angrily.

"I might have…once," Paul admitted. "But that was a long time ago, back when I thought I still needed friends…before I realized just how much you and everyone else was holding me back and keeping me from reaching my full potential."

"The only one keeping you from doing that was yourself, Paul!" Palmer said. "Rather than take the test that would have proven you had what it took to be a true ninja—a test which, I might add, _Barry_ took even though you did not—you turned to darker forbidden arts, going against everything our clan stood for!"

"Good! If the clan was afraid to claim true power, the power they had been guarding all these years, then they _deserved_ to be disobeyed! They _deserved_ to be betrayed!" Paul shouted. "We could have used the scroll to rule, to dominate…instead, we spent centuries kowtowing to Rayquaza and the rest of the Draconian Empire, preventing ourselves from becoming stronger and escaping the cage our traditions and code of honor had formed around us! But instead of celebrating when I chose to defy custom and gain immortality, you punished and imprisoned me, and sentenced me to death! And since you so casually discarded me…I felt no compunction in doing the same to all of you!"

"…You really have lost it, haven't you?" Palmer murmured, appalled. "Dawn told me that the scroll had driven you mad…but I hadn't realized it had twisted you _this_ much."

"It showed me the truth…that I didn't need anyone but myself to become the best! Just like I don't need anyone else now to destroy you and end the Claw forever!" Paul said.

_That is a task easier said than done, Paul. There are two of us and one of you, and you no longer possess immortality,_ Dawn pointed out. _The last time we battled, it was the only thing that kept me from killing you in a straight-on fight. Without it, especially with a ninja as skilled as Master Palmer fighting beside me, you have no hope of besting us. _

Paul snickered. "Ah, but that's where you're wrong, old friend. The only reason you won last time was because I was holding back!"

Dawn started. _What?_

"Don't be ridiculous," Palmer sneered.

"I speak nothing but the truth. Do you really think they'd have let me keep fighting in the tournament circuit if they knew just how powerful I really am, the kinds of things I'm capable of?" Paul taunted. "I _had_ to hold back to keep from being disqualified and barred for life. If I had used my full strength before, you would never have managed to wound me as seriously as you did, or strip me of my immortality!"

_Well, there's nobody here but us, so why don't you show us this 'true strength?'_ Dawn asked skeptically.

"Careful, he's up to something…" Palmer murmured.

Paul grinned sinisterly. "Is that doubt I detect, Dawn? How foolish of you. You seem to have forgotten one important thing about me…I am a Shadow Pokémon, and what is it that the strongest of us can do?"

Dawn's eyes widened in horror, realizing from experience what Paul was about to do. _No! Not that!_

"That's right!" Paul cackled, biting down on a false tooth, shattering it and releasing the Shadow he'd hidden in it. "We can go into HYPER MODE!" With a cry that rang across every corner of the frozen desert, a tremendous pitch-black Shadow Aura exploded around Paul, the force of it evaporating all the snow on the ground and the surroundimng hills and sending Dawn and Palmer flying. Palmer managed to recover faster and righted himself in the air. He didn't bother trying to catch Dawn, confident she could handle herself. He was right; the Buneary managed some elaborate twirls in the air and landed neatly on her feet, looking down in alarm at the transformation Paul was undergoing. He was screaming in pain and ecstasy as his fangs grew longer, his claws sharpened, his muscles bulked up, his crown and collar transformed into crimson spikes, his ear and tail feathers became horns and blades, bone spikes burst from his joints and back, and veins bulged out of his skin as the red in his irises bled out to fill the rest of his sclera, making his eyes completely bloodshot. "This does not look good…" Palmer murmured.

_Hyper Mode…I should have realized he could do this! If any Shadow Pokémon's heart is black enough to attain it, it's his!_ Dawn cursed. _But because he didn't use it before, it never occurred to me that he was capable of it…I am sorry, Master. I have failed you._

"Don't be so quick to blame yourself, Dawn, you told me what these Shadow Pokémon are capable of, but the idea of Paul having a Hyper Mode never occurred to me either," Palmer said. "As senior ninja and last of our clan's ruling council, if anyone should have anticipated this, it was me. The fault lies with me, not with you."

_Master-_ Dawn started.

"Will both of you quit blaming each other? It's making me sick!" Paul snarled, his voice turning thick and guttural. He crossed his longer, stronger arms on his chest and concentrated. Much to Palmer and Dawn's amazement, ice materialized on his body, ice that congealed and shaped itself to form armor. A very _familiar_ set of armor…

"That…that is the armor of the Slicer!" Palmer gasped.

_The same armor _I_ wore when I was turned into a Shadow Pokémon!_ Dawn said.

Plaques with two spikes each were mounted on his shoulders. Gauntlets with three blades each were on his arms, with a pair of long curved spikes growing over the claws on his left hand. Ice plates covered his hips and chest, while ice boots with three greaves each formed on his legs, the toes open to let his feet claws out. Paul grinned as an ice grille clicked into place over his mouth, his new spiky helmet covering all of his head except for his eyes and a hole that had been carved out of the trident-shaped ornament on the forehead to make room for his yellow gem. "You like it? After I saw the kind you managed to generate, I thought I'd get a set of my own. Considering that I'm no longer immortal, I figured I'd need some manner of protection to make sure I don't die before I find a way to live forever again, and what better protection to wear than the same kind of armor that was worn by some of our kind's greatest legends?"

"Before the Toe clan's betrayal, the Slicer armor was only worn by our greatest heroes!" Palmer snarled angrily. "You are not fit to wear it, not even a facsimile!"

_On the contrary, Master, I can't think of anyone more fitting…after all, aside from the Slicer, has there even been a greater traitor in the history of our clans?_ Dawn corrected.

"Ah, I see what you mean," Palmer realized. "Perhaps Dawn has a point, the armor _does_ suit a traitor to his kin like you, Paul."

"Why thank you," Paul said coyly. "Why else do you think I made it in the first place? It's a symbol of my power, and how much I have grown since the destruction of our clan. While the two of you adhered to the rules that have stifled us for centuries, I have evolved, becoming the greatest ninja who ever lived!"

_Those rules existed for a reason, Paul_, Dawn said. _By breaking them, you are not worthy to be called a ninja!_

"Maybe you're right," Paul admitted. "After all, why would I want to lump myself in with idiots like you? I can call myself whatever the Abyss I want…that's the benefit of having freedom and power, nobody can stop me from doing as I please!"

"Freedom? Power? Please," Palmer scoffed.

Dawn nodded in agreement. _You are nothing but a slave of Oblivion's Shadow. You come and go at his bidding, and are reliant on him for power and an alternative to immortality, now that the cursed scroll is gone forever. Without him, you are no more than just another bloodthirsty thug with delusions of grandeur!_

"I'm _far_ more than just some thug!" Paul snapped angrily, his Aura blazing. "Let me show you just what I'm capable of!"

"Fine," Palmer said, throwing off his robe at the same time as Dawn discarded her gown. Beneath their disguises, both of them were wearing white ninja gis to blend in with the snow. Dawn had somehow managed to remove her makeup, equip her new claws and sword, put on her ornaments and wrappings, and dyed her fur in the split second her body had been hidden from view by the discarded dress, while Palmer had managed to put on a ninja mask and draw a sword as well in the same second. How had they done this so quickly? Ninja quick-change tricks, naturally!

_And we will show you what _we_ are capable of,_ Dawn said.

Paul grinned behind his grille. "I'm looking forward to it."

There was silence for a moment as the snow fell. They stared at each other, waiting for some sort of signal to indicate they should begin. After a few minutes, they received that signal: a snow-laden tree branch that had been weakened by Paul's transformation and was no longer able to bear its burden creaked and snapped off, dumping its load to the ground. The rupture rang throughout the area like a thunderclap, and before the snow had even hit the ground the three ninjas were in the air, leaping towards each other for a clash that would be so incredible that later on Leo would complain that they didn't make a video of it for him to watch.

Higher up and further away…

"Get back here, Articuno!" Ritchie yelled as he pursued the ice bird up the mountainside, using the power of the Fist Plate to leap from crag to crag and run up sheer vertical cliff walls with incredible speed and agility, his natural athleticism boosted to incredible levels by his armor. "You can't evade us forever!"

"Who said anything about evading? If you lose your footing up here, I won't even need to lift a talon to finish you!" Articuno squawked back, smashing a Steel Wing into a cliff and sending several hundred tons of rock and snow tumbling down towards Ritchie in a tumultuous avalanche. "Let's see you survive this!"

"With pleasure!" Ritchie said, leaping from boulder to boulder, remaining on each plummeting rock for only a fraction of a second before moving to the next one, swiftly climbing up the falling chunks of debris as if they were motionless floating platforms and clearing the danger zone in mere moments.

Ash, who wasn't quite as fast or agile as Ritchie, didn't do quite as well. "!" he shouted as he lost his footing while attempting to mimic Ritchie's feat and started getting carried down by the avalanche towards the very, VERY distant ground, though being knocked about by the rocks and buried in the snow would probably kill him before he hit the bottom.

Fortunately, he had a guardian angel looking out for him, or rather, a guardian Pupitar. "DADDY!" Tiny cried in horror as he saw Ash fall down the mountainside towards his demise. "Cruise, come on, we have to help him!"

The other Pupitar, who had been so intent on trying to catch up to his own parental figure, started both from the realization that Ash was in jeopardy and that Tiny had spoken. "R-Rico, you spoke! But I thought you had a vow of silence?"

"Saving my Daddy's life is more important than that right now, come on!" Tiny shouted, flying down after Ash. Cruise glanced briefly at Ritchie, who hadn't noticed what was going on and was still chasing Articuno, then turned away and followed Tiny.

Ash cried out in pain as he was knocked about and battered, bashed repeatedly between boulder and mountainside as he fell, huge chunks of snow and ice bombarding him and keeping him from getting his bearings. An especially nasty blow to the head caused his vision to go dark for a moment, and he came dangerously close to passing out…

When suddenly his descent came to a rather jerking and painful halt, causing him to yelp in pain as both his arms got caught over something very large and very pointy, nearly dislocating them. "Hang on, I've got you!" someone shouted.

His vision swimming in and out of focus, Ash stared dazedly at the thing under his arm and realized it was a Pupitar. "Uhhh…Tiny?"

"Huh? No, I'm Cruise," said the confused Pupitar. "Who's Tiny?"

"I am," said the Pupitar under Ash's other arm.

"I thought your name was Rico?" asked the puzzled Cruise.

"Um…well…the thing is, uh…Daddy and I may not have been one hundred percent honest with you about a few things…" Tiny said slowly.

"Um, can we talk about this a little later, guys?" Ash asked as he managed to regain some of his senses, though his head—and most of his body—still hurt like the Abyss. He looked down and gulped when he saw that he was floating several thousand feet off the ground, the ongoing tumult of snow and rock continuing its descent down the mountain just behind them. "Preferably somewhere with solid ground?"

"Oh, right," Tiny said shamefacedly.

"Hang on, we'll get you to safety," Cruise said.

Tiny grunted as he and Cruise both expelled gas from inside their shells to carry Ash towards the top of the mountain. "Phew…you're kinda heavy, Daddy…"

"Well, now you know how I felt carrying you all the time," Ash said.

With some effort, they managed to carry Ash beyond the avalanche zone and onto a relatively stable landing fairly close to the top of the mountain, several times nearly fainting from exhaustion, which would have sent all of them tumbling to their doom. Fortunately, despite a few terrifying close calls, they made it to safety, where Ash pulled out several Berries and curative items and administered them to everyone to bring them back to full health and strength. "Where's your Daddy?" Tiny asked Cruise angrily once they'd had a moment to recover. "He should have been helping us!"

"He couldn't let Articuno get away!" Cruise protested. "He's probably fighting her right now! He probably didn't notice what happened, if he had, he would have come back to help us right away?"

"Oh yeah?" Tiny asked dubiously.

"Tiny, leave it, Cruise is right. Ritchie's a Lucario like me; it's instinctual for us to help people. It comes as second nature. If he had known what was going on, he would have doubled back straight away to help. I would have done the same for him."

"Yeah, but he didn't notice, now did he?" Tiny asked darkly.

There were several explosions and loud screeches from above them. They glanced up in unison at the peak only a few hundred meters above them, hearing the noises of a powerful battle taking place. "That's probably because Articuno has him a little tied up at the moment," Ash said, taking out his staff and running up the steep slope. "Let's see if we can't give him a hand, can we?"

The trio quickly scurried up the mountainside and soon reached the summit, where Ritchie was locked in frenzied combat with Articuno. The armored Lucario rolled to the side as the ice bird swooped past, her talons passing so close to the ground that they left deep scratches in the rock, and fired an Aura Sphere at her side. Articuno screeched in pain as the energy ball exploded, knocking her away, but managing to spread her wings and use the momentum to rise a little unsteadily back into the sky. "Hiori, Cruise, Rico! What took you guys so long?" Ritchie asked in surprise as he sensed them approaching.

"Daddy couldn't keep up with you and got caught in the avalanche!" Tiny accused angrily. "If we hadn't gone back for him, he'd have died!"

"What?" Ritchie gasped.

"Rico! Er, Tiny, er…whoever you are!" Cruise hissed.

"Oh mon, I'm sorry, Hiori," the alarmed Ritchie said. "I was so focused on catching up to Articuno, I just…I mean, I thought you were right behind me! I didn't mean to-"

"It's okay," Ash said. "Don't beat yourself up about it. It was an accident, you didn't mean for it to happen, right? And besides, I'm here in one piece, so no harm, no foul."

"…Well, if you say so…hey wait, since when does Rico talk?" Ritchie asked. "And what was that about a 'Tiny?'"

"Um, I'll explain later," Ash said as Tiny flushed in embarrassment.

"There won't be a later for you losers!" Articuno squawked as she circled the peak from a distance, snowflakes and ice chips trailing behind her. "I'm going to freeze you solid, and feast on your entrails! Nice and hard and cold, just the way I like them!"

"Wow, the Nihilators really did a number on her, huh?" Ritchie said.

Ash clenched his teeth. "The Nihilators. Yes."

"Which makes it all the more important for us to purify her!" Ritchie said, not noticing Ash's hesitance. "With both of us doing it, it should be a snap, right?"

"…Yeah. Yeah, it should be," Ash said, managing to find some hope and resolve from Ritchie's stubborn determination. Had he been that naïve once, unwilling to believe that a good person or god could ever become truly evil? It was almost impossible to believe…

"I'll help you any way I can, Daddy!" Cruise said.

"Me too!" Tiny said, not wanting to be outdone by the other Pupitar.

Ritchie and Ash both grinned. "We'd be happy to have you!" Ash said.

"With all of us working together, Articuno doesn't stand a chance!" Ritchie agreed.

"Blech, will you cut it out already? You're making me sick!" Articuno said in disgust. "Let's see if you'll be so cheerful and optimistic when it starts _hailing_ on your parade!" Her body glowed blue, and fog spread out from her body, seeping into the clouds above and causing balls of hail to start falling. More balls of hail then there were already, that is.

Ash grimaced and raised his arms to brace himself as the hail pelted him. "Unfh…good thing we aren't affected too much by the weather thanks to our protective spells!"

"And my armor," Ritchie said, not flinching in the slightest as hailstones the size of his fists smashed into his suit. Ash had to restrain a hint of jealousy.

"I'm not liking it quite as much," Tiny grunted as the wind and hailstones buffeted his shell. "Even with our spells!"

"Maybe I can do something about it," Cruise suggested. His eyes flashed blue and he started whipping up a sandstorm from its body, sand-laden winds blasting out away from him and blowing the snow away. "There we go! There can't be two weather conditions at the same time, so…huh?" he said in confusion as his Sandstorm dissipated and the hail started up again. "I don't understand…what happened to it?"

"Ha! Imbecile! It's always snowing in Niflheim, which is why it's my new favorite place in the world!" Articuno sneered. "Sand and hot weather have no place in this realm…it's nothing but snow, snow, snow, and if you don't like it, you can fuck yourself!"

"Stop using that kind of language! There are kids here!" Ritchie yelled.

"Screw you, dickhead!" Articuno shot back. Ritchie retaliated by firing a Flash Cannon, causing Articuno to squawk in alarm and quickly dive out of the way to keep from being hit by the powerful blast. "Oh, wanna play rough, huh? Fine! Get some of this!" Her body glowed blue and she released a wave of light blue subzero energy that Ash recognized as Sheer Cold.

"Ritchie, that looks like big trouble!" Ash said in alarm as the wave froze bits of the air solid on its path towards them.

"Don't worry, our spells will protect us!...I think," Ritchie said uncertainly.

"Daddy, I think we can break the wave using Aura," Cruise suggested.

"Huh? Hey, that's a great idea!" Ritchie said.

Ash nodded in agreement. "Everyone, power up your Auras, full blast! But, uh, let's all stand behind Ritchie just in case."

They quickly rushed to do just that, putting the armored Lucario in front so his Plate could grant them a measure of extra protection. Closing their eyes, they focused their power, causing blazing blue Auras to erupt from them and creating an azure inferno that blasted away all the snow nearby. The wave of Sheer Cold struck the Aura, the blue energies crackling and roiling fiercely as they collided…but inevitably, the Ice wave broke against the immovable obstacle that was the flames formed from their hearts, splitting in two and continuing past them, freezing the rest of the mountaintop in the process. Their Aura dissipated and they panted for a moment, needing to catch their breath from the immense exertion of will they had needed to pull that off. Articuno was not impressed. "Oh, you think you're so smart…let's see you try that with this!" she shrieked, spitting an Ice Beam and turning her head to sweep it across the peak.

Everyone scattered to dodge the Beam, Ash and Ritchie hurling Aura Spheres as they rolled to safety while Tiny launched Hidden Power spheres and Cruise fired a Dark Pulse, causing Ash to flinch slightly. He now knew the reason for his dislike for Dark Pulse—it had been the attack that killed his mother, even if it was an accident—but that didn't lessen his feelings for the move any. Articuno cackled and used her Steel Wing to deflect the projectiles while dodging around the beams, flying straight towards and over them, raining Ice Shards down on them and forcing them to scramble again to keep from getting hit. "Okay, this isn't working," Ash said as Articuno doubled back and prepared to make another attack run on them. "So long as she keeps so distant, we can't really hit her and she can pick us off at her leisure."

"I could jump at her," Ritchie suggested. "But if she moves out of the way, I'd miss and fall to the bottom of the mountain. We need to get her close enough to ground her, then you and I can purify her."

"Okay," Ash said. "So how do we do that?"

"I think I have an idea, Daddy," Tiny said.

"Okay," Ash said. "Let's hear it."

Articuno smirked as they got in a huddle, trying to come up with a strategy to defeat her. Yeah, like she was going to let something like that happen. "Word of advice, losers: don't stand still, you make an easier target that way!" she screeched, firing an Ice Beam and forcing them to frantically jump out of the way to keep from getting frozen. Laughing as they fell on their faces, she started flapping her wings, blowing a Blizzard at them.

"Hiori, now's our chance, while she's holding steady!" Ritchie shouted loud enough for Articuno to hear them over the howling winds.

Ash nodded, squinting his eyes as the frigid winds and clumps of snow bombarded him. "Right! Ready, Cruise?"

"Ready!" the Pupitar said, hovering between the two Lucario. "Let's do this!"

Ash and Ritchie nodded and touched Cruise's sides, all three of them closing their eyes and concentrating, focusing their power. A blaze of Aura exploded around Cruise, growing stronger as Ash and Ritchie channeled more and more of their own Aura into it, until he almost became invisible beneath the blue flames. Screaming in joy and pain as incredible power filled every cell in his body; Cruise launched himself away from the two Lucarios, who fell to their knees gasping for breath as they struggled to recover from the severe power loss. Articuno's eyes bulged as Cruise shot towards her like a cerulean torpedo. "Ack!" She quickly dove to the side, causing Cruise to rocket right past her and vanish into the distant snowstorm. "Ha! Nice try, losers, but you're going to need to do better than-" She paused, suddenly realizing something was wrong. She could only see Ash and Ritchie on the mountaintop. "Wait…where'd the other guy go-"

She was cut off as a screaming Tiny, Aura burning around him (though not quite as impressively as it had around Cruise), slammed into Articuno from behind, digging his spikes into her back and pouring as much power into his gaseous propulsion jets as possible to push Articuno towards the mountaintop. Articuno squawked in alarm and struggled to stop, wings flailing frantically as they tried to create enough drag to slow down her descent only to be pushed backwards by the wind shear hard enough to nearly dislocate them, causing her to scream in pain. Tiny's energy reserves ran out long before they reached their destination, but their momentum and Articuno's inability to air brake carried them the rest of the way, the icebird crashing beak-first into the ground and rolling end over end across the peak, almost falling off the other side. She moaned in pain and struggled to get up, blue feathers flying all over the place as she tried to untangle her wings and tail and claws from each other…

And Ash and Ritchie drove their fists into her face with an Aura-powered double punch, snapping Articuno's head back and flipping her over to land on her back in the snow. As she moaned, the two Lucario stood on top of her wings to pin them down and pressed their paws to her chest and forehead, concentrating on all their happiest thoughts and memories to pour Aura into her body as they attempted an Aura Purge. Articuno gasped as waves of positive energy flowed into her avian frame, ripples blasting away from her and melting the surrounding snow. "Oooooh," Tiny said as he floated over to watch.

"Is it working?" Cruise asked hopefully as he finally made his way back to the mountain.

"I dunno, I think we'll find out in a moment," Tiny replied.

Ash and Ritchie spent as long as they could channeling Aura before finally their strength ran out and they fell back, gasping and sweating all over. "That…uhhh…that was intense," Ritchie gasped.

Ash nodded. "I put just about everything I had into that…if that didn't purify her, nothing short of a 'dive to the heart' will do it!"

"Oh wow, you know how to do one?" Ritchie asked, impressed. "Did you learn it at that monastery you come from?"

"Er…no, I actually got it from a book," Ash said truthfully.

"Really? Can I see?" Ritchie asked.

"Maybe later," Ash said. He turned as a groaning Articuno managed to pull herself off that ground. "Articuno, are you okay? How do you feel?"

"Are you still evil?" Cruise asked, getting right to the point.

"Oh…ohhhh…" Articuno wailed. "What…what have I done…all these memories…the people I've killed…the crimes I've committed…the Pokémon I've eaten…did…did I really do that? Was that…me?"

"Yes," Tiny said bluntly. They glared at him. "What? It was!"

Articuno burst into tears. "No…nononononono! How could I do this? How could this have happened? I'm a terrible excuse for a Legendary Pokémon…I turned my back on everything I stood for, and allowed myself to become a puppet of evil for some flimsy promises of power. I betrayed my friends, my planet, and everyone who believed in me. I'm a monster…"

"It's okay," Ritchie said. "The Nihilators tricked you. They corrupted you and turned you into someone you're not. But you're free now."

"You have a second chance," Ash said, amazed by the change in Articuno's behavior. Maybe she had learned a lesson in the last thousand years after all? Granted, she'd been kind of a bitch the last time he'd seen her, but maybe whatever the Nihilators had done to her or the positive emotions they'd filled her with had allowed her to see just what kind of person she'd become, and let her realize the error of their ways. "You can prove that you still have what it takes to be a guardian of the Earth, and help us take down the Nihilators who did this to you!"

"And free your siblings, too! I'm sure they'll feel the same as you do, once we open their hearts!" Ritchie said excitedly.

"I-I know they will," Articuno stammered. "Oh, thank you. Thank you for freeing me. I've been a terrible person, and only now do I realize the harm I've caused and how selfish I've been. Thank you for showing me the light."

"No problem," Ritchie said.

Ash nodded in agreement. "We're Aura Guardians, it's what we do!"

"You are truly a tribute to your kind. I have encountered many of your forebears—and been reprimanded by them—and I know they would be proud of what you've done here this day," Articuno said.

They all smiled at that. "Us too?" Tiny asked hopefully.

"Why of course! None of this could have happened without you!" Articuno said.

"All right!" Cruise cheered, smashing into Tiny's side.

"Ow! What was that for?" Tiny asked angrily.

"We don't have paws, so we couldn't high-whatever," Cruise said. "So I improvised."

"Oh, okay," Tiny said.

"Now that Articuno's been purified, maybe she can help us fight off Bellum and the rest of her henchmons?" Ritchie suggested.

"And maybe get down from here safely?" Ash asked, glancing over the side of the peak.

"Of course! I'd be happy to help you get down!" Articuno said with a smile, spreading her wings...and bringing them down with a tremendous flap, creating a Gust that sent all of them flying backwards and off the edge of the mountaintop.

Tiny and Cruise wailed as they plummeted down the mountainside, and Ash dug his staff into the cliff face to keep from falling. Ritchie grabbed onto Ash to stop his descent and braced himself against the side of the mountain, a shocked look on his face. "I-I don't understand…why did she-"

"AHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, that was great! That was so great!" Articuno cried, laughing obnoxiously as she used Roost to heal herself. "You idiots! I can't believe you actually fell for that 'fake remorse' bit! I didn't think _anyone_ would really be stupid enough to fall for it, but I guess you dumbasses really take the boob prize, don't you?"

"What?" Ritchie cried incredulously as he and Ash managed to pull themselves back over the edge and onto solid ground.

"She tricked us…" Ash snarled. "She was never purified at all!"

"That's right!" Articuno sneered.

"But…but we poured Aura into her! All our positive thoughts and feelings! H-how could that not work? How could she still be a Shadow?" Ritchie protested.

"I'm one of Doctor Tarantulas's special 'XD' Shadow Pokémon!" Articuno bragged. "Which means the Shadow that I've been infused with is _far_ too powerful to be purged from my system by a weak little magic trick like that!"

"Then how about something stronger?" Ash snarled, closing his eyes and clasping his paws together, dredging up the remaining strength in his weary body and powering up his Aura, body glowing and sensory organs stiffening behind his head.

As Ritchie gawked incredulously, still stunned, and a dazed Cruise and Tiny floated back up into view, Articuno laughed and spread her wings wide, baring her chest. "Go ahead, try all you like! No matter what you do, you will never open my heart!"

"We'll see about that!" Ash growled…although deep down, he found himself wondering if she was telling the truth. No matter how hard he looked, he couldn't seem to find the light in the darkness that made up her Shadow Aura, the light that represented the last piece of Articuno's true self. But that couldn't be right…no matter how tightly her heart was sealed up, there should still have been some of it shining through! His book had explicitly said so! That is, unless… Driving that worrying thought away, Ash knew he had to try anyway. "Transcend…the confines of time and space!" His Aura flared, sending out a gust of wind, and a glowing blue image of himself projected out of his body and shot towards Articuno's.

Ritchie gasped. "Whoa! So…that's what it looks like? Incredible! I have to learn how to do that!"

"Wow, cool!" Cruise said.

"That's my Daddy!" Tiny said proudly. Articuno, oddly enough, didn't look the least bit worried by Ash's move. She simply grinned as the projection struck her…

And rebounded, Shadow Aura blasting up around her and causing the projection to fly back into Ash and knock him over. "Auuuugh!" he cried in pain as he fell on his back.

Ritchie gaped in disbelief. "What? No!"

"Daddy!" Tiny cried in alarm, rushing over to his father.

"Hahahahaha! Nice try…but again, not enough!" Articuno laughed.

"But-but I don't understand…how? How could that not have worked? That move is supposed to _always_ work!" Ritchie protested.

"On _mortals_, maybe," Articuno sneered. "But I'm not one of you short-lived pussies. I'm an immortal god, and the rules are different for us!"

"What?" Ritchie cried.

"She's right," Ash grunted as he levered himself up into a seating position, his body aching all over. "I was afraid of this…"

"W-what do you mean?" Ritchie demanded.

"Gods are, by and large, good. Or they're supposed to be, anyway," Ash said, recalling what he had read about in his book and heard from Master Yamiri. "They can be jerks and assholes sometimes, but for the most part they serve the laws of the Heavens. But if, for whatever reason, they fall…if they willingly turn to evil…then they become almost _completely_ evil, corrupted to the core, to the point where it's almost impossible for mortals like us to force them back into the light, even if we're Aura Guardians! Because we can't purify a heart that doesn't want to be saved…and when a deity goes over to the other side, they rarely, if _ever_, will have any reason to want to come back, because they were already really bad to some extent, and that side is where they feel most at home!"

"That's right! Why do you think Giratina and most of the other gods who joined the Ruler of Evil are still locked in the Abyss? They joined the Ruler because they knew it would give them everything they wanted, everything Arceus and his goody-two-talons brownbeakers would never have given them!" Articuno said. "And that's why I joined the Nihilators and became a Shadow Pokémon, because it would finally give me the chance to be the kind of person I wanted to be…as well as to escape my fate!"

"N-no…this…this can't be happening…" Ritchie whispered as he fell to his knees, a shocked look on his face.

Ash's heart went out to Ritchie, knowing what it felt like to have your worldview shattered…however, while Articuno's true nature was horrifying, it wasn't really that much of a surprise. A part of him had always believed Articuno was just a few steps away from that precipice, from the plunge into darkness…and not just because of what she and the others had done to his friends, either! (Well, okay, maybe that affected his feelings a little bit.) But wait…what had she just said? "What do you mean, 'your fate?'"

Articuno made a face. "Weeeeeeell, let's just say me and my siblings have never exactly been ideal deities. The higher-ups were always harping on us to stop fighting with each other and almost causing the destruction of the world, and be more respectful to our worshippers, and stop killing and eating people for the fun of it, you know, boring crap like that. We got punished a few times—totally unfairly, I might add!—but we'd always be given a second chance, because the Powers That Be are such sissies. But then, a thousand or so years ago, during the big disaster, we made a…er…slight error of judgment and killed some mortals we shouldn't have. _Completely_ by accident, too! "

_An accident?_ Ash thought, blood boiling as he tried to keep his Aura and his temper under control. _You call what you did to my friends an _accident?

"But then Darkrai blew the whole thing out of proportion, and things got a little out of hand, and we, ah, died. It was very unpleasant. I'd rather not talk about it," Articuno said vaguely. "Anyway, the world was destroyed soon after, but then it got fixed and everyone was resurrected, so we figured everything was fine, but rather then let bygones be bygones Darkrai made sure the higher-ups became aware of our little gaffe—even though it had been an honest little mistake, and they were just some stupid mortals, and mortals _all over the world_ were dying at the same time, so focusing on a couple we killed isn't really looking on the big picture, and besides, they probably came back anyway, so no lasting harm done, right?—and they _completely_ overreacted and yelled at us for being disgraces and that this was the last straw and a lot of other stuff I can't be bothered to remember, and then they sentenced us to death. Can you believe that? They were going to execute us! And not just that, make sure it's a _final_ death, so that we'd never be resurrected again, _ever_, and our souls would probably be absorbed back into Arceus so that we'd either become one with the all or cease to exist entirely, depending on your point of view. All that for a handful of humans that a couple of gods happened to be fond of who were going to get killed off by Annihilation anyway! If that's not the most blatant show of favoritism and injustice I've ever seen, then I don't know what is!"

As Articuno ranted, she didn't seem to notice how Ritchie was staring blankly into space as her words washed over him or how Ash was trembling, looking like he was going to explode at any second. Tiny did, however, and frantically dumped as much calm and love and compassion as he could into their bond, but Ash's growing rage was so great he barely acknowledged it. Tiny was starting to get really scared, because if Ash got any angrier, than there was a chance…

A chance that he might fulfill Oblivion's Shadow's worst fears, and become a Void Pokémon. Unaware of how much closer every second was bringing them to potential annihilation, a confused Cruise asked, "Death? But…you're still alive."

Articuno rolled her eyes. "That's because the higher-ups are such cowards that, even though they were perfectly happy sentencing us to death, they weren't willing to follow through on it. As divine and truly immortal beings, the concept of any of us dying, _really_ dying, and not being around later is…uncomfortable. It's not something most gods want on their consciences, because it reminds them that they might not be as permanent a fixture in reality as they'd like to think. So, instead of going through with it themselves, they decided to make it someone else's problem and proclaimed that our sentence would be carried out by the reincarnation of one of the mortals we'd accidentally attacked during the cataclysm, specifically the one who…well…kindasorta killed us."

Tiny gasped, Ritchie blinked, and Ash was so startled that he forgot his anger for an instant. "Wait, what? They said _who_ would kill you?"

"The guy we—completely by accident, remember!—attacked, and whose friends we killed," Articuno said. "And who killed us soon after."

"Wait, how…how can a mortal kill a god?" Ritchie asked, knocked out of his shock while Ash entered one of his own, astonished by this revelation. Tiny stared at Ash in amazement, sharing his disbelief.

"With a lot of effort and power…both of which that guy had, more than we ever expected. It…hurt. A lot." Articuno shivered. "And we knew it was going to hurt again, so we were understandably a little terrified. But as the centuries passed and our prophesized murderer never appeared, we started to relax and figured the guy had either forgotten about his vendetta with us or the higher ups had just been lying to try and scare us straight. And everything was hunky-dory again…aside from the fact that a significant portion of our powers had been stripped from us after we had been sentenced, and it didn't look like we'd get them back anytime soon. Regardless, we managed to compensate, and life seemed to be okay again…

"Until one day Oblivion's Shadow appeared and told us that the guy who was going to kill us had finally been reborn and, while he didn't remember his grudge against us at the moment, he was going to soon, and when he did he'd come for us. Naturally, we panicked a little—well, Moltres and Zapdos panicked, _I_ kept a cool head (She was lying, of course)—but the Shadow told us there was a way out of it, that if we joined his organization, turned against the planet and everyone we were supposed to protect, and allowed our bodies to be violated and pumped full of drugs that would give us incredible powers at the cost of our sanity and our very hearts, he would prevent our execution from happening. We thought it sounded fun and signed up without a second thought. We haven't regretted a minute of it since!"

"But-but you joined them mainly out of fear, didn't you?" Ritchie asked, desperately grabbing at straws.

"Mmm, yeah I suppose…but mainly for power. And a chance at revenge against the planet. We were never really fond of it to begin with. Not like any of you dustlings ever did anything good for us, right?" Articuno said, again shattering Ritchie's hopes. "Anyway, it's been nice rehashing my past, but I think I'm gonna kill you now."

"No," Ash said, something in his tone causing everyone to look at him in surprise.

"Eh? What do you mean?" Articuno asked.

"H-Hiori?" Ritchie asked.

"My name isn't Hiori," Ash said quietly.

"…It's not?" Ritchie asked in confusion. "But I thought-"

"I lied," Ash said. "I'm sorry Ritchie, but almost everything you know about me is a lie. I'm not a monk, I'm not from a mountain monastery, and my name isn't Hiori."

"Oh, and I'm not a monk or Chosen One either. And my name's not Rico," Tiny said, deciding now was as good a time as any to tell the truth.

"But…but then…who are you?" asked a shocked and hurt Ritchie.

"And why the Abyss should we care?" Articuno asked, bored.

"Because my name is Ash," Ash said.

Articuno frowned at this. "Ash? Why…why does that name sound-" She stiffened, face going pale in horror. "No."

"Yes," Ash said.

"YOU?" Articuno screamed.

"Me," Ash said.  
"Huh?" Ritchie said.

"What?" Cruise asked.

"Daddy!" Tiny said, not wanting to be left out in shouting one-word exclamations.

"Almost a thousand years ago, in one day Articuno and her siblings took almost everyone I cared about away from me," Ash said. "Those mortals she 'accidentally' attacked were my friends and I. And mark my words, it was no accident, or at least not an accident in the way she tells it. After it was made clear they'd screwed up, they decided to kill the rest of us anyway, along with Darkrai and Cresselia, to try and cover their tracks. But in doing so, they awakened something inside of me…something dark and dangerous and powerful beyond belief. I killed them that day…and now I find out that I've apparently been appointed to kill them again, this time for good." He grinned coldly, a grin that looked terrifyingly out of place on his face. "Can you guess how that makes me feel?"

"…H-Hiori…I mean, Ash…" Ritchie whispered in disbelief.

"Daddy…" Tiny said, wary of the negative vibes his father was emanating.

"N-no! NO! Oblivion's Shadow promised us we'd be safe! He said we'd never have to deal with you! He said he'd take care of everything!" Articuno shrieked, backpedaling as far from Ash as she could, nearly stepping off the peak in the process.

"Oblivion's Shadow was wrong," Ash said, stepping forward, Aura beginning to form around him. "And now he can't save you. Nobody can."

"A-Ash, wait, hold on one second!" Ritchie cried.

"Daddy, stop! You're scaring me!" Tiny yelled. Ash hesitated, his son's words breaking through to him. He grimaced, realizing that he was actually scaring himself…

But Articuno was scared the most of all. "No! Nononononono…I have to, I have to get out of here, I have to escape, I have to-" She clumsily started to take off, then paused, looking back at Ash with a determined look on her face. "No. No more running. No more hiding. No more jumping at shadows. You've haunted my nightmares for the last millennium, mortal. Ever since that day, I've lived in dread of what you might do to me, something even worse than what you did the last time. But you know what? I have power now, too. Power just as evil and terrible as yours was. I took that power when it was given to me because I believed it would make me strong enough to survive if and when you came for me. And now that you're finally here…let's see if it's what Oblivion's Shadow promised me it would be!" With a flap of her wings, she rose into the skies, throwing down a Blizzard to blow the heroes back and keep them from attacking or interrupting her. She bent her head down and plucked a small vial full of glowing purple liquid and shattered it in her beak, drinking down its contents.

The effects were instantaneous. She shrieked so loudly that the heavens themselves seemed to tremble, the snowclouds overhead swirling ominously above her and the mountain peak. The wind started blowing and the snow began falling harder, nearly knocking the four on the mountaintop back over the edge again as they struggled to keep standing. "Wh-what's going on?" Ritchie bellowed.

"She's ingested Shadow! That means…she's going into Hyper Mode!" Ash shouted.

"…And that's bad, right?" Ritchie asked worriedly.

"_Very!"_ Ash retorted as the mountain beneath their feet began shaking in reaction to Articuno's growing power.

"D-Daddy, I'm scared!" Cruise yelled, forcing himself into Ritchie's arms.

"Me too!" Tiny said, pinning himself to Ash's chest.

Articuno laughed long and loud, her voice growing deeper and darker. "You should be, little ones! _You should be!_" She screamed, and Shadow Aura exploded out from her, spreading out in every direction, shaping itself into the vague form of an enormous bird of prey mimicking Articuno's own avian form, with great wings and a lengthy tail and cruel talons and a beak. Inside the Aura bird, Articuno's beautiful blue feathers became a grim purple and black. Her legs grew longer and scalier, ice spikes erupting from the joints as her talons became longer and serrated. Her streamer-like tail split into three, fanning out behind her. A second, smaller set of wings made of pure ice grew beneath her regular wings, which had sprouted ice spikes from its joints and the ends of its feathers. A thick cluster of ice spikes burst out of her back, resembling a shell. Her eyes turned completely red as her head crest pointed forward and elongated to resemble a black spiked crown, and her beak stretched out, many fangs of ice growing from its sides. She shrieked with insane laughter and flapped her wings, generating a tremendous blast of ice and snow that billowed outwards in every direction.

"Eeeep," Cruise squeaked.

"This…this is…this is Hyper Mode?" Ritchie asked incredulously.

"Yes," Ash said, standing resolutely, Tiny hovering at his side. He stepped forward.

"Wh-what are you doing?" Ritchie asked in disbelief.

"Killing her," Ash said. "After all, that's what she said I'm supposed to do, isn't it?"

"But…but Ash, she's a _deity._ If you kill her, the consequences it could have to the balance of nature-" Ritchie protested.

"Would they be greater than the unbalance she's already caused by becoming evil? Or all the other countless imbalances she's created through pointless squabbles with her siblings?" Ash asked pointedly.

"…Good point," Ritchie admitted reluctantly.

"I thought as much," Ash said, turning away.

"Wait!" Ritchie said, finally seeming to regain control of his limbs and running after Ash.

Ash frowned. "What is it?"

"I'm coming with you!" Ritchie said.

"M-me too!" Cruise said, hiding his terror.

Ash frowned. "This isn't your fight. Articuno's beef is with me…just as mine is with her. You have no reason to take part in it."

"Wrong! I have _every_ reason!" Ritchie argued. "An Aura Guardian never lets a fellow Guardian go into battle alone! We're brothers in arms, Ash, united by destiny and the power of Aura! That means your enemies and problems are as good as mine, and what kind of a brother would I be if I let you fight something as crazy as _that_ on your own?"

Ash blinked in surprise, again dragged back from the rather bleak and self-centered mindset his rage tended to put him in. "Ritchie, I…you do realize that I'm going to _kill_ her, right? Not purify her or just defeat her?"

Ritchie hesitated for a moment. "I…don't really agree with that. It doesn't seem right. After all, we fight for justice, not revenge, don't we?"

"Yes, and apparently it's been divinely mandated that I'm supposed to kill Articuno. Isn't that justice, then?" Ash pointed out.

"…I guess," Ritchie said reluctantly. "I'm still not sure it's right, but…I suppose Articuno _does_ need to be put down, doesn't she? She's gone completely off the deep end, and she can't be allowed to run around with that kind of power. I'll help you stop her, but if you're really going to kill her…I'll leave that up to you. I want no part of it."

"Thank you," Ash said gratefully. "To be honest, I wouldn't want anyone else to have that sort of burden on their conscience." He sighed. "I guess this means I'm going to be a godkiller twice over…won't Leo be pleased?"

"Did you _really_ kill her before? And her siblings? And some other gods?" Ritchie asked in amazement.

"Yeah," Ash said.

"And you were _really_ alive a thousand years ago?" Ritchie pressed.

"Yeah. And so were you," Ash said.

"Huh?" Ritchie said incredulously.

"Um, Daddy…" Tiny said anxiously.

"Hmm? Oh, right," Ash said as the powered-up Articuno started flying towards them, the Shadow bird surrounding her mimicking her movements precisely. "I'll explain later. Let's take care of this birdbrain first, okay?"

"Okay," Ritchie said, getting into a fighting stance as Cruise hovered protectively next to him. "Um, Ash? One other thing."

"Yeah?" Ash asked, not taking his eyes off Articuno as she approached.

"Both of you mentioned something about you using some kind of…_evil_ power to kill her back then. You aren't…going to do something like that now, are you?" Ritchie asked.

Ash hesitated. "…I really hope not," he admitted. "But…if I start to lose it, if I become too lost in rage, if my Aura starts turning black, there's something you can do. Something to stop me."

"What?" Ritchie asked.

"You can kill me," Ash said.

"What?" Ritchie asked, horrified.

"Daddy!" Tiny cried in alarm.

"Ash, what are you talking about? I can't kill you!" Ritchie protested.

"If I lose control of my power, you're going to _have_ to kill me, because if you don't, I'll kill you, Cruise, Tiny, everyone on your team, everyone on _my_ team, and everyone in the town below," Ash said seriously. "I _can't_ let that happen. Do you understand, Ritchie?"

"I…y-yeah, I think so," Ritchie said nervously.

"Good," Ash said, hoping Ritchie would keep to that.

"…Ash? Just what _are_ you?" Ritchie asked finally, looking at the other Lucario with more than a little fear in his eyes.

Ash smiled resignedly. "I'm…complicated."

"Is there a complicated reason for why Articuno hasn't gotten to us yet?" Cruise asked.

"Talking is a free action," Tiny said.

"Oh, of course," Cruise said. Ritchie grimaced.

"I will freeze the blood in your veins, strip your flesh, feast on your entrails, and use your bones to make my nest!" Articuno howled, finally reaching them.

"Yeah? We'll see about that!" Ritchie said.

"You said I'm fated to kill you. Let's see whether this prophecy about me is as true as any of the others!" Ash shouted.

With that, the Lucarios charged at Articuno, their Pupitars flying beside them, ready to fight the mad goddess to the finish.

At a point around roughly the same altitude, if not higher, another high-stakes high-powered battle was taking place as Lily and Fantina waged war against Bellum. The ice witch was literally in her element, summoning winged ice elementals to harry them, generating gusts of Icy Wind, hurling lethal spells and curses interspersed between Blizzards and Ice Shards and Ominous Wind. The two good witches were far from defenseless, however, as they conjured up fire elementals, fireballs and wheels of flame, counterspells and countercurses, along with their own powerful attacks. "Isn't this lovely, Fantina?" Bellum cackled as she created scythe-wielding ice duplicates of herself and sent them flying at Lily and Fantina. "You and I, two of the greatest sorceresses in the world, throwing everything we have at each other in an attempt to prevail, watching from on high as a pair of armies fighting in our names slaughters each other? It's almost like being gods! What could be more fun than this?"

"I can zink of a few zings," Fantina said as she spat fireballs at the ice clones, destroying them. Next to her, Lily formed a ring of Shadow Balls which she flung at Bellum, the dark orbs splitting apart to fly all over the place before converging on the Froslass.

Bellum, without even looking at Lily or the Shadow Balls, emitted a burst of Ominous Wind that blasted the Shadow Balls away from her, a couple of them flying back towards Fantina and Lily. The elder witch nullified one of the Balls with a thought, while the less-experienced Lily yelped and narrowly managed to fly out of the way. Bellum gestured, and several hundred Ice Shards materialized and flew towards Fantina and Lily like ice daggers. Fantina summoned an equal number of fireballs to counter the Ice Shards, the twin volleys colliding and exploding. Fantina's form blurred slightly and suddenly there were two of her, though one was slightly transparent and the other had a blank look on its face. The transparent one winked at Lily and faded away, while the other one's eyes glowed, firing Psywaves into the smoke caused by the explosion. Realizing what Fantinas was up to, Lily created a Substitute of her own, though it wasn't nearly as sophisticated as Fantina's and so was incapable of attacking, and phased out of view, following her mentor to the other side of the smoke cloud, where Bellum was deflecting the Psywave and generating an Icy Wind to blow away the cloud so she could strike. She grinned, spotting her two opponents, and prepared to cast a curse. That was when the invisible Lily and Fantina cast spells of their own, the magical bolts streaking at Bellum…

Who glowed and exploded in a flash of runes, a surge of dark magic washing out to consume their spells and hurl them back at them, knocking them back into semi-corporeality. As they grunted in pain, the real Bellum appeared, cackling as she formed a Shadow Ball in either hand. "Come now, did you really think I'd fall for an old trick like that?" Laughing, she hurled the Shadow Balls into the air, the spheres splitting and raining down on the two witches. Fantina cast a shield spell to protect them both, which was probably a good thing because Bellum followed up the Shadow Balls with an Ice Breath that turned parts of the air solid from its coldness, covering the barrier they had surrounded themselves with in ice. "You're getting slow, Fantina! Time was you would have anticipated such a trick by now! You really _have_ lost your edge!"

"Not quite," Fantina murmured under her breath. "Lily, open a portal, please?"

"Certainly," Lily said. "Where to?"

"Behind Bellum," Fantina said, gathering power.

"Not coming out, are you? Are you truly so terrified of me? Very well, then I'll _make_ you face me!" Bellum said, preparing a spell strong enough to crack open the sphere…and froze, sensing a portal opening behind her. A portal with a _very_ familiar energy signature…before she could register this, an extremely powerful energy blast shot through the portal, and Bellum had to quickly form a shield of ice by congealing several of the hailstones falling around her, just barely managing to deflect the blast. However, at the same time the ice sphere shattered and a tremendous stream of fire shot at her. Bellum's other hand shot out, familiar incantations slipping easily from her mouth as she formed another shield, this one made of energy rather than ice. She marshaled her strength as the twin blasts pushed against her, preparing to retaliate…

And was surprised when Fantina's apprentice appeared right in front of her, hesitated for a split second, an extremely anxious expression on her face, and finally hurled a flame wheel into Bellum's face, right between her two shields, which were hemispherical and so did not completely cover her body. Startled, Bellum, tried to bring the shields together, and succeeded…one millisecond _after_ the flame wheel passed between them, causing it to explode in a confined environment and not only do extra damage to Bellum but shatter her shields, allowing the other two blasts to strike her as well.

Bellum screamed in agony as she was flung back from the blast, flying right into a raging dragon of flames Fantina had conjured up behind her, the elemental beast slamming its jaws shut around her. Moments later it froze solid and shattered, an infuriated (and badly burnt) Bellum rising from its remains, the ice fragments swirling around her in fury, only to find herself assailed by fireballs and energy beams fired at her from _six_ Fantinas that materialized on all sides of her. Bellum again formed a shield, combining and enlarging the ice fragments, then pushed them outwards, repelling the attacks and slamming into and dispelling the Substitutes. She fired an Ice Beam at the Misdreavus nun who had _dared_ to attack her, only for _that_ Substitute to vaporize as the real one and Fantina appeared on either side of her and let her have it with a double blast of fire. Bellum relied on her Snow Cloak ability, turning transparent and floating back so that the fireballs passed her and exploded between the two ghosts, rematerializing and flinging Ice Shards at both of them as they flinched from the blast. Fantina managed to shatter the Shard sent at her with a thought, but the Misdreavus was not so lucky, and lost her wimple as she tried to dodge the Shard, the icicle dagger ripping it off and causing it to vanish into the swirling fog, allowing her long hair to flow out. She cried in alarm…

And that alarm turned into fear when Bellum lunged at her, arm drawn back to strike her. Fantina yelled in surprise and fired a Dark Pulse at Bellum, blasting her away from Lily. "Are you all right?" the Mismagius asked as she flew over to Lily.

"I-I'm okay," the shaken Lily said, clearly anything but. The look of pure rage and hatred on Bellum's face…the way her arm had been raised to hit her…it brought back far too many bad memories and old fears.

"You won't be for long!" Bellum cried, using her cloning trick to generate dozens of duplicates which floated in a loose sphere around the duo, each of them charging a different and equally lethal dangerous spell or attack.

"Stay back!" Fantina warned Lily as she used the same trick to create a smaller, tighter sphere of replicas surrounding the Mismagius. Each of them touched one of the extensions hanging down from their bodies to their foreheads and started chanting the spell for Lucky Chant. The gems on their bodies started glowing pink and mystical crimson tentacles shot out of them, deflecting the attacks and spells the Bellum duplicates flung at them. The Fantina clones followed up the Chant with their own wave of attacks, firing Dark Pulses, Psybeams, fireballs, and numerous other potent spells. The Bellum clones shattered in a series of tremendous and fantastic explosions…

Revealing the true Bellum, hands raised over her head as she finished saying the incantation for the curse she had been preparing, the orb of evil glyphs and runes throbbing ominously over her head. Fantina frowned in puzzlement as her duplicates vanished. The curse didn't look familiar to her…which was odd, because she thought she knew all of Bellum's spells. Somewhat uncertain, she started casting a counter-curse…

Only for a horrified Lily to interrupt her. "No, don't! It's a trap!"

Fantina stopped her incanting in surprise. "A trap? What do you-"

"DIE!" Bellum screamed, flinging her curse at them, the wicked sphere leaving a trail of darkness behind it as it seemed to rend the very fabric of space and time in its path.

"No! Not this time!" Lily cried, shouting a series of phrases Fantina had never heard before at the top of her voice. A series of glyphs manifested and interlocked to create a sphere surrounding them, which the curse struck and was absorbed into, causing the sphere to take on the same consistency as the curse's runes were added to it. With a crackle of dark magic, the sphere exploded, its constituent runes flying towards Bellum. Startled, the Froslass quickly created a Substitute and used Snow Cloak to fly back out of range…but even that didn't stop her from shrieking in agony as the glyphs struck her doppleganger and exploded, a surge of powerful magic shooting back up the Substitute's faint mystical link to her and ravaging her from within, forcing her to use all her power and will to keep her ectoplasm from dissolving completely.

"What…what was zat?" an astonished Fantina asked Lily, who was panting for breath, her hair mussed and wild from the exertion she had just made.

"That curse was a trap…it was specifically keyed to your magic, so no matter what counter or defense you used, it would still strike and destroy you in an unbelievably agonizing way as it tore your very soul apart," Lily explained breathlessly. (Well, she was usually breathless since she didn't actually _breathe_, but you know what I mean.) "She's been working on it for years, and only recently managed to perfect it. Its only weakness is the counterspell I used…anything else would just shatter before its might."

"I see…zank you, Sister. You 'ave saved us bozh zis day," Fantina said, shocked by how close she had been to destruction. To think that Bellum had been plotting a curse as terrible as that in secret, and she had never known! Yet another thing that told her she had not been as on top of her nemesis as she would have liked…

"Ha…hahahaha…ahahahahahaha!" Bellum cackled, gasping as she tried to fight the pain wracking her body. "Excellent…excellent! Just as I thought! You have confirmed all my suspicions…" She cast a weak spell, and Lily gasped as the glamour Fantina had put over her vanished. "It's good to see you again…daughter!"

"N-no!" Lily cried in horror.

"But 'ow did you know?" Fantina shouted in astonishment.

"You've never made it a secret that you wanted to find and liberate my daughter, especially since part of the reason I created her in the first place was to torment you!" Bellum sneered. "Which is why I found it suspicious that you would just happen to have picked up an apprentice who was a Misdreavus not too long after Lily escaped from me, _especially_ since you've _never_ taken an apprentice other than one of your daughters before, for fear that I or one of your other enemies would target them? That was my first clue. The next was the spells and attacks Lily used against me. I know my daughter's moves intimately, since I taught most of them to her, and I was pretty sure I recognized them when I saw them, _especially_ when she made that portal." She grinned cruelly. "But the real clincher was when she countered my curse. _Nobody_ outside my family knows about that curse, since I have been working on it in secret for ages, which means that for someone to know not only how it worked, but how to _defeat_ it, that someone would have to be very close to me. Close enough to have seen me work on the curse, and know how to stop it. And since Marianne's still loyal to me and in the town below, that leaves only one possible suspect…my other daughter. The one who'd run away. The one who'd _betrayed_ me. And we _all_ know who that daughter is, don't we, Lily?"

"…Me…" Lily whispered tremulously, more terrified than she had ever thought possible.

"That's right. Oh, you have no idea how much I've been looking forward to this…" Bellum crooned. "You have no _idea_ how angry I was when you ran away. I even took it out on your sister for a little while…which in retrospect wasn't very fair of me, now was it? But now I finally have you again, and if you think you had it bad _before_, just _wait_ until you see the punishments I've been planning while you were away!"

Lily was shivering so much from raw, unadulterated terror that it looked as if she'd lose all coherency and melt into a puddle of ectoplasm at any moment. Before that happened, Fantina stepped in, floating in front of Lily to shield her from Bellum's malevolent gaze. "Zat shall not 'appen as long as I am 'ere, Bellum! I promised Lily zat so long as I existed, she would never need to fear you again…and I shall do whatever it takes to make certain you never lay anozzer finger on her!"

Bellum grinned. "So long as you exist? Well, that's an easy enough matter to resolve, isn't it?" She gasped. "And oh! Lily, if you're here, then that must mean…" She started laughing again. "That those so-called 'friends' of yours, Team Aurabolt, must be here too! I _thought_ some of those fools who agreed to throw their lives away against the forces of Niflheim looked familiar! I knew I'd seen them before!" She frowned. "But why would you all be here, unless…ahhhh, of _course!_ Someone on the train must possess one of the Star Badges! And I'm betting that someone is _you_, isn't it, Fantina?" Fantina ground her teeth and said nothing, which was all the answer Bellum needed. She started laughing raucously. "Oh, oh, this is too rich! I can't believe this! After all the bad luck I've been having lately, Giratina herself must have smiled on me for me to receive a gift this great! A chance to eliminate all of my enemies in one full swoop and redeem myself in Oblivion's Shadow's eyes…you, my daughter, Team Aurabolt, and the vampires you stole from me! If I destroy you all and retrieve your Star Badge, the Shadow will reward me greatly and overlook my past failures!"

"Zere's one problem wiz zat, Bellum…two, actually!" Fantina snarled. "Ze first is zat ze Badge is not 'ere, it is at my estate in Fichina, where you will never get it. Ze ozzer…is zat we 'ave no intention of letting you kill us! Isn't zat right, Lily?"

Lily started. "Wh-what? Oh…um…y-yes, I suppose…"

Fantina looked at her sharply. "Lily! She intends to kill us all! She wants to take your precious friends, ze only people who 'ave ever showed you kindness…ze people who freed you and taught you what it means to love! Are you going to let her do zat?"

Lily's eyes widened in surprise. "I…no. No. NO! I-I won't! I won't let you hurt them!" Lily shouted, shocking herself with the amount of force and determination she was able to muster. _D-did I just say that?_

_Your friends are your strength, Lily. They always have been,_ B said.

Lily was not the only one who looked surprised by this outburst. "What's this? Have you actually managed to develop a _spine?_ How strange, considering you don't have any bones. Hmmph. I don't think I like how hanging out with those ruffians has changed you, Lily. I'm going to have to torture it out of you…after I kill them, of course."

"No, Mother! They're my friends! I won't let you kill them!" Lily shouted.

"Well done, Lily!" Fantina said admiringly.

"You're seriously standing up to me?" Bellum asked incredulously. "This…this won't do. No, this won't do at all. Your so-called friends have been a bad influence on you, Lily. It looks like I'm going to have to take…_extreme_ measures to make sure they no longer poison your thoughts or give you false hope of an unlife beyond me."

Fantina frowned, on guard. "'Extreme' measures? What are you talking about?"

Bellum cackled. "Come now, Fantina…you didn't think some measly trolls, wolves, and dragons were _all_ the creatures Niflheim has to muster, did you?"

Below, the ground shook, then stilled. Shook, then stilled. Shook, then stilled. The trolls, wolves, dragons, and ice elementals paused in their fighting, exchanged looks of pure horror, and abruptly ran away, leaving the confused warriors behind. "What was that about?" wondered a perplexed Silvia.

"Ha! We must have routed the beasts! We showed them they can't mess with the likes of us!" Goldor boasted.

"No," Briney said, a look of what could almost be mistaken for _worry_ flickering over his face. "No, that's not it at all."

The doll family looked at him in puzzlement. "What are you talking about, Captain?" Silvia asked in concern.

"I mean that I saw in their heads why they were running. And it's bad news. _Very_ bad news," Briney said.

Elsewhere, Sasha stiffened in horror, staring off into the distance. "No…it can't be! This presence, this danger, it's…!"

_Really bad news,_ Darkrai agreed.

Atop their steed, Pikachu and Sparky exchanged worried looks. "Why do I have a bad feeling about this?" Pikachu asked.

"Because something bad is coming?" Sparky groaned.

"No doubt," Pikachu agreed unhappily.

"Uh, Zippo, are these vibrations what I think they are?" Leo asked as the ground kept shaking periodically, the gaps in between tremors growing shorter and shorter.

Zippo grimaced. "Without a doubt, dudette. Without a doubt."

Cherry closed her eyes in dread. "I knew this was coming…I only hope we'll all be ready for it…we _must_ be, or else…"

The shaking grew stronger and stronger. Rumbling could be heard off in the distance. And then…they came. Out of the fog and snow, a group of forms so massive they defied comprehension appeared, so tall they almost rivaled the surrounding mountains and required everyone to tilt their necks _way _back to get a proper look at them. Rose and Happy gawked in astonishment as they stared at the oncoming creatures. "No…what…what are those?" Happy cried.

"They're…they're even bigger than I'd ever imagined!" Rose whispered.

"…Yeah, I think I'm gonna need a bigger camera to get a good picture of those," Todd said faintly.

"I…think that's a bit out of my pay grade," Looker said in astonishment.

"Oooohh…neat!" Max said.

"If I manage to kill one of those, how many does it count as?" George asked.

"Still just one!" Sam said firmly.

"Oh…oh my!" Silvia cried.

"C-Captain Briney, you can defeat one of those, can't you?" Goldor asked anxiously.

"Of course he can! He's Captain Briney! He can do anything!...Right?" Buck asked.

Briney grimaced. "I…really, really hope so, lad."

"Hey! Where are you all going!" Rebecca shouted as her elementals all ran away or vanished. "Come back here! What's going-" Her spirits told her why. "Oh. Oh dear."

"Um…Master, can my cloak protect me from that?" Sasha asked.

…_I have _no _idea_,Darkrai admitted.

"It's just one thing after another, isn't it?" Pikachu asked miserably.

Sparky sighed. "It looks that way…"

"So…coooooool…" Leo gasped.

"Yeah…in a, 'holy crap, we're all gonna die!' kind of way," Zippo said.

"I guess, but still cool," Leo said.

"Oh yeah, totally," Zippo agreed.

"…The Abyss do I kill something like that?" Lu asked incredulously.

"That…might be a bit of a challenge…" Captain Salty murmured.

"Well…this should prove to be an interesting fight," Bruno said, crossing his arms, a slow grin forming on his face.

"…Do, uh, do you think we could drink that thing's blood enough to make it submit to us?" Vladimir asked.

"I think one drop of that thing's blood is gonna be enough to bloat us up like a Drifblim," Dean said. "So…no." Bob whimpered and hid behind Vladimir.

"_Sacre bleu!_" Bow cried incredulously. "And I zought _you_ were bad enough!" she said to Marianne, who buzzed angrily and tried to crush her with her massive fists, trying to prove she was still plenty bad.

Dawn and Palmer hesitated in their fight with Paul. "Do you get the feeling we might be needed somewhere else?" the Dragonite asked.

_Yes,_ Dawn said.

"Oh well, too bad we're busy here. They'll have to do without us," Palmer said.

"GRAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" Paul bellowed, drawing their attention back to him and resuming the battle.

"Holy _shit,_" Articuno swore, pausing in her relentless pursuit to kill Ash.

"That's…that's…really big," Ash said faintly.

"You know, I think I've lost my misgivings towards fighting Articuno," Ritchie said faintly. "She may be a goddess, but at least she's not as big as one of _those!_"

"…Does this sort of thing happen regularly around you guys?" Cruise asked Tiny.

Tiny sighed. "You have _no idea._"

"Hmm…my ancestor was the first of our family to defeat a troll with his bare hands. And now I'm going to be the first of my family to fight a frost giant. This will certainly turn me into a legend for future generations, won't it?" Butler said.

"Assuming we live long enough to _make_ future generations…" Diane said as she stared up at the very aptly named frost giants.

As the name implied, they were absolutely enormous, so big they barely managed to fit into the valley at all, having to press against each other to squeeze through the surrounding mountains—some of which were actually _smaller_ than them!—so that they could all make it to the town. There were only three of them, but with something that big, three was all that was needed. They were humanoid in shape with thick blue skin much like the trolls and shaggy white hair growing from their wrinkled flesh. Their legs were thicker and wider than their upper bodies, probably to support the body weight of such a massive creature, with feet so big that a single step would probably crush a sizeable chunk of the town. Their faces were vaguely humanoid, but it was hard to tell beneath all the white hair and straggly growth covering their heads, along with the tusks sprouting from their mouths and noses. They were carrying very primitive clubs that looked to be made of rock or giant ice crystals that were probably very good at killing things due to the fact that they were so darn _big._ They gazed down at Dusty Ditch, beady eyes screwed up as they tried to make out the (very) tiny figures running around in the streets below.

"No…zis…zis cannot be!" gasped a horrified Fantina as Bellum laughed and laughed.

"How…how are they supposed to beat something like that?" Lily shouted.

"That's the beauty of it…they can't!" Bellum Murkrowed. "Go forth, my mighty giants! Destroy this town and all who still live in it! Crush and stomp and smash until nothing remains! I don't want a single house left unbroken; a single street left intact, a single soul left alive! Leave nothing behind to show that they were ever here!" The giants bellowed in affirmation, their cries shaking the ground, causing several buildings to collapse, and triggering quite a few avalanches. Slowly and ponderously, they stepped forwards, as if inclined to simply walk all over the town, since it was doubtful they would need to exert much more effort than that to fulfill their orders.

"NO!" Lily cried. She flew towards the giants, not sure what she would do but knowing she had to stop them, had to save her friends…

And Bellum got in her way. "Not so fast, my pretty. We have unfinished business, you and I. You and Fantina aren't going anywhere…not until I'm through with you!"

"By the time _we're _through with you, there won't be enough of you left for Oblivion's Shadow to punish for failing to destroy us!" Lily shouted back, again surprised by her own vehemence. _H-how am I doing this? Where am I getting the strength to talk back to her like this?_

_As I said…your friends are your power,_ B said. _They mean the whole world to you. They are so important to you that you won't let anything, not even your mother, get in the way of your helping them!_

…_You're…you're right, B…you're absolutely right!_ An astonished Lily realized. _My friends need me…and so long as I know that, then…then there's nothing I can't do!_

Bellum seemed to be less pleased by Lily's newfound courage. "You've never behaved like this before. It's clear that being away from me has given you _ideas._ And that won't do, no, that won't do at all!"

"What won't do is you making Lily your slave again!" Fantina shouted, floating up beside Lily. "She is willing to stand against you…and so am I! Togezzer, we will defeat you and save her friends, and end your Fimbulvinter once and for all!"

"You think so, do you?" Bellum sneered. "Very well, then. If you are so foolish as to challenge me here, where my power is strongest, go ahead! I will relish wringing every last scream from your tortured bodies as my giants crush everyone you hold dear!"

"Ze only one who will be screaming is you, Bellum, as your plans go down in flames yet again!" Fantina said, mustering her power. "Are you ready, Lily?"

Lily nodded fervently, a determined look on her face. "I will fight her with every last ounce of magic in my body to protect the people who are precious to me!"

Fantina smiled warmly. "It very well might take zat…but let's go! Togezzer, zere is nozing Bellum can do zat can stop us!"

And as they prepared to prove that in what promised to be an incredible magical battle unlike any the world had ever seen, down below the few remaining people in the train, which had been left alone when all the besieging monsters desperately ran off to get out of town and save their skins, watched anxiously as the frost giants stomped closer and closer. "Look at the size of those things…" the Abra waiter murmured.

"Can they defeat those things? Can _anyone?_" the Gastly conductor asked.

"And is there some way we can help?" the Haunter guard asked.

The Ampharos engineer shook her head helplessly. "I don't know. Our weapons might be able to do some damage if one of those things gets closer, but I doubt our defensive spells will protect us from being stepped on. They're just so _big._ This train was never built with something of that size in mind."

"Then I guess we have to hope that the passengers out there can handle it…" the Grumpig guard said with a sigh. "And to think, _we're_ the ones who are supposed to be protecting them, not the other way around!"

"If anyone can do it, it's them," the Magneton engineer said.

The Aron engineer nodded in agreement. "After all, they're some of the world's greatest magicians…and from what we've seen, the others can hold their own pretty well too."

"But in the end, even that might not be enough to save them…" the Ampharos said, turning to the spell-circle where images of Fantina, Lily, and Rebecca could still be seen chanting and pouring energy into the ball of fire suspended above them, which had grown significantly bigger and had what looked almost like some kind of _fetus_ barely visible inside of it. "I hope whatever they're summoning, it's strong enough to help us…and that it'll get here soon. There isn't much time left…for any of us."

And while the people on the train prayed and the people in the town prepared for a fight unlike any other, Brodie, who was still trapped in his binding spell, sat staring out the windows and wondering if maybe being stuck in here wasn't a blessing in disguise. After all, so long as he was in here he didn't have to worry about Bellum or all the monsters…but now that the frost giants had shown up, sooner or later one was probably going to step on him. On the plus side, the train would be destroyed and he'd be free, but on the down side he'd be squashed flat and possibly stuck to the bottom of a giant's foot, a prospect which did not particularly please him. He sighed. "Mon, not having any control over what's happening blows…" His stomach grumbled, and he grimaced. "As does nobody feeding me in the last several hours. What, did they just forget I'm here or something? After all the good info I gave them last night? Sheesh, some gratitude. And I thought the good guys didn't torture people. Oh well…it's still better than what Bellum would do to me." His stomach growled louder, and he winced. "Though not by much…"

…

Meanwhile, in the Secretive Forest…

"So, uh, Aaron," Latios said awkwardly. "You have a good time with Krysta last night?"

"Yes," Aaron said, glancing at the Eon dragon. "Not that it's any of your business."

Latios blushed. "Sorry, it's just…you know I'm a big fan of yours, and I'm really glad that you found a womon you can be happy with who isn't a crazy fangirl or something like that. The two of you are now totally my OTP, just so you know."

Aaron frowned. "OTP?"

"One True Pairing," Latias, who was floating next to Latios, explained. "He means it as a compliment. It's a good thing."

"Oh. Um…thank you, Latios," Aaron said. Latios had to refrain from squealing, overjoyed that he'd said something his favorite Aura Guardian had appreciated. Latias shook her head in amusement.

The Eon siblings, Aaron, Rayquaza, and Raiki and Sabrina (who'd insisted on joining them) were walking through the Secretive Forest in search of Zorra. Latias had brought Aaron back from Mt. Freeze and Krysta's lair earlier that morning, and after regrouping and debriefing they'd all headed out to the woods near Pokémon Square to find the elusive Zoroark. So far, they weren't having much luck, but then again, Zorra _was_ an illusionist, so she might have been staring them right in the face and they'd never have noticed, something that neither Aaron or the group's Psychics felt comfortable with.

"So, uh, Aaron…you and Zorra go back a ways, huh?" Raiki asked.

"We were…close, yes," Aaron said.

"How close?" Raiki pressed, still somewhat miffed that there was so much about the ten years his best friend had been gone for that he didn't know about.

"We were very good friends. Almost more. But I chose Krysta over her, and…well, that was the end of it," Aaron said awkwardly.

"I imagine that will make today's reunion…interesting," Sabrina, who also knew what it felt like to be rejected by Aaron, said blithely. Aaron grimaced.

"Why did you choose Krysta over her, anyway?" Latios asked.

Aaron grimaced. "Do we really need to talk about this? Zorra might be listening."

"You think so?" Latios looked around warily. "I don't see or sense anything…"

"Which doesn't really mean anything, if she's really as powerful as Aaron or Krysta said she was," Rayquaza pointed out.

Latios shuddered. "Yeah, that really creeps me out."

"I don't suppose you have any idea where in this forest she is?" Raiki asked.

Aaron shook his head. "Even if I did, it wouldn't matter, she could simply shift the trees and the path so that we would be walking in circles, or completely miss whatever spot we're aiming for."

"Then how are we supposed to find her?" Rayquaza asked.

"We're not," Aaron said. "She's going to find us. She knows we're here, and possibly _why _we're here, so sooner or later she'll show herself."

"…That's it? Really? That's the best plan you've got?" Latios asked in surprise.

"I have a better one on how to convince her to help us," Aaron said.

"It had better be, to make her forgive you for breaking her heart," Sabrina said coldly. Aaron grimaced again.

_Laying it on a bit much, aren't you?_ Latias asked telepathically.

_I wasn't happy when he broke my heart, but I've done my best to live with it. But now that I know this isn't the _first_ time he's made a womon feel like this…dammit, doesn't he realize the effect he has on people?_ Sabrina asked angrily. _Would it have really been that hard for him to take a second wife? Or…maybe a third?_

_Lucarios are typically monogamous,_ Latias replied.

_That's a lifestyle choice, not a concrete rule!_ Sabrina said. _Couldn't he have broken tradition for someone he really cared about, like he said he did for Zorra? And yet he chose only one despite his feelings for both…oh, that's _so_ noble! Wouldn't his ancestors be proud of how many people he's hurt by sticking fixedly to convention?_

_There's more to it than that,_ Latias said.

Sabrina frowned. _What do you mean?_

_Aaron will explain when we find Zorra,_ Latias said.

_IF we find Zorra, you mean. Considering she's probably majorly peeved towards him, and can apparently hide herself so well none of us can find her even with our super-senses, why should she reveal herself?_ Latios asked.

_Because no matter how angry she still is at Aaron, a part of her still loves him,_ Latias said. _And that part will want to confront him. Isn't that right, Sabrina?_

The Xatu hesitated. _…Yes. Yes, I suppose it is. It's what I would do…_

_Well, I hope you're right,_ Latios said dubiously.

Naturally, she was. Without warning, an unfamiliar Pokémon appeared right in front of them, and I mean it _literally_ appeared, out of thin air. Latias, Latios, Sabrina, and Aaron all stirred at this, because they had not sensed the Pokémon's approach…and even though it was here now, right before their eyes, they were _still_ having difficulty sensing it. "Whoa," Raiki said in surprise, reaching for his sword. "Where'd that come from?"

"And what is it?" Rayquaza asked in alarm.

"I am a Zorua," said the newcomer, a slate-gray vulpine Pokémon with red and black accents on its head and feet. It had triangular ears with gray insides and a large whorled scruff of fur on top of its head tipped with red. Its blue eyes had no pupils, and had red eyelids and circular 'eyebrow' markings. It had a ruff of black fur around its neck and its limbs were tipped with red. Its tail was long and bushy, and small fangs could be seen developing in its mouth. "One of the rulers of this forest. The other ruler says you are not welcome, and warns you to leave at once lest you be trapped in a nightmare for all time."

"Yep, sounds like a jilted ex-girlfriend all right," Raiki said, nodding knowingly. Aaron and Rayquaza sweatdropped.

"Why should we listen to you? You're probably just an illusion!" Latios said.

"Latios!" Latias hissed.

"You think I'm an illusion, huh?" the Zorua asked with a smirk.

"Well, since I can only see you with my eyes, and can't smell you or feel you psychically, I think it's a fair assumption," Latios said as Latias facepalmed and everyone else subtly moved a few steps away from him.

The Zorua opened its mouth and started forming a sphere of red and black energy. Latios frowned, but didn't budge despite Latias telepathically screaming at him to; sure it was just a bluff. Then the little fox spat the ball at him, colliding and exploding with a tremendous shockwave that smashed Latios into a tree so hard it fell over. "Waaaaugh!"

"Oh, Brother…" Latias groaned.

"Well, I guess that answers that question," Sabrina said.

The Zorua snickered at Latios's misfortune. "Still think I'm an illusion?"

"I humbly withdraw my previous statement," Latios rasped as Latias healed him, shaking her head pityingly. "But then why couldn't I sense you?"

"Silly dragon. Illusions don't always have to be visual," the Zorua sneered.

"Then I assume the only reason that I can see you is because you're allowing me too?" Aaron asked.

"That's right!" the Zorua said.

Aaron nodded. "It seems that Zorra has taught you well."

"Well, I _am_ her son, so of course she'd teach me everything she knows," the Zorua said.

Raiki blinked. "Wait a minute…her son? But…Aaron, you don't think-"

"He's too young," Aaron said curtly. "And besides, we never…I mean, she wanted to, but I wasn't quite…well…" He rubbed the back of his head Mareepishly as Raiki and Latios tried not to snicker. "Um…anyway, I don't suppose your mother would be interested in seeing me? We go way back."

"What part of 'trapped in a nightmare for all time' did you not understand?" the Zorua asked flatly.

"You really did a number on her, huh, Aaron?" Raiki whistled.

Rayquaza nodded. "I think you could have let her down a bit more gently."

"Can we not talk about this right now?" Aaron hissed. He coughed and turned back to the Zorua. "Look, I know I hurt your mother very badly. And I'm sorry, more than you can possibly imagine. But I really need to talk to her. I need her help. All of us do. I want to make amends for what I did to her—you have no idea how much I want to—but that is only secondary to the matter I bring to her, a matter that goes beyond our mutual past and could possibly determine the future of all of Kanjohenn. Something that could determine _your_ future, too. Would she be willing to speak to me for that reason, no matter how much she hates me for what I did to her?"

The Zorua frowned, considering. "…All right. I'll get her. I know the matter you're referring to, we've been watching Pokémon Square for a while and know all about it."

"Wait, you know?" Rayquaza asked in surprise.

"Yeah, we've been watching Pokémon Square for ages. Why else do you think we live so close to town…and why there's been so little trouble in this neck of the woods for years?" the Zorua asked.

"…Well, I suppose that explains why we never have to send Rescue Teams out to find people lost here anymore," Raiki murmured.

"And why every group of barbarians that stumbles out of it was insane with fear and all their hair had gone white prematurely," Sabrina commented.

"…She has been keeping watch on the town all this time?" Aaron asked in amazement. "But why…why would she…"

"What I want to know is _how_," said a confused Latios. "I mean, Secretive Forest is pretty close to Pokémon Square, but the town's still miles away! What, do you guys sneak in while invisible or something?"

"Sometimes, but mainly we watch via illusionary cameras," the Zorua said.

"…Illusionary cameras?" asked a confused Aaron.

"Yeah, we make an illusionary television that receives an illusionary signal from illusionary cameras we've placed all over town that none of you have noticed because we don't want you to. We also use them to steal your cable," the Zorua said.

They stared at him incredulously. "Oh my," Sabrina said finally.

Raiki snapped his fingers. "Aha! So _that's_ why our cable bill always seems too high! I knew something weird was going on there!" Everyone facefaulted.

"That's, um, an interesting use for illusions," Rayquaza said.

"Yeah, I didn't know they could be used that way," Latios said.

The Zorua smirked. "A good enough illusionist can do more than party tricks…they can make you question the nature of reality itself."

"…Why…would you do all that? Why go to so much effort?" asked an amazed Aaron.

"Isn't it obvious? She's doing it all for you," the Zorua said.

Aaron started. "What?"

"She's really angry at you—and really, who can blame her?—but no matter how much she says otherwise, she doesn't hate you. I don't think she ever could," the Zorua said. And with that bombshell, he vanished.

"Wait!" Aaron yelled belatedly. "What…what did he mean by that?"

"That there's still hope, possibly," Latias said, drifting up next to him.

Aaron sighed. "If that is the case, then…I hope she will be willing to listen to what I have to say. It's something I should have said a long time ago…"

"Whatever it is, I don't want to hear it," someone said curtly.

Aaron's head shot up in astonishment and everyone jumped in surprise, startled that yet again an unfamiliar Pokémon had appeared in their midst. "Zorra!" the Lucario gasped.

"Dammit, could they stop doing that? At my age, I could get a heart attack or something!" Raiki complained.

"That would certainly be an ironic way to go, wouldn't it?" Sabrina snarked. She frowned as she stared at the newcomer. "So…this is her…"

Zorra was, as stated several times before, a Zoroark. She was a duskily attractive bipedal grayish-brown vulpine Pokémon with red and black accents that was at least two feet taller than Aaron. She had a pointed snout and ears, the insides of which were red. She also had some red rimming her eyes and mouth. She had a thick, voluminous mane, primarily red in coloration but with black tips resembling a ponytail that went down to her ankles, a teal bangle down its length separating a mass of the mane from the lower portion. She had a black ruff on her upper body, pointed at the shoulders from which her arms extended. Her upper arms were thin, whereas her lower arms, while still slim, were bulkier. The arms had spiky extensions of fur at the elbows, and her three claws, as well as the claws on her feet, were red. She stared at Aaron with mixed emotions in her teal eyes, body tense with anxiety and trepidation. "Aaron. It's been a long time," she said.

"…Yes. It has," Aaron said.

"Not long enough," she said coldly. The Lucario flinched.

Latios whistled. "Wow, she's pretty good-looking too! But of course, an awesome guy like Aaron'd only attract the best womon…" He frowned. "Wait…unless she's using illusion to make herself look prettier than she really is…"

"Sort of like you use illusion to keep everyone from noticing that rather unsightly scar on your-" Latias started.

"You promised you'd never tell anyone about that!" he hissed as she giggled.

Aaron shook his head. "No, this is the real her. She's never used illusion to change her appearance, other than to disguise herself, of course. She thought it would be vain to do something like that. Besides, she's never had any need to make herself look more beautiful than she already is."

Zorra smiled thinly, a smile that did not reach her eyes. "Why Aaron, that's so sweet of you! It almost reminds me of old times…that is, before you broke my heart by marrying Krysta despite telling me that you loved _me_."

Aaron flinched. "Zorra, I-"

"Whatever," Zorra said sharply, cutting him off. "I'm glad you're happy. And I can tell you're happy, considering how much of _her_ I can smell all over you." As Aaron fidgeted guiltily and the others exchanged awkward looks, she crossed her arms and pointedly did not look at him. "Anyway, that's in the past, and I'd rather not revisit one of the most painful and humiliating moments of my life, if that's all right with you."

"…Well. She's certainly vindictive," Latios murmured.

"As well she should be!" Sabrina huffed.

"If this is her not hating him, I'd hate to see how she'd behave towards someone she _really_ didn't like," Rayquaza commented.

"I know why you came here," Zorra continued. "I've been watching the situation in Pokémon Square for some time, and have known the identity of the evil sorcerer hiding in your midst for years."

"What?" Raiki said sharply. "Then why didn't you tell us before now?"

"Just because I can identify him doesn't mean I can fight or bind him," Zorra said. "That's not my specialty. I've been looking for a way to get rid of him for a while now, but haven't come up with anything…yet."

"Then why didn't you tell us? _We_ could have done something!" Raiki protested.

"Aside from the fact that it would have resulted in a battle that could have done some serious damage to your precious town and killed lots of innocent lives…would you have believed me? My kind have a bit of a reputation among more civilized circles…a reputation which we rather enjoy cultivating," Zorra said.

"…Well, I guess…" Raiki said uncertainly.

"It's also a reputation you've clearly given up, since, aside from whatever you do to the occasional barbarians that pass through here, there have been no reports of disappearances or weird monsters or any of the other mischief that's the usual calling card of your species," Aaron argued. "You've been _helping_ people, not deceiving them."

Now it was Zorra's turn to fidget. "…It's another thing about me you've ruined, Aaron."

He frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I initially came to Krysta to learn how to strengthen my abilities as an illusionist for selfish purposes, to benefit myself and play greater pranks and tricks," Zorra admitted. "But then you had to come along and ruin everything, you with all your talk of honor and duty and legacy and, and all the other _words_ you put in my head that made me start to wonder if I was really making the most of myself. After the…after you broke my heart, I tried going home and getting over what happened, but…it didn't feel like home anymore. I no longer felt comfortable among the rest of my kin, who squandered their talent on pointless mischief and trickery rather than doing anything really constructive with their lives. All your talk of heroics had _done_ something to me, made me start to feel like I could do so much more with my powers than this, like…like I should _help_ people with them or something like that. I didn't understand it then, and I still don't now, but it's given me some kind of satisfaction I never got from being a trickster. It also meant I was completely unsuitable to live with my own kind, so they kicked me out."

"…I'm…I'm sorry. I had no idea-" Aaron stammered.

"No, of course you didn't," Zorra said bitterly. "After all, it's not like you cared to check in on me to see what had happened or how I reacted to you totally destroying my dreams or hopes for the future!"

"How could I? I had no idea where you'd gone!" Aaron snapped. "You don't think I looked for you? But I couldn't find you anywhere! I've _never_ been able to find you when you didn't want me to!"

Zorra was surprised. "You…you looked for me? But why-"

"Why do you think? Because I _loved_ you Zorra! Did you really think I would lie about something like that?" he asked angrily. "I'm an Aura Guardian! We _never_ lie about matters of the heart!"

"Yet you seem to have no problem breaking them," Sabrina said darkly. Aaron grimaced.

"Was that really necessary?" Latias asked.

The Xatu sighed. "Sorry, this is just putting me in a bad mood. I can sympathize with her all too well…except that at least she knew, or thought she knew, that the mon she wanted loved her once upon a time."

"Not helping," Aaron said through gritted teeth.

"Sorry," she grunted.

"You…you loved…but then why…" Zorra scowled and shook her head. "No. I'm not falling into that trap. I don't care whatever pathetic excuses you have for why you did what you did, I don't want to hear them."

"Looks to me like she does," Latios murmured to the others, who nodded in agreement.

"Things went downhill from there," Zorra continued, ignoring everyone's comments. "Zoroark live in big groups, so being all by oneself is…never a pleasant experience. For the first time in my life, I was really alone. It's a wonder I didn't go insane. I wandered the continent for a while, not sure _what_ I was looking for, especially since there was only the one Zoroark enclave on Kanjohenn and I'd just been permanently evicted from it. Eventually, whether by chance or intention, I found myself at Pokémon Square, the place you'd come from, the town you'd told me so much about in our time together. Using illusion to disguise myself, I entered the town and observed everyone going about their daily lives, fighting and playing and working together. I felt the strength of their community and the ties of friendship and love that bound them all together. It resonated strongly with my own longing to find a place where I would be welcome and loved once more. For a minute, I actually deluded myself into thinking that it could work, that I could join the people of Pokémon Square, that I could have a home again."

"…And instead you're living in the middle of a forest with nobody but your kid to keep you company," said a confused Latios. "So…what happened?"

"Yeah, we'd have been perfectly happy to have you," Raiki said. "Our gates are always open to peace-loving Pokémon who want a place to stay."

"I left for the same reason everything else in my life went wrong…Aaron," Zorra said.

"What did I do now?" he asked incredulously.

"The town reminded me too much of you," she said. "Everything I saw reflected something you'd told me about it…which made me think of all the other things you'd told me, and the fun times we'd had together, and the memories we shared, and the…way you hurt me…and before I knew it I found myself running away, because if the town made me remember all the good things about you it would make me remember how you broke my heart, too."

"Oh," Aaron said weakly.

"But if it hurt so much, then why are you still here?" Sabrina asked. "Why didn't you just leave forever?"

"…I don't know," Zorra admitted. "I've thought of it a few times…of taking my son and going…but something stops me. I don't know what."

"It's because of Aaron again," Latias said.

Aaron groaned. "Oh, what now?"

"No, it's a good thing, sort of," Latias said. "Zorra, you said this town reminded you of him. Both the good _and_ the bad. Which meant that since Aaron was no longer in your reach—or so you thought—that this was pretty much the last thing you had to remember him by. And even if it hurt…it also called to you so strongly that you couldn't leave, not without relinquishing all your feelings for Aaron forever."

Zorra sagged. "Yes. Yes, you're right. Of course that's it. Why not?" She laughed bitterly. "You see what you've done to me, Aaron? You left a scar in my heart so deep that I can't heal it, no matter how hard I try. I can't let go of you, no matter how much it hurts to hold on. I don't suppose you have some fancy Aura Guardian trick that can mend a broken heart?"

"…No. I am sorry, but that is one power that is beyond me," he said sadly.

"Yeah, I didn't think so," she said.

"So, since you couldn't bear to stay close to town, but you couldn't bear to just go away either, you…set up shop here and started spying on us as some sort of compromise?" Raiki asked. "That's…a little creepy."

Zorra shrugged. "Well, I'm a Zoroark, it's not like I can do anything without a little eeriness in it. The desire to help people Aaron contaminated me with hasn't gotten rid of _all_ my trickster tendencies. And I figured the best way to help the people of Pokémon Square, the people that Aaron clearly cared about so much, was to watch them from afar…and do whatever I could to keep them safe, without their knowing I existed. I admit it doesn't make much sense, but…I was worried that if I got too involved I might get my heart broken again, and I just wasn't sure if I could survive that."

"Zorra…" Aaron said softly.

"Anyway," she said brusquely. "I'll tell you the identity of the sorcerer. But after that, I want you to get out. Don't come back, and never tell anyone I'm here. I don't want people looking for me and asking me to do stupid things for them with my illusions."

"No," Aaron said.

She bristled. "What?"

"I'll be happy to hear who the evil mage lurking under our noses is…but I won't leave you. Not again. Not until you hear what I have to say," Aaron said.

"Whatever it is, I don't want to hear it," Zorra said angrily.

"I think you do, more than you would like to admit," Aaron said. "Or don't you want to know the truth about why I chose Krysta over you? Why I broke your heart, even though I said I loved you?"

She snarled ferociously. "Damn you, you know I do! But what difference does it make? That was then and this was now! It won't change anything! All it will do is make both of us feel that much more miserable! You think telling me whatever burden's been weighing on your conscience will make you feel better, make you feel like less of a heel rather than the sanctimonious do-gooder you think you are? I'm not going to let you make me feel even worse just so you can pat yourself on the back for being a responsible person!"

"Did you know that Krysta's a prisoner on Mt. Freeze?" Aaron asked.

That stopped Zorra dead in her tracks. "What? What are you talking about?"

"Krysta's a prisoner. That beautiful, impossible paradise isn't her refuge, a place where she can train and meditate and learn the secrets of the Omniverse without being bothered by the outside world. She's there because she's trapped there," Aaron said. "The sorcerer whose identity you know, the sorcerer who's lurking in Pokémon Square, bound her there centuries ago after a great battle, ensuring that no matter what she did, no matter how hard she tried, she could never leave."

Zorra's eyes widened in astonishment and realization. "And…since she had no friends, no family, nobody who cared about her, that means she'd be all alone, and…" She gasped. "Then! Is…is that why you…"

Aaron shook his head sadly. "No, unfortunately. It would be a convenient excuse, but no. I only found out just yesterday. She was so ashamed about it that she never told me, her own husband…probably for fear that I'd throw away the rest of my life just to make sure she'd never be lonely again."

"…But, uh, haven't you done that already by marrying her?" asked a confused Raiki.

"If I had known the truth from the beginning, I would never have left Mt. Freeze. Ever," Aaron said. "Which meant I'd never have finished my training, and might even have been reluctant to return to Pokémon Square to help everyone, for fear of leaving her all alone again. In fact, now that I'm aware of the truth, I'm still somewhat reluctant to leave her by herself. But now that I know, I'm going to do everything in my power to free her so we can spend the rest of our lives together in freedom."

"Oh, okay," Raiki said.

"Awww, that's really sweet!" Latios said.

Sabrina sighed reluctantly. "Yeah…it is, isn't it?"

Zorra frowned, hiding the ache his statement made in her heart. "But…if that's not the reason, then why…"

"Actually, part of what _you_ said is the reason," Aaron said. "But I'm getting ahead of myself. Do you remember how I told you Lucario are supposed to be monogamous?"

"Yes. But why-" She stiffened, and started shaking with rage. "Oh, come on!"

"Aaron, what the Abyss?" Latios asked, shocked.

"Seriously, _that's_ the reason why?" Rayquaza asked incredulously.

"No," Aaron said. "That's _not_ the reason."

Zorra blinked. "Huh?"

"Zorra, I loved both of you…and both you _and_ Krysta mentioned the possibility of me marrying both of you. You were willing to share me, especially since you were both pretty fond of each other, weren't you?" Aaron said.

"Well…yeah," Zorra admitted. "I mean, I really resent Krysta for taking you, but…I was such good friends with her that I found it hard to hate her, especially now that I know…wait a minute, what's this got to do with anything?"

"When I rejected the proposal of wedding both of you and insisted I could only marry one of you because of the custom of monogamy, I was being weak and selfish. I was hiding behind tradition rather than confronting my own worry and insecurity," Aaron said, astonishing everyone. Aaron, afraid of something? No way!

"What-what do you mean?" Zorra stammered.

"I loved both of you. I loved you so much it hurt," Aaron said. "And I was afraid that it would destroy you."

Zorra blinked. "Huh?"

"I was afraid that in marrying both of you, I would make us all miserable," Aaron said. "I didn't know if I would be able to treat both of you fairly. I didn't know how I could avoid favoring one over the other, or splitting my attention equally between you both, or how I could possibly keep from doting over one group of our future progeny more than the other, or any number of other potential crises. I was terrified that if I tried to have the both of you…in the end, I would only make all of us miserable."

"But Aaron, lots of Pokémon have stable threesomes or similar relationships that can last their whole lifetimes," Raiki protested. "I mean, just look at how many people Gallant's got hanging on him!"

Latios nodded in agreement. "Yeah, threesomes make everything better. EVERYTHING." Everyone gave him a weirded-out look.

"You may think so…but at the time, I wasn't so sure," Aaron said. "I didn't know if I would be able to support two families. I didn't know if I could do what Gallant and so many others could. So, I…I did what I thought was best and picked only one of the womon I loved, reasoning that while it would hurt whoever I didn't pick—something I wished dearly were not the case, but suspected to be true—it would only be in the short term, and not be as bad as whatever disaster I feared might befall us if I tried balancing both of you and was not adequate to the task. But looking at you now…I can see that I was wrong, and only lying to myself to conceal my own cowardice." He bowed his head. "I'm sorry, Zorra. I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you."

"…I…then that's…" She blinked back tears. "But then…why did you pick her, in the end? We'd…we'd fallen in love much earlier. We spent more time together. We…"

"I picked Krysta because I believed that you would be strong enough to survive without me…but I wasn't so sure she could," Aaron said.

Zorra blinked. "Huh?"

"You said it yourself…Krysta has no friends, no family, absolutely nobody. She's all alone on top of Mt. Freeze. Before we came to train with her, she rarely if ever got any visitors, and certainly no guests. But while we stayed with her, she had company. She had friends and trusted companions. She had something like a family again. And if we left to pursue our futures elsewhere…she'd be all alone again. Maybe forever. Do you think she could have born that? Because I'm almost certain I could not have," Aaron said.

"…Oh. I…I never looked at it like that," Zorra murmured.

"I assumed you would be okay, because you had so many people waiting for you back home, people I thought would help you get over your sorrow. Family and friends and any number of willing males who could have taken my place by your side," Aaron said apologetically. "I had not realized that I had affected you so much, though, that you were not able even to find mates among your own kind."

Zorra did cry, now. "I tried, Aaron. Honest, I tried. But no matter what male (or female) I courted, no matter whom I took to bed, I couldn't stop thinking of you. You left an indelible stain on my heart, one I couldn't remove no matter how hard I tried."

"Got her a kid, though," Raiki murmured.

"Actually, I'm her sister's," the Zorua said. "But she's not around anymore, so Zorra's pretty much my mother in every way that counts."

"Oh, okay," Raiki said. He paused, then did a double take and yelped, jumping into the air. "Would you stop doing that?"

"No," the Zorua said, laughing mockingly.

"I'm sorry, Zorra. For everything," Aaron said.

"S-so am I," she stammered, rubbing her eyes. "But…but now what? Where does this leave us? Because even knowing the truth, I can't forgive you. You took the easy way out of cowardice, you as much as said so yourself, and made too many assumptions without asking _us_ how we felt about the whole thing."

"I know," Aaron said. "I didn't expect you to forgive me. I wouldn't ask you to. But…there is one way I can think of to amend my mistake. To start over and try to mend the holes in both of our hearts…and that's by doing what I should have done years ago."

Zorra's eyes widened. "Wait…you can't mean…"

"I do," Aaron said, getting down on one knee and extending a paw, a crystallized flower sitting in it. "Zorra, will you marry me?"

…

Meanwhile, in the Sinister Woods…

"I don't like this place," Sapphire complained. "It's creepy."

"Well, it's the _Sinister_ Woods. What do you expect?" Pichu said.

"Don't worry, Sapphire. With so many of us grouped together, there's no way anything will dare to mess with us!" Gilbert reassured the Azurill.

Sapphire smiled in relief. "Thanks, Gilbert." Hubie frowned and stroked his chin in thought as he observed this interaction, recalling the vision he had seen yesterday.

"Well, unless there's more of them than us, anyway," Matthias said morbidly. "And they're really hungry. And-"

"That's not helping," Collette said as Sapphire squealed in alarm.

"S-sorry. This is my first time out in the wild since I came to Pokémon Square. It…brings back memories of how I used to live." The Ratatta grimaced. "They aren't particularly good memories…"

"So long as you stick with us, we'll make sure you never have to live like that again," Pichu assured him.

Matthias smiled gratefully. "Thanks."

"What's going on up there? Do you see anything?" Junior called up to Max, who was perched on top of a tree and gazing at the entrance to a nearby cave through a telescope.

The Treecko glanced down and shook his head. "Nothing. No movement since Team Skull entered the cave a few minutes ago."

"And they were carrying the egg, right?" Kira asked.

Max nodded. "Definitely!"

"Then what are we waiting for? Let's go in and get them!" Pichu said, drawing his sword.

"Hang on, we can't afford to be reckless," George pointed out. "After all, they managed to trounce us before, remember?"

"That was only because we weren't prepared for that gas attack of theirs," Torch pointed out. "We are this time…and we have a bunch of other gear that should help us against them, too."

"We should move in," Junior agreed. "The longer we sit down here, the more time those guys have to set up traps or go out through a back exit or something."

"I didn't see any when I scouted around the area, but that doesn't mean one doesn't exist," Collette agreed. "Well, I suppose just sitting here won't do anything…all right, let's go in."

"Right! Everyone, move in and take them out! Let's beat up those bullies and get back that Phione egg!" Gilbert declared.

The others nodded and made for the cave entrance, moving quickly and quietly, darting from cover to cover to make sure anyone on guard—not that they saw anyone on guard, but that didn't mean there wasn't anyone—wouldn't see them coming. They had split up into their composite teams to create more targets and less noise, but regrouped when they reached the cave and all headed in together.

As is probably obvious by now, Teams Awesome, GX, Go-Getters, and Pokepals were on a mission to hunt down Team Skull and retrieve the stolen Phione egg. After the stench from Team Skull's noxious attack had been scrubbed from them, they'd reported the incident in full, save for the part where they'd beaten up an innocent Phione for no reason. After being lectured and berated by the Mayor, Scotty, Chuck, and their parents for being unprepared and defeated by such a cheap trick, they were promptly tasked with going after the bullies and getting back the egg. Since they had allowed it to be stolen, it seemed only fitting that they should be the ones to get it back. (Plus, all the other teams were busy on missions to protect the town or had been roped into helping Delia set up for the big mass wedding the next day.) Team Awesome were surprised to be included, since this would be their very first mission and they hadn't even completed training yet, but they were informed that this would be a trial mission under the supervision of the (slightly more) senior teams in lieu of their battle exam with Ignik to see if they really had what it took to be a Rescue Team. This was their last chance, however. If they proved unable to pull together adequately as a team, they would be disbanded and reassigned to other junior Rescue Teams. Not wanting to be separated from his friends, and well aware that this might be his last chance to make a name for himself before his new sibling hatched, Pichu vowed that Team Awesome would live up to its moniker.

Team Skull had removed their badges so they couldn't be tracked or teleported back to town using them, but the three (slightly) older teams had enough experience in the field to spot all the signs the bullies had made as they left town and followed them. (The fact that they left a rather noticeable stench was also quite helpful in following their trail.) They had caught up with the trio just in time to see them enter this cave out in the Sinister Woods, and while they had no idea what they were up to or what they planned to do with the Phione egg, the kids doubted it was anything good.

"I'm getting no trap readings in this area," Collette reported after walking a few feet down the cave passage and activating a See-Trap Orb.

"I'm picking up a large number of enemy Pokémon, though," said an alarmed Torch as he used a Radar Orb. "I count…eleven, including what I presume to be Team Skull."

"Can't it tell you what Pokémon they are?" Matthias asked nervously.

"No, it's a Radar Orb. It reveals all foes in the area, but doesn't tell me who they are," Torch said.

"Then it's a good thing I brought X-Ray Specs," Max said, replacing his thick glasses with a pair of goofy-looking ones with swirls on the lenses. He peered into the darkness ahead of them. "Okay…I see Team Skull along with eight unfamiliar Pokémon: a Golbat, a Weezing, two Houndour, a Grimer, an Ekans, and a pair of Glooms. They've all got black hats and cloth on them with big red R's."

The others gasped. "It's Team Rocket!" Sapphire cried.

"That weird group who Mr. Giovanni's in charge of that abducted Mr. T-Bone during the fight at Mt. Battle!" Junior added. Hubie frowned, wondering if that 'Team Quantum' group might be nearby. Something about them sounded…familiar…

"The heck are they doing here?" Pichu wondered. "And with Team Skull, no less?"

"Whatever it is, it can't be good," Matthias said. "We have to stop them!"

"That might be tricky…we still outnumber them, but only by a little…and they're probably all adults…" George said doubtfully.

"Maybe so, but we're young and strong! Youth power forever!" Kira shouted. Everyone stared at her. "Er…never mind…"

"That aside, we do have _one_ advantage," Max said, pulling out a transparent Orb. He grinned. "The element of surprise…"

In a large chamber further down the cave, Team Skull was conversing with the Team Rocket representatives. "Were you followed?" the Golbat asked coolly.

"Heh-heh-heh! No way, Uncle Proton! We made sure to get rid of our badges so nobody in Pokémon Square could track us down. They're probably really angry about us stealing that egg and beating up those kids, so we were as careful as we could be to leave no trace behind!" Chao said.

"You'd better have. If you're wrong, I will be very unhappy…" Proton growled.

"Relax, Proton. I'm sure they took every precaution on the way here," the Weezing, who seemed more jovial than his colleague, said. "So, kiddo, you got the goods?"

"Whoa-ho-ho! Sure thing, Uncle Petrel!" Smogon said. "Boss?"

"Chaw-haw-haw! Feast your eyes on _this_!" Jeremiah said, parting his paws to reveal the stolen egg. "A rare Phione egg, and apparently the last of its kind, the final egg Manaphy lay before his untimely demise!"

Proton and Petrel looked at it in awe. "Magnificent…" the Golbat murmured.

"Yeah, it's not bad-looking, is it?" Petrel agreed.

"Heh-heh-heh! Does this mean we're in Team Rocket now?" Chao asked hopefully.

"Whoa-ho-ho! Yeah, we wanna help you guys take over the world! It'll be way cooler than staying with all those disgustingly heroic putzes in Pokémon Square!" Smogon said.

"Chaw-haw-haw! Yeah! Are we in?" Jeremiah asked.

"Not if you keep making those annoying laughs you're not," Proton snarled, causing the trio of Poison-types to yelp in fright.

"Heh-he-*cough*-I mean, uh, s-sorry, Uncle Proton. We won't do it again," Chao said.

"Whoa-ho—I mean, yeah, what he said," Smogon said.

"Yeah," Jeremiah agreed, nodding his head rapidly.

"Good," Proton grunted.

Petrel rolled his eyes. "Geez, you're such a hardass. Lighten up a little, would you? Anyway, yeah, you're in. Welcome to Team Rocket!"

Team Skull cheered excitedly. "Oh yeah!" Chao whooped.

"That's what I'm talking about!" Smogon guffawed.

"At least! We've hit the big time, boys, just like I said we would!" Jeremiah cackled. "Oh hey, does this mean we get those neat Rocket uniforms too?"

"Sure thing," Petrel said. "But first things first…the egg?"

"Right," Jeremiah said. "Here you…huh?" He looked down at his paws, startled to see that the egg had disappeared. "What the…where'd it go?"

"The Abyss are you trying to pull, punk?" Proton asked furiously, suddenly on edge. "Are you trying to double-cross us?"

"Wh-what? No way!" Jeremiah protested.

"Y-yeah, Uncle Proton, we're totally on the level!" Chao insisted.

"Then where is-" Proton started.

"Sirs, look!" a Houndour barked. "In the air!"

They looked, and to their astonishment saw the Phione egg floating towards the exit. "Wow," Smogon said. "I didn't know Phione eggs could fly!"

"That's because they can't, an invisible Pokémon must be carrying it!" Petrel realized.

"And she isn't alone!" Junior's voice rang out as something slammed into the Houndour, flinging him into the wall.

"Wh-what the-" the Grimer protested before he suddenly got hit by three Water Guns. "Gaaah! No, not water, it's my only weakness!"

"I thought your weaknesses were Ground and Psychic," said a Gloom.

"Yes, but I hate taking baths!" the Grimer wailed.

The other Gloom cried out as a Flamethrower struck her from thin air, causing her to scream and run about, embers flying from her rear. "Ahhhh! Hothothot!"

"Where are they?" the Ekans hissed frantically, before being struck by a Thundershock.

"Oh crap, they're everywhere! There's too many of them!" Smogon screamed.

"Aaaaahhh, we're all gonna die!" Chao shrieked, panicking and flinging Air Cutters all over the place. His example set the rest of the Rockets and Team Skull down a similar path, and they started firing attacks wildly all over the place, doing half of the invisible heroes' work for them by striking each other.

The only ones who kept their calm were Proton and Petrel. "Those _idiots_," the Golbat snarled as he saw the second Gloom, who was now on fire as well, collide with the first one, making both of their fires stronger and making them scream even louder. "I thought we trained them better than this!"

"And it's all a diversion, too," Petrel noted, seeing the flying Phione egg getting closer to the exit. "They're taking the egg!"

"Oh no they aren't!" Proton roared, flinging several Air Cutters.

"The Abyss are you doing?" Petrel cried in alarm. "You'll break the egg!"

"I wasn't aiming for it," Proton said smugly as the Air Cutters flew past the startled invisible Collette and struck the ceiling above the tunnel entrance, causing it to collapse and drop several tons of soil and debris into the cave, sealing the exit.

"Oh, crap," Collette murmured, pausing in her tracks.

"Uncle Proton, the heck are you doing? You've trapped us all in here with them!" Chao cried in disbelief.

"No, we've trapped them in here with us," Proton said evilly.

"Yeah, and then we're all gonna die of ssstarvation! Unlesss we eat each other firssst…" the Ekans said, looking at his colleagues appraisingly, who worriedly backed away.

"I think we'll all die of air loss first, actually," Petrel said cheerfully. "Fortunately, that won't be a problem because we have an exit strategy already planned. And even if we didn't, we could just blast or Dig our way out, so no big deal, right?"

"Er…no, I guess not," Jeremiah admitted Mareepishly.

"Good, now if that's settled…GET THOSE INVISIBLE MONS!" Proton shouted.

"Good luck doing that!" Kira taunted as she dashed back and forth, flinging Razor Leaves at Jeremiah and causing him to yelp and spray very smelly gas all over the place.

"Yeah, you can't hit what you can't see!" Matthias agreed as he stabbed one of the Houndours in the rear with his sword, his confidence higher than usual because he didn't have to worry about the bad guys seeing and hurting him.

"Oh, that's where you're very wrong," Proton sneered. "Nephew, use Supersonic!"

"Huh? But what good will that…oh, of course!" Chao realized. He opened his mouth and started firing several light blue circles. Proton did the same. The rings reverberated around the room, making a loud pinging noise that caused all the Pokémon with very sensitive ears to flinch, both due to the high frequency and the fact that they were bouncing back and forth in such a confined place.

"And what good was that supposed to do?" Hubie taunted when nothing happened. "We're all wearing earplugs, that didn't Confuse us!"

"Wait…I don't think that was meant to Confuse us! Everybody, _move!"_ Max shouted.

But it was too late. "Everyone, follow our line of fire! Aim where we're shooting at!" Proton ordered as he flapped his wings, flinging Air Cutters at the places his Supersonic pulses had pinpointed as being where the intruders were standing. They might have been invisible to sight, but not to his sonar! Chao did the same thing, using his Air Cutters to tag the Pokémon his uncle had neglected, and the rest of Team Skull and the Rockets hurriedly fired their projectile attacks along the same vectors as the two bats. The kids tried to scramble, but even when they moved as fast as they could there were just to many attacks fired too close to where they were standing, and one by one they were struck and knocked to the floor. Collette had a rather nasty scare as she fell from the air, nearly dropping the egg, but she managed to roll over so she landed on her back, her body cushioning the egg from the impact…but doing nothing to help her wings.

Groaning, their bodies flickered, and one by one they rematerialized as the effects of the Invisify Orb wore off. "What the…it's just a bunch of kids?" the Grimer said incredulously. "Some stupid brats gave us that much trouble?"

"Well, you know what they sssay about kid heroesss," the Ekans said.

"No, what?" the Grimer asked.

The Ekans blinked. "I don't know. That'sss why I sssaid, 'you know what they sssay.' I wasss hoping you knew." The Grimer facepalmed.

"Wait a minute, I know those kids…it's those runts we swiped the egg from yesterday!" Jeremiah realized.

"That's right…it's 'us runts!'" Pichu said as he levered himself back up on his sword.

"And we're here to kick your butts and get back the egg you took!" Gilbert said.

"What? I thought you said you weren't followed!" Proton shouted.

"I-I thought we weren't! Honest, Uncle!" Chao said timidly.

"Uh, does this mean we don't get into Team Rocket after all?" Smogon asked worriedly.

"Is _that_ all you're worrying about?" Hubie mocked.

"I think you should be more concerned with how you're gonna convince Nurse Joy to fix you up after we beat you up and drag you back to town!" Junior said.

"Ha, you beat us?" Jeremiah sneered. "Don't you remember what happened the last time you faced us?"

"Do we ever!" Kira said. "And this time, we're ready!"

"Oh, we'll see about that!" Jeremiah said as he struck a pose. "Team Skull's Super-Stinky Special Strike, go-"

"No, don't do that in here, you idiots!" Proton interrupted. "In a space this small, the smell will have nowhere to go, and you'll suffocate all of us!"

Jeremiah paused. "What, really? Oh…uh, never mind…"

"Aw mon, and I was looking forward to wearing the gas masks we brought all this way just in case they did that to us, too," Torch complained. "We look pretty cool in them!"

"And scary in the dark," Sapphire said with a shudder.

"I'm sure we'll find another use for them someday," Collette said.

"Like recreating that popular two-part episode of Doctor What in which the Ninth Doctor and Rose went back in time to World War I-era Lundun and had to stop/save a bombing victim who'd been resurrected by defective nanites into a gas mask-wearing monster who turned everyone he touched into gas mask zombies that went around asking 'Are you my mummy?', resulting in one of the most heartwarming moments in the series since nobody died at all despite coming awfully close a few times, and the bombing victim actually _got better_?" Max suggested. Everyone stared at him. He flushed. "It was a good episode…"

"Nerd!" Chao sneered.  
"Hey, I liked that episode, it tugged at my heartstrings to see the Doctor so overjoyed that nobody had needed to die, since he was sick of people always dying after that awful Time War he was involved in that killed the rest of his kind! Don't you dare disparage it, Doctor What is awesome!" Proton snapped, causing the Zubat to yelp and shut up.

"Uh, anyway…that day won't be today, because we'll cream you even without using our special attack!" Jeremiah sneered.

"Did you forget that you're outnumbered, and were doing a pretty good job of thrashing you just a minute ago?" Max pointed out.

"You just surprised us, that's all!" Chao said.

"Yeah, we're not gonna let you pull off something like that again!" Smogon agreed.

"You're right, you're not…because by the time you even think to do that, we'll already have beaten you so hard not even your mothers would recognize you!" Pichu said.

"Oh yeah? Well when we're done with you, we'll go to _your_ moms, and they'll be so happy that you're dead, they'll offer to-" Jeremiah started.

"Hey, don't you _dare_ say anything about our mothers!" George said angrily as everyone tensed up.

"For the love of Arceus, can we quit it with the insults and taunts and jabs and just kill them already?" Proton yelled.

"And can someone put us out?" the Glooms, who were still on fire, screamed.

"Hmm…actually, I have a better idea," Petrel said abruptly. "A way to resolve this matter without us needing to get our hands dirty—well, not that most of us actually have hands—that'll also allow our new recruits to make up for their mistake and prove they're worthy to be part of Team Rocket."

"Huh? What are you…oh. OH! Yes, I see! An excellent idea, Petrel! Yeah, those brats won't know what hit 'em!" Proton cackled. "It'll be almost as much fun as me beating the snot out of them myself!"

The kids and Team Skull eyed the Rocket leaders uncertainly. "Uh, what're they talking about?" Matthias asked anxiously.

"U-Uncle Petrel…y-you're not saying we're going to have to fight them by _ourselves_, are you?" asked an alarmed Smogon.

"Oh no, of course not. You'd probably lose, anyway," Petrel said, causing the bullies to sweatdrop. "No offense, but there _are_ more of them, and they seem to be prepared to handle you three."

"Then what exactly are you going to make us do?" Jeremiah asked cautiously.

"Oh, it's not what we're going to make you do…but rather, what you're going to make _somebody else_ do!" Petrel whistled, and suddenly a green portal opened nearby.

The kids started. "Wh-what the heck is that?" Pichu yelled.

"It appears to be some sort of transdimensional wormhole or energy vortex linking this point in time and space with somewhere or some_when_ else," Max observed. Everyone stared at him blankly. He sighed. "It's a time portal."

"Ohhhh," they all said. Hubie frowned, feeling the portal…calling to him somehow…

"Wait…then…could this be the work of Team Quantum?" Collette cried in alarm.

"Team Quantum? Oh crud, I don't think we can face those guys! I saw what they did to Team Ebony, those poor guys are still screaming every time they see a shadow, even their own!" Torch said in horror.

"Oh don't worry, you're not gonna have to fight our time traveling comrades in arms," Petrel said. "No, you're going to have to fight something almost as bad. Have you ever heard…of a Shadow Pokémon?"

The kids stiffened in horror. "WHAT?" they yelled.

The portal shimmered, and suddenly an enormous Tyranitar slid out and stood on the floor before it. There was something odd about the great beast, though…it was standing as still as a statue. It didn't seem to be breathing. Was it even alive? "Is that…T-Bone?" an alarmed Junior cried.

"No, it's a female," Kira said.

"How can you tell?" Pichu asked.

"Because she's wearing a pink bow," Kira said, pointing with her leaf to a bow tied around one spike on the side of the Tyranitar's head.

Everyone stared at it. "You're right, she is," George said slowly.

"Yep, that means she's a girl, all right," Sapphire said.

"But…why is she wearing a bow?" asked a confused Junior.

"Maybe somebody thought it would make her look cute?" Torch suggested.

"It's not really working…" Matthias said.

"What I'm more curious about is why she isn't moving or breathing…" Max said.

"An apt question! You see, she's been frozen in a single instant by Team Paradox's mastery over time and space. She's a bit, ah, volatile at the moment what with being a Shadow Pokémon and all…" Petrel said.

"And just where did you get her from?" Gilbert demanded.

"You probably made her into one yourselves!" Collette accused.

The Rockets looked indignant at this. "What? _Us?_ Create a Shadow Pokémon? Who the hell do you think we are? We're trying to _stop_ the Nihilators, we don't want to _be_ like them!" Proton said angrily.

This came as a surprise to the kids. "You're trying to _stop_ the Nihilators?" asked the confused Pichu.

"But…but so are we. So why…" Kira said.

"That's nothing you need to concern yourselves with right now," Petrel said. "My colleague here has spoken out of turn. Anyway, we did not create this Shadow Pokémon. We rescued her from a facility where the Nihilators were holding her and have been doing our best to purify her. So far, our attempts have been, ah, less than successful, hence why she's currently time-locked so she doesn't kill us all."

"…And you brought her here _why?_" Jeremiah asked incredulously.

"So you can use her as a weapon to defeat these kids," Petrel said.

"Huh? What do you mean, Uncle Petrel?" Smogon asked.

"Use her…as a weapon?" Chao murmured.

"Why am I not liking the sound of this?" Matthias groaned.

"Wait…female Tyranitar…held at a Nihilator base…" Collette gasped as the pieces clicked into place. "Then that's…that must be T-Bone's wife!"

"That's right!" Proton said. "And now, she's going to be your worst nightmare!"

"Thanks to this," Smogon said as the Ekans came over and placed a small case at Jeremiah's feet. The serpent nudged it open, revealing a strange red and gold device mounted on top of a metal ring that could probably be put around a wrist or ankle. On top of the device was some kind of round top held in place by a blue crystal lens. "You've heard of Professor Hastings, right?"

"Yeah, he's the missing scientist from Seasonsburg and Vientown, right?" George recalled. "But why-" He gasped. "Holy crap, you have him too?"

"Yep! And with his help, our scientists were able to create this…the Capture Styler, a device that allows Pokémon to control other Pokémon!" Petrel said.

As the kids gaped in horror, Team Skull's eyes (except for Chao, who had no eyes) widened in awe. "Control…other Pokémon?" Smogon whispered reverently.

"You mean…like that one right there?" Jeremiah asked hopefully, looking at the time-locked Tyranitar.

"That's right! The power of a Shadow Pokémon at your paws…won't _that_ be fun?" Proton asked with a smug grin.

"Oh no you don't!" Pichu said in alarm, raising his sword.

"There's no way we're going to let you do that, not to T-Bone's wife and the mother of my newest adopted brother!" Collette agreed.

"Let alone the fact that controlling another Pokémon through a machine is reprehensible, there's also the small problem of her being a Shadow Pokémon that we have no way to purify without Aaron here to help us…" Gilbert said anxiously.

"I don't need one of my Dimensional Screams to let us know something bad will happen if you do that, which is why we have to stop them!" Hubie agreed.

"Everyone, ATTACK!" Pichu yelled. They charged towards the Rockets.

"Proton, you and the others distract the kids while I help Jeremiah get this thing working," Petrel said to his colleague.

"Right," Proton said with a wicked grin. "They will feel the wrath of Team Rocket!"

"Wait, why's he get to use it?" Chao complained.

"Because I'm the leader, obviously!" Jeremiah sneered.

"Actually, it's because you're the only one with a limb it would fit on," Petrel said.

"…Oh. Well. Still!" Jeremiah said. "At least it means I'm special."

"Yeah, you're real special, all right…" Smogon muttered.

"Come on, let's go! Show me you're worthy to call yourself Rockets!" Proton howled as he flew past, leading the other Rockets (and the flaming Glooms) towards the kids. Smogon and Chao grinned and followed suit.

"So, what do I need to do?" Jeremiah asked as fighting erupted all around them.

"First, you gotta put the thing on," Petrel instructed him.

"Okay," Jeremiah said, slipping his right forelimb through the ring of the Capture Styler. "Now what?"

"Now, point it at the Tyranitar," Petrel said. "Focus your will on her. The Styler's got some kinda fancy telepathic circuitry I can't even begin to understand, but basically it responds to your thoughts."

"Oooh, neat!" Jeremiah said, closing one eye and sticking out his tongue as he concentrated on the Tyranitar. To his surprise, the blue lens flipped up, a cross-hairs appearing on it with the frozen monster in the center, data and vital statistics forming on the sides. "Huh? Is it supposed to do that?"

"Yeah, it shows you information on the Pokémon you want to capture and what sorts of abilities it has…and let me tell you, this one's got a ton of 'em!" Petrel said. "Now, fire your Capture Disc—that's the little top-thingy—at her."

"How do I do that?" Jeremiah asked.

"Will it to happen. Remember, the Styler does what you want it to," Petrel said.

"Oh, right. Mmmm…" He jumped when the top lit up and suddenly launched itself off the Styler, whizzing and wobbling across the ground, leaving a colored trail of light in its wake as it spun all over the place, the words 'Capture On!' flashing on the display. "Whoa! Cool!"

"Now, focus your thoughts on the Disc. To control the Tyranitar, you have to capture her first," Petrel said. "And to do that, you need to make the Disc go in circles around her, which will transmit your feelings and will into her mind until that little bar you see underneath her image on the lens fills up. Normally, that would be a bit tricky since most Pokémon are naturally agitated by a weird spinning thing flying around them, so they try to move or attack it, but since this Tyranitar's been temporally paralyzed, that won't be a problem. She'll be released from her time freeze once you've made enough circles around her, and by then she'll be completely under your control. You can make her do anything you want just by thinking it."

"Really? _Anything?_" Jeremiah asked lewdly.

Petrel gave him an annoyed look. "Now isn't the time for that sort of thinking, kid. Just Capture her already, and use her to cream those kids! Show them what happens to those who mess with Team Rocket!"

"Chaw-haw-haw, sure, no problem!" Jeremiah said, focusing on the Capture Disc and willing it to start circling around the Tyranitar. It was a little tricky, and he started sweating from the effort of concentration needed to make the device do what he wanted it to. The line it created was more than a little wobbly and shapeless but still, ultimately, a circle. With every loop it completed around the Tyranitar, the Armor Pokémon flashed and Jeremiah felt some kind of _connection_ to her, and the bar on the Styler's display filled up a little bit more. When it finally reached full capacity, the words, 'Pokémon Captured' flashed on the screen, and the Tyranitar blinked, glowing with an eerie light as she reanimated. She threw back her head and roared, shaking the whole cavern and causing the fighting Pokémon to freeze in their tracks, Shadow Aura blazing up around her. "Oh, wow!" the Skuntank gasped, staggering back as the Disc returned to the Styler.

"You okay, kid?" Petrel asked in concern.

"Y-yeah, I'm more than okay! I'm…I…I feel so much _power!_ I can see what she sees, hear what she hears, experience what she experiences! The strength…the sheer, indomitable _power_ coursing through her veins…it's coursing through mine too! It's incredible!" Jeremiah gasped.

"And can you control her?" Petrel asked.

"Control her? Oh, I can do a lot more than that," Jeremiah said with an evil grin, the Tyranitar's eyes changing to be the same color as his. "I'm gonna use her to destroy those twerps…and show them never to mess with Team Skull again!" Guided by his will, the Tyranitar stomped forwards towards the kids.

Noticing this, Petrel called back his Rockets. "Fall back! Leave them to our newest weapon!" the Golbat called as he retreated.

"Phew! A good thing, too, I don't know how much more of that I could have handled," one Houndour said as he scurried out of the way.

"Yeah, those kids are tougher than I expected!" the other Houndour agreed.

"Yeah, you'd better run!" Pichu yelled, waving his sword after them. "Ha, we sure scared them off, didn't we? Not bad, huh?"

"Actually, I think they're more afraid of the giant mind-controlled Shadow Tyranitar stampeding towards us," Max said.

Pichu turned and stared as the colossal beast bore down on them. "Ah. Yeah, that could be it too."

"Run!" Matthias screamed.

"Where to? There's nowhere to go!" said the panicking Sapphire.

"Which means we have to stand and fight!" Junior said, putting himself forward.

"Against that? Well, I guess there's no other choice…" Collette said reluctantly.

"Gilbert-kin, I know you'll save us!" Kira shrieked.

"I'll, uh, see what I can do…" Gilbert said doubtfully. "And don't call me kun!"

"Yeah," Torch said. _Why doesn't she ever call _me_ 'kun?'_

"Any brilliant insights from the future?" George asked hopefully.

"Just one," Hubie said.

"What?" George asked.

"Don't die," Hubie said flatly.

"…Yeah, that'll work," George said.

The Tyranitar stopped a few feet away from them and roared, shaking the cavern again. "Chaw-haw-haw! Oh mon, this is going to be so great!" Jeremiah laughed.

"Heh-heh-heh! Sure thing, boss! This'll teach those punks to stick their noses in our business!" Chao agreed.

"Whoa-ho-ho! We're the invincible Team Skull! Nobody can defeat us! Especially not with this new power!" Smogon gloated.

"What did I tell you about the stupid laughs?" Proton bellowed.

The trio flinched, as did the Tyranitar, due to her connection to Jeremiah. "S-sorry, Uncle Proton," Chao said. "Won't happen again."

"That's what you said the last time!" Proton said.

"Well, we mean it this time!" Smogon said.

Proton rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Just beat them already!"

"No problem!" Jeremiah said, having the Tyranitar roar again, Shadow Aura blazing up around her. "With my new puppet, it'll be a snap! And by snap, I'm talking about their bones, of course! Chaw-haw…um…ahahaha?" he laughed weakly when he noticed Proton glaring at him. The Golbat nodded grudgingly, and he sighed in relief.

"Ugh, these kids are morons," Proton murmured to Petrel.

"Yeah, but they make the perfect test subjects," Petrel whispered back. "Who knows? They may even be able to unlock the Styler's true power…though I doubt it very much."

"What, no faith in your own kin?" Proton asked.

"No more than you have in yours," Petrel pointed out.

"Eh, that's what you get when cousins marry and have kids…" Proton grunted.

"You know, I think I would have preferred fighting Ignik again to this," Matthias said.

"Yeah, me too," Max said.

Pichu sighed. "Well, we wanted a real mission…and we got exactly what we asked for. There's probably a lesson to be learned from all this…"

"Be careful what you wish for?" Max asked.

"No, I was thinking more along the lines of 'Never fight a Shadow Pokémon without an Aura Guardian for backup," Pichu said.

"That's…actually not a bad one," Matthias admitted. "We could certainly use Aaron right about now."

"But we don't have him, so I guess it's up to us to beat her…somehow," Max said.

"Well, at least we've got all our friends here to help us, so that's something, isn't it?" Pichu said optimistically.

"Unless they just get killed like the rest of us," Matthias said morosely.

"Don't talk like that! We can still win this!" Pichu said.

"You really think so?" Max asked.

"Sure!" Pichu said, not sure at all. "If we all pull together and work as a team, we can show not only those jerks, but everyone back in Pokémon Square that we have what it takes to be a Rescue Team after all…to make Team Awesome a viable reality! And, most importantly, to get me a name!" His friends sweatdropped.

"Well, I guess we don't have a choice…" Matthias sighed. "All right, I'm with you."

"Me too. If we work together, we have a higher chance of success," Max admitted.

Pichu grinned. "Then let's do this! Team Awesome, go!" He turned to the Tyranitar…

And was surprised to see everyone else was already attacking her. "Hey, why'd you start without us?" he demanded.

"She started attacking us five minutes ago! You were too busy talking with each other to notice!" Collette yelled as she dodged a Hyper Beam.

"Get over here and help us out already!" Junior yelled as he rammed into the Tyranitar's leg with Take Down, doing absolutely no damage.

Team Awesome sweatdropped. "Um, uh, sure thing. We're on our way!" Pichu said.

"In the future, we should probably cut down on how long our motivational team-building conversations are," Max said as they headed over to help their friends.

"On the other hand, if we make them long enough, maybe everyone else will defeat the bad guys before we need to lift a finger," Matthias said hopefully.

"Yeah, but then we'll never earn any accolades that way," Pichu said.

"Are they worth it?" Matthias asked.

Pichu rolled his eyes. "Uh, yeah? Geez, what kind of warrior are you? Sometimes I feel like we're not even related or something…"

"…We _aren't_ related! Your parents adopted me!" Matthias shouted.

"Eh, details," Pichu said indifferently, causing Matthias to facefault and Max to sigh.

And so, untested but eager to prove themselves (for the most part), Team Awesome rushed in to join the battle, while Team Skull cackled and the Rocket executives watched, their own mysterious scheme slowly coming closer to fruition. Would Team Awesome and the others manage to triumph and prove themselves to be the heroes they strived to be…or would they fail, learning the hard lesson that it takes more than courage and a willingness to do the right thing to triumph over evil?

…

Meanwhile, in Chroma Ruins…

"So, how have you enjoyed your stay in our humble abode so far?" the elder Gengar asked after Team Nightshade, the creepy Riolu, and Nefertiti (who, as it turned out, was a Ghost-type Pokémon called a Cofagrigus) entered his chamber, a torch-lit room with various well-worn ancient reliefs carved into the wall. The stones making up the underground chamber seemed to breath age, the tiles and blocks on the floor so ancient that they had rather deep ruts and impressions in them from where previous generations of tomb keepers had paced and walked while examining the art on the walls. "I apologize if our accommodations were not quite what you might expect from a regular settlement, but we denizens of the ruins have a, uh, rather different lifestyle from what you living folk of the outside world are used to."

"I quite liked it, actually," Evan said brightly. "The bedsss were niccce and comfy, and the little sssnacksss you left for usss to eat in the middle of the night were deliccciousss!"

"…You mean the disgusting beetles and worms that crawled into the coffins they put us in?" asked a grossed-out Mary.

"Yep!" Evan said, licking his lips.

"I couldn't sleep because the guy in the next sarcophagus kept trying to eat my brains," Jerry complained.

"Why didn't you simply shut the lid?" asked the puzzled Nefertiti.

"Because I was afraid I would suffocate," Jerry said.

"…Oh, right, you people need _air_," she said.

"I couldn't get any sleep either, because I kept hearing this voice in the back of my mind whispering about how it would kill me and drink my blood and suck the marrow from my bones," Mary said with a shudder.

"Oh, that's just Crazy Willy. Pay him no heed, he says that sort of stuff all the time," the Riolu said dismissively. Mary was not entirely reassured.

"Well, Janine and I had a good night together," Maren said. "Our coffin was nice and warm and cozy with both of us sharing it."

"Oh yes, it was very nice, quite a few of our younger residents enjoyed watching," the Gengar said.

There was a long pause. "Wait. You _watched _us?" Janine asked incredulously.

"Oh, not me, no, I'm old enough to know when to respect a couple's privacy. Some of our less mature spirits haven't figured that out yet, though, and decided to watch you going at it. It was very educational for them, most of them have never seen living people mate before," the Gengar said.

"Oh, Arceus," Maren whispered in horror.

"I'll kill them!" Janine howled.

"They're already dead," the Riolu reminded her.

"Then I'll kill them again!" the Ninjask snarled.

The Gengar chuckled and glanced at Gary. "And what about you, my boy?"

"Oh, it was wonderful! You guys really know how to show a dead guy a good time…which I guess makes sense, since you've got nobody but dead people down here. Well, except for your granddaughter over there," Gary said.

"And I intend to rectify that matter as soon as possible," the Riolu said. The Gengar gave her a disapproving look but said nothing.

"Anyway," Gary said. "Thanks for giving us a place to spend the night and some good grub to eat-"

"I'd have preferred our meal better if it hadn't been _actual_, you know, grubs," Mary said.

"And we're _especially_ grateful you didn't turn us into mummies," Gary finished.

The others nodded. "Yeah, definitely," Jerry said.

"That wouldn't have been pleasant," Janine agreed.

"On the other hand, we could have spent eternity together," Maren said wistfully.

"Don't worry dearest, I'll make sure you come back as a Ghost even if I have to kill you myself to keep you with me," Janine said, causing Maren to smile fondly while the others gave them weirded-out looks.

"ANYWAY," Gary said loudly. "Like I said, we appreciate your hospitality, but…I think it's time we got down to business. You have a Compass shard we need, and apparently some ancient prophecy we're supposed to fulfill."

"And a prophecy of salvation, not destruction. What's that about?" Mary wondered.

"Yeah, I'd figure any prophecccy featuring usss would be about usss dessstroying the world," Evan said sardonically.

"I'll be happy to explain," the Gengar said pleasantly. "But first, I believe some introductions are in order. My name is Cranger, and I am the leader of our little community of the undead. You have already met my granddaughters, Nefertiti and Callista." The two females bowed their heads at the group. "And I know who you all are, of course. The prophecy made sure of that, so there would be no mistaking your identities when the time finally came for you to arrive here."

"What, really?" asked the amazed Gary as everyone exchanged surprised looks.

"Certainly. Just look over there," Cranger said, pointing to one of the reliefs, which clearly depicted all six members of Team Nightshade, with their names written underneath. "The prophecy was very specific."

Team Nightshade stared at the relief in astonishment. "Okay, that's kind of creepy," Mary said.

"That thing's probably been here longer than we've been alive…and they knew we'd come here that long ago?" asked a stunned Maren.

"I don't think they got my eyesss right," Evan complained. "And they made your hipsss too ssskinny, Mary." Mary punched him, hard.

"Aren't prophecies supposed to be very vague and generally unhelpful? I don't think I've ever heard of one this clear about who's involved in it," Jerry said.

"I know, we were surprised too!" Cranger said. "Which just goes to show it must be a _really_ important prophecy, for the details to be given to us so precisely."

"And what was that prophecy again? Something about us resurrecting Lemewria or something?" Gary asked.

"Essentially, yes. I suppose I should give you a bit of a history lesson first, otherwise you will never understand the prophecy and what your place in it is," Cranger said.

"Isss thisss going to be a long ssstory? I have a very ssshort attention ssspan," Evan said.

"I'm afraid so," Cranger said apologetically.

"Laaaame!" Evan complained.

Callista drew her scythe and held it to Evan's neck. "You will sit down and listen to Grandfather's story, and you will like it. Is that clear?"

"Y-yesss, ma'am!" Evan stammered.

"Make yourselves comfortable, this will take a while," Nefertiti said to the others, who tried to find a good place to sit on the floor, not wanting to get their heads cut off or turned into mummies for refusing to comply.

"It all begins with Lemewria," Cranger said, floating into the air and drifting towards the reliefs on the wall, the images detailed there depicting the events he described. "Many, many, _many_ ages ago, the world was in turmoil, torn apart by constant warfare and disasters. The Holy Mother Mew descended from the Celestial Heavens and chose a person of noble heart in whom she invested a great deal of power and wisdom, helping him to found the great nation of Lemewria, a utopian civilization based on a continent floating high above the skies. With the power and technology the Lemewrians possessed, they were able to bring peace to the world and usher in a new golden age of prosperity."

"Wait…Mew founding a nation to bring peace to the world? This sounds a lot like the story of the Berry Kingdom," Maren commented.

"As well it should. You don't think that was the first time Mew tried to create a perfect society, do you?" Cranger said with a chuckle.

"How did they manage to get Lemewria into the air? I mean, a flying continent? That's gotta require a lot of power to keep in the skies," Mary asked.

"And a lot of power they had. Mew gifted the Lemewrians with a magnificent gemstone made of solid light taken from the heavens themselves, a Luminous Crystal which instilled peace and love in the hearts of all who beheld it. Its holy light energized Lemewria and gave power to all its magnificent devices and machines, and brought peace to the world as it shone down from on high. Everyone loved and rejoiced in the light…" His face fell. "But in the hearts of some, that love turned into desire, and desire turned into greed, and many began plotting to take the Crystal for themselves. One such wicked heart was the king of Pokelantis, an oceanic nation almost as mighty as Lemewria itself. Desiring the power of the Crystal so that he could dominate the world, he declared war on Lemewria, dispatching all his armadas and sea monsters to try and knock the floating continent out of the sky. A tremendous war broke out, one that threatened to engulf the entire world. Although the two great civilizations were virtually equal in technological advancement and magical might, ultimately Lemewria started to get the upper hand thanks to its air superiority and mobility. Growing desperate, the king of Pokelantis tried to capture Ho-Oh, hoping to use her to destroy Lemewria and claim the Crystal. However, this hubris proved to be his undoing, for in a rage Ho-Oh destroyed Pokelantis, bringing the conflict to an end with Lemewria as the ultimate victors."

"Well good, I'm glad that ended well!" Evan said cheerfully.

"That can't be the end of the story…Lemewria's not around now, so what happened next?" Jerry asked.

Cranger shook his head sadly. "Disaster struck. The Luminous Crystal, which had given power and life to Lemewria for centuries…was corrupted, becoming the Shadow Crystal, a stone of pure darkness that filled the hearts of people with evil rather than light."

"Oh dear," Janine said.

"What made that happen? It sounded like everything was going so well, too!" Gary said.

"Nobody's really sure," Callista said.

"Some say that Mew withdrew her favor from Lemewria due to the atrocities committed in the war, causing the Crystal to darken. Some say that the king of Lemewria himself grew as greedy as his vanquished foe, causing the Crystal to change. Others still say that it was the King of Pokelantis's dying curse, his final strike against Lemewria," Nefertiti said. "The answer has been lost to history. All that is certain is that the Crystal went dark, and as a result Lemewria turned from a paradise into a hell."

"Fearing that the darkness of the Crystal would spread out to engulf the entire world, the three princes of Lemewria sacrificed their lives to create three jewels, later known as the 'Tears of Princes,' which were able to mitigate and contain the Shadow Crystal's power. In the process, however, the Royal Seal of Lemewria, the control device that operated the flying continent's myriad systems and enchantments, was shattered, and without it, Lemewria fell from the heavens, no longer able to function properly. Almost everyone died in that great crash, as Lemewria sank beneath the waves, seemingly vanishing for all time," Cranger said.

"How sad…" Maren murmured.

"Eh, it'sss to be exxxpected really," Evan said flippantly. "All utopian ancient cccivilizzzatttionsss get the axxxe sssooner or later. Otherwissse there wouldn't be ssso many ancient ruinsss and artifactsss and sssealed evilsss for modern adventurersss like usss to deal with, and we'd be out of a job!"

"You said that 'almost' everyone died," Mary said, ignoring Evan. "What happened to the survivors?"

"The remaining Lemewrians, bearing the weakened Shadow Crystal and the three Tears, came to the region that would later be known as Almia, seeking refuge," Cranger said. "Traumatized and shattered by the loss of their home, the survivors wound up going their separate ways to start anew, each new tribe taking one of the mystical gems with them. A few wise and brave souls, realizing that this could mean the end of their civilization, tried for years to find the pieces of the Royal Seal, which had been scattered around the world. They believed that if they could find the Seal, they could use it and the Crystal to raise Lemewria from the ocean depths, and reunite their people. Sadly, although they found a few pieces, the rest were never found, and the seekers eventually died, and with them all hope of rebuilding Lemewria…"

"…Geez, that's depressing," Gary said.

"But you have a prophecy that says _we_ can rebuild it," Jerry said.

"Yes, _now_ we do. Our ancestors did not have the luxury of a prophecy at the time, though," Cranger said. "Giving up all hope on regaining their former glory, they tried instead to create a new future for themselves. The tribe that we are descended from settled here on the Chroma Highlands, building the ruins you see around you to contain and protect the Shadow Crystal so that nobody could use its power and so it's evil could not spread to infect the rest of Almia. To make sure it stayed safe, Darkrai, lord of death and darkness, appointed himself the protector of the Crystal."

"Oh, cool!" Gary said.

"Well, that's certainly a formidable defense," Maren commented.

"Yes, one even I would have difficulty circumventing," Janine agreed.

"Can we meet him? Isss he here now?" Evan asked hopefully.

"Unfortunately, no," Callista said. "He no longer resides in our home…which is a pity, because if anyone knows how to make me undead, it's him."

"Our tribe dwindled in the aftermath of Lemewria's fall. Eventually all the humans died off, and we Pokémon were all that remained," Nefertiti said. "Millennia passed…and then, in the days before the great cataclysm, a group of evil humans managed to overpower Darkrai and steal the Shadow Crystal."

"What? But Darkrai's the god of death! How could a bunch of humans beat him?" Janine asked incredulously.

"Eh, humans can be pretty clever when they try," Gary said knowingly.

Cranger nodded. "They tried to use the Shadow Crystal's power to conquer Almia, using its power to fill the hearts of all the region's Pokémon with evil…but fortunately, a brave hero managed to stop them by retrieving the three Tears of Princes and using their combined power to not just neutralize the Shadow Crystal, but _purify_ it too, so that it was the Luminous Crystal again, and radiated peace and light rather than evil."

"Oh, well, thank goodness for that, then," Jerry said.

"Wait…they _purified_ the Crystal? Why couldn't they do that before?" Maren asked.

Cranger shrugged. "We aren't sure. Some think that it had something to do with the hero's heart…that it was pure enough to counter the Crystal's darkness and remind it of what it once was, while the hearts of our ancestors had been too tainted by the sin of the ancient war or proximity to the Crystal itself to have the same effect. Or it might have been something else entirely. Whatever the reason, the Crystal was restored, and it looked as if there might yet be hope for the rebirth of Lemewria, or an even greater civilization."

"And then the great disaster happened?" Mary asked.

"And then the great disaster happened," Callista said.

"In the wake of the planet's rearrangement, the regions of Fiore and Almia were combined into the continent we now know as Almiore," Cranger said. "But in the process, the Luminous Crystal and the Tears of Princes were lost, and our ancestors' hopes of creating a new Lemewria were once again lost. But Darkrai, visiting us for one last time, gave us a prophecy that promised our dreams might yet be realized one day. He said that many years from then, a group of heroes unsure of themselves but with potential yet untapped would come to these ruins, and that they would be the ones who would reassemble the Royal Seal, find the Luminous Crystal, and lead to the resurrection of Lemewria, which would usher in a new era of limitless bounty and prosperity. He told us that we were to help you in any way we could, for you would need it to fulfill your destiny and make the future he spoke of a reality."

"…Wait, so the god of death and darkness said we're supposed to bring in a new golden age?" Mary asked skeptically. "Isn't that kind of oxymoronic?"

"Hey, Darkrai'sss no moron!" Evan said, causing her to facepalm.

"Um, I don't mean to question Darkrai, but are you sure you have the right people?" Jerry asked. "I mean, yeah, we're trying to be heroes, but…I think we're on a completely different quest from this thing you're talking about."

"Yes, we're trying to rescue Princess Sara from the Berry King by gathering the pieces of the Magnificent Compass, not finding the Royal Seal and Luminous Crystal," Maren said. "I mean, I guess we could start on this other adventure after we're done with the current one, but-"

Cranger burst into laughter, startling them. "You still have not figured it out?"

"Uh, figured what out?" Gary asked.

"The two quests are one and the same!" Callista said. "The Royal Seal of Lemewria and the Magnificent Compass is the same artifact. By finding the pieces of the Compass, you bring the Royal Seal closer to completion!"

They stared at her incredulously. "Wait, what?" Gary asked.

"No way," Mary said in disbelief. "No way! That's…that's too convenient to possibly be true! Especially for us!"

"And besssidesss, it'sss a _compasss_, not a Royal Ssseal," Evan pointed out.

Maren nodded. "Yes, all it does is find things, and supposedly point the way to your heart's desire. If it had the power to control an ancient flying continent, I'd think we'd know about it…wouldn't we?"

"And you said the Seal's pieces were scattered around the world and lost…but we've found all the pieces of the Compass right here in Almiore," Janine added.

"Yes, the Seal was shattered…many thousands of years ago," Cranger pointed out. "It was a long time ago. The world has changed a lot since then. Plenty of time for the pieces of the Crest to be moved, exchanged from hand to hand over countless generations, and eventually wind up in Almiore. It's less of a coincidence than you might think…the pieces of the Crest are drawn together. After all, why else would you be able to use the base they were once all set in to locate the rest?"

"…Huh. I guess that makes sense," Gary admitted.

"Wait, no it doesn't! It's a _Compass_, not a Royal Seal!" Maren protested. "And I know what royal seals look like, we've got a very nice one back in Mirage Kingdom!"

"And I thought the story behind the Compass was that it was broken apart to keep it from being used by evil, not in some great battle in a flying continent," Janine added.

"Stories have a habit of being changed and twisted as the years go by and people embellish or remove details, to the point where sometimes the original tale is almost completely forgotten," Nefertiti said. "That would appear to be the case with the Magnificent Compass, and why you believe it to be a Compass, not the Royal Seal."

"But it _is_ a Compass! It has a base and a needle, and the pieces we've been collecting are just bits of glass!" Mary protested. "Gary, show them!"

"Uh, sure. Here," Gary said, taking out the Compass. "No offense, but it doesn't look very Royal to me."

The three ruins guardians stared at the Compass in awe. "On the contrary," Cranger said reverently. "I can think of nothing more fitting for a civilization like Lemewria."

"What do you mean?" Jerry asked.

"Think about it. Lemewria was a flying continent, and the Royal Seal was what controlled it. What better form could something like that take than a navigational instrument?" Cranger said. "To pilot something as big as a flying continent, you need to always know where you're going and where you came from. A compass guides travelers, always telling them where they are, and what direction they need to go to reach their destination. Can you think of a better object than a compass to guide the fates of an entire airborne nation, drifting on the wind?"

"Yesss," Evan said. "How about a map?"

"Or one of those things they have in planes that can tell you air pressure or how high up you are?" Janine said.

"Or a steering wheel," Jerry said.

"Or maybe-" Mary started.

"Look, that's not what the Lemewrians thought of, so for whatever reason, they decided to make it a compass," Cranger said testily.

"And if you still don't believe it, look over there," Callista said, pointing to a relief next to the one of Team Nightshade that clearly depicted the Magnificent Compass, with the words 'Royal Seal of Lemewria' written under it.

"Oh," Mary said.

"Well, I guess that settles that question," Gary said.

"But what about the story of the Compass—er, Seal, or whatever—being able to lead to the heart's desire? Was that part wrong too?" Maren asked, somewhat disappointed.

"Not wrong, just…misinterpreted," Cranger said. "After all, the heart's desire of the original seekers of the Seal was to use it to resurrect Lemewria. After they died, word of their quest became garbled to the point where it was believed the Seal had the power to find _anyone's_ heart's desire."

"Oh," Maren said. "I…guess that makes sense."

"But that must mean…you said you had a piece of the Compass. That means it's a piece of the Royal Seal!" Gary realized. "How did you get it, if it was lost?"

"Simple, one of our ancestors found it," Nefertiti said.

"But it was the _only_ one they were able to find," Cranger said sadly. "It's only more recently that the remaining pieces all wound up on the same continent."

"But the piece my village had has been in our possession for centuries," Jerry said.

"Same with the one in Pueltown, and the Mirage Kingdom, and…heck, pretty much every other place we've been in," Mary pointed out.

"When I say 'recently', I mean in the last several hundred years or so. Remember, Lemewria fell a _very_ long time ago, and it's been almost as long since then that one of the Crest pieces was brought here," Cranger said.

"Then how come you guys didn't just go and collect the other pieces once they came to Almiore?" Gary asked.

"Because it would be almost impossible to locate them all without the base," Callista said. "Even though the pieces are drawn together by a desire to be whole again, only the base would allow a seeker to properly interpret the locations of the other fragments. However, the prophecy said that the heroes who would reunite the Crest would control the base, so we decided it would be best to wait for you to show up and protect the piece in our keeping until then. Some of us were not happy to wait for so long, however, and ventured out to try and find the missing pieces on their own…including my sister. Those who came back were empty-handed and disappointed, while all the rest never returned."

"But now all these centuries of waiting and hoping have at last come to fruition…you have collected almost every piece of the Crest, and once you have obtained it and the Luminous Crystal, you can raise Lemewria from the depths and into the skies once again!" Cranger said joyously.

"Neat," Evan said.

"Which means we just need to get your piece and the piece that was in Princess Sara's crown to finish this thing…" Gary muttered. "Hey, you don't think that's why she was kidnapped, do you? To trick us into bringing a nearly completed Compass—er, Royal Seal—into the Berry King's hands so he could use it to resurrect Lemewria?"

"…Could be," Maren admitted.

"But the Berry King is a good person, isn't he?" Jerry said. "All the stories say so. So if he wanted to remake Lemewria, what could be wrong with that?"

"If he's a good person, why would he have kidnapped the Princess in the first place?" Mary pointed out.

"Yeah, he could have jussst asssked for the pieccce if her crown," Evan said.

"Actually, he couldn't," Janine said. "The crown Princess Sara wears is an ancient heirloom of the Mirage Kingdom royal family used to ensure chastity. It is put on a Princess's brow when she reaches sexual maturity, and there it will remain, magically locked in place and generating a…force of sorts that will prevent her from losing her virginity until her marriage. Once she is legitimately wed, the crown will release itself from her head so that she may consummate her marriage properly, and it can then be placed on the head of the next princess in line."

"…Which could explain why he wants to marry the Princess, since then he could take the Crest piece from her crown!" Maren gasped.

"Wait, would that count as a 'legitimate' marriage?" Mary asked skeptically. "He abducted her, after all."

"I think it depends on how you define 'legitimate,'" Janine said.

Callista nodded. "Yes, there's always tons of loopholes in spells like that which the clever can exploit. If the Berry King truly desires the Crest piece, I have no doubt he will find a way to obtain it."

"Oh," Gary said. He frowned. "I'm starting to get a bit of a bad vibe from this…maybe we should reconsider. If we go for Princess Sara, won't we be bringing the nearly-finished Crest to the Berry King?"

"Perhaps we could leave the Crest here?" Janine suggested. "We already know where Princess Sara is being held, thanks to the process of elimination. If the denizens of these ruins have been protecting one piece of the Crest for this long, surely they can protect a few more for a while longer until we deal with the Berry King, save the Princess, and retrieve the last piece?"

"Hey yeah, that's a great idea!" Gary said.

"Yes, except that it won't work," Nefertiti said.

Everyone looked at her in surprise. "Huh? What do you mean?" Evan asked.

Cranger sighed. "You and the Mirage Kingdom soldiers are not the only visitors we have received recently seeking our piece of the Crest. For you see, while the prophecy foretold that you six would be the ones to reunite Crest and Crystal and raise Lemewria…it also spoke of another seeker of the lost continent, an evil force which seeks to create an age of darkness rather than one of light. We call him 'The Faceless One.'"

"Why?" Jerry asked.

"Because he doesn't have a face," Callista said, pointing to an image of a cloaked figure that indeed did not appear to have a face. He was surrounded by strange Pokémon that almost looked like they were on fire…but there was something _odd_ about the flames, like they weren't actually flames at all but some other form of energy. A dark energy…

"Oh," Jerry said.

"He has dispatched his forces in repeated assaults against our home over the last month, trying to penetrate our defenses and claim our piece of the Crest," Nefertiti said. "We have managed to repel him so far, but we cannot hold out forever. If you leave the Crest pieces you have collected so far, there is a _very_ good chance he will manage to take them from us while you are away."

"Whereas on the other hand, if you take the pieces with you to fight the Berry King, we can at least assume his intentions, whatever they may be, are purer than the Faceless One, if all the stories about him are true, and we see no reason to believe they aren't," Cranger said. "So if he manages to take the pieces from you, the end result will probably be nowhere near as bad as if the Faceless One did."

"The lesser of two evils, huh?" Maren murmured.

"I suppose we have no choice, then," Janine said reluctantly.

Gary sighed. "Well, all right, you guys are the experts on this subject. If you say this is our best option, then…okay, we'll take your Crest piece. But once we have them, how are we supposed to find the Luminous Crystal, and Lemewria itself?"

"That, thankfully, will be a much easier task than reassembling the Crest," Cranger said.

Nefertiti nodded. "Our ancestors memorized the precise coordinates where Lemewria fell in hopes that we, their descendants, would one day be able to locate and revive it. Since you, the ones spoken of in prophecy, have finally arrived, we can at long last put those coordinates to use to find and raise Lemewria from the ocean floor."

"As for the Crystal, once you assemble the Crest, it will guide you to it," Callista said.

"It will?" Mary asked. "But I thought it didn't actually have the power to find your heart's desire."

"Which sssucksss, becaussse I wasss gonna ussse it to find Hissssssa!" Evan complained.

"You will see her again," Cranger assured him.

"How do you know?" Evan asked miserably.

"Because the prophecy said so," the Gengar said, pointing to a picture of Evan being reunited with a several-headed Seviper.

"Oh, wow! And ssshe even grew sssome exxxtra headsss! That'sss ssso sssexxxy!" Evan hissed eagerly.

"…Wow, this sure is a convenient prophecy," Maren said.

"Would you prefer the vaguely-worded ones which never make any sense until it's too late to heed their warning?" Nefertiti asked.

"No, I guess not," Maren admitted.

"But back to Mary's question…no, the Crest can't find objects…at least, it can't in the hands of an ordinary person," Callista said. "When used by a member of the royal family of Lemewria, however, it can be used to pinpoint and locate just about anything. It is the _royal_ crest, after all."

"Oh. That makes sense," Mary said.

"But where are we going to get a member of the royal family of Lemewria?" Gary asked.

"You're looking at her," Callista said.

Gary did a double-take. "Buh?"

"Wait, what?" Jerry said.

"Our tribe is descended from survivors from Lemewria, remember?" Cranger said. "Among those survivors was some of the royal family. Callista is the last living remnant of that ancient bloodline, now that her sister's gone. She is, in fact, heir to the throne of Lemewria…or will be, once there's actually a throne for her to sit in."

"Oh, cool!" Evan said.

"Wait…but…were the rulers of Lemewria Pokémon or-" a confused Mary said.

"I don't think we really need to know all the specifics," Gary said loudly. "So…Callista, that makes you what, a princess or something?"

"Ssshould we be bowing?" Evan asked.

"Well, Maren and Janine seem to be," Jerry commented.

"Considering I don't even have a kingdom yet, that is rather premature and unnecessary," Callista said, somewhat embarrassed. Maren and Janine blushed and straightened. They were so conditioned from their training to act that way around royalty they'd bowed without even thinking about it.

"Callista shall go with you once you have retrieved the Crest piece we keep and depart to find the last piece," Cranger said. "Her Aura skills and master of necromancy should come in handy."

"And you will require me to activate the Crest so that we can find the Luminous Crystal and, ultimately, resurrect Lemewria," Callista said.

"Well, I can't see any downside to having someone who was strong enough to defeat us on our team-" Gary said.

"Like that's hard?" Mary muttered under her breath.

"So welcome to Team Nightshade, Callista!" Gary said, pretending he hadn't heard the Medicham's comment.

The Riolu bowed her head. "I am honored to be included among the ranks of such brave heroes as yourselves." Evan had to bite his own tail to keep from bursting into raucous laughter at that very ill-informed statement.

"It is my hope that going out into the wide world and getting a taste of leadership will help her put aside this idea of becoming undead," Cranger said.

"Grandfather, we've been over this…" Callista said, rolling her eyes.

"Callista, I have no problem with you wanting to stay here forever, it's a nice enough place to dwell and nobody really wants to say goodbye to family, but if you die, or become undead, all hope of truly resurrecting Lemewria is lost," Cranger said sternly. "If you _must_ become undead, couldn't you at least lay some eggs first?"

"I'd be happy to, but you've nixed all my choices for prospective mates so far!" Callista said in annoyance.

"That would probably be because all of them are undead, which means any children you have would be Ghosts, which would leave us with the exact same problem as before," the elder Gengar said. He glanced at Gary. "I don't suppose you could find my granddaughter a trustworthy, preferably _living_ mate while you're out there, could you? Every queen needs a consort, after all."

"_Grandfather!_" Callista said sharply. Nefertiti snickered.

"Uh, we'll…uh…see what we can do, sir," Gary said awkwardly.

"Right…all this family drama aside…can you give us your Crest piece already so we can get started on this enormous extra task you've dropped on us?" Mary asked.

Cranger grimaced. "Ah, well…therein lies the problem."

Everyone groaned. "Of course," Maren said miserably. "I knew it couldn't be that easy."

"Let me guesss, the Cressst piece wasss ssstolen?" Evan asked.

"Or is being guarded by an incredibly powerful and dangerous monster?" Janine asked.

"Or is lost in the ruins somewhere, and we have to navigate a torturous and trap-laden labyrinth to get it?" Jerry asked.

"Oh no, nothing like that," Cranger said. "We know exactly where the Crest piece is, its just, well, _getting_ it that's a bit of a problem. Since it was the only Crest piece they were able to find, our ancestors wanted to make absolutely sure they didn't lose it, so they did the only thing they could think of to ensure its safety: they hid it in a Mirror of Truth."

"A what now?" Gary asked.

"Oh, aren't thossse the magic mirrorsss that ssshow you your 'true reflectttion' or sssomething when you look in them?" Evan asked.

"Wonder what they'd show us if we looked in them?" Mary muttered.

"Well, I assume we're going to have to to get the Crest piece, am I right?" Maren asked.

Cranger nodded. "Mirrors of Truth not only show you your inner self, they can also be used to learn a great truth about yourself…sometimes a truth you might not like to hear. To retrieve the Crest piece, one of you must go inside the world contained within the Mirror and confront such a truth. If you can accept it, you will achieve a measure of inner peace and understanding as well as gaining the penultimate piece of the Crest. If you fail…well, there's a good chance the truth will drive you completely insane. However, since you're all chosen ones, I'm sure you'll have no problem passing the trial of the Mirror, since as destined heroes surely you have no great skeletons hiding in your metaphorical closets that you've been avoiding for a long time, right?"

All of Team Nightshade exchanged uncomfortable looks. "Um. No. Nothing like that at all," Mary lied anxiously.

"I will take the trial," Janine said. "I already know everything there is to know about myself. There are no truths it can show me that I am not already fully aware of and completely comfortable with."

"Actually, that means you're completely ineligible to take the trial," Nefertiti said. "Mirrors are designed to grant people insight. If you already possess that insight, then there's nothing it can do for you, and so you can't attempt its challenge."

"Oh," Janine said, somewhat disgruntled.

"I'll do it," Jerry said, seeing the others' hesitations. "Whatever truths there are for me to learn about myself, I'm sure I can handle it."

"No," Gary said. "I'll go."

"What?" Mary said in surprise. "But Gary, you can't-"

"I'm the leader of this team, and there's nothing I would let a teammate do that I wasn't fully willing to do myself," the Gengar said firmly. "We're trying to make up for our past and take responsibility for our mistakes. If that requires letting a magic mirror tell me there's something wrong with me, then fine, what's one more flaw for me to worry about? It's just another thing for me to work on improving."

"But, but Gary-" Evan protested.

"My decision is final," Gary said decisively. "I'm going in. Nobody else is going to risk their lives, or their sanity, because of me. Is that clear?" The others looked at him uncomfortably. They wanted to argue, but…on some level, they were relieved that he was going to do this instead of them. They weren't sure they really wanted to find out just how ugly they all were on the inside. This made them feel all the guiltier, of course.

Cranger nodded approvingly. "An admirable decision. Just what I would expect from a hero of legend…though it wasn't really necessary, the prophecy said you were going to be the one who'd go into the Mirror and get the Crest piece."

"It does?" Gary asked in surprise.

"Sure, see?" Cranger said, pointing to a picture of Gary walking out of a giant mirror carrying a small piece of glass, a triumphant grin on his face.

"Oh! Well, that's reassuring," Gary said in relief.

"This has to be one of the clearest and most useful prophecies I've ever heard of," said an amazed Maren.

"Isss there anything elssse it sssaysss that you haven't mentioned?" Evan asked.

"Hmm, let me see…" the elder Gengar examined the walls. "No, no, I'm pretty sure we've covered everything important."

"Good," Gary said. "So, is there anything we need to do to get this show on the road?"

"No, we just need to go to the Mirror Chamber. The rest is pretty much self-evident," Cranger said.

"Great. Then let's go!" Gary said.

"What, you want to do it _now?_" Mary asked incredulously.

"Yes, before I lose my nerve and change my mind," he murmured in reply.

Cranger nodded. "Very good. Callista, escort them to the Chamber please. I will meet you there." He phased through the floor and disappeared.

The Riolu sighed. "I wish I could do that. Oh well, maybe some day. Come along." She led them out of the room, taking them down twisting corridor after twisting corridor as they headed deeper into the crypt. The Ghosts, zombies, mummies, and other undead that dwelled in the ruins paused as they passed by and looked curiously after them, no doubt wondering what they were up to.

"I must say, I'm impressed by your courage," Nefertiti said as she floated up next to Gary. "The last person who volunteered to go into the Mirror of Truth…well, he made it back out, but not in one piece."

"What happened to him?" Gary asked anxiously.

"Oh, he became Crazy Willy," Nefertiti said. Gary's eyes bulged.

"Starting to lose your nerve?" Mary whispered as Nefertiti floated away.

"A little," Gary muttered.

"If you're having second thoughts, I'm willing-" Jerry started.

"No," Gary interrupted. "I said I was gonna do this, so I'm gonna do this. That's that." Mary frowned, but did not challenge him.

"You know, I think he might be the right one to do this after all," Maren said to Janine.

"How do you mean?" Janine asked.

"While everyone in this group is aware of their problems, nobody is as conscious of and willing to fix them as Gary," Maren explained. "He's changed a lot since we've started this thing. If anyone can face the truth about himself, its Gary…because he already suspects what it might be, and is willing to change it, no matter how horrible it might be."

"…You know," Janine said. "I think you might be right. Perhaps…he _does_ have what it takes to be a hero of legend after all. Maybe the prophecy was right to choose him…"

"Well, it has been so far," Maren said.

"I wonder what the future it speaks of holds for us?" Janine wondered.

"Whatever it is, we'll find a place in it…" Maren said, grabbing Janine's hand and offering her a smile. "Together." Janine smiled back. (At least, Maren was pretty sure she did. The lack of mouthparts similar to hers made it hard to tell sometimes).

…

Meanwhile, in the northeastern corner of Sinnorre…

The trees rustled and the grass trembled as a Dragonite bearing passengers swooped down through a hole in the forest canopy and landed on the ground, the wind from his passage sending all the foliage aflutter. As Wabbaku and Gardenia slid off his back, the Dragonite shimmered and shrunk down into the pink form of Mondo the Ditto. "Well, here we are: Treeshroud Forest, just like you said! Aptly named, huh?" he said.

"Yeah, really…" Gardenia said in awe as she stared up at the thick trees surrounding them which towered up for hundreds and hundreds of feet before terminating in a huge mass of interwoven branches and leaves so thick it all but blotted out the sky, rays of light shining through ever-shifting chinks in the canopy. "It's beautiful!"

"And full of life, as I had hoped it would be," Wabbaku said, inhaling the fresh air. "I chose wisely in directing the Caretakers of the Tree of Beginning to this place."

"Speaking of which, where are they?" Gardenia asked, glancing around.

"You're looking in the wrong place. Look up," Wabbaku said, pointing at the trees.

Gardenia looked higher up the trunks and was surprised to see that what she had initially taken to be a series of low branches and knots around the trees' midsection were actually a complex network of bridges and walkways linking dozens of wooden huts and shacks and treehouses placed against the trunks. Dozens of Pokémon were standing on those walkways, staring down at them in surprise and more than a little fear. "Oh, wow! They sure have done a lot of work in a short time, huh?"

"Yeah, real industrious little tree-huggers, considering they must have only started out for here a couple of weeks ago," Mondo commented. He frowned when he saw most of the villagers scrambling closer to the buildings hanging from the tree trunks as several burlier warrior-types moved into places on the walkways, aiming bows and spears and slings and powering up a number of projectile attacks at them. "Uh-oh. This doesn't look good."

"You there! What are you doing here?" the leader of the warriors, an angry-looking Sentret, shouted down at the ex-Rockets. "This is the village of the Caretaker tribe! If you mean us harm, you will swiftly forget it, for we have already lost one home to invaders, and have no intention of letting that tragedy occur again!"

"Nor would I, especially since I am the one who told you to come to this place from the ruins of your old home," Wabbaku shouted up in reply. "I am the shaman Wabbaku. Perhaps you remember me, perhaps you do not, but I am certain your leader Michael Treesentinel does. I need to speak with him at once, for a great evil stalks Sinnorre and only he can help me put it to rest."

The Sentret blinked in surprise. "You are Wabbaku? The sage who told us of this place that has become our new home?"

"Well, I wouldn't call myself a _sage_ exactly, but-" Wabbaku started.

"Stand down!" the Sentret barked to the other warriors, who relaxed as the rest of the villagers pushed back onto the walkways, looking down at the Wobbuffet in awe. "Wabbaku is our friend, as are any who would accompany him. I am sure Michael would be happy to see you again. I shall take you to him personally, after which I insist you stay for a feast to celebrate your arrival and to thank you for guiding us to Treeshroud Forest."

Wabbaku rubbed the back of his head Mareepishly. "That…that's not necessary. I mean, I didn't do that much, Michael led you all the way here."

"Yes, but we would not have even known to come here were it not for your wise advise which helped him to regain faith in himself and find the strength to lead us here. For that, you shall always hold a place of honor in our tribe's history, second only to Team Aurabolt, the great heroes who liberated us from the evil responsible for destroying our original home and killing the previous Protector!" the Sentret said. The other villagers cheered, clearly agreeing with this sentiment.

"They're right to want to honor you," Gardenia said to the embarrassed Wabbaku. "You've done a lot for these people."

"It didn't seem like that much at the time…" Wabbaku murmured.

"Maybe not to you, but it sure did to them! Enough that they're gonna throw us a feast!" Mondo said eagerly, licking his lips. "Which I sure could use, I'm starving after the long flight it took for us to get here!"

They were raised up into the treehouses by a surprisingly sophisticated wooden elevator that operated on a system of weights and pulleys. Once they were high off the ground, the Sentret and the other warriors closed ranks around Wabbaku and the others to keep them from being mobbed by the rest of the villagers, who were eager to get a look at the shaman whom they seemed to regard as their savior. "You have no idea how happy we are to see you here, Wise One. As you can see, we have managed to make a good place for ourselves in the short time we've been here, a place we can be proud to call home," the Sentret said as he guided them towards the chieftain's hut where Michael resided.

"How did you get all this done so fast?" asked an amazed Gardenia.

"With a lot of work and the will to prevail. The loss of the Tree of Beginning was very hard on us, and more than a few of our number perished or took their own lives on the long and sometimes strenuous journey here," the Sentret admitted. "Which made us all the more determined to survive, to make a new life for ourselves, and to ensure that the injustice which befell us once will never happen again."

"You have done well," Wabbaku said. "I am sorry to hear that you did not all make it, though. I knew there was a chance some of you would not survive, but…I had hoped…"

"As did we," the Sentret admitted sadly. "There has been far too much death in recent months. But we are doing our best to turn away from our sorrow and embrace life. You may have noticed how fit and healthy we are compared to when you last encountered us, and how many new children we have? We are doing our best to replenish our numbers. This forest has reenergized us, and we intend to return the favor by doing what we do best: caring for these trees, which have sheltered us just as the Tree of Beginning once did. Just because we are far from our place of origin does not mean we cannot still be Caretakers, no?"

"No indeed," Wabbaku said, pleased by how well the Caretakers had adjusted to their new habitat.

Soon enough they reached Michael's hut, which naturally was a bit larger and more ornate than the others, with several carvings and fetishes and little bits of life crystal placed on its walls. "The Protector and his oracles are inside," the Sentret told them. "I hope that your reunion is as joyous as ours was at seeing you, and that whatever business you have come here to discuss with him will be resolved satisfactorily."

"As do I, my friend. As do I," Wabbaku said as they entered the hut, leaving their escort.

The interior of the hut was warm and bright, lit by shafts of light coming through various hatches that had been made in the ceiling. The walls were lined with a number of carvings and paintings of Michael and some of the previous Protectors of the Tree of Beginning, along with many images of the Tree itself. Paint had also been applied to the walls and floor in patterns Wabbaku immediately recognized as signs in the language of the spirits. The back wall had a couple of doors in it leading into other chambers, with a low dais placed between them that had a crude but beautiful tapestry depicting the Tree of Beginning hanging behind it.. Lounging on that dais was a Leafeon with a red crystal embedded in his forehead and a collar made of chips of wood and life crystal, a Plusle and Minun with their eyes stitched shut standing on either side of him. All of them had tattoos similar to the markings on the walls painted on their fur, and all of them looked much healthier and in better shape than the last time they'd seen them. (Well, except for Pipi and Mimi not having eyes, but that couldn't be helped.) "Wabbaku!" the young Leafeon said excitedly as he got up off the dais and walked over to the Wobbuffet. "It is good to see you, my friend! It has been too long."

"Michael, it's only been a couple of weeks," Wabbaku said with a laugh.

"Has it really? It feels like so much longer…years, really, since we left the ruins of the Mystifying Forest," Michael said, his eyes turning sad for a moment as he remembered how they had been forced into exile from the place of their birth.

"What with all the work you've been doing constructing this village and forming a new society, I can easily imagine how one could lose track of time," Wabbaku said. "You have done well here, my friend, and I am gratified that the spirits were right in choosing this place to be your new home."

"As am I!" Michael said. "And speaking of spirits…I'm sure you've noticed something different about me?"

"Um…you got a haircut?" Mondo guessed.

"No doofus, the crystal in his forehead isn't cracked anymore!" Gardenia hissed.

Michael nodded. "That is correct. When I absorbed the energy of the forest through photosynthesis to replenish my strength after the long journey here, it mended my crystal and restored my connection to the spirit world, allowing me to converse with my ancestors once more…including my grandmother, the latest addition to their number, whose soul I had feared lost due to the tortures and degradations visited upon her by Doctor Tarantulas. And…what you said about them not hating me for what happened or thinking I was a failure…you were right. They forgave me for the death of the Tree, and said I did the best job a Protector possibly could have done in that terrible situation."

"I am glad to hear it, as well as to see how well you have all acclimatized to this place," Wabbaku said. He hesitated, then reluctantly said, "Which is why I am sorry to bring bad news to your doorstep…and possibly drag you away from your people and the haven you have built here, and back into the dangers of the wider world."

Michael frowned in alarm. "Why? What is the matter?"

"If your connection to the spirit world has been restored, then you no doubt felt the disturbance a few days ago…the wailing and agony of the spirits as an evil long-buried was released upon the land," Wabbaku said gravely.

Michael grimaced and nodded. "Yes…I felt it. The screams of the ancestors was so great I felt like my head would split open. What…what is the nature of this evil?"

"It's a really big ugly serpent that looks like it's made out of corpses," Mondo said. "Lots and lots of corpses. Oh, and it's being commanded by some weirdo demon who loves games, can warp reality, and looks sorta like the Holy Mother for some reason."

Gardenia nodded. "Yeah, that about sums it up."

"The beast is named Leviathan, and it is commanded by a demon called 'Mewgle,'" Wabbaku said. "At present they stalk the land, devouring souls and seeking out one I believe you are familiar with…a Squirtle named Leo DeKappa."

Michael gasped. "Leo? Of Team Aurabolt?"

Wabbaku nodded. "I'm afraid so."

"Why…why is he after Leo? Why do they want my friends?" Michael asked in alarm.

"According to the spirits, there is a long history between Leo and Mewgle," Wabbaku said. "Throughout the eons, their past incarnations have battled in countless games with nothing less than the fate of the cosmos at stake. Leo has always thwarted Mewgle before, but with the power of Leviathan at his command, Mewgle might be able to tip the scales in his favor. And if Mewgle prevails, there will be none left who can stop him, for Leo is the only being in all of reality who can truly defeat Mewgle once and for all."

"No…not Leo…" Michael whispered. A determined look on his face, he glanced up at Wabbaku. "I can't allow that to happen, not to my friends! How can we stop Mewgle?"

"When I leave Treeshroud Forest, I will go to a place called Aegis Cave far to the south of here, where the Unown dwell," Wabbaku explained. "As the spirits can tell you, a great power is buried there…an ancient and mighty spirit who knows Mewgle of old, and who may be able to balance the scales once more if it were to be released and allowed to help Leo against its ancient enemy. I intend to awaken this great being, but I cannot do it alone. I will need another who possesses the power to commune with spirits like I can…in short, I need you, Michael."

"M-me?" Michael stammered.

"Yes," Wabbaku said apologetically. "I am sorry to ask this of you, to drag you away from your new home and your friends and all the people who need you…but without your help, I cannot awaken the power in Aegis Cave, and without it, Leo, and possibly the entire world, will fall to Mewgle. Will you come with me, Michael, to face adventure and great danger once more…in the hopes that it will save your friends?"

Michael knew what his reply was before Wabbaku even finished asking. "Of course I'll come help you. What do I need to do to stop Mewgle?"

…

To be continued…

…

And on that note, it's time to end this ridiculously long chapter, which, as always, tops the last one as being the longest to date. I'm sorry it took so long to get it done, but what with Africa, video games, laziness, and the beginning of school again I've been busy. However, I managed to get it done all the same, and hopefully the next chapter will be up in less time than it took to do this one, and with hopefully fewer pages. (Although I wouldn't hold my breath on that one.)

A lot of interesting things happened this chapter that are going to need to be resolved next time. What did you think of all the battles and other big events that took place this chapter? Was it worth the wait?


	53. Fire and Ice

Are you ready for a chapter even COOLER than the last one? Because I know I am!

Having to deal with school and homework left me with less time than I liked to write this, but I did my best to find the time to work, anyway. The result is before you…and waaaaayyyy longer than I thought it would be. How do I keep doing this, you ask? I honestly don't have a clue. I hope you can find time to sit and read it all, because trust me, it's going to take a while.

And oh, if you thought THIS part of the train ride was awesome…wait'll you see what I have in store for the future…

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me. I'd list everything that I've appropriated/ripped-off, but that would take too long and honestly, do any of you care?

This chapter is dedicated to the people of Japan who are suffering as a result of the recent earthquake and nuclear disaster. Our hearts go out to you in this time of troubles.

…

Things did not look good for the heroes who had chosen to help Fantina liberate the dead town of Dusty Ditch from the icy clutches of Fimbulvinter. After seeing how easily they had routed her army, the evil witch Bellum had summoned the mightiest creatures the frigid realm of Niflheim had to offer…the towering frost giants, creatures so big that even the snowy mountains surrounding the valley seemed small in comparison. What hope did the much, _much_ smaller warriors and mages have against such an awesome force like that?

"What hope do we much, _much_ smaller warriors and mages have against such an awesome force like them?" Zippo cried in disbelief. "They're so…_big!_ I don't think that I could scratch them, even if I still had the Flame Plate!"

Leo frowned in thought, scanning the frost giants with his sunglasses for any sign of a weak spot. The results were not promising. "What _can_ we do?" he murmured, mind racing. There had to be some way to beat those monstrosities. Surely he'd planned for something like this, hadn't he?

Unfortunately, try as he might, he couldn't think of anything that might work. He had considered the possibility they might run into giants, but he'd never imagined they'd be this, well, _gigantic._ What did he have that could possibly be of use against something of that size? There was nothing in his shell that could possibly-

Wait. "That's it!" Leo cried, taking out the modified Thermonuke.

"Uh, dudette, that thing's busted, remember?" Zippo said with a frown. "And even if it weren't, I'm not sure it could do much more than give those things a small burn."

"Normally, it wouldn't…" Leo agreed as he took out some tools and began tinkering with the machine. "But…with the right adjustments and repairs, we can turn it into something that has a shot at killing one of those things."

Zippo frowned. "What are you talking about, dudette?"

Leo looked up at the Charmeleon and grinned. "They have really tough exteriors…but do you think their insides are quite as insulated?"

Behind his sunglasses, Zippo's eyes widened in understanding. He burst into laughter. "Babe, I've already told you that if we weren't both in relationships and you weren't so much older than me, I'd totally do you, right?"

Leo paused, a little disturbed. "Um, yes, something like that…"

"Heh, just checking." Zippo took out his own toolkit. "All right! Let's get to work!" The two nerds eagerly took to their task, combining their mechanical know-how to repair the busted Thermonuke…and make it into something totally new…

Not everyone was quite as optimistic in the face of this incredible danger as they were, however. "It's hopeless," Rebecca murmured, blind eyes staring at the encroaching giants in dismay. "My spirits have fled me. I doubt I could hypnotize something that big. How can we hope to stand against such monsters?"

"There is one way," Cherry said as she walked over to the Hypno, seeming completely unruffled by the constant tremors as the giants approached.

Rebecca frowned. "What are you talking about? Even if I called every elemental I could muster, it still wouldn't be enough to defeat even one of these giants."

"Perhaps you aren't thinking of the _right_ elementals?" Cherry asked, looking pointedly at a mountain.

There was a long silence. "Cherry, I can't see, remember? If you're pointing at something, I have no idea what it is," Rebecca said flatly.

Cherry sweatdropped. "Oh, right. What I mean is…the spirits of air, fire, earth, and metal might not be strong enough. But…what about a mountain spirit?"

Rebecca's white eyes widened in alarm. "A mountain spirit? Are you crazy, Cherry? You know I'm too old to do something like that!"

"You can do it," Cherry insisted.

"At this age? Impossible, the effort would kill me!" Rebecca protested.

"You'll be fine," Cherry said.

"…I'll be _fine?_ What are you talking about? Even if I did something like that when I was in my prime, it would still have killed me!" Rebecca said incredulously.

"That may be true, but…if you do this, I promise you'll be okay," Cherry said.

Rebecca blinked in astonishment. "What? How could that be?"

"Because I have foreseen it. I have foreseen that, even after summoning a mountain spirit and using it to defeat a frost giant, you will still be here with us," Cherry insisted. "You will ride with us the rest of the way to Fichina and share in the accolades when we finally get there. You will survive this battle, and the one that comes after that."

Rebecca gave her an incredulous look. "What? But…but how? That…that isn't-"

"Rebecca," Cherry said. "Would I lie to you about a vision of the future?"

"You've refused to tell me about the future plenty of times," Rebecca grunted.

"That's not the same as lying and you know it. Would I really lie about a vision? As an oracle, you know I'm not allowed to do something like that," Cherry said.

"You might not lie, but you can easily twist the truth to make a prophecy sound whatever way you want it to," Rebecca said suspiciously. "You said I'll survive and still be with you. How do I know you aren't talking about my corpse, and you'll keep it safe so it can be buried in Fichina?"

Cherry sighed in bemusement. "We aren't going to bury you, Rebecca. You'll still be there with us, fighting and relaxing and having a good time. You will continue your profession as a spiritualist for many years to come. You will inspire other spiritualists by what you were able to pull off today, and will accomplish even greater feats in future battles. But none of that can happen unless you summon a mountain spirit now to aid us."

Rebecca looked at her for a long, long moment. "You…you're telling the truth, aren't you?" she said eventually.

"Of course I am. I told you I don't lie about the future," Cherry said.

Rebecca nodded slowly. "I'll…really make it out of this in one piece?"

"Yes," Cherry said with a reassuring smile, even though Rebecca couldn't see it.

The Hypno sighed, giving in. "All right. I'll…I'll do it. But if you're messing with me, my vengeful spirit will return to haunt you for the rest of your life!"

"I'm fairly certain that's not going to happen, but if that's what you want to do with your afterlife, I won't stop you," Cherry said with a smirk.

Rebecca wiped some snow away and sat down cross-legged. "This is going to take a few minutes," she said. "Not as long as that summoning spell which _still_ isn't finished yet, but I won't be able to do it instantaneously. Will you keep watch and make sure nothing happens while I try to wake up the mountain spirit?"

"Of course I will," Cherry promised. "I'll keep both sets of eyes open."

"Good," Rebecca said gruffly. "I'm holding you to that promise." She closed her eyes and held her pendulum out before her, humming. A mystic aura surrounded her, and the pendulum began swinging gently back and forth. Rebecca smiled and turned both her heads away so as not to be distracted or hypnotized…and suppressed a faint twinge of guilt for not being as one hundred percent honest with her friend as she should have been.

"It's so…_big_…" an astonished Buck whispered.

"It's…it's…it's incredible! Goldor, it's even larger than your ego!" Silvia gasped.

"It most certainly is _not!_" Goldor said, although secretly he feared she was right. "It is rather large, though…ah, I say, Captain, I don't suppose you have any ideas on how to tackle something like this?"

"Well, I've got one idea," Briney said, telekinetically lifting a house into the air and flinging it at one of the frost giants. It blinked and scratched the spot where the house had hit its chest in surprise.

"…Was that supposed to do something?" asked a perplexed Goldor.

Briney shrugged. "When in doubt, I throw houses at things." He lifted several more houses and started throwing them at the giant. The doll family exchanged puzzled looks, shrugged, then started telekinetically throwing buildings as well, having no better idea.

The giant frowned as the buildings impacted its chest. The projectiles didn't hurt it, but it was somewhat annoying. It looked around, trying to find out where the houses were coming from, then shrugged and raised its foot, planning to just stomp the whole place flat until the houses stopped flying at it. "Whuh-oh," Buck said as the shadow of the tremendous foot covered them.

"Perhaps we should have tried a different tactic?" Silvia said anxiously.

"Good idea," Briney said, opening his mouth and firing a flaming Hyper Beam at the foot. Goldor raised his arms and fired fiery Hyper Beams of his own, followed by Silvia. Buck, much to his resignation, had yet to learn that technique, so just hurled as big a fireball as he could muster.

The blasts struck the giant in the bottom of its foot, causing it to grunt in surprise and draw it back, scratching the spot they'd hit it in irritation. "We did it!" Buck cheered.

"Yes, and now he's using his club instead," Goldor said flatly as the giant raised its club and started bringing it down towards them.

"Oh no he isn't!" Briney growled, flying up to intercept the club, grabbing it in his claws and pushing back at it with all his might. Much to his astonishment, even by utilizing his Psychic powers to the fullest, he was only able to slow the weapon's downswing by a fraction. _It's so strong…stronger than I had expected, certainly stronger than Polly!_ He ground his teeth and pushed harder, determined not to be crushed under the immense club. _But not…stronger…than ME!_ Exerting all his immense strength, he managed to slow the club down further, but, much to his alarm, not enough to stop it…

Until three more sets of arms joined him in pushing against the club. "Hang on, old boy, we're here to help!" Goldor said.

"Wh-what?" Briney spluttered. "What are you lot doing here?"

"You looked like you were in trouble, so we thought we would lend a hand," Silvia said.

"What? Bah! I had everything under control!" Briney blustered.

"We're sure you did, Captain," Buck said. "But we wanted to participate in the battle, too! Surely there's nothing wrong with that?"

Briney glared at the Claydol, a mixture of irritation and relief mingling through him. "Well…if you must, I suppose it would only be fair to let you have a piece of him too," he grunted. "He's big enough for all of us, after all!"

"Quite!" Goldor said, eyes glowing. "Now...all together, everyone!" The others' eyes glowed as they all used Psychic in unison. The frost giant, who had been staring at his club in confusion, wondering why it had stopped moving in midair, blinked in surprise when the weapon slid out of his grasp and rose into the air. He stared at it in awe, wondering if it had been possessed by some sort of spirit. This notion was reinforced when the club wound back and swung at his face, smashing into the side of his head and sending him stumbling back, crushing buildings and shaking the ground as he tried to regain his balance, blood and a few teeth spilling from his bruised face.

"Yeah, all right!" Buck cheered.

"That showed him what for!" Goldor said eagerly.

"Ew, he's even uglier now than he was before!" Silvia said in disgust.

"Eh, I've seen worse," Briney said.

And then the situation got worse when the giant shook its head angrily and stood back up straight, revealing that the powerful blow they had dealt it had not done quite as much damage as they had hoped. Then again, how were they to know that frost giants bashed each other over the head on a regular basis as a game, with whoever could sustain the most blows without falling over declared the winner? Enraged, the giant stomped back over, snatched the club out of the air, and started slamming it against the ground again and again to try and knock the evil spirits out of it. Unfortunately, since Briney and the doll family had been holding onto the club when he did that, that meant they got pounded against the ground as well, the repeated impacts smashing them flat against the bottom of the club. Pleased that he'd shown his weapon who was boss, the giant glanced around, trying to find what had happened to the little pests that had been bothering him earlier, unaware they were closer than he could possibly imagine…

And not able to do much about it at the moment. "Okay," said a dazed Goldor, his shiny gold body severely dented and scraped and imbedded halfway into the surface of the club. "That was an experience I would not care to repeat, not even for all the money in the world. Well…okay, if it were _all_ the money, maybe…"

"Ohhhh…my head hurts worse than the last time I drank a wee bit too much at one of my sister's parties…" Silvia moaned.

"Sorry Mrs. Holon, but I don't have my homework…my Growlithe ate it…no, I didn't pay him to do it, why would I do something like that?" babbled a dazed Buck.

"Eh, I've had worse," Briney grunted, having managed to shield himself from the brunt of the impact with Protect and Iron Defense. Eye glowing, he managed to wrench the four of them out of the club with his telekinesis. "Take a moment to heal yourselves. I'm going to teach our large friend here to show his weapon more respect," he said gruffly as he adjusted his hat and flew up towards the giant, rather than away from the massive creature, like any sensible Pokémon would do.

"…My goodness. He really is something else, isn't he?" Goldor murmured as he cast a healing spell on himself.

"What a mon!" Silvia breathed, causing Goldor to glare at her.

"Go get em', Captain Whitestache! Show that Vice Admiral Joe Giant who's boss!" Buck said deliriously.

Briney rocketed higher and higher up the giant's body, flying straight for its head. "Hey, tall, pale, and frosty! Do you know what happens to those who try to kill Captain Thaddeus Irving Briney?" he bellowed both vocally and telepathically so that the giant could hear him. Confused and wondering where those words in his head were coming from, the giant ponderously looked around, wondering if a spirit or one of the other giants was pulling a prank on him. "No? Then I'll tell you what happens! Captain Thaddeus Irving Briney kills _them!_" Drawing back a glowing fist, Briney used his momentum to slug the giant in a jaw with a punch powerful enough to crack a small mountain in two…

And, much to his astonishment, flinched backwards, his knuckles smarting. "Ow! What…what the…"

"Ow! Hey, that smarted!" the giant complained, reaching a hand up to rub its slightly aching jaw. His eyes crossed as he tried to focus on the much, much smaller form of Briney floating before him. "Did you try and sting me, little bug? Well, let me show you what I do to bugs!" He lunged forward and snapped his jaws shut around Briney, eating him whole. "I eat them!"

The doll family gasped in horror. "No! It can't be!" Silvia cried.

"Good lord, he's been swallowed alive! We're all done for!" Goldor shouted.

"No we're not, he'll be out of there any second now," Buck said.

He was right. Abruptly, the giant howled in pain and vomited blood, teeth shattering as Briney smashed his way out of the monster's mouth with a powerful Explosion. "Ahhhh! Ahhhhhhhh! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" the giant shrieked, mouth scorched and burnt black from the blast. "My mouf! My mouf!"

"And that's what happens to people who try to _eat_ Captain Thaddeus Irving Briney!" Briney bellowed, doing his best not to show how rattled he was. He'd hit that thing with his strongest punch and blown up inside its mouth, but it was still alive? This was going to be a little harder than he had thought…

Fortunately for Briney, he wasn't alone. "Don't worry, Captain, we'll help you!" Silvia said, firing Hyper Beams at the giant's chest.

"Yes, you aren't the only one who can do terrible things to people that make you angry!" Goldor said, adding additional Hyper Beam fire.

As the frost giant growled and swung his club at the family, the dolls barely managing to fly out of the way in time, Briney focused his psychic powers on the giant's brain, trying to 'mind crush' it. All he got was a headache, however, and caused the giant to wince and rub its forehead in pain. _He's not very bright, but his brain's just too _big_, _Briney thought to himself in frustration. _I can't just wreck it the way I usually would…_ He paused and glanced at the doll family, getting an idea. _But if I had some help, then maybe I could…_ "Hey, you lot! I'm trying to destroy this giant's mind, but it's (slightly) too much for me! Care to lend a telekinetic hand?"

"What? But that sort of thing is forbidden!" Silvia said in alarm. "And rude, too!"

"This is war, womon, the rules of common decency no longer apply!" Goldor said, eyes glowing. "Everyone, focus on that giant's thoughts! Let your will encircle them like a crushing vice, and _squeeze_ until there's nothing left!"

"…Wow, Dad, how do you know how to do that?" a surprised Buck asked.

"I'm a very wealthy businessmon and powerful mage, son. Sometimes I'm forced to do things that are…not entirely legal to keep business running smoothly," Goldor admitted, looking embarrassed. "I'd, ah, appreciate it if you didn't mention that to anyone…especially not that detective Looker. The last thing I need is a sleuth like him sticking his nose in my affairs…"

"Uh, sure thing, Dad," Buck said uncertainly.

"Anyway, put that out of your mind right now…and into that brute's mind! Destroy it until there's nothing left!" Goldor said, concentrating on the frost giant's brain.

"I hope we don't get into trouble for this…" Silvia said uneasily as she joined in.

"Mon, and I'm not gonna even be able to tell my friends I got to do this! Lame," Buck complained as he did his best to follow his parents' and Briney's example.

With all four Psychics focusing their combined mental power, the frost giant's mild headache grew into a migraine, and then into something far worse. "Auuuuggghhh! My head!" he cried, dropping his club and clutching both sides of his skull. "It feelf even worf than the hangover I got from drinking too much of Ymir'f brew!"

"Haha, we're doing it, lads!" Briney said excitedly. "Just a little more-"

"Hey, whatever you're doing, stop it!" a tremendous voice bellowed before a club slammed into the four Psychics, sending them flying. Dazed and smarting from the blow, Briney cursed as he struggled to reorient himself, realizing he'd forgotten there was more than one giant about. "Are you okay, brother?" the second giant asked in concern.

The first giant grimaced and picked up his club. "It ftill hurtf a little, but I'f had worf ffrom headbutting contefts!"

"Then let's see how _they _like getting their heads caved in!" the second giant snarled, raising his club.

"I think not!" A fiery lightning bolt shot down from the sky and struck the giant, causing him to grunt in surprise. A dragon made of flaming lightning swooped past, embers and static crackling off its form, Pikachu and Sparky riding on its back.

"Whoa, cool!" Buck said.

"The heck did they get something like that?" wondered a bewildered Briney. "…And how is the lightning on _fire?_"

"It's magic," Silvia said.

"Oh," Briney said. "Right."

"Taste the righteous judgment of Arceus, fiends!" Sparky said, raising Durendal and calling down another bolt of lightning.

"Arceus's Judgment is actually supposed to be a huge blast of light rather than a lightning bolt, actually, but considering you're using the Zap Plate, a fragment of his power, I suppose that was an apt statement," Pikachu said as he hurled a Thunderbolt at the giant.

Both of them were understandably surprised when the annoyed giant swung his club and…deflected the flaming lightning. Literally. He knocked it away as if he had been swinging a baseball bat, causing the lightning bolts to slam into a mountain and destroy a chunk of it in a large explosion. "Did…did he just…" Sparky stammered.

"Apparently," Pikachu said.

"But how…how is that-" Sparky started.

"Well, if we can ride around on a dragon made of flaming electricity, I suppose anything's possible," Pikachu said.

Sparky considered this for a moment. "Ah. You make a compelling case."

Pikachu sighed. "I wish I didn't."

"DIE!" the frost giant shouted, bringing his club down…

Only for it to abruptly change direction in mid-swing and slam into the other giant, nearly knocking him over. "Hey! What waf fat ffor?" he snarled angrily.

"I-It wasn't me! I didn't mean to hit you…this time!" said the surprised giant.

"Heh, forgot about us, did you?" Briney chuckled, his eye glowing along with those of the doll family. "Always a fatal mistake when you're dealing with Captain Briney!"

"Or myself, Goldor Goldorrington!" Goldor said.

"…Your last name is Goldorrington?" Briney asked.

"Well of course. Why did you think my company is named that? It's been in the family for generations," Goldor said.

"But…but your _first_ name…" Briney shook his head and decided he didn't really care that much. "Oh, whatever."

"Whatever indeed! Dear, let's give those giants a taste of our combined spin attack! Perhaps that will finally give them some pause?" Silvia suggested.

"A smashing idea, Silvia! Captain, would you join us? With your power added to ours, we would be unstoppable!" Goldor said.

"Yeah, join us! Join us, please?" Buck begged.

Briney hid a smile. "Oh, all right, I suppose it can't hurt."

"Excellent! Let's get spinning!" Goldor said as he began his Rapid Spin. Buck and Silvia followed suit, and Briney went into a Gyro Ball, the other three whizzing around them.

As they spun faster and faster, energy crackled out from them and melded together to generate a tremendous cyclone with streaks of fire circling up its length, its tip smashing into the ground and sending buildings flying as its apex towered over the heads of the surprised giants. "Uh, I think we might want to move out of the way!" Pikachu said in alarm as the wind generated by the cyclone started pulling their steed towards it.

"That would probably be for the best," Sparky agreed, channeling more of the Zap Plate's armor and causing the dragon's wings to extend and beat faster. "However…I believe it would be to our advantage to add some of our power to that tornado, don't you?"

"Sure, the more energy in that thing, the better," Pikachu concurred. "Well, so long as it's being used against the giants, anyway!" They pointed their swords at the giant tornado and fired lightning bolts into it. Bolts of electricity spiraling around it as another element was added to the mix, the tornado flashed and pulsated violently, looking as if it would explode at any moment in a tremendous burst of energy. As Pikachu and Sparky made their escape, the tornado bore down on the two giants…

Who swung their clubs at it at the same time, causing it to shatter in a tremendous explosion that shook the valley, leveled any remaining buildings that hadn't been destroyed yet in all the fighting, flung the giants to the ground, and very nearly knocked Pikachu and Sparky out of the air. It also had the rather unfortunate side effect of sending Briney and the Goldorringtons flying in all directions, the force of the blast imbedding them in the surrounding mountains, extremely dazed and more than a little battered and wounded from the incredible explosion. "Ow," one of the giants said after a moment, smoke rising from his blackened body. Most of the hair on his body had been burnt, and some of it was still on fire.

"I think we could have handled that a little better," his equally singed comrade said.

"How?" the other giant said.

"…Dunno. Some way that didn't hurt so much?" he said.

"Meh," the giant replied. Grunting, they pulled themselves off the ground.

"Oh, come on! That didn't even faze them much?" an exasperated Pikachu protested.

"I guess we could try another attack…though the last one didn't seem to do much good…" Sparky said dubiously.

"That's because last time you didn't have all of us!" Rose said as she swooped down to fly alongside them.

"If we combine the powers of our Plates against them, we have a greater chance of defeating them," Happy said as she joined them.

"After all, it's the power of the Creator. The more of it the better, right?" Captain Salty said as he hovered into view.

Sparky smirked, relieved to see his friends. "It should indeed," he said.

"And it'll make for some great pictures, too!" Todd said as he flapped his wings frantically to catch up to them.

"You should probably stay back, you know," Happy warned him. "It's not going to be safe to be anywhere near those giants, especially once we really let loose with the full power of the Plates."

"Maybe so, but if I stay back, how'm I going to get the best shots?" Todd countered. "There's no way I'm missing out on this!"

"Nor I," Lu said from where she'd been riding on the Aerodactyl's back.

Sparky did a double-take. "Lu! Is that you? You've…evolved!"

"Yeah…I guess it was inevitable, considering my genetics and this climate," Lu said regretfully. "Oh well…I wanted to be an Umbreon, but I suppose a Glaceon'll do, too."

"I should think so," Sparky agreed. "And…no matter what form you take, you will always be ravishing to me."

Lu smirked. "_Grazie, mi amore._"

"Since when has she had an Italian accent?" Pikachu murmured to Sparky.

"Since always," Sparky said. "It's where she comes from, after all."

Pikachu blinked. "But…she didn't have it before."

"As a trained assassin, she can speak several dozen languages fluently, with all the appropriate accents and regional dialects," Sparky replied. "She didn't have an accent earlier because she didn't feel like it."

"…Ah," Pikachu said. That made him wonder what Dawn would sound like when she evolved. She'd had a voice when they were inside her heart, he remembered that, but…it had been some kind of weird pseudo-mystical illusion, so he wasn't sure how much accuracy he could attach to that. That also led him to wonder what she would _look_ like when she evolved…considering she'd become a Lopunny, even with her burn scars she'd probably still be very beautiful, a thought that made him blush as he contemplated it. _As if our relationship didn't get me teased enough by the others already…_

"As de facto leader of Team Getem, I believe the appropriate thing to say would be…CHAAAAARGE!" Sparky declared, pointing his sword forwards.

"RAAAAAAAAHHHH!" the others shouted as they flew alongside him towards the giants, who ponderously turned to see them coming.

"Hey, look, brother," one said. "More bugs have come to pester us!"

"Good," the other giant said, picking his club back up off the ground. "If fere's one fing I like more fan anyfing elfe, it'f fquaffing bugf!"

While Team Getem tackled the two giants, the third found himself pestered by Looker, Bruno, Vladimir, Dean, Bob, Sasha, Butler, and Diane. "Grrr! Stupid, annoying specks! You go squish now!" the giant bellowed in frustration as he swatted away the houses Bruno, Butler and Diane were hurling at him. Swatting angrily at the swarm of black Woobat flying around his head that Vladimir had turned into, he brought his huge foot down on the Pokémon scurrying about underfoot.

Or tried to, anyway. Bruno raised his four hands and caught the sole of the giant's foot, gritting his teeth in pain and sweat rolling down his body as he tried to keep the huge appendage from crushing him. The ground beneath his feet splintered and collapsed as he sank down up to his ankles, and it looked as if soon even more of him would be buried, along with everyone else under the foot with him. "Everyone, go, now!" he shouted to the shocked Looker, Dean, Bob, Sasha, Butler, and Diane. "I'll hold it back as long as I can…get out from under here, before it's too late!"

Butler scoffed. "Oh, please…there's no need to be so melodramatic." He stretched his phantasmal limbs upwards and pressed against the foot with all his strength.

Bruno blinked in surprise. "Huh? What are you-"

"What, you thought you were the only one fighting?" Diane asked as her eyes glowed and she exerted her telekinetic power against the foot.

"Yeah, we're all in this together!" Dean said as he bounded upwards, digging his teeth into the giant's flesh and starting to suck away at its blood. Bob eagerly leaped up to join him, the two of them dangling rather comically as they drank the monster's vital fluids.

"We aren't going to leave anyone behind," Looker agreed, spewing Poison Stings into the underside of the giant's foot.

"I know when death is certain for someone…and right now, it is not absolute for you!" Sasha said. _Master, will my garment's power to kill enemies work on this monster?_

_Dunno. He's kinda big…but I suppose it's worth a shot,_ Darkrai said.

_Very well_, she said, turning and bounding away.

"Hey, where are you going?" Looker protested.

"I thought you were going to stay and help!" the shocked Bruno agreed.

"I am," Sasha replied. "But I'm going to do so from another avenue!" It took her several seconds longer than she would have liked, but she managed to get out from under the shadow of the immense foot and back into the (relatively) fresh, cool air. She jumped onto the top of a nearby pile of debris, hopped from there to a larger pile, and bounded from there towards the giant's foot. She hit its sloping sides and nearly slid off, but by clawing into its flesh and biting into its thick (and rather distasteful) hair, she managed to keep herself from falling. She scrambled up the sides to the top of the giant's foot, paused for a moment to catch her breath, and lay down, allowing her black robe to spill out around her and make contact with the giant's flesh. The blackness of the robe flowed beyond its hem and began to cover the monster's skin, spreading out like an oozing stain of absolute blackness…

Which was not moving as fast or as far as Sasha would have liked. _It's not working!_

_Well, I TOLD you he was a big one. It's gonna take a while for the robe to kill something that large,_ Darkrai replied. _And that's assuming he lets you finish…_ Sasha grimaced, not liking the sound of that.

Above her, seeing what she and the others were trying to do, Vladimir coalesced back into his original form and shifted into his demonic Mightyena form, spreading his wings and swooping down towards the giant's foot. As he flew past it, his wings metamorphosed into segmented insectoid claws which dug into the ankle and arrested his descent, slamming him into the side of the leg and letting him dig his claws in. Howling, he began savaging the ankle with claw and fang and horn, blood flowing freely all over the place, some of it even landing in his mouth. This last assault, combined with the other rather unpleasant pricks and stings he had been receiving nonstop for the last few moments, was the last straw for the giant, who yelped and withdrew his foot, allowing Bruno, Butler, and Diane to sigh in relief. Dean and Bob, however, had much more to worry about since they were still hanging from the bottom of the giant's foot, and they quickly and reluctantly disengaged their fangs, dropped to the ground, and made a break for it, moving somewhat sluggishly due to the rather massive amount of blood they'd just gorged on. The giant's foot slammed down only meters behind them, the shockwave from the impact rippling across the ground and sending them flying.

Cursing and shouting angrily, the giant reached down and plucked Vladimir off his ankle, the vampire yelping in pain as his giant claws were torn off and his ribs were crushed between the giant's fingers. The giant started exerting more pressure, and he quickly dissolved into a swarm of Woobats which flew out of the giant's clutches before he could be squished. The giant snarled in frustration as he tried to snatch the retreating avians out of the sky…and paused, wondering why his foot felt…odd. He looked down and screamed in horror and alarm when he saw that almost the entire lower appendage had turned blacker than night, and the inky darkness was inexorably spreading up his ankle towards the rest of his body. He shook his foot frantically, trying to get the blackness off of it, and Sasha had to dig her claws into the surface of the giant's foot as hard as she could to keep from falling off.

When he saw the darkness was still spreading, the giant did the only thing he could think of: bash his foot in with his club. The others stared incredulously as the giant brought his club down on his dying appendage again and again. "That…seems counterintuitive," Butler said.

"Well, since he doesn't have any sharp implements, I suppose it's the closest he can get to amputation," Bruno commented.

Dean frowned. "Wait a minute…wasn't Miss Kutabe on there?"

They exchanged horrified looks. "Oh, crap," Looker murmured.

"I'm on it!" Diane yelled, Teleporting away as the others quickly rushed towards the foot.

Sasha was amazed to find that she was not, in fact, dead, despite being smashed repeatedly by a giant piece of stone large enough to demolish her entire forest home were it to fall on it lengthwise. She wasn't even hurting at all, she could feel the impact, but it was somehow…diminished, just annoying but otherwise harmless pressure applied to her back again and again. _I am…alive?_

_Ha! I knew you'd be okay!_ Darkrai said, hiding a hint of relief. _When I make an enchanted object, I do it right!_

Diane appeared in a flash of light. "Kutabe, come on, we have to…ah, hold that thought." She Teleported as the giant bashed his club down on them, then reappeared once it was raised into the air again. "I'm here to get you out of here!"

"You can't-" Sasha protested, pausing as the giant's club smashed down again to interrupt their conversation. "I'm perfectly safe where I am, and if I leave-" The club came down again, providing another interruption. "What I'm doing here will cease!"

"And what are you-" Diane Teleported away as the club came down and reappeared, continuing right where they had left off. "Doing here?"

"Killing it!" Sasha said, bracing herself for the next blow…and was surprised when nothing happened. "Huh?"

Diane blinked and looked up, equally surprised. "Hey, why'd he-" She squealed in alarm and reflexively Teleported away just before the giant's hand came hurtling down to snatch her up. It caught Sasha instead and tore her off the foot, and the Kirlia Teleported back, realizing she'd forgotten the Absol, milliseconds too late. "Oh no…"

"You!" the giant bellowed furiously as he raised Sasha to eye level. "What do you think you're-ahhhh!" he cried in alarm when he realized that the blackness was starting to spread across his fingers too. Frightened, he hurled Sasha away as fast as he could, and sighed in relief when the darkness disappeared from his fingers as well as his foot…and frowned in puzzlement when he noticed they still felt rather numb. He tried wiggling his fingers and toes, but although most of his fingers were fine, save for the tips, his foot wouldn't respond at all to him. Which, he admitted, might be a good thing considering how much of it he'd gruesomely crushed with his frenzied club bashes.

_Dammit!_ Darkrai swore as Sasha hurtled through the air.

_Oh well. There goes that idea,_ Sasha thought wearily.

_It's not that the enchantment was ineffective; it's just that he's too damn _big!_ It's always difficult to cast direct-effect spells on things of that size unless you're an extremely powerful mage, because there's just so much _volume_ for the spell to cover,_ Darkrai complained. _If you had stayed on there long enough, you'd have either killed him or severely crippled him for sure!_

_Well, I can always try again,_ Sasha thought, surprised by how little her danger-sense was bothering her despite the fact that she was moving through the air incredibly fast and was several thousand feet off the ground. _Ah, Master, I _will_ survive hitting the ground, right?_

_Yeah, but at the rate you're going, you won't be getting back to the fight anytime soon,_ Darkrai said apologetically.

She sighed. _Wonderful._

Fortunately, that proved to be less of a problem than expected, as abruptly a swarm of black Woobats swirled around her, biting their overlarge fangs into the fabric of her robes and flapping their wings frantically to try and arrest her flight. Incredibly, they managed to slow her down and bring her to a gradual halt, dangling her high above the ground below. "Are you all right, Sasha?" a few of the Woobats asked as they circled in front of her, speaking at the same time in Vladimir's voice.

"I'm fine, thank you," Sasha said. "I wasn't actually in any danger—my robe would have protected me—but I am grateful for it nonetheless, since it means I won't have to walk quite as far back to rejoin the fight."

"Ah, I see. Whatever magic you possess must be very powerful indeed to grant you such protection." The Woobats frowned in puzzlement. "Actually, something about it tastes…familiar somehow…almost like the Mistress."

"Well, I am a priest of Darkrai," Sasha pointed out, deciding not to mention her god was responsible for Gardevoir and Vladimir's subsequent transformation. "Lord of the dead. And undead. Which you are, being a vampire. I suppose it's unsurprising that you would recognize his power."

"Ah, that must be it," Vladimir said, the Woobats holding Sasha up flapping frenziedly, turning her about and slowly beginning to carry her back towards the frost giant. "Hmm…if that's the case, then I wonder if your blood would have the same taste as milady's…I don't suppose-"

"I'd rather you didn't," Sasha said firmly. "Though I appreciate you asking."

"Ah well, it was worth a try," Vladimir said wistfully.

"Vladimir's got Kutabe and they're on their way back," Dean reported to the others fighting the giant, having just received a message through the bond of affinity he shared with the elder vampire.

"Good, we need all the help we can get against this thing," Looker said as he spewed a constant stream of flaming Poison Stings up at the giant's body as the immense beast thrashed about, trying to catch Diane and Butler, who were Teleporting and vanishing all over the place to strike at him.

"Hold…still!" the giant grunted angrily as Butler evaded a club swing.

"Very well," Butler said, floating in place. The giant quickly reversed his thrust and swung his club at the Duclops…only for the immense weapon to pass right through the Ghost. "Oh dear, that didn't go quite how you had hoped, did it now? Would you care for another go?" he taunted, flinging his arms forward and firing flaming Shadow Punches at the giant's eyes. The giant quickly raised a hand to block them, and was startled when Diane abruptly Teleported onto one of his fingers and fired flaming Psybeams into his eyes. He howled in pain and clapped his hand to his eyes, dropping his club in the process and nearly crushing Bob, who had been stupidly standing in place barking at the giant but was saved at the last second by Looker, whom he rewarded by biting him.

"Oh crap," the Croagunk cried in horror as he yelped and dropped the ungrateful mutt. "Am I going to turn into a vampire now?"

"No, Bob's a minion-level vampire, he doesn't have the power to turn people into vampires," Dean said.

"Oh, good," Looker said, sighing in relief.

"They just die instead," Dean said.

"WHAT?" Looker screamed.

"Don't worry, I'll suck the virus out," Dean said, extending his fangs.

"You can do that?" Looker asked worriedly.

"We're about to find out," Dean said, digging his fangs into the holes Bob had made in Looker's arm and beginning to suck.

Looker expected it to be painful, but it actually felt…kind of nice, really. Almost euphoric. "What…what are you doing to me?" he asked, feeling a little giddy.

"I injected pain-killing enzymes so it wouldn't hurt," Dean said as he extracted his fangs, licking the last few drops of blood from his lips. "It'll also heal the wound. See?"

"Huh," Looker said, looking at his arm in amazement as the bite wounds from both vampires' fangs sealed up. "That's…interesting. Am I going to become a vampire now?"

"No, that would only have happened if I'd given you some of my infected blood," Dean said. "Bob's too stupid to know how to hold his virus back, though, which is why you would have died if I hadn't extracted it all from you."

"Ah," Looker said. "Thank you very much."

"No problem," Dean said. "And Bob, he was just trying to help you, there was no need to bite him and nearly get him killed! Bad dog! Very bad dog!" Bob whimpered and wandered off to sulk and wallow in misery.

"Well, now that that's settled…isn't there something we should be doing right now?" Looker asked.

"You mean fight that giant…giant?" Dean asked.

"I believe so," Looker said. Both of them looked dubiously up at the monster towering over them, wondering how they were going to make a dent in something that size.

As they pondered this, Bruno charged past them, bellowing as his muscles bulged with power, and leaped into the air, his strong legs boosting him hundreds of feet up and putting him on a collision course with the giant's knee. Roaring in fury as he sailed through the air, the Machamp drew back all four of his glowing fists and thrust them forward just before he could crash into the knee, hitting it with a quadruple flaming Dynamic Punch so strong that it shattered the giant's kneecap. The giant howled in pain and keeled over, clutching his broken knee in agony. As the giant's arms approached, Bruno, clinging to some of the hair sprouting from the giant's knee to keep from falling, Bruno kicked off and arced through the air again, landing on the giant's wrist. Hunched over, he started scurrying up the limb, using one set of arms to grab at strands of hair as long as he was tall to keep from falling off while using his second set to push against the ground like another pair of legs, moving up the arm with astonishing speed. Diane and Butler, realizing this was a pretty good opportunity and not wanting to give the giant even a moment to catch his breath, flew down to attack the giant's other kneecap, hitting it with powerful spells and energy blasts. They didn't hurt as much as Bruno's attack had, but they still got the giant's attention, and he angrily swiped at them, allowing Bruno to continue climbing up his arm unheeded.

Down on the ground, Looker and Dean stared in awe. "Woooow," Dean said.

"Rather impressive," Looker agreed.

"That guy is pretty cool," Dean said.

"And I think he has the right idea," Looker said. "We can't do much of anything here on the ground. If we want to do something really substantive to a monster this size, we need to get higher up."

"Ah, I get it," Dean said, generating his wings. Flapping them, he rose into the air and landed on Looker's shoulders, his feet sprouting claws that firmly clamped shut around the Croagunk's arms. "Hang on, we're going up!"

"W-wait, that's not what Iiiiiiieeeeeeeee!" Looker yelled as Dean's wings enlarged and, with a mighty flap, propelled them off the ground and into the air, rising up the side of the giant's immense body. Bob barked loudly and jumped repeatedly into the air, trying to follow them, only to find that he could not because he was unable to fly. Whimpering in disappointment, he sank onto his haunches, licked himself, then trotted over to one of the giant's feet and marked his territory on it.

A little further away, a stunned George looked on as the others fought against the frost giants. "Damn…that's some show going on over there…" She glanced at Sam and Max. "Any idea how we're supposed to get involved in that without getting squished?"

"Well, I have an idea, but…I'm somewhat reluctant…" Sam said uneasily.

"Oh, come on, Sam! What's the worst that could happen?" Max asked.

"You could develop a psychic brain tumor and explode in a blast powerful enough to rip a giant hole in the continent?" Sam said.

Max frowned. "Oh come on, that's nowhere near the worst! Barely even medium! Come on, you can think of something worse than that!"

Sam shook his head wearily. "You crack me up, little buddy."

"Um, what are you guys talking about?" asked a confused George.

"You might not know it just by looking at him, but my little buddy here is psychic!" Sam said. "Or used to be, anyway."

George glanced at Max. "Used to be?"

"Yeah, and I got my powers from a magic toybox that used to belong to the youngest of the elder gods…would that make him a junior god?" Max wondered.

"Well, his name _was_ Junior," Sam said.

"O…kay…" said a confused George.

"Anyway, we blew up the toybox to keep an evil ventriloquist's dummy-" Sam said.

"That's redundant, Sam, _all_ ventriloquist's dummies are evil," Max pointed out.

"Duly noted. Anyway, we blew up the toybox to keep some dummy from using it to summon Junior and destroy the world," Sam said. "In the process, Max lost the use of his powers, but ate Junior and turned into a giant monster that proceeded to rampage throughout New York and farted out spores shaped like his head on fire that ate the nightmares of anyone unlucky enough to fall asleep in his presence."

"…Uh…" George said.

"And then Sam, a weirdo in a fez with Yog-Soggoth growing from his stomach, and our heavily pregnant friend Sybil who's married to the giant reanimated statue of Abraham Lincoln went inside me to perform brain surgery and keep me from exploding in a psychic overload that would wipe out most of the Eastern seaboard, but they failed and I had to teleport into deep space just before I went critical, killing an evil alien gorilla and his mermaid girlfriend who'd been pretending to be the granddaughter of the local diner's owner as part of an overly convoluted scheme to take the diner from him," Max said.

"…_WHAT?_" George said incredulously.

"Huh, it does sound pretty weird when you put it that way," Sam admitted.

"Oh come on, that's gotta be one of our _tamer_ adventures!" Max scoffed. "If she finds it that hard to believe, I wonder what she'd think of the time I went back in time and became your great-great-great grandfather!"

"Actually, that one still gives me headaches when I think too hard about it," Sam said.

"Psht, you're no great-great-great grandson of mine!" Max sneered.

"Wait, you…turned into a giant monster…and exploded…" George said slowly.

Max rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I just said that. Wow, you're slow on the uptake, huh?"

"But…you're here now!" George protested.

"I got better," Max said.

"Well, no, technically you didn't," Sam argued. "You aren't actually the Max who blew up in space, you're another Max from a parallel timeline in which I turned into a giant monster with electromagnetic powers and exploded, but since all you're part of a multiverse-spanning hive mind linking Maxes in every reality, you still have all the thoughts and memories of the Max who exploded, so you're basically the same person even though you technically aren't."

"Yes, but saying I got better would have saved more time and breath," Max pointed out.

"Ah, good point," Sam admitted.

"I…so…you…erk…" George's eyes crossed. "What…what does any of that have to do with right now?"

"As the most powerful and feared nation in the world due to Max's tyrannical acts of whimsy, we are constantly under attack from giant monsters and robots sent by other countries to try and destroy us," Sam said. "While our own standing army of giant monsters and robots is usually strong enough to repulse the invaders, occasionally something comes along that's too strong for the regular joes and it's up to Max and I to tackle them…mainly because Congress passed legislation stating we had to in a desperate attempt to get Max KIA so they could replace him with someone who's actually sane."

"Boy, did that backfire spectacularly!" Max said cheerfully.

"Traces of Junior's power still linger inside Max's body, and by studying it and our good friend Dr. Norrington AKA Yog-Soggoth, our scientists discovered a way to temporarily reactivate that power and, when necessary, transform Max back into a giant monster to defend truth, justice, and the American way!" Sam declared.

"…But…but if this is a Max from a parallel timeline and the Max who turned into a giant monster exploded, then how-" a confused George started.

Sam rushed forwards and clapped a hand over her muzzle. "Shh! Don't tell him that! If he realizes that, it won't work!" Sam hissed.

"Sam here was given the responsibility of safeguarding the pills that can turn me into a giant monster, because everyone else was worried that if I took charge of them, I'd abuse their power to conquer and/or destroy the world," Max said disdainfully.

"That's because you would," Sam pointed out.

"I know! It's so unfair," Max whined.

"So…you're saying you can turn him into a giant monster right now to fight those frost giants?" George asked slowly.

"I can, but as I said, I'm wary about doing it, since there's always a strong possibility that he'll either go on an uncontrollable rampage or explode, and then I'll have to explain to the First Lady how her husband died. Again," Sam said.

"You could always just snag another me from a parallel timeline," Max said.

"Yes, but then I'd be depriving parallel Sam of your parallel self, and that's something I'm not comfortable with doing," Sam said.

"You could shoot him and put him out of his misery," Max said.

"No, that's too much like Old Yeller, and you know how I hate that movie," Sam said.

Max rolled his eyes. "You cry at the stupidest things."

"You were crying too!" Sam accused.

"Yeah, because Old Yeller didn't kill Travis when he had the chance!" Max said.

"Um…okay," George said slowly, her head throbbing as she tried to make sense of all this lunacy. "It's dangerous. I understand. But…so's letting those frost giants go unstopped. They could kill the others."

"So?" Max asked, completely apathetic.

"They could also step on the train, meaning we'd have to walk the rest of the way to Fichina," George said, trying another tack.

Max gasped in horror. "No, not that! Sam, we have to stop them! Turn me into a giant monster, quick, before it's too late!"

Sam sighed. "Well, I probably shouldn't, but I can't think of a reason not to."

"What about the possibility of him going on an unstoppable rampage or exploding?" George asked.

"Other than that, I mean," Sam said, pulling out a small bottle and shaking a pill into one hand. It was throbbing and glowed a sickly green, and George could almost swear it had tentacles and purple eyes. She shuddered in disgust. "Down the hatch, little buddy!" Sam tossed the pill into the air. Max eagerly jumped up and snapped it up in his jaws. "And now we run," Sam told George as the white not-Buneary's body started trembling.

"Why?" George asked.

"So Max doesn't crush us as he transforms," Sam said.

"Ah," George said, seeing the sense in this.

They ran away as ominous voices started chanting in a guttural, alien tongue. Max closed his eyes as his head abruptly burst into flames and he began to levitate off the ground, his body expanding to become larger and larger. His beady eyes turned purple and sunk into great black pits, his sharp teeth elongated into fangs, his paws turned into webbed claws, purple spots formed on his shoulders and back, and his scalp tore open between his ears to reveal his purple pulsating brain. His skin turned dark green and covered in slime and scales rather than white fur. His long feet turned into cloven hooves, with barbs growing from his ankles and thighs. His muscles bulked up to startling proportions as bone plates and scales formed on his forearms and sides, and his back tore open as his spinal cord, now with engorged with elongated knobby vertebrae, emerged. His long floppy ears hung back over his head, becoming tentacles as suckers formed on their undersides. More tentacles appeared on his face, hanging down in front of his very wide, very toothy mouth in place of a nose, which had receded into his face. Now a giant monster over fifty meters tall, Max, or rather, Maxthulhu, threw back his head and emitted a blood-curdling roar that caused the entire tundra to quake in terror.

George's jaw dropped in disbelief. "Holy crap!"

"Yes, that's what most people say when they see him for the first time," Sam said indifferently. He pulled out a corn dog and waved it in the air, attracting Maxthulhu's attention. "Hey, little—er, _big_ buddy! Over here!" Maxthulhu perked up when he saw the corn dog, licked his tentacles, and reached towards them.

"What are you doing?" George cried in horror.

"Getting us eaten," Sam said.

"WHAT?" George screamed. "You're crazy!"

"That's what they tell me," Sam admitted.

George tried to run away, but was too late, as Maxthulhu grabbed both of them in a scaly claw and raised them towards his face. As the Mightyena desperately tried to break free and Sam seemed completely unperturbed by the whole thing, Maxthulhu opened his gaping jaws wide and threw them down his throat. George screamed in terror as they plummeted into the bowels of the beast…

And was rather surprised when they landed unharmed in what looked like a perfectly ordinary kitchen with an oven, counters, stools, refrigerator, a spice rack, and a small island with a sink and food processor in the middle. The only thing-aside from the dim lighting and the fact that there was no ceiling but a great dark shaft that rose endlessly above them-that gave away the fact that they weren't in a real kitchen was that the walls were red and meaty and pulsating somewhat. "Wh-what? How…how did we get here?"

"Max ate us," Sam said, brushing his jacket off casually and throwing the corn dog he had been holding into the food processor, which activated and greedily started reducing the tasty treat into its component parts for easier consumption.

"But…but this is a kitchen! What's it doing inside of Max?" George asked.

"It's his stomach," Sam said.

"…His stomach," George said flatly.

"Yes," Sam said.

"Why does his stomach look like a kitchen?" George demanded.

"What else would it look like?" Sam asked, honestly puzzled. George's eye twitched. As she tried to come to terms with the impossibility of all this, Sam opened the fridge door and rummaged around inside of it. "Hmm, let's see, are there any…ah, good there's still some left!" He happily pulled out a brown Popsicle, licking his lips eagerly. "Mmmm, Fudgey Freezes…" He eagerly devoured it.

"…Did you just eat something that was lying around, half-digested, in Max's stomach?" George asked incredulously.

"Yes," Max said, licking the chocolate from his lips. "Why, do you want one?"

"I…no, I'd rather not, thanks," George said faintly.

"Good," Sam said, reaching back into the fridge and pulling out another half-dozen popsicles. "More for me, then!" He gleefully started eating them.

George briefly wondered if she was going insane, which, considering the company she had been keeping lately, meant she'd fit in rather well. She grimaced, wondering if Sam was really worth all this. "So, uh, why did you have Max eat us?"

"So we can control him from inside and make sure he doesn't do anything too crazy, naturally," Sam said as he finished the last of the chocolate treats. "And to do that, we need to go to the brain."

"Which is…?" George asked.

"Right over there," Sam said, pointing to a transparent tube running up the length of the wall behind George with a doorway cut into it and a picture of a brain over it. Strange green globs of _something_ lazily drifted up its interior.

"Oh," George said. Sam walked past her and into the tube, where an invisible force took hold of him and sent him shooting up into the darkness. Groaning and knowing she was going to regret this, George reluctantly followed him.

One heady high-speed not-quite elevator ride later, the dazed Mightyena stumbled out of the top of the tube and found herself in what looked like a perfectly ordinary living room with comfortable couches, wood paneling, a throw rug, a fireplace with china plates that had pictures of Sam and Max on them placed on the mantelpiece, strange pieces of modern art decorating the place, a record player next to a bookshelf full of records, an incongruous white door, and two other tubes presumably leading to other parts of the body. A huge plasma TV hung from one of the walls, with an impressive sound system framing it, and what appeared to be a human with an impressive pompadour and elegant suit who looked like he'd just walked out of a black and white film sat on the couch across from it flipping through the channels while drinking a can of beer. Several dozen empty cans littering the floor and side of the couch indicated he'd been at this for a while. The human paused in his channel surfing and glared at Sam and George when he realized he was no longer alone in the room. "Oh, it's you again," he slurred. "And you brought a ladyfriend this time? My, I didn't even know you liked girls, Sam. I wonder how Max feels about his best friend bringing someone else into his innermost sanctum."

"Oh, he's cool with it," Sam said.

"I'm sure," the human drawled doubtfully. "Well, if you want to copulate or engage in some disgusting canine mating ritual, do it somewhere else, the only bed around here is mine and I don't want you getting your fur and saliva all over it."

"That won't be necessary, we're just friends," Sam said as George flushed.

"Yeah, that's what they all say…" the human grumbled before finishing his beer, crunching the empty can against his forehead, tossing it away and grabbing a fresh one from the cooler next to him, pointedly ignoring them as he went back to watching TV.

"Uh, Sam, who is that, and why is he inside of Max's brain…which, for some reason, looks like a living room?" George whispered.

"Oh, that's the Narrator, Max's superego," Sam explained. "He tried to kill Max once because Max was always ignoring him, resulting in Max's almost destroying the Eastern seaboard in a terrible explosion, but changed his mind when Max proved himself capable of selflessness after all. Unfortunately, that Narrator died in the resulting terrible explosion, so this one's still bitter and spiteful, but we managed to curb his self-destructive tendencies by giving him cable and an unlimited supply of alcohol."

"Yes, so now I can destroy myself with liquor and mindless television rather than in a fiery conflagration," the Narrator said bitterly. "How utterly typical." He belched and went back to his drinking.

"…Ah," George said slowly. "But…why is the Superego of a Buneary look like a black and white human?"

"Because Max is completely insane," the Narrator said.

"Oh," George said, deciding that made about as much sense as anything else. "But wait…you're a Narrator? Then what are you narrating?"

"The story we're in, of course," the Narrator said.

"…What are you talking about? We aren't in a story," said the confused George.

The Narrator burst into laughter. "My, you sure know how to pick them, don't you Sam?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked the confused Sam.

The Narrator rolled his eyes. "I'll let you figure that out for yourself. I'm sure you'll understand eventually. Then again, maybe not. You always have been a bit of a dullard, haven't you?" Sam growled in annoyance.

"If we're in a story, and you're narrating it, then why don't I hear you narrating it?" George asked skeptically.

"Because you're just a character in the story, and lack enough awareness of the fourth wall to realize it," the Narrator said. "Which is a blessing, really, since it means you have no idea of how meaningless your efforts are, how your every action and thought are planned beforehand and typed into place by the author, and how many people are reading about you and forming their opinions about your character and relationship with young Samuel…which has, of course, already been plotted out completely by the author. Your fate has been set in stone, and nothing you do or think matters…just like me."

"…You're a horrible person," said a disgusted George, hiding how disturbed she was by his comments.

"I was spawned from the demented mind of _Max,_ what do you expect?" the Narrator said cynically as he turned back to the television.

"Just ignore him, he says things like that all the time," Sam said, unruffled by the Narrator's ravings. "Nothing ever comes of it."

"R-right," George said. "So…what are we doing up here?"

"As I said before, controlling Max to make sure he doesn't destroy the wrong thing," Sam said.

"And we do that by…?" George asked.

"I'll show you," Sam said, swiping the remote from the Narrator.

"Hey, I was using that!" the Narrator complained. Sam ignored him and changed the channel so the TV showed the three frost giants battling the other heroes in the ruins of Dusty Ditch.

"Hey, that's…what's going on outside!" George said in surprise.

"Of course it is, you dolt, the TV is connected to Max's optical nerves," the Narrator said blithely as he finished another can, crushed it, and grabbed another. "We can see anything he sees using it."

"And that's not all we can do," Sam said, bending over in front of the television and pressing the power switch on a white rectangular box under it. He grabbed what looked like another remote control, also white, that was hooked up to some kind of nunchuk with a joystick from next to the box and took a few steps back.

"What's that?" George asked.

"A Nintendo Wii," Sam explained. "We hooked it up to Max's brain so that we wouldn't have to go to separate parts of the body to control his limbs, as well as to give the Narrator something more constructive to do with his time other than drink himself to death and watch television."

"Yes, and look how well that turned out," the Narrator said snidely.

On the TV screen, a lengthy multicolored bar with an image of Maxthulhu's head at one end appeared on top, and big blue words saying 'LEVEL START!' flashed over the image of the frost giants. Sam pushed up on the joystick, and the whole room started shaking, while the giants began to loom closer on the screen. "You can control something as big as Max with that little thing?" asked an amazed George.

"Sure, it's just like a video game, only I'm using my big buddy instead of some player character," Sam said.

"And when that health bar on top of the screen depletes completely, we don't get any extra lives or continues, Max—and all of us-dies for real, in an enormous psychic explosion," the Narrator said, sounding disturbingly hopeful. George gave him a horrified look. "Care for a drink?" he asked as he held out a beer can, unbothered.

"…Yeah, okay," the Mightyena said, reluctantly taking the proffered can. Knocking the empty cans littering the couch onto the ground, she took a seat next to the superego. "So, is there any way I can help?"

"No," the Narrator said.

George frowned. "Then why am I even here?"

"To serve as a 'Watson' figure that elements of the plot can be explained to in a believable manner that doesn't seem like a heavy-handed attempt to make an infodump for the readers," the Narrator said.

"…I have no idea what you just said," said the confused George.

"No, but the readers do, and that's all that matters," the Narrator said.

"_What_ readers? This isn't a story!" George protested.

The Narrator laughed bitterly. "If only you knew. If only you knew."

"Hey, can you guys cut it out? I'm trying to control a giant monster here!" Sam complained. "Now let's see…which button lets me kill things again?" Abruptly, Max struck a cheesy pose that would not have looked out of place in an anime featuring magical girls in ridiculously short skirts, except for the part with the person doing the pose being a giant tentacle-faced monstrosity. "No, that wasn't it…oh well, I'll figure it out eventually." He started steering Max towards the frost giants.

On the ground, Leo and Zippo, who had witnessed Max's transformation into Maxthulhu, stared at the giant monster striding through the ruins of the town in awe. "Oh wow, that is so cool! I didn't even know he could still do that!" Zippo said.

"Neither did I!" Leo frowned, a worrying thought occurring to him. "Uh, you don't think he's going to blow up again, do you?"

"Nah, and if he did he'll probably just teleport somewhere far away from here so we don't get hurt in the blast. I hope," Zippo said. He frowned. "Say, is it just me, or is he coming right towards us?"

"…Oh, crap," Leo said. They both yelled in alarm and scurried out of the way. Then they ran back to grab the modified Thermonuke harness they had been tinkering with so it wouldn't get crushed, and got out of the way again just before Maxthulhu could step on them, leaving a trail of scorched hoofprints in his wake.

"Phew! That was close," Zippo said.

"Yeah. Hey, take a picture of me in the hoofprint," Leo said, climbing down into the deep impression Maxthulhu's hooves had left behind.

"Uh, dudette, is it safe to go down there? There might be all kinds of horrible eldritch energies lingering from that junior elder god's passing through," Zippo said in concern.

"Exactly! Maybe I'll get mutated into a giant monster or something!" Leo said, grabbing some of the dirt from the bottom of the hoofprint and rubbing it into his face in hopes of absorbing any traces of forbidden magic that might still be in it.

"Ooh, good idea! When you're done, I want a turn!" Zippo said. "You aren't the only one who's fantasized about turning into a giant monster!"

"Sure thing! But…" Leo frowned. "If we _do_ transform, what're we gonna do about our girlfriends? They're gonna be kind of…small in comparison…"

Zippo frowned. "Oh yeah, I never thought about that. Dang…turn into a giant monster, or keep my girlfriend? How's a guy supposed to choose?"

"I know, right?" Leo agreed. "Such a tough choice!"

"Isn't there some way we could have both?" Zippo moaned.

"Maybe we could transfer some of our twisted energies into them to make them abominations to equal us?" Leo suggested.

"…I dunno, dudette. Do you think they'd like that? You know how chicks can get about their weight…being a chick and all," Zippo said.

Leo blinked. "Huh? What are you…oh, er, yes, yes of course, I would know, because I'm a womon. Right." He laughed nervously. "Uh, anyway, I don't think this is working."

"It's not?" Zippo asked in disappointment.

"Nah, I feel the same as always," Leo complained. "I'm not even feeling sick from radiation or magical poisoning, which would have been interesting in its own way."

"Bummer. Oh well," Zippo sighed. "I guess we'll have to find a way to become immortal some other way."

"Looks that way," Leo agreed, recalling the advice Darkrai had given him on the way to Zero Isle. It had seemed promising at the time, but…now he was having his doubts. How was he supposed to go about getting something like _that_ to happen?

Meanwhile, Maxthulhu had stomped up to the frost giants and bellowed ferociously, ready to battle…and it was then that a slight problem became clear. Maxthulhu was big, sure…but the frost giants were bigger. A LOT bigger. So big, in fact, that they were to Maxthulhu what Sam was to regular Sam in height. "Wow," one of the giants said, pausing in his attempts to fend off Team Getem. "That thing'f ugly."

"And short," the other giant agreed, hesitating in mid-swing, allowing a relieved Todd to fly to safety.

"Yeah," the first giant agreed. "Ffort and ugly."

"Let's kill it!" the other giant decided.

"Okay," the first giant said. Turning their backs on Team Getem, they started towards Maxthulhu, who had an almost worried look on his face.

"This could be a problem," Sam said uneasily as the giants advanced on them.

"You think? Oh well, looks like I get to die after all," the Narrator said cheerfully.

"What the…what _is_ that thing?" asked a revolted Rose.

"I think it's Max," Pikachu said wearily.

"Max? You mean that loud-mouthed _idiota_ who looks like a _disgustoso_ Buneary?" Lu asked incredulously.

"I'm afraid so," Pikachu said with a sigh.

"Whoa, cool!" Todd said, taking a picture.

"How did he become a giant monster?" Captain Salty wondered.

"I sense a strange and…unnerving power around him," Rose murmured.

"Is it enough to protect him from those frost giants?" Happy asked.

"I'm not sure," Rose confessed.

"Then our course is clear. We must help him against those monsters!" Sparky decided. "And since we have been unable to fell the beasts ourselves, perhaps together we can turn the tide against them!"

"Sounds good. Let's get them!" Pikachu rallied. They flew after the giants.

Salty was the first to attack, using the Splash Plate's power over water to liquefy the snow covering the ground and cause it to surge forwards and over the feet of the giants, rising up to their ankles. They looked at the flaming water in bewilderment. "What'f ffat fuppofed to do?" one asked.

"You'll need more water than that if you want to try drowning us!" the other sneered.

"Fough it doef kind of fting…why if it on ffire?" asked the first giant in confusion.

"Then it's a good thing there's lots of water all around us, but since doing something like that would probably drown everyone else in the valley too, it's a good thing that's not what I'm trying to do," Salty said in amusement as Pikachu and Sparky raised their swords, electricity crackling around them.

"Hey, big green guy! I'd jump right now if I were you!" Todd shouted as he swooped past Maxthulhu's head, bellowing into his large ears.

Hearing this, Sam checked the controls. "Do I even have a jump button? Oh, here it is." He pushed it, and Maxthulhu started breakdancing. George sweatdropped and the Narrator facepalmed. "Whoops, that wasn't it." He pressed another button. Maxthulhu crouched down and used the powerful mutated muscles in his vaguely lagomorphic legs to jump into the air...

And the instant he left the water-covered ground, Pikachu and Sparky fired lightning bolts into the sky. The dark clouds overhead flashed and rumbled, and a tremendous serpent made of flaming electricity shot down from the heavens and struck the giants, causing them to roar in pain as the water amplified the charge and filled their bodies with several million volts of flaming electricity, their massive forms flashing so brightly that their skeletons could be seen silhouetted under their skin. When the two electric rodents lowered their swords, the forms of the giants were sizzling, static crackling around their immense, twitching forms. Smoke rising from their scorched hair, they turned in unison towards the knight and samurai, murderous looks in their eyes.

Fortunately, before the giants could exact their revenge, Lu swooped down on Todd's back and blasted the water with a flaming Ice Beam, freezing it solid (yes, I know, despite it being a FLAMING Ice Beam, just go with it, okay? I mean, the water was on fire too, right?) and trapping the giants in place. "What, was that supposed to stop us?" one of them laughed as he wiggled his toes, cracking the ice.

"No, it was supposed to negate the electrified water so our big friend wouldn't have to worry," Lu said sweetly as Maxthulhu landed from his high jump, shattering the ice, and lunged forwards, driving a punch burning with eldritch flames into the giant's crotch…

Which did nothing. The giant laughed. Surprised, Maxthulhu punched, kicked, and even headbutted the giant's groin a few times, but to no avail. "I don't understand…why isn't that working? They're usually vulnerable in the junk!" said a shocked Sam.

"Weren't you listening earlier, you nincompoop? Frost giants don't reproduce, they're born from mountains! As a result, they have no gentialia for you to exploit like the lowbrow pugilist you are!" the Narrator sneered, his latest can wobbling in his hand and sloshing beer all over the place.

"Wow. No wonder they seem to be in a perpetually bad mood," Sam commented.

"Is that what's causing your bad attitude, too?" George asked the Narrator sarcastically.

"Well, it's not exactly as if there's anyone up here for me to spend some 'quality time' with!" the Narrator snapped.

"What about the id and the ego? If you're the superego, shouldn't they be around here somewhere?" George asked, looking around the living room.

"Max _is_ his id, so there was no need for a personification of it to materialize. As for the ego…" the Narrator looked sadly into his beer can. "I'd rather not talk about what happened to _that_ poor creature…"

"Oh," George said, feeling awkward.

"Nife try, little monfter…but not good enough!" the frost giant laughed, slugging Maxthulhu hard in the chest and causing the abomination to double over in agony as he was lifted off the ground and flung halfway across town, the valley shaking as he hit the ground. The giant ran over, the earth quaking beneath his feet, raising his club and bringing it down in a tremendously powerful blow towards the prostrate Maxthulhu. Maxthulhu quickly raised his hands to catch the club, arms shaking from the impact. Trembling, he struggled to keep the club from smashing into his face as the frost giant planted a massive foot over his lower body and pushed down with both hands, a malicious look in his eyes.

"Shake the remote," the Narrator suggested to Sam.

"What do you think I'm doing?" Sam snarled in retaliation as he frantically waved the remote back and forth, mimicking an image of the remote being shaken back and forth on screen, covering the picture of the club pressing down towards Maxthulhu's face.

"Then shake it harder!" the Narrator said helpfully.

"I _am_ shaking—whoops!" Sam cried in alarm as the remote flew out of his hand and across the living room, shattering one of the abstract sculptures against the wall.

"Ooh, I think you just destroyed Max's sense of taste," the Narrator said. "Nice going."

"Shouldn't his sense of taste be represented by a tongue or a fridge or something?" George asked.

"No, his _aesthetic_ taste, not his appetite," the Narrator corrected. "Granted, he didn't have much taste to begin with, but now he's probably going to redecorate the place to make it look a lot more garish and unsightly."

"Um, I'd better go get that," an embarrassed Sam said, rushing over to collect the remote.

"This is why you should have gotten an X-Box 360 or PS3! Those have a far lower risk of causing bodily and property damage!" the Narrator yelled after Sam.

"Yes, but the Wii doesn't have to worry about RROD or deleting games by accident," Sam said as he fished the remote out of the ruins of the sculpture. "Plus, it was cheaper."

"Of course, it always comes down to money in the end, doesn't it?" the Narrator sneered.

"Well, it kinda has to, the economy's not exactly in the best shape, especially with Max in charge of it," Sam pointed out.

"And whose bright idea was it to put him in that position, anyway?" the Narrator asked.

"The Commissioner," Sam replied.

"Ah, yes, the Commissioner," the Narrator said with a disdainful roll of his eyes. "Remind me why the two of you slavishly obey a man you've never met in person, even _after_ being put in charge of the most powerful country in the world and therefore theoretically outrank him?"

Sam shrugged as he reattached the remote to the nunchuk and walked back to the TV. "Can't think of a reason not to."

"Feh," the Narrator said in disgust, chugging down some beer.

"Um, why hasn't that club crushed us yet?" asked a confused George as Sam started shaking the remote again.

"When the remote got disconnected, the game automatically paused because it couldn't sense it anymore," Sam said.

George blinked. "But…this isn't a game, it's _real_ _life_…how…"

"It's best not to think too hard about these things, otherwise you'll go insane," the Narrator said, patting her on the hand patronizingly.

The grin spreading across the frost giant's face grew wider and wider as Maxthulhu's struggles began to weaken, eagerly anticipating the taste of the strange creature's flesh…and then that grin disappeared as Captain Briney, flashing through the sky like a silver bullet, drove his flaming fist into the giant's eye all the way up to the elbow. The ocular surface caved in on itself partway due to the force of the Metang's punch, then exploded back outwards as Briney tore his hand, his bladed mustache held in it to cause extra damage in the exit wound, back out, bringing with him several gallons of optical fluids and nerves. "There's mud in your eye!" Briney laughed as he telekinetically slid all the gushing juices and blood off him and put his mustache back on.

The giant howled in pain, letting go of his club to clasp his eye, Briney barely managing to fly out of the way before he could get smashed into the giant's face by its huge hands. Maxthulhu kept hold of the club, however, and with renewed strength thrust it upwards, driving the point on its narrow end into the giant's throat. The giant choked and swayed backwards, gasping for breath, causing the pressure his foot was exerting on Maxthulhu's lower body to dissipate and allow the smaller monster to push upwards with his legs. With a little help from a telekinetic shove provided by Briney and the Goldorringtons, who arrived on the Captain's heels, the abomination managed to topple the giant, knocking it to the ground with a crash that rocked the valley.

"Woohoo! That was awesome!" Buck cheered.

"Quite," Silvia agreed. "But, uh, aren't we supposed to be _fighting_ giants, rather than helping them?"

"No worries dear, this one's clearly on our side," Goldor said.

Silvia gave Goldor a skeptical look as Maxthulhu, who to her senses radiated unspeakable horror and madness, rose to his feet. "And you know this because…?"

"Because he was fighting the giants, too! And after all, the enemy of my enemy is my friend," Goldor said.

"Sounds reasonable," Briney agreed. "And if he turns on us, we'll just kill him, too."

"Booyah!" Buck said.

"Captain! It's good to see you're okay!" Pikachu shouted from the back of Sparky's ride.

"What, you didn't really think a little explosion like that would put me out of commission, did you?" Briney chortled.

"You lot take care of that giant, we'll help our friend here defeat this one!" Goldor called to Team Getem.

"No problem! We've got it handled!" Pikachu replied.

"Uh, do we?" Todd asked doubtfully. "I thought we were having a lot of trouble fighting these guys."

"That was when there were two of them, now that we only have one to worry about, we should be able to take it down on our own," Lu replied.

"Oh," Todd said. "Yeah, I guess that makes sense." He sighed. "I wouldn't have minded some super-sized backup, though…"

"Who needs that kind of help when you have the power of the Original One on your side?" Sparky said.

Rose nodded. "Right! Let's show him the true power of the Plates!"

"Quite…but, ah, what was that about a 'Captain,' Ronin? I thought Brindleworth was a Professor," Happy said.

"Yes, I thought I was the only Captain around here," Salty agreed.

Pikachu sweatdropped. "Um…look, it's kind of a long story. I'll explain later, okay? Right now, let's focus on the giant, before he decides that Talking Isn't a Free Action and goes back to trying to kill us."

"Die, puny ones!" the giant bellowed, charging towards them with his club.

_Right on cue,_ Pikachu thought, somewhat relieved he wouldn't have to worry about how the other team of adventurers would react to learning the truth just yet. The heroes split up, flying around the giant as he blundered past them, swinging his arms wildly to try and strike them. Rose used Double Team to surround the giant's head in a ring of illusory Taillows and used druidic magic to have them all attack with Gusts of razor-edged wind. The weaponized superheated air blew fiercely against the giant, but other than making his hair even wilder than usual, it failed to do any harm. Snarling, the giant puckered his lips and blew, his frigid breath dissipating the fakes…

And allowing the real Rose to fly past his face, slashing at one of his eyes with her staff as she went. The giant cried in pain and clutched the eye while raising his free hand to try and catch the Tailow. Much to his surprise, the bird dissipated on contact, and he realized he'd been fooled again. He growled in fury and looked around wildly for something to vent his rage and pain on. He got his chance when Pikachu and Sparky zapped past him, their winged dragon having turned into a living lightning bolt that zigzagged all over the place, firing sparks and bolts of electricity in its wake. He tried to hit them with his club, but the lightning bolt just zipped over and past it, dropping Pikachu as it went. As Sparky kept his mount flying and firing distractions, the samurai clenched his sword in his teeth and dashed up the length of the club, doing his best not to slip on its icy surface. At the same time, Rose fired a spread of bright spells which exploded in flashes of light which dazzled but otherwise did not harm the giant, allowing Todd to swoop over the giant's head and drop Lu onto the monster's skull. The Glaceon vanished into the matted and messy shags of hair covering the giant's cranium, disappearing as only an assassin can.

While Pikachu and Lu both made their way onto the giant's body, Captain Salty, concentrating with all his might, used his control over liquids to rip a significant amount of moisture from the giant's body. The giant wheezed as his mouth and throat and just about every other part of him went dry, his skin sagging and shrinking as he underwent severe dehydration in mere seconds. Much thinner than he had been moments ago, he staggered about, feeling lightheaded and in dire need of a drink. While Salty drew all the water he'd sucked out together, congealing it into a single great glob of liquid, Happy flew close to the giant's skin, making a series of passes around his body and depositing dozens of flaming eggs she was able to generate using the power of the Insect Plate. The eggs instantly hatched into burning maggotlike proto-bugs, which wriggled and burrowed into the giant's flesh, which had become much thinner and easier to penetrate due to Salty sucking the moisture out of it. The giant howled in pain and frantically started scratching all over the place, struggling to get at the grubs that were biting and chewing at him, but most of them had already crawled under his skin where he couldn't reach them, no matter how hard he desperately scratched and scraped. Rose made him itch even more by flying around chaotically and flinging Air Slashes all over the place, her aerial blades breaking the skin and drawing blood due to its reduced toughness.

"Hey, why don't you do anything with his blood?" Todd asked Salty as he flew near. "Couldn't you control it using the Splash Plate, too?"

"Theoretically, yes," Salty murmured, not taking his eyes off the water he was congealing, leeching extra moisture from the air and the snow to make it grow and grow. "However, I haven't gained full mastery over the Plate yet. If I had, I'd have just ripped _all_ the water out of him and caused him to shrivel into dust."

"Oh," Todd said.

"As for blood…I _suppose_ I could try and take control of it, but…hardened veteran and warrior that I am, something about that seems a bit unclean," Salty admitted. "It feels wrong to use Arceus's power that way. Granted, I'm using His power to kill people in other ways, but…oh, I don't know, it might just be the foolish whimsy of an old mon."

"Well, the power is yours to do with as you please, so if you feel that strongly about it…" Todd shrugged.

"I do, thank you," Salty grunted. He looked at the big glob of water he'd formed, judging it to be big enough. Concentrating his will, he elongated and thinned it out, making it take the shape of an enormous spear made totally out of flaming water. With a great cry, he hurled the spear at the giant.

Incredibly thirsty and somewhat unhinged due to the bugs that were even now crawling into his brain, the giant opened his mouth wide, as if to _drink_ the spear down. (Yes, despite it being on fire. Maybe he thought it was alcohol or something?) This did not work quite the way he had planned, however, when the spear went into his mouth…and the point ripped out through the back of his head. His howls of agony were muffled somewhat by the thick shaft stuck between his jaws. "Whoa!" said an astonished Todd, taking a picture. "How did you do that? It was made of _water!_"

"With enough pressure and force behind it, water can cut through concrete like a laser," Salty said smugly. "Never underestimate it!"

"I won't," Todd promised. "Especially since I'm already weak to it!"

As the giant moaned and stumbled about, Lu popped out of a patch of hair and fired an Ice Beam at the water spear, freezing it solid. She then fired a flaming Shadow Ball at the same time as Pikachu and Sparky hurled fiery Thunderbolts, Rose fired an energy blast from her staff, and Salty fired lasers from his eyes and jewel. The attacks slammed into the ice spear and shattered it, causing it to fragment inside the giant's head and cut up his mouth horribly, blood spouting all over the place in great droves as he screamed in agony. "Ugh," Todd said, before snapping a picture.

"War can often be very gory, lad. It's a fact of life," Salty said sagely.

As blood spilled from his grotesquely wounded mouth, the giant bent down and started shoveling snow into his jaws to try and staunch the bleeding and ease the pain. Amazingly, despite the grievous injuries he'd suffered—and the giant hole in the back of his neck!—it didn't look like he was anywhere near dead yet. "Arceus!" said an astonished Happy. "He's still standing after all that?"

"Well, he _is_ a giant," Rose pointed out. "They have a reputation for being among the biggest and toughest of all magical creatures."

"Yes, well, as they say: the bigger they are, the harder they fall!" Sparky said, circling the giant to fire more lightning blasts, careful to focus the wattage into lance-like spurs rather than wide-area bursts so as not to risk harming Pikachu or Lu.

"Well, it's certainly proving to be pretty hard to make this guy fall, so I guess whoever said that was right," Happy commented wryly as she mentally commanded her brood inside the monster's body to mature into many-legged parasites that she hoped would chew at the giant's organs and vital parts until he finally dropped dead.

_Perhaps I can be of some assistance?_ A telepathic voice rang through their heads.

They looked around in surprise. Who had said that? "Rebecca?" Sparky cried, recognizing the voice. "Is that you?"

_Yes. It's taken a while, but I've almost finished something that I think might prove helpful in taking down that brute_, the Hypno said.

"We didn't ask for your help," Salty said bluntly.

"Salty!" Sparky hissed.

_Whether you asked for it or not, you're getting it,_ Rebecca said firmly. _Just keep that thing occupied for a few moments longer, and I'll join the fight._

"How exactly will that help, though?" Rose asked. "I mean no offense, but I doubt hypnosis or spirits can do much against something this big."

_Oh, you'll see soon enough, young one,_ the Hypno said with a chuckle, her telepathic voice fading away.

Team Getem exchanged puzzled looks and shrugged. "Well, you heard the womon," Sparky said. "Let's keep fighting!"

"You didn't need to tell me twice," Salty said, drawing more moisture from the air and snow around them to form a slightly smaller water spear, which he flung at the giant. The giant, though weakened and dazed from all the agony they'd inflicted on it, was ready for the attack this time, and tried to deflect it with his club. It partially worked; except rather than flying away, the spear penetrated his club and got stuck. He stared at it in surprise, and then quickly bashed the club into the ground, splashing the water all over the place. He grinned, his smile gruesome due to all the blood and broken teeth…

And had the smile wiped from his face when Salty commanded the water to rise up around the giant's feet and congeal into a thick blob, holding him in place. Surprised, the giant struggled to withdraw his feet from the water, his attempts to smash it failing since unlike the ice he'd been stuck in earlier, it was too fluid, flowing to maintain its shape in response to his efforts to extrude himself from its mass. "Sparky, you're up," Salty said.

"But what about Happy's kids?" Todd asked.

"Oh, don't worry, they've burrowed deep enough into his innards to be shielded from most of the shock," Happy said.

"…Ew," said a disgusted Todd.

"Lu, get moving! Pikachu, ready yourself! This is going to be a big one!" Sparky cried as he raised his sword, mustering his power. The storm clouds started swirling overhead, the snow spiraling around him as the weather changed to accommodate his will.

"Here I go!" Lu said, jumping off the giant's shoulder, much to the monster's surprise, since he hadn't even known she was there.

Rose generated a whirlwind to catch the Glaceon, the air cushion supporting her and keeping her from plummeting to her death. "Did you do what you set out to do?"

Lu smiled and nodded. "_Si,_ that _gigante_ will soon have another thing to roar about!"

Pikachu raised his sword, the light flashing off it catching the giant's eye and surprising him again, because he hadn't know the samurai was on his other shoulder, either. "I'm ready! Let it rip!"

Sparky did. He fired a flaming Thunderbolt up into the sky, and the heavens responded by sending back a fiery lightning bolt a thousand times as large. It struck his sword, which glowed so brilliantly as it drank up the electricity it was as if the sun had returned to the snowed-in Dusty Ditch. With a howl as much of pain as of ecstasy, Sparky drove Durendal into the back of his mount, transferring all of its power into the thunder dragon. The dragon bellowed, its ululations like thunderclaps, and transformed itself into a tremendous arrow of flaming lightning. As Sparky backflipped off the arrow, landing on Todd's back, the projectile fired itself at the giant. The beast's eyes widened in alarm, and it swung its club at the arrow, trying to deflect it.

It didn't work. The club shattered in a blast of light and heat that caused the giant to recoil, wailing as his hands blistered and burned, and then _all_ of him burned when the arrow struck the water surrounding the giant's feet. The giant's screams echoed to every corner of the land as he convulsed wildly, his body flashing blindingly and exposing his skeleton in between strobe-like flickers. And that was just the beginning, as the electrical charge triggered the bombs Lu had planted in his ear, ripping open a huge cavity in the side of his head in a tremendous explosion. "Cooooool," Todd said, snapping a picture.

"Your lass is pretty good at demolition," Salty said approvingly.

"Well, she _is_ an assassin," Sparky said proudly. Once he'd have been surprised to hear himself say that, considering knights and assassins didn't really…get along, but he now knew Lu well enough to respect her skills and the benefit they brought to the team. Even if he wasn't entirely happy about how she'd acquired them…

To keep himself from being overloaded by the holy (and fiery) electricity, Pikachu grounded himself with his tail and pointed his sword into the air, allowing his body to be a channel through which the energy could flow into his sacred blade and out into the open air, dissipating (relatively) harmlessly in the atmosphere. He had to grit his teeth as he did so, every cell of his body filled almost to the point of overcharge as the power coursed through him, his cheeks spitting out sparks as they tried to discharge the excess electricity. He had thought the power of Thunder Fang to be great…but now he knew it paled next to that of the Zap Plate. Any lingering feelings of jealousy he had harbored towards Sparky dissipated, he now realized there was no way he could utilize such incredible power without it burning him up from within. It took a special Electric-type to be able to master such power…and clearly Sparky was that special Electric-type.

Of course, he doubted Sparky would ever be able to wield Thunder Fang. At least there was one thing he'd always be able to do that the knight could not.

Eventually, the last of the electricity burned itself out, allowing the giant to collapse to his knees as the supercharged water evaporated, his blue flesh turned almost black and sizzling, most of his hair burned off. Embers and arcs of static still crackled off his body, and his muscles twitched and spasmed, both due to residual energy and because Happy's spawn were eating them. The giant's chest heaved, his breath coming out in shallow, abrupt gasps as he tried to still his palpitating heart. Every part of him hurt so much he almost didn't notice the very large wound in the side of his head, though that might have been because he'd lost so much blood he couldn't feel it. Pikachu, equally worn out, sagged, leaning on his sword so he could catch his breath. He reflexively licked one paw and started running it down his fur, which had puffed out in all directions due to all the juice that had passed through it, starting a few times as he shocked himself, but overall lulling himself into a calm stupor as he regained his wits…

And then lost them again when the giant reached up and plucked him off his shoulder, squeezing so tightly that his ribs started cracking. He tried to stab Thunder Fang into the giant's fingers, but the blade was pressed to his side, and while mere contact with its metal was enough to electrify any evildoer, considering how big the giant was in comparison and how little the shock was compared to what he'd just experienced, the monster didn't even notice. "Gaaahhh! Heeelllp!"

Team Getem gasped. "Oh no!" Todd cried as he took a picture.

"Quick, we have to attack him!" Rose said, spreading her wings.

"No, wait, we'll only kill Pikachu!" Sparky protested.

"Huh? I thought his name was Ronin," Todd said in confusion. "Why do you keep calling him that? And what kind of Pokémon has the same name as his species, anyway?"

"It's, uh, complicated," Sparky said lamely. "But what's _not_ complicated is that he'll die if we try to attack the giant!"

Lu nodded in agreement. "_Si_, that _gigante_ is so big the slightest tightening of a muscle will squash the samurai into red pulp. If we attack, he could kill him out of reflex!"

"Or malice! And what's to stop him from killing him now? We can't just do nothing!" Rose protested.

"No, but…what _can_ we do?" Happy asked. The Taillow hesitated, uncertain.

"There…might be _one_ thing I can do," Salty said slowly and reluctantly.

The others glanced at him. "What?" Rose asked.

Todd gasped. "Wait…you don't mean-"

"If I use the power of the Splash Plate on his blood, I can manipulate it to take control of his body and force it to let Pikachu go," Salty said. "I could even…kill him. Overload his heart, make it burst."

"But…you can't," Sparky protested. "You said you'd never use that power, because it would take you down a road you didn't want to take!"

"I don't want to," Salty admitted. "But…I can't hover by and let someone die because of my unwillingness to act. So I have no choice but to do it…no matter how much I'll hate myself later."

"But-" Sparky started.

"Don't try to talk me out of it, boy!" Salty snapped. "This has to be done! And besides…I've killed hundreds in all sorts of gruesome and brutal ways over the years. What's one more grisly death to add to my conscience?"

"…Captain…" Sparky said quietly.

"If…if this is what must be done, then…we will not stop you," Happy said softly.

"Horrible as it may be, we will forgive you, even if you cannot forgive yourself," Lu said.

"As will Arceus," Rose said.

Salty laughed bitterly. "Right, like He's going to forgive me for using His power to do something as terrible as this…well, it's not like I wasn't damned anyway. What harm's one more sin going to do?" He closed his eyes and started concentrating…

_No, I don't think that will be necessary,_ Cherry said in their minds.

There was a flash of light, and suddenly Pikachu was no longer being held in the giant's grip, but on the ground, next to Cherry and Rebecca. He gasped and sagged to the ground, clutching his sides in pain. "What…what happened?"

"I teleported you," Cherry said, eyes glowing as she cast a healing spell.

"…But…Girafarig can't _learn_ Teleport," Pikachu protested as his bones mended themselves, knowing it was somewhat petulant of him to be arguing with the person who had just rescued him.

"They can't learn the Teleport _technique,_ the spell is fair game," Cherry explained.

Pikachu sweatdropped. "Ah. Of course."

"Huh? Where did fhe mouffy go?" the giant asked in confusion, blood spraying from his mouth and the holes in his head as he looked at his empty hand in puzzlement.

"Cherry saved him! Thank goodness!" Rose said in relief.

"Salty, you can stop now, Pikachu's safe!" Sparky cried.

"No lad, I've already committed myself to this, I can't back down now!" Salty growled, jewels glowing ominously.

_That will not be necessary. I've got this,_ Rebecca told them.

A nearby mountain started shaking, causing thousands of tons of snow and rock to start cascading down its surface as great cracks and fissures split open all over its face. As Team Getem looked at the mountain in surprise, the frost giant started laughing uproariously, losing a lot more blood in the process. "Aha! It lookf like anoffer one off my brofferf if about to be born…and he'll make you pay ffor what you'f done to me!"

The heroes exchanged horrified looks. "_Another_ frost giant?" Rose cried.

"We can barely handle this one, if one more joins the fray…" Happy said anxiously.

"Well, looks like you can't stop me after all…if we're to survive this, I'm going to have to do 'that' to kill both of them," Salty said gloomily.

"No…wait…" Lu murmured, narrowing her eyes at the transformation taking place on the mountain. "I'm not sure this is a frost giant. I think it might be…something else…"

This indeed seemed to be the case. Rather than cracking open like an eggshell to reveal a newborn frost giant—the way members of that species were brought into the world back in Niflheim—the mountain itself seemed to be taking on a life of its own. With a tremendous crack, four immense arms of stone burst out of its sides, debris flying all over the place. More layers of rock shattered and tumbled everywhere as the mountain's base unfolded into a set of six thick pillars of stone that tore the peak out of the ground with a rupture that sounded like the end of the world. An immense horizontal fissure split open along its front, a brilliant blue glow shining from within as it widened. Two smaller fissures opened higher up the face of the mountain above the bigger crack, similar light emanating from their depths. Much to the astonishment of Team Getem, it actually looked sort of like…a _face!_

"_Mi dios…_" Lu whispered.

"It's…it's so _big,_" said an awestruck Happy.

"What…what the Abyss is that?" Salty cried in amazement as Todd snapped a picture.

Rose gasped. "Oh my gosh…that…that's a mountain spirit!"

"A what?" Sparky asked, unable to take his eyes off the immense creature, so large it was at least half again as wide as the frost giant and a few hundred feet taller thanks to the immense pillars that seemed to serve as its legs.

"A mountain spirit! Just as all living creatures have souls, so too do all inanimate objects have spirits," Rose explained. "Most of the time those spirits are dormant, but a good enough mage in touch with the forces of nature can awaken them and call them to their aid. Some spirits are more difficult to summon than others, however, and mountain spirits are among the hardest to awaken of all, due to how ancient and _massive_ they are! I don't think anyone's managed to do it in hundreds of years!"

_Until now,_ Rebecca said smugly, though there was an undertone of pain and exhaustion in her telepathic voice. _Stand back, kids, I'll take it from here!_

"Kids? Who's she calling a kid?" Salty snarled as the mountain spirit ponderously started towards them, its huge legs leaving thick round indentations in the ground as it went, slabs of rocks and dirt sliding off its form with every motion it made.

"You can yell at her for calling you that later, right now I think we need to move so we don't get caught in the middle of this!" Happy cried, spreading her wings and flying out of the way. The others followed as quickly as they could, except for Todd.

"Come on, move!" Sparky hissed, stamping on the back of the Aerodactyl's…back.

"But this is such a great angle! I _need_ to be up close to get the best pictures of this spectacular showdown!" Todd protested.

Sparky facepalmed and briefly considered electrocuting the photomancer, before reminding himself that they'd both plummet to their deaths and get crushed beneath the feet of the two giants. "Wouldn't you be able to get a better image from further away, where you'll be able to see all of their mass more easily?" he asked instead.

Todd considered this for a moment. "Ah. Good idea. Let's move!"

As they flew out of the way, the giant sneered, clenching his fists and trying to muster his faltering strength. "If…if fat fuppofed to fcare me? I'm a ffroft giant! We fmash mountainf ffor ffun!"

_Oh yeah? Have you ever smashed a mountain that could hit _back?Rebecca taunted as the mountain spirit drew back a massive arm and threw a punch at the giant. The giant dodged the punch, the stone fist breezing past his missing ear, and charged forwards, bellowing (and spitting blood) at the top of his lungs. He rammed into the living mountain, throwing all his strength and mass against it…

And the mountain would not budge, rocking back slightly as it used its multiple legs to stabilize itself. Gripping the giant with two of its arms, it shoved the giant back, then began pounding it in the face with its other two hands, pulverizing it with fists the size of small buildings. His face turning black and blue and his head ringing from the blows, the giant struggled, found himself unable to break free from the rock-solid grip of the mountain, so instead lashed out with his massive feet, smashing them into the knees of the spirit's two front legs and cracking them, causing the mountain to stumble forward, the legs crumbling further as it put too much weight on them. Taking advantage of the mountain spirit's moment of weakness, the giant thrust his arms off, not only breaking free from the hold of the two arms clutching him but breaking the arms as well, house-sized boulders and bits of stone falling and crushing the remnants of the destroyed town around them. Bellowing, the giant lunged, headbutting the mountain spirit hard enough to crack both of their skulls before laying into it with all his might, punching it in the face again and again with powerful blows that sent chips of stone flying everywhere and left deep craters in the surface of the mountain. The spirit staggered backwards, seeming to weaken beneath the barrage of rock-splitting punches, and the giant eagerly surged forwards to land what he believed would be the final blow…

And was surprised when the mountain spirit opened its mouth wide, allowing his fist inside, and slammed its jaws shut on the giant's elbow. The giant howled in pain and desperately pounded on the spirit's face, trying to get it to open back up and yield its limb, but the mountain wasn't having any of it. It grabbed the giant's head in one of its remaining hands and squeezed, the monster's screams muffled by the thick layer of stone covering his face, then planted its other hand on the giant's chest and _shoved_ without relinquishing its grip on the giant's elbow. The result was about what you'd expect: the giant was pushed away from the spirit, staggering back and tripping over his own legs as his aching head swam, spilling blood all over the snow-covered rubble nearby…

And then he realized that a lot of that blood wasn't coming just from his mangled head, but from the stump that was all that was left of his right arm. He screamed in agony as the mountain spirit opened its mouth, pulled out the severed limb, and carelessly tossed it aside before advancing to try for two for two, and avenge the arms the giant had ripped off. The giant stumbled to his feet, only to sway due to his dizziness from blood loss and the poundings he'd taken already, allowing the mountain spirit to easily hit him with a punch so strong it caved half his face in, sending the off-balance monster spinning on one foot before getting punched by the other fist, caving in the second half of his face and making his features even more gruesome than ever, but also more symmetrical. The mountain spirit kept moving, forcing the frost giant back with an unceasing flurry of blows, refusing to slow down or grant the giant even a second to catch his breath or counterattack. When the spirit knocked the giant to the ground with a tremendous haymaker that nearly split his skull open, the giant desperately lashed out with a kick at the spirit's weakened forelegs, hoping to smash them completely and bring it tumbling down. Unfortunately, the spirit wasn't going to fall for that again, and raised its legs off the ground just before the giant could hit them, bringing them back down just as the leg passed underneath them, pinning the giant's limb to the ground and bringing the mountain's full weight down on it. The giant shrieked as his leg broke under the pressure, tears of blood oozing from his eyes (and every other orifice).

The spirit marched forwards, tromping across the leg with its other feet and breaking it further, throwing the giant into too many paroxysms of pain to resist or fight back. Planting one leg on the giant's other leg, one leg on the giant's remaining arm, two legs on the giant's chest and one on the ground for balance, the spirit raised its sixth leg high into the air over the giant's head and brought it down repeatedly, stomping and smashing and bludgeoning until the underside of its foot was turned bright red. As the giant's struggles weakened and finally stopped, the spirit paused, then raised its leg into the air one last time and stamped it down with as much force as it could muster, completely crushing the giant's head and bringing an end to the monster's life. A satisfied grin on its craggy features, the mountain spirit lowered itself to the ground, retracting its limbs and completely covering the defeated giant beneath its bulk, closing its eyes and mouth and returning to its eons-long slumber, a massive grave marker to show where all that was left of one of Niflheim's most dangerous warriors had been laid to rest. If it weren't for the big hole where it had torn itself out of the ground or the massive destruction it had caused, there would have been nothing to show that it was anything other than a regular old mountain, and that it had ever been located anywhere other than where it now sat.

Team Getem stared at the dormant mountain, stunned speechless. "That," Sparky said finally. "That was…"

"Yeah," Lu said. She leaned against him, and they looked at the mountain in silence.

"There are no words to describe what we just witnessed," Todd said solemnly. "Which is why it's a good thing I got lots of pictures."

Salty shook his head slowly. "And here I thought I'd seen everything…I guess this world still has a few surprises left in it for an old sea Growlithe like me…"

"That was incredible," Happy breathed.

"Yeah," Rose agreed. She gasped, something occurring to her. "Oh! Happy, your children! They were still in there!"

"Oh don't worry, they're fine," Happy assured her. "They'll spend the next several months consuming the giant's corpse before burrowing out to the surface and flying off to seek their future elsewhere."

"That's certainly going to be an unpleasant surprise for anyone in the area when that happens," Sparky said with a grimace.

"Will there _be_ anyone in the area, though?" Lu asked. "I mean…just look at this place. The town is completely destroyed, and everyone who lived in it was killed before we even got here. Nobody could possibly live here again."

"They'll rebuild," Sparky said confidently. "People always do. That's the wonderful thing about Pokémon, as a species, I mean. No matter what troubles or challenges knock us down, we'll always get back up and try again."

"And besides, this place was a major stop on the railroad," Todd pointed out. "So they've gotta rebuild the place, which means there'll definitely be people here when Happy's kids dig their way out into the sunshine…and I'll be here too, because I want to see it happen! And take a picture, of course. Do you want a copy, Happy?"

"Nah, I'm good," the Butterfree said.

"We had better go see if Pikachu is 'good' as well, along with the others," Sparky said, noting that the other giants had not fallen just yet.

"Good idea," Lu said. "And by the way, why are you calling him 'Pikachu?'"

"Yeah, you said you were going to explain that," Rose said.

Sparky sighed. "I did, didn't I? Well, it's sort of like this…"

And speaking of the samurai in question…

"That…that was unbelievable," said an astonished Pikachu, as he stared up at the mountain, still finding it hard to believe that just a few moments ago it had been walking about and beating the crap out of a frost giant.

"I know, right?" Cherry said. "I already foresaw it happening, but it was just as amazing to see the second time around."

"Ha, you only saw it, I was _there_ controlling the damn thing!" Rebecca said as she stopped glowing and slowly got up. "It was unlike anything I've ever experienced…I can't believe I was able to awaken it and survive! You were right, Cherry, I had nothing to…to…" She trailed off.

Pikachu frowned. "Rebecca? What's wrong?"

"That's…funny. I haven't been able to see with my physical eyes in decades, but…I could swear that I could see…a…light…" She gasped, clutched her chest, and fell to the ground, her pendulum flying from her fingers and landing in a snowbank.

"REBECCA!" Pikachu shouted in horror, rushing over to her. "What-what happened?"

"She died," Cherry said calmly.

"What?" Pikachu cried.

"Nobody has summoned a mountain spirit in years…because the effort required is so great that nobody's been able to survive doing it. Even back in her prime, Rebecca would've been unable to manage it. As old as she is now, her body didn't stand a chance," Cherry said.

Pikachu stiffened and stared at her in horror. "…You knew this was going to happen."

"I did," Cherry said.

"But…but you let her go along with it? I thought…I thought she was your friend!" Pikachu protested.

"She is," Cherry said. "My dearest friend in the world."

"Then why…why would you let her do this?" Pikachu screamed, cheeks sparking in anger. "Why would you allow her to do something like that?"

"Because I knew she would be fine," Cherry said.

"Fine? She's DEAD!" Pikachu screamed, tears flowing down his cheeks and causing angry sparks to fly off his tattooed sacs.

"That's right," Cherry said, walking past Pikachu to telekinetically fish the pendulum from the snow before it could be buried completely. "She is."

"…By what definition could that _possibly_ be considered fine?" Pikachu demanded.

Cherry gave him a surprised look. "Several, but…wait, you mean you thought she was going to _stay_ dead?"

Pikachu blinked. "Huh?" He started when Rebecca's body started glowing.

Cherry burst into laughter. "Oh, you silly samurai. Rebecca's a _spiritualist._ She's very in touch with the spirit world. So if anyone's going to come back as a Ghost, it'd be her!"

Pikachu's jaw dropped as the glow flowed out of Rebecca's body and congealed in the air, taking mass and solidifying into a magnificent pink tentacled creature with a bulbous head tipped by a crown-shaped tuft, a frilly ring around its neck, two 'arm' tentacles with wavy pads at their ends, and blue eyes with red sclera. The Ghost, a Frillish, yawned and rubbed its eyes with a tentacle…and paused, realizing that its arm was a tentacle, and not a hand. She blinked and stared at the tentacle in bewilderment…and then she realized she could see, and was floating, which was not something she had been able to do before. "CHERRY!" she shouted. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?"

"Nothing, Rebecca," the Girafarig said with a chuckle. "You did it to yourself. You died, remember? And you came back as a Ghost!"

"…Oh, right. I _did_ die, didn't I?" Rebecca murmured. "Huh. Which is funny, because I distinctly remember you telling me I _wouldn't die!_"

"No, I told you you'd be _fine._ At no point did I ever say you wouldn't die," Rebecca said with a smirk on both her faces.

The newly dead Ghost smacked her forehead with a tentacle. "Ugh! I can't believe I didn't catch that! Dammit, I've known you long enough to realize that you would mess with semantics like that! And now I'm dead…great."

"It was _your_ choice to summon the mountain spirit, not mine," Cherry said. "You were fully aware of the consequences."

"You tricked me into thinking something else would happen other than what I knew _should_ happen!" Rebecca snapped. "Arceusdammit, Cherry, I wasn't ready to die yet! I had lots of things I wanted to do!"

"You can still do them now," Cherry pointed out. "There's no reason you can't just because you're a Ghost. In fact, you can do them even more easily now, since you have more time to do it in and your spiritual powers have increased significantly due to becoming, well, a spirit."

"Well, yeah, but I had hoped to die on my own terms, not get tricked into it by my so-called 'best friend,'" Rebecca grumbled. She looked at herself in distaste. "Ugh, just look at me, I'm _pink!_ Why the heck am I a Frillish, anyway? I'm not a Water-type, didn't die near water, and didn't favor water over any of the other elements."

"…That, I don't know," Cherry admitted.

"What's this? You mean there's something you _don't know?_" Rebecca mock-gasped. "Dear Arceus in the Celestial Heavens, it must be the end of the world! The Abyss has frozen over!" She paused and looked at their surroundings. "Well, I suppose I could have phrased that better…"

Cherry shook her head in bemusement. "You certainly could have…look, I'm sorry for tricking you like that, but I knew a mountain spirit would be the best way to kill that giant without getting one or more of Team Getem killed or forcing them to do something they'd regret for the rest of their lives. And I also knew that you'd come back as a Ghost. I foresaw it, just as I've foreseen that you'll come to enjoy your current status."

"You really think so?" Rebecca asked skeptically.

"Sure. Now that it's over and done with, being dead isn't so bad, is it?" Cherry asked.

"…Well, no, I guess not," Rebecca admitted. "Now that I'm past it, it doesn't seem like such a big deal anymore. Really, now I'm wondering why I was dreading it so much. I mean, I knew this was going to happen eventually, so why was I so worried about it?"

"Most people are afraid of death on some level, I suppose," Cherry said with a shrug.

"Well, I'm certainly not anymore," Rebecca said. "Although I suppose I'd like to avoid being killed _again_ if possible. I mean, I just got this new—and rather attractive—body, and I want a chance to use it to the fullest now that it's mine."

"That's the spirit! As are you," Cherry joked. Pikachu smiled and shook his head in bemusement as the two friends laughed, glad that they had managed to reconcile their differences…although he wasn't sure that he'd have been so forgiving if one of _his_ friends were responsible for his death. Well, he didn't think so, anyway. He guessed it depended on the circumstances…

And speaking of which, he really hoped none of the others were dead.

As Team Getem swooped down to reunite with Pikachu, Cherry, and the reincarnated Rebecca, Maxthulhu, Briney, and the Goldorringtons continued their fight against the second frost giant. Maxthulhu had kept his grip on the giant's club, and was eagerly swinging it around willy-nilly, apparently uncaring that he came dangerously close to bashing one of the four Psychics in the process of trying to clobber the giant. "Hey, watch it! You almost hit me!" Buck yelled.

"We're on your side, you nincompoop!" Silvia cried, narrowly dodging a club swing.

"Does that idiot have any idea what he's doing?" Goldor demanded.

"Hmm." Briney used his Psychic powers to peer inside of Maxthulhu's head and read the minds of the people in Max's brain/living room.

_I have no idea what I'm doing, but I figure if I press enough buttons and shake the remote and nunchuk enough I'll eventually get it right,_ Sam thought.

_Briney, stop reading my mind,_ the Narrator thought.

"Nope," Briney said.

"Ftop fwinging fat fing around! Fat'f not how you ufe it!" the giant snarled angrily, managing to catch the club's thick end and wrench it out of Maxthulhu's grip. "_Fif_ if how you ufe it!" He swung it at Maxthulhu, cracking him on the head and flinging the lagomorphic abomination back several hundred feet.

"That thing really causes too much trouble in that cretin's hands," Goldor huffed. "What do you say we 'liberate it' from him, like we did before?"

Briney cracked his knuckles. "Sounds good to me. Let's do it."

All four of them concentrated on the club, and just like before, it levitated out of the giant's grip. He moaned when he saw it rise into the air. "Aw man, my club'f poffeffed _again?_ Fif really ifn't my day!" He tried to grab the club, but the four Psychics quickly levitated it out of range. "Hey, get back here, you!"

"Okay," the Psychics said, bringing the club down with a crack on the giant's head.

The giant staggered back, grimacing and clutching his head in pain. "Ow…fat'f not what I meant, dammit…"

"Raaaaarrrgggghhh!" Maxthulhu raaaaarrrgggghhhed as he lunged at the giant, taking the behemoth's moment of weakness to attack. Although his weight was not sufficient enough to knock the giant over (rather alarming, considering they were both humongous beasts) Maxthulhu was still able to cling to the giant's torso, where he immediately began crawling around all over the place, clawing and biting and tearing out pieces of blue flesh. The giant screamed in pain and fear and surprise as the wounds Maxthulhu rent in his skin putrefied and decayed, rotting away as they reacted to the unworldly horror of the abomination's saliva and venom. He frantically grabbed Maxthulhu and tried to rip him off, but the Psychics dropped the club on his head again and again, stunning him and allowing the lagomorphic beast to inflict more damage. Growing frustrated and desperate, the giant waited until Maxthulhu had crawled onto his back and then deliberately fell backwards, crushing the other monster beneath his weight. As Maxthulhu gasped in pain, the giant sat up then dropped back down, slamming Maxthulhu into the ground again and again. Alarmed, the Psychics swung his club at him to try and get him to stop, but the giant managed to catch the club, bashed it into the ground a few times to 'exorcise' it, then swung it over his shoulder and smacked Maxthulhu in the back, cracking some of the monster's dorsal spines and dislodging him.

The giant stood up and turned around, preparing to finish Maxthulhu off, when the Psychics fired Hyper Beams, fireballs, and other powerful spells at the giant's back, failing to inflict any serious damage but drawing the monster's attention. Growling, the giant turned around and swung at them with his club. They scattered, and then started flying wildly all around his body, sporadically firing their attacks. Gritting what few teeth he had left in anger, the giant flung his arms about wildly, trying to swat them out of the sky. One of his swings managed to catch Briney, but the Metang grit his teeth and bore it, digging his claws into the flesh of the giant's arm to keep from being flung away. Concentrating his power, he Exploded, causing the giant to grunt in pain as the blast tore open a (disappointingly small) welt on his arm. The giant's other hand swung down to crush Briney beneath his palm, but Briney flung himself upwards, slamming into the giant's hand, causing it to reflexively curl into a fist. Before the pressure from the giant's fingers could become too much for even him to bear, Briney Exploded again, causing the giant to scream in pain and release him, his fingers burned and smoking from the blast.

"You know, that gives me an idea…" Goldor murmured. "Silvia, go to the right side of his head, I'll take the left!"

"Okay, and what do I do when I get there?" Silvia asked.

"Fly into his ear and Explode!" Goldor said.

"…What?" Silvia asked flatly.

"Fly into his ear and Explode! It couldn't be simpler!" Goldor repeated.

"But…but Goldor, there's going to be earwax in there! _Lots_ of it!" Silvia protested. "And it'll be all dark and cramped and sticky-"

"Look womon, just do as I say!" Goldor snapped. "It's not like you're the only one who'll be tarnishing their finish, after all!"

"What about me, Dad?" Buck asked.

"Uh, well…I suppose you could go into his nostril and blow up there," Goldor said.

Silvia gasped. "Goldor! I thought we taught our son _not_ to pick his nose!"

"Mom, I don't even have a nose…" Buck pointed out.

"We taught him not to pick his nose, we never said anything about anyone else's," Goldor reasoned.

"But…but Goldor, there's going to be boogers in there! _Lots_ of it!" Silvia protested. "And it'll be dark and cramped and sticky-"

"Cool! All right, I'm off!" Buck said.

"W-wait! I'm not finished!" Silvia protested.

"You can finish nagging at him later, for now just go blow up that giant's ear, will you?" Goldor said.

"But…but I…oh fine, but I'm sending you the bill for my cleaning job!" Silvia snapped.

"Whatever, I can afford it," Goldor said flippantly.

They flew off, splitting up and going to the opposite sides of the giant's head while the behemoth was distracted trying to hit Briney, who was flying all over the place and telekinetically flinging rubble from the destroyed town at him. The giant frowned, catching their movements out of the corner of his eye, and having to go cross-eyed to see Buck fly towards his nose, wondering what they were up to. "I wonder what ffey're up to?" he muttered in puzzlement. He grimaced when both his ears started itching, and then his nose too, and he forgot about Briney for a moment as he tried to figure out which orifice he should stick a finger into first to fix the problem…

And then the Goldorringtons Exploded simultaneously, causing blood to fountain all over the place as great craters were torn open on three of the four sides of his head, causing the giant to howl in agony as most of his face was destroyed by the blast, making the bloody ruin of his mouth even _worse_ due to the gaping cavity that had formed just above it. "Heh, nice trick," Briney said proudly. "I think I'm rubbing off on them!"

"I suppose you are at that," Goldor admitted when he and the rest of his family flew over, dripping with blood.

"Should I be flattered or worried about that?" Silvia wondered.

"Does that mean I'll be as cool as you one day, Captain?" Buck asked hopefully.

Briney laughed. "No, most certainly not, but you'll still be pretty cool, and maybe even grow a nice mustache of your own."

"Awesome!" Buck said.

Maxthulhu, who had recovered while the Psychics distracted the giant, leaped onto the pain-stricken monster's back, climbing up and digging his claws into the behemoth's shoulders. His facial tentacles wriggled and suddenly shot out, extending and wriggling into the holes the Goldorringtons had made in the giant's head. The giant screamed as the tentacles started worming their way up his ruined nose and ears, until more of the tentacles slithered into his mouth, cutting off his screams and choking him. "Oh my," said a disgusted Silvia.

"I could have gone without seeing that," Goldor agreed.

"Eh, I've seen worse," Briney said.

Hands scrabbling frantically, the giant managed to grab Maxthulhu by the neck, and, with strength born from desperation, managed to rip the scaled beast off his back, severing the tentacles going into his orifices in the process and causing even more blood to start spilling out in the process. With a roar of fury and agony, he tried to slam Maxthulhu into the ground…and was surprised when the monster's ears, which were also tentacles, wrapped themselves around his wrist, the suckers on their undersides sprouting fangs and digging into the giant's flesh, securing Maxthulhu in place. Howling in pain, the giant shook his arm frantically, but though Maxthulhu wobbled and swung all over the place, his tentacle-ears refused to loosen their grip. If the disturbingly joyous expression on his face was anything to go by, he was actually _enjoying_ this. He enjoyed it even more when, on his next swing forward, he kicked off the giant's chest and pushed himself away from the icy beast, his ear tendrils stretching as he flew through the air and landed some distance away. The giant stumbled and nearly fell forward as the tentacles went taut and started pulling at him. He yanked back; trying not to lose his balance…but the four Psychics shoved him with a psychokinetic push from behind, causing him to trip over and fly towards Maxthulu as the tentacles retracted. Maxthulhu grinned as the giant shot towards him and jumped, lashing out with one hoof and making contact with the giant's face with a kick so hard it almost caved what was left of his face in. As the tentacles released their grip, the giant was flung away by the force of the blow, rolling across the ground and smashing the flattened ruins even flatter beneath his weight.

As the giant moaned and tried to get up, Briney exchanged a look with the others. "I think it's about time to finish this."

"Quite right, old boy!" Goldor said.

Briney glared at him witheringly. "Who are you calling old?"

Goldor sweatdropped and paled. "Er…"

"Let's try that cool tornado combo from before," Buck suggested. "It would've worked better if those guys hadn't blown it up, but I don't think that's going to be a problem, since the smaller green monster got the club."

"Ah, so he does," Goldor said as Maxthulhu whacked the giant in the knees repeatedly with the monster's own club, causing the giant to howl in pain.

"Well then, let's get to it!" Silvia said. The others nodded.

Maxthulhu paused in his beating up the weakened and heavily wounded giant to notice Briney, Goldor, Silvia, and Buck fly into place on all sides of the giant and begin to use Rapid Spin and Gyro Ball. As energy started building up the whirling Psychics, they started spinning around the giant, leaving trails of light and fire behind them. The grotesque monster tilted his head in curiosity, wondering what was going on.

"I'd move out of the way if I were you," the Narrator said. "Of course, if you don't, I won't particularly mind, since it'll probably kill us." George gave him a disgusted look as he finished off another can of beer.

"Hmm, morbid as that sounds, you're probably right," Sam admitted. "Sorry Max, no time to look at the pretty lights, we have to get to safety." He piloted Maxthulhu away from the giant before the energy building up around the spinning Psychics got too strong.

The pain-stricken giant blinked blearily at the rings of light spiraling around him, wondering what was going on. By the time energy and heat started rippling off the rings and began bombarding his weakened body, he realized what was going on, and frantically punched at the growing energy walls surrounding him, trying to break free. The power making up the swirling walls burnt his knuckles badly, and he yelped in pain as he withdrew them. Refusing to let that stop him, knowing what would happen if the Psychics gathered enough energy, he started punching at the walls again and again, and something started to give…

Unfortunately for him, that something was his skull, when Maxthulhu threw the giant's club over the top of the building cyclone, causing it to land on his head and stun him. "Nice shot," George complimented.

"Yes, Max never seems to miss a shot when you're in control," the Narrator commented.

"That's because I actually know how to aim," Sam said.

The giant shook his head in a daze, trying to regain his wits…but it was too late. With a brilliant flash of light, the powers of the four Psychics combined, converged, and exploded in a tremendous towering conflagration, multicolored flames spiraling upwards in a pillar of fire miles high that licked the dark clouds above and melted a great deal of the ice and snow in the area. "Ooooooh," Maxthulhu grunted, impressed.

"Nice pyrotechnics," George complimented.

"Yes, only now I think it's going to give Max ideas," Sam complained.

A dark form appeared in the midst of the great cyclone, and with a horrendous shriek, the frost giant, his form engulfed in flames, smashed through the side, wailing in agony as he blindly ran towards Maxthulhu. He didn't seem to know where he was going or what he was doing, his pain and fear instincts pressing him to run, run, and not to stop running until he had put the fires out or died, whichever came first, not caring what happened to anyone or anything that got in his way.

"He's coming right at us!" George cried in alarm.

"Oh, good," the Narrator said cheerily.

The words 'FINISH HIM!' flashed on the TV screen as the burning giant approached. "All right, it's time for the finishing move!" Sam said as he pressed buttons and waved his controls about in a complex and ridiculous-looking combination.

Maxthulhu tensed up, darkness and eldritch flames swirling around him. With a triumphant growl, he reached behind him and pulled out…his gun. (Yes, of course he still had a gun, he was Max, after all!) Aiming the Luger, which had been supersized along with the rest of him, at the flaming giant swiftly approaching, Maxthulhu pulled the trigger. Darkness and eldritch flames converged on the gun's barrel and discharged, causing a bullet the size of a car to rocket through the air towards the giant. But this was no ordinary bullet, instead of metal it was made of some strange green matter, with lots of purple eyes and fanged mouths and tentacles wriggling behind it. The bullet pierced the heart of the inferno, causing the giant to stiffen and halt in its tracks…

Just before hundreds of barbed tentacles burst from every joint and orifice and several other places all over his body. The giant didn't even get to scream as dozens of tendrils erupted from his mouth. As the tentacles waved furiously about, the giant collapsed to the ground, setting fire to the surrounding debris. He lay there, his once-imposing and indomitable frame no more than a colossal funeral pyre commemorating the defeat of another one of Niflheim's greatest warriors. Granted, most funeral pyres didn't have monstrous tentacles growing from them, but it was a funeral pyre all the same. Maxthulhu grinned, twirled the gun in his hand, and blew off some smoke from the end before roaring triumphantly, reality itself seeming to quake in terror from his cries.

The pillar of flames dissipated, revealing the sizzling and worn out Psychics. "Did…did we get him?" Goldor panted.

"I think he did, actually," Silvia said, pointing to Maxthulhu, who was standing over the giant's burning corpse and laughing malevolently.

"What? How dare he? We had him fair and square!" Goldor protested furiously.

"Yeah, nobody likes a kill-stealer!" Buck agreed.

"Now, now, calm down, it's not that big a deal," Briney said. "The giant's dead, and that's all that matters." He narrowed his eye ominously. "But if they ever do that again, I'm going to be having words with them…"

"Phew!" Sam said, wiping away some sweat. "Well, there's that guy taken care of."

"That was amazing!" said an awestruck George.

"And disgusting," the Narrator drawled.

"But still, incredible! I've never seen anything like it!" George said.

Sam smiled. "Oh, that was nothing. You should have seen the guy we beat before we came to this world. He was even _bigger_, and could make more of himself!"

"Wow! You've gotta tell me about that sometime," said an amazed George.

"We have it on DVR, actually," the Narrator said, pointing to a box underneath the TV. "Though why anyone would bother recording and rewatching something as vulgar and pointlessly violent as that is beyond me."

"Vulgar and pointless violence is what the Freelance Police are all about!" Sam bragged.

The Narrator sighed. "That they are…that they are…"

George frowned, a troubling thought occurring to her. "Hey, Sam? While that finishing move was pretty cool and all…if you could have used that gun all along, why didn't you pull it out sooner?"

There was a long, awkward pause. The Narrator burst into surprised laughter. "That's…a very good question," Sam admitted.

"The answer is quite simple, my dear," the Narrator said as he wiped away a tear. "Because Samuel is an idiot."

"I don't have to take that from you!" an irritated Sam said, pulling out his gun and pointing it at the Narrator.

The Narrator snorted. "Please, like you'd really fire that inside of Max's brain?" Sam responded by pressing the barrel against the Narrator's forehead. They both stared at it for a moment before the Narrator snapped, "Okay, really Sam, cut it out!" Sam smirked and put it away. George shook her slowly, wondering yet again what the Abyss she had gotten herself into.

And with two giants down, that only left one to go, but since the heroes fighting it didn't have any giant monsters to back them up, that meant they needed to improvise. Bruno learned this much to his dismay when the frost giant finally noticed he was climbing up its arm, snatched it up, and held him up before its eyes between its thumb and forefinger. "Foolish little mon," it sneered. "Your death will not be a gentle one!" He squeezed, intending to squish Bruno into red paste.

He did not expect Bruno to fight back, the Machamp pushing against the fingertips trying to crush him with all his might. Even with his phenomenal strength, it required more effort than he liked to admit to keep the two fingers apart, knot of muscles bulging out against his arms and legs and sweat rolling down his gray skin as he fought for his life. With a cry of fury, he managed to shove the forefinger upwards, striking at it with a razor-sharp Karate Chop that drew blood, forcing it to retreat in frost giant stared in astonishment at Bruno, wondering how one tiny mortal could possibly fight him for this long. This turned out to be the wrong thing for him to do, because abruptly Diane and Butler appeared in front of his face and blasted him with Psybeams right in his eyes. Roaring in pain, eyes smoking, he recoiled and flinched backwards, the shaking of his arm flinging Bruno up into the air. The Machamp flew so high he nearly crashed into a flock of ice dragons flying overhead, then began his descent towards the ground very far below. He wasn't particularly worried, though. He'd fallen much further distances and survived. As the frost giant flailed in pain, Bruno managed to grip the underside of one of the monster's fingers as he descended, swinging from there to land on the back of the giant's other wrist. Marginally annoyed that he was back where he had started, he started climbing back up the arm again.

As the frost giant's sight returned, he bellowed in rage and lunged forward, tusked jaws snapping shut around the smug Butler and Diane. This proved to be completely futile, however, when they reappeared before him, looking even smugger. "You really shouldn't have done that, big guy," Diane said cockily as the explosive runes she'd planted in the giant's mouth before Teleporting out detonated, causing him to gasp in pain and cough up some blood. Enraged, the giant tried to grab them, but as usual they Teleported and faded away, reappearing at a safe distance to taunt him while bombarding him with attacks. Snarling in frustration, he feebly swung his club at them, forced to limp in pursuit due to his broken knee and eerily unresponsive foot.

As he did this, he failed to notice Vladimir and Sasha land on his head. "Ugh, apparently they never heard of conditioner in Niflheim," said the disgusted Swalot as his compotent Woobats reconstituted themselves, looking at the filthy unkempt hair and dandruff surrounding them.

"They don't have it back where I come from either, but we manage," Sasha commented. She frowned, equally displeased with the condition of the giant's hair. "Still, we groom ourselves properly, clearly something this creature has not done."

"All the better for us, perhaps he'll just think we're lice or something," Vladimir said.

"What happens if he tries to scratch us, then?" Sasha asked.

"…Ah. That would be unpleasant, wouldn't it?" Vladimir admitted. "Still, I believe we could both survive it, what with my immortality and your impenetrable cloak."

"True, but I'd rather not put that to the test," Sasha said, lying down and bringing her cloak in contact with the giant's scalp. The darkness of her cloak shimmered and rippled outwards, slowly turning the giant's blue skin black as it spread.

Vladimir nervously took a few steps back as the wave of darkness approached him. "And, ah, this trick of yours won't affect me, will it?"

"Since you aren't my enemy, no, it won't," Sasha assured him.

"Right." The Swalot fidgeted and took a few more steps back. "But, ah, just to be safe, I think I'll take off and help Butler and Diane distract the giant. By drawing his attention away, we'll allow you and Bruno to continue doing whatever it is you're doing without worrying about untimely interruptions."

"A good idea, though at the rate I'm going I'll probably finish the giant off before he does," Sasha said. "Even if I get knocked off, if enough of my cloak's enchantment has spread before that happens, it should kill enough of the giant's brain cells to render him completely helpless."

"I wouldn't be so sure, he doesn't seem to use much of his brain in the first place," Vladimir joked. "Anyway, I'd best be off. Good luck to you, Miss Sasha." He dissolved into a swarm of shrieking Woobat and flew off, leaving Sasha to her work.

Meanwhile, Dean and Looker landed on the giant's shoulder just in time to see Vladimir fly off the giant's head, go off into the distance, and circle back so the giant didn't realize he'd just been on his head. "Hey, isn't that Vladimir? What was he doing here?" Looker asked as he tried to stop his knees from quaking from the terror of the flight up or the realization of just how high off the ground they were.

"He and Sasha are trying to use her magic cloak to kill the giant's brain," Dean explained, receiving an explanation from his superior through vampiric telepathy.

"An interesting plan," Looker said, squinting and trying to see spot the telltale darkness indicative of the cloak's magic. Some of the hairs on top of the giant's head had turned a lightless black, and more were changing color the longer he looked. "Hmm, but it's not spreading fast enough. We should try to come up with something of our own just in case her plan doesn't work."

"I'm all antenna," Dean said, the wing-shaped growths on the sides of his head wiggling.

"I don't suppose you could turn this big guy into a vampire, could you?" Looker asked.

Dean shook his head. "Considering his size? No way, it would take forever for the virus to spread to enough of his body to turn him. And besides, I'm not even sure we'd be able to control him, and would you want to see a vampiric frost giant roaming the countryside, thirsting for blood?"

"Not particularly," Looker agreed. "What about that hypnotic trick of yours? Do you think it could work on something his size?"

Dean considered this for a moment. "Hmm…that's a good question, actually. It didn't work on Brodie, but that's because he's a Ditto and his mind's naturally slippery and hard to get a grasp on. This guy's size makes him immune to most forms of magic, especially subtler varieties like my compelling voice, buuuuut…maybe if we got close enough and I shouted loud enough for him to hear, it could work?"

"Which means we would need to go for his ear," Looker said, pointing at the small (in comparison to the rest of the giant) orifice in the gigantic monster's head several dozen meters away from them.

"Took the words right out of my mouth," Dean agreed.

"All right, then let's get over there," Looker said, starting for the ear. "And in case you can't control his mind, we'll just do as much damage as we can to his inner ear, which should throw off his balance and maybe even allow us a shot at his brain."

"Cool," Dean said, running alongside Looker at speeds most Wooper could never dream of obtaining. "But, uh, what happens if he doesn't like us irritating his ear and tries to pick us out? Those pinkies of his are bigger than our car on the Enchanted Express."

"…We'll think of something," Looker said, which did not fill Dean with confidence.

Meanwhile, Bruno had managed to make it a good way up the giant's arm, thanks to the distraction caused by Diane, Butler, and Vladimir, who kept flying and Teleporting all over the place and bombarding the giant with attacks which, though unable to do much damage, still annoyed the monster and kept him from noticing the parasites on his body trying to kill him. Noticing a large and rather swollen blister in his path, the Machamp detoured, clambering around it using the hairs protruding from the sides of the giant's arm as hand and footholds. As he went past the blister, though, the giant made a particularly violent swing of his club—using the same arm Bruno was climbing up—which caused the Machamp to lose his grip with one hand and accidentally brush against the blister as he tightened his hold on the hairs in his other hands. Unfortunately, the blister, which had already been aggravated somewhat by a few of the magical attacks that had been flung its way during the battle so far, finally had enough of the abuse it was taking and burst, covering Bruno in blood and pus.

As Bruno gagged in disgust and spat out some of the disgusting fluid, the giant glanced down at his arm, startled by the sudden sharp pain he'd experienced, and growled when he saw Bruno. "_There_ you are!" he bellowed, forgetting about the flying nuisances for a moment as he dug his fingers into his arm, raking them back and forth to try and scratch Bruno off. Bruno quickly scrambled back and forth along the limb with the sort of speed and dexterity an Ambipom would have been envious of, dodging the fingers with incredible athleticism. He paused between two of the fingers as they dragged their way back across the arm, then swung in front of one of them, grabbed the giant's nail in his surprisingly strong toes, and pulled with all his might. The giant howled in pain as Bruno managed to rip out his entire fingernail, causing blood to spout everywhere from the gaping wound it left. "You little bastard! You are a pest and deserve to be crushed like one!" Enraged, he slapped his hand down on his arm, trying to crush Bruno. The Machamp had moved with superPokémon agility to get out of the way, however, so when the hand struck Bruno was safely wedged between two of the fingers. As the giant drew his hand back to see if he'd squashed Bruno, the Machamp leaped onto the side of one of the fingers and pulled himself up onto the top, finding himself eye-to-eye with the frost giant when the monster, astonished Bruno was still alive, raised his hand up to the level of his face. "You are clearly a skilled warrior…"

"Yeah, I get that a lot," Bruno grunted, preparing to leap at the giant's face. Before he could, however, the giant flicked its hand, flinging the startled Machamp in the air. The giant grinned and flipped its hand over so that Bruno landed on his palm, then dropped his club so that he could clap his hands together and crush the Machamp into a bloody stain…or at least, that's what he expected to happen. Instead, Bruno managed to catch the giant's other palm in his other four hands and, using every ounce of strength in his body, struggled to push the palm back. With a roar, he used Bulk Up, his muscles bulging to even more ridiculously exaggerated proportions as he slowly managed to widen the space between the two hands. The giant gritted his teeth angrily, not wanting any of that, and pushed even _harder_ in retaliation, swiftly depleting the extra reserves of power Bruno had called upon. Gasping, Bruno's legs quivered, and he was pushed down to one knee, then both knees, and then slowly his back started bending dangerously low…

And then Vladimir transformed into a demonic Houndoom and dove from the sky into one of the giant's eyes, ripping and tearing with flaming claw and fang and horn, while Butler and Diane tackled the other eye, striking it with a super-strong Shadow Punch and a magically-powered drill kick. Howling in agony, the giant stopped trying to squash Bruno and clapped a hand to his ruined eyes in pain, giving the Machamp relief from the excruciating pressure. Unfortunately, the giant's hand had flipped upside-down in the process, and now Bruno was dangling very precariously from its underside. Gritting his teeth and shrugging off the pain from every bone in his body, Bruno started swinging towards the giant's wrist to begin his climb anew _again_, using the lines and bumps on the monster's palm as grips to hang from.

Dean and Looker had managed to climb inside the giant's ear by that point, so were naturally quite surprised when the beast bellowed in pain from losing his eyes. "The Abyss was that?" Dean whispered.

"I don't know," Looker whispered back. "But I'm glad we aren't the ones who did that, because he'd be really pissed at us if we were."

"Yeah, totally. Why are we whispering?" Dean asked.

"Because we're inside of his ear, and if we talk too loudly, he'll know we're here," Looker replied.

"Oh, right," Dean said.

They crawled through the giant's auditory canal, which was rather dark and smelly and full of hairs and lots and lots of slimy mounds of earwax. Dean didn't mind the dark since he was a vampire, and Looker didn't mind the slime because he was a Croagunk, but the combination of both was not something either Pokémon particularly enjoyed. After a few minutes of travel, they found their way blocked by a membrane that Looker identified as the outer surface of the eardrum. "All right, give it a shot," Looker said.

Dean concentrated, darkness washing over him and causing him to transform into a Loudred. Looker blinked in surprise. "What the…how did you do that?"

"Oh, I can transform into any Pokémon whose blood I've tasted," Dean explained.

"…Does that mean you can turn into me?" asked a disturbed Looker.

"Uh-huh." Darkness washed over Dean again, and suddenly Looker found himself looking at an exact duplicate of himself. "Well? What do you think?"

"…That's…incredible," murmured the amazed Looker. "And kind of disturbing."

"It is? Oh, sorry. Hold on." Dean rippled and changed back into a Loudred. "Better?"

"Yes. I take it that means you've drunken the blood of a Loudred?" Looker asked.

Dean nodded. "Uh-huh. They fed one to us back in Dr. Tarantulas's lab. We sucked all the life out of him. Don't worry, he was evil," he said quickly when Looker stared at him in horror. "Totally had it coming."

"…Ah. Right," Looker said dubiously.

"Anyway, you might want to cover your ears," Dean said, opening his mouth wide. Looker did so, and Dean shouted, "HEY, BIG UGLY GIANT GUY! I, THE GREAT AND POWERFUL VAMPIRE DEAN, AM YOUR MASTER NOW! YOU WILL OBEY MY EVERY COMMAND! I ORDER YOU TO STOP TRYING TO KILL MY FRIENDS THIS INSTANT!"

"Gah! Who's shouting my ear?" the giant cried, wincing in pain and pausing in his blind and somewhat useless attempts to swat at Diane, Butler, and Vladimir.

"I JUST TOLD YOU, THE GREAT AND POWERFUL VAMPIRE DEAN! WEREN'T YOU LISTENING THE FIRST TIME?" Dean bellowed. "IF NOT, THEN LISTEN UP NOW: I ORDER YOU TO STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING RIGHT NOW!"

"Like Muspelheim I will! I only have one master, and that's Queen Shivhel!" the giant roared angrily. "Stupid little bugs, nattering in my ear…I'll kill you!" He extended his pinky finger and raised his hand toward the irritated ear.

"Oh, crap," Dean murmured, changing back to normal.

"You know, considering how often it's failed to work, I'm starting to wonder if that so-called 'compelling voice' of yours is a myth after all," Looker said, looking annoyed.

"I order you to punch yourself in the face," Dean said, his voice deepening a few octaves.

"Yes, Master." Looker punched himself in the face. He blinked. "Why did I just do that?"

"Because I told you to," Dean said. "Come on, let's get out of here!"

"I hate having to just cut and run, but I guess we don't have a choice," Looker said.

"You're right, you don't," Diane said as she appeared in a flash of light. "Fortunately, that's what I'm here for. Come on, let's get out of here!"

"Sure thing," Dean said, eager to leave the ear canal.

"Wait," Looker said. "Before we go, we might as well do some damage. That way, we won't have come all this way for nothing."

"Hmm, good idea," Diane admitted. She smiled sinisterly, a half-dozen ominously glowing runes materializing around her. The runes spun around her before scattering around the canal, plastering themselves against the walls. She then formed a rather large ball of swirling magical energy between her hands. "Okay, on three, hit the eardrum with your best shots!"

"Three!" Dean shouted, spewing a stream of darkness-infused water at the same time Looker expelled a Gunk Shot and Diane threw the energy ball. The attacks struck the eardrum and exploded, rupturing it and causing a tidal wave of blood to flood out into the canal. Diane quickly grabbed the other two and Teleported away just before the blood could reach them, telepathically triggering the explosive runes she had planted in the process. The giant's inner ear was wracked with explosions, tearing it open and causing blood to gush all over the place and spout out of the side of his head, splattering against the pinky that had been about to insert itself inside.

The giant howled in pain, shaking his head as agony streaked through him…and frowned when he suddenly realized that, although his eyes and ears hurt, and the rest of his face wasn't feeling too good, something felt…wrong with the top of his head. Namely, that he couldn't feel anything at all. It was eerily numb. Struck by a sudden suspicion, he reached up and started scratching his hair. Startled and alarmed to find that he couldn't feel anything, he started scratching more vigorously, trying to flush out Sasha, whom he suddenly realized had to be up there.

_Well, here we go again,_ Darkrai said wearily.

_Damnation! And I was sure I'd almost finished killing a large enough part of his brain to incapacitate him, too!_ Sasha thought angrily as she got up and started running away from the probing fingers, causing the darkness she'd spread to dissipate.

_Better luck next time. Assuming there _is_ a next time,_ Darkrai said.

Butler abruptly appeared in front of Sasha. "I'm here to rescue you, Miss Sasha. Come on, let's go!"

"I'm not sure I need to be rescued, but thank you very much," Sasha said, leaping into the Dusclops's arms. The Beckon Pokémon quickly flew up and away from the giant's head before he could find them.

"Gah! Where _are_ you?" the giant snarled furiously as he vigorously scratched his head, trying to find Sasha, and completely unaware that she had already gone. "Stupid disgusting mortals, crawling all over me, blinding me, doing…_something_ to me…I'll kill you all for this!"

"You have to see us to catch us!" Dean taunted, having reappeared with Diane and Looker nearby. The giant snarled and swung…completely missing him because with only one ear left, it was harder to tell where sounds were coming from. "Haha, missed me!"

"Dean, don't taunt the giant monster," Vladimir scolded, flapping over in his Woobat swarm form.

"Why not? It's fun!" Dean protested.

"Yes, it's all fun and games until someone gets hurt, and we've hurt him, which means he'll be spoiling to hurt us back," Vladimir pointed out.

"Yeah, like that's going to-" Dean started until the giant swung again, smacking him out of the air completely by accident. "Waaaaahhhh!"

"I warned you!" Vladimir shouted after him.

"Well, we've been doing a pretty good job at crippling him so far, but at the rate we're going I don't think we'll be able to _kill_ him," Diane complained as Butler floated over to her with Sasha in his arms.

"Perhaps Bruno will accomplish something?" Sasha suggested, noticing that Bruno had managed to reach the giant's shoulder. "He's been trying to climb this high for the last several minutes, perhaps he has an idea?"

_Okay, I've climbed this high up, so what do I do now?_ Bruno wondered as he stood up and stretched his limbs to get the kinks out of them. He stared across the shoulder to the ear directly opposite him, set into the side of the giant's head. _Well, I guess I could go in there and clobber his brain or something…_ Having no better ideas, he nimbly started running towards the ear.

"He's going for the ear? That's what we did!" Dean complained somewhat dizzily, still wobbly from getting hit by the giant's hand. "I was hoping for something more original."

"Maybe he'll succeed where we failed?" Looker, who was being held by a levitating Diane, suggested.

This, unfortunately, did not turn out to be the case. Bruno made it across the shoulder okay, and had started to climb up the rim of the ear, using ridges and hairs for handholds. He reached up towards another hair that was poking over the lip of the ear canal, intending to use it to pull himself up…and instead wound up pulling the whole hair out. The giant, his nerves raw from everything that had been inflicted on him so far, detected this at once, and, rather than assume it was nothing like he foolishly had all the other times he'd felt something like that, immediately suspected something was wrong. His hand shot up, grabbing Bruno and snatching him off the side of his ear. "YOU!" he shouted, not actually knowing which of the mortals he'd grabbed due to the loss of his eyesight but figuring it was probably one of the ones who'd hurt him really badly, and figuring that it sounded intimidating enough.

Vladimir gasped. "Oh no, he has Bruno!"

"Oh, don't worry, he got out okay the last few times the giant caught him, didn't he?" Dean asked.

Vladimir scowled. "Yes, because _we_ distracted the giant! Which means we need to do it again, before it's too-" Abruptly, the giant opened his mouth, tilted back his head, and tossed Bruno down his throat. "Late…"

They all gasped in horror. "No! Bruno!" Looker cried.

_Huh, I guess talking isn't always a free action after all, _Darkrai said.

_Master, is he-_ Sasha started.

_If he were dead, you'd know it by now,_ Darkrai assured her.

Sasha nodded, realizing this was true. "He's still alive," she informed the others.

"Alive? _How?_" Diane asked incredulously.

"Because he's a total badass, of course!" Dean said. "He probably caught hold of the side of the esophagus, is climbing back up, and will punch his way out of the giant's mouth any minute now!" Nothing happened. "Yep, any minute now." Nothing happened. "I _said,_ ANY MINUTE NOW!" Still nothing happened.

"I don't think he's going to punch his way out of there," Butler confessed.

"Hang on, I'll go try and find him," Diane said. "Here, hold this," she said, throwing Looker at Vladimir before Teleporting away.

"Ack! Stop tickling me!" Looker cried as the vampiric Woobats swarmed all over him, brushing him constantly with their wings.

"Sorry, can't help it," Vladimir replied.

Diane reappeared a moment later, dripping in saliva. "Okay, that could have gone better," she said in disgust, evaporating the gunk off of her.

"Did you find him?" Butler asked.

Diane shook her head. "I couldn't get in very far. If he swallowed me, I'd have a hard time getting out without possibly rematerializing inside an organ or bone and killing myself. He's not in the mouth or the upper part of the throat, I'll tell you that much."

"Then perhaps I can get further," Butler said. "If you'll just take Miss Kutabe, I'll go and see if I can find him."

"All right," Diane said, levitating Sasha out of Butler's arms.

"Wait, she's a Dark-type. How are you able to use telekinesis on her?" Looker asked.

"I'm not, I'm using magic," she replied.

"Oh, okay then," Looker said.

Butler faded away, presumably to go look for Bruno. Moments after he left, Sasha's badge, which Ash and Pikachu had insisted every member of the team take into battle just in case there was an emergency and they needed to get in touch with each other, started making noises. "Hey, Kutabe, this is Mother Leonora, one holy mama callin' another! Do you read me?" Leo's voice spoke out of the transmitter.

"No Mother Leonora, I do not read you," Sasha said as the others blinked in surprise.

"…Huh? What do you mean?" asked the confused Leo. "You can hear me, can't you?"

"You are a Pokémon, not a book. There is nothing for me to read," Sasha said, deciding not to mention that she was still unable to read, despite Oak's best efforts.

Everyone facepalmed, and presumably Leo did the same. "That's not what I…look, never mind. You guys need to get down here ASAP, Zippo and I have come up with something that can kill that giant once and for all!"

"That's wonderful news, but why are you calling me a sap? That is very rude," Sasha said reproachfully, a frown on her face.

Everyone facepalmed again. "That's not…look, just get down here, okay? We'll have Bob send up a Thunderbolt to show you where we are," Leo said.

"Oh, Bob is there?" Vladimir asked. "Is he being a good Manectric? Has he refrained from sucking out your blood?"

"He tried to bite us, actually, but then we tossed him some bloodbags and he started playing with them instead," Leo said.

"…Why were you carrying bloobags around?" asked a confused Dean.

"For just such an occasion!" Leo declared.

"Ah. Of course," Dean said flatly.

"We will be right down. See you in a moment," Sasha said.

"Roger!" Leo said, ending the transmission. Seconds later, a lightning bolt shot up from the ground below.

"I guess that's where they are," Diane said. "Hang on, I'll Teleport us down."

"Wait," Looker interrupted. "Before we go…Kutabe, why do you and Mother Leonora have a two-way communicator while the rest of us don't?"

"Um," Sasha said, drawing a blank. _Master?_

_I got nothing,_ Darkrai said.

_Wonderful._ "Er…don't go hating on my religion!" Sasha shouted rather desperately. Everyone sweatdropped.

Deciding to just leave that question unanswered, they Teleported down to where the lightning bolt had originated from, where they found Leo and Zippo holding a complicated-looking web of cables and wires and other assorted doodads wrapped around what looked like the Thermonuke 8500. They also found Bob, who was eagerly drinking from a bloodbag, with several empty packs lying scattered on the snow around him. "Ugh, Bob, you are such a Tepig," said the disgusted Vladimir.

"Yeah, you could have left some for us," Dean agreed.

"There you guys are! What took you so long?" Leo asked.

"Never mind that, what was that about you two having something that can kill the frost giant?" Looker asked.

"Get a load of this, dude!" Zippo said, shaking his half of the thing he and Leo were holding. "When we saw those mondo giants appear, we knew there was no way we could possibly help you rad guys take them down on our own, so we invented something that we're pretty sure will kill them! Well, _one_ of them, anyway."

"And we picked this one, since it's the closest and it looked like you guys were having the most trouble with it since you don't have any giant monsters of your own to back you up," Leo said.

"And…what _is_ it?" Sasha asked.

"A bomb!" Leo and Zippo chorused joyfully.

"A bomb?" everyone else cried, stepping back in alarm. Bob, still drinking blood, paid no attention to them.

"Relax, it's harmless," Leo said.

"Until we activate the remote detonator, that is," Zippo said.

"Which we won't do until the bomb's in place, naturally," Leo said. "Wouldn't want to blow us up too, right?"

"And where _is_ the right place?" Vladimir asked.

"Inside the giant, of course!" Zippo said.

"All you gotta do is throw that thing down his throat," Leo said.

"Then we push the button…" said Zippo.

"And BOOM! No more giant!" they yelled in unison.

The others exchanged looks. "Well, that's certainly one way to solve our problem," Looker admitted.

"And it saves us the trouble of having to wear ourselves down wearing _him_ down," Vladimir agreed.

"Just one problem," Dean said. "Um, isn't Bruno still inside of the giant? We can't blow it up with him inside, can we?"

"Oh, don't worry, Butler will be back with him any second now," Diane said.

"I couldn't find him," Butler said remorsefully as he appeared next to her.

"Or not," Diane said.

"What? What do you mean you didn't find him?" Vladimir demanded.

"I went as far as I could, but if I went any deeper into the giant's innards, I would have been unable to bring Bruno back with me," Butler said apologetically. "There's just too much body mass to phase back through. I barely managed to make it back myself…there's no way I could have done it with two of us. Wherever he is in there, he's beyond my reach."

"He's not…he's not _dead,_ is he?" Leo asked in alarm.

"Yeah, he's way too cool to die!" Zippo agreed. He frowned worriedly. "…Or maybe he's too cool to _live?_"

"Don't even say that, mon, it's something I'm constantly worried Captain—er, some guy I know will fall into," Leo said anxiously.

"Bruno is not dead," Sasha told them. "If he were, I would know it."

"How?" Zippo asked.

"I'm the High Priestess of Darkrai," she pointed out.

"Oh, right," Zippo said. "Hmm, maybe I should have joined the Cult of Darkrai, rather than becoming a Cleric of Manaphy. So far I haven't gotten much out of it…other than some rad surfing skills, that is! Yeah, that makes it totally worth it." The others sweatdropped, except for Leo, who now found himself wishing he'd joined Manaphy's church as well. No, wait, then he wouldn't have been able to fight Manaphy with the others when they invaded Samiya…could he have?

As he pondered this, Looker said, "Well, if Bruno's alive, that's somewhat inconvenient for us, since we can't put that bomb into the giant so long as we know he's still in there."

"And since we can't get him out of there, that means he's going to _stay_ in there for the foreseeable future," Diane said in frustration.

"Well, there _is_ one way out…" Dean said slowly.

It took the others a few moments to realize what he meant, and then they wished they hadn't. "Ah," Sasha said after a while. "I…suppose that is an option…"

"Which also means that…maybe we could…" Diane glanced at Butler, whose eye widened in horror as he vehemently shook his head.

"No, absolutely not," Butler insisted. "I am _not_ going to fly up that giant's rear end. I've done a number of…distasteful things for the sake of the Mistress in my centuries of servitude, but that is where I draw the line."

"You wouldn't obey your mistress if she gave you a direct command?" Vladimir asked, offended, knowing that he would do such an uncomfortable task instantly if Gardevoir ordered him to. He wouldn't really have had a choice.

Butler hesitated. "Well…if she _told_ me to…but she's too busy fighting Bellum right now to give me such an order, so…"

"Hmm, true…well, in that case…Dean, go fly up the giant's rear and fetch Bruno, will you?" Vladimir said.

"What? Why do I have to do it?" the Wooper cried in horror.

"Because I outrank you, which means you have no choice but to do everything I say," Vladimir said.

"But how'm I supposed to get him out of there? I can't teleport or phase through walls, let alone intestines!" Dean protested.

"…Hmm. True," Vladimir admitted.

"Maybe we could build a submarine that we could then trick the giant into eating so that we could find Bruno, plant the bomb, and escape all in one trip?" Leo suggested.

"That's ridiculous," Diane said with a snort. "How exactly do you propose to build a submarine in _this_ place?"

"Oh, it wouldn't be that hard," Leo said.

"Yeah, I have all the parts necessary to make a submarine capable of surviving inside the innards of a giant monster," Zippo said.

"Me too," Leo said.

Everyone stared at them. Finally, an incredulous Looker asked, "Why do both of you have all the parts necessary to make a submarine capable of surviving inside the innards of a giant monster?"

"Because you never know when you're going to get swallowed by one, duh!" Leo said.

"Yeah, everyone should carry around a kit or two to make one," Zippo said.

"I've got three," Leo said smugly. Everyone facefaulted. Sasha moaned and shook her head, knowing she should be used to this sort of thing by now.

"So, uh…does that mean you're going to start making one?" Dean asked a little eagerly.

"I guess, but…it'd take a few hours," Leo admitted.

"Hours we don't have," Zippo lamented.

Diane threw up her hands in exasperation. "Wonderful! Then how are we supposed to get Bruno out? It's not like he's going to just _punch_ his way out of that thing's guts!"

As if on cue, the giant moaned and clutched his stomach in pain. "Ohhh…ooooohhhhhh…what avails me now? Queen Shivhel, have I not suffered enough already this day?"

Clearly the answer was no, because suddenly Bruno exploded out of the giant's side, thick ropy intestinal tubing slithering out behind him through the hole he'd made, causing the giant to howl in agony and grab his guts in his hands, struggling to shove them back into the gaping wound in his belly and keep the blood and other things from vacating his body. Bruno arced through the air and landed next to the astonished group hard enough to crater the ground, slowly rising and turning to stare at them with a terrifying gleam of victory in his eyes, his blood and gore-covered frame an incredibly imposing and nightmare-inducing sight to everyone except Leo and Zippo, who took pictures, and the vampires, who were hungry, and Looker, who was a hardened cop and saw worse stuff on the job all the time, and Sasha, who was a priestess of death so indifferent to that sort of thing, and…well, Diane and Butler were more grossed-out than really scared, so perhaps I misspoke. It would've induced nightmares in most other people, though!

"Well," Looker commented dryly after a moment. "That's certainly a dynamic entrance."

"Hey," Bruno said as he climbed out of the crater, leaving bloody footprints in his wake. "Sorry I took so long, it was a little harder to get out of there when I thought. Not _that_ much harder, though. What'd I miss?"

"Mother Leonora and Zippo just arrived with a bomb they believe has the power to destroy the giant," Butler informed him as Diane used her Psychic powers to evaporate the…stuff off of Bruno.

"What? Oh mon, why didn't you guys get here sooner with that?" Bruno complained. "I could have saved you the trouble and taken it with me when the giant swallowed me!"

"Well, we _would_ have been here sooner, if _someone_ hadn't insisted on stopping to watch Maxthulhu fight the frost giant," Leo said pointedly.

"_Me?_ You're the one who was begging me to take your picture with him fighting in the background!" Zippo shouted.

"Whatever," Diane snapped, telekinetically snatching the explosive away from the bickering nerds. "Bruno's out, which means we can use this thing. I just need to throw it down his throat?"

"Yep," Leo said. "And once it's in…"

"We'll do the rest!" Zippo promised.

"Right. Back in a second." Diane and the bomb vanished in a flash of light. Abruptly, the giant paused in his screaming to cough and retch and let go of his intestines with one hand to pound on his chest, wheezing and heaving and finally managing to swallow whatever was obstructing his breathing. Diane reappeared. "Okay, it's down the hatch."

"Great!" Leo said, whipping out a remote. "Now, I just need to push the button…"

"Hey, why do you get to push the button? I want to push it!" Zippo protested.

"The core of the bomb is made from my Thermonuke, therefore I'm the one who gets to blow it up," Leo said.

"We used parts from my Thermonuke too, and I helped build it just as much as you did!" Zippo said. "Plus, you got to abuse that thing's power earlier, so now it's my turn!"

"Never!" Leo said, holding the remote out of Zippo's reach. "You can't handle that kind of power! It can drive a mon mad, it could!"

"Exactly! Which is why you're going to give it to me now!" Zippo said, trying to grab the remote from Leo's hands.

"No way! You can't have it!" Leo cried, keeping his grip on the remote and refusing to let go of it no matter how hard Zippo pulled.

"Give…it…here!" Zippo grunted, tugging on the remote.

"Not…on…my…life!" Leo snarled through gritted teeth.

Everyone sweatdropped as they watched the two play tug-of-war with the remote. "Oh, for the love of-" Bruno, losing his patience, swiped the remote from the teenagers' hands, ignoring their protests and whining. "Give me that! How do you work this thing?"

"You just push the big white button," Leo said, crestfallen that he wasn't going to be the one to push it.

"What, not a big red button?" Looker asked.

"Nah, too cliché," Zippo said.

"Whatever." Bruno pushed the button.

The giant exploded in a tremendous blast of light and heat, sending body parts flying all over the place. Gallons of blood and thousands of pieces of flesh big and small tumbled through the air, and a horrified Diane quickly raised a barrier just before any of the gore could hit them, the remains splattering against her shield and covering the ground and ruins around them in a sticky red residue with lots of rather unpleasant-looking lumps sticking up all over the place. "Ugh," Looker said.

"Well, this is going to be a pain to clean up," said a disgusted Diane.

"You couldn't have made the bomb explode less messily?" a revolted Butler asked Leo and Zippo, who were trying not to vomit.

"If we'd made the bomb any stronger, it would have vaporized everything in the valley," Leo said, looking a bit green.

"Oh," Butler said, wondering if that might have been a preferable alternative.

Bob barked happily and ran outside the barrier, tongue extended as he ran about, collecting blood drops and bits of skin and organs falling out of the sky in his mouth. "Look Vlad, it's raining blood!" Dean said eagerly.

"Mmm, yes, what a delightful weather formation," Vladimir said, licking his lips. "And I was starting to feel a bit peckish, too!" They exited the magical shield to join Bob in feasting, much to the revulsion of the others.

"That's kind of gross," Looker commented.

"Well, they're vampires, I suppose this sort of thing looks appetizing to them," Butler said. "And completely disgusting to everyone else."

"Not to her, it's not," Zippo said, pointing to Sasha, who'd trotted out of their shelter and was starting to munch on the chunks of meat littered all over the place. Interestingly, though a lot of the falling detritus landed on her cloak, none of it left a stain. In fact, it seemed almost as if that eerie blackness was eating as well…

"Oh, Miss Kutabe, not you too!" Diane cried.

Sasha glanced up, her face covered in blood. "What? I'm hungry. And it's dead, so there's nothing wrong with me eating it, is there?"

"I'm fairly certain High Priestesses of Darkrai are not required to feast on carrion like a Mandibuzz," Butler said.

"Don't go hating on my religion," she said bluntly as she started digging into another bloody chunk of meat. Leo burst into laughter.

Eventually, the red rain petered off and became white again as the snow started falling freely once more. The other heroes approached; Maxthulhu carrying George and Sam in one hand while Briney and the Goldorringtons floated around his head, Team Getem and Todd flying beside them while Pikachu and Cherry picked their way through the organic debris while the freshly undead Rebecca floated next to them. "Zippo, everyone, you're okay!" Rose chirped happily as she swooped down to envelop the Charmeleon in a feathery hug.

"Well yeah, didja really think a big kahuna like that guy would wipe out yours truly?" Zippo bragged. "Just like I knew you guys would be fine, too! You took out your giants all right, didn't you?"

"Yeah, but we didn't make as big a mess as you did!" Rose replied.

Zippo smirked. "Aw, you know me babe, making messes is what I do best!" She giggled and pecked him affectionately.

"He has a point," Sparky said grudgingly.

Lu nodded. "And it is quite a big mess, at that."

"I'm not cleaning it up this time…" Salty grumbled.

"It might be a bit too much for our readers," Todd said, reluctantly snapping pictures of the carnage. "This level of graphic destruction and bloodshed may be a wee bit too mature for the kiddies."

"Hmmph, my children have much stronger stomachs," Happy sniffed. "They would look upon this as a gift from Arceus, and gorge to their heart's content."

"…That's…lovely," Todd said faintly.

"Well, it's a relief to see you're all alive," Rebecca commented. "Unlike me."

"Yeah, though it got a little close a few times," Looker said.

"Nah, not really," Bruno said.

Looker stared at him. "Bruno, that giant _ate_ you."

"I was never in any real danger. I could have punched my way out anytime I wanted, I was just waiting until I was at the right point to do the most damage to the giant's body," Bruno said. Looker shook his head incredulously.

"Wow, that's so cool!" Buck gushed.

"I could have done the same thing," Briney said defensively.

"Really?" Goldor asked.

"Yes, of course!" Briney snapped.

Leo chuckled. "Heh, is that envy I detect, Cap'n?"

"Is that something _other_ than female organs I detect, _Mother_ Leonora?" Briney sneered in reply, causing Leo to Clamperl up.

"I'm amazed that after everything that's happened today, we're all still alive…especially after going up against those frost giants! It's a wonder we made it out okay!" Silvia said.

"Yep, it's just as I predicted. I told you nobody was going to die today," Cherry agreed.

"Well, technically you said that nobody was _fated_ to die, but yes, it's a relief to know that the only people to get killed were the enemy," Sasha agreed.

"…What are you talking about? _I_ died!" Rebecca snapped.

"Yes, but you're still here, aren't you?" Cherry said. Rebecca groaned in frustration.

"Being undead isn't so bad," Butler said. "I've been a Ghost all my existence, and I couldn't dream of being anything different."

"Indeed, being undead is wonderful! It's a pity you're all Ghosts rather than mighty vampires like ourselves, though," Vladimir boasted. "_True_ masters of the night and rulers of darkness and all that."

"Yes, such powerful dark lords, who shrivel and die if they get hit by a sunbeam or touch silver," Diane snarked.

"…We're working on that," Vladimir said, embarrassed.

"You know, I think Max might be jealous," Sam commented to Leo and Zippo as he and George hopped out of Maxthulhu's paw, the horrendous monster looking at all the blood and gore with an annoyed look on his face.

"Jealous? Why?" George asked.

"Because he wasn't the one to kill someone this violently, of course," Sam said.

"…And the way he killed that giant wasn't violent enough?" George asked in disbelief.

"Of course not. You can never have enough violence," Sam said. Maxthulhu nodded in agreement, and George groaned, starting to understand why the Narrator seemed so depressed all the time.

"We made _Max_ jealous? Whoa, this is so cool!" Leo said.

"Yeah, though we'll probably have to tone it down the next time. Wouldn't want him to eat us, after all," Zippo said. Maxthulhu nodded in agreement.

"Considering everything that's happened so far and all the close calls we've had, I'm relieved to see you're all okay," Pikachu said to Leo.

"Awww, you were worried about me?" Leo asked.

"No, I was worried about Sasha, actually," Pikachu said, causing Leo to almost facefault before remembering what the ground was covered in and wisely deciding not to.

"I am fine, thank you for asking," the puzzled Sasha said, wondering why Pikachu had called her by her true name.

"Dude, come on, you were worried about her, but not me?" Leo asked, hurt.

Pikachu smiled. "I wasn't that worried about you because I knew that if anyone could figure a way out of a mess like this, it would be you, Leo."

Leo gawked at him in disbelief. "You…you really mean that? D'awwww…I knew you cared!" He glomped Pikachu in elation.

Pikachu's eye twitched. "Let go or I'll zap you."

"My habit's insulated, it won't affect me," Leo said, still hugging Pikachu.

Pikachu sighed. "Of course it is. Of course it is."

Bruno frowned. "Wait…Sasha? Who's Sasha?"

Sasha coughed. "Er, you must be mistaken, my lord. I'm _Kutabe_, remember?"

"Sasha, give it up, there's no need for us to play this game anymore," Pikachu said.

"Yes, he's already told us everything," Sparky said.

"Same with this lot, though they had to pry it out of me," Briney grunted.

Sasha sighed. "Oh, very well. I guess there's not much point in continuing this farce any longer, is there?"

Bruno frowned. "Farce? What are you talking about?"

"The truth is, my name isn't Kutabe, just as Pikachu's isn't Ronin, and Briney's isn't Professor Brindleworth," Sasha admitted.

"And I'm not a girl," Leo confessed.

Zippo gasped in horror. "What? You're _not?_"

"Sorry, dude," Leo apologized as he took off his wimple. "To paraphrase Internet celebrity and comic reviewer Linkari, 'I am a mon!'" He punched the air.

"Holy crap! You mean I've been sorta crushing on a _guy_ all this time?" Zippo cried.

"You've been _what?_" Rose shrieked.

"Er, forget that last part, babe," Zippo said quickly. "Wait, then does that mean you aren't actually a member of the Sisterhood of the Bountiful Gracidea? Dude, do you know what they _do_ to people who impersonate members of their organization?"

"No, what do they do to people who impersonate members of their organization?" Pikachu asked.

"Bury them up to their neck in mulch for a month and treat them like flowers," Leo said. "Fortunately, that's not an issue since I'm a genuine bona fide Mother of the Sisterhood."

"Oh, okay then," Zippo said.

Pikachu stared at him. "…Aren't you going to ask how that's possible, since he's a boy?"

"Nah, he probably faked his gender on the application, it's what I would've done!" Zippo said, causing Pikachu to (nearly) facefault.

"And I'm not blind, I'm just wearing contacts. I'm a genuine high priestess of Darkrai, though," Sasha said.

_Yeah, otherwise you wouldn't be able to wear that garment. It would eat you alive. Literally,_ Darkrai said.

…_Is there anything _else_ about what I'm wearing you've neglected to tell me?_ she asked.

_Mmm…no, I don't think…no wait, there was…oh, never mind, it's not important,_ Darkrai said, causing her to grind her teeth in exasperation.

"Wait…you mean none of you four are who you said you were?" cried an astonished Bruno. "You were in disguise the whole time?"

"Yeah, pretty much," Pikachu said.

Looker nodded in vindication. "Just as I suspected."

"You knew?" Bruno asked in surprise.

"Well, I _am_ a detective," Looker pointed out.

"We knew too," Butler said.

"As did we," Dean said.

"And me. Kind of a given, since I can see the future and all," Cherry said.

"What? Was I the only one who nobody bothered to tell this little piece of information?" Bruno demanded.

"Actually, we didn't know until Pikachu told us," Happy said.

"And it was a real shock, let me tell you!" Todd said.

"Cherry didn't tell me, which is no surprise, really," Rebecca said grumpily.

"And we had no idea until we stumbled upon the good Captain beating the snot out of some ice monsters," Goldor said.

"Which was so cool!" Buck spoke up, causing Briney to hide a smile.

"And this is the first time I've heard any of this," said a stunned George.

"What, we never mentioned it to you?" Sam asked.

"No!" George cried.

"Huh. Must have slipped my mind," Sam said. George facepalmed, and Maxthulhu snickered, while in his head the Narrator sighed and downed another can of beer.

"We apologize for the deception, but we were trying to protect everyone on the train, as well as ourselves," Pikachu explained to an incredulous Bruno. "You see, Leo, Sasha, Briney, and myself, along with Ash, Tiny, Dawn, and Lily—whom you knew as Hiori, Rico, Mineko, and Sister Lilandra—are all part of a group called Team Aurabolt that's trying to defeat the Nihilators by collecting a series of magical artifacts they require to conquer the world. We found out that Fantina has one of those artifacts, but since we feared that Bellum, whom we've tangled with in the past, would probably target her and the vampires, we decided to sneak onto the train in disguise so as not to alert the Nihilators to our presence and make them realize Fantina possessed what they were looking for, which would cause them to bring down even _more_ of their wrath on us."

"…I see…that makes sense…" Bruno murmured grudgingly. "But…then why didn't you tell me? I'm part of the security detail to make sure everyone on the train is safe! How'm I supposed to protect you all if I don't know what's going on?"

"Too many people knew already, the more who were aware of it, the greater the risk that Bellum and the Nihilators would find out," Pikachu said.

"But, seeing as we've just told everyone, I guess that's no longer an issue?" Sasha asked.

"Eh, the secret was bound to come out sooner or later," Leo said with a shrug.

Cherry nodded. "It was indeed, and Bellum is already aware of the truth as well. Once she reports this to her superiors, they will try their hardest to kill us tomorrow-"

"Wait, you mean she's going to get away?" Silvia cried in alarm. "After everything she's done, and everything _we've_ done, she's going to escape?"

"I'm afraid so," Cherry said.

"Oh no you don't, not this time! The future isn't set in stone, no matter how much you act like it is!" Rebecca snarled. "We aren't going to let Bellum get away, not this time!"

"Yeah, after everything she's done to Dusty Ditch, and all the efforts we've made to stop her, we can't let her evade justice!" Sparky agreed.

Pikachu nodded. "I agree. We can't let Bellum get away. She's blighted this world for far too long. Today, we end her reign of terror once and for all!"

"Sounds good to me," Briney said. "I'm in."

"Yes, as are we!" Goldor said.

"Yeah, let's see how _she_ likes being put in a cage!" Dean said wickedly.

"She has caused our Mistress distress for far too long. It is long past time for her to face judgment for her crimes," Diane said.

"And if there's one thing we Freelance Police know how to do, it's how to bring the perp to justice, even if it's severely disproportionate to the actual crimes they've committed!" Sam said cheerfully, causing George to give him a weird look.

"That's gonna be a _sweet_ photo op…" Todd said eagerly.

Cherry sighed and shook her head. "I'm telling you, she's going to get away, no matter how hard you try. You'll find out for yourself soon enough." She frowned. "And besides, before we deal with her…we have something else to worry about."

They gave her incredulous looks. "Oh come on, what _now?_" Zippo groaned.

"Haven't we done enough already?" Pikachu complained.

"We just defeated the biggest and baddest monsters Niflheim could throw at us. What else is there?" Bruno asked.

"How about this realm's ruler?" Cherry asked.

There was a long, worried silence. "Ah," Rose said. "That would do it."

"Oh shit, Shivhel's coming? I completely forgot about her!" Leo gasped.

"Me too…which is weird, since Shivhel's not the sort of womon a guy would forget, especially with that enormous…hair," Zippo said.

"But what does she want with us?" Vladimir demanded.

"We have defeated her strongest warriors and brought fire into her realm. This is unforgivable," Cherry said. "And for that, she will force us to pay the ultimate price."

"Oh no! Not my bank account!" Goldor gasped in horror. Everyone facefaulted.

"I think she meant our lives, dear," Silvia said.

"Oh, that's a relief, I was worried it was something serious," Goldor said, causing everyone to facefault again.

"Shivhel? Great. This is gonna suck…" Diane groaned.

"Oh come on, after everything else we've defeated since we got here, surely we can take down some skanky ice queen…right?" George asked uncertainly, the worried looks on most of the others' faces starting to make her worried, too.

"I would not be so sure…" Butler murmured.

Abruptly, a pale light shone on them. Surprised, they looked up to see that some of the snow clouds were parting, revealing the top of the mountain that was blocking the tracks out of Dusty Ditch. Their jaws dropped in awe when they saw the source of the light: a magnificent crystal palace perched on its peak, a beautiful aurora twisting around its jagged spires. But there was something…_wrong_ about the aurora, the light feeling malevolent and spiteful. A chill ran down their spines, and a deep feeling of dread embedded itself in their hearts, a sense of fear and unease growing in even the biggest and strongest of them. Sasha nearly passed out, startled by how loudly her danger-sense was screaming. _M-Master, what do I do?_ She thought.

_Don't worry, Shivhel can't kill you,_ Darkrai said. _I think._

…_Oh, that's _so_ reassuring!_ She snapped.

Rebecca cried out in pain and clutched her head. "The ice spirits…they're _howling!_ I don't think I've ever felt them this _angry_ before!"

"The worst is yet to come," Cherry said quietly, a resigned look on her face.

A pair of massive doors on the front of the palace shuddered and swung apart, snowdrifts and icicles falling from it as the portal opened, the clash as they struck the palace walls ringing across the valley. Eerie blue light shone out from the doorway, and with it came a wave of frost and fog that crept down the mountain and rapidly covered all of Dusty Ditch, causing everyone to shiver as abruptly icicles formed on their bodies, the already subzero temperatures dropping another five hundred degrees or so, becoming so cold that even through their heat enchantments they were starting to feel the chill work its way into their bones. The wind began to howl, and snow and hail started falling at the same level of intensity it had before Bow had cast her weather spell earlier. Eerily, in spite of this they could still see the palace with perfect clarity. "I-i-i-it'ssss a g-g-g-good th-th-thing I-I-I h-h-have a-a-a sp-sp-spare Th-thermonuke 8500," Leo stammered, his teeth chattering as he quickly pulled out the portable heater and switched it up to maximum, causing everyone to sigh in relief as the area around them warmed up considerably.

"I thought you could only get one of those by preordering one and being one of their 1000 MVCs," said a confused Pikachu.

"Yeah, I did," Leo said.

"…Then why do you have a _second_ one?" Pikachu asked.

"Oh, I have a second account with the company under my mom's name, so I can buy lots of extra stuff once I've hit the credit limit with my regular account," Leo said.

Zippo smacked his forehead. "That's brilliant! Why didn't _I_ think of that?"

"Wait, you buy stuff under your mother's name?" Pikachu asked incredulously.

"Well yeah, doesn't everyone?" Leo asked.

"They most certainly do not!" Silvia said emphatically.

"Um, yeah, exactly…" Buck said, shifting about nervously.

"And what does your mother think about this?" Sasha asked sharply.

"Considering she thinks she won all the free appliances and gadgets that keep getting delivered in a mail-in contest, she hasn't complained," Leo said. "And besides, if she ever finds out and gets angry, I have a third account to fall back on in my dad's name."

"LEO!" Pikachu shouted.

"What? He's been a skull trapped in a dragon's castle for the last few years, what was he gonna do about it?" Leo asked defensively.

"You are a freaking _genius!_" Zippo cried. "Oh mon, I should be taking notes or something, every idea that comes out of your mouth is pure gold! My kindasorta crush now feels completely justified, you gotta teach me everything you know, dude!"

"I'd be happy too, young padawan," Leo said with a smug grin.

Team Getem exchanged horrified looks. "Pikachu," Sparky said seriously. "If you don't kill him, we will."

"Oh, don't worry…" Pikachu said through gritted teeth. "I'll kill him, all right."

Suddenly, the Thermonuke sputtered and died. Everyone looked at it in alarm as the cold started setting back in. Leo frantically shook it and banged on it to try and get it working again, to no effect. "Uh-oh. That's not good…" the Squirtle muttered.

"Neither is that!" Vladimir shouted, pointing at the figure that had appeared in the doorway, silhouetted by the cold light emanating from behind it.

"Who dares to bring heat into my domain, Niflheim, land of eternal winter?" a harsh, imperious voice boomed, a gust of icy wind blowing down the valley as it spoke and causing everyone to get even colder.

"…Oh, come on!" Leo shouted when he saw that almost everyone was pointing at him. "What about the guy whose freaking _tail_ is on fire?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about, dude," Zippo murmured around his tail, which he had stuffed inside his mouth to conceal the flame.

"You disgusting warm-bloods do not belong in this realm. This place is my demesnes now, and all who trespass here will find nothing but cold…the cold stillness of death," the voice said ominously.

_Hey, death is _my_ realm, bitch! I can make it warm if I want to!_ Darkrai retorted, causing Sasha to sweatdrop.

"You're the one who doesn't belong here," Bruno shouted up at the figure on the mountaintop, earning him worried glances from many of the others. "This is not your world, Shivhel. Return to your realm, and leave ours alone."

"Foolish mortal. I have been summoned here, which _makes_ this my realm…" the figure said haughtily, every word causing them to clench their teeth in pain as a fresh wave of cold washed over them. "It may be small now, but soon it shall grow, and grow, until I have brought the cleansing snows of Niflheim to every corner of this world, an endless winter which shall never be touched by the hateful thaw of springtime!"

"The seasons come and go, whether you like it or not," Rebecca said. "Your plane may be locked, but ours is not. No matter how hard you try, the sun will always rise again, and with it, the light that pierces your fog and cold."

"Yes, a pity about that…" Vladimir murmured.

"Look on the bright side, at least the Sun keeps the whole world from looking like this," Dean pointed out. "I don't think I'd want to spend my eternity in a dump like this."

"Hmm, point," Vladimir admitted.

"Perhaps it will…but I do not believe that you will be here to see it," Shivhel sneered as she stepped forward, the light dimming behind her and allowing them to make out her true features. "Gaze upon the face of your destroyer…I, Shivhel, Her Divine Majesty, Queen of Niflheim, Chatelaine of Winter, and Eternal Empress of the Ice! Behold, the glory of an elemental _god!_"

They recoiled in alarm when they saw what Shivhel looked like, the extreme distance between them doing nothing to diminish the shock of Shivhel's appearance. One half of her was unimaginably beautiful, a fifteen-foot tall Jynx with pale blue skin and incredibly long dark blue hair tied into thick braids and plaits hanging down to the ground, ice crystals and diamonds woven into its length. Unlike most Jynx, she wore little to no clothing, some strategically-placed shawls, ribbons, and bands of exquisitely sewn and embroidered cloth the only things concealing her nipples and nether regions, and even then they were so thin and scanty they barely covered them up. She wore a great many bangles, bracelets, anklets, necklaces, earrings, and rings, magnificent glittering diamonds set into each and every one. One of her eye was a pure ice blue with long, elegant eyelashes set over a perfectly shaped pair of deep blue lips. She was one of the most remarkable female specimens any of them had ever seen…or at least, _half_ of her was. The other half was so different in comparison the only thing that would have been more disturbing is if it was male, and even then it might have been an improvement over the unadulterated horror that was the other side of her body, for while her right half had the figure of a voluptuous, healthy young womon, the left side was quite literally a rotting corpse. Shriveled and desiccated skin that had been mummified due to the subzero temperatures clung very tightly to her body, so tightly in fact that here and there holes were torn in it revealing her bones. Worms and other insects that somehow did not seem to mind the cold crawled all over her body, feasting on the dead skin that seemed to paradoxically regenerate the moment they'd ripped off a chunk of it. Her left breast, to counter the fullness of her right, was a sagging sack of flesh covered in wriggling maggots. While her right hand had exquisitely manicured blue nails and gracefully long fingers, her left was nothing more than a grotesque claw, with knobby knuckles and broken, yellowed nails. Her hair, which on her right half was thick and blue and luxurious, was just as long but far from beautiful on her left half, mangy and filthy and hanging in limp, dead clumps of greasy strands. Almost all the flesh had fallen from the left side of her face, leaving only a skull with its overlarge and poorly treated fangs frozen in a rictus grin, a gaping black void that the wind flew through, creating an eerie whistling noise, in place of an eye. Although there was no orb in that empty socket, they could feel it _staring_ at them, piercing their hearts to read their every thought and secret…and dismissing all of them as not worth living.

"Don't look, Buck!" Silvia cried, covering his eyes.

"Don't worry, I don't want to," a revolted Buck replied.

"What the…I thought she was supposed to be beautiful!" said a startled Goldor.

"Well, _half_ of her is, in any event…" Briney murmured, narrowing an eye.

"Gah! What the Abyss? She doesn't look anything like that in the Last Legend games!" protested a shocked Zippo.

"They probably prettied her up for them because otherwise she wouldn't be a good source for fanservice…" Leo said. "Well, I guess it's appealing to _some_ people, but not the ones you'd really want to be playing video games…"

"Yeah," Zippo agreed. "Huh. For some reason, now I'm thinking she'd make a good girlfriend for Dosface from Gligarman."

"You too? Wow, we really are a lot alike, aren't we?" Leo marveled.

_Psh, and she says she's prettier than Cresselia! Totally delusional!_ Darkrai said.

Sasha rolled her eyes. _Would you like me to tell her that, Master?_

_Nah, I'll tell her myself the next time I see her…after you kick her ass! Well, assuming you do, anyway,_ Darkrai said.

_Your confidence is very reassuring,_ Sasha said sarcastically.

"Eh, I don't see what the big deal is," Sam said. "I've seen worse."

George stared at him incredulously. "Worse? Like _what?_"

"The First Lady first thing in the morning, before she's had a cup of coffee, showered, and put on her makeup," Sam said. Maxthulhu growled and briefly contemplated stepping on Sam before admitting he had a point.

"Hmmph…so she does not bother to cloak her evil, but displays her sin for all to see? Good. That will make it all the easier to slay her," Sparky said.

"Assuming she _can_ be slain…" Pikachu murmured.

"She cannot be," Diane said soberly. "She calls herself a goddess, and in a way she is, but in another way she's something more…basic. The Pokémorphic personification of a force of nature, the living incarnation of the kind of endless winter or Ice Age that drives entire species and even worlds to extinction."

"Once, she was a more benign entity, who brought forth winters that were cold but rarely lethal and were much more hospitable to life…but the atrocities of the Crisis Wars and the countless planets whose climates were disrupted so badly by the fighting that they turned into dead balls of ice corrupted and twisted her, turning a once beautiful and gentle creature into the abomination you see before you," Butler said ominously.

"Then why is one half of her still a vision of loveliness?" Looker asked.

"Either a punishment for her wickedness, to taunt her with the memory of what she once was…or perhaps a sign that some in the Heavens still believe she can be redeemed," Rose said. "Nobody is sure, or so I've heard."

"Hmmph. If it's a punishment, they should have gone all the way," Happy commented.

"I…_guess_ I should take a picture," Todd said reluctantly, doing just that. "Maybe they'll crop out the ugly part of her in editing…"

"What…what is this chill that permeates my bones?" wondered an alarmed Lu, her knees trembling. "An urge to bow…to grovel and weep and pay obeisance to her? How can this be? I am an _assassino_! I bow to no one!"

"It's the Ice in you, reacting to her presence…" Rebecca said warily. "She automatically bends all ice to her will, which is why she is absolute ruler of Niflheim, and has such a negative effect on the ice spirits here. Do not worry, though. If you focus on the things that matter most to you and your purpose in being here, you should be able to resist her will and avoid being her slave."

"_Nessun problema…_I already know where my loyalty lies," Lu said, smiling at Sparky.

"Ugh…we may be basically undead, and therefore walking corpses, but I'm glad we don't look like that!" said a disgusted Vladimir.

"Well, at least part of her's kinda nice to look at," Dean said.

"Not as nice as the Mistress!" Vladimir said firmly, to which Dean had to agree.

"Is that supposed to impress us?" Bruno shouted. "All I see is a womon who neglected to put all her makeup on before coming out here!"

"Such pitiful bravado. Allow me to show you what such insolence brings." Shivhel pointed a long, dainty finger at Bruno…and frowned when nothing happened. "What's this? You are immune to magic?"

"That's right," the Machamp said with a grin. "So whatever ice juju you were about to try on me won't work!"

"Hmmph. No matter," Shivhel said, unruffled. "There are many ways to go about freezing a mon to death."

"Then let's keep her from using any of them! Attack!" Sparky shouted, pointing his sword at Shivhel and firing a flaming Thunderbolt at her. Taking his cue, everyone else quickly followed suit with their own attacks; Pikachu shooting a Thunderbolt of his own, Happy spawning a swarm of flaming flesh-eating bugs, Salty hurling a huge spear of water, Rose launching a tremendous mystical whirlwind, Lu spitting a Shadow Ball, Todd…taking pictures, Rebecca calling upon the spirits of fire to attack, Briney and Goldor and Silvia firing Hyper Beams, Buck hurling a massive fireball, Sam shooting his gun, George shooting her crossbow, Maxthulhu shooting his BIG gun, Looker spitting a Gunk Shot, Sasha's eyes glowing as she used Future Sight, the vampires firing powerful blasts of dark energy, Diane and Butler using Hyper Beams, Bruno ripping an entire block—buildings and all!—out of the ground and throwing it at Shivhel, Leo spitting a Bubblebeam, and Zippo belching out a Flamethrower, while Cherry closed her eyes and shook her head sadly, already knowing what the outcome would be.

The attacks shot through the air towards the top of the mountain, aimed right towards Shivhel, who smiled demurely and extended her corpse-like left hand. The variegated projectiles slammed into it…

And froze. Literally. Not only did they stop in midair, but each and every one of them was turned to ice. (Yes, even the flames!) As the heroes gawked in disbelief, Sasha's Future Sight materialized and slammed into Shivhel's back, only for that to freeze solid as well. "Ha! Was that all you have?" she taunted, unimpressed.

"Wh-what? How…how did she…" an incredulous Goldor stammered.

"But…but they were on _fire! HOW DID SHE TURN FLAMES INTO ICE?"_ Pikachu screamed in disbelief.

"Because her body temperature is absolute zero, apparently," Leo said, scanning Shivhel with his sunglasses. "If not lower, as impossible as that may sound."

"…How can something be _below_ absolute zero?" Pikachu demanded.

"What, you've never heard of absolute negative numbers?" Zippo asked. Pikachu's eye twitched, as did Sparky's.

"I…don't think this is going to end well…" Sasha said, her joints locking in place from the pain her danger-sense was coursing through her veins.

_No, it's not_, Darkrai agreed morosely.

"Well, I'm out of ideas," Sam said. "How about you, big buddy?" Maxthulhu shrugged. "Yeah, that's what I figured."

"G-go up there and punch her, Captain!" Buck said nervously. "Show her what for!"

"Um…sure thing, lad," Briney said uncertainly, finding himself uncharacteristically unnerved. Would his fist drop below freezing point and shatter on contact with the mad ice goddess, too?

"Cherry," Rebecca said abruptly. "You knew this would happen too, didn't you?"

"Yes," Cherry said sadly.

"…Is there anything we can do?" Pikachu asked.

Cherry closed her eyes. "No."

Shivhel laughed and snapped her fingers, causing the frozen attacks to shatter. "After the quick work you made of my thralls, I had expected better from you…how pathetic. Allow me, then, to show you how they felt as you defeated them…completely helpless and unable to change their fate as death callously snuffed out their worthless lives, as it callously snuffs out _your_ lives, too!"

_There's nothing callous about me!_ Darkrai retorted. _I'm nothing if not compassionate. After all, what can the harvest hope for if not for the care of the reaper man?_

…_Is that a reference to something?_ Asked the confused Sasha. _I'm sorry, I don't get it._

Darkrai sighed. _Sasha, you really need to learn how to read, if only to sample some of the best literature of this or any other world._

"All right, everyone hang on, I'll teleport us out of here-" Diane said quickly as Shivhel started gathering power to her.

"It won't do any good," Cherry said. "There's nowhere we can run to to escape this attack, not anywhere you can transport _all _of us too, anyway."

"…Then what are we supposed to do? _Die?_" Diane snapped.

"We won't die," Cherry said. "It'll be close, but we still have one hope left. One last ace to rely upon. One last chance to bet our lives on, in the darkest hour."

"What are you _talking_ about?" asked an exasperated Rebecca.

"Oh!" Zippo gasped, suddenly getting it. "I know! She's talking about-"

He never got to finish his sentence, because Shivhel unleashed her attack, a wave of pure cold blasting outwards from her to engulf all of Dusty Ditch, and quite a lot of the surrounding area, too. There was a flurry of snow and ice and white light, and then…

Nothing. Everything was still. Everything was silent. Not a single creature moved or breathed in the ruined town. They were unable to, since every square inch of the valley had been frozen solid, burying the heroes beneath several thousand tons of solid ice, their bodies encased in a glacial mass so thick and cold it did not look as if any power on Earth could ever crack or melt or thaw it.

Shivhel threw back her head and laughed, the anguished looks on the faces of her new trophies but the first of many that would fill her heart of black ice with joy as she dragged every last warm-blooded creature in this land into a winter that would never end.

…

Several minutes earlier…

While the other heroes in Dusty Ditch battled the frost giants, Lady Bow found herself tackling a colossus of her own, and while it wasn't anywhere near the size of the frost giants, it was no less deadly than the denizens of Niflheim. This was made especially clear when the transformed Rotom's chest opened up, revealing a cannon that powered up with an ominous whine and fired a devastatingly powerful Flash Cannon that vaporized a quarter of the buildings in their enclosed arena, blasting apart several wind elementals in the process. (Don't worry, they got better.) "_S-sacre bleu!_" Bow cried, shaken by the destructive power of the weapon, and how very close it had come to hitting her. "'ow are you even doing zis? I zought Rotoms only 'ad _five_ Formes!"

"Bzzzzzbzbzbzzbzbzbz!" Marianne buzzed as she turned towards Bow, eyes crackling with energy as evil-looking glyphs flashed across the visor covering them.

"Ah, good point, most Rotoms aren't powerful zunder mages," Bow admitted.

Marianne's eyes turned purple and fired twin Hexes at Bow. The blue and purple energy beams were too massive for Bow to evade, so the Drifloon quickly uttered a counterspell, hoping it would protect her. It did, but just barely, the runic shield of solidified air she conjured buckling and cracking under the power of the evil spell, causing Bow to flinch from magical feedback as the Hex's energy started seeping through her barrier. The wind elementals, seeing she was in danger, managed to reconstitute themselves and attacked Marianne, pelting her with razor-edged blades of solid air. Unfortunately, due to the Steel sub-type of the Rotom's current Forme, her plasma body had hardened into a nigh-impenetrable metal thickness, causing the blades to ricochet harmlessly off her skin. Trying another tack, the spirits banded together and spun around Marianne, swiftly generating a tornado to try and knock the robotic ghost off its feet. Unimpressed, Marianne extended her arms to the side and started spinning in the opposite direction, her midsection twirling at high speeds while her head and legs remained fixed in place. Her antenna crackled with electricity and fired lightning bolts at her whirling arms, charging them up and creating an electrical cyclone that burst apart the twister formed by the spirits, the counter-rotation rending them to pieces.

Bow clenched her teeth angrily, the sibilant wails of the elementals ringing through her spherical head. _Aucun… pas encore ! Jamais encore ! Je ne lui permettrai jamais de nuire à aucun de mes chers amis toujours encore !_ (No...not again! Never again! I will never allow her to harm any of my dear friends ever again! (What, you thought her internal monologue would be in English or something?)) Narrowing her eyes in determination, she dropped her barrier. The wicked Hex beams surged forward, ready to obliterate her…only to find themselves drawn into her mouth as she used Stockpile, gathering energy from all around her, including the energy of the evil spell! As Marianne buzzed in astonishment, Bow started absorbing more and more of the Hex, drinking it up and storing it within herself, causing her spherical body to get bigger and bigger as the mystical energy filled her up. In a matter of moments, she was at least a fourth as big as the incredulous Marianne, who cut off her attack in fear of making her even bigger. She needn't have bothered, because Bow had already been swiftly approaching critical mass anyway, and this saved her the trouble of having to stop the Hex on her own.

Now, as anyone familiar with the move Stockpile knows, once the technique has been used, a Pokémon can do two things with the power they have charged up: they can use Spit Up to release all that power at once towards their enemy…or they can Swallow it, using that power to make themselves stronger. Which do you think that Bow chose?

_Je dois devenir… assez fort plus fort de sorte qu'aucun de mes amis ne souffre jamais encore ! _(I have to become stronger...strong enough so that none of my friends will ever suffer again!) She grinned, the smile looking goofy on her overly-inflated purple form. _Et des mercis à Marianne, maintenant je peux devenir celui fort ! Trop le mauvais j'ai dû m'inciter temporairement d'une manière affreuse obèse pour faire ainsi… l'espoir d'I vraiment personne regarde, particulièrement maman…_ (And thanks to Marianne, now I can become that strong! Too bad I had to make myself temporarily hideously obese to do so...I really hope nobody is looking, especially Mama...)

And with that last thought, Bow used Swallow.

Her body instantly shrank down on itself, but it was more of a condensation than a deflation, all the power she had stored within herself being compressed and fused to make it, and her, even greater. Her body glowed a brighter and brighter purple the smaller she became, and then it became a brilliant white…the white light of evolution. Her body stopped its contraction when it became about four feet in diameter, over four times her initial size. Her arms spread and flattened out to be rudder-like, with yellow points at the tips rather than heart shapes, a second pair of arms growing from her back. Her lower portion turned red and looked more torn, while her spherical body was divided into two hemispheres, one light purple and the other dark. Vertical lines ran up the sides, to make her look more like a hot-air balloon, while markings resembling clouds and curlicues of wind painted themselves across her circumference. Her eyes spread apart from the yellow X on her face and turned a vivid shade of red. The cloud on top of her head grew thicker and whiter, made up of lots of elegant curls and wisps. The red bows on the side of her head became more ornate and elegant with magical sigils embroidered on them in gold, while her bells became equally ornate and turned from silver to gold. She flexed all four of her appendages, a fan appearing in each of them and unfolding in a flourish that generated a powerful burst of wind and displayed the magnificent moving images painted on them; one a Dragonair, one a Torterra, one a Purugly, and one a Blaziken. She flapped them all downwards in a dramatic sweep that caused a tornado to briefly swirl to life around her, tearing apart the surrounding buildings and generating gale-force winds that buffeted Marianne but failed to move the giant. "Ahhhh…now _zat's_ more like it," Bow said, looking over her new form in clear approval. "_Tres magnifique, _I am even more beautiful zan before! And ever so much stronger too, zanks to you, Marianne!"

"Bzzzzz…" Marianne snarled angrily, static crackling around her.

"Oh, don't look so put out, nobody ever said _I_ couldn't change forms too!" Bow said with a smirk, fluttering a fan over her face while winking at the robot. "Of course, yours isn't anywhere _near_ as refined or lovely as mine, so I suppose it's only to be expected for you to feel a little jealous…"

Infuriated that that smug pompous windbag dared to insinuate that she was envious of her for anything (certainly not for her looks, or popularity, or wealth, or respect, or a mother who actually loved her), Marianne opened her pincer claws, balls of electrical energy forming in them and launching from their tips as she fired Electro Balls at the Drifblim. The energy balls wildly zigzagged through the air, moving in a completely unpredictable pattern as they surged towards Bow. Unfortunately for Marianne, Bow had always been good at reading wind currents, and was even better now that she had evolved, and was able to use her climatological senses to tell which way the Balls were going to move next, allowing her to bring one of her fans up in a smack that deflected the volatile spheres whenever one approached her. One by one, the spurned orbs tumbled to the ground, exploding and tearing up more of the abandoned buildings. "Mmm, sorry, but zat's not going to cut it," Bow taunted.

Marianne retaliated with an even stronger offensive as weapons compartments flipped open all over her body and started charging up. Hexes blasted out of her eyes. More Electro Balls launched from jer claws. A Charge Beam fired from the strobe lights on her head. Astonish radiated from her electronic mouthparts. Confuse Rays, Thunderbolts, Discharges, Shadow Balls, and curses burst from the hatches that had opened all over her form. The beams and spells and electric blasts sizzled through the air towards Bow, who smirked and made no move to defend herself. The blasts collided with her and exploded, completely destroying…

The Substitute she had just created. "_Desole,_ you missed me," Bow said from Marianne's side, casting a Hex. The robot lashed out with a claw, crushing her between its pincers.

"Mmm, nope, missed me again," Bow said from Marianne's other side just before firing a Shadow Ball. Marianne's head swiveled and obliterated her with an Astonish.

"My, my, you really need to work on your aim," Bow taunted from the ground before striking at the mecha with Ominous Wind. Marianne raised a foot and stomped down as hard as she could, crushing the Drifblim and generating an electric shockwave that blasted outwards, tearing the ground apart and shattering all the buildings in the arena.

"Zis really isn't your day, is it?" Bow asked sympathetically from right next to Marianne's head before hitting her with Will-O-Wisp. The robot's head turned 180 degrees and hit her with a point-blank double Hex beam.

"Are you even _trying?_" Bow said mockingly from the other side of the enclosure. Enraged, Marianne opened her chest and started charging up her Flash Cannon. Bow narrowed her eyes, her joking mood gone, and opened her fans up again with a crack that created another burst of wind. "Elementals of ze air, to me!" There was a tremendous gust of wind as the wind elementals reappeared and swirled around her, merging together to create a tornado that towered into the heavens. As Marianne continued powering up her Flash Cannon, feeding more and more energy into it to make it stronger than ever, Bow's eyes glowed, using her aeromantic abilities to bend the wind to her will, causing the tornado to collapse and reshape around her, taking on the form of a massive dragon made completely out of wind, with the Drifblim sorceress placed in its mouth. The dragon opened its mouth and started funneling the elementals making up its body into its jaws as Bow began spinning, drawing the spirits to her and adding their power to hers, the wind swirling around her taking on a violet hue in the process.

With an electric shriek that was equal parts agony and ecstasy, Marianne fired her Flash Cannon, the recoil shoving her several meters back as an energy beam at least twice as big as she was erupted from her chest. At the same moment, Bow used Ominous Wind, channeling all her power and the power of the wind elementals into a purple cyclone that spiraled out from her spinning body towards Marianne, making it look like the wind dragon she was inside was utilizing a breath attack. The white and purple beams clashed into each other with a titanic impact that shook the arena and shattered the surrounding ruins…again. Shockwaves blasted outwards from the point where the two beams collided, further damaging the landscape as the massive Steel-type laser struggled against the much smaller Ghost-type whirlwind. Finally, the Flash Cannon seemed to triumph, engulfing the Ominous Wind and surging forwards towards the wind dragon, annihilating it in a brilliant flash of light and a tremendous explosion. Marianne cackled insanely…

And gasped as she felt something pierce her chest and rip out the other side. Startled, the Flash Cannon ebbing, she looked down in astonishment to see that the Ominous Wind had not been subsumed like she had thought. Rather, instead of trying to surpass the Flash Cannon, it had gone _through_ it, drilling through the much larger attack to deal a critical blow to the Rotom. As the wind dissipated, allowing Marianne to stare at the gaping hole going right through her midsection, her body started crackling and distorting, beginning to lose its stability. As Marianne desperately struggled to maintain her plasma-form's cohesion, a small whirlwind spun to life before her and coalesced to form Bow. "Whoo! Zat was somezing!" the somewhat winded Drifblim said, fanning herself. "I wasn't even sure I could pull zat off, but clearly I 'ad nozing to worry about…"

"Bzzzzzz?" Marianne buzzed incredulously.

"Hmm? You're wondering 'ow I was able to survive your attack unscazed?" Bow burst into laughter. "Ze same way you can evade attacks, by transforming into your respective element! Zanks to my evolution, my power over wind 'as grown to ze point where I can turn _myself_ into wind, and drift on ze air currents! Now I 'ave even more in common wiz my elemental friends…and to zink, zat I 'ave you to zank for it, because ozzerwise I would not 'ave gained such power so soon! Funny 'ow zese zings work, isn't it?"

"Bzbzzzbzbzbzzzz!" Marianne snarled furiously, trying to muster the power to strike back, to crush the loathsome Drifblim, only to find that it was all she could do to keep her Meta Forme intact in its current state. If she tried to attack, she'd lose her control over it.

Bow was perfectly aware of this, which was why she smiled smugly and, with deliberate slowness, cast a Hex that flew towards Marianne at an agonizing pace. This was done specifically to mock her, because were she not in such dire straits, she would have easily been able to deflect or evade it. Instead, all she could do was grind her teeth and brace herself as the Hex struck her body and exploded, causing her to lose her grip on her gigantic form and disintegrate in a spectacular blast of electricity, the energy she'd drained from her summoned lightning elementals streaking away from her and returning back to the elemental plane of electricity from whence it came. All that was left when the light faded and the air no longer crackled with lightning was an exhausted and much-reduced overlarge Rotom, forced back to her original size and shape, and not looking at all happy about it. Bow smiled cruelly. "It's not so much fun picking on someone when zey can fight back, is it? If my mozzer 'ad been allowed to retaliate to your mozzer's bullying in such a manner, I 'ighly doubt she would ever 'ave become such an awful person…and maybe you would not be, eizzer. We might even 'ave been friends. But we are not friends, and we never shall be."

"Bzzzzzz!" Marianne growled as she tried to regain her strength.

"Did you know, I actually felt _sorry_ for you once?" Bow continued, surprising the Rotom. "Yes, I 'ad been told you took after your mozzer in most zings, but I couldn't 'elp but zink it wasn't completely your fault. After all, growing up wiz _zat_ womon, being raised by someone filled wiz such evil and 'atred and completely incapable of love, 'ow could anyone _not_ come to be evil wiz such an upbringing and role model? I'm certain I would not 'ave become ze person I am now if I 'ad not been raised by such an upstanding person as my mozzer. Which is why, even after you ruined my birzday party and killed my best friend, a tiny part of me still pitied you, believing it was Bellum's fault as much as yours zat you were so wicked.

"But zen I met Lily, and saw 'ow she managed to turn out, 'ow she managed to find friends and freedom and a mon who loves 'er despite centuries of being tormented by you and your mozzer. Bozh of you grew up under ze same roof. Bozh of you presumably 'ad ze same upbringing. So why is it zat Lily was able to find ze strengzh to break free and choose anozzer pazh, while you 'ave been molded into a more fitting and obedient daughter for Bellum? Did she lavish you wiz better treatment and attention zan your sister? Show compassion for you zat she's never demonstrated for anyone else? Was your spirit weaker, allowing any traces of good wizin you to be crushed long ago while zey were still sustained somehow wizin your sister? Or were you simply rotten to ze core from day one, meaning any sympazzy I might 'ave once 'eld for you was wasted emotion better spent on Lily?" Bow shrugged. "I don't know, and I don't really care. I swore to make you pay for what you did, to make sure you never 'urt anyone else never again, to ensure zat you will never grow to become anozzer Bellum. Any misplaced feelings, or zoughts about what might 'ave been, are irrelevant now. All zat matters…is zat you die."

"BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!" Marianne screamed furiously, intending for Bow to die instead. How dare she talk to her like that! How dare she question her relationship with her mother! How dare she feel…_sorry_ for her! She would electrocute that sanctimonious windbag to final death, and rend her ectoplasm to shreds! She would prove she was every bit as bad as Bellum, that she always had been, and what's more, that she could be _worse_ if she wanted to be! _Then_ everyone would see that she was Bellum's true daughter and heir, and that they'd wasted all their time worrying about that pathetic failure Lily when they should have been more concerned with what _Marianne_ could do!

Enraged, the Rotom shifted into Heat Forme and unleashed a devastating Overheat. Bow snapped one of her fans open and swung it through the air, generating a gust of wind that dissipated the flames before they could reach her. Marianne shifted to Wash Forme, and fired her Hydro Pump. Bow cracked open another fan and generated a whirlwind around her, causing the water to flow into it, spiral up and around her, and spill out of the top, raining down around them, the extremely low temperatures causing it to freeze in seconds. It got even colder when Marianne assumed her Frost Forme and generated a Blizzard. Bow cracked open a third fan, and with her three limbs swung the blades before her repeatedly, creating gusts that deflected the ice pellets and sent them flying back into Marianne's face, irritating her and causing her to change into Mow Forme. Her lawnmower engine revving, Marianne opened her fanged maw and spewed a Leaf Storm at Bow. The Drifblim cracked open her fourth fan, and again her tentacles sliced rapidly through the air in front of her, but rather than create wind she hardened the air around the fan's edges to create incredibly sharp vacuum blades that sliced through the leaves, chopping them into green confetti that drifted about them towards the ground in short order. On the brink of madness, Marianne decided to try fighting fire with fire—or rather, air with air—by taking on Fan Forme, activating her fan blades and launching hundreds of Air Slashes at Bow. Spreading her fans out on all sides of her, Bow began spinning at high speeds, creating a cyclone that arced out from her body and started twisting towards Marianne, who howled and pelted it with Air Slash after Air Slash to try and drive it back. Rather than disrupting the cyclone, the Air Slashes were simply absorbed by it, making it stronger and causing blue energy balls to spiral around its interior as it smashed into Marianne, knocking her end over end and bashing her into her own Air Slashes again and again as the wind carried her across the battlefield, finally smashing her into the ruins littering the ground and causing them to collapse on top of her.

Bow sighed as there was an explosion and a pillar of lightning shot into the sky as Marianne blasted her way out of the debris. "I suppose it was too much to 'ope for zat zat would be ze end of it, _oui?_"

Marianne rose into the air, her rage so great that it looked like she was barely able to keep her plasma in one shape. Bow was understandably startled when Marianne decided to stop trying and exploded outwards, her orange energy form thinning and losing its shape as she expanded around the Drifblim. The surprised wind mage didn't have time to recover and do anything before Marianne's body, now a shapeless sheet of orange energy, surrounded and wrapped around her, creating a large sphere with her trapped in the middle. As Marianne's face appeared on the inner wall, leering insanely at Bow, the Rotom unleashed her pent-up energy on Bow, bombarding her with millions of volts of electricity. The Drifblim quickly wrapped her tendrils and fans around herself and created a shield of solid air to protect her, but Marianne didn't care, and kept striking the barrier with bolt after bolt of power, not caring how much of her energy she used up so long as she managed to kill her rival. This turned out to be her downfall, however, when she was so blinded by hatred and her zeal to destroy Bow that it didn't register in her mind that the Drifblim glowing a bright white might be something to be worried about…

Not until Bow Exploded, that is, shattering the energy sphere and ripping Marianne apart in a tremendous blast accompanied by a scream much like white noise on a radio whose volume had been turned to the maximum. As the sound of static hissed and eventually faded into silence, Bow looked out dispassionately around her as shreds of orange energy twinkled and tumbled through the air around her, each sparking and crackling and vanishing in bright flashes of light and miniature thunderclaps. All but one shred, slightly larger than the others, that struggled to maintain cohesion, trying its hardest to assume a vaguely lightning rod-shaped form but always collapsing back into a formless glob, a pair of eyes and a desperate, terrified grimace flickering across its surface.

Bow's features softened as she gazed upon Marianne's feeble attempts to keep from dissolving. She sighed. "It's 'ard to 'ate somezing as small and pitiful as zis…" she said wearily. She closed her eyes and shook her head sadly. "Even knowing what sort of a monster you are usually." She drew back a fan, gathering the power she would need to end Marianne's existence once and for all. "_Je suis desole…_ I wish zere could 'ave been anozzer way. I will make it quick. You won't feel a zing."

Marianne's eyes widened in horror, realizing she was about to die, and there was nothing she could do about it. She squealed and sparked in alarm as Bow brought her fan down…

And stopped when she heard the wind spirits cry out, and felt a deep sensation of unease. "_Que?_ What is-"

She flinched as the doors to Shivhel's castle opened and cold blasted through the valley. "Gaaaaah! Ugh…zis presence…could it really be-" She gasped when she noticed the last shred of Marianne flying away, borne on the icy wind generated by Shivhel's arrival. "Oh no you don't! Get back 'ere!" she snapped, bending the wind to her will and bringing the tattered fragment of the Rotom back towards her. "You aren't getting away zat easily-"

And Marianne didn't, but unfortunately, Bow didn't get the chance to finish her, either, because just before Bow could try a second time to end Marianne's existence, Shivhel released her power, freezing everything in Dusty Ditch, including the two sorceresses. Buried beneath thousands of tons of ice, they were suspended in place, the rivalry between them, born of the enmity between their mothers, unresolved…possibly forever.

…

Several minutes earlier…

While everyone else had been fighting the frost giants, Dawn and Palmer hadn't noticed, because they were too busy fighting Paul, who was more powerful and dangerous than ever thanks to entering Hyper Mode. Cackling, the black-blazing Weavile charged at Dawn at speeds so fast that even her trained eye had trouble keeping track of, putting her on the defensive as he lashed out at her with a hundred claw thrusts in the space of a second, forcing her to block and deflect his blows with her own claws, the clash of his blades against hers sending painful vibrations down her arms. Seeing Dawn was unable to retaliate, Palmer stepped in to help her out, forming a hammer out of ice and bringing it down on the back of Paul's head. At the last second, the corrupted ninja flipped sideways, dodging the hammer and allowing it to descend unhindered towards Dawn. Dawn immediately backflipped out of the way while Palmer quickly used his momentum to change the direction of his swing and connect the flaming hammer's head with Paul's chest. The blow was powerful enough to shatter Paul's ribs, or it would have been if his ice armor weren't protecting him, and as a result all the impact did was crack the ice plate covering his torso, and Paul was able to mend that within seconds. Not only that, rather than let himself be flung away by the mighty blow, Paul dug his claws into the hammer's head just before it hit him, and after he'd absorbed the blow, somersaulted onto the head and thrust a claw at Palmer's eye.

Dawn's sword interposed itself between them, sliding between two of his claws and allowing her to redirect his strike with a jerk of her arm, wrenching him off-balance and causing him to graze the Dragonite's cheek rather than put out his eye. Unbothered, Palmer opened his mouth and fired a point-blank flaming Dragon Pulse, the energy ball exploding and sending Paul flying while Palmer didn't even flinch as the recoil washed over him. Before Paul had even hit the ground, Palmer was in motion, a light blue orb with white streaks forming around him as he dashed forwards with Dragon Rush, Dawn charging along beside him with her claws at her side. Palmer slammed into Paul…

Who disintegrated in a puff of smoke, the real Paul appearing with a laugh behind Dawn and thrusting a claw at her back…only for the Buneary to disappear in a puff of smoke as well. Nonplussed, Paul immediately spun around with a whirling kick, but Dawn was not behind him. Instead, she emerged from his shadow, thrusting her sword at his back. Much to her amazement, Paul detected her in time, allowing him to backflip over her and land on her back, pinning her to the ground. He prepared to drive a claw into the back of her skull, but suddenly Palmer was right _there_, a Fire Punch aimed at his face. Paul bent over backwards as the Punch shot towards him, the flames from the Dragonite's fist passing so close to his face that it actually melted some of his helmet. The flames got a lot closer when Dawn suddenly bucked up from underneath him, pushing his face right into the fire. As Paul screamed in pain, a satisfied smile passed over Dawn's face at the realization that now _he_ knew what it was like to get some of his face burned off.

As Paul staggered back, Palmer brought his other fist, this one clutching a handful of burning ice kunai, up to bear. Paul immediately recovered and tilted his head to the side to dodge the blow, then shoved a Shadow Ball into the Dragonite's armpit, hoping it would blow his arm off. It didn't, but it did cause Palmer to grunt in pain from the blast, giving Paul the opportunity to duck under his arm and thrust a claw at his chest.

Dawn was waiting there to intercept him, blocking his attack with her sword, and suddenly it was Paul's turn to defend herself as she ferociously attacked him with claws and blade and conjured kunai, relentlessly bombarding him in hopes that she could keep him off-balance long enough so he wouldn't counterattack. Frustrated, Paul backflipped out of the way, only to find Palmer's arms suddenly pin him to the Dragonite's chest and begin squeezing him like a vice as he used Wrap. "What's wrong, Paul?" Palmer sneered as the Weavile grunted and struggled, ignoring the pain caused by the blades on his armor penetrating his skin. "You never had a problem with my hugs before."

"You weren't trying to kill me, then…but then again, neither was I!" Paul snarled as he unleashed a blast of Shadow Aura, causing Palmer to flinch and squeeze his eyes shut in pain as the black flames flew right into his face. Despite the hurt, however, he continued squeezing Paul, trusting Dawn to finish him while he was held in place.

And that was certainly what the Buneary intended to do as she dashed towards them, drawing her claws back to pierce Paul's chest. Unfortunately, the Weavile had other ideas, and he pulled his legs up and lashed out with his feet at Dawn's face. She ducked beneath the kick and brought her sword up to skewer him from below, but Paul's legs snapped back down and caught the blade of the sword between his feet, allowing him to yank it out of Dawn's grip with a twist of his ankles and drive it into Palmer's side. The Dragonite grunted and loosened his grip. Not by a lot, but just enough for Paul to break free, kicking the hilt of the sword as he leaped away to drive it deeper into the Dragonite's skin. _Master!_ Dawn gasped in alarm.

Palmer effortless wrenched the sword out of his side and fired a Hyper Beam at Paul. The Weavile dodged in midair and threw a Dark Pulse back. Dawn retaliated with a flaming Ice Beam, the two attacks colliding with an explosion that shook the battlefield. The blast sent the Weavile flying head over heels, landing on his feet in the snow…and sinking into it, vanishing into his own shadow. Dawn and Palmer quickly followed suit, not wanting to be struck unawares by Paul's subterfuge. For a few minutes, the shallow dip in the land was completely empty…but the sounds of a fierce battle could still be heard, but they seemed distant, as if happening far away. They occasionally grew louder, appearing to emanate from a shadow of a rock or hill or tree, only to decrease in volume again.

After a while, a shadow of a tree rippled and Paul soared out, his armor cracked and smoke trailing from him. He struck the dead tree as he passed with Night Slash, the trunk collapsing on top of the shadow and covering it up. That did not deter Dawn or Palmer, however, as the Buneary jumped out of the shadow of a nearby boulder and tackled Paul in midair, knocking him towards the ground, where Palmer abruptly appeared from the shadow they were making, spreading his wings and rising upwards to meet the two clashing ninja. Paul knocked Dawn away with a blast of Shadow Aura and dove towards Palmer with a Shadow End, black flames blazing around him. Palmer gathered power of his own around himself, using Giga Impact. The two ram attacks collided into each other, the shockwaves from the impact rippling across the battlefield and shattering rocks and wood and blasting snow away, black and purple and orange energy and flames streaking out from them as they pushed against each other with all their might. Dawn landed on her feet, skidded a few feet, then turned around and dashed right back towards the other two ninja, calling upon all her rage, all her hatred, all her Frustration with Paul and causing a powerful blazing red aura to ignite around her. With a wordless (and soundless, since she was mute) cry of fury, Dawn launched herself into the air and rocketed towards Paul, intending to help Palmer. She smashed into Paul, joining her energy to the struggle, and adding her strength to the elder Dragonite's as they pressed and pressed and…

It was not enough. With a derisive laugh, Paul summoned more of his power, causing his Shadow Aura to explode outwards in a ridiculous show of force that overwhelmed Palmer and Dawn, causing them to scream in agony as the black flames engulfed them and slammed them into the ground hard enough to crater it. Paul landed a few meters away, grunting as most of his armor cracked and fell off, damaged by the recoil from his own attack. "Phew…that actually hurt a little. Which just goes to show how strong I am, for my own attack to be powerful enough to hurt me! Ahahahaha!"

"Unh…so…this is…the power of Shadow?" Palmer grunted as he tried to pull himself out of the snow.

"No," Paul said as he phased out of view and reappeared inches away from Palmer, drawing back a claw. "This is _my _power. The power you were all foolish to deny."

Palmer grinned. "The only fool here is you…for wasting your time talking to me rather than killing me!"

"Huh?" Paul said in confusion just before Palmer flashed and exploded, flinging him back and breaking more of his armor. "Gaaaahhh!"

_He really should have seen that coming,_ Dawn said as the real Palmer helped her out of the crater. _Especially since he already knows how good all of us are at creating replicas._

"Perhaps all that Shadow is eating away at his brain," Palmer suggested. "Trading sanity for power is common among megalomaniacs."

_Indeed._ Dawn frowned. _And speaking of power…I don't understand why my attack did not do more against him. The last time we fought, when I hit him with Frustration it was so powerful that it would have killed him outright were he not immortal. But this time, he deflected me with ease! Is he truly this much stronger?_

"That, and you've gotten weaker," Paul grunted as he picked himself back up, Shadow Aura swirling as his armor regenerated.

Dawn stiffened with rage. _What was that?_

"Frustration is fueled by a Pokémon's hatred for their opponent. While I don't doubt that your hate for me is just as strong as it ever was, it's been tainted by other emotions. You've allowed yourself to grow soft, Dawn," Paul sneered.

_WHAT?_ Dawn demanded furiously.

"What are you talking about, Paul?" Palmer asked angrily.

"Isn't it obvious? Her feelings of friendship are holding her back. Before, every fiber of her being was committed to destroying me…but now she has other ties. She's part of a team. She has people who count on her, who care for her, and whom she cares for in return. As a result, her heart is no longer completely given over to hatred…and as a result, her rage is no longer as effective as it once was," Paul taunted. "Everyone's always talking about the power of friendship and bonds…but the truth is, all they do is get in the way. I learned that a long time ago…which is why I severed all ties to my past, so there was nothing that could stop me from reaching my full potential!"

_That…that can't be true…can it?_ Asked a shocked Dawn, alarmed by the implications. Was Paul right? Had her becoming a part of Team Aurabolt weakened her? Ninjas weren't supposed to form especially strong attachments to other people because it got in the way of doing their job. By bonding too strongly with her friends, had she crippled herself somehow, made it harder if not impossible to achieve her goal?

"Don't listen to him, Dawn," Palmer said. "While your friendship may have weakened the effectiveness of your Frustration, that doesn't mean it's made you any less capable a ninja. After all…there are other sources of power than hatred for a Pokémon like you."

Dawn gave him a puzzled look. _What do you mean?_

"You have not figured it out yet? Perhaps you should ask your other master, the samurai, for more information," Palmer said with a smile that Dawn completely failed to comprehend. What was he talking about?

"Other master? Wait, you've allowed yourself to become subservient to another Pokémon? And a _samurai,_ at that?" Paul asked incredulously. "I was right…those friends of yours really _have_ weakened you!"

"You're one to talk! When Oblivion's Shadow calls, do you dare hesitate to answer his summons?" Palmer retaliated.

"I only serve him for one reason…to become stronger! Once I regain my immortality and have amassed a large enough stockpile of Shadow, I will have no more need for the Nihilators!" Paul said.

Palmer smirked. "Stronger? All you're doing is making yourself weak, Paul. You deride Dawn for finding friendship, a master, a lover…but in gaining companions, she has become more like the person she was before your betrayal, and less like the monster you've become. She has found a way to become stronger…and it's _true_ strength, rather than the false power you think you've found in isolation and drugs!"

_M-Master,_ Dawn stammered, embarrassed and confused. What was he _talking_ about?

Paul bristled. "False? _FALSE?_ There's nothing fake about my power, old worm! Allow me to show you how real it is…and for the record, you're sleeping with the samurai? Seriously, Dawn? I thought you had higher standards than that!"

_I do,_ Dawn replied. _Anything's a step up from Chobin. Or you._ Palmer burst into laughter at that, and the infuriated expression on Paul's face. Snarling, Paul howled in wordless rage and sent Shadow Waves rippling outwards, tearing up the ground as they raced towards Dawn and Palmer, and…

Did nothing to them, as the Buneary and Dragonite vanished in a puff of smoke. The real ninjas appeared behind Paul and thrust their attacks at him, only for the Weavile to evaporate in a burst of Shadow aura as the real Paul, who had leaped high above them, roared in fury, Shadow Aura blasting out from him in great waves that rained down on the two ninjas as purple-black Shadow Mist, the evil fog dulling their senses and lowering their evasiveness. As they struggled to clear their heads from the debilitating effect of the Mist, Paul charged himself up with Shadow aura and slammed into the ground right between them, the Shadow Waves unleashed by the impact flinging them back. Cackling madly, the blades and claws on his gauntlets grew longer as he concentrated his power into them, driving them into the ground and channeling his Shadow aura into the earth. The ground shook, and Dawn and Palmer stumbled as huge purple spikes of ice started erupting all over the place. Startled, they quickly ran or flew as fast as they could, using their ninja senses to try and anticipate where each spike would appear next so they could avoid it…but thanks to the Shadow Mist, this was more difficult than it should have been, and more than a few times they tripped or faltered and nearly got skewered by a spike.

It didn't help matters at all that Paul had leaped back into the air and was raining Shadow Balls, Dark Pulses, and ice shuriken at them, leading his shots so that whenever they dodged an ice spike they'd blunder right into one of his volleys. They did their best to evade those attacks, too, but again thanks to the Shadow Mist this was easier said than done, and more than once they got singed, scratched, or even hit dead-on by the projectiles, which very nearly led to them getting skewered by the spikes on more than one occasion. In an attempt to confuse Paul, they used their cloning trick to split into several dozen Bunearies and Dragonites dashing all over the place, giving him extra targets to choose from while they tried to formulate a counterattack.

Not having any of this, the Weavile sent Shadow Waves blasting out in every direction to buy him some time and then landed on the ground, punched it to generate _more_ ice spikes, an especially massive one bursting out of the earth right beneath his feet. As it rose with him on its peak, he generated clones of himself to perch on top of several of the smaller ice spikes to harass Dawn and Palmer's duplicates and try to weed out the real ones. While they did that, he stood on his hands, grabbed the ice mountain he was standing on between his hands, and _ripped the entire thing out of the ground and threw it into the air._ As it slowly tumbled above him, ice fragments flying off its massive bulk, Paul fired a Dark Pulse at it, shattering it into a million razor-sharp pieces that rained down all over the place, piercing and destroying most of the clones and forcing Dawn and Palmer to work even harder to evade the increasingly lethal environment around them. Just to be an asshole, Paul generated another dose of Shadow Mist just to guarantee this would be almost impossible, and grinned sinisterly as he saw them stumble and grunt in pain, many of the frozen splinters piercing their flesh.

As Dawn staggered from one of the ice shards imbedding itself in her hip, an ice spike exploded from the ground just behind her half a millisecond after she'd cleared it, the sudden eruption sending her tumbling head over head right into the spot where the next spike was going to emerge. Seeing this, a horrified Palmer swooped down and grabbed Dawn, flying her out of the way…but not before the spike appeared, ripping straight through his wing as he glided over it. He cried in pain and dropped from the air, clutching Dawn to his chest and curling around her as he hit the ground, plowing through the snow and smashing through several spikes as he rolled uncontrollably across the battlefield. He smashed through a boulder and shattered a tree before he managed to come to a stop, flipping upright with his front towards Paul just in time for him to unleash the Draco Meteor he'd been charging up, spitting an orange ball of flaming energy directly at Paul. Surprised, the Weavile quickly leaped out of the way as it struck the ground he'd been standing on and exploded, sending dozens of smaller energy balls rocketing across the landscape in every direction and destroying the remaining ice spikes, one of the stray projectiles slamming into Paul's back and exploding with a blast that shattered the armor on his back and badly burned his back, causing the fallen ninja to cry in pain as he was flung through the air and smashed headfirst into a boulder, shattering it before skidding through the snow beyond on his face.

Palmer clutched Dawn in one hand and reared back, flinging her at Paul with all his might before charging after her on foot, no longer able to glide due to his torn wing. Not caring what Paul had said before, Dawn called upon her Frustration to cloak herself in crimson flames. Paul staggered to her feet, saw her coming, snarled and quickly dashed out of the way…only for Palmer to slide right in front of him and strike him with a Fire Punch, flinging him right back the way he'd come…and directly into the path of Dawn's Frustration. The resulting explosion rocked the battlefield, shattered the Weavile's armor, and sent a smoking, howling Paul flying away…right into Palmer, who had conjured an ice sword and drove it right through the Weavile as he came at him, impaling him and ripping out the other side. "That was for my son!" the Dragonite snarled as Paul gasped.

"Oh…yeah? Well this one's for…ME!" Paul shouted as he released a blast of Shadow aura, shattering the sword going through him and knocking the startled Palmer back, before surging towards the Dragonite with Shadow End. Palmer tried to dodge using his ninja cloning trick…but thanks to the effect of the still-active Shadow Mist, the substitute didn't form as quickly as it should have, and so there was nothing to stop Paul from hitting him with an attack so powerful it would have disintegrated his torso.

Nothing except Dawn, that was, who had Bounced into the air the second she'd finished recovering from the power drain caused by Frustration, and crashed into him before he could hit Palmer, driving him into the ground hard enough to crater it…as well as driving her claws into his back hard enough to imbed her paws up to the knuckle in his spine. She grinned, satisfaction flaring up at the knowledge that the fiend was dead at last…

Until the Weavile exploded in a burst of Shadow Aura that flung her back. _No!_ she shrieked, realizing she'd been deceived.

"Yes," Paul sneered as he drove a claw into her back, piercing her body. "You didn't think it'd be that easy, did you?"

_No…I…didn't!_ Dawn clicked as she reached back, grabbed the startled Paul by the shoulders, and pulled him closer to her, face screwing up in pain as the tips of his claws ripped through her chest.

"Wh-what? What are you-" Paul cried in disbelief, struggling to pull his arm out or break free, but Dawn's grip on him remained firm, not faltering in the slightest even as he used blasts of Shadow aura to try and break free, severely burning her in the process.

_Master, strike him now with the secret technique!_ Dawn clicked against Paul's arms, trying not to let the slick blood covering her claws keep her from enunciating clearly. _I'll hold him in place so he can't escape!_

Paul's eyes widened in horror. "What? The clan's secret attack? NO!"

"But Dawn, what about-" Palmer started.

_Don't worry about me! I have survived everything life has thrown at me so far, and life has thrown a _lot_ at me! If anyone can survive that attack, it's me…_Paul,_ on the other hand…_ Dawn said.

Palmer stared at her in astonishment. "…I understand. You are a true ninja, Dawn. I am honored to have fought beside you." Palmer closed his eyes, concentrating. "I need but a second to ready the attack. Hold him steady for just a little longer!"

_You couldn't tear me from him if you tried,_ Dawn said, and considering how hard Paul was trying (and failing!) it was clear she meant what she said. Desperately, Paul tried to phase away, but since he was touching Dawn she got dragged with him. He tried sinking into shadow, only for Dawn to fire an Ice Beam at their feet, creating a thick mass of ice that encased their legs and kept him from fleeing. He tried blasting her off of him with his Shadow Aura and countless other powerful attacks, not caring how badly the recoil hurt him, but through it all Dawn refused to let go of him, not allowing him the slightest opportunity that he could use to escape.

"Th-this won't work!" Paul said frantically as energy started coalescing around Palmer. "I'm not the real Paul, I'm just another fake!"

_If you were a fake, you'd never tell me that,_ Dawn said serenely. _You'd have let me think you were the real one and allow me to sacrifice myself for nothing. I had been fairly certain that you were the true Paul already, but this just cements my beliefs. Now your destruction is assured. After all these years, my vengeance will finally be fulfilled._

"NO!" Paul yelled frantically.

_Yes,_ Dawn replied, closing her eyes. _Master…I'm ready._

"As am I," Palmer said, making a complex series of hand motions and humming under his breath. His form blurred and split into seven glowing Dragonites, each of which flipped through the air and landed in a circle around Dawn and Paul. Each of those Dragonites made another series of hand motions, causing their radiance to increase. "Dragon's Claw special technique…" they intoned, eyes narrowing. "SEVENTH…SLAAAAAAAAAASH!"

They lunged forward, moving so quickly that a single blink of the eye was all it took to miss them as they converged on Dawn and Paul and went past, landing opposite from where they had started with their backs to the two ninjas. Six of the Dragonites vanished, and the remaining Palmer grunted and fell to one knee, his muscles sore from the exertion required by the secret move as well as all the other wounds he'd taken in the battle. He wasn't as young as he'd used to be… "It is done," he whispered, catching his breath.

Paul blinked in confusion. "Huh? What's done? I think you missed-"

He was cut off when the 666 cuts Palmer and his duplicates had made in his flesh exploded, spraying blood everywhere in a veritable fountain of crimson fluid. Copious amounts of blood gushed from Dawn as well, but Palmer had done his best to spare her from the brunt of the attack, so only had 111 cuts. Of course, considering all the other damage she'd taken in the fight so far, it was a rather small mercy, leaving her in only marginally better shape than Paul. They both collapsed to the ground, the snow around them turning a bright red from the blood spilling seemingly without end from their bodies. Grimacing when he saw how much blood was staining the snow, Palmer limped over, hoping Dawn was still alive. After everything else she had suffered in the years since last he had seen her, it would be a cruel twist of fate for her to die here beside her greatest enemy...and leave Palmer alone again, the last member of the Dragon's Claw. The world needed a ninja of Dawn's caliber…a ninja whose courage and determination burned stronger than any other ninja Palmer had ever met, including himself. _If we survive this, I'm going to teach her everything I know_, _including the Seventh Slash,_ he thought firmly. _And elevate her to the rank of Master. If _anyone's_ earned it, she has._

"Dawn?" he whispered as he knelt next to the mangled Buneary. "Can you hear me?"

…_Ma…ster?_ She clicked, her claws trembling and slick with blood.

"Yes," the Dragonite said, relief washing through him. "I'm here."

…_Paul. Is…he…_

Bless her heart, even with the life pouring out of her all she could think about was completing the mission! He was about to assure her that the traitor was, indeed, dead, when suddenly he heard a ragged cough and some spluttering wheezes as Paul's maimed body twitched, spitting up blood. Palmer shook with fury, his vision briefly going red as he realized that, in spite of everything, the Weavile was still alive. "…No. He still lives," he said bitterly. "But I promise you, he won't be for much longer."

…_Fin…ish…it…_ she clicked.

"I will," Palmer promised. "But first…" He closed his eyes, made a series of hand motions, and placed his hands over Dawn's chest. His claws glowed, and warm light slowly washed out from them to envelop the Buneary.

She shuddered and gasped as energy permeated her form, saturating into her cells and triggering her healing process, causing her many wounds to begin to seal themselves. It wasn't a perfect healing spell, but it was enough to stop her from bleeding, mend most of her internal injuries, and restore enough of her strength to allow her to sit up, although her head spun and she nearly blacked out from moving too quickly. _How…how did you…_ she clicked in amazement as she stared at her body, which now had at least two hundred new scars but was otherwise in working order.

Palmer smirked. "Ninjutsu is good for more than just killing or deception, you know." He grunted in pain and nearly keeled over.

_Master!_ Dawn said in alarm, trying to get up to help him and coming close to passing out herself. _Oh…ohhhh…_

"Take it easy…you're mostly healed, but you're nowhere near a hundred percent," Palmer said. "Neither am I, come to think of it. I used up a bit more energy than I expected…you were pretty far gone. I'm glad I was able to bring you back."

_I would have been fine!_ She said angrily. _You didn't need to waste your time and energy on me!_

"But I did," Palmer corrected her. "Even if you would have been fine, I had to be sure. Your friends would never have forgiven me if I brought you back in such a bad shape. And besides…I had to make absolutely certain you didn't die. You're all I have left, Dawn. My son, the clan, the other ninjas…we're all that's left of the Claw. Now that I know what befell the others, I can't stand to lose you, too. I don't want to be alone."

…_Master…_ Dawn said softly.

Paul moaned in pain, interrupting the moment. "Ah, right, I'd almost forgotten," Palmer said, staggering to his feet. "We have some important business to finish with Mr. Yami, don't we, Dawn?"

_Indeed,_ Dawn said, managing to draw her sword. _It's time to end this._

They walked towards Paul, preparing to kill him once and for all…

When Shivhel unleashed her attack, freezing all of Dusty Ditch, and them as well. Paul's death sentence was postponed, yet again…

…

Several minutes earlier…

"BEHOLD MY POWER, FOOLS! YOU THOUGHT I WAS STRONG BEFORE…NOW WITNESS THE MIGHT OF A GOD OF EVIL!" Articuno screamed as her Shadow Aura burst outward and infested the clouds above them, causing them to gain an ominous purplish hue and crackle with black light. The snow stopped, and in its place purple rain began to fall on the mountaintop, causing the Lucarios and Pupitars to gasp in pain as it struck them, their Auras flaring up in protest to the negative weather.

"Gah! What is this stuff? I can feel it even through my armor!" Ritchie cried.

"Is…this what poison feels like? Ugh…no wonder everyone hates it so much…and gets exasperated that I keep forgetting I'm immune to it!" Ash grunted.

"You too? I thought I was the only one!" said the surprised Ritchie. Ash sweatdropped.

"Wait, if you're immune to poison, then why is it hurting you?" asked a confused Cruise.

"Because it's not poison, it's like…liquefied Shadow Aura or something," Ash said.

"That sounds really nasty," said a disgusted Tiny.

"It feels bad, too…ooohhh…I'm starting to feel kinda sick…" Tiny groaned.

"Yeah? Well I'm sick of you runts! DIE!" Articuno screamed, the Shadow Aura around her roiling as she swooped towards them with Shadow Rush. They scrambled to get out of her way, the black flames from her wingtips flaring out to strike them as she passed by, causing them to cry out in pain. It would have hurt more, though, if they had been in front of her, going by the deep, burning gouges her claws had left in the mountaintop.

"She's coming back for another pass!" Tiny cried in alarm as Articuno doubled back and prepared to charge them again.

"Then let's show her what we think of her so-called 'power!'" Ash snarled, hurling an Aura Sphere at the oncoming ice bird. Ritchie threw one of his own, Tiny used Hidden Power, and Cruise fired a Dark Pulse. They spread their attacks out, in the hopes that by dodging one projectile Articuno would fly right into another one.

They were understandably alarmed when Articuno cackled and kept flying straight towards them, her Shadow Aura blazing up around her to completely consume their attacks. "Is that all you've got? Try harder, losers!" she shrieked as she hurtled at them with Shadow Rush. Again, they barely managed to scramble out of the way, their moves sluggish and slower than usual due to the debilitating effects of Shadow Sky, allowing the edge of Articuno's Shadow Aura to clip them again as she went by. Ritchie, however, was able to bear it more easily thanks to his armor, and managed to get back to his feet and dash after Articuno while the others were still on the ground, leaping into the air and grabbing her tail just before she could fly off the edge, digging his heels into the rock and creating deep furrows as he used all his strength to anchor himself in place. Articuno squawked in alarm as she got yanked backwards, flapping her wings frantically to keep from falling out of the sky. "Hey, what the…what do you think you're doing back there? Hands off my tail, it's one of my best features!"

"Says you!" Ritchie grunted, pulling on Articuno with all his might and flinging her over his shoulder, causing her to slam into the ground behind him.

She grunted and staggered to her feet, only to scream in agony as a ferociously snarling Ash drove his staff into her chest, the crystal on its end glowing brilliantly as it sent positively-charged Aura surging through her corrupted veins. "Graaaaaahhhhh!"

"You like that, huh? Then here's some more!" Ash growled as he channeled more of his Aura into her. Tiny and Cruise charged themselves up with Aura and slammed into Articuno from behind, pushing her further onto Ash's staff and adding their own power to the Lucario's. Ritchie ran over, pulled back a fist, powered it up with Aura, and punched Articuno so hard he imbedded his arm inside of her up to the elbow, pouring his power into the evil goddess as well.

"Take it! Take it all!" Ritchie shouted as he pumped Aura into her. "Maybe this'll remind you of who you used to be!"

"I already remember who I used to be, thank you very much…and I was just as much of a bitch then!" Articuno cried as she released a blast of Shadow Aura that knocked all of them back and sent Ash's staff flying out of her body, flipping end over end before burying itself point-down in the ground some distance away. As they struggled to get their bearings, Articuno lunged forwards at Ash, trying to gore him on her beak, catch him on her talons, or decapitate him with her wings. Ash had to scrambled back frantically to avoid each attack until he managed to reach his staff, which he quickly wrenched out of the ground and held in front of him just as Articuno's head shot forward again, causing her beak to slam into it and recoil. "Gah!"

Ash swung his staff at Articuno's head, clocking her on the side and causing her to stagger back. "What the Abyss were you doing?" he shouted at Ritchie as the other Lucario ran over. "Were you trying to redeem her _again?_ We've been over this! There's no changing her! _She has to die!_"

"I…I know, but-" Ritchie started.

"But nothing! She can't be allowed to continue living, and I'm _not_ just saying that because I _really_ want her dead or because I'm apparently fated to kill her," Ash said. "She's too powerful, dangerous, and unstable to be allowed to continue existing!"

"Oh, and _you_ aren't?" Articuno sneered. Ash hesitated at this, and Articuno spat an Ice Shard at him that he only barely managed to deflect with his staff; the chunk of black ice had been twice the size of his torso!

"We're going to fix whatever's wrong with Daddy before it's too late for him!" Tiny cried, ramming into Articuno from behind and using Thrash to dig his spikes deeper into her body, drawing blood.

Articuno grimaced and released a blast of Shadow Aura that knocked Tiny back. "And what if you can't? What if he becomes a horrible monster like me? Are you gonna put him down, too?" she taunted.

"If that's what it takes…then yes. They will," Ash said solemnly.

"Whoa! Seriously?" cried the startled Ritchie.

"D-Daddy…" Tiny whispered.

"Wait, really? Wow, and you call _me_ crazy?" Articuno said incredulously.

"We do, because you are!" Cruise said, throwing a Rock Slide at the bird.

"At least I'm not borderline suicidal!" Articuno retorted, knocking the rocks away with a sweep of her wing and exhaling a blast of Frost Breath at the Pupitar.

Ritchie jumped in her path and smashed through the freezing blast with an Aura Sphere that blasted through the attack and exploded against Articuno's chest, causing her to flinch. Ritchie rammed into her with Extremespeed, his momentum carrying both of them towards the edge of the mountain as he punched and clawed and kicked at her repeatedly. Ash dashed after him with Extremespeed as well, stabbing the pointed end of his staff into Articuno's chest again and again. "You're the suicidal one, thinking it was a good idea to pick a fight with the guy who killed you once already!" Ash snarled.

Shrieking in pain and frustration, Articuno released a blast of Shadow Aura that knocked the two Lucarios off and sent her flying off the side of the mountain. She spread her wings, catching the wind and allowing her to rise back up into the air, an extremely pissed look on her face. "Okay, that is _it!_ I have had it with you punks! No more Ms. Nice Incredibly Beautiful and Powerful Legendary Evil Ice Goddess! You thought I was bad before, then get a load of _this! _SHADOW…CHIIIIIIILLLL!"

"Why did you shout that attack name?" Tiny asked in confusion as Articuno started gathering power, Shadow Aura swirling around her.

Articuno paused. "…Because, that's why! DIE!" She opened her beak and fired her ultimate Shadow technique, a tremendous beam of purple spiky energy that struck the mountaintop and exploded outwards, engulfing the startled heroes and covering the peak in jagged purple-black ice. "Ha! There! You're frozen alive, assholes! Who's laughing-" Abruptly, a large portion of the ice exploded in a blast of blue fire. "What?"

"Nice try, but did you really think something like that would keep us down?" Ritchie boasted, flexing his muscles, Aura rippling around him.

"Actually, it was pretty close. We might not have made it if we hadn't combined our powers to create an Aura shield just in the nick of time," Cruise said.

Ritchie glared at him. "She didn't need to know that."

"Sorry," the Pupitar said.

"Not bad," Articuno admitted. "But before you pat yourself on the back, there's one thing you should probably remember."

"And what's that?" Ash asked, narrowing his eyes.

"You SUCK!" Articuno shouted, covering herself in Shadow Aura and diving towards them. The heroes tensed, preparing their attacks…and were surprised when Articuno instead crashed into the mountainside, the rock turned brittle by the deep-freeze she'd caused with her Shadow Chill and allowing her to tear through it with ease, wings folded to her sides as she smashed through it and out the other side. Cracks and fissures started radiating out from the gaping hole she'd left, and the thick ice mass she'd created started shifting and groaning ominously.

The heroes exchanged alarmed looks. "Aw, crap-" Ash said just before the mountaintop shattered, sending them plummeting to their deaths.

Articuno cackled as she swooped by, reveling in the sight of them tumbling uncontrollably towards the unforgiving ground along with several hundred tons of jagged rock and ice. "See you at the bottom, losers!"

"No!" Ash snarled as the ice bird banked and started to glide away, Aura blazing up around him. "You aren't getting away!" He dug his staff into the side of one of the falling boulders and used it as leverage to fling himself through the air towards Articuno. He hopped from rock to rock as he chased after his foe, leaving the others behind.

"Ash, hang on, wait for us!" Ritchie cried in alarm, trying to mimic the other Lucario.

"Daddy!" Tiny yelled as they chased him.

Ash reached the edge of the plummeting debris and jumped into the air, taking a leap of faith as he soared towards Articuno. His arms stretched out, and he managed to grab her by the tail, nearly yanking her out of the air as his momentum carried him downward. "Ack! Wh-what the Abyss? What do you think you're doing?" she shrieked.

"Stopping you!" Ash growled.

"Seriously? You're _nuts!_" Articuno screeched.

"Says the one who's pumped herself full of soul-destroying drugs!" Ash retorted.

"Oh, get over that, will you?" she snapped. "And get off of me!" She folded her wings and barrel rolled through the air several times, trying to dislodge Ash. The Lucario gritted his teeth and dug his claws into Articuno's tail, bile rising up his throat, but he refused to let it out or lose his grip. Seeing this, Articuno frowned and did a sharp turn, tilting sideways as she flied past a nearby mountain. She flicked her tail as she went, bashing Ash into the cliff face and causing him to cry in agony and nearly fall as the rocks tore at his skin, leaving streaks of blood and blue fur smeared across the sheer surface. Laughing, Articuno flipped again and dragged Ash against the side of another cliff, exulting in his suffering.

Until Ash decided to fight back, anyway. The Lucario drove his staff into the cliff, causing him to gasp in pain as his arm was nearly wrenched out of its socket, but refusing to let go of either his staff or Articuno's tail as he dragged the weapon behind him, not only tearing up the cliff in his wake but also slowing Articuno down and forcing her to flap her wings faster to keep from falling. "Dammit, stop that already!" she snapped.

"You…first!" Ash roared, using his staff as leverage to plant his feet against the cliff face. Ignoring how it tore at the pads on his feet, he started running across the surface alongside Articuno, pulling his staff out of the wall as he went and using his momentum to move above her without letting go of her tail. When he was in position, he pushed off the cliff, released his hold on Articuno's tail, and took another leap of faith, landing on Articuno's back.

"Gaaah! What the—get off!" Articuno screeched, flailing about frantically to try to knock Ash off.

"Like the Abyss I am!" Ash snarled, sprouting Metal Claws and digging them into Articuno's back, drawing blood. Articuno howled in pain and released a blast of Shadow Aura, trying to knock Ash off, but Ash just kept clinging on with his claws, his own Aura blazing up around him to mitigate some of the damage the black flames were causing. He started ripping at Articuno's back with his claws, causing her to shriek and wobble as he tore out feathers, blood, ice spines, and chunks of flesh. She flipped over to try and knock him off, but Ash refused to let go even when he was dangling upside-down, continuing his brutal assault against his erstwhile steed. Desperate to dislodge him, she turned sideways and flew back towards the cliffs, slamming Ash into the wall and dragging his back against the rocky surface, the ice spines on her back goring his chest. Ash howled in pain as the cliff tore open his back, but just dug in deeper with his claws, rending open big tears in Articuno's back as the cliff dragged at him and tried to pull him off. Grimacing in pain, Articuno moved away from the cliff, realizing this wasn't working…

So she thought up a different idea. Folding her wings to her side, she shot forwards with Aerial Ace, slicing through the air at high speeds and causing Ash to be buffeted by incredibly strong winds. Ash ground his teeth and tried to keep hold, but started to find himself slipping. Sensing this, Articuno made things worse by doing barrel rolls and loops at high speed, the fact that she was doing all of this in Aerial Ace bringing her dangerously close to crashing into the surrounding mountains but figuring it was worth it if she could dislodge Ash. Her efforts seemed to be vindicated when, with a horrified yell, Ash found himself flung off of Articuno's back, tumbling to his death…

Until Ritchie extended an arm and caught Ash one-handed, stopping his fall. "Gotcha!"

Ash's jaw dropped in amazement. "Ritchie?"

"Do you know any other Lucarios in the area wearing suits of armor?" Ritchie joked. He was sitting with his legs wrapped around Cruise, using the Pupitar as a makeshift rocket of sorts to fly through the air, which was how he'd managed to catch up with Ash and Articuno and save Ash from a painful demise.

Tiny rose up underneath Ash and placed himself between his legs, allowing Ritchie to let go of him and drop Ash onto his foster son's back. "Daddy, what were you thinking running off like that?" Tiny demanded, his worry and anger throbbing up their bond so powerfully it almost caused Ash physical pain. "You _promised_ you weren't going to do something like that again, remember?"

Ash flinched, realizing Tiny was right. He'd screwed up again. At least he hadn't lost control of his Aura and gone Void like he almost had last time… "You're right. Sorry…"

"Well, no biggie," Ritchie said, easily putting the whole mess behind them. "We're all together now, which means Articuno doesn't stand a chance!"

"Oh, please! You idiots think you can fight me like that?" Articuno guffawed incredulously. "I'm a ruler of the sky! Those are just flying rocks! You don't stand a chance against me in the air!"

"We've lasted this long," Cruise pointed out.

"On the ground, maybe…but the skies are my domain! Up here, I'm unbeatable!" Articuno said.

"Yeah? Why don't you put your Poké where your beak is and prove it?" Ritchie taunted.

"I'd be happy too!" Articuno started flapping her wings rapidly, generating a Blizzard of Shadow Aura that blew against them, the gale-force winds and negatively-charged weather combining to push them back quite a ways and nearly fling Ash and Ritchie off of Tiny and Cruise's backs. Folding her wings against her sides, she charged up her Shadow Aura and dove at them with Shadow Rush. The two Pupitars barely managed to get their bearings before Articuno breezed past them, the Tailwind she left in her wake sending them spinning wildly and causing Ash to slip off, only able to save himself by grabbing one of Tiny's horns before he could fall.

"Whoaoaoaoaoa…I feel dizzy…" said the dazed Tiny. Cruise threw up.

"You'll feel a lot worse than that when I'm through with you!" Articuno sneered, opening her beak and exhaling her Shadow Chill, hoping to freeze them solid and drop them out of the air. Ritchie and Cruise countered with Dark Pulse, and Ash, despite his visceral loathing for the technique, joined in. The three blasts of Dark energy collided with Articuno's Shadow Chill, slowing the beam down but failing to stop it outright. Articuno cackled to herself as the Chill kept creeping closer and closer towards them…

Until Tiny, getting a brilliant idea, used Screech. Ash, Ritchie, and Cruise were all relatively unaffected due to overexposure to the move, but Articuno was not so lucky, and she cried in surprise and alarm as the high-pitched wail bombarded her eardrums, breaking her concentration and causing the Shadow Chill to falter. The three Dark Pulses surged forward and collided with her chest, exploding and sending her flying backwards. As smoke trailed from her form, she flapped her wings to stabilize herself and glared furiously at them. "You little-! Yell at _me_ will you?" She spat an Ice Beam at Tiny.

Ash intercepted the beam, putting his staff in front of Tiny so that the crystal on its tip caught the beam and absorbed it, glowing as it drank in the energy. "Whoa, I didn't know you could do that!" the Pupitar said.

"Neither could I," Ash admitted. He twirled his staff over his head and pointed it at Articuno, firing the absorbed Ice Beam back as a blast of Aura.

Articuno squawked in alarm and dove out of the way of the energy blast. "Ack! How did you…oh, nice trick, smart guy, but can you do that with _this?_" She exhaled Frost Breath at Ash and Tiny.

"Uh, can you absorb that?" Tiny asked.

"I don't think so, no," Ash said.

"Ah. Right," Tiny said, quickly dodging the attack before it could strike them.

As Articuno concentrated her ice breath on Ash and Tiny, Cruise shot towards her, Ritchie standing up on his back and tensing himself, waiting for the right moment. When they got within range, he leaped off of the Pupitar's back and sailed towards Articuno. Seeing him coming out of the corner of her eye, Articuno turned her head and hit him full-on with her Frost Breath, but Ritchie's armor shielded him from the freezing cold, allowing him to fly through the attack and land on Articuno's chest, where he dug into her breast with Metal Claws that grew from the knuckles of his armor and started punching her repeatedly with his free hand. "Oh, not again!" Articuno snarled in exasperation, bending down to peck at Ritchie's skull repeatedly to try and knock him off. Even with the protection granted by his full-body armor, Ritchie winced, the blows from Articuno's beak causing his head to ring painfully.

"Yes, again!" Ash shouted as he leaped from Tiny and landed on Articuno's back, wrapping his arms around her neck and beginning to squeeze.

"Grah! Cut it out!" Articuno squawked angrily, bucking and shaking her head about angrily, managing to wrench Ash off her back and swing him around her neck so that he slammed into Ritchie, dislodging the armored Lucario and nearly sending him falling to his death (unless his armor would have protected him, which he wasn't particularly keen on finding out) if he hadn't managed to grab onto one of Articuno's talons, dangling from her claw over the snowy plains and valleys below. Ash planted his feet on Articuno's chest and tightened his grip, doing his best to choke the life out of the ice bird. This turned out not to be the best idea, because he was in the ideal position for Articuno to bend her neck down and gouge out his eyes with her beak. Startled by the oncoming peck, Ash let go of Articuno's neck and slid down her body to her other talon, clinging onto it desperately and hanging right next to Ritchie.

"So…come here often?" Ritchie joked.

"More than I'd like to," Ash grunted.

"Why won't you two just _die_ already?" Articuno screamed in exasperation, shaking her legs wildly to try and dislodge the Lucarios. Wings flapping hard to keep her hovering in place, she bent her head down to try and peck off her clingers-on. Fortunately, Tiny and Cruise had no intention of letting their fathers get eaten or maimed by the evil ice bird, and they slammed into her from in front and behind, causing her to gasp in pain and nearly drop from the sky as they pressed into her from both sides, using Aura to boost their gas propulsion systems. "Argh! Stupid…brats!" she snarled, releasing a blast of Shadow Aura that flung the two Pupitars away and nearly knocked Ash and Ritchie off, forcing them to grit their teeth and cling harder to Articuno's ankles to keep from falling. "This is why I've always hated kids! They don't even make particularly good meals, there's just not enough meat on them!"

"Guys, get down here! I have an idea!" Ritchie shouted to the Pupitars.

"You do?" Ash asked.

"Well, sort of," Ritchie said.

Cruise and Tiny quickly floated down next to their parents. "What is it, Daddy?" Cruise asked. "How can we help?"

Ritchie wrapped his legs around Cruise without letting go of Articuno's leg. "I want you to pull downward as hard as you can!"

"You too, Tiny!" Ash said, wrapping his legs around his son.

"Okay!" The Pupitars reversed the thrust of their jets and pulled down as hard as they could, using their fathers to drag Articuno towards the ground.

"Huh? What do you think you're…oh, I see, trying to ground me, huh?" Articuno burst into laughter. "Real cute, kids, but you're not nearly powerful enough to do that!" She started flapping her wings harder, rising back into the air.

Ritchie grimaced as the diverging pulls of Articuno and Cruise tugged his body in separate directions. "More power, Cruise!"

"What? But Daddy-" said the startled Pupitar.

"Don't argue with me, just do it! Full throttle!" Ritchie ordered.

"You too, Tiny! Give it everything you've got!" Ash cried.

With twin cries, the Pupitars complied, brilliant azure flames igniting around them as they poured as much power as they could into their jets, pulling on Ash and Ritchie with every fiber of their beings. The Lucarios ground their teeth as their bodies were rather painfully stretched between Articuno and their sons, but refused to let go, pulling on the ice bird's legs with all their strength as well. Startled to realize she was losing altitude, Articuno flapped harder, forcing the heroes to pull harder, forcing Articuno to flap even _harder_, in an escalating cycle that would, inevitably, tear one of them apart.

That someone happened to be Articuno. She shrieked in agony as Ritchie, using Cruise's thrust and the super strength granted by the Fist Plate, managed to _completely rip off her leg_. Flinching as blood spattered him and Articuno thrashed in pain, Ash growled, not wanting to be outdone, so he raised his staff and drove it into the side of Articuno's leg, sawing with the pointed end until her other limb broke off as well, the recoil as the severed leg tumbled free and Tiny was able to blast away from Articuno at full speed nearly causing him to fall off. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! ! !" the ice bird howled.

Ritchie stared at the giant drumstick in his hands incredulously. "Okay, I was not expecting that to happen."

"Wait, what?" Ash asked in disbelief as he rubbed his incredibly sore arms. "What did you _think_ would happen when you did that?"

"I thought we'd just drag her to the ground where we could fight her on our terms, not rip her legs off!" Ritchie said.

"THEN MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE FUCKING THOUGHT OF THAT BEFORE YOU FUCKING PULLED MY FUCKING LEGS OFF! I'M GOING TO FUCKING _KILL_ YOU!" Articuno screamed, blood gushing from the stumps that had once been her legs in copious amounts as she dove towards them, angling her wings against her body and using Aerial Ace. Tiny and Cruise frantically dove out of the way, the slipstream of her passage nearly knocking them out of the sky. "DIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!"

"Whoa, and I thought she was angry before!" Ritchie said in alarm as he righted himself, only to nearly fall off again when Cruise nearly turned upside-down to avoid Articuno's next screaming charge.

"YOU DON'T KNOW THE MEANING OF ANGRY!" Articuno howled as she spread her wings and slowed her charge, managing to bank and fly back towards them only seconds before she could crash into one of the mountains rising up all around them.

And that gave Ash an idea. "Tiny, take us away from her!"

"Huh? We're running away?" Ritchie protested.

"No, I've got a plan…and I've thought it out more than you did yours! Well…sort of," Ash said.

"…That does not fill me with confidence," Ritchie confessed. He yelped and ducked before Articuno's next flyby could take off his head. "But in the absence of any better ideas…Cruise, follow his lead!"

The two Pupitars took off, pushing their gas jets to the limit as they flew away from the crazed Articuno. "OH NO YOU DON'T! COME BACK HERE AND DIE LIKE THE STUPID MORTALS YOU ARE!" she screamed, Shadow Aura blazing up around her as she gave chase. She pursued the Pupitars as they bobbed and weaved and zigzagged all over the place, using their Aura-senses to anticipate the evil goddess's attacks only milliseconds before she rushed them, the shaves as she missed them so close that the tips of the black flames surrounding her licking against their armored hides. With each missed charge Articuno grew more enraged and volatile in her attempts to kill them…as well as somewhat more unfocused as the massive blood loss from her dismembered legs began to take their toll on her, causing her to get somewhat light-headed and have to concentrate harder to keep flying. "Ugh…get…get back here, you fuckers…stop…swimming all over the place…we're in the air, not underwater, flying is not like…swimming!" she said somewhat dazedly as the figures of the heroes started blurring in her vision.

"It's working…it looks like she's about to drop from the sky!" Ritchie said gleefully.

"So are we…" Cruise moaned, his Aura faltering. "We're exhausted!"

"We've been flying for what seems like forever…" Tiny groaned, his speed dropping. "I don't think we can do this for much longer…"

"Don't worry, I think one more try should do the trick…" Ash said. "Fly straight ahead!"

"Huh? But Daddy, that's a-" Tiny protested.

"Don't worry, just keep going and don't change direction until I tell you," Ash said.

"Well…all right, Daddy. If you say so," Tiny said, trusting completely in his father as he used the last of his power to thrust straight ahead.

The sensation of love and trust flowing through their bond buoyed Ash, and made him wonder what he had been thinking, trying to take Articuno on alone. "Hey, Articuno!" Ash yelled over his shoulder as they accelerated. "This game of Meowth and Pikachu's been fun, but we're leaving, you're just too slow for us to play with!"

"What? Slow? _Me?_ I'll show _you_ slow!" Articuno snarled, rocketing towards them with Shadow Rush, rapidly eating up the distance between them.

"Ash, she's gaining on us…" Ritchie said anxiously.

"Don't worry. Just a few more seconds…" Ash said, focusing on what was right in front of them, swiftly approaching as they flew straight towards it. "Just a little further…wait for it…wait for it…NOW!"

The Pupitars both turned ninety-degree angles and flew out of the way…clearing Articuno's fatigue-weakened line of sight and allowing her to realize that she was shooting right towards a mountain slope. "Oh, FUCK!" she screamed, desperately trying to slow down and change direction, managing to alter her trajectory…

But not fast enough. While she didn't crash into the mountain, she clipped it with her wing, knocking her completely out of balance and sending her tumbling uncontrollably through the air, screaming as her wings and long tail got tangled around herself and sent her plummeting back into the mountain, smashing into the slope, rebounding, and rolling down the surface, crashing into every boulder and tree and troll out taking a morning constitutional as she slid down the side of the peak, leaving a trail of blood, feathers, and devastation in her wake. She finally came to a halt when the slope leveled off on the floor of one of the valleys separating the jagged peaks of Niflheim, an utterly beaten and bedraggled mess, her Shadow Aura reduced to a weak purple shimmer, one of her wings not only broken but held onto the rest of her body by nothing more than a thin strand of sinew. She groaned and sagged to the ground, vomiting blood and a lot of other things all over the place. "Ohhh…this is really not my day…"

And it was going to get a lot worse. Cruise and Tiny wobbly lowered out of the sky, their gas jets petering out and finally cutting off a few feet off the ground, causing them to plummet the rest of the distance and hit the snow hard enough to bury themselves halfway beneath it. "That…is not an experience I want to ever repeat…" Cruise said.

"Why do Flying types love flying so much? It takes too much effort…" Tiny groaned.

Ash and Ritchie climbed off their sons and stood a little unsteadily, facing down Articuno. "Ready to finish this?" Ash asked.

Ritchie nodded. "Yeah…I guess so. To put her out of her misery, if for no other reason."

"I'll…stop being miserable…when you two are _dead!_" Articuno squawked weakly as they started running towards them, spitting Ice Shards. Their fists and staff flew through the air, deflecting the Shards and causing them to shatter all over the place. Wincing in pain, she stretched out her intact wing and feebly flapped at them, generating a Gust that did little more than blow their fur back and make them feel a slight chill but otherwise didn't slow them down in the slightest. She swept an Ice Beam across the ground, trying to freeze them or knock them off their feet, but they leaped over the beam as it went past, landing on the ice it left and sliding towards her, using the slick surface to close the distance to her even faster. Staggering up as tall as she could, Articuno mustered all her remaining power, preparing to use Shadow Chill…

But Ash and Ritchie struck first, flinging Aura Spheres that exploded against her chest and sent her reeling backwards, the attack she'd been charging dissipating in a burst of black snowflakes and ice chips. Using Extremespeed to dash ahead, Ritchie slammed into the off-balance Articuno with his shoulder, knocking her onto the ground on her back and causing her to howl in agony as every broken bone and gaping wound on her body acted up all at once. Ash leaped into the air, gripping his staff with both paws and raising it above his head, howling a battle cry as he sailed towards Articuno. The ice bird's eyes bulged in horror as they saw the fierce look in his crimson orbs and realized that this was it, that after all these centuries of waiting and dreading the prophecy of the gods would at last be fulfilled and Ash would finally kill her…

And Shivhel unleashed her attack, freezing all of them in a giant chunk of ice, suspending them in time and space; the grisly tableau paused only moments before it could come to its brutal end. It did not look as if that end would ever come, now…but it was questionable whether Articuno would have preferred this fate to the one she had been about to face. Either way, it looked as if her execution had been postponed yet again…

And yet again, poor Ash was forced to suffer. Would he ever get what he deserved?

…

Several minutes earlier…

While the other heroes were fighting frost giants, tackling massive electric robots, battling ninjas, and engaging an insane avian ice goddess, another titanic battle was occurring in the skies far above Dusty Ditch. The air was alive with magic as spell after devastating spell was cast and countered, the snowy clouds crackling with energy as the three witches Bellum, Lily, and Fantina dueled in a war of enchantments powerful enough to level a small city. Upon realizing that her erstwhile daughter was fighting against her, Bellum had stepped up her game considerably, focusing most of her deadliest spells on Lily rather than her rival Fantina, both because Lily was weaker and less experienced as well as because she really, _really_ wanted to make her suffer. "If you had any sense at all, daughter, you would surrender now, or just kill yourself, because your suffering at Giratina's claws is nothing compared to what I will do to you once you're back in my grasp!" Bellum sneered as she conjured a swarm of Shadow Balls which she infused with ice power and hurled at Lily.

Lily retaliated by summoning a swirling shield of flames, the frozen Shadow Balls smashing into it and shattering. "I-it's because I have sense that I won't, Mother…I know if I give up, you'll do _horrible_ things to my friends…and I don't care what you do to me, but I'll give up my soul before I let you touch them!" she cried, flinging flaming Shadow Balls at her mother.

Bellum waved a hand, freezing the Shadow Balls solid and destroying them with a snap of her fingers. "Is that so? I could accept a deal like that. If you give up your soul to me, I will leave your friends alone. What do you think? It's a very generous offer. I would strongly consider taking it, if I were you."

"Ha, not a chance, Bellum!" Fantina said as her eyes lit up and she fired a Psybeam from one eye and a Dark Pulse from the other, the beams of light and darkness intertwining around each other in a helix of incredible polar opposites that Bellum had to raise a shield to defend herself against, the Froslass growling as the volatile energy pushed her back. "Do you really zink she's so stupid as to take such an offer? She knows you better zan anyone, and knows zat you would never ad'ere to such a bargain!"

"Not to mention that giving myself up to you would only ensure Giratina's return to this realm…which would almost certainly spell the deaths of my friends, something I will never allow to be on my conscience!" Lily said, opening about a dozen portals around her and firing fireballs, Shadow Balls, and Hexes into them.

An equal number of portals appeared around Bellum, launching the attacks at them…but the Froslass sniffed and cast a counterspell, the attacks bouncing off of her and rebounding back into the portals, where they slammed into Lily and exploded. As she cried in pain, Bellum fired several Ice Shards, Shadow Balls, and Hexes of her own into the portals before they could close, the only thing saving Lily from even more damage a quick shield conjured into existence by Fantina to protect her. "It is inevitable, daughter. If you continue along this course of action, one way or another you will come to Giratina. She will take your soul. She will take the power you possess. She will use it to break free of her prison and take revenge on those who bound her, and bring about the revival of the Ruler of Evil! You cannot stop it! Nobody can!"

"We can…and we will!" Lily grunted as she cast Payback, a wave of Dark energy blasting out from her and striking Bellum, causing her to hiss in pain as she felt the same pain Lily had just received. "We are Team Aurabolt. We…we have already done the impossible! We have defeated the legendary monster Yamatorochi, reached the forbidden Zero Isle, killed a demigod and sank the Temple of the Sea, and even managed to reform Barbedo, the evilest pirate who ever lived! We will free Dusty Ditch from your icy clutches. We will unite the world against you and your Nihilators! We will make sure the Ruler of Evil and Giratina remain in the Abyss for all time, and…and send you to join them! As long as we stand together…there's nothing we can't do!"

"Wh-what?" Bellum gasped in astonishment. Where had her daughter gotten such spirit? What had happened to the weakling who'd cowered and whimpered before her, who'd meekly submitted to her abuse? Where was she getting the courage to defy her?

_You're finally getting it, Lily,_ B said approvingly. _You're starting to understand the power your friends give you. Even when they aren't with you, their hearts are still beside yours, giving you the strength to go on!_

_Yes…_ Lily agreed. _I understand now. This is…the real power of friendship, isn't it? Just knowing that there are people who care about you and would do anything to help you…gives you the resolve to do the impossible, the thing that terrifies you most!_

_That's right,_ B said smugly. _I told you so, didn't I?_

"She is no longer your creature, Bellum," Fantina said proudly, grinning at the shocked look on Bellum's face. "You cannot cow her into submission any longer! Even if you were to recapture her, even if you were able to spirit 'er away and 'ide 'er from 'er friends…she will _never_ be yours again, zanks to ze bonds zey 'ave formed wiz 'er!"

"Never mine? _Never mine?_ You presume too much, Fantina. You forget, she is _my _daughter…and even though my control over her before was broken, her ectoplasm is still the same as mine, and so long as that is the case…she will _always_ belong to me!" Bellum howled, thrusting her hand at Lily, a chain made of ice flying out from her wrist and wrapping itself around the Misdreavus. It tightened, trying to sink into her flesh…

Only for flames to ignite around her, leaping back up the length of chain and engulfing the startled Bellum, causing her to scream in agony as the flames consumed her. Fantina laughed as the chain shattered and Bellum struggled to extinguish the flames. "Really, Bellum? Did you zink zat we wouldn't prepare for somezing like zis? I _knew_ you would try to reclaim Lily in zis manner, if you realized 'er identity…and I have made it so zat you can never bind 'er to you again, not like zat!"

"WHAT?" Bellum screamed incredulously.

"Th-that's right," Lily said, managing a smile. "You'll…you'll never be able to control me again, Mother!"

"You…" Bellum shook with rage, stunned that they had managed to thwart her. _They…they dared to…Lily is MY daughter, and they thought they could…_ Her eyes turned red. "You…you will…rrrrrAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" A tremendous mixture of Icy Wind and Ominous Wind blasted out from her, creating a white and purple tornado which buffeted Lily and Fantina but did little damage, the two witches casting spells to protect themselves.

"Well, zat got 'er ire up!" Fantina said cheerfully. Lily nodded in agreement, a surprised smile on her face.

_I should be terrified, Mother's horrible when she's angry…but why do I feel so proud and satisfied that I managed to elicit this reaction from her?_ Lily wondered.

_Because it means you're becoming your own person…something she can never tolerate or allow to happen,_ B said.

As the tornado roared around her, the enraged Bellum's form shimmered and split off, creating a dozen ice clones which conjured weapons of ice and soared out of the whirlwind towards the two witches while she remained in the eye of the storm, gathering her power. As the ice clones screamed towards Fantina and Lily, the sorceresses prepared their counterattack. Lily flung fireballs and Shadow Balls, which the clones deflected with shields and swings of their weapons, but Lily had known they would do that, and had used it as a distraction to open up portals that engulfed the replicas and deposited them somewhere far away, where the environment was less conducive to them. Fantina, on the other hand, created a dozen massive fireballs which swirled around her and blasted out towards the clones. The duplicates fired spells and ice blasts at the fireballs, but the huge orbs exploded into several hundred much smaller fireballs that swarmed all over the place chaotically before colliding with and destroying the clones. Once the air was clear, Fantina's eyes glowed and she fired another Psybeam/Dark Pulse combo into Bellum's vortex barrier. Unfortunately, rather than penetrating the whirlwind the tornado sucked it up, adding rainbow and black streaks to its surface and causing bolts of Psychic and Dark energy to blast outwards all over the place, forcing Lily and Fantina to shield themselves to keep from being annihilated by the clashing energies. Things got even worse when Bellum finished the Curse she had been casting, causing hundreds of evil runes to appear around the tornado and fire tremendous beams of lethal energy in every direction that spiraled through the air and homed in towards them.

"Oh dear," murmured a startled Fantina.

"Follow me, I have an idea!" Lily said, opening a portal to somewhere else.

Fantina quickly followed her into it. Bellum laughed as the beams pursued them through the portal. "Fools! Where did they think they could go? There is no escaping-"

Another portal opened up right above her, depositing Lily and Fantina in the center of the whirlwind alongside her. "Don't mind us, we're just passing zhrough," Fantina said to the startled Bellum as they flew past her towards the bottom of the cyclone.

"Wh-what? Why…oh, crap!" Bellum cried in alarm, quickly raising a shield just as the beams from her Curse came through the portal, flying right towards her as they mindlessly pursued their targets. She gasped in pain as the beams smashed into her barrier and cause it to buckle and nearly collapse, causing her to both curse and congratulate herself for making such a strong spell. She strengthened her shield, knowing she could outlast the beams…

Until Lily and Fantina struck her with spells of their own from below, breaking her concentration and causing the beams to slam into her with a tremendous explosion that dispelled the tornado and knocked the two witches downwards. "Phew! Zat was a close one. Good plan!" Fantina complimented Lily.

"Th-thanks," Lily said, blushing. "Too bad that didn't take her out…"

"That's right, too bad…for you!" Bellum howled as she flew out of the smoke cloud from the explosion, crackling with rage. She opened her mouth, and a pair of immense phantasmal jaws with teeth made of ice appeared around Lily and Fantina. Before the jaws could slam shut and crush them, Fantina used her ability to create matter from nothingness to form a pillar of adamantine that appeared between the jaws, wedging them open. Bellum grunted in pain and surprise, her own mouth aching in response, and then even more of her ached when Fantina created a Thermonuke 8500 and blasted her with it at full power, flinging her back as the heat baked her alive—er, undead.

"How did you-" asked the surprised Lily.

"I took a very good look at your boyfriend's contraption. I zought it might be a good idea to know 'ow to make one," Fantina said.

"Oh," Lily said. "Then why didn't you do that sooner?"

"I need a lot of concentration to make an object, and in a combat situation zat concentration is usually better put casting quick spells zan trying to create somezing zat may or may not be 'elpful," Fantina explained.

"Oh," Lily said. "That makes sense. But, er, then why didn't you create a lot of objects beforehand that we could use against Bellum?"

"Because she knew that whatever she could create, I would be able to counter…just like that accursed machine!" Bellum snarled, gesturing and causing the Thermonuke to explode in a great ball of fire. "You should know better, Lily…as an ice witch I'm acutely aware of my weakness, so take as many precautions as necessary to protect myself from artifacts or spells that could harm me!"

"Zat 'asn't stopped us from roasting you again and again, zhough," Fantina pointed out.

Bellum grinned cruelly. "I'm not dead yet, am I? Er, deader, that is…which is what you're about to be!" She waved her hand, and suddenly a pair of tremendous icebergs the size of small mountains appeared on either side of the witches and shot towards them, trying to crush them between them. Evil runes swirled within them, generating a power that prevented either Ghost from being able to phase through them, and they were too big and moving too fast to move out of the way in time.

Fantina used her Psychic powers to flip her adamantine pillar between them, but the icebergs were stronger than the last attempt to kill them, and the pillar quickly began to crumple. Abandoning it, Fantina's eyes glowed as she used Telekinesis to grab the icebergs, her form trembling as she struggled to keep the icebergs from moving any closer…but Bellum's will was just as strong as hers, and the icebergs kept advancing, albeit at a more glacial pace. "Lily…I can't…'old zem back much longer…get…'er…"

"O-okay," Lily said, quickly opening a portal and using it to reappear behind Bellum.

Unfortunately, Bellum had anticipated this, and a clone spawned into existence in front of Lily, a psychotic grin on its face. "And what do you think you're doing, young lady?"

"Stopping you!" Lily said, hurling flaming wheels at the clone.

The second Bellum froze the wheels solid, spun them around her, and flung them back at Lily like big icy buzzsaws. Lily destroyed them with Shadow Balls, and then flung Hexes at the Froslass. The faux Bellum cast counter-spells that intercepted and destroyed the spells, then conjured up a half dozen ice spears that pierced Lily from all angles…

Except it wasn't really Lily, but as much of a fake as the Froslass, vanishing in a puff of smoke as the real Lily flew past the duplicate Bellum and launched a fireball at her mother. The counterfeit blew the fireball away from her original with Icy Wind and flung an ice spear at Lily, the Misdreavus barely managing to dodge the attack. The second Bellum then generated an ice chain and flung it at Lily, looping it around her neck and pulling her tight, causing the Misdreavus to gasp as it strangled her. (Well, not really, since she didn't actually breathe, but you know what I mean.) Another Bellum split off from the original, generated another chain, and looped it around Lily from the other side. The two Froslasses began pulling hard, barbs sprouting from the ice links and digging into Lily's ectoplasm as the pressure grew, the ice witches trying to rip Lily in two.

"Stop…IT!" Lily screamed, clenching her eyes shut, fire erupting around her as she tried to channel magical energy through the chains binding her. Bolts of power and embers spiraled up the icy links towards the Bellums…

And got no further, when the ice clones sent freezing energy back down the chains to counter it, the two extremes clashing against each other and causing the chains to flash and spit out sparks, but otherwise remain intact. Lily ground her teeth and concentrated, trying to summon more power to overwhelm the clones, but there were two of them and only one of her, and between them they were able to send their ice magic coursing through the chains towards her, pushing her fire magic back inside herself and causing a very painful feedback that caused her to emit a strangled gasp of agony. "Give it up!" one of the Bellums sneered. "It's over!"

"You never had a chance against me to begin with," the other said. "I am your Mother. I know every spell you ever learned, because I'm the one who taught it to you."

"This little rebellion of yours was pointless! There is nothing you can do that I cannot counter, nothing you can try that will protect you from my wrath!" the first one said.

"…Really? Then…do you have something to…counter…_THIS?"_ Lily gasped, taking a deep breath and screaming at the top of her lungs, her hair stiffening in jagged spikes arrayed from her center of mass as she began her Perish Song.

The Bellums flinched as Lily sang, each discordant note causing searing pain to cut through their bodies like a hot knife. "What…what do you think you're doing?" one of them snarled, grinding her teeth.

"All you're doing is harming yourself! I am no stranger to pain! I can withstand anything you can dish out!" the other said.

Had Lily not been too busy singing and trying to ignore the damage she was inflicting on herself, she would have commented that she wasn't trying to hurt either of them; she was trying to divert the attention of her true mother. And it seemed to be working, the original Bellum was losing her concentration as pain wracked her body, the wordless wail of Lily's song echoing through her head and making it impossible to focus. As a result, the icebergs inexorably moving towards Fantina started to gradually slow down. "N…no…this…this is nothing! I can…I can outlast you! I can…I can…" Lily's response was to sing even _louder,_ causing a few ice dragons that had been watching in curiosity from the distance to gasp as they abruptly had heart attacks and plunged to their deaths. As the volume and suffering became too much for even her to ignore, Bellum roared in fury and snapped, whirling on Lily and striking the Misdreavus with a punch so hard it shattered the clones and the chains wrapped around her and knocked her wimple off. "DAMMIT, WILL YOU STOP THAT NOISE? I CAN'T HEAR MYSELF THINK!"

"Aaaahhh!" Lily cried in pain as she flew back, hair spilling out around her.

"NEVER LAY A HAND ON HER AGAIN!" Fantina shouted, eyes flashing as she gained full control over the icebergs, flinging them at the evil Froslass.

Bellum hesitated as suddenly a pair of massive ice blocks appeared on either side of her. "Oh fuc-" she started to say just before they slammed shut, crushing her between them.

As the Mismagius panted, sagging somewhat from tiredness, a portal opened next to her and a ragged-looking Lily flew out. "Uhh…Fantina…are you all right?" she asked.

"I'm…all right. I just need to catch my breazh. Not zat I need it, really, but you know," Fantina said, recovering. "But…what about you? You look in even worse shape!"

"Oh, I've had worse," Lily said honestly. Fantina made a face, sadly knowing this was true. She conjured her witch's hat and placed it on her head where it belonged. "But so long as both of us are okay—and I don't have to hide this anymore—I'll be fine."

Fantina smiled fondly. "I'm glad to hear zat, Lily."

Their happiness came to an end when the giant ice mass cracked and shattered in a tremendous explosion, a shrieking Bellum rising from the remains as the huge chunks of debris violently swirled around her. "No!" Lily gasped in horror.

Fantina sighed in resignation. "Oh well, I didn't really zink zat would 'old 'er for long. It's not like ice can really 'arm 'er, it's 'er own element, after all."

"You think to use my own element against me?" Bellum howled, validating this claim. "I don't know whether to be outraged or amused by such presumption! Oh hell, I'll just stick with outrage, since that's how I really want to feel anyway!" Several of the ice chunks clustered together to create huge glacial boulders that she hurled at the witches. Fantina's eyes glowed as she used Psychic to catch the boulders and hurl them back, Lily igniting them and turning them into fiery meteors. Bellum telekinetically maneuvered some of her other ice chunks to shield her, the meteors smashing into the floating masses and destroying each other. She waved a hand, and the remaining ice chunks converged into three clusters, one of which centered on herself. The chunks flew together and fused, hardening and reshaping themselves into something new. Half of them assembled themselves into a pair of tremendous floating hands made of ice, while the rest formed a horrendous demonic mask of ice encasing Bellum, who vanished with a sinister smirk beneath its surface. The mask opened its mouth and roared, bombarding Lily and Fantina with a freezing Blizzard and knocking them back.

"'uh," Fantina said faintly. "Zat's new."

"Same here," Lily said. "Although it looks like any number of 'boss' monsters in video games Leo has shown me. I wonder why so many of them seem to consist of nothing more than a head and pair of hands?"

Glyphs shone in the eyes of the mask, and a pair of tremendous purple Hex beams fired towards them. Lily opened a pair of portals right in front of them to try and catch the beams, but the lasers zigzagged around the portals and streaked straight towards them. Fantina generated a shield around them, grunting as she had to exert all her will to keep the powerful blasts from breaking through. Lily opened another portal and quickly dragged Fantina through it, the barrier falling in their wake and causing the beams to smash into each other and explode. The two witches reappeared behind the mask and let loose with some of their strongest attacks, Lily flinging immense fireballs and devastating spells while Fantina hurled fire spears and used her Psybeam/Dark Pulse combo. One of the ice claws spun around and flew into the path of the attacks, a rune glowing on its palm that absorbed the blasts as they struck it. The other hand spun around, opened up, and a mirrored rune appeared on its palm, the attacks they had just flung flying out of it right back towards them. Lily frantically opened another portal and they flew through it to safety before they could be destroyed by their own spells.

As they reappeared elsewhere, the ice mask lunged towards them, jaws opening wide to swallow them whole. As Lily gasped in fright, Fantina's eyes glowed as she fetched the adamantine pole she had used earlier—having stowed it in her personal pocket dimension after it had failed to be of use against the icebergs—and lodged it in the mask's mouth, holding its jaws open. As the mask growled in frustration and struggled to crush the obstruction in its mouth, the two witches let loose with another volley against its face. They only managed to land a few hits before the ice claws flew up to protect the mask, one absorbing the attacks and the other firing them back at the duo. They quickly portaled away, and in the interim the hands managed to pull the crumpled pole out of the mask's mouth, crushed it, and angrily flung it away.

"What do we do? We can't attack her directly so long as those hands keep intercepting our spells," Lily said as they reappeared some distance away, trying to buy themselves time to think.

"Hmm…I zink I 'ave an idea," Fantina said, quickly explaining it to her as the mask turned towards them, eyes glowing as it powered up. "Got it?"

Lily nodded. "Yes, I think that should work."

"Zen let's do it!" Fantina said as the mask's eyes fired Hex beams at them. Fantina created another shield, but this one was based on the Reflect technique, so when the Hexes struck it they rebounded and flew back towards the mask. One of the hands quickly intercepted the beams, its rune greedily absorbing their power. As it did so, the other hand, opened up, its rune starting to glow. "Now!" Fantina yelled, firing her attacks at that hand, while Lily fired her attacks at the hand that was still absorbing the Hex. Fantina's attacks struck the magical energy that was starting to emerge from the hand, and since its rune was unable to both absorb and emit at the same time, the resulting clash caused it to explode. The other hand, with nowhere to send the power it was absorbing, overloaded as Lily's attacks pushed it past its limit, destroying it. "Yes! Good job!"

"Well, it was your plan," Lily said, blushing.

Snarling angrily, the now defenseless head opened its jaws and fired a ridiculously huge Ice Beam as wide as the mouth (which was very wide, let me tell you!) at them. It was so big there was no way they could avoid, block, or redirect it, so they quickly portaled away before it could strike them. They reappeared behind the mask and unloaded their attacks on it, blasting off large chunks of it and sending ice chips flying all over the place, but quickly found that Bellum had prepared for even this eventuality when a third eye opened up on the back of her construct's head and fired a Hex at them. "Oh, come on!" Fantina said in exasperation.

"Well, I always thought she had eyes in the back of her head…" Lily murmured. Fantina quickly conjured a Reflect shield, deflecting the Hex right back at the mask and striking the eye with an explosion that destroyed it as well as another good bit of the construct.

The mask roared furiously and spun about, eyes and mask open wide as it fired Hex beams _and_ an Ice Beam all at once. "Oh dear," Fantina said as the three tremendous blasts zeroed in on them. "Zat looks painful."

"Follow me!" Lily said, opening a portal. Fantina followed her inside, as did the beams. Bellum laughed at their foolishness, knowing that her attacks would catch up to and destroy them in seconds…

Until a portal opened behind her head and the three beams blasted out and smashed into the mask with an explosion that destroyed nearly everything except for the eyes and a bit of the upper jaw, making it look more like a giant domino or opera mask now. "Very nice work!" Fantina complimented as Bellum reeled in agony. "Opening a second portal right in front of ze first portal to transfer ze beams…now zat's zinking outside ze box, ze sort of zing I try to train all of my daughters to do!"

_Does that include you, now?_ B teased.

_I…I hope so,_ Lily thought.

Bellum was _really_ angry now. Enraged and humiliated, she let loose with everything she had left. Hex beams fired continuously from her mask's eyes. Dozens of lethal spells and curses formed around her and screamed through the air towards the witches. Winged ice elementals appeared out of thin air and swooped towards them, flinging ice spears. And to make things even _worse_, the thing's hands regenerated and started firing massive lasers of their own from their palms, wildly sweeping the beams everywhere. Alarmed, Lily and Fantina did the best they could to survive, frantically flying all over the place to try and dodge the projectiles, but with every narrow miss they came that much closer to being struck again by one of the other attacks. Any barrier they formed quickly got overwhelmed and destroyed, denying them even the slightest moment to catch their breath. They tried to buy time by creating Substitutes to draw Bellum's fire, but Bellum countered that by forming Substitutes of her own, scythe-wielding Froslasses that warped all over the place in flurries of snowflakes and swinging their blades at any witch they found, not caring whether it was real or illusory so long as they could kill it. With all the intense flak flying, they didn't even have a chance to retaliate!

Inevitably, the worn-out Lily faltered and was unable to dodge an ice spear in time, causing it to clip her and send her spinning right into the path of a curse, which struck her and exploded, sending her flying away, screaming as dozens of projectiles smashed into her and rent off great chunks of ectoplasm. _"NON!"_ Fantina cried in horror, which might have been a mistake because her distraction at Lily's plight caused her to get full-on by one of Bellum's eye beams. She howled in pain, and screamed even louder when a half-dozen ice clones appeared and drove their scythes into her body, and at least a hundred spells hit her, and finally the two ice claws clapped and crushed her between their palms, interlocking their fingers and squeezing as hard as they could.

"No! Fantina!" Lily screamed in disbelief, the attacks on her petering off as Bellum diverted her attention to destroying her nemesis.

Bellum laughed malevolently. "You should be more worried about yourself, daughter, because once I finish Fantina off it's your turn! But I won't kill you, oh no, not yet anyway…I want you to exist long enough to watch as I torture your friends to death, drawing out their agony for _decades_, until they don't even know who they are anymore but will do anything to make the pain stop, even hurt you!"

Lily gasped. "Wh-what?"

"Ooh, yes, now that's a lovely idea!" Bellum cackled, seeing how much the idea shocked Lily. "Have the people you care for most do horrible things to you, an act of betrayal so heinous that it will destroy any last trace of hope and goodness within you! Up until now, I've been neglecting your sexual education, but perhaps I should remedy that oversight, seeing as I've been too lenient with you up until now and allowed you to get all these silly ideas. Perhaps I should have one of your _friends_ 'teach' you? Yes, I think that would be the perfect way to punish…eh?" Her hands were starting to shake and smoke, light starting to radiate from within them. "Wh-what? What is-"

The hands shattered with a tremendous explosion, waves of light and heat blasting outwards in every direction and causing Bellum to shriek as her mask was buffeted by the blast. A tremendous conflagration unfurled from the epicenter of the explosion, and at the epicenter of the epicenter was Fantina, eyes glowing a terrifying crimson and screaming as waves of fire were generated by her battered, trembling form. "BELLUM!" the Mismagius shouted. "ZAT…IS…ENOUGH!" Shaped by her will and indignation, the flames began to condense and take shape around her, turning into four great tongue of fire spreading away from her body. One tongue stretched out and downwards, curling on itself and swelling out at the end into a vague arrow shape. Two of them expanded on either side of her, flattening and widening out into tremendous sheets of flame. The last tongue curved upwards in an S-shape, a large bulge forming at its tip and splitting partially open like a mouth. More features began to appear as the flames refined themselves, until finally a gigantic fire dragon loomed above them, the heat from its form evaporating all the snow falling around them.

"In…credible." Lily whispered in awe, the tremendous, magnificent display of power resonating with something buried within her…some power hidden and long forgotten. It stirred, the great fire dragon connecting with it on a level Lily did not understand.

"No…how…how can this be?" Bellum cried.

"You are not ze only one wiz a few new tricks, Bellum!" Fantina snarled, flames flowing from her eyes. "You would make Lily suffer more by perverting 'er bonds wiz 'er friends into somezing as 'orrible as zat? Zis I cannot allow!" The dragon spread its wings, threw back its head and roared, flames gushing from its mouth and falling all over the place.

"No! NO!" Bellum screamed, regenerating her giant ice hands and firing a dizzying array of spells and energy blasts at the dragon. The bolts punched through the dragon's mass and caused embers and flames to drip all over, but Fantina seemed to regard those as inconsequential, driving her construct towards Bellum. Realizing her attacks were ineffective, the Froslass tried to flee, but she was too late; the dragon fell upon her, wrapping its wings and tail around her ice mask. As it started evaporating, Bellum desperately flew out of the top, trying to make a break for freedom, only to find her way blocked by the dragon's head. It opened its jaws and bellowed as it bore down on her, and Bellum screamed in terror as its mouth close shut around her…

And then it exploded. The blast was so strong it actually tore open a hole in the dark clouds, allowing the sun to shine through, but only for a brief moment before the clouds flowed back into place and sealed up again. As the smoke and fire started to fade away, a dazed and awestruck Lily flew over, looking for her mentor. "Fantina? Fantina, where are you? Are you all right? That was incredible, I've never seen anything like that! Can you teach me how to-"

"Ohhhhh…"

Lily paused, hearing Fantina's moan. Her heart (if she had one) fluttered in alarm. It most certainly did not sound like Fantina was all right. "Fantina?" _Where is she?_

_Over there,_ B said.

_Where? _Lily asked.

_Right there! I'm pointing at it!_

…_B, you don't have fingers. I can't see it._

_Oh for the love of…look, see that big clod of soot over there?_

_Yes._

_That's not soot._

…_Oh. Oh! Oh dear…_ "Fantina!" Lily cried as she floated over to what she had initially assumed to be a large clump of ash, but on closer examination was, in fact, Fantina. She looked terrible, most of her body scorched black, her hat destroyed and revealing that her hair was frizzled and askew, her jewelry shattered, and don't even get me _started_ on the makeup. "Fantina! What…what happened to you?"

"Ohhhh…I zink…I zink I used up a little too much power in zat last attack," Fantina said wearily. "Zat beating she gave me before'and didn't 'elp, eizzer. It's unsurprising I'm not in ze best shape. Still…zis is ze worst I've felt in a very long time."

"Fantina…" Lily whispered.

"Don't worry, Lily," Fantina said, managing a smile. "I'm not going to die or anyzing like zat, it's not _zat_ bad. I just need a nice, 'ot shower, several days of sleep, and a visit to my beautician (and maybe ze Mewrian Temple) and I'll be as good as new in no time."

"Fantina…" Lily said, her eyes softening. "Even if that's true, why…why did you do that? Why did you put yourself at such risk?"

"Because of you, dear. Isn't zat obvious?" Fantina said, looking surprised. "I know we 'aven't known each ozzer for very long, but a part of me feels like I've known you for most of my life. You are…very important to me, Lily. I promised I would not let Bellum get 'er 'ands on you again, and I am willing to do whatever it takes to prevent zat from 'appening, no matter ze cost to myself. What Bellum said, ze zings she said she'd do to you, zat she'd make your _friends_ do to you…I could not allow zat to happen. And now…it will not." She smiled weakly. "Not bad, eh?"

"…Fantina. Thank you," Lily said, eyes tearing up.

"Don't…mention it. I would do ze same for any of my daughters," Fantina said.

Lily's eyes widened. "Then…you mean-" She was interrupted when Fantina gasped and suddenly lunged forward, knocking her out of the way just an ice spear flew through the air and pierced her side. "NO! FANTINA!" Lily screamed as Fantina shrieked in pain.

"There's…only room for…one mother in her unlife…and that's…_me!_" Bellum rasped as she wobbly floated towards them, her body trembling with rage and exhaustion, most of her body burnt black. She'd lost a significant amount of her ectoplasm, and as a result most of the left side of her head was gone, leaving a gaping cavity trailing white particles, with other holes where large chunks of her had been blasted off dotted her body. It looked as if hatred and force of will were all that was holding her together. "You…try to steal her from me? Fool…no matter what, she will always belong to _me!"_

"Mother! You…_you_…RAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Lily shrieked, flames igniting around her as she formed the strongest fireball she'd ever mustered in her life and flung it at Bellum, exploding and flinging the Froslass back. "All my unlife, you've done nothing but make me miserable!" Lily screamed, flinging fireball after fireball at her. "You've tortured and beaten me, berated and belittled me, cruelly punished and toyed with me for your own sick amusement, created me as a tool to fulfill your plans to destroy the world, made it clear that I mean _nothing_ to you, was a tremendous disappointment, and convinced me that my existence was meaningless…and now that I've finally found some measure of happiness, you'll do everything you can to destroy it, kill my friends, kill the first person who's ever treated me like a _real_ mother should? You're horrible beyond words! I HATE YOU!"

"Ah…so…you finally have enough backbone to admit it?" Bellum croaked, laughing hoarsely even as more of her disintegrated. "It's about…damn time…"

"Shut up! This isn't something you should be happy about! I'm going to kill you! I'm going to remove you from my unlife forever, so that you'll never threaten the people I care about again!"

Bellum narrowed her eyes. "Oh…is that so?"

And that's when the doors to Shivhel's palace opened. Lily stiffened as a wave of cold and an aura of pure malice filled the air, an evil that was almost worse than her mother's…but not by very much. It was certainly more powerful, though. "No…it, it's Shivhel!" Lily gasped.

"That's…right…" Bellum cackled. "All the fire…you and your friends have…been throwing about has finally…gotten her attention. Now…she's going to kill them."

"No!" Lily cried.

Bellum laughed, then broke off and started choking, spitting up more bits of ectoplasm. "Y-yes," she wheezed. "Which means if you're going to do anything to stop her, you'll have to…go now. But if you do…I'll get away. I'll be free to continue my evil…and one day, I will…return and destroy everything…you cherish."

"I won't let that happen!" Lily said angrily, gathering what little power she had left for one final spell, one that would seal Bellum's fate forever.

"You can either…strike me down, or save your friends," Bellum said, a satisfied grin on her face. "Not…both. You don't have time. Which means…you have to make a choice. You can go to your friends…and let me escape, or…you can strike me down, and in doing so…abandon your friends, and begin your journey…to becoming just like me."

Lily hesitated. _…B?_

_Do you really need to ask me this, Lily?_ B asked. _You _know_ what you have to do._

…_Yes. I do,_ Lily said wearily. "This isn't over," she told Bellum, dispelling the curse she had been about to cast.

"I know," Bellum said smugly as Lily grabbed the wounded Fantina and flew towards the town below, not having enough strength left to open a portal. Bellum grinned sinisterly. "But it will be…soon enough…"

…

Lily rushed towards Dusty Ditch as fast as she could, dragging Fantina behind her. From the moans and grunts the elder Mismagius made, it was clear this swift travel wasn't doing any favors for her in her current condition, but Lily didn't have time to be gentle. She had to make it to her friends before it was too late. She was getting worried, however, that she wouldn't make it in time, since she could _feel_ the change in the air as magic began building up around Shivhel, indicating she was about to do something that boded ill for everyone. _I just need a few more seconds, and I'll be there, _she thought to herself, flying for her friends as fast as she could. It was pretty easy to tell where they were, since Maxthulhu's giant form stuck up like a sore thumb. _I don't know what I'll do when I get there, but I'm sure Leo will think of something, he's _always_ got a plan, and then together maybe we can-_

Unfortunately, Lily didn't make it in time. Bellum had been lying. Lily's decision whether or not to kill her would have made no impact on the events that were to follow, even if she had killed Bellum she would never have gotten back to her friends before it was too late. As a result, she could do nothing but look on in horror (and get flung backwards as the wave of pure cold slammed into her and Fantina) as Shivhel unleashed her power, freezing the entire town and quite a lot of the surrounding region in a thick sheet of ice. After she recovered from the shock and shook the icicles off her hat, she looked down in horror at the solid lake of ice covering the entirety of Dusty Ditch…including her friends. Not even Maxthulhu had been spared; the surface of the ice sheet was a few meters above the tips of the giant monster's ears. She just floated there for several minutes, speechless. "…No." Unceremoniously dropping Fantina on the ice, Lily zoomed over to the spot right over where her friends had been. She exhaled some fire breath to melt away some of the frost, allowing her to stare right down through the ice to the frozen Pokémon down below. They were just…standing there, as still as statues. It was almost impossible to tell that they _weren't_ statues, that they had once been living, breathing, talking, _loving-_

"No," she repeated again, body quivering and on the verge of tears. "Nonononono." They couldn't be dead. She refused to believe it. She tapped her badge. "Leo?" she said. There was no response. She tapped it again. "Leo? This is Lily. Please respond." There was no answer. She tapped her badge again. "Leo? This is Lily. Please…please respond." There was no answer. She started shaking harder. She tapped her badge once more. "Pikachu? Ash? Tiny? Briney? Sasha? Dawn? Le…Leo? Please…please, if there's somebody, anybody there, answer me!" There was no response. Unable to hold it back anymore, she burst into tears and collapsed onto the ice, feeling utterly alone. "They're all gone…"

_They're still alive, _B said.

_What? _Lily asked in surprise.

_They're still alive…but they won't be for much longer. A person can survive being frozen for a certain amount of time, but if it goes on for too long the chill sets in and their bodies stop working. That might not be a problem for someone like Briney or the Goldorringtons, since they don't have flesh or blood like most mortal Pokémon, and Sasha and everyone who's undead will be fine, albeit paralyzed indefinitely, but everyone else will die soon if you don't get them out of there, _B said.

_Then…then there's still a chance?_ Lily asked hopefully.

_Of course there is,_ B said. _Wherever there's life, there's hope._

_That's right! And I suppose if they die, I could always use necromancy to keep their souls close to me until I can create some new bodies for them through alchemy, _Lily said. _Or turn them into Ghosts like me._

…_Uh, yeah. I guess that's an option too…_ B said slowly.

"Uhhhhh…Lily…why am I lying on an ice lake?" Fantina asked weakly, regaining consciousness. "Are we at ze Yuki'imi estate already? Zat was fast…"

Lily gasped. "Fantina! Omigosh, I'm so sorry!" She flew over to the severely injured Mismagius and cast as many healing spells as she could to try and restore the elder witch to a better state of health. When she was finished, Fantina didn't look much better, but she didn't look worse, either.

"Ow…my everyzing hurts…" Fantina grunted. "What…'appened? Where are we?"

"Dusty Ditch," Lily said. "Shivhel's covered the entire town in ice! Everyone is trapped down there!"

Fantina gasped, becoming more alert. "What? Even my daughter? _Sacre bleu! _We must get zem out of zere!"

"Exactly," Lily said. "But…how are we going to do that? I don't think either of us have enough strength at the moment to melt this."

"…'ang on. Zere might be somezing in my inventory…" Fantina murmured, mentally sorting through the myriad items she had stashed in her pocket dimension.

Unfortunately, she wasn't going to get the chance to use any of them. At that moment, Shivhel appeared, descending from her mountain palace and gracefully landing on the ice, an extra layer spreading out from her feet and covering up the hole Lily had made in the frost. The two witches feebly floated into the air before the ice could reach them, not wanting to be frozen, too. Shivhel frowned at them. "You are not frozen, like the others."

"No, we aren't," Lily said.

"That is something I shall remedy, then," Shivhel said calmly. There was a clunk as Fantina dropped from the air and landed on the ice, frozen solid.

"No! Fantina!" Lily cried.

Shivhel smiled coolly. "The fire was strong in her…but in her condition, she had no chance of resisting me. Nor do you." Before Lily could protest, she too was frozen solid.

"Ah…excellent…I had hoped you would do that," Bellum grunted as she slowly floated into view, looking at the frozen figures of her nemesis and daughter with relish.

Shivhel frowned. "Bellum. You are injured."

"Yes, I hadn't noticed," the Froslass grunted. "I don't suppose you could…?"

"Very well." There was a gust of wind, and snow swirled around Bellum, flying into the gaping holes in her body and filling them up. The snow solidified and melded with the Froslass's flesh, repairing all the damage she had taken from battle.

Bellum sighed in relief and stretched out her arms. "Ahhhh. That's much better. Thank you, Your Majesty."

"Think nothing of it. It is the least I could do for the one who summoned me here. Niflheim has been in need of expansion for quite some time, if we are ever to have a chance of defeating our eternal foe, Muspelheim," Shivhel said.

"And I shall help you to expand your realm even further," Bellum promised.

"Very good. It is a pity you are already beholden to Giratina, or else I might make a servant of you," Shivhel said.

"To be honest, you were my first choice for an evil master—what with the ice theme, something I myself am quite fond of—but I wanted a deity with a bit more…power," Bellum said.

"And even imprisoned, Giratina is still far mightier than I," Shivhel said resignedly. "Well, we shall see how much longer that lasts. If you were ever to change your mind, though, my door is always open to you."

"I shall take that into consideration, but it is unlikely. Giratina does not look favorably upon those who abandon her service," Bellum said.

"Neither do I," Shivhel said. "In any event, it is done. All resistance has been crushed. This realm belongs to me now. All warm-bloods have been defeated, and every last trace of heat in the land has been destroyed."

"Er, yes, speaking of defeat…I believe a few of my cohorts got frozen along with those meddlers when you unleashed your power. I don't suppose you could release them?" Bellum asked politely.

Shivhel frowned. "They failed you. All of them were horribly beaten by their enemies, and would have perished had I not intervened, freezing them for all time."

'True, but I can still make some use of them, despite their shortcomings," Bellum said.

"Very well," Shivhel said. Some of her hair twitched, and suddenly Marianne, Paul, and Articuno appeared, all of them frozen in blocks of ice.

Bellum made a face when she saw how badly injured they all were. "My, those fools really did a number on them, didn't they? Then again, I suppose I'm one to talk."

"Do you wish me to heal them, too?" Shivhel offered.

"No, I'll let them take care of that themselves. Think of it as a lesson for failing at their task," Bellum said, transporting the three Nihilators elsewhere in a flurry of snowflakes.

Shivhel nodded approvingly. "Precisely what I would have done. You really would make a good fit for my household. Were I not concerned for the…potential repercussions of stealing you from Giratina, I might have considered just taking you against your will. You would have grown to like it…eventually."

"…Er…yes, well, it's a good thing you're concerned about those repercussions, then," Bellum said awkwardly, not liking the way Shivhel was looking at her.

"In minutes, the cold will set in and kill the intruders. Are there any others you wish to remove from my realm, to do as you wish?" Shivhel asked.

"To be honest, I'd love to take all of them back and torture all of them to death for daring to oppose me, but that's not really practical, and as an ice witch myself I can appreciate the cruelty of letting them freeze to death," Bellum said. "There are perhaps three I desire to take with me, at your leave."

"Which ones?" Shivhel asked. "Name them, and they are yours."

"That giant behemoth beneath us, for one thing. I want to study him…find out how he was able to change sizes and forms so quickly, and why I sense so much…_chaos_ swirling around him," Bellum said.

"Very well. Do you have a place where he can be stored safely?" Shivhel asked.

"I have a cavern in my lair designed for just such a purpose," Bellum said, gesturing and causing Maxthulhu to vanish from beneath the ice.

"And the other two?" Bellum asked.

"My daughter Lily, of course," Bellum said, smiling cruelly at Lily, whose eyes stared at her in terror from beneath the shell of ice imprisoning her. "She and I have some…unfinished business to settle."

"And the last one will be your nemesis, I suppose," Shivhel said.

"No, I'm going to kill her right here," Bellum said. "I'd love to take her back to my lair and have her at my mercy, but realistically that probably wouldn't end well. So I'll just end her unlife now and get it over with."

Shivhel frowned. "Then who is the third you wish to take?"

"One of the two Lucarios. The one not wearing armor, I believe. Not only is he carrying some artifacts my organization desires, but my leader wishes him to be brought back either alive or as a captured soul," Bellum explained.

"All right," Shivhel said, causing Ash to appear in a block of ice, his body frozen in the act of bringing his staff down, a look of fury and culmination etched on his face. "I do not sense any artifacts on his person, however, other than his staff and gloves. They possess the power of Aura."

Bellum frowned. "Is that so? No star-shaped jewels, no map?"

"No. If he were carrying items of that description, I would know," Shivhel said.

Bellum shook her head in puzzlement. "Well that's peculiar…what of the others? Are any of them carrying items like that?"

"No. Several of them are carrying other objects of power—including the Plates of Arceus and the robes of a high priestess of Darkrai—but nothing like that," Shivhel reported.

"That's…odd. Oh, ah, speaking of the Plates, I don't suppose-" Bellum asked hopefully.

"Bellum, I am grateful to you for summoning me, but my generosity has its limits," Shivhel said, an annoyed look forming on her face.

"Right, sorry, forget I said anything," Bellum said quickly, seeing Shivhel was growing impatient and knowing when not to push her limits. Oh well, no big loss, it wasn't as if she could use any of the Plates herself anyway. Stupid single-Type limitations… "Wait, what was that about robes of Darkrai?"

"The Absol is wearing the garments befitting a high priestess of the god of death and darkness. They are enchanted to prevent her from dying…which means she will remain alive beneath the ice, forever. I shall enjoy watching her go mad," Shivhel said cruelly.

"But…but that can't be right!" Bellum protested. "The Absol is a member of Team Aurabolt, who are opposed to we Nihilators! And we were able to force Darkrai to sign a contract stating he wouldn't lift a finger, directly or indirectly, against us! How could she be wearing a garment of office in his priesthood? Are you certain it's genuine?"

"Of course," Shivhel said, looking offended and annoyed. "Do you doubt I would know such magic if I sensed it?"

"N-no, of course not," Bellum said quickly. "But if it's genuine, that means she's a real priestess, because otherwise she wouldn't be able to wear it, but that means…Darkrai must have found some way out of his contract!" She snarled. "Oblivion's Shadow will not be pleased to hear this…thank you for telling me, Shivhel, this is momentous and…troubling news for my organization."

Shivhel shrugged. "If you say so. It means nothing to me."

"Aren't you worried Darkrai might exact some retribution against you for incapacitating one of his servants?" Bellum asked.

"It's not like I've harmed her. As I've said, she is still alive. And as a god of nightmares, I see no reason he would not reap a great harvest from the madness that sprouts in her mind as she remains conscious but trapped in an immobilized body for the rest of eternity," Shivhel said indifferently. "And in any event…I am the mistress of winter. The darkness holds no terror for me."

"Very well. But back to those objects I'm looking for…these artifacts are notoriously difficult to sense magically, I don't suppose you might have missed-" Bellum suggested.

Shivhel shot her a furious look. "Do not insult me, Bellum. In this place, my power is absolute. If they held such items, I would know."

"My apologies, great Queen," Bellum said quickly, trying to placate the angry elemental. "I'm under a lot of pressure to retrieve those items, I just wanted to be certain."

"Very well," Shivhel said, looking slightly mollified by Bellum's apology.

"But if they aren't here, then where…ah! Perhaps on the train?" Bellum suggested.

Shivhel concentrated for a moment, and then frowned in alarm. "That is…odd."

"What is?" Bellum asked.

"I cannot sense anything from the train. It is as if it isn't there…but I _know_ it is. The ice tells me so," Shivhel said, looking perplexed.

"Well, the Enchanted Express is covered in all sorts of protective spells. Perhaps some of them are enough to shield its innards from even your senses, O Mistress of Winter?" Bellum suggested. "But not for long, of course…"

"No, not for long indeed," Shivhel said angrily. "That means there may still be some sources of heat burning in there, warm bodies blighting my perfect cold! I shall crush that vehicle until it splits open, and extinguish any lingering sparks of life inside!"

"And I shall retrieve the map and Star Badges from the remains," Bellum said eagerly. "But before we do that, there's one last thing I need to take care of." She turned to the frozen Fantina, an evil grin forming on her face as she created an ice spear. "Goodbye, old friend. I shall not mourn your passing, save for a mild disappointment that things will no longer be quite as _interesting_ with you gone. Take solace in knowing that I will send your daughters to join you eventually…but not until I'm through with them, which will take a _very_ long time indeed." Cackling at the look of rage and horror in her oldest enemy's eyes, Bellum drew back her spear, ready to kill Fantina.

Meanwhile, inside the Enchanted Express…

"We're all gonna die!" the Magneton engineer screamed as he wildly flew about the engine room.

"Dammit, we're completely ice-locked. I can't get enough power from the engine to break us free," the Aron engineer said in frustration, wiping away some sweat.

"We're all gonna die!" the Magneton engineer screamed as he wildly flew about the engine room.

"Well keep trying, if we can't break the ice, we're going to be stuck here forever…and the passengers are going to be stuck out _there_!" the Ampharos chief engineer said, gesturing at one of the windows, which was completely covered in frost, making it impossible to see what was outside. Not that there _was_ anything to see out there but ice, ice, and more ice. The walls groaned ominously as the pressure of the glacier they were buried under exerted itself on the train's hull, and everyone looked up anxiously, worried they would shatter and the ice would come crashing down on them at any second.

"We're all gonna die!" the Magneton engineer screamed as he wildly flew about the engine room.

"Isn't there anything we can do?" the Grumpig guard asked.

The Ampharos chief engineer shook her head angrily. "We're using up all the train's power just keeping the shields up, we can't afford to divert any to smashing our way out of here. Any magic the rest of us could muster up will never be enough to make a difference, not against this much ice."

"And even if we could get out…there's still the one who made it to worry about," the Gastly conductor said nervously.

The Abra waiter nodded soberly. "None of us would last more than a second against Shivhel. If the passengers couldn't, what good would we be?"

"We're all gonna die!" the Magneton engineer screamed as he wildly flew about the engine room.

"Dammit!" the Haunter guard said, punching a wall. "_We're_ the ones who should have been out there to begin with! It's our place to fight to protect the passengers, not the other way around! And now we're stuck in here, unable to do a damn thing!"

"Oh, we won't be stuck in here for long," the Aron said pessimistically.

"Why do you say that?" the Grumpig asked.

"Well, it's only a matter of time before Shivhel realizes we're still alive and tears the train apart to kill us," the Aron said. "I doubt our defenses will last long against an entity of her caliber."

"Maybe she won't notice," the Gastly said desperately. "Or care. I mean, we're no threat to her, right?"

"Doesn't matter. She hates us all anyway because we're beings from a place where it's not always cold, which means we have to die," the Abra said. "And even if that weren't the case and she ignored us, we could only survive down here for so long until the power failed or the food replication spells stopped working. Then we'd be forced to feast on each other to survive."

"We're all gonna die!" the Magneton engineer screamed as he wildly flew about the engine room.

"…Wow. That's really morbid," said the disturbed Gastly.

"Yeah, I know," the Abra said. "I've already decided who I'll eat first. Don't worry, though, you're off the menu since I can't eat ectoplasm."

The Gastly sweatdropped. "…Ah. That's good to know."

"Wait, ectoplasm…maybe I could phase through the hull and out of the ice, go for help-" the Haunter started.

"From where?" the Aron asked. "There's nowhere and nobody you could go to that could possibly get here in time to make a difference. Not before we're all dead, anyway."

"I'm not sure you could pass through this ice, anyway," the Grumpig commented. "It feels too…malignant. I don't think you could get very far."

The Haunter sighed in resignation. "Yeah, I guess, but…but we can't do _nothing_!"

"What else _can_ we do?" the Abra asked.

"We're all gonna die!" the Magneton engineer screamed as he wildly flew about the engine room. More than a few of them were starting to share his sentiment.

Not the Ampharos, though. "Shut up, already!" she yelled, throwing a wrench at him.

It smacked into his head, making him stop. "Ow…" he whined. "That was uncalled for!"

"No it wasn't," the Ampharos said. The others nodded in agreement, and the Magneton scowled at them.

"By the way, I've been meaning to ask: what's with that big ball of fire in the middle of the room, and the fiery things surrounding it that look like Duchess Fantina, Rebecca, and Sister Lilandra?" the Abra asked, pointing at the conflagration in the middle of the room.

"Yeah, it's making things a bit too hot in here," the Grumpig said, wiping away sweat.

"Oh, that's a spell they cast before going out to fight that's supposed to summon a being who'll defeat the forces of Niflheim and save the day," the Aron said.

"Oh," the Abra said. "So…why hasn't it done that yet?"

"Because it's a worthless piece of crap," the Magneton said.

"It is not!" the Aron said.

"It is too! Otherwise, it would have stopped all this from happening!" the Magneton said.

"And stopped taking up so much room in my engine room," the Ampharos said in exasperation. "It just keeps getting bigger and bigger! If it's going to do something, can't it just go and _do_ it already?"

Abruptly, the three fiery effigies dissolved and flew into the giant ball of fire, the Flame Plate flipped into the air and vanished into the sphere, and the lines of the summoning diagram burst into flame and vanished. The fireball swelled up and burst upwards in a tremendous pillar of fire, smashing through the ceiling and the hundreds of feet of ice above it, leaving a gaping hole and a tunnel to the surface in its place that started dripping water and snow into the engine room and causing everyone to feel cold and damp. They all stared upwards in disbelief for several seconds. "Huh," the Abra said finally. "I guess it heard you."

"About time," the Magneton said.

"MY ROOF!" the Ampharos screamed.

"You know, I think I miss it already, it's kind of cold with it gone," the Grumpig said.

Up on the surface, Shivhel and Bellum stiffened as there was a massive explosion and a giant fireball erupted from beneath the ice. "No…" Shivhel whispered. "It can't be!"

"I, ah, don't suppose that's the train's engine exploding, is it?" Bellum asked hopefully, alarmed by the waves of heat and incredible magical power coming out of the fireball. It was even hotter than that fire dragon Fantina had conjured up.

"No…there is only one being it could possibly be…but he should not be here! And not this _strong!_ How can this be possible?" Shivhel shrieked, actually looking worried, which made Bellum worried as well.

The fireball arced through the air and came crashing down nearby, releasing a tremendous wave of fire that erupted outwards towards them. Shivhel quickly raised a shield of ice that protected them from the brunt of the flames, but the heat still washed over them, causing the Ice-types to hiss in pain as their bodies sizzled. The flames completely destroyed several of the top layers of ice making up the glacier, as well as melting the ice encasing Lily, Fantina, and Ash. "RAAAAHHHhuh?" Ash stammered in confusion as he brought his staff down on the partially melted ice, realized he wasn't fighting Articuno anymore, and looked around in confusion. "What…where am I?"

"Ash! You're alive!" Lily said in relief, tackling him.

"Uh, so it would seem…I didn't know I was dead, or at risk of dying, though…" said the very bewildered Ash. "What…happened? Where are Articuno and everyone else? And why's there a freaky half-corpse Jynx over there and a big ball of fire?"

"Zat 'alf-corpse is Shiv'el, ruler of Nifl'eim," Fantina said wearily as she weakly floated over. "She grew tired of your friends defeating 'er minions, so decided to put you all in deep-freeze and let you die of ze cold. 'Owever, ze summoning spell Lily, Rebecca and I set up earlier 'as finally paid off, and now a being 'as arrived who can 'elp us end zis unnatural winter once and for all!"

"…Oh," Ash said, only marginally understanding a little more now. "But…then what about Articuno? Where is she? I was just about to kill her before we got frozen."

"…I'm sorry, Ash, she got away. All of the Nihilators did," Lily said apologetically.

Ash sagged despondently. "What? You mean after everything, she _escaped?_ But…"

"Don't worry," Fantina said. "Zere's always next time."

"…But I was _so close._ There wasn't going to _be_ a next time…" Ash moaned.

"Well, it looks like there'll have to be one," Lily said. "And when it happens, all of us will be there to help you."

"Yeah, I guess…omigosh! I forgot, the others!" Ash gasped, feeling incredibly guilty that the condition of his friends had not been the first thing to come to his mind. He could only barely feel Tiny through their bond, which set his heart to racing in panic. "Where are they? Are they okay?"

"They're frozen under the ice too," Lily said, pointing beneath Ash's feet. "The only reason you're here is because Bellum thought you might have the Star Badges and map. Well, and because Oblivion's Shadow wants you for some reason."

Ash winced. "Yeah, he's kinda fixated on me…well, good thing the Star Badges and map are still in the train. And the others?"

"Zey should be fine, now zat my good friend is 'ere," Fantina said, smiling happily at the fireball that was filling Bellum and Shivhel with so much alarm. "Wiz 'is power, Shiv'el and all zis ice will be sent packing in no time!"

"Oh, good," Ash said in relief. He frowned as the fireball resolved itself into a figure that started to stand up, the immense heat given off by his form melting a deep crater in the ice. "Just who is this guy, anyway?"

"Ze Swarzy One, Old Black, Supreme Ruler of Muspelheim and Lord of Flames, ze inestimable and unmatched-" Fantina said excitedly.

"SURTRIT!" Shivhel shrieked furiously as the flames died down somewhat but continued burning around the figure, as if they were a _part_ of him, which didn't seem that unlikely considering who he was. "What are you doing here?"

"I was summoned, much like you," Surtrit said, grinning and showing a long mouth full of soot-blackened fangs. Surtrit was a fifteen-foot tall giant who loomed over even Shivhel, a humanoid Houndoom standing on his hind legs with so many muscles that even Bruno looked scrawny in comparison to him. His thick double-jointed legs ended in clawed hooves with tufts of hair that looked like flames (and probably were) rippling around his heels, knees, and hips, steam emanating from them as they melted the ice they were standing on to the point that they were actually starting to sink through them. A long tail ending in a flaming barbed tip whipped through the air behind him, burning the air as much as the ice. Immense flaming shackles were wrapped around his wrists and ankles, burning spikes and rubies studding their surface. His massive hands had five digits, each of which ended in a very long claw, one of which was holding a flaming sword as long as he was tall that was so bright it was as if the Sun had been transformed into a blade, illuminating the darkness of the wintry realm. A bead necklace with several burning skulls hung around his neck, the teeth of the skulls chattering as if still alive. His horns were pitch-black and incredibly long, hanging over the back of his head and going down to his waist, with a pair of smaller-forward facing horns growing from around where his ears would have been and similar spikes growing from his shoulders. A long mane of literally burning red hair fell down his back, flickering and writhing and adding to the aura of flames surrounding him. Similar flames burned on the underside of his jaw and around the sides of his head, like some kind of beard. His eyes were completely made of crimson fire, with embers and flames licking out from their edges. And on top of that, the majority of his body was covered in skin-tight crimson plate armor with flame motifs covering it, flames emitting from vents placed all over it, and a big flame symbol embossed on his chest. "But while you were brought here to freeze this world…I was brought here to send you packing."

"NO!" Shivhel cried.

"Y-you! You did this!" Bellum screamed, whirling on the unfrozen Fantina.

The Mismagius smirked wearily. "Zat's right. You didn't zink I'd come into a place like zis wizout an ace up my sleeve, did you?"

"You don't have sleeves," Ash said. "Or arms."

"An ace up my 'at, zen," Fantina said.

"Damnation…I should have killed you when I had the chance!" Bellum snarled.

"It wouldn't 'ave made a difference. Surtrit's summoning was underway before we even got 'ere. Killing me wouldn't 'ave stopped 'im from arriving," Fantina said. "Nor will it send 'im back to Muspel'eim, in case you were getting any ideas."

"I don't care…I'm going to kill you anyway!" Bellum roared furiously, forming an ice spear and lunging forwards. She found her way blocked by a wall of fire, causing her to yelp and back away. "Wh-what?"

"I'd appreciate it if you didn't harm Fantina in my presence," Surtrit growled. "Aside from the little fact that I owe her for summoning me, she and I have a…history, and I would not like that history to end just yet."

"…Wait," Lily said slowly, looking from Fantina to Surtrit and back. "Did you two-"

"'e's an old flame," Fantina said, causing them to facefault at the terrible pun.

Bellum gnashed her teeth in frustration, unwilling to believe that she'd been thwarted again. "No…NO! I was so close! So close! It can't end like this!"

"Nor will it," Shivhel said, stepping forward. "I do not care that you somehow managed to be summoned here, Surtrit. You do not belong here. This realm is mine, now, and fire has no place in it! Return to Muspelheim, before I send you back there by force!"

"Ha! I'd like to see you try," Surtrit sneered, slinging his sword over his shoulder.

"In this place, my power is at its peak! Your flames are nothing but a brief hiccup, an aberration that will swiftly be buried beneath my glacial onslaught!" Shivhel snarled.

"If we were in _Niflheim,_ yeah, that might be the case," Surtrit said with a grin that seemed to imply he didn't really believe it. "But we aren't in Niflheim, just a place you've made up to look like it. And aside from that, I have a little advantage that you can't beat. These mortal mages used the Flame Plate to summon me…and with its power fueling my fire, there is nothing you can throw at me that I cannot burn down!"

"Oh, so _that's_ why his armor looked familiar…" Ash murmured. "So…he doesn't usually look like that?"

"No, 'e usually doesn't wear anyzing at all," Fantina said with an…odd expression on her face. Almost wistful. Lily shuddered.

"No matter how strong the flame, all fires are eventually extinguished by the endless cold of an ice age!" Shivhel cried, calling upon all her power and releasing a tremendous wave of freezing energy outward just as she had before, intending to freeze Surtrit in his tracks. Ash and the others tensed, worried they were about to be frozen again…

But they needn't have bothered. Surtrit just _blew_ on the ice wave rushing towards him, and it dissipated instantly. "Wh-what?" Shivhel cried in disbelief.

"Ice ages may be cold and dark and long-lasting, but like every winter it has to end sometime. After all…the Sun will always rise again, to thaw the snow and bring forth the Spring!" Surtrit said, forming a ball of fire in one hand, tossing it into the air, then swinging his sword at it, sending it flying high into the sky.

"No!" Shivhel cried, realizing what he was about to do, even if the others didn't. Frost and snowflakes swirling around her and she fired a tremendous bolt of ice at the rising fireball, trying to extinguish it.

Surtrit opened his mouth and belched out a torrential stream of flames that surged through the air and collided with the ice beam, creating an explosion powerful enough to shake the ground and cause the ice to start cracking. Ash looked at the ice beneath his feet uneasily and started looking around for more solid footing. "Sorry, bitch, but I think it's time this Fimbulvinter came to an end!" Surtrit quipped.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" both Shivhel and Bellum screamed as the fireball reached the snow clouds above them and exploded. A tremendous wave of fire blasted out from the orb, burning away the clouds and causing them to recede, allowing the Sun to shine down on Dusty Ditch again. Ash, Lily, and Fantina sighed gratefully as the sunlight washed over their skin, warming their cold-numbed bodies. The light had an effect on everything else it fell on, too, but it was far less beneficial. The snow and ice began to rapidly melt, thawing so quickly that it went straight from a solid to a gas without bothering to become a liquid. The various icy mountains foreign to the area that had seemed so towering and ominous before were now looking somewhat hazy, almost translucent, like a mirage. Shivhel screamed in agony as the sunlight touched the blue skin of her intact half, causing it to burn…literally!

"Whoa," Ash said as Shivhel desperately tried to put out the flames. "Is she a vampire?"

"No, she just 'as a very delicate complexion," Fantina said.

"My spell! My beautiful spell! Do you have any idea how many people I had to kill to pull it off?" Bellum screamed.

"The entire population of a small town?" Lily guessed.

"Precisely! Not that I didn't enjoy it, but still! It took a lot of time and effort, and now I'm going to have to do it all over again!" Bellum snarled.

They started. "What?" Ash cried.

"What, you didn't think it would end so easily, did you? If you win here, there's nothing to stop me from calling the Fimbulvinter again, and again, and again, as many times as it takes until I create my winter wonderland!" Bellum said.

"You will not even have to do that much…" Shivhel growled as she managed to put out the worst of the flames, though her skin was charred now and no longer as flawlessly beautiful…which made her look slightly more symmetrical. "As soon as I defeat this buffoon, I can call back the winter snows…I will not be bested! This realm is mine, and shall remain so, no matter how hot your flame burns it away!"

"Yeah? Well, I can burn it _really_ hot at the moment," Surtrit said, raising his sword into the air. "Wanna see?" He drove it into the ice, sending lines of fire racing out in every direction. The ice trembled and cracked, splitting apart under the heat of the flames. The ground rumbled, and pillars of fire punched their way out of the ice sheet, roaring into the heavens and causing Bellum and Shivhel to flinch as heat beset them on all sides.

The ice elemental roared in fury and unleashed waves of cold in every direction, putting out the flames…but the damage was done; the ice sheet was collapsing, each chunk that split off from the rest dissolving in a cloud of water vapor before it could hit the ground, which was rapidly becoming clearer as more and more of the ice encasing it melted away. It wasn't long before the frozen heroes were exposed, blinking and looking around in surprise and bewilderment as the enchanted ice melted off of them and allowed them to move and live again. "Whoa," said a dazed Looker. "What happened?"

"Whatever it was, I think it made me come down with something," Zippo sneezed, releasing a jet of flames that set Diane's hair on fire. "Whoops! Sorry!"

"Aaaaahhh! You idiot! Do you have any idea how much time I invest every morning into making my hair look this good?" Diane screamed as Salty quickly put her hair out with the Splash Plate

"Um…a lot?" Zippo guessed uneasily.

"YES! BUTLER!" Diane shrieked.

"On it," Butler said, cracking his knuckles and advancing on Zippo.

"Waaaahhh! Sparky, help!" Zippo screamed, hiding behind the knight.

Sparky sighed. "Butler, please don't hurt Zippo. We need him…for some reason."

The Dusclops sighed reluctantly. "Very well."

"Don't worry, it's not zat bad," Bow assured Diane as the Kirlia looked at her reflection in a conjured mirror in distress.

Diane sighed as she patted her burned hair. "Thank you for saying so, milady, but I know you're just trying to be nice-" She gasped and dropped the mirror. "Milady! You…you've evolved! When did this happen?"

"While battling Marianne," Bow said.

"Congratulations, milady! Your mother will be so pleased!" Diane said excitedly, forgetting all about her hair dilemma for the moment.

"Then does that mean Bellum's spawn is finally dead?" Butler asked hopefully.

Bow sighed. "No…I'm afraid not…I almost 'ad 'er, but when ze ice zawed, she was gone…vanished, wizout a trace."

"Oh," Butler said, seeing how disappointed Bow was and sharing in her unhappiness. "I am sorry to hear that, milady."

"As am I, since it means my cake remains unavenged…" Diane said darkly. They stared at her. "Oh, uh, and your friend too, milady. Can't forget her."

"No…" Bow said sadly. "I certainly can't."

"Aaaahhhh! The sun! It burnssss!" Vladimir screamed as he and the other vampires were exposed to the sunlight, causing them to burst into flames.

"Here you go," Leo said, handing them umbrellas and then spraying all of them with Water Gun to put out the flames.

"Ohhhh, thank you," Vladimir said in relief as he huddled beneath the umbrella, using it to shield himself from the sun.

"Yeah, thanks…wait, why did you have more than one umbrella, anyway?" Dean asked as Bob whimpered and cowered behind him, not wanting to leave the umbrella's protective shadow.

"In case the first one got ruined, of course," Leo said.

Pikachu sighed. "Of course…"

Sasha shivered and shook herself off, although her cloak wasn't dampened in the slightest. "Well, that was…unpleasant…" Unlike most of the others, she'd been completely aware and still alive while trapped in the ice…unable to move, or breathe, or see. It had been incredibly uncomfortable, to say the least.

_Don't worry, if you were in there too long I'd have stopped your heart to spare you going insane,_ Darkrai told her.

…_Thank you?_ Sasha said uncertainly.

"Little buddy? Little buddy?" Sam called, looking around worriedly upon noticing Max was gone. "Has anyone seen Max? He was just here a second ago…"

"That's odd…" George said, starting to get worried as well. "He was kind of hard to miss. Where could he have gone?"

Briney frowned as he expanded his telepathy to cover the valley. "I don't sense him anywhere. Which is odd, because that mess of a mind of his is unmistakable…"

"Max…where are you?" Sam wondered anxiously.

"I'm sure he'll turn up eventually," George said reassuringly.

"Yeah, unless he got kidnapped by bad guys who want to steal his brain for a nefarious plot to take over the universe," Leo said.

"Again," Zippo added.

"Not. Helping," Sam said through clenched teeth.

"Son, are you all right?" Goldor asked Buck in concern.

"Y-yeah," Buck said, wobbling uncertainly. "But I think my body's become kinda brittle due to all the cold."

"Oh dear…if that's the case, this sudden influx of heat could cause us to crack," Silvia said, examining her body in concern. She screamed when she saw what looked like a tiny hairline fracture, but was relieved to discover it was only a hair. Which led her to wonder where it came from, since she didn't have hair…

"Well, don't worry boy, if you crack up, we'll rebuild you…we have the pottery!" Goldor assured Buck. The Baltoy stared at him blankly, not getting it.

"That's a terrible pun," Silvia said.

"It was a literary reference, womon!" Goldor snapped. "Is it my fault if you aren't well-read enough to have gotten it?"

"I got it," Leo said.

"Me too," Zippo said. "I love that series!"

_Yeah, me too. I especially like his portrayal of Death, though I'd like to think I'm a little less gloomy and lonely than that guy,_ Darkrai said, confusing Sasha.

"Is everyone here and accounted for?" Sparky asked worriedly as he looked around, counting heads to make sure nobody else had disappeared.

"I think all of us who were here before still are except for Max," Pikachu said. "I can't say that I miss him much, but it is a little worrying that he up and vanished…" He frowned as he recalled that Marianne had vanished too, just before Bow could kill her. This left him to wonder if Dawn had managed to kill Paul and Ash had managed to take care of Articuno…and if any of them had been affected by Shivhel's attack, and subsequently freed by whatever had just happened to them.

"Well, at least the rest of us are here," Rose said brightly.

"And happy to be alive!" Lu agreed, stretching out the kinks in her back. While the cold hadn't been much of a problem for her—since she was an Ice type, she could have hibernated indefinitely in it—she was happy to be able to move again.

"Yes, and now maybe my children inside the frost giant corpse will mature sooner, since they won't have to hibernate to wait out the cold weather anymore!" Happy said.

"Um…good. That's great," Salty said awkwardly. "We're all happy for you."

"We're really okay?" Rebecca said in amazement, touching herself all over. "I'm not just hallucinating to try and keep from going insane due to being buried beneath hundreds of tons of ice for all time?"

"Nope! I told you we would be okay!" Cherry said cheerfully.

Rebecca sighed. "Yeah, I guess you did…you were right again…as usual."

"So…what exactly happened?" Bruno said in confusion. "The last thing I remember is Shivhel's attack rushing towards us and freezing us solid…and now we're fine, and the sun is shining, and there's a big fiery guy over there facing off with Shivhel."

"Big fiery guy? Where?" Pikachu asked.

"Over there," Bruno said, pointing.

They looked, and dropped their jaws in amazement when they saw the armored blazing elemental. "Whoa, that's so cool!" Todd gasped, suitably impressed. Naturally, he took a picture. He frowned when he saw that the picture was incredibly blurry due to all the light emanating from Surtrit's flaming body. "Darn, looks like I'll have to put the light filter on." He put on some sunglasses and took another picture.

"Wow, he looks even more badass than you, Captain!" Buck said.

"What? He does not! I could take him!" Briney blustered.

"I'm sure you could," Pikachu said soothingly. "But, uh, let's not put that to the test, especially since he's probably the one responsible for thawing us out, okay?"

"…Bah. Fine. 'Snot like I need to prove anything to anyone…" Briney grumbled.

_So, that is Surtrit,_ Sasha thought. _Are you at odds with him too?_

_Eh…it depends,_ Darkrai said.

_What do you mean?_ Sasha asked.

_Well, Surtrit is an embodiment of fire, and like fire, can be kind of capricious. One minute you can be palling around with him, hanging out and drinking nectar, the next he burns your house down and seems confused that you've got a problem with that,_ Darkrai said.

_Why would he burn my home down?_ Sasha asked in alarm.

_Pure whimsy. He's not a bad guy, overall—well, unless he feels like it—just sort of…unpredictable, like fire itself,_ Darkrai said.

…_And we've called upon someone like this for _help?Sasha cried in disbelief.

_Don't worry, if there's one thing you can always count on Surtrit to do, its fight Shivhel. They have a rivalry that's lasted for billions of years, and even predates the Crisis Wars…of course; they were both a bit more casual about it back then. Most of us were, to be honest,_ Darkrai admitted sadly. _War does things to a person…terrible things. Sometimes the scars it leaves never heal properly. For a while it actually looked like Cresselia and I were going to break up over some of the lingering doubts and resentments that conflict stirred up…we were able to patch things up between us eventually, but, well…there's a reason we have palaces on opposite sides of the Moon rather than living under one roof like in the old days…_

_That's terrible,_ Sasha said, surprised to find herself feeling sympathetic for her master, who rarely talked about issues in his personal life. She couldn't imagine waking up every morning and not finding her mate lying next to her… _War sounds dreadful. I hope I never have to participate in one._

…_Heh. You haven't figured it out yet, Sasha?_ Darkrai said sadly. _You already are._ She grimaced, realizing the truth of this. _Oh, and on an unrelated note, I think Bellum's figured out you're working for me._

_What? How?_ Sasha cried in alarm.

_Well, in retrospect, perhaps you shouldn't have chosen to wear garments denoting you as someone who, you know, works for me. Sort of gives it away,_ Darkrai said.

…_It didn't occur to you either! Don't pin this on me!_ Sasha snarled.

_Yeah, that's true. That's hindsight for you, always 20:20, _Darkrai admitted.

_But this is terrible! Weren't you relying on the Nihilators never figuring out you were backing us to protect Lady Cresselia from harm?_ Sasha asked.

_Well…yeah, I kinda did, but…look, it's no big deal. I'll sort everything out somehow,_ Darkrai said.

_How?_ Sasha demanded.

_Look, I'm your deity, okay? Just trust me on this!_ Darkrai said._ In any event, it's nothing you need to worry about, it's my and Cresselia's asses on the line, not yours._

_Didn't you cast death spells on us that would kill us if we revealed your involvement?_ Sasha asked.

_Yes, but someone figured it out all by themselves, so they never triggered. Guess I should remove those now, since they're sort of redundant,_ Darkrai said.

_I would appreciate that,_ Sasha said. _I will inform the others later. But…what will happen to you and Lady Cresselia?_

_I told you, I'll deal with it,_ Darkrai said curtly. _I already have a plan, so everything should be fine. But…ah, if you don't hear from me for a while, don't get worried, okay?_

…_Now I'm _really_ worried,_ Sasha muttered as Darkrai went quiet in her head.

"Dude, he's totally awesome! And looks exactly like he does in the games!" Leo gushed.

"And he's wearing my Flame Plate!" Zippo said, equally giddy. He frowned. "Wait, why is he wearing my Flame Plate?"

"Because we used it to help summon him, remember?" Rebecca said. "You lent it to us."

"Oh, right…" Zippo murmured, somewhat envious of how the armor looked better on Surtrit than it did on him.

"So that's the guy you were trying to summon?" Bruno asked.

Rebecca nodded. "Yes, Surtrit, ruler of Muspelheim, Shivhel's eternal rival."

"Ah. Why didn't he get here sooner?" Looker asked, a perfectly reasonable question that was on everyone else's minds.

"That's…a good question," Rebecca admitted.

"He certainly did take his time, didn't he?" Silvia said disapprovingly.

"Quite, you'd think someone like that would be more punctual for their appointments," Goldor agreed.

"He had to wait until the last second to show up, because otherwise it would have been less dramatic!" Leo said.

"Yeah, duh!" Zippo said with a roll of his eyes, before sneezing and setting Bow's ribbons on fire.

Bow gasped in horror, quickly putting the flames out with a gust of wind. "_Qu'est-ce? Comment osez-vous! Viens ici!"_ she bellowed, spreading her fans and floating over.

"Waaaaaahhh! Sparky, help!" Zippo cried, running behind the armored Pikachu…

Who stepped out of the way and pushed him forward. "He's all yours, milady."

"What? You're giving me up to her? Whatever happened to your code of chivalry, dude?" Zippo screamed in horror.

"It's _because_ of my code of chivalry that I'm turning you over," Sparky said. "Bow is a noble lady of finest breeding, and as a knight it's my duty to protect her honor. You have besmirched that honor, and therefore I am required to punish you in her name…or allow her to do it for herself, if that is what she wants."

"And it is!" Bow said, whacking Zippo with her fans repeatedly. "Bad Charmeleon! Bad! Bad! Bad!"

"Aaaaaaaghhhh! Anime taught me this would hurt, but not that it would hurt this bad!" Zippo wailed.

"Wait, then why did you defend him when he set my hair on fire?" Diane asked angrily.

"Because rather than handle him yourself, you sent Butler to do it for you, which meant I was honor-bound to protect my teammate from a threat to his health, rather than a spurned lady seeking her righteous retribution" Sparky said.

"And aside from that, you aren't a noblewomon, so he wasn't required to do anything if he didn't want to," Lu added, confident this would never be a problem for her, both because she was Sparky's lover and because she was part of a noble household back in Italia. (What, an aristocrat can't be an assassin too?) Diane's eye twitched.

"…You'd have let Bow do that even if your knight's code didn't say you had to, wouldn't you?" Pikachu asked Sparky quietly as he watched the Charmeleon get beaten, taking a guilty and perverse enjoyment from it.

"You'd have done the same thing," Sparky said.

"Yes…yes I would have," Pikachu said, looking at Leo, who gulped nervously.

"Guys!" Ash yelled as he ran over with Lily and Fantina. "You're okay!"

"Ash! So are you!" said a relieved Pikachu.

"Leo!" Lily cried happily as she tackled the Squirtle. "You have no idea how worried I was! I'm glad you're all right!"

Leo laughed. "Awww, thanks babe…but you had nothing to worry about! If we'd stayed frozen in that ice sheet for too long, the temperature-sensitive trigger I set on my third Thermonuke would have gone off and thawed us all out before we could freeze to death!"

"Your…your _third…_" Pikachu stammered incredulously.

"Yeah, I told you I had another account in my Dad's name, didn't I?" Leo said.

"I…you…gah…" Pikachu stammered, eyes crossing and developing a nasty twitch.

"Dude, you are the _master_ of crazy prepared!" Zippo gushed. "I thought I was ready for any situation, but you've proven just how far I am from reaching that ideal! You gotta teach me everything you know!"

"Sure thing-" Leo started.

"NO," Pikachu shouted.

"But-" Leo protested.

"NO!" Pikachu shouted even louder, looking like he was on the verge of exploding.

"Yes, what he said. Absolutely not," Sparky said sternly.

Both Leo and Zippo sagged in disappointment. "Awww, mon," Leo complained.

"You swordsmice are such fascists," Zippo whined. The fascists electrified them. "Owowowowow! You're just proving my point, you know!"

Ash sweatdropped. "I take it we aren't bothering with the fake identity thing anymore?"

"Nope," Briney said as he and the rest of Team Aurabolt gathered round. "Good riddance to that, too. Seemed like a big waste of time right from the start, if you ask me."

"Nobody did," Pikachu said flatly. Briney grunted.

"We're glad to see you in one piece, but…where's Tiny?" Sasha asked.

"And Dawn?" Leo asked, causing Pikachu to bite his lip in worry.

"And Ritchie and Cruise? You were last with them," Sparky said as he and the rest of Team Getem joined the conversation.

"Um…sorry, but I don't know where they are," Ash confessed. "Probably where we last were before we got frozen, battling Articuno."

"I see…I hope they're okay…" Sparky murmured.

"Ooh, did you beat Articuno?" Leo asked excitedly.

Ash sighed. "No…I was about to, but then we got frozen, and I found myself here. According to Lily, though, she got away."

Lily nodded unhappily. "I was frozen too, but I saw Shivhel summon Marianne, Paul, and Articuno from where they were frozen. All of them were in bad shape, but still alive, and will probably get better soon because Bellum sent them away to get treated elsewhere."

"Aw, mon! That's so lame!" Leo complained.

"Then the whole fight was for nothing…" Sasha snarled.

"And that means Dawn and Kairyu didn't kill Paul, either," Pikachu said in disappointment, ears lying flat against his skull. He could only imagine how distraught Dawn would be that she'd failed _again._ She and Palmer had been so determined to end it today, too…looks like that wasn't the way things were fated to happen.

"Oh well…there's always next time, lads," Briney said sympathetically. "That's what I always told myself whenever one of the bastards who killed my wife slipped away."

"You too?" Captain Salty said in surprise. "Wow, Sparky was right, our teams really _do_ have a lot in common."

"Yeah…kind of creepy…" Rose agreed. The teams eyed each other warily.

"Milady, are you all right? You look terrible!" Diane said in concern as she and Butler doted over the injured Fantina.

"Please, is there anything I can do to help? Anything at all?" Silvia asked anxiously, trying to 'help' (and maybe steal some hair), only to be politely but firmly rebuffed by Butler every time she got too close.

"Ugh, here we go…" Goldor murmured, rolling his many eyes.

"Like you wouldn't do the same to someone _you_ really admired, Dad?" Buck teased.

"Don't be preposterous, boy, of course I wouldn't!" Goldor snapped.

"Not even for Corey Demario?" Buck asked.

"That's different, he's an athlete! There's nothing wrong with a mon gushing over his favorite sports star!" Goldor insisted.

"How is that any different from my idolization of Fantina?" Silvia asked.

"Because she doesn't play baseball!" Goldor declared, causing his family to facefault.

"I'm fine, really," Fantina said, trying to get her servants to quit hovering over her. "It's nozing a good long nap and a complete makeover won't fix!"

"I zink it'll take a bit more zan zat to get you back to your full radiance," Bow said, looking distraught. "Did Bellum really do zat big a number on you, Mama?"

"Don't worry, she 'ad it just as bad," Fantina assured her. She scowled. "Alzhough she seems fine now…lucky bitch…but speaking of lucky, Bow, you've evolved! Congratulations! I 'and't zought you were due for quite some time!"

"Neizzer did I…but I was so determined to defeat Marianne, I guess I triggered it prematurely. Won't ze ozzers be envious!" Bow giggled, spinning about to show herself off. "I'm curvier zan ever now!"

"Yes, you are especially rotund, milady," Butler said dutifully.

"The sphere is the perfect shape, and it suits you well," Diane agreed.

"It does, doesn't it?" Bow said, fanning herself. She pouted. "But it's 'ard to enjoy my newfound maturity wiz ze knowledge zat Marianne got away…and after all ze work I put into cutting 'er down to size, too!"

"Don't worry, dear, you'll get 'er someday," Fantina said.

"You've been saying zat about Bellum for centuries, and yet she's still undead and kicking!" Bow said angrily.

"She's also right over zere, so after Surtrit's done wiz Shiv'el we can go and beat ze crap out of 'er," Fantina said.

"…Ooh! I would enjoy zat very much!" Fantina said eagerly.

"As would we, we would like to have a few words with her over what she's done to you…" Butler said ominously.

"It's worse zan it looks, really!" Fantina insisted.

"Oh really?" Diane asked skeptically.

The Mismagius flushed. "Well…it would 'ave been even worse if Lily 'adn't been zere to back me up!" Fantina said.

Everyone turned to look at Lily, who turned red when she found herself the focus of so much attention. "I-I didn't do that much, really…" Lily stammered.

"Don't be shy, dear, I doubt I would 'ave lasted zat long wizzout you! You pulled my buns out of ze freezer more zan once back zere!" Fantina said.

"Shouldn't that be 'out of the oven?'" Dean asked.

"Bellum's an ice witch," Vladimir pointed out.

"Oh, right," Dean realized.

"S-still," Lily stuttered, turning even redder. "_You_ did most of the work."

"Yes, but you're ze one who almost killed Bellum! Anozzer good blow and you'd 'ave finished 'er off once and for all!" Fantina said.

"Whoa, really? That's so cool!" Leo said excitedly.

"Wow, nice job, Lily," Ash said.

"Well done," Sasha said.

"Heh, good to see you were able to stand up to her," Briney complimented. "I knew you had it in you somewhere."

"Oh…well…" Lily looked away. "It's not that big a deal…especially since I didn't actually manage to kill her…" _Mainly because she tricked me by making me think I had to choose between finishing her off and saving you_, she thought, not wanting her friends to know that her concern for them was the reason she'd failed to kill Bellum for good.

"Even so, you managed to conquer your fears and prove you're not the same Lily whom she was able to hurt and boss around all the time," Pikachu said.

Rose nodded. "I haven't even reached that stage with my own mother yet…you're a real inspiration, Lily!"

"What does your mother have to do with anything?" asked a confused Bruno.

"Oh, my mother's an evil mage, just like Lily's," Rose said. "Except Lily's mother is a lot eviler than mine, because she's Bellum."

"…Wait, Lily's Bellum's daughter?" Bruno cried.

"Ah, just as I thought…" Looker murmured.

"Wait, you actually figured it out ahead of time?" asked the surprised Vladimir.

"Of course, I am a detective after all," Looker said.

"Didn't you know? I thought everyone did by now," Happy said.

"No! Why does nobody ever tell me things like this?" Bruno demanded.

"Because it's funnier that way. Anyway, let's hear it for my girlfriend, the witch who nearly killed Bellum!" Leo cheered. "You rock!"

Lily turned redder and redder as everyone kept praising her. _Wh-why are they all making such a big deal out of this? I _didn't_ kill her! She's right over there! I had the chance to destroy her once and for all, and I blew it! Doesn't anyone realize that?_

_It's not your near-victory they're celebrating, so much as what it means for you,_ B said.

_Huh? What do you mean?_ Lily asked.

_Don't you get it? Earlier, you were absolutely _terrified_ of facing Bellum. But during the fight, you lost that fear. You became determined to do whatever it took to stop her and protect your friends. You refused to be afraid of her anymore. They're congratulating you for finding the courage to face, and nearly defeat her. That's something to be proud of!_

_But I _didn't_ defeat her, and I'm still scared of her!_ Lily protested.

_Oh? Are you as scared of her as you were before, after seeing her at her weakest and coming _this_ close to killing her? _B asked.

Lily considered this for a moment. _I…no, I guess not,_ Lily thought, startled.

_To you, Bellum has always been invincible, unstoppable, the dominating force of your unlife, capable of destroying everything you held dear at a whim…but now you know she's not nearly that strong. You almost killed her. You came within _inches_ of it. Even though you didn't, she's always going to know that you could have in a heartbeat…and that next time, you might not hesitate to finish her off,_ B said. _She knows now that you aren't a helpless pawn for her to torment at her pleasure…and now, so do you._

_You're…you're right,_ Lily said in growing amazement. _I…I_ can _beat her, can't I?_

_That's right, you can,_ B agreed. _And next time, you will._

_No,_ Lily thought, a smile forming on her face as she looked at her friends. We _will._

"Have you seen Max?" Sam asked abruptly as he pushed his way over to them. "I've been looking all over for him and asking everyone else, but nobody's seen him!"

"Sorry Sam, I don't have a clue," Ash apologized.

"Um…I do…" Lily said uneasily.

"Where? You've gotta tell me!" he demanded, grabbing and shaking her.

"Hey, hands off my girlfriend!" Leo said indignantly.

"Sorry, but it's a matter of life and death, possibly Max's, and more likely whoever took him!" Sam said.

"B-Bellum t-t-took h-h-her!" Lily stammered.

Everyone gasped. "What? Oh no!" Zippo cried.

"Zat's not good…" Bow murmured.

"Bellum? Why?" Sam asked in confusion, letting go of Lily.

"She wanted to know how he became a giant monster and why he had some strange magic surrounding him," Lily said. "She transported him back to her lair, where she'll probably do all sorts of terrible experiments and…_other_ things to him. I'm…sorry, Sam."

"Why didn't you do anything to stop her?" Sam demanded.

"I couldn't!" Lily protested.

"Neizer of us could. Shiv'el froze us solid," Fantina said. "All we could do was watch."

"Well, you're not frozen now, so do something about it!" Sam insisted. "Send me to Bellum's lair! You're her daughter, you have to know where it is, right?"

"Hey yeah, she should, shouldn't she?" Pikachu realized.

"Why'd we never ask her about that before?" Ash wondered.

"Because it wouldn't have done any good," Briney said, having already read Lily's mind.

"How do you mean?" Goldor asked.

"Because I _don't_ know where her lair is," Lily confessed.

Everyone gave her confused looks. "What do you mean? You lived there, didn't you?" Looker asked.

"Yeah, for at least three hundred years!" Leo said.

"Yes, I lived there, but I don't know where it is…at the moment, anyway," Lily confessed. "You see, Mother's hideout is a hollowed-out iceberg of Nevermelt Ice, set adrift in the ocean. The current carries it all around the world, so it's never in any one place for very long, and rarely stops in the same place twice. As such, I have no idea where it might be now."

"So _zat's_ why I've never been able to find it!" Fantina gasped. "And all zis time, I figured it was shielded or in anozer dimension or somezing! 'Ow fiendishly clever…and just what I would expect from 'er!"

"I don't think now's the time to be admiring her," said a disturbed Salty.

"I'm not admiring 'er. I despise 'er. Even so, I 'ave to admit she's very smart and good at what she does, which is being bad," Fantina said.

"A floating iceberg? That's a bit of a problem…" Sam murmured with a frown.

"Wait, but if you don't know where it was, how were you able to get to or from it?" Pikachu asked.

"Through portals," Lily said. "Even if I didn't know exactly where it was spatially, I always knew what its interior looked like because it was…well, home. As such, I could get there from just about anywhere within range, and if I wasn't in range, I'd travel until I found somewhere I could portal to it from. That was rarely a problem, though, since Mother almost never let me out by myself, so usually whenever she and Marianne headed back I returned with them."

"Then open a portal and send me there!" Sam said.

"I'd love to, but I can't do that either," Lily apologized. "Considering that I ran away from home, I'm not exactly welcome back there. It's rigged with all sorts of horrible curses and traps to keep unwanted people from getting in…and I should know, since Mother tried out more than one of them on me to make sure they worked properly. If I opened a portal, it would trigger the defense systems and hit me and anyone else in range with an unblockable and absolutely lethal curse that would kill us after forcing us to writhe in unimaginable agony for about…twelve hours or so."

They stared at her, disturbed. "…Did she test _that_ on you, too?" asked a horrified George.

"Oh yes," Lily said. "Well, except for the killing part. With that bit removed, the curse lasted for about a week. It was very unpleasant, but certainly not the worst thing she's ever done to me."

There was a long, dumbfounded silence as everyone processed this. "…Yeah, you definitely have me beat in the evil mother category," Rose murmured.

"Oh Lily…" Leo said sadly.

"Geez…" Ash whispered.

"Anozzer reason to 'ate myself for not finding 'er sooner," Fantina muttered to herself.

"Wow," Sam said finally. "That…does sound rather bad." He frowned and scratched his head. "But…it doesn't matter. I'll face a million instant-death spells to get Max back."

"Well, yeah, but how are you going to do that? No offense, but it kinda sounds like he's…you know, out of bounds. Forever," Buck said.

Dean whistled. "Mon, am I glad we never got locked up there…"

"Simple," Sam said, shrugging off his jacket and tossing his hat away, the frighteningly serious expression that had briefly been on his face when he had interrogated Brodie returning. "I'm going to go and 'ask' Bellum how to get my little buddy back. And if she doesn't return him, I'll shoot her until she tells me." With that, he turned and started walking across the debris field towards Bellum.

Everyone exchanged looks. "…Is he about to go and threaten the world's evilest witch to give back his best friend at gunpoint?" Pikachu asked incredulously.

"SO! COOL!" Leo and Zippo shouted.

"I'm…just going to go after him and make sure he doesn't do anything stupid," George said, running after Sam.

They exchanged looks after she left. "Does anyone else think we should go help him?" Sparky asked very reluctantly, his code of honor demanding it, but the rest of him really just wanting to wash his hands of the whole thing.

"I know I am," Fantina said.

"But Mozzer, you're still-" Bow protested.

"Bellum is my arch-nemesis, and I know what she's capable of more zan anyone 'ere except for Lily," Fantina said sharply. "Which is why I 'ave to 'elp him!"

Butler sighed. "Which means, of course, we're helping too…"

"And we've gotta help too, right?" Leo begged the others.

"Yeah, we have to," Ash agreed. He wasn't particularly fond of Sam either, but he didn't want him to get himself killed. The rest of the heroes nodded reluctantly but didn't argue.

"Us too, right?" Zippo pleaded Sparky.

The knight groaned, giving in. "Yeah, all right…"

"Which means we're going too," Bruno said.

"We are?" Dean asked in alarm.

"Yes, we are," Bruno said.

"Hey, you can't order him around, only I can do that!" Vladimir protested. Bruno glared at him, causing him to gulp and stammer, "W-which is why I'm ordering him to help fight Bellum, because it's the right thing to do!"

Dean groaned, while Bob whimpered in dismay. "Oh, come on…"

"We'll go too!" Silvia insisted.

"Do we have to?" Buck whined. "Haven't we done enough fighting already?"

"You can never have enough fighting!" Goldor said. "And besides, by this point she's run out of minions and other obstacles to throw at us, so we should be able to overpower her easily and make her tell us what she's done with that hideously deformed Buneary!"

"Well, unless Conservation of Ninjutsu kicks in…" Zippo muttered.

"Dude, you just jinxed us!" Leo cried in alarm.

"Conservation of what now?" Looker asked.

"You don't want to know," all of Team Aurabolt and Team Getem said deadpan.

"Well, either way, it'll make for a picturesque fight!" Todd said as they set off to go help Sam. "Hmm, but then again, so will the fight between Shivhel and Surtrit…and I can probably only take pictures of one, but which? Decisions, decisions…"

"Hey, speaking of Shivhel and Surtrit, why haven't they started fighting yet while we've been talking here?" Buck asked.

"Talking is a free action," all of Team Aurabolt and Team Getem said wearily before Leo and Zippo could open their mouths.

"Oh," Buck said, looking more confused than ever.

Speaking of Shivhel and Surtrit, they really should have started fighting by now, shouldn't they? Let's do something about that…

"You imbecile! You've ruined everything!" Shivhel screamed as she stared at the valley floor, only a few big chunks of ice remaining, and most of those were already disintegrating fast. "This was going to be my new ice rink! I would have had the greatest skaters and dancers from the furthest reaches of Niflheim come here to perform for me…and battle to the death in my name!"

"Ooh, there's a good idea," Bellum murmured to herself. "Note to self, get an ice rink/coliseum to force my prisoners to dance and kill each other for my amusement…"

"Bah, ice skating's for girls," Surtrit snorted.

"There are lots of great _male_ skaters, you know," Shivhel pointed out.

"Whom are gay, and therefore girls," Surtrit said.

"…That is horribly politically incorrect!" said a disgusted Shivhel.

"Seriously? Something like that bothers you?" asked an incredulous Bellum.

"I'm evil, but I'm not _prejudiced!_ Well, except for warm-bloods like this lout, but it's more of a general loathing than out and out bigotry and discrimination," Shivhel said.

Surtrit sweatdropped. "Are we really talking about this right now?"

"You're the one who started it by destroying my ice rink!" Shivhel shouted, gathering her power. "Destroying things is all you're good for! At least I can create things and make beauty, all _you_ ever do is burn and burn until there's nothing left but ashes!"

"Some of us like ashes!" Surtrit snarled, his fire blazing up around him.

"NOT ME!" Shivhel shrieked, thrusting her hands forward and firing a massive blue-white ice blast at Surtrit.

Bellum sweatdropped. "Am I the only one who thinks they bicker like a married couple?"

Surtrit grunted and was pushed back a few feet as the ice blast smashed into him…but he shrugged it off, fire burning even brighter as his Flame Plate armor started glowing a brilliant red. Snarling, he surged forwards like a flaming comet, smashing through the energy blast towards Shivhel. Seeing he was coming, Shivhel quickly stopped firing and darted to the side out of the way. Surtrit swung his flaming sword as he shot past, and Shivhel had to bend her head so far back her neck snapped to keep from being decapitated. But such an injury meant nothing to her, and she snapped her neck back into place, pointed a hand at Sutrit's back, and fired another incredibly powerful ice blast at him. The attack propelled him through the air and smashed him into the side of the mountain that Rebecca had briefly brought to life which was now sitting awkwardly in the middle of the town's ruins, the continued force from her beam pushing him into and _through_ the rock, creating a deep indentation. Shivhel spread her hands, blue energy balls forming in her palms, as she fired twin ice beams at the hole she'd created, covering it, as well as about a third of the mountain, in a thick sheet of ice. She grinned, believing him to be buried alive…

When abruptly, the mountain started shaking. The sides turned red from heat, and some of the rock actually started melting and sliding down the sides. As Shivhel flinched backwards from the temperature increase, her jaw dropping in disbelief, the top of the mountain abruptly exploded, a pillar of fire and lava rising hundreds of feet into the air, fireballs and huge lava bombs falling from its apex to rain down upon Dusty Ditch, tearing up the already devastated landscape further with explosions and massive craters as the projectiles smashed into the ground.

"No! My children!" Happy screamed in horror. "They were gestating under the mountain! That bastard's killed them!"

"And that's a bad thing?" Salty murmured to himself. Lu frowned and smacked him.

"Don't worry, I'm still picking up life from underneath that thing," Ash said as he scanned the flaming mountain with his Aura-sight. "All the lava and stuff seems to be generated by Surtrit rather than coming out of the ground, so none of it's touching them."

Happy sighed in relief. "Oh, thank goodness…I was worried the poor things would be scorched alive, before they had the chance to fully mature!"

"But instead, the heat from that fiery mountain should serve as an incubator to speed up their growth rate and make them come out even sooner, right?" Zippo guessed.

"Precisely!" Happy said.

"Joy…" Salty grumbled.

"Which means I'll get to see their hatching after all! I was getting worried about that," Todd confessed. "Glad they're gonna be okay…"

"RUN!" Sasha shouted, dashing away. Her friends exchanged startled looks and chased after her. Team Getem quickly followed, as did almost everyone else except for the confused vampires.

"Where are they all going so fast?" Vladimir wondered.

"Hey, is it just me or is one of those lava bombs heading right towards us?" Dean asked.

Vladimir glanced up, though it was difficult to do without looking into the Sun, which would burn his sensitive eyes. However, he was still able to make out enough to see that one of the falling projectiles was indeed growing larger at an alarming rate. "You know, I think it is," he said.

"Yeah, that's what I thought," Dean said. There was a pause, and then they screamed and ran after the others, doing their best to stay in the shade of their umbrellas while still running as fast as they possibly could.

Uncaring of the chaos he had caused, Surtrit rose up the center of the pillar of fire from within the newborn volcano, a savage grin on his face. He crossed his arms, flames building up around his hands, and then he roared and started making a series of rapid throwing motions, flinging fireballs at Shivhel. The ice elemental ground her teeth in frustration and flew upwards, lithely dodging the fireballs and burning rocks that were hurled her away, flash-freezing any that came to close to her with thrusts of her palms and swift exhalations. She cupped her hands and started charging up a ball of freezing energy. Seeing this, Surtrit stopped in his volley and raised his hands to do the same. Shivhel managed to finish charging hers first, though, and hurled it before Surtrit could get his off. The energy ball struck the base of the pillar of lava and froze it solid, cooling it instantly and causing it to harden into a tower of rock. Shivhel smirked, pleased that it had petrified with Surtrit inside. "There, now that's a bit better," she said as the rain of fire came to an end.

"I think that's a matter of opinion!" Surtrit roared as a horizontal crack ran down the midpoint of the column and the upper half shuddered and rose upwards in the fire elemental's claws, his massive muscles barely having to exert themselves to haul the colossal weight. With a mighty bellow, he set the column ablaze and swung it at Shivhel like a baseball bat, smashing into her before she could fly out of the way and sending her flying, embers and snowflakes trailing in her wake as she flew across the valley and smashed into her palace, causing the front portion of it to cave in with the sound of shattering glass. Surtrit backflipped off the top of the mountain, landed at its base hard enough to crater the ground, reached down to grab its edge, _lifted the whole thing into the air, and HURLED IT AT SHIVHEL'S PALACE._

The two mountains collided with an impact so strong it shattered both of them, sending massive boulders and jagged fragments of ice flying all over the place, forcing the heroes to run all over the place, firing attacks and raising shields to keep from being crushed by the debris. "What is he doing? He could get us killed!" Goldor sputtered.

"I thought he was on _our_ side!" Bruno said.

"'e is! 'e just…well, gets a little carried away in a fight," Fantina said in embarrassment.

"If I knew he'd be this much trouble, I think I would have advocated for a less feisty fire spirit," Rebecca complained.

"What, they aren't all like this?" Cherry asked.

"Surprisingly, no." Rebecca sighed. "On the other hand, most of the calmer ones tend to be weaker…I guess it makes sense, the hotter they burn, the greater their power…and the wilder they are as well."

"…Would this have anything to do with why he's an 'old flame' rather than a…well, you know…" Lily said slowly.

"'mm? Oh no, ze two are completely unrelated. We broke up because 'e couldn't satisfy all my needs, if you know what I mean," Fantina said.

Everyone who knew or thought they knew what she was talking about goggled at her incredulously. "Ah," Lily said faintly.

"You know, I'm glad Tiny's not here, because I don't want to have to explain something like that to him," Ash groaned.

"I'm glad Cruise _and_ Ritchie aren't here, because I don't want to have to explain something like that to _them_," Sparky said.

Ash blinked. "Wait, I thought Ritchie was in a relationship," he said.

"They are. They just haven't worked up the nerve to…you know, _do_ it yet," Sparky said.

Briney shook his head bemusedly. "Kids these days…"

"Yes, they should stop wasting time and get around to doing it already," Salty agreed.

"I do not understand the mating customs of you civilized Pokémon," said a disgruntled Sasha. "Why do you not simply procreate already? Why spend so much time talking around the issue or procrastinating or pretending it's not on both of your minds?"

Most of them flushed. "Uh, well…" Rose said.

"Actually, most sensible individuals don't beat around the bush and just get to it straight away," Looker said knowledgeably. "Others, however, are a little more thick-headed and need reason to be pounded into their skulls. Repeatedly.":

All of Team Aurabolt looked at Ash. He sighed in exasperation. "Oh for the love of—can't we go _one day_ without anyone bringing up my…relationship with Misty?"

"No," his friends all replied. His eye twitched.

"Zat's not somezing Mama or I worry about, but zen again, we're Mewrians, so generally don't waste time wiz zat nonsense and get right to ze good stuff," Bow said.

"Perhaps you should consider converting? I could teach you a few zings to make your boyfriend very 'appy…" Fantina offered Lily.

"Um, n-no, I'm perfectly happy being in the Sisterhood of the Bountiful Gracidea," Lily said nervously. "Er…Leo, our religion is a bit stricter about that…sort of thing, right?"

Leo frowned. "Huh? Heck no, where'd you get that idea?"

Lily sagged as Fantina and Bow giggled. "Oh…never mind…"

"_Mi amore_ tried that tack for a while, but I got fed up and jumped him when his guard was down," Lu said, snuggling up to a resigned Sparky.

"It took Pikachu getting completely wasted for Dawn to unsheathe his sword, if you know what I mean," Briney said slyly, causing Pikachu to grit his teeth and briefly consider electrocuting him. "I wouldn't do that if I were you, boyo."

"Dammit Briney, stop reading our minds!" Pikachu snapped.

"No," Briney said flatly.

"…You're all completely insane," Goldor said.

"Mom, what did the Captain mean with that sword comment?" Buck asked.

"I'll, uh, tell you when you're older," Silvia said anxiously.

"Hey Ash, you're not gonna waste time with that nonsense anymore when Misty gets back from space, are you?" Leo asked a very embarrassed Ash.

"Wh-what? Um…er…I haven't really thought about it much…" Ash lied.

Leo sighed. "Of course you haven't. Stupid chaste Aura Guardian…"

"Who's Misty and why is she in space?" asked a confused Bruno.

"Oh, she's Ash's girlfriend," Happy said.

"She got abducted by the Nihilators and taken to their base, much like us," Vladimir said.

"But where they got turned into vampires, she got her particles scattered across reality by the insane Doctor Tarantulas," Cherry said.

"Fortunately, the Savior Deoxys reassembled her and is bringing her back, and will hopefully arrive in time to help defeat the Nihilators once and for all," Butler said.

"Yeah, that's pretty much the gist of it," Pikachu agreed.

"Quite a story, huh?" Leo said.

"…Dammit, why does nobody tell me these things ahead of time?" Bruno shouted in frustration, seeing that he was one of the very few people who had not known any of this.

"A better question is why everyone else seems to know these details about my personal life?" Ash demanded.

"Because it's fun to gossip, of course," Briney said. Ash facepalmed.

The remains of Shivhel's palace started shaking. Surtrit grinned and drove his flaming sword into the ground, causing a jagged fissure to start zigzagging across the landscape, flames and spurts of magma bursting out of it. Just as the crack reached the base of the mountain, a tremendous cluster of ice crystals erupted from the debris, towering thousands of feet into the air with a screaming Shivhel perched atop the tallest spire, snow and ice chips whirling around her. The crack touched the base of her crystals, and the mountain began to rumble again as it prepared to erupt. Shivhel directed her power down into the ground, turning the mountain itself into ice and freezing the eruption in its tracks, causing the ground split open by Surtrit's fissure to explode as the heat energy it had been conducting backfired, sending globs of lava and fire flying all over the place and leaving a gaping pool of magma in its wake, a pool that was starting to turn into stone as ice rapidly spread outwards from Shivhel's positon. Growling, fire blazing up all around him, Surtrit leaped into the air and dove into the lava pool with a cannonball, causing a tidal wave of lava that appeared to be far in excess of the actual contents of the pool to rise up and surge towards Shivhel, melting the hardened rock in its wake and destroying any ice in its path. Gritting her teeth, Shivhel planted her feet, spread her legs, and thrust her arms out, firing a tremendous ice blast at the tidal wave that cooled it to solidity in moments, creating a huge wave of stone looming over her.

Surtrit ran up the slope of the petrified lava wave, jumped off the crest, and sailed down towards Shivhel, raising his sword in the air and bringing it down on the ice elemental with all the force in his extremely powerful body. Shivhel caught the burning blade between her hands, encasing her limbs in mitts made of ice so as not to burn her sensitive flesh, generating new ice to by the second replace whatever was destroyed by contact with the sword. They ground their teeth as they pressed against each other, Surtrit trying to break Shivhel's block, and Shivhel trying to fling him away, elemental power building around them and causing fire and ice to blast away from them in all directions, shattering the stone wave, destroying the ice spires, and even causing the nearest mountains to start to crumble. As their eyes locked, hatred born from millennia of fighting and bad blood seemed to ignite the air between them, causing the ground to shatter as blasts of fire and ice intermittently burst out, dissipated, and were replaced by new ones seconds later. Finally, the energy grew too great for either of them to control, and with a tremendous blast the conflicting power exploded, flinging either elemental away in opposite directions, each crashing into a mountain so hard that they collapsed on top of them.

They didn't stay under for long, though. As the heroes watched in amazement and more than a little terror (and Todd took lots of pictures), in great explosions of their respective elements Surtrit and Shivhel emerged from their mountains, fire and ice swirling around them. As Surtrit threw his head back and howled, causing pillars of lava to erupt from the ground all around him, Shivhel raised her hands in the air and conjured icebergs which she telekinetically flung at Surtrit like giant frozen missiles. Surtrit took a few steps back, then with a running start leaped off the ground, fire blazing around him as he flew through the air towards the incoming icebergs. Spitting out fireballs of equal size, he destroyed the first dozen he encountered. The next dozen after that, he shattered with crushing blows from his immense claws and flaming sword. The final iceberg, one so big even a frost giant would have felt dwarfed by it, Surtrit simply grinned at and slammed into at full power, turning up the heat so that his flames melted everything they touched so that he could fly right through the ice mass and out the other side, the whole thing exploding behind him. An alarmed Shivhel quickly backflipped just before Surtrit landed where she had been standing with an impact so great that the ground actually exploded, a small mushroom cloud of fire and smoke billowing up from where he had landed.

Shivhel landed some distance away on the burning and scorched battlefield, the earth cooling and hardening as it came in contact with her feet. She gestured, and a blizzard stirred up, blowing away the flames and revealing a grinning Surtrit, buried up to his waist in a pool of liquefied rock. Planting the tip of his sword in the (slightly less melted) ground outside the pool, he hefted himself up and out and started running towards Shivhel, embers and magma dripping from his armored frame, the icy winds only serving to make his flames burn brighter, the snowflakes and hailstones evaporating before they even got within a foot of him. Snarling, Shivhel extended her necrotic left arm, which split apart, the dead flesh peeling back to reveal her ice-laced bones, which gruesomely cracked and split and reconfigured themselves, transforming into a blade of ice and bone. Howling like the north wind, she ran towards Surtrit, her long hair flying out behind her. With a roar of equal volume and intensity, Surtit met her, their blades swinging through the air and colliding with a thunderclap that disintegrated the surrounding mountains.

They dueled, sword of flame striking against sword of bone and ice again and again, their swordplay much like their respective elements: Surtrit was impulsive and fierce and relentless, attacking again and again from unexpected angles and directions, to counter Shivhel's seemingly impenetrable defense, her sword always just at the right spot to block his next strike, as cool and patient as a glacier, inexorably advancing and waiting for the opportunity to strike. He did not intend to give her that opportunity. When next their swords collided, locking against each other, he leaned forwards and vomited lava right at her face. She cupped her lips and blew, freezing the lava solid before it could reach her face and causing a very thick lump of stone to form inside Surtrit's throat. As he choked and tried to liquefy the obtrusive mass, Shivhel pressed forward, pushing him off balance and knocking his sword arm away from her. Cackling triumphantly, she lunged forwards to drive her sword through Surtrit's gut…

And screamed in pain and surprise when her sword shattered on impact with his armored torso. She stumbled backwards, crying in alarm as the rest of her arm caught on fire, desperately trying to put it out only to find that, no matter what she did, the flames wouldn't stop burning. Surtrit snapped his jaws shut, shattering the rock that had been stuck in them as he managed to liquefy and swallow the rest. "Stupid bitch. Did you really think that puny thing could penetrate the armor of the Flame Plate?"

"Perhaps not…but not all of you is protected by it!" she shrieked, her hair writhing and suddenly surging towards him, elongating and thrusting at any exposed part of his body in massive drills and screws and tiny razor-sharp needles. Surtrit simply grinned and ignited his fiery aura, the hairs flying right into the fire before the horrified Shivhel could draw them back, and when she _did_ draw them back, she brought some of the fire with them, the flames rushing back up the strands to set her head alight, her cranium erupting into a great conflagration. "!"

"Heh, I always did say you needed a haircut!" Surtrit quipped. "And look, now your face looks better…or at least more symmetrical, what with both sides having all the skin burned off them and everything." He drew back his sword. "I'm sure your subjects won't mind…much. But we'll find that out soon enough, once I send you back to Niflheim!"

"No…NOOOOOOOOOO!" Shivhel screamed as Surtrit thrust his sword forwards, impaling her through the gut. The flames exploded outwards to consume her, causing the ice queen to disintegrate in a shower of embers and ash that drifted to the ground.

"!" Surtrit said mockingly, before throwing his head back and howling triumphantly, flames bursting from the ground all around him.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Bellum also screamed as she felt the last piece of her Fimbulvinter spell break. The earth trembled, and every trace of the intrusive other plane began to disappear. The extra-large mountains vanished, the remaining snow melted, and any lingering monsters faded away. Within moments, there was no trace of Niflheim to be left in Dusty Ditch or the surrounding landscape. In its wake was a heavily scarred, war-torn battlefield…but at least it was a completely terrestrial one, rather than one from another dimension. "What…_what have you done?_ My winter wonderland…my glorious new ice age…it's all gone! You've ruined everything!" Abruptly, something small and hard and incredibly fast struck her arm, nearly tearing it off and causing her to spin about from the momentum. Startled, she looked down at the missing chunk of ectoplasm in her elbow. "Wh-what? Who…_how…_"

"The name is Sam…and the how is my second little buddy!" Sam snarled, pointing his smoking gun at Bellum. "And unless you want a second bite from him, I'd suggest you tell me what you've done with my first little buddy!"

"Or you'll have to deal with me," George said, pointing her crossbow at Bellum.

"And us!" the other heroes said, amassed behind Sam and George.

Bellum was startled and more than a little worried to see them all. _Damn, I was so engrossed in the fight, I forgot all about them!_ "Are you trying to intimidate me? Don't make me laugh! The lot of you is on the brink of collapse from everything you've been through, while I'm back at full power thanks to Queen Shivhel! You don't stand a chance against me as you are now!"

"Damn, she knows about Conservation of Ninjutsu!" Leo hissed.

"Why does it have to work for villains, too? So lame!" Zippo complained. Their respective teams facepalmed.

Fantina smirked. "Even if you _could_ take us…which I doubt…could you also 'andle Surtrit, who's sure to be 'ere any minute now?"

Bellum froze. "Ah…hmm. Perhaps, ah, I should take my leave and save killing you all for another day…Oblivion's Shadow must be told of what happened here today, so we'll be ready for you the next time!"

"Wait…the _next_ time? What do you mean?" asked a startled Ash.

Bellum looked at him in surprise. "Wait…you mean…you didn't actually think…" She burst into laughter. "You did! Oh, that is so rich! You actually thought that was it? That I was going to be our only attempt to prevent our escaped fugitives from presenting their evidence against us to the whole world? Did you really think we would pour everything we had into _one attempt?_ I may have failed now, but our next attack will be even _worse!"_

They gasped in horror. "What? No!" an alarmed Lily cried.

"She's right," Cherry said. "They'll launch another attack tomorrow, and while it won't be quite the same as fighting the denizens of an entire other dimension, it's still going to incredibly difficult to overcome."

"What? Why didn't you mention this before now?" Rebecca cried.

"Because I figured we had enough on our plate already, we could wait until after the battle to deal with what's coming next," Cherry said.

Bellum frowned. "That's right, you're an oracle, aren't you? So that's how you were able to prepare for the hordes of Niflheim…hmm, that could prove a problem…then again, I doubt I'll be involved in the next assault, which means if it fails, it'll be on Tarantulas's head, so it's a win for me either way!" She burst into laughter.

They sweatdropped. "Aren't they on the same side? I'd have thought she'd be more concerned about something like that…" Diane commented.

"Oh no, Bellum and the Doctor hate each other," Vladimir said.

"Yes, incredibly so, one of the worst tortures we suffered in their care was one of them ranting about how much they despised the other," Dean agreed.

"Yes, Mother even has a number of effigies of him she enjoys tormenting, though none of the ones she's made as voodoo dolls seem to work," Lily said.

"Unfortunately," Bellum grumbled. "But I get my jollies on ripping out the appendages and organs of regular Ariados and pretending they're him."

"…So, this is the kind of hatred where you really dislike the guy, not where you're secretly in love with him, I take it?" Leo said as the others made disgusted faces.

"Ugh! The former. The very idea makes me sick!" said a revolted Bellum. "You've just given me one more reason to kill you, Squirtle."

"'Kay," Leo said, unbothered since lots of people already wanted to kill him for lots of reasons. What was a couple more?

"Anywhere…where were we? Oh, yes, I was pointing out how futile your actions here were!" Bellum cackled. "Not only has your victory today failed to thwart us, it's failed to seriously inconvenience me as well…true, my attempt to bring Niflheim to this world failed _this_ time, but now that I know my spell works, there's nothing to stop me from casting Fimbulvinter again and again, as many times as it takes until this world is covered in ice forever!"

"There's one thing…" Butler growled.

"Namely, that we aren't letting you get away to do any of that!" Ash said.

"We've already cast spells to prevent you from teleporting or portalling out of here. You have no choice but to face us!" Goldor said.

"Bellum, you're under arrest for crimes against Pokémonity. We're going to drag you before the Order of Merlin to face justice for everything you've done both as a Nihilator and one of the evilest sorceresses in history!" Looker croaked.

Bellum snickered. "Oh my, you're serious aren't you? You know, that might almost worry me if it weren't for one thing…I'm not actually here!"

"What are you talking about? You're floating right in front of us," said a confused Sasha.

"Wait…no, she's not!" Leo gasped, scanning the Froslass with his sunglasses. "It's just a projection! A Substitute she's controlling from somewhere else!"

"That's right!" Bellum sneered at the shocked looks on their faces. "When I saw Shivhel beginning to lose ground, I thought it best to beat a hasty retreat before the heat became too much of me. I'm already safe and sound in my hideout, plotting my next move…and trying to figure out what to tell Oblivion's Shadow that will minimize my punishment…"

"Then…then that means that all this was for nothing?" Rose cried in despair. "We didn't catch or kill you or any of your subordinates, we haven't stopped the Nihilators' plans to eliminate us, and we haven't permanently stopped your efforts to summon Niflheim?"

"That's right! Everything you've done was a complete waste of time!" Bellum cackled.

"Not so," Fantina interjected. "Even if we 'aven't stopped you permanently, we prevented Nifl'eim from taking root in zis area, and managed to give you a sound zumping you won't forget. Even if you've gotten away, you know zat you've lost zis day, Bellum. You zrew everyzing you 'ad at us, and it still wasn't enough. Not only zat, your own daughter, whom you 'ave belitted and abused 'er entire life, came wizin a 'airsbreadth of killing you. You nearly lost everyzing today, and you will always remember zat!"

Bellum yawned and rolled her eyes. "Yes, yes, you're the moral victor here, blahblahblah, I don't care. I'm going to leave you now to lick your wounds and worry about just what sort of firepower we'll muster against you next. I can almost guarantee it will be more than you can withstand."

"I don't care about any of that!" Sam snarled as he fired a shot that passed just above Bellum's head, causing her to flinch. "Where's Max?"

"…Who's Max?" asked the confused Bellum.

George grabbed Sam's arm before he could fire again. "The giant monster you took?"

"Oh, so _that's_ his name. Thank you, that's very informative," Bellum said.

"Where is he?" Sam demanded. "Tell me or I'll pump you full of lead!"

Bellum rolled her eyes. "Not that that would do anything, considering I'm not really _here_, but if you must know, he's at my lair, of course."

"You lie!" Sam barked.

"…Um, no I'm not," Bellum said, looking puzzled.

"She isn't. I, uh, sort of told you that already. Remember?" Lily asked.

"Oh. Right," Sam said as everyone facepalmed. "Well, uh, where's your lair?"

"Oh please, like I'm going to tell you that?" Bellum snorted.

"If we're all going to get killed tomorrow, why not tell us? What's the harm if the secret will die with us anyway?" Lu asked reasonably.

"Oh no, I'm not falling for that one! While I'm confident you'll die, I'm not certain enough to let information as valuable as that slip, just in case you make it through and manage to report it to the authorities," Bellum sneered. "Not that the information would do you any good anyway. As Lily's no doubt told you already, my hideout is an iceberg adrift in the sea, and even if you know where it is _now_, there's no guarantee it'll still be there by the time you arrive, since it's constantly carried by the ocean's currents, its location constantly changing from one moment to the next."

"Everyone's an iceberg adrift in the sea of life," Sam rambled spontaneously. "Where are we going? Where do we come from? We have no way of knowing these things. The currents of fate guide us against our wills, directing us where they please with no control over our destinies, carrying us from the glaciers or arctic regions we broke off of down to the warmer seas where we die, melting all alone in front of an uncaring world and a bunch of tourists who take lots of pictures because they think our death knell is really cool for some reason. Unless we crash into another iceberg, or a ship slams into us and sinks like in that one cheesy multimillion dollar movie with Leonardo Whatshisface and Kate Whosits, which, while sappy and overblown, is still infinitely preferable to the animated version rife with Disney rip-offs and a thoroughly anachronistic rapping dog of all things, or the other animated one where the ship was saved by a giant squid with a dog face. That makes a pretty good analogy for relationships in general, actually."

They stared at him, utterly dumbfounded. "…Huh?" said a confused Bellum.

"Okay, that one went over even my head," Leo admitted.

"He's right, though, those movies were bogus," Zippo said. Leo nodded in agreement.

"What if you had a sea chart?" Salty said.

"Hmm?" Sam asked.

"A sea chart. Those usually have currents marked on them, so sailors can know where to take their boats that'll get them to their destinations faster, and where to avoid to keep from getting slowed down or smashed into a rock or something," Briney said.

"Don't be ridiculous, how's an iceberg supposed to read a sea chart? They have no eyes, or years of nautical training!" Sam said. Everyone facefaulted.

"…Yyyyeah, I'm just…gonna go do something else now," Bellum said slowly. "Bye." Her Substitute hardened into ice, turned brittle, and shattered.

"Noooooooo!" Sam howled piteously, falling to his knees and firing his gun wildly into the sky, forcing everyone to duck in alarm. "Max! Where are yoooooouuuuu?"

"Sam…" George whispered.

"I thought we knew it was Bellum's lair," Sasha whispered.

"It was a rhetorical question, I think," Pikachu murmured.

"Not that rhetorical, since we don't know where Mother's lair _is_," Lily reminded them.

"No, but we can find out. Sam, I know you are worried for your friend, but once we get to Fichina, we can use ze resources zere to find 'im and get 'im back," Fantina said.

"But 'ow? Mama, I zought you said you've never been able to find 'er 'ideout before," Bow pointed out.

"Zat was before I knew what we were looking for. Now zat I know it's a mobile iceberg, zere are ways to figure out which one it is. Just as Briney said, sea charts already exist displaying ze world's ocean currents, and if one of zose currents is carrying an iceberg, zere are any number of ways to find out if one of zem is where Bellum is 'oled up or not," Fantina said. "Once we present all our evidence against Bellum and ze Nihilators to ze Order of Merlin and ze rest of ze world, an international monhunt will be put into effect to track down and destroy any enemy bases or agents Vladimir and Dean can tell us about. As a 'igh-ranking member of ze Nihilator organization and zreat to ze free world, extra effort will be expended on locating Bellum's lair, so zat we can free all 'er prisoners, end 'er blasphemous experiments, and put an end to 'er wickedness for good."

"I'll help," Lily promised. "I know Mother's lair better than almost anyone else, though there are parts of it even I was forbidden to enter. Don't worry, Sam. We'll get Max back." She didn't mention what condition he might be in by the time they actually rescued him, though. She knew all too well what sorts of things Bellum did to creatures that interested her…

"…All right," Sam said, calming down somewhat. "But I want to be part of the raid on Bellum's lair. And if those egghead politicians take too long setting up the operation, I'll head out on my own to rescue him. I don't care how difficult you say it'll be, Max is my best friend, and I'll do whatever it takes to get him out of there."

"And I'll come too," George said.

Sam blinked. "You will?"

"Sure! Max is…well, okay, he's not really my friend, but he's _your_ friend, and you're my friend, so…I'm obligated to help out," George said. And besides, it also meant she'd get to spend more time with Sam.

Sam scratched his head. "Well, all right. I'll have to deputize you as a member of the Freelance Police, though…but it's only going to be a temporary thing, since 'Sam and George' doesn't have quite the same ring to it as 'Sam and Max' does."

"'Bob and George' sounds pretty good, though," Zippo commented out of the blue. Bob glanced up and looked around, wondering why someone had mentioned his name.

"Hmm, this also means I'm going to have to let Sam Jr. stew in prison for a little while…oh well, I'm sure Max Jr. will find a way to save him from being executed in time," Sam said.

"Sam Jr.? You have a son?" George asked, startled.

"Yes, as the name implies," Sam said.

"Don't worry, he's adopted," Leo said.

"Oh," George said, trying to hide her relief.

"And a giant cockroach!" Zippo said.

"…A what?" asked a confused George.

"A big ugly bug," Leo explained.

"Hey, I'm a Bug!" Happy said.

"Yes, but you aren't ugly," Leo said.

"Oh, that's true," Happy admitted.

"Ah," George said vaguely.

"Why…why is his son…" a dumbfounded Sparky started.

"Don't ask," Pikachu said flatly. "Trust me, its more trouble than it's worth."

The heat rose sharply as Surtrit descended from the sky, landing nearby. "Well, that's Shivhel taken care of. She won't be bothering you again anytime soon, and it'll be a while before she's a problem to anybody else, either. It'll take her ages to recover from the beating I gave her!"

"Beating? You completely disintegrated her," Ash said.

"Yeah, but creatures like her and myself are pretty much immortal, so something like that can't kill her. It hurts like the Abyss, though, and it'll take a really long time for her to restore herself back to full power after a defeat like that," Surtrit explained.

"Really? But Bellum said she'd just go and cast her spell again, and start this all over," Buck said.

Surtrit frowned. "She did? I can't see what gave her that idea. With Shivhel in her current condition, control over Niflheim automatically goes to her lover, Shivhar, until she recovers. While it's possible for Bellum to summon him, he's not nearly strong enough to bring even a small part of Niflheim with him."

Their eyes lit up at this. "Then you mean…" Lily said hopefully.

"That Bellum won't be able to try something like this again anytime soon?" Surtrit grinned. "Precisely."

They all sighed in relief. "Thank goodness! That's one less thing for us to worry about," Diane commented.

"Heh, I'd love to snap a picture of the look on her face when she tries to cast Fimbulvinter again and it doesn't work!" Todd laughed.

"You mean after she murdered an entire town of innocent people to fuel the spell in the first place?" Sasha asked.

"…Oh. Uh, on second thought, I hope she finds out before she does that…" Todd murmured anxiously.

"He may be weaker, but is this 'Shivhar' a threat at all?" Bruno asked just to be certain.

Surtrit shook his head. "Nah, the guy's a total pussy. That's part of the reason Shivhel keeps him around, she knows he'll never be able to overthrow her should she be incapacitated, like she is right now."

"Then we won't have to worry about him coming after any of us for revenge for what happened to his wife?" Rose said, looking relieved.

"Nope, you just have to worry about the psychotic evil ice witch instead," Surtrit said.

Rose blanched. "Ah."

"Zank you very much for everyzing, Surtrit. We could not 'ave done it wizout you. Zanks to you, zis world 'as been saved from ze 'orrors of Nifl'eim," Fantina said gratefully.

Surtrit smirked. "Hey, it was no problem. Anything for an old friend. Besides, any chance to roast that bitch Shivhel a few times is more than enough reason for me to get involved in a scuffle like this."

"…He called that a scuffle?" Dean said incredulously.

"If that's a scuffle, I'd hate to see what he'd consider a full-blown fight…" a disturbed Looker murmured.

"Thank you very much for your help. We all appreciate what you've done for us. Now get out of here and go back to your world before you get any ideas of introducing the horrors of Muspelheim in Shivhel's place," Rebecca warned the elemental. "We summoned you, which means we can banish you too if you don't comply."

Surtrit rolled his eyes. "All right, geez. I was just about to leave anyway, this place is too cold for my liking and it's not worth the effort to make it hot enough to be comfortable."

"…He calls this _cold?_ We're in the middle of the desert in the center of a lot of recent volcanic activity and explosions and seismic upheavals, and this is _cold?_" Lu asked incredulously, already starting to feel a little dizzy from the swiftly increasing heat.

"If this is cold, I'd hate to see what he considers hot…" Salty murmured, dousing her in water to cool her off. She smiled gratefully at him.

"Before you go, I think you have something that belongs to me, dude," Zippo said.

Surtrit blinked. "Huh? What're you talking about?"

"The Flame Plate. It's mine. Give it back!" Zippo demanded.

"What? Oh, come on! Do you have any idea how long I've wanted to get my hands on something like this?" Surtrit whined.

"I don't care! I found it first! Give it back!" Zippo shouted.

"Oh yeah? And what if I don't want to?" the fire elemental asked, standing up to his full height. He would have covered the Charmeleon in his shadow, except that he was completely on fire and so had no shadow.

Zippo paused, realizing this was a very good question. "Then…um…I'll have the dudettes who summoned you make you give it back!"

"Oh, please! They're not the bosses of me!" Surtrit said.

"Surtrit, give him back ze Flame Plate," Fantina ordered.

"But-" he protested.

"NOW!" Fantina, Rebecca, and Lily shouted.

He sulked. "Oh, fine. Here." Reluctantly he gripped the embossed flame on his chest and pulled on it, causing his armor to shudder and retract into it, shrinking and compressing into a plain red rectangle that was just barely visible in his massive claws. He sullenly tossed the Plate to Zippo, who eagerly caught it, then yelped in pain and dropped it to the ground, the artifact too hot even for his hands. Pouting, Surtrit folded his arms over his ridiculously chiseled chest, causing Bruno to feel a little self-conscious...and not just because of his musculature. Quite a lot of Surtrit's body was exposed now that he was no longer clad in armor… "There. You've made me give up a prize I've been craving for millennia. Can I go now?"

"Yes," Fantina said.

"Fine. Oh, hey, am I still invited for that thing next month?" Surtrit asked hopefully. "I've been looking forward to it for a while."

"So long as you wear somezing decent," Fantina said.

"What, seriously? But I'm totally out of clothes! Do you have any idea how hard it is to find something that won't burst into flames the second I touch it?" Surtrit whined.

"You can't wear something fireproof?" Silvia suggested.

"Those burst into flames too! When most people fireproof stuff, they don't usually have a guy like me in mind," Surtrit complained.

"No tux, no tie, no entry," Fantina said firmly.

"Oh, _fine_," Surtrit said in exasperation. "I'll see what I can do. Oh well, at least you didn't say anything about pants." Before Fantina could say that he _did_, in fact, have to wear pants, he vanished in a burst of flame that singed the eyebrows of everyone who had been standing too close. Those of whom had eyebrows, anyway.

Fantina huffed in annoyance. "Well! 'Ow rude, 'e didn't even say goodbye! 'Onestly, it's times like zis I wonder why I ever associate myself wiz him!"

"Because-" Bow started.

"Ozzer zan zat!" Fantina interjected.

"…You're summoning him again in a month for a 'thing?'" Lily asked in confusion. "What kind of 'thing' is that?"

"A formal party, I'm guessing, if the dress code is anything to go by," Leo assumed.

Diane nodded. "Yes, just a little get-together Her Grace holds once a decade or so."

"Oh! Can I come?" Silvia asked hopefully.

"Sorry, it's for masters of Fire magic only," Butler said.

"Oh," Silvia said, slumping in disappointment.

"Well, I never!" Goldor growled to himself. "How disgustingly decadent and exclusive!"

"But Dad, don't you throw parties all the time that only a few select people can attend, and thumb your metaphorical nose at everyone you don't invite?" Buck asked.

"Yes, but none of my parties are ever attended by the ruler of a whole other dimension!" Goldor snapped.

"Didn't we have some of the Vanir over just the other day for croquet?" Silvia recalled.

"Yes, but those are the _Vanir_, they show up at every party, even the ones they aren't invited to, lousy bunch of freeloaders," Goldor grumbled.

"Fire, eh? I, uh, don't suppose that I could come?" Zippo asked hopefully, gingerly touching the still-smoldering Flame Plate with a toe to see if it was okay to pick up. He flinched and hopped back, finding it still too hot.

"Mmm…I suppose so," Fantina said.

"Radical! Can I bring a date?" Zippo asked. Rose's face lit up hopefully.

"Sure," Fantina said.

"Awesome!" Zippo cheered, high…appendaging Rose.

"Oooh, can Lily and I come too?" Leo asked.

"Leo, I-I don't think I qualify to go to an event like-" Lily protested.

"Of course you can come, dear," Fantina said.

"Wh-what?" Lily cried in surprise as Leo whooped and punched the air. "But, but I'm not nearly powerful or experienced enough!"

"Considering that you helped summon Surtrit and nearly killed Bellum, I'd say you're more than welcome to attend," Diane said, causing Lily to blush.

"Hmmm…" Goldor hummed, narrowing his eyes. "Buck, that settles it, you're marrying the Fire Countess the week after next."

"I thought I was going to marry the heiress to the Grammy-Meier hot Growlithe empire," Buck said.

"Not anymore you're not!" Goldor said. Buck rolled his eyes, certain that this latest engagement would be forgotten in a few days' time and replaced with some other prospective marriage to further his father's ambition…as usual.

"Well, this was certainly an interesting day," Briney commented.

"And so will tomorrow, if what Bellum and Cherry said is anything to go by," Pikachu said, shaking his head wearily.

"It is," Sasha said. "I can feel it brewing on the horizon…we are not yet out of danger."

"Oh, great," Ash groaned, plopping on his rear in exhaustion. "As if what we faced today wasn't bad enough? I can't even imagine what they're going to throw at us next…"

Looker sighed and shook his head. "This is definitely not what I signed up for when I joined the force."

"Well, there's an easy way to avoid all this, isn't there?" Bruno suggested. "The Nihilators can only attack us tomorrow if we're somewhere that can be attacked. Why don't we all just teleport or portal or take another form of transportation to get to Fichina immediately? That way we'll all get to safety and the vampires and Team Aurabolt and anyone else here with some evidence against the Nihilators can testify at the tribunal, Team Getem can get those Plates they've been looking for, Todd can deliver his pictures to his newspaper's office, Sam and George can start their search for Bellum, Looker can…uh, do whatever he's doing, and most importantly, I can get paid."

They all perked up at this. "Hey, that's a brilliant idea!" Pikachu said.

"Indeed! In fact it's so brilliant, I have to wonder why we didn't just do that in the first place, rather than riding on a train and making an easy target," Vladimir commented.

"…I like riding trains," Fantina said shiftily. "And besides, taking ze scenic route is more fun!" Lily frowned. From the uneasy looks on Fantina and her retinue's faces, it was clear there was something else behind this…something she wasn't saying.

"More fun, perhaps, but also infinitely more life-threatening!" Goldor said. "Right, let's get in touch with the authorities in Fichina, and they'll send someone over to start cleaning up this mess and take us safely home. Then we can put all this nastiness behind us and go on with our lives. What do you all say?"

They all nodded, seeing reason in this…except for Cherry, who shook her head. "We must not. What will take place tomorrow is something we cannot turn our backs on. If we run from this fight, many will suffer and the future of the world may be in jeopardy."

"Oh, come on!" Rebecca shrieked as everyone groaned. "What _now?_ Are the Nihilators going to destroy some other town if we don't show up? Are they going to blow up a country? Split a continent in half? _Boil the oceans?_ What is so Arceusdamned important about tomorrow that we can't just _skip_ it and go home?"

"Lugia," Cherry said.

Ash stiffened, and everyone stared at Cherry in surprise. "…I'm sorry, could you repeat that?" asked the startled Rebecca.

"Lugia," Cherry repeated, pushing past the Frillish to stare into Ash's eyes.

Leo snapped his fingers. "Oh yeah, that's right! The Nihilators have Lugia, don't they?"

Pikachu nodded. "Manaphy told us he'd helped them capture him when we fought him."

"Right before we beat him up and Kyogre ate him," Briney said smugly.

"Wait…Manaphy's evil? And _dead?_" Zippo cried in horror.

Team Aurabolt exchanged guilty looks, belatedly remembering that Zippo was a priest of Manaphy. "Oh…uh…don't worry, I'm sure by now he's been reincarnated somewhere out there as a good Pokémon…" Leo said quickly.

"Yes, the latest report from home indicated that Manaphy's children, the Phione, would like to move into Pokémon Square since they can't find a home anywhere else. They said they'd dropped Manaphy's egg off with someone they believed could raise him properly, so he could have a fresh start," Pikachu said.

"Oh! Well, that's good, then," Zippo said in relief. "But he was a bad guy for a while? Well, now I know why my surfing's been suffering lately…and why I've occasionally had urges to take over the world."

"Me too, buy I don't _think_ Shaymin's evil, so that's probably all me," Leo said. His friends gave him disturbed looks.

"Manaphy became evil, died, and was reborn elsewhere? Why does nobody tell me these things?" Bruno demanded.

"Actually, this is the first time most of us have heard about that, too," Looker said.

"Oh," Bruno said, relieved that he wasn't the only one who'd been in the dark about this.

"Lugia…they're going to send Lugia against us?" Ash demanded.

Cherry nodded. "And just like the other legendary Pokémon in the Nihilators' service, he's been transformed into a Shadow Pokémon…but where the three birds' hearts grew dark long ago and they joined the forces of evil willingly, Lugia was tortured and twisted and broken until his heart was closed and he was transformed into a monster. As such…there is still a chance that he can be purified and redeemed. However, only an Aura Guardian is capable of this, and even then…it must be you, Ash."

"Why him? Ritchie's an Aura Guardian too," Salty pointed out, looking as disturbed as everyone else at the news that Lugia had been transformed into a weapon of evil.

"Because I'm the Chosen One," Ash said resignedly.

Everyone gasped. "Wait…the Chosen One? The legendary hero who is fated to save the world and restore balance to Creation?" Goldor cried in incredulously.

"_You_ are ze one spoken of in prophecy?" Fantina said incredulously.

"Funny, I zought 'e'd be older," Bow commented.

"And taller," Butler agreed.

"And handsomer," Diane said. Everyone looked at her. "What? Like you weren't thinking it too?"

Cherry nodded. "He is indeed the Chosen One…and a special bond exists between him and Lugia, from an adventure they shared long ago, a destiny they fulfilled together. It is that bond that will allow their hearts to link, and release the light that has been imprisoned. Only you can do this, Ash. If you are not there to meet the Nihilators when they launch their attack—if there is nobody for them _to_ attack—there is no telling what target they will use Lugia against instead, and no guarantee that you will be able to purify him before you and your friends confront the Nihilators for the final battle. If they still control Lugia when that happens, it will be nearly impossible for you to prevail."

Ash nodded resolutely, his unhappiness about his fate being decided for him diminishing at the realization that he had to help Lugia, that he could not possibly choose any other course of action. "I understand. I'll save him. You have my promise on that…and when I make a promise, I do my best to keep it!"

"Which means we're in, too," Pikachu said.

Leo nodded. "Yeah, any fight you're part of is one that involves the rest of us too!"

"You can count on us," Lily agreed.

"I can sense you will need all the help you can get…which is why we will be there beside you," Sasha said.

"And besides, it'll give me another chance to punch out a god," Briney said with a grin.

Ash smirked. "There's no point in my even trying to talk you guys out of this, huh?"

"Nope!" Pikachu said. "And I'm sure Tiny and Dawn will say the same thing, once they get back here!"

Ash chuckled. "I figured…well, I'm glad to have you with me all the same."

"You will need them," Cherry said. "Because it will not only be Lugia the Nihilators will throw at you. Among other things—which I shall elaborate on later—Articuno will be back, along with the other two legendary birds."

Leo whistled, impressed. "Whoa, they're sending _all_ of them after us? Huh, they really want us dead, don't they?"

"That's a bit of an understatement," Pikachu said.

"Ash, as you've found out today, it is your destiny to defeat the legendary birds and end the blight they have cast upon our world once and for all. Much like Lugia, if you do not do it now, when they will all be gathered against you, it will be much more difficult to defeat them later," Cherry said.

Ash nodded. "All right. I'm looking forward to finishing what I started with Articuno."

"Wait, it's your destiny to kill the bird trio? Since when?" Pikachu asked.

"I'm pretty sure that's not in the prophecy of the Chosen One…" Looker murmured.

"It's not. Basically, since I killed the bird trio after they attacked my friends and I on a flimsy justification a thousand years ago, just before the great cataclysm, I've apparently been designated to execute them permanently to punish them for all the crimes they've committed over their long lifetimes," Ash explained.

"Wait, you _killed_ the birds once? And were alive a thousand years ago? Why does nobody tell me-" Bruno started.

"Look, we'll explain everything later, okay?" Pikachu said wearily.

Ash nodded. "Yeah, it's a long story, and not one I enjoy telling."

"I have no problem with it!" Leo said cheerfully. Ash glared at him. "What? What you did back then was totally badass! You should be proud of it! I hope I get to do something as cool as that someday!" Ash put his face in his hands and groaned.

"I'm…not sure I'm okay with you killing gods," Sparky said dubiously. "But…if you intend to battle such formidable opponents, then I suppose we shall have to postpone getting to Fichina until we take care of this. Ritchie's not here right now, but I'm sure he'd agree with me once he gets back from…wherever he is."

"Which means we're all in too," Lu said.

"Um, actually-" Happy started.

"_We're all in too,_" Lu repeated. The rest of Team Getem gulped and nodded quickly.

Todd sighed. "I really do need to get these pictures back to the office…but what the Abyss! It sounds like there's going to be even better opportunities for pictures if I tag along! You can count me in too!"

"We shall be zere as well," Fantina declared.

"What? But, but Mistress-" Butler protested.

"No buts, Butler, I'm going," Fantina said.

"But in your current condition-" Diane argued.

"I will be fine tomorrow. Ash and 'is friends stood by me yesterday and agreed to 'elp me fight Bellum. Now I must repay ze favor. And besides…if Lily's fighting, zen I 'ave to be zere to make sure nozing 'appens to 'er! I've only just now found 'er after centuries of looking, so I'm not going to let her slip away!" Fantina said.

Lily blushed. "F-Fantina…"

"Oh well, I guess I'll be zere too," Bow said. "Not like I 'ad any pressing social engagements tomorrow, anyway."

Butler sighed. "There's no point in us trying to convince you otherwise, is there?"

"_Non_," Fantina said. "Just like zere is none in trying to convince _you_ ozzerwise, yes?"

"Yes," Diane and Butler groaned.

"Zen it's settled! We're all going!" Fantina said cheerfully.

"Well, uh, good luck to you, Vlad and Bob and I'll just take one of those alternative transports you mentioned and meet you in Fichina-" Dean started.

"No, we're going too," Vladimir said.

"Oh come on!" Dean screamed. "Why? They'll probably attack in broad daylight, we'll be completely useless!"

"We have to be there, because if the Nihilators don't think we're on board the train, they might not bother attacking," Vladimir pointed out.

"…Oh," Dean said disgruntledly, hating how much sense that made. Bob drooled on his foot obliviously.

"Well, I'm still being paid to protect you guys, so I'm in too," Bruno said. "But how are we going to convince the train crew to take the Enchanted Express into more danger?"

"With money, and lots of it!" Goldor said. "I'll throw Poké at them until they're willing to take us where we want to go! After all, for enough money, any mon will walk barefoot into the Abyss! Wearing a blindfold! With a big 'EAT ME' sign hanging from their neck! Well, okay, maybe not that last part…"

"Dear! Then does that mean we're going as well?" Silvia asked hopefully.

"Of course! We can't let those Nihilators think they can frighten us away or boss us around! And besides, we took down a frost giant, what's a few measly birds?" Goldor boasted. He didn't mention that he also didn't want to lose face in front of Fantina. If she toughed it out while he and his family ran away, that certainly wouldn't look good in the circles they both shared. People would be snickering at him behind his back and calling him a coward! Well, he'd show them that Goldor Goldorrington feared nothing, and was just as big and heroic a mon as Fantina Fantasma! Let's see them laugh at that!

"Do I actually get a choice this time?" Buck groaned.

"Of course you do," Silvia said.

"Really?" Buck asked, perking up.

"Certainly. If you wish to go home, we'll send you there straight away," Goldor said.

"Cool! But…oh…you're not coming with me, are you?" Buck asked. His parents shook their heads. "Then I'm definitely staying. We should fight as a family. We're stronger that way! We proved that today, right?"

Goldor chuckled. "We certainly did! Then your mind is made up?"

"Oh yeah! I'm not leaving! No way in heck!" Buck said.

"Then you're welcome to stay!" Silvia said, giving him a hug.

"Let me guess, you're going to tell me that I have no choice but to come along?" Rebecca asked Cherry in resignation.

"No," Cherry said. "If you don't want to come, you don't have to."

Rebecca blinked in surprise. "Huh? Really?"

"Sure. You already died, and once is enough for most people. There's no need for you to risk your new unlife a second time," Cherry said.

"Oh! Well…in that case, I guess I'll…" She paused and narrowed her eyes. "Waaaaiiiit a minute. What about you?"

"Oh, I'm staying," Cherry said.

"What! But why?" Rebecca protested.

"To make sure my vision of the future comes true," Cherry said. "If I wasn't there to help make sure everything turned out okay, I would never be able to forgive myself if something bad happened."

"…Dammit. I really hate you sometimes, you know that?" Rebecca growled. "Fine, I'm staying too."

Cherry gave her a surprised look. "What? Really?"

"Yeah…if I left, I'd be constantly worrying about what happened to you and wondering if there was something I could have done to help," Rebecca said with a sigh. "And besides, if I'm going to die (again) it might as well be with my best friend."

Cherry blinked, and then broke out into a warm smile. "Thank you, Rebecca."

"I'll fight with the rest of you," Looker announced. "It's my duty as an International Police detective to take down crooks, and right now there's no crooks bigger than the Nihilators!" _And besides, I can't let my perp have the chance to make a break for it…I've been on the trail for so long, and soon I'll finally have the chance to make a collar!_

Sam frowned, looking conflicted. "What's wrong, Sam?" George asked.

"I can't decide whether I should stay on the train or go ahead to Fichina," Sam said, grinding his teeth. "On the one hand, I really want to take out my anger on something, and these Nihilators sound like a good target. On the other hand, the faster I get to Fichina, the faster I can start looking for Max."

"Well, whatever you decide, I'll stick with you," George promised.

"…Thanks," Sam said, surprised to find himself smiling at her.

Ash was smiling too, at everyone else. "Thank you, all of you. I'd try and talk you out of it, say this isn't your fight…but since the Nihilators already tried to kill us once today, I guess that makes it everyone's battle. I'll be happy to have you with me."

"Don't mention it," Sparky said.

"After all, 'ow many people get to say zey purified and/or killed some Legendary Pokémon alongside ze 'onest-to-goodness Chosen One?" Bow said.

"You're going to have to explain that part to me, by the way…along with a lot of other things," Bruno said.

"I'll see what I can do," Ash said wearily. "Anyway…I wonder where Ritchie, Tiny, Cruise, Dawn, and Kairyu are? They're the only ones who aren't here…"

"We're on our way!" Ritchie's voice echoed from Ash's badge, causing everyone to jump in surprise.

"Ritchie? Is that you?" Sparky called excitedly.

"Yeah, and I'm with Cruise and Tiny," Ritchie said.

"Hey guys!" Cruise said through the badge.

"Daddy, are you all right? What happened?" Tiny asked in concern.

"It's a bit of a long story. Basically, Shivhel froze everybody, including us, then brought me here to give to Bellum, but then a big fiery guy called Surtrit showed up and saved the day," Ash explained.

"Which is why everything's back to normal, I take it?" Cruise asked.

"Pretty much, yeah," Ash said.

"Darn, we missed out on the big fight!" Ritchie complained.

"Don't worry, Ritchie, there'll be an even bigger one tomorrow," Sparky promised.

"Yeah, and you'll get a second shot at Articuno, too!" Zippo added.

"Articuno? Wait…she's still alive?" Ritchie cried.

Ash winced. "Yeah. Bellum sent her away. She and the other legendary birds are going to be attacking us tomorrow along with a huge Nihilator attack force, according to Cherry."

"And Lugia'll be there too," Leo added.

"Whoa, seriously? That's going to be an incredible fight! You're not going up against all of them alone, are you?" Ritchie asked in concern.

"No, everybody here's agreed to help," Ash said.

"Including us," Sparky said. "I didn't have your input, but I was fairly certain you'd choose to take part in the battle too."

"Well, you were right! You can count me in! Team Getem will back you up one hundred percent!" Ritchie said.

Ash grinned, as did his friends. "I'm glad to hear that…and Tiny, are you okay?"

"Yeah. Sorry we didn't call sooner, but my badge wasn't working properly. A little while after all the big explosions we saw off in the distance faded, though, it started working again," Tiny explained.

"It must have been all the clashing elemental energy in the air from Shivhel and Surtrit fighting…it probably interfered with your communicators," Rebecca said. "Now that they're both gone, they should be working properly again."

Pikachu's eyes widened. "Then that means…" He tapped his badge. "Dawn, come in, this is Pikachu. Can you hear me? Dawn?"

There was a long and nerve-wracking silence, before finally there was a response. "Pikachu, this is Kairyu. I hear you."

Pikachu's eyes widened in alarm. "What? Kairyu? Where's Dawn?" Everyone exchanged worried looks.

"Right here. I'm using her badge communicator, after all! Unfortunately, she's not able to talk right now. She took a _lot_ of damage during the battle, and while I've done my best to mend her wounds, she's going to need more healing and some bed rest before she's in tip-top shape again. The same could probably be said of myself, of course…that fight really took a lot out of me!" Palmer said.

Pikachu sighed in relief. "Thank goodness…I was really worried for a minute."

"Nah, everything's fine. Well…except…" Palmer hesitated.

"We know," Pikachu said. "You didn't kill Paul. None of us were able to kill our targets, either. All of them, including Bellum, escaped."

"…I see. That is most distressing news," Palmer said after a moment.

"Yeah, tell me about it," Zippo grumbled.

"Dammit…we _had_ him! He was completely helpless! We were just about to kill him when that…that ice wave thing came out of nowhere and blindsided us!" Palmer snarled.

"Ze same zing 'appened to all of us," Bow said sadly.

Fantina nodded. "We came very close to ending ze zreat zey posed once and for all…but zanks to Shiv'el's interference, zey will all live to kill anozzer day."

"This isn't how it was supposed to happen," Palmer said miserably. "We were going to do it. We told ourselves that we would, that today was the day that that bastard would die, that he'd pay for everything he's done…but he got away. We failed. _Again._"

Pikachu closed his eyes. "I know. I'm sorry. Not as sorry as you, I know, but…I wanted him dead too. All of us did."

"Not as much as we did," Palmer said bitterly.

"I know, but we wanted him gone all the same," Pikachu said. "Which is why next time you take him on, we'll all be there to help you. No more of this solo act or 'this is something only I can do' thing, Dawn's part of our team, which means we'll always have her back, and yours, if you're fighting beside her."

"…Thank you, Pikachu. I will remember that," Palmer said gratefully.

"So will I, just in case you 'forget,'" Pikachu said with a smirk.

"Why do they both want Paul dead so much?" Bruno asked.

"Dawn and Paul came from the same ninja clan, but Paul went insane and killed everyone but her," Briney explained.

"Not sure what Kairyu's deal is, though," Leo said.

"Paul killed his son," Pikachu explained. He hadn't told any of the others Palmer's secret identity, and for the moment he had no intention of telling them, guilty as it made him to be keeping secrets from his friends.

"Ah, that'd do it," Leo said.

"I see," Bruno said. He blinked. "Wait…Dawn's a ninja? Why does nobody-"

"Okay, that's getting a little old," Looker said.

"Oh. Sorry," Bruno apologized.

"Hmm? Oh, I think Dawn wants to talk to you. Hold on," Palmer said.

There was some rather loud fumbling on the other end, followed by some familiar clicking. _Master?_ Dawn tapped.

"I'm here, Dawn," Pikachu said.

_I'm sorry. We failed._

"I know. It's okay. It wasn't your fault. Everyone else failed to kill their targets due to Shivhel's intervention. If it weren't for her, the world would now be out several very evil Pokémon," Pikachu said.

_We had him. We _had_ him. Just another few seconds, and he would have breathed his last,_ Dawn said angrily. _I swore on my honor and the memory of my clan that I would kill Paul today. I have let my family, and myself down, again. This is inexcusable._

"Wrong," Pikachu said. "I'm excusing it, and as your master—and future husband-that means my orders supercede your shame or guilt or whatever…I think. You did everything you could do, and there's nothing to feel angry at yourself about. It wasn't your fault he got away. So remember that before you think of doing something stupid like committing seppuku or whatever, because you still have a lot of friends who care about you—and me—and none of us want to see you dead or unhappy. Come back and get some rest, and we can plan out how to take down Paul the next time we meet him…as a team. Got it?" There was no reply. "I said, 'Got it?'" Pikachu repeated, a little sharply.

…_Yes Master. I understand. We will return shortly,_ Dawn said. _…And thank you._

"Good. We look forward to seeing you soon," Pikachu said, smiling.

"Whoa! So you're finally admitting you're gonna marry her, huh?" Leo asked.

Pikachu shrugged. "Well, it's looking inevitable by this point. Might as well."

"Congratulations, lad! It's about time!" Briney said, smacking Pikachu on the back so hard he fell over.

"I'm not entirely sure what the point is, since you already seemed committed to each other, but congratulations all the same," Sasha added.

"Um…I'm sure the wedding will be very nice…" Lily said timidly. "We, uh, are all invited…aren't we?"

"Of course! There's no way I'd turn my friends away," Pikachu said, much to her relief.

_Plus, it'll give me a chance to figure out what to do to make _my_ wedding better,_ Leo thought with an evil grin.

"Everything they just said applies to us too, you realize," Sparky said to Lu.

"Hmm?" the Glaceon said.

"Rodrigo Borjia. The mon who orchestrated the downfall of your family. When you find him again, you aren't taking him down alone, got it?" Sparky said.

She gave him a surprised look. "I…_Grazie._ Thank you. I will be happy to have friends like you by my side when I kill that _bastardo_."

"I think he was talking about the wedding part too. Can I come?" Zippo asked hopefully.

"We'll see," Sparky said, causing the Charmeleon to sulk in disappointment.

"Heh, it sounds like things are getting pretty interesting over there," Ritchie said over Ash's badge.

"They certainly are," Ash replied. "You and the boys should get down here soon. How much longer do you think it'll take you to get here?"

"I can Teleport over to them and pick them up if they're really far off," Diane offered.

"Nah, according to the locator thing on Tiny's badge, we're almost there. This is a really nifty gadget. I can't believe our badges don't have those!" Ritchie said.

"Hmm, that gives me an idea…" Zippo said, a lightbulb going off in his head. "And maybe I could install a communicator like theirs too, while I'm at it, so we can keep in touch more easily if we get separated."

"That's actually a really good idea," Sparky admitted. "I'm surprised we didn't set up something like that sooner."

"Ooh, can I help?" Leo asked hopefully. "I've been tinkering with my own badge to figure out how it works and try and boost its power, and I think I'm _this_ close to rewiring the latent teleport circuits so I can jump from wherever I am to anyone else with a badge in the vicinity if we somehow got split up."

"Oh wow, that sounds awesome!" Zippo gushed. "I'd love to be able to do something like that! And maybe while we're at it, we can install deflector shields?"

"And lasers!" Leo said enthusiastically.

"And retractable armor similar to the Plates of Arceus, so we'll be protected even if the bad guys manage to take them from us!" Zippo said.

"And holographic projectors!" Leo said.

"And this would be why we didn't do it sooner," Salty said as Sparky's eye twitched while Leo and Zippo rambled about all the cool things they could do with their badges.

"Uh, wow, sounds like they're having fun," Ritchie said. "We'll be there soon to join in."

"And then we can have a victory celebration!" Cruise said excitedly.

"Um…we _did_ win, didn't we? I mean, is everyone okay?" Tiny asked worriedly.

"Yeah, all of us are fine," Ash assured Tiny.

"Not me," Rebecca said. "I died."

"…Then how are you talking to me?" asked a confused Tiny.

"I got better," Rebecca said.

"Oh," Tiny said.

Ash chuckled and shook his head…and then got a serious look on his face. "Yeah, we won…but to be honest, I'm not sure it feels like it." He gazed out at the desolation surrounding him. Every last vestige of Dusty Ditch had been completely destroyed, all the buildings and streets trampled and crushed and flattened and exploded and burnt down several times over. The ground had been cratered and cracked and split open so many times the landscape was thoroughly jagged and schizophrenic. Very few of the surrounding mountains were still standing, and those that were had been pitted and scarred and looked like they were slowly crumbling even now. And that didn't even get into all the blood that was soaking into the ground, or the countless corpses of townsPokémon and monsters in various states of decay and disrepair that, for some reason, hadn't vanished back to Niflheim when the rest of their kind were drawn away. Some of the corpses were relatively intact, but others had been badly pulverized and torn apart by the titanic struggles that had reshaped the region, and it made his stomach churn just to look at them. It was a marvel that the train tracks leading in and out of the valley were still intact, but he supposed that could be chalked up to magic more than anything else. Everyone else stared out at the ruins of the town as if seeing them for the first time, their faces taking on stricken and distraught expressions at the carnage they had left in the wake of their battle. Even Todd briefly wondered if this was too much, too awful, too depressing to take a picture of…then he went and did it anyway, not because he wanted the bonus it would probably add to his paycheck (well, okay, maybe a little) but also because people had to know what had happened in Dusty Ditch, the full truth, even if it wasn't very pretty. "We beat the bad guys, but we didn't save anyone," Ash continued solemnly. "We barely even managed to save ourselves."

"And I died," Rebecca reminded everyone.

"You got better," Cherry pointed out.

"Yeah, but still. I died," Rebecca said insistently.

"So no, we aren't going to hold a victory celebration, because this isn't really much of a victory," Ash said sadly. "There is one thing we can do, though."

"What?" Ritchie asked.

"A memorial."

…

Some time later…

Eventually, the wayward Ritchie, Cruise, Tiny, Palmer, and Dawn made it back to the town ruins. They were all overjoyed to be reunited with their friends, but appalled to see the destruction that had happened in their absence. Understanding Ash's feelings, they agreed that something needed to be done to honor the memory of the people who lived here, the people whose lives had been destroyed by Bellum…all to try and kill them. In a way, they felt responsible for the destruction of Dusty Ditch, and guilty for not being able to save the people here. The least they could do was give the citizens of Dusty Ditch a proper funeral, to 'put their spirits at ease,' as Rebecca said it.

So while the train crew worked on repairing the damage Surtrit had done to the roof of the engine car, the main engineer grumbling and cursing all the while and swearing she'd get revenge on the fire elemental some day if it was the last thing she did, the passengers of the Enchanted Express spent the rest of the day trying to clean up some of the mess they had made while fighting the forces of Niflheim. Even as tired as they were from their long battles, they still had enough power left to clear away rubble and debris with their magic, Psychic powers, super strength, and other remarkable abilities, allowing them to retrieve any bodies buried within…or what was left of them, anyway. It was grueling, bloody, unpleasant work, and certainly not the kind of thing people like the Goldorringtons, who were used to living in the lap of luxury and letting other people do the dirty jobs for them, were at all comfortable with, but when they saw how everyone else was doing the same grim task without complaint, they swallowed their pride and helped as best they could. They collected as many remains of the citizens of Dusty Ditch as they could, leaving the monster corpses where they lay, unable to bring themselves to give them a decent funeral as well. Besides, once they left people from Fichina and elsewhere would descend on the valley to take stock of the destruction and see what, if anything, could be rebuilt in the wake of this great disaster, and they were sure there was _something_ they could do with the husks of the beasts of Niflheim.

Eventually, they managed to gather as many bodies as they could in one place. By this time, the Sun was setting, and the shadows had lengthened enough for the vampires to discard their umbrellas for the moment and help out more. They stacked the corpses in a large heap in the center of the valley and had Leo, Zippo, and a somewhat reluctant Sasha say a few words in their position as the closest thing among them to holy mons. After they'd stumbled through the funerary rites for their respective religions to the best of their ability, they set fire to the bodies, using the power of the Flame Plate to burn hot and bright enough to reduce them to ashes in moments, a funeral pyre that could be seen from miles away. And once the flames stopped burning and there was nothing left of the bodies but dust, Rose and Bow used wind magic to send them flying away, scattering them across the land. Sasha watched them go, lamenting the loss of life…and the loss of good meat. She hadn't even been allowed to have a single bite. Not that she had been really tempted, the unclean way most of the villagers had died repulsed her, but still.

"This is the second time on our watch that the Nihilators have destroyed a place and killed lots of people before we could stop them," Ash said finally. It was the first thing he had said since they had started working on their macabre task.

"Let's make sure there won't be a third time," Pikachu said, holding the half-asleep battle-scarred Dawn's paw as they watched the ashes spread out into the distance.

With the dead disposed of, there was only one more thing left for them to do before they could rest. They gathered stone and wood and metal from around the valley and used magic to fuse it together on the spot where they had burned the villagers' remains, creating a shimmering block of composite material. A bowl was placed on top, and a magical flame was ignited in it, a flame that would burn forever, even long after every one of them, and maybe the world itself, was gone. An epitaph was carved onto the front, with yesterday's and that day's date and the words, '_On this day, a great atrocity was committed. The people of Dusty Ditch were slain to fuel a mad witch's scheme to bring an everlasting winter to this land. With the tireless efforts of a group of heroes who were in the right place at the right time, her plan was thwarted, but not in time to save the people of this town. This flame shall burn forever in their memory, so that all will remember what happened in Dusty Ditch, both the glory and the tragedy. Let us never forget their loss, and the depths to which evil will stoop to destroy all that we cherish…as well as the lengths good will go to to stop them.'_

By the time they finished, night had fallen, and one by one the stars started appearing in the dark sky above them. They stared at the marker and the eternal flame, worn-out and utterly exhausted after all the things they had done that day, in repelling Niflheim and paying their respects to the fallen. There was a great deal of melancholy in the air as their earlier optimism and confidence was overshadowed by the harsh reality they had been forced to confront, and the very real possibility that somebody might be erecting a similar monument to them by the end of the next day. More than a few of them cried, and friends and loved ones clustered together, drawing strength from each other, while those who had no one stood apart, suffering in silence…until the others extended a hand, offering to share in their grief, reminding them that in this hour, none of them were alone.

And it was then that something marvelous happened, a reminder that in spite of all the terrible things that had happened to the inhabitants of Dusty Ditch, all the bad things Bellum and all the other villains in the world were capable of, there was still a sliver of light to be found even in the deepest darkness. "Oh!" Happy gasped, her antenna stiffening. "My…my children! They're coming out!"

Everyone looked at her in astonishment. "What? Already?" Ritchie cried.

"I thought they weren't going to be out for another few months!" Sparky said.

"Neither did I, but it looks like all the heat Surtrit generated from that volcano, and all the other energy that saturated the valley from all the fighting we had, has sped up their maturation cycle to the point that they're coming out…well, right now!" Happy said.

"Wow, what a coincidence that it would happen to take place not only before we could leave, but right after we had a really depressing moment, giving us renewed strength and the drive to continue on!" Zippo said.

"…Seriously? That's a bit contrived even for us, isn't it?" Pikachu asked incredulously.

"Not really, when else would they come out?" Leo asked.

"I don't know, like maybe after we left? Or any other time in the near or distant future?" Pikachu asked.

"What, and risk doing it when nobody's around to see them? Where's the drama in that?" Leo asked. Pikachu groaned and looked for a rock to bash his head against.

"Wait, if their maturation cycle's sped up, won't that also mean their lives will be drastically shortened and they'll probably die in a few days?" Lu asked.

"Yes, but they'll live to the fullest in those few days, and find plenty of other Bugs to mate with before that happens so they can know their genes will live on in the next generation, making me a grandmother several times over!" Happy said.

Salty shook his head in bemusement. "Considering how many other children you've already had, both from use of the Insect Plate and otherwise, I'm surprised half the Bugs in the world aren't descended from you."

"It's something to shoot for. Maybe someday," Happy said, causing Salty to sweatdrop.

"Oooh! So we're going to see ze miracle of life in action! 'ow fascinating!" Fantina said.

"And welcome, after all the death we've drowned ourselves in since getting here," Rebecca agreed, her spirits rising. (Literally. They were excited, too.)

"Oh mon, this is going to be so cool!" Todd said excitedly. He frowned and looked at the sky. "Too bad the lighting's pretty awful. I'll have to use my night lens." He took out a pair of night-vision goggles and strapped them on his head.

"When's it gonna happen? When's it gonna happen?" Tiny asked giddily.

"I think it's starting…can't you feel it? There's something in the air…" Palmer said.

_It sounds like something's humming,_ Dawn said, ear twitching.

Palmer chuckled. "That's what I meant."

It did indeed sound like someone was humming. Not just one person, but several, and the noise was growing louder. They looked around, trying to pinpoint it, before finally spotting the behemoth hulk of one of the dead frost giants, which under the starlight was almost indistinguishable from the other hills or mounds or rock formations that had sprouted up everywhere as a consequence of all the earth-shaking upheavals. As they looked on in amazement, and Leo and Zippo eagerly started recording on their digital cameras, lumps started forming on the dead giant's skin, lumps that wriggled and multiplied rapidly, the humming growing in intensity as more and more of them appeared. One by one, the lumps began to glow, and brilliant shafts of white light tore out of them and shot into the sky, creating a dazzling light show that illuminated the entire valley and bathed them all in its austere radiance.

The train workers stopped their repairs on the Enchanted Express and looked up like everyone else, jaws dropping in awe at the brilliant display. "What…what is that?" asked the stunned Gastly conductor.

"That light…it's…the light of evolution," the Grumpig guard whispered.

The Ampharos engineer shook her head in wonder. "And they call what _we_ do magic?"

The humming grew louder and louder as the light increased, but not loud enough to be annoying. Rather, there was a rather sooming quality to it, a harmony that gently washed over them and made them feel at ease, the aches and pains they had accumulated throughout the day seeming to fade away. One or two of them nearly dozed off, but were shaken back to consciousness by their friends. This was a good thing too, or else they would have missed the best part, when the light began to fade…

And Happy's children flew out full-grown, wings spread and buzzing energetically, the rapid movement of so many limbs blending together to create the wondrous humming filling their ears. There was an astonishing variety to the insects that vacated the giant's carcass and rose into the air. There were Butterfree and Beedrill, Venomoths and Scizors, Ledians, Yanmegas, Heracrosses, Beautiflies and Dustoxes, Masquerains, Ninjask and Shedinjas, Volbeats and Illumises, Mothims, Vespiquens, Escavaliers and Accelgors, and even some Volcaronas. They happily flew over the amazed Pokémon on the ground, weaving and dancing about each other in complex and graceful patterns, residual light from their premature evolution still being generated by their bodies and causing them to seem to glow beautifully from within.

"It's so beautiful…" Lily whispered, floating close to Leo.

"Yeah," he agreed wordlessly, no longer looking through the viewfinder of his camera so that he could stare up at the spectacle with his own eyes. "It is."

"You know, this reminds me of the day we first met," Lu said, leaning against Sparky. "There were lights in the sky then, too."

"Those were explosions caused by us destroying the lair of the monster that was terrorizing Leo's village," Sparky said.

"Yes, but it was still beautiful," Lu said.

"So were you," Sparky said.

She laughed. "Oh, you," she said, kissing him passionately.

"Dang!" Ritchie said. "Too bad Melody's not here…she'd love this!"

"I'm not sure my girl would," Ash said. "She's scared of Bugs."

"Really? That's a shame. She'd be missing out on something as great as this, then," Ritchie said.

"She's missing out on a _lot_ of great things right now," Ash pointed out.

"…Yeah," Ritchie sighed. "So's my Melody."

"Daddy, will we look anything like that when Cruise or I evolve?" Tiny asked hopefully, interrupting their melancholy.

"Sorry Tiny, but Tyranitars are reptiles, not Bugs," Ash said.

"…Then why do I turn into a cocoon?" Tiny asked.

"That is a very good question," Ash admitted.

"This reminds me of Firefly Bay back home," Pikachu commented, gripping Dawn's paw tightly. "Every night, the lights come out and dance above the surface of the water. They aren't Bugs, they're something else…fairies or spirits or something mystical like that."

_And it reminds me of a festival we used to hold in our stronghold once a year to celebrate the anniversary of our clan's addition to the Empire,_ Dawn clicked back. _We would make lantern balloons with dragons painted on them and release them into the night sky._

"Wow," Pikachu said. "I'm…sorry I'll never get to see that…"

_As am I,_ Dawn said. _But I would be more than happy to see this Bay of yours…_ She squeezed his paw. _Together._ They smiled at each other, and Palmer felt the ache in his hurt ease at the realization that maybe their clan's future wasn't a doomed one after all.

"…This remind you of your wife?" Briney asked Salty without moving his eyes from the Bugs flying above them.

"Yeah," Salty said. "You too?"

"Yeah," Briney said. They said nothing more. Neither of them needed to.

"Wanna make out?" Zippo asked Rose, finding himself turned on.

"Maybe later," she said.

"Okay," he said, willing to wait a little longer.

"Incredible! It's like some of the light shows they sometimes put on back home…but it's completely natural! No magic at all involved!" said an amazed Goldor.

"Nothing but the magic of nature and evolution, anyway," Silvia said, equally moved.

"I never thought something that didn't have lots of explosions and loud noises could be so coooooool," Buck said, awed.

"It's almost as if the people of this town have been reincarnated and given new life as winged insects," Cherry marveled.

"Except they haven't," Rebecca said.

"No?" Cherry asked.

Rebecca shook her head. "No. No relation. Trust me, if they were, I could tell. You may know tons about the future, but I know much more about spirits."

"Oh well. Still pretty," Cherry said, shrugging it off.

"Yeah, it is," Rebecca agreed.

"…Huh. Not bad," Looker commented.

"Nope," Bruno agreed, folding his arms and hiding a smile. "Not bad at all."

"I wish Max were here to see this," Sam said sadly. "He'd turn this into a game and try shooting as many of those bugs as he could."

"…We could shoot them together, if you like," George offered half-heartedly.

Sam sighed and shook his head. "No, it wouldn't be the same."

"_Tres magnifique!"_ Fantina gushed.

"_Oui, oui!"_ Bow agreed, clapping her fans together in approval.

"It's not as lovely as you," Butler told Diane.

She flushed and rolled her eyes. "Oh, you flatterer…"

"It's so pretty…" Dean said. He looked down at himself and sighed. "We'll never be like that, though. We can fly, and change, but the light of evolution will never shine from us. We're creatures of darkness, not light."

"I wouldn't say that. After all, the darkness has its own allure. It may even be greater than the light, depending on who you ask," Vladimir said…although a longing similar to Dean's was glimmering in his eyes. Bob, uninterested, wandered off to pee on something.

Sasha frowned as she listened carefully to the sound the bug wings made, hearing its cadence, its tone and pitch and how it rose and fell. "It almost sounds like they're…_singing_," she said after a moment.

"They are," Happy said, eyes tearing up. "Beautiful isn't it?"

"It is. What are they singing about?" Sasha asked her.

"About life, and living," Happy said. "About how happy they are to exist, to be born into our world, to break free from the putrefying flesh they've incubated in and soar on wings of their own, reveling in their freedom and the sheer ecstasy of being alive."

"…But surely they know they are going to die, don't they?" Sasha asked. "And in the very near future, as you said before. How can they stay so joyous with such a short time to spend on this Earth before my Lord Darkrai comes for them?"

"The same could be said of any of us," Happy said. "Sure, some of us have lifespans longer than others. Some of us can even live for millennia, if we survive long enough. But compared to the endlessness of the cosmos, we don't really live any longer than my children. All of us are brief sparks of life, passing into this world without warning and leaving it just as quickly. It's not how long you live, but what you _do_ with the time you have that makes life worth living. And my children intend to get as much living as they can done before your master enfolds them in his welcoming embrace."

"…You know," Sasha said after a moment. "I do believe you're right."

_I coulda told you that,_ Darkrai said.

_Then why didn't you?_ She asked.

_You didn't ask me,_ he said. She rolled her eyes.

They stayed there and watched for the next hour or so as the Bugs danced and sang and finally split off, spreading out across the land and leaving Dusty Ditch behind, each off to seek their own destinies and use the few days they had at their disposal to the best of their ability. It was only when the lights faded from the sky and the last of the insects vanished over the horizon that they finally headed back to the train to eat and sleep and prepare themselves for the next day. And while most of them didn't know what they had to look forward to (except Cherry, and she intended to let them know once they'd had some time to recuperate), their confidence had been restored, and they felt certain that they could overcome whatever the new day might bring. After all, they had just seen for themselves how life could spring from the body of death. How could they not persevere, with something like that to buoy their spirits?

Inside the train, Brodie resignedly looked out the window of his prison as Happy's children flew away, sadly thinking that they would have made a great meal. He wondered if they were ever going to remember to feed him.

…

Meanwhile, in Secretive Forest…

"Whoa," Raiki whispered in awe. "Did he just…"

"Yes," an equally dumbstruck Rayquaza said. "He did!"

What had who just done, you might ask? If you didn't read the last chapter, the answer is simple: Aaron had sought out Zorra, the girl he once loved, the girl he had spurned almost a decade ago, and asked her to take him back and marry him. As his _second_ wife. With any other mon and any other womon, something so brazen as that might have resulted in the male of the couple getting a resounding slap, if not worse. But this was no ordinary mon or womon, as the other Pokémon who'd accompanied Aaron into the forest knew all too well. Sabrina sighed and looked away. She'd know Aaron was going to do this—how could she not, given what she was?—but it hurt her all the same, to know that once again, his heart would never be hers.

"Ha, I told you! I told you threesomes make everything better!" Latios said giddily. He paused. "But what's that thing Aaron's offering Zorra? It doesn't look like a ring to me."

"It's a Time Flower," Latias explained. "They're not actually flowers, but a silicon-based organism made of living crystal that can record events and play them back like a hologram later, if stimulated by the right Aura. Since they're crystals, they never wilt and last just about forever if taken good care of, so Aura Guardians have used them for millennia to record important messages and lessons to pass on to the next generation."

"That's not all they're good for, though," Raiki said. "From what Aaron's told me, it's customary for an Aura Guardian to offer the womon he's going to marry with a Time Flower. It's a symbol of how their love will be eternal, since the Flower in question is usually imprinted with the memories of their time together and will continue to record their lives as a bonded couple. It's a living symbol of their union. Pretty romantic, huh?"

"Yes, very," Rayquaza agreed thoughtfully. A pity the Flowers only worked with Aura, otherwise he thought he had a pretty good idea of what he might do with one…

Zorra stiffened, staring at the flower in Aaron's palm. She shook with rage, and possibly another emotion. "You…you _dare_…after everything you've done to me, you have the presumption to come here, remind me of our past, make me feel all upset and uncertain about what happened, and then _ask me to marry you_, like nothing happened? After all that you've done to me, you have the _gall_ to ask me to be your wife?"

"Yes," Aaron said plainly. "I do."

"_Why?"_ Zorra demanded.

"Because I love you, and I'm sorry for what I did. Just like I know that you still love me, even after all this time," Aaron said. "I know I may never be able to make up for breaking your heart…but I have to try, and this is the only way I can think of to do so, by correcting the mistake I made all those years ago, and giving 'us' a second chance. I'm willing to take the plunge, Zorra. Are you?"

"…You hurt me," she hissed, although her rage was starting to drain away. "You _hurt_ me, Aaron. Even now that I know why you did it, how…how do I know it won't happen again? Why should I do this? Why should I open myself up for more heartbreak?"

"Because you know that if you don't, you'll hate yourself for the rest of your life," Aaron said bluntly. "And you come from a rather long-lived species, Zorra, which means you'll be stewing in that hatred for a very, very long time. I care about you too much to see that happen…and I'm pretty sure you care enough for your son to spare him having to live with a mother like that."

"Hey, don't bring me into this!" the Zorua said.

"Yes, don't drag him into this!" Zorra snarled.

"My apologies. But we both know that whatever decision is made will affect him just as much as the both of us, if not more," Aaron pointed out.

"He doesn't need a father!" Zorra growled.

"No, but I wouldn't mind one," the Zorua said abruptly. "And I think he'd make a fairly good parent for me."

Zorra gave him a startled look. "Zachary…"

"Meema, I know you're hurting, a lot. I know Aaron and you had a rather bad breaking off. But I also know that, beneath it all…you still love him," the Zorua (now identified as Zachary) said softly. "If you didn't, you wouldn't allow yourself to be so governed by his memory, or why sometimes you make illusions of him and-"

"That's enough!" Zorra snapped, turning red.

Latios's eyes bulged. "…Uh, whoa. Was he going to say that she, ah, mated with the illusions or…killed them?"

"How do you know it's not both?" Latias asked.

"…Dude, that's all kind of messed up," Latios said, making a face.

"Or…kinky, when you think about it," Raiki said. Everyone stared at him.

Aaron decided to proceed as if nobody had said anything. "I am not trying to influence your decision, Zorra. This is a matter of the heart…and as an Aura Guardian, I know that only your heart can tell you what choice to make. If you truly hold no desire to be with me, if you completely despise me and wish me to leave, then I will exit this forest and your life, forever."

"Not before she tells us what we want to know, though, right?" Rayquaza asked.

"Yeah, otherwise we'll kind of have come all this way for nothing," Raiki agreed.

"Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes," Latios begged, to Latias's amusement.

"Look into your heart, Zorra," Aaron urged the Zoroark, ignoring them. "What do you want? The choice is yours to make, and yours alone. Putting aside the needs of your son, and my feelings, and anything else…what is it that you, and only you, want?"

"I want-" Zorra stopped, hesitated, and slowly said, "I don't…I don't know what I want. Part of me wants you to leave. Another…another part…doesn't. What…what do I do?"

"Whatever you want," Aaron said. "Neither Zachary or myself or anyone else matter. All that counts is what _you_ want, Zorra."

"But I don't _know_ what I want!" she snarled, looking frustrated and a little scared.

"Then touch the Time Flower," Aaron said.

Zorra blinked. "Huh?"

"This Time Flower holds the memories of the time we spent together. If you touch it, it will react to our Auras and project those memories for us as they really happened, and not as we might wish to remember them," Aaron said.

"I've already relived those memories, countless times," Zorra snapped.

"Yes, but always tainted by your own feelings," Aaron pointed out. "This will show us—_both_ of us—how those memories actually took place. Perhaps we will both learn something from it. Perhaps they were not as good as I remembered…or not as terrible as _you_ remembered. Either way, it will show, beyond a shadow of a doubt, whether we really had something back then…and if we might have a future."

"This could just be some Aura Guardian trick to change my mind," Zorra said warily. "Why should I do it? Why should I give you this chance?"

"Because, as I said before, you'll never forgive yourself if you don't at least try," Aaron said. "And because doing so may finally help you to move on. And if that is what you choose to do, Zorra, I'll support you no matter what…because I still love you, and I don't want you to hurt any longer."

Zorra growled, squeezing her eyes shut and clenching her fists. "Damn you, Aaron…why do you always have to be so freaking _nice_ and _reasonable?_ It makes it that much harder for me to say no to you." She sighed, shoulders sagging in defeat. "Fine. I'll touch the stupid flower. But if I don't like what I see, then we're through, and I never want to see you again. Understood?"

"Perfectly," Aaron said.

Zorra took a deep breath, closed her eyes, then reached out and touched the flower. There was a flash of blue light, and the crystalline organism's petals unraveled, light shining from within and causing the forest around them to shimmer and suddenly transform into the clearing outside Krysta's den at the top of Mt. Freeze. "Whoa, cool!" Raiki said.

"Another illusion?" Rayquaza murmured.

"Yes, but not one made by my mother or I," Zachary said, looking impressed.

A second Lucario was standing before them, but this one had less scars and was not wearing a blindfold. A familiar Ninetales was present as well, giving the Lucario an appraising look. "Whoa, two Aarons?" Latios said in astonishment, glancing back and forth between the Lucarios.

"This is a vision from the past," Latias said.

Sabrina nodded. "From years ago…before Aaron lost his eyesight, just after he left Pokémon Square to embark on a journey of self-empowerment."

"Which would explain why he has fewer scars, and no blindfold," Raiki observed.

Zorra stirred, staring at the other Lucario in amazement, and the real Aaron smiled. "Do you remember this day, Zorra?"

"How could I not?" she said. "It's…the day we first met."

"A day when both our lives changed forever…although it didn't seem like it at the time," Aaron agreed.

"Hmm…there is great power within you. The strength of your Aura is impressive. I have not felt it's like in quite some time," the Ninetales, Krysta announced. "And yet you seek to become even stronger? Why?"

"Although I am strong enough now to protect the people I care for, I fear that one day an enemy will arise that my Aura will be insufficient to defeat," the younger Aaron said. "I have come to you in hopes that you can help me obtain the strength I need to defend Pokémon Square, no matter what threatens it."

"And what makes you think that I can help you? Why not seek out another Aura Guardian, a Master? They are the ones who usually handle matters like this," Krysta said.

"Because there are no others," Aaron said sadly. "At least not on this continent. As far as I know, I am the last Lucario on Kanjohenn. There is nobody I can turn to to help me train and grow stronger, not without leaving the continent altogether and possibly putting my home at risk, unable to return to it swiftly should something happen. I have a book written by my predecessors that has been very informative, but there are some things that can only be taught, not gleaned from a text. That is why I have sought you out, for tales of your magical prowess and wisdom range far and wide, and I believe that if anyone could teach me what I needed to know, it would be you."

"…Perhaps you are right. Perhaps I do have the knowledge you seek. But why should I train you? What do you believe that I will get out of taking you on?" Krysta said.

"A companion," Aaron said.

Krysta stiffened. "What?"

"Oooh, nice," Raiki chuckled.

"He didn't mean it like that," Latias said.

"Then how did he mean it?" asked a disappointed Latios.

"Just watch," she said.

"While stories of your wisdom are famous…so are tales that you live up here all alone. It seems to me that someone who has dwelled in solitude for centuries on end could stand to have a little company once in a while," Aaron said.

"What makes you think I want company? How do you know I don't like being alone?" Krysta asked, trying to hide how shaken Aaron's insight had made her.

"Because even the most curmudgeonly of hermits never lives _that_ far away from other people," Aaron said. "After all, what's the point of proving how strong and self-reliant you are by dwelling on your own if there's nobody for you to prove how strong and self-reliant you are _to?_ There's almost nobody out here. I didn't even encounter many Pokémon climbing up the mountain. Either they're all too afraid of you to make their dwellings here…or it's too inhospitable even for the hardiest of Ice-types. Either way, you're the only Pokémon I've sensed for miles around. I don't know about you, but that sounds like an awfully lonely position to be in."

"…Very well. I will take you on and teach you what I know of Aura," Krysta said, her tails flicking agitatedly. "But not because I'm in need of a companion, but because you…intrigue me. You are correct, most Pokémon in the area are afraid of me, and very few people on this continent would have had the courage to come up here and seek me out. However…you are not the first to do so in recent times. You were wrong, you see, I'm _not_ alone. Not at the moment, anyway."

"You aren't?" Aaron asked, somewhat surprised.

"No," a younger Zorra said, appearing from thin air behind him. "She has me."

The real Zorra flinched when she saw her younger self. "Did I really look like that once? I seemed so…happy…she almost seems like another person compared to who I am now."

"All things change with time, but there is no reason you can't be that happy again," Aaron said.

"…We'll see," Zorra said.

The younger Aaron started and stared at Zorra in astonishment. "H-how did you do that?" he stammered incredulously. "My Aura senses don't work so well up here, but my other senses should have been able to detect you!"

"I'm a Zoroark," Zorra bragged. "Illusion is my specialty."

"What kind of illusion can mask a mon's scent, the sound of its heartbeat or breathing, the way the air currents are displaced by its body?" Aaron asked in amazement.

"Mine," Zorra said with a cocky grin.

"Zorra arrived here just last month. Like you, she also seeks tutelage, but in illusions rather than Aura," Krysta explained as Aaron struggled to calm down. "She has a special talent for illusion, even for a Zoroark. I believe in time she may be able to craft illusions that are not only as close to _real_ as they can possibly be, but are good enough to fool even a Psychic, Aura Guardian, or archmage."

"An illusion an Aura Guardian can't penetrate? Impossible!" Aaron said, dumbfounded.

"Maybe not now, but someday, perhaps," Zorra said with a smirk. "I'm going to be the greatest illusionist in the world! I may even make my own world someday, one so good that nobody will notice it's not the original!"

"Then I'll just have to become the greatest Aura Guardian in the world, so I'll be able to see through your illusions and save everyone from your trickery!" Aaron snarled.

"Ha, I'd like to see that!" Zorra said.

"As would I," Krysta said, getting their attention. "I shall teach both of you what I know, and you shall hone your abilities against each other to grow stronger. Perhaps you shall grow closer in the process, perhaps not, it matters little to me so long as you learn what I have to teach you, and learn it well."

"Yeah, fat chance of me getting to like this stick-in-the-mud," Zorra sniffed.

"Same to you, trickster," Aaron growled.

Krysta smiled in amusement. "This should be interesting."

"It certainly was," the real Aaron agreed as the Ninetales set their younger selves to spar.

Zorra moaned. "If only I'd known what I was getting myself into…"

They settled back to watch their memories unfold before their eyes. Every now and then the Time Flower would pulse, and the images around them would shimmer and jump ahead to another important event in their past, showing another scene of the Zoroark and Lucario together. Aaron and Zorra and the others watched as time passed, and the rivalry between their younger selves deepened as Zorra played constant pranks and tricks on Aaron, who retaliated by doing his best to outdo her at every other aspect of their training, which encouraged her to try harder as well, and he'd retaliate by working himself even _more, _and so on until they both were nearly passed out from exhaustion and a bemused Krysta chided them for trying too hard. A grudging respect formed between the two of them…and over time, that respect grew into friendship as they learned more about each other and saw their rival as more than just an enemy. And then, as often happens when two people of the opposite gender spend too much time and emotion together, that friendship became something…more.

Zorra winced as she watched her younger self kiss Aaron for the first time. "Oh Arceus, it's even worse than I thought it would be."

"I thought you said you'd revisited this moment lots of times," Aaron said.

"I have, but it was always different then. Then I could always say I was just overly romanticizing it, and I probably was, but now I have to relive it as it actually happened, and…and I can't take it," Zorra said, looking extremely uncomfortable.

"Because it hurts? Or because it makes you want it again?" Aaron asked.

"What do you think?" she asked bitterly.

"Um, are they going to…" Latios asked slowly as the memory of Aaron and Zorra kissing started getting a bit more…intimate. Sabrina looked away in resentment, Rayquaza blushed, and Raiki stared with a voyeuristic look on his face.

"Neat," Zachary said, intrigued.

"No," Latias said. "She wanted to, but he refused."

"Wow. No offense, Aaron, but that was really stupid of you," Latios said.

"It seemed improper at the time," Aaron said defensively.

"That infuriating nobility of yours…which made me both despise you…and only want you more," Zorra said miserably, looking longingly at their younger selves.

More time passed, and they watched as the budding relationship between Aaron and Zorra grew to encompass Krysta as well, who was somewhat surprised to find herself growing a lot closer to her students…and they, in turn, to her. Their time together became more intimate, but not in a physical sense, though it was clear at least a few of them would have wanted it to be. However, as they spent more time together as a trio, Aaron began growing more and more uncomfortable. He started trying to spend more time with one of the females, then the other, as if having trouble reconciling with the idea of being with both of them at once. As they watched, growing somewhat uncomfortable themselves, that uncertainty began to put a strain on Aaron's relationship with both womon. He mentioned repeatedly to both of them that Lucarios were traditionally monogamous, something Zorra and Krysta both dismissed, saying they could work around it, trying to convince Aaron there was nothing wrong with him going against custom…and although a part of him, a very large part, agreed, another part of him was less certain, not only that it was permissible, but that he would be able to manage it without ruining all their lives. They watched as he spent long hours of the night debating with himself over this, trying to figure out the best course of action, wondering if he could really go through with this…and if he did, that it would be the right thing to do.

And so, as his doubts kept eating away at him and making it harder for him to concentrate on his training or on his relationship with the two womon he believed he loved, he finally, reluctantly, decided to break their love triangle. Nobody spoke, none of them even breathed as they watched a distraught and conflicted Aaron break it off with Zorra. He did his best to let her down gently, telling her he still loved her and would always be her friend and wanted her to still be a part of his life, but as we all know, that sort of thing always just makes matters worse. An anguished and heartbroken Zorra screamed at him, attacked him, and finally ran off in tears. She didn't see that Aaron had been crying too.

Time shifted again, and they watched as Aaron frantically searched the region for Zorra, and beyond, guided from afar by Krysta, who was doing the best she could to locate the wayward Zoroark. But Zorra had been taught too well, and days turned into weeks, and weeks into months, and eventually they were forced to admit that Zorra didn't want to be found and gave up. Aaron returned to Mt. Freeze and continued his training, and even though his relationship with Krysta remained intact, there was still an indelible sense of guilt and regret tainting it. In a twisted way, it brought them closer together…but the shadow of their failure clearly hung heavily over their hearts.

The visions dimmed and faded away, the light from the Time Flower winking out as the organism folded itself back up again. Nobody said anything for several minutes, overwhelmed by the emotion conveyed by the scenes they had just witnesses. Finally, a stunned Zorra stammered, "You…y-you really _did _look for me…"

"Of course I did," Aaron said. "Whatever gave you the idea that I wouldn't?"

Zorra shook her head wordlessly. "You…you were hurting too. I never realized…I never thought that the two of you would be anything but…_happy_ without me."

"We were happy…eventually. But the hurt never really went away," Aaron said. "And while eventually, we did get married…it took quite some time before we worked up the courage to do it. It was difficult, with the Donphan in the room."

"What Donphan?" Latios asked. "They had a Donphan living with them?"

"He's talking about Zorra," Latias.

Latios gave her a confused look. "But Zorra's a Zoroark, not a Donphan. Or did she use illusion to make herself look like a Donphan? Why would she do that?" Raiki and Rayquaza facepalmed. Zachary snickered.

"And before we even got around to that, something else happened that very nearly destroyed us…or at least, me," Aaron said.

"W-what?" Zorra gasped.

"Hey, wait a second, what are you talking about?" Raiki said in concern. "You never mentioned anything like that."

"There is a lot about my decade away I haven't told you. This part is one I am not proud of, and one I did not feel comfortable speaking about…but now is when it must be revealed," Aaron said. "As I told Ash when he spoke to us through webcam for the first time, I, too, tried to become a Shining Pokémon once upon a time, to purge all darkness from my heart. I failed. I very nearly lost my life, so I guess I'm lucky my eyes are all that got taken away."

Raiki frowned. "Yeah, I remember that. What does that have to do with anything?"

"The reason I failed…was because of Zorra," Aaron said.

Zorra stiffened. "What? Wh-what are you talking about?"

"I apologize, that came out wrong. What I mean is…I failed because of myself. What I did to you, Zorra. When I dove into my heart to try to purify myself…the guilt and shame from how I mistreated you, how I broke your heart…it was too much. I could not overcome it. I could not forgive myself. And so I failed, losing my eyes and my opportunity at transcendence." He smiled sadly. "Ironic. When I tried to break up with you, I did what I thought was best at the time…and only made things worse for everyone further down the line. There's a moral in that, I suppose."

"…I'm sorry," Zorra said quietly.

"Don't be," Aaron said. "The fault was all mine. It always has been." He touched his blindfold. "I did this to myself…because I lacked the courage to follow my heart, a mistake that no Aura Guardian should ever make. Afterwards, I swore to always be true to my feelings and convictions again…and it is because of those that I'm here. I came here to make amends…and to try and put both our pain behind us. And so I ask you again, Zorra: will you allow me to do what I should have done all those years ago? Will you become my wife, so our trio can be whole again?"

Zorra closed her eyes and shuddered. "I shouldn't. Every logical part of me is screaming that it's a mistake, that you'll only hurt me again."

"And your heart?" Aaron asked.

"Please say yes please say yes _please say yes,_" Latios hissed desperately.

"My…my heart…my heart says…" Zorra took a deep breath, then opened her eyes and stared into Aaron's. "Yes. Yes, a thousand times yes. I will marry you."

A smile of relief and joy lit up Aaron's face as he rose to his feet. "That is what I had hoped you would say." He hugged her, burying his paws in her thick mane.

"I think…that I did, too," Zorra agreed, wrapping Aaron in her arms and lifting him off the ground in a strong embrace. The forest around them shimmered, trees disappearing abruptly until they were no longer in a forest at all, but a beautiful sunlit meadow stretching as far as the eye could see. Flowers sprouted around Zorra's feet and spread outwards to fill the landscape, the scent of fresh blossoms filling the air.

Raiki tentatively poked one of the flowers and was relieved when his hand passed through it. "Phew, just an illusion." He smiled at Aaron and Zorra. "Heh. Not a bad proposal, Aaron. Not as nice as how I won Delia over, of course, but still pretty good. Way to go, buddy."

"Awwwwww," Latios said, wiping away a tear as he watched the reunited lovers. "That was even more wonderful than I had hoped."

"Indeed. I'm glad that ended well," Rayuaza said. _And I'm going to have to find a way to outdo that when I finally get around to asking Latias to marry me._

_You can just come out and ask me, you know. I don't need anything big and fancy,_ Latias said telepathically, startling him.

_You are the Guardian of Light, one of the mightiest and most dedicated members of Arceus's pantheon!_ Rayquaza said. _Anything less than a perfect proposal would be an insult to your position!_

_Considering that we share the same status, I think anything you choose to do would be appropriate, _Latias said.

_I'm not on your level yet,_ Rayquaza pointed out. _Once I am, though…well, I guess we'll see, won't we?_

Latias smiled. _Yes. We will._

Sabrina sighed and closed her eyes as she watched Aaron and Zorra, knowing once again that he could never be hers…and oddly enough, she found she was fine with that. She still loved Aaron, and probably always would, but…so long as he was happy, she was sure she could bear being 'just' friends. At least it would mean she'd still be a part of his life, and he of hers. _Aaron…I'm glad you've found happiness,_ she thought, honestly meaning it. She opened her eyes and looked up, managing a smile. _And I hope that someday, I shall be half as happy as you are with someone I love._

Latios frowned, a thought occurring to him. "Wait…I just realized something. Aaron said Krysta was unable to find Zorra because she'd become too good an illusionist…but…Krysta was the one who told us exactly where to find Zorra! How could she have known that? Did she know it all along, and was hiding it to keep Aaron to herself or something?"

"No," Latias said. "The answer's much simpler than that…isn't that right, Zachary?"

Zachary gave her a surprised look. "How did you know? I've been using illusion to shield my thoughts!"

"_You_ might be, but Krysta wasn't," Latias said. "She told me the whole thing, and asked me not to mention it to anyone because she thought it might make it impossible for Aaron and your mom to get back together if she knew you'd been plotting behind her back."

"W-wait…are you saying…all of this was his doing?" Rayquaza asked incredulously.

"Aw mon…guess the jig's up then, huh?" Zachary said ruefully. "Yeah, I told Krysta where we lived and what we were doing, hoping she'd pass the information on to Aaron."

"But why?" asked the amazed Raiki.

"And more importantly, how?" Latios asked, baffled. "I mean, we're kind of a long way from Mt. Freeze."

"Oh, it was easy," Zachary said. "I just called her up."

"…You called her up?" Latios asked.

"Yes, on my phone," Zachary said.

"You get coverage out here?" asked the surprised Raiki.

"Yes, illusionary coverage. Because it's an illusionary phone," Zachary said. "Which is good, since that means I don't have to pay a phone bill."

"But…but then…how did Krysta get the message?" asked the confused Latios.

"On _her_ illusionary phone, duh," Zachary said.

"I…what? But…but that doesn't…" Latios stammered, eyes crossing in confusion.

"Why did you contact Krysta?" Sabrina said quickly, getting them back on subject.

"All my life, Meema's talked about Aaron," Zachary said. "Some of it good, some of it bad. I wasn't really sure what to think of him, except that he affected her life in a very big way, and, despite how much she said she hated him…she didn't. She couldn't. Some part of her refused to. So, when we saw Aaron come back to Pokémon Square, and I got to see the _real_ him for the first time…the look on Meema's face was…indescribable. She told me later it was nothing, but we both knew otherwise. She started focusing more on you, watching Aaron's every move, even though she said it was just to make sure he didn't come out here. And I decided that…well, enough was enough. It was clear that she needed to go talk to him, get whatever was between them off her chest, but there was no way she was ever going to go into town to see him, so I figured I'd have to find a way to get him up here instead. Then I remembered Krysta, who Meema had also talked about a lot, and how she and Aaron had been close, and some of the stuff we heard Aaron talking about in town impied they were _still_ close, so…I figured if I called her she might be able to get a message to him. And if that didn't work, I'd call town and leave an 'anonymous tip' that there was something interesting out this way. One way or another, I'd make sure he and my Meema were face to face again, and could resolve their past once and for all."

"Heh. Pretty clever, kid," said the impressed Raiki.

"Well, I _am_ a Zorua!" Zachary bragged. "But, uh, don't tell Meema, okay? I'm not sure if she'd tear me limb from limb for setting her up…or compliment me on my deviousness."

"Don't worry, your secret's safe with us," Rayquaza assured him.

"What secret?" Aaron asked as he and Zorra came over to them, paw in paw.

"Oh, that your son still wets his bed," Latios said quickly.

"I do not!" Zachary protested.

Zorra frowned. "What, still? Zachary, I thought we'd gotten over that by now."

"I have! They're lying!" Zachary yelled.

"Well, considering you haven't had any 'accidents' in my mane for a very long time, you're probably right," Zorra admitted. She frowned at them suspiciously. "Which means something else must be his secret. What is it?"

"Um…" Raiki fidgeted uncertainly.

"That he's really looking forward to having Aaron for a father-in-law and is ecstatic that you're getting back together, which means he doesn't have to live in the forest anymore," Latias said quickly.

"Oh! Thank you," Aaron said, flattered.

"Awww, that's sweet! But why keep it a secret? And what's wrong with living in the forest?" Zorra asked, perplexed.

"Um…because I didn't want you thinking I hated living out here or something," Zachary said, improvising on the fly like any good trickster could. "I mean, I _love_ living out here with you, Meema, but…we've spent so much time watching the townsPokémon of Pokémon Square going about their lives, I wanted to stop watching and actually _be_ a part of their lives. I wanted to have friends and play and get to hang out with other kids my age. Maybe even become part of a Rescue Team!"

Zorra gave her son a surprised look. "Zachary…you were lonely? Why didn't you say anything sooner?"

"Well, because _you_ seemed uncomfortable at the idea of becoming part of town life," Zachary said. "And I'd never want you to be unhappy, Meema! You had enough on your shoulders as it was!"

"Awww…you're such a good little pup," Zorra cooed, picking Zachary up and cuddling him. "Putting his mother's feelings before his own…so mature and considerate! Perhaps too considerate…I'm sorry, Zachary, it never occurred to me how our imposed isolation might be affecting you. We're a very social species, it really is unorthodox for it to be just the two of us out here, all alone. It'll be good for us to become a part of society again…even if it's not a society of our own kind."

"Don't worry, Zorra, everyone in town will be more than happy to welcome you into their lives," Aaron assured her. "Zachary, too. You'll both have more new friends than you'll know what to do with before this day is through!"

"Cool!" Zachary said.

"I'd like that," Zorra admitted. "Maybe it's long past time I got to really socialize with the people I've been spying on for years."

"You, uh, might want to leave that part out," Rayquaza said.

Latias nodded. "Yes, they seem uncomfortable with that sort of thing, for some reason." Latios rolled his eyes.

"I certainly won't, at least not until after the wedding…which is tomorrow…" Zorra's eyes widened, and she surprised everyone, and herself, by squealing happily. "I can't believe this is happening! I'm going to get married, and to _Aaron!_ It's like a dream come true!"

"Yeah, and one that most of the single—and more than a few who aren't—ladies in town have had for quite some time," Raiki chuckled, causing Aaron to blush.

"Speaking of the wedding…everyone in town will be at it tomorrow, including the sorceror. Could you please tell us who our foe is, so we can set our trap?" Sabrina asked.

"Oh, of course! I almost forgot!" Zorra said. "The mage who's been giving you all so much trouble is…"

…

Meanwhile, in a cave in the Sinister Woods…

It was eleven against one. Going by numbers alone, the average person would think the one didn't have a chance. Unfortunately, the eleven were undertrained rookies, and the one was not only a Tyranitar, an incredibly formidable opponent in any altercation, but was also a Shadow Pokémon being controlled by a jerkass Skuntank. To say the kids didn't really have much of a chance was an understatement.

"I don't think we really have much of a chance," Max confided nervously when his Bullet Seeds ricocheted harmlessly off the Shadow Tyranitar's hide.

"That's no way to talk, mon! You're on a Rescue Team! We never give up!" Torch bellowed, spewing Embers at the Tyranitar.

That's when Gilbert, whom the Tyranitar had bodily picked up and thrown through the air when the Squirtle sprayed her with his Water Gun, crashed into Torch, knocking him over. "I give up," the Squirtle said dazedly.

"Gilbert-kun!" Kira cried in alarm.

"Gilbert!" Sapphire shrieked.

Both of them ran over to the Squirtle, and frowned when they saw each other. "What are _you_ doing here?" they asked suspiciously.

"And why is nobody asking how _I'm_ doing?" Torch complained.

"So weird…" Hubie murmured, shaking his head in bewilderment.

"Hubie, hit her with a Whirlpool! I'll keep her distracted!" George shouted, curling up and spinning into a Flame Wheel which rolled across the ground towards the Tyranitar. The Armor Pokémon looked at it indifferently and kicked it before it could reach her, knocking George out of the fire and sending him flying through the air, smashing into a wall so hard he got his head stuck in it.

Hubie sweatdropped. "Gee, thanks for the distraction, George." There was a tremendous roar, and he gulped when the Shadow Tyranitar loomed over him. He didn't need Dimensional Scream to tell him he was about to be in some serious pain. "Aw, crap."

Fortunately, he had friends brave (and stupid) enough to protect him. "Don't you dare hurt him!" Pichu said as he leaped in front of Hubie and fired a Thundershock at the Tyranitar. Naturally, it had no effect.

"You _were_ aware that she's a Ground-type and so completely immune to Electric attacks, right?" Max asked from a safe distance.

"Of course I know that, I was just trying to divert her attention from Hubie!" Pichu said.

"Well, it seems to be working," Matthias said as the Tyranitar turned towards Pichu and started powering up a Hyper Beam. "Now what?"

"…I assumed I'd figure something out when I got here," Pichu admitted, causing his teammates to facefault.

"Then I guess I'll have to do it for you!" Collette shouted, blowing a Sweet Kiss that struck the Tyranitar, causing her eyes to go all swirly in confusion and make her fire her Hyper Beam away from Pichu and Matthias. "Now, everyone, hit her while she's dazed!" she cried as she flung Magical Leaves at their enemy.

"Gilbert, Hubie, let's give her a good dose of waterpower!" Sapphire said, inhaling and spitting Bubbles at the Tyranitar.

"Sure thing!" Gilbert said, firing his Water Gun.

"You want waterpower, get a load of this!" Hubie bragged, forming a Whirlpool and throwing it the Tyranitar. The powerful Water moves washed over the Tyranitar, causing her to flinch in pain. Junior and George, who had managed to extricate himself from the wall with nothing worse than a concussion, curled into balls and rolled towards the Tyranitar with Roll Out and Flame Wheel. The Tyranitar shook her head to clear it and pulled back her tail to smack them away…only to find that Kira had used Grass Knot to tangle up her feet, and her attempt to turn around had thrown her off-balance, making her susceptible to a heavy body blow to the chest from the two rolling Pokémon that knocked her over and caused her to hit the ground with a heavy thud.

Torch howled incoherently and jumped onto the dazed Tyranitar, trying to penetrate her armor with Scratches since she didn't seem very affected by his Fire attacks. He winced and back off when he broke his claws, though. "Okay, I could have thought that out better…" he whimpered.

"Nice work, guys (except for Torch)! We'll finish her off!" Pichu said, raising his sword.

"We will?" Matthias asked.

"Yes, we will! Let's use that super-cool move we've been talking about!" Pichu said.

"…You mean the one that you saw on TV?" Max said skeptically.

"Yes, that one!" Pichu insisted.

The Treecko sighed and rolled his eyes. "Oh, fine…"

They positioned themselves in a triangle around the Tyranitar while the others bombarded her with Water and Grass attacks to keep her pinned down. In unison, they drew their swords and got into stances. "Team Awesome Finishing Move…DELTA SLASH!" Pichu yelled, which was the signal for all of them to use Quick Attack and run to their right, leaving trails of light that formed the sides of a triangle. When they reached the point the teammate on their right had been in before the attack had started, they sharply turned left and inwards, converging on the Tyranitar. There was a flash of light as they struck, and then breezed past her, standing with their backs to her. There was a moment of anticipation in the air, and nobody dared to breathe…

And then all of their swords shattered into wooden splinters. "…Okay, that did not go as planned," Pichu said faintly.

"In retrospect, perhaps it wasn't the smartest idea to use that move on a heavily armored Pokémon with _wooden swords,_" Max said.

"Aaauuuggh! My paws! I've got splinters in my paws!" Matthias wailed, shaking his throbbing paws in agony. "Ow, ow, owwwww…hey, do you think-"

"No, it won't get you out of sword training," Pichu said.

"Figures," Matthias grumbled.

Jeremiah cackled. "Chaw-haw-er, I mean, hahahaha! Is that really the best you chumps can do? Let me show you some _real_ power! Hrrrraaaaaaahhhh!" The Tyranitar stood back up and roared, causing the cave to shake as Shadow Aura blazed around her.

"W-wow, boss! You're really getting the hang of this!" said the impressed and slightly frightened Chao.

"Yeah, these brats got nothing on you! This is why we're Team Rocket material, while they're just losers playing hero! We got ambition, but what do they have? Nothing!" Smogon said.

"Not true! We have lots of ambition!" Hubie said.

"Yeah, we have the ambition to be the rest Rescue Teams around, to take up the mantle once our parents and elders retire!" Collette said.

"And I have the ambition to make a name for myself, literally," Pichu added.

"And I have the ambition to marry Gilbert-kun!" Kira squealed, eyes turning into hearts as she stared lovingly at Gilbert, who sweatdropped while Torch clenched his claws into fists, trying his best not to be envious of his best friend.

"Psh, those are all lame ambitions!" Jeremiah said dismissively. "There's nothing material to them at all! You just want to do the same thing your parents have done, like blind little soldiers, with no desire to be anything different or become something new!"

"Um, actually, I'd be perfectly happy doing nothing but relaxing back at Pokémon Square rather than doing something as incredibly hazardous and life-endangering as this, except I wasn't exactly given a choice," Matthias said. He thought for a moment. "Well, that, or become a chef."

"You want to become a chef?" Sapphire asked in surprise.

"Well, maybe. De…Mom's been letting me help out a lot in the kitchen, and I think I'm pretty good at this food preparation stuff. Dad's actually supportive of the idea, but wants me to still practice swordsmonship and be on a Rescue Team because those skills will help me become better at the culinary arts or vice versa…somehow," Matthias said.

"Wow, that's a really nice goal, Matthias. I hope you succeed," George said.

Matthias blushed and rubbed the back of his head Mareepishly. "It's not that big a deal, just a little something for me to shoot for-"

"Gah, will you kids shut up already?" Jermiah shouted in exasperation. "This is exactly what I'm talking about! All your ambitions are lame! You want to waste your lives being nice and helping people and getting absolutely nowhere in life! Not like _us!_ We want to be movers and shakers! We want power, the power to change the world! And as part of Team Rocket, we'll _get_ that power! Heck, I've already got a taste of it now…and let me tell you, it's _way_ sweeter than anything you could possibly whip up in a kitchen!"

"Hey now, that's a bit much, isn't it?" Chao asked.

"Yeah, Mrs. Thunderblade makes some really good stuff," Smogon agreed.

Jeremiah considered this. "Well…okay, it's not _quite_ as good as anything Mrs. Thunderblade can make, but it's pretty close, and I'm sure it'll be even tastier once I have more of it! Chaw-haw…um, ahahahaha!"

Proton's eye twitched. "Why on Earth did we pick these idiots again?"

"Nepotism. And they're expendable," Petrel whispered back.

"Ah, true," Proton said.

Chao's sensitive ears twitched. "Hey, did you just say we were expendable?"

"What? Uh, no, um, I said…er…that you're _expandible!_" Petrel said quickly.

"Expandible?" asked a confused Smogon.

"Yes, because…um…with quality agents like you, you'll help Team Rocket expand, and take over the world!" Proton said.

"Oh, neat!" Chao said.

"And the first step to that is beating you brats!" Jeremiah said as the Tyranitar roared and stomped the ground, causing boulders to fall from the ceiling as she used Rock Slide.

"I don't think the cave can take too much more of this before it collapses!" George said in alarm as they scrambled to avoid the falling rocks.

"Then we need to take her out before she goes too far!" Collette said, wiggling her arms back and forth as she used Metronome.

"Boss, quick, take her out before she calls up some super-devastating attack that defeats us!" Chao cried in alarm.

"Nah, don't worry, Metronome randomly selects one attack out of the hundreds or so any Pokémon can use. The chances of her getting a one-hit kill move like that are astronomical!" Smogon said.

"Oh yeah! Then what do you think of _this!_" Collette said as she pointed her arms upwards, glowing blue…

And Howled. Nothing else happened. There was a long, awkward pause. Collette laughed nervously. "Okay, that could have gone better. Now I remember why I don't use that move very often…"

"Nor will you anymore!" Jeremiah said as one of the Tyranitar's hands shot forward with a Dragon Claw.

"Yikes!" Collette expertly dodged out of the way…and flew right into the Tyranitar's other hand. She cried out in alarm as the monster threw her in her mouth and bit down _hard_ with Crunch, screaming in agony as the beast's Darkness-infused fangs started crushing her small pale form.

The others gasped in horror. "No! Sis!" Junior screamed, charging blindly towards the Tyranitar with Take Down. Jeremiah grinned, and the Tyranitar did as well, fangs digging deeper into Collete's flesh as it turned and lashed out with Dragon Tail, knocking the Donphan back towards the others, smashing into them and sending them flying like bowling pins.

"We gotta get her outta there!" Pichu cried.

"How?" Max demanded.

"…I dunno! Can't you think of something? You're the smart guy!" Pichu yelled.

Max groaned. "Great, way to put all the pressure on me…Matthias, what about you? Do you have any thoughts?"

"Why are you asking me?" the Rattata asked incredulously.

"As a creature from the wild, you've probably had more experience surviving hopeless situations like these. What do your primal instincts tell you to do against a predator that's physically superior to you in almost every way?" Max asked.

Matthias thought for a moment. "Run," he said. "Very far and very fast."

"…That's it?" Max asked in disappointment.

"That or lie down and play dead, and hope that they lose interest," Matthias said.

"Why would they lose interest? Wouldn't they be happy to eat you even if you were dead? I mean, because they were going to kill you anyway," Max asked.

"I dunno, it just works sometimes. Except when it doesn't," Matthias said.

"Okay, your primal instincts suck. We need to think of something else," Pichu said.

"S-somebody…take…this!" Collette wailed, closing her eyes and using the last of her power to use Bestow, one of the items in her knapsack flying away from her in a ball of light towards her friends.

"I got it, I got it!" Hubie cried, rushing forwards and catching the sphere. It faded away to reveal… "Oh yeah! Just what the doctor ordered!" the Piplup Murkrowed as he saw it was a One-Shot Orb. "Wait, but why didn't we use this sooner?"

"Probably because we're trying to _save_ the Tyranitar, not maybe kill her!" George said. "But right now, we don't have much of a choice if we're going to save Collette!"

Hubie's eyes shrank as his Dimensional Scream activated, and he got a vision of himself throwing the Orb at the Tyranitar. "Yeah…yeah, I guess we don't." He took a deep breath and wound back his arm. "All right…here we go!" He threw the Orb at the Tyranitar with all his might. It soared through the air towards the monster…

Whose arm shot out, snatching it out of the air before it could hit her. Hubie's jaw dropped. "What?"

"Oh, sorry, did you lose something? Here, let me give it back!" Jeremiah said, making a throwing motion. The Tyranitar hurled the Orb back at Hubie, hitting him so hard that he was knocked off the ground, flew through the air, and hit the floor several meters away with a rather sickening thud. His last thoughts before he passed out were _Useless-ass psychic powers…_

"No! Hubie!" George yelled.

"Oh, and I think you've lost something else. Here, let me give her back to you!" Jeremiah said as the Tyranitar opened her jaws, charging up a Hyper Beam…

With Collette still inside! "NO!" Before she could fire or he could realize what he was doing, Matthias dashed forward, ignoring the pain in his paws as he used Quick Attack to leap into the air and soar into the Tyranitar's mouth, grabbing Collette as he went and pulling her out of the beast's jaws just before it could fire and quite possibly kill her, the Beam slicing through the air behind him. He tumbled through the air, and for a moment he was worried he was going to lose his grip on Collette…

But thankfully, Kira's Vine Whips shot out to grab them and safely lower them to the ground. "That was incredible!" said an astonished Gilbert.

"You totally saved her life! That was one of the coolest things I've ever seen!" said an awe-struck Torch.

Matthias blinked in disbelief. "Did…did I just do that?"

"Yes…" Collette said weakly, smiling up at him. "Thank…you…" Matthias blushed, and he smiled back at her.

"You monster! You almost killed my niece!" Pichu shrieked in outrage, firing a Thundershock at Jeremiah. The Skuntank yelped in alarm and hopped backwards…and so did the Tyranitar. Max frowned as he noticed this.

"Don't be silly, she'd have been fine! Just…probably severely injured," Chao said lamely. "Nothing Nurse Joy couldn't fix up."

"Oh, and that's so much better!" Pichu said sarcastically, cheeks crackling.

"I'm gonna kill you!" Junior bellowed, running towards Jeremiah with Take Down.

"Not if she does it first!" Jeremiah said as the Tyranitar opened her mouth and fired Hyper Beam, the beam streaking through the air and striking the ground just behind Junior, causing an explosion that sent the Donphan flying through the air and smashing into the wall hard enough to get through even his hard head and knock him out.

"STOP HURTING MY FAMILY!" Sapphire shrieked, firing a Bubblebeam at the Tyranitar. The others joined in with Water Guns, Razor Leaves, Flamethrowers, and Bullet Seeds.

"I will, when you stop being so pathetic!" Jeremiah taunted as the Tyranitar snarled and unleashed a Sandstorm, the sandy winds blasting out from her and knocking the attacks away as well as buffeting the children, causing them to cry out as the sand got in their eyes and mouth and scraped their skin and flung them away. As they tumbled through the air, the Tyranitar crossed her arms and used Stone Edge, rings forming around her body that transformed into sharpened rocks that flew outwards and bombarded the young Pokémon, causing them to scream as the stones broke bones and penetrated their flesh. They hit the ground trailing blood, too battered and beaten to get up again…

Except for Team Awesome, who popped out of the ground through a tunnel made by Matthias. "Wow, good thing we taught you how to use Dig, Matthias," Pichu said.

"Yes, I figured it'd be good to use if I ever needed to run away," Matthias said.

"Uh oh…I think we're the last ones standing," Max said in alarm when he saw the defeated forms of their friends lying about.

"Dammit! This…this isn't how it was supposed to happen! We were supposed to kick ass! We were supposed to be heroes!" Pichu hissed.

"Well, that's the real world for you," Matthias said, looking depressed. "We're just kids, and that's one of the most dangerous species of Pokémon ever to walk the Earth. We never really had much of a chance."

Jeremiah sneered. "That's right! You guys should've just stayed home with your mommies and daddies! Chaw-haw-haw-"

Abruptly, Proton smacked him with a wing. "For the last freaking time, STOP! LAUGHING! LIKE! THAT!"

Jeremiah gulped and cowered, rubbing his head. "S-sorry."

Max narrowed his eyes, noticing that the Tyranitar was mimicking the Skuntank's exact motions. "Gentlemon, I think I have an idea. Have you noticed that the synchronicity between Jeremiah and the Tyranitar seems to be almost one hundred percent, to the point where they move as if they are the same person and possibly feel what the other does?"

"I have no idea what that big word you just used means, but if you're saying that you think we might have been aiming for the wrong target all along…I think you might be onto something," Pichu said slowly, a grin forming on his face.

"So…you think that if we take out Jeremiah…" Matthias asked.

"We'll take out the Tyranitar? If the neural link between them engendered by that 'Capture Styler' is as strong as I think it is…then yes, I believe it would," Max said.

"All right then…" Pichu smirked. "Team Awesome…let's get awesome!" The other two stared at him. "What?"

"Seriously? That's supposed to be our catchphrase?" Matthias asked.

"It's a work in progress, okay? Just…go!" Pichu snapped. The other two shrugged, and they started running towards Jeremiah.

"What the…what do they think they're doing?" asked the confused Chao.

"I think they're coming right towards us," said the puzzled Smogon. "But why would they do that?"

"Because they're Water Gunning for me!" Jeremiah realized in alarm. "Well, _that's_ not going to happen!" The Tyranitar started charging up a Hyper Beam…

And Proton smacked him again. "You idiot! They're coming right towards us! If she misses them, _we'll_ get hit instead!"

"Oh…uh…in that case…get them!" Jeremiah said.

"Mmm…nah," Petrel said.

"Wh-what?" Jeremiah cried in alarm.

"This is _your_ test. We'll take no part in it. If you can't beat these kids on your own, then you're not fit to be in Team Rocket," Petrel said.

Jeremiah ground his teeth. "Fine! Then I'll take care of business myself!" He opened his mouth to fire a Flamethrower…

And the Tyranitar began preparing a Hyper Beam. "Cut it out!" Proton snapped, hitting him again.

"_You_ cut it out!" Jeremiah snarled. He lifted his tail, preparing a spray of Poison Gas…

And Proton hit him again. "Don't you remember what I said earlier? Don't set off something like that in here, we'll all asphyxiate!"

"Not to mention you'd probably make the Tyranitar pass gas, which is something none of us want to happen," Chao commented.

"Oh for the love of…fine! FINE! You two take care of them, then, if there's no way I can attack without possibly screwing us over!" Jeremiah shouted, losing his patience.

"On it, boss!" Chao and Smogon chorused as they leaped forward to meet the kids.

"I think it's time you stupid kids went into time out! Take some of this!" Chao said, flinging Air Cutters at the trio.

"And this!" Smogon said, spitting Sludge Bombs.

Matthias used his Agility to dodge the aerial blades and leaped at Chao, opening his jaws wide as his large front teeth shone. "No, _you_ take some!" he shouted as he bit into Chao with Super Fang, knocking him out of the air and slamming him into the ground, wrangling him with his mouth and digging his teeth in deeper.

"Auuuuughh! Make it stop, make it stop!" Chao screamed.

"Now you know what Collette felt like! Not so fun when you're on the receiving end, is it?" Matthias snarled around the Zubat filling his mouth.

Rather than use his Agility, Max spun around, bringing his thick tail up to deflect the Sludge Bombs with Pound, causing them to fly through the air and explode in Smogon's face, covering it in black muck. "Ahhhh! I can't see! I can't see!" he cried in alarm, wobbling all over the place.

"Now you know how all the nerds you've probably picked on over the years felt when you stole or broke or covered up their glasses!" Max growled as he leaped into the air and smacked him away with Pound, sending him flying through the air and smashing into some of the Rocket Grunts, sending them flying.

"O-oh crap," Jeremiah said in alarm, realizing there was nobody left to protect him and Pichu was bearing towards him, a grim look of determination on his face not unlike the kind he had occasionally seen Pikachu or Raiki sporting when they were about to teach him a lesson for picking on someone or were going out to defeat a particularly loathsome barbarian. "P-Proton, Petrel, anyone, help!"

"Eh. Don't feel like it," Proton said.

"Not in the mood," Petrel agreed.

"You guys suck!" Jeremiah screamed angrily. He opened his mouth and prepared an attack, causing the Tyranitar to do the same thing.

"What are you doing? How many times have I told you-" Proton shouted.

"Don't worry, there's no way she can replicate this!" Jeremiah said as he used Acid Spray, spitting corrosive fluid towards Pichu. The Tyranitar tried to mimick this, but only succeded in hocking a loogie, which flew through the air and smashed into a Rocket Grunt so hard it knocked her out cold.

"Huh. That was kind of impressive," Petrel commented.

"And disgusting," Petrel said with a grimace.

Matthias gasped and dropped Chao when he saw the tremendous cascade of acid surging at his brother. "No! Pichu!"

"There's no way he can get out of the way in time! He's going too fast!" Max cried.

_Oh crap,_ Pichu thought, time seeming to slow down to a crawl as he ran right towards the Acid Spray, unable to stop himself or change his course. He could make out every drop of acid flooding towards him, and plenty of time to think about how much pain he would feel when it made contact with his small fuzzy body. _This is gonna hurt. Even if it doesn't completely melt the flesh off my bones, I won't be in any condition to take out Jeremiah, and then he'll defeat the others, and…_

_And we'll have failed. Our first mission, a complete failure. All my friends hurt, my sibling and nieces and nephew in bad shame, my team in shambles…we'll be split up. We'll never get another chance to prove ourselves again. I won't get a name, and..._

_And Tiny won't get his mom back. That's his mother trying to kill us. She's been tortured and driven mad by the Nihilators, enslaved by the Rockets, and I…I wasn't able to do anything to save her. I'll have let him down. I'll have…failed him. I'll have failed EVERYONE. I…I'll be a disappointment to my family, to our legacy, to…to…_

…_No._

_I…I am a Thunderblade. My father was a hero, like his father, and his father before him. My brothers are heroes. My nieces and nephews are heroes. The blood of ancient samurai flows through our veins (Even those of us who were adopted. Family isn't always genetic.). We have fought for and protected the people of this land for generations. Failure…failure is not an option. It's not even a word we admit to knowing!_

_I can't lose, especially to a coward and a bully like Jeremiah. I will defeat him and the rest of those Rocket scum. I will save Tiny's mother! I will save my friends! I will prove that I am a hero! That…_

"I…AM…A THUNDERBLADE!" Pichu shouted at the top of his lungs. His cheeks turned white, and abruptly golden electricity exploded out from his body, his form turning black and white as it engulfed him, leaving a brilliant streak in his wake as he ran forwards even faster than before, the Acid Spray hitting his body…and sizzling away in flashes of static, completely destroyed by the high voltage coursing through his form.

"Wh-what?" Jeremiah cried in alarm.

"Well, _this_ is certainly an interesting development…" Petrel murmured, impressed.

"How is he doing that? I thought Pichu can't usually learn that move unless both their parents are of the Pikachu line and one of them was holding a Light Ball while they were conceiving it!" Petrel protested.

"How do you know his parents didn't?" Petrel pointed out. "But even if they weren't…the Thunderblade bloodline is blessed. Special. I see no reason he couldn't figure out the move for himself, if his heart were stimulated in the right way. Fascinating, wouldn't you say?"

"What…what is he doing?" Matthias cried in astonishment.

"That's Volt Tackle! The signature move of the Pikachu evolutionary line!" Max cried, eyes wide in awe. "It's so beautiful…"

"N-no! Stop! STOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!" Jeremiah screamed in terror as Pichu filled his vision like a golden specter of death.

Pichu didn't stop. He smashed into the Skuntank, triggering a tremendous explosion of light and electricity that temporarily blinded everyone in the cavern. Screaming, his fur turned black, static crackling around his form, Jeremiah flew through the air and smashed into the back wall of the cave so hard he created an imprint shaped like his body. Convulsing and gurgling, he fell out of the hole and hit the floor face-first, his Capture Styler crackling with electricity and exploding, taking his paw with it…not that he was in any condition to notice at the moment. Pichu panted as he staggered to his feet, grinning triumphantly at the astonished Rockets. "And that's…why you don't…mess with my family…guhh!" He winced and got down to one knee, sparks of yellow electricity crackling around his body.

"PICHU!" Matthias and Max yelled as they ran over to him, flinching and backing away when they got shocked while trying to help him out.

"Ow…what…what's wrong with him?" asked a confused and smarting Matthias.

"He's never done that move before…and he's still pretty young. His body hasn't conditioned itself to handle such intense bursts of electricity just yet," Max said.

"Ugh…then this is gonna happen every time I use Volt Tackle?" Pichu complained.

"Until your body becomes stronger, yes," Max said.

"Oh well…it's worth it, to be able to use an attack as cool as that! Heh, won't Dad and my big brother be happy? Especially since I was able to use that move to finish off the battle in awesome fashion!" Pichu bragged.

"Actually, the battle's far from over," Petrel said, startling them.

"Oh crap, I forgot about the Rockets!" Pichu gasped.

"Um…I don't think we can take them all…" Matthias said nervously, realizing how outnumbered and overpowered they were.

"Especially not after all the fighting we've just done," Max agreed.

"Don't worry, we have no intention of fighting you," Petrel said.

"Oh, that's a relief," Pichu said.

"Yeah, why bother when you still have _her_ to deal with?" Proton asked, pointing to the Tyranitar, who, much to Team Awesome's alarm, was still standing. The Armor Pokémon bellowed with fury, and Shadow Aura erupted around her, causing the whole room to shake. Cracks started snaking ominously across the ceiling as more of the cave was weakened by the Shadow Pokémon's overwhelming power.

"What? She's still berserk? But…but that's not possible!" Pichu protested. "We beat the guy controlling her! That means she's supposed to snap out of it! That's how it _always_ works!"

"Well, that might be what have happened if she hadn't already been berserk to begin with, given that she was a Shadow Pokémon," Max pointed out.

"Which means…that by breaking Jeremiah's control over her, all we've done is make her even _more_ of a threat?" the horrified Matthias realized.

Max nodded unhappily. "So it would appear."

"Oh, come on!" Pichu moaned, falling on his tuckus with a groan. "That's not fair! We're in no condition to fight her!"

"But we have to, or else she'll kill us and our friends," Max pointed out.

"We could probably sneak around her, grab the others, and teleport out of here," Matthias pointed out nervously. "She seems a bit too hung up roaring and shaking the place up to notice us making a break for it…and Collette grabbed the egg earlier, so we could say it was mission accomplished, right?"

"…No. We can't," Pichu said, narrowing his eyes and standing up. "We have to bring back Tiny's mom! I can't look him in the face over the Internet and tell him I couldn't save her! And besides, do you _really_ think the Rockets are going to just let us waltz out of here with that stolen egg?"

"Actually, we would," Proton said.

"We never wanted it in the first place," Petrel said. "You can keep the egg."

Team Awesome stared at them blankly. "…Wait, what?" Pichu said.

"I…I don't understand," Matthias stammered.

"The thing's useless to us. We don't need it," Proton said.

"Yeah, what're we supposed to do with a Phione? They aren't exactly the most powerful Pokémon. Sure, they're rare, semi-divine, and that liquefying trick of theirs is pretty nifty, but considering how many other Pokémon know Acid Armor that's not a particularly unique ability. As such, the only reason we'd want a Phione was if we were in the market for ultra-rare Pokémon…which, at the moment, we aren't," Proton said.

Petrel nodded. "A big war is coming. Everyone in Pokémon Square is preparing for it…and soon, so will the rest of the world. When it comes, Team Rocket will be ready, because we're acquiring some of the strongest Pokémon and most brilliant minds around. Power is what we need right now, not a novelty like Phione. So you can take it and go."

"But…but then…then why did you take it in the first place?" Max demanded.

"To bring you here," Proton said.

A chill ran down the spines of the young trio. "…What?" Matthias whispered.

"Of course," Pichu snarled, fur bristling. "Now I get it…You guys have time travelers on your side, right? You _knew_ that Phione would turn up on our beach with that egg, and _knew_ that we'd all be there at the same time. So you told Team Skull about it in advance so they'd steal the egg, ensuring that we'd be assigned to get it back, giving you the opportunity to capture the children of some of Pokémon Square's strongest and most respected citizens so you could use us to blackmail our families into working for you!"

"Ooh, pretty clever!" Petrel said, looking impressed.

"Yeah, that is a good idea, isn't it?" Proton agreed. He sighed wistfully. "Too bad you're completely wrong. Such a pity."

Now Team Awesome was even more confused than before. "Wait…that wasn't your plan? But…but then…why…" Matthias stammered.

"You're half-right. We _did_ know you kids and Phione would be on that beach, and we _did_ send Team Skull to grab the egg so you'd come after them…but we wanted you here for a completely different reason," Petrel said. "Someone fetch the backup Stylers, please?"

"Right here, boss," a Gloom said, bringing forth a suitcase. She set it down in front of Team Awesome and opened it, revealing three devices identical to the one Jeremiah had been wearing.

"Those are…Capture Stylers, right?" Max murmured.

"The thing Jeremiah was able to use to control the Tyranitar?" Pichu realized.

"Yep," Petrel said.

"But…why are you giving them to us?" asked a confused Matthias.

"The reason we wanted you kids here…is to field-test our Stylers," Proton said.

Pichu blinked. "Huh?"

"The Stylers were designed by Professor Hastings and reverse-engineered from a fascinating device a group of peacekeepers called 'Pokémon Rangers' used back in the days when humans were still around," Petrel said. "By using a Styler on a wild Pokémon, the Rangers were able to temporarily capture that Pokémon—unlike Pokéballs, which _permanently_ captured whoever they hit—by conveying their feelings to that Pokémon's heart and convincing them to help them do whatever task was required of them."

"That…sounds like a really effective way to brainwash someone into being your slave," said an alarmed Max.

"So _that's_ it! You recreated those things to forcibly make more Pokémon join your army!" Pichu snarled.

"Yes, actually, but again that's only half of the story," Petrel said.

Pichu blinked. "Huh?"

"There was _another_ thing Stylers were good at…and that was freeing Pokémon who were being controlled by criminal organizations," Proton said.

"What, like you?" Max asked snidely.

"Yeah, pretty much," Proton admitted.

"A number of evil syndicates were able to use devices similar to Stylers, but far less benign, to force Pokémon to do their bidding and attack people and destroy stuff. Why they bothered with that rather than using Pokéballs like most other humans did, I have no idea, but it's what they did," Smogon said.

"Pokémon Rangers were able to use their Stylers to connect with the hearts of the enslaved Pokémon and break the control of whoever was pulling their strings," Proton said. He grinned. "In fact…you might even say they _opened their hearts._"

Realization struck them like one of Pichu's Thunderbolts. "Shadow Pokémon! You…you think you can use them to purify Shadow Pokémon!" Matthias gasped.

"And you wouldn't have to rely on an Aura Guardian to do it…you'd be able to use technology to replicate their purifying abilities!" said the astonished Pichu.

"Why didn't I see it sooner? It's so obvious!" Max cried. "Except…wait, no it's not. Clearly it didn't work, or else Tiny's mother wouldn't still be insane!"

"Er, yeah, we're still trying to fix that problem," Petrel admitted, looking embarrassed. "However, we think we have a pretty good idea why we haven't been able to successfully purify her with a Styler yet. Since it creates a temporary connection between the hearts of two Pokémon, we think the reason her heart is still closed is because we haven't been using the right heart to talk to her."

"…Ohhhh, I see," Pichu said with a smirk. "It's not working for you guys because you're all evil and stuff, and your hearts are too similar to the people who did that to her!"

"Well, I'd say _similar_ is a bit of a stretch…" Petrel said, looking offended.

"Yeah, we're trying to save the world, not destroy it!" Proton said angrily.

"Yeah, by conquering it! That still makes you evil in my book!" Pichu said.

"Which is why Jeremiah couldn't open her heart either…since he's just a greedy, selfish bully, all he could do was control her," Matthias realized.

"And…and that's why you lured _us_ here, isn't it?" Max guessed. "To see if _our_ hearts…the hearts of _children_…would be able to succeed where you've failed."

"Heh, you really are a smart guy, aren'tcha?" Petrel said, looking amused.

"If you can successfully purify her, we'll know the Stylers work and can recruit Pokémon with hearts similar to yours to help us against the Nihilators," Proton said. "If not, we'll have to scrap the project and try something else."

"Fortunately, the Capture Styler isn't the only avenue towards purification we're looking into, so if this doesn't work, no big deal, we'll figure something else out," Petrel said. He frowned. "But most of our other options are less efficient or portable as the Stylers, so we're kinda betting a lot on this working."

"So now you want us to help you further your diabolical plans?" Pichu asked angrily.

"A diabolical plan that'll save thousands of innocent Pokémon who've been tortured and twisted into living weapons by the Nihilators," Proton pointed out. "You Rescue Teams are all about saving people. Are you saying you'll turn your back on them just because the only way to rescue them is to help the people you consider to be the bad guys? Even knowing we aren't _nearly_ as bad as the _other_ bad guys?"

Pichu hesitated at that. "W-well…I…"

Max sighed. "I suppose it _would_ be the lesser of two evils…"

"But…but we don't have to!" Matthias pointed out. "We already have the egg! We have what we came for! We can just grab our friends and leave! We can let them find some other kids to test this for them!"

Max raised an eyebrow. "Then you're willing to let them kidnap and force another group of kids like us into helping them with this? And allow Tiny's mother to continue to be not only a tormented monster, but a pawn in their game of global domination?"

"Wh-what? I…I…" Matthias hesitated, and then slowly shook his head. "No. No, I'm not. It…it would go against everything Raiki…Dad…and everyone else have taught me."

"Which is why you wanted _us_, out of any other bunch of kids you could have used," Pichu said slowly, raising his head to stare at the Rockets. "Because you knew that we'd never turn our backs on someone in need."

"That's right," Petrel said cheerfully. "So…I take it you'll be helping us with our test?"

"Yes," Pichu said sullenly, grabbing one of the Stylers from the suitcase.

"But we're taking her back with us," Max said, grabbing one of his own. "_And_ the egg."

"Sure, keep them. We won't need them anymore after this, anyway," Proton said.

"So, uh, how do we use this thing?" Matthias asked, staring rather dubiously at the device he'd just strapped onto his wrist.

"What, you weren't listening to the explanation I gave Jeremiah?" Petrel asked.

"Uh, no, we were a little busy fighting your henchmon," Pichu said.

"I heard it," Max reported. "I always find new technology fascinating. I think I know how it works."

"Really? Good, then you can tell us what to do," said a relieved Matthias, who wasn't very good with technology and didn't relish having to figure things out on his own.

"These things have some kind of telepathic circuits that cause the Capture Disc—that's this round thing here—to obey our thoughts," Max explained. "We basically will it to launch towards our target—in this case, the Shadow Tyranitar—and pilot it with our thoughts. We need to make them draw loops around the Tyranitar repeatedly until the little bar that will appear on this screen here fills up completely. Once it's full, she'll be under our control, and purified…I think."

"How does it do that?" Matthias asked.

"Somehow completing circles conveys our feelings to her heart, I believe," Max said. "And we want to save her and open her heart, and that will be transmitted to her by the Styler, and if it's done strongly enough times, we should be able to break through the corrupted Aura surrounding her and purify her."

"Yep, that's pretty much it," Petrel said.

"One other thing you should note is that she's not going to be paralyzed like before," Proton added. "She's on the move, and angry. She'll notice you're making some spinning things go around her that are doing _something_ to her heart, and she'll lash out. When you move your Styler, it leaves a trail behind it, which you need to use to make a loop to successfully affect her. However, if her body or attacks touch any part of the line, it'll break and you need to start another loop. Fortunately, it won't affect the progress you're making on the purification gauge, which was apparently a major fault in some of the very first Stylers used by the human Rangers in olden days."

"What happens if she attacks the Styler rather than the line?" Pichu asked.

"Pretty much the same thing, except that your Styler takes damage, and it'll eventually break if it gets hit too often," Petrel said. "Right, I think that's everything important. So, ready to try them out?"

"I have one more question," Matthias asked.

"Yes?" Petrel asked.

"Why hasn't she attacked us while we've been standing here talking?" Matthias asked, pointing to the Tyranitar, who was still standing some distance away, roaring and blazing.

"…Er…she's so crazed and angry due to her Shadow state she…doesn't know we're here?" Petrel said uncertainly.

"And why hasn't the cave collapsed? Shouldn't that have happened by now with all this shaking?" Matthias continued.

"Don't question it, that's just the way these things roll," Max said.

Pichu nodded. "Yeah, my brother questions it all the time, and it's only a matter of time before he goes completely insane."

"Oh…all right," Matthias said doubtfully.

"Now, before something else happens…let's save our friends and Tiny's mom!" Pichu said, pointing his Styler at the Tyranitar, concentrating on her. The screen on the Styler flipped up and targeted the Tyranitar, data and vital statistics flashing around the cross-hairs. As the others brought their Stylers up, Pichu tried to do as Max had told him, _willing_ his Capture Disc to move…

And, much to his excitement, it launched off his arm, spinning across the floor and leaving a trail of colored light behind it as the words 'Capture On!" flashed on his display. "All right! I did it! I did-" That's when Max and Matthias's Discs flew off their wrists and crashed into his. "Hey!"

"Sorry," Max apologized. "This is my first time using this. I need to get the hang of it." He narrowed his eyes and focused on his Disc, which wobbled a bit before it veered away from the others and started making circles on the ground. "Hmm…fascinating. It really does respond to my thoughts…"

"So…I just _want_ it to move somewhere, and it…does?" Matthias asked, gritting his teeth and concentrating on his Disc. Much to his amazement, it jumped away from Pichu's and started zigzagging across the floor. "Yeah! I got it, I got-" Abruptly, the Disc started wobbling and spinning crazily all over the place. "Whoa! What the-"

"You have to stay focused to maintain proper control over it," Pichu said, eyes locked on his Disc, which he was using to try and draw a kanji on the floor with its trail. "Imagine it's like your sword, a part of you, something you have absolute control over…an extension of your body that does only what you will it to."

"My sword broke when it hit that monster's armor. Does that mean I'm maimed or something?" Matthias asked sardonically.

Pichu rolled his eyes, nearly causing the Disc to slip up and turn the kanji he was writing into something rather…vulgar. "You know what I mean…"

Matthias sighed. "Yeah, I guess I do." He focused on his Disc, and soon managed to regain full control over it.

"Excellent!" Petrel said. "I think you've gotten the hang of it!"

"Good, now go and capture that Tyranitar already," Proton said.

"We don't take orders from you!" Pichu snapped. "…But, uh, I guess we should go and capture that Tyranitar already." His Disc twitched and spun towards the Tyranitar. The other two quickly placed themselves on either side of it as they approached the monster, who paused in her mindless fury to look at the three tops in confusion, the bright lights they generated causing a…strange reaction in her.

"So, uh, how do we do this?" Matthias asked. "It's going to be a little tricky to have all our Discs looping her at the same time without colliding, isn't it?"

"Two of us can have our Discs distract her attention while the third draws circles around her," Max suggested. "Pichu, you seem to have mastered your Styler the fastest, so you should be the one to take that role."

"No problem," Pichu said.

"Why does he have the best control over his thing, anyway?" Matthias wondered. "He's just as fresh to it as we are."

"Yes, but he's had more experience fighting or using a sword than either of us," Max pointed out. "So he's already got more skill in focus and willpower than we do."

As Pichu's Disc zipped towards the Tyranitar, Max and Matthias's started zigzagging all over the place, leaving chaotic squiggles of light behind them. The Tyranitar frowned in perplexity, briefly wondering what was going on, then decided she didn't like it and opened her mouth, firing a Hyper Beam at the discs. Matthias and Max quickly steered their Discs out of the way, allowing the Beam to cut a tremendous trench through the ground between them. She grunted in annoyance and started stomping the ground repeatedly, causing boulders to fall from the ceiling and crash all over the place, forcing the Treecko and Rattata to take evasive maneuvers to protect their Discs from the rocks. Inexperienced Matthias was unable to maintain full control over his Disc with all the shaking, however, and accidentally steered his Disc right under one of the falling rocks. Max saw this and quickly piloted his Disc into Matthias's, knocking it out of the way and taking the impact full-on. Both of them flinched as feedback from the damaged Discs flooded into their minds, Max's a bit worse than Matthias's due to getting hit by a boulder rather than another Disc. "Max! Are you all right?" Matthias asked in alarm.

"I'm all right," Max grunted. "These things seem to be pretty durable, my Styler still is in working order."

"You didn't have to do that! That looked like it hurt," Matthias said in concern.

"Well, I had to," Max said Mareepishly. "Teammates are supposed to help each other, right? Like I should have yesterday, during the simulation."

"…Yeah. Yeah, you're right," Matthias said. He smiled. "I'll be more careful from now on. You do the same…or else I'm going to have to return the favor!"

Max smirked. "Duly noted."

"Here we go…here we go…yeah, we're doing good!" Pichu said with a grin as he drew loop after loop around the distracted Tyranitar's feet, causing the bar on his screen to start filling up more and more…

Until the Tyranitar growled and started stomping towards Max and Matthias's Discs, causing her to nearly step on Pichu's. The electric mouse squealed in alarm and quickly steered it out of the way, bringing it into the Tyranitar's range of vision. She growled angrily and tried to crush it with her feet, stomping all over the place and forcing Pichu to zigzag erratically to dodge her, the line his Disc made being shattered repeatedly by the Tyranitar's feet. Max and Matthias quickly brought their Discs over to try and catch the Tyranitar's attention, but she was too focused on Pichu's Disc to notice them. Losing her temper, she lashed out with Dragon Tail, sweeping her tail across the ground and smashing it into Pichu's Disc, sending it flying through the air and crashing into the wall. Pichu cried in pain and fell to his knees as stars exploded inside his head. "PICHU!" Max and Matthias cried in alarm, immediately breaking their concentration and causing their Discs to wobble and fall over. The Tyranitar roared triumphantly and started charging towards the immobile Discs, intending to crush them, and Max and Matthias had to quickly turn away from Pichu to reactivate the Discs and move them out of the way before they could get destroyed.

"I'm…I'm fine! Don't take your eyes off of her…we have to keep going, no matter what!" Pichu said through gritted teeth as he tried to stand back up, ignoring how much his head was throbbing. Focusing through the pain, he managed to right his Disc and start it spinning again, trying not to worry too much about how wobbly it now was.

"Hmm, we might want to install something to keep our agents from feeling that level of pain in response to damage to their Capture Discs," Petrel commented.

"I dunno, I think it's a good thing. The pain will keep them sharp," Proton said.

"These Stylers are supposed to _help_ (and brainwash) people, not harm them," Petrel pointed out. "That policy should extend to the people using them as well."

Proton rolled his eyes. "Wuss."

Pichu tried to get his Disc near the Tyranitar again while his teammates played distraction, but she wasn't falling for it this time and fired a Hyper Beam at the Disc when it approached, forcing him to quickly reverse direction to dodge the attack. She crossed her arms and started hurling Stone Edges outwards, and Pichu and the others had to swerve and dodge all over the place to evade the sharp rocks. "Dang! I can't get close to her!" Pichu grunted. "And if I can't get close, I can't loop her!"

"Couldn't you draw a circle around her from further out?" Matthias suggested.

"No, the trail doesn't last that long," Max noted, steering his Disc in a wide arc around the Tyranitar. While a curvilinear trail of light emanated from the Disc, it faded the further it got away from the Disc, until by the time the Disc had made a complete circle and was back where it started, there was no longer a tail end there.

"Hmm, that's another thing we need to add. Longer lines," Petrel commented.

"Well, even if this purification thing doesn't work, at least we're getting some valuable test data," Proton said.

"Gee, I'm so glad we're able to help you guys out," Pichu said sarcastically.

"Thanks, we appreciate it," Petrel said.

Matthias frowned, getting a sudden idea. "Wait…when her attacks touch the line, it breaks it, but what if _we_…" Trailing off, he steered his Disc towards the trail left by Max's. Much to his delight, the Disc passed right through the line without breaking it, and the point where both their trails intersected was glowing brighter. "That's it! Max, Pichu, start drawing circles around her again, I think I know what to do!"

"Huh? What do you-" Max started.

"Just trust me, okay? After all, you aren't the only one who can get bright ideas!" Matthias said.

"…Heh, if you've got a plan, then I'm all for it, Brother!" Pichu said. "Max, let's do this! I have a good feeling about this…" Max shrugged and complied.

The Tyranitar frowned as two of the spinning shiny things whizzed past her, going in opposite directions. She briefly wondered which one to go for, then decided to just attack both at once with Stone Edge. Max and Pichu's Discs weaved out of harm's way, but the rocks pierced the trails, destroying them and causing them to start from scratch…

Where Matthias sent his Disc in, his trail intersecting close to the end of Pichu's line and heading in the opposite direction, the combined lines glowing brighter and creating a rough arch. "Oh, I see!" Max gasped, astonished he hadn't thought of this idea sooner. "That's brilliant, Matthias!" He changed the direction of his Disc, moving it around and behind Pichu's Disc and passing through his trail, aiming right for where he estimated Matthias's Disc was going to be in a moment. When the Rattata's Disc spun into view, Max steered his Disc behind it, intersecting their lines and creating a vaguely triangular ring around the Tyranitar, causing her to flinch as the lines flashed and her Shadow Aura shrunk slightly.

"Yeah! That did the trick!" Pichu exulted as the purification gauge rose significantly.

"Ooh, very clever," said an impressed Petrel. "We're going to need to remember that one: when working together, multiple Stylers can Capture Pokémon faster. I guess this is the power of teamwork or something, huh?"

Proton grunted. "Eh, I guess it's okay."

Team Awesome managed to complete another loop while the Rockets discussed this latest development. "All right, this should work," Max said. "This will allow us to complete full circuits around her without having to worry about getting close enough for us to get stomped or smashed by her."

"Uh, what's to keep her from breaking the loops with her other attacks?" Matthias asked as the exasperated Tyranitar roared and fired a Hyper Beam at his Disc's line, breaking it and preventing the combined loop they had been building from completing.

"Well…nothing, I guess," Max admitted.

"I guess we'll have to do our best to avoid it when she does that," Pichu said.

"Our Discs can, but what can we do about the lines?" Matthias persisted.

"…I'm working on that," Max admitted Mareepishly.

"Actually, I think I may have an idea," Pichu said. "Everyone, line your Discs up and spin in opposite directions around her!"

"Why? What good will that do?" Matthias asked.

"Maybe nothing, maybe a lot, we'll see soon enough," Pichu said cryptically.

His friends shrugged and complied with his instructions, lining up their Discs and then moving away from each other, two going one way and one going the other, spinning in circles around the Tyranitar. She growled and flung Stone Edges, breaking their trails and coming close to hitting the Discs, but the Discs dodged the rocks and just made new lines. The Discs passed each other behind the Tyranitar and came back around to her front, compelling her to fire at them with a Hyper Beam. Pichu promptly reversed his Disc and went back the other way to dodge the beam, and the others did as he did. "Is there a point to this?" Max asked.

"Yes," Pichu said. "Keep moving in opposing directions, and whenever you see an opening…fill it! And I mean that literally, whenever you see a gap in a line, fill it up with your own. So long as we keep at it, we should be able to draw our lines faster than she can break them!" He started moving his Disc chaotically, first spinning it one way, and then another, making it almost impossible for the Tyranitar to predict where it would be next. The Tyranitar tried to focus her attacks on it, but when she did the other two, realizing what Pichu was up to, would quickly start looping around her. When she switched attention to one of their lines, Pichu would swoop in and take one of his friends' places, and when she tried attacking him again, the friend he'd swapped out with would come back in to loop once more. Giving up on Hyper Beams or on moving fast enough to catch up to the lines, she tried wide-area attacks, Rock Slides and Stone Edges, but whenever she shattered someone's line, another Disc was almost immediately there to fill it in since it was coming around the other way, forcing her to constantly turn in circles to try and keep up with the Discs whizzing all over the place and irritating her peripheral vision. All the spinning, both of the Discs and of herself, started taking its toll on her, and she began to stagger about, getting dizzy and confused. By this point, in spite of her efforts, the trio had managed to complete several more loops around her. She'd broken more than they'd finished, but they'd just kept at it Growlithedly, taking whatever victories they could get, slowly wearing her down and filling up the purification gauge, her Shadow Aura getting smaller and smaller the longer the fight went on.

"Phew…I think we've almost got her!" Pichu said.

"And she's almost got us," Matthias groaned, sweat matting his fur. "I don't think I can take much more of this…"

"Neither can she," Max pointed out, wiping some sweat away. "I believe one more united loop should do the trick. The gauge is almost full, which means she's almost purified!"

"Which also means we've almost won!" Pichu agreed. "Okay…let's try that finishing move one more time, guys?"

Matthias grimaced. "What, that again?"

"Would that even work without a sword?" Max asked.

"I don't see why not! Of course, uh, we probably shouldn't actually touch her or each other with our Discs. It should still work the same, though, and look really cool!" Pichu said insistently.

"Well, all right…I guess we can give it one more go," Matthias said.

Pichu grinned. "Right! Here we go!" They positioned each of their Discs at a point surrounding the Tyranitar. "Team Awesome Finishing Move: DELTA SLASH!" Each Disc spun to the right, leaving a straight line behind it. The Discs spun into the tail ends of their partners' Discs to create a triangle, then turned left and inward, whizzing under the Tyranitar's feet (and doing their best not to slam into each other) and coming back out, their lines intersecting behind them. The Discs spun out of the triangle and skidded to a halt. The dizzy Tyranitar regained her senses just in time to notice the diagram that had been drawn underneath her, but not in time to do anything about it as suddenly the lines flared upward, engulfing her in a triangular pillar of light. She bellowed in surprise and terror, her Shadow Aura desperately igniting to protect her…only to get ripped to shreds by the unstoppable flood of light, until finally there was nothing left of it.

As the light faded, the maddened look in her eyes slowly dissipated as well. "Uhhh…what…where…where am…" she whispered, throat raw from all the screaming and roaring she'd been doing. "Ohhhh…why is the world…spinning…" Groaning, her eyes rolled back in her head and she sagged forwards, collapsing on the ground.

Team Awesome collapsed as well, their displays flashing the words 'Pokémon Captured' over and over. "We…we did it…" Matthias gasped.

"We purified her…we…we won…" Max said, breathless both from amazement and from sheer exhaustion.

"Yeah…" Pichu managed a weak smile. "Won't Tiny be…happy?"

"He certainly will. Good show, boys!" Petrel said jovially. "Your parents will surely be pleased by your accomplishment here today!"

"As will our Boss. Now if you'll please relinquish those Stylers, we'll be on our way," Proton said, signaling the Grunts, who came forwards and started pulling the Stylers off the three children.

"H-hey, give that back!" Max protested as the Styler was wrenched off of him.

"Get your paws off me!" Pichu snarled, trying to generate a Thundershock, but was too tired from using the Styler to be able to put up much resistance.

Matthias, not seeing any point in fighting at this point, since the Rockets could defeat them easily if they _really_ wanted to, resignedly gave up his Styler. _Oh well…it was fun while it lasted…_

"Thank you very much for participating in our little experiment," Petrel said cheerfully as a green time portal appeared at the back of the cave, Team Paradox stepping out of it. "We appreciate your assistance and will make good use of the data you've provided us. Now if you'll please excuse us, we must be on our way."

"No…dammit, come back! We aren't…we aren't through here!" Pichu snarled, struggling to his feet only to fall on his face.

"For now? Yeah, we are," Proton sneered. "I'd be more than happy to go a few rounds with you, kid…but not right now. Try again when you're older and more on my level." Pichu ground his teeth in frustration as the Crobat vanished into the portal, the Grunts following after him one by one, unable to stop them.

Max frowned, realizing the Rockets weren't moving to pick up Jeremiah, Smogon, or Chao. "Wait…Team Skull…aren't you taking them with you?"

Petrel shook his head. "No, we were never going to let them into Team Rocket. We only told them that to trick them into helping us lure you here. They're just thugs with little sense of decency or standards, not unlike the Nihilators. We of Team Rocket like to think we've got a bit more class than that. You can keep 'em. We have no use for them."

"…But isn't Smogon your nephew?" Matthias protested.

"Regretfully, yes," Petrel said. "And kind of a disappointment, at that…oh well. Maybe some time in the town jail will finally teach him a lesson. Anyway, I'd better get going. I'm sure we'll see each other again someday!"

"The next time we do," Pichu growled. "I'm kicking your butt."

Petrel laughed. "I'm sure you will, kiddo. I'm sure you will." He vanished into the portal, leaving no Rockets but Team Quantum behind.

"And what do you lot want?" Max asked. "Going to make some cryptic comments about the future or fate or how you're manipulating us for our own good?"

"Not today, sorry," Paradox said, gesturing and causing the wounds of all the young Pokémon to vanish, time reversing itself to mend their injuries. "We're just going to heal you and leave."

"We would thank you and tell you that what you've done today helped to ensure the perfect future will come to pass, but we rather doubt you'll appreciate it," Crono said. Max frowned, wondering why the sword-wielding Grovyle looked…familiar…

"No, we wouldn't," Matthias said sullenly.

"Not even you, Pichu, a strong believer in destiny?" Aeon asked.

"As the second-born son, I've never had much of a destiny compared to my brother," Pichu said. "I'm going to be a hero, that's for certain…but that's a choice I've made, not one that someone else did. The sacred sword will never be mine…which means I have to make my own path to become a samurai hero of legend."

"Then we have nothing more to say to each other," Aeon said. He turned to the other two. "We've done what we needed to do and seen what we needed to see. Let's depart."

Paradox nodded. "Right. Time to-"

"Crono?" someone whispered. The Grovyle and the rest of Team Aeon stiffened. Team Awesome blinked in confusion and looked over their shoulders, surprised to see Hubie had regained consciousness…and was staring at the time travelers as if he _knew_ them. "Marle? Janus? Is that you?"

Crono's eyes widened. "No…"

Paradox gasped. "G-Glenn?" Aeon gestured, his eye flashing, and suddenly the Piplup groaned and passed out. "Hey! Why did you-"

"We have to go," the Dusknoir said.

"But…but Aeon, that's-" Crono stammered.

"He made his choice. He is no longer one of us," Aeon said curtly. He floated into the portal and disappeared.

Paradox looked guiltily back at Hubie, sighed, and shook her head regretfully. "Yeah…I guess not…come on, Crono." She flew through the portal as well and vanished.

Crono bit his lip and turned away. "…Sorry, Glenn." He walked into the portal. It sealed shut behind him.

Team Awesome stared at where the time travelers had disappeared blankly. "…What the heck just happened?" Matthias asked finally.

Max groaned and laid his head on the ground. "You know what, I'm too tired to care. Let's contact Scotty to transport us all back to town. We can tell the grown-ups everything there and let them sort it out; it's what they're there for."

Pichu nodded. "Yeah." Abruptly, he burst into a grin. "I'm not entirely sure what just happened there, and everything we've gone through today was way tougher than I had expected…but at least one good thing has come out of all this."

"What, we've proven we can pull together as a team and therefore shouldn't be reassigned to other partners?" Matthias asked.

"Even better, I think I've finally earned my name!" Pichu said excitedly. "I'm the youngest member of my family to ever use Volt Tackle, that's gotta be worth a naming ceremony, and a really good one, too! Ohhh, just wait'll my bro hears that I'm getting named before him! I can't wait to see the look on his face!" His friends facefaulted.

…

Meanwhile, in Chroma Ruins…

Cranger led Team Nightshade deeper into the ancient Lemewrian ruins, the stones around them growing older and older the further they plunged into the depths. While they had passed by several Ghosts and other undead creatures in the upper reaches of the catacombs, as they descended into the lowest reaches of the ruins they began to spot fewer and fewer inhabitants, until finally the only dead they came across was the ordinary kind, the ones that didn't get up and walk about but just sat in coffins being boring. "Why isn't there anyone else down here?" Jerry asked after a while, realizing it had been almost an hour since the last time they'd seen a living…er, unliving thing.

"This area is where the oldest and first among us used to dwell, back when the ruins were still young," Callista explained. "But when the great cataclysm struck the Earth, very few of the undead who used to inhabit this space came back…at least, not in any form we would have recognized. Everyone you saw in the upper levels are more recent, only having died in the last thousand years or so."

"Or born, in your case," Mary said.

Callista grimaced, hating to be reminded that she was still mortal. "Essentially."

"Although there is certainly lots of space down here, none of us have chosen to inhabit it," Cranger explained. "We leave it alone, out of respect for those who came before us that we will never get the opportunity to meet."

"And because it kind of creeps us out," Nefertiti admitted. "We're dead, yes, but we're _active_. Our ancestors down here…aren't. We know there is more awaiting us beyond this world, but…well, we're so used to being here that the idea of leaving and becoming _really_ dead is rather…frightening. We're kind of afraid of the beyond, because it's so, well…beyond everything we know and are used to."

Cranger frowned at her. "Not that most of us like to admit that…"

"Well, usss living folk are pretty ssscared of death too, sssometimesss," Evan said. "I guesss we aren't that different, huh?"

"…I think that's stretching things a bit," Gary said.

"So, basically, your people don't live down here because it reminds them that not even they are truly immortal?" Maren asked.

Cranger grimaced. "Essentially, yes."

"There is another reason," Callista said.

"Yeah? What's that?" Mary asked.

"The Mirror of Truth. Most of us are rather…uneasy around it," Nefertiti said.

"Why?" Janine asked.

"Because it shows the truth about whoever looks into it…and sometimes, that's not a truth we want to confront," Callista said ominously.

Gary sighed. "And it's a truth I'm going to have to face if we're going to get that Compass piece."

"Royal Ssseal pieccce," Evan corrected helpfully.

Gary rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

"Don't worry, Gary, we know you can do it," Jerry said.

"We do?" Evan hissed. Mary punched him. "Ow! Uh, I mean, yesss, we do."

"So, how much further is the Mirror?" Maren asked. "It feels like we've been walking for a while."

"You're not walking, you're flying," Mary said.

Maren rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean."

"Well, we would have been here sooner if so many of you weren't bound by your fleshy cages," Callista said contemptuously.

"Oh, and you're not?" Mary asked.

"Actually, no, she's not. She's spent so much time among us undead that she's learned how to walk through walls and floors just like a real Ghost," Cranger said proudly.

"…Oh," Mary said.

"Cool!" Evan said.

"Hmm, that _would _be a useful skill in my line of work," Janine said, looking interested. "I don't suppose you could teach me how to do it?"

Callista considered this. "…Well, I guess I could try. It's something that's always come naturally to me, but that's because I've been around the undead all my life. It's something I just…picked up along the way."

"Well, my brother is a ghost, and we trained together for most of our childhood after we evolved and split off from each other, if that counts for anything," Janine said.

"Hmm…perhaps," Callista murmured, rubbing her chin thoughtfully as she looked at the Ninjask. "That's right, your kind have an unusual form of evolution, don't they? I wonder if there is some way I could mimic the process…split away from my body when I evolve, so that my soul and corporeal form are two different people?"

"You could do that, but then what would your body think?" Jerry pointed out. "Wouldn't she be unhappy you cast her away?"

"Or worssse, jealousss that one of you got to become a Ghossst but the other didn't," Evan added.

"Plus, there's no way to know which of you gets to be the Ghost, while the other one stays, well, fleshy, until it's too late," Gary said.

"That's true," Callista admitted. "Oh well, it was just a thought."

"You're really serious about this becoming undead thing, aren't you?" Mary asked.

Callista nodded. "I'm the only thing with a pulse for miles and miles. I've always felt…somewhat out of place among my deceased brethren. Becoming like them will make me feel like I finally belong."

"You _already_ belong, sister," Nefertiti said warmly. "You always have."

"True, but so long as warm blood courses through my veins, there will always be something separating me from the rest of you," Callista lamented. "Which is why I endeavor to break down that barrier…so I will be able to hug you at last without you always fearing I'll wither away and die from your touch." Nefertiti flushed, speechless.

"Well, if you find a way to do that, more power to you," Gary said. "But that doesn't answer Maren's question: how much further?"

"We are here," Cranger said, stopping before one of many darkened archways lining the ancient corridor they were walking down.

"Oh, okay," Gary said.

"It'sss dark in here!" Evan complained as they passed through the archway and into a pitch-black chamber that not even those with night vision were able to perceive.

"Not for long," Callista said, concentrating, Aura blazing up around her. Four blue tongues of flame spiraled away from her and landed in sconces placed on the walls, igniting them and illuminating the room…

And the Mirror of Truth. It stood on a tall dais in the center of the room, positioned so that all found their eyes drawn to it and yet were unable to see their reflections from the entrance. It was surprisingly plain, a single sheet of rectangular glass held in an unadorned frame of some silvery metal. A chill ran down their spines as they stared at it, something telling them they were beholding something truly ancient; older than their hosts, older than the ruins, maybe even older than the Earth itself…

And something else told them it was alive. And aware of them.

Jerry swallowed. "Wh-why do I get the feeling that it's looking at me?"

"It looks at all of us," Nefertiti said with reverence and more than a little fear. "It stares into our hearts, reading our innermost thoughts and feelings…seeing the secrets we keep from everyone, even ourselves."

"…I am beginning to understand why your people stay away from this artifact," Janine said, sounding nonplussed, which alarmed Maren, because if something unnerved the ninja, it must be _really_ bad.

"And it's going to look into me, soon enough…" Gary murmured.

"It already is," Cranger said. "But now that you are here, you will peer back into it…and in doing so, know yourself completely."

"And if I do that, I'll get the fragment we need?" Gary asked. Cranger nodded. The Gengar sighed. "All right. What do I have to do?"

"Get onto the dais and enter the mirror. Once inside, you will be forced to confront the truth about yourself. More than that, I cannot say," the elder Gengar said apologetically.

"Right, like anything's ever easy for us…" Gary sighed. "Well, no sense putting it off then. Um, how long am I going to be in there?"

"That depends entirely on you," Cranger said. "However long it takes you to come to terms with the truth is how long you will be inside the Mirror."

"Ssso…we'll never sssee him again, then?" Evan asked. Mary punched him. "Ow!"

"We'll wait here for you," Mary promised. "No matter how long it takes, we'll wait here until you return. And you _will_ return, Gary…won't you?"

"…Yeah. Of course I will!" Gary said, managing a grin. "You're my team! My…friends. I know we aren't always the best to each other, but…deep down, I know we all care a lot about one other, right?"

The others nodded, except for Janine. Maren elbowed her. "Hmm? Oh, uh, yes. Right."

"Gary…be safe in there, okay? I don't know what you'll have to face, but I _know_ you can handle it," Jerry said loyally, causing Gary to smile.

"But in cassse you don't, am I leader if you never make it back or go insssane?" Evan asked hopefully.

"No! I'm leader if something happens to Gary! Which…which it won't!" Mary said.

"Actually Mary, Jerry's in charge if something goes wrong," Gary said.

"WHAT?" everyone asked incredulously.

"M-me?" Jerry stammered in disbelief. "Why?"

"Because you're the only member of this team who isn't keeping secrets, working towards their own agenda, stealing food, or Evan," Gary said.

"Hey!" Evan shouted. Maren fidgeted.

"I still need to kill you for taking my jam," Janine snarled at Mary, who sweatdropped.

"I feel I can trust you the most out of everyone…which is why I know you'll do fine as leader if something happens to me," Gary said.

Jerry trembled, tearing up. "I…I swear I won't let you down, Gary!" he cried.

Gary chuckled and rubbed the Cherubi's head affectionately. "I know you won't, kid." He turned to Mary. "I'm sure everything will be fine, but in case it's not, I know I can count on you to keep everyone safe and make sure Evan doesn't choke to death on something, right?"

"You can count on me to do that, but not to lead?" Mary asked sullenly.

"Mary, you're my best and oldest friend, and it's precisely _because_ of that I don't trust you to lead. I know you too well," Gary said.

Mary sighed. "Yeah, point. Don't worry, I'll…I'll try to keep everyone on track. You can count on me. And…Gary?"

"Yeah?" Gary asked.

Mary opened her mouth, tried to say the words she'd been harboring for what felt like forever…and, yet again, found herself not up to the task. "I…nothing. I'll tell you when you get back, okay?" she said, cursing herself for Combuskening out again.

"Sure, okay," Gary said, wondering what was up with her. He turned to Maren and Janine. "And as for you two…you'll make sure they keep on task and finish the mission, won't you?"

Maren nodded. "Of course, Gary. You know we will."

"We will make certain the Princess is rescued, no matter what happens," Janine said.

Gary smiled knowingly. "Yeah, I know you will." He took a deep breath, and then turned away before he could lose his nerve. "So…here I go. Wish me luck, guys."

"Good luck," they said quietly.

Refusing to look back lest he change his mind, Gary floated into the air and landed on the dais right in front of the Mirror. He stared at his reflection…

And it stared back, except the thing he saw in the Mirror was _not_ himself. Or at least, it wasn't himself as he was now. "No way…" Gary whispered, raising a hand to touch his cheek, awed and horrified when the figure in the Mirror did the same thing. "It's…it's me…like…I used to be. Back when I was…alive." The Gengar stared at the human in the mirror, both intimately familiar with this reflection but at the same time feeling like he was seeing it for the first time. The other Gary was taller than he was, with pinkish skin rather than the purple he was used to now, wearing a black T-shirt and purple jeans, with a purple backpack, waistpack, armbands, and a small purple stone hanging from a string around his neck. His thick brown hair was about as spiky as Gary's hair was now, but his eyes were green rather than red, and his mouth wasn't fixed in a permanent grin. It was…rather unnerving, to be honest. "This is…so weird…"

And things got weirder when suddenly the reflection stopped mimicking Gary's every action and crooked its finger, beckoning him forwards. Gary stiffened in disbelief, wondering if he was hallucinating or something, or if this Mirror was playing some kind of trick on him, which wouldn't really be much of a surprise. When Gary didn't move, the human reflection frowned, reached into its waistpack, and pulled out an unassuming shard of glass. Gary gasped, realizing it was the Crest fragment they were looking for. Reflexively, he reached out for it, and was dismayed when his reflection shook its head and put the shard away, then beckoned again and extended its other hand, palm open. Gary stared at it for a moment, uncertain…

And then he reached out and pressed his hand against his reflection's. Much to his amazement, his hand passed through the surface of the mirror with only the slightest resistance, the image rippling faintly as his hand transposed itself in it. Alarm, he tried to pull his hand back, but something on the other side grabbed it and _pulled_, and before Gary could do anything, he found himself tugged forwards and into the mirror, vanishing without a trace.

His friends gasped when they saw this. "He-he's gone!" Jerry gasped.

"Okay, _that_ was freaky," Maren said.

"Wh-where did he go?" Evan asked.

"He has entered the world of the Mirror," Cranger said. "There, he will either accept whatever truth it wishes to show him…or go mad from the revelation."

"He won't go mad," Mary insisted. "He'll come back to us. He promised."

Maren nodded. "And when he does…he'll find us right here, waiting for him."

…

Meanwhile, in northeastern Sinnorre…

As the moon shone brightly down on Treeshroud Forest, the new village of the Caretakers was full of life and light as everyone came together to throw a great feast in honor of their guests. All the villagers had descended from their treehouses to the forest floor, where great bonfires had been set ablaze which several Pokémon in colorful tribal costumes and makeup danced about, much to the delight of their peers and the younger tribesmon. Fresh food was constantly being piled before the Pokémon who would rather sit and eat than take part in the dancing and festivites by attractive servers, and it was all the diners could do to finish their massive helpings and leave room for more before the next course came around. The air was filled with music as singers joyfully recited chants and melodies that had been part of their culture for generations, as well as more than a few they'd written fairly recently.

None of this spectacle was lost on their three visitors, who were awestruck and impressed by the display the Caretakers were putting on for them. Only a few weeks ago, the Pokémon who were now dancing and feasting and celebrating had been emaciated, dying, and on the brink of utter despair. Now they were full of color and vitality, and if it weren't for telltale scars or other…deformities, it would be almost impossible to know that any of these cheerful and happy Pokémon had only recently been released from unimaginably brutal torture and enslavement, their ancestral home destroyed and many of their kin slain, and more than a few of them driven mad by grief and Tarantulas' cold-blooded experimentation. As Mondo hooted and cheered and stuffed his face full, a somewhat uneasy Gardenia couldn't help commenting on this to the Pokémon she had been seated with, Michael's wife, Chora. (That's right, Michael was married. Don't look so surprised, he _is_ leader of the tribe, after all, and there's no reason for someone like that not to be married off pretty young, is there?) "Everything you're doing for us, everything you've managed to accomplish since coming here, is simply astonishing. But…how is it possible? After everything that was done to you, everything that you've lost and all the pain and cruelties you've suffered, how are you able to laugh and dance and sing and act like…well, none of it happened?" the Cacturne asked her companion. "I mean, it wasn't even that long ago, for goodness' sake! How have you gotten over it so fast?"

"That's a very good question," Michael's wife said. Chora was an attractive Liepard whose sleek purple fur, quiet poise and grace, and nearly impenetrable air of complete self-confidence combined to create an allure that Gardenia, who still felt rather clumsy and unappealing even after her evolution, admired and looked upon with awe and more than a little envy. However, that pretty face now seemed rather melancholy and a little…haunted as it considered Gardenia's query. "I suppose the simple answer is…we haven't gotten over it. I'm not sure we ever will. Some of the scars that the Nihilators inflicted on us go so deep that they will never heal. The best we can do is just…go on with our lives as if nothing has happened, because if we ever ponder too deeply about the full extent of our loss, we will drown in a black pit of misery and tears."

"…Oh," Gardenia said, looking uncomfortable.

"I suppose that is why we were able to muster up so much energy to build the village and put on such a magnificent banquet for you and your friends," Chora continued. "We desperately cling to life and activity to keep from being reminded of…what happened back there. Which is not to say that we are actively trying to forget what the Nihilators did to us, what they did to our Tree. That sorrow will always be a part of us. But…we cannot allow it to dominate our lives, lest we render ourselves impotent and incapable of creating a new future…or worse, imparting too much of that sorrow upon our children and making it impossible for them to enjoy that future."

"I'm sorry," Gardenia said quietly, unable to look at the Liepard. "I didn't mean to pick at an old wound."

Chora managed a smile. "I'm making it sound worse than it is. This forest, our new home, has an energy to it that's created a salve for our injured spirits that makes it easier not to let the horror of…back there intrude too much on our new lives, unless we spend too much time worrying at it. The peace and vitality of this place has given us the power to hope and live again, and the strength to try and put the past behind us. Michael, more than anyone else, has helped us to work towards a new beginning."

"How so?" Gardenia asked.

"He is the Protector. He is the physical and spiritual leader of our people, and very literally the heart of our tribe," Chora said. "He suffered as much as any of us, if not more. His ability to continue leading us despite the trauma and anguish he has suffered, his determination to press on no matter how hopeless things seemed both back there and on the long, hard journey to this place, his earnest _belief_ that we still had a future…all of this made it clear to even his staunchest detractors that, even though he had lost contact with the spirits, he was still more than fit to be our leader. He never once asked us to believe in him, since there were times it seemed as if he had trouble believing in himself…but the fact that he pressed onwards anyway, and was willing to do whatever it took to deliver us to a new home and a fresh start, earned his undying loyalty from us. The fact that his link to the spirit world was renewed when we at last reached this promised land only validated our beliefs that he was indeed our rightful leader, since if the ancestors believed in him, then how could we do any less?"

"…Wow," Gardenia said as she processed this, more than a little awed. "No wonder all of you look up to him and treat him with so much respect."

"He would do anything for us, and we for him," Chora said firmly. "By believing in him, we helped him to believe in himself, and eventually found the strength to believe in ourselves again as well. He is our savior, and I am certain that future generations will remember him as one of the greatest Protectors we have ever had."

"And that's why you love him, huh?" Gardenia asked.

Chora smiled. "Not exactly. I was promised to Michael before either of us was born. It was an impressive accomplishment for my family, to become tied with the sacred bloodline of the Protectors. We grew up together, and since it was already determined that we would be wed someday, I was…encouraged to fall in love with him." She smiled and glanced at the Leafeon, who was sitting nearby with Wabbaku, the two of them possibly the only ones not enjoying the feast, serious looks on their faces as they discussed the situation that had brought the shaman to the village. "It wasn't very hard. Even before he took over his grandmother's role as our leader and guided us out of the ruins of our old home and helped us establish our new one, my heart already belonged to him…but the strength he demonstrated upon becoming the Protector, the way he was able to bind us to him and make us hope again? That only made me love him more."

"Wow," Gardenia said. "That's really romantic."

"And what of you and Wabbaku? Was it not the same for you?" Chora asked.

"Eh, not really," Gardenia admitted. "I only met him fairly recently, to be honest. A…former colleague of mine saved his life, and as such he owed her a life debt. At first I thought it was kind of weird for him to be hanging around us all the time with that serious and often disapproving look on his face, but he was always nice to me and treated me like…like I was a real person, not just somebody to get bossed around." She smiled fondly. "He was…the first person who ever made me feel like that. I guess it was inevitable that I fall in love with him, huh?"

"It sounds that way," Chora said approvingly. "And I suppose you will be wed as well, soon? My marriage to Michael was originally planned to take place years from now, but recent events rather…expedited matters, and it seemed fit that we finalize our engagement after we had gotten situated here in Treeshroud, to symbolize a new beginning as well as provide everyone with an event that would boost morale."

"Ooh, it must have been lovely!" Gardenia said.

"It was," Chora said happily.

"I hope ours will be as nice. Once we finish the thing we need Michael's help for, we're going back to Wabbaku's village in Kanjohenn to get married," Gardenia said. She frowned. "Only…I'm not his first wife. I'm going to be his second, which means I have to share him with someone else."

"Does that bother you?" Chora asked.

"Well…maybe a little," Gardenia admitted. "It means I'm not the only person in his heart, and that he's loved someone else a lot longer than he has me. But…but I'm going to do the best I can to become friends with her. She sounds like a wonderful person from what Wabbaku says, and I'm sure we can get along if we try. And…in any event, so long as I'm with him, he's all I need to be happy."

Chora nodded approvingly. "Very good. The same could be said for Michael and I."

"Are you his only wife?" Gardenia asked.

"For now, yes. He might choose another later, he might not. It is his prerogative. So long as I am capable of producing successors to his bloodline and providing the companionship and…satisfaction he requires, I am all he needs," Chora said.

"He's lucky to have you," Gardenia said. "I hope I can be as good a wife as you."

"I'm still rather new to this myself," Chora reminded her. "I just got married a little while ago, after all. I'm sure you'll do well on your own."

"Thank you. I'll try," Gardenia said. She hesitated. "Um, are you guys okay with us taking Michael when we go out tomorrow? I know he's really important to your emotional well-being and stability, but we…kinda need him really badly."

Chora clenched her paws for a moment, then sighed and said, "To be honest, no, we aren't entirely happy with it. Ever since the Tree's destruction, Michael has provided us with a beacon of hope, an unyielding center to fall back on. We can't really imagine life without him, even for a little while. But…I at least understand that what he will do with you is important, and since the spirits have voiced no objections, they must feel this is something he has to do as well. Besides, I know that you will borrow him for no longer than is necessary. You…_should _have him back in less than a day, right?"

"We'll try to," Gardenia said, sympathizing with the somewhat desperate look in the Liepard's eyes. "If everything goes according to plan, anyway."

"All right. That's good to know," Chora said, though not all of the tension melted from her lithe form. "It's not as if we'll be completely helpless without him, anyway. I can serve as the leader of secular matters in Michael's absence, and Pipi and Mimi will handle the spiritual."

Gardenia blinked. "Pipi and Mimi? What, you mean those two?" She pointed at the heavily scarred and button-eyed Plusle and Minun standing just outside the circle of dancers, as still and motionless as statues. One of them turned to stare at her, and the Cacturne shuddered as that literally lifeless gaze focused on her.

Chora looked at the twins sadly. "Doctor Tarantulas' experiments have irreparably damaged their psyches, but in the process given them a…connection of sorts to the supernatural, one similar to Michael's. They can serve as mediums and oracles when Michael is unable to, although their guidance is somewhat more cryptic and difficult to interpret than his are."

"Did they have anything to say about what we're doing tomorrow?" Gardenia asked.

Chora shrugged. "They just rambled about letters and word scores or something like that. I don't really get it. Then again, I don't really get anything they say these days."

"Poor things," Gardenia said sympathetically. "None of you came out of this unscarred, did you?"

"…No," Chora whispered, her expression haunted, her gaze distant as she relived some past trauma. "Not a one of us."

As Gardenia and Chora sat in uncomfortable silence for a time, the important mons in their lives conversed nearby on what would happen the next day. "Tell me of the foes we are up against," Michael said to Wabbaku, the joy of the festivities unable to lighten his mood due to the knowledge of what the Wobbuffet shaman was asking him to do. "I would know what sort of monsters we may encounter. Even the ancestors seem frightened to speak of them, which doesn't bode well."

"It certainly doesn't," Wabbaku agreed. "My spirits are reluctant to speak of them as well…but here is what I have gleaned from them. The Leviathan was originally a weapon created by the Ruler of Evil during the ancient Crisis Wars as a soul harvester. Since both sides in that multiversal conflict had deities, they were able to resurrect their forces almost immediately after they fell on the field of battle, so they could be dispatched to fight again. The Ruler of Evil tried to counter that by using Leviathan to steal the souls of the Celestial soldiers so that they could be forcibly converted to serve it. However, the Leviathan mutated, the souls it captured bonding with it in agony and terror and eventually causing it to transform into a mindless conglomerate that is always hungry and always hurting, in constant search of more souls to feast on to slate its appetite and lessen the pain caused by its tormented, anomalous existence. Even though the Leviathan was as likely to turn on friend as foe, the Ruler of Evil considered it a success anyway, and used it to devour countless heroes, gods, and spirits. Most of them are still trapped in its bowels, driven mad by their endless torture."

Michael shuddered. "No wonder the spirits are afraid of it…why didn't the Guardians destroy it?"

"They tried to, but when the Gaiavore came into existence they found themselves with bigger problems to deal with then a mere devourer of souls. In the calamity that followed, along with the Ruler of Evil's eventual defeat, quite a lot of weapons and entities from both sides slipped through the cracks…including the Gaiavore itself," Wabbaku said. "It finally resurfaced millions of years later, on our world. It was discovered by the people of Hyperbeamoria, who, due to their common sense being as nonexistent as their taste in art, thought it was a god and started worshipping it and feeding it souls as sacrifices. Eventually the powers that be took notice and sealed Leviathan away, sinking Hyperbeamoria to the bottom of the sea, where it remained…until now."

"Because this 'Mewgle' let it out," Michael said.

Wabbaku nodded. "While Leviathan's power is terrifying, in the end it's little more than a mindless beast, with no plans or motivation beyond impulse and hunger. Mewgle is the true threat, since with his diabolical mind guiding and controlling Leviathan, he will be able to wreak much greater destruction and chaos than it ever could on its own."

Michael frowned. "Mewgle…just what is he?"

"Surprisingly, he actually used to be one of the good spirits," Wabbaku said. "He was a patron of games, and gamers. However, over time he began to grow dissatisfied with gamemakers and the people who played their creations, finding the games too derivative and unimaginative, and feeling that gamers lacked initative or a sense for good quality. He became disillusioned with the industry, feeling they weren't going far enough to stimulate the minds of players, and that the gamers were only making things worse by buying up whatever drivel came out with little complaint or imagination, and when people _did_ complain, he felt that they didn't do enough about it. He began to believe that he could make much more interesting games than the developers he was supposed to be representing, but since he was a patron spirit rather than a creator he lacked the power or authority to do something like that, and his petitions to get that kind of power were constantly rebuffed because his superiors knew that the kinds of games Mewgle wished to make would sacrifice safety in the name of being 'interesting.' Before long, Mewgle became dissatisfied with them as well, and he grew bitter and angry towards all the Heavens. When the Ruler of Evil began recruiting and promising people a better life in a world free of the gods, Mewgle eagerly jumped onboard, believing this was just the break he needed." He shook his head sadly. "The results…were not pretty. The Ruler of Evil's corrupting influence nurtured the darkness that had already taken hold of his heart, molding him into a sadistic control freak whose idea of a good time is creating a game that only he can win, where the rules are constantly changing to support his ego, and the players struggle futilely as he forces them to go through endless deathcourses and impossible challenges until he gets bored and kills them in pointless, stupid ways. I believe the proper term for someone like that is 'Killer GameMaster,' and Mewgle is the demonic personification of such a concept, with all the power he needs to make the consequences and events of his games _real_ rather than just make-believe."

"Oh my," Michael murmured. He sighed and shook his head. "When the divine fall, they always fall farthest, don't they?"

"That is because they descend from such a lofty perch," Wabbaku said sadly. "Some eventually realize what they've become and try to climb back to the heights they once occupied. Mewgle was not one of them. He reveled in his newfound power and evil, and although he was not a major player in the war, he managed to turn a number of universes into twisted playhouses where he forced people repeatedly to the brink of misery and despair and madness just for the fun of it, creating worlds where joy and love could not exist and cruelly torturing and shattering the lives of anyone who was foolish enough to think the world could become a better place. He even started harboring thoughts of usurping the Ruler of Evil and making _all_ the Omniverse like the universes under his control. Fortunately, he was defeated before that could happen, although it's unlikely he would have succeeded in such a mad scheme even had he had the chance to execute it."

"That's a relief," Michael said. "How was he stopped?"

"Before he fell, he had been part of a duality of divine spirits. Although he became evil, his partner remained saintly and loyal to Arceus, and fought against him repeatedly during the war. They were evenly matched, however, until a great warrior appeared who tipped the scales, managing to help Mewgle's counterpart defeat the demon and throw him in chains into the Abyss." Wabbaku leveled his gaze at Michael. "That warrior…was a very distant ancestor of your friend Leo. A prior incarnation, actually."

"Incredible…" Michael murmured. "And now he seeks vengeance against the descendant and reincarnation of the hero who defeated him?"

Wabbaku nodded. "Before his banishment, Mewgle told the hero that he would return one day and have his revenge on the warrior's descendants. You know, standard villainous promises. His oath became a mystic bond that intertwined the fates of Mewgle and that hero, ensuring that they would clash again and again throughout history. Mewgle has escaped from the Abyss numerous times, and has always been defeated and sent back by the reincarnation of the hero, by his former partner, or by a combination of the two. It is an endless cycle pitting the two enemies against each other time and time again…"

"But now that Mewgle has Leviathan, he can break that cycle, can't he?" Michael realized. "If Leviathan eats Leo's soul, he won't be able to reincarnate and fight him again in another life, and Leviathan could also eat the spirit of his old partner, which would mean…"

"Which would mean that he would be able to consume both of the individuals who have ever stood a chance of defeating him, making himself invincible," Wabbaku said.

"Can't someone else defeat him?" Michael asked in alarm.

Wabbaku shook his head. "No. Destiny has stated that only Leo and Mewgle's counterpart can truly defeat him, and even then Leo is the only one who has a chance of destroying him once and for all. It must be them, or no one."

"All right…and I'm guessing the spirit we're going to revive is Mewgle's former partner?" Michael asked.

Wabbaku nodded. "Centuries ago, the last time Mewgle freely walked the Earth, he managed to defeat her and seal her in Aegis Cave. He did not have time to cherish his victory, however, because Leo's ancestor and incarnation of that time managed to best him and imprison him outside his home of Turtle Town. But now Mewgle is free, along with Leviathan, and his old foe is not…and if Leo is ever to stand a chance against both of them, he must join his power with hers to create the only force capable of ending Mewgle's threat forever."

"And we're going to help him do that by freeing the spirit from the cave," Michael said.

Wabbaku nodded. "Indeed. With our powers, we will be able to revive her…however, I fear that Mewgle will realize what we are doing, and try to stop us. If he manages to do so, then there is a very good chance that all hope will be lost."

"…Then…should we go there now? Are we wasting time by sitting here and eating?" Michael asked, looking worried.

Wabbaku shook his head. "He is far from here. Even on Leviathan, it will take him a while to reach Aegis Cave. We have more than enough time to get there before he can."

"…Very well. I will take your word for it," Michael said, although he still looked hesitant. "You seem to have the most knowledge and experience on this matter, so I will defer to you and trust that you know what you are doing."

_So do I,_ Wabbaku thought to himself, trying to hide his uncertainty. _Your people venerate me, claiming that I helped them to find their new beginning…I do not wish to be responsible for miscalculating and depriving them of you, their guiding light. I can only pray that my intuition in this matter is correct, otherwise we will all have to pay for my failure to banish Mewgle from Mickey. Because I was unable to expunge him in time, a great evil has been unleashed, and all the deaths and suffering it has caused fall on my shoulders. _He looked sadly at the Caretakers celebrating around him, all of them happy and content and completely unaware of how close they were to experiencing another horrendous tragedy like the last one. _Dear spirits…these poor people have been through enough already. Do not let them feel more pain because of me._

_We will do the best we can,_ the spirits replied. _But there is only so much we can do for them. The rest…is up to you._

Wabbaku sighed. _Of course it is…_ He sighed and looked up at the stars. _I only hope that I am up to the task set before us. _

_You are,_ the spirits said. _You know you are. And once this last trial is done, you may return home, to be with your family. You have been away for far too long._

_Don't I know it,_ Wabbaku said wistfully. _I shall keep going, then, and happily look forward to the day when I can finally see my loved ones again._ "You and your wife are going to have children someday, aren't you?" he asked Michael out loud.

"Huh? Yes, of course, why?" Michael asked.

"Because I would like them to meet mine someday," Wabbaku said. "I hope they would become friends, like we are."

"Heh, or maybe more," Michael said. "Wouldn't that be something, a familial bond connecting two tribes on completely different continents?"

"Yes, it would be," Wabbaku agreed. "A shame all my children are already betrothed." He stiffened, having a thought. "However…I _am_ going to marry Gardenia soon…"

"And Chora and I _have_ been trying our hardest to conceive," Michael said slowly, getting the same thought. In unison they glanced at their wives (or wife-to-be in Gardenia's case) then looked at each other. "How about my firstborn and your firstborn by Gardenia?"

"Deal," Wabbaku said, shaking Michael's paw with a flipper and sealing the pact.

Michael frowned, struck by a sudden worrisome thought. "But wait, what if they're the same gender?"

"Then the next one either of us have of the opposite gender will marry the firstborn of the other couple," Wabbaku said.

"Works for me," Michael said. Both of them smiled, their worry about what they would have to do tomorrow forgotten in their plans for the future…and the way they'd be getting that future to come to pass.

"Why did they just look at us like that all of a sudden?" Gardenia whispered to Chora, having noticed the glance Wabbaku and Michael had given them.

"Either admiring our beauty or planning to marry our firstborn to each other," Chora said.

"Oh," said Gardenia, uncertain if the Liepard was joking or not.

"Hey baby, how'd you like to have _my_ firstborn?" a slightly intoxicated Mondo asked the next server to refill his bowl.

The server, a comely Archen, actually considered this for a moment. "Sorry, but I'm already a mother. However, I have a friend who's unattached at the moment. I'll let her know you're interested."

"Uh, thanks," Mondo said in surprise as the First Bird Pokémon went away. _Holy crap, that pickup line actually worked? I've gotta start swinging by relatively uncivilized people like this bunch more often, they're completely unfamiliar with my material! Mondo's gonna score tonight!_

A very large Carracosta stomped over. "You the guy who wanted to mate?"

"Uh, yeah," Mondo said uneasily.

"Meet me behind that tree over there in five minutes," she said before walking away.

Mondo briefly wondered if this might have been a bad idea. _Okay, she's…not the ideal candidate for a bedmate I had in mind…eh, on the other pseudopod, a lay's a lay. Oh yeah! Mondo's gonna score tonight!_

He also became a father and wound up finding himself betrothed according to tribal law, but that's a story for another day.

…

Meanwhile, in the Nihilator base…

Oblivion's Shadow stared dispassionately at Bellum, who lay convulsing silently on the floor, missing several large chunks of her body and face. Pools of white ectoplasm oozed across the floor from her form and dripped from the Shadow's gauntlets. "I warned you what would happen if you failed," he told the Froslass with her own face and voice, using his powers to overstimulate every nerve center in her body at once so that she would feel everything a thousand times more intense than usual, as well as overloading her pain center so that the only thing she _could_ feel was hurt, and a lot of it. "Your selfish desire and arrogance has cost us dearly. Your attempt to beat your childhood rival in an inane and pointless contest has put our entire organization and everything we're working towards in jeopardy. The only reason I haven't killed you yet is because you are still useful to me, and because I don't want Giratina rewarding you for your loyal service after all the screw-ups you've made around here lately. You don't deserve it."

"…Huh. I should be enjoying zis," Doctor Tarantulas said slowly as he watched his hated rival writhe on the floor helplessly. "And I am! Very much so! Gyahahahahaha!"

"Wait but…isn't it being the Shadow of fault's Oblivion? He's the one was _let_ the vampires take Bellum contest the to," Chobin asked, scratching his head.

"Chobin!" Tarantulas hissed in alarm.

"You're correct, I _did_ give her permission," Oblivion's Shadow said, turning towards Chobin so the Sunflora's face filled his mask. "But only because I believed that even if Bellum lost control of them, they would be unable to reveal any worthwhile knowledge to our enemies. They were only prisoners and test subjects, after all, and so had no way of knowing any vital information. However, these vampires claim to not only know the whereabouts of our main fortress, but the location of just about every major base we have on Earth, the identities of several of our covert agents and officials in our pocket, and the details of countless of our plans, the revelation of which will seriously hamper our efforts worldwide and make it that much more difficult to achieve our ultimate goal." He turned to Tarantulas, taking his face next. "Are you any closer to figuring out _how_ zey vere able to gain such knowledge, Doctor?"

"Er, well, no, not as such," Tarantulas admitted reluctantly.

"Neizer have I. Zis is an oversight zat must be corrected. As for Bellum, vhile it is indeed my fault for allowing her to remove such potentially dangerous individuals from our stronghold, if she had been more responsible and taken more precautions to prevent zis from happening, zey vould never have left her possession in ze first place. Additionally, if she had used her magic more effectively razzer zan vasting it all on some stupid plan to turn ze region into ze arctic, she might have actually succeeded in killing her targets. It is because of her sheer incompetence and repeated failures as of late, as vell as ze _degree_ to vich her failure imperils our operations, zat I have punished her so."

"Too are you punishing us like going to be that?" Chobin asked eagerly.

"I might, if you screw up as badly as Bellum did," Oblivion's Shadow said darkly, glaring at Chobin. "And why is he talking like that?"

"I zink somezing vent wrong ven I cloned zis one. His brains are more scrambled zan usual," Tarantulas said. Chobin demonstrated this by molesting Bellum, who was unable to lift a finger to stop him.

"Zat seems normal to me," Oblivion's Shadow said.

"No, normally Chobin vould have started violating her ze minute he saw her in such a helpless state, he usually doesn't take zis long," Tarantulas said.

"Ah," Oblivion's Shadow said, making Chobin's head explode. "You had better get ze next one right, zen, because if you fail me like she did, zere is a good chance he vill be ze last Chobin you ever have."

Tarantulas sighed. "Vunderbar. Guess I'd better get Chobin v. 81.0 ready, zen…"

"Tarantulas, it is absolutely vital zat you succeed in killing not just ze vampires, but everybody on board zat train," Oblivion's Shadow insisted. "Zey cannot be allowed to testify and reveal our secrets to ze vorld. Ve are at ze penultimate stage of our master plan. Ve cannot allow anyzing to interfere at zis crucial point. Kill zem all, and bring zeir souls back to me for interrogation. I vant to know _how_ zey found out so much about us…alzough I am beginning to have my suspicions. You may use as many of our resources as you vish, just make sure zat ze job gets done. Understood?"

"Jawohl, mein fuhrer!" Tarantulas saluted. "But…ah…you _are_ aware zat zey have an oracle, ja? Bellum said as much, and zat she helped zem formulate zeir plans ahead of time. Zere might not be anyzing I can do to kill zem if zey already know vhat ordinance I'm going to bring viz me…"

The Shadow considered this for a moment. "…Zat is true. In such a circumstance, your failure vould be…understandable."

"Vhich vould mean…?" Tarantulas asked hopefully.

Oblivion's Shadow sighed wearily. "Vich vould mean zat I might be inclined to…show some some measure of lenience. I did not demonstrate mercy towards Bellum, even zough part of ze reason she failed vas for ze same reason you might, because it's all her fault ve're in zis mess to begin viz. However, don't zink zis means you'll get avay wiz a slap on ze vrist if you fail. Zis is _very_ important, Tarantulas. Zey cannot be allowed to survive. Use everyzing, and I mean _everyzing_ at your disposal. After all, just because someone can see ze future doesn't mean zey can do anyzing to change it, especially if zat future has so much firepower behind it nozing can stop it from happening."

Tarantulas smiled gratefully. "I vill do my best, Herr Shadow! I'll use every veapon in my arsenal, if need be! Er…and speaking of vich…does zat mean I have permission to use…Pokémon XD001?"

Oblivion's Shadow hesitated for a moment. "…You are aware zat zat Pokémon has a bit of a…_history_ wiz ze leader of Team Aurabolt, ja? And zat he is an unvilling member of our army, unlike ze ozzer legendary birds, meaning zere is a chance he can be purified?"

"Zat's true," Tarantulas admitted. "But XD001 is one of ze most powerful Shadow Pokémon I've ever created. Of any of zem, he has ze best chance of defeating zose who zreaten to reveal our secrets. And aside from zat, I intend to bring ze ozzer zree birds wiz me to back him up and make it harder for zem to get a chance to purify him. I admit, it's risky, but…considering how desperate ve are, do ve really have a choice?"

"…No, I suppose not," the Shadow said reluctantly. "Very well. You may use XD001. However, do your damndest to make sure ve don't lose it."

"Don't vorry, Herr Shadow, if zings start looking really hopeless, I'll just drop a few nukes or blast zem from orbit," Tarantulas said.

"…Vhy don't you just do zat in ze first place?" Oblivion's Shadow asked.

"I'm not one hundred percent sure I can. By ze time I get zere, zere's going to be fairly close to Fichina…zey might be able to counterattack an action as severe as zat somehow. Zat's vhy I'm saving it for a last resort," Tarantulas said.

"Very vell. Good luck, Doctor," Oblivion's Shadow said.

"I'll need it, if zey vere really strong enough to defeat just about _everyzing_ Bellum zrew at zem," Tarantulas muttered. "Still, I should have a few zings ready zat not even zeir magic can vizstand…er, by ze vay, Herr Shadow, vould you like to come along? You know, to make sure nozing goes vrong?"

"I would like to, Doctor," the Shadow admitted. "But unfortunately, some of my most important and time-sensitive experiments have approached a crucial juncture, and I require all my concentration to make sure zey succeed. Whezzer you succeed or not, zeir results may be imperative to our ultimate victory."

"Yeah, I know vat zat's like," Tarantulas said sympathetically. "Well, good luck to you wiz zat. I vish you'd clue me in as to vhat sort of zings you're doing up in your lab all day, I'd be happy to help."

"Doctor, trust me vhen I say zat ze zings I'm working on are far, _far_ beyond your comprehension," the Shadow said. "You vould only get in ze vay."

Tarantulas scowled. "So it's like zat, is it?...Fine, vhatever. I'll just get cracking on taking out zat train vhile you do vhatever it is you do up zere. Say, it vouldn't happen to involve a certain _vampire_, vould-"

"Finish zat sentence, Doctor, and I'll remove anozzer one of your legs," the Shadow said.

"Right! I'll just be going zen," Tarantulas said anxiously, snaring Chobin's corpse with his webbing and pulling it onto his back. He started to leave, but in the threshold he paused and looked back at his master. "Um, by ze vay, vhat do ve do about ze…_ozzer_ problem Bellum brought to our attention?"

"Leave zat to me," the Shadow said ominously. "I shall handle it personally."

Tarantulas nodded, relieved. "Right, zat makes me feel a lot better. Auf Wiedersehen!"

He left. Oblivion's Shadow dismissively gestured at Bellum's tortured form and Teleported her away, leaving him alone in his command center…

Or was he?

"You'll handle me, huh?" Darkrai asked in amusement as he rose out of Oblivion's Shadow's…shadow. The Shadow whirled around, grabbed Darkrai by the neck, and slammed him into the wall so hard that a significant portion of the Pitch-Black Pokémon splattered on impact, coating the wall in shadow. "Huh, looks like somebody's in a bad mood," Darkrai said, not seeming the least bit perturbed by the Nihilator leader's fury as the shadows flowed back into his body. "What's wrong? Having trouble sleeping lately?"

"Darkrai," the Shadow growled, his mask struggling to mimic the dark god's face and voice and failing, causing it to flicker and crackle. "You broke our agreement."

"Did I?" Darkrai asked, feigning surprise.

"You signed a contract stating that you would do nothing to hinder our operations, and in return, your wife would be unharmed," the Shadow said slowly and deliberately.

Darkrai nodded. "Yep, I remember that part, mainly because I had no choice in the matter and was really, _really _angry."

"You broke the contract!" the Shadow snapped, struggling to retain his composure.

"Huh? I have no idea what you're talking about," Darkrai said.

"No idea? No idea? One of the members of Team Aurabolt is _your High Priestess!_" the Shadow snarled.

"Ohhhh yeahhhh, that's right, she is, isn't she?" Darkrai recalled. "Sasha, right? Lovely girl. I'd almost forgotten."

"Forgotten? You put her on the team!" the Shadow said. "Which breaks the terms of our contract, since you are not allowed to oppose us directly or indirectly, and I'm pretty sure that having _your High Priestess_ serve on the Rescue Team that's trying to defeat us counts as indirect opposition!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, back up there. You've got it all wrong," Darkrai said.

The Shadow's eyes narrowed under his mask. "Do I now?"

"Yeah. Sasha's not on Team Aurabolt as my servant, she's there as a reserve member of the team, since, last time I checked, she joined up with them a while back when you hurled that meteor at the planet which somehow made a lot of people's minds go screwy. The fact that she works for me occasionally on the side is a complete and utter coincidence," Darkrai said innocently. "She's there to help her friends in her capacity as a reserve member, not as some kind of covert operative for myself, which you seem to mistakenly think that she is."

"A _coincidence?_ You expect me to believe that you had nothing to do with her joining the team back then as well as now? That she left Kanjohenn and went all the way to Sinnorre, somehow managing to find them without possibly having any way of knowing where they were, without you _telling_ her to go?" Oblivion's Shadow snapped, starting to lose his temper.

"Well, sure. She's an Absol, isn't she?" Darkrai pointed out. "They get premonitions and omens of big looming disasters all the time. How do you know she didn't get a vision or something telling her you guys were about to destroy the planet and that she needed to team up with Ash and his crew to save the world?"

"Because you and I both know that's not what happened," the Shadow hissed.

"Maybe not, but can you prove it? No? I didn't think so," Darkrai said smugly. "Sasha's my girl, yes, but she's not on the team as my representative against you, she's just there to help her friends. Or at least, she isn't my representative in any way you can conclusively prove."

"Then care to explain _why she was wearing her robes of office and using their powers against us in Dusty Ditch?_" the Shadow shouted, unable to retain his usual even temper when faced with someone as unflappably infuriating as Darkrai.

"She wasn't using them against you," Darkrai said.

"…What?" the Shadow said.

"She was using them against the forces of _Niflheim,_ which, last time I checked, work for _Shivhel_, who is in no way shape or form affiliated with you," Darkrai pointed out. "Therefore, she was using her powers as my priestess to fight against an enemy completely unrelated to you guys, and therefore outside the terms of our contract."

"Unrelated? They were summoned by Bellum, who is very much one of 'my guys!' They were used as part of an attempt to destroy them!" the Shadow protested.

"No, they were used by Bellum as part of an attempt to turn a good portion of Sinnorre into her frozen paradise," Darkrai corrected. "Which, last time I checked, wasn't something you were trying to accomplish. As a result, the fact that she used the summoned forces of Niflheim to try and kill her longtime rival and several other people who had embarrassed, humiliated, or otherwise pissed her off somehow could be seen more as an act of personal vengeance rather than something you ordered her to do."

"But I _did_ order her to do it!" the Shadow insisted.

Darkrai raised an eyebrow. "You _specifically_ told her to cast Fimbulvinter?"

The Shadow hesitated. "…Well, no, but-"

"Then she cast it of her own volition, to fulfill a long-held dream of her own, that had nothing to do with you or the other Nihilators," Darkrai said. "The fact that she'd be carrying out your orders and killing your enemies in the process was just a coincidence."

"A _coincidence?"_ the Shadow demanded incredulously.

"Sure. What do you think she was thinking about when she was doing this, how much she needed to do this to protect the Nihilator organization, or how much she needed to save face and kill her oldest enemy once and for all?" Darkrai pointed out. The Shadow did not respond. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

"But Bellum was not the only Nihilator there," Oblivion's Shadow pointed out. "There was Marianne, Paul, Articuno-"

"Marianne had a previous grudge against one of the train's passengers, just like her mom," Darkrai pointed out. "Paul had unfinished business with Dawn and Palmer, and Articuno with Ash. Therefore, in that instance they were carrying out personal vendettas rather than serving as your subordinates, so _technically_ nobody was there representing the Nihilators, so I had no part in opposing them. And if that's not good enough for you—since, after all, none of them even knew Dawn or Ash or the others were there initially-I'll remind you that Sasha never once actually engaged in combat with any of your agents there, _only_ with the monsters from Niflheim, therefore she never used any of her _or_ my powers directly or indirectly against anyone who can legitimately be considered a Nihilator, other than her danger-sense, which is something that all Absols have and is completely unrelated to me. Ergo, I have done nothing to breach our contract."

"…But…but Brodie…on the train…he failed to carry out his assassination mission, and she was wearing the robes then, so wasn't she-" the Shadow said, grasping at straws.

"Again, that was her danger sense, which as I've already said has nothing to do with me," Darkrai reminded Oblivion's Shadow. "And while just about everyone else ganged up on the twerp, I _explicitly_ told her to hang back just in case, so there could be no evidence that someone working for me did anything to violate our contract. Therefore, I am _one hundred percent in the clear._ What do you say to that, asshole?"

Oblivion's Shadow drove his fist into Darkrai's chest and released a tremendous blast of Shadow Aura with a scream of fury that caused the dark god to explode, splattering the walls and floor and ceiling and even the Shadow's armor in black stains. As the Shadow shook with rage, Shadow Aura burning around him, the stains quivered, liquefied, and flowed back together, coalescing to reform Darkrai. "Ugh…hate it when that happens," he grunted, cracking his neck. "Nice try, but after Ash beat me that way on the big day a thousand years ago, I took precautions to make sure it wouldn't work on me again. I'm the god of death, after all. I wouldn't allow myself to get killed the same way twice."

"How were you able to do it?" the Shadow whispered, his anger so great that the computers and monitors behind him started shaking and bursting into flames.

"Do what?" Darkrai asked.

"Find a loophole. I thought our contract was ironclad! Bellum and even Giratina assured me it was!" the Shadow snarled.

Darkrai snorted. "Come on, mon, you think you're the only guy with smart-ass mages and lawyers? I'm the fucking _god of darkness._ If there's a sneaky or underhanded way to get out of something, I'll find it, guaranteed. And I'll _keep_ doing it, too."

The Shadow stiffened, his Aura fading. "…Sasha's not your only pawn against us, is she? The vampires. You had something to do with their outbreak, with them learning so much about our secrets, didn't you?"

"Mmmayyyybe. Maybe not. You'll never know for sure, now, will you?" Darkrai asked.

Oblivion's Shadow clenched his fists. "I will have the contract torn up and rewritten, so that you can't play these sorts of games anymore."

"Oh, I _really_ wouldn't do that if I were you," Darkrai said.

"And why is that?" the Shadow asked.

"For one thing, even if you wrote up a new one, what's to guarantee I'd sign it, or that I wouldn't find another way out of it?" Darkrai pointed out.

"You'd have no choice but to sign it. I have your wife. I can kill her and keep you from ever reclaiming her soul," Oblivion's Shadow pointed out.

Darkrai burst into laughter. "Oh, so very, _very_ wrong! The contract works both ways, my friend. You can't do that so long as it's in effect, or _you're_ the one who's breaking the rules. And if you tore up the contract and started over, you'd also destroy the _only_ thing that's keeping me from coming down on you guys like a sack of bricks and wiping you off the face of the universe, since I can't do anything to oppose you so long as it's in effect, remember? But if it were to somehow become invalid..."

"Even without the contract, you could do nothing," the Shadow argued. "I defeated you once before, remember? Very soundly, as I recall."

"The last time, I had no idea what I was getting into," Darkrai said. "I underestimated you, and badly paid the price for my hubris. _This_ time, though, I'd know exactly what I'm up against, and I'd bring _everything I had._ All my reapers and shinigami, all my Ghosts and undead, all my nightmares and creatures of the dark and horrible _things_ that have no name. Yeah, you guys would put up a good fight—you especially, I'm sure—but in the end, I'd win. Death _always_ wins, sooner or later."

"…You wouldn't," Oblivion's Shadow protested, but weakly, suddenly realizing he was not as in control of the situation as he had thought he was. "You'd…you'd kill countless innocent lives if you did that. You would destroy my prisoners as well as my minions."

"So what if I did? They'd die anyway, wouldn't they? Doesn't everyone eventually?" Darkrai pointed out. "And besides, the end I'd grant them would be a mercy after all the things you've done to them, and I'd make sure they get the peaceful afterlife they deserve. And sure, you could kill Cresselia and hold her soul hostage, try to use it as a bargaining chip…but you know what? She can take it. She'd want me to keep going no matter what, and not let myself be countered or controlled on account of her. All you'd be doing is making your inevitable demise that much more pleasurable for me and excruciating for you. I _know_ who you are. I _know _the demons you have locked in your skull, and trust me when I say that I can make them real and even more horrifying than you've ever imagined." He grinned, his smile so terrifying that the Shadow's heart actually skipped a beat. "So go ahead. Tear up the contract. _I dare you._"

"…" The Shadow's shoulders slumped, realizing, much to his dismay, he had been outsmarted. He didn't like it, not one bit. "This won't work again, you realize," he said after a moment. "That legalese you used to justify Sasha using your gift in battle won't work tomorrow against Tarantulas, or in any future conflicts."

Darkrai nodded. "Yeah, I know. I've already told her to put the robes away until further notice. So next time she fights you guys, it'll be as a member of Team Aurabolt, not as my High Priestess."

"Except she'll still _be _your High Priestess," the Shadow pointed out.

"Yeah, but it won't be Sasha the High Priestess who's fighting you, its Sasha the Rescue Team member. They're two completely different roles," Darkrai said. Oblivion's Shadow gnashed his teeth under his mask but said nothing. "Now, unless you have any other accusations you want to lob at me, I'll just be on my way-"

"Wait," the Shadow said.

Darkrai glanced at him. "Yes?"

"You…you said you know who I am," the Shadow said. "How did you figure it out?"

Darkrai chuckled. "Oh, it was obvious really, in retrospect. The only thing I haven't quite figure out yet is _why_…but I'm sure it'll become obvious as well eventually." The Shadow growled, causing Darkrai to chuckle again. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm just going to go back to the Moon to continue plotting your downfall. I'd watch your shadow, if I were you. When the end comes, it's going to be from where you least expect." He began to sink into the Shadow's shadow. "I'll be seeing you…in your nightmares." With those haunting words, he vanished into the darkness.

Oblivion's Shadow stared at his shadow for a long moment, stunned. He found himself feeling dizzy, as if his entire world had abruptly been tilted on its axis, everything he had thought he had known turning out to be false. It wasn't the first time something like that had happened to him…

And to make things worse, his other detractor arrived to pester him. "I warned you," his mother said sadly. "I told you you weren't as on top of things as you thought you were."

The Shadow squeezed his eyes shut. "Go away, Mother."

"The harder you squeeze, the more everything slips out of your fingers," his mother said. "All you're doing is making things worse for yourself. Can't you see that?"

"It's the only way, Mother," he said, his voice hoarse.

"It doesn't have to be," she said quietly. "It's still not too late to stop this. To turn everything around."

"Why do you continue to torment me?" he moaned. "Why won't you leave me alone?"

"Everyone needs a conscience," his mother said. "And who better for the job than me? After all, I'm your mother. I love you. I'm probably the only one left who _still_ loves you. Well…maybe not the _only_ one…"

"Why? Why do you love me?" he shouted, whirling around and finding…

Nothing. There was nobody there. There never was.

And yet, as he shook in confusion and frustration and exhaustion, he thought he heard a voice whisper, _Because somebody has to._

And then he was alone again. Just as he always was: completely and utterly alone.

…

And…done!

Wow, that took a while, and the site going screwy for a while doesn't help matters.

In any event, we're roughly half to two-thirds of the way through this arc, and trust me when I say that if you thought THIS was cool, just wait until the next part!

When that part'll be, I can't say. Hopefully it'll be sooner than it took to write this one, and hopefully it'll be shorter. I can't guarantee either, though, but rest assured that one way or another, you WILL see chapter 54 eventually, and I hope you'll like it. I hope you liked this one too, as a matter of fact.

See you then!


	54. Along came a spider

All right, here's the edited and updated version of chapter 54, what you guys should have received earlier this week if I hadn't been so crunched for time. Now that it's out of the way, I can begin chapter 55, which I hope you will all enjoy.

Happy third anniversary! Here's to many more! (But not too many, I hope.)

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me. Thanks must go to EmperorDaein for the inspiration for a couple of the new villains in this chapter. You'll know them when you see them.

…

The Enchanted Express chugged along happily across the desert, the light of the Moon shining down on it from on high as it left the ruins of Dusty Ditch far behind it and continued on its way to Fichina and the safe refuge that awaited its passengers there. Many hours and hundreds of miles stretched out between the train and its final destination, but it didn't care about the distance, so long as it kept on running, nothing really mattered to it. (Yes, the train was at least partially alive. What? It's a magical machine, is that really so hard to believe?)

Most of its occupants were in a very deep sleep, trying to recover from the sheer exhaustion generated by the strenuous battle they had fought in the day before, and the impromptu cleanup and funeral they had held in the valley of the desolated town before leaving. They needed all the sleep they could get, since according to the oracle Cherry, an even _bigger_ battle awaited them in the day to come. They had already planned and plotted and started making their preparations, but for now they needed their rest, so that when the fight began they would be ready.

Not all of the Pokémon on board the train were asleep, however. There were always one or two engineers on duty in the engine room to keep the train running and make sure they stayed on course, and some of the security guards and strongest fighters patrolled the hallways in shifts. The train's magical sensors were on full alert for any possible intrusion, and Cherry had said they weren't going to get attacked during the night, but after everything they had just faced they were too paranoid to simply leave the train unguarded, even for a few hours.

As it turned out, their worries were completely justified. Unfortunately, there wasn't much they could do about it. Not until it was too late, anyway.

From atop a butte overlooking the tracks, a dark, many-legged figure watched as the train approached, a stream of multicolored smoke trailing behind it, all sorts of magical lights and glyphs and sigils on its surface glowing in the darkness. "Be ready, my children," it hissed to the smaller figures clustered around it. "The time to strike is at hand." They waited, many eyes wide with anticipation as the train passed underneath them, slowing gradually to make it around the bend without derailing. "Now!" the figure chittered as it leaped off the butte, plummeting towards the train. The smaller creatures took the plunge alongside it, parachutes made of silky crackling strands billowing out behind them and slowing their descent.

Normally, the approach of so many foreign Pokémon drifting towards the train would have triggered its proximity sensors and sent an alarm blaring down its length, alerting its crew that hostiles were inbound. Unfortunately, these Pokémon were _far_ from normal, and so the alarms remained silent as the parachuters quietly landed on top of the train, the Enchanted Express's detection spells and defenses washing off the specially-made fabric covering every inch of the intruders' bodies, unable to register their presence.

That didn't stop them from setting off the pressure alarms when their weight made contact with the roof of the train, however. They landed as lightly as they could, but that didn't stop a light from going off in the engine room as a telepathic message was transmitted to all the security forces alerting them that something had just hit the roof. The Haunter and Grumpig, who were in the car closest to the disturbance, were dispatched to check it out.

"It's probably just another false alarm," the Grumpig complained as they hurried down the corridors to the car they were supposed to investigate. "We've gotten lots of those ever since we put the sensors on high alert and left Dusty Ditch."

"It might be, but that doesn't mean we should discount it," the Haunter pointed out. "Procedure exists for a reason. Refusing to obey it can have disastrous consequences. Just look at what happened to poor Moju…"

"But Miss Cherry said nothing's supposed to happen tonight!" the Grumpig protested.

"That's true, but we can't be too careful," the Haunter pointed out. "Considering everything we've seen so far, I wouldn't put it past the Nihilators to have some way to get around her prophetic powers. There ARE ways of doing that, after all."

"…Eh, I guess so," the Grumpig admitted reluctantly.

They stopped in the middle of the hallway and looked straight up. "Okay, apparently whatever landed on the roof is right above us," the Haunter said. "Like you said, it's probably a false alarm, but it never hurts to be cautious."

"All right. You going up or am I?" the Grumpig asked. "Or should we both go?"

"I'll go. You stay here and wait for me. If you don't hear back from me in two minutes, sound the alarm," the Haunter said. The Grumpig nodded nervously and watched as his partner floated up to the ceiling and phased through the roof. Normally such a feat would be impossible in a vehicle as heavily warded as the Enchanted Express, but as an employee the system was keyed to let him pass through when necessary.

The Haunter peered around the top of the car as he passed through the roof, the wind whipping in his face and the Moon shining brightly down on him. He didn't see anything, but just because he didn't see anything didn't mean there was nothing there. His eyes glowed red as he used Foresight, panning beams of crimson light across the length and breadth of the roof. Nothing invisible revealed itself. He floated around the sides of the car and scanned them to make sure nothing was clinging to them, and looked under the car as well to see if there were any stowaways hanging to the underside. When he saw nothing, he checked out the rest of the cars, just to make certain that whatever had fallen onto the roof hadn't jumped to another car, although the pressure sensors hadn't detected anything else. Again, he found nothing. He cast every detection spell he knew just to make sure, however, and when none of them picked anything up, he conceded and returned to his partner. "You were right, it was a false alarm," he said to the Grumpig.

"Told you," the Grumpig said, hiding his relief. "Probably some pebbles or dust falling from the top of that butte we just passed. We've really turned the sensors up to much if they keep getting set off by detritus like that."

"Yeah, but we don't want those guys sneaking up on us," the Haunter pointed out.

"If they were small enough to leave such a tiny impact, how bad could they be?" the Grumpig asked skeptically.

"They could have miniaturized themselves using Minimize so they could crawl through a ventilation duct or something and kill everyone in their sleep," the Haunter said.

"Ooh. I hadn't thought of that," the Grumpig said, eyes widening in alarm. "Could they really do that?"

"No, we've got the ducts sealed and screened too tightly to let any living or unliving matter pass through. No poison gas, either. Still, I hear that some assassin was able to kill a bigshot target using a method like that, and I wouldn't put it past the Nihilators to try the same trick, or improvise it," the Haunter said.

The Grumpig sighed and shook his head. "There's so many ways to kill a person…why can't people just use magic or Pokémon abilities to get along?"

"Because if they did, we'd be out of a job," the Haunter pointed out. He checked his watch. "I think our shift's about up. Time to switch off with our relief."

"Good," the relieved Grumpig said as they headed back to their quarters. "I'm dead tired. I could use a good rest."

"We'll need it, considering what's coming next…" the Haunter said. As they left the compartment, the Haunter did not notice the small invisible creatures that had been clinging to the back of his head hop off and scuttle up the walls of the car. Neither did the train's sensors. It _did_ pick up a brief fluctuation in its anti-phase shielding which lasted for no less than a second, but when the Haunter and Grumpig rushed back to check on it and found nothing wrong, they were forced to conclude it was another false alarm and went off to their well-earned sleep.

They were wrong, of course, but how were _they_ supposed to know that a Nihilator assassin wearing an experimental stealth suit with phase-through capabilities and an extremely expensive and difficult-to-replicate anti-magic memory-nullifying cloaking device had just snuck on board with two dozen similarly suited assistants? It certainly wasn't anything Cherry had warned them about, nor could she, since each suit was equipped with an even _more_ expensive and difficult-to-replicate tachyon array, and as everyone knows, tachyons make it difficult if not impossible to predict the future. (What, you didn't know that? Well, it's true. Read Watchmen if you don't believe me. Yes, it's got a giant naked blue man in it, but its Alan Moore, what do you expect?) As a result, this was something that nobody, not even the resident oracle, could have seen coming.

Nor would they, until it was too late. Snickering inwardly, the assassin dispatched her henchmons throughout the train while she began hunting her prey. Doors opened and closed throughout the train as they went from car to car, their special camouflage protecting them from being detected. Many times, the Enchanted Express noticed that a door was opening despite nobody being there to go through it, but every time it was about to report it, it forgot about it completely, thanks to the memory-erasing properties of the stealth suits, which made it almost impossible for them to be picked up by the train's internal sensors, or rather, they _did_ get picked up, but then the sensors forgot it had ever happened, allowing them to continue on their way undetected. There were limits to the efficacy of this, of course, since the suits were still experimental and it required a _lot_ of power to keep an effect like that going for very long, hence why only a small team had been equipped with it rather than an entire army due to scarcity of resources and power consumption, but so long as they remained careful, nobody would notice they were there. As such, they were able to go about their business virtually unnoticed, allowing them to get into position to enact Doctor Tarantulas' master plan…a plan that, if all went the way he hoped, would spell the end for everyone on board the train.

…

Meanwhile, in one of the compartments…

"…And that's everything," Ash said, finishing the story of…well, pretty much everything that was going on, including just about every significant detail of his life and his past and his connection to Oblivion's Shadow and the darkness festering within him that threatened to destroy everything he held dear.

"…Wow," Ritchie said finally, a stunned look on his face. "That's…that's pretty incredible, Ash. If I didn't know better, I'd say you'd just made all that stuff up to freak me out, because a story like _that_ is almost too astounding and dark and…well, horrifying to be true."

"I wish it weren't true," Ash confessed unhappily. "It's certainly not the sort of thing you want to be in the middle of."

"I can't imagine having something like all that on my shoulders," Ritchie said, shaking his head in amazement. "All the pressure, the worrying, the fear of what I might become…it'd drive a guy mad. I'm amazed you're still sane!"

"So am I, actually," Ash admitted. "But I don't know how much longer that will last. Every new memory, every glimpse the Star Badges give me into the past, hint that something even MORE horrible than what I've already remembered happened to me…and I'm terrified that once I remember that something, I'll snap, just like I did before, and if that happens…I'm not sure if anyone will be able to bring me back."

"What about Tiny?" Ritchie asked, glancing at the Pupitar, sleeping peacefully next to Ash on the bed beside him.

Ash absent-mindedly stroked his son's carapace, causing a wave of happiness and contentment to pulse through him that made him smile in spite of himself. "I don't know. He's connected to my heart, but…when I get closer to Shadow, it becomes harder for me to hear him. I become so angry and focused on my opponent that I forget he's there…or anyone else, either. Which is a pretty awful way to treat my kid and my friends, the people who care most about me…the people who are supposed to keep me anchored and make sure I _don't_ lose it…" He sighed. "And look how well that's going…"

"It seems to be going pretty well, from what I've seen so far," Ritchie said. "You haven't gone full-on Void yet, after all."

"That's true," Ash admitted. "And hopefully, it'll stay that way. But…when we get to Fichina…I'm afraid of what new memory I'll unlock, that it'll bring my heart that much closer to closing up completely."

"With that kind of talk, it's only a matter of time before you do it to yourself," Ritchie complained. "You need to stop being so negative."

"It's hard not to be, with all this looming over me," Ash said resentfully. "I'm doing the best I can, and I have everyone else supporting me, but…I can't help wondering how much more I can take before I lose it completely…"

"Why haven't you tried purifying yourself yet? Becoming a Shining Pokémon or whatever?" Ritchie asked.

"I'm not ready," Ash said. "I've pored over my book and talked at length with Aaron about it, but at the moment my heart's too unbalanced. I'm too anxious and worried. I need to get better control over my emotions first. If I make the dive into my heart, I'm going to be facing the darkest version of myself, fed by all my worst feelings and nightmares. If I face it while those negative emotions still have such a strong grip in me, it'll consume me…"

"And then you'd become a Void," Ritchie concluded. He sighed. "This sucks big time…I'm sorry, Ash. I wish there were something I could do. If only I had more training in the more advanced Aura techniques…"

"Even if you did, I'm not sure there's anything you could do," Ash said. "It's my darkness, so in the end, it's something only I can face. My friends will be supporting me and putting their hopes in me, but ultimately…I have to fight it alone. It's…not a prospect I look forward to."

"Neither do I," Ritchie said. "And I'm not even going to be involved! You can't have another Aura Guardian project your friends into your heart like you were able to do for Dawn and Tiny?"

"If I were just a regular Pokémon, yes…but since I'm an Aura Guardian, if they tried that, there's a good chance my Shadow Aura would destroy them," Ash said. "It's another reason I'm not sure Tiny's connection to me will help…if I go Void, then…"

"So will he?" Ritchie gasped. He looked at the sleeping Pupitar in concern, not liking the thought of the armored Pokémon turning evil. He reminded him too much of his own son…it was weird how they looked and acted so much alike... "…Does he know?"

"No. I haven't told him, and he hasn't considered it," Ash said. "It's not something I _want_ him to think about. He worries about me enough as it is. In any event, I'm not positive that's what'll happen if I lose the battle with my darkness. That's the most likely worst case scenario if I fail, though."

"What's the best?" Ritchie asked.

"He dies," Ash said bluntly.

Ritchie grimaced. "Oy…it just gets better and better, doesn't it?"

"Story of my life," Ash said morosely. They said nothing for a while. Ash looked out the window and stroked Tiny, while Ritchie couldn't help glancing at Cruise, who was snoozing against his side, and worrying about what would happen to his son if _he_ were at risk of going dark. He shook his head, once more astonished by the sorts of things his new friend had gone through…like a reflection of his own adventures, only much darker. (Or was it the other way around?)

And speaking of adventures… "Hey Ash, you said we were friends before, back when…back when you were human, right?" Ritchie asked, getting an idea for how to change the subject.

Ash glanced at him. "Huh? Yeah, we were."

"What was I like?" Ritchie asked.

"Pretty much the same as you are now, personality-wise," Ash said. "Unlike me, who's…well, been forced to make a few changes here and there. We were a lot alike back then. More than a few people suggested, not always jokingly, that we might actually be brothers…"

"Were we?" Ritchie asked.

"No, though that didn't stop people from spreading rumors about my mom," Ash said sourly. Ritchie had to stifle a laugh. "You had pretty much the same Pokémon that you do now. I think your teammates are the reincarnations of the Pokémon you trained back when you were a human."

"Me, a human…it's so weird. I can't even picture it," Ritchie murmured. "And is everyone on your team reincarnations of your Pokémon from back then, too?"

"Oddly enough, no, just a couple of them: Pikachu, Leo, and Tiny," Ash said. "Everyone else is either new, or…I think a reincarnation of a person I knew back then, either pretty well or just fleetingly. As I've gotten more of my memories back from spending time around them or the Star Badges, it's weird comparing who they are now with who they were then…most of them are completely different! Pikachu was more easygoing, Leo wasn't such a nerd, Briney wasn't such a badass, Lily and Dawn weren't so…tormented, and Tiny…well, Tiny's pretty much exactly the same." He smiled adoringly at his son, who nuzzled him in his sleep, which would have been cuter if he weren't a big spiky chrysalis digging his spines into Ash's side. The Lucario ground his teeth and bore it.

"Well, that's a point for nurture over nature, then," Ritchie said. He frowned. "And I really haven't changed at all?"

"Well…maybe a little," Ash admitted. "To be honest, I didn't know you as well as I would have liked. If we'd gotten to spend more time together, I think we'd have gotten a deeper connection than the one we had."

Ritchie frowned. "So I wasn't a close friend or anything?"

Ash shook his head. "I only met you on a couple of occasions, to be honest. We fought in a couple of Pokémon Leagues, and had an adventure where we rescued some Lugia from a group called Team Rocket. That's about it, more's the pity."

"We rescued some Lugia? Cool!" Ritchie said. "I'd love to hear more about that."

"I'd be happy to tell you," Ash said.

"Was it anything like what we're going to do tomorrow? Well…I guess it's more like today, now," Ritchie asked.

"Well, one of the Lugias became the mind-controlled pawn of a mad scientist working for a gang bent on world domination then, too, but I somehow doubt this battle will be quite the same as that one…especially if all of Cherry's predictions stay true."

"I know that you're the only one who can purify Lugia due to your past with him, but I promise I'll do my best to support you any other way I can," Ritchie said.

"Including killing the legendary birds?" Ash asked.

"…I guess," Ritchie said reluctantly. "There's really no way around it, is there?"

"No," Ash said, narrowing his eyes. "There isn't."

"Then…I'll help with that, too," Ritchie said. "If they need to be put down that badly, then…then that's what I'll do." He sighed. "Mon, and I thought Judgment was bad news…from what I've seen and you've told me so far, though, they're not even in the Nihilators' league. I'm sorry you have to fight guys like that."

"You're going to be fighting them too," Ash pointed out.

"Yeah, but after we get to Fichina, we're going to have to go our separate ways," Ritchie reminded Ash. "You to continue the fight against the Nihilators, and me to resume my search for the Plates of Arceus…and to save Melody."

"…Yeah, that's true," Ash admitted.

"I would stay and help you if I could, you know that," Ritchie said. "But the Nihilators aren't the only threat to the world, even if they may be a bigger one at the moment."

"And you have to rescue the womon you love. I understand that," Ash said. He sighed. "At least you know exactly where she is, and how to save her, more or less. Well, okay, not _exactly_, since you don't know where Judgment's hideout is-"

"Yet," Ritchie interjected.

"Yet," Ash agreed. "But you will soon, and then you can go and save her. Misty? I have no idea where she is, or how to get to her. All I know is she's up there…somewhere," he said, waving vaguely at the night sky. "And that she's on her way back from apparently the other side of the Omniverse. I don't think we've EVER been this far apart." He sighed. "My friends are right. I shouldn't have kept denying what was between us and admitted my feelings for her long ago, like you and Melody did. If I had, maybe things would be different."

"Do you really think so?" Ritchie asked.

"I'd like to believe it," Ash said. "Our requited love might have been able to balance the darkness inside of me." The image of himself wreathed in darkness staring at her without any hint of recognition flashed through his mind, followed by the memory of him sobbing while cradling her blood-spattered form. He quickly suppressed that line of thought, knowing it wasn't helping.

"Maybe," Ritchie said, seeming to sense some hint of Ash's inner conflict. Then again, he was a Lucario just like Ash; they were good at reading emotions. "Hey, was Melody a human back then?"

Ash blinked at the change of subject. "Huh? Oh yeah, she helped me in that adventure where I became Lugia's Chosen One. I guess I forgot to mention that."

"Weird…" Ritchie muttered. "Is there anyone you know who _isn't_ a reincarnation of someone from your past?"

"Quite a lot, actually. I mean, there were millions of people in the world back then, and there's millions of Pokémon now. There's no way I could have met all of them in either life," Ash said.

"Good point," Ritchie admitted. "Still, if that's the case, it's kind weird how many people you've met now that ARE people you used to know. I mean, it's a big world. They could have been reincarnated anywhere, couldn't they? And yet you keep running into them."

"It's one of the things I try not to think much about, otherwise I'd wind up like Pikachu," Ash said. "Let's just say its destiny and leave it at that. It's good enough for Leo."

"And Zippo," Ritchie agreed, smirking. "Arceus, those two are too much alike…"

"Yeah, it's amazing Pikachu hasn't exploded and/or killed them yet," Ash said.

"Sparky too," Ritchie said. They both laughed, the grimness of before dissipating…

And then there was a knock on the door. They paused and looked at each other in surprise. "Who could that be?" Ritchie asked. "At this hour, I thought the only ones out of their room would be the guards, and why would they be bothering us?"

"You and Cruise are out of your room," Ash pointed out.

"Yes, because you invited us," Ritchie said.

"Well, maybe one of our friends wanted to join us," Ash said. He closed his eyes to see whose Aura was outside…

And frowned. "That's…odd…"

"What is?" Ritchie asked.

"I don't sense any Aura outside. None at all," Ash said.

"What?" Ritchie closed his eyes to check for himself. His brow furrowed when he got the same results as Ash. "I…don't sense anything either. But…we both heard that knock. SOMEONE had to do that, and I'm almost positive there's nobody on this train who can hide from our Aura-sight. The ambient magic interferes a little, but it shouldn't keep us from seeing someone right outside…"

"Then who just knocked on the door?" Ash asked slowly. They stared at each other for a moment, and then rose off the bed, Ash automatically grabbing his staff. They cautiously made their way to the door and peered through the little window to see who was outside.

There was nobody there. "Okay, either we're hearing things, or something weird is going on…" Ash said.

"Maybe it's one of the Teleporters playing a prank?" Ritchie suggested.

"It could be," Ash said, not believing it. Neither did Ritchie.

"Should…should we go outside and look?" Ritchie asked uncertainly.

"No. If something…unfriendly has gotten onto the train, that's probably exactly what it wants," Ash said. "We're safer in here. The door can't be opened unless we open it ourselves, so it can't get in."

Ritchie frowned in alarm. "What, so you want us to just sit tight and let some invisible…_thing_ we can't see prowl the train?"

"Would you rather go out there and fight an invisible thing we can't see?" Ash retorted.

"…Hmm. Point," Ritchie said reluctantly.

"We'll call the security team and see if they can't figure out what's going on. They know stuff about magic, maybe they'll be able to find it," Ash said.

"If they could, then wouldn't they have stopped it from getting onboard in the first place?" Ritchie said.

"…Well…maybe they'll know what to look for now," Ash said after a moment. "I know it's not a very good plan, but I don't think charging out there will help matters."

That's when they heard a knock on the door…except it wasn't their door, but the door for the room just a little way down the hall from them, where some of Ritchie's teammates were staying. "Huh? Whuzzat? Ugh, who could that be at this hour?" Captain Salty's muffled voice groaned from the other room. The knock grew louder and more insistent. "All right, all right, jus' a second…Zippo, go answer that, would you?"

"What? Why do I gotta do it?" the Charmeleon complained.

"Because you're closest to the door," Salty said.

"Oh, fine…lousy stupid Tentacool, making me get outta bed, and when I was having a good time spooning Rose, too…" Zippo grumbled.

Ash and Ritchie's eyes widened in horror. "ZIPPO! DON'T OPEN THE DOOR!" they both shouted.

"Huh? Ritchie, that you? You want me to open the door? Okay," Zippo, mishearing them due to the fact that they were yelling through several walls and he was really tired said as he reached for the door.

Ritchie glanced at Ash, who sighed in resignation. "…Arceusdammit! Fine, we're going out there!"

They opened the door and rushed out. There was a flash of light and a crackle of electricity, and then all was silent. Zippo opened the door and glanced outside. "Hello? Anybody there?" He looked up and down the hallway, but saw no one. "Grr…lousy stupid Teleporting pranksters…ruining my sleep and making me get out of bed…rassinfrassing grumblemumble stupidheads…I oughta invent something to put them in their place…yeah…that's a good idea…make them Teleport into a puddle of mud…serves 'em right, the way they so flagrantly tear the fabric of space and time to get wherever they want, while the rest of us gotta walk…" Muttering darkly under his breath, he shut the door and went back to bed.

Once it was certain nobody else was going to come into the hallway, the assassin moved off of Ash and Ritchie, whom it had spiderwebbed to the ceiling then covered with its own camouflaged body so that nobody would see them. It chuckled inwardly, and then paused when it heard Tiny and Cruise, apparently picking up on their parents' distress, start to stir. Too bad the door to their room had been left wide open, so there was nothing to protect them from the same monster that had gotten their fathers…laughing to itself, the assassin dropped from the ceiling and scurried through the open door, ready to add two more prey to its collection.

…

The Enchanted Express got the strangest feeling that something was wrong inside of it.

Then it forgot about it.

It saw Ash and Ritchie, then Tiny and Cruise, get attacked by an assailant that was curiously invisible to its senses.

Then it forgot about it.

It saw Cherry open the door to her room, then get a surprised look on her face just before she was engulfed in an electrified web, the words, "_This_ wasn't supposed to happen," barely making it past her lips before she was ensnared, followed swiftly by Rebecca.

Then it forgot about it.

It felt some foreign entity or entities trying to open the door to the VIP car where the Duchess and her retinue were staying, only to fail due to the security spells being too strong to be completely fooled by whatever stealth gear the invaders were using. It prepared to alert its security personnel…

Then it forgot about it.

It saw the unconscious Ash, Ritchie, Tiny, Cruise, Cherry, and Rebecca being dragged through the halls in crackling nets that somehow disappeared whenever a guard approached that mysteriously passed through doors that shouldn't be opening. It prepared to alert security…

Then it forgot about it. It forgot about a lot of things that night, and forgot that it was even forgetting them. Doctor Tarantulas had used all the knowledge of magic that he'd gleaned from Bellum and several experiments he'd been working on to use against her for pranks and to kill her if Oblivion's Shadow ever gave him permission to in designing the suits his assassins were wearing. The mind-wipe technology and spells that had been used in the stealth gear was very potent, albeit extremely difficult to make, and triggered whenever one of his minions did something that would normally cause alarms to start blaring all throughout the length of the train, such as invisibly going through doors or attacking passengers, wiping the security enchantments' memory of the event. There were limits to how much of this they could do before the train finally caught on, but so long as they were careful—which they were trying their hardest to be—they had no worry of being noticed. As such, the train had no idea that something sinister was happening inside itself, or rather it did know, several times, but always forgot about it.

The only thing it _did_ remember was that six of its passengers were now, for some reason, in the luggage car. It didn't know what they were doing there at this hour, but they were passengers, and beyond the comprehensions of a semi-sentient magical machine like the Enchanted Express. It put the matter out of its mind and continued contentedly chugging along towards Fichina, totally unaware of the evil lurking within it.

Then it became aware of it. But it forgot about it again right afterwards, so it didn't make any difference.

…

The next morning…

Once everyone had woken up and gathered in the dining car, breakfast was a bit of a subdued affair. While the passengers of the Enchanted Express had recovered physically for the most part from the intense battle yesterday, in many ways they were still somewhat emotionally drained, so couldn't really work up the enthusiasm to talk much. The fact that they knew, to the exact minute, when Doctor Tarantulas was going to launch his massive attack kind of weighed down on them and made it a little difficult to start a conversation. What could they talk about, really, when they had something like that looming over their heads? They'd already spent a good chunk of the previous night plotting and planning and making all the preparations they could think of for the fight based on Cherry's predictions, so there wasn't really any point in rehashing it except to further a sense of paranoia. Leo and Zippo made a few feeble attempts to start a nonsensical discussion, but nobody else was really in the mood, so in the end they went uncharacteristically quiet as well. They ate in silence…

Until Pikachu noticed something was wrong. "Where are Ash and Tiny? Shouldn't they have gotten up by now to join us?"

Sparky frowned. "Ritchie and Cruise, too. Which is odd…they can sleep in sometimes, but they're usually never late to a meal, and they know how important today is."

"Come to think of it, they never came back from Ash's room last night…" Rose recalled.

"Although they tried to prank us last night by knocking on the door then running off before we could catch them. Very immature!" Zippo said sourly.

"Isn't that the exact same sort of thing you like to do all the time?" Lu asked.

"No, my pranks are much more elaborate! I would have rigged the door to launch a pie in the face of whoever opened it, or maybe a bucket of paint," Zippo said.

Leo nodded. "Yeah, me too!" His friends sweatdropped.

"Not a bucket of water?" Buck asked.

"I'm a Fire type. I don't like water," Zippo pointed out.

Sasha frowned. "That's odd…Pranking doesn't sound like Ash's style."

"Ritchie's too. He's too straight-laced for that," Lu agreed.

"Well it must have been them, we could hear them yelling at us to open the door!" Zippo said. "Woke me up, too. And I was having a good dream! Rose was in it."

"I-I was?" Rose asked, blushing.

"Well, duh, of course you were!" Zippo said, neglecting to mention she hadn't been the _only_ one in the dream.

"…You're sure that's _exactly_ what they said? And that it was _them_ at the door?" Briney asked, narrowing his eyes in suspicion.

Zippo hesitated. "…Well, no, I guess not. It was kind of hard to hear…and I didn't look through the window to see who was there, but…who else could it have been?"

"…I do not like this," Sasha murmured, looking uneasy. "Something feels…wrong."

"What, you mean aside from the fact that we're about to be in one of the biggest battles of our lives?" Leo asked.

"Yes," Sasha said with a frown. Naturally, this put a lot of frowns on other people's faces as well, since they knew by now not to ignore the omens of an Absol.

_Those four are not the only ones who are missing,_ Dawn said abruptly. _Someone else is absent too._

"What? But who's not here?" Todd asked, looking around in surprise. Everyone was accounted for…weren't they? Then again, there were so many of them sometimes it was hard to keep track…

"Dean and Vladimir aren't here, but that's unsurprising, since they really don't like the sunlight," Diane observed.

"Of course, that won't necessarily keep them from joining us when the time comes, assuming everything goes as planned," Butler said, not looking as if he believed it would.

"They aren't the only ones who are absent," Looker said suddenly. "Rebecca and Cherry aren't here either."

Alarmed looks passed over everyone's faces as they realized this. "Well…so what? Maybe they're all just sleeping in?" Silvia suggested, although she didn't sound as if she believed it.

"Knowing what we're going to be facing in…a very short amount of time? I don't think so…" Goldor murmured.

"There's an easy way to check," Sasha said.

"Lowering the anti-mind reading wards?" Briney asked hopefully.

"No, we can just use our badges to see where they are," Lily said. "Well, Ash and Tiny, anyway, but if we know where they are, we can probably find Ritchie and Cruise, too."

"Oh. Right," Briney said, looking disappointed.

"What about Cherry and Rebecca?" Todd asked.

"One step at a time," Leo said.

Pikachu flipped open his badge and studied it for a moment. He frowned. "Well, nothing odd here. According to this, they're still in their room. I guess they were sleeping late, after all."

"Huh, think they stayed up too late into the night partying or telling secrets or whispering sweet nothings into each other's ears?" Leo asked. Everyone stared at him. "What? Like none of _you_ thought of that, either?"

"I'll just wake them up," Pikachu said loudly. "Ash, Tiny, time to get up. You're missing breakfast and we're going to be running into Tarantulas shortly. Get on down here." There was no reply. Pikachu frowned and shook his badge. "Ash? Tiny? Hello? This is Pikachu. Do you read me?" There was no reply. Concerned, Pikachu handed the badge to Leo. "Is there something wrong with this thing's speakers? Can they not hear me?"

Leo checked it over carefully. "No, no, everything's fine on our end, which means that either theirs are broken—which I'm pretty sure is impossible, considering all the tune-ups I've given them—or they can't answer for some reason."

Sasha tensed, her danger-sense tingling. "The only reason they would not answer is if…there were something keeping them from answering."

"Like being dead?" Buck cried in alarm.

"Or maybe not being there at all," Looker said.

"But their badges are in their rooms. Why would they have gone somewhere without them?" Lily asked.

"Yeah, I certainly never go anywhere without my badge," Sam said. "I even take it into the shower with me, to make sure Max doesn't try and eat it while I'm not looking."

"They might not have had a choice," Pikachu said slowly, a deep sense of dread washing over him and everyone else in the room.

"Hang on." Bruno walked over to a wall and placed his hand over a rune that activated a two-way communications link with the security center just behind the engine room. "Hey guys, do you know where Ash, Tiny, Ritchie, Cruise, Cherry and Rebecca are? They aren't here with the rest of us for some reason. Team Aurabolt's badges indicate Ash and Tiny should be in their room, but…they aren't responding…"

"Sure, give me a second," the voice on the other end said. There was a pause. "Huh…that's odd. According to my readings, all six of them are in the luggage car. In fact, it looks like they've been there for several hours. Just got up in the middle of the night and went there for some reason."

A chill ran down Bruno's spine. "And you didn't have anyone check on that? It didn't seem the least bit suspicious?"

"Oh no, it did. But none of our alarms went off, and it wouldn't be the first time a bunch of passengers abruptly got up in the early hours of morning and decided to go to the luggage car to check their bags or have a, ah, private rendezvous, so we didn't think much of it. Although…I'm reviewing footage for the last few hours, and I can't seem to find any sign of them actually _leaving_ their rooms, although recordings of their bio-signatures indicates they moved from one place to another, which is how we knew they went there in the first place. In fact…in fact…oh crap, this can't be good…"

"What?" Bruno demanded as the others started glancing at each other worriedly.

"Um…I'm looking at live footage from the luggage car now, and…there's nobody there. But bio-readings show they _are_ there, which means either there's something wrong with the system, or-"

"Or we've been boarded," Bruno whispered. Everyone gasped.

"But…but how? I thought this train was supposed to be impossible to break into!" Silvia protested in horror.

"Brodie got on," Buck pointed out.

"Yes, but he had Bellum's help, and in the condition she was in after the battle was over, I doubt she could have done something like that again!" Silvia said.

"Wait…he's still on the train. Could he have gotten out somehow?" George asked, a worrying thought occurring to her.

Fantina closed her eyes briefly. "No, ze wards I used to imprison 'im are still intact. If zey 'ad broken, I would 'ave known of it."

"Well, that's one bit of good news," said a relieved Pikachu.

_Yes, it just means that we have _another_ villain running around the train that we've failed to notice,_ Dawn said, causing Pikachu to grimace.

"How could someone get on board without even setting off an alarm? I thought this place was lousy with those!" Zippo protested. "And by lousy I meant they're everywhere, not that they're bad, although if someone was able to get on that easily they might as well be lousy in the bad way."

"Oh, they are," Palmer said. "Everywhere, I mean. Not bad." Everyone looked at him. "Er…or so I've heard…it's not like I tested them or anything…" Dawn rolled her eyes.

"And yet someone appears to have somehow gotten onto the train, while we were moving, _without being seen,_ and has apparently captured some of us and taken them to the luggage car," Looker said.

"Well, that does it, I'm suing the train company when we get back to Fichina. I was promised absolute security for this trip, and so far we've had anything but!" Goldor said in exasperation. "I'm astonished we weren't all killed in our sleep, to be honest!"

"Zat's a good question, actually," Bow said, looking concerned. "Why _weren't_ we killed in our sleep?"

"No matter how good their stealth is—and it sounds like it's _very_ good—there's no way they could pull that off without sounding the alarm. The train would have detected something like one of us getting killed, in spite of the other measures our invaders are somehow using to avoid being spotted, and then the jig would have been up," Butler said.

"Well, it's certainly up now!" Diane said.

"But how did they manage to get Cherry? Shouldn't she have foreseen this?" asked a puzzled Pikachu.

"Better yet, shouldn't she have told us this was going to happen?" asked a worried Sparky, wondering what _else_ might happen that the Girafarig had either deigned not to mention, or worse, hadn't predicted at all.

"Well…there _are_ ways to block an oracle's sight…" Lily said anxiously.

"What? And you're just telling us this now?" cried the shocked Bruno.

Lily flushed. "W-well, since her view of today seemed so clear, I didn't think there was anything to worry about…"

"If there are ways to block an oracle's foresight, why didn't Bellum use them yesterday?" Salty asked.

"Because Bellum was too obsessed wiz me to consider zat we might 'ave some way of anticipating what she might zrow at us," Fantina said darkly. "But zey must know by now of Cherry's talents, so it is not unzinkable zat zey might 'ave learned from Bellum's mistakes and found some way to circumvent zem…"

"What? But if that's the case, then…then what else did she miss? Does this mean all our preparations were for naught, and the Nihilators are going to hit us with something completely unexpected?" cried an alarmed Silvia.

"That's probably not the case, because if it were, then her vision of the future wouldn't have been as clear as it was," Lily said. "I think. However, it looks as if Tarantulas is trying to change that future…"

"Well, if he is, I can understand why this invisible agent abducted Cherry, to keep us from using her to figure out his next move. But why the others?" Happy asked.

"Rebecca and Cherry were in the same room, so they couldn't snatch one without doing something to make sure the other didn't sound the alarm," Sasha reasoned.

"And they must have done the same for Ritchie, Tiny, and Cruise…and they went after Ash because he's the only one who can purify Shadow Lugia, and possibly kill the elemental birds!" Leo realized.

"That's not good…" Looker murmured. "A lot of our strategy hinges on Ash keeping those birds from interfering with our maneuvers. If he's not there to stop them…"

"That's why we're going to rescue him and the others," Briney said, cracking his knuckles. "Right now."

"Sounds good to me!" Sam, who had decided to stay on the train after all, said as he pulled out his gun, causing everyone to duck in alarm as he started waving it around haphazardly. "I was looking forward to starting off the day with the smell of gunpowder filling my nose! And Glazed McGuffins."

"Glazed McGuffins?" Todd asked slowly.

"Yeah, they're one of his favorite treats," Zippo said.

"Ah," Todd said, wisely deciding not to inquire how Zippo knew that…or why Leo was nodding in agreement. By now he'd learned it wasn't worth inquiring into such matters.

"I don't think we have much time left until Tarantulas gets here, so let's deal with this quickly so we don't have another thing to worry about," Bruno said, heading for the door.

"Um, speaking of worrying, something just occurred to me," Buck said uneasily.

"What is it, dear?" Silvia asked.

"Well…whatever got onto the train can apparently make itself invisible to visual and magical sensors, so it's completely undetectable. How do we know there isn't more than one of it, and that it might not be in the room right now, watching us?" the Baltoy asked.

There was a long silence. Then everyone swiftly rose to their feet, drew their weapons, and stood back-to-back, anxiously scanning the room around them. Nothing happened. Nothing lunged out to attack them. Nothing materialized from thin air to strike. Nothing appeared from the shadows or from behind them or from above them. There was nothing in the room aside from them…absolutely nothing, as far as they could see.

That just made it all the more frightening. "I don't sense anyzing," Fantina said.

"I don't see anything hidden," Butler said, eye glowing as he used Foresight.

_I hear no heartbeats or feel any vibrations,_ Dawn said, ears twitching.

"Security, do we have company in here?" Bruno asked loudly.

"We can't pick up any bio-signatures other than your own. But, uh, if we've really got something on board that's avoiding our sensors, that doesn't necessarily mean anything," was the reply. Bruno cursed under his breath.

"If you shut off the anti-mind-reading wards, maybe we Psychics could pick up something," Briney said a little too eagerly.

"Briney, if their stealth is good enough to avoid being detected magically, don't you think they'd have considered anti-Psychic screening too?" Pikachu asked.

"…Yeah, I know. It was worth a try…" Briney grumbled.

"Sasha, do _you_ sense anything?" Lily asked.

Sasha concentrated. "…There's…something. It's…difficult for me to make out. How odd. Usually, when I detect the proximity of danger, it's not so…vague…"

"Well, if these guys were able to avoid being picked up by Cherry's prescience, I guess it's not too much of a leap to think it might have the same effect on your danger-sense, which I suppose is also a form of prediction," Pikachu said with a sigh.

"Leo, what about your shades?" Lily asked, getting an idea.

Leo blinked. "Huh? What about them?"

"Can't you see almost anything with them? Things that are hidden, I mean?" Lily asked.

"…Yatta! Of course! I can't believe I didn't think of that!" Leo said, retracting his head into his shell and popping back out wearing his signature sunglasses. "Aaaand…crap."

"What? Do you see something?" George asked.

"Um…a lot of somethings. As in, two dozen Joltiks," Leo said in a strangled tone.

"Oh, is zat all?" asked a relieved Bow.

"…'Is that all?' We're surrounded and almost outnumbered by an invisible horde of bugs!" Sparky asked incredulously.

"Yeah, but at least they're Joltiks. Not, you know, invisible Scythers, or invisible Weaviles, or invisible Kabutops. You know, something that'd make a good assassin," Zippo said reasonably.

"Not necessarily. Individually, Joltik may not be that big a problem, but en masse they can be difficult to overcome," Lu said, knowing a thing or two about assassins since, you know, she was one. "Additionally, while a group of invisible Joltik may not be good at killing something, they _would_ be excellent at capturing something alive…"

"Just like they captured Ritchie and Cruise and the others!" Rose realized.

"So why haven't they captured all of us? Or tried to engage us?" Goldor asked, looking about anxiously.

"Because even if they outnumber us and have the advantage of stealth, we're still stronger than them. Their invisibility is the only advantage they have," Looker said.

"Which isn't much of one now, since I can see them!" Leo said.

"So…if they know we know they're here, why aren't they attacking us yet?" George asked. As if on cue, suddenly bolts of lightning lashed out towards them from all over the room. "Ah. Stupid question."

"Attack!" Fantina shouted, launching a volley of powerful fire magic. That set everyone off, and they lambasted the dining car with spells and energy blasts and lightning bolts and balls of fire and water and ice and massive lasers and arrows and bullets and toxic needles. By the time the smoke cleared, they'd reduced pretty much every piece of furniture and most of the lovely decorations in the room to ashes.

"Did we get them?" Sasha asked breathlessly.

"Ah…no. We missed every single one of them," Leo said.

"What? How? We hit everything!" protested an incredulous Briney.

"Everything but the table we're standing with our backs to, which they jumped onto the second we started opening fire on everything else," Leo said.

In a millisecond, the table was completely vaporized. "Did _that_ get them?" Goldor demanded. In reply, several dozen lightning bolts shot towards them. "Oh, come on!"

They quickly raised barriers, shielding themselves with Protects and defensive spells. "This is ridiculous! How are we supposed to fight something we can't see?" Buck said in frustration.

"If only I had that special see-anything lens…but I could never afford it on a lowly newspaper photographer's salary," Todd lamented.

"Easy, we'll just spray the room with insecticide," Leo said, reaching into his shell.

"Ahem," Happy said loudly.

"Oh. Ah, or not," he said quickly.

"Actually, I may have a better idea," Happy said, taking out the Insect Plate. "'Two beings of Time and Space set free from the Original One!' Insect Plate, Armor Up!" She slapped the Plate onto her chest, donning her armor in a flash of light.

"So cool…I still want one of those!" Leo whined.

"Very stylish, but 'ow is zat supposed to 'elp us?" Bow asked.

"Like this," Happy said, her wings vibrating and emitting a low-frequency buzz that filled the room. The air started flickering, and one by one a Joltik clad in a full-body black suit of a material that seemed to absorb all the light in the room appeared, their four blue eyes covered in red lenses. They chattered in alarm and tried to scurry away, but Happy increased the intensity of her vibration, and they stiffened in place.

"Oooh, neat!" Todd said, snapping a picture.

"What the…how are you doing that?" Pikachu asked.

"The Insect Plate allows Happy to control all Bug Pokémon," Sparky explained.

"Whoa, cool!" Buck gushed.

"Wait…does that mean the other Plates can also control all Pokémon of the same Type?" Looker asked in alarm.

"Um…yeah, pretty much," Zippo admitted. "Except for legendaries and other godlike mons, that is."

"Why do you think Judgment is so keen on getting them? With all seventeen in their possession, they could very easily rule the world," Lu said.

"…Wait, but then why aren't the Nihilators interested in them?" Sasha asked.

Rose shrugged. "Because they want to destroy the world rather than rule it? I dunno, who can tell with guys like that?"

"True," Pikachu said. An idea occurred to him. "Say, do you think we could use that Plate's power to make Tarantulas stop?"

Happy shook her head apologetically. "Sorry, if he's anything like our Doctor Blackarachnia, it won't work. She was more machine than mon, so my Plate had no effect on her."

"Well, our bad Doctor's mostly mechanical too, so you're probably right," Leo lamented. "Oh well, worth a try."

"Now, if we had the Iron Plate, that'd be another story," Lu said.

"Unfortunately, Judgment has that, so we're out of luck on that front," Salty said.

"All right," Sam growled, strolling over to one of the immobilized Joltik. "Time for a little 'interrogation…'"

"Ah, that won't be necessary," Sparky said quickly, remembering how Sam's last 'interrogation' went. "Happy can make them tell us whatever we want. Right, Happy?"

"Um, yes, right," Happy said. Her buzz started modulating slightly. "Tell us what you're doing here, and how you were able to get onto this train!" she ordered the Joltik.

They shuddered and, reluctantly, began to speak. "Doctor Tarantulas sent us…" one Attaching Pokémon said.

"He feared what Oblivion's Shadow would do if he failed like Bellum…" said another.

"Ooh, what did he do to Bellum? We want all the gory details!" Leo said eagerly.

"Leo!" Lily hissed.

"What? You mean to tell me you don't want to know how badly your Mom got beaten, after all the hurt she's put _you_ through?" Leo asked incredulously.

"I…" Lily shrank. "N-no. I don't take pleasure from that sort of thing…"

Fantina nodded approvingly. "Neizer do I. Zat she was punished is good enough for me."

"…Eh, I guess you're right," Leo said reluctantly.

"Bitch had it coming," Bruno grunted. Lu and George coughed loudly. "Er…trollop had it coming?" he amended quickly. They nodded, mollified.

"Mom, what's a trollop?" Buck asked.

Silvia froze. "Er…"

"A female troll," Goldor said quickly.

Buck blinked. "…Trolls _have_ females? I didn't see any during the fight yesterday!"

"Well, there's pretty much as many different kinds of trolls as there are worlds for them to grow on for some reason," Leo said.

Zippo nodded. "Yeah, they have a much broader range of variation than most fantasy creatures that I know of. It's perfectly plausible that some variants of trolls have females, but others don't."

"Oh. And the ones we fought yesterday don't?" Buck asked.

"Well, considering that they told us that they sprout fully-formed from the armpits, toe joints, and other crevices of a frost giant's body, probably not," Sam said.

Everyone made disgusted faces. "Seriously? That's kind of…messed up," Todd said.

"Eh, I've heard of worse," Leo said, unimpressed.

"It actually sounds more pleasant than normal reproduction," Lily said.

"Reproduction isn't so bad, dear. I should know, I've done it over 'alf a dozen times!" Fantina said cheerfully. Lily grimaced.

"Not that this biology lesson isn't fascinating, but weren't we in the middle of an interrogation here?" Briney asked.

"Oh, right. Um, you were saying the Doctor was afraid?" Happy asked the Joltik.

"He decided to take precautions so that he would not lose like Bellum, so dispatched us with orders to capture the Lucario called 'Ash' and the oracle known as Cherry, because he believed they posed some of the greatest threats to him; the Lucario because of his connection to Lugia, and the oracle because she could possibly foresee and counter his every move," one of the bugs said.

"He gave us and our mother these experimental stealth suits that he designed to be immune to most sensory technology or magic so we could get on the train undetected," one more said.

"Your mother? Who is that?" Happy asked.

"A Galvantula named Denchu…she has served under the Doctor as an assassin and abductor and fancied him for years, and hoped that succeeding in this mission would finally win her his heart," a Joltik said.

There was a disturbed silence at this news. "…What? Seriously?" asked a disgusted Leo.

"That's…that's wrong on so many levels," Pikachu said, making a face.

"Who in their right minds would have a crush on _that_ nutjob?" Briney asked.

"This is a Nihilator we're talking about. Doesn't that mean they're _not_ in their right mind?" Sasha pointed out logically.

_It would never work anyways, I'm fairly certain he only has eyes for that disgusting assistant of his,_ Dawn said.

"Well, that's rather…sickening, but it could be worse," Lily said.

"'ow?" Bow asked.

"There are a surprisingly large number of people who think Tarantulas should get together with my mother," Lily said.

There was an even more disturbed silence as everyone pondered this for a moment. "…Yeah, I'm gonna need some brain bleach for that," Zippo said.

"I think I just threw up a little inside my mouth," Goldor said.

"You don't have a mouth," Looker said.

"Oh, and how would _you_ know, hmm?" Goldor replied.

"Well, zat was a zought too revolting even for me…and suffice it to say, I'm not particularly squeamish when it comes to zings like zat," Fantina said after a moment.

"Briney, I don't suppose you could erase our memories of that mental image later?" Pikachu pleaded.

Briney perked up at this. "I'd be happy to! And I don't suppose everyone else would be willing to lower their mental shields so I could…"

"Too late, already took care of it," Silvia said, casting a spell on herself.

"Ahhh, zank goodness for memory charms," Bow said in relief as just about every other magic-user in the dining car erased their memories to forget the horrible prospect of Bellum and Tarantulas as a couple. (Yes, even Todd. He's a photographer, they have to know how to edit and revise their photos, right?) Those who didn't have that luxury were more than a little envious, or in Briney's case disappointed.

"Anyway," Pikachu said loudly. "Back on subject. So Tarantulas sent you guys to take out Ash and Cherry. Why just them, and why didn't you kill them?"

"I already said why," Butler said.

"Yes, but I'd like to hear it from them," Pikachu said. "As in, do they have _orders_ to put an end to their lives, or what? What exactly are they trying to accomplish here?"

"The Lucario and the Girafarig are our primary targets, next to the vampire escapees," a Joltik said. "We attempted to gain access to the vampires, but found the security was too strong even for our suits, so had to fall back on our other targets instead. We took those they were in close proximity with to keep them from sounding the alarm."

"Well, it's good to know our car was as secure as advertised," Diane said.

"Yes, so why isn't _ours?_" Goldor complained.

"You aren't VIPs," Butler said.

"I'm a Very Important Pokemon!" Goldor protested.

"Not as Important as Her Grace," Butler countered. Goldor fumed angrily.

"What about Brodie?" Sparky asked.

The Joltik blinked. "What about Brodie?"

"Weren't you going to rescue him? He's one of your guys, isn't he?" Rose asked.

"…Why would we do that?" asked the confused Joltik.

Briney laughed. "You're asking the wrong person. Nihilators don't rescue their own. In fact, they'd probably have killed Brodie by now for his failure to assassinate us if it weren't for his immortality or those wards keeping him locked up, since I doubt they could have broken them without alerting Fantina."

"Zat's right, zey couldn't 'ave," Fantina agreed.

"Then what, they were just going to leave him here?" Rose asked distastefully. "Not even Judgment abandons their own!"

"Well, that's not technically true, they usually carry suicide pills to keep themselves from being captured," Lu corrected her.

"Well, yeah, but they try to rescue people too important to let die," Rose said.

"Yes, but Brodie _can't_ die. He's a Ditto, they're immortal," Briney pointed out.

"So…what, they were gonna leave him in his cabin until Tarantulas showed up to destroy us all and pick him out of the wreckage?" Zippo asked.

"Yeah, that sounds about right," Leo said.

"Okay, that's Brodie, but what about the passengers you've abducted? What do you want with them?" Sam asked their captives.

"Ash is wanted alive, or at least in one piece, by Lord Shadow," one of the Joltik said when prompted by Happy. "We were supposed to kill the oracle after getting them off the train, but Mother wanted to interrogate her first."

"To find out what we know about Tarantulas' plans?" Looker asked.

"That, and to find out if she's going to wind up with the Doctor," a Joltik said.

There was another long, very awkward pause. "What," Sam said.

"She was hoping the oracle could peer into the future and see if she and the Doctor get together," the Joltik repeated.

Everyone made disgusted faces again. "Well, there's another horrible image I didn't need to think about," Pikachu muttered.

"Not necessarily, maybe she would eat him after they got married," Leo said optimistically. "Don't some female spiders do that?" The others considered this and agreed that this was a far more palatable concept to try and comprehend.

"Is that why she hasn't jumped the train yet?" Bruno asked.

"That, and because if she did that too soon it would have sounded the alarm. Plus, we aren't at the rendezvous point yet," a Joltik said.

"How far are we from the rendezvous point?" Sparky asked.

The train shook briefly. "We just reached it," the Joltik said maliciously.

"Er, sorry to give you more bad news, but, um, the luggage car just detached from the train," the Pokemon in the security room said Mareepishly over the intercom.

"WHAT?" everyone shouted.

"Oh no, my jewelry!" Silvia cried.

"My toys!" Buck cried.

"My money!" Goldor wailed.

"My photography equipment!" Todd yelled.

"My wardrobe!" Bow moaned.

"I zought zere were safeguards against somezing like zat!" Fantina protested.

"Uh, there are supposed to be. Except right now they, ah, don't seem to be working. Boy, is my face red…not that you can see it…" the security mon said.

"Yeah, I'm definitely suing the train company," Goldor said.

"I'm starting to consider 'elping you," Fantina muttered darkly.

"Activate the emergency recall! Don't let them get away!" Bruno shouted.

"On it...OH CRAP!" the security mon shouted. "We've got incoming!"

Everyone looked out the windows just in time to see a flash of light fly past, an explosion occurring somewhere behind them. "Ha, they missed!" George said once the train stopped shaking.

"Actually, I think they just blew up the tracks behind us so we can't catch the luggage car," Looker said.

"…Oh," George said. "Crap."

Pikachu stiffened. "Leo! What time is it?"

"Huh? It's…" Leo checked his watch and paled. "Oh crap! It's…"

"The time Cherry told us Tarantulas was going to launch his attack!" Sasha realized.

"And because we spent so long worrying and panicking and yakking it up with this lot, we wasted time we could've used finishing our preparations or saving Ash and the others!" Briney swore angrily.

The Joltik chittered malevolently. "Exactly! And now there is nothing you can do to save yourselves from the Doctor's wrath!"

"Quiet! You've said enough already!" Happy said angrily, eyes glowing as the vibrations from her wings took on a discordant buzz, causing the evil bugs to hiss in pain.

A familiar maniacal laughter echoed across the desert and filled the ears of the train's passengers as missiles rained down all over the place, chaotically blasting tremendous chunks out of the landscape. "Attention, Enchanted Express!" Doctor Tarantulas' voice boomed as the air shimmered and suddenly a HUGE black spherical battleship bristling with weapons and antenna so big it blotted out the sun and cast the region in shadow appeared. "I am Doctor Tarantulas, second-in-command and chief science officer of ze Nihilator secret society! You are harboring fugitives of our organization and have committed numerous crimes against members of our order! And for zat, ze penalty…"

Steam hissed from numerous seams along the circumference of the giant black orb. Slowly, eight immense curved panels slid out from the sides of the sphere and bent, perforations splitting them horizontally to reveal numerous metal cables, pistons, cylinders, and immense joints, glowing antigravity nacelles sprouting from their sides to keep the contraptions from collapsing under their own weight. The jointed panels lowered to the ground, the joints and pivots connecting their sections growing longer and folding back on themselves repeatedly until they formed huge arachnid legs, each of which was at least two-thirds as tall as the frost giants they had defeated the previous day. As the immense barbed prongs at the tips of each leg made contact with the ground, the earth shook and rippled outwards from the point of impact, for a moment taking on a similar consistency to water due to the strength and weight of the mechanical appendages, rocking the train, which was directly underneath the sphere and thus at the epicenter of the shockwaves, fiercely and knocking the passengers about. The bottom of the sphere split open as well, metal panels unfolding outwards like the peeling skin of an Oran Berry, revealing an ominous concave space with thousands of menacing barbs and spears and other pointed instruments jutting outwards, rotating constantly in clockwise and counter-clockwise circles around a gargantuan crimson energy core crackling with power that bathed the sands and the train running underneath it in a glow the same hue as blood. A final, much thinner segmented appendage unfolded from the upper half of the sphere, but rather than arcing downwards like the spider legs, this one rose upwards, terminating in a wedge-shaped module with numerous eye-like ports on its front and a fanged 'jaw' that unhinged to reveal a tremendous cannon. "Is DEAZH! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

The passengers stared up at the giant arachnid automaton poised over them incredulously. "_Sacre bleu_," Fantina said after a moment.

"Holy crap," Pikachu said faintly.

"Nothing holy about that thing," Sparky said, making the sign of the Wheel.

"How can a machine so big even exist?" wondered an astonished Sasha.

"And for that matter, where did they get the resources to make such a contraption? It would take billions, if not TRILLIONS of Poké!" said an astounded Goldor.

"I don't know if I should be gushing about the fact that it's a humongous mecha, or screaming because it's an EVIL humongous mecha," Leo said.

"How about both?" Zippo suggested.

"Eh, works for me," Leo said. "Hey, doesn't this remind you of that one Western?"

"Which one?" Zippo asked.

"The wild, wild, wild one," Leo said.

"Ohhhh, yeah, I remember that movie," Zippo said. He frowned. "It was kinda weird."

"Yeah, but it had a giant steampunk spider robot! That totally made up for everything else!" Leo said giddily.

"Yeah, definitely," Zippo agreed.

"Oh, wow," Todd gasped, snapping tons of pictures.

_Cherry told us it would be big, but…I did not think it would be _this _big!_ Dawn clicked.

"Eh, I've seen bigger," Sam said diffidently. George stared at him incredulously.

The Joltiks started laughing. "Do you see now? You are doomed! You cannot possibly hope to defeat us! No matter how many of us you kill, we will just keep coming, with stronger and deadlier weapons, until all perish before us!"

"But you'll perish too," Palmer pointed out.

"What of it? We shall be rewarded in the next life for our service to the Nihilator cause! And when the great Door opens, we shall swarm back into this world and destroy everything as the Ruler of Evil's vanguard!" a Joltik taunted.

Salty snorted. "Another religious nutjob. Typical. Just like Judgment!"

"Why do so many evildoers persist in the belief that they will be lauded for their sins once they make it to the afterlife, rather than punished?" Lu complained.

"Actually, it's not hyperbole, the Nihilators made a deal with Giratina so that any of them who die get a pretty good reception when they land in the Abyss," Briney said unhappily.

"…Oh. That's…irksome," Lu said with a frown.

"Tell me about it," Briney grunted.

"The bigger they are, the harder they fall," Bruno said, smacking his fists together. "We took down three frost giants, we can take down this thing too."

"Perhaps…but can you take down the _others_ too?" the Joltik sneered.

"If you surrender now, your deazhs vill be svift, albeit excruciatingly painful," Tarantulas continued. "Refuse…and you'll have to deal viz _zis_!" The air around the giant spider-ship shimmered, and suddenly a couple of hundred heavily-armed battleships flying the Nihilator colors, the largest of them the size of aircraft carriers, appeared in the air, the bellows from their engines causing the ground to tremble and indigenous Pokemon to flee in terror. "Behold, ze pride of ze Nihilator air fleet!" Tarantulas cackled as the passengers gawked out the windows at the airborne armada. "No nation in ze vorld can vizstand our might…so vhat hope do a few measly Pokemon and a magic train have against us? Bwahahahahahahahaha!"

"…Well, that's new," Sam said after a moment.

"Again, where did they get the resources to build those?" Goldor asked incredulously. "That fleet looks to be the size of the entire air force of some of the world's most powerful nations! And where _could_ they build those without anyone noticing?"

"Offscreen villain dark matter," Leo said.

"What?" Goldor blinked in confusion.

"Offscreen villain dark matter," Leo repeated.

"…What in magic's name is that?" Goldor demanded.

"Astrophysicists speculate that out in the universe is something called 'dark matter,' substances that can't be directly observed but must exist if the universe keeps working the way we believe it does," Leo explained.

"…And what does that have to do with this enormous battle fleet and giant robot spider?" asked the confused Pikachu, knowing he was going to regret it.

"Every time a supervillain's latest doomsday device or evil lair explodes, they've always got a new one ready in, like, a week or so," Zippo said. "The only way they could possibly fund it and still be taken seriously despite countless setbacks is for them to have numerous successful operations going on simultaneously that we're not seeing, much like dark matter has never been observed, yet it _must_ exist."

They considered this for a moment. "That…almost makes sense," said a disturbed Todd.

"Yeah, that sounds about right for a criminal organization, though usually they wouldn't be able to pull off something THIS big," Looker admitted.

"Well, maybe they're just…I dunno, magic-ing it out of thin air or something? I mean, they've got Bellum, they must have other mages too," Salty said.

"Magic doesn't work that way," Rose said.

"Maybe nobody told them that?" Zippo suggested.

"Well, I can make zings out of zin air, but nozing on zat scale," Fantina said. "Yet."

"Look, it doesn't matter how they managed to manufacture this many ships, what we need to focus on is how we're going to destroy them," Bruno said, trying to get everyone back on track. "Cherry gave us a plan on how to take them on. Can it still work?"

"Well, I think all the modifications we made to the train last night should still be effective," Diane said.

"However, we've lost six of our strongest and most vital fighters, which may make things a bit more complicated," Butler said.

_We could try and get them back,_ Dawn suggested.

"That may be a bit of a problem," Lu commented as the luggage car abruptly flew by the window, being carried up into the belly of the giant spider robot by a tractor beam.

"I don't suppose we could use the emergency recall tether to pull it back?" Buck asked.

"No, I'm fairly certain playing tug-of-war with something that big will end rather badly for us," Butler said.

"Dammit," Pikachu said. "Okay, I think we're going to have to modify our plans a little. Todd, you fly after them and try to rescue them."

"What? _Me?_ Why do _I_ have to go up there?" Todd cried in astonishment.

"Because you're the most expendable person here," Pikachu said.

"…Oh, gee, thanks!" Todd said, looking upset.

"He means you're the only Pokemon we can afford to let go, we need everyone else here to keep the train running and fight off the Nihilators," Palmer explained.

"Oh," Todd said. "But…you can't expect me to go out there by myself! I'm the least combat-capable! All those ships and the giant spider will tear me apart!"

"Hmm. He has a point," Briney admitted.

"Is there anyone we can spare to go with him, though?" George asked doubtfully.

"Actually, I think I have an idea," Happy said, squinting and squeezing her claws in concentration. Her body trembled, and abruptly her armor hardened and turned brittle. With a loud crack, it slid off of her, revealing…that she was still wearing her armor underneath it. The hollow shed husk resembling her form floated into the air and hovered beside her silently. "There. This should give you some help."

Everyone stared at the…_thing_ Happy had just created in disbelief. "…What the heck is that?" wondered the horrified and disgusted Todd.

"Well, you know how when Nincadas evolve into Ninjask, they shed their skin, which turns into a Shedinja?" Happy said. "Well, the Insect Plate gives me access to the abilities of pretty much any Bug-type Pokémon, including the Nincada line. So I can shed my skin whenever I want and turn it into an animated servitor. Isn't that neat?"

"…I'm not sure which is grosser, what you just did or the way you infested that frost giant yesterday with your fast-growing spawn," said a revolted Pikachu.

"Did you guys know she could do that?" Leo asked.

"Yeah, though she hasn't done it too often. Thankfully," Sparky said.

"Thankfully? That's a mondo cool power! I wish I could do that!" Zippo complained.

"Zippo, your Flame Plate lets you summon fire monsters and create flaming doubles of yourself," Rose reminded him.

"Yeah, but it's not the same as shedding my skin and having a hollowed-out shell floating around freaking people out!" the Charmeleon said adamantly.

"Yeah, that _is_ kinda cool. I wish I could do that, too!" Leo agreed. "Well, I guess technically I could take my shell off and use hover jets and a remote control to make it fly around like a guided missile, but it's not quite the same, you know?"

"Yeah, totally," Zippo said. He frowned. "Now I wish _I_ had a shell…"

"Right," Bruno said loudly. "Anyway…this, uh, shed skin will be able to protect Todd?"

Happy nodded. "Yeah. It doesn't have much in the way of intelligence, but it has a bit of my personality and powers embedded in it, so it can be relied upon to behave the same way I would if I were there. It also has a limited version of my Bug control power, which should come in handy when they catch up with that Galvantula."

"Our mother will never succumb to your Plate powers! She will wrap you up in her web, electrify you, and feast on your eyes-" the Joltik started. Both Happy and her shed skin's eyes glowed, and the Joltiks winced and shut up.

"Well, um, I guess I'll be happy to have such formidable backup," Todd said slowly. "But, uh, not to complain or anything, is that really the best you can do? You can't just, I don't know, give birth to a swarm of Bugs to give me some more air support? I mean, two Pokémon—or rather, one Pokémon, and one shed skin of a Pokémon—doesn't seem like quite enough to go up against all _that._" He gestured with his wing out the window at the numerous battleships hovering ominously overhead.

"I could, but it would take them too long to mature enough to the point where they can both fly and fight effectively. If I accelerated their growth process, they'd have wings faster, but also be weaker and not last quite as long," Happy said. She frowned. "Also, I don't really like to create life just so I can throw it at an enemy. That doesn't seem particularly maternal, or fair to them."

Sasha, Silvia, and Fantina all nodded in agreement. "That is certainly not why I bore children into this world," the Absol said.

"Yes, zat's ze sort of zing Bellum would do," Fantina said, glancing at Lily, who looked at the ground unhappily.

"Yes, breeding just to create soldiers is completely reprehensible," Silvia agreed.

"Didn't you and Dad have me just to make more money?" Buck asked.

"Hush dear, that's completely different," Silvia said, causing him to sweatdrop.

"Uh, wait…didn't you give birth to a ton of kids to kill that frost giant yesterday?" George asked.

"Well, yes," Happy admitted. "But since the frost giant was so big, I knew that they'd be perfectly safe once they managed to burrow under his flesh and begin gestating inside his organs, so I thought it worth the risk, especially with such a prime source of meat to nourish them and give them sustenance to grow big and strong."

"…Ah," George said.

"Bugs are gross," Buck complained, only to yelp when he found Sam's gun in his face.

"You take that back! Sam Jr. is an upstanding member of society, even if he is a disease-carrying vermin who enjoys wallowing in garbage! After all, so is Max, and he's President of the United States!" Sam bellowed.

"Ack! I take it back, I take it back!" Buck stammered frantically.

"You lie!" Sam shouted.

"What? No I don't!" Buck yelled desperately.

"You don't? Oh, okay then," Sam said, putting the gun away. Everyone sweatdropped.

"Um…you're right, two alone might not be enough," Bow said, bringing the subject back on track. "'Owever, I zink I can even ze odds a little." She swished one of her fans, and in a gust of wind a dozen or so air elementals swirled to life around the startled Todd. "My friends 'ere should be able to keep you safe. Zey are virtually indestructible, considering zey are ze very air itself. Projectiles and missiles and pretty much any attack can just pass zhrough zem, and zey can use ze wind and ze air itself to deflect anyzing zat comes your way. A better group of companions, I have difficulty zinking of."

"Actually, I can probably do you one better," Fantina said, causing Bow to frown. The Mismagius concentrated, her form blurring, and abruptly she split into two Fantinas. "Zere, zat should do it," they both said simultaneously.

"Oh! _Two_ Fantinas?" Silvia said excitedly.

"Like one wasn't enough already?" Goldor grumbled under his breath.

"Er, what exactly was that supposed to do?" Todd asked in confusion.

"It's simple, really," one Fantina said.

"One of us will go wiz you," said the second Fantina.

"And ze ozzer will stay be'ind to fight wiz ze ozzers," the first said.

"Oh," Todd said, perking up at the prospect of having the world's most powerful sorceress at his side…sort of. "Well, that's certainly a big help."

"Er, Mistress, is that such a good idea?" Butler asked in concern. "Dividing your power and attention like that?"

"Don't worry, I only put a fraction of myself in 'ere," the second Fantina said.

"How big a fraction?" Diane asked dubiously.

"Enough to 'elp Todd wizout 'indering ze rest of us," the first Fantina said.

"But, um, Fantina, if you do this you're going to have to split your consciousness between two bodies," Lily said uncertainly. "That doesn't seem entirely safe."

"Nonsense, if Bellum could split 'erself into zree or more, dividing myself in two shouldn't be zat much of a problem!" the second Fantina said.

"…Isn't Bellum kind of, ah, completely and totally insane?" Palmer asked.

"That's a bit of an understatement," Leo said.

"Ze two are completely unrelated," the first Fantina said.

"I am ze picture of mental 'ealzh! So long as I maintain my concentration, I should be able to exist in zis state long enough for us to rescue our erstwhile friends," the second Fantina assured them.

Butler sighed. "I really don't think this is a good idea, but there's no way to change your mind, is there?"

"Nope!" Both Fantinas said cheerfully.

"I believe zat Mama can do it," Bow said. "She can do just about anyzing if she puts 'er mind to it!"

"Exactly," one of the Fantinas said, floating over to Todd. "Which is why you are in good 'ands wiz me!"

"Th-thank you, Your Grace," said the very relieved Todd. "I'll feel much safer with you by my side."

"And just to make you feel even safer, I'll accompany you as well," Palmer said suddenly, much to everyone else's surprise. Dawn frowned, wondering what the senior ninja was up to.

"What? But Kairyu, you can't go! We need you here!" Looker protested.

"Yes, we require your powers, especially for that one spell we've been working on," Diane said.

Palmer shook his head. "You guys will be fine without me. My skills will be more useful to safeguarding Todd and freeing our captured friends. Besides, I've never been very good with weather magic anyway."

"I think that's a great idea," Pikachu said loudly, seeing some of the others were about to disagree. "I think Kairyu would be better used protecting Todd and rescuing Ash, Tiny and the others then staying back here."

Dawn nodded in agreement. _We already have plenty of powerful mages here. Missing one won't make that big a difference._

"…I kinda think it would," Zippo said dubiously.

"Well, I don't," Pikachu said brusquely.

Sparky scratched his head. "Well, I don't know, but…if you really think it'll help, I guess we can send Kairyu with Todd."

Lu nodded in agreement. "Anything to save Ritchie and Cruise."

Palmer nodded gratefully as Pikachu and Dawn sighed in relief. "Thank you. I won't let any of you down."

"Good! So that's taken care of! That means we can quit messing around and start busting some heads already!" said a relieved Briney, who felt that this avenue of conversation had been going on for far, far too long.

"Speaking of which, how come Tarantulas hasn't made a move to attack us yet but has seemed perfectly content to just let us sit here for the last several minutes and argue about whom to send with Todd to rescue our missing teammates?" George asked.

"Talking is a free action," everyone on Team Aurabolt and Team Getem said with varying levels of enthusiasm and/or boredom.

"Oh," George said.

Leo frowned. "Hey, wait…but we're done talking and are about to start fighting, so doesn't that mean…"

"WE'VE GOT INCOMING!" the mon in the security room screamed as every cannon and blaster and weapon on the arachnid fortress and airships targeted the Enchanted Express and fired, sending a fusillade of ridiculously overpowered artillery on an unstoppable trajectory towards the moving train.

"Crap," Leo said.

…

Elsewhere…

_Please…don't die…_

_I'm so sorry…_

On the shore of a beautiful lake far from Pokémon Square, a Riolu and a Pichu were swordfighting. The swords were wooden, thankfully, and the edges dulled so the worst injuries they could inflict on each other were bruises or maybe a splinter or two. Regardless, they enthusiastically hacked away at each other as if they were using real steel, demonstrating surprising skill for ones so young. "You can't beat me, Ash!" the Pichu said, biting his tongue as he fended off Ash's blows and thrusts with his sword and tail. "You've never won before now, and you're not gonna win today either!"

"I've been working on my technique," the Riolu retorted. "And practicing with Dad…I've gotten better!"

"So have I," the Pichu said, spinning and striking Ash's sword with an Iron Tail that nearly flung it aside, allowing him to thrust his weapon directly at the Riolu's gut. Ash backflipped out of the way and dashed forwards the instant he landed, swinging his sword with all his might (and since he was a Riolu, that was a lot of might!). Unfortunately, Pichu sprung upwards, twirling over Ash's head and striking the Riolu's back with is tail as he descended behind him, causing him to stumble and nearly drop his sword. "The thing is, your dad may be an Aura Guardian…but mine is the greatest swordsmon of his generation!"

"Heh. My dad's not too bad with a blade either," Ash pointed out as he got back up and faced Pichu.

"Maybe, but he's no match to mine," Pichu bragged.

"You take that back!" Ash said angrily.

"Nuh-uh, I'm only saying what we're all thinking!" Pichu said, blowing a Razz Berry.

"What we're all thinking is that your Dad could stand to lay off the desserts!" Ash said.

Pichu flinched. "_You_ take that back!"

"Not until you take back what you said about my Dad!" Ash said.

"No way! Not gonna happen!" Pichu said angrily.

"Then I guess there's only one way to settle this, isn't there?" Ash said with a smirk.

Pichu narrowed his eyes. "Yeah, there is…"

They hopped backwards, crouched into a stance, and concentrated. Blue flames ignited around Ash as he channeled the power of Aura, and Pichu started sparking with electricity as he called upon the high-voltage power of the Thunderblade line. Gritting their teeth and glaring death at each other, they focused their respective energies into their swords, causing them to blaze with blue and yellow light…

And disintegrate. The children blinked and stared at their soot-covered paws in astonishment. "In retrospect, that should have been pretty obvious," Ash said finally.

"I suppose this is why Dad said I should wait until I had a real sword to try that trick," Pichu said resignedly.

"That's right, it is," Raiki said as he patted Pichu on the head, causing him to yelp in alarm and shock himself. "I warned you that you weren't ready for that move. It's too advanced for you."

"Sorry, Dad," Pichu said, looking crestfallen.

Raiki chuckled. "It's no big deal, you'll be ready for it soon enough…however, since you just destroyed a perfectly good practice sword, before dinner you're going to have to carve a new one to replace it."

"Awwww, mon," Pichu groaned.

Ash snickered, until a familiar shadow loomed over him. His ears and sensory organs drooped as he turned to look up at his father. "Oh come on, me too?"

"Yes," Aaron said.

"But we don't even _use_ swords much, we're martial artists!" Ash protested.

"Who also train in a variety of other forms and weapons so we can manifest Aura in any situation," Aaron said. "And even so, it's a necessary lesson in pride."

"…Pride? I was standing up for you, Dad, not myself!" Ash protested.

Aaron shrugged. "Still counts as pride. Besides, Pichu's right, I never _have_ been able to beat Raiki in a swordfight."

"Oh," Ash said, both disappointed to hear this and amazed by how willingly his father was able to admit something like that. Then again, he guessed humility was an important part of being an Aura Guardian…one of many lessons that had cost his father his eyes…

"Not for lack of trying," Raiki said as he came over, sword slung over his shoulder. "How many times did we go at it, back in the day?"

"On this very shore, even," Aaron agreed, smiling fondly. "Seems like just yesterday…"

"It was yesterday," Ash reminded his dad. "That's when we got here, remember?"

"Ah, that it was," Aaron recalled. "And what a lovely day it was."

"Today's a pretty nice day, too," Raiki agreed. "Guess that's why we came out here to train our sons, isn't it?"

"Ahem. I thought we came out here for a family vacation?" Delia, who was sitting on a picnic blanket only a few feet away, said loudly.

"Er, yes. That too," Raiki said quickly. Pichu rolled his eyes.

"Aaron, Ash, quit fooling around and get over here, this lunch isn't going to eat itself," Krysta, lounging on the blanket next to Delia, said lazily.

"Well, it is if Zachary has anything to say about it," Zorra, who was sitting next to Krysta, said as she kept a strong grip on the Zorua's tail to keep him from lunging at the delicious-smelling picnic basket and devouring its contents.

"So…hungry…" Zachary drooled.

Aaron glanced up at the sun and sweatdropped when he saw it was much further along its path than he had expected. "I suppose we have been going at it a little too long…"

"Yeah, a lunch break couldn't hurt," Raiki agreed as his stomach growled. "And then-"

"No more training for the day," their wives said flatly.

"But-but-" Raiki and Aaron protested in stereo. Their wives glared at them. They sighed. "Yes, dear." Ash and Pichu glanced at each other. On the one hand, they wanted to keep fighting. On the other hand, they wanted to eat. So…they shrugged and decided they'd continue their match once they had some new swords. They went with their dads to the blanket and sat down as Delia opened the basket and started distributing sandwiches to everyone. Zachary inhaled his in less than a second and would have pounced on the remaining food if Zorra hadn't conjured an illusionary sub and stuffed it in the Zorua's mouth, knowing it would take even him a while to eat around that. Zachary contentedly began feasting on it, not particularly caring that it wasn't real; the illusion of taste and sustenance could be just as filling as the real thing if he didn't think about it too much.

They peacefully ate their lunch in good company as time passed and a gentle breeze blew through their fur and rustled the grass around them. "Such a beautiful place," Krysta commented after a while as she looked at the gorgeous lake and the gently rolling hills surrounding them. "You did a nice job of finding this place, Aaron."

"Thanks. There were some barbarians who'd staked their claim here and weren't willing to let us use the place for a family retreat, so we beat the stuffing out of them and sent them running for the hills," Aaron said.

Delia frowned. "That wasn't very nice. They were here first."

"Actually, there was a small village here first. Then the barbarians came. And then _we_ came. And now someone can build a new settlement here someday. It's the circle of life, or something," Raiki said.

"Yes, but I don't think anyone will be doing it anytime soon, since we put up a sign saying this is Team Auraforce's private retreat and trespassers will be severely persecuted," Aaron said. "Anyone aware of our reputation will know to steer clear of this place, or else."

"Ah," Delia said.

"Will that work? In my experience, most barbarians can't read," Zorra said.

"That's why we made sure to use very descriptive images," Raiki said.

"Oh, all right then," Zorra said.

"It's a shame Charlie and Charla couldn't make it," Delia said sadly. "They would have loved to join us."

"No they wouldn't. They're Charizards. They'd find the place too dull. And flat. And wet," Krysta said.

"Yes, I suppose that's true," Delia admitted. "Still, it would be nice to have them here. And the others, too."

"Well, Charlie's never been a part of Team Auraforce," Raiki pointed out. "And this is the Auraforce retreat, so…"

"Yes, but he's part of Team A.C.T., which is led by Allen, who used to be part of your team, which therefore makes him as good as one of you," Delia said stubbornly. Raiki shrugged, seeing she'd already made up her mind and there was no point in arguing.

"Speaking of Allen, when's he ever going to settle down?" Krysta wondered.

"I thought he was dating Sabrina," Aaron said.

"They broke it off. She's still too hung up on you," Zorra said.

"…Oh," Aaron said awkwardly.

"Maybe you should marry her too," Raiki said half-jokingly.

Aaron started. "Wh-what?"

"Ohhh, that would be wonderful, I _love_ a good wedding!" Delia said excitedly, clasping her paws together. "And I would plan it, of course. I can already see it in my mind…"

"Th-that won't be necessary," Aaron said quickly, the thought of Delia planning another of his weddings filling him with a deep sense of dread. "Two wives are plenty! I don't need a third!"

"Hmm…what do you think, Zorra?" Krysta asked the Zoroark.

"Eh, I'd do Sabrina," Zorra said after a moment's thought.

"Wh-what?" Aaron cried.

Krysta nodded. "Yes, she is quite appealing. Very intelligent, good with magic, and easy on the eyes too."

"…Are we seriously talking about this now? In front of the children?" Aaron hissed incredulously.

"Dear, would you mind if we added Sabrina to the family?" Zorra asked Zachary.

"Eh, I guess not," Zachary mumbled around his illusionary sub sandwich.

"How about you, Ash?" Krysta asked the Riolu.

Ash, who had only been half-listening to the conversation, blinked. "Huh? Well, I already have two mommies, and Aunt Sabrina's pretty cool, so…I guess it would be okay."

"There. It's settled then," Krysta said with a firm nod.

"Wonderful!" Delia said, clapping her paws together.

"W-wait! D-don't I get a say in this?" Aaron protested.

"No," they both said. Aaron groaned.

"Mon, I don't know whether to pity or envy you," Raiki said sympathetically. Delia glared at him. "Pity! Definitely pity!" he shouted.

"Yes, you should pity me," Aaron grumbled. "Having two womon has its downsides."

"Such as?" Krysta asked, glaring at him.

"There's never enough time to tell you just how lucky I am to be with both of you beautiful creatures," Aaron said quickly. His wives smiled, flattered.

"What are they talking about?" Pichu muttered to Ash.

Ash shrugged and reached for another roll from the basket. "I dunno. Grownup stuff."

"_Very_ grownup. But it won't be long before you get involved in that sort of thing, too," Zachary said slyly. The other two boys stared at him blankly. Like most things, the Zorua's innuendo went over their heads.

"Speaking of weddings, do we still have an agreement for our kids, or…?" Delia asked.

"Well, last time I checked, we agreed that the first male of our children would be wed to the first female of yours, or vice versa," Aaron said.

"But neither of us has had any girls yet, so either we wait a bit longer, call the whole thing off, or, ah…" Raiki coughed. "Pair two of them anyway…"

Ash and Pichu exchanged disgusted looks. "Ewwwww."

"I dunno, I don't think I'd mind-" Zachary started.

"No," Pichu said flatly. Zachary pouted.

"Guess that's out of the question, then," Raiki said in relief.

"There's no reason to call it off. We still have plenty of time to have more offspring," Krysta said, rubbing a tail against Aaron's thigh suggestively. He turned rather red.

"Although…I think Ash has been spending an _awful_ amount of time with that new girl, Misty, hasn't he?" Zorra recalled.

"M-Mom!" Ash protested, turning as red as his father. "She's just a friend! I don't like her that way!"

"Yes you do," Zachary said. Ash punched him.

"Misty? Oh right, she's the one Allen and the guys rescued from Amber Palace, right? The Waterflower kid?" Raiki recalled.

Aaron nodded. "She's been rather withdrawn, which is understandable given what she's been through, but she seems to be opening up a little around Ash, which seems like a good sign of recovery to me."

"She's still terrified of Bugs, though," Krysta commented.

"Yes, well, that's also understandable." Zorra glared at her son. "Which is why it's not all right under any circumstances to make illusions of insects around her. Right?"

Zachary winced. "Right, Meema."

As his parents and Pichu's parents continued talking, turning their discussion to recent slightly worrying trends in barbarian activity—it looked like some ambitious Infernape named Gal was rising to power among the monkey tribes, for example, and a Fearow named Redwing was amassing a large flock to attack airships—Ash's thoughts wandered, as they seemed to be doing with a troubling frequency lately, to Misty. He didn't understand why everyone seemed convinced they were a couple. They were both too young for that sort of thing, weren't they? Plus, he didn't even like her that much. Sure, they hung out a lot, and sparred on occasion, and he always listened to her when she talked about how much she hated her sisters for being such superficial cowards who seemed incapable of understanding her or that there were much worse things in life than having a broken nail or ruining their makeup, and held her when she cried about her latest nightmare about being back in the Amber Palace or Pokémon Square being overrun by insects who devoured everyone she cared about, and promised he'd always be there when she needed him, but he wasn't in _love_ with her. At least, he was pretty sure he wasn't. Pichu and Zachary insisted he was in denial, which, naturally enough, he also denied.

He leaned back to look up at the sky, thoughts drifting much like the clouds. Funny, most of them seemed to be shaped like bugs. Thanks to Misty, he was starting to gain a bit of a dislike towards insects as well. He knew it wasn't entirely fair, and his dad would have several things to say to him about how Aura Guardians weren't supposed to be prejudiced, but since they caused such a violent reaction in a close friend of his, it was hard to remain unbiased. He frowned when one especially large cloud passed over the sun, briefly dimming the light. It looked like a spider.

A spider? Why did something about that seem…wrong?

_A madmon more metal than flesh, laughing maniacally as wave after wave of chittering mechanical arachnids swarmed out from his body, devouring everything in their path._

Ash flinched, his head pounding. "Ash?" Pichu asked in alarm.

"Son? What's wrong?" Aaron asked in concern.

"I-" Ash started, only for another vision to overwhelm him.

_A sinister eight-legged shadow, half-there and half-not, crackling with electricity as it phased in and out of view. Electricity crackled across Ash's body as well, and he found himself immobilized, his form held still by paralysis as well as the electrified strands of webbing wrapped around him. He could do nothing to stop the shadow from hurting his friends, or stop the…the little ones from crawling all over him! He could feel their hairy bodies and many-legged forms scurrying all over him! It was all he could do not to scream. He had to get them off!_

He was frantically scratching himself all over. He couldn't see the spiders, but he knew they were there, he could feel their disgusting wriggling forms! Was this what Misty had felt when she was in the Amber Palace? If it was, no wonder she hated Bugs so much! Ignoring the confused and worried shouts from his family, he staggered to his feet and rushed towards the lake, figuring that the water would wash the monsters off. He reached the edge of the water and was about to jump in when he saw his reflection. He froze.

Staring back at him from the surface of the water was a taller, older Lucario with absolutely white eyes and a body that seemed to be composed completely of black fire. Its eyes were completely blank and empty, with no emotion or thought or feeling behind them, and yet Ash knew as sure as he knew anything that this entity would destroy absolutely anything and everything, not out of hatred or spite or a desire to kill, but simply because it _existed_, as if that were the only thing that mattered.

Ash also knew, with a certainty that shook him to his core, that this monster was himself.

Images flickered before his eyes.

Giant birds murdering his friends, before being gruesomely torn apart by himself.

A broken and barren landscape becoming even more so as he walked through it, the earth crumbling into nothingness before and behind him, a gaping chasm left in his wake.

The corpses of his Pokémon lying around him.

An armored figure begging him to stop.

A world-rending explosion.

A bloody figure cradled in his arms.

_Please…don't die._

_I'm so sorry…_

The other Ash rippled and transformed into Misty as the reflection of the lakeside turned from an idyllic landscape into a world ablaze. It wasn't the Misty Ash knew, except it was, except it wasn't; her skin corpse-pale, her clothes torn, her body splattered with blood, a gaping hole where her heart should have been festering with darkness, her head lolling at a sickening angle on a broken neck, dead eyes staring at him as her mouth whispered, "All your fault…all your fault…all your fault…"

Ash recoiled, the feeling of spiders crawling all over his body increasing tenfold, and then suddenly the monster he had seen reflected in the lake was a reflection no more, and it became him and he became it, and he turned as Shadow Aura swirled around him to see the skies turn red and the grass burst into flame and his family's flesh melt from their bones and their bones melt into slag and the slag melt into sand and the sand turn into glass and shatter. Misty wrapped her clammy, cadaverous arms around him from behind and leaned her head on his shoulder, not seeming to notice as she burst into flame from contact with him. "Isn't it beautiful, Ash, how everything you touch you destroy?"

There was a roar like a billion different voices screaming in a billion different tones, so much within it and at the same time absolutely nothing, a roar that was empty and cold and lonely and utterly _hungry_, a roar that caused his mind to begin to fray and freeze, shatter and burn. Ash could hear the sound of something cracking, and with a cacophonous crash a hole tore open in the sky, the whole world quaking and warping in response to the anomaly. Through the hole Ash could see a monster more horrible than anything he could possibly imagine, even more than himself, his very sanity recoiling in disbelief before the sheer obscenity of the abomination, as if even acknowledging its presence would cause his mind to destroy itself. It had a mouth so big that it could swallow entire universes, but an appetite even greater, a hunger and loneliness that could never be satisfied even if it ate all of reality. A claw so big that all of Pokémon Square could fit in its palm reached through the hole and dug its digits into the ground, the shockwaves from the impact rearranging the landscape and decimating everything for miles, the very life of the Earth being sucked out of the ground and up the claw and into the mouth of the monster. The world shook so tumultuously Ash felt as if the world were tearing itself apart…but he soon realized the reality was far worse, as the hole in the sky got wider, and more of the _thing_ on the other side became visible, and Ash realized they were moving closer to the beast…that it was dragging the planet and everything on it into those fearsome jaws, to feed its never-ending hunger and loneliness.

"No," he whispered.

"Yes," Misty replied. "The end has begun. You cannot stop it. Why would you, since you are the one who began it in the first place?"

"What? N-no, I didn't…I couldn't-" Ash stammered.

But he had. Or would, or was going to, or already was. This, too, he knew with horrifying certainty. "But…why?"

"Because failing horribly has always been what you're best at, you pathetic loser," Misty said lovingly. "How many times have you blown it when the chips are down? How many times have you proved your friends wrong and your detractors right? How many times have you lost a battle you should have won because you failed to properly learn a lesson that's been shoved right in your face again and again and again, or conveniently forgotten so you can keep on making the same mistakes with that blissful look of stupidity on your face in a new region with new friends while abandoning everyone who's helped you made it that far?"

"I-I didn't…that's not what-" Ash protested.

"But it is. You know it is, don't you?" she said soothingly.

"But…the world…all those people…I've saved it lots of times-" Ash protested.

"And it always was endangered again. Did it ever occur to you, you worthless failure, that maybe the world's always been doomed and all you were doing was putting off the inevitable?" Misty asked sweetly.

"It's still here, isn't it?" he said weakly, although judging by the mouth in the sky, he wasn't sure how much longer that would last.

"It ended once, my beloved imbecile. You should know. You were there. And you will be there the next time," Misty said gently. "After all…the world ends with you."

And then she tore out his throat with her teeth and Ash woke up, to find himself in a whole other nightmare. And that the spiders-crawling-on-him thing was not just a dream.

…

Tarantulas watched the monitors from the control room of his massive mechanical fortress, the Arachnoblast, eagerly as the Enchanted Express vanished in a brilliant flash of light as it was struck simultaneously by thousands upon thousands of missiles and energy blasts. "Yes! _Yes!_ A direct hit! Hahaha! See, Bellum, _zat's_ how you take care of business-" The light faded to reveal that the train was completely intact…and it looked as if there were several dozen _portals_ surrounding it. "_What?_"

"Doctor Tarantulas, we're detecting spatial anomalies above us," one of the Nihilators positioned at the various consoles scattered about the control room reported.

"Along with intense energy readings!" The Nihilator who reported this frowned. "In fact, they look an awful lot like _our_ energy readings…"

Tarantulas' eyes widened in alarm. "Raise shields to maximum! Everyone brace yourselves!"

The portals Lily had opened above the fleet, siblings to the portals she had formed around the Enchanted Express, released their contents, almost the entirety of the volley the Nihilator battleships and Arachnoblast had launched at them, right back at their senders. The ships shook as the attacks slammed into their shields, damaging their systems and knocking their crews about. Most of the battleships made it through in one piece, but several dozen of the smaller fighters, who lacked the resilience of their larger counterparts, had been vaporized in the barrage. It wasn't much of a loss, though, because they still had hundreds more to take their place.

As the Arachnoblast trembled from the impact of the returned attack, Tarantulas bounced slightly in the large metal-thread web he'd woven in the center of the control deck, his swarm of mechanical brood scuttling across the web, his body, and spilling onto the floor to devour some of the bridge crew in agitation. Chobin, who was inside a large transparent sphere, cheered giddily as he rolled back and forth, the tremors sending him one way then the other. "Wheee-he-he-heeeeee!"

A very large Emboar standing next to the Doctor's web (not too close, mind you, he wasn't keen on being eaten by the Doctor's minions) looked at Chobin in puzzlement as he rolled all over the place, ricocheting off of walls and consoles like a pinball and causing the crew to flinch or, in some cases, get flattened completely. "Lord Doctor Tarantulas. Why is Chobin rolling like a thing that is rolling when there is no reason for him to be rolling like a thing that is rolling?" As if on cue, Chobin rolled towards him, and the Emboar punched him away without even looking.

"Vell, Lieutenant…er, vhat vas your name again?" Tarantulas asked.

"Midboss," the Emboar said.

"Midboss?" Tarantulas snorted. "Zat's a stupid name. From now on your name is Viers."

"Yes, Lord Doctor Tarantulas," the Emboar said dutifully.

"Anyvay, Viers, Chobin is in zat sphere for his own protection. He has a tendency to get himself killed doing incredibly stupid zings, and due to ze…delicacy of our mission, I zought it might be best to make sure he doesn't hurt himself in case I von't be able to make it better later," Tarantulas explained.

The newly named Viers' ears twitched in puzzlement. "Delicacy? What is delicacy? There is nothing delicate about this mission. We will smash. And smash. And smash. Until our enemies cannot be smashed. Then we smash them some more. Then we eat them. Then we smash what comes out the other end. Then we eat that and smash it again. It is not delicate unless it is being tasty and delicious feeling of victory over our enemies. It is rugged mission. Rugged like me, Viers who was once Midboss!" He pounded on his chest for emphasis, snorting embers from his nostrils.

Tarantulas sweatdropped. "Ah, yes, quite right. Vhat I mean is zere's a lot of pressure on us—me especially—to finish zis mission successfully. Ze consequences of our failure may be very, ah, dire. Herr Shadow has said he _may_ show leniency based on our performance should ve fail, but mercy is not an attribute I have seen very much in him in ze past, so…just in case he decides to destroy my cloning equipment again, I zought it best to make sure Chobin doesn't get himself killed, because after today zere's no guarantee I'll be able to bring him back again if ve somehow manage to lose."

Viers scratched his head. "…I am not following. He will go to the Abyss. He will fall into darkness that is without end and has no light switch. All of us will. You will. I will. That Nihilator over there will. That Nihilator over there will. That Nihilator over there will. That Nihilator over there will. That Nihilator over there will. That Nihilator-"

"I zink I get ze point," Tarantulas interrupted in frustration.

"But I am not getting the point. There is no point. If there is a point, it must be sharpened. Because it is dull. Like a pencil that is dull from being used too often. All of us desire the Abyss. Why would you keep Chobin from there?" Viers asked.

"Because he is precious to me, and ze only zing left in zis disgusting vorld I still care about," Tarantulas admitted. "Vizout him, I don't really zink I'd be able to go on, vich is bad because I am critical to ze Nihilator cause, and if I am unable to do my duty, zen ve may not be able to achieve our ultimate goal. Plus, I'd vorry about him, stuck in zat nezervorld vizout me to vatch over him. Vat if he got into some sort of trouble? Vat if he got on ze wrong end of somezing more twisted zan he is? I vouldn't be zere to help him. Or vorse…vat if he found he no longer needed me? Vat vould be left for me zen?"

Viers still didn't quite get it. "You…are caring for Chobin? That is…very un-Nihilator-ish. But you are a Nihilator. One of our leaders. You cannot be un-Nihilator-ish. But you have un-Nihilator-ish feelings. But you can't. But you do. But you can't. But you-"

"Yes, I'm vell avare of ze irony," Tarantulas snapped angrily. "I know it's razzer hypocritical of me to feel zis vay, considering vat ve stand for and our stance on zings like 'love,' but zat's how it is, okay?"

Viers tried to wrap his rather small mind around this. "…It is against the Nihilator way. But you are a higher officer. We must obey our superiors. Therefore it cannot be wrong for you to feel that way, because that would be questioning your judgment, which is wrong. Therefore…it must be…right?"

"…Eh. I guess zat's one vay of looking at it, if it makes your head hurt any less," Tarantulas grunted.

"You are my superior. If you have…affection for Chobin, therefore I should…should…" Viers furrowed his brow, feeling he was on the verge of a breakthrough. Tarantulas watched in interest, fascinated by how high the Emboar's temperature was increasing as his miniscule brain overheated attempting to reach an epiphany. "Should…help you to keep Chobin from killing himself out of his own stupid idiotic idiocy…because that is what you desire, and as your subordinate I must desire the same thing you do…yes?"

Tarantulas blinked and looked at Viers in astonishment. Not only was this a startling leap of logic for a Pokémon as, well, stupid as Viers, but it also demonstrated a degree of empathy—or something like it—that few Nihilators were capable of. In fact, they _weren't_ supposed to be capable of it, they took great care in making sure Nihilators who possessed compassion got quickly culled from the ranks or had those traits suppressed and destroyed through the Shadow Pokémon process. And he knew that Viers was a Shadow Pokémon, so how could what the Emboar was doing now be possible? Deciding that it was more a consequence of ambition or blind loyalty than kindness—that there was no way it could be anything else, especially from this dolt—Tarantulas finally said, "I…y-yes, zat is correct. If you could assist me in keeping Chobin safe, I vould greatly appreciate it, and see zat you are revarded appropriately."

"Yes, Lord Doctor Tarantulas!" Viers saluted.

"You don't have to call me zat, you know. It seems kind of redundant," Tarantulas said.

"Yes, Lord Doctor Tarantulas!" Viers saluted. Tarantulas sighed.

"Doctor, what are your orders? The Enchanted Express has yet to launch a counterattack," one of the Nihilators said.

"Zey haven't?" Tarantulas asked in surprise.

"No, sir. Their train has undergone a transformation of some sorts that's granted it extra armor, but other than that they aren't doing anything but continuing down the track," the operator said, pointing to his screen, which had an image of the Enchanted Express in battle mode on it.

"Hmmph, it's only a matter of time," Tarantulas grunted. "Let's see, if we try anozzer bombardment like zat, zey'll just redirect it at us, so…let's try somezing a little harder, shall we?"

Inside the train, Lily was sweating and gasping for breath. "Are you okay?" Pikachu asked in concern.

"Of course she's not okay, she just opened enough portals to transport a fuckload of missiles and lasers and energy blasts and stuff away from us, how would you feel if you did that?" Leo snapped.

"'ere, drink zis," Fantina said, offering Lily a glass with a pleasantly simmering gold liquid in it.

Lily gratefully took the glass and drank it. Her eyes widened in surprise as energy surged through her body. "Oh! I feel much better now. What was that?"

"Just a little somezing I whip up from time to time when I need a pick-me-up," Fantina said. She sighed. "I get ze feeling we're going to be needing a lot more of zose before zis is over…"

"You may be right, considering that one of that monstrosity's legs is now blocking the tracks," Briney said.

"WHAT?" Everyone rushed to the windows and saw that Tarantulas had, indeed, planted one of the legs right in the middle of the tracks ahead of them.

"I don't suppose we can smash through that?" Bruno asked in concern. "Because if we have to stop, we're as good as dead. It's harder for them to hit a moving target, but if we become sitting Psyducks…"

"Well, if we supercharge the engine using some of the modifications we made to it last night, I think we could plow through it…maybe…" Zippo said uncertainly.

"Fortunately, we don't need to," Lily said, reinvigorated from Fantina's energy drink. "There's a much simpler solution." She concentrated.

Just before the train could crash into the Arachnoblast's leg, a portal opened in front of it. At the same time, another portal opened on the other side of the leg. The Enchanted Express blazed through one portal and out the other at full speed, completely circumventing the enormous obstacle in its path. "…Huh," Tarantulas said, somewhat disconcerted. "In retrospect, I really should have seen zat coming."

"Shall we fire, sir?" one of the gunners asked.

Tarantulas facepalmed. "Oh for ze love of…is nobody paying attention here? Zey'll just zrow our weapons back at us! Fortunately, I have prepared for zis eventuality. Activate ze anti-magic jamming field!"

An antenna lowered from the underbelly of the Arachnoblast and pulsed, emitting a shockwave of crackling black and white energy that surged outwards, rapidly eating up the distance towards the Enchanted Express. "What's that?" Silvia asked in concern when she saw the energy wave rushing towards them.

"I do believe that's the anti-magic jamming field Cherry warned us they'd try to use against us to nullify the train's magical systems and neutralize our spellcasters' capabilities," Leo said, analyzing the wave with his sunglasses.

"Then it's a good thing we prepared for this, didn't we?" Palmer said smugly.

"Engine room, activate the anti-anti-magic jamming field!" Bruno commanded.

The train's dish-shaped magitek raygun started crackling with energy and unleashed a prismatic shockwave that rippled away from the Enchanted Express in every direction. The shockwave clashed with the one being generated by the Arachnoblast, causing both of them to vanish in a brilliant flash of light, the feedback causing the antenna to spark and explode violently. "Vhat? Zey had an anti-anti-magic jamming field?" Tarantulas cried incredulously. "How ze…does somezing like zat even _work?_"

"Apparently, yes," one of the bridge crew said awkwardly.

"Gah! Vell, it's a good zing I zought ahead and magic-proofed all our ships just in case zis didn't vork, vich should limit zeir options for a counterattack…All right, let's try ze backup, zen: fire up ze space-time stabilizer field! Zat vill 'harden' local space and make it impossible for anyone to Teleport, warp, or portal anyvhere nearby! I don't know how zey could have possibly gained enough mastery of scientific zaumaturgy in one night to counteract my anti-magic field, but zere's no vay zey know enough about quantum mechanics to defeat zis one!" Tarantulas declared.

"Chobin doesn't, and he was helping the Doctor to build it!" Chobin said from his sphere.

"Yes, yes you did," Tarantulas said. "By 'helping' he means trying to use a portal to give himself anal sex," he murmured to Viers, who blinked stupidly. "It didn't end vell."

Another antenna lowered from the underside of the Arachnoblast and emitted a second wave, this one pink and blue. Tarantulas looked on eagerly as it rushed towards the train…and gawked when the engine's dish emitted an energy wave of the same hue that cancelled this one out in a flash of light, causing the antenna to explode. "Vat…vat…"

"I guess they are knowing enough about quantum mechanics to defeat that after all," Viers said, stating the obvious.

"We knew enough about quantum mechanics to defeat that," Leo said smugly.

"Word," Zippo agreed. They high-pawed.

"Argggghhh!" Tarantulas shouted, steam hissing from the machinery in his skull as it overheated from his anger. "Okay, here's a better idea: bombard ze track. All of it! It's a train, it can't run off ze rails, so ve vill destroy ze rails until zere is novere left for it to go, even by portals!"

"Huh. Looks like they're blowing up the track," the Magneton engineer commented unworriedly as he checked the monitors in the engine room, the train shaking slightly as the ground quaked from explosions as missiles and laser blasts ripped huge sections of the rails to pieces, gouging deep craters into the landscape.

The chief engineer snorted. "Please. Do they really think that's going to stop us?"

"Heh, guess they don't know about the emergency tracks, do they?" the Magneton said as he pulled a lever.

The Enchanted Express charged headlong towards the very large hole in the tracks ahead of it, a hole that would derail most other trains and probably kill everyone on board in a terrible crash. However, the Enchanted Express wasn't an ordinary train. Just before it reached the edge of the hole, the wheels started shimmering. Golden light shot out before and behind the train, solidifying and branching inwards and forming…

Tracks. Tracks of enchanted light that materialized in front of the train just in time for it to roll on them and vanished in its wake, constantly creating and destroying itself and giving the Enchanted Express space to run on. The tracks laid themselves over the large gap just ahead, allowing the train to run over it without pausing, and formed a new course curving away from the remains of the old tracks, cutting across the desert away from the Arachnoblast and in the direction of Fichina.

Tarantulas' eye twitched. "Zey…zey can…zey can MAKE NEW TRACKS AT VILL? VHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME ZIS?"

"Er…because we didn't know?" one of the Nihilators said awkwardly.

"Yeah, I mean, it's not like the specs for the Enchanted Express and all its special features are available online, and the company that owns it has some kind of security clause curse that kills spies who try to steal the information from their records or something," another Nihilator said.

"ZAT VAS A RHETORICAL QUESTION!" Tarantulas snapped, lasering their heads off. (Is lasering a word? No? Well, you know what he did.) "Open fire again…but zis time don't target ze train or ze tracks, but everyzing else. Blow it all to ze Abyss! Let's see how vell zeir train runs if zere's no ground to lay zeir tracks on!"

The ships opened fire, saturating the desert in munitions blasts. The earth shook almost continuously as blast after blast ripped through it, tearing open giant fissures, opening gaping craters, and fusing the sand into glass. The train was forced to swerve all over the place to keep from getting struck by any of the residual blasts or running into the chasms being rent into the landscape, the magical tracks weaving this way and that as the engineers frantically altered their course on a second-by-second basis to keep them out of danger. While the train could probably take a few direct hits—it had some very powerful shields, after all—it wasn't something they were especially eager to test, especially considering the sheer amount of firepower being arrayed against them. Scans even reported what looked like a few nuclear warheads which they were forced to blast out of the sky or transport elsewhere before they could hit the ground, since even a glancing blow from a bomb that strong could have serious repercussions.

"I think we've about done all we can down here," the Aron engineer said. "Think it's time we stopped dicking around on the ground and took the offensive to them?"

"I think that would be a good idea," the Ampharos agreed, tapping a communication rune. "Bruno, we're ready to initiate phase two. Is everyone ready?"

"We've all gotten into position, and Todd's team is ready to deploy. Lily's on standby to open the portal. We're good to go," the Machamp replied.

"Tell her to do it! Everything's ready up here!" the Ampharos said.

"Roger that. Everyone, get ready! The _real_ fight's about to begin!" Bruno said.

A portal opened in front of the Enchanted Express. The train surged into it just before the land it had been running on could be vaporized by a tremendous laser blast fired from the 'mouth' of the Arachnoblast.

Tarantulas looked around frantically as the train disappeared into the portal. "Vhat ze…vhere did zey go? Vhere are zey? Stop ze bombardment, ve can't see anyzing viz everyone firing and zrowing up smoke! Find zem! Ve can't let zem get avay!"

The quaking stopped as the fleet halted its attack, sensors playing over the shattered landscape as they tried to locate the missing train. "We can't detect any motion on the ground—no, wait, there's something!" a Nihilator shouted.

"KILL IT!" Tarantulas shouted.

Every vessel in the fleet opened fire at once. The explosion was tremendous, a towering pillar of fire and smoke rising up into the air in the form of a tremendous mushroom cloud, a scorched crater smoldering in its wake. "Ooh, did we get it? Did we get it? Did we did we did we?" Chobin asked eagerly.

"Yes, sir, it was a direct hit! We completely destroyed…" the operator who'd reported the disturbance paused, checked his monitor, and frowned. He tapped it a few times, and then laughed Mareepishly. "Oh, uh, false alarm. Sensor glitch. There was nothing there after all. My bad."

Tarantulas screamed incoherently, fired a strand of webbing at the unlucky Nihilator, yanked him into his web, and viciously tore him to pieces, feasting on his entrails while the operator screamed in agony and Tarantulas' robot minions devoured his eyes and tongue. Chobin eagerly rolled forwards to catch some of the blood and body parts being thrown all over the place, only for them to splatter against the surface of his sphere. Mewling pathetically, he scratched at the interior of the sphere and licked at it desperately to see if he could get a taste of the gore, but naturally he couldn't. Pouting, he sat down in a huff, no longer finding his current conveyance as fun as it had seemed when the Doctor had put him in it a few hours ago.

Tarantulas looked up from the corpse of the operator, metal face covered in blood. "Anybody _else_ want to report a sensor glitch?" he hissed, blood and bits of flesh spitting from his mandibles. A few of the hungrier Nihilators scrabbled to the floor to pick them up before the spiders could, while the rest just shook their heads. "GOOD!"

"Can Chobin get a piece of that?" Chobin asked Viers, who was gnawing on an arm that Tarantulas had thrown away in his frenzied rage. Viers considered for a moment, then took the limb out of his mouth and tapped it against the surface of the sphere several times, as if trying to push it through. (Actually, that's exactly what he was trying to do.) When that didn't work, he shrugged apologetically. Chobin sighed in disappointment. "Oh well. Thanks anyway." Viers grunted and went back to eating.

"Oh. Oh! I have something to report! And, uh, it's not a sensor glitch!" one of the other Nihilators reported quickly when Tarantulas turned his baleful glare at him.

"Vhat is it?" Tarantulas asked through gritted metal teeth.

"Um…there's a spatial anomaly opening right above us!" the Nihilator said.

Tarantulas blinked. "A spatial anomaly? Vat, like a portal? But vhy vould zey be opening a portal up zere?"

Tarantulas got his answer a moment later when the hole opened in the sky and the Enchanted Express came out. But it wasn't falling, as one might expect a train coming out of a portal several thousand feet above the ground would do. No, it was running as smoothly as if it were on the ground, the magical tracks continuing to lay themselves before the train to provide it with something to move on, completely ignoring the fact that it was a several-hundred ton vehicle that had absolutely no place in the sky. For a long moment, every Nihilator in every vessel stared in disbelief as the Enchanted Express merrily chugged by, seeming to be completely unaware how out of place it was or how it was blatantly defying the laws of gravity.

"…Viers?" Tarantulas said after a very long moment, staring at the train.

"Yes, Lord Doctor Tarantulas?" asked the Emboar, not taking his eyes off the Express.

"Is…is zat train flying?" Tarantulas asked.

"No, Lord Doctor Tarantulas," Viers said.

Tarantulas blinked, looked at Viers in confusion, looked at the train again, then back at Viers, feeling like he was missing something. "Vhat are you talking about? It's…it's right zere! In ze air! It's _flying!_"

"No. It runs. Like a nose that is stuffy from a cold, if that nose had legs and jumped off its face and walked away," Viers corrected. "If it flew, it would not be on rails. Trains run on rails. Planes do not. If they ran on rails, they would not be planes, they would be trains, just as trains would be cars if they ran off of rails and cars would be planes if they could fly. Which they cannot. Just like trains. Trains cannot fly. That is a train. Therefore, it is not flying. It is running."

"I…zat…" Tarantulas stammered, his processors emitting steam again as they struggled to compute the Emboar's not-logic. "You know vat, I'm just going to focus on ze 'rail' part and pretend you didn't say anyzing else. You're right, it's running on rails. If it veren't, it vould be flying. Instead, it's just…riding a magical set of rails zat carries it zhrough ze air."

"Yes," Viers grunted.

"I want a train that can run through the sky like a nose that is stuffy from a cold if it had legs and jumped off its face and walked away and into my mouth," Chobin babbled happily. "Then I could go 'choo-choo!' and run over birds and smash into airships and be like a sky pirate! Or a sky pirate who is in a train that is not on the ground, like a…uh…a…what do you call someone that is being like a pirate but is traveling on land instead of sea or sky or space or sex or space?"

"A bandit?" Tarantulas suggested.

"Yes, that! Like a flying bandit!" Chobin said eagerly.

"It is not flying. It is on rails. It is running. It is a train. Trains do not fly," Viers said.

"Yes, that! Like a not-flying bandit who rides something that runs through the air on rails but isn't flying because trains do not fly!" Chobin said eagerly. "And maybe I could dress up in a cape and top hat and whiplash mustache and tie someone up and drop them on the train tracks and rape them and rape them and eat part of them then let them get run over by the train and then rape them and rape them and eat the rest of them then get run over myself by the next train then get cloned back to life and rape and eat what's left of me."

"Yes," Viers grunted.

Tarantulas ground his teeth, the grating sound of metal against metal filling the room. His sensors cheerfully told him stupidity levels in the room were abnormally high. Normally he would be able to tolerate this, but this day was shaping up to be a lot worse than he had hoped. He wanted someone to take his frustration out on, and he knew just the individual to do it to. His mechanical eye telescoped outwards and projected a hologram of a Galvantula wearing a skin-tight black stealth suit with complex circuitry woven into the fabric violently throttling a very bruised and bloody Girafarig. "Tell me what I want to know! How can I win him-"

"Ahem," Tarantulas coughed.

The Galvantula stiffened and abruptly let go of the Girafarig. "O-oh! Doctor! Um, I was just interrogating the oracle-"

"Yes, I noticed," Tarantulas said snidely. "I take it to mean you haven't made any progress in obtaining any information from her?"

"…W-well…um…no, not as such," the electric spider admitted reluctantly. "But I think I've almost broken her, I just need a little more time-"

"More time? You've had _hours!_" Tarantulas bellowed furiously. "I gave you so much time zat if you'd had any longer, I'd have had to call ze whole damn attack off because you'd be too close to Fichina's borders! And in spite of all zis time, you have been unable to give me ONE. SINGLE. PIECE OF USEFUL INFORMATION ABOUT ZEIR PLANS REGARDING _OUR_ PLANS OR WHAT ZEIR CAPABILITIES ARE! AS SUCH, I'VE BEEN HUMILIATED _REPEATEDLY_ IN FRONT OF MY OWN MONS AS MY EVERY ATTACK OR STRATEGEM IS FLAWLESSLY COUNTERED DUE TO ZEIR PULLING SOME NEW TRICK OUT OF ZEIR ASSES! ZEY HAVEN'T EVEN FIRED A _SINGLE_ _SHOT_ AND YET I'VE ALREADY BEEN MADE A FOOL OF AT LEAST HALF A DOZEN TIMES, VICH IS SOMEZING ZAT VOULD NOT HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU'D DONE YOUR JOB PROPERLY AND EXTRACTED ZE PERTINENT INFORMATION FROM ZAT STUPID SOOZSAYER OR ZE OZZERS BEFORE ZIS WHOLE DAMN MESS STARTED!"

Denchu recoiled. "D-Doctor, I can still fix this! I can-"

"No! No you can't! It's too late, Denchu! Have you looked outside at any point in ze last few minutes?" Tarantulas shouted.

"Actually, no, I'm in a luggage car in the middle of a closed hangar, there aren't really any windows to-" she started.

Tarantulas continued as if she hadn't spoken. "Zeir train is FLYING, Denchu!"

"Running," Viers interrupted.

"What?" Tarantulas snapped.

"Running," Viers repeated. "Like a nose that is stuffy from a cold, if that nose had legs and jumped off its face and walked away. It is not flying. It is on rails. It is running. It is a train. Trains do not fly."

Tarantulas' eye twitched dangerously, but barely managed to restrain himself from lasering a hole between the Emboar's flat glassy eyes. "Zeir train is _running_, Denchu, right outside, on some stupid magical track zat is flagrantly defying ze law of gravity! Do you understand vhat I am saying? Zey are giving a vopping middle claw to ze laws of physics, and to me! Do you have any idea vhat zat feels like?"

"Well, no, I-" Denchu started.

"No, of course you don't, because you're STUPID!" he shouted. "And can't do anyzing right! And if zey can fly-"

"Run," Viers corrected helpfully.

"If zey can run zhrough ze air like zey vere on ze ground," Tarantulas amended. "Who knows vat ze Abyss else zey can do? Oh vait, ze oracle does, _and she's not telling, because you're completely incompetent!_"

"The worst is yet to come," somebody rasped.

"Eh? Vhat vas zat?" Tarantulas said.

Denchu blinked her many purple eyes in surprise and looked offscreen. "That was…the oracle. That's the first thing I've heard her say since I started torturing her. She didn't even peep when I mutilated her friend."

"Vell, if she's in a talkative mood now, let's see vat she has to say, shall we?" Tarantulas suggested, narrowing his eyes. Denchu obediently pulled the Girafarig into view and turned her head to face the Doctor. "So, Cherry, vas it? You've been a very uncooperative oracle. I zought you vere supposed to tell people ze future, but I hear you've refused to tell my subordinate zere anyzing regarding current events. Vhy is zat, hmm? Isn't zat a violation of your oazhs or somezing?"

"Oh, not at all," Cherry said, smiling crookedly. "Just because someone asks me to tell them the future doesn't mean that I have to, or that I even have to tell it clearly. The only thing I will not do under any circumstances is lie, but that doesn't mean I can't obfuscate the truth, or withhold it entirely."

"A pity you hold so strongly to your morals. If you had simply told me vat I wanted to know, zis could have gone a lot easier for you or your friends," Tarantulas said.

"If I had told you what you wanted to know, what would keep me from completely fabricating a story and feeding you whatever I wanted you to hear?" Cherry retorted.

"Zat's true. Vhy didn't you?" Tarantulas asked.

"Like I said, I never lie about the future," Cherry said. "It's unprofessional. Of course, there's another reason too."

Tarantulas frowned. "And that is?"

Cherry smiled, showing several missing teeth. "I already know how this is going to end. I already know how my friends are going to defeat you. Anything I told you, whether it was a truth or a lie, would put that outcome at risk. By staying silent for this long, and ensuring that you would do what I knew you would, and that they would do what I knew _they _would, I've already guaranteed our victory. You aren't going to win, Doctor."

"Is zat so?" Tarantulas said in amusement, trying to conceal a hint of worry. "Vat makes you say zat? I've already proven your ability to predict ze future is not ironclad. You certainly didn't see yourself getting abducted and tortured, now did you?"

"I didn't," Cherry said. "However, since my vision of the future is currently 20/20 clear, I can only conclude that you not only do not have many of the devices you were able to use to somehow distort my precognition, but that none of them are on at the moment. That means my friends were able to find and neutralize all of the agents you left for them on the train, meaning there's nothing stopping the future I'm foreseeing currently from coming to pass."

"Wh-what? They found…th-then that must mean…my children?" Denchu chittered in alarm. Cherry smiled grimly but said nothing.

"…I don't believe you," Tarantulas said, narrowing his eyes. "I zink you're just trying to bluff me, make me so vorried I'll make a mistake and fulfill your prophecy for you."

"Perhaps. Perhaps not. But no matter what you choose to believe, know this: I have already foreseen the outcome of this battle. I have already foreseen my friends' victory over you. And…I have also foreseen what Oblivion's Shadow will do to you when you report your failure."

Tarantulas stiffened. "Is zat so?"

"Yes, it is," Cherry said.

Tarantulas narrowed his eyes. "Have you also foreseen vat is about to happen to you?"

"I have always known when I would die. That day is not today," Cherry said calmly.

"Wrong. Denchu, slit her zroat and feed her to your children," Tarantulas commanded.

Denchu complied at once, severing Cherry's carotid artery and watching dispassionately as she gasped and floundered on the floor, blood spurting from her neck in copious amounts. "What of the others?" she asked.

Tarantulas considered this for a moment. "Hmm. If zings _do_ go sour, Herr Shadow might be pleased if I at least brought Ash to him in one piece, so leave him alone. Ze ozzer Lucario too, you know how rare zey are. Bellum keeps killing any ve find before I can properly experiment on zem, ze bitch. Ze Pupitars are supposed to have some kind of magical Aura link…zing to ze Lucarios, vhich might be vorzh studying…hmm…vat's zat Ghost do again?"

"She's a spiritualist," Denchu said.

Tarantulas grimaced. "Ah, zen it might not be ze best idea to kill her. Might make her spirit friends…angry."

"Very well. Ah…is there anything else?" Denchu asked.

"No, just vait zere, I'll send a team down in a minute to collect ze rest of our captives," Tarantulas said, shutting down the communication feed before she could say anything. He turned to a security officer. "Send a team down to get ze captives. Kill Denchu's children in front of her, zen zrow her out an airlock. I'm sure she'll survive, but if she's getting back to HQ she'll have to catch her own ride. Or valk." The Nihilator nodded and went off to carry out his orders. Tarantulas frowned after his minion was gone. "Do you zink zat vas a bit harsh?"

"Yes," Viers said.

"Oh, good, zat's vat I vas going for," Tarantulas said in relief. He turned his attention back to the main screen and frowned when he saw the Enchanted Express still chugging across the sky. "Vhy is zat still zere?"

"We, uh, were waiting for orders from you, Doctor," one of the bridge officers said awkwardly. "Should we fire, or…what?"

"Hmm. Have zey made any suspicious moves?" Tarantulas asked, scratching his chin.

"Other than their riding out of a portal and, as you so eloquently put it, 'giving a vopping middle claw to ze laws of physics, and to you,' no sir," the Nihilator reported.

"I see…" Tarantulas tapped his claws in thought. He wasn't sure he wanted to make the first move, since he wasn't positive what the response would be, but there didn't seem to be any other option available to him…or was there? "Activate ze tractor beams!" he cried, getting a brilliant idea.

"Sir?" asked the perplexed officer.

"Have each ship target a different car and pull zem apart!" Tarantulas explained. "If zey're separated, zey'll no longer be able to pull off zat gravity-defying trick of zeirs and vill be completely at our mercy! Plus, everyone on board vill be split up as vell, making it easier to pick zem off one by one! And even if zey try using portals, it won't affect us much since tractor beams are harmless, and at zis range and altitude zey von't be able to get far before running into _somebody's _tractor pull eventually!"

"And once they are hitched to our tractors, we shall use them to plow our fields with their faces until we have a full harvest…of VICTORY!" Viers bellowed. "Which also happens to taste like hay."

"Yaaaay! Chobin loves hay mazes!" Chobin cheered. "Chobin always gets lost and starts eating other children who are the getting losted in the labyrinth of hay as well until the Doctor comes and finds Chobin and takes him home and gives him dinner and a movie. Then he yells at Chobin for leaving pieces of straw all over the lab and ruining his experiments and forbids Chobin from ever going into a hay maze again, which is why Chobin always has to sneak out when the Doctor's not looking to go to a hay maze because the Doctor forbade Chobin from ever going to a hay maze again because whenever he goes he comes back covered in straw that messes up the lab and ruins the Doctor's latest experiments."

"It's…it's not zat kind of tractor," Tarantulas said lamely.

"Oh," Viers said in disappointment.

"So no hay mazes?" Chobin asked in disappointment.

"No Chobin, no hay mazes," Tarantulas said. Chobin pouted.

"Then what kind of tractors are they being? If they are not the kind of tractors that plow fields with faces until we have a full harvest of victory?" Viers asked. "Which also happens to taste like hay?"

"Zey're…um…energy beams zat grab an object and, vell, pull it towards you, basically," Tarantulas said.

"Oh," said Viers. "Then why are they being called tractors if there are no tractors? They should be called…Grabber beams. Or Puller beams. Or something that is making sense. But not tractor beams. Because that makes no sense. Because they are not tractors."

"No, they aren't," Chobin agreed. "There is no hay around, to roll in and cover yourself in and make mazes out of and pack people into balers so they will be gruesomely squashed into sticky bloody bales!"

"I…zat's not…" Tarantulas facepalmed. "Look, can ve just stop talking about hay already? Just activate ze tractor beams!"

"Right away, Doctor," one of the Nihilators said. There was a pause. "Uh-oh."

"Uh-oh? Uh-oh? UH-OH? Vhat's wrong now?" Tarantulas screamed, circuits sizzling and starting to shut down one by one as they overloaded.

"Er, our beams are having trouble grabbing onto them," the Nihilator said uneasily. He pressed a button. A blue energy beam shot out towards one of the cars, struck it, and…slid off. That was the best way to describe it. "See? There's some kind of…I dunno, diffusion field going on. Our tractor beams are unable to get a secure hold because the air molecules scramble and weaken the beams."

"…VAT? Seriously?" Tarantulas cried.

"I'm afraid so," the Nihilator said apologetically.

"But…but…zen vhy didn't zey do zat earlier, vhen ve stole zeir luggage car?" Tarantulas protested. The Nihilator shrugged.

On the train…

"Leo, why didn't we use that anti-tractor beam diffusion field when they stole the luggage car?" Sasha asked.

"Because the car was disconnected from us by then, and that stupid Galvantula disabled the thing that would have let us activate it remotely," Leo explained.

"Oh, all right then," Sasha said.

Back in the Arachnoblast…

"We're also having trouble locking onto them," another Nihilator reported. "We can point our weapons at them, but then the sensors get all…fuzzy."

"Fuzzy?" Tarantulas asked slowly.

"Yes, fuzzy," the Nihilator said.

"Fuzzy like Viers' heiny which is fuzzy and very hot, by which I mean to say it is of a high temperature and not that it is attractive, not that Chobin wouldn't mind getting a bite out of it in the literal and sexual sense, but that is because Chobin is a disgusting cannibal and sexual deviant who will eat and/or fuck anything that moves and many things that don't?" Chobin babbled cheerfully.

"Uh…no, not that fuzzy," the Nihilator said in confusion.

"Oh," Chobin said, sulking in disappointment. Viers tried looking over his shoulder to see if his rear end was in fact fuzzy, but found it difficult to do so, and so kept turning in circles trying to get a good look at his tail until he got dizzy and fell into Chobin's sphere, pushing it away and sending it rolling across the control room again. "Wheeeee!"

"…You know, I zink I am beginning to understand vhy ve keep losing to zese guys…" Tarantulas said, eye twitching. "Okay, you know vhat? Fuck it. I've tried being clever, I've tried being cautious, I've tried zinking outside ze box, and you know vhat? It's not vorking. Screw it. Our targeting computers can't lock onto zem, right?"

"Yes sir," the weapons officer said.

"But can ve still aim manually?" Tarantulas queried.

"It looks that way, yes," the Nihilator said.

"Zen open fire! Hit zem viz everyzing ve have! BLOW ZEM OUT OF ZE SKY!" Tarantulas shouted.

"Well, look at that, looks like they're finally done dicking around and are ready to take us seriously," Briney commented as the hundreds of cannons on the surrounding warships pivoted and took aim at them.

"…You almost sound _happy_ about that," said a disturbed Goldor.

"I am! We've been sitting here waiting for them to stop messing around and start fighting for real for what feels like forever," Briney said. He grinned and pounded a fist into his palm. "And now…it's time to kick some ass!"

"Yeah!" Buck cheered. He paused. "But Captain, how are you going to kick ass when you don't have any legs?"

"I'm Captain Briney! I'm so badass I don't even _need_ legs to kick people's asses, I just gotta _look_ at them, and the psychic imprint of my telekinetic feet gets planted in their buttocks," Briney bragged.

"Ooooh," Buck said.

"Goldor, why can't you be as rugged and, what's the word, _kickass_ as the Captain?" Silvia asked Goldor judgmentally.

"Dammit, womon, I'm a wealthy mon! Do you know how much it would ruin my gold finish if I went around all day kicking people in the posterior? I'm filthy rich; I've got people I can hire to kick posteriors for me!" Goldor huffed.

"Bruno, is everyone in place?" the Ampharos asked.

Bruno tapped the communication rune. "Yes. We're all ready. If you're going to do it, do it now, they'll fire any minute."

"We've already started the disengagement process. But don't worry, our shields are strong enough to take a few solid blows…but hopefully, that's all we'll take!" the head engineer said. "Undoing couplings in three…two…one…"

"FIRE!" Tarantulas bellowed.

The Nihilators fired. The Enchanted Express vanished in a ridiculously gigantic and oversized conflagration.

"Yes! YES! AHAHAHAHAHA!" Tarantulas cackled, laughing insanely as the shockwave from the blast washed over the Arachnoblast, the explosion so strong the mobile fortress was actually forced to take a few steps back to steady itself. "I von! I VON! IN YOUR FACE, STUPID ORACLE! DOCTOR TARANTULAS CONTROLS HIS OWN FATE!"

"D-Doctor, we're picking up something moving in the middle of the explosion!" a Nihilator cried, interrupting the Doctor's celebration.

The Doctor's mood came crashing down. "Vat?" he said weakly.

"Make that _several_ somethings!" the Nihilator corrected himself.

The Doctor's mood came crashing down…more. "VAT?"

As the flames from the tremendous convergence of firepower died down, a number of oblong shapes became visible in the fading blaze. The first to emerge from the inferno was the Enchanted Express's engine car. Next came the VIP car, followed by the regular passenger cars, then the dining car, then the one used for crew quarters. Normally this might not seem like a big deal (well, other than them riding out of an inferno, which is pretty badass), but there was one tiny detail that made this event special.

None of the cars were attached to each other. Each of them was rolling through the air on their own power, generating their own tracks to ride on as they scattered away in all directions from the explosion. A small group of flying Pokémon led by Todd swooped downwards from the epicenter of the point where the cars had all split up, but the Nihilators were too busy staring at the impossible sight to notice. "But…but zey…guh…how…_how…HOW?"_ Tarantulas screamed, feeling like he was losing his already somewhat tenuous grip on his sanity.

"That is being so cool! Why are Chobin's toy trains never acting like that and being so cool unlike Chobin's toy trains?" Chobin whined.

"Because you are always eating them?" Viers guessed. "Which you should not do, because toy trains are toys. And trains. You don't eat toys. Or trains. They are not food. They are toys and trains, which are not food. And you should not eat that which is not food, because if it is not food, why are you eating it?"

"Because Chobin is hungry, like a hungry person who is very hungry," Chobin said.

"Then why not eat food? Food is good. It is not toy trains. It is food, which is good, unlike toy trains, which are not," Viers said.

"Things that aren't food can be good to eat too!" Chobin said. "Like broken glass that is broken because Chobin has shattered it all over the place because he is liking to break things because it is fun. Or dangerous chemicals that have labels that says they are dangerous and should never be eaten, especially not by Chobin, so of _course_ Chobin has to eat them. Or robot parts. Or underwear. Or hair. Or remote controls. Or circuit boards. Or eggshells. Or rocks. Or a barbecue grill!"

"Those are not food. Food is good. Those are bad. Therefore, they are not food," Viers said firmly.

"They taste so yummy in my tummy, though!" Chobin said.

Viers paused. "Really?"

"Yes! But then Chobin's stomach gets all owie and the Doctor makes it all better…by killing Chobin and cloning him back to life," Chobin said.

"Ah," Viers said.

Chobin moaned and rubbed his stomach. "Ohhh…What Chobin wouldn't give for some broken glass that is broken because Chobin has shattered it all over the place because he is liking to break things because it is fun right about now…"

"Vhat do zey zink zey're doing?" Tarantulas cried in alarm.

"From their trajectories, sir, it looks like seven of them are heading for our capital ships, one is heading for the ground, and one is…coming right at us!" a Nihilator reported.

"Ze Abyss? Vhat are zey up to, coming right at us?" wondered the perplexed Tarantulas. "Rrrr…who cares! I've had enough of zis! Now zat zey're separated, I highly doubt zey'll be able to use portals so easily anymore, meaning zey're vulnerable to a full-on assault! Hit zem viz everyzing ve've got!"

"Yes, sir!" the bridge crew replied, relaying his orders to the rest of the fleet.

The myriad cannons on the immense warships aimed and fired in the general direction of the cars, unable to target them accurately due to the diffusion field but figuring if they fired enough shots in a wide enough spread they'd be able to hit them. What they didn't count on, however, was several of the passengers deciding to get out of the moving train—yes, several thousand feet in the air!—to do something about it. Fantina, Bow, and Lily appeared around the VIP car, using their powers to repel, destroy, or deflect the projectiles fired at them. Briney, Goldor, Silvia, and Buck got in formation around one of the passenger cars, using their psychic abilities and magic to create a super-Protect force field around the car while telekinetically repelling anything that might be strong enough to crack their shield. Sparky, Happy, and Rose, the first two wearing their Plate armors, gathered around another passenger car, Sparky using his power over electricity to generate a magnetic field to dispel most of the lasers and missiles while Happy vibrated her wings at a frequency high enough to tear the tougher rockets apart and Rose generated a whirlwind strong enough to blow the shrapnel generated by her teammates' attacks into the next wave of projectiles, destroying them in a series of terrific explosions. Captain Salty and Zippo, wearing _their_ Plates, used their mastery over water and fire to create shields of super-thick solid water around their car while also generating enough literal firepower to equal if not overcome that being thrown at them. Butler and Diane, despite lacking any Plates or other empowering artifacts, were both strong enough to defend another passenger car by either psychokinetically destroying projectiles or having Butler open his mouth and absorb anything that came at them into the black hole inside of him. The last passenger car and the dining car lacked any defenders other than a dozen or so extra shed skins Happy had generated and wind spirits conjured up by Bow, which proved to be adequate to the task of protecting their vehicles even if it wasn't quite as flashy at the rest. The staff car and locomotive had similar protectors which helped them to repel enemy fire as they both headed relentlessly for their respective destinations: the ground, and the Arachnoblast.

As Tarantulas gawked in surprise and the fleet paused to reload, the Enchanted Express went on the offensive. Panels flipped open on the armored sides and tops of each of the cars and one hundred percent mechanical, completely un-magical laser cannons and rocket launchers started blasting away at everything around them. Most of the projectiles did little more than dent the shields of the larger vessels or the Arachnoblast, but they did a number on the smaller fighters, and Nihilator ships started dropping from the skies in droves. Others tried to pull off evasive maneuvers and return fire, but the Pokémon protecting each car weren't having any of that. Magic might have been out of the question for direct attacks, but that didn't mean they had no other abilities they could bring to bear. Fantina and Lily combined their powers to create great fireballs, conflagrations, and other fiery projections which smashed into the fighters and washed over the decks of the battleships, overheating and detonating their cannons as their munitions caught fire. Gigantic Shadow Balls peppered the airspace, creating a maze of aerial mines it was virtually impossible for the enemy ships to navigate without crashing into one and exploding, setting off a chain reaction that detonated all the others in range and tore apart any nearby fighters as well. When one heavily damaged fighter made a kamikaze run directly at the car, hoping to take them out with it, Lily smirked and opened a portal directly in its path. The dying airship flew into it and vanished without a trace.

"Where did you send zat?" Fantina asked Lily. On cue, the bridge of the nearest battleship exploded, and the giant vessel slowly sank out of the air as explosions wracked its length, crushing any fighters too slow to get out of the way in time and smashing into another battleship as it went down, dealing it a rather bad blow. Not bad enough to sink it, but there was a lot of smoke and flames jetting from its damaged sections. "Oh, well done!" Fantina complimented Lily, impressed. Lily blushed but said nothing.

Bow, seeing the damaged vessel, got an idea. So far she'd just been using her air elementals and wind powers to buffet the fighters about and smack them into each other and blow artillery shells and missiles back at their launchers, but Lily's masterful act of sabotage gave her the inspiration to take it up a notch. Calling on all her power, she floated away from her mother and new friend, a shield of swirling air around her effortlessly repelling any attacks fired her way without a thought. Once she had judged herself at a safe distance, she began spinning in place, turning into a purple blur that spread outwards above and below her, forming a giant violet tornado in seconds at least as big as the ones Briney and the Goldorringtons manifested whenever they combined their spinning powers together. The incredibly strong winds started pulling at all the enemy ships within range, damaged or otherwise. They desperately set the throttle to maximum and tried a full reverse, and when that didn't work, frantically fired every scrap of ammunition they had into the vortex to try and dispel it. This didn't work as planned, unfortunately, for there was no solid target within the whirlwind for them to hit. Bow had dissolved into wind itself and _become_ the twister, sweeping up the solid projectiles and spinning them up her central column while reflexively 'hardening' the air enough in spots so that it either deflected or refracted the lasers, rendering them harmless. As such, all the Nihilators did was make things worse for themselves when the first of their ships was sucked into the tornado and ran into the very same explosives they had oh-so helpfully given Bow to play with. The fireworks as the battleships were torn apart by the violent winds and their own munitions was, needless to say, impressive.

"Oooh," Lily said.

"Well done, daughter," Fantina said proudly.

_Hey, was she trying to one-up you?_ B asked.

_Don't be preposterous. Why would she do that? Besides, it's not like I'm able to do something as impressive as that,_ Lily said.

_Not yet, anyway,_ B said optimistically.

Not everyone was quite as convinced, however. "Hey, she stole that move from us!" Buck complained.

"Buck, darling, don't be ridiculous, she's a wind mage, they all know how to do that sort of thing," Silvia chided him.

"That may be so, but that tornado was bigger than the ones we were able to generate yesterday! It's like she's flaunting her wealth and power at us!" Goldor said angrily.

"…I don't quite see how you got that conclusion," said the confused Silvia.

"Neither do I, but I agree with Goldor on one thing: I take that as a challenge that we can't make a tornado as good as hers!" Briney said.

"…Ah, I really don't think-" Silvia protested.

"Are you challenging my ability to recognize a challenge, womon?" Briney said, narrowing his eye.

"N-no, I just-" Silvia stammered.

"Look at it this way, dear, if we can do as well as Fantina's daughter, perhaps we'll rise in her esteem of us," Goldor suggested slyly.

"Oh! What a wonderful idea! Let's give it a try, then!" Silvia said eagerly. Briney hid his smile. Excellent, just as he had planned. He didn't really believe Bow had been challenging them or flaunting anything, but he didn't want his reputation as the Nihilators' worst nightmare to be tarnished by letting someone else cause more mayhem and wanton destruction to their forces than him!

As they had so many times before, they started spinning, the Goldorringtons whirling around Briney with Rapid Spin while the good Captain formed the core with Gyro Ball. Within moments, they had a towering whirlwind of metallic hues that rose into the heavens and began sucking in every Nihilator ship within range…

And yet, it still wasn't as large as the one Bow had made. "It's not good enough! We need more power!" Goldor grunted.

"But dear, I don't think we can-" Silvia protested.

"More power coming right up!" Briney said, spinning even faster and causing the tornado to visibly grow.

It grew so visibly, in fact, that it caught Bow's attention. "Say, zat's not a bad twister…hmm, but it could stand to be stronger. Say, do you mind if I cut in?"

"What? No, this is our-" Goldor protested, outraged.

"Of course, milady! We would be happy to have you!" Silvia said quickly.

"Eh, so long as we kill a bunch of Nihilators, I don't care," Briney said.

"If it'll make everything stop spinning sooner, I'm all for it," Buck moaned. "I'm getting dizzy…ooooohhhhhh…"

The purple twister that was Bow spun over to and integrated with the one created by the four metallic Pokémon, adding a powerful purple streak to its spiral. With Bow's power added to their own, the tornado swelled up to astonishing proportions, becoming a massive chromatic hurricane that engulfed a full quarter of the Nihilator fleet within seconds of its formation and came dangerously close to swallowing the rest soon after. "Ack! Zis is too much!" Tarantulas cried in alarm as the Arachnoblast shook, its massive frame groaning as its mechanical legs dug into the ground to try and keep from being sucked up by the tornado.

"Doctor, we can't hold out much longer! What do we do?" one of the bridge crew yelled while many of the others ran around screaming in panic only to get flattened by a giggling Chobin as he rolled all over the place.

"Simple: change ze weazher!" Tarantulas ordered. "Fire ze Solar Cannon!"

The Arachnoblast tilted its head up, jaws opening wide as the cannon in its mouth gathered power. With tremendous recoil that almost slammed the head into the body, it fired a ball of golden energy straight up towards the Sun. It faded from view as it vanished into the sky…

And then there was a blinding flash of light and suddenly the sunlight grew brighter, the temperature got higher, the humidity rose sharply, and all the metal began to sizzle as the artificial Sunny Day made an already hot day in the desert even hotter. As the harsh beams of the intensified Sun burned down on them, the five Pokémon were forced to stop spinning, the tornado vanishing around them and leaving them rather dizzy. "What the…why did…why did we stop?" Goldor asked, eyes swirling.

"In a battle, you can only have one weather condition on the field at a time…first it was our tornado, now it's Sunny Day," Briney said, shaking his head to try and stop seeing quadruple of everything.

"But…Whirlwind or Gyro Ball or Rapid Spin or…whatever the heck it is we did weren't weather attacks!" Buck protested.

"Tell zat to ze Nihilators," said the very dazed Bow.

Fantina squinted up at the intensified Sun. "Hmm…unpleasant, but I zink zis might be just what we needed, don't you zink, Lily?"

Lily nodded in agreement. "Yes…it's time to test that new spell we've been working on and see if we can't bring _everyone_ out for this fight."

"Diane! Butler! Bow! Goldor! Silvia! Buck! Rose! Begin casting Black Sun, just like we practiced!" Fantina shouted to the others, her voice carried to their ears by magic. Immediately, they all stopped what they were doing and began chanting incantations, bodies glowing as they gathered their power.

Tarantulas frowned. "Vhat are zey doing now? Surely zey know ve are impervious to magic…unless…could zey have found a vay around zat? Quickly, concentrate our fire on zose mages! Vhile zey're casting, zeir guard is down!"

"Firing now!" the gunner said as the order was relayed to the fleet and they started focusing their weapons on the mages rather than the train cars, which were still rolling around doing damage.

Fortunately for our heroes, none of those shots landed. "Ha, not on my watch you don't!" Briney said as he quickly hovered in front of Bow and the Goldorringtons, forming a Protect barrier around them while using his Psychic abilities to deflect or redirect as many projectiles as he could. The ones that couldn't hammered into his barrier, causing him to flinch and grind his teeth as the constant firepower slowly eroded at his will. _Come on…whatever you're doing, finish it quickly!_ He thought. He blinked in surprise when a powerful wind surged around his barrier, easing his tension and repelling more of the incoming missiles. He smirked when he realized that Bow's air elementals were lending a hand, seeking to do whatever they could to protect their friend. _Heh…the lass has some pretty loyal friends. I'd have expected something made of wind to be much more fickle and unreliable…whatever it is that's caused them to take such a consistent interest in her affairs, and therefore the rest of ours, I'm thankful for the help._

The wind elementals were also doing what they could to protect the other spellcasters, with help from the remaining fighters who weren't too engrossed in summoning magical power. "Upon my honor, you fiends shall not touch a hair on these noble ladies' heads!" Sparky declared from the back of his winged lightning-dragon-horse steed as he used the powers of the Zap Plate to erect an electromagnetic barrier that absorbed energy blasts and emitted bolts of electricity that fried and destroyed the missiles that came at him, Lily, and Fantina, whom he had valiantly decided to protect.

"You keep your stinking paws off my girl, or you're gonna wipe out big time!" Zippo threatened angrily as he hovered protectively in front of Rose, hurling fireballs almost constantly and creating walls of flame and superheated air to deflect artillery fire. He looked rather magnificent in his Flame Plate armor, though not quite as good as Surtrit, but then again, Surtrit had been a bronzed demigod, whereas Zippo was…well, Zippo. His body was covered in flexible crimson armor with gold filigree of flames and dragons decorating the segmented plates and links holding his suit together, with an especially large flame symbol embossed on his chest. Vents on the sides of his limbs emitted jets of flame that grew bigger and hotter the more intensity he put into his attacks. A pair of long vertical vents on his back emitted two immense waves of flame-like wings, which sadly were more ornamental than functional since he was a Charmeleon and therefore still unable to fly. He compensated for that, however, by riding on top of a surfboard made of molten rock that swished back and forth on a cushion of gravity-defying lava, making fiery 'waves' in midair. His tail flame was ensconced in an ornate metal and crystal cage that resembled a lantern, offering it protection from the elements. A sword and shield made of flames were gripped in his clawed gauntlets. His head was clad in a helmet in the shape of a Charizard's head, with a pair of long metal horns growing out the back and eyes that were literally flaming. The jaws of the Charizard head opened to reveal Zippo's snout, teeth clenched in determination as he mustered all the power he had available to him for the sake of protecting Rose. So long as his tail flame burned, along with the flame in his heart, he would not let a single enemy missile through!

Captain Salty and Happy were doing the same thing forButlerand Diane; however, they did not share the same level of intensity and determination as their fiery teammate. "Shouldn't we go help him?" Happy asked in concern as she fired stingers and Bug-type blasts while mentally directing her shed-skin minions around the sky, putting them in defensive formations to help them repel the enemy volley. Several of them were unable to hold the line and were destroyed, but there were always more where they came from.

Salty shook his head as he conjured a wall of solid water with a swish of his tentacle, several dozen missiles exploding harmlessly against it. "No. This is something the lad's got to do for himself. Yesterday, he was unable to fight alongside the rest of us due to the enchantresses needing his Plate to summon Surtrit, so he could do little more than take on some grunts and help blow up a frost giant that was already severely wounded. He wasn't there to protect Rose or assist his teammates when we needed it. Now that he has his power back, he's determined to prove his worth and show how committed he is to the battle by fighting just as strongly as the rest of us…as well as the depths of his feelings for Rose. As much as anything, for Zippo this is a fight for love."

"…I see. I suppose Leo must be upset that he can't be up here to fight with Lily, isn't he?" Happy realized.

Salty chortled. "You have no idea how hard he begged for me to lend him the Splash Plate. It was kind of sad, really."

"Leo's contributing just as much to this effort as the rest of us," Happy pointed out. "We might not have been able to get everything up and running in time for Tarantulas' assault if it weren't for his technical know-how."

"And for all that know-how, he's still stuck inside one of these cars like the others who can't fly, unable to do much more than steer his car and fire the weapons," Salty pointed out. "And while he's (relatively) safe inside the armored car, the love of his life is out here, risking her unlife…again. And unlike Zippo, Leo doesn't have an enchanted suit of armor or the like he can use to come out here and join us without putting himself at risk of getting his head blown off by a stray missile."

"…I see. That _is_ rather sad," Happy admitted. She frowned. "Speaking of helping out, I can't help but think this would be just the slightest bit easier if Kairyu had stayed. I know he said he's terrible with weather magic, but I honestly think we could have used the extra mon."

"Maybe, but so could Todd," Salty pointed out. "Aside from Kairyu, all he's got protecting him are a bunch of flighty spirits, an empty shell, and a fragment of Fantina. Isn't a complete living breathing Pokémon an improvement over a crew like that?"

"Hmm. Good point," Happy said. "Even so, I would still be happier with another mon or two up here to help out."

"Then it's a good thing we'll have another mon or two up here to help out in just a moment," Salty said with a smirk. "I think our mystical friends here are ready."

The armored Tentacool was correct. As power surged around them and their chanting grew louder, each of the mages raised their limbs (or appropriate appendages) into the air, a sphere of red and black energy forming between them. When the spheres were fully formed, they dropped their limbs, and the energy balls zigzagged up into the sky, converging into a single massive sphere which shot up towards the Sun and disappeared. There was a flash of light, and then a tremendous pulse of energy shot out from the Sun, causing the skies to turn the color of blood and the Sun itself to become pitch-black with a blazing red corona. Tarantulas gaped at this, the latest in a long line of unexpected impossibilities that were making his day utterly miserable. "Ze Sun. Zey…zey did somezing to ze SUN? VHAT ZE ABYSS?"

Chobin screamed in horror. "No! Not the Sun! Anything but the Sunny Sun of Sunliness that shines warmly upon all things and grants life to anyone who bathes in its brilliant all-encompassing light and incinerates anyone who bathes in its brilliant all-encompassing light! Chobin is loving the Sunny Sun of Sunliness that shines warmly upon all things and grants life to anyone who bathes in its brilliant all-encompassing light and incinerates anyone who bathes in its brilliant all-encompassing light even more than he is loving little Chobin whom he so enjoys playing with and holding and squeezing and biting and drinking the yummy white and red liquid that comes out and sticking it into orifices on other people's bodies! In fact, Chobin has always wanted to pierce the Sunny Sun of Sunliness that shines warmly upon all things and grants life to anyone who bathes in its brilliant all-encompassing light and incinerates anyone who bathes in its brilliant all-encompassing light with little Chobin whom he so enjoys playing with and holding and squeezing and biting and drinking the yummy white and red liquid that comes out and sticking it into orifices on other people's bodies, even though doing so would cause Chobin to catch on fire and die in horrible burning agony of owies and flames and screaming and barbecue sauce!" As everyone stared at him, he considered the Sun again then said, "On second thought, Chobin is liking the Sun much better this way. It reflects the black void that is being Chobin's hardened seed of a heart."

"Um…right…" Tarantulas said slowly. "Can anyone tell me vhat just happened?"

"The Sun is unchanged, sir," a Nihilator reported as he checked and double-checked his sensors. "It only looks like it has from our angle because that spell they cast has done something to the sky directly above us, rearranging the way the molecules in the upper layers of the atmosphere are set up to alter how it refracts extraplanetary radiation. As such, it's filtering the amount of sunlight we receive, resulting in the strange phenomenon we're currently witnessing."

Tarantulas frowned. "Filtering sunlight? But vhy vould zey…" He gasped. "Do a spectral analysis! Is zis rearranged atmosphere keeping out ultraviolet radiation?"

"Um…according to my scanners, yes," the same Nihilator from before said.

"Of course! Just as I zought!" Tarantulas cackled. "Zey're trying to make external conditions more suitable for zem to avaken zeir vampire allies and add zem to ze fight!"

"Oh! Oh! Does that mean-" Chobin asked hopefully.

"No Chobin, you can't become a vampire," Tarantulas said. Chobin pouted.

"Vampires are sissies. Sissies who are abusive boyfriends and sparkle in the sun. Like diamonds. Diamonds who are abusive boyfriends. Like the wedding rings of abusive husbands. Except only the rings sparkle, rather than the husbands. Unless the husbands are vampires too. Or Shiny Pokémon. Or Pokémon with crystals or polished surfaces. And drink blood. I shall crush them so that they sparkle no more. And abuse their girlfriends no longer. Then I can abuse them instead. But I will not sparkle. Because I am not a sissy," Viers said.

"…Um, zese vampires don't sparkle in ze sun, zey burn up," Tarantulas said.

Viers snorted. "They are still sissies. Sissies who cannot stand the Sun. I can stand the Sun. I am a Fire-type. I burn always. Like a barbecue grill, or an oil slick on fire in the ocean. That kills thousands of marine Pokémon. Just as I do when I go swimming. Not that I go swimming much, since I am a Fire-type. Who burns always. Like a barbecue grill, or an oil slick-"

"Okay, okay, ve get ze point!" Tarantulas snapped. "On zeir own, zey might not be able to do much, I agree…but in conjunction viz everyone else, and resistance to all zeir veaknesses—if vhat I heard about zose silver-proof amulets are true—zey could be a real problem! Ve can't let zem vake up! Concentrate all our fire on ze VIP car, zat is vere our intelligence indicates zey are being kept!"

"Yes sir!" There was a pause. "Uh, which one is the VIP car?"

"You idiot!" Tarantulas snapped. "It's…uh…" Tarantulas paused and took another look at the train cars rolling all over the place. Due to their high speeds and the protective armor they were all wearing, they all looked pretty much the same, except for the engine car. "Zat's…um…a very good question…"

While a confused Tarantulas tried to figure out which of the cars zipping around shooting at his warships contained the vampires, the staff car continued its descent towards the ground, pursued by a rather large fighter squadron. Since it wasn't attacking any of the larger ships and had no recognizable protectors other than the generic Happy shells or wind spirits, it was deemed to be of a lower priority than the other cars, which were actively battling the fleet. However, none of the train cars could be allowed to escape in case they were trying to use a clever ruse to make it to Fichina to get backup, so the Nihilators were still fully committed to destroying it.

Unfortunately for the Nihilators, the car's occupants were fully committed to destroying them in return. As the car weaved back and forth to dodge the enemy missiles while doing its best to return fire, one of the windows on the side slid open and Sam stuck his head out. He squinted at the enemy fighters shooting at him, seeming to be unbothered by the incredibly high-speed winds whipping by him or the laser blasts and explosions that kept striking the hull only inches away from his face. As his gums and ears flapped in the wind, he pulled out his gun, took aim, and fired a dozen shots. An equal number of enemy fighters exploded, despite the fact that each ship was heavily shielded and made of metal that should have been thick enough to keep it from being destroyed so easily by a single bullet fired from a handheld weapon. "Ha! Beat that!" he called back into the train.

"Okay," said George, who was sticking her head out of a window on the other side of a car. Loading one of her special arrows into her crossbow, she took aim and fired. The fighters didn't even bother maneuvering out of the way, seeing little threat in a weapon as primitive as an arrow. They were aware that George had special 'trick' arrows, yes, but they were confident their shields were strong enough to guard against her explosive shots. They were correct. Unfortunately, the arrow George had just shot wasn't explosive in nature. As it passed through a large cluster of ships, it detonated, releasing not a conflagration but an electromagnetic pulse. Now, this wasn't such a bad thing for the Nihilators, since their systems were hardwired to keep them from being shorted out so easily. Their _shields,_ on the other hand, were not so lucky, and the very next arrow George fired was an explosive one that struck her target, one of the enemy ships' wings, directly. The explosion ripped apart the fighters' wing and sent it spiraling out of control, smashing into the closest fighter, which smashed into the fighter next to it, which smashed into the fighter next to it, causing a chain reaction that destroyed a good portion of the Nihilators' formation and downed _two_ dozen ships.

"That only counts as _one!_" Sam shouted angrily as George gave him a smug grin. They both went back to shooting. This, in combination with the cars' auto-firing blasters and the backup provided by their escorts, destroyed the rest of the enemy squadron by the time the car finally touched down, hit the brakes, and gradually rolled to a screeching, sparking stop on the battle-scarred ground, the tracks fading away. Noticing this, the Nihilators dispatched another squadron to attack the unmoving target, currently too busy trying to hit the fast-moving cars buzzing around them to shoot at the ground below. This would prove to be a deadly mistake, and one that could not be rectified by the time the reinforcements arrived.

"Heh, look at them," Sam commented as he and George popped open the door and stared out at the incredible dogfight going on over their heads. "All so busy shooting at the others they've practically forgotten about us."

"More the fool they, since we have _exactly_ what they're having such a fit about right here," George commented as she shoved a large, ornate coffin onto the sandy scorched ground. "Gimme a hand with these, will you?"

Together, Sam and George carried out the other two coffins the sleeping vampires were sequestered in, which they had very cleverly transported from the undead Pokémons' quarters in the VIP car to the staff car in one of the large lulls during the fight. Once all three caskets were on the ground, Sam pointed his gun at the lid of the biggest one. "Sam! What are you doing?" George cried in alarm.

"Waking him up," Sam said.

George rolled her eyes. "He's on _our_ side, Sam! You don't wake up your allies by shooting at them!"

"I do it to Max all the time, but I see your point," Sam admitted reluctantly, holstering his gun. "I'm so used to shooting at vampires it sort of comes as second nature. Huh. Just the other week, Max and I killed a fruity vampire with the help of a vampire hunter from another universe and his big-nosed talking sunflower. Now I'm fighting alongside some. Talk about irony."

George bent over and knocked on the biggest coffin. "Vladimir? Time to wake up. The Sun's nice and dark for you, just what you guys wanted."

"Then…I shall awaken!" The coffin started rumbling, and George quickly backed away. The lid burst open, and a huge swarm of Woobat flew out, squawking and shrieking and filling the air. As they swirled above them in a great squeaking cloud of darkness, Vladimir, resplendent in his cape and formal wear, arose, elevating at a ninety degree angle from lying flat to standing up straight without bothering to sit up in between. His red eyes shot open, and he began to cackle malevolently…

And then stumbled backwards as Sam shot him in the chest. "Ow! Hey, what was that for?" he whined as he rubbed the smoking hole in his shirt, more upset that Sam had ruined his dramatic entrance than the fact that he'd been shot at.

"Sorry, force of habit," Sam apologized as George glared at him. "We don't really have time for melodramatics, Vlad. We're kind of in the middle of a warzone here."

"Hmm? Oh. Oh dear. Yes, I see," Vladimir murmured when he looked up and saw what was going on above them. "You're right, we don't have time to mess around. Dean! Bob! Awaken! We have work to do!"

Dean's coffin popped open and Dean pulled himself up with a yawn, rubbing at his eyes with his wing-antenna. "Ugh, it's too early in the night for this…huh?" He blinked and looked at the red sky and the black Sun. "Scratch that, it's not night at all…"

Bob's coffin lid shook and…stayed still. They could hear several pounding noises from within, followed by a frightened whimper. Vladimir sighed. "Dean, Bob's stuck again. Get him out, would you?"

"What? Why do I have to?" Dean protested.

"Because I said so," Vladimir said imposingly.

Grumbling in frustration, Dean waddled over to Bob's coffin and shoved it open. An enthusiastic Bob leaped out, tackled Dean to the ground, and eagerly covered his face in slobber. "Ack! Get off, get off, you're getting drool and dirt all over my cape!" the vampiric Wooper cried in alarm.

"Both of you get up! We don't have time for games, there's a battle going on!" Vladimir commanded. As if to emphasize this, the ground nearby exploded as a missile impacted, causing them all to jump. They yelped and ducked for cover as a series of laser blasts rained down all around them, throwing up sand and chunks of dirt. Vladimir squinted through the haze and smoke to see a squadron of fighters swooping around to make another pass. "Accursed Nihilators…long have I hoped we would finally get a chance to fight them, and make them pay for the atrocities we suffered at their hands!"

"And all the embarrassment, too…some of the things they did to use were really humiliating!" Dean complained as he shoved Bob off.

"Attack, my minions! Show them what happens to those who anger Vladimir, Lord of Night!" the vampiric Swalot boomed as he pointed at the fighters. The Woobats above him shrieked in reply and flew towards the approaching ships, metamorphosing into Swoobat so they could deal and take more damage. Vladimir glanced at Dean and Bob and frowned. "Why are you still on the ground? I said to attack!"

"What, us too?" Dean complained.

"Yes! Get up there!" Vladimir said.

"But Bob can't fly!" Dean protested.

Vladimir shrugged. "Then carry him."

Dean's eye twitched in frustration. "I'd better get a damn good reward from the Mistress for my loyal service after all this is over …like a promotion to the aristocracy. Or a harem. Or a promotion _and_ a harem! Yeah, that'd be nice." Muttering such things under his breath, he spread his wings and rose into the air, feet transforming into claws with which he could pick up Bob and carry him into the air, the electric mutt yelping and flailing in terror all the way, which didn't make it easier for the poor Wooper.

"I shall go as well," Vladimir said imperiously. "So that not just this motley flock, but all those bloated ships above us shall feel my wrath and feed my bloodlust! Coming?"

"In just a minute," Sam said. "Our new ride has to get here first."

Vladimir shrugged. "Fair enough. Good hunting to you, and take care of yourself! We must celebrate in Fichina together, and the festivities would be ruined if any of you were to die! Of course, I could probably raise you as zombies, but that wouldn't be the same."

"Yeah, I was a zombie once. Didn't like it much," Sam agreed. "Max was okay with it, but then again he's the President, so it's not like there's much of a difference."

"…Ah. Okay," Vladimir said awkwardly as George gave Sam a weird look. "I'll…just be off now. Farewell!" He sprouted wings and leaped into the air to aid his minions.

"…You were a zombie once?" George asked Sam after a moment.

"More than once, actually, but most of the time it's due to not getting my morning coffee yet," Sam said, turning and shading his eyes as he squinted at the horizon, searching.

"So, uh, when exactly _is_ our new ride going to get here?" George asked.

Sam narrowed his eyes as he saw a dust cloud far, far off in the distance. "Now."

Up in the Arachnoblast control room, Tarantulas was screaming and swearing vehemently as he realized he'd been tricked and that the vampires were now on the loose and yelling for everyone to kill the Arceusdamned bloodsuckers already because they were the whole Arceusdamned reason they were out here in the first place and maybe if they killed them Oblivion's Shadow might overlook how Arceusdamned much they'd screwed up already when one of the operators cried out in surprise. "Doctor Tarantulas, sir, we've got something inbound!"

Tarantulas moaned, wondering what had gone wrong now. "What is it? An antimatter missile? An army from Fichina? Ze Guardian of Hope?"

"Uh, no sir, none of those, it appears to be…" the Nihilator frowned and rechecked his scanners. "A car."

Tarantulas blinked. "…A _car?_"

"Yes sir. See for yourself," the operator said, transmitting a feed from his sensors to Tarantulas' mechanical eye, allowing the cyborg Ariados to see what appeared to be a vintage black and white DeSoto Adventurer (not that the Doctor knew what that was) approaching them at approximately…

"Sixteen zhousand miles per hour?" Tarantulas screamed incredulously. "Zat's even faster zan a Dragonite! How ze Abyss can a car move _zat fast?_"

"Ooh…zoom, zoom!" Chobin said cheerily.

"No clue, sir…but it's slowing down and appears to be heading for that car that just landed and released the vampires," the operator said.

Tarantulas groaned and ran his legs over his face. "Oh no, vhat now?"

On the ground, the DeSoto screeched to a precision halt a few feet away from Sam and George, the shriek from its wheels tremendous as it hit the brakes harder than most cars could handle. (Then again, the DeSoto wasn't most cars.) A huge cloud of dust wafted in its wake, and flames crackled from the high-speed tread marks it had left behind it. Headlights flashing and engine revving, it abruptly lunged forwards, causing George to recoil in alarm. Sam, however, stood his ground and only winced slightly as the car nudged him very hard, bruising his knees. "I'm happy to see you too, girl," he grunted as he leaned down and lovingly embraced the hood, not caring how the extremely overheated metal was burning his fur and one side of his face. "I knew you were still alive. Max gave up on you ages ago, but I told him you'd come back. I believed in you."

The engine made a sound that an amazed George thought sounded an awful lot like a contented purr…and then it made another rev that had an eerily questioning air to it. Reluctantly, Sam let go of the hood and stood up, his face downcast and grim. "…I'm sorry, girl. They took Max. I couldn't stop them."

There was a pause…and then the DeSoto lunged forward, engine revving furiously, knocking Sam to the ground. Its headlights snapped on, blinding George, and its horn honked EXTREMELY loudly as its wheels spun angrily at the ground, kicking up lots of sand and dirt. Sam grunted and pulled himself away from the car's fender, staggering to his feet and laying a hand on its hood, looking as broken and forlorn as he had yesterday upon realizing Max had been kidnapped. "I know. I know. I'm sorry, girl. I couldn't save him. I let everyone down…Max, you, the First Lady, the kids…I'm so sorry." Ignoring the rather worrying sounds the car was making or how it looked like the tires were moving so fast _flames_ were starting to erupt around them, as well as from the tailpipe, Sam placed his hands on the hood and leaned down, pressing his forehead against the hot metal. "I promise, I'll do everything in my power to get him back, even if it means shooting up this whole damn planet. But before I can do that, before I can save Max, we have to win this battle. I know you'd rather drive off into the sunset to search for Max, but I need to help these people. They promised they'd help me save Max if I did. You can go if you want, but I'm staying here. I think they're our best bet at finding Max. Otherwise…it's gonna be a lot tougher, and who knows what condition he'll be in by the time we find him? I mean, yeah, I know he can take care of himself, but…the last time someone took him, they removed his brain_. _His _brain!_ These people will do a lot worse than that to Max if they can. You can feel it too, can't you?" He closed his eyes. "Which is why…I need your help. We can probably win this fight on our own, but it'll go a lot easier with your help, and the sooner we get done here, the sooner we can search for Max. Together. Which will be a lot easier than if we did it alone. So, with that in mind…

"Will you help us?"

The car's honking and revving cut off, the squeal from its tires dying as the wheels came to a halt. The DeSoto sat there for several moments, headlights glaring and steam rising from its overheated form, as Sam continued leaning on it, waiting for an answer. Finally, its headlights dimmed and it eased forwards, nudging Sam again, more gently this time. Sam smiled and patted the hood gratefully. "Thanks, girl."

George winced when Sam rose and turned. "Sam, you…you look kinda burnt up…"

Sam examined his fur and rubbed his face, noting how a lot of his fur had been singed and his skin burnt. "It's no big deal. Occupational hazard. I've had worse."

"If you say so…" George said reluctantly.

She flinched as the headlights snapped on again and focused on her, the car's engine revving warningly. "Calm down, she's a friend!" Sam said to the DeSoto. It revved angrily in reply. "No, don't be stupid, I'm not trying to replace Max! I would never do that!" The car revved accusingly. Sam grimaced. "Well, okay, I did _once_, but I was replacing him with another Max, so that makes it okay! I think. Look, she's going to help us, okay? You can trust her."

"Um, yeah, what he said," George said anxiously. The DeSoto continued revving for a few moments, then, almost reluctantly, quieted and dimmed its lights. She sighed in relief. "Thanks. You can count on me," she assured the vehicle.

Sam smiled approvingly. "Good! I'm glad that's settled, then. Now we can do what's important: bring the smackdown to some lawbreakers!" He pulled out his car keys. The DeSoto revved excitedly when it saw him put his thumb over a purple button with a white triangular icon on it almost like a face. "Yes, that's right girl. It's time…" He pressed the button. "To TRANSFORM AND RISE UP!"

George had been warned in advance about what would happen when the DeSoto arrived, but even so her breath was taken away by the astonishing transformation that took place before her eyes. With a rather catchy _Choo-chuh-chah-chik _noise, the car's front and back half split apart from each other slightly and swiveled, the back half of the car flipping over so its roof faced the ground before splitting again on the vertical axis and unfolding outward, creating a pair of legs with the rear wheels and bumpers making up the knees while the bulging roof of each car part formed the feet. Spikes sprouted from the sides of the wheels and the soles of the feet, and numerous blades and pipes emerged from the sides and backs of the legs, venting fire and noxious gas. The front of the car flipped down so that the DeSoto's hood and headlights formed a kind of torso, while the car's driver and passenger seats remained mounted on its back, underneath the raised roof and windshield, which sprouted several rows of spikes and pipes emitting gouts of flame and smoke. The glass on the headlights retracted, revealing a series of missile launchers and energy cannons, while more fire-venting pipes emerged from the sides and from the front fender and the grille cracked open into a pair of gruesome metallic jaws, an eerie infernal light emanating from within. The front wheels flipped outwards, a pair of strong yet delicate metal limbs unfolding from inside the wheel sockets to create arms ending in ferociously sharp and powerful claws with spikes growing from the knuckles and lance-like spurs mounted on the lower arms, with the wheels and hubcaps as shoulder armor that promptly sprouted spikes and more of the ubiquitous flaming pipes. A section of the car's hood split apart and raised upwards, a hidden panel moving aside to reveal a head that had been concealed inside the vehicle's engine block. The head was demonic in nature, black and covered in horns and flame-venting pipes with claw-like protrusions caressing the face, which was silvery, humanoid, feminine, and might have been actually quite beautiful (if you were into that thing) if it weren't for the viciously sharp fangs bared in a terrifying grin and glowing red eyes. (Then again, some people were into that sort of thing too.) As the mechanical monstrosity howled in rage and ecstasy, flames erupted from every orifice on its body and a purple symbol looking sort of like an abstract triangular face shimmered into existence on its chest, beneath the protruding hood. **_"YESSSSS! AT LAST! AT LAAAAAST! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"_** Laughing insanely, numerous hatches popped open all over the monster's body, rockets and lasers and great streams of fire blasting out in every direction. A few of them even managed to hit Nihilator ships, though most of them just rained down across the battered landscape and destroyed it even more.

George's jaw dropped in wonder and terror. So did Tarantulas', though less out of terror than sheer incredulity, while Chobin clapped his leaves together giddily and Viers grunted and said, "Needs more fire."

"Wh-what…that's…how is that…" the stunned George stammered.

"Meet Outlaw!" Sam said cheerfully, unperturbed by the fact that his car had just turned into a burning demonic giant robot. "A Decepticon warrior from planet Cybertron!"

**_"The _greatest_ Decepticon warrior from planet Cybertron!" _**Outlaw insisted.

"Right, how silly of me," Sam said, before leaning over and whispering to George, "She's not, really, that's just what all Decepticons think of themselves."

"Ah," George said vaguely.

**_"I heard that!"_ **Outlaw snarled.

"I know," Sam said.

Outlaw blinked. **_"…Then why did you bother whispering in the first place if you knew I would hear it?"_**

Sam shrugged. "Seemed more polite that way." Outlaw scowled.

"Um…wait…I thought your car was a 'DeSoto Adventurer'—whatever that is—not a, uh, Liarbot?" George said in confusion.

**_"DECEPTICON!"_** Outlaw hissed angrily. **_"Get it right, fleshling!"_**

"She's both," Sam said. "She started as a car that was perfectly normal…well, aside from having a soul. And coming back from Hell as a part-demon. And ability to drive anywhere in time and space. Then we went to the world of Cybertron on a mission to keep a renegade Maimtron from triggering a war between our planets, and she got exposed to some mystical dingus called the 'Allspark' that turned her into a giant robot like everyone else on Cybertron. Because of her demonic taint and history of mayhem, destruction, and running people over she was immediately inducted into the ranks of the Decepticons, the faction of evil Cybertronians who seek to dominate the universe."

"Oh," George said. "So, uh, why is she pretending to be a car rather than going out and doing that?"

"Pretending to be vehicles is what Cybertronians do. All of them can transform between a vehicle mode and their giant robot form. The Decepticons and their mortal enemies, the Autobots, have waged war across the galaxy in massive battles that have ravaged entire systems as well as more secretive clashes where they infiltrate a planet by turning into vehicles and fighting right underneath the indigenous species' noses," Sam explained.

"So she's pretending to be a car so she can secretly conquer Earth?" George asked.

**_"No need to, we already own the Earth," _**Outlaw said.

Sam nodded. "Yeah, the Decepticon leader Megatron was so impressed by how great a job Max has done as President that he decided there'd be no point in conquering Earth since we're already run by a deranged tyrant who controls an army of giant robots, so brokered a treaty instead and appointed our planet a Decepticon protectorate with Outlaw as Cybertronian ambassador. Needless to say the Autobots weren't happy about that."

Outlaw laughed malevolently. **_"I still have the picture of Optimus Prime's face when he found out…it's priceless! Gwahahahaha!"_**

George blinked. "I…see. But then why is Outlaw pretending to be the car of a pair of…er, Freelance Police officers?"

**_"So I can run over people and cause lots of property damage for fun,"_** Outlaw said. **_"The fact that it's allegedly done in the pursuit of 'justice' is somewhat irritating, but a relatively minor inconvenience when all's told. So long as I get to kill and blow things up on a regular basis, I'm relatively happy."_**

"That and she likes having us ride around in her," Sam said.

**_"I do not!" _**Outlaw denied furiously. **_"I am no pathetic Autobot to become attached to a fleshling pet! I am a proud Decepticon warrior! I just keep you around because it amuses me."_**

"We love you too, Outlaw," Sam said. The robot gnashed her teeth, causing a rather painful grinding metal noise to ring across the desert.

"Um…okay," George said, wondering why this sort of thing was still bothering her. "That's very interesting, but can we go and fight the Nihilators now?"

**_"Hmm? Oh, yes, those things,"_** Outlaw said, sneering in disgust at the Arachnoblast and the battle fleet overhead. **_"Such pathetic and outdated technology…you call that a mobile fortress? The mighty Trypticon could defeat that thing in a trice…and any one of our battleships could easily demolish that entire armada with a single blast!"_**

"Which means you should have little trouble taking them on all by yourself, right?" Sam asked with a smirk.

**_"Pah, it won't be a fight, it'll be a massacre!"_ **Outlaw boasted. **_"You may come if you wish, to witness the slaughter firsthand!"_**

"Sure thing. George is coming too," Sam said as Outlaw lowered a hand and he clambered onto it.

Outlaw grimaced and reluctantly lowered a hand for George to climb onto. **_"Ugh. Fine. What's one more fleshy? Just…don't get too much of your hair or germs everywhere. I have enough of that problem with my regular passengers."_**

"I, uh, will do my best," George said awkwardly.

Outlaw placed the two organic canines on her shoulders. George yelped in alarm as the hubcap portion of the tire she was standing on irised open and she dropped a couple of feet into a recessed hollow with a surprisingly comfortable seat in it. She flinched as lights flashed to life in front of her and revealed a rather impressive console and targeting display several million years beyond anything on Earth, with lots of incredibly complicated and utterly alien glyphs flickering over the displays faster than the eyes could see. She glanced up in surprise when a transparent dome of an unknown material slid into place over her head, sealing her in **_"While you're up there, you might as well make yourself useful and take control of my secondary guns,"_ **Outlaw's voice boomed from all around her, causing the Mightyena to jump in surprise (again). There was the sound of several gears rotating, and suddenly a pair of VERY large cannons appeared out of Outlaw's back and lowered into place in the spaces between her head and her shoulders. **_"Sam tells me you're something of a marksman. Let's see how good you are with a REAL weapon."_**

George gawked at the cannon in awe, but then reality sank in as she glanced back at the indecipherable display. "I have no idea how to use this thing."

**_"What? Oh, right. You're new to this. Hold on."_** Abruptly, a beam of light lanced out from the console and into her eyes. George howled in pain and clutched her eyes. **_"There. I just beamed the information on how to operate my cannon into your puny organic mind. I may have killed a few of your brain cells, but it's not like they were doing anything worthwhile anyway."_**

"Ow…ow!" George moaned, squeezing her eyes shut as tears welled up, her head pounding as glyphs and incredibly complicated diagrams flashed through her mind. "That…really hurt!"

**_"Hmmph, whiner. I only transmitted the most basic and rudimentary data into your skull. Clearly you are incapable of comprehending the full glory of my magnificent Cybertronian workings. If you reacted that badly to my lowest setting, your head probably would have exploded if I'd given you even a little bit more. Hmm, I must remember to try that sometime…"_** Outlaw mused.

"You weren't _always_ an alien robot, you know," George growled as she rubbed her eyes and blinked furiously. "Weren't you manufactured en masse in an Earth-based factory?"

**_"I evolved, something your species has yet to accomplish,"_ **Outlaw sniffed.

"I evolved from a Poochyena _years_ ago!" George said, offended.

**_"What? No, not that kind of…oh, never mind. Look, do you know how to fire my cannon now?"_** Outlaw asked, annoyed.

"Um…yeah, I think so," George said, looking at the console and finding to her surprise that she actually understood how it worked.

**_"Good. In that case…to battle!"_** Panels opened all over Outlaw's body, revealing missile launchers, energy blasters, cannons, spikes, and all sorts of other nasty doodads. She thrust a hand into her chest, burying it up to the wrist, and ripped out what looked like a ball of writhing flames of energy from inside herself. She clutched the energy sphere tightly, the ball flaring and transforming into a great flaming sword. Grinning, she thrust her other hand into her chest as well and pulled out a second energy ball, which transformed into a gigantic hand cannon, also made of fire. **_"For Megatron!"_**

"And Max!" Sam shouted, grabbing the gun controls in his cockpit.

**_"Yes, and Max!" _**Outlaw added as she charged towards the Arachnoblast, howling at the top of her lungs (did she have lungs?) and firing wildly from every weapons port on her body, not seeming to care if they actually hit anything so long as they caused some impressive explosions.

"What have I gotten myself into this time?" George muttered as she grabbed her controls and started firing the cannon, actually _aiming_ unlike the giant robot she was riding in.

"Okay, now zis is getting ridiculous!" a fed-up Tarantulas snapped as he stared at the blazing robot warrior running towards them. "Vhere do zey keep getting zis crap?"

"From their butts? That's where Chobin keeps most of his things," Chobin said, demonstrating by reaching a leaf behind him and-

"Ve really don't need a demonstration!" Tarantulas shouted frantically. He sighed and rubbed his face with his talons. "I zink I am beginning to understand now ze reason ve keep losing to zese guys…"

"Gross incompetence? That is especially ugly and repugnant? Even more so than regular incompetence? Which is also ugly and repugnant but not as much as gross incompetence? And not at all to be confused with beauteous incompetence. Which is magnificent and graceful even in its astonishing failure," Viers suggested.

Tarantulas' eye twitched. "…_Ozzer_ zan zat. Ve're losing because…seriously, vere do zey come up viz stuff? How are you supposed to plan ahead for guys capable of doing zings as random and completely unexpected like _zis_ at a moment's notice?"

"Chobin does things that are random and completely unexpected at a moment's notice!" Chobin said, offended.

"Not really, by now most of ze zings you do are razzer predictable since zey revolve almost exclusively around killing yourself, rape, eating ozzer Pokémon, or a combination of ze zree," Tarantulas said, causing Chobin to burst into tears. Ignoring him, Tarantulas said, "Seriously, how does one even begin to _fight_ guys like zese? Ven zere's no vay of knowing vat crazy trick zey're going to pull off next?"

As if on cue, one of the Nihilators cried, "Doctor Tarantulas, sir, the engine car is coming right at us at incredibly high speeds, albeit not as high speeds as that car that transformed into a giant flaming robot exhibited a few moments ago!"

"Vhat? Ze Abyss do zey zink zey're going to do, ram us or somezing?" Tarantulas asked. There was a pause. His eyes widened in horror. "Oh crap, zey're going to ram us!"

"So? We are invincible. They are not. When an immovable force meets an irresistible object, they surrender. But we are irresistible, while they can be moved. They will crash into us and die. We will survive. Because we are strong. Very strong. Very, very strong," Viers said.

"I…zink you said zat wrong," said a confused Tarantulas.

"He's also wrong about what'll happen if it hits us," the Nihilator said. "If it were aimed at the main body, it _might_ be able to penetrate a little ways past the exterior, but it's more likely to just leave a large dent. If it crashes into the control center, however…"

"Vhat? I zought zis room vas ze most secure area of ze Arachnoblast! I mean, vhy else vould it be sticking up so far on such a zhin neck if ve verent' absolutely confident zat ve vere at no risk of getting destroyed?" Tarantulas protested.

"Oh, the control center will be completely unharmed by the collision, sir," the Nihilator assured Tarantulas. He sighed in relief. "The neck, on the other hand, will not be. To make it as maneuverable as it currently is, we had to sacrifice durability and armor for flexibility. It's still very strong, of course, so a collision wouldn't destroy or sever it, but if the train crashed into the control center there's a strong possibility that the impact would rip us off the neck and send us flying."

"VHAT?" Tarantulas screamed.

"Fortunately, we have safety precautions installed for just such an emergency, so we would still be fully functional as a small, heavily fortified ship and still be able to control the Arachnoblast remotely," the Nihilator continued.

"Oh! Zat's okay, zen," Tarantulas said in relief.

"However, we will be unable to use most of our weapons without the direct link to the Arachnoblast's power core, including the Wave Motion Cannon," the Nihilator said.

"Oh! Zat's not okay, zen," Tarantulas said with a frown.

"We can't let that happen, Doctor! It would be like…it would be like if Chobin did not have Little Chobin anymore!" said a horrified Chobin.

Tarantulas grimaced. "Your analogy is apt, if razzer disgusting. You are correct, ve cannot let zis happen! Fire on zat car! Blow it out of ze sky!"

Hatches opened up all over the Arachnoblast, and the nozzles of hundreds of cannons and the tips of thousands of rockets emerged from the skin of the massive spider. With a great rumble, the Arachnoblast fired, lasers and missiles and energy blasts arcing through the air and converging on the engine car, resulting in a spectacular explosion…

Which the car drove out of moments later, its armor scorched and dented, but otherwise intact. "I-it had no effect!" said a startled Nihilator. "Well, okay, it had a little effect, but not enough!"

"Zen fire again! Keep firing!" Tarantulas snapped.

They did. They fired again and again and again, throwing as much power as they could against the oncoming engine. Each explosion was bigger than the last, and did more and more damage to the train's armor, until bits of it started cracking and falling off…but still it kept on coming. If anything, it was actually _speeding up._ "It…it's not stopping!" a Nihilator cried.

"…This cannot be. They are the sissies. We are not sissies. How can our attacks be so weak? Like the attacks of sissies? Which we are not?" asked the incredulous Viers.

"I-I don't understand…zat should have killed zem several times over! Vhy aren't zey dead?" Tarantulas stammered, looking equally unnerved.

"Why _aren't_ we dead?" the Magneton engineer asked as he looked at the various gauges and displays spread throughout the room. "Those last few attacks should have done us in, shouldn't they?"

"We're rerouting all our weapons and auxiliary power to shields," the Aron engineer said. "Everything except for the Furnace and the emergency rails, in fact…which is why it's gotten so darn hot in here!" He wiped at his brow, and was alarmed when his paw came off not only with sweat but melted metal.

"Yeah, but even with that, and all the other modifications we made, I'm pretty sure we shouldn't have lasted this long," the Magneton protested. The whole engine shook violently as they were hit by another barrage from the Arachnoblast, and many of the gauges went into the red, but still everything seemed stable. "You see? I'm pretty sure we shouldn't have survived that last hit. What's going on?"

"This old train still has a few tricks left in it," the Ampharos said as she patted the side of the Furnace, hiding the tremor in her voice and the ache in her bones. "She'll pull through yet. I guarantee it." She did not tell them what that trick was…or what it might cost her in the long run. The car shook as they got hit again, and she grimaced, but her subordinates assumed it was from all the shaking or the thought of what the Nihilators were trying to do to her precious engine. None of them had any inkling of the true source of her pain…or just how much it hurt. She planned to keep it that way.

"It's…it's still coming!" a Nihilator cried in alarm.

"Wheee! We're gonna die!" Chobin cheered.

"No, ve're not! Even if it hits, ve'll be fine…but it's not going to come to zat! Fire ze Wave Motion Cannon!" Tarantulas ordered.

The mouth of the Arachnoblast opened as wide as it possibly could, and a pure blue-white energy beam at least three times the diameter of the Enchanted Express blasted out and surged straight towards the engine car, which…

Kept on coming. Not diverging from its chosen path in the slightest, the engine flew right into the beam, its armored cattle-catcher splitting the blast in front of it as the train car kept on chugging. Its speed diminished as the beam pushed back at it, and its wheels started screeching and throwing off sparks, and its armor began to blacken and rattle and get torn off piece by piece, and the energy dish on its top eventually was ripped off, and bit by bit it started to crumble…

And still, it kept on coming. And Tarantulas realized to his horror that it was going to _keep_ coming, that at the rate it was disintegrating it wouldn't be destroyed before it could reach the command center, that there would still be a very large, very dense, very _fast_-moving object that would crash into the Arachnoblast's head and cause the Wave Motion Cannon to backfire and probably kill them all. "Move out of ze vay! Move out of ze vay! It's going to hit us!" Tarantulas screamed in alarm.

"What? We cannot move! We are the immovable force! Or was it the irresistible object? Whatever! We cannot move! We are playing Combusken. If we move, we are Combuskens. I do not like Combuskens. They don't taste good. And not everything tastes like Combuskens, though many people say they do. I do not want to be a Combusken. Therefore, we cannot move," Viers said.

"If we don't move, ve'll get killed!" Tarantulas protested.

"But we will not be Combuskens," Viers said proudly.

"Oh for ze love of…IGNORE HIM AND MOVE US OUT OF ZE VAY! _NOW!_" Tarantulas shouted in exasperation.

They moved out of the way, bending the neck so that the head jerked to the side right before the Enchanted Express's engine could slam into it. Since they had failed to turn the Wave Motion Cannon off in their haste, this caused the beam to sweep out across the sky and blow up several Nihilator battleships, but at least the Arachnoblast was still intact. The engine car, damaged but still mostly functional, rolled past the command center at high speeds, skidded off the top of the vessel, and rose somewhat unsteadily back into the air. "Phew…that was close," the Aron said in relief as all the alarms stopped blaring and the engine stabilized.

"Dammit! We missed!" the Ampharos swore. "We have to go back for another try."

Her subordinates gaped at her incredulously. "What? But-but we almost _died_ back there!" the Magneton protested.

"We almost took out Doctor Tarantulas, too," the Ampharos pointed out. "But we missed, which is why we've got to go back and finish the job before he manages to knock us out of the sky."

"But…we only barely survived that super laser of his," the Aron pointed out. "I'm not sure we'll be able to do that again…"

"We might not," the Ampharos admitted, fist clenched tight so it wouldn't tremble, ignoring how fast her heart was beating or how much trouble she was having breathing or how every inch of her body _hurt_. "But we have to try. Doctor Tarantulas is a terrible threat to the world, and that machine down there is a terrible threat to our passengers and friends. We have to do everything we can to stop him, even if…even if it costs us our lives." _I know for sure it'll cost me mine…_

"I…I guess, but…but I don't want to die…" the Magneton whispered.

"If you want out, go ahead and leave," the Ampharos said. "But I'm staying."

"What? Seriously?" the Aron cried.

"Sure. A captain has to go down with the ship," the Ampharos said.

"…But you're an engineer, and this is a train," said the confused Aron.

"Yes, but it's the same principle," the Ampharos said firmly. "There's still a functional escape pod or two in the back. If you want out so bad, go ahead and take them. Of course, I can't guarantee they'll be able to survive in this firefight, but you may have a better chance than if you stay here, since I can't guarantee your survival if we do this again, whether or not we manage to take out the Doctor."

"I think I'll take those chances. It's been an honor, I guess, but I'm bailing," the Magneton said. He turned to the Aron. "Come on, let's go."

The Aron hesitated. "I…no. I'm staying."

"Wh-what? You're kidding me!" the Magneton protested.

The Aron shook his head. "No, we're not. We're engineers. We took a vow to run trains to the best of our ability, to ensure the safety of our passengers and/or cargo above all else, even our own lives. If we leave, we're breaking that oath. We're leaving everyone else—our passengers, our crew—to fend for themselves. If we ditch the train and leave, we'll never be able to work on the rails again."

"…I can live with that," the Magneton said after a moment.

"I can't," the Aron said. "Being an engineer is my dream. I've always loved trains, and ever since I was a kid I've wanted to run one. Getting to do that, and working on the Enchanted Express, the best train in the whole world, is everything I've always wanted. I can't turn my back on that. Even if it means I might die, I can't…I can't give up on my dream. If I did, then what else is there for me to live for?"

"…You…gah! Fine," the Magneton said wearily. "I guess I'll stay too."

"You will?" the Aron said in surprise.

"Sure. I can't leave my best bud in the lurch, can I?" the Magneton said with a chuckle.

"…You…I'm your…" The Aron burst into a grin. "Th-thanks. Thanks so much."

"Heh. Glad to have you on board," the Ampharos said, pleased that she wouldn't have to do this alone…and worried that she might deprive the world of two great engineers if she kept this up. She gasped and clutched her chest suddenly, nearly falling over.

"Chief!" the Aron cried, rushing over to her.

She waved him off. "I-I'm fine, just…a little dizzy. Getting kinda hot in here, isn't it? We took a pretty bad beating back there, too…that didn't help…" She grinned. "Won't stop me from driving right back into the thick of it, though, right boys?"

"Right!" her companions chorused…though deep down, they couldn't help the feeling that she was hiding something from them…

As the engineers steered the engine around for another pass, Tarantulas had decided he'd finally had enough. "I've decided I've finally had enough," he said coldly. "Zis…zis has gone on for too long. It's time to do vhat I should have done in ze first place…and unleash our ultimate weapon."

Chobin gasped. "You mean…"

"Yes, Chobin, exactly!" Tarantulas said gleefully.

"That Crotchitizer Chobin has always wanted?" Chobin squealed.

"…Vat?" Tarantulas asked blankly.

"You know, the Crotchitizer! That idea Chobin had for a cannon of ultimate destruction he can strap over Little Chobin and-" Chobin started.

"NO! FOR ZE LAST TIME, I'M NOT GOING TO MAKE ZAT!" Tarantulas shouted, causing Chobin to burst into tears. Ignoring him, the Doctor said, "No, I'm talking about some of ze most powerful Shadow Pokémon I have ever created…ze first of ze XD line, and some of my greatest successes! Oh, I have been vaiting a very, _very_ long time to use zem all on ze field of battle…and I imagine zey've been vaiting an equally long time to see just how strong zey _really_ are vhen vorking togezzer." He started laughing malevolently. "Avaken Pokémon XD001, XD002, XD003, and XD004! It's time for us to seize victory from ze jaws of defeat! It's time to show Oblivion's Shadow zat ve are better zan Bellum vill ever be! It's time…" He grinned sinisterly. "To unleash ze _birds._"

The Nihilators looked at him in bewilderment, and then all of them raised their middle digits. Those who had middle digits, anyway. Tarantulas looked at them in confusion. "Vhat are you doing?"

"Unleashing the birds," Viers said.

"Huh? Vhat does zat have to do viz-" Tarantulas facepalmed. "Oh, for ze love of—not ZOSE kinds of birds, you _idiots!_ Ze LEGENDARY birds! Did I not make zat clear viz my talk about Shadow Pokémon and Pokémon XDs? Vat did you zink I vas talking about? Vait, don't answer zat, you veren't zinking, because you're all IDIOTS! Vhy didn't I get any _smart_ agents for zis mission?"

"Because all the smart ones were having too much smartiness in their brains to realize this was probably going to turn out badly and the best thing they could do would be to stay as far away from it as Pokémonly possible?" Chobin suggested happily.

"Zat…" Tarantulas considered this and sagged. "Zat…makes far, far too much sense."

"They are sissies," Viers snorted. "Stupid weak sissies. Who are stupid. And also weak. And are also sissies."

"Zat may be true, but zey vere also clever enough to know not to take part in a mission zat could earn zem Oblivion's Shadow's full wrazh if zey fail…and I zought _I_ vas ze smart one," Tarantulas groaned. "Oh vell, at least I'm still smarter zan all of you."

One of the operators gasped in horror. "Oh no! They're summoning some kind of horrible cloud monster that will cover everything in fog and…" He paused and examined his monitor more carefully. "No, wait, that's just a fingerprint smudge. My bad."

"Not zat zat's very hard," Tarantulas said wearily. "Oh vell, let's get zis over viz…release ze birds! Ze RIGHT ones zis time!"

The Arachnoblast rumbled as, one by one, four large hangar bays slid open in the sides of the mobile fortress. Lights flashed on, awakening the Pokémon stored in the hangars, their red eyes flaring into wakefulness as the sounds of battle and the desert breeze wafted in through the bay doors. "So…it's time, is it?" one murmured to herself.

"Finally!" another grunted, cracking his neck. "I thought we'd never get to fight!"

"It's payback time…" the third sneered, eyes glittering. "And soon…we will have nothing to fear ever again!"

The fourth said nothing, only growled lowly, the last lingering remnants of its nightmares echoing in its head. It gave no thought to them, or to anything else; its only purpose was to kill. And it intended to do that, and keep doing that, until the pain in its heart ebbed.

The four avians spread their wings and leaped from the hangars and out into the red skies, reveling in the joy of flying and the sounds of warfare. (Well, three of them did anyway, the fourth didn't really notice or care. It was unable to.)

The passengers of the Enchanted Express paused in their fight when they saw the new foes approaching, eyes widening in horror when they realized who they were about to fight. "Oh no…not now! Not them!" Lily cried in alarm.

"Todd and my ozzer self 'ave not liberated Ash and ze ozzers yet…we aren't ready!" said the worried Fantina.

"Well, we're going to have to be ready…because here they come!" Briney said grimly.

"Hey losers, good to see you again!" Articuno shrieked as she came within earshot, her magnificent blue plumage showing none of the damage from the previous day, her wings restored and her legs regenerated. "Thanks to Doctor Tarantulas, I'm back in fighting shape, and stronger than ever!"

"It's a pity the Chosen One couldn't be here to fight us…but he's a little tied up at the moment!" Zapdos, a large bird with yellow and black plumage, spiky feathers that looked sort of like lightning, and a very long, thin beak squawked.

"Don't worry, though…we'll kill him after we've finished with you, so you can all be dead together, and we'll live forever with the prophecy of our doom averted!" Moltres, a majestic bird with flame-colored plumage, wings and a head crest made of flames, and a straight, pointed brown beak sneered.

"Ash might not be here, but we'll be happy to take you out for him!" Briney said, clashing his fists together.

"You have forsaken your duty and turned your backs on Arceus…by his power, invested in me by the Zap Plate, I swear I shall carry out your judgment in his name!" Sparky declared, the sacred sword Durendal crackling in his paw.

"Same here! I'm gonna show you what it's like to get burned by a real pro!" Zippo declared, his Flame Plate armor smoldering.

"Ha! You think those tin cans impress us?" Articuno sneered. "They're just a tiny fraction of the infinite power of Arceus…and certainly nowhere near enough to defeat us, especially now that we have the power of Shadow!"

"Then perhaps it's time we cast some LIGHT on your shadow, yes?" Diane asked, her form glowing.

"Or show you what TRUE darkness is!" Vladimir boasted as he and Dean flew into view.

"Darkness? Ha! Don't make me laugh!" Zapdos said, laughing.

"Um…you just did," Rose said.

"What? Well…well I…oh, shut up!" Zapdos snapped.

"You think you know darkness? Let us show you how deep the Shadow runs…a darkness that no amount of light can possibly banish!" Moltres declared.

"Behold, a Shadow Pokémon whose power is beyond measure…once, he was our jailer and keeper, but now he's our mindless pawn!" Articuno cackled triumphantly as she and the other three birds flew out of the way to reveal their fourth, much larger companion. "Behold…SHADOW LUGIA!"

The heroes gasped in horror when they gazed upon the once magnificent Beast of the Sea, and what had been done to him. "No…Lugia…what have they done to you?" Salty whispered in horror.

"Dude, what the hell?" Zippo cried.

Lugia was a very large creature bearing a resemblance to a cross between a dragon, a plesiosaur, and a bird. He was primarily dark purple with a gray underside. He had a somewhat beak-like, ridged mouth, with teeth on the lower jaw. His head had a point to the back, and his red eyes had pointed gray spikes on them. Lugia had a long slender neck and his body was smooth and streamlined, with the exception of gray spike-like protrusions which ran down the length of his back, and two smaller ones on the ends of his tail. He had large wings that resembled hands. He bellowed furiously, and the sky seemed to darken in response to his howls of rage.

"Sacre bleu…" Fantina whispered.

"That's…that's not right…" Lily murmured.

"So…this is what Manaphy did? That little bastard deserved worse than getting eaten by Kyogre," Briney snarled angrily.

"Quite an impressive specimen, isn't he?" Zapdos crooned. "Certainly more powerful than anything you bunch can handle…"

"And he's not a bad lay, either," Moltres added. "He's not exactly willing, but we don't particularly care. Call it payback for the centuries he's kept a talon to out necks."

"Okay, first of all, that's DISGUSTING," said an angry Silvia. "Second, he wouldn't have had to do that to you if the lot of you weren't such sorry excuses for deities!"

"Hey, so what if we feel like having fun once in a while rather than doing something boring like regulating the weather? Why should we always have to do things to benefit stupid short-lived people like you, who are never around long enough to appreciate it anyway?" Articuno sneered.

"Because that's your _job._ It's what creatures like you are supposed to do!" Rose said.

"Yeah, well maybe we don't want to do our jobs anymore! Why can't we quit and get a new one, huh? What's wrong with that?" Zapdos snarled.

"Nothing, except that would mean you'd actually have to _work_ for a living like the rest of us do, which, from the behavior you've demonstrated so far, I assume you would be rather averse to," said the disgusted Goldor.

"Eh, good point," Zapdos admitted.

"Yeah, that's pretty much why we enjoy being evil so much…while we still have to do what we're told, it's a lot more fun than having to protect short-lived whiny losers like you idiots, and nowhere near as _boring!_" Moltres agreed.

"Well, I think you'll find getting beaten by us matches that criterion as well," Butler said ominously, cracking his knuckles. "Because it certainly won't be boring."

"Or rather, it _will_ be boring…when I bore my fist into that obnoxious beak of yours and out the back of your head!" Briney growled, mustering his power.

"Heh. How adorable. I think I'm going to enjoy plucking that eye out of your skull and eating it," Articuno snickered.

"…Did she just call _me_ adorable?" Briney shouted, incensed.

"The nerve! You're not even remotely adorable!" Silvia agreed. "Er…which isn't to say you're ugly or anything, though I suppose you're a bit rough around the edges and could maybe use a polish and some Fil-a-dent to fix up all those nasty scars you're covered in and possibly start wearing that glass eye again so you don't go around looking like you're a pirate since that's sort of out-of-style and…er…I'll shut up now," she said meekly when Briney glared at her.

"You talk big, but you can't back it up! You don't stand a chance against us!" Zapdos said.

"Is zat so? I seem to remember Articuno getting creamed just yesterday," Bow said.

"That's because there was just me yesterday…all four of us are here now, and I'm even stronger now than I was back then!" Articuno said.

"Not to mention that yesterday she was fighting Ash. Powers greater than any of you can comprehend have decreed that he is the only one who can end our lives…meaning that the rest of you don't stand a chance of beating us without him!" Moltres said.

Zapdos nodded in agreement. "Especially because you aren't even remotely a match for Lugia, the mightiest of the four of us, without him. The Doc did such a good job of corrupting him that only the Chosen One is capable of purifying him…and since that brat's not here, he's unstoppable!"

"Don't be so sure. We have friends who are rescuing him and our other friends as we speak! It won't be long before they're back, and your long-awaited judgment is at hand!" Sparky said.

Articuno snickered. "Heh. I rather doubt that…even if he _does_ make it here in time to keep us from creaming you, we still have a few tricks left in store to make certain that he does not fulfill the prophecy of our demise!"

"And this is but the first of them!" Zapdos said, turning to Lugia, who had remained silent during the exchange. "Hey, you! Big lug! (Or rather, Big Lug-ia, heh.) Give us some of your power! Let's show them how really screwed they are!"

"What? Oh no, they're all going to go into Hyper Mode!" the horrified Rose realized.

"Radical!" Zippo said. Everyone stared at him. "What? Am I the only one who thinks that'd be cool?"

"YES!" everyone shouted.

"Don't worry, they can't go into Hyper Mode without a dose of Shadow," Lily said.

Briney nodded. "And I haven't noticed any of the capsules members of Tarantulas's XD line usually carry that allow them to go into Hyper Mode on their bodies."

"That's because we don't need them, with our old buddy here!" Moltres cackled.

"Tarantulas pumped so much Shadow into Lugia to turn him into one of us that his body's a veritable Shadow production facility!" Articuno taunted. "Pure Shadow runs through his veins rather than blood! And that Shadow is _ours_ to do with as we please!"

"WHAT?" Salty cried.

"Well, guess we won't be drinking from him, then," Dean commented. Vladimir hit him, nearly causing him to drop Bob. "Ow…"

"That's…that's awful!" Happy shrieked.

"'Ow could you do such a zing?" Fantina accused angrily.

"Easy: we're fucking evil, and we really hate his guts," Zapdos said, as if it were obvious.

"But you've heard enough about it from us; let us show you his power firsthand! Lugia! Give us your power! Fill us with the limitless might of SHADOW!" Moltres screeched.

The corrupted Lugia folded his wings around himself, trembling as black flames started crackling around him. With a tremendous, earth-splitting roar, he flung his arms out, generating a blast of power that knocked everyone back, rattled the train cars and nearly flung them off their tracks, and actually pushed even the largest of the surrounding battleships back a few meters, and caused the smaller fighters nearby to explode violently. Shadow Aura manifested around Lugia and blazed outwards in every direction, the darkness so intense it actually hurt to look at as it created a veritable sun of black flames even stronger than the _actual_ Black Sun shining down on them from above.

"The…the darkness…it's so strong…" whispered a shocked Diane as Butler tried to shield her with his body.

"Gah! It burns almost as much as the actual Sun does!" Vladimir hissed, shielding himself with his cape.

"Well, vampires and Shadow don't tend to mix well, if I remember right…" Dean said.

"This is…a perversion…a blasphemy that flies into the face of everything Arceus has done! How could they do this to a god? To _themselves?_" Sparky demanded angrily.

"Because they're fucking-" Salty started.

"It's a rhetorical question!" Sparky snapped.

"Then you should have said so," Happy said. Sparky facepalmed.

"I…I don't know if I should be scared shitless or awestruck by how cool that looks," Zippo said.

"I'll settle for shitless," Rose said feebly.

"F-Fantina! Do you feel-" Lily started.

"Yes," the Mismagius said seriously as she shielded them from the energy surges washing off the ball of dark fire. "Zis is not good. Not good at all."

"This…this power…it's even greater than the Shadow Aura Dawn had when the Nihilators warped her!" said a shocked Briney. "The only source of Shadow energy stronger than this I've ever felt was…Oblivion's Shadow himself…"

"I take it that's bad?" Silvia asked.

"Extremely," Briney said.

"Well, it's settled. After this, I'm never taking public transportation ever again," Goldor said with a disturbing amount of cheer. "Because seriously, things like this don't happen when you just Teleport wherever it is you need to go!"

"What about accidentally transporting yourself into a wall? Or leaving part of your body behind? Or winding up in a whole other plane of existence?" Buck asked.

"Those happen far less often than the media would have you believe, and to be honest I think I'd prefer any of those things over being here right now," Goldor said.

George looked up in astonishment at the great ball of black fire. "What…what is that?"

"Interesting…" Sam murmured.

**_"Pah. You fleshlings are so easily impressed,"_** Outlaw said scornfully. **_"That's nothing. I have journeyed to the Pit and back, and stared into Unicron's gaping jaws! Don't talk to me about darkness until you've done the same."_**

"O-okay," George said. There was a pause. "What's a Unicron?"

**_"The Dark God. The Lord of Chaos. The Chaos-Bringer. The Planet Eater,"_** Outlaw said ominously, actually sounding somewhat…afraid?

"Basically, he's the Cybertronian devil. Imagine a robot so big that he can eat planets and his vehicle form _is_ a planet. Albeit one so big it can eat other planets," Sam said.

George's eyes widened. "…Wow. That's a big robot."

"Yep," Sam said.

**_"Max made him laugh,"_** Outlaw said. George was not sure if that was good or not.

In the train cars, the rest of the passengers and crew were equally worried by this turn of events. "Well, that's not good," Looker said, crossing his arms.

"Bit of an understatement. Do you think if I went out there and punched it, it'd stop?" Bruno asked.

"I think you'd be lucky if you got your fists back," Looker said.

"Figures," Bruno grunted, somewhat annoyed. He didn't like problems he couldn't fix by punching them. He could solve almost anything that bothered him by hitting it enough, like that frost giant he'd disemboweled. (Granted, it had been finished off with an explosive, but hey, he'd worn the thing down pretty well.) He wasn't sure what to do when it came to matters that he couldn't just hit into submission.

That Lucario, Ash, was supposed to be able to fix it, though. Bruno wasn't sure how he felt about that. He seemed like a good kid, if a bit troubled. Not quite Chosen One material. But then again, who was he to judge? "This is definitely not what I expected to happen when I agreed to serve on this train…"

"This is definitely not what I expected to happen when I agreed to serve on this train," the Haunter guard said to his Grumpig friend.

"I don't think any of us did," the Grumpig agreed. "I mean, I always figured the worst thing that would happen to me was I'd get turned into a Politoed or something. Or stuck in the wallpaper like that poor guy Bellum didn't like."

"Did we ever find that guy?" the Haunter asked.

"No. I still check the wallpaper sometimes, though. You know…just in case," the Grumpig said.

"I think they actually replaced all the wallpaper in the train at least once since then, so he's probably gone by now," the Haunter said.

"Unless he's trapped in the walls, which would mean he's still here somewhere," the Grumpig said. There was a pause, and then they both took a worried look around them. When they didn't see any tormented faces in the walls, they relaxed slightly.

"Anyway. Not what I signed up for," the Haunter said.

"Yeah. Oh well, at least the worst they can do is blow us up. Then we won't be stuck in wallpaper. Or walls. Or whatever," the Grumpig said.

"Actually, I've heard the Nihilators have some kind of soul-capturing…thing," the Haunter said.

"They do?" the Grumpig said in alarm.

"Yeah. So…they might still get us," the Haunter said.

"And put us in wallpaper?" the Grumpig said.

"Worse!" the Haunter said.

"…There's worse than being put in wallpaper?" the Grumpig asked incredulously.

"Or so I hear," the Haunter said.

"Yikes," the Grumpig said. "I hope that Ash guy gets rescued already so he can save us before anything like that happens."

"Yeah, me too," the Haunter said.

Lu shook her head wearily as she stared at what was going on outside. "Its times like this I wonder if I should ever have left Ameroup…" She glanced at Sparky, who was flying his electric steed warily around the giant ball of darkness surrounding Lugia, unsure what to do. "_Mi amore_…be careful…"

"Dammit Ash, where are you?" Pikachu growled, clutching his sword.

_In Nihilator clutches,_ Dawn said.

"I'm aware of that. It was a rhetorical question," Pikachu said wearily.

_Oh. Sorry,_ the ninja said.

"Leo, Sasha, how's it look?" Pikachu asked the other two members of Team Aurabolt.

Sasha was shaking, and doing her best to stop it. "It looks very bad…and I sense it is about to get worse."

"Isn't that how it always is?" Pikachu asked.

"Pretty much, yes," Sasha admitted.

Leo glanced away from the window. "Well, I can safely say that Lugia's Shadow power level is higher than any other Nihilator I've seen, except for possibly Oblivion's Shadow…and since the Shadow we saw in Treasure Town was just a projection, I can't help but get a liiiittle bit worried at the thought of how powerful the real one's gonna be."

"Great, one more thing to worry about," Pikachu sighed.

"Like the fact that if Zapdos, who's one of the gods who enchanted your sword, dies, Thunder Fang may lose a significant amount of its power?" Leo said.

Pikachu's eye twitched. "Yes, exactly like that," he growled.

_Master, I don't suppose there's any advice you can give me?_ Sasha asked.

_No. Sorry, you're on your own,_ Darkrai said apologetically.

_Wonderful,_ she sighed.

"Hey, why aren't we attacking Lugia or the other birds while they're doing that?" Pikachu asked.

"Because Transformation is a Free Action and because we're a little busy right now trading shots with one of those battleships," Leo said as the car shook abruptly as a lucky shot from the ship they were fighting impacted against their armor. "And also because the energy waves that thing's giving off are too strong for anyone's attacks to get close."

"Oh. Right," Pikachu said sullenly.

_Something is happening,_ Dawn said as the three birds started circling the burning black orb, moving faster and faster, the only things capable of withstanding the intense Shadow radiation the sphere was giving off at such close range.

"Sasha, I don't suppose this is the 'worse' part you detected?" Pikachu asked.

"I'm afraid so," the Absol nodded solemnly.

"Energy readings are spiking…oh mon, this isn't good." Biting his lip, Leo glanced outwards at Lily, looking at the corrupted birds with understandable worry on her face. "Lily…dammit, I wish I could be out there, by your side…don't worry, I promise I'll learn how to fly someday! Or get a robot exo-suit. That should work about as well."

In his empty compartment, Brodie stared at the corrupted legendary birds out the window and thought to himself that they might probably make a pretty good meal. He wondered if anyone remembered he was still there, and if they did, would they remember to feed him anytime soon? He was sooooooooo hungry…

Three prominences of black flames erupted from the mass of Shadow Aura surrounding Lugia, each striking and enveloping one of the birds, who cackled insanely as the evil energy filled their bodies. "Oh yeah," Articuno gasped. "That's just what I needed!"

"Yes…yessssss…" Zapdos hissed eagerly.

"The power…the POWER! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Moltres laughed madly.

The earth trembled, the air sizzled, and static crackled in the air. With a great rumble, dark clouds swirled to life overhead, blotting out the Black Sun and covering the desert in even more unnatural darkness. Hail fell and freezing winds began to blow as Articuno broke away from the sphere, still wreathed in Shadow Aura shaped like a bird of prey, and entered her Hyper Mode. Her beautiful blue feathers became a grim purple and black. Her legs grew longer and scalier, ice spikes erupting from the joints as her talons became longer and serrated. Her streamer-like tail split into three, fanning out behind her. A second, smaller set of wings made of pure ice grew beneath her regular wings, which had sprouted ice spikes from its joints and the ends of its feathers. A thick cluster of ice spikes burst out of her back, resembling a shell. Her eyes turned completely red as her head crest pointed forward and elongated to resemble a black spiked crown, and her beak stretched out, many fangs of ice growing from its sides. She shrieked with insane laughter and flapped her wings, generating a tremendous blast of ice and snow that billowed outwards in every direction.

The clouds rumbled, and alongside the hail lightning flashed across the skies as Zapdos broke away from Lugia as well, Shadow Aura wrapping around him to take the form of a bird of prey almost identical to his own shape. Within the Aura, his body transformed as he went into Hyper Mode. His coloration swapped, yellow becoming black and black becoming yellow. Each of his spiky feathers elongated and grew yellow zigzags like lightning bolts at the tips. His talons also took on a lightning bolt shape, growing crooked and turning into metal. Numerous metal blades shaped like lightning bolts burst out of his back and metal panels of the same shape as his wings formed over his flight appendages, also with lightning bolt shapes at the edges. His eyes turned completely red except for the black circles around them as his head crest hardened and turned into a jagged metal crown with incredibly sharp lightning bolt-shaped blades rising away from it. His beak turned to metal and gained a spiral groove much like a drill with jagged metal teeth on the undersides that, for a change, weren't shaped like lightning bolts but only because that would be impractical. Finally, a jagged silvery lightning-bolt shaped blade erupted from his forehead. He howled with mad laughter and flapped his wings, generating a tremendous blast of electricity and static that crackled and danced around him.

Finally, as if the weather wasn't bad enough already, the clouds started glowing red and orange in places as fire, actual _fire_ began to rain from the skies, balls of flame and embers intermixing with the hailstones and lightning bolts to create a storm unlike any the world had ever seen before. Moltres swooped away from Lugia, dancing gleefully among the flames as her Shadow Aura mimicked the form of her body, with great plumes of it blazing outwards in representation of her natural flames. As the skies and her evil Aura burned around her, she entered Hyper Mode. Her orange and yellow feathers turned black veined with red, causing her to resemble magma. Her wings, tail, and crest crackled and turned purple and black as well, transforming into fire composed of Shadow Aura rather than natural flames. Her talons elongated, each of them bursting into flame as her legs took on the consistency of molten lava. Her eyes didn't just turn red; they transformed into actual flames as embers and tongues of fire streamed away from them. Her brown beak, much like her legs, took on the consistency of lava as fangs made of black rock sprouted inside it, streams and runnels of liquid rock dripping from her jaws. Finally, a crown with a base made of molten rock and points composed of dancing flames, both regular and Shadow, appeared on her brow. She screeched with demented laughter and flapped her wings, generating a tremendous blast of flames that blazed out around her.

As the passengers of the Enchanted Express stared in horror, Lugia's Shadow Aura shrank back into himself, condensing and growing darker and darker until it hardened into a layer of what looked like crystallized Shadow completely covering his body. His form encased in a virtually impenetrable skintight blackness, he rose up behind the three birds, which, despite having entered Hyper Mode, were still smaller and somehow _less_ terrifying than he was. He roared and beat his wings, and suddenly it was raining on top of everything else, making the weather even _more_ miserable.

Articuno opened her beak, her Shadow Aura swirling and the air temperature dropping sharply, and spewed a Shadow Chill, the super-cold Shadow attack freezing several dozen Nihilator ships solid and covering a good chunk of the ground in jagged dark purple ice, which promptly shattered as the frozen ships fell from the sky and crashed onto it. Some of the ice hit the train cars too, but they were still insulated from the battle yesterday so didn't suffer too much damage. Zapdos spread his wings, causing thunder and lightning to crack down all around them as he built up his power, and unleashed a Shadow Bolt, blue and black bolts of electricity lancing out and dancing from ship to ship, frying their systems and causing explosions to erupt across their hulls as they experienced massive engine failures and began to crash. A few bolts even struck the train cars, although thankfully their shields were able to deflect the attack…but just barely. Moltres opened her beak, flames dancing around her body and shooting through the sky, and exhaled a Shadow Fire, a purple and black torrent of flames that engulfed numerous ships as well as the cars, causing the battleships to violently explode as their fuel and ammunition was ignited, and a lot of the armor on the cars melted slightly. Additionally, all of Happy's shed skins had long since been disintegrated by the elemental frenzy, and the weather was driving Bow's elemental friends crazy, despite the wind mage's best efforts to calm them, leaving the cars far more vulnerable than they had been before.

But the show wasn't over yet. Lugia opened his mouth, and the rain came down harder than ever, and all the light seemed to vanish, except for the glow from Lugia's red eyes, growing brighter and brighter. Darkness swirled around his body and coalesced into a perfect sphere of absolute blackness in his jaws that pulsated and emitted hundreds of beams of purple and black energy that combined into a single MASSIVE energy beam at least as large, if not _larger_, than the one created by the Arachnoblast's Wave Motion Cannon. Realizing there was no way they could survive such an attack, the frantic passengers on the train cars quickly drove away from the horrifically powerful Shadow Blast while everyone outside the cars desperately Teleported or portalled out of the way just before the beam could hit them. The Nihilator ships nearby were not so lucky, and were completely vaporized. The Shadow Blast kept going past them, growing wider and wider the further away it got from Lugia, until it finally hit the ground, plowing a deep fissure in the desert floor that stretched for miles and miles into the distance, creating a new canyon visible from orbit that, even centuries after the fact, would still radiate purple and black mist and make anyone who came near it rather queasy.

Everyone stared at the devastation, shocked. In his car, Leo's jaw hung open, uncharacteristically speechless. Zippo finally broke the silence. "Okay," he said weakly. "I think I've decided on 'scared shitless.'"

Tarantulas laughed giddily. "Vunderbar! Vunderbar! I should have brought out Lugia and ze ozzer birds ages ago! I don't even care zat zey're blowing up our own ships, so long as zey manage to kill zem, I'll be happy!"

"It is no great loss. They were sissies," Viers said dismissively.

Tarantulas rolled his eyes. "Zat seems to be your opinion of everyone."

"That is because they are sissies. None of them can defeat Viers! Because Viers is not a sissy! And sissies cannot defeat Viers. Because Viers is not a sissy," Viers said.

"What if one of them _did_ beat you?" Tarantulas asked.

"Then they would not be sissies," Viers said reasonably.

"…Eh, I guess zat makes sense," Tarantulas admitted. "In any event, ze birds are certainly no sissies, and zey vill finally put an end to zis exasperating rebellion! And once zey are all taken care of, ve shall take ze remaining Star Badges, and zen none can stop ze Nihilators! Gyahahahahahaha!" He paused, a worried look forming on his face. "I shouldn't have said zat, should I? Oh crap, somezing terrible's about to happen because I said zat, isn't it? It has every time so far!"

Everyone looked around the control room anxiously. A few moments passed. Then, abruptly, Chobin's stomach growled, causing everyone to jump. "Sorry, Chobin has not had anything to eat lately," Chobin whined. "Doctor would not feed hungry Chobin before putting him in this ball!"

"Sorry, Chobin, but I felt it necessary. I vas vorried you might choke on somezing, or zrow up after getting dizzy from all ze rolling around, eat it again, and choke on your own vomit, or slip on it and hurt yourself, or somezing like zat," Tarantulas apologized. "I'll give you somezing to eat once zis crisis is over."

"But I want to eat noooooooooooooooowwww! Chobin is sooooooooooo hungry!" Chobin moaned. He licked his lips. "So hungry in fact, Chobin is even considering eating himself!" Drooling, he bit into his arm and yelped in pain. "Owowow!...Mmm, yum…Chobin is tasting Chobinlicious!" He started chewing on his arm some more. "Mmm-ow! Mmm-ow! Mmm-ow!"

Tarantulas sighed. "Viers?"

Viers obediently shoved Chobin's sphere, sending him rolling around the room and causing him to forget about eating himself for the moment. "Wheeeeeeeee!"

"Zank you. Vere vas I? Oh yes, vorrying zat I'd jinxed us somehow," Tarantulas recalled.

"You are being silly. Very silly. Like a sissy. Who is silly," Viers said. "We are not sissies! Therefore we are not silly! Therefore nothing is going to go wrong!"

On cue, a hologram of a Nihilator appeared. "Doctor Tarantulas, sir, the prisoners we captured from the Enchanted Express have escaped, including the Lucario Oblivion's Shadow insisted we get!"

Doctor Tarantulas' eye twitched. "Viers?"

"Yes, Doctor?" Viers asked timidly, realizing he may have overstepped himself.

"You are very, very lucky. Do you know vhy?" Tarantulas asked quietly.

"Er…no, Doctor. Why?" Viers asked uneasily.

"I zink mein anger chip just broke, and until it's replaced, I von't feel properly motivated to kill you," Tarantulas said calmly.

"Oh," Viers said. "Er…good?"

"Unfortunately, now zat mein anger chip is broken, mein happiness chip is going to kick in any second now, meaning I'm going to become as loony as Chobin," Tarantulas said. His eye twitched. "Oh, it's booting up now." His mechanical eye turned blue, and a horrifically and uncharacteristically giddy expression appeared in his face. "I'm covered in spiders!" he said excitedly.

"Um. Yes. You are," Viers said awkwardly.

Tarantulas frowned at the wary Nihilators staring at him. "But nobody else has some…ooh, I know! I'll lend you some of mine! After all, sharing is caring!" Several of the spiders on Tarantulas' body swarmed down his web and across the floor, causing the bridge crew to run screaming as they tried to evade the voracious mechanoids. "Awww, look how happy zat one is! He's made some new friends!" Tarantulas observed as an operator ran past, screaming as he frantically tried to knock off the spiders crawling up his body. Tarantulas clapped his legs together happily. "Yaaaaaay!"

"Yaaaaaaaaaaay!" Chobin chorused, clapping as well.

Tarantulas' head snapped around to focus on Chobin. "Chobin!" Tarantulas gasped. "You're in a ball!"

"I know!" Chobin said. "You put Chobin in here!"

"I did, didn't I?" Tarantulas recalled as Chobin rolled around, squashing some of the robots scurrying around the floor, much to the relief of the Nihilators. That relief turned to horror when Tarantulas announced, "Zat looks like fun! I wanna try!"

"Okay!" Chobin said.

Tarantulas hopped off of his web and onto Chobin's ball, legs working rapidly as he ran on top of the sphere, rolling it around the room and forcing the Nihilators to run in terror again lest they be crushed by their—more than usually—deranged leader. "Wheeeee!"

"Wheeeeee!" Chobin echoed.

Tarantulas laughed like a schoolboy. "I should have turned off my anger chip years ago! Zis is so much fun!"

"Why do you think Chobin is always breaking things like broken glass that is broken because Chobin has shattered it all over the place because he is liking to break things because it is fun?" Chobin agreed. "Being stuffy and boring is stuffy and boring! Being a free spirit like Chobin is so much funner!"

"Funner isn't a vord, but I don't care right now! I can't remember ze last time I've been so happy!" Tarantulas said joyfully.

Viers stared as the Doctor and Chobin rolled around the control room, making a game to see how many things they could squish, designating points for each thing they destroyed, with ten points per spider and fifty points per Nihilator. They tried to roll into him a few times, but he always batted them away, much to their disappointment. "…Perhaps I was too hasty. Haste is good, but also bad. This time it was bad. Because the Doctor is more insane than usual. Which is bad. Because of my haste to assert our superiority. Even though we are superior. We are more superior by far than anyone else. Because we are not sissies…" the Emboar said. He paused when the same Nihilator from before ran by, still screaming as the robot spiders devoured his legs. "…I think."

…

Several minutes earlier…

"Damn, damn, damn…this isn't good!" Denchu the Galvantula hissed as she paced back and forth, while behind her her children feasted on the corpse of Cherry the Girafarig. "I've really blown it this time…now he'll suffer at the hands of Oblivion's Shadow, and maybe die, and we'll never get married!"

"It's probably for the best," a very weak and wounded Rebecca said from where she had been fastened to the wall by the assassin's Electroweb. Several of her tentacles had been torn off, and one of her eyes was ripped out. She was bruised and beaten all over, and ectoplasm was oozing from numerous parts of her spectral form "After all…just imagine what the children would look like…"

"Silence!" Denchu hissed, blasting Cherry with a Discharge. Her children paused in their meal and added some voltage of their own, causing the Frillish to cry in agony as still more electricity coursed through her. "I have had almost enough of your impudence! Do you wish to join your friend so badly on the other side?"

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Rebecca said with a weak grin. "Like your boss said, I'm a spiritualist. I've got lots of friends willing to give me a warm reception…that will be more than happy to avenge my death…"

"You may wish for death once Oblivion's Shadow gets his hands on you…he is endlessly fascinated with souls, and _especially_ interested with Ghosts like yourself," Denchu chittered. "I can only imagine the tortures he has in store for someone like you, especially someone with such power over spirits…I'm sure there is much he can learn from you…"

Rebecca managed a grin. "If I wasn't willing to tell you what you wanted to know despite all the crap you've put me through for the last few hours, what makes you think I'll tell your faceless master anything he wants to know?"

"Because he is far less gentle than I…and much more…_meticulous_ in his methods," Denchu crooned, her children giggling evilly. "It is impossible to keep any secrets from him. You are lucky he was not here now, or he would have you begging for mercy and willing to sell out your dearest friends just to make the pain stop within _seconds._"

"Speaking of the big guy," Rebecca said, not letting that comment faze her. "Where _is_ he, anyway? I'd have thought he'd want to be in the front row for a show like this, to make sure nothing goes wrong. _Especially_ after the setback you guys suffered yesterday!" She grinned. "Which is nothing compared to the setback we're going to hand you today…"

The Galvantula faltered for a moment. "He was…unable to join us. It matters not, for we don't need him to defeat the likes of you!" Denchu sneered, regaining her determination. "You are very confident for one who has been stolen right out from under the noses of your friends and is securely in our clutches. We have already subverted the power of your oracle, and brought an end to her ruinous prophecies. Do you not understand your doom? If we could thwart the destiny she foresaw for us so easily, how do you think your allies could possibly stand a chance of beating us?"

Rebecca managed a chuckle. "If you think that's the end of it, you're sadly mistaken."

"The end of it? I _killed_ her! My children are devouring her as we speak!" Denchu said angrily, gesturing to the fast-disappearing corpse.

"Yeah, and I died yesterday but I'm here talking to you now, aren't I?" Rebecca pointed out. "Come on, do you really think an oracle like Cherry would let something like death stop her?"

"But she didn't see it coming," Denchu protested.

"No, but she knew she was going to die _someday_, so how do you know she didn't have something special ready just in case? She's very good, I'll admit that, but even she knows she can sometimes be wrong. The stunt you pulled last night is proof of that," Rebecca pointed out. "I've known Cherry a long time, most of her life, actually, which is how I know, beyond a doubt…that she rarely if _ever_ leaves anything to chance!"

It was at that moment that one of the Joltik eating Cherry's body hesitated, eyes dilating. "Momma…I don't…feel so…good…" It groaned and sagged on its belly, eyes closing. The other Joltik blinked, moaned, and followed suit, dropping one by one to the floor. Their bodies shook for a moment, and then lay still as they drew their last breaths.

"NO! MY BABIES!" Denchu screamed in horror, rushing over to her children.

"Well, would you look at that…I guess she predicted she was going to die by some monster eating her—not necessarily at the mandibles of your kids, but getting eaten by someone or something, definitely-and poisoned her flesh so she'd take down her killer!" Rebecca said, looking pleased and only mildly surprised. "Either that or she's even more crazily prepared than that Leo guy and made her body poisonous just in case. That wouldn't surprise me very much."

"No…no, no, no! You can't be dead! Please wake up!" the Galvantula cried, desperately shaking her children, and when that failed to work, zapping them with electricity to try and reanimate them. All that did was cause them to convulse rather grotesquely and flail their legs about before lying still again. "No…nooooooooooooooo!"

"As a mother myself, I should probably sympathize with you…but your kids were monsters, and you've spent the last several hours torturing me, so honestly, I can't say I'm very sorry," Rebecca said drily.

"Neither am I," said the transparent Duskull that levitated from the grisly remains and became solid in moments, startling Denchu.

"Oh, there you are. I was wondering what was taking you so long," Rebecca said. "I was wondering if I was going to need to use my power over spirits to draw you back."

"If it had taken that much longer for those toxins to kick in, you might have had to," the undead Cherry said. "I tried to hold on for as long as I could, but if too much more time had passed I'd have been unable to pull myself back on my own."

"Y-you…the oracle! B-but how?" Denchu stammered in disbelief.

The Duskull chuckled as it floated around the shocked Galvantula's head. "I said before that today wasn't the day I died, and as always when it comes to the future, I was telling the truth."

"Wasn't…but I slit your throat!" Denchu protested.

Cherry shrugged. "You and I have different views on when exactly 'death' settles in. For you, it's when the body stops working. For me, it's when a spirit fully departs this plane of existence. And since I'm still here, I don't consider myself 'truly' dead. Granted, it's really just a matter of semantics, but that's how I see it." She glanced at the myriad Joltik corpses. "Speaking of which, by both our definitions I'd say your children are dead. I'd apologize, but they were eating me, so I don't feel too torn up about it."

"_You_ may not be, but I'm furious!" Denchu screamed. "They were _my _children! They had a great future ahead of them! Once we conquered the world and the Doctor married me, the Earth would have been their Cloyster! Nothing would have been denied them! And you've ruined _everything!_"

"It was already ruined, Denchu. Your dream had no chance of succeeding," Cherry said.

The Galvantula froze. "What?"

"Doctor Tarantulas has never had any feelings for you like that, and was never going to. He's just not interested in you that way, and not just because he had to replace his sexual organs with machinery long ago (although I'm sure that had something to do with limiting his sex drive)," Cherry said. "He's too dedicated to science and his quest of global annihilation to ever see a person like you as anything more than a tool at best or something to experiment on and/or feed to Chobin at worst. That and you're too organic for him. His tastes run a little more towards the, ah, mechanical, if you know what I mean. You know, what with him being a cyborg and all."

"Ew," said a disgusted Rebecca.

Denchu staggered backwards, a look of shock and disbelief on her face. "Wh-what? No…no, that can't be true! You're lying!"

Cherry shook her head. "I _never_ lie about the future, remember?"

_Hmm…should I feel bad about the fact that her heart has been broken and all her hopes and dreams have been completely and irrevocably shattered?_ Rebecca wondered briefly as she saw the look of utter despair on Denchu's face. _Hmm…nah, screw the bitch._

"You'll…you'll regret this…" Denchu snarled furiously. "Reinforcements are already on their way…the Doctor sent them! They'll make you pay for what you did to my babies!"

"Mmm…well, you're half-right," Cherry said. "_Someone's_ going to come barging in here in just a moment…but it's not any Nihilator."

Denchu blinked in confusion. "What? But then who-"

At that moment, the door to the luggage car slammed open and Todd entered the room. "Hold that look on your face!" he shouted to the startled Denchu as he quickly snapped a picture. "I want our readers to see your utter shock and disbelief as the brave heroes come to the rescue of your cruelly seized prisoners!"

Rebecca frowned. "Funny, I was expecting someone more…useful to come to our rescue…"

"W-wait, what? How did you get in here?" asked the startled Denchu.

"I'm a member of the press, we have a way of getting into places where we're not wanted!" Todd said triumphantly.

"That and we smashed our way into this landing bay after leaving the others to take on the majority of Tarantulas' forces and keep him from noticing us," Palmer said as he, Fantina, and the Happy husk came in behind Todd.

"Ah, that's more like it," Rebecca said in relief.

"The cavalry has arrived, just as I anticipated," Cherry said smugly.

And then Todd did something unexpected. "No, no, no! That won't do at all! Get back outside!" he cried, spreading his wings and shoving the startled Palmer, Fantina and shed skin out the door.

"Wait, what are you-" the startled Fantina protested.

"You can't make a dramatic entrance like that! You're here to rescue your friends; you can't just…casually walk into the room! You need to bust in here, fists flying and spells blazing!" Todd insisted. "It'll look much better on the front page!"

"But-" Palmer protested.

Todd backed back into the car and grabbed the door. "Now, I'm going to close the door and back into a good shooting position. Count down to three, then bust in here like you were in an action movie or something!"

"I'm not sure zis is-" Fantina started.

"Great! Remember, on three!" Todd said, ignoring them. He closed the door and took several steps back.

"What…what is…what is going on?" asked an extremely confused Denchu.

"I'm confused too, but I'm starting to get used to it with this bunch," Rebecca said drily.

"One…two…three…" Cherry counted down.

On three, the door exploded open as flames spiraled into the room, the three Pokémon (well, two Pokémon and one husk) dashing in out of the inferno, Palmer wielding twin ice swords, fireballs and Shadow Balls swirling around Fantina as an eerie glow surrounded her, and the wings of the Happy husk vibrating rapidly and flashing in various colors. "Perfect!" Todd said delightedly as he took the picture. "Just how I imagined it!" He pulled the printed photo off his tongue and held it up to the light. "Hmm…not bad, not ba…wait…Kairyu, you blinked! You ruined the whole thing! Now we've gotta do the whole thing over! Quick, get outside and-"

"Yeah, no," Palmer said, shoving past Todd.

"Sorry dear," Fantina apologized as she floated past the crestfallen Todd. "I'm sure what you already 'ave is good enough!"

"Yeah, I guess…I suppose we can always edit the photo before it prints or something…" Todd said reluctantly.

"You! Y-you shouldn't be here!" Denchu screeched in alarm, scurrying backwards. "Guards! Guards!"

"Sorry, but I'm afraid you won't be getting help anytime soon," Palmer said with a smirk.

"We've already taken care of ze Nihilators in ze bay, and sealed ze 'angar to keep any ozzer meddlers from poking zeir noses where zey don't belong," Fantina said smugly. Her face darkened when she saw the bad condition Rebecca was in, and Cherry's bug-eaten corpse. "Which is good, since it means nobody will stop us from giving you what you deserve…"

"Oh, you think so, do you?" Denchu hissed angrily. "I can't die…not until I avenge my children!" The lines on her suit started glowing. "I will vanish into thin air…and slay you as an unseen, unheard, undetectable specter of wrath!" Cackling, her form rippled and disappeared completely.

"Uh, Cherry, I don't suppose your rebirth has made your third eye strong enough to see her this time?" Rebecca asked worriedly.

"No, but I don't need to," Cherry said with a grin. "Somebody else's is."

"Zat's right," Fantina said smugly as what looked like some kind of high-tech (or magitech?) monocle materialized over one of her eyes, the lens glowing green as she slowly scanned the room. The monocle flashed, and she burst into a grin. "Aha! Zere you are!" She conjured a fireball and hurled it at what looked like thin air and hitting…_something,_ exploding and causing a screeching Denchu to rematerialize, frantically trying to beat out the flames on her suit.

"Aaaahhh! No! H-how did you-" the Galvantula cried in horror.

Fantina chuckled. "You see, dear, your little trick is pretty impressive…but once you know 'ow it works, it's no more dangerous zan your average invisibility spell. And zanks to ze genius of my dear Lily's beau Leo, we were able to figure out 'ow zose suits of yours function…as well as 'ow to manufacture a device using my matter replication spell to see right zhrough zem!"

Palmer grinned and raised his swords. "Which means…you're completely vulnerable!" He dashed forwards at the incredible speeds Dragonites were renowned for.

"N-no! It can't end like this! Not yet!" Denchu protested, spitting an Electroweb at Palmer and leaping onto the ceiling when he easily slashed through it, scurrying for the back of the car as fast as she could…

Only to find Happy's shell blocking her path. The husk's wings started vibrating and its antenna glowed, and much to the Galvantula's horror, she dropped from the ceiling, her body no longer responding to her frenzied commands. "No! What's happening! Why…why can't I move-"

There was a flash and a sharp pain, followed by numbness. She blinked in confusion, wondering why she was lying on the floor, why Palmer was standing before her with his back to her, and why she couldn't feel the back half of her body. "Uhhh…what…what did you…" That's when her rearmost eyes informed her that her abdomen had been separated from her body and was lying a few feet away, back legs twitching as a pool of blood grew between them. "…Oh. I see." As her vision faded, her eyes switching off one by one, her final thoughts were of regret mingled with joy; regret that she had failed her beloved Doctor…and joy that at least she would be with her children again.

"Thanks for the save, but what took you so long?" Rebecca asked as Fantina burned the Electroweb off of her.

"Are you kidding? It's a warzone out there! There's tons of fighters and battleships shooting at us and each other, and we had to weave our way through real-life 'bullet hell' just to even get close to this giant walking fortress, and then we had to blast our way in, and take out the guards, and _wow_ did I ever get the best pictures!" Todd said giddily.

Rebecca rolled her eyes as she cast a healing spell on herself, regrowing her missing limbs and body parts. "Well, I'm glad somebody's happy…"

Fantina burned the webbing off Ash, Ritchie, Tiny, and Cruise, who had been pinned to the opposite wall, using telekinesis to gently lower them to the floor. "You poor dears! Zis can't 'ave been ze most pleasant of experiences," she tutted when she saw how out of it and damaged they looked. "'Ere, let me 'elp…" She cast healing spells on them too.

"Ugh…what…what happened, Daddy?" Cruise moaned as he regained consciousness.

"Sp-spiders…crawling all over me…spiders everywhere!" Ritchie stammered as he scratched himself, mad-eyed.

"Don't worry, they're all gone. The spiders are dead," Ash said gently, grabbing the other Lucario's shoulder and pointing at the corpses across the room. "They won't bother us anymore." He tried not to shudder as the lingering memory of their legs crawling all over his body tingled across his skin, but worse still was the memory of his latest nightmare…what the heck had that been about? Seriously, why was he dreaming about a zombified Misty now? He was really starting to think he needed therapy…

"D-Daddy? Why are we in the luggage car? What's going on?" Tiny said a little woozily, picking up on his father's anxiety.

"You were abducted by an agent of Doctor Tarantulas that managed to sneak onto the train," Palmer explained as he came over, dissolving his ice swords. "You and this entire train car were transported on board the Doctor's giant robot spider fortress so that you would be unable to help us fend off his attack."

"…A giant robot spider fortress? Seriously?" Ritchie asked incredulously.

"Wh-what? Really?" said the startled Tiny.

"That's…kind of scary," Cruise murmured. "They were able to get us _that_ easily but didn't kill us, even though they could have? Yikes…"

"What? How'd they get on board? I thought that was supposed to be impossible!" a shocked Ash protested.

"And Cherry never mentioned anything like that happening," an alarmed Ritchie agreed.

"That's because, for once, I didn't see it coming," Cherry said as she floated over. "I'm as miffed as you are, let me tell you."

They stared at her. "Cherry, why are you a Duskull?" Ash asked.

"I died," Cherry said, pointing at her half-eaten corpse. The others grimaced.

"Ah," Ritchie said.

"Ewwwww!" Tiny and Cruise chorused.

"I'm okay now, though," Cherry pointed out. "As are all of you, despite the Doctor's best efforts to the contrary."

"And now that we've managed to free the six of you, it's time to get out of here. The others are battling the Doctor and his minions as we speak, and they'll need your help to keep from being overwhelmed," Palmer said.

Ash gasped. "What? He's started his attack? How are the others?"

"All right so far. They sent us to come and rescue you while they're fighting the bulk of the Doctor's forces," Todd said.

"Why'd they only send you guys, though?" Tiny asked, slightly miffed that so few had come to their rescue.

"We were ze only ones zey could spare. Ze Doctor's brought a _lot_ of strong cards to ze table," Fantina said apologetically.

"They're fighting cards? They can't be that tough, then," Cruise said, misunderstanding.

"Maybe they're giant cards that shoot lasers and stuff. Ooh! Or maybe he's like Mewgle and decided to bring Lu-Gi-Oh cards to life!" Tiny suggested.

"Ooh, that would be neat!" Cruise said.

Fantina blinked. "What? No, zat's not what I…oh, never mind."

"What kinds of cards are we talking about here?" Ash asked with a frown.

"Lugia and the legendary birds," Palmer said.

Ash stiffened, Tiny and Cruise gasped, and Ritchie bit off a curse. "What? But we're not there to fight them! How are the others going to manage without us?" the leader of Team Getem demanded.

"That's sort of why we need to get out of here right now, before the birds wipe the floor with them," Todd said nervously.

Fantina nodded sadly. "From what I can see from my ozzer 'alf, ze four of zem are _really_ powerful, and Lugia…what zey've turned 'im into…it's 'orrifying."

Ash clenched his fists angrily, Tiny giving him a worried look at the anger radiating off of him. "What do you mean, 'other half?'" Cruise asked in puzzlement.

"I'm not all 'ere," Fantina said. "What you see is just a part of me. I split myself in two so zat I could 'elp rescue you as well as fight ze Nihilators wiz ze ozzers."

"Oh. Is that safe?" Cruise asked.

"Aside from the fact that it means neither half is able to fight at full power since that power is divided between two Fantinas, no," Rebecca said, looking concerned.

Fantina grimaced. "Which is anozzer reason we need to get going immediately…"

Ash nodded grimly. "So I can purify Lugia…and put an end to the three traitorous elemental birds once and for all."

"And I'll help. Are you sure you're ready?" Ritchie asked.

"As ready as I'm going to be," Ash said, pushing back his doubts and all the questions his nightmare had left him with.

"Do you know what it is you 'ave to do?" Fantina asked.

"Not really," Ash admitted. "I'll figure something out when I get there. It's worked for me so far."

"It will not be as hard as you think. You and Lugia share a bond, Ash," Cherry said, floating forwards and touching Ash's chest. "Deep down, you already _know_ what must be done to save him. When you reach him, the solution will make itself clear."

Ash rubbed the spot where she had touched him, a little chilled, though he wasn't sure if it was from trepidation or because the oracle's ectoplasm was really cold. "I'll take your word for it. Your prophecies have never been wrong so far."

"Um, didn't she fail to warn us that Doctor Tarantulas would send someone to kidnap us?" Cruise pointed out.

"He used some fancy-shmancy technology to do it. Won't happen again," Cherry said.

"How do you know that? If he was able to blindside you once like that, what's to stop him from doing it again?" Rebecca asked.

"Because, as Leo told us, the resources necessary to make stealth suits as powerful as the ones he did are extremely rare and expensive, and since he made enough for both Denchu and her children, it's unlikely he'll have much left to spare on any others," Palmer said.

"Plus, we've already figured out 'ow to see zhrough zem—again zanks to Leo—so if 'e _does_ try somezing like zis again, we'll be ready," Fantina promised.

Cherry shrugged. "Good enough for me. How about you all?"

"I suppose so," Rebecca said reluctantly.

"Well, okay," Cruise said uncertainly.

"That's very nice, but I think we need to get moving," Ritchie said, glancing around. "Now, where's my Fist Plate? I don't suppose that spider grabbed it?"

"She did. It's right over here," Cruise said, floating over to a familiar rectangular plate sitting on a nearby crate.

"And so's your stuff, Daddy!" Tiny said excitedly, hovering next to Ash's staff and gloves. The Pupitar's favorite top hat and monocle were lying right next to them.

"What're those doing here?" Ash asked in relief as he slid his paws into his gloves and helped Tiny put his clothes on.

"They stole them at the same time they kidnapped you so we couldn't use them, or so that they might be able to use them against us, I suppose," Palmer theorized.

Fantina nodded in agreement. "I just bet zey'd love to get zeir 'ands on an auzentic Plate of Arceus, or ze weapons of an Aura Guardian!"

"They left your badges, though, to try and trick us into thinking you were still on board. Here," Todd said, handing Ash and Tiny's badges to their rightful owners. "I think these belong to you."

"Thank you very much," Ash said as he gratefully pinned his badge back on.

"It felt weird not having it," Tiny complained. "I'm glad to have it back!"

"Well, whatever the Doctor had planned for these things, that's not going to happen, because they're back where they belong," Ritchie said, a grin forming. He slapped the Fist Plate to his chest. "'When the universe was created, its shards became this Plate!' Fist Plate, Armor Up!" he shouted, his armor appearing on him in a flash of light.

Todd snapped a photo. "That is still so cool!" he gushed. "Ash, why can't you have a power-up or transformation that's as photogenic as that? You're supposed to be the Chosen One; I figured you'd have something even cooler than that!"

"Wh-what? I, uh…" Ash stammered in confusion.

"Hey, Daddy's going to get one of those someday!" Tiny said indignantly. "And it's gonna be _way_ cooler than Ritchie's!"

"No it's not," Cruise said.

"Yes it is!" Tiny insisted.

"No it's not!" Cruise said.

"Yes it is!" Tiny insisted.

"NO IT'S NOT!" Cruise yelled, getting in Tiny's face.

"YES IT IS!" Tiny shouted, smashing his face into Cruise's.

"Um, Tiny, that's not necessary," a Mareepish Ash said as he pulled the Pupitar away.

"Cruise, I thought I taught you better than that!" Ritchie said as he pulled Cruise back.

"Sorry, Daddy," the two surrogate sons said simultaneously.

Rebecca rolled her eyes. "Right. Now that that's settled, can we get going already? I thought we were in a bit of a hurry."

"Oh! Right! We have to go save the others!" Ash gasped.

"Yeah! Uh, but how exactly are we going to get to the fight from in here?" Ritchie asked.

Fantina chuckled. "A simple enough matter." She floated over to a box set in the wall and flipped it open, revealing several series of flashing glyphs, runes, and switches. "I'm going to need everyone wiz magical expertise over 'ere, please." Rebecca, Cherry, and Todd immediately came over. Fantina frowned when she noticed Palmer hadn't budged. "Zat includes you, Kairyu."

The Dragonite started. "What? Oh, er, yes, of course." He quickly walked over.

Ritchie frowned and rubbed his chin as the mages started fiddling with the controls. "Hey, that guy's supposed to be a wizard, right?"

"Um, yeah, I think so," Ash said.

"Have you seen him casting any actual spells since we met him?" Ritchie asked.

Ash furrowed his brow in puzzlement as he tried to remember. "I'm…not sure, actually." He frowned as he scrutinized Palmer for a moment. Now that he thought about it, something about the Dragonite seemed vaguely…familiar…much in the same way most of the people he'd met in his past life did. But he didn't remember ever meeting anyone named Kairyu before…or had he?

He was shaken from these thoughts when the panel the mages were working on flashed and the car started rumbling. "Aha! Zere we go!" Fantina said proudly.

"We're on our way!" Todd said excitedly.

"Next stop: our friends, and the legendary birds!" Palmer declared.

_And Lugia…_ Ash thought to himself, clenching his fists.

"Kind of a shame we can't bust this place up some more before we leave," Rebecca complained. "I'd love to give the Doctor some payback for all the crap that lovesick stooge of his put us through."

"Don't worry, this place will be completely destroyed soon enough, and he'll get what's coming to him," Cherry assured her friend.

Rebecca sighed. "I suppose. Still, I don't think it would hurt to leave a little…going-away present, do you?" She cackled malevolently, eyes glowing as she called upon the power of the spirits. Cherry smirked, glad her friend was back in high spirits…oh, that was a pun, wasn't it? How terrible.

The luggage car rolled across the floor of the hangar bay towards the rather sizable hole the rescue team (not to be confused with a certified and badge-wearing Rescue Team) had created in the bay doors when breaking in, the golden tracks of light guiding the car on its path towards freedom. At the back of the room, the blast doors that the rescue team had magically sealed and frozen shut exploded as the Nihilator reinforcements on the other side finally managed to break through just in time to see the luggage car and all its extremely valuable prisoners escaping the Arachnoblast. "Fuck!" the Nihilator squad leader swore when he saw their ticket to getting into Oblivion's Shadow's and Doctor Tarantulas's good graces receding from them.

"Double fuck," another Nihilator said when he noticed how many corpses of their fellows littered the floor and the various states of complete destruction they were in; privately thinking to himself that he was glad he wasn't one of them.

"Triple fuck," said a third Nihilator when a very large group of air and metal elementals swirled into the air or rose from the floor, summoned by Rebecca.

The squad leader sighed. "Doctor Tarantulas is not gonna be happy to hear this…"

(The Doctor was happy when he got the news, actually, just not in the way the squad leader expected.)

"Ze battle against ze birds 'as begun," Fantina announced abruptly as their car rolled out of the Arachnoblast and into the elemental frenzy swirling outside the fortress.

"You think?" Rebecca said snidely. She shuddered. "I don't like this…the spirits are being driven crazy by this weather…if we don't stop it, this storm could have serious consequences for a good chunk of the region. Even Fichina might be affected!"

"Yikes…I'm not even sure the best weather mages can stop something this bad!" Todd said nervously, taking picture after picture of the raging storm.

"If we can defeat the birds, that will put a stop to this," Cherry announced.

"Which means it's all down to me…" Ash murmured.

"Don't forget," Ritchie said, clapping a paw on Ash's shoulder. "We're helping too!"

Ash grinned. "Yeah, I know. I appreciate that. Thanks."

"Daddy, we should let the others know we're coming!" Tiny said excitedly. "Then they'll know they don't need to keep worrying about us!"

Ash nodded. "Good idea." He tapped his badge. "Ash to Team Aurabolt, Ash to Team Aurabolt. Come in, Team Aurabolt!"

"And I'm here too!" Tiny added.

The badge crackled, interference from the storm filling the signal with white noise, but in spite of it the relieved and overjoyed voices of Ash's friends could be heard. _"Ash? Tiny? You're back? Thank goodness!" _Lily cried.

_"Just a moment ago, my disaster-sense told me things were about to get better. I _knew_ it was you!"_ Sasha said excitedly.

_"About time you got out of there, lad! We were worried about you!" _Briney said worriedly.

_"Dude! Ash! Tiny, my mons! Good to hear from you!"_ Leo cried. _"We knew you wouldn't go down easy!"_

_We are relieved to hear you are safe,_ Dawn clicked.

_"Ash, Tiny…Arceus, you have no idea how good it is to hear your voices,"_ a very relived Pikachu said. _"You have no idea how _worried_ we were! But we never gave up hope that you'd make it back. We _knew_ you'd be okay."_

"Thanks," Ash said, the trust and relief from his friends erasing most of his lingering worries. "I'm…I'm very happy to hear that…it's good to hear you guys, too."

_"Dude, are you crying?" _Leo asked.

"No, I'm not crying!" Ash lied. "Anyway, what about you guys? We just escaped from Doctor Tarantulas' big spider fortress thing, how are things going for you?"

_"It's…it's not looking good,"_ Sasha said.

_"Don't listen to her; she's making it sound worse than it is!"_ Briney said.

_"Not really, she isn't," _Lily commented, causing Briney to grunt in frustration.

_"The birds are putting up a _very_ good fight…especially Lugia,"_ Pikachu said. _"I'm not sure that we can beat them on our own…but now that you and Tiny and everyone else are on your way, something tells me that everything's going to turn out all right!"_

Ash and Tiny smiled, feeling something of their own—perhaps the power of Aura?—agreeing with this sentiment. "Don't worry, guys," Ash said, looking out a window into the heart of the storm. "We're on our way…and when we get there…" He clenched his fist, Aura blazing around them and causing the top of his staff to glow. "Those birds won't know what hit them!"

A battleship they were rolling past exploded as he said this. It was due to a huge lightning strike rather than anything Ash had said, but it underscored his determination and fighting spirit pretty well. "Ooooh," Todd said, snapping a picture of the ship going down in flames behind Ash's proud stance. "That was so cool!" He looked at the photo and frowned. "Hmm, but I don't think the lighting was quite right…can we try that again?"

"NO!" everyone yelled at him.

He scowled at them. "You guys have no respect for photojournalism…" he grumbled.

And so on they rolled, towards the corrupted birds, Lugia, and their friends, as the storm and the battle raged around them.

Towards destiny.

…

Well, what did you think? Was this better than the original version or not that different?

Whatever the case, now that this is taken care of, it's onward to chapter 55! Which is filler…yeah… enjoy it if you can, okay? And try to be patient, since we won't be seeing the continuation of this battle until chapter 56…

But I promise, when we get there, it's going to be EPIC. Don't miss it! And don't miss 55 either, because there's going to be some cool stuff in it, even if it's not quite as epic. So…please read both of them when they come out, 'k?

See you then! And once more, happy third anniversary!


	55. Wedding Bells, Reflections, and Words

Okay. I've been busy with my jobs, but I still managed to find time to work on this. It's a lot shorter than previous chapters, so I hope that's okay. 56 will probably be ultra-long again, unless I decide to put the next stage of the subplots in chapter 57. I hope I don't have to, since one filler chapter in an arc is probably enough, don't you think? Wouldn't want these things to get too out of hand…more than usual, anyway. Oy.

Anyway, without further ado, here's chapter 55!

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters that don't belong to me.

…

It was a lovely day for a wedding. The Draconian and Pokémon Square weather controllers had seen to that, making sure that the sky was bright blue and cloudless, the sun was warm and shining, and a gentle breeze rustled the fur and scales and spines and antenna and other skin protrusions of the hundreds of Pokémon who'd gathered in the fields outside the town walls for this momentous occasion. Everyone was there; the residents of Pokémon Square, the Rescue Teams and heroes, the Draconian soldiers and staff and occupants of the Sky Tower, and the refugees that had been rescued from the clutches of Gal's horde. All of them were wearing their finest clothing, and those who didn't have any clothing were given some. (The formerly wild Pokémon didn't quite understand the point of this, since most of them had never worn clothes before, and pointed out that most Pokémon didn't wear clothes anyway, so why did they need to wear some now? The answer they were given, "To look nice, of course!" didn't satisfy them.) The Pokémon who grew crops in the fields outside the town were naturally upset that their land was going to be stomped all over by hundreds of careless Pokémon _again_ so soon after the big award ceremony, but a few thousand Poké from the coffers of the Dragon God King were enough to shut up most of the complainers.

The guests were divided into two groups split by a central aisle. Seating arrangements had been set up so that townsPokémon, Draconians, and refugees were sprinkled evenly throughout the crowd in an attempt to promote harmony between the factions. After all, they were sharing the same space and fighting the same fight, so there was no reason for them to be clustered in separate groups, right? (This worked better in theory than in practice, but it was a nice effort.) The aisle, with the requisite red carpet, ran from the town gates to the altar, which had been set up on the repurposed stage that had been used for the awards ceremony. (After all, the thing had been good once, why not reuse it?)

Master Yamiri and the priests from the town's temple as well as the Draconian priests had gone all-out on the decorations and other festive ornaments, driven by the harsh taskmistress that was Delia Thunderblade to bring her vision of a perfect mass wedding to life. (None of them wanted to know what she was going to do for her sons' weddings. They burst into fearful sweat at the thought.) The red carpet was framed by a series of austere white and green marble arches adorned with a variety of religious symbols, vines laden with edible Berries and other fruits growing up their sides and providing convenient surfaces for the holy icons to hang from. Additionally, Draconian soldiers in dress uniform lined the carpet, two standing underneath each arch, one per side. Large panels with paintings of the soon-to-be-wedded couples interspersed with scenes from religious scripture stood on the outer perimeter of the field, staring imposingly down on the guests huddled in their shadows. Flowering garlands framed the portraits on the panels and hung from ropes dangling between each panel. The platform being used for the altar had been completely redone in white and green, with flowers and wreaths and garlands in a variety of beautiful colors arranged to form numerous holy symbols. Beautiful stained glass windows depicting gods and legendary Pokémon (none of which included the disgraced ones working for the Nihilators, of course) covered the wall rising from the back of the platform. In the middle of the wall facing the aisle was a massive statue of the front half of Arceus with a smaller Rayquaza wrapped around his torso that gazed out at the crowd over the statue's head. Beneath the canopy formed by the statue's raised body and front legs was the altar, a beautifully ornate marble plinth covered in jewels, gold filigree resembling dragons, and an engraving of Arceus's wheel on the top. The plinth stood in the center of a rich white and green carpet covering the stage, in the middle of an embroidered golden Arceus wheel with a green and gold Rayquaza coiled around it. Hovering next to the plinth was Latias, wearing a beautiful set of white robes that glowed in the dark and emitted a peaceful and radiant glow. This was because she had woven them out of literal strands of light, making them a bit more impressive than any mortal garment and making a few guests envious because they looked positively drab in comparison. She wore a glittering necklace with a representation of Arceus's wheel around her neck and an austere but magnificent circlet on her brow, also made of solidified light. Personally, Rayquaza thought she'd never looked more beautiful.

"She's never looked more beautiful," Rayquaza sighed from his seat in the front row along with the other family and friends of the brides and grooms, giving him an excellent view of the Guardian of Light.

"You probably think that every time you see her," Latios grunted. "You'd probably even think that even if she was covered in mud."

"Of course I would. That's love for you," Rayquaza said unapologetically. "I'm sure you'll feel the same way towards a she-dragon some day."

"I hope so," Latios said with a sigh. He grimaced and tugged at the black bowtie that had been wrapped a little too tightly around his neck, having difficulty reaching up that high with his arms due to how the stiff sleeves of his tuxedo restricted their movement. "Ugh, why do I have to wear this? Can't I just go nude or something?"

"It's very impolite to do so," Rayquaza said.

"But I'm naked almost all the time anyway! Most of us are!" Latios protested.

"Which is why we should wear clothes during very special occasions such as this, to designate how important and extraordinary they are," Rayquaza countered.

"…Huh. I…guess that makes sense," Latios said reluctantly as he tried to scratch an itch only to find once again that he couldn't quite reach it. "Still, why do I have to wear something as uncomfortable as this? I mean, it looks nice, but I can barely breathe! I don't even know if I could fly in this…"

"You're not supposed to, and really, you have no right to complain. That suit is downright luxurious compared to my getup," Rayquaza said mournfully, looking down at the ridiculously ornate robes he was wearing. They were yellow and green and patterned to resemble the markings on Rayquaza's divine serpentine length, but it was almost impossible to tell that due to all the dragons embroidered in actual gold covering his form and the hundreds of glittering jewels studding almost every surface. And even _those_ were nearly impossible to see due to all the necklaces, bracelets, anklets, rings, collars, medallions, and other kinds of jewelry hanging all over his body. His skin had been covered in green and gold makeup, his teeth dyed red, black contacts with yellow irises had been put over his eyes, and fake horns had been glued to the back of his skull to make him better resemble his deified form. In addition, he was wearing a vaguely egg-shaped and top-heavy crown that was at least as big, if not a little bigger, than his entire body that resembled his deified form coiled around a huge gemstone made out to look like the Earth, with all the territories belonging to the Draconian Empire outlined and highlighted. There was so much finery covering the Bagon, in fact, it was almost impossible to tell there was a Pokémon beneath it all.

Latios looked at Rayquaza's ceremonial garb and struggled not to burst into laughter, since he was fairly sure that if he did, Nuken's brother's ninjas would slit his throat. "*snerk* I-I suppose you have a point…heheheheh…Wh-why the heck are you wearing something like that, anyway?" he coughed, trying not to laugh.

"I didn't have a choice," Rayquaza said miserably. "I'm the Dragon God King, ruler of the Draconian Empire and the political and religious leader of millions of Pokémon around the world. I'm _required_ to wear incredibly fancy and overdone clothes at any major social event I have to attend, whether I want to or not, to demonstrate my wealth and power to everyone else."

"What, they made you wear that sort of thing back when you were…you know, big, too?" Latios asked, his mind boggling at the thought of a much larger Rayquaza wearing a similar outfit.

Rayquaza tried to shake his head, but could barely move his neck due to the weight of the crown he was wearing. "Thankfully, no, my size was usually considered to be enough for most occasions. Since I towered over all other Dragons there was no need for me to wear much to draw attention to myself, since all eyes couldn't help but be drawn to me anyway. I could get away with wearing just a few baubles and jewels, so long as they were _extremely_ exquisite and valuable ones that nobody else could dream of matching."

Latios made a face. "That sounds kinda…petty. And vain."

"It wasn't my idea! Apparently showing off is necessary to remind everyone that you're the boss or something," Rayquaza grunted. "Dragons respect power and wealth, and since I'm their king I need to show that I'm the most powerful and wealthiest of all. Otherwise, they're less likely to listen to me."

"Oh. I guess that makes sense," Latios admitted. "Then why are you wearing that Mankey suit now?"

"Because I'm not big anymore," Rayquaza said unhappily.

"Ohhhh," Latios said, finally getting it. "…Yeah, that sucks."

"Tell me about it," Rayquaza grunted. "On the bright side, at least this isn't _nearly_ as bad as what I was going to have to wear if I wound up performing the ceremony instead. Thank goodness Latias was willing to take my place!"

"Yeah, really, especially since I seem to remember there being a lot of Pokémon who weren't quite happy about having you perform the service," Latios said.

While Delia had been able to resolve most of the myriad problems that had arisen in the wedding planning through equal parts kindness and terrifying intimidation, the matter of who was going to perform the ceremony was one of the biggest points of contention and one of the few issues she was unable to solve on her own. Quite a lot of Pokémon were going to be married, and not all of them belonged to the same religious denomination. Most of the townsPokémon were Arcean or belonged to related faiths. All the Draconians, on the other hand, were Dragonian and therefore worshipped Rayquaza. Rosa was Shayminite, although in practice she acted more like a Mewrian. Goku and Ete were both from more primitive cultures that gave devotion to ancestral spirits and the like out of fear of drawing too much attention from the divine. And Zorra was semi-agnostic. (She believed the gods existed—who didn't?—but didn't really feel like kissing up to any of them. That was probably why most Zoroark, who shared similar beliefs, lived in hidden villages, come to think of it.) As such, it would be necessary for the priest who presided over the wedding to be someone everyone could recognize and trust.

After a lot of deliberation, arguing, and a couple of brawls, Master Yamiri's name had come up as top pick, since, although he was Arcean, he had studied most of the world's religions and was considered to be fairly knowledgeable in their rules and rituals, including weddings. He would have been ideal, except that Nuken was predictably obstinate and refused to be married by anyone other than a genuine Dragonian priest, rather than someone who knew the rites but didn't truly _believe._ Much to Rayquaza's alarm, he was Nuken's top pick for priest because he was the titular head of the Dragonians, and then some of the Draconians who were getting married became excited at the thought of being wed by their lord and master and started supporting Nuken's choice, deaf to Rayquaza's protests on the matter and not caring much that not everyone else was a Dragonian and so might want the ceremony to be performed by someone that wouldn't result in their marriage being considered invalid by their own religion.

Fortunately for everyone, an alternative candidate acceptable to all was produced before fists could start flying. Latias came forward and volunteered to perform the ceremony. Since she was a legitimate deity, that meant any marriage she performed would have to be officially recognized by virtually every religious denomination, and in addition, due to her status as Guardian of Light she was not only high-ranking in the Arcean and Dragonian pantheons but present in other faiths as well thanks to the myriad feats of heroism she'd accomplished or been in some way responsible for across the Omniverse. This compromise was sufficient to satisfy just about everyone, even Nuken, and anyone who wasn't satisfied was ignored and outnumbered by those who were, so had no choice but to acquiesce. With that dilemma resolved, the next major hurdle to clear was who was going to handle the catering, but that's a story for another day.

"You know, this begs the question of who's going to do your wedding," Latios commented, having reluctantly resigned himself to the knowledge that his sister was getting married to Rayquaza at some point and there was nothing he could do about it. "I mean, who on Earth has high enough authority to sanction such a marriage? You guys outrank pretty much every other religious official on the planet."

"We'll deal with that problem when we get there," Rayquaza said vaguely, the same worrying thought having occurred to him more than once. "I'm sure we can find someone…I mean, we've been married before, after all—several times, what with reincarnation and all—so we must've found some way to get around it."

"I suppose so," Latios admitted.

"Ah…when you find someone you wish to, er, be with, we'd be happy to wed you," Rayquaza said. "Latios or I, I mean. Unless you'd rather someone else do it?"

"Um…yeah, I think I might," Latios said. "Not that I'm not flattered, but that kinda seems a little…awkward, if you know what I mean. For my sister or…future brother-in-law to handle my wedding."

"Oh," Rayquaza said, feeling a mix of relief as well as disappointment.

"But, uh, thanks anyway," Latios said quickly. "I appreciate the thought."

"You're welcome," Rayquaza said.

"Hmm. So this is what it's like to be part of the audience for a wedding. Interesting," Master Yamiri, who was sitting with the other guests rather than up on stage since Latias had taken his position as minister for the ceremony, commented, brushing some dust off his tuxedo, which he hadn't worn in centuries and had been gathering Mothimballs in the back of his closet for quite some time. "You know, I can't recall the last wedding I've been to where I've been seated with the guests rather than standing at the altar. In fact, I can't even remember the last wedding I've been to where I wasn't performing the ceremony! Quite the novel experience."

"It's one for me, too, since I can't remember the last wedding I've ever been to…period," Sabrina said.

"Nobody ever invited you to theirs?" Yamiri asked sympathetically.

"I've never really had enough friends who _would_ invite me," Sabrina confessed. "That, and…being around so many people, having so many foreign thoughts and possible futures swimming in my head…it's rather uncomfortable."

"If it's getting to be too much, you could always leave," Yamiri said, looking concerned.

Sabrina shook her head. "No. I have to see this through. If I don't, it's like I would be running away from the future. As a seer, that is not something I can allow myself to do. No matter…how much it hurts."

"…You know, I was in love once," Yamiri said wistfully, understanding her pain, to an extent. "That didn't work out either. Although it was less from her not noticing me and being interested in someone else than our careers taking us in separate paths. We kept in touch for a while, but…I haven't heard from her for a very long time. She's probably moved on." He sighed. "It's probably for the best…I wasn't really the right mon for a womon of her position, anyway."

"She hasn't moved on," Sabrina said suddenly, her eyes getting an eerie faraway look in their depths. "You will be reunited with her sooner than you think."

Yamiri started. "R-really? How do you…oh, of course, you just had a vision."

Sabrina nodded. "Indeed, I did."

"Well…well that's wonderful news!" the Sableye said excitedly. "Thank you, Sabrina! But…I don't suppose you could tell me when, or how?"

Sabrina shook her head. "I'm afraid not, sorry."

Yamiri sighed. "Oh well…it figures." He perked up. "Still…to see _her_ again…that is very good news indeed. My feelings for her haven't changed despite our years apart…I am delighted to hear it's the same for her, though somewhat saddened as well, if it means she has been unable to find a companion in all that time…"

"Actually, ah, she has," Sabrina said awkwardly. "Several, in fact."

"…Oh. Well…" Yamiri said, looking disgruntled. "I…suppose that's to be expected…but, ah, you said she still…"

"Cares for you deeply? Very much so, more than she ever did the other mons—and womons—she's been with," Sabrina said.

"Hmm. Well, I guess that's something," Yamiri said, mollified. "I eagerly anticipate our reunion." He frowned. "But…what of you, Sabrina? Do you see nobody in your future?"

"…It has always been easier for me to see others' futures than my own," Sabrina confessed. "If I am to be with someone someday, at the moment I am unaware of it."

"I see. I'm sorry to hear that," Yamiri said apologetically.

"It's all right. I am…used to it," Sabrina said resignedly.

Yamiri put a claw on her knee. "You will find someone someday, Sabrina. I am certain of it. Arceus teaches us that everyone can find love, if they only look for it."

"What do you think I've been doing?" Sabrina asked bitterly.

"Living all by yourself atop the Hill of the Ancients, far from everyone else, including any potential suitors? And pining away for Aaron?" Yamiri asked.

"…True," Sabrina said grudgingly. "Perhaps…perhaps it is time I really started looking…but that will have to wait until after this wedding."

"Maybe not. Lots of people hook up during a wedding or the following reception," Yamiri said. "I've seen it happen many times."

"And how many of those relationships last very long?" Sabrina asked skeptically.

"More than you'd think, especially in this town," Yamiri confided.

Sabrina considered this. "…I see. Then…maybe I _should_ give that a try…"

"You definitely should," Yamiri said, a warm smile on his face. "I think you'll find that you'll be pleasantly surprised."

"When's this thing going to start already?" Raiki complained from his seat a few chairs down where he was sitting with the rest of his family, struggling with the sash of his formal kimono, which he was somewhat unpleased to discover did not fit as well as it used to. "It feels like we've been waiting forever!"

"It's only been ten minutes," Collette, who looked lovely with ribbons on her head spikes and an adorable white kimono with red and blue triangles decorating it to match her color scheme, pointed out.

"Ten minutes too long!" Raiki said as his stomach growled. "The sooner this starts, the sooner we can eat…I had to skip breakfast because your grandmother spent all morning stuffing us in these suits and refusing to let us leave the house until we looked absolutely perfect. If I don't get some food in me soon, I'm going to pass out from hunger!"

"Didn't you stick some snacks in your pockets?" Pichu, wearing a small yellow and black kimono, asked. He wasn't completely comfortable in his formal dress either, but at least his actually fit him since he hadn't been putting on as many pounds as his father lately.

"Your mother found them all," Raiki said miserably.

"That's right, I did," Delia said as she absent-mindedly adjusted the flower she'd pinned behind one ear. "You'd get stains and crumbs all over your nice kimono if you did that."

"So what? We can just clean it later! I'm hungry now!" Raiki moaned.

"Here you go, Uncle Raiki," Zachary, dressed in a snazzy red and black tuxedo with a red bow tie, a ribbon on his tail, a fedora and a pair of fancy sunglasses said, conjuring an illusionary sub sandwich and flinging it at the elder Raichu.

"Oh boy!" Raiki said eagerly, grabbing the sandwich and raising it to his mouth.

Delia snatched it from him. "Oh no you don't! You'll get crumbs all over your suit! And besides, it's just an illusion, it can't really fill your stomach!"

"It can if I want it to," Raiki protested, desperately trying to take back the sandwich. "That's how illusions work! In fact, that also means there won't be any actual crumbs, since it's not real, and therefore there's no reason I can't eat it!"

"Sorry, but no, you're going to have to wait to eat until after the wedding like everyone else," Delia said sternly as she tossed the sandwich away, the illusion fading before it could hit the ground. Raiki struggled not to burst into tears as he saw his meal disappear.

Zachary shrugged. "Oh well. Them's the breaks." He created a rice ball for himself to eat, and was rather miffed when Collette took it away from him. "Hey!"

"If Grandpa can't eat, then neither should you," the Togetic lectured him, batting away Junior's trunk without even looking when he tried to snatch the treat from her.

"Oh, fine," the Zorua huffed as he slouched in his seat.

"Don't sit like that, dear, you'll wrinkle your clothes," Delia said.

"What do I care? They're illusions too," he said diffidently.

"So, is this how you land-dwellers go about mating for life?" the Phione whom had washed up on the beach of Firefly Bay a couple of days ago and been unfairly beaten half to death by the young Rescue Teams asked Matthias, whom it was sitting next to. Delia had immediately fallen in love with the adorable Sea Drifter and adopted it into the family, displacing Matthias as the newest addition to the family. (Well, that position technically went to the egg Delia had just laid, but it hadn't hatched yet, so Phione took its place until the new Pichu was inevitably born.) They had decided to name their new child Mizula, which the Phione wasn't sure what to make of, since it had never had a name before. Its father had always referred to it as, 'you' or 'Offspring Number 489.' It also wasn't sure what to make of the sea-blue kimono it was wearing, since it had never had clothes before either. "Because this is completely different from how we did it back in the ocean. Well, I suppose some marine Pokémon did it like this, but I wouldn't really know since the only example we had growing up was our father, who didn't actually need mates since he could reproduce asexually but occasionally took a female (or male) who caught his eye, used them for a while, and discarded them when he lost interest or he spotted someone more interesting."

Everyone gave him shocked looks. "Your father was a very bad mon," Raiki said finally, a sickened expression on her face.

Mizula sighed. "Yeah, I know…he was supposed to have been better once, but he's been like this as long as I've been alive."

"How long is that?" Sapphire, wearing ribbons in her ears and on her tail and a skirt around her body due to the difficulties involved in making a dress that would fit her spherical form asked.

"Dunno…a couple hundred years?" Mizula said uncertainly.

"Wow! Really?" asked an amazed Junior.

"But you don't look any older than me!" said the surprised Pichu.

"Well, looks aren't everything," Zachary pointed out. "He's a demigod, after all. They age differently from most mortals."

"He's certainly aged better than me…" Delia muttered.

There was a pause. She elbowed Raiki. "Ow! What was that for?" he complained.

"You were supposed to tell me I've aged wonderfully and I look as beautiful as I did decades ago!" she snapped.

"Huh? Oh, er, yeah. Right. Everything you just said is true," Raiki said quickly. Delia growled and crossed her arms, not particularly satisfied.

"You're really that old?" Sapphire asked wonderingly.

Mizula nodded. "Yeah. We're pretty resilient and long-lived, what with us being made of water and all. It's almost impossible for us to die, really. Complete dispersal is probably one of the only things that can outright kill us, other than getting hurt so bad we can no longer maintain a conscious hold on our body, and we just…dissipate into the sea."

"Then am I correct in guessing that a lot of your siblings died after your dad joined the Nihilators? Because if they're anything like as bad as we've heard…" Collette said.

"Even worse than the barbarians, somehow," Raiki murmured, shaking his head.

"Actually, Dad forbade them from touching us," Mizula said, much to their surprise. "He was willing to work with them, but he was also well aware of their…proclivities, especially regarding children, so he threatened to drown anyone who tried to hurt us. And the ones who were Water Pokémon he'd feed to Kyogre."

"He really did that for you guys?" asked the surprised Pichu.

"Well yeah, he was evil, but…you know, he was still our dad. He…loved us," Mizula said awkwardly.

"Wasn't he going to kill you guys when you stood up to him?" Zachary asked.

Mizula winced. "That's because he thought we were betraying him. He has…had abandonment issues. That…probably won't be a problem anymore." He coughed. "Um, anyway, back to my question: is this how you land-dwellers go about mating?"

"Pretty much, yeah," Raiki said. "Except it's usually not quite as fancy or overdone when my wife isn't involved." Delia glared at him. "What? It's true!"

"Well, no, that's not completely true," said Matthias, feeling very uncomfortable in his purple and tan kimono, which, much like Mizula, was one of the first sets of clothing he'd ever worn before. "This is how Pokémon who live in towns go about mating for life. Where I come from, it usually involves two or more males competing for the affections of a female who's currently in heat, with whoever kills the most rivals getting the privilege of claiming and impregnating the female. Then eventually a bigger, stronger male comes along, kills the female's current mate as well as her offspring, then claims and impregnates her, and the cycle begins anew."

"…Oh my," said the disturbed Mizula, as everyone else looked at Matthias in horror. "That sounds…horrible…"

"Oh, it was. In fact, next to getting killed and eaten by another Pokémon, that's pretty much how I figured I would die, since most of my kind don't make it to adulthood, hence why our females give birth to so many in one sitting," Matthias said nonchalantly. "I thought it was inevitable, since my dad was the third or fourth male to claim my mom and she still had a few good years left in her before she became too old and had to be thrown to the Mightyenas, so there was still plenty of time for another male to take her and kill me and the rest of my litter. Life in the wild was not fun. I really don't see why so many of the Pokémon we've saved—like Aunt Molly—want to go back to that."

"It's because wild Pokémon are stupid," Junior said bluntly.

"Junior!" Delia gasped.

"What? They are! They want to live in the dirt and fight and kill each other for food and other stupid reasons and murder little kids just because they didn't make them and terrible stuff like that!" Junior said angrily.

"Civilized Pokémon do things like that, too," Zachary pointed out.

"Yes, but we have television and indoor plumbing, which automatically makes us superior," Junior said smugly.

Raiki shrugged. "The boy's got a point." Delia glared at him. "What?"

"Are you forgetting that our son is one of those 'stupid' wild Pokémon?" Delia hissed.

"Um, no I'm not," Matthias said. "I'm totally over that. I actually agree with Junior."

"Oh," Delia said, deflating. "But your _aunt_ is a wild Pokémon!"

"And completely insane," Matthias said flatly.

"Due to the torture she suffered at the paws of the barbarians, not because there's something inherently stupid about wild Pokémon," Collette argued.

"But she's refusing help and treatment to make her less completely insane. Isn't that stupid?" Pichu countered.

"Only because she's been driven mad to the point of paranoia. If we could earn her trust, she'd probably become much more manageable," Sapphire said.

Matthias snorted. "Good luck with that. She doesn't seem in the mood to trust anyone right now…especially me."

"You really do need to try to help her, dear," Delia said. "She's family."

"Yeah, but so are you guys, and at least you didn't try to kidnap me from the Pokémon Center last night while we were recovering from that fight against Tiny's mom," Matthias pointed out.

Sapphire snickered. "It was funny watching Nurse Joy drive her off with a broom…"

"Hey, how is she doing, anyway? Tiny's mom, I mean, not Matthias's crazy aunt," Pichu asked, eager to hear news about the health of their very first rescue. By successfully completing yesterday's mission and not only recovering the Phione egg but Tiny's mother, Team Skull, and getting some more clues as to what the heck Team Rocket was up to, Team Awesome had been declared an official Rescue Team and would be given a base of their own and an emblem they could put on their flag and badges as soon as they thought of something awesome enough to live up to their name. In addition, Raiki was so impressed by Pichu's successful Volt Tackle that he declared his son would receive a name as soon as things had settled down enough for them to hold a naming ceremony and he had time to think of a suitable appellation for his child's heroic feat. Pichu's joy at this was slightly mitigated by the fact that Pikachu had seemed honestly proud and happy for him rather than insanely jealous, like he had hoped.

"Still convalescing. She's been through a lot, and it may be a little while before she's fully recovered," Delia said.

"But when she's conscious for longer than a few minutes, I'm sure she'll be more than happy to thank you kids for helping to rescue her," Raiki said proudly, starting to ruffle Pichu's hair only to stop when Delia coughed loudly, reminding him that she'd spent several minutes styling Pichu's fur _just_ right and didn't want it messed up.

"And I bet Tiny would love to speak to her!" Collette said. She frowned. "He seemed so excited when we told him last night that we'd saved his mom…but he looked completely exhausted from fighting Bellum. And he and Dad and Uncle Pikachu and everyone else should be fighting Doctor Tarantulas right now, shouldn't they?"

"…Yeah, they should be…" Raiki admitted.

Junior made a face. "Doesn't seem quite right for them to be duking it out with an evil cyborg spider while we're sitting at a wedding…"

Zachary nodded. "I know, we should totally be fighting an evil cyborg spider too!"

Everyone sweatdropped. "I…uh, don't think we're quite ready for that kind of thing yet," Pichu said.

"And hopefully, we never will be," Matthias said.

"Please, we're more than ready for something like that, especially now that I'm a part of Team Awesome!" the Zorua bragged.

Matthias blinked. "Wait, what?"

"Um, hang on, I don't remember you being a part of our team," Pichu said in confusion.

"Well, I am now. I just invited myself on," Zachary said.

"What! You can't do that! Can he do that?" Pichu asked his father.

"Well, normally _you_ have to invite him, so no," Raiki said. Pichu sighed in relief. "Which is why you're going to let him in."

"What? Why?" Pichu cried incredulously.

"Yeah, why can't he be on _our_ team instead?" Sapphire asked.

"I don't want to be on your team," Zachary said.

"Why, what's wrong with our team?" Junior asked indignantly.

"Did you manage to defeat a crazed Tyranitar fueled by the power of Shadow?" Zachary asked pointedly.

"Well…no, but-" Collette started.

"I rest my case," Zachary said. "Plus, I'm closer to Pichu and Matthias in age, and it'd be easier for me to get into a team that's just starting out rather than one that's already been around for a while so I don't mess up team dynamics."

"…Well, I guess that makes sense," Sapphire said reluctantly.

"Well, fine! Go ahead and join their team instead of ours! We didn't want you to be on Team GX anyway!" Junior huffed.

"And I didn't want to be on it in the first place. I'm glad we worked that out," Zachary said cheerfully, causing Junior to sweatdrop.

"We haven't worked anything out! Why do I have to let him on the team?" Pichu asked.

"What, you mean you don't want a skilled illusionist on your team? I'd think he'd come in handy," Delia pointed out.

"What? No, th-that's not what I…er, I mean, yeah, it would be useful to have him, but-" Pichu spluttered.

"Then what's the problem?" Delia asked.

"Well…I…he…he didn't ask," Pichu said lamely, realizing how pathetic an excuse that was even as he said it.

Zachary rolled his eyes. "Oh, fine. Can I be on the team?"

"Um…I…guess so," Pichu said awkwardly.

"Does he have to be? He kind of creeps me out…" Matthias murmured. "He keeps looking at me like he's going to eat me…"

Zachary grinned at the Rattata and licked his lips. "Oh, I have no intention of _eating_ you." Matthias was not particularly reassured.

"I'm sure it's nothing to worry about," Raiki said, who didn't believe that for a second but didn't think it was that much of a problem. "And besides, Aaron and I have always dreamed of our kids being on a Rescue Team together…"

"But Zachary isn't Aaron's kid," Pichu pointed out.

"Details," Raiki said carelessly.

"I will be in a little while, if that helps," Zachary said cheerfully.

"Yes, it does," Raiki said. "It won't be quite what I expected, but it'll still be good enough. We also always dreamed our kids would get married and form their own Rescue Team, though it seems like that probably won't happen for a few more years."

"I've already started planning it for when it happens, though, so that when the time comes, we'll be prepared!" Delia said.

"That's…that's great…thanks…" Pichu said awkwardly.

"…These new parents disturb me," Mizula said after a moment.

"Join the club," Matthias said morosely.

"Speaking of which, wanna join ours?" Zachary asked the Phione.

"He can't, junior teams like ours can only have a maximum of four Pokémon," Collette interrupted before Mizula could say anything.

"Oh. Darn," Zachary said in disappointment.

"That's a relief, I was going to say no anyway," Mizula said, letting out a grateful sigh. "I don't particularly like fighting."

"What? Blasphemy! Every member of this family can fight! In fact, I fully intend to begin teaching you how to use a sword after the wedding!" Raiki declared.

"Wh-what? B-but I don't want to-" the startled Mizula protested.

"Don't bother arguing, he won't listen," Matthias said wearily as Raiki excitedly started detailing all the rather grueling and painstaking ways he was going to use to make the poor Phione into a 'real mon.' "I've tried my best, but he doesn't take no for an answer. At least you don't have to be trained how to walk on two legs, since you don't have any."

"O-oh dear…" Mizula murmured, looking rather worried, just as it should have been. "That…does not sound pleasant."

"It's not," Pichu said cheerfully. "But hey, this means we have a new training buddy!"

"And Dad will spend less time brutalizing me and more on the new kid," Matthias said with grim humor. "Sounds good to me." Mizula gulped.

Sapphire giggled, until Collette said, "You do realize that's going to be you too once you grow arms, right?"

The Azurill swallowed. "Gee, thanks for reminding me…"

"Glad I don't have to worry about that," Junior said cheerfully. "Since I've been banned from ever holding a sword again and all."

"Lucky git…" Matthias grumbled.

"Well, good luck with that. Good thing I don't have any of that to worry about," Zachary said smugly.

"You do realize Aaron's probably going to work you just as hard, don't you?" Pichu asked, a sinister grin forming on his face.

Zachary froze. "But…but I can't use Aura."

"What, you think that's _all_ he knows? I'm sure there's tons of martial arts techniques he's going to try and teach you," Matthias said, a similar grin appearing on his face.

"B-but I can already fight fine! And I know tons of illusion tricks; I don't need to know that sort of thing!" Zachary protested.

Pichu snorted. "Oh please, like that's going to stop him?"

Matthias nodded. "He'll probably just give you a serious look and tell you that you can't always rely on trickery and illusions and you need to know how to fight properly just in case you can't fall back on your special ability."

"But I can _already_ fight! Meema taught me how!" Zachary said.

"Yes, like a _Zorua._ Aaron'll want you to learn how to fight like something else, 'just in case'" Pichu said.

"Yes, Rattata aren't supposed to walk on their hind legs or use swords, and yet Raiki has me doing both. I can only wonder what Aaron will have you do?" Matthias speculated. It was all he could do not to laugh malevolently when Zachary started hyperventilating, eyes wide with terror.

"Now I'm starting to wonder if getting Aaron and Meema together was such a good idea after all…" Zachary said anxiously.

"Too late now," Pichu said cheerfully. "It's something you'll have to live with for the rest of your life." Zachary moaned.

Delia rolled her eyes. "It's not going to be that bad."

"Yeah, it'll be worse," Raiki said. Delia frowned at him. "What? It will be!"

"Wasn't there supposed to be a wedding going on at some point?" an exasperated Collette asked. "Whatever happened to that?"

As if on cue, the wedding march started playing. "Oh, finally! What was taking so long?" Raiki complained. "I swear, we didn't keep the guests at our wedding waiting for this long! And we were allowed to get something to eat beforehand!"

"That's because you wouldn't let me plan our wedding, you hired someone else to do it," Delia said, glaring at him.

Raiki sighed in exasperation. "What, you're still hung up on that? For the love of Arceus, womon, it was years ago, let it go already! What do you want me to do, divorce and re-marry you and let you plan the wedding the second time?"

"That would be a good start, yes," Delia said. Raiki facepalmed.

The other guests seemed to feel the same way as Raiki did, and turned in their seats to look with relief and impatience down the aisle as the town gates opened and, one by one, the brides and grooms walked out, arm in arm or the equivalent as they strode down the red carpet towards the waiting altar. As each couple passed through an archway, the soldiers standing on either side saluted the soon-to-be-newlyweds. Flower petals began wafting down from the sky, dropped by Draconian airships hovering over the ceremony with silenced engines and stealth cloaks engaged so as not to be too obtrusive and ruin the atmosphere. (Unfortunately, this caused several wild Flying-types who had not been informed that there was a wedding going on and somehow missed the dozens of Dragons patrolling the perimeter and telling them to stay away to crash into the invisible ships and kill themselves, adding feathers to the rain of petals. Most of the guests were unaware of this and just thought it was a very pretty effect, and later complimented Delia for making the ceremony seem that much more spectacular. Despite having no idea what they were talking about, she happily took full credit.) Flowers and trees sprouted in the fields surrounding the wedding, coaxed out by Grass-type gardeners (And incidentally ruining what was left of the crops that had been planted there by the local farmers. Even the big payoff they'd received wasn't enough to keep them from wincing when they saw what was being done to their land.) The figures on the portraits next to the guests started coming to life, depicting scenes of how each couple had met and fallen in love, and some of the events and adventures that had brought them to the present day. (Some of the more violent, gory, or raunchy stuff was kept out, though. It _was_ a wedding, after all.) Holograms of the walk down the aisle were projected into the air, so everyone could see what was going on, especially the guests who were furthest from the aisle. This allowed everyone to see the soon-to-be-weds, and more importantly, what they were wearing.

Nuken and Missy were first in line, since everyone had figured that allowing him to get to the altar before everyone else would make him happy and keep him from griping as much about the enormous concessions he'd been forced to make in agreeing to be wed with everyone else rather than getting a fully Dragonian ceremony presided over by Rayquaza. So far this seemed to have worked. The Shedinja was wearing his formal dress uniform, a yellow and green mess jacket with unattached soutache braid and epaulets, gold studs and links, service stripes, a black bow tie over a white tuxedo shirt, his general's cap, a short cape and ornamental saber (that wasn't entirely ornamental), and the numerous badges and medals he'd earned from his centuries of service to the Draconian Empire. As one might expect, there were quite a lot of them.

Missy, floating next to him, wore a red wedding gown that was quite a bit longer than she was tall, so that the hem lightly touched the ground. Emeralds and yellow and green sequins were embroidered to create patterns in the form of dragons. Her pink pearl necklace had been swapped out for one of huge emeralds held in gold settings shaped like dragon's claws, and the gems had been carved to resemble dragon's eyes. She wore a cloche-style wedding veil with a train longer than her gown that, for some reason, had cat ears on top of it. She'd insisted on it. The dressmakers had struggled to pretty them up and make them look like something else, but they were still clearly cat ears. (At least she'd been talked out of having makeup 'whiskers' applied to her cheeks.) However, the joyous look on her face, the way she carried herself as she floated down the aisle, and the fact that floating right beside her was one of the most dangerous and powerful mons on the planet made the cat ears look as if they belonged and were an integral part of her dress rather than something embarrassing, and everyone later agreed (very loudly, in case Nuken's minions were listening) that she would have looked terrible without them.

"Oh, Nuken!" Missy gushed as she took everything in. "When you proposed, I was elated, and knew you would strive to make our wedding magnificent, but…this? This is more than I ever dreamed!"

"Only the best for you, my dear," the Shedinja said gruffly.

"This is even _better_ than the best!" Missy said. "This is the happiest day of my unlife…"

Nuken hesitated, a flicker of surprise passing over his face. "It…it's mine, as well…" he murmured, somewhat astonished to realize this.

"See?" she teased, leaning against him. "I keep telling people you have a heart in there somewhere…it can be hard to see sometimes, but I know it's there!"

"…Yes. So do I," Nuken said, an almost unfamiliar feeling bubbling effusively through him. It took him several seconds to realize it was joy.

"My goodness! I don't think I've ever seen Nuken this happy!" said an amazed Rayquaza as Nuken and Missy drew near.

"…He's happy? How can you tell?" asked a skeptical Latios.

"When you've been around a person long enough, you learn how to read their mannerisms. And trust me when I say he's happier than I can ever remember him being," Rayquaza assured him.

"Well, if you say so," Latios said, still dubious. "Though if I were him, I'd be somewhat embarrassed that my future wife was still wearing those ridic-" Rayquaza coughed loudly, and Latios froze when he suddenly realized there was a Ninjask claw being held to his throat. "I mean, delighted that my future wife was wearing those absolutely delightful cat ears on our wedding day!" he said a little shrilly. He didn't breathe again until the Ninjask claw retracted.

"Would you? I think they're a little silly myself," Rayquaza said in amusement.

Latios squealed and flinched…and blinked when nothing bad happened. "Hey, how come you can get away with saying that?"

"Because _I'm_ the Emperor," Rayquaza said smugly. "You're just a guest." Latios snarled.

Just next to them, General Tiamat was fuming and clenching and unclenching her teeth. "Let it go," General Fafnir said quietly, seeing the look on her face. He and all the other commanding officers of the Draconian military were wearing their dress uniforms.

"I…_can't_. I'm trying, but…but I just don't get it!" the Garchomp hissed in frustration. "What does he see in her?"

"A better question might be what does _she_ see in him? Or you, for that matter?" Smaug asked wryly, reflexively bringing a hand up to his neck in time to keep it from being touched by the Ninjask that materialized behind him. He glared at the ninja, who gulped and quickly disappeared.

"She's just a civilian! She's never fought a single battle in her unlife!" Tiamat growled. "I've sacrificed more than she can possibly imagine for the Empire, as has Nuken! Every luxury and privilege she takes for granted is because of the risks we take and the blood we shed in the name of His Excellency! What does she know of any of that? What has _she_ ever sacrificed, dwelling in the Sky Tower, so far above the battlefields and sacrifices of soldiers like us?"

"Maybe that's why he wants her," Nidhogg said.

Tiamat blinked. "Huh?"

"Almost all his life and afterlife, our esteemed commander has fought in battle after battle and war after war for the glory of Rayquaza. It's what he's good at, what he loves. He has the temperament and the bloodlust for it, the killing edge. But sometimes even the most skilled killer or military mon can get tired of death day after day. Sometimes they want a little slice of normalcy, something like what most civilians experience and take for granted on a regular basis. Not a lot, not necessarily enough to give up fighting forever, just…something stable, peaceful. A reminder that a soldier isn't all they are or can be. And Missy, sweet, lovable, harmless, motormouthed, cat-eared Missy can give that to him. Someone he doesn't always have to be hard towards or intimidate into submission, because she loves him just the way he is—for some reason—and always will. Are you certain that you could give him something like that?" Nidhogg asked.

"…I…" Tiamat sagged. "I don't know."

"Let it go," Fafnir said again. "Can't you see how happy Nuken is? Do you really wish to take that from him?"

"Not that you could. Well, unless you did something really stupid," Drakor commented. "Which, um, I'm totally not suggesting you do or anything!"

"Yeah, especially since the ninjas would cut you down before you took a few steps," Smaug said.

"That's right, we would," a Ninjask who had not been there a second ago said. Everyone looked at him. He turned red. "Oh, crap, did I say that out loud? Er, forget you saw me!" He threw down a smoke bomb, and as the smoke cleared…he was still standing there. He squeaked in alarm when he realized they could see him and flew off as fast as he could.

"…Huh," Drakor said.

"I'm guessing that was a rookie," Nidhogg said. "Funny, I'd have expected only pros to be on the security for this wedding." He waited for a moment. There was no reply. He frowned in disappointment. He'd hoped one of the ninjas would slip up and answer his question, but apparently any others in earshot were more disciplined than the last one.

"Anyway," Fafnir said loudly. "Nuken's happy and you shouldn't begrudge him that."

Tiamat sighed. "You're right. I shouldn't. I'm upset…I wish it could be me up there…but…he's made his choice, and there's nothing I can do about it. If this is truly what makes him happy…then as his subordinate and his…friend…I have no choice but to stand aside. I shall do my best to be happy for him."

The other generals nodded approvingly. "That's the spirit!" Drakor said.

Nidhogg nodded. "Yeah, and don't feel too bad…you'll find someone else someday. There are plenty of other guys out there who'd be lucky to have a lady like you!"

"None of them would be quite like Nuken, though," Tiamat said sadly.

"There are some who might see that as a good thing," Smaug said, absent-mindedly deflecting another ninja attack. He frowned as the Ninjask vanished, a thought occurring to him. "Hey, I just realized something…where's Koga? He's Nuken's brother; shouldn't he be here for his special day?"

"Nah, he's a spook. Doesn't officially exist. He could never show his face at a big public event like this!" Drakor said.

"Actually, I'm right here," said Koga, who was sitting right next to him.

Drakor started. "Ack! Holy crap, how long have you been there?"

"The whole time," Koga said.

"Then why didn't we notice you sooner?" asked the astonished Smaug.

"I'm a ninja. I'm very good at not being noticed," Koga pointed out. The generals nodded, agreeing that this was true.

"So are any of the rest of your family here?" Fafnir asked.

Koga shook his head. "Sadly, no. Janine is on a very important mission and Hansen is dealing with certain…matters in the Mirage Kingdom."

Nidhogg frowned. "By, uh, 'matters,' do you mean…"

"I'm really not at liberty to say," Koga said evasively.

"Right. Figures," Nidhogg grunted.

"So…uh, Koga, you're married, right?" Drakor asked, changing the subject. "Was your wedding anything like this?"

"I'm really not at liberty to say," Koga said evasively.

"Oh, come on!" Drakor said.

"Is there anything you _are_ at liberty to say?" Smaug asked, rolling his eyes.

Koga considered for a moment. "…He got drunk."

"Huh? Who did?" Smaug asked in surprise. He hadn't expected the Ninjask to actually say anything.

"Nuken. He got drunk at my wedding," Koga said.

Everyone stared at him in disbelief. "_Nuken? DRUNK?"_ Tiamat cried in disbelief.

"No way!" Fafnir protested.

"Yes way," Koga said. "And he killed a few people too. Nobody important, thankfully." He frowned in concern. "I hope nothing like that happens here…" The other generals exchanged worried looks.

As Nuken and Missy ascended the steps to the altar, Aaron and Zorra were next to catch everyone's attention. Aaron, if the sighs from all his fans among the guests were anything to go by, was as handsome as ever, wearing an ornate dark blue and black tuxedo with a dark gray cape sweeping back over his shoulders and a blue rose pinned to his lapel. He had gloves and boots on bearing the markings and crystals of the Aura Guardians, and a necklace made of beads that glowed as if they were miniature Aura Spheres. He clutched his trusty staff in the paw that wasn't holding Zorra's, the crystal at its top shining a brilliant blue. He had been persuaded to remove his blindfold for the ceremony, but so as to spare everyone the sight of the mess that his eyes had become, Zorra had put an illusion over them so his eyes looked as they did before the accident that had cost him his sight. With the triangular wide-brimmed hat set atop his head—with holes cut out for his ears, naturally-He looked dashing and noble, every inch the Aura Guardian of legend.

Zorra, on the other hand, was wearing a red and black wedding kimono. The colors weren't really the sort of thing you'd usually wear to a wedding, especially your own, but they looked very good on her, which had been the Zoroark's intention. Since she'd been sort of a last-minute addition to the wedding, there hadn't been time to make her a dress, so Zorra had crafted her own out of illusion. Her long red and black hair had been let free from her bangle so it could flow down her back, seeming to blend into her dress and making it almost impossible to tell them apart. Bangles similar to the one she normally wore in her hair were wrapped around her wrists, with another around her neck that had a glittering black gemstone set in it. She wore heavy makeup that turned her face white and accented her eyes and mouth, as was the custom of her people. She looked very beautiful, as most brides do on their wedding day, and the majority of Aaron's fangirls wept bitter tears because that was somebody else up there instead of them.

"Welcome to Pokémon Square, Zorra," Aaron murmured to his bride-to-be as they advanced up the aisle, waving to the guests. "What do you think?"

"Not a bad place. I think I'm going to like it here," she commented.

"And the wedding?" Aaron asked. "I know it's a bit late-"

"By several years," she snarked.

"But now that it's here, what do you think?" Aaron continued.

She glanced up and frowned. "We could use some rain."

He frowned in puzzlement. "Rain?"

Zorra nodded. "Sure. It always rains when mystic foxes get married. It's tradition. Didn't you know that?"

He blinked in surprise. Or rather, the illusion of his eyes blinked. "No, I didn't. Although in retrospect, it makes sense…such as why it rained when Krysta and I got married."

"And that's why it should be raining now, too," Zorra pouted. "But Delia said the weather had to be bright and sunny for the occasion, which means no rain."

"We can make it rain later," Aaron said.

"It's not the same," Zorra said wistfully. Catching his concerned look, she smiled reassuringly. "Oh, don't worry about it. I'm just nitpicking. This is a wonderful wedding, and the fact that we're even having it at all is reason enough for me to be happy. So long as I'm with you, even getting married in a drive-through church would be sufficient."

"So you're saying you _wouldn't_ use illusion to turn it into a magnificent cathedral?" Aaron joked.

"Oh, of course I would, that goes without saying," Zorra said with a smirk. "But it would still be a drive-through church after we left, and even then it would still be enough for me. For _us._"

"I was such a fool to reject you all those years ago," Aaron said wonderingly.

"Yes," she agreed. "You were. But that's okay, you get to make up for it now."

"I promise to do so to the best of my ability," Aaron said.

She smiled, and the day seemed to get brighter. (Well, actually it did, she used illusion to increase the sunlight.) "I know you will."

Sabrina sighed wistfully. "He looks magnificent, doesn't he?" Yamiri murmured.

The Xatu nodded sadly. "And she looks positively radiant…for a Dark type. He did well by choosing her."

"Do you resent her much?" Yamiri asked.

"A little," Sabrina confessed. "But I find it hard to dislike her…even if she has been spying on the town for several years without anyone noticing. She will make a good wife for Aaron, and he a good husband and father to her son."

Yamiri nodded in agreement. "They will all be very happy together. And so will you one day, Sabrina."

"…Yes. Yes, I think I will be," she said, somewhat surprised that she felt the same way.

"Wow! Zachary, your mom looks…really good!" an amazed Pichu said to Zachary.

"Well, of course she does! She's my Meema!" Zachary boasted.

"I think Aunts Lily, Daisy, and Violet are crying," Junior said, looking over her shoulder to a trio of sobbing Eeveelutions several rows back.

"Well, their hearts are breaking. It's to be expected," Collette said, not feeling particularly sympathetic towards her relatives. She'd never been very fond of them. "I mean, did they seriously think they had a chance with him?"

"Apparently so," Sapphire said. "Along with a good percentage of the womon here…and more than a few of the guys…Uncle Aaron's really popular, isn't he?"

"Well, of course he is! He's my dad!" Zachary boasted. "Er…or he will be, in a couple of minutes, anyway…"

"Don't you have a biological father out there somewhere?" Mizula asked.

"And a mother, too? I vaguely remember hearing that you're not technically Zorra's son," Matthias recalled.

"She is too my Meema, in every way that matters!" Zachary snapped. "Just like your mom and dad are your parents, in every way that matters!"

"He has a point," Collette said as Matthias and Mizula flushed.

Junior nodded. "Yeah, none of our moms and dads gave birth to us, but they're still…well, our moms and dads."

"Mine did," Pichu pointed out.

"Yeah, but you're sort of the odd mon out," Junior said. He frowned. "Kinda weird how Grandma and Grandpa have so many adopted kids, but only a handful of biological kids, and right now you're the only one still in town until the egg hatches…"

Pichu blinked. "Huh. Yeah, you're right, that is weird…Dad, why have you and Mom adopted so many kids in the last…what, month or so?"

"Because I want lots of kids," Delia said. "And grandkids."

"And the more children we have, the more Pokémon there are to carry on the Thunderblade name!" Raiki said proudly. They stared at him. "Oh, uh, and it's our civic responsibility to provide good homes to troubled orphans or something like that."

"Ah," Matthias said.

"Um, but I'm not an orphan," Mizula said. "My Dad's still alive. And I'm hundreds of years older than you are."

"Details," Raiki said, waving carelessly.

"Which is why it doesn't matter whether or not my biological parents are still alive, I have Meema and soon I'll have Aaron, and that's what's important," Zachary said.

"So…does that mean your biological parents _are_ alive?" Matthias asked.

"…That's not something we like to talk about," Zachary said slowly. "Um, anyway, what do you guys think of Aaron's eyes? Meema did a good job of recreating them, didn't she?" he said, awkwardly changing the subject.

"Hmm? Uh, I guess so," Pichu said.

"So that's what Aaron's eyes looked like back when…you know, he had eyes? Wow…they look so…intense," Matthias murmured.

Raiki nodded. "They're the eyes of an Aura Guardian…I'd almost forgotten what they looked like, it's been so long since I saw them."

"Will Daddy have eyes like that someday?" Sapphire asked.

"No, his will be even better!" Junior said loyally.

"They are quite nice," Delia commented. "I don't suppose he'll keep them once this is over? It's a little weird seeing him walk around with a blindfold on all the time."

"Nah, Aaron only agreed to that little illusion because he thought it would look disrespectful to wear a blindfold to his wedding," Raiki said. "After this, he'll put it back on. He's a mon who strives for honesty, and going around with a mirage like that over his face would feel too much like a lie to him."

"…Isn't wearing a blindfold all the time and hiding what his eyes look like from the world sort of like lying, though?" Matthias asked. "Since it's concealing a part of himself from the rest of the world?"

"…No. No, it's not," Raiki said after a moment.

"Keeping a secret isn't the same as telling a lie," Zachary said. He paused. "I think…"

"Well, regardless, he looks wonderful, as does Zorra," Delia said. "I'm so glad I was able to squeeze them into the wedding…it's such a shame Aaron didn't invite us to his first one, or I'd have put something together specially for him."

"Maybe that's the reason he didn't invite us…" Raiki muttered.

"What was that?" Delia asked sharply.

"Nothing, dear," Raiki said innocently.

"Too bad Aaron's other wife couldn't make it," Pichu commented. "She'd probably have liked to see this…I think…" He scratched his head. "You know, we've got plenty of 'unorthodox' relationships here in Pokémon Square, but I still don't really understand how most of them work."

"Well, you're the son of a monogamous couple, just like we are—even if neither of our parents will admit to being a couple-so I suppose that's what makes the most sense to us," Sapphire suggested. "Since it's the most familiar."

"Makes sense," Pichu said.

"Well, _I_ find the concept of a couple that doesn't constantly have to worry about someone killing one of them and their offspring and taking the female for themselves to be weird, but given my upbringing, that's to be expected," Matthias said.

"What's weird about it?" Pichu asked, offended.

"The not constantly having to fear for your life thing. I was sort of used to that," Matthias said. "Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm happy not to have to worry about that anymore, it's just…different, is all."

"Like not living in a once-great palace that was corrupted and turned into an evil fortress filled with incredibly violent and malevolent Pokémon who would gladly do whatever they wanted with you if it weren't for the fact that your parent, who wasn't necessarily a nice guy himself, was holding them back," Mizula said.

"Yeah, exactly," Matthias said.

Zachary rolled his eyes. "You guys are so weird."

"What, like you don't have a troubled past of your own?" Collette asked.

"No!" Zachary insisted. "…Well…okay, maybe a little…"

"Are _all_ of us screwed up?" Matthias wondered out loud.

"I'm not," Pichu said.

"That's debatable," Collette said.

"Hey!" Pichu cried.

"Kids, stop bickering over which of you has the most tragic backstory, it's unbecoming and unprofessional. And boring," Raiki said sternly.

"Yes Dad/Grandpa/Uncle Raiki," the kids droned.

"Mon, I envy Max right now," Pichu muttered as Aaron and Zorra reached the stage and ascended to the altar. "He only has two sisters, only one of who is here, and no nieces or nephews or cousins to get bothered by! Lucky jerk…"

"Oh! Oh! Isn't this absolutely _wonderful_ long-lost half-brother?" Kira, wearing a green dress made of woven-together leaves and vines squealed as she gushed over the wedding to a very unhappy Max Maple. "Everyone looks _fabulous_ in all those outfits and the wedding looks _wonderful _and ohmigosh I'm already thinking of what _my_ wedding dress will look like for when Gilbert-kun and I tie the knot, and the ceremony will be _ten_ times as pretty, and Miss Latias will preside over it too, and there'll be rainbows and fireworks and Rapidashes and it'll be on top of a cloud and all our friends will be there except for the ones I secretly hate and it'll be the most beautiful and awesomest wedding _ever_ and everyone will be weeping at how beautiful it is and how beautiful _I_ am and how no wedding after mine will ever be anything but a cheap imitation compared to my wedding, which is the wedding to end all weddings, and after Miss Latias marries us and Gilbert-kun gives me my ring, which will be the biggest and shiniest and most expensivest ring ever he'll take me in his arms and stare into my eyes and give me a kiss of such passion and intensity that everyone watching will orgasm and wish that _they _could be kissed like that too, and angels will fly in to sing a chorus as we ride off into the sunset to celebrate our honeymoon in our new castle, which we'll break in by making love in _every single room twenty times_ and then we'll have seventeen kids and I'll name them Jolene and Tiffany and Pria and Fabio and Jean and Jeanne and Joane and…"

Max, sitting next to her in a green tuxedo, ground his teeth so hard chips started flaking off as he dug his fingers into the sides of his chair so hard they left dents. _Sweet Mew, why won't she stop _talking?_ Doesn't she need to _breathe?_ Arceus, and I thought _May_ was bad! How have Other Dad and Other Mom not gone insane by now from having to _live_ with her?_ He glanced at Lucas and Mika, who were sitting beside him. Somehow, he wasn't surprised to see that they were wearing earplugs. He wondered briefly if Kira's teammates had to resort to wearing them too, especially when the Chikorita was feeling extra-affectionate towards her 'Gilbert-kun.' That poor sap, having to put up with this sort of thing day in and day out…

And now Max had to deal with it too. Wonderful. He was starting to wonder why he'd ever thought leaving his dad's burgeoning new ski resort to find his birth father had been a bright idea. "And you'll be there too, Max!" Kira said abruptly.

Max blinked. "Huh? Where?"

"At my wedding, of course!" Kira said.

"Oh! Uh…thanks," Max said, looking surprised.

"Yep, you'll make a perfect flower girl," Kira said.

"…I'm a boy," Max pointed out.

"Yes, but I've always wanted a sister, and you'll look pretty good in a dress, I'm sure. Not as good as me, of course!" Kira said with a giggle.

Max's eye twitched as his half-sister began another tirade on how awesome her wedding was going to be. _Urge to kill rising…_

A few rows away, the tuxedo-clad Gilbert shuddered. "My Kira-sense is tingling…I think she's planning our wedding…"

"You don't have a Kira-sense," Torch said.

"Yes I do. Given how often she stalks me and steals things for her shrine and sneaks into my bedroom to watch me while I sleep, my nerves have been attuned to her biorhythm to the point where I can tell whenever she's nearby…or thinking about me…which is almost all the time," Gilbert said, hugging himself. "It's a curse, I tell you…"

"Yeah, I'll bet," Torch murmured, privately thinking, _I wish _I_ had a Kira-sense…_

Even further back, Hubie was looking around anxiously. "What's wrong?" George asked.

"I'm trying to see if those Team Paradox guys are here…" the Piplup muttered.

"Why would they be here?" George asked.

"Dunno. I just have a…feeling they'd be interested in something like this," Hubie said.

George frowned. "A feeling? Like…a Dimensional Scream kind of feeling, or whatever feeling had you acting like…you knew them?"

"…I think they might be one and the same," Hubie said.

"What's up with that, anyway? How could you know those guys? Because they sure as heck seemed spooked when you called out to them…how you called them by their real names! At least, I'm assuming those were their real names," George said. "Which implies you guys have some kind of history…time travel joke notwithstanding."

"I…" Hubie shook his head in frustration. "I don't know, dood. You know as well as I do that I have practically no memory of my life before you found me washed up on the beach, except that I'm a human from the future…or think I am, anyway. Not even the occasional Dimensional Scream has helped me remember what came before. And yet…when I saw those guys…I recognized them at once. I _know_ them. I don't know how or why, but I know them. I think…we may even have been friends."

"…Friends? You were friends with those creeps who are helping Team Rocket try to take over the world?" George asked incredulously.

Hubie nodded. "Possibly. That…seems about right. However, the fact that I'm not with them, and the way they reacted to me recognizing them—and how that jerkass Dusknoir blasted me—implies that we had a falling out of some kind."

"Which could explain why I found you on the beach with no memory," George said slowly. "And how you have that Dimensional Scream power…some remnant from whatever time-traveling adventures you had with them?"

"Could be," Hubie agreed. "However, so far it's just conjecture. I honestly don't remember anything about them other than their real names…and the fact that we were friends. That's all I know."

George snorted. "Well, they can't have been good friends if they erased your memory and dumped you in the ocean. I'd _never_ do that to you."

Hubie smiled gratefully. "Yeah, I know. Thanks, mon. It does me a world of good to know that you've always got my back."

"You know it!" George chuckled, bumping knuckles to Hubie's flipper.

The Piplup's eyes shrank and a dizzy sensation rolled through his brain as his vision flashed to negative and he saw…

"_You bastard! I trusted you! I thought we were FRIENDS!"_ _George screamed, tears running down his cheeks._

"_G-George, we _are_ friends! It's just-" Hubie protested._

"_No! I don't want to hear it! All this time, you've been using me! You've been using ALL OF US!" George shouted._

"_No, George, that's not the way it is!" Hubie cried._

"_No! Shut up! I don't care! I don't want to hear any more of your lies!" George yelled, shoving Hubie away. "Go back to those time-traveling sleazeball buddies of yours, because you aren't welcome around here anymore! Team Pokepals is OVER!"_

"Hubie? Hubie? What's wrong? What do you see?" George asked in alarm as Hubie was snapped back to the present, a shocked look on his face.

"Um…u-uh…I…" Hubie stammered, the look of pure hatred on his best friend's face lingering in his mind.

"Oh Arceus, it's bad, isn't it?" George cried, breaking out into a cold sweat. "Is someone going to attack the wedding? Is someone going to trip and fall off the stage and break their neck? Has someone already eaten the cake?"

"What? Uh, n-no, nothing like that!" Hubie stammered.

"Out with it, mon! What terrors does the future hold for us?" George demanded.

"I…you…" Hubie hesitated, not sure how to broach the subject of the horrific vision he had just witnessed. "You…are…going to eat too much food at the buffet and get indigestion," he finished lamely, unable to give voice to the truth.

George grimaced. "Oh my, that does sound bad. There's nothing I can do to avoid it?"

"Well, you could, you know, not eat anything," Hubie suggested.

"Preposterous! You can't _not_ eat at a wedding, especially when they're giving out free food!" George said indignantly. "I'll simply have to resign myself to spending a lot of time in the bathroom later. It'll be worth it, I'm sure."

"Um, yeah. Just keep telling yourself that," Hubie said, cursing himself for his inability to tell George what he'd really seen. But how was he supposed to broach the subject? It was just too terrible and unbelievable. How could something like this happen?

The problem with his Dimensional Screams was that they often lacked context. For all he knew, that shouting match he'd just seen could have been rehearsing for a play or been a total overreaction to something minor rather than a genuine end to his and George's partnership. If he tried telling George what he had seen and acted on his vision without knowledge of what might have triggered something like that, he might inadvertently poison their friendship by planting seeds of doubt and worry in both their minds and cause the very disaster he hoped to avoid. On the other hand, the same thing might happen if he kept it a secret and George started thinking he was lying to him, so…what the heck was he supposed to do? He sighed and scratched his head, wondering how Sabrina dealt with this sort of thing. Being able to see the future was _hard._

"Uh, George," Hubie said, trying to put thoughts of this grim portent behind him. "We'll…we'll always be friends, won't we?"

"Huh? Yeah, of course. Why?" George asked, surprised the Piplup even needed to ask.

"I…" Hubie swallowed. "J-just checking. Never mind." Somehow, he wasn't reassured.

Next to come down the aisle were Rosa and Zoro. The Roserade, beautiful as always, looked even more ravishing in her fully organic dress, made from vines, leaves, moss, roots, and other plant material, with lots of red, blue, yellow, white, and pink flowers budding all over. She had exchanged her red mask and scarf for a white one, with a veil made of transparent leaves dangling over her face and a train of ferns going down her back. Zoro was wearing a white variant of his usual costume, along with a white tuxedo with gold trim, tassels, and studs, as well as a white rose pinned to his lapel. Gold tassels hung from the brim of his hat, and his cape had a golden Z embroidered on it. He was wearing a white domino mask, because he refused to let his face be seen in public since the wedding was going to be broadcast worldwide and he didn't want his enemies to see what he really looked like so that they could strike at his civilian identity or friends.

"What a beautiful day it is," Rosa breathed in wonder.

"Not as beautiful as you, _mi amor,_" Zoro said fondly.

"Well, of course, that goes without saying!" she chuckled, before sighing happily. "Oh, Zoro…I hate to say it, but there were some times, when things seemed their worst, I thought this day would never come."

"I didn't," Zoro said.

"Really?" she asked in surprise.

"Of course not. Our destinies have been intertwined from the moment we first met," he said. "We are both the latest in long lines of heroes. With the spirits of our predecessors watching over us, I always knew that we would live long enough to be wed. Granted, I assumed it would be back home, but hey, at least it's finally happening."

She smirked. "Indeed…and what does the future hold for us, my brave _gato?_"

"After we finish up with our business here in town, however long that takes?" Zoro asked. "We go home, defeat the Espanish once and for all, and then we can settle down, hang up our capes and masks, and make _bebes._ Lots and lots of _bebes._"

"Ooh, sounds like fun! Especially the part where we _make_ the _bebes,_" Rosa said excitedly. "I can teach our daughters how to dance, and you can teach our sons how to wield a sword. Or vice versa."

"And we will _both_ teach them how to uphold justice and battle evil," Zoro said firmly.

Rosa chuckled. "But of course. They will be their parents' children. Can they do less?"

"_Madre de dios,_ aren't they a sight?" Lobo Fuerte said fondly as his teammates passed.

El Toro nodded, eyes watering as he struggled not to cry. "I always knew this day would come…I just hadn't thought it would come so soon! Our beloved Zoro and Rosa united at last, in holy matrimony…my only regret, and surely theirs too, was that they could not do this at home in La Mancha. That has always been one of their fondest wishes."

"Well, you know, there's no reason they can't be married _again_ once all this is over and we return to our homeland," Lobo said slyly. "The legendary _libertadors _Rosa and Zoro may be wed this day…but as far as the world knows, Lolita Pulido and Diego de la Vega are still _una pareja no casada_."

"…Oho! I see where you are going!" El Toro chortled, nudging Lobo so hard that the Mightyena nearly knocked the Pokémon sitting next to him out of his seat. "Yes, I think they will like that very much, as will our friends back home! Especially since it means we can throw a proper La Mancha wedding, not this…overwrought nightmare!"

"It's not that bad," Lobo said defensively, in case Delia might be listening.

"Well, it's very pretty, I'll grant you that much, but…it's rather overwhelming, don't you think, amigo?" El Toro asked.

"They _did_ go rather all-out," Lobo admitted.

El Toro snorted. "All-out? That is an understatement, my friend!"

"And weddings back home never get this out of control?" Lobo asked skeptically. "Because I seem to remember yours being a little crazy, too."

El Toro laughed. "I am a Tauros! I can't have a wedding without somebody starting on a stampede and flattening a few buildings, where would the fun be in that?"

"What you call fun, others call terrifying. And property damage," Lobo argued.

"If that were true, then why do we still have so many participants in the annual Running of the Tauros?" El Toro asked smugly.

"Because young mons are full of testosterone and stupidity and eager to get trampled to death if they think it'll make them cooler," Lobo said.

"I seem to remember you taking part more than once," El Toro said.

"I was young, and stupid," Lobo lamented.

"…You ran _last year,_" El Toro said flatly.

Lobo laughed Mareepishly. "Yes, well…there was a _chica_ whose eye I was trying to catch. Same old story, si?"

"Si!" El Toro laughed. "Although…that probably won't be a motivator for you any longer, now will it?"

Again, Lobo's blood chilled as he remembered Sasha and the incredibly one-sided beating she had given him. "Si…I will run with the Tauros no more…"

"Not even me?" El Toro asked, looking hurt.

"Especially you! You've nearly caved my head in or broken a paw by stepping on it more times than I can count!" Lobo said. They both laughed at that.

After Rosa and Zoro came the couple of Zeke and Sylvia. The Zangoose and Seviper were a little anxious about being the center of attention as they walked down the aisle, Zeke in his white and red-striped tuxedo to match his pelt, and Sylvia in a skin-tight tube dress that was almost a mesh of white and gold fabric and chain links, studded with pearls and gold gems that resembled the markings on her skin. They hadn't wanted anything fancy for their wedding, just a small get-together with their friends and family. The way Delia had taken over everything and blown the whole thing out of proportion beyond their wildest imaginings was more than a little intimidating for them, and they couldn't help but feel like they were being scrutinized by hundreds of people, not just their friends and neighbors and teammates but complete strangers, judging them and measuring them up against the heroes that had preceded them and probably thinking that they weren't nearly as attractive and that their outfits were cheap and tacky in comparison. "Everyone'sss ssstaring at usss," Sylvia hissed uneasily.

"Of course they're staring at us, we're the bride and groom," Zeke muttered out of the corner of his mouth. "Well, one of them, anyway."

"Thisss isssn't even remotely what I had in mind for our wedding. Thisss isss…thisss isss rather overwhelming," Sylvia said nervously.

Zeke sighed. "Yeah, I know. But you know how Delia can get sometimes…look, I know it's not quite what we planned, but hey, at least we're getting married finally, right?"

"Yeah, but…it'sss not really about usss, isss it?" Sylvia asked sadly. "Thisss wasss sssupposssed to be our ssspecccial day."

"It is our special day," Zeke said.

"Yesss, which we have to ssshare with lotsss of other people, mossst of whom we don't even know very well!" Sylvia retorted. Zeke did not have a good answer to that.

"Well…okay, it's not exactly what we dreamed of, but…look at it this way. At least it's happening. At least we both lived long enough to get to this point. Remember all those times I was away on a mission, and you were stuck here fretting and worrying if I'd never make it back alive, that we'd never be able to make the future we've talked about? Well, that future's finally here. We're getting married. We're going to start a family and have lots of kids, and maybe even find a way to end the millennia-long feud that's had our species at each other's throats for as long as either of us can remember. All that fretting and worrying is over," Zeke said.

"Yeah," Sylvia said morosely. "Now I'll have to fret and worry about how my husssband, not my boyfriend, might not come back from a battle, and agonizzze over how to tell our children that their father will never come home."

"…Well. That's a downer," Zeke muttered, his ears sagging.

She sighed and forced a smile. "I'm sssorry. Thisss isss our wedding day, the happiessst moment of our livesss, and here I am complaining about sssomething that hasssn't happened yet and may never happen, asss far asss we know. I'm a terrible womon. What do you sssee in me?"

"The most wonderful womon I've ever met," Zeke said honestly.

She gave him a surprised look and flushed. "I…o-oh, you flatterer you…" He smiled.

Among the guests, Zeke's teammate Sandy the Sandslash was sobbing uncontrollably. "Oh…oh…this is so beautiful! I promised I wouldn't cry, but I just can't help it! Our little Zeke is finally getting married!"

"…He's at least a year older than you," Sickle the Scyther said. "And like a foot taller."

"Oh, details!" Sandy said, waving him off. "All that matters is they're getting married, and snubbing their ancestors who've declared war on each other for so long! Isn't this just perfect for a new beginning for their species?"

"Eh, I give it a month," Sickle grunted.

"Until they divorce?" Sandy asked, looking shocked.

"No, until their distant relatives get fed up and kill them for breaking tradition and marrying the enemy," Sickle said. "Which, ironically, will bring them closer together. Hmm. Maybe this _will_ end the Zangoose and Seviper feud after all." Sandy stared at him in horror and disgust.

After Zeke and Sylvia were newcomers to the town, reformed barbarian Goku Firebottom and Ete. The Monferno, lacking anything in the way of formal attire, had polished and tidied up his armor to look nice enough for the occasion. Delia had attempted to get him into several different suits, but he kept 'accidentally' setting them on fire—even the fire-retardant ones, somehow—so she gave up and let him wear his armor, eventually deciding he looked pretty good in it anyway. To keep any of the refugees from Mt. Blaze from getting any trauma-related flashbacks at seeing a barbarian in full armor, however, many of the harsher elements—spikes, horns, bones dangling on strings—had been removed and the leather and cloth parts were dyed blue, further distinguishing himself from Gal's forces, since they had worn mostly red. (Why was it that the color red was what evil armies usually used, anyway?) Ete had covered her body in makeup and paint markings that her tribe had used for formal occasions until their untimely demise at the hands of the barbarian horde, and wore a red skirt, a red cloth strip around her midriff, some jewelry donated by generous (and strongarmed by Delia) townsPokémon, and a floral wreath around her head. Her tails had also been twined together to form a neat braid with the palms at the ends clasping each other and swaying back and forth almost hypnotically as she proceeded up the aisle. Since both of them were still relatively new to 'civilized' society, they were unused to the kinds of clothes used in fancy events—or any clothes at all, for that matter—so this was about all they could be persuaded to wear, and to their credit, they looked fine in it.

"So many people…so this is how 'civilized' Pokémon bond for life?" Goku murmured. "It seems rather…complex and overwhelming, but I must say I prefer it over what we used to do under Gal's command."

"You mean select a female at random, rape and beat her to your heart's content, then get rid of her when you lost interest?" Ete said.

"Yes, that," Goku said, making a face.

"So do I," Ete said with a nod.

Goku fidgeted. "You know I never-"

"Yes, I know. And none of our kind will again, I hope, once you become the true Monkey King and bring peace to the wilds rather than war," Ete said.

"That's the idea," Goku said. "To fulfill my ancestor's dream…and taking part in this, and showing our new allies we aren't so different from them, that we can do as they do and, hopefully, live among them in peace, is my first step to achieving that goal."

Ete's tails curved over to grasp Goku's, a bit below the flame at the end. "And I will be with you, every step of the way."

The Monferno smiled. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

Goku's brother, Ignik, sniffed and wiped his wet face against the sleeve of his ill-fitting tuxedo. "Brother…damn, he's really doing his best to fit in, isn't he? I almost didn't recognize him at first…he seems so…_happy_ now, like he's somewhere he really belongs. I guess…he never really ever felt that way back at Mt. Blaze, did he? Because I certainly never saw him looking like _that_…with that weird smile on his face…" He sighed. "I'm not happy with the way things have turned out—especially for me—or how you basically turned your back on our people to join our sworn enemies and aided in the defeat of King Gal, but…I…I guess I'm glad that you're happy. It's a not very barbarian thing to say, but…but it's true. I'm happy for you, brother. This…this is what you deserve. I wish you and Ete the best of luck, and whatever happiness you can find in this new place you've decided to call 'home.'"

"That's very sweet," Chuck said as he tugged on the leash attached to Ignik's neck, causing him to yelp in pain. "Now stop rubbing your face all over that tux—it's a rental—and get back to work, we've got to finish setting up the buffet before the ceremony's over or we'll have a lot of hungry Pokémon on our hands, and I'll have few compunctions with throwing you to the Mightyenas."

"Ouch! What, a guy can't take a minute to contemplate his change of fortune and congratulate his brother for turning his life around?" Goku complained as he rubbed his neck and glared sullenly at the Makuhita.

Chuck shook his head. "Not when you're on as tight a schedule as we are. Come on, move it, everything has to be absolutely perfect for the reception or we'll all get holy hell from Delia. And possibly from Raiki, since I don't think he's had breakfast. Oh, and don't even think of taking any of the food for yourself, either."

Ignik, who had been surreptitiously reaching for some of the canapés, snatched his hand back. "What? Why not? The other guys you've got setting the food up have grabbed plenty for themselves, and you didn't say anything!"

"The other guys I've got setting up the food aren't convicted felons serving a sentence of community service," Chuck said, yanking on the leash again and tugging Ignik away from the canapés. "So come on, back to work!"

Grumbling and growling under his breath, Ignik started sticking little toothpicks in some of the dishes, because apparently they were supposed to have toothpicks stuck in them for some reason, and carefully arranged fruits and sweets in formations pleasing to the eye that had been drilled into his head repeatedly over the last few days. "You know, it's not like I'm the only ex-barbarian here who's done lots of bad stuff…Goku and his guys have killed lots of innocent Pokémon too, you know, and more than a few of the Pokémon you've rescued were only in Mt. Blaze in the first place thanks to them, but everyone seems to be perfectly willing to turn a blind eye to that and welcome him with open arms while I get stuck being a training dummy and menial laborer."

"Goku was willing to betray his leader and entire way of life in hopes of finding a way for our peoples to coexist without fighting each other, and helped to rescue several friends of ours whom we'd long thought dead," Chuck pointed out. "He's also agreed to help us locate and form ties with any other groups of wild Pokémon or ex-barbarians who may feel similarly committed to restoring peace to Kanjohenn, and has already provided us with intel that helped us locate and wipe out several redoubts where remnants of Gal's forces were holed up. What exactly have you done lately that's been that noble?"

"I'm allowing myself to be humiliated and abused by children because you all get some twisted pleasure from seeing me suffer?" Ignik replied drily.

"No, that's community service. You're doing that because if you don't, we can easily find something even _worse_ for you to do, since part of the deal we made with your brother is that we won't kill you, though you probably deserve it," Chuck said. "When's the last time you did something for another Pokémon with no visible benefit to yourself?"

Ignik paused as he considered this. "…When I learned about my brother's…unusual relationship with Ete, as well as his doubts about our cause and his plans to leave the King's service and join your side, my duty was to report him to my superiors."

"But you didn't," Chuck said.

"No. I didn't," Ignik said.

"Why?" Chuck asked.

"If it were anyone else, I would have. But Goku, he's…he's my brother," Ignik said. "I couldn't do that to him. He's, you know, family."

Chuck nodded slowly. "Then maybe there's hope for you yet." He tugged on the Monferno's leash, causing Ignik to yelp. "But we don't have time to ponder that right now, so get back to work! Those dishes aren't going to arrange themselves!"

"All right, all right! Ugh…and to think I once thought that _we_ were the cruel ones…" Ignik grumbled as he reluctantly returned to his task.

"If you want cruel, I could put you on latrine duty," Chuck said.

"What latrines? I thought you guys were all about indoor plumbing that takes care of itself," Ignik said.

"We do. But we're outdoors at the moment, and so is the reception, so we've had to set up porta-potties for when the guests inevitably need to do their business," Chuck said. "And somebody's going to have to take care of those porta-potties after the reception is over and we start packing up and cleaning everything up…do I make myself clear?"

"Did I ever tell you how much I love arranging food?" Ignik said shrilly as he grabbed a pair of large forks and started tossing some salad. "Practically a life's dream for me! Oh boy oh boy!"

"Well, given the quality of food you probably had back at Mt. Blaze, that doesn't surprise me," Chuck said in bemusement, glad to see that his training of the Monferno was going so well. He wasn't sure what exactly he was training him to do, exactly, but it was entertaining nonetheless.

After Goku and Ete came a few other couples whom we won't be focusing on or naming because they haven't featured prominently in previous chapters and won't be doing much in later ones either. As they all proceeded up the aisle, a red-eyed Gonzap sniffled and turned to Wes, demanding, "Dammit, boy, why aren't you up there with Rui?"

"Because I want to get married on _my_ terms, not just because the crazy wife of a samurai says so," Wes said, folding his arms.

Gonzap frowned. "Okay, I can understand why you might feel that way, but…Rui, why did you go along with it?"

"For a similar reason to Wes, but also because…well, when I get married, I want it to really be _my_ wedding. Not one that was set up for me, not one that was made for lots of other people I barely even know, but something personal, for Wes and I," Rui said. "This wedding is magnificent, but by focusing on uniting so many people at once, it lacks a special something that makes it…you know, meaningful for the couples involved, since it's tailored to accommodate all of them as a group rather than on an individual basis. Do you know what I mean?"

"…I guess," Gonzap said. "Still, I would've thought that you would jump at the chance to get married anyway, even with all that in mind."

"Oh, I would have, but Wes promised me that if I turned Delia down he'd not only set a date for our wedding but after this one he and I could do…" She blushed. "Well, that's something private you probably don't want to hear about."

"No. No, I don't," Gonzap said, a disgusted look on his face. He sighed. "Well, if that's what you really want...I suppose it'll have to do." He perked up. "And hey, if your marriage is focused just on you two, that means I can be Wes's Best Mon! Or Father of the Bride! Or both!"

"You're not my dad," Rui pointed out.

"No, but I'm as good as," Gonzap said excitedly. "I'm practically your father-in-law already, so that's gotta count for something, right?"

"Gonzap, what makes you think that _you'd_ be my Best Mon?" Wes asked.

"Well, who else do you have in mind?" Gonzap asked, looking insulted.

Wes considered that for a moment. "How about Ash?" Rui suggested.

"What? That guy? You barely even know him!" Gonzap protested. "And when you first met, it was under false pretenses!"

"Yeah, but he seemed cool enough," Wes said. "He could work as a Best Mon. He's certainly friendlier than most of the other people we know."

"Well, yeah, but…but…what about me? I've known you your whole life! I practically raised you! Heck, I _did_ raise you! Why can't I be your Best Mon?" Gonzap protested.

"Because you're my dad, not my best friend," Wes said.

"They can't be the same thing?" Gonzap asked, looking hurt.

"I don't think so, sorry," Wes said. Gonzap sagged, his metal feathers clacking together and tearing large holes in the suit he'd barely managed to fit himself into.

"Um…you can still be Father of the Bride and give me away, if you'd like," Rui suggested, seeing how upset the Skarmory was.

Gonzap shot out of his slump instantly, ripping his suit to shreds in the process as it caught on his sharp-edged feathers. "Would I! I can't think of anything that would make me happier! Well, actually I can think of a few things, but none of them are as likely to happen as that is! Thank you, Rui, I won't let you down!"

Rui chuckled. "Don't mention it."

"I thought we were going to have your grandpa give you away," Wes whispered to Rui as Gonzap eagerly started talking about how he was going to lead Rui down the aisle, and how wonderful the whole thing would be, and how proud he was going to be to be there, and how happy they'd all be once they settled down to start a family.

"Maybe both of them can?" Rui suggested.

Wes frowned. "Could we do that?"

Rui shrugged. "It'll be our wedding, I don't see why not." Wes reluctantly had to admit she had a point.

As the last of the couples climbed onto the stage and stood before the altar, lined up shoulder-to-shoulder beneath the statue of Arceus and standing in front of the radiant Latias, the wedding march stopped playing and an angelic chorus started ringing down from the heavens. (Actually it was being broadcast from the cloaked ships hovering above the ceremony, but it sounded nice and had a pretty impressive effect on the guests, who were looking around in surprise and wondering if holy spirits really were watching over the ceremony.) "My friends," Latias said gently in a calm, quiet voice that nonetheless could be heard by everyone in attendance, even the unlucky Pokémon who had to sit all the way in the very back. "You have no idea how elated I am to see all your smiling faces at this joyous occasion. Only a few days ago, a great many of you marched off into battle to rid our world of a great evil and save countless innocent Pokémon, many of which are with us this very day. When you went to battle the barbarian hordes of Mt. Blaze, you knew there was a good chance that many of you would not make it back alive, and that you would not be able to save everyone you set out to. And while not all of those who left Pokémon Square that day returned from battle in one piece, and not every prisoner of the barbarians could be saved before their captors slew them out of cruelty to deny us victory, the fact that so many of you survived and could be gathered here today to celebrate the miracle of love and life under the shining sun is testament to your power and determination, and your willingness to keep fighting against seemingly insurmountable odds for what you believe in. The fact that so many of you have lived long enough to see this day is a second victory against the forces which even now seek to destroy us and everything we hold dear, because so long as we are capable of celebrating and taking joy in the ties which bind us together, in the end evil shall always fall to the forces of good, for it is these ties that give us strength in our darkest hour, the strength to persevere and triumph even when it seems like all of creation is arrayed against us.

"We are gathered here on this blessed day to rejoice in these ties, a gift from the Creator Himself. When He made the Omniverse, Arceus bound every atom and spirit and rock in creation together, forging links that connected everything that lives and breathes to everything else, even many things that _aren't_ alive. These links are what empower us…the bonds of friendship. Of family. Of love. By recognizing these links and drawing strength from them, we realize that none of us is truly alone in the Omniverse. All of us are held together by unbreakable bonds that not only connect us with each other but with Arceus Himself. So long as we keep these bonds and the people with whom we share the strongest links in our hearts and minds, there is almost no force in this world or any other that can truly defeat us, for even if we die, we will always live on, not only in the afterworld or as Ghosts, but in the memories of our loved ones, giving them the strength to continue on no matter what hardships the future might hold for them."

She smiled and cast a beatific gaze over the couples standing before her, who straightened as they felt her eyes and the almost unfathomable divine will behind them focus on them. "Today, we will celebrate these bonds by uniting the Pokémon who stand before you in (truly) holy matrimony. Each of them has already pledged their hearts to the mon or womon standing next to them, so while a formal ceremony to acknowledge something they already know deep down may not strictly be necessary, it is still a celebration of their love and devotion, something to strengthen their faith and trust in each other…as well as _our_ faith and trust in them, and in each other, and is therefore an event worth having, to reinforce the ties that bind us all." She gazed out at the crowd now, her words carrying the weight of countless ages and experiences unlike anything they could imagine. "In my eons of existence, I have presided over and taken part in countless weddings, so many that even I have trouble recalling them all. But each of them was special and holds a dear place in my heart as a reminder of Arceus's greatest gift to us, His children, and our ultimate weapon against evil…the ability to love. It is love that ignites the stars, and weaves the web of existence, and banishes the darkness…and it is love that will allow us to prevail against the trials yet to come.

"With that in mind, and an understanding of how this union will not only enrich your lives, but those of everyone you know, and many you _don't_ know, for true love makes the world a better and brighter place for everyone…do each of you choose to strengthen the bonds of the heart and take the mon or womon standing next to you to be your true partner and equal in all things?" Latias asked.

"We do," the couples said.

"Do you swear to be their companion in sickness and in health, in war and peace, in good times as well as bad…their friend and confidant, the parent of their children, the one they will spend the rest of their lives with…and, Arceus bless, your afterlives, and whatever lives come after that as well?" Latias asked.

"We do," the couples said.

"Do you promise to love and respect each other, to give your partner the strength and support to persevere when they need it, to trust and have faith in them when they have given up in themselves and the world itself seems to have turned its back on them?" Latias asked.

"We do," the couples said.

"And do you promise as well to uphold the responsibility that is being placed upon you as Pokémon united in love? For just as unity and two hearts becoming one enriches the world, discord and heartbreak makes it worse. By swearing to love each other, you take this burden upon your shoulders, and the knowledge that falling out of love or betraying your partner will only lead to misery for everyone around you, and give the forces that seek destruction and despair another small foothold in their endless battle against Arceus's light. If you agree to this union, you must _work_ at your relationship, keep it from stagnating, and make it something that will last between you for as long as you both shall live…and possibly even beyond." She gave the couples before her a very serious look and impressed her will upon them, forcing them to realize she meant everything she just said. Marriage was not something to be taken lightly, and treating it as such would lead to grave consequences down the road for everyone involved. They had to understand that, had to understand how important it was to take this seriously and work at their relationship if their stories were ever going to get a happy ending. The guests stirred, a little disturbed and concerned by her statement. More than a few couples, both married and unmarried, exchanged uncertain looks, assessing and appraising their relationship and wondering where they stood in comparison to Latias' ultimatum. She ignored their confused murmurs and the worried thoughts passing through their (and her) heads, focusing only on the faces and hearts of the Pokémon standing before her, listening as they drank in the full weight what she was saying. "With all this in mind, do you still agree to join your life to that of the Pokémon standing next to you, to work together to fill the world with love?"

The couples looked at each other, their eyes locking for a moment, questioning each other, wondering if they were really up to this. That moment was all they needed. A resolute look formed on their faces, and they turned to Latias and said, "We do."

Latias smiled, and the pressure and unease that had been weighing on everyone since she had started began to lift, and the Sun seemed a little brighter for some reason. "I am gladdened to hear that." She rose a little into the air, staring over the heads of the couples to the guests spread out across the field before her. "Are there any here who object to this union, who do not think that these Pokémon are unfit to be wed, that their love will not be enough to sustain them in the hard times to come?"

Nobody said a word or moved a muscle, not even Aaron's fangirls. (Although the Ninjask waiting to interfere if anyone objected probably had something to do with that.) There was plenty they said in their heads, which Latias took into consideration as well, but much to her gratification, nobody seemed to have a serious complaint. Even those who were jealous or resentful towards the Pokémon being married found themselves reluctantly thinking that the targets of their frustration would make good companions for the Pokémon their own hearts yearned for. Latias smiled to herself, pleased to see this. "Then if there are no objections…" She waved a claw above the altar, and motes of energy gathered and fused together to form a series of beautiful luminous rings made of solid light. "Each of you take a ring and place it on your partner's finger or claw or other suitable appendage. This will finalize your union, and your promise to each other."

One by one, each Pokémon reached out and took a ring off the altar, marveling at how it felt so light and at the same time so solid in their paws, almost as if it were realer than the rest of the world, at once both incredibly delicate but strong enough to survive a world-rending explosion. Slowly, reverently, half the Pokémon slipped the rings over the fingers or claws or other suitable appendages of their significant other, and their significant others did the same to them. The instant all the rings were in place, the wedding bands lit up with a brilliant flash that caused everyone to gasp in wonder and surprise. "These rings of light are bound together, and fueled by your hearts. So long as you love each other, these rings will remain intact on your fingers. But should that love wither away…then the rings will vanish as well, and with them your marriage." Latias smiled reassuringly as they looked at their rings in concern. "Do not worry, though…I believe in you, and so long as you believe in each other…the light in your hearts, and on your fingers, will never flicker or die." It didn't look as if the smiles on everyone's faces upon hearing this were ever going to flicker or die either, and Latias didn't even bother suppressing her own grin. "And with that said, and the union between you formalized…by the power invested in me by the Original One, I seal the sacred pact you have made with each other and pronounce you husbands and wives!" She threw up her hands, willing an absolutely spectacular light show to explode around them as the newly wedded couples joyously embraced and kissed each other while the guests eagerly applauded (and more than a few, emboldened and overwhelmed by emotion, kissed each other as well), fireworks shot into the air and exploded in bursts looking like the faces of the lovers surrounded by hearts, and triumphant/romantic music played in the background (again broadcast by the ships above them). As the newlyweds vigorously sucked face, Latias recalled there was one last thing she needed to do to satisfy Nuken and the other Draconians and quickly conjured some empty bottles and cushions beneath the feet or related appendages of the couples. Without looking, they automatically stomped on the cushions, breaking the glass in a tinkle that was completely lost in the cacophony caused by the rest of the celebrations. "Mazeltov!" The cheering increased exponentially.

"Wow," said an awestruck Rayquaza as he applauded. "That was…"

"Better than anything you could have done?" Latios asked, staring at the stage.

"Yes, most definitely," Rayquaza agreed.

"Whoever handles you and my sister's wedding is going to have to really work to do better than that," Latios said. He paused, and then glanced at Rayquaza. "All that stuff she was saying about love and promises and remaining faithful to your spouse and all that…when you and she hook up for real, you're going to do all that, right?"

"Of course! I intended to do it even before I knew she was going to talk about it!" Rayquaza said, looking offended. "What sort of divine ruler do you take me for?"

"Just checking," Latios said quickly. He hesitated for a moment. "Do…do you think I'll ever find someone that I can feel that way towards? Whom I'll happily devote my life to like…like that? Someone who's more than just a, you know, fling?"

"I'm sure of it," Rayquaza said with such certainty that Latios couldn't help but believe him, a relieved and hopeful look passing over his face.

"That was magnificent!" Nidhogg said as he clapped excitedly. "I feel truly blessed to have witnessed that!"

"Me too! Do you suppose we can get her to preside over our weddings as well?" Smaug asked hopefully.

"Aren't you guys already married?" Drakor asked.

The other generals' faces fell. "Oh, right…" they grumbled in disappointment.

"Tiamat, are you all right?" Fafnir asked the Garchomp.

"…I don't think I've ever seen the General this happy before," she said quietly, staring at the beaming Nuken and Missy up on the stage.

"Neither have I," Koga said. "And I have known Nuken all my life. He is my brother, after all. My shadow. Or am I his? Eh, same difference."

"He really loves her, doesn't he?" Tiamat asked.

The Ninjask nodded. "I believe he does. It's not something I thought him capable of, to be honest. I'm glad I was wrong."

Tiamat closed her eyes. "Then…I no longer think I can begrudge her for winning his heart. If she was able to elicit such feelings from the General, then…then she is truly worthy of being his mate. I wish them much happiness together."

"As do we all," Fafnir said with a smile and a nod.

"And we pray that their kids will take more after the mother than the father," Nidhogg said. The others glanced at him. "What? Can't you imagine how terrifying a baby Nuken would be? The adult one is bad enough!"

"…Wow. That is a scary thought," Smaug said with a shudder.

"Let us hope with all our hearts that such a creature is never born," Koga said seriously. The others nodded in agreement.

"I think I have just had a religious experience," Sabrina said faintly.

"Well, she's a deity, so technically any experience with her counts, but yes, I know what you mean," Yamiri said. "That was certainly…something else. I've been marrying people for centuries, but I don't think I could have done quite a job like that!"

"No, you couldn't have," Sabrina agreed.

Yamiri took no offense from the blunt statement. "You heard everything she said about love, didn't she?"

"Who couldn't? It was rather hard to miss," Sabrina said.

"I was a fool to let our jobs separate us…when next I see the womon I love, I'm going to ask her to marry me, like I should have all those centuries ago…" Yamiri said.

"And I will try harder to find a mate for myself," Sabrina agreed. "So that I can strengthen the world with our love. I thought that I was making myself stronger by living in isolation all these years. Now I'm not so sure. I think it is time for me to reconnect with others. True power, the power of the heart, cannot be found through solitude…"

"They did it! They did it!" Delia squealed, clapping as tears ran down her face and caused sparks to shoot out of her cheeks. "Oh, it was even more beautiful than I thought it would be when I planned out virtually every single detail of the ceremony in advance!"

"You did good, honey," Raiki told her. "You should feel just as proud as they are for being part of a wedding as magnificent as this one."

"I am! And I already know how I'm going to make our sons' weddings even _better!_" Delia announced, causing Raiki's face to turn white with horror.

"So, that's how a 'wedding' is done, then?" Mizula asked the other kids.

"That's how it's done when our mom is planning it, yes," Pichu said.

"That was…pretty impressive. And more than a little overwhelming and intimidating," Matthias confessed. "Being married sounds like it's a lot of hard work…"

"But worth it, in the end," Collette said, looking from her grandparents to Matthias, blushing shyly. The Rattata didn't notice. A frowning Zachary did.

"So long as I don't have to constantly worry about getting murdered by some guy who wants my spouse, you're probably right," Matthias agreed.

"Speaking of spouses, any idea who you'd like to marry?" Zachary asked slyly. Collette frowned at him.

"It's…a bit early for that, isn't it?" asked a confused Matthias. "I mean, I'm still pretty young, barely know anybody in town outside our mutual friends…I'm not even in the state of mind to look for a mate at the moment, I'm too busy trying to deal with Dad's training and whatever else this crazy town throws at me."

"Yeah, that's probably the best thing for you to do for the time being," Pichu said. "Because the instant you _do_ get a girlfriend, Mom is going to start planning your wedding. In advance."

Matthias blinked. "But, uh, what if I don't want to marry her? Or we break up?"

"Then Mom'll shelve the plans until you get another girlfriend and rework it from there based on your current partner," Pichu said. "She's a little scary like that. She has a whole bookcase full of wedding plans for pretty much every unmarried Pokémon in town, and every time there's a breakup or a hookup she pulls one down and spends long hours into the night revising it, just in case."

"We snuck a look at Dad's once, since we knew Grandma's been working on it for ages, ever since we were hatched and adopted into the family and she became certain Mom and Dad would hook up for real," Sapphire said. "It's…rather worrying how much detail she's put into it in just a few months, especially since Mom and Dad aren't even officially a couple yet."

"…That's really creepy," said a freaked-out Matthias. He wondered if she had already begun crafting a wedding plan for him, and didn't think a silly little fact like his being single, ineligible, and uninterested in anyone would stop her from starting to plan a perfect wedding for her foster son.

"Eh, Meema can be creepier," Zachary said. "You wouldn't believe some of the illusions I've seen her fabricating when she thinks I'm not looking."

"Do they involve her graphically killing Uncle Aaron?" Junior asked.

"Some do," Zachary said with a grimace. "Others are…a little more mature…"

Everyone made disgusted faces. "Mature how?" asked Sapphire, who didn't get it.

"Like that thing we accidentally saw Grandma and Grandpa doing that one time," Junior said with a shudder.

Sapphire blinked. "Painting still lifes?"

"No, the other thing," Junior said.

"…Sparring?" Sapphire asked.

"No, the _other_ other thing," Junior said.

Sapphire frowned and thought hard for a long moment. "Watching horror movies?"

Junior facepalmed…somehow…even though the only thing he could do it into was his trunk, which was already growing from his face. "Oh, never mind."

Mizula shook his head in confusion. "I don't think I'll ever understand you surface-dwellers…which I suppose includes myself, now that I've apparently been adopted into your household without listening to my opinion on the subject."

"Join the club, brother," Matthias said with a weary smile. "Join the club."

"…THAT. WAS. AWESOME," Kira declared. "But my wedding's going to be even awesomer! Somehow. I just have to think of how…"

"Didn't you hear any of what Latias said about how important it is to really love the person you're marrying and how you have to be committed to making your relationship work and being equal partners and how being married is a huge responsibility and has a significant effect on everyone around you and all that?" Max asked incredulously, wondering if the whole thing had gone over his half-sister's head.

"Of course I did! And Gilbert-kun and I are going to be all that and more!" she said. Max sighed and shook his head, certain she didn't get it.

"Think any of that got through to Kira?" Gilbert asked several rows away.

"I'm sure she processed some of it," Torch said defensively.

"Yeah, somehow I don't think so," Gilbert said skeptically.

Torch growled and struggled not to punch his best friend, clenching his claws into a fist. _Dammit, what does she see in him? He can never be the person she needs, the person that Miss Latias said you need to be partnered with to form a holy union like that…but I can. I can be all that and more! Why won't she understand that? Can't she see the mon for her has been right in front of her all along?_

"You know, you'd probably make a better husband for her than me," Gilbert said abruptly, startling Torch.

"Y-you think so?" the Charmander asked in surprise.

Gilbert nodded. "Oh yeah, definitely. You guys have known each other forever, whereas I only dropped into your lives what, a few months ago? You know much more about her than I do, and have been around her so long you can even tolerate her…ah, idiosyncracies. Too bad you're not into her that way-and she'd probably never notice anyway, what with her disturbing fixation on me-or you might be able to hook up with her instead and save me from a rather clingy stalker."

Torch stiffened. Slowly, he turned to look at Gilbert. "Um…hypothetically speaking, what if…and this is a big if…I, uh, kinda sorta _did_ like Kira that way?"

Gilbert blinked and looked at Torch in surprise. A grin slowly crept across his face. "Then I think, my friend, we may be able to come to some mutual arrangement…"

"Dude, that was so cool!" George gushed excitedly. "And if this one was so awesome, I can only imagine how incredible the next one we're going to have once all the fighting is over will be!" He glanced at Hubie. "Hey, I don't suppose you could look into the future and tell me what it's going to be like?"

The Piplup fidgeted. "Um…I don't know if I can do that. You know I can't exactly control what it is that I see. There's no guarantee that I'll even see the wedding." Not to mention he wasn't too keen on trying at the moment, given what he'd seen the last time he'd used his Dimensional Scream.

George's face fell in disappointment. "Oh, yeah, that's true…still, don't you want to try, just to see what it could be like?"

Hubie did not. He did not want to gaze into the future and see the enraged look on his best friend's face as he shouted invectives and hatred at him. "Right now, I'm a little more concerned about the present, and the future closer at hand," he said evasively. "A future that may or may not be influenced by Team Quantum…"

George scowled. "Oh yeah, those guys…you said you thought they might be here. Do you…I dunno, sense them?"

"…I'm not sure," Hubie said uncertainly. "I thought I felt…_something_ at one point during Latias's sermon, but now…I dunno. I still have this weird tingling sensation, but…I think that if they were here, they're long gone."

Hubie was incorrect. Team Quantum was present. In fact, they were actually standing right next to him. Nobody saw them due to the fact that they were in a state of temporal phase-shift, moving at a different speed than the rest of the world, stepping between seconds and slipping through gaps and moments in time while everyone else continued to perceive reality as progressing on a linear basis. "We should not be here," Aeon growled warily, his one eye darting all over the place. "Latias is already aware of our existence. If she were to detect us and force us into linear time to confront us, our plans could be ruined. We cannot afford to let that happen, not now, not when we're so close."

"I know. You're right, it's dangerous," Paradox said, floating next to him. "However, we had to be here anyway…to bear witness. This is an important event, and we had to make sure everything proceeded as it's supposed to."

"You're sure it wasn't just an excuse to see him?" Aeon sneered, glaring at the Piplup sitting only inches away, a look of concern frozen on his face. "He should not have seen us before. That was sloppy. If he regains his memories and his full powers, he could seriously jeopardize everything we've worked for…including what he's done, as well."

"That won't happen," Crono said edgily, hand straying for the hilt of his sword.

"It had better not. Because if he becomes a threat, we will have no choice but to…deal with him by any means necessary," Aeon said ominously.

Paradox winced in pain. "…Must we? Glenn—I mean, Hubie is…was…one of us."

The Dusknoir shook his head. "He may have been once, but he's not anymore. He now stands opposed to us," Aeon said. "He is not an enemy—yet—but he is no longer our friend, either."

"But…maybe if he remembered who he was, we could bring him around to our way of thinking-" Paradox said hesitantly.

"He was rather clear where he stood the last time he retained all his faculties," Aeon said coldly. "I doubt he'll have changed his stance much since then just because he spent a little while in linear time. In fact, if anything it's probably only made his feelings on the matter stronger than ever."

Paradox sagged. "Yeah…yeah, you're probably right."

"…So this is how it is, huh?" Crono said unhappily.

"It is how it must be," Aeon said. "Come. We are finished with this instance. If you truly wish to bear witness, the next major event should begin shortly. Let us proceed to the opportune time to watch it."

"All right." Reluctantly, Paradox opened a time portal. Aeon immediately vanished into it. "Come on, Crono, let's go."

"…Yeah, all right," the Grovyle said, shaking his head and reluctantly turning away from Hubie. "Sorry…Glenn." They both walked into the portal and disappeared.

Hubie started. "Huh? Did you hear that?"

George blinked. "Hear what?"

"I…" Hubie frowned in puzzlement. "Never mind. It was…it was nothing." But it wasn't. Something told him that Team Quantum had been nearby…and then they had left for some reason, as always leaving more questions than answers. How did he know them? What was his connection to them?

And if he was tied to them…who was he, really?

"…Well. That was something," El Toro murmured.

"Y-yeah. Definitely," Lobo said, looking shaken, Latias's words resonating with something deep inside of him.

The Tauros shook his head. "Heh. I guess it was a good thing that _antorcha_ Sasha already neutered you, otherwise that speech might have done the same thing, eh amigo?"

Lobo frowned. "Actually…I think…"

El Toro glanced at him. "Yeah?"

"I think…I think I'm finally ready to try again," the Mightyena said.

El Toro did a double-take. "Wh-what? Really?"

Lobo nodded. "Si! _Senora_ Latias…she said that it is important for us to bring love into this world. That it strengthens everyone around us and weakens the forces of evil. I want…no, I _need_ to do something to help that process. I can't be afraid anymore. Just because I am having problems, does not mean I should be letting them taint how I behave around others. I am not going to cower in fear of the opposite sex anymore! From this day forward, El Lobo Fuerte is back in business!"

"_Excellente!_ But, uh, don't you think _Senora _Sasha might be angry to hear about that?" El Toro asked.

Lobo flinched at that. "…I'll try to take the, ah, advice she gave me into account in my future interactions with the _chicas._ And stay away from married _senoritas._ That, ah, should be enough to satisfy her…don't you think?"

"Let us hope so," El Toro murmured. "Or else you may find yourself in another world of hurt, amigo."

Lobo swallowed. "Tell me about it…"

"Woooow," Sandy said, tears streaming down her cheeks. "That was one of the most intense things I've ever seen."

"Yeah," Sickle said. "I still give it a month, though." Sandy looked at him in exasperation. "What? Their distant relatives weren't here to hear all that! They won't be inclined to think that Zeke and Sylvia's love is a good thing and should be allowed to flourish!" he insisted.

Sandy rolled her eyes. "You are such a pessimist…"

"Not entirely," Sickle said. "You know one thing I don't give a month?"

"What?" she snapped.

"This." He kissed her.

"…Oh," she said quietly several seconds later after he broke away.

"Yeah…well…" Sickle said, nervously scraping his blades together and glancing away, his face red. He couldn't believe what he had just done. He'd ruined everything…  
"Can…um, can we, uh, do that again?" Sandy said.

Sickle started, and then gave her an astonished look, hope rising once again. "Sure. Sure, we can do it as many times as you like."

And they kissed again, and many more times afterwards. They weren't the only ones.

"…Wow. That was…that was certainly not what I expected," Ignik said, having finished setting up the food in time to see Latias give her big speech and marry everyone, including his brother and Ete.

"Me neither," Chuck said, his hold on the Monferno's leash slack from wonder.

"Are all you civilized Pokémons' weddings like this?" Ignik asked.

"No. Mine certainly wasn't," Chuck said, somewhat disgruntled.

Ignik shook his head in a daze. "Darn, now _I_ want to get married…it looks and sounds a lot better than, ah, what we did back at Mt. Blaze…"

"Yeah, I'll bet," Chuck said drily. "Too bad no self-respecting free-thinking womon would ever want to be with you of her own free will."

Ignik sighed mournfully. "Tell me something I don't know."

Chuck frowned, feeling something akin to pity for the former barbarian for the first time. He didn't like it. "Come on," he grunted, tugging on Ignik's leash and pulling him away from the food-laden tables. "Let's get you something to eat. There must be some excess food we can slip you that nobody'll miss. Maybe a table scrap or two."

"Huh? You mean I'm actually gonna get some lunch?" Ignik asked excitedly.

"Well sure, you've gotta have something in you to sustain you for the next few hours you're going to spend waiting on people and serving hoers d'oeuvres," Chuck said. "Which you're not allowed to eat, by the way."

"Oh," Ignik said. He shrugged it off. "Eh, better than nothing."

"…Somehow, I think I've made a terrible mistake," Wes said slowly.

"Ya think?" Gonzap snapped.

Rui was sobbing uncontrollably and beating her paws against Wes's side. "Nooooo! Why did I have to be stupid and listen to you? We can do 'that' anytime, but we might have just missed out on being part of the best wedding ever! Anything else we try after this will be pathetic and disappointing in comparison! Stupid, stupid, STUPID Wes! Why-hy-hy-hy did I have to l-l-listen to yooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuu?" she wailed pathetically.

"I'm wondering the same thing," Wes said miserably. Rui continued pounding his side for a minute and Gonzap glared at him resentfully as he desperately tried to think of a way to make everything better. "Um…Delia's supposed to be planning another wedding for Ash and Pikachu and possibly their friends and some other people…and it's supposed to be even bigger and better than this one. Maybe we could ask if we can be part of it?"

Instantly Rui stopped crying and gave him a warm smile. "That's a wonderful idea, Wes. Thank you." Then she squealed and hugged him so tightly he started choking. "Eeeeeee! We're gonna get marriiiiiiiiiiiiiiied!"

"Not…if you…kill me…first," Wes gasped.

"Nah, Nurse Joy could probably resurrect you if that happened, if she got to you in time. Joys are creepy that way." Gonzap shuddered. "If they weren't so…_pink_ I'd say they were necromancers or something."

"Necromancers can't be pink?" Rui asked, loosening her grip on Wes and allowing him to take a few much-needed gulps of air.

"Well, there's a certain dress code they're supposed to adhere to if they want to be taken seriously, and it usually involves black. Lots and lots of black," Gonzap said. "With plenty of bones and skulls and other spooky things. If they're pink, nobody will respect or be afraid of them."

"Which…might actually be a good idea, because then everyone would underestimate them or think they were harmless," Wes wheezed slowly as he caught his breath.

They considered the implications of this for a moment. "Then…does that mean Nurse Joys _could_ be necromancers?" asked the horrified Rui.

"Well, nobody but them knows how they heal Pokémon or even bring back the freshly dead…" Wes said slowly. "Which would make sense, if they wanted to keep the fact that they're practicing some creepy necromantic juju on people a secret…"

"Arceusdammit, I knew their free no-questions health care was too good to be true!" Gonzap cursed. "From now on, I'm not going anywhere near a Pokémon Center unless I've got a trusty ol' Wheel of Arceus and any other holy symbols I can rustle up on me!"

"I think that you actually need faith for holy symbols to work for you," Wes said.

"Hey, I've got plenty of faith!" Gonzap said defensively.

"Okay. When's the last time you've prayed to any deity for any reason other than to ask for cash or to win the lottery?" Wes asked.

"…Dammit!" Gonzap swore.

"And I've seen plenty of images and little shrines for Arceus, Mew, and other gods in lots of Pokémon Centers," Rui said. "So they'd probably be immune to symbols anyway."

"Oh. Crap," Gonzap groaned, sagging.

"Wait…that might be a good thing, actually," Wes said. "If they've got holy icons put up all over the place, and lots of Pokémon praying to them right under their roof for healing, doesn't that mean they aren't practicing evil magic?"

They considered this for a moment. "I guess that makes sense," Rui said.

"Phew! That's a relief," Gonzap said. "Guess that means I don't have to cancel my date for next week and worry I'll be turned into a zombie or something."

"You got a date with Nurse Joy?" Wes asked incredulously. "How'd you manage that?"

"I asked," Gonzap said smugly. "Simple as that."

"Damn! Can't believe I never thought of that," Wes snarled. "Lucky bastard…"

"Ahem," Rui said.

"Not that I'm jealous or anything, especially when I have a wonderful womon like you in my life!" Wes said quickly.

"That's better," Rui said, mollified. Then she squealed and hugged him so tightly he started choking. "Eeeeeee! We're gonna get marriiiiiiiiiiiiiiied!"

"Ack! Didn't…we…just…do…this…joke?" Wes gasped.

Up on the altar, Latias smiled as all the conversations and thoughts and feelings from just about everyone attending the wedding, both seen and unseen, passed through her mind. She absorbed their joy and their laughter, thrilling in the rekindled life and love she had managed to spark in them all, gratified to see that she'd helped, even if only a little, to push so many other Pokémon into taking the leap and confessing or proposing or just strengthening whatever relationship was already there.

She was not so busy patting herself on the back or basking in the happiness from everyone around her to forget the _other_ reason they'd held the wedding and made sure that everyone in town and the Sky Tower attended, though. _Is he still here?_ She telepathically inquired Zorra, who was still making out with Aaron…or at least, it _looked_ as if she were. The Zoroark's illusions were really quite good. Latias was bemused to find that even now that she knew the illusionist's capabilities, it was still difficult for her to tell when she was crafting one or not.

_Yes. Still sitting exactly where he was when we came up the aisle,_ Zorra replied.

_Does he suspect anything?_ Latias asked.

_I don't think so. Then again, I'm not a mind reader, so it's kind of hard to tell,_ Zorra said.

_Well, I _am_ a mind reader, and I can't tell, so I guess we'll just have to hope he doesn't know we're onto him and go ahead as planned,_ Latias said.

_My mons are in position and awaiting orders. When we give the signal, they'll be on him in a heartbeat,_ Nuken, who Latias had included in the conversation, said.

_First we need to make sure the trap is set. We don't want him to get away,_ Aaron said.

_Chuck?_ Latias asked.

_I've put the Ninetales hairs you gave me in some of the food, marked it, and gave strict orders to the servers not to let _anyone_ near it but our target,_ the Makuhita said. _As soon as the reception starts and everyone starts eating, we'll make sure he gets it._

_And once he eats the bait, the trap will be sprung…_ Aaron started.

_And we'll have that traitor right where we want him!_ Nuken said eagerly.

_And be one step closer to getting my full powers back…and putting an end to this nightmare, once and for all,_ Latias said, a grim smile behind the benevolent one on her face. _Let's do this…_

As the newly married couples broke their embrace and turned to wave at the guests, who continued to applaud, Latias regretted that all their happiness would soon be turned to confusion and fear…but it had to be done. The evil sorcerer was right in their midst. For the sakes of Pokémon Square, and possibly the entire world, they had to stop him, no matter what the cost.

Even if it meant somewhat spoiling the lovely event Delia had spent so much time working on. She'd probably never forgive them for that. Oh well. Sometimes sacrifices had to be made for the greater good. (She hoped that sacrifice wouldn't include the wedding cake, though. She was rather looking forward to eating it.)

…

Meanwhile, somewhere…else…

"Wh…where am I?" Gary stammered. He looked around him. He could see nothing but reflective surfaces in every direction, even covering the floor and ceiling, like he was in some kind of crazy carnival house of mirrors or something. Each of those mirrors reflected the confused expression on his face back at him…except it wasn't the big goofy purple Gengar face he was used to, but that of his spiky-haired human incarnation, which he had nearly forgotten. He looked down at himself and was surprised to see that it wasn't just the mirrors that were showing his human form, somehow he'd gone from being a Gengar to looking like he used to over a thousand years ago as well. "Whoa…this is so…weird…do I really look like that?" He glanced at his arms, then at the mirrors, and then flexed his muscles. A grin formed on his face. "Damn…I look _good…_"

"I suppose it's gratifying that reincarnation hasn't changed that aspect of your personality too much, despite all these centuries," one of the reflections said in Gary's voice, causing Gary to jump in surprise, and all the other reflections to jump with him…all except for the one that had spoken, that was.

"Ack! Wh-who are you?" Gary stammered as the rogue reflection stepped out of its mirror—or had there ever been a mirror there, and was it standing there all along?—and approached him.

"You have nothing to fear from me, Gary. I am the spirit of the Mirror of Truth," the thing that looked exactly like Gary said.

"Then why do you look exactly like me?" Gary demanded.

The other Gary raised an eyebrow. "I'm a mirror. What else would I look like?"

"Huh? Oh. Uh, right. Good point," Gary said, blushing Mareepishly. "Um…so then why do I look human? I mean, I haven't looked like this for…at least a thousand years…"

"Gary, do you know why you are here?" the mirror spirit asked.

Gary raised an eyebrow. "Uh, yeah, I'm here to get some magical Compass piece/crest fragment/plot coupon from you so that I can rescue Princess Sara of the Mirage Kingdom and apparently fulfill some prophecy I just learned about in which I resurrect the ancient kingdom of Lemewria or something like that." He frowned. "Oh, wait, did you mean in the existential sense? Was I being too literal? Well then, I think I'm here because-"

"No, no, you had it right the first time," the spirit said, sounding annoyed…which meant it sounded like Gary being annoyed. Gary found this rather disturbing. Was that really what he sounded like? (If so, he liked it, he sounded…sexy.) "That's why you came in here, yes. Do you remember what you must do to obtain the piece of the Royal Crest?"

"…Oh, that," Gary said, the grin fading from his face. "I have to face a truth about myself. Something I'm not going to enjoy hearing. And if I can face this truth without going mad, you'll give me the thing I came here for, right?"

The spirit nodded. "Indeed. And the reason you have taken the form of your prior incarnation is because this truth is about something that happened when you were a human…something you have forgotten. Or rather, something you have misremembered."

Gary frowned. "Misremembered? What do you mean?"

"Tell me, Gary…what happened between you, Gardevoir, and Krysta the Ninetales one thousand years ago?" the spirit asked.

Gary groaned incredulously. "Oh, come on! _This_ again? I already went on a crappy spirit quest to make up for that with Ash a couple months ago in Murky Cave! I thought I was finally rid of that baggage, especially since it broke Gardevoir's curse! Enough already!"

"Answer the question. What happened?" the spirit said sternly.

Gary sighed wearily. "Fine. I was a stupid trainer who pulled Krysta's tails as a prank. She got pissed and tried to curse me in retribution, but Gardevoir took the hit for me. Krysta told me that I could save her if I accepted the curse instead, but I…I ran away…" He trailed off, his face sagging. "And in doing so, doomed Gardevoir to a thousand years of undeath, or something a lot like it…it was the worst thing I've ever done, and even though I was finally able to get over myself and break the curse, the guilt will haunt me forever. Which is ironic, since I'm a Ghost, and am supposed to do the haunting."

The mirror spirit nodded for a moment, and then said, "You're wrong."

Gary blinked. "Huh?"

"That's not what happened," the spirit said. "That's not what happened at all."

"What're you talking about?" Gary demanded. "Of course that's what happened! Everyone knows the story, and it's one of the few things about my past life I can remember with one hundred percent accuracy!"

"That's because the memory was planted," the spirit said.

Gary froze. "…What?"

"The old legend about what happened between you, Krysta, and Gardevoir is an almost complete and utter lie," the spirit said. "Your memories were altered upon your rebirth to lend credence to the story and increase belief in it…as well as divert suspicion from what _really_ happened, and the extent to which all of history has been manipulated towards a single outcome, an outcome which is fast approaching."

"I…I don't understand," Gary stammered in confusion. "My memories…aren't real? But…but everyone said-"

"'Everyone' was either lied to or in on it," the spirit said. "Krysta certainly lied. She would be in the perfect position to, since she's the one who cast the curse in the first place and the only person who can remember clearly what happened back then other than yourself…or so you thought. Don't you think it's convenient that you would have such a perfect memory of that event when Gardevoir, the Pokémon whom was cursed in the first place, didn't, and that almost all memories of her past were erased upon her resurrection, to prevent any evidence which would suggest the old legend was false from turning up?"

"…You're…you're saying I was set up?" Gary cried in astonishment.

"That's _exactly_ what I'm saying," the spirit said with a nod.

"But…but Gardevoir _was_ cursed, and I _am_ the reincarnation of her trainer! So…so how could the legend be a lie?" Gary protested.

"Gardevoir was cursed, and you were her trainer, yes," the spirit said. "But everything you believe you know about that moment in time, everything you and the rest of the world think they know about it, is a lie."

"That…that can't be…" Gary whispered. "You're just making this up to confuse me! And it's working!"

"I cannot lie. I am a Mirror of Truth," the spirit pointed out. "By that definition, I am incapable of telling anything but the absolute truth…even when it hurts. Just as this truth does: that almost everything you think you know of yourself and your past is a lie crafted by beings more powerful than you can possibly imagine so that you could ensure history would flow the way they have planned it."

"Prove it!" Gary said angrily, fighting off the ice-cold fingers of dread that the spirit's words were sending down his spine…as well as the nagging fear that maybe, just maybe, the reflection was onto something.

"That is why I am here. Come," the spirit said, stepping to the side and revealing a replica of the mirror Gary had stepped into to enter this place. "Look into the mirror, and the truth shall be made clear."

With great trepidation, Gary stepped forward and met the eyes of his reflection in the mirror…and he saw…

…

"Ah, another wonderful day in the outdoors!" Gary sighed happily as he made breakfast for himself and his faithful Umbreon, somewhere in the wild forests far from the rest of the civilized world. "Isn't this the life, Umbreon? No cars, no skyscrapers, no television…just you, me, my Pokémon, and the wonders of nature!" Umbreon, who rather liked riding in vehicles instead of walking everywhere, enjoyed air conditioning and refrigerated food, and absolutely loved soap operas and horror movies, grunted. She understood and respected her trainer's desire to become a great Pokémon researcher like his grandfather…but did they have to do it out in the middle of nowhere, with none of the amenities of modern civilization? She was a trained Pokémon, she expected a better quality of living than the unlucky mons who lived out in the wild. Surely Gary could study Pokémon just as well in the city as he could in the wilderness, couldn't he?

Apparently not. And she couldn't get much appetizing in the way of meals, either, ever since Gary had started making his own Pokémon food rather than using the store-bought stuff Umbreon had grown to almost exclusively eat. The poor dear meant well, but cooking for Pokémon really wasn't something he was especially good at, something he so far seemed to be completely oblivious to despite his team's best efforts to subtly and not-so-subtly tell him as much. There were times when she wondered if it was really the language barrier that was the problem, or if humans were this obtuse on purpose.

Fortunately, she was spared having to test that morning's pungent experiment when a mail-Pidgeot swooped down and landed near their campsite, distracting Gary. "Huh? Someone sent me something all the way out here? I wonder what it could be…" he murmured as he walked over to the waiting bird. The instant his back was turned, Umbreon dumped her food dish into some nearby bushes and started creeping over to the table where Gary had set up his own breakfast to swipe some of her trainer's meal.

As Gary approached the Pidgeot, the big bird untied a parcel attached to its leg and nudged it across the ground towards the human. Gary picked it up and examined the return address, his face lighting up in surprise. "Hey, it's from Gramps! Maybe it's that new C-Gear I wanted; I hear they're all the rage in Unova!" As the Pidgeot, its duty fulfilled, spread its wings and took off; Gary turned and headed back to the campsite to open the package. Seeing her trainer coming, Umbreon quickly swallowed the mouthful or two of scrambled eggs she'd managed to sneak off of Gary's plate and rushed back to her empty food dish before he noticed she'd been gone. As he pondered what his grandfather could have sent him, Gary glanced at Umbreon and saw that her bowl was empty. "Hey, you finished! Wow, that was fast. Guess you must have really liked it, huh girl?" Umbreon nodded, an innocent grin on her face. "Then it's a good thing I made plenty more! Have some seconds!" he said, dumping another extra-large helping of his poorly-made Pokémon food into the Dark Pokémon's bowl. "Eat up!" he said cheerfully, failing to notice the twitch in her eye or how her grin had become noticeably strained.

While Umbreon reluctantly started nibbling on her breakfast, Gary sat down at the table and opened his gift. Much to his disappointment, it was not in fact the new C-Gear he wanted, but a Pokéball. "A Pokémon? Well, that's very nice of Gramps, but can it communicate wirelessly, take pictures, or battle with other trainers online? Hmm, there's a note attached…let's see what's up."

He unfolded the letter that had been folded next to the Pokéball and squinted as he tried to make out his grandfather's Torchic-scratch handwriting. "'Dear Gary: Thank you for your latest report on the mating habits of wild Torterra. It was very informative, though I have to wonder if your getting into an animatronic Torterra and trying to pass yourself off as one of them to get more data was strictly necessary.' Well duh, of course it was, I was trying to be thorough!" Gary snorted. Umbreon wondered if 'thorough' meant the same thing as 'sitting awkwardly inside an extremely hot animatronic suit for several hours as a rather near-sighted Torterra tried to court and mate with him.' "'In fact, I have to wonder if the other methods you've been using recently to obtain data are strictly necessary. You're putting yourself at far more risk than you should be, and while I understand that much information can be gained from being right in the middle of things, you can learn just as much by observing from a distance, without tipping the Pokémon you're studying off that someone is spying on them.' Well, yeah, I guess that's true, but that's not nearly as exciting!" Gary said out loud. Umbreon stared at him in disbelief, wondering if they had the same definition of the word 'exciting.' "'If you insist on continuing to take such risks in the pursuit of knowledge, I won't stop you. I was your age once too, and I understand the thrill and passion that comes from interacting with Pokémon in their natural setting and learning everything you can about them, even if it occasionally involves running for your life while screaming at the top of your lungs.' Oh come on, I didn't scream _that_ much…" Gary murmured, which both he and Umbreon knew was a complete lie. "'However, if you choose to keep being this reckless, I would like to ask that you accept this new Pokémon I've sent you for your own protection. Its species are renowned for being excellent bodyguards and loving caretakers, and should be more than up to the task of keeping you from getting your head bitten off by the Ursaring you accidentally managed to wake up while examining its cave to see what food it ate before hibernation.' Hey, I don't need a babysitter!" Gary said indignantly. "And that Ursaring wasn't going to bite off my head! Maybe a finger or two, but I'm pretty sure it would've left my head alone! Mainly because I'm pretty sure my shampoo is poisonous to most Pokémon…" Umbreon rolled her eyes. "'Now, I'm sure you're shaking your head and saying you don't need a babysitter-"" Gary blinked. "Whoa, Gramps knows me pretty well, doesn't he?" Umbreon nodded. "'But I'd like you to give this Pokémon a try. Not only is it an especially powerful specimen of its species, it has a couple of other traits I believe you will find most…interesting that may help you further your research. I'm sure you'll become good friends. Love, Gramps. P.S. Remember to change-'" Gary turned red, groaned, and facepalmed. "For the love of…Gramps, I'm not Ash! Ugh, he's been hanging around Mrs. Ketchum too much…" Umbreon snickered.

Gary folded up the note and frowned at the Pokéball. "Well, I'm kind of insulted he doesn't think I can take care of myself (_Which you can't,_ Umbreon thought to herself), I guess he means well…and I suppose another Pokémon to have on hand couldn't hurt in case of emergencies." He scratched his chin. "Wonder what he meant by 'interesting traits'…well, let's crack 'er open and see for ourselves!" He picked up the Pokéball and hurled it away. "Go, Pokéball!"

The red and white sphere flew through the air and popped open at the arc of its ascent, a bolt of white energy crackling out and striking the ground, taking on the form of a tall, elegant, and very beautiful green and white humanoid Pokémon. "Whoa, cool, a Gardevoir!" the awed Gary said. "I've always wanted one!...And not because I think they're really attractive or anything like that, I'm not that kind of guy!" he insisted when Umbreon gave him a look.

The Gardevoir opened her eyes, revealing magnificent ruby-red irises. She gave Gary and Umbreon a very warm smile that seemed to light up the campsite. _Greetings, master. How may I assist you?_

"Gah! There's a voice in my head!" Gary screamed, jumping in alarm. "Oh no, it's finally happening…I've gone insane due to lack of human contact and having nobody to talk to but my Pokémon for weeks on end! Gramps warned me that sometimes researchers who spent too long in the wild went a little screwy, but I scoffed and said that could never happen to me! Clearly I was wrong…what's next? Am I going to strip off my clothes, cover myself in mud and dirt and start swinging from the treetops? I can't do that! My hair'll be ruined!"

Umbreon and the Gardevoir sweatdropped. _Er…no, master, you're not going insane. It's just me,_ the Gardevoir said apologetically. _I'm speaking to you telepathically._

The human sighed in relief. "Oh! Okay then, that's a load off my—wait, did you say you're speaking to me telepathically?" Gary cried in astonishment.

_Um, yes, I just said that,_ the Gardevoir said.

"Oh, yeah, you did…but…wait, you can't do that!" Gary protested.

The Gardevoir frowned. _Why not?_

"Well, uh…I mean, yeah, I've heard Gardevoir can sometimes form telepathic links with their trainers, but usually they have to be with those trainers for a very long time, and even then they tend to communicate more in images and sensations than actual words," Gary said. "But…you're talking to me like a human—well, except most humans don't talk mind-to-mind—even though we've just met! How are you doing that?"

_Oh! Well, I've always been very good at empathizing with other creatures, even more so than most others of my kind,_ the Gardevoir explained. _I can read and connect to the hearts of people I've just met within seconds, rather than taking ages to build up a strong enough telepathic link like most other Gardevoir. That includes being able to communicate through such psychic links more clearly and efficiently than others of my kind, which is why you are able to hear my thoughts in a manner that makes sense to you rather than as a jumble of complex images and sensations._

"…Whoa. Gramps was right, that is _definitely_ an 'interesting' trait that will help further my research," murmured an amazed Gary. He frowned. "Waaaaiiiit…does that mean you're reading my mind right now and seeing everything I'm thinking?"

_Oh no, that would be most impolite,_ she said. _I cannot do that without your permission. However, I am still…connected to you in a sense. We can communicate telepathically, and I can detect your emotions and surface thoughts and respond to them to better serve you. Your grandfather told me that you were always getting into trouble, and thought that if I were to form a bond with you I could help protect you from danger, as well as give you a better insight into the minds and lives of the Pokémon you are studying in the field._

"…Wow! That is so cool!" Gary gushed excitedly. "Then…then that means you can translate what wild Pokémon, or even _my_ Pokémon are saying?"

The Gardevoir nodded. _Indeed._

"Then…quick, tell me what Umbreon is thinking!" Gary said, pointing at the surprised Umbreon, who blinked.

_Um…I cannot, Master. She is a Dark-type. I can't read her mind, though I can sense what she feels to a degree,_ the Gardevoir said.

"Oh," Gary said. "Right. Um…and what is she feeling right now?"

_Annoyance. And hunger. I don't think she likes the food you make,_ the Gardevoir said.

Gary frowned. "What? What gives you that idea?" Umbreon flipped her bowl upside-down, dumped the food on the ground, and blasted it with a Shadow Ball. Gary sweatdropped. "Oh…well…why didn't you tell me in the first place!"

"Umbreon!" Umbreon snarled at him.

_She says she did,_ the Gardevoir said as Umbreon continued hissing and ranting at her trainer. _Repeatedly. As did the rest of your team. Several times. You never noticed._

"…Oh. Uh…sorry…" Gary said, looking embarrassed.

_She also says she hates the outdoors, and wants to go back to a city where she can get a proper meal and catch up on her favorite shows, and that she thinks your hair is stupid, and-_ the Gardevoir said.

"My hair is WHAT?" Gary cried.

_I'm only translating,_ the Gardevoir said meekly, flinching at his outburst and the anger radiating off him.

Realizing she was reacting negatively to his emotions, Gary struggled to get his temper under control. "Sorry, Gardevoir…I guess there's downsides to being this empathic, huh?" he apologized.

_It is no bother, master,_ the Gardevoir assured him. _My kind are used to feeling the emotions of others. I just do it a little more…strongly than most. It helps me to bond with and befriend humans and Pokémon, as well as to protect them from danger. As a Gardevoir, it is my duty to serve and protect others to the best of my ability…and I have _plenty_ of ability in that regard,_ she said proudly.

"So I can see!" Gary said admiringly. Umbreon glared at him. "Not like _that._ Geez!" he hissed in annoyance.

_I'm sorry?_ The Gardevoir asked, looking perplexed.

"Er, never mind, it's not important," Gary said quickly.

_Are you certain? Because I thought I detected a trace of-_ the Psychic started.

"It's wonderful to have you on the team, Gardevoir!" Gary said very loudly, stepping forward and shaking her hand before she could say another word.

_Oh! I am happy to be on the team, master_, the Gardevoir said, sounding delighted. She…_felt_ delighted, too, Gary feeling a surge of giddiness and joy that he was fairly certain hadn't come from him. Were these Gardevoir's emotions bleeding over through that psychic link thing? He supposed he should have been concerned that it went both ways, since it meant he'd be getting glimpses into the mind of another person, but…it felt…nice somehow. He wasn't sure he minded it at all.

Gary grinned. "I think this is going to be the start of a beautiful friendship, Gardevoir." Umbreon glared at him. "And not _that_ kind of friendship! For the love of Arceus, what is _with_ you today?"

_I believe she is hungry, Master,_ the Gardevoir said.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, because she doesn't like the food I make…ungrateful vulpine/cat thing…" Gary grumbled. Umbreon growled at him, and Gary quickly said, "Uh, say, Gardevoir, I don't suppose you would happen to know how to cook, would you?"

_Most certainly, Master. I am a caretaker and protector by nature. Nurturing, safeguarding, and assisting my charges is instinctive for me. That includes feeding them,_ the Gardevoir said.

"Great!" Gary said in relief. "Then that means I don't have to make meals for myself anymore, and my Pokémon will stop mocking me behind my back!"

"Umbri umbreon bri umbreon," Umbreon said.

_She says that they'll never stop mocking you behind your back, especially so long as you keep using that terrible-smelling conditioner,_ the Gardevoir said.

"Hey, my conditioner does _not_ smell terrible!" Gary snapped. "…Does it?" Umbreon nodded. Gary scowled. "Well, okay, but you won't be able to mock me behind my back anymore because Gardevoir here will tell me everything you're saying!"

Umbreon smirked. "Bribri umeon umbreon eonbri eon."

_She says that's fine, she'll just mock you to your face from now on,_ the Gardevoir said.

Gary sweatdropped. "Eh, I'll take what I can get. So, uh, why don't you show us some of that cooking skill of yours so we can get my Pokémon happy enough to stop dissing me for the moment."

"Breon eonum umbri bri umbri," Umbreon said.

_She said-_ the Gardevoir started.

"Thanks, but I think I caught the gist of it," Gary said deadpan.

The Gardevoir proceeded to take Gary's supplies and food-preparation equipment, along with an assortment of berries, leaves, and other material she was able to gather from the surrounding forest, and in short order was able to whip up enough batches of Pokémon food of such high quality that it outdid even the restaurants that catered to Pokémon to feed the rest of Gary's team, including herself. The looks of pure joy on his Pokémon's faces and the rate at which they gobbled down their meal and asked for seconds and thirds and fourth spoke volumes to Gary at his newest Pokémon's culinary skills…and made him feel rather inadequate about his own. "Sounds like they're all pretty happy to have you on board," Gary commented as his Pokémon surrounded the Gardevoir and eagerly talked to her at great length.

The Gardevoir nodded. _They are. They enjoyed my food so much they're begging me to give them the chance to mate with me to show their appreciation._

"Gah? Uh, really?" Gary asked, startled.

_Oh yes,_ the Gardevoir said, not seeming the least perturbed by the propositions she was getting. _I promised them we could do it later, since we probably have a great distance to cover today if we are to reach the watering hole where the Bastiodon you've been tracking tend to gather._

"…Ah," Gary said vaguely, not sure what to make of this. "I, uh, didn't realize you were…er…that kind of womon, Gardevoir. Isn't it a little…early to, um, choose a mate from my team?...and to do it with all of them?"

Gardevoir frowned in puzzlement as the other Pokémon snickered at their trainer's cluelessness. _No. Why would it be?_

"…Okay, clearly I'm missing something here," Gary said.

"Umbreon umbreon umbri eon eon brium!" Umbreon said cheerfully.

_She says that something is a girlfriend, and suggests you mate with me later as well,_ the Gardevoir translated.

Gary's eyes bulged out of his sockets as his Pokémon laughed at him. "WHAAAAAT? Why…how the…why would she even say something like…I-I would never! I'm not the kind of guy who would do that with any Pokémon, especially his own!"

_You do not wish to participate, then?_ Gardevoir asked, looking disappointed.

Gary turned very red. "N-no! Why…why would you even suggest something like that? I'm not a Pokémon!"

_So?_ The Gardevoir asked.

"…So? What do you mean, 'so?'" asked the confused Gary. "We're completely different species! That's, whaddyacallit, bestiality! Or Pokémonality! Or…something like that. Yeah. Either way, it's bad, and most definitely illegal, and not something I'm going to do. Why would you even _offer_ to do that?"

She looked hurt. _It is my nature. Gardevoir care for and empathize with others. We seek to protect them and bring them happiness._

Gary blinked. "And by happiness, you mean…"

_Mating. Yes, sometimes. Well, quite often, actually,_ Gardevoir said, blushing.

"So you're so desperate to make everyone around you happy you're whoring yourself out to them?" Gary asked, looking disgusted.

_Certainly not!_ The Gardevoir said, sounding offended. _I'm merely following my species' instincts and mating habits._

"…Which is promiscuity?" Gary asked.

She rolled her eyes. _Oh dear…I take it you are unaware of how and why my kind chooses partners, aren't you?_

"Clearly, because so far this is making absolutely no sense to me," Gary said. "Or explaining why you seem to think it would be okay to, er, mate with me. Your trainer. Who is not a Pokémon. I know that Gallades usually form large harems, and Gardevoirs tend to either do the same thing or become part of a Gallade's, which doesn't really explain to me what's going on here."

_Species does not matter to my kind. We are capable of loving a person no matter whom or what they are, so long as they have a strong heart that appeals to our own,_ Gardevoir said. _Remember, we're empaths. We can sense the emotions and feelings of others, and from that tell what sort of person they really are…including whether or not they are worthy of our affections._

Gary blinked. "…Huh. That's interesting. And…what, this ability of yours tells you that my Pokémon would make good matches for you?"

Gardevoir nodded. _Indeed, as would you._

Gary chose to ignore that. "Okay, but why so many of them? Why not just one?"

_Oh, we could never love just one person, Master,_ Gardevoir said. _Well, all right, we _could,_ but it's quite rare. We have very big hearts—and according to some, libidos to match—and so have more than enough love to share with everyone. It is seen as selfish to keep all that love to ourselves, or to one person. Love enriches the world around us and makes the lives of everyone we come in contact with better in some way or another, so we see the spreading of our love as our way of helping to make the world a better place._

"By sleeping with lots of people," Gary said. "How very Mewrian of you."

Gardevoir rolled her eyes. _That's _part_ of it. You seem rather hung up on that for some reason. It's not all there is to this. We genuinely love the people we bond with. We would never mate with someone we did not love._

The gears in Gary's head slowly turned as he pondered this, bringing forth a horrible realization. "Wait…but if you're offering to mate with me, then…"

_I love you? Yes, wasn't that obvious?_ Gardevoir said.

"But-but-but y-you can't!" Gary stammered as his Pokémon laughed again. "I mean, we just met! How-how can you even say-"

_Quite easily. Psychic and empathic, remember? I already know the real you,_ Gardevoir said. _It only takes a few seconds for my kind to assess the heart of another and decide if it is one that we could love. _

"And…and you think _mine_ is…" Gary said slowly.

She nodded. _Certainly. It is…a bit rough around the edges, and flawed, but not without its own charm. With a little polish and care, it can be a truly magnificent thing._

"…Wow. That's…um, that's not something anyone's ever told me before," Gary said, shaken. "I mean, all my cheerleaders and exes were interested in my looks or my money or my grandpa, but…you're interested in me for _me_?"

_Yes,_ Gardevoir said with a smile. _Well, that and my kind usually can't help falling for our trainers. Something about being intimately bossed around by somebody else has an appeal for some that's rather difficult to resist._

"Oooookay, not touching that one," Gary said slowly. "Wait…then does that mean that all those rumors of trainers who, ah, do it with their Gardevoir or Gallade are…"

_Based on fact? Yes, some of them might be. Not all, though, which I find puzzling, since there are few I could think of that would willingly turn aside the affections of someone like me,_ Gardevoir said, looking honestly dumbfounded by this concept. From the admiring looks on the faces of Gary's Pokémon, she wasn't the only one. Gary briefly found himself thinking the same thing, but caught himself, though probably not before Gardevoir picked up on it. If she did, she made no comment.

Taking a deep breath, he said, "That's, um, very flattering…and more than a little eye-opening…and while I, uh, appreciate your feelings for me, I'm not sure I'm really in a position to, ah, return them. I mean…I'm a human. I like human females. No offense, you're a pretty Pokémon—a _very_ pretty Pokémon—but you aren't my type. Um…sorry." He fidgeted awkwardly. "I hope this, uh, doesn't ruin our relationship as trainer and Pokémon…such as it is…"

_Not at all, Master. I am somewhat disappointed, but unsurprised. As I said, not every trainer returns the feelings of their Pokémon,_ Gardevoir assured him. _But even if you choose to remain 'just friends,' I will continue serving you as faithfully as I can. I will protect you and your team from any dangers we may encounter, even if it means sacrificing my own life in the process. I can do no less for the people I love._

"Thank you. I feel safer already, knowing I have you watching my back," Gary said, still not sure how to deal with her…'loving' him. He'd never really expected something like this to happen to him. He was used to human girls having a crush on him, but a Pokémon? That was the sort of thing that tended to happen to guys like Ash…who seemed to have all the ladies swooning over him, both human and Pokémon. (Like that creepy Bayleef back at Gramps's lab…there was something seriously wrong with that Pokémon. Tracey had once said he'd seen the Bayleef praying to and making out with an effigy of Ash in a stalker shrine she'd built somewhere on the ranch out of bits and pieces she'd stolen from the Ketchum household. Gary had dismissed this story as hyperbole at the time, but now he wasn't quite so sure.) "Uh, one thing though…you don't have to call me 'Master,' you know. I have a name."

She smiled. _Very well then. If that is your wish, I will call you by your name…Gary._

"Cool! Uh…and what am I supposed to call you?" Gary asked. "I mean, some trainers nickname their Pokémon, but I've never really bothered, so…do you have a name of your own or something? I mean, I could call you by your species name if you like—like most trainers seem to do—but if you've got a name I'd be more than happy to use it."

Gardevoir blinked. _My name? I'm not sure you could understand it._

"Try me," Gary said.

_All right._

Gary suddenly saw a flash of images with accompanying sensations and feelings that stimulated his sensory organs. Delight, sunshine, the smell of summer rain. He blinked. "What was that?"

_That was my name,_ Gardevoir said.

"What? But…that wasn't a name, it was a bunch of…stuff!" said the confused Gary.

_My kind is Psychic. We don't need to communicate in words with each other if we don't want to, so often we choose names that can be somewhat difficult to translate into speech,_ Gardevoir said. _It's a bit inconvenient for those who aren't Psychic, admittedly, but it also means we can reserve our names for those we are closest to._

"Oh," Gary said. "Wait, then how do people who aren't Psychic address you?"

_They tend to say, 'Hey you' or 'Hey Gardevoir.' While many Pokémon have names, it's not as big a deal for us as it is for humans,_ Gardevoir explained. _We have a greater awareness of ourselves and our connections to each other and to nature than humans do, so subconsciously know when it's us someone is talking to, even if they call us by our species name among a group of others of the same race._

"Ooh, neat!" Gary said. "Wow, Gramps was right, you really _are_ a major asset, I've already learned a ton of stuff from you and I only just met you! So…what _do_ you want me to call you?"

_Any name you choose for me will be sufficient,_ Gardevoir said.

"Well, I've never been good with nicknames, so…the best thing I can think of is to just call you by your species name. Is that okay?" Gary asked.

Gardevoir shrugged. _I have no problem with it. If it makes things easier for you, I would be more than happy to go by that name._

"Then Gardevoir it is! Welcome to the team!" Gary said, shaking her hand.

_I am happy to be here…Gary,_ Gardevoir said, smiling warmly.

The team was happy to have her there, too. Perhaps a little too happy. Happy enough, in fact, that Gary found himself having to wear earplugs at night to get any sleep. In spite of that, however, he found himself liking and growing to depend on Gardevoir more and more as time went on and they continued trekking across the wilderness, observing Pokémon in their natural habitat and learning about their lifestyles and habits. Not only did Gardevoir prove to be a valuable asset in helping Gary to understand these wild Pokémon and learn things about why they did the things they did that no other researcher had discovered, on more than one occasion she had saved his life when his recklessness and stubborn determination to make a discovery no matter how dangerous it was to him put him in mortal peril. After a while, he stopped putting her in her Pokéball at all and kept her beside him at all times like he did Umbreon, rationalizing it as a way to make it easier for her to protect him in case he found himself walking into a pit trap or into the territory of a hostile Pokémon (again). The fact that she was an excellent person for him to have a conversation with and not only bounce some of his own frustrations and observations about the world off of, but always seemed to have some new tidbit or piece of fascinating information about the world they lived in that he greedily jotted down and made sure to send off to his grandfather along with his weekly reports, had nothing to do with it. No sir, nothing at all.

The Professor's replies indicated he was pleased that Gary was making such good use of his new partner, though the fact that he kept asking how 'close' he had gotten with Gardevoir was starting to get on Gary's nerves. Was Gramps trying to insinuate something? For the last time, he wasn't interested in Pokémon that way! She was just a friend—a very _good_ friend—and no amount of sly hints from his grandfather or coy suggestions and double entendres from Umbreon (Why did Gardevoir feel it necessary to translate all of those and explain them in great detail just in case Gary didn't understand the context due to the interspecies difference?) or erotic dreams he ABSOLUTELY DID NOT HAVE NO MATTER HOW MUCH ANYONE ELSE SAID OTHERWISE was going to change that.

Unfortunately, all good things come to an end, and after a couple of months of increasingly pleasant times together, Gary and Gardevoir were forced to part ways. Neither of them had any say in the matter.

It had all started so innocuously. They were hiking through a mountain pass towards the nearest town so Gary could pick up some supplies and sleep in an actual bed for a change. Gardevoir was gliding gracefully next to him as always, while Umbreon was taking a rest in her Pokéball because she complained that the hard rocks were hurting her paw pads. Gary was perfectly fine with this, because it meant the sharp-tongued Dark-type wouldn't be heckling him for a while. (Though he was sure she'd have a few things to say about how he and Gardevoir had gotten to spend so much quality 'alone time' together later, something he wasn't particularly relishing.) They spent most of the climb talking about mountainous Pokémon and how their lifestyles and temperaments differed from Pokémon who lived in forests and flatlands, and Gardevoir told him a rather entertaining story about a cousin of hers who'd shacked up with an Onix (Gary had long ago given up on trying to understand compatibility issues with Pokémon, which seemed to be virtually nonexistent. Gardevoir had offered to explain how such things were possible, but Gary had loudly declared that there were some things man was not meant to know, or at the very least not this man, and somebody else could figure it out for themselves if they were really that interested. This had naturally elicited a comment from Umbreon about how he might change his mind if he were to have Gardevoir 'demonstrate' the compatibility matter personally, which resulted in her getting no dinner. She thought it was worth it, until Gary decided she couldn't get any nooky for the next two weeks. She chewed up all his socks in retribution, which only got her punishment extended to three weeks.) when she stiffened. Gary frowned, sensing (literally) a hint of distress from his companion. "What is it? Is something wrong?"

Gardevoir frowned. _I…I am not certain. I thought I sensed something, but…_ She shook her head. _It's gone now._

"Was it dangerous?" Gary asked in concern.

_It felt very powerful…but whatever it is, it's no longer here,_ she said, looking perplexed.

"Ooh! Do you think it might have been a legendary Pokémon?" Gary asked giddily, the prospect of encountering a legendary far outweighing any worry he might normally have felt at Gardevoir's uneasiness. (Not that he felt much worry anyway…)

_I do not know. It was an unfamiliar energy signature,_ Gardevoir said. _All I know is that it's incredibly strong._

"Cool! We should investigate!" Gary said.

Gardevoir frowned. _I'm not certain that's such a good idea. As I said, it felt very powerful…maybe even too powerful for me to handle. In addition, it's no longer here._

"Oh. Well…then we should go check out where you sensed it," Gary reasoned. "Since if it's no longer there, there's probably no danger, and we might be able to get a clue as to what it was and what it was doing here."

…_I suppose you have a point,_ Gardevoir admitted reluctantly. _Even so, we should be on our guard. I am not the most precognitive of my kind—my increased empathy seems to have come at the cost of my prescience—but I get a strong feeling that something…bad is about to happen._

Gary frowned at this. "How bad?"

_Well, I'm not an Absol, so I can't be very precise, but…the fact that I can sense it this far in advance suggests it's something _very_ bad,_ Gardevoir said with a shiver.

Gary frowned. Now he was starting to get second thoughts as well. Her fear was infectious…literally, thanks to their psychic bond. "Can we avoid it?"

She hesitated for a moment before shaking her head. _I do not think so. It…pervades the mountain ahead of us. I do not think we can dodge it without going back the way we came and circumventing the entire mountain…and even then, I am uncertain that we will be safe from it…whatever _it_ is._

Gary considered this, his usual instinct, which would be to charge right towards the problem, feeling somewhat inadequate for this. "I'm not sure that's a good idea. It would take us days to get around the mountain on foot, and I don't think we have enough supplies to make it that far, especially in this terrain. Can you Teleport us to the town we're heading towards?"

Gardevoir shook her head. _I cannot transport us to somewhere I've never been._

"Okay, what about the last town we visited?" Gary suggested.

_We are out of range. It is beyond my abilities,_ she said apologetically.

Gary chewed his lip in thought for a moment. He sighed, giving in to his initial impulse. "Then I guess we have no choice but to go forward."

_Are you certain?_ Gardevoir asked.

Gary shrugged. "Well, you said there's a good chance that we can't avoid this danger even if we go back down the mountain, and there's no way for us to reach our destination aside from that other than going straight ahead. If this thing you're sensing is really inevitable, then we might as well face it on our own terms."

_I suppose that makes sense,_ Gardevoir admitted reluctantly. _However, we must try to be very careful, Gary. As I said…something about this does not sit well with me at all._

Gary grimaced. "I'm beginning to feel the same way."

They continued through the pass in silence for a while. (Well, physical silence, Gardevoir still talked telepathically to Gary, and he did his best to respond nonverbally. He wasn't very good at communicating mind-to-mind, since his human brain wasn't really built for it, but he thought he was starting to get the hang of it.) As they proceeded and the Sun passed its zenith and continued on its path to the west, no threat materialized, yet Gardevoir asserted that her feeling of unease was getting stronger.

Gary's feeling of unease grew stronger, too, when he suddenly noticed something. "Gardevoir, when did we see the last wild Pokémon up here?" he asked.

Gardevoir frowned in thought. _At least…half an hour ago, and a kilometer or two behind us,_ she replied.

"Doesn't something about that seem odd to you?" Gary asked.

Gardevoir frowned. _How do you mean?_

"Can you sense any other wild Pokémon nearby?" Gary asked.

Gardevoir closed her eyes and concentrated, her lovely green hair flowing around her as a breeze of Psychic power wafted through it. She opened her crimson eyes a second later, a look of alarm evident in them as well as in her mental voice. _I do not. The closest one I can sense is the one we saw a while back. I do not detect any wild Pokémon nearby, not even burrowing beneath our feet._

"And since nothing about the area we're in appears to be particularly hostile towards habitation, that means there has to be something else about this place that's keeping them away from here," Gary concluded anxiously.

_This could be a sacred or forbidden place,_ Gardevoir suggested. _Such places exist in this world, areas that the gods have deemed off-limits to mortals such as us._

"But if that were the case, wouldn't we have seen some sign or received a warning telling us to stay the heck away from here?" Gary pointed out.

_That's true,_ Gardevoir agreed. _Which only leaves me with one other conclusion…that we have entered the territory of something very powerful and very dangerous, enough so to keep all the other Pokémon on the mountain away from it out of fear._

"But I thought you said you didn't sense any Pokémon," Gary said worriedly.

_I don't. But that doesn't mean there aren't any here. There are…ways to conceal oneself from a Psychic's third eye, methods other than being a Dark-type,_ Gardevoir said. _A Pokémon strong enough to stake a claim on this territory and intimidate all its neighbors away could certainly be powerful enough to hide itself from me…and it _would_ explain the growing sense of foreboding I've been having…_

"Okay, that's all I needed to hear," Gary said a little shrilly. "You know what, I think this high-altitude mountain air is starting to get to me. Why don't we head back down and take the scenic route? It'll be much nicer, and we'll be at far less risk of getting killed by a monster that neither of us can detect."

_I think that would be a very good idea,_ Gardevoir agreed quickly. She extended a hand. _Take my hand, and I will Teleport us back down to the base of the trail._

"Sounds good to me," Gary said as he walked back towards her…only to slip on some pebbles and start tumbling towards the ground, arms wheeling frantically. He did not know, nor would he ever, that he hadn't tripped…but had been pushed. "Waaaauuuuggghhh!" he screamed frantically.

_Gary!_ Gardevoir gasped, instinctively reaching out with her telekinetic powers to catch her trainer before he hit the ground.

"No, wait, I'm okay!" Gary shouted as he grabbed something dangling from the wall nearby and managed to arrest his descent. "Lucky I managed to catch this surprisingly soft and luxurious patch of lichen, or I might have broken something!" He frowned when he noticed that Gardevoir didn't look even remotely reassured, and in fact had gone pale(r) with horror. "Gardevoir?"

_Gary,_ she whispered, voice choked with terror. _That's not lichen._

Gary blinked as he turned to look at what he was gripping. "Huh? Then what-" His heart stopped in horror when he realized that he was gripping a tail. A soft, luxurious, golden-furred tail that was very warm to the touch…and one of nine. He heard a very low growl and felt the temperature slowly begin to rise as he looked upwards and met the red-eyed gaze of a very large, very beautiful, and very _angry_ Ninetales that had been sunning itself on top of the wall, her fur blending in with the yellowish rocks of the mountainside and rendering her almost invisible to the travelers until it was too late. "Oh no."

_YOU!_ The Ninetales shrieked in a telepathic voice so loud that it caused Gardevoir to gasp in pain, sent Pokémon miles away down the mountain racing away, and caused Gary to start bleeding from all his orifices. _You DARE to touch one of my tails?_

"I-it was an accident!" Gary stammered, letting go of the tail he was gripping and scrambling backwards, desperately brushing the hairs stuck on his palm off on his pants. "I didn't mean to-"

_SILENCE!_ the Ninetales roared, bringing both trespassers to their knees in pain as an inferno blazed up around her, one so hot that it melted the stone she was sitting on, burned Gary's skin, and set his heavily conditioned hair on fire, causing him to scream in agony as he desperately tried to beat it out. _I do not care for your pathetic excuses! You have committed an unforgivable sin, and for that there can only be one punishment!_ She rose to her feet, her nine tails splayed out behind her, her burning golden fur so brilliant it was like she had become a second Sun. _A THOUSAND-YEAR CURSE!_

"Um, is this the good kind of curse, in which I'm cursed with good lucks or awesomeness, or the bad kind of curse, which would involve me being turned into a horrible monster or given a fate so awful I'd want to scream, but couldn't?" Gary asked.

_I think it is the second one,_ Gardevoir said.

_It's the second one!_ The Ninetales said.

"The second one. Yeah, that's what I was afraid of," Gary said miserably. "You don't think that's a _tiny_ bit excessive, do you?"

_Not in the slightest, no,_ the Ninetales said.

"Oh well, worth a try," Gary grumbled.

_Prepare yourself for a millennium spent as a bodiless spirit, wandering the Earth without rest or end!_ The Nintetales said as the flames around her turned a dark purple.

"Wait, if it's a millennium, doesn't it mean it _will_ end in a thousand years?" Gary asked.

_Yes, but by that time you'll have been driven completely mad due to a thousand years of isolation and lack of sensation, so your torment will probably continue for a while afterwards, too,_ the Ninetales said.

"Oh," Gary said. "Are you _sure_ you're not overreacting just a little bit? All I did was grab one tail! By accident! For only a few seconds!"

_Didn't you once ban Blastoise from having snacks for a week because he got your hair wet?_ Gardevoir asked.

"…That was completely different!" Gary denied.

_That won't be much of a problem for you, since you won't have to worry about your hair getting wet for another thousand years…because until then, you won't have any!_ The Ninetales said.

Gary gasped in horror. "You mean I'll be BALD?"

The Ninetales gave him a dumbfounded look. _I…no, I mean, you won't have any real hair. You'll be a spirit._

"Oh," said Gary. "Wait, will I look like I do now?"

_Yes, but nobody will be able to see you. Including yourself,_ the Ninetales said.

"Eh, good enough. So long as I know I'm still as handsome as ever, I guess there'll be ONE silver lining to this whole mess," Gary said smugly, causing Gardevoir to facepalm.

The Ninetales' eye twitched. _…Yeah, you know what? I'm just going to curse you already, let's see if you're still so happy when you've spent a few centuries without anyone to talk to or the inability to eat or touch anything,_ she snapped, the dark flames around her roiling and convulsing wildly. _BEGONE!_

The flames launched off her and surged towards Gary, taking on the form of a gigantic fox head, its jaws opening wide to swallow the human up in a single bite. Gary screamed in terror and threw up his arms, bracing himself…

When he felt a familiar feathery-light touch on his arm. _Goodbye, my love._

There was a flash of light, and suddenly Gary found himself at the base of the mountain, with no flaming demon fox or giant curse in sight. He looked around in surprise. "Wh-what the…how did I get…" He snapped his fingers and grinned. "Ohhhh, you Teleported us out of there! Nice job, Gardevoir! I can't believe I didn't think of that! Come on, let's vamoose before that Ninetales comes after us and tries to curse me again!" There was no response. Gary looked around in puzzlement, suddenly realizing that Gardevoir was nowhere in sight. "Gardevoir? Where'd you go? Gardevoir?" He cast his thoughts out, trying to reach her through their psychic link.

His heart stopped. The link was gone. The warm, compassionate presence in the back of his mind he associated with Gardevoir, that he'd grown so used to he sometimes forgot it was even there, was gone. His blood froze as he suddenly remembered her last words, recalled what she had said about her calling, and the thing his Pokedex said was one of the most defining qualities of a Gardevoir…

That they would give their lives to protect their trainers. "No!" he screamed desperately, realizing what his most faithful Pokémon had done. "Gardevoir! GARDEVOIR! !"

Up in the mountain pass, the Ninetales flinched as the echoes of Gary's anguished cries reached her ears, mingling with the fading screams of unbearable agony as Gardevoir was consumed by the awesome power of the curse meant for her trainer, the dark flames engulfing her beautiful form and causing her to disappear without a trace. She closed her eyes as her features composed themselves into a look of regret. "I'm so sorry…I hope that you will one day be able to forgive me for what I have done to you…and to your trainer…" A tear rolled down her cheek.

A green vortex opened next to her, and a Dusknoir wearing mystical gauntlets and an Empoleon wielding a trident whose crest looked like the hands of a clock appeared from its depths. "An excellent job," the Dusknoir said, red eye gleaming. "You did exactly as we planned."

"By which you mean condemned an innocent Pokémon to an absolutely horrific fate and placed a burden of guilt upon an arrogant but otherwise blameless young man that I don't think even death will ever erase?" the Ninetales asked miserably.

"Precisely," the Dusknoir said.

The Empoleon raised an eyebrow. "It's a bit late to be feeling bad about this. As I recall, you're the one who agreed to do this. At no point did we force you to help us."

"No, you didn't need to," the Ninetales said bitterly. "You knew just the right things to say to coerce me into aiding you in your despicable scheme."

"Despicable? All we're trying to do is save the world," the Dusknoir said.

"Doesn't seem like it to me. So far it looks more like you're ruining people's lives, and doing nothing to _stop_ the end of the world, which we both know is coming in the near future," the Ninetales said sharply.

"That event is not something we can change," the Empoleon said. "The Earth will be destroyed, and all life on it will perish…but then it shall be remade, and all who died in the cataclysm will be born anew. If we interfered in that event, there's a possibility this planet and all who call it home will be killed for real."

"It's the disaster _after_ that we're trying to prevent," the Dusknoir said. "The one that threatens not just this world, but all others. And by cursing that Gardevoir today, you have brought us one step closer to preventing the destruction of all reality."

"So you say," the Ninetales said unhappily. "All I have is your word that the sin I have just committed will benefit everyone in the long run."

The Empoleon raised an eyebrow. "Even now, you still doubt? After everything we've shown you?"

The Ninetales shuddered. "N-no. I believe what you've said about the future…about the great disaster. The glimpses you've shown me…the Ruler of Evil reborn, the feeding frenzy of the Gaiavore, the fall of the Chosen One…those cannot be allowed to happen. If…if the terrible thing I have just done will help to prevent those horrors from occurring, then I suppose, in the end, it will be worth it…though I do not know if that poor Gardevoir will think so by the time her part in the events to come is through. Or if Arceus can ever forgive me for my crime…or if I will find the strength to do the same."

"Don't worry," the Dusknoir said. "It will all turn out well in the end, thanks to you. By cursing Gardevoir, you've ensured she'll survive the cataclysm and will eventually be resurrected not only with greater powers than before, but put her in the perfect position to help fight back the coming darkness."

"And Gary will have a part to play in that fight, too," the Empoleon said. "You and he aren't finished just yet."

The Ninetales sighed miserably. "I suppose you want me to curse him, too?"

"No. We want you to tell a story," the Empoleon said.

The Ninetales frowned. "A story?"

"After the world is recreated, we want you to tell as many people as you can that Gary—don't use his name, of course, just mention he was a greedy trainer-tugged one of your tails on a lark, and his Gardevoir took the resulting curse instead of him," the Dusknoir said. "And when you realized your mistake, you asked him if he wished to save her by taking the curse in his place. Instead, he ran like a coward, abandoning her to her fate."

The Ninetales recoiled in horror. "What? That's horrible!"

"We aren't finished," the Empoleon said. "You should say that after he fled, you had the following prophecy: _"That human will one day be reborn as a Pokémon...And when the human becomes a Pokémon...The world's balance will be upset..."_

"But none of that happened at all!" the Ninetales protested. "And that prophecy isn't the least bit true!"

"No, but people will believe it is, and often that's good enough to fulfill a prophecy anyway, no matter what its source is," the Dusknoir said.

"…No! I refuse!" the Ninetales said furiously. "What I have already done is bad enough. I will not make it worse by _lying_ about it, and making things that much harder for the poor boy when he eventually reincarnates!"

"You don't actually have a choice in the matter," the Empoleon said bluntly. "Whether or not you agree to help us, we'll still make sure that story is spread. If you don't go along with it, we'll be perfectly happy to 'erase' you and find another Ninetales who's more accommodating. Would you like that, Krysta? Would you like to be completely and thoroughly deleted from history, to have never existed at all?"

"Millions of deleted timelines exist within my stomach," the Dusknoir said, opening his jaws and revealing the horrific universe contained within. "One more person who never was won't take up too much space…"

Krysta scrambled backwards in terror, face going pale with fright at the sight of the dark dimension contained within the sinister Dusknoir. "N-no! Please! I…I-I don't want to have never existed! My impending death in a few months, the end of my thousand-year life, is bad enough, but…but at least if I die, that means I will have _lived!_"

"We thought you'd see things that way," the Dusknoir said, closing his jaws. Krysta sighed in relief.

"We don't expect you to do all of this without recompense, of course," the Empoleon said. "The agreement we made before still stands. In exchange for cursing Gardevoir and helping us further our plan to save the Omniverse, we will extend your lifespan significantly. Instead of dying before the cataclysm, and thus missing out on being reborn with everyone else, you'll live long enough to die with the rest of the planet, then be reborn and continue living on extra time to the point when Gary and the Chosen One will be reincarnated, and beyond. You will be able to experience all the wonders and delights of the new world for almost a thousand years unbothered and unanswerable to anyone until we need you again."

"All we ask you to do in that time is spread the story of the cursed Gardevoir and the greedy trainer," the Dusknoir said. "Anything else you choose to do during that millennium is fine with us, so long as you carry out that one task."

"…I suppose I can do that," Krysta said very reluctantly. "And what happens when Gary and the Chosen One _are _reincarnated?"

"The Chosen One will be accused of being the greedy trainer, and will come to you for answers," the Empoleon said. "You will tell him truthfully that he is not the trainer from the story. That is the _only_ truth you are to tell him, mind you."

"Afterwards, he will save the world. Again," the Dusknoir said. "After he has done that, you will provide him and Gary with the means to break Gardevoir's curse and restore her to life. After that, you will no longer be beholden to us and we will trouble you no more. You may live as you please from that point forwards with your extended lifespan, and can even take an active part in fighting against the forces that seek to destroy all of existence when they rear their ugly heads. With one catch."

"Of course there is," Krysta said, voice dripping with sarcasm. "And that would be?"

"You must not, at any point, ever tell anyone the truth about what happened here, or of your association with us," the Empoleon said. "Nobody can ever know. Not Gary, not the Chosen One, not your best friend, not even your lover. The instant you begin to tell, we'll know it, and take away the extra years we've given you, causing you to die the death you were meant for in a few months' time. Do you understand me? This _never_ happened."

Krysta nodded reluctantly. "I understand. I will keep our dealings a secret."

"Good. In that case, we should have no trouble with each other," the Dusknoir said curtly. "Thank you very much for your assistance, Krysta. Enjoy your new lease in life. Be careful not to squander it." He floated into the portal and vanished.

"Remember, we'll be watching. Don't do anything stupid out of some misplaced sense of guilt," the Empoleon said, backing towards the vortex. "It may not have been pretty, but you did what needed to be done to save the world. Remember that."

"Is that what you tell yourself every time you do something dreadful to somebody else? That it's all for the 'greater good?'" Krysta asked cynically.

"…I have to," the Empoleon said quietly. "Otherwise, what's the point?" He walked into the portal, the rift sealing behind him.

Krysta closed her eyes and laid her head down on her paws wearily, looking every bit her almost-one thousand years. "Truly a devil's bargain…to extend my life at the cost of somebody else's, and all at the vague assurances of a group of so-called 'time travelers' that it'll all turn out well in the end. I hope for all our sakes that they're right, that they know what they're doing…and that I haven't just destroyed two lives for no reason." She rose and departed that place, swearing never to return to that mountain again.

Gary and his remaining Pokémon spent the rest of the day, and most of the next several, frantically searching the mountain from top to bottom in search of their missing teammate. But no matter how hard they tried, no matter where they looked and who they interrogated; they could find neither hide nor hair of their dear Gardevoir. Eventually, they had no choice but to give up and move on, shedding countless tears as they mourned the loss of their beloved friend and partner.

It was only then, at the very end, that Gary realized what had been staring at him in the face all along, what his Pokémon had been teasing him about and which Gardevoir had implied on more than one occasion. At some point, despite his best efforts, he'd fallen in love with Gardevoir just as much as the rest of his team had. And now she would never know that her feelings for him had not been quite so one-sided…

Gary continued his travels and his research for a while after that, but his heart wasn't in it anymore. It was with another, whom had given up everything for him, and he would never see again…

At least, not for another thousand years, and by then, so much had changed that the two of them barely remembered each other. Then again, a group of meddling time-travelers might have had something to do with that…

…

"And that," the spirit said, returning Gary back to the present. "Is the truth."

Gary blinked and realized he had been crying. "That…that's not…that's not what I remember happening…" he whispered.

"And yet it is what really took place all those years ago. You know this now, don't you?" the spirit asked.

Gary nodded slowly, stunned by the full immensity of what he had just witnessed, of the implications this meant for…well, everything. "Yes. I remember now. Not the bits with those Pokémon who were directing Krysta, but everything else…everything else I remember. I can't…I can't believe I could have forgotten something like this…"

"Team Quantum—a group of time-travelers that included those two Pokémon you saw-rewrote your memories upon your rebirth so that they would fit the story they had spread about you and Gardevoir, and so that your personality would change as well, becoming a bully and a trickster to oppose the Chosen One, Ash, forcing him to better himself and become the hero he is destined to be. The false prophecy, as well as your interference, gave him adversity, something to struggle against and prove himself as a true hero to himself and to all of Pokémon Square," the spirit explained. "And in doing so, bring him one step closer to accomplishing Team Quantum's goals…"

"Then…then that means…" Gary whispered. "My entire life, er, unlife, is…a lie…"

"Indeed," the spirit said sadly. "And even now that you have broken Gardevoir's curse and fulfilled the false prophecy, you have not yet finished your role in Team Quantum's twisted machinations. Is it not odd that the prophecy in Chroma Ruins foretelling your arrival explicitly and in great detail predicted the coming of you and your team? Was it not convenient that the Mirage Kingdom's request for assistance would arrive at Team Aurabolt's base _after_ they had departed for Sinnorre? All of it was arranged in advance by Team Quantum. Thousands of years before you were born, they set plans in motion for you, plans that would shape your path in life and eventually lead you to this time and this place, on the eve of the greatest disaster the world has ever known. They set plans in motion so that you would revive Lemewria, and help bring their final objective that much closer to realization."

"But…but I don't understand!" Gary cried. "Why? Why are they doing this? Why have they done this to me, and Ash, and Gardevoir, and…and Arceus knows how many other people? Just how much of history have they appropriated for their own means, and to what end?"

"That is a truth I do not think you need to hear," the spirit said solemnly. "As to their reasons…their intentions are in the right place, but their methods…not so much."

Gary frowned. "In the right place? What can possibly be well-intentioned about what they've done to me, Gardevoir, and apparently the rest of the world?"

"They're time-travelers, Gary. They come from the future…a very distant future, where all timelines have converged, Arceus's grand plan has almost reached its culmination, and all evil and suffering have been eradicated from the Omniverse. You could even say that it's the perfect, and only _true_ future," the spirit said. "Or at least, Team Quantum believes that it is, and intends to keep it that way."

Gary frowned. "Well, I guess that makes sense…what does that have to do with what they're doing in our time, though?"

"Their future came into existence through a series of complex and intertwined events going back to before this planet existed that will reach their climax in a matter of days," the spirit explained. "Although the series of events are well-known in the future, Team Quantum, who are part of a group dedicated to policing the temporal axis of reality, became concerned that the events were so intricately connected and relied on so many coincidences and moments of pure luck that they could not possibly have happened entirely by chance. Their investigation of those events led them to conclude, for whatever reason, that _they_ were responsible for shaping history so that their present could exist, so went renegade and traveled back to our epoch to make sure that everything happened just the way it was supposed to so that their future would come to be."

"…I see," Gary murmured, rather disturbed by this concept. Did that mean free will had no role after all? That every decision or action a Pokémon took was, in some way, guided by the invisible hand of a bunch of rogue time police? "Are they right? Will their future only exist due to their actions in our time?"

"…That is difficult to say," the spirit said.

Gary frowned. "What do you mean, 'difficult?' You're a magic truth-telling mirror. Shouldn't you _know?_"

"The truth is a very complicated thing sometimes," the spirit said. "The future Team Quantum comes from results from the convergence of all timelines and worlds. Arceus intended for that to happen when He created the Omniverse, therefore the world they live in exists because He desired it so and planned it that way. That also means, however, that to a large extent all the events that resulted in that future—the events in which you are currently participating, and have already been a part of—were preordained in advance. As such, it's possible that everything would have happened the way it was supposed to if Team Quantum had just left well enough alone, or at least in a similar enough fashion to get the same result. On the other hand, it's just as possible that Arceus intended for Team Quantum to come to the conclusion they did regarding the nature of their past and travel back to our time to make the events leading up to the birth of their future happen correctly. Since He is omnipotent, omniscient, and completely inscrutable to the likes of lesser beings such as you or I, it could very well be that Team Quantum really _are_ following Arceus's will, rather than just believing they are." He shrugged. "Then again, since Arceus's will is absolute, that technically means _all of us_ are following it, even when we don't think we are, or are behaving in a manner contrary to the sort of thing He asks from His followers. I am a Mirror of Truth, but there are some truths so vast and incredible that not even I can comprehend them."

"…Huh. Yeah, that is kinda confusing," Gary said. "So, what, you're saying that even if Team Quantum hadn't screwed up our lives, this all would have happened anyway?"

"Not necessarily," the spirit said.

Gary frowned in confusion. "Huh? But you just said-"

"I said that events would have happened in a _similar enough fashion_ to get the same result. Time is a lot more flexible than most people think. While its true separate timelines branch off in most universes as a result of someone making a separate decision, most of those decisions are so inconsequential that they lead to the same future happening anyway, causing those timelines to collapse into each other," the spirit said. "Our own universe isn't quite like that, though. It's time-locked, meaning that when something happens here, it _doesn't_ cause a new timeline to split off."

Gary frowned. "Time-locked? Why?"

"Remember what I said about timelines branching?" the spirit said. "While most of the time nothing comes of it, occasionally it can create two or more extremely different realities. Let's say you have a major battle between a group of heroes and an incredibly powerful evil. In one universe, the heroes defeated that evil and saved the world. In another, the heroes failed, and that evil destroyed the world. That sort of thing is bad overall for the Omniverse, though, which is why the Guardians have a division known as the Temporal Knights—which, incidentally, Team Quantum were part of before they went renegade—whose task it is to delete timelines where too many bad things occur before they threaten to bleed into and damage other universes."

"Delete an entire timeline? That…uh, doesn't sound pleasant," Gary said anxiously.

"It's not as bad as you think it is. The 'core' timeline the corrupted branch sprouted from remains intact, and the souls of everyone who gets caught up in the deleted timeline automatically reintegrate with their alternate selves, or get reincarnated elsewhere," the spirit assured Gary.

"Oh," Gary said, struggling to follow all this. "But…if our universe is time-locked, does that mean that's not the case here?"

The spirit nodded. "Correct. There are certain incredibly powerful and dangerous…things within this universe which cannot be allowed to leave it, and deleting the timeline would release those things upon the Omniverse and cause great havoc and destruction. If they were to get free, it would be very difficult to recapture and/or neutralize them. Therefore, this universe is sealed within a single timeline so that if any of those things were to awaken, caused trouble, and were defeated, then no divergent timelines where they managed to succeed would come into existence and threaten the Omniverse."

"But what happens if they manage to succeed within our single timeline and the good guys can't stop them?" Gary asked.

"Then they'll still be stuck within this single timeline and will be unable to escape into the Omniverse at large," the spirit said. "That's the idea, anyway. Unfortunately, the coming disaster threatens to be one so large that it _can't_ be contained within a single timeline or universe, which is why it's so important that it must be handled properly lest it result in the annihilation of all of reality."

Gary blinked as he considered this for a moment. "Wait…then, if I understand you correctly, are you saying that our choices really _do_ matter in the end, if they can have such a large impact on not just our own universe, but maybe even others?"

"Yes and no. It would take me centuries to explain trans-temporal physics to the point that you could understand what I'm talking about," the spirit said. "So I'll do my best to put it in laymon's terms. There are certain events in our timeline that are set in stone, but pretty much everything in between is much looser and can go any number of ways, except that all of them will eventually lead to those unavoidable events. The disaster that is going to happen shortly is one such unavoidable event. Team Quantum's future is another. However, as protectors of the space-time continuum they are aware that sometimes even something that should be an absolute surety doesn't always work out the way it's supposed to, and they began to worry that the same thing could happen to their time if they didn't make sure events happened exactly the right way. As a result, they have meddled in the lives of countless beings to make sure history happens the way they think it's supposed to go, when in reality if they had just been a bit more subtle and nudged here and there rather than shoved—like when you got pushed into touching Krysta's tail—they would have gotten about the same result, and caused much less suffering and anguish in the process."

"So they _are_ doing something bad?" Gary asked, having difficulty keeping up with all this talk about timelines and potential futures.

"Probably. Then again, I could be wrong," the spirit confessed. "As I said, I'm not privy to the biggest truths. It's possible my understanding of the way time works in our universe and in others could be flawed or completely incorrect, and what Team Quantum is doing really _is_ necessary for the survival of all reality. However, it's also just as possible that their well-intentioned tampering will only make things worse, which would not only result in _their_ future disappearing…but all others as well. I'm leaning more towards the latter option myself, but it's up to you to decide what you believe."

"Since they condemned Gardevoir to a thousand years of loneliness and pain, broke my heart, brainwashed me and turned me into a bad guy, I'm leaning more towards the latter option too," Gary said angrily. "If they hadn't come back in time, what would have happened between Gardevoir and I?"

"Any number of things," the spirit said. "You could have run into Krysta or some other Ninetales and touched a tail either by accident or as a prank. Either Gardevoir or you could have been cursed. Or you could never have run into a Ninetales at all and continued on your way together, either falling in love or not, inevitably dying when the world ended and getting reborn a thousand years later. No matter what, however, you would both have eventually come to Pokémon Square, Gardevoir would have been abducted by the Nihilators, and you would have embarked on your journey to save Princess Sara. That was your destiny. Team Quantum just chose to make absolutely certain it happened the way it did, however, because they didn't want to leave anything to chance."

"And in doing so, ruined both of our lives…" Gary said darkly. "Both then and now."

"So it would seem, yes," the spirit said.

Gary clenched his fists angrily. "And I'm guessing that when Gardevoir's curse was broken, they did something else to her other than erasing whatever memories she had left, so that she wouldn't be in love with me anymore, or anyone else?"

The spirit nodded. "They 'switched off' the part of her that felt…attraction to other Pokémon because they feared that if she had any mates, they would either have interfered when the Nihilators captured her or made sure she didn't risk leaving Pokémon Square for the dangers of Treasure Town. I am doubtful it would have made much of a difference in the long run, but as I said, they didn't want to leave anything to chance."

Roaring furiously, Gary punched the nearest mirror, causing it to shatter into a million pieces, each of them reflecting the look of rage on his face. "Those BASTARDS!" he yelled, smashing another mirror. "We were in love with each other, even if I didn't want to admit it at the time! We were happy together! And we could've been happy then, and now, if they hadn't RUINED EVERYTHING!"

The spirit watched silently as Gary continued breaking mirrors to vent his fury. There were an infinite number of mirrors, however, so it didn't really make much of a difference, but at least it gave him something to hit. "You do realize that some psychologists would say that by attacking your reflection, you're expressing self-loathing, right?" the spirit called.

"Maybe I am!" Gary shouted angrily as he broke another mirror. "It's no different from how I've been feeling for the last few months, despising myself for being such a coward and a bully…except now I find out that it's not true, and it's all just a ruse those bastards cobbled together to make me act the way they wanted!"

"If you know the truth, then why are you still angry at yourself?" the spirit asked.

"For not figuring it out sooner…and…" Gary sagged, slumping against the next mirror rather than destroying it. "For not admitting my feelings to Gardevoir sooner, both then and now…if what you say is true-"

"Which it is," the spirit said.

"Then it wouldn't have made much of a difference in the long run, but it would've mattered to me," Gary said miserably.

"If it is any consolation, you may get the chance to soon," the spirit said. "Thanks to her recent transformation, her old instincts are starting to reawaken, meaning she might be willing to choose you as a mate, though you would probably have to share her with several others."

"I'll share her with as many guys—and girls—she wants, so long as I can be with her!" Gary swore. He paused. "Wait, what was that about a transformation?"

"That's right, you are unaware of recent events, aren't you?" the spirit said. "You have no idea what's been going on back at Pokémon Square, or with Ash and Pikachu, do you?"

"Uh, no," Gary admitted Mareepishly. "We kind of left in a hurry, and we haven't really had time to check in on everyone back home to see what's going on…though I thought I heard something on the news about them teaming up with the Draconian Empire and blowing up Mt. Blaze or something?"

"Something like that. Since you're here, I suppose I might as well fill you in on what's going on…" the spirit said.

And so it was that for the next several hours Gary was told just about everything that had occurred in the last fifty-four and a half chapters of story, with the spirit using the mirrors around them to display images of what had happened that Gary said were better than any hi-def television he'd ever seen. The spirit told Gary of the challenges and adventures Team Aurabolt had faced, of the friends and enemies they'd made, and of Ash's continuing struggle with the darkness inside himself. (He also told Gary that Ash wasn't from another world after all, which was something Gary had started to suspect for a while now anyway, since he had been vaguely certain he'd known an Ash back when he was alive that was a lot like the Lucario. Now that the spirit of the mirror had restored Gary's stolen memories—including, unfortunately, the grisly way he'd died—a lot of things about his past were a lot clearer than they had once been, and it was even more starkly presented to him just how much Team Quantum had screwed him up to make him the antagonist they'd desired. Yes, he and Ash had butted heads a lot back in the day, but he'd never been out-and-out _evil._ Just another thing to hate the time travelers for…) He told Gary of Aaron's return to Pokémon Square, of the town's alliance with Rayquaza and the mighty Draconian Empire, of how Latias had been partially transformed into the Guardian of Light and aided the heroes of Kanjohenn in vanquishing the tyrant Gal and his barbarian horde, and later performing the wedding taking place on that very day.

He also told Gary about Krysta's imprisonment on top of Mt. Freeze, something the former human relished. "So she got cursed too, huh? Serves the bitch right."

"You are aware that she only did what she did because Quantum convinced her it was necessary, aren't you? And that it was something she has regretted doing for the last thousand years?" the spirit pointed out.

"Didn't stop her from doing it in the first place, and in perpetuating the lie," Gary said sullenly. "Besides, Team Quantum's doing what they think is necessary and I sure as Abyss am not going to forgive them, so why should I forgive her, too?"

"Gary, it's not exactly like she could have told the truth after it was too late. She would have died," the spirit said.

"She was supposed to die a thousand years ago. Everything she's put Gardevoir and me through was because she was too scared to die," Gary said angrily. "All this just to extend her overlong life a little. She and I are going to have a serious talk when this is all over."

"Even immortals fear their demise," the spirit said. "Are you so certain that you would not make a devil's bargain to save yourself if you were certain the end was near?"

"…I dunno," Gary admitted. "I'd like to think I wouldn't. I might have once, but now…I'm not so sure."

"The prospect of death can cause many Pokémon to do things they otherwise would not, out of fear and desperation. Not even the strongest are comfortable when faced with their mortality," the spirit said.

Gary grimaced. "Maybe so…but I'm still not going to forgive her. Not after everything she's done."

The spirit shrugged. "It is your decision to make."

"Speaking of Gardevoir…you haven't told me how she is," Gary said anxiously. "Is she all right? Have they hurt her?"

The spirit winced. "Well…"

He told Gary of what had happened to Gardevoir since her capture by the Nihilators. Of how the cruel Oblivion's Shadow had blackmailed her into good behavior by threatening the lives of dozens of innocent children, of how she'd been painfully transformed into a vampire by Darkrai in an attempt to keep her from being used as a vessel for the Ruler of Evil, and how she had managed to begin forming a clan of her own beneath her captor's noses…all the while being experimented on by the Shadow. Gary was even angrier at Team Quantum when he heard this. "Was _this_ all part of their plan, too?" he snapped.

"I believe so. Having Gardevoir captured and joining the underground rebellion in the Nihilator base will help Team Aurabolt and their allies bring the Nihilators down once and for all when the final battle approaches," the spirit said. "Being a vampire will help her to do that. It may actually make things easier for the heroes in another way, though."

"Huh? Really? How?" Gary asked in surprise.

"Gardevoir was the perfect vessel for the Ruler of Evil's spirit. Her vampirization has rendered her body forever closed to that being," the spirit explained. "By forcing Oblivion's Shadow to rely on a different vessel, when he manages to revive the Ruler of Evil it will be much weaker, and they will have a better chance of defeating it."

"_When_ he manages to revive the Ruler of Evil?" Gary cried. "Don't you mean _if?_"

The spirit sighed. "Gary, we both know that just about any time a villain tries to release, resurrect, or awaken an ancient evil they _always_ succeed despite the best efforts of the heroes. The heroes usually manage to prevail in the end, granted, but the evil's return is almost always a sure thing."

Gary grimaced. "Oh yeah. Good point…but that means Ash and the others will still win, right? Eventually?"

"They should," the spirit said. "Assuming Team Quantum's machinations haven't screwed it up..."

"Woo boy. Not feeling a lot of confidence here," Gary said unhappily. He shook his head in frustration. "Damn! It sounds like there's a ton going on out there that I wasn't even aware of! And I thought the adventure _I've_ had so far was tough, but that's nothing compared to what Ash's team has been through! The poor guy…at least I found out I was _better_ than I thought I was in my past life, but him? It's worse than either of us could ever have imagined…"

"It is something Ash must come to terms with on his own," the mirror said. "He must face the truth about himself and what happened back then. If he cannot, the darkness will destroy him, and everything he loves."

"Gee, sounds like he could use a session with you," Gary said half-jokingly.

"Sadly, I do not believe that will happen anytime soon. However, I am not the only one of my kind. There is a chance Ash will find one of my other facets somewhere in the world…but even if he does, there is no guarantee he will accept the truth, because the secret his heart harbors is far, _far_ worse than the one in yours," the spirit said.

Gary shuddered. "Yeah, I'll bet…isn't there anything I can do to help him out? Or everyone back home? Or Gardevoir? Or even those shamans who are trying to do something about that nutty gaming nerd?"

The spirit shook his head. "I'm afraid not. The problem of getting to any of them aside, those matters are for others to handle. Your place is here, on Almiore."

"Yeah, because Team Quantum arranged for me to get sent here," Gary said bitterly.

"Even had they not meddled, I'm fairly certain you would have come here anyway," the spirit said. "Remember, some things are simply meant to be, they just differ in how we get to them. One way or another, you would have traveled to Almiore and taken up the quest to rescue Princess Sara…and in so doing, without even knowing it, you have involved yourself in the much greater conflict gripping the whole world."

Gary blinked. "Huh? What do you mean?"

"Just as the Nihilators are at least partly responsible for what is happening back in Kanjohenn, so to do they have a claw in events here in Almiore," the spirit said. "They are mustering their forces to launch a powerful assault on the Berry Kingdom, an assault that you will be crucial in repelling."

"Who, me? Seriously?" Gary asked incredulously. "Are you sure you've got the right guy? I mean, my track record on this continent's been sort of…lousy, so far."

"I will admit, you are not the ideal pick for a hero," the spirit said. "However, you have in you the makings of one. You already know now that you were not as bad as you thought you were. While you have made many mistakes and caused a great deal of pain since your reincarnation, you are aware of it and are striving to repent for it, just as Ash is struggling to master his own demons. Just as he will come to terms with his darkness and become a greater Pokémon, so to will you overcome your flaws and prove yourself to be the hero this land will need in its darkest hour."

"You…you really think so?" Gary asked in astonishment.

"Of course. I am a Mirror of Truth. It is impossible for me to lie," the spirit said. "This is your destiny, Gary. You will find Princess Sara. You will save both the Berry and Mirage Kingdoms. You will revive Lemewria. And in doing so, you will help, if only in a small way, to defeat the Ruler of Evil and save all worlds from being destroyed by that entity's return, for by fighting these battles you will take some of the pressure off those who will be fighting the Ruler and its minions directly, possibly giving them the advantage they need to win the day and save the Omniverse."

"That's…I…" Gary trembled, struggling to keep from crying. Again. "Th-thank you. Thank you for believing in me. I mean, the others said they did, but they're my teammates so they kinda have to, but to hear it from you…that's just…thanks."

The spirit shrugged. "As I have said, I can only tell the truth. Sometimes it hurts. Sometimes it heals. I am glad that in this instance it is the latter."

Gary laughed Mareepishly. "Huh. You know, you're not as bad as I was expecting, what with all that build-up."

"I am the truth, or a reflection of it," the spirit said. "I am neither good nor evil. I only show what is. It is up to the person who stands before me whether or not they break when confronted with the truth about their inner nature."

"Then since I'm still sane, I guess that says a couple of good things about me, doesn't it?" Gary asked cheerfully.

"I should think so, yes," the spirit said.

Gary frowned, something the spirit had said a few moments ago suddenly catching his attention. "Hold on…did you say I'm going to save the Berry Kingdom? But I thought they were the bad guys! They kidnapped Princess Sara!"

"They had a reason for it, as you and your friends have already surmised," the spirit said.

"And that reason is…?" Gary asked.

"…I am sorry, but I am not permitted to tell you," the spirit said apologetically.

"What! Why not?" Gary demanded.

"I am…bound by certain restrictions," the spirit said. "There are limits to which truths I am allowed to impart to seekers like you. I may have already told you more than I should have, in fact. While there are many things I can speak of to you, more precise details on your future and on the meaning behind certain aspects of your quest are off-limits."

Gary slumped. "Figures," he grumbled. "After that very specific and helpful prophecy and all the perfectly understandable and not at all vague information you've told me, I guess it was inevitable that you'd have to be all cryptic and enigmatic sooner or later."

"I _am_ sorry, Gary, but I have no choice in the matter," the spirit apologized. "These rules are imposed on me by forces greater than you can imagine, and I don't just mean Team Quantum, either. I know there is much about your current journey you wish to know, but there isn't much more I can tell you that will shed light on what's really going on."

"Well, is there anything you _can_ tell me? A hint about what I should watch out for and need to do next?" Gary implored.

The spirit considered for a moment. "…There are a _few_ things I could tell you," he said slowly. "I am not certain how useful they will be, but it may still come in handy."

"Better than nothing," Gary said in relief. "Let's hear it."

"The Berry King and his followers can be trusted. The Mirage King, on the other hand, cannot," the spirit said.

Gary blinked. "Huh? But he's the guy who brought us into this in the first place!"

"Even so, you must not trust him under any circumstances," the spirit said sternly.

"Hmm…don't know what Maren and Janine are gonna say about that, but okay," Gary said. "Anything else?"

The spirit nodded. "In the near future you will be reunited with your missing comrades Nando and Hissssa…however, you shall also encounter Team Perdition again, who have become stronger than ever and still seek your destruction."

Gary groaned. "Great…figures that they survived too…"

"There is still a chance that you can redeem them, but that is something I cannot help you with," the spirit said. "All I can say is that the method of their salvation may be closer than you think."

Gary grunted. "Well, that's unhelpfully vague, but all right. Anything else?"

"Do not give up hope, even when all else seems lost. Continue fighting even if it seems impossible. Trust in your friends and in yourself. And remember that Callista is a Lemewrian princess, it'll come in handy," the spirit said.

"That was all typical fortune-cookie fare except for the last one," Gary complained.

The spirit shrugged. "It's all I have, sorry."

"I guess it'll have to do, then," Gary said grudgingly.

"Ah, and one other thing," the spirit said, reaching into a pocket. "I believe this belongs to you." He held out an unremarkable glass fragment.

"Hey, the Compass—er, Royal Seal piece!" Gary said, elated. "I'd almost forgotten about that thing!"

"It is yours by right," the spirit said, handing it over. "When it was entrusted into my care years ago, I was told to give it to you and no other. Many have tried over the centuries to wrest it from me, but none have succeeded, for they were not you, the one Pokémon fated to claim it. For countless ages I have waited for you to come…and now that you are here, I may give it to you, my duty fulfilled. Take good care of it."

"I intend to," Gary said, closing his hand around the fragment and being careful not to cut his palms on the edges. "Thank you so much for this…and for everything else you've shown me. I'm still somewhat annoyed that you can't give me any other useful information on what I'm going to have to do in the future, but…you've given me clarity and understanding, and helped me find a measure of peace I might never have gotten otherwise. For that, I owe you big time."

"I was only doing what I was meant to do," the spirit said humbly. "Nothing more, nothing less."

"Even so, you've flipped my whole life around…hopefully for the better!" Gary said. "I just wish there were something I could do to repay you for helping me so much and telling me all these things that have been hidden from me…"

"There is nothing I desire, and even if there were, I doubt there was anything you could do to get it for me," the spirit said apologetically. "However, there is one thing I would ask of you."

"Yeah? What?" Gary asked.

"Win," the spirit said. "The Berry Kingdom possesses something that the Nihilators desire very much, hence why they will soon launch a massive attack on it. It isn't necessary for their master plan, but if they get it, it will make things a lot harder for your friends and the people of your hometown. They will probably still prevail over the forces of evil even if you fail in your quest, but if you manage to stop the Nihilators you will make things a _lot_ easier for your colleagues. Maybe even enough to allow them to defeat the Ruler of Evil. Maybe not. Regardless, it is still an important task, and one I suggest you do your best to accomplish, because even if, in the long run, it doesn't have much of an effect on the final battle, it could spell the difference between life and death for thousands of Pokémon, and is therefore not to be taken lightly. Do you understand?"

"Don't screw up. Got it," Gary said. "That's a bit of a tall order for my bunch, but…well, I'll give it my best shot."

"That is all I can ask of you," the spirit said. He took Gary's arm and guided him over to a mirror, which shimmered and revealed the chamber deep within the Chroma Ruins where Gary had entered this strange realm. He could see his teammates lounging around or pacing anxiously, waiting for him. "Our time together has drawn to a close. Now you must rejoin your friends and fulfill your destiny."

Gary nodded. "Yeah…boy, do I have a ton to tell them! It feels like I've been in here for months! They must be worried sick about me!"

"It's actually been more like several hours, but yes, it has been a long time," the spirit agreed. "They have waited here faithfully for your return. Go to them, Gary. Help them to transform as you have, and become the heroes you were meant to be. A _true_ Rescue Team, rather than a group of misfits struggling to live up to that title."

"I will," Gary promised. "You can count on me!"

"Good," the spirit said. "Oh, and one more thing. There's one final truth I believe I should impart to you before we go our separate ways."

"Yeah? What?" Gary asked.

"Mary's in love with you," the spirit said, a mischievous grin on his face.

"Oh, okay," Gary said. He paused. "Wait, _what-"_

The spirit shoved Gary forward. He slammed into the glass, causing it to shatter. His last thoughts before his vision was engulfed by a blinding whiteness were, _I hope I don't get seven hundred years of bad luck from all the mirrors I've broken in this place…_

_And did he say Mary was in love with me? What the FUCK?_

…

Meanwhile, in Sinnorre…

The skies above the Lost Wilderness were usually quiet and peaceful, since not many flying Pokémon or airships or other airborne travelers passed over the area, and those that did usually kept to themselves and were more focused on heading wherever it was they were going than on having a conversation. The flyers gracing the skies this day, however, were not only conversing, but arguing. Very loudly.

"You don't understand," Michael said to Mondo, who was currently in the form of a Salamence big enough for him, Gardenia, and Wabbaku to ride on. "You _have _to marry her. There's no question about it!"

"Good, because I'm not asking any questions. I'm saying flat-out no! I am not marrying that fat reptile!" Mondo snarled.

"If you didn't want to marry her, then why did you sleep with her?" Michael asked. "And she is not fat; she's just big-shelled!"

"Yeah, that's what they all say," Mondo sneered. "And nobody told me at the time that apparently, for some stupid reason, in your village it's custom to sleep with someone only if you're going to marry them! I mean, the heck's up with that? It's totally unfair to swingers and bachelors looking for a good time like myself, guys who aren't interested in settling down just yet…if ever!"

"Witnesses said you were looking to conceive your firstborn," Michael said. "Usually the only reason you'd be doing that is if you were looking for a mate, so Agora took your offer at face value. She's been looking for a husband to start a family with for a long time, and when she heard about you, she decided that you could help her do that."

"But I…I mean…that was just a pickup line, mon!" Mondo groaned. "I didn't _mean_ it! I'm not ready to be a father!"

"Then you shouldn't have said that," Wabbaku said. "That sort of thing can be taken the wrong way…and in this case, it was. One must always be careful with what they say when dealing with other cultures. It can lead to most unpleasant—and occasionally fatal—misunderstandings." Gardenia made a note to watch what she said when she moved into Wabbaku's village, to avoid any similar faux pas. In fact, she should probably talk to him at some point to find out what sorts of behavior was to be expected of her now that they were going to be married…

"Oh, now you tell me," Mondo grumbled.

"Actually, I told you on the way to Michael's village to be careful about what you said or did because they might misconstrue its meaning. Several times," Wabbaku said sternly. "Clearly you didn't listen."

"Yeah, yeah, rub it in," the shapeshifted Ditto growled.

"Oh, we have every intention of doing so," Wabbaku said. The fake Salamence growled.

"Regardless of whether it was an accident or not, now that you and Agora have mated with each other, you have to marry her. It's tribal law," Michael said.

"So what? I'm not part of your tribe!" Mondo pointed out.

"Perhaps not, but we gave you our hospitality. We fed you, entertained you, gave you a place to spend the night, and even someone to share your bed with," Michael countered. "Therefore, if you did something to one of our own while in our care, it's your responsibility to obey our laws and deal with the consequences. Which, in this case, means marrying Agora and helping her to raise the children you have conceived."

"You can't make me!" Mondo said. "I'll just Transform and fly far, far away, where you'll never find me and can't force me to pay alimony!"

"Ali-what?" asked the puzzled Michael. "Is that some new form of Totodile or Sandile?"

"Er, no, it's…never mind, it's not important," Gardenia said.

"If you don't take responsibility for your actions and marry Agora, then she will become an outcast," Michael said. "Now that you have given her your seed, no mon will touch her. She and her child will be shunned and forced to either live on the outskirts of the village, or leave forever."

"What? That's horrendously unfair! And completely sexist!" Gardenia cried in alarm.

"It is?" Michael asked, looking confused.

"Remember, different cultures," Wabbaku murmured to Gardenia before she could say anything else. "Just because it seems wrong to you doesn't mean they see it the same way. Trying to force your own perceptions and meanings of right and wrong on a group of Pokémon who were raised in a completely different environment and level of civilization isn't exactly fair, either."

"But isn't that what Michael's trying to do to Mondo?" Gardenia pointed out. "By trying to make him obey the laws of a culture he's not part of?"

"Not quite. Remember that Mondo started all this while under the care of Michael's tribe," Wabbaku said. "Since he accepted their hospitality, that means he has to follow their rules and take responsibility for any actions he took while he was in their midst. If I were tried for a crime in Pokémon Square or another big city, _I_ would not claim that their laws didn't apply to me since I was not from there, or that I should be pardoned because I didn't know the law existed. Is it fair for Mondo to make such a claim on the same grounds in this instance?"

"Good point," Gardenia said. "However, you're more honorable than Mondo."

Wabbaku blushed. "Yes, well…"

"I don't care," Mondo said. "So what if she gets kicked out of the village? No protoplasm off my nose…not that I have a nose. Well, I do now, but not in my true form."

"She'll be kicked out because you abandoned her, and your child will be forced to live as an outcast without a father!" Michael said angrily.

"Hey, that's the fault of your messed-up tribe for having stupid and sexist rules like that which ostracize people who didn't actually do anything wrong," Mondo argued. "It's the system that's the problem, not me, since it's punishing that fatass and my future offspring for something that I did and offers no incentive for me to take care of them other than an attempt to make me feel guilty and responsible for them, which won't work since I'm a career criminal and more interested in money and self-gratification than taking any blame for my actions. Maybe you should look into fixing that, O great and powerful 'Protector?' And while you're at it, maybe you could make it so that it's okay for people to have sex whenever they want and not have to worry about getting saddled with some brats and a whiny spouse because somebody forgot to use protection? I'm sure all the young mons of your village will thank you for that…maybe even some of the ones who were forced into a marriage they weren't ready for, too. They'll probably praise you for that even more than they did for leading them to Treeshroud Forest!"

Michael was trembling with rage, the crystal on his forehead beginning to glow ominously. "You…how _dare_ you speak so glibly of the ways of my people?"

"I'll speak any way I want to, last time I checked, _I'm_ the guy who's carrying you all, meaning I can get away with pretty much anything. Unless you want to get dropped, that is?" Mondo asked.

"You…" Michael snarled.

"Wabbaku, do something!" Gardenia hissed.

Wabbaku blinked. "What? Why?"

"Because I think Michael's only a few seconds away from snapping and attacking Mondo, which would mean we'll all fall to our deaths!" Gardenia said.

"Actually, both Michael and myself could call upon the wind spirits to carry us all to safety, but that'll still leave us with some ways to go before we reach Aegis Cave, and I doubt Mondo will be very much inclined to carry us there after an incident like that, so you're probably right," Wabbaku mused. "Hmm…but what _can_ I do?"

"Do your ancestral spirit friends have any ideas?" Gardenia asked.

A lightbulb went off in Wabbaku's head. "Aha! The spirits of my ancestors! Of course! Excellent work, Gardenia, that's just what we need!"

"Um, thanks?" Gardenia said in confusion, not sure what she'd just done.

Wabbaku placed a flipper on the trembling Michael's shoulder. "Calm yourself, my friend. I have an idea on how we can resolve this little problem."

Michael blinked and looked at the Wobbuffet in surprise, his anger dissipating. "Huh? You do? Well, I'm all for it, then. What do we do?"

"Just follow my lead," Wabbaku said. "Ahem. Mondo, I really do think you should reconsider your stance regarding your fiancé."

"Oh yeah? Why should I?" the Ditto asked.

"Well, because of the curse, of course," Wabbaku said.

Mondo hesitated. "…The curse? What curse?"

"Why, the curse of her ancestors, what else?" Wabbaku asked, feigning surprise. "I mean, you don't think their spirits will be happy that you knocked up and abandoned their descendant, will you? They'll want to come after you for retribution. They'll want to make you pay for the suffering you've caused Agora and her child."

Mondo swallowed. "They…they will?"

"Oh yes, and you will pay _dearly_," Wabbaku said. "Ancestral spirits are very protective of their kin, and can make life absolutely dreadful for those who harm their family. They can make your luck decline, your romantic prospects dwindle, your health fail, and your future, which once seemed so bright, dim significantly."

Mondo gulped, and then frowned, getting a suspicious look on his face. "Hey…you're trying to mess with me, aren't you? What, is that some kind of bluff?"

"Oh, it's no bluff. Surely you've seen enough by now to believe that spirits are real, and can exert great power on the living if channeled properly?" Wabbaku pointed out. "All the things I just described are fates that the spirits could easily visit on you for using and discarding their descendant like you have…and that's just on their own power! I _shudder_ to think what they could do to you if a powerful enough shaman sworn to protect and avenge people like Agora, such as, say, Michael here, were to use his powers to cause them to manifest and unleash their _full_ power and wrath on you!"

Michael immediately caught on. "Oh yeah, in fact, I'm actually somewhat tempted to do it now. I can hear them right now, howling for your blood…"

"R-really?" Mondo asked nervously. He started shaking. "Then, uh, I guess it's a good thing I don't have any blood…"

"Oh, they're not picky, they'll take pink slime instead, so long as it hurts you," Michael said cheerfully. "Of course, that's the _least_ of the things they could do to you."

"I-it is?" Mondo gulped.

"Oh, yes. Being on the other side has given them a _wonderful_ perspective about how many weaknesses and frailties we of the flesh have," Michael said. "They'll probably castrate you, just for starters."

"That won't work, I can regrow them," Mondo said.

"Then they'll just keep ripping them off over and over and over again while feasting on your flesh. And since that regenerates too, they could theoretically rip you to pieces and devour you bit by bit for, oh, I dunno…ever," Michael said.

Mondo's eyes bulged. "FOREVER?"

"Well, you're immortal, and they're deathless, so yeah, I could see them doing that," Michael said. "Don't worry though, I'm sure they'll get bored and leave you alone after a few dozen…centuries."

"…Eeeeep…" Mondo squeaked.

"Of course, that'll only be a minor respite, since Agora will have died by then and she and your child, whom you cruelly abandoned, will start torturing you next," Michael said. "And if you thought the spirits of the ancestors were angry, just wait'll you see how much rage she'll have when she catches up to you to make you pay for ruining her life."

"_Eeeeeep,_" Mondo squealed.

Michael's eyes rolled back in his head and he started moaning dramatically. "Oooohhhh…I can hear them wailing even now, demanding their vengeance. I don't know if I can deny them for long. I'm only mortal, after all."

"Y-you can't let them get me!" Mondo cried desperately.

"I may not have a choice in the matter. Their fury is so great they may be able to use my body as a conduit to this world without my permission," Michael said. His eyes span and abruptly started glowing green. "_**Oooohhhh…cowardly fleshling…you would dare to turn your back on one of our own? We shall greatly enjoy tearing you limb from limb! Ooooooohhhhh!**_" He opened his mouth wide and colored streams with enraged faces at their tips flew out and started swirling around Mondo's head, howling and gibbering.

"Aaaaahhh! Get away! Get away!" Mondo screamed, desperately clawing at the spirits and blasting them with his Hyper Beam. It had no effect, of course, since they were spirits. They certainly had an effect on him, though, as one passed right through his neck, causing him to gasp in pain and shiver as his body temperature lowered several degrees. "Aaaah…aaaaahhhh…g-go away! Leave me alone!"

"_**Never! We shall have our vengeance!"**_ Michael boomed in an otherworldly voice.

"Aiiiiieee! Wabbaku, save me!" Mondo shrieked as more spirits emerged from Michael's mouth and started tormenting him.

"What do you expect me to do?" Wabbaku asked, sounding honestly perplexed.

"Do your shaman mumbo jumbo stuff and make them go away!" Mondo begged.

"Oh, I cannot do that, my friend," Wabbaku said apologetically. "These are not spirits of nature or the wild or of my tribe. They are the spirits of Michael's people, and therefore are answerable only to him. If I were to try to command them, it could lead to a war between the spirits of our tribes, which would spill over into the physical world as well and cause much suffering and bloodshed for both our peoples. After all I have done for the Caretakers, and the bonds of friendship we forged with them last night, that is not something I will do, even for a…acquaintance. I am very sorry, Mondo, but the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one."

"But if they attack me, you'll all be knocked off!" Mondo said desperately.

"Oh, we'll be fine," Wabbaku assured him. "I can call upon the wind spirits to give us a gentle landing. You, on the other hand, will be horrendously assaulted by the spirits and will probably continue to be assaulted for some time. There is nothing anyone can do to stop it…except for you."

"M-me? What can I do? Tell me!" Mondo pleaded.

"Promise to marry Agora," Wabbaku said.

"What?" Mondo cried in disbelief.

"The spirits are angry at you because you intend to abandon her. If you claim her as your mate and promise to be a good husband and father, they will spare you," Wabbaku said.

"No! Never!" Mondo said defiantly. "I don't care what they do to me, I'm never going to marry that fatass! Nevernevernever!"

"_**Hey boys, I think I found his balls!"**_one of the spirits, now flying underneath Mondo, called to the others. _**"Who wants to chew 'em off?"**_

"_**We do! We do! We do!" **_the others chanted.

"OKAY! OKAY! I GIVE! I GIVE!" Mondo screamed, bursting into tears. "I'll marry Agora! I'll raise whatever horrible little thing she gives birth to! Just please, PLEASE, DON'T HURT MEEEEEEE!"

"_**Okay,"**_ the spirits said. They abruptly flew into Michael's mouth and vanished. The Leafeon belched, blinking as his eyes returned to normal. "Well, I'm glad that's settled," the shaman said cheerfully. "Welcome to the tribe, Mondo! We can properly marry you and Agora as soon as we get back to the village."

"Y-y-y-yay," Mondo whimpered, shivering in terror.

"Wow. Nice act," Gardenia murmured, impressed.  
Wabbaku gave her a confused look. "Act?"

"You know, the freaky voice and weird eyes and wailing spirits and promises of vengeance. That was all just an act, right?" Gardenia asked. There was no reply. "Right?" she asked again, looking pale.

"If it makes you happier to believe that, feel free to do so," Wabbaku said after a moment. Gardenia shivered but did not inquire further.

Nobody talked for a while after that. And by 'a while' I mean a few minutes, since soon after Mondo accepted the marriage proposal they reached Aegis Cave.

It was an otherwise unremarkable cave set in the side of an otherwise unremarkable hill in an otherwise unremarkable barren, rocky field full of hills. What _was_ remarkable about it, however, was the fact that the ground before the cave, an immense flat plain devoid of any vegetation or life, was covered in immense geoglyphs in the form of Unown, the eyes of the soil carvings staring at the four travelers with as piercing and unblinking a gaze as the mysterious interdimensional beings whose forms they resembled. "Eerie," Gardenia said with a shudder. "Does anyone else feel like they're staring at you?"

"They are," Wabbaku said. "They're judging us to see if we are worthy of entering the cave and accessing the knowledge within."

"Oh," Gardenia said, even more freaked out now.

Mondo, his fear of the unknown (no pun intended) strengthened by his recent brush with the supernatural, gulped nervously. "Then maybe we should, uh, land out of their way and you guys can walk the rest of the way? Because I kind of doubt they'd tolerate a guy like me coming anywhere near them…"

"Oh, don't worry, if they didn't tolerate you, they'd have shot you down already," Wabbaku said.

"…Ah," Mondo said, not particularly reassured.

"To be fair, their standards are somewhat…confusing," Michael said. "Nobody's really sure what sorts of qualities they're looking for in a supplicant. They seem to operate on a completely different logic and thought process than most Pokémon. That's probably due to them being pan-dimensional beings that transcend time and space."

"But they _will_ help us, right?" Gardenia asked anxiously.

"The spirits said so," Wabbaku said.

"Oh, okay then," Gardenia said, mollified.

Still keeping a wary eye on the soil carvings despite Wabbaku and Michael's reassurances, Mondo circled low to the ground and gently came to a landing, making sure not to land on top of any of the geoglyphs in the process. Once everyone had disembarked, he shifted back to his true form and looked around anxiously. "Pretty quiet here…then again, I doubt many Pokémon would exactly like to live around interdimensional beings. They'd probably make pretty lousy neighbors, what with their colors out of space and alien geometries and unArceusly horrors creeping through cracks in reality and loud music playing at all hours of the day and night."

"Actually, the Unown prefer a rather melodious harmony created by having crystals comprised of solidified wishes resonating to the music of the spheres," Wabbaku said.

Mondo blinked. "Spheres have music? What, is that some kinda weird CD variant where they come from, where you engrave music onto a ball, plug it into a machine, and it starts playing some far-out tunes that the likes of us couldn't listen to without going mad?"

Wabbaku sweatdropped. "No, I meant…oh, never mind."

"I'm guessing we go into the cave?" Gardenia asked.

"Since there's nothing else out here, I suppose so," Mondo said.

Michael nodded. "We have to. The spirit we're seeking is in the cave. It's waiting for us."

"Then let's not keep it waiting any longer," Wabbaku said.

Together, they approached the cave, skirting the edges of the geoglyphs so as not to tread on any of the lines. When asked what would happen if they disturbed any of the carvings, Wabbaku said, "You don't want to know."

"Actually, I think I would," Mondo said.

"Are you sure?" Wabbaku said.

"Yes," the Ditto said.

Wabbaku told him. Mondo frowned. "What, that's it?"

"What were you expecting?" Wabbaku asked.

"From all the buildup, I figured I'd be scattered across multiple dimensions, or fed to some monster from beyond time and space, or thrown into some horrible nightmare realm, or something like that," Mondo said.

Wabbaku smirked and shook his head. "You have a very active imagination."

They reached the mouth of the cave. The darkness inside was absolute, far darker than one would usually expect the interior of a cave to be given that the Sun was placed just right so that its light should shine into the entrance at an angle and illuminate it…but the light did not seem to touch it. It was as if there was a line of solid shadow drawn at the entrance of the cave, starkly separating the bright world outside and the dark chambers within. Gardenia stared at the darkness in trepidation, feeling as if she wasn't just staring into an absence of light…but into a whole other world, or at the very least the partition between her world and something else's. "Do…do we just go in?"

Mondo gulped. "I dunno…I-I don't like the looks of this…"

"It's just a cave," Michael said.

"Yeah, a cave occupied by creatures beyond mortal comprehension!" Mondo said.

"You're immortal," Wabbaku pointed out.

"Maybe so, but I'm still closer to guys like you than I am to them," Mondo said. "So I don't feel particularly safe on that count."

"You're worrying for no reason. The Unown will not harm us," Wabbaku said. He frowned. "Mewgle, on the other hand, should he catch up to us…"

"Mewgle? Didn't you say he's still a long ways away?" Gardenia asked in alarm.

"Yes, but he's picking up speed…and it will take some time for us to accomplish our task. If we don't hurry, there's a chance he'll reach us before we're done," Wabbaku said.

"And what happens if he does? Oh wait, I don't want to know, right?" Mondo asked.

"In this case, you really, _really_ don't," Wabbaku said. Recalling what he had seen the Leviathan do back in Hyperbeamorea, Mondo swallowed and conceded the point.

"So, if we're running out of time, let's do this already!" Gardenia said urgently.

Michael nodded. "All right. Wabbaku?"

"Very well, I shall do the honors." Wabbaku cleared his throat and addressed the cave. "Unown, ancient and eternal keepers of secret knowledge, we beg you to lend us your aid. A great evil has been unleashed upon the land, and one of the treasures that have been entrusted to your care stands a chance of defeating it. Will you open your storehouse to us and allow us to awaken what may be the only means of stopping this evil before it becomes strong enough to endanger worlds beyond our own?"

If he had spoken thus to a regular cave, there would have been echoes. But this wasn't a regular cave. The _otherness_ of the veil of darkness making up the cave mouth swallowed up the sound of Wabbaku's speech almost as soon as it had begun. They waited anxiously for a response. And waited. And waited. Finally, Mondo started to say, "Maybe you should try that again, they might not have heard you-" And suddenly found several hundred huge, round, white eyes staring at him from the blackness. "Ah. Never mind."

The group staggered backwards as the many-eyed darkness surged forwards, revealing itself to be a mass of hundreds if not thousands of Unown interlocked together. Before the congealed mass could slam into them, it split apart into its respective components, the letter-shaped cyclopean black forms swarming around them like an alphabetical black cyclone with lots of eyes, the air filled with a humming they could feel not just in their ears but in their bones and inside their _heads_ as the eyes dispassionately stared into their minds, stripping away every layer and barrier surrounding their consciousnesses and laying bare their very souls, leaving them to shiver naked before the unblinking, eternal _stare_ of the Unown. The pressure of all the eyes gazing at them and through them and _into_ them grew and grew and grew, until it felt like they were going to go mad…

And then, mercifully and without warning, it stopped. As the relieved Pokémon struggled to regain their grip on their sanities, they saw that the Unown were still swirling around them and staring at them, but it was more bearable somehow, the noiseless hum they made muted somewhat. In addition, they were no longer the only beings standing before the entrance to Aegis Cave…though they were still the only Pokémon (the Unown didn't count, they were hovering), since whatever the creature before them was, it was _definitely_ not a Pokémon. "Whatever that is, it's _definitely_ not a Pokémon," Gardenia said.

"Funny, I was expecting something with tentacles for some reason," Mondo said.

The new creature looked almost…human. It had a humanoid, clearly female body—with curves to match—but rather than being made of flesh and blood like most humans were supposed to have been before they died out, its form was made completely of light-blue liquid crystal. (It was also naked, but this didn't concern the Pokémon since they usually were naked anyway and had absolutely no attraction to human females at all, and it would have been that way even if humans hadn't been extinct for almost a thousand years.) It had glowing, pure white eyes, a surprisingly gentle glow, and through its semi-transparent skin they could see what looked like entire galaxies made of chains of microscopic Unown flowing throughout its body. GREETINGS, the creature said, or rather, it didn't say; a group of Unown broke from the cluster swarming around them and configured themselves over the crystal creature's head to resemble the word. I AM MIE, the creature continued as the Unown over its head broke apart and more came forward to take their place. THE SPEAKER FOR THE UNOWN. WELCOME TO AEGIS CAVE.

Wabbaku and Michael bowed. "We are honored to be in your presence, Speaker," Wabbaku said.

"Thank you for acknowledging our request," Michael said.

"Why is she called the 'Speaker' for the Unown if they're spelling themselves out over her head instead of her talking to us?" Gardenia asked.

THE UNOWN HAVE A HIVE MIND TRANSCENDING COUNTLESS UNIVERSES AND DIMENSIONS, AND AS SUCH HAVE DIFFICULTY COMMUNICATING WITH CORPOREAL BEINGS WHO CAN ONLY SEE TIME AS FLOWING ONE WAY, Mie explained before either shaman could answer. SO THEY OCCASIONALLY REQUIRE AN INTERMEDIARY WHO CAN TRANSLATE MORTAL QUESTIONS AND CONCERNS INTO A FORMAT THEY CAN UNDERSTAND, AND TO SUBMIT A REPLY MORTAL MINDS ARE CAPABLE OF COMPREHENDING. I AM THAT INTERMEDIARY.

"But then why aren't you talking? Why are they spelling themselves out like that?" Gardenia pressed.

I _AM_ TALKING, Mie replied. UNOWN DON'T SPEAK LIKE YOU DO. THEY DON'T EVEN _THINK_ LIKE YOU DO. I CAN, HOWEVER, SINCE ONCE UPON A TIME I WAS MORTAL, AND SO WHEN THEY SPEAK TO ME, I CAN ARRANGE THEM INTO PATTERNS CORPOREAL BEINGS CAN UNDERSTAND.

"Oh," Gardenia said.

"But then why don't you just talk to us like a regular person? You know, instead of playing Spelling Beedrill?" Mondo asked.

I'M NOT _THAT_ MUCH LIKE YOU. NOT ANYMORE. IF I TRIED TO SPEAK VERBALLY, OR EVEN TELEPATHICALLY TO YOU, YOUR BRAINS WOULD HEMHORRAGE AND KILL YOU IN THEIR FAILURE TO PROCESS MY SPEECH OR THOUGHT PATTERNS, Mie said.

Mondo blanched. "Ah. On second thought, I'm perfectly fine with Spelling Beedrills."

"This form of communication is fine," Wabbaku assured Mie.

"Speaker, we come to you for aid. As you are no doubt aware, the soul-devourer Leviathan has been unleashed by the demon Mewgle, and is rampaging unstopped across the planet, gobbling up every soul or spirit or ghost in its path," Michael said.

"There is only one Pokémon on Earth who can stand against them, but he is not yet ready to face them. With the power of the spirit you are guarding deep within Aegis Cave, however, he may yet have a chance of defeating them," Wabbaku said. "Will you allow us entry into your cave, so that we may awaken the spirit and save the world?"

The Unown swarmed agitatedly. ALTHOUGH THE LEVIATHAN POSES NO DIRECT THREAT TO THE UNOWN COLLECTIVE, WE ARE AWARE OF THE REPERCUSSIONS TO THE OMNIVERSE IF IT SHOULD BECOME TOO POWERFUL, _ESPECIALLY_ UNDER THE CONTROL OF A VILLAIN SUCH AS MEWGLE, WHO SEEKS TO USE THE LEVIATHAN TO HAVE HIS REVENGE ON HIS ETERNAL FOE AND RESHAPE TIME AND SPACE TO MAKE HIMSELF THE GAMEMASTER OF ALL REALITY, Mie said. SUCH A TRAVESTY MUST NOT BE ALLOWED TO TAKE PLACE. YOU MAY ENTER AEGIS CAVE.

The travelers sighed in relief. "Phew! That's that taken care of," Mondo said.

"I did not doubt that they would let us through, but still, I am glad we were able to gain entry so easily," Wabbaku said.

"What would we have done if they didn't acquiesce like that?" Gardenia asked anxiously.

"We probably would have been forced to give up one of our own to satisfy their arcane and unfathomable prices for knowledge," Michael said solemnly.

Gardenia's eyes widened in horror. "Oooohhh…"

"Why do I get the feeling you would have sacrificed me?" Mondo said unhappily.

"It might not have come to that," Wabbaku quickly assured him. "As I said, the price they demand for boons varies. They might have demanded something else of us instead…like a treasured memory, or some blood, or for us to put on a song and dance routine." Gardenia and Mondo stared at him. "What? Like Michael said, 'arcane and unfathomable.' Their thought processes work on a completely different level from our own. Who knows what something like that means to them? Not even the ancestors fully understand the Unown."

"Which kind of explains why they're called the 'Unown,'" Michael said.

"Ah," Mondo said. "Kind of obvious in retrospect, now that I think about it."

THE POWER YOU SEEK LIES WITHIN THE CAVE, Mie said as she glided to the side, the Unown behind her parting to allow passage to the cave's entrance. BUT BE WARNED. THE SPIRIT YOU WISH TO REVIVE IS NOT THE ONLY THING THAT WE HAVE COLLECTED OR BEEN ENTRUSTED WITH OVER THE EONS. MUCH OF WHAT YOU SEE WILL CONFUSE OR FRIGHTEN YOU. NO MATTER WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN, OR APPEARS TO HAPPEN, HOWEVER, YOU MUST NOT STRAY FROM YOUR PATH, OR TOUCH _ANYTHING_ OTHER THAN THE THING YOU HAVE COME HERE FOR.

"What happens if we do?" Gardenia asked.

YOU REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED IN THE CAVE OF WONDERS IN ALADDIN WHEN ABU TOUCHED THAT BIG JEWEL? Mie asked.

"Yes," Gardenia said.

"No," Wabbaku said.

"What's an Aladdin?" asked the confused Michael.

Mondo shook his head pityingly. "Mon, you wilderness-lovers don't know what you're missing…poor ignorant savages."

"I don't think the spirits would like you talking about your future wife's people like that," Michael said warningly.

Mondo turned pale. "Right. Shutting up."

IT'LL BE LIKE THAT, BUT WORSE. A _LOT_ WORSE, Mie said. SO DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING. UNDERSTOOD?

"Yes. Understood, Mondo?" Wabbaku asked.

Mondo frowned. "What're you singling out me for?"

"You're a criminal. I just wanted to make sure you didn't get tempted to grab something you believe you could make a profit off of and doom us all," Wabbaku said.

"Hey, even I know some things are too big to risk stealing," Mondo said. "Jessie, James, and Mickey, on the other hand…"

Wabbaku sighed. "Yes, that sounds just like them…the poor souls. Hopefully, we will be able to put their tormented spirits at rest so they may pass on to the afterlife, where they may torment each other for all eternity."

"…That doesn't sound like a very pleasant afterlife," Michael said.

"Trust me; it'll be paradise for them. They live to make each other suffer," Wabbaku said wryly. "And it'll be quite a bit better than what they're going through now." Michael nodded, conceding the point.

THERE IS ONE OTHER THING YOU SHOULD BE AWARE OF, Mie said as they started for the cave entrance. MEWGLE IS ON HIS WAY HERE.

"We know," Wabbaku said. "We will do our best to awaken the spirit before he arrives."

Mie shook her head. IT'S NOT THAT SIMPLE. FROM OUTSIDE, THE CAVE MIGHT NOT LOOK LIKE MUCH, BUT _INSIDE_…WELL, LET'S JUST SAY THAT EVEN STICKING TO THE PATH, IT MAY TAKE YOU A WHILE TO REACH THE SPIRIT. IT DOESN'T HELP THAT TIME DOESN'T EXACTLY FLOW THE SAME WAY IN THERE THAT IT DOES OUT HERE…

"What? Then you mean that despite everything, we _still_ might not make it in time?" Michael cried in horror.

YOU MIGHT NOT. REMEMBER, EVEN AFTER YOU GET TO THE SPIRIT, YOU MUST USE YOUR POWERS TO RESURRECT IT, WHICH WILL BE NO EASY FEAT, EVEN FOR A PAIR OF POWERFUL SHAMANS LIKE YOURSELVES, Mie said. Seeing their crestfallen looks, the crystalline entity added, DO NOT DESPAIR. ALL IS NOT YET LOST. WHEN MEWGLE ARRIVES, WE SHALL DISTRACT HIM LONG ENOUGH FOR YOU TO SUCCEED IN YOUR QUEST.

Their eyes lit up. "You'd do that for us? Really?" Gardenia asked hopefully.

MEWGLE IS A THREAT TO ALL OF REALITY. OBSERVING REALITY IS WHAT WE DO, Mie said as the Unown started milling about her ominously. AND NONE OF US ARE PARTICULARLY INCLINED TO SPEND THE REST OF ETERNITY WATCHING A KILLER GM TURN EVERYONE IN EXISTENCE INTO PCS AND NPCS HE CAN TORMENT AND DROP ROCKS ON WHENEVER HE WISHES.

"He'll drop rocks on people? That doesn't sound particularly imaginative," said a confused Michael.

"Oh, you'd be surprised at all the ways a bad GM can imagine to kill you," Mondo said, shuddering in horror.

"Do you think you will be able to defeat him?" Wabbaku asked in concern.

Mie hesitated. THE UNOWN CAN BEND REALITY TO THEIR WHIM…HOWEVER, MEWGLE HAS THE ABILITY TO ALTER PROBABILITY IN HIS FAVOR IN ANY GAME, FIGHT, OR COMPETITION. THE ONLY BEING IN ALL OF CREATION WHO IS IMMUNE TO THIS ABILITY IS LEO DEKAPPA. WE WILL DO OUR BEST, BUT THERE IS NO GUARANTEE WE WILL PREVAIL.

"What? Then…then you'll be sacrificing yourselves just to give us a chance to save the world?" Gardenia gasped.

HAHAHAHAHAHA, the Unown spelled over Mie's head as she laughed. (They thought.) HARDLY. WE ARE A COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS. EVEN IF THE LEVIATHAN DEVOURS A FEW OF US, EVEN IF HE DEVOURS ME, WE WILL STILL EXIST ELSEWHERE. AND IF IT _DOES_ MANAGE TO EAT US… The Speaker smiled. IT MAY FIND US A BIT TOO DIFFICULT TO STOMACH.

"That is wonderful news," Wabbaku said.

Michael nodded. "And any discomfort or lasting impact you can make on them will probably help Leo and everyone else against them in the long run."

INDEED. AND WHILE WE DISTRACT MEWGLE, WE WILL BUY YOU THE TIME YOU NEED TO SUCCEED IN YOUR MISSION. Mie gestured towards the cave mouth. GO. DO NOT LOOK BACK, AND DO NOT WORRY ABOUT US. THE TASK AT HAND IS ALL THAT MATTERS.

Wabbaku nodded firmly. "Understood. We will not let you down."

WE KNOW THAT YOU WON'T, Mie said as they started once more for the cave. OH, AND REMEMBER-

"We know, we know, don't touch anything!" Mondo said.

I WAS GOING TO SAY DON'T TRY TO RUSH YOURSELVES, BECAUSE YOU MAY ONLY SLOW YOURSELVES DOWN DUE TO THE WAY TIME AND SPACE FLUCTUATE INSIDE THE CAVE, BUT THAT WORKS TOO, Mie said.

"This is going to be really weird, isn't it?" Gardenia said as they entered the cave.

"Most certainly," Wabbaku said.

"Weirder than engaging in a turn-based battle with a cheating bastard of a demon and a giant monster with infinite HP alongside a hideously deformed Mightyena with some kind of ultra-powerful hand weapon, a mutant Buneary who can turn into Tentacthulhu, and getting rescued by a grotesque Primeape and a pair of baby…things in a heavily-armed helicopter that is somehow able to function underwater?" Mondo asked.

Wabbaku considered this. "Possibly even weirder," he said.

Mondo's eyes widened in amazement. "Whoooooaaaaaa."

Michael blinked. "Wait, what? What was that about-"

"Trust me, it'll make even less sense if we try to explain it," Gardenia said.

"Oh," Michael said dubiously. "Okay. But what's a helicopter, and what's odd about it working underwater?"

As Gardenia attempted to explain the unexplainable to the Leafeon, the four of them entered the cave, vanishing from view and entering a realm that defied description. And since it defies description, I can't write about it or all the strange and wondrous things they saw there, so let's focus on Mie, shall we? Once the shamans and their entourage had ventured into the cave, Mie and the Unown waited patiently for Mewgle to come, as they knew he would. Time passed. How much time was unclear, since for beings such as them, who existed at least partially outside of linear time, a thousand years could fly by in the blink of an eye, or vice versa, it was all the same to them.

Regardless, the Sun continued on its path across the sky, reaching and passing its zenith as the shadows of everything its light shone upon gradually shifted directions. (Except for Mie and the Unown, who didn't have shadows, or rather, they did have shadows, but not in the same way normal people did. In fact, an argument could easily be made that _they_ were the shadows, being cast by incomprehensible and unknowable beings who existed outside of the universe as its occupants knew it, and looked into it curiously, just as a child might gaze at the fish in his aquarium, who are equally incapable of comprehending the massive creatures outside their glass enclosure. (Unless they were sentient fish. If they were, then it was a whole other story.)) Hours flew by, and the four Pokémon did not emerge from the cave, and still Mie and the Unown waited.

And then Mewgle arrived.

His approach was easy to spot. A dark cloud on the horizon, swiftly growing larger as it swept across the plains towards Aegis Cave in defiance of the winds which by all rights should have been blowing it in the other direction. The shadow the cloud cast upon the land was darker than normal, and seemed to be wriggling and made from many different components. For that matter, so did the cloud. It was only as the cloud and its shadow drew nearer that it became apparent that neither were quite what they appeared; that they were no mere meteorological phenomenon or trick of the light, but something far worse.

It was an army. An army of demons and ghouls, robots and wizards, orcs and goblins and zombies and mutants and monsters and aliens and giants and dinosaurs and vampires and werewolves and pretty much every kind of enemy imaginable from pretty much every RPG, both tabletop and video game, imaginable, blotting out the Sun and staining the earth as they marched and slithered and stomped and hovered and burrowed and glided and flew and undulated in the direction of the cave. The geoglyphs assessed the threat and started powering up, but remained on standby, the consensus of the Unown hive mind deciding to wait a bit and see what happened. As eternal observers, such was their way, to never act without a sufficient analysis of what they were up against or a reason to do anything about it, so as to ensure they achieve the optimal (or most interesting) result.

Mie and the Unown hovering around her looked up without fear as the massive horde encircled the hills and plains around Aegis Cave, covering the ground and filling the skies so there was no way to escape, and there was nothing but hostile and horrific faces as far as the eye could see, the only thing restraining them from charging forwards and killing everything in sight the orders of their master. Mie smiled thinly in bemusement at the formidable display of military monstrosity. Mewgle always had been fond of melodramatics, and setting up impossible situations to challenge the forces of good.

And speak of the demon, but here came Mewgle himself, lowering from the swarm of horrors filling the skies atop the head of the greatest horror of all, the Leviathan, the beast even larger than before due to all the souls it had feasted on during the long trek to the cave, and still hungry for more, ever ravenous for more spirits to whet its appetite. As Leviathan's head reached the ground, Mewgle gracefully floated off his steed's head and landed amidst the geoglyphs. Ignoring the power building around him or the many eyes staring at him, Mewgle brazenly swaggered towards Mie, a fanged grin lighting up his face as he spotted the Speaker for the Unown. "Well, well, well, if it isn't little Molly Hale! Or should I say 'big' Molly Hale? You've certainly grown up quite a lot in the several billion years it's been since the last time I saw you! Well, not that we ever formally met, but rest assured I was present when Deoxys attacked your estate. I crafted most of the illusions you battled through. What did you think of them?"

DREADFUL. AND I WOULD RATHER YOU DID NOT CALL ME BY THAT NAME, Molly said coldly. IT IS NOT SOMETHING I HAVE GONE BY FOR A VERY LONG TIME.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, kiddo," Mewgle said flippantly. "So, your family here too? And by 'family' I mean the parents and random guy you mind-raped and transformed into legendary Pokémon against their will? What the heck was with those names, anyway? 'Papa' and 'Mama' I can understand, but 'Oneechan?' Seriously? The hell was wrong with you? Did you think it would be cute or something? Or 'kawaii' or whatever you crazy kids who think it's so cool to spout off gibberish in foreign languages from cultures you only superficially understand? I think 'Brother' would have been good enough personally, but hey, what do I know, not like _I_ have any brothers!" Mie narrowed her eyes but did not respond. "Hit a sore spot, huh? Good, let me hit another: perform any more statutory rape lately, or have your one-eyed masters been keeping you on a tighter leash this time around?"

I HAVE ATONED FOR AND MOVED BEYOND THE SINS OF MY PAST, Molly said. UNLIKE YOU, MEWGLE, WHO WAS GIVEN A CLEAN SLATE AND A CHANCE TO START OVER LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, ONLY TO SPURN ARCEUS AND RETURN TO YOUR OLD WAYS.

Mewgle shrugged. "What can I say, I'm a creature of habit. And besides, me following someone else's orders, especially some sappy do-gooder God? Boooooooriiiiiing! I'm a GM, not a PC! I march to nobody's beat but my own!"

YOU FOLLOWED DEOXYS'S ORDERS, Mie pointed out. AS WELL AS THE RULER OF EVIL'S.

"Yeah, only until I could amass enough power to stab them in the back," Mewgle replied. He clenched his fists and gnashed his teeth at the memory of the cause of his failure. "And I actually might have managed it on both counts if it weren't for one obnoxious little turtle who does _not_ knew when to keep his sunglasses out of my business!" He chuckled sinisterly. "But I don't think he'll be a problem for much longer, especially not with my new best bud! Isn't that right, Leviathan?" Leviathan opened its mouth and bellowed, shaking the earth for miles around, the army of monsters cheering.

LEO WILL FIND A WAY TO DEFEAT YOU. HE ALWAYS DOES, Mie said. YOUR POWERS TO WARP PROBABILITY TO MAKE SURE YOU WIN EVERY GAME HAS NO EFFECT ON SOMEONE LIKE HIM, WHO HAS THE POTENTIAL TO _SEE_ THE MECHANICS AND WORKINGS OF REALITY HIMSELF AND FIGURE OUT HOW TO USE THEM TO HIS ADVANTAGE. IT IS AN ABILITY YOU CANNOT OUTMANEUVER, NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY TO CHEAT. IT WILL BE YOUR DOWNFALL, AS IT ALWAYS HAS BEEN BEFORE.

"Maybe he will beat me again, though I'm hoping he won't," Mewgle admitted grudgingly. "But I bet he'll have a very, _very_ difficult time of it this time around if he were unable to receive help from the old 'friend' of mine you've been keeping in cold storage all this time. If you'll let me pass, though, I can clear that little problem up real quick-like and be out of your crystalline hair in no time, so you and your voyeuristic pals can go back to playing Peeping Tom or whatever it is you do to get your jollies on."

Mie didn't budge. Neither did the Unown. YOU SHALL NOT PASS, the Speaker said.

Mewgle frowned briefly, and then started chuckling. "Cute. You and your little crossword puzzle pals think you can actually beat me?"

IF YOU INTENDED TO BESIEGE US, YOU SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT A LARGER ARMY, Mie said, casually dismissing the millions and millions of monsters gathered around them.

As his minions roared in fury, Mewgle burst into laughter. "Hahahaha! What, these guys? Don't be ridiculous! They're not my army, they're my _cheering section._ I don't _need_ them to defeat you. I've become so powerful that not even your BFFs and all the other letters in the alphabet can stop me. Not for long, anyway."

PERHAPS NOT…BUT WE CAN CERTAINLY HOLD YOU LONG ENOUGH FOR WABBAKU AND THE OTHERS TO REVIVE YOUR ENEMY, Mie said firmly.

Mewgle frowned. "Oh, you think so, do you? Is that a challenge I hear?"

IT IS INDEED, Mie said. WE KNOW YOU, MEWGLE. YOU CANNOT RESIST PLAYING A GAME, ESPECIALLY AGAINST AN OPPONENT WHO MAY ACTUALLY BE ABLE TO GIVE YOU A CHALLENGE…NOT LIKE POOR JAMES, WHOM YOU RUTHLESSLY SLAUGHTERED.

"True, true," Mewgle admitted. "Though I did take a perverse pleasure in massacring Jimmy-boy for old time's sake…and I'm making sure that he's suffering even worse than all the other souls stuck in Leviathan's intestines, because his anguish is just so Arceusdamned funny. Is it any wonder Deoxys intended to use him as a backup to hold either his or Dark Latios's seed in case the Mother managed to defeat him? Too bad that plan didn't quite pan out, though…anyway, why should I bother playing against you? I already _know_ I'm going to win, which means you're just trying to stall for time so those two-bit witch doctors can revive my old partner. Which won't do them any good, mind you, since I've got Leviathan here to back me up!"

IF THAT WERE THE CASE, THEN WHY DID YOU RUSH HERE SO QUICKLY? Mie asked. IF YOU ARE SO CONFIDENT IN YOUR INVINCIBILITY, WHY ARE YOU SO INTENT ON STOPPING HER RESURRECTION? SURELY IF YOU'RE _REALLY_ UNBEATABLE, WHETHER OR NOT SHE'S REVIVED OR NOT WON'T MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE TO YOU IN THE LONG RUN…

Mewgle glowered. "…Hmmph. Smart-mouthed runt. It's not that I'm scared, I just don't want any unnecessary complications interfering in my revenge, or my plan to become Game Master of all reality."

BUT IF YOU WERE TO DEFEAT LEO AT HIS FULLEST POTENTIAL, WHICH YOUR OLD PARTNER WILL BE ABLE TO HELP HIM REACH, WON'T YOU BE MORE SATISFIED THAN YOU WOULD BE IF YOU DEFEATED HIM WHEN HE WAS TOO WEAK TO PUT UP A GOOD FIGHT? Mie asked.

"No," Mewgle said bluntly. "I've tried that before. It never works. No, I think it'll probably be safest to nip this little problem in the bud before it threatens to become a pain in my rear. Overconfidence has been my downfall before, and while I'm _fairly_ certain I can beat Leo even if he becomes that strong with Leviathan's help, I'm not _absolutely_ certain, otherwise I wouldn't even be here. True, it might not be as satisfying if I were to crush him while there was such an overwhelming gap in ability between us…but it'll certainly make things a lot easier for me, and sometimes it's better for a villain to be pragmatic, even if it's not quite as fun as doing it the 'traditional' way."

FAIR ENOUGH, Mie said. EVEN SO, I WILL NOT LET YOU PASS SO EASILY. YOU CAN EITHER BATTLE ME DIRECTLY, OR PLAY A GAME. EITHER WAY, YOU PROBABLY WILL WIN, BUT IF YOU FIGHT ME YOUR POWERS WILL BE SIGNIFICANTLY DRAINED AND MAY TAKE SOME TIME TO RECOVER, WHICH MAY GIVE LEO AS MUCH TIME AS HE NEEDS TO REACH YOUR LEVEL, WITH OR WITHOUT THE HELP OF THE SPIRIT OF YOUR OLD PARTNER. HOWEVER, IF YOU SIMPLY PLAYED A GAME AGAINST ME, YOU NEED NOT OVEREXERT YOURSELF, AND WILL ALSO HAVE THE CHANCE TO TEST YOURSELF AGAINST ONE WHO MAY BE YOUR EQUAL IN PROBABILITY MANIPULATION. THE CHOICE IS YOURS.

Mewgle considered for a minute. "Hmm…you make a good argument. Almost _too_ good an argument. However, you're right in that I can't resist a good game…very well. What shall we play? Hopscotch? Tiddlywinks? Or something a little more 'advanced,' like, say, Lu-Gi-Oh?"

I'M NOT PARTICULARLY A FAN OF CHILDREN'S CARD GAMES, Mie said.

The monsters gasped in horror. "You speak blasphemy!" someone shouted.

Mewgle frowned. "Then what exactly did you have in mind?"

Mie smirked. SOMETHING I HAVE SOME…PROFICIENCY FOR. The Unown started swirling wildly around her, rising up and spreading out around her. They glowed, channeling immense power, and one by one turned into stone, changing into immense stone slabs with their forms carved into them.

Mewgle raised an eyebrow. "I thought you said you didn't like children's card games. Or are you more interested in playing the ancient Pokégyptian version that inspired the one we have now? Because if so, I'm cool with that."

Mie shook her head. NOT QUITE.

The ground started shaking as the geoglyphs lit up, and suddenly a new formation drew itself on the earth between Mie and Mewgle in lines of light. Mewgle frowned as the lines formed a 15-by-15 grid, with 2xLS, 3xLS, 2xWS, and 3xWS marking several of the squares in the grid according to a complex pattern. A portal opened to the side of the grid, and all the petrified Unown flew into it, except for 14, which flipped right-side up so that the symbols etched into them were unseen by Mewgle or Mie and shuffled themselves wildly before splitting into two groups and landing in two neat lines of seven, one on Mewgle's side of the grid and one on Mie's, with the letters facing them.

It took Mewgle a couple of minutes to realize what was going on. It wasn't that he was unfamiliar with the game, it was just that he wasn't used to playing it on this scale. "Wait. Wait just one minute. Are you telling me we're playing SCRABBLE?"

YES, Mie said. WHY? IS THAT A PROBLEM?

"No, it's just not what I was expecting," Mewgle said. "And word games have usually been beneath my notice, since they're kind of…well, dull. Not enough explosions."

THERE'S NOTHING DULL ABOUT SCRABBLE, ESPECIALLY IF YOU HAVE A LARGE VOCABULARY AND ARE CLEVER AND LUCKY ENOUGH TO SELECT THE RIGHT LETTERS TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT, Mie said defensively.

"Yeah, that's true," Mewgle admitted, rubbing his chin. "Well, this isn't quite what I was expecting, but I suppose it could be fun to try something else for a change. All right, I'll indulge you. To gain entry to Aegis Cave and the remains of my dear old friend—as well as those meddlers—I will defeat you…in a children's word game!" His minions cheered.

Mie nodded. THEN LET US BEGIN.

And so the most epic and important game of Scrabble in the history of the world began…

…

Elsewhere…

"So, what test are you going to perform on me this time?" a rather bored Gardevoir asked from the table she'd been strapped to in one of the many chambers of Oblivion's Shadow's seemingly endless laboratory. Like every other room in the Shadow's personal quarters, everything was white, pristine, and utterly devoid of any personality. While Tarantulas's lab was horrific, at least it had a character to it mirroring the madmon's own, as well as that of his depraved henchmon, a glimpse at the nature of the insanity that guided their actions and way of life that one didn't have to be psychic to see. The Shadow's labs, on the other hand, said little if anything about their owner, save that he was fastidious, secretive, virtually impossible to understand, and almost infuriatingly impersonal in the experiments and tortures he carried out on a daily basis, as if it was as mundane and ordinary as filling out paperwork. In some ways, that was even more terrifying than the psychotic glee Tarantulas and Chobin exhibited in their pursuit of 'science.' At least they had 'fun.' For the Shadow, it was just…work. Nothing special.

On the plus side, he didn't go out of his way to cause her pain like Tarantulas or Bellum had when experimenting on her. It hurt, yes, but he seemed more curious in seeing how her body reacted to it than in taking any actual pleasure in it, and he always told her ahead of time when whatever he was going to do to her next might be painful. Additionally, he always apologized if the pain caused by a test went beyond anticipated parameters, though she wasn't sure if he was saying sorry for hurting her or sorry for making an error in his calculations. She wasn't sure how she felt about that. Still, it hurt less than it had been being one of Tarantulas's test subjects, so she supposed she should be grateful for that much, though she hated to be beholden to the Shadow for anything.

The Shadow, who had been tinkering with some equipment on a worktable nearby, turned and approached the table Gardevoir was fastened to. By now he knew the limits of her strength (or thought he did, Gardevoir was doing a good job concealing how much her powers were growing with every new vampire added to the rebel network right under the Nihilators' noses) from previous 'accidents' or escape attempts, and made sure restraints powerful enough to keep her right where he wanted her had been placed all over the lab. The surface of the table was covered in silver, and silver cuffs and bands with mystic runes were locked into place over her limbs and body to keep her from moving. An intense UV lamp shone down on her from above, the light tuned to a frequency that would weaken her without causing her to burst into flames. She was also, as always, wearing the psionic inhibitor that nullified her Psychic powers and the collar that could shut down her nervous system and render her paralyzed if she made any threatening moves. Other anti-vampire countermeasures had been installed all over the room, but the table, the lamp, and her ornaments were the most obvious. "Another potential cure for your condition."

Gardevoir sighed, as did all her friends who were watching through her eyes. _He's still on that?_ Kevin complained.

"You're still on that?" Gardevoir complained. "Considering how all your other attempts to create an antidote failed, I'd have thought you'd have given up already."

"No disease is incurable. A solution can always be found, through the proper application of science and knowledge," the Shadow said.

"And what if you _can't_ cure it?" she asked skeptically.

"Then I need better science and more knowledge," the Shadow said, holding up a device that looked sort of like a handgun (not that any of them but possibly the Teacher knew what that was) with a rather large hypodermic needle in place of a barrel. "I'm going to require a sample of your blood."

Gardevoir frowned. "You've already withdrawn enough blood from me to create your own blood bank. Why do you need more?"

"Most of the samples I've already taken do not survive my attempts at treatment. Additionally, you seem to share a unique connection to your blood…which I suppose makes sense, given what you are, and how you can control any Pokémon you turn into vampires by giving them some of your blood to make them like yourself," the Shadow said. "Whenever I test a potential cure on some of your blood, your body picks up on it and adapts to make itself more resistant to whatever treatment I used."

This was interesting news to Gardevoir, and to the other vampires listening in. So that explained why she sometimes felt some sort of phantom pain whenever a test he conducted on some of her blood went badly. "Then doesn't that mean if you _do_ find a cure, my body will change itself so it won't work before you get a chance to apply it?"

"That is a possibility, yes, but I have not reached that stage yet," the Shadow said. "So far I haven't found a method of eliminating the vampiric cells in your blood without destroying _all_ your cells. Once I find something that can, I can start modifying it and testing it on you until I find something your immune systems are unable to repel."

"How do you know something like that won't kill me?" Gardevoir asked.

"I don't. That's why I'm still in the early stages of developing a treatment," he said, sounding annoyed by this setback. "If I wanted you dead, I'd just inject liquid silver into your bloodstream and let it kill you from within. I want you alive, and I don't mean undead like you are now, but _alive_ alive. Once I've found something that will restore your cells to their original state rather than destroying them, I'll administer it immediately, hopefully before you have time to make yourself immune to it. If your body's adapted to it by then, however, I'll keep trying until I make it stick. Hopefully at some point along the way I'll find a way to block that vampiric 'dark' telepathy you can use to talk to your cohorts despite the psionic inhibitor I've placed on you. Your connection to your blood works on the same principle, so if I can sever that link, I can create a working antidote without your body learning how to counter it."

"That sounds like an awful lot of trial and error," she said.

"Scientific endeavors are rarely easy. A great deal of trial and error is required before any significant discovery can be made," the Shadow said.

"But why go to all this effort? Why are you obsessed with 'curing' me? Why do you want me to stay alive?" Gardevoir asked.

_That's something I would like to know as well,_ the Teacher commented, seconded by the rest of her friends.

"Partly because of curiosity. Like Tarantulas, I am a scientist, and am always seeking to understand the world around me," the Shadow said. "I'm also doing it as a safeguard, however. While I'm confident I can defeat you even should you break free and my countermeasures are not enough to stop you, you are still an uncontrollable element, along with the vampire who turned you in the first place, and the vampires whom Bellum so foolishly allowed to escape her control. So long as you and your kind exist in your current state, you represent a potential threat to my operations."

_Heh, if only he knew how right he was!_ The Doduo vampire stuck in Tarantulas' lab said.

"Then why not simply kill me and put an end to it?" Gardevoir challenged.

"While I could kill you at any time, you are a unique specimen and it would feel like a waste to do that before I have fully understood every aspect of your condition…as well as how to reverse it," the Shadow said. "If I can cure you, then I can cure any other vampire, including those who have escaped our custody and are threatening my plans. While I am not positive if killing you will kill them as well—killing vampire test subjects who have created other vampires has not doomed their followers as well, like some legends say should happen—there is a chance that curing you will cure them, because some stories say that might happen as well. And even if it doesn't, then I will still win…I'll have you, a creature far too valuable to simply eliminate."

_Okay, this is getting kind of creepy…_ Kevin muttered.

_He's in love with her! Isn't that cute?_ Lovrina gushed.

_NO!_ everyone else shouted.

Gardevoir frowned. "What do you mean?"

"In your current state, you are more a hindrance to my plans than an asset. If I can restore you to your original state, however, I believe I will be able to use you as I had initially hoped to in order to fulfill my ultimate objective," the Shadow said.

"I thought you had a substitute for that," Gardevoir said.

"I do, but while my backup meets the criteria I'm looking for, it's not as optimal a match as you are, or rather, were…and may become again," the Shadow said. "While I'm fairly certain my plans will still work if I use my substitute, if I can utilize you, the ideal candidate, I will be much more confident in my chances of success."

_So that's it!_ Gardevoir thought angrily.

_See? Told you he wasn't in love with her!_ Kevin said.

_I'm not convinced. That's probably just a lie he's telling himself to justify why he's keeping her around,_ Lovrina said stubbornly.

_I don't suppose the Nihilators who come by my cell to beat me up and molest me and do worse all the time tell themselves similar lies to justify why they're keeping me around?_ The prisoner said glumly.

_No, they're just jerks,_ a technician said.

"And what exactly would your plans call for me to do, if I were to be restored to my original form?" Gardevoir asked, although she already knew the answer, or was fairly certain she did. He didn't know that, of course.

"That is not something you need to concern yourself with, especially if it turns out that I cannot cure you before the time when I need you or your substitute comes to pass," the Shadow said.

"Considering I'm apparently going to _die_ if you _do_ use me, I'd think it _would_ concern me, quite a lot," Gardevoir retorted.

"Perhaps, but since it's not certain yet that I _can_ use you, there is no need for you to know," the Shadow said with infuriating smugness. "If it will set your mind at ease, I promise that, if I can cure you, I'll explain the role you will play before you die."

"Gee, thanks," she said sarcastically. "That makes me feel much better."

"Good. Now, hold still." He stuck the needle into her arm and pulled the trigger on the device, beginning the extraction process. Gardevoir didn't even flinch. She'd been afraid of needles once, but oddly enough all the times she'd been stuck with them since getting kidnapped had gotten her over her fear. It just seemed like such a silly thing to be afraid of, considering how many very real, very painful, very evil things there were to fear. The fact that her pain threshold had been increased significantly since her transformation so that she didn't even feel a thing from such a small pinprick didn't hurt, either.

After drawing a sufficient quantity of blood, the Shadow removed the needle from Gardevoir's arm, her skin healing over the wound the instant it was clear. The Shadow walked back to his worktable and stuck the needle into a device that drained the blood and sorted it into a number of petri dishes, each dish containing only a few drops. The Shadow telekinetically arranged the dishes into neat rows, then selected one and levitated it over to another worktable, beneath what looked like a very large and very complicated light fixture. "So what does today's attempt at an antidote call for?" Gardevoir called to the Shadow as he glided across the room towards a console next to the worktable.

"Your kind is very photosensitive," the Shadow said as he inputted a series of commands into the computer, causing the light fixture to start warming up and humming with power. "As you already know, a strong enough dose of ultraviolet radiation can disintegrate you in seconds. A weaker dose, on the other hand, only drains your power. I am looking for something in between: a wavelength that will destroy the vampire part of you, but leave the rest unharmed. By adjusting frequencies and using a variety of specially crafted lenses, I'm hoping I can create a wavelength of light with the properties to cure you."

Gardevoir frowned. "So…you're going to create an anti-vampire tanning booth?"

"Essentially, yes," the Shadow said.

_Ooh, if it weren't for the fact that something like that would kill and/or turn me back to normal, I'd love to try it out!_ Lovrina gushed. _…Huh. I guess this means I can't ever go to the beach again, can I?_

_You could go at night,_ Kevin said. _Or on a cloudy day._

Lovrina sighed. _Yeah, but it's not the same…_

"All right," the Shadow said as a force field materialized around the worktable. "Initiating first test." The light fixture shone a beam of purple light down at the petri dish for precisely one second.

Gardevoir felt a vague tingling, some kind of sympathetic reaction to whatever the light was doing to the blood sample. _Did the rest of you feel that, too?_

_Yes, but we feel everything you do because of the way our network is set up,_ said a guard.

_So it's not just us vampires who can sense it,_ the vampire Doduo said.

Gardevoir sighed. _I suppose not. Guess there's no way to tell yet whether curing me will automatically cure everyone else, then._

_I hope it doesn't! I _love_ being a vampire! I never want to turn back!_ Lovrina said.

_While I believe that if you were killed or cured, we would certainly feel it, Mistress, since you are the progenitor of our race,_ the vampire Hitmonchan said. _I do not think it will have the same effect on us. It will hurt, oh yes, it will hurt most dearly, but we will survive…although without your guiding darkness to cast a shadow for us to follow, I'm not sure how many of us will want to._

_Don't worry, if we lose Gardevoir, you can all follow me instead!_ Lovrina said.

…_Like I said, we will survive, although without your guiding darkness to cast a shadow for us to follow I'm not sure how many of us will want to,_ the vampire said.

_Hey!_ Lovrina shouted.

Gardevoir stifled a giggle. "Did it work?" she asked the Shadow, who was examining his console carefully.

"Hmm…no," he said. He lowered the force field, removed the petri dish, and put a new one in its place.

"You aren't going to reuse that?" she asked as he put the used dish in a cold storage unit.

"The exposure to UV radiation has altered it. I need a fresh, unchanged sample to see if the next setting I try will have a different effect," the Shadow explained.

"Doesn't all of my blood change in reaction to whatever you do to some of it in those tests?" Gardevoir asked. "Including the stuff in those dishes?"

"Yes, but it's still uncontaminated by UV, making it a better choice than a dish that's already been exposed," the Shadow explained. He raised the force field again. "Now, let's try a different frequency…" He adjusted something on the console. "Initiating second test."

Again, the purple light lanced out. To Gardevoir's more sensitive eyes, it was a slightly different shade from the last one, though the variation was very slight. Again, she felt a tingle. "Did that work?" she asked.

"No," he said after a moment's glance at the latest display on his screen. "No matter. There are still many frequencies to try, and many lenses to use. Hopefully one combination of the two will have the sort of reaction I'm looking for."

Gardevoir hoped otherwise. "Combinations? You mean you're going to be pairing different frequencies and lenses together to see what each of them does?"

"Indeed. It may take a while," the Shadow said as he removed the dish and put a new one in its place.

She sighed. "Well, it's not like I'm going anywhere. I don't suppose you could make this table you've got me strapped to more comfortable?"

"I'm afraid not. Safety precaution," the Shadow said as he made an adjustment and raised the force field. "Initiating third test…"

The next few hours were rather dull and relatively pain-free as the Shadow continued his experiments with interior lighting, which would normally be nice, but the fact that she was stuck to a rather uncomfortable table for the duration of it made the experience even more unpleasant. She'd tried dozing off a few times, but the bite of the silver and the sensations she got from whatever the Shadow was doing to her blood always snapped her out of it. It was a shame; she'd been hoping to meet her new friend again for tea. He seemed very lonely shut up in his subconscious all by himself. She felt terribly guilty having to leave him all alone for such long periods of time. The door between their minds was still open, but he seemed to be unable to leave his realm for hers, possibly due to whatever injury or trauma had left him stuck in that dreadful state in the first place, and her other 'selves' were unable to travel through the door to spend time with him without Gardevoir herself there, since they were only fragments of herself and couldn't leave her subconscious without her help. She'd try and make it up to her friend later, when the Shadow was done fooling around and she could go back to her cell and rest.

And speaking of her friend… _I don't suppose any of you have found any information pertaining to my new acquaintance?_ Gardevoir asked.

_Sorry, but we've got nothing,_ a cook said apologetically.

_Thanks to our newest recruits, we've managed to infiltrate almost every corner of the fortress, but we haven't found anyone we think could be this pal of yours,_ Kevin said.

_But this is a big place, and there are lots of top-secret super-restricted areas, so he could still be stashed away somewhere we haven't found yet,_ Lovrina said. _Maybe even somewhere where you are, Gardevoir!_

_It could be,_ Gardevoir agreed. _It's not like I've gotten to see everything the Shadow has around here. I haven't seen anyone else, but I'm fairly certain there are other prisoners here. I can…feel them. But I don't know if any of them could be my new friend. Not even my friend knows who he is, which makes things rather difficult._

_I'll say, _one of the newest vampire converts said.

_Kind of hard for us to look for a guy that doesn't even know what species he is!_ Another vampire agreed.

_I'm working on it,_ Gardevoir said. _He's slowly starting to put bits and pieces together. With a little more time, I think we can help him remember everything._

_Not to complain, but why is that important again?_ Kevin asked.

_Because he knows or knew Ash, and Ash is important to the Shadow, so it's no long stretch to think that my friend might be important to the Shadow too,_ Gardevoir said. _Especially if he's near enough for our minds to link up. If we can restore all his memories, it's possible he might be able to help us when we start our rebellion._

_And then the two of you can get married, and he can be the first member of your harem! _Lovrina squealed happily.

_What-I—what are you talking about?_ Gardevoir spluttered. She didn't bother denying that she was starting to…_like_ her new friend. He was charming and friendly and sad, the kind of person she instinctively felt like she needed to help somehow. The fact that she didn't know that much about him yet was a bit of a problem, but she was sure that she would learn more in time, and that it wouldn't change how she felt. The fact that he had been a friend of Ash at one point already spoke volumes for his character, since any friend of Ash's was a friend of hers. So no, this wasn't what she found objectionable about Lovrina's latest disturbing comment, rather it was the insinuation that she wanted a harem. Sure, other Gardevoirs seemed inclined to have multiple partners, but she'd never really been interested in that sort of thing before, and she wasn't now.

Then again…her 'demon' self had been talking about that sort of thing a lot lately, and her 'angel' self hadn't argued with her about it as usual, and her 'vampire' self had seemed mildly interested in the idea, and oh heavens she was actually entertaining the idea wasn't she? Arceusdammit. And Lovrina babbling about how hawt it would be for Gardevoir to be a sexy vampire queen with a stable of cute stud-muffins wasn't helping matters any. And everyone could hear everything she was thinking as well as how she was feeling about the whole thing. Sometimes being part of such an intimate network where it was impossible to keep secrets could be a real pain.

Thankfully, a bright flash of light from nearby and a searing pain rushing through her body distracted her from her subordinate's prattle as the latest blood sample Oblivion's Shadow was testing vanished in a burst of smoke and flame. She hissed angrily. "That really smarted! I'm guessing that wasn't the right combination, then?"

"I don't believe so," the Shadow said as he looked at the steaming petri dish. There wasn't a single drop of blood left. "However, I think I may be onto something here. Just a few adjustments…"

He replaced the smoking petri dish with a fresh one, and replaced the lens on the light fixture overhead. Gardevoir noticed, much to her relief, that this dish was the last of the samples he'd taken. "That's the last dish. After this, are we done for the day?"

"Hmm? Oh no, far from it, I still have several dozen more settings to try out. After this test, I'll just draw some new blood from you and keep going," the Shadow said as he fiddled with his console.

"Oh," she said, somewhat disgruntled. Again, she couldn't help comparing the Shadow's laboratory etiquette with Tarantulas. The Ariados had been frightening, very much so, but never so…_dull._

_Seriously? You're complaining?_ The prisoner cried. _I'd _love_ to be dull. It'd be a lot better than what I've got going for me now!_

_No offense, Mistress, but he has a point. You should consider yourself lucky, _the dead vampire Nosepass said.

_Sorry, you're right. It's just kind of frustrating. I'm not learning anything that could be useful to us, and nothing's happening other than him shining bright lights on dishes of my blood to see what will happen. I thought science was supposed to be more interesting. That's the impression I got from Doctor Tarantulas, anyway,_ she said.

_That's because he's a nutjob,_ said a lab assistant who worked in one of the smaller laboratories that weren't run by Tarantulas or Oblivion's Shadow. _He's less interested in doing things the scientific way than in having fun, which usually means doing horrible things to other people. Real science involves a lot of testing, and retesting, and re-retesting until you get results. It's not always interesting, but it's the best way to learn something in a thorough and accurate way._

_I suppose that makes sense,_ Gardevoir admitted.

_That's boring,_ Lovrina complained. _Where's the explosions?_

_Not as common as you might think,_ the lab assistant said.

"Initiating seventy-second test…" the Shadow said, activating his machine. The projector shone a light purple beam on the petri dish…

Which exploded violently without warning, causing Gardevoir to howl in agony and Oblivion's Shadow to flinch backwards in surprise as the blast consumed the projector and shorted out the protective force field, causing bits of shrapnel to fly all over the room, a few pieces imbedding themselves in Gardevoir's body or the surrounding walls and equipment. The Shadow reflexively raised his own shields to protect himself from the explosion, but not in time to stop a single, almost microscopic droplet of vampire blood from splattering against his mask.

Gardevoir stiffened, pupils shrinking as a foreign memory forced itself into her mind.

_The once-lush and bountiful valley, their sanctuary from the world, had been reduced to a shattered remnant bearing almost no resemblance to its original form. The ground was damp and muddy and strewn with broken branches and trees in parts where floods had washed across the plains. In other places, the rock had been baked so hot that it fused into glass, or even melted down into bubbling pools of magma. Some of the forest was still burning, while the rest of it was almost paradoxically frozen solid, turning it into an arctic wasteland. It was as if the seasons and the very elements had converged on his home and torn it apart…which, in fact, was almost exactly what had happened._

_And everywhere, everywhere there were bodies strewn about in varying states of disrepair. Some were simply lying still, as if they were only sleeping. Far more were dismembered, or frozen into blocks of ice and shattered, or turned into crackling skeletons, or reduced to soot and ashes. His friends…his family…_

_Everything had been stripped away from him. Destroyed by those he thought he could trust. He had thought he finally had a place to call home. A respite from his struggles against an uncaring world. And once again, his hopes of living in peace had been cruelly dashed before his eyes. When would he learn? When would he learn to stop hoping things would change, that so long as he existed, everything in this world, even the powers that be themselves, would seek his destruction, just because of what he was?_

_Fine. He'd tried to play by the rules. He'd tried to stand tall and be the better person. But this was enough. This was the last straw. He couldn't do this anymore._

_If the world would so callously throw him away…then maybe it was time he did the same to the world…_

Gardevoir blinked and returned to the lab, the vision fading as the Shadow wiped the blood off his mask. "Hmmph…I suppose that wasn't the right combination either…" he murmured as he surveyed the smoking remnants of his worktable and the sparking heap of scrap that was all that remained of his UV projector.

_What the…what just happened?_ Asked the confused Gardevoir.

_Was that…one of Oblivion's Shadow's memories?_ A medic asked incredulously.

_But…how did we see that? Aren't his mental defenses too strong for Gardevoir to penetrate?_ The dumbfounded Kevin asked.

_They are,_ the Teacher said. _However, she has a connection to her blood, a connection that the Shadow has found difficult to block out. When the blood made contact with his body, its proximity must have allowed Gardevoir a split-second look into his mind. I'm not sure he even noticed._

_Whoa! That's so cool!_ Lovrina said.

_Yeah, except we learned absolutely nothing useful at all,_ the prisoner said.

_Not necessarily,_ Gardevoir said, narrowing her eyes at the Shadow. _I think we just got a glimpse of his motivations…at what made him into the person he is now. That could prove…useful…_

_Yes, and then once you know the source of his anguish you can heal his wounded heart and redeem him with the power of love!_ Lovrina said.

Everyone regarded her incredulously. _Um, yeah, I'm pretty sure that's not gonna happen, _a janitor said.

_Not in this or any other world,_ the cook agreed.

_I'd say the odds of that happening are about as high as Bellum and Doctor Tarantulas getting together,_ the Doduo said.

_Well, there_ are_ a lot of rumors…_ the lab assistant said.

_And for the sake of everyone here, I think I can safely say that rumors is all they will ever be. At least, I _hope_ that's all they'll ever be. Could you imagine what kind of kids they'd have? Or how they'd-_ a guard said.

_Yes, we all can, thank you very much for the mental imagery,_ the dead Nosepass said as everyone groaned in disgust.

_Lovrina, why are you so insistent on me falling in love with Oblivion's Shadow?_ Asked the disgusted Gardevoir. _I thought you wanted me to hook up with my new…friend._

_I do! There's no reason you can't do both,_ Lovrina said.

_How about the fact that the guy's evil incarnate?_ Kevin asked.

_Nobody asked you, Kevin,_ Lovrina said.

_Yes, Mistress,_ the Kecleon grumbled.

"It looks like that might have to be the last test for today after all," the Shadow said, looking somewhat disgruntled as fire extinguishers sprayed fire-retardant foam on what was left of his worktable and projector. "It will take some time to repair this machine, and none of the other avenues I'm pursuing for cures have progressed enough for me to try out on you just yet."

"Does that mean we're done for the day?" Gardevoir asked in surprise.

"So it would seem," the Shadow said with a sigh as he turned to face her. "Are you all right? I believe that explosion hurt you more than it did me."

"I'm all right. I've gotten rather used to pain by now," she said wearily. "I don't suppose you could remove these bits of metal from my body, though? They rather sting."

"Of course." The Shadow telekinetically removed the pieces of shrapnel from Gardevoir's body, the wounds sealing back up almost at once thanks to her accelerated vampire healing.

"You know, considering all the benefits being a vampire has bestowed upon me, it's still somewhat of a surprise you'd want to find a way to nullify such a useful weapon rather than exploiting it," Gardevoir commented as her body mended itself. "Just think of how many innocent people you could hurt with such power."

"Your strain of vampirism is anathema to Shadow, which is the power upon which we Nihilators are built," the Shadow said. "As useful as it is, I will admit, there is no room for it in our organization."

"And yet you have room for me, apparently," Gardevoir said.

"As I've said before, you may still be of some use to me…assuming we can alleviate your current condition," the Shadow said.

"If that latest test was anything to go by, I honestly don't think you're going to get anywhere on that," Gardevoir pointed out.

"Perhaps not, but at least I tried, and furthered my knowledge in the process. Even if I fail to find a cure to vampirism, I will at least understand it better, which will have made my efforts at least partially worthwhile in the long run," the Shadow said.

"If you say so," Gardevoir said skeptically.

"Since we're finished here, I have a chance to catch up on some other matters that have been demanding my attention. I'm going to release your restraints now and escort you back to your cell. Don't try to escape, that collar you're wearing will shut down your nervous system if you try anything funny," the Shadow reminded her.

Actually, she'd figured out how to work around the collar's neural inhibitor by now, but at the moment wasn't in any condition to try and take the Shadow on. That would change, soon enough. "I'll be on my best performance," she promised him.

"I'll hold you to that," he said, undoing her shackles and turning off the UV lamp overhead. "Come."

They left the lab and headed back for her cell. "Since we had to cut testing short a little early today, you have a surplus of time on your hands. I trust you will find something to do to occupy yourself until we can resume later?" he asked her.

"Oh, I'm sure I'll think of something," she said honestly, already thinking of several things. There were more Nihilators to convert to her banner, more plans to make for the rebellion when the time for them to overthrow their captors finally came, more conversations to be had with her enigmatic friend…

And the memory she had glimpsed inside Oblivion's Shadow to ponder. From what she could surmise, it seemed as if he may have actually been a good person once, before a tragic betrayal destroyed everything he cared about. What did it mean? How did it shape him into the monster he was now? And how could she use it to her advantage?

_And how can you use it to win his heart and make him your love-slave?_ Lovrina crooned.

_Lovrina, for the last time, that's not going to happen,_ Gardevoir said.

_Oh, we'll just see about that. That's what they all say at first,_ Lovrina cackled.

Kevin sighed. _You see what I have to put up with? There are times I think you should have reconsidered making her a vampire…and such a high-ranking one, too._

_Shut up, Kevin, nobody asked your opinion,_ Lovrina said.

_Yes, Mistress,_ Kevin said meekly.

Gardevoir smiled to herself as the lovers bantered. As unpleasant as her current circumstances were, so long as she had good friends such as these with her, she felt like she could bear anything.

She hoped that Ash and his friends, wherever they were in the world, could do the same…especially if everything she'd heard regarding their latest adventure was true. It sounded as if Doctor Tarantulas had amassed quite the army to recapture and/or destroy her wayward servants. Was Team Aurabolt capable of defeating such a force that included not one but _four_ corrupted legendary birds?

They would have to be, she decided. Not just for her sake…but for the world's.

…

And you will see Team Aurabolt defeat the corrupted legendary birds next chapter!

Sorry for spending so much time on this filler, but I thought it was important to further these plot threads. Hopefully we won't need to do another filler chapter in the near future, because if so, this arc's going to drag on even longer than it already is…

I'm not sure when I'll have 56 ready, since I'm spending a lot of time at my jobs these days, but I'll do what I can to make sure it's as good as it possibly can be and that you receive it…at some point in the future. Not sure when, but it _will_ arrive. Eventually.

Until then, thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter! See you next time!


	56. Against the Storm

I believe I have some apologies to make.

First of all, I'm sorry it took me so long (Three months. Can you believe it?) to write this chapter. Now that I've graduated from college, I have to spend an awful lot of time either searching for a job or working part-time, so I have less time to write. In spite of this, I managed to get this written, and hopefully will be able to do the same with the next chapter in less time.

That's the second apology to make. Last time, I said that this would be the final part of the big battle against the Nihilators in the desert. It looks like that won't be the case. It's going to take one more chapter—and hopefully, that's _all_ it will take—before this conflict is resolved. I'll try and resolve the subplot loose ends from the last chapter too, but I won't make any promises because I haven't been doing so well at keeping those where this story is concerned.

I'm aware that this arc has probably dragged on way longer than you expected—certainly way more than _I_ expected—but it's my hope that after a couple more chapters, we'll be at the end of it and can get into the next arc, which is where the shit REALLY hits the fan and our heroes finally bring the fight to the Nihilators.

But that's a long ways off—again, longer than I expected—so until I can crank out chapter 57, I'll leave you with this. Hopefully it'll be some small consolation for the excruciatingly long wait and will keep you satisfied until next time.

So without further ado, let's get started!

…

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

To the denizens of the Shimmer Desert in the northwestern reaches of Sinnorre, it seemed like the end of the world had come.

The skies were blotted out by tremendous purple-black clouds, which, while normally being a good thing in the super-hot and arid desert since they provided shade from the blazing sun, in this instance were far from refreshing due to the fact that lightning, hail, fireballs, and acidic rain that ate through the sand and severely weakened any Pokémon unlucky enough to get hit by some of it before they could reach shelter. The eldest desert Pokémon were baffled and more than a little frightened by this hostile weather. While the infrequent rainstorms in the desert tended to be massive and occasionally deadly, capable of reshaping the entire landscape in a matter of minutes, none of them had ever seen a storm nearly as bad as this one. They hadn't even known it was _possible_ for fire or balls of ice to fall from the sky! How the heck was it possible for _both_ to happen at the same time, while it was still raining, even?

And that was just the bad weather. Off in the distance, at the epicenter of the dread storm, they could see massive and ominous forms, occasionally lit up by flashes of lightning or explosions so great they could be felt even from miles away. Huge flying machines, a walking mountain with eight spindly legs, and what looked like flying train cars all whizzed about, trading weapons fire with each other and with a few Pokémon brave or foolish enough to actually be flying unprotected in this inclement weather. The desert-dwellers did not know who these strangers were, but they could feel their power, and as they watched in terror and awe as they battled against four massive avians that seemed like living masses of darkness, they hoped that they were far enough away not to be affected by this clash of titanic power. The huge smoking canyon that the largest of the dark beasts had rent through the earth proved the falsehood of this belief, and those who weren't too frightened or amazed to move decided it might be a good idea to vacate the premises as quickly as possible, and not stop running until they were several hundred miles away or the storm ended, whichever came first.

The dread storm did not go unnoticed by the sole outpost of civilization in the arid desert, the magical land of Fichina. Although the storm was so far showing no signs of approaching their borders, its size and intensity and the fact that their weather-control spells didn't seem to have any effect on it was more than enough to make its residents a bit nervous. Those in a position of power and privilege enough to know the cause of the storm were even more nervous, since they knew _exactly_ why this storm was brewing, why it was so bad, and what was happening out there in the desert. Even though there was some kind of cloaking field in effect keeping them from mystically scrying what was going on under the storm clouds, they had been given advance warning that the Duchess Fantina, her retinue, and the other passengers of the Enchanted Express were engaging the forces of the mysterious Nihilator secret society, led by the mad Doctor Tarantulas. After hearing about the terrible battle that had been fought in Dusty Ditch the previous day against the other Nihilator commander Bellum, and seeing the aftermath of that massive conflict for themselves, there had naturally been a number of offers of assistance and several strongly-worded requests that the Duchess and the other passengers immediately come into protective custody before the Nihilators could strike again. These offers and requests had been gently but firmly turned down, on the reasoning that a fairly renowned oracle had foretold that the Enchanted Express would engage the Nihilator forces alone, and to do otherwise would risk the lives of many along with the security and wellbeing of Fichina as the villains desperately tried to find another way of stopping the passengers from revealing the vital and damning intel on the Nihilators' operations that they carried to the rest of the world. Granted, this was not exactly the most solid of arguments, but as a society built on magic Fichina took prophecies and omens very seriously, so accepted Cherry's warning as truth and reluctantly but respectfully agreed to stay out of the way. That didn't keep them from prepping their military mages and having them ready to move out at a moment's notice, of course. You know, just in case.

The people of Fichina believed in the Duchess. For centuries, she had proven herself capable of handling some of the worst things the world could throw at her, especially from her archnemesis Bellum. And she had already managed to defeat Bellum's latest and possibly deadliest plot yet, so surely she would prevail today as well, right? Surely…

And so they waited, and prayed, and hoped that Cherry's prediction was as spot-on as it usually was. It was rather unfortunate that none of them knew about Tarantulas' tachyon-based prophecy-scrambling technology, or they might have moved out hours ago to provide some much-needed assistance. Then again, they might have gotten themselves killed, since it was doubtful that any of them could handle a force as powerful as _four_ corrupted deities, no matter how strong they were.

There was only one Pokémon in the vicinity capable of defeating such a threat…and he was already racing towards the battle as quickly as possible, praying that he would not be too late…

…

Inside the luggage car of the Enchanted Express…

"Can't this thing go any faster?" Ash shouted, wrapping one arm around Tiny and gripping his staff, which he had wedged between some crates to anchor himself, as the car rattled and shook and occasionally turned upside-down to dodge the enemy fire lobbed at them by the warships surrounding them, as well as lethal bolts of fire and ice and lightning from the massive storm raging all around them.

"We're already going as fast as we can safely go!" Fantina, who was operating the car's controls to manually pilot the vehicle, shouted, grimacing as several hundred missiles impacted against the car's shields, which, even with her own formidable magic bolstering them, were starting to lose power. "Any faster, and it would be nearly impossible to steer zis zing wizout crashing into somezing!"

"I think this car could take a few solid impacts and keep going," Todd said, his talons digging into some straps hanging from the ceiling to support himself. "If anything, I bet whatever we ran into would be the worse for wear!"

"Per'aps so, but I'm not certain zat we would fair 'alf as well," Fantina said. The next impact from the enemy cannons, which was strong enough to flip the car ninety degrees and cause some of the luggage containers to break free from their restraints and smash into whatever was closest to them with rather jarring impacts—some of which involved explosions of magical power and bursts of smoke and fire—seemed to prove her point. A suitcase popped open and showered the Happy husk that they'd strapped down in a corner to keep it secure in expensive jewelry, but the automaton didn't seem to notice.

"A lot of dangerous stuff in here," Ritchie said anxiously as he stared at the pile of ashes that had been the crate that had crashed into the wall right next to him.

"Well, this is a train that's used by some of the world's wealthiest and most powerful mages, it's only understandable that they might carry some rather…unusual cargo," Palmer said uneasily as he looked at a suitcase that was rattling and growling ominously.

"And expensive," Todd said, wincing as a very elaborate vase fell off a shelf and shattered into a million pieces as well as releasing several dozen wailing spirits which flew wildly through the air before disappearing. "We're not going to get billed for any of this damage, are we?"

"If you are, I'll pay off whatever you owe," Fantina said, not taking her eyes off the crystal display showing her the airspace around the car so she could steer the vehicle around the many obstacles blocking their path through the storm. "I 'ave more zan enough money, it shouldn't be a problem."

"Oh! That's very nice of you," the relieved Aerodactyl said, cheering up at this.

"Just how rich _are_ you, anyway?" asked an amazed Tiny. Fantina told him how much Poké, roughly, she was worth. The Pupitar considered this for a moment. "…I can't imagine a number that big," he complained.

"Me neither," Ash said, looking embarrassed. "That's…a lot of money."

"Well, dear, when you live as long as I do, you tend to accumulate a lot of wealth over time," Fantina said casually, as if the money was of no consequence to her whatsoever. Maybe it wasn't.

"Hmm, I suppose that means I'll get a chance to accumulate that much money now that I'm dead," Rebecca commented, the constant shifts and twists not bothering her due to the fact that she was unaffected by gravity, and most of the luggage that got tossed about just passed through her anyway.

"Yeah, but you've got a lot of catching up to do, since she has several hundred years' worth of a head start," Cherry said. "As do I, of course, but I'll close that gap faster by using my foresight to make lots of money off the stock market."

"…Isn't that illegal?" Rebecca asked, looking shocked.

"Only if I get caught," Cherry said.

"But I thought it was unethical and against the rules for you to use your powers like that!" Rebecca said incredulously.

"What? Don't be silly. Where'd you hear something like that?" Cherry asked in surprise.

"I…I dunno, I just, you know, assumed, since you're always talking about how you need to be responsible with your abilities and all…" Rebecca said.

"I am being responsible. I'm responsibly using my powers to keep a roof over my head," Cherry said. "After all, I can't use my powers to help anyone if I can't take proper care of myself, now can I?"

Rebecca sweatdropped. "Something about that doesn't seem quite right somehow…"

"Hey, a girl's gotta eat," Cherry said. "Or used to, anyway. Guess I don't need to now…"

"I'd still like to eat, if I can," the Gastly floating next to her said. "I like eating!"

"Yes, its fun, isn't it?" Cherry agreed.

"Yeah, it…wait, where the Abyss did you come from?" Rebecca cried at the Gastly, startled by its abrupt appearance.

"Oh, I'm the ghost of Cherry's tail," the Gastly said.

"…Huh. I wasn't aware your tail had a soul," the disturbed Rebecca said.

"Well, it's kind of an offshoot of mine, which counts. Sort of," Cherry said.

"Ah," said Rebecca. "So…why hasn't it shown up before now?"

"Oh, I've been here all along, but I didn't feel like saying anything until now so you didn't notice me," the Gastly said.

Rebecca sweatdropped. "Right…"

The car flipped one hundred eighty degrees as it dodged another massive volley of attacks, slamming everyone against the luggage containers as they struggled to maintain their grip, getting battered by more loose items in the process. This was most unfortunate in Todd's case, because several of the corpses of Denchu's children fell on top of him. "Ack! Get them off! Get them off!" he screamed. The car groaned and flipped back over, causing the dead bodies to fall off. "Ah, much better."

"Get them off! Get them off!" Cruise, who was now covered in dead spiders, shrieked.

"Why exactly didn't we bother throwing those out the door earlier?" Rebecca wondered, grimacing as the car shook from another impact. "Or at the very least just tied them down somewhere so they wouldn't get in the way?"

"Because I didn't foresee us doing so," Cherry said.

Rebecca rolled her eyes. "Ah. Right. Suuuure you didn't."

"Daddy, I think I'm going to be sick…" Tiny moaned.

"Uh, Fantina, not to bother you, but I don't suppose you can make this a little…smoother?" Ash asked nervously.

"Do you want to get zere in time to save your friends?" the Mismagius asked crisply.

"Yes," Ash said.

"Zen ze answer is no," Fantina replied.

Ash sighed. "Of course…"

"Daddy…" Tiny moaned, turning green.

"Um…" Thinking quickly, Ash opened a suitcase at random and shoved Tiny's face into it. "Here, you can throw up in there."

"But there's all sorts of really expensive-looking clothes in here," the Pupitar said.

"Don't worry, Fantina will reimburse us for everything," Ash said.

"Assuming Silvia doesn't murder you first for throwing up all over her finest dresses," Cherry said.

"…Hmm. Good point. Er, I don't suppose you could tell me…" Ash asked.

"That one should suffice," Cherry said, pointing at a different suitcase. Tiny quickly flew over to it, opened it up, and proceeded to upchuck all over its interior.

"Can I use that too?" a blood-spattered Cruise asked weakly.

"Sure," a relieved Tiny said, floating aside so Cruise could use the makeshift barf bag.

"Who's is that, anyway?" Ritchie asked.

"Oh, nobody important," Cherry said.

"…Hey, wait a minute! That's _my_ suitcase!" Todd cried.

"Like I said, nobody important," Cherry repeated. Todd groaned.

"Fantina, I thought these cars were supposed to have some sort of gravity spells to keep their contents and passengers level if they should get overturned or knocked off the rails," Palmer said as another impact violently shook the car.

"Zey do," Fantina said.

"…So, why aren't they working?" the Dragonite asked.

"I 'ad to deactivate zem to reroute more power to ze shields," Fantina replied as she continued operating the controls. "It may mean a bit more discomfort, but it also keeps us in one piece." She paled as she saw something approaching them on the display. "And I zink we're going to need every last ounce of zat power in just a moment."

"Huh? Why?" Ash asked.

"You might want to look out the window in approximately five point seven seconds," Cherry said.

They looked out the window. "I don't see anything," Cruise complained.

"That's because you looked at three point two seconds, not five point seven," Cherry said, sounding annoyed. "It should show up right about…now."

And then they saw it. "Oh crap," Todd whispered, going pale with horror.

"That's not good," Ritchie muttered.

"Hmm. I should have known Doctor Tarantulas wouldn't let us get away so easily," Palmer said.

The indomitable Arachnoblast was coming right towards them, knocking away any ship too slow to get out of the way in time with its massive legs or simply obliterating them with its powerful weaponry to save time and clear a space between the mobile fortress and the fleeing luggage car. "AAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSHHHHHHH!" the Doctor's voice boomed from the giant robot spider's bobbing head. "YOU AREN'T GETTING AVAY ZAT EASILY!"

"Crap," Ash said. He sighed. "You know, all this stuff with the villains being utterly obsessed with me is getting really old…Ritchie, do your enemies have this same unnerving fixation on you?"

"Other than the fact that I have some of the Plates vital to their evil plans and a few of them want revenge for me beating them repeatedly, no, not really," Ritchie said. "Although Light of Justice seems to think that we should be the best of friends and fighting on the same side for some reason."

"What, really?" Ash asked in surprise.

"Yeah, Zippo says that lots of misguided villains who think they're actually good guys have that sort of relationship with the real heroes for some reason," Ritchie said. "Though whether or not those feelings are reciprocated varies."

"Yeah, that sounds like something Leo would say, too," Ash said. "So are they reciprocated, in this case?"

"Well, the guy's actually fairly decent, I'll give him that…you know, when he isn't trying to take over the world and kill hundreds of people to 'save them,'" Ritchie said.

"Ah," Ash said. "Well, that's not a problem with my archnemesis. Though…there _is_ something going on between us, and it's certainly not friendship…"

"Why are you guys talking about this now? We're being chased by a giant robot spider!" Todd screamed. "…Which would probably make for some good photos if the weather outside didn't make any attempt at taking pictures almost completely useless! Hmm, though I guess I could try anyway…" He looked out the window and took a picture of the approaching Arachnoblast. He ripped it off his tongue as it developed and frowned at it in distaste. "No, too dark, can't see a thing…waste of time," he grumbled, tossing the photo away. The Gastly ate it.

"Why did you eat that?" Rebecca asked.

"I wanted to see what it tasted like," the Gastly said.

Cherry nodded. "Even before he died, he always liked to eat things he probably shouldn't have…oh well, at least we don't share the same digestive tract anymore. That's a relief."

"Huh. I imagine it would be," Rebecca said.

"Um, shouldn't we be more worried about the giant spider robot right now rather than Cherry's nonexistent digestive tract?" Todd asked.

"Oh yeah, I suppose we should be, shouldn't we?" Palmer said.

"Speaking of which, Fantina, I would highly recommend you make a sharp turn to the right. As in, right now," Cherry said.

"Ah, zanks for ze tip," Fantina said, quickly steering the luggage car to the right just in time to avoid a beam from the Arachnoblast's main cannon that shot right past them, piercing a battleship and causing it to explode spectacularly.

"Yikes," Ash said as he saw the flaming bits of debris from the warship rain down to the sands below. "Er, are our shields strong enough to withstand a blast like that?"

"We can take a few 'its, but not many more zan zat," Fantina said. "So Cherry, if you could please continue 'elping me avoid any more shots like zat last one, I would sincerely appreciate it."

"No problem. I just started my new afterlife, I don't want to shuffle off this immortal coil so soon," Cherry said. "So you might want to go straight up. This very second."

"Right," Fantina said, steering the car sharply upwards and nearly flinging everyone affected by gravity (which was most of them) to the back of the car.

"Gah! I'm covered in spiders again!" Todd screamed as Denchu's corpse fell on him.

"Trust me, you have it lucky. At least that one's dead," Ash said, shuddering as he remembered once again the feeling of having so many hairy legs crawling over him.

"And there's only one of it," Ritchie added. "Though it is a bit of a big one, granted."

"I don't care how big it is or whether or not there's more than one of it, all I know is that there's a hairy ugly electric spider bleeding all over me and I want it off!" Todd shouted. Abruptly Fantina shifted directions to avoid another shot from the Arachnoblast, causing Denchu's husk to slide off of him. "Ah, that's better."

"That's a matter of debate," Ritchie's muffled voice came from underneath Denchu's body, which had landed on top of him.

"Daddy, I think I'm going to be sick again," Tiny moaned.

"Do it in the suitcase, Tiny," Ash said.

"The suitcase is full," Cruise, who'd just used it himself, said apologetically.

"Oh, come on!" Todd moaned.

"Sorry," the Pupitar whimpered.

"Don't worry, there wasn't anything important in there," Cherry said.

"Not important? It was my stuff!" Todd snapped.

"By which you mean your 'adult' magazines and inappropriate pictures you've been taking of everyone else when they're not looking?" Cherry asked.

Todd flushed. "Er…well, um…"

"Wait, you've been doing _what_ now?" Fantina shouted, taking her attention away from the controls for a split second and causing them to crash into a fighter. The jet came away from the impact with more damage than the car—rather, it didn't come away at all—but the collision was very violent, and they nearly got struck by another beam from the Arachnoblast, so the Mismagius frantically regained control of the car and got them back on track while everyone else struggled to pick themselves back up.

"Hey, do you have any idea how little my salary goes towards paying for my apartment and photography equipment? To make ends meet, I have no choice but to occasionally take somewhat…risqué photographs of celebrities and sell them to less-than-savory sources," Todd said Mareepishly.

"…That's horrible," said a disgusted Ash.

"Hey, a guy's gotta put food on the table! And besides, none of you seemed too choked up about Cherry abusing her divination powers to play the stock market!" Todd argued.

"Actually, I was, and still am," Rebecca said.

"Oh. Well…look, technically what I'm doing is morally reprehensible, but she's much worse! I'm just being a voyeur, she's committing white-collar crimes that are cheating people out of millions of Poké!" Todd said.

"No I'm not," Cherry said.

"You're not?" Todd asked.

"No, of course not. I would never use my powers to hurt innocent people. I manipulate the stocks in a way that benefits me without hurting the average consumer," Cherry said.

"Oh," Todd said. "Well. Okay then."

"Would any of ze pictures you've been taking 'appen to be of my daughter or myself?" Fantina asked icily.

"…Is there any way I can answer that question that won't result in me being set on fire?" Todd asked timidly. Fantina's eyes flashed, and suddenly Todd was on fire. "Yeah, that's what I thought," he said before screaming and flailing about frantically.

Palmer put Todd out with a Blizzard. "Fantina, it might not be a good idea to set someone on fire in a crowded room full of potentially combustible and extremely sensitive materials," the Dragonite said.

"Hmm, I suppose you're right, especially since ze fire-retardants spells are off," Fantina mused as the extremely cold Todd shivered and hugged his wings around himself.

"Why are the fire-retardant spells off?" Ash asked in concern.

"To-" Fantina started.

"Wait, don't tell me, you rerouted their power to the shields?" Ritchie asked. Fantina nodded. The Lucario sighed. "Of course…"

"Um, I still need something to throw up in," an increasingly green Tiny said timidly.

"Use that suitcase over there," Cherry said, pointing to another suitcase. Tiny eagerly flew over to it and made immediate use of it.

"I don't suppose that was another one of mine, was it?" Todd asked morosely.

"No, it was one of the security personnel's," Cherry said. Todd sighed in relief.

"That doesn't seem particularly fair, considering they're risking their lives to protect us," Ash said with a frown.

"Isn't it more the other way around, since we're doing most of the fighting and they're spending most of the battle inside the train?" Ritchie asked.

"…Well, okay, but they're PAID to protect us. And provide security and stuff. Even if, um, they aren't quite as suited for it as we are. So it seems sort of disrespectful to do that to their stuff," Ash said.

"Don't worry, there was nothing in there but issues of several of the magazines Todd sells photos to on the side," Cherry said.

Fantina again glanced away from the controls, which resulted in the luggage car clipping the bridge of one of the Nihilator battleships, which exploded as the Arachnoblast fired upon it. "Did any of zem 'ave pictures of me or my daughters in zem?" she asked coldly, apparently unaware of all the chaos happening outside.

"No, but there were pictures of me in there," Cherry said sourly. "Which were taken without my permission, and I never got paid for."

"What, you didn't foresee that someone was going to take them?" Rebecca asked.

"I did, but I also saw I wouldn't get paid for them, and while I could have changed the future that always gives me a migraine so I instead set a long-term scheme in motion to get my revenge. Letting the kids throw up all over Todd's stuff is merely one phase of this grand plan of vengeance," Cherry explained.

"Gee, thanks," Todd grumbled.

"Can I get in on zat?" Fantina asked.

"Sure, the more the merrier," Cherry said. "Oh, and I would recommend we make a fifty degree right turn in…six seconds."

Fantina immediately swerved to the right, causing them to dodge the next beam from the Arachnoblast but also crash right into a group of missiles rocketing up at them from the ships around them. "I said _six seconds_, not right away," Cherry said in exasperation. "Does nobody have the slightest idea how to tell time around here?"

"Sorry," Fantina apologized as she righted the car, which had been knocked on its side by the last impact.

Palmer sighed. "At this rate, we're never going to get there…"

"Oh, we will," Cherry said. "But not for another several minutes."

"Figures," Palmer grunted.

"Daddy, I think I need to throw up again," Tiny moaned.

"Already?" Ash asked incredulously.

"How are you even getting motion sickness? You're floating about like we are, all this chaos shouldn't be affecting you," Rebecca said.

"I guess, but all the shaking and tossing about makes me nervous," Tiny said. "Which makes me worried, which upsets my stomach, which makes me…well, you know."

"Me too," Cruise said.

"Not me!" the Gastly said.

"We don't care," Rebecca said. The new Ghost pouted.

"I hope the others can hold out until we get there…" Ritchie murmured as the Pupitars took turns retching into another supposedly inconsequential suitcase.

"They will," Cherry said.

"Oh, good," Ritchie said in relief.

"Most of them, anyway," Cherry said.

Ritchie paled. "Ah…"

As the car continued chugging through the dark and the storm, the Arachnoblast relentlessly pursued them, periodically firing its Wave Beam Cannon and other armaments at the escaping target, not caring how many Nihilator ships got blown up in the process. "Gah! Vhy can't ve hit zem?" Doctor Tarantulas, who had calmed down somewhat after a new anger chip had been installed in his cranium at the cost of the lives of several dozen Nihilators nobody really cared about. "It's just a stupid magical train car! Vhy haven't ve knocked it out of ze skies yet?"

"Due to its scrambling field, we're unable to lock onto it with any of our weapons or tractor beam," one of the new bridge techs—all of the previous ones having been devoured by Tarantulas' robot spiders—reported. "It's also a smaller target and surprisingly maneuverable for a train car. You know, what with it being able to move through the air and generate its own tracks and all."

"Additionally, the bizarre weather formation created by the legendary birds is disrupting our sensors, making it harder to see anything through the storm," another said.

Tarantulas sighed in exasperation. "I _know_ zat, it vas a rhetorical…oh, never mind, vhy do I bozzer trying to explain anyzing to you idiots? Mein genius is vasted on you _dummkopfs_!"

The operators gave him confused looks. "Were you calling us 'dumb Koffings,' sir?" one of the Nihilators ventured cautiously. "None of us are Koffing, though I have a cousin stationed in Afrikku who's one."

"And I'm a Grimer," a Grimer said helpfully.

Another Nihilator nodded. "Yes, he is. Oh! Was that supposed to be an insult regarding our hygiene or body odor or something like that? Because if so, I'm fairly certain Lieutenant Viers or your assistant has far worse problems in that regard."

"That is right. My stench is as mighty as my muscles," Viers said proudly. "And my muscles are as mighty as my stench. And I am very mighty. So I am very…stenchy?"

"That is not being a word, but Chobin is not caring very much because Chobin are liking making up words of pretend and make-believe all of the timing!" Chobin said excitedly.

"Then stenchy I am!" Viers declared.

"As is Chobin! Doctor made Chobin go potty before Chobin was put in the ball of spherical roundness and rolling funtime joy and laughter and squishing Pokémon, but Chobin has defecated many times since and rolled around in his own filth until he's covered in fecal material of poopiness. It's a wonder Chobin hasn't choked on his own disgusting smell yet!" the Sunflora said cheerfully. Then he started turning green and coughing. "Oh, wait, I think my air's run out…"

"Dammit, Chobin…" Tarantulas groaned, firing a laser from his eye that pierced the side of Chobin's sphere to make a small hole, quickly pushing the ball away from him before too much of the noxious odor inside could get out so he didn't have to smell it.

"Awwww, Chobin was hoping to suffocate," Chobin complained, pouting and sitting on the bottom of his ball with his leaves crossed.

The Nihilators started coughing as Chobin's scent started leaking into the room. "Oh, Ruler of Evil that's bad," one of the operators said, his eyes watering.

"Too much even for me!" the Grimer said.

"Can somebody open a window?" a Nihilator asked.

"Okay," another Nihilator said, cracking open a porthole. Instantly the bridge was bombarded with tremendously loud thunderclaps, gusts of wind, torrents of rain and sleet and fireballs, and even a few pieces of debris swept up by the storm. As everyone on the bridge flailed in alarm, the Nihilator quickly closed the porthole, shutting out the bad weather. "Er, oops?" he said weakly when his drenched crewmates glared at him.

"Why did we have a window that could open there in the first place?" one of the operators said, shaking himself out.

"You're asking me? I'm not the one who designed this thing," one of his coworkers, rather miffed that his colleague had just covered him in even more water, grumbled. Everyone very conspicuously tried not to look at Doctor Tarantulas.

The madmon, trying to divert everyone's attention from his gaffe, immediately latched onto someone to take the blame. "Viers, eat ze fool who opened ze vindow!" Tarantulas ordered angrily as a miniature windshield wiper cleaned the water off his mechanical eye.

"Okay," Viers said, advancing on the Nihilator in question, who ran for his life.

"Ooh, can Chobin get some of that?" Chobin asked hopefully.

"No," Tarantulas said.

"Awwww," Chobin complained.

"Now, vill someone turn up ze air freshener, please? Ah, zank you," Tarantulas said as the whirring of fans grew louder in the background and the unpleasant smell in the air faded away. "Now…vhere vere ve before zat moment of pure idiocy?"

"Trying to hit the escaping train car?" one of the Nihilators ventured.

"Eating?" Viers said as he picked his teeth with a bone from the Nihilator he'd just eaten.

"Rolling and rolling and rolling and rolling and rolling and rolling and…ooh…Chobin is getting dizzy…" Chobin moaned as he rolled wildly around the room.

"Ze first one," Tarantulas said. "Keep shooting at it!"

They did. "We're still not hitting it, sir," one of the Nihilators reported.

"I can see zat!" Tarantulas snapped. "Hmm…ah! I am having a brilliant idea. Have one of ze big ships move right in front of ze car!"

"Ah, brilliant sir, that'll cut them off!" one of the Nihilators said as the order was rallied and one of the largest battleships in the fleet ponderously moved into position.

"But wait, couldn't they just go over it? Or around it?" another Nihilator asked.

"Not if ve don't give zem ze chance! Once ze ship has blocked zeir pazh, fire ze Wave Beam Cannon at it!" Tarantulas ordered.

"The car?" a Nihilator asked.

"No, at ze battleship!" Tarantulas said. There was a pause. Nothing happened. "Vell? Vat are you vaiting for?" he demanded angrily.

"Er, just to be clear, were you being sarcastic just a second ago, sir, or did you actually mean for us to shoot at the ship?" someone asked.

Tarantulas frowned. "Vhat? Vhy vould you zink zat?"

"Well, I mean, usually when someone says something like that, they're being sarcastic in response to a question whose answer should be completely obvious, so I just wanted to make sure that was your actual order and you weren't just making some sarcastic retort that one of us might misinterpret and lead to our carrying out an incorrect order, leading to an immediate execution," the Nihilator said.

Tarantulas nodded, impressed at the operators' reasoning despite himself. "Ah. Good zinking, but completely unnecessary. I vas not being sarcastic. I actually vant you to fire ze main cannon at ze ship and destroy it completely!"

The Nihilators gasped. "But sir, that's one of our own!" someone spoke up.

Tarantulas gave him a blank look. "Ja, so?"

The Nihilator who had protested thought about this for a moment. "Eh, I got nothing."

"The ship is almost in position, sir!" a Nihilator reported. "Should we tell them what we're about to do?"

"Nein, zey'll find out in a minute anyvay," Tarantulas said.

On the luggage car, the Pokémon looked at the massive battleship moving into place directly in front of them, leveling its equally mighty cannons at them and preparing to fire. "Um, Fantina, is there a reason we're barreling right towards that thing?" Ash asked anxiously. "Instead of, you know, steering around or over or under it?"

"Cherry said not to," Fantina said uneasily. "And while I admit it sort of goes against my instincts, she's steered us right so far, so…"

"That's right, I have," Cherry said. "Turn left in EXACTLY two seconds. And brace yourselves."

"Why?" Palmer asked.

"You'll see soon enough," Cherry said enigmatically.

Rebecca sighed. "I hate it when you do that."

"I don't! Mainly because I know what's going to happen too," the Gastly said cheerfully.

"You do?" Ash asked.

"Well, sure, we shared a body, so it's perfectly reasonable that I can see the same things she does," the Gastly said. "Though since she's the oracle and I'm just the tagalong, I don't have half as much control over the visions as she does."

"Oh. Neat," Ash said.

"Yes, aside from the fact that I've constantly got his voice nagging me at the back of my head, begging me to feed him," Cherry complained.

"Which won't be nearly as much of a problem now, since I can feed myself," the Gastly said, licking his lips as he looked around the luggage car. "Hmm…what shall I have for my first full meal as my own being?" He stared for an uncomfortably long time at Todd.

The Aerodactyl gulped. "Why is he looking at me like that?"

"Because he's hungry," Cherry said.

"Yeah, that's not exactly helping matters," Todd squeaked in terror.

"Shouldn't we have turned by now?" Ritchie spoke up.

Fantina blinked. "What? Oh, _merde!_" She quickly veered to the left before they could crash into the ship right in front of them.

"I _told_ you to do it in EXACTLY two seconds," Cherry scolded as everyone was slammed into the side of the car. "Remember what I said about bracing yourselves, things are about to get rather…violent."

"Violent enough to make us throw up again?" Cruise asked timidly.

"Most definitely," Cherry said. The Pupitars moaned.

"How can they still have anything left to throw up?" Todd wondered. "I mean, it's not like they've had anything to eat since dinner last night, since you guys got abducted before breakfast."

"These kids of ours have very big stomachs, trust me," Ritchie said.

Ash nodded. "As well as a surprisingly high tolerance for alcohol."

"…You let your kids drink alcohol?" Todd asked incredulously.

"No, they just do it anyway," Ritchie said resignedly.

"And a good thing too, because it helped me to defeat an undead pirate in a drinking contest!" Tiny said proudly.

"…What, you too?" Cruise asked in surprise. "That's how we beat the guy who was holding onto the Splash Plate…"

Tiny blinked. "Seriously?"

"Yeah…weird…" Cruise murmured. "And he was an undead pirate too!"

"Whoa…I didn't even know there were that many out there!" Tiny said in surprise.

"Well, Leo did say they're more common than you'd think," Ash admitted.

"Really? So did Zippo," Ritchie said.

"Why does that not surprise me?" Ash said, once again rather spooked by how eerily similar the experiences of their two teams were.

"So, when are things supposed to get violent, exactly?" Todd asked anxiously.

"Now," said Cherry.

"FIRE!" shouted Tarantulas.

The Arachnoblast fired, the energy beam streaking past the luggage car and striking the battleship, piercing its fuel tanks and causing it to erupt in a spectacular conflagration that vaporized the vessel completely and buffeted the car, sending it flinging end over end, its glowing tracks spiraling wildly in a corkscrew as it flew out of control.

"WAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Tiny, Cruise, and Todd all screamed as they were flung all over the car, bashing into each other and the cargo repeatedly. Todd came off rather the worse the wear from this, naturally, since he didn't have the armored carapaces the two Pupitars did, meaning it hurt that much more when they slammed into him. Repeatedly. And he was the only one to suffer in this way, since Ash and Ritchie were able to keep their grips due to their superior strength, Palmer seemed to have unshakable balance, Rebecca and Cherry and the Gastly were floating serenely, and Fantina was frantically working at the control panel, trying to stop their wild descent.

"Aaaaagghhh! Aaaaaagggghhhh! Is this part of your revenge too, you crazy bitch?" Todd screamed as first Tiny, and then Cruise, then a rather large sharp-edged box slammed into his groin. And then the Pupitars threw up all over him.

"No, this is just a side benefit," Cherry said calmly.

"Cherry! Why didn't you tell us zis was going to 'appen? We trusted you!" Fantina cried as she desperately tried to regain control.

"I did. I told you exactly when to turn so we could have rode the shockwave from the blast and avoided the worst of the explosion. You didn't listen," Cherry said flatly.

"…Oh. Er…oopsie," Fantina said, embarrassed.

"Are we gonna die?" Tiny cried.

"We're gonna die!" Cruise screamed.

"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" Todd shouted.

"No we're not!" Rebecca snapped. "Er, we're not, are we?"

"Nope," Cherry said.

"There, you see?" the Frillish said, trying to hide her relief. "We're not going to die."

"Although we might if something very specific doesn't happen in the next thirty seconds," Cherry said. "Fortunately, I'm fairly certain it will."

"…Ah," Rebecca said, trying to hide her worry.

"Gee, that's reassuring," Ritchie said sarcastically.

"There isn't anything you can tell us that will actually, you know, help?" Ash asked.

"Hey, I just tell the future. There's a lot going on outside, some of it things we can't affect that can still effect us," Cherry said. "Fortunately, not all of those things going on are bad, which is why we should be saved very soon."

"Oh, okay," Ash said.

"Well, if somezing's going to 'appen, it 'ad better be soon," Fantina said anxiously as she looked out the window. "Zat contraption is about to fire again, and in our current condition I don't zink we can dodge it!"

"Can we withstand a direct hit from that thing's main cannon?" Palmer asked.

"Normally, we might be able to, but zat last explosion did a number on us," Fantina said anxiously. "I'm not positive our shields will survive if it 'its us…"

"Oh," Palmer said.

"Then we'll just teleport out of here before it hits us!" Todd said quickly. Fantina bit her lip uneasily at that suggestion.

"Can't," Cherry said. "The interference caused by all the magic from the luggage would mess up any attempt to do so and either send us to another dimension or shred our molecules across the cosmos." Fantina quietly let out a breath she hadn't actually needed to hold, glad to dodge that bullet. Now they just had to worry about the incredibly powerful energy beam that was about to obliterate them.

On second thought, having to explain why teleporting wasn't an option for her might have been a little less problematic, if more humiliating…

"Then we're gonna die?" Todd screamed.

"No, we'll be fine," Cherry said. "We'll be saved in about…five…four…three…"

"That explosion seems to have done the job, Doctor. It looks as if they've lost all control of their flight-" one of the Nihilators in the Arachnoblast control center started.

"Running," Viers corrected. "Like a nose that is stuffy from a cold, if that nose had legs and jumped off its face and walked away. If it flew, it would not be on rails. Trains run on rails. Planes do not. If they ran on rails, they would not be planes, they would be trains, just as trains would be cars if they ran off of rails and cars would be planes if they could fly. Which they cannot. Just like trains. Trains cannot fly. That is a train. Therefore, it is not flying. It is running."

There was a long pause. Tarantulas facepalmed. "Um…right. It looks as if they've lost all control of their, ah, locomotive capabilities—heh, I made a little pun there, see, since it's part of a train, which is also known as a locomotive, and-" the Nihilator said.

"Get to ze point before I have Viers eat you," Tarantulas said.

The Nihilator gulped. "Um, right. They're wide open and there's no way they can evade us in their present state. They're dropping steadily, and even though we can't lock onto them we still have an eighty-seven point nine one six two five percent chance of hitting them if we aim carefully assuming they continue on their present heading, which it looks so far like they will, if the last few seconds are anything to go by."

"Excellent! Fire at vill!" Tarantulas commanded eagerly. "By vhich I mean fire at ze car, and not at anybody named Vill! Er, do ve have anybody named Vill up here?" One of the Nihilators raised his hand. "Right, nobody fire anyzing at zat guy!" The other Nihilators nodded, and Will sighed in relief.

"Right away, sir!" the Nihilators said, powering up the main cannon.

"Yaaaay! Train car fall down and go boom!" Chobin cheered, flinging himself to the bottom of his sphere. He frowned when he didn't explode. "Awwww, Chobin was wanting to fall down and go kaboomy like a bomb that is exploding due to being an explosive device, or a Pokémon that are being naturally capable of exploding like a bomb that is exploding due to being an explosive device like an Electrode, or a Geodude, or a Skuntank, or that incredibly badass and hardcore heavy metal killing machine that is being Captain Thaddeus Irving Briney our sworn enemy who has killed more of our kind than Chobin has yet to kill so far and so Chobin is deeply envious of him for killing more of our kind than Chobin has yet to kill so far because Chobin likes killing our own kind, or someone Chobin has force-fed a stick of dynamite which is being delicious like licorice except that it is exploding in your stomach like a bomb that is exploding due to being an explosive device-which it is-rather than exploding in your stomach with flavor, like you would if it were a stick of licorice, rather than a stick of dynamite."

"I ate a stick of dynamite once because I thought it was licorice," Viers grunted. "And it exploded in my stomach like a bomb that was exploding due to being an explosive device—which it is—rather than exploding in my stomach with flavor, like I would have if it were a stick of licorice, rather than a stick of dynamite."

"...Seriously? Zen vhy aren't you dead?" asked an incredulous Tarantulas.

"My stomach is made of iron!" Viers boasted. "Literally. Before I joined the Nihilators in the pursuit of greater evil, I was a gourmand. I traveled the world, eating. And eating. And eating. And eating. And eating. And eating. And eating. And eating. And eating. And eating some more. And crushing Pokémon I did not like. And eating them too. Unless they tasted bad. Then I spat them out. And stomped on them a bit. And went to eat something else. Because fighting makes me hungry. And when I am hungry I must eat. And then I have enough strength to fight, until I am finished fighting, and then I need to eat some more, so I have enough strength to fight, until I am finished fighting, and then I need to eat some more, so I have enough strength to-"

"Vat does zis have to do viz you having an iron stomach?" Tarantulas shouted.

"One day, some fool who was foolish because he was a fool tried to poison me in retribution for killing and devouring a friend of his who was also a fool who was foolish because he was a fool but tasted pretty good going down, especially after I tenderized him properly—with my FISTS—and applied the proper seasoning," Viers said.

"Ooh, what seasoning did you use?" Chobin asked.

"Marinara sauce with a dash of garlic and oregano," Viers said.

"Yummy!" Chobin said, licking his lips. Some of the other Nihilators nodded in agreement, thinking that did sound pretty good.

"Ze stomach?" Tarantulas asked, losing his patience.

"Hmm? Oh, yes. So the fool who was a foolish fool tried to poison me as retribution for killing his friend who was also a foolish fool. But it failed, because Viers can eat ANYTHING, even deadly poison, because Viers is a gourmand, and gourmands can eat ANYTHING, even deadly poison! Whether they survive is another story, but Viers survived because he is Viers, and not an ordinary gourmand! And I beat him and crushed him and smashed him and ate him then spat him out then ate him again then spat him out again then ate him again then threw up violently and passed out because the poison was stronger than I thought, but not strong enough to kill me, because I am Viers and not an ordinary gourmand, so can eat ANYTHING, even deadly poison, because Viers is a gourmand, and gourmands can eat ANYTHING, even deadly poison!" Viers rambled.

"Ooh! Doctor, Doctor, can Chobin be a gourmand? It is sounding like so much delicious fun, getting to eat ANYTHING, even deadly poison!" Chobin squealed.

"Chobin, you already eat ANYZING, even deadly poison," Tarantulas pointed out.

"Yes, but I'm not doing it as a _gourmand!_" Chobin said. Tarantulas rolled his eyes.

"When I woke up I dragged myself to a Pokémon Center, where the Nurse Joy pumped my stomach to remove the poison. But my stomach was too badly damaged by all the poison, so she had to remove it and grow me a new one, an act of kindness which I repaid her for by making her my first meal," Viers continued.

"You ate a Nurse Joy? Ooooh! Even Chobin has not had a chance to do that! Or rape one!" Chobin gasped, awestruck. "What did she taste like?"

Viers thought about this for a moment. "Scrambled eggs."

"Chobin loves scrambled eggs! They're so…scrambled! Like Chobin's brain!" Chobin giggled giddily. "And it warms Chobin's heart to think of the lives that will never be born because Chobin smashed their eggs and ate the developing fetuses inside, destroying whatever bright and shiny futures they might have had and making sure that the only place they'll go is into Chobin's tummy, then into Chobin's ass, and then into Chobin's potty, then back into Chobin's tummy!"

Viers blinked. "Are not most eggs used for dishes sterile and devoid of life?"

"Not ze ones Chobin eats," Tarantulas said.

"Ah. That is making sense," Viers said ponderously.

"So, vhy exactly did you eat Nurse Joy?" Tarantulas asked, knowing he was going to regret the question.

"I was hungry," Viers said. "And had never eaten one before. As a gourmand, it was my duty to try anything, at least once. And I was hungry."

"Chobin is liking that philosophy! Chobin is even taking it a step further, by trying anything more than once, even if it was killing him with painful death and dissolving from within and spontaneous combustion on more than one occasion!" Chobin said.

"Hence why I've had to clone you so many times…" Tarantulas murmured. "Zis is all very interesting, Viers, by vhich I mean it isn't even remotely interesting except in ze vay zat sometimes somezing absolutely revolting and disgusting can inspire some disturbed fascination in bystanders, but vat does any of zis have to do viz you having a stomach zat is literally made of iron?"

Viers blinked. "Hmm? Oh, well, my new stomach was being wonderful. Almost exactly like the last one. In fact, it was being _exactly_ like the last one, since Nurse Joy cloned it from my own flesh. Which was bad."

"Vhy?" Tarantulas asked.

"My old stomach did not protect me from poison. My new stomach was being exactly the same as the old one. My old stomach failed me. My new stomach was my old stomach, pretending to be a new stomach, so it failed me by not being an actual new stomach but an old stomach pretending to be a new stomach. So I had to get a new stomach that was actually a new stomach rather than an old stomach pretending to be a new stomach. So I went to a black market doctor and had him install a metal stomach in my chest so that I could eat ANYTHING, even deadly poison, without dying, and in doing so become the greatest gourmand the world had ever seen because I could eat ANYTHING, even deadly poison, without dying!" Viers declared.

"Oh! That is so inspiring! It makes Chobin's heart soar like a magnificent Togepi that Chobin has tied to a rocket and launched into the sky so that it can explode in a spectacular display of pyrotechnics and blood! Doctor, can Chobin have a stomach made of iron too?" Chobin asked hopefully.

"I am actually considering it, since it might cut down on all ze pointless and stupid vays you kill yourself…except zat it vould mean I'd need to reinstall ze stomach every time you got yourself killed in a pointless and stupid vay completely unrelated to eating, since I can't exactly clone you viz a metal stomach every time I have to bring you back from ze dead," Tarantulas said.

"Awwww," Chobin whined.

"So, viz a stomach like zat, vhy aren't you still a gourmand?" Tarantulas asked Viers.

The Emboar sulked. "They revoked my license because they said that having a literal iron stomach was cheating."

Chobin gasped. "Those fiends!"

"Ah, and you joined ze Nihilators to get revenge on zem?" Tarantulas guessed.

"No, I became a professional wrestler. So that I could crush those weaker than me for a living and be adored by thousands of simple-minded fans," Viers said.

"Oh," said Tarantulas.

"Ooh, Doctor, can Chobin become-" Chobin started.

"No, Chobin. First of all, you'd never pass ze psychological evaluation. Second, you're too scrawny and weak. Zey'd massacre you in ze ring!" Tarantulas said.

"…So?" Chobin asked, not getting it. Tarantulas sighed.

"So, if you became a wrestler, how'd you wind up with us?" one of the Nihilators asked.

Viers sulked. "They kicked me out because I kept eating my competitors."

"Really? I would have thought they'd be okay with that in some circles," a Nihilator said.

"They were," Viers admitted. "But I ate some of my fans too."

"…Oh," the Nihilator said.

"What did they taste like?" Chobin asked.

"Marshmallows," Viers said.

"Mmm…marshmallows…" Chobin drooled.

"Anyvay," Tarantulas said loudly. "You joined ze Nihilators to get revenge on zem?"

"No," Viers said. "I opened a restaurant."

"…A restaurant," Tarantulas said flatly.

"Yes," Viers said. "A five-star restaurant. With each star signifying excellence. Of which I had in great spades. Spades of excellence. Made of solid gold. I hung them on my wall, and used them in my herb garden."

"You had an herb garden?" Chobin asked. "With herbs?"

"Yes," said Viers. "Hence why it is called an herb garden. Because I grew herbs."

"Were there any drugs or hallucinogens?" Chobin asked hopefully.

"No," said Viers.

Chobin scowled. "Well where is being the trippy swirly mushroom samba insane in the membrane fun in that, then?"

"Since you're not in charge of a restaurant anymore, vat happened?" Tarantulas asked.

"At my restaurant, I made lots of dishes. And special dishes. Lots of special dishes. Lots and lots of special dishes. That were very special. Using recipes I'd learned from all over the world, during my time as a gourmand," Viers said fondly. He scowled. "And then I was closed down for health code violations."

"Let me guess, you used actual Pokémon as ingredients for many of your specialized dishes?" Tarantulas guessed.

"Yes, but that's not why I was shut down," Viers said sourly.

Tarantulas blinked. "Really? Zen vhy vere you?"

"I didn't clean my utensils properly," Viers said.

"Oh," Tarantulas said. "And after _that_ you decided to join ze Nihilators to get revenge?"

"No," Viers said. "Then I got married."

There was a long, awkward pause. "Married?" Tarantulas asked after a moment.

"Yes," Viers said. "But then she kicked me out for eating too much. So I decided to join the Nihilators to get revenge!"

"…I see," Tarantulas said slowly. "Vell, zat's…an interesting story…"

"No it wasn't!" Chobin said cheerfully.

"I zought you liked it," said the confused Tarantulas.

Chobin considered this for a moment. "Oh…Doctor is right! Chobin did! Aside from the factamundo that Chobin could not eat any of the Pokémon Viers talked about eating or do any of the jobs Viers did, because they all sounded funfunfunfunfunfun! As would raping his wife."

"Yes. Raping my wife is 'funfunfunfunfunfun,' as you put it," Viers said emotionlessly.

Chobin clapped his leaves gleefully. "Eeeee! You are Chobin's new bestest friend!"

"I zought I vas your bestest friend!" Tarantulas protested in alarm.

"You are still being Chobin's bestest bestest best friend, but Viers is Chobin's new bestest friend who is not quite as best as Doctor but still very good all the same," Chobin explained soothingly.

"…I don't zink zat's ze vay 'best friends' vorks," Tarantulas said dubiously.

"Well, this is what Chobin is thinking of your thinking of how 'best friends' works!" Chobin said, blowing a raspberry before turning around and smacking his rump.

"…Ze sad zing is, zat's actually pretty reserved for you," Tarantulas said wearily.

Viers blinked and furrowed his brow in confusion. Smoke rose from his skull as he started thinking hard, and not just because he didn't use his brain that often. "Bestest friends who are not quite as best as Lord Doctor Tarantulas but still very good all the same? But…Nihilators do not have friends. It is un-Nihilator-ish. But you are a Nihilator. One of our leaders. Well, one of our leaders' most valued subordinates and test subjects You cannot be un-Nihilator-ish. But you have un-Nihilator-ish feelings. But you can't. But you do. But you can't. But you-"

"Didn't ve already have zis discussion?" Tarantulas asked in annoyance.

"You asked me to protect Chobin because it is what you desire, and as your subordinate I should share your desires, so…so…" There was the sound of a teakettle reaching the boiling point as steam shot out of his ears. "If you…are Chobin's bestest best friend…and Chobin is your bestest best friend…and Chobin wants to be my bestest friend who is not quite as best as Lord Doctor Tarantulas but still very good all the same …then…I should be…Chobin's bestest friend who is not quite as best as Lord Doctor Tarantulas but still very good all the same?"

"Eh, sure, vhy not?" Tarantulas said, not really caring.

"Yay!" Chobin squealed gleefully. "This is just what Chobin was hoping for! We are perfect for each other, like two peons in one of the Doctor's cocoon pods! We are thinking so much alike, it is almost as if we are sharing the same twisted and diseased mind, which is impossible unless one of my cerebral hemispheres was removed and surgically implanted into your head, like Doctor did once in an experiment to see if he could create a psychic link between two Pokémon who were not Psychic!"

"Did it create a psychic link between two Pokémon who were not Psychic?" Viers asked.

"No, it drove them insane, which meant it was a complete success anyway!" Chobin said.

"Yes, zat vas a fun day," Tarantulas said fondly. He paused. "…Vhy does it feel like I'm forgetting somezing?"

"Um, Doctor? The escaped train car?" one of the Nihilators said cautiously. "It's, ah, almost fallen out of range…"

Tarantulas' eyes bulged. "…GAAAAAAAAAAHHH! VHAAAAAAAAT? VHY HAVEN'T YOU IDIOTS SHOT IT YET?"

"Er, we can't fire without your orders, sir," the Nihilator said uneasily. "You know, safety protocols and all."

"WHO HAS TIME FOR SAFETY PROTOCOLS VHEN OUR VERY _SOULS_ ARE HANGING IN ZE BALANCE?" Tarantulas screamed, his new anger chip on the verge of shorting out. "FIRE! FIRE! _**!"**_

"Yes, sir!" the Nihilators shouted as they brought up the targeting display on the main screen and primed the cannon. The room started humming as the powerful weapon began charging up, and a targeting reticle focused on the still-plummeting luggage car. The reticle became a little fuzzy and distorted as it passed over the car due to the scrambling field surrounding it, but the Arachnoblast's gunners were good enough marksmons to be able to hit a moving target as small as the magical vehicle in spite of such a handicap.

"Cannon is at full power. Target is in sight. Firing in three…two…er, sir, not to question your orders, but is this okay?" one of the Nihilators said.

"You _are_ questioning my orders, and vhy vould you possibly zink it vouldn't be okay?" Tarantulas snapped, eye twitching as smoke starting wafting from his processors.

"Well, um, that Lucario's a Pokémon of interest to Oblivion's Shadow, so…will he be okay with us vaporizing him?" the Nihilator asked nervously.

Tarantulas nearly blasted his head off, but actually paused a moment to consider this question. "He might not be _completely_ happy viz it," the cyborg admitted. "However, we've got ze soul-catchers up and running full blast, so if he dies, ve'll still get him, even zough it may take a vhile to sort him out from all ze ozzer spirits ve're collecting. Ve may not get him in one piece, but ve'll still get him, and Herr Shadow vill be satisfied viz zat…I zink."

"That's…not reassuring, but okay," the Nihilator said doubtfully.

"Good! Now fire already! I can't imagine vhy zat car hasn't hit ze ground already or regained control by now!" Tarantulas urged.

"Talking is a free action," Viers said.

Tarantulas stared at him blankly. "Vat?"

"Talking is a free action," Viers repeated.

"Vat ze fuck is zat supposed to mean?" Tarantulas shouted.

"Ohhhhh, Chobin is knowing all about that! It is being the phenomenon when-" Chobin started to explain.

"No! No! No more! No more distractions! No more rambling digressions or arguments about incredibly stupid topics! I don't care anymore!" Tarantulas screamed, losing his temper. "Just fire ze cannon! **Fire ze cannon**! _**FIRE! ZE! FUCKING! ARCEUSDAMNED! CANNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!"**_

They fired the cannon. And that might have spelled the end of Ash and his friends if, just a few milliseconds before the beam left the mouth of the Arachnoblast, an energy blast hadn't streaked through the air and smashed into the side of the giant machine's head, causing it to jerk to the side at the last second and completely miss the luggage car, piercing several ships and plowing a deep trench into the ground instead. "Gyah!" Tarantulas cried in alarm as he was bounced around his metal web, his spider robots scurrying in alarm.

"Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!" Chobin squealed as his ball rolled across the room and smashed into the wall. "Ow…hooray! Chobin is bleeding!"

"Hmm. That was most unexpected," Viers said, not sounding particularly upset or perturbed by what had just happened.

Tarantulas, on the other hand, was extremely upset and perturbed. "Vat…vat did zat? Who is responsible for zis!"

"Reverse-tracking the trajectory of the projectile…" one of the Nihilators announced, claws flying at his control panel. A new window opened up on the main screen, showing an exterior view of the Arachnoblast extrapolated from cameras on the hull of the eight-legged fortress and from surrounding battleships. A curved line superimposed itself onto the image, starting at the side of the Arachnoblast's head and terminating midway down the length of one of the fortress's legs. "Huh…that's funny…" the Nihilator murmured. "It came from…us? That doesn't make any sense…"

"Did one of our cannons misfire?" another Nihilator asked in puzzlement.

"Impossible, ve don't even have any weapons mounted zere!" Tarantulas said. "And I should know, I designed zis zing myself?"

"What? Why don't we have cannons there? There should be cannons everywhere!" Chobin said, looking shocked. "Cannons on every joint! Cannons on every surface! Cannons on top of cannons, with cannons on top of them, with cannons on top of them! Oodles and oodles of cannons, cannons everywhere!"

"…Zat's a bit excessive, don't you zink?" Tarantulas said skeptically.

"Nope!" Chobin said.

Viers nodded in agreement. "There can never be enough dakka."

Tarantulas gave him a confused look. "'Dakka?' Vat is zat?"

"Oh, oh! Chobin knows! It's the term for-" Chobin started eagerly.

"Never mind, I don't really care," Tarantulas snapped. "Vat I do care about is how ve could be shot at by one of our own legs! Magnify!" The screen zoomed in on the leg, centering on the point where the trajectory line ended. "Magnify again!" It zoomed in further, filling the screen with a massive segment of the leg. "Again!" It zoomed in one last time to reveal…

"Okay, I have no idea vat zat is," Tarantulas said, looking in befuddlement at the large mishappen blur filling the screen.

"Well, our cameras are unable to get a clear picture due to the storm, sir," one of the Nihilators said apologetically. "That's the best resolution we can get."

"Use the enhance button of enhancement!" Chobin said.

"The what now?" the Nihilator asked.

"The enhance button of enhancement!" Chobin repeated.

The Nihilator scratched his head in confusion. "I have no idea what that is."

"You are knowing, the button they are always pushing in movies and crime shows to fix a grainy picture to spot minute details that they can use to break the case!" Chobin explained. He scowled. "They are catching so many serial killers that way, too…those poor mass-murderers, all they wanted to do was go around and gruesomely massacre people in bizarre ways to satisfy their varying psychoses, why are society and the Mon always having to press down on them, and by them Chobin means Chobin, huh?"

"…Uh, we don't have an 'enhance' button," the Nihilator said after a moment.

"What! You don't?" Chobin cried in astonishment.

"Um, no. Cameras don't work that way," the Nihilator said.

"Well, poopy! That won't do! Doctor, invent an 'enhance' button so we can be seeing what that thing that shot at us was, as well as being able to spy on our underlings and see what they are doing in their private time in greater and more lurid detail!" Chobin said.

"Chobin, I don't really zink ve have time for zat right now," the scientist deadpanned.

"Then invent a time-stop device so we are _having_ the time!" Chobin cried, throwing up his leaves in exasperation. "Ruler of Evil, what sort of mad scientist are you being, anyway? Not being able to invent an 'enhance' button or a time-stop device, puh, Chobin was thinking you were better than that, Doctor! Clearly Chobin was being wrong! Viers, now _you_ are now being Chobin's bestest best friend forever and ever, while stupid Tarantulas is being demoted to bestest friend who is not quite as best as Viers but still very good all the same."

"It is an honor and a privilege," Viers said solemnly.

"V-vat? You…you can't do zat!" Tarantulas protested. "I have seniority!"

"Hmmph! Chobin is not talking to you right now!" Chobin declared, turning his back to the Doctor.

"But Chobin-" Tarantulas protested.

"CHOBIN IS NOT TALKING TO YOU RIGHT NOW!" Chobin repeated. "Viers, jump on top of Chobin and run in place so that Chobin can roll around the room and smash into things and Pokémon!"

"Yes Lord Chobin," Viers said, obediently hopping on top of the sphere and starting to run in place, sending the imprisoned Sunflora careening wildly around the room.

"WHEEEEEEEEEE!" Chobin squealed giddily as he bounced around the control center like a pinball.

"Oh, so he's _Lord_ Chobin now, is he?" Tarantulas snarled, eye twitching. "If I didn't have bigger problems to deal viz, I'd kill you myself! But zat vill have to vait. Ve may not have an enhance button, but by running ze camera footage zhrough a series of filters I believe ve can account for ze interference from ze storm and get a better look at vatever zat zing is! I'm activating ze program now," he said, robotic eye flashing as he beamed orders to the Arachnoblast's computers.

Waves of color washed over the image in rapid succession, each one gradually increasing the resolution of the screen and making the picture a little clearer. It took almost a dozen filters before they had something they could actually comprehend. Even then it was grainy and rather blurry, but it was still good enough for them to make out the unmistakable figure of the Decepticon warrior, Outlaw. "Vat ze FUCK?" Tarantulas screamed in astonishment as he stared at the giant robot-which was admittedly much smaller compared to his robot—clinging to the Arachnoblast's leg, climbing up the almost sheer and virtually handhold-free side of the limb without any apparent worry of the height it was at or the very bad weather constantly battering at it and trying to snatch it off of its precarious perch.

"Ooh, neat, a Transformer!" Chobin said somewhat dizzily as Viers paused in rolling him around so he could take a look at the screen. "Chobin was always wanting one of those…Doctor, can you build Chobin a vehicle that transforms into a giant robot?"

"No, Chobin, you know as vell as I do zat anyzing you get behind ze veel of vill inevitably crash and burn in under two minutes," Tarantulas said automatically.

Chobin sulked. "Awwww…"

"How…how did zat zing get on us vizout any of us noticing?" Tarantulas demanded, glaring at his minions, looking for answers and possibly a scapeAbsol.

"It's not appearing on any of our sensors aside from the contact ones on the hull," one of the Nihilators reported, checking his instruments. "It must have some kind of stealth technology that renders it invisible to most of our scanners."

"Why is it not being completely invisible, then?" Chobin asked.

"Sensor-jamming uses less power zan full-on invisibility cloaks," Tarantulas explained. "But ze sensors on ze hull registered it climbing up? Vhy didn't ve notice?"

"Er, actually, according to the sensor log we did," one of the Nihilators said. "In fact, we pointed out several minutes ago that something had hit one of our legs and was slowly making its way up the side, but you were completely insane at that point and by the time you had your new anger chip installed you were too busy ranting and screaming at us to kill Ash for any of us to remember to tell you."

"Oh," Tarantulas said, looking embarrassed. "Yes. Vell…I suppose ve should make up for lost time and correct our error, zan! Electrify ze hull! Knock zat zing off, and zen step on it, to show it who's boss! Vhich is me, just so ve're clear."

"Ooh, it will be ironical punishment of irony that does not involve actual iron or ironing, although it will be involving metal pressing down on something so maybe that is still going to be counting anyway!" Chobin said in delight.  
Viers cocked his head in puzzlement. "How is that being ironical punishment of irony that does not involve actual iron or ironing, although it will be involving metal pressing down on something so maybe that is still going to be counting anyway?"

"A giant robot of much hugeness and destruction and chaos and exploding things built to look like a spider of poison and webs and lots of tasty wiggling legs stepping on a much smaller robot that is being shaped to look like the sort of thing that usually stomps on spiders of poison and webs and lots of tasty wiggling legs," Chobin explained.

Viers looked from Chobin to Doctor Tarantulas in puzzlement. "Anyone who would try to stomp on Doctor Tarantulas would have to be very big. Or strong. Like me. Otherwise it would hurt. But not me. Because I am big. And strong."

"That giant robot that is not being as big as our giant robot looks like it is being big enough to stomp on the Doctor," Chobin said.

"Hmm. Yes. It is," Viers agreed.

"Ze only vone who's going to be doing any stomping here is us!" Tarantulas said, stomping one leg down for emphasis and accidentally skewering one of his mechanical spiders. He gasped in horror when he realized what he had done. "Oh no! Number 379026! I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I didn't know vat I vas doing!" he wailed desperately as he held his leg up to his face, the impaled mechanoid wriggling weakly at his tip. He burst into tears, water flowing from one eye and oil from the other. "You-who-who were my fa-a-a-a-avorite!" he sobbed. Then he stuffed the spider into his mouth and devoured it in a few quick bites. "Aaaand I'm over it. Number 78003756, _you_ are my favorite now!" the Doctor said to one of the other spiders, who jumped for joy at this exciting news.

"Chobin thought Chobin was being your favorite Chobin!" Chobin protested.

"You are my favorite Chobin, but Number 78003756 is my favorite _spider_," Tarantulas pointed out. "Zere is being a difference."

"Oh, okay then," Chobin said.

"Er, Doctor? The robot on the leg?" one of the Nihilators spoke up anxiously.

Tarantulas blinked. "Eh? Is zat still zere? Vhy haven't you gotten rid of it already? I gave ze order just a minute ago!"

"Yes, but then you—and subsequently, all of us—got sort of distracted by Chobin and Viers' debate, and your emotional reaction to the death of your favorite spider," the Nihilator said. "And we assumed you'd want to be watching when we fulfilled your order, so thought we'd wait until we had your full attention."

"Oh," Tarantulas said in surprise. "Zat is very considerate of you. Er, zanks."

"You're welcome," the Nihilator said cheerfully.

"Right," Tarantulas said. "Now…ELECTRIFY ZE ROBOT ALREADY!"

"Yes sir!" his underlings shouted.

A few moments earlier, dangling from the leg of the Arachnoblast…

"Nice shot," George complimented Sam, who had been the one to fire the shot that had knocked the Arachnoblast's main cannon away from the tumbling luggage car.

"_**Impressive aim for a fleshling,"**_Outlaw said grudgingly. _**"Can you shoot as well, neophyte?"**_

George tried to aim the cannon under her control at the Arachnoblast's cockpit, only to frown as it danced out of view. "I don't think I can hit it from down here. Unless this thing can shoot homing blasts?"

"_**It can, but it needs a target to lock onto first,"**_ Outlaw said grudgingly. _**"And unless you can see the target first, you can't lock onto it."**_

"Figures," George said in annoyance. "Hmm…say, do you suppose I could blow out the joints on one of those legs? I'm fairly certain I can hit one of _those_."

"_**An interesting thought, but I'm afraid not. My cannons are powerful, but not strong enough to significantly damage them,"**_ Outlaw said.

George raised an eyebrow. "What's this? Primitive Pokémon technology actually being able to withstand your superior Cybertronian arsenal?"

"_**Don't be preposterous!" **_Outlaw snarled. _**"It's still far from my level…however…closer examination reveals that this ship is more advanced than anything your planet should be capable of producing. The metal alloy comprising the hull is strong enough to shrug off my weapons fire even at close range, which means it is certainly nothing that should exist anywhere on this world."**_

George blinked in surprise. "Really?"

"_**Of course! Something like this should be beyond the capabilities of your species to create…which only begs the question…how were these 'Nihilators' able to construct it?" **_Outlaw wondered.

"That's a question we can ask later," Sam said. "Namely, once we get to the top of this thing so we can bring it to its knees and interrogate Doctor Tarantulas face-to-face!"

"_**And if he cannot tell us where Max is, I shall squish him beneath my foot, just as you would squish a regular spider back on your world!"**_ Outlaw said with relish.

"Technically it's your world too," Sam reminded her.

"_**Cybertron is my world!"**_ Outlaw said.

"You were built on a factory on Earth," Sam said.

"_**But I was sparked on Cybertron!"**_ Outlaw insisted.

"You already _had_ a soul from Earth, though," Sam said. "I think. I mean, otherwise, you couldn't have gone to Hell, right? You can't go to an afterlife if you don't have a soul."

"_**A soul and a Spark are completely different things!"**_ Outlaw snapped.

"Okay, what's the difference?" Sam asked.

Outlaw hesitated. _**"Er…well…"**_

"Um, this is very fascinating, but can we keep climbing?" George asked anxiously. "I don't think this is exactly a good place for us to be arguing. You know, dangling from the side of a gigantic monster and all."

"_**Pah, it's the perfect place for an argument! I bickered and fought with my Decepticon brothers and sisters as we raced to climb to the top of Fortress Maximus, so that one of us would have the pleasure of ripping out his cerebral processor and destroying one of the Autobots' mightiest warriors!"**_Outlaw said.

"Didn't you lose that battle because you were all too busy shooting at each other to focus on Fort Max?" Sam asked.

"…_**No," **_Outlaw lied. She started and began giggling—which was a very un-Decepticon-ish sound, to be sure—when little arcs of electricity started crackling across the hull and dancing up her metal limbs. _**"Ahahaha…hoho, that tickles!"**_

"Huh? What's going on?" George asked in alarm as the giant robot started shaking rather ominously. Were they about to plummet to their deaths? She anxiously checked the controls around her for any sign of an 'Eject' button.

"_**Hehehehe…no, no, it's nothing to worry about, that silly arachnid is just trying to knock us off with a harmless little electric current,"**_ Outlaw chuckled. _**"Well, harmless to **_**me,**_** anyway, if you were to make contact with this vessel's hull with your bare…er, furred skin, you would be reduced to cinders in a flash."**_

"Ah," George said, not the slightest bit reassured.

"_**Fortunately, my superior Cybertronian circuitry can handle shocks terawatts more intense than this!"**_ Outlaw bragged. _**"It will take much worse than this to do any serious harm!"**_ As if on cue, the electric arcs grew larger and more chaotic, sparks flying everywhere as the rain and sleet and embers made contact with the charged metal. Outlaw winced and gritted her teeth as the volts . _**"Okay, that's…a bit more than I expected. Still not too bad."**_

"Are you sure?" Sam asked in concern.

"_**Bah, I have fallen into the smelting pools of Darkmount and clawed my way back out to cleave the traitorous Lord High Governor Straxus's head in with his own pickaxe! This pain is as nothing compared to that!"**_ Outlaw boasted. The voltage increased again, and her body started shaking a bit more, bouncing Sam and George up and down rather uncomfortably in their seats. _**"Still nothing!"**_ she insisted through gritted teeth. Releasing her grip with one hand, she swung her arm up, dug her claws into the highly-charged metal, pulled up her other arm, clawed herself a new handhold, and kept going, fighting through the shocks as she continued to scale the leg of the massive mobile fortress.

"The enemy mecha is still coming, sir," a Nihilator reported to Tarantulas.

"Zen turn up ze power even more! Fry it!" Tarantulas snarled.

"Er, we can't, sir. We've already exceeded safety parameters with the conductors. Any more and we could cause severe short-circuits and power failures throughout the Arachnoblast," an operator reported.

"Vhat? Really? Vow, eizer zat zing's even tougher zan I zought or I didn't make zis zing as powerful as I zought I did…" Tarantulas murmured. "Vell, it's a good zing ve can do more zan just zap it! Activate ze leg-mounted cannons and shoot zat zing off!"

"Aye-aye, sir," the Nihilators said as several smaller windows with targeting reticles locked on the climbing figure of Outlaw appeared on the main screen.

Chobin gasped. "What! But Chobin had been thought that Doctor did not install oodles and oodles of cannons there because they were being too 'excessive!'"

"I never said zat," Tarantulas said. "I just said ve didn't have any cannons in ze exact spot ze robot is at. Ve've got plenty of ozzer cannons placed elsevere on ze legs."

"…Oooooooh," Chobin said, eyes lighting up with joy. "Doctor, Chobin is taking back some of the nasty awful no-good things he is saying about you behind your back! Viers, you are no longer being Chobin's bestest bestest best friend anymore. The Doctor is once again! You can go back to being Chobin's new bestest friend who is not quite as best as Doctor but still very good all the same."

"Okay," Viers said, not looking too torn up about it.

Tarantulas smirked. "Heh, I zought somezing like zat vould bring you around…now, back to business! Open fire!"

The Nihilators did. Dozens of turrets emerged from the sides of the legs (including the one Outlaw was climbing up) and the underbelly of the Arachnoblast, turning and pointing their barrels at the Decepticon. They started shooting, spitting rapid-fire energy pellets along with much larger, slower, but much more dangerous bursts raining down on Outlaw and the area she was dangling from, causing her to cry out in pain as the blasts tore into her metal skin. Sam and George cried out too, though less from pain than because Outlaw lost her grip and started to fall, only plummeting a few dozen meters before she managed to dig her claws back into the side of the leg and arrest her descent, though she caused quite the ear-splitting screech and left deep grooves in the surface of the giant appendage in the process. "Ohcrapohcrapohcrap!" George gasped.

"Keep it together! I thought you were a hardened mercenary, what are you doing panicking like this?" Sam snarled.

"I've been in lots of combat situations, but I've never been inside a turret perched on the shoulder of a giant robot climbing up the side of an even bigger robot during what has to be the worst storm in the history of Sinnorre right in the middle of a freaking _warzone!_" she snapped shrilly. "Excuse me for being a little freaked out for finding myself in the kind of thing I've never even remotely anticipated getting involved in, the sort of thing you'd only see in incredibly high-budget summer blockbusters!"

"Ooh, I love those movies," Sam said.

"Yeah, so do I, even if the violence and blatant exploitation of attractive female characters can be a little gratuitous," George said.

"That's okay, I like my violence gratuitous, and so does Max," Sam said. "He doesn't really care so much about the women, though."

"Yeah, me neither," George said.

"_**I think there need to be more movies where the clearly superior and more powerful invading force succeeds in subjugating and conquering the pathetic indigenous species,"**_ Outlaw put in her two energon credits. _**"Not only is that more true to life, but it's more satisfying and gives you the sense that the invaders are truly professionals and won't just be beaten because the worthless fleshlings are able to exploit some glaringly obvious flaw in the aliens' technology or biology that somehow none of the dominated races who fell before them ever noticed or that the invaders themselves hadn't managed to correct ages ago."**_

"That may be so, but people like to root for the underdog, and movies are supposed to be an escape from the often crushing and depressing weight of reality," Sam pointed out.

"_**Maybe so, but they also give the vermin false ideas about what REAL first contact would be like or the proper way they should go about dealing with a superior occupying force: namely, fighting futilely and only making the invaders angry rather than doing the smart thing and surrendering before they decide to ignite your atmosphere from orbit and wipe out all life on the planet for the fun of it,"**_ Outlaw said.

"…Have…have you…" a horrified George whispered.

"_**Hmm? Oh, no, I've never gotten the chance to do that—more's the pity—I'm just a soldier. I don't have the rank or authority or raw firepower to do something like that,"**_ Outlaw said wistfully. _**"Maybe someday…"**_

"Ah," George said faintly. There was a pause. "Why are we discussing movies while we're under heavy fire while scaling an incredibly dangerous giant robot?"

"_**Because it's preposterous and unexpected,"**_ Sam and Outlaw said at the same time.

George facepalmed. "Right. Of course. Why did I even ask?"

"_**Because you're still sane, something we will cure you of shortly,"**_ Outlaw said soothingly. _**"As well as that exasperating whining problem."**_

"I do not whine!" George whined.

"_**You're doing it now! And just a minute ago you were complaining about how terrible it is to be inside a turret perched on the shoulder of a giant robot climbing up the side of an even bigger robot during what has to be the worst storm in the history of Sinnorre right in the middle of a fragging warzone. Please! Were you a Decepticon, you would be exterminated for such cowardice! I might even do it myself, unbidden!"**_

"Yes, but I'm not a Decepticon, I'm one of those small, easily-killed 'fleshlings' you seem to be so disgusted by," George pointed out.

"_**And that's never going to change if you don't grow a spinal strut and shut your mouth when the going gets tough!"**_ Outlaw snarled. _**"Sam and Max earned my respect by keeping their cool and remaining unflappable no matter what impossible task or threat they must face! Be it aliens, demons, vampires, giant babies, or even the Unmaker himself, they face it down with a calm, no, a sense of humor most warriors cannot ever hope to achieve! If you wish to remain in their company, and by extension, mine, then you need to show that you're made from the same mold they are: capable of handling anything that comes your way, with naught but a shrug and a wry quip ready to roll off your lips! And a loaded weapon, but sometimes you may not even need that to defeat your foes, although I would prefer one, personally!" **_She turned her head to glare at the Mightyena. _**"So…do you think you are capable of putting your fears aside and doing what is necessary? Because if not, then I have no qualms with ejecting you from my shoulder here and now so I don't have to put up with your dead weight!"**_

"You mean the same dead weight that's managed a number of pretty good shots since she got behind the controls?" George asked, offended.

"_**If it whines, its dead weight,"**_ Outlaw sneered. _**"And I'm sure my targeting computers can compensate for the negligible drop in accuracy your absence will cause."**_

George narrowed her eyes and gripped the controls. "Oh, we'll just _see_ about that!" Swiveling her turret around, she started firing at some of the cannons shooting at them. The enemy turrets were heavily armored, but that armor wasn't enough to withstand several seconds of repeated fire from a Cybertronian heavy blaster. "Ha!" she barked as the turrets went up in flames and the pressure from the enemy fire lessened. "How's _that_ for dead weight?"

"_**Hmmph. Adequate, I suppose,"**_ Outlaw grunted.

"I thought it was a good shot," Sam said.

"_**You would,"**_she replied.

"Yes, I would," Sam said. There was a pause. "…Were you trying to imply something there? Because I think I missed it."

Outlaw rolled her eyes. _**"Why am I not surprised?"**_

"Hey, Sam, I don't suppose you could lend me a hand here?" George asked as she traded fire with several of the other cannons. "I hate to admit it, but I don't think I can destroy all these by myself!"

"Sure thing," Sam said, taking the controls of his turret. "Let's make another contest of this, shall we? Whoever takes out the most guns wins!"

"All right, but if you want to play it that way, you've got a _lot_ of catching up to do!" George commented as another turret exploded beneath her heavy fire. "I've already taken out five cannons!" Another gun battery exploded. "Make that six!"

"What, that's it?" Sam scoffed, targeting a cannon that seemed to be particularly accurate with its aiming and started opening fire on it. "You're getting slow, earlier today you were able to take out at least twice as many targets with a single shot!"

"Earlier today we weren't monning turrets on the shoulders of a giant robot dangling from the side of an even bigger robot in what has to be the worst weather I've ever seen in the middle of a warzone!" George retorted, blowing up another cannon.

Sam snorted. "Please, marksmen as good as us don't let something as harmless as a little drizzle mess with our aim!"

"…A little _drizzle?"_ George asked incredulously. "You call _this_ a _drizzle?"_

Sam laughed. "Ha! Compared to some of the storms we've been getting on the East Coast back home ever since Max blew up the North Pole to kill Santa Claus and bring a decisive end to the Christmas War, this is nothing more than a light summer shower! Especially since those storms suck up all the toxic waste and garbage we've been dumping in the ocean and have been possessed by angry wind demons who've vowed to destroy America because Max used the ancient scepter they were imprisoned in as a loofah to scrub the hard-to-reach areas of his body. And since he doesn't bathe much, that means there was a _lot_ of nasty stuff to rub the demons' faces in…"

"_**Oh, and don't forget all the storm gods Max pissed off-including Zeus-when he decided to build himself a temple, made worshipping him the national religion, and declared himself better than all those 'old-school weak-ass has-beens,'"**_ Outlaw said, beginning her climb again now that the pressure from the enemy fire was easing up due to Sam and George shooting at the cannons.

"Yeah, they sure seemed to take a lot of offense at that for some reason," Sam agreed.

George gawked in disbelief. "That's…are you…are you serious?"

"_**Yes,"**_ Outlaw and Sam said at the same time.

"And…and he _killed _Santa Christ?" George asked incredulously.

"Santa _Claus,_" Sam corrected. "And no, unfortunately we didn't kill him. The radiation from the nuclear fallout of all the ICBMs we threw at him caused him to mutate into a giant monster that we were forced to launch into space, where he gathers his power and returns once a year on Christmas Eve to try and destroy the world, only to be beaten in an epic smackdown courtesy of Maxthulhu that sends him packing every time, as well as does wonders for Max's publicity ratings and revenue from all the Maxthulhu merchandise we sell on the holidays."

"…_What?"_ George said in disbelief.

"True story," Sam said.

"_**If it's any consolation, Claus started it by dispatching an army of elves and giant toy soldiers to destroy New York,"**_ Outlaw said. She paused. _**"…Although that might have been retaliation for Max locking up Mrs. Claus for being a 'fat, ugly cow who makes lousy cookies' and because Santa sent a chunk of uranium the previous year along with the usual trainload of coal that blew up a fourth of the White House when it was thrown into the furnace, which greatly irritated him because **_**he's**_** the only one who gets to go around blowing up bits of the White House. Also, someone filled his socks with itching powder, and he needed someone to blame."**_

"Just between you and me, I'm the one who put it there," Sam whispered. "Which he must never, ever know, or he'll slap me silly with a frozen halibut and eat my hat."

"…Sweet Mew in the Celestial Heavens, _why_ are we planning to rescue him again? He's a monster (sometimes even literally), a horrible dictator, and certifiably insane!" George raved. "He's completely ruined your world and turned it into an unlivable hellhole!"

The dog and Decepticon stared at her blankly. _**"I don't follow,"**_ Outlaw said.

"The world was already an unlivable hellhole," Sam said cheerfully. "Max just made it a lot more fun. Well, fun for us, anyway." George just stared at him, dumbfounded. She was beginning to wonder what she had seen in the otherworlder.

On the bridge, the gathered villains looked in concern as Outlaw continued on her way, the lines of fire lancing out from the guns mounted all over the Arachnoblast's legs winking out one by one as the mecha's shoulder turrets took them out. "Doctor, it's not enough; the robot is still coming!" one of the Nihilators reported.

"I can see zat, you idiot!" Tarantulas snapped.

"This are being so lame, in both senses of the word, because it is stupid and weak and stupid and because it is being like a Pokémon with a bad leg who is needing to be abandoned by the rest of its herd so it stops slowing them down and so that the poor hungry predators who just want a good bite to eat to fill their empty tummies get a good bite to eat to fill their empty tummies," Chobin complained. "Doctor, Chobin is disappointed in you for not installing more cannons and making them stronger than those weak-ass Water Guns! Chobin is changing his mind again, you are no longer being Chobin's bestest bestest best friend anymore. Viers is once again! You can go back to being Chobin's bestest friend who is not quite as best as Viers but still very good all the same, only not quite as good as you were being before because your cannons suck."

"Okay," Viers said.

Tarantulas' eyes twitched. "Oh, for ze love of…look, ve've got bigger and stronger veapons zan zose turrets, but I can't very vell use zem vizout possibly blowing up parts of ze Arachnoblast due to how zat zing is hanging from our side!"

"Chobin fails to see the problem! Doctor's unwillingness to possibly blowing up parts of the Arachnoblast due to how that thing is hanging from our side PROVES Doctor is unfit to be Chobin's bestest bestest best friend!" Chobin said stubbornly.

Tarantulas gnashed his teeth in exasperation, his anger chip getting close to overheating again. "Gah! Vhy am I vasting time trying to justify myself to you? Especially ven I still have ANOZZER veapon to fall back on! Release ze robot spiders!" The spiders crawling all over him and clinging to his web immediately poured onto the floor in a great shimmering mass, much to the alarm and consternation of the Nihilators and the delight of Chobin. "No, no, not _you_ robot spiders, ze ozzer ones!" Tarantulas clarified. The spiders on the floor chittered in apology and climbed back onto Tarantulas, much to the relief of the Nihilators and the disappointment of Chobin.

"Awww," Chobin complained. "Chobin was hoping to see someone get eaten, so he could vicariously experience the sensation of eating someone himself because there is being nothing to eat in here."

"I could eat someone," Viers offered.

"Hooray!" Chobin cheered as the Nihilators stiffened in horror.

"No," the Doctor said curtly. "Viers, don't eat anyone."

"As you command, Lord Doctor Tarantulas," Viers said obediently.

The Nihilators sighed in relief. "You suck!" Chobin shouted. "Chobin is being completely justified in making Viers Chobin's bestest bestest best friend! Chobin should have done this years ago!"

"How? I'm ze only friend you've ever had up until now!" Tarantulas pointed out.

"That is not being true! Chobin has had lots of friends! Lots and lots and lots of friendly friends who understood Chobin's needs better than you did!" Chobin yelled.

"You mean ze friends you tortured, killed, and ate, not necessarily in zat order?" Tarantulas asked sarcastically.

"Yes!" Chobin said obliviously. "They were being much better friends, especially since they were not talking back as much as you!"

"Zat's because zey vere eizzer too busy screaming, you'd cut out zeir tongues and/or vocal cords, or zey vere already dead," Tarantulas said.

"_EXACTLY!"_ Chobin cried.

As Chobin and Tarantulas argued, hatches on the sides of the leg Outlaw was climbing opened up and wave after wave of shiny metallic spiders scurried out and began crawling down the surface of the limb towards the Decepticon, their carapaces sizzling as the slightly acidic rain reacted with the alloys making up their bodies. Outlaw's eyes widened in horror when she saw what was coming. _**"No…no, it can't be! Not here! I thought you didn't even have them on this planet!"**_

"Have what?" George asked, looking warily at the oncoming swarm.

"_**SCRAPLETS!" **_Outlaw cried, actually sounding scared.

George frowned. "Scraplets? What are those?"

"Metal-eating robotic vermin from Cybertron," Sam explained. "The worst nightmare of many a giant robot."

"Why? Can't they just step on them?" George asked.

"Yes, but they always travel in huge swarms, and they voraciously eat metal. Which Cybertronians happen to be made out of. Think about it for a minute," Sam said.

George did. "…Ooh. Yeah, I can see why that would be a problem."

"_**I have seen them strip the chassis from my Decepticon brethren and consume them utterly in mere seconds,"**_ Outlaw said, shuddering. _**"They **__**pick you apart from the inside out, going for the small juicy bits first, fuse by fuse, circuit by circuit, 'til there's nothing left, and I mean **__**nothing**__**... not even your optics."**_

"Okay, I'm starting to get a little scared now," George said nervously.

"_**A LITTLE?"**_ Outlaw shouted anxiously.

"Don't worry George, scraplets only eat metal. They completely ignore organic 'squishies' like us," Sam said.

"Oh. That's good," George said in relief.

"Of course, if they eat Outlaw, who we're currently inside of, then there's nothing stopping us from plummeting to our deaths," Sam said, not sounding particularly worried about this prospect.

"…Ah," George said faintly. She looked up at the millions and millions of spiders approaching and swallowed. "This might be a little tricky."

"On the other hand, lots of targets means lots of points," Sam said.

"Hmm. That it does," George agreed, perking up. "Have we actually come up with a prize for getting the most points yet?"

"Today? I don't think so," Sam said.

"Hmm. I'm sure we'll think of something," George said, already thinking of something. She swiveled her turret and opened fire, destroying several dozen spiders in a single shot. "Does that count as just one?"

"Eh, I'm not even sure anymore," Sam said as he started blasting the spiders as well. "Let's just shoot 'em all and tally it up later."

"Works for me," George said without taking her eyes off her targeting computer.

Outlaw smirked. _**And what was that about competition not getting anything done, Sam?**_ She thought in amusement as she continued her climb, her un-Decepticonly fear of the Scraplets mitigated somewhat by the knowledge that she had such reliable frie…_pets_ to assist her. Not that she couldn't handle the pesky metal-eaters on her own. It was just a little, ah, easier this way. And it saved her ammunition for a real battle. Yes. That's precisely what she was doing.

And while Outlaw continued her climb, Tarantulas and Chobin continued arguing in the Arachnoblast's command center. "Um…should we stop them?" a Nihilator asked in concern as all activity on the bridge stopped to watch their superior and his lackey bickering, proving Outlaw's firm belief that fighting with your colleagues in the middle of a battle didn't hamper your efficiency much false yet again.

"What, are you kidding? This is better than a soap opera!" one of his colleagues said, eagerly shoveling popcorn into his mouth.

"Do you think the Doctor and Chobin will break up?" another Nihilator whispered.

"Break up? I thought they were purely platonic!" yet another said, shocked.

"Well, that's what the Doctor says, but if that were the case, would he keep cloning Chobin back from the dead?" the previous Nihilator asked.

"Well, it's not like there's anyone else in the organization who can stand being near the guy for too long without wigging out and going insane," somebody pointed out. "So his options are kinda limited in that regard."

"What about Bellum?" someone else suggested.

"What are you, kidding? Those two hate each other!" an operator said incredulously.

"Well, yeah, but you know what they say about belligerent sexual tension…" the Nihilator who'd brought up the absolutely horrifying idea in the first place pointed out.

"…That is sick and wrong," the Nihilator with the popcorn said. "And since we're Nihilators, that means we love the idea!" The others nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, I think the Doctor and Bellum are my new OTP now," a weapons officer said.

"They've been my OTP for a while now. I even write steamy fanfics about them in my spare time," a communication officer said shyly.

Everyone stared at him. "Okay, there's sick and wrong that's socially acceptable, and then there's…the other kind," the popcorn Nihilator said, spraying the air with bits of kernel because he was talking with his mouth full.

The secret fanfic writer sagged. "Too much, huh?"

"Oh no, I'm actually fascinated. I do the same thing!" the popcorn Nihilator said. "Except I also write fics where Chobin and Marianne pair up."

"What? Chobin and Marianne? Seriously?" a technician asked incredulously.

The popcorn Nihilator shrugged. "Hey, I'm a fan of crack pairings."

"Wouldn't the very act of sexual intercourse kill Chobin? You know, since she's made of pure electricity and all?" another weapons officer said.

"Precisely why they make a perfect couple," the popcorn Nihilator said smugly.

"…Ooooh, right, what with Chobin's masochistic tendencies and nigh-immortality due to cloning. Yeah, I can see how that would work," the weapons officer said.

"Speaking of intercourse, _could_ Bellum and the Doctor actually…you know…get it on? I mean, yeah, she's a frigid bitch but I hear she's extremely active, but…does the Doctor even have those kinds of parts anymore?" another communications officer wondered.

"I think he has cybernetic prostheses that work just as well," an operator said.

"Hmm. I'm not sure if that's a turn-on or a turn-off," yet another weapons officer (What? The Arachnoblast had a lot of weapons!) murmured.

"I heard it's so powerful that if he gets too excited he can rip whoever he's doing it with in half," the operator gossiped.

"Yeah, definitely a turn-on," the weapons officer said after a moment's deliberation. The others nodded in agreement.

"…Hey, do any of you feel like we're forgetting something?" another communications officer said after a moment.

They thought about this for a moment. "Well, I have popcorn," the Nihilator with the popcorn said.

"Can I have some?" one of his colleagues asked hopefully.

"No," the Nihilator with the popcorn said, causing the hungry Nihilator to sulk.

"Maybe that's it? That we all forgot to get popcorn?" someone suggested.

"No, I don't think that's it…" the communications officer said.

"Is it nachos? I could really go for some nachos right now," an operator said.

"I have some," a weapons officer said.

"Ooh! Can I have some?" the operator asked hopefully.

"No," the Nihilator with the nachos said, causng the hungry operator to sulk.

"No, that's not it either," the communications officer said, brow furrowed in thought. "It's something…something important. Something really important. It's on the tip of my tongue, I just can't remember what it is…"

"Oh, did you remember to program the DVR to record the new episode of Doctor What tonight?" a technician suggested.

The communications officer snapped his claws. "That's it! Thanks, I can't believe I forgot about that! It's a good thing you reminded me, I'd have hated to miss it."

"You know you could just watch it online as early as tomorrow, right?" one more weapons officer said.

"Normally I could, but my Internet privileges got revoked again," the communications officer complained.

"What, were you looking at too much kiddie porn or something?" the Nihilator with the nachos asked.

"No, I was spending too much time on the Arcean Order's website," the communications officer said. Everyone stared at him in horror. "Purely for the sake of research! I mean, to defeat your enemy you gotta know your enemy, right? It's not like I'm thinking of _converting_ or anything like that! I mean, not that I could, since my soul's been promised to the Ruler of Evil like the rest of us…"

"…I guess that makes sense," the Nihilator with the popcorn grunted. "Though that's kind of a lame site to be looking at. Couldn't you at least have gotten caught for playing around on the website for the Mewrian Union? They at least post videos of them 'worshipping the goddess.'"

"So does the Arcean Order," the communications officer said.

"Do those videos involve porn?" the Nihilator with the popcorn said.

"No," the communications officer admitted.

"I rest my case," the Nihilator with the popcorn said smugly.

"Hey, can we come over to watch Doctor What with you tonight? My TV's busted because I threw the bitch I was raping through the screen when she wouldn't give me a blow job," one of the operators said. Several of the other Nihilators nodded sympathetically, in the same situation themselves.

"Sure, we can make a party of it," the communications officer said, though privately he wasn't sure his quarters had room for everyone...not that he said as much. If he turned them down, he was pretty sure they'd tear him apart on principle, which wouldn't be particularly pleasant. And he'd miss tonight's episode, too.

"Yeah, and it'll be a big one too, to celebrate our finally beating those Team Aurabolt guys and all the other nuisances who've been a thorn in our sides," a weapons officer said. "With them out of the way, nothing can stop us from taking over the world!"

"What about those guys in Pokémon Square?" an operator said.

"Well, okay, aside from them," the weapons officer said.

The communications officer stiffened, remembering something else he had forgotten. "Uh, guys?"

"What?" the Nihilator with the nachos said.

"What happened to that Lucario we were chasing?" the communications officer said.

"He's in that luggage car which we…didn't…shoot…out of…the sky…" the Nihilator with the nachos said, freezing in mid-chew. There was a long moment of silence. Everyone stared at each other. There was another long moment of silence. Then they all rushed to their consoles and started frantically searching for their primary target.

"I've got it!" someone announced triumphantly after several very tense panic-filled seconds. "Something about the size and shape of the luggage car…almost twenty kilometers away from us…moving extremely fast…" His face fell.

"What? Why didn't any of the battleships between here and there tell us they were on the move?" an operator cried.

"Um, they did," one of the communications officers said, turning pale. "Except none of us were monning our posts because we were too busy watching Doctor Tarantulas' and Chobin's domestic dispute to hear them…"

"Welp," the Nihilator with the popcorn, who was still munching on his snack, said cheerfully as he grabbed the communications officer by the neck and lifted him bodily into the air. "Looks like that means we have a volunteer to tell the Doc! Congratulations!" He flung him towards the web at the center of the room.

The communications officer smashed into Viers' gut and fell to the floor, skull pounding and the room swirling in his vision. Viers, not even winded from the impact, glared ominously down at the intruder. "You have desecrated my stomach. With your head. This is dishonorable. Prepare to die. And be eaten. And lose your head. Not in that order."

"If I desecrated your stomach by ramming into it, won't putting me inside of it only desecrate it further?" the Nihilator asked dizzily.

"…No," Viers said after a moment's thought.

"Well, can you wait to do all that until I talk to the Doctor? I have some important news for him," the Nihilator said.

"Is it bad news?" Viers said.

"Well…yes," the Nihilator admitted.

Viers thought about this for a moment. "The Doctor will not like hearing more bad news. He is already in a bad mood. More bad news will make it worse. Then he will be in a worse mood. Which is bad. Because it is not good. Good news would put him in a good mood. Which would be better than the mood he is in now."

"That may be so, but I don't have good news, only the bad kind," the Nihilator said.

"This is bad. Because it is not good," Viers said. He frowned. "…Very well. The Doctor will probably kill you. Because he will not like hearing the bad news. Because he is in a bad mood. And bad news will make it worse. Which is bad. It will be a worse mood."

"I gathered," the Nihilator said unhappily.

"If he does not kill you, I will," Viers said. "And eat you. And remove your head. Not in that order."

"Which order will it be in, then?" the Nihilator asked. "And wouldn't all three kill me anyway? What's the difference?"

"How you die," Viers said. "It is very important."

"Is it?" the Nihilator asked.

"Yes," Viers said.

"I'll take your word for it," the Nihilator said

"All right," Viers said.

They stared at each other for a long moment. "So…can I talk to the Doctor or…"

"Nothing is stopping you. But yourself. Because I am not stopping you. So you are the reason you are not talking to him," Viers said.

"That it is," the Nihilator admitted. He turned to the Doctor and cleared his throat. "Er, Doctor, if I could just have a moment-"

Tarantulas did not hear him, because he was too busy screaming at Chobin. "Honestly, Chobin, you are such a spoiled child!"

"That are being right, Chobin is being a spoiled child that is Chobin!" Chobin agreed. "Both in the sense that Chobin is pampered and privileged and because Chobin is all rotten in the head! And Chobin is also being a child because he hasn't made it past puberty due to all the yummy disgusting hormones Doctor keeps feeding him!"

"I don't feed zose to you, you keep stealing zem from my supply closet and drinking zem!" Tarantulas said.

"That is being your fault for not locking your closet properly!" Chobin said.

"I _do_ lock it properly! You keep breaking it open!" Tarantulas said.

"Then you are not being locking your closet properly, now is you?" Chobin said, sticking out his tongue. Tarantulas ground his teeth, making a very loud and excruciatingly painful metallic scraping noise.

"Excuse me, Doctor," the Nihilator said.

"My hormones are not having anyzing to do viz your stunted development! Ze reason you've barely aged since ve joined ze Nihilators is because you keep being stupid and getting yourself killed in mind-numbingly IDIOTIC vays so I have to keep cloning you back to life again and again!" Tarantulas continued, not hearing his subordinate.

"Chobin is not complaining. Chobin is loving being like child forever! No responsibilities, no worries, just lots and lots of fun! And Chobin is having you to be the thanking of you for it Doctor, because without you Chobin would not be getting so many free tickets out of the Abyss so Chobin can do whatever Chobin wants without worrying about the consequences," Chobin said.

"Oh, so now it's _my_ fault you're an irresponsible selfish brat, is it?" Tarantulas yelled.

"Yes," Chobin said. "And Chobin is ever so happy for it! But Chobin is not thanking you for it, because Chobin is being a complete asshole, but not literally because that would be gross, though interesting, and now Chobin is wanting Doctor to graft Chobin's butt onto Chobin's head and Chobin's face onto Chobin's ass for a change of pace."

"Um, Doctor?" the Nihilator said a little louder.

"Maybe I _should_ do zat, to make you realize vhat a piece of shit you are! Or better yet, graft your face onto your foot so you can experience firsthand vhat it's like being an utter heel!" Tarantulas yelled.

"Ooh, do that, do that! Then when Chobin is kicking your shiny metal ass, he can be biting your shiny metal ass too, and sucking on your spinnerets, and tearing off your prosthetic-" Chobin started.

"OKAY, zis conversation is taking a very disturbing turn," Tarantulas interrupted.

"Good! Chobin is liking disturbing turns!" Chobin said.

"Doctor!" the Nihilator shouted.

"You know vat? Forget zis, zis conversation is a complete vaste of my time!" Tarantulas said. "If you don't die in any stupid self-inflicted accidents and Oblivion's Shadow doesn't destroy your cloning equipment once ve're done here, I'll kill you myself zen clone you vizout bozzering to back up ze memories of today's battle, so not only vill I be back to being your bestest bestest friend again, but you'll have completely missed out on all ze cool zings zat ve did and ze deazs of Team Aurabolt and ze vampires and all zose ozzer Pokémon zat are defying us, and no matter how much you beg and plead I von't let you even get to vatch a recording of zem, to punish you for being a complete and utter pill zis whole time!"

"Go ahead, it won't be any different from when Chobin was eating your deliciously yummy wafer-thin boxed set of the classic Battlestar Galaxia," Chobin said.

"ZAT VAS YOOOOOOOOOUUUUUU?" Tarantulas shrieked, eyes flashing red, spiders scurrying wildly, and steam venting from his overheating skull.

"Yep!" Chobin said proudly.

"You told me Bellum did it!" Tarantulas yelled.

"Chobin lied. Chobin does that a lot, in case Doctor did not notice. All along it was Chobin who ate them all along! And Chobin would do it again, too, because Battlestar Galaxia was a stupid show back in the day, and while the new one was better for a while it completely hosed itself up with that stupid ending which made sense about as much as the finale for Misplaced!" Chobin shouted.

"! YOU DIE NOW!" Tarantulas howled, leaping off his web and onto the top of Chobin's sphere, digging his metal appendages into the sides and thrusting his free legs repeatedly into the surface, trying to pierce it and skewer Chobin. "DIE! DIE! DIE!"

"Chobin would love to, but Doctor is not going to pierce Chobin's bubble with such wussy girly-stabs!" Chobin taunted, smacking his butt in the Doctor's face. "Try harder!"

"I VILL!" the Doctor promised, stabbing harder and harder and cursing himself for making the sphere so thick and difficult to penetrate. He's made it with the intention of keeping Chobin safe from any outside threat, and it was certainly doing the part well, much to his exasperation.

"Doctor! DOCTOR!" the Nihilator shouted. Tarantulas didn't listen. He sighed. "He's not listening."

"Hmmph. Your voice is weak. Because your lungs are weak. Like the rest of you. Which is weak," Viers said, shoving the communications officer out of the way hard enough to dislocate his shoulder. "I will show you how it is done. For my voice is strong. Because my lungs are strong. Like the rest of me. Which is strong." He marched up to the frenziedly stabbing Tarantulas, took a deep breath, then leaned in close to the cyborg Ariados's head and bellowed, _**"!"**_

Everyone on the bridge flinched and clutched their heads in pain. Some of their eardrums shattered. As did several of the monitors and instrument panels. And Doctor Tarantulas' mechanical eye. And a few of the robot spiders. The mad scientist shrieked in agony as sparks shot out of the side of his head, his audio receptors overloading from the intense sonic attack. Chobin shrieked as well, but in ecstasy. He was weird like that. Writhing in agony, Tarantulas fell off the sphere and landed on his back, twitching and convulsing as his legs danced spasmodically through the air.

"Um. I think you broke him," the communications officer said. "And will someone answer that phone? It's giving me a splitting headache."

"WHAT? DID YOU SAY SOMETHING? I CAN'T HEAR YOU, I THINK VIERS MADE ME DEAF," one of the other Nihilators shouted.

"WHAT? DID YOU SAY SOMETHING? I CAN'T HEAR YOU, I THINK VIERS MADE ME DEAF," one of the other Nihilators shouted in response to this.

"WHAT? DID YOU SAY SOMETHING? I CAN'T HEAR YOU, I THINK VIERS MADE ME DEAF," still another Nihilators shouted in response to this.

"WHAT? DID YOU SAY SOMETHING? I CAN'T HEAR YOU, I THINK VIERS MADE ME DEAF," yet another of the other Nihilators...oh, you get the drift.

Viers scratched his head awkwardly. "Hmm. Perhaps my voice is too strong. Because my lungs are too strong. Like the rest of me. Which is too strong."

After several seconds of shaking, Tarantulas finally seemed to regain control of himself. "Ohhhhh…Viers," the doctor rasped, staring at the ceiling. "You had better have a very good reason for yelling at me like zat and nearly frying all my circuits, or I'll kill you. I may kill you anyvay. I haven't decided yet."

"This one has a message," Viers said, shoving the rather nervous Nihilator forwards.

"Does he now? Good, I can kill him too," Tarantulas said. The communications officer gulped. "Vhat is it?"

"Um…the car carrying Ash has escaped," the Nihilator said anxiously.

There was a pause. "Say zat again?" Tarantulas asked slowly.

"The, uh, the luggage car carrying Ash and his friends has escaped," the Nihilator repeated. "It seems to have flown off while we were distracted dealing with the robot on our leg and by you and Chobin's…ah…domestic dispute."

"Ah," Tarantulas said. "Yes, zat's vhat I zought you said." His legs shot out, skewering the unfortunate Nihilator through the eyes, heart, and groin. He then spread his legs out, ripping the communications officer to shreds and showering the room in blood as chunks of the Nihilator's body flew all over the command center. Viers grabbed the nearest piece and started munching on it, while Chobin eagerly rolled over to another one and smashed his face against the side of his sphere repeatedly in a desperate attempt to get at the tidbit. "No more distractions," Tarantulas said as he flipped over and rose up, looking even more terrifying than usual due to the fact that he was covered in blood and that the large amount of smoke wafting from the back of his head indicated that his anger chip had broken again…and yet his happiness chip showed no sign of kicking in anytime soon. "No more non sequiturs or games or silly little diversions. Ve are going to find zat car. And ve are going to destroy it utterly. I vill kill anyone who falters or slows us down in ze slightest manner—yes, even you, Chobin—so let's get out zere and do zis right. Because if ve don't, I vill personally kill each and every vone of you by wrapping you in a cocoon of razor-edged zread, injecting you viz poison zat vill cause you to dissolve from ze inside out, and devour you vhile you are still clinging to life. And zat's only AFTER I perform as many excruciating and needlessly painful experiments zat I can zink of, and trust me, I can zink of a LOT. Do I make myself clear?" The crew nodded nervously. "Good. Let's get cracking, shall ve?"

Eerily calm, he climbed back into his web as his minions, terror driving them, frantically reactivated the Arachnoblast's numerous dormant systems and started forwards again, leaving the little problem of the Decepticon intruder for later. Tarantulas idly noted that Viers was standing a few feet further from him than he had been before and that even his mechanical spiders seemed to be keeping their distance from him, but at that moment he couldn't be bothered to care. He did care when Chobin, seemingly unaffected by his master's speech, continued giggling madly as he rolled around the room until he crashed into one of the operators, smashing his face into the control panel and causing the room to jerk as he accidentally misaligned the stabilizers keeping the bridge steady. The abrupt shift caused Chobin to roll back and forth, bouncing between walls and laughing crazily. "Chobin," Tarantulas said. "Vhat are you doing?"

"Having fun!" Chobin replied.

"Did you not just hear ze lecture and zreat I made a moment ago?" Tarantulas asked.

"Chobin did," Chobin said.

"And you are behaving zis vay in spite of my clear vishes on ze matter because…" Tarantulas prompted.

"Because Chobin wants Doctor to wrap Chobin in a cocoon of razor-edged thread, injecting Chobin with poison that will cause Chobin to dissolve from the inside out, and devour Chobin while Chobin is still clinging to life. And that's only AFTER Doctor performs as many excruciating and needlessly painful experiments on Chobin as Doctor can think of, and trust Chobin, you can think of a LOT. For that matter, so can Chobin!" Chobin explained as he rammed into a weapons officer, causing the Arachnoblast to launch a fusillade of missiles that blew up one of their warships.

"Ah," Tarantulas said. "I see." In a flash, he spat out a line of String Shot at Chobin, wrapping it around his sphere and yanking the Sunflora away from the aggrieved weapons officer with a "Wheeeeee!" Tarantulas flicked his head, flinging the sphere through the air and sending it flying towards a wall. Just before it could crash, Tarantulas spat out a Spider Web, ensnaring Chobin and sticking him to the wall in a net of finely-woven metal mesh.

"Hey, let Chobin down from here!" Chobin cried in alarm, knocking against the side of the sphere and jumping up and down to try and dislodge himself.

"No, I don't zink so," Tarantulas said. "Right now, I don't really have time to indulge you. I'd be perfectly happy to oblige you later by giving you exquisite suffering, but at ze moment I can't be bozzered. I have a job to do, and quite a lot on ze line, _including_ you, and if you can't take zis seriously for even a second zan I can't afford to let you distract me. I'm sorry, Chobin—vell, not really—but zis is for your own good. You'll zank me later. Vell, probably not. I don't really care right now."

"Doctor! Doctor! Doctooooooor!" Chobin cried, pounding on the side of the sphere.

"Shut up, Chobin," Tarantulas said, spitting some more thread at the sphere and covering it up completely. "Hmm. You know, zat felt better zan I expected. Vhere vere ve? Oh yes, zat's right: FIND AND KILL ASH! Vere is he?"

"We have a visual, Doctor!" one of the Nihilators reported as the Arachnoblast rapidly ate up the distance between them and the fleeing car. "It's moving faster than it was before, and I think I can see why: take a look at this!" The main screen lit up to reveal an image of the luggage car…being towed by the engine car!

"Huh, so that's where that thing went," one of the Nihilators said. "I'd almost forgotten about it."

"Vell clearly it hasn't forgotten about us," Tarantulas growled. "Let's pay it back for nearly crashing into us and stealing our target: destroy it! Destroy ZEM ALL!"

"Yes, sir!" the crew chorused, rushing to do just that.

"Our triumph is close at hand," Viers said. "So close that I can taste it. It tastes delicious. Like…victory." He licked his lips.

"…Triumph tastes like victory?" Tarantulas asked in confusion.

"Yes," Viers said.

"Zen vat does victory taste like?" Tarantulas asked.

"Triumph," Viers said as if it were obvious. Tarantulas opened his mouth to ask for further details, remembered his vow not to get distracted, and wisely reconsidered.

As the arachnoid fortress continued its pursuit, the target of their hunt surged forward through the rain and hail and flames and lightning bolts and missiles from enemy ships as they raced towards their destination. "Everyone all right back there?" the chief engineer asked as she monitored the alchemical furnace's power levels, making sure everything was going steady and working properly.

"Yeah, thanks for the save," Ash replied through the magical intercom linking the two cars. "It looked like we were in big trouble for a second back there."

Ritchie nodded. "Yeah, even though the big robot missed us, I thought for sure we were gonna crash and burn."

"I didn't," Cherry said.

"Of course you didn't, you saw the future and knew we'd be fine," Todd said sourly.

"That's right," the Duskull said.

"So why didn't you TELL us we'd be fine?" the Aerodactyl demanded.

"I did," she reminded him.

"…Well, okay, but why didn't you tell us how and _why_ we'd be fine?" Todd asked.

"Soothsayer Union rules state I have to include at least a little vagueness and suspense in my prophecies now and then if I don't want to lose my license as a certified oracle," Cherry explained.

"And the fact that you got a kick out of watching us panic had absolutely nothing to do with it, right?" Rebecca asked wearily.

"Well, maybe a little," Cherry admitted.

The car shook a bit, and those who didn't have the advantage of being able to float tightened their grips on whatever they were hanging onto. "You know, I'd have figured that now that we're hooked up to the engine rather than flying about on our own, the trip would be smoother," Todd complained.

"Running," Tiny said.

"Huh?" Todd said.

"Running. Not flying," Tiny pointed out. "Planes fly. I can fly. _You_ can fly. Trains can't. We are in a train, ergo, we aren't flying."

"…But…we're several thousand feet in the air," Todd said slowly. "Isn't that flying?"

"It would be if we were moving about freely," Palmer said.

"Aren't we?" Ritchie asked.

"No, we're on rails," Tiny said. "If we weren't on rails, we'd be flying. Since we _are_ on rails, though, we're running, not flying."

"But…they're magic rails that appear wherever we want to go," Todd said.

"Yes, which means ze _rails_ are flying, not ze train," Fantina said. "If we turned off ze rails, we'd plummet to our deazhs. We can control ze rails and use zem to set a pazh, and ze car runs down zat pazh. And zerefore it's not flying, since if it _were_ flying it could do so freely, wizout needing ze rails to guide and support it."

"Oh," Ritchie said. "I guess that makes sense."

"Okay, so now that we're hooked up to the engine rather than _running_ about on our own, why isn't the trip smoother?" Todd complained.

"Because we're still in the middle of an impossible storm being bombarded by battleships trying to destroy us while being chased by a giant robot spider?" Palmer pointed out.

"…Oh. Right," Todd said Mareepishly.

"Actually, it _does_ seem a bit smoother," Ash confessed. "I don't think we've been thrown about as much or had to deal with as many violent changes in direction or gravity shifts as we did before."

"That's because now that our two cars are coupled together, the main furnace is boosting the strength of your car's alchemical batteries and reinforcing our shields," the Aron engineer explained. "The combined power of our shields is strong enough to withstand more attacks and bad weather than they would be able to individually. Our weapons have also been boosted, so we're having a slightly easier time answering all the volleys the enemy keeps throwing at us."

"Huh. That's pretty neat," Cruise said.

"It certainly is. Just another reason the Enchanted Express is the best train in the world!" the Ampharos chief engineer said proudly. _That, and it also means I don't have to use up any more of my life-force to keep us going…not yet, anyway…_

"Is it strong enough to take a direct hit from that big spider's cannon?" Ritchie asked.

"Probably," the Magneton engineer said. "We were able to take a few pretty strong blasts from that thing head-on earlier…somehow. I'm still not quite sure how we managed to do that."

Fantina frowned, and the Ampharos bit her lip. "Really? 'mm…zat's odd. I didn't zink your shields were _zat_ strong…"

"Yes, well, I've been running this thing long enough to know how to coax a little more out of her when I need to," the Ampharos said, which wasn't _quite_ a lie. From the frown and the narrowed eyes on Fantina's face (she could see the Mismagius and the rest of the passengers in the luggage car through security cameras linked to her control panel), it was clear the Duchess didn't entirely believe her. She supposed that made sense, since she wasn't sure she would believe herself if she were Fantina either.

"So, how long until we get there? It feels like we've been flying-" Ritchie started.

"Running," everyone else corrected him.

"Right, that," the armored Lucario said, rolling his eyes. "For forever!"

"We'll be there shortly, if the tremendous amount of explosions, skyrocketing energy signatures, and increasingly bad weather ahead of us is anything to go by," the Magneton engineer said. "And when I say tremendous, skyrocketing, and increasingly bad, I _mean_ tremendous, skyrocketing, and increasingly bad. Yikes."

Everyone in the luggage car except for Todd closed their eyes for a moment. They shuddered simultaneously. "What? What is it?" the Aerodactyl asked worriedly.

"Such power…" Fantina murmured. "_Incroyable…_I 'ave felt ze power of evil, and gods, and evil gods. But zis…so much darkness, so much 'atred and rage, bound up in such divinity and power…it is almost unbearable to be'old."

"Yikes…no wonder the elemental spirits have been shrieking in my ears this whole time," Rebecca murmured. "They're getting agitated even worse than when Bellum brought down Niflheim on Dusty Ditch! At least there one element was in supremacy over all, but here? So many different opposing elements forced to blend together in an unnatural conglomerate in the form of this terrible storm…they're screaming in agony."

"Ohhh, so _that's_ what that sound was," Cherry's Gastly said. "I thought that was just Todd screaming like a girl."

"It was Todd screaming like a girl," Cherry said.

"Oh, okay then," the Gastly said.

"HEY!" shouted Todd.

"Daddy…there's…there's so much Shadow up ahead…it's almost too much to handle!" Tiny cried.

"Have you ever seen so much corrupted Aura, Ash?" a shocked Todd inquired. "I thought Articuno alone was bad, but…this?"

"It's nasty, yes," Ash said, anger surging at the thought of what must have been done to Lugia to make his Aura emit such dark power. The Nihilators were going to pay for this. "But I've seen one being with a Shadow Aura even worse than this." He paused, an unwelcome memory flashing through his mind. "Make that two, actually."

"Two?" Todd asked incredulously. "Who?"

"One is Oblivion's Shadow," Ash said. "And the other…" He hesitated. "Is…"

"Yes? Who?" Fantina asked.

Ash fidgeted, and Ritchie, who had quickly caught on to what Ash was talking about, grimaced while Tiny gave his father a worried look. "Um…that's not important…"

"Not important? I'd think that if there were some Shadow Pokémon out there that's not only stronger than the evil gods we're about to fight but apparently the leader of the Nihilators, it would be _very_ important to know about it!" Todd insisted.

"Well, it's not, because that Shadow Pokémon isn't 'out there,'" Ash said firmly.

Todd blinked. "Huh? Where is he, then?"

"Per'aps 'e means it's been defeated?" Fantina suggested.

"Um…yeah. Something like that," Ash said evasively.

"Oh! Well…that's good, right? If something even stronger than the main bad guy has been beaten, then you shouldn't have any trouble fighting him _or_ Lugia, right?" Todd asked, looking relieved.

Ash winced. "…I…wouldn't say that…"

"Then what _would _you say?" the Aerodactyl snapped, getting fed up with the runaround.

"It's you, isn't it?" Palmer asked.

Ash stiffened, Rebecca gasped, Fantina blinked in shock, Ritchie, Cruise and Tiny groaned, and Cherry looked completely unsurprised, which was…unsurprising. Her Gastly hadn't been paying attention because he'd been too busy chewing on some incredibly expensive designer socks that cost thousands of Poké, and looked up in surprise. "Hmm? I miss something?" he muttered through the fabric in his mouth.

"You…you were a Shadow Pokémon?" Todd shrieked in terror, dropping from the ceiling (onto his head) and scuttling away from the Lucario at top speed, which caused him to get caught beneath a pile of falling luggage the next time the car lurched from an evasive maneuver. "Ow…"

"_Merde!_ Ash, you…you never mentioned…" Fantina stammered. "I mean, Lily told me you were concerned zat you were at risk of becoming a Shadow Pokémon because of some bad blood between you and Oblivion's Shadow, but…"

"She didn't mention that part? Huh…guess I'm not surprised," Ash said. "Probably not something she or any of the others want to talk about."

"I can imagine," Palmer said. "I don't suppose you'd want to talk about it now?"

"Now isn't really the time," Ash said.

The Dragonite shrugged. "It's as good a time as any."

Ash sighed wearily. "Okay, look, you guys know by now that I was a human in a past life and was around when the planet got wrecked by the big disaster, right?"

"Yes, you mentioned that the other night," Rebecca recalled. She stiffened. "Wait! You're not telling me that you-"

"What? No, no, no!" Ash protested, realizing what she was implying. "I had nothing to do with that!" _I_ _hope._ "I mean, I was caught up in it, but I didn't cause any of it." _I think._ "Um…basically, Lord Null—which was the name Oblivion's Shadow went by back then—decided for some reason to destroy the world. For whatever reason, he chose to spare my friends and I. Unfortunately, the legendary birds saw this, misinterpreted it as thinking that we were working with Null, and killed most of my friends."

"Right, you said that last night too," Todd said.

"And Lily told me zat ze day before," Fantina said. "And you said zat you killed ze birds in retribution, which is why zey are dead-set on killing you now, and why you are apparently ze only one who can kill zem once and for all."

"Okay," Ash said. "All of that is true, but think about it for a minute. A thousand years ago, I was a human. How could I possibly have killed three elemental gods?"

There was a long pause as they considered this. "Ah," Palmer said finally. "I see."

"Holy crap," Rebecca said.

"Yeah, that's pretty much my reaction when I found out," Ritchie said.

"And…are you still…" Todd asked nervously.

"Of course 'e isn't!" Fantina insisted. "If 'e were, 'e would not be fighting on our side!"

Cruise nodded. "Yeah! If he were a Shadow, he'd be murdering every single one of us right now. In horribly painful ways." Everyone stared at him for a long while. "Oh. Uh…I wasn't supposed to mention that, was I?"

Ritchie facepalmed. "No. You weren't."

"At least you didn't mention how Daddy also killed Darkrai and Cresselia," Tiny said.

"Tiny!" Ash hissed.

"Whoops," Tiny said Mareepishly.

"You _what?"_ Todd screamed.

"Huh. I did not expect that," Palmer said.

"W-wait. You…but…Darkrai is the god of death! How could you…" Rebecca protested.

"Even gods can die," Fantina said.

"Even the god of _death?_" Rebecca asked incredulously.

"Sometimes. Zough not for very long. 'e usually comes back pretty quickly, from what I 'ear," Fantina said.

"Well, he didn't come back quickly from what I did to him," Ash said with a grimace.

"But…why would you do that?" Rebecca asked. "And to Cresselia, too! What, did _they _think you were evil and try to kill your friends too?"

"No, of course not!" Ash said defensively. "Well…okay, Darkrai did kill my mom, but it was an accident. Which I don't blame him for."

"…Ah," Rebecca said vaguely.

"And did Cresselia kill anyone too?" Fantina asked.

"No, she and Darkrai were trying to help, but things got out of hand, my mom got killed, and I sort of…lost it," Ash said unhappily. "And killed all of them."

"Even the ones who tried to help? That wasn't very nice," Todd commented.

"I wasn't exactly in the right state of mind then. When I was Shadow, I just…" Ash paused, trying to think of the right words to express what it had been like. "I just…I wanted to destroy everything. I don't even know why. It wasn't like I was full of hatred or anger—which is weird, because that would be the normal reaction to something like what happened to me—but I was filled by this overwhelming desire to make the world and everything in it go away. Like its very existence offended me somehow. Not that it made me angry, I just…didn't like it, I guess. I don't know how else to describe it."

"Hmm," Palmer said.

"Zat is…troubling," Fantina murmured.

"'Troubling' isn't quite the word I'd use, frankly," Todd said frankly. "More like 'utterly Zubatshit terrifying oh my Arceus get him away from me before he goes crazy and kills us all.' And that's without the profanity."

"You know, comments like that aren't helping Daddy keep from turning into something like that again," Tiny said angrily.

"Eeeep," Todd said, hiding under the pile of suitcases stacked on top of him.

"Is that a serious problem?" Rebecca asked in alarm.

"It…might be," Ash admitted. "Lord Null was able to snap me out of it back then, but whatever he did doesn't seem to have completely cured me. The…anger and negative emotions that triggered my transformation back then are still inside of me. Whenever I'm around Oblivion's Shadow, they instinctively start to come out, due to my—rightly—blaming him for all the bad things that happened to me. If I can't get those emotions under control, there's a chance they'll overwhelm me and make me into that…monster again. It's something the Shadow himself is worried about, actually."

"Why?" Fantina asked, perplexed. "I would zink 'e'd want a powerful Shadow Pokémon strong enough to kill ze gods."

"Maybe he wants one he can actually control? Or is scared of the competition?" Rebecca said. "Probably wants to destroy the world himself…"

"It's not like that. I think," Ash said. "He's rather…obsessed with me for some reason. When I fought him in Treasure Town, he seemed adamant that I find a way to gain better control over my Aura to keep from turning into a Shadow Pokémon again. If I can't, he said he'd kill me. He almost did, actually. I'm not entirely sure why he didn't…"

"Well, I'm glad he didn't," Tiny said, snuggling up to him. "And not just because without you, we wouldn't have been able to purify Dawn _or_ open my heart! Team Aurabolt needs you, Daddy. Heck, the whole world does! And…so do I."

Ash cracked a smile at his son's affection. "Oh, Tiny…" He hugged the Pupitar with his free arm.

"Am I the only one who's considered that our boy there, who is apparently the only one who can stop the big bad Shadow Pokémon out there, is a powder keg who could potentially turn into an even bigger and badder Shadow Pokémon at any minute?" Todd asked frantically.

"He is not a powder keg who could potentially turn into an even bigger and badder Shadow Pokémon at any minute," Cherry said. "If he were, I would know."

"Oh," Todd said.

"So far, I think I'm only at risk of changing if the Shadow shows up, which is pretty unlikely," Ash said. "In the meantime, I've been meditating and performing a series of exercises that will help me to exorcise the darkness within me once and for all. If I can manage that, not only will I no longer be a threat to the people I care about, I'll be the exact opposite of a Shadow Pokémon…maybe the ultimate force for good."

Palmer stirred at this. "You mean…a legendary Shining Pokémon?"

"Oh, you've heard about them?" Ash asked in surprise.

"I've heard of a lot of things," Palmer said cryptically.

"As 'ave I. Do you really zink you can achieve such a feat, Ash?" Fantina asked.

"Well, I certainly intend to try," Ash said.

"I know Daddy can do it!" Tiny said firmly. "If any Pokémon can, it's him!"

"…'mm. Per'aps you are right…" Fantina murmured. "Lily 'as spoken 'ighly of you, as 'ave your ozzer friends. Per'aps…yes…I zink if anyone could do it, it might be you."

"I think so as well," Ritchie said. "It's not going to be easy, though."

"When is anyzing worz doing ever so simple?" Fantina asked sadly.

"Um, could someone please explain what the big deal about a Shining Pokémon is? And why Ritchie can't just use his Aura Guardian mojo to purify Ash normally?" Todd asked.

"I can't, and not just because I don't actually know the purification technique," Ritchie confessed. "The darkness in Ash is too ingrained. It's had at least a thousand years to fester. It's something only he can get rid of."

"Oh," Todd said.

"As for a Shining Pokémon…well, a Shadow Pokémon is basically a Pokémon whose heart has been sealed and is overwhelmed by darkness. Think of the opposite: a Pokémon whose heart is not only fully open, but is filled with light, and spreads that light to others," Ritchie said.

"…Huh. Sounds rather…bright," Todd said.

"Or shiny," Rebecca commented. "Which I suppose is where the name comes from." She frowned. "Wait, then what does that make 'shiny' Pokémon?"

"Pokémon who have different coloration due to chromosomal mutations and possess no special powers whatsoever," Cherry's Gastly said.

"Ah," said Rebecca.

"To become a Shining Pokémon, though, you would need to completely remove all darkness from your body…and not just the darkness that's troubling you now, but the rest of it too, all the weaknesses and flaws and frailties that all mortals have to wrestle with. You would need to perfect your body and spirit, make yourself into something beyond even a superPokémon…certainly no easy feat," Palmer said. "And you believe you can accomplish such a herculean task?"

"It's not a question of 'can I?' so much as my absolutely _having_ to," Ash said resolutely. "While I'm okay now, I'm going to need to confront Oblivion's Shadow sooner or later to defeat the Nihilators and save the world. I may be the only one who _can_ defeat him, both because I'm an Aura Guardian and because we're…connected, somehow. But I can't do that if there's a chance that I'll go mad and try to destroy everything, including my friends, just by getting close to him. So one way or another, I _have_ to do this. Too much depends on it for me to _not_ do it." He decided not to mention the very strong possibility that the darkness was going to consume him anyway no matter what he did if he couldn't turn into a Shining Pokémon. The rest of the passengers looked unnerved enough by the revelation that he was harboring such a danger within him already.

Palmer nodded. "I see. Well, I wish you the best of luck in this endeavor, Ash. It certainly won't be easy, but…it is already clear that you have a strong destiny. It has guided you this far. I don't believe that it would have taken you to this point without giving you a way to save yourself, and the rest of the world."

Ash smiled gratefully. "Thank you, Kairyu."

"This is very fascinating, but—and I'm not saying that I'm, er, doubting that you can do something like that—I don't suppose you, ah, have a backup plan just in case this doesn't, you know, work?" Todd asked anxiously.

"Yes," Ash said. "Somebody will have to kill me."

"…Oh," Todd said.

"It's not going to come to that," Ritchie said firmly.

"Yeah, no way in the Abyss!" Tiny agreed.

"Yeah," Ash said, though he wasn't very certain.

"If it's any consolation, so far I don't foresee them having to do that," Cherry said, noting Ash's doubts.

"Really?" the Lucario asked, perking up. "Then does that mean I'm going to succeed and become a Shining Pokémon?"

"Well…" Cherry fidgeted. "I…haven't actually foreseen that far, to be honest. I'm still a bit too focused on current events to try and peer any further into the future."

"Oh," Ash said, sagging in disappointment.

"But if it's any consolation, I believe you can do it," Cherry said. "From what I know of you, what you've done, what you're _going_ to do…I have faith in you. All of us do." The others nodded in agreement.

Well, except for one. "We do?" Todd asked. Everyone glared at him. "Er, uh, I mean, of course we do. Yeah."

Ash smiled gratefully. "Thank you. Everyone. I…I'll try to live up to your expectations."

"Speaking of expectations, we're coming up on the big battle," the chief engineer said over the intercom, startling them. They'd almost forgotten that she and the other engineers were still there, and had no doubt been listening to everything they had been talking about. "So Ash, if you're going to be fulfilling your destiny or whatever it is that's supposed to happen when we get there, you'd better be ready."

Ash nodded. "I will be. Thank you."

"Good," the chief engineer said.

"And, uh…I don't suppose you guys have some sort of plan for what's going to happen when we get there, do you? I mean, I remember us having an initial plan that we discussed last night, but what with everything that's happened so far since this crazy thing started I'm not sure we can stick to it…" the Aron engineer said.

All eyes turned to Cherry. "I don't suppose you 'ave any zoughts?" Fantina asked.

The oracle dithered. "Weeeell…I do have something, but…I'm not sure you're going to like it…"

"Tell us anyway," the chief engineer said.

Cherry did. She was right. The engineers didn't like it. That didn't mean they weren't going to do it anyway, of course.

…

Several minutes earlier…

While Palmer and Fantina's team had bravely broken Ash, Ritchie, and their sons out of the belly of the Arachnoblast, the other heroes had begun engaging the Shadow legendary birds while the rest of the passengers and fighters in the train cars drove away from the battle as fast as they could, both so as not to get in the way, to keep from being used as targets, and so that they could fulfill their part in the grand stratagem to defeat the Nihilator armada…the true reason that they had split into multiple cars at the onset of the engagement. That left Fantina, Lily, Bow, Briney, Buck, Goldor, Silvia, Butler, Diane, Vladimir, Dean, Bob, Sparky, Happy, Rose, Zippo, and Captain Salty to take on the four corrupted god-birds.

It was not going as well as they would have liked. "Burn in ze fires of perdition!" Fantina shouted as she mustered her power and sent an immense serpentine dragon made of fire snaking across the stormy skies towards Articuno.

"And, um, my fires too!" Lily said, adding her power to Fantina's and causing the fire dragon to grow bigger and stronger and hotter, steam rising from its form as the rain and hail made contact with its mass.

"And let's add a little of Arceus' fiery wrath to the mix, too, brah!" Zippo said as he channeled the power of the Flame Plate, riding his surfboard of molten rock onto the top of the fire dragon, riding on its length rather than the cushion of gravity-defying lava he'd been using so far. His armor flashed and glowed a brilliant red and orange, the flaming wings on his back expanding and blasting outwards to become bigger than Zippo himself was, making it look as if the fire dragon had sprouted wings due to where Zippo was located on its back. The dragon swelled and grew hotter still as it absorbed the power of the Flame Plate, growing claws and fangs and taking on a vaguely semisolid form, fire and light and heat blasting out from it in every direction and causing the rain to evaporate, smaller Nihilator ships to explode, and bigger ships to burst into flames and begin melting. Roaring, its (literally) flaming eyes burning like miniature suns, the great fire wyrm bore down on the much smaller Articuno, preparing to consume the ice bird in a tremendous conflagration.

Articuno, rather than being intimidated by the fearsome spectacle, just smirked. "Fire against an Ice-type? Please. Do you have any idea how clichéd that is?"

"Clichéd, maybe…but totally AWESOME!" Zippo whooped.

"I think _I'll_ be the judge of that," Articuno sneered. "You may think you're such hot stuff—pun fully intended—since you're drawing on a fragment of Arceus' power…but it's just a _piece_ of a god's divine might! Me, on the other hand? I've got all the power of a full deity…plus extra! Bellum's not the _only_ one who can make a localized Ice Age!"

Black flames and ice crystals swirled around her as she spread her wings, gathering her power. Waves of Sheer Cold blasted away from her in every direction, buffeting all the battleships in the vicinity and freezing them solid in an instant, the power from their engines cutting off simultaneously and causing them to plummet to the ice-covered ground below, shattering into millions of pieces upon impact, their glistening fragments twinkling like stars as they flew through the air. The waves battered the fire dragon as well, but although steam rose off its blazing form in great droves, the incredibly low temperatures didn't seem to phase it in the slightest. "Ha! That the best you can do?" Zippo taunted, a corona blazing out from his armor.

"No, I'm just getting warmed up…or should I say, _cooled_ off?" Articuno jeered as she opened her beak, the air around her becoming so cold that it actually froze solid, encasing her in a shell of black ice. That ice then shattered as she fired her Shadow Chill directly into the gaping jaws of the fire dragon rushing towards her.

The effects were almost instantaneous. Much to the surprise of Zippo, Fantina, and Lily (as well as the dragon), the great flaming mass was abruptly and without warning transformed into a thick mass of solid, jagged black ice, causing it to resemble a rather impressive ice sculpture, the kind that you would usually find at the centerpiece of some grand banquet or party, only several thousand times bigger than the usual sculptures, and made of rather garish and ugly material. The dragon remained suspended in the air for a fraction of a second, an almost comic expression of surprise frozen (ha) on its face, before it came crashing to the ground, shattering into several thousand large and rather sharp fragments of frozen fire. A dazed Zippo tumbled from the wreckage and crashed onto the icy ground, the heat given off by his armor flash-thawing it and causing it to turn into water vapor instantly. "O…kay, I was not expecting that to happen…" he murmured as steam rose from his armored frame.

"D-did she just _freeze fire?_" a shocked Lily said.

"She did," Fantina said.

"But…but that's…" Lily paused. "I was going to say impossible, but we saw Shivhel do it yesterday, so I suppose it's not that hard to believe, but Shivhel is the ruler of an entire other dimension, while Articuno is a lower-tier ice goddess! She shouldn't have been able to do that!"

"Lower-tier?" Articuno snarled angrily. "I'll show _you_ lower-tier, bitch!" Ice shards started swirling around her again.

"You will not talk to 'er in zat manner!" Fantina shouted angrily, firing a Psybeam and Dark Pulse from her eyes while flinging meteoric fireballs at Articuno from all angles.

Articuno's Shadow Aura flared outwards, waves of cold radiating from her body that consumed the attacks, causing them to freeze solid and shatter. "I'll talk to her any way I want!" Articuno retorted, flapping her wings and generating a super-powerful Blizzard that buffeted the two Ghosts, causing them to grimace as the freezing winds and snow pushed them back. "What're you gonna do about it?"

"Plenty!" Fantina retorted, bursting into flame, the fire surrounding her growing larger and turning into a big flaming version of herself, which launched off of her body and streaked towards Articuno, leaving a trail of fire behind it.

"As can I!" Lily said, firing several Shadow Balls in rapid succession.

"Don't forget to leave some for me!" Zippo quipped as he blasted off from the ground like a fiery rocket shooting towards Articuno.

"What, this again?" Articuno sneered. "You just don't get it, do you? THERE IS NO FLAME STRONG ENOUGH TO MELT MY COLD!" She demonstrated this by unleashing another Shadow-infused blast of Sheer Cold, the Ice energy freezing and knocking away the attacks as well as sending the three Pokémon flying, crashing into the ground or nearby battleships.

"Ugh…okay…this is not going at all the way I thought it would…" Zippo grunted as he pulled himself out of the trench of melted rock he had plowed through the frozen soil.

"_Merde_…at zis rate, we can't even touch 'er!" Fantina growled in frustration as she pulled herself out of the battleship hull she'd been imbedded in.

"I don't suppose we could summon Surtrit again?" Lily said half-jokingly.

"I'm afraid we 'ave neizzer ze time or ze power," Fantina said regretfully. "A good zought, zough."

"But not good enough!" Articuno said as she gathered her power. "Bellum will be disappointed that she wasn't the one to kill you, but at least she'll have the satisfaction of knowing that you were killed by her element!" She fired a Shadow Chill at Lily and Fantina, the blast of dark ice engulfing and completely destroying the battleship they had been flung into.

"I'm afraid she will 'ave to be disappointed for a different reason!" Fantina commented as she and Lily emerged from a portal behind the cackling Articuno. "I do not intend to die zis day, or _any_ day, and certainly not by ice!" Her eyes flashed, and the air around Articuno burst into flame, causing the ice goddess to be surrounded by a second aura.

"Aaaahhh! Aaaaaggghhh! It burns! It burns…NOT!" Articuno screeched, Sheer Cold blasting out from her body and dissipating the flames as well as knocking the sorceresses away. She folded her wings around herself, and a few hundred very large, very sharp Ice Shards materialized around her in rings that spun outwards and flung themselves at the duo. Lily and Fantina countered by summoning lots of fireballs to destroy the Shards, but that just gave Articuno the time she needed to prepare another Shadow Chill…

Which she didn't get a chance to fire, due to Zippo flinging several fireballs at her from the ground, throwing off her concentration. "Hey, ice bitch! Leave the ladies alone!" he shouted up at her.

"Fine with me!" Articuno said, firing the Shadow Chill she'd been preparing at the armored Charmeleon instead.

Zippo just barely managed to dodge the attack by causing a lava geyser to erupt right underneath him, flinging him high into the air before the Shadow Chill could hit the ground, freezing it solid and turning it into a jagged mass of black ice. He flew higher and higher, propelled by flames bursting out of his feet, and raised his hands above him, concentrating his power into a fireball cupped between his claws. "Have some of this, then!" he shouted as he called upon the might of the Flame Plate, causing the fireball to swell up until it was several hundred times his size, becoming a miniature sun that radiated heat and light across the battlefield. "Solar Spirit Bomb Destroyer! Haaaaaa!" He flung the gigantic fireball at the startled Articuno.

"…Why did 'e yell zat just before zrowing zat?" asked the confused Fantina.

"Leo does it too, sometimes. It's just one of those 'things' of theirs, I guess," Lily said.

"Oh please, what is it with you males and always trying to prove who has the bigger balls?" Articuno sneered. "I've told you before, fire doesn't work on me!" To prove this, she blasted the giant ball of flame with her Shadow Chill, freezing it solid.

"I didn't expect it to!" Zippo said as he dove at the frozen fireball like a flaming missile, smashing into it and bursting out the other side, causing the whole thing to explode in thousands of huge flaming fragments of ice as he shot towards the startled Articuno and delivered an incredibly powerful flaming punch right to her face. His fist, and the flames surrounding it, froze on impact, but the force behind the punch was still strong enough to have an effect on the corrupted deity, cracking her beak and sending her plummeting to the ground, smashing into it hard enough to crater it, the crater then icing over as contact with her body caused the earth to freeze around her. "Booya!" Zippo shouted as he landed nearby hard enough to crater the ground as well, though the earth ignited and melted rather than freezing over. He frowned when he noticed his arm was still frozen. He tried to melt it off by summoning his Plate's power, and was understandably alarmed when, although the rest of his body burst into flame, his arm was still covered in ice. "What the…oh, that ain't good."

"And neither is this!" Articuno shrieked as she rose from her crater, ice chunks and snowflakes swirling around her. "I'm gonna deep-freeze you so hard not even that chintzy armor of yours can thaw you out!"

"Hey, the Flame Plate is _not_ chintzy!" Zippo said, insulted.

"It is on you!" Articuno retorted, firing her Shadow Chill, the terrain the beam passed over hardening and shattering tumultuously due to the intensely cold temperatures generated by the attack and its close proximity to the ground. Mustering his power, fire blazing out all around him, Zippo spewed a Blast Burn, an attack he technically shouldn't have known how to use yet but was capable of thanks to the armor he was wearing. The two incredibly powerful elemental attacks collided…

And, much to Zippo's horror, did not clash the way he had expected. Rather than the two attacks struggling against each other for ground as each combatant pumped as much of power as they could into it, Articuno's attack immediately overwhelmed his, though not in the way such conflicts usually did. The instant his Blast Burn made contact with the Shadow Chill, the incredibly powerful stream of fire started freezing solid, beginning at the point of contact and racing down towards his mouth. _Oh, crap!_ He thought, quickly cutting off the feed and jumping to the side before he could get frozen solid. Undeterred, Articuno flapped her wings, causing the frozen fire to shatter, pelting Zippo with thousands of shards of jagged ice. If it weren't for his armor, he would probably have been shredded to pieces within seconds. Laughing, Articuno rose into the air and dove towards him, Aura flaring up as she used Shadow Rush…

Only to vanish into a portal that opened directly in her path before she could smash into Zippo. Instead, she crashed head-first into the side of one of the derelict battleships littering the ground, causing the cold-weakened structure to collapse on her with an intense groan, burying her beneath several thousand tons of solid metal, which promptly transformed into ice due to the intense cold her body radiated, encasing her in a frozen tomb. "Wow!" Zippo said as Lily and Fantina floated down towards him. "That was pretty slick, dudette!"

"Thank you," Lily said with a flush. "Um…I don't suppose that took care of her, did it?"

"No," Fantina and Zippo both said, not in the least bit surprised when the giant ice mass shattered in a tremendous eruption of Shadow Aura, the shockwave and wind generated by the blast buffeting them and sending great clouds of snow and dust into their faces.

"YOU DIE NOW!" Articuno shrieked in fury as she rose into the air, firing a Shadow Chill at them.

It never got there. Lily opened another portal, intercepting the blast. A second portal opened up right behind Articuno, causing her to get hit full-force by her own attack, causing a massive explosion of Shadow Aura as, with a startled squawk, Articuno found herself frozen solid by her own power. She plummeted to the ground, wings stiff and rigid and completely incapable of stopping her from falling into the debris remaining from the battleship she'd crashed into and destroyed, specifically a very large and very sharp and narrow spike that would probably skewer her and/or split her in half if she landed on it…

So it was rather unfortunate that just a second before she could fall on the jagged point the ice on her shattered and she rose back into the air, laughing uproariously. "Ha! Psyche! Like I'd really get damaged by my own attack? Hahahaha, I really had you losers going there for a second, didn't I?"

"No, actually, I was pretty much expecting that the whole time," Zippo said.

"Yes, so did I," Fantina said.

"Um…me too…" Lily lied.

"Oh…well…_I_ thought it was funny," Articuno sniffed.

"Zat is because you 'ave an atrocious sense of 'umor," Fantina said distastefully.

"Yeah, nobody likes a troll," Zippo agreed.

"Huh? But I thought she was an ice bird. Didn't we take care of all the trolls yesterday?" asked a confused Lily.

"What? No, babe, not that kind of…never mind," Zippo grunted. "Woulda thought your boyfriend would've explained that to you already."

"Well, he won't get time to now, because I'm going to kill-" Articuno started, only to be cut off when a huge battleship crashed into her from behind, plastering her body against its prow as it smashed into the ground, driving her headfirst into the frozen soil as it plowed a deep furrow through the earth that stretched for several kilometers and pressed her harder and harder between the ship's hull and the ground before it finally came to a groaning halt some distance away, wobbled, then toppled over, pinning her beneath it.

There was a pause. "Huh," Zippo said after a moment. "I did not see that coming."

"That was the idea," Butler said as he and Diane appeared beside them.

"Yes, we didn't want her to see us and get out of the way before we could hit her," Diane said. "Do you have any idea how hard it is to pilot one of those things with just the two of us? They're intended to be flown by crews numbering in the hundreds."

"Ah, so _zat's_ where ze two of you vanished to," Fantina said, impressed. "I was wondering where you were."

"My apologies, Your Grace, but it took longer than we thought to commandeer a vessel we judged to be of large enough mass to deal significant damage to Articuno," Butler said graciously. "And we experienced a little…resistance to our theft that took longer than we anticipated to settle."

"Zat's all right, I zink ze results speak for zemselves," Fantina said, nodding at the great metal hulk lying in the near distance.

"Most definitely," Lily agreed, eyes wide.

"…Wait. Waitwaitwait. Dude, are you telling me that you and Diane, by your lonesome, broke into one of those mondo big airborne aircraft carriers, killed just about everyone onboard, and hijacked it all so that you could ram it into Articuno?" Zippo asked, awed.

"That pretty much sums it up," Diane said.

"…That. Is. SO. TOTALLY RADICAAAAAAAAAAL!" Zippo gushed. "Where did you even learn how to _do_ something like that?"

"Oh, the Butler family has trained itself for ages how to handle virtually any crisis to protect our charges. You never know when a situation might come up when you need to drop an airship on something, after all, so you should know in advance how to go about doing it if you should ever find yourself needing to do just that," Butler said.

"And its standard education at the school I went to," Diane added.

Lily stared at her, dumbfounded. "They teach Pokémon how to do something like that at maid school?"

Diane nodded. "Yes. It was one of my favorite lessons next to learning how to disarm a thermonuclear bomb; a variety of spells capable of turning a Pokémon inside out, and how to get stains out of those hard-to-reach places in our places of employ."

"…Ah," Lily said faintly.

"Ze education system in Fichina is very forward-zinking," Fantina said smugly. "I should know, I 'elped revamp most of it ages ago."

"That's so much cooler than what _I_ learned at school!" Zippo said enviously. "Can I enroll at the place you went to?"

"Sure, but you'd need to have either a ton of cash or come from a distinguished family, possess the ability to perform magic, and be able to look good in a maid's outfit, none of which are criteria I believe you meet," Diane said.

"What? Aw, come on!" Zippo moaned.

"I thought you said the education system in Fichina was forward-thinking," Lily said.

"It is," Fantina said. "Just not _zat_ forward-zinking." She frowned at the battleship husk lying nearby. "Is it just me, or are we forgetting somezing?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, totally! That thing hasn't exploded yet!" Zippo said. "Big things like that are _always_ supposed to explode after a big crash!"

"Well, zat is easily rectified," Fantina said, her eyes flashing.

A tremendous explosion erupted from around the rear of the battleship, followed by another explosion, and another, in a massive chain of conflagrations that burst out all over the vessel, ripping it to pieces bit by bit before finally vaporizing the derelict in a single, overwhelming blast that melted all the ice in the vicinity, tore a crater into the landscape, caused a ringing in their ears, and would have blackened their skins if Diane hadn't thoughtfully generated a protective force field beforehand. "Oh my," said an impressed Lily.

"Duuuuuude," Zippo said, drooling.

"An impressive display as always, Your Grace," Butler said.

"Zank you, Butler, I try," Fantina said proudly.

"How did you do that?" wondered the amazed Lily.

"Oh, I just ignited all ze fuel tanks and ammunition stores simultaneously," Fantina said.

Zippo snapped his claws. "Darn, I shoulda thought of that! Oh well, maybe next time."

"That _is_ impressive," Lily said. She paused. "But, um…now that the ship's been destroyed, doesn't that mean there's nothing left to trap Articuno?"

"Yes, but we all know she would 'ave gotten out eventually anyway," Fantina said reasonably. "At least zis way we may 'ave actually done some damage to 'er. Or at ze very least, pissed 'er off, which is good enough in my book."

Diane frowned. "You don't believe that finished her?"

"No," Fantina, Lily, and Zippo said deadpan as the flames crackling in the ruined crater turned purple, froze solid, and shattered in a tremendous explosion of Shadow Aura as Articuno emerged from the iced-over inferno like a phoenix, which was unusual because that was usually Moltres' thing.

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" Articuno screamed, her Shadow Aura going wild and crackling all over the place, losing the avian shape it had previously held as her rage skyrocketed. "You…you dropped a fucking _battleship_ on me? What the _**FUCK**__?_ Nobody drops a battleship on me and lives to get away with it! In fact, here! Let me return the favor! See how _you_ like it!" She fired a Shadow Chill at a battleship passing by, freezing it solid and causing it to start falling towards the five Pokémon beneath it.

"Aw, crap," Zippo said.

"I've got this!" Lily said, opening a portal. "Come on, everyone through!"

"Zat won't be necessary, dear," Fantina said calmly.

Lily blinked. "It won't?"

"No. Diane? Butler?" Fantina asked her servants, extending phantasmal tendrils to either side of her.

The Kirlia and Dusclops moved to flank her, each grabbing one of her tendrils. "Ready, Your Grace," Diane said.

"Good. Let us show what we do to people who try to drop battleships on _us_, shall we?" Fantina said, eyes glowing. Butler and Diane's eyes glowed as well. And then the falling ship began to glow, as well as slow, and gradually it came to a halt several hundred meters above them, suspended in the air by the trio's combined Psychic.

Zippo's jaw dropped. "Duuuuuuuuuuude."

"O-oh my goodness!" cried the astonished Lily.

"Wh-what? No way! That's not possible!" the shocked Articuno squawked. "That thing's gotta weigh a gajillion tons! How can you possibly lift that much?"

"Zere are…advantages to being ze most powerful enchantress in ze world," Fantina grunted, sweat rolling down her face and tension clear in every inch of her body as she struggled to maintain all the power she needed to keep the battleship floating above them. Diane and Butler were in much the same state, but looked far more strained, since they weren't as powerful as their mistress. In spite of this, they stood tall, albeit trembling a little from the sheer amount of energy they were exerting to defy gravity. "And zis…'appens to be one of zem!" Eyes flashing, she channeled her and her servants' power into the vessel overhead with a great yell, _flinging_ it at Articuno with all her might.

Articuno's eyes widened in horror. "Oh, snap!" She fired an Aurora Beam at the giant frozen hulk, hoping to shatter it before it could reach her. Unfortunately, one of Lily's portals quickly snapped open to intercept the beam, the other end opening elsewhere and shooting the attack harmlessly off into the distance. By the time the portal closed, the frozen ship was too close for Articuno to destroy without still getting hit by the resulting debris, so she frantically turned and started flying away as fast as she could, using Tailwind to boost her speed…

Only to fly right into another of Lily's portals which turned her 180 degrees, causing her to pop out right in front of the ship, heading straight towards it. Screaming in panic, she flapped her wings desperately, trying to brake or turn around…but it was too late to change course, and she smashed right into the ship. Only a few seconds later, it smashed her into the ground, its frigid form fragmenting and collapsing on top of itself, burying her beneath its tremendous mass and sealing her in an icy tomb. (Again.)

"…That was even cooler than the first time!" Zippo squealed gleefully.

"Zanks. I try," Fantina panted as Butler and Diane released their grip on her tendrils, all three of them sagging and looking exhausted from the feat they had just performed. Butler needed to plant one of his hands on the ground to support herself, Diane looked as if she could barely stand, and Fantina seemed to be having difficulty staying in the air.

"F-Fantina!" Lily cried in alarm, seeing how worn-out her mentor was.

"What, don't we merit any concern?" Diane huffed, not really sounding very miffed.

"D-don't worry…I'll be fine," Fantina panted.

"Ahem," Butler said.

"_We'll_ be fine," Fantina amended quickly, conjuring three vials of her golden-hued energy-restoring drink. Diane and Butler each gratefully grabbed a flask. "Skaol!" In unison, they chugged down the potions. The effects of the elixirs were instantaneous. The weariness went out of their bodies, and they stood (or floated) tall with renewed strength and vigor, a confident gleam in their eyes.

"Ahhh, that's much better," Diane said in relief, cracking her neck.

"Yes, I almost feel like I could do that again…not right away, of course," Butler agreed.

"Mmm, I zink zat brew was especially good…I must remember to always add a dash of cilantro in ze future, it really 'elps ze flavor," Fantina said with a smile.

"That must be some pretty potent juice," said an impressed Zippo. "Can I try some?"

"'Ow old are you?" Fantina asked.

"Twenty-three, and I have the ID to prove it," Zippo lied, showing the Mismagius a clearly forged ID card.

Fantina examined it for a moment. "Sorry, you're underage."

"What?" Zippo protested incredulously. "But I'm twenty-three!"

"I thought you were the same age as Leo," said the confused Lily.

"Exactly, twenty-three!" Zippo insisted.

Lily frowned. "That's funny, I could have sworn he said he was-"

"TWENTY. THREE," Zippo repeated loudly. "Which, last time I checked, is well over the age limit for drinking! Or are the rules for that different in your country?"

"Yes, but it depends on ze potency of ze drink in question," Fantina said. "As a magician ages, zey grow in power and magical resistance. As a result, some of ze most powerful and dangerous potions can only be consumed by a mage who 'as accumulated many years' worzh of experience over zeir lifetime. Zis little concoction is one of zem."

"Oh," Zippo said, crestfallen. "Well, how old do I have to be to get a sip?"

"Over two hundred years old," Butler said.

"What? No fair! I'm gonna be dead by then! Well, unless I become immortal. Or undead," Zippo said. "Which I fully intend to do. But still! That's a long time to wait!"

"Many of ze best zings in life only come to zose who wait for zem," Fantina said sagely. The Charmeleon sulked.

"Over two hundred? Really? But…then why did Diane get some?" a puzzled Lily asked, looking at the Kirlia. "She can't be nearly that old…can she?"

"I certainly can," Diane said. "My kind are naturally long-lived, and my magical powers, along with the Duchess's beauty treatments and Fichina's magic-charged atmosphere, has extended my lifespan even more."

"Then why haven't you evolved into a Gardevoir and become a total hottie?" Zippo asked.

Butler glared at him ominously. "Are you saying she isn't one now?"

"Wh-what? Er, uh, no, I-I just meant that, ah…" Zippo stammered, flushing.

"I've chosen to remain this way for the time being because for now I'm happier being cute and pretty than drop-dead gorgeous," Diane said. "It's easier to do my job when I have less Pokémon staring at me all the time."

"…Considering your outfit, I'd assume they'd do that anyway," Lily said.

"I know I am!" Zippo said.

Diane shrugged. "Comes with the job. That, and Butler likes it."

They looked at Butler, who fidgeted. "…I do not."

"Yes you do," Diane said.

"I do not!" Butler insisted.

"Yes you do," Fantina said.

"Yes, Mistress," Butler grumbled, sagging.

The downed battleship exploded in a blast of purple ice and Shadow Aura as an even more pissed-off than before Articuno rose into the air, screaming in fury. "Oh, I'd almost forgotten about her," Diane said in mild surprise. "I guess she couldn't take a hint and just stay down, could she?"

"I! HAVE! HAD! IT! UP! TO! HERE! WITH! YOU!" Articuno shrieked, gathering her power, air crystallizing around her. "DIE! DIE! DIE! _DIE! __**DIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEE!**_" She unleashed a blast of Ice energy so powerful that it froze everything in its path, even the air, as it rushed towards the group.

"Okay, now _this_ I can handle!" Zippo said, powering up his armor, flames jetting from vents all over his body.

"As can we. Lily? Prepare yourself!" Fantina commanded as flames danced around her.

"R-right!" Lily said, nodding nervously, embers sparking to life around her.

With a mighty roar, Zippo punched the earth, causing a fissure to spread out on either side of him, a fissure which erupted into a tumult of lava that shot into the air, rising hundreds of feet over them. Diane and Butler used their Psychic abilities to hold the lava in place, shaping it into a molten wall while Lily and Fantina used their fire magic to keep the lava hot so it wouldn't cool and harden, and Zippo kept calling forth more lava from the earth to generate the wall. The wave of cold energy smashed into the fiery wall, causing everyone to flinch and grit their teeth as the shock ran through their bodies, the wall bulging inwards as the cold pressed inexorably forwards, patches beginning to cool off and harden as the super-cold temperatures began overwhelming the wall's heat.

"Unnggghhh…it's so…_cold_," Lily gasped, sweat rolling down her face as she struggled to keep the fire burning hot enough to stave off the deep freeze.

"Concentrate, Lily!" Fantina encouraged her. "Come on, now! We survived Bellum, and Shiv'el, and Fimbulvintr! We can survive zis as well!"

"…Y-yes…of course…of course we can!" Lily said, renewed confidence surging through her and filling her with new power. "Articuno is powerful, and her cold is deadly…but as evil and strong as she may be, she is nothing compared to my mother! And if I could withstand her…then I can withstand this, as well!" Her hair stiffened and flew out behind her as her face screwed up in concentration, the embers around her swelling up into full-grown fireballs. Her power and courage poured into the wall, causing the already red-hot lava to grow even hotter, its temperature rising to the point that it became difficult to look at. As it did so, steam started rising from it in great droves as it repelled the cold front, the cooling portions melting under the assault of the renewed heat, the inward curve straightening out and standing tall once more.

"Yeah! We're doing it!" Zippo said giddily.

"Which means it's time for us to stop defending…and renew our offensive!" Butler said, thrusting his hands forward.

As if he had pushed it himself (which, technically, he had) the wall of lava surged away from them, rushing across the battlefield towards the startled Articuno. Recovering quickly, the ice bird clenched her beak and shot forward in a Shadow Rush, seeing no point in trying to outrun or outmaneuver the wave of fire. She smashed right into it…

And the wave of lava instantly flash-froze, turning to stone, then transmuting into ice, then shattering as Articuno flew right through it, Murkrowing triumphantly. "Hahahahaha! Don't you idiots get it? For the last time: FIRE! DOES! NOT! WORK! ON! ME!" she shouted gleefully.

"…Hrmm. That could be a problem," Butler murmured.

"Geez, what does it take to put that bitch down already?" Zippo asked incredulously. "We've hit her with, like, three battleships! Well, technically two, she hit one by herself, but still! What, did they reinforce her bones with adamantium or something?" He paused to consider this. "Actually, yeah, I could see them doing that…"

"Well, Ash did say it's foretold that only he can defeat Articuno and the other birds…which I suppose is why we can't do it," Lily lamented.

Diane sighed. "I hate prophecies like that. They always keep us from solving problems we should be able to handle on our own."

"Well, if only Ash can do it, where is he? Shouldn't he have gotten here already?" Zippo complained.

"The last time I checked, they ran into a little trouble," Lily said. "But they're on their way! They should be here soon!...I think…"

"And what're we supposed to do about Articuno in the meantime? We can't even scratch her!" Zippo griped.

"We fight," Fantina said, flames forming around her. "And we keep fighting until our friends—and my ozzer 'alf—arrive, and we can put an end to all zis. It may take a while, and it may 'urt a bit, but remember: she isn't ze only one who will get back up no matter 'ow many times we are knocked down!"

"…Heh. Good point. Okay! Yeah, we can do this!" Zippo exulted, clenching his unfrozen fist and causing flames to blast out of his armor. "And maybe if we beat the crap out of her for a while, my arm will go back to normal! I mean, evil enchantments usually break after their casters are dead, right?"

"Actually, that only happens with amateurs," Butler said.

Lily nodded in agreement. "The really experienced ones, like my Mother, ensure that their curses or spells will continue working even if something should happen to them. And Articuno's a deity, so…"

Zippo sagged. "Oh. I see."

"Don't worry, I'll take a look at it later. If it 'asn't worn off by zen, I'll see what I can do," Fantina offered.

"Thanks," Zippo said gratefully.

"And if Her Grace can't, there's always amputation," Butler suggested.

"Butler!" Diane hissed as Zippo paled.

"What? We can grow him a new one!" Butler said.

"I'd, uh, rather it not come to that, if it's all right with you," Zippo said weakly.

Butler shrugged. "All right. Just thought you should keep your options open."

Zippo thankfully did not have to reply to the Dusclops's 'helpful' suggestion, because it was then that Articuno finally reached them, and the battle began anew.

Meanwhile, the fight against Zapdos was still going strong, black lightning bolts splitting the sky and radiating from the dark thunderbird's form as he battled against Rose, Bob, Happy, and Vladimir. Since Bob couldn't fly, they'd decided the best thing they could do with him was to throw him onto Zapdos's back and allow the simple-minded mutt to both distract the thunderbird by savaging him repeatedly, but also serve a crucial purpose: thanks to his Lightningrod special ability, all of Zapdos's Electric-type attacks would automatically strike him no matter who Zapdos directed them at, forcing the god-bird to rely on other moves if he were to properly engage the other three. Unfortunately, this did not dissuade him in the slightest from using his ultimate attack, Shadow Bolt, since it was a Shadow-type move rather than an Electric-type one. However, it was a little tricky for him to concentrate long enough to charge up a Shadow Bolt when there was an overly large vampire dog on his back that kept clawing and biting and _just wouldn't get off._

"Just get off already!" Zapdos snarled in frustration as he did a number of rapid-spin barrel rolls to try to fling Bob off, pouring teravolt after teravolt into the Electrike in the process. Bob, refusing to lose his grip, just dug his claws in deeper to the bird's back while wedging his body tighter between the lightning-shaped metal blades sticking out at odd angles, not caring how they cut into his hide as he continued savaging the bird with his jaws, blood and froth foaming from his mouth. Zapdos's Shadow Aura, his natural electric field, and the extremely strong Electric attacks he kept pumping into Bob ravaged the Electrike's body, doing immense damage despite his own Electric-type due to their sheer power, but thanks to his vampiric resilience and regenerative powers, the healing spells Rose kept casting on him, and the fact that he was too stupid to feel pain, Bob didn't even notice, and kept up his relentless assault. Zapdos howled in pain and fury; the Electrike's attacks hurt, and he had thought he was beyond pain by now. Not only was he a deity, but a Shadow Pokémon, and one of the mightiest of all the ones in the Nihilator army! How could this one measly undead runt be causing him so much trouble and agony? "How can this one measly undead runt be causing me so much trouble!" he shouted angrily as he flipped over as he glided just above the deck of a battleship, pressing his back against the hull as he went by and scraping Bob against the surface in a desperate attempt to either squish or knock him off. Although there was a tremendously ear-grating screech and lots of sparks from his metal blades scratching against the hull—as well as the constant arcs of electricity he kept giving off—Bob refused to be swayed from his course, and kept on biting and biting, as if nothing else in the world mattered. (And to be fair, to him, it probably didn't.)

"Because he's a very good dog, and on top of that, a loyal servant of the Mistress!" Vladimir declared, amazed to find himself actually proud of the lowest and stupidest of his little brood for the first time in his unlife. "You Shadow Pokémon may think you're such hot stuff because you're filled with the powers of darkness…but so are we, and it's a _cleaner_ darkness, one untouched by the taint that has twisted and closed your hearts! Bob may be the lowest and stupidest of my minions—and he has an irritating habit of marking territory on my coffin!—but I'd take him over any of your lot any day, for even a mutt as stupid as Bob is worth ten, no, TWENTY of your Nihilators! Keep at him, Bob! Wear him down! That's the way!"

"He's doing remarkably well," Happy commented as she, Vladimir, and Rose chased after Zapdos, who at the moment seemed to be more focused on dislodging Bob than on fighting them. "Up until now, I had questioned what good it would be bringing him up here—especially since he can't fly—but he's proving himself admirably!"

"Indeed, he's even surpassed my expectations," Vladimir agreed. "To be honest, I didn't know he had it in him. It just goes to show you that every vampire, no matter how odd or bizarre or brainless they are, can have their use!"

"Even the ones that sparkle?" Rose asked as she cast more healing spells on Bob to help repair the constant damage being on Zapdos's back was doing to him.

"No," Vladimir said coldly. "Those can go straight to the Abyss."

"Oh…right," the Taillow said timidly, deciding not to mention that she was a _Midnight_ fan and firmly ensconced in Team Eddie.

"Gah…you…you stupid…grr…" Clenching his beak in pain, Zapdos decided to take desperate measures. Swooping over to the nearest battleship, he positioned himself in front of the bridge, startling the crew as he hovered in place before them. A bolt of electricity shot from the tip of his beak into the structure, causing the lights to flicker and the consoles to start flashing and sparking wildly, before abruptly Zapdos's voice burst out from a speaker. "Hey, you guys! I need a favor!"

The Nihilators looked at the speaker in surprise, then the bird outside their window, then at the speaker again. "Uh, who is this?" the captain asked cautiously.

"It's me, you idiots! Zapdos!" the voice snarled.

The Nihilators looked at the bird outside their window, then the speaker, then the bird again. "But…you're outside. And your mouth isn't moving. How are you talking to us?" the communications officer whose instruments were somehow being commandeered asked suspiciously.

"I'm using my power over electricity to send an electrical pulse into your systems causing it to generate a signal pattern that resembles my voice, allowing me to communicate with you electronically," Zapdos explained.

"…That is so cool!" the communications officer said, impressed.

"Ooh, can you modulate the signal to sound like anyone? Do an impression of Doctor Tarantulas! That'll be hilarious!" one of the Nihilators said giddily.

"What? Seriously? You want me to use my awesome power over all things electrical to play a cheap party trick?" Zapdos said incredulously.

"Yes! Do it! Do it! Do it!" the Nihilator said.

"No, I'm not doing it!" Zapdos said.

"Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!" all the Nihilators on the bridge chanted.

"NO! SHUT UP!" Zapdos shouted, causing the console to explode, instantly killing the communications officer, and causing bolts of electricity to lash out and strike everyone nearby, frying their consoles as well and electrocuting them to death. (Well, except for one guy who was a Ground-type Krokorok, he just got a little singed.) Another console started speaking, and the thunderbird's scratchy voice rang from the speaker. "Er. Oops. That wasn't supposed to happen," Zapdos said, embarrassed.

The captain sighed. "Is there something we can help you with, Lord Zapdos?" he asked politely, wisely deciding it wouldn't be a good idea to yell at a legendary Pokémon for killing some of his crew (not that he was upset about losing them, they were expendable, but he'd also done a lot of damage to the bridge in the process) and causing the storm that was currently wreaking havoc on his systems and making things very difficult for everyone in the fleet.

"Yes, actually," Zapdos said, his mood improving due to finding someone who seemed to know how to treat a guy with respect. "I need you to get a Mankey off my back, except it's not a Mankey, but an Electrike. See?" He turned around, showing Bob off to everyone on the bridge. "I've done everything I can think of to try to get rid of him, but he just. Won't. Quit! So I was wondering if you could do something?"

The captain stared at the vampiric dog clinging to the thunder god's back for a moment, wondering which of the many choices he had made throughout his life had led him to this rather bizarre moment. "Well, I, ah, suppose I could send someone out to help pull him off…" he said slowly.

"Nah, that won't work. He's pretty tenacious! And besides, I'm pretty sure my Shadow Aura and electric field would fry anyone who got within a few feet of me," Zapdos said.

"I could do it," the Krokorok volunteered.

"I repeat: I'm pretty sure my SHADOW AURA and electric field would fry anyone who got within a few feet of me," Zapdos repeated in annoyance.

"Oh. Right," the Krokorok said Mareepishly.

"Well, what can we do, then?" the captain asked dubiously. "I suppose we could try one of our crane arms, but I think your electricity would short it out…"

"Don't worry, I've already thought of a plan. It's pretty simple, really," Zapdos explained, turning back around to face the bridge. "I want you to shoot me."

"…What?" the captain asked, stupefied.

"Ooh, I'm already liking this plan!" a weapons officer said giddily.

"I want you to shoot me," Zapdos repeated. "I'll fly out a bit and turn my back to you so that you can aim your cannons at this dumb mutt. He's pretty tough, and he's survived a lot more than I expected him to, but I highly doubt he can survive a few direct hits from your cannons, considering how those things are designed to rip other ships to shreds and blow chunks out of the landscape!"

"I'm _really_ liking this plan!" the weapons officer said, even more giddily.

"But, uh, Lord Zapdos, won't you, um, get…well…hit, too?" the captain asked.

"Yeah, why? What, are you insinuating that I can't take a few shots?" Zapdos asked, the console started crackling ominously.

"N-no, of course not! It's just, er, not every day someone _asks_ us to shoot them in the back," the captain said quickly.

"Hmm. I guess that's true," Zapdos admitted. "Still, it's nothing I can't handle. I'm a _god_, after all. Back before I became a Shadow, I probably couldn't have shrugged off more than a few blows, but now that I'm an uber-powerful dark god, your cannons won't even scratch me!"

"They won't? Awwww…" the weapons officer said in disappointment, many of his crewmates sharing his sentiment.

"Well…all right," the captain said reluctantly. "If you're certain. And, uh, you won't blow us up for shooting at you, will you?"

"…Eh, all right, I suppose that's fair enough," Zapdos said reluctantly. "But only if you actually manage to get this mutt off of me. Otherwise I'll blast your ship to smithereens."

"Fair enough," the captain said, knowing this was the best offer he was going to get. "Get into position and we'll open fire immediately."

"Good. Be quick about it, the sooner we get this done, the sooner I can get this parasite off my back and go back to doing what's important: killing some lame-os!" Zapdos said. He cut off the electrical feed he was transmitting into the bridge, causing the lights to stop flickering and all systems to return to relative normality. Turning away, he flew out across the ship's deck and hovered several hundred meters off the port side, his back facing the ship, waiting through ground beak for the abrupt, intense, but short-lived pain that would hopefully kill the blasted vampire that seemed more interested on ripping out his flesh than sucking his blood. (_Could_ it suck his blood, for that matter? He vaguely recalled the Doc saying that Shadow was toxic to vampires. Or was it the other way around? Well, whatever, the dog wasn't dying from all the blood getting spilled about and he certainly wasn't turning into a vampire, so he supposed it wasn't a problem.)

"Okay…target Zapdos," the captain ordered his crew. "Or rather, the thing on his back. And hopefully he won't kill us if we succeed."

"What's the problem if we die? We'll just go to the Abyss and party for eternity," a Nihilator spoke up.

"Yes, but I'm not quite ready to die yet," the captain said.

"I am," said a Ludicolo. The captain, a Beartic, responded by ripping his face off.

"There. Anyone else ready to die?" the captain asked. A Seismatoad raised his hand. The captain sighed and ripped his head off. "Anyone _else?_" Someone started to raise a hand. The captain glared at him. The Nihilator quietly lowered his hand. "Good. Do we have a target lock?"

"No, due to the storm and the electromagnetic interference Zapdos naturally generates, it's tough getting a bead on him, but I think we can eyeball it pretty close," a weapons officer said. "And it's not like he's a hard target to spot."

"Yes, but remember, we're aiming for the Electrike on his back, not Zapdos himself," the captain reminded him.

The weapons officer shrugged. "So? He's gonna get hit either way. Accuracy won't make much of a difference here."

The captain reluctantly had to concede the point. "All right. In that case, do we have him in our sights?"

"Yes, sir," the weapons officer said.

"All right," the captain said. "Ready…aim…fi-" He jumped out of his seat in surprise when suddenly the main screen was filled by a swarm of dead-eyed hollow insectoid husks, completely covering their field of vision. "Wh-what the?"

"Sir, we've got reports of multiple inbound!" a Nihilator shouted.

"I can _see_ that, you idiot!" the captain snapped, pointing at the bugs covering the screen. The Nihilator flushed in embarrassment. "It must be those anti-Nihilator vampire sympathizers trying to interfere! Can we still fire with our vision compromised like this?"

"Yes, sir," the weapons officer reported. "We have cameras mounted on the guns for just such a contingency."

"Good! Then open fire! Send that vampire back to the crypt!" the captain ordered.

Several dozen heavily-armed turrets swiveled around to point at Zapdos's back. With a thunderous discharge, they opened fire, sending a fusillade of energy blasts, lasers, and rockets surged through the air towards the thunderbird. Zapdos couldn't refrain from grinning somewhat manically. He knew this was going to hurt, it was probably going to hurt a lot, but it would only be for a few seconds, rather than this constant unending _agony!_ He could hear the shots whistling towards him. Any second now they would hit. Any second now…just a little longer…

They never hit. Just before they could strike Zapdos, a swarm of pitch-black Woobat flew into the path of the barrage. "You shall not touch him!" the Woobats shrieked with one voice, spreading out from each other, bolts of dark energy crackling between them to form a large net. The missiles and rockets and energy bullets and lasers smashed into the net, pushing the Woobat making up its links back and bending the net inward until it came close to touching Bob. The net tensed, the strands of energy stretching incredibly thin, the Woobat grinding their teeth as sweat rolled down their faces…

And then the net snapped. Not in pieces, thankfully, but back to its original shape, flinging the attacks it had caught right back at the battleship. The projectiles slammed into the vessel they had originated from, causing a massive explosion that ripped a huge hole in the side of the battleship and caused it to begin sinking from the air, smoke and flames trailing from the gaping wound in its hull as smaller explosions erupted all over its length. "Agh! We're all gonna die! We're all gonna die! We're all gonna die!" one of the Nihilators on the bridge screamed as klaxons blared and emergency lights flashed, the crew panicking and running about willy-nilly screaming at the top of their lungs.

The captain sighed wearily. "Somehow, I knew this was going to happen. All right, everyone to the escape pods, we can still make it out of here before we-"

He was interrupted by the ship crashing to the ground and exploding spectacularly, killing everyone on board.

"Noooooooooo!" Zapdos cried in horror when he realized what had just happened. "_I_ was going to do that! You jerks beat me to it! Oh yeah, and they were going to do something about this mutt on my back."

"That 'mutt' happens to belong to me, and there shall be no shooting at him on my watch!" Vladimir boomed imposingly as the Woobat swarmed together and coalesced in a flash of darkness, transforming into the vampiric Swalot with an impressive thunderclap. (Actually, the thunderclap was caused by lightning in the background that had nothing to do with him, but was a very apropos sound effect for the occasion.)

"What about shooting at you? Is that allowed?" Zapdos sneered, shooting a Thunderbolt at Vladimir…which veered around at the last second, arced around Zapdos, and struck Bob square in the back. The Electrike yelped in pain and dug his claws deeper into Zapdos's flesh, causing the thunderbird to grimace. "Ouch. Okay, forgot about that…"

"But I didn't!" Vladimir said with a devlisih grin. "More proof of the superiority of vampires over you motley Shadow Pokémon!"

"Oh please, comparing a wannabe Goth sparkly undead like you to a bona fide god of darkness like me is like comparing a Magikarp to a Wailord," Zapdos snorted. "We may have a similar source of power, but we're nowhere near being in the same league!"

Vladimir ground his teeth, eyes flashing ominously as darkness swirled around him. "I. Do. NOT! SPARKLE!" he roared, opening his mouth so wide it took up pretty much the entire front of his body and vomiting a thick black Gunk Shot at Zapdos.

The thunderbird screeched as the toxic spew splattered all over him, electric aura sparking wildly and sending lethal arcs out in every direction as it reacted to the poison covering his form. "Aaaghh! Aaaaaaaaggggghhhhh!" Zapdos screamed as the acid ate at his feathers and armor plates, the fumes getting into his eyes and mouth and causing him to sputter and choke, sparking tears rolling down his cheeks. "I-it hurts…and…it smells! Sweet Ruler of Evil, it smells so bad! I just threw up in my mouth! No, wait, now I'm throwing up for real…bleaaaaghhh!"

Vladimir grimaced as he quickly darted to the side, neatly dodging the electrified projectile vomit that had nearly splattered him. "Hey, watch it, my suit isn't machine-washable!" he said angrily.

"Ugh…you…you stupid…gah…" Zapdos gagged. "Aren't vampires supposed to be too…ugh…refined to throw up or something?"

"You're a god. Aren't you too dignified to do the same?" Vladimir countered.

"…Point. Well…at least I can go out in broad daylight!" Zapdos retorted.

"So will I, once Fantina and her kind come up with something better than that Black Sun spell to allow us to walk about at daytime. But why would we want to, anyway? Especially when all the best things happen at night."

"Hmm. Well, you have a point there," Zapdos admitted. "A lot of cool stuff _does_ happen at night…wait a minute, why am I talking about this with you? You just covered me in poison gunk! If I weren't already supposed to kill you, I'd kill you for that! In fact, I think I will! Kill you, that is!" He spread his wings, gathering his power, Shadow Aura swirling around him.

And suddenly, several dozen of Happy's shed skins were surrounding him. "What? Where did you-" The shells glowed a brilliant white and Exploded, engulfing Zapdos in…well, a big explosion. "Graaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!"

"_There_ you are!" Vladimir said in annoyance as Happy and Rose flew into view. "Where _were_ you two? I thought I'd have to keep him talking all day!"

"Sorry. Ran into another couple of battleships on the way here," Rose apologized.

"I see. Did you take care of them?" Vladimir asked.

"In a way," Happy said enigmatically. Vladimir raised an eyebrow.

"Guess what? 'In a way' I'm about to totally kill you!" Zapdos shrieked as the smoke and flames surrounding him vanished in a blast of Shadow aura, revealing he was pretty much completely intact.

"I should say that surprised me, but it didn't," Happy confessed.

"Well, considering that we aren't really supposed to beat him, just delay him, I suppose it's to be expected," Vladimir said.

"Too bad he's fully capable of killing, rather than delaying, us," Rose complained.

"Too right! Die, mortal scumbags!" Zapdos Murkrowed, power crackling around him.

"Ahem," Vladimir coughed.

Zapdos rolled his eyes. "Right, die, mortal scumbags and undead vermin."

"That's better," Vladimir said.

Zapdos surged towards them with Shadow Rush, Shadow Aura and bolts of static crackling around him. The three heroes managed to dive out of the way in time, but the slipstream from his passing, as well as the volatile power rolling off his Aura, still sent them tumbling head-over-heels away, Rose nearly losing her hat and staff and Vladimir getting his cape caught over his face. "Gah, I thought this thing was going to be more aerodynamic!" he complained as he struggled to pull it off.

"That's what you get for choosing form over functionality," Happy commented.

"And this is what you get for existing!" Zapdos shrieked as he dove towards Vladimir, spinning wildly with his glowing beak pointed straight forwards in a dark Drill Peck.

"Vlad, look out!" Rose cried.

"It's Vlad_imir_, and look out for-" Vladimir cut himself off when he managed to get his cape off his face and saw the very sharp beak about to pierce him. "Ah."

There was a flash of darkness. Zapdos continued drilling forwards for several meters, then spread his wings and came to a halt, laughing uproariously when he saw that there was no sign of the vampire Swalot anywhere. "Haha! Yes! I destroyed him so completely there's nothing of him left! GwahahahAAAGH!"

The scream was due to Vladimir, who had of course survived the attack by splitting into several dozen Woobat at the last second and flying out of the way, reassembling himself behind the thunderbird and bombarding him with Sludge Bombs. "'Haha' yourself!" Vladimir taunted as Zapdos' electric field crackled and sparked in reaction to the poisonous blasts. "It will take more than that to defeat the great Count Vlad-" He paused when he heard a pained whimper. He paled (more than usual) when he noticed Bob had been struck by a few of the Sludge Bombs, and now parts of his body were covered in the sizzling acidic black gunk. _Oh dear. I didn't mean to hit Bob!_ He thought in concern. _I had completely forgotten he was back there…how careless of me. The Mistress would be most displeased if she knew I was treating a subordinate like this! I must be more careful in the future…_

"I'm…getting really sick of you!" Zapdos snarled as he spun around to face the Swalot. "This is why I've always hated vampires! That, and because most of the media they appear in are cheesy melodramatic romances that fail to convey how horrible—and _stupid_—they really are!"

"Well, I guess he's on Team Jakob, then," Rose muttered to herself.

"What was that?" Happy asked.

"Oh, uh, nothing, nothing important," the Taillow said quickly.

"I may not be able to use my full electric awesomeness due to this pain in the neck that's on my back…which I suppose technically makes it a pain in the back…but there's more to me than just that! Get a load of this!" Zapdos taunted, opening his mouth and emitting an ear-piercing Metal Sound.

The heroes cried in pain and flinched back, covering their ears at the high-pitched noise of scraping metal reverberated through their bones and rattled their skulls. "Aaaahhh! Curse my vampiric hearing! It makes this even _worse!_" Vladimir complained. Bob seemed to agree and paused in his mauling to start howling piteously, his cacophonous wails adding to the awful row Zapdos was generating and bringing everyone even closer to shattering their eardrums.

_Huh, I guess the runt comes in handy after all! For that, maybe I'll save him for last…nah!_ Zapdos decided.

"The…the noise…I can't…even think…" Happy gasped. Then she retracted her antenna into her head. Since they were her primary sensory organs, that immediately cut off the sound and cleared her mind. "Ah, that's better. Now, let's see if I can't give him a taste of his own medicine!" Her armor hardened and dried out, tearing off of her to create one of her shed skin dopplegangers, followed by another, and another, until there were about two dozen of them all told. They spread out to surround the screeching Zapdos and began to beat their wings at very high speeds, generating a high-frequency Bug Buzz that bombarded Zapdos from every angle, drowning out the sound of scraping metal with a very loud and very grating humming noise. Bob found this noise to be rather irritating as well, and kept on howling, much to Zapdos's detriment. "Agh! Make it stop! Make it stop!" he cried, cutting off his sonic attack.

"I find myself agreeing with him," Vladimir said, wincing as the Bug Buzz affected him as well. "I don't suppose you could turn it down a notch?"

"No," Happy said. "Quick, this is your chance! Hit him while I've got him distracted!"

"Right!" Rose said, her staff glowing as she cast a spell that increased her attack power, flapping her wings rapidly and generating a powerful whirlwind that carried numerous Air Slash energy balls at Zapdos.

"Oh, yes, splendid idea!" Vladimir said, gathering power into a ball of concentrated darkness in his palms. Rather than throwing it like a Shadow Ball, he instead thrust the sphere forwards, its surface erupting in a tremendous cloud of screeching, chattering Swoobat made of pure darkness that swarmed through the air towards Zapdos.

The two attacks slammed into Zapdos and exploded, blasting the thunderbird away and sending him tumbling towards the ground, smoke trailing from his form. "Gaaaagghhh!"

"Yes! We got him!" Rose enthused as the Happies stopped their Bug Buzz.

"Not…not for long, you don't!" Zapdos snarled as he recovered, folding his wings close to his body and increasing his speed, causing his dive towards the ground to accelerate rapidly. Streaks of black light engulfed his form as he sharply pulled up to race across the ground, rose back up into the air towards the heroes, and…

Vanished. "What the…where did he go?" asked a confused Vladimir.

"Oh no! That was Aerial Ace!" Rose cried in alarm. "And that _never_ misses!"

"Too right it doesn't!" Zapdos shrieked as he reappeared right behind them in a burst of Shadow Aura and dove right towards them, talons extended. "And I won't need to use it more than once, because this move's a guaranteed-"

He was cut off when, from out of nowhere, a battleship slammed into his side, plastering him against its prow as it screamed through the air and crashed to the ground, plowing through the scorched plains below, burying the evil thunderbird beneath several thousand tons of metal and earth. The ship slowly ground to a halt and lay at the end of a very long trench with its nose (and Zapdos) stuck far below ground level, smoke rising from its engines and groaning coming from its metal frame. "…Huh," Vladimir said. "I did not see that coming."

"Finally! What took so long?" Rose asked, looking at Happy.

The armored Butterfree shrugged. "Uh, hello? I'm a wild Pokémon. Where exactly would I have learned how to fly an airship?"

"Eh, point," Rose admitted.

Vladimir blinked. "Wait, this was your doing?"

Happy nodded. "Yes. Remember when I said earlier that we ran into some ships, and I dealt with them 'in a way?'"

"Yes," Vladimir said.

"Well, what I really meant was that we managed to commandeer one of them by throwing my shed skins into it until they'd wiped out or incapacitated the crew, then left some behind to steer it into Zapdos while we came to rejoin you," Happy said. "And it would have gotten here sooner, except that…well, I have no idea how to fly a battleship, so neither did the shells I left behind."

"Ah," Vladimir said. "Well, considering such a handicap, I'd say you did a fairly impressive job handling a vessel of such size and complexity, all the same."

"Thanks!" Happy said.

"There's just one problem," Vladimir said.

Happy blinked. "Oh?"

"BOB WAS STILL ON ZAPDOS WHEN YOU CRASHED THAT THING INTO HIM!" the Swalot bellowed at the top of his lungs, which, given that his mouth could open to massive sizes, the size of his body, and how his vampiric attributes enhanced his voice like everything else, was very loud indeed.

"…Oh crud," Happy groaned.

"I-I can't believe we forgot! Bob!" Rose gasped in horror.

"Don't worry, I can still sense him. He's still alive. Er, undead. You know what I mean. Come on!" Vladimir said, swooping down towards the battleship.

"How can you tell where he is? Or that he's even still alive? Er, undead?" Happy asked as they began circling the downed vessel.

"All vampires are linked by our shared blood. The vampiric disease which transformed us into undead binds us psychically, so we can all sense each other and share thoughts. Well, perhaps psychic is the wrong term," Vladimir admitted. "It's not Psychic psychic, but a kind of…er…Dark psychic? Does that make any sense at all to you?"

"Not really, no," Happy said.

"Right. Never mind, it's not that important. The short of it is that all vampires are linked by a mystical force, and through that link I can tell where Bob is and what he's thinking—which isn't much, given that he's mostly mindless—as well as where Dean is and what he's thinking." He glanced upwards wistfully. "I can even sense the Mistress and the rest of my brethren imprisoned in the Nihilator's stronghold…unfortunately, they are so far from us that I can barely feel their presence. It's so faint one could easily make the mistake of thinking that…that they aren't out there at all…"

"…Don't worry. You'll see them again soon," Happy said.

Rose nodded. "Right! After we defeat these guys and get you to Fichina, you can get the help you need to take out the Nihilators and save your friends!"

Vladimir smiled gratefully. "Thank you for your assurances. I already know that we will be able to free the Mistress and the others, but…the reminder that there are others as committed as I to making sure that happens is always a happy thought. I do not suppose you and your friends can help me to save my kin?"

"I'm afraid not," Happy said apologetically. "We have our own quest to complete, and an evil organization to defeat."

Vladimir nodded. "I understand. You have a friend of your own to rescue, do you not? I would not ask you to put your own mission on hold to aid me in mine. It would be most selfish and ungentlemonly of me, and as a member of the aristocratic caste of my kind, it would be most remiss of me to behave in such a manner."

"Thank you for being so understanding," Rose said, touched.

"Think nothing of it," Vladimir said.

"So, um, speaking of our mission…we still don't know where Judgment's main base is, but you know where the Nihilator's headquarters are, because you've been there, right?" Happy said. "You said it was very far away from here. Just where is it, anyway?"

Vladimir blinked in surprise. "I never mentioned? It's-"

He was interrupted by a large explosion, torrents of Shadow Aura and black lightning erupting from a portion of the downed battleship. That explosion was followed by another, and another, each blast bursting out from further and further up the length of the crashed ship. "Uh-oh," Rose said.

"I think we should be backing away now," Happy said.

"What? But…but Bob!" Vladimir protested. Then the next explosion ripped through the hull right underneath him, nearly incinerating him. He yelped as he shrunk back from the pillar of fire and lightning. "Er, well, I can still sense him, so I'm sure he's all right! And I'm also sure he'll continue to be fine if we put a little, ah, distance between us and this thing. I'm sure he wouldn't want us to have gotten hurt looking for him, after all. Well, not that he's intelligent enough to articulate such a desire, but you know what I mean."

They flew several hundred meters away from the battleship, and just in time too, as the next explosion took place near the engines, igniting the fuel tanks and triggering a blast that ripped the vessel in half in a tremendous conflagration. From that conflagration Zapdos arose like a mighty phoenix reborn from the flames, (Except he was a thunderbird, who didn't get reborn from anything, not even storm clouds, so far as I know, and Moltres was the only actual phoenix of the three legendary birds, but you get the idea.) laughing maniacally. "Ahahahaha! AHAHAHAHAHA! Thought you could get rid of me that easily, did you? Thought hitting me with an Arceusdamned BATTLESHIP would be enough to take me out?" Zapdos shrieked madly, Shadow Aura and static crackling off his form. "Well I've got news for you punks! This bad bird is NOT going down without a fight, and it'll take a lot more than something like that to take me out for good!" He burst into a cruel grin. "In fact, I'm actually feeling better than ever now…thanks to you, that pain in the ass on my back is gone! See for yourself!" He turned around to reveal his back, covered in scars that were already healing and conspicuously Bob-free. "That rotten mutt got turned into a red smear on impact! Which means I just killed one of the three big bad vampires that threw Oblivion's Shadow into such a tizzy…or rather, YOU killed him! That's not going to stop me from taking all the credit, though, and getting major kudos for doing it! Oh, the reward the big boss will give me once I take out TWO of you will be even sweeter…and I get to rub it in Articuno and Moltres's faces too, since they'll only manage one between them, if that! Ahahahahaha!"

"No!" Rose gasped, looking horrified.

"You're lying," Vladimir accused angrily. "Bob is still alive! Er, undead! I can sense him even now…the crash hurt him quite a lot, but he survived, just as you did! You haven't killed any of us vampires yet!"

"What, seriously? Geez, what does it take to frigging end one of you guys already?" Zapdos asked, looking annoyed. "Oh well, I'll take care of him after I deal with you three, and still get my kill count of two vampires! It'll be easy, too, now that the mutt's not here…because without him, I can use my full power!"

"That's right!" Happy said in alarm as Zapdos spread his wings, causing lightning bolts to crack down on either side of him as his Aura roiled and crackled violently. "Without Bob's Lightningrod ability in play-"

"There's nothing to stop me from using my Electric attacks, and frying the hell out of you!" Zapdos said triumphantly, spinning into the air high above them. "So let's see how you like a little taste of my divine judgment!" With a shriek, he flapped his wings hard, causing dozens of tremendously powerful bolts of lightning which looked more like ridiculously vast pillars of electricity to shoot down from the skies, homing in on the trio. The heroes flinched in alarm, bracing themselves for impact…

Only to blink in surprise as the bolts turned away from them at the last minute, streaking past them and Zapdos towards the smoldering battleship below. "Wh-what?" Zapdos shrieked incredulously. "What the Abyss-"

"It's Bob! He's all right!" Rose cried joyfully, her sharp eyes spotting a barking figure standing atop what remained of the warship's control tower.

"Haha, I told you he made it out all right!" Vladimir cheered. He frowned when he noticed just how badly damaged Bob was…how he was favoring one of his legs, one of his ear wings was torn off, and there were rather sizable electrical and regular burns all over his body. "Well…maybe 'all right' was a poor choice of words…"

The lightning bolts struck Bob, causing him to howl in agony. His form convulsed as terawatt after terawatt passed through his small frame, disintegrating his fur and causing his skin to blacken and burn as it was conducted through his body and into the ship beneath him…but he remained standing, and continued barking defiantly at the enraged thunderbird hovering overhead. "He may not be in the best of shape, but he's still willing and ready to take one for the team…what a trooper!" Happy said.

Vladimir nodded eagerly, a proud look on his face. "He is truly a loyal and dependable companion…something I should have realized long, long before now…" He stared at the Electrike with a glistening smile, as if really seeing him for the first time. "He may have his faults, but deep down…he is a good dog." The others nodded in agreement.

Zapdos shook with rage, not sharing their sentiment. "You…you fucking piece of shit! Why do you keep Houndouring me? What the Abyss do I have to do to kill you?" He paused, and then made an absolutely horrifying grin. "Oh, wait, I know…you're not on my back anymore…which meaaaans…" He spread his wings, causing thunder and lightning to crack down around him and strike Bob, hurting him some more. "I get to do THIS!" Opening his beak wide, he spewed a pitch-black Shadow Bolt at the wounded Electrike, who yelped and wet himself in fright.

"NO!" Vladimir cried in horror. "BOB!"

"Don't worry, I've got this!" Rose said, quickly casting a barrier spell over Bob. The Shadow Bolt slammed into the shield…and ripped through it like wet tissue paper, the spell backlash causing the Taillow to scream in agony as the feedback washed through her. "O-okay, maybe I don't," she gasped.

"Oh no…Vladimir, what do we do?" Happy cried. There was no reply. "Vladimir?" She turned and saw that the vampire was gone, only a few wisps of mist remaining where he had been floating. "Huh? Where did he-" She gasped in understanding. "Oh no! NO!"

The Bolt shot towards Bob, unimpeded. The Electrike whimpered in fear and cowered, putting his paws over his eyes, unwilling to face the end. Despite having his eyes shut and his mitts over them, the brilliant anti-light from the Shadow Bolt still pierced his eyelids, scarring his retinas…

And then something blotted it out. There was a horrific scream, one that shook Bob to the core of his being, followed by an uncomfortably heavy weight (that felt oddly comforting and familiar to some deeper, instinctual part of himself) landing on top of him. And then there was silence, save for the ever-present roar of thunder, distant explosions, what sounded an awful lot like ragged breathing, and Zapdos swearing, "Dammit, I missed! Oh well, at least I got _one_ of them…" (So, not a lot of silence, really…) There was also a strange and troublesome ache in the back of his head that the Electrike didn't understand…and the feeling that the comforting presence nearby was fading away…

Timidly, Bob moved his paws and opened his eyes to see what was going on. When he did, the poor dumb mutt found himself wishing he hadn't.

His master, Vladimir, was lying on top of him in very bad shape. Although the front of his body looked fine-save for a grimace of pain, sweat rolling down his face, a loose cravat, missing monocle, and a rather mussed mustache—the clothes on his back had been completely vaporized, exposing his back, which was scorched red and black with numerous ugly boils and pustules swelling up, popping and releasing periodic spurts of blood and poisonous gas that rose into the air along with the smoke wafting from his hulking form. The exposed skin sizzled and added steam to the mix as the dark rain and snow fell upon its superheated surface. The pain on his face softened as the Swalot managed to smile upon seeing Bob open his eyes. "Bob…" he whispered hoarsely. "You're…all right…"

Bob whimpered in dismay, confused and unable to understand what was going on. He wasn't the only one. "Vladimir!" Rose gasped as she and Happy quickly swooped down nearby and started circling frantically. "O-oh, Arceus…" she whispered, seeing the condition of the vampire noble's back.

"Vladimir! What were you thinking?" Happy cried.

"Had to save…Bob," Vladimir grunted, not looking away from the bewildered and worried expression on the Electrike's face. "What the…Mistress would have…wanted…"

Happy sighed and shook her head. "Oh, just typical…y-you had to play the hero, didn't you?" she stammered, trying not to let on how worried she was.

"D-don't worry, I can fix this!" Rose said, waving her staff and casting a healing spell over the two vampires. Bob blinked as a warm, soothing sensation filled his body, healing his many aches and pains, banishing his exhaustion and filling him with renewed energy and vigor. All the wounds he had suffered since jumping on Zapdos' back, getting buried beneath a battleship, and getting hit by lightning bolts repeatedly faded away, leaving him as good as new. Vladimir, on the other hand…was exactly the same. Rose blinked in alarm. "Wh-what? That…that can't be right…let me try again." She cast her spell again. And again. And one more time, for good measure. It made no difference. Vladimir's condition remained unchanged. "I-I don't understand!" she stammered. "Why…why isn't it working?"

"Let me try," Happy said, floating over. She concentrated, and a trio of Combee materialized around her, splitting up to orbit around Vladimir. Golden light beamed onto the Swalot's back from their faces as they used Heal Order. They shone the beams on him for several seconds before floating back and disappearing…leaving Vladimir's back completely unchanged. "No…that should have worked! Why…why didn't…"

"I'm sorry, ladies," Vladimir rasped weakly as he wrapped his arms tenderly around Bob, the Electrike nuzzling him worriedly, confused as to why the ache in his head was increasing and the feeling he got from the Swalot was decreasing. "But…there are some wounds so severe…that no amount of healing can fix them."

"What?" Rose screamed. "N-no, that can't be! You're a vampire! Y-you're virtually immortal, you can regenerate from just about anything, can't you?"

"_Just about_ isn't the same as _absolutely_," Vladimir said with a weak cough. "That Bolt was…incredibly powerful. I had to use all the…energy in my body to keep it from hitting both of us. I might have survived on my own, albeit severely injured, but Bob…Bob wouldn't have stood a chance. This was the only…the only way to save him. Even if it meant…giving up my own unlife in the process."

"No…" Rose whispered.

"But…but then that means you…" Happy said.

"Are going to die?" Vladimir winced as an especially large boil popped on his back. "Yes…it would appear…so…"

"But-but you _can't_ die!" Rose protested. "Not…not after everything you've been through! You were abducted by the Nihilators, tortured, forcibly transformed into a vampire, tortured some more, put on display by Bellum, _just _got your freedom only a few days ago, survived that Nihilator assassin and Bellum's ice monsters and Shivhel and, and we're _so close_ to Fichina! It's literally just a few hours away! You've come so far and suffered so much, you…you can't die! Not now! Not when you're so close to safety and freedom and getting what you need to save your friends!"

Vladimir nodded sadly. "You are correct. I have suffered much…and traveled far. But you forget: I am not the only one. Dean…and Bob…have both undergone the same torment I have. Even worse, in Bob's case, since his…transformation cost him his mind…though I may soon be able to remedy that. The three of us, we brothers-in-arms…we _vampires_…share the same past, and the same goal. We came from the same place. We felt the same hurts, as well as…the Mistress's warm embrace. How could I allow either of them to…die so that I may continue unliving? What right do I have to…deny them the future we have dreamed of so that I could…have it for myself? As the ranking…member of the noble caste, Dean and Bob are my responsibility. Their safety and well-being are…my concern. I know I may not have always treated them…as well as they deserved…but I care for them all the same, and would willingly give up my existence to protect them…as…as I have done just now to save Bob…" He closed his eyes and took a few deep, shallow breaths, squeezing Bob, who whimpered unhappily. "It is…what the Mistress…would have wanted…"

"…Vladimir. You truly deserve the title of 'noble,'" Happy said after a moment. "I hope that other vampires of your caste are as honorable as you."

"Heh…heh…so do I," Vladimir grunted. "Though they're going to have a…pretty big example to unlive up to, if they ever want to…beat what I just did!" Happy and Rose sweatdropped.

"No…no, no, no, no, no! I refuse! I won't…I won't let this happen!" Rose said in denial. "There, there has to be something I can do, some way I can-" She gasped. "Wait! Vampires feed off blood and get stronger from it, right? Here!" She flapped into Vladimir's face and thrust out her head, tilting it to expose her neck.

He recoiled in surprise. "What are you doing?"

"Saving you! Take my blood! Take as much as you need to repair yourself!" Rose said, pushing her neck into Vladimir's view. "Fresh blood from a mortal reenergizes you guys, right? It'll give you the power you need to heal yourself!"

Vladimir shook his head and gently pushed her away. "Rose, you have a beautiful heart…and neck. Zippo is a lucky mon to have you. However, while your offer is very…considerate, I am afraid that it is not enough. Even if I drank all the blood in your body, even if I left you dry and empty, it would…not be enough…to save me…"

"No…" Rose whispered.

"…Not…not even if I gave you…my blood, too?" Happy said hesitantly.

Vladimir shook his head. "I could…drink you and your entire team dry…and it would still not be enough. Thank you for…the offer, though. Your generosity is yet another reminder…that…that you and your allies are true heroes. Heroes who shall rid the world of scum like the Nihilators once and for all, and fulfill the mission that I…cannot." He gave them a serious look. "Do not think my mission dies…with me. So long as Bob or Dean still unlive, there is hope. Do not let…anything happen to them. They are the last hope for my people…perhaps…the last hope any of us have against the Nihilators. The information we all carry must…must get to Fichina…at all costs. Do you understand?"

Happy closed her eyes and nodded once. "Yes. We understand."

Rose sniffed, tears rolling down her cheeks. "But…but how can they do it without you?" she protested. "Dean's not exactly the most convincing speaker, and Bob's…well, _Bob!_"

Vladimir managed a weak grin. "Ah, now that, I think, I can do something about. I still have enough power left in me…for one last miracle. One I should have done…a long time ago." He smiled benignly down at the worried Bob, stroking his head until he started to calm down. "There, there, Bob. Don't worry about me. Don't worry about the storm or Zapdos or the Nihilators. Just…relax…relax…" His eyes glowed red as he exerted his power, causing Bob to go limp in his arms, relaxing and closing his eyes in contentment. Vladimir smiled. "There's a good dog."

And then, without warning, he bit into Bob's neck. The girls gasped in horror. "Vladimir! What…what are you doing?" Rose cried.

"Is he…is he drinking Bob's blood? But I thought vampires couldn't do that to each other! And that there wasn't enough blood to save him!" Happy said incredulously.

Abruptly, Vladimir removed his fangs from Bob's neck and gently put him down. The Electrike stumbled a few feet away and lost control of his legs, splaying out on all fours, panting heavily as his eyes unfocused. "We can't, and there isn't," Vladimir said, looking even paler and closer to death now. "But we can…inject some of our blood into each other, just as we do when we…turn other Pokémon into creatures like us. But since we are…already kindred, giving our blood to one of our own kind makes us stronger…_especially_ if the donor is of a higher caste!"

Rose's eyes widened and her breath caught in her throat. "Then…then that means that Bob is going to…"

Vladimir grinned as Bob squeezed his eyes shut, clenched his teeth, and moaned, darkness abruptly engulfing his form, black light radiating from him as his body grew, and changed, growing bigger and stronger. "Evolve? Yes. In more ways than one."

The darkness around Bob vanished, revealing that he had transformed into a Manectric…but he didn't look much like your average Manectric. His fur was black and silver rather than blue and gold. His claws and fangs were all sharper than normal, and his red eyes a much deeper hue and possessing intelligence, a keen sense of _reason_ that he had lacked previously. His spiky mane was now slicked backwards rather than pointing straight up, with the two clumps on the sides resembling Zubat wings rather than simple spikes. Two curved horns much like a Houndoom's rose from his forehead, but they zigzagged like lightning bolts, electricity crackling around them. The clumps of fur on his hind legs now had actual spikes growing from them, also crackling with static, and bone spurs grew from his joints and his back. His crooked tail was now shaped sort of like a Pikachu's, but rather than thickening at the end it terminated in a barbed tip.

"Whoa," Happy whispered.

"That's…different from most evolutions," Rose commented.

As the transformed Bob blinked and looked over himself in confusion, Vladimir chuckled weakly, blood dripping down his chin in the process. "It…is done." And with that, he collapsed to the ground.

"VLADIMIR!" Happy and Rose cried.

"M-m-m-massssshhhhter! Muh-mathter! MmmmmASTER!" Bob slurred.

Happy and Rose stared at him in astonishment. "You can talk?"

Bob blinked in surprise. "I…I c-c-can taw, tawwwk!" He gasped in astonishment. "I-I can! I can talk, I c-c-can thuh, thuh, think, I…I…I can…I can _BE!_"

"That…you can," Vladimir grunted from where he lay, reminding everyone he was there and prompting them to rush over to him.

"M-m-master! What…what did you…d-d-did you do t-to me?" Bob stuttered, clearly not used to speaking after spending so much time as a mindless animal.

"You have…risen in the ranks, my dear friend," Vladimir said warmly. "Before, you were a serf, the…lowest of our kind. The noble blood I gave you…has elevated you to 'peasant,' the same caste as Dean. It's…not as good as being a noble, but only the Mistress…has the power to advance one of our kind up more than one rank at once."

"Then…thuh-thuh-then that's wh-why I…I'm…I'm _me_ again," Bob said in wonder.

Vladimir nodded. "Precisely. Being turned into a serf robbed you of your mind and made you little more than a drooling mongrel, with no mind or will save to serve your betters. Now that you…_are_ one of your betters, your faculties have been returned to you…and then some."

"Y-y-yes! I, I'm smuh-smuh-smarter and…and stronger and better than I ever w-w-was before!" Bob marveled. "A-and it's all thuh-thuh-thanks to you! Oh, thuh-thank you M-Master, thank you, thank you!"

Vladimir chuckled. "You are…most welcome, my friend. And with that…I am afraid I must be departing now…"

"De…" Bob's eyes widened and he gasped in horror. "No! Nonononononono!" He nuzzled Vladimir frantically, red eyes wide and pleading. "Master! You-you can't die! I-I've j-just become s-s-sentient again, I'm…I'm not used to it! I n-n-need guidance! Dean and I b-b-both do! W-w-we need an aruh, aristah, a noble like you to lead us! W-w-without you, we're just directionless p-p-peasants! L-l-lost in the w-w-wind!"

Vladimir's red eyes flashed with anger. "Directionless? Lost? Don't be preposterous!" he boomed, causing the Manectric to flinch and back away, instinctively bowing. "Your mission is still the same! You must survive this fight, reach Fichina, and give the information we have to those who can make the most use of it, so that they can destroy the Nihilators and free our kindred! The fate of the Mistress, of our _entire species_ rests upon you and Dean. I know it will be hard, and a little scary, but you will have to do it without me. Do you understand, Bob? _We are all counting on you!_ Are you going to let our brethren, and the Mistress, and our other allies languishing in the Nihilators' dungeons down? Are you going to let my sacrifice have been in vain?"

"Nuh-nuh-_NO_!" Bob barked, standing up straight. "I…I w-won't! I'll…I'll do it, Master! I'll t-tell the world, and s-s-save everyone, I promise! Yuh-you can count on me!"

Vladimir smiled. "I knew I could…" His eyes started to close.

Bob panicked, realizing his master was about to die, and started frantically nuzzling Vladimir again. "Master, wait! You can't go! Y-you can't die!"

Vladimir gave him an annoyed look. "I don't think…I have a choice in the matter..."

Bob started trembling, tears pouring from his blood-red eyes. "But! But-but-but-but-but…but if, if you die, what'll happen to you? We're…we're too far f-from the network! Dean and I, we aren't strong enough t-to keep y-your soul here, just, just the two of us! You'll…you'll die for real, a-and be lost to us! We…we'll lose you forever…you'll b-be the first vampire in our clan that's…that's died _dead_, and gone away, your s-spirit and voice no longer there to guide and advise us!"

Vladimir scoffed. "Lost? Gone? Don't be preposterous, Bob! Can't you sense it? Don't you feel what's running through your veins?"

Bob blinked in confusion. "…You mean blood?"

"Yes! And _whose_ blood?" Vladimir prompted.

"Mine," Bob said dumbly.

"AND?" Vladimir asked.

"And…and…yours…" Bob said slowly, eyes widening in understanding.

Vladimir chuckled and nodded. "Now you're getting it."

"Um…getting what?" asked a confused Rose.

"Yeah, I'm kind of lost here," Happy said.

"Don't you see? When I gave Bob my blood, I did more than just giving him an extra dose of the virus!" Vladimir said. "I gave him _me!_ Every cell, every microbe that I passed onto him has me imprinted on it…my life and unlife and death, my memories, my experiences, my triumphs and travails, my joys and sorrows, all that I am and ever was…now lies within you. Quite literally." He gently put a hand over Bob's heart. "So long as my blood runs through your veins, a piece of me will always be with you. It won't be the same as having my spirit around…but my knowledge, my memories, the sum of my existence…is yours, and through you, the clan's. So long as you have my blood, I shall always be with you. So long as you keep it, I will never really die."

"…And in doing so, you will live forever…through me…" Bob whispered, smiling through his tears.

"Er, you mean that metaphorically, right?" Rose asked. "As in, you're not going to possess him through your blood, or something like that?"

"What? No, of course not, that's barbaric!" Vladimir said, disgusted, while Bob gave her a shocked look.

"R-right. Sorry. Just thought I'd ask," Rose said quickly.

"I will tell them your story," Bob promised his dying master. "The council in Fichina, the world, the Mistress and our brethren…I will make sure that everyone knows the tale of Count Vladimir. Of his suffering, of his sacrifice, of his courage, heroism, and dedication to duty. All will know of whom you were and what you did, of how hard you fought against our enemies and what you gave up so that we might earn our freedom. So long as one member of our clan still drinks blood on this world, your memory will be preserved for all time, like every other hero of our race who has given their unlife for the Mistress or will do so in the future. Your name shall be revered among our kind for all eternity. You will _never_ be forgotten."

"That is more than I could ever ask for, and certainly more than I deserve," Vladimir said weakly. "But I am not fool enough to deny such an offer, once it is made. If my story is to be told, though, I only ask you this: do not glorify me, for I am far from a saint. Tell my story truly, both the good and the bad, so that I may be judged accordingly. And let me be known not by the prideful and vain name I have chosen for myself, but the one that I was born with…Dominick."

Bob closed his eyes and bowed his head. "It shall be as you command, my master."

"Then there is no more to be said," Vladimir said faintly, his voice fading to a whisper. "Farewell, my friends. The rest…is silence." He closed his eyes and sagged to the ground, the (somewhat noxious) air billowing from his vacuous form as his thick body deflated like a punctured balloon somewhat ruining the gravity of the moment. His body turned gray and began to crumble, disintegrating bit by bit into dust that was promptly dispersed and washed away in the snow and the rain, in short order leaving no sign of the vampire but the tattered remnants of his clothes.

Bob, eyes brimming with tears, threw back his head and howled to the heavens, his mournful wail echoing across the battlefield. Happy closed her eyes in sorrow, her armor clattering as it shook in her grief. Rose, her eyesight almost blinded by tears, raised her staff and used her magic to raise the scraps of clothing into the air and tie them together into a knotted bracelet, which she proffered to Bob on the tip of her staff. "Here," she said hoarsely. "I think…I think he'd have wanted you to have this. Something to remember him by…other than the blood and memories inside you, I mean."

Bob nodded and slipped the bracelet reverently onto his wrist. "I shall bear this memento with honor, and personally deliver it to the Mistress, so that she may have something to display in memory of the Count's heroism, of what he gave up in her name. Once we have a home of our own—perhaps in a catacomb or crypt or night club—it will be hung up with the trophies of our other greatest heroes, so that future generations of our clan will gaze upon this and remember the story of Vlad…no, of Dominick, who gave his unlife so that I, and through me the rest of our people, might survive."

"…That's beautiful," Happy said after a moment. Rose, who had been rendered to incomprehensible sobbing, nodded in agreement.

"No, that's absolutely PATHETIC!" Zapdos shrieked as he floated down into view nearby, much to the alarm of the grieving trio. "Seriously, were you even _listening_ to yourselves? Hahaha, talk about a load of melodramatic drivel!"

"You!" Bob snarled.

"Yeah, me!" Zapdos sneered. "Were you expecting someone else?"

"How dare you make light of that! It was one of the most moving and heartfelt moments I've ever seen!" Rose said furiously. "Granted, I haven't seen many of those since I've spent most of my life being raised by my evil druid mother, but still! It was beautiful, and how dare you insult it!"

"I'll insult whatever I want to!" Zapdos retorted. "You've seen one guy bite it, you've seen 'em all. You wouldn't believe how many funerals and eulogies and touching last speeches I've overheard over the years, and you know what? After a while, they all start to blend together, because they're all so weepy and whiny and BOOOOOORIIIIIIING! That's another thing I hate about you mortals, you die so fast and _all the time_, which means the rest of us have to stand around and watch you get all mopey and depressed every time someone drops dead, which is all the Arceusdamned time! Seriously, what's the big deal? The guy's dead! DEAL WITH IT AND MOVE ON ALREADY!"

"…You are a completely heartless monster," Rose snarled.

"Oh, ya think? Gee, what was your first clue?" Zapdos asked sarcastically.

"If you hated the moment so much, then why did you watch the whole thing?" Happy asked. "Why didn't you just attack us while we were distraught and defenseless?"

"Because! Uh…er…" Zapdos blinked. "That's, ah, actually a very good question…"

"Talking is a free action," Rose said. "_Especially_ for dramatic death scenes. Or that's what Zippo tells me, anyway."

"Oh, all right then," Happy said.

"You…you monster!" Bob snarled, hackles raising and black electricity crackling around him. "You MURDERED my master, and you have the GALL to denigrate his sacrifice, his legacy? In his name, no, in the name of all my kind who have suffered because of you and your ilk, I will make you pay! You will suffer for what you have done!"

"Psh, please!" Zapdos snorted. "Like I haven't heard that before! Do you idiots really think you stand a chance? You're down one mon, the mutt's not nearly as strong as his fatass of a master was, and there's one other niggling little detail: _YOU! CAN'T! KILL! ME!_ There's only one person in the world who can, and he's not here right now, so the best you little runts can do is futilely throw yourselves at me, get beaten, have more drawn-out and overdone dramatic death scenes, then die and no longer have any relevance whatsoever while I go off to kill someone who actually matters, then get laid. Probably in that order."

"We may not be able to kill you," Rose said darkly. "But we can _hurt_ you until the one who can kill you gets here."

"Hurt me? Please! The best you punks have managed to do is inconvenience me a little. Not a one of you has the power to truly harm me!" Zapdos bragged.

"What about that ship we crashed into you?" Happy asked.

"That was just a scratch!" Zapdos said.

"And the wounds I inflicted on you?" Bob growled.

"Like the bites of a flea, annoying as the Abyss, but ultimately harmless!" Zapdos said.

"Ah, but that's the thing about fleas," Bob said with a savage grin. "You're right, they may not be able to cause much harm…but take it from a canine, they can drive you crazy if you can't get rid of them!"

"Then it's a good thing I have some pretty damn good flea repellant right here!" Zapdos said, crackling with electricity.

"Too bad these fleas are fairly resistant to that repellant!" Bob countered, his Lightningrod power causing some of the static around Zapdos to be absorbed into him.

"Too bad I have more than one brand of flea repellant, so if one doesn't work, I can just use another that you're less resistant to!" Zapdos said, his Shadow Aura flaring up.

"Then you'll have to use as many of those other brands as you can, because these fleas are pretty damn resilient!" Bob said.

"Oh yeah? Well, so am I!" Zapdos said. "Because it'll take more than a few bites to take me out!"

"Then it's a good thing we're going to do more than take a few bites, we're going to take a _lot_ of bites!" Bob said, brandishing his fangs.

"…Am I the only one who thinks this metaphor has spiraled out of control?" Rose asked with a sweatdrop.

"As a Bug-type, I find all this talk about killing insects and repellants very offensive," Happy said, crossing her arms with a huff.

"Your _face_ is offensive!" Zapdos shouted. He paused. "…That sounded better in my head. No, no, wait, actually it still makes sense. Because you're ugly! Yeah…uh…where were we?" Everyone facefaulted.

"Other than trash-talking, you mean?" Rose asked flatly.

"You were talking about how you were going to kill us," Happy said.

"Oh, right, that!" Zapdos recalled. "Well…I'm totally going to kill you!" He flapped his wings, causing thunder to crash all around them. "The reward I'm going to get for killing one vampire will be great…but the one I'll get for killing _two_? Ohhhh, it's gonna be sooooo sweet! And Articuno and Moltres will be sooooooo jealous! Oh yeah, it's gonna be awesome, and I'll rub it in their faces, 'cause they won't get any! Ahahahaha!"

"…You're a real jerk," Rose said in disbelief. "Why did Arceus make a god like you to begin with?"

"That's actually something I've wondered once or twice, too," Zapdos admitted. "I mean, you'd think He'd want to make a god who actually liked their job and cared for you mortal losers and wasn't likely to jump on the evil train first chance he got, and yet here I am. Oh well. Guess the Big Guy works in mysterious ways, right? I mean, not even _we_ know what the Abyss He's up to half the time…which might be why so many of us have been tempted into jumping ship. Unless that's actually His plan all along? But why would He want us to do that? What benefit could He possibly gain from setting up something so convoluted in advance, and creating children for the explicit purpose of betraying him? Is any decision we make actually our decision? Is everything, even this fight and this very conversation we're having now, utterly predetermined by Arceus and part of His grand scheme, proof that our choices are meaningless? Does this mean He KNEW that me and my sibs would commit all these terrible deeds, and INTENDED for us to do it, meaning that He's punishing us for something He _made_ us do by prophesying that Ash would slay us? Why would He DO something like that? Does He get some sick kick out of jerking us around like that? If so, it is only natural for we Nihilators and evil gods to rebel against such an absolute Will…but what if in doing so, we are only furthering His own schemes? Is there no action we can take that that will free us from the unbreakable chains of fate Arceus has fettered us with? And why the heck am I asking so many weird and philosophical questions out of the blue? Gah, I'm so confused!"

"…Yeah, he's not the only one," said the dumbfounded Bob.

"Where'd all this philosophical stuff come from?" Happy asked.

"Zippo says that sometimes during major confrontations the hero and villain waste time on navel-gazing and musing over their motives and the nature of good and evil instead of getting to the good part and fighting each other," Rose said.

"Why?" Happy asked.

"To stall for time and pad the plot, I think," Rose said.

"Oh wait, I just realized there is a way to defy my destiny! All I have to do is kill Ash, and then I won't die! Duh!" Zapdos said, snapping out of his contemplative reverie. "Unless that's part of Arceus's plan too…and killing Ash will just advance His plans one step further…so maybe I shouldn't kill Ash? But I _want_ to kill Ash…and if I don't kill him, he's definitely going to kill me…unless something else happens…so…"

"Will you stop overthinking everything and just fight us already so I can avenge my master's death?" Bob snapped in exasperation.

Zapdos blinked. "Huh? What? Oh, uh, right! Yeah! Definitely! Except you won't be avenging everyone, because you'll be joining him soon enough, in whatever passes for the vampire afterlife!"

Happy frowned. "Do vampires have an afterlife?"

"…I'm not sure, actually," Bob admitted, looking somewhat concerned, though less for himself than for Vladimir's soul.

"I should think so, pretty much everything has some sort of afterlife," Rose said.

"Yeah, which is good," Zapdos agreed.

Bob blinked. He hadn't expected to hear something like that from Zapdos. "It is?"

"Yep! Because when you get there, you can tell that fat bastard I sent you there personally, and you completely failed to do anything with your new power, making his sacrifice completely meaningless!" Zapdos taunted.

Bob snapped. "That's it!" he howled. "I may not be able to kill you, but I can sure as the Abyss make you wish you were dead!" Sprouting a pair of massive Golbat wings, Bob lunged into the air towards Zapdos.

"Wait for us!" Happy said as she and Rose rose up to join him.

"Heheh, oh yeah, this is gonna be sweet…I get to kill two vampires in one day! Boy, won't the others be pissed?" Zapdos sneered as he swept down to meet his foes.

Meanwhile (well, technically some time earlier), Captain Salty, Sparky, and Dean were fighting against Moltres. Well, more like Salty and Sparky were fighting against Moltres, Dean wasn't really able to do a lot. "Gah! Why the heck did I think it would be a good idea to come up here?" he squealed as he frantically dodged out of the way of another fireball Moltres spat at him. "Oh wait, because dumb old Vladimir said I had to, that's why! Just another reason why it SUCKS TO BE ME!"

"Hey, that's one of my favorite songs, actually, from one of my favorite musicals," Salty commented. Everyone stared at him. "What? An old sea jellyfish can't enjoy an adult musical featuring talking puppets? I have hobbies other than sailing, you know!"

"…Uh, right," Sparky said, deciding not to touch that. "Er, anyway…ye who have been cast from the Celestial Heavens and spurned your holy Maker, feel the divine wrath of the Creator as I carry out justice in his name!" he declared, raising the sacred sword Durendal into the air and firing a lightning bolt into the sky. The dark clouds rumbled and flashed, and a tremendous yellow-white lightning bolt shot down from the heavens and struck Moltres, causing her to shriek in pain and surprise as the blessed electricity was conducted through her body.

_Wh-what?_ Moltres thought in surprise, gasping as she tried to shake off the shock causing her body to shake. _I…I actually felt that? But how? My Shadow Aura should've blunted if not completely deflected an attack like that! But that…that actually _hurt. _What…what is that sword?_ She didn't have time to ponder this further as Sparky raised his sword again and formed a massive Electro Ball at its tip, flinging it at the dark firebird at the same time his mount spread its wings and fired several electric bolts at her. Moltres did a barrel roll out of the way, the bolts passing in her wake, but the Electro Ball stubbornly kept homing in towards her, locked onto her heat signature, of which there was a lot of. You know, what with being eternally wreathed in fire and all. Annoyed, she spat a fireball at it. She was rather surprised by the size of the explosion, or by the fact that when the Ball detonated it released a tremendous electrical shockwave that crashed into her, smashing her against the side of a battleship hard enough to cause it to tilt over. She clenched her beak and tried to pull herself out of the indentation she had made, but the intense heat she generated was causing the metal to melt around her and make it difficult to extricate herself from it. Additionally, she seemed to be struggling with an irritating case of Paralysis, her body twitching and sparking as the residual electricity from the Electro Ball froze her muscles in place. "G-gahhh…k-kill…y-y-yooouuu…"

"Quick, while she's immobilized, hit her with everything you've got!" Sparky declared, raising his sword and charging his power.

"Okay lad, let's see if you can keep up with ol' Captain Salty!" the armored Tentacool said to Dean as he used the power of the Splash Plate to draw moisture from the snow and the rain and the air around them into a glowing light blue ball of water that was at least half again as big as the battleship Moltres was stuck in, holding it above his head in his many tentacles. It was almost comical, considering just how much the water sphere dwarfed his much, much, much, much, _much_ smaller mass.

"…Oh, come on! Now you're just showing off!" Dean complained, hovering nearby, as he stared up at the absolutely ginormous ball of water incredulously.

"Boy, we're in a storm. I have power over water. What do you expect?" Salty grunted.

"Lousy stupid game-breaking Plates of Arceus…wish I had one of those…" Dean grumbled enviously. He opened his mouth and started gathering his own power, a sphere of dark purple water forming in his jaws.

"NOW!" Sparky shouted as Durendal became so brilliant it almost hurt to look at.

In unison, Salty and Dean launched their attacks, the sea captain flinging his Hydro Cannon (Yes, that's not a move Tentacool can use, but the Plates allow their wearers to use any attack of their respective element, remember?) while Dean's infinitesimally smaller—almost pathetic, really—purple Hydro Pump shot through the air alongside it.

Moltres's eyes widened in horror as the water surged towards her. "OH, CRAP!"

The Hydro Cannon (and Hydro Pump, but nobody cares about that) smashed into the battleship, the force and size of the attack so strong that it caused the vessel to snap in two from the point of impact. In the split-second before the ship could shatter completely and Salty's giant water ball could lose cohesion and splash all over the place, Sparky made his move, raising his sword, now less a metal blade than a living thunderbolt, into the air. Like a reverse lightning bolt, the supercharged Durendal extended, rising up to pierce the heavens and causing arcs of electricity to burst away from where its tip struck the clouds and clash with the evil energy generated by the corrupted legendary birds. With a battle cry that sounded more like a thunderclap, Sparky brought his sword down in a mountain-rending chop, striking the Hydro Cannon and channeling all his holy power into it, combining the might of two of Arceus' Plates to strike at his foe.

The resulting explosion was nothing short of spectacular. So spectacular, in fact, that Dean might have been vaporized by the blast if Salty hadn't raised a shield of water around them to protect them from the incredible flash of heat and light. "HOLY CRUD," the vampiric Wooper said loudly. "I THINK I JUST WENT BLIND. AND DEAF." There was a pause, and his body shuddered. "Wait, my ear drums just healed and the skin on my eyes grew back. I'm okay now."

"Good," Salty said, looking relieved. "For a second there I was worried you were going to turn to ash or something."

"Nah, that wouldn't happen unless it were the actual Sun. Not enough UV," Dean explained. "Well, I mean, I would've been turned to ash if it had actually _hit_ me, but not just from being near it, you know?"

"I believe so," Salty said. "Quite the nasty skin condition you lads have there."

"Well, the Duchess says she'll do her best to come up with a more practical spell that can make it safe for us to go outside in broad daylight. That, or some kind of skin cream. I hear she's good with beauty products," Dean said.

"Oh, definitely. I use her moisturizers all the time to keep my healthy red and blue sheen when I'm in a dry climate like this here desert," Salty said. "Though granted, I suppose I don't really need them anymore since I have the Splash Plate and can keep myself hydrated all the time, I've gotten so used to rubbing that soft, soothing lotion all over my skin I think I'll keep using them anyway." Sparky and Dean stared at him. "What? An old sea jellyfish can't use beauty products? Skin care is a very big deal, especially when you're a Tentacool and at risk of drying out and getting all wrinkly and shriveled and dead if you go without water too long!"

"Oh, uh, right, of course it is," Sparky said quickly. "We never thought otherwise, isn't that right, Dean?"

"What? Oh, yeah, what you said," Dean said, nodding his head rapidly. Salty glared at them. Glancing around anxiously for something to distract the Tentacool, Dean noticed something odd. "Hey, it is just me or shouldn't all the fire from the explosion have gone out by now?"

Sparky blinked and looked around in surprise at the flames still billowing around them just outside the bubble shield of water Salty had raised to protect them from the blast. "That's…right, they should have. So why are they still…" He tensed, clutching the hilt of his sword as his winged steed stirred and crackled restlessly. "Salty, reinforce the shield. I think we're in grave danger."

"On it," Salty said, generating more moisture from his Splash Plate armor and using it to thicken the sphere of water surrounding them, which had been slowly dissolving into gas due to the heat from the flames outside.

This was something that worried Dean, as more and more steam began to fill the interior of the bubble. "Uh, guys, what are we going to do about air? Because it kind of looks like we're running out of it here…I mean, _I'm_ fine, since I'm undead, but I'm pretty sure you guys still need oxygen to survive…"

"Oh no, I'll be fine, I'm a water-breather so the Splash Plate will supply me with everything I need to stay alive," Salty said.

"…What about me?" Sparky asked.

"Hmm. That could be a problem," Salty confessed. Sparky sweatdropped.

Sparky had made a good call in telling Salty to strengthen the water barrier, because the flames abruptly turned pitch-black and started pressing against the sphere with renewed force as a malevolent cackle echoed around them. "Gyahahahaha! Is that little ball all you can muster to protect yourself? I expected more from someone capable of an attack like the one you just hit me with!"

Dean gasped incredulously. "No way…Moltres? That didn't kill her?"

"Of course it didn't," Sparky said. "Only Ash can kill her, remember?"

"Well, yeah, but we smashed her into a battleship! Then hit her with a ginormous ball of water! Then chopped her with a gargantuan sword of lightning! And then she exploded!" Dean protested. "I would have thought she'd be inconvenienced, at the least!"

The unseen dark phoenix laughed sinisterly. "You poor fools…fire can't hurt me! It only makes me STRONGER!"

"…But we hit you with water. And electricity," Salty said. "Which you're weak against."

"Well, actually, Moltres is weak to Water. Due to her Fire-type Electric attacks only do regular damage rather than double because of her Flying-type," Sparky corrected.

"Oh. Well, even so, that attack you hit her with was still a doozy," Salty said.

"Yeah, totally!" Dean agreed.

"Oh yeah, it really was…and it HURT LIKE THE ABYSS! But all the flames from that explosion helped to revive me…and now, I'm even STRONGER THAN EVER!" Moltres laughed maniacally as the flames rushed forward, pushing and pushing against Salty's water shield and causing it to sizzle and dissolve faster, filling up the interior with more and more steam. Needless to say, it was getting hot, and a little difficult to breathe. Well, for Sparky anyway, Salty's armor recycled the water vapor from the steam into something he could breathe, while Dean didn't need air.

"Okay," Sparky coughed, getting a little light-headed. "This is getting out of hand. Salty, how much water can you generate at one time?"

"A lot, but it takes a bit out of me," Salty said.

"Think you can make enough to extinguish those flames?" Sparky asked.

"…I'm not sure. But I can try!" Salty said, his tentacles extending outwards and stiffening, the jewels on his armor glowing as he gathered his power.

"Um, I don't know if there's much I can do, but I can add some water too…I guess…" Dean said. "I mean, every little bit counts, right?"

"It certainly does, even if it is a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very little bit," Salty said. "So little that you wouldn't even notice it. To the point where it might not make any visible difference at all, but is still influential on some level, even if only by an infinitesimally miniscule amount." Dean scowled at him. "Okay…stand back lads, this is going to be a big one!" Salty said.

"…Where are we supposed to stand back to? We're inside a bubble. Which you're about to expand," Sparky said.

"And flying," Dean pointed out.

"Hmm. Point. In that case, try not to move, if you're not inclined to get wet," Salty said.

"Since I'm pretty sure that if I get wet the resulting shock will kill us all—well, you, anyway, and possibly Dean-" Sparky started.

"Dammit, when am _I_ going to get a super-cool suit of armor?" Dean complained.

"I'll do my best not to move, so long as you do your best not to get any water on me," Sparky finished.

"I make no promises," Salty said just before his jewels all turned blue and started blasting out torrential streams of water in every direction, striking the weakening walls of the bubble ensconcing them and causing them to thicken and start expanding outwards. Sparky flinched as several of the streams came awfully close to him, but thankfully none touched him. He tried to pull back as much of the Zap Plate's power as he could into himself, shrinking his electrical output and reducing the chances of an arc of static making contact with any of the streams and electrocuting Salty. Dean opened his mouth and added a Hydro Pump to the mix, but it was unclear whether the miniscule amount of water he was putting out was enough to actually have any effect, much to his annoyance. Why did Vladimir tell him to stick with these guys? So far it seemed like they could have done just as well without him.

The bubble began to expand outwards as Salty pumped more and more water into it, swelling and building up mass faster than the flames could evaporate it, pushing back at the fire as it grew bigger and bigger and bigger until it finally burst, spraying water all over the place and causing the fire to recoil, giving the trio some much-needed breathing space. (Not that any of them needed to breathe except for Sparky, anyway.) "Ah, that's a bit better," Sparky said as he took several deep breaths to replenish his lungs.

"And less hot, too, though not by much," Dean commented, wiping away some sweat.

"Phew! That was a doozy…hope I don't have to do that again," the winded Salty said. "Which, of course, probably guarantees that I will…dammit."

Moltres cackled and appeared in the midst of the roiling mass of purple flames looming before them. "Bwahahaha! Was that little sprinkle the best you could do? I'm so hot—in both the literal and figurative sense, since I'm utterly gorgeous and _way_ sexier than that slut Articuno—that no amount of water could extinguish my flames! Even oceans would evaporate rather than douse my fire!"

"…What, seriously?" Dean cried incredulously.

"She's probably exaggerating at least a little, but one thing's for certain: water isn't affecting her as much as it should," Salty said in concern. "All the rain and snow flying about aren't doing a thing to that inferno."

"If anything, they're making it worse," Sparky commented as raindrops and hailstones kept falling on the great conflagration, which sizzled and steamed, growing hotter and darker (since it was evil fire, it burned black) as a result.

"Worse? Ohono, 'worse' doesn't even begin to describe what you're in for!" Moltres screeched as she spread her wings, Shadow Aura and flames swirling around her. The tremendous mass of purple flames surrounding her roared and shifted, taking on the appearance of a gargantuan bird of darkness.

"…Huh. Yeah, 'worse' doesn't even begin to describe that," Dean said weakly as the giant firebird loomed over them.

"All right, hang on, I think I can counter this-" Salty said, grunting as he struggled to muster enough power to generate a water construct to fight Moltres' fiery one. He was still a little tired from the effort he'd needed to get them out of that inferno, but he was sure he could manage something else about as good if he put enough willpower into it.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Sparky warned him before Salty could strain himself too much. "She said that there's no water strong enough to put out her flames, and at the moment I'm not sure even the Splash Plate can manage that."

"…Which is _stupid,_ because it's the frigging power of Arceus," Salty growled in frustration. "Which, by all means, should be able to put out any fire!"

"Even the fire so hot that no water can quench it?" Dean asked.

"Well, I should think so, it's _Arceus's _water," Salty said.

"Yes, but the fire comes from something else Arceus created, albeit corrupted and twisted," Dean pointed out. "So…that, like, cancels it out, or something. Maybe. I dunno, I'm sort of making this up as I go along."

"…Hmm. I think I see your point. Sounds like one of those 'unmovable object, irresistible force' scenarios, with no real winner," Salty commented.

"One solution that I heard was that both opponents should surrender," Dean said.

"What? That's crazy-talk, boy! Where'd you hear that rubbish?" Salty asked.

"I read it in a comic book," Dean said. "All-Star Supermon, to be precise."

"Psh! Must be a pretty stupid comic book to come up with a non-answer like that," Salty said with a derisive snort.

"Hey, that 'stupid' comic book won the Eyesner Award for 'Best New Series' in 996 and 'Best Continuing Series' in 997 and 999, the Hervey Awards for 'Best Artist' and 'Best Single Issue' in 998, the Braviary Awards for 'Favorite New Comic Book' and 'Favorite Comics Cover' in 996, as well as the 'Favorite Color Comicbook – Ameroupean' Braviary in 997," Dean said indignantly.

Salty stared at him blankly. "Is any of that supposed to mean something to me?"

Dean shook his head in exasperation. "If Grant Morison were here, he'd punch your lights out."

"That name supposed to mean something to me, too?" Salty asked skeptically. "And I'd like to see him try, there's no way a limp-wristed squinty-eyed weak-ass comic book writer could ever take me on!"

"You don't know Grant Morison," Dean said fervently. "And be grateful it's not Alan More. I heard Darkrai tried to reap him one time, and wound up getting it in the ass. And this one guy said in public that he'd actually liked the movie adaptation of 'Watchmon,' and Alan More crossed the ocean to rip his spine out."

"Now you're just making stuff up!" Salty said.

"Nuh-uh, it's a true story! The Internet said so!" Dean said stubbornly.

"Um, guys? Giant evil firebird?" Sparky said through gritted teeth, eye twitching.

"Huh? Oh yeah, I forgot about her," Salty said, blinking and turning to look at the giant bird-shape mass of purple flames.

"Sure was nice of her to let us float here talking about comic books for the last few minutes instead of destroying us," Dean said.

"Guess it's that 'talking is a free action' thing Zippo's always yammering on about. Pretty convenient, wouldn't you say, Sparkster?" Salty asked Sparky.

Sparky felt a very strong urge to run the armored Tentacool through with his sword. He wasn't sure if it was because he was invoking another of Zippo's dreaded tropes, or because he called him 'Sparkster.' "Very," he said, eye twitching as his teeth started grinding together, making a scraping noise like claws on a chalkboard.

"I WILL BURN YOU TO ASHES, THEN REDUCE THE ASHES TO SLAG, THEN DEFECATE ALL OVER THE SLAG, THEN BURN IT AGAIN, THEN FEAST ON THE ENTRAILS OF YOUR LOVED ONES!" Moltres howled, her giant firebird spreading its wings as it prepared to strike.

"Okay, I think I've regained enough power thanks to that lengthy chat with Goth-boy here to make a little beasty of my own to combat that thing," Salty said, his jewels glowing as water started rippling around him.

"I'm not a Goth, I'm a vampire," Dean complained.

"There's a difference?" Salty asked.

"Yes! Its modern teen culture and stupid romance novels and movies that create an association between the two," Dean ranted. "It's all the fault of cheesy writers and the stupid people who eat their stuff up that most representations of vampires these days are so Arceusdamned _fruity_ and-"

"Will you two shut up already?" Sparky snapped. "Salty, don't bother, like we pointed out before, throwing water at her will either have no effect or make her stronger. At least, it'll do that so long as she has so much fire around her. If we can get rid of that, she might be more vulnerable."

"…And how exactly are we supposed to do that without using water?" Salty asked incredulously. "Which, last time I checked, was the primary method by which dashingly heroic Pokémon like us go about removing fiery barriers protecting our enemies?"

"Those flames are generated and maintained by her will," Sparky reasoned. "If we can hit her hard enough to stun her, I think they'll dissipate on their own."

"And again, how are we supposed to do that without water?" Salty asked.

"With this," Sparky said, raising Durendal. "My attacks earlier seemed to actually have an effect on her…the holy power of the Zap Plate combined with my sacred sword must be enough to pierce the shroud of evil protecting her accursed form. If I can land a decisive blow, it may weaken her enough to give you and Dean the opportunity to hit her with your strongest attacks and actually damage her."

"…Hmm. A clever idea, lad," Salty murmured. "Sounds like it's worth a try to me."

"Yeah, but what if it doesn't work?" Dean said.

"It will," Sparky said.

"Yeah, but what if it doesn't?" the vampire persisted.

"It _will_," Sparky insisted.

"And how do you know that?" Dean demanded.

Sparky smiled serenely. "Because…I have faith." He pointed his sword at Moltres. "Onwards!" he cried to his steed, who emitted an electronic howl like cracking thunder and surged forwards, leaving sparks and bursts of static in its wake.

"…Faith? Seriously?" Dean asked incredulously. "That's his best answer?"

"Sparky's always been fairly religious," Salty said. "Comes from wielding a sacred sword that's been passed down in his family for generations and used in Arceus' name, I suppose. The fact that he's received a Plate of his own has only strengthened that faith, and the feeling that he is truly doing Arceus's will. Of course, that's pretty much what Judgment seems to be convinced they're doing too, but they don't have a sacred sword of their own so I suppose that just makes Sparks devout and in the right instead of a crazed fanatic. Or something. Religion's never really been something I've been big on, which I suppose must sound odd since I'm wearing one of the most holy relics of all time, which one would think would require a certain amount of faith in the divine to utilize. You?"

"Um, well, I have faith in the Mistress, if that counts for something," Dean said. "She's pretty much the only thing I believe in enough to worship and give praise to, these days. Although I'm not entirely sure I have a choice in the matter, since the process of turning me into a vampire sort of eternally bound me to her will whether I wanted to be or not."

"Just like all mons are bound to their fate, lad. Just like all mons are bound to their fate," Salty said sagely. "Well, except for the ones who can defy fate. Unless they're fated to defy fate…though that sounds rather like an oxymoron to me, personally."

Dean sweatdropped. "Right…" He wisely decided not to ask the captain where all this fauxlosophical waxing was coming from, because it would probably get him yelled at for assuming that an old mon of the sea couldn't have a pastime involving higher learning.

"Huh! I think you're running the wrong way, little mon!" Moltres cackled as Sparky rode towards her on his steed at lightning-fast (pun intended) speeds. "If I were you, I'd be going the _other_ way! Actually, if I were you, I'd have killed myself already, both for daring to raise your sword against me and because you're so damn ugly and stupid!"

"All you do by issuing such profanities is denigrate yourself further, and make it all the clearer just how far you have fallen from Arceus's light," Sparky retorted.

"Actually, I've always talked like this," Moltres said. "Even in the good old days."

Sparky paused. "…Really? Well…still, it makes you seem less like a deity and more like a petulant bully."

"Hey, I am what I am…and this bully's about to barbecue you to nothing!" Moltres roared as her flames billowed outward, the giant firebird shrieking and swooping right towards Sparky.

"So you admit you're a bully, then?" Sparky said with a grin. "Then you're aware of the most important thing about bullies, aren't you?"

"That they get to beat the crap out of anyone who looks at 'em the wrong way?" Moltres sneered, looking forward to doing just that to the knight.

"No…it's that when someone better and stronger than them inevitably shows up, they get their rears handed to them so hard they can do nothing but cry!" Sparky shouted as his Zap Plate armor pulsed, and with a thunderclap his steed transformed into a serpentine lightning bolt and shot forwards at…well, even faster lightning-fast speeds, rapidly eating up the distance between Moltres and itself. Sparky clutched his sword with both hands and drew it back, pointing it forwards and channeling his power into it, causing it to transform and elongate significantly into a line of pure electrical energy.

Alarmed by how swiftly Sparky was approaching—and how he was doing so with no fear or concern for the flames so hot they would reduce him to cinders in a flash were it not for his armor, and even with it there was a chance he could get cooked alive—Moltres lashed out, hurling tongues of flame and birds made of blazing purple fire at the electric knight. Sparky's lightning bolt steed zigzagged all over the place like…well, a lightning bolt, bobbing and weaving erratically to dodge the fiery prominences. Whatever Sparky did not dodge, he attacked, striking back with Thunderbolts and powerful slashes from the sacred sword Durendal. Every time the holy blade made contact with the Shadow flames, the whole firebird writhed, and Moltres winced slightly, while the glow and charge surrounding the sword grew brighter and stronger. Wincing in pain, Moltres slowly began to realize that perhaps she had underestimated the electric knight. She lashed out with her giant construct's fiery talons, trying to skewer him or snatch him off his mount, but Sparky's blade flashed through the air once, twice, three times, and the claws fell off and burned away to nothing, while the construct withdrew its legs with a shriek of agony, Moltres clenching her beak in pain. How was this possible? Those hadn't even been real legs! Then why did it feel like her own talons had been declawed?

Hissing, she extended her wings, and then folded them around herself, her construct mimicking her actions and attempting to smother Sparky in its fiery folds. Undeterred, the Pikachu cried out, his armor flaring and lighting up as tremendous arcs of electricity blasted out from his body, whirling around him and lashing out at the enclosing wings, ripping great tears in them and causing the construct to shriek again and spread its wings in reflex…

And thrusting its chest forward in the process, exposing Moltres. "No! No! Nononono! You can't be doing this! You can't! You _can't!_" she shrieked desperately as Sparky's mount reared back, energy crackling around it, then launched straight towards her like an arrow of lightning with Sparky at its tip.

"With the spirit of the Original One guiding me…there is nothing I cannot do!" Sparky declared, electricity surging all around him as he rocketed towards her.

"You're going to be with that spirit soon enough, if I have anything to say about it!" Moltres howled, opening her beak wide and spewing Shadow Fire at Sparky. The head of her construct far above her did the same, causing a twin stream of black fire to roar through the air towards Sparky.

"Oh no you don't!" Salty said, raising a large orb of water gripped in his tentacles over his head. "Have some of this, why don't you!" The surface of the orb rippled, and a tremendously powerful Hydro Pump shot out of it, racing over Sparky's head and colliding with the fire stream being emitted from the beak of Moltres's construct. Massive amounts of steam billowed out from the point of contact, and the black flames seethed, burning hotter and stronger and angrier as they raged against Salty's attack, slowly pushing back against the water jet.

"What was the point of that?" Dean cried in alarm. "You're just making it stronger!"

"No, what I'm doing is drawing it away from Sparky…as long as it's occupied with me, it can't roast him from above!" Salty explained, grimacing as he struggled to keep a steady amount of water pressure flowing at the dark flames.

"Ohhhh, I see. But…wait, there's still another one, and Sparky's heading right towards it!" Dean shouted worriedly.

Salty chuckled. "Oh, don't worry about that one. Sparky's got it under control."

This indeed seemed to be the case. Rather than dodging around the lethal blast of superhot black flames, Sparky continued shooting straight towards the corrupted firebird, his sword cleaving the air before him so finely that it whistled in his wake. The Shadow Fire struck…

And washed harmlessly over him, Durendal's gleaming and crackling tip slicing through the flames as easily as a hot knife through butter, causing the Shadow Fire to pass him on either side without touching his armored form. Moltres's eyes widened in horror, especially when she realized Sparky was literally seconds away from crashing into the chest of the bird, and, since she was no longer confident that her flames could keep him at bay, there was a good chance that if he continued on this course she was going to get shish-kebobed. Desperately she cut off her Shadow Fire and tried to turn and fly out of her construct before it was too late…

But of course, it had been too late the instant she'd chosen to fight a warrior who could move as fast as lightning. With the Shadow Fire no longer in his way to slow him down, Sparky accelerated so fast that he seemed to turn into a living laser beam, smashing into and piercing the flames making up the construct's chest with so much force they blasted away before him, leaving a gaping hole in his wake. Moltres didn't even have time to scream as Sparky overtook her, struck…

And continued on his way, tearing through the back of the construct with equal power to when he had entered it, leaving a giant chasm in the monster's amorphous form with a stunned Moltres floating in the center. The laser bolt decelerated and resolved itself into the form of Sparky, once again riding on the back of his lightning steed. With his back to the construct of Shadow fire, he closed his eyes and calmly sheathed his sword, which had returned to its original form. There was a beat, followed by a blood-curdling scream as the black flames exploded outwards in all directions, blasted apart by the tremendous flare of electrical energy that radiated out from Moltres in every direction. As the dark flames roiled in anguish and dissipated, their creator, her form blackened and smoking and crackling all over from residual electricity, tumbled from the air, helplessly spinning and turning end over end as she plummeted towards the ground, the eternal flames emanating from her form reduced to naught but weak embers and her Shadow Aura little more than a faint black outline around her body. She hit the ground with a sickening thud and lay there, still and inert, her fire at an all-time low.

"…THAT. WAS. SO. COOL!" Dean shouted after a long moment, jaw slack and eyes wide in wonder.

"That was incredible, lad!" Salty said as he and the Wooper came over to Sparky. "I didn't even know you could do something like that! Now I wish you'd have let me try something similar, it might have been able to overwhelm her fire after all!"

"It wouldn't have," Sparky said, eyes still closed. "Our Plates are powerful, but it was only because of my sacred sword and the blessings of Arceus that I was able to pierce her defenses and wound her like that. If you had tried something like what I did, it would have failed, and you might be sushi right about now, even with the Splash Plate."

"…Huh. You don't say," Salty murmured, looking disgruntled. "Hmm. I don't suppose you could tell me where I could find a sacred sword of my own? Maybe have the address of the blacksmith who made yours?"

"Afraid not," Sparky said. "He was a saint who died hundreds of years ago and ascended to the Celestial Heavens, or so the legends say…guh!" He doubled over in pain, face contorted in a grimace as static crackled around him and the beast beneath him shuddered and started losing its cohesion, arcs of electricity lancing out as it struggled to maintain its form and nearly striking the two Water-types.

"Hey, watch it!" Dean snapped.

"Sparky? What's wrong, lad?" Salty asked in concern.

"Gnnnhhh…I used up a lot of power in that last attack…" Sparky said through gritted teeth as he clutched his chest. "Took a lot…out of me. I'm going to need a few…minutes to recharge…"

"Then why don't you just fly into one of the lightning bolts coming down all over the place? That should refill your batteries in a snap, right?" Dean suggested.

Sparky shook his head. "It's…evil lightning. Summoned by Zapdos. It won't react well to my armor. I'll be fine in a few minutes, but until then, I'm useless to you…which means you have to finish off Moltres on your own."

A chill went through the air. "Finish…Moltres? But…but you beat her," Dean said in confusion. "She's…dead. Isn't she?"

Sparky shook his head. "No…not even close. Look for yourself…"

They did. Moltres lay far below them, sprawled out on the ground, broken and beaten and seemingly without life…

And then a talon twitched. Her eyes fluttered. A low moan issued from her cracked beak. The flames on her body, which had almost gone out, slowly began to rekindle.

"Uh oh…" Salty murmured.

"…Oh, come on! Seriously? SERIOUSLY?" Dean screamed incredulously.

"She's immortal…remember? Not even an attack like that…can kill her," Sparky grunted. "Just…inconvenience her for a bit. Ash is the only one who can slay her once and for all."

"But…but Ash isn't here!" Dean protested.

"No, but he's on his way. And when he gets here, he'll have an easier time fulfilling his destiny if Moltres is in no condition to fight back," Sparky said. "By the time I've recovered my strength, she'll have regained all of hers…plus extra. But if you can hit her with strong enough Water attacks while she's in her current condition…when her natural body heat is too weak to automatically dissolve and repel any water that comes her way…you may be able to knock her out, incapacitate her long enough for Ash to finish the job with minimal difficulties when he gets here."

"Hmm. All right, I think we can manage that, can't we, lad?" Salty asked Dean.

The Wooper blinked. "Huh? You talking to me?"

"Of course. You're a Water-type too, after all," Salty said.

"Well, yeah, but…not a strong one. I mean, okay, I'm stronger than most, since I'm a vampire, but just a low-ranking one, and nothing compared to you!" Dean said.

"True, true," Salty said. "Heck, I could probably take you even without the Splash Plate."

Dean frowned. "Okay, now that's kind of exaggerating, don't you think?"

"No. No, I don't," Salty said.

"He's right, he probably could take you even without the Splash Plate," Sparky said.

Dean's eye twitched. "Gee, thanks…"

"Regardless, even if you are nowhere near my level, I could use the help," Salty said. "Every little bit counts, after all."

"Well, I guess so," Dean admitted reluctantly.

Down below, Moltres grunted and raised her head weakly. "Uhhhh…mmmmm…nnnnnngaaahhhhhhhhhh!" she cried as her body shook, the flames on her head, wings, and other body parts flickering and slowly getting stronger.

"If you're going to strike, it has to be now," Sparky said. "Quickly, before she regains too much of her power!"

Salty nodded. "Right! Zubat-boy, you start hosing her down. I need a couple of seconds to muster up enough power for another big Hydro Cannon like the one I used before."

"Y-you're giving me first dibs? Uh, wow. S-sure, you can count on me!" Dean stammered. He turned towards Moltres, took a deep breath, and fired a powerful Hydro Pump down at the grounded firebird.

Moltres shrieked in pain as the high-pressure water spray splashed down on her, dousing her meager flames and causing them to hiss and steam. "Gah! Water! I hate water!" She squeezed her eyes shut and clenched her beak, body quivering. "N-no…I'm not…not gonna let you punks g-get the better of me! Hrrrrrrraaaaahhhh!" Her Shadow Aura flared weakly, and the flames on her body reignited, burning no matter how much water Dean showered them with. They danced and flickered and remained fairly weak, but moment by moment they began to increase in strength, the ground around the firebird starting to glow as her body temperature gradually increased. Much to Dean's alarm, the flames started pushing back against his Hydro Pump, and he would have said as much except his mouth was full generating said Hydro Pump.

Fortunately, Salty had by that point finished gathering enough moisture from the air around them to create another Hydro Cannon ball over his head. "Okay, lad…let's see how she likes a little of this, huh?" With a mighty yell, he threw the sphere at Moltres.

The firebird shrieked in pain as the Hydro Cannon joined the Hydro Pump, its mass and wetness pressing down on her and forcing her into the ground. "Aaaaaghhh! No…not…not again…gaaaaahhhhh!" Her panic and fury managed to pour more strength into her rekindling flames, which pushed back against the water bearing down on her…not very well, but pushing back all the same. In doing so, however, she was unable to regain any more of her strength than that, and by the way she had to force herself to keep on putting out heat—and the fact that the ground was melting around her, causing her to sink into it-it was clear that she would only be able to do this for so long before she ran out of steam and was overwhelmed by the water.

"Haha, it's working! Keep it up, lad!" Salty said, noticing Moltres's strength was flagging. "Just a bit more, and I think we've got her beat!"

"And just a little longer, and I think I might be able to help you as well," Sparky said as the crackling around his armor became less pronounced and his steed's form regained its stability. "I've almost got my strength back…once I do, we should be able to put Moltres down for the count, at least until Ash arrives."

"What's taking that guy so long, anyway? It feels like we've been waiting for him for months!" Salty complained.

"Well, time can sometimes feel like its being drawn out inexorably during a big battle," Sparky said.

"Hmm, I suppose that's true…huh? Dean, is something wrong?" Salty asked in alarm when the Wooper stiffened, shook, and abruptly stopped firing his Hydro Pump. Without this source of water, the pressure against Moltres lessened, not by a lot, but just enough for her flames to rekindle and push back with more strength, forcing Salty to grimace and focus harder to keep the firebird from recovering and repelling his Hydro Cannon.

"Dean, what are you doing? What's happening?" Sparky asked in concern.

"V-V-Vlad," Dean stammered, eyes wide in horror. "H-he…he's…"

"Melodramatic? Overbearing? Pretentious? Fat? Malodorous?" Salty guessed.

"Dead," Dean said faintly, face paler(r).

"Yes, we know, he's a vampire. Just like you," Salty said brusquely.

"No. I…I mean…I mean he's _dead_. As in…_really_, truly, dead," Dean whispered.

Down below, Moltres's eyes widened as she heard this. "What?"

"Wh-what?" Sparky stammered in alarm.

"He's…dead? How?" Salty demanded.

"And how do you know?" Sparky asked.

"I…it's our psychic link. Well, not psychic, since it's more of a Dark-type thing, but you know what I mean. It's the mystical connection that binds all vampires together. And through it, I…I feel…I felt…" Dean sagged, shivering. "He…the Count took a Shadow Bolt meant for Bob. He…he sacrificed himself to save that dumb mutt. And now he's…he's…gone. Nothing left of him. Not even his soul, since there aren't enough vampires here to keep it tied to our network. He's just…dead…"

"…Oh no…" Sparky whispered.

"No…no way…" Moltres rasped to herself, unheard by the others.

"What about the others? Rose and Happy? Are they all right?" Salty demanded.

"I…I think so…y-yeah, Bob says they're alive. But…but not…not Vlad…" he whispered. A tear rolled down his cheek. Dean didn't understand why. He hadn't even liked Vladimir. The bigger vampire had always bossed him about and forced him into dangerous situations he'd have been much happier staying far away from. So why…why did he feel so sad? Why did the Count's death fill him with such sorrow?

It was because a part of him had needed the older vampire, he realized. Dean was just a peasant-class vampire. Vladimir had been an aristocrat. As archaic and rigid as the caste system the vampire social hierarchy seemed to be structured around was, on some instinctual level the undead part of him had needed it, needed to know that there was someone higher than him who, if not always having his best interests at heart, was at the least someone who could be relied upon to give orders and make important decisions, decisions that he had been having trouble making on his own ever since his conversion, no doubt a side effect of receiving a second-generation dose of the virus. (At least it wasn't nearly as bad as being Bob, though he seemed to have gotten a boost in intelligence thanks to receiving a taste of Vlad's blood, lucky bastard. Why couldn't Dean have gotten some of that, too? He wouldn't mind a promotion.) Even if Vlad had occasionally been a dick, at least he'd been _there_, a comforting dark presence in the back of his mind where he had been able to hear the other voices and thoughts of his vampire brethren and the rebel network ever since his forced transformation. Once they'd escaped the Nihilators, all those voices and thoughts had faded away except for Vladimir and Bob, staving off some of the instinctive fear that arose from being so far away from the Mistress. But…but now that Vladimir was gone…

That sheltering presence was gone. It was just him and Bob now. The only two free vampires in all the world, with nobody to rely on except each other, and barely any connection remaining to the rest of their kin. He felt…alone. So very, very alone. (Yes, he was still connected to Bob, but a case could be made that he was still alone. He barely knew the guy, considering up until now he'd been a slavering mongrel.) Trembling, he curled up into a ball as despair washed over him, counterpoint to the burning rage he could sense from Bob, a rage that threatened to overwhelm him.

Moltres was burning (literally) with rage as well over Vladimir's death, but for a different reason. "No! No! No fucking way!" she shrieked angrily, eyes flashing red as the flames from her body grew stronger and stronger. "Fucking ZAPDOS killed one of the vampires before me? And the highest-ranking one at that? And now has an opportunity to kill a _second?_ THIS! WILL! NOT! STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND!" Powered by her fury and indignation, her fires exploded outwards in a tremendous conflagration, vaporizing the ground around her and transforming the Hydro Cannon into a cloud of steam that was immediately destroyed as a tremendous pillar of Shadow Aura flames shot upwards, pushing the three Pokémon back from the intense heat and force of the blast.

"Oh crap," Salty grimaced.

"No! We missed our opportunity!" Sparky cried.

"You bet you did, punks!" Moltres roared as she rose up the center of the pillar. "And now I've got MY opportunity…to get back at you idiots for dousing me with your disgusting water, and claim a vampire kill of my own! I may not be able to catch up to Zapdos's tally, but at least I'll have one-up on that bitch Articuno, and as long as I'm better than her, I don't mind being second-place! Much…"

"Damn! Looks like we have to start all over again…" Salty growled in frustration.

"We were able to knock her down once, we can do it again," Sparky said. _I hope._ "Dean! Are you with us?"

"Wh-what?" the Wooper stammered, having been zoned out for the last few seconds.

"I'm sorry about Vladimir, but now isn't the time to lose your focus. We need to work together to survive, which means utilizing our power to its fullest. Do you think you can handle that?" Sparky asked.

"I…y-yeah. I…I think so," Dean stammered, having no such certainty. He knew how important this was, he knew this wasn't the time to lose his grip and break down, but…how could he fight, with this gaping hole inside of him? How could he fight, when Vladimir was dead, and one of the constants in his unlife was gone?

The same way Bob was, he realized. And that was to transform his grief into anger. Moltres might not be responsible for Vladimir's death…but she was part of the reason his master was dead, and that would have to suffice. "Let's…let's do this!" he said.

"Yes," Moltres sneered. "Let's!" She swooped down to attack, and the fight started anew.

And in the meantime, the biggest battle yet was going on not too far away as the corrupted Lugia went up against the powerhouses of Lady Bow, Goldor, Silvia, Buck, and the indomitable Captain Thaddeus Irving Briney. Each of these five heroes was a formidable warrior in their own right, capable of defeating small armies on their own. (Well, okay, maybe Buck couldn't, but his parents could. When working together. Which sort of defeats the 'on their own' thing…okay, you know what, just forget I said that.) Together, they created a force capable of decimating battle fleets and toppling giants. (Okay, technically they hadn't toppled any frost giants on their own, but they helped others too, and if Bow had been working with them yesterday rather than fighting Marianne, they totally would have!)

Unfortunately for them, Lugia was a god, and so was just as strong, if not more so, than their combined power was. Their strongest spells and techniques just seemed to slip off the sleek black crystallized Shadow covering his body. "It's no good! Our strongest spells and techniques just seem to slip off the sleek black crystallized Shadow covering his body!" Goldor complained as the extremely deadly and forbidden spell that would have had him stripped of his magic and locked up for a few centuries in another dimension if any respectable authority figure from the magical community had seen him using it (fortunately, Bow was 'conveniently' looking the other way when she saw he was starting to cast it and started taking interest in the marvelous way the chaotic elements were clashing with each other) struck Lugia and dissipated harmlessly, his skintight body armor not even remotely scratched.

"If it weren't so ugly—and pure evil—I wouldn't mind having jewels of a similar quality and strength for my collection, I doubt anyone else would have anything quite like them!" Silvia commented.

"Actually, Mozzer 'as a number of exquisite gems made of solidified darkness zat give off an absolutely breaztaking black glow in ze moonlight and look positively _stunning_ in 'er evening wear," Bow gushed.

"…Oh. Yes. So she does. I had forgotten," Silvia said, somewhat disgruntled.

Goldor sighed, already sensing what was on his wife's mind without needing to use his Psychic powers to read it. "Fine, I'll look into getting you some when this is over."

"Zat may be a bit difficult, Mozzer got zem from ze dark side of ze Moon. Zey were a gift from Darkrai to repay 'er for rescuing one of 'is younger and less experienced Dark Clefairies from a terrible fate," Bow said.

"Oh," Goldor said, looking crestfallen.

"You know, I hear that Dark Clefairies tend to frequent Dusk Forest near the Ghost town of Twilight's Edge," Briney said, feeling a little sorry for the Claydol. He knew what it was like to have trouble finding something nice for the missus…oh, Peeko…

Goldor perked up at this. "Oh! Do they now?"

"Oh yes. And they're especially fond of Leppa Berries. Or so I've been told," Briney said, recalling what he'd learned from picking through the minds of his teammates without their permission.

"You don't say? Dearest, what do you say to a little vacation to Twilight's Edge after this unpleasantness has been settled?" Goldor suggested to his wife.

Silvia fidgeted uneasily. "I don't know…that place has a bit of a…reputation regarding its inhabitants being tricksters who love to play pranks and frighten outsiders."

"And weren't they having a problem with some evil force devouring Ghosts?" Buck asked. "Not that that would be a problem for us, but, you know, a place suffering from a curse doesn't exactly seem like a good place for a vacation."

"Oh, they took care of that," Briney said. "It's not a problem anymore."

"Oh. Well, that's good, I guess," Buck said uncertainly.

"Yeeeeess…while it's a relief to know Twilight's Edge is rather curse-free, I'm not sure how I'd feel about going there for a restful and relaxing trip, which is certainly the sort of thing we could use after all this hullaballoo…" Silvia said dubiously.

"Oh! Did you say Twilight's Edge? Oh, I love zat place!" Bow said eagerly. "I've spent so many carefree summer nights in zat town…basking in ze moonlight, frolicking in ze woods, 'aving any number of delightful midnight dalliances wiz ze locals, 'anging out at our family's extensive and luxurious crypt and estate…"

"We're going to Twilight's Edge for vacation!" Silvia declared loudly. "And buying some property while we're at it!"

"Of course we are," Goldor said wearily.

"Oh, brother," Briney muttered, rolling his eye.

"Um, guys, shouldn't we do something about that enormously powerful attack Lugia's charging up?" Buck asked anxiously.

"What enormously powerful attack?" Goldor asked. Buck pointed at the perfect sphere of absolute darkness forming in Lugia's jaws. "Oh. That one."

"Everyone, MOVE!" Briney shouted, quickly flying out of the way.

"You don't zink we can guard against it?" Bow asked.

"After seeing what he was capable of the first time he used that move? Not bloody likely!" Briney said.

"Ah. Zat is a very good point. RUN AWAY!" Bow shouted, her form dissolving into wind so she could move faster.

They got out of the way just before Lugia released his Shadow Blast, emitting hundreds of beams of purple and black energy that combined into a single ridiculously massive beam that blasted outwards, destroying every Nihilator ship in its path down to the smallest molecule and tearing another vile gaping rift in the desert floor that stretched for miles and miles into the distance.

The heroes stared at the giant chasm and the particles that were all that remained of the Nihilator battleships, stunned. "…I'm guessing we should try not to get hit by that," Goldor said after a moment.

"I'm not sure even I could survive one of those," Briney murmured uneasily. "Well, _maybe_ one, but not more than that. Probably. Okay, possibly two, but that's it. Unless-" Goldor coughed. "Right, right, never mind."

"Wait…where's Lady Bow?" Silvia gasped, looking around in alarm and realizing Bow was not with them. "Oh no! She must have gotten hit by the Shadow Blast and was completely destroyed! Ohhhh, her mother's going to kill me! Then resurrect me and kill me again! Then put my soul in an inanimate object and leave it in some dark corner to gather dust for the next few centuries! And it'll be an ugly and unfashionable object, too! Oh, the _horror!_"

Briney sweatdropped. "Really? That's what she's worried most about? That she won't look good as an inanimate object?"

"That's my wife for you," Goldor grumbled not at all good-naturedly.

Buck shook his head. "Oh, Mom…"

"Why aren't the rest of you panicking as well? Lady Bow is DEAD!" Silvia shrieked.

"Of course she is, she's a Ghost," Buck said.

"Well, yes, that's true, but now she's deader than dead!" Silvia wailed. "And I will be too, soon enough!"

"Well, look on the bright side, at least now you'll be a permanent fixture of Fantina's household," Goldor joked.

Silvia perked up, taking the comment at face value. "Oh! Yes, I suppose that is the case, isn't it? Well then, I guess _something_ good will come out of all this." Goldor facepalmed. Buck snickered. Briney rolled his eye.

"I zink you're overreacting a bit. Mozzer would never do zat to you even if I _were_ dead, which isn't ze case," Bow's voice whispered on the wind.

Silvia sighed in relief. "Oh, thank goodness, that's such a relief…wait…who said…"

"AAAAAHHH! GHOST!" Buck screamed.

"Of course it's a Ghost. Bow's a Drifblim. That's a Ghost-type, last time I checked," Briney chided the Baltoy.

"Oh. Uh. Right. I knew that!" Buck said quickly.

"No, you didn't," Goldor said.

Buck turned red. "Sh-shut up, Dad!"

"You can't talk to me like that, boy!" Goldor snapped, giving him a telekinetic shove.

"I can say whatever I want!" Buck yelled, shoving him back.

"No you can't," Silvia said.

"Yes, Mom," Buck said glumly.

"So, uh, Lady Bow," Briney said loudly, trying to ignore the family drama. "You got out okay, I take it. Why can't we see you?"

"She obviously became invisible and intangible, like most Ghosts can," Goldor huffed.

"Close, but not quite," Bow said as a gust of wind blew by and a small cyclone whirled into being before them, coalescing into the familiar figure of the wealthy Drifblim. "I can turn into wind zanks to my evolution. So I just became like ze air and breezed out of ze way. Which I zink I might 'ave to do again since Lugia's about to fire on us again."

"What? Oh, crap!" Buck yelled when they turned and saw Lugia powering up another Shadow Blast.

"Buck! Language!" Silvia chided him.

"What? Dad's used worse. In fact, he's using worse right now!" Buck said.

"Son of a g********** f***********! Why the f**** does all this f****** s****** happen to me? F******t my life! Always surrounded by miserable f****ing clods! Like this whole world just likes to bend me over and f****** me in the a*******! Like I'm some sort of s***********! Well as far as I care, these miserable c****s can have a f**************, with an Arceusdamned Tepig!" Goldor shouted.

Silvia gasped. "DEAR!"

Goldor flushed. "Er. I did not mean to say that out loud."

"I don't think I even know what most of those words mean. Could you teach me, Dad?" Buck asked.

"Absolutely not!" Silvia said shrilly before the in-hot-water Claydol could reply.

"I'd be more than happy to," Briney offered.

"NO!" Silvia bellowed.

"Awwww," Briney and Buck whined in disappointment.

"Um, _excusez-mois_, but, ah…ze impending attack?" Bow asked, pointing to Lugia.

"Oh, right. That thing," Goldor said. There was a beat. "EVERY MON FOR THEMSELVES!"

"I LIKE THAT STRATEGY, EVEN IF I HATE RUNNING FROM ANYTHING!" Briney said as they quickly flew out of the way just before Lugia could fire his Shadow Blast, vaporizing even more Shadow Blasts, rending another great fissure into the earth, and also reducing a distant mountain to a smoking crater.

"I-I don't know how much more of this I can take," Silvia panted, fanning herself with a…well, a fan that she had conjured up. "All this running and fighting is stressing me out something fierce…which can't be good for my complexion!"

"I can give you some skin polish for zat later," Bow offered.

"Oh, could you? That would be most kind!" Silvia said gratefully.

Briney coughed. "Ahem. Ladies? Hate to interrupt the chit-chat, but if we want to have a go at actually damaging the big guy, now's our chance!"

"Huh? What are you talking about?" asked the confused Buck.

"Ah, so you noticed it as well, Captain? I suppose I shouldn't be surprised," Goldor said, looking pleased.

"Goldor, what are you both talking about?" Silvia demanded.

"Haven't you noticed how Lugia is just hovering in place and making no motion to attack us?" Goldor asked, pointing at the strangely motionless legendary bird.

"…'mm. Now zat's interesting. Why is 'e doing zat?" Bow wondered.

"Every time he's fired one of those big-ass blasts at us, he doesn't do anything for several seconds before attacking us again, which is why we've been able to pack in so much insightful commentary about fashion and family drama in between blasts," Briney said.

"So _that's_ how we've been able to waste so much time talking without being interrupted…" murmured the amazed Silvia.

"Really? I figured it was just that 'talking is a free action' thing those Leo and Zippo guys are always going on about," Buck said.

Briney's eye twitched. "Yes. Well. It could be that too. In any event, it looks to me like that super attack of his is so powerful that the big fellow has to take a minute or two to cool off and recharge before trying it or any other move again, just like some of the techniques regular Pokémon like us use. And in those few minutes is our time to strike!"

"Brilliant!" Silvia gasped.

"_Tres magnifique!_" Bow agreed, applauding the strategy.

"Uh, just one problem," Buck said. "Our attacks did zip-all to him before due to that weird armor covering him. Why would that be any different now?"

"Because, if you'll concentrate your senses like I've admonished you to on many occasions so that you could focus on your lessons rather than wasting all your time daydreaming, you'd notice that the sense of vileness radiating off of Lugia is less repugnant now than it was before," Goldor said.

They closed their eyes and looked. "'e's right! I mean, 'e's still pretty 'orrible, but it's not quite as bad as it was just a moment ago!" Bow cried.

"That super attack of his drains a lot of power…including from his defenses!" Briney surmised. "Which means if we want to hit him where it hurts, we have to do it now, while he's still weak!"

"Right-o! Now's our chance!" Goldor enthused.

Bow nodded. "So I can see! Very well. You four go a'ead and soften 'im up. I need a moment to gazzer ze power I need for an attack zat should really put ze 'urt on 'im!"

"We'll give you as much time as you need, my lady," Silvia said dutifully.

"Heh, we might even be done with him before you're ready!" Buck boasted. "Well…okay, maybe not, but…"

"All right! I've got first crack at him!" Briney said, punching a fist into his hand.

"What? Why do you get to go first?" Goldor complained.

"Because I! AM! BRINEY!" the Metang roared as he rocketed towards Lugia.

"…Well. There's no arguing with that," Goldor said after a moment.

Briney drew back his right fist, charging his power into it as he shot towards the corrupted deity. "All right, bucko, you've had your fun, but now it's time for you to find out why I'm the Nihilator's enemy number one! RrrrrraaaaaaAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" He swung his fist at Lugia's head with all his might, delivering a Meteor Mash so strong it would have cracked a mountain…

And Lugia flinched. He recoiled his head and snarled angrily at the Metang. That was it. That was all the reaction Briney's devastating blow pried out of him. _What? Seriously? That's two super-strong opponents in a row now that my punches have had no effect on!_ Briney thought incredulously as he shook out his hand, which was ringing a little. (No, not stinging—well okay, it was doing that too—ringing. He was made of metal, after all.) _At least the last guy had the excuse of being a giant, but this one's…well, big, but not nearly the size of that frost giant! And it can't just be that he's a god, too, I hit Kyogre about as hard and I'm pretty sure I hurt her at least a little bit…is this just another side-effect of that Shadow crap they've infused him with? If so, Ash has his work cut out for him…as do the rest of us…_ Lugia's eyes narrowed, and Briney snapped out of his thoughts, realizing their window of opportunity was closing. His punch hadn't worked, but he had stronger attacks than that to fall back on. "A tough guy, huh? Then let's see how you like a little explosive percussion!"

He surged forward, wrapping his arms around Lugia's chest, grimacing as the Shadow armor began to corrode his skin, purple rust forming on his limbs. Lugia blinked in surprise and looked down in confusion, not understanding why the Metang was hugging him. He got his answer when Briney Exploded, engulfing the dark bird in a tremendous…explosion. As the attack name sort of implied. Both Briney and Lugia were flung in opposite directions from the blast, smoking and blackened. (Well, blacker in Lugia's case.) "All right, hit him!" Briney shouted at the Goldorringtons as he spun end over end through the air, trying to regain control of himself.

"All right! Let's show that lout that our metallic finish isn't just for show!" Goldor shouted, beginning his Rapid Spin.

"Although it's very pretty, and I'm not too happy about all the dents and scuff marks we've been accumulating over the last day and a half," Silvia complained.

"Mom, we can always buff and polish those off later," Buck said.

"Yes dear, I know, but it's the principle of the matter," she grumbled as she started spinning as well. Buck joined her, and then all three of them flung themselves at Lugia, spinning around and around him and bashing into him repeatedly at high speeds, stunning him and knocking him off balance. Briney, who had by that point regained _his_ balance, threw it off again by starting another spin—though this one was controlled, and on his terms—and whirled towards Lugia with Gyro Ball. The Goldorringtons backed off and clustered around Briney, spinning around him and combining their powers to create a metallic tornado that slammed its tip into Lugia's chest like a drill, causing the dark god to grit his teeth in pain as it propelled him back, smashing him into a battleship and pressing him into its side, the metal around him crumpling as the metal tornado pushed him harder and harder into the hull. Lugia roared in frustration, mustering his power…

And the tornado stopped, the four Pokémon arresting their spin and backing off. Lugia only had a moment's respite, however, before they unleashed a quadruple Hyper Beam (well, sextuple, actually, since Goldor and Silvia were capable of firing one Beam from each arm) that collided with the fallen god and exploded with enough force to rip the battleship in two, and then each of those halves exploded, and then the explosions exploded even harder as the blasts reacted to each other. (I don't care if that's not possible; it's cool so we're running with it.)

"Oooh," Buck whispered in awe as the light from the flames reflected off his bronzed (literally) skin.

"Eh, I've made bigger explosions," Briney said off-handedly.

"Do you suppose that finished him?" Silvia asked hopefully.

Goldor snorted. "Don't be preposterous, any moment now he'll rise from the flames like the wrathful deity he is to wreak vengeance on us." As if on cue, Lugia arose from the fiery remnants of the explosion, flames trailing his form and giving him the appearance of a phoenix, which was strange since Moltres was the only actual phoenix present, and he certainly couldn't be mistaken for Ho-Oh because he was too purple. (And because Ho-Oh was in Oblivion's Shadow's lab, being killed and resurrected repeatedly, but that's not important at the moment.)

"O-oh my!" Silvia gasped in alarm.

"Told you so," Goldor said smugly.

"What? There's not even a scratch on him!" Buck cried in astonishment, staring at the sleek black Shadow coating Lugia's form in incredulity.

"No, but it made him angry, which means it had _some_ effect on him," Briney said.

"Yes, except that he's going to take that anger out on us, which seems like a very bad thing," Silvia said nervously.

"Too bad Lady Bow's going to hit him first," Briney said.

Silvia blinked. "She is?"

"YES, I AM!" Bow shouted at the top of her lungs so that she could be heard over the roaring winds and air spirits swirling around her. "GET OUT OF ZE WAY!"

They complied, clearing the air between Lugia and Bow. The dark god's red eyes widened in surprise when he saw that while he had been distracted by the others, Bow had once again summoned her air elemental friends and coaxed them into the form of an immense dragon made completely out of wind, with the Drifblim sorceress placed in its mouth. The dragon's mouth was open, the elementals making up its body funelling into its jaws as Bow spun at high speeds, drawing the spirits to her and adding their power to hers, the wind swirling around her taking on a violet hue in the process. Lugia quickly opened his jaw, trying to summon the power necessary for a Shadow Blast, but he was too late. Bow used Ominous Wind, channeling all her power and the power of the wind elementals into a purple cyclone that spiraled out from her spinning body towards Lugia, making it look like the wind dragon she was inside was utilizing a breath attack.

The purple cyclone slammed into Lugia with so much force that if he had been a lesser being, he'd have been torn apart instantly. Fortunately for Lugia, he was made of sterner stuff than most mortals, but in spite of his divinity and Shadow power the attack still packed quite a punch, so much so that it smashed him through two dozen battleships in rapid succession, each exploding violently moments after he'd passed through one side and out the other, carried him beyond the edge of the battlefield, out into the desert, and finally sent him crashing into a mesa so far away that even if there weren't a raging storm reducing visibility to almost zero it still would have been difficult to make out. The tremendous explosion that arose from the crash site, however, was impossible to miss.

"…Whoooooooaaaaaaa," Buck said finally.

Briney blinked. "Well," he said after a moment. "That was certainly something."

"I don't know whether to be awestruck and impressed or envious beyond measure," Goldor said, a vacant look in his eyes.

"How about both? That's how I always feel around the Duchess and her retinue," Silvia said wistfully.

"All right, I suppose that'll suffice," Goldor said.

"Phew!" a worn-out and very dizzy Bow said as she wobbled over to them, giggling wind elementals swirling around her. "I zink zat was even stronger zan ze attack I used to destroy Marianne's Meta Forme!"

"Yes, too bad it didn't take him out," Briney said, taking a telescope out of his hat and squinting through it with his good eye as he tried to focus on the shattered mesa where Lugia had fallen. He wasn't able to see much, though, thanks to the rotten weather. He grumbled in annoyance and put the telescope back in his hat.

"What? What makes you so sure of that?" Silvia asked frantically, eyes wide with panic. "H-how do you know that didn't defeat him, and he's unconscious and buried beneath several hundred tons of solid rock?"

"Because it's never that easy," Briney said grimly.

Naturally, the veteran sailor was correct. The upper two-thirds of the mesa had been completely vaporized; leaving a smoking crater of rock that had melted, fused into glass, and broken into jagged fragments and formations in its place. At the very epicenter of the crater lay a sizzling blackened lump of stone, looking like a meteor that had crashed to Earth and created the devastation surrounding it.

Except, of course, that it was no meteor. It wasn't even stone, as became clear when two slits formed in the surface of the lump and started glowing with an eerie red light. The ground began to shake, pebbles and bits of stone jittering and dancing across the ground. The fused glass cracked and broke, then broke again as deep fissures started zigzagging out from the black lump in every direction, purple light glowing in their depths. Slowly, the lump unfolded, a long neck and two immense wings stretching up and out to either side. Black flames began to burn around the figure as it turned to face the fleet of battleships far away, red eyes scanning the distant armada for something…or rather, someone. Or rather, _several_ someones.

It found them. Shadow Lugia threw his head back and _roared,_ and the ground erupted in a tumult of Shadow Aura, a tremendous pillar of black fire roaring up into the heavens and punching a hole through the thick black clouds covering the desert plains. A shockwave raced out from the blast and struck the edge of the fleet, vaporizing the smaller vessels instantly and sending several of the larger ones flying, colliding with each other or the biggest ships and exploding, flinging shrapnel and great flaming pieces of wreckage all over the place. The five Pokémon grimaced and braced themselves as the shockwave, most of its force blunted due to all the ships it had passed through but no less potent, washed over them. "Welp, looks like we pissed him off," Briney grunted.

"You _think?_" Goldor shouted.

"Mom! Dad! Capt'n Briney! Lady Bow! Heeeeeelp!" Buck screamed as he found himself no longer able to withstand the crushing force and was flung away from the group.

"SON!" Goldor and Silvia cried in horror.

"I've got him!" Briney said through gritted teeth, eye glowing as he used Psychic to grab the Baltoy and stop his uncontrolled flight.

"And I've got ze rest of us!" Bow said as she hardened the air in front of them into a shield, cutting off the super-strong winds blasting out from Lugia's explosion and creating a pocket of calm air around them.

"Oh, my baby!" Silvia sobbed gratefully, wrapping Buck in a tight hug.

"Ack! Mooooom!" Buck groaned as he was smothered with kisses.

"Well done, milady!" Goldor said.

"Yes, but who's got _him_?" Briney asked as he pointed to the black speck in the center of the pillar of Shadow rising in the distance, the glow from the dark god's red eyes so bright he was able to see it even from so far away.

"Er…that's a very good question…" Goldor said faintly.

Lugia had himself, or so it seemed. With a snarl, the deep-sea bird folded his wings to his side and shot forwards, spinning as he flew towards the fleet. As he did so, the Shadow followed him, wrapping around his twirling form and building in power and intensity, swiftly turning into a horizontal cyclone of pure darkness. That purity didn't last long, however, as the intense forces generated by the cyclone churned up the air and ground around and beneath it, sucking embers and hailstones and lightning and sheets of rain from the skies and tearing out huge chunks of rock and sand from the desert floor and incorporating them into its mass, growing larger and deadlier as it swelled up into a variegated drill of multi-elemental power.

And then it got even BIGGER when, without warning, the desert floor erupted and a tremendous waterspout burst up from deep beneath the ground, arced into the air, and spilled onto the cyclone, getting wrapped up in its length and quickly enfolding the whirling mass in a thick sheet of rippling, churning water. "Well, crap," Briney murmured. "That doesn't look good."

"What…what the…where did that water come from?" Silvia asked incredulously. "We're in a desert! There shouldn't BE water!"

"Actually, it's not unheard of for there to be vast aquifers of water buried deep underground, even in barren and seemingly lifeless areas like this desert. Lugia must have used his incredibly powerful Psychic abilities or a Water-type attack to draw water from the aquifer to the surface and add it to his attack," Buck said.

Everyone stared at him in amazement. "Zat's what I was about to say!" Bow said, miffed.

"Where did you learn about that, boy?" asked the amazed Goldor.

"He must have gotten it from one of his tutors! Oh, you see Goldor, I told you that his low grades and test scores were due to disinterest rather than low intelligence or a short attention span!" Silvia said triumphantly.

"Actually, I learned about it on television," Buck said.

Silvia deflated visibly. "Oh. Well…was it at least an educational program?"

"Um…it was a cartoon," Buck said slowly.

"…An _educational_ cartoon?" Silvia asked desperately.

"It was one with lots of explosions and hot babes," Buck said.

"Ah," Silvia said, sagging.

"Well, to be fair, technically that _is_ educational," Goldor commented. "Just…not the kind of education you were thinking of."

"Sounds like my kind of show, though," Briney said.

"Oh, you'd definitely like it, Cap'n!" Buck said enthusiastically. "Even though the heroes aren't quite as monly or badass as you."

"Well, that's to be expected, lad, I set a pretty high bar for monliness," Briney said, patting the Baltoy on the head.

"You sure do, Cap'n!" Buck said. "You're a much better role model than my Dad!"

"What? This is an outrage! You prefer that, that, that rough-and-tumble sailor over your own father?" Goldor sputtered incredulously.

"His mustache is better than yours," Buck said.

Briney nodded. "Can't argue with that logic."

"I say, it _is_ a sight nicer than yours, Goldor," Silvia said, appraising the males' facial hair.

Bow sighed. "Such a pity 'is 'eart belongs to anozzer…"

Goldor fumed and crossed his arms angrily. "Dash it all…I just can't win, can I?"

"Nope," Briney said. "Speaking of which, the rest of us might lose too if we don't do something about that giant cyclone coming towards us. Options?"

"Per'aps we could combine our powers to create a tornado of our own?" Bow suggested. "It seemed to work pretty well before."

"Yeah, we were totally awesome!" Buck agreed.

"But can we pull it off with the weather the way it is now? I thought there could only be one weather condition at a time during a battle or something like that…" Silvia said.

"Considering the current weather conditions, I think that rule's been safely thrown out the window," Goldor said as snow fell from the sky alongside fireballs and lightning bolts. "I think we can pull it off."

"Works for me," Briney said. "All right! Everyone, start spinning! Let's show Lugia he's not the only one who can make a showy twister!"

"Yeah!" the others cheered.

The Goldorringtons positioned themselves around Briney as Bow dissolved into purple wind and started swirling around them. Briney began rotating, slowly at first but quickly building up speed as he whirled into a Gyro Ball. Simultaneously, the Goldorringtons started twirling around him in a Rapid Spin. As they span faster and faster, they began to blur togethere, until a multihued metallic tornado formed around them. Bow added her own power to the mix, causing a purple streak to appear alongside the gold, silver, bronze, and blue from the others and causing the cyclone to spin faster and grow much larger, towering into the sky and churning the clouds above, twisting them around and drawing them into its funnel to increase its mass and power, snow and flames and lightning crackling around the cyclone as they were all sucked in and absorbed by the unnatural weather pattern. Within seconds, it was just as big as the tornado being generated by Lugia, if not bigger. With a mighty groan, the tip of the cyclone rose off the ground, something that didn't usually happen in nature, and pointed itself at Lugia. With a tremendous, earth-shaking roar, the tornado lunged forwards, smashing through every battleship in its path as it raced to meet its nemesis, the dark twister. In the depths of the Shadow flames and other elements swirling around him, Lugia's red eyes narrowed and he shot forward, rapidly eating up the distance between him and the shining cyclone.

When the two smashed into each other at the edge of the battlefield, the shockwave that blasted out from the point of impact was nothing less than earth-shattering. The ground for several dozen kilometers was blasted away, leaving a tremendous crater in its place. The nearest battleships were disintegrated, and those further away were shoved back at intense and uncontrollable speeds that sent most of them careening into each other, causing a chain reaction of explosions that condemned hundreds more Nihilators to the depths of the Abyss. Even the distant Arachnoblast, still relentlessly chasing after the escaping luggage car and engine, was shaken, and it might have lost its balance if it weren't for the fact that it had eight legs.

A shrill grinding roar echoed out across the plain as the tips of the two tornadoes ground against each other, clashing again and again, sparks and flames and oddly-colored winds billowing all over the place as they repeatedly collided, each throwing all the immense power at their disposal into their thrusts, causing an enormous amount of energy to build up at the point the two cyclones touched, since all the force of the twin storms was flowing directly into that single point. A force that, for the moment, seemed to be frustratingly equal…

Or was it? One cyclone was being generated by the indomitable and seemingly invincible Captain Briney, a family of incredibly wealthy and powerful mages, and the even wealthier and more powerful daughter of the still wealthier and more powerful greatest magician in the world, one who could command the very wind and air itself. Opposing such an impressive union was nothing less than a physical god, one of Arceus' eldest offspring, the immortal guardian of the depths, augmented by hatred and rage and the power of Shadow. But there was only one of Lugia on one side, and five of the mortal (or semi-mortal) Pokémon on the other. Between the two of them, which was strongest? Which would be able to overcome the other? Or would indeed _both_ have to surrender, as Dean claimed was what was supposed to happen when an irresistible force met and immovable object?

However, that would not be the case, validating Captain Salty's argument with the vampire Wooper, as one tornado was indeed able to overwhelm the other.

And unfortunately for the heroes, that tornado was Lugia's.

With a horrific roar, Lugia lunged forwards, pushing with all his formidable and seemingly unstoppable might, channeling all his fury into the storm ensconcing him…and confronted with such rage and anger, the wrath of a fallen god, the shimmering many-colored whirlwind came apart at the seams, shining wind blasting all over the place as Lugia's dark cyclone shattered the tip and plowed right down the interior, causing Bow to shriek in unfathomable agony as her consciousness was shredded apart by the whorl of darkness forcing the air currents she had bound herself to apart. As the tornado crumbled and their spinning started going off-kilter and out of control, an alarmed Briney saw the tip of the dark cyclone drilling straight towards them, and knew there was no way they could get out of the way in time. Even if they had time to stop spinning, they'd be so disorientated and dizzy they wouldn't be able to tell up from down, let alone know which way to go to evade the evil whirlwind and the red-eyed shadow churning in its core.

There was, however, enough time for him to do one last vain heroic act and get the Goldorringtons to safety. "Sorry about this, but you'll thank me later, assuming you all land in one piece," Briney shouted as his body started glowing.

"WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU, THE WIND IS TOO LOUD-" Goldor bellowed over the roaring wind (and Lugia), but the intent of Briney's statement soon became clear when the Metang Exploded, violently knocking the Goldorringtons out of their gyrations around him and sending them flying in all directions, screaming as they uncontrollably spun through the air away from the Captain.

_Hope__they__don__'__t__hit__anything__too__hard,_ Briney thought to himself with a faint smile as the trio vanished into the distance. That smile turned into a grimace when he saw that Lugia had almost reached him. _Although__I__suppose__the__same__could__be__said__of__me._ In the last few milliseconds he had left, he crossed his arms in front of him, using Iron Defense, and Protect, and every other defensive technique he could think of, praying it would be enough to save him. And if it didn't…

Well, at least he'd be seeing Peeko again.

When the tip of Lugia's tornado slammed into him, for a second Briney thought he _was_ dead. The impact, so strong it shredded through his defenses like tissue paper and struck him so hard his body vibrated louder than a Bronzong, was without a doubt one of the most painful things he'd ever felt, and certainly one of the most powerful. Not even the frost giants he had battled yesterday had been able to hit _this_hard. For a split-second, he blacked out…and unfortunately, it was for _only_ a split-second, which was a shame because that meant he was fully conscious when Lugia smashed him through what had to be fifty battleships (closer to thirty-five, actually, but Briney can be forgiven for not being in the necessary state of mind to precisely count each and every one he was plowed through) and released the Shadow Aura and everything wrapped around it making up the cyclone that it vaporized everything within fifty kilometers and sent him flying so hard he smashed into a fifty-first (thirty-sixth) ship with enough force that it exploded.

"H….ha…hahaha…is…izzat…izzat all you got, you over…overgrown Pidove?" Briney slurred dazedly as he managed, with some effort, to wrench himself from the burning wreckage of the vessel that had so generously (albeit excruciatingly painfully) put an end to his wild flight. "Come…come on…hit me with another one! Doesn't…m-matter how many reinforcements you bring," he challenged as his vision swam before him, causing what was one Lugia to look like seven. "I can…I can take you all on!"

He raised a fist to shake it threateningly at Lugia, and was puzzled when nothing happened. Something felt…off. Like he had too much weight on one side, and his mind was fuzzy, fuzzier than one would expect just from getting smashed through several massive battleships and then getting blown up. He glanced at his side and soon discovered the reason for this. "Ah," he said vaguely, staring at the jagged metal stump that was all that remained of his left arm. "That…that could be a problem." He hoped there hadn't been any important memories in the brain he kept in that arm. Then again, if there were any, he wouldn't remember losing them. Or something like that. "Well…this is a bit of a setback, I'll admit, but I still have one arm left!" Briney declared, shaking his remaining fist at Lugia. "And so long as I have even one hand—Abyss, even with _no_ hands—I'm still mon enough to wipe the floor with you!"

The narrowed eyes in Lugia's face indicated the dark god didn't agree with this assertion. He chose to act on this belief, red eyes glowing and causing a similar glow to form around Briney. Briney ground his metal fangs in pain as Lugia pressed on both his body and mind with Psychic, attempting to crush both of them with his psychokinetic power. His body shook, and pain flashed through every scrap of iron on him…but he clenched his teeth so hard they started to bend, and his eye began glowing too as he fought back with a Psychic of his own. "Ungh…I'll…I'll give credit where it's due…you've got quite the strong mind on you, birdy…but you're wasting it serving the Nihilators. I can…feel your power. Your intellect. Such…a vast and deep mind that has seen so many wonders…as bountiful and bottomless as…the ocean itself. And…you can't use it. All that wonderful knowledge and power, and you can't use a single bit of it that's useful. Just…the bad parts. The hatred, the rage, the darkness…making you into nothing but a monster. That's what the Nihilators did to you. But you don't…even care, do you? Not…not that you're capable of caring at the moment…heh. Don't worry, Ash'll clear that up soon enough…as soon as…argh…he gets here…"

He clenched his fist as he called forth more of his willpower, gradually fighting back against Lugia's Psychic pressure. The dark god blinked in surprise as it felt its mental grip on the Metang weaken. How could this mortal have such a strong mind? How could he be able to repel him? This should not be possible… "Ha! Bet you're wondering…how I'm able to keep resisting you, aren't you? Well, like I said, you've got power, tons of it…but without the better parts of you, you're nothing but another monster. All bluster and hatred and gnashing of teeth, which is plenty bad, I'll grant you, but…but not…not _nearly_ as terrifying as a mon with a strong will, and enough guts and determination to use it properly. You're far more powerful than me, sure…but you're just a beast. You barely have any idea what you're doing. You don't…even have a reason to fight. You have no idea what you're doing here, you aren't even able to wonder! Which…probably makes this whole speech I'm giving pretty irrelevant since I'm the only one of us who can understand it, but the fact that I _can_ make it at all is proof of what I'm trying to say. I am a mon with will, and the know-how to use it. I know who I am, and what I'm fighting for. And that…that sort of thing…is a source of strength all its own. A strength you can't understand…though you might have, once, and might again soon enough.

"But until then, all you've got is brute strength…which isn't half-bad, I'm a fan of brute strength myself, but the problem with that kind of force is it's easy to break with enough finesse and determination, which I'm chock-full of. Even with just one brain in my body, my will is as strong as the Steel I'm made of, and it would take a Psychic as strong as Oblivion's Shadow to break it…and you, my poor friend, are not Oblivion's Shadow!" He grinned. "While I, on the other hand…am Captain! Thaddeus! Irving! BRINE-"

Briney was cut off in mid-declaration when Lugia telekinetically rammed a battleship into him from behind. The dark god had gotten fed up with Briney's resistance and yapping and used his Psychic powers to snatch one of the vessels while Briney was distracted lecturing him and used it to shut the Metang up. Lugia eagerly lunged forwards, snatching the stunned Captain in his mouth and flying out of the way of the ship as it went careening on its heading, uncaring where it wound up. Rising into the air, he clamped his beak down on Briney, trying to crush the Metang between his jaws, his Shadow-infused fangs digging into Briney's metal skin and leaving deep divots, divots which grew deeper as Lugia exerted more force on his prey. Briney gasped in pain and alarm and struggled to free himself, managing to get his remaining arm out from where it was trapped underneath him and pushing upwards at the roof of Lugia's mouth with all his might…but weakened as he was, and lacking a second limb to give himself some leverage, he wasn't able to do very much. Gritting his teeth, he squeezed his eye shut, mustering what power he had left, and Exploded.

The blast of light and heat and sound was tremendous…and had absolutely no effect. Lugia just grunted, shook his head—rattling Briney about in the process—then went back to squeezing him between his teeth. If he weren't being so tightly compressed between the evil god's jaws, Briney's mouth would have hung open. _That__'__s__…__that__'__s__not__supposed__to__happen!__When__you__blow__up__inside__of__something__'__s__mouth,__either__its__head__explodes__or__it__at__least__spits__you__out!__That__'__s__how__this__sort__of__thing_works!_He__'__s_cheating! Gasping as he felt part of his head beginning to press inwards due to the pressure, he frantically tried again, Exploding repeatedly, but to no avail. All it got him was a slight hiss of pain from his captor and a very brief respite before even more intense crushing pressure was inflicted on him, and a growing feeling of weakness and helplessness, something the old sailor was very unfamiliar with and extremely uncomfortable about. _N__…__no__…_ he thought frantically, his eye flickering as his attempts to break free using Psychic only causing a throbbing migraine to pulse through his metal cranium, made worse by the fangs inexorably piercing said cranium. _I__…__I__knew__I__was__going__to__die__in__battle,__but__not__…__not__like__this__…__not__like__this__…__!_

Everything was starting to get hazy. He found it growing harder and harder to breathe. Not that he actually needed to breathe, per se, but he was used to it, and he took his inability to as a sign that he was near his end. Why, the savage teeth chewing on him didn't even hurt quite so much anymore, surely indicating that he didn't have much longer to live…although if he was going to die, he'd rather he got around to doing it already, this was taking far longer than he had expected it to.

Thankfully, he didn't have to wait much longer, as Lugia's jaws fell away from him and he rose into the air, his spirit being buoyed into the Celestial Heavens above and the waiting wings of his beloved. Why, he could see her already, beckoning to him, mouthing something with her majestic beak, no doubt 'I love you' or 'I've been waiting for you' or something like that. A content smile on his face, his eye gradually began to close…

And then he got hit in the face with a sheet of freezing rain and hailstones, snapping him back into wakefulness. That was funny. He had figured the Celestial Heavens would have better weather. And Peeko seemed to have put on a lot of weight, she looked uncomfortably a lot like Silvia Goldorrington…

Wait a minute, it _was_ Silvia Goldorrington! But how could that possibly…oh no. Had she died too, and for some reason they'd wound up in the same afterlife as each other? Dammit all, was this some prank of Darkrai's? He'd thought that he'd settled his score with him by sparing Archie's miserable life, Darkrai had even implied as much! If Darkrai was welshing on their deal, Briney was going to have some strong words with him, and a few good right hooks! Nobody, not even the god of death, pulled one over on Captain Briney! "DARKRAI!" Briney bellowed. "Get on down here! You promised I'd wind up with Peeko! We had a deal! I know I've done my fair share of dirty deeds in my day, but I'm pretty sure I haven't done anything bad enough to warrant getting stuck with _this_ stuck-up elitist upper-class gold-digging society-climbing overbearing fangirlish whiny silver-tongued she-devil!"

"…_WELL!_" Silvia huffed, bristling angrily. "If you're going to be like that, then maybe I should have just left you in that monster's mouth!"

Briney blinked. "Huh?"

"Captain! Are you okay?" Buck asked in concern, popping up in Briney's field of sight.

"He lost an arm, he's covered in rather serious-looking dents and scratches, most of his body's been burnt and corroded, and his mustache has been ruined. Does he _look_ okay to you, boy?" Goldor asked.

"What? Oh no! You guys died too?" Briney asked in alarm. _Great.__The__gang__'__s__all__here__…__and__wait,__what__was__that__about__my__moustache?_

"Huh? What are you talking about? We're not dead," said the confused Buck.

"Though we almost were, considering that stunt you pulled back there! Really now, was it necessary for you to Explode on us like that?" Goldor complained.

Briney blinked. "You're not dead? But that means…I'm not dead…which probably explains why I feel so lousy…er…I, ah, owe you an apology then, Silvia."

"Yes, you certainly do," she said coldly, crossing her arms and glaring at him with her many eyes.

"Right. Sorry about that. Was, uh, a little delirious back there. Due to all the head trauma I've suffered. And losing one of my brains," Briney said quickly.

"I'm sure," Silvia said flatly. Without warning, she negated the Psychic she'd used to pluck Briney from Lugia's jaws, and the Metang had a rather dizzying moment of disorientation before he managed to continue levitating under his own power.

"Thanks for pulling me out of there," he said, hoping to stave off any other fits of anger from the Claydol. "But how'd you manage it? He had me in a pretty strong vice grip!"

"I don't think Lugia can learn ViceGrip," Buck said.

"Really? Could've fooled me," Briney said.

"It was simplicity itself, zanks to moi," a familiar voice whispered on the breeze.

"Ah, Bow, you're all right!" Briney said in relief as the Drifblim appeared before them in a gust of wind and a purple twister. "I would've hated having to explain to your mother that you got shredded on my watch."

"Yes…she would have killed you! Then resurrected you and killed you again! Then put your soul in an inanimate object and left it in some dark corner to gather dust for the next few centuries! And it'd be an ugly and unfashionable object, too! Oh, the _horror!_" Silvia moaned melodramatically.

Goldor sweatdropped. "Didn't we go over this already?"

"We did, and like I said, Mama would 'ave been upset but certainly wouldn't 'ave done somezing as rash as zat. Well…I don't zink she would, anyway…" Bow murmured. "Anyway, it was easy to make Monsieur Lugia loosen 'is lips wiz ze use of my wind magic! Voila!" she said, gesturing proudly at Lugia, who was flopping desperately about in the air, looking like he was choking.

Briney frowned. "What did you do to him?"

"Do you notice 'ow no rain or snow or embers are falling around 'is 'ead? I used my power over wind to pull all ze air away from 'is 'ead, creating a vacuum. I also wizdrew ze air already in 'is lungs, to keep 'im from using any 'e 'ad stored to just 'old 'is breazh for a really long time," Bow explained. "As a result, 'e is unable to breazhe, and will soon suffocate and pass out, making it easier for Ash to purify him."

"Huh! Pretty clever!" Briney said, impressed.

"Though I don't quite get how it works at all…I mean, Lugia lives underwater, doesn't he? So how would cutting off air do anything to him?" Buck asked.

"Zere's oxygen in water, too, it just gets filtered a different way. Lugia may be a god, but as an organic creature even 'e needs to breazhe one way or anozzer," Bow explained. "And since I can control ze air, zat gives 'im a weakness zat I can exploit."

"Oh," said Buck.

"So…why hasn't he passed out yet?" Briney asked.

"Well…'e _is_ a deity. 'e can probably last longer wizzout air zan most Pokémon can," Bow said.

Briney nodded. "Makes sense. So how long before he conks out?"

"…I 'ave no idea," Bow admitted.

"Lovely," Briney said dryly. "On a more important note…you mentioned something about my moustache. What's happened to it?"

Everyone fidgeted and looked away. "Um…ah, well…" Goldor hemmed and hawed.

"Nothing! Nothing at all. It's perfectly all right, nothing for you to concern yourself with," Silvia said rather shrilly.

Briney narrowed his eye. "Mirror. Now."

"I-I really don't zink now is ze time-" Bow started nervously.

"Mirror. NOW," Briney repeated.

He got his mirror, magically (literally) appearing before him. He stared at the scarred and grisly visage looking back at him. He looked about as awful as he felt. His left shoulder ended in a jagged metal stump, his body was covered in very large and deep scars and nicks and dents and gashes and gouges, several perforations and indentations were visible in his head and lower body—some so deep it looked as if his skull might cave in if too much pressure were exerted on them-his hat was missing, his eyepatch had almost been torn off, the tip of his nose had cracked off, his normally shiny blue skin was almost pitch-black and scorched and snapped, but most importantly, _his moustache was ruined._ He stared in absolute horror at the blackened and warped abomination sitting on his face, its sleek curves and straight edges cracked and chipped and jagged, its lines bending and folding back on themselves and making it look more like a piece of corrugated scrap than a carefully trimmed and cared-for piece of facial metal. Briney touched his moustache in disbelief, and stared at his reflection as the whole thing fell apart, crumbling into bits of metal and slag that fell down to earth, leaving him truly clean-shaven for the first time in decades. A tear rolled down his cheek. Similarly moved, Goldor and Silvia burst into tears, Bow sniffed and turned away, unable to look at Briney, and Buck shook his head in silent sorrow. "Well," Briney said after a moment, his whole body trembling as he struggled to control his rage so he wouldn't do something stupid like lashing out at his friends. "You realize, of course, he has to die, mind control or no mind control."

"He deserves nothing less, for committing such a grievous crime against fabulosity," Goldor said solemnly, mourning the loss of Briney's mustache while silently cheering, because now his was the most stylish again.

"If you're going to beat Lugia up, Cap'n, you're going to need this," Buck said, floating Briney's missing appendage over to him.

"Ah, there it is! Where'd you find it?" Briney asked in relief as he grabbed the severed arm, which was still twitching a little.

"It flew out of nowhere and crashed into us on our way over here," Buck explained.

"The damn thing almost took my head off," Goldor grumbled.

"Yep, that sounds like something my arm would do, even if I wasn't attached to it," Briney said with a chuckle as he shoved the arm into his shoulder stump, eye glowing as he used Psychic to weld the metal together and bond the appendage to the rest of his body. He sighed in relief as the connection to his second brain was restored, boosting his power and IQ back to levels he was more comfortable with as well as restoring memories he'd lost that he hadn't even noticed were gone. He grimaced as he looked back and realized how silly some of the things he'd said without his second brain had been. Seriously, what the Abyss was up with that lecture he'd been trying to give Lugia? And had he actually thought he was dead and Silvia was in the same afterlife as him? Oh dear. He hoped none of his teammates heard about this, or he'd never live it down.

He looked himself over again. While he was still in fairly bad shape from the damage Lugia had inflicted on him, and his head still hurt like the dickens, he had his arm and brain back, which was a step towards recovery. It wasn't a perfect fix, but it would last until he could get to a Pokémon Center and get it healed properly. Or borrow some of Leo's metal-working tools. The lad had a disturbingly large array of gear in that shell of his…how did he make it all fit? "I don't suppose you found my hat while you were at it?"

"It flew out of nowhere and crashed into us too," Silvia said, levitating Briney's captain's hat over to him.

"The damn thing almost put an eye out," Goldor grumbled.

"How?" Briney asked as he brushed his hat off and shook it out.

"Well…er…it covered my face," Goldor admitted reluctantly. "I thought I had gone partially blind for a moment or something."

"Only partially?" Briney asked.

"Well, I _do_ have eyes in the back of my head," Goldor pointed out, swiveling around to show the backside of his overlarge cranium to Briney. Sure enough, there were several big pink eyes in a row, just like the ones on the front and sides of his head.

"Those must come in handy in a tough scrape," Briney said, somewhat envious.

"Oh yes, you have no idea how many would-be assassins I've been able to catch with them," Goldor said, turning around to face Briney again. "Distasteful Pokémon hoping to collect a bounty on my head from those jealous of my wealth…or who may have gotten, er, a bit worse off from some of my…business dealings…"

"And jilted ex-lovers?" Briney joked.

"Oh no, Goldor would never cheat on me," Silvia said.

"I can't, she cast a curse on my nether regions that will make them explode if I attempt to have intercourse with anyone but her," Goldor said sullenly.

"Ouch," Briney said, reflexively covering his privates. (Where were they? Your guess is as good as mine.) "Well, that's one way to ensure fidelity."

"Quite," Goldor said miserably.

"Indeed," Silvia said.

"What's fidelity?" Buck asked.

"Somezing I don't worry about zat you'll understand when you're older," Bow said.

"Oh," Buck said with a scowl. He hated it when people kept telling him he'd 'understand when he was older.' Why couldn't he be older _now?_ (He'd tried using an age-up spell, only to get scoldly reprimanded by his parents and denied dessert privileges for a week.)

"Speaking of things we should or shouldn't be worrying about, we should probably do something about Lugia, shouldn't we?" Silvia asked.

"Right!" Briney said, cracking his knuckles. "We have to make that bastard pay for what he did to my mustache!"

They nodded and turned to face the dark god…

And that's when the battleship Lugia had been Psychically maneuvering while they were all busy talking about Briney's mustache and Goldor's eyes and marital status dropped out of the sky onto their heads, which were sadly lacking in extra eyes that could have let them know the thing was up there. Fortunately they had psychic and magical senses that amounted to about the same thing, not that it was entirely needed when they could hear—and see—the massive flying fortress hurtling towards them at rather alarming speeds. Not having time to get out of the way, they leapt into action, using telekinesis and air cushions to grab the vessel and try to arrest its descent. On their own this might have been difficult if not impossible, but with all five of them working together and joining their powers, such a task was manageable, albeit a little tricky.

Lugia was fully aware of this, however, which was why he'd telekinetically grabbed four extra battleships of varying sizes and flung them at the heroes from several different angles. They were quickly forced to split their attention between the multiple projectiles, making it harder to catch each one since they had to divide their power to slow each incoming vessel down, causing each new ship to get closer to them before stopping, and for each of the previous ships they'd caught to start pushing forward now that there was less force holding them back. As they struggled to keep the battleships away, Bow's concentration on the vacuum surrounding Lugia's head faded, allowing the dark god to inhale and fill his depleted lungs with much-needed air once more. A sinister grin on his face, his eyes glowed as he used his powers to snatch more ships from the air and fling them at the heroes, not giving them even a moment to catch their breaths as well as granting him the time he needed to replenish his power.

"Okay, this is…ugh…getting ridiculous!" Briney snarled as his mind reached out to intercept the next incoming ship, pouring as much will as he could into slowing it down. Then he found himself having to dial back a bit on that will because pouring as much will as he could into slowing that one ship down meant there was less holding the others back, and they edged ominously closer until he managed to regain his telekinetic grip on them. He wasn't sure how much more of this he could take, as drained and worn-out as he was already. His head had been hurting before from the abuse Lugia had inflicted on him, but now it felt like his cranium was going to crack in two. "Can't we…throw any of them back at him? Give him a taste of his own medicine?"

"It's taking everything we have…just to hold these back!" Goldor gasped, oily sweat running down his body.

"If we all pooled our powers together, we might be able to shove _one_ ship back at him…but he'd probably just dodge it, or fling it back at us! Oh, this isn't good at all!" Silvia moaned.

"I could conjure a windstorm strong enough to send zese all flying back at 'im," Bow commented. "But zat would require all my concentration…I could not generate such a storm while I'm 'elping you all to 'old back zese ships. But if I were to wizdraw my power from zese vessels…"

"Then they'd come crashing down on us! We can't hold them back without you!" Buck cried in alarm.

"Exactly. And so…it would seem we are at a bit of an impasse…" Bow grunted.

"Well, not for long," Briney said, wincing as he caught the next inbound ship. He had to really focus to stop it, the massive vessel pressing at his psychic catcher's mitt so strongly it almost snapped through. "If he keeps this up, I don't think we'll be able to hold out for much longer. Do we have an exit strategy?"

"Well, I can always turn into wind and breeze out of 'ere," Bow said.

"And the three of us can Teleport," Goldor said.

"Which leaves me with…crap. Nothing. I, ah, don't suppose one of you could give me a lift out of here?" Briney asked.

"Certainly," Silvia said.

"Yeah, we'd never leave you behind, Cap'n!" Buck said.

"You wouldn't 'ave much time to do it, zough," Bow said. "It would be easy enough for ze four of us to escape, but we would need to stop concentrating on 'olding back ze ships to do so, which would mean zat if we were to save you as well, zere would only be a split second for one of ze Goldorringtons to grab you and Teleport you to safety before all ze ships came crashing down on you."

"A split second? Is that all?" Briney scoffed with more bravado than he actually felt. "That's more than enough time."

"I'm not sure it is, actually," Silvia said uneasily. "For us, anyway. We aren't quite as used to such, ah, intensity and danger in such a short period of time."

"Speak for yourself, womon, I've closed business deals in shorter time frames than that!" Goldor boasted. "Captain, if you position yourself closer to me, I can assure you that I'll grab you and get you to safety when the inevitable breaking point comes!"

"Which means you should probably do it in the next few seconds…" Buck gasped, strain clear on his face. "I…I don't…I don't think I can do this anymore…s-sorry…"

"It's all right, my boy, you lasted longer than I expected, to be honest!" Goldor said.

"…Thanks?" Buck said dubiously.

"I zink we should move 'next few seconds' to 'now,'" Bow said faintly as, off in the distance, Lugia levitated an especially massive ship over his head and swiveled it to point directly at them. "As in, 'right now,' as in, 'zis very instant!'"

"All right, the instant he throws that thing, we skedaddle," Briney said decisively. "Goldor, I'm not as close to you as I'd like, so you're going to have to clamp down on your 'flight' reflex for just a few extra milliseconds so I can have time to get within range of your Teleport."

"…A-all right," Goldor said nervously, his mustache twitching anxiously. "But any longer than that, and I can't guarantee your safety. I have no intention of getting crushed beneath a few dozen burning shipwrecks!"

"Neither did I, although to be fair, I always thought that something like this would be a fittingly monly way for a sailor like me to go," Briney said. His eye narrowed as Lugia drew an arm back, the ship over his head backing up several meters as well. "Just a few more seconds…wait for it…wait for it…wait…for…iiiiiit…." Lugia's arm snapped forwards, and the ship launched itself at them like a javelin. "NOW!" Briney shouted, letting go, with some relief, of the myriad battleships surrounding him and flinging himself in Goldor's general direction at the same second Buck and Silvia vanished in flashes of light and Bow disappeared in a purple whirlwind. As the ships came screaming towards them, Briney crashed into Goldor, denting both of them and causing their metallic bodies to ring from the impact.

"Oooohhhh…" the Claydol moaned, dazed.

"Now's not the time for that, mon!" Briney shouted. "Get us out of here!"

"Ack! You don't need to tell me twice!" Goldor squealed as he noticed how very close the ships were and how very fast they were bearing down on them. His body began to glow a bright white, and Briney wrapped his arms around the businessmon, just to be safe. There was a blinding flash of light, a brief sense of disorientation…

And then an awe-inspiring explosion the likes of which a disaster movie's director only _wished_ they had the special effects budget to pull off. Thankfully, Briney and Goldor had rematerialized very, _very_ far away from the blast so only had to worry about the wave of heat washing over them and the eardrum-shattering noise rather than total annihilation. "GOOD THING WE WEREN'T AT GROUND ZERO FOR THAT, EH?" Briney shouted to Goldor.

"WHAT?" Goldor shouted back.

"I SAID, GOOD THING WE WEREN'T AT GROUND ZERO FOR THAT, EH?" Briney repeated.

"WHAT?" Goldor shouted back.

"I _SAID_…HANG ON A MINUTE, THIS SOUNDS LIKE THE SORT OF THING LEO WOULD PULL, AND I REFUSE TO STOOP TO HIS LEVEL!" Briney said.

"WHAT?" Goldor shouted back. "I CAN'T HEAR YOU BECAUSE THAT EXPLOSION SEEMS TO HAVE TEMPORARILY DEAFENED ME! GOOD THING WE WEREN'T AT GROUND ZERO, EH?"

"WHAT?" Briney shouted back. Not for the first time, he wished that everyone would just lower their mental shields so he could talk to them telepathically. It would be so much easier. And quieter.

"I SAID-" Goldor started.

"NEVER MIND, I DON'T CARE," Briney said, shaking his head in exasperation.

"THAT WAS SO COOL!" Buck, who was floating next to them, shouted. "EXCEPT FOR HOW WE ALMOST DIED!"

"THAT WAS AWFUL!" Silvia, who was floating next to them as well, shouted. "WE ALMOST DIED! AND BUCK, DARLING, IT'S NOT POLITE TO SHOUT!"

"WHAT?" Buck shouted.

"I SAID, IT'S NOT POLITE TO SHOUT!" Silvia shouted.

"WHAT?" Buck shouted.

"WHAT?" Goldor shouted.

"I _SAID-_" Silvia started.

"**WILL EVERYONE SHUT UP! I'M HAVING A MIGRAINE HERE**!" Briney yelled loud enough to be heard over the ringing in everyone's ears. The Goldorringtons gulped and quickly shut up. The Metang grimaced as he rubbed his head, which was hurting even more due to the explosion as well as all the yelling. His Psychic senses felt all fuzzy, worn out due to the effort he'd exerted to hold those ships back and from the overwhelming power of the explosion. Why, he could barely even detect his companions in his current state, let alone anything…

…

Hold on a second…

His eye widened in horror. Slowly, he turned around. His pupil shrank. He reached out and desperately shook Goldor's arm. "WHAT? WHAT IS IT?" Goldor asked loudly. Briney pointed at what was behind him. Puzzled, Goldor turned around to see whatever it was that had startled the Captain. He stared. His pupils shrank. "…I HAVE EYES IN THE BACK OF MY HEAD. LITERALLY. _HOW DID I NOT SEE THAT_?"

'That' was Lugia, hovering right behind them, a smug look on his face and a nearly fully-charged Shadow Blast in his mouth. How very clever, Briney thought to himself faintly as the dark god prepared to unleash his attack. Using his Psychic senses to detect where they would reappear at the other end of their Teleport, and relying on the sonic and mind-scrambling properties of the explosion to allow him to sneak up on them and prepare his ultimate attack without them noticing. _For a creature that's supposed to be a mindless engine of destruction, he's certainly more cunning than I would have thought,_ Briney thought. _Then again, I suppose a predator can be smart without being sapient…and this one's certainly smarter than I ever anticipated, to get one up over on me._

He stared blankly at the ball of pure darkness swirling in Lugia's jaws, going numb all over. This was it. He had nothing left. His defenses couldn't protect him. His attacks were useless. And if his comrades were just as drained and exhausted from everything they'd been through already as he was, there was no escape. It really looked as if it was the end of the line… _Well, I suppose this is a better way to go than being gnawed to death. Marginally. And it won't hurt as much. At least not for long. _He glanced at the panic-striken Goldor next to him, as well as Silvia and Buck, who were still completely oblivious to the giant monster behind them. _I'm just sorry these three got dragged into it as well…they can be annoying at times, but they've grown on me, just like…my teammates. My…friends._ He shook his head sadly. _I'm sorry I couldn't finish our journey together. You'll have to defeat the Nihilators without me. But I'm not worried, and neither should you. You can do it. You can save the world. I know you can, even without good ol' Captain Briney there to do all the heavy lifting._ He closed his eye just as the Shadow Blast reached critical mass. _So this is it…goodbye, world. Peeko, mustache…I'll be seeing you soon._

_Actually, you might want to put a rain check on that,_ a familiar deep, dark voice whispered in his mind.

Briney's eye shot open in surprise. _Darkrai?_

_It's not time for you to die yet, Captain. What it _is_ time for, though, is for the train to get here,_ Darkrai said.

_Huh? What train? _Briney asked in confusion.

Suddenly, a train whistle sounded, so shrill and piercing Briney was able to hear it even despite the ringing in his ears. A very _familiar _train whistle. Lugia paused, blinking in puzzlement, wondering where the sound had come from…

And that's when the engine car of the Enchanted Express plowed into Lugia's side, causing his Shadow Blast to fire wildly off target and shoot up into the stratosphere, causing harm to no one. (It destroyed a few satellites and gave a couple of Solrock drifting about quite a fright, but other than that no harm was done.) As Lugia tumbled through the air in a daze and the train drove past on its glowing tracks, Briney grinned in elation. _Oh. _That _train!_

"IT'S THE ENCHANTED EXPRESS! WE'RE SAVED!" Goldor cheered.

"WHAT? DID YOU SAY SOMETHING, DEAR?" Silvia asked, turning around and gasping when she saw Lugia hurtling downwards while the Enchanted Express turned about to come back towards them. "OH MY! I HAVE LITERAL EYES IN THE BACK OF MY HEAD, HOW DID I MISS THAT?"

"OH WOW! IT'S THE ENCHANTED EXPRESS! WE'RE SAVED!" Buck cheered.

"WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU, BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER, BECAUSE THE ENCHANTED EXPRESS IS HERE, SO WE'RE SAVED!" Goldor exulted.

"WHAT?" Buck asked loudly. Briney facepalmed.

As the train shot past them, tooting joyfully, the back door of the luggage car trailing behind it slid open and Ash, Ritchie, Todd, Tiny, Cruise, Fantina, Cherry, Rebecca, Rebecca's Gastly, Palmer, and the Happy husk they were still carting around all jumped out and started falling towards Lugia, who was struggling to recover from the collision with the Enchanted Express. "OH! IT'S FANTINA!" Silvia squealed joyfully. "…I HOPE SHE DOESN'T NOTICE HER DAUGHTER IS CONSPICUOUSLY ABSENT…WHERE IS SHE, ANYWAY?"

"WHO ARE THE DUSKULL AND THE GASTLY?" Buck wondered.

"I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU JUST SAID, BUT I WONDER WHO THE DUSKULL AND THE GASTLY ARE?" Goldor wondered.

"ASH! ABOUT DAMN TIME YOU SHOWED UP!" Briney hollered to the Lucario. "WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG? IF YOU'D GOTTEN HERE SOONER, I MIGHT STILL HAVE MY MUSTACHE!"

"Briney! Sorry about the delay, we got here as fast as we could!" Ash shouted back. "Don't worry, we'll take care of things from here!"

"And make him pay for destroying your mustache!" Tiny added.

"YOU DO THAT!" Briney yelled, having no idea what they had just said.

There was a gust of wind, and suddenly Bow was there. "Mama!" the Drifblim cried joyfully. "You are all right! Well, technically you're already all right since your ozzer 'alf is somewhere around 'ere, but it's good to see ze rest of you is okay!"

"And you as well, _mes petit cherie!_ I'm afraid I don't 'ave time to talk, I 'ave a dark god to fight! You know 'ow it is, always one zing after anozzer, oui?" Fantina replied.

Bow giggled. "Oui, oui!"

Without warning, she was tackled by a sobbing Silvia. "OH, THANK GOODNESS YOU'RE ALL RIGHT!" the Claydol shouted. "If anything had happened to you, your mother would have killed me! Then resurrected me and killed me again! Then put my soul in an inanimate object and left it in some dark corner to gather dust for the next few centuries! And it'd be an ugly and unfashionable object, too! Oh, the _horror!_"

Bow sweatdropped. "You're still 'ung up on zat?"

"WHAT? DID YOU SAY SOMETHING?" Silvia asked loudly.

Bow sighed. "Oh dear. Your 'earing 'as been damaged, 'asn't it? 'Old on." She gestured, and a calm breeze blew over them. There was an itching in their auditory organs, and then they found themselves able to hear again.

"Ahhhh, that's much better," said a relieved Goldor, his voice hoarse.

"Yes, now we don't have to raise our voices so much to be heard," Silvia rasped.

"Awww, I like raising my voice," Buck complained.

"Yes, but we don't, dear," Silvia said, causing the Baltoy to pout.

"Bow, where were you? Silvia was getting worried, as you can see," Briney said, pointing to Silvia, who was still clinging to the Drifblim.

Bow gently pried Silvia off of her. "Ze explosion was stronger zan I zought. It scattered ze wind I was riding, so it took me a little while to pull myself back togezzer."

"Your consciousness can be dispersed when you turn into wind? Couldn't that kill you?" Goldor asked in concern, Silvia gasping in horror.

"I wouldn't call it 'deazh' exactly…my pieces would exist so long as ze wind does," Bow said. "But it could take a while for zem to find each ozzer again, if zey get separated too far. It's a big world, and a little wind can go a long way."

"As can a sea current," Briney said sagely. "And speaking of currents, should we join the others in fighting Lugia?"

"What, are you kidding? After everything we've just gone through?" Goldor asked incredulously. "You want to charge back in there and keep fighting?"

"My moustache must be avenged," Briney said seriously.

"That may be the case, but we were only supposed to fight Lugia until Ash showed up," Silvia pointed out. "Now that he's here, can't we just retreat and let him handle it?"

"What, and leave my friends to fight that monster on their own? That would be a pretty cowardly thing to do," Briney said, glaring angrily at the Claydol, who quivered beneath his steely gaze.

"I-I suppose you have a point…" Silvia whimpered.

Goldor sighed. "Figures. We just never catch a break, do we? Fine, we'll go fight the giant evil fallen god that's nearly killed us several times over. Again."

"That's the spirit!" Briney said cheerfully. "Come on, lads!"

"Oui! Once more, into ze breach!" Bow said with equal cheer. Not looking nearly as enthused, the Goldorringtons reluctantly followed as they flew after their friends.

"Think we should go back and help them?" the Magneton engineer asked his superior as the Enchanted Express circled the battle.

"No, Cherry's instructions were pretty clear. If we got involved, we'd only make things more complicated," the Ampharos chief engineer said. "This'll be Ash's show in a few minutes, and there's not much we can do to help him…not much, that is, aside from making sure none of these ships floating all over the place take potshots at him while he's a sitting Psyduck purifying Lugia. Come on, boys, let's sink some battleships!"

"Yes, ma'am!" her subordinates chorused.

Lugia felt as if he had been hit by a train. Which, he supposed, he had been. It had not been a pleasant experience. Even so, something like that wasn't going to keep him stunned for long, and he had already recovered from the crash. He spread his wings, slowing and stabilizing his descent. He turned, preparing to attack the Pokémon he sensed were falling towards him…

And started when his mind brushed against one of the Lucarios. Something about him was…familiar. Just looking at him and touching the surface of his mind caused something to stir behind the door that had been closed in his heart. Lugia blinked in confusion, trying to shake himself out of his reverie…

And so was too distracted to defend himself when his new adversaries attacked. Palmer was the first to strike, his form blurring and splitting into seven glowing Dragonites. "Dragon's Claw Special Technique…Seventh Slash!" all seven dragons shouted at once before flying into and through Lugia, causing 777 scratches to appear on the dark god's Shadow armor, causing him to hiss in pain as his Aura fluctuated.

Before he recovered, Rebecca floated down, tentacles spread around her. "Spirits of air, of water, of fire, of thunder, come forth! I call upon thee to strike down this fell demon!" she declared, eyes glowing. The air around her swirled and serpentine forms composed of wind, water, flames, and electricity materialized, shrieking as they writhed through the air and smashed into Lugia, enveloping him in their elements and causing him to grit his teeth as their power washed over him. Cracks began to form in his armor.

"I'm afraid I don't have anything quite as impressive," Cherry said as Rebecca glided out of the way and she took her place. "But I think you'll find it just as effective." Abruptly, a humongous Future Sight energy ball appeared beneath Lugia and shot upwards, smashing into his back and exploding with a tremendous blast that weakened his armor further and flung him high into the air, where Fantina was waiting for him.

"You caused my daughter and 'er friends some serious trouble," the Mismagius master enchantress said angrily, eyes glowing as tendrils of her hair extended out from under her hat. "I know you are not in your right mind, 'owever, so are not completely to blame…which is why I'll go easy on you razzer zan ripping you to shreds!" The tendrils lanced forwards and buried themselves in the cracks and fractures that were zigzagging across Lugia's armor, penetrating and making contact with the skin beneath. Her eyes flashed, and suddenly waves of raw arcane power surged down her hair and into Lugia, causing the dark god to howl in pain as the mystic fury of the most powerful sorceress in the world burned through his corrupted body. The points where Fantina's hairs had pierced his armor shattered in a series of small but powerful explosions, flinging Lugia back as well as leaving several holes in his armor.

Cherry's Gastly appeared without warning in front of Lugia's face and extended his disturbingly long and prehensile tongue, Licking the dark god and causing him to shudder as he got Paralyzed on top of everything else. The Gastly stuck out his tongue in disgust. "Yuck! That didn't taste nearly as good as I thought it would!"

"He's coated in pure evil, what did you expect?" Cherry asked.

"Hmm, good point," the Gastly admitted.

Lugia struggled to snap out of his immobilization, but was unable to do so before Tiny and Cruise rocketed towards him like Aura-powered missiles, blue coronas propelling them into the dark god's chest with enough force to damage his armor even further, as well as sending all three of them shooting downwards as the Pupitars expelled tremendous amounts of Aura and gas from their propulsion vents, determined to weaken Lugia as much as possible so that their fathers could deliver the final blow. The two Lucarios in question shot towards the falling fallen god from above, blazing coronas of blue Aura radiating from them and propelling them downward. "You ready for this, Ash?" Ritchie asked, glancing at his friend.

"I have to be. It's my destiny," Ash said solemnly, tightening his grip on his staff, the crystal at the tip pulsing in response to his emotions.

The armored Lucario grinned. "I'll take that as a 'yes.'" He glanced down at their target, still being pushed downwards by their surrogate sons. "Okay, we do this together!"

"Right!" Ash drew his fist back at the same time as Ritchie. As he did, his eyes locked with Lugia. He froze, feeling…_something_ passing between the two of them. The dark god's eyes widened, something almost like…recognition kindling in their crimson depths. _Does he recognize me? If so, that'll make this easier…_ "Lugia…" Ash snarled. "Don't you worry…I'm going to snap you out of this…and then, together we'll make those bastards pay for what they did to you!"

"Ash, focus, we're almost there!" Ritchie shouted, snapping Ash out of his revie.

"Huh? Oh, right," Ash said, concentrating his power into his fist, causing it to burn a brilliant blue. _Lugia…sorry I have to do this, but it's the only way to save you! _His lips curled back as a fierce battle cry howled from his lungs. Lugia's eyes widened again, this time in alarm, as the Lucarios shot towards him and, in unision, thrusted their burning fists into his face. His head snapped back, a shocked expression on his twisted features…

And then there was a tremendous explosion of blue Aura as his armor shattered and his Shadow Aura violently dissipated, flinging the four Aura-wielding heroes back and sending Lugia downwards, crashing into the deck of a battleship and skidding across its surface until he smashed into the base of the bridge tower, the impact so strong that it caused the vessel to tilt backwards several degrees.

"That was SO COOL!" Todd gushed as he hung back from a distance, having captured every step of the action that just took place on film. He frowned when he took a critical look at the photos he'd just produced. "Hmm, I'm not sure I like the angle, though…hey, do you think you guys can do that again while I reshoot from a different vantage?"

"NO!" everyone shouted at him.

He winced. "All right, all right, I just thought I'd ask…" He snorted and turned to the Happy shell, which had been floating silently next to him the whole time, making sure he didn't do anything stupid. "Sheesh, some Pokémon are just impossible to work with, you know what I mean?" The hollow, lifeless husk stared at him with its blank, empty eyes. Todd perked up. "Exactly! I'm glad _someone_ understands how I feel."

Lugia grunted, trying to pull himself from the indentation he'd made in the hull…and cried out in pain when Tiny and Cruise smashed into his wings, continuing to vent Aura and gas as they pressed against him with all their might, pinning him in place. "Come on, Daddy!" Tiny shouted as Ash and Ritchie landed on the bow of the ship, all the way on the other side of the vessel from them. They would have landed closer, but due to the ship tipping back from Lugia's impact, the bow was the closest spot for them to land on, rather than somewhere around the middle.

"We'll hold him for as long as we can, but he's going to break free sooner or later! Whatever you're going to do, do it fast!" Cruise added.

"Tiny!" Ash cried. "Hang on, we're coming!" He started running down the deck towards Lugia and his son.

Ritchie grinned, shaking his head ruefully as he went after Ash. "Our boys…they're going to make damn fine Aura Guardians when they grow up, aren't they?"

Lugia ground his teeth in frustration, finding it harder to throw the two Pupitars off than he had expected. They were much stronger than they should be…and the power radiating off of them felt…strange…

However, they were not the only ones who wielded power. He was still too weakened from their assault to summon forth a blast of Shadow Aura—how strange, that double punch seemed to have almost completely depleted his reserves, and it was taking longer than usual to build back up—but he could still destroy them with his Psychic powers. His eyes glowed as he reached out with his mind to crush them…

And hesitated as he brushed across their minds. Both of them were linked to the Lucarios by a strange tether of Aura. Through that tether, Lugia could sense the feelings of the Lucarios, which was unusual but nothing to waste too much time thinking about, except…the feelings he got from one of the Lucarios, the one with the staff, the one who felt so familiar to him…gave him pause once more. He could sense the staff-bearer's determination to defeat him, it was something he expected, but…it also felt as if he wanted to…save him? Save him from what? From…himself?

Lugia did not understand, not only from the concept (How could he possibly be a threat to himself? He _was_ himself.), but from the motivation. He was trying to kill this Lucario. Why would the warrior wish to save an enemy? It made no sense. And the more he tried to comprehend it, the more that…thing behind the door in his heart stirred, causing those strange sensations to fill him. Sensations that were pleasurable and calming…and at the same time, utterly horrifying. He was not used to being afraid, and the fact that there might be something for him to fear made him even more afraid, deepening the cycle of confusion and worry and terror until it felt like his head would explode. He snarled angrily, reaching out with Psychic tendrils to crush the Lucario's mind…

Only to flinch back, the sensations increasing. A vision of himself, white and shining, bearing a human child on his back, flashed before his eyes. What…what did it mean? And why did it cause that strange feeling? Why was this Lucario making him feel this way? Grinding his teeth furiously, he opened his mouth and began charging up a Shadow Blast. If he couldn't use his Psychic powers around the warrior without triggering that strange reaction, then he would just destroy him another way…and ensure that he would never haunt him again.

This was not lost on Ash and Ritchie. "Uh-oh, looks like he's preparing that super attack of his!" Ritchie said in alarm.

Ash, who had almost thought he'd felt Lugia's presence or something like it just a second ago, frowned in alarm. Had he caused this somehow? "…He's scared," Ash realized. "He knows who I am. He knows what I can do…or at least, the Shadow in him does."

"Well, that's good, isn't it?" Ritchie said with a grin.

Ash blinked. "What do you mean?"

"If he's afraid of you, then that means you're something worth fearing," Ritchie said.

"…You're right," Ash said, seeing his point. "I _can_ purify him…but we need to get there before he finishes charging that attack!"

"No problem! At the rate he's going, we'll make it there in plenty of time, so long as nothing slows us down," Ritchie said.

As if on cue, several hatches popped up on the surface of the deck and a few dozen Nihilators crawled out to block their path. "That's as far as you go!" a heavily armored Bouffalant bellowed as the startled Lucarios skidded to a halt before them.

"You and your friends have caused enough problems for the Nihilator organization! We're going to put a stop to it, here and now!" a Druddigon hissed.

Ritchie moaned. "Oh, you have _got_ to be kidding me…"

"What, are you serious?" Ash protested incredulously. "If you fight us here, you'll get vaporized when Lugia fires his attack!"

"Yes, which means we get to go straight to the Abyss, where we will be treated like kings and will each receive a harem of forty eternal virgins to call our own," a Drillbur drooled, eyes wide with lust.

Ritchie smacked his forehead. "Of course, more religious crazies, just what we needed right now…well, except that these guys are demon-worshippers who want to get into the Abyss rather than the Celestial Heavens."

Ash frowned, brow furrowed in puzzlement. "…Wait, how is that something to look forward to?"

The Nihilators gave him confused looks. "What are you talking about? We'll have gorgeous womon at our beck and call!" a Throh said angrily.

"Well, yes, but you said _eternal_ virgins. Doesn't that mean you can't actually do…whatever it is you Nihilators usually do with your prisoners, since the second you tried to, they would lose their virginity, therefore, you can't, um, sleep with them, otherwise they wouldn't be eternal virgins anymore?" Ash asked uncertainly.

Ritchie stared at him in awe. "…That's brilliant. I have _got_ to remember to use that on the next bunch of suicidal Judgment wackos I run into."

"What? Don't be preposterous! That's completely ridiculous!" a Whimsicott scoffed. From the uneasy looks on the faces of the other Nihilators, it was clear not all of them were quite as confident.

Ritchie grinned, seeing an opportunity to build off of what Ash had unwittingly started. "And who's to say they'll be beautiful? Or even female? You said they were _virgins_, and I'm pretty sure in this day and age beautiful mons don't stay that way for very long…I mean, come on, isn't that why at least half of you guys joined the Nihilators anyway, because you couldn't get any the normal way?"

"D-don't be stupid! You have no idea what you're talking about!" a pale-faced Linoone, for whom this was indeed the case, stammered anxiously.

"And besides, wouldn't you prefer someone more _experienced_?" Ritchie continued, enjoying the growing looks of worry and dismay on the faces of the Nihilators. "I mean, from what I've heard—and experienced—the first time can be a little awkward and not all that fun for everyone involved, you know what I mean? So having an experience like _that_ for all eternity doesn't really sound like my ideal of paradise."

Murmurs and concerned looks started passing between the evil Pokémon as dissension was sown in the ranks. "What are you doing?" Ash whispered in confusion.

"Trust me, I've got this," Ritchie murmured back. Out loud, he said, "Now, you _have_ to know that if you fight us, there's only two ways this is going to go down. We either kill you, or you waste enough of our time that Lugia fires his bigass beam and kills us all. Either way, you have an afterlife ahead of you that you're no longer guaranteed is going to be as wonderful as you promised. With that in mind, do you _really_ want to risk your lives against us?"

The Nihilators hesitated. They looked at each other uneasily. Then the Linoone said, "Well, no, when you put it like that, not really…"

"Good," Ritchie said smugly.

"Buuuut…on the other hand, I'm pretty sure what Oblivion's Shadow or our commanding officers would do to us if they heard we let you walk away unscathed would be a lot worse than whatever's waiting for us on the other side, so we're probably better off throwing our lives away against you anyway," the Throh said. The others nodded in agreement, perking up at this as their confidence was restored.

Ritchie facepalmed. "Oh, come _on_…"

"We don't have time for this!" Ash hissed frantically.

"You're right, we don't," Ritchie agreed, a serious look on his face. "Okay, here's what we're going to do. I'll distract these guys while you go on ahead and purify Lugia."

"What? And leave you by yourself?" Ash asked in disbelief.

Ritchie raised an eyebrow and tapped his chestplate. "Uh, hello? Fist Plate? Pretty much the strongest martial artist on the planet while wearing it? Do you _really_ think these chumps stand a chance against me so long as I'm wearing this?"

"Good point," Ash agreed. "Okay, so how are we going to do this?"

"I'll boost you up and over, and you make a break for it while I wipe the floor with these guys," Ritchie said.

Ash nodded. "Sounds good to me. Okay, let's do it!"

"Huh? What's he doing?" the Whimsicott wondered in confusion as Ritchie abruptly grabbed Ash and lifted him into the air.

"Oh no, he's going to pull a 'fastball special' and throw him at us or something like that! Brace for impact!" the Drillbur yelled.

The Nihilators put up their guards…and blinked as Ritchie threw Ash not at them but up and over their heads, the other Lucario landing behind them and running towards Lugia. "Hey, he tricked us!" the Throwa cried.

"After him!" the Linoone shouted.

They started forwards, only for Ritchie to leap over them in a single bound and land in front of them, a cocky look on his face. "Oh, I wouldn't bother with him if I were you…because right now, you have more important things to worry about." He grinned, Aura igniting around his fists. "So, who wants to go first?"

As Ash ran towards the deck towards Lugia, he noted that the ball of darkness in the fallen god's jaws was growing steadily bigger, though not as fast as he had expected. That double punch must have really done a number on him…or could something inside of him be holding back for some reason? Ash certainly hoped so, because if that was the case it would be a lot easier to purify him…

He was startled when abruptly several more hatches popped up ahead of him, and he groaned, expecting another bunch of Nihilators to swarm out and slow him down. Instead, he found himself face-to-barrel with several dozen very large, very dangerous-looking cannons which hummed ominously as they targeted him. "Tch…just what I needed…" Ash growled as the turrets powered up. "Well, fine, if you're going to shoot at me, I'm not going to make it easy for you!"

He charged forwards. The cannons opened fire, but as they did so, Ash's form ignited with blue Aura and blurred, splitting into half a dozen Lucarios running side-by-side. Energy bullets shot through the air towards the extra Lucarios, but all of them expertly twirled their staffs before them as they went, either deflecting the blasts or catching them in the jewels on top of their weapons, causing the crystals to glow brighter. The deflected projectiles flew all over the place, some striking the turrets and blowing them up, while others flew harmlessly off into the distance. Unfazed, the remaining turrets—of which there were still a fair number—kept shooting at the Ashes. The Lucarios started zigzagging all over the place to evade the cannon's fire, the energy streams from the turrets crisscrossing and ricocheting as they failed to strike Ash and his clones. One Lucario even managed to run right between two turrets just as they opened fire at the same time, causing them to blow each other to smithereens. Another one bounded into the air and landed atop a turret, thrusting his staff through its top and releasing the pent-up energy stored in it into the emplacement, causing the cannon to explode, flinging him through the air, where he landed on top of another turret and repeated the process, hopping across the deck from one gun to another. A third Ash chose to just keep on running, expertly dancing between energy bullets and swiping at the cannons with Metal Claws and his staff as he went by, each battery he struck detonating moments after he passed. A fourth Ash chose not to bother dodging at all, but with a reckless grin charged straight forwards, using ExtremeSpeed while spinning his staff in front of him to run right into and _through_ any cannons in his path, his speed and the shield provided by his staff allowing him to plow right through the turrets and their artillery without getting hurt. The fifth Lucario dug the tip of his staff into the ground and used his momentum to launch himself into the air, where he started flinging Aura Spheres down on the cannons, raining death from above. The sixth Ash used his speed to dodge bullets as he approached a cannon until he wound up right next to its barrel, out of its range. As the gun swiveled to try and strike him, he grabbed the cannon by its barrel and used his super-strength to rip it out of its mounting, hurling it through the air into a nearby cluster of gun batteries, causing them all to explode spectacularly. The dopplegangers grinned as they left the smoking wreckage of the weapons in their wake, high-fiving and merging back into the original Ash…

Who yelped in alarm as abruptly the floor slid open in front of him and a cannon the size of a large house rose into view, its huge barrel glowing with power as it focused on Ash. "Oh, for the love of-" Ash swore incredulously.

The cannon fired, launching an energy blast the size of one of the Enchanted Express's cars at the Lucario. Rather than doing the sensible thing and running out of the way, Ash instead ground his teeth and ran right _towards_ the giant projectile, howling at the top of his lungs as he gripped his staff in both paws, charging Aura into it and causing the crystal on top to glow a brilliant cobat. He leaped into the air and swung his staff at the energy bullet, striking it with all his might. A shockwave rippled out from the impact, bolts of energy crackling through the air as the Nihilator shell clashed against the power of Ash's Aura…and rebounded, turning blue as Ash's power filled it, shooting right back down the barrel of the giant turret and causing it to explode in a tremendous conflagration. Ash landed with a savage grin before the blaze, panting slightly. He wiped the sweat from his brow…

Then stiffened and rolled out of the way of the Ice Beam that his Aura-senses had told him was coming, the super-cold blast shooting by and leaving a trail of black ice in its wake. "Fuck, I missed!" Articuno snarled angrily as she flapped into view, frost falling from her frozen feathers with each wingbeat.

Ash's eyes flashed, and he snarled as a surge of black fury rose inside him at the recognition of his foe. The memory of the ice bird viciously killing Brock flashed through his mind, unbidden. "Articuno!"

"Oh, so good to see you remember my name!" Articuno sneered. "I wouldn't want you to have forgotten what you did to me…or what _I'm_ going to do to you!"

"It was nothing you didn't deserve…and once I've purified Lugia, he's going to help me finish what I started yesterday!" Ash growled angrily.

"Oh no you don't! If you get to him and open his heart, then it's over for me and the others! I'm going to take you out now, not only to end the threat you present to us once and for all, but also to win major kudos from Oblivion's Shadow and get one up on Zapdos and Moltres!" Articuno said.

Ash narrowed his eyes coldly. "…Heh. Fine. I was going to wait until I saved Lugia to let him get a piece of this, too…but you want to finish this now? That's all right with me."

"Excellent! Now, DIE!" Articuno shrieked as she dove towards Ash, talons extended, ice forming on the ground in her wake…

Only for a portal to open without warning beneath Ash's feet, the Lucario falling through it and leaving Articuno with no target in sight. Realizing she was in for a crash landing, the ice bird squawked and frantically flapped her wings to stop herself, but was too late, and wound up slamming into the deck and rolling across it in an undignified manner, icy feathers flying all over the place. "Ugh…okay, that wasn't supposed to happen…"

Ash fell out of the other end of the portal several meters away, blinking in confusion. "Huh? What just-"

"ASH!"

Ash jumped as he was abruptly tackled by Lily. "Lily!"

"Oh, you're finally here! You have no idea how glad I am to see you…and how worried we were that something terrible had happened!" she sobbed as she rubbed her face in his chest, his fur tickling her skin.

"Lily…hey, it's all right, I'm here now," Ash said, hugging the ecstatic Misdreavus. "I'm sorry you guys had to fight for so long without me. I promise this won't happen again. I'll never leave you guys in the lurch. You know that."

"Yes, I do, it's just…oh, Ash!" Lily sniffed, bursting into a fresh round of tears.

"You keep that up, and my brah Leo might think you have a crush on somebody else," Zippo commented as he came over, Fantina, Butler, and Diane hovering next to him.

"Zippo! Fantina! Butler! Diane!" Ash said, relieved to see more of his friends, even though they weren't actually his teammates. "What are you doing here?"

"What does it look like? 'elping you, of course!" Fantina said, as if it were obvious.

Lily nodded, sniffing as she pulled away and managed to regain some composure. "When we saw the Enchanted Express smash into Lugia, and then you and the others jumped out to fight him, Articuno panicked and ran away from our fight to try and kill you. We couldn't let her do anything to hurt you, so we followed to stop her!"

"And continue our fight. No way is she getting out of our brawl that easily!" Zippo said.

Butler nodded. "Indeed. I'm not through with her yet."

"Are you sure it's not more like she's not through with us?" Diane asked. Butler pretended she hadn't said anything.

Fantina nodded. "We will keep 'er occupied while you go and purify Lugia."

Ash frowned. "What? No! I can't let you do that! I have to stay and fight with you! I'm the only one who can beat her, remember?"

"'Zat so? 'Cause from my perspective, we've been doing a pretty good job of keeping her busy so far," Zippo said smugly.

"…I think that's a bit of an overstatement…" Lily said.

"Saying it's an overstatement is an understatement," Diane said.

"Well, we're all still alive—or undead—and none of us has been frozen to death, so I suppose from that perspective we've been doing a good job of surviving," Butler said. Diane nodded, conceding the point.

"Ash, you may be ze only one who can kill her, but you are also ze only one who can save Lugia," Fantina pointed out. "Do not allow your desire for vengeance to blind you to what needs to be done!"

Ash stiffened, clenched his fists…and sighed, knowing she was right. "Sorry. I allowed my anger to get the better of me again. I have to stop doing that."

"Well, at least this time you realized it rather quickly and didn't abandon us to go fight an enemy by yourself like you did back in Treasure Town," Lily said positively.

"…Actually, isn't that exactly what he's doing now?" Zippo asked. "Since he's leaving us to fight Articuno while he goes after Lugia?"

"…Well. Um. Yes," Lily admitted awkwardly.

"No, it's not. He's going to Lugia to save him, not to fight him. So that makes it different. I think," Diane said.

"It does," Ash said gratefully. "Thank you for helping me realize it. All right, I have to get going. Lily, everyone, take care of yourselves, okay? I promise I'll be back as soon as I can…with some major backup!"

"We know you will. Arceusspeed, Ash!" Fantina called as Ash turned and continued rushing for Lugia, who was still charging his Shadow Blast. He sure was taking his time with that…

"You can do it. We know you can," Lily whispered. "You saved me. You saved Dawn. You saved Tiny. There's nobody you can't save…that's why you're our leader."

"…Hey, I just thought of something," Zippo said abruptly. "Couldn't you have opened a portal and sent him straight to Lugia so he doesn't have to run the rest of the way there?"

"And couldn't you have Teleported him over there, Diane?" Butler asked.

Lily and Diane sweatdropped as Fantina facefaulted. "Um…oops?"

"Nnnghhh…gaahhhh…ugh…why've I been falling on my face so much lately?" Articuno moaned as she staggered to her feet, talons slipping on the icy surface of the deck as she tried to get some purchase. She turned around and groaned in disbelief when she saw who was facing her instead of Ash. "Oh, come on! You guys? Still? Can't you just leave a bird alone? I have more important Pokémon to fight now!"

"Heh, not from where I'm standing, yo!" Zippo chortled, his armor igniting.

"Before, we fought you solely as a delaying tactic. But now…we're fighting you to save Ash. There is no way we'll let you get past us! Not when he's your target!" Lily shouted, flames swirling around her. "We will fight you with all our power to protect him!"

"And you'll 'ave even more power now zat I'm 'ere!" a familiar voice said as none other than…Fantina swooped into view. Wait, what?

"Huh? Whoa, am I seeing double, or are there two totally bodacious golden Mismagius babes before these eyes?" Zippo asked in confusion.

"No hitting on the Duchess," Butler snarled.

"What, she's unattached, isn't she? And besides, is there any reason I can't compliment a beautiful chick?" Zippo asked.

"Yes," Diane said. "Rose."

"Ah. That's a good reason," Zippo admitted.

"Ah, it's my ozzer half!" the Fantina that had been with Lily, Zippo, and her servants the whole time said in relief. "I zought I sensed you nearby. So good to see you're all right!"

"It was a little touch and go at times, but everyzing turned out all right in ze end," the second Fantina said, drifting towards her twin.

"And now zat we are togezzer again…" the first Fantina said, drawing closer to the second sorceress.

"Zere is nozzing zat can stop us!" the second declared, just before they touched each other. There was a blinding flash of light, and Articuno hissed and raised a wing to shield her eyes. When the glare died down, only one Fantina remained…but she seemed fuller, more complete than either of the two Mismagiuses that had been there a moment ago had been, more powerful and more, well, _Fantina_ in every way. With a mighty cry, she channeled her power and fired a humongous beam of sorcerous might at Articuno, blasting into the ice goddess with roughly three times as much force as the Enchanted Express had crashed into Lugia with, flinging Articuno off the side of the battleship in a shriek of agony.

"Holy crap!" an astonished Zippo gasped.

"How…how did you…" said a stunned Lily.

Fantina giggled. "Zere are advantages to being me, dear."

"Why didn't you do that before?" Zippo demanded.

"She was split in two before. Now she's not," Butler said.

"Oh. That makes sense," Zippo admitted grudgingly.

"Well, now that you're at full power again, this should be a lot easier," Diane said.

Lily nodded in agreement. "Yes, after all, you've battled my mother and her ice magic for most of your life. You should be able to deal with Articuno for a while longer, until Ash is ready to destroy her once and for all, right?"

"I intend to, yes," Fantina said. She frowned as Articuno rose back into view, shedding more icy feathers. "She 'as recovered already…zis will not be easy."

"Maybe not, but we only need to hold her off for a little longer…we've lasted this long, so I think we can manage that," Zippo said cockily.

Fantina smirked as flames kindled to life around her. "Indeed…all right! Let's remind 'er zat Ash is not ze only one she should be worried about! _Chargez!_" Fire erupting around them, they charged, beginning the battle anew.

Leaving his friends behind and hoping they could handle themselves a little longer, Ash continued on his way, his gaze focused on the distant Lugia. He didn't get very far, however, before he sensed another presence and whirled around, snarling when he saw the second of the legendary bird trio floating nearby. "Zapdos!" The memory of Gary getting electrocuted to death by the vile thunderbird flashed before his eyes, and he had to bite down on his anger again to keep it from overwhelming him.

"That's my name, don't wear it out!" Zapdos sneered. "Good to see Articuno didn't kill you; I was _so_ hoping to have the honor of taking you out myself! I've already gotten to such a good start; why, just a little while ago I killed another of your little friends! Once I kill you as well, I'll have earned so much credit with Oblivion's Shadow that the other two will _never_ be able to catch up with me!"

Ash's eyes widened in horror. "What? You killed…no!"

"That's right! I murdered that fatass of a vampire…would you believe he gave up his unlife trying to save some stupid mutt? What kind of idiot does something like that, anyway? What a putz!" Zapdos snorted.

"You mean…Vladimir?" Ash gasped.

"Was that his name? Huh, I suppose it was," Zapdos murmured nonchalantly. "Oh well, who cares? He's dead now, so it doesn't matter. Well, not to me, anyway! You seem to be taking it pretty hard, though…what's wrong, Ash? Feeling bad that you couldn't save another of your widdle friends? Oooooh, that must make you _so_ angry! Whatchu gonna do about it, 'hero?' You gonna go Zubatshit insane and kill everyone who gets in your way, even your friends? Just like you did the last time?"

"Don't tempt me…" Ash snarled, fists clenched so hard his claws drew blood from his palms. Aura started flaring around him, flickering as it took on a slightly darker hue.

"Oho, you _are_ angry! That is so precious!" Zapdos gushed. "Too bad it's not gonna do you any good, though, because you've walked right into my trap! Hah!" He spread his wings out, electricity crackling around him, and with a clap of thunder half a dozen lightning bolts shot down from the sky and converged on Ash. The Lucario looked up in alarm as the bolts surged towards him…

And abruptly veered away at the last second, slamming down into the familiar figure of Bob the vampire. Except not so familiar, since it looked as if he had evolved. "Bob?" Ash asked incredulously as the vampiric hound managed to absorb the electricity, grimacing in pain as he did so.

"In…the flesh," Bob grunted as excess electricity crackled around him and left scorch marks on the deck.

Ash's jaw dropped. "You can _talk?_"

"I can now, thanks to my late master's last gift," Bob said, glancing away from Ash to glare at the stunned Zapdos. "A gift I intend to put to good use to avenge his murder!"

"Oh, come on! Seriously? SERIOUSLY?" Zapdos shrieked incredulously. "You're still hung up on that? And you're _still_ following me? Gah! I don't believe it! Even when you're not a literal pain on my back, you're _still_ a pain on my back! Or ass. Whatever! Why don't you just leave me alone? Or die? Or both?"

"So long as you still draw breath, I will never rest, not until you pay for your sins!" Bob snarled, electricity and dark energy swirling around him, red eyes glowing fiercely.

"And we'll help!" Rose said as she and Happy flew down on either side of the Manectric.

"We may not have known Vladimir very long, but he was our friend, too…and when you hurt a friend of Team Getem, you have to answer to us!" Happy said.

"Oh, for the love of…" Zapdos groaned. "You two, too? Do you ever go anywhere without each other? What, do you even go to the same bathroom or something? Huh…that would actually be kinda kinky, now that I think about it…"

"Ash, we'll take care of Zapdos! You keep going and get to Lugia!" Rose told Ash, ignoring Zapdos' lewd comment.

Ash only hesitated for a moment, before remembering what Fantina had said. "All right. But don't do anything too risky, okay? Because I…I don't know if I could stand it if I lost another one of my friends to these birds…"

"We have no intention of losing to him," Bob said.

"Yeah, neither did the fatass, and look what happened to him!" Zapdos cackled.

Bob snarled, hackles raising. "You wretched…"

"Ash, get going," Happy said firmly. "It looks like Lugia's powering up a really strong attack, you don't have much time left!"

"Actually, he's been charging it for the last several minutes…and it doesn't look like he's gotten very far…but you're right, I have to go," Ash said with a nod. "Take care!" He turned and started running towards his target.

"Oh no you don't! You aren't going anywhere!" Zapdos shouted, calling down more lightning…which was redirected towards Bob. His eye twitched in frustration. "You know, that's _really_ getting old!"

"So's your face!" Rose taunted. Everyone stared at her. She blushed. "Um…sorry. Zippo's been trying to teach me how to trash-talk. I…I'm not very good at it…"

"…Right. Anyway," Happy said, turning back to Zapdos. "Are you ready for round…um…whatever it is by now?"

"Tch, fine!" Zapdos snarled in frustration. "This has dragged on long enough! It's long past time to wipe you out and get to the main event!"

"Main event? What, are we just the warm-up?" Bob growled.

"Please, if anything you're the appetizer!" Zapdos snickered as lightning bolts cracked down around him. "So let's finish this…once and for all!"

"You have no idea how happy I am to comply," Bob snarled as he lunged towards the evil goddess, followed by his companions.

Ash still had a ways to go. There was still at least half of the battleship's deck left between him and Lugia, but he was eating up the distance quickly, so was pretty sure he could make it before Lugia's attack reached full power. Unfortunately, (and unsurprisingly) he found himself waylaid yet again when a wall of black fire rose up before him, and another appeared behind him, trapping him between the flames. "Oh, come on…not _again…_"

"Ha! Bet you weren't expecting me to show up, were you?" Moltres taunted as she flapped down, waves of heat rolling off her form and causing Ash to flinch.

"Actually, since I just ran into your siblings, I figured it was only a matter of time until you appeared," Ash said, trying not to flinch as memories of Moltres incinerating May and Dawn flashed before his eyes.

"…Oh," Moltres said, somewhat discomfited that she didn't have the element of surprise. "Well…then you know I'm gonna kill you!"

"Actually, since each of your siblings said pretty much the same thing, only to be interrupted when my friends saved me, I'm pretty sure whoever you were fighting before you came here to kill me should show up to rescue me right about…" A massive Hydro Cannon and Thunderbolt smashed into Moltres, causing her to hiss in pain as she was flung away. "Now."

"Ho, Ash! Good to see you're still in one piece," Captain Salty said as he, Dean, and Sparky came into view.

"And you, too. Thanks for the save," Ash said gratefully. "I'm sorry I have to cut this reunion short, but I need to get going to stop Lugia, and I've had this conversation twice already. Do you think you can handle Moltres for me while I purify Lugia?"

Sparky nodded solemnly. "I swear on my sword and my honor that we will give you all the time you need."

Salty nodded. "Aye lad, you can count on us!"

"Yeah…" Dean said quietly, looking a little withdrawn. Ash frowned, knowing why.

"All right…so long as no other major distractions turn up, I should be able to finish this in a matter of minutes, and then Lugia and I will work together to take down the three birds once and for all," Ash promised. "I'll be as quick as I can, so you don't have to hold out for very long, okay?"

"Ha! Look at him. All concerned for our safety," Salty chuckled in amusement.

"You don't need to worry about us, Ash. We've managed to withstand Moltres this long. A few more minutes should be well within our abilities," Sparky assured him.

"…All right. Just…just be safe, okay? I…don't want to lose anyone else," Ash said, trying not to glance at Dean, who seemed to shrink in on himself.

Sparky's face hardened, understanding at once. "We promise we will be as careful as we can. We know how dangerous this is. But we also know what is at stake…which is why we are willing to risk our lives to make sure that you succeed."

"You shouldn't need to risk your lives for my sake, though," Ash protested.

"But we must. You are the only one who can save Lugia, and possibly the only one who can truly defeat the Nihilators. While we have our own mission, we are aware that even if we defeat Judgment, the world could still be in jeopardy if you and your teammates are unable to stop them," Sparky said. "So when we risk our lives, it is not only for your sake…but for the world's."

Ash made a face. "That's a lot of pressure to put on a guy."

"Perhaps so…but Arceus would not have laid this onus on you if he did not believe you capable of handling it," Sparky said.

"I suppose," Ash said, not looking very sure.

"That's all very well and good, but didn't you say you were in a bit of a hurry?" Salty asked, getting annoyed by all this dithering.

Ash blinked. "Huh? Oh, right…sorry. Okay, I'll leave this to you. And…Dean?"

"Yeah?" the Wooper asked quietly.

"I'm…sorry about Vladimir," Ash said softly.

Dean wouldn't meet Ash's eyes. "Yeah," he said after a moment. "So am I."

"Us too. Now get going already!" Salty ordered.

"Right. Oh, and Sparky? Ritchie's here just a ways back, when he's finished mopping up the Nihilator crew I'm sure he'll be down here to help you. Well, assuming he doesn't stop to help the others first," Ash said.

Sparky broke into a relieved smile at this information. "It will be good to see him again. Now go! Moltres is returning!"

"Damn right I am! You're not going anywhere!" Moltres shrieked as she flew into view.

"Oh yes I am!" Ash said, running straight towards the flames barring the path forward.

"Ha! You idiot, all you're doing is ensuring a horrific and fiery…" Moltres started, only for her jaw to drop when Ash shielded himself in Aura and lunged at the flames, which writhed and parted to let him through. "…end…WHAT?"

"Those flames were made of Shadow Aura," Ash called over his shoulder as he resumed his dash towards Lugia. "I can _purify_ Shadow Aura. Aura Guardian, remember?"

"Oh. Duh," Moltres cursed, smacking herself in the face with a wing. "Well then, let's see how you like something a little hotter!" She opened her mouth and prepared to exhale her Shadow Flame, which she was fairly confident Ash _couldn't_ purify…and got a beakful of water, courtesy of Salty. "Arghhhbblltlltt! *gack* *cough* GAH! DON'T DO THAT!" she shrieked furiously at the Tentacool, steam billowing from her mouth.

"I'll do it as much as I want to. Which is a lot," Salty chuckled.

"We will not allow you to interfere. This is Ash's destiny. You have no right to prevent it," Sparky said.

"Right? RIGHT? I have all the right in the world! If Ash purifies Lugia, then he'll kill me! That's _my _destiny! I'm just trying to protect myself! What the Abyss is wrong with that?" Moltres protested. "I don't…I don't wanna die…"

"…That is an understandable motive," Sparky admitted, feeling a pang of sympathy…but only for a moment. "However, all this is something you have brought upon yourself."

"You don't think I know that?" Moltres snapped. "If I could turn back time like Celebi or Dialga and do things over, I would never have attacked that brat's friends. But I _can't_ change the past, and so I've had this death sentence hanging over my head for the last thousand years! What do you expect me to do, just freaking accept my death with dignity, knowing virtual nonexistence is all that awaits me?"

"…You know, she kind of has a point," Salty said reluctantly.

Sparky frowned. "Even so, that does not excuse all the evil you have committed between now and then. Unfair though it may seem to you, justice _will_ be carried out, regardless of your feelings on the matter."

"No! No fucking way! I've come too long and given up too much to just let it end like this! I've dreaded this day for a thousand years…and now that it's here, I'm not going to let ANYONE stop me from preventing it from happening, even you!" Moltres screamed, fire blazing out around her and melting large portions of the deck.

"Stop it we will," Sparky said, raising his sword, lightning cracking down around him. "Just as we shall stop all evil caused by villains like you!"

"Oh yeah? BRING IT!" Moltres howled. And that's exactly what they did.

And while they did so, Ash kept on running towards Lugia. (Wow, it felt like he'd been doing that for a while now. And Lugia still wasn't finished charging up his attack? What, was this an anime or something?) He was now two-thirds of the way there, and even though it looked as if Lugia had built up a fair amount of power, he was confident he could stop him before he fired, so long as nothing else got in his way.

And naturally, that's when a giant robotic spider leg scythed through the air and smashed through the deck in front of him, skewering the battleship and causing Ash to skid to a halt in alarm as large fissures snaked out from the imbedded leg in every direction, blocking his path. "Really? REALLY?" he screamed incredulously as he stared up at the visage of the Arachnoblast, looming far above him.

"Gyahahahahahahaha! At last, I've finally caught you!" Tarantulas' voice boomed from the bobbing head of the mechanical monster. "Did you really zink you could get avay zat easily, Ash? I scanned your body vhile you vere a guest in my hangar. I've engraved your biometrics into my circuit boards! I can use zat data to track your unique life signature anyvere in ze vorld, so no matter how far you run, you can never escape my web!"

Ash frowned in alarm at this. If he was telling the truth, that could mean bad news. It meant the Nihilators would be able to hunt him down and steal the map and Star Badges even if he managed to survive this battle.

Which was why he was fairly confident Tarantulas was lying. The Nihilators had had plenty of opportunities to obtain this so-called 'life signature' in the past, and if they hadn't gotten it before, why would they now? Not to mention that he was fairly certain the inlaid magic in the hull of the luggage car would have prevented Tarantulas from making any scans of the interior, even with all the defense spells shut down. "Even if that were true, which I find highly unlikely, I'm not running anywhere!" Ash shouted at the giant robot, only wondering after the fact if Tarantulas would be able to hear him from such a high altitude. "I'll be happy to fight you and your kind any time and place! If you want me, why don't you come out of that tin can and fight me mon-to-mon?"

"OHOHO, AN INTERESTING PROPOSAL…VHICH I AM AFRAID I MUST DECLINE. VHY SHOULD I BOZZER RISKING MY METAL HIDE VHEN I CAN SIMPLY DESTROY YOU VHERE YOU STAND?" The jaws of the Arachnoblast's head opened up, its cannon charging up much, _much_ faster than Lugia was taking to prepare his Shadow Blast. Ash stiffened, realizing he only had a matter of seconds before the cannon fired, and nowhere left to run. "YOU HAVE BEEN A ZORN IN OUR SIDES FOR FAR TOO LONG…REDUCING YOU TO BASE ATOMS VILL BE SO PLEASURABLE I'D BARELY EVEN CONSIDER IT VORK! AHAHAHAHA! PREPARE YOURSELF FOR TOTAL DISINTEGRATION IN ZREE…TWO…ONE-"

"_**ZERO!"**_ Outlaw bellowed as she landed on the back of the Arachnoblast's head, knocking it off balance and causing it to fire its energy beam in the wrong direction, barely missing Ash as it streaked past him, sliced through the edge of the battleship, and carved a long trench through the ground.

"GAH! VHAT? YOU? _IMPOSSIBLE!_" Tarantulas screamed incredulously as Outlaw punched and slashed and dug her claws into the robot spider's armored cranium again and again. "I ZOUGHT MY SPIDERS FINISHED YOU!"

"_**Pah! Like such inferior military hardware could truly pose a threat to a superior Cybertronian warrior like myself!"**_ Outlaw sneered as she rent deep furrows in the surface of the cockpit.

"I seem to remember you squealing like Bosco when he thinks his mother and/or the government is spying on him when one of those spiders touched your foot," Sam said.

"_**I wasn't squealing! That was, er, a Decepticon battle hymn!"**_ Outlaw lied.

"Really? Didn't sound like much of a hymn to me," George commented.

"_**Well of course it wouldn't, fleshling, it was in Cybertronian! Our language is infinitely more complex than those irritating sounds you make with your slimy mouth parts. What you foolishly mistook for a squeal of terror actually contained the equivalent of twelve thousand verses of one of your primitive Pokémon songs, each stanza detailing how I would tear the Sparks from my enemies and feast on their Energon!"**_ Outlaw lied. Again.

"Uhuh," George said skeptically, clearly not buying it.

"GNNHHH…GET…OFF!" Tarantulas snarled as he flailed the Arachnoblast's head about wildly, trying to dislodge Outlaw.

The Decepticon snarled and dug her claws in deeper, refusing to let go. _**"Oh no! I didn't climb all the way up here just to get knocked off! I'm not going anywhere!"**_

"YES! YOU! ARE!" Tarantulas shouted, punctuating each exclamation by pounding the Arachnoblast's head against one of its legs, smashing Outlaw into the side of the limb repeatedly, crushing her between the two super-hard surfaces.

"_**Nnnghhh…is…is that…all you've got?"**_ Outlaw said through gritted fangs. She drew back her claws for a moment, evil flames forming in her hands. _**"RrrrrraaaaaAAAAHHHHHH!"**_ She slammed her burning hands into the top of the Arachnoblast's head, releasing a powerful blast of fire and causing the cockpit to whip about wildly on top of its long neck, hissing as if in pain.

"Why is it behaving and making noises like it's a living thing? Isn't it just a giant machine being controlled by some crazy cyborg Ariados?" George asked in puzzlement. "Why would he build it that way?"

"Because he's a mad scientist, of course," Sam said.

"…Oh. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense," George admitted.

"GAH! VHY VON'T ANYONE AROUND HERE WHO'S NOT ON MY SIDE _**DIE!**_" Tarantulas screamed in exasperation as he electrified the surface of the Arachnoblast's cockpit, causing Outlaw to grunt in pain.

"Because we live to spite you!" Sam said as he pointed his turret at the robot's head (the Arachnoblast, not Outlaw's) and opened fire. George followed suit. There was a series of small explosions and the electric current cut off, Tarantulas roaring furiously as the Arachnoblast's head flailed wildly about.

"Ash, get going!" George shouted to Ash, who'd been standing in place for the last few seconds, staring at the battle in disbelief. "We'll keep him busy!"

"Huh? Oh, right! On my way!" Ash called, embarrassed that he'd been distracted and slowed down yet again. He started running around the giant leg driven through the deck, jumping over the gradually widening cracks as he tried to make it across to Lugia.

"NEIN! NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN! YOU VILL NOT ESCAPE! NOT ZIS TIME!" Tarantulas shrieked insanely, the Arachnoblast's eyes lighting up and firing laser beams which tracked Ash across the deck, melting everything in their path to slag.

Or at least, they did until Outlaw flipped over the top of the Arachnoblast's head and landed over its face, driving her blazing Spark-sword into one of its eyes and causing an explosion that not only shut off the lasers but caused the machine to reel back in pain. Inside the cockpit, Tarantulas screamed frantically as the tip of the sword smashed through the front of the room, disintegrating at least a quarter of the bridge crew on contact with the energy blade. Outlaw withdrew the sword and peered through the gap she had made, grinning savagely at the Ariados. _**"Well, well, well, if it isn't the itsy bitsy spider himself! You know, you probably should have given yourself a bigger mechanical body, Doctor…then maybe it wouldn't be so easy for me to squish you once I get in there and exterminate you like the vermin you are!"**_

"Activate auto-defense turrets! Fire! FIRE!" Tarantulas screamed desperately. Hidden turrets emerged from recessed cavities in the walls and swiveled to target the Decepticon warrior. A high-pitched hum filled the air as powerful electromagnetic fields came online inside the railgun mechanisms. Before Outlaw could even blink, the first of several thousand razor-sharp tungsten-iron flechette rounds hit her chest, right over her Spark.

They also did absolutely no damage. _**"Was that supposed to hurt?"**_ Outlaw sneered as the rounds ricocheted off her Destronium alloy hide, ripping most of the control room (and another quarter of the bridge crew) to shreds. It was only through sheer luck and/or plot contrivance that none of the rounds hit Tarantulas or Viers, though the force field the Doctor had raised to separate his half of the room from the front may have helped.

Some of the flechetes struck the webbing wrapped around Chobin's sphere, tearing some of it away and exposing the deranged Sunflora, who suddenly found everyone staring at him masturbating. He blinked and looked around in confusion at all the destruction. "Wow…what was happening? Do you guys have a party of fun and sprinkles and cake and bloodshed and were not inviting Chobin to it? You are the suck! Chobin am hating all of you!" he yelled angrily. "…And stop staring at Chobin fondling and making out with Little Chobin! THERE AM BEING NOTHING WRONG WITH OUR FORBIDDEN LOVE!"

"…_**You meatbags are so disgusting," **_Outlaw said, grossed-out.

"Normally I'd disagree with you, but in this case I'll make an exception," Sam said.

"Oh Arceus, I did not need to see that," George moaned.

"Didn't like ze sight of zat, eh? Vell, too bad it'll be one of ze last zings you ever see!" Tarantulas quipped, spitting a Spider Web into Outlaw's face.

"_**Gah! My optics! I can't see!" **_Outlaw cried in alarm, clawing at the webbing covering her face.

"Ha! Get it? It's one of ze last zings she'll see because I've blinded her! Pretty clever, eh?" Tarantulas asked Viers.

"Meh," the Emboar said, unimpressed. "It was being average. As average as an extremely common Normal-type Pokémon who went to an average school and was born to average parents with an average income and average lifestyle living in an average neighborhood getting an extremely average GPA. Which is short for Grade Point Average. Meaning he is being really average. Like your joke. Which is average. As average as-"

"Okay, I get it," Tarantulas interrupted, looking cross.

"You are teh suck!" Chobin said happily, continuing to masturbate.

"No, _you_ are!" Tarantulas snapped.

"Hey, that are being a blindingly absolutely illuminating enlighteningly brilliant idea of extreme luminosity and brightness!" Chobin exclaimed, bending almost double and opening his mouth to-

"Okay, I didn't need to see zat," Tarantulas said, glancing away in disgust.

"How does he do that without breaking his spine?" asked the amazed Viers.

"He doesn't have a spine, he's a Grass-type," Tarantulas said, being careful not to look at his assistant. "And I zink one of his parents was a circus contortionist or somezing."

"_**As soon as I clear my optics, I will reduce you to scrap and gibbets!" **_Outlaw snarled as she continued clawing at her face.

"I vould very much razzer you did not do zat, vhich is vhy Viers here is going to knock you off my precious Arachnoblast!" Tarantulas declared.

Viers blinked. "I am?"

"Yes, you are! Attack her already!" Tarantulas ordered.

"Yes, Lord Doctor Tarantulas!" Viers bellowed, clenching his fists as his flames shot up to lick the ceiling. He stomped the ground over and over again, one foot after the other, until a cloud of dust kicked up and covered his body. The dust was blown away as a sphere of red and yellow flames ignited around him. He jumped into the air towards Outlaw with Flame Charge, flames streaking out behind him as he smashed into the Decepticon with all his might, which was enough for even a Cybertronian like Outlaw to take notice of. His body mass and the force of his attack, combined with the fact that she was already off-balance due to using one hand to try and clear her face while she held onto the Arachnoblast's face with the other and both feet, caused her to slip and lose her grip, falling screaming from view. She managed to catch herself at the last second by grabbing onto one of the fangs in the Arachnoblast's mouth, but that did not matter quite so much to Tarantulas at that moment because with the Cybertronian out of the way, his view was cleared, allowing him to see that Ash had made it around the leg driven through the battleship's deck and only had a few kilometers left between him and Lugia.

The cyborg gasped in horror. "NEIN! He's almost zere! Quickly, fire everyzing ve have at him! He cannot be allowed to reach Pokemon XD001!"

"Er, we can't," one of the remaining Nihilators said apologetically.

"…Vhat do you _mean_ ve can't?" Tarantulas screamed incredulously.

"Well, um, I think that robot's initial attack, combined with the ricochet from the defense cannons, managed to kill everyone who knew how to use the weapons systems as well as the consoles that made those weapons work," the Nihilator said timidly. "We can get some replacement mons and parts up here, but it'll take several minutes before we're capable of firing off a single shot."

Tarantulas moaned at this news. "Of all ze rotten…no matter! I'm vired directly into ze Arachnoblast's systems, I shall simply fire zem manually!" He gave the mental command to fire…only for his mechanical eye to be filled by the dreaded Blue Screen of Death. "Eh? Vhat is zis? Vhy isn't it vorking?"

"Even with all the backup programs and computers strung throughout the fortress, most of the weapons onboard rely upon the systems up here to function properly," the Nihilator reported. "We could try rerouting everything through the secondary bridge's computers, but that-"

"Vould also take a few minutes. Minutes ve don't have!" Tarantulas said, gnashing his mandibles in frustration. He paused, getting an idea. "Vait a minute. Are our motor functions still vorking?"

"Well-" one of the Nihilators started.

"Never mind, I'll look for myself…yes! YES! AHAHAHAHA!" he cackled triumphantly when he got a positive response from his mental inquiry. "Ve're still in business, gentlemons! Brace yourselves, zis is going to be a bumpy ride!"

Down below, Ash continued his run towards Lugia. He'd gotten close enough now that he could hear Tiny and Cruise's cries of encouragement rather than just feeling them through his bond with his son. He was also close enough now that he could feel the perverse darkness and sheer malevolence washing off of Lugia in great waves, and it made him sick to his stomach to see and feel what the Nihilators had done to the majestic sea god. _Don't worry, Lugia,_ Ash thought to himself. _Just another minute, and this'll all be over._ He glanced at Lugia's mouth, seeing that while the orb of darkness in the fallen god's jaws had almost reached maximum capacity, there was still a little while left before it reached full power. There was plenty of time left for Ash to get to Lugia and purify him before he could fire, and…

Wait. Why did he sense urgency and alarm from his son? And why were Tiny and Cruise shouting at him to look behind him? An icy feeling of dread washing over him, Ash glanced over his shoulder and saw, to his horror, that the Arachnoblast's head was hurtling straight towards him, Outlaw desperately clinging to one of its teeth to keep from falling off. _Holy crap! Is he trying to kill himself?_ Ash wondered incredulously.

"AAAAAAASH!" Tarantulas bellowed from within the monster's head as it approached way too fast for Ash's liking.

"Shiiiiiiit!" Ash screamed, leaping at the last second as the Arachnoblast's head smashed into the deck just behind him, the shockwave knocking him into the air and sending him flipping end over end before he could land, with a little effort, on his feet nearby. He didn't even get a second to catch his breath, however, before the monster's head rose up again and came smashing down towards him again, forcing him to backflip frantically to get out from under its shadow just before it could crush him, the impact cratering the deck and sending metal fragments flying everywhere, nearly skewering Ash if he hadn't managed to deflect the shrapnel with his staff at the last second. The head rose up again and came down again and again, forcing Ash to frantically zigzag all over the place to keep from being flattened beneath the mechanoid's skull. When after a few dozen tries the head drew back and rose high into the air on its long neck, Ash dared for a second to think that Tarantulas had given up…

And then the neck extended to its fullest, and the head came crashing down onto the deck far before him, its chin landing on the far edge of the deck while the rest was covered by the monster's neck. Ash didn't have long to puzzle out why the Doctor was doing this, however, when suddenly the head came sweeping across the ground towards him, sparks and bits of metal flying as it carved a long scar in the deck in its wake. Seeing he had no way to evade or get around the attack, since the Arachnoblast's lengthy neck covered the full breadth of the ground in front of him and there was nothing behind him save for the mobile fortress's leg, Ash saw no point in retreating, and dashed forward, aiming for the monster's neck. Just before he could crash into it, Ash drove his staff into the ground and used it to vault himself into the air, flipping over the serpentine cable as it swept across the ground beneath him, landing on the other side and continuing towards Lugia. Enraged, Tarantulas drew back the Arachnoblast's head and lunged forwards, jaws gaping wide to swallow the Lucario whole…

Only to find its charge arrested when Outlaw, who'd finally managed to get a proper grip on the Arachnoblast's fangs, shot her feet out behind her, digging them into the deck and hitting her brakes as hard as she could. She ground her fangs in agony as friction (and the very large and sharp pieces of metal flying up from the deck) tore at her feet as she drove them into the floor, rending deep trenches into the ground as she struggled with all her strength to bring the giant head to a stop.

Unfortunately, it wasn't enough. "Outlaw, this isn't working! All systems are in the red!" Sam shouted in alarm as he repeatedly fired his cannon into the Arachnoblast's face, to no visible effect.

"How can you tell?" George asked.

"The fact that all the displays have turned red and there's an annoying klaxon blaring in my cockpit," Sam said.

"Oh, so that's what that is," George said.

"_**Nnnggghh…ggghhhaaaa…**_" Outlaw grunted, fangs digging into each other so hard Energon was starting to spill from her lips, or the Cybertronian equivalent thereof.

"HAHAHAHAHA! VHAT'S WRONG? IS MY ARACHNOBLAST TOO MUCH FOR YOU TO HANDLE?" Tarantulas cackled gleefully. "YOU SAID I SHOULD HAVE MADE MYSELF A BIGGER BODY, MACHINE…AND ZAT'S EXACTLY VHAT I DID! IN ZE ARACHNOBLAST, I AM COMPLETELY INVINCIBLE! NOZZING, NOT EVEN AN UNFORESEEN ANOMALY LIKE YOU, CAN STOP ME! AND VONCE I'VE HAD ZE CHANCE TO DISSECT YOUR MECHANICAL CARCASS AND GLEAN ZE SECRETS OF YOUR TECHNOLOGY, I VILL USE IT TO MAKE BIGGER AND BETTER VEAPONS AND SHIPS…UNTIL ZE NIHILATORS ARE A POWER UNMATCHED ZHROUGHOUT ZE UNIVERSE! GAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Outlaw's eyes flashed and her face twisted into a mask of hatred. Her body started trembling, and she gripped the fangs she was holding so hard they began to crumple in her claws. _**"Power…unmatched? You…you dare to speak…SUCH BLASPHEMY?"**_

"EH? VHAT ARE YOU-"

"_**Only one power shall dominate the cosmos, and that is the Decepticons! The Decepticons shall rule the universe, and Megatron shall rule the Decepticons! That is our destiny! To deny this, to think otherwise, is nothing short of foolishness…and we do not suffer fools to live!"**_ Outlaw roared, a strange aura pulsing around her as her red eyes grew brighter and brighter. _**"In the name of the Decepticons, of Megatron, of CYBERTRON…I SHALL DESTROY YOU UTTERLY!"**_ The numerous exhaust pipes sticking out of her back lit up and expelled tremendous streams of flame. More flames shot out from her vents, her joints, her grille, her eyes and mouth, and pretty much every crack or crevice or orifice in her body.

"Ack! Wh-what the Abyss? She's burning up! We're going to be cooked alive!" George cried in fright, panting as flames danced around the exterior of her cockpit.

"No we won't, just turn up the AC," Sam said.

George glanced at her control panel and noticed the air conditioning was on low. "Oh." She quickly cranked it up to full power and leaned back in her seat, sighing in relief as the cockpit cooled off within seconds. "That's much better."

"V-VHAT IS ZIS? VHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Tarantulas cried incredulously as more and more flames erupted from Outlaw and jetted backwards, adding exponentially to the force she was using to try and stop the Arachnoblast's head and causing the giant robot's lunge to gradually start to slow down. "YOU'RE…YOU'RE SLOWING US DOWN? BUT ZAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!"

"_**I am Outlaw, mightiest of the Decepticon army!" **_Outlaw snarled. _**"I fell into the Pit and clawed back out, kicking the Fallen in the aft on my way to the surface! I survived the battle of Metallis XII and delivered the heads of the Autobot insurgents—and the cowards who tried to desert when the tide seemed to turn against us—to Lord Megatron as a gift! I looked Unicron the Unmaker in the eye and SPAT IN IT! I shall not fall this day, not to a pathetic vermin who dreams of Cybertronian perfection! I am Outlaw, and I say that YOU! SHALL! NOT! PAAAAASSSSSSS!" **_Even more flames shot out from her back, and with a tremendously loud metal scraping and a shower of sparks the Arachnoblast head's charge slowed and finally, inexorably, came to a hatl.

"N-NEIN! _NEIN!_" Tarantulas screamed in disbelief. "VE'RE STILL PUSHING FORVARD AT FULL POWER…AND YOU'RE STOPPING US IN OUR TRACKS? HOW CAN ZIS BE?"

"How _can _this be, Sam?" George asked, amazed.

"Outlaw's a very determined individual," Sam said proudly. "Which is only fitting, since she's our car." He frowned when he noticed several displays on his console which were flashing angrily. "Hmm…but she can't keep this up for very long until she overheats and burns out. She's running at 500 percent power, and it's taking every erg in her just to keep that thing in one place. If she keeps running at this capacity for more than a few minutes, her circuits will crash, her servos will break, her engine will explode, and we'll probably die a horrible fiery death."

"Ah. And how do we keep her from doing this?" George asked anxiously.

Sam stroked his chin in thought. "She's only outputting all this power because the Arachnoblast is still pushing at us. If we could stop that somehow…ah. I have an idea. Ash! I hate to interrupt you yet again, but do you think you could give us a hand?"

Ash, who was now only a few hundred meters from Lugia, sagged and reluctantly turned around. "What is it now?"

"Outlaw's doing the best she can to hold this bad boy back, but she can't do it for much longer. When her strength runs out, we'll probably be torn apart and the Doctor will smash through our wreckage and squish you, your kids, and maybe even Lugia into a puddle of sticky red goo. Well, red and purple-black goo, in Lugia's case," Sam said.

"Oh. That's not good," Ash said in alarm. "What can I do?"

"There's a rather sizable hole a ways up this thing's face that leads straight into the Doctor's hidey-hole," Sam said. "Our cannons can't target it—the angle's all wrong—but _you_ can. If you can land an attack in there…"

"It'll do some serious damage to that thing and save you guys! Maybe even kill the Doctor!" Ash realized.

"That's the idea," Sam said.

"VAIT, VHAT? NO!" Tarantulas screamed.

Ash glanced back at Lugia and the Pupitars and sighed. "Sorry guys, I'm afraid you're going to have to wait another minute or two. This is kind of important. I'll be right back!"

"Sure…thing…Daddy…" Tiny grunted.

"Take your…time…not like we're…going anywhere…" Cruise grumbled. Lugia opened his mouth wider, the ball of darkness almost at full power.

"NEIN! NEIN NEIN NEIN!" Tarantulas shouted as Ash started running back towards him, moving towards the edge of the deck so he wouldn't get roasted by the long streams of flame bursting out of Outlaw's exhaust pipes. "STOP HIM! FIRE ALL VEAPONS!"

"Er, we can't," a Nihilator said Mareepishly.

"…VHAT DO YOU MEAN VE CAN'T?" Tarantulas demanded.

"The weapons systems are still damaged, remember?" the Nihilator said, pointing to the many damaged computers littering the control room, numerous technicians and spider robots frantically working on them to try and bring them up to speed. "Don't worry, though, we should have them operational in approximately fifteen minutes!" A Magnemite stared at two split cables blankly, and then cautiously spliced them together using its magnetic powers. The result was an electroshock that fried the wires completely and sent him flying into the wall, blackened and swizzling, a swirly look in his eye. "Make that twenty minutes," the Nihilator said without missing a beat. One of the damaged consoles exploded, killing the engineer who was working on it. "Twenty-five-"

"I get it!" Tarantulas snapped angrily. "Vhat about ze hole in ze vall? How are repairs going on zat? Is zere any chance, no matter how remote, zat it'll be patched up before Ash gets here in approximately…ninety point two five zree four seven seven seconds?"

"Oh, yes, sir! We've almost completely finished repairs already! There's no way he'll be able to break through that barricade!" the Nihilator said cheerfully, pointing towards the gap Outlaw had made, which a Machoke was cheerfully trying to cover up with some wooden boards. When he realized the boss was looking at him, he paused in his hammering and waved at Tarantulas, a stupid grin on his face. That stupid grin remained even after Tarantulas had drilled a hole through his skull with a laser.

"I AM SURROUNDED BY IDIOTS, NINCOMPOOPS, AND UTTER DUMMKOPFS!" Tarantulas bellowed in fury.

"Do not worry, Lord Doctor Tarantulas, I shall take out this piece of trash!" Viers bellowed, stomping his feet as steam shot from his ears.

"He is not being the trash, he is being the garbage!" Chobin chirped.

Viers' brow furrowed in confusion and he glanced at Chobin. "What is the difference? Are not trash and garbage the same thing? Being synonyms? Which are two different words that mean the same thing? Such as trash and garbage, or eating and bingeing, or raping and rutting, or trash and garbage?"

Chobin nodded. "That is being correctly the affirmative affirmatory correctness!"

"Then why were you confusing me with confusion by saying that he is being garbage rather than trash when garbage is in fact the same thing as trash, so you were doing nothing but saying that he is what he is, namely, trash? Or garbage," Viers asked.

"Because Chobin is loving ever so much to being contrary for no reason, especially when it is the most annoyingly obnoxiously annoyingly obnoxious," Chobin said.

Tarantulas nodded sagely. "Yes, zis is very true. GET OUT ZERE RIGHT NOW AND STOP ASH BEFORE I TURN _YOU_ INTO GARBAGE!"

"He is not being the trash, he is being-" Chobin started.

"CHOBIN, I'M NOT IN ZE MOOD!" Tarantulas snapped.

"Pah! I am not garbage. I am not trash. I am not garbage that is trash. I am not trash that is garbage. I am nothing that is synonymous with anything else, unless the words that are describing me and their synonyms are 'monly,' 'powerful,' 'indomitable,' 'red-hot,' 'hungry,' 'hung like a Rapidash' or derivatives thereof," Viers rambled, tensing his muscles as he burst into flames. (And farted. And since he was on fire, the gas lit up too and ignited part of Tarantulas' web, causing him to screech frantically and spray retardant foam on it to put it out.) "I! AM! VIERS! AND! I! GO!" With another fiery fart, he launched himself into the air and out the big hole in the front of the room, smashing through the boards the Machoke carpenter had already nailed up in the process.

Sam blinked as he saw Viers shoot over his head. "…Did I just see a flying pig?"

"No, that was a flying Emboar, Tepigs are smaller," George said.

"Oh, okay," Sam said.

"_**You biologicals are so confusing. Why do you have to exist in so many different body types? How's a 'con supposed to remember them all?"**_ Outlaw complained.

"…Vell," Tarantulas said after a dumbfounded moment. "Zat's…one vay to get around, I suppose, but it must be hell on his digestive tract."

"Oh! Oh! Chobin wants to be able to propel himself through the air with the grace of a Beautifly and the speed of a Beedrill using flaming intestinal gas! Chobin wants to be able to propel himself through the air with the grace of a Beautifly and the speed of a Beedrill using flaming intestinal gas!" Chobin squealed.

"Chobin, you're a Grass-type. If you could make flaming farts, it vould burn you up from vizin, starting from your ass," Tarantulas said.

"So? Chobin is used to the hemhorroids of itchiness and anal bleeding and constant scratching," Chobin said, rubbing his butt against the side of the sphere and flashing it to everyone in the room. "How is this being any different?"

Chobin face-palmed. "Vhy do I even bozzer?" he muttered to himself.

Viers soared through the air, passing through the flames blasting out from Outlaw's back without harm due to his being a Fire-type as well as the envelope of flames surrounding him. Spotting Ash rapidly approaching, he cut off the flow from his bowels and thrust his feet forward, smashing into the ground in front of Ash hard enough to crater it and cause the back end of the battleship to creak and gradually tilt a few degrees lower due to the Emboar's weight exacerbating the cracks radiating from the leg imbedded through the middle of the ship that were slowly breaking the vessel in half. "Halt, Ash, sworn enemy of the Nihilators!" he bellowed. "I am Viers, and I have been dispatched by the great Lord Doctor Tarantulas-"

"Sorry, I _really_ don't have time for a mid-boss right now," Ash said as he drew back a fist and punched Viers right in the flat nose without even slowing down or missing a step, sending the Emboar flying back through the air on the exact same trajectory he had used to leave the cockpit, causing him to shoot back through the hole in the Arachnoblast's face and smash into the back wall. Fortunately, Tarantulas had anticipated Viers would make such a rapid return and spun a web net to catch him. Unfortunately, the Doctor's estimate as to where Viers would be landing was off by a few inches, so the loyal but not too bright Nihilator had missed the net completely and crashed right next to it.

"I am in a great deal of pain," Viers said weakly.

"Hooray!" Chobin cheered, clapping happily.

"Huh. I zought you'd last a bit longer. Oh vell," Tarantulas said with a many-legged shrug. "Now zere's just nozing left to STOP ZAT LUCARIO FROM COMING IN HERE AND KILLING US!" He paused. "No, vait, zere is one zing…" He grinned viciously. "Oh, little ones? I zink it's time to feed…" The robot spiders around the room perked up at this, chittering eagerly, their eyes glowing blood red. As one, they abruptly swarmed across the floor and out the gaping hole in the front of the chamber, devouring any Nihilator unlucky enough to get in their way as well as destroying the last pieces of board the Machoke had ineffectually nailed into place. Tarantulas cackled gleefully and spat a Spider Web into place over the hole, sealing it shut. "Zere! Zat should do ze trick!"

"That is pretty much being a guarantee that he will be finding a way through, isn't it?" Chobin asked.

"Shut up, Chobin! Nobody asked you!" Tarantulas snapped.

Outlaw flinched and nearly lost her grip when she saw Tarantulas' spider minions climb out of the hole in the Arachnoblast's face and scurry towards her. _**"Slag! More scraplets!"**_ she said in alarm. _**"And I'm not in any condition to fight them off!"**_

"Wait, I don't think they're interested in us," Sam noted as the swarm clambered past Outlaw, dropped to the ground, and spread out towards Ash. "I think they want Ash."

"_**Oh, thank Megatron,"**_ Outlaw said in relief. _**"Er, not that I was afraid or anything!"**_

"Wait, I thought scraplets didn't eat organics," George said.

"Then either they're not scraplets or they're scraplets that have decided to branch out into other food groups," Sam said. He paused to consider this. "I'm honestly not sure which option is more terrifying."

"The second one," both George and Outlaw said.

"Yeah, you're probably right," Sam agreed.

_Oh, crud, _Ash thought to himself when he saw the silvery wave of mechanoids sweeping towards him across the ground. He was going too fast for him to stop without running into the spiders, and there were too many for him to just go around. That left him with only one option: keep going right into them. That would be fun…

As the distance between him and the outer edge of the spider swarm narrowed, Ash charged Aura into his staff, causing the crystal on top to glow. He flung the staff when he decided it had built up enough of a charge, aiming for just past the front of the swarm. The staff landed in the ground point-down in the midst of the spiders and flashed, releasing a blast of Aura that vaporized several dozen of the little terrors and cleared a small circular space in the middle of the horde. Before the spiders could swarm back into that clear space, Ash jumped, flipping over the spiders before him and landing in the temporarily empty circle. He grabbed his staff, wrenched it from the ground, and then jumped again, somersaulting through the air as he built up more power in his weapon and flung it down again, creating another clearing for him to land in. He landed, grabbed, jumped, charged, flung, and repeated a few more times until he made it through the brunt of the swarm and, with a final bound, landed on Outlaw's arm, careful not to alight on one of the exhaust pipes spewing out flames. In spite of this, he still winced in pain when he touched down on the robot's arm; her metal chassis was extremely hot, and growing hotter by the second. At this rate, it probably wouldn't be much longer until she exploded, taking her two passengers with her.

Ash did not intend to allow that to happen. He jumped again, landing on top of the dome covering George's cockpit. "Everything okay in there?" he shouted.

"For the moment, yes, but even with the AC at full blast it's starting to get pretty hot in here," the Mightyena panted.

"_**Well, excuse me for radiating temperatures that your weak organic bodies are incapable of tolerating!" **_Outlaw snapped, although from the weary look on her face it was clear the sensation of overheating wasn't pleasant for her, either. _**"Are you going to do something, fleshling, or are you just going to sit there like a piece of Slog's artwork? If you're going to attack, do it already!"**_ she shouted at Ash.

Ash nodded. "I'm on it." He looked up at the Arachnoblast's face looming overhead, noticing that Tarantulas had covered the hole Outlaw had made from the inside with one of his metal-thread Spider Webs, and a rather large cluster of robot spiders was scurrying over it, trying to block Ash's access. The Lucario smirked, knowing that wasn't going to be enough to stop him. "This won't take but a second."

Clutching his staff, fist burning as he filled it with his Aura, he jumped straight upwards. As he passed the webbed-up hole, he flung his staff into the heart of the spider swarm while continuing his ascent. His aim was true, and the staff landed right in the center of the mass of arachnids, releasing a blast of Aura that not only destroyed the spiders but disintegrated Tarantulas' web as well.

"_Ach du lieber himmel!_ He's reopened ze hole! Quick, somebody do somezing before he-" Tarantulas started frantically, only to stop himself when Ash, descending from the apex of his jump, fell back into view. There was a triumphant look on his face, and a very large Aura Sphere in his paws. Tarantulas paled. "Oh, fuck."

Ash threw the Aura Sphere. Tarantulas quickly raised his force field, but, although it protected him and Viers, who was still plastered to the wall behind him, the rest of the cockpit was not so lucky. The resulting explosion was large enough to wipe out the remaining Nihilators and blast the upper part of the Arachnoblast's face to smithereens. It also stopped the constant pressure being applied to Outlaw, and with nothing holding her back anymore, she rocketed forwards with a victorious howl, leaving a trail of fire and molten metal behind her as she pushed the now-inert head all the way across the deck and slammed it into the leg piercing the battleship hard enough to not only cave half of the robot spider's head in, but also bend the leg almost in half, ripping open a massive fissure in the breadth of the battleship and causing both halves of the skewered ship to groan and begin angling away from each other. At this rate, it wouldn't be much longer before they split apart completely and fell out of the sky.

The recoil from the collision with the leg sent the head flying into the air, knocking Outlaw away and sending her tumbling out of control, flames spewing in every direction, until she managed to land on the deck with an impact hard enough to tilt the back half of the battleship some more and bring it even closer to the breaking point. The Arachnoblast's head, on the other hand, arced through the air like a drunken Farfetch'd and might have flown out of view altogether had it not still been attached to the fortress's main body by its long neck. The aforementioned neck snapped taut when the head reached its limit, and the cranium was yanked back, crashing into the top of the fortress face-first before skidding down the side and out of view, its neck going taut again before it could hit the ground, leaving it dangling limply from the side of the immense machine.

"Whoa," an amazed Ash said, hand snapping out to reflexively catch his staff as it flew out of the storm without taking his eyes off what had just happened. "Did _I_ do that?"

"_**No, **_**I **_**did,"**_ Outlaw corrected as she grunted and rose to her feet, armor steaming as the rain and snow poured on the superheated metal, which was slowly cooling as excess heat was vented from her…well, vents and smoke rose from the now-dormant pipes on her back. _**"But you helped. A little bit. Don't let it get to your head, squishy."**_

"Heh, all right, I won't," Ash said.

"That was incredible!" gushed the astonished George. "Did…did that do it? Did we just kill Doctor Tarantulas?"

"No, I'm still picking up life signs from what's left of the head," Sam said, glancing at his instruments. "We did a good job, but not good enough, it seems."

"_**Then we must finish what we have started! I will not rest until I have wrenched that arachnid's head from its neck so that I may present it as a trophy to Lord Megatron!" **_Outlaw declared, manifesting her sword.

"Well, I can't say Tarantulas won't deserve it," Ash said.

"_**Who said anything about Tarantulas?"**_ Outlaw asked. Ash's eyes bulged.

"Wait…does she mean…" George started slowly.

"Yep," Sam said.

"…How exactly is she supposed to get something that big to Cyber-wherever?" George asked incredulously.

"Well, it wouldn't be the first oversized trophy we've picked up from an adventure," Sam said. "Nor, the last, I wager."

"_**Certainly not, especially if I have something to say about it! Come, I have a monster to decapitate!"**_ With that, Outlaw giddily started running towards the Arachnoblast.

"…Well, have fun with that," Ash said. "And as for me…wasn't I right in the middle of something important?"

"DADDY!" Tiny shouted.

"Oh, that's right, I have to purify Lugia." There was a pause. His eyes widened. "Oh crap, Lugia, I forgot about him!"

"And us," Cruise said, sounding annoyed.

"Right, and you! Hang on, I'm coming!" Ash shouted as he resumed his run for Lugia once again, praying nothing else happened to interrupt him.

Naturally, something did. While dodging surprisingly powerful spells from Fantina—spells that were now actually doing damage to her and somehow penetrating her super-cold Aura—Articuno caught Ash's movement out of the corner of her eye and gasped when she realized how very close he was to Lugia, and how there was nothing left to stop him from reaching his destination. "Oh, FUCK! Zapdos, Moltres! He's almost to Lugia!" she shrieked at the top of her lungs as she evaded a swarm of fireballs flung by Lily.

"WHAT?" Horrified, Zapdos glanced away from the Happy shells he had been dueling with. He swore vehemently when he realized Articuno was right. "Oh, SHIT."

"Ack! Arceusdammit! You punks distracted me and made me forget who I _really_ should be focusing on right now!" Moltres shouted furiously at Salty, Dean, and Sparky.

"Yep," Salty said smugly.

"Soon, the prophecy will be fulfilled. There is nothing more you can do to thwart your destiny," Sparky said.

"Not if I have anything to say about it! Articuno, Zapdos! Let's use _that_ move!" Moltres shouted at her siblings.

"As in…our super-special ultimate unbeatable combo move?" Zapdos asked excitedly.

"The very same!" Moltres said.

"Awesome, I don't think we've had a chance to test it out in our Hyper Mode yet!" Articuno said eagerly.

"Come on, let's toast that brat once and for all! I was hoping to have the privilege of killing him myself, but I'll be perfectly satisfied with him dying even if it means I have to work with you two to do it!" Moltres said. She spread her wings and rose into the air, away from her opponents. Articuno and Zapdos quickly followed suit, leaving their surprised foes behind.

"Hey, where do you think you're going?" Salty asked angrily.

"No! You're not getting away!" Bob snarled.

"_Merde…_I 'ave a bad feeling about zis…" Fantina murmured.

"Everyone, after them!" Lily cried. They took to the air after the birds, hoping they could stop them before they accomplished…whatever it was they were trying to accomplish.

Unfortunately, the bird trio had already gained a lead using their size and superior speed and were rising above the knee joint of the imbedded Arachnoblast leg. "I have him in my sights!" Articuno squawked, spotting Ash on the ground below.

"As do I!" Zapdos said.

"Then let's get into formation and cream that sucker once and for all!" Moltres said.

The trio arranged themselves into a triangle, beaks wide open and facing each other. Balls of energy formed in their mouths; blue for Articuno, yellow for Zapdos, and red for Moltres. A red triangle formed between the orbs in the space between the birds, a triangle that grew jet black as the orbs making up its corners darkened. With a cry, the evil avians spat the black triangle at Ash, the dark Tri Attack tripling in size with every second until it became a massive geometrical formation of darkness. Ash glanced over his shoulder, sensing the sudden spike in Shadow energy, and his eyes widened in horror when he saw the triangle spinning towards him. "Oh, COME ON!" he yelled.

And as if that weren't bad enough, at that very second Lugia finished his overlong charge for Shadow Blast. "Daddy! He's going to fire! Get out of the way!" Tiny screamed.

"Where? There's nowhere for me to go that'll protect me from that attack, or the one behind me!" Ash shouted frantically, pointing to the tremendous Tri Attack chasing him.

"Um…well…okay, I got nothing," Cruise said.

"Daddy! NO!" Tiny screamed in horror as Lugia at long last prepared to fire his attack, realizing there was nothing anyone could do now to save his father…

Or was there? "Not so fast, bucko!" Captain Briney shouted as he Teleported into view along with the Goldorringtons. The four Psychics immediately grabbed the startled Lugia by the neck and forced his head upwards, tilting it away from Ash. The recoil of the Shadow Blast which went off seconds later knocked Tiny and Cruise off the dark god's wings but pushed Lugia further into the base of the bridge, imbedding Briney and his companions into the walls as well. The unstoppable attack roared towards Ash…and shot right over his head, smashing into the Tri Attack and shattering it into a billion pieces as it kept on going and slammed into the startled bird trio, sending them flying. It also destroyed a rather sizable chunk of the leg driven through the battleship, causing the vessel to tremble and the cracks to widen a bit more as vibrations from the blast exacerbated them.

Ash sighed in relief. "Phew…that was _really _close!"

Tiny gasped joyfully. "Captain Briney!"

"And, uh, those other guys!" Cruise said.

"We're 'those other guys' now? Gee, thanks," Goldor grumbled.

"Hey, we can't all be as badass or memorable as me," Briney said smugly. Goldor grunted noncommittally.

"That was a nice save, Captain!" Ash said as he ran over. "But where were you? What took you guys so long?"

"Oh, nothing much, just a few battleships trying to interrupt your battle that needed to be shown the error of their ways," Briney said as he pried himself out of the wall next to Lugia's head.

"And we showed it to them, all right…you know, it's rather amazing there's still a Nihilator battle fleet _left_, considering how many ships we've blown up or crashed since this whole crazy thing started," Silvia commented. "Where do they keep _coming_ from?"

"Who cares? The more there are, the more we can smash!" Buck said giddily.

"Hoho, that's the spirit, lad!" Briney said.

"DADDY!" Sobbing inconsolably, Tiny slammed into his father, knocking him over.

"Gah! Tiny! Careful…you're crushing me…" Ash gasped. "And digging your spines into my ribs…"

"I was so worried! I thought you'd _never_ get here! And there were so many obstacles and bad guys and meanies trying to kill you! It was almost like they were trying to draw out the last few minutes to last forever like on TV or something!" Tiny said as he nuzzled Ash, ignoring his grunts of pain.

"Yeah…it did seem a lot longer than a few minutes, didn't it?" Ash realized.

"Maybe it felt so long because you were doing so much?" Tiny suggested.

"We weren't doing a lot but it still felt like we were keeping Lugia pinned down forever…" Cruise grumbled. "Where's my Daddy?"

"On his way. I think," Ash said, prying the reluctant Tiny off of his body.

Cruise frowned. "You think?"

"Well, the last time I saw him he was beating up a bunch of Nihilators. So he should show up sooner or later," Ash said.

"Oh, all right," Cruise said.

They were startled when Lugia grunted and began to stir, struggling to pull himself out of the wall. "Oh no you don't!" Briney said, tackling Lugia and pushing with all his physical and Psychic might to try and keep the fallen god from getting up. "You aren't going anywhere!"

"And neither are we, it seems," Cruise said with a weary sigh. "Well, Tiny, looks like it's back to work."

"Yep!" Tiny said. Both Pupitars lit up with blazes of Aura and slammed into Lugia's wings, pushing them back into the indentations they'd made in the wall before the dark deity could pull them free.

"We should help too!" Silvia said.

"What? Seriously? Haven't we done enough already?" Goldor complained. "I'm _exhausted._ Can't we just watch from a safe distance?"

"Not when your son is still in the thick of it," Silvia said.

"What?" Goldor cried in alarm, seeing Buck had joined Briney and the Pupitars in holding Lugia back. "Hang on, son, I'm coming!" He and Silvia quickly flew over to the Baltoy and joined their powers with his, using all their strength to pin Lugia down.

Enraged, the dark god roared, thrashing about and releasing blasts of Shadow Aura to try and drive the pests who kept irritating him off of his body. The six Pokémon cried out in pain as the dark power washed over them, but they refused to let up. "Ash! Hurry up and purify him already!" Briney shouted. "We can only hold him back for so long!"

"Yeah, we already spent way too long doing this earlier!" Cruise agreed.

"Come on, Daddy! You can do it!" Tiny cried.

Ash nodded. "Right! Enough stalling. It's time to do this." He took a step forward…

"OH NO YOU DON'T!"

Lightning, fire, and fell from the sky, causing Ash to yelp in alarm and roll out of the way as they destroyed the spot where he'd just been standing. Ash glanced up and groaned when he saw what was coming towards him. "Okay, this is _really_ getting old…"

Articuno, Zapdos, and Moltres, looking rather badly injured from their head-on collision with Lugia's Shadow Blast, swooped down towards him, Shadow Auras and respective elemental energies fluctuating sporadically while loose feathers fell from their bodies in droves. "Old? Who're you calling old?" Articuno snarled.

"Well, to be fair, we are several million years old," Zapdos pointed out.

"Yes, but that's no reason to call us old!" Articuno retorted.

"You guys seriously want to do this now? Haven't you had enough already?" Ash demanded in exasperation.

"We've taken a pretty bad beating, that's true…but so long as you're alive and there's a chance you can purify Lugia, we can never rest!" Moltres said.

"This is our last chance to kill you and change our fate! If we let you live for even a minute longer, then our lives are at an end!" Zapdos said.

"Which is why we'll just keep coming back, no matter how badly we get hurt, until you are finally, completely, and irrevocably DEAD!" Articuno shrieked.

"And since your little friends over there are busy keeping Lugia from ripping out your throat and your other friends are…taking their sweet time getting here for some reason, there's nobody left to stop us from having our way with you! No more distractions or diversions, no more irritating interruptions, no more side battles, NOTHING left to keep us from killing you!" Moltres cackled.

"Actually, you're wrong," Briney said.

Moltres blinked. "Huh? What are you talking about?"

"There's one of us yet unaccounted for who is perfectly capable of keeping you from Ash long enough for him to do his duty. Well, more than one, actually, but only one is powerful enough to stop you, at least for a little while. Bow, NOW!" Briney shouted.

Without warning, a purple whirlwind sprang to life around the elemental trio, causing them to squawk in alarm as the super-strong and razor-sharp winds buffeted them and knocked them into each other and spun them around until they were too disoriented to fight back or tell up from down. Ash laughed in surprise. "Bow! So _that's_ where you got too! I was wondering why you weren't here with the others!"

"I was waiting for ze right moment to strike, Monsieur Ash," Bow's voice whispered on the wind past his ears. "And zat moment is now, not just for me, but for everyone! Everybody, attack, NOW!"

"With pleasure, yo!" Zippo hollered as he and the rest of Ash's friends appeared from around the other side of the Arachnoblast leg. "Solar Spirit Bomb Destroyer! Haaaaaa!" He flung a giant fireball at the birds.

"Um, I don't have a name for this attack, but it should still work," Lily said as Shadow Balls, Hexes, and fireballs materialized around her and flung themselves at the tornado. She also fired Psybeams from her eyes.

"Well done, daughter! We'll take it from 'ere!" Fantina called to Bow as several mystic circles formed around her and fired powerful energy beams into the cyclone.

"And do try not to get caught in our attack, we would be dreadfully upset if something we did were to get you hurt," Butler said, firing a Psybeam from his eye.

"I think 'upset's' the least we'd be feeling, especially after the Mistress were through with us…" Diane muttered, firing Psybeams as well.

"I will see my master avenged this day!" Bob howled, firing black lightning bolts.

"And your reign of terror over the skies will finally end!" Rose said, flapping her wings rapidly and flinging dozens of magically-enhanced Air Slashes at the birds.

"So no Bug-type will ever have to worry about being eaten by you again!" Happy said, using Bug Buzz.

"And then we'll finally be able to stop all this fighting and relax for a change until the next big thing comes up!" Salty said, flinging a Hydro Cannon.

"And I'll have the chance to mourn Vladimir in peace…" Dean murmured, spitting a Hydro Pump.

"Justice shall be done!" Sparky cried, raising his sword and calling down holy lightning.

The heroes who'd spent the last several minutes battling the legendary birds weren't the only ones to show up to lend a hand. "There have been enough deviations from my prediction already. The happy future I have foreseen will still come to pass. I will do everything in my power to make it so!" Cherry said, firing her Future Sight.

"As will I, so that I'll have plenty to eat, since I don't think I'll find much food if the world were to end!" her Gastly said, using Night Shade.

"The spirits howl for your divine blood…and I'll be happy to give it to them!" Rebecca said, summoning her wrathful spirit allies.

"This battle has gone on for long enough…it is time for it to come to an end!" Palmer said, firing a Hyper Beam.

"Hey, leave some for me, I wanted a piece of these guys too!" Ritchie said as he ran up.

"RITCHIE!" Ash and Ritchie's teammates cried in relief.

"DADDY!" Cruise cheered.

"Sorry I took so long, but I had to fight through what had to be every last remaining crewmon on board to get here! I almost broke up a sweat!" Ritchie joked.

"Huh, that's nothing compared to what _I've_ been through," Ash snorted.

"I'll believe that when I see it," Ritchie said with a smirk. "So, shall we give them a paw to finish this Aura Guardian-style?"

"Sounds good to me!" Ash said. He and Ritchie faced the tornado, cupped their paws, and with a mighty cry hurled Aura Spheres at the birds.

The two energy balls joined the other mass of attacks streaking towards the purple cyclone, colliding with the three birds trapped in the middle. The resulting explosion was spectacular, and might have even been deadly if Bow hadn't used her power over air to channel the blast upwards rather than outwards, so that it rose to the sky in a tremendous pillar of chaotic energy rather than radiating out to destroy her friends. The three birds were naturally carried up by the blast, the flames launching them up and out through the cloud cover created by the storm, flinging them far, _far_ away, until their screams became almost completely inaudible. Everyone whooped and cheered and clapped each other on the back as Bow manifested with a bit of effort and graciously bowed to the applause.

"THAT! WAS! AWESOME!" Todd yelled giddily as he swooped down to join the festivities. "Do you have any idea how many stellar pictures I got from all that? Oh mon, I have no idea how I'm going to be able to pick the best ones to submit to the paper! I bet I'll win a Pullitzer Prize for this! Mon, this is the best day EVER!"

Ash, however, did not join in on the celebrations. "That was pretty impressive, but it's still not enough to put them down," he informed them. "They're going to come back angrier than ever."

"Which is why you need to hurry up and purify Lugia so we'll be ready when they return," Ritchie said.

"Yeah, you've kind of been taking a while to get around to that, so the sooner you got over here and purify him, the better," Goldor shouted from where he and the others were still desperately trying to restrain the mad god. "As in, right now? Please?"

Ash flushed. "Oh, uh…s-sorry, I didn't mean to take this long, it's just been one thing after another, you know?"

"That's a bit of an understatement," Diane said dryly.

"Your understatement is…no, wait, it's not an overstatement, is it? Sorry, I was trying to make a 'witty quip,' Leo says every good action hero needs to be able to make one at the drop of a hat…not that I ever want to drop my hat, I like my hat," Lily said.

"Yes, it's a very nice one," Fantina complimented. "Not as nice as mine, of course."

"Oh, no, of course not," Lily said quickly. "I mean, mine's just this tatty old thing I've had for centuries, but yours is so nice and shiny and it goes great with your eyes!"

"Why zank you, dear, but you shouldn't sell yourself short, you look positively ravishing in zat chapeau, why, wiz just a few touch-ups I zink we could-" Fantina started.

"I hate to interrupt, Your Grace, but we're on a bit of a schedule here?" Butler interrupted politely. "So perhaps we could save the fashion talk for later?"

"Oh, of course. My apologies, we 'ave already delayed long enough and I wouldn't want to make zings even worse," Fantina apologized.

"That is very much appreciated, thank you!" Silvia grunted.

Cherry nodded. "Events have deviated from my original predictions already far beyond my initial parameters. Ash, if you dally in this task much longer, there's a chance we won't all make it out of this alive."

"Speaking of which…I thought you said if we stuck to your plan we'd all survive. But we did everything you told us to exactly, and now Vladimir's dead!" Bob shouted angrily.

"…I am sorry, Bob," Cherry said sadly, closing her eyes. "If everything had gone as I foresaw it, Vladimir would still be here. However, the assassins Tarantulas sent to attack us were not part of my plan. Their interference caused the future I projected to change…not that much, but just enough to allow for one of us to die. And…that someone was Vladimir."

"And you," Rebecca said.

"Well, yes, but I got better. Vlad…won't," Cherry said.

"No, he won't," Bob said quietly.

"I'm sorry that I could not have foreseen this," Cherry apologized. "As much as I like to pretend otherwise, my oracular powers are not as infallible as I'd like them to be. The fact that Tarantulas was able to find a way to circumvent them is evidence of this. I promise you, though, that I will not let it happen again."

Bob nodded solemnly. "I will hold you to that."

"And we'll hold Ash to getting the Abyss over here and purifying Lugia already! Quit wasting time!" Briney shouted.

"Okay, okay, I'm coming!" Ash said. He took a deep breath. "Right. No more distractions. Let's do this." He handed Ritchie his staff. "Here, hold onto this. I don't need it for this."

"Sure thing," Ritchie said, trying not to geek out that he was actually getting to touch an Aura Guardian's staff. He'd only read about those in his parent's books, his family had apparently used to have one long ago but it was lost to the mists of time, along with the knowledge of how to make more like it. He could already feel his Aura-senses enhancing just by _touching_ the staff…and they were already pretty strong to begin with thanks to the augmentation from his Fist Plate armor. "It'll be safe with me."

Ash smiled. "I know." He turned and walked to Lugia, who was struggling against his friends. "Lugia!" The fallen god snarled and fixed its red eyes on Ash…and paused, unsettled once again by the Lucario's presence and the…_sensation_ just being around him made him feel. He didn't like it. It frightened him. But at the same time, it…comforted him. He didn't know why. It didn't seem right. And yet…and yet it _did._ Again, the vision of flying across the seas with a human riding on his back flashed before his eyes. What did it mean? And why did thinking of it calm the rage and hatred that had festered inside of him for as long as he could remember? (Which, granted, wasn't very long at all.)

The six Pokémon restraining Lugia exchanged looks of surprise when the dark god's struggles subsided, the Shadow Pokémon mulling over the strange thoughts and feelings the Lucario stirred up in him. Ash smiled gratefully. "So…you feel it too, don't you? The connection between us? That's good. It means you aren't lost completely." His Aura started building up around him. "I'm not going to lie to you. This next part isn't going to be pleasant for either one of us. But…it's what needs to be done to save you. To heal you. To make you whole. You'll understand once this is all over."

The Lucario's words washed over Lugia. They made no sense. Oh, he understood the meaning of what the Lucario was saying, or thought he did, but it didn't make any sense. He was trying to…heal him? To save him? From what? There was nothing wrong with him. And even if there were, why would the enemy, someone he had been ordered to kill, be trying to save him? He did not understand. He should attack. He should lunge forward now that those who had been holding him down had loosened their grip and rip out the Lucario's throat. He should unleash his full Psychic powers and rip the minds of all the Pokémon around him to shreds, kill those who survived the mental blast, and feast on their remains. He should drown them all in the power of Shadow. He had done it many times already, in the service of his masters. In fact, he was fairly certain he'd been ordered to do just that to these Pokémon. Why else would he be there?

He should kill them. He should kill them all right that minute.

He did not. Instead, he just sat there, watching Ash, feeling somewhere deep down, behind the door closed over his heart, that this was the right thing to do. More right even than obeying his orders, which he's _always_ done before.

Ash closed his eyes, clasped his paws, and concentrated, the organs on the back of his head lifting as Aura built up around him. Instantly, Ash could see the Auras of everyone around him, burning with all the multitudinous radiant colors of the soul. He could see the thread of energy binding his heart to Tiny, the thread binding Cruise's heart to Ritchie's…and more than that, he was beginning to make out other threads, threads which bound everyone else together. Some were stronger and brighter and more colorful than others, but everyone was still tied by these threads…and more threads, almost too many for him to see, spread out in every direction. Most of these threads were too small and dim for Ash to notice, but others were incredibly vibrant, and Ash intuited at once that these were the bonds that tied Pokémon together, with the brightest representing the connections between friends and family and lovers, and the dimmer ones indicating links to other Pokémon, some of whom they may never have met before but were still, in some way or another, bound to.

He could also see a thread binding him to Lugia. It was much like the link between him and Tiny, but…different somehow, in ways Ash couldn't even begin to fathom. All he knew was that it existed, and that it was powerful. Equally, if not more powerful, was the twisted Shadow Aura wrapped around Lugia's body. It was bigger and darker than the one that had enshrouded Dawn, but it was a different shade of darkness, since she had been turned using the Anti-Life Equation whereas Lugia had been corrupted in a different way. Ash hoped that this, along with his connection to Lugia, would make it easier for him to purify him and open the door to his heart.

Within moments, he found the light in the darkness. He didn't know if it was due to experience, his skills having improved between now and the last time he'd done this, or his connection to Lugia, but it was surprisingly easy for him to find. It was shining for him, a silent plea for aid. And as the leader of Rescue Team Aurabolt, Ash always answered a cry for help.

His glowing eyes shot open, and Ritchie had to stifle a squeal of glee that he was getting the chance to witness a genuine Shadow purification, much to Sparky's chagrin and Zippo's amusement, since this was usually the sort of thing the Charmeleon did. "Transcend…the confines of time and space!" His Aura flared, and a glowing image of himself shot from his body and into Lugia. There was a brilliant flash of light, and then…

…

He woke up the next morning gasping for breath, eyes heavy, all but exhausted. His dreams had been so horrific that his mind had deleted them from his memory the instant he had woken up so as to keep them from permanently scarring his psyche, yet he could still vaguely remember the image of Silver screaming horribly as Lugia ripped open his chest and started feasting on the boy's innards.

His heart was heavy. He was a murderer. A monster. What had Mew and the Savior been thinking, allowing something like him to remain one of the guardians of the world after his previous failure? All he had done was speed up the process which would lead to its end, which after the events last night seemed to him to be inevitable.

After the sin he had committed, he had no chance of redeeming himself. There was only one course left for him to take.

With a weary groan, he spread his wings and took to the air. He flew around his island domain, searching for the proper place to do this deed.

He spotted a reef of jagged coral shed by Corsola in the waters surrounding the island where his son kept his toys. It would be perfect for this task.

He flapped his wings, soaring higher, higher, and still higher into the air, until the set of islands he and his family had called home seemed naught but specks on the shimmering blue sea beneath him. He folded his wings to his sides and the feathers to his back, and plunged downward.

He did not deviate from his course as he fell, only using his tail like a rudder occasionally to keep himself heading straight down as he picked up speed, dropping like a bomb towards his target. The wind rushed by him, stinging his eyes and skin. He ignored it, knowing he would soon feel much worse pain, if only for an instant.

He hit the coral at about seventy kilometers per hour, shattering it and impaling himself gruesomely in its mass, cutting him up on every inch of his body and killing him within seconds as one of the coral spikes rammed into his brain.

…

_Lugia!_

…

He woke up the next morning feeling as if he had just dropped from the skies into a bed of razor-sharp coral, but it faded and he concluded it must have been a lingering effect of his nightmares. His dreams had been so horrific that his mind had deleted them from his memory the instant he had woken up so as to keep from permanently scarring his psyche, yet he could still vaguely remember the image of Silver screaming as Lugia ripped open his chest and started feasting on the boy's innards.

His heart was heavy. He was a murderer. A monster. What had Mew and the Savior been thinking, allowing something like him to remain one of the guardians of the world after his previous failure? All he had done was speed up the process which would lead to its end, which after the events last night seemed to him to be inevitable.

After the sin he had committed, he had no chance of redeeming himself. There was only one course left for him to take.

With a weary groan, he slipped into the water, automatically lowering his eyelids and folding his back feathers to make him swifter in the seas.

He dove down to the very bottom of the ocean, ignoring any marine Pokemon that tried to speak to him, searching for something he had spotted some weeks ago during a dive for food and had warned his family to avoid ever since, because it was too dangerous. It was the perfect spot for him to do what had to be done.

He spotted it quickly. It was the only source of light in this depth, other than the bioluminescent spots or body parts of the Pokemon that lived this far underwater, where few ever traveled to. It was a volcanic fault, a result of the seismic activity caused by Groudon's recent reawakening. A dim, almost infernal glow emitted from the fault as foul-smelling bubbles and sulfurous smoke rose from it, dissipating amongst the icy cold water as it got further away from its source. Numerous Pokemon and fish, many of them eyeless as a result of living their lives in eternal darkness, gathered around the fault, drawing heat from it. A healthy colony of fungi and other non-sentient life forms had sprung up around the fault as well, a result of the warmth it emitted in this frozen pit.

Lugia circled the bubbling chasm, steeling himself for what he was about to do. Staying around the fault could give life and warmth, but getting too close would spell certain death, due to the incredible heat it generated which caused the clouds of steam and bubbles to rise from it. After all, it was filled with magma at its bottom. Only a few Fire Pokemon would be able to survive its extreme temperatures, and certainly none of them would be anywhere near the water, let alone down here at the bottom of the sea.

Lugia took one last deep intake of water against his lungs, and plunged into the fault. He was boiled alive within seconds, his body blistering and bursting from the heat as his feathers disintegrated and his skin melted off his bones.

…

_Lugia!_

…

He woke up the next morning feeling as if he had just been boiled alive, but it faded and he concluded it must have been a lingering effect of his nightmares. His dreams had been so horrific that his mind had deleted them from his memory the instant he had woken up so as to keep from permanently scarring his psyche, yet he could still vaguely remember the image of Silver screaming as Lugia ripped open his chest and started feasting on the boy's innards.

His heart was heavy. He was a murderer. A monster. What had Mew and the Savior been thinking, allowing something like him to remain one of the guardians of the world after his previous failure? All he had done was speed up the process which would lead to its end, which after the events last night seemed to him to be inevitable.

After the sin he had committed, he had no chance of redeeming himself. There was only one course left for him to take.

With a weary groan, he slipped into the water, automatically lowering his eyelids and folding his back feathers to make him swifter in the seas.

He stayed close to the surface, avoiding any Water Pokemon who tried to speak to him, not caring if any travelers saw his silhouette from their boats.

After spending a little while searching the more commercial waters near his home, he found what he was looking for: a small cruise ship full of vacationing tourists, sailing around the area while the passengers took pictures of a pod of Wailord breaching nearby, accompanied by their offspring. It was perfect for his needs.

He swam around to the back of the boat, where the whirring propellers spun and pushed the ship through the water, and thrust his head into the revolving blades.

…

_Lugia!_

…

He woke up the next morning feeling as if he had just driven his head into a boat's propeller, but concluded it must have been a lingering effect of his nightmares. His dreams had been so horrific that his mind had deleted them from his memory the instant he had woken up so as to keep them from permanently scarring his psyche, yet he could still vaguely remember the image of Silver screaming horribly as Lugia ripped open his chest and started feasting on the boy's innards.

His heart was heavy. He was a murderer. A monster. What had Mew and the Savior been thinking, allowing something like him to remain one of the guardians of the world after his previous failure? All he had done was speed up the process which would lead to its end, which after the events last night seemed to him to be inevitable.

After the sin he had committed, he had no chance of redeeming himself. There was only one course left for him to take.

With a weary groan, he spread his wings and took to the air. He flew around his island home, searching for the proper place to fulfill this last task. He saw a particularly hard, sheer cliff on the side of the island where he and his wife had mated for the first time after their resurrection and reuion and decided that would be suitable enough. If ramming into it headfirst didn't split his skull open, surely falling onto the jagged rocks at the cliff's base would finish him off.

He flapped his wings, backing up in preparation for his suicidal charge-

And an all-too familiar voice rang in his ears. "Lugia, STOP!"

Lugia faltered. He almost fell out of the sky in shock. It couldn't be. What was _he_ doing here? "Ash?" he said incredulously as the Lucario who had once been—and in some ways, still was—his Chosen One ran up to the edge of the cliff he'd been about to crash into. He had not seen the boy since his visit a few months ago with his partner Pikachu on some Rescue Mission or something, and had been gratified to see he seemed to be adapting so well to being a Pokémon…so much so, in fact, that he had decided against telling Ash what he knew of his past life and all that he had lost, knowing it might hurt him, perhaps even drive him to do what Lugia was trying to do right now… "What…wh-what are you doing here?"

"Trying to save you!" Ash said.

Lugia's face fell. "Save me? Ash, I do not want to be saved. The crime I have committed is too heinous for any forgiveness or chance at redemption. Death is the only answer."

Ash frowned. "And just what crime would that be?"

"Familicide," Lugia said glumly.

"What?" Ash said incredulously. "That's horrible! There's no way you could have done something like that! Wait, what's familicide?"

Lugia facefaulted in midair. "It means I murdered my family."

"Oh. Wait, WHAT?" Ash cried.

"I was just as surprised when it happened," Lugia said despondently. "One minute I was having dinner with my mate and Silver. And then…I don't know. A madness overtook me, and I found myself consumed with nothing but the utmost hatred, a rage that nothing could quench. I brutally slaughtered my family, and feasted on their bodies. It was only after I had violated their forms repeatedly and stripped the flesh and organs from their corpses that my sanity returned, and with it the realization of what I had done."

"Whoa…" Ash whispered, looking sick.

"You see? You are revolted by my sin, as am I. I have become a monster. I still retain some sense of reason and knowledge of right and wrong, but I do not know how long it will last, or when the darkness will take hold of me once again." He closed his eyes tightly, tears running down his cheeks. "I cannot risk this happening again. I cannot allow myself to become a mad and evil god, like so many of my peers have in the distant past, in days best forgotten. So while my mind is still my own, I must atone for my sin and remove myself from the world forever, so that none will have to suffer like…like my beloved family already has…" He glanced up at Ash, noting that the Lucario was shaking with rage. "You see? You agree with me…you understand that I must do this. I will not ask you to slay me though, Ash. I would not have my blood on your paws and another death on your conscience. I shall end my own life, so my soul is the only one to be weighted down with more sin."

"…Lugia, I'm not angry with you," Ash said through clenched teeth. "I'm angry…I'm angry at the bastards who did this to you! Who made you believe all this Tauroscrap!"

Lugia blinked in surprise. "What? What are you talking about, Ash?"

"The Nihilators! They've tricked you into thinking you did something horrible, something you didn't do, something you could _never_ do!" Ash insisted.

"The…Nihilators? I do not know who you are…talking about…" Lugia blinked, wondering why the images of an Ariados that seemed to be mostly made of metal, a deranged Sunflora wearing thick glasses, and a pillar of shadow with a void for a face flashed through his mind.

"You don't remember? No, I guess you wouldn't, would you, otherwise you wouldn't have been stuck doing this for so long…" Ash murmured.

"Doing what for so long? What are you talking about?" Lugia asked in confusion.

"Lugia, when did you kill your family?" Ash asked.

"Last night. The worst night in my entire life…and I've had a lot of bad ones…" Lugia said morosely.

"So right now, this is the first time you're trying to kill yourself out of grief and penance and all that?" Ash asked.

"Well, of course. I'd hardly make multiple attempts. If I were to kill myself, I'm pretty sure I'd get it right the first time," Lugia said, getting annoyed.

"Is that so? Then how do you explain impaling yourself on coral? Or throwing yourself into a volcanic fault? Or shoving your head into a boat engine?" Ash asked.

Lugia stiffened, more half-remembered memories flickering through my head. "I…those are…some of the nightmares I had last night. How do you-"

"They weren't nightmares, Lugia. Well, actually, they were. So is this, right here. You're trapped inside one big, long nightmare!" Ash said. "All of this is an illusion! They're making you kill yourself over and over again for a crime you didn't commit so they can keep you from realizing what you're _really_ doing, and so that your grief and anger will fuel the darkness that's enshrouding you in a continous loop!"

"An…illusion? No…no, that…that can't be…" Lugia said uneasily. "I would know if such a thing were the case…"

Ash raised an eyebrow. "Oh really? Answer me this, then: you're an immortal deity who's been around for, like, ever so far as I know, and while you've died a few times it was only from some really, REALLY big disaster or bad guy's attack or something like that, right?"

"That's right," Lugia said.

"Then why, precisely, are you trying to kill yourself by crashing into a cliff? Or shoving your head into a boat engine? Or throwing yourself into a volcanic fault? Or impaling yourself on coral?" Ash asked. "Because I'm fairly certain that none of those can kill you. Inconvenience you for a little while, maybe give you a bad headache or a little pain, yes, but not kill you."

"I…" Lugia blinked, and then frowned, his brow furrowed in puzzlement. "You're…you're right. That doesn't make any sense. It would take much more than that to kill me. Why…why _am_ I trying to kill myself this way?"

"Because it's an illusion! It's all part of the Nihilators' mind game to keep you distracted and the door to your heart closed so you won't realize that you've been turned into a Shadow Pokémon and are being used as a weapon of mass destruction!" Ash said.

"I'm a WHAT?" Lugia shouted in horror. "A…a Shadow Pokémon? No…no, that…that can't be! I can't…I can't become one of those! Not again!"

Ash blinked. "Again? You were a Shadow Pokémon before?"

"I…it's a long story. But…no, I can't be a Shadow Pokémon! The technology and knowledge necessary to create one was destroyed long ago!" Lugia protested.

"It's been recreated by an evil organization called the Nihilators, who are trying to use the power of Shadow Pokémon to conquer the world," Ash said. "And you aren't the only Legendary they've made into a Shadow, too. They've corrupted the birds, the beasts…heck, I don't know who else. They would've made Manaphy into one too, but they needed his heart untainted so he could help them control Kyogre."

"Manaphy? He's part of this?" Lugia cried in astonishment.

"Of course he is. Er, was, I kinda sorta killed him…well, Kyogre killed him, actually, but that's another story. Or have you forgotten that, too? It was Manaphy who sold you and your family out to the Nihilators in the first place!" Ash said.

Lugia's eyes widened. "Manaphy? He…he…argh!" He clutched his head in pain, the memories flooding back as if a wall inside his mind had been demolished…which is pretty much exactly what had happened. And suddenly, Lugia remembered everything.

He and his family had just finished dinner when Manaphy showed up with some of his children, looking remorseful and wanting to apologize for how he'd gotten upset anhd stormed off when Silver was picked to be Prince of the Sea over him, and had brought a gift to make up for it and show his acceptance for his future liege. Delighted that they were friends again, Silver and his parents had followed Manaphy to where he said the present was, completely unsuspecting of any ulterior motive. For why should they? They'd known Manaphy for centuries, and while he'd been exhibiting some…unseemly behavior lately, it had never crossed their minds that Manaphy might try to get revenge for losing his position or anything like that.

And then he'd sprung the trap, and they were captured by nets and force fields and electricity, and beaten and caged by dark-eyed Pokémon led by the vilest Drapion Lugia had ever encountered, and transported to…to somewhere…and then…

His memory failed him, but he remembered pain, and screaming, and those sinister figures from before: the spider, the Sunflora, and the shadow…and then…

"I-I remember," Lugia whispered. Feeling light-headed, he landed on the clifftop next to Ash and turned to look down at the smaller Pokémon, a shocked and bewildered look on his face. "Manaphy…Manaphy betrayed us. But…but why? Silver was his best friend! They've known each other for centuries! Yes, things have been a little strained between them ever since my son was chosen to replace him as Prince of the Sea, but still! To do something like _this…_"

"To be fair to Manaphy, that alone wasn't motivation for him to join forces with the Nihilators," Ash said. "However…they offered to reunite him with his Mama."

Lugia frowned. "Kyogre? But Manaphy knew exactly where to find her-"

"No, not his mother, his _Mama._ You know…the human who hatched him? My friend May?" Ash said.

Lugia's eyes widened. "Oh. _Oh_. Yes, that…that would do it. After all, what child wouldn't tear the world apart to find their mother?" He frowned. "But…if none of this is real, then that means…I didn't kill my family! Ash, do you know if-"

"If they're okay? I…honestly don't know," Ash confessed. "But I'm pretty sure if they were dead, Manaphy or one of the Nihilators would have bragged about it. Plus, considering how valuable two more Lugias would be as specimens or hostages, I can't imagine they'd kill them. At least…I _hope_ they wouldn't kill them. The Nihilators are really bad news, Lugia. They can always be counted on to do the worst thing you can imagine…or worse than that, even."

"If they wield the power of Shadow, I find that very easy to believe," Lugia said gravely. "I helped your ancestors, the ancient Aura Guardians, battle their fallen brethren, the accursed Dark Ones, in the long-ago Aura Wars. I am well aware of the depravities committed by those who have been touched by Shadow. For such a vile power to be reborn once again…" He shook his head miserably. "And now I have fallen victim to it once more. Do…do you know how long I have been like this?"

"Not really," Ash confessed. "How many times have you killed yourself in this dream?"

"More times than I can count, now that I am aware of it," Lugia said unhappily.

"It can't be longer than a few months, though, since it wasn't much more than that when I came over to see you on that Rescue Mission," Ash said. "Manaphy wasn't more specific than that, though, so I can't tell you anything else."

"A few months? Well…that's not good, but it could be worse," Lugia muttered, a grave look on his face. "But I can only imagine what horrors I could have been coerced into causing in that time…when I am purified, I will have a lot to answer for." He glanced to Ash. "And that is why you are here, correct? To purify me?" His eyes widened in horror. "Which…means I must be fighting you. And your friends. No! Have…have I hurt any-"

"No, no! You haven't killed any of my friends!" Ash assured Lugia. "They're all okay, though a little battered. You put them through the wringer, but they're all extremely resilient and know how to take a beating. As far as I know, you haven't done anything but kill a few thousand Nihilators, who won't be missed."

"That is a relief," Lugia sighed thankfully. "Still, for me to have been turned against you, the Chosen One…inexcusable! How did this come to pass? What is happening out there, in the real world?"

"My friends and I have been battling the Nihilators for a while now and trying to thwart their ambitions of world domination," Ash said. "I don't suppose you've heard of the seven Star Badges?"

Lugia started. "They are aware of the Door beneath Treasure Town?"

"I'll take that as a yes, then," Ash said.

"A select few of us legendaries were told of the Door by our superiors among the Guardians when we were tasked to safeguard this world. Only the most trustworthy were informed of its existence, hence why the three birds or the two ancients never learned of it," Lugia said. "And…these Nihilators have found out about it as well? How many Star Badges have they managed to collect?"

"Only three," Ash assured Lugia. "We have three as well, and are on our way to grab the fourth. Once we have that, we intend to head for the Nihilators' HQ to get back the remaining three and take them down once and for all."

Lugia nodded. "A good idea…do…do you know if…no, I suppose you wouldn't, you said you didn't know if they were dead or alive…"

"Your family? I don't, sorry," Ash said. "But if they were alive, Nihilator central would probably be as good a place as any to keep them."

"If that is the case…after you restore me to my true form, I will join you on your quest," Lugia resolved.

Ash started. "Wh-whoa! Really?"

"Certainly! I must make amends for the evil I have committed while under their control…and make them pay for what they have done to me and those dear to me!" Lugia snarled. "As well as finding any way to rescue my family, should they still be alive…and bringing my divine wrath on the heads of those responsible for taking them from me, if they are no longer in this world!"

"Well…okay! We'd be happy to have you!" Ash said excitedly. "And…it'd be great to work with you again…it'd be just like the other time!" He frowned. "Actually, in a way it _is_ just like the other time, because here we're up against the three birds and a madman too! Well, madmon. And he's got a giant robot spider rather than an airship. And the birds are Shadows and working for him, rather than doing their own thing."

Lugia frowned in concern. "That's right, you mentioned the birds had become corrupted…well, more corrupt than usual. Blast! I do not suppose you intend to purify them, too?"

"I…no. Not really," Ash confessed reluctantly. "I'm not sure I can. I'm not sure I'm even _supposed_ to. They, um, mentioned a prophecy…"

"…Ah. Then you are aware that you are destined to slay them," Lugia said.

Ash nodded. "Yeah. You knew?"

"I did," Lugia confessed. "Are you aware of why you are meant to kill them?"

Ash clenched his fists. "Because a thousand years ago, they murdered my mom and some of my best friends."

Lugia closed his eyes sorrowfully. "I am sorry, Ash. I should have been there. I should have stopped them."

"It's…it's all right. I know it's not your fault," Ash said, although deep down a small part of him _did_ blame Lugia, just a little. He tried to ignore it, especially since that resentment came from…the dark part of himself. The part he was working to destroy. "And…even if you had been there, I'm not sure it would have made anything better. Darkrai and Cresselia tried, and…"

Lugia grimaced. "So you are aware of…what happened to you. Your transformation. As well as…the fact that this world you live in is indeed the world of your birth, not some parallel universe, as you once surmised."

"Yeah," Ash said quietly. He closed his eyes. "But you…you knew the truth all along, didn't you?"

"I did," Lugia said sadly.

A surge of anger rushed through the Lucario, and he had to work hard to stifle it. "Then why…why didn't you tell me?" Ash whispered.

Lugia's expression turned stern. "What good would it have done you? Tell me, Ash. Now that you remember more of your past, of what really happened all those years ago…has it made you happy? Has it given you peace?"

Ash hesitated. "I…"

"I can feel the darkness stirring in you. The darkness that was born on that day, when your whole world came crashing down. So long as you did not know of the events of that day, it was dormant…but now that you are beginning to remember, the negative emotions you were infected with in that dark hour are reemerging, feeding the evil that had slumbered within you for so long," Lugia said. "And now you are at risk of letting it consume you and bringing destruction to everything you cherish. So yes, I could have told you…I even considered doing it. However, I knew that this was a burden far too large to lie on your shoulders…or at least, not just yet." He closed his eyes and sadly shook his head. "You are the Chosen One, Ash. You know what that means, and if not, I think you are beginning to. It means that much is expected of you…too much, perhaps, for any one individual to handle. I knew that one day destiny would call upon you to confront your past and everything that came with it…including slaying the legendary birds, and who knows how many other future enemies that threaten the peace of our world. When I learned that you had at long last been reborn, I resolved to tell you all I knew of your fate the next time I saw you.

"And then you came to me, you and your teammates. And I saw how happy you were. You had little to no memory of your past, found yourself in a world and body completely different from what you remembered, and had to face dangerous hazards and unruly barbarians and wild Pokémon on almost a daily basis…and you were happy. You thought that you had already fulfilled whatever destiny had brought you to our world by stopping Groudon and destroying the falling star that drove so many Pokémon mad, as well as breaking the thousand-year curse on Gardevoir, and were free to live out the rest of your life as you chose. And even though you could have been almost anything, you chose to be a hero…to follow the calling of your Lucario blood, and go on adventures to save innocent Pokémon alongside your closest friends. You had no fear of what dark secrets your past held, or what mysteries lay in the future. You wanted to know where you had come from and how to get back, but you were, by and large…content to be exactly where you were." Lugia smiled sadly. "And, when faced with such happiness…I faltered. I could not bear to shatter your innocence. I knew that sooner or later you would have to face the truth of who you were, but…there was no hurry, as far as I could see. No reason to bring the world you knew, your sense of self, to an end just yet. Surely it couldn't hurt to let you stay happy and carefree for a while longer, to live a life that was, while far from normal, a far cry from the life you live now. A life of doubt and regret, of fear and self-loathing, where you are no longer sure you can trust yourself and enemies seem to be coming at you from every direction." He closed his eyes. "I am sorry, Ash. I was weak. I just…all I wanted was for you to be happy…"

Ash blinked back tears, stunned. "Why…why did my happiness matter so much to you?"

Lugia gave Ash a surprised look. "I thought it was obvious. I have always been, and always will be, your friend, Ash. Isn't that what friends do?"

"…Yeah. Yeah, it is," Ash said hoarsely, a grin finding its way on his face.

Lugia smiled. "In fact, I…well, I suppose it doesn't matter anymore, but…after I was resurrected and learned what happened, I sought out your soul. I knew your spirit would hurt and be in need of healing, and thought that…well, that I might be able to do something about it. I even…well…" He looked away, embarrassed.

"What?" Ash asked.

"I, well, I sort of…got the idea that I could raise you as my second son. That you and Silver could grow up together as brothers," Lugia said Mareepishly.

Ash's eyes went wide. "You…you would have done that for me?"

"Of course! I…I owe you a great deal, Ash. Many powerful beings like me do. Something like that is the _least_ I could do to repay you for all you have done for us and for the world," Lugia said. His face fell. "Unfortunately, I didn't get the chance. I searched high and low and far and wide for your soul, but I couldn't find any trace of it anywhere. The Savior and the Mother double-checked all the souls they could find after the world's destruction, but you were nowhere to be found."

"It was Lord Null's fault," Ash said angrily. "After he destroyed the world, he took my soul with him. He's been experimenting on it for the last thousand years, trying to get rid of the darkness."

"What? He has? Why?" Lugia asked, looking understandably shocked.

"I don't really know," Ash confessed. "For some reason, he seems to think we're connected…and that he's beholden to me somehow. How much do you know of what happened after…you know, the 'incident?'"

"Not much," Lugia admitted reluctantly. "I died while it was happening, remember? As did almost everyone else who might have born witness to such an event or its aftermath. As such, I suppose only you, Misty, and…Null will ever truly know what happened next. Well, I suppose Uxie knows too, since he knows everything, but that's irrelevant."

"Well, Null teleported my friends and I out of the Poketropolis arena because he wanted to spare us from the end of the world or something," Ash said. "But he didn't send us far enough, since those idiot birds found us and ruined everything. After I…afterwards, he showed up before I could make things worse, somehow knocked me out of my Void state, and transported Misty and I to a secret bunker somewhere, where he said we would be safe until he was done doing…whatever, and the world was back to normal."

Lugia frowned. "He was going to restore the planet after putting so much time and energy into destroying it? But…that makes no sense."

"I was just as confused as you were when I heard about it," Ash said. "And I still don't understand why he's so obsessed with me or what our connection is. Or why he tried to get rid of the darkness inside of me. He's even implied—very strongly—that the reason I'm currently a Lucario, and wound up in the Tiny Woods near Pokémon Square with no memory is because…he _put_ me there."

Lugia gave Ash a dumbfounded look. "What? But that makes even _less_ sense!"

"He said he sent me there in hopes that I would be able to let go of the anger locked inside of me, by being surrounded by all my friends…or reincarnations of them, anyway," Ash said. "I'd have thought he'd _want_ me to be a Shadow, personally, but that seems to be the last thing he wants. Says it'd ruin his plans or something."

"Mysteriouser and mysteriouser…and you know no more than that?" Lugia murmured.

"Not really," Ash said glumly. "Just that he seems oddly _apologetic_ about everything…and he said that even though he's going to do his damndest to destroy the world again, he's going to try to make it all work out somehow."

"…Now I'm _really_ confused…" Lugia muttered.

"Well, the next time we see him, maybe we can beat the answers out of him so he'll stop giving me such cryptic TS," Ash said.

Lugia nodded. "That sounds like a good idea. But do you think you will encounter him again soon?"

"Probably, since we're going to be knocking at his front door soon," Ash said.

Lugia blinked. "Knocking…ah. I see. So he's behind the Nihilators too, is he? Hmmph. That does make a twisted amount of sense…I _thought_ that thing with a mirror for a face seemed familiar…"

"He goes by the name of Oblivion's Shadow now," Ash said. "But who or what he really is, I still don't know…despite the fact I've apparently been with the guy for the last thousand years, even if I don't remember any of it."

"Another thing we will have to ask him before we end his cancerous existence once and for all," Lugia resolved. "And speaking of answers, I do not believe you finished telling me the circumstances in which you found yourself here, pitted against me."

Ash blinked. "Huh? Oh, right. Like I said, we've been fighting the Nihilators for a while and were on our way to get the fourth badge. We've teamed up with a group of powerful wizards and other heroes to escort some escapees from the Nihilator stronghold to where the badge is being kept. They have some extremely sensitive information that can apparently blow the lid on the Nihilators' global conspiracy, as well as tell us how to reach their main hideout. Once we get to our destination—which, I've been assured, is completely safe from the Nihilators—they'll give this information to the authorities, and the world governments can start taking action against any Nihilators hiding in their midst, and we'll be able to plan our final assault on the Shadow and his cronies."

"Impressive. But I doubt the Nihilators would allow you to deliver such damning evidence unhindered," Lugia said.

"They aren't. That's why you're here," Ash said. "Yesterday they sent in one of their heavy hitters, Bellum, who tried to kill us all by creating a new Ice Age or something. We wiped the floor with her, so today they've upped the ante by sending in an entire battlefleet, Doctor Tarantulas in a giant walking fortress, the three legendary birds, and…well, you. We were able to plan for most of it in advance, but Tarantulas found a way to trick our oracle and capture me, figuring that would derail everything since he knew I was the only one who could purify you and kill the birds."

"Clearly that didn't work, since you're here now," Lugia said.

"Some of my friends managed to rescue me while everyone else tried to keep the birds—and you—occupied until I could show up," Ash said. "It took a lot longer than I would have liked, but I finally made it to you, and…well, here we are."

"Here we are," Lugia agreed. "And now that we're all caught up with current events, how do we get out of here?"

"We need to purify you by opening the door to your heart," Ash said.

"Alright," Lugia said. "How do we do that?"

"Well, it's your heart," Ash said. "You know it better than I do. If you could put your heart anywhere, where would it be?"

"…Ah. I think I know," Lugia said after a moment's thought, eyes lighting up. He crouched down and lowered his head to the ground. "Hop on. I'll take you there."

"Okay," Ash said as he climbed up the sea god's neck and onto his back. He felt goosebumps as he sat in the same spot he had ridden on way back on Shamouti Island, when Lugia had acknowledged him as the Chosen One and they had flown out together to save the world. It almost felt like he'd never left. "This feels…weird. So familiar, so…right, you know? Like this is where I'm supposed to be…"

"That is destiny you are feeling, or something akin to it," Lugia said with a smirk. "And if it feels good now…imagine what it'll be like once we awaken into the outside world, so we can do it for real, as we did in that long-ago time."

Ash broke into a grin. "I can't wait."

"Neither can I." He spread his wings. "Now…hang on!" With a few mighty flaps, he rose into the air, the clifftop swiftly shrinking beneath them. Lugia turned and started gliding through the air, the magnificent shimmering waters and lush islands of his home passing beneath them. Ash felt the grin on his face grow so wide it went from ear to ear, the wind rushing through his fur causing an exhilarating sensation to flow through his body. _I'm gonna have trouble getting off when this is all over,_ he thought giddily. _This is way too much fun! I always love flying…I wonder if there's an Aura technique that'll let me do it under my own power. That would be so cool!_

He was snapped out of his reverie when Lugia started circling down towards an especially large and beautiful isle with pristine white beaches, lush tropical forests and flowers, and magnificent rainbow-hued coral visible just beneath the surface of the waters surrounding it. Spreading the 'fingers' on his wings to increase his drag and slow them down, they descended towards the coast, alighting on the beach so gently that they barely even displaced any sand as they landed. Lugia gestured with his head towards a cave carved into a nearby rock face, almost invisible due to all the foliage and bright, colorful plants surrounding and dangling in front of it. "Come. If I'm correct, the door to my heart should be in there."

Reluctantly, Ash slid off Lugia's back. He scowled, already missing the sky…and the warmth from having Lugia right underneath him and okay he wasn't going to take that line of thought any further, it was starting to get a little creepy. "Hey, I think I remember this place," he said as he glanced around. "After that mission where I ran into you, you invited me and Pikachu back here to meet your family, didn't you?"

Lugia nodded. "Since the Orange, Sevii, and Whirl Islands were…reshaped due to the planet's reformation, my family and I decided to make our home here. It seemed as good a place as any. Beautiful, peaceful, out of the way so I don't have to worry too much about tourists or hunters or overzealous worshippers, but also close enough to the territories I am responsible for safeguarding so I don't have to commute very far to get to work, which as you might recall was a bit of a problem back in the old world that led to rather…lengthy periods of separation between me and my loved ones."

Ash made a face. "Yeah, that was pretty rough. Why couldn't Silver and your wife have just moved in with you in the Orange Islands?"

Lugia raised an eyebrow. "What, with the legendary birds living right next door? Do you have any idea how bad an influence they could be on my young, impressionable son?"

"Good point," Ash admitted.

"In any event, we made this cavern here our home. Well, technically every inch of these islands is our home, but this cave is where we spend most of our time," Lugia said. He frowned in thought. "Come to think of it, I never bothered to invite you in last time, did I? Let's remedy that. Follow me." He stomped towards the cave, leaving behind large three-toed footprints that were almost immediately erased by his tail as it swished through the sand in his wake. Ash followed alongside him.

Once they reached the cave mouth, the sea god Psychically moved away much of the hanging vines and foliage and nodded for Ash to go ahead of him. Lugia followed behind him as Ash entered, the flora gracefully falling back into place behind them. They found themselves in a large tunnel covered in very colorful images of sea life painted using a fluorescent substance that glowed brightly in the dark, making it fairly easy to see where they were going. "Did Silver make these?" Ash asked, impressed by the level of detail and skill that were present in the images.

Lugia nodded, a proud smile on his face. "He fancies himself a bit of an artist. Uses paint made from crushed-up bits of coral and special plants that grow deep in the ocean. He spends a little too much time on it, perhaps, but…eventually he's going to grow up and have to become Prince of the Sea, and I doubt he'll have quite as much free time to paint as he does now. Still, I suppose he might be able to renovate the Temple of the Sea, I've thought it could use some redecorating for centuries now."

"Um, it's going to need a bit more than that since we kinda…destroyed it…" Ash said awkwardly.

Lugia stared at Ash incredulously. "You WHAT? Ash, Samiya is one of the oldest and most sacred sites on the planet! How could you destroy it?" Lugia demanded.

"It wasn't our fault! Manaphy defiled it first by letting the Nihilators in and transforming it into a mobile oceanic base for them!" Ash protested. "We couldn't just _leave_ it like that! We were putting it out of its misery!"

"Yes you could have! You could have just killed Manaphy and the Nihilators, and left the Temple for us to fix up later!" Lugia said.

"Well, we _might_ have, if Manaphy hadn't called Kyogre in, seriously damaging its structural integrity and ripping a big hole in the bubble shield surrounding it," Ash said. "And, um, I suppose the pirates we teamed up with might have gotten a little too zealous in their looting and pillaging…"

"PIRATES? You let PIRATES into the Temple of the Sea?" Lugia bellowed.

"They were on our side!" Ash insisted. "And they weren't nearly as bad as the Nihilators! And they work for us now, sort of, since we beat their captain and all…"

"Even so, _pirates?_" Lugia yelled.

"Well, what were we supposed to do? Manaphy brought an entire ARMADA against us! And sea monsters! Lots of sea monsters!" Ash retorted. "What, were all eight of us supposed to fight against that many bad guys on our own? We had no choice but to ask the pirates for help!"

"…Well…when you put it like that, I suppose there wasn't anything else you could do…" Lugia admitted reluctantly. "But…still, there wasn't any way you could have been a little less reckless?"

"No," Ash said. "We don't do, um, whatever the opposite of reckless is."

"Of course not," Lugia grumbled. "Oh well, if the Temple was destroyed, then at least that means the Sea Crown can no longer be used for evil means. You destroyed that too, didn't you?"

"Um…if by 'destroyed' you mean took the big blue crystal things and kept them as souvenirs, then…yes?" Ash said weakly.

Lugia facepalmed. "Ash, you and I and these pirate friends of yours are going to need to have a long, _long_ talk about this once this is all over."

"Can we, uh, maybe focus on purifying you and taking out the Nihilators first?" Ash asked, trying to get things back on track.

Lugia sighed. "I suppose we should. Come on, what we're looking for is just up ahead."

He led Ash further down the tunnel. More and more colorful images of sea creatures covered the walls, and Ash began to feel as if they had somehow been transported underwater. The cool blueness of the surrounding stone, the dampness in the air, and the sound of the crashing tide echoing through the passage. "So…a cave, huh?" Ash said after a moment, trying to break the tense silence. "Not exactly the kind of place I'd expect a family of gods to live."

"We've never really felt comfortable living in temples or elaborate palaces…although I suppose Silver will have to get used to one once he's older," Lugia said. He glared at Ash. "And once we get him a new temple to rule from." Ash rolled his eyes. "We're satisfied with the simpler things in life. A nice, habitable cave with access to the ocean or a deep sea trench are good enough for us."

"Ah, so you prefer roughing it, like most Pokémon that don't care for cities," Ash said.

"Well, not entirely. We aren't _completely_ uncivilized. We try to keep in touch with the times a little bit," Lugia admitted. "The wife loves her shows, and Silver spends a little too much time playing online games with people we've never met for my liking." Ash blinked. He wondered if Leo might have met Silver online and never known… "Just a little further, and…ah, here we are. Welcome to my humble abode!"

Ash, who had been busy wondering what sort of screenname Silver might have used for himself and whether or not he had been playing any age-inappropriate games (Well, technically he couldn't be, since he was older than pretty much everyone else who played those games, but was he _emotionally_ mature enough for them?), blinked and did a double-take when he realized where they had wound up. "Whoa…it's…"

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Lugia said with a chuckle as he gestured grandly out with his arm, taking in the entirety of the subterranean lake they found themselves in. A vast shimmering body of water stretched out before them in every direction, filling the entirety of the domed cavern they had just entered. The lake's waters were still and crystal-clear, allowing a perfect view of the myriad rock and coral formations in hundreds of brilliant hues and fascinating shapes and sizes littering the floor of the lakebed deep below them, each so masterfully shaped it was hard to tell if they had formed that way naturally or if they had been carved by the lake's occupants over time. It was possible that the answer was both. Numerous tunnels dug into the sides of the lakebed wound away deeper into the cave system, with runic images carved around them that probably indicated which tunnel went where. The lake was lit from above and below; light was generated by the luminescent coral and aquatic plants littering the lakebed, along with numerous shells and crystals and glittering bits of sand and jewels; while more light shone down from the paint making up the intricate mural covering the entirety of the ceiling, stretching all the way down the walls to the edge of the water "Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home."

"There's nothing humble about this place!" Ash remarked in amazement, staring up at the mural high above them. It depicted numerous scenes of maritime wonder, done in a stylized format that, while being somewhat simplified and childlike (unsurprising, given they were made by a child, albeit a several hundred-year old one), still managed to capture the essence and life that inspired these images. There were displays of various species of Water Pokémon frolicking in the deep, vistas of underwater cities far larger and grander and more vibrant than many of those that could be found on the surface world, majestic seascapes and rock formations and subaquatic mountains, and even a few pictures of different kinds of ships from various periods of history (all of which Silver had lived through, obviously) sailing across the open seas to destinations unknown. In the center of the mural, at the apex of the cavern's dome, was a heartwarming image of the Lugia family flying above an island which Ash believed to be the one they were currently inside. "This is _incredible!_ And I've complimented your son's art already, right? Because this is amazing! None of _my _kids have anywhere near this much artistic talent! Tiny no longer has any hands or fingers he could use, Junior gets paint on everything but the canvas, Sapphire can't do much more than cover herself in paint and roll or bounce to use it due to her body shape, and Collette…well, she loved to finger paint when she was a Togepi, but she seems to have grown out of it."

"Well, my son _has_ had a little more time to practice his craft," Lugia said, more than a hint of pride in his voice.

"Why didn't you bring us here before? We would've loved to see all this!" Ash said.

The sea god's face fell. "…Because when I made this place, I built it with you in mind."

Ash blinked. "Huh?"

"Do you not remember? I told you that after the great rebirth, I searched for your soul in hopes that I could raise you as my own, to heal the scar in your heart," Lugia said sadly. "When at first I wasn't able to find you, I was concerned but not overly worried; after all, there'd been a big shake-up for everyone what with all life on Earth ending and the planet exploding and all, so it was understandable that it might take a little while for every soul to reincarnate. So I asked Darkrai to let me know when your spirit showed up so that we could resurrect you as a Lugia, and proceeded to build a home that would be suitable for my entire family…including you." He pointed at one of the tunnels on the lake floor, one that looked as if it had not been used for a very long time. "That passage leads to the set of chambers that would have been your own, had you grown up beside Silver. I kept it neat and tidy all these years so that you could use them as soon as you were reborn…but when time passed and days turned to months and months turned to years and years turned into _centuries_ and there was still no sign of you, I realized something was wrong."

Lugia closed his eyes and looked away. "I searched and I searched for you, Ash, in the realms of both the living and the dead. But no matter where I looked, or who I asked, I could find no trace of you. Eventually I realized that wherever you were, you weren't coming back, or at least…not for a very, very long time. Long enough for any dreams I had of raising you as my son to fade away." He sighed. "I probably should have destroyed the caves I made for you, or at least used them for something else after I realized you weren't coming…but some small, foolish part of me still clung to the hope that one day, eventually, you'd find your way to me." He looked back at Ash. "When I heard that you were reborn just last year, I was elated. Finally, my long wait was at an end! I could make up for not being able to save you and your friends all those centuries ago. I could give you the family and home you needed to recover from the torment of your past. I could be your friend and protector…and more, if you would have let me.

"And then you came here, and I realized what a fool I had been. I had projected so many of my hopes on you, my desperate need for redemption, my guilt and sorrow for failing you, the affection I have always felt for you as the Chosen One…that somewhere alone the way I had forgotten you were your own person, and had your own dreams and your own life, and that it might not coincide with my plans for it. I saw that you had already claimed a family and friends and carved a niche for yourself in Pokémon Square, and realized that you belonged there, with them…and not here with me, an old fool who didn't know when to let go of a fantasy." He paused. "Well, that and you aren't a species of Pokémon that can breathe water. That kind of put the kibosh on any plans I might have had for you to move in. I mean, yes, you could have worn an Aqualung constantly, or built a house outside, but that would have made things awkward."

"That's one word for it, yeah," Ash said, looking at Lugia in surprise. "I…hadn't realized you felt so strongly about me."

"How could I not? Our destinies are intertwined. They have been even before either of us was born," Lugia said. "Eons ago it was foretold that one day the two of us would ride into battle together against the greatest enemy of all…the Chosen One and the Silver Guardian, the Hero of Aura and the Beast of the Sea. I loved you even before Arceus and Mew breathed life into your soul. I loved you when we truly met for the first time, and rode out to save the world from the chaos Lawrence III had unleashed. I loved you from afar as I watched you grow from a boy into a fine young man over your many adventures. I loved you even as I waited, anxiously, for your return…knowing that one day you would be back, and that I would be right here when you needed me." He smiled sadly. "I was…looking forward to having you as a son."

Ash considered this for a moment, then smiled and looked up at Lugia. "I don't think I would've minded much having you for a dad."

Lugia's smile grew more genuine. "That…thank you, Ash. That means a lot to me."

Ash chuckled. "Yeah, well…this is where I'd have lived if things had been different?"

Lugia nodded. "Indeed. You would have had a home and a family. However…" He smiled and looked at Ash. "You seem to have found those on your own, and what's more, some good, loyal friends. And I honestly can't say that you would have turned out better if you had wound up with me rather than with them."

Ash gave Lugia a surprised look. "Really? You think so? Even with…you know, all the baggage I'm carrying at the moment?"

"That baggage would still exist even if I had raised you, and there is in truth no guarantee that I would have been able to help you with it…although I would have tried," Lugia said. "But think of this. If you had lived with me, you would never have met all the friends you have now, or at least not until you were far older than they, and you would not have Pikachu for a brother, or all your adopted children, or a family and group of friends half as large as the one you have. All the Pokémon you've saved in your position as a Rescue Team leader or Aura Guardian would have either been saved by someone else…or, more likely, died. With that in mind…can you say it would have been better if you had wound up with me instead of in Pokémon Square?"

"…Huh. No. No, I don't think it would have been," Ash agreed. He frowned. "Then again, it might have been after all…we'll never know for sure."

"I suppose not," Lugia agreed. "There is no point in dwelling on what might have been. Especially not when we have the more important matter of the future to deal with…and speaking of which…" He glanced at Ash. "I believe it is time we went about purifying me, correct? Your friends need us."

"Huh? Oh, right," Ash said. "Well, we need to find and open the door to your heart."

"Which is why we are here," Lugia said, gazing upward. "Home is where the heart is, and this is my home, so it should be somewhere around…ah. I think I see it." He lowered his neck for Ash again. "Come. It is time to return to the waking world."

Ash happily climbed back onto Lugia's back, and with a flap of his wings the sea god rose into the air, flying towards the apex of the ceiling and the painted image of his family stretched across the top. Ash tensed slightly, worried they were going to crash, but as Lugia approached he slowed his ascent until he hovered in place just beneath the image. Ash squinted as he looked up, and he suddenly realized that there was a door carved into the ceiling, with the painting of the Lugia family covering it and making it almost impossible to see unless you knew exactly what you were looking for. There was a small rock formation shaped like a doorknob coming from the area Silver's chest was painted over, with a tiny heart-shaped keyhole right underneath it that emitted a sliver of beautiful silver light. "So _that's_ where it was…" Ash murmured.

"As good a place as any to put it, I think," Lugia said, reaching out and grasping the knob. "So…let us return to the real world, Ash. We are needed there."

He twisted the knob and flung open the door.

And then there was light.

…

Everyone staggered backwards in surprise as abruptly a huge pillar of blue Aura erupted around Ash and Lugia, obliterating the bridge tower behind them and rising into the heavens while also punching through the bottom of the ship and smashing into the ground hard enough to shatter it, the force it generated strong enough to fling away the startled Pokémon that had been clinging to Lugia's form and causing the entire battleship to rock. The myriad cracks in the ship's midsection widened and grew deeper, and finally gave way, the entire vessel finally giving up the ghost and beginning to break apart. "Wh-what's happening?" Dean cried in alarm.

"And why do I feel oddly invigorated despite being in the middle of a large explosion?" Silvia asked, perplexed as to why she felt so…_well._ Better than she had for a while, in fact. She looked over her body and was amazed to note that all the various nicks and scratches and dents she had accumulated over the last hour or so had disappeared, and her silver body had regained its usual sheen. "Oh…oh my! This is unexpected…"

"As is this! Just look!" Briney laughed ecstatically, pointing at his face. "My mustache grew back! It's a miracle!"

"Wonderful! Simply wonderful!" Goldor enthused, privately thinking, _Blast! Now my mustache is no longer the most fabulous one around! Dash it all, why'd that magical healing blast have to go and fix that, too?_

"How…what is…what is going on?" wondered the mystified Todd, so astonished he actually forgot to take a picture, but only for a second.

"It's Daddy!" Tiny said excitedly. "He's purifying Lugia!"

"So _that's_ what it looks like," Ritchie whispered in awe. "Is it usually this…dramatic?"

"Well, it wasn't anything like this when we purified Dawn or Tiny," Lily said in concern. "You don't suppose something's…gone wrong, do you?"

"No way! Daddy has everything under control! I can feel it!" Tiny said firmly.

"Daddy, you can do that too, can't you?" Cruise asked Ritchie.

"What? Um…yeah, I guess…maybe someday…" the armored Lucario said uncertainly.

"I 'ave lived for many years, and seen many wonders…but zis? Zis is somezing new, somezing breaztaking," Fantina said in awe. "_Tres magnifique!"_

Abruptly, the ship started trembling, and the ground shuddered and dropped beneath them, sharply tilting down by several degrees and forcing everyone who wasn't floating to scramble to keep from falling over or sliding off the sides. "Oh, snap! This thing's coming apart!" Zippo shouted as fissures zigzagged across the deck, huge chunks of metal breaking off and tumbling to the ground below, leaving gaping holes in their wake. "We've gotta bug outta here, mon!"

"What was that about bugs?" Happy asked sharply.

"It's a figure of speech, yo!" Zippo said in exasperation.

"Although I'm not entirely certain I understood what he just said, I must agree with Zippo, Your Grace. We should get out of here, it's not safe," Butler said to Fantina. The others nodded, nobody wanting to stand around and wait for the ship to crumble away beneath their feet. Those of them who had feet, anyway.

Fantina nodded. "I concur. Let us depart post'aste!"

"What? No! We can't leave! What about Daddy?" Tiny cried in alarm.

"Yes, we can't just leave Ash! He's still in there!" Lily protested.

"Kiddos, trust me when I say that our boy Ash will be all right. I rather doubt he's going to die so easily, especially after everything else he's gone through recently," Briney said.

"…I'm at least two hundred years older than you," Lily said. Briney ignored her.

"Tiny, Lily, trust me when I say that Ash will be all right," Cherry said.

"Like Vladimir was supposed to be all right?" Bob grumbled darkly. Cherry ignored him.

"There is nothing more we can do for him now except get out of here before the ship is destroyed with us on it," the oracle continued. "The battle is going to be resumed very shortly, so we should get out of the way so as not to interfere. The next phase of this conflict is between Ash, Lugia, and the legendary birds, and we'll just get in the way."

"…Well…all right. If…if you really think so…" Lily said uncertainly.

"I do," Cherry said firmly.

"Then…come on Tiny, let's go. Ash will be okay," Lily said reluctantly.

"O-okay," the Pupitar said hesitantly.

"All right zen," Fantina said, taking charge. "Everyone, move out!"

"Oh, you might want to throw that staff you're holding onto into the big blue pillar, by the way," Cherry said to Ritchie as everyone started fleeing the battleship in an orderly manner, with flyers carrying those who couldn't get off under their own power.

"Huh? This?" Ritchie said, looking at the staff Ash had asked him to hold onto.

"Yeah. In another minute or two, he's going to need it more than you," Cherry said.

"…Well…all right," Ritchie said, somewhat reluctant to let go of such a rare and valuable piece of Aura Guardian history. He had no way of knowing if he'd ever get an opportunity to hold a real Aura staff again…

But it wasn't his to keep, so he had no right to hang onto it any longer than necessary. Setting his face into a determined expression, he turned and threw the staff into the pillar of Aura, the scepter vanishing in the sapphire blaze. "Very good," Cherry said.

"Daddy, come on! We have to get out of here!" Cruise said urgently as the ship's shaking increased ominously.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" Ritchie said, running over to his son and leaping into the air, grabbing onto some of the spiky protrusions growing from the Pupitar's sides and dangling from his underside. "Okay, let's get out of here!"

Cruise jetted away from the dying ship as fast as he could, quickly catching up to the others (and breezing past Todd, who was flying backwards so he could keep taking pictures). As they left it behind them, the derelict entered its final stage of collapse. The ship broke in two right down the middle, where the Arachnoblast's leg had pierced it, the two halves falling towards the ground below. The front half remained largely in one piece—until it hit the ground, anyway, and debris and shrapnel flew everywhere—but the second one fractured into dozens of smaller pieces before it even crashed, the stress from all the damage done to it by Lugia's impact, the battle between Outlaw and the Arachnoblast's head, and the pillar of Aura still rising straight upwards into the sky, causing it to disintegrate before the eyes of the escaping Pokémon.

The pillar of Aura continued burning strongly, however, unfazed and unfaltering in the slightest despite the ship's demise. This was naturally of some concern to Articuno, Zapdos, and Moltres as they finally made their way back to the battlefield, eyes widening in horror as they realized what had happened in their absence. "NO! We're too late!" Articuno screamed.

"No! We can't be! I won't accept defeat!" Zapdos shrieked.

"Whatever's going on isn't finished yet! Maybe if we attack now, we can kill both of them!" Moltres agreed.

Driven by desperation, they opened their mouths, pooled their power, and spat another dark Tri Attack at the pillar of Aura. The black triangle spun through the air, leaving darkness in its wake as it surged towards the tower of blue flames…

And then, without warning, the tower exploded, releasing a blast of blue Aura that vaporized the Tri Attack, smashed into the birds with enough force to send them flying, buffeted the Arachnoblast and any battleships nearby, and washed over the heroes in a surprisingly gentle wave that left them all feeling refreshed and at ease. It also tore open a massive hole in the storm clouds overhead, allowing sunlight to stream through and illuminate the shattered desert floor below (as well as forcing Bob and Dean to hiss in alarm and frantically hide behind their larger teammates, so as not to get burned by the Sun). It also illuminated the figure hovering in place at the epicenter of where the pillar of Aura had just been standing…or rather, _figures_, since there was more than one.

One of them was Lugia, but he was no longer a terrifying creature of Shadow but a holy servant of light. His dark purple and gray skin had regained its silver-white and dark blue hue, his fangs and claws and eye crests had shortened, and his red eyes had turned black. On his back stood Ash, holding his staff before him with a confident and determined look on his eyes and a serious expression on his face. With the sunlight shining down on him like Arceus' own blessing, he looked every inch the Chosen One, a legendary hero riding into battle atop a divine steed to smite the forces of evil. His friends and allies, both hovering a safe distance away and looking out from their train cars, stared in awe, feeling as if they were witnessing a legend unfolding right before their eyes…which was, to be fair, exactly what was happening.

"Ash…oh…oh my goodness…" Lily murmured.

"Daddy…" Tiny whispered.

"Huh. Well, blow me down…" Briney muttered.

"Okay, forget what I said before. Zat was _tres magnifique,_ zis is…_tres magnifiquer!_" Fantina declared.

"I'm not sure zat's a word, Mama," Bow said.

"I'm not sure I care," Fantina said. Bow sweatdropped, and Butler and Diane chuckled.

"…Ritchie. Dude. You're gonna have to think of some totally rad way to one-up Ash, because seriously? Dangling from the underside of your adoptive kid isn't nearly as cool as riding on the back of a freaking GOD," Zippo said.

"Hey!" Cruise shouted.

Ritchie flushed. "Well, it's not my fault my Plate doesn't let me generate a mode of transport like yours or Sparky's does…"

"It's just as beautiful as I foresaw…incredible…" Cherry whispered.

"I'm so wowed I think I've even forgotten how hungry I am!" her Gastly said. "Oh, wait, I just reminded myself. Never mind."

"The spirits are…overjoyed," Rebecca said. "This is a moment they seem to have been waiting a very, very long time for…and I can see why!"

"Remarkable…simply remarkable!" said Silvia.

"Why is Lugia associated with silver? He looks more whiteish to me," Buck said. "Unlike Mom. Who's, you know, actually covered in silver."

"Eh, it's just one of those things, son," Goldor said vaguely.

"I'd probably enjoy this a lot more if it weren't for all the sunlight," Dean cringed, hiding behind a sunscreen created from several dozen of Happy's shed skins.

"Indeed," Bob said, now able to fly thanks to his evolution. He closed his eyes sadly. "Master…why couldn't you have been here to see this with us?"

"He wouldn't have been able to see it either, too much sun," Dean pointed out.

"Yes, but he'd still _be_ here," Bob said glumly. Dean nodded sadly.

"We've seen so many amazing things since our journey started, haven't we?" Rose asked.

Happy nodded. "There's always something new around every corner…I'm glad I came rather than staying in the forest back home. Otherwise I would never have gotten a chance to see something like this…or spawn as many new children as I have." Rose sweatdropped.

"Heh…maybe we should think about making some of our own some day, babe?" Zippo joked.

Rose flushed. "Z-Zippo!"

"What? You can't say the thought hasn't occurred to you too! And besides…we GOTTA have kids someday, so that we can tell them about what we saw here today!" Zippo said.

"…Yeah. We do, don't we?" Rose murmured, a smile forming on her face. Lily frowned as she heard this, recalling her current relationship status with Leo…and her…reluctance to take things much further. Leo said he understood, but…was this the wrong thing to do?

Sparky made the sign of the Wheel over his chest. "Praise Arceus…for without Your mercy and wisdom, such a miracle would surely never have occurred."

"Uh, yeah, what you just said," Salty said.

Palmer folded his arms and said nothing, content to simply watch. Todd sniffed and shook his head despondently. "No photograph I took would ever be able to capture even a _fraction_ of this beauty…" He paused, then took a picture, peeled it off his tongue and stared at it for a moment. He brightened instantly. "No, wait, I was wrong, this one looks pretty good."

"Incredible…I'm glad I lived long enough to see this…" the Ampharos chief engineer said, wincing as another heart palpitation shot through her due to all the energy she'd fed to her engine to keep it running this long.

"Yeah, me too," the Magneton engineer said, unaware of the hidden meaning behind her statement, assuming she was just talking about how they'd managed to survive the battle this long. The Aron engineer, who was starting to get suspicious, frowned at his boss but said nothing.

"Wow…" George whispered from her place on Outlaw's shoulders as the Decepticon climbed down the Arachnoblast's limp neck towards its dangling head.

"Meh," Sam and Outlaw said, unimpressed.

Ash's other friends, not present at the site of the purification due to their very important mission which will be explained in detail next chapter but still able to see what was going on, were similarly impressed.

"Huh. That's new," Looker said.

"Heh. Not bad for a rookie," Bruno joked.

"Oooh," said the Haunter guard.

"You know, now I'm wondering if we should have joined those guys out there after all, then we could have seen that from the front row!" his Grumpig partner said.

"Yeah, but then we'd also be right at the front-lines, where it's easiest to get killed," the Haunter said.

"Oh yeah. Good point," the Grumpig said.

"_Santa Maria…E cosi bello!_" Lu gasped, shaking her head in awe. "_Mi amore..._how lucky you must be to bear witness to such a sight…"

"Incredible…" Sasha murmured. "The probability of a disaster occurring has just dropped from absolute certainty to almost zero! I haven't seen anything like it since the time we convinced Rayquaza to destroy the falling star!"

_Yeah, that's divine intervention for you,_ Darkrai said. _Mine's not quite as flashy…still damn potent, though!_

"Duuuude…" Leo drooled. "So…shiny…so…_jealous…_"

Pikachu smirked and shook his head ruefully. "Oh, Ash…I knew you could do it. I never had the slightest doubt that you would find a way. Good job…brother."

"Ugh…can someone get the number of the ship that just hit me?" Articuno moaned as she regained her balance.

"What…what was that?" Zapdos grunted.

"I…I think it was…" Moltres trailed off when she saw what was floating before them, bathed in the sunlight. "No. No! !"

"Yes," Lugia said with a savage grin. "Very _much_ yes."

"This is something that's been a thousand years coming," Ash said calmly, giving the birds a level gaze. "Call it justice. Call it vengeance. Call it whatever you want. But right here, right now, this moment…this moment you've been fearing and dreading for a whole millennium…has finally arrived.

"Today…is the day you die."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" the birds cried in unison.

"Yes," Ash said in a calm quiet voice that somehow managed to drown out and overwhelm the evil trio's screams of indignation and terror. "Lugia?"

"Yes, Chosen One?" Lugia asked.

"Let's do this," Ash said.

"With pleasure!" Lugia snarled.

And with that, together they shot forward to meet their destinies.

…

And that's a wrap. Wow. Three whole months to write this. I sure hope the next one won't take this long.

Speaking of the next one, in that we'll finally absolutely without a doubt end this monumentally overlong battle. (I hope.) And it'll be even more awesome than everything you just read here. (I hope.) So, until then, I hope you enjoyed this, and pray with all your hearts that I can somehow find the time to finish chapter 57 before 2012.

Until then, enjoy!


	57. The Power of One redux

Well, that was a short almost-two-month wait! At long last, here's the absolutely last part of the ginormous super-battle, after which we can FINALLY move on with the plot, and maybe get started on a new arc, which we are long overdue for. I honestly did not expect to be stuck on this one for so long. It just goes to show you how rarely things go to plan. Anyway, we've all waited too long for this, so here it is: the conclusion you've been waiting for, and just in time for the New Year, too! Enjoy!

…

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

While George continued gawking at the awe-inspiring sight of the purified Lugia and Ash facing down the three terrified evil legendary birds, the Decepticon Outlaw kept her focus on more important matters; namely, not losing her grip while climbing down the dangling neck of the immobile Arachnoblast. While the walking weapon was currently inert, the veteran warrior knew too well from experience that you should never count a giant robot out unless it's either completely in pieces or has exploded, and since the Arachnoblast had done neither, that meant it was only a matter of time before the Nihilators inside managed to get it running again, which, considering her current position, would probably be a bad thing for her or her cargo (she refused to think of them as 'passengers') if that were to happen while she was still hanging from it. That meant if she was going to decapitate the thing's head and claim it as a trophy to present to Lord Megatron as proof of her combat prowess, she'd have to do it now, while the Arachnoblast was still dormant.

And if she was lucky, maybe she could bring back the remains of that noxious arachnid, too. It wasn't like they could possibly learn much from the madmon's sadly outdated tech, but if cleaned up properly his corpse would look good dangling from her wall. Or maybe she could clean out the organic parts and retrofit the remaining body to turn into a fully automatized pet! She'd always wanted one of her own, and while she supposed Sam and Max technically counted, she would prefer one that didn't talk back or leave hair and bits of food all over her interior in vehicle mode. And she could have all sorts of fun with a little robot spider of her own, like feed molemen to it, and play Fetch using Max, and hide it under Bosco's bed and see if it scared him to death, and have it chase Sam Jr. around the White House, and take it on walks through the city and laugh as it ran around terrorizing the squishies, and cuddle it in the long, lonely nights in the motor pool when everyone else had gone to bed and she had nobody else to talk to other than those moronic artificial stupidities in C.O.P.S.

As these and similar Spark-warming thoughts filled her processor, bringing a smile to her face as she continued her downward climb, it's understandable how disappointed she was when she reached the dangling cockpit, peeked in through the rather large hole blasted through the front, and saw that there was no sign of Doctor Tarantulas anywhere inside. She glanced downwards, her vision magnifying to examine the pile of charred bodies lying on the desert floor directly underneath her to see if the Ariados' body might have fallen out with the other dead Nihilators when the Arachnoblast's head stopped flailing about, but the only metal she could detect were the remains of those *shudder* Scraplets. She scowled as her dreams of having a pet to call her own went up in smoke, much like the memory of peace on Cybertron. _**"The arachnid isn't here,"**_ she growled sullenly.

"What? Really?" George asked, reluctantly pulling herself away from the holy spectacle above her and looking into the empty cockpit in puzzlement. "Huh. That's weird. Maybe he fell out?"

"No, I don't see any trace of him down on the ground with the other bodies," Sam said, using the zoom feature on his cannon to scan the pile of corpses for metal. "That means he must have escaped somehow…"

"But where to?" George wondered.

"_**And how do I get in there to gut him and salvage his chassis to turn into a pet?"**_ Outlaw asked.

There was a pause. "What was that last part-" George started.

"_**You heard nothing!"**_ Outlaw snapped.

"Right. Nothing. Certainly didn't hear you saying you wanted to make a pet out of Doctor Tarantulas…" George murmured.

"_**I do **_**NOT **_**want to turn Doctor Tarantulas into a pet, I want to kill him and harvest his mechanical parts to rebuild into a Sparkless drone companion whom I can hunt alongside, use in battle, and engage in recreational activities with,"**_ Outlaw said.

"Ah," George said.

"_**It's a common practice on Cybertron," **_Outlaw said defensively. _**"You know, what with the scarcity of resources due to the millennia-long war having killed off most of our planet's indigenous wildlife."**_

"I never said it wasn't," George said.

"_**Well. Good,"**_ Outlaw said awkwardly.

There was a pause. George frowned. "Wait, indigenous wildlife? I thought your world was a robot planet."

"_**It is,"**_ Outlaw said.

"Then how can you have indigenous wildlife?" asked the confused George.

"_**Simple, it was produced in factories like everything else,"**_ Outlaw said. _**"Until we tore the factories apart for spare parts."**_

"Oh," George said. She fidgeted. "So, uh, why don't you already have a pet, then?"

Outlaw sulked. _**"All the good drones get taken by more senior Decepticons, leaving neophytes like me with the bottom of the barrel to draw from, and all of **_**those**_** are completely unworthy of a warrior as mighty as myself. And they keep running away. I tried chaining one to keep it from going anywhere, but it gnawed its own leg off to escape. Died of Energon loss, naturally. What a waste."**_

"Riiiiight," George said slowly.

"_**I asked Soundwave for advice, since he's always got so many symbiotes hanging off of him that I figured he might know a thing or two about being a good pet-owner, but apparently those are his kids or something,"**_ Outlaw continued without being asked.

"Oh?" George said faintly, feeling completely out of her depth.

"_**Yeah, which I thought was kinda weird, because, you know, what kind of Decepticon has progeny so small? That he keeps in a compartment in his chest? Kind of screams 'pedophile,' you know?"**_ Outlaw went on. _**"Of course, nobody dares say anything like that, not even behind his back, because those brats of his are always spying on us from hiding places too small for most Decepticons to fit in or even check, and because Soundwave himself is supposed to be telepathic or something so knows if people are talking slag about him."**_

"…Wait, how can a robot be telepathic?" asked the confused George.

Outlaw shrugged. _**"Pit if I know. He just is. And even if he weren't, he's the chief Communications Officer and third-in-command of the Decepticon army, and it's generally not a good idea to go around spreading rumors about someone as high up in the rankings as that if you value your Spark."**_

"Ah," George said, wondering why the Abyss Outlaw was telling her all this.

"_**I've always thought it a little odd that he's only **_**third**_**-in-command personally, since he's one of the most fanatically loyal Decepticons without being driven to semi-religious fervor like that idiot Lugnut, so Lord Megatron KNOWS he can always be counted on, but for some reason Lord Megatron keeps Starscream as his second-in-command instead. Despite Starscream repeatedly trying to kill him. None of us really know why, but we're sure Lord Megatron must have his reasons,"**_ Outlaw said.

"I heard it's because he's madly in love with Starscream," Sam commented.

"_**THAT IS A FILTHY AUTOBOT LIE AND YOU KNOW IT!"**_ Outlaw screamed.

"Then why is there so much slash fanfiction about those two?" Sam asked. "I mean, come on, the romantic subtext in some continuities is so blatant you have to wonder if the writers were purposefully trying to make them sound like a couple-"

"_**I am turning off my auditory receptors in your cockpit so I no longer have to hear any of your lies!" **_Outlaw shrieked, muting Sam. Undeterred, Sam started typing something into his cockpit's computer. _**"Hmm? What are you…no. NO! You are NOT writing Starscream/Megatron slash on my computer! I swear, Sam, I WILL eject you if you don't cut it out this instant, do you hear me?"**_

Sam glanced up from his computer and mouthed, 'Sorry, I can't hear you since you turned off the auditory receptors in here,' then went back to his writing. Outlaw screamed in fury and ripped off bits of jagged metal from the edge of the hole in the front of the Arachnoblast's cockpit as steamy descriptions of her lord and master and his traitorous lieutenant 'doing it' flashed through her processor.

George facepalmed. "Weren't we supposed to be looking for Doctor Tarantulas?"

…

Speaking of which…

"Doctor on the bridge!" a loud-mouthed Furret shouted as Doctor Tarantulas entered the Arachnoblast's auxiliary bridge deep in the bowels of the mechanized fortress.

The other Nihilators around the room, who had been busying themselves at various consoles and maintenance panels, quickly stopped whatever they were doing and stood to attention, saluting the cyborg Ariados as he strode across the chamber, followed by Viers, who was rolling Chobin's ball before him. "Wheeeee!" the Sunflora squealed giddily.

"Hmmph. At ease," Tarantulas grunted, his foul mood at having his command deck destroyed with him in it and being forced to climb vertically up several dozen meters while dragging Chobin and Viers behind him lightening somewhat from the speedy response this bunch of lackeys had taken to show him the respect he deserved. They certainly seemed a sharper bunch than the last crew he'd had. "Vhat is our status?" he asked as he crawled up the wall and lowered himself on metal thread from the ceiling, generating more thread as he began to weave a web to sit in. His spider minions crawled out of hatches all over his body and busied themselves helping him make his web faster.

"Well, as you can see, sir, we've been working double-time to get this place fully operational in time for your arrival," the highest-ranking Nihilator present, a Shiftry, said as he gestured around the room. It was much smaller and cramped than the lofty control room Tarantulas had been forced to vacate, and the instruments looked somewhat less fancy and impressive. Not all of the paneling had been finished, so there were exposed wires and circuits on several walls and parts of the ceiling, and thick bundles of cables zigzagged across the floor. The monitor taking up the front wall was big, but not quite as large or nice-looking as the one in the cockpit had been, and Tarantulas found himself doubting its picture would have as high a quality. All in all, it looked pretty much how you'd expect a secondary control room to look like: not as nice as the main one. "We're happy to report that we've finished the last of the adjustments necessary to turn this room into the new nerve center for the entire Arachnoblast. All the fortress's systems, be they offensive, defensive, sensory, computational, or motility in function can be controlled from this room, and in turn by you, since you have a wireless link to our computers."

Tarantulas shook his head. "My vireless link is down, I zink it got broken vhen ze main control room vent kablooie."

"Well, that's a problem easy enough to fix," the Shiftry said, gesturing to a Nuzleaf subordinate, who quickly held up a fistful of wires. "If you'll allow us to plug you in directly to our computers, you'll be able to monitor our systems and take manual control of the fortress if any of us should be incapacitated or found, ah, lacking in our ability to respond to abrupt shifts in the battle going on outside."

"Vell, if you can respond to zose as vell as you have to our ozzer difficulties so far, I don't zink zat'll be necessary," Tarantulas said, looking impressed. Why couldn't these guys have been with him in the cockpit? They were clearly much more professional and competent than the last bunch, and he doubted any of them wrote disturbing fanfiction featuring him or Bellum or any of his other coworkers in their spare time. (Not that he didn't mind being written about, he found it rather flattering, actually, so long as they kept him in character and didn't try to ship him with anyone ridiculous, like, say, Bellum.) "Still, I zink I vould like to be plugged in, just in case. Zis crazy battle has already gotten vay, vay, VAY out of hand, so if zings get even vorse I vant to be ready to step in and take direct control just in case."

"Certainly, sir," the Shiftry said, nodding at the Nuzleaf, who ran over and expertly plugged each of the wires into the back of Tarantulas' head. The Doctor was so relieved when streams of information from the Arachnoblast's numerous sensors—all of which were now, thankfully, working at full capacity—starting flowing to and from his processor that he didn't even order his spiders to make a half-hearted lunge at the Nihilator just to get a fright out of him.

His good mood vanished in a flash, however, when he became fully aware of what was going on outside, thanks to feeds from the Arachnoblast's external cameras. "Vhat…vhat is…no! Is…is zat…Lugia? ASH PURIFIED HIM?"

Chobin gasped in horror. "What? Oh no! That is being absolutely horrible! It is the horriblest horrible thing of horrors Chobin that can be thinking of that is being so horrible! Oh, the HORROR! Of horribleness!"

"Grr…that Lucario beat Viers in one punch! One punch!" Viers snarled furiously, clenching his fists as steam blew from his ears and snout. "I was not ready. Next time I shall be ready. So I shall clobber him. With one punch! Because I will be ready for his punch! Which I will counter with my own! So that I shall clobber him!"

The Shiftry frowned in alarm. "What? Lugia?" He turned to the rest of the crew. "Bring it up on the main screen!"

"Sir!" the Nihilators shouted as they quickly rushed to their stations. Within seconds, the giant viewscreen flickered to life and showed a slightly grainy view of a completely Shadow-free Lugia with Ash riding on his back, the sunlight shining down on them. "Oh, sorry, I thought we'd cleaned this properly," the Shiftry said as he wiped the screen with his giant leaf fans, removing the dust and revealing a clear view of a completely Shadow-free Lugia with Ash riding on his back, the sunlight shining down on them. "There, that's better…except for the most powerful Shadow Pokémon in our arsenal having been freed from our control and united with the being prophesized to kill three of our _other_ strongest Shadow Pokémon, all of whom are present and not looking in the best of shape if the footage we're picking up is any indication."

To everyone's surprise, there was a grim smile on Tarantulas' face. "Vell, zis is somevhat unfortunate…but zankfully, even zis eventuality I have prepared for!"

"What, really?" Chobin gasped.

Tarantulas frowned. "Yes, really, Chobin! You vere zere vhen I made ze preparations!"

"Oh, right. Chobin was forgetting. Well, no, actually, Chobin was knowing all along, but Chobin liked pretending he didn't so he could act all surprised like everyone else," Chobin said.

Tarantulas rolled his eyes. "Right. Anyvay, considering how effectively Team Aurabolt and zeir colleagues have been so far at foiling our plans, I knew zere vas a small chance zat zey might somehow be able to purify Lugia despite every attempt on our part to keep zat from happening. Anticipating zis possibility, I planted a bomb inside of Lugia rigged to explode ze instant his Shadow levels hit zero, killing bozh him and Ash, removing bozh of zem from ze picture and zwarting ze prophecy forever!"

Chobin clapped his leaves together eagerly. "Brava! Brava! A brilliant plan of brilliantness that is a blindingly absolutely illuminating enlighteningly brilliant idea of extreme luminosity and brightness!"

"Yes," Viers said.

"Ah," the Shiftry said. "That _is_ clever, Doctor, but…er, pardon me if I missed something, but…doesn't that mean the bomb should have gone off by now?"

Tarantulas paused. "…Er…yes…yes, it should have. Zat's…razzer odd. Hmm…" Tarantulas scratched his head in puzzlement. "Funny, it seems like a lot of our implanted explosives have been vorking improperly for some reason lately. No matter, I can still detonate it remotely." He cackled maniacally as his mechanical eye started glowing red. "Zose two pristine heroes will be nozzing more zan so much salsa in zree…two…one…"

"KABOOM!" Chobin shouted loudly, causing everyone to jump.

"Chobin!" Tarantulas snapped angrily. "Ze heck vas zat for?"

"Oh, Chobin was just wanting to explode at the same time as the bomb. Chobin loves exploding into itty-bitty teeny-weeny eensy-weensy smally-wally bits of meat and blood and gore and so much red stuff that is so yummy especially when being charbroiled by an explosion from within," Chobin said fondly.

"Yes, I'm avare of zat," Tarantulas said flatly.

"Well, I'm afraid that's the only explosion, sir, since it seems like Ash and Lugia are still completely intact," the Shiftry reported.

"V-vat?" Tarantulas cried incredulously. He stared at the screen, gaping when he realized that their targets were, indeed, alive and inexplicably unexploded. "But…but…I don't understand…I sent ze signal! I'm still sending it now! Vhy isn't he exploding?"

"Pah, Doctor am being terribly horribly badly awfully terribly horribly badly awfully badly badly awfully terribly not very good at making bombs!" Chobin said, blowing a Razz Berry. "Viers, now _you_ are now being Chobin's bestest best friend forever and ever, while stupid Tarantulas is being demoted to bestest friend who is not quite as best as Viers but still very good all the same. Again."

"Okay," Viers said.

Tarantulas facepalmed. "Oh come on, zis again?"

"Um, sir, if I may?" the Shiftry spoke up timidly.

"Oh, and vhat do _you_ vant?" Tarantulas snapped.

The officer didn't flinch. "I don't know what's wrong with the bomb, sir, but all our weapons systems are fully functional. It should be a trivial matter for us to blast them out of the sky, especially considering how close they are to us."

Tarantulas stared at the Shiftry in awe. "Zat…zat is…zat's actually _smart!_ Zat's one of ze smartest zings anyone has said to me all day! And you took _initiative!_ Oh, vell done, sir, vell done indeed! Tell me, vhat is your name?"

"O," the Shiftry said.

Tarantulas nodded impatiently. "Yes, yes, you're dumbstruck zat I'm complimenting you, I know, but answer ze question! Vat is your name?"

"I just told you, sir," the Shiftry said. "My name is O."

"…O? Seriously? Your name is a letter?" Tarantulas asked incredulously, his opinion of the officer dropping a few notches. "Vhat kind of stupid name is 'O?'"

"Hey! O are being a great name! If he had two more Os, his name would be being the same as one of Chobin's favoritest favorite Masked Riders!" Chobin said.

"Masked who?" O asked in confusion.

"Masked Riders! They are masked motorcycle riders who ride around on motorcycles wearing masks and fighting crime and monsters while wearing masks and riding around on motorcycles," Chobin explained.

"Ah," O said vaguely.

"O is a stupid name. I hate names that are stupid. I hate people with stupid names. People with stupid names are stupid. Your name is stupid. So you are stupid. So I hate you!" Viers said.

"…Didn't your name used to be 'Midbos?'" O asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Midbos is not a stupid name! It was my name! And I am not stupid! Therefore, my name was not stupid! Because I am not stupid! And it was my name!" Viers bellowed.

"Viers, shut up. Your name vas stupid. Zat's vhy I changed it," Tarantulas interjected.

"Yes Lord Doctor Tarantulas," Viers said.

"Well, to be honest, O's not my real name," O said. "It's sort of a holdover from my days on the professional Ping-Pong circuit."

"…Ping-Pong," Tarantulas said flatly, his opinion of O dropping even further.

"_Professional_ Ping-Pong," O said proudly. "I was the champ, in fact. Still have all my trophies. In fact, I even had a Ping-Pong Center where I trained other Pokémon in how to play Ping-Pong like the pros!"

"Is zat so," Tarantulas said deadpan.

O nodded. "Yes, it is!"

"If you were being such hot stuff, why are you not still pinging pongs right now?" Chobin asked.

O's face fell. "Everyone realized Ping-Pong was a stupid sport and lost interest. I lost everything! My fame, my money, my Center, my fans, my students, my wife, my kids, my five mistresses-"

"Five? Seriously? For a _ping-pong player?_" Tarantulas asked in disbelief.

"Pah, that is nothing. I had _ten_ back when I was a professional gourmand!" Viers boasted. "And I did them all at once! All the time! Because I am that good! Everyone wants Viers!" He thrust his pelvis, causing the other Nihilators to scream and recoil in horror.

"…Okay, it's a good zing over half my brain is a computer so I can just delete zat from my memory banks," Tarantulas said with a disgusted look on his face.

"Chobin wants a brain for a computer! But not to delete things from his memory banks, because Chobin wants to remember _everything_, even things that are terribly horribly badly awfully terribly horribly badly awfully badly badly awfully terribly not very good, because Chobin likes things that are terribly horribly badly awfully terribly horribly badly awfully badly badly awfully terribly not very good! Chobin wants the power to look up porn with his brain. That's what the Internet am for, after all!" Chobin said. There were a few nods at this, but Tarantulas was gratified to see that there weren't nearly as many as there would have been from his last bridge crew.

"My life was ruined!" O continued, face contorted with rage. "Without Ping-Pong, I had nothing! So I joined the Nihilators to take revenge on the world that had abandoned me!"

"Fascinating," Tarantulas said boredly. "Vell, zat vas about as stupid as I feared, but less so zan Viers' rambling backstory, so I suppose I still like you a little bit. As such, I now name you my new best friend!"

O blinked in confusion. "Um…thanks?"

"You're velcome," Tarantulas said.

Chobin gasped in horror. "What? But-but Chobin was thinking that _he_ was being Doctor's best friend!"

"I zought you just made Viers your best friend," Tarantulas said.

"Well, er…yes, but…Chobin still thought Chobin would be Tarantulas' bestest best friend forever and ever, even if Doctor was no longer Chobin's bestest best friend forever and ever but Chobin's bestest friend who is not quite as best as Viers but still very good all the same," Chobin said, looking hurt.

"Yes, vell, not anymore," Tarantulas said, relishing the heartbroken look on Chobin's face. "Now _you_ know vhat it feels like!"

"Er, Doctor, I hate to interrupt, but is now really the right time for you and Chobin to be having…how shall I put this…relationship issues?" O asked awkwardly.

Tarantulas looked at the Shiftry admiringly. "Actually more interested in focusing on ze job at hand zan on vhatever silly diversion pops up to distract us from our goal? Yes, you certainly are proving yourself vorzy of being my BEST FRIEND!" Chobin burst into tears. Viers picked his nose and belched loudly.

"…Uh, right," O said slowly. "Anyway, ah, I believe you wanted us to fire on Ash and Lugia with all our weapons?"

Tarantulas nodded eagerly. "Yes, zat vould be much appreciated!"

"Very well. Lock on to that great white bird with all weapons! It should be an easy target due to its range and the fact that there's no diffusion field or interference from the storm to scramble our targeting systems!" O ordered.

"Sir, yes, sir!" his subordinates replied as they quickly started powering up the Arachnoblast's weapons systems. The fortress started humming as numerous smaller windows popped up on the main screen, showing the Arachnoblast's multitudinous weapons activating. Several large glowing red targeting reticles scrolled across the screen and overlapped over the image of Ash and Lugia, the words 'TARGET LOCK ACQUIRED' flashing over them.

"We have a lock on the target. Shall I give the order, sir, or would you prefer to do it?" O asked Tarantulas.

Tarantulas smirked magnanimously. "You may give ze order. After all, you are my BEST FRIEND." Chobin, who had stopped crying to stare in awe at the amount of firepower that was about to be brought to Beartic against their enemies, burst into tears again.

"Very well! On my mark, open fire!" O commanded, raising his arm. The weapons officers leaned forward, claws hovering over the 'fire' button. "Ready…FI-"

"Sir, we're receiving a communiqué from one of our capital ships!" a Chatot communications officer who was nowhere near as cool as the shades-wearing ultra-dependable symbiote-fathering telepathic music-loving smooth-talking sexy as the Pit mech that all the femmes wanted to get their manipulators on Decepticon Soundwave interrupted just before O could issue Ash and Lugia's death sentence, causing everyone to jump in surprise and more than a few weapons officers to stub their claws as they missed the 'fire' button and jabbed their claws into the console instead.

"Ignore it! Now's not a good time!" Tarantulas snapped.

"But-but it's marked as 'urgent,' sir!" the Chatot protested.

"I don't care! I know _exactly_ vhat's going to happen ze instant ve answer zat hail! It's going to be somezing completely and utterly stupid zat vill vaste even _more_ of our precious time on some inane and inconsequential matter zat vill involve far too many bizarre and disgusting non sequiturs from ze Nutpea Berry gallery here zat vill serve no purpose ozzer zan vasting _more_ time and driving me even more insane zan I already am, and by ze time ve finally get back on track ve'll have missed our opportunity to fulfill our mission and zings vill have gotten even _vorse_ for our side in ze interim!" Tarantulas ranted as his spiders scurried agitatedly about, picking up on his temper. "So unless it's a message from Herr Shadow himself, zose freeloaders can take care of zemselves vhile ze rest of us ACTUALLY DO VHAT VE ARE BEING PAID TO DO!"

Everyone flinched and took a few steps away from the Doctor, who was panting as steam billowed from vents all over his body as his systems tried to get rid of the excess heat generated by his anger. The Chatot swallowed and very timidly said, "U-um, actually sir…it _is_ a message from Oblivion's Shadow."

There was a long pause. Tarantulas' organic eye bulged and his mechanical one telescoped out. "VHAT? Vait, seriously? I vas just kidding about zat!"

The Chatot nodded as he pointed his wing at the message flashing on his screen. "Yeah, according to this he wants to talk to you. They've already got him on the other line. If we answer their hail, they can patch us through to him. Shall I open communications?"

"Yes, for ze love of ze Ruler of Evil, yes!" Tarantulas said, panicking. "He's probably already figured out zings are going terribly wrong down here, and if we take any longer he's going to be REALLY pissed! I've got to talk to him and see if I can convince him not to rip out all my legs and feed me to ze Shadow Pokémon!"

"Ooh, can Chobin have some too?" Chobin asked. "Chobin has always wanted to know what the Doctor tastes like…"

"Me too," Viers said.

"NO!" Tarantulas shouted.

O frowned. "Wait a minute…if the Shadow is eager to talk to you, then why isn't he contacting us directly rather than through an intermediary? Surely he could call us just as easily as he could any of our ships!"

"Ours is not to question vhy our exalted leader does ze zings he does!" Tarantulas said fervently. "Like vhy he's so obsessed viz Ash, or vhat sorts of perverted zings he's probably doing viz zat vampiric Gardevoir and ze ozzer specimens in his lab, or vhy he zinks it's spooky to go around wearing a mirror over his face and stealing ozzer people's voices razzer zan just talking to us like a regular mon! I mean, heck, all of us Nihilators have our own odd idiosyncracies, so he can be excused having a few of his own, ja?"

"…I don't have any odd idiosyncracies," O said.

"You used to play Professional Ping-Pong. PROFESSIONAL PING-PONG," Tarantulas reminded him. "Zat's almost veirder zan ze stuff Chobin does in his free time! Vell, okay, maybe not _zat_ veird…"

"Yes! Chobin's idiosyncracies are more idiosyncratic than any other Nihilator's idiosyncracies! Chobin is the most idiosyncratic Nihilator of them all!" Chobin declared. He paused. "What's an idiosyncracy?"

"Something that is stupid, since it starts with 'idio,' just like 'idiot,' which is stupid," Viers suggested.

"Zat's…huh. Zat's actually a marginally accurate definition of idiosyncracy, Viers," Tarantulas said, impressed. "Vell, okay, it's a bit simplistic and subjective, yes, but zat's certainly one razzer crude interpretation of vhat an idiosyncracy is."

"Good," Viers said.

"Aha! Chobin thought as much!" Chobin preened. "Chobin is the most idiosyncratic idiotic idiot of all the Nihilators, so it makes perfect sense that Chobin's idiotic idiosyncracies are the most idiotically idiosyncratic as well!"

"Anyvay, ze point is Herr Shadow does lots of strange zings zat don't really make sense but nobody calls him on it because if ve do ve're terrified he'll do somezing more horrible zan anyzing eizer Bellum or I could conjure up from our tormented psyches and make sure zat vhatever it is, it takes a very very long time for us to die. Vhich is vhy ve are not going to vonder vhy he is calling us zhrough anozzer ship, ve are going to answer him, NOW, and pray he doesn't liquefy our internal organs viz his mind for taking so long to respond to him!" Tarantulas declared.

"Mmm, Chobin loves it when Chobin's internal organs get liquefied," Chobin said, licking his lips. "Then Chobin can vomit them out and drink them back up. They taste like fruit juice and blood, two of Chobin's favoritest favorite drinks!"

"Mine too," Viers said.

Chobin gasped. "Really? Wow! Chobin should have made you Chobin's Chobin's bestest best friend forever and ever, and made Tarantulas Chobin's bestest friend who is not quite as best as Viers but still very good all the same sooner!"

"You did," Viers said. "More than once."

"Oh yeah…" Chobin murmured.

"Uh, so…I take it I should answer that call?" the Chatot asked slowly.

"YES!" Tarantulas bellowed, causing everyone to jump.

"Y-yes sir! Right away!" the Chatot stammered anxiously, talons flying across his keyboard. "Okay, the communication link's been opened, so we should be receiving the signal from the other ship—and the message from Lord Shadow—on the main screen right…about…now!"

The image of Ash and Lugia—who still had several dozen weapons locks fixated on them—was covered up by a new window. However, much to their disbelief, the face of the Pokémon inside that window was not Oblivion's Shadow, but…

Tarantulas gasped in horror while beside him, Chobin stiffened in his ball. "It's you!"

"How are you gentlemon?" the grinning blue face of Leo DeKappa of Team Aurabolt, light glinting off his badass sunglasses, said cockily. "All your base are belong to us! You are on the way to destruction."

"Vhat you say?" Tarantulas screamed incredulously.

"You have no chance to survive make your time. Ha ha ha ha…" Leo laughed.

"...What is going on?" asked the very confused O.

"Those are nice sunglasses," Viers said enviously.

"Leo, quit talking like that and quoting outdated memes, get down to business!" Pikachu hissed from offscreen.

"Oh, all right. Attention, Nihilator jerkwads: you've just been pwned!" Leo Murkrowed.

"How…how did…how did you get zis frequency?" Tarantulas cried in disbelief.

"Oh, it was simple to find, after we _took command of this battleship!"_ Leo whooped.

"_VHAT? IMPOSSIBLE!"_ Tarantulas screamed.

"Um, unfortunately he seems to be telling the truth, sir…this transmission is coming right from the capitol ship we got a hail from!" the Chatot said in alarm.

"But…but how? Each of my capitol ships are enormous, crewed by hundreds of Nihilators! How could you possibly have commandeered one?" Tarantulas shrieked.

"Well, that's a funny story," Leo said, pushing his sunglasses up his nose. "Y'see, it went a little like this…"

A few minutes ago…

The captain of the Nihilator capitol ship, a massive and heavily scarred Scolipede who had the distinct honor of being one of the few Pokémon ever to survive one of Captain Briney's infamous raids on a Nihilator outpost (mainly because it had been his day off and he'd gone into town to shoot some pool and get a few drinks, and so completely missed out on the revenge-seeking Metang utterly destroying the base), growled in frustration as the Enchanted Express car streaking towards them on glowing tracks of light juked and dodged and managed to evade every last one of the several thousand rounds of munitions and explosives his weapons were unloading on it every second. "This is ridiculous! It's a flying train car! Why are we having so much trouble-"

"Running," one of the other Nihilators on the bridge interrupted.

"Huh?" the captain said.

"Running," the Nihilator repeated. "Like a nose that is stuffy from a cold, if that nose had legs and jumped off its face and walked away. If it flew, it would not be on rails. Trains run on rails. Planes do not. If they ran on rails, they would not be planes, they would be trains, just as trains would be cars if they ran off of rails and cars would be planes if they could fly. Which they cannot. Just like trains. Trains cannot fly. That is a train. Therefore, it is not flying. It is running."

The captain stared at him for a long moment, and then tore off the Nihilator's head with Bug Bite. "It's a _running_ car," the Scolipede amended as blood dripped from his mandibles. "Why are we having so much trouble shooting it?"

One of the weapons officers shook his head in bewilderment. "I don't know, sir, but I'll say this…whoever's controlling that thing must be the greatest pilot who ever lived!"

"YEEEEEHAAAAA!" Leo, who was of course the one steering the car, shouted as he expertly evaded the thousands of projectiles flying at them, weaving his way between missiles and rockets and energy blasts, occasionally returning fire from the car's own armaments, blowing up a few of the capitol ship's weapons emplacements but doing little to stem the unending tide of munitions rushing out from the enemy vessel.

Pikachu, the only passenger in the car aside from Leo, Dawn, and the several dozen Happy husks floating in the hallway behind them waiting to fight, stared in disbelief as Leo managed to not just dodge every attack aimed at them, but did so without getting a _single scratch_. "Leo…where did you learn how to fly like this?"

_Even some of my old masters would have trouble maneuvering so flawlessly!_ The awed Dawn agreed.

"While I could point out that we're in a train car moving on magical railroad tracks so we're running rather than actually flying, that would be pedantic and not actually answer your question," Leo said without taking his eyes off the crystal screen of the car's control panel, which was so full of dots representing enemy missiles that it was almost opaque. "Speaking of which, it's simple: I've beaten Mushihimesama's true final boss and conquered Touhou on Ultra Mode. Compared to Bullet Hells like _those_, a little something like this holds no terror for me."

Pikachu stared at him blankly. "...You learned how to do this from a _video game?_"

_Figures,_ Dawn sighed.

"Yep." Leo grinned. "And as a plus, I can also dodge water droplets while taking a shower or radioactive particles during nuclear fallout. That's easy-peasy compared to what I've been through."

…_Just what kind of game was this, exactly?_ Dawn asked, amazed and actually wondering if Leo's hyperbole might, well, not be hyperbole.

"A shmup!" Leo said proudly.

"A what?" Pikachu and Dawn asked in confusion.

"Shmup, short for 'shoot-em'-up," Leo explained without detracting from his expert piloting in the slightest. "It's a genre of game, typically a top-down fixed-scrolling shooter where you control a single plane/tank/spaceship with an unlimited amount of ammunition going up against a seemingly endless horde of enemies constantly coming at you in predictable yet inexorable patterns."

"…Which is sort of what we're doing here," Pikachu suddenly realized.

_Ah, I see…_ Dawn murmured.

Leo nodded. "Yeah, if this were an actual game, I'd say we'd be at the point at the end of the level where we have to fight a massive screen-filling boss, or in this case, a really big battleship. There's a subgenre of Shoot-'Em-Ups called 'Bullet Hell' which gained me the skill and expertise necessary to survive this current battle. Bullet Hell games test both your dodging skills and your resistance to seizures."

"…Seizures?" Pikachu asked, staring blankly at Leo while Dawn goggled.

"Uh-huh! Because they often feature extremely elaborate and beautiful patterns of bullet flows, especially for bosses, with hundreds and sometimes thousands of bullets on the screen at once, requiring constant weaving and pattern memorization in order to not just get the top score, but _survive_, since usually it only takes one hit to kill you," Leo said.

"Ah," Pikachu said. He looked out the window at the hundreds and hundreds of projectiles shooting towards them, which Leo seemed to be able to maneuver effortlessly around. "And…you're saying you've beaten games that are _harder_ than this?"

"Yep!" Leo said.

_Unbelievable,_ Dawn said, shaking her head in wonderment.

Pikachu raised an eyebrow. "What, were the game designers supervillains or something?"

"That's one theory," Leo said.

"Grrr…we still haven't been able to land a single hit on them?" the captain snarled in frustration as the train car continued to dodge their attacks.

"Not for lack of trying, sir," one of the weapons officers growled.

"I…think we've fired so many times that we're actually running out of ammunition," another weapons officer said in astonishment.

The captain stared at him incredulously. "I thought that a single one of these ships had enough firepower to vaporize a large city, or conquer a small country. Or is it the other way around?" The other Nihilators shrugged. He growled in frustration. "Dammit! They're making fools of us! Not only that, they're coming right towards us, as if to laugh at how we can't hit them even at close range!"

There was a pause. "Uh, captain, I don't think they're coming towards us to mock us," one of the helmsmons said. He frowned and checked his instruments. "Er, in fact, it looks as if they're accelerating."

The captain frowned. "What, are they trying to zip past us or something? We have weapons in the rear, too! We'll just blast them as they're retreating!"

"Uh, no sir, it doesn't look like they're trying to go _by_ us, in fact…it, ah, looks as if they're coming right at us. And by 'us,' I mean…_us_. As in, everyone in this room," the helmsmon elaborated.

"What? But that makes no sense," said the confused Scolipede. "The only reason they'd be doing something as foolish as that is if they were trying…to…" He trailed off, eyes widening in horror as realization dawned at the same time as the approaching train car grew larger and larger in the viewscreen. "Oh, crap. EVERYONE, DUCK AND-"

They were too late. With a resounding crash, the train car collided with the bridge, smashing through the viewscreen and plowing through the dozen or so Nihilators seated at their control panels, killing them on impact and flinging their corpses around the room as the car ripped through the consoles and came to a screeching halt only a few feet away from the captain's console due to liberal application of the brakes that tore the floor to shreds and threw up so many sparks that several of the small fires that sprang up due to the crash got even worse. There was a hiss and the door in the front of the car slid open, a gas-mask wearing Pikachu, Buneary, and Squirtle stumbling out, followed by several dozen identical hollow shells that looked like armored Butterfrees. "Yatta! That was awesome! Talk about a dynamic entrance!" Leo enthused as he staggered about; trying to get his bearings after the rather bumpy landing.

Pikachu looked through the lenses of his mask at the wreck surrounding their car, which still had at least half its length sticking out the large hole they'd made in the wall. Bodies lay everywhere in varying states of disrepair, sparking and fizzing cables dangled from the ceiling, debris and piles of scrap and broken computer parts littered the floors, and several small fires had sprung up and were filling the air with smoke. The few intact lights that were still dangling from the ceiling were flickering weakly, and an emergency siren rang loudly from a flashing red beacon on the back wall, causing his ears to twitch. "You kinda stuck the landing a bit there, don't you think?"

"Landing in one piece wasn't really part of any of the shoot-'em-ups I've ever played," Leo confessed. "But hey, I did an awesome job for my first time, don't you think? Plus, just look at our ride! She's not even scratched! Do they make 'em fine in Fichina or what?" He patted the side of the car proudly.

"Well, it's not like I could have done a better job," Pikachu admitted.

Dawn frowned at the mess that was the control room. _Is there enough left here for us to do what we came here to do?_

"Hmm…yeah, I guess we did kinda smash the place up a bit," Leo murmured. "Still, there should be enough left for me to work my magic, by which I mean techno-magic, since I am sadly incapable of casting any spells, unlike my super-fine sorceress girlfriend." He sighed. "Not for lack of trying…"

"That's great," Pikachu said distractedly. "Let's get on with that, shall we?" He turned to the Happy husks hovering behind him. "I imagine it's only a matter of time until reinforcements show up to try and kick us out of here. Secure this deck and the ones below us to make sure we aren't interrupted." Wordlessly (since they couldn't talk) the husks floated past Pikachu and out the door at the back of the room, a pair staying behind to guard the entrance.

"Do those things creep you out at all?" Leo asked.

_No,_ said Dawn. _I'm used to Shedinjas and lifeless vessels._

"A little, what with the way they're animated despite being completely hollow, the fact that they're basically living husks of _shed_ _skin_, and the way they look at you with those empty eye sockets," Pikachu said. "You?"

"No way! I think they're totally awesome!" Leo gushed.

Pikachu raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Really?"

"Yeah! They're like an army of the undead that obeys our commands! I've always wanted an army of the undead that obeys my commands. It's one of my life-long goals, actually!" Leo said.

"…Somehow that doesn't surprise me," Pikachu said wearily. He frowned. "You know, considering how the dragon Tiama turned your dad and a good percentage of your village into an undead army, I'd have figured you'd be scared of or at least dislike the undead."

"What are you, kidding? The undead are awesome!" Leo said. "The ones that aren't evil or cursed or trying to eat your brains or in constant agony and hatred, I mean. Ghost Pokémon are undead and they're super-cool! Why would I dislike them? And besides, if I wasn't fond of the undead, that'd make me a pretty big hypocrite for dating Lily, right?"

"That's true," Pikachu admitted while Dawn nodded in agreement.

Leo nodded. "Pshyeah! By that same line of reasoning, you might as well say that I hate dragons, which is just preposterous, because dragons are cool!" He sighed wistfully. "There are times I wish I had been born a dragon, actually…then I could fly. And breathe fire. And have horns or a crest, so I wouldn't be bald! Plus, I'd get to be a citizen of one of the most powerful nations on Earth, which is sweet, and means nobody could pick on me because they'd be afraid I'd bring the wrath of Rayquaza down on their heads! Hey, do you think I'd make a good dragon?"

"NO," Pikachu said loudly, the thought of Leo as a dragon one of the most horrifying things he had ever imagined. Dawn shuddered at the thought.

Leo scowled. "Dude, why do you always gotta go and crush my dreams?"

_To keep your head out of the clouds and put it where it needs to be_, Dawn said.

"You know, since we're flying, we're really not that far from the clouds-" Leo mused.

"LEO! Focus!" Pikachu snapped. "We're here for a reason. Let's get to it already!"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, right," Leo said. He looked around the room for a computer intact enough to suit his purpose. The one the captain had been sitting at looked as if it were in good enough shape. "That one should do the trick." He walked over to it…

And the captain, looking like a wraith due to all the dust that had fallen over him thanks to the crash and the blood oozing from his numerous wounds, rose up behind him, a look of unadulterated rage and hatred on his face. "You…you did this!" he snarled. "I'll kill-"

There was a flash and the sound of metal slicing through flesh. The captain gasped, then fell back to the ground, his body cut in two. Leo, not looking even remotely startled, glanced at the Scolipede corpse and gave Pikachu and Dawn a thumb's-up. "Nice save."

"You should have been more careful," Pikachu scolded him as he wiped the blood and bug juices from his sword, while the ninja did the same with her claws.

"Oh, I could tell he was playing dead all along," Leo said, tapping his sunglasses. "But I knew you had my back. Plus, it set you up to pull off a totally awesome stunt that emphasized just how much of a badass you are! Which makes it all worthwhile, right?"

Dawn sighed and Pikachu rolled his eyes. "If you say so, Leo…"

Leo smirked. "Well, I do. So there." He walked around the corpse and got into the captain's chair so he had a good overview of the Scolipede's console, which, thankfully, was still mostly intact and in working order. "Yeah…yeah, this should work nicely." He pulled out his laptop, flipped it open, powered it up, and then plugged a cable into its side. "And now, to take control of this entire battleship and all the formidable power it possesses!" he declared, raising the other end of the cable dramatically into the air. "Jack in! Power up!" He thrust the cable at a socket on the console…

Which bounced off because the outlet was the wrong shape. "Huh? I've got the wrong head? That's funny, I assumed that they'd all be conveniently the same format I used. That's how it usually works…" Leo murmured. "Oh well, good thing I brought plenty of adaptors." He attached an adaptor to the tip of the cable and plugged it into the socket with much less fanfare. Lights started flashing on the console and windows began popping up both on the computer's screens and on Leo's laptop. "Yes! We're compatible! What a relief, for a second there I was worried they used a completely different operating system from mine. Good thing I have plenty of _those,_ too." He began typing eagerly on his keyboard, lines of code flashing across all the screens faster than most programmers could possibly read it. Fortunately, Leo wasn't most programmers.

"You…*cough*…are trying to hack…our systems?" the Scolipede captain, who was miraculously not dead despite being cut in half, wheezed from the ground, startling them and causing Pikachu to draw his sword. "The firewalls and security software were designed by Doctor Tarantulas himself. There's no way a brat like you could possibly-"

"Aaaand I'm in!" Leo announced. "Yatta!"

The Scolipede's eyes bulged out in disbelief. "Wh-what? That's not possible!"

"Please, a nontuple Omega-Sigma-Delta-Gamma-level matrix with a -bit encryption key? Child's play!" Leo snorted.

"Was any of what you just said actual programming terms, or did you just throw a bunch of random words together to sound cool?" Pikachu asked skeptically.

"Who's the computer genius here?" Leo asked, deftly failing to answer the question. "And shouldn't that guy be dead?"

"Huh? Oh, right," Pikachu said, lopping off the Scolipede's head. Dawn ran her claws through the Bug's brain just to be safe.

"And what were you two doing just floating there the whole time? Weren't you supposed to be protecting us?" Leo asked the Happy husks by the door. They just stared at him. "Oh, don't give me those blank looks!"

"Uh, Leo? The computer?" Pikachu prompted.

"Huh? Oh, right! I've gained complete control over all the ship's systems thanks to my mad skillz!" Leo bragged.

"I suppose you learned those from a game, too?" Pikachu half-joked.

"Nah, I broke into the central mainframes of several governments and major corporations," Leo said.

"…You WHAT?" Pikachu screamed.

"I was bored and had some free time when I was younger," Leo said.

"Free—Leo, I thought you spent all your time before we met you playing video games, watching anime, looking up pointless things online, and ordering all sorts of inane contraptions using your parents' credit cards!" Pikachu said.

"I did," Leo said. "But in between summer and the holidays there's always a dearth of new games, and while it's fun to replay your old games for a while eventually even your favorites can get somewhat tiresome after you've beaten them the five hundred and seventy-third time, and you can only watch reruns of your favorite shows so many times until all the hot-blooded shonen heroes with overlarge swords, giant mechas, and ridiculous hairstyles start blending together, and none of your favorite blogs have posted anything new and interesting for a while, and none of your other friends are available to play you in your favorite MMORPGs, and you find yourself looking for something to do. And then you remember there's all these cool new games that look totally awesome that your favorite gaming companies are going to come out with in a few months, except that that's in a few months, rather than right away, which means unless you know how to build a time machine you can't do anything but sit there and be bored until they come out! And since building a time machine is almost impossible—trust me, I've tried—that leaves a nerd with only one possible solution to this gripping dilemma!"

_Go outside and play in the sunlight?_ Dawn suggested sarcastically.

"What, and get a sunburn? Don't be silly! No, I'm talking about something much more sensible and reasonable…namely, hacking into the servers of your favorite video game companies so you can find out more about the upcoming games as well as steal beta versions to play at home and/or modify to your own specifications to make a totally radical fanmod that's light-years beyond whatever the official version's going to be like when it comes out," Leo said.

"…That's sensible and reasonable?" Pikachu asked incredulously.

_It is for Leo,_ Dawn said.

"Yep," Leo said. "And from there, it's a logical next step to start hacking into government databases to see what sorts of cool new military toys they're working on or secrets they're hiding from the public."

"…How is that a logical next step?" Pikachu demanded.

_It is for Leo,_ Dawn repeated.

Leo shrugged. "Once you've figured out how to make somebody's mainframe your bitch, you're gonna want something tougher to try to crack, and you can't get much tougher than a world power."

"Isn't that horrendously illegal?" Pikachu asked.

"Yep! Which just makes it that much more exciting!" Leo said. "And besides, what exactly were they going to do, come and arrest me? I was living in a village being controlled by a territorial and very hostile dragon who wouldn't take someone coming in and trying to take away one of her servants/potential meals lightly! I was already practically under house arrest!"

"That might have worked then, but Tiama's _dead_, Leo," Pikachu pointed out. "And you're not in Turtle Town anymore."

"Which would be a problem if any of the people I've hacked had any idea who I was, which they don't!...I think," Leo said. "And even if they did, I'm a hero now, which means I'll be exonerated of all my youthful misdemeanors once we defeat the Nihilators and save the world."

"I…don't think that's how it works," Pikachu said.

"Uh, I'm pretty sure it does," Leo said. "And even if it doesn't, it's not like you guys are going to let me get thrown in prison, right? We're a Rescue Team, which means you'd have to rescue me! No mon left behind, right?"

Dawn wondered if she should mention that since she was technically still working for the Draconian Empire, if she ever discovered Leo had stolen state secrets from her masters she was obligated to kill him. She decided against it, since it might hamper the Squirtle's ability to perform the current mission. Pikachu opened his mouth to protest, then sighed and gave up, deciding this wasn't worth it. He rubbed his forehead, feeling a headache coming on, as it usually did when he was paired up with Leo. (Why was he so often paired up with Leo, anyway?) "Whatever. I don't really care. Let's…let's just do what we're here to do, okay?"

"Hmm? Oh, right, good idea," Leo said. He started typing at his computer again. "Okay, let's see if the others made it all right. The programs Zippo and I made for them should have helped them gain control of their target ships' systems since none of them have my awesome skillz…" One by one, windows popped up on his screen showing Bruno and Looker, the Grumpig and Haunter guards, Lu and Sasha, the Gastly porter and Abra waiter, and a few other two or three-mon teams formed of other Enchanted Express staff who hadn't appeared or been named in previous chapters and so are inconsequential. "This is Team 1 reporting in! Have the rest of you reached your targets? Well, that's kind of a rhetorical question since if you hadn't, you wouldn't be talking to me, but…"

"Team 2 reporting in. No trouble on our end," Looker said.

"Well, there was," Bruno said with a grin, pounding his fists together. "For the Nihilators, that is!"

"Team 3 reporting in. We had a bit of a tussle, but our ship is secure," the Haunter said.

"A tussle? I think that's the biggest fight I've ever been in!" the Grumpig complained.

"Team 4! Everything went _perfecto!_" Lu said coyly.

"My master reaped many souls this day, and will have many more before we are finished," Sasha said ominously.

"Team 5. For the first time I've actually been in a real fight, I don't think we did too badly," the Abra said.

"Speak for yourself, all you did was hide in the car while the Happy clones and I took down the Nihilators ourselves!" the Gastly said.

"The Happy clones and _you?_ You stayed in the car with me!" the Abra said.

"I was directing them! From a safe distance!" the Gastly said.

"Guys, guys, that's enough!" Leo shouted, cutting them off and also preventing any of the train staff on the other teams from reporting in and thus making their names or at least their species known so they'd be more than just faceless NPCs. "I take it you all have everything under control, then?"

"Well, other than a few hundred Nihilator crewmon still living, but since we have the Happy shells to fend them off as well as the ship's defense systems, I'd say we have the situation handled," Looker said.

"Defense systems? Ooh, I knew I was forgetting something!" Leo said, snapping his fingers. "Hang on." He opened up a new window and started typing in several streams of code. Within seconds, several more windows appeared showing security camera footage of Nihilators fighting the Happy skins they'd brought on board or rushing through the ship's corridors trying to join the battle to repel the invaders. With a few keystrokes Leo activated the ship's internal defense systems and turned them against their masters, causing the Nihilators to panic and start running the other way as poison gas seeped from the vents, acid sprayed from sprinklers, turrets popped out of hatches and started opening fire, and robot spiders scurried out of wall panels and started swarming towards them. "There, that should hold 'em off for a while. Where were we? Oh yeah, so you guys have gained full control over the ships you've landed on."

"Well, 'landed' isn't exactly the word I'd use to describe how we wound up here…" the Haunter complained.

"Hey, I did the best I could! And it's not like you were any help!" the Grumpig retorted.

"I could probably have done a better job than you. I doubt I could have been any _worse_," the Haunter sneered.

"Why you-" the Grumpig snarled.

"Why didn't you just use the autopilot? That's what we did," Sasha said.

There was a pause. "…There's an autopilot?" the Grumpig and Haunter asked. Everyone facepalmed, or did the equivalent thereof.

"Anyway," Leo said loudly. "Since everyone is in position, it's time to initiate phase two of Operation: Desert Storm!"

"Remind me why we called it that again?" Bruno asked.

"Because we're in a desert in the middle of a storm?" Lu said.

"…Eh. Good enough," Bruno said.

"We'll begin bombarding the surrounding ships with our weapons the instant you give the signal," Looker said.

"Just make sure you've removed the Arachnoblast from the equation by then, or at least made sure it will be less of a threat," the Abra said.

"Guys, guys, relax! I'll take care of it. Come on; does this look like the face of a Pokémon who'll let you down?" Leo said with a grin.

Everyone wisely remained silent. Except for the Grumpig, who wasn't very wise, and said, "Yes." Leo glared at him, and the Haunter smacked him. "Ow."

"I'll initiate contact with the Arachnoblast now. Once I've neutralized them, I will give the signal to start the attack," Leo said, typing some more commands into his computer and transmitting information to his collaborators on the other ships. "After the initial volley, begin moving towards these coordinates. We'll rendezvous there and initiate Phase Three, bringing this battle to an end!"

"Uh, what about the three birds?" the Gastly asked.

"What about them?" Leo asked.

"Isn't the battle still on so long as they're around?" the Gastly asked.

"Not after Ash and Lugia take care of them," Pikachu said.

"Speaking of which, wasn't that scene where Ash did the purification thing totally awesome?" Leo gushed eagerly. "I mean, they had a freaking pillar of blue fire rising into the heavens, and they cleared a big gaping hole in the storm so that all this holy light could shine down on them and make them look like utter badasses descended from the Celestial Heavens to smite the wicked heathens and all that! So. COOL!"

"Um, yes," Pikachu said.

"Yeah, it was pretty cool, wasn't it?" the Haunter said.

"Too bad we couldn't have been at ground zero to see it in action," Bruno said.

"If we were, wouldn't we have been at risk of getting killed?" Looker asked.

Bruno stared at him blankly. "…That's a problem?" The Croagunk rolled his eyes.

"Too bad we probably won't be do anything quite as cool…" the Grumpig complained.

"What, crashing into a heavily-armed Nihilator battleship and taking it over all by yourselves isn't enough for you?" Lu asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well…okay, I guess that's pretty cool," the Grumpig admitted.

"And if that's not good enough, I'm pretty sure the end result of our little jaunt is going to be just as, if not more, impressive than what Ash pulled off," Bruno said.

"I think 'just as' or 'slightly less' are more likely, actually. Purifying an evil god and slaying three others is a tough act to follow," Looker said. Bruno scowled at him.

"I think we've wasted enough time chit-chatting. Leo, I believe it's time we get to business?" Pikachu said a little urgently.

"Huh? Oh, right. Okay, signing off. Be ready to move when I give the signal!" Leo said.

"Right," all the other teams said.

"Hey, what _is_ the signal any-" the Abra started just as the communications feed cut off.

"And now, to call up the good Doctor!" Leo said.

Back in the present…

"And then I called you up using a message from Oblivion's Shadow as a pretense to get you to answer my call, and you were all, 'It's you!' so I couldn't resist making a Zero Wing reference by talking like MEOWTHS and going, 'All your base are belong to us! You are on the way to destruction-'" Leo rambled.

"Okay, okay, I get ze point!" Tarantulas snapped.

Leo pouted. "Awww, I didn't even get to the part where I explained how I started explaining how I got control of the ship, so I could have had a flashback within a flashback! So meta…" Offscreen, Pikachu facepalmed and Dawn shook her head.

"I have no idea vhat you are talking about, and I don't care!" Tarantulas snapped. "However, ze fact zat you and several of your friends have somehow managed to commandeer a number of my strongest varships is cause for alarm…for _you!_ For you see, I have killsvitches installed in each of my vessels just in case an enemy should happen to somehow take over zem…killsvitches vhich I can activate remotely, destroying you and all your little saboteurs! Farevell, fools!" He laughed maniacally, robotic eye flashing…

And nothing happened. "Eh? V-vhat is zis? Vhy aren't you exploding?" Tarantulas cried incredulously, seeing the increasingly grin look on Leo's face grow wider as he failed to die in a terrible conflagration.

Leo laughed. "Oh, please, Doc! You didn't think I'd have contacted you before disabling your killswitch, would you? And don't even bother trying to take out my pals, the program Zippo and I wrote up has disabled those, too!"

"Disabled…vait a minute! Zen…zat means you are responsible for Lugia's bomb not going off as vell!" Tarantulas gasped.

O blinked. "…How'd you get that? Aren't they completely different sets of explosives?"

"They are, but he's right," Leo said, proudly flourishing a bizarre mishmash of junk masquerading as some sort of handheld gadget. "Thanks to my remote bomb-defusing gizmo, I was able to disarm the bomb inside of Lugia even before Ash and the others started fighting him, since you tried the same dirty trick with Dawn and I figured you wouldn't pass up the chance to do it again."

"Hmmph, very clever," Tarantulas said grudgingly. "You really have zought of everyzing, haven't you?"

"That's right," Leo said.

"Zen I suppose you also made sure to close ze back door I installed into the shipboard computers so zat I could regain control if anyone vere to try and take zem from me?" Tarantulas said with a grin, his eye glowing again.

Leo gasped in horror…then burst into a grin. "Yep! In fact, it's what I used to upload a virus into your processor the instant I called you up to infect your systems, and, through you, the Arachnoblast's mainframe, since I _knew_ you'd plug yourself into the computers because you're such a paranoid control freak there's no way you'd choose to command the thing without being able to assume direct control 'just in case.'"

Tarantulas' eyes bulged in horror. "V-vhat? A virus? Zat's…zat's preposterous! I programmed all my systems myself, zere's no vay you could slip somezing like zat past my firevalls!"

"Just like there's no way I could have found a way to take over more than half a dozen of your capitol ships?" Leo asked smugly. "Of course, I knew your personal systems would be a tougher nut to crack than the ones on the ship…which is why I spent so long telling you how my friends and I managed to capture your battleships, to give my little program enough time to slip past your defenses and insinuate itself deep in your hard drive while you were too distracted by my epic action-packed yarn to notice. And now, all I have to do is push a single key…and both you and the Arachnoblast are toast!"

"Vait! No! Stop! STOP!" Tarantulas screamed desperately as Leo, with a triumphant grin, pushed a single button on his keyboard.

The results were instantaneous. Tarantulas convulsed, screaming in agony as electricity leaped out from him and danced across his web, overloading the circuits of his robot spiders and causing them to explode one by one, the series of detonations ripping the web apart and causing the Ariados to fall to the floor on his back, twitching and shaking.

It didn't end there, though. Static crackled up the lengths of the cables that had been plugged into the madmon's head, and Nihilators leaped back in alarm as the consoles the wires ran to overheated, sparked, and burst into flames. A few even exploded. Lights grew to an almost agonizing brightness and exploded, showering the crew in sparks and bits of glass. The whole room shook, and the remaining lights all turned red as sirens blared throughout the fortress. The klaxons only blared for a few seconds, however, before they cut off in a burst of static and instead started to loudly broadcast Leo's voice shouting "YATTA! YATTA! YATTA! YATTA!" in an endless loop. Those same words started scrolling endlessly in the backgrounds of the screens still intact in the auxiliary bridge, while in the foreground big blue sunglass-wearing smiley faces resembling Leo spun wildly about.

"Make it stop! MAKE IT STOP!" a crewmon screamed as his nerve broke and he ran around, screaming his head off.

O slapped him with his leaf fan hard enough to nearly take his head off for real. "Snap out of it, mon! Now is not the time to panic!"

"Actually, I'd say it _is_ the time, since I just managed to disable one of the biggest and baddest weapons in the Nihilator arsenal with the push of a single button! I! RULE! OH YEAH! Or rather…YATTA!" Leo whooped.

Pikachu sweatdropped. "He certainly seems to be enjoying himself…"

_Well, he's earned it,_ Dawn said. Her ears twitched. _Although…I don't suppose he could be a _little_ quieter about it?_

Chobin, who had been staring at Leo without blinking for the last several minutes twitched. "Yatta," he whispered.

"Yatta?" Viers asked in confusion, his head starting to hurt from all the loud noises and the big words and technobabble that had been flying through the air a few minutes ago.

"Yatta," Chobin murmured, clenching his leaves.

"Ya…tta…" the dazed Tarantulas groaned.

"Yatta," Chobin hissed, grinding his teeth.

"YATTA! YATTA! YATTA! YATTA!" the speakers said cheerfully.

"_Yatta_," Chobin growled, his face contorting into a mask of pure hatred.

"YATTA!" Leo cheered again.

"YATTA!" Chobin roared, veins standing out all over his body.

The Sunflora let out a violent scream of fury, a blast of power erupting from him and causing the sphere Tarantulas had trapped him in (as well as his glasses) to shatter, flinging very sharp and super-hard fragments of transparent material through the air, imbedding themselves in the soft and yielding flesh of many of the Nihilators and tearing up even more of the room. Viers, who had gotten quite a few pieces of shrapnel driven into his side due to his close proximity to Chobin, looked down at the dozens of razor-sharp shards protruding from his body and grunted, "Ow."

Leo started. "Oh snap. That can't be good."

"It certainly isn't, Shell-head!" Chobin said, a deadly serious look on his face and his voice lacking the unfocused madness it usually contained and instead possessing a…far more _focused_ insanity as he put a monocle over one eye and glared at Leo. "I will admit that managing to commandeer some of my ships and disabling my magnificent Arachnoblast, as well as frying the circuits of my dear companion Spydor, is a marginally impressive feat…but it is no more than a small setback compared to the genius of the scourge of Freedom City, the slaughterer of Kelz'thyu'poi-kydetg, founder of the Arachninja clan, murderer of Lord Nightwindshadowflame of Meagathune'yupoil Keep, and serial ding-dong ditcher, the one and only archnemesis of the Turtle Titan: I, Arackaiser!" A live wire fell from a ceiling panel behind him, causing a bolt of electricity to shoot down and explode against the floor in a dramatic sizzle of sparks.

Leo gasped in horror. "OH NO!"

"Huh?" O said in confusion. "What? I didn't do anything."

"I thought your name was Chobin," Viers said dully.

_I…do not understand_, said the confused Dawn.

"…What?" Pikachu asked flatly.

"Chobin's evil(er) alter ego based off his online persona, Arackaiser, has resurfaced from Chobin's subconscious to usurp control of Chobin's mind, no doubt dredged from the depths due to hearing my catchphrase—which is also the catchphrase of _my_ online persona and Arackaiser's nemesis, Turtle Titan—triggering his repressed memories of the last time we fought and giving him the opportunity to have his revenge!" Leo cried.

Pikachu stared at him for a long moment. "No, seriously, what?"

Leo gave Pikachu a hurt look. "You don't believe me?"

"Leo, even for _you_ that's kind of hard to swallow," Pikachu said.

"What are you talking about? This happened before! At the Tree of Beginning, remember?" Leo said.

"I wasn't there when you confronted Tarantulas and Chobin, remember? Michael and I were rescuing the rest of the Caretakers," Pikachu reminded him.

"Oh, yeah. Well, it happened then! We even told you about it!" Leo said.

"To be honest, I figured you were embellishing the whole thing," Pikachu confessed.

"What? Come on, mon, give me more credit! Dawn was there too, she can back me up!" Leo persisted.

Pikachu raised an eyebrow and glanced at his vassal. "Dawn?"

_I…am reluctant to admit it, but…yes, Master, that's essentially what happened,_ Dawn admitted Mareepishly.

"Hey, what do you mean by 'reluctant?'" Leo asked, offended.

"Huh," Pikachu said, eye twitching. "Well. I guess there are no limits to the amount of weirdness that goes on around us, is there?"

"Nope!" Leo said proudly.

"I see that our fight back at the Tree of Origins has not slipped your mind, Titan…for it certainly hasn't slipped mine!" Arackaiser sneered. "I suppose your defeat that day still rankles you? How must it have felt, I wonder, to have let down so many Pokémon who were counting on you?"

Leo frowned. "Defeat? What'choo talkin' 'bout, Arackaiser? I whupped you, me and the Aura Kid!"

"Who?" Pikachu asked.

_Ash,_ Dawn clicked.

"Oh," Pikachu said.

"I _also_ seem to remember you getting crushed beneath some debris! Doesn't sound much like a defeat to me! Not for me, anyway," Leo said.

Arackaiser snickered. "Oh please, you know as well as I do that was just one of my many Kaiserbot duplicates…such useful contraptions, aren't they? Mechanoids programmed to behave like me so well that sometimes even I forget which of us is the original and which is the machine…not to mention they always serve as an effective distraction or fall mon in case I need to make a speedy getaway or fake my own death!"

Leo rolled his eyes as Pikachu scratched his head in confusion. "'Always a Doombot,' huh? Using that tired old excuse? Fine, whatever, that doesn't change the fact that I creamed you, not the other way around!" Leo said.

"Is that so? Things look a little different from my perspective," Arackaiser said smugly. "Yes, you defeated my minions and my Robo-Groudon prototype…but I managed to destroy the Tree of Origins, escaped with the Tree's sacred treasure, and left the primitive natives homeless and destitute, while you were left behind to pick up the pieces. While Shinobunneary prevented me from making off with the map that would help me find more treasure, I would still call the overall venture a solid victory for Arackaiser!"

…_Shinobunneary? Is he talking about me?_ Dawn asked in confusion.

"I…guess?" Pikachu said uncertainly.

Leo clenched his fists angrily as he recalled the aftermath of their adventure at the Tree of Beginning, the tragic funeral they'd held for all of Michael's friends and family who hadn't made it out…and how they'd been forced to leave their newest teammate behind to lead his now-homeless tribe to an uncertain future. When Arackaiser put it like that, it certainly _did _seem like a win for the Nihilators… "Yeah, well…that's not gonna happen this time!" Leo said angrily. "I'm not stupid enough to think that we're gonna beat you once and for all today…but we're going to stop you here, smash your fleet and your giant spider, kill your legendary stooges, and send you running with your spinnerets leaking webbing in your wake!"

"Um, he doesn't have spinnerets. He's a Sunflora," Pikachu pointed out.

"Yes, but he _thinks_ he's a spider right now, so he has spinnerets. Or believes he does," Leo said.

"I…what? That…that doesn't…oh, whatever…" the samurai groaned.

"You actually think you can beat me? How amusing…" Arackaiser sneered.

Leo raised an eyebrow. "Amusing? Have you not been paying attention? We've been wiping the floor with you! We've destroyed, like, dozens of your ships by now, disabled your superweapon, and my sidekick the Aura Kid is about to fulfill his destiny and kill your three avian cronies! From where I'm standing, you've _already _lost!"

"…Sidekick? Since when is Ash your sidekick?" Pikachu asked incredulously. "If anything, you're _his_ sidekick!"

"Hush now, don't ruin my fantasies," Leo grunted out of the side of his mouth.

"And again, from where _I'm_ standing, you couldn't be more wrong!" Arackaiser retorted. "You have caused me some setbacks, granted…but only because you brought the entire Justice Force and Team Turtle to back you up, and even _with _them you have yet to truly finish me! I'd say the fact that one of my minions has already succeeded in killing one of your own indicates you aren't quite through with me yet!"

Everyone started at this. "What? O-one of the others is _dead?_" Pikachu gasped.

_And who are Justice Force and Team Turtle?_ Dawn asked, even more confused.

"I think they're supposed to be all of us," Pikachu said.

_Ah,_ said Dawn. She frowned. _Then why is our team called Team _Turtle?

Pikachu glared at Leo. "That is a very good question…but not nearly as good as which of us is allegedly dead, Arackaiser! I mean, Chobin! Ugh, now they've got me doing it…"

Arackaiser grinned. "Why, I'd be happy to tell you, Zapurai…it was none other than that bloated shambling corpse, Count Toxin!"

Pikachu stared at him blankly. "Who?"

"I think he meant Vladimir," Leo said.

"Oh," Pikachu said. He sighed in relief. "Well that's okay then, he's already dead!"

_Undead_, Dawn corrected.

"Whatever," Pikachu said. He paused, and frowned. "…Why is my superhero name 'Zapurai?'"

"The Count may have been dead before…but he's even _deader_ now, thanks to the fool sacrificing himself to save that barking mongrel of his!" Arackaiser taunted.

Pikachu stiffened. "Then…then Vladimir's actually…" He blinked, shocked. "But…but Cherry said none of us were supposed to die. She…she _said_…"

Dawn closed her eyes sadly. _Even oracles can be mistaken._

Leo furiously smashed his fist against the console. "Graaaahhh! That's the last of my friends you kill today, you bastard!"

"On the contrary, he was but the _first_," Arackaiser crooned. "And I expect your body count to be rising very shortly."

"Oh yeah? And how do you expect to do that?" Leo demanded. "You're stuck in that tin-can of yours! No mobility, no weapons, no _nothing_, and we're just about ready to wipe out the rest of your forces!"

"Oh Titan, you should know by now how easy it is for the tides to turn…" Arackaiser snickered. "Yes, I'll admit you do indeed seem to have me trapped and completely helpless…but you forget that you've left me with my most dangerous weapon of all!"

"The ability to shoot webs from your butt?" Leo taunted.

"My MIND!" Arackaiser retorted, stomping towards one of the Nihilators, who like the rest of the crew had been staring at the profound transformation the deranged Sunflora had undergone in complete bafflement. "Out of my way, fool!"

"Uh…" the Nihilator stammered, uncertain what to do. Where exactly did Chobin rank on the Nihilator hierarchy? Was he someone to obey, or ignore? What precisely was he supposed to do in a situation where a superior officer—or the pet maniac of a superior officer—was overtaken by a split personality that seemed to believe he was a supervillain? He glanced at O. The Shiftry, just as confused, shrugged helplessly.

"I said, OUT OF MY WAY!" Chobin shouted furiously, shoving the Nihilator aside with strength far beyond that of an ordinary Sunflora, much to the evil Pokémon's surprise. "Zhu Bajie, eliminate this fool for his insolence!" There was a long pause. Everyone stared at him blankly. Eye twitching, Arackaiser whirled on Viers. "Zhu Bajie! I said, _eliminate this fool for his insolence!"_

The Emboar blinked in surprise. "Er…are you talking to me?"

"_Yes_, I'm talking to you!" Arackaiser snapped. "Or are there any other Emboars named Zhu Bajie in this command center?"

Viers looked around. As far as he could tell, he was the only Emboar in the command center. "But…my name is Viers," the Emboar insisted.

Arackaiser facepalmed. "Oh, for the love of…did you forget your name _again?_"

"…Maybe?" Viers asked uncertainly.

Arackaiser threw up his leaves in exasperation. "Fine! Your name is Zhu Bajie, you are one of my most loyal—though incredibly thick-headed—minions! Now eliminate this fool for his insolence! NOW!"

Startled, Viers—or rather, Zhu Bajie—saluted. "Y-yes, Lord Chobin—I-I mean, Arackaiser! I obey!" He loomed over the confused and dazed Nihilator lying on the floor, picked him up, and shoved him into his mouth, chewing loudly and causing blood and spit to fly all over the room, much to the disgust and terror of the other Nihilators.

"Good," Arackaiser said, ignoring the gory violence. "And now that that distraction is out of the way…" He walked up to the console the unfortunate Nihilator had been using and rapidly started typing on its keyboard.

Several new windows opened up on Leo's screen, lines of code rapidly streaming across them as they flashed a rather menacing red. Leo's eyes widened in alarm. "What the…is he…no! He can't! That's…I don't believe it! He's hacking my virus!"

"That's…bad, I take it?" Pikachu asked as Leo frantically started typing on his keyboard, more windows popping up and filling up with code as fast as Leo could input it, desperately trying to keep pace with the malicious coding being generated by Arackaiser.

"Oh no, it's not bad…it's terrible!" Leo cried. "If he can hack the source code of my virus, he can purge it from his system…which means he'll be able to regain full control of the Arachnoblast!"

Pikachu's eyes widened in alarm. "That is terrible."

"Not only that, but if he's good enough to crack my virus, he might even be able to break down the firewalls and security programs I've set up on our end to keep the ships we've commandeered out of Nihilator control!" Leo said, fervently typing as sweat rolled down his face. "And if _that_ happens-"

"Then he can reactivate those killswitch things and kill us all?" Pikachu guessed, face going white.

"Or take over the helm so he can crash us into the ground remotely!" Leo said. "Or hold us in place while he orders the other ships to blast us to smithereens!"

_Speaking of which, why haven't the other ships started shooting at us?_ Dawn asked.

"Partly because we haven't done anything suspicious yet, and partly because I currently have us transmitting an 'A-OK' signal to them to let them know that, despite us crashing into the bridge, everything's fine and dandy over here," Leo explained, eyes locked on his screen.

"But if Arackaiser regains control of the ship, that signal stops, and we're shooting Psyducks, I take it," Pikachu said.

"Yep," Leo said, biting his tongue anxiously as he continued his frantic typing.

_But couldn't…whoever is in charge over there have just told the other ships to shoot at us by now?_ Dawn asked.

"No, my virus is jamming his communications systems," Leo said. "But that'll only last as long as the virus does, so if he gets rid of it, he can tell everyone to start shooting."

Pikachu frowned. "How much of that could we withstand?"

"Well, quite a lot, actually, since this is a capitol ship, but if he gains control of us he can lower our defenses, and then we'll be toast," Leo said.

Pikachu considered this for a moment. "Then…let me see if I have this right. Right now, Arackaiser is trying to hack your virus so he can regain control of the Arachnoblast, and then gain control of the ships we've stolen through the connection between our systems."

"Uh-huh," Leo replied, not looking away from the screen.

"And you're trying to prevent that by…?" Pikachu prompted.

"Constantly changing the codes and writing new programs on the fly to try and keep him from deleting the virus and getting through to us," Leo said in a strained tone.

_And how's that going?_ Dawn asked.

"Not well," Leo admittedly worriedly. "I'm only _barely_ able to keep ahead of him. Every obstacle I throw in his path, he takes down in seconds. Every attack he makes, I'm _just_ able to repel. I'm…actually not sure how much longer I can keep this up. He may actually be a better programmer than I am. Heck, he's certainly better than Tarantulas!" Sweat continued rolling down his brow. "Say, I don't suppose one of you could wipe my forehead to keep the sweat out of my eyes? I'd do it myself, but I'm pretty sure if I took a hand off the keyboard for even a second he'd completely overwhelm me."

"Uh…Dawn, you do it," Pikachu said quickly.

She stiffened. _What? Why?_

"Because you're my vassal. You have to do what I say," Pikachu reminded her. "You've said as much repeatedly, haven't you?"

She glared at him, wordlessly telling him he would regret this later. _…Very well, Master,_ she said finally, walking over to Leo and reluctantly wiping the sweat off his face.

"Thanks," the Squirtle said in relief.

Pikachu frowned, something Leo had said earlier suddenly clicking in his head. "Wait a minute. Just a minute ago, did you say that this guy may be a better programmer than you or Tarantulas?"

"Well, considering that _I_ was able to crack Tarantulas' codes, which automatically makes me better than him, and Arackaiser is incredibly close to beating me, I'd say yeah, he is," Leo said grudgingly.

"But…Chobin's an _idiot,_" Pikachu said incredulously.

"Yep," Leo said.

"So how can he be a better programmer than you or Doctor Tarantulas?" Pikachu asked.

"He's not," Leo said.

Pikachu blinked. "But you just said-"

"Chobin's not a better programmer than the Doctor or me," Leo clarified. "_Arackaiser_, on the other hand, is."

"…But Chobin _is_ Arackaiser!" Pikachu protested.

"I know. Scary, huh?" Leo said, his sweaty fingers slipping and pressing the wrong key by mistake. In seconds, more and more angry red windows of malicious code started filling his screen, and he shrieked in terror and frantically started typing even faster than before in a desperate attempt to fix the error that his opponent had gleefully just taken advantage of. "Ahhhhh! Crapcrapcrapcrap!"

Arackaiser laughed, his typing rapid but not nearly as fevered or desperate as Leo's. "You're losing steam, Titan. That slip-up was only the first of many. You caught yourself this time…but next time you won't be so lucky!"

O, Zhu Bajie, and a number of Nihilators were crowding behind the delusional Sunflora, staring as he nefariously did battle with the virus infecting their fortress and taunting them with incessant "Yattas" from the speakers. "Amazing…I've never seen anything like it!" one Nihilator whispered as he watched line after line of code stream across the screens on Arackaiser's console, waging war with the obnoxious grinning Squirtle faces.

"Me neither! But…uh, exactly what _is_ he doing?" another Nihilator asked.

"I have no idea, but whatever it is, it's working!...I think," the first one said uncertainly.

O scratched his head in confusion. "He only has two digits. How the heck is he able to type so much so quickly?"

"Because I am Arackaiser!" Arackaiser declared.

O frowned. "That doesn't make any sense."

"Yes it does," Zhu Bajie said. O opened his mouth to protest, and then thought better of it, deciding it wasn't worth arguing about. Especially since he was fairly certain Arackaiser would order the Emboar to eat him if he became too much of a problem. He glanced longingly at Doctor Tarantulas, who was still lying prostrate on the ground. _Things must be really dire if I'm praying for _him_ to get better…but he's probably the only one who can stop Chobin. Arackaiser. Whatever he's calling himself now!_ He frowned. _Then again, whatever he's doing right now seems to be working…but that doesn't mean he's a better psychopath to have in charge than the Doctor, does it?_ He blinked. _Wow. That felt weird to just think._

Leo sighed in relief as several of the angry red windows on his screen vanished, his typing gradually slowing down. "Phew! That was a close one! Uh, Dawn…"

_Right away,_ she said, wiping his forehead with far less reluctance this time.

"Thanks…I'd better be careful, though. Not sure I can survive a second mistake like that one…" Leo murmured, looking concerned.

Pikachu sighed and closed his eyes, knowing he was probably going to regret what he was going to suggest next. "Leo, cut the feed to the Arachnoblast."

Leo blinked, but didn't dare turn away from the screen to glance at the samurai. "Huh? What are you talking about?"

"You can't win. This maniac is too good. He doesn't even have to do much more than outlast you at this point, it's clear to everyone you can't last much longer," Pikachu said.

Leo bit his lip. "Well…yeah, I guess, but…what else can I do? I can't just _let _him win, which is what I'm pretty sure will happen if I stop fighting him!"

"Not necessarily," Pikachu said. "If you cut the transmission or connection or whatever we have linking us to the Arachnoblast, then he can't take control of us if and when he gets rid of your virus, right?"

Leo considered this for a moment. "Well, yeah, I guess, but…if I do that, then he'll regain full control of the Arachnoblast, and can turn his weapons on our friends!"

_Are you certain of that?_ Dawn asked. _Although I don't know much of such things, from what we can see of their control center it looks as if your virus did some significant _actual_ damage. Perhaps it might have weakened their weapons systems as well?_

Leo's eyes lit up. "That's…that's actually a good idea…hold on, let me see…" Without slowing down his frenetic coding in the slightest, he called up some diagnostics on the Arachnoblast. Much to his delight, a number of sections on the three-dimensional representation of the walking war machine were flashing red. "Yes! The virus caused a metric shitload of malfunctions all over the Arachnoblast's systems, and some of those critical failures have damaged the mechanisms they're in charge of. The damage isn't bad enough to completely neuter the Arachnoblast, but its effectiveness and threat level have dropped by a significant percentage! But…that's still enough to hurt our friends…"

"If it's weakened, I'm sure they can handle it themselves," Pikachu said. "You know as well as I do how resilient they all are."

"Yeah, but…" Leo bit his lips. "He said Vlad's dead…Cherry told us nobody was supposed to die today, but now we know that's not necessarily the case. What…what if that nutjob manages to kill one of the others?"

"…If he does, then it'll be on his head, not ours," Pikachu said after a moment. "You're doing all you can now, but it's not going to be enough to stop him completely. If we're going to help the others fight him and keep anyone else from dying, it's going to need to be from another front, because we both know you can't keep this up much longer."

Leo grimaced. "Yeah, I guess…but…what do you mean by 'another front?'"

Pikachu gave him a look, not that Leo could see it. "Leo, wasn't there a _reason_ we decided to commandeer some of the biggest and strongest ships in the Nihilator fleet?"

"…Oh. Duh!" Leo said, smacking himself in the forehead, yelping when several more angry red boxes appeared on his screen. "Ack!" He quickly resumed typing.

Pikachu frowned. "Leo, I thought we agreed you would-"

"Yeah, yeah, just a second, I'm not working on the virus anymore!" Leo said urgently. "Arackaiser's distracted with that right now. With me no longer fighting him he'll be able to clear it from the system in less than a minute, but that gives me _just_ enough time to leave him a little parting gift that should make things just a bit easier for our friends…"

"And…done!" Arackaiser declared back in the control center a few minutes later, leaf hovering over one last key. "With a push of this button, the virus will be purged from our systems, and control of the Arachnoblast shall be returned to me! To steal my nemesis's catchphrase for this special occasion: YATTA!" He pushed the button.

The effects were almost instantaneous. The room stopped shaking, the lights stopped flickering and flashing red and resumed their normal luminosity, the loose wires and cables stopped sparking, the lines of viral code and spinning Leo faces cleared from the screens to reveal their original contents, and the speakers stopped blaring 'Yatta' endlessly. The Nihilators cheered in weary relief. "You-you did it! You regained control!" O said in astonishment.

"Well of course I did, fool!" Arackaiser snorted. "The Arachnoblast is _mine_, and nobody can ever take it from me!"

Speak of the Ruler of Evil… "Ohhh, my aching head…" Tarantulas, also purged of the virus due to being plugged into the Arachnoblast's computers when Arackaiser cleaned the system moaned as he rebooted. "Vat…vat happened? And vhy do I feel like I'm going to puke if I ever hear zat obnoxious Squirtle's catchphrase again?" Discovering he was on his back, he wiggled his legs weakly to try and flip himself over, but he was too disoriented and out of sorts to manage it. "Ugh…Viers! Give me a hand here, would you?" There was no reply. Frowning, Tarantulas glanced at the Emboar. "Viers! I said give me a hand! Get over here and help me up zis instant!"

Zhu Bajie blinked in confusion. "But…my name is not Viers. It is Zhu Bajie. It was Viers once. But now it is not. Now it is Zhu Bajie."

"…Vhat? Vhat ze fuck are you talking about?" Tarantulas shouted, losing his temper…and groaning as his circuits, already taxed from the virus it had just suffered, overheated and made his head feel worse. "Ohhhh…Ruler of Evil, I am not in ze mood to deal viz zis…look, whoever ze Abyss you are, get over here and help me up already!"

Zhu Bajie looked to Arackaiser for instructions. "Er, Lord Arackaiser?"

"Oh, very well, go help Spydor up, I suppose he could use the assistance," Arackaiser said disinterestedly.

Zhu Bajie saluted. "Yes, Lord Arackaiser!"

Tarantulas' eyes widened in alarm when he heard this. "V-vait…Arackaiser? Oh no, not _again!_" he moaned as Zhu Bajie grabbed him by the legs and pulled him onto his belly.

"Again? You mean this has happened before?" O asked incredulously.

Tarantulas sighed. "Unfortunately…in retrospect, considering how many ozzer disorders he has, it's not really much of a shock zat Chobin has MPD as vell. I'd hoped ve'd seen ze last of zis personality, however, after ze battle at ze Tree of Beginning. I guess not…"

"I…see. Is there anything we can do to snap him back to…er…his other form of insanity?" O asked.

"Certainly. Kill him," Tarantulas said. "I'd do it myself but my head hurts too much. I really need to lie down…" He groaned and sank back to the ground.

Arackaiser raised an eyebrow at this. "You're telling them to kill me? Seriously? That virus must have scrambled your processor more than I thought, you've certainly never shown any sign of treachery before. I'll fix whatever that idiot turtle did to you later; I don't have time right now. Ignore that madmon's ramblings; any mon who tries to kill me will have to deal with Zhu Bajie."

"Yes, they will!" Zhu Bajie bellowed, causing the other Nihilators to flinch back.

"Viers, ignore vhatever zat lunatic says and kill him," Tarantulas ordered.

"My name is not Viers. It is Zhu Bajie. It was Viers once, but now it is Zhu Bajie," Zhu Bajie said.

Tarantulas rolled his eye. "Fine. _Zhu Bajie_, ignore vhatever zat lunatic says and kill him!"

"Yes, Lord Doctor Tarantulas!" Zhu Bajie said, turning on Arackaiser.

Arackaiser snorted incredulously. "Seriously? Zhu Bajie, your will is even weaker than I thought. Ignore that order."

"Yes, Lord Arackaiser!" Zhu Bajie said, standing down.

"Zhu Bajie, kill Arackaiser!" Tarantulas commanded.

"Yes, Lord Doctor Tarantulas!" Zhu Bajie said, standing up straight.

"Zhu Bajie, don't kill me!" Arackaiser retorted.

"Yes, Lord Arackaiser!" Zhu Bajie said, sagging back down.

"Zhu Bajie, kill Arackaiser!" Tarantulas yelled.

"Yes, Lord Doctor Tarantulas!" Zhu Bajie said.

"Zhu Bajie, don't kill me!" Arackaiser shouted.

"Yes, Lord Arackaiser!" Zhu Bajie said.

"Zhu Bajie, kill Arackaiser!"

"Yes, Lord Doctor Tarantulas!"

"Zhu Bajie, don't kill me!"

"Yes, Lord Arackaiser!"

"Zhu Bajie, kill Arackaiser!"

"Yes, Lord Doctor Tarantulas!"

"Zhu Bajie, don't kill me!"

"Yes, Lord Arackaiser!"

"Zhu Bajie, kill Arackaiser!"

"Yes, Lord Doctor Tarantulas!"

"Zhu Bajie, don't kill me!"

"Yes, Lord Arackaiser!"

The Nihilators stared in disbelief at this exchange, heads swinging back and forth between the Doctor and Arackaiser as they continued shouting contradictory orders and Zhu Bajie spun in place to face one master then the other, a growing look of confusion and dizziness on his face. "This is starting to feel like one of my ping-pong matches…" O confessed, scratching his head. "Only with words rather than a ping-pong ball."

"Um, sir, is now really the right time for them to be having an argument? I mean, we're sort of in the middle of a battle here," one of the Nihilators questioned.

O blinked. "You're absolutely right! This most certainly _isn't_ the right time for this!" He stepped forward. "Excuse me! Sirs!"

"WHAT?" Tarantulas and Arackaiser shouted in annoyance.

O did his best not to flinch or show weakness. "I don't mean to interrupt-"

"THEN WHY DID YOU?" Tarantulas and Arackaiser yelled angrily.

"W-well, it's just…this doesn't exactly seem to be the right time to be arguing. I mean, don't we have a mission to carry out? Enemy Pokémon to defeat? The vengeful god of the sea and the Chosen One to deal with?" O said.

There was a pause as Arackaiser and Tarantulas considered this. "Mein gott! You actually had enough presence of mind and initiative to interrupt a pointless debate and remind us of vhat's really important! You really _are_ my best friend!" Tarantulas said, causing O to blush.

"…Hmmph. I suppose you have a point," Arackaiser said grudgingly. "Spydor, I'll deal with you later. Zhu Bajie, ignore any further orders Spydor gives you, he's clearly not in his right mind."

"Yes, Lord Arackaiser!" Zhu Bajie said, secretly wondering who Spydor was. So many people seemed to be changing their names today he was having a great deal of trouble remembering who was who. Or even who _he _was…wait, who was he again?

"Anyway," Arackaiser said, turning back to the main screen. "Titan, now that I have regained control of my mighty fortress, watch and tremble as I take back the ships you have stolen from me as…" He paused, noticing that there was no sign of Leo on the screen. "Huh? Where did he go?"

"I think he signed off while you and Tarantulas…or Spydor…or whoever were arguing, sir," a communications officer said.

"And you didn't stop him?" Arackaiser demanded.

"They signed off from their end," the officer said apologetically. "And I can't force their system to respond to my hails, it's like they've dropped off the network completely."

"Bah! No matter. I have plenty of other ships remaining that will still heed my orders!" Arackaiser said. "Signal every ship near the vessels Titan and his allies have seized and order them to open fire at once! It's disappointing we won't be able to destroy them in one fell swoop because they'll still have control of their weapons and defense systems, but we can at least make them pay for stealing from me!"

"Yes, sir!" the communications officer said, glancing uncertainly at Tarantulas, who sighed and nodded, his head still hurting too much to want to bother with this. Relieved, the officer quickly sent out the order.

"And now that Turtle Titan has something to keep him occupied for the near future, it's time for us to remove the threat closer to home: namely, the Aura Kid, Lugia, and the rest of the Justice Force!" Arackaiser declared. "Power up all weapons and open fire!"

"A number of our weapons appear to have been damaged due to all the feedback and malfunctions caused by the systems crash instigated by the virus," a weapons officer reported, checking his instruments.

"Irrelevant! Even with those weapons out of commission, we still have enough firepower remaining to destroy them twice over!" Arackaiser said. "FIRE!"

"Yes, sir!" the weapons officer said, targeting the heroic Pokémon who were currently engaged in either fighting the legendary birds or watching the legendary birds get fought. He pressed the 'fire' button…

And the fortress rocked once again, red lights flashing on various screens. "Oh no, what _now?_" O groaned.

"What is this? What is happening?" Arackaiser demanded.

"Ohhh, I zink I'm going to be sick…" Tarantulas groaned.

The weapons officer stumbled back to his feet and glanced at his console. His eyes widened in horror. "Oh no…sir, there's been a terrible accident! Somehow, our weapons backfired, damaging our structural integrity and killing several dozen crewmon!"

O gasped. "What? That's horrible!"

Zhu Bajie nodded sadly. "Yes, now there are fewer potential meals for me to eat. Since they have been exploded. And things that have been exploded do not taste very good. I would eat them anyway, but I would not enjoy it. Because they have exploded. And things that have been exploded do not taste very good."

"Zat's very insightful, Zhu Bajie," Tarantulas said sarcastically.

"Yes, I thought as much, which is why I said it, because I thought it would be insightful, since it is an insight of mine," Zhu Bajie said. Tarantulas sighed in exasperation.

"What? Impossible!" Arackaiser cried, shoving the weapons officer out of the way and examining his display. "I cleared the virus out of every system on this ship! Everything should be working perfectly, save for the parts that got damaged during the initial crash! What happened?"

As if on cue, an image of a smug Leo appeared on the screen. "Hey, I'm guessing right about now you're wondering why it is that your weapons just blew up in your faces."

"TITAAAAAAN!" Arackaiser shrieked furiously.

"And I'm also guessing right about now you're screaming my name furiously," Leo continued. "Unfortunately, I can't hear you getting angry because this is a recording I embedded into one of your datastreams set to play right after you tried activating your weapons. You see, I knew that you'd find a way to delete my virus, so decided I had to cut and run from your systems before you could find a way into mine. However, as a little parting gift, I planted a program in your weapons systems designed to make your armaments overload and backfire the instant you tried to fire them at my friends! You were too busy dealing with my virus to notice when I planted my sleeper program, and knowing your ego you probably never _dreamed_ that I could sneak something like that right under your nose, so knew you wouldn't think to do a second sweep of your systems after the initial purge to make sure I hadn't left you any little 'presents' on my way out of your dataspace. I would have done more, but sadly, I didn't have time. I'm sure you'll be able to fix the damage I've caused in short order, but that little reprieve should give my friends and I the leverage we need to cream your stooges and take you down for good! I'll be seeing you…sooner than you might think! Yattaaaaaaaa!"

"Curse you, Turtle Titan!" Arackaiser snarled, face red with rage as the recording ended and Leo's grin winked out of existence. "This is _far_ from over! Order work crews to begin repairs of our weapons immediately! I don't want us to be unarmed for any longer than we have to be, especially since our motor functions have yet to be completely restored from the damage caused by the virus!"

"They're starting right away, sir," one of the Nihilators reported as the order was relayed. "Estimated time to completion of repairs is…fifteen minutes."

"Fifteen minutes? That's too long for us to be sitting here helplessly!" Arackaiser said. "Make it ten, or heads will roll!"

"Into my mouth?" Zhu Bajie asked hopefully.

"Possibly," Arackaiser conceded, causing the Emboar to grin happily.

"And in the meantime…" Arackaiser said, inputting a series of commands into the terminal. "Turtle Titan may _think_ he's crippled us…but we still have one weapon left I highly doubt he had the chance to tamper with!" The schematics for a complicated-looking device with three prongs mounted on a turret appeared on the main screen.

Tarantulas gasped. "My experimental Combininator Ray? Chobin, no, it's not ready! No, seriously, it's not ready, I haven't been able to get ze darn zing vorking at all. I've practically given it up as a lost cause."

"And that is why you, my dear Spydor, are my feeble-minded assistant, while _I_ am the diabolical mastermind," Arackaiser said smugly. "And my name is Arackaiser! The fact that you seem to have forgotten this is proof of why my intellect is superior."

"…Okay, you have no idea how many zings are wrong viz zat statement," Tarantulas said, glaring at the Sunflora.

"This will provide the Justice Force and Lugia with something to keep them occupied," Arackaiser said as he rapidly typed on the keyboard, streams of code and complex equations flying across the schematics. "But we will need something to deal with the Titan as well…" While continuing programming with one leaf, he opened a new window with another and started searching through a list of the vehicles currently stored in the Arachnoblast's hangar bays, impressing everyone with his multitasking skills. "Aha! _This _will do nicely!" he said, pulling up an image of some sort of robotic dinosaur.

Tarantulas gasped. "Ze Robo-Groudon Mark II robot battlesuit? Chobin, no, it's not ready!" He paused. "No, vait, actually, I guess it is ready, it's all fueled up and all ze bugs from ze prototype have been vorked out. Never mind, it's good to go."

"Of course it is," Arackaiser scoffed. "And for the last time, my name is Arackaiser!"

Tarantulas rolled his eye. "Yeah, vhatever…oy…my head hurts too much for me to deal viz zis…do vhatever you vant, I don't care…just so long as it kills zose brats so Oblivion's Shadow doesn't kill _me!_"

"I have no idea what paranoid fantasy you're rambling about now, but it matters not, because this weapon will be more than sufficient to destroy the Titan! How fitting that he shall meet his end at the hands of a more advanced model of the machine I faced him in at our last battle!" Arackaiser said as he prepped the Robo-Groudon Mark II for launch.

"I take it you'll be piloting the mecha yourself, sir?" O asked.

Arackaiser gave him an incredulous look. "What? Don't be preposterous, why would I do something like that?"

O blinked in surprise. "Er…because he's your archnemesis or something, so you're sort of…I dunno, expected to face him directly?"

"Yes, this is true," Arackaiser admitted. "However, as much as I would love to crush the Titan and his allies in person, it's clear I'm needed much more here to keep you imbeciles from killing yourselves, seeing as how you're so incompetent you couldn't find your posterior with a flashlight and both hands!"

"Hey! That only happened the one time…" one of the Nihilators griped. Everyone stared at him. He blushed and tried to make himself look inconspicuous.

"It happened to me five times," Zhu Bajie said. Everyone stared at him. He glared back. They quickly looked away.

"Er, so, if you're not going out in the Robo-Groudon, who is?" O asked, disappointed that his attempt to get the madmon out of the control room had failed.

"A good question. It doesn't look as if I'll be able to remote control it accurately from this distance, especially due to the interference from the storm…I'll need a pilot. Someone I can trust. Hmm…" After a moment's thought, he glanced at the Emboar standing beside him. "Zhu Bajie! Do you know how to pilot a giant robot?"

"No, but I beat an arm-wrestling machine at a boardwalk arcade once," Zhu Bajie bragged. "It was easy. Especially since I could use both hands, while it only had one."

"I…don't think you're supposed to use both hands in arm wrestling," O said.

Zhu Bajie blinked. "You aren't?"

"Eh, I suppose that's close enough," Arackaiser said. "Zhu Bajie! Get down to hangar eight and take the Robo-Groudon Mark II to the ship Turtle Titan has stolen from me! Destroy it and kill the Titan, and all who are with him!"

Zhu Bajie stood up straight and saluted. "Yes, Lord Arackaiser! I obey!" He swiveled on one foot and stomped out of the room.

"Hangar eight is ze ozzer vay!" Tarantulas shouted helpfully.

"Yes, Lord Doctor Tarantulas Spydor! I obey!" Zhu Bajie bellowed as he turned around and stomped off in the opposite direction. Tarantulas facepalmed.

"Um, sir, I don't mean to question your judgment, but was he really the best choice for this mission? I mean, he's kind of…stupid. And I'm fairly certain we have dozens of Nihilators better qualified to pilot a giant robot than he is," O said cautiously.

"You're probably right," Arackaiser admitted. "But I know I can rely on Zhu Bajie to follow my orders, while I'm not so certain the same can be said of the rest of you dolts. Additionally, with him off the Arachnoblast, the average collective IQ of everyone onboard will rise significantly, making us less prone to stupidity and moronic mistakes."

"Oh!" O said. "That…actually makes sense."

"Of course it does! As always, my genius is flawless!" Arackaiser scoffed, causing the Shiftry to sweatdrop.

Tarantulas snorted. "Some genius, still trying to get a veapon to vork zat I've been struggling viz for ages. If _I_ can't figure it out, zere's no vay you can-"

"Finished!" Arackaiser said, stepping back from the computer.

"Possibly solve…ze…problem?" Tarantulas' jaw dropped in astonishment as he stared at the lines of code on the screen and the Combininator schematics, which were flashing green. "You…you figured it out? But…but how? HOW? I came up viz ze zing, and I've spent _monzs_ vorking on it, viz no success! How could you succeed vhere I have failed, over and over again?"

"Because I am a GENIUS!" Arackaiser bragged.

"But…but zat's…my job…" Tarantulas said weakly, shocked at how acutely their roles seemed to have been reversed. How had CHOBIN of all Pokémon become the evil mastermind, while he was made into the less intelligent sidekick? He stared at the formulae on the screen, desperate to find some flaw, some error Chobin had made which proved that he was still just an idiot assistant who had no idea what he was doing…but the longer Tarantulas examined the coding, the more he realized that not only did it make perfect sense, it was so complex that even his cybernetically-enhanced brain was having difficulty computing it all! Where had Chobin _gotten_ this from? How had Chobin become so _smart?_

Unaware of his former master's existential crisis, Arackaiser had pulled off a panel on the side of the console and was rummaging around its innards, removing parts and cables and putting them together in new combinations. With a grin, he stood back up, holding a small black rectangular device cobbled together from a mishmash of computer parts hard-wired into the Arachnoblast's systems with a glowing LED screen, a pair of concentric circular buttons, and a V-shaped crest on the front. He grinned as images of the legendary birds appeared on the small screen, and the main screen cleared to reveal the bedraggled forms of the evil avians, targeting reticules appearing over them as an image of the Combininator Ray in the lower-left corner started flashing. "With this, I shall become equal to Arceus and Mew, creating new life, a new species, with my own hands and the power of science! Behold, my minions, as I snatch forbidden fire from the heavens like Prometheus and Giratina of old and take command of a power that could rival the gods themselves! Pokexross! Pokexross! POKEXROSS!" The Nihilators watched in awe as a sinister black light began radiating from the device in Arackaiser's leaf…and Tarantulas stared speechlessly, wondering just what horror his assistant had unleashed. (And wondering why _he_ wasn't the one who was unleashing it instead!)

Outside, Outlaw was hanging upside-down from the side of the Arachnoblast's neck, whistling an (actual) Cybertronian battle hymn as she sawed at the joint between the mechanized fortress's head and neck with her blazing Energon sword. This levity was not appreciated by George, both because she was upside-down as well due to her seat in Outlaw's shoulder and because the hymn was pitched at a high enough frequency to cause pain to canines like herself and was really grating and hard to tolerate. "Ugh…I don't know how much more of this I can take…my head is killing me, and it doesn't help that there's so much blood rushing to it!"

"You know, you can soundproof the cockpit so you can't hear any external stimuli," Sam said helpfully.

"Really?" George asked hopefully.

"Yeah. Too bad it won't help you since you're sitting in her shoulder, and so the vibrations from her body should still carry the noise into your cockpit and keep driving you crazy anyway," Sam said.

Her eye twitched. "Gee, thanks for the help, Sam."

"You're welcome," he said obliviously.

"Why aren't _you_ being driven crazy by this awful row?" George complained.

"Earplugs," Sam said.

"_**Awful row? Bah! You squishies have no comprehension for true culture!"**_ Outlaw sneered. _**"I suppose that's what comes from being part of a civilization that's only a few measly centuries old."**_

"Oh? And how old is _your_ civilization?" George asked in annoyance.

"_**Ten billion stellar cycles, or as you would call them, 'years'" **_Outlaw said proudly.

George blinked. "Whoa. Really?"

"_**That's right. Makes it clear just how short-lived and tiny you squishies are in comparison, doesn't it?"**_ Outlaw asked smugly.

"Remind me, how much of that time period was taken up by the current Autobot-Decepticon war?" Sam asked.

"_**Ten million stellar cycles. Why?"**_ Outlaw asked.

"Ten million years?" George asked incredulously. "That's…kind of a long time to be fighting, isn't it?"

"_**Yes. Glorious, isn't it?"**_ Outlaw asked smugly. _**"I'd like to see any of you organics have a war that lasts that long!"**_

"I'd say more like kind of sad, actually, considering it's been going on _that_ long and yet none of you guys has actually won yet…" George commented.

Outlaw spluttered in surprise at this. _**"I-I…well…look, the Autobots are more persistent than they look, okay? And it doesn't help that they have the fragging Primus-blessed Optimus Prime on their side, who's like the Chosen One or something—the **_**real**_** one, since everyone knows that Rodimus chump just got lucky-and the universe doesn't seem to **_**want**_** him to lose, and whenever he heroically sacrifices himself to save the day he gets conveniently resurrected by the Matrix of Leadership or some other mystical doodad a few weeks later, and even though Lord Megatron seems to have the same thing going for him sometimes—though occasionally he comes back as Galvatron, or insane, or both-it makes it a little tricky to bring an end to the conflict, all right?"**_

"All right, all right, I got it," George said placatingly. "It's just…a really, really long time to fight over something. Do you guys even know _why_ you're fighting anymore?"

"_**Simple. We Decepticons want to conquer the universe and restore Cybertron to glory. The Autobots don't for some reason,"**_ Outlaw said.

"…That's it? Seriously?" George asked skeptically.

"_**Sure. What, that's not a good enough reason for you?"**_ Outlaw asked, getting angry.

"Uh, n-no, it's just…I dunno, ten million years? I figured there was something more than it being so…black and white," George said.

"Red and Purple," Sam said.

"Huh?" George said.

"The Autobots are traditionally red and the Decepticons are traditionally purple. Not _all_ of them, of course, but those are the colors they're most associated with," Sam said. "So it's red and purple, not black and white."

"Ah," George said.

"And to be fair, there _was_ a more complicated reason millions of years ago. The Cybertronian government of the era was corrupt, and the gladiator Megatron and an archivist named Orion Pax joined forces to try and convince the government to grant equality to all Cybertronians," Sam said. "But the bots in power decided that rather than actually doing anything themselves, they'd just make Orion the new leader and let him deal with it instead. Megatron, who'd wanted to be leader himself, got angry and led his followers in a revolution against the government and Orion, who by that point had been given the Matrix of Leadership and renamed 'Optimus Prime'. Everything spiraled downhill from there, to the point where the original cause for the war doesn't even matter anymore," Sam said with a disturbing amount of cheer.

"That's really depressing," George said with a grimace.

"Max thinks it's hilarious, actually. He's been taking lots of classes on Cybertronian history to see if he can trigger a long-lasting civil war like that on our planet for the heck of it," Sam said.

"That's horrible!" said a shocked George.

"Maybe, but it's the first time I've seen him actually take an interest in educating himself in years, so I'm all for it," Sam said, much to her disgust.

"_**One more should do it…aaaand…done!"**_ Outlaw cried triumphantly as, with one final slash from her sword, the tear she had been sawing into the Arachnoblast's neck was complete, causing the fortress's limp head to drop from where it had been hanging and plummet to the ground several hundred meters below, landing with a resounding crash that further deformed the features that were already warped due to the damage she and Ash had inflicted on it earlier. _**"At last, my trophy! A fitting prize to bring home to Lord Megatron…and a lot bigger and better-looking than the scrapheap Lugnut dragged in from his last mission! Especially since we all know his Sparkmate General Strika helped him get it…"**_

"How exactly are you going to drag it back to Cybertron?" George asked doubtfully, recalling how much bigger than Outlaw the Arachnoblast's head was...which, considering the robot car's size, was saying something.

"We have a tow cable in the luggage compartment," Sam said.

"Is that going to be enough?" George asked.  
Sam raised an eyebrow. "After everything you've seen this car do so far, you're wondering if that'll be enough?"

"Point," George conceded.

"_**I find your lack of faith in my abilities disturbing. You're lucky that you amuse me so much or I'd open your cockpit and let you fall to your death,"**_ Outlaw said.

"Um, thanks?" George said uneasily.

There was a loud rumbling noise, and much to their surprise what looked like a large red robot dinosaur with vaguely draconic wings with energy for membranes shot by overhead, heading into the fleet. _**"What was that?"**_ asked the surprised Outlaw. _**"I almost thought it was Grimlock, except he's not that red. And he can't fly. I think."**_

"It looked like a large red robot dinosaur with vaguely draconic wings with energy for membranes shooting by overhead, heading into the fleet," Sam said.

"Actually, that looked more like a Groudon to me," George said in puzzlement. "Except Groudon's supposed to be bigger. And can't fly."

"What's a Groudon?" Sam asked.

"A gigantic ancient legendary Pokémon who created the continents and was sealed away because he kept shaking the planet apart due to his constant battles against his rival/lover, the sea deity Kyogre," George explained.

"Ah. Your typical married couple, then," Sam said. He frowned. "What's a miniature flying robot of a gigantic ancient legendary Pokémon who created the continents and was sealed away because he kept shaking the planet apart due to his constant battles against his rival/lover, the sea deity Kyogre, doing here?"

"_**Let's find out," **_Outlaw said, flipping over so she was hanging from the severed end of the neck. _**"I could always use a second trophy to present to Lord Megatron…and since I didn't get to turn Tarantulas into a pet, maybe I can make do with this one!"**_

"What was that?" Sam asked.

"_**Nothing," **_she said innocently.

"What are you doing? We're going to fall!" George screamed.

"No we're not. Probably," Sam said.

"_**Relax, squishy. I know what I'm doing. Probably,"**_ Outlaw said, keeping her optics trained on the flying mecha receding into the distance. She started swinging back and forth, building up momentum. _**"And a one, and a two, and…"**_ On the next upswing, she ignited the thrusters sticking out of her back and limbs. They roared to life with the sound of a terrific explosion, a plume of fire at least thirty meters long blasting out of the pipes and propelling her into the air as she launched herself off the end of the Arachnoblast's neck and rose upward in a graceful arc, laughing uproariously as George screamed and Sam smiled cheerfully.

"AAAAHHHH! WHAT THE ABYSS?" George screamed incredulously, on the verge of a heart attack. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

"_**Well, I can't fly, so this seems like the best way to go about chasing down that inferior non-Cybertronian robot,"**_ Outlaw said.

"We couldn't have found a safer method? Like, on the _ground?"_ George cried.

"That thing looks like it's flying towards a battleship," Sam said, looking through a magnifier scope in his cockpit. "And since we can't fly, and Outlaw doesn't have a grappling hook for some reason-"

"_**I used to! But then Grimlock ate it…"**_ Outlaw grumbled. _**"And it's harder than you'd expect to get a new one that meets my specifications due to the rather…anomalous nature of my circuitry and Spark, since I wasn't manufactured on Cybertron. A new one has to be built from scratch, and in a state of constant warfare where resources are scarce and usually reserved for those in more desperate need of them—or higher up in the rankings—it can take a while to get a replacement."**_

"You know, I'm still pretty sure we could make you a good enough replacement grappling hook back home," Sam said.

"_**And risk my body rejecting it or getting sick from using outdated and obsolete tech? Preposterous!"**_ Outlaw sneered.

"It wasn't outdated and obsolete for you not so long ago," Sam said.

"_**That was then and this is now! It's Cybertronian or nothing!"**_ Outlaw said stubbornly.

Sam shook his head and gave George an exasperated look. "She's become such an elitist ever since she became a Decepticon. Would you believe she won't even take regular gas anymore? She insists on premium—which is expensive, given the state of the economy back home—when Energon isn't available, and even then only if there's plenty of Destronium sprinkled in it, which isn't easy to come by, let me tell you."

"Uh-huh," George said, having absolutely no idea what he was talking about. "Um, is it just me, or are we about to crash?" she asked in concern, seeing that they had passed the zenith of their jump and were now plummeting towards a battleship.

"_**No,"**_ Outlaw said as she landed on the ship's deck running, the exhaust from her jets continuing to propel her forward as she ran towards and leaped off the other side, rising into the air in pursuit of the red robot. _**"It's just you."**_

"Right," George said faintly. She frowned, a thought occurring to her. "Hey, wait a minute…you can't fly?"

"_**Of course I can't! Otherwise we'd actually be flying, not just leaping really far using the aid of rockets,"**_ Outlaw said.

"But…Sam, didn't you tell me that you could drive her to the bottom of the ocean? And into space? And into other universes?" George said.

"Yep," Sam said.

"_**And many other places, too,"**_ Outlaw commented as she landed on another ship, dashed down its length, and jumped off the end.

"So…you can do all of that, but you can't fly?" George asked.

"Nope," Sam said.

"_**Unfortunately," **_Outlaw said.

"…If you can't fly, then how do you travel into space?" George demanded.

"We drive," Sam said.

"…You…drive into space," George said slowly.

"Yes," said Sam.

"_**Of course,"**_ Outlaw said.

George ground her teeth, took a deep breath, then counted to five before calmly asking, "Then why, pray tell, can't we simply _drive_ to wherever that robot is going?"

"What? Don't be preposterous!" Sam scoffed.

Outlaw nodded. _**"Yes, that would be silly!"**_

George's eye twitched and she laughed in a deranged manner. "Silly. Of course. How foolish of me."

"_**Yes, extremely so,"**_ Outlaw said arrogantly.

Meanwhile, Ash and Lugia were fighting the three legendary birds. (Yes, finally! You've been waiting since the start of this battle for it, and now we're here! Rejoice!) The birds, as you would probably expect, were not doing so well.

"We aren't doing so well!" Zapdos squawked as he was flung end over end backwards thanks to one of Lugia's AncientPowers.

"No, really? You don't say!" Moltres snarled sarcastically as she dodged an Aura Sphere hurled at Ash and breathed a Flamethrower in the direction of the heroes.

Lugia's eyes glowed and the flames harmlessly dissipated before they could reach him or Ash. He opened his mouth and fired a Hydro Pump at the firebird. She automatically boosted her Shadow Aura and dark flames to try and evaporate the water, and was startled when the Hydro Pump punched right through it and washed over her, causing her to plummet screaming as almost all of the flames on her body were extinguished. _Ash, this could be your opportunity!_ Lugia said telepathically to the Lucario on his back.

_Okay. I'm ready!_ Ash said as he stood up and, without preamble, leaped off of Lugia and started falling. Lugia's eyes glowed, and Ash was enveloped in a Psychic aura, the sea god grabbing Ash telekinetically and flinging him in the direction of the falling Moltres. Thinking he was distracted, Articuno and Zapdos struck, lashing out with Ice Beam and Zap Cannon. Lugia's eyes flashed again, and the beam and lightning bolt changed direction in midair, crossing over each other and smashing into the startled legendary birds, engulfing Zapdos in ice and consuming Articuno in a blast of electricity. As they shrieked in agony, Lugia spread his wings, covered his body in a silver aura, and shot forwards at incredible speeds, smashing into the two birds with Sky Attack, his wings catching his opponents on their necks and dragging them along with him as he streaked through the air and smashed them into the side of a battleship with nearly enough force to crack it in half. As they gasped and struggled, Shadow Auras and elemental energies blazing up, Lugia snarled and used his Psychic powers to constrict them, forcing them to cry out in pain as he pressed them harder into the side of the ship and began to crush their bones. He also squeezed their necks as hard as he could with his massive hands, slowly asphyxiating them. "Aauuuuugggh! St-stop! Stop!" Articuno shrieked desperately.

"Stop? You want me to stop?" Lugia growled, narrowing his eyes and exerting more telekinetic pressure on them. "Did you stop when it was made absolutely clear to you a thousand years ago that you had made a mistake and murdered innocent people? Did you stop whenever I or another legendary reprimanded you for your misconduct or other disreputable actions? When your sentence for all of your sins and crimes was finally decided upon, did you stop when you were given a generous period of time in which to consider your past actions and repent in hopes of receiving mercy?"

Zapdos blinked. "Wait…is that…is _that_ why we had to wait so long? I-I thought that…you guys were just dragging it out by making us fret and worry to be dicks!"

"Arceus and Mew are far too forgiving; willing to grant mercy if they believe there is even the _slightest_ chance of redemption!" Lugia snarled. "Time and time and again you have been given second chances, and time and time and again you have spurned them! Were it up to me, your execution would have been carried out a long time ago…but out of love and _pity_ you were given one final chance to clean up your act…and you've squandered it, just like you've squandered every other kindness that has been sent your way! It's because of disgraces like you that many fear and despise the gods!"

"Sure it's not…because you're such high-and-mighty pricks?" Articuno gasped. She found herself regretting that statement when her wing bones started breaking and her neck was on the verge of snapping.

"I'll tell you what," Lugia said with a menacing look on his face. "I'll stop hurting you and allow Ash to kill you quickly and without fuss if you tell me one thing: _**WHERE ARE MY WIFE AND SON?**_"

"Th-those two?" Zapdos gasped, his eyes bulging out of their sockets. "W-well heck, why didn't…why didn't you say so in the first place? I saw them just the other day!"

"Did you now?" Lugia asked, turning his baleful gaze on the thunderbird.

"Y-yeah!" Zapdos said, looking at his tormentor with pained defiance on his face. "Right under me…as I fucked the both of them!"

"And I…and I had 'em next!" Articuno laughed. "And I gave her a much better time than _you_ ever did, with your flaccid little-"

She was interrupted when Lugia's head darted forward and ripped out one of her eyes in his teeth. "AAAAAAAAAHHHH! MY EYE! MY EYYYYYEEEEE!"

"H-holy fuck!" Zapdos shrieked as Lugia spat out Articuno's eye and tore out his next. "AAAAGGGHHH! RULER OF EVIL, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!"

"I am an extremely angry deity who does not like being messed with, especially where his family is concerned," Lugia said coldly. "I will ask you again, and if I do not get an answer I like, I'll take out your other eyes, and then rip off your wings, and if you _still_ don't tell me what I want to know, I'll get…creative."

"Y-you're bluffing! You're not that kind of god!" Articuno stammered desperately as tears of blood seeped from her gaping eye socket.

Lugia gave them a terrifying grin. "You're right. Normally, I'm _not_ that kind of god. But I've just spent the last couple of months stuck in a cycle of suicides following a period of extreme torture, all the while my body has been used as a living weapon by the forces of evil and I have _no_ idea what was done to my family, whom I love more than life itself. So, given the circumstances, I think I'm allowed to lose my temper just this once. Therefore, I will ask you again, and then you will get to know what it feels like to be blind: WHERE. ARE. THEY?"

"Right behind you!" Zapdos shrieked.

Lugia stared at him for a moment. Then he shrugged and said, "Well, looks like you've volunteered to go first." He lunged forwards-

And cried out when a lightning bolt summoned by Zapdos slammed into his back, causing him to shudder and gasp in pain. Feeling his psychic grip weaken, the two birds struck, blasting him with Shadow Fire and Shadow Bolt, sending Lugia flying with black embers and sparks trailing him, allowing them to pry themselves out of the indentations they had made and fly forwards to press the attack, their bones and wounds already mending themselves. "Whadda you say we tear out _his_ eyes now?" Zapdos snarled.

"Oh, I don't know…I'd think he'd want to _watch_ what we're going to do to him…" Articuno said evilly.

As Lugia struggled to recover in time to repulse the birds' renewed assault, Ash plummeted towards the dazed Moltres, the telekinetic shove he'd received earlier sufficient to send him on a trajectory that would intercept the dark firebird. And what would he do when he reached her?

Well, thankfully, Lugia had given him a little help there, too. Just as they had begun attacking the birds, the sea god has telepathically informed Ash of what he needed to do to kill the three birds, since ending the life of a god was rarely an easy feat. However, Ash was the Pokémon with the proper equipment and destiny for the job, so long as he followed the instructions Lugia had imprinted in his brain.

The first time Ash had encountered the birds—and Lugia—in the Orange Islands; he had been tasked to retrieve three treasures from shrines on Fire, Ice, and Lightning Islands as part of the Legend Festival of Shamouti. Once he had gathered all three treasures, the Festival Maiden Melody had been able to play a song on her ocarina that calmed the three birds down, revived the wounded Lugia, and restored balance to nature. To defeat the three birds once and for all, Ash was going to have to retrieve those three orbs once again…only this time, he wouldn't be playing a magical song. They were far too gone to be restored to sanity by something as simple as that. No, Ash was going to have to destroy the orbs, and the birds' power with them.

As it turned out, the treasures were more than pretty glass spheres. They were actually the physical embodiment of the legendary trio's divine elemental power and immortality. Destroying the orbs would strip away the last of their godly might, rendering them fully mortal and vulnerable and denying them any chance of later being resurrected or reincarnated, meaning their deaths would be permanent. Fortunately, Ash wasn't going to have to go all the way to the birds' lairs to retrieve and destroy these gems. According to Lugia, they had been so shaken up after Ash killed them the first time that they decided it might not be a good idea to leave something as important as that lying out in plain sight and swallowed the orbs, absorbing them back into their bodies. When Ash asked why they'd left those things in shrines open to the elements in the first place, Lugia pointed out that they'd never been especially bright, and it gave them an excuse to attack people who set foot on their islands for trespassing and 'theft.' Plus, they weren't exactly easy to destroy, so they'd figured they were safe enough for the most part. (And even safer now that they were inside of them.) Fortunately, between Ash and Lugia it should be a fairly simple task to destroy the treasures as soon as they could get their paws on them.

Therein lay the difficulty. The orbs were inside of the birds, not just physically implanted but dispersed throughout their bodies, their energies permeating every cell of the fallen gods and rendering them immortal and undying so long as they remained inside of them. However, due to his being an Aura Guardian (as well as the Chosen One, which apparently granted him special powers Lugia had only vaguely elaborated on), Ash could use his ability to channel and manipulate Aura to draw that energy out of the birds' bodies, so that it could be destroyed and render the birds susceptible to death. Ash had hoped to start with Articuno, but supposed he didn't have much of a problem with saving her for later. It wasn't as if she was the only one of the birds who had killed Ash's friends, after all.

Seeing he was about to reach Moltres, he flipped over so that when he landed on her gut he did so feet-first, delivering a powerful kick that caused her to gasp and spit out embers. "Gah! Y-you…"

"That's right, me," Ash said as he raised his staff into the air, gathering his power.

"Kill…you…" she gasped, trying to catch her breath enough to spit fire at him.

"I think you'll find it's the other way around, actually," Ash said as he closed his eyes and drove the pointed end of his staff into Moltres' chest at the point Lugia had telepathically instructed him would be the best place to extract the divine essence, a confluence of energy fields and lines of power corresponding to the firebird's nervous system. As her eyes bulged and she gasped in pain, Ash closed his eyes and concentrated. He could see Moltres' Aura, feel it all around him, black with corruption, a fire that burned endlessly and consumed everything good that it touched. However, now that he knew what he was looking for, Ash could see something else amidst the flames: faint threads of light, burning yellow and orange and crimson like real fire, laced all across Moltres' body, veins of pure energy untainted by the darkness burning all around them. There were several points where the threads crossed to form brilliant convergences, and the mass of interwoven lines that Ash had driven his staff into was one of the brightest of them all. Using his powers, Ash drew upon the energy, coaxing it to leave the fleshy form it was trapped in and flow up his staff into the waiting crystal receptacle at the top.

With a quickness and eagerness that surprised Ash, the energy did just that, rushing up the length of his staff and into the gem, causing the Lucario to grit his teeth and wince as his staff heated up, feeling like it was burning beneath his paws…which, given that he was channeling Fire energy, made a lot of sense. Ignoring the heat, he continued to channel the power, ignoring everything else around him…

Which may have been a bit of a bad idea, because he got taken completely by surprise when Moltres smashed into the ground hard enough to crater it. (Hey, they _had_ been falling, after all.) While Ash was safe due to being on top of Moltres at the time, the impact still jarred him and shook his bones, breaking his concentration and causing him to lose his grip on both the staff and the energy he had been channeling. In a flash, the power he'd accumulated so far surged back down the length of the staff and into Moltres' body, renewing her power…and making her _angry_. "You…you rotten punk…you think…you can take what belongs to me? That power is _mine…_and you can't have it! NOBODY CAN!" Her Shadow Aura exploded outwards, causing Ash to cry in pain as it washed over him. Gritting his teeth and struggling to keep his footing so he wouldn't get blown away, he reached out for his staff, hoping to try again…

Except then Moltres exploded for real, flames blasting out from her body and sending Ash and the staff flying, smoke trailing from their forms as they smashed to the ground nearby. Ash lay there for a moment, gasping in pain from his burns and the fires still flickering on his fur, as Moltres rose up, spreading her flaming wings wide as heat poured out from her, washing oppressively over Ash and causing the ground to start melting. She took a deep breath, preparing to immolate Ash with Shadow Fire…

When Lugia swooped down and doused her with Hydro Pump, causing her to shriek in agony and disappear beneath a thick cloud of steam. "Ash! Hang on!" Lugia cried in alarm when he saw the weakened and burnt Lucario lying on the ground. He telekinetically picked Ash and his staff off the ground and used Recover to heal his wounds. "Are you all right?"

"Nnngh…I am now," Ash said as Lugia levitated him onto his back. "I didn't get the elemental sphere thing, though…"

"Were you able to figure out how to do it properly?" Lugia asked.

"Well, yeah, thanks to the lessons you crammed into my brain," Ash said.

"Then it is no matter. We will simply try again," Lugia said.

"Oh no you don't!" Articuno shrieked as she swooped down towards them, firing a Shadow Chill. Lugia spread his wings and quickly took off, barely avoiding the super-cold attack as it struck the ground they had been standing on, froze it, and shattered it.

"Hey! Watch it! That almost hit me!" Moltres, who was standing only inches away from the iced-over terrain the Shadow Chill had hit, yelled up at Articuno. The icebird didn't even bother apologizing. Growling angrily, the firebird reignited and rose back into the air to give Articuno a piece of her mind.

"Whatever you were doing, we aren't going to let you do it again!" Zapdos cried as he flapped his wings, sending a dozen lightning bolts shooting down at Ash and Lugia.

Lugia's eyes started glowing, when Ash thought, _Wait, I've got this one._ Hearing this thought, Lugia relented, allowing Ash to throw his staff into the air. Attracted by the metal, the lightning bolts changed direction ever so slightly and struck the weapon instead of Ash, causing the crystal at the top to flash blindingly as it greedily drank up the electrical power. Crackling with electricity, the staff twirled back down to Ash, who grasped it tightly, ignoring the way the static caused his fur to stand on end; he'd gotten far worse from living in the Thunderblade household, after all. With a warrior's cry, he raised the staff and released the power it had stored, sending a wave of blue-tinged electricity blasting out in every direction. The wave smashed into the bickering Articuno and Moltres, sending them flying. Zapdos, thinking he was immune due to his Electric-type, didn't even bother dodging, which proved to be a mistake when the Aura-charged shockwave crashed into and flung him away as well.

"Well done!" Lugia said approvingly. "You are well on your way to becoming a true master of Aura!"

"Yeah…I think I'm getting the hang of this thing," Ash said as he twirled his staff. _But will it be enough to purify my heart?_

_Not yet, but it will be,_ Lugia replied.

_Gah! Don't do that! I get enough of that from Briney!_ Ash complained.

_Yeah, I'm the only guy around these parts who gets to snoop into everyone else's minds without permission. Shove off!_ Briney said telepathically.

_Actually, I think I can too, since I'm sort of a god and all…oh, wait, I'm not supposed to be talking to you guys. Er, pretend I was never here!_ Darkrai said.

_Yes, I _do_ think it would be very nice of Leo if he were to…oops, wait, you guys aren't Lily! Sorry, wrong number,_ B said.

Ash and Lugia sweatdropped. _I don't know who that other voice was—though it sounded familiar—but just before her, was that Darkrai? _Asked the confused Lugia.

_Er, yeah,_ Ash said.

_What is he doing in your head?_ Lugia asked.

Ash paused, realizing he had not told Lugia everything about his friends…or their connection to Darkrai, and the dark god's machinations. He was pretty sure he was still cursed to die if he brought the subject up, but hadn't tested it for obvious reasons. He decided to play it safe. _Um, it's complicated. I'll explain later. Maybe,_ Ash said.

…_Ah,_ Lugia said vaguely, dissatisfied with this answer.

"That was painful," Articuno groaned as she recovered.

"The Abyss? Why do so many of these guys have electric attacks that can hurt me? I'm a fucking thunder god! Lightning should make me STRONGER!" Zapdos shouted.

"You guys! When he had me pinned down, he was trying to use his Aura voodoo mojo juju houdun whatsis to try and extract my treasure!" Moltres yelled to her siblings.

They gave her weirded-out looks. "He was trying to _rape_ you? Uh, I know he wants to kill us, but I'm pretty sure something like that isn't on his agenda," Zapdos said.

"And besides, who'd want to rape you, anyway?" Articuno said skeptically.

"Lots of guys want to rape me!" Moltres insisted, causing Ash and Lugia to choke.

"Oh yeah? Name one!" Zapdos said.

"Chobin!" Moltres said.

"Please, Chobin doesn't count, he'd do _anyone_! And anything! He's…kinda disgusting like that…" Articuno snorted.

"Well…okay, what about you guys? You'd do me, wouldn't you?" Moltres asked desperately, causing Ash and Lugia to choke again.

The other two birds gave Moltres a doubtful, appraising look. "_Maybe_," Articuno said reluctantly. "If it was dark. And I was really drunk. And I mean really, _really_ drunk."

"I guess I might, if there was absolutely nobody else available, but I'd have my eyes closed and pretend you were someone else the whole time," Zapdos said. "And even then, I'd still probably get more enjoyment out of pleasuring myself."

Ash gagged. "Okay, I really didn't need to hear that."

"Neither did I. Would you like me to erase that from your memory?" Lugia offered.

"Would I!" Ash said eagerly.

_Eh, I suppose I could do without that, too,_ Briney said.

_Same here. Oh crap! Shouldn't have spoken up! Um, I was never here!_ Darkrai said.

_So the next time you get Leo to yourself, you should find a way to get that shell off him and…whoops, wrong number again!_ B said.

_Will all of you get out of my head?_ Ash shouted.

_No,_ Briney said.

_I'm not in anyone's head. Dammit! Why can't I keep my mouth shut?_ Darkrai groaned.

_Then you take off his glasses, look into his eyes, and…what? Seriously? How do I keep getting this number? Ugh!_ B complained. Ash facepalmed.

"Ash was not trying to rape anyone!" Lugia bellowed, trying to drown out the voices in Ash's head as well as the arguing from the birds.

"We _know_ that, duh," Zapdos said, rolling his eyes.

"Yeah, we can practically smell the virginity on the kid. I doubt he even knows how he'd go about raping someone even if he wanted to," Articuno said.

"H-hey!" Ash said, flushing.

"Can we stop _talking_ about this already? Look, this is important! He wasn't trying to rape me, he was trying to steal my treasure!" Moltres said.

They stared at her blankly. "I'm pretty sure you lost your virginity a few million years ago-" Articuno started.

"NO, NOT _THAT_ TREASURE! MY ELEMENTAL ONE!" Moltres screamed furiously. "YOU KNOW, THOSE GLOWING SPHERE THINGIES? SOURCE OF ALL OUR DIVINE POWER? THE THING THAT, WITHOUT, WE'D LOSE OUR IMMORTALITY AND GODHOOD AND COULD _DIE?"_

"Ohhh. _Those _treasures," Zapdos said. "Okay, that makes a lot more sense; you should have said that in the first place." Moltres' eye twitched.

Articuno blinked. "Wait, he was trying to take yours? But…if he can do that, he can take ours too, which means…he'd be able to kill us for real! Permanently!"

Moltres facewinged. "THAT'S WHAT I JUST SAID!"

"Oh, right," Articuno said.

"We're not letting you take our treasures!" Zapdos snarled. "We absorbed them for precisely that reason, so that neither you nor anybody else could use them against us!"

"A surprisingly clever move for the three of you," Lugia quipped. "One which will fail to deter us for long, I'm afraid, since Ash knows precisely how to remove them from you!"

"He can only do that if he gets close to us, though…which isn't something we're going to allow!" Moltres said, flaming up.

"It won't be as much fun to kill him from a distance…but if it ensures we don't get killed, I'm all for it!" Articuno said, ice swirling around her.

"And then we can extract whatever treasures remain inside your gizzard after we've fried you to a crisp!" Zapdos squawked, lightning crackling around him.

Shadow Auras blazing, they fired their Shadow Fire, Shadow Chill, and Shadow Bolt all at once. Lugia instantly raised a spherical shield around him, grimacing as the Shadow attacks slammed into it, the sphere trembling and starting to press inwards as the powerful blasts drove their force into it, forcing Lugia to hold his wings out to either side to keep it from shrinking any further. "Ash…I can repel this on my own, but if you could lend me your power, it will go the better for both of us!" he grunted.

"No problem!" Ash said, closing his eyes, body and staff glowing as he channeled Aura into his weapon. When the crystal at the top started to glow, he cried out and thrust it upwards; slamming it into the roof of the sphere at the same time that Lugia's eyes flashed and he released a terrifying roar. The sphere took on an azure incandescence and exploded outwards, ripping the Shadow attacks apart as the curved walls rapidly expanded out from Lugia and slammed into the birds, shoving them back as it continued growing and smashed them into the surrounding battleships, which were themselves torn apart as the barrier continued expanding through them too until they finally shattered in a tremendous cerulean blaze. As the three birds reeled from the explosion, blue flames trailing from their forms, Lugia rose from the epicenter of the blast and began spinning in place; wind wrapping around him to create a white Whirlwind…and then it became a _blue_ Whirlwind when Ash ignited his Aura inside of it, causing the tornado to be consumed in blue fire. The birds flapped with strength fueled by desperation as the blue tornado spun, sucking them towards it. They frantically fired attacks into the shaft of the cyclone, but much like Shadow Lugia's previous tornado attack, the whirlwind simply incorporated these elements into its mass, causing bolts of lightning, balls of fire, and shards of ice to swirl up its shimmering height. They gulped in alarm at this…

And then Zapdos got an idea. "Wait…he's not the only one who can use Aura! Let's show him what we're capable of, too! Hyaaaaaahhhhh!" Shadow Aura blazed up around him, and he stopped fighting against the wind, shooting towards the Whirlwind.

"Hey, that's not a bad idea!" Articuno commented, quickly following suit.

"Glad I thought of it," Moltres said as she wreathed herself in black flames and surged after the other two birds.

They vanished into the flaming walls of the blue tornado. As they added their Aura to that of the one comprising the cyclone, the flames began to turn from blue to purple, seething and roiling chaotically as the conflicting positive and negative energies clashed against each other, the other elements making up the tornado going wild due to the rage of the three deities who held power over them. Delighted with the transformation they had wrought, the trio soared through the eye of the storm, heading for Ash and Lugia…

Only to find, much to their surprise, that nobody was there. They had to quickly pull up to keep from crashing into each other when they converged in the center and realized their targets were absent. "What?" Zapdos said in confusion, looking around. "Where…where did they-"

It was at that moment that an Aeroblast pierced the heart of the tornado, engulfing it—and the birds—in a tremendous explosion. "Nice trap," Ash commented from atop Lugia's back several hundred meters away as they watched the tornado shred itself apart in fire and uncontrollable elemental energies, the charred and smoking forms of the three birds twirling haphazardly through the air.

"Thank you. I knew they couldn't resist something like that," Lugia said with a smirk. "Now…let's take the fight to them!" Folding his wings to the side and his plates to his back, he shot upwards towards the dazed and beleaguered birds. Ash held on tightly to Lugia and pressed himself closer to the sea god's back as they accelerated, the wind blowing his fur and ears back as they went faster and faster.

As they approached Moltres, who was still too stunned from the blast to even notice their approach, Lugia's eyes glowed as he telekinetically took hold of Ash and flung him at Moltres like a missile. Ash ignited his Aura as he shot through the air, leaving a trail of blue flames in his wake as he raced towards the firebird. He crossed his arms over his chest, his staff in one paw and Metal Claws growing from his other, and cried out as he swung them outwards just before he could crash into Moltres, leaving an X-shaped cut in her chest that flashed and exploded in a blaze of blue Aura that both caused Moltres an unfathomable amount of pain but flung Ash backwards, arms and legs tucked into his chest as he curled into a ball and flipped end over end through the air. Moltres didn't even get a second to catch her breath, however, before Lugia slammed into her with Dragon Rush, shattering her rib cage completely. As she gasped, he opened his mouth and blasted her with a point-blank Hydro Pump, engulfing her completely in water and all but extinguishing even the strongest of her flames. Not content to leave it at that, he formed an AncientPower sphere in one of his massive hands and smashed it into Moltres' already damaged chest, not even flinching as it exploded in his fingers and sent Moltres tumbled towards the ground, blood and lava flowing from her many wounds. He grinned savagely at this before turning and flying after Ash, who was falling towards Zapdos.

The thunderbird had managed to recover some of his strength by then, and shrieked furiously as his electrical aura blasted out from him, lightning crackling in every direction. Unfortunately, Ash was used to such displays of electric power by now due to his adopted family, so simply ground his teeth and flung his staff downwards like a javelin, piercing Zapdos right through his open beak and causing its end to tear out through the back of his head, which had the twin effects of hurting the evil god a LOT as well as causing the staff to begin absorbing his electrical power, causing the nimbus around him to diminish and allowing Ash to continue his approach without fear of being electrocuted. Ash formed Aura Spheres in both paws, then slammed them together to create an even larger Aura Sphere, then hurled it downwards, the energy ball expanding as it shot towards Zapdos until it actually dwarfed its intended target. The explosion when it impacted against the dark thunderbird was suitably impressive, and served not only to propel Ash back upwards but also knocked the staff out of Zapdos' beak, flinging it towards its master, who reflexively caught it without even looking back. Zapdos' pain did not end there, however, as now it was Lugia's turn, and the sea god took great relish in increasing it by forming a Psycho Boost ball of Psychic energy in one massive hand and shoving it down the thunderbird's throat, the resulting explosion tearing a giant hole through his midsection that went all the way out his back. As Zapdos' beak gaped open wordlessly in pain, Lugia's eyes glowed and fired rainbow-hued Extrasensory beams right into the thunderbird's eyes, the Psychic blasts tearing through his brain and out the other side, leaving a pair of holes drilled right through his skull behind as the severely injured (But not dead! Immortal, remember?) thunderbird fell from Lugia, who looked upwards and flew after Ash, who was approaching Articuno.

The icebird had had enough time by this point to recover most of her strength, and had gotten to see what had been done to her siblings. Understandably not wanting the same fate to happen to her, she spread her wings wide and screeched, flapping down and flinging a wall of Sheer Cold at Ash that would freeze even the Steel-type Aura Guardian solid. At least, that's what she hoped. Those hopes were, of course, in vain, when Ash simply strengthened his Aura, drew back a burning fist, and with a great cry _punched_ the Sheer Cold, blue flames blasting out from around his paw and disintegrating the icy attack. "N-no!" she cried in disbelief, remaining eye bulging wide. "That's not possible! You can't stop a Sheer Cold by _punching_ it!"

"I can, and I did!" Ash snarled as he continued shooting towards her. "And that's not all I'm going to punch through!"

"Ha! Too slow!" she cried triumphantly as she managed to dodge out of the way just before he could slam into her. "Take this!" She swung her wing to the side, intending to knock Ash away.

She did not expect Ash to grab onto the bony part of her wing before he could get flung away from her, gritting his teeth from the pain and the super-cold radiating from her body as he dug his claws into her arm to anchor himself. "I'll take…more than that!" He raised his staff into the air and brought it down as hard as he could on her wing, driving the pointed end through the elbow joint.

"AAAAAGGGHHH!" she shrieked as her wing stiffened and she began to fall, flapping her other wing frantically to try and slow down her descent. "Not again! I just regenerated that wing from our last fight!"

"You won't get a chance to get a new one by the time I'm done!" Ash said, flipping himself off of Articuno's wing and landing on her back, wrapping his legs around her neck and ignoring how frost started forming on his fur and how very uncomfortable his sensitive parts were getting.

Articuno's eyes widened in alarm as she felt Ash tighten his legs around her neck. "Wh-what are you doing? If you try anything up here, we'll _both_ fall!"

"That's right," Ash said, raising his staff in the air. "But unlike you, I have a working pair of wings waiting to pick me up! That's what's good about friends…you've _always_ got someone there to watch your back!" With a cry, he thrust his staff downward, driving its tip into the back of Articuno's skull. The ice bird screamed in agony, her eye bulging in its socket, her working wing faltering…

And then she began to fall. Ash ignored this, ignored the sensation of vertigo, of the wind rushing through his fur, of disorientation as Articuno's body turned end over end so it became difficult to discern land from sky. He blocked out all of this, closing his eyes and concentrating only on the flow of energy coursing through the evil goddess's body, gently coaxing and persuading the divine power permeating Articuno's form to split away from the cells they had attached themselves to and flow up his staff. His knuckles turned white and his teeth started chattering as his staff grew colder and colder, ice beginning to form around its shaft and his paws, but he ignored it, refusing to allow his focus to be broken again. He would see this process through to its end, no matter what. He was so focused on his task that he didn't even notice Lugia fly up and use his telekinesis to stop Articuno's descent, leveling her out and giving Ash as much time and uninterrupted quiet as he needed to finish what he had started.

Thankfully, he only needed a few moments more to complete his task. There was a flash of light as the motes of energy that had been forming in the crystal atop Ash's staff coalesced together to create a pulsating mass of blue light. Ash's eyes flew open, and he blinked a few times, feeling rather light-headed and a little weak in the knees from the amount of exertion he had required to pull off this latest feat. "Whew…that was…interesting…" He blinked again when he noticed Lugia was flying next to him. "Huh? Lugia? When'd you get here?"

"Not too long ago. Congratulations, Chosen One! You have retrieved the first treasure!" Lugia proclaimed.

Ash blinked and looked at his staff. "Huh? Oh yeah, I guess I have…huh. That was certainly different from how I got it the last time. I seem to remember there being a lot less blood." He put one paw on the side of the crystal. The spherical mass of energy gravitated towards his palm, and when Ash removed his paw from the side of the gem, the energy came with it, phasing through the wall and crystallizing upon exposure to the air, becoming a clear blue sphere with a flickering shapeless form of light in its core. Ash looked at it for a moment in wonder, his Aura-senses allowing him to see that it was far, _far_ more than just a pretty bauble. "So what do we do now?"

"Now we-" Lugia started.

"DIE!" the recovered Zapdos shrieked as he rose behind Lugia, spitting a Shadow Bolt.

Lugia reflexively swung Articuno's suspended form around, using her as a Pokémon shield to absorb the blast. "Now we fall back and prepare to claim the next treasure!"

"Sounds good to me!" Ash said, ripping his staff out of Articuno's head and backflipped off of her, landing on Lugia's back. Lugia telekinetically flung Articuno into Zapdos, knocking him back and allowing Ash and his mount a few moments to get away and catch their breaths.

"Gah! Get off! You're bleeding all over me!" Zapdos yelled angrily as he shoved Articuno off of him.

"They…they got it…" she gasped, flapping her healthy wing fervently as her wounded wing and the gaping hole in the back of her head slowly healed themselves, but not as quickly as they usually did.

Zapdos blinked. "Huh? Got what?"

"My…my treasure…" Articuno wheezed.

Zapdos gasped in horror. "What? No! If they have it, then that means they can kill you! Which I don't personally care too much about, but if they can kill you, then they can kill ME! We can't allow this to happen!"

"No, we certainly can't!" the recovered Moltres agreed, flapping up to join them. "This has gone too far! We need to end this, NOW!" Her siblings nodded in agreement.

"So, what do we do now that we have this thing? Smash it, and then kill Articuno?" Ash asked, glancing at the pulsating crystal in his paw.

Lugia shook his head. "It would be unwise to do so until we have all three. Remember what happened the last time the birds' power was unbalanced?"

Ash grimaced. "Yes."

"Well, it'll be worse than that, now that they have the power of Shadow. Imagine the storm over our heads growing until it covers all of Sinnorre. That's the sort of disaster that could occur if we destroy one treasure without having the other two at hand. The disruption of the elemental power of ice will cause a reaction in the powers of fire and thunder as they try to compensate, resulting in a climactic disturbance that could potentially kill millions of Pokémon and render this continent lifeless," Lugia explained.

Ash shuddered. "I get the picture. So we need to get the other two first, _then_ go about smashing them. And then we can kill them?"

Lugia nodded. "While theoretically we could kill Articuno now, her spirit would still be bonded to the Ice treasure, which would make destroying it and allowing its power to pass on to a new ice deity…problematic. To allow the succession of power to a new—hopefully more stable—elemental trio to proceed without too many complications, we have to go about doing this the right way."

"There are procedures for this sort of thing, huh?" Ash asked.

"Sadly, yes. We had to lay them down during the Crisis Wars. A few too many of our kind went bad and needed to be put down…and even after the war was over, some of the scars on our consciousnesses never fully healed," Lugia said sadly. "It may surprise you to hear this, but the three birds were not always as they were now. Once, they were among my closest friends, veritable paragons of virtue."

Ash gave him an incredulous look. "What, seriously?"

"Just about all of us were. Even Giratina," Lugia sighed. "But then came the Ruler of Evil, and even though not all of us were swayed by its honeyed words, the horrors of the war that followed were too much for some of us to handle…including the birds." He shook his head sadly. "War makes monsters of us all."

"…I'm sorry," Ash said.

"It was a long time ago," Lugia said, shrugging it off. "We must do what we can to prevent another war from taking place."

"Yeah, too bad that's not gonna happen!" Moltres said as she and the other two birds flew into view.

"The Ruler of Evil's return cannot be stopped! The armies of the Abyss will march on the Celestial Heavens once more, smash down the gates of Core, and tear Arceus from his throne!" Zapdos sneered. He had considered adding that they would rape the shit out of Mew too, but wasn't sure she wouldn't enjoy it.

"Even if you manage to kill us—which I really hope you don't—the Ruler's return is inevitable. The wheels are already in motion, and have been for quite some time. Even if you win this day, you'll lose soon enough to the evil that's coming!" Articuno added.

"Perhaps that is so. Perhaps we will lose should the Ruler rise again on that darkest of all possible days. But even if that is the case, that day is not today," Lugia growled. "And it is not the Ruler of Evil who stands against us this day, but three godlings too foolish to comprehend how far they have fallen. That much, I think, is well within our capabilities."

"And even if we _do_ lose against the Ruler of Evil—which _won't_ happen—you won't be there to see it," Ash added. "When you die, you aren't going to the Abyss. You aren't going to join the ranks of the damned for their assault on heaven that you're salivating over. The three of you will cease to exist…and I rather doubt you'll be missed."

"You're making one very big assumption," Zapdos said. "Namely, that you're going to kill us today."

"I would say it's a perfectly reasonable assumption, considering your success rate—or lack of—so far. Not to mention that it was _written_ that Ash would slay you…and so it shall come to pass, no matter what you have to say on the subject," Lugia said.

"Maybe so, but just because something's written doesn't mean it can't be _re_written," Articuno pointed out.

"Or crossed out!" Moltres added.

"Even if that's true, I don't think you're powerful enough to do something like that," Ash said, getting a little worried this metaphor was dragging on too much.

"No, but Oblivion's Shadow is," Articuno said.

"He gave us the power of Shadow…and with it, the chance to reshape our destinies!" Zapdos said.

"To create a future where we no longer have to live in fear of you! A future where we will NEVER DIE!" Moltres declared.

Ash narrowed his eyes. "That future is never going to happen."

"We say otherwise!" Articuno said as she and the other two birds opened their mouths, Shadow Auras flaring up as they fired their dark Tri Attack in unison.

Lugia scoffed as the black triangle shot towards him, growing larger and larger by the second. "Please. If that attack was useless against me when I was a Shadow Pokémon, what makes you think it'll be any more effective now?" He opened his mouth and fired a full-power Aeroblast. The attack smashed right through the Tri Attack as if it were tissue paper and kept on going, much to the birds' horror. They tried to scatter, but the Aeroblast overtook them, smashing into them with overwhelming force and carrying them along with it as it blasted through what looked like fifty battleships (but was actually thirty-five) before finally culminating in a terrible explosion upon striking the fifty-first (thirty-sixth).

"Wow! Good distance!" Ash complimented, squinting as he tried to make out the distant and battered figures of the birds as they struggled to fly out of the explosion.

"That should have gone further, actually, I must be tired from all the other fighting I did when I was…er…battling your friends," Lugia grunted in annoyance.

"If this is you tired, I'd love to see you at full strength!" Ash commented.

"Oh, you will soon enough…after we've taken care of these louts and finished your current mission, I will be more than happy to turn my full wrath against the Shadow and those who stand beside him!" Lugia said.

"And I'll be right there with you!" Ash said. "No way I'm missing out on that!" _Here's to hoping by then I've gotten a good enough grasp on my temper to keep from losing it when I see him again…_

_I'm sure you will, and if not, I will do my best to help you regain your composure,_ Lugia promised telepathically.

_Thanks,_ Ash said.

_Good, that'll mean I won't have to kill him if he starts to turn dark,_ Briney said.

_Briney, get out of my head!_ Ash yelled.

_No,_ Briney said.

Ash sighed. _Fine…at least Darkrai and B are gone._

_Hmm? Did somebody say my name? _Darkrai said. …_Dammit!_

_Don't mind me, Ash, I have Lily on the other line. Want to make this a conference call? Then maybe you can help me convince Lily to deflower Leo!_ B said.

_De-what?_ Ash asked in confusion.

_Make him not a virgin anymore,_ Lugia explained.

_Oh,_ said Ash. _…Ew._

_I take it that's a no?_ B asked in disappointment.

_B, is now really the time? _Ash asked in exasperation.

_Who is B, and why does her voice sound so familiar?_ asked the confused Lugia.

_Well, no, I suppose not…_ B admitted. _And I'm Lily's imaginary friend whom you've certainly never met before. Hi!_

_Er, hello?_ Lugia said uncertainly.

_Back on subject…B, you're barking up the wrong tree,_ Briney said. _Considering it took him _this_ long to admit he had feelings for the girl he was clearly in a semi-romantic relationship with and had already adopted three children that very clearly considered them their parents, is Ash really the right Pokémon to ask for relationship advice?_

_Hey!_ Ash said indignantly.

_Hmm, when you put it that way, you have a point,_ B admitted.

_Yeah, definitely, Ash is the worst possible person to talk to about something like this,_ Darkrai agreed.

_I'm afraid I must agree. Ash has no idea what he's doing in the relationship field, which has caused him far more grief and humiliation than he really needed,_ Lugia said.

_Lugia! You're supposed to be on my side!_ Ash said angrily.

_Sorry Ash, but they're pretty much right. You could have solved quite a lot of problems if you had simply admitted your feelings for Misty sooner,_ Lugia said apologetically. Ash groaned miserably. Did _everyone _have to give him grief about that?

_Yes,_ Briney said.

_Will you stop that?_ Ash demanded.

_No,_ Briney said.

_Hey, not that I don't find this hilarious—which I do—but you might want to get back to kicking the birds' tailfeathers, they're coming this way and they look pissed,_ Darkrai said. _Oh, uh, and I was never here._

_Who said that?_ Lily asked.

_Nobody,_ B said.

_Lily, how did you get in here?_ Ash demanded.

…_That is a very good question,_ said the confused Misdreavus.

Lugia did his best to block out the confused and annoyed babbling going on in the back of his head and instead focused on the birds streaking towards them, contrails of Shadow rippling out behind them. His eyes glowed. Without warning, two dozen battleships abruptly were wrenched out of the air and collided with the trio, causing them to disappear in a tremendous explosion. Lugia quickly raised his spherical barrier as the blast rushed towards them, grimacing slightly as the shockwave and flames impacted against his shield, but held strong in spite of it, riding out the storm until the sound and the fury died down, the smoke clearing to reveal a gaping crater torn in the desert floor, a trio of blackened lumps lying sizzling at the center of it. One of the lumps coughed out soot and weakly rasped, "I…am getting so…fucking tired…of getting hit by battleships…can't they think of…something more original…for a change?"

"Wow," Ash said. "Could you control more than that when you're not tired, too?"

"Actually, I was lying about the tired part to make myself sound tougher, that's pretty much my limit," Lugia admitted.

"Oh," Ash said. He frowned. "We sure have torn up a lot of battleships during this fight…just how many are there, anyway? How is it we haven't destroyed the entire fleet at this rate? What, are new ones constantly warping in every second or something?"

"You're asking the wrong Pokémon. Just because I served them unwillingly for a time doesn't mean I have all the answers," Lugia said.

"Leo probably would," Ash said. "But now's probably not the best time to ask him that, since he's busy capturing a bunch of Nihilator ships and screwing over Tarantulas."

"I wish him luck with that. Now come! Let us finish them off!" Lugia said.

"Sounds good to me!" Ash said. They began gliding down towards the crater the apparently defeated birds were languishing in.

As Ash and Lugia made their approach, Ash's friends looked on from a safe distance. "That was so cool!" Zippo said for like the millionth time.

"You've said that already a million times," Ritchie pointed out.

"It was true before, and it's true now!" Zippo enthused.

"Yeah, the lad has a point. Bet you wish you could be part of something that epic," Captain Salty said.

Ritchie stared at him. "…I'm part of a team fighting to save the world from an evil organization of religious extremists and wear holy armor made from one of Arceus' sacred Plates. How is that not epic?"

"Have you ever fought three evil gods at once while riding on a holy god-bird, _without_ any fancy armor to protect you?" Salty asked.

"…No…" Ritchie admitted reluctantly.

"Then it's not epic enough," Salty said smugly. Ritchie ground his teeth.

"Sorry I'm not epic enough, Daddy…" Cruise apologized.

"It's all right, Cruise, you're more than good enough for me!" Ritchie assured Cruise, though secretly he found himself wishing he could ride on something larger that didn't either require him to hang for an indefinite period of time or sit on spikes.

"I'd let you share my steed, but I'm not sure it could support you since you're not an Electric-type or wearing the Zap Plate," Sparky said apologetically. "At best, you'd fall right through it. At worst, you'd be vaporized from the high voltage."

"Yes, Cruise is more than good enough for me!" Ritchie repeated loudly, trying to convince himself that this was indeed the case.

_Should I be proud that Daddy's so awesome he gets to ride on a holy god-bird…or upset that he's too cool to ride on me anymore?_ Tiny wondered, feeling conflicted.

Todd took shot after shot after shot. "Oh mon oh mon oh mon…I can't believe how much excellent footage I'm getting! Forget the Pullitzer, they're going to have to come up with a whole new prize for the pictures I'm bringing in! Maybe they'll even name it after me!" he gushed.

"They won't," Cherry said.

"…They won't?" Todd asked, face falling.

"No," Cherry said.

"Oh," Todd sulked. "Well…do I at least get a Pullitzer?"

"Mmm…not telling," Cherry said after a moment's consideration.

"What! Why not?" the Aerodactyl whined.

"Because you took pictures of me without my permission and sold them without compensating me, remember?" she said.

Todd grimaced. "You're still hung up on that?"

"Yes," she said flatly. "And I will be for quite some time, until my convoluted revenge scheme is complete. Be thankful I'm not so petty, however, as to let my partner eat you."

Rebecca blinked. "Uh, I don't think I'd eat him. Ever."

"I was talking about him," Cherry said, pointing to her Gastly, who was licking his lips and eyeing Todd hungrily.

"Hmm…I wonder what you'd taste like…" the Gastly said.

"Eeek!" Todd squealed.

"You're not really going to let him eat him, are you?" Rebecca murmured.

"Of course not. I said I'm not so petty as to let him eat him, remember?" Cherry said. "I _am_ going to need to name him, though…I think I'll call him 'Bitey.'"

"'Bitey?'" Rebecca asked skeptically.

"Yes, because he likes to bite things. Much like he's about to bite one of your tentacles," Cherry said. Rebecca whipped her head around and glared at the newly christened Bitey, who was hovering just behind her, mouth wide open and poised to chomp down on one of her tendrils. He gave her a Mareepish grin, laughed nervously, and backed off.

"Huh! What weaklings, they can't even take a few battleships being thrown at them!" Goldor boasted.

"Neither could we. I seem to remember us having to teleport out of there when Lugia tried that same trick on us," Silvia said.

"…Yes…well…at least we were able to hold them _back_ for several seconds," Goldor said quickly trying to save face. "Which is more than they did!"

"We? The way I remember it; it was Bow and I who did most of the heavy lifting," Briney said, raising an eyebrow.

"Wh-what? That's preposterous! We all did an equal share!" Goldor spluttered furiously.

"No we didn't," Buck said. "On account of us being weaker than them and all."

"Quiet boy, the grown-ups are talking," Goldor hissed. Buck rolled his eyes.

"They sure are taking a beating," Dean commented.

"Yes," Bob said darkly. "It almost makes up for us not being able to participate."

"…Bob, you know as well as I do why we can't go over there and help out," Dean said quietly. "And it's not just because the sun is coming through that big hole in the storm cloud, too!"

"You think I don't know that?" the Manectric snarled. "I know there's little we can do to harm them due to our…ranking on the vampiric hierarchy. But…Zapdos killed the Count. Master Vladimir sacrificed himself to save my life. What good is this new lease on unlife he has granted me if I'm not even strong enough to avenge his killer?"

Dean closed his eyes. "…Bob, I'm hurting too, and I wasn't even there when it happened. But I felt it in my heart, just like you did. I want to make those birds pay too, and I'm just as upset as you are that there's nothing we can do to avenge the Count."

"Do you?" Bob growled. "You weren't even there when he died! You said it yourself!"

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I don't _care_, Bob!" Dean snapped angrily. "He was my master too, you know!"

Bob's anger faded. "…I am sorry. You are right. We were all connected, so you felt it just as I did. Your loss is no less than mine."

"Yeah…" Dean sighed unhappily. "The thing is…I didn't even _like_ him very much. So why do I have to miss the big lug so much?"

"He was our master. In this world, so far from the Mistress, he was all we had," Bob said sadly. "Could he have been a better master? Perhaps, but he could have been a lot worse, too. And in the end, I believe he finally understood what it meant to be our leader…to take responsibility for our safety." His face fell. "Although…I cannot help wondering if he made a mistake in saving me. We are far weaker without him than we would have been if he were still here."

"Yeah, well…if he had let you die, I think…I think I would have lost any respect I still had for him," Dean confessed after a moment. "I mean, I would've still obeyed him—not like I had a choice—but I would've hated and resented him every step of the way. But…what he did…it hurts, yeah, but, in some way, I think I'm grateful, because now I'm not the only serf-class vampire around. I have someone I can relate to, a…well, a friend. You didn't really count as one before since you were just a dumb mutt, but now that you've been uplifted, well…I'm not alone anymore."

Bob blinked in surprise, and then gave the other vampire a grin. "I'm happy to be your friend as well, Dean. We may be lesser without Vlad…but together, we can still fulfill our mission, and make sure his sacrifice was not in vain."

"Impressive!" Fantina commented. "Zis is not ze first time I 'ave seen gods fighting—and I doubt it will be ze last—but somezing about zis feels…I don't know, different, wouldn't you say, daughter?"

"Maybe its because we're watching from ze sidelines razzer zan 'elping out?" Bow suggested wryly.

"Well, yes, zere is zat," Fantina admitted.

Lily blinked. "You've seen gods fight before?"

"Oh yes, lots of times," Fantina said. "Sometimes for ze honor of my company, but more often due to some trifling and inconsequential matter. Trifling and inconsequential to _us_, anyway. You know 'ow gods can get out of sorts about ze silliest zings, zey can be like children sometimes. Or archmages. Sometimes I'm not sure zere's a difference."

"Oh," Lily said vaguely. "Um…well, do you think we should join in, then, rather than watching from the sidelines?"

"I for one would rather not, I don't mind having a break after everything we've gone through so far today," Butler said. "I will, of course, be more than pleased to rejoin the battle if it is the Duchess's wish."

"'mm…no, I don't zink zat will be necessary," Fantina said. "It looks so far to me as if Ash and Lugia 'ave everyzing well in 'and."

"Well, of course he does! Daddy's the greatest!" Tiny said loyally.

"No, my Daddy is!" Cruise said just as loyally.

"Which of our fathers is riding around on a holy god-bird?" Tiny asked pointedly.

"Mine has holy armor!" Cruise said defensively.

"And is hanging from your underside," Tiny retorted.

"…Yeah…well…" Cruise said awkwardly, not sure how to counter this.

"It's okay, Cruise, I'm fine hanging here," Ritchie lied. "I could do this all day," he lied again. "I don't mind not being able to ride Lugia," he…oh, you get the point by now.

"Um…I could shed a few of my husks to carry you, if that would be more comfortable," Happy offered.

"No, no, that won't be necessary, I'm perfectly fine where I am," Ritchie said stubbornly. Naturally, this was a lie too. (Wasn't that against the Aura Guardian code or something?)

"Well…I know he's doing all right, but I still feel a little guilty, hanging back here like this," Lily confessed. "I know Cherry said Ash should handle this on his own, but…we're his friends. As Leo said once, it's when a hero is certain he has to continue by himself that he most needs his friends to stand by him."

"That sounds like the sort of thing Zippo would say!" Rose said fondly.

"Um, babe, that's because I _did_ say it," Zippo said.

"Oh…right…" Rose said awkwardly.

"Don't worry, if it looks like things start to go badly for Ash or Lugia, we'll step in to help out," Palmer assured Lily.

"Heck, if they take too much longer, I might just go and involve myself anyway, I'm getting bored and could use some more fighting," Briney said.

Goldor stared at him incredulously. "You're insane!"

Briney shook his head. "No, I'm Briney, although there's some who'd say there isn't much of a difference. Those are the people whom I punch in the face, just so you know." Goldor gulped.

Sparky nodded. "Yes, we don't want to see him hurt anymore than you do! He's our friend too, after all!"

Lily smiled gratefully. "Thank you, all of you. It's a great relief to hear that."

"I don't zink you 'ave anyzing to worry about anyway," Fantina said reassuringly. "Ash and Lugia look as if zey 'ave everyzing under control, and if my guess is right, zey're only moments away from ending ze battle. Unless somezing were to 'appen in ze next few minutes zat could drastically change zat—which I find 'ighly unlikely, since Cherry would have predicted it if zat were ze case—I zink it's smoozh sailing from here."

"…Oh, you did _not_ just say that!" Zippo cried in horror.

Fantina blinked as everyone else gave her worried and alarmed looks. "What? What did I…oh dear. I just tempted fate, didn't I?"

"Don't worry, everyone, it's nothing to worry about, the future still looks the same to me, and I rather doubt anything's going to happen to change—gaaaah!" Cherry clutched her head in pain.

Rebecca gasped in horror and rushed over. "What's wrong?"

"Ugh…migraine…the future is…changing!" Cherry gasped.

"Yep, called it," Zippo said.

"But how?" Silvia cried as everyone started murmuring worriedly—except for Briney, who was rubbing his hands together eagerly. "I thought we'd accounted for everything, and that Tarantulas didn't have anything left that could affect your foresight!"

"Tarantulas doesn't, but he's not behind this," Cherry moaned, stroking her head. "This is something…unexpected and unpredictable, something I could never have foreseen, something wild and chaotic, born from a mixture of utter madness and sheer stupidity…and something like that is almost impossible for even the best of oracles to accurately predict! By which I mean me, since I am the best."

Rebecca rolled her eyes. "You're so modest."

"No she isn't!" Bitey said.

"I was being sarcastic," Rebecca said.

"Ohhhh," Bitey said, nodding in comprehension. He stared at her blankly. "I have no idea what that means." Rebecca facetentacled.

Briney threw up his hands in exasperation. "Oh great, what did Leo do now?"

"What makes you think Leo's involved?" Lily asked in confusion.

"'A mixture of utter madness and sheer stupidity.' That ring any bells?" Briney drawled.

"HEY!" Lily shouted, flames igniting around her in anger. "Don't you DARE talk about him like that! I know he's not exactly the most normal of Pokémon, but that doesn't give you any excuse to accuse him of-"

As if on cue, Lily, Tiny, and Briney's badges crackled. _"Uh, guys?"_ Leo's voice said timidly from the communications devices. _"We, uh, might have a problem."_

"Told you," Briney said smugly.

Lily gave him a look of consternation. Briney didn't flinch. Then Fantina hovered behind Lily and gave him a worse one. He grimaced and backed away. Satisfied, Lily changed her focus to her beau. "Leo, what's wrong?"

"_Well, um…remember Chobin?"_ Leo said.

"Doctor Tarantulas' depraved sidekick who may be even crazier than the Doc and has to have every mental illness known to Pokemonkind?" Briney said.

"_Actually, he doesn't have ADHD,"_ Leo corrected.

"Wow. Our mad scientist's sidekick, Silverbolt, is nothing like that," Zippo commented.

"Why, what's he like?" Buck asked.

"Very noble, honorable, and polite to a fault. A true gentlemon and knight," Sparky said.

"And really handsome," Happy said, blushing. "Too bad he's only got eyes for that skank Doctor Blackarachnia…"

"He's a pretty decent guy. If he weren't one of our enemies, I think we'd actually be good friends," Ritchie commented.

"It doesn't sound as if this Chobin is anything like Silverbolt, though…" Rose said.

"_That is an understatement,"_ Ash, who was on the line as well, said.

Lily made a face. "Ugh. Yes, I remember Chobin. Mother always kept us far away from him whenever we were collaborating on a project with Tarantulas because he seems to have a tendency to rape anything female in sight. Or male. Or genderless. Or inanimate. Or pretty much anything, actually."

"…'mm. I guess I should be zankful she was looking out for your virtue," Fantina said grudgingly. "Alzough it's more likely she just wanted you to remain a virgin so you would be better able to serve as a summoning catalyst for Giratina."

"You know, if you took up our offer to come to ze local Temple of Mew back 'ome, we could fix zat in a snap," Bow said slyly to Lily, who blushed.

"Th-that won't be necessary," she stammered.

"And it might not change anyzing anyway. I didn't say it would make 'er useless as a catalyst, just zat she's more effective in 'er current state," Fantina said.

"Oh," Bow said, looking disappointed.

"_I'm working on something that might be able to fix that, actually, but that's supposed to be a surprise so I shouldn't talk about it right now,"_ Leo said.

"That's very generous of you Leo, thank you," Lily said, while everyone else exchanged knowing looks. "Anyway, Mother's attempts to keep our exposure to Chobin to a minimum didn't keep my sister from taking a…fancy to him. Back home she has a shrine made from photos of him doing illicit acts, remnants of his meals—both physical and sexual—some of his spoor, and several body parts harvested from his myriad corpses. I think she had several fully intact ones she kept as dolls, too." She made a face. "Mother never let _me_ have any toys…"

There was a long, disturbed silence as everyone processed this. "Well," Palmer said after a moment. "That is something I most certainly did not need to hear."

"Well, now I know she's insane," Bow said, looking disgusted. "I knew she shared some of 'er mozzer's depravities, but…to make somezing like _zat_ for a 'orrid little troll like Chobin? Eugh…at least Bellum 'as _taste_ in her boy-toys!"

"Okay, who wants to forget ze last minute or so ever 'appened?" Fantina asked brightly.

"ME!" just about everyone said.

"_We do, too!"_ Pikachu said desperately over the badge.

"Sorry, I can't cast ze spell on you from so far away," Fantina said apologetically.

"_Wonderful," _Leo groaned_. "Oh well, at least Ash is stuck with this in his head too, since I called him up as well."_

"_Actually, Lugia can just erase that memory for me,"_ Ash said.

"…_I hate you," _Leo said coldly.

One quick memory spell later, and the horrific image Lily had put in everyone's minds was completely forgotten. "So, what about Chobin?" Briney asked.

"_And can you make it quick? Lugia and I were in the middle of something," _Ash said.

"_Trust me, this is important. Remember Chobin's alter ego, Arackaiser?"_ Leo said.

"Who?" Diane asked.

Lily gasped. "Not Chobin's evil(er) split personality based on his online persona who's not only more intelligent and competent than Chobin himself—possibly even more so than Doctor Tarantulas—but is so delusional that he believes Leo is actually _his_ online persona, Turtle Titan, Arackaiser's arch-nemesis, and that the rest of his acquaintances are people from the same MMORPGs that Chobin and Leo both frequent!" Everyone stared at her. "What?"

"Wait, you mean you guys weren't making that part up when you told us about your adventures?" Happy asked in disbelief.

"Of course not. What, is it really that hard to believe?" Briney asked with a straight face.

"Dude, that's so cool! As it coincidentally turns out, Silverbolt's also _my_ online rival, but as far as I know he doesn't have any split personalities," Zippo said.

"_Arackaiser's back?"_ Ash cried in alarm. _"How can that be?"_

"_I, uh, have absolutely no idea and am almost certain it had nothing to do with Chobin hearing my catchphrase—which is the same as Turtle Titan's, his archenemy—too many times, triggering his repressed memories and causing his Arackaiser personality to resurface from his subconscious and take over,"_ Leo said.

"What did I tell you? All Leo's fault," Briney grunted as Lily made a pained expression.

"I take it this is the 'mixture of utter madness and stupidity' you were talking about that changed the future?" Dean asked Cherry.

"Yep, that'd do it," the Duskull said solemnly.

"So, why is this a problem?" Goldor asked. "I mean, yes, it's rather…unusual, but you disabled the Arachnoblast, so it's not like this mad(der)mon can do anything, can he?"

There was a long silence. _"You…did disable the Arachnoblast, right?"_ Ash asked anxiously, saying what was on everyone's mind.

"_Oh yeah, totally! He, um, just…ah…figured out how to un-disable it…"_ Leo said. Everyone groaned. _"But don't worry! I've done my best to stall him, so you should have a little time—I don't know how much—before he gets the thing fully operational again! If you attack now, while he's still defenseless, you might be able to take him out before he can do any damage."_

"_We'd help, but we're sort of in the middle of a firefight right now,"_ Pikachu said. _"That, and according to these readings, something blasted off from the Arachnoblast and is coming right towards us. It looks like some kind of…mechanical Groudon."_

"_Oh, not another one of those!"_ Ash groaned.

"Robot Groudon? You guys weren't making that up either?" Todd asked incredulously.

"Of course not. What, is it really that hard to believe?" Briney asked with a straight face.

"Do you think Arackaiser or Chobin is in it?" Lily asked.

"_No clue," _Leo said. _"If it is, though, we may have hit a lucky break. If not, he's still on board the Arachnoblast. Either way, it's only a matter of time before that thing starts moving again, so you need to start attacking it before it's too late!"_

Ritchie nodded as everyone (with some reluctance, because they'd been enjoying the break from all the fighting) prepared for battle. "We're on our way!"

"_What about Lugia and I? Do you want us to turn around?"_ Ash asked, his tone clearly indicating he really didn't want to do that.

"_Keep on going. You have your role in this fight, and we have ours!"_ Dawn clicked. _"You lost your opportunity to slay one of the birds yesterday. Do not give up another! This could be your final chance!"_ Palmer closed his eyes quietly, sympathizing with Dawn, who was clearly still hurting about how they had also failed to slay their nemesis yesterday. If only that she-devil Shivhel hadn't interfered!

"_Got it. Lugia, let's finish this!"_ Ash said.

"_With pleasure!"_ Lugia replied.

"Cherry, since ze future's changed, do you 'ave any idea what we might be up against?" Fantina asked in concern as the other members of Team Aurabolt signed off and the rest of them made for the Arachnoblast.

The oracle shook her head apologetically. "My head's still pounding too much due to the temporal-causal shift. I need a few more minutes until my second sight clears enough to let me see what the future holds."

"Sort of like how when you have a hangover, you need a while to recover before you're good for anything much?" Salty asked.

"Exactly, except it's nothing like that at all," Cherry said. Salty sweatdropped.

Fantina sighed. "Zen I guess all we can do is 'ope we can stop 'im before 'e can do anyzing drastic. After everyzing zat's 'appened today, we don't need anymore surprises."

Unfortunately, a surprise was exactly what they were going to get. Just as Ash and Lugia reached the crater and the other heroes started for the Arachnoblast, Arackaiser made his move. A hatch on top of the Arachnoblast opened up and a tall metal spire rose up. Cracks split open down its sides, and the spire unfolded into three prongs surrounding a glowing power core. The weapon swiveled down on its mount, pivoting to point at the three birds lying in the crater. With an ominous hum, the core powered up, energy crackling up the lengths of the prongs and gathering at the tips. With a high-pitched whine, the device fired three beams of light; one red, one blue, and one yellow, lancing out and striking the three birds, which arched their backs and shrieked in unimaginable agony as incredible power surged through them.

Lugia reared back in alarm as he came to an abrupt stop, nearly throwing Ash off. "What? What deviltry is this?" he cried in surprise.

"Whoa…what…what's happening?" Ash asked in confusion as the energy striking the birds caused spheres of colored light to form around them. "What's going on?"

Lugia's eyes widened in horrified realization as the spheres began to levitate into the air, the figures of the birds vanishing as the colors opaqued. "No…it can't be! This energy…I _know_ this energy! I haven't seen anything like it in millennia!"

"What? What is it?" Ash asked, Lugia's clear worry making _him_ worried.

"They're…_combining!"_ Lugia cried.

Ash's eyes bulged. "They're _what?_"

The three colored balls started spinning rapidly around each other. "ARTICUNO!" the blue one shouted.

"ZAPDOS!" the yellow one shouted.

"MOLTRES!" the red one shouted.

Without warning, they slammed together into a single purple orb. "POKEXROSS!"

The sphere exploded. Ash and Lugia were flung back as a pillar of Aura rose up before them, stretching from the ground to the stormy skies above…but unlike the pillar of blue Aura that had been created when Ash had purified Lugia, this pillar was composed of solid black Shadow Aura. The earth shook, fissures running out in every direction from the base of the roaring pillar, noxious fumes and evil purple light seeping out of the cracks. Powerful wind blew away from the pillar, buffeting Ash and Lugia and any nearby battleships, as if whatever composed the pillar was so foul that the air itself was desperate to get as far from it as was Pokémonly possible, making a sound not unlike an agonized scream as it gusted past Ash's ears. The hole in the clouds made by the purifying pillar of Aura sealed up, thrusting the land back into darkness as the storm somehow became _worse,_ the elements churning and clashing chaotically in new combinations that blasted down from the sky to rend the ground and anything in its path; flaming balls of hail, lightning bolts made of ice and fire, electrically-charged drops of acid rain, and other weather phenomena unlike any the world had ever seen. But worse than all that was the sense of sheer _wrongness_ emanating from the pillar, as if whatever was inside it was so vile, so evil, so abominable that it had no place in this or any other world. A deep feeling of dread rooted itself in Ash's heart, and it was all he could do not to throw up. "No…this…this is wrong…this shouldn't be happening…" he whispered.

"No," Lugia said in quiet agreement. "It shouldn't. And yet…it is. Does this Arackaiser even begin to realize what forces he has unleashed, I wonder?"

"If he's anything like his boss…I rather doubt it," Ash said.

A dark figure took shape within the pillar, a void so black that even the darkness surrounding it seemed bright as day in comparison. There was an ear-splitting, brain-melting, heart-bursting _shriek_ and the pillar exploded outwards, the shockwave vaporizing the nearest battleships, reducing the ground to toxic slag, and even with his force field at maximum capacity boosted by Ash's Aura, Lugia only barely managed to withstand the onslaught of Shadow. When the tide of evil energy finally died down, they were able to behold the horror that had been born from the Nihilators' mad science.

Six wings spread from its sides; two made of solid ice with sculpted feathers, two made of crackling electricity, and two made of roaring flames. Three streamer-like tails waved down from its rear, one a river of ice, one a zigzagging whip of lightning, and one a serpent of fire. Three legs sprouted from its lower body, each ending in a set of six talons clumped into groups of two to make it seem like they were each a single overlarge talon, the claw tips spikes made of ice, lightning, or fire. Its chest, coated in purple feathers that jutted outwards like spikes, had a gaping cavity in its torso with elongated barbed ribs crisscrossing over the hole like bony claws or teeth, three throbbing heart-like organs visible beating through gaps in the ribs. One was blue, one was yellow, and one was red. Oddly, the blue heart's pulse was slow and somewhat unsteady, while the other two beat rapidly. In addition, the red and yellow hearts were glowing with a sickly light and emitting sparks and embers, while the blue heart wasn't doing much of anything. Numerous jagged zigzagging spikes made of bone and metal and ice grew from its back, black flames of Shadow Aura burning around each one. Its head was a truly gruesome sight, for it was not one but three fused together in some sort of sort of garish mockery of a bird's head. Picture the heads of Articuno, Zapdos, and Moltres growing from the new avian's neck, but rather than sitting side by side like a Dodrio, they were clumped together so that their beaks formed a tripartite orifice, with the heads attached to the respective beaks at odd angles from one another; with Zapdos on top, and Articuno and Moltres' heads at the eight-o-clock and four-o-clock positions respectively were their face that of a clock rather than that of a demonic bird. As their six eyes glowed evilly, plumes of elemental energy streaming back from their crests, the tripartite beak opened, revealing their hollow interiors were filled with teeth framing a circular, fang-lined orifice. It screamed, and Ash's heart skipped a beat as he felt like the whole world screamed with it. "Uh. Wow," the Lucario said after a moment. "That's a new one."

"Would that it were for me as well…I have seen unholy fusions such as this before, but not for so long that I had hoped the technique to create such an abomination had been lost to the ravages of time. Clearly this is not the case," Lugia said solemnly. "That fool has no idea what he has just done…"

"_Sacre bleu!_ I 'ave seen uglier, and I 'ave seen more powerful, but even so…what a beast!" Fantina gasped.

"My friends don't like it…zey say it is an abomination," Bow whispered in horror.

"That's one word for it," Butler commented as Diane made a face next to him.

"My spirits say the same thing…very loudly," Rebecca said with a wince.

"I really wish I could have seen this thing coming," Cherry moaned, rubbing her still-aching head. "I might have even broken my cardinal rule and tried my hardest to keep it from happening…because I think a migraine might actually be preferable to this! Albeit, not by much." Rebecca sweatdropped. Bitey briefly wondered what the monster tasted like, and then decided it probably wouldn't be very good.

"Oh no…Ash…" Lily said anxiously.

"Hmm. Looks like we might get our hands dirty after all," Briney said eagerly.

"Good to know we aren't done fighting yet," Salty said just as eagerly.

"Wonderful! And I thought they were bad when there were just the three of them!" Goldor groaned.

"Yes, and that thing is far uglier than Shadow Lugia was!" Silvia complained.

"…What, is that what you're worried about? That it's ugly?" Buck asked in disbelief.

"_Very_ ugly!" Silvia emphasized. Buck sweatdropped, but had to admit she had a point.

Tiny gasped in horror. "Daddy!"

"Suddenly I feel a lot better about my Daddy hanging from my underside rather than being out there," Cruise commented. Tiny glared at him.

"Cruise, that's not very nice," Ritchie said although privately he agreed.

"Well, that certainly makes a climactic endboss for this adventure," Zippo commented.

"That thing is an atrocity bordering on outright blasphemy…" said a disgusted Sparky. "The Nihilators are practically spitting in Arceus' face! Have they no shame?"

"I don't think so, no," Rose said.

"I'm pretty sure that was a rhetorical question," Happy said.

"Oh," Rose said.

"Such a formidable opponent…I'm not sure training ever covered how to fight something like this…" Palmer murmured to himself.

"It's just one thing after another, isn't it?" Bob groaned.

"Well, look on the bright side, at least the sun's not shining anymore…because the giant evil storm has gotten worse…yeah, that's not much of a bright side," Dean conceded.

"Am I the only one who wet himself when that thing roared?" Todd asked.

"Yes," everyone said, though a few of them were lying.

"Yeah, that's what I thought," Todd said. He perked up when he looked at the picture he had just taken. "Oh well, at least I'll probably get the same reaction from the public!"

In the Enchanted Express, the engineers stared blankly at the monstrosity. "Uh, do you want us to ram that thing like we did Lugia?" the Magneton said after a moment.

"I'm…not sure…" the Ampharos said after a moment. Part of her wanted to do just that, even though she wasn't sure the engine would survive. Another part of her wanted to turn the train around and go far, far away.

"Holy shit!" George swore, looking back over her shoulder from inside Outlaw's shoulder as they continued hopping across the battleships.

"Meh," Sam and Outlaw said, unimpressed.

"That thing looks like it could use a good punch to the face. Can't make it any uglier," Bruno grunted.

"I'm not sure you'd get your hand back," Looker commented.

"So? I have three more," Bruno pointed out. Looker sweatdropped.

"Phew! Am I glad we don't have to fight that thing," the Haunter guard said, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Yeah, all we have to worry about is the enormous battle fleet shooting at us, and possibly a giant robot spider," his Grumpig partner said.

The Haunter considered this for a moment. "I think we still have it easier."

"Yeah, you're probably right," the Grumpig agreed.

"Well, there goes my near-zero disaster probability," Sasha said gloomily as Lu cursed up a storm.

_And you were doing so well, too,_ Darkrai said sympathetically.

"Um…well. That's…that's something," Leo said. He coughed awkwardly when he noticed Pikachu and Dawn giving him death glares. "Okay, I know this looks bad, but I don't think we should be too quick to point fingers, I mean, there's no reason to believe that this is in any way shape or form _my_ fault…"

"How is it not your fault? You're the one who caused that maniac to become even more maniacal!" Pikachu shouted furiously, electricity dancing off him and coming dangerously close to shocking Leo.

"H-hey, how was I supposed to know he'd react like that to seeing me?...Again…er, and besides, how do we know Tarantulas wouldn't have pulled that thing out anyway once it looked like he was going to lose?" Leo pointed out. He was wrong, of course, but he had no way of knowing that. Fortunately, neither did his friends.

_If that were true, wouldn't Cherry have predicted it?_ Dawn asked.

"If you haven't noticed, Cherry's accuracy hasn't exactly been one hundred percent today," Leo pointed out. "So it's conceivable something like this could have slipped by her. Again." Again, he was partially wrong, but he didn't know that, and neither did Pikachu or Dawn, which was why he was still breathing.

Pikachu sighed. "I suppose you're right…oh, Ash…what have you gotten yourself into this time?"

_Nothing he cannot handle,_ Dawn said, though she didn't sound too sure about it.

"I hope you're right…" Pikachu said, feeling the same way.

"Well, on the plus side, at least this'll make for one heckuva last boss for this leg of our journey!" Leo said brightly. Pikachu zapped him. "Okay, I deserved that," Leo wheezed as smoke and static crackled off of him.

There was a high-pitched electronic screech as the Arachnoblast's exterior speakers powered up and Arackaiser's maniacal laughter boomed across the battlefield. "GYAHAHAHA! YES! I HAVE DONE IT! WITH MY OWN HANDS, I HAVE MADE A MOCKERY OF THE LAWS OF GOD AND POKÉMON AND CREATED A BEING UNLIKE ANY THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN! (OKAY, TECHNICALLY IT'S NOT THE FIRST THREE-HEADED BIRD POKÉMON, BUT IT'S THE FIRST THREE-HEADED _EVIL GOD BIRD_ POKÉMON, AND IT HAS WINGS, SO THAT MAKES IT DIFFERENT FROM DODRIO. YEAH.) GAZE UPON MY WORKS, YE HEROES, AND DESPAIR, FOR THIS BEAST IS BUT THE FIRST OF MANY! WITH ITS POWER I SHALL WIPE YOU FROM THE FACE OF THE EARTH, AND THEN NOTHING WILL STOP ME FROM DESTROYING MAGIC KINGDOM!"

"Magic what now?" O asked in confusion inside the Arachnoblast control center.

Arackaiser raised an eyebrow. "You know, the magical land rich in wonder and enchantment whose borders we're just outside? The place we came here to conquer?"

"Oh, you mean Fichina," O said.

"Yes, yes, whatever they call it, I don't really care since it won't exist for much longer," Arackaiser said.

"Chobin, ve're here to kill ze heroes and ze escaped vampires, not conquer Fichina! Ve're not equipped for somezing like zat!" Tarantulas protested.

"While I will admit the loss of so much of my fleet has been a bit of a setback, I believe the creation of my new superweapon will more than turn the tide in our favor," Arackaiser said smugly.

Tarantulas was about to argue, but then had second thoughts. That monstrosity _did_ seem pretty strong…so strong, in fact, that the power levels it was giving off had broken the instruments designed to measure energy! (Or had those already been broken due to the power surges caused by that annoying Squirtle's virus? Oh well.) Still, it _might_ actually be able to destroy Fichina…and even though that wasn't in the mission parameters, he was sure Oblivion's Shadow wouldn't object if they managed to destroy the country before it became a threat to their organization. "Yeeeessss…zis just might vork…" he murmured, a grin slowly forming on his face.

"Well of course it will, it's my invention!" Arackaiser bragged.

"_My _invention," Tarantulas corrected him.

Arackaiser ignored him. "With the power of Zapmolcuno under my control, nobody, not even Turtle Titan or the Justice Force can stop me!"

"…Zapmolcuno? Seriously? Zat's ze name you're going viz?" Tarantulas asked.

"It's a fusion of Zapdos, Moltres, and Articuno. Seems like a good enough name," Arackaiser said, looking puzzled.

"Yeah, it does kind of make sense," O admitted.

"Vell, yes, but vere's ze pizzazz? Ze terror? Ze name so horrifying and ominous it makes you vant to run from it? 'Zapmolcuno' doesn't sound even remotely zreatening! It sounds like somezing a hackneyed manga writer vould come up viz!" Tarantulas complained.

"All right, what would you recommend, then?" Arackaiser asked skeptically.

"I dunno, how about…Triple Terror? Or Doombird! Or…um…Elementving?" Tarantulas suggested. He frowned. This was harder than he'd thought it would be.

"Yes, well, you go right ahead and keep thinking up names. In the meantime, I'll just call it Zapmolcuno and leave it at that," Arackaiser said dismissively. Tarantulas gnashed his teeth in frustration.

Ash's badge buzzed, and he tapped it without thinking. "Ash here."

"_Ash! This is Leo! Are you seeing this, mon?"_ Leo said.

"Uh, yeah, I'm sort of right in front of it," Ash said vaguely.

"_Oh, yeah. Well, okay, I know that thing looks really big and nasty and unimaginably powerful and dangerous-"_ Leo started.

"_Leo, you're not helping,"_ Pikachu said.

"_But I've analyzed it with my sunglasses, and although its power levels are a wee bit…ah…alarming, I think I've found its weak spot! What you have to do is-" _Leo began to explain.

"Stick my staff into the red and yellow hearts and extract the elemental divine energy from them?" Ash interrupted.

"…_Yeah. How'd you guess?"_ Leo whined, disappointed he wouldn't get a chance to explain his brilliant strategy.

"They're big, glowy, and kind of hard to miss. Plus, they're brimming with so much power I don't even need to use my Aura-sight to see they're important. Seemed kind of obvious to me," Ash said.

"…_Ha! You're learning! I've taught you well,"_ Leo said smugly.

"_Why does that thought fill me with terror?" _Pikachu moaned.

"_What I would like to know is why the sources of that monster's power are openly visible where anyone can attack them rather than hidden inside of its body. Yes, they're inside the rib cage, but wouldn't it make a lot more sense if there weren't a big hole in its chest practically screaming 'attack here?'" _Dawn asked.

"_Dawn, it's a boss fight. Don't bother trying to bring sense into it,_" Leo chided. The smack Ash heard immediately after was either Dawn facepalming or punching Leo. Possibly both.

"So, aside from how to fight it—which I've already figured out—anything else I should be aware of?" Ash asked.

"_Yes. Its power levels are rising, but at an uneven rate, resulting in rather worrying fluctuations of elemental energy that are causing a negative reaction in the storm that could lead to the outbreak of a supercell, a multi-megaton meltdown, or both!"_ Leo said.

"I didn't understand a word of that," Ash said.

"_What, seriously? I used small words this time!" _Leo complained.

"I understood, and it is as I feared," Lugia said gravely.

"It is?" Ash asked.

"Yes. Do you remember why I told you we could not simply shatter the ice orb now and kill Articuno?" Lugia asked.

"Um…something about it causing an imbalance in the other two?" Ash recalled.

"That's right. Now, look at the monster before us. It's all three of the elemental birds combined…but only the lightning and fire orbs were incorporated into it, even though Articuno herself is still a part of it. Do you see where I'm going here?" Lugia asked.

Ash did. "Without the blue treasure to keep them in check, the power of the other two is going to go out of control?" he said in alarm.

Lugia nodded. "That's right. And if we don't stop it in time, it will cause a chain reaction that will transform the storm overhead into an even _greater_ climactic disturbance that could devastate the whole continent…or an explosion that will destroy everything within a thousand miles. Or both."

"How do we stop it?" Ash asked, cutting right to the chase.

"We continue as planned: remove the essences from inside of them. With the treasures out of their control, the elemental energies will reharmonize and we'll have nothing more to worry about. Well, except for killing that monstrosity, that is, but once we destroy the orbs that shouldn't present too much of a problem," Lugia said.

"Neither should fighting them," Ash said after a moment's thought.

Lugia raised an eyebrow. "Oh? How do you figure?"

"Well, we already have one-third of its power source, meaning it's not as strong as it could be," Ash pointed out. "Plus, we had no trouble fighting them separately. I can't really imagine them being mashed up into a single new Pokémon would make them that much more effective against us, no matter how big and ugly it is, would it?"

Lugia blinked in surprise, and then burst into laughter. "You may have something there, my friend. Let us see if you are correct! If so, this may be less onerous than I expected!"

"_Especially since we'll be coming to lend you a hand, Daddy!"_ Tiny said.

Ash blinked. "Wait, what? I thought you guys were going to fight the Arachnoblast!"

"We were," Briney said as he glanced at Cherry, whose headache was finally gone. "But our oracle's gotten a new vision of the future which implies that we should go and help you, which I personally have no problem with, since it means I get to see if I can punch out another evil god."

"_You haven't punched out any evil gods,"_ Pikachu pointed out.

Briney rolled his eye. "Okay, fine, but I've at least _punched_ evil gods, and a bunch of other things, and lived to tell the tale. That cannot be disputed, right?" He glared at everyone to indicate that they should not dispute him.

Unfortunately, not all his friends were present to see him glare, so proceeded to argue with him. _Well, no, but it's never really done a lot of good, either,_ Dawn said.

"What're you talking about? What about the time I punched Kyogre? I bet I cracked her skull!" Briney bragged.

"_Well, yeah, but you didn't actually defeat her,"_ Leo pointed out.

"_Come to think of it, none of us did, the pirates started beating her up after you showed up, and then we destroyed the Blue Orb, she ate Manaphy, and left without recriminations," _Pikachu said.

Briney frowned. "Hmm, that's a good point. Well, maybe now that we have Lugia on our side we can track her down and finish our fight."

"_Why would we want to do that?"_ Ash asked in confusion.

"The bitch sunk the Peeko XI! She must pay for that!" Briney snarled.

"_But you have a much better ship as a result,"_ Pikachu said.

"Don't care. It's the principle of the matter," Briney said stubbornly. Everyone rolled their eyes.

"_Anyway, I suppose it would be nice to have your assistance," _Lugia said, bringing them back on subject. _"But who will take care of that giant mechanical spider while we are all fighting this monstrosity? Unless your friends with the stolen ships will deal with it?"_

"_Sorry, but no, we're a little busy blasting our way through the bulk of the Nihilator fleet," _Leo said. _"We'll get there, but it'll take some time. And we'll probably have to deal with that robot Groudon coming towards us."_

"_I still can't believe we're actually fighting a robot Groudon…like the real one wasn't bad enough…and this is apparently the _second_ one you've dealt with!"_ Pikachu said incredulously. _"I mean, seriously, who even comes up with the idea of building a mechanical Groudon in the first place?"_

"_Doctor Tarantulas?" _Sasha spoke up.

"…_Point,"_ Pikachu admitted.

"I'd do it," Zippo said.

"_Yeah, me too! Robot dinosaurs are cool!"_ Leo insisted.

Pikachu sighed. _"Of course they are. Of course they are."_

"_I…see,"_ Lugia said slowly, not certain how to deal with the fact that so many of his new allies were completely insane. _"But if you will not fight the giant spider, who will?"_

"According to Cherry, some 'friends' of my team and I are going to show up soon, and they'll take care of the Arachnoblast for us," Ritchie said.

"'_Friends?' Wait, you mean…but I thought they weren't going to be here until later!" _Ash said in surprise.

"Well, looks like later is now," Diane commented.

Sparky nodded. "The latest series of events has stepped up their timetable. They should be here in a few minutes, and while I'm not exactly happy to see them, I suppose it'll be refreshing for us to be…well, not on the same side exactly, but at least not on _opposite_ ones for a change."

"_These do not sound like very good friends…"_ Lugia said, not particularly reassured.

"Well, that's because they're not our friends," Sparky said.

"Although we probably could be, if they weren't obsessed with taking over the world, purging all evil, becoming the mortal incarnations of Arceus on Earth, etc.," Ritchie said.

"…_And these people are going to help us?"_ Lugia asked incredulously.

"Sure! Well, technically they're here to fight us, but since the Nihilators were here first, they'll fight them instead, and we'll sneak off while they're wasting time killing each other," Zippo said. "Don't you just love it when bad guys duke it out, especially when it means none of them are aiming at you?"

"_This plan does not fill me with confidence,"_ Lugia said flatly.

"I admit it sounds kind of sketchy, but Cherry seems to think we have nothing to worry about, and she's the one who can see the future, so…" Ritchie said.

"Oh yes, because she's _never_ been wrong about how this day's turned out before," Goldor said sarcastically.

"You realize that if I'm wrong, there's a high probability of all of us dying, right?" Cherry said calmly.

"…Yes," Goldor admitted.

"Then shouldn't you be hoping very much that I'm right, as I usually am, and that I'm not being misled due to an unforeseen and unpredictable anomaly, which has admittedly happened twice so far but—according to Sasha, who has her own form of precognition—is unlikely to occur a third time?" Cherry asked.

"I…guess…" Goldor said reluctantly.

"Good," Cherry said cheerfully. "Glad that's settled, then." Goldor glowered at her. She ignored him.

"Looks like we'll get to avenge the Count after all, Bob," Vlad said, grinning sinisterly.

"I am most glad to hear that," Bob said, grinning just as sinisterly.

"Well, good luck with that, I'll hang back to take pictures to document your epic battle from a safe distance-" Todd started.

"Oh no you don't, you're coming with us too," Palmer said.

Todd turned pale. "Wh-_what_?"

"Yep, we need every mon we can get our tentacles on…albeit, you aren't much of one," Salty said critically.

"Wh-which is precisely why I _shouldn't_ come! I'll just get in the way!" Todd protested.

"No you won't," Cherry said.

"How do I know you're not saying that as part of your elaborate revenge scheme as payback for me taking illicit photos of you?" Todd accused angrily.

Everyone who had not been in the luggage car that had ridden back from the Arachnoblast stared at Todd in horror. "You _what?_" Happy cried.

Todd paled, realizing he probably should not have said that out loud. "Whoops."

"Dude, not cool! And I most certainly did not buy more than one copy of the magazine where those photos appeared in…and if I did, it would only be for the articles!" Zippo said, eyes glancing about shiftily. Rose gave him a confused look.

"You are lucky you didn't do that to any of my teammates, else the code of chivalry would demand I slay you where you stand. Er, hover," Sparky said coldly.

Todd laughed nervously, sweat rolling down his face. "Ahahaha, yes, good thing I took absolutely no pictures of your teammates at all, in intimate and compromising positions when they weren't looking…" Sparky narrowed his eyes, as did the rest of Team Getem.

"Ooh, 'ow lurid!" Bow giggled.

"'e took some of us too," Fantina said grimly.

Bow considered this. Her face darkened. "…Wizout our permission or knowledge?"

"Zat's right," Fantina said.

"Shall I snap his neck, milady?" Butler offered as Bow shook with rage.

"No need! I shall DO IT MYSELF!" she roared, the wind howling around her.

"You know what, on second thought, I think I _will_ fight alongside you guys after all! Gotta show the readers I'm willing to put my life at risk to get them the pictures they want!" Todd cried in a very high, shrill voice. "Let's do it! CHAAAARGE!"

"GET BACK 'ERE!" Bow shouted as she chased after Todd, who was desperately flying towards the giant bird monster. "YOU CANNOT OUTFLY ZE WIND!"

"Give him one for us too, milady! He tried to get shots of Butler and I on our downtime!" Diane called after her mistress.

"Excellent," Cherry said evilly, steepling her ghostly fingers. "Just as I planned…" Rebecca sweatdropped. Bitey drooled, wondering if Bow would let him eat whatever was left of Todd when she was done with him.

"I do not understand," said a confused Lily. "From what you've told…and _shown_…me of Mewrianism, I'd have thought you would welcome something like this."

"Oh, I would," Fantina said. "But only if it were done wiz my explicit knowledge and permission. Ozzerwise it's stalking."

"Oh," Lily said, not sure she understood. She was fairly certain she'd never want pictures to be taken of her and Leo doing…well…_stuff._ Not that they were going to.

_Yet,_ B said.

_Be quiet, B!_ Lily chided.

"Right. Well…let's go out there and help Ash, shall we?" Ritchie said, reminding them of what they were supposed to be doing.

"Yeah!" Tiny cheered.

"And if anything should happen to Todd along the way…well, this is a battle. Accidents happen," Butler said ghoulishly.

"Yes," Diane agreed with a sinister grin. "They do."

"…Ash, your friends scare me," Lugia said as he heard all this through Ash's badge.

"Yeah, me too, sometimes," Ash admitted.

"By the way, how is it that we've been floating here talking with those…frightening friends for so long, and yet that abomination has yet to attack us?" Lugia asked.

"Talking is a free action," Ash said.

"…Do I want to know what that is?" Lugia asked slowly.

"No, not particularly," Ash said.

"_We're on our way, Ash. Don't do anything rash until we get there!"_ Ritchie said.

"_Don't be ridiculous. This is Ash we're talking about," _Lily said.

"_Yeah, Daddy does rash things all the time!"_ Tiny agreed. Ash facepalmed.

"Yes, he does…and we'll probably do a few more rash things of our own before this is through," Pikachu commented from the bridge of the ship they had commandeered.

"Speaking of which, I think our enemy's going to be in range in a few seconds," Leo murmured, checking his laptop. "Let's get a closer look, shall we?"

A window popped up on the screen of the laptop to show the feed from the ship's exterior cameras, which was a bit of a necessity since the train car lodged through the front of the bridge was sort of blocking their view. A red speck could be seen in the distance, approaching through the storm. Leo zoomed in on it, revealing…

A red, hard-to-make-out blur. "What the heck is that?" Pikachu asked in puzzlement.

"Uh, I guess that's the best picture we can get," Leo said apologetically. "Considering all the interference from the storm, and the bad weather and lighting. Don't worry, I'll just fix it with the 'enhance' button."

"Wait, you actually have an 'enhance' button?" Pikachu asked in surprise as Leo tapped a key a few times. "I thought that was just something from cop shows and sci-fi movies."

"Oh, it is. Cameras don't work that way in real life, and neither does most visual editing software. But I figured out how to make one of my own in spite of that because I'm awesome," Leo said. Pikachu's eye twitched. "Okay, just a few more adjustments, aaand…there we go! Say hello to the new and improved Robo-Groudon!"

Pikachu frowned in concern as the resolved image of the inbound threat filled the screen. As the name implied, it looked quite a lot like Groudon, if Groudon were made out of metal and a bit shorter and had wings growing out of his back and a cockpit in his chest and several weapons attachments mounted all over its body. Unlike the previous model, which was fifteen feet tall, this one was a hulking twenty-five feet in height. The red and gray plates holding it together appeared to be seamlessly welded together, without all the clunky rivets and bolts of the original. Its arms and legs were still rather short and stubby in comparison to the body, but also longer than the original, with more flexible joints that allowed for greater articulation. Runic stripes mimicking the seams in the real Groudon's armor covered the mecha's hull, glowing blue with power in contrast to the yellow of its eyes. The teeth, claws, and spikes were all longer, sharper, and made of a stronger metal than the prototype.

However, it was there that the similarities to Groudon ceased. A pair of metal wing struts grew out of its back with finger-like spokes radiating from its ends, blue plasma energy glowing between the spokes to create aerial propulsion and causing them to look like dragon wings. The tail was still segmented, but each segment was now spherical, with spikes and flashing lights encircling the orbs and the dozer-like blades at the end reconfigured to look more like a claw. The left arm was encased in a metal gauntlet ending in an enormous drill, and a gatling cannon was mounted over the right arm. Two rows of glowing yellow lights covered the upper part of the robot's torso, and a pair of larger blue lights flanked either side of a transparent bubble set in the machine's gut, through which an Emboar could just barely be seen monning the controls.

Leo whistled, impressed. "Wow! It's sure a lot bigger and better-armed than the last one…hmm, and it looks like they fixed that design flaw in the mouth that would have caused a power feedback in its reactor core if we made something blow up there. Very clever of them! Good to see they learned from their mistakes!"

_Leo, that's the enemy. You're not supposed to be complimenting it,_ Dawn said.

"But it's so cool!" Leo whined. "I wish _I_ could build a giant robot…"

"_That's_ supposed to be a Groudon?" Pikachu asked incredulously. "I'm fairly certain the real Groudon doesn't have any of that stuff. No, actually, I'm _absolutely_ certain since I fought the _real_ Groudon, so know what I'm talking about."

"Pssht, well of course the _real_ Groudon wouldn't have any of this stuff, that would be silly," Leo snorted. "But it's perfectly all right for a _robot_ Groudon to come with all these accessories because it's a giant robot, and what sort of giant robot would it be if it wasn't constructed with all sorts of super-cool weapons of mass destruction built into it?" Pikachu's eye twitched.

_That's right, you fought the true Groudon, didn't you?_ Dawn recalled. _And defeated it in an epic battle!_

"Ooh, that must have been so awesome! Wish I could've seen it…" Leo grumbled.

"It was less awesome and more utterly terrifying. We only _barely_ managed to defeat him," Pikachu said grimly. "And even then it was only because he was still groggy due to just waking up from his long slumber, Team A.C.T. got there first and weakened him for us, and we had the help of just about every other major Rescue Team and hero in Pokémon Square, including my dad. Even then, it was still awfully close."

"I repeat: 'Ooh, that must have been so awesome! Wish I could've seen it!'" Leo said. Pikachu sighed in exasperation.

_Unless Chobin has changed species, I do not believe that is 'Arackaiser,'_ Dawn noted, pointing at the Emboar. _A pity. I had hoped to have a chance at him myself._

"…Oh. That's right. Chobin, uh…helped Paul and the Doctor torture you, didn't he?" Leo suddenly remembered.

_That is one way of describing it,_ she said coolly. Leo winced.

"We'll get him for it. I promise," Pikachu said.

_I know,_ she said, nodding gratefully.

"In the meantime, I guess we'll have to deal with his lackey, Shu something-or-other," Leo said.

"Zhu Bajie," Pikachu corrected.

"Right, that," Leo said.

_Isn't that the name of a character from Journey to the West?_ Dawn recalled.

"I guess his parents are fans of the story. Or he liked the name and took it for himself," Pikachu said.

"Actually, judging from his behavior when Arackaiser called on him, I don't think that's actually his name, but that's what Arackaiser _thinks_ is his name, just like he thinks you're Zapurai and Dawn is Shinobunneary," Leo said.

"Ah, right. I'd completely forgotten we're dealing with an utter lunatic," Pikachu said.

"I dunno, I think those'd be good superhero names for you," Leo said.

"As I said, an utter lunatic," Pikachu repeated. Leo scowled at him.

_It's getting closer. We should do something about that,_ Dawn said.

"Already on it!" Leo said, fingers flying across his keyboard. "We already have most of our weapons blasting at the ships around us to try and clear a path—and keep them from shooting at us—but I believe we still have more than enough free to handle that thing. Well, actually, we don't, because my sunglasses' analysis of its armor and weapons systems indicates that it's probably capable of countering any offensive we make and returning fire with equal or superior ordinance, but I'm gonna shoot at it anyway."

"…Wait, even though you know it won't do any good? Why?" Pikachu asked.

"First, to see if its pilot is skilled enough to actually handle the power that robot has. Possession doesn't always imply mastery, and if that guy has no idea how the thing works, then that means we have little to worry about, since even if he's got enough firepower to overwhelm us, it's no good to him if he's clueless about how to use it. Testing his abilities from this distance will show us what he's capable of without worrying too much about any blowback from close-range fire," Leo explained.

"Oh," Pikachu said, looking surprised. "That's…actually a pretty good idea."

"Also, it'll look really cool!" Leo said. Pikachu facepalmed. Several targeting reticules appeared on the screen and positioned themselves over the approaching Robo-Groudon. "Okay, due to the storm and a diffusion field that thing is generating, I can't lock on, but I think I can eyeball it pretty well. Just point in the direction that thing is and shoot. Even if we miss it, we'll hit a bunch of enemy ships, so every shot will still count."

Pikachu nodded. "Go ahead, then. Open fire."

"Hey, I'm the captain of this ship and the guy Arackaiser is aiming for, I don't have to take orders from anyone!" Leo said, crossing his arms. Pikachu and Dawn glared at him. He broke instantly. "But, uh, I'll start shooting anyway because it's the right thing to do and it'll be completely of my own free will and not just because you're freaking me out right now. Yeah." He pressed the button that gave the command to fire.

Instantly, turrets and cannons and batteries all across the deck of the battleship swiveled their aim from the enemy ships firing on them from every side to face the incoming giant robot. Simultaneously, they opened fire, launching thousands of missiles, rockets, lasers, energy blasts, plasma bullets, and all sorts of other projectiles at Robo-Groudon.

Zhu Bajie blinked in puzzlement when one of the many screens on his cockpit turned red and the words 'Incoming missiles detected!' flashed across it repeatedly. His brow furrowed in confusion. "Hurr? What does this mean? In…co…ming…mis…siles…de…tec…ted?" he asked as he squinted at the words on the display. He scratched his head and stared at the screen blankly, as if waiting for it to explain itself. When that did not happen, he said, "Explain yourself!" to the screen. Nothing happened. "EXPLAIN YOURSELF!" he bellowed. Nothing happened. He punched the screen, breaking it. "There. That is better because now there is no annoying screen blinking annoying words and being annoying." Then another screen started flashing 'Incoming missiles detected.' And another. And another. Until his whole cockpit was full of flashing screens, causing him to groan as he felt a headache coming on.

Reluctantly, he opened the glove compartment and pulled out the instruction manual. He opened it and stared blankly for several moments at the incredibly detailed diagrams and ridiculously tiny print that it hurt his eyes to look at. He threw the book over his shoulder, reached into the glove compartment again, and pulled out a larger yellow book with a picture of a blackboard with the words 'Piloting the Robo-Groudon MK II for Imbeciles' and an image of a grinning Chobin on the cover. He flipped it open and stared at the directions, so easy even a child (or Chobin) could understand them, for several seconds. Finally, he sighed, reached into the glove compartment _again_, and pulled out a third book almost identical to the second one except it was titled "'Piloting the Robot-Groudon MK II for Imbeciles' for Imbeciles' and had a picture of Doctor Tarantulas beating up Chobin on the cover. After leafing through the pages for a few moments, he found what he was looking for. "'When you see a message saying 'Incoming missiles detected,' it means your Robo-Groudon MK II has detected incoming missiles,'" Zhu Bajie read very slowly, sweat rolling down his face from the effort needed to parse the written words. "'To avoid being blown up by these missiles, fire your anti-missile defenses and raise your shields.' How do I do that?" he demanded, shaking the book, which naturally did not answer. He noticed a 'cont.' icon written in the bottom right corner of the page and flipped it over to see there were more directions on the other side. "'To fire your anti-missile defenses and raise your shields, press the buttons indicated by the image below.'" Beneath these words was a picture of the Robo-Groudon's control panels, with big arrows helpfully pointing at two buttons that had colorful circles drawn around them. Zhu Bajie shrugged and pushed the buttons. By which I mean the buttons on the page, not the buttons on the actual control panel. Naturally, this did absolutely nothing. Perplexed, he pushed the picture on the page again and again, his temper slowly rising and causing his body heat to increase until his finger burned holes through the spots he had been poking. "Why isn't it working?" he roared in frustration, smoke rising from his ears.

This had the misfortune of triggering the cockpit's smoke detectors, causing a high-pitched klaxon to fill the control room as red lights flashed and fire-retardant foam sprayed all over Zhu Bajie. Screaming in panic, he wildly flailed about, smashing several screens and hitting several buttons. By (incredibly) dumb luck, two of those buttons happened to be the ones that turned on the shields and fired the anti-missile defenses, causing a blue force field to shimmer to life around the mecha, all the robot's spikes to launch off their mounts and split apart into dozens of smaller needle-like projectiles, lasers to fire from the eyes and pulsating lights, a tremendous energy beam to blast out of the mouth, more conventional missiles to blast out of hatches that popped open all over the mecha's body, energy bolts to blast out from the blue lines covering the hull, the gatling cannon to start shooting rapid-fire plasma bullets at five thousand rounds per second, and the drill to rocket off its gauntlet and smash through everything in its path. He also turned on the windshield wipers, activated the airbags, turned on the massage chair, kicked the air conditioning into overdrive, made a parachute pop out of the robot's back and a giant life preserver around its waist, sent up distress flares, caused the robot to twirl in a barrel roll that turned into more of a pirouette, caused a disco ball to lower from the ceiling and fill the cockpit with colored lights, made the radio start playing classical music, and produced a set of perfectly baked muffins from the built-in oven.

Dazed by all the flashing lights and colors, the spinning, the airbag that had smashed into his face, and the delicious scent of muffins, Zhu Bajie stared blearily out the main window to see the fusillade that had been shooting towards him from the battleship he was approaching disintegrate in a series of explosions. "YES!" he bellowed victoriously, thrusting an arm into the air and causing bits of foam to fly everywhere. "I, Zhu Bajie, am triumphant, because I am the triumphant Zhu Bajie!" He paused for a moment, his brow furrowing in uncertainty. "At least, I _think_ I am…" He activated the communicator, one of the few things he actually knew how to use. "Lord Arackaiser?"

"_Yes, what is it?"_ Arackaiser asked, annoyed.

"My name is Zhu Bajie, right?" the Emboar asked.

"…_What?"_ Arackaiser asked in disbelief.

"Zhu Bajie. That is my name, right? Not Viers or Midbos or Shirley or Baku or Bianca?" the big dumb pig asked pleadingly. "Zhu Bajie?"

"_Oh for the love of…YES! YES, FOR THE LAST TIME, YOUR NAME IS ZHU BAJIE, JUST LIKE THE CHARACTER FROM JOURNEY TO THE WEST, TO EMPHASIZE YOUR EXTREME STRENGTH, GLUTTONY, AND STUPIDITY!"_ Arackaiser screamed.

"Ah. All right. That is all I wanted to know," Zhu Bajie said in relief. "That my name was Zhu Bajie. Not Viers or Midbos or Shirley or Baku or Bianca. Zhu Bajie."

"_That's…that's wonderful, Zhu Bajie. Just…just go and kill Turtle Titan already, will you? Please? Is that really too much to ask?"_ Arackaiser pleaded.

"No, Lord Arackaiser! I shall destroy the Turtle Titan utterly! He shall be so badly destroyed, that there will be nothing left to be destroyed again, because he will be dead, since I killed him! And destroyed him! Until he was dead, because I killed him, causing him to be destroyed!" Zhu Bajie rambled.

"_Great. That's perfect. Go do that,"_ Arackaiser said curtly, feeling like his brain cells were dying just talking to his moronic minion.

"I will!" Zhu Bajie declared.

"_Okay. Bye,"_ Arackaiser said.

"Bye!" Zhu Bajie said. Arackaiser hung up. "Now, to destroy Turtle Titan utterly! He shall be so badly destroyed, that there will be nothing left to be destroyed again, because he will be dead, since I killed him! And destroyed him! Until he is dead, because I killed him, causing him to be destroyed!" the Emboar declared, setting his sights on his target once more. He paused, then stared at his control panel again. "Now how do do that?"

"Hmm. That was interesting," Leo commented as the smoke and flames from the destruction of their failed barrage faded away.

"Yeah…that thing sure has a lot of weapons," Pikachu agreed as new spikes and claws sprouted from the holes left in the robot's armor and the drill flew back onto the gauntlet.

_And a number of…extra features,_ Dawn said, staring at the parachute and life preserver.

"Yes, but it also showed us that this guy is an idiot who has no idea what he's doing, which means we stand a pretty good chance of beating him," Leo said.

Pikachu nodded in agreement. "All right. Let's shoot him again."

"What? No, don't be silly," Leo said. "He might be able to repulse it like he did the last time. No, what we need to do is wait until he actually gets here, then go out and fight him on foot!"

"…What? Why?" Pikachu asked incredulously.

"Two reasons. Well, three, actually," Leo said. "First, if he's right on top of us—or more likely, walking _on_ us—that means we can fire our deck guns at him and there's less of a chance of him being able to repel them from that range, though it means we'll also have to limit our munitions to keep from blowing ourselves up."

"Oh. That…makes sense," Pikachu admitted.

_But fighting it on foot does not,_ Dawn argued.

"Au contraire! That thing is a giant robot. Heavily armed, but also slow and a little clunky, with the advantage that it's being piloted by a moron who has no idea what the heck he's doing," Leo said. "We, on the other hand, are three much smaller and more agile Pokémon warriors with years of combat under our belts-"

"Years? Leo, you just joined us a few weeks ago," Pikachu interrupted.

"Yes, and I've racked up a higher kill count in all the video games I've played than you probably have in your entire life," Leo said smugly. Pikachu's eye twitched. "Anyway, we're smaller and faster so we're harder to hit, and thanks to my sunglasses I know that thing's weak spots, so we'll be able to inflict crippling blows more effectively than we would if we were just to sit and keep firing our cannons at him from up here. His own size and lack of expertise with his mecha will work to our advantage and make it easier for us to bring him down under our own power…though it'll mean we'll have to go out into that yucky storm out there, which I'm not looking forward to."

"…Huh. I hate to say it, but you may have something there, Leo," Pikachu said.

"Yeah, totally! Hey, what do you mean, 'hate to say it?'" Leo asked angrily.

_What is the third reason for us to fight him on foot?_ Dawn asked.

"Oh, because it'll be totally awesome, duh!" Leo said.

Pikachu and Dawn sighed. "Of course," the samurai said resignedly.

_Why did we even bother asking?_ Dawn agreed.

The Robo-Groudon landed on the deck of the battleship with a resounding crash, smashing through dozens of turrets and batteries and power regulators and hangars and other structures dotting the surface of the giant floating vessel, leaving a skid mark several dozen meters long before it finally came to a stop. Zhu Bajie told himself that he had done this to make a dramatic entrance, though really it was because he had no idea where the brakes were. "Turtle Titan!" he roared. "I, Zhu Bajie, Arackaiser's mightiest and most faithful minion, have come to destroy you! Come out and face me, Zhu Bajie, Arackaiser's mightiest and most faithful minion, so I may destroy you!" He waited for a moment. Nothing happened. He frowned and tried again. "Titan! I have come to play, and by play I mean fight, not play video games or some other such silly nonsense that is silly! Fight me!" Nothing happened. He clenched his fists and started gnashing his teeth in frustration. "Turtle Titan! My master has sent me to destroy you, and I will not fail him, because I am good at destroying things, for I am Zhu Bajie, Arackaiser's mightiest and most faithful minion, so I shall destroy you, and not fail him! Face me now, or be forever branded as a coward who is cowardly because he does not answer the challenges of those who come to challenge him!" Again, nothing happened. Bellowing in fury, he started pounding the dashboard, causing fireworks to shoot from the robot's rear, the 1812 Overture to begin blaring from its loudspeakers, the eyes to start flashing red and blue while making a noise like a police siren, and for the arms to start punching the robot in the face while its legs did a tap dance. "STOP MOCKING ME! I DO NOT LIKE BEING MOCKED! I MOCK OTHERS! IT IS WHAT I DO! BECAUSE I AM BIGGER AND STRONGER THAN THEM! SO I AM NOT THE ONE WHO IS MOCKED! SO DO NOT MOCK ME! BECAUSE I DO NOT LIKE BEING MOCKED!"

Leo, Pikachu, and Dawn stared wordlessly at the display going on outside. "…What on Arceus's green Earth is he doing?" Pikachu asked finally.

_It looks like the can-can,_ Dawn commented with a serious face.

"Hmm…if my lip-reading is correct—and it is, because I'm awesome—" Leo said, zooming in on the cockpit. "Then he's yelling at me to come out and fight him and not understanding why I'm not doing that. If I were to hazard a guess, he forgot to turn on the exterior speakers or hail us, so doesn't realize we can't hear him."

"Wow. And to think I was worried for a second…" Pikachu said.

_We still should be. He may be an idiot, but he's an idiot in control of an extremely dangerous and powerful weapon. So far he has done no harm, but it's only a matter of time before he figures out—either by accident or on purpose—how to activate that machine's more lethal armaments,_ Dawn warned.

Pikachu nodded. "Which is why we need to take him out now. Leo?"

"On it!" Leo said, activating some of the deck guns.

Hatches popped open all over the ship's deck and turrets and missile batteries rose up and swiveled to point at the Robo-Groudon. There were already several other weapons emplacements active, but they were larger, stronger, and too risky to fire at an object so close to the ship, so were focused on the enemy ships engaging them from all sides instead, leaving the smaller artillery to battle the giant robot. Zhu Bajie yelped in alarm as weapons fire impacted his vehicle, the shields flashing and flickering as dozens of missiles, lasers, and plasma bolts struck him repeatedly. "Raaaah! So you will not fight Zhu Bajie directly, but hide behind your weak weapons instead? Then Zhu Bajie will come to you, and destroy your weak weapons with his _strong_ weapon, and kill you!" He opened '"Piloting the Robo-Groudon MK II for Imbeciles" for Imbeciles' again. "Just as soon as I figure out how. Hmm…'To return fire against enemy artillery, press the button indicated below.'" The Emboar pushed the indicated button, by which I mean he pushed the one displayed on the page rather than the one on his console. "Why does this book continue to lie? Does it not know that Zhu Bajie does not like being lied to!" he yelled in frustration as he jabbed his finger at the picture again and again.

"It doesn't look like it's working," Pikachu commented as the cannons fired at Robo-Groudon repeatedly with no visible effect.

"Yes, but it's not _not_ working, either," Leo said.

"…What?" Pikachu said in confusion.

_Ignore him,_ Dawn said wisely. _Let's just get down there and see if we can indeed do better fighting it head-to-head. Leo, you are certain you know that thing's weak points?_

"Oh yeah, definitely!" Leo assured her.

_Then let's go before anything else happens,_ Dawn said.

As if on cue, Outlaw landed on the ship's deck with a fiery crash, a tremendous blast of flame erupting around the Decepticon from the impact. _**"Ah, there you are!"**_she crooned as she rose from the crater she had formed, flames licking her frame and venting from the tubes on her back. _**"I've been looking all over for you! What a naughty mechanoid, running from me like that! I'm going to have to punish you for that. You need to learn proper discipline if I'm going to make a proper pet out of you! Otherwise I'm going to have to bring your skull back to Lord Megatron as another trophy, which just wouldn't be as fun!"**_ She drew her blazing Energon blade. _**"Now…come to Mama!"**_

"Oh boy, it's Sam and Ma…er, George, and their transforming evil robot car!" Leo said giddily. "I was wondering where they'd gone off to! They're gonna help us too? Now we get to see two giant robots going mecha-to-mecha! That's soooo cool!"

Pikachu and Dawn exchanged looks of mute horror. "…You know, I'm, uh, suddenly not so certain we need to go out there. I mean, they've probably got it under control. You know, what with having a giant robot of their own and all," Pikachu said anxiously.

_Yes. And, uh, the weather's dreadful. Not good fighting conditions,_ Dawn added quickly.

"Oh, come on, it'll be awesome! And besides, I thought ninjas could fight in any weather. I mean, you grew up on some icy mountain, right?" Leo said.

_Well, yes, but…_ Dawn started.

"And besides, even if they can handle themselves because they're the utterly awesome Sam and Ma…I mean, Sam and Max's temporary replacement, they don't know Robo-Groudon's weak spots like I do. Plus, it'll be totally radical to get to watch them beat the bolts out of that thing up close, rather than from up here in this junkheap!" Leo said.

"But, uh, this junkheap's so nice and warm and out of the rotten weather!" Pikachu said desperately. "I mean, you don't really want to go out there, where everything's so stupid—I mean, er, rainy and snowy and…fiery?"

"I'm a Water-type. I like the rain," Leo pointed out. "As for the other stuff, I've got an insulated shell, a winter jacket, and an umbrella that's both lightning _and_ fire-proof!"

"…Why…why would…why would you have an umbrella that's _fire_-proof?" Pikachu asked in confusion. "I mean, a lightning-proof umbrella I can understand, but…but why would you even imagine of fire-proofing it?"

"In case we got caught in a firestorm, duh. Which we are now. Well, it's also a rainstorm, and a snowstorm, and a thunderstorm, but there's fire too, so that counts," Leo said.

"…Ah," Pikachu said, eye twitching.

"So come on, let's go and join in on the fun! It'll be awesome!" Leo said, closing and unplugging his laptop.

"Um, wait, maybe you should stay here! I mean, somebody needs to fly the ship, and make sure we don't crash into anything or get blown up!" Pikachu said desperately.

_And if you stay here, you'll need us to protect you! I mean, sure we have those constructs of Happy's, but it's not like they're nearly as effective bodyguards as we are!_ Dawn said, gesturing to the floating shells nearby, which did not respond to her detractions, either because they were indeed mindless husks or because they didn't understand clickspeak.

"Nah, I set the thing on autopilot. And auto-fire. That should be good enough to keep us safe until we get closer to the Arachnoblast, and I'm sure we'll be finished with Robo-Groudon by then!" Leo said as he put his laptop away and pulled out an umbrella. "Come on! Onward, to adventure, and giant robot battles!" He giddily ran out of the room.

"…This is going to suck, isn't it?" Pikachu groaned.

_Indubitably,_ Dawn said miserably.

While his unwitting minion was about to engage in battle against two different sets of foes, Arackaiser frowned in puzzlement as he saw all of the heroes who had been floating nearby start for Ash and Lugia, who had started fighting his monstrous creation. "What does the Justice Force think they're doing? While it's commendable that they recognize the threat my magnificent beast represents, have they forgotten that I'm still here? Do I think that I am no longer a threat, that I pose no further danger to them?"

"Well, to be fair sir, as far as they know our weapons systems have been disabled thanks to Turtle Titan's quick hacking," O pointed out. "They might think we are either no longer a danger, or at the very least are lower on their list of priorities than that…thing you made outside which spits in the face of Arceus."

"Zing _he_ made? It's _my_ machine…even if he's ze one who figured out how to make it vork…grrr, it should be _me_ who made an ungodly abomination zat defies ze vill of Arceus, not him!" Tarantulas muttered enviously under his breath.

"Hmmph, I suppose that makes sense," Arackaiser said grudgingly. "But even so, I would think that they would at least try and destroy or disable us before we could regain our full power, not just…so casually turn their backs on us! How dare they! Such insolence can only be rewarded in one way: complete and utter annihilation! Have the repairs to the weapons systems been completed yet?"

One of the weapons officers nodded. "Repairs aren't at one hundred percent, but we've recovered enough functionality by now to, if not outright wipe out those do-gooders completely, at the very least maim and kill most of them."

Arackaiser grinned malevolently. "Excellent! Wait a moment longer until they are all gathered in one place, fighting Zapmolcuno-"

"Maelstrom!" Tarantulas shouted abruptly.

Arackaiser looked at him in confusion. "Huh?"

"Maelstrom!" Tarantulas repeated. "Zat's vhat ve'll call it! It's a much cooler-sounding name, and descriptive of how it creates a storm of evil and chaos across ze land!"

Arackaiser considered this for a moment, and then broke into a delighted grin. "That's brilliant! Well done, Spydor! You're right, that _is_ a much better name!"

"Vell, it's not like zat's hard, vhen you're competing against a name like _Zapmolcuno,_" Tarantulas said smugly.

Arackaiser rolled his eyes. "Yes, yes, rub it in, I already admitted you were right, what more do you want from me?"

"To stop playing games and become Chobin again! And stop treating me like a lackey! Zat's vhat I'm supposed to do viz you, not ze ozzer vay around!" Tarantulas said.

Arackaiser sighed pityingly and patted Tarantulas on the head. "Poor thing, your memory core is still scrambled from that nasty Titan's virus, isn't it? Don't worry; I'll put everything back to normal once Turtle Titan and the Justice Force have been defeated." Tarantulas ground his teeth, resisting the urge to bite his assistant's leaf off. By the time he realized that it wouldn't be much of a big deal if he did, since he could always clone it back on, Arackaiser had already removed his appendage and returned his focus to their enemies. "Are they in position?"

"Yes, sir! We have all our weapons primed, aimed, and ready to fire!" the weapons officer reported.

"Excellent! On my mark, open fire!" Arackaiser raised his leaf into the air and opened his mouth to give the order…

When suddenly the Arachnoblast began to shake. "Oh, vhat _now?_" Tarantulas groaned in exasperation.

"What is going on?" Arackaiser demanded as he grabbed a railing to brace himself, echoing Tarantulas' sentiments.

"We're picking up readings of massive seismic activity!" one of the Nihilators reported. "Sensors indicate something's burrowing up towards us…a LOT of somethings!"

"What the…did the Titan somehow convince the Morlocks to join forces with him? But how? They hate all surface-dwellers indiscriminately!" said the perplexed Arackaiser.

"Ze who now?" asked the confused Tarantulas.

"You know, the Morlocks! The race of subterranean beings who despise all Pokémon who live on the surface of the Earth and seek to literally undermine our civilization? You should know this, Spydor, we've dealt with them often enough!" Arackaiser said.

"Oh…right…" Tarantulas said, having no idea what Arackaiser was talking about.

"Are we in any danger of the ground collapsing beneath us?" Arackaiser asked.

"No sir, the seismic activity seems to be limited to shaking, not fissures. The sand is liquefying and sucking at the Arachnoblast's feet, but we're too big for that to matter much, and even if it did our anti-gravity engines would be able to support us."

"Excellent. Well then, let's see who's decided to join the fray…this battle is between the Titan, his cohorts, and myself, we don't need a third party!" Arackaiser growled.

Outside, the ground shook and the sand churned and parted as a vehicle resembling a giant robot scorpion approximately the same size as the Arachnoblast's central sphere dug up from beneath the earth. The massive drill it was holding before it to create a path through the underground split apart and resolved itself into a pair of massive metal pincer claws and a mighty stinger placed on the end of a long and flexible segmented tail. While the Arachnoblast was mostly black with red highlights, this machine was a bright white and gold that would have shone brilliantly if there weren't a massive storm blocking out the sun. Even so, it managed to glow with some inner, almost ethereal light that managed to illuminate everything around it and make its details more visible. In addition to the pincers and tail, it had eight legs built somewhat like those of the Arachnoblast but on a much smaller scale. Tank treads and wheels underlay the underside of the scorpion, providing extra locomotion along with the legs. A blunt, angular head was placed between the two main arms, larger than the Arachnoblast's (well, when it had had a head, anyway) but also much less flexible, since there was no neck separating it from the rest of the body. Glowing blue strips and ports gave the appearance of eyes, while a number of weapons emplacements on the head's underside gave the illusion of mandibles. Embossed on the top of the head was a stylized and ornate golden J placed over Arceus' wheel with a pair of majestic wings unfolding to either side.

As the last of the mud and dirt was washed off the scorpion's hull by the hard rain and snow, the charred and broken earth making up the battlefield continued to churn as a variety of tanks of numerous sizes and shapes drilled up from underground, each adorned in the same white and gold as the scorpion. Some had wheels, some had treads, and some had legs. Some were the size of a jeep, others were the size of a small building. None of them was as big as the scorpion, the Arachnoblast, or the battleships, but there were certainly a lot more of them, especially since the Nihilator fleet had been depleted somewhat from all the fighting. They were also all heavily armed.

Arackaiser, Tarantulas, and O stared at the white vehicles with blank looks on their faces. "Okay, I have no idea who those guys are, but I'm going to hazard a guess and say they aren't warlocks," O said.

"Morlocks," Arackaiser corrected. "Warlocks are male witches."

O blinked. "Male witches? I thought those were wizards."

"No, wizards are unisex and represent their own school of magic. Witches and warlocks make up another, just like sorcerors and sorceresses, enchanters and enchantresses, and so on and so forth," Arackaiser said.

"…Actually, I'm pretty sure zey're all just synonyms for ze same zing, Pokémon who use magic" Tarantulas said, recalling Bellum having railed about it for some reason.

"And that's another reason why I am an evil genius, and you are not," Arackaiser said. Tarantulas gnashed his teeth and wondered when his head would stop aching so much so he could fire a laser through his traitorous assistant's skull without making his migraine even worse. "In any event, you are correct, Commander, those aren't Morlocks. Morlock vehicles tend to be much darker in coloration, as well as cruder, a cobbled-together mixture of junk from the surface, subterranean ore, and the carapaces of the myriad horrors that litter their underground realm. I'm afraid, however, that I have no idea who they represent, then, if not the Morlocks, since I've made a habit of knowing every evil organization in the world. It pays to be aware of your rivals, after all."

"I think I may have something, sir," one of the Nihilators reported, zooming in on the emblem on top of the scorpion's head and causing several new images to appear around it on the main screen; other renditions of the emblem, as well as austere and formidable-looking Pokémon in white armor and robes, seven solemn-looking Pokémon in robes and tall hats, and stained glass windows and murals of a tall white figure bathing the world in light while an approving Arceus and Mew looked on. "I ran that symbol through our database; it's the sign for a splinter sect of the Arcean Order known as 'Judgment.' They're a religious order who believes that the world needs to be purged of evil for a true paradise to be created, and feels that the only way to go about doing that is to unite the world and destroy that evil by force. They were excommunicated by the church proper due to their extremist ways, but thanks to the leadership of a group of elders called the Seven Sages they have managed to become a powerful group in their own right, attracting a great many troubled Pokémon who seek justification for their faith and desire to make the world a better place, even if in doing so they may have to take actions frowned upon by the Arcean Order and indeed most of the civilized world."

"Oh great, so zey're ze vorst kind of goodie-goodie," Tarantulas groaned. "Ze kind zat does evil and is too much of a coward to admit it to zemselves."

"Judgment? Why have I never heard of them? Surely as one of the greatest supervillains of all time, I should be a high-profile target for a group claiming to seek to rid evil from the world!" Arackaiser asked, looking offended. Tarantulas tried not to snicker.

"Our forces have clashed with theirs a few times, but mainly I think we've avoided them due to our focus on differing goals: we to open the Door beneath Treasure Town using the seven legendary Star Badges and usher in a new age of eternal evil, while they've been trying to collect the Plates of Arceus for their appointed King, Light of Justice, whom they view as a messianic figure prophesized by the Seven Sages to use the Plates' power to purify the world and reshape it into a paradise reflecting the Celestial Heavens," the Nihilator said as new images appeared on the screen: ancient murals and more recent photographs of the Plates, colored rectangular plates of a mysterious and unknown material; along with more pictures of the world being bathed in light and a few photographs of a pious green-haired Zoroark in simple white robes. In one picture he was being crowned by one of the Sages, an incredibly evil-looking Hydreigon who looked like he'd fit in better with the Nihilators than a group of religious zealots like Judgment.

"Wow, that guy looks like he should be with us, not them," O commented, validating the aforementioned observation. "He's obviously evil."

"Yes, he's probably manipulating that 'King' to collect the Plates so he can rule the world himself. Basic evil plot. I've tried the same thing on more than one occasion," Arackaiser said dismissively. "Hmm, the Plates of Arceus…why haven't I ever tried to acquire those?"

"They can only be used by the pure of heart, according to legend," the Nihilator reported as several transcripts of ancient texts and scriptures filled the screen.

"Well that's no problem, I'm pure evil!" Arackaiser declared.

"You're pure _somezing,_ zat's for sure," Tarantulas grumbled.

"Er, those who are pure _good_, not evil," the Nihilator amended. Arackaiser scowled.

"Then how can Judgment use them?" O asked in puzzlement.

Tarantulas shrugged. "Vell, even 'good guys' can do bad zings, so I suppose if zey give some pure-hearted sap a Plate and told him to blow up an orphanage because, I dunno, ze kids vere actually demons or somezing, it should vork for him. Maybe. But zen again, vhat do I know, I wrote my zesis on _evil_, not good!"

"What are you talking about, Spydor? You know you were expelled from the university for sneaking into the girls' locker room too many times," Arackaiser said, causing Tarantulas to stammer in disbelief. "And what's this about Star Badges and Treasure Town and a Door to everlasting evil? I don't remember authorizing any plan like that! I don't think I've even _heard_ of a place called Treasure Town! What kind of unimaginative name for a place is that?"

"Uh…" The Nihilator looked to O, panicked.

O glanced at Tarantulas. Tarantulas shrugged apathetically. O's eye twitched and he frantically tried to think of a convincing lie. "Er…don't you remember, sir? You…ah…came up with the plan last week?"

Arackaiser gave him a confused look. "What? I did no such thing!"

"Oh, but you did! You even held a, ah, organization-wide meeting on the subject. I was there. As was Taran—er, Spydor. And Zhu Bajie. And that guy," O said, pointing to a random Nihilator, who blinked at him stupidly.

O glared at him, and he stammered and said, "Oh, uh, yeah, I totally was. And I have to say, the donuts sucked! They were either a week old, or didn't have enough sprinkles!"

"Hmm…that _does_ sound like one of my planning meetings…the donuts are always terrible…" Arackaiser admitted, scratching his chin. "Still, I think I'd remember something like that…"

"Well, sir, your head is so chock-full of evil plans that it's understandable that occasionally you might…you know, temporarily misplace one or two. I mean, you're always scheming to kill Turtle Titan and take over the world!" O lied. "So it's really not much of a surprise that even an evil genius of _your_ magnitude would accidentally once in a while allow himself to forget a plan or two because, um, you're always so totally focused on your goals that sometimes things just…slip away!"

"I _am_ always scheming, aren't I?" Arackaiser agreed, warming up to the idea but still rather skeptical. "Still, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't forget a plan I had so big I called a meeting over it and everything."

"Well, ah, that's because, er…" O desperately looked to Tarantulas, sweat rolling down his face.

The cyborg sighed in exasperation. "Because right after zat meeting, you vent to test your new Amnesiainator and it backfired, erasing your memory of ze last few hours."

"What? That's preposterous! I think I'd remember building a device that could erase memories!" Arackaiser scoffed.

"Precisely! It vorked so vell you even forgot you made it! And zen it exploded. So, uh, not so vell on zat front, I suppose. But still! A veapon so strong even _your_ mind was affected by it! Zat's definitely ze sort of zing you'd build!" Tarantulas said.

"It is, isn't it?" Arackaiser preened. "Yes, that does sound just like the sort of thing I'd do…Very well, send me the minutes from that meeting later, if I wanted these Star Badges so badly I'd get the whole organization working on it I want to remember why."

"Certainly, sir! First thing after the battle!" O said, shooting Tarantulas a grateful look. Tarantulas just grunted.

"And speaking of which, those Judgment guys are hailing us," one of the communications officers said.

Arackaiser blinked. "Hmm? Oh, right, I'd almost forgotten about them. All right, let's find out what they want."

The display on the main screen changed to show a bridge much like the one the Arachnoblast used to have…except it was much more ornate, had religious icons on the walls, the displays and instruments looked like stained glass, and all in all it looked more like a chapel than the command center of a giant robot. White-armored Bisharp, Pawniard, Escavalier, and some Mienfoo monned most of the controls, while a massive and oddly graceful white-robed Rhyperior observed from the background. An Absol that, bizarrely, had magnificent white-feathered wings like an angel sat next to the commander, who, like Tarantulas, was a cyborg arachnid perched in a metallic mesh web stretching from the ceiling to the floor in the center of the room. Unlike Tarantulas, however, she was a Galvantula, and while the Doctor's body was largely cold and sinister-looking obtrusive mechanical components with a few token organic parts grafted onto the rest, the EleSpider Pokémon's cybernetic parts were fused with her organic body so seamlessly it was impossible to tell where one ended and the other began, as if she were not a cyborg at all but a different kind of life-form altogether…something techno-organic in nature, a magnificent combination of biology and machinery going all the way down to the cellular level. Also, she was easy on the eyes and didn't have robot spiders crawling all over her body, which made her infinitely less creepy than the Doctor.

She also happened to be the most beautiful Pokémon the Doctor had ever seen, the sight of her causing a strange fluctuation in the pumps that he'd replaced his hearts with long ago and triggering long-dormant hormones and synapses in his partially mechanized brain that resulted in an intense attraction to the Galvantula that it took several seconds for him to realize as attraction since it had been a very, very, _very _long time since he'd felt that way for anyone and had in fact believed himself incapable of it.

In short, he was in love. How weird is that?

As Tarantulas stared at the image of insectoid and cybernetic loveliness, drool dropping from his mandibles and his mechanical eye zooming out to its fullest, Arackaiser scowled at the Pokémon who had dared to interrupt his business. "Who are you, who dares to interrupt my business?"

The Absol snarled angrily, hackles rising. "Who are you, who dares to interrupt _our_ business?" the Galvantula retorted in a harsh and acerbic tone that sent titillations of delight running down Tarantulas' pleasure circuits. (He'd almost forgotten he even had those!) "I am Doctor Blackarachnia, Chief Science Officer of the holy order of Judgment, dedicated to eradicating evil from this world! We came here to collect the Plates of Arceus from our rivals Team Getem before they could cross the border to Fichina. Instead, we find _you_ here, trying to kill our worthy foes and steal the sacred power that is ours by right! How _dare_ you try and interfere in Arceus' will?"

"…Team Getem? Who the Abyss are they?" asked the confused Arackaiser. "I'm trying to kill the Justice Force and my archnemesis Turtle Titan! Are you sure you've got the right place? That's happened to me sometimes—another supervillain getting the address wrong for their battle with their heroic counterparts and interrupting whatever deathtrap or battle I've engaged the Titan in by accident. Very embarrassing. Not that I've ever done it myself, of course!"

Doctor Blackarachnia blinked back, looking equally confused. And gorgeous, to Tarantulas' eyes. "Justice Force? Turtle Titan? What are you talking about?"

Arackaiser gestured to one of the other monitors on the bridge, which showed the heroes fighting the giant bird monster. "The Pokémon just outside, fighting my fleet and my beautiful creation, Zapmol-"

"Maelstrom," O corrected.

"What? Oh, right, Maelstrom," Arackaiser said.

"…_You_ created that abomination?" the winged Absol cried in horror as the other members of Judgment gave the Sunflora shocked looks.

"That's right! With the use of my Combininator ray!" Arackaiser said proudly.

Tarantulas blinked, briefly breaking out of his lovestruck stupor. "Vhat? Hey, don't tell her it's _your_ Combininator! _I'm_ ze one who designed it! If she's going to fall in love viz anyvone for making such a magnificent scientific breakthrough-"

"What sort of monster are you, to make such a horrible mockery of life, a twisted perversion of Mew's sacred gift?" Blackarachnia demanded furiously.

"It should be you, ze one who actually got ze zing vorking!" Tarantulas finished without missing a beat.

"What sort of monster am I? I'll tell you!" Arackaiser bragged. "Why, I'm surprised you don't know who I am already, given how you're apparently dedicated to eradicating evil from the world! I am the scourge of Freedom City, the slaughterer of Kelz'thyu'poi-kydetg, founder of the Arachninja clan, murderer of Lord Nightwindshadowflame of Meagathune'yupoil Keep, and serial ding-dong ditcher, the one and only archnemesis of the Turtle Titan: Arackaiser!"

A lightning bolt cracked down behind him, startling everyone in the control room. "Where did that come from?" asked the surprised O.

"Oh, uh, sorry, that was me," said an embarrassed Eelektrik. "Seemed appropriate."

The Absol started, but everyone else in the scorpion's bridge stared at Arackaiser blankly. "Never heard of you," Blackarachnia said bluntly, causing him to facefault.

"What do you mean you've never heard of me?" Arackaiser demanded as Tarantulas struggled to hold back laughter. "I am the greatest supervillain in the world! You are an organization sworn to destroy people like me! How can you not know who I am?"

"Well, it's clear you're an evildoer of some means if the fleet you've managed to assemble and that twisted monstrosity are anything to go by, clearly worth our judgment and cleansing, but even so we've never heard of you before now," Blackarachnia said.

"Actually, milady, that might not necessarily be true-" the Rhyperior started.

"That's right! Because I know _exactly_ who he is!" the Absol barked.

"You do?" Blackarachnia asked in surprise.

"You do?" Arackaiser asked in relief.

"He does?" Tarantulas cried in disbelief.

"Yes! You are Arackaiser…the monster who slew my master for no other reason than because you thought his hat would make a great accessory!" the Absol snarled.

Arackaiser scratched his head in puzzlement. "Eh, sorry, but you'll have to be more specific. I've killed a loooooot of people's masters for accessories, and had even more people come after me swearing revenge. They all blend together after a while."

"Silverbolt, what are you talking about? Last time I checked, your master was still alive and enjoying retirement in one of our proto-utopias," said the confused Blackarachnia.

"I was studying under Lord Nightwindshadowflame and was just about to level up into an Exalted Paladin when you killed him and deleted his code from the game so that no player could ever train under him and gain that special job class without extensive hacking, which an honorable warrior like me would _never_ stoop to doing!" Silverbolt shouted furiously.

"…Game? What? What are you talking about?" asked the very confused Blackarachnia.

Tarantulas facepalmed. "Oh, for ze love of…"

"Ahhhh, I remember now," Arackaiser said, eyes lighting up. "The incident in question, at least. I don't remember seeing you there."

"You didn't remember seeing me? I was one of the last knights standing in your way when you stormed Meagathune'yupoil Keep!" Silverbolt said angrily.

"Yes, and I defeated you, and I tend not to bother remembering anyone I defeat unless they were really important or put up a good fight, of which you did neither," Arackaiser said frankly. "After all the other knights I'd killed, you were just one more obstacle in my path to Lord Nightwindshadowflame. And not a very good one. You only took, what, all of ten seconds to defeat?"

Silverbolt turned red. "That's because you cheated and used broken gear and hacked coding to make yourself invincible!"

"I'm evil. What did you expect?" Arackaiser asked bluntly.

As Silverbolt spluttered in outrage, Blackarachnia scratched her head. "I have _no idea_ what either of you are talking about…"

"I do, and I vish I didn't," Tarantulas murmured, feeling sympathy towards the gorgeous arachnid that had ensnared his heart in her web of love and metallic thread.

"Er…milady, I don't know who Arackaiser is or…what precisely Silverbolt is talking about," the Rhyperior said as he consulted a handheld computer resembling a scroll, giving the winged Absol a puzzled look. "However, I've checked facial recognition against our database and I believe that Sunflora is none other than Chobin Kaminko, ranked third evilest Pokémon alive on our list of criminals awaiting judgment due to countless crimes and depravities—mostly sexual in nature-too unspeakable to describe."

Blackarachnia raised her many eyebrows, which Tarantulas found positively alluring. "How unspeakable are we talking here?"

"There are pictures," the Rhyperior said, showing her the scroll-computer.

She recoiled in horror. "Sweet Light of Justice, that's horrible!"

"I know," the Rhyperior said.

"I didn't even know you could _do_ that to a Pokémon!" Blackarachnia said, shocked.

"Normally, you can't. He found a way," the Rhyperior said distastefully.

"Do what to a Pokémon?" Silverbolt asked, concerned about whatever had caused his superior such distress.

"You don't want to know, Bowser, there are some things that can't be unseen," Blackarachnia said with a shiver. "Unless you can delete memories from your hard drive like I can. Aaaand…they're gone. Phew. That's a relief."

"Wish I could do that…" the Rhyperior grumbled.

"Okay, I think we seem to have a serious case of mistaken identity here," Arackaiser said, looking annoyed. "First of all, my name's not Chobin whoever, it's Arackaiser. _Arackaiser._ Second, I'm not a Sunflora, I'm an Ariados, something that should be _obvious_ to anyone with even a single working eye! Do you not see the distinctive markings? The multiple legs? The mandibles dripping with poison? Hmm?" He spread his arms out and slowly turned around to show them all of his body, revealing he had absolutely none of these things. As the agents of Judgment exchanged confused looks, he continued. "Third—and how appropriate that this is the third thing—if I were on a list of the evilest criminals alive, I'd be number one, not three! I don't know what some pansy-ass Sunflora did to get that high a ranking, but I assure you I'm much worse! And finally…I thought that Absol's name was Silverbolt, but you just called him Bowser. What's with that? Is that his last name or a nickname or something?"

Both Blackarachnia and Silverbolt flushed, and the Rhyperior snickered. "Uh, well…" the Galvantula said nervously.

"And what's he doing with wings? You call my magnificent creation an obscenity, but are okay with modifying his body so he can have wings? Isn't that rather hypocritical of you, especially considering what you've done to _your own_ body? Then again, what else would I expect from a group of religious extremists?" Arackaiser sneered.

Silverbolt bristled with rage, as did Tarantulas. "How DARE you impugn my lady's honor and call her a hypocrite and a terrorist?" he snarled.

"Yes, how _dare_ you do zat!" Tarantulas echoed.

"Calm down, Fido, I can handle this," Blackarachnia said as one of her legs stroked the Absol's back, causing him to calm down and filling Tarantulas with envy. Thoughts of all the horrible and fascinating things he could do to a unique specimen like a winged Absol flashed through his mind and were saved to his memory files to be perused at a later time. "The modifications we've made to ourselves were so that we could better serve our cause of destroying evil and purifying the world. That _thing_ outside is a monster generating a storm that could kill millions of innocent people. There's no comparison."

"I could debate the point, but I suppose you're right," Arackaiser admitted reluctantly. "Still, that doesn't excuse you for getting my name and species wrong, since I'm _clearly_ an Ariados named Arackaiser, not a Sunflora named-"

"Oh, enough of zis! Move over!" Tarantulas, fed up with Chobin acting stupid and taking up time that could be more productively spent allowing him to woo that sexy cyborg, shouted as he rushed over and shoved the startled Arackaiser out of the way. "Ignore him, he's an idiot who has no idea vhat he's talking about! I'm ze _real_ supervillain around zese parts. You like vhat you see?"

"What…what do you think you're doing?" Arackaiser shouted furiously.

"Ve have a lot in common, you know. I'm an actual Ariados, unlike my poor deluded colleague. And I'm part robot, just like you! It's like fate or somezing, saying ve should hook up or somezing. Yeah, I know I'm a bad guy and you're a bad guy who zinks you're a good guy, but I zink if ve spent a little time togezzer and got to know each ozzer better I zink I could persuade you to fully embrace evil. You should totally come to ze dark side, especially since it has all _zis!_" he said, striking what was, in his mind, a totally sexy pose that was in reality anything but. His pheromone factories (literal factories, mind you, monned by microscopic nanobot workers), long disused due to Tarantulas' utter lack of interest in anything of a sexual nature as more and more of his body was consumed by machinery, kicked into overdrive and started churning out so many chemicals that it started becoming difficult to breathe in the control room. Some of the Nihilators started choking, while others became overwhelmed by the scent and started making out. Disgusted, Arackaiser quickly turned the air conditioning up to full power, clearing the room of the noxious fumes as fast as they were being pumped out.

"…Is this seriously happening? Am I seriously being propositioned by a creepy evil cyborg Ariados using unbelievably cheesy and outdated pickup lines?" Blackarachnia asked incredulously.

"Yes, this is seriously happening," the Rhyperior said, equally dumbfounded.

"The lady is taken," Silverbolt snarled.

Tarantulas' eye narrowed slightly. "Zat can be easily remedied."

"And just who are you, Mr. 'real supervillain?'" Blackarachnia asked skeptically.

"Doctor Tomaru Tarantulas!" Tarantulas said proudly. "Look me up on zat list of yours. I'll bet I'm close to ze top!"

"He's right," the Rhyperior said as he checked his computer. "Doctor Tomaru Tarantulas, ranked number four on our list of criminals awaiting judgment due to crimes against Pokémonity and countless experiments that violate every ethical or moral code ever conceived by pretty much any society. Ever."

"You have pictures of that, too?" Blackarachnia asked warily.

"Yes, actually. Take a look," the Rhyperior said, showing her his computer.

Blackarachnia grimaced. "Eugh! That's almost as bad as the other guy's work."

Tarantulas laughed arrogantly. "Yes, pretty vile, isn't it? I'm _vay_ eviler zan…vait a minute, did you say number _four?_ I'm lower on your list zan Chobin, my _assistant?_"

"Yes, that would appear to be the case," the Rhyperior said.

"But-but zat can't be! Chobin's an idiot of ze highest—or razzer, _lowest_—degree! Sure, I love ze guy, but come on! I'm vay eviler zan he is! I'm a freaking mad scientist viz a super-high intellect and countless horrific and Arceus-defying experiments under his belt, who designed pretty much every damn battleship and giant valking arachnoid fortress you see here! Chobin's just a psychotic freak viz some really disturbing fetishes! How could he _possibly_ be eviler zan me? And if I'm number four, who're ze ozzer two?"

"Number two is Bellum Yukihimi and the position of number one, the evilest being alive, is the mysterious being only known as 'Oblivion's Shadow,'" the Rhyperior said.

"…OH COME ON! I'm lower zan BELLUM? ZAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!" Tarantulas screamed incredulously.

"NONE of what you're talking about makes sense! I have no idea who these other individuals are and why _I'm _not even on this list!" Arackaiser said furiously, shoving Tarantulas back out of the way. "I will show you myself why I am the greatest supervillain the world has ever seen! Prepare yourself, for I think you'll be experiencing Arceus' _own_ judgment soon enough! Have all our forces engage Judgment!"

"What? But sir, what about the, ah, Justice Force? And Turtle Titan?" O asked in alarm.

"Maelstrom and Zhu Bajie can handle them long enough for us to deal with these ingrates! Once we've destroyed them for the grievous insult they've dealt me, we can finish off what's left of those meddling 'heroes!'" Arackaiser snarled.

"Um…b-but…Doctor, sir, don't you think we should-" O stammered nervously, desperately appealing to the other superior officer present.

"Yes, destroy zem all!" Tarantulas bellowed.

"…Sir?" O asked incredulously.

"Zat bitch implied I'm less evil zan Chobin or Bellum! Oblivion's Shadow I can take, but being lower zan zose two? No vay! Plus, she broke my heart—or ze pump I replaced it viz-so she's got to go," Tarantulas said.

O sweatdropped, getting the distinct feeling this wasn't going to end well. "…Oh dear…"

"All hands, prepare for battle!" Blackarachnia commanded. "We came here to fight Team Getem, but it looks like our mission parameters have just changed."

"But milady, Team Getem's just outside! They're using the Plates we need in battle! We can't just ignore them!" the Rhyperior said in alarm.

"That's true, but we can't exactly do nothing and let these fiends have their way, can we?" Blackarachnia pointed out. "And in any event, these villains are led by two of the Pokémon most desperately in need of judgment I've ever seen. We can wait on collecting the Plates until we take care of these wretches, Light of Justice will be happy even if we fail to get the Plates once we tell him we've rid the world of such great evils as these! Purifying the world of evil _is_ our primary mission after all, gathering artifacts like the Plates are just one means to an end."

The Rhyperior bowed his head. "As you say, milady."

"We shall do justice, and avenge Lord Nightwindshadowflame!" Silverbolt howled.

Blackarachnia and everyone else in the room sweatdropped. "Er, right. That too."

As the diametrically opposed forces of Nihilator and Judgment began to do battle, the other heroes rallied to fight against Maelstrom. "So, does anybody have a plan on how we can take this thing out?" Happy asked.

"Who needs a plan? Let's just go in there and bash that thing into submission!" Briney suggested, cracking his knuckles.

"It's going to take more than that to defeat it," Ash said. "We need to open the cage in its chest and get me in close so I can drain its energy with my staff."

"Why does it have a cage in its chest like that anyway? It makes its vulnerable spots not only visible, but accessible. Wouldn't it make more sense for there to just be solid flesh or armor plating over its torso instead?" Palmer commented.

"Dude, it's a boss battle. Don't sweat it on the details!" Zippo said, causing Palmer to give him a confused look and Sparky to sigh in exasperation.

"Well, getting close to it will be a problem due to all the chaotic elemental energy crackling around it, not to mention the devastating attacks it probably has in its arsenal," Lugia admitted. "Even I would have some difficulty."

"Then I may be of some assistance," Bob said. "My Lightningrod ability should be able to absorb all of its electric attacks."

"What? Won't that hurt a lot, especially now that that thing's beefed up so much?" Dean asked in alarm.

"Perhaps, but that just makes it all the more imperative that such attacks are kept out of play," Bob reasoned. Dean frowned, admitting he was right but not quite liking it. Bob was the only other vampire left. He didn't want him to risk his unlife so freely.

"The power of my Zap Plate should be able to mitigate its electric power as well," Sparky spoke up, much to Dean's relief. "I can absorb it too, but unlike normal electricity, it'll harm me instead of healing me due to its Shadow nature."

"What? But if that's the case, then you can't do it!" Ritchie protested.

"Of course I can, and I must. If we're letting Bob act as a lightning rod, then how can I possibly refuse to do the same thing?" Sparky said reasonably, forcing Ritchie to grimace and reluctantly nod in agreement. "Between the two of us, we should be able to effectively nullify that element."

"Thank you. Your aid will be much appreciated," Bob said in relief. He hadn't relished having to take on all that electricity by himself, but he would have been willing to do so even if Sparky hadn't stepped up to help him.

"Since its ice power has weakened due to Ash removing a treasure, our firepower should have enough…well, fire power to burn it up," Lily said, forming a fireball.

"Well put, Lily!" Fantina said approvingly.

"That won't do much good since its part Fire type," Salty pointed out. "But if you add in my Splash Plate's effect, I can weaken that part of it as well. Might do some good."

"It'll do even more good with some help from yours truly!" Zippo said. "If Sparky can absorb its lightning with his Plate, then I can do the same with its flames using mine!"

"That's an excellent idea, Zippo!" Ritchie said.

"Yeah, I know," the Charmeleon said smugly. He paused. "So, uh, isn't anyone gonna try and talk me out of it because of it being too dangerous or something?" His friends shook their heads. He sweatdropped. "Come on! Not even you, Rose?"

"Why? I know you can handle it," she said, looking perplexed.

He blinked. "Oh…thanks…"

"So, the plan is that we counter its attacks with our own abilities that are capable of neutralizing them, and then hit it with everything we have in between?" Palmer summarized. "That sounds like a workable strategy."

"We'll still need to open that cage once we get close enough," Ash said. "Though I guess we could just smash it open…"

"Smashing's always good," Tiny said. A number of the others nodded in agreement.

"Ha, if that's the case, then just leave it to us!" Briney said, pointing to himself Bow, and the Goldorringtons. "When it comes to smashing things up, there's none better than us! Why, I think we racked up more destroyed ships than the rest of you lot combined!"

Buck blinked. "We did?"

"…You didn't keep score?" Briney said.

"I, uh, didn't know we were supposed to," Buck said. Briney facepalmed.

"Not only zat, but my wind power should be able to keep it off-balance," Bow said. "After all, everyzing zat flies must bow to ze wind."

"My spirits should be able to help with that as well," Rebecca said. "They're a bit…unstable at the moment due to all the chaos, but I think they can still do the job."

"They can. I know it," Cherry said confidently, causing Rebecca to smile gratefully.

"I don't suppose you have anything to add, Cherry?" Ash asked the oracle.

She shook her head. "Nope, I think you've figured out what you need to do fairly well on your own. Oh, and Todd? Don't try sneaking off, we're watching you."

Todd, who had been quietly trying to make his getaway, yelped in alarm and Mareepishly turned back to the disapproving looks of the group. "Eep! Uh, I wasn't sneaking off, I was just, ah, trying to get a better vantage point for the totally awesome action shots that you guys are gonna make, and it's going to be a little, er, trickier to do that if I'm right in the middle of it…yeah…"

"Butler, snap 'is neck," Bow said calmly.

"With pleasure, milady," the Dusclops said, raising his very large and very strong hands.

"Th-that won't be necessary! On, ah, second thought, I'm sure I can get perfectly good photos up close and personal…right where I'm most likely to get hurt…" Todd whimpered as he slunk back to the group.

"That's a good boy," Cherry said in amusement.

"Okay, and once you've smashed the cage open, I can drain that thing's power," Ash said. He frowned. "Though…it might take more than one run, since there's two things to grab and I can only do one at a time."

"Well, I'd help if I could, but I'm a little inconvenienced in that I don't have a staff or the knowledge on how to use it," Ritchie said, trying to keep the resentment out of his voice.

"Oh, is zat all? Now zat I zink about it, I may be able to 'elp wiz zat," Fantina said, getting an idea.

She floated over to Ash and fixed her eyes on his staff. Her eyes flashed, and a glowing green ring appeared in the air, encircling the staff. Ash blinked in surprise as the ring ran down the length of the staff, bathing the weapon in green light, passing through his arm in the process with a faint tingling sensation. When it reached the bottom of the staff, the ring vanished and Fantina's eyes returned to normal. "What was that?" he asked.

"You'll see in just a second," Fantina said cryptically. "Now…" She narrowed her eyes, scrunching up her face in concentration. Particles and motes of light converged before her and, in a flash of light, coalesced into an exact replica of Ash's staff. "Voila!"

"Ooh, neat!" Zippo said.

"Wh-what did you just do?" Ash cried in alarm.

"Was that a cloning spell? It didn't feel like a cloning spell," said the surprised Goldor.

"Zat's because it wasn't," Bow said. "It was Mama's special matter-creation technique! Razzer zan making a simple copy of Monsieur Ash's staff, she crafted a new one from scratch, wiz ze exact same properties and abilities!"

"…I _must_ learn that spell," Goldor said, eyes wide with greed.

"Yeah, somehow I don't think that's going to happen," Buck said cynically.

"Yep, even if I could read her mind—which I can't. Stupid mental shields—I wouldn't give it to you. You'd do too many wrong things with it," Briney said.

"Briney! I thought we were friends!" Goldor said, aghast.

"We are. Which is why I know better than to let you have that kind of knowledge," Briney said. Goldor scowled at him.

"This…this is…for me?" Ritchie whispered in awe as Fantina floated over, levitating the staff before his eyes.

"Certainly," Fantina said. "I've 'eard you talking about 'ow much you wish you 'ad one like Ash's…zat it will 'elp you feel more like a true Aura Guardian or somezing, oui?"

"Non! I mean, no! I mean, it's not like that!" Ritchie said quickly. "I _am _an Aura Guardian. But…like most of my kind, there's so much from our glory days, when we were at our strongest, that's been lost to us. Artifacts and weapons like that staff can help me to properly channel my Aura and unlock my full potential."

"…You're wearing one of the sacred Plates of Arceus, which amplifies your power to near-godhood. How is that not your full potential?" Dean asked skeptically.

"It enhances my Fighting-type powers, but not my Aura," Ritchie said defensively. "Something like Ash's staff…or, well, this new one…will help me do that."

"Ooh, can I have one?" Cruise asked.

"Oh, oh, or me?" Tiny asked hopefully.

"Er, I don't zink you're quite capable of using somezing like zis yet, dearies," Fantina said carefully.

"Awwww," both the Pupitars whined.

"Well, how about when we evolve?" Cruise asked.

"Yeah, can we have a magic staff then?" Tiny asked eagerly.

"Tyranitar arms are too short to make proper use of an Aura staff," Lugia said, saving Fantina from having to find an answer. "However, there are other weapons and armor that can be crafted to enhance your abilities, once you've gained enough skill to utilize them properly. I believe Ash may have some schematics for something like that in that old book of his, isn't that right, Ash?"

Ash blinked. "I do? Oh, uh, I mean, yeah, sure, I think so."

"Hmm…you know, while you're at it, I could probably use a copy of that book too…" Ritchie said, glancing at Fantina.

"Nice try, but I don't zink I'm quite up to creating a perfect duplicate of somezing like zat," Fantina said. "Aura isn't really my specialty. You're lucky I was able to make zis zing correctly, I was 'alf worried it would explode."

"Oh." Ritchie glanced at the staff cautiously. "Um, it won't, will it?"

"No. Well, I'm pretty sure it won't, anyway," Fantina said. This did not reassure Ritchie in the slightest.

Still, he let go of Cruise's underside with one hand—still supporting his weight with the other hand thanks to the strength from the Fist Plate—and snatched the hovering staff out of the air. The crystal in its top pulsed and flashed with blue light, and Ritchie's eyes widened, a smile ghosting across his lips. "Whoa…this…yeah…this feels…right…like…like I'm supposed to have something like this…"

"Bear in mind," Sparky said warningly. "It is not the weapon that makes the warrior. It's your heart that is the true source of your strength, not that staff."

"That sounds like something Pikachu would say," Ash commented.

Sparky frowned. "…Hmm. That doesn't surprise me, somehow…"

Ritchie nodded. "Yeah, I know, I'll keep that in mind."

"Speaking of which, even though you have that thing, you don't know how to use it. Lugia, I don't suppose you could…?" Ash glanced at his steed imploringly.

Lugia frowned. "If I could what?"

"Plant the knowledge of what he needs to do in his head, like you did to me?" Ash asked.

Lugia frowned. "I don't know, Ash. The prophecy said that it was you, the Chosen One, who was supposed to slay the three birds. It never said anything about another Lucario."

"Did the prophecy mention the three birds would combine into a single giant monster?" Ash asked.

"Well, no," Lugia admitted.

"Did the prophecy say that I'd be fighting the birds with a veritable army of friends at my back?" Ash pressed, causing the eponymous allies to grin.

"No…" Lugia said reluctantly.

"Then what's the harm if he gets the same knowledge I did? Even if he's helping out, just like the others, I'll still deal the final blow. Or at least, I'll try to. That's what I'm supposed to do, right?" Ash asked.

"I…guess so," Lugia said with a sigh, giving in. "I had thought the prophecy to be relatively clear-cut, but I suppose there's enough leeway for something like that."

"Unlike a certain other oracle's prophecies," Todd grumbled.

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Cherry said.

"It is! It means we all have to dance to your tune if we want your vision of the future to come true!" Todd complained.

"Oh no, you have every right to refuse to follow my visions and try to make your own path," Cherry said.

Todd perked up at this. "Really?"

"Yes, there's just no guarantee that the completely new future you'll create won't be one where you either die a horrible death, live out the rest of your life in mediocrity, or both," Cherry said sweetly.

Todd blanched at that. "And, uh, if we obey your vision, that won't happen? To me?"

"Perhaps," Cherry said vaguely. "Perhaps not."

"Oh, come on!" Todd whined.

"You took lewd photos of an oracle without her permission and didn't share any of the profits with her. What did you _think_ was going to happen, that I wouldn't foresee some kind of horrible doom for you?" Cherry said bluntly.

Todd sighed miserably. "I guess so…"

"All right, so let's do this," Ritchie said.

"Very well. I will need you to retract the armor around your head, however, it protects you from my psychic powers," Lugia instructed.

"Hmm? Oh, okay, just so long as you don't screw up anything inside my head while you're in there," Ritchie said, closing his eyes in concentration. The armor encompassing his head liquefied and rolled back down his neck, exposing his face.

"Don't worry, I'll be gentle," Lugia promised, eyes glowing.

"…Is it just me, or was there too much innuendo in that exchange?" Zippo asked.

His friends groaned. "You just _had_ to say it, didn't you?" Sparky asked in exasperation.

"Yes. Yes, I did," Zippo said, not the least bit ashamed.

"It is done," Lugia said, his eyes going back to normal.

Ritchie blinked a few times, looking slightly dazed. "Whoa. That was…intense…and…and…" He glanced down at his staff. His eyes widened, and the glow from the crystal increased. "I…I know how to use this now. I know…I know what it is I need to do! This…this is incredible! Thank you, Lugia!"

"It is…no problem," Lugia said, clearly still somewhat doubtful as to whether this was the right thing to do.

His uncertainty was at least partially confirmed when Ritchie then asked, "Hey, does this mean I'm the Chosen One now too?"

"NO!" Lugia bellowed. "There can only be one Chosen One. It's in the title. Chosen _One_. Not Chosen Ones, not Chosen Two or Three or Four, Chosen ONE. And that one is Ash. Not you. Ash. He is the Chosen One. End of story."

"Okay, okay, I get it already," Ritchie said defensively. "No need to blow up on me. Mon, talk about overreacting…" Lugia growled at him.

_Was that necessary?_ Ash asked Lugia.

_Yes. Didn't want him to get any ideas about a destiny that was not his but yours and yours alone,_ Lugia said gruffly. _He has a fate of his own that must be followed. Turning away from it will only invite disaster. One almost as bad as what may happen if you are unable to fulfill yours…_

_Really?_ Ash asked in surprise.

_You don't say?_ Briney asked.

_Yes, although I'm afraid I can't give you much detail on it. My specialty is Ash's destiny, not…wait a minute, you were listening?_ Lugia cried in astonishment.

_Yep,_ Briney said without shame.

_Briney, get out of our heads!_ Ash snapped.

_No,_ Briney said. Ash growled in frustration.

_You know, I could probably just block him out,_ Lugia said.

_Could you?_ Ash asked gratefully. _That would be a big help!_

_Wait, what? Oh no, don't you da-_ Briney was cut off in mid-sentence. Ash sighed in relief, glad his mind was his own again.

_Excellent, now it's just you and me! _Lugia said, interrupting his thoughts.

_And me. Who isn't here,_ Darkrai said.

_Will you stop doing that? What are you even doing in here?_ Ash asked in exasperation.

_I'm bored, okay? And Sasha isn't doing anything interesting, she's just staring at the controls of her ship while Leo and Zippo's program does all the work. She's not even killing anything! What kind of high priestess is she if she doesn't kill something during a major battle?_ Darkrai complained.

_High priestess? I'm getting confused. What is your involvement in all this, Darkrai?_ Said the frustrated Lugia.

_I'll fill you in later. Much later. I shouldn't even be talking to you right now, actually. In fact, I'm not talking to you, this isn't actually me, this is just a figment of your imagination. Yeah. So I'm just gonna erase myself from existence now. And remember, if you hear from me again, it's not actually me, just your fevered imaginations pretending to be me, which isn't really that much of a stretch considering the conditions of your psyches. Wow, you guys sure have a lot of issues in here. Especially you, Ash. You need a therapist something fierce,_ Darkrai said. _Then again, so does Lugia, what with everything he's seen over the last few million years and spending the last several weeks trapped in a suicide loop inside his own head-_

_GO AWAY! _Ash shouted.

_Normally I would advise against talking to Darkrai like that, but I must concur. Darkrai, leave us alone!_ Lugia said.

_Who's Darkrai? Nobody here but a figment of your imagination,_ Darkrai said innocently.

_I'm imagining punching you in the face,_ Ash said sourly.

_Ouch. I think I actually felt that,_ Darkrai complained. _Fine, I'm out of here. I can tell when I'm not wanted._ There was the sound of footsteps, then a door opening and violently being shut.

…_That was odd,_ Lugia said after a moment.

_And you called _my_ friends weird?_ Ash asked.

_Hmm. Point. He's not always like this, you know, _Lugia said.

_Let me guess, the war 'changed' him too?_ Ash asked.

_Yes, but not this way. He's been like this forever. One of the ways we cope with extraordinarily long life-spans is developing an…odd sense of humor, and as one of the oldest of our kind Darkrai's had more than enough time to craft his,_ Lugia said.

_So I see,_ Ash said. _So…think he's really gone?_

_I'm not sure. Darkrai?_ There was no response. _Darkrai?_ Nothing happened. _Well, I guess that answers that question._

_Not necessarily. Figment of our imagination that's pretending to be Darkrai?_ Ash called.

_Yes?_ The figment of their imagination pretending to be Darkrai asked. Ash and Lugia groaned. _Well! If you're going to act like that, I don't know why I even bother sticking around with you lot!_ He huffed in annoyance.

_Oh for the love of…this is getting ridiculous,_ Lugia complained.

_Let's just stop this already and get down to business,_ Ash suggested.

_Sounds good to me, _the thing that wasn't Darkrai said.

_Nobody asked you!_ Ash and Lugia shouted.

_Sheesh! What's their problem?_ The not-Darkrai grumbled to himself. They did their best to ignore him.

Out loud, Ash said, "So Ritchie, you think you've got the hang of how to use that thing?"

Ritchie nodded. "Pretty sure I do, yeah."

"In that case, let's get this started! All right, everyone! Let's do this!" Ash yelled.

"CHAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE!" Zippo bellowed dramatically.

And they did. As one, they surged towards Maelstrom, who stopped doing…whatever it had been doing for the last several minutes instead of attacking them and decided to, well, attack them. With a tremendous shriek, it flapped all six of its wings at once, sending a galestorm of wind tinged with fire, ice, and lightning flying towards them.

"Leave zis to me!" Bow shouted as she raced ahead of the others, whirling at high speeds and dissipating into a purple tornado that sucked up the charged winds being generated by Maelstrom, growing bigger and gaining stripes of elemental power as it absorbed and incorporated the monster's attack into itself.

"And now, to return the favor, plus extra!" Briney said, whirling into a Rapid Spin as the Goldorringtons spun around him, quickly generating their trademark metallic tornado. The tornado spun into Bow's, merging with it and causing it to grow exponentially, gaining more stripes in the process.

"Hmm…Ash, I think we can add something to that as well," Lugia said, getting an idea.

"Like before, then?" Ash asked, getting the same idea.

"Precisely! Hang on tight!" Lugia started spinning at high speeds as Ash ignited in blue Aura. A white and blue tornado rapidly formed around them and spun towards the already massive multichromatic one whirling before them, assimilating into it and causing it to get even _bigger_ as it absorbed the power of Ash's Aura.

Now even larger than the tornado that had clashed with Shadow Lugia's earlier, the magnificent whirlwind turned horizontal and surged towards the startled Maelstrom, who shrieked angrily and decided to counter with a tornado of its own, spinning super-fast as it launched itself towards the heroes and causing fire, ice, lightning, and Shadow Aura to swirl around it, blending together in a massive storm of chaos that collided with the more ordered and colorful one generated by the heroes. A tremendous amount of energy blasted out from the point of impact, shattering the ground beneath them and nearly flinging the other heroes back. "Wow! That's a ton of power!" said the impressed Tiny.

"And it looks pretty photogenic, too!" Todd said, snapping pictures. "I mean, how often do you see a weather formation as weird as this, right?"

"Yes, but there might be too much power…it looks like despite everyone working together, that monster is still strong enough to hold them back!" said the alarmed Lily.

"Then let's do something to take away its power. Bob, with me!" Sparky said, streaking towards the tornado surrounding Maelstrom, lightning crackling in his wake.

"Right! Here I come!" Bob said, flying after him.

"Be careful!" Dean called anxiously.

"Zippo, you should go too!" Ritchie said.

"On my way, babe! Cowabunga!" Zippo cried as he surfed towards the tornado.

"Oh…I hope he'll be okay…" Rose said anxiously.

The three heroes approached the vortex of evil energy from the sides and below, looking up warily at the chaotic mass of destructive power seething just above them, grimacing as waves of power rolled off the two storms and buffeted their much smaller frames, trying to blow them away. "Phew! A lotta bad mojo up there…" Zippo said uneasily.

"There'll be a lot less by the time we're through," Sparky said. "This is probably going to hurt a bit, so you might want to brace yourself."

"I can take it! No problem!" Zippo boasted, not looking half as confident as he acted.

"I will bear whatever pain is necessary to put this monster to rest," Bob said gravely.

Sparky gave him an admiring grin. "Spoken like a true hero. You know, the vampires my ancestors are said to have slain in battke were not nearly as valiant as you and your kin. I am honored to fight alongside you."

"And you as well, noble knight," Bob said, nodding graciously.

"Blahblahblah, can we get this over with already?" Zippo asked testily, glancing worriedly up at the chaotic twister. "I don't like being so close to this thing…"

"If that's the case, you're going to like what we're about to do even worse," Sparky said, raising his sword as his armor started to glow. Lightning bolts shot out from the tornado and struck the tip of Sparky's sword, running down its length and into his body, causing him to grit his teeth as his body shook and arcs of angry-looking electricity sparked around him. Bob spread his ear-wings and drew closer as well, gasping in pain as more lightning shot off from the tornado and hit him as well. He squeezed his eyes shut and bit his tongue to keep from screaming and drew upon his Lightningrod power, absorbing as much of the negative electricity as he could stand.

Zippo swallowed when he saw the agonized looks on his friends' faces, knowing that was about to be him in a moment. "Oh mon…all right, here goes!" He took a deep breath and called upon the power of the Flame Plate, his armor glowing a brilliant red. The stripe of fire on the evil tornado shifted, and suddenly a stream of flames shot out of the stripe and struck him on the chest, flowing into his body. He gasped in pain as what felt like molten lava surged through his veins, which would normally be a good thing since he was a Fire-type, but not in this instance. In this instance, the lava actually _hurt_, and felt like it probably would for most people if lava was going through their veins rather than blood. For a moment, his will faltered, the pain and the sheer amount of energy pumping into him from the evil storm threatening to overwhelm him…

But it did not. He refused to let it. After all, he'd once spent an entire week without budging from his computer trying to take down a marathon boss on one of his MMORPGs, and he'd _won._ (He'd also nearly died, both in-game and in real life, but he didn't consider that to be quite as important.) If he could do that, then a little pain like this was _nothing!_ (Well, okay, maybe not nothing, but still not as bad as over a hundred hours without sleeping. Or blinking. At least, he was pretty sure it wasn't as bad as that. It was hard to remember much of those days, whenever he looked back it was clouded by a haze of soda, bright colors and flashing lights, and the noise from his parents struggling to break down the barricade he'd erected over the basement door.) Clenching his fists, he gave a monly shout—which most certainly was _not_ a scream of pain—and drew upon the power of his armor, calling more and more fire down from the tornado, refusing to let his friends down or in any way seem inadequate in comparison to Sparky.

As the three Pokémon continued soaking up power from the tornado, the stripes of electricity and fire in the dark storm began to thin out, leaving only ice and Shadow at full strength as its mass shrunk by at least a third. The heroic tornado immediately pressed the advantage, surging forwards and trying to slam the dark tornado back, but Maelstrom's vortex compacted on itself and increased its spin, moving faster and more violently as it struggled to keep from losing ground. "They did it! They weakened that monster!" Rose said excitedly.

"Yes, but it doesn't look like it's ready to quit just yet," Butler observed.

"Zen we'll just 'ave to 'elp ze ozzers put it down, won't we?" Fantina said, powering up.

Ritchie nodded. "Right! Everyone who can, do something to increase the strength of our friends' tornado! Everyone else, fire at the monster!" They nodded and got to it.

"It can't hurt to have a little more wind, so this spell should do the trick!" Rose said, flapping her wings and swinging her staff, causing a gale-force level continuous gust of wind to blast past her and into the chromatic twister, making it gradually grow.

"I can't do magic, but I think I might be able to do something similar…here goes!" Happy said, her form vibrating as she spawned a few dozen shed skins which got into formation and started beating their wings in unison, sending even more wind blowing into the tornado generated by their friends.

"Looks like what they say about the Butterfree Effect is true after all," Rebecca joked.

"The what?" Tiny asked.

"There's an old saying that if a Butterfree flaps its wings and makes a little wind, somewhere on the other side of the world a hurricane forms," Palmer explained. "It's a metaphor for how the tiniest actions can have the biggest consequences."

Cherry nodded. "Something those in my line of work understand all too well."

"Oh," Tiny said. "But…why is the Butterfree making the hurricane on the other side of the world? Can't it just make a Whirlwind where it is if it flaps its wings hard enough?"

Palmer sweatdropped. "Yes, well…it's just a metaphor…"

"Are you sure you've got the name right? I thought it was called the Beautifly Effect," Dean said.

"It depends on where in the world you are. In regions where Butterfrees are more common, it's the Butterfree Effect. In places where they've got more Beautiflies, it's called the Beautifly Effect," Cherry explained. "Heck, I hear there are even some areas where it's called the Venomoth, Dustox, or Mothim effect."

"Why not just call it the Flying-type effect then? Because pretty much every Flying-type Pokémon is capable of making a Whirlwind," Tiny said, still confused. "Heck, so can lots of Pokémon who don't even have wings, they just need to spin fast enough!"

"I already told you, it's a metaphor," Palmer said in exasperation.

"Um, I don't mean to be rude, but do you suppose that we could, maybe, um, go and help out already?" Lily asked timidly.

"An excellent idea, Lily. Come, we 'ave work to do!" Fantina said.

"Aren't you going?" Rebecca asked Todd, who hung back as the rest went on ahead.

"What? Oh, no, I'll be much more useful here," he said, flapping his wings at the hero tornado. Other than a (very) faint breeze, there was no indication he was actually doing anything productive.

"You're barely doing anything," Rebecca observed.

"Look, I don't know any moves that can help out, okay? I'm a photographer, not a fighter!" Todd snapped, turning red in frustration and embarrassment. "And besides, it's not like _you're_ doing anything!"

Rebecca raised an eyebrow. "No?" Abruptly, her eyes started glowing a bright white, and an ominous wind (not to be confused with the move Ominous Wind) started billowing around her, her tentacles flailing about as a faint wailing could be heard in the air.

One of the flailing tentacles smacked Todd in the face. "Ow! You did that on purpose!" he complained, rubbing his nose.

She ignored him. "Spirits of wind, of fire, of ice, of thunder, come forth! I bid thee to ignore the wails of that atrocity that drive thee into such distress and heed my will!"

Todd started as slender feminine wind spirits, flaming serpentine fire spirits, crystalline glittering ice spirits, and violently crackling electric spirits manifested around her. "Ooooh…" He snapped a picture. Unfortunately, much to his dismay, the spirits weren't captured on the film. Fortunately, he'd brought his spirit lens attachment for just such an occasion. He rummaged through his trusty bag for a moment for a pair of glasses, stuck them over his beak, and took another picture. Much to his delight, the spirits were visible on the photo that popped out of his mouth moments later. "Perfect!" Then one of Rebecca's tentacles lashed out and knocked the photo from his grip. He glared at her. "Okay, now I know you're doing that on purpose!"

She continued to ignore him. Or seemed to, anyway. Todd could swear she was smirking, though it was hard to tell due to all the light from her eyes and the spirits swirling around her. "My kindred, elementals of wind, of fire, of ice, of thunder, I ask of thee: aid my friends in battling this horror! Grant them the strength to prevail!"

With an otherworldly shriek that Todd assumed was a 'yes,' the spirits streaked away from Rebecca, merging with the chromatic tornado and causing the elemental stripes spiraling along its length to grow stronger. "Neat!" He took another picture.

Rebecca was not done yet, however. "Spirits of the light, I call to thee! Descend from thy lofty plane to aid us in our battle against evil!"

As Todd looked on in awe, a half-dozen incredibly beautiful radiant beings of pure light appeared in (what else?) a blinding flash around Rebecca. Knowing the glare from the light was too much for his current lens, he flipped down his light filter (a pair of sunglasses attachments on top of the glasses he was already wearing) and took a picture. The ethereal beings didn't look quite as magnificent on static film, but he supposed it would suffice. Another tentacle lashed out at him, but this time he was ready and raised a wing to deflect it. "Ha! Not gonna get me this time!" Then the wind blowing around them increased and the photo was yanked out of his grip and flung away. "…Oh, COME ON!"

"Pierce the darkness with your light! Banish the evil from our midst!" Rebecca commanded. The light spirits shot away from the Frillish like laser beams, heading for the dark tornado surrounding Maelstrom. She smiled, her eyes dimming as the wind around them died down. "There. That should do the trick!"

"Very good. I don't suppose you'd be willing to summon some more spirits so I can get another take at that?" Todd asked.

The wind picked up again, and her eyes started glowing angrily once more. "YOU WOULD ABUSE THE POWER TO DRAW BEINGS OF PURE ENERGY AND SPIRIT ACROSS THE DIMENSIONAL DIVIDE FROM THEIR REALM TO OURS FOR PROFIT AND A CHEAP PHOTO OP?"

Todd cringed back. "I'll take that as a no, then."

"The heck are those?" Ritchie asked as the light spirits materialized nearby and started blasting the dark tornado with laser beams.

"Allies, come, let us join our power to zeirs!" Fantina called, eyes glowing as several massive glyphs formed around the tornado and blasted it with tremendous beams of light.

Seeing her attack, the others quickly followed suit, Butler firing a Dark Pulse while Diane shot a Psyshock. Lily, knowing her fire magic probably wouldn't have much effect on the beast, instead used her Substitute power to make a few clones of herself and had each manifest several dozen Shadow Balls, which they flung at the vortex from all angles. Dean opened his jaws impossibly wide and vomited out a tremendous blast of darkness. Cherry summoned a massive Future Sight energy ball while Bitey fired black Night Shade beams from his eyes. Salty formed a giant Hydro Cannon ball of water over his head and hurled it at the vortex. Palmer concentrated and split into seven, launching himself at the tornado with his trademark Seventh Slash technique. Tiny and Cruise both fired Hidden Power orbs at the whirlwind. Ritchie was about to generate an Aura Sphere, until he remembered that both his hands were occupied; one holding his new staff, the other holding onto Cruise. "Hey, buddy, do you think I could get on top of you?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, sure thing, Daddy!" Cruise said, pausing in his attack. Relieved, Ritchie swung himself up on top of his surrogate son one-handedly, stuck his staff under one arm, and quickly formed the largest Aura Sphere he could muster, one at least twice as big as he was. With a cry of fury, he hurled it at the tornado.

That last push seemed to do the trick. With all the attacks smashing into the weakened tornado at once, Maelstrom could no longer maintain its technique, and found its spin faltering, the elemental energies it had cloaked itself in violently discharging in all directions. With nothing left to hold it back, the supercharged multi-hero multi-element tornado smashing into the monster bird with enough force to vaporize a very large mountain, slamming it into the ground hard enough to liquefy the earth and sending it skidding across the surface, leaving a lengthy and very wide trench in its wake as it was pushed deeper and deeper underground. This went on for several miles, until finally all the kinetic and elemental energy building up around it and the tip of the tornado reached critical mass, exploding in a tremendous multi-megaton blast that rose up in a very pretty mushroom cloud that shimmered with all the colors of the rainbow. "Oooooooh," everyone said, impressed. Todd took a picture, naturally.

The great tornado dissipated, revealing the winded (no pun intended) figures of Bow, Briney, Goldor, Silvia, Buck, Lugia, and Ash. "Phew! Zat went on a bit longer zan I expected," the Drifblim noble commented, wiping her brow.

"That was almost as difficult as it was when we tried the same thing on Shadow Lugia…er, beg your pardon," Silvia apologized to Lugia.

Lugia frowned. "You're not implying that thing is as strong as I was, are you?"

"N-no, of course not! Perish the thought!" the Claydol said anxiously.

"Lugia, play nice," Ash scolded.

"Oh, don't be like that lad, I'd be peeved off too if someone implied that something like that was stronger than ol' Briney!" Briney bragged.

"It _is_ stronger than ol' Briney," Goldor sneered.

Briney gave him a cold look. "I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that."

"So, I suppose it's too much to hope that we killed it, right?" Buck asked as the smoke started to fade.

"Oh yeah, definitely," Ash said.

"I can already sense it stirring…it's _angry_…" Bow said in concern.

"Zen it is a good zing zat you 'ave all of us 'ere to 'elp out!" Fantina said cheerfully as a portal opened and she and the rest of their friends flew through.

"It certainly is, at zat!" Bow said, perking up.

"Daddy, are you okay?" Tiny asked in concern as he floated over.

"Yes, you were in that vortex for quite a long time," Lily agreed.

"Bah, don't crowd the boy! Can't you see for yourself he's perfectly all right?" Briney said brashly to cover up how much he, too, had worried for Ash's safety.

"There's no need to worry. Briney's right, I'm fine. Lugia kept me safe," Ash assured them. "I'm not even dizzy! Much." His face turned green. "Hold that thought." He poked his head over Lugia's side and threw up. "Much better."

"Thank you for not getting any of that on me," Lugia said.

"No problem. Least I could do," Ash said.

"Everyone, prepare yourselves! I can sense it preparing to attack!" Palmer warned.

"Why don't we just attack it first?" Butler suggested.

That's when the enormous blast crater that had been made by the aforementioned rainbow-hued explosion exploded…again…but this time it was in a dome of Shadow Aura that rapidly expanded outwards, sweeping towards the heroes. "That's why," Cherry said, looking vaguely annoyed rather than actually worried.

"Brace yourselves!" Bob cried.

"Or better yet, let those who can make shields brace for us!" Todd said in relief as all the mages in the group, along with anyone who knew a Barrier or Safeguard or Protect or similar technique, quickly enveloped the heroes in a spherical force field to protect them from the rush of oncoming Shadow Aura. Even with all their powers combined, it might not have been enough if Lugia hadn't been there as well; using his formidable Psychic powers to augment their shields. As a result, when the Shadow Aura finally burst to reveal the furious form of Maelstrom, they were all only slightly winded from the power drain necessary to protect everyone rather than completely exhausted.

"Huh, thinks he's so impressive, putting on a big show like that," Briney snorted derisively. "Let's show it just what we think of it and its ugly face!"

"Faces," Tiny said.

"What?" Briney said.

"Faces. It's got one head but three faces. Which is really creepy," Tiny said with a shudder, hiding behind Ash.

Briney rolled his eye. "Whatever! I don't care how many faces it has, I'm going to punch 'em all out! I've punched every evil god I've come across so far, and I don't want to miss out on the chance to punch this one, too!"

"You may get that chance very soon," Lugia said as Maelstrom spread its wings, powering up. The evil bird shrieked and fired tremendous beams made of fire, ice, and lightning from its extremities, while Flamethrowers, Ice Beams, and Thunderbolts shot out of its eyes.

"It can shoot fire and lightning from its eyes? That's so cool!" Zippo gushed.

"What, the fact that it can shoot Ice isn't too?" Rose asked.

"Hmm, good point, I don't think I've ever seen a Pokémon that can shoot Ice Beams from its eyes," Zippo admitted.

"And we won't ever again, if I have anything to say about it! Zippo, focus! You know what we have to do!" Sparky said.

Zippo made a face. "Right, right. Damage sink duty it is." He grabbed the startled Rose and planted a full-blown kiss on her beak before rushing off on his lava surfboard. "Wish me luck, babe!"

"O-ohhhhh…" the Taillow said, dazed.

"'as Leo ever kissed you like zat?" Bow asked.

"Oh yes, many times, though not in public," Lily said with a blush. "It seems…improper somehow…"

Bow shook her head pityingly. "We _really_ need to take you to ze Temple when we get 'ome." Lily gulped at this.

Sparky, Zippo, and Bob shot towards Maelstrom, armor (those of them who had armor, anyway) glowing as they called upon the powers of their Plates. (Again, those who had any.) Gritting their teeth in determination, they called upon their energy absorption abilities, causing the blasts of fire and lightning to curve through the air towards them and away from their friends, slamming into them with tremendous force. They cried out in pain as the malefic energy surged through their bodies…but they did not falter in the slightest, refusing to let even an iota of the wicked power get anywhere near their friends. As a result, all that was left were the ice blasts, which were still rather formidable-looking, but far easier to deal with. Combining their powers, the group's Psychics grabbed onto the ice bursts shooting from Maelstrom's wings and guided them donwards and away from the heroes, smashing them into the ground and causing the terrain for miles around to be frozen into an icy wasteland. The beams from its eyes Lily dealt with, opening a portal in their path, the other end exiting in front of a battleship, which got struck by the beams, instantly freezing it solid. The frozen mass dropped from the air and smashed into the ground with an ear-shattering crash, the brittle wastes ripping apart in icy shards from the force of the impact.

Maelstrom squawked in annoyance and pulled back to attack again, glaring angrily at Sparky, Bob, and Zippo, who were panting and struggling to regain their strength now that it was no longer shooting its power into them. The beast narrowed its many eyes, correctly perceiving them to be a threat, one that would keep it from utilizing its full power if something weren't done to remove them from the playing field permanently. The monster grinned (Sort of…kind of hard to tell with the freakish beak structure it has), fully intending to rectify the problem as violently as necessary. It swooped towards the exhausted trio, each of its talons opening wide to snatch them up.

Fortunately, there were more than just those three around, and they had powerful friends ready and willing to do whatever was necessary to protect them. Before Maelstrom could reach the warriors, three of Lily's portals opened up and swallowed them whole, depositing them safely amidst their allies, who quickly tended to their tiredness while others lunged forwards to meet the monster in battle. Snarling angrily at its missed opportunity, Maelstrom opened its beak and roared, expelling a huge blast of Shadow Aura towards the heroes. "I've got this!" Ash said as he leaped off of Lugia's back, staff glowing as he fed power into it.

"Me too!" Ritchie said as he jumped off of Tiny, whom he had still been riding on top of, even though he wasn't quite as comfortable or impressive as Lugia.

The two Lucarios arced through the air and swung their staffs down in unison at the blast of Shadow Aura, purifying it and sending it flying back to Maelstrom as a projectile of positive Aura, the blue and white energies colliding with the twisted monster and exploding, sending the monster flying back into a battleship, which also exploded. It thrashed about angrily as it tried to tear itself from the smoldering wreckage, only to be struck simultaneously by a multitude of attacks from pretty much everyone except for Bob, Sparky, and Zippo: Bow used her super Ominous Wind/wind spirit dragon combo, Butler threw Shadow Punches, Diane hurled a Psyshock, Fantina fired powerful spells, the Pupitars used Hidden Power, Cherry used Future Sight, Bitey zapped a Night Shade, Rebecca unleashed the wrath of her spirits, Salty threw a Hydro Cannon, Dean vomited darkness, Happy replicated herself and emitted a Bug Buzz, Rose generated a powerful cyclone, Lily launched a volley of Shadow Balls, Hyper Beams were fired by Briney, the Goldorringtons, and Palmer, Ash and Ritchie flung Aura Spheres, Lugia spat out an Aeroblast, and Todd gave moral support and took pictures from the back line. The resulting explosion from the combined blast was tremendous, and sent Maelstrom flying through several battleships, flinging them about and smashing them into each other and causing vessels to crash out of the sky in spectacular fashion.

"Yeah! We're doing it!" Todd cheered ecstatically as he took shot after shot. "There's no way that thing can stand up to our teamwork!"

"'Our?' You aren't doing anything," Sparky, who was recuperating nearby, said acidally.

"Yeah, you're just floating there taking pictures!" Zippo said.

"No, I'm protecting you, and providing moral support!" Todd said smugly.

"We don't need protection," Bob said. "If anything, we're protecting you!"

"Just keep telling yourself that," Todd said patronizingly, patting Bob on the head. The Manectric bit him. "AUUUUGGGHHH!"

"This is going pretty well so far," Ash commented.

Lugia nodded in agreement. "Yes, it seems some of my earlier worries may have been for naught. Yes, this beast is imposing and powerful…but with so many capable opponents rallied against it, how can it hope to do anything but fail?"

"Yeah, we can take anything it can throw at us!" Tiny cheered, emboldened by their latest victory.

Maelstrom must have heard the Pupitar, because it chose to test that. It shrieked and spread its wings dramatically, lightning arcing out from its body and dancing across the wrecks and floating battleships nearby. "What, it's trying lightning again? Didn't it learn from the last time?" Ritchie asked.

"Well, it was a bird-brain before, and now it's got three in one, I doubt it's gotten that much smarter as a result, especially considering _which_ minds it's made from," Ash said.

"Heh, true," Ritchie said. "Okay, Bob, Sparky, get back over here, we're going to need-"

"Wait," Lugia said, narrowing his eyes. "It's not attacking. It's doing something…else…"

"Something else? Like what?" Tiny asked.

"I do not know. But I doubt it bodes well…" Lugia rumbled.

He was correct. Much to their astonishment, as the lightning danced over the vessels, the wrecks littering the ground levitated into the air, and the ones that were already floating started turning about to face them. With a cackle of evil glee, it clapped its wings forward, and all the ships that had been caught in its electrical field surged towards the heroes all at once, hurled at them like gargantuan javelins. "Whoa," Zippo said in alarm. "I didn't know it could do that!"

"Looks like its taking revenge on us for all the times we threw battleships at its components…" Rose said anxiously.

"We did hit them with an awful lot of those, didn't we?" Happy commented.

"And yet there's still so many left…just how big is this fleet, anyway?" Dean asked, glancing around in bewilderment at the countless ships still loitering around.

"Electromagnetic manipulation…how fiendishly clever," Lugia murmured, grudgingly impressed. "Perhaps we were wrong to assume that just because its brain was made from three idiots that meant that it, too, was a fool..."

"Actually, it does, since it still seems to think that something like this will be enough to take us out!" Ash boasted.

"Ha, that's the spirit, lad! Come on, then, let's show him what we think of those toy boats of his!" Briney chortled.

"Airships," Tiny said.

"What?" said Briney.

"They're not actually boats. They're flying battleships, so that makes them airships, doesn't it?" Tiny said.

"Though a lot of them _do_ kinda look like boats…albeit, flying ones…" Cruise admitted.

Briney facepalmed. "Fine, toy airships. We aren't impressed with them!"

"We're not? Because I kinda am," Todd squeaked.

"Yeah, there are an awful lot of them…and they're really big…" Lily said nervously.

"Yes, but zere's an awful lot of us too, and even zough we aren't zat big, we're very strong!" Fantina said, eyes flashing.

"Quite right! Let's show 'im what we can do, too!" Bow agreed.

"All Psychics, or zose wiz Psychic abilities, to me!" Fantina cried. "Let us combine our mental power and send zose zings right back in its face!" She extended tendrils out to either side. Bow, Butler and Diane quickly clasped hands with her appendages, their eyes lighting up as well. Psychic power began to crackle around them. With a squeal of delight, Silvia herded her family over to the trio and bullied them into joining hands as well, although she was somewhat disappointed that she didn't get to touch Fantina herself. Briney reluctantly joined them as well, not too keen on combining his Psychic abilities with anyone else's; while he was perfectly fine poking around in other people's heads, he wasn't too comfortable with others doing it to him. He was well aware of the irony in that. Rebecca, Cherry, and Bitey were next to join the line, although Bitey had a bit of trouble what with not having any kind of appendage to grab onto anything. Lugia hovered behind them, eyes glowing as he added his incredible mental powers to their own and making the aura of Psychic energy glowing around them increase in volume considerably. Naturally, Todd took pictures.

"TOGETHER!" they shouted in unison, unleashing their full combined Psychic might at the fusillage of battleships being thrown at them. The flying vessels halted in midair several meters away, the stop so sudden that the more damaged ones crumbled to pieces from the force of their arrested motion. The group of Psychics growled, eyes glowing brilliantly, and with a great cry of effort flung the dozens of ships back at Maelstrom.

"Woohoo! That's the way to go!" Zippo cheered.

"Well, looks like it's going to have one more reason to hate battleships once we're done," Happy commented.

"Make that several dozen," Dean said.

Unfortunately, the beast was not so easily stopped. While the heroes had been gathering their power to stop its attack, Maelstrom had been charging up for an assault of its own, and with an ear-splitting shriek it spread its wings, Shadow Aura blasting out from it in a tremendous explosion like a dark supernova, black flames expanding outwards in every direction, engulfing and vaporizing the ships as the evil energy washed over them and rushed towards the heroes. While this impending darkness was rather alarming, nobody panicked (except for Todd, and maybe Tiny and Cruise and possibly Dean, though he would vehemently deny it later). After all, their Psychics were still linked together, and were able to use their combined power to create a shield strong enough to withstand the onslaught of Shadow Aura, the black fires washing over and past them as they continued to ravage everything within range. When the torrent of Shadow began to die down, they started to lower their shield with a relieved sigh, this second consecutive exertion of combined psychokinetic power in such a short period of time starting to take its toll…

And that's when Maelstrom shot out of the dissipating darkness like a missile, smashing through their weakened barrier and slamming into Lugia, knocking the others aside as it dug its talons into the god-bird, wrapped its wings around him in a deadly embrace, and sent both of them diving end-over-end towards the ground. Lugia howled in pain as the fire, electricity, and ice from the wings wrapped around his pale form burned and shocked and froze him, and the talons struck again and again, drawing blood. Maelstrom howled triumphantly, tripartite beak spreading as it drew back its mishappen head to swallow Lugia's whole. Unwilling to die so easily, Lugia's eyes flashed and fired Extrasensory beams into the atrocity's gaping mouth, ripping out through the back of the monster's skull and causing a small explosion in its maw as it reared back, screeching in pain and causing its grip on Lugia to weaken. With a blast of Psychic power, Lugia knocked Maelstrom away from him, panting as the wounds the monster had inflicted already started to heal themselves up. "Ash, now!"

Ash, who had been protected from being crushed by the embrace of the monstrous wings thanks to a small force-field bubble Lugia had managed to erect on his back at the last moment, unfolded himself from the fetal position he had been compressed into and launched himself into the air, raising his staff over his head as he charged it with Aura. Recognizing its destined slayer despite the pain it was in, Maelstrom started gathering Shadow Aura in its mouth, preparing to disintegrate the Lucario.

It did not get the chance, however, because Tiny and Cruise slammed into its back with an Aura-charged ram, the sudden collision breaking the monster's concentration and causing its attack to misfire, exploding in its face and breaking off a sizable chunk of its beak. As it hissed, blood and raw Shadow spurting from the hole in its face, Ritchie landed on the back of Maelstrom's neck and drove his staff into the monster's cranium, releasing the Aura charge he had been building up directly into the beast's brain. At the exact same second, Ash landed on top of what was left of Maelstrom's beak and drove his staff between the eyes of the Zapdos face, releasing _his_ Aura charge. The tips of the two staffs made contact with each other as they simultaneously discharged their Aura, resulting in a tremendous azure explosion which completely destroyed the upper half of Maelstrom's head and flung both warriors away, blue flames trailing from their bodies. Lugia telekinetically caught Ash, while a swarm of Happy husks grabbed Ritchie and lowered him onto the very relieved Cruise.

"Wow! That was awesome, Daddy!" the Pupitar exulted.

"Dude, that was so hardcore!" Zippo agreed.

"Most impressive, Ash!" Lugia exulted as he lowered Ash onto his back, where he was promptly tackled by Tiny, nearly knocking him off.

"That was sooooo cool! Did that kill it, Daddy? Did it, did it, did it?" Tiny asked excitedly as he pressed his spikes into Ash's side, causing him to wince.

"I don't think so," Lily said as she floated over. "I doubt it would end that easily…"

"I'm afraid Lily's right," Ash said as Maelstrom's nearly headless form tumbled out of the sky and crashed to the ground below. "It's immortal, after all. It can't die so long as it still has those treasures inside of it!"

"Which is why we need to get them out of it before it can regenerate!" Ritchie agreed.

"Leave that to us!" Briney said as he descended on Maelstrom's prone and broken form, accompanied by Goldor, Silvia, Buck, and Bow. "We'll crack that thing right open!"

"You may want to move back a bit, zough, zis may be a bit of a big bang!" Bow called up to the others as the five of them pressed themselves against the bony ribs forming the armor around Maelstrom's torso.

"Welp, I don't need to be told twice," Dean said, quickly flying away.

"This explosion is sure to be spectacular! I'd probably be better off observing from a safe distance," Todd agreed, following suit.

The others quickly put as much distance away from Maelstrom's body as they could, leaving the five members of the 'demolition team' behind. "Hmm, we'd better move fast…it doesn't look like we have much time before it recovers," Goldor said in alarm as he stared at the wreckage of Maelstrom's head, which was already starting to repair itself, blood and Shadow and liquid flesh oozing from the gaping wound that was most of its skull and shaping itself into new bones and muscles and teeth.

Buck shuddered in disgust. "That is _really_ creepy."

"It won't be for much longer!" Briney said, digging his claws into the ribs he was on top of. "All together, now! On three!" The others nodded and began to glow. Briney did as well as he built up his power. "One…two…"

"THREE!" they shouted as they exploded simultaneously in a quintuple blast which caused the monster's form to disappear in a tremendous pillar of light and fire, rising thousands of feet into the air.

"Ooooooh," everyone who was watching said.

"Eh, it's nice but not nearly as pretty as the last giant multi-hero explosion," Todd complained as he critically examined the picture he had just taken.

As the smoke and flames from the blast faded, the heroes drifted downwards to find…

That Maelstrom's armor was still intact. "What? That didn't do it? Lame!" Buck shouted angrily as he recovered from the Explosion and looked down angrily at the ribs, which had selfishly refused to break.

"Hmm, looks like someone's losing their touch," Salty commented.

"I dare you to come down here and say that to my face!" Briney growled.

"Wait, I think we actually did something," Goldor said, taking a second look at the ribs. While they were still intact, several of them had fine, hair-thin cracks running across their lengths, and the spaces between some of the more tightly-packed ribs had widened a little. "It looks like we weakened them a bit."

"A bit? Oh well, guess that means we need to explode a few more times," Briney said.

"Oh boy! I like exploding!" Buck said eagerly.

"I don't think that will be necessary. I believe at this point we could pull them off if we applied enough force," Lugia said, eyes glowing as he used his telekinetic powers to push down on Maelstrom, who had yet to recover but had almost fully regrown its head. "I'll keep it pinned down. The rest of you, pull as hard as you can!"

"No need to tell me twice," Butler said as he directed his phantom hands to one rib and started pulling with all his strength. Diane hovered beside him and used her telekinesis to pull back at another. Fantina extended numerous tendrils into the cracks, eyes glowing as she channeled arcane power down their lengths in an attempt to widen the cracks. Closing her eyes in concentration, Lily attempted the same feat, though it wasn't quite as impressive-looking. Briney and Salty grabbed hold of the same rib, bickering with each other over how one of them was doing it wrong. Sparky dug his sword in the crevice between two ribs and tried using it as a lever to push one of the bones out. Zippo, trying to show off for Rose, attempted to pull one out with his bare hands, blissfully unaware that she'd cast a strengthening spell on him so he didn't throw out his back. Lacking limbs, Tiny and Cruise rammed themselves into the bones repeatedly, trying to weaken their integrity further so the others could pull them off. The Goldorringtons wedged themselves into some of the larger crevices between ribs and started using Rapid Spin in an attempt to widen the cracks and knock the bones out. Rebecca tugged on a rib with her tentacles and the help of her spirits while Cherry contentedly watched Bitey attempt to eat another. Dean and Bob conjured a colony of bats which swarmed around one of the ribs and tried to either pull it out or devour it, it wasn't clear which. Happy shed off several simulacra and set them to work pulling on any of the ribs that weren't already being worked on by the others. Palmer did the same trick using his ninjutsu, though to the others it just looked as if he'd cast a cloning spell. Much like Sparky, Ash and Ritchie wedged their staffs into crevices and tried using them as levers to push the bones out. Todd took pictures from a distance and gave them meaningless cheers until an annoyed Lugia grabbed him and told him to help out, which he did very reluctantly. It took a lot of work, and more than once they wondered if maybe they shouldn't just back off and blast the damn things off, but finally their efforts bore fruit and one by one they managed to either pry the ribs open, or break them off entirely.

"Yay! We did it!" Cruise cheered until he saw all the exposed organs throbbing beneath them. He turned green and threw up, thankfully not inside the open cavity, which would have made it even grosser.

"Seriously, why is its body laid out like this? Even for a magical monster, it makes no sense!" Diane complained.

"Boss fight," Zippo said.

"You keep saying that, but it doesn't make any more sense!" she said in exasperation.

"Yeah, that tends to be the case with most of the things Zippo says," Salty snarked.

"Hey!" Zippo cried.

"Those are our targets," Ash said, pointing to the pulsating red and yellow hearts.

"I assumed as much, from how they were all big and glowy and stuff," Ritchie said.

Ash raised his staff. "You know what to do?"

Ritchie nodded as he glanced at his new weapon. "Pretty sure, yeah…um, and you're_ certain_ it won't explode, right?" he asked Fantina nervously.

"Assuming I made it accurately, it shouldn't," Fantina said.

"Ah. Good," Ritchie said, not looking entirely reassured.

"Don't worry, if it doesn't work there'll only be one heart left and we can try again. It should be easier the second time…well, unless the ribs regenerate or something." Ash frowned. "You don't think they'll do that, do you?"

"Considering our luck? Yes. Yes, they will," Ritchie said flatly. Abruptly, Maelstrom's body started shaking underneath him, and he nearly lost his footing. "Wh-whoa!"

"Hurry! The beast has regained strength and consciousness!" Lugia snarled, eyes blazing as he exerted more psychic power on keeping Maelstrom, who by now had completely regrown its head, pinned down. The monstrous bird shrieked and flailed about, waves of Shadow and elemental energy blasting out from it and causing everyone to flinch as they washed over them and tried to knock them back. "I cannot hold it down much longer…do what must be done before it is too late!"

"It won't be too late. You aren't doing zis alone!" Fantina said, eyes glowing.

"Yes, we're all here to help you!" Rebecca agreed, her eyes glowing as well. One by one, the Psychics clustered around Lugia, adding their power to his and exerting their will on Maelstrom, causing the monster's thrashing to cease as they pushed down harder on its body, restricting its movements. All it could do now was hiss and shake with uncontrolled fury…and terror, for it realized what was about to happen to it.

"So cool…" Zippo whispered.

"Boy, we can't keep this up for too long!" Briney shouted to Ash, who'd been watching in amazement. "Hurry up and get those treasures already!"

"Huh? Oh, right! Ritchie, come on!" Ash said.

The armored Lucario nodded. "Right, let's go!" He paused and looked down at the exposed innards stretching out before them in the monster's chest cavity. "Um, do we have to walk on this stuff, though? It's kind of gross."

"What are you complaining about? You're the one wearing armor!" Ash retorted.

"That's right, I am…and it lets me do stuff like THIS!" Ritchie quipped, leaping into the air and landing on top of the red heart.

Ash scowled. "Hey! Don't think you're the only one who can do that!" He bounded over to join Ritchie on top of the yellow heart, although his leap was slightly less impressive due to his legs not being enhanced by the Fist Plate's power and his nearly slipping and falling off the top of the slimy, shaking organ, which trembled harder once he was on top of it. Electricity arced off the heart and into Ash's body, causing him to gasp and grit his teeth in pain. "Nnngghhh…looks like it doesn't want us anywhere near it!"

"Yeah…too bad this feeble effort isn't going to be enough to stop us!" Ritchie said as flames from the red heart ineffectually washed over him. He raised his staff into the air. "You ready?"

Ash nodded, raising his staff above him as well. "At the same time, on three!"

"THREE!" they shouted in unison, driving the tips of their staffs into the organs they were perched atop of, piercing the monsters' hearts.

Maelstrom screamed in agony, blood and electricity and fire and Shadow spurting from the wounds the staffs had made in its hearts. Ash and Ritchie screamed too as the outpouring of elemental energy increased, washing over and through them and racing up the lengths of their staffs into the crystals at their peak. Static arced around Ash, his muscles spasming as electrical power surged up his staff and coalesced into a crackling yellow sphere similar to an Electro Ball in his crystal, while embers and flames roared around Ritchie as fire power blazed up his staff and formed into a miniature sun at the top. Ignoring the pain, ignoring the wails of the monster beneath them and the cries of alarm and worry from their friends and teammates, they focused on nothing else save for the divine power they were channeling, determined to drain every last drop from the creature's body so that it could never use it for evil again.

Finally, they managed to extract the last of the power, and with one last cry ripped their staffs out of Maelstrom's hearts, staggering back and nearly falling over as they struggled to recover from the immense undertaking they had just completed. Their adoptive sons quickly rushed over to steady them and help them out of the beast's chest as the red and yellow hearts flickered and dimmed, their glow fading. Maelstrom keened in dismay and frantically struggled even harder to break free from its captors, desperate to recover its treasures before it was too late.

As they strumbled off the body and onto the blasted and blackened ground, their concerned friends rushing to them to make sure they were okay, Ash and Ritchie reached up to the crystals on their staffs without thinking and removed the orbs of elemental power they had gathered, the energy crystallizing into clear yellow and red spheres with flickering shapes of light in their core. They looked down at the spheres for a moment, then glanced at each other and broke into a weak grin. "We…we did it…" Ash said.

"Yeah…that…that was intense…" Ritchie panted. "Not quite what I expected!"

"Still want to be the Chosen One?" Ash asked half-jokingly.

"Nah, I think I've got enough on my plate as is. You can keep the job," Ritchie said with a good-natured smirk.

"Wow…those things are amazing!" Todd said, snapping a picture.

"Remarkable…I can feel the power radiating off of those," Sparky said. "It feels similar to the Zap Plate, but…not quite on the same wavelength, somehow."

"Yeah. Say, you don't suppose I could hold that for a second?" Zippo asked, greedily reaching for the sphere in Ritchie's hands.

"No," the Lucario said sternly, lifting it out of the Charmeleon's reach.

Zippo scowled. "Oh well, worth a try…"

"So pretty…hard to believe they could come out of something so evil," Tiny commented.

"Lugia says they _were_ good once, something I still have trouble believing," Ash said.

"Yeah, I find that a little hard to swallow myself, considering…you know…" Dean said, nodding at the monster still being psychically pinned down nearby.

"Well, people change. Sometimes," Palmer said grimly, thinking of Paul and his rather shocking transformation into a cold-blooded monster. (As opposed to a cold-blooded ninja. There was a fine distinction.)

"So, now that we have all three treasures, what do we do with them?" Ritchie asked.

"Let's find out. Lugia?" Ash called.

Lugia glanced away from Maelstrom, reluctantly withdrawing some of his power from the Psychic press binding the evil bird so that he could levitate the red and yellow spheres out of the Lucarios' paws, and the blue sphere out of Ash's pack. Surrounded by a blue glow, the spheres revolved around each other in a series of complex patterns, leaving glowing after-images of themselves and causing sparks, embers, and snowflakes to be cast off whenever each sphere got too close to touching one of its siblings. Energy started arcing out of the spheres, dancing briefly into the air before falling back into the orbs. The arcs started growing higher and higher, until finally they intersected in a flash, a crackling, twisting sigil of light manifesting in the air between them as the spheres came to a halt, arranging themselves in a triangle surrounding the glyph. "I have undone the ancient safeguards that were placed on the treasures and all but severed their connection to the monster," Lugia said, his voice strained from the effort of having to both keep Maelstrom pinned down and break the bonds of the orbs. "Only one step remains before the divine energy can be purified and reincarnated in new hosts more worthy of their power: shatter the physical forms of the spheres so that their elemental forces can be reborn! Ash, throw the biggest Aura Sphere you can muster at the rune you see before you! As the Chosen One, your power will undo the final seal and allow us to rid the world of the birds' evil once and for all!"

Ash nodded. "Right!" He started charging his Aura Sphere…and hesitated. "Lugia…my brother Pikachu's sword was blessed by Zapdos. If I kill this monster, does that mean his sword will lose its power?"

Lily gasped in alarm. "Wait, was that a possibility?"

"Oh no!" Tiny cried.

"Lose his sword's power? That would be terrible…" Sparky murmured, thinking of his own Durendal.

"…Hmm. That might be the case…" Lugia admitted, much to Ash's horror. "However, you're forgetting that you have another god right here. Lightning might not be my element, but I can bless his blade all the same. It should remain as powerful as it is now, if not more so, though I am uncertain if lightning will still be its sole element."

Ash frowned at this and tapped his badge. "You get that, Pikachu?"

"_I did,"_ the samurai replied. _"We knew going into this there was a chance this might happen."_

"And you're okay with that?" Ash asked.

"_Okay with permanently altering the properties of the sacred sword that has been in my family for generations? Not even remotely. But it's not like we really have any choice in the matter. And besides, I suppose a blessing from Lugia is better than one from a fallen god…even if he's not exactly an Electric-type,_" Pikachu said.

"…Thanks?" Lugia said dubiously.

"_Wait, you heard that? Oh crap…um, I meant no disrespect, great Lugia!"_ Pikachu panicked as Leo's laughter could be heard in the background.

"I'm sure you didn't," Lugia said deadpan. "Ash, do you suppose you could hurry this up? I don't think I can maintain this for much longer."

"_You_ can't maintain it for much longer? What about us?" the exhausted Goldor cried.

"Oh shut up and keep focused, or do you want it to get up and kill us?" Silvia snapped.

Ash nodded and started charging his sphere again, holding it over his head as it expanded to at least twice his size. "Right! Just give me a second…and…HAAAAAA!"

With a mighty cry, he hurled the Sphere at the glyph. It streaked through the air like a blue bolt and smashed into the sigil. Rather than exploding, the sigil seemed to _absorb_ the Sphere, turning a brilliant blue in the process. It pulsated, and the treasures turned blue as well. (Or bluer, in the case of the Ice sphere.) Light started radiating from the cores of the baubles…

And then, with the sound of breaking glass, the spheres shattered, three beams of red, blue, and yellow light streaking up to the heavens. The beams pierced the storm clouds overhead, causing a ripple of energy to spread out in all directions. The clouds rumbled and ceased their churning, the clashing elemental energies that had been driving them into a frenzy calming as balance was restored. Snow and fire stopped falling, and lightning stopped cracking down all over the place. The clouds did not part, but instead opened up to sprinkle rain onto the broken desert plains, a gentle shower in contrast to the violent downpour from before. The heroes looked up in wonder as the weather changed for the better, feeling reinvigorated as the cleansing rains washed over them, easing their aches and tiredness and filling them with new energy.

"Wow," Ash whispered, staring up at the result of his work.

"Way to go, Daddy!" Tiny cheered.

"This is…um…tres magnifique?" Lily asked, glancing at Fantina, who nodded.

"Haha! Now this is more like it!" Salty said, wiggling his tentacles happily.

"Eh…I think I'm already missing the falling fire," Zippo complained, wincing as steam rose off his armor due to the rain falling on it.

Rebecca sighed in relief. "The torment of the spirits has come to an end. Balance has been restored to the forces of nature."

"Lovely. When's _our_ torment going to end?" Goldor complained.

"Oh, _do_ shut up, dear," Silvia said in exasperation.

"The rain will wash away the negative energy that has been infused into the earth by all the fighting and Shadow power," Cherry commented, seeing into the future. "One day, a great forest shall grow here, a fertile oasis in this vast desert."

"Sounds lovely! Now we just have to live long enough to see it," Dean commented.

"Oh, we will, no need to worry about that," the oracle said calmly.

As the rain washed over it, Maelstrom shrieked in agony as it felt its power weaken significantly, the energy making up its wings diminishing and leaving three pairs of black feathered wings in its wake. It panicked as it noticed this, realizing that this meant what its component parts had always feared had finally come to pass…that the Chosen One had destroyed its immortality, as the prophecy had foretold, and now there was nothing left to stop him from coming over and killing it permanently.

No! It couldn't end like this! It had come too far, done too much, allowed too much to be done to _it!_ After all the sacrifices it had made and atrocities it had committed, after its countless millennia of life, after finally having what looked like an escape from this wretched destiny in its grasp, it couldn't possibly end _like this!_

Maelstrom screamed, and as it did so, all its terror and panic and _rage_ were transformed into power by the vile drug flowing through its veins, its Aura throbbing violently and exploding outwards in a great blast of Shadow, destroying the bonds that had imprisoned it and knocking the Psychics responsible away, clutching their heads in pain from the psychic backlash. Shrieking triumphantly, Maelstrom soared into the air, leaving a trail of Shadow in its wake. Ash ran over to Lugia in alarm. "Lugia! Are you all right?"

"Unnh…it's fine. Just a little headache," Lugia grunted, shaking his head in pain.

"Sure…_just_ a headache…I feel like my head's being caved in by a sledgehammer…" Goldor groaned.

"Eh, I've had worse hangovers," Briney said, not looking much the worse for wear.

"I guess it doesn't want to go down easy, does it?" Fantina asked with a wince as she used her magic to heal herself.

"Well, it kinda would've been anticlimactic if it did," Zippo commented.

"Anticlimaxes aren't always a bad thing, you know," Sparky said.

"Yeah, says you," Zippo snorted derisively. Sparky rolled his eyes.

"It's not as bad as it might seem," Lugia said, regaining his strength. "It's lost most of its power, as well as its immortality. Any damage we inflict on it can't be mended."

Bob stirred. "Then you mean…"

"That we can kill it? Or rather, that _Ash_ can?" Lugia grinned savagely. "Yes, that's _exactly_ what I mean."

"…_Excellent,_" Bob said as he and Dean exchanged equally savage grins.

"Then let's go up there and put an end to that monster once and for all," Lily said.

"Yeah! Let's get it, Daddy!" Tiny cheered.

"No, _let's_ get it, Daddy!" Cruise said, nudging Ritchie.

"Um, sure thing, kiddo," Ritchie said, glancing at Ash, who was glaring at him. "Just so long as we make sure to leave the final blow to the one and only Chosen One…"

"Oh fine, if we have to," Cruise huffed, rolling his eyes.

"Hmm, this'll be interesting," Cherry said.

"Good interesting or bad interesting?" Rebecca asked.

Cherry laughed. "There's a difference?"

"I don't suppose I can hang back to take pictures this time?" Todd asked anxiously.

Cherry rolled her eyes. "Oh, fine, it's not like you've been of much use doing anything else. I guess you might as well." Todd sighed in relief. "But I'm going to have Bitey keep an eye on you to make sure you don't run off. If you make a break for it, he's been instructed to eat you."

"I might do it anyway! I'm so very hungry," the Gastly said cheerfully, licking his lips.

Todd gulped. "Aw mon…why does my life suck so bad?"

"Do you really want the answer to that?" Cherry asked.

Todd sighed. "No, not really…"

Cherry nodded smugly. "That's what I thought."

"Come, Ash. Let's finish this," Lugia said, lowering himself to the ground so Ash could climb on. "It is time to fulfill your destiny. This part of it, anyway."

Ash nodded, looking upwards to Maelstrom, who was circling madly, Shadow blasting out from it in every direction. "Yeah…For the friends they killed in the past…for all the evil they've done since then…for Dusty Ditch, and for Vladimir…it's time to put the birds down for good." He hopped onto Lugia's back and raised his staff into the air as Lugia flapped his wings and began his ascent. "Everyone, with me! Let's end this!"

"YEAH!" everyone shouted as they rose up behind Ash, following the Chosen One into the final battle against the avian abomination.

Meanwhile, Pikachu, Leo, and Dawn finally found their way out onto the main deck of their battleship to observe/join in the fight between Outlaw and Robo-Groudon. "Ugh…why…did we have to…run so much?" Leo moaned as he dragged himself out of the access hatch and out into the rain. "So…many…corridors…couldn't they have installed…Pokémon transporters…to make it easier to get from place to place?"

"What, you don't have a Segway in that shell of yours?" Pikachu joked.

"Oh, I do, but it's got a flat and I haven't gotten around to fixing it yet," Leo said. Pikachu stared at him for a moment, waiting for the Squirtle to reveal that he had been joking. He didn't. Somehow, Pikachu was not surprised.

_Look out!_ Dawn cried…or clicked…quickly shoving them out of the way as a missile streaked past them and into the opening they'd just come out of, blowing it up.

"Whoops! Sorry!" George shouted from atop Outlaw's shoulder.

"_**I'm not!"**_ Outlaw snarled as she continued punching and clawing at Robo-Groudon, the mechanical dinosaur being shoved back by her blows and smashing into the side of a large turret, blowing it up and knocking the machine onto its belly. _**"Stay out of my way! This is a battle for robots, not organic lifeforms! Not that it's much of a battle, since this thing isn't even fighting back…ugh, how disappointing, I was expecting something more challenging than this!"**_

"She may have a point, it does look like she has things well in hand," Leo admitted. "And she looks awesome while doing it, too! Mon, I wish I had a giant robot…"

"Just because she has things under control doesn't mean we can't help out," Pikachu said. "You know where that thing's weak spots are, right?"

Leo nodded. "Yeah, and it should be a cinch for us to get to them while it's fighting Outlaw! Well, assuming we don't get stepped on in the process. Or blown up. Or-"

"I get the idea," Pikachu said tersely. "Let's go."

_Master, are you certain you wish to do this?_ Dawn asked. _Your sword has lost some of its strength…_

Pikachu glanced at Thunder Fang, which no longer crackled with the same intensity or energy it had once possessed. Its blue hue had also faded to a somewhat duller shade. He sighed, but shook his head in determination. "'No matter how strong the blade, no matter how much history and magic is instilled in it, a sword is just a sword. It is the one who wields the sword that truly matters, for it is his will and the strength of his heart which slices through the foes more cleanly than any weapon ever could,'" Pikachu recited. "Even if my sword has lost some of its power, that does not make it any less of a weapon of justice…or me, a warrior. I would still be a samurai of the Thunderblade line even if I were wielding nothing more than a stick or one of my little brother's foam bats that he often attacks me with while I'm asleep to try and test my reflexes."

_Did it work?_ Dawn asked.

"Of course not. Especially since Dad used to do the exact same thing to me when I was his age…except he used an actual sword rather than a foam bat," Pikachu said.

"…Duuuude. That just gave me shivers," Leo whispered in awe, trembling as he stared at the samurai. "You are such a badass."

Pikachu raised an eyebrow. "For being able to survive my little brother attacking me with a foam bat?"

"No! Well, yes, that too. Foam bats were the bane of my childhood, the other kids would always ambush me on the way home from school and whack me with them for some reason. But then I discovered video games, and I crushed them online for revenge!...and then they started hitting me with them even more, which is why I tended to stay inside all day," Leo said, causing Pikachu and Dawn to sweatdrop.

"…Right. Let's just go fight that thing, okay?" Pikachu asked slowly.

"Sure thing!" Leo said cheerfully. "Too bad that canister of Robot Dinosaur Repellant I ordered in the mail still hasn't gotten here, or else this would be a piece of cake!"

"…Robot Dinosaur Repellant?" Pikachu asked slowly.

"Yeah. After the tough time we had beating up the last Robo-Groudon, I figured we could stand to have something like that on hand if we ever ran into another one. But it still hasn't gotten here yet! Psh, and I even went the extra mile and requested express shipping, too!" Leo complained.

_What shipping address did you use?_ Dawn asked.

"The PO box Oak and Tracey have been using back in Treasure Town to pick up mail," Leo said. He frowned, a thought occurring to him. "You don't suppose…"

"That Tracey might have decided to keep it for himself?" Pikachu suggested.

Leo gasped. "What? That's horrible! I was going to say that it was stolen by mail thieves or the town's corrupt postal service, but that makes way more sense!" He groaned. "That probably explains why the wizard costume I ordered never showed up, either."

"…Wizard outfit?" Pikachu asked slowly.

"Sure, so Lily and I would match!" Leo said.

"Ah. Yes. Of course," Pikachu said vaguely. "Let's…let's just go over there, okay?"

Leo nodded. "Okay. Still, it's too bad I also don't have the-"

"I DON'T WANT TO KNOW!" Pikachu shouted.

"All right, fine! Gosh, you're so uptight all the time. It's bad for your blood pressure, you know?" Leo asked. Pikachu ground his teeth, a vein throbbing on his forehead. Dawn shook her head.

While they argued, Zhu Bajie was sweating anxiously in the Robo-Groudon's cockpit, and not just because he'd turned off the air conditioner by accident and had no idea how to start it up again, either. The Decepticon outside was giving his robot a rather one-sided beating, mainly because he had absolutely no idea how to pilot the thing, and if he didn't figure out something soon to turn this around he would have to get outside and fight it himself. (Which would be another problem, since he had no idea how to get out of the cockpit.) He frantically flipped through the pages of '"Piloting the Robot-Groudon MK II for Imbeciles" for Imbeciles,' pushing one button after another (both on the control panel and on the book's pages) to try and get a favorable result. "Hmm…maybe…this one?" he said, pushing a promising button.

The Robo-Groudon's left hand flipped up on a hinge, revealing a cannon, which thrust out towards the alarmed Outlaw's face…and fired confetti into her mouth. _**"Gack! Plbt! Ugh, get it out, get it out!"**_ She hacked, trying to spit out the burning colored paper.

"Not that one," Zhu Bajie said. He pushed another button.

The Robo-Groudon's right claw split apart, revealing the barrel of another cannon. It pointed at Outlaw, glowed as it powered up, and fired...

Covering her front in garish pink paint. _**"You slagger! I just got my finish redone!" **_Outlaw howled furiously, flames erupting from her vents as she slashed the robot across the chest with her sword, knocking it back.

"Not that one," Zhu Bajie said. He pushed another button.

A large hatch opened between the Robo-Groudon's wings, and a pair of what looked like mortar launchers rose from its innards. They pivoted upwards, aimed, and fired…

Launching several dozen colorful balloons with cheerful messages written on them into the air. Outlaw and her passengers stared dumbfounded as they drifted downwards. One of them bumped into George's cockpit, allowing her to read what was written on its front. "'Will you be my friend?'"

"_**NO!"**_ Outlaw bellowed, hatches opening all over her body and firing lasers that popped all the balloons.

"That's not very nice," George said.

"Decepticons don't really have friends," Sam reminded her.

"Then what are we?" George asked.

"Pets," Sam and Outlaw said at the same time. George scowled.

"Not that one," Zhu Bajie said. He pushed another button.

The robot's eyes lit up with a high-pitched whine. Beams shot out of the optics…

And, rather than firing lasers, projected an image into the air. In spite of not actually being struck by the beams, Outlaw screamed in agony and clutched her eyes. _**"My optics! They burn! THEY BURRRRN!"**_

"Is…is that…" George asked slowly.

"A giant talking sunflower masturbating? Yes, it would appear so," Sam said.

"That's what I was afraid of," George said, looking green.

"_**The instant that thing's gone from sight, I'm going to delete that DISGUSTING image from my memory banks!"**_ Outlaw screamed. _**"You fleshlings and your repulsive methods of reproduction and self-pleasuring! Why can't you just build more of yourself in a factory like we do? It's so much less messy!"**_

George blinked. "What, Cybertronians don't have sex?"

"Oh, they do," Sam said. "Except since they're robots it pretty much consists of plugging a cable into a port on their partner's body."

George frowned. "Wow. That's…kinda dull."

"_**It is NOT dull!"**_ Outlaw shouted indignantly. _**"Just because there isn't much in the way of physical stimulation doesn't mean it's not a magnificent and beautiful experience! My processor interfaces with the processor of my partner, our programming merging and splicing to create new coding, our thoughts and desires dancing in cyberspace and reconfiguring into new fourth-dimensional constructs, new quantum algorithms coming into being that-"**_

"Okay, okay, it's an absolutely incredible experience and I'm doomed to never experience anything like it because I'm a pathetic organic, I get it," George said tersely.

"_**Good to see you're learning your place in the universe,"**_ Outlaw said condescendingly. George's eye twitched. _**"So, is it safe to look now?"**_

"Yes," George lied. Sam, who had been about to say the opposite, that the horrifying image was still clearly visible, gave her a confused look.

"_**Ah, that's a relief. I've already deleted it from my memory banks, so I'll never have to deal with it agaaaAAAUUUUGHHHH IT'S STILL THERE!"**_ Outlaw screamed as she lowered her claws from her optics only to see the offending projection was still right in front of her. _**"WHY WOULD YOU SAY IT'S GONE WHEN IT'S STILL THERE?"**_

"Oh, _I'm_ sorry, my inferior organic eyes must have gone blind briefly or missed it somehow," George said, voice dripping with insincerity. "Or maybe my pathetic organic ears misheard the question. Or my primitive organic brain misinterpreted it."

"_**Yes, that must explain it, because I **_**know**_** you wouldn't be stupid enough to lie to me on purpose, because that's a squishing offense,"**_ Outlaw said, covering her eyes again.

George tensed. "Um. Yes. Yes, that's exactly what happened. Hahaha. I'm such a stupid organic please don't kill me."

"_**Is the vision of horror gone?"**_ Outlaw asked, still covering her eyes.

"Yes," George said quickly.

"_**Is she lying, Sam?"**_ Outlaw asked.

"No, it's gone," Sam said.

"_**Good. Then let's just delete this from my memory banks too and call it even,"**_ Outlaw said, uncovering her optics and sighing in relief when she saw the air was clear. Then she started beating the crap out of Robo-Groudon again for doing something that sickening in the first place.

"Most _definitely_ not that one," Zhu Bajie said as the cockpit shook all around him. He pushed a button.

The Robo-Groudon's mouth opened. Outlaw hesitated in her beating, wondering what strange and preposterous—or possibly vulgar—thing was going to pop out of this bewildering robot next. Worried it was going to be another horrible hologram, she squeezed her optics shut and said, _**"I'm not particularly willing to see what ludicrous and repulsive thing is about to pop out at me. I'm delegating the task to you two; if something horrible appears, tell me to keep my optics closed, if it's something actually threatening, tell me and I'll deal with it!"**_

"What? Hey, why do _we_ have to let our minds be scarred?" George protested.

"_**Because I'm bigger than you and am generous enough to let you ride in me. And not kill you,"**_ Outlaw said.

"She has a point there," Sam said. George sighed wearily.

What came out of Robo-Groudon's mouth was indeed horrible and repulsive. It was also threatening, but not in the usual way. "AAAAAHHH! KILL IT! KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT!" George screamed in terror, frantically opening fire.

"_**What? What is it? Is it a missile launcher? A death ray? A drill? What, what?"**_ Outlaw asked, opening her eyes excitedly. She soon wished she hadn't. _**"Gah! I thought I told you to tell me to keep my optics closed if something like this showed up!"**_

"I was going to, but you opened them before I could tell you," Sam said.

The source of their discontent bobbed before them, juggled by the shots being frantically fired from George's gun; a giant mechanical cackling Chobin face in a jester's hat sprouting from Robo-Groudon's mouth at the end of a long spring, looking like nothing less than an incredibly ugly demonic jack-in-the-box. _**"Why…why would anyone **_**build**_** such an atrocity?"**_ Outlaw wondered, shocked. _**"Not even Shockwave, widely agreed to be the most amoral and unscrupulous scientist in Cybertronian history, would ever create something like this! Granted, that's because he is governed by pure logic and fanatical devotion to Lord Megatron like any good Decepticon should be, so it's less a question of practicality than ethics, but still! Ugh, only an organic could be capable of such…**_**obscenity!**_**"**_

"Isn't Doctor Tarantulas a cyborg?" Sam pointed out.

"_**Which means it's clearly the fault of his organic parts! If he'd remove those, I'm sure he'd be able to make something far less…heinous!"**_ Outlaw said in disgust.

"I thought you liked heinous," Sam said.

"_**Heinous violent and destructive, yes. Heinous vile and obscene? No! I have standards too!" **_Outlaw said in disgust.

"Then why didn't you react like this when Max used almost exactly the same idea for his anti-missile defense system?" Sam asked.

"_**Because giant Max jack-in-the-boxes are cute. In an ugly way. That's not cute at all,"**_ Outlaw said, pointing at the bobbing Chobin head.

"Hmm. No, I suppose it's not," Sam agreed.

"WHY WON'T IT DIE?" George screamed, pumping shot after shot into the head.

"_**Psh, typical. You're doing it wrong!"**_ Outlaw said, grabbing the jack-in-the-Robo-Groudon by the spring and ripping it out of the robot's mouth. She flung it on the ground, stomped on it, clawed it, stabbed it with her sword, blasted it repeatedly, lubricated on it, then threw it into the air and fired dozens of missiles at it, causing a spectacular explosion. _**"There. It's dead. Rejoice!"**_

"Oh, thankyouthankyouthankyou_thankyou!_" George gushed gratefully.

"_**Don't mention it. Actually, on second thought. Mention it. A lot,"**_ Outlaw said.

George frowned. "Aaaand now I'm feeling a lot less grateful." Outlaw pouted.

"Well, that was interesting, but not that one," Zhu Bajie said. He pushed a button.

Without warning, a metal dome lowered from the ceiling and covered his head completely. He thrashed about and screamed in agony as the dome shook and brilliant light shone from underneath it. After a few moments, the dome lowered back into the ceiling and a mechanical arm holding a mirror at its end descended in front of the Emboar. He stared for a minute at his reflection in disbelief. He was now sporting a blond Combeehive hairdo, red lipstick was plastered over his mouth, blush had been applied to his cheeks, blue eyeliner had been applied to the skin around his eyes, his eyelashes had been lengthened and straightened, pearl earrings were dangling from his ears, and his tusks and teeth had been polished to a gleaming white sheen. A tear rolled down his cheek, smudging his makeup. "I-I am so beautiful…"

Then his face twisted in rage, making his…decidedly unbeautiful features even more so. "But not that one! Or any of these ones! Raaaaaaggghhhh!" He held up '"Piloting the Robot-Groudon MK II for Imbeciles" for Imbeciles,' and looked at it in anger. "You are a useless book that is useless! You will be useless no more, however, for I have found a use for you, making you no longer useless because I have found a use for you!" Furious, he tore up the book, shredded what was left, ripped the shreds to pieces, and stuffed the scraps of paper in his mouth in a frenzy. Then, still incensed, he started wildly pushing buttons at random. "One of these must do _something!_ Something useful, that is, rather than useless, which all of the buttons I have pressed previously have been, although they might be useful in a situation other than the one I am in now, but I am not in a situation other than the one I am in now, I am in the situation I am in now, and none of the buttons I have pressed have done anything useful for the situation I am in now, though they might be useful for a situation other than the one I am in now, which I am not in!"

Suddenly, he noticed a very large red button in a glass case framed by yellow and black stripes with the words 'Do not press. Ever. This means you, Chobin!' written on it. Zhu Bajie pondered the meaning of this for a moment, before deciding that since he was not Chobin, it should be fine for him to press it. He tried to flip the glass case open, only to find that it was locked, and from the looks of it he would need at least two keys to unlock it. However, he had no idea where the keys were and no intention of looking for them, so he just punched the case, shattering it and slamming his fist into the forbidden button.

Klaxons blared and red lights started flashing around the cockpit as the robot started shaking. "Aha! I have done it!" Zhu Bajie declared triumphantly.

That's when Doctor Tarantulas's voice started playing over the speakers. "Chobin, if you are hearing zis—I'm assuming zis is Chobin zat I'm talking to, anyvay, because really, who _else_ vould be stupid enough to push a button zey are specifically told not to—"

Zhu Bajie blinked in surprise and looked around the cockpit in confusion. "Doctor Tarantulas? Or Spydor? Where are you? I do not see you anywhere." He started opening compartments to look for the Ariados. "Are you invisible? Or shrink yourself somehow?"

"Don't bozzer vondering if I'm invisible or shrank myself somehow, zis is just a recording, so don't bozzer trying to respond to it," Tarantulas's voice said.

"Oh, okay," Zhu Bajie said.

"Anyvay, if you are hearing zis, zat means you have pushed ze Robo-Groudon Mk II's self-destruct button, despite zere being a big label saying not to push it under any circumstances, especially if you are Chobin—who I am assuming zat you are, because who else vould be stupid enough to push button zey are specifically told not to?—and requiring two keys to even access ze button, vhich I keep on my own person and do not intend to give to anyone vhatsoever—especially you, Chobin, if you are Chobin, who I'm fairly sure you are," Tarantulas' voice continued. "And now, zanks to your stupidity, ze Robo-Groudon Mk II is going to explode viz enough force to destroy a major city. If you're vondering vhy I rigged ze Robo-Groudon Mk II viz such a ridiculously powerful self-destruct system or vhy I even installed a button to activate said self-destruct system if I never intended for anyone to use it ever-especially you, Chobin, if you are Chobin, who I'm fairly sure you are—I vas drunk at ze time and zought it vould be a good idea, okay? And besides, it's novere near as stupid as some of ze ideas you've come up viz from time to time, so I zink I'm entitled to a handful of my own now and zen!"

Zhu Bajie nodded. "That is reasonable."

"Anyvay, if ze knowledge zat you are about to violently explode troubles you, don't vorry, everyzing vill be fine in a few minutes," Tarantulas' voice said.

"Because I will be ferried to safety in an escape pod?" Zhu Bajie guessed.

"And not because you vill be ferried to safety in an escape pod," Tarantulas' voice said. "But because you vill be dead, and your soul vill be snapped back to me by zat tezzer zing Bellum made, and I'll clone you back to life. Zat's assuming you're Chobin, zat is. If you're _not_ Chobin, zen, vell, tough luck since I never installed an escape pod or even an ejection seat into ze Robo-Groudon Mk II—again, I vas drunk, okay? So, if you're not Chobin, zen zat means you're gonna die and go to ze Abyss earlier zan planned. Congratulations! Oh, and ven you get zere, tell Larry he stills owes me twenty Poké."

Zhu Bajie stared straight ahead for a long while as alarms blared all around him. "This is most inconvenient," he said finally.

Outlaw took a few wary steps back as the Robo-Groudon started shaking and flashing as sirens started blaring. _**"Oh, what now? Is it going to do a song-and-dance?"**_

"That might actually be fun to see," Sam commented. "I always enjoy the numbers the giant robots Max replaced Broadway with manage to put on."

"_**I don't. I find them demeaning,"**_ Outlaw grunted.

"Why? It's not like you're being made to wear a dress and dance on stage," Sam said.

"_**Robots shouldn't be dancing for the entertainment of organics! They should only dance for the entertainment of other robots! It's organics that should be dancing for robots, not the other way around,"**_ Outlaw complained. _**"Preferably from me shooting at their feet."**_

"Yeah, Max loves doing that to hobos," Sam said wistfully. He sighed. "I miss him…"

"_**Me too,"**_ Outlaw admitted reluctantly.

George did not miss Max, both because she found him a bit creepy—especially now that she knew a bit more about what he did for 'fun' back in his world—but also because she was a little more preoccupied with the Robo-Groudon's ominous trembling. "Knowing our luck, it's probably about to explode," she said resignedly.

"IT'S ABOUT TO EXPLODE!" Leo shouted.

"What?" Pikachu and Dawn cried in alarm.

"According to these readings, Robo-Groudon's self-destruct has been activated through an act of utter stupidity and thick-headedness, and now it's going to explode in a blast big enough to destroy a major city!" Leo exclaimed.

"What? That's terrible!" Pikachu gasped.

Leo nodded. "I know! That means we don't get to fight it and earn any EXP! It doesn't count as a victory if the bad guy does it to himself…I think. Depends on the system or rules being used." Pikachu facefaulted.

_Wait, why is the self-destruct so powerful?_ Dawn asked.

Leo blinked. "I don't follow."

_It's an explosive powerful enough to destroy a city installed in a robot about the size of a house. Isn't that a little…excessive?_ Dawn asked.

Leo stared at her blankly. "I don't think I understand the question."

She gave him an exasperated look. _Why did they put a bomb that strong in a robot this small? Isn't that overdoing it a little?_

"…It's a giant robot," Leo said, looking perplexed.

_Yes, and?_ Dawn pressed.

"And what?" Leo asked.

_What does being a giant robot have to do with it having such a ludicrously powerful self-destruct?_ She snapped, losing her temper.

He stared at her as if she had grown a second head. "Uh, only everything. Duh. I mean, what kind of giant robot _wouldn't_ have a ludicrously powerful self-destruct?" Dawn's eye twitched, as did her claws as she struggled to articulate a response to that but failed.

"This is terrible! We have to do something!" Pikachu said.

"Don't worry, my bomb-defuser doohickey should be able to deactivate the self-destruct mechanism!" Leo said, whipping out one of his myriad gadgets. "I just need to make a few adjustments, and we should be a-okay!"

Pikachu sighed in relief. "Oh, thank goodness."

"And once that's taken care of, we can finally have a proper boss fight! I can taste that sweet EXP already!" Leo said cheerfully as he tinkered with his contraption.

Pikachu and Dawn exchanged horrified looks. They shared a nod, and then Pikachu shoved Leo hard, causing his bomb-defuser to fly out of his hands. "Waahhh!" the Squirtle cried in surprise. "Dude, watch it!"

"Whoops, sorry, my bad," Pikachu said loudly. "Dawn, would you mind getting that?"

_Of course, Master,_ Dawn said, eyes twinkling with glee. She walked over to the device, suddenly tripped on…nothing, causing one of her large feet to slam down on the gizmo with a crunch, causing Leo to gasp. _Oh dear. How clumsy of me,_ she said, picking up the broken device.

"I-it's okay, I can fix-" Leo started.

Dawn opened her paws, causing the device to fall to the ground and crack again. _Whoops. How silly of me, clumsy butterfingers. I'll get that._

"N-no, don't, that's really not necessary-" Leo stammered.

_Oh no, I insist, allow me,_ Dawn said, bending down towards the device. Without warning she suddenly did a somersault, bringing both her feet down on the device and breaking it even more. Leo made a strangled noise, his face pale. _Whoops! Sorry, it's so slippery out here from all the rain. Don't worry, I'm sure it's all right…oh, wait, no it's not. Should it be in this many pieces?_ She asked as she stepped off the device and stared at all the pieces of electronics strewn across the floor.

"Oh well, guess we can't have that boss fight after all. Such a pity," Pikachu said, not sounding the least bit unhappy.

"…DUDE. Not cool!" Leo shouted angrily.

Pikachu shrugged. "Accidents happen."

"You and I both know that was no accident!" Leo said.

Pikachu raised an eyebrow. "Dawn, did that look like an accident to you?"

_Yes Master, it most certainly was an accident,_ Dawn said.

"Nobody's going to believe her, she'll say anything you tell her to!" Leo protested.

"Sam, George, Outlaw, did that look like an accident to you?" Pikachu called out.

"Did what look like an accident? I wasn't paying attention," Sam said.

"_**I was, but I don't really care,"**_ Outlaw said.

"I'm a little too busy worrying about the freaking robot that's about to explode to bother with something as silly as that!" George screamed anxiously.

Pikachu shrugged. "The consensus has it. It was an accident."

Leo's eye twitched. "…You _do_ realize that now that you broke my bomb-defuser, there's nothing to stop that robot from exploding and taking all of us with it, right?"

"I wouldn't be so sure. Outlaw?" Pikachu called.

"_**What is it now?"**_ the Decepticon asked in exasperation.

"That robot over there is about to explode. Do you think you could do something about it?" he asked.

"_**Why should I?"**_ she asked petulantly.

"Because if you don't, you'll die too?" Pikachu prompted.

"…_**Ugh, fine,"**_ she groaned, as if this were an incredibly onerous burden. _**"But I'm doing this because I want to, not because you asked me to!"**_ She stomped around to Robo-Groudon's back. Since the robot wasn't doing anything but twitching and glowing, it made no response as the Cybertronian warrior wrapped her claws around the tip of the mechanical dinosaur's tail and pivoted on one heel, grunting as she used the centrifugal force to lift Robo-Groudon off the ground by its rear appendage and begin spinning in place, whirling the enemy mecha around her like a windmill. She started spinning faster and faster, until the Robo-Groudon was nothing more than a flashing red blur. When she reached top speed, she flung the robot away as hard and as far as she could. It flew off into the distance, over and beyond the furthest edge of the Nihilator fleet, and kept on going until it was lost to view, not even a red speck remaining to show where it had gone.

"Nice throw," Sam said, shading his eyes and squinting to see if he could make out where the robot was. He couldn't.

"_**Of course it was. I won first place in Lobbing at the last Galactic Olympics on Athenia, after all!"**_ Outlaw said smugly. She frowned. _**"Too bad there probably won't be a next Galactic Olympics, since we blew up the planet…"**_

"Why did you do that?" asked a shocked George.

"_**The Autobots won more events than we did! What were we supposed to do?"**_ Outlaw said defensively.

"Accept your loss with dignity?" George suggested. Sam and Outlaw stared at her blankly for a moment before bursting into raucous laughter. George sighed. "Right, stupid question. Why'd I even bother saying that?"

Off in the distance, way out on the horizon, there was a blinding flash of light. A few moments later, a tremendous boom could be heard, followed by a powerful blast of wind that buffeted their bodies and nearly sent Leo flying off the side of the ship as the shockwave from the Robo-Groudon's explosion washed over them. "Well, looks like that takes care of that," Pikachu said in relief.

"Yeah…too bad we didn't get any EXP, though…" Leo said forlornly. "It would have made for an awesome battle…"

"_**Tell me about it!"**_ an equally forlorn Outlaw griped. _**"I was hoping for a fight worthy of Lord Megatron! Now I don't even have a trophy to show for my victory. What am I supposed to bring back to Cybertron as proof that I battled valiantly now?"**_

There was a high-pitched whistle that grew louder and louder until suddenly a great flaming projectile streaked through the sky from the direction of the distant explosion and smashed into one of the cannons nearby, causing it to explode and knock everyone over. After everyone picked themselves up from the blast, Leo extinguished the flames surrounding the wrecked cannon with his Water Gun, revealing the blackened and half-melted remnants of Robo-Groudon's head. Outlaw perked up. _**"Score!"**_ she said excitedly, lifting the head from the shattered cannon. _**"If anyone asks, I was only able to obtain this head after an epic struggle which cost me an arm and one of my eyes."**_

_But you have both your arms and both your eyes,_ Dawn pointed out.

"_**That's easily remedied,"**_ Outlaw said, putting the robot head back on the ground, then casually grabbing her left arm just above the elbow and ripping it off. As they gawked in horror, she tossed the severed limb away, reached up, and ripped out her right optic. _**"There! Much better!"**_

"Did…did she just…" a shocked Pikachu stammered.

_It would appear she did,_ Dawn said, stunned.

"That is both hardcore and extremely messed-up," Leo said.

"_**I'm a Decepticon. What do you expect?"**_ Outlaw said.

"Why…why would you do that?" asked the astonished George.

"_**My story of vanquishing a mighty beast will be more believable if I come back with battle scars," **_Outlaw said.

"But…but didn't that _hurt?_" George asked incredulously.

Outlaw snorted. _**"I'm a robot! Unlike you flimsy organics, I can turn off my pain receptors. I didn't feel a thing."**_

"Oh," George said.

"Hey, can I have your optic? It'd make a neat souvenir," Leo asked eagerly.

"Leo!" said a shocked Pikachu.

"What? It's not like she's using it!" Leo said defensively.

"_**Hmm…well, I suppose it'd be all right,"**_ Outlaw said after a moment's deliberation. _**"Hanging out with Sam and Max all the time, I can understand the compulsive need to collect all sorts of doodads and memorabilia that may or may not come in handy at a later date. Knock yourself out, meatbag."**_

She tossed the eye to Leo. The Squirtle was nearly bowled over trying to catch it. It was half again as big as his head, a big red vaguely spherical crystal with some severed cables sticking out of the back and intricate circuit patterns engraved in layers within it. "Sweet!" Leo said excitedly. "I have no idea what I'm going to do with this, but I'm sure I'll think of something!"

"That's the spirit! You're thinking like a true adventurer!" Sam said.

Leo squealed in delight, and Pikachu facepalmed. "Please don't encourage him…" the samurai groaned.

"Why not?" Sam asked, looking utterly perplexed.

_Because he's already almost insufferable as is_, Dawn said.

"Hey!" Leo said.

Sam shrugged. "So's Max, yet I haven't killed him. Yet. Fantasized about it a few times, even took out my gun and pointed it to his head oh…maybe once or twice a day, but I haven't killed him." Everyone stared at him. "What?"

"…ANYWAY," Pikachu said loudly. "Now that that's taken care of-"

"We've got incoming!" Leo shouted in alarm, pointing at another flaming projectile streaking towards them.

"Oh, what is it now?" Pikachu said in exasperation.

"_**Ooh, maybe it's another trophy!"**_ Outlaw said eagerly.

"If it is, are you going to tear your other arm off?" George asked half-jokingly.

"_**Of course not, if I did, how would I be able to carry everything home?"**_ Outlaw asked. George sighed but said nothing.

They quickly got out of the way as the projectile smashed into another cannon, triggering another explosion. Fortunately, they had gotten out of the way in time, so weren't knocked over by the blast. "So, what do you suppose it is this time?" Pikachu asked as they cautiously approached the flaming wreckage.

"Maybe it's a black box with schematics and data I can use to construct my own Robo-Groudon!" Leo said hopefully. "Without all the weird and silly stuff this one had installed. Seriously, what was the Doc thinking, putting all that crap in it?"

"Actually, I kind of thought any robot you built would have just as many strange attachments. You know, in case of emergencies," Pikachu said.

"Well, yeah, I guess it would," Leo admitted. "But mine wouldn't be as garish or ugly! And I certainly wouldn't include any recordings of myself masturbating."

_Thank goodness for that,_ Dawn said.

"_**Well, **_**I**_** hope it's an arm,"**_ Outlaw said. _**"If it is, I can graft it onto my stump rather than get a replacement, not only as proof of my combat prowess but also to make me look fiercer!"**_

"Ooh, that's so cool! That's a great idea!" Leo said.

"_**I know, right?"**_ Outlaw said giddily.

Unfortunately, when Leo extinguished the flames with his Water Gun, they didn't find a black box, or an arm, but something completely unexpected. "Is that…a Pokémon?" George wondered, staring at the very large lump that had been charred so black it looked like a big piece of coal rather than something that was once alive.

"I guess that must've been the pilot," Pikachu said.

"Wow! Amazing that his body wasn't completely destroyed in the blast, huh?" Leo said.

_Whoever he was, he must have been very resilient,_ Dawn said. _Not resilient enough, it would seem._

She was proven wrong when the lump shuddered and stood up with a gasp, a pair of bloodshot red eyes snapping open as flames ignited around its neck and shoulders. "I…_LIIIIIIIIIIVE!"_

"AHHHH! ZOMBIE!" Leo screamed.

"I am not a zombie!" the blackened hulking mass rasped. "I am Zhu Bajie, mightiest of all the Nihilators! If I were a zombie, my name would be Zhombuie Bajie, and I would still be mightiest of all the Nihilators! But I am not a zombie, because I am alive, because I am the mightiest of all the Nihilators, so I am still Zhu Bajie, mightiest of all the Nihilators, and so am not a zombie!"

"Um…right," Leo said, sweatdropping.

"Well. He certainly has an interesting way of speaking," Sam said.

"That's…one word for it," George said with a grimace.

"Oh well, at least it's not nearly as sanity-taxing as everything that comes out of Chobin's mouth. When he's not deluded into thinking he's a supervillain named Arackaiser, that is," Leo said.

"How on Earth did you manage to survive that explosion? Let alone being flung all the way here from wherever the robot blew up and smashed into a cannon, engulfing you in a second explosion, which, although smaller than the last one, should have been no less fatal!" Pikachu said incredulously.

"I am Zhu Bajie, mightiest of all the Nihilators!" Zhu Bajie declared.

"Yes, we know that. How did you survive the explosion?" Pikachu asked again.

Zhu Bajie gave him a perplexed look. "…I am Zhu Bajie, mightiest of all the Nihilators," he repeated slowly, as if to a child

"We know," Pikachu said, getting annoyed. "What does that have to do with anything?"

_I think he is saying that because he is the mightiest Nihilator, he was strong enough to survive the explosion,_ Dawn said.

"Oh," Pikachu said.

"That is correct! Because I am Zhu Bajie, mightiest of all the Nihilators!" Zhu Bajie repeated for like the umpteenth time.

"Okay, we get it already, you don't need to keep saying that," Sam said in annoyance.

"I, Zhu Bajie, mightiest of all the Nihilators will say it as many times as I, Zhu Bajie, mightiest of all the Nihilators wants to! Because I am Zhu Bajie-" The Emboar paused as Sam aimed his cannon at him, the barrel whirring as it powered up. "…And that is all."

"So…I'm guessing you want to fight?" Pikachu asked, drawing his sword.

Zhu Bajie nodded fervently. "Yes! Lord Arackaiser dispatched me, Zhu Bajie, mightiest of all the Nihilators, to destroy his nemesis Turtle Titan!" He paused. "Er…one of you _is_ Turtle Titan, right?"

"Yeah, that'd be me," Leo said.

"Oh, good," Zhu Bajie said in relief. "I was afraid that I had missed the ship Turtle Titan was on while shooting through the sky like a flaming rocket that is flaming while shooting through the sky and landed on a ship that had another group of Pokémon that were not Turtle Titan because I missed the ship Turtle Titan was on while shooting through the sky like a flaming rocket that is flaming while shooting through the sky. What a relief to know that I am, indeed, on the ship Turtle Titan is on! Now I can destroy you—who is the Turtle Titan—and fulfill Lord Arackaiser's orders, and hopefully he will not be too displeased that I accidentally blew up the Robo-Groudon Mk II, though if he is displeased I can always blame it on you."

"Eh, works for me," Leo said.

"_**Yes, I like that version of events better,"**_ Outlaw agreed. _**"In fact, from now on, that is how I will choose to remember it, rather than what actually happened. I'm even fabricating false memories of the fight to overwrite the original ones as we speak!"**_

"Oooh, were we awesome in that fake fight?" Leo asked hopefully.

"_**No, you're standing on the sidelines cheering me on and lamenting how hopeless and miserable your puny lives are because you can't be an infinitely superior machine like myself,"**_ Outlaw said condescendingly.

"Awww, lame!" Leo said, crestfallen.

"Turtle Titan! Zapurai! Shinobunneary! Giant robot whose name I don't know and Pokémon riding in its shoulders whose names I also don't know! In the name of Lord Arackaiser, I, Zhu Bajie, mightiest of all the Nihilators, shall destroy you!" Zhu Bajie roared, stamping on the ground repeatedly and causing the flames around his neck to flare up, sparks flying from his feet and smoke wafting from his nostrils and ears.

"Yeah! Bring it!" Leo said eagerly, clenching his fists. "At last, a boss fight! Well, miniboss, anyway. It won't be as cool as fighting that giant robot would have been, but at least it's _something!_"

"I don't suppose our telling you those aren't actually our names would make you any less willing to fight us, would it?" Pikachu asked wearily.

"Your secret identities are of no concern to me! I shall destroy you regardless!" Zhu Bajie declared, still stamping the ground, heat building up around him.

Pikachu sighed and raised his sword. "Well, it was worth a try."

"No it wasn't," Leo said.

"Shut up, Leo," Pikachu grumbled.

_His skin must be remarkably thick to have survived the explosion, being flung all the way here, and the subsequent crash,_ Dawn observed, narrowing her eyes. _Let us see if it is too thick for my claws as well._

They tensed, preparing to fight…

When abruptly Outlaw walked right up to Zhu Bajie and kicked him, the force behind her blow catching him in the gut and sending him flying far off into the distance, his squeals of surprise fading as he vanished in a twinkle. _**"There. Problem solved,"**_ the giant robot said, putting her hand on her hip triumphantly.

"Well, that's one way to end a fight," George admitted reluctantly.

"Nice distance," Sam commented. "But I don't think you launched him quite as far as you did the robot."

"_**Well, Lobbing was the event I got first place in at the Galactic Olympics, not Mecha-soccer," **_Outlaw grumbled.

"Mecha-soccer?" George asked.

"It's exactly like soccer, only with giant robots," Sam said. "And it's in outer space rather than on a soccer field. And the ball is actually a bomb and the objective is to get it into the other team's goal before it explodes. And asteroids and space monsters occasionally fly through the playing field. And if the game goes into overtime the spectators get to shoot at their least favorite players to motivate them to do better. Naturally, Max loves it and changed the rules for soccer back on our world to be more like Mecha-soccer."

George sweatdropped. "Why am I not surprised?"

"Huh. Guess that's the end of that," Pikachu said, sheathing his sword.

_I suppose so,_ Dawn said, relaxing her stance. _It's probably for the best; I doubt he would have put up much of a fight anyway. He was just a mid-boss._

"You…you got rid of him just like that?" Leo cried incredulously. "Dude! What the Abyss? Kill-stealing is _not_ cool!"

"_**If I don't get an epic battle, then nobody does,"**_ Outlaw said bluntly.

"That's really petty," Pikachu said.

"_**I'm a Decepticon,"**_ she said, as if that explained everything, which it did.

"This is so unfair," Leo whined, sagging in his shell. "Everyone else is getting to have a super-cool over-the-top battle today but us!"

_Some people might be thankful they got to stay out of danger,_ Dawn said.

"Well, some people aren't me," Leo said stubbornly.

Pikachu sighed in exasperation. "Leo, you piloted a magical flying train car-"

"It wasn't flying," Leo said.

"Huh?" Pikachu said.

"Planes fly. The ship we're on right now can fly. Trains can't. We were in a train, ergo, we weren't flying."

"…But…we were several thousand feet in the air, maneuvering through a storm of missiles and other projectiles" Pikachu said slowly. "Isn't that flying?"

"It would be if we had been moving about freely," Leo said.

_Weren't we?_ Dawn asked.

"No, we were on rails," Leo said. "If we hadn't been on rails, we'd have been flying. Since we _were_ on rails, ergo, we were running, not flying."

"But…they're magic rails that appear wherever we want to go," Pikachu said.

"Yes, which means the _rails_ are flying, not the train," Leo said. "If we turned off the rails, we'd plummet to our deaths. We can control the rails and use them to set a path, and the car runs down that path. And therefore it's not flying, since if it _were_ flying it could do so freely, without needing the rails to guide and support it."

Pikachu opened and closed his mouth a few times, struggling to say something in response to that very long and unnecessary lecture. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, counted to ten, then counted to twenty, opened his eyes and started again. "Leo, you piloted a magical train car through a storm of missiles and other projectiles, crashed into the bridge of this battleship, _took_ _over_ this battleship and a handful of others to use against the Nihilators, and almost managed to shut down the Arachnoblast. Granted, you also managed to drive Chobin even more insane than usual and caused him to turn into your archnemesis from a video game, leading him to regain control of the Arachnoblast and fuse the three legendary birds together-"

"Dude, for the last time, that totally wasn't my fault!" Leo said testily.

"And that's not to mention yesterday, where you fought against an army of ice monsters from another dimension and blew up a frost giant! A _frost giant,_ Leo!" Pikachu ranted. "Isn't that _enough_ action?"

"Well, when you put it that way, I guess I have done a lot of awesome stuff recently, haven't I?" Leo admitted.

"Yes. Yes, you have!" Pikachu said.

"I suppose when you put it that way, it was kind of selfish for me to want a really cool boss fight…even if it means I probably won't get another chance to have one for a while, since it's unlikely I'm going to get a one-on-one with Arackaiser today, considering what our plan for dealing with the Arachnoblast is," Leo said. "It's just…I dunno, I've kind of been feeling a little overshadowed lately."

"You have? Really?" Pikachu asked in surprise.

"Well, yeah! I mean, just look at me!" Leo said. "Ash is the frigging Chosen One and is right now flying a literal _god_ into a battle with a horrific three-headed bird demon. You're a badass samurai warrior with a legendary sword and an equally badass ninja with a Dark and Troubled Past for a ladyfriend. Lily's a super-cute sorceress with an even more Dark and Troubled Past and all sorts of incredible untapped magic potential. Tiny's an Aura-using Pokémon from a species not usually renowned for Aura skills whose biological dad is a supervillain and could drink an evil undead pirate under the table. Sasha's the High Priestess of the _god of death._ And Briney? He's Briney. 'Nuff said." Pikachu and Dawn nodded in agreement at this. "But me? I'm just…some pudgy Squirtle geek from a backwater town that until recently was being controlled by an apparently evil dragon that was really just trying to protect her kids. I mean, sure, I'm probably the smartest member of our little party-"

_That's debatable,_ Dawn clicked. Pikachu shushed her.

"And I've got not one but _two_ pure evil bad guys who want me dead, and the awesomest pair of sunglasses in the frigging Omniverse, but…that still doesn't change the fact that I'm a nerd and by far the weakest physically of the team. I got my tail handed to me yesterday when I tried fighting the ice monsters hand-to-hand, and was only able to survive by using my trademark gadgetry and improvisation. Without all my gear, though, I'm nothing. Just another super-nerd who's watched too much anime and clocked in way too many hours on pretty much every RPG imaginable. But you guys? Even without your stuff, you're _still_ utterly rad heroes," Leo said morosely. "How can I match up to that?"

Pikachu considered this for a moment. "Leo, do you remember what I said earlier?"

"You said a lot of things earlier, be more specific," Leo said.

"Don't get cute with me. I said, 'No matter how strong the blade, no matter how much history and magic is instilled in it, a sword is just a sword. It is the one who wields the sword that truly matters, for it is his will and the strength of his heart which slices through the foes more cleanly than any weapon ever could.' Remember?" Pikachu said.

"Yes, and while that's a totally zen piece of wisdom, I'm not quite sure how it applies to me, seeing as I _have no sword_," Leo said pointedly.

"The point is that it's the warrior's heart that makes him a hero, not his weapons," Pikachu said. "You say without your gear, all your tech and gadgets and contraptions, you're nothing. That's not true. Leo, I seem to remember you wading into lots of battles right alongside us and handling yourself pretty well even without your gizmos."

"That doesn't change the fact that I'm probably the weakest of us in combat. Next to Tiny. Who's not gonna be tiny anymore once he evolves," Leo lamented.

"So what?" Pikachu asked. "I would have thought you of all Pokémon would know being a hero is about more than being a good fighter. How many times have you saved us just by being yourself…Leo, the inexplicably bizarre yet undeniably, well, brilliant Squirtle whose countless hours playing video games and watching far too much television for your own good have somehow translated into skills that, in some way I don't understand and don't really care to, have actually come in handy far more often than I would have expected. I mean, we wouldn't have even landed on this ship all right if you hadn't become a master at !"

"Mushihimesama," Leo corrected.

"Right, at something I can't even pronounce let alone comprehend," Pikachu said. "Could anyone else but you have done that, Leo? Could anyone else have helped us get as far on this journey as we have? Because—and it almost pains me to say it—the truth is that I don't know if we would have made it to this point if it weren't for you being, well, you. If you had been anyone else…if you hadn't been the trivia-obsessed, overprepared, utterly infuriating nerd that you are, I honestly think we'd have failed long ago."

Leo's eyes widened in astonishment. "R-really?"

"Yes! Well, okay, I might be exaggerating a little bit. I'm sure we'd have succeeded _somehow_. But it would have been a lot more difficult, and considering how difficult it was even with—and especially because—we had you on our side, I shudder to think of how we would have managed without you," Pikachu said.

_And I'd probably be dead, _Dawn said. _Since you wouldn't be there to defuse the bomb Tarantulas planted in me just in case you managed to purify me, remember?_

"Oh yeah, I did do that, didn't I?" Leo recalled. "And I also disarmed the one inside Lugia, too…and I bet Lily wouldn't have been able to adjust to being good nearly as well if I hadn't been there! Well, okay, maybe she would have, but she'd have probably fallen in love with Ash instead of yours truly, and considering how many chicks he's got himself attached to already, that would have made things rather complicated."

Pikachu couldn't help snickering at that thought. "Oh brother, would Ash have been in trouble when Misty got back…well, gets back, since she's still out in space somewhere." He frowned. "In spite of everything outrageous we've done so far, it's still so weird to say that with a straight face."

Leo nodded. "Heh, yeah. Spaaaaace. Anyway, I get what you're saying, and you're right. I _have_ been my best just being myself. But…" He sighed. "I still can't help feeling a little inferior to you guys since I'm still not a great fighter. And let's be honest, while my brains have saved our heinies a ton of times, how effective would they have been if I didn't carry around all this junk in my shell all the time to whip out in our hour of need? Or wear these mondo rad sunglasses that can pick up enemies' weaknesses and do all sorts of other cool stuff? If I didn't have any of that…how useful would I really be?"

"…That's a question only you can answer, Leo," Pikachu said apologetically. "Much like Ash is going to have to look into his own heart to get rid of his darkness, you're the only one who can say for sure whether, deep down…you have what it takes. I…kind of think you do, because otherwise you wouldn't have lasted as long as you have with us."

"…Heh! Maybe so," Leo admitted with a chortle, cheering up. "You really think so?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I do," Pikachu said.

"Huh. Then why are you always giving me so much grief all the time about the stuff I do if you think I'm fine the way I am?" Leo asked.

"Because, Leo, just like my little brother, I like you a lot but there are times when your behavior makes me want to kill you," Pikachu said plainly.

Leo's eyes bulged. "…Oooookay…"

"Don't take it too personally, I feel the same way towards Ash sometimes too. It's a natural part of being a brother. Or a friend. So don't get the wrong idea and think that I think of you as a brother or anything, because I don't," Pikachu said quickly. "I mean, we're close—I guess—but not _that_ close."

"That's all right, I don't think I'd want a guy who's sometimes tempted to kill me as a brother anyway," Leo said.

"…Gee, thanks," Pikachu said flatly.

"You're most welcome!" Leo said cheerfully. He spread his arms wide. "So, c'mon, gimme a hug, not-brother!"

"No," Pikachu said.

"Awww. Fine, you big meanie. Dawn! Wanna hug?" Leo asked, turning to the ninja.

_Try it and I'll stab you,_ she said plainly.

"Right. No hugs for you. Um…" Leo paused, then turned towards Outlaw, who looked extremely bored from having to listen to the sappy melodrama from that last few minutes.

"_**Do you want to be stepped on?"**_ she asked.

Leo actually thought about this for a moment. "No, I suppose not, though it would leave a neat impression on my shell."

"_**Hmmph. A pity. Are we done with all the happy fun-time afterschool special nonsense, then?"**_ the robot asked, voice dripping with contempt.

"Hmm. Yeah, I think we are. Are we?" Leo asked Pikachu and Dawn.

"Um…I guess so," Pikachu said uncertainly.

_I should hope so,_ Dawn said.

"_**Good! Because if that load of garbage had gone on for even a microcycle longer, I would have killed something. Probably you,"**_ Outlaw said. _**"In fact, I still might because I'm bored, unless something interesting happens in the near future."**_

"We're going to be attacking the Arachnoblast soon, with the full intent of destroying it," Leo said. "That good enough for you?"

Outlaw put a hand to her chin in thought. _**"Hmm…I guess so…"**_

"It certainly works for me," Sam said.

"Same here, so long as we don't actually have to climb back on that thing. It feels like we spent waaaay too much time doing that already," George said.

"_**Well, we need to go back there anyway to retrieve my trophy, so we might as well,"**_ Outlaw said. She glared at the trio of much smaller Pokémon. _**"All right, I won't kill you. Now. Maybe I'll do it later, if I change my mind, I haven't decided yet."**_

"K," Leo said.

"Should we be more worried about this than we are?" Pikachu muttered to Dawn. She shrugged.

"Well, if she _does_ decide to kill us later, that means we'll finally get a robot battle boss fight!" Leo said ecstatically.

Pikachu facepalmed. _You're _still_ hung up on that?_ Asked an exasperated Dawn. _I thought you realized by now you don't need to fight a 'boss battle' to prove your worth!_

"Oh yeah, I know that," Leo said. "I just want one because it'd be awesome." Dawn shook her head wearily, and Pikachu banged his head against a cannon in frustration.

Speaking of awesome robot battles, the Arachnoblast and the giant mechanoid scorpion employed by Judgment (Let's call it…the Scorponok. Has a nice ring to it.) were locked in mortal combat. (Not to be confused with Mortal Kombat, although, interestingly enough, there's a character there named Scorpion, who isn't actually a scorpion, which is rather confusing, but it's a fighting game, so that's to be expected.) Turrets had popped out of hatches all over the exteriors of both the arachnid automatons, and were blasting each other with blistering fusillades of artillery, weapons fire raking the thick hulls and shields of both fortresses while the mechanoids brought their more powerful weapons to bear on each other, the blasts from the smaller cannons doing nothing more than cosmetic damage, if that, to each machine's superstructure.

The Arachnoblast powered up its anti-gravity engines to stabilize itself and reared back on five of its legs, raising the remaining two (since one had been destroyed during the battle to purify Lugia) high into the air, joints folding to aim the barbed tips of each leg downwards as the limbs were thrust towards the Scorponok. Lightning-quick, the scorpion synthenoid quickly raised its claws, pincers snapping shut around the two legs, servomotors screeching as it struggled to hold them in place. As the Arachnoblast reared back, trying to wrench its limbs out of the Scorponok's grip, the white arachnid drew back its tail, stinger glowing as it powered up, then flung it forward, the barb on the tail's end shooting between the two frozen legs and piercing the Arachnoblast's hull, leaving a gaping rent in its surface as it ripped its stinger back out, blasts of flame and plasma gushing from the wound. "Hmm, not bad…but two can play at that game!" Arackaiser said, ignoring the shaking of the command center or the flashing alarms around him. "They aren't the only arachnid with pincers around here!"

The anti-gravity engines roared as more power flushed through them, and two more of the Arachnoblast's legs rose off the ground, swiveling forwards and around and catching the Scorponok's tail just behind the stinger, locking it in place. The Scorponok flailed about, trying to pull its tail out of the grip of the Arachnoblast, but the evil arachnid's legs were just as long and almost as flexible as the Scorponok's tail, and as strong as the white robot's pincers. The Arachnoblast lifted the legs that had caught the Scorponok's tail into the air, pulling it taut and causing the Scorponok's back half to start rising into the air. At the same time, it pulled back on the legs the Scorponok's pincers were still grasping tightly, causing the machine to groan as it was being tugged in two different directions, straining its hull integrity.

"Grrr! The dastards! They're going to rip us in two!" Silverbolt said angrily as the Scorponok's command center shook.

"We're still firing at them with everything we have, but it's not working!" Rhinox said anxiously as their weapons continued firing ineffectually at the Arachnoblast.

"Not _everything_…" Blackarachnia said, transmitting a series of commands into the Scorponok through her cybernetics. "Let's see how they like this!"

The Scorponok's stinger retracted and was replaced by a very large warhead with a drill at its tip. The missile launched off the end of the tail, the flames from its exhaust washing back over the extremity and burning the ends of the Arachnoblast's legs, causing them to withdraw from the Scorponok's tail due to the sudden rise in temperature compromising their integrity. As the Scorponok's back half crashed back to the ground, the missile slammed into the tear the scorpion's stinger had left in its side earlier, the drill tip spinning furiously as it widened the rent enough for the missile's warhead to fit inside, the resulting detonation blasting a huge hole in the side of the black spider as well as weakening the joints attaching the two legs the Scorponok was clutching in its pincers to the Arachnoblast's body. As the Arachnoblast reeled, the Scorponok grew a new stinger and flung its tail backwards, burying the barb in the ground like an anchor and pulling back as hard as it could, its many legs and treads shrieking and churning up sand as it shifted into full reverse. There was an even louder shriek from the Arachnoblast, the moan of metal tearing apart, as the weakened legs were abruptly ripped off the central body of the black spider, fuel and sparks gushing from the severed ends and igniting to create a pair of twin explosions, flames blasting out of the stumps remaining on the central sphere as the two detached limbs fell to the ground with an earth-shaking thud.

"Ouch. Zat looked painful…" Tarantulas cringed, pulling his own legs closer to him out of sympathy.

"How DARE they!" Arackaiser roared furiously. "They'll pay for this!"

Anti-gravity engines going up to full blast, the Arachnoblast lifted its five remaining legs off the ground and spun around, the appendages twitching as they came to face the Scorponok and looking somewhat like a giant floating disembodied hand. The 'hand' lunged forwards, 'fingers' spreading wide to snatch up the Scorponok. The scorpion's pincers snapped shut around the ends of two legs, and its tail managed to intercept and deflect a third, but the remaining two legs pierced the Scorponok's defenses, as well as its body, burying their barbed ends deep inside the scorpion's back. Electricity was channeled down the legs and into the Scorponok's body, causing explosions to wrack its interior as critical systems were overloaded. Smaller explosions broke out all over the Scorponok's skin as the Arachnoblast's weapons were able to score more piercing hits at such close range, and when the Scorponok's tail shot forwards to try and pierce the Arachnoblast's body and knock it off, the fifth leg quickly wrapped itself around it, pointing it away from the evil robot so its stinger couldn't be brought to Beartic and holding it in place while its remaining limbs did their dirty work.

And as if that weren't bad enough, the fiendish-looking apparatus in the Arachnoblast's underside began powering up, red light emanating from the clusters of antenna and barbs and spires surrounding the massive energy core, its luminance increasing as arcs of power crackled between the tips of the metal projections and danced across the surface of the core. "That doesn't look good," Blackarachnia murmured.

"Neither do the damage reports we're getting," Rhinox said anxiously as Judgment agents all around them frantically tried to manage the numerous alarms, error signals, deadly malfunctions, and damage suppression systems as the Arachnoblast's attack took its toll on the Scorponok. "If we don't do something quickly to remedy this, I don't think we'll live to see Light of Justice purify the Earth."

"And while I look forward to meeting Arceus with dignity, I did not think it would be so soon," Silverbolt lamented. "At least we will go together, beloved."

"Yes, except I have no intention of dying just yet," Blackarachnia said, narrowing her eyes. "Can't any of our tanks give us backup?"

Rhinox shook his head. "They're too busy engaging the Nihilator forces, and the ones in range aren't powerful enough to deal any significant damage to the Arachnoblast."

"So we're on our own, then? Fine, we'll make the best of it. Redirect weapons fire on that energy core!" Blackarachnia commanded.

"Yes, milady," the officers around her replied as they targeted the big crimson sphere and switched all their cannon fire over to it. Unfortunately, it had no effect.

"It's having no effect!" Silverbolt said anxiously.

"On the contrary, it's getting stronger," Rhinox said, analyzing the readings he was picking up. "The core is absorbing the energy our weapons are putting out and using it to continue charging its own attack."

"Is that so?" Blackarachnia stroked her mandibles in thought. "Hmm…increase power to weapons and keep firing."

Rhinox startled. "M-milady? But that will only make it build up power even faster!"

"Exactly. Do we still have control over the weapons in the tail?" Blackarachnia asked.

"Yes, but since it's being forcibly pointed away from the enemy, we can't fire it at the Arachnoblast to get it off of us," Rhinox said.

"What, we can't just fire a homing stinger or something and have it lock onto the Arachnoblast?" Silverbolt asked with a frown.

"It, ah, doesn't work that way," Rhinox said, looking embarrassed.

"…That's kind of a rather serious design flaw, isn't it?" Silverbolt said, growling angrily. "One that could get milady killed!"

"Y-yes, well…" Rhinox stammered, flushing.

"Don't blame him, Fido, I'm the one who designed this thing, the fault is mine," Blackarachnia said, much to Rhinox's relief. Silverbolt pouted, his hackles lowering "We'll fix it when we get back to base. Right now, we don't need it; anyway…let's see what we've got here…" A window popped up on the main screen showing the rather shaky and jittery view from the camera mounted on the tail. She grinned when she saw that several of the Nihilator battleships trading fire with her own forces were in view. "Perfect. Target…that ship there, and fire the grappler!"

Rhinox blinked in surprise. "The grappler? What good will that…oh. Oh, _I _see. Very clever, milady."

"What? What is it?" Silverbolt asked in confusion.

"You'll see in a moment, lover. Toldja I'd find a way out of this!" Blackarachnia said, stroking his back and causing him to purr.

The stinger at the end of the Arachnoblast's tail launched off its mounting with a pneumatic hiss, hundreds of yards of ultra-strong metal cable reeling out behind it as it shot through the air and buried itself in the side of one of the nearby battleships. Hooks shot out of the sides upon impact, imbedding itself in the ship's hull and making it nearly impossible to dislodge. With the grinding of a winch, the cable drew taut and started being pulled back into the tail, dragging the enemy ship with it.

"Vhat ze…vhat are zey doing?" Tarantulas asked in puzzlement as the battleship moved closer to the interlocked giant mechas.

"They're trying to crash that thing into us!" Arackaiser scoffed. "Too bad it won't do them any good…the Arachnoblast is far too powerful to be taken out so easily!"

"Er, actually sir, considering the damage we've already sustained so far, as well as the energy being collected in the Annihilator Beam array, a collision of that magnitude could cause some severe harm to the Arachnoblast," one of the operators said Mareepishly.

Arackaiser frowned. "Is that so? Then we'd better nip this problem in the bud. Trigger the killswitch! Blow that ship out of the skies!"

No sooner had he given the order then it was carried out: the battleship that had been ensnared by the Scorponok's stinger was ripped apart by a tremendous series of explosions, the concussive force of the blast—as well as several million pieces of shrapnel—bombarded the two titans as the vessel disappeared in a massive ball of fire. "Ha!" Arackaiser Murkrowed triumphantly. "And that's the end of-" Much to his surprise, the scorpion's stinger, propelled away from the ship it had been imbedded in by the force of its violent destruction, flew towards them, the recoil from its sudden removal causing it to whip through the air and wrap itself around the spider leg that had the Scorponok's tail pinned, winding the length of its cable around the limb as it buried its point in one of the limb's many knee joints. Arackaiser, Chobin, O, and pretty much everyone in the room gaped in astonishment. "Wh-what?"

"Detonate the stinger!" Blackarachnia ordered.

The hook lodged in the Arachnoblast's knee lit up, then exploded in a blinding flash of light, the blast strong enough to rip clear through the joint and sever the limb in half. The Scorponok's tail snapped back from the recoil, the dismembered bit of leg its cable had wrapped itself around flying through the air and landing with a crash behind it as the cable unraveled itself from the limb's length and whipped back into the tail with a resounding crack.

"We've lost another leg, sir!" one of the Nihilators cried as more sirens blared.

"I can _SEE_ that!" both Arackaiser and Tarantulas shouted.

Silverbolt gawked in awe, staring at Blackarachnia in reverence. He wasn't the only one. "That…that was brilliant! Truly you are a tactical genius, milady!"

"Rover, you haven't seen anything yet. Quickly, before it can recover! Increase forward shields to maximum and attack that core with our tail!" Blackarachnia commanded.

The air around the front of the Scorponok shimmered and hardened as a faint honeycomb matrix of energy appeared, humming faintly and shining with a blue light. There was a whir from the tail as a new stinger slid into place, this one a giant drill. With a high-pitched whine, the drill spun to life and shot forward as the tail, no longer hindered by the Arachnoblast's legs, launched itself at the Nihilator ship's crimson energy core, stabbing into it with all its might. The stinger pierced the core's exterior, jagged cracks running out from the point of impact as the orb's surface splintered and broke. Brilliant shafts of red light shone from the cracks, and then…

The core exploded in a tremendous blast of red energy, enveloping the front of the Scorponok in flames as the Arachnoblast was launched off the scorpion robot, the two legs that had been trapped by the Scorponok's pincers ripping off the side of the giant spider as its remaining two legs in turn tore a sizable chunk out of the Scorponok's back as they were violently removed from the white robot's body. Torrents of smoke and flames billowing out from the gaping hole that now made up the bottom third or so of the Arachnoblast's spherical form, the Nihilator mothership crashed to the ground hard enough to crater it and send out tremors across the ground, the earth splitting open in places as the landscape was reshaped, several of the Judgment vehicles getting knocked over or tipped into fissures by the seismic activity.

The Scorponok hadn't gotten off easy either. The recoil of the explosion had flung it backwards, some of its legs and treads getting torn off as they skidded across the ground, their broken bits lying scattered about the desert. The upper third or so of the Scorponok's tail had been vaporized, and the rest lolled about, smoke and sparks cascading from the jagged stump at its end. A large hole took up a good portion of the Scorponok's back, the exit wound formed by the arachnid's penetrating legs being forcibly dislodged from its body. In spite of the shields protecting the front end of the machine, the Scorponok's head and pincers had still sustained heavy damage, the white metal blackened to the point that it looked as if it was made of the same material as the Arachnoblast, the ornate decorations and elaborate filigree melted to slag and dripping down the sides, and the joints of the appendages fused shut so there was no way to move them, let alone open them to let go of the torn-off spider legs it had a death grip on.

In spite of all this damage, however, its crew was still alive. "Ugh…Rhinox, damage report, I seem to have lost my connection to the Scorponok's computers and have no idea what's going on in my baby," Blackarachnia groaned as she regained consciousness, her systems having crashed briefly due to the force of the explosion slamming into her bridge and causing a near-total systems failure in both the robot and her body. Thankfully, the backup systems seemed to be coming online, filling the command deck with the sickly dim illumination of emergency lighting as one by one her primary functions rebooted, making her aware of how much her everything ached and how it didn't look like her crew was in much better shape. Most of them were lying on the ground or strewn over their consoles in various degrees of unconsciousness, unArceusly moans emanating from those who were waking up and finding that, unfortunately, they were still alive. They probably wouldn't hurt this much if they were dead.

"Ugh…we…could be better, milady," the Rhyperior grunted as he struggled to his feet, grabbing the side of a console for support. "Virtually every system is in the red. Weapons are down, shields are dead, we've lost our tail, our manipulators are pretty much useless, and while we're still capable of mobility I don't think we can go very far or very fast."

"But we're still alive," Blackarachnia said.

"By the grace of Arceus, yes," Rhinox agreed. "Though not all of us were so lucky." He glanced at his handheld, frown deepening as data from all over the robot scrolled up the screen. "At least twenty-seven percent of the crew is dead, both from the Arachnoblast's initial attack and from the damage caused by the explosion."

Blackarachnia closed her eyes remorsefully. "So many…that must be at least, what, seventy Pokémon?"

"Seventy-three, to be precise," Rhinox said.

"They died heroes, battling a monstrous evil," Silverbolt, who had recovered by that point, said solemnly, nuzzling the cyborg Galvantula's side.

"They died because I was unable to protect them from a madmon, and because I couldn't think of a way to save us without putting even more of them in harm's way," Blackarachnia said bitterly, absent-mindedly stroking the winged Absol's back. "My plan to get us out of that monstrosity's clutches must have killed just as many of us as the damage it was inflicting to us was."

"Um, more, actually," Rhinox said.

"Not helping," Silverbolt hissed angrily as Blackarachnia's head sank in despair. Rhinox gulped. "The loss of life is regrettable, but…at least they are with Arceus now," he said to Blackarachnia, trying to cheer her up.

"That is little consolation to their families, whom we promised to protect in return for their service," Blackarachnia said unhappily. She sighed, drawing herself back up. "Rhinox, send me the names of the fallen and the contacts for their loved ones. I will write them of their dear ones' sacrifice later and ensure resources are provided for them so that they will remain taken care of for the foreseeable future, as well as ensure they each find a place in the Hall of Martyrs."

Rhinox bowed. "Thy will be done, milady."

"So, now that we have felled the beast, how do you suppose we are to go about defeating Team Getem?" Silverbolt asked as activity slowly increased around them, the lights rising back to normal levels and several of the irritating alarms cutting off as the Judgment agents returned to their stations and did what they could to restore the Scorponok to some semblance of functionality.

"Should we? I'm not sure we're in any condition to engage them," Blackarachnia said.

"Well, we cannot simply leave!" Silverbolt said, looking upset. "We have come all this way, and so many have died already!"

"And more will die if we continue, and if they die because we stubbornly chose to fight when we would have been better off retreating, they will die for nothing," Blackarachnia retorted. "Light of Justice will understand."

"He might, but I'm not sure the Sages will," Rhinox muttered.

"And who rules Judgment? The Seven Sages, or the Pokémon they crowned our King?" Blackarachnia said firmly. Rhinox frowned and a couple of the crewmon exchanged uncertain looks. In recent times, that was a question more than one of them among the ranks had started wondering…not that they would ever say so out loud, of course, lest their faith or conviction to the cause come into question. "It doesn't matter if we fail to obtain a Plate from Team Getem, we have succeeded in purging the world of several of the vilest sinners we have ever encountered, which is a good enough victory for now. Still…" She tapped her claws together in thought. "We _have_ come all this way…"

"I believe that if you give us enough time, we can repair the Scorponok enough to at least be somewhat combat-capable," Rhinox said, seeing his chance.

"How much time and how combat-capable?" Blackarachnia asked.

"The more time we have, the more repairs we can make," Rhinox said.

She didn't think that sounded promising. "How about this," she said after a moment. "Let's make repairs while we wait for Team Getem and those other Pokémon they're working with to finish off that bird monster. If we've made sufficient repairs by that point to put up a good fight, and they're tired enough from the battle to put up little resistance, we'll engage them in combat. If, however, they're still going strong, and we're not ready for them, we'll call it a draw and retreat until next time. While there's no shame in being a martyr for the cause, we only have so many brothers and sisters, and we should not order them to throw away their lives in vain if we don't at least have some reason to think their deaths will have some meaning."

Rhinox nodded, hiding a smile. "As you command, milady." While Judgment had a (rightfully earned) reputation of having using suicide missions to further their goals, the idea of Pokémon in the organization as being nothing more than expendable tools was something strongly frowned upon by Light of Justice, who felt that this life was just as important as the next one. That wasn't to say he disapproved of agents martyring themselves for the cause entirely, just that he felt it should be done as a last resort, rather than a modus operandi. This was another of the many traits that endeared him to his followers, and earned the ire of his alleged advisors, the Seven Sages, who didn't quite see things the same way he did. Light of Justice did his best to choose subordinates who had the same outlook on life as he did, which was one reason why Doctor Blackarachnia—who had originally been an unwilling test subject in the laboratory of an amoral cybernetics corporation until Judgment had destroyed the company and liberated her—had managed to rise as high in the rankings as she had, as well as outfit herself with the expensive technology her body needed to survive. As a result, she was fairly popular with the troops. (The fact that she was really pretty and wasn't inclined to experiment on anyone against their will unlike some of her less scrupulous colleagues was a plus, too.)

Unfortunately, this command was not to be followed, as one of the Pawniard operators did a double-take at the readings his instruments were giving him and cried out in alarm. "L-Lady Blackarachnia, we have a problem…I'm getting an energy spike from the remains of the Arachnoblast, and it's growing stronger!"

Blackarachnia started. "What?"

"Is it about to explode?" Silverbolt asked in concern. "I mean, it already exploded once, but I see no reason it can't explode again, right?"

"No sir, it doesn't seem consistent with a reactor meltdown, more like…well…" the Pawniard said uneasily, trailing off.

"What? Out with it, mon!" Rhinox snapped.

"I-it's more like something…_powering up_," the Pawniard said ominously.

On that foreboding note, the Arachnoblast's battered form started shaking. Red lines ran up the sides of what was left of the black sphere, the remaining two legs twitching and creaking. There was a hiss as clouds of steam vented from the lines as the sphere split open like a sliced Aguav berry, revealing a second sphere, half the size of the one that had been constructed around it but in arguably better shape. The two remaining legs from the Arachnoblast were attached to its sides. The sphere levitated into the air as a number of red lights and sensors flickered to life around it. Spiked protuberances sprouted from its sides, and from some of these protuberances extremely long rods extended outwards. These rods bent several times, doubling and folding back on themselves in some places, before their ends finally touched the ground, creating eight very long and very skinny legs. In addition to the two larger legs, it looked like some sort of giant mechanical Daddy Longlegs. (Or would have if such a creature existed in the Pokémon world. As such, to most people it was just another giant robot spider.)

"What? They're…they're not defeated?" Silverbolt cried in horror.

"Rhinox, get any weapons we have left online, stat!" Blackarachnia shouted. Biting his lip to hold back a panicked exclamation that such a thing was impossible, Rhinox nodded and quickly set about doing just that. "How in Arceus's name did they survive that?" she wondered to herself.

"Well, we survived it," Silverbolt pointed out.

"Yes, but they're the ones who exploded!" Blackarachnia cried.

"Oh, I think you'll find that my Arachnoblast is a bit more sturdier than that," Arackaiser crooned sinisterly as his face appeared on their cracked and static-flecked main screen.

"_My_ Arachnoblast! Stop taking credit for it!" Tarantulas snapped, shoving his head into view. Arackaiser pushed him away without even looking at him.

"Chobin…or Arackaiser…or whatever you're calling yourself now…" Blackarachnia hissed angrily.

"Surprised that I survived, Doctor?" Arackaiser asked in amusement. "You shouldn't be. Surely you didn't think that a genius of my caliber would have constructed a fortress of this size without giving it a smaller, more agile second form in case of emergencies!"

"The thought never occurred to me, actually…" Blackarachnia grumbled.

"You may have cheated death once, Arackaiser, but once you see _our_ second form you will be sent on your way to Arceus' Judgment in no time flat!" Silverbolt declared.

An awkward silence filled the bridge. "Um, we don't have a second form," Rhinox said.

Silverbolt blinked. "Wait, seriously? We don't?"

"Er, no," Rhinox said.

"Why not?" Silverbolt demanded.

"It never occurred to me that we might need one, okay?" Blackarachnia snapped. As Silverbolt cowered, ears pressed back against his head, the scientist groaned and put her face in her claws. "Wonderful. Our first genuine battle in the Scorponok and not only is it going to get scrapped, it turns out there's at least half a dozen problems with it that I never considered during the design phase."

"Assuming we get out of this, I'm sure Light of Justice will forgive you," Silverbolt said.

"Yes, but Ghetsis won't," Blackarachnia grumbled. "And he'll be pissed by our waste of resources, too."

Silverbolt nodded unhappily. "For a mon of God, he has an awfully nasty temper…"

"Oh, that's because he's not really the slightest bit religious and is probably just using your precious 'Light of Justice' and your entire organization to further his own ends," Arackaiser said flippantly. "Seen it a million times. Done it, too."

"What? That's preposterous!" Silverbolt said indignantly, although Blackarachnia and Rhinox both frowned in thought. "You're already going to kill us, there's no need for you to call our faith into question too! Have you no shame, villain?"

"No," Arackaiser said.

"Oh. Should have seen that coming," Silverbolt said.

"Yes, you should have," Arackaiser agreed. "Fortunately, you'll have no problem seeing this coming: YOUR DOOM!" Cackling, the Arachnoblast's second form advanced on the helpless Scorponok, preparing to kill the agents of Judgment once and for all.

In the meantime, the heroes were still battling Maelstrom, and things weren't going very well for the fused monster. With its power orbs destroyed, its elemental powers had fled it, and as a result whenever it tried to call up fire, ice, or lightning, all it got was excruciating pain and heartburn. The power of Shadow still flowed strongly through it, however, and so long as it remained within it Maelstrom could not be defeated!

That's what it told itself, anyway. The reality so far seemed to be quite the opposite. Snarling as the petulant heroes fired their attacks at it, Maelstrom weaved about through the skies, its flying skills unaffected much by its severe drop in power. Shadow Aura blazing up around it and taking the form of a massive bird of darkness, Maelstrom whirled around and dove towards its pursuers with Shadow Rush, spreading its wings and causing the wings of its energy field to extend outwards for hundreds of yards.

As impressive-looking as this attack was, however, it failed to intimidate the heroes. "Hey Ash, let's see which of us can knock that thing out first!" Ritchie called to Ash as he shot past on Cruise's back, racing towards the dark bird.

"Hey, no fair getting a head start!" Tiny shouted as he flew into view. "Daddy, come on, we gotta beat them!"

"Tiny, this isn't a competition," Ash said sternly. "On the other hand, I _am_ the Chosen One, and beating that thing is supposed to be my job, so…Lugia, could you lend a hand?"

"Certainly, Ash," Lugia said, eyes glowing as he telekinetically flung Ash off his back towards Maelstrom. He grabbed Tiny in his mental grip as well and sent him hurtling right beside his foster father.

"Wait, but that wasn't a hand," said the confused Tiny as he caught up to Ash.

Ash smirked and rolled his eyes. "It's a figure of speech, Tiny."

"Hey Ash, glad you could make it!" Ritchie commented as he and Cruise pulled up alongside Ash and Tiny. "Didn't think you'd get here so fast, though!"

"Why, did you want to get to that thing first?" Ash quipped.

"Heh, something like that!" Ritchie said.

Maelstrom shrieked with fury as it saw its destined nemesis approach and sped up, Shadow flaring up around it. "Here it comes! Get ready!" Ash shouted.

"I was BORN ready!" Ritchie said. He jumped off of Tiny, drawing back his fist as he charged Aura into it. Ash powered up his own fists, as Cruise and Tiny ignited their Auras. With a battle cry rivaling Maelstrom's screeching, the four blue-blazing Pokémon collided with the black and purple-enshrouded Maelstrom. There was a tremendous explosion, bursts of Aura flying all over the place as positive and negative energies clashed spectacularly, before the Shadow inevitably gave way and the wicked bird received a double punch and a double ram to the face. Howling in pain, Maelstrom was flung backwards, blood and Shadow spewing from its beak.

"Hey, _I_ was the one who had dibs on punching gods out! Get in line!" Briney called as he shot past the two sets of father and son and drove his fist into Maelstrom's beak with a powerful Metal Punch, snapping the monster's head sideways and sending it tumbling to the ground. "Ha! Just as I thought, I've still got it!"

"That thing still has 'it' left in it, too," Goldor commented as Maelstrom recovered, Shadow exploding out from it and shoving everyone back.

"Not much, though, that wasn't nearly as strong as some of the blasts it's made in the past," Sparky observed.

"Which means we've got it on the ropes! Booyah!" Zippo cheered.

"It would seem to disagree on that notion," Butler said as Maelstrom rose back into the air, flapping its wings and sending Shadow Waves slicing through the air towards them.

"It would be wrong!" Bow said, dramatically sweeping a tendril outward and creating a gust of wind that swept the Shadow Waves up and sent them smashing back into its maker, causing Maelstrom to shriek as they sliced at its wings, blood, feathers, and Shadow flying through the air.

Hissing angrily, Maelstrom opened its mouth and spat a ball of Shadow into the rainclouds overhead. The clouds trembled, purple light flashing through them, before they tore open with a rumble and started pouring purple acid rain on the heroes. "Oh, not _more_ dreadful weather!" Silvia moaned.

"Hang on, I've got this!" Salty said. "Now that this thing's grown weaker and its power is no longer connected to the storm, I can use my Splash Plate to fix this!" He wiggled his tentacles, the gems on his armor glowing. The acid raindrops trembled and suddenly changed direction, converging over Salty's head and coalescing into a ball of purple water, a ball that grew in size as Salty attracted all the tainted water from the air and from the clouds above, becoming about the size of one of his Hydro Cannon balls. He grunted, eyes narrowed in concentration, and the purple hue dissipated as the water was purified by the magic of his armor. "And I can return it to the sender, too!" He flung it at the startled Maelstrom.

"And since it no longer has elemental power, I can finally use my Zap Plate against it!" Sparky said, raising his sword and firing a lightning bolt at the ball of water.

"Allow me to help as well!" Bob said, firing a Thunderbolt of his own at the sphere.

The electricity saturated and electrified the Hydro Cannon, causing it to glow with a brilliant yellow light as it shot through the air towards Maelstrom. The bird ground its teeth and swiftly dove out of the way, causing the sphere to shoot right past it, the arcs of electricity dancing across the surface just missing its talons as it went. Maelstrom laughed…until the eyes of the Psychics glowed, and the electrified orb abruptly reversed directions and shot towards Maelstrom from behind. Eyes widening in alarm, Maelstrom tried to dive out of the way again, but a Future Sight energy ball summoned by Cherry abruptly appeared from out of nowhere and slammed into its front, exploding and flinging it into the giant electrified sphere, which engulfed it in an even _bigger_ explosion.

Wings flailing frantically as static crackled across its form, Maelstrom tumbled downwards towards the ground. Not satisfied with just allowing it to crash, and inspired by Sparky and Bob's example, Zippo dove past the dark bird and slammed into the earth, channeling the power of the Flame Plate into the ground and causing a geyser of lava to erupt directly underneath Maelstrom, flinging it back into the air wreathed in flames. "Ha! Let's see you freeze your way out of THAT!" he cried.

As the burning Maelstrom flailed about in agony, several hundred glowing runes manifested in a rough sphere around it and blasted the dark bird with tremendously powerful beams of raw magic, causing its form to disappear beneath the countless streams of brilliant energy. "Nice form, Lily!" Fantina commented from where she, Lily, and all the other mages had pooled their power together to cast that group spell. "Not bad for your first time!"

Lily blushed. "Th-thank you, Fantina…"

"Oh, what about my form, Duchess? That was my first time using that spell as well!" Silvia said eagerly.

"It was very nice as well," Fantina said graciously, causing Silvia to squeal.

Until Butler said, "However, it wasn't nearly as good as Lily's, since you lack her raw potential or untapped power."

"In fact, I think that was about as powerful as you'll ever be," Diane commented.

Butler nodded in agreement. "Yep, it's all downhill from here."

Silvia stammered at them wordlessly before bursting into tears. "Butler! Diane! Zat was very rude!" Fantina chided her servants.

"But true," Diane said, unapologetic.

"Well, yes, maybe, but zere's no need to make 'er feel bad about it!" Fantina said, breaking Silvia's heart further. "Apologize!"

"Very well, milady. I'm sorry for pointing out that you aren't as strong as Lily will be one day, and never will be," Butler said.

"Yeah, what he said," Diane said. Silvia cried even louder.

"Dad, shouldn't you do something?" Buck asked.

"Why? They're absolutely right. Besides, I get a perverse pleasure in watching someone take the mickey out on _her_ for a change," Goldor said. Buck sweatdropped.

"I-I'm not…I'm not _that_ strong…am I?" Lily said, blushing.

"Lily, you are your mozzer's daughter, and I mean zat in ze best possible way," Fantina said kindly.

Lily blinked. "I'm sorry, but I'm not sure there's any positive way to spin that statement."

Fantina flushed. "Ah, right. Er, what I mean is, your mozzer is one of ze greatest sorceresses in ze world (not as good as me, of course) and descended from one of ze oldest and strongest magical lines in ze world. As a result, so are you. Zat and ze ozzer power you in'erited due to ze…circumstances of your birzh imply you will be a mage of great power someday. You will surely surpass 'er, and even possibly me someday!"

Lily turned red. "Wh-what? You! No! S-surely not _you_, Fantina!"

"Oh yes, you will, dear, I 'ave a good feeling about it," Fantina said.

"So do I, which should settle that matter," Cherry commented.

"But-but I…oh my…" Lily said, turning even redder.

"Is it really so 'ard to believe? You almost killed Bellum yesterday!" Bow pointed out. "Mama's only come zat close a 'andful of times, and I'm not sure she's ever managed to damage 'er as much as you did!"

"Yes, but Fantina did most of the work wearing her down," Lily said anxiously.

"Even so, you were only one spell away from ending 'er unlife permanently," Fantina pointed out.

"But I didn't," Lily said unhappily. "Doesn't that make me weak?"

"You spared 'er because you zought you could save your friends," Fantina pointed out. "Just because it was a lie doesn't make what you did any less noble. Zough maybe a little regrettable, since it still means we'll 'ave to deal wiz 'er again in ze future."

Lily's face fell a little at that. "Yes…I'm not looking forward to that."

"You'll win," Cherry said.

Lily perked up at that. "Will I?"

"Sure," said Cherry. "Granted, I haven't actually foreseen it yet, but I have a good feeling about you. I'm fairly confident you can pull it off."

"Oh…thanks…" Lily said, part of her feeling reassured, another part…not so much. So many people seemed to think she had what it took to beat her mother. Granted, she almost _had_, but…it had been pretty close, and she wasn't entirely certain she could pull it off again. She also wasn't exactly looking forward to the encounter, given that her mother would know not to underestimate her the next time and try even _harder_ to kill her…

_Lily, we've been over this,_ B chided gently. _You beat Bellum once. You can do it again. You _will_ do it again. You're stronger than her in all the ways that matter. Now is not the time for you to start doubting yourself again. I thought we were over this._

_Sorry,_ Lily said apologetically. _I'm so used to being afraid of my mother it's hard to seriously consider the thought of her being vulnerable, in spite of what happened yesterday. Old habits and all that._

_Understandable. Remember that you'll (hopefully) have your friends to help you next time, and me. You _can_ do this,_ B said.

…_Y-yes, I know. I can…I _can_ do this!_ Lily said decisively, feeling a little better.

_That's the spirit! Oh, and by the way, Maelstrom's about to break free,_ B said.

_Oh, thanks,_ Lily said. There was a pause. _Wait, what?_

It was at that moment there was a tremendous explosion of Shadow from the brilliant heart of the web of light they had trapped Maelstrom in, the dark flames billowing outwards and shattering the glyphs generating the beams, causing the mages to flinch and cry in pain from the backlash of their spells breaking. Trailing smoke from its form, the dark bird rose up from the explosion, shrieking as it spread its wings wide and released Shadow in every direction. Balls of purple and black flames lashed outwards, shaping themselves into miniature birds made of Shadow and flying towards the heroes like a murder of Murkrow, shrieking and cackling as their creator brought up the rear. "Well, that's new," Ash said.

"I guess it got tired of us beating the crud out of it and decided to make some friends of its own!" Zippo said. "Too bad those little birdies aren't going to be nearly enough to beat us!"

"That's right! It's not the only one that can make more of itself," Happy said, her armor glistening as she shed shell after shell. Palmer nodded in agreement and cloned himself using ninjutsu.

"Or summon reinforcements!" Rebecca said, conjuring up several dozen of her spirits.

"It's always good to 'ave some friends you can call on in times of need," Bow said, summoning her wind spirit friends.

"Well, I'm not sure if these count as friends, but…" Dean took a deep breath and vomited a few dozen black Zubat with Wooper heads.

"…That's…really disturbing…" said Todd. Naturally, he snapped several pictures.

"What's wrong, Bob? Not gonna call up any minions of your own?" Dean asked.

"I…think I'm fine just shooting lightning bolts, thanks," Bob said, eyeing Dean's creations with a look of horrified fascination.

Dean shrugged. "Eh, suit yourself."

The spirits, shells, bats, and clones flew ahead of them, meeting and clashing with the Shadow birds, blasts of Shadow and Bug-type moves and elemental power shooting through the air as the heroes continued for Maelstrom. Annoyed that its attempt to delay them with expendable minions hadn't worked, the dark bird opened its mouth wide and fired a dark Tri Attack. Unimpressed, Lugia returned fire with an Aeroblast, his super-powerful signature move shredding the Tri Attack to pieces, smashing into Maelstrom and sending it flying.

The monster managed to recover swiftly, however, and used the momentum from its fall to start spinning into a dark tornado, flames of Shadow rising up to encircle it as the beast twisted through the air and shot back upwards in a drill of purple and black power. It smashed through the fighting birds and bats and spirits and Palmer clones and Happy shells as it grew bigger and bigger, fueled by Maelstrom's rage and desperation and hatred towards the heroes who had inflicted so much harm on it.

"What, this again?" Ash asked in exasperation.

"It's desperate. It realizes its time is almost up, so is willing to do anything, no matter how unlikely or foolish, to try and stave off its inevitable end," Lugia said.

"Then we might as well oblige it with the same move that broke that the last time," Briney said, nodding to the Goldorringtons, who groaned.

"Ugh, that _again?_ Do you have any idea how tired of spinning I am?" Silvia complained.

"I think I might become permanently dizzy if I have to do it one more time…" Buck said.

"Tough," Briney said unsympathetically.

"Ooh! Mama, I 'ave an idea! Why don't we _all_ combine our powers for ze tornado?" Bow suggested, eyes lighting up as a thought occurred to her.

Fantina frowned thoughtfully. "But not all of us are capable of spinning fast enough to make tornadoes, dear."

"You don't 'ave to! Zose zat can can join us in ze twister, while everyone else bombards ze tornado wiz zeir full power," Bow said. "What we did ze last time shows it can be done, but a lot of you were focusing your power on weakening zat beast razzer zan strengzening us! But now zat it's lost most of its power…"

"We 'ave no reason to waste our strengzh on weakening it! Tres magnifique! Brilliant idea, Bow!" Fantina cried, hugging her daughter. "Did you 'ear zat, everyone? Zose who can, 'elp create ze tornado, everyone else, prepare to attack it wiz all your might!"

"Um, but won't that hurt the Pokémon inside?" Lily asked in concern.

"It didn't seem to the last time," Briney said.

Ash nodded. "Yeah, I was inside it too, and the attacks didn't affect me."

"I felt it, but zat's because I was ze wind making up ze twister. 'owever, since I was wind, it didn't bozzer me very much, and I doubt zis will eizzer," Bow said.

"Well…okay then! Let's do this!" Lily said, gaining confidence.

"And brace yourselves, because I believe this is going to be a big one," Palmer said.

"Oh, I am _definitely_ getting a shot of this!" Todd said giddily.

"Form up around us," Lugia said. "Ash and I will form the core of the tornado!"

"Okay, but only if we can join in too!" Ritchie said as he and Cruise flew next to them.

Ash blinked. "Uh, you guys can make a tornado?"

"Well, no, but we can spin!" Ritchie hugged Cruise tightly and kicked his sides. The Pupitar obligingly started twirling in place, Ritchie clinging him as he went around and around and around. "Well?"

Ash sweatdropped. "Um…"

"Hey, if Cruise gets to be in it, so can I! I can spin too!" Tiny said stubbornly, spinning as well…and came to a stop a few moments later, eyes swirly as he wobbled about in a daze. "Whoooaaa…so dizzy…"

"Hey, you'd better not throw up on me!" Todd cried as Tiny drunkenly bobbed a bit too close to him. "You and your friend already did that to most of my stuff!"

Ash facepalmed. "Um, Tiny, Ritchie, Cruise, I appreciate the offer but-"

"All right, you can join us," Lugia said.

"Wait, what?" Ash cried in alarm.

_Don't worry, I will protect them,_ Lugia said telepathically.

"Well…okay, I guess it would be all right," Ash said, though he still wasn't sure this was a good idea.

"Cool," Ritchie said.

"Yay!" Tiny said.

"Everyone who's going to spin with us, come here quickly, we don't have much time until it gets here!" Lugia shouted.

"Why hasn't it already?" Diane asked.

"Talking is a free action," Lily said.

"…Oh, yes. That," Diane said deadpan.

Briney, Goldor, Silvia, Buck, Ritchie, Cruise, Tiny, Zippo, Sparky, Salty, Bow, and Palmer quickly gathered around Ash and Lugia, while the others held back, ready to help in any way they could. (And in Todd's case, take pictures.) "Now," Lugia rumbled as he glanced at all the allies clustered around him, willing to help him and Ash rid the world of the scourge of the birds forever. "We begin!"

He started spinning in place, rapidly turning into a silver blur that expanded outwards as white winds whipped around it. Those white winds turned blue and burst into flames when Ash ignited his Aura, creating a blue and silver cyclone. Ritchie, Tiny, and Cruise began spinning as well and ignited their Auras, Lugia's telekinetic grip grabbing them and causing them to revolve around his and Ash's cyclone like the particles of an atom. Briney and the Goldorringtons used Rapid Spin and Gyro Ball, whirling around the blue and silver cyclone at top speeds and generating a metallic tornado of their own which engulfed the one made by Ash and Lugia. Zippo, Sparky, and Salty's armor lit up, and auras made of their respective elements blasted up around them. They started flying around the metal tornado, leaving streaks of their elements behind them, blending together to create a whirlwind with stripes made of fire, electricity, and water. Palmer flew in circles around the elemental tornado, using the speed his kind were renowned for (both Dragonites and ninjas, that is) to whip up super-strong winds that formed another layer around the tornado. Bow transformed herself into purple wind and wrapped herself around that twister. The resulting tornado was not only bigger than any of the other ones any of the heroes had generated previously, but it was also extremely colorful. Awestruck, Todd took picture after picture as the heroic tornado shot forwards and collided with Maelstrom's dark tornado, colorful waves of light and energy blasting outwards from where their tips were clashing with each other and ripping the landscape apart. "Sooooo…cooooool…"

The multicolored tornado pushed inexorably against the dark one, forcing it back and causing it to compact upon itself as the combined forces of the heroes began to overwhelm Maelstrom…until the dark bird screeched with fury and terror and surged forwards, its panic and desperation lending strength to its attack and causing more and more Shadow to blast out from its body, causing the dark tornado to expand until it was closer to the size of the one generated by the heroes and nearly as powerful. Maelstrom began pushing back, slowing down the advance of its enemies if not stopping them in their tracks entirely, the multicolored winds making up their twister seeming to ripple and bleed together in frustration as the dark bird did its damndest to keep them away.

"It just won't give up, will it?" Dean said incredulously.

"This is its absolute last chance. If it cannot stop us now, it will never be able to stop us, and we will defeat it," Cherry said. "It is aware of this, and so is throwing everything it has left into one last desperate struggle to survive."

"Can it beat them?" Lily asked in concern.

"No, but it can wear them down. We're all tired enough as it is from this neverending battle, and if the beast holds out long enough to sap their strength, we'll have a tougher time putting it to rest for good," Cherry said.

"Which is why we are 'ere to provide support," Fantina said, marshalling her power. "Is everyone ready?" The others nodded, looks of resolve and determination on their faces. They were as ready for this to end as she was. Fantina grinned, magical flames flickering around her form. "Zen let us show zis creature our power! TOGEZZER!"

"TOGETHER!" everyone else shouted, glowing as they powered up. (Except for Todd, though the flash from his eyes as he took picture after picture might count, depending on your perspective.) Crying in exultation, they launched their attacks in unison; Fantina, Lily, Butler, Diane and Cherry channeling streams of raw magic into the tornado; Rose and Happy flapping their wings and blowing as much wind into the twister as they could; Dean spitting a black Hydro Spout; Bob zapping it with a dark Thunderbolt; Bitey unleashing a Nightshade; Rebecca calling upon every spirit she could get a hold of, and Todd…taking lots of pictures. The attacks melded with the tornado, causing it to flash and pulsate prismatically as all the colors of the rainbow rippled across its winding frame, and it grew, bigger and bigger and bigger, until it not only dwarfed the dark tornado, but enveloped it completely, its multicolored winds shredding the Shadow Aura to pieces and blasting Maelstrom with the full combined power of the united heroes.

The dark bird screamed as the attacks washed over it one by one. The spells of the mages filled every atom of its body with pain as pure magic irradiated its twisted form. Rebecca's spirits burned it, zapped it, splashed it, froze it, and blew it away. Bitey's Nightshade dazed it. The winds of Bow, Rose, and Happy tore every feather from its body. Palmer's spiraling razor-edged flight sliced off its wings as the Dragonite shot past, ice daggers clutched in his claws. Sparky and Bob's lightning electrified it. Zippo's flames incinerated it. Salty and Dean's water drowned it. Briney and the Goldorringtons smashed into it hard enough to shatter its bones. Ritchie, Cruise, and Tiny slammed into it with all their might, their positive Auras flowing into its body and blasting its Shadow away, stripping away the last of its power.

And without that power, there was nothing it could do to stop its worst nightmares, Ash and Lugia, from appearing in the heart of the storm and shooting towards it with steely-eyed looks of determination in their eyes. Desperate, it called upon its last reserves of strength, trying to find even a single scrap of energy it could use to defend itself with…

But it had nothing left. It was completely and utterly spent. Every last bit of its power had been stripped from it, exhausted or torn away in the long battle against the heroes. There was absolutely nothing it could do to save itself. And, as death approached on white wings, Maelstrom realized that there never had been, that it had been doomed from the start, that the instant its component parts had taken that last step over the point of no return it had signed its own death warrant, that the moment the trio had fully given themselves over to evil there was no other possible way that this conflict could have ended but this. All their struggling, all their frantic attempts to escape their destinies had done nothing more but dig themselves deeper and further ensure their fate was sealed. This fate was one that they had brought almost entirely upon themselves.

_We never stood a chance, did we?_ it thought to itself bleakly as Ash leaped off of Lugia's back and soared towards him, drawing his blue-burning fist back as Lugia drew back his own, Psychic energy crackling around it instead of Aura. _Against Ash, against Pokémon like his friends…the mortals we so scorned and mocked for their weakness and short lives…in the end, they were stronger than we could ever possibly be._

Maelstrom was already in so much pain that it almost didn't feel the double punch when it came, as Ash buried his fist up to the wrist in its mouth at the same time Lugia drove his fist into its chest, a blast of Aura and Psychic power ripping through its body and out the other side. Its six eyes met Ash's, seeing the anger and courage and determination swirling in the Lucario's orbs…as well as the darkness tainting his depths. It wondered, for a moment, if the boy would eventually become a monster worse than it had ever been.

There was something amusing about that. So amusing, in fact, that as it fell from Ash and Lugia's fists and tumbled out of the sky, the winds from the heroic tornado dissipating to let it pass, that it could do nothing but laugh and laugh and laugh.

Ash watched dispassionately as Maelstrom plummeted to its death, the wicked bird's form becoming enveloped in a sphere of darkness which burst to reveal the battered and broken forms of Articuno, Zapdos, and Moltres; the trio crashing to the ground hard enough to crater it. They lay there as blood oozed from their broken bodies and tattered feathers fell all around them. "Lugia," he said after a moment, while around them his friends cheered and celebrated and tried to catch their breaths.

"Yes, Ash?" Lugia asked.

"I…enjoyed that. More than I should have," Ash confessed.

Lugia closed his eyes briefly. "So did I."

Ash trembled and clenched his fist, staring as the Aura around it flickered and briefly turned a light shade of purple. "It's getting worse, isn't it?"

"You still have time," Lugia said, glancing back at Ash. "There is still hope for you to save yourself."

"And if I can't," Ash said. "Am I going to have to be put down like those three?"

Lugia did not reply. Instead, he said, "Come. There is one thing left for us to do before this is truly over."

Ash blinked. "Defeat the Nihilators?"

"No," Lugia said as he spread his wings and glided down towards the crater the birds were lying in. "Get some answers."

Elsewhere, Arackaiser cackled triumphantly as the Arachnoblast loomed over the helpless form of Scorponok, the two remaining legs from the giant spider's first form raised in the air to deliver the finishing blow. "You've put up a good fight for such sanctimonious delusional would-be do-gooders…but in this war of giant mechanical arachnids, there was only ever one way this could ever have ended: with I, Arackaiser, standing tall over the broken forms of my defeated foes!" He grinned sinisterly. "And with you out of the way, I can finally turn my attention to Turtle Titan…assuming Zhu Bajie hasn't finished him off by now, which, I will admit, there is a very strong chance that he hasn't, because Zhu Bajie is an imbecile and the only intellect capable of matching up to the Titan's sheer guile and savviness is my own!"

"Ugh…why do the really bad ones always have to monologue instead of just getting it over with?" Blackarachnia complained.

"Don't we monologue before slaying the wicked, too?" Silverbolt asked.

"That's completely different, we're pointing out the errors of their evil ways and explaining how they have brought Arceus' divine wrath upon themselves. This guy's just gloating," Blackarachnia said.

"Ah, of course," Silverbolt said.

"You should be thanking me, really," Arackaiser said, proving Blackarachnia's point. "You're so slavishly devoted to Arceus, and I'm about to send you to Him on a one-way ticket. I hope He'll be as happy to see you as you are to see Him, though I rather doubt it. I've heard he doesn't like hypocrites who do evil in His name."

"We are NOT hypocrites and we are NOT doing evil in His name!" Silverbolt shouted.

"Right, just keep telling yourself that," Arackaiser said with a sneer. The Arachnoblast drew back its legs. "Prepare to meet your maker!"

"Everyone, this is Doctor Blackarachnia," the Galvantula said, using the intercom to address everyone on the Scorponok. "It appears that we have lost the battle against evil and are about to die. However, if we are to depart this world today, let it be on our own terms, in a way that will have our names engraved in the Hall of Martyrs for all time. Activate the auto-destruct and assume positions of prayer. Since we are about to see Arceus, let our last words in this life be praises in His name."

The lights dimmed. Solemnly, everyone on the bridge knelt to the floor, bowed their heads, and started praying as a digital timer appeared in a corner of the main screen and started ticking down from thirty seconds. "At least if we are to die, it will be together," Silverbolt said sadly, spreading a wing and laying it over the Galvantula.

"I wouldn't have it any other way, Bowser," she said, leaning in for a kiss.

The Arachnoblast's legs thrust forward…

When suddenly, what sounded remarkably like a train whistle pierced the air. There was a glint of light in the distance, and suddenly the engine car of the Enchanted Express appeared, a blazing corona of magic swirling around its form as it raced down a set of glowing golden tracks at close to the speed of sound. Whistle sounding off again and again, the train rammed into the joint of the first leg, causing it to shatter and dismember the limb, then kept going and smashed through the joint of the second leg, destroying and dismembering it as well as it continued on its course, circling the giant robot spider while whistling triumphantly. As the Arachnoblast reared back in alarm, flailing its maimed limbs about, the severed legs clattered to the ground only inches away from the head of the Scorponok, coming very close to skewering the bridge.

Blackarachnia broke away from Silverbolt in astonishment. "Stop the countdown! STOP THE COUNTDOWN! We've been saved!"

"Our prayers have been answered!" Silverbolt gasped.

"Incredible! It can only be divine providence!" Rhinox said.

"And it means Arceus really _does_ approve of our mission and we aren't just religious extremists killing people who disagree with our interpretation of morality and divine doctrine after all!" an Escavalier cried ecstatically. Everyone on the bridge cheered.

"Yes! Nice one, boys!" the Ampharos chief engineer congratulated her subordinates as the train circled about, looking for an opportunity to make another strike.

"After spending so long out of the spotlight, it's good to get a chance to remind the bad guys we exist!" the Aron engineer said.

"What do you mean? We've spent the last several minutes destroying battleships," the Magneton said.

"Yeah, but those were just small fry, nameless and faceless mooks who don't matter. We weren't doing anything to the main villains, not until now, anyway," the Aron said. "But we did something just now, and it was AWESOME!"

"Huh. Yeah, it was, wasn't it?" the Magneton admitted.

"And we'll get more chances for awesomeness before we're through, if I have anything to say about it," the Ampharos said with a smirk.

"Was that…a flying train?" O gasped in disbelief as Arackaiser cursed up a storm.

"It wasn't flying," one of the operators said.

"Huh?" said the confused O.

"Planes fly. Our battleships can fly. This thing can fly. Trains can't-" the Nihilator started to explain, until Tarantulas held a razor-edged leg only inches from his throat.

"Don't," the Ariados said coldly. "Just…don't. Zat joke's been done to deazh, okay?"

The Nihilator swallowed and nodded gingerly, trying not to cut his throat in the process. "Understood, sir."

"Gah! I can't believe I forgot about the Super Train!" Arackaiser snarled, pounding on his console in frustration. "With all the fuss about Turtle Titan and the Justice Force, I'd completely forgotten they'd gotten Super Train involved in the fight as well!"

"Well, clearly they haven't forgotten about us," O said.

"Let's take care of those pests once and for all. Judgment can wait, they're not going anywhere. I think it's time for us to catch the train!" Arackaiser said sinisterly.

"I think you need to check your clock, Arackaiser, because the only thing it's time for is your ass-whupping!" Leo taunted as his face appeared on the screen.

"Titan!" Arackaiser snarled. "So, Zhu Bajie didn't beat you after all, then? I can't say I'm not surprised, I never really thought he stood a chance against you."

"Vhat? But zen zat means…ze Robo-Groudon vas destroyed?" Tarantulas cried.

"Yep! Completely and utterly pwned, in an absolutely massive and awe-inspiring battle that I would have gotten on camera but, uh, my battery died. Yeah," Leo said.

"Nooooo! My poor baby!" Tarantulas wailed, bursting into oily tears that only lasted for a few seconds. "Aaaand I'm over it. Oh vell, guess I know vhat to fix in ze next model. Namely, remove everyzing I installed ven I vas drunk…"

"I'm actually relieved you survived, to be honest…if anyone is to kill you, it should be me!" Arackaiser said.

"Awww, thanks buddy, I love you too," Leo joked.

"You were foolish to open up communications with me again, Turtle. Now I can regain control of my ship!" Arackaiser gloated.

"Heh, don't even think about it. I'm not calling you using your—or rather, _my_-ship's comm. systems, I'm using my laptop's Skipe program and bouncing the signal across so many different servers and satellite feed's you'll never be able to trace it back to me!" Leo boasted.

"We'll see about that," Arackaiser said, leaning over his keyboard and starting to type.

"…Huh. You may actually be able to reach me in a few minutes," Leo said after a moment, grudgingly impressed. "Too bad you don't have nearly enough time to do it, since my friends and I are about to cream you using your own ships!"

Arackaiser looked up from his screen in alarm. "What?"

"Sir, radar's picking up about a half-dozen incoming capitol ships," one of the Nihilators reported. "They're giving off the signals of the ships that got hijacked!"

Arackaiser and Tarantulas' eyes widened in horror. "WHAT?"

They rushed over to the radar operator, shoved him out of the way, and stared at the display in disbelief. "How did zey get zis far? Practically ze entire fleet vas betveen us and zem!" Tarantulas said incredulously.

"Speaking of which, where _is_ the fleet? Why don't I see any of our ships on here?" Arackaiser demanded.

"Um…well…I think they might be gone, sir," the radar operator said nervously. "Our ships, that is. All of them."

"…ALL of zem?" Tarantulas shrieked.

"That's…that's not possible! We had a fleet of…of…" Arackaiser paused, brow furrowing in confusion. "How many ships did we have, come to think of it?"

Tarantulas blinked. "I'm…not sure, actually. Vhen Oblivion's Shadow said I could use vatever resources vere necessary for ze mission, I may have gone a little overboard."

"I have no idea what or who you're talking about, but if you're saying we had an awful lot of ships, you're right," Arackaiser said. "But now apparently we have _no_ ships. How is that possible?"

"Well, sirs, it's, ah, actually not that hard a notion to swallow," O said. "I mean, we had a _lot_ of ships, but not an endless amount, and considering how many were getting torn up by Team Aurabolt and their allies, the cars of the Enchanted Express, the legendary birds, friendly fire, the hijacked ships, the Arachnoblast itself, and now these Judgment guys, it was inevitable that we'd lose them all eventually if we weren't taking good care of them, which, um, I guess we weren't, since we've sort of been focusing more on whichever personal vendetta stroke your fancies than on managing the battle at large."

Tarantulas and Arackaiser exchanged guilty looks at that. "Um…vell…you might have somezing zere," Tarantulas admitted Mareepishly.

"But…but how could this have possibly happened without our noticing?" Arackaiser demanded. "There should have been warnings, distress signals, calls for help!"

"There were, actually," a communications officer spoke up. "Quite a few, actually."

Arackaiser's glare could have pierced metal. "And you didn't tell me _because?_"

"I _tried_ to," the communications officer said. "But when I did, you said, 'Not now, I'm too busy trying to show that hussy who the greatest supervillain in the world is!'"

"…Oh," Arackaiser said, blushing.

"Vell, vhy didn't you tell _me_, zen?" Tarantulas demanded.

"I _tried_ to," the communications officer said. "But when I did, you said, 'Not now, I'm trying to show this hussy that I'm WAY eviler than Bellum, and what happens to those who break my heart.'"

Tarantulas frowned. "Zat doesn't sound like me!"

"Sorry, I left the accent out. Ahem. 'Not now, I'm trying to show zis hussy zat I'm VAY eviler zan Bellum, and vat happens to zose who break my heart," the Nihilator said.

Tarantulas grimaced. "Oh. Yeah. Zat does ring a bell…"

"And why didn't you tell _me?_" O asked angrily.

"I _did!_" the Nihilator insisted. "But you told me you couldn't do anything about it without orders from your superior officers, who were too busy focused on petty vengeance than on actually managing the battle!"

"…Oh, right. You did say that, didn't you? Sorry. I forgot," O said apologetically.

"Well, then why didn't you tell us about it? Something like that is kind of important!" Arackaiser said angrily.

"I tried to, but you said, 'Not now, I'm too busy trying to show that hussy-'" O started.

"All right, all right, I get the picture," Arackaiser said testily.

"And, ah, I'm guessing I said roughly ze same zing?" Tarantulas asked uneasily.

"Pretty much, yeah," the Shiftry said.

Tarantulas laughed nervously. "Oh, vow, is my face red…"

"Well, this is awkward…" Arackaiser muttered.

"Heh, totally," Leo chuckled.

Arackaiser ground his teeth angrily. "All right, you've made your point, I…_may_ have let my priorities slip away from me…"

"Gee, you zink?" Tarantulas said sarcastically.

"Oh shut up, you were right up there shouting for her death right alongside me!" Arackaiser snapped. "Anyway, in spite of this setback, we are far from beaten."

Leo raised an eyebrow skeptically. "Far from? Dude, we've got you outnumbered and outgunned. We've destroyed every ship in your fleet, and your prized super-monster just went down in flames. Well, not actual flames, but it crashed pretty hard, so…"

"Maelstrom's been defeated?" Arackaiser cried, startled.

"Yeah, it just happened a second ago," Leo said.

"He's right sir, it did," one of the Nihilators said, replaying the footage from the exterior cameras, showing everyone how the heroes had combined their powers to utterly annihilate the dark bird.

"…Huh. That's…inconvenient…" Arackaiser said uneasily.

"You don't say?" Tarantulas asked sarcastically.

"In spite of that…rather startling loss…I am still far from beaten!" Arackaiser assuaged. "You have us outnumbered, yes, but your friends in the Justice Force are no doubt too exhausted from the long battle to put up much of a fight. Judgment's forces were probably decimated almost as badly as my own were, and what's left stands no chance of even scratching the Arachnoblast. And while the firepower on those ships you've taken from me is indeed formidable, it's still not enough to defeat me, especially since I can see you've taken quite a lot of heavy damage from the long slog here through my fleet. The Arachnoblast, on the other hand, is at full power, and much faster and more maneuverable thanks to shedding its exterior shell. I may not be able to conquer Magic Kingdom with just the Arachnoblast, but it's strong enough to at least eradicate you and your friends from the face of the Earth!"

"Heh, you're pretty sure of yourself, aren't you?" Leo said with a grin. "Why don't you show me what you've got and we'll see whether or not you're just blowing smoke?"

"Gladly! All weapons, full power! Fire everything at those ships, and focus the majority of our firepower on the Titan's ship!" Arackaiser commanded.

Hatches opened up on virtually every square inch of space on the surface of the Arachnoblast's central sphere, revealing thousands of weapons ports bristling with laser cannons, blasters, missile launchers, and all sorts of other experimental weapons that didn't have formal names that were under ten syllables. The weapons powered up, causing the black sphere to turn a vibrant red, and then rockets and energy blasts fired out in every direction, millions of crimson streams streaking out towards the ships.

"This is your end, Titan! While I might not be able to kill you in person, at least I'll have the privilege of witnessing your last moments!" Arackaiser cackled as his ordinance approached the seized vessels.

Leo's smug grin didn't shrink even an iota. "I'm afraid it's gonna be the other way around, actually. Fire the repulsor beams!"

Arackaiser blinked. "Wait, the what now?"  
Invisible waves of force shot out from the ships, meeting the barrage fired from the Arachnoblast to slow and come to a halt right before the Nihilators' stunned eyes. The invisible waves _pushed_, and suddenly the incredibly powerful artillery curved on itself and shot back towards the Arachnoblast. Frantically, the Nihilators raised their shields, which withstood the brunt of the attack, but they had fired so many of their weapons at once that the resulting ordinance was just too much for the shields to handle completely, and eventually the barrage broke through, smashing against the hull of the Arachnoblast, most of which was completely exposed and unarmored due to the robot having opened up every weapons port it possessed to fire at once. As a result, the exposed weapons ports exploded, detonating the ammunitions stores and causing a volatile chain reaction that ripped through the Arachnoblast, destroying almost all of its vital systems, killing eighty percent of the crew, and completely wiping out any offensive capability it had possessed.

Wreathed in flames as its antigravity engines shut down (or rather, blew up catastrophically), the Arachnoblast crashed to the ground hard enough to crater it. Its legs writhed as if in pain, twitching and struggling to scrabble at the dirt, to gain purchase and pull itself back up. It did not get the chance, however, because the engineers of the Enchanted Express, seeing this was their chance to shine again, lunged in for the kill, golden flames blazing around the train as it dove at the legs, smashing through one after another, the weakened limbs yielding to the arcane might of the train's magitek engine, the eight broken legs falling to the ground in pieces in rapid succession as the train systematically dismembered the once-mighty fortress, leaving it a burning, immobile, and completely helpless oversized hunk of metal blighting the desert landscape.

"Haha! We did it again!" the Magneton cheered as the train rose up over the smoldering ruins, tooting its whistle triumphantly.

"Boy, wait'll the guys at the railyard here what we got to do! They'll be so totally jealous of how awesome we are!" the Aron gushed.

"Yeah! Hey, do you think we'll get a bonus for helping to win the battle?" the Magneton asked hopefully.

"We'd better, otherwise I might just crash this thing into the main office and retire, I've earned it after all the crap I've had to put up with on this trip," the Ampharos said. The other two laughed, until they realized she wasn't joking.

"Nnngh…ughaaa…ohhhhh…" Arackaiser moaned as he staggered to his feet. He stared around him in a daze. The control room was an absolute wreck, in far worse shape than it had been when Leo's virus had wrecked it earlier. Consoles had exploded and parts of the ceiling had caved in, killing several Nihilators and leaving their broken corpses strewn across the room. The few who had survived were sitting slumped against the wall or their consoles, groaning and clutching their wounds to try and stop the bleeding. Several sections of the room had burst into flames, and the fire suppression system wasn't working, so there was nothing to stop the blaze from growing in intensity, especially since none of the crew was in any condition to put it out. His head pounded as pretty much every intact computer blared alarms and warning sirens, red lights flashing violently on their screens. Something wet rolled down his face, and he touched it, drawing his leaf away and staring at the crimson substance coating its tip in dull fascination, slowly realizing that it was his blood. "How…how can this be?"

"Because I ROCK, yo!" Leo said from the cracked and staticky main screen, which was now tilted at an angle due to the crash. Actually, the whole room was tilted, no doubt because the gravity stabilizers were offline and it was doubtful that the Arachnoblast had landed completely upright. "I OWNED your ass! Yatta!"

"No…I mean…how did you do that? I never installed repulsors into my ships!" Arackaiser protested.

"You mean…_I_ never installed repulsors into ze ships," Tarantulas groaned as he dragged himself over, the back half of his body flattened by some debris that had fallen on him and a couple of his legs snapped off. There were rents and exposed pieces of circuits all over his body, and robot spiders were scurrying all over the place, doing their best to make repairs and keep their master online.

"Of course you didn't, Spydor, you're a spy, what would you know about battleship design?" Arackaiser said, causing Tarantulas' eye to twitch.

"I know you didn't," Leo said smugly. "Which is why I reversed the polarity on your tractor beams to turn them into repulsor fields, switching their attractive force to a repulsive one! Ha! Who's da mon?"

"…Zat's brilliant!" Tarantulas said in astonishment. "Vhy…vhy didn't I zink of zat?"

"Because you're a spy, not a battleship designer," Arackaiser repeated, causing Tarantulas to gnash his mandibles in frustration. "Well, Titan, somehow I'm not surprised that you would figure out a way to turn even this, my greatest weapon, against me. No matter what, you always seem to find a way to free yourself from my webs and ensnare me in them instead. This is why you are the only hero fit to be called my rival."

"Aw, shucks, you're gonna give me a swelled head!" Leo joked.

"You actually might," Pikachu said, leaning in from offscreen. "Please stop. We have enough trouble with him as is."

"Hey!" Leo said.

"However, I refuse to allow it to end this way. You may have defeated me, but I will have the last laugh!" Arackaiser said as he limped over to one of the consoles and started inputting a series of commands.

Tarantulas blinked stupidly, his head feeling woozy from the loss of blood and oil. "Hey, vait, vhat're you-"

"'Sore Loser' protocol activated. Core meltdown initiated. Total Arachnoblast destruction will commence shortly. All hands abandon ship if you wish to avoid the Abyss for another day," a computerized voice rang from the machine.

Leo raised an eyebrow. "Going for the old 'self-destruct' cliché, huh? What, is a timer going to start counting down to tell me how much time I have left to live?"

"Don't be preposterous, where's the fun in that?" Arackaiser sneered. "Only I know how much time is left…and it's just enough for me to get out of here. If you're as smart as I know you are, you and your friends would best be advised to do the same thing, because when the Arachnoblast goes up, it'll leave a crater so big it'll be visible from orbit."

Leo shook his head. "Overkill much?"

"It's called the 'Sore Loser' protocol for a reason," Arackaiser said smugly.

"You're going to be sore, all right, especially when I put a stop to your plan, just like I always do!" Leo said.

"I have every confidence that if a way to stop the explosion exists, you will find it. It's what you're good at," Arackaiser said. "But in the meantime, I'll be making my getaway. Until next time, Titan."

"Hey! Don't think you're getting away that eas-" Leo started to say, until Arackaiser shut off the communications feed, causing the screen to go dark.

"There, that should buy us some time. Come, Spydor, we'd best get out of here before the Arachnoblast is destroyed. We wouldn't want to get caught in the blast, now would we?" Arackaiser said, briskly limping towards the exit, which miraculously had not been barricaded by falling debris.

"Ve might. It'll be infinitely better zen vhat Herr Shadow vill do ven he gets his hands on us…" Tarantulas muttered unhappily. Even so, he started dragging himself after the deranged Sunflora, leaking vital fluids all the way, in spite of his servitors' best attempts to patch him up.

"Doctor…wait…what about me?" O rasped from where he lay on the ground nearby, barely able to move due to the very severe burns he had received when the machinery he'd been standing next to violently exploded just a few minutes ago.

Tarantulas frowned. "Vat about you?"

"You said…I was your new…best friend…" O wheezed. "Please…help me…"

"Hmm. All right." Tarantulas raised one of his few intact limbs and drove it into O's skull, killing him instantly. "Zere. You died instantly and got a free trip to ze Abyss, razzer zan having to bleed out and wait an indeterminate period of time until ze Arachnoblast blew up and you and everyone else still alive got killed in a horrible explosion. Zat's ze sort of zing best friends do for each ozzer, ja?"

"Spydor! Come on already! Or do you want me to leave you to die?" Arackaiser shouted from the door.

"Coming!" Tarantulas shot a glance back at O's corpse as he scurried after the Sunflora. "Oh, and ven you get to ze Abyss, remind Larry he still owes me twenty Poké!"

"So, it's going to self-destruct. We _do_ have a plan for that, right?" Pikachu asked as Leo typed rapidly on his laptop in the bridge of the ship they'd captured.

"Oh, of course. And the plus of it is that we'll get to keep these ships afterwards, rather than ram them into the Arachnoblast and blow them all up like we originally planned!" Leo said cheerfully as a series of equations scrolled across his screen. He opened up channels to the other ships. "Okay guys, I'm about to transmit this program to your systems. It's linked to my computer, so when I enter the command, don't be surprised if your ships do something without any of you pushing any buttons, okay?"

"I wasn't going to push any buttons anyway, since I have no idea how any of these things work," Sasha said. "Nor can I understand any of their labels."

"Because it's too complex or because you never learned how to read?" Lu asked.

Sasha frowned at her. "Both," she said self-consciously.

"Well, one of those reasons is certainly why I'm not touching anything, either," the Grumpig said.

The Haunter blinked and gave him a surprised look. "I didn't know you were illiterate." The Grumpig facehooved.

"Got it," Looker announced, glancing at his screen. "Hmm, seems workable to me."

"You actually understand all that gibberish?" Bruno asked as he peered over the Croagunk's shoulder, squinting at the lines of coding.

"Of course I do, I'm a detective," Looker said.

"Oh, okay," Bruno said, accepting the answer.

"All right, there's no telling when that thing's gonna blow, so we'd better get everything up and running on our end quickly so we'll be ready," Leo said, typing several commands into his computer. "Aaaaand we begin Operation: 'Containment'….NOW!" He lifted a finger into the air and very, very slowly lowered it towards the keyboard.

"What are you doing?" Pikachu asked.

"Pushing the final key in super slow-motion to make it even more dramatic and ensure that we'll activate my plan at the absolutely very last second," Leo said, still moving his finger slowly. Pikachu's eye twitched. Dawn sighed, walked over, and pushed the key Leo had been aiming for, causing his screen to light up. "Awww, I wanted to do that!" the Squirtle complained, annoyed that Dawn had ruined the moment.

_Then you should have done it right away rather than wasting time,_ she scolded him.

The battleships hummed as they projected walls of invisible force around the Arachnoblast, encircling it in a cylindrical repulsor field that stretched past the cloud barrier and up into the sky, causing the clouds just above the Arachnoblast to part and create a hole through which sunlight streamed through. Several seconds passed, and nothing happened.

"Shouldn't it have blown up by now?" Pikachu asked a few minutes later.

"Huh. Yeah, it should have," Leo said, scratching his head in puzzlement.

_Perhaps Arackaiser was lying about the self-destruct to distract us while he made his escape?_ Dawn suggested.

"That's a possibility," Looker said.

"No, it's going to explode, I can sense it," Sasha said.

"When? Because if this is going to take much longer, I'm going to step out to use the little Ghost's room, I've been holding it in for-" the Gastly porter said just before the Arachnoblast erupted in a blinding explosion that not only drowned out his voice but also ensured he didn't need to use the restroom anymore. Flames of nuclear death roared out from what had just moments ago been a giant robot spider, and would have annihilated all the heroes and everything within a hundred miles if it wasn't being funneled upwards by the repulsor fields the stolen Nihilator ships had generated around it, diverting the lethal blast up and away from the battlefield and launching it past the atmosphere and into space, where it would (probably) hurt nobody.

As the flames streaked through the rainclouds and rose higher and higher, a dark form appeared within the pillar of destruction and abruptly burst out from the side and into the open air, flames licking its surface as it flew away from the controlled explosion at subsonic speeds. "Vell, zat vas a bust," Tarantulas commented miserably as he looked out the window of the spider-shaped jet he and Arackaiser were flying in at the fiery pillar receding into the distance, part of him wishing the heat shielding on their escape craft hadn't held as well as it had. "Ve took like a few hundred battleships, a giant robot spider, ze legendary birds, and enough firepower to destroy a small country and wipe out part of a large one, and ve only managed to kill _one_ of zem!"

"One is better than none, my dear Spydor," Arackaiser said calmly as he poured himself a drink from the in-flight bar. Tarantulas narrowed his eyes as he noticed which bottle his assistant was using; it was the good stuff, which he'd strictly forbidden Chobin from ever touching. "So long as we're alive and free and one of them is not, it isn't a total loss."

"Zen you'll be ze one to explain to Oblivion's Shadow how ve managed to fuck up so badly," Tarantulas moaned, putting his head in his claws, processor overheating as all the possible ways the Shadow could punish him for this failure flashed through his mind. Oblivion's Shadow had said he might show lenience depending on how well Tarantulas conducted himself in the battle, but considering how poorly he'd acted near the end—as well as his failure to keep Chobin's latest delusions under control—the mad scientist had no illusions as to receiving anything like mercy from the leader of the Nihilators.

Arackaiser frowned. "There's that name again…why do you keep bringing him up? And why did those Judgment buffoons seem to think that he's eviler than I am? I'm getting rather tired of these shenanigans of yours, Spydor!"

Tarantulas' head shot up, mechanical eye glowing angrily. "_My_ shenanigans? You're tired of MY shenanigans? Okay, listen up and listen good Mr. 'Arackaiser,' because you and I need to have a little talk about ze difference betveen fantasy and reality-"

"Is that a helicopter being piloted by a hideously deformed Chimchar smoking a cigar with a pair of hideously deformed Meditite carrying bazookas dangling from its underside?" Arackaiser interrupted.

"Okay, zere, see, zat's _exactly_ vat I'm talking about…vait, vhy are you looking out ze vindow behind me?" Tarantulas asked, pausing in mid-rant.

"Because there's a helicopter being piloted by a hideously deformed Chimchar smoking a cigar with a pair of hideously deformed Meditite carrying bazookas dangling from its underside just outside," Arackaiser said, a dumbfounded look on his face.

Tarantulas blinked. Very slowly, he turned around and stared out the window. He blinked again. He stared some more. Finally, he said, "You're right, zere _is_ a helicopter being piloted by a hideously deformed Chimchar smoking a cigar wiz a pair of hideously deformed Meditite carrying bazookas dangling from its underside just outside."

"Yeeeeeeehaaaaaw!" Sergeant Blip whooped around his cigar as he piloted his helicopter alongside the escape jet, his flying machine having no problem keeping up with and matching the spider-shaped vehicle's subsonic speed. "The Rubber Pants Commandoes ride again! Ain't no Eldritch Abomination bad enough to keep a group of bad mofos like us down, isn't that right, boys?"

"Yip, yip, yip!" the babies hooted.

"Now, why don't we kick off our grand return by squashing us a big ugly spider with another even uglier spider inside of it along with a deranged sunflower who thinks he's a spider?" Blip said, pressing a button and causing hatches to open all over the helicopter, revealing missile launchers, gatling guns, machine guns, submachine guns, micromachine guns, macromachine guns, megamachine guns, biomachine guns, guns that fired machines, flaming machine guns, buzzsaw launchers, flaming buzzsaw launchers, acid sprayers, flaming acid sprayers, firestorm missile launchers, flaming firestorm missile launchers, chili pepper launchers, flaming chili pepper launchers, needle guns, flaming needle guns, harpoon launchers, torpedo launchers, harpoon torpedo launchers, flaming harpoon torpedo launchers, flamethrowers, flaming flamethrowers, chainsaw launchers, flaming chainsaw launchers, shuriken launchers, flaming shuriken launchers, oversized crossbows, flaming oversized crossbows, a catapult that threw exploding tanks, a catapult that threw the kind of tanks that drove on land and had big turrets on top, a gun that shot nails, nails that shot guns, guns that shot nails that shot guns, and a cigar lighter. The babies threw away their bazookas, reached into their diapers, and pulled out even BIGGER blasters that couldn't possibly have fit in their underwear.

Tarantulas and Arackaiser stared incredulously. "…What," Tarantulas said flatly.

"Huh," Arackaiser said. "That's new, even for me."

"Yippee-ki-yay, motherfuckers!" Sergeant Blip cried, pressing the 'Fire' button and blasting the spider jet with every single one of his myriad weapons at once, as below him the babies added their oversized blasters to the fray.

"Oh, shit!" Arackaiser swore.

"Vell, looks like ve von't have to vorry about Oblivion's Shadow after all, because ve're going to die now!" Tarantulas said cheerfully.

Arackaiser stared at him. "…There is something seriously wrong with you, Spydor."

Tarantulas snorted. "Oh, zat's rich, coming from you!"

Arackaiser frowned. "And what exactly is that supposed to-"

Any answer Tarantulas had been about to give was lost when the helicopter's fusillade struck the jet, causing a huge explosion. Several of the leg-shaped wings and most of the fuselage were destroyed instantly on impact, and the jet did a nosedive out of the sky, smoke and flames trailing behind it as it fell beneath the clouds and disappeared. "Oo-rah! Nice shooting, boys!" Sergeant Blip whooped, pumping a fist in the air. "Mission accomplished! Let's head back to base and get a round of drinks, on me!"

"Phtpppbbt," one of the babies phtpppbbted.

"What's that? You think we should go down there and make sure they're actually dead? Not in the mission objective, we were just supposed to shoot 'em down, never said anything about killing 'em," Blip said.

"Waaaaaaaah!" the other baby cried.

"Yes, I know that all but guarantees they survived the crash!" Blip said. "That's not our problem. It only becomes our problem if the Commissioner calls us up and says it is. And since that hasn't happened yet, we're home free to go home and be free and stuff. In the meantime, I'm fairly certain Sam and Max or those other dopes they were hanging out with can handle those guys without us, they didn't look particularly tough. Wouldn't last a week on the mean streets back home. This whole dimension's full of pussies."

"Blblblblblb," One of the babies said, running its finger over its lips repeatedly.

"No, I don't love you," Blip said bluntly. The baby sulked. The chimpanzee pushed a button on his dashboard. With a sound much like a fart, the fabric of space and time ripped open behind the helicopter, revealing a chartreuse void filled with polka dots, pyramids that had eyes on them, and dancing Sam lookalikes wearing golden biker shorts. Blip pulled a lever and the helicopter flew backwards into the rift, red lights flashing on its tail as it made the same sound a truck makes when backing up. Once it was fully inside the rift, the crack in reality closed with the sound of a hundred inebriated and overhung cabaret dancers saying, "Whoa," at the same time.

Down below the clouds, the relatively normaler Leo whooped and pumped his fist in the air as the flames from the explosion slowly died down, the pillar receding and petering out, leaving a very black, very deep hole in the ground in its place. "Yatta! We totally managed to contain that explosion and keep it from killing everyone! We rock!"

"We certainly do, at that," Pikachu said in bemusement. "Nice work, Leo."

Leo smirked. "Heh, thanks, but I couldn't have done it on my own! Well, technically I _did_ do it on my own, since I wrote the formula for the repulsor/shield combo myself and slaved all the computers together so every ship projected it at once so I didn't have to rely on the others to handle it and potentially screw it up, but I couldn't have done _that_ if everyone else hadn't taken those ships in the first place, so-"

Pikachu gave him an annoyed look. "Okay, okay, I get the idea."

_Do you suppose that killed them? I did not notice any escape craft flying from the Arachnoblast before it exploded,_ Dawn said.

"I'm sure that that was the last we'll ever see of them!" Leo said dramatically.

Dawn gave him a surprised look. _Really?_

"No, but I had to say that to absolutely _guarantee_ that they survived, since everyone knows that whenever you're almost absolutely certain somebody died, unless you actually watched them take their last breath in person—and sometimes, not even then—the person you think is dead is always, _always_ still alive," Leo said.

"…Leo, we _want_ them to be dead," Pikachu said after a long moment.

"Well yeah, so do I, but let's face it, they're bad guys, and everyone knows the bad guys pretty much always survive what would be an absolutely certain death for any regular Pokémon and even a few heroes, so in all likelihood they would have survived anyway," Leo said. "I was just taking the ambiguity out of it."

Pikachu's eye twitched. "…Right. Whatever. We defeated them, and that's all that matters. The Nihilator fleet is toast. We won. So let's go rejoin Ash and the others so we can finish any remaining loose ends and finally, _finally_ go to Fichina."

"'Kay," Leo said, inputting the coordinates for where they had seen Ash and Lugia land into the helm. The ship rumbled and slowly turned around, setting its course for the crater where the legendary birds had fallen from grace. (Well, not literally, they'd done that centuries ago, but you know what I mean.)

_What about those Judgment Pokémon? Should we not deal with them too?_ Dawn asked.

Pikachu considered this. "Well…on the one paw, they _are_ bad guys. On the other paw, they were fighting the Nihilators too, and from what Ritchie said, while they're evil, they're rather less so than the Nihilators…then again, evil is evil…"

"Yeah, but they're Team Getem's enemies, not ours," Leo said. "We don't want to mess with their turf, do we?"

"They had no problem fighting the Nihilators with us, though," Pikachu pointed out. "So they probably wouldn't mind us taking out some of their enemies for them."

"Probably not, but…come on, just look at those guys! Don't you feel sorry for them?" Leo asked, pointing at the image of the battered and maimed Scorponok on his monitor. "Just look at the poor thing! How could you possibly want to kill something so sad?"

"Leo, if the Nihilators hadn't gotten here first we'd have had to fight that thing instead," Pikachu pointed out.

"Yeah, but that didn't stop us from saving it earlier," Leo said.

"We weren't doing that to save them, we were doing it to cripple the Arachnoblast," Pikachu retorted.

Leo raised an eyebrow. "Uh-huh, and we just happened to do so right in the nick of time to save the lives of the guys on that robot?"

"That was the engineers' doing, not ours," Pikachu said. "They removed the legs, not us, remember? You'd have to take it up with them."

Leo frowned. "So what, you're saying if they _hadn't_ gotten there first, we would have just let Arackaiser kill those guys? I thought samurais were supposed to protect people!"

"_Innocent_ people. We're supposed to kill the evil ones," Pikachu said.

"So if one bad guy's getting a beat-down from another bad guy, you're saying you'd let it happen, just because the victim is evil too?" Leo asked skeptically.

Pikachu hesitated. "…Well…no, I suppose not…"

"Then you _would_ have saved those guys if the train hadn't gotten to them first!" Leo said triumphantly.

"Yeah, I guess so," Pikachu admitted.

"Which is why we can't turn around and kill them now, because that's kind of hypocritical, isn't it?" Leo argued. "Why bother saving them if we're just going to kill them ourselves?"

Pikachu sighed unhappily. "I…suppose, but…if we let them go, they may cause trouble down the line, if not for us, then for our new friends in Team Getem. After all they've done to help us out in the last couple of days, would it be fair to do that to them?"

Leo frowned. "Well…no, I guess not. Huh. This is kind of a tough one, huh? To do what's morally right, or to do what's logical? A classic hero's dilemma…"

_One which seems to have resolved itself while the two of you were debating,_ Dawn said drily. _They're leaving._

"Wait, what? Really?" Pikachu asked in surprise.

Dawn pointed at the monitor. _See for yourselves._

They did. As they watched the footage from the exterior cameras, they saw the Judgment tanks and other vehicles—those that hadn't been destroyed during the fight, or crushed when the battleships they'd been trading fire with had crashed on top of them—sprout drills and start burrowing underground and out of sight. The Scorponok, due to its massive size and severe damage, took the longest to disappear, the last thing they saw of it the severed end of its tail flailing about before it was dragged down beneath the earth.

"Huh. Guess that settles that, then," Pikachu said, unsure whether to feel disappointed or relieved. He supposed he felt a little of both.

Leo scowled. "Awww, they're leaving already? And without even giving us a thank-you? Pssh, maybe you were right Pikachu, and we _should_ have killed 'em. Who needs a buncha ungrateful jerks like that around, right?" Pikachu and Dawn sweatdropped.

A few minutes earlier…

"Incredible…how did they do that?" Silverbolt whispered in astonishment as they watched the Arachnoblast explode, but rather than rushing out to consume them all the blast was channeled up into the skies and away from them.

"A combination of repulsor field technology and energy shield projection…brilliant! I can't believe I didn't think of that!" said the astounded Blackarachnia. "And they managed to use it not only to defeat that monster, but to keep its death throes from killing us all…whichever Pokémon on those ships came up with that plan must be one of the most brilliant strategists of our time!"

"He or she must be, to have not only taken over those ships and defeated the Arachnoblast, but to also have taken out the rest of the Nihilator fleet on the way here…though I'm sure our forces helped thin the herd a bit," Rhinox said.

Silverbolt glanced up at Blackarachnia. "Shall we engage them, my love?"

Blackarachnia frowned, tapping her talons together. "Rhinox, what's our status?"

Rhinox checked his handheld. "Well, you know how before our condition was 'very, very, _very_ bad?"

"Yes," Blackarachnia said.

"Well, I think we can remove one of those 'verys.' But only one," Rhinox said.

Blackarachnia sighed. "Yeah, that's what I was afraid of. What about our troops?"

"About one third of our forces still remain," Rhinox said.

Blackarachnia's eyes widened in astonishment. "What? How'd we lose so many?"

"Well, they were ground-based units engaging airborne adversaries. The Nihilators had the advantage of superior positioning, even if we had them beat in numbers," Rhinox said. "Additonally, we lost a rather sizable number of soldiers due to…well…many of them failing to realize that when you knock an airship out of the sky, it's got to land somewhere—like, say, on _them_—until it was too late."

"And let me guess, a lot of those who _did_ realize it didn't care because they figured it'd be the fastest way to glory in the Celestial Heavens?" Blackarachnia asked deadpan.

"Er…quite possibly, yes," Rhinox admitted Mareepishly.

Blackarachnia groaned and massaged her temples, while Silverbolt whimpered and nuzzled her to try and cheer her up. It wasn't working. "Oy…that's more names for the Hall, and more letters to grieving families because too many idiots bought into the Sages' rhetoric and figured they'd take the easy way out rather than staying and slogging it out for the long haul like the rest of those _truly_ devoted to the cause."

"I'm sure they were devoted, too," Rhinox said defensively.

"They figured killing themselves to get into Heaven would be easier than staying and helping us to establish a living paradise on Earth. Does that sound like a true devotee to you?" Blackarachnia asked acerbically. Rhinox grimaced but said nothing.

"So…do we fight, or not?" Silverbolt asked, gently pushing her back on subject.

Blackarachnia shook her head. "We do not. If the number of wrecks lying about the desert when we got here are anything to go by, whoever Team Getem's managed to ally themselves with is so strong they were able to take out a huge chunk of the Nihilator fleet before we showed up. Not only that, they were able to defeat that giant bird…thing, and have Lugia on their side. A literal _god._ Not even we have an actual legendary Pokémon on our side, and we're the ones doing Arceus' will! While I might have been tempted to give it a go if we had more soldiers remaining or the Scorponok weren't in such a bad shape…as it is, I don't think we stand a chance against them in our current state. I'm not even one hundred percent positive we would have stood a chance if we were at full power. Engaging them as we are now, with only a third of our forces left and the Scorponok almost completely useless, is nothing short of suicide, and as I've said before, suicide is pointless if it's doubtful we're going to be able to further the cause by doing so, and I don't think our deaths would help us collect the Plates. After all, if we die, who's going to bring them back to Light of Justice?" Silverbolt and several of the other bridge crew nodded in agreement, clearly feeling similarly. "So we're going home. The Sages will be pissed, but they always are, and at least we managed to kill or contribute to the deaths of some sinners who were _very_ high up the list of Pokémon in need of judgment, so at least the mission wasn't a total waste, right?"

Rhinox bowed his head. "If that is your wish, milady. A full retreat, it is." Both he and Blackarachnia pretended not to notice the relieved and gratified looks on everyone's faces as the crew prepped the Scorponok for submersion.

_You got off easy this time, Getem,_ Blackarachnia mused, glancing at the image of her organization's greatest foes as they and their unknown allies began landing around the crater the monster bird had formed when it hit the ground. _We'll meet again another day…and hopefully, there won't be any Nihilators or other Pokémon around to stop us from taking the Plates that rightfully belong to us!_

"Well, there they go," Sam commented from Outlaw's shoulder on the deck of Leo's stolen battleship as they watched the Judgment forces dig underground and out of sight. "Another loose end wrapped up!"

"_**Cowards. I wanted to fight that giant scorpion, it reminded me of Scorponok back home,"**_ Outlaw commented.

"You have giant robot scorpions back on Cybertron, too?" George asked.

"_**We have giant robot **_**everythings**_** back on Cybertron!**_**!"**Outlaw said proudly.

Sam nodded. "She's right, they do. They even have transforming vending machine robots up there. And toilets."

Outlaw shuddered. _**"We don't like to talk about those…"**_

"You sure you would've wanted to tussle with that thing? I mean, granted, it looked like it was in pretty rough shape, but…it was still pretty big," George pointed out.

"_**I could have taken it!"**_ Outlaw insisted.

"Yes, but why? Don't you already have enough trophies? I mean, there's that," George said, pointing at the Robo-Groudon head Outlaw had one foot planted on top of. "And there's the Arachnoblast head, assuming it didn't get crushed during all the fighting."

"_**You can never have enough trophies!" **_Outlaw insisted. _**"How else am I to prove my worth in combat? Nobody will believe the stories of my battles without evidence to back them up!"**_

"Aren't most of those stories at least two-thirds fabricated anyway?" Sam asked.

"_**Details,"**_ Outlaw said dismissively.

"Well, if it's that big a deal, maybe you can grab some piece of those evil birds and claim you killed them, too," Sam suggested.

"Sam, she can't do that!" George cried in horror.

"_**That's right, I can't," **_Outlaw agreed.

George blinked, surprised that Outlaw was actually agreeing with her for a change, but quickly took advantage of it. "Yes, because it's sacrilegious!"

"_**What? Oh no, it's not that, we do that sort of thing all the time. Defacing gods and religious icons of inferior species, I mean. I meant that there isn't much point in getting a trophy from an organic, since those things are so weak and easy to kill that defeating one in battle is almost completely meaningless and nothing to brag about,"**_ Outlaw said. _**"Destroying a planet or wiping out a species, now **_**that's**_** something to be proud of…but killing a couple of fleshlings? Only rookies make a big deal out of that."**_

"…They aren't puny fleshlings, they're _gods_," George said, shocked.

"_**So? Our god is bigger. And made of metal. That automatically makes him superior to your weak gods in virtually every way. Well, except that he never **_**does**_** anything…though I guess that might have something to do with the fact that we're basically living on the surface of his body, and if he moved about we'd probably die, so I guess we should be grateful for his laziness or something…"**_ Outlaw said grudgingly, not looking like she was happy with being grateful to anyone for anything.

"Your god is your planet? Yikes. I'm happy mine isn't, it'd be kind of creepy knowing that it might wake up at any moment and destroy everything you know by accident," said a disturbed George, blissfully unaware of how wrong she was.

"That's how most people back home feel about Max," Sam said cheerfully. "Which is why we drug his dinner so that he sleeps for as long as possible at night before waking up and deciding that he wants to change the calendar again."

"…Ah," George said faintly.

"_**We need to find Max, don't we?"**_ Outlaw asked with a frown.

"Well, once this hullaballoo is over with we can start doing just that," Sam said.

Outlaw grinned. _**"Excellent! That insolent sorceress will pay for taking Max from us! I shall crush her weak sorcery beneath my superior Cybertronian technology!"**_

"And if that doesn't work, I'll shoot at her a lot," Sam said. "Or snark at her until she gets irritated and reveals a way I can defeat her using a series of seemingly unrelated items and conveniently placed architectural features."

"_**I always think its funny when you do that, though I've never been able to pull the same thing off myself," **_Outlaw complained. _**"I can't fit in most buildings on Earth without causing them to collapse when I stand up—which is funny because it kills lots of people when the ceiling falls on them, but its not quite as entertaining as the victories you manage to pull off—and on Cybertron, I'm usually too busy shooting or ripping off limbs to have time to think up something clever like that."**_

"It's probably for the best, that kind of a win is too nonviolent for your liking anyway," Sam said.

"_**That's true, but it **_**is**_** funny! And occasionally gory, which is even funnier!"**_ Outlaw said happily.

"…Right. Um…hey, what do you suppose they're up to?" George asked in an attempt to change the subject, noticing that Ash and Lugia had landed at the rim of the crater the legendary birds had formed upon crashing and were walking down to the limp forms of the trio.

"_**Ooh, maybe they're going to administer the finishing blow! I hope there's lots of blood involved,"**_ Outlaw said eagerly, zooming her remaining optic in to get a better look at the scene. Her excited look quickly turned to annoyance, however. _**"Awww, they're just talking! And unless my facial recognition software is wrong, they aren't taunting or gloating or bragging or anything like that! Lame!"**_

"Talking? Hmm…I wonder what they have to say to each other?" Sam asked.

To find out the answer to that, we'll have to rewind time back a minute or so, to just after Ash and Lugia landed at the crater's edge. As the Lucario slipped off of Lugia's back and nimbly landed beside the silver god, he frowned as he took in the sight of the bird trio. They were in about as bad a shape as he had expected, all of the wounds they had received during the battle and in their merged form finally taking their toll now that they no longer had their immortality and godhood to protect them. Their wings were splayed at odd and painful-looking angles, their legs were bent and broken, shattered bones were sticking out of their flesh, loose feathers were scattered all about, and blood soaked almost every inch of their forms, coating the blackened ground they were lying on.

There was something else, too, something odd, something so unusual that for a moment Ash thought it was a trick of the light, which was streaming through a hole in the clouds that had opened up right above them, the sun's rays bathing the defeated birds and making every gruesome detail of their broken forms perfectly clear in the noontime sun. (Noon? Had they really only been fighting for a few hours? It felt as if it had been so much longer…months, maybe even half a year!) It looked as if they were…fading away, their forms gradually turning transparent, the bloody ground they were lying on becoming more and more visible through their bodies as motes of light rose from them and gently vanished beneath the sun's glory. "What's happening to them?" Ash asked.

"They are dying," Lugia said solemnly.

Ash frowned. "I've seen your kind die before, and it didn't look like this."

"Death is…a tricky thing for gods," Lugia said. "It doesn't usually 'take' for us the same way it does for most mortals. Sometimes we aren't truly 'dead,' just…sleeping. Other times our physical forms are no longer suitable, so our eternal spirits cast them off and form new ones. Still other times, we are all but gone from the world, but can be restored by the hopes and wishes of the people who believe in and depend on us. For all intents and purposes, our kind can never truly die, just…become not alive for a little while."

"But that's not what's happening to them," Ash said. It was not a question.

Lugia shook his head. "It is not. As I said, for all intents and purposes, our kind can never truly die, but…sometimes we can. Sometimes we _must_. And when that happens, there is no afterlife, no reincarnation, and no hope for resurrection. We just…cease to be."

Ash struggled for a few minutes to understand this. The concept was more than a little disturbing. "They…they're going to disappear completely? Nothing of them left? Not…not even a soul?"

"Well, not _nothing_," Lugia admitted. "As far as I know, a soul can never truly be destroyed, though I might be wrong. What will happen is they…they will return to the Source. To Arceus."

Ash blinked. "Arceus?"

"While Mew crafts the souls of all things as Her role as the Holy Mother, Arceus is the Source from which the…_material_ souls are made of springs. The Source of everything, really, that is or was or could be. All matter and energy are formed from Him. He is the spoke upon which the wheel that is the Omniverse turns. And when something is completely and utterly destroyed to the point that it can never be remade, it is to Him that it returns. The minds, the memories, the…_essence_ of everything that made the legendary birds who they were will be absorbed into Him. They shall continue existing, in a sense…but only as a part of Arceus, and not as individuals." He looked down at Ash. "For some, this would be considered the ultimate religious experience…to become one with all, to achieve total communion with Arceus. To others it is the most terrifying thing possible, absolute death, the ultimate cessation of individual existence."

"…" Ash was speechless for a moment. "That's…that's just…" He shook his head, lost for words.

"A difficult concept to grasp? I know. It's not something I like to dwell on too much. It frightens me, as it should." He tilted his head, regarding Ash thoughtfully. "The legendary birds have committed countless transgressions, Ash, aside from the ones you were aware of in your own lifetime. Both of them, rather. Do you believe that they deserve this fate?"

"…I'm not sure," Ash said after a moment. He had to really think about it. He had wanted retribution for what they'd done to his friends, but…was this too far?

Lugia stared at Ash for a long moment before nodding slightly. "An acceptable answer."

Ash frowned. "Is it?"

"If you had told me straight out you didn't think they deserved it…while such forgiveness is admirable in most cases, here it might indicate that you lack the capability to make the truly hard decisions which you may have to in the future," Lugia said. "Your uncertainty shows your awareness that justice must be dealt…but at the same time, your compassion and ability to empathize with your enemy grounds you, and keeps you from thinking of them as nothing but inPokémon monsters, which is unfair to both you and to them and would only lead you to places heroes should never tread. Your ability to feel both shows that you have a proper awareness of right and wrong, as well as an understanding of what the consequences of such knowledge must sometimes be."

"…Okay. But what if I'd said that I _did_ think they deserved it?" Ash asked.

Lugia closed his eyes. "…Then I would know there was no hope for you." A chill ran down Ash's spine at these words. Lugia looked away and started down the slope to the bottom of the crater. "Come. Before these three fade completely, there are words I would have with them."

"O-okay," Ash said, still frozen on the spot from Lugia's last statement. While it was true he wasn't sure how he felt about the birds' fate, that didn't change the fact that…that part of him enjoyed seeing their broken bodies on the ground, that he'd exulted in delivering those punishing blows to their merged and separate forms. Was he really so close to the point of no return?

"That's going to be you someday, you know," a familiar voice whispered in his ear, and Ash didn't need to turn around—nay, he dared not—to know that Misty was behind him. Not the Misty he knew and loved, but the _thing_ from his nightmare, the shambling corpse who whispered hate and despair in the honeyed tones of a lover. "They were once great and bright and glorious, and then they fell…just as you are great and bright and glorious, and already beginning to fall. And you know what happens to monsters, Ash. They get put down. You've done it yourself more than once, haven't you?"

"That's not going to happen to me," Ash whispered.

"Oh?" Misty said, her mouth so close to his face that her rancid breath blew the fur on his cheek and stung his sensitive nose, causing him to gag. "And why do you think that?"

"Because, I have friends-" Ash started.

She laughed, and the fact that it sounded so much like the laugh of the Misty he knew made him want to retch, hearing it from this abomination's lips. "Friends? Don't make me laugh. They did too, once upon a time. Lugia was their best friend, remember? And not even he could stop their fall. He was forced to become their jailer, then their executioner…with help from you, of course. How long do you think it will be until your friends will have to take up the same role? They're already thinking about it. You _know_ Briney will do it, he's said as much many times. It's only a matter of time before they come to see his way of thinking as the darkness grows unchecked. They'll find all sorts of ways of justifying it, saying that it's for your own good, that you're not really Ash anymore, that this is what you wanted…

"And then, inevitably, the ones you care about most will put you down like a rabid Lillipup. Oh, they'll cry and moan and feel sorry for themselves, but that won't change the fact that they're alive, you'll be dead, _and it's all their fault._"

"That won't happen!" Ash repeated, clenching his fists.

"They have to. They know it even if they don't accept it yet, just like you know it but _won't_ accept it. It's only a matter of time before you lose control and hurt one of them, maybe even _kill_ them. Which will it be? Pikachu, for shocking you for the millionth time because you said something stupid or overslept again? Leo, for getting on your nerves with his nerdgasms for the umpteenth time? Tiny, for being such a whiny, clingy brat? Sasha for keeping Arceus knows how many secrets from you and being such a constant doomsayer? Lily, when her helpless self-esteemless victim act gets old? Briney, for constantly sticking his nose in your head without permission? Dawn, for always speaking in those damn clicks and taps because her voice doesn't work?" Misty cooed.

"I would _never_-" Ash started, bristling with rage.

"_Don't you dare finish that sentence, Ash Ketchum!"_ Misty snarled. Ash froze, and started trembling without knowing why. "You did. You have. And you will again."

"I…what? I don't know-" Ash stammered.

"Oh, but you do, except you're too much of a coward to admit it. That's fine, Ash. Just go ahead and keep lying to yourself like a good little boy," Misty purred, patting his head patronizingly and causing Ash's skin to crawl as he felt her decayed flesh on his fur. "You'll realize the truth eventually. The truth always comes out sooner or later. _And it will destroy you._" She laughed humorlessly. "And then your friends really will have no choice but to kill you…only, by then? I'm not sure you'll be capable of dying."

"I-I-" Ash stammered.

"Ash!" Lugia called, causing the Lucario to yelp and jump into the air. "What are you doing? Get down here!"

"R-right, sorry!" Ash said, quickly rushing down the slope, fighting every urge to turn around, because he was certain that if he did so he would either see absolutely nothing…or something that would destroy him completely.

Assuming he wasn't already, that was. "Don't forget, Ash, in the end it's going to be you or them," Misty's voice sang to him over the wind as he ran from her. "They can't live safely so long as you exist. Sooner or later, they _will_ turn on you. And I know who _I'm_ rooting for when that happens…"

Lugia frowned in concern when Ash reached him. The hero was pale and short of breath, and there was a look of terror in his eyes. "Ash, what's wrong?" he asked. "You look as if you got scared by a Ghost-type."

"I-it's nothing," Ash said. "Just the wind."

Lugia frowned. He could sense something was wrong with Ash—heck, he didn't even need to be a telepath to know that!—but wasn't sure what to do about it. He could easily peer into Ash's mind to see, but since they were no longer fighting together it was somewhat inappropriate to do so without permission. He did not want to be like Captain Briney. He supposed he could ask, but it didn't look as if Ash was in the mood to discuss it right now…and for that matter, they didn't really have time to deal with it at the moment, since there were things he needed to talk to the legendary birds about before they disappeared forever. He resolved he would pursue the matter later, when time was no longer of the essence. "I know you're lying, but now is not the time for us to talk about it," Lugia said as Ash flushed. "We'll discuss it later. For now, there are more pressing and immediate problems to concern ourselves with."

"Such as…?" Ash asked.

Rather than answering him, Lugia turned to the birds, which were more see-through than they had been a minute ago. It didn't look like there was much time left before they faded away completely. "Articuno. Zapdos. Moltres. Can you hear me?"

The three stirred, moaning in pain. Articuno cracked one bloodshot eye open and glared balefully at them. "Oh, it's _you,_" the icebird snarled venomously.

"What…what do you want now?" Zapdos asked miserably. "Here to gloat? To shove in our faces how better than us you are? To pat yourselves on the back for vanquishing such an evil and terrible foe by ganging up on it, ripping out its hearts, and beating it up until it couldn't fight anymore?"

"Haven't you done enough to us already?" Moltres pleaded. "Why can't you just leave us alone? It's bad enough that you've killed us, can't you at least let us die in peace?"

"I would be happy to," Lugia said calmly. "But before I do, there are a few things I need you to tell me."

"Tell you?" Zapdos laughed raggedly. "Oh, sure, we'd _love_ to tell you just how much we hate your guts, or all the ways Oblivion's Shadow's going to brutally kill you, or-"

"Enough!" Lugia snapped, shutting Zapdos up. "We only have minutes left in which to do this, and I will need every second of it to say what I must."

"…You realize that gives us incentive not to cooperate, don't you?" Articuno sneered.

Lugia's eyes flashed, and their beaks slammed shut. As they grunted and wiggled their heads about, trying to get their mouths open again, Lugia took a deep breath, calmed himself, and began talking. "The four of us have been at odds for millennia. A mutual dislike, even hatred, has existed between us for so long it almost seems as if it has always been that way. But I know that once this was not so, and I hope that you do too. At the dawn of time, before the Crisis Wars and the Ruler of Evil changed everything, the four of us were friends. The _best_ of friends. You were my trusted companions, whom I cared for and relied on like no other, and I know that you felt the same way towards me."

He sighed. "But then the war came, and the atrocities you witnessed and experienced drove you mad, as it did so many others. Even though we won and the Ruler of Evil and all the evil gods were sealed away, your innocence was lost, and something precious within you had been destroyed, seemingly for good. I could do nothing but watch as my best friends twisted and grew dark inside, the madness warping you into grotesque caricatures of the dear companions I once knew. I tried my hardest to help you become like you were before…but despite my best efforts, and that of others of our kind, we could not restore you to the way you once were. There were moments of clarity, brief periods of time that sometimes lasted for years where you showed promise, and seemed to be regaining what you lost…only for you to backslide yet again, and be worse than ever." He shook his head sadly. "In time, just about everyone gave up on you…even me, which is something I think I shall always regret. Out of the memory of our friendship, I chose to watch over you, to try my best to guide you back to the right path…and, when it became clear that was no longer possible, to protect others from your growing depravities. I gave up a great deal tending to you. I even missed the birth of my son…"

Ash looked at Lugia in surprise. "I didn't know that."

"It is irrelevant," Lugia said gruffly, not looking at him. "Despite my best efforts, you just sank deeper and deeper into depravity…until finally, you crossed the line for the last time and brought the fate you are now suffering upon yourselves. But…" He closed his eyes. "I cannot help but wonder if this is not at least partially my fault. If I failed you by not trying hard enough, or by giving up when you needed me most. If I was too much of a warden, and not enough of a friend. If this is the case, then I am truly, deeply sorry."

"…Lugia…" Ash whispered.

"That is not all, however, that I have to say," Lugia said, opening his eyes again and fixing the birds with a serious look. "Due to your actions—and, perhaps, my failures—you are about to die completely and utterly, to be removed entirely from the Omniverse. You will become one with Arceus, and cease to be anything more. As a god, I understand the necessity of this. As a friend, I…regret it immensely. What I would regret more, however…is if your last moments of life, your final minutes as individuals, would be as the heartless fiends you have degenerated into. In spite of everything that has happened between us, I do not want you to die as monsters. That is why I am asking you…no, _begging _you…if there is any shred of good left in you, any part of you that remembers and yearns for the times that came before as much as I do…please, for your sakes as well as mine, in the memory of the friendship we once shared, _please_...let your final acts in this world be of kindness, rather than villainy. Let me know that some part of you, no matter how small, can be redeemed. Let me…let me know…" He squeezed his eyes shut and paused to take several deep breaths. "Let me know where my wife and son are…"

The glow around their beaks faded as Lugia released his telekinetic hold over them. Ash stared at the deity in astonishment, and then glanced back and forth between Lugia and the birds several times, wondering what the trio would do. The birds, equally stunned, looked at each other in amazement, then at Lugia, then at each other again. Finally, Zapdos opened his beak, took a deep breath…

And spat in Lugia's face. Ash flinched, although Lugia did not. "Fuck you," Zapdos snarled, eyes brimming with hate. "Fuck. _You._"

"For thousands of years you keep a tight leash on us and wouldn't let us do what we wanted. When our sentence was passed, you barely lifted a finger to protest, despite being our so-called _friend._ You've killed us and condemned us to a fate that's literally worse than death, and you have the _gall_ to ask us to _help _you?" Articuno asked shrilly.

"Eat shit and die. We won't tell you anything," Moltres hissed. "You might as well just kill yourself now, because if you go looking for them I can promise you won't like what you find. Take the easy way out and save Oblivion's Shadow the trouble by blowing your smug self-righteous arrogant brains out."

"You might as well, because if you don't, the Shadow will do it for you," Articuno said.

"In fact…hey, if you're _really_ such a good friend, why don't you lean on down and let one of us peck your eyes out? Then we can at least die _happy_."

"And that's the sort of thing good friends do, right, _buddy?_" Zapdos taunted. They laughed acerbically, though they had to stop because they started coughing up blood.

Ash glanced at Lugia and shivered, taking a few steps back due to the waves of barely-contained rage that were boiling off the god's sleek form. Slowly, Lugia reached up with one hand and brushed the electrically-charged saliva off his face. "Well," he said quietly. "I tried. Nobody can say that I didn't. I gave you a chance. Now we will have to do things the hard way."

His eyes flashed a blazing red, and suddenly the birds were screaming, their broken bodies twitching spastically, causing blood and shed feathers to fly everywhere as the rate at which they were disintegrating sped up rapidly. "Lugia!" Ash cried in horror. "What are you doing?"

"Getting what I need to know," Lugia said coldly, a snarl on his face. After a few moments the light in his eyes faded and the birds collapsed to the ground, their bodies shaking with coughs as they vomited blood and shed more and more particles by the second. "We are done here. Come, Ash. It's time to go."

"R-right," Ash said nervously, awed and more than a little terrified. Lugia started up the slope of the crater. Glancing anxiously back at the dying birds, Ash quickly followed.

"Don't…don't you…don't you dare turn your backs on us, Lugia!" Articuno cried.

"The Ruler…the Ruler of Evil…will devour your souls…and then you'll wish we _had_ killed you!" Zapdos gasped.

"Hey Lugia…when you _do_ find your wife…tell her I said hi, will ya?" Moltres cackled.

Lugia paused for only a second before his eyes flashed again. There was a loud crack, and suddenly Moltres' head collapsed to the ground, her neck at an odd angle. What was left of her body exploded in a shower of light particles which flew upwards and disappeared. Zapdos was next to disappear, laughing madly as the last of him faded away. Only Articuno remained, and there was just enough of her left to offer one last parting shot: "Hey, Ash…the only thing I regret other than that I didn't get to kill you myself…is that I won't get to watch what'll happen when the Ruler of Evil is through with you…because whatever it's capable of, I'm betting it's a million times worse than what the Shadow will do! Ha…haha…hahahahahaha! Ahahahahaha-" Her laughter was cut off as she burst into light too, and disappeared. Above, the clouds rumbled and slowly ceased their rainfall, dissipating bit by bit and allowing sunlight to shine down on the desert plain once again, indicating through hamfisted symbolism that the battle was over.

"Hmmph. Good riddance," Lugia growled. He hadn't even bothered to look back to watch their last moments.

"…I thought they were your friends," Ash said softly.

"They were," Lugia said grimly. "But that was a long time ago…clearly more for them than for me."

"Will your friends say the same thing when the time comes for them to turn on you, as it inevitably will?" Misty's voice whispered into Ash's ears, her breath brushing the hairs on the back of his neck.

Ash bit his lip to keep in the protest he had been about to make, not wanting to have a…episode or whatever in front of Lugia, and changed the subject. "…So…your family…where-"

"They are being held at the Nihilator headquarters," Lugia said.

"Oh!" Ash said, although he didn't find himself that surprised. It made a lot of sense, really, given that they would probably be high-priority prisoners. "Then I guess it's a good thing you already decided to come with us, huh? Since that's our next stop and all, after Fichina." The look on Lugia's face darkened. Ash frowned. "…There's something else, isn't there?"

Lugia closed his eyes. "They turned my wife into a Shadow Pokémon much like myself."

Ash's heart skipped a beat. "…I'll purify her. I promise," Ash said after a moment. "Just like I did to you."

Lugia nodded gratefully. "I know you will, Ash. But…" He squeezed his eyes shut and ground his teeth.

"What? What is it? What else did they do to her?" Ash cried, correctly guessing the root of Lugia's anguish.

"…The birds were there for every step of her…conversion. They even…participated. And afterwards, when she was no longer capable of offering any form of resistance, they…used her. Repeatedly," Lugia said quietly.

Ash stumbled and nearly lost his footing, only saving his balance by driving the butt of his staff into the ground to catch himself. "I'm…I'm sorry," he said, already knowing it was inadequate but not knowing what else to say. Any lingering sympathy he might have had for the birds vanished just as quickly as the avians themselves had.

"I know. Thank you," Lugia said.

"And…and Silver?" Ash asked.

Lugia closed his eyes despondently. "He is the prisoner of Oblivion's Shadow."

Ash's gut clenched at this news. "Is…is he a Shadow, too?"

"Thankfully, no," Lugia said, much to Ash's relief. "Although he's several hundred years old, Silver is still too young and weak to be a useful weapon, even if he is a god."

"That's good," Ash said.

"Yes, except that instead Oblivion's Shadow is running all sorts of experiments on him so horrible the birds didn't even know what they are on him to try and better understand the nature of divinity," Lugia said miserably. "A young god like Silver can provide a researcher like the Shadow with…quite a lot of informative data…"

Ash had to fight down his gag reflex, the very thought of innocent young (ish) Silver in the claws of a monster like the Shadow too awful to contemplate. J_ust like Gardevoir and Cresselia and Arceus knows how many others…_ Ash thought furiously. _How many more of my friends is that bastard going to take from me?_ The familiar hatred began to surge up inside him, and he had to struggle to keep it down. He glanced at his paws, relieved that no telltale black Aura had appeared. "We'll get him for this," Ash promised, his voice low and gravelly from his internal struggles. "He already has a lot to answer for. This is just one more thing on the pile."

"Indeed it is," Lugia said solemnly. "I am glad that I do not have to do this alone, though. From what I recall, he is one of the most powerful beings I have ever encountered…and he has grown even _stronger_ than the days in which he was known as Lord Null."

Ash shook his head. "It doesn't matter. The birds were powerful, even more so when they combined…but they didn't stand a chance with all of us working against it. No matter how strong he is, we can beat him. Together."

That at last earned a smile from Lugia. "I would have it no other way."

As they crested the edge of the crater, the sight Ash found waiting for him on the other side warmed his weary heart and caused his present worries and frustrations to melt away, at least for the time being. As the noonday sun bore down on them, the desert already heating back up after all the weird weather it had suffered through for the last few hours, the ships Leo and the others had commandeered hovered overhead, providing much-needed shade for the Pokémon resting near the crater. The numerous cars of the Enchanted Express had driven down out of the sky or left the bridges of the ships they had crashed into and reunited to form the magical train once more, the train's battle armor having retracted since it was no longer needed. The exterior of the dining car had opened up, unfolding on invisible hinges that caused the sides to transform into red-carpeted steps allowing access to the luscious buffet tables that had been set up in short order by the train's staff to accommodate the passengers and warriors, who were now lounging about either at the tables inside the car or having a makeshift picnic on the ground outside, eating and talking and recuperating from the long and exhausting battle.

Numerous scenes of relative tranquility and relaxation were spread out before Ash's eyes. Outlaw and the chief engineer were arguing about which engine was better, the Decepticon's or the train's, while Sam munched obliviously on some popsicles and George tried to pretend she didn't know any of them. Bruno was in a strength competition with Ritchie which mainly seemed to consist of how many of the train's staff they could lift without breaking a sweat. Currently, they were tied. Looker wandered about surreptitiously, taking notes and keeping his eyes peeled for…something. Pikachu and Sparky were swapping tales about how frustrating their teammates were and comparing swords while Lu and Dawn were sparring to see which fighting style was better; assassin or ninja, with Palmer as a referee. Leo was bragging about his exploits to Zippo, who hung on every word with awe and jealousy clear on his face, while Rose tried unsuccessfully to pull him away to spend some private time with her. Lily was giving Leo furtive looks while doing her best to pay attention to the discussion on magic she was having with Fantina and Bow. Butler and Diane were watching their charges in between feeding each other lunch and flirting. Silvia was lecturing Goldor about his diet in between admonishing Buck about how he needed to remember to chew before swallowing and not to take such large portions, much to the exasperation of the two males. Happy and Sasha were having a spirited talk about how little they understood the civilized world and how much they missed their families back home. Briney and Salty were bickering and trying to outdo each other with stories of badassery, like old sailors are wont to do. Tiny and Cruise were arguing about which of their fathers was the greatest. Dean and Bob were eating food that had been generously slathered in blood by themselves with wistful looks on their faces. Rebecca was doing her best to keep Bitey from eating the entire buffet so that there'd still be enough left for everyone else. Todd flitted about, taking lots of pictures and occasionally getting in people's faces to get good shots of 'authentic bonding and camaraderie,' much to everyone else's annoyance. Cherry sat back and watched everyone else's interactions in solitude with a bemused smile and a look of serene triumph on her face, as if everything had gone exactly as planned…which, to be fair, it had, albeit with a few hiccups here and there.

Oh, and Brodie was staring out the window of the compartment he was locked up in with envy and desperation on his face as he watched everyone eating, wondering when somebody would remember to feed him. But we don't care about him, do we?

A fond smile stretched across Ash's face as he took it all in, how after everything they had all been through over the last couple of days they were all still able to hang out and have fun together in the wake of a battle so massive that its aftereffects were literally strewn all around them, changing the landscape of the region forever. "Wonderful, is it not?" Lugia asked, snapping Ash out of his reverie. "It is moments like these that we fight for, that makes everything we go through worth it in the end, don't you think?"

"Yeah," Ash said softly. He paused, noticing that Lugia wasn't smiling like he was. It only took a moment for him to realize what the problem was. "Hey. Don't worry. They'll be there for the next big post-battle get-together, okay? I promise we'll make it happen."

Lugia smiled gratefully. "Thank you, Ash. I will hold you to that."

It was then that one of the Pokémon below noticed Ash and Lugia. A cry went out, and suddenly everyone's heads were turned to look at the duo. Ash took a step back in surprise, unnerved by having so many eyes focused on him.

He was even more unnerved when they all burst into applause, cheering and clapping and shouting his name. "Wh-whoa…"

"It seems you have made quite an impression on them," Lugia said in amusement.

"Hey, it's not like I could have done it alone!" Ash said defensively.

"Perhaps, perhaps not. I had believed initially that you were indeed meant to fulfill this task alone," Lugia confessed. "However, in retrospect that may not have been the wisest idea. After all…even though you are indeed the Chosen One, a hero should be measured not by the prophecies about him, but by the strength of his allies. That, I believe, may be your true power, Ash: to draw others to you, to bind them together into a force capable of taking on just about anything the world can throw at them. It is how you created Team Aurabolt, and how you were able to turn a group of passengers and other Pokémon riding a train that otherwise might have had little in common with each other into a group capable of taking down a Nihilator fleet of such size and power most armies would have crumbled in the attempt to do the same feat. Aura is a significant part of the life force that binds all things in this world together, so it is only fitting that one who can control and manipulate Aura be able to form ties strong enough to stand up to almost any threat. It is this power, I think, that _truly_ makes you the Chosen One…for your ability to unite many into one. You have done it today against the Nihilators…and I have every confidence that you will do so again when the time finally comes to take the fight to them, and to the dark power that they seek to revive."

Ash considered this, thinking back to all the other friends and allies he had made during the journey so far. How they had managed to befriend the dragon Tiama and convince Leo's village to take custody of her children. How they had bonded with Michael to save the Caretakers. How they had worked together with numerous fighters—even a few they had been enemies with before!-at Battlus to defeat Ford's sinister plans. How they had helped Master Yamiri battle Brodie, and convinced Lily to switch sides. How they had convinced a crew of undead pirates led by the vilest captain to ever sail the seven seas to not only help them defeat Manaphy, but _made them into their subordinates_.

And that was just on this adventure! How many friends had he made in his old life, both among humans and Pokémon, which might otherwise have had nothing to do with each other if not for the simple fact that they had met him and joined him on his travels? How many of his adventures would have failed were it not for them, and how would their lives have been different if they had never met him? It was both a humbling and awe-inspiring thought. "You know, I think you might have a point about that," Ash marveled.

His friends rushed over, while those who were too tired (or apathetic) remained behind in the shade. "DADDY!" Tiny screamed, tackling Ash so hard he nearly fell over backwards into the crater.

"Oh, Ash!" Lily cried in relief, tackling him as well.

"That was so totally awesome!" Leo shouted, monly tears streaming down his face as he glomped Ash's leg. Everyone stared at him. "What? A guy can't hug his friend?"

"Uh, no, no, it's fine," Pikachu said.

"Nothing wrong with it," Sasha agreed.

"Gaaaaay," Briney drawled. Everyone glared at him. He didn't care.

"Ash…are you all right?" Pikachu asked in concern as Ash managed to shake the others off of him, except for Tiny, who refused to leave his side. "From what I've heard, you went through quite a lot up there."

"Yeah, more than we did," Leo complained.

…_You know, most people would be happy about that,_ Dawn said.

"Meh," Leo said.

"Oh please, I went through worse!" Briney scoffed. "I lost my arm and my mustache!" They looked at his arm and mustache, which were conspicuously intact. "They got better, okay?" he said defensively.

Ash grinned and bent down to hug his brother, not caring what anyone who saw it might think. "Yeah. I'm fine. And I'm glad that you all are, too!" Everyone smiled at this.

"So are we, Ash. So are we," Pikachu said, returning his brother's embrace.

"Awwww," Leo said, wiping away a tear.

"Mmph," Briney grunted, unmoved.

"Ash, my disaster-sense has gone almost silent. I take it to mean that the fight is over?" Sasha asked. "That we've won?"

"Yeah, is it over?" Leo asked. "Did we beat the birds and save the day?"

Ash looked at his friends gathered around him, with eager and expectant looks on their faces. He looked at his other friends and allies standing a respectful distance away, to allow him to reunite with his team. He looked at Dean and Bob, standing in the shade, envious and sorrowful looks at their faces. He looked at the countless wrecks of battleships lying around them, at the scarred and broken landscape that might never fully heal from the battle that had been waged there this day. He looked to the skies, thinking of how much more there was to come, of the remaining Nihilators and Oblivion's Shadow and the Ruler of Evil and the darkness inside of him.

There was so much left for them to do. How could they possibly think this was over?

He looked back at his closest friends, at the utter exhaustion on their faces and bodies, the way it looked like most of them were only keeping themselves from collapsing through sheer force of will and possibly too much caffeine from the buffet…and took note of the pride in how they held themselves, the look of triumph and determination on their faces. Ash didn't doubt that, if Tarantulas or some other bad guy were to show up out of the blue with another crazy giant robot or whatever, they wouldn't hesitate to leap into action…and what's more, they would _win._

And he smiled.

"Yeah," he said as he hugged his teammates, ignoring any protests, which he knew weren't as vehement as they sounded. "Yeah. We won."

"_They will betray you one day,"_ Misty whispered in his ear.

Maybe. But that day was not today. Today was _their_ day. And he intended to enjoy it to his fullest. "And now that we've won," he said as he reluctantly let go of his friends and stood up. "It's time for us to finish what we set out on this trip to do."

"To Fichina, then?" Pikachu asked.

Ash shook his head. "Not yet. First we need to make a memorial for Vladimir. He gave his unlife to save one of us, forsaking his mission to protect a friend. He deserves to be remembered." Dean and Bob's heads shot up at that, startled and hopeful looks on their faces. "But after that? Yes. We go to Fichina."

"To Fichina!" Lily said excitedly.

"TO FICHINA!" everyone else cheered.

Ash's stomach growled. "Can it wait until after lunch, though? I'm _starving!_"

They laughed, and set out to do just that, eating and healing and recovering their strength from the massive and extremely taxing battle they'd just endured as the sun shone warmly down on them all, and it seemed, despite everything they still had left to do, and the loss of one of their own, that for one wonderful moment, all was right in the world.

…

Some time later, elsewhere in the desert…

The first thing Chobin smelled upon waking up was burnt vegetation and bacon. The first thing he saw when he opened his eyes was the scarred and massively burnt figure of Viers looming over him, his darkened form blotting out the sun at his back. "Hello, Viers!" Chobin said cheerfully, wondering vaguely why every bit of his body was hurting. It wasn't like he wasn't used to that sensation, but usually he remembered what the cause of that was. Curiously, he couldn't remember much of anything about how he'd gotten to…wherever he was now. The last thing he could recall was seeing the face of that blue Squirtle on the control room's main screen, and an intense feeling of anger, and then…and then…

And then he was there. Chobin wasn't too bothered by this, though. Large gaps in his memory were also something he was accustomed to due to his dying and getting cloned back to life all the time, and he was sure the Doctor could fill him in on what he'd missed like he usually did. Hmm…speaking of which, where was the Doctor, anyway?

"I am not Viers," the Emboar in front of Chobin said, derailing his train of thought. This didn't bother Chobin too much either, his train of thought got derailed all the time, usually by crashing into another train. And exploding. Violently. "I am Zhu Bajie!"

Chobin blinked as he took out a spare pair of glasses and put them on, wondering as he did so what had happened to the last pair and why he had a vague recollection of wearing a monocle recently. "Really? That is being very strange, because you who are Zhu Bajie looks almost exactly like Chobin's bestest best friend forever and ever named Viers."

"I used to be Viers," Zhu Bajie admitted. "But then my name was changed to Zhu Bajie."

"Changed? By whom? Zhu Bajie is a stupid name that is stupid!" Chobin said, offended.

"Er…you did, Lord Arackaiser," Zhu Bajie said.

Chobin gave Zhu Bajie a confused look. "Arackaiser? Silly Emboar, Chobin is not Arackaiser! Well, technically Chobin _is_ Arackaiser, but only when online, or when Chobin is having a Leo DeKappa-induced psychotic breakdown that triggers Chobin's split personality that is being named Arackaiser to take over. But that is not happening now, so Chobin is Chobin, not Arackaiser."

"Oh," Zhu Bajie said.

"And Chobin is saying that Zhu Bajie is a stupid name that is stupid, so you are changing it back to Viers, which is also a stupid name that is stupid but less so than Zhu Bajie," Chobin commanded.

The renamed Viers scratched his head in confusion then decided to just go with it. "Yes, Lord Chobin."

"Good! Now, where are we and where is meaniepants Doctor who is Chobin's bestest friend who is not quite as best as Viers but still very good all the same?" Chobin asked, looking around and noticing they appeared to be in a desert filled with scrapheaps resembling downed Nihilator battleships as well as some much smaller white tanks that bore unfamiliar markings. Craters and chasms were all over the place, and in quite a few places the sand had been fused into glass and broken.

"In Shimmer Desert," Viers reported. "We lost the battle and the fleet was completely destroyed because they were weak and not me, who is not weak but the strongest Nihilator of them all. As far as I can tell, everyone else except for us is dead, which would be surprising considering that I was trapped in an exploding giant robot and flung through the air at speeds and impacts that would kill most Pokémon, except that I am Zhu—er, Viers, mightiest of all the Nihilators, and so I was able to survive. Because I was thrown so far away, I missed out on the rest of the battle, and had to walk back, and I found you trapped in that wrecked jet over there," he said, pointing to a crashed plane nearby resembling a spider. "I pulled you out because Lord Doctor Tarantulas ordered me to protect you before, so that is what I did, because it is what Lord Doctor Tarantulas ordered me to do. That and I planned to eat you if you were dead."

"Are you going to eat Chobin now?" Chobin asked with genuine curiosity but no fear.

"No, because you are alive, and are not dead, which means I must protect you, since Lord Doctor Tarantulas ordered me to," Viers said.

"Oh," Chobin said, somewhat disappointed. "Well, can Chobin eat _you_?"

"No," Viers said. "If you ate me, how could I protect you, as Lord Doctor Tarantulas ordered me to?"

"You would be filling Chobin's belly and keeping Chobin from starving from not having anything to eat," Chobin said.

Viers considered this for a moment. "That is true, but what if one of these wrecks were to collapse on you or you were to fall into a crater or crack or a wild Pokémon attacked or those meddlesome heroes found you and I was not there to protect you because you had eaten me? You would die, because I was not there to protect you, because you had eaten me, and so you would be dead, and I would have failed Lord Doctor Tarantulas's orders."

"Hmm…that is being true," Chobin said reluctantly. "Oh well, maybe Chobin can eat a wild desert Pokémon. Chobin has always wanted to eat a wild desert Pokémon. Chobin has always wondered what wild desert Pokémon taste like."

"Tough and dry and stringy," Viers said knowledgeably.

"Oh," Chobin said in disappointment.

"But with proper seasoning from a Maractus flower with a dash of Drapion venom and some leg of Hippopotas on the side, it becomes more palatable," Viers reported.

"Good! Let us go find some Maractus flowers, then!" Chobin said eagerly.

"Maractus are not indigenous to this region," Viers said.

"Oh," Chobin said, face falling.

"Cacturne milk is an acceptable substitute, though, even if it does have a tendency to cause those who drink it to hallucinate," Viers added.

"That is being okay, Chobin sees things all the time, to the point where it is impossible to distinguish where the hallucinations end and the reality begins!" Chobin said cheerfully. "Let's go find…wait. There is something Chobin is forgetting. Something very important…Viers, was any of Chobin's stuff in that crash?"

"No," said Viers.

"Not even that superfun ball of funness that was fun to roll in?" Chobin whined.

"No," said Viers. "You broke it earlier."

"Awww, poop. Oh well, let us go find something to eat, then. We can give the Doctor an extra dose of Cacturne milk to see if it overloads his poison filters and drives him insaner." Chobin gasped and smacked his forehead. "That's right, the Doctor! There's a new episode of Doctor What tonight and Chobin is not sure if he remembered to set the recorder! Oh, the Doctor will be so angry if Chobin forgot to set the recorder! Doctor Tarantulas, Chobin's bestest friend who is not quite as best as Viers but still very good all the same, that is, not _the_ Doctor, who is so awesome that even though he is good and Chobin is not, Chobin _still_ gets wet at the thought of riding around in his TARDIS, which is smaller on the outside than it is on the inside, like Chobin's penis!"

"…I do not think that makes sense," Viers said after a moment, perplexed.

"Neither does the show, but the fans don't seem to care about that. Ba-dum ching!" Chobin cried.

"Why were you making that noise with your mouth just now?" Viers asked.

"We were not having any drums for Chobin to hit the rim and head of using a drumstick to provide a rimshot to punctuate the punchline of a joke, so Chobin made the sound of hitting the rim and head of a drum using a drumstick with Chobin's mouth instead to provide a sound like a rimshot to punctuate the punchline of a joke," Chobin explained.

"Ah," Viers said, not understanding in the slightest.

"Quick, we need to get back to base before the show starts in…um…what time is it?" Chobin asked.

"I do not know," Viers said. "I never learned to tell time. It always hurts my eyes to try and read the hands of an analog watch, and the numbers on digital watches mock me. I DO NOT LIKE BEING MOCKED! I MOCK OTHERS! IT IS WHAT I DO! BECAUSE I AM BIGGER AND STRONGER THAN THEM! SO I AM NOT THE ONE WHO IS MOCKED! SO DO NOT MOCK ME! BECAUSE I DO NOT LIKE BEING MOCKED!" he shouted without really knowing why.

Chobin panicked. "Ack! Then we are needing to getting backing to basing beforeing it ising tooing lating!"

"Okay," Viers said. There was a pause. He glanced around and looked inquiringly at Chobin. "Um…which way is the base?"

"…Chobin has no idea!" Chobin screamed, starting to hyperventilate. He slapped himself a few times, trying to calm himself down. "Okay Chobin, relax, it's not that big a problem…of course it's that big a problem! Bigger, even, and bigger than that, and biggerer than that! We're lost and we're going to miss the show!"

"Maybe the Doctor knows how to get home?" Viers suggested.

"Viers, the Doctor is a fictional character who is imaginary and nonexistent! Chobin is astonished that Chobin of all people needs to make someone else aware of this, considering how tenuous his grasp on reality is already!" Chobin yelled.

"The Doctor is a fictional character who is imaginary and nonexistent? But he ordered me to protect you," said the confused Viers. "If he is a fictional character who is imaginary and nonexistent…then who have I been obeying all this time?"

Chobin stared at Viers and blinked. "…Oh. Ohhhhh! Chobin gets it, you were meaning Doctor Tarantulas, Chobin's bestest friend who is not quite as best as Viers but still very good all the same, not _the_ Doctor, who is so awesome that even though he is good and Chobin is not, Chobin _still_ gets wet at the thought of riding around in his TARDIS, which is smaller on the outside than it is on the inside, like Chobin's penis!"

"Yes," Viers said, having no idea what Chobin was talking about. "So…does that mean Lord Doctor Tarantulas is not a fictional character?"

Chobin laughed. "Don't be ridiculous! If Doctor Tarantulas were a fictional character who is imaginary and nonexistent, why, that would mean all of _us_ would have to be fictional characters who are imaginary and nonexistent too!"

Viers' eyes widened in horror. "…How do you know we are _not_ fictional characters who are imaginary and nonexistent?"

"Because, silly, we…" Chobin paused. "Huh. That's a really good question." He considered this for a moment. "We'll have to ask the Doctor, maybe he would know."

"The Doctor who is not a fictional character who is imaginary and nonexistent, or the Doctor who _is_ a fictional character who is imaginary and nonexistent?" Viers asked. "Unless BOTH are fictional characters who are imaginary and nonexistent…"

"Well, if _both_ Doctors were fictional characters who were imaginary and nonexistent, meaning _we_ were fictional characters who were imaginary and nonexistent, then either of them could tell us if we were fictional characters who were imaginary and nonexistent," Chobin reasoned.

"But if we were already fictional characters who were imaginary and nonexistent, why would we need a Doctor who is a fictional character who is imaginary and nonexistent to tell us if we are fictional characters who were imaginary and nonexistent?" Viers asked.

"Because otherwise, how would we know we were fictional characters who are imaginary and nonexistent?" Chobin said.

"…Ohhhhh," Viers said, finally understanding, only not really.

"Right! So let's go find the Doctor and ask him!" Chobin decided, clapping his leaves together decisively. "Where is he?"

"Which one?" Viers asked.

"Which what?" Chobin asked.

"Which Doctor?" Viers asked.

"Well, Chobin is partial to the current Eleventh Doctor himself. Matt Smitt does an especially good job at the role, and while he has moments of angst they aren't nearly as pronounced or exasperating as when David Tendurant played the part and kept moping about how alone he was or how much he missed that hot Rose chick Chobin would have banged in a second but he didn't for some reason until it was too late," Chobin said.

Viers scratched his head in confusion. "I thought Lord Doctor Tarantulas' name was Tomaru Tarantulas, not Matt Smitt or David Tendurant."

Chobin blinked. "Huh? Ohhhh, you meant _our_ Doctor, not _the_ Doctor!"

"Yes," Viers said.

"Well, you should have been saying so in the first place!" Chobin scolded, rolling his eyes. "Now, where is he?"

"Doctor Tarantulas?" Viers asked, just to be sure he didn't mean some other Doctor.

"Yes, him! Where is he?" Chobin asked, looking around. "He had to be in the same jet as Chobin, there's no way he would ever have let Chobin anywhere near the controls if he weren't there to supervise!"

"He is right here," Viers said, extending a meaty paw and revealing Doctor Tarantulas' severed head, looking heavily battered and dented, with the mechanical eye cracked, his horn and one of his fangs broken off, and loose wires hanging from the back of his skull.

Chobin screamed in horror and lunged forward, ripping Tarantulas' head from Viers' clutches. "DOCTOR! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He burst into tears, sobbing inconsolably. "Nooooo! Doctor, you cannot be dead! Chobin is the one who dies! And then you clone Chobin back to life! And then Chobin dies! And then you clone Chobin back to life! And then Chobin dies! And then you clone Chobin back to life! And then Chobin dies! And then you clone Chobin back to life! And then Chobin dies! And then you clone Chobin back to life! And then Chobin dies! And then you clone Chobin back to life! And then Chobin dies! And then you clone Chobin back to life! And then Chobin dies! And then you clone Chobin back to life! And then Chobin dies! And then you clone Chobin back to life! And then Chobin dies! And then you clone Chobin back to life! And then Chobin dies! And then you clone Chobin back to life! And then Chobin dies! And then you clone Chobin back to life! And then Chobin dies! And then you clone Chobin back to life! And then Chobin dies! And then you clone Chobin back to life! And then Chobin dies! And then you clone Chobin back to life! And then Chobin dies! And then you clone Chobin back to life! And then Chobin dies! And then you clone Chobin back to life! And then Chobin dies! And then you clone Chobin back to life! And then Chobin dies! And then you clone Chobin back to life! And then Chobin dies! And then you clone Chobin back to life! And then Chobin dies! And then you clone Chobin back to life! And then Chobin dies! And then you clone Chobin back to life! And then Chobin dies! And then you clone Chobin back to life! And then Chobin dies! And then you clone Chobin back to life! And then Chobin dies! And then you clone Chobin back to life! And then Chobin dies! And then you clone Chobin back to life! And then Chobin dies! And then you clone Chobin back to life! And then Chobin dies! And then you clone Chobin back to life! And then Chobin dies! And then you clone Chobin back to life! And then Chobin dies! And then you clone Chobin back to life! And…" Chobin blinked in confusion. "Chobin was forgetting where he was going with this…where was Chobin? Oh, yes, NOOOOOOOO!"

He rammed his head against Tarantulas' metal skull repeatedly, weeping and moaning. "How is Chobin supposed to live without the Doctor? Chobin can't do anything on Chobin's own! Chobin even drowned in the toilet fifteen times, and only seven of those times it was on purpose! Without the Doctor, Chobin will die…again! This time for real! Since only Doctor can clone Chobin, and without Doctor, Chobin cannot clone himself, so Chobin will die for real because the Doctor is dead and cannot clone Chobin!"

He fell on his rear and wailed to the heavens. "Oh, why, why, whyyyyyy did this have to ha-ha-ha-happen? You were too beautiful and evil for this imperfect world!" He kissed Tarantulas' head and reverently put it on the ground. "Without you, Doctor, life has no meaning for Chobin…not even sex will be as good without you there to yell at Chobin to stop humping the corpses or raping the test subjects! That was at least half the fun of _doing_ it!" He cast his glasses away, a determined look on his face. "There is only one thing left for Chobin to do now…if Chobin cannot exist in a world without the Doctor, then Chobin shall follow the Doctor into the Abyss! Chobin shall give up his own life to be with the Doctor for all eternity!" He turned to the Emboar. "Viers! With Doctor dead, your orders no longer stand! Kill me, so that I may join the Doctor in the Abyss!"

"Okay," Viers said, reaching forward.

"Chobin!"

"Ah, I can already hear Doctor's angry voice admonishing Chobin now," Chobin said, a beatific smile on his face as tears streamed from his closed eyes and Viers' hands wrapped around his neck. "It is like the tortured screams of our experiments to Chobin's ears! Oh, how Chobin longs to hear that voice again! Hurry, Viers, kill Chobin before Chobin does it to himself in a far messier and gorier manner! Actually, hold that thought, don't kill Chobin so Chobin can kill himself in a far messier and gorier manner!"

"Okay," Viers said, letting go of Chobin's neck.

"Chobin!"

"Don't worry, Doctor, Chobin is coming!" Chobin cried, grabbing a piece of shrapnel from the ground and preparing to drive it into his eye.

"Chobin!"

"Will you stop interrupting Chobin already, Chobin is trying to kill himself so Chobin can be with you!" Chobin snapped in exasperation at Tarantulas' severed head. "Yeesh, Chobin is starting to wonder why Chobin is so desperate to rejoin you if you're just going to keep yelling at Chobin so much!"

"Oh, for ze love of…Chobin, I'M NOT DEAD!" Tarantulas' severed head shouted.

Chobin blinked. "You're not?"

"NO!" Tarantulas yelled.

"Oh! Why did you not say so in the first place?" Chobin said, tossing the fragment away. "Chobin very nearly put his eye out, which would have hurt! Actually, now Chobin is wondering why he didn't do that, it sounds like fun." He reached for the shrapnel.

"Chobin, put zat zing down zis instant, ve have more important zings to do zan satisfy your suicidal tendencies!" Tarantulas commanded.

"Ugh, fine," Chobin said, rolling his eyes and kicking the metal away. "Chobin is starting to wonder why Chobin missed you so much in the first place."

"Ze feeling is mutual," Tarantulas grumbled.

Chobin picked up Tarantulas' head and examined it curiously. "So, how is Doctor not being dead? Usually taking off someone's head kills them. Chobin knows from experience, Chobin has done it to himself on more than one occasion!"

"I'm a cyborg, you idiot!" Tarantulas pointed out. "Nearly all of my body vas a machine already, vat few organic parts vere left vere mostly irrelevant to my continued functionality. I vill miss ze legs, zough…"

"Oooh, Chobin gets it," Chobin said. He frowned. "Waaaait, but if you're just a head, how can you be talking?"

"Viz my mouzh? How else vould I be able to talk, you nincompoop!" Tarantulas yelled.

"No, Chobin means…you don't have any lungs. How are you drawing breath to breathe and talk and shout at Chobin?" Chobin asked as he turned Tarantulas' head over and over, as if looking for any lungs he had somehow missed during his initial inspection.

"I…um…I dunno, a voice synzezizer or somezing?" Tarantulas said hesitantly, surprised to realize he wasn't sure himself. "And could you please stop flipping me over? I'm starting to get dizzy!"

"Oh, fine, though Chobin doesn't know what the problem is, Chobin likes getting dizzy all the time," Chobin grumbled, reluctantly righting the head and turning it to face him. "How did Doctor get like this? Where did your body go? Did you lose it? That happened to Chobin once."

"Yes, I recall, and a very frustrating experience zat vas for everyone involved, too," Tarantulas grunted. "My body got trapped under several tons of debris in ze crash. Ven Viers rescued you, he tried to pull me out too, but ripped off my head instead."

"Sorry," Viers said apologetically.

"Vell, to be fair, most of my body vas already irreparably damaged by ze crash, but still! You could have been a bit more careful!" Tarantulas admonished the ashamed Viers.

"What were we doing in a crashed jet in the first place? The last thing Chobin remembers is…blueness…and a word…a word that Chobin hates with every fiber of his being…" Chobin said, drifting off.

"Yatta?" Viers suggested.

"NEVER SAY THAT WORD AROUND CHOBIN!" Chobin screamed, hurling Tarantulas' head at Viers.

The arachnid's head bounced off of Viers' chest and hit the ground, doing no damage to the Emboar but hurting Tarantulas quite a bit. "Ow! Dammit, Chobin, don't _do_ zat!"

"Oh! Sorry, Doctor," Chobin apologized.

"Ugh! You had better be…hmm, so you don't remember vat happened? Just like ze last time…" Tarantulas murmured. "Vell, ze gist of it is zat upon seeing your rival, young Leo DeKappa, your Arackaiser persona arose from ze depz of your subconscious, taking over your mind and causing you to zink you vere a video game character…again."

"Oooh! Did you record it? Chobin wants to watch himself turn into Arackaiser! He sounds like such a totally awesome guy!" Chobin said eagerly. "And Chobin should know, since Chobin made Arackaiser in the first place! And Chobin _is_ Arackaiser! Which means Chobin is a totally awesome guy—something everyone knows—but he is being even more totally awesomer when he becomes Arackaiser!"

"…Right," Tarantulas said slowly. "You took control of ze Arachnoblast and ze fleet from me, renamed Viers to Zhu Bajie and sent him out to kill Leo in ze Robo-Groudon Mk II, fused ze legendary birds into a super-monster using my brilliant Combininator ray vhich vas perfect already and vas not improved in any vay shape or form by your tinkering, and battled a giant robot scorpion piloted by religious extremists zat showed up out of ze blue and seemed to believe zat Bellum vas eviler zan me for some reason."

"Really? That's so cool!" Chobin gushed.

"Zat zey zought Bellum vas eviler zan me?" Tarantulas cried, looking betrayed.

"What? No! That is a stupid idea that is stupid because it is stupid! Chobin meant all the other stuff," Chobin said.

"Oh. Vell…yeah, looking back, I guess it vas pretty cool," Tarantulas admitted.

"So what happened? Did Arackaiser win?" Chobin asked eagerly.

Tarantulas stared at Chobin. "…Chobin, does it _look_ like ve von?"

Chobin glanced around, at the broken landscape and shattered hulks of fallen Nihilator ships. "…Maybe?"

Tarantulas tried to facepalm, only to remember he was just a disembodied head, which naturally was incapable of it. He scowled. "No, Chobin, ve _didn't_ vin!"

"Oh," Chobin said, pouting. He brightened. "Was it Chobin's fault?"

Tarantulas opened his mouth to say that yes, in fact, it was…and paused. "Vell…to be honest, as much as I'd like to say it vas, I'm at least partially to blame as vell," Tarantulas admitted. "I let my pride get ze better of me, so allowed myself to be distracted by zose imbeciles who seemed to zink Bellum is eviler zan me razzer zan taking care of our _real_ enemies." He sighed. "And now, because of it, ve have failed completely and utterly and Oblivion's Shadow vill punish us most horribly."

"Hooray!" Chobin cheered.

"Chobin, zat's _bad_," Tarantulas said.

"Oh. Hooray!" Chobin cheered. Tarantulas sighed.

"What do we do?" Viers asked.

"Vhat _can_ ve do? Ve have no choice but to go back and accept our punishment," Tarantulas said unhappily.

"We could fake our deaths and take up new identities so Oblivion's Shadow will not know who we are because we have different names and faces and possibly genders," Chobin suggested. He gasped, getting an idea. "We could join the circus! Viers could be the strong mon, Doctor could be a sideshow attraction, and Chobin could be a clown!" He squealed with delight and slapped his leaves to his cheeks. "Chobin has always wanted to be a clown…so he can terrify and molest children to his heart's delight!"

"You do zat already," Tarantulas said.

"Yes, but not as a _clown!_" Chobin pointed out.

Tarantulas sighed. "As vonderful as it vould be to vaste my vast intellect being gawked at by hillbillies and snot-nosed brats for ze rest of my life, it vould never vork. Zey'd find us no matter vhere ve vent or how far ve ran, mostly because zere's a tracking chip in my brain zat you can't remove vizout killing me. And before you even _zink_ about smashing or abandoning me, remember zat ze two of you vouldn't last a day vizout me considering you don't have a single brain cell to share betveen ze two of you!"

"He's right, we don't," Viers said gravely.

Chobin scowled. "Oh, fine, we'll go back to meaniepants Oblivion's Shadow and get horribly punished horribly rather than having fun at the circus. Actually, now that Chobin is thinking properly about it, getting horribly punished horribly doesn't sound so bad. How do we get back to base so we can get horribly punished horribly!"

"I zought you'd never ask!" Tarantulas said in relief. "Ve could probably build a distress beacon using ze bountiful materials around us, but it might draw attention from ze wrong people, and besides, it vould probably reflect better on us if ve could get back under our own power. Zat is vhy ve are going to see if ve can modify or repair one of zese ships to get us home. Zere should be at least a few intact shuttles in some of ze wrecks, and if not zere should still be enough parts to build our own. So let's get to it, before a predator comes around to eat us, or Fichina sends out soldiers to make sure ve're really dead!"

Chobin and Viers saluted. "Yes, Doctor!" they both chorused. They turned and started off for the closest wreck…

Leaving Tarantulas' head behind. "Hey! HEY! HEYYYYY! You forgot somezing!" he shouted after them. Neither of them slowed down or turned around. He groaned in exasperation. "Oh for ze love of…vhy couldn't I have gotten someone viz brains, like O? I _liked_ O!" He paused. "Oh, right, because I killed him…still, it's not like he vould have lasted long anyvay, he vas in pretty bad shape as he vas." He sighed. "Vell, I guess I have to vork viz vhat I've got…" He grunted, squeezing his remaining eye shut in concentration. With a pop, eight mechanical spider legs popped out of his sides and lifted him off the ground. "Ah, zat's better!...if a little veird. Now, I'd better go after zose two before zey get zemselves killed, vhich I cannot afford to let happen…if zey do, how'm I supposed to fix a ship to get home like zis?" Grumbling, he scurried after his minions, creating a very odd sight…were anyone around to observe it.

…

Meanwhile, in Pokémon Square…

"Hi, this is Valerie Ogasawara of DNN reporting live from the reception for the highly anticipated wedding of General Shinobu and Miss Missy as well as several other couples from Pokémon Square," a pretty Kirlia wearing a shimmering white and green dress said cheerfully to her cameramon, standing in what looked remarkably like deep space with dozens of Pokémon in military uniforms and fancy dresses mingling and dancing behind her. "And yes, I _am_ in Pokémon Square, or rather, the fields just outside of it, where the reception is being held. Don't be fooled by the background, it's just an illusion created by one of the newlyweds, Zorra Nogitsune, to make this already magnificent occasion even more spectacular! I'd heard Zoroark were skilled illusionists, but let me tell you, Mrs. Nogitsune—she decided to keep her maiden name—is on a whole other level! The view you viewers at home are getting doesn't even convey how amazing this is! Why, when this illusion began, I almost thought I'd actually been transported into outer space somehow!" She paused and frowned, glancing to the side at her 'plus one.' "And it looks as if I wasn't the only one…Grobnar son of Grobnar, sweetie, you don't have to hold your breath. We're not actually in outer space. We never left Pokémon Square. The air here is perfectly breathable. Or didn't you notice how nobody else was dying from asphyxiation or decompression?"

Grobnar son of Grobnar, who had been stuffed into an ill-fitting tuxedo and had his mangy fur combed and gelled and actually looking somewhat presentable, blinked at the Kirlia holding the leash around his neck, his face blue due to holding his breath in for the last few minutes. Seeing that his caretaker wasn't dead, he opened his mouth and let out the breath he'd been holding in a great gasp, his face returning to its usual hue as fresh air flooded into his lungs. "Grobnar son of Grobnar knew that. Grobnar son of Grobnar was just seeing how long he can hold breath for!"

"And how long _can_ you hold it for?" Valeria asked gently.

"Um…" Brow furrowed, he started counting on his claws, sweat rolling down his face in concentration. "This many!" he said, proudly holding up both hands and lifting one leg, causing him to flail about frantically as he tried to maintain his balance, whacking one of the Draconian soldiers who had been walking nearby in the back of the head.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing?" the very large and dangerous-looking Haxorus snarled angrily, rearing back to tower over Grobnar son of Grobnar.

"Eeep!" Grobnar son of Grobnar squeaked, hiding behind Valerie.

"He's with me, soldier," Valerie said, flashing her credentials. "And _very_ sorry for hitting you. Isn't that right, Grobnar son of Grobnar?"

"Um. Yes. Grobnar son of Grobnar am sorry," the Vigoroth said.

"Hmmph. Fine, just be more careful next time. If you want to dance, go to the dance floor, that's where everyone else is doing it," the Haxorus said before wandering off to grab a drink, rubbing the back of his head.

"Ooh! Dance! Can Grobnar son of Grobnar go dancing?" Grobnar son of Grobnar asked.

"After we're done shooting. I don't think it would be a good idea to let you out of my sight. You might get yourself hurt, like when I left you alone in the shower for a few minutes and came back to find the curtains torn to shreds while you were trying to rip out the showerhead," Valerie said.

"Grobnar son of Grobnar thought a tiny Panpour was trying to assassinate Grobnar son of Grobnar with Scald," Grobnar son of Grobnar said Mareepishly. "Just like Grobnar son of Grobnar thought there was Shellder hiding in toilet trying to kill Grobnar son of Grobnar with Whirlpool. Or alarm clock was actually hosting evil Kricketot that wanted to drive Grobnar son of Grobnar insane with loud noises."

"To be fair on that last one, most Pokémon feel about the same way towards their alarm clocks," Valerie admitted. "But our home life is for home and not for public television, so let's get back to reporting, shall we?"

"Okie-dokie," Grobnar son of Grobnar said, trying to make a thumb's up, then remembering he didn't have a thumb. He stared at the two claws on each hand in confusion, wondering how he managed without one.

"Anyway, as all you viewers no doubt saw, the wedding was an absolutely beautiful affair that warmed the hearts of everyone present—yours truly included—and made everyone long for a ceremony just as wonderful someday. Even yours truly, who's already married. Speaking of which, honey, if you're watching this—and you'd better be—you'd better come up with something _really_ good for our anniversary next month if you want to match up to this shindig."

"Oooooh!" Grobnar son of Grobnar hooted, giggling childishly. Valerie glared at him and he sobered up, looking embarrassed.

"Anyway, I certainly know how _I_ felt about the wedding, and Grobnar son of Grobnar knows how _he_ feels about it-" Valerie started.

Grobnar son of Grobnar nodded somberly. "It deeply touched Grobnar son of Grobnar in place Grobnar son of Grobnar did not know Grobnar son of Grobnar even had."

"But let's see how some of the other guests felt about it, shall we? Like, say…Pokémon Square's own Mayor, Mayur Whiscash the XXXVIIth!"

She walked over to the Mayor, who was wearing a waterproof tux and perching the upper half of his body on the rim of the wheeled water tank he was immersed in while talking to Chairperson Erma about something. It almost looked like they were flirting… Unfortunately, any intimacy, real or imagined, was somewhat ruined when the far too perky Valerie planted herself between the two elder Pokémon, thrusting her microphone into the Mayor's face with a cheerful expression on her face. "Mayor Mayur! As the highest elected—I think—official of Pokémon Square and titular head of the town, what was your opinion of today's ceremony?" Behind her, the curious Grobnar son of Grobnar reached for one of the berries growing from the tree on Chairperson Erma's back. The Torterra glared at him and smacked his arm away, causing him to whimper as he cradled his claw in pain.

Hiding a brief scowl that he'd been interrupted from scoring with Erma, the Mayor quickly put on a benevolent smile for the camera pointed right at him by Valerie's Mr. Mime assistant. "It was everything we'd ever dreamed of, and more! Not only were we able to at last throw a wedding party for our town's greatest hero, Aaron—since he went and got hitched to the Ninetales of Mt. Freeze without telling us—we were also able to finally consummate the union between several of our humble village's other longtime sweethearts, like Zeke and Silvia, as well as join together some of our new allies and friends in holy matrimony, such as the foreign heroes Zoro and Rosa, or the reformed barbarians Goku and Ete, and even your own Empire's General Shinobu and Missy. Aside from bringing so many loving couples together and increasing feelings of goodwill and morale, I believe that this wedding also served to increase the solidarity of our alliance. By having so many couples of differing backgrounds and cultures married in the same ceremony-couples from Pokémon Square, the Draconian Empire, the wilds of Kanjohenn, or even as far away as La Mancha-it shows that all of us are really part of the same team, that we are a community bound together for the common cause of defending this town and repelling the evil forces that seek to dominate it, and through it perhaps the world. I'm sure that I don't need to tell you that more than a few of our town's newest residents, the refugees from the battle at Mt. Blaze, have felt as if they don't belong in our world, that they are too different from us, or that they can't trust us because of our strength or technology or powerful—and, to some, terrifying—allies. Our hope was that by holding this massive mixed wedding, we could show them that in spite of their disparate backgrounds they belong here as much as any Pokémon in our town does, that we accept them as warmly and welcoming as we would anyone who sought refuge behind our walls. While we know that many of them feel uncomfortable in more civilized territories, considering how dangerous the wilds have gotten as of late due to the rise in barbarian activity—activity that has continued rising despite our defeat of the Burning Horde, though not as sharply-we're hoping the wedding will make them feel more at ease here, like this is a place where they can make a home for themselves and don't have to live in constant fear, like they would if they returned to their old habitats, most of which have been either destroyed or are completely overrun by barbarians or other wild Pokémon who might not be willing to let the old occupants back."

Valerie raised an eyebrow. "That almost makes it sound like you're trying to hold them here against their wishes."

"Wh-what? No, no, that couldn't be farther from the truth!" the Mayor said, startled. "I mean, look, we _just_ rescued them from horrible captivity and enslavement, and there's a pretty good chance that if we let them go back to the wild they'll wind up right back where they started. That sort of defeats the purpose of rescuing them in the first place, right? While I admit not all of them are exactly _happy_ staying here, I can guarantee that they're much _safer_. If they still desire to leave once the crisis is over and the continent is safe once more—or safer, anyway—we'll be more than happy to escort them back to their old homes and do our best to set them up in suitable living conditions. The Empire has even pledged supplies and relief efforts to help in this endeavor—since our own resources are starting to get a little strained at the moment—and I've heard that they're trying to encourage other countries to send aid as well. Er, I don't suppose you would happen to know how that's going, would you? I mean, what with your position and all…"

Valerie pursed her lips and gave the Mayor an apologetic look. "While a number of Pokemonitarian groups and organizations are willing to help, red tape as well as anti-Imperial sentiments are somewhat hampering relief efforts."

The Mayor frowned in alarm. "Anti-Imperial sentiments?"

"A lot of people are still convinced that the Draconian Empire is using this as an excuse to annex the majority of Kanjohenn, which they traditionally haven't had much of a foothold in save for the region around Wyvern Hill and solitary Imperial citizens scattered about the continent, and don't want to contribute to giving the Empire even more power than it already has," Valerie explained. "And while there are some groups offering assistance, it's feared that some of their intentions are less than benign in nature and that some of them want to carve up Kanjohenn and claim its resources for themselves, and since most of the continent's civilized bodies have been destroyed by barbarian invasions, there wouldn't really be anyone who could stop them except for the Empire…which might have the consequence of leading to a global war. As you might imagine, international tension is running a bit high at the moment."

The Mayor's smile grew increasingly plastic. "I…see. They still don't believe the Nihilators exist, do they?"

"No, sir, I'm afraid not," Valerie said apologetically.

"Oh, well, that shouldn't be a problem for much longer," the Mayor said, cheering up. "I have it on good authority that within the next day or two, the lid on the Nihilators will finally be blown off, thanks to an expose from some of their escaped prisoners."

Valerie raised an eyebrow. "You're referring to the alleged vampires confiscated from the ice witch Bellum at this year's Convocum Mysticus Fantastica and are currently en route to Fichina aboard the Enchanted Express?"

The Mayor nodded. "Yes, those."

Grobnar son of Grobnar's head shot up, the leaves he'd been munching on from Chairperson Erma's tree sticking out of his mouth. "Ooh! Vampires? Are they sparkly?"

"NO!" both the Mayor and Valerie shouted.

Valerie groaned. "What was I thinking, getting those books? Bad enough my kids got hooked on them, but poor Grobnar son of Grobnar is even more impressionable and naïve than they are and believes everything he reads or sees on television."

"Which is why Grobnar son of Grobnar knows you need to switch to Cascade detergent for all your dishwashing needs," Grobnar son of Grobnar recited. "It removes 75% more stains than other brands of detergent, and leaves no soapy residue!"

"We have to keep him away from the phones for the same reason," Valerie lamented as the Mayor winced. "He doesn't seem to understand the difference between telemarketers, family friends, or crank callers."

"Yes, I can see how that might be a problem…so, uh, I don't suppose many people are taking the vampire thing seriously, either?" the Mayor asked.

Valerie sighed. "Unfortunately not. Due to Fichina's insular nature and how most of the strongest mages exclude themselves from everyday affairs, most countries are indifferent and apathetic to what goes on in the mystic circles and regards the whole thing as 'just those crazy wizards taking too many magic potions again.'"

The Mayor groaned. "Of course…and I suppose the fact that the train was recently attacked by Nihilator forces is being ignored too?"

"Technically it was Bellum and an army of ice monsters that attacked the train, so not many believe there's a conclusive link between her and the Nihilators and just think it's a continuation of the centuries-long feud between Bellum and Fantina," Valerie said. "And to be fair, if it weren't for the Empire's current alliance with your town and what we ourselves have learned about the Nihilators, we might have believed the same thing…although we probably would have taken a greater interest, since Bellum has been one of our nation's archenemies for hundreds of years."

The Mayor sighed. "Well, hopefully the truth will come out when they get to Fichina. And if not…well, even if the rest of the world continues to turn their backs on Pokémon Square, at least we have the Draconian Empire to help out. Who'd have thought a world-spanning empire would take so much time out to help a small town like ours?"

"Yeah, we get that a lot," Valerie said smugly.

"You also get rather extensive amounts of tribute from the cities and small countries you happen to 'liberate' from whatever is giving them problems at the moment," a familiar Cherrim said as she waltzed over, followed by her Machop and Cyndaquil lackeys. "And you seem to have forgotten to mention how even after the crisis is past, your troops seem to linger for an _awfully_ long time for supposed 'peacekeeping' purposes."

Valerie's eyes narrowed. "Rhonda…" she hissed.

"Oh, hey, it annoying other reporter lady! Can Grobnar son of Grobnar eat her now?" Grobnar son of Grobnar asked.

"I'll consider it," Valerie said.

"Osagawara. So good to see you again, though I shouldn't be surprised that you'd be here to cover a wedding involving one of the highest-ranking members of your fascist theocracy's leadership," Rhonda sneered. "And I see you continue to prove the lie to the claim that Draconians don't take slaves with your little barbarian pet there."

"Grobnar son of Grobnar is neither a slave or a pet, he's a member of my household like any other," Valerie growled.

"Then why do you need to keep him on a leash?" Rhonda taunted. "Afraid he'll run away and return to his rightful home in the wild?"

"No, it's because he gets lost easily," Valerie said.

Grobnar son of Grobnar screamed and looked around frantically. "Aiiiieee! Kirlia lady whose name Grobnar son of Grobnar can't pronounce that feeds Grobnar son of Grobnar and tucks Grobnar son of Grobnar into bed at night and reads Grobnar son of Grobnar bedtime stories! Where did you go? Grobnar son of Grobnar cannot see you!" He burst into tears. "Grobnar son of Grobnar is abandoned again! Waaaahhh!"

"Grobnar son of Grobnar, I'm right here," Valerie, who was standing only a few feet away behind him, said.

The Vigoroth whirled around, squealed with delight, and hugged the startled Kirlia. "Oh, there you are! Grobnar son of Grobnar was so worried! Grobnar son of Grobnar thought you left like Mommy!"

"Shh…there, there…I'm not going anywhere…there's a good boy," Valerie whispered, patting Grobnar son of Grobnar on the head and feeling incredibly awkward.

"…Right," Rhonda said slowly. "Um…anyway! Mister Mayor! Rhonda Kremp of SNS. May I have a few words with you?"

"Yes, what is it?" the Mayor asked in annoyance, wondering if he'd ever get a chance to talk to Chairperson Erma, who seemed to have drifted off and was starting to snore.

"Mister Mayor, you seem to have put a lot of time and effort into making this mass wedding a success," Rhonda began.

"That's right, I—er, _we_ did!" the Mayor said proudly. "The whole town pitched together, as did our new allies! Really helped bring the whole community together."

"It certainly did. Isn't it also a convenient way to indoctrinate the refugees you 'liberated' from Mt. Blaze to make them more willing to comply with your wishes and less likely to return to their homelands?" Rhonda asked. "'Bread and circuses,' if you will?"

Mayor blinked. "I…beg your pardon?"

"I've heard rumors that a significant number of your current 'guests' are less than happy with their current living conditions and would be much happier returning to the wild, only you're not letting them leave. Is this the case, Mr. Mayor? And if so, how is this any different from the way they were treated while under barbarian care?" Rhonda asked.

The Mayor's face darkened. "Those are some rather slanderous accusations, young lady."

"Accusations which you have yet to deny or acknowledge," Rhonda said.

"I'll deny and acknowledge them as much as you'd like. We are absolutely nothing like the barbarians. We're giving them three full meals a day, a warm bed, plenty of company, and the care they need to recover from the physical and psychological abuse they suffered at the hands of the barbarians. We are not using them as a labor force, or as sex toys," the Mayor said sternly.

"You're also not letting them leave," Rhonda pointed out.

"Most of them are in no shape to leave our care. The majority wouldn't last more than a day on their own in their current condition," the Mayor insisted. "In addition, the wilds of Kanjohenn are currently a dangerous place, even more than usual. The remnants of the Burning Horde are still running about, and the forces of the Hive Queen are still at full strength, something we intend to remedy in the near future. As soon as they've been dealt with and the current crisis with the Nihilators is at an end, anyone who wishes to leave will be free to do so."

"In other words, as soon as you've taken out the remaining threats to your city-state's dominance on the continent, they'll be released into the territory you've gained control over and may do as they please under your eye?" Rhonda accused.

The Mayor blinked in surprise. "What? No! How did you get that from what I just…oh, never mind. I know your type, you'll twist whatever I say to suit your own ends. I suppose next you're going to claim that the current 'crisis' will never end and the Nihilators are just a fabrication the Draconian Empire and Pokémon Square are using to scare the good people of Kanjohenn into doing what we want and justify our campaigns against the barbarians?"

"Actually, yes, it was. And I suppose you'll deny this, as well?" Rhonda asked.

"I most certainly will. The Nihilators are a very real danger, as I think you'll find out for yourself soon enough," the Mayor said.

Rhonda narrowed her eyes. "Is that a threat, Mr. Mayor?"

"Not at all, Ms. Kremp. It's a promise. I believe we're done here. If you have any further groundless accusations to level at my town, its people, or my administration, you can leave them with my secretary, who will file them appropriately…in the shredder," the Mayor said coldly. He nodded to Valerie, who was still in the grip of the sobbing Grobnar son of Grobnar. "Good day, Ms. Osagawara, Mr. Grobnar."

"Grobnar _son of_ Grobnar!" Grobnar son of Grobnar corrected.

"Right. My apologies," the Mayor said. He rolled away with purpose…in the direction of the buffet table.

"Well, _that_ was an informative interview," Rhonda said smugly. "And certainly less slanted than your own biased Rayquaza-worshipping brand of reporting."

"At least we tell the truth instead of just making things up or playing up rumors to make the news more 'interesting!'" Valerie said angrily. "And I'll ask you not to take the great sky lord's name in vain, thank you very much!"

"I'll take that into consideration," Rhonda said with a laugh that said she would do no such thing. "And speaking of truth, that reminds me, I never _did_ tell you that interesting little tidbit I learned recently about your sainted God-Emperor, did I?"

"What, that he died three hundred years ago and our current ruler is just a Bagon who happened to be in the right place at the right time and took his place?" Valerie said, rolling her eyes.

Rhonda started. "You knew?"

Valerie smirked, deciding not to mention that she'd read Rhonda's mind earlier. While technically Rhonda had given her permission to do it back then, the Cherrim would probably pounce on it as evidence of Imperial mind-probing and thought policing or something silly like that. "Of course I knew. That old rumor's been flying around for hundreds of years, and is patently false. Nobody would believe a story designed to denigrate our divine sovereign as obviously made-up as that. Seriously, that was your big scoop? I'm almost disappointed, Rhonda. You're going to have to try harder than that to shake our faith in His Excellency."

"…Hmmph! Well! I intend to do just that!" Rhonda said, petals bristling as she drew herself up. "It's only a matter of time before I find the proof I need, and once I do, your precious Empire will come crashing down like a house of-" Abruptly, the boom mike lowered and hit her on the head. "Ow! Dammit, Jack!"

"Sorry," the Cyndaquil apologized, raising the mike back up.

Valerie stifled a giggle. Rhonda glared at her. "Don't think this is over, Osagawara. You can pretty up your Empire's dirty dealings as much as you want with your flank-kissing propaganda, but we'll see who's kissing who by the time I'm through!"

"…That threat didn't make any sense," said the confused Valerie. "Who am I supposed to be kissing, exactly, other than my husband?"

"You could kiss Grobnar son of Grobnar," Grobnar son of Grobnar said hopefully.

"Other than on the forehead when you go to sleep, no, dear," Valerie said, much to the Vigoroth's disappointment.

Rhonda growled. "Whatever! The point is, the Draconian Empire is living on borrowed time, and no matter how much you try to distract attention from that with frivolous weddings and award ceremonies and wars with imaginary terrorist organizations, Rhonda Kremp is on the case and will do whatever it takes to find the truth that will bring your bloated power-grabbing empire down…and end your career as a journalist forever!"

"Uh-huh. Have fun doing that," Valerie said, not looking particularly worried.

"Oh, I will! I _wi-"_ The boom mike dropped on her head. "Ow! Dammit, Jack!"

"Sorry," the Cyndaquil apologized, raising the boom.

"Ugh, never mind, you get the point. Let's get out of here and find some more people to interview…and ice for my head…" Rhonda grumbled, rubbing her head as she led her crew away.

Valerie smirked. "Heh…if I didn't know better, I'd say that boom operator was actually an Imperial spy set up to sabotage Rhonda's efforts to discredit the Empire."

"No, he's just clumsy," said the Ninjask floating right next to her that had not been there a second ago. Valerie and Grobnar son of Grobnar stared at him. "Oh, crap, you weren't supposed to see me. Or hear that. Uh, don't mind me, just passing through while spying on Ms. Kremp—I mean, heading for the buffet table! Yeah!" He quickly flew off.

"Buffet table is other way," said the confused Grobnar son of Grobnar.

"Yes, so it is…hmmph." Valerie shrugged. "Well, that was mildly entertaining."

"Not entertaining enough! Why you not rip off clothes and fight in mud?" Grobnar son of Grobnar complained.

"We're reporters, honey, not mud wrestlers," Valerie said.

Grobnar son of Grobnar blinked. "…There am difference?" Valerie facepalmed. "Why she hate Draconian Empire so much? Grobnar son of Grobnar like Draconian Empire. Grobnar son of Grobnar think it awesome!" he asked, changing the subject. This might seem odd considering the Empire was responsible for destroying his home and slaughtering thousands of his comrades, but as a barbarian he respected strength, and since the Empire had proven itself to be stronger than the Horde, he was more than happy to switch mindless devotion to Gal to mindless devotion to Rayquaza. (Plus, Gal had never offered indoor plumbing, television, or food half as good as what Valerie's husband made. Grobnar son of Grobnar's conversion to Dragonianism was inevitable.)

"Actually, she's rather neutral towards it personally," Valerie said.

"Huh? Then why she talking so much smack about it?" Grobnar son of Grobnar asked.

"Well, if I were more of a paranoid conspiracy theorist, I'd say her network is actually being controlled by the Nihilators who are doing their best to discredit us and draw attention away from their operations. In reality, it's more likely that her network's sponsors are anti-Imperial either for cultural or belief-related reasons, or because our international business practices are causing them to lose money, so they spread anti-Imperial propaganda to try and turn public opinion against us," Valerie said.

"Oh," Grobnar son of Grobnar said.

"Yeah, that about sums it up," the Ninjask floating next to Valerie said.

Valerie raised an eyebrow. "Weren't you supposed to be stalking Rhonda?"

"Nah, that's some other guy, I was just heading towards the buffet table," the Ninjask said, flying off, this time in the actual direction of the buffet table.

"You know, for black ops ninja spies that don't officially exist, those guys sure are making themselves pretty conspicuous today," Valerie commented.

"They probably rookies. So…Rhonda not really hate Kirlia lady whose name Grobnar son of Grobnar can't pronounce that feeds Grobnar son of Grobnar and tucks Grobnar son of Grobnar into bed at night and reads Grobnar son of Grobnar bedtime stories?" Grobnar son of Grobnar asked.

"Oh no, she does. Back in college we both were interested in the same guy. I wound up married to him, and she…didn't," Valerie said.

"Ohhh. That explain everything," Grobnar son of Grobnar said with a slow nod. He frowned. "Except why he not claim both of you. She annoying, but still pretty enough to sleep with. So long as she keep her mouth shut."

"He wasn't interested," Valerie said dimissively. "Anyway, let's put that aside for now, I'm supposed to be a professional and not allow personal issues to interfere with the job, especially when the camera's rolling. Let's find someone else to interview, shall we?"

"Hmm, okay…ooh! Ooh! Grobnar son of Grobnar knows who to interview!" Grobnar son of Grobnar said excitedly, hopping up and down and pointing to one of the waiters. "Grobnar son of Grobnar knows that guy! Let's go talk to him!"

Valerie blinked in surprise. "You know him? Grobnar son of Grobnar, how could you knowWAAAAAAHHHH!" she cried as the Vigoroth started running towards the waiter, dragging Valerie along by his leash.

The Mr. Mime cameramon blinked as his employer was dragged off, then sighed wearily as he started running after them. "I don't get paid enough for this…" he grumbled.

He caught up to Valerie and Grobnar son of Grobnar in time to capture the sight of Grobnar son of Grobnar enthusiastically giving a noogie to the waiter, a Monferno who seemed very unhappy to be in this current situation, shrieking and clawing and biting to try and get out of the Vigoroth's grip. "Ack! Lemme go, you big lummox! You made me drop the hours…the hers…the food things whose names I can't pronounce, and my boss is NOT gonna be happy about that!"

Grobnar son of Grobnar paused to glance at the upended platter lying on the ground, the bits of fancy-looking food that had been carried on it scattered all over the place. "It not look that bad, still good to eat!" To demonstrate, he grabbed one off the ground and shoved it in his mouth, chomping and chewing and slurping loudly. "Mmm…yep, still good to eat!" he said happily.

"Yeah, somehow I don't think my boss is going to feel the same way…or about how you're ruining my tux…it's a rental!" the Monferno whined.

"So am Grobnar son of Grobnar's! We match!" Grobnar son of Grobnar said happily.

The Monferno blinked in surprise and took a good look at his captor. "Wait a minute…Grobnar son of Grobnar? Is that you?"

"Yes, Ignik Firebottom, son of…um...Grobnar son of Grobnar forget who your father is," the Vigoroth apologized.

"How did you survive? I figured you'd have gotten killed like everyone else!" said the astonished Ignik. He made a face. "I kind of hoped you had, actually…"

Grobnar son of Grobnar laughed and gave Ignik another noogie. "You say the silliest things, Ignik Firebottom!"

"Yeah…silly…" Ignik said miserably.

"Uh, Grobnar son of Grobnar, I take it you know this Pokémon?" Valerie asked.

Grobnar son of Grobnar nodded happily. "Uhuh! This is Grobnar son of Grobnar's bestest friend in whole world, Ignik Firebottom!"

"Well, I wouldn't go that far…" Ignik grumbled.

"Best friend…oh! Then you're an ex-barbarian, too? How fascinating! And that last name…I take it you're related to the turncoat Goku Firebottom? Does that mean you're one of his mons?" Valerie said, eyes sparkling with delight. "I'd hoped to get an interview with him at some point, but I suppose one of his subordinates will do…"

"Lady, I'm not Goku's subordinate! I'm his brother!" Goku said angrily. He sighed. "And boy, do I wish I wasn't, because then I might not be in this situation right now…"

"Getting an enthusiastic noogie from Grobnar son of Grobnar?" Valerie asked.

"No…well, yes, that too, but I was more referring to the fact that I'm essentially a slave of Pokémon Square despite them saying they don't _take_ slaves! Psh, hypocrites," Ignik said sourly.

Valerie frowned. "A slave? That doesn't sound right…"

"Eh, they call it 'community service,' but it basically amounts to the same thing," Ignik grumbled.

Valerie blinked. "Community service? For what?"

"For being a barbarian, basically," Ignik complained. "I mean, come on, so I rape and pillage and plunder a little, and maybe wipe out or capture most of the family of some brat those high and mighty samurai guys took in…that's no reason to stick me in a suit and make me deliver food to people! Or get beaten up by kids in training exercises! Or do any of the other hundred demeaning things they've got me doing around here!"

"…Actually, I kind of think it is," Valerie said, frowning.

"Well, of _course_ you would. You civilized Pokémon think you're _so_ superior," Ignik sneered. "Flauncing your fancy 'morals' and 'technology' and 'personal hygiene' and acting like you're better than us! Well, you're _not!_"

"Ah, so you'd say that the treatment you are receiving is the same or worse than the sort of treatment you would give one of your own prisoners?" Valerie asked.

Ignik hesitated. "Well, no, I get plenty to eat—better grub than we ever had at Mt. Blaze, to be honest—and there haven't been any arbitrary beatings or surprise sexual assaults, which I was sort of expecting (and slightly looking forward to)…but it's humiliating is what it is! Not to mention hypocritical, because it's not like I'm the _only_ former barbarian here who did bad stuff, yet my stupid brother and his guys get welcomed with open arms and a full pardon and a big fancy wedding while I'm stuck over here catering and having to serve as a training dummy for junior Rescue Teams who barely know how to use an attack without hitting a friend or having it blow up in their faces, or even worse, _mine_!"

"I'm sensing some bitterness here," Valerie said.

"Gee, you think?" Ignik said sarcastically.

"Well, I could tell you it's only what you deserve but you probably get enough of that already and I doubt it'd make you feel any better," Valerie said.

Ignik pouted. "No, it wouldn't."

"Ignik Firebottom needs to cheer up! Life much better than it were back in army! There, you were butt of every joke and got beaten up by bigger and stronger warriors! Here, you are butt of every joke and get beaten up by smaller and weaker warriors! Big improvement!" Grobnar son of Grobnar said cheerfully.

"Yes, _humongous_," Ignik said sarcastically. Grobnar son of Grobnar smiled, completely failing to recognize the sarcasm.

"Well, in the horde, you had the fear of death constantly hanging over your head. Here, it's only…well, humiliation or more community service, I guess?" Valerie said.

"Eh, close enough," Ignik grumbled. "But still, I used to be somebody! I was feared and respected by many!"

"No you weren't," Grobnar son of Grobnar said.

"Okay, fine, I wasn't," Ignik said, getting flustered. "But I was feared! Sometimes! When I was riding around on my steed and waving my sword and shouting a lot…but now everyone looks at me with amusement or mild distaste. Nobody takes me seriously!"

"Nobody took you seriously before," Grobnar son of Grobnar said.

"Well, okay, yeah, but this is different!" Ignik whined. "There I was being looked down upon by my colleagues! Here, I'm being looked down upon by the kinds of people I used to terrorize! It makes me feel small and weak and pathetic…"

"You _are_ small and weak and pathetic," Grobnar son of Grobnar pointed out.

"Why thank you, I didn't notice," Ignik said sarcastically.

"You're welcome," Grobnar son of Grobnar said cheerfully.

"The only Pokémon that seems to regard me as a legitimate danger is that Rattata kid whose fault it is that I'm even in this mess…if he had just run a little slower, I could've caught him before he reached these parts, and then I wouldn't have run into and gotten beaten up by Team Aurabolt, and then my whole life wouldn't have gone downhill!" Ignik complained. "And he's not even scared of me either, he just keeps trying to kill me! Which I guess is understandable, since I sorta did horrible things to his family, but still!"

"You're not really doing much to drum up sympathy for your problem, you know," Valerie said dryly, raising an eyebrow.

"Bite me," he grumbled.

"Okay," Grobnar son of Grobnar said, lifting Ignik's arm and opening his mouth.

Ignik frantically snatched the limb away. "Not literally, you idiot! Ugh…how come _you_ aren't sympathizing with me? You're in pretty much the same situation as I am! They're even making you wear a leash and a collar, like you're some kind of pet!"

"Nuh-uh! Grobnar son of Grobnar not pet, Grobnar son of Grobnar member of household!" Grobnar son of Grobnar said proudly.

"Then why's the dame leading you on a leash?" Ignik asked doubtfully.

"Because he gets lost easily," Valerie said.

Grobnar son of Grobnar screamed and looked around frantically. "Aiiiieee! Best friend Ignik Firebottom and Kirlia lady whose name Grobnar son of Grobnar can't pronounce that feeds Grobnar son of Grobnar and tucks Grobnar son of Grobnar into bed at night and reads Grobnar son of Grobnar bedtime stories! Where did you go? Grobnar son of Grobnar cannot see you!" He burst into tears. "Grobnar son of Grobnar is abandoned again! Waaaahhh!"

"Grobnar son of Grobnar, we're right here," Valerie, who was standing only a few feet away behind his back, said.

The Vigoroth whirled around, squealed with delight, and hugged the startled Kirlia and Monferno. "Oh, there you are! Grobnar son of Grobnar was so worried! Grobnar son of Grobnar thought you left like Mommy!"

"I see your point," Ignik grunted as Valerie tried to comfort the sobbing monchild. "So, if he's not your slave or pet or whatever…"

"He's a member of my household. I adopted him right off the battlefield," Valerie said.

Ignik blinked in surprise. "Battlefield? You're a soldier?"

"No, a reporter. I was on the scene at the battle at Mt. Blaze, covering the fight from the front lines so the viewers at home could see what our Empire's finest had to deal with when engaging your army," Valerie said.

"…Wait. You're not a warrior…but you went to a site of battle anyway…just to show other people what it was like?" Ignik asked incredulously, his opinion of the Kirlia raising a few notches. She wasn't sure if she was courageous or crazy or both, but it was clear she had some guts, far more than he would have expected from a pampered civilized Pokémon.

"That's right," Valerie said. "And it's there that I met Grobnar son of Grobnar, and, after interviewing him, took a fancy to him and decided to take him home with me."

"Huh," Ignik said. "That's…different. Why him?"

"Well, if he had been your run-of-the-mill barbarian…like, say, you…I probably wouldn't have bothered. But there's something oddly endearing about Grobnar son of Grobnar's childishness and rough background, so I decided to give him a home rather than let him get killed or shipped off to penal colonies like the rest of the horde," Valerie said. "I have a thing for charity cases, you see."

"Ah," Ignik said, not seeing at all. "And let me guess, he gets off scott-free despite all the horrible things _he's_ done because you find him 'cute,' right?"

"Oh no, he's actually under heavy probation," Valerie said. "He's being carefully monitored to see if I can successfully rehabilitate him. If he behaves poorly and reverts to his old ways, they'll send him away. Naturally I don't want that to happen, so I'm doing my best to turn him into a happy and well-adjusted citizen of the Empire. I'm doing fine on the happiness part, well-adjusted…not so much…"

"Yeah, I can see that," Ignik said dryly as Grobnar son of Grobnar scratched his butt then sniffed the claw that had done so. His eyes narrowed as gears started turning inside his head. "Hmm…I don't suppose you'd be interested in adopting _me_, would you? I came from a pretty rough background too, and attempts to rehabilitate me so far aren't doing so well…maybe all I need is some tender loving care from a big-hearted sap—I mean, wonderful young womon like yourself to set me straight?"

She stared at him deadpan. "Yyyyeah no. I may be a bleeding heart but I'm not stupid."

Ignik sighed. "Oh well, worth a try." _That was a bust. Still, maybe if I find some dumber broad I can woo her into letting me into her life…and out of this crappy job! And then I'll never have to deal with that smug prick Chuck again…_

"IGNIK!" the bane of the ex-barbarian's existence shouted as he stormed over, causing the Monferno to wince. "Are you slacking on the job? And what are those hoeurs d'oevurs doing on the ground?"

"I-it was an accident!" Ignik protested frantically.

"I'm sure it was," the Makuhita said coldly. "Ma'am, was this punk bothering you?"

"Oh no, he was actually giving me a very fascinating interview," Valerie said. "It was our fault he dropped his tray, actually. Or rather, it was Grobnar son of Grobnar's fault, for which he's very sorry, isn't that right Grobnar son of Grobnar?"

The Vigoroth nodded mournfully. "Grobnar son of Grobnar is sorry."

"Oh," Chuck said, slightly taken aback that for once something wasn't Ignik's fault. "Well…all right, then. Try to keep him under better control in the future, will you?"

"I'll do my best," Valerie promised.

"Hmm, in fact…yes, you'll do nicely…" Chuck murmured, giving the three of them an appraising look. "Hey, Ignik, how'd you like to do something that'll shave several years off your sentence and get you the rest of the day off?"

"Would I!" Ignik said excitedly. He paused, his not unfounded paranoia kicking in. "Waiiiit. What's the catch?"

"No catch, except that your two friends here, to make up for causing you to waste the very expensive food you were entrusted with, will accompany you to make sure you carry out the job properly. Won't you now?" Chuck asked, giving Valerie and Grobnar son of Grobnar a look.

"Certainly! No problem!" Valerie said, much to the annoyance of her cameramon.

"Awww, do we have to?" Grobnar son of Grobnar whined.

"Grobnar son of Grobnar, what have I told you about responsibility?" Valerie asked.

The Vigoroth sighed unhappily. "That when Grobnar son of Grobnar messes something up, Grobnar son of Grobnar has to fix it."

"That's right! Which is why we'd be more than happy to help Mr. Firebottom do…whatever it is he's doing." Valerie glanced at Chuck. "What is he doing, exactly?"

"Oh, nothing much…except that it's a matter of vital importance and the safety of the entire town is at stake," Chuck said gravely.

Ignik was taken aback. "…And you're entrusting _me_ with a task that important? Last time I checked, I'm not only monstrously unreliable, I hate this town and would be perfectly happy if it were to be destroyed."

"Which is why these two will escort you to make sure you don't screw it up on purpose," Chuck said. "I'd do it myself, but the missus has been nagging at me to take her out on the dance floor, and all the other waiters are busy, so I have no choice but to—very reluctantly—give you the task instead, even though every piece of my gut is screaming at me that you're the absolute worst Pokémon for the job."

"Your gut is completely right. Still, if it'll knock some time off my sentence and get me out of this suit for the rest of the day, I'm all for it," Ignik said. "So, what do you need me to do? Beat someone up? Kill someone? Beat someone up and then kill them?"

"No, Ignik," Chuck said.

"Oh. Well, do you need me to set something on fire, then? I'm good at that. I'm a Fire-type, after all!" Ignik said proudly.

"No, Ignik," Chuck said.

"Oh. Well, what is it then? Steal something? Rape someone? Call someone nasty names? Fling poop at someone?" Ignik asked.

"Ignik!" Chuck said in exasperation. "Nothing violent or disgusting!"

"…But that's pretty much my entire skill set!" Ignik whined. "Other than interpretive dancing, which I somehow doubt you want…ooh, unless you _do_ want me to dance?"

Chuck shuddered in horror. "Celestial Heavens, no! No, Ignik, I need you to do something much simpler but infinitely more important!"

"Oooh. What is it?" Ignik asked.

Chuck held out a plate with a slice of wedding cake on it. "I need you to take this slice of cake here…"

"Uh-huh…" Ignik said.

"Take it to Mr. Otoro there from the Link Shop…" Chuck said, pointing to a dapperly dressed Gulpin schmoozing about nearby.

"Uh-huh…" Ignik said.

"Give it to Mr. Otoro…" Chuck said.

"Uh-huh…" Ignik said.

"And make sure he eats it," Chuck said.

"Uh-huh…and then what?" Ignik asked.

"And then nothing. That's it," Chuck said.

Ignik stared at him blankly. "…Let me get this straight. All you want me to do is take this cake, give it to that guy over there, and make sure he eats it?"

"That's right," Chuck said.

"This cake right here. The one you're holding?" Ignik said.

"That's right," Chuck said.

"And this is a task so important that the fate of the whole town depends on it?" Ignik asked incredulously.

"That's right," Chuck said.

Ignik scratched his head in puzzlement. Behind him, Valerie and Grobnar son of Grobnar did the same. (Well, Valerie did, Grobnar son of Grobnar was just hungry.) "Huh. When you told me I'd be doing something really, really important, I kinda thought it'd be a bit…bigger than this."

"Trust me when I say that this is probably the most important thing you'll ever do in your entire life," Chuck said seriously, handing Ingik the cake.

"Uh, okay…" Ignik said skeptically, staring at the slice and wondering what could possibly be so important about it.

Either misinterpreting Ignik's look—or perhaps responding to the way Grobnar son of Grobnar was drooling—Chuck said, "And this cake is for Mr. Otoro and Mr. Otoro only. Nobody else can have any part of it, including you. That means not a crumb, not a dash of frosting, not even one of the sugar flowers on top. The whole thing goes to Mr. Otoro. This is ABSOLUTELY vital. He has to eat the _whole_ thing. Do I make myself clear?"

"Uh, y-yeah, sure. No problem. Make him eat the whole thing. Got it," Ignik said, startled by how serious Chuck was. "You can count on me!"

"No, I can't, but thankfully that's what these two are for, to keep you honest," Chuck said, nodding at Valerie and Grobnar son of Grobnar.

"Ahem," the Mr. Mime cameramon said.

"Er, three of you. And presumably millions of people watching around the world. So, remember, you've got countless Pokemon you've never met watching and judging your every move, and the whole town counting on you, so don't blow it. No pressure, right?" Chuck said, patting Ignik on the back and nearly knocking him face-first into the cake.

"Eeek," Ignik squeaked.

"Good mon! Excuse me while I go dance with my wife," Chuck said, wandering off.

"…Huh," Valerie said after a moment. "That was different."

"Don't worry, Ignik Firebottom!" Grobnar son of Grobnar said cordially, smacking the trembling Monferno and nearly smashing his face into the cake for a second time. "Grobnar son of Grobnar was terrified of camera too, but Valerie told Grobnar son of Grobnar special trick: imagine everyone who's watching you is naked!"

Ignik blinked and gave Grobnar son of Grobnar a confused look. "But…most Pokémon _are_ naked. Clothing is an optional thing for us…"

"Exactly!" Grobnar son of Grobnar said triumphantly. Ignik stared at him blankly.

"Hmm...this could be interesting," Valerie said, examining the cake. "I sense some strange power here…"

"Is it poison?" Ignik asked. "Oh! I bet it's poison! They must want me to kill that Gulpin for some reason…and…then blame it on me…which is why they asked me to do it…" His face paled in horror, then twisted in rage. "Oh, Abyss no! I'm nobody's fall guy!"

"It's not poison," Valerie said.

Ignik, who had been about to throw the cake on the ground and stomp on it, paused. "Are you sure?"

"It doesn't _feel_ like poison," Valerie said. "It feels like…magic. _Strong_ magic."

"How can you tell?" Ignik asked.

"I'm a Psychic reporter, honey. In my line of work, you learn how to recognize that sort of thing," Valerie said.

"You sure it not poison? Grobnar son of Grobnar willing to taste-test," Grobnar son of Grobnar said hungrily, reaching for the cake. Valerie smacked his claw away without looking. He sulked.

"Magic? Why would they want me to feed him something magic?" Ignik asked skeptically, still feeling like he was being set up.

"I don't know," Valerie confessed. "But if this is some sort of frame-up job—which I doubt—I'll do my best to clear your name. If things go south, you've got both my and Grobnar son of Grobnar's word as eyewitnesses that you were set up, as well as the evidence captured on camera," she said, nodding to her cameramon, who gave her a thumb's-up in return.

"…You'd really back me up? Why?" Ignik asked in surprise. "I'm just a barbarian who hates you and everything your society stands for!"

"Yes, but you're already serving time for the crimes you've committed. I see no reason for you to be punished for something you didn't," Valerie said. "Something like that is a miscarriage of justice, and as a reporter I am obligated to always reveal the truth of such sordid affairs!"

"Huh. Thanks," Ignik said, oddly touched. This was possibly the first time any of his captors or their kind had defended him. It felt weird. He glanced down at the cake, then to the Gulpin, and sighed. "I guess I should take this to him, then…"

Valerie nodded. "All right. We'll watch from over here."

"Huh? You aren't coming with me?" Ignik asked.

"What, and make it obvious that you're up to something?" Valerie said.

"Ah. Point. Well…okay. Here I go…" Ignik said. He started for Mr. Otoro. Halfway, he glanced anxiously back at the others, who waved at him encouragingly. He swallowed and kept going.

"Do you think Ignik Firebottom will be fine?" Grobnar son of Grobnar asked in concern.

"That depends on what he's gotten himself into…keep the camera rolling, this should be good," Valerie said to the cameramon, who nodded and kept the camera trained on Ignik.

"…and basically, that's what my Link Shop does," Mr. Otoro finished explaining to the Draconian soldier he'd been talking to as Ignik cautiously approached.

"Wow! I had no idea a Pokémon could do something like that! Yeah, I'd definitely love to try that, something like that could change my life for the better!" the soldier said.

The Gulpin smiled. "Excellent! Would you like to set up an appointment, then? I'm going to be a little busy for the next few days, but I think I could squeeze you in, oh, say…how about next Wednesday?"

"Sure, that works for me," the soldier said.

"Excellent! I look forward to seeing you then," Mr. Otoro said, smiling as the soldier headed off, eagerly looking forward to his appointment. "Another satisfied customer. Or soon-to-be-customer, anyway."

"Um, excuse me, sir?" Ignik said, clearing his throat.

"Hmm? Yes, can I help you?" Mr. Otoro asked, turning to Ignik.

"Um, I was wondering if you'd like some of this delicious wedding cake? All the guests are trying it, and they seem to love it!" Ignik said.

"You're right, it was delicious," Mr. Otoro said, licking his lips in reminiscence. "But I already had a piece earlier, so I don't need another, thank you very much."

"What? Only one? Come now, such a cake as magnificent as the one for this wedding can't just be sampled once! There's more than enough for seconds! I certainly intend to get some…" _Assuming I ever get a chance for a first,_ Ignik thought longingly.

"Very tempting, but no thanks. I'm trying to watch my weight, and I'm not really hungry," Mr. Otoro said.

"What? Not hungry? But you're a Gulpin! I thought you guys were like bottomless garbage disposals or something! Sometimes literally. Since you like eating trash and stuff," Ignik said in surprise and more than a little nervousness.

Mr. Otoro bristled. "I never! That is a blatant stereotype, and I take offense at being labeled with such a crude stigma! Why, I might as well say that just because you're a Monferno, you like setting things on fire and throwing poop at people!"

"…But I _do_ like setting things on fire and throwing poop at people," Ignik said.

"Ah. Well," the Gulpin said.

There was an awkward pause. Ignik coughed. "So, uh…back to the cake…"

"I already told you, I'm not hungry," Mr. Otoro said.

"Oh come on, it's just one slice! And not even a big one at that! What could it hurt?" Ignik pleaded.

"No thanks," Mr. Otoro said.

"It's reeeeaaaally good," Ignik said, wiggling his eyebrows.

"It is, but no," Mr. Otoro said.

"Come on! Just look at it! Sitting there all by its lonesome, looking so fluffy and white and delicious…doesn't just the thought of it make you want to salivate?" Ignik asked as he stared at the cake, trying with great difficult to keep himself from drooling.

Mr. Otoro smirked and raised an eyebrow. "Sounds like you want it more than I do."

"Wh-what?" Ignik said in alarm, wrenching his gaze away from the cake. "Oh no, I couldn't! I'm just the staff! I can't go around eating the food meant for the guests without permission! I could get in big trouble for it!"

"Well, I give you permission. Go ahead and eat it. I don't mind," Mr. Otoro said.

"Oh, um…thank you…that's…very kind…but, uh…I'm also on a diet…and…I think it would be better if you had it!" Ignik said, thrusting the cake into the Gulpin's face.

Mr. Otoro recoiled. "I already told you, I don't want it," the Gulpin said, delicately pushing the plate back. "Why don't you give it some other Pokémon? If neither of us want it, I'm sure there's some other hungry soul who'd love to have some."

"Then they can get their own, because I really think you should have this one!" Ignik cried, starting to get desperate.

Mr. Otoro narrowed his eyes, a suspicious look on his face. "…You seem awfully determined to make me eat that cake. Did somebody put you up to this? What's going on here? And…" He paused, sniffing the air before fixing a baleful look at the cake. "Why do I sense a distinct hint of _magic_ in that-"

"Oh for the love of-" Losing his patience, Ignik thrust his foot and free hand forward into the Gulpin's mouth, prying the Stomach Pokémon's jaws open until they formed a cavity about as tall as he was and shoved the cake slice, plate and all, down Mr. Otoro's throat. Before the startled Poison-type could spit the cake out, Ignik withdrew his appendages and stomped down on the Gulpin's head, forcing his mouth shut. "There! Now eat it! Eat it and love it, you fat piece…of…" He trailed off, suddenly realizing that all the other guests were staring at him in horror. "Um…it's not what it looks like?"

Valerie facepalmed. "Oh, Ignik…"

Ignik's face turned pale in horror when several grim-faced Draconian soldiers and Pokémon Square warriors started towards him. "Oh crap…ohcrapohcrapohcrap…DAMMIT, CHUCK, YOU SET ME UP! WELL, I'LL GET THE LAST LAUGH, BECAUSE MILLIONS OF POKÉMON AROUND THE WORLD WILL SEE THAT YOU PUT ME UP TO THIS AND…and…and why is everyone stopping and looking at me like that?"

"Um, it's not you they're looking at, Ignik," Valerie said, looking shocked. "It's what you're standing on."

Ignik glanced down at Mr. Otoro. "Huh? Oh no, don't tell me the guy choked to death on HOLY CRAP!" he screamed, leaping off of the Gulpin, whose face was screwed up in pain as his body shimmered with all the colors of the rainbow, the air warping and distorting around him. "Whatever's happening to him, it's not my fault! I've got eyewitness and camera testimony to prove I was coerced into doing it!"

"Gah…you…you fool!" Mr. Otoro snarled, his voice turning higher and thinner and gaining several echoes, as if more than one person were talking at once. "Do…do you have any idea…what you've done?"

"It was all Chuck's idea! I'm just a patsy! I am in no way legally responsible for this! Right?" the frantic Ignik said, glancing at Valerie and Grobnar son of Grobnar.

"Um…I…I guess?" Valerie said uncertainly.

"What's happening?" Grobnar son of Grobnar squealed in alarm, hiding trembling behind the Kirlia.

Valerie narrowed her eyes as she carefully examined the shimmering Mr. Otoro. "Well, if I had to guess, I'd say that's an Nth-class Illusion Field being disrupted from within by a Level 9 binding spell implanted in the piece of cake Ignik fed that Gulpin, whom I'm no longer certain _is_, in fact, a Gulpin if he's surrounded by an Nth-class Illusion Field." Ignik, Grobnar son of Grobnar, and quite a few other people—including the cameramon—stared at her in astonishment. She huffed. "What? I'm a reporter. I've seen stuff like this before."

"Gnnh…graaauuugghrrrrlll!" Mr. Otoro belched, mouth stretching wide open as nine golden chains burning with foxfire (and covered in cake crumbs) shot out of his gullet and wrapped around his form several times, squeezing and compacting his squishy blob-like body tightly, causing the vibrancy of the colors rippling around him to increase exponentially until he no longer looked like a Gulpin at all but a sphere of incredibly bright and colorful light. As the chains squeezed harder and harder, his shadow flickered and stretched out behind him, darkening and changing form to resemble a sinister vulpine figure with nine tails and glowing red eyes, laughing soundlessly at Mr. Otoro's plight. There was the sound of something cracking, and the sphere pulsed…

And then there was the noise of shattering glass and a brilliant flash of light as the sphere vaporized and suddenly the chains expanded outward, causing everyone nearby to stumble back in alarm. Alarm turned to screams of terror when the light faded, revealing that not only were the chains still present but they were wrapped around something that most certainly was _not_ a Gulpin. "Well, _that's_ unexpected," said a stunned Valerie as Grobnar son of Grobnar squealed and wet himself. "We're still getting this right?"

"Yeah," the Mr. Mime said vaguely, taking his eye off the viewfinder to stare at the astonishing sight before him. "But I'm not sure if we're going to be able to pick up all the colors that thing is giving off. I don't think most of them translate well to cable. Satellite, maybe, but definitely not cable."

"…OKAY, CHUCK! YOU HAVE A _LOT_ OF EXPLAINING TO DO!" Ignik shouted as he stared at the shimmering, roiling mass in front of him. "LIKE HOW A PIECE OF CAKE TURNS A GULPIN INTO A SWARM OF _UNOWN!"_

And that's exactly what was being restrained by the mass of burning golden cake-encrusted chains: a cluster of Unown numbering in the dozens, swarming and buzzing angrily in noises that weren't actually noises but tenth-dimensional waveshift vibrations that gave everyone in earshot a severe headache and flashing in colors that probably didn't exist on the electromagnetic spectrum. GRAAAAAHHH! RELEASE US FROM THIS PRISON, YOU FLESHLING WRETCH! YOU KNOW NOT WHAT YOU HAVE JUST DONE, OR WHOM YOU HAVE DONE IT TO! several of the Unown spelled out in the air, pressing against the edge of the magical barrier formed by the chains in front of Ignik, their eyes staring at the Monferno with such power that were they not bound by the mystic chains he would have been completely erased from the universe.

Ignik scratched his head and stared at the Unown blankly. "Whatever you're trying to say, I'm sure it would be a lot more frightening if I actually knew how to read." The Unown spelled themselves out in vile curse words in various dead languages, which again had little effect on Ignik, both because he couldn't read and because they were in languages he didn't know. Those who _could_ read thought they should be vaguely offended or shocked, but weren't quite sure why.

"Stand back, everyone. Don't get too close to the caged abomination," Nuken said, appearing from out of nowhere as Draconian soldiers rushed onto the scene and pushed the confused crowd back, forming a perimeter around the Unown. Robed mages Teleported onto the scene and formed a second ring around the thing that had once been Mr. Otoro. "There is no need to be alarmed, we have the situation under control."

Ignik, caught between the two rings of Draconians, squeaked in terror when he realized that one of the most powerful and feared Pokémon in the Draconian Empire, who'd racked up a kill count of at least seven hundred and eighty-nine barbarians at the battle of Mt. Blaze, was floating right next to him. "Ack! Scary Shedinja guy! This was all Chuck's idea, I was just a patsy! Please don't kill me!"

"I'd love to, but I promised my wife I wouldn't on our wedding day, so perhaps another time," Nuken said without looking at Ignik, who turned chalk-white and promptly wet himself. There was a pause, and then Nuken glanced at Ignik. "That was a joke."

"…Oh. Oh! Ah, of course it was, sir! HA HA HA HA. Very funny!" Ignik yelled, laughing weakly.

"Excuse me...pardon me...member of the press and associate here, let me through!" Valerie grunted as she managed to push her way past the line of soldiers with Grobnar son of Grobnar's help, where she promptly thrust a microphone into Nuken's face. "General Shinobu! What exactly is going on here?"

"Ah, Ms. Osagawara, and…your plus one. How lovely to see you again. Are you enjoying the party?" Nuken asked, after staring at her microphone for a moment like it was some sort of deadly weapon.

"I was up until this happened! What exactly is happening?" the Kirlia asked, gesturing to the writhing mass of Unown.

"That's classified information, but seeing as how you're already here…and broadcasting live, unfortunately, which means we can't exactly confiscate your camera…I suppose I might as well tell you that the creature—or amalgamation of creatures—behind us is an enemy sorcerer consorting with our foes in an attempt to undermine Pokémon Square's defenses and leave it vulnerable to the barbarian hordes. Among other things, we have reason to believe this sorcerer is responsible for the…'accident' resulting in His Grace's current condition and the 'incident' three hundred years ago at Wyvern Hill where Bellum and her coven nearly sacrificed His Grace to summon Giratina back to this plane. It was hiding right under our noses all this time, but with our recent alliance with Zorra Nogitsune, we were at last able to identify this rogue wizard and arrange for it to be apprehended using a trap graciously provided to us by the Ninetales of Mt. Freeze."

"Ah, so that explains the foxfire around the chains," Valerie said.

"And the scary shadow?" Grobnar son of Grobnar said, shivering.

"Yes, that too," Valerie said. She frowned. "Hold on a moment…General, are you telling me that this entire wedding party was just a trap to capture this enemy mage, and that you risked the lives of hundreds of Pokémon just to catch one traitor? Er, groups of traitors?"

"Of course. What better place but to do it than at a wedding where hundreds of some of the strongest Pokémon in both the Draconian Empire and all of Kanjohenn could be in attendance in case something went wrong?" Nuken said smoothly.

"…Oh. When you put it like that, it actually sort of makes sense," Valerie said slowly.

"And besides, do you really think I would have put my own bride in harm's way if I had the slightest fear that something bad might happen?" Nuken asked. Valerie, privately thinking that he might have given what everyone knew of the Shedinja's ruthlessness, wisely bit her tongue and said nothing. "I had every confidence that everything would work out as planned…although to be honest, I had my doubts about using Mr. Firebottom here considering he's not nearly as reliable or trustworthy as his brother, but he proved to exceed all expectations in carrying out the duty entrusted to him…although to be frank, I thought he could have been a bit more subtle in how he delivered the binding spell-laced cake, but seeing as he's a barbarian, I suppose I couldn't expect him to use anything other than brute force to solve a problem."

"I'm right here, you know," Ignik said.

"Yes, I noticed," Nuken said.

"And wait, you're telling me that you guys planned to use me to do this from the beginning?" Ignik asked incredulously. "Why me?"

"Because you're the absolute last person anyone would expect to be trusted with such an important task," Nuken said. "Considering your frequent and vocal claims of hatred for the town that you're currently indentured to, nobody would ever think to suspect that you might actually be doing something to protect it. They would never see it coming."

"That's…huh. That actually makes a lot of sense," Ignik said slowly.

"And your service to…*gasp*…the Empire and to Pokémon Square shall not…*wheeze*…go unrewarded," Rayquaza gasped as he waddled into view, flanked by Latios and Latias, sweat rolling down his face and exhaustion clear on his face from the effort of having to walk around with his heavy ceremonial garments on. "I hereby…*huff puff*…hereby present you with this…with this Medal of Valor…as proof of the great deed you have…performed…this day..." He struggled to lift his arm, only to find that it was too burdened by hoops and bangles and jewelry to budge. "Um…a little help here?"

"Uh, sure thing," Latios said, struggling to stifle a giggle.

"Oh dear…" Latias murmured, shaking her head in bemused pity.

A blue glow surrounded Rayquaza's arm, raising it up ninety degrees to point forward, a gold medal embossed with the Imperial seal with dragon wings sprouting from the sides hanging from a red ribbon dangling from his grip. Flashing the legendary dragons a relieved look, he lurched forwards towards Ignik, only to trip on the hem of his robes and start falling forward. He flailed his arms desperately to try and stop his descent, but the weight of all his ornaments of office were too much for him and were dragging him towards the ground. Fortunately, Latias and Latios caught him telekinetically before he could hit the ground. Unfortunately, they didn't catch his incredibly heavy crown, which slipped off his head and landed on Ignik's foot, causing the Monferno to shriek at the top of his lungs. "Um. Sorry."

Latias cringed. "Oh dear." She levitated the crown off of Ignik's foot, surprised that it actually took her some effort to do so despite her (literally) godlike power. Just what was that thing _made_ of? "Here, let me help." She touched Ignik's foot. Light washed over it, and instantly it was mended. "There. All better?"

"Um…I guess…thanks?" Ignik said uneasily as he looked at Latias, unsure whether he should be kneeling in gratitude and reverence or screaming in terror to a being that was not only a living god but had also rather impressively destroyed the supposedly invincible shield surrounding Mt. Blaze, allowing the Draconian army to slaughter his brethren. He picked a compromise and knelt in terror. He was used to that sort of thing.

"I don't suppose your people can edit that bit out?" Nuken whispered to Valerie.

"Um, no, this is going out live, remember?" she whispered back.

He sighed. "That's what I was afraid of."

"Really sorry about that. That's why I hate wearing that thing," Rayquaza said as he cracked his neck, relieved that he no longer had to carry such an excessive weight on it. (Physically, anyway, he still had the metaphorical weight of the Empire resting on his shoulders.) Oddly, his head looked a lot smaller without the crown, and since Bagon heads were huge naturally, that really emphasized how big the gaudy piece of headware was. "Anyway, where was I? Oh, yes, the medal! Er, here you go," he said, fumbling with the clip on the back of the ribbon and pinning it onto Ignik's chest. Ignik nearly screeched again when the pin pierced his skin, but managed to stop himself in time, though the pained look on his face showed he was far from comfortable.

"You shall also receive an honorary rank and title in the army and a sum of fifty thousand Poké…" Nuken started.

"Really? Sweet!" Ignik said excitedly.

"…Which shall be held in Pokémon Square's newest bank—since the last one was stolen by the manager, who happened to be the leader of a criminal organization embezzling everyone's funds to run his secret society and somehow nobody noticed-and will be made available to you upon the conclusion of your sentence," Nuken finished.

"Oh. Figures," Ignik said, scowling. "What, you can't just clean my record completely and give it to me now? I mean, I thought I did something important and saved the whole town or whatever!"

"You did, but you're not getting off that easily," Chuck said as he came up from behind Ignik and whacked him heartily on the back, nearly knocking him over. "Cheer up, though, we're cutting your sentence in half as thanks for your actions today!"

"Whoopee. That means I only have to wait ten years instead of twenty," Ignik groaned.

"It may become less than that with good behavior. And we may be willing to shorten it even further in the future in exchange for certain…tasks only a mon of your skills is capable of," Chuck said enigmatically.

"You mean being an expendable pawn?" Ignik asked unhappily.

"Precisely!" Chuck said cheerfully.

"Being a pawn isn't a bad thing, Ignik Firebottom!" Grobnar son of Grobnar said enthusiastically. "In chess, there are more pawns than any other piece!"

"…Grobnar son of Grobnar, that's because they're the weakest and most expendable piece in the game," Valerie said.

"Yes, until they reach the other side of the board and become a Queen!" Grobnar son of Grobnar said.

Ignik's eyes widened in alarm. "What? I don't wanna be a Queen! I'm a guy!"

"Actually, I'm sure we could find some task for you that would require you to disguise yourself as a woman…" Chuck said thoughtfully, much to Ignik's horror.

"Gee, thanks for giving them the idea, dimwit!" Ignik snarled at Grobnar son of Grobnar.

"You're welcome!" Grobnar son of Grobnar said obliviously.

"Excellent work, brother!" Goku, fresh off the dance floor, said happily to Ignik, giving the Monferno a pat on the back that nearly knocked him over. Again. Ignik was sort of getting tired of it. "I told them you could do it if you were given the chance."

"Gee, thanks," Ignik growled, now having yet another person to blame for his current situation. "That means so much to me…"

"I didn't think you could handle it, personally," Ete said drily, coming up next to Goku. "I'm happy to admit I was wrong."

"I'm not," Ignik grumbled.

"So, General Shinobu, Your Graces," Valerie said, directing her question to Nuken, Rayquaza, Latias and Latios. "Now that you've captured the traitor in our midst, what are you going to do with it?"

"That's classif-" Nuken started to say, only to be interrupted by Latias.

"We believe they can provide us with a great deal of information not only on the Nihilators and the barbarian forces serving under them here in Kanjohenn, but offer us more insight on what other followers of Giratina or the Ruler of Evil are doing to try and bring forth their master's return," the Guardian of Light explained. "In addition, this fiend has cast a number of malign spells during their stay here in Pokémon Square that we are hoping we'll be able to undo now that they are under our power."

"Would one of those spells happen to be the one that has reduced His Excellency to his current…ah, form?" Valerie asked, glancing at Rayquaza.

"Er, something like that, yes," Rayquaza said. "And also restoring Latias to her full power, since the sorceror's interference prevented her from incarnating with all of it when we summoned her here."

"That would be most excellent news, and certainly bodes well for future battles against our enemies!" Valerie said, delighted to hear this. "And afterwards, I suppose, you will execute this entity for crimes against the Empire?"

"Oh, we'd love to, but I'm not sure we can," Latios said regretfully. "They're deathless or something."

"What does that mean?" Grobnar son of Grobnar asked.

"It means that they can't die. Ever," Valerie said.

"We'll put that to the test soon enough," Nuken said coolly, floating forward to stare the Unown right in their eyes, not seeming even the slightest bit intimidated by the countless eons of existence reflected in their angry gaze. "And if they truly can't die…then we will certainly do our best to make them wish they could."

The Unown showed no fear in their eyes as they heard this. Nuken thought this foolish of them. He would soon make them see the error in underestimating him…

And he'd enjoy every second of it. These things had caused a great deal of suffering and humiliation towards his lieges, done their best to orchestrate the downfall of Pokémon Square and possibly the world, and had a hand in the death of his old master, the original Rayquaza. They had shown no mercy towards those whose lives they had ruined in their nefarious scheming, and so he would show none towards them, either.

Not that he would have, anyway. Not even if it _was_ his wedding day.

…

Meanwhile, in Chroma Ruins…

In a chamber deep beneath the surface of the earth, the flickering blue light of four torches casting weird shadows across the room, there stood a mirror atop a tall dais, a single sheet of rectangular glass held in an unadorned frame of some silvery metal. Lying before the dais were seven Pokémon: an Ekans, a Cherubi, a Medicham, a Ninjask, a Togetic, a Riolu, and a Cofagrigus. Most of the seven were fast asleep, wrapped up in color-coded sleeping bags to keep warm in the chilly tomb.

Evan the Ekans, wearing a nightcap and eyeshades, was sibilantly snoring loudly while dreaming of frolicking through a flowery field with a giant two-headed Seviper while wearing a dress. (Yeah…not gonna touch this one.) Mary turned over in her magenta sleeping bag and hugged what she thought was her Gengar plushie that absolutely nobody knew she carried around closer to her chest while whispering the name of her crush, unaware that Evan had learned about the plushie long ago and swapped it with Jerry the Cherubi shortly after both of them had gone to sleep. Jerry had awakened a while back, but was in no hurry to free himself from Mary's clutches, since it wasn't often he got a chance to sleep with a (sort of) hot girl who occasionally kissed him and made some _really_ sensual moans. The fact that they weren't really directed towards him only bothered him a little bit. A very happy and smiling Maren snuggled up against her lover in the white sleeping bag with red and blue triangles that they shared, unaware that she was actually holding a Substitute, Janine having gotten up a while back to stand watch and hadn't wanted to disturb her beloved's slumber. Nefertiti the Cofagrigus was lying motionless against the wall, her ghastly face and limbs absent, looking for all the world like a perfectly ordinary sarcophagus that wasn't haunted by an ancient spirit.

And as for Callista the Riolu…

"I do not think I have seen you move from that spot since Gary entered the mirror," Janine commented quietly to the young Riolu, who was sitting with crossed legs right before the dais, staring up at the mirror.

"I have not," Callista said without looking away.

"I would ask if you were uncomfortable, but I suppose as a Pokémon with such mastery over her own body as yourself, that's not really a problem, is it?" Janine asked.

"It is not," Callista agreed.

"I am uncertain if even I could match your patience and stillness. I have trained to be able to remain motionless for hours at a time…but it has been over a day now since Gary went into the mirror, and still you haven't moved, not to eat, not to sleep; you haven't even changed your pose in the slightest," Janine marveled. "How did you learn such control?"

"Patience is one of many virtues I have learned from the dead, both those who speak and those who do not," Callista said calmly. "I have learned how to slow down the internal processes of my body so that my heart beats only once an hour and I only need to draw breath once a day. I could make them even slower than that, but I risk killing myself…which I cannot afford to do, not yet, not until I find a way to achieve undeath and escape the bonds of mortality."

"That is incredible," said an amazed Janine. "I do not suppose you could teach me how to do that? Such skills could come in handy in my line of work."

"I cannot," Callista said apologetically. "I am only capable of this feat because of my upbringing as a child of the dead and my Aura powers. There is…too much life in you. You lack the mindset necessary to be like the dead…endless patience. Stone-like stillness. The ability to let go of time and watch the seconds fly past you, unblinking. To slow yourself to the point that even a trained physician could be mistaken into thinking you were dead…and the ability to strike instantly when necessary, springing into action to defend or to slay or do what you must to protect your tomb."

"Hmm…funny. Ninjas are taught not to fear death, and we do little more than deliver it to others…and yet you say I am too alive to be like the dead? That is quite the irony," Janine said with a chuckle. "There are certain berries and poisons that can slow a body down in the way you describe…but they take time to wear off, and don't allow you to simply snap out of it whenever you wish, like I presume you can."

"They do not, and I can," Callista agreed.

Janine shook her head in bemusement. "Hmmph. I am impressed. My brother is a Ghost, and I am uncertain if even he could match you for such patience. He gets too…restless. Like our uncle, I suppose. Maybe it comes from being one half of a whole, rather than 'truly' undead. Or being raised by the living. Or maybe it's just his nature, inherited from our bloodline, which has a…history of violence and sociopathy. What is the longest you have been able to manage without moving?"

"A month," Callista said.

"That long? Truly?" Janine asked, impressed.

"I'm sure I could have managed longer, if Cranger and Nefertiti hadn't gotten nervous and insisted I eat something," Callista grumbled. "To be fair, I _did_ eat rather a lot afterwards…and spent the next few days in a near-comatose state. Perhaps I overdid it."

"You think?" Janine asked dryly. "Still, that is an impressive feat. Do you think you will have to wait as long for Gary?"

"Perhaps. I will wait for as long as it takes; be it a month, a year, or even longer. I have waited all my life for him to come here…I can wait a little longer for him to return to me," Callista said.

Janine chuckled. "You sound like Mary. Do you have a crush on him too?"

"I do not. However, our destinies are intertwined. Our fates have been written in stone in the ancient halls of these ruins for countless millennia, long before either of us was born. He is the chosen hero who shall raise Lemewria back into the skies…and I am the one who shall rule over it, and restore it to its former glory. All my life, I have been training in anticipation of Gary's arrival, as well as to protect these ruins…and now that he is at last here, we may fulfill our destinies. Together," Callista said. "So you can understand why I may be a little fixated on him."

Janine nodded. "Indeed I can. To be honest, I am still not one hundred percent certain he has what it takes to be a 'legendary hero'…but Maren does, for some reason, and so I am willing to defer to her judgment in this matter. She has been with Gary longer than I, so knows him better than I would in that regard."

"…That is right. The two of you are lovers, correct?" Callista asked.

"Yes," Janine said.

"What…what is it like…to love?" Callista asked.

Janine glanced at Callista. "You have never experienced it yourself? There's no ghoul or spook or zombie you've had a crush on?"

"I have not," Callista confessed. "I have always been too busy training, or guarding…or preparing for my destiny. There was never time."

"Ah. I can relate. I was raised from birth to be a ninja…that doesn't leave much time for a conventional childhood or relationships," Janine admitted. "Still, once you take the throne I suppose you can start looking for a husband or consort. Or wife or consort, if you're into females. A couple of the Mirage Kingdom's royal family may be available, if you're interested. I could put a good word in for you after we've rescued Princess Sara, if you like. I'm sure she'll be more than happy to speak on behalf of one of her saviors."

"That would be much appreciated. Thank you," Callista said gratefully. "So, since you have more experience than I on the subject, what can you tell me about love?"

"I am probably not the best person to talk to about it," Janine said apologetically. "Emotions such as that are something Maren, as a more empathic species like Togetic, has always understood better than I. The best way I could put it is…that I would fight any battle, kill any enemy, go to almost any lengths just to make her smile. I would tear down the sky itself if I thought it would make her safe or happy. I would give my own life for her, even though doing so would kill my brother, whom I love with just as much intensity as I do Maren (not like _that_, don't give me that look), as well. Does that help at all?"

"Some, I think," Callista said after a moment's thought.

"Bear in mind, though, that while I care…_very _dearly for Maren, there are certain…limits. She understands this, or says that she does," Janine said.

Callista frowned. "Limits?"

"I love Maren with all my heart. However, if I had reason to believe that she was a traitor to the Crown, or were ordered to end her life, I would do it without a second thought," Janine said. "I would mourn her, yes…but I would still do it, for even though I love her, my loyalty to the Mirage Kingdom takes precedence over what my heart feels."

Callista stared at her in shock, actually breaking her vigil. "…That's horrible."

"It is the way of the ninja," Janine said. "From birth, we are trained not to put too much value in our ties to others. That is not to say we do not form bonds, strong bonds, just that…we are taught that our duty to our masters takes precedent over all else. We must be ready to sever our bonds if it is required of us, no matter…how painful it might be."

Callista's look turned to pity. "That is…very sad."

"It is what it is," Janine said with a shrug. "I suppose this must be hard for someone like you, whose power _springs_ from the heart, to understand, but…ninjas are not like other warriors. We fight from the shadows, using stealth and methods others might find dishonorable. We do things that many might find distasteful so that others do not have to. We have to be willing to do whatever it takes to fulfill our mission…to cut out our own hearts, if needs be. Victory is worth any sacrifice…and we will make any sacrifices we have to to ensure that victory."

Callista frowned. "You are right. I am not sure I understand."

Janine nodded. "And that is why you are not a ninja."

Callista nodded briefly. "Tell me…how did you and Maren fall in love? Even if you yourself claim not to understand love…and would be willing to kill her if…if it were necessary…I am still curious to know how someone who claims not to place much value in bonds could form one as strong as that."

Janine considered for a moment. She glanced back at the rest of Team Nightshade to make sure they were sleeping. Jerry wasn't, but he was being snuggled by Mary in her sleeping bag, so it was unlikely he could hear them. "What do you know of Maren? Of what she does?"

"I know that she is captain of her own ship, and was sent to help Team Nightshade on their mission," Janine said.

"And is that _all_ you know?" Janine asked.

Callista paused. "That depends. _Is_ there more to know?"

Janine narrowed her eyes. "You're the one with ancient prophecies that said we were coming. You tell me."

They regarded each other silently for a moment. Finally, Callista said, "If you're referring to her status as a member of the Mirage Kingdom Secret Service, then yes, I know."

Janine glanced back at her companions to see if any of them had heard. None of them stirred, save for the Togetic they were talking about, who nuzzled the Substitute lying next to her happily. Janine felt a twinge of guilt, but quashed it quickly. "Your ancient prophecies were _that_ thorough?"

"They were indeed," Callista said. "They even told me of _your_ past…including the parts you don't want Maren to know."

One of Janine's claws shot forward at lightning-speeds, operating on instinct as she sought to sever the throat of the Riolu who knew too much. Callista's paw shot up at even _faster_ speeds, catching Janine's claw between her fingers. A small rivulet of blood ran down her paw from where claw met fur. The two warriors stared at each other for a moment, red eyes regarding one another coldly. Finally, Callista said, "I have no intention of revealing your secrets to her. They are yours and yours alone to tell."

"She must never know," Janine said as she reluctantly withdrew her claw, noting that some of Callista's blood and fur was caught on it. "I would have to kill her if she found out. I would be required to. I should kill you for knowing as well."

"Blame those who came before me and left the knowledge of who the hero and his companions would be for us. I did not seek out this information, and I have no intention of sharing it," Janine said.

"You had better not, or I _will_ kill you," Janine said. She was rather unnerved. How could Pokémon or humans thousands of years ago have possibly known, in such great detail, about the lives of her and her companions? How much of their lives had been determined in advance, so far in advance that none of them or their most distant ancestors had even been _conceived_ yet? She shuddered, deciding that was a question best left to the philosophers. She was a ninja, it was not her place to ponder such things. "So you know that much about us, but not how I and Maren met?"

"I do, actually, but I would rather here it from your own lips," Callista said. "It would be more personal than simply reading it in ancient tablets so old that the remains of the ones who carved them no longer exist."

Another chill ran through Janine as she heard this. Had _any_ of her life been her choice, or had it all been decided long ago by beings so ancient nobody even remembered them? "…Very well. If you know that many secrets and will not reveal them, I suppose you can keep one more," Janine said grudgingly. "We first met a few years ago, on the security detail for Princess Sara's mother, the Queen, on a diplomatic mission to another kingdom. Maren, as Secret Service, guarded the Queen in plain sight, while I and a few other ninjas guarded her from the shadows. Maren, like many in her profession, distrusted and disliked those like me, who do our work in the darkness rather than in the light of day. Naturally, there was some animosity between us, because she didn't think that my kind were needed anymore in the current day and age, and I considered her as nothing more than an ornamental guard there for show while we ninjas did all the heavy lifting in the background. Although interaction between the two groups of guards was encouraged, we traditionally stuck to our own and didn't deal with each other outside of formal settings since there was too strong a chance of tensions running high and leading to an…altercation. As such, the only time we talked was usually to bicker about how one of us wasn't doing our job properly or heap insults on each other's chosen profession. As you can probably tell, it certainly didn't seem as if the two of us would become close friends or even more. The thought never occurred to us, anyway."

"And then things changed," Callista prompted.

Janine nodded. "Indeed they did. The diplomatic talks did not go well. On our way back to the Mirage Kingdom, there was a large-scale assassination attempt by political dissidents. The ambush severely wounded the Queen and caused her to be cut off from all of her entourage save for Maren and myself. We were forced to carry her to safety while the rest of our party did their best to hold the attackers off." She shook her head. "Things seemed…rather dire. The Queen was in bad shape, and we were trapped far from home in a country that was now potentially hostile towards us with no idea who we could trust. The fact that neither of us liked each other very much didn't help matters. However, we had no choice but to put aside our differences and work together to protect the Queen."

"And along the way, the two of you grew closer?" Callista asked.

Janine nodded. "Yes, as is common in situations like that where two strong-willed Pokémon who intensely dislike each other are forced to work together in a stressful high-risk scenario. Our mutual enmity eventually turned to friendship as we struggled together to reach the border and find safe passage back to the Mirage Kingdom, facing numerous dangers and saving each other's lives on more than one occasion along the way. After we made it back home and the Queen was safe, we decided to continue our friendship and became partners because of how well we worked together. Our felows thought it strange that we were so…close and amicable to each other. Jokes about us being in a relationship were inevitable, which naturally we either laughed off or retaliated with severe force."

"And then it turned out that you actually were in one and hadn't realized it?" Callista asked with a Ghost of a smile.

"Essentially, yes," Janine admitted ruefully. "It was rather a surprise to both of us when we each realized just how deeply our feelings for each other ran. Neither of us is certain just when our friendship turned into love. There was no sudden moment where it happened that we can tell—other than our mutual realization that we _did_ like each other, I mean—it was more like it was something that happened gradually and organically over time, our relationship evolving from one form to another."

"And without the use of any items either, I take it?" Callista joked.

"Items? What do you…ah. I see. Very clever," Janine said. "No. We did not use any items. Those came later." Callista stared at her blankly. "You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you? Er…I suppose you wouldn't have anything like that around here, would you?"

"Anything like what?" Callista asked in confusion.

"It's not important," Janine said quickly. "Anyway, that's how we got together, and we have stayed that way ever since."

Callista nodded. "A lovely story. Do you think the two of you will marry some day?"

"Unlikely, due to the nature of our work and the secrecy necessary in our everyday lives," Janine said. "In our 'civilian' covers, neither of us is even supposed to know each other. There really wouldn't be much of a point."

"Not even as a lovely ceremony to celebrate your love?" Callista asked, disappointed.

"And create a target for both our enemies and certain of our colleagues who disagree with our union to crash?" Janine countered. "No, it's better for us this way."

Callista frowned, clearly disagreeing, but said nothing. Her ears twitched, and suddenly she turned her head back to the mirror. "Gary is coming."

Janine did not question her or ask how she knew. She zipped soundlessly through the air back to her sleeping bag, dispelling her Substitute and neatly slipping into Maren's arms before the Togetic's body could register a shift in mass. She gently shook the Togetic. "Maren. Time to wake up."

She groaned and blinked blearily as she slowly regained consciousness. "Huh? Whuz goin' on?"

"Gary is returning," Janine said.

"Oh, izzat all," Maren yawned, going back to sleep. Janine counted to three. Maren's eyes flew open and she surged upwards. "GARY'S COMING BACK?"

"That's what I just said," Janine said in amusement.

Stirred by Janine's cry, the others began waking up one by one. "Ugh, he's back? At this hour?" Nefertiti groaned as she sprouted arms and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. "And I was having such a good dream, too…it was the one where I was stalking and mummifying archaeologists…that always makes me laugh."

"Gary?" Mary yelled, sitting upright…and abruptly realizing she was hugging something to her body. "You're not Gary!" she shouted in alarm when she realized she was holding Jerry.

"Um…no, but I could be if you wanted me to," he said, cheeks even redder than normal. Mary responded by flinging him into a wall so hard he was embedded into it. "So…worth it…" he gasped.

"Gary? Who? What? Where? When?" Evan yelped as his head shot up and looked around frantically, the end of his sleeping cap flying about and bonking him on the nose. "Ack! Sssomething'sss attacking me! Turn on the lightsss and ssshow yourssself!"

"The lights are on," Callista said.

"Then that must mean…" Evan gasped in horror. "I'm BLIIIIIND! NOOOOOOOOO! Now I will never gazzze upon the facccesss of my beloved Hisssssssa ever again!"

"Evan, you idiot, you're wearing your eyeshades," the rather grouchy Mary snapped, ripping the sleepwear in question off Evan's face.

"…Oh. I knew that!" Evan lied, eyes blinking blearily as he tried to adjust to the light.

"So, Gary's coming? Where is he?" Maren asked as she and the others approached the dais, where Callista was still seated.

The Riolu pointed at the mirror. "In there. And he shall return…now."

On cue, the surface of the mirror started rippling, as if it were some sort of mercurial liquid rather than glass, distorting the reflection. The surface bulged outwards as if something were coming through from the other side and then split apart as a rather disoriented Gary stumbled through, clutching something in one hand. The rupture sealed up behind him, the mirror hardening and resuming its original solidity. Gary shook his head in bewilderment as he struggled to catch his bearings, glancing down at his body. He frowned in dismay. "Awww…and I was just getting used to being handsome again…not that I'm not handsome now, but I was even more so back then!"

"GARY!" everyone shouted.

"Huh?" Gary glanced up just in time to see Mary, Evan, and Jerry rush up to the dais and tackle him in a hug. His face lit up as he saw their ecstatic faces, though his grin flickered somewhat as he saw the overjoyed look in Mary's eyes, remembering the mirror spirit's parting words before it had sent him back to the real world. "Guys…GUYS! It's you! Oh mon, am I happy to see you all! It feels like I was in there for months!" he said, hugging them back and deciding to table the matter of Mary's feelings for later.

"Really? Wasss it one of thossse 'hour on the inssside, yearsss on the outssside' thingsss?" Evan asked, intrigued.

"Wouldn't that be 'hour on the outside, weeks on the inside' in this case?" Jerry asked.

"Eh, clossse enough," Evan said.

"Uh, no, it wasn't really _that_ long, it just _feels_ like it was forever," Gary said. "I think in reality it was just a few hours…though I'm not really sure time had any meaning in that strange, mirrored place…how long was it out here?"

"A little over a day," Maren said.

Gary blinked in surprise. "That long? Really? Wow, we really _did_ talk a lot, didn't we?"

"'We?'" Janine asked.

"Me and the spirit of the mirror," Gary explained. "Handsome devil. Looked a lot like yours truly, actually."

"Well, it _is_ a mirror spirit, so I guess that makes sense," Nefertiti said.

"Were you able to retrieve the piece of the Compass?" Janine asked.

"Royal Seal," Callista corrected.

"Whatever," the Ninjask grunted.

"That old thing? Yeah, I have it right here!" Gary said, opening his closed hand to reveal the artifact they'd come here for.

"Wow! It looksss…exxxactly like the lassst three. A completely unremarkable pieccce of broken glasss. Laaaaame!" Evan complained.

"Evan! Do you have any idea what Gary had to go through to get that?" Mary snapped.

"No, and neither do you!" Evan countered.

"That's true, actually. Gary, what _did_ you have to go through to get that?" Maren asked.

"He had to learn a great truth about himself," Callista reminded her. "Depending on the nature of that truth, it may not be something he can share with us."

"Actually, this is something I think I _should_ share with you," Gary said, his grin turning into a frown. "Because while it's mainly about me…to a large extent it deals with all of us too. With our destinies. Or rather…what someone has decided is _supposed_ to be our destinies, and the lengths to which they're willing to go to make it so…"

And it was there, in the dark catacombs of Chroma Ruins, that Gary told his friends of Team Quantum…and the role that these enigmatic time travelers had in shaping all of their lives…

…

Meanwhile, outside Aegis Cave…

The most important game of Scrabble the world had ever seen had gone on for what felt like months, but was in reality just a few hours. As the immense horde of monsters spawned from the darkest pits RPGs had to offer watched on and Leviathan restlessly flew in circles overhead, Mie and Mewgle laid one word after another down on the gameboard as they exchanged turn after turn, using their knowledge of wordplay as well as their reality-warping abilities to their fullest, using them to spell out words that would normally be impossible to play across spaces that would normally not be able to fit them, in the process completing and creating new words that few official Scrabble dictionaries on that world would count as actual words but others in distant, far-off corners of the Omniverse might. They racked up tremendous scores as they laid claim to every multiplier and bonus space on the board, and in the process had used up just about every letter tile or space remaining in the game. The players were now each in their final turns, carefully scrutinizing the board and their last few tiles to see if they could pull out one last winning combination that would break the virtual deadlock they had been in for the last several minutes and grant one of them victory over the other.

_Of course_, Mewgle thought to himself with a sinister grin as he looked over the tiles on his side of the field one last time, just to make sure that they would fit where he wanted them to. _There really was never any question as to who would win this. After all, even if the Unown _can_ alter probability just as well as I can, Leo is the only one capable of beating me in a game…and formidable an opponent as these guys are, they're no Leo!_ "Are you ready to lose, little girl? Because I've found the last word I needed…the one that will name me winner of this game and condemn you and your little crossword pals to the bowels of my Leviathan!" Leviathan roared as it heard this, and Mewgle's army of cheerleaders howled joyously at this knowledge.

Mie's face did not lose its composure. IF YOU BELIEVE THAT YOU HAVE WON, THEN GO AHEAD. SHOW ME WHAT YOU HAVE.

"With pleasure!" Mewgle said, levitating his tiles into the air and placing them on the board one after another, slamming each down so hard that they sounded like the clap of doom. "K! W! Y! J! I! B! O! KWYJIBO!" he declared, making victory signs with his fingers. "That's 22 points, plus triple word score, plus 50 points for using all my letters, which means I! WIN! OH YEAH! AHAHAHAHAHA!" His minions cheered raucously, shaking the plain as lightning bolts shot down all around the demon.

KWYJIBO? YOU STOLE THAT FROM THE SAMPSONS! Mie accused.

Mewgle smirked and folded his arms. "So what if I did? That doesn't make it any less valid a word, unless you want that 'sqzlxxx' you whipped out earlier to be thrown out, too!" he said, pointing at an unpronounceable word lying on the board. "And besides, a kwyjibo really _is_ a big, dumb, balding North American ape with no chin and a short temper. In some North Americas, anyway." He grinned. "And that stupid ape just earned me 150 points, vaulting me _way_ into the lead, and unless you can come up with something that's even _better_, you might as well just give up now, because whatever you have left can't _possibly_ beat that!"

As the monsters hooted and howled and raved and banged their weapons together and shook the earth with their stomps, Mie looked over her few remaining letters for a moment before shaking her head sadly and closing her eyes. YOU ARE CORRECT. I CANNOT BEAT THAT WITH THE LETTERS I HAVE LEFT. I AM AFRAID I HAVE NO OPTION LEFT…BUT TO CONCEDE DEFEAT. The cheers of triumph from the monsters at this admission were deafening, and anyone within earshot could easily be mistaken for thinking the world was coming to an end…and in a way, they would be right.

Mewgle threw back his head and laughed maniacally. "Nyahahahahaha! Booyah! In your face! Ha, as if there was really ever a doubt that anyone other than _me_ could win this! I'll admit, you put up a good fight for just a little girl, but for someone who supposedly knows as much as the Unown do, you'd think you'd have realized that it was IMPOSSIBLE for you to defeat me!"

YOU ARE CORRECT, Molly said sadly, her head hung low. IT WAS FOOLISH OF ME TO PRESUME I COULD DEFEAT A GAMEMASTER AS SKILLED AS YOU.

"That's right, it was!" Mewgle said without the slightest bit of humility. "And for your foolishness, you and your little friends will rot in Leviathan's stomach for all eternity!" He snapped his fingers, causing the great beast's head to tilt down towards him. "Oh, Leviathan! It's CHOW TIME!"

With a shriek of delight, Leviathan opened its jaws and began its feast. It inhaled deeply, creating a vortex that whipped up sand and dust across the plain as it began sucking everything within range into its mouth. The Unown floating freely around Molly were the first to go, spelling AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! as they were torn out of their elaborate formations and orbits and vanished down the monster's gullet. The Unown tiles they had used for their game were next, rattling as they were torn from their places on the great gameboard and flung into the air, flying into the Leviathan's maw as easily as their lighter brethren had been. Mie was last, her head bowed. She did not struggle or scream or make any attempt to resist—though she probably couldn't scream, since none of her friends were left to form words for her—she simply floated into the air and into Leviathan's mouth, as if she had calmly accepted her end.

This made little sense to Mewgle, given that, considering the fate she _knew_ lay in store for her, she should have acted a lot more frightened than she had been. He didn't spend too much time thinking about it, though—shrugging it off as one of those 'weird Unown' things—and danced up in down in joy as Leviathan closed its mouth and swallowed, licking its lips as its latest meal was integrated into the tremendous mass of tortured souls making up its body. "Yes! Kyahahaha! Another victory for the M-demon!" He grinned as his minions cheered raucously. "Not only that, but once again I've proven myself superior to that putz Deoxys…when HE fought Molly, he didn't even BOTHER trying to kill her or absorbing her soul or anything like that, he just goaded her into using more and more power until she blew herself right out of the multiverse! Which would have been well and good if she'd erased herself from existence too, but she didn't, she got to sit out the whole darn conflict without suffering even a LITTLE bit, and for a guy whose whole MO was torture and terror to the extreme, that seems a bit like a letdown, don't you think? He practically LET HER get away, that idiot! Just another reason why I would have made a better ruler of all creation than he would…" His grin twisted into a mask of utter hatred. "And I might have become the Gamemaster of all reality, too, if it hadn't been for that damn Squirtle! But he's not going to stop me this time. Thanks to Leviathan, I've just taken care of the first of the two so-called 'Chosen' who got left out of the final battle the last time around, and soon enough I'll be able to take out the second, my eternal rival! And then there will be NOBODY left to stop me!"

He paused. "…Did I really just say all that out loud? I've practically invited fate to come over and take a big steaming dump on all my plans…I've really gotta stop monologuing and getting overconfident, it's caused me to lose before. I mean, yeah, it's not like anyone except Leo can really stop me thanks to my unbeatable gaming skillz, and because I'm just that AWESOME, but that doesn't mean the guy I'm fighting can't pull out something that takes even _me_ by surprise. Like those Sam and Max weirdoes and that…underwater helicopter…how did it _do_ that?" He shook his head. "Eh, whatever. Enough of that, it's time to do what I came here to do in the first place: prevent the revival of one of the few beings who might actually pose a threat to me aside from Leo!" He pointed at Aegis Cave. "Leviathan! Consume that cave and everything in it!"

Leviathan growled in assent and pointed its head towards the cave. It drew back, preparing to inhale…and hesitated. An uncomfortable look passed over its head, and a rumbling noise could be heard from somewhere in its gut. Mewgle frowned. "What is it, boy? Did those transdimensional beings give you gas or something? Come on, your digestive system should be more than capable of handling…those…what the?"

Hundreds of glowing sigils appeared on the surface of Leviathan's body as its look of discontent grew. _Unown_ sigils to be exact. As Mewgle looked on in disbelief, the light from the sigils spread to cover the figures of the tortured souls closest to them making up Leviathan's skin, causing them to writhe and thrash and moan even more than usual…and then pause, an oddly serene expression on their faces. Right before their faces, along with the rest of their bodies, started melting, sloughing off of Leviathan's body and floating into the air, where they started to turn transparent and vanish in sparkles of light, their moans of pain turning into cries of exultation. In disappearing, they exposed the next layer of tortured souls making up Leviathan's body in the areas they'd been a part of, which had not seen the light of day in quite some time. The light from the Unown sigils enveloped them as well, and they began melting away like their predecessors. Leviathan writhed about and wailed in alarm as this happened, watching in dismay as huge chunks of its body began to dissolve, exposing more damned souls and causing those to break free as well, losing more and more of its mass by the second.

"What…what the FUCK is going on?" Mewgle shrieked as his minions murmured in concern. "Are the Unown doing this? But…but how? I beat them! I _beat_ them!"

DID YOU, NOW? Mie asked as she appeared next to Mewgle in a flash of light, Unown swirling around her to spell out her words.

"You? But…but you were eaten! I SAW you get eaten! And whatever Leviathan eats can NEVER escape!" Mewgle protested incredulously.

THAT MIGHT BE THE CASE FOR MOST CONVENTIONAL ENTITIES…BUT WE UNOWN EXIST BEYOND THE REGULAR CONFINES OF TIME AND SPACE, Mie said with as much smugness as you could put in a bunch of floating words. WHICH MEANS WE ARE BEYOND THE CONFINES OF THE LEVIATHAN'S STOMACH, AS WELL. BUT WE DECIDED THAT WHILE WE WERE IN THERE, WE MIGHT AS WELL TAKE THE OPPORTUNITY TO LIBERATE A FEW OF THE SPIRITS YOUR MONSTER HAS DEVOURED.

"But how? I didn't think anything short of completely destroying Leviathan—which is virtually impossible, so far as I know—could do something like that!" Mewgle protested.

SIMPLE. WE EASED THEIR PAIN USING OUR PSYCHIC POWERS, Mie said. THE EXCRUCIATING TORMENT THEY ENDURE FORCES THEM TO CLING TO EACH OTHER OUT OF AGONY, THEIR TORTURE CREATING AN ATTRACTIVE FORCE AS POWERFUL AND INEXORABLE AS ANY GRAVITATIONAL SINGULARITY. BY RELIEVING THEM OF THEIR PAIN, HOWEVER, THEY WERE NO LONGER BOUND TO EACH OTHER. THEY ARE NOW ABLE TO DRIFT FREE FROM THE AMALGAMATED MASS THAT IS LEVIATHAN'S SKIN. AND THE MORE SOULS LEVIATHAN LOSES…

"The weaker it becomes, because those souls are what makes it the monster it is!" Mewgle realized in horror. "Crap! Leviathan, you've gotta spit up the Unown! They're doing all sorts of bad shit to your insides, you have to get rid of them!"

Nodding in agreement, Leviathan flicked the end of its tail upwards and jabbed it into the back of its throat. Its eyes crossed and its face turned green, and with a great hacking it vomited, spitting out the countless dozens of Unown it had just swallowed along with a few hundred semi-digested souls that had yet to be fully incorporated into its mass.

Mewgle sighed in relief as the Unown sigils on Leviathan's sides vanished and souls stopped melting off of the monster's body. "Phew...just in the nick of time, too!"

IS IT? YOU HAVE STILL LOST A SIGNIFICANT AMOUNT OF LEVIATHAN'S MASS, AND WITH IT, A GOOD BIT OF ITS POWER, Mie said, pointing to the monster, who now had several large chunks taken out of its sides, revealing countless very pale souls who were weeping and wailing due to exposure to air and sunlight, which they hadn't had in a very, very long time. Leviathan frowned and poked some of its wounds with the end of its tail, grimacing as the souls it prodded wailed miserably.

Mewgle made a face. "Okay, yeah, that is somewhat inconvenient…but Leviathan's still more than strong enough to take whatever other wordplay you can throw at it, and so am I!" Mewgle's minions cheered in support of their master, jeering and booing the Unown.

Mie was unfazed by the taunts and insults. THAT MAY BE TRUE, BUT WE HAVE NO INTENTION OF ENGAGING YOU FURTHER.

"Because you know you'd lose?" Mewgle said mockingly.

NO, BECAUSE WE HAVE ALREADY ACCOMPLISHED WHAT WE NEEDED TO. BY DISTRACTING YOU WITH THE GAME OF SCRABBLE AND WEAKENING YOUR MONSTER, WE HAVE BOUGHT THE HEROES YOU WERE CHASING ALL THE TIME THEY NEEDED TO LOCATE AND AWAKEN THAT WHICH THEY SOUGHT WITHIN AEGIS CAVE.

"That which they…" Mewgle's eyes widened in horror. "NO!"

YES, Mie said with a cold grin. YOU ARE TOO LATE.

"Not just yet, you're not! Leviathan, you're about to get back all the weight you lost, plus extra!" Mewgle called to Leviathan, who had been slurping up some of the dazed and frail souls it had thrown up. "Devour Aegis Cave and everything in it, quickly!"

Leviathan nodded, turned towards the supernaturally black entrance of the cave and opened its mouth…

And suddenly a torrent of yellow flames roared out of the cave mouth, causing the Leviathan to flinch and recoil and the monsters that had been standing too close to the opening to scream and push each other over in their desperate rush to get out of the way, many that were too slow to flee falling to the ground as the flames consumed them. "NO!" Mewgle cried, eyes bulging out of their sockets as the flames rose high into the air and spread out with a mighty shriek, vaguely resembling some kind of giant bird.

YES, Mie repeated calmly.

"You fools! Do you realize what you've just done?" Mewgle raved furiously as the flames began to take shape above them, solidifying into the magnificent figure of a phoenix much like Ho-Oh. Unlike the legendary Rainbow Bird, however, this firebird's plumage was solid gold, its tail feathers were shorter and not quite as impressive, its neck was thicker, its head was larger and rounder, its beak was short and closer in resemblance to that of a Blaziken's, and its crest went straight back rather than sticking up. In addition, its legs were _much_ longer, somewhat like a Doduo's, ending in impressively sharp talons. "You've released one of the only beings in the Omniverse capable of successfully standing against me…_my ex-wife!_" The magnificent phoenix screeched at him. "Yes, I'm aware I'm several millennia late on my alimony check! Why do you think I sealed you away in the first place? You wouldn't stop _bitching_ about it!"

Leviathan snarled and hissed at the phoenix, who screeched back without fear, spitting flames. Wabbaku, Gardenia, Michael, and Mondo appeared just underneath the fiery bird, walking through the flames unharmed as Mewgle's monster army stumbled over themselves to get away from the holy fire. "Oh, mon, it feels _really_ good to breathe fresh air again," Mondo sighed in relief, wiping away some slimy sweat. "It feels like we were in the cave for months!"

"We might have been, considering the way time works differently in there," Michael said. He frowned when he saw what was arrayed before them. "So…that's Mewgle?"

Wabbaku nodded gravely. "The demon himself…"

"Y-yikes!" Gardenia shivered. "I thought some of the things back in that cave were scary…but just _look_ at all these guys! And there's the Leviathan again! It looks even bigger and badder than it did the last time!"

"Do not worry," Wabbaku said, smiling at her reassuringly. "Against the power of his former mate, the great Choc-Oboh, he cannot harm us."

"Oh, you think so, do you?" Mewgle snarled angrily. "You seem to forget that my ex there's only just woken up, while I've been out and about for quite some time…plus, I have Leviathan on my side, a monster so horrible it EATS things like her for breakfast!"

NORMALLY, YES, THAT WOULD BE THE CASE, Mie said with a smirk, floating in front of Mewgle. HOWEVER, SINCE WE GAVE THEM ENOUGH TIME TO USE THEIR SPIRIT POWERS TO FULLY REINVIGORATE CHOC-OBOH, AND BECAUSE WE WERE ABLE TO WEAKEN YOUR MONSTER BY FREEING SEVERAL OF THE SOULS IT HAD EATEN…I DO NOT THINK THE ODDS ARE STACKED SO FIRMLY IN YOUR FAVOR ANYMORE.

Mewgle's eyes bulged. "Wait, WHAT?"

"Great spirit!" Wabbaku cried, pointing at the demon. "We have revived you to aid us in battling your ancient enemy. Show him that the power you possess has not diminished despite your centuries of imprisonment!"

With a furious shriek, Choc-Oboh spread its wings wide and flapped them down hard, sending waves of golden fire blasting outwards in every direction, engulfing everything around it for miles. The army of monsters screamed in terror as they were consumed by the blaze, and Leviathan reared back, howling as the holy flames washed over it, burning at its very essence and tearing _millions_ of souls from its body. Mewgle cried in pain and clutched the mark on his chest, doubling over as the suffering of his pact partner fed into him through their bond. Mie, untouched by the flames, smiled serenely as she watched the demon and his pet writhe in agony, while the four heroes responsible for releasing this great power looked at what they had wrought in astonishment.

After the fire had raged for several seconds, Choc-Oboh seemed to decide enough was enough and brought its wings back up with a great crack, the gust of wind generated by this sudden motion causing the flames to dissipate, revealing that every single monster in Mewgle's army had been completely disintegrated, ashes raining down from the sky and coating the ground, though none seemed to fall on any of the Unown geoglyphs. Mewgle and Leviathan were still present, but in very bad shape. Leviathan had lost a great many souls, and as a result had shrunken considerably in size and length. Its body had become much thinner due to losing so many layers of soul armor, and there were several areas where its false flesh had been worn away completely, revealing patches of roiling purple-black energy. At least half of its face had been torn off as well, revealing there was a mass of purple-black energy underneath it roughly conforming to a serpentine figure. Mewgle was hunched over on the ground, both his wings, one ear, and just about all of his skin burned off, revealing his musculature, bones, and some organs. Blood and other vital fluids spattered the ground around him as he huffed and choked and wheezed, trembling as steam rose from his partially cooked form.

"…Okay, that was cool," said a stunned Mondo.

"I knew our ally would be powerful, but not _this_ powerful!" said the amazed Michael.

"I think even the ancestors are impressed…they did not expect Choc-Oboh to be _this_ effective!" said an impressed Wabbaku.

"And if it can do this much damage in just one attack, we may not even _need_ Leo to beat Mewgle!" Gardenia said eagerly.

"…Ha…haha…hahahahahahaha! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Mewgle laughed maniacally, causing Gardenia to squeak and hide behind Wabbaku as the wounded demon managed to stagger to his feet, revealing the horror that was his skinless, skull-like face, a visage so terrible it could not be described in print. The mortals paled at the awful sight, and Mondo threw up. "You…you think…you think we'll go down that easily?" he cried, spitting blood. He slapped a meaty, bony hand over the one remaining patch of intact skin on his body: the Leviathan mark burned into his chest. "That was…a pretty nice opening move…but I am the King of Games…and I will not lose! NOT NOW! NOT TO HER! NOT EVER AGAIN!" With a spurt of blood, ribs shot out of the side of his left forearm, muscle membranes forming between them as the top of his forearm morphed into a grotesque simulacrum of a Duel Disk made of bone and muscle. His deck appeared in the organic Disk's card holder, and without even looking Mewgle drew several cards which he spread out on his membranous card slots. "I summon…Herb the Chaos Stalwart, Imperator Mateus the Despot, Storm of Light—Envoy of the Void, Golubaeser the Dark Moon, Zeedeath—Emissary of the Void, Kafka the Mad Clown, One-Winged Angel-Sefirot, Ultimania the Time Mage, Genome Reaper-Koja, Jacht the Sublimely Magnificent, Judge Magister-Noah, and Gilgamesh the Wandering Swordsmon!"

In twelve flashes of light, the ten villains Mewgle had attacked the 10th Annual Lu-Gi-Oh World Championships at Mahjong City with appeared before him, along with two new monsters: a bitter-looking armored Growlithe wearing a black cape with twin swords and an eight-armed Machamp with white and red face paint wearing red and gray armor with yellow accents, gray shorts with polka dots, a horned hood, and numerous different weapons strapped to his back. Mondo gasped in horror. "Oh snap, it's nearly all the villains from Last Legend: Dissudo!"

"Last what?" everyone else asked him. Mondo stared at them incredulously and shook his head in pity.

Mewgle grinned, something that would haunt their nightmares for a very long time. (Not that he wasn't already grinning, due to his face being burned off and exposing his teeth constantly, but still.) "Ah, someone who recognizes a quality game! That's good, it would have been a waste for me to kill you using monsters you didn't know!"

"The only one who will die today is them!" Wabbaku said.

"Yeah! Get 'em, Choc-Oboh! Fry them like the others!" Mondo cried. Choc-Oboh screeched, spreading her wings to do just that.

"Ah-ah-ah, not so fast, loverbird! Ultimania, use Time Compression!" Mewgle ordered. The evil Jynx grinned sinisterly and snapped her fingers. Choc-Oboh stopped in mid-attack, stiffening and turning gray, a startled look frozen on her face. The four Pokémon beneath her looked up in alarm. "Wh-what just happened?" Michael asked in surprise.

"Why isn't she attacking?" Gardenia yelled.

"She's been frozen in time…" Wabbaku whispered in horror.

"That's right! There's a reason my babe Ultimania here is called 'the Time Mage!'" Mewgle said, winking at Ultimania, who grinned and blew him a kiss. "And with my old flame unable to act, there's nothing to stop me from finishing her off…and you as well! Leviathan, it's feeding time! Let's see if we can't build you back up with the rich juicy spiritual essence of my ex! And everyone else…KILL THEM!" Leviathan howled hungrily and lunged towards the paralyzed Choc-Oboh, while the twelve villains assembled before Mewgle roared and started charging across the field towards the four heroes, waving their weapons and charging their attacks. The four gulped and tensed, readying themselves for battle…

Only for a hexagonal energy barrier with Unown forming the joints to materialize before the heroes, Leviathan slamming into it face-first and recoiling, hissing in surprise. The villains hesitated in their charge, unnerved by the crystalline figure hovering before them, crackling with power. YOU SHALL NOT PASS, the Unown spelled over Mie's head.

Mewgle growled in frustration. "Oh, come on! You want to go another round? Did you already forget that I trounced you the last time?"

YOU DID, AND WE GOT YOU BACK BY SEVERELY WEAKENING YOUR PET, Mie said, causing Leviathan to snarl furiously.

"Yeah, which is why he won't be eating you this time…he'll just blast you and your little friends back to your other dimension!" Mewgle said.

THAT SHALL NOT HAPPEN ON THIS OR ANY OTHER DAY, Mie said, narrowing her eyes. She extended her arm, a beautiful crystalline Duel Disk engraved with Unown sigils and an Unown eye forming the life-point counter materializing on her arm. YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN PLAY A CHILDREN'S CARD GAME.

"I thought you hated Lu-Gi-Oh! Which is blasphemy!" Mewgle said in surprise.

I DO. BUT SINCE THAT'S THE FORM YOU'VE CHOSEN TO MANIFEST YOUR POWER IN THIS INSTANCE, I MIGHT AS WELL DO THE SAME, ESPECIALLY SINCE I CHOSE THE METHOD OF OUR LAST BATTLE, Mie said.

Mewgle grinned. "Wait, then you're challenging me to a Duel? Seriously? Have you already forgotten that I can't be beaten in a game?"

I HAVE NOT, WHICH IS WHY THIS IS NOT A GAME, Mie said. AFTER ALL, IF IT WERE, WOULD YOU BE ABLE TO SUMMON TWELVE MONSTERS TO THE FIELD AT ONCE…OR WOULD I BE ABLE TO DO _THIS?_ She waved a hand, and suddenly eighteen stone slabs with strange-looking Pokémon engraved on them fell from the sky and landed in a line between her and Mewgle's warriors. I SUMMON THE WARRIORS OF HARMONY…COME FORTH, HERO OF LIGHT, FIRION THE WEAPONS MASTER, ODDISH KNIGHT, CECIL THE BRIGHT MOON, KAIN THE BETRAYER, BUTZ THE WANDERING HERO, TERRATIC, CUMULONIMBUS, TOUGH TAFI, STORM THE GLOOMY, LAGUNA THE CHEERFUL SNIPER, GENOME THIEF-ZIDAHN, TEEDUS THE BLITZ ACE, GRAND SUMMONER YONA, PRISHE THE ETERNAL, WISE SHANTOTTO, SKY PIRATE-VAN, AND LIGHTNING THE LA'CIE!

The slabs shimmered, and one by one the warriors depicted on them appeared: a white-haired Gallade wearing ornate blue and gold armor and a yellow cape, a white Ninetales carrying as many weapons on its back as he had tails, a red Oddish with white feathers sprouting from his top in place of weeds, an Absol in immaculate white armor with a dark blue cape, a pitch-black Vaporeon wearing a helmet and armor reminiscent of dragons with a lance clutched in its tail, a cheerful-looking brown-furred Meowth with a red sword, a frail-looking light blonde Togetic brimming with a powerful aura, a Raichu with ridiculously spiky hair and an even more ridiculously large sword, a rather buxom and beautiful Lucario female with fearsome-looking gloves, a brown-furred grouchy-looking Luxray with a pendant looking like a winged Luxray dangling from his neck and a strange sword slung on his back, a cheerful regular-colored Luxray with cannons and other explosive weapons wrapped around his body, a cheeky-looking blonde Monferno wielding a double-bladed Swellow (the weapon, not the Pokémon), a yellow and blue-furred Latios clutching a sword that looked like it was made of water, a Latias wearing white robes and wielding a staff, a pointy-eared purple-furred Mienshao, an arrogant blonde Clefairy in a little black dress holding a staff, a blonde male Nidoran with a sword and vest, and a pink-furred sour-faced Delcatty wielding a complex mechanized sword. The villains growled angrily, and the new warriors narrowed their eyes and raised their weapons. Mewgle snarled. "Oh, I see…you're bringing in _those_ guys, huh?"

"Oh wow, this is so cool! It's just like Dissudo 013 (Tredecim) Last Legend!" Mondo said excitedly.

"…It's like what now?" said a very confused Michael.

"And what kind of a name is that, anyway?" Gardenia asked skeptically. "How many of those were even real words?"

"Dissudo! You know, the super-cool fighting game crossover for the Last Legend series?" Mondo prompted. They all stared at him blankly. He sighed in exasperation. "Oh, why do I even bother?"

"Huh, so it's an epic battle of good vs. evil you want here, is it?" Mewgle said. "Fine, if you're really that desperate, I'll play along…but as you should know by now, I don't play fair, and just because your troops outnumber mine doesn't mean a damn thing, especially because now that all twelve Warriors of Chaos have been activated on my side of the field at one point or another, that means I can Special Summon their master…the ultimate enemy of the Last Legend series…DISCORD, GOD OF CHAOS!"

The earth shook and split open behind Mewgle as a tremendous statue of a Pokémon unlike any the heroes had ever seen before rose from beneath the surface. It didn't even look like a Pokémon proper, but rather some kind of deranged mixture of several different species, a twisted and horrific chimera reared back with its head pointed at the sky in a ferocious roar. It had the head of a Ponyta, the beard of a Beartic, the fang of a Pachirisu, the tongue of an Ekans, the right antler of a Sawsbuck, the left horn of a Cobalion, the right arm of a Luxray, the left talon of a Braviary, the body of a Dragonair, the right leg of a Sceptile, the left leg of a Virizion, the right wing of a Woobat, the left wing of a Swellow, and the tail of a Seviper.

Mondo gasped in horror. "Oh no…not _that_ guy! Oh shit, we're screwed!"

Wabbaku and Michael were similarly unnerved. "I don't understand…that creature looks so bizarre…and yet the ancestors seem almost as terrified of it as they are of Leviathan. What _is_ that thing?" Michael wondered.

"I do not know…but whatever it is, it can't possibly be good…" Wabbaku murmured.

"Don't you guys think you're overreacting? It's big and all, but it's kinda goofy-looking. Plus, it's just a statue. What's it going to do, stand there and look intimidating?" Gardenia asked skeptically. "Or maybe fall on us?"

IT WILL DO FAR WORSE THAN THAT, said the shocked Mie. MEWGLE, YOU FOOL! YOU REALLY THINK YOU CAN CONTROL SOMETHING LIKE THAT?

"Hey, I can control Leviathan pretty well, can't I? With my main mon backing me up, there's no monster I can't tame…including this one!" Mewgle bragged. "So come on out, Discord, and show these sticks-in-the-mud a good time!"

A crack ran up the middle of the statue, and a dark pulse emanated from right around where its heart would have been. There was a rumble, and suddenly the sky filled with storm clouds…except there was something…off about them. "Are those…_pink?_" asked an astonished Gardenia.

"They're even pinker than I am," Mondo agreed. "In fact…" He squinted up at the clouds. "…If I know my food—and I do!—then those are…cotton candy?"

"What? That doesn't make any sense!" Gardenia protested.

"It certainly does not," the perplexed Wabbaku agreed.

"Yeah…um, what's cotton candy?" Michael asked.

Mondo regarded the Leafeon with a mix of shock, sorrow, and pity. "…You poor, sheltered, primitive thing. You have no idea what you're missing, living in those hovels out in the wilderness."

"You slept in those 'hovels' last night," Michael said, getting angry. "You seemed to like them pretty much then! You even complimented us on their design and comfort level!"

"I just said that so as not to hurt your feelings," Mondo said, causing Michael to growl and develop an eye twitch. "Anyway, cotton candy is basically a form of spun sugar put on a stick and served to people at fairgrounds and circuses."

"Ah, I see," Michael said with a nod. He paused. "…What are fairgrounds and circuses?"

Mondo facepalmed. Gardenia shook her head pityingly. "You poor, deprived child."

"Why do you guys keep saying that?" Michael snapped in exasperation.

The cotton candy clouds rumbled and opened up, pouring rain upon the plain. But just like the clouds, there was something…off about the rain.

"Why is it brown?" Gardenia asked as she extended her arms, her body absorbing the liquid as it fell on her. It tasted very sweet. Almost like…no. It couldn't be! That didn't even make _sense!_

Michael stuck out his tongue and caught some of the brown raindrops on it. "Hmm…that's strange. It doesn't taste like rain. It tastes…good, but not like rain"

"I'm not sure it's a good idea for you to put that in your mouth," Wabbaku said warily.

Naturally, Mondo had disregarded this and Transformed into a Pelipper so he could catch as much of the brown liquid in his huge pail-like beak as he could. "Why _wouldn't_ you want to put it in your mouth? It's _chocolate milk! _Freaking _chocolate milk_ is raining from the sky! It's a miracle is what it is!" he said excitedly.

Gardenia gasped. "Oh wow, that _is_ cool!"

"What's chocolate?" Michael asked. Gardenia and Mondo stared at him in horror. Mondo's jaw dropped, and since it was full of chocolate milk he splattered it all over the ground. "And would you stop reacting like that?"

"This…does not make any sense…and feels _wrong_…" Wabbaku murmured uneasily. "The spirits are restless…this is a perversion of the natural order!"

THAT IS THE POINT, Mie said solemnly as the Unown danced about, trying to keep from getting hit by the chocolate raindrops.

Wabbaku blinked. "Huh?"

DISCORD IS THE GOD OF _CHAOS_. WARPING REALITY TO SUIT HIS TWISTED DESIRES IS WHAT HE LOVES MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE, Mie explained.

Wabbaku gasped. "Oh no…"

"Oh yes!" Mewgle said. "And this is just the start! Discord, show 'em what you've got!"

More cracks spread across the surface of the statue. Shafts of light shone from the cracks before it shattered with the sound of a whoopee cushion going off, revealing the flesh-and-blood monster it had been housing underneath, the beast looking even more horrible in real life than it had in effigy. The earth shook and rearranged itself, hills rising and valleys sinking in the blink of an eye as checkerboard patterns formed on the ground. The lines of the geoglyphs turned into soap. Eyes and ears and noses and mouths popped out of thin air and floated about, spouting gibberish. A group of Bouffalant in tutus tapdanced through the background. The beast continued its pose, bellowing with the sound of an airhorn going off as it stretched its jaws and extended its tongue and caught as many raindrops in its mouth as it could. The heroes sweatdropped.

After guzzling on the chocolate for several seconds, the beast wiped its mouth on its Luxray arm and glared at them with mismatched red and yellow eyes, a cruel sneer on its face. It snapped its Braviary talons, and in a flash of white light the Unown forming the barrier protecting the heroes and the paralyzed Choc-Oboh transformed into balloons with clown faces wailing air raid sirens that rose into the air and vanished amidst the cotton candy clouds.

Mondo blinked. "…Okay, what the fuck just happened?"

"I…am not sure," Wabbaku said slowly.

UNOWN ARE BEINGS OF ORDER AND REASON. DISCORD IS A MONSTER OF CHAOS AND NONSENSE, Mie explained, a pained look on her face as the strange chimera stuck its tongue out at them and made armpit farts, each fart sounding like a different musical instrument. AS SUCH, IT IS ANATHEMA TO US.

"Oh. So…basically, we're screwed," Gardenia said faintly.

NOT JUST YET, Mie said, narrowing her eyes.

"Oh, yes just yet! Discord, show off one of your special abilities! You know the one!" Mewgle said to the chimera, who nodded and slithered forwards through the air, wrapping himself around the eighteen heroes Mie had summoned. The warriors raised their weapons to attack, but Discord just smirked and stabbed his Braviary claw forward eighteen times in quick succession, striking each of them in the forehead. As he did so, the color drained out of them and they turned as gray as the monster's stone prison had been just moments ago, looks of anger and hatred and despair forming on their faces as their eyes were filled with yellow and green swirls. Discord grinned and beckoned as it floated back to Mewgle's side, and the colorless warriors shuffled after him, joining the ranks of the villains, who grinned and chuckled sinisterly at their new cohorts.

"Wh-what? Why'd they go over to his side?" Michael cried.

"As the name implies, one of Discord's favorite pastimes is sowing strife among friends and turning allies into enemies…just as he's turned your protectors against you!" Mewgle bragged. "And with them gone, the Unown all but powerless due to Discord's chaos, and my ex frozen in time, there's nothing left to stop me from destroying you all!"

INCORRECT, MEWGLE. I AM STILL HERE, Mie spelled.

"Not for much longer, you won't be. Leviathan! It's time to get you back up to snuff. Devour the Warriors of Harmony and Chaos and use their power to restore your own!" Mewgle commanded. Greedily, Leviathan opened its jaws and inhaled, the suction force lifting the thirty heroes and villains into the air and sucking them all down its throat. It slammed its jaws shut and swallowed them down, and as it did so, it mended itself; the holes in its skin sealing back up as new souls were added to its armor and causing it to swell back up in size, looking quite a bit like its old self again. It wasn't as big as it had been at the start of the battle, or even as big as it had been in Hyperbeamoria, but it was still big enough to cast all of them in shadow, even Choc-Oboh!

And speaking of which…the golden phoenix stepped forward suddenly to put herself in front of the four who had released it, spreading her wings and screeching defiantly at Leviathan. "Huh? She's awake! Yay!" Mondo cheered.

"But how? I thought she was frozen in time!" said the surprised Michael.

"She was…until Leviathan ate Ultimania! With her off the field, the spell she cast was broken!" Wabbaku realized.

"And now Choc-Oboh can take down those guys and save us!" Gardenia said eagerly.

"Oh, _really?_" Mewgle, who seemed to have regenerated his skin at the same time as Leviathan (much to their relief, because now he was marginally less ugly), sneered. Discord chuckled and snapped his fingers, and without warning Leviathan grew about a hundred times its current size. The four stared in horror at the monster that now loomed over them, so big it dwarfed most mountains, so massive that they weren't even able to comprehend it all. They also couldn't comprehend why it was now plaid and had a ridiculous-looking mustache, but the absurdity just made it that much more terrifying. It opened its mouth, which was now large enough to swallow Choc-Oboh in a single bite, and roared at them, the screams of the damned bombarding their ears. "You might want to reconsider that statement." The golden phoenix stared at the abomination, eyes bulging out of their sockets, and lowered her wings a fraction.

"Well, fuck," Mondo said faintly as Michael's jaw dropped and Gardenia tightly hugged Wabbaku. "There goes that last hope."

"You bet it does! Leviathan, devour them all!" Mewgle ordered. Eagerly, the gargantuan monster surged forwards to do just that…

When Mie grinned. NOT SO FAST, MEWGLE…YOU'VE FALLEN INTO MY TRAP!

Mewgle blinked in confusion. "Huh? What're you talking about? You haven't played any Trap cards!"

IT'S NOT _THAT_ KIND OF TRAP, JUST LIKE THIS ISN'T _THAT_ KIND OF GAME! Mie retorted. YOU SEEM TO HAVE A PRETTY SHORT MEMORY…HAVE YOU ALREADY FORGOTTEN WHAT HAPPEN THE _LAST_ TIME YOU TRIED TO SWALLOW MY FRIENDS AND I?

Mewgle frowned. "The last time? What do you…" He gasped in horror. "No! _No! NO!"_

YES! Mie spelled triumphantly as eighteen Unown sigils formed on Leviathan's body and exploded, causing the monster to rear back in agony, howling as eighteen beams of light streaked through the sky from its body and crashed down in front of Mie, materializing into the forms of the proud Warriors of Harmony, their colors restored and eyes back to normal. YOU DIDN'T _REALLY_ THINK I WOULD SUMMON ALLIES IF I DIDN'T HAVE A WAY OF PROTECTING THEM FROM LEVIATHAN, DID YOU? she asked smugly as Mewgle's jaw dropped incredulously and Leviathan shrunk back to close to its original size, writhing in agony as more souls flowed away from the holes created by the eighteen heroes ripping free from its body. It was still plaid and had a ridiculous mustache for some reason, though.

"Oh wow, that was brilliant!" said the amazed Michael.

"Who knew she was thinking that far ahead?" Gardenia gasped.

"Well, she _is_ part-Unown…I suppose that kind of foresight must come naturally to her," Wabbaku said with a relieved grin. "Which is a _very_ good thing for us, yes?"

"Totally!" Mondo said excitedly.

"…Y-you bitch! You _knew_ I would summon Discord and do something like that!" Mewgle realized. Discord snarled furiously.

OF COURSE I DID. JUST AS I KNEW THAT TRICKING YOU INTO SUMMONING DISCORD BY ASSEMBLING ALL THE WARRIORS OF HARMONY WOULD BE THE BEST WAY FOR ME TO CALL FORTH A MONSTER OF MY OWN STRONG ENOUGH TO DEFEAT YOU! Mie said.

Mewgle frowned. "A monster strong enough…wait. WAIT. You can't mean…" He burst into disbelieving laughter. "Are you serious? Only a select few can summon that monster…and even if you gathered all the Warriors of Harmony together, which, well, I gues you already have, you aren't one of the chosen ones! I'm not even sure Leo is!"

Wabbaku frowned. "Special monster? What are they talking about?"

"Well, if they're going for the full Last Legend: Dissudo set, there's only one monster it _could_ be…" Mondo said with a frown. "But…as far as I know, that card is still in the testing phase. It's too powerful for any but a very small number of Duelists to use! Mie may be part-Unown and able to alter reality, but I don't know if even she can call forth _that_ monster!"

"…Seriously? We're talking about a card, right? As in, a piece of cardboard with some pretty pictures painted on it?" asked an incredulous Gardenia. "How exactly can a _card_ be 'too powerful' for anyone to use? It's a _card!_"

"Hey, card games are serious business!" Mondo said defensively.

Wabbaku nodded reluctantly. "Mewgle seems to believe as much, anyway." The Cacturne sighed in frustration. Michael, understanding just as little of this as she did, shot her a sympathetic look.

YOU ARE CORRECT, MEWGLE. I AM NOT ONE OF THE CHOSEN ONES. IN NORMAL CIRCUMSTANCES, I WOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO CALL OR COMMAND SUCH A CREATURE, Mie agreed. HOWEVER, THE SAME COULD BE SAID OF YOURSELF. THE ONLY REASON YOU WERE ABLE TO SUMMON DISCORD IS BECAUSE OF YOUR NATURE AS A GAMING SPIRIT…AND A DIRTY ROTTEN CHEATER. Discord snickered. Mewgle glared at him. The chimera shrugged and stuck his tongue out. BUT YOU FORGET…YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY GAMING SPIRIT PRESENT!

Mewgle blinked. "Not the only…what do you…no! NO! YOU CAN'T! No, seriously, you can't, I'm pretty sure it doesn't work that way!"

DOES IT? YOU DON'T SOUND SO SURE, MEWGLE. WHY DON'T WE FIND OUT FOR OURSELVES? Mie asked. As a look of alarm flickered across Mewgle's face, Mie turned and looked up at Choc-Oboh. "GREAT CHOC-OBOH, YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS THAT I ASK OF YOU. WILL YOU PLEASE LEND ME YOUR POWER SO THAT I MAY CALL FORTH A CREATURE POWERFUL ENOUGH TO END THIS BATTLE?" The golden phoenix looked down at the crystalline figure, an uncertain look in her eyes. Before she could say anything—probably in the negative—Mie pressed onwards. I KNOW THAT I AM NOT THE CHOSEN HERO DESTINED TO BOND WITH YOU TO DESTROY MEWGLE ONCE AND FOR ALL. I AM NOT EVEN ONE OF THE HEROES FATED TO TAKE A MAJOR ROLE IN THE GREAT BATTLE THAT IS TO COME. A look of sadness crossed her face. AFTER MY…CONDUCT THE LAST TIME AROUND, I'VE PRETTY MUCH DISQUALIFIED MYSELF FROM EVER BEING IN A ROLE LIKE THAT AGAIN. She looked back, a determined expression on her face. HOWEVER, THE ONLY WAY FOR YOU TO FULFILL YOUR DESTINY IS TO SURVIVE THIS BATTLE…AND THE ONLY WAY FOR US TO DO THAT IS IF YOU LEND ME YOUR POWER, JUST THIS ONCE, JUST FOR A FEW MOMENTS, SO THAT I MAY PUT MEWGLE IN HIS PLACE AND GIVE YOU A CHANCE TO FIGHT AGAIN AT LEO'S SIDE. Choc-Oboh shifted about doubtfully, a wary and uncertain look on her face. Seeing this, Mie clasped her hands and stared up at the phoenix, her eyes pleading. PLEASE…I KNOW I AM NOT WORTHY. THAT THE SINS I COMMITTED BACK THEN HAVE FOREVER BANNED ME FROM BEING A HERO. BUT I ASK OF THIS NOT FOR MYSELF, BUT FOR YOU, AND FOR THESE FOUR WHO RISKED THEIR LIVES AND THEIR SOULS TO RELEASE YOU. PLEASE…FOR THEM. FOR THE ONE YOU ARE FATED TO JOIN WITH. FOR THE LIVES OF EVERYONE WHO WILL BE AFFECTED SHOULD MEWGLE MANAGE TO SUCCEED IN HIS MAD SCHEME. _PLEASE_…GRANT ME YOUR POWER. JUST THIS ONCE, AND NEVER AGAIN. PLEASE…GIVE ME THIS CHANCE TO MAKE UP FOR MY MISTAKES…

Choc-Oboh regarded Mie for a long moment. Seeing this, Mewgle laughed, his worries fading away. "Ha! A nice try, but ultimately a wasted effort. No matter how much you try to butter her up, there's no way she'll give in! Trust me, I know from experience-" Abruptly, Choc-Oboh squawked and nodded once, causing Mie to gasp—or rather, to spell GASP—over her head and her face to light up with joy. Mewgle's jaw dropped. "Wh-what? You're going to do it! But…but you're not…you can't…you're not supposed to do that! I'm the bad guy, _I'm_ the one who gets to break the rules, not you!" Choc-Oboh gave him a cheeky look and squawked. Mewgle ground his teeth angrily. "Oh. OH. I see how this is! You're just doing this to spite me, aren't you?" Choc-Oboh burst into laughter, and Mewgle screamed in fury and started stomping up and down. "Graaaahhh! You are such a vindictive bitch! Is it any reason I divorced you?" Discord snickered, until Mewgle shot a glare at him. "And what are _you_ laughing at?" Discord thumbed his nose at him. Mewgle growled in frustration.

Mie gave Choc-Oboh a look of pure gratitude, tears of crystal sliding down her cheeks. …THANK YOU. THANK YOU SO MUCH. Choc-Oboh screeched and spread her wings, golden flames blazing up around her as beams of fire shot out from her eyes and struck Mie's chest. Rather than stagger back in pain or explode, like most people who got struck by laser eyes would, Mie looked down in fascination as the phoenix's eye beams etched the outline of a bird with wings spread in flight on her torso, creating an emblem that looked quite a lot like Choc-Oboh herself…which was, of course, the idea.

Gardenia made a face. "That looked painful."

"She seems to be taking it pretty well," Michael commented.

"Oh cool, she's become a Marker!" Mondo said.

"A what?" Wabbaku said.

"In Lu-Gi-Oh 6Ds, the main characters are 'Markers,' Duelists chosen by the almighty Crimson Dragon to fight evil in its name. They're called that because each of them has a birthmark of a different part of the Crimson Dragon's body and can summon the legendary dragons that are the Crimson Dragon's servants, and when they're all together they can call upon its power in times of need to save the world!" Mondo explained. He frowned. "Hmm, I guess that would make Mewgle a Dark Marker, then…"

"Which would be Duelists chosen by an evil force to fight the heroic Markers, I take it?" Wabbaku guessed. "With birthmarks of their own representing that malevolent power?"

"Yeah, that's it exactly!" Mondo said excitedly.

"Well, I guess I've heard of worse premises for a TV show…though it seems kind of odd that this is the plot for a show about _card games_…" Gardenia grumbled.

"What's a TV show?" Michael asked. Everyone stared at him. "Oh, never mind…"

"You're a Marker now? You know, for someone who claims to hate the game, you're doing a pretty good job of turning yourself into a Lu-Gi-Oh protagonist," Mewgle said.

I DO THIS NOT BECAUSE I CHOOSE TO, BUT BECAUSE I MUST, Mie said. AND THE MARK IS TEMPORARY. AFTER ALL, THIS POWER IS NOT MEANT FOR ME, BUT FOR ANOTHER. She narrowed her eyes. BUT WHILE THIS POWER IS IN MY POSSESSION, I WILL USE IT TO END THIS BATTLE!

The mark on Mie's chest began to glow, as did the eighteen heroes she had summoned, causing Mewgle to hiss and Discord to rear back in alarm, a concerned look on his face. WHEN ALL THE WARRIORS OF BOTH HARMONY AND CHAOS HAVE BEEN SUMMONED IN THE SAME DUEL AS DISCORD, I CAN SPECIAL SUMMON A POWER WITHOUT COMPARE…DISCORD'S ANTITHESIS AND ULTIMATE ENEMY, THE GOOD TO HIS EVIL, THE ORDER TO HIS CHAOS!

"," Mondo chanted excitedly, earning him weird looks from the others. "What?"

THE WARRIORS OF HARMONY ARE NAMED APPROPRIATELY, FOR THE FRIENDSHIP THAT BINDS THEM TOGETHER AND ALLOWS THEM TO ACT IN THE SERVICE OF GOOD IS ONE SO GREAT THAT NO FORCE, NOT EVEN DISCORD'S TRICKERY AND LIES, CAN SHATTER! Discord scowled at this, clearly not liking the implication. THIS FRIENDSHIP IS THE SOURCE OF THEIR POWER, FOR FRIENDSHIP IS A MAGIC OF ITS OWN…AND IT IS THIS MAGIC THAT WILL CALL FORTH THEIR DIVINE MISTRESS TO WIN THIS BATTLE! Mie raised her hand, and Choc-Oboh spread her wings and shrieked, golden fire blazing up as a ball of light manifested in front of her. Streams of energy shot from Mie and the Warriors of Harmony, striking the ball and causing it to grow larger and shimmer with a rainbow hue as it solidified into a tablet of solid light. IN THE NAME OF HARMONY AND FRIENDSHIP, I SUMMON...CELESTIA, GODDESS OF HARMONY!

"YES! FINALLY!" Mondo squealed, earning him more weird looks. "What?"

The tablet pulsed and released a flash of blinding light as a rainbow pillar shot down from the sky, piercing the cotton-candy clouds and striking the ground with tremendous force, causing the nearby checkerboard hills—which now seemed to have the consistency of jello—to wiggle and wobble and jiggle. Leviathan wailed, Discord recoiled in alarm, and Mewgle shielded his eyes, cursing repeatedly. "No…nonononononononoNO!"

The pillar dissipated, a rainbow shockwave bursting outwards and causing the distorted ground around it to return to normality. Standing in the epicenter of the restored area was a majestic and incredibly beautiful pure white Rapidash with magnificent angelic wings, an elongated spiral horn, a golden tiara, torc, and horseshoes, and gorgeous shimmering mane and tail colored in stripes of blue, green, and pink rather than the usual orange and red flames. Six colorful crystal spheres with strange markings on their surfaces and silhouettes of Ponytas in their depths floated around her, resonating with a melodious, soothing tone. It almost sounded like a catchy song about Ponytas, actually…

The four heroes were awestruck by this equine figure who seemed to radiate love and kindness with every fiber of its being. "Oh gosh, she's pretty!" Gardenia gushed.

"Incredible…I have never seen anything like it…" Wabbaku murmured. "Even the ancestors are speechless in awe!"

"Yeah…I didn't even know Rapidash could come with wings!" Michael said, completely missing the point.

"Ooooohh…she's even more beautiful in person…" Mondo said, drooling.

Mewgle, on the other hand, wasn't reacting nearly as well, and Discord seemed to have gone stiff with a mixture of fear and rage and hatred on his face. "Aw, fuck," the gaming demon groaned miserably. "Why's she always gotta spoil the fun?"

BECAUSE IT IS HER NATURE TO OPPOSE HATRED AND CHAOS WHEREVER IT REARS ITS UGLY HEAD, Mie said as Celestia pawed the ground, steam blowing from her nostrils as her colorful mane and tail billowed around her. WITH THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP AND HARMONY, SHE WILL DEFEAT ALL EVIL IN HER PATH…INCLUDING YOU, MEWGLE! Celestia reared back on her hind legs and whinnied as the spheres around her started glowing, charging up their power.

"No! I won't let you! Discord, get her!" Mewgle ordered. The chimera shook his head and shrugged helplessly. "What do you _mean_, you can't do anything to her?"

BECAUSE OF ONE OF CELESTIA'S SPECIAL ABILITIES…WHEN AT LEAST ONE WARRIOR OF HARMONY IS ON THE FIELD AS THE SAME TIME AS CELESTIA, AND NO WARRIORS OF CHAOS ARE PRESENT TO COUNTER THEM, DISCORD—GOD OF CHAOS IS RENDERED POWERLESS! Mie explained with a smirk as the Warriors of Harmony grinned and struck poses, glowing radiantly.

Mewgle's jaw dropped, and then he glanced at Discord. "What, seriously?" The chimera nodded reluctantly. "FUCK!" Mewgle bit his claws nervously. "Fuckfuckfuckfuck…wait! I can still…YES! Leviathan, attack Celestia! Even if you can't eat her due to that stupid Unown voodoo, her powers are meant to be used against Discord, so shouldn't be as effective against you!" Mewgle cried, pointing at the equine. Leviathan roared and reared back its head, charging up an attack in its mouth.

The heroes started at this. "What? No, you can't!" Gardenia cried.

DON'T WORRY, HE WON'T, Mie said calmly. CHOC-OBOH, STOP IT! With a mighty shriek, Choc-Oboh spread its wings and opened its beak, spitting golden flames into Leviathan's open jaws. Her holy fire clashed with the eldritch energies the monster had been generating, causing them to explode in its mouth and fling Leviathan back, its head smoking as it smashed into the ground.

"FUCK!" Mewgle shouted.

Mie grinned as Celestia's orbs reached full luminosity. CHAOS IS A POWERFUL FORCE…BUT AGAINST PURE VIRTUE AND FRIENDSHIP…FRIENDSHIP THAT I FOOLISHLY CAST AWAY THE CHANCE FOR IN THE PAST, FRIENDSHIP LIKE THE KIND THAT EXISTS BETWEEN THE FOUR BEHIND ME AND THE HEROES WHO WILL SAVE THIS WORLD…EVEN IT CAN BE TAMED!

The four Pokemon exchanged surprised looks. "Wait, since when am I friends with you guys? I'm just following you because I have nowhere else to go," said the confused Mondo. "And I was basically extorted into marrying someone from Michael's village. I don't think friends do that. Do they?"

Wabbaku scratched his head. "Well, I suppose she could be exaggerating a little…"

"Well, I'm friends with you and Gardenia, and you and Gardenia plan to get married soon, and we set up a pact to marry our offspring, so I'd suppose that makes us pretty close friends," Michael said. "And Mondo's going to be part of my village soon, so that makes him our friend too…sort of…"

"Woo-hoo," Mondo said unenthusiastically.

"Yeah!" Gardenia paused. "Wait, what was that about our kids?"

"We'll talk about it later," Wabbaku said hurriedly.

CELESTIA, SHOW MEWGLE THE TRUE POWER OF HARMONY AND FRIENDSHIP! Mie declared. FINISH THIS BATTLE WITH RAINBOW OF LIGHT!

Celestia neighed and stomped the ground, lowering her head to point her horn at Discord, who had a terrified look on his face. As the Warriors of Harmony cheered her on, beams of light shot from the crystal orbs to the tip of her horn, which glowed blindingly and abruptly fired a HUGE rainbow, the beam of multicolored light arcing high into the air and slamming down on the horrified Discord with overwhelming force, the shockwave from the impact sending the wailing Mewgle flying and flinging Leviathan off the ground and into the distance after its master, the duo vanishing in a twinkle. The chimera writhed and doubled back on itself as the rainbow flooded over him, his colors graying as he began to turn to stone from the feet up, freezing him in place with a look of terror and surprise, rather than the fearsome pose from before. The rainbow didn't let up, however, and continued pouring into the statue until it was pulsating with all the colors as well, flashing faster and faster and brighter and brighter…

Until finally, it exploded, and everyone's eyes were overwhelmed by a wonderful blast of pure color. "Ohhhhh," Gardenia sighed as the rainbow washed over her, filling her with feelings of peace and happiness.

"It's so…wonderful…" Michael whispered, tears forming in the corners of his eyes.

"Yes…unless you're prone to seizures…which, thankfully, I'm not," Mondo said, squinting his eyes against the light and color.

Choc-Oboh screeched and spread her wings happily, exulting in the light, while on the ground below, Mie smiled as the rainbow went through her body, refracting like a prism and causing her to glow with a beautiful inner light.

But finally, regrettably, the light died down, and gradually the world seemed to fade back into existence around them. The rainbow seemed to have had a lasting effect on Aegis Cave and its environs, however; not only had it undone the absurdity caused by Discord and made the land revert to its original form, the colors seemed sharper somehow, the air more vibrant and full of life. Flowers and patches of grass had sprung from what had been only barren desert just minutes ago, though of course none of it disturbed the geoglyphs that were now lines in the dirt once more rather than soap. The four looked around in wonder at the restored world, the lingering aftereffect of the rainbow leaving them lightheaded and filled with happiness and awe at the simple pleasures of life itself and their companionship with each other. Gardenia found herself enveloping Wabbaku in a thorny hug and smothering him in kisses, while Michael nuzzled Mondo, who found himself in such an uncharacteristic good mood that he actually didn't mind.

The Warriors of Harmony looked around them in awe for a moment, before turning to Celestia and bowing. The smiling winged Rapidash bowed in return, spread her wings, and ascended into the heavens, leaving a rainbow contrail as she flew into the sun and disappeared. Their mistress gone, the eighteen summoned heroes turned and walked off together into the freshly grown fields surrounding the cave, fading away as they vanished back to their own worlds. Choc-Oboh trilled proudly as she watched them depart, glad she had been able to participate in a game like the one they had just played.

Mie smiled and looked up as the Unown returned from wherever Discord had banished them to, dancing happily around her in strange orbits and formations that only made sense to her and to themselves, celebrating as well. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back, her crystalline form glowing as the sunlight refracted through it…

And then she collapsed, the mark on her chest glowing an angry red. The Unown froze in place, and the heroes gasped, the spell of tranquility broken. "MIE!" Gardenia shouted as she rushed towards the otherworldly entity. The other three were quick on her heels, catching up to her as she knelt down next to the crystalline being and hesitantly reached out, not sure if it was safe to touch her. "Are…are you okay? What's wrong?"

IT…IT IS NOTHING, she said, waving her off.

"Nothing my nonexistent ass! You fell over, and that thing on your chest is glowing, and not in a good way! What's going on?" Mondo demanded.

Above them, Choc-Oboh trilled sadly and lowered her head. Wabbaku and Michael exchanged alarmed looks, intuitively realizing what was going on. "Oh no…" Wabbaku whispered in dawning horror.

"She…she can't! Not after everything she's done for us!" Michael protested.

"What? What is it? What's happening?" Gardenia demanded, looking wildly to her friends for an answer.

IT IS NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF, Mie assured them as the glow from the mark increased ominously. I'M ONLY DYING, THAT'S ALL.

"Oh, well that's a YOU'RE WHAT?" Gardenia shrieked.

DYING, Mie repeated.

"B-but how? Why? I thought we won! We sent Mewgle flying!" Mondo protested.

"Yes, we did…which is exactly the problem," Wabbaku said gravely.

Mondo looked at him in confusion. "Huh? What're you talking about?"

"Don't you remember? Leo is the only one truly capable of defeating Mewgle on his own. Mie and the Unown, for all their power to change reality, are unable to alter this absolute certainty," Michael said sadly. "The only way she was able to do so was by drawing on Choc-Oboh's power…a power that will help Leo defeat Mewgle. But…that power is meant for Leo and Leo alone. It's his destiny. His birthright. Mie…was never supposed to have it, not even for a short period of time."

Mie nodded. MY BODY IS UNABLE TO PROPERLY WIELD THIS POWER…AND SO IT IS DESTROYING ME FROM WITHIN. VERY SOON, I WILL DIE.

"But…but you must have known this would happen to begin with!" Mondo said, shocked. "You must have known it would kill you! Why…why did you…why would you do something like that?"

"To save us," Wabbaku whispered.

AND THE FUTURE, Mie said. IF MEWGLE SUCCESSFULLY DEFEATED CHOC-OBOH, THEN LEO WOULD BE UNABLE TO RECEIVE HER BLESSING…AND SO HE WOULD BE UNABLE TO DEFEAT MEWGLE. I CALCULATED THAT TEMPORARILY TAKING HER POWER, EVEN THOUGH IT WOULD MEAN MY OWN DESTRUCTION, WOULD BE THE MOST EFFICIENT AND EFFECTIVE WAY TO NOT ONLY SAVE CHOC-OBOH…BUT YOU AS WELL.

Gardenia started. "You mean…you could have found a way to save her, even if it meant sacrificing us?"

I DID, JUST AS I COULD HAVE FOUND A WAY TO SAVE YOU WHILE SACRIFICING HER, Mie said. MANY IN THE UNOWN COLLECTIVE WOULD HAVE DONE SO WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT. ASIDE FROM AWAKENING CHOC-OBOH FROM HER LONG SLUMBER, YOU PLAY NO FURTHER SIGNIFICANT ROLE IN THE CONFLICT THAT IS FATED TO COME. YOUR ROLE IN THIS STORY CAME TO AN END THE INSTANT YOU REVIVED CHOC-OBOH. AS SUCH, THERE WOULD HAVE BEEN NO LONG-TERM NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES TO SIMPLY DISCARDING YOU ONCE YOU WERE NO LONGER USEFUL.

"But that's not what you did," Wabbaku said.

Mie shook her head. NO. I AM PART OF THE COLLECTIVE, AND ALWAYS WILL BE. THEY ARE MY KIN, MY BEST FRIENDS, MY BELOVED. HOWEVER…I WAS HUMAN ONCE, AND DESPITE THE COUNTLESS EONS SINCE MY EVOLUTION, I HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN THE VALUE OF MORTAL LIFE. EVEN THOUGH WE ARE BY AND LARGE SIMPLY OBSERVERS, AND EVEN THOUGH IT WOULD HAVE BEEN IN MY OWN BEST INTEREST TO LET LEVIATHAN DEVOUR YOU…WHAT REMAINS OF MY CONSCIENCE WOULD NOT HAVE ALLOWED IT. EVEN IF YOUR PART IN THESE SERIES OF EVENTS IS AT AN END, YOU STILL HAVE YOUR OWN STORIES, AND ARE PARTS OF THE STORIES OF OTHERS, AND JUST BECAUSE THOSE TALES ARE SMALLER IN SCALE THAN THIS GRAND ADVENTURE DOES NOT MEAN THEY ARE ANY LESS IMPORTANT TO THE PEOPLE INVOLVED IN THEM. AND THAT IS WHY I SAVED YOU…SO THAT YOUR STORIES MAY GO ON.

"But…but because of that…y-you're gonna d-d-die!" Gardenia sobbed, bursting into tears, which were rather brown and chocolatey due to the unnatural rain she'd absorbed.

Michael squeezed his eyes shut, trying not to cry as well. "A-after what happened in the Tree of Beginning…and the long, hard trek to our new home…after all the friends and loved ones I lost to the Nihilators and on our journey…I swore I would never let a friend die on my watch again. But…here it is, happening again, and I'm…completely helpless."

Mie smiled gently. DO NOT CRY FOR ME. IT IS NOT AS BAD AS ALL THAT.

"How is it not that bad? Y-you're gonna die!" Mondo blubbered, astonished at how upset he was getting. He didn't even know or like this chick that much…so why did he feel so bad that she had condemned herself to death just to save him and the others?

Mie chuckled. AH, BUT YOU FORGET, MY FRIENDS…I AM NOT LIKE YOU. I DO NOT LIVE AS YOU DO, NOR DO I DIE. I TRANSCENDED THE BONDS OF TIME AND MORTALITY A VERY LONG TIME AGO. THE FORM YOU SEE BEFORE YOU IS JUST A PROJECTION, AN ABSTRACT REPRESENTATION OF MY 10TH-DIMENSIONAL EXISTENCE. THE REAL ME EXISTS ELSEWHERE, IN REALMS STRANGER AND MORE WONDERFUL THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE. WHEN I 'DIE,' ALL THAT WILL HAPPEN IS THAT THIS BODY WILL CEASE TO EXIST.

Gardenia's eyes lit up with hope as she heard this. "Then…then you won't really die?"

I WILL DIE IN THE SENSE THAT THIS BODY WILL CEASE TO FUNCTION AND MY CONSCIOUSNESS SHALL LEAVE THIS WORLD. I BELIEVE THAT IS THE STANDARD BY WHICH YOUR KIND USUALLY MEASURES DEATH, IS IT NOT? Mie said.

Wabbaku chuckled despite himself. "I suppose that is one way of looking at it, yes."

IT WON'T EVEN HURT VERY MUCH. IT WILL BE LIKE AWAKENING FROM A LONG, STRANGE, BUT INTERESTING DREAM, Mie explained warmly, seeing the relieved looks on their faces. THAT IS NOT TO SAY THERE WILL NOT BE CONSEQUENCES FOR MY ACTIONS. MY CONSCIOUSNESS HAS BEEN BURNED AS WELL BY THE POWER I HAVE TAKEN. FOR A TIME, I WILL BE UNABLE TO INSERT MYSELF INTO WHAT YOU KNOW AS REALITY. I WILL ONLY BE ABLE TO WATCH, INCAPABLE OF AFFECTING THE EVENTS THAT ARE TO COME.

"How long will it be until you can come back?" Michael asked.

Mie shook her head. I DO NOT KNOW. TIME IS NOT THE SAME FOR MY KIND AS IT IS FOR YOURS. I MAY BE BACK WITHIN YOUR LIFETIMES…OR I MAY RETURN LONG AFTER YOU AND YOUR DESCENDANTS AND YOUR DESCENDANTS' DESCENDANTS ARE NOTHING MORE THAN DUST. KEEP IN MIND, HOWEVER…ONE WAY OR ANOTHER, I _WILL_ RETURN. DESPITE ALL I HAVE SEEN AND DONE, AND ALL THAT HAS CHANGED WITHIN ME…I DO NOT THINK I SHALL EVER LOSE MY AFFECTION FOR THIS LITTLE BLUE AND GREEN ROCK YOU POKÉMON CALL HOME. CALL IT SENTIMENTALITY, BUT…IT WAS WHERE I WAS BORN, AND SO IT SHALL ALWAYS HOLD A SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART, OR WHAT PASSES FOR IT NOW.

"Yeah, we're pretty fond of it too," Mondo said, wiping away his tears and trying to pretend that he hadn't been crying just a minute ago.

"Well, if you manage to return within our lifetimes, I for one would be happy to welcome you into my home," Wabbaku said, bowing to Mie. "You have saved my life, and the lives of my friends and future wife, and that is a debt I can never repay."

"Me neither!" Gardenia said fervently.

"Nor I," Michael said, bowing his head.

"Um, yeah, what they said," Mondo said, fidgeting.

Mie smiled, looking grateful, surprised, and more than a little touched. I DO NOT THINK I HAVE EVER RECEIVED AN INVITATION LIKE THAT BEFORE, NOT IN THIS LIFE, AND CERTAINLY NOT IN…THE ONE I HAD BEFORE. IF IT IS WITHIN MY POWER, I PROMISE I WILL COME TO VISIT YOU WHEN I RETURN. AND…IF BY THE TIME I COME BACK NONE OF YOU ARE STILL LIVING…I WILL VISIT YOUR DESCENDANTS, TO THANK THEM FOR THE KINDNESS OF THEIR ANCESTORS.

"We will tell our descendants to expect you," Wabbaku promised. "You will never be forgotten. My people will sing of Mie. And our children. And our children's children. And the wind and the water and the spirits will carry your name forever."

Michael nodded his head in agreement. "Just as my people will sing and tell stories of Team Aurabolt and how they saved us from the Nihilators until the end of time, so too will they speak of the mysterious Mie, and how she sacrificed herself to save us all. So long as even one member of my tribe walks upon this world, I swear to you that you will always be remembered as a friend by the Caretakers."

"Y-yeah. Same here," Mondo said. When everyone looked at him, he flushed and said, "W-well, because apparently I've been extorted into marrying that girl I slept with last night, which means I'm part of the tribe now too, so my kids are gonna hear about this alongside Michael's kids. And probably Wabbaku and Gardenia's kids too, when they get around to having them, because I thought I remembered you guys mentioning something about your two tribes becoming friends or something."

Gardenia sniffed and clasped her hands together as she started crying again. "That's…that's so beautiful…"

…YOU WOULD GROUP ME IN THE SAME CATEGORY AS HEROES AS TEAM AURABOLT? Mie asked, looking amazed. BUT…THEY HAVE DONE FAR MORE FOR YOU, AND FOR THE WORLD, AND _WILL_ DO EVEN MORE THAN I EVER DID OR COULD HAVE DONE. I AM NOWHERE NEAR AS GREAT A HERO AS THEY ARE OR WILL BECOME.

"Even if that's true…what you did matters to us, and will not be forgotten," Michael insisted. "You are our hero just as much as they were."

"Yeah! Heck, they even saved us from Mewgle once too…except they didn't have to kill themselves for that to happen…" Gardenia said.

"Well, we had Leo fighting then. This time, we did not. That is why a sacrifice was required," Wabbaku said sadly. "Which makes what you did that much more meaningful for us. You knew you could not win without paying a price, unlike Leo…and you did it anyway. We shall always remember and thank you for that."

…I SEE. THEN…THIS IS WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A HERO, Mie realized. SOMETHING I FAILED TO UNDERSTAND THE LAST TIME AROUND…FOR WHICH I HAD TO PAY A PRICE MOST DEAR. She smiled and looked up at Choc-Oboh. THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME THIS CHANCE TO BE A HERO, GREAT CHOC-OBOH…TO TRY AND MAKE AT LEAST SOME AMENDS FOR THE AWFUL THINGS I DID BACK THEN. I DO NOT BELIEVE I CAN EVER BE FORGIVEN, NOR DO I EXPECT TO BE, BUT…THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME THIS OPPORTUNITY ANYWAY, EVEN THOUGH YOU KNEW THAT DOING SO WOULD MEAN MY DEATH. THANK YOU FOR ALLOWING ME TO PLAY EVEN THIS SMALL ROLE IN THE GREAT ADVENTURE UNFOLDING BEFORE US. Choc-Oboh trilled and bowed her head, implying that it was her honor.

Mie winced as the mark on her chest flared up. I AM AFRAID THAT MY TIME IS UP. I HAVE HUNG ON FOR AS LONG AS I CAN…BUT NOW I AM AFRAID I MUST GO. She smiled at the four Pokémon and one giant spirit. THANK YOU FOR STAYING WITH ME FOR MY LAST MOMENTS.

"No problem," Mondo said. "It's what…friends would do, right?" he said uncertainly.

Mie blinked. FRIENDS? YES…I SUPPOSE WE ARE FRIENDS, AREN'T WE? HOW STRANGE. I THINK THAT YOU MUST BE THE FIRST FRIENDS OTHER THAN THE UNOWN THAT I HAVE HAD IN…A VERY, VERY LONG TIME. She smiled. AND THAT MAKES ME HAPPIER THAN I HAVE BEEN IN A VERY, VERY LONG TIME AS WELL. THANK YOU, ALL OF YOU.

She closed her eyes, stood up, and took a few steps back as the mark on her chest started crackling dangerously. As they watched, the mark caught on fire, burning with the same golden flame surrounding Choc-Oboh, and as it burned the fire spread outwards across her form. Wherever the flames passed over, nothing was left in its place, immaculate crystal skin being replaced by empty air, the embers—which oddly enough looked like tiny flaming Unown—drifting into the air and mingling with their larger brethren, who were regarding the scene solemnly. Her torso was the first thing to vanish completely, the fire spreading out to run down her extremities and up towards her head, which were now suspended in space as they disintegrated. Just before the flames could engulf her face, she opened her eyes again and offered them one last smile. I LOOK FORWARD TO THE DAY…WHEN WE CAN MEET AGAIN.

Wabbaku smiled. "As do we, Mie. As do we."

And then the fires washed over her, and she was no more, and the embers danced in the wind as they rose higher and higher until they were lost from sight. The many eyes of the Unown stared up at where the last pieces of Mie had disappeared for a long moment, and then turned to regard the four Pokémon. The four Pokémon stared back, unblinking. Seemingly satisfied with whatever they saw in their eyes, the Unown turned away and began flying back into Aegis Cave, vanishing into the otherworldly darkness that was the portal to the strange dimensions within and leaving the newly green fields empty save for them, and for the giant flaming bird looming over them. Choc-Oboh folded her wings to her sides, closed her eyes, raised her head to the sun and began to sing a sad, mournful tune that could only be a hymn for the deceased. It brought tears to their eyes.

"So," Gardenia said after a moment, her voice hoarse. "What…what do we do now?"

Wabbaku looked to the horizon, listening to the ancestors. Or possibly the wind. Or both, they weren't mutually exclusive. "We have done our part. Our role in this legend has come to an end. It is up to Team Aurabolt now to finish what we have begun, with Choc-Oboh's help."

Mondo blinked. "Wait. Then…we're through? We're done?"

Michael nodded. "We are indeed."

"Then…what now?" the Ditto asked.

Wabbaku smiled as he gazed eastwards, past the distant sea, towards Kanjohenn and a village where those dear to him were waiting. "Now? Now we go home."

…

Meanwhile, in the Nihilator headquarters…

"And here we are," the Shadow said as Gardevoir walked into her cell, the ultraviolet energy field lowering behind her. "Back in your quarters."

"My cage," Gardevoir retorted.

"It is indeed, but a far better one than most of my other prisoners receive," Oblivion's Shadow said.

"And I should be thankful?" Gardevoir asked coldly.

Oblivion's Shadow shrugged. "No, I just thought I should point it out. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some important experiments to attend to. You will have to entertain yourself until-" He paused, jerking his head to the side.  
_What's he doing? _Kevin asked.

_He's getting a call from someone!_ Lovrina said. _Gardevoir, tune in, let's see if we can't find out what it is. It must be important!_

_What makes you say that?_ the Doduo asked.

_If it weren't important, would they contact him directly?_ Lovrina countered.

_No, they wouldn't,_ Gardevoir agreed, narrowing her eyes as she focused her heightened senses to try and pick up the transmission her captor was receiving.

"_Uh, hey, Herr Shadow? Doctor Tarantulas here. You, ah, remember how I vent out zis morning viz a HUGE battle fleet and a giant robot and Lugia and all zree legendary birds and assured you zat I vould crush Team Aurabolt and zose ozzer fools?"_ Gardevoir and her allies heard the malevolent cyborg whisper into Oblivion's Shadow's helmet, his voice sounding very tired and worn out and a little pained despite the understandable electronic distortion due to being broadcast from…wherever the heck he was.

"Hold on one moment," the Shadow said, glancing at Gardevoir and noticing how intently she was looking at him. He glided down the corridor and out of view. Gardevoir could hear one of the doors open, then close, indicating that he'd left…and gone out of range of her vampiric hearing, too. She scowled in annoyance.

_Well, that wasn't very nice of him!_ Lovrina complained.

_He's the evil overlord of this whole Arceusdamned evil organization, what do you expect? _the lab assistant complained.

_He was talking about the attack that was planned today for Ash and the others. Teacher, do you think…_ Gardevoir trailed off worriedly.

_I do not think his report, whatever it may be, will be a good one for the Nihilators. He certainly did not _sound_ as if he had won a decisive battle,_ the Teacher pointed out.

Suddenly, there was a tremendous explosion accompanied by a wordless scream of fury nearby that shook the facility and caused the lights to flicker. The force field barring the exit flickered too, but not long enough for Gardevoir to make a break for it, sad to say.

_Welp, that didn't certainly sound like good news,_ Lovrina said cheerfully.

_Holy crap, I felt that all the way down here!_ said the shocked prisoner. _He's _really_ pissed!_

_Wonderful,_ Gardevoir said, grinning. _Because that means my friends have won!_

_And _our_ friends, too! Vladimir and Dean and Bob! _the vampire Doduo said.

_Which means we'll all be getting out of here pretty soon! Woohoo! _the cook cheered. A wave of joy and optimism washed throughout the network, causing an ebullient smile to form on Gardevoir's face as their happiness fed her own. That smile didn't fade in the slightest when Oblivon's Shadow reappeared, the anger around him so palpable that she didn't even need her extra senses to detect it.

"Something the matter?" she asked sweetly.

Oblivion's Shadow stared at her for a long, long while. So long that her joy gave way to anxiety and her smile faded both on her face and on the distorted reflection on the Shadow's mask. After several minutes of uneasy silence, the Shadow curtly said, "One of your friends is dead," and stormed away, not even staying long enough to see her reaction to this bombshell.

A shocked look on her face, Gardevoir slowly sat down on her bed, oblivious to the countless voices babbling in alarm through her head at this sudden, rather alarming news. The only thing that went through her mind, over and over, was the question of which of her allies had fallen in battle…

And right on the heels of that question, so sick and desperate that it filled her with shame and self-loathing, was the selfish hope that whoever had died, that it wasn't Ash…

…

And…done!

Phew. That was a toughie. It didn't take as long to crank out as the last chapter, but it was still pretty intense, and ultra-long, wasn't it? I almost didn't finish it in time for the new year! But I did, and so I congratulate you all for making it this far and wish you a Happy New Year! And many more to come…though hopefully not TOO many, this story's already dragged out enough as is.

What new adventures and surprises will this new year hold in store for characters of this story? Well, you'll find out soon enough. Hopefully very soon, but I should know by now not to guarantee anything like that.

In any case thanks for reading, and I hope to see you again soon!


	58. The Magic Kingdom

After the astoundingly successful and action-packed chapter 57, I think it's time we brought this arc to a close. That's right, this is the final chapter in the saga of the Excess Express. Our heroes will reach Fichina, and some interesting events will happen once they get there, but otherwise you can consider this arc finished. Finally, right? I mean, I've been working on this one for what, over a year now?

There won't be any continuation of the usual subplots this chapter, but after what happened last chapter there isn't much left for them to do until the next arc anyway, or at the very least, the next chapter, which will be the long-awaited continuation to the 'Whatever happened to whatshername?' series. I know you've been looking forward to that, judging by all the PMs and reviews asking about it.

And what will happen next arc, you might ask? Well, the events of this chapter and the next one should set things in motion for the final confrontation with the Nihilators. But don't think that means the story's coming to an end just yet…we've still got a ways to go before this tale has reached its finale.

I wonder if I should be upset about that. Are you?

Anyway, let's get things started!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me. Thanks go out to my friend ARCEUS-Master for helping me come up with many of the concepts for Fichina. Credit for some of the characters introduced late in this chapter goes to Emperordaein.

…

After they'd finished lunch and spent a few minutes catching their breath and healing their wounds, the heroes set out to make a fitting memorial for Vladimir. It didn't take as long as the one they'd constructed yesterday's had, since they were only building a monument for one person rather than an entire town and had far less clean-up duty to do (While on the one hand they were aware that the hundreds of rusting battleship hulks and jagged fissures and craters they'd torn open in the landscape couldn't possibly be good for the environment, they weren't really sure what to do about it, since there was WAY too much for them to try and clear up by themselves, so decided to just leave it alone and let nature take care of it. Rebecca seemed to think that the release of energy caused by all the purification and Aura clashes and destroying the elemental orbs would rejuvenate the region and transform it into an oasis in time, and Cherry backed her up, so they used that as well as their sheer exhaustion as an excuse for their inaction.), but they expended no less care or effort in creating it. They took Vladimir's coffin and poured some dirt into it since all of his ashes had been washed away in the storm as well as a fragment of the elder vampire's cape that Bob had managed to save, and buried it close to where he had died. They then erected a large statue of the Swalot over the coffin, using scrap from the numerous crashed warships as building material, with another eternal flame planted between the statue's feet with the words '_Here lies Count Dominick; loyal friend and beloved master. He gave his unlife to save his comrade and preserve his mission, a sacrifice that shall never be forgotten'_ engraved on the base with the time and date of his death underneath it. They didn't add his birthdate, because nobody knew it.

"I will not forget what you did for me, Master," Bob said solemnly as he stood before the monument, bowing his head. "I will carry your blood and your memories back to the Mistress, so that our people shall know of your legacy and sacrifice for all time."

"Count…I…to be honest, for the longest time I didn't like you very much," Dean, standing next to the Electrike, confessed, his head bowed in shame and sadness. "You were rude and pushy and kept making me do all sorts of painful and humiliating stuff that I didn't want to. But…I think, near the end, you were starting to grow past that, to become a true noble, the kind that doesn't just boss his underlings around but ensures their well-being and makes sure they're safe and properly cared for. While I can't say I'll miss the…the jerk you could be…I'm sorry that I'll never get the chance to see the kind of mon you were starting to become. That mon, I think…I would have been proud to call Master."

Bob closed his eyes. "Wherever you are, wherever your soul may go in the realms beyond, know that we shall fulfill your last request. We will tell the world of the cruelty of the Nihilators. We will save the Mistress and bring peace to this world…and, I hope, give your spirit peace as well."

"Goodbye, Count. We…we won't let you down. I promise," Dean said quietly, sniffing and trying his darndest not to cry. He failed. As Bob threw back his head and howled mournfully, he wasn't the only one; quite a few of the others, standing a respectful distance away to allow the two vampires to say their farewells in private, found themselves tearing up as well. Even Briney shed a tear…but since it came from under his eyepatch, it might have just been oily discharge or something else.

"Oh, Bow," Fantina rasped, her eyes startlingly red from crying. "I cannot 'elp but blame myself in part for zis."

"What? Mama, no! Zis is not your fault!" Bow protested.

"Isn't it, zough? I liberated Vlad—_Dominick_ and his friends from Bellum. I promised I would keep zem safe and make sure zey would be 'eard. But when Bob was in danger, where was I? Not zere to protect 'im from Zapdos. And so Dominick 'ad to sacrifice 'imself because I could not keep my promise," Fantina said miserably.

"Your Grace, what could you have done? You couldn't realistically have…oh, wait, you could have…" Diane murmured. "I mean, if you were able to split yourself into two, dividing yourself further to be with some of the other groups wouldn't have been beyond your power…"

"Exactly! And because I wasn't zere, Dominick _died!_" Fantina wailed.

"Fantina, if you had divided yourself further, we might not have been able to survive against Articuno or save Ash," Lily pointed out. "The power each of your doubles possesses diminishes the more of you there are. If there had been three or four of you, you might have been able to protect them, yes…or you might have put them in even greater danger, since you wouldn't have been able to bring as much of your power to Beartic against their enemies as you could have with just two of you."

"Zen I should have sent one of me to fight alongside ze vampires-" Fantina started.

"And then we would have been unable to fight Articuno!" Lily interrupted. "She was a tricky opponent, yes, but I don't doubt that she would have been even harder to fight without your help!"

"I don't know about that…" Zippo muttered.

"I do," Butler said. Zippo scowled at him.

Fantina gave Lily a surprised look, and then laughed weakly. "Zank you for zat, Lily. I'm not sure I fully believe you, but…I appreciate your kind words." She smiled. "Strange. Usually I'm ze one who 'as to give _you_ encouragement. Zis is an interesting turn of events."

Lily flushed, startled by her own forwardness. "O-oh! I-I didn't mean to be presumptuous! I was just-"

"Lily, please, it's fine," Fantina interrupted her with a fond smile. "I'm quite pleased, actually. It means you're starting to be more assertive, somezing I approve of whole'eartedly."

Lily's blush deepened. "Oh! Um…th-thank you?"

"Ha! That's my girl!" Leo chortled, smacking Lily on the back and causing her to yelp. "Way to go, babe!"

Lily's whole body seemed to turn red and she hid her eyes under her hat. "L-Leo…"

_I'm very impressed, Lily!_ B said approvingly. _That's just what Fantina needed to hear. And this is a good step for you, too!_

_Th-thank you, B,_ Lily stammered nervously.

_And maybe this means you're finally ready to start acting more assertive in your relationship with Leo, too,_ B continued, much to Lily's horror. _Like taking up Fantina and Bow's offer regarding the Temple of Mew. I bet Leo would _love-

_B!_ Lily screamed in horror, causing her not-quite-imaginary friend to laugh in amusement.

Rose sniffed and hugged Zippo. "Oh, Zippo…why did he have to die? Why do so many of the good people we meet suffer while the evil ones go unpunished?"

"That's just the way things are, Rose…and I wouldn't say the bad guys went unpunished, I mean, we all beat the _shit_ out of Zapdos and the others," Zippo pointed out.

"Well, yes, but…oh…why did he have to die?" the Taillow asked miserably.

The Charmeleon raised an eyebrow. "You really liked the guy, huh?"

She nodded reluctantly. "The first time we met him, I was a little…well…disappointed. After reading all about the vampires in those books you gave me, he seemed a little…well…inferior compared to them."

Zippo winced, wishing for the millionth time he'd never let Rose read those books. "How so?"

"Well, he wasn't handsome, or alluring, and he was arrogant and could be a bit of a jerk sometimes. And he didn't sparkle!" Rose said, her own eyes sparkling as Zippo struggled not to gag. "But…but in the end…even though he wasn't very romantic or gorgeous like the vampires in those books were, I think…I think he was better than them, because he was flawed but not in a creepy way and had hints of true nobility deep down and felt like a real person rather than just a fantasy from a book and had a mission and ideal he was absolutely devoted to and friends he was willing to _die_ for and…and I'm sorry he's dead because I was just starting to like him and now I'll never see what he could have become!"

"That's life, babe. That's life," Zippo said sadly as he let her cry on her shoulder, making a mental note to find the copies of _Midnight_ he'd given her and burn them.

Todd snapped a picture of Bob and Dean mourning at the foot of the memorial. "This should get me a Pullitzer for sure!"

"Do you have _any_ shame or sense of decency at all?" Rebecca asked in disgust.

The Aerodactyl gave her a blank look. "Lady, I'm a newspaper photographer. What do you think?" The Frillish sighed and conceded the point.

"Want me to eat that photo?" Bitey whispered to Cherry.

"Nah, we've done enough to him for now," the former Girafarig said. "And besides, that photo's not going to get him a Pullitzer, anyway."

Todd's face fell upon hearing this. "Aw mon!"

Rebecca raised an eyebrow. "You don't feel like tormenting Todd? This is new. Is something wrong?"

Cherry looked at the statue of Dominick towering over them, of the mourning Bob and Dean, and sighed, looking at the ground. "Last night, I promised everyone that if we stuck to the plan we'd get out of this in one piece. That I didn't foresee any of us dying, that we were all going to make it to Fichina safe and sound. They all believed me, and trusted my vision, that we'd get through this together." She shook her head despondently. "But I was wrong. And because of it Dominick is dead, I'm dead, you got tortured, and Ash and Ritchie and Tiny and Cruise were abducted and nearly killed."

"…It's not your fault," Rebecca said quietly. "You couldn't have anticipated Tarantulas would have found a way to work around your foresight."

"But I _should_ have, Rebecca!" Cherry snapped angrily, whirling on her friend. "I should have known he might try something like this, that someone as conniving as Tarantulas might come up with a way to take even me by surprise! But I was too confident, taking too much pride in my title as the 'best oracle in the world,' to the point that the idea of one of my visions being _wrong_ and that the future might not unfold the way I thought it would never occurred to me! And it didn't just happen once, it happened _twice_, thanks to that Chobin buffoon going crazier than usual thanks to Leo! Yes, we managed to turn that around, but it very easily could have gone the other way, especially since he unleashed the power of a pure evil mon-made legendary Pokémon on us!" She shook angrily. "I believed that the only way things could go wrong was if the others failed to adhere to my 'perfect plan'…that if we screwed up, it would be because of their trying to assert their individuality or free will. But the fault lay in me all along. I did not predict the future as accurately as I thought I would. And because of it…Bob and Dean lost someone very important to them, leaving a hole behind that can never be filled again. And now…now I'm not sure I'll ever be able to trust my foresight again, because if it failed me this badly today, who knows what might happen in the future? What if it lets me down again, when I need it most?"

"…Then you'll just have to deal with it, the same way the rest of us do," Rebecca said.

Cherry blinked in surprise. "Huh?"

"Most people don't have the advantage of always knowing what the future holds," Rebecca said. "And that's scary for a lot of people, not knowing what might happen next, what the consequences of our actions might be. But…you know what? We go ahead anyway, even knowing that we might screw up. And sometimes we do fail. Sometimes we fail in a very big way. But that doesn't keep us from going on with our lives, whether we win or lose, because if we spend all our time dwelling on our past mistakes, or what could go wrong…then we'll never get anything done, and there will be no future at all for an oracle to predict, good or bad, just an eternity of indecision." She looked at Cherry. "So, yeah, maybe you're not as infallible as you thought you were. Maybe if you had completely predicted what would happen before all this started Dominick might still be alive. But he also might not have, because I'm pretty sure that no matter what fate you foretold, Dominick would still have sacrificed himself to save Bob. And yeah, maybe you would have been able to set things up in advance so that would never have happened…but Cherry, your power lets you see what might or will be, not what could have been. So…don't beat yourself up too much about it, okay? I know this may sound weird to someone like you, who's used to always knowing what's going to happen, but…sometimes things happen that we don't or can't expect, and we have to deal with it. It's usually pretty hard, but that's life, and if we waste too much time agonizing over what might have been, we can never move on."

Cherry stared at her oldest friend in amazement. "Funny. I think that's the first time you've ever given _me_ advice about the future."

Rebecca smirked. "It's fun to switch roles once in a while. And hey, I know Dominick died, which sucks, but…we won in spite of it and in spite of any other errors there might have been in your prophesying, and the rest of us are still alive, which is something worth celebrating, don't you think? And besides, one good thing came out of all this…you've got yourself a pet, like you always wanted!"

Bitey blinked. "Huh? Are you talking about me?"

"He isn't a new pet. I always had him, except now he can talk, and isn't attached to my body," Cherry said. She considered this. "Which is actually an improvement, now that I think about it."

Rebecca chuckled. "There you go! Remember, there's always a silver lining…and besides, the spirits assured me that Dominick passed on peacefully and is happy wherever he is now, so don't feel too guilty about him dying, okay? Not even an oracle can plan for every contingency."

"Tell that to Dean and Bob," Cherry said.

"I fully intend to," Rebecca said determinedly.

"Hey, stop that! Get away! Cherry told you not to eat my photo!" Todd squawked, trying to protect his latest picture from the ravenous Gastly.

"I know, but I'm hungry! And besides, she said you're not going to get a Pullitzer from that, so why bother hanging onto it?" Bitey whined.

"Because it's a really good picture, that's why! If you're that hungry, why don't you go eat a dead Nihilator or something?" Todd snapped.

Bitey considered this. "Hmm. There's an idea…" He floated off towards one of the downed ships.

Todd blinked. "I did not think that would actually work."

Cherry sighed. "Oh dear. I'd better go stop him…what was that you said about a silver lining?" Rebecca just chuckled.

"So, will we be having a repeat of last night's spectacular display?" Silvia asked Happy.

The Butterfree shook her head. "No, the ambient magic level isn't high enough to accelerate the metamorphosis of my grubs to the point where they'll pop out fully-grown so soon after laying them."

"Oh. That's a pity, I was hoping to see another spectacle like the one your offspring put on last night," the Claydol said in disappointment.

Happy shook her head. "Maybe in a few months, but not right now."

"Wait, you laid more eggs like you did yesterday?" Goldor asked in surprise.

"Yep!" Happy said. "In the corpses of lots of the Nihilators on those ships."

Rebecca, who heard this, gulped in alarm. "Oh dear…I'd better go help Cherry find Bitey, then…I don't think she'd be happy if he got a taste for eating _living _things…" She quickly floated off after her friend.

"When did you find time to do that?" Buck asked.

"When most of you were eating lunch," Happy said cheerfully. Everyone in earshot turned green at this rather revolting revelation.

"You know, I think this is the first funeral for a vampire I've ever attended," Sam commented. "And I'm not even the guy who killed the vampire, either…feels kinda weird."

"_**Want me to kill the other two vampires to make you feel better?"**_ Outlaw offered.

"What?" George cried in horror.

Sam shook his head. "Nah, they haven't done anything wrong and/or annoying."

"_**Yet,"**_ Outlaw said, narrowing her optic at the grieving vampires.

_I thought you gave a very touching speech for the funeral,_ Darkrai told Sasha, referring to the memorial service she had performed just before they had buried the empty coffin.

_Well, you practically forced me into it,_ Sasha grumbled.

_As my High Priestess, it's your duty to do stuff like that now and then,_ Darkrai said.

_If you say so._ Sasha hesitated. _Master…_

_Yes?_ Darkrai asked.

_Dominick's soul…is it…all right?_ She asked.

_Of course. You don't think I'd let anything happen to him, did you?_ Darkrai asked. _He earned a hero's reward…and that's exactly what I gave him._

Sasha sighed in relief. _That is…very good to hear. Thank you, Master._

_Hey, remember that you're not the only one with duties to the dead,_ Darkrai reminded her. _I'm the god of death, after all. Part of my job is making sure every soul winds up where it belongs. And since I'm at least partly responsible for the guy even being turned into a vampire and winding up out here to begin with, I made absolutely certain he got nothing less than the best for everything he's been through._

_I will be sure to convey that to Bob and Dean. I am sure they will be grateful,_ Sasha said thankfully.

_Heh. See that you do,_ Darkrai said.

Pikachu sighed and shook his head unhappily. "We promised we wouldn't let anymore friends be killed by the Nihilators. Once again, we've failed to keep that promise."

_There is nothing we could have done. And besides, it was Dominick's choice to make,_ Dawn said. _If he had not sacrificed himself, it might be Bob that we were mourning instead. And he might not be the only one buried here, because without Bob's Lightningrod ability, we might have had a more difficult time fighting that monster._

"I know, I know," Pikachu said resignedly. "But still…I've lost far too many friends and colleagues to battle in my lifetime, and I doubt this'll be the last time I see it happen. It's the burden of the warrior, and I accepted it a long time ago, but…that doesn't make it any easier to Beartic."

"It never gets easier, does it?" Leo said sadly, thinking back to the memorial they had constructed yesterday, and to the sad ceremony they had held for the deceased Caretakers after the destruction of the Tree of Beginning.

Pikachu shook his head. "No Leo, it doesn't. Which is why we just have to work that much harder to keep something like this from happening again to the people we care about."

Leo nodded solemnly. "Just another part of being a hero, huh?"

"One of the most important parts," Pikachu agreed. "Never forget it, Leo. Never forget how much it hurts to lose a friend in battle. Because if you do…then you'll forget a lot of other things, too, and some day you might not be a hero anymore, but something else. Something bad."

"I won't. I promise," Leo assured him. "I've had more than my fill of seeing people get hurt by the bad guys, whether they be good buddies or people we've just met or even people I never got the chance to know. I'll do whatever I have to to keep something like that from happening again. I know I probably won't succeed, but…but I gotta try, right? 'Cause otherwise, what's the point of it all?"

Pikachu smiled and, much to Leo's surprise, gave the Squirtle a hug. "And that's why, no matter how much of a pain you can be sometimes, I _know_ you have what it takes to be a true hero."

Leo burst into tears and hugged Pikachu back. "Waaaaahhh! Th-that's gotta be the sweetest thing you've ever said to me! I love you, mon!"

"Okay, that's pushing it a little," Pikachu said through gritted teeth as he tried to break free. "Leo, you can let go now. Leo? LEO!" Leo bawled but continued to hold him tight, ignoring the samurai's protests. "Dawn, do something!"

Dawn shook her head in bemusement. _Oh dear…_ she said as she walked over and did her best to pry her master from the sobbing and overwrought (and overweight) Squirtle's clutches.

Palmer sighed and closed his eyes, murmuring a silent prayer for the deceased vampire. "And so another brave soul is taken from us. As always, the road to peace is cleansed in blood. That is something my kind knows all too well."

"Really? I thought you Dragonites were really peaceful guys," Bruno, who had overheard, said.

Palmer sweatdropped. "Er, I was referring to wizards. Not Dragonites."

"Oh, okay," the Machamp said. Looker regarded the secret ninja suspiciously, not quite buying this story. Palmer smiled idly at him, pondering if it might not be a bad idea to kill the detective before he started prying too much into his background. Thankfully for Looker, he decided it would probably be more trouble than it was worth, and so the Croagunk got to live another day. Unaware of what was going through the mind of the seemingly harmless Dragonite standing right in front of him; Bruno shook his head, an amused smile on his face. "I tell ya, this is not even remotely what I expected to happen when I agreed to come onboard for security detail on this trip."

"If you knew then what you did now about what might happen, would you have refused the job?" Looker asked the Machamp.

Bruno burst into laughter. "Are you kidding? This is some of the most fun I've had in ages! Yesterday I ripped my way out of the intestines of a frost giant. A _frost giant!_ Do you know what would have happened if I'd refused the job and stayed at home? Absolutely nothing. I'd have just kept sitting on my mountaintop and trained and did nothing of worth. I'm _glad_ I got the chance to be a part of this. It's the kind of adventure that only comes once in a lifetime, you know?"

The Croagunk nodded thoughtfully. "Hmm, yes. I think I know what you mean."

"As do I," Palmer agreed.

"Strange," Lugia commented as he watched and sensed everyone's reactions from beside Ash. "I have not known many vampires in my day, and most of the ones I encountered did not stir up such emotions in others. I have heard of vampires who were not evil, but these are the first of such creatures I believe I have ever met."

"They're a new breed of vampires, created by a friend of mine being held hostage by the Nihilators," Ash explained.

"Oh yes, I remember…'Gardevoir,' wasn't it?" Lugia recalled. The sea god frowned. "But how did she become a vampire? I don't think she always was one, was she? I vaguely remember something about her being cursed by a Ninetales, but I'm pretty sure vampirism wasn't part of it."

"Uh, no, it wasn't," Ash admitted.

Lugia's face darkened. "Is this the result of another twisted Nihilator experiment?"

"Um…not exactly…" Ash said hesitantly, not sure how much he should say.

"Yeah, it was Darkrai," Tiny said.

"Tiny!" Ash hissed.

Lugia blinked. "Darkrai? What does he have to do with this?"

_Quite a lot. I'll explain later,_ Darkrai said in Ash and Lugia's heads. _And Ash, don't worry; I was going to tell him about it anyway. Now's not exactly the right time, though._

_But how could you possibly know about that, mysterious voice in my head that's just a figment of my imagination? I thought you weren't Darkrai!_ Ash said with feigned innocence.

…_Heh. Cute,_ Darkrai said in amusement.

_The more I hear, the more it sounds as if you are inextricably tied up in all this,_ Lugia said suspiciously. _Just how deep is your involvement in what's going on, Darkrai?_

_Like I said, I'll tell you later. Maybe during the train ride, since that'll give us some time to chat before you guys reach Fichina and everything gets all hectic again. Oh, and speaking of which, look alive, I think you're about to set out,_ Darkrai said.

Ash and Lugia turned to look as the engineers approached them from where they had parked the Enchanted Express nearby, soot and grease covering their faces and hands as they tried and failed to clean themselves off with equally dirty washcloths. "Okay, we've finished all the necessary repairs to the train, so we're ready to head out whenever you guys are," the Magneton engineer said.

"We also sent word ahead to let everyone back home know that we're okay and that we're bringing a few, ah, souvenirs of war with us," the Aron engineer said, glancing at the captured battleships floating overhead. "So nobody will freak out and start attacking us, thinking we're an invasion force."

"Well that's good to hear, I was worried I'd have to leave the _Shell Shocker VII _behind!" Leo said, a relieved look on his face.

"…The what now?" asked the confused Pikachu.

"The _Shell Shocker VII! _You know, the ship we commandeered during the battle?" Leo said, pointing at one of the ships above them.

"…You _named_ it?" Pikachu asked incredulously.

"Sure, why not? Briney got to rename the ship _he_ captured, didn't he?" Leo asked.

"The lad has a point, I did," Briney admitted. "And a fine name it was, too!"

Salty nodded. "Makes perfect sense. That's what you're supposed to do when you seize a ship of your own, assuming you don't like the name it came with."

Zippo snapped his claws in frustration. "Darn it! I wanted to do something like that!"

"Maybe you can seize a Judgment ship the next time we run into them and you can name it whatever you want then?" Rose suggested.

"Ooh, thanks, that's a great idea!" Zippo said eagerly.

Sparky moaned and facepalmed. "Rose, don't encourage him…"

"Why is it the _Shell Shocker VII?_ What happened to the first six?" Tiny asked.

"Oh, there aren't any. I just named it _VII_ because it's one of my favorite numbers, has an alliterative effect, and so it can be more like Briney's, since his ship has a number in it too," Leo said, causing everyone to sweatdrop.

"Seems reasonable enough," Briney said. "Of course, you realize that hunk of junk up there can't possibly measure up to my _Peeko XII!_ A pity that spineless crew of mine was too gutless to fly it to Fichina or else we could have cleaned up this battle much easier!"

"The pirate ship you captured can fly? Dash it all, all mine can do is sail across and under the ocean and dig underground!" Salty complained.

Briney gave him a puzzled look. "Dig underground? Why would you want to do a fool thing like that?"

"To raid the underground empire of the Agarthans, of course," Salty said.

"Aha! I _told_ you they existed!" Leo Murkrowed triumphantly as the others sweatdropped incredulously.

"…Right. Anyway," the Ampharos chief engineer said loudly, clearing her throat. "We've received orders from the very top that we're to head straight for the capital of Fichina, where they've got this big welcoming ceremony there to greet us all. Lots of very important Pokémon there who we probably shouldn't keep waiting, including Her Magisty the Queen herself. So, I hate to cut our little funeral here short, but I think it might be best if we got a move on before the bigwigs and all the other people who are expecting us lose their patience, which, considering they're some of the greatest and most powerful mages in the world, might not be the best idea."

"Not more powerful zan Mama!" Bow sniffed.

"Well, I wouldn't say _zat_, dear. Ze Queen 'as been alive for longer zan even I 'ave, and certainly knows more, zough she doesn't get as many opportunities to use 'er magic as I do," Fantina corrected Bow. "One of ze prices of 'er position, I'm afraid. And even if I am stronger or at least equal to ze ozzers, while I could probably take most of zem one-on-one, against all of zem I doubt I would stand a chance."

"You're being far too modest, Your Grace," Butler said.

"No, I don't think she is, really," Diane said. The Dusclops shot her an annoyed look.

_Mages even stronger than Fantina or Mother? Oh dear…no wonder Mother has never tried to conquer Fichina, if she's that outclassed,_ the astounded Lily thought.

_And no wonder she would join with a group like the Nihilators, if she believed it would help her become strong enough to destroy them,_ B agreed.

"I guess we should go, then," Rose said reluctantly. "Dean! Bob! Um…I don't mean to cut into your grieving, but…it, ah, might be best if we were to get going. There are a lot of people in Fichina who want to meet you, and the Count wouldn't want you to keep them waiting for too long."

Sparky nodded. "Yes, you need to tell them the information you have on the Nihilators …the information so important they've been doing nothing but trying to kill us for the last two days and nights to keep it from being heard."

"Aye, it's what Dominick wanted you to do, was it not?" Salty added.

The two vampires exchanged glum looks before nodding reluctantly. "Yeah…I guess it is time for us to go…" Dean said unhappily.

"Farewell, Master," Bob said, nuzzling the base of the statue. "We promise to return soon. And we will bring the Mistress and the rest of our brethren with us, so that they may all honor your sacrifice and pay their respects to the first great hero of our people."

"We'll make the Nihilators pay, Count," Dean promised fervently, wiping away the last of his tears. "Those bastards'll suffer for everything they've done to our kind…and for taking you from us. So…so wherever you are, know that we'll do everything we can to make you proud, you hear me? We'll tear those bastards apart in your name, Vlad, and drain their blood until there's nothing left!"

The Wooper trembled, finding himself on the brink of tears again. Bob smiled and hugged him with one arm as Dean sniveled and struggled to maintain his composure. "Well said, my brother. Well said."

With their last goodbyes said to their fallen comrade, everyone started to board the train, ready for one last trip to their final destination. However, there was one last hitch in their plans that delayed them just a little bit longer.

"I don't think she's going to fit in there," George said, looking from Outlaw to the train and back.

"_**Nor would I want to! I'd rather die than set pede in such an inferior claptrap organic-built vehicle as that!"**_ Outlaw sneered.

George raised an eyebrow. "Inferior? Claptrap? This train was able to bring down a sizable number of the warships littering the battlefield around us. And it can _fly._"

"Run," Sam said.

"What?" George asked.

"It was running, not flying. Trains don't run, they-" Sam started.

"Whatever, I don't care," George cut him off before that very tired running gag could be dredged up again. "The point is, this is an _awesome_ train."

"_**Awesome to **_**you**_**, maybe. But the marvels it pulled off are just as easily performed by the trains back on Cybertron. And ours not only **_**can**_** fly, but they can transform!"**_ Outlaw said proudly. _**"Why, one of them, the triple-changer Astrotrain, has his own army of train drones, the Astroforce, which are one of the most feared units in the Decepticon army! Can **_**this**_** train do any of that?"**_

"Um…I don't know, does it?" George asked the Aron engineer, who was nearby.

"Well, um…we sort of fly, and can separate our train into multiple different autonomous vehicles. Does that count?" the engineer asked awkwardly.

"_**Can you transform it into a giant robot? Or a space shuttle?"**_ Outlaw asked.

"Well, no," the engineer admitted.

"_**I rest my case,"**_ Outlaw said smugly, folding her arms. Then she remembered she had only one arm, which sort of ruined the pose, much to her annoyance.

"Well, um…I bet we can go faster than you!" the engineer said, trying to think of a good counter.

Outlaw raised an eyebrow. _**"Oh, really? Care to back up that blatantly erroneous statement?"**_

"Er…yeah. Yeah! Yeah, I do!" the Aron declared angrily, wanting to defend his train's honor.

"_**All right then, let's have a little race! Whoever reaches the capital last will have to become the other's slave for life!"**_ Outlaw declared.

"You're on!" the engineer said without thinking. Then he paused, processing what he had just heard. "Wait, what?"

"_**Excellent! At last I shall have a pet of my own!"**_ Outlaw Murkrowed eagerly. _**"You're not exactly a robot, but your body is made of metal, which is close enough!"**_

"N-now hang on just a minute, let's talk this over," the Aron stammered nervously, horror dawning as he realized just what his pride had foolishly driven him to agree to.

"_**Nope, too late, you accepted the challenge, you can't back out or change the terms now, it's a done deal!"**_ Outlaw said, shaking her head decisively. _**"When I win, which I will, you'll be mine for the rest of your life, and that's that!"**_

"But-but-" the Aron protested desperately.

"She's right, you can't. Going back on your word in a competition is bad sportsmanship! Or sportsmonship. Whatever," Sam said sagely.

"What? Sam, you can't let her do this!" George protested in alarm.

"Why not?" Sam asked, looking honestly perplexed.

"Because it's inPokémane!" George cried.

"Well of course it isn't, I'm not a Pokémon and neither is Outlaw," Sam pointed out.

Outlaw nodded. _**"He's right, I'm not."**_

"SAM!" George shouted.

"Oh, all right," Sam said with a sigh. "Outlaw, do you think you might reconsider the terms of this competition so as not to make this little guy here your slave/pet for life?"

"_**No,"**_ Outlaw said.

"Well, okay then, if you're sure," Sam said with a shrug. George stared at him in disbelief. "What? I tried," he said defensively.

"O-oh crap…boss! BOSS!" the Aron squealed, desperately running for the Ampharos, who had been about to climb into the engine car.

The Ampharos frowned. "What is it, Rono?" she asked, finally giving a name to the Pokémon who'd gone nameless for the last several chapters.

"Boss, I did something really stupid and challenged that giant robot car to a race, and if we can't beat her to the capital, I have to be her slave for life!" Rono cried.

The Ampharos facepalmed. "Oh, Rono…how many times have I told you not to make stupid bets like that? I warned you that sooner or later something like this would happen!"

"You gotta help me!" Rono wailed desperately. "I don't wanna be her slave! She's mean and scary and lives in another dimension which sounds horrible!"

"So you're getting married, then?" the Magneton engineer joked.

"Coil!" the Ampharos hissed, giving her subordinate a name as well.

"Right, right. Not funny. Sorry," the Magneton apologized.

"What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do? _What am I gonna do?_" Rono shrieked.

"Calm down. We'll try our best to win," the Ampharos said, bopping him on her head. "Even if this is all your fault, we aren't going to let you go without a fight, or allow this train's honor to be sullied by losing in a race with a car."

Rono perked up at this. "That's right! We've got the best train in the world on our side! There's no way she can beat that!"

"Um, are you sure about that? She's an alien robot car from a planet where they have trains that can not only fight in wars, but fly for real and turn into giant robots and space shuttles and stuff," Coil pointed out, causing Rono to panic again.

"I'M SO SCREWED!" the Aron yelled.

The Ampharos glared at Coil. "Not helping."

"Sorry," he apologized.

"You sure you want to go through with this? You took a bit of damage during the battle," Sam asked Outlaw, who was currently stretching and doing transform-ups to prepare for the race. "Plus, you're going to be dragging _both_ of your trophies behind you," he added, pointing at the severed heads of the Arachnoblast and the Robo-Groudon Mk II, which were sitting nearby.

"_**Please, I could beat this sad excuse for a locomotive even if I were dragging an entire battleship and lost **_**both**_** my arms rather than just one!"**_ Outlaw bragged. She paused and glanced at one of the nearby wrecked ships and then at her remaining arm for a moment, as if considering tearing it off to give herself even more of a handicap, then decided against it.

Sam shrugged. "Well, you know your limits better than I do, so if you're sure…"

"_**I am,"**_ Outlaw said curtly.

"All right, then," Sam said, leaving her alone.

"You're really going to let her do this?" George asked.

"I already asked her not to and she said she was going to. What more am I supposed to do?" Sam asked.

"…I don't know, maybe _try harder?_" she said angrily.

"Oh, all right," he said. He turned to the robot, which was now doing one-handed push-ups. "Outlaw, do you think that maybe-"

"_**If you're trying to talk me out of this, don't bother, I'm going to do it,"**_ she said stubbornly.

"Well, okay, but what if you lose?" Sam asked.

"_**I won't,"**_ Outlaw said. _**"You know as well as I do this train has no chance of beating me."**_

"You've got a point there. Okay, carry on, then," Sam said.

"_**I fully intend to," **_Outlaw said as she started doing sit-ups.

"I guess that's that, she's made up her mind and there's no changing it. Oh well. Anyway, want to ride with us? Could be fun. Plus, you'll get to see what it's like to drive in an authentic DeSoto Adventurer that's got demonic powers and is actually a robot warrior from space, and how often do you get the chance to do that?" Sam asked George, not seeming the slightest bit perturbed that a Pokémon's freedom was on the line.

The Mightyena stared at him in disgust for several seconds. "No thanks," she said finally. "I think I'd rather take the train."

Sam shrugged, not looking particularly upset by this. "All right. Suit yourself."

"_**Have fun taking the slow ride, loser! We'll see you at the finish line!"**_ Outlaw taunted as the fuming George boarded the train, wondering yet again why she'd ever thought there might be something about Sam worth pursuing. _**"And you too, little one! Your shiny metal ass is mine! Hope you're looking forward to being my pet for the rest of your life!"**_ the Decepticon continued, spotting Rono nervously peering out from the side of the engine car. _**"Which will be for a lot longer than you might expect, because I intend to use cybernetic augmentation to make you more durable so you can survive on Cybertron and defend yourself from other pets and my fellow Decepticons, potentially increasing your lifespan by millennia!**_**"** Rono squealed in terror and pulled his head back into the car. Outlaw frowned. _**"He doesn't seem particularly thrilled by the prospect of being my pet."**_

"Gee, I wonder why?" Sam said without a hint of irony.

Outlaw was not the only one who would not be riding the train to Fichina. "I'm sorry, Ash, but I don't think I can fit inside," Lugia said apologetically, peering skeptically at the door into one of the train cars, which looked much too small for him to fit in.

"You'd be surprised. This train's a lot bigger on the inside than it is on the outside," Ash said. "And it's magical, so maybe it can be changed to accommodate you or something."

"Even so, I do not think I will try it out," Lugia said. "I am not particularly fond of small, enclosed spaces."

"You live in a cave," Ash pointed out.

"A very large and roomy cave," Lugia corrected. "With plenty of exits and tunnels I can fit through easily. This train has nothing of the kind. If it's all the same to you, I would be more comfortable flying."

"Well…all right. Do you want me to fly with you?" Ash asked hopefully.

Lugia gave Ash a surprised look. "You do not wish to ride with your friends?"

Ash hesitated. "Um, well…"

"Go ahead, Ash. We don't mind," Pikachu said, patting his brother on the back.

"We don't?" Tiny asked, looking a little hurt. Briney shushed him.

"Yeah, I mean, given a pick between riding on the back of a god-bird or inside a lush, ultra-comfy, fully-stocked luxury magic train with all sorts of cool features and goodies and other mystical thingamabobs, I certainly know which one I would choose!" Leo said.

"…The train?" Tiny said in confusion.

"Exactly! But Ash isn't me, which is why he'd be happier riding on Lugia than inside with us." Leo frowned, looking as if he had just confused himself. "I…think." Everyone sweatdropped.

"You don't want to ride with us, Ash?" Lily asked in concern. "We've barely seen anything of you all day, and you got yourself into a lot of trouble without us…"

"Yeah, Daddy, don't you want to spend time with us?" Tiny whimpered.

Ash grimaced, Lily and Tiny's sad eyes piercing his soul. "It's not that I don't want to hang out with you guys, because I do," Ash said. "It's just…there's some things I need to discuss with Lugia. Like, I need to fill him in on everything that's going on, and…" He turned to face Lugia. "There are some things I think he needs to tell me, too. Like stuff about my destiny, and being the Chosen One, and maybe a few…other things I'm not quite ready to talk about with you guys yet." They frowned at this, wondering what he meant…and why they felt wary as he said it.

Lugia bowed his head respectfully. "I am honored and gratified that you place such trust in me, Ash. I am not certain how many answers I can provide you with, for much of your destiny is a mystery to me as well, but I will tell you as much as I can."

"Thank you, Lugia," Ash said gratefully. "Any information you can give me is probably more than what I already have."

"Okay, I guess you've got a good reason to chill with Lugia," Briney grunted. "But there's _another_ reason you want to go with him, isn't there?"

Ash blinked. Did Briney know about how he'd heard Misty's voice? Somewhat nervously, he asked, "What do you mean?"

"You like flying, don't you?" Briney asked, causing Ash to breathe an inward sigh of relief. It looked as if whatever Lugia had done earlier to keep Briney out of Ash's head was still in effect.

"Yeah, you got me," Ash laughed. "It's always kind of been a dream of mine to fly, which is why I love to ride on a Flying Pokémon any chance I get."

"It's true, he does," Pikachu said when the others glanced to him for confirmation.

"I may even find a way to fly on my own someday. I think there's a technique in my book that'll let me channel Aura through my fists and feet to levitate me off the ground," Ash said eagerly. "But it's a little too advanced for me to use…yet."

"I may be able to help with that," Lugia said. "As I told you before, I know quite a lot about Aura, even though I cannot use it myself. Since I was able to teach you how to extract the legendary birds' power, I might be able to help you unlock some of your other powers as well."

"Could you? That would be awesome!" Ash said excitedly.

"Certainly. I would be happy to help you," Lugia said. "It may help you in gaining the strength you need to confront your inner darkness, which is something I believe all of us wish for you to succeed at."

The others nodded. "You got that right," Briney said.

"Ooh, could you help me get stronger too?" Tiny asked hopefully.

"I'm afraid not, Tiny," Lugia said apologetically. "You're still too young. Your power hasn't matured enough yet. Perhaps when you're a little older, or after you've evolved, I can see about teaching you something."

"Awww, that's what everyone says!" Tiny whined.

"It's probably for the best, Tiny. Aura business aside, the things I need to talk to Lugia about are kind of…adult in nature. I don't think you're ready to hear it yet," Ash said. _Just like I'm not sure I'm ready to talk about it yet._

Lugia gave Ash a curious and slightly concerned look. "We will discuss whatever is bothering you on the way to Fichina, along with you filling me in on everything that's been going on in greater detail. I'll try to teach you a thing or two about Aura if there's time before we get there, and if not, we'll do it once we have some time to ourselves after we get there." Lugia frowned. "Assuming we _have_ time to ourselves after we get there…I imagine things are going to get very busy for all of us once we arrive, and tell them all we know of the evil of the Nihilators."

Ash frowned in concern. "You think so?"

Lugia nodded. "Oh, yes, I'm certain of it. Since all of us have had a great deal of experience with the Nihilators, not only will everyone be clamoring to hear about our encounters with them, we will also no doubt be called in to consult on strategies to destroy them once and for all."

"I see…" Ash murmured.

"Eh, shouldn't be so hard. We just find the Nihilator base, smash in, and blow it up. It's always worked for me," Briney said casually.

_This isn't just any Nihilator base, it's their main stronghold we're talking about,_ Dawn pointed out. _There will be more Nihilators gathered there than any of us have ever fought before, even you._

"Good. That means there are just that many more of them for me to kill," Briney said.

"There are also their many hostages to consider, including Gardevoir, Lugia's wife and son, and whoever else they're holding captive," Pikachu pointed out, Lugia nodding in agreement.

"Eh, I'll try not to blow them up, then," Briney said. Everyone looked at him. "What? I can exercise restraint when I want to! I just usually don't!" They sweatdropped, not believing this in the slightest.

"So they're going to be looking to us on how to take out the bad guys? Sweet! We're gonna be celebrities!" Leo said ecstatically. "Finally, some recognition for all our hard work and heroics!"

"Leo, we already have lots of recognition for all our hard work and heroics from the people we've saved," Pikachu pointed out.

"Yeah, from a few towns here and there, but nothing on the scale of an entire _country!_" Leo gushed. Pikachu sighed and shook his head in exasperation.

"The attention of an entire country?" Sasha asked in alarm.

"Probably more, since this'll be news so big we're gonna be household names all over the world!" Leo said cheerfully.

"…Oh dear," Sasha said, looking very unnerved by this.

_Hey, fame's a small price to pay for being a hero, _Darkrai said to her.

_It's not one I ever was made aware that I might be paying!_ Sasha said.

_Oh, did I forget to mention that? Sorry,_ Darkrai said, not sounding very apologetic.

She growled in exasperation. _I'm just a simple Pokémon of the mountains! How do I keep getting myself _into_ these situations?_

_Because you promised me your life in exchange for your son's?_ Darkrai reminded her.

_That was a rhetorical question!_ She snapped. Darkrai chuckled.

Sasha wasn't the only one who was a bit worried about suddenly becoming famous. _I did a lot of bad things while I was with Mother…and the whole world knows how evil she is,_ Lily realized in alarm. _And once they realize my connection to her, all the awful things I've done will be brought to light as well…and I can't imagine they'll just let it go because I'm a hero now. I was evil for longer than I've been good…_

_Relax, Lily. You were never evil to begin with!_ B said.

_Even if I was unwilling, I committed countless atrocities over the three hundred years I've been unalive,_ Lily said miserably. _Something like that isn't so easy to forgive._

_Your friends have,_ B said.

_That's because they're my friends, and I'm not sure they really understand just how much badness I've done. And even if they forgive me, that doesn't mean the rest of the world will…_ Lily thought anxiously. _And since I'm here, but my Mother isn't…they may want to make an example of me…_

_That's not going to happen,_ B said. _Your friends won't allow it, and neither will Fantina._

_I know they won't, but…if an entire country, if the whole _world_ demands my head, will there really be anything they can do?_ Lily asked miserably.

_They'll fight to the death to protect you,_ B said firmly.

_I know. That's what scares me most of all,_ Lily said despondently. _That they'll die for my sake…I don't want that to happen to _anyone_, especially not Leo!_

_It won't,_ B said.

_How do you know that?_ Lily demanded.

_The same way I knew that you and Leo would wind up together. The same way I knew that joining up with Ash and making friends would be the best thing that ever happened to you. The same way I know that Leo's going to break your curse, and that somehow, in spite of the odds…everything's going to turn out all right in the end,_ B said.

_Cherry said roughly the same thing. She was wrong, twice in the same day,_ Lily pointed out.

_Cherry is limited by the fact that she lives inside your timestream. That's not a problem for me,_ B said.

A chill ran through Lily as she considered this. _…B, just what _are_ you, really?_

_Yeah, I'd like to know the same thing,_ Briney said.

_This is a private conversation!_ B said angrily.

_And I should care?_ Briney said blithely.

B sighed in exasperation. _Whatever. I'm not quite ready to reveal everything yet, but soon enough you'll know who I really am, Lily. Until then, know this: I always have been and always will be your friend._

As the frowning Lily mulled this over, there was a loud whistle as the train tooted its horn, grabbing everyone's attention. "Aaaaalll aboard!" the Ampharos engineer shouted, her voice amplified by magic so everyone could hear her. "Next stop, Fichina! Everyone who wants to get out of this godsforsaken wasteland and back to civilization had better get on in the next five minutes or else they'll be left behind! This is a one-way full-speed straight shot for the capital with no stops or breaks, so if you're planning on getting there some other way you might want to reconsider, because once we get going it'll be pretty dang hard for you to keep up with us!"

"It will not be a problem for me, I assure you, Ash," Lugia reassured the Lucario when Ash looked up at him questioningly. "I _am_ a god, after all. And a bird, at that. I can handle long-distance flights at high speeds with little effort, even as tired as I am from all the fighting. And if I lose strength, I can always roost on one of the ships we're bringing with us until I feel better."

"Good thing Zippo and I programmed the autopilot so they'll follow the train without any of us needing to be on board to steer them," Leo said.

"And it's an even better thing the Fichinan military got word ahead of time that they're coming so they don't start shooting at us," Pikachu said.

Leo blinked. "Oh yeah…I never thought of that. I guess they could easily mistake us for the bad guys with those things in tow, couldn't they?"

Pikachu sweatdropped. "Yeah, you think?"

"Any second thoughts?" George called from the train door, watching as Sam hooked a pair of heavy-duty chains attached to the severed robot heads to Outlaw's rear bumper, the Decepticon having transformed back into vehicle mode.

"Nope, not in the slightest," Sam said, waving cheerfully as he climbed into the driver's seat. "We'll meet you at the finish line!"

"_**And my prize had better be waiting for me, or there'll be Pit to pay!"**_ Outlaw growled, her engine revving. Rono yelped and scurried under a control panel in the engine car, trembling in fear.

As Team Getem boarded the train, Ritchie paused at the entrance, staring for a moment at Ash, who was climbing onto Lugia's back as his friends shouted encouragements. A small frown creased his face. "Jealous much?" Zippo, who had poked his head out to see what was keeping him, asked upon seeing where his leader was looking.

"Huh? No, not at all! Don't be ridiculous!" Ritchie lied. Zippo, along with the rest of his team, shot him skeptical looks. Ritchie's shoulders sagged. "Well, okay, maybe a little…"

"Ha! I knew it!" Zippo Murkrowed.

"That's not something to be pleased about," Sparky said.

"Yes, except that it meant I was right, which is always a good thing!" the Charmeleon said smugly.

"That's debatable," Lu said drily, causing Zippo to facefault.

"Daddy, I thought you said you were happy with me!" Cruise said, looking hurt.

"What? Of course I am, champ! Don't ever think otherwise!" Ritchie said quickly, hugging his son.

"Then why are you jealous of Ash?" Rose asked.

Ritchie sighed. "It's just…growing up; the legend of the Chosen One was one of my favorite Aura Guardian stories to hear about from my parents. When I was younger, I always fantasized that I might be the Chosen One. When I got older, I realized how unlikely that was and gave up on it, but…well, then I got caught up in this adventure to save the world from Judgment, and gained the power to use one of Arceus' Plates, and I guess some small part of me started wondering if maybe I _was_ the Chosen One after all…" He shook his head sadly. "And then I meet the real thing, who's on an adventure even bigger and more important than I am, against villains far eviler and more dangerous than the ones we fight, and I can't help feeling second-rate. Like I'm not the real hero anymore, just some secondary character who's only tangentially related to the big picture."

"That is so meta," Zippo said.

"Lad, you're forgetting two things," Salty said. "One is that even if you're not the hero of the tale Ash and his friends are wrapped up in, you're still the hero of _our_ story. We're trying to save the world too, which means what we're doing is important in the long run too, because so what if Team Aurabolt defeats the Nihilators if Judgment pops up out of the blue and fills the power vacuum by conquering the world because we didn't stop them?"

"…I guess that's true," Ritchie admitted.

"And the other thing…is that you may not be the Chosen One, but at least you're _sane_, unlike Ash, and at least half of his crew, who I'm fairly certain are all raving bonkers considering how most of them have ridiculously depressing and screwed up pasts, are probably suffering from serious psychological problems, and more than one of whom is constantly talking to voices in their heads," Salty said wisely.

Ritchie considered this. "…You know, you might have something there."

Lu nodded. "He's right. I wouldn't say we're exactly the picture of mental stability, but I think we have a slightly stronger grip on sanity than most of them. Well, except for Zippo."

"What are you, crazy?" Zippo asked incredulously. "Leo's _way_ nuttier than I am!" Everyone looked at him. "Well, okay, a little nuttier." Everyone looked at him. "Oh, forget it…"

Ritchie grimaced. "You know, now I'm actually feeling sorry for those guys…"

"Does that mean you aren't jealous anymore?" Cruise asked hopefully.

"Oh no, I'm a little jealous," Ritchie admitted. "But like Salty said, we're really better off than those poor guys are, so I guess I should be satisfied with what I have—which is pretty damn good—instead of envying Ash, because even though he _does_ have the awesome destiny, he has waaaaaay too much baggage for my liking."

"What baggage? I thought he packed lightly for his trip on the train," Cruise said naively, causing everyone to facepalm.

"Not that kind of baggage, Cruise," Ritchie said.

"So…does this mean you're not gonna go off the deep end and turn into some psychotic wackjob who'll throw everything away and try to kill Ash and his friends out of some twisted desire for revenge for not being as important as he is?" Zippo asked.

Everyone stared at the Charmeleon incredulously. "What? No! Why the heck would I do that?" the shocked Ritchie asked.

Zippo shrugged. "Hey, it happens more often than you'd think."

The train whistled again, signaling it was almost time to leave. Ash waved to his friends from Lugia's back. "I'll see you guys in Fichina!" he shouted to them.

The rest of the team, standing in the train door, waved back. "Have fun flying!" Lily called.

"Have a good time, Daddy!" Tiny yelled.

"Don't fall off!" Sasha said.

"Enjoy your time away from us!" Briney hollered.

"I'll save you some snacks from the kitchen!" Leo cried.

_You will?_ Dawn asked in surprise.

"Nah, but he won't remember I told him I would by the time we get to our stop," Leo said.

"Enjoy yourself, after everything you've been through today, you've earned this!" Pikachu shouted.

Ash smirked. "Heh. I have, haven't I? Don't worry, I'm gonna milk as much fun out of this as I can!"

"I thought we were flying for business, not pleasure," Lugia said.

"What, it can't be both?" Ash replied.

"That's right Ash, and it has nothing to do with your fear of hurting your friends…or maybe, because you're afraid _they_ might hurt you?" Misty whispered in his ear. Ash ground his teeth but said nothing, promising himself he'd talk to Lugia about this almost as soon as they were off. "Hmm, are you sure this is such a good idea?" his tormentor continued, apparently reading his thoughts. "What if Lugia thinks you're too much of a danger once he realizes how screwed up you are and decides to kill you? Up that high, there'll be nobody to save you…then again, you don't really need saving, do you? You killed those big bad legendary birds mostly by yourself. It would be easy to kill Lugia too…especially when he's not expecting it, since he's too besotted with you to ever _imagine_ that you might betray him…"

"Shut up!" Ash hissed.

"I didn't say anything," said the confused Lugia.

"Ooh, smooth move!" Misty laughed as Ash cursed under his breath. "Way to go at not making yourself look crazy, Ash!"

"It-it's something we need to talk about," Ash said nervously, forcing a smile. "I'll explain in the air, okay?"

Lugia frowned, clearly unsettled by Ash's behavior. "…As you wish, Ash." Ash's friends exchanged glances, equally unnerved.

They were broken from this reverie when the whistle blew one last time, and the doors on the sides of the train slid shut, separating Ash from his friends, although he could still see them through the window, waving at him. As he waved back, Lugia spread his wings and rose into the air while the train's wheels lit up, golden tracks of light shooting out before it and weaving a path through the graveyard of wrecked ships and shattered ground around them in the direction of Fichina. The engine's eyes lit up, and the cone on its top started spinning, energy crackling around it and dancing along the cars, causing the decorations on the sides to gleam dazzlingly as magical mechanisms all over the vehicle powered up. Residual energy crackling around them, the wheels churned into motion with a great screech, moving slowly at first but rapidly picking up speed as they carried the train along the track. Above it, the captured ships rumbled as their thrusters lit up and ignited with a tremendous roar, propelling the massive vessels forwards along the same heading as the accelerating train below, their shadows darkening the land beneath them as they passed overhead, sunlight glistening off the gleaming form of the train or Lugia's sleek silvery body as they passed through the gaps between the ships' penumbra.

Seeing everyone else set off, Outlaw knew it was time for her to go as well if she were going to win her race and collect her slave. With a fearsome roar, the DeSoto's engine revved to life, headlights flashing and wheels spinning so fast the friction they generated causing them to burst into flames as flames shot from her exhaust and she lunged forwards, pulling the chains behind her taut as she strained to pull her cargo along with her. For a moment, it looked like she would fail, as the car seemed unable to make any headway no matter how hard she tugged, the shriek of her spinning wheels growing louder and louder as the rubber vaporized and began to melt divots into the ground.

But then, impossibly, the giant robot heads hooked to her fender began to move. There was a very loud scraping noise and sparks flew from their undersides as they were dragged forwards, moving a lot quicker than you would expect something their size and weight being towed by something so much smaller and lighter than them to go, leaving long grooves and bits of torn-off partially melted scrap in their wake as Outlaw began to pick up speed, going faster in spite of her heavy burden. _**"Haha! You see? I told you I could do it!"**_ Outlaw bellowed triumphantly from the radio on the DeSoto's dashboard.

"Hmm, not bad," Sam said mildly. He frowned and tapped the speedometer, noticing to his dismay that they were going at under 65 miles per hour, something they almost never, _ever_ did. After all, slow driving was for chumps and old people! "But they've already got a bit of a headstart, and I don't think we can move much faster than this towing those giant robot heads."

"_**Well, what else am I supposed to do with them? I can't leave them here and come back later; they'll probably be stolen by scrap thieves by then! Or worse, defecated on by organic birds!" **_Outlaw growled, the radio's dials spinning angrily. _**"Unless they can fit inside your inventory?"**_

"Afraid not, they exceed the size limit of the cardboard box I carry in my pocket," Sam said.

"_**Then what do you suggest I do? I have no intention of losing to an organic-made vehicle!"**_ Outlaw said.

"_You're_ an organic-made vehicle," Sam pointed out.

"_**I got better!"**_ she said indignantly.

Sam scratched his chin in thought as he stared straight ahead at the tail end of the Enchanted Express, which was now an alarming distance away from them, the golden rails it was riding on already fading from view. "Hmm…we could always take a shortcut."

"_**A shortcut? Ah, of course, what a wonderful idea! I knew I kept you around for some reason!"**_ Outlaw chortled in delight. Her steering wheel spun to the side and she whirled about, tires screeching and leaving tracks burnt into the earth as she did a very tight and violent U-turn, the robot heads she was towing whipped off the ground by her momentum and smashing into the side of a nearby wreck, crumpling the already damaged frame of the Arachnoblast's cockpit further. This didn't bother Outlaw much, however, since the worse shape it was in, the more damage she could claim she'd inflicted on it when she got back to Cybertron.

Like the speed demon she was, she shot off, driving in the exact opposite direction the Enchanted Express and everyone else were going. Seeing this on one of the monitors in the engine room, Rono cheered ecstatically. "Yes! She's going the wrong way!"

"That's weird…" Coil murmured in puzzlement. "Why would she be doing that?"

"How should I know? She's a crazy alien robot car, maybe she thinks that'll take her to the finish line quicker because physics work differently on her planet or something, but who cares? She's going the wrong way, which means I'm gonna win…and have a really awesome car! Woohoo!" Rono cheered.

"Hmm…for some reason, I don't think it's quite as simple as that…" the Ampharos chief engineer murmured as she watched Outlaw vanish over the horizon, a cloud of dust thrown up by the robot heads she was dragging the only sign that she had ever been there. "She's up to something…"

Further down the train, Team Aurabolt remained inside the entrance to their car, staring through the window on the door at Ash and Lugia, soaring above them. A weighty silence hung over them. Finally, Pikachu said, "Briney?"

"Yes?" the Metang asked.

"There's something very wrong with Ash, isn't there?" the samurai said.

"I can't read his mind ever since Lugia shut me out, but…yeah, something's not right. I can feel it…" Briney growled.

"As can I," Sasha said somberly.

"And me," Tiny said uneasily. "Daddy's heart isn't closed to me, and…and something's bothering him. I'm not sure how to describe it, but…I think…I think I'm starting to feel something _stirring_ inside him. Something _bad._"

"Wow, that is not the least bit ominous," Leo said, laughing nervously.

"What do we do?" Lily asked worriedly.

"At the moment? Nothing," Pikachu said.

"Well, not like we could anyway, since he's out there and we're in here," Leo pointed out.

"Ash said he needs to talk to Lugia about some things. Hopefully that includes whatever's bugging him. With any luck, Lugia will help him straighten it out," Pikachu continued.

_And if he doesn't?_ Dawn asked.

Pikachu narrowed his eyes. "Then we'll have to deal with it ourselves…whether Ash wants us to or not."

Outside, unaware that his friends were sort of conspiring against him—which would have made the evil Misty's voice delighted to hear that some of the paranoia she was trying to instill in him was at least partially justified—Ash looked out across the Shimmering Desert. Thanks to the shade provided by the confiscated battleships flying above them, the heat from the Sun wasn't too bad, and the wind shear from flying at such high speeds was mitigated thanks to Lugia throwing up a psychic screen to keep out the worst of the cold and the wind's bite. From his high vantage, the sunlight-dappled hulks of wrecked warships littering the battlefield actually seemed picturesque and scenic, like they were something that belonged there and were perfectly natural rather than something that had just happened only a short while ago. "What do you suppose will happen to all of these?" he asked.

Lugia smiled thoughtfully as he gazed down at the wrecks surrounding them. "I imagine that the majority of them will be gutted and used either for salvage or studied to try and understand how Nihilator technology works. Even though you've captured some of their ships in relatively good condition, I doubt that will be enough to satisfy the curiosity of all the world's nations and corporations, who will want to use the technology here to benefit themselves. Whatever remains will one day be repurposed for use by indigenous Pokémon and used for shelter. A thriving town might spring up here, occupied both by the native desert-dwellers and settlers coming out here to seek technological wealth in the ruins of these vessels. I have seen it happen many times on the seafloor with sunken ships as marine Pokémon and nature claims them and turns them into new homes as time wears on and they become regarded as part of the landscape rather than an intrusive and unnatural invasion."

"One mon's trash is another mon's treasure, huh?" Ash murmured.

"Essentially, yes," Lugia agreed. "I find it fascinating myself. Sometimes when ships sink to the seafloor—or in this case, crash—they have a negative effect on the environment. Other times the environment adapts and incorporates these relics from another world into their ecosystems."

Ash made a face as he looked at the shattered desert plains. "It looks like these things did a bit more of the former than the latter."

"Normally that would be the case, but the elemental energies released during our battle have saturated the soil and are even now helping to heal this broken land," Lugia said. "One day this warzone will become a lush, fertile oasis, making it even more likely that Pokémon will live here and convert this place into a settlement someday."

Ash's eyes widened in amazement. "Wow…you think so?"

"I know it, or at least strongly believe it to be so," Lugia said. "As I have said, I have seen similar things happen on the seafloor countless times, and while admittedly this is not the seafloor and so beyond my area of expertise, I see no reason it cannot be so in this case as well."

"That's so cool!" Ash gushed. "I'd love to see that!"

Lugia chuckled. "As would I…however, it will probably take quite some time for such a thing to occur. Maybe years."

Ash's face fell at that. "Really? That sucks…hey, maybe the guys in Fichina can speed up the process using their magic? I mean, they aren't too far away, and it's not like anyone else has a claim to this land, right? Well, nobody that's not a 'wild' Pokémon, anyway."

"They might…" Lugia said. "However, it is possible they might also do their best to discourage such a settlement from occurring."

Ash blinked in surprise. "Huh? Why would you do that?"

"For exactly the reason you just mentioned…they aren't too far from here, and nobody else has claim to this land," Lugia said.

Ash frowned in puzzlement. "I don't follow."

Lugia's eyebrows rose. "You don't…ah, I see. You are not aware of Fichina's history, are you?"

"Um, no. Should I be?" Ash asked.

"Well, considering that we're going there right now and intend to ask them for help against the Nihilators, I should think so!" Lugia grunted in annoyance.

"Right. Sorry. Stupid question," Ash said Mareepishly. Both out of curiosity and a shamefully desperate attempt to put off the uncomfortable thing he knew he had to discuss with Lugia for a little longer, Ash asked, "So…what do I need to know, and what does it have to do with why they might not be happy about an oasis town growing out here?"

"About a thousand years ago, the world was destroyed by Lord Null and remade by Mew and the Savior Deoxys. You are aware of this, yes?" Lugia asked.

"Yeah," Ash replied.

"Then you will also remember that even though nearly everyone who died in the cataclysm was resurrected, our memories of the disaster itself and the events leading up to it were…incomplete," Lugia said, sounding embarrassed. "While many of the deities such as myself were filled in on some of the more basic details, for whatever reason—either because those above us didn't know, which is a worrying thought in and of itself, or because they did not wish _us_ to know, which is even more frightening—anything more complex, like just who Lord Null was, why he did what he did, and how precisely he destroyed the world was still a mystery to us, and remains that way to this day."

"Well, considering Null seems to be up to his old tricks under the new identity of Oblivion's Shadow, maybe this time we'll get some answers," Ash said. "Especially since I still don't remember everything that happened either, and am trying to learn." _Although a part of me is scared of what I'll find out._

Lugia nodded in agreement. "One can only hope that is the case. In any event, the fact that so few of us were really sure of what exactly happened back then led a great many Pokémon to try and come up with their own conclusions as to the cause of the disaster, and due to the lack of hard evidence, each theory was wilder than the last. Some believed that humans had either wiped themselves out, or that we legendaries had destroyed them for their sins and left the Earth for Pokémon to inhabit. Others thought that there had been some great Pokémon revolution, leading to a war so powerful that it reshaped the world and scrambled everyone's memories. There were also stories of alien invasions, interdimensional travel, some kind of 'Rapture'…you get the idea. Your average conspiracy theories."

"Why didn't you set anyone straight?" Ash asked.

"Partly because we didn't really see much reason to, and partly because we still didn't really know what had happened ourselves," Lugia admitted reluctantly. "Anyway, one idea that got a lot of support was that mages were to blame, since pretty much everything that had happened,_ especially_ the memory loss, could probably be explained by magic. Since this theory made more sense than most of the others, naturally a lot of Pokémon bought into it, and as a result magic-users the world over began to suffer a great deal of persecution from frightened and misguided fools trying to find an explanation for why things were the way they were."

Ash winced at this. "Ouch…"

"Yes, it was not very pleasant," Lugia agreed. "However, it turned out for the better, because even though it was vile and repulsive, that prejudice led to the founding of Fichina."

"Oh yeah? How'd that happen?" Ash asked.

"Well, since mages were being attacked and discriminated against, it was only natural that some would start fighting back…which naturally fed the fires of prejudice even more and caused more and more Pokémon to demand the death of all magic-users, leading to even more brutal magical retaliations, both sides escalating more and more and perpetuating the pointless cycle of hatred. Things were starting to look so bad we Legendaries were considering intervening; although we weren't certain if we would help matters or exacerbate them. Fortunately, it didn't reach that point. About fifty or so of the most powerful and morally ambiguous mages of that time combined their powers to channel all their magic into a child they had raised and prepared from birth to serve as a vessel for their awe-inspiring power, in the process creating a being of such mystic might they hoped it would rid the world of all those who sought to snuff out magic and bring the planet under sorcerous control for all time," Lugia said.

"That's horrible!" said the shocked Ash.

"It was indeed. Fortunately, it didn't work quite as planned," Lugia said smugly. "It's a good thing those mages sacrificed their own lives to empower their ultimate weapon too, otherwise they would have been most displeased at what it chose to do with its new power."

"Why, what did it choose to do?" Ash asked.

"The entity they had created was now the most powerful magician that had ever set foot on the Earth, a mage of such unfathomable might even we gods would have had trouble besting it," Lugia said. "However, rather than using its arcane fury to conquer the world and crush all non-magical beings beneath its heel, the child realized that continuing to use violence would solve nothing in the long run, and the world created by such a solution would not be a particularly pleasant one. Rather than destroy everyone who had no magic, the child decided instead to create a haven for mages of every species and alignment, where they could live free from the prejudices and hatred of the outside world."

"And that haven was Fichina, I take it," Ash realized.

Lugia nodded. "Indeed. The child realized that war would only make things worse, but peaceful coexistence was at that point not feasible. The best option the child could think of was for the magical creatures to seclude themselves from the rest of the world until tensions had eased and it would be safe for them to reestablish ties. The child gathered the greatest living mages remaining and combined their power to shift the planet's ley lines to create a massive intersection over one spot, creating an area intensely rich with magical energy. That area became Fichina."

"Cool," Ash said.

"Due to all the magic concentrated in that place, life flourished, creating a veritable paradise. Magical beings flocked to the new land from all over the world, eager for a new start and a refuge from the trials and trepidations they were suffering at the hands of the outside world. The legendary Pokémon Zekrom, Reshiram, Kyurem and Victini migrated to Fichina as well, curious to see what this new land would be like and wanting to be a part of its future," Lugia said.

Ash raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Oh really? Wow, I haven't seen any of those guys in…like, a thousand years. Literally. Are they still there now?"

Lugia nodded. "Indeed. They have become guardian deities of the realm. It will be good to see them again, and I am sure that they will be more than happy to assist us on our quest."

"Heh, no doubt…the more allies we have against the Nihilators, the better, and it's hard to get much better than legendaries!" Ash agreed.

Lugia nodded and continued his history lesson. "The mighty wizards who had been crucial in creating Fichina took the role of governing the new country, with their descendants going on to form some of the nation's most important and powerful families. The Yukihimis are one such family, or were, at least, until Bellum disgraced and destroyed them…though Lily may be able to turn that around, now that she's returning to her homeland. Well, assuming she doesn't get arrested for the numerous crimes against Pokémonity she's committed at her mother's behest."

"…Oh crud. That never occurred to me," said the alarmed Ash.

"Don't worry, Ash. I'm sure Fantina will do her best to protect Lily, as will you and the rest of your friends. And if worse comes to worse, I will vouch for her. My word should be good for something, don't you think?" Lugia asked reassuringly.

"One would hope," Ash agreed. "So is Fantina's family…um, what was it again? The Fantasmas? Yeah, were they also one of the founding families?"

Lugia shook his head. "No, they came later, although they have gained a considerable amount of power and status due to Bellum all but destroying the Yukihimis."

"And I'm guessing the Goldorringtons came even later than that," Ash guessed, recalling how jealous Goldor and Silvia seemed to be of the Duchess.

"You would be correct to think as much," Lugia said.

"And what happened to the kid that started all this? The one who was supposed to be a living superweapon?" Ash asked.

"As the strongest mage, as well as the wisest—since it was her will that had helped craft Fichina, and helped to gather its peoples together to work in harmony—she was crowned the Queen," Lugia said. "She still rules Fichina to this day, and has done a fairly good job of it too, from what I've heard."

"She's still around?" Ash asked in surprise.

"Magic has a habit of prolonging life in those who wield it, and as potentially the strongest mage in the world, it's only natural that she's managed to keep living this long, though she's aged a little since her coronation," Lugia explained. "She's not immortal, just very, very, very, very, very, very, _very_ long-lived."

"I thought Fantina was the strongest," Ash said.

"Well, she sort of is, but she also isn't. It's a little more complicated than that. _Technically_ Fantina is stronger at the moment, but that's because the majority of the Queen's magic is tied into several of the necessary enchantments that allow Fichina to remain as prosperous and powerful as it is. If she were to withdraw her power from those spells, she would be _much_ stronger, but the land would suffer as a result and the ley lines might shift back to their previous alignment since her will would no longer be forcing them to converge on Fichina," Lugia said. "This has also been handy at keeping assassination attempts very low, considering nobody in Fichina really wants those extremely useful enchantments to go down, and there isn't really anyone at the moment who could successfully take her place in maintaining them due to her enormous stores of magical energy. A mage of Fantina's level could probably sustain them for a little while—like, say, a year, maybe two—but they'd be completely burned out in short order, and wouldn't be able to do much of anything else while they're working at it."

Ash's eyes widened in amazement. "And she's been doing this for almost a thousand years?"

"More like a little over nine hundred, but yes, pretty much," Lugia said.

"That's incredible!" Ash said.

Lugia nodded. "Indeed. It also helped convince quite a few groups that had intended to battle their oppressors to the bitter end to join the new land willingly, since with a protector as strong as all that, what was the point in fighting any longer? Once a significant population was built up and it seemed clear that nobody else was going to join them, or at least not at that moment, the inhabitants of Fichina transformed the area outside their home into a desert, the same desert we are traversing now."

"Why'd they do that?" Ash asked.

"As a deterrent to those who would try and harm them. It's difficult for an army to travel across a desert this large to attack a country as powerful and well-defended as Fichina," Lugia said. "Of course, quite a few tried anyway, and perished for their foolishness, as did those who tried to attack Fichina from the sea, which was similarly deadly due to their mastery of the powers of the deep. As a result, no army or invading force has ever managed to set foot beyond Fichina's outer boundaries, hence why the Nihilators were so desperate to keep us from getting here, because they knew that once inside, we would be completely untouchable."

"I see…" Ash murmured. "But if they went to all this trouble to create a place purely for magical beings and made sure almost nobody could reach it, then how come we're able to go there now?"

"This was at least nine hundred years ago, Ash," Lugia reminded him. "Times change, and so do attitudes. Eventually the stigma against magic faded away and Fichina was able to resume contact with the world beyond its borders as magic became more acceptable in mainstream society. That is how someone like Goldor could make his fortune beyond Fichina's borders, or Fantina's beauty products could sell so well to mages and non-mages alike. You'd be surprised how quickly people are willing to throw away long-held grudges and prejudices when they think there's profit to be had."

"Heh, I guess I can understand that," Ash chuckled.

"That's not to say _all_ the old hatreds and fears are gone," Lugia admitted. "The people of Fichina are long-lived, and as such have long memories. Most of those who helped establish the country and were around back in the dark times when witch-hunts were common aren't around any longer, but stories of that time are kept alive and passed down through the generations, making the current residents rather wary of trusting outsiders who have no magic. That is why it is unlikely they would allow a new town to be set up so close to their borders, since it would no doubt be populated by non-magical Pokémon, because if they _were_ magical Pokémon, why would they choose to live out here rather than in the lush paradise just a short distance away?"

Ash frowned. "I guess that makes sense. Kind of disappointing, but given their history and perspective, I suppose they would be uneasy about something like that." He grimaced, a worrying idea occurring to him. "Um, does that mean we'll have a problem getting in? Most of us aren't particularly magical."

"I'm sure there will be some who will not be happy to have you on Fichinan soil, but considering that Fantina trusts you, as well as your countless exploits and the heroics you demonstrated today and yesterday—and the fact that you're the Chosen One—I'm sure most Pokémon will accept you," Lugia said after a moment's consideration.

"That's a relief," Ash said. "And maybe while we're at it, we can convince them that they don't have to be so afraid of non-magical Pokémon, too!"

"I would not go so far as to say that," Lugia warned Ash. "To be fair, more than a few of their concerns are valid. Even if magic is more readily accepted now, it's still something that many Pokémon have difficulty grasping or understanding, like some of the abilities especially powerful Psychic-type Pokémon possess. This is especially the case with Fichina, which is a place so mysterious and so, well, _abnormal_ due to the incredible amount of magic there and the way the regular laws of physics and nature don't work the way they do everywhere else. That sort of thing can be frightening to those who are easy to scare or panic, and it doesn't take much to go from fear to a desire to take action against that which makes them nervous. The Pokémon of Fichina are aware of this and remain wary for this reason, for they know that even if there's little prejudice against their kind now, it wouldn't take much to set it off again…and mages like Bellum who go around wantonly killing people in the name of evil aren't really helping to improve their image."

Ash grimaced. "Yeah, with witches like her around, I can see why some people might get the wrong idea…well, maybe if we get them to help us defeat the Nihilators it'll better relations on both sides."

Lugia nodded in agreement. "One can only hope. There's nothing like a common threat to help unite factions that would otherwise have nothing to do with each other."

"Huh, would be weird if we actually wind up _owing_ the Nihilators for helping to create peace…" Ash murmured, both disturbed and amused by this thought.

"Funny how that kind of thing can happen, isn't it?" Lugia chuckled. "I hope this satisfies your curiosity regarding our current destination."

"I'll probably have more questions once we get there, but…there's one thing that still bothers me…" Ash said, a frown on his face.

"Oh? And what would that be?" Lugia asked.

"Well, those undead pirates I befriended said they once tried to raid Fichina a while ago and failed…but you said Fichina was created less than a thousand years ago. The pirates, on the other hand, have been around _much_ longer than that! They were around before the cataclysm!" Ash said. "What gives?"

Lugia frowned in surprise. "They're that old? And managed to survive the disaster? Who are they?"

"Er…the cursed crew of Barbedo the Pirate King?" Ash said uneasily.

Lugia's eyes boggled in astonishment. "WHAT? You've allied yourselves with the evilest pirates to ever sail the seven seas? You let _that_ group into the Temple of the Sea?"

"To be fair, they've mellowed out a lot," Ash said defensively. "They've had a long time to dwell on their mistakes, after all, what with being imprisoned on Zero Isle for so many centuries."

Lugia groaned. "Oh, Ash, what am I going to do with you?" He sighed. "In any event, the answer to your question is relatively simple. The land currently known as Fichina is not the first magical refuge to Beartic that name."

Ash blinked in surprise. "It's not?"

Lugia shook his head. "No, nor is this the first time magical beings have needed such a refuge. History has a tendency of repeating itself, you see. Many centuries ago, back when humans still existed—roughly around what your kind called the 'medieval period,' I think—anti-magic persecution became a serious problem, and some of the mages of that time came up with a similar solution to the one that the Pokémon nine hundred years ago did: to make their own country as a haven for magical creatures. They named it Fichina, and established it right about where the current Fichina is now, and it is that land that those pirate…friends of yours no doubt failed to besiege."

"…Wait, so this is the second magical country named Fichina, and it just happens to be built right where the last one was?" Ash asked incredulously. "If Pikachu were here, he'd say that was incredibly contrived. So would Leo, though he'd probably be fine with it."

"It's not really as contrived as all that," Lugia said. "The Pokémon mages knew of the stories of old Fichina, so saw no reason not to give their new land the same name, since it was being established for the same purpose. As for the location, that's not much of a coincidence either. The original Fichina was founded here because there was a pre-existing convergence of ley lines here. The planet's destruction and recreation shifted those lines about, but there was enough left over for the mages to draw upon to attract more magical force and create a new country. Plus, they probably saw it as symbolic to build their new home, a haven for magic, in the same place where their predecessors had."

"Oh. I guess that makes sense," Ash said. "Then why don't they call it New Fichina?"

Lugia shrugged. "Partly out of personal preference, and partly because almost nobody even remembers there used to be an old Fichina. It was destroyed over two thousand years before you were born."

"Why? What happened?" Ash asked in surprise.

"The magic sustaining old Fichina started to fade away. Actually, magic started fading all over the world. The reason for this is complicated and you'd need an advanced degree in theoretical thaumaturgy to understand it, so let's just say it was an unfortunate sort of natural disaster and leave it at that," Lugia said. "And without magic, there could be no Fichina. Everyone just…drifted away. Or died."

"…That's terrible," Ash said quietly. "Could…could that happen again?"

"Thankfully, no. Certain precautions have been taken to prevent such a disaster from repeating itself," Lugia said, much to Ash's relief. "The world's magic isn't going anywhere anytime soon, so Fichina will remain where it is unless something else happens to it, and that's all I'll say on that matter to avoid tempting fate."

"A very wise decision," Ash said, thinking Leo would agree. "So that's Fichina, huh? Sounds like an interesting place." He frowned in thought. "Actually…it sounds an awful lot like Twilight's Edge…"

_Hey, I had to get the idea from somewhere,_ Darkrai said in his head.

"Are you actually Darkrai now or are you still just a figment of my imagination?" Ash asked.

_I haven't decided yet,_ Darkrai said. Ash rolled his eyes in frustration.

"So, Ash, now that we have increased your knowledge of our destination, I think it is time you tell me what is bothering you," Lugia said.

"Yes, Ash. Tell him how you're hearing the voice of your not-girlfriend taunting and tormenting you. I'm sure he'll understand and won't think you're crazy and unworthy to be the Chosen One or anything as radical as that," Misty's voice hissed in his ear.

Doing his best to ignore her and his own misgivings, Ash took a deep breath and said, "I'm hearing voices. Other than yours and Briney's and Darkrai's, that is."

_Figment of your imagination!_ Darkrai corrected.

"I thought you said you hadn't decided," Ash said.

_Yes, and then I decided I was a figment of your imagination. Carry on,_ Darkrai said. Ash groaned.

Lugia frowned in concern. "Voices? What kind of voices?"

"Misty's, to be specific," Ash said. "And, uh, not the Misty I know, either."

Lugia gave Ash a perplexed look. "What do you mean?"

Ash's face turned grim. "I haven't told you what happened to Misty yet, have I?"

Lugia frowned. "No, you did-" He started and looked at the Lucario in horror. "Oh no…don't tell me they got her too!"

"They did, but she's okay," Ash reassured the sea god. "Er. Sort of. She got hurled into outer space."

_Another universe, actually. Close enough,_ Darkrai said.

"Outer space? How can she possibly be 'okay' after something like that?" Lugia cried.

_I said another universe, dammit! Is nobody listening to me?_ Darkrai grumbled.

"Why should we? You're just a figment of my imagination," Ash said.

_Ah, good point,_ Darkrai conceded._ Carry on._

"She got rescued by Deoxys and is on her way back here now," Ash continued.

Lugia sighed in relief. "That is good to hear. I can think of few hands she'd be safer in than the Savior's. And if he is coming to aid us…do you know when he will arrive?"

"Um…figment of my imagination that sounds like Darkrai?" Ash asked.

_He's a little over two-thirds of the way here, but I'm not positive if he'll show up in time for the big showdown. Depends on how quickly you get everyone off their asses to fight the Nihilators,_ Darkrai said. _Still, at least he'll get here. Eventually. And so will Misty. And then you can confess your love to her and everything like you should have done months ago, you doofus,_ Darkrai said.

"Hey!" Ash cried.

"He's right, you should have," Lugia agreed.

"Indeed. That would have made the inevitable betrayal—whether it be from her, or from you—that much more tragic," Misty crooned.

"Argh, enough already, I get the picture! I know I should have told her, okay? And when she gets back I promise I'll marry her or whatever! There, you happy?" Ash shouted in exasperation.

_Yes,_ Darkrai said.

"Yes," Lugia said.

"I'll only be happy when you're dead," Misty said. Ash didn't count her opinion, especially since she'd been outvoted two to one.

"Anyway, I'm hearing Misty's voice, but it's not the real Misty. Although it would be nice if it were the real Misty, because then I could have gotten most of my issues with her off my chest a while ago," Ash said. "The Misty I'm hearing is…like some kind of twisted nightmare version of herself." He frowned. "And speaking of which…Darkrai, what the heck was up with that nightmare I had earlier?"

_Sorry, can't say. It's one of those pesky things covered by my contract with the Shadow,_ Darkrai said.

"Contract? Darkrai, you're working with the Nihilators?" Lugia cried in disbelief.

_Not willingly. They're holding Cresselia hostage,_ Darkrai explained.

Lugia frowned. "…I see. Still, that does not excuse your doing anything to support them!"

_Oh, and you wouldn't do the same thing if it were your wife and kid in the same place?_ Darkrai asked angrily. Lugia started to reply, then bit his lip, an uncertain look on his face. _Yeah, that's what I thought._ The dark god sighed. _Look, I'll explain everything I can soon. But first, we need to deal with Ash's dilemma. Ash, I can't explain what's happening to you because it has something to do with your past, which we both know is a big no-no for me to talk about. But tell Lugia about the nightmare and maybe he can help you make sense of it, and the voice you're hearing. They're related._

Considering that he had not heard Misty's voice in the waking world before having that nightmare, Ash admitted Darkrai had a point. "Okay. Basically, it's like this…"

He proceeded to explain the dream he had had while unconscious after being abducted by Denchu the Galvantula. The more he heard, the graver the expression on the sea god's face grew. "Darkrai, what is the meaning of this? That thing Ash saw at the end of his dream can be none other than the Gaiavore, the Ruler of Evil's ultimate weapon. Is this supposed to be an omen of things to come?" Lugia asked.

_Like I told you before, I'm not allowed to say,_ Darkrai said apologetically. _I will say this, though: a good chunk of the horror in that dream was supplied by Ash's own subconscious. I didn't really have to do that much. So maybe the question you should really be asking isn't what was the Gaiavore doing in Ash's dream, but why was Ash being verbally assaulted by a zombie Misty and why does she seem to have followed him to the waking world?_

"Yes, Ash," Misty asked mockingly. "Why _are_ you still hearing me?"

"That's what I'd like to know," Ash growled.

Lugia glanced at Ash in concern. "Is she speaking to you now?"

Ash nodded. "She just was, yeah."

"Has Misty ever spoken that way to you in the past?" Lugia asked.

"No, but I should have," Misty said bitterly. "If I had, then maybe I could have avoided my fate…the fate _you_ brought down on me, Ash Ketchum!"

"No, she didn't," Ash said. "There's plenty of times where she's been…well, kind of abrasive to me in the past, but she's never sounded like she _hates_ me and wants me dead."

"And yet this one does…I wonder why?" Lugia murmured.

"Maybe it has a little something to do with you _causing my death!"_ Misty shrieked so loudly that Ash flinched and nearly jumped off of Lugia's back.

"Um, she says it's because I'm…responsible for…her death…" Ash said quietly, her ears folding back against his head as his shoulders slumped.

"…Ah. That would do it," Lugia said awkwardly. "I…knew that she died along with everyone else, but I was unaware of the circumstances of her death. Or yours, for that matter."

"So am I, actually," Ash admitted, the familiar memory of cradling Misty's blood-soaked corpse flashing through his mind. "I just know that she died, and it was my fault."

"That's right, Ash, it was. I should have left you to drown that first day we met. Not only would I have still had my bike, but my entire life wouldn't have been derailed to revolve around your own, and I wouldn't have died the way I did. I didn't deserve that, Ash! I had dreams of my own! But because of your _stupid_ obsession with being a Pokémon Master, I had to put my own plans on hold, and so I died unfulfilled and heartbroken! You ruined everything! You _ALWAYS_ ruin everything!" she howled.

"Hmm…I think I am beginning to get an idea of what's wrong," Lugia murmured as he observed Ash for a moment. "Ash, if I may, I would like to perform a Psychic scan of your mind. I believe it may shed some light on this mystery."

"Or show him just how _completely fucked up _you are," Misty laughed humorlessly.

"Sure. Go ahead. My mind is an open book to you," Ash said, lowering all of his mental barriers for Lugia. The sea god could probably have just passed right through them without asking, but the fact that he had requested permission instead reinforced his trustworthiness and decency in Ash's eyes.

"Thank you, Ash. This should only take a moment," Lugia said, his eyes glowing. Ash immediately felt Lugia's presence inside his mind, but it wasn't intrusive or painful, like it was when enemy Psychics tried to gain access to his psyche. Lugia was incredibly gentle and conscientious; his mind enveloping Ash's as if the Lucario's brain were being eased into a warm sauna to relieve some of the pent-up stress and anxieties that had been building up over the course of the last few weeks. Ash wondered briefly if there would be a massage afterwards, and then wondered if it was actually a good thing to give a brain a massage. Wouldn't that cause it to splatter everywhere?

After a moment, Lugia's eyes dimmed, though a serious expression remained on his face. "Hmm…it is as I thought."

"What? What is it?" Ash asked.

"Yes, Lugia, what's the prognosis? Just how insane is our dear Ash?" Misty asked with faux concern.

"The voice you are hearing is a manifestation of your guilt," Lugia explained.

Ash blinked. "Huh? Really?"

"What, that's it? He's just feeling a little guilty?" Misty asked incredulously.

"I'm picking up tremendous amount of activity in the part of your brain responsible for feelings of guilt, with alarming energy spikes whenever you hear the voice of 'Misty,'" Lugia explained. "I believe the voice you're hearing is actually a construct formed by your subconscious in response to a deep-seated feeling of guilt that's being nourished by and is in return _feeding_ the negative Aura growing inside of you to the point that it is almost taking on a life of its own."

"…I'm not sure I follow," Ash said in confusion.

"Of course you don't. Arceus, you are such an _idiot._ What did I _ever_ see in you?" Misty snarled.

"You are feeling guilty for something in your past. _Extremely_ guilty. It is something that gnaws at you constantly, even when you are not thinking about it, even if you aren't completely sure what it is you're guilty of _doing_," Lugia explained. "As you know by now, Aura is strongly affected by emotions. Positive emotions turn it towards the light, while negative turns it to Shadow. As a result, this guilt is strongly connected to the darkness inside of you. The guiltier you feel, the more the darkness grows. And it's not just a one-way street…the negative Aura is causing that guilt to manifest as the voice of a spiteful, bitter Misty, harping on you for your faults and reminding you constantly of the thing you feel guilty of. And I think we both know what that is, don't we, Ash?"

Ash's eyes widened in realization. "…Misty's death…"

"That's right, Ash. It took you long enough to figure out. Then again, you always have been so. DAMN. _STUPID!_ It's really not that much of a surprise, is it now?" Misty asked.

"This…this voice I'm hearing…it's the darkness trying to make me feel worse about Misty's death, and myself?" Ash whispered.

Lugia nodded. "That is what I believe, yes."

"But…but I don't even know how Misty died! I forgot, just like I forgot almost everything of my past!" Ash protested.

"But a part of you remembers, otherwise you wouldn't feel guilty about it, would you?" Lugia pointed out. "The memory was buried deep within your heart, and with it, your darkness…but you are starting to remember now. And because of that, the darkness is reawakening once more."

"And that's how I came to be," Misty said. "I rather wish I hadn't, though. I mean, seriously, I do _not_ want to spend the rest of my existence as a figment of your imagination."

_Neither do I,_ said Darkrai.

"Then…then that means…if I remember everything…I'll go full Void?" Ash cried in horror.

"…That is a distinct possibility…" Lugia admitted uneasily.

"But-but I can't keep from remembering! Every time we find a new Star Badge, more of my memory returns!" Ash protested. He started, a thought occurring to him. "No, wait…that only happens when a Star Badge reacts to the map…but thanks to Dean and Bob, we know where the Nihilator stronghold is, and the remaining Badges have to be there, which means we don't need the map to find them!"

"And what if they are not there, but have been moved to another facility, and we don't find that out until after we get there?" Lugia pointed out. "In which case we would have no choice but to rely on the map to find them. We would be merely putting off the inevitable."

"…Oh yeah. That's a good point…" Ash murmured, heart sinking. "But…but then what am I supposed to do? I've tried avoiding the map when it's time to use the badges on it, it didn't help!"

"I think avoiding it may actually be part of the problem," Lugia said.

Ash blinked. "Huh? What do you mean?"

"This I want to hear," Misty muttered. "Don't screw it up, Ash."

"You are dreading learning the truth about how Misty died, and why you feel so responsible for it," Lugia said. "But that fear is what the darkness wants. Your doubt and fear are making it stronger. By running from the memory and subconsciously trying to keep it buried, you're just giving it that much more power over you. If…if you were to stop running…if you were to confront the truth about your past…then perhaps you will be able to accept it. Whatever horror you think awaits you, it will always look worse in the darkness. Even if it's still hideous when brought into the light, at least you'll be able to _see_ it and recognize it for what it is, without constantly worrying about just what it might be. Do you understand what I am saying?"

Ash frowned as he mulled this over. "I…think so…"

"I highly doubt that," Misty said snidely.

"Do you really think this will help?" Ash asked skeptically. "I mean, if keeping the memory sealed was what kept my darkness at bay, how will releasing it make things better?"

"Because it is a source of a large portion of the darkness," Lugia replied. "And so by resolving the issues tied to it, you may be able to purge yourself of the darkness, or at least a great deal of it."

"That…makes sense…" Ash said slowly.

"The longer you leave a thorn in your skin, the worse the wound gets, until you gain an infection that may prove fatal," Lugia said. "Removing it may hurt—sometimes a lot—but it is necessary for the healing to begin. And you must deal with whatever happened in your past if you are ever to move on."

Ash nodded slowly. "Okay…I…yeah, I think I get it…but…what if you're wrong? What if it just makes things worse, and I go Void?"

"When the time comes for you to relive this memory, I will be there," Lugia promised. "As will your friends, if you will allow them. We will do our best to help you accept whatever tragedy you are concealing from yourself and move on."

"And if it doesn't work, you'll be there to kill me, right?" Ash asked grimly.

"…If it comes to that, yes," Lugia admitted reluctantly. "But…I do not believe it will come to that."

Misty laughed humorlessly. "Oh, we'll see about that. You have no idea what you're getting yourself into, Ash. This isn't a thorn, it's a scab, and the more you pick at it, the worse it gets. And trust me when I say that you will _not_ like what happens when you pull this scab off your psyche. _Nobody_ will." He heard a soft, cruel chuckle. "Well…except maybe me…"

Ash sighed wearily. "There's no getting around this, is there? It'll probably happen sooner or later, no matter how I feel about it."

"I am afraid so. And the longer you put it off, the worse it will get," Lugia said sympathetically.

Ash closed his eyes in resignation and nodded. "Then…if you really think this is the best course to take…all right, I'll do it."

"Will you? We'll see about that," Misty whispered. "You may talk tough now, but when the time comes for you to actually do it…somehow I doubt you'll be quite so willing."

"Thank you, Ash," Lugia said, looking relieved. "I promise, we will all do our best to help you through this. Remember, we are your friends. You can depend on us."

Ash smiled weakly. "Yeah…I know…"

"And speaking of your friends…you need to let them all know about this. Not just the voice of your guilt, but all the other pressures and stresses and anxieties that you are feeling. Keeping it locked up inside will only make the darkness stronger. If you share your doubts with others, there will be that much less for the darkness to feed on," Lugia said.

Ash grimaced. "I…didn't want to worry them…"

"A foolish decision. You are the Chosen One, and you have a tremendous burden to Beartic…perhaps too tremendous for any one person to carry," Lugia said sadly. "That is why you have friends to stand by your side, to support you in your time of need."

Ash blinked. "But…if I'm the Chosen One, doesn't it mean it's all on me anyway?"

"Don't you remember our battle against the birds just a short while ago? Things went much more smoothly with everyone else joining in," Lugia reminded Ash. "You are the Chosen One, but that does not mean you have to do everything by yourself. Nor should you, for a building held up by just one pillar is always in danger of collapse…whereas a building held up by many pillars, even if they are smaller than the central one, has a much better chance of staying up in case the main pillar falters."

"Yes, but how much longer until they get crushed beneath its weight?" Misty mused. "If you are the central support, and you are unable to Beartic the stress, how much longer do you really think they can last past your own breaking point?"

Ash did his best to ignore the nagging doubts Misty's words were stirring in him. "I'll…I'll try. I'll tell them. And…" He scowled. "While I'm at it, I'll tell Briney and Leo to stop so cheerfully reminding me I'm practically a ticking time bomb of Shadow, because them constantly bringing it up is _not_ helping me keep control in the slightest."

Lugia chuckled in bemusement. "That sounds like a very good idea, Ash. And if they do not listen, I will tell them off for you. I intend to stick around for quite a while, after all, so they'll have no choice but to heed my words."

"Well, Leo will. Maybe. Briney won't," Ash said.

Lugia narrowed his eyes. "Oh, we'll see about that…"

Ash smirked…and then a thought occurred to him. "Say, if you're going to be working with us, then…does that mean you're going to become a part of Team Aurabolt?"

Lugia considered this. "…If I were, would I have to wear a badge and one of those neck-scarves?"

"You kinda have to. It's regulation," Ash said.

"Hmm. I will think on it," Lugia said, although he couldn't hide a smile at the thought of him being a member of a Rescue Team. As if Team Aurabolt weren't unorthodox enough already!

"…So, anyway, if I confront this memory, you think it'll…like, cure me?" Ash asked hopefully.

"Cure you? No," Lugia said, much to Ash's disappointment. "It will remove a significant source of Shadow Aura…but it is not the _only_ source. There is at least one other thing fueling it."

"…My hatred for Oblivion's Shadow," Ash said, narrowing his eyes.

"That, I imagine, will be a bit more difficult for you to let go of," Lugia said.

"Yeah, especially since I have so many good reasons to despise the guy…and because I think that he might have been somehow involved in Misty's death, too. Why not? He's responsible for everything else that went wrong in my life back then…" Ash growled darkly, clenching his fists.

"Oh, you have _no_ idea," Misty said. "But you will soon enough. Then again, maybe not. It depends on whether or not you're _really_ mon enough to face up to the truth. Me, I _know_ you're not, but go ahead, delude yourself into thinking you can handle it just a little longer. That will make the inevitable tragedy just that much sweeter."

"While you have every reason to hate the Shadow—and in and of itself, that's not necessarily a bad thing—you are embracing your hatred to an alarming level," Lugia cautioned Ash. "You need to let go and clear your mind. And we need to find the root of your loathing for him, though I think you may already have an idea. If we can deal with that, while you may still hate him, it hopefully will not be enough to risk triggering a transformation into a Void Pokémon."

Ash grimaced. "I'll try…and if I do _that_, will I be cured?"

Lugia shook his head. "No, but you'll be very close. With the main factors feeding it gone, the darkness will be easier for you to deal with…and in so doing, you may be able to achieve the status of Shining Pokémon, and rid yourself of Shadow forever."

_Yeah, that's pretty much it. I seem to remember telling you as much back when we met on Briney's ship. What, did you forget all that already?_ Darkrai complained. _Way to make a guy feel unappreciated._

Ash nodded slowly. "It sounds pretty tough…but if this is really the best way to save myself…and my friends…then I guess I'll have to do it." A thought occurred to him. "Hey, would the Life Equation help, do you think?"

"The mathematical formula proving the worth of life?" Lugia asked in surprise. "I should think so. Unfortunately, I do not know it."

"You don't?" Ash asked in surprise.

"If I did, would I have been turned into a Shadow Pokémon?" Lugia asked.

Ash made a face. "Good point."

"Knowing the Equation would probably purify you…unfortunately, from what I have heard, simply being _told_ it is not enough. You need to _understand_ it, to discover its meaning for yourself," Lugia said. "In fact, it may even have a different meaning for every person. After all, no two lives are exactly the same."

Ash sighed. "I guess that makes sense…" He pulled out _Secrets of an Aura Master_ and flipped through it to a familiar page. "My book has the Life Equation in it…but it won't appear to me. It showed up to save Dawn and the rest of us from the Anti-Life Oblivion's Shadow put in her, but since then, the page has been blank."

"Oblivion's Shadow knows the Anti-Life Equation?" Lugia asked, startled. "Hmm…that would explain a great deal of his strength, and why the power of Shadow is so strong in him, though not why he has not used it to dominate the world…if that is the case, I believe discovering the Life Equation will help you to not only save yourself, but to defeat him."

"And you have no ideas on how to go about finding it?" Ash asked.

"Only that you need to look within yourself. I'm aware that's not the most helpful answer, but considering I never learned it either, I'm afraid it's the best you'll get," Lugia said apologetically.

"If that's the case, you'll never find it, especially considering how terrible your sense of direction is," Misty sneered. "Seriously, _how_ long did we spend wandering around completely lost back in the day?"

Ash nodded unhappily. "Well, thanks anyway." He put his book away.

"Is there anything else I can help you with?" Lugia asked.

"Regarding my…problem, no. However, there is something else you can tell me," Ash said. He narrowed his eyes. "I think it's time I got a straight answer on what exactly this whole 'Chosen One' business is."

Lugia regarded him for a moment. "Hmm…yes, I believe you are ready to know the truth. Very well, I shall tell you all I know…but Beartic in mind that I do not know everything about your destiny, even though mine is a part of it. While you may regard and revere me as a being of great power and wisdom, as far as deities go I'm actually pretty low on the celestial hierarchy. The full details of your mission and reason for being were decided by beings far mightier than I, and most of what they know they kept to themselves for whatever reason."

_It was for security reasons,_ Darkrai said. _The fewer people who knew all the facts, the less of a chance there was of someone less than happy with Arceus and the Guardians finding out and trying to subvert your fate and ruin Arceus' carefully-laid plans. I'm not allowed to tell you much more than that, though, and not by the Shadow, either. Just like Lugia, I have guys I've gotta answer to as well, and I'll be in _enough_ trouble with them already due to my letting the Nihilators have their way and not reporting in just how powerful and dangerous they've become._

"The fact that you are finding ways to help us in spite of this speaks well for you," Lugia said. "As a family mon myself, I suppose I understand your reasons for doing what you did. When the reckoning comes, I will do my best to support you. I may not be as high in the ranks as you, but I'm fairly sure my word still carries some weight in the upper reaches of the Celestial Heavens."

_Heh. Thanks, pal. I appreciate it,_ Darkrai said gratefully.

"Hmm…it's a little disappointing that you don't know that much, but still, whatever you know is probably more than what I do. Let's hear it," Ash said.

Lugia nodded. "All right. It's like this: after the Crisis Wars, the Ruler of Evil and Giratina and all the other legions of evil were sealed away in the Abyss. However, Arceus knew there was a strong chance that the Ruler of Evil might one day return—since that sort of thing seems to be inevitable—so set a plan into motion to prepare for this possibility. That plan, Ash, resulted in your creation."

Ash blinked. "Me?"

"Yes. Arceus created a soul that he believed would one day become a hero who would play a pivotal role in the ultimate defeat of the Ruler of Evil should that fiend ever return from the Abyss," Lugia said. "What that role is, precisely, I don't quite know, but I know it's important. Arceus not only prophesized this, He also foresaw that you and I would ride into battle together against both the Ruler of Evil and a number of lesser enemies, binding our fates together. Why He chose me rather than another god, I do not know, just that I was assigned to watch over you. And that is precisely what I did, as part of my many duties: I protected and cared for your spirit as it was incubated in stasis for millions of years, awaiting the day when you would be born."

Ash frowned, not entirely sure what to make of this revelation. It was almost too much to comprehend. So he didn't bother trying to and pressed for more answers. "Millions of years? Why did it take so long?"

"Because the Ruler of Evil was still safely imprisoned. If you were created to help in defeating it, what point would there be in giving you life before the prophesized time came?" Lugia reasoned. Ash frowned, not entirely pleased with this answer.

"Well, I'm here now…except wasn't I still born too soon? I mean, it's been over a thousand years since then, and only _now_ does it look like the Ruler might be coming back!" Ash pointed out.

"In the years before you were born, we began to see signs in the weave of space-time that indicated that the Ruler of Evil might be returning relatively soon," Lugia explained. "So it was decided that the time for your birth had at last come at hand, and so your spirit was sent to this world so that you might live. I, along with a number of other deities, had been stationed here as guardian gods for millennia, ever since the Door to the Abyss fell out of the rift Palkia and Dialga threw it into after the war and crashed here, so were ready for your arrival. There is a reason that you ran into so many legendary Pokémon in the days of your childhood, Ash. We were watching you from afar, subtly manipulating events to create trials that would help to shape you into a true hero."

Ash's eyes widened. "Created trials? Then…wait. _Wait._ Are you telling me that all the adventures and stuff I ran into, all the times I had to save the world, were…were just _tests_ set up in advance?"

"In a way, yes, but not like you're thinking," Lugia said quickly. "We didn't fake getting captured or getting into fights or nearly destroying the world just to create crises for you to solve. All of those were very real threats, and hardly the most effective way to measure your fitness to be the hero of legend. After all, _anyone_ can save the world if they're in the right place at the right time. No, I'm referring to tests of the emotion and spirit. Tests of _character_, rather than simply strength. Tests to determine if you have a hero's heart. Did you never think it strange how you couldn't go a single day without making a new friend or running into a person or Pokémon who needed your help with something, either trivial or serious or related to their dreams?"

"…No. No, I didn't. Not until now…" Ash said slowly.

"And before you ask, no, we did not set those up either. Well, except for the ones where we were personally involved. There will always be someone in the world in need of assistance or just looking for a friend, and we took advantage of this by subtly directing you towards where you would be most needed at a given point of time," Lugia said.

Ash gasped. "Wait…then are you saying…all those times we got lost, it _wasn't_ my fault?"

"Oh no, it was, we always took your poor sense of direction into account when trying to locate the next Friend of the Day for you to meet," Lugia said.

"Oh," Ash said sullenly. He frowned. "So…what you're saying is that all those people and Pokémon I met on the journey, everyone I helped and befriended, I only did so because you _made_ me?"

"Not at all," Lugia said. "All we did is point you in their direction and let you do the rest. At almost any point you could have walked away from whatever minor dilemma your newest acquaintance was trying to deal with and continue going on your way. There are those who would say that you _should_ have, actually, because helping all those people even though most of the time you got nothing out of it in return was only putting your own plans on hold and making your adventure drag on that much longer. But you never did, Ash. Why is that?"

"…Because…because it would be the wrong thing to do," Ash said.

"_Precisely,_" Lugia said proudly. "Our goal was never to create problems, Ash—even though we did occasionally, now and then, it usually wasn't on purpose—it was to train you to become a hero. To become a person whose heart was strong enough to stand up against the greatest evil that had ever lived. Aiding every person you came across was one of the best ways we could think of to do that; to temper your sense of compassion and desire to help those in need, to make you care so much for the world and everyone in it that you would never give up or allow evil to win so long as there was still breath in your body. And I think, for the most part, we succeeded…wouldn't you agree?"

"I wouldn't," Misty said as the stunned Ash tried to process all this.

"Team Rocket was especially useful to us," Lugia continued, snapping Ash out of his reverie.

"Wait, what? Team Rocket? What did they have to do with anything?" Ash asked incredulously.

Lugia raised an eyebrow. "Did you never find it odd that they were able to survive being electrocuted, exploded, and flung great distances day in and day out without suffering permanent damage? Did you never wonder why they would continue to obsessively Houndour you all to capture a Pokémon of a popular but relatively common species when they could have just wandered around a forest for a few minutes and caught one the regular way and done it with far less pain and suffering than they would have if they were to continue chasing you?"

Ash's jaw dropped. "…They were _working_ for you?"

Lugia burst into laughter. "What, those three imbeciles? No, no, of course not! Well, not _knowingly,_ anyway. It was relatively simple to insert a thought into their rather empty heads that your Pikachu was special, and that if they captured it, their lives would be perfect and they would get everything they'd ever wanted."

"…I-I thought Pikachu _was_ special," Ash said weakly.

"Oh, he was, but only because of you," Lugia said.

Ash blinked. "Because of me? What are you talking about?"

"Did you never think it odd how so many of your Pokémon could become so powerful that they were able to take on opponents far older and more experienced than them and win, in many cases without having reached their final stages of evolution?" Lugia asked. "It was part of your power as the Chosen One…the ability to infuse your Aura into those around you without even knowing it, enhancing all their best qualities and strengths and allowing them to reach heights they might never have climbed were it not for you being their friend."

"…That…that's why I won so many battles?" the shocked Ash asked. "Not because of strategy or good training or any of that?"

Lugia shook his head. "Oh no, you won because of that too, but your Chosen One power helped a bit. It's also how you managed to win some of your, ah, shall we say, more _contrived_ victories."

"What are you talking about?" Ash asked defensively.

"Mossdeep Gym. Liza and Tate. Lightning armor," Lugia said flatly, causing Ash to wince.

"Okay, I see your point," Ash said. He frowned. "Wait, then why didn't I win _all_ my battles?"

"I never said that was one of your powers, just that it enhanced you and your Pokémon's strengths. You're thinking of Victini's ability to make whichever side she chooses the victor. There was nothing stopping you from losing if you didn't plan accordingly, which is why you often had to do a Gym Battle more than once and never managed to win a Pokémon League tournament," Lugia said.

Ash frowned. "Kinda weird how that always happened…and sometimes it was kind of ridiculous how I'd get beaten. Like in Sinnoh, where I lost to a guy with a Darkrai and Latios-" He stiffened. "Waaaaiiit. Was that _you guys _too?"

"No, of course not!" Lugia protested.

_Well, that was me. As in, I was there,_ Darkrai said.

"I mean, were you trying to make me lose on purpose?" Ash demanded.

"No!" Lugia insisted. "We never influenced your wins or defeats in Pokémon battles, and _especially_ not at the League. That was all you, Ash."

"Then why was Darkrai even in the Sinnoh Conference?" Ash demanded.

_For the fun of it, _Darkrai said.

"…What, really?" Ash asked.

_Yeah. It had nothing to do with you, I was just there to have a good time and the fact that I'd run into you and see how your skills had grown was just a side benefit. To be honest, I was genuinely impressed that you and your Pokémon managed to beat me. You didn't win the tournament, yeah, but you beat me and my buddy, which is nothing to sneeze at either,_ Darkrai said.

"Oh. Well…okay then," Ash said. He frowned in thought. "Wait. If this was some Aura power I was using all along, does that mean I was _cheating_ all along_?_"

Misty groaned in exasperation. "And of course _that's_ the part you're hung up on…"

"Not really," Lugia said. "Psychic trainers sometimes communicate telepathically with their Pokémon during battle, and that's allowed. Similar provisions were made in League rules for Aura-users, just so long as they didn't use their abilities to give their Pokémon _too_ much of an advantage."

"Oh. All right then," Ash said in relief. He frowned again. "So…does that mean that's why my current team is all so strong, too?"

"You give them too little credit. Each of them is a formidable fighter in their own right. Well…except for Leo," Lugia said. "Being friends with you has just made them a bit…more so. It's related to your friendship with them, and not affected by distance, so you needn't worry about them becoming weaker just because you aren't nearby."

"Okay…" Ash murmured, uncertain what to think of this. He also wasn't sure if he should mention this to the others or not. He didn't know how they'd take it. He wondered if this explained, at least in part, how they had all managed to survive the last two massive battles or prevail against the Nihilators for so long. "Are there any other special Chosen One powers I should be aware of?"

"Other than your above-average aptitude for Aura and your ability to attract friends to your side—which I already mentioned—not off the top of my head," Lugia said.

Ash frowned. "And how is all that supposed to be enough to help me against the Ruler of Evil?"

"Easy, it's _not,_" Misty rasped.

"Your ability make friends easily means you are never short of allies, for one thing, which is a necessity against the Ruler of Evil's vast horde of demons," Lugia said. "Your Aura powers will also be highly effective against it if you can rid yourself of the Shadow taint, since the Ruler is vulnerable to positive emotions. Love was what defeated it the last time, after all."

"Hmm…okay, that makes sense, but it still doesn't seem like enough to defeat the first evil," Ash said.

"That's because it's _not._ Didn't you hear me the first time?" Misty snarled. "No, wait, of course you didn't; you're _Ash_, you _never_ listen."

"I never said you were going to be the one to personally defeat the Ruler of Evil," Lugia said.

Ash blinked. "Huh? But I thought-"

"It was foretold that you would be crucial to the Ruler's final defeat. Nowhere was it said that you would actually be the one to single-handedly _cause_ that defeat," Lugia explained.

Ash frowned. "You don't think I can do it?"

"Ash, I was present at the final battle. I _saw_ how powerful the Ruler of Evil was, and how difficult it was to beat it even after our ultimate weapon had weakened it enough for us to capture and seal it away," Lugia said. "Even if you manage to achieve Shining Pokémon status, I am uncertain you will be able to defeat the Ruler. At least, not by yourself." Ash frowned at this. "However, if there is anyone who could find a way to stop the Ruler anyway…I honestly believe it would be you, Ash."

Ash perked up at this. "Yeah?"

"Certainly. I have seen the sorts of things you can do. Miracles seem to come easily to you…hmm, perhaps that's another Chosen One ability, that luck tends to run in your favor," Lugia mused.

"Didn't work that way in my Gym or League battles," Ash grumbled.

"None of those were battles that actually meant anything, Ash," Lugia said patiently.

"They meant something to me!" Ash replied indignantly.

"Moron," Misty snarled.

"Anyway…where were we before we got to talking about your powers?" Lugia asked.

"Team Rocket?" Ash prompted. "You were saying that you suggested that they follow me forever? Thanks a _ton_ for that, by the way."

"Would you have rather they gone off and bothered some other trainers and possibly succeeded in stealing Pokémon because you or some other sufficiently powerful trainer weren't there to stop them?" Lugia asked pointedly.

"…Point," Ash admitted grudgingly. "But why did you do that, anyway?"

"More of your training to be a hero. While the trials you went through on an everyday basis helped you to become a more compassionate person, you still needed experience fighting evil in preparation for your eventual role as the Chosen One," Lugia explained.

Ash raised an eyebrow. "I fought plenty of evil. And I think calling those three 'evil' is a bit of a stretch."

Lugia sighed. "True, but their resilience and persistence—with a little help from us, not that they ever realized it-made them, if not always credible threats, still _a_ threat, and an opponent you could constantly match yourself against to hone your sense of justice and good and evil. That, and they also gave you valuable combat practice, because even if we wanted you to be a hero with a big heart, you still needed to be one that was good at fighting."

"And I couldn't have gotten that from just training my Pokémon the regular way or sparring with my friends?" Ash asked.

Lugia shook his head. "No, precisely because they _were _your friends. They cared about you, and so would be more willing to fight fairly and cleanly, and withdraw if it looked like you or your Pokémon were in bad shape. Team Rocket had no such sense of decency, and being pitted into constant battles with believers in unfair play like themselves would give you much-needed experience in knowing how to fight against more serious and dangerous villains who would also not hesitate to take advantage of any signs of weakness you showed them in battle, without having stakes or consequences nearly as high as if you were fighting those sorts of villains regularly. That way, when you _did_ encounter such true villains, which you inevitably did, you were able to handle them."

"But losing to Team Rocket would have meant losing Pikachu and possibly lots of other Pokémon," Ash said with a frown. "That's pretty high-stakes to me."

"Not nearly as high-stakes as the world, or the lives of millions of innocent people," Lugia pointed out.

"…I guess so…" Ash said reluctantly.

"And besides, this is Team Rocket we're talking about. They weren't exactly competent enough to _really_ win even if it looked like they had the upper hand for a while," Lugia said. "Whenever it looked as if there was a serious chance that they might win we'd always do something to tip the odds back in your favor so you could get back Pikachu and whomever else they'd taken. It tells a lot that we almost never, _ever_ had to do this."

Ash snickered. "Yeah, it does, doesn't it?" He frowned. "Then why'd they suddenly become more dangerous when I got to Unova? Did you do that, too?"

"No, the leader of Team Rocket got fed up with their incompetence and had his scientist Dr. Zager use experimental intelligence-enhancing drugs on them," Lugia said.

"Ah. That explains a lot," Ash said.

"It certainly does. We considered doing something about that, but decided you'd become strong enough by now that we didn't need to baby you so much anymore in regards to them and trusted that you could handle them on your own. Which you did, rather admirably," Lugia said proudly.

"Thanks?" Ash said uncertainly. He still wasn't sure how to feel about the apparent knowledge that his journey had had so much going on behind the scenes. Part of him was scared and confused and hurt, another part was intrigued and impressed and awed, another was sort of apathetic, and still another was hungry. He hadn't eaten as much lunch as he would have liked.

"Are you all right?" Lugia asked, noticing the conflicted look on Ash's face. "You look uncertain. I suppose all this must be rather a shock. You probably feel like you've been manipulated."

"That's exactly what you are, Ash. Just a puppet dancing on his strings. But soon the strings won't be there anymore. And what will you do? Will you just lie there like a corpse? Or kill the puppeteer and everyone else who's been using you?" Misty cooed.

"I'm…not sure how to feel," Ash confessed. "I can't say I'm not kind of alarmed that so much of my adventures, and, well, my _life_ was basically planned in advance, but…on the other hand, it _did_ help a lot of people, and also made me the kind of person I am now, and…well…it's my destiny to be this great hero, right? It's what Arceus created me to be. So…I guess destiny has to be carried out some way or another, and I suppose that's what happened here."

Misty snarled in disgust. "You are such a spineless wimp! Always dancing to the tune of whoever's playing the music, whether it's your friends or some creep you just met or the gods who regard you as no more than a game piece. The music's going to stop soon, Ash. What will you do when it does?"

Lugia sighed in relief. "Yes, Ash, that's a very good way of putting it, and a fairly accurate understanding of how destiny works most of the time. I was worried you might take this a little…badly."

Ash shrugged. "I probably will if I think about it for too long, so I'll try not to."

"Ha! That's true, not thinking _is_ something you're good at," Misty sneered.

"Like I said before, it's not like we plotted your entire life in advance or picked all of your friends and family and traveling companions ahead of time to train and groom you to be our toy soldier or anything like that. We wanted you to be a hero, but not an automaton who only served our will. We mainly just took things as they came day-by-day and let you do as you wished, watching as you matured into the Chosen One," Lugia said. "Which is why you grew up with a relatively normal childhood rather than being raised by Aura Guardians in some temple far from civilization like some of the others suggested."

"Thanks," Ash said. His face fell. "But…maybe you should have done that, instead. Then, when Lord Null started causing trouble…I would have been ready." He clenched his teeth. "In fact…if I had gone with Riley when he told me the Aura Guardians needed me… maybe none of this would have happened."

Lugia shrugged. "You might be right. If you had gone with Riley and unlocked your Aura powers, you might have become strong enough to defeat Null. On the other hand, it's just as likely that he would have killed you anyway. You've witnessed his power, Ash. You _know_ how strong he is. I can say without a doubt he is one of the most powerful beings I have ever encountered, and I have not seen his like since the Crisis Wars."

Ash grimaced. "Yeah, that's making me _really_ look forward to my next fight with him."

"Don't worry, Ash. I believe you have become strong enough now to face him…or at least, you will be soon enough," Lugia said.

"Thanks," Ash said.

"He lies. You will be ripped to pieces. I can't wait," Misty whispered.

"Still, I can't help but feel like I failed back then. You said I'm supposed to be this great world-saving hero…but I failed when I was needed the most, and everyone died because of it," Ash said miserably. "Especially Misty…"

"That's right, don't forget about me. Don't you _ever_ forget about me, Ash," Misty snarled.

"You did not fail as badly as all that, Ash. Yes, the world was destroyed…but it got put back together, and we're all here now, aren't we?" Lugia said, trying to make him look on the bright side.

"I guess…" Ash said uncertainly. He frowned. "That still doesn't explain why you guys had me born then if there wasn't a serious effort to revive the Ruler of Evil until _now_, though, especially if I'm supposed to be responsible for helping to beat it once and for all."

"That is because the Ruler of Evil may have had a hand in Lord Null's destruction of Earth," Lugia said.

Ash started. "What?"

"There is no mistaking it. All the signs point to it…the same signs which led us to believe that was your time to be born," Lugia said.

"But…but how? The Ruler of Evil wasn't unleashed back then," Ash said in confusion.

"No, but its minions were still about, just as they are now, working to free it," Lugia pointed out. "If Null was working to free the Ruler then like he is now, it may explain some of his motivations a little. After all, if he blew up the planet, it would be much easier to find the Star Badges in the debris and use them to open the Door, since they would be some of the few things to survive the world's end. In addition, the Earth's destruction would provide an incredible amount of negative energy, which could be used to help bring the Ruler back to full strength or close to it in no time, which I believe is part of why the Nihilators are so…well…eager to inflict pain on others or each other."

"Oh. Yeah, that does make…" He frowned, remembering his interactions with Lord Null. "No, actually, it doesn't make sense at all, considering how the guy behaved when he was around me! He kept apologizing for some reason and kept promising that he'd fix the planet up after he'd finished destroying it. If he was trying to release the Ruler of Evil, why would he bother doing something like that?"

Lugia frowned. "He said that? Really? Hmm…that's a good question. Many who are followers of the Ruler of Evil do it because they believe the Ruler will make a better supreme being than Arceus. Maybe he believed that destroying the Earth would be necessary to free the Ruler, but felt bad about it so intended to somehow use the Ruler's power to fix everything afterwards?"

"I guess…but…that still doesn't feel right…" Ash murmured.

Lugia frowned. "Another thing to ask him about, then…I know it does not make much sense, but I am positive the Ruler of Evil was somehow involved in Lord Null's campaign of destruction."

"And if that's true, then that means I _did_ fail my destiny by not stopping him," Ash said morosely.

"No, Ash, that was clearly not the time foreseen by Arceus. Otherwise, the Ruler of Evil would have indeed broken free and we would not have been able to stop it because you were dead," Lugia said. "Instead, Deoxys stopped Null from doing…whatever he was doing and repaired the world. Although…I guess that means we might have jumped the Water Gun by having you born too early after all…"

"Well, if you did make a mistake, I…don't mind that much," Ash admitted. "Otherwise I wouldn't have made so many great friends and had all those cool adventures. Plus, someone else would have had to save the world all those times, and might not have done as good a job of it as me because they weren't the Chosen One."

"That's true," Lugia admitted. "And besides, you're here now, when it looks like the Ruler of Evil is going to awaken…so perhaps it was for the best after all. Destiny's funny that way, sometimes things happen that even we gods don't anticipate that still work out fairly well in the long run."

"Maybe," Ash said.

"Yes, if you count widespread genocide and planetary devastation and everything bad that's happened since then as 'for the best' and 'funny' and 'working out fairly well in the long run,'" Misty said angrily.

Ash winced, knowing Misty had a point. "Um, so, now that I'm back, have you guys been continuing doing the sort of thing that you did before for me?"

Lugia shook his head. "No, Ash. The world's end and your disappearance disrupted all our plans. When you reappeared without warning, we were…well, not quite in our right minds, as you might recall, thanks to that falling star Oblivion's Shadow threw at the planet, so were in no condition to have anything ready for your return. After you snapped us out of it and the star was destroyed, we decided that by that point, you'd finished, or nearly finished, growing into the hero you needed to be, and decided that you could handle everything else on your own. We would still watch you, of course, but it's not like we ever needed to guide you to adventure, given you were now part of a Rescue Team and Kanjohenn was not exactly in its most peaceful state."

Ash made a face at this. "Yeah…maybe when this is all over, we can finally do something about that."

"I'm sure you'll find a way to restore order to the continent someday," Lugia said. "Anyway, our plans were disrupted again a few months ago when the Nihilators captured us. We had seen the signs indicating the Ruler of Evil's potential return was finally at hand and thought we were ready for an attack from its followers, but we did not expect that we would be betrayed by some of our own. We were completely unprepared…" He shook his head in grief and guilt.

_Sorry. I would have warned you guys, I really wanted to,_ Darkrai apologized sadly. _But…you know, my hands were tied. Nothing I could do._

"Don't worry. We'll get back the others—including your family—and make all the traitors pay. We've already taken care of Manaphy and the birds, all that's left is the legendary beasts," Ash said.

Lugia frowned at that. "I find it odd that they would have joined the Nihilators…they have been proud and selfish and a little hard to handle at times, but not nearly to the same extent as the birds. They could sometimes cause trouble, but were usually reliable and trustworthy."

"Well, they said they were tired of having to heed Ho-Oh's every whim or always having to run around saving people from disasters and stuff rather than those Pokémon doing it themselves," Ash said.

Lugia's frown deepened. "That…does not sound like them. How odd."

"Well, maybe you can get a better answer the next time we run into them, all I know is that's what they told me," Ash said.

"Hmm. All right. I may do just that," Lugia said.

"Anyway, is there any other big important Chosen One stuff I should know about?" Ash asked.

"Hmm…there is one thing I can think of, and it should come as a relief to you, since it will relieve some of the pressure of the coming struggle for you," Lugia said. "In the event that our worst fear comes to pass and the Ruler of Evil is revived, we have an advantage. The weapon that was used to defeat it and the Gaiavore the last time is in this star system. After we discovered the Door and the Gaiavore were here, we moved the weapon here so that it could be mobilized quickly in case of an emergency."

"Oh, cool!" Ash said. "That _is_ good to know!"

"Yes…there's just one small complication…" Lugia said uneasily.

Ash sighed. "Of course there is. What is it?"

"It's been hidden in a place only Cresselia and Darkrai can access," Lugia said.

_Not that that'll be a problem for much longer,_ Darkrai commented.

"Yeah, since we're going to rescue her soon," Ash said. "So, where'd you put it? The realm of dreams or something?"

…_Er, no, but that's actually a really good idea,_ Darkrai said in surprise. _Can't believe we never thought of that one…_

Ash frowned. "So where is it, then?"

"The Moon," Lugia said.

"Oh. Neat," Ash said.

…_That's it? We tell you 'on the Moon,' and you think it's just 'neat?'_ Darkrai asked incredulously.

"Well, I've already met some Pokémon from the Moon, so know it's habitable and that you and Cresselia are in charge of it, so it doesn't come as that big of a surprise," Ash said.

_Oh. Hmmph,_ Darkrai grunted, sounding somewhat disappointed.

"That isn't the only problem, though," Lugia said. "Even after we rescue Cresselia—and my family, and everyone else—even though we'll be able to access the weapon, we need one last component that only the Guardian of Light can provide us with. She will have to be summoned somehow."

"Oh, that's no problem, my friends back in Pokémon Square summoned her weeks ago," Ash said.

Lugia's eyes bulged. "Wait, what? They did?"

"Yeah," Ash said.

"Why didn't you mention that sooner? That's wonderful news!" Lugia said.

"Um…it sort of is, but there's kind of a complication there too…" Ash said.

Lugia sighed. "Of course there is. What is it?"

"Well…it's a bit of a long story...as is catching up on everything else we've been up to since this adventure started, which you might need to know for context," Ash said.

"It's a long flight. We have plenty of time. Tell me," Lugia said.

"Okay. You don't want to just read my mind?" Ash asked.

Lugia shook his head. "No, I think you're tired by now of people poking around in your mind. I don't mind hearing the tale the old-fashioned way."

"Heh. Wow, you should tell that to Briney," Ash said, touched by Lugia's consideration for his feelings. "All right, I'll tell you the story. It all started when Pikachu and I got back from a rescue mission saving a Rattata named Matthias Shorttail from some barbarians and found a letter from Misty and Gardevoir…"

…

As Ash began to tell the extremely long story of how they had reached this point, down in the train his friends were relaxing in Fantina's luxury compartment, which they had been generously invited into to relax while they continued to Fichina. (Naturally, Silvia had been insanely jealous.) Leo and Tiny were eagerly flipping channels on Fantina's enormous crystal ball viewer, Briney was reclining in a couch and snoring loudly in a deep sleep, Sasha was staring out the window at the pristine desert scenery—which was no longer littered with wrecked warships, since they had left the battlefield behind them several minutes ago—Lily was talking with Fantina and Bow about something, Pikachu was sharpening his sword and trying to hide his dissatisfaction with its current weakened state, Dawn was keeping an eye on him and everyone else, while Butler and Diane were keeping an eye on _her_ and everyone else.

"Leo?" Tiny asked, eyes glued to the strange and wondrous images flickering through the big crystal ball as Leo repeatedly pressed the rune to change the channel.

"Yeah?" Leo asked, eyes also glued to the crystal.

"Is there a reason you're going through all the channels so fast, or is there something in particular you're looking for?" the Pupitar asked.

"I don't get most of these channels back home or on my portable TV, so I want to see everything these magic guys have that I don't," Leo explained.

"Oh," Tiny said. "Well…are we going to stop and watch anything anytime soon? It all looks really interesting to me."

"I know, which is part of the problem. I can't choose just one thing to watch, so I'm surfing through all the channels at high speed so I can view a little bit of everything in rapid succession to not only get an accurate sample of just what's available but also so I'm theoretically watching everything at the same time," Leo explained. "It's probably a good thing neither of us are epileptic, or we'd have gone into seizures by now."

"Oh, okay," Tiny said, having no idea what epilepsy was. "But if we're flipping through channels so quickly we're only on them for less than a second, how can you possibly tell what's going on?"

"Because I'm an experienced channel surfer, that's why," Leo said proudly.

"Ah," Tiny said. "Um…so…when do you think you'll know for sure what you want to watch?"

Leo shrugged. "Eh, dunno. Maybe after I've seen what's on every channel. Could take a while, since I hear there's a few thousand on this thing."

"Oh my," Tiny said.

"Yep! Isn't it awesome?" Leo said eagerly.

"Er, _excuse-mois, Monsieur _DeKappa? May I speak to you for a moment?" Bow asked, floating over to them.

Leo reluctantly tore his eyes away from the crystal ball. That didn't stop him from glancing at it out of the corner of his eye while reflexively tapping the control rune multiple times a second, though. "Huh? Oh, sure, what is it?"

"Um…it's somezing of importance, and I would razzer we discuss it…in private," Bow said, fidgeting and glancing at where her mother and Lily were chatting.

"What? Oh, all right," Leo said reluctantly. "Hold on, lemme just find something to occupy the kid…" He turned his full attention back to the crystal, looking for something suitable for Tiny to watch. "No…no…no…ah, here we go! A nice, safe, child-friendly cartoon!" Leo said, stopping the crystal on a display of several wind-up toy Pokémon fighting another group of toys covered in rust, the sound of battle cries, attacks, and frenzied shouts ringing out between the more polished toys as they tried to strategize and outmaneuver their rusted adversaries filling the air around the entertainment center.

"Zat's not a cartoon, zat's live footage from ze Toy World of ze ongoing battle between ze Wonder Key Army and Dark Rust Legion for control of ze World Axle," Bow said.

"Eh, close enough," Leo said, rising from his seat. "Have fun, Tiny!"

"Oooh," Tiny said, eyes widening as he stared at the battle displayed in the crystal. "Shiny toys…"

Bow led Leo over to a distant corner of the room, away from the others. "So, Lady Bow, what's this about? Because if you're about to express romantic interest in me, while I can't say I'm not flattered because you're a totally smoking babe, Lily and I are kind of an item and I'm fairly certain she wouldn't appreciate me doing anything with you. And I'm not the kind of guy who'd break a lady's heart, so there's no way I'd _ever_ do that to her. Unless you or your mom manage to convince her to accept Mewrian sentiments regarding romance and sexuality, in which case I'd be cool with it, but only if she got to join in too, because otherwise it would feel kind of awkward," the Squirtle said.

Bow burst into laughter and fanned herself to hide a blush. "Oh, Monsieur DeKappa, you are such a charmer! It's easy to see what Lily sees in you."

"Heh, thanks," Leo said, blushing in turn. "So, uh, if that's not it, what is it you wanted to talk about?"

Bow frowned, her expression and manner turning gravely serious. "Actually, it involves Lily."

"Oh. Uh…okay," Leo said, immediately taking this seriously. "What is it? Is she in trouble?"

"Possibly, but zat's not somezing for you to worry about," Bow said.

"What? Hey, I think that's something I should be _very_ worried-" Leo started.

"It's under control," Bow interrupted. "What I need to know is 'ow far you 'ave gotten in your progress towards breaking Lily's curse."

Leo frowned, deciding to table whatever Bow was talking about for later. "I've finished almost all of my preparations. In fact, I could probably take the next-to-last step in breaking it right now if I wanted to."

Bow's eyes widened in surprise and delight. "You could? Zis is wonderful news! Quickly, we must-"

"I'm not finished," Leo interrupted. "I _could_ take that step right now, but I won't."

Bow stared at him for a moment in bewilderment, before a very dark look passed over her face. "Monsieur Leo, you 'ad better 'ave a _very_ good explanation for zis, or our mutual friend Lily may soon be short one beau."

"Do that and I can almost guarantee Lily's curse will never be broken," Leo retorted, unintimidated. "And I have a very good reason for why I can't do it now. It's not the Perfect Moment."

Bow blinked in puzzlement. "Not ze Perfect Moment? Does it need to be done at a particular time of day, like ritual magic?"

"Oh no, it could technically be done anytime and anywhere…but if you want it done _right_, you need to do it at the absolutely Perfect Moment," Leo said.

Bow frowned in concern. "And if you don't do it zen, it won't work?"

"Nah, it'll probably work no matter where or when I do it, but when I _do_ do it, I want the Moment to be absolutely Perfect," Leo said eagerly. "That way, it'll be much more romantic!"

Bow facetentacled. "Oh for ze love of…you're kidding me! You're 'olding out because ze atmosphere isn't right?"

Leo raised an eyebrow. "Oh, so you're telling me that you wouldn't like it if your boyfriend or girlfriend or whoever or whatever you're involved with did 'it' to you at the most romantic opportunity?"

"I would be 'appy no matter where zey did it!" Bow said angrily. "And so would Lily!"

"You're right, she probably would," Leo agreed. "But this is Lily we're talking about. After all the crap she's been through all her unlife, all the abuse and other stuff her mom's done, don't you think that this, possibly the most important thing that's ever happened to her in her existence so far, should only take place at the _Perfect M_oment? She doesn't deserve less than that!"

Lily was taken aback at this, staring at Leo with new respect. "I…yes…I suppose you are right. She…_does_ deserve for it to be perfect."

"Thank you! That's what I've been trying to say!" Leo cried, throwing his arms in the air.

Bow frowned in concern. "But…Monsieur DeKappa…don't you zink if you keep waiting for such a Moment, it might not come until it is too late?"

Leo sighed. "You think I don't know that? Yeah, you're right, I could and probably should do it sooner, but…but Lily…she's the love of my life. She's the best thing that's ever happened to me, next to Ash and Pikachu choosing to take me on their journey. My sense of romance—and drama—demand that I only do this at the absolutely perfect moment, to make this as awesome and beautiful for her as I can! I know that it's not really necessary to break the curse that I do it that way…but…this is so important to the both of us that I want it done _right_, you know?"

Bow stared at him for a long moment, awestruck. "…Monsieur Leo, Lily is very, _very_ lucky to 'ave you as 'er beloved. It is only out of respect for ze bozh of you zat I am not showering you wiz kisses right now, because you 'ave just captured my 'eart in a way zat very few of ze 'igh society mons I routinely deal wiz ever 'ave."

Leo blinked, not entirely sure how to take this. "Uh, thanks?"

"No, zank _you_, Leo, for proving zat you are ze perfect mon to 'elp Lily," Bow said. She fanned herself a moment, deep in thought. "I zink I 'ave an idea on 'ow to set up zis 'perfect moment' you are seeking. Mama is planning to take Lily somewhere very special once we've gotten settled in at 'ome. If everyzing zere goes as Mama zinks it will—and I 'ave no reason to believe it won't—it will be ze opportune time for you to do what must be done. Do you understand?"

Leo frowned. "I think so…but where are they going to go, and what's supposed to happen there?"

Bow smiled and leaned in close, holding up several fans to shield their faces from the others. "Well, Monsieur Leo, you may recall zat Bellum used to be Fichinan nobility. As such, 'er family 'ad a very large and impressive estate, one zat fell into ruin after she murdered 'er family and was cast out of ze realm."

Leo frowned. "Yeah…so?"

Bow grinned. "Ze estate was maintained by ze magic of ze Yuki'imis, and once zey were no more, it collapsed. What do you zink will 'appen when it senses Lily, Bellum's daughter?"

Leo's eyes widened. "…I'm listening."

As Leo and Bow plotted, Lily noticed their odd behavior from the other side of the room and frowned in puzzlement when she saw how they were hiding behind a number of fans. "What are they doing?"

"Well, eizer zey are planning somezing zey don't want anyone to know about or are making out," Fantina said.

"Oh," Lily said, uncertain which she thought was worse. "Well…it must be the first thing, then, since Leo would never do that with another womon."

Fantina smirked. "You 'aven't 'ad much experience wiz ze opposite sex, 'ave you? But no, you're right, 'e wouldn't do zat to you." Her face darkened. "And if 'e did, I would make 'im regret it."

"Um…what were we talking about again?" Lily asked quickly, hoping to get the topic off of Leo.

"'mm? Oh, yes, I was telling you about some of ze zings we can do in Fichina," Fantina said, perking up.

"Not that none of them sound any fun, because they all do, but…is that really the best use of our time?" Lily said timidly. "I mean, don't we need to testify about the Nihilators, and then go out and _do_ something about it?"

Fantina chuckled. "You 'aven't 'ad much experience wiz bureaucracy eizzer, 'ave you? Trust me, Lily, even once you've laid all ze facts on ze table it's going to take a little while for our government to actually _do_ anyzing about it…especially since we're probably going to 'ave to collaborate wiz a lot of ozzer governments, too, somezing neizer of our nations will like very much."

Lily frowned. "That doesn't seem right."

"Zat's international politics, dear. Part of ze reason most countries secretly desire to rule ze world is so zat zey won't 'ave to deal wiz ze people in charge of all ze ozzer nations," Fantina said with a grin.

Lily frowned. "What, even Fichina?"

Fantina shook her head. "Oh, no! Well…okay, zere's a few evil wizards…and 'igh-ranking members of government…who would love to conquer ze world, but zankfully Fichina 'as level-'eaded individuals like ze Queen and yours truly to keep somezing like zat from 'appening. While we _could_ probably dominate ze world wiz magic, I don't zink it'd be in any shape to rule over once we were done."

"Oh my…" Lily said.

"Plus, trying anyzing like zat would just stir up anti-magic prejudice again and land us back in ze mess zat led to ze creation of Fichina in ze first place," Fantina said. "Except zis time ze world is much more organized zan it was zen, so a global magicide would be much more feasible, albeit wiz _massive_ casualties on everyone's side so nobody would win."

"…My mother probably hasn't helped at all with that, has she?" Lily asked sadly.

Fantina sighed. "No dear, she 'asn't."

"And…and neither have I…" Lily whispered, starting to tear up.

"Lily?" Fantina asked in alarm. "What's wrong?"

"I-I've done so many terrible things while I was with Mother!" Lily cried.

Fantina quickly moved in to embrace the younger Misdreavus. "Lily, I've already told you, I don't blame you for any of zat!"

"You might not, but what about the rest of the world?" Lily sobbed. "What-what about Fichina? They cast Mother out for all the terrible things she's done…and I've done quite a lot of awful things, too! How can they possibly welcome me with open arms knowing what I've done, and that I'm her daughter?"

Fantina drew back, her face hardening. "Lily, I promise you zat anyone who tries to 'arm you in any way will 'ave to answer to me, as well as your friends."

"B-but you said yourself, you're just one person!" Lily pointed out. "If the rest of the country wanted to lock me away or execute me or do s-something terrible to make me pay for my crimes, I don't think even you could stop them! You'd just get hurt, and so would my friends, and I don't want that to happen to _any_ of you!"

_Then it's a good thing you'll never have to worry about that,_ Dawn said, having overheard the conversation with her overlarge ears.

Lily blinked in surprise. "Huh? What do you mean?"

_Have you forgotten who your father is? Nuken Shinobu, the second-in-command of the entire Draconian Empire and one of the most feared Pokémon on the planet,_ Dawn clicked. _The Empire has already—under significant pressure from him—granted you amnesty for your crimes._

"Oh. I…hadn't thought of that…" Lily murmured. She was still so used to the idea of having two parents that she often forgot she had a father out there. The fact that he kind of scared her didn't help matters. "But…that's just the Empire. I've committed crimes in a lot of other places, too."

Dawn shrugged._ Doesn't matter. You are the daughter of a Very Important Pokémon. As such, you have a degree of diplomatic immunity. If any law-enforcement agency or government in the world tried to arrest you, they would risk bringing the wrath of one of the world's most powerful nations—and most dangerous Pokémon-down on their heads. While I doubt everyone will be happy with your presence, they'll be too scared of your father to try anything._

Looker, who had been standing outside the door to the compartment listening to all this, swore furiously. (How did he get past the security spells on the car, or circumvent the privacy enchantments on the compartment? Simple, he was a detective.) _She's Shinobu's daughter? None of our files on her said anything about that!_ He groaned and unhappily stuffed the notepad he'd been writing on back into his longcoat. _Well, there goes my case…almost ten years of research and investigative work down the drain thanks to nepotism. There's no way the brass will want to press charges against the daughter of one of the most feared Pokémon alive, and for once, we're _not_ talking about her mother! _He sighed despondently. _And if I can't get her, I've lost pretty much my only major lead on taking down Bellum…sure it looks like they're going to be doing that soon anyway, but that means all the work I put into it will have been for nothing! Plus, I doubt it'll be the International Police who puts the collar on her but some other group, considering how many major players will be involved in the ensuing monhunt once all the information on the Nihilators becomes public. _He shook his head, stuck his hands in his pockets, and walked away. _Typical…nothing's ever easy for law enforcement…Arceus, I need a drink…_

Had Lily been aware of how much of Looker's plans she had ruined by being Nuken's daughter, she would have probably been upset, because that's the kind of person she was, though it might also have been from being the target of Looker's investigation all along without ever knowing it. She was still upset, however, but for a different reason. "So…I'm off the hook? That's…that's nice…" she said faintly.

Fantina, who had been elated upon hearing Dawn's news, frowned when she realized Lily wasn't as happy as she was. "Lily? What's wrong? Zis is wonderful news, isn't it?"

"Well…no, not really," Lily said, somewhat frustrated. "I mean, yes, I'm happy that I'm not going to get into trouble, but that doesn't change the fact that a lot of people are still probably going to dislike me. In fact, they're liable to dislike me even more because they'll know that I've done lots of bad things, but thanks to my father, I'm not going to have to face consequences for any of them!"

"Well…yes, zat's true," Fantina admitted reluctantly.

"Not only that, while I didn't want to get in trouble, that doesn't mean I don't think I should be punished for what I've done! Yes, I did it unwillingly and at my mother's behest, but I _did_ _it_ all the same, and there should be _some_ kind of retribution for that! Instead, I apparently get absolved because I have a powerful father, whom I've yet to even meet face-to-face, and is apparently almost as frightening an individual as my mother. It shouldn't…it shouldn't be that easy. It's not that I don't want to be forgiven, but it should be something I've _earned_, not something that's just handed to me like that!" Lily said unhappily.

"…'mm. Put like zat, I can see why it might upset you," Fantina admitted. "Look at it zis way, zough: did you profit at all from your misdeeds? Were you 'appy wiz your Mozzer?"

"No, not in the slightest," Lily said miserably. "You know that!"

"I do. Which is why I know you 'ave already earned forgiveness," Fantina said. "You spent your zree 'undred years of existence being tormented by 'er, Lily. In my mind, zat more zan repays any debt you feel you owe to society to make up for ze sins of your past. You do not need to suffer anymore, since you've already done more zan enough of zat for one lifetime. Don't you see zat?"

"…I…I don't know…" Lily said uncertainly.

"Well I do," Fantina said stubbornly. "And so do your friends! Or are you saying zat all of us are wrong?"

"N-no! Of course not!" Lily stammered in alarm. "I would never-"

"Good," Fantina interrupted. "Zen zat's settled." When Lily grimaced, Fantina's face softened. "Lily, you know more zan anyone how unfair life can be sometimes. So don't you zink it's a little silly to complain when, for once, zat unfairness is actually working in your favor for a change?"

"…I…I guess…" Lily said uncertainly.

"'mm. Zis is about your fazzer too, isn't it?" Fantina intuited. "You are afraid of 'im, and aren't sure you want to be known for or take advantage of your relationship wiz 'im any more zan you would your Mozzer, oui?"

Lily flushed. "I…yes…something like that."

Fantina shook her head. "Lily, I 'ave met your fazzer, and while I am not particularly fond of 'im, I will say zis of 'im: 'e is cruel, unrelenting, violent, and in many ways a monster. 'owever, 'e is one of ze most loyal and trustworzy Pokémon I know, and 'as a capacity for love greater zan I zink even 'e realizes. 'E is one of ze most feared Pokémon in ze world—a reputation 'e 'as fairly earned—but 'e 'as a 'eart somewhere inside zat shell of 'is, and zat alone makes 'im a greater mon zan your Mozzer ever was."

"…" Lily sighed. "I…guess I should give him a chance, shouldn't I?"

"'e's your only parent zat actually gives a damn about you. I zink you 'ave to," Fantina said.

Lily nodded reluctantly. "I suppose I'll be meeting him soon enough…I'm just not sure how that will go. He already seems to disapprove of my traveling with my friends, and he seemed…kind of upset I didn't want to come and live with him…"

"'e's been searching for you for centuries. It's understandable zat 'e'd be a little upset zat, now zat you're finally free from your mozzer, you're reluctant to 'ave anyzing to do wiz him," Fantina said.

"That's true…" Lily closed her eyes. "I'll…try to accept him as my father. I've never had a father before, so I'm not sure how to do that, but…but I'll try."

"Zat is all anyone can ask of you, Lily," Fantina said, smiling warmly.

"Everyone!" Sasha cried from her window, surging to her feet and startling the others.

Briney woke up with a sudden start. "Huh? What? Whatzit? Whuz going on? Can't an old sailor get some sleep around here?" he grumbled, yawning and stretching his arms.

"There is something incredible coming up…I think we must be almost in Fichina!" Sasha said.

They rushed over to the windows to see, except for Briney, who took his time while grumbling about how he'd been having a perfectly nice nap, and Tiny, who was so enamored watching Toy Pokémon in another dimension tearing each other apart that he hadn't heard at first, so Butler had to send one of his disembodied hands to drag him away from the crystal to look at the view. The Pupitar complained at first, until he saw what was out the window. "Oooh."

Gazing out the window, they could make out several _massive_ forms standing in the near distance, stretching across the horizon in both directions. They were gargantuan statues at least two-thirds the size of a frost giant with runic lines and glyphs engraved on their skin, glowing brightly against the dark gray stone making up the rest of their bodies. The statues had rounded, simplistic features, as if they were clay dolls (not to be confused with Claydols) supersized to tower over everything around them. The statues did not appear to be of any particular species of Pokémon, but rather a variety of body styles: some were four-legged beasts, others were humanoid and occasionally tailed, some looked like avians with great stone wings, others were serpentine, some were simply heads with arms, legs, and/or bases, some had tentacles, and some even looked like gigantic stone insects. The only commonality they had was their composition, the color and designs of the lines and glyphs covering their bodies, and their simplistic features. Additionally, most of them seemed to be carrying spear-like weapons in whatever limbs they possessed. Those that did not have suitable appendages to hold weapons had similar objects mounted on their backs or rather large glowing eyes carved into their sides. The air behind the statues looked oddly hazy and opaque, and there was a thin line of green at their feet.

"I know! Cool, innit?" Leo said giddily. "The only thing that would be cooler is if they were _moving!_"

"They can move, actually," Butler said.

Leo gasped. "Whoa! No way, really?"

"Yes really," Butler said with a nod.

"What _are_ they?" Pikachu asked.

"And exactly how much did it cost to build the darn things?" Briney wondered.

"Zose are ze legendary Colossi of Fichina," Fantina said proudly. "Zey are golems charged wiz protecting our country's borders. Where zey stand is ze furzezt boundary of Fichina. Zey were created by ze country's founders long ago to ensure zat no invaders would ever set foot on Fichinan soil."

_Have they ever been used?_ Dawn asked, impressed.

"Oh yes, but not for a very long time," Diane said. "But in the old days when our kind still faced persecution from the rest of the world, they saw quite a lot of action repelling our enemies. Not a single opponent ever managed to make it past them!"

"But that was a long time ago. These days they don't see much combat," Butler said. "The closest we got was a few years back when this one crazy guy with a bow and a stolen magic sword rode across the entire desert on Rapidashback and tried to kill the Colossi."

They stared at him incredulously, although Leo frowned, thinking this sounded oddly familiar. "One guy? Kill _those?_ How?" an amazed Tiny demanded.

"Yeah, everyone knows _I'm_ the only one around here who could do something like that single-handedly!" Briney said.

"'e seemed to zink zat 'e could climb zem and stab his sword into zeir weak spots to kill zem," Fantina said. Leo blinked, his sense of déjà vu increasing.

"Did it work?" Pikachu asked.

"No, he got stepped on," Diane reported.

"Heh. Serves him right," Briney chuckled.

"Why would anyone even try to do something like that?" asked the amazed Dawn.

"We think someone told him that if he killed all the Colossi, he could use their power to revive his dead girlfriend," Butler said. "Why he didn't just take her to a Pokémon Center or use a Resurrection spell or potion on her I'll never know. I'm pretty sure there are easier ways to bring back the dead than that."

_Yep, there certainly are. I remember that guy. What a loser,_ Darkrai said in Sasha's mind.

"He braved impossible odds to try and save the womon he loved. Is that not noble?" Sasha asked.

_No, it's stupid, because like Butler said, there are easier ways than trying to kill giant guardians,_ Darkrai said. _He coulda made a pact with me, for one thing, sort of like you did. But noooo, he decided it would be a brilliant idea to steal a magic sword, ride across a giant desert, and kill several dozen giants by climbing up them and stabbing them with the equivalent of a needle. Guy had a death wish, I swear…_

"You know, I could _swear_ I played a video game with that exact same plot," Leo said suspiciously.

"You've played lots of video games with almost the exact same plot as most of our adventures," Pikachu pointed out.

"Ah, too true," Leo admitted.

"I admit it doesn't sound very impressive, hearing that they haven't done much in ages other than step on one stupid kid, but trust me, when these things get moving, they mean business," Butler said. "Before I joined Her Grace's service, I was a soldier in the Fichinan army during a somewhat tumultuous period following Bellum's exile when a number of powerful families all tried to grab the title of Duchess for themselves and a minor civil war broke out. One of our country's enemies thought that would be a perfect time to attack, so sent a massive invasion force along with a handful of Devil Golems they'd managed to cook up to try and break through the line of the Colossi."

Lily gasped at this. "Devil Golems? Oh my. I didn't think anyone aside from my mother was evil enough to make one of those…"

"What are Devil Golems?" Tiny asked.

"Giant monsters made using incredibly dark magic and the sacrifice of hundreds of souls," Leo said.

Fantina nodded grimly as Tiny blanched in horror. "Yes, zat sums it up exactly."

Pikachu shook his head angrily. "Gal's army was trying to grow a few back home. Thankfully, our friends there and the Draconians were able to destroy them…still, the thought that those bastards killed so many people to create something so vile…if only we could have stopped them sooner."

_At least your friends managed to destroy them before they could kill anyone,_ Dawn said.

"Yeah…too bad we couldn't keep them from being made in the first place," Pikachu said unhappily.

Sasha frowned. "So…if Devil Golems are fueled by sacrificed souls, what powers those Colossi?"

"Not souls, if that's what you're worried about," Diane reassured them.

Bow nodded. "Most of ze magical devices and artifacts in Fichina draw power from ze same source: ze ultra-dense magic-rich energy field encompassing ze country generated by ze Queen and ze converging ley lines. Ze Colossi are no different. Not only does zis make zem more Pokémane, zey're also quite a bit more fuel-efficient!"

"So what happened when you guys pitted your Colossi against their Devil Golems?" Tiny asked.

"They lost. Badly," Butler said with pride. "I'd like to take some of the credit for our victory along with the rest of the army, but the truth is the Colossi did most of the work. They ripped the Devil Golems to pieces with their bare hands or smashed them until they broke apart, then stomped on the enemy forces until their morale was broken and they surrendered. Seeing those wondrous titans striding victoriously across the field of battle was one of the most magnificent things I'd ever seen in my life…it was also the last thing I saw in my life, because some airship wreckage knocked out of the sky by a Colossus fell on my head and killed me."

They all winced at that. "Ouch," Lily said.

"Bah. Lightweight," Briney scoffed. "I got rammed through at least fifty battleships by Shadow Lugia and lived to tell the tale."

"I thought it was thirty-five," Pikachu said.

"Nobody asked you, boy," Briney snarled.

"Yeah, it hurt a lot, but I came back as a Ghost, so it wasn't that big a deal," the Dusclops said. "I decided I'd had enough of the army life after that incident, though, so retired and went back home to work for the Fantasmas, whom my family has served for generations."

"And we were very 'appy to 'ave you!" Fantina said cheerfully.

"By that point the civil war had ended, with Fantina being named the new Duchess and replacing the Yukihimis as Fichina's first family, so I thought that things would be relatively peaceful from that point forward." Butler shook his head mournfully. "Naturally, I couldn't have been more wrong."

"Wow. Cool war story," Leo said. "Other than the part where an airship fell on you."

"Meh, I've had worse," Briney said. "I got smashed through a hundred airships, after all."

"I thought it was thirty-five," Sasha said.

"Nobody asked you," Briney snarled.

"You know, I think we could have used a few of those fighting the Nihilator fleet…" Pikachu said.

"Zey can't move very far from ze border," Bow explained. "Since Fichina's energy field is zeir power source, if zey spend too much time outside of it zey run down. And let me tell you, it is _not_ easy to drag one back across ze border to recharge it…"

"Oh. I guess that is a problem," Pikachu admitted. "Still, couldn't they have sent reinforcements that weren't entirely dependent on Fichina's magical energy field?"

"Zey could 'ave, but Cherry said not to, so zey didn't," Fantina said.

"…Ah," Pikachu said with a frown. "We could have used the help."

"Did we? We managed to whup the Nihilators pretty solidly on our own," Leo pointed out.

"Vladimir died," Pikachu reminded him.

"Which is only one casualty, rather than many, which might have been the case otherwise," Butler pointed out. "Statistics-wise, that's actually pretty good considering the odds we were up against."

"Still one too many casualties for my liking…" Pikachu muttered.

"So these giants keep out outsiders? Why will they let us in, then?" Sasha asked.

"Since we're no longer at war with anyone, they've been reprogrammed to allow anyone in so long as they either harbor no hostile intent or aren't on a blacklist of banished mages," Diane said.

"Such as my Mother," Lily guessed.

Diane nodded. "Precisely."

"And…am I on that list, too?" Lily asked anxiously.

"Not anymore, zanks to me pulling a few strings," Fantina said smugly. "As I said before, not everyone in Fichina is 'appy zat you're coming…but since I'm vouching for you, and you've already demonstrated you are not your mozzer by fighting against 'er, zey are willing to give you a chance."

"Oh! Then…then I will do my best to prove myself worthy of their trust," Lily said timidly.

"Relax, babe, you won us over easily enough, didn't you?" Leo said with a smirk, causing Lily to blush.

"We are about to pass through the border," Butler said, grabbing everyone's attention. They looked back out the windows and saw that they had rapidly closed the distance between them and the Colossi while they were discussing the history and nature of the giant sentinels. The golems looked even more massive up close, filling almost their entire range of vision and rising so high most of the upper portions of their bodies were lost to view. The train tracks ran right between the feet of a Colossus standing directly in front of them and vanishing into the shimmering air behind the giants, which oddly enough hadn't cleared up much despite them growing closer. If they squinted, they could make out green fields and tall mountains, but not much more than that. Interestingly, there seemed to be a very clear demarcation right in front of the Colossi, a line with grass growing on one side and desert sands on the other, with the Colossi standing within the grassy portion.

"Wow, they're so big!" Tiny gasped.

"The frost giants were bigger," Briney said, trying to act unimpressed.

"There weren't as many of them, though," Sasha said, which Briney grudgingly had to agree with.

_Fichina has a coast,_ Dawn said, glancing at their hosts. _How do you defend it from invasion by sea?_

"Sea monsters and aquatic Colossi," Diane said.

"Well, _obviously,_" Leo said, rolling his eyes. Dawn glared at him.

"You may want to brace yourselves," Fantina advised the heroes. "Ze first time zrough ze border is always a little overwhelming for zose who aren't from Fichina or possess no magic due to ze intense magical energy field we've told you about."

"Is it dangerous?" Pikachu asked in concern, alarmed that nobody had mentioned this before.

"Don't worry, I have plenty of spare radiation suits to wear in case you're worried about getting magic cancer or something," Leo said.

Pikachu sighed. "Of course you do, Leo…"

"Nozzing like zat, it's just zat ze energy might make you a little…light'eaded due to your bodies not being used to so much magic," Bow said. "It won't last long, zough, you should acclimate pretty quickly."

"Or you'll pass out," Butler said. The heroes looked at him in alarm, while his mistresses glared. "What? It happens. Occasionally."

There was no time for further discussion after that, because, quite abruptly, they passed between the Colossus' legs and into Fichina. They were able to tell the exact instant they entered the country, because that instant was when a surge of incredible energy washed through them, overstimulating every nerve ending in their bodies, causing them to stumble and nearly fall over in disorientation, their heads swimming as colorful swirls and patterns vaguely resembling writing flickered before their eyes while a strangely beautiful siren's wail rang in their ears and caused their heads to throb. Tiny moaned and turned green, looking as if he was going to throw up yet again. Dawn, usually so balanced and sure of herself, found herself tripping over her large feet, her ears folded tight against her skull as a look of discomfort distorted her face. Pikachu fell to one knee and drove his sword into the carpet to try and support himself, gasping and sweating. Sasha moaned and collapsed on her belly, her lithe legs unable to support her. Leo laughed giddily and twirled about drunkenly, his pupils dilated as he shouted, "So _this _is what it's like to be high!"

"Eh, I've had worse trips," Briney, who seemed to be almost completely unaffected by the magical surge save for a slight quiver in his mustache, grunted.

"Oh no!" Lily, who was unaffected save for feeling slightly light-headed and over-energized, as if all the energy she'd lost during the battle had been returned to her plus extra, gasped at the sight of her friends. "We have to do something!"

"Relax, zis shouldn't last for more zan a few seconds," Fantina assured her.

Bow nodded and pointed as the heroes managed to regain their footing, squinting and wincing and rubbing their heads in discomfort as the effects of the energy surge wore off. "You see? Already it is passing. Zey should be fine shortly."

Not willing to take this on faith, Lily rushed over to her friends. "Everyone! Are you all right?"

They all flinched. "Ahhh! Not so loud!" Pikachu said with a grimace.

Dawn nodded, and then stopped because it caused her head to hurt too much. _My ears are still ringing…_

"Darn, I didn't even get the chance to have any cool hallucinations," Leo complained.

"Yet again I find myself wishing I never left home…" Sasha grunted as she staggered back to her feet.

"Hmmph. Lightweight," Briney said scornfully.

"That wasn't so bad, actually," Tiny said, having bounced back faster than the others, already looking rejuvenated. "Certainly not as bad as the hangover I got from drinking Barbedo under the table!"

"What do you mean? You both drank on top of the table," Sasha said in confusion. "And then you passed out."

Tiny rolled his eyes. "It's just a figure of speech, Sasha." He blinked. "Whoa. It feels weird to say that to somebody else for a change."

Lily sighed in relief. "Oh, thank goodness…I was really worried for a second!"

"Nah, we were fine," Leo assured her. "You should know by now we can take worse than that!"

"I know, but still…I worry," Lily admitted abashedly.

"It just shows you care," Pikachu said, blinking repeatedly to clear his vision as he sheathed his sword.

"Is something like that going to happen on our way out, too?" Sasha asked.

"Since you're leaving ze field, no," Fantina said. "You should also be able to reenter it wizout difficulty now zat you've already done it once."

"And 'opefully ze next time you come by, you won't 'ave to go zrough so much to get 'ere!" Bow joked.

_That will be a relief,_ Dawn said.

"Not for me. I liked all the fighting," Briney said. They ignored him.

"And now that you're all feeling better…perhaps you would like to take a look outside? I'm fairly certain you'll enjoy the view," Butler said, gesturing towards the windows.

They turned towards the windows. Just as they had when they had seen the Colossi, their jaws dropped in wonder. (Even Briney's, although nobody noticed, and he was quick to shut it again.) "Welcome to Fichina," Fantina said joyfully when she saw the looks on their faces.

The view outside the train as they sped away from the Colossi, leaving the massive stone giants and the country's border behind them, was nothing short of magical, pardon the lame pun. The colors seemed richer, the world sharper and somehow more _real_, as if it was closer to the center of things. Verdant plains spread out in every direction beneath a beautiful clear blue sky, the grass greener than any grass they'd ever seen before and covered in flowers of such eye-popping beauty and colors that it dazzled the mind to look at, especially because the beautiful plants were arranged in patterns resembling magical signs that they thought they might be able to understand if they just _looked_ at them for a little longer. Off to their right and receding in the distance towards the horizon, running parallel to the Colossi whose backs they could just make out from that angle, were a series of stone forts covered in lines and glyphs similar to the ones on the Colossi, no doubt placed there to defend the border. Several hundred armor-clad Pokémon of various species had assembled on parade grounds behind the forts and pointed their limbs upwards in formation, colorful bursts of energy shooting up and exploding in fireworks resembling the faces of everyone onboard the train. Every fort they could see seemed to be doing the same thing, so it looked like every military unit stationed at the border was celebrating their arrival.

"What are they doing?" Sasha asked in wonder.

"And how do they know what we all look like?" Pikachu asked warily.

"That's the division of the Fichinan armed forces stationed at the border to bolster the Colossi," Butler explained. "One of them is the unit I served with back when I was alive, actually. I went to a reunion at my old fort just last month."

"Since they were unable to help us due to fear of disrupting Cherry's prophecy, congratulating us on our victory and safe return is the least they can do to show their appreciation for what we've done and their apology for not coming to our aid," Diane said.

"You're right, it _is_ the least they can do," Briney growled. They ignored him.

"Zey know what you look like because we sent information about you a'ead of us so zey could be prepared for our arrival. Um…zat's okay, isn't it?" Bow asked.

Pikachu frowned. "Well, I would have preferred it if you had asked us first, but I guess so."

"It's so pretty!" Tiny gushed, though whether he was referring to the fireworks display or the seemingly endless field of flowers outside was hard to say.

"Look a'ead, and you'll see somezing _really_ pretty," Fantina said smugly.

They did, and once again their jaws dropped. As the Enchanted Express merrily chugged onwards, picking up speed due to the magical energy field supercharging the engine, more details of the strange new land they had just entered came into view. Flower-filled fields continued to stretch out all around them, but there was more in them than just flowers. Tall standing stones with glowing runes etched into their sides rose up here and there, arranged in circles and hexagrams and other formations that made sense only to their builders and extremely learned mages. Large glowing crystals of varying hues sprouted from the ground as well, the flowers around them seeming to share their composition and changing colors in time with their larger brethren as light refracted through the big gems and sequences of runes flickered in their depths. Thick sprawling forests of trees with leaves of so many different colors it looked like either Fall had come early here or someone had painted them all the colors of the rainbow (and a few that weren't) sprouted here and there. Some of them, much to the amazement of the heroes, actually appeared to be _mobile_, the trees abruptly rising out of the ground and walking about on their tendril-like roots, migrating in vast herds and putting the lie to the old story that migrating Torterra were mistaken for walking forests, since they looked nothing like the real thing. Interestingly, many of the leaves and tree trunks had runes that were probably naturally-occurring growing on them and changed colors as the trees walked across the vast green plains, boughs rustling as forest Pokémon crawled among the branches and darted between the mobile trees.

Majestic purple mountains with crystals and rune-encrusted pillars jutting from their sides rose from the landscape, sometimes literally because they were actually active mountain spirits that seemed content to occasionally sprout legs, get up, wander around a bit until they found a spot they liked, and sat back down again. Many of these mountains had magnificent castles and palaces of varying styles and designs that all looked like they had been torn straight from a fairy tale perched somewhere on their peaks or sides, and more castles dotted the rolling hills and green plains of the countryside, surrounded by pastoral-looking villages and towns done up in cheerful colors. Tracks branched off the set they were riding on to lead into those settlements, but the Enchanted Express went down none of them, proceeding straight towards its ultimate destination of Fichina's capital. The myriad towns didn't seem too upset about this, however, and many of their inhabitants rushed up to the side of the tracks and threw up fireworks as the train passed by much like the forts at the border had, filling the air with colorful glowing images of the heroes' faces. They were moving too quickly to get a very good luck at the townsPokémon, but from the glimpses they caught as they went by it looked like they came in a wide variety of colors—many that Pokémon of a given species weren't supposed to have—and had rather fanciful features uncommon to their kind, like wings or scales or feathers or fins or weird-looking eyes.

Some of the aforementioned forests had towns built in the middle of them, and when one of those forests decided to get up and start walking away, it somehow carried the town—and castle!—with it. Some of the other towns were placed on the shores of beautiful shimmering silver lakes, while others still were built right _on_ the lakes, not seeming to care that there was nothing solid for them to stand on top of. Most of these lakes had castles, elaborate rock formations, gleaming crystals, or magnificent coral towers rising from their depths, many of which had holes and lights in them that hinted they might be inhabited. The lakes were fed by rivers that Ekansed through the hills—again, sometimes literally, occasionally shifting about to change their bends or even where the water flowing in them was directed—or streams that were defying gravity by flowing in midair, creating shimmering ribbons of water that zigzagged across the sky before dumping their contents in the lakes and waterfalls that more often than not corkscrewed and spiraled rather than tumbling straight down the 'boring' way. The heroes stared in wonder and disbelief as they passed right under one such airborne river, looking up as numerous colorful aquatic Pokémon swam through it above them, not looking particularly bothered by how impossible what they were doing was. A Golduck wearing a Squirtle shell for some reason glanced down, noticed them, and waved. Wordlessly, they waved back.

Rivers weren't the only impossible things floating above them, however. A number of rune-engraved pillars and crystals were levitating as well, bits of soil and rock revolving around them in mystical patterns. This was, however, by far the _tamest_ thing flipping off the law of gravity, because far higher in the air were entire floating landmasses and castles that looked as if they had gotten bored sitting on the ground and decided to break off the shackles of the earth and go flying for a while. Considering how motile a lot of Fichina's landmarks seemed to be, this wasn't much of a surprise. Many of these floating islands had houses and buildings built on them ranging from looking similar to the ones on the ground to resembling flying palaces and temples that wouldn't look out of place in ancient Greace. Several large and strange-looking cloud formations drifted among these floating islands, and it took the heroes several seconds to realize that they were cities too, crafted completely out of solidified clouds, not unlike Rayquaza's famous Sky Tower. They gawked as winged Pokémon, flying chariots and carriages, balloons and even some fantastical-looking airships went from floating city to city, some even descending towards the ground to visit the settlements below. However, these airborne contrivances weren't always necessary as roads made out of rainbows connected many of the flying cities to each other as well as creating bridges and ramps linking them to the surface. Pokémon could be seen walking on these rainbows despite the fact that rainbows were nothing more than optical and meteorological phenomena it was impossible to even get close to let alone walk on top of. More tracks split off the one they were on and rose into the air at sharp inclines towards these airborne settlements, as unbothered by the laws of gravity as everything in this place seemed to be. As they passed beneath these flying cities, more fireworks as well as cloud formations shaped like their faces appeared in the sky along with skywritten messages saying "Welcome Back!" and "Congratulations!" and things of that nature.

"…Sooooooo pretty," Tiny cooed, eyes bulging out of their armor-rimmed sockets.

"…All right, I admit it: I am genuinely impressed by this place, and that is not something you'll hear me saying often," Briney said finally.

"This…this can't be real! It looks like a place from one of those cartoons my little brother, nieces and nephew, and father watch!" said an incredulous Pikachu.

_I am seeing what you are seeing, Master. So either we are having a shared hallucination, or this place…this _impossible_ place…is real,_ said an amazed Dawn.

"Then this is really happening, isn't it?" Pikachu whispered, a completely uncharacteristic look of childlike wonder and joy appearing briefly on his face. "This place _exists…_and for once, I don't even care that there's no way it _can_ exist, because it's just too beautiful for me to get upset about it."

"Is this…a dream? How…how can a place like this be possible?" whispered an awestruck Sasha.

"Magic," Diane said, raising a hand as lights swirled in it and took on the form of a miniature Beautifly of solid color, which spread its luminescent wings and flittered into the air. Tiny, the sudden movement and bright lights catching his attention, whirled about to stare at the Beautifly as it danced around the room before abruptly transforming into a flower similar to the ones filling the fields outside and dropping into Bow's tentacle, who smiled graciously and stuck it in one of her ribbons. "Fichina has more magic concentrated in this spot than almost any other place on Earth thanks to the great work performed here by the Queen and those ancient mages long ago. As a result, the laws of physics and reality itself are a bit looser and work differently than they do in the outside world, allowing miracles like the things you're seeing outside to happen."

"Amazing…" Pikachu murmured.

"Zere's a downside to this, zough," Fantina said sadly. "Because reality works differently 'ere, zat means all ze incredible zings and astonishing creatures you're seeing can _only_ exist 'ere because zere's just not enough natural magic to sustain zem for long in ze outside world."

Briney blinked. "That's…kind of sad…" Everyone stared at him in disbelief. He glared at them. "Yeah, I'm surprised I think so too. Don't make a big deal out of it, okay?"

Bow nodded as she brushed the flower in her ribbon. "I would love to be able to share many of ze wonders zat exist 'ere wiz ze rest of ze world…but for ze reasons Mama just explained, zat's just not possible. Which is a pity, because if zey could see it maybe zere wouldn't be so many who are still wary of our country's power."

"Or they'd be scared even more due to how many impossible things we seem to be able to do," Butler said. Bow glared at him.

"There are those here who would take the fact that we get to keep so many marvelous things to ourselves as proof of our innate superiority," Diane said, crossing her arms. "They're oblivious to the fact that it could possibly be construed as a cage, since so many of the people here can never leave."

"Awww…" Tiny said.

"And I'm guessing my mother thought the former rather than the latter," Lily said quietly, having never taken her eyes off the panorama outside.

Fantina nodded and floated next to her, extending a spectral tendril around the Misdreavous' 'shoulders.' "She did, and she was not ze only one. And look where zat attitude got 'er. Look where it got _you_." She shook her head sadly and grew another tendril, gesturing grandly at the countryside as they passed it by. "Take a good look at all zis, Lily. Zis is your birzright. Zis is where you should 'ave been unborn and raised, where you should 'ave 'ad a proper childhood and upbringing, made friends, learned to do magic ze right way…" Her face darkened. "All ruined, because of your mozzer's wickedness."

"…That…that may be true," Lily said after a moment, turning reluctantly away from the window to look at her friends. "But if I had lived here…would I have ever met these wonderful friends of mine?"

Fantina blinked in surprise, then burst into a smile. "'eh. No, zere is zat."

"We love you too, Lily," Pikachu said with a warm smile. "Isn't that right, Leo?"

"Oh yeah, definitely!" the Squirtle said without turning from the window as he took shot after shot with his digital camera, doing a fairly good imitation of Todd. "And I love this place too…this is so. Freaking. COOL! It's like every fantasy world I've ever seen in books or TV or video games without all the ugly stuff! Well, I'm assuming without the ugly stuff."

"We have our share of monsters, evil wizards, and nasty things like that," Butler admitted. "But since every citizen of Fichina can use magic we're pretty much all capable of handling problems like that, so for the most part the country is more civilized than most of the ones you're probably thinking of."

"Given the level of magitechnology and architectural style I can see here, I believe it!" Leo said, continuing to take pictures. "Oh mon, this is _so_ going on all my social networking pages! Tracey is going to _shit bricks_ with envy when he sees this!"

The blood drained from Pikachu's face as a horrified realization came to him. He rushed over to Fantina and pulled her aside. "_Tell me_ you have Internet access here," the samurai hissed.

"Wh-why? Is it important?" the Mismagius asked in surprise, quickly shaking her head at Butler, who had been about to snap Pikachu's neck for possibly assaulting his principal.

"Let me put it this way: the last time we got stranded in a place without Internet access, Leo went insane(r) and thought he was a pirate for a few hours. He also kissed Lily out of the blue," Pikachu said.

"Zat last part doesn't sound so bad," Fantina said.

"It's not, except that Lily got spooked and ran off and Leo got drunk off of non-alcoholic beverages and sang a number of bawdy songs very badly. Granted, Lily hooked up with him right after that, but still, it's not an experience I would care to repeat," Pikachu said. "Leo as himself and as a pirate are bad enough, but I _shudder_ to think of what Leo as a wizard or fantasy hero would be like. That is why I absolutely need to know if he can get Internet access here so we can prepare in advance for a meltdown."

Fantina bit her lip. "'is computer probably won't be able to get access to ze wireless transmitters and Internet providers 'e usually uses from 'ere due to interference from ze magical energy field…" Pikachu's face went white with dread at this, and Fantina quickly rushed to reassure him. "But! _But!_ We can get around zat. If we install a few crystal transponders and magitech components in 'is computer, it will allow 'im access to ze magical network we use for our version of ze Internet, and zhrough zat 'e should be able to link up to ze rest of ze world zhrough a series of relays."

Pikachu sagged in relief. "Oh, thank _Arceus._ Can you do it now?"

"No, ze components are very complex, and I'm not familiar enough wiz zem to just make zem out of zin air," Fantina apologized. "But zere are plenty of places in Fichina where we can do it. Actually, one of my daughters should be able to 'andle it, she's always been good wiz technology."

"Good. Good. That's very good," Pikachu said, sounding a little manic. "You have no idea how big a hassle you've just saved us. I think meeting you is one of the best things that's ever happened to us, and considering how much crap we've gone through on this journey, you have no idea how happy that makes me." Without warning, he hugged her. Fantina blinked, dumbfounded. Dawn raised an eyebrow. Tiny squealed. Briney gave him a thumb's-up. Sasha stared blankly. Lily was confused. Bow and Diane giggled. Butler gave Fantina a questioning look, but she shook her head, much to his annoyance. Leo continued taking pictures. Finally, Pikachu let go of her, said, "_Thank you_," and walked away.

"…Well, zat was weird," Fantina said.

"Lily! Lily! Quick, take a picture of me with Fichina in the background!" Leo cried, flinging his camera at Lily, who squeaked in alarm and fumbled to catch it with her prehensile hair.

"I-I have no idea how to use this thing!" she stammered in alarm, regarding the camera as if it were some strange and incomprehensible artifact of doom.

"Just point it at whatever you want to take a picture of—namely, me-and press the button on top, it's simple!" Leo said.

"O-okay…" Lily said nervously, raising the camera.

Pikachu frowned, realizing something was off. "Wait a minute, she's-"

"Let her do it, this'll be good for a laugh," Briney interjected before Pikachu could warn Lily. Pikachu shot an annoyed frown at the Metang.

"I think I'm ready," Lily said, looking as if she was anything but.

"Great!" Leo said, making a cheesy grin and sticking both his thumbs in the air. "Now, push the button…WAIT!"

Lily yelped, Leo's sudden shout causing her to fumble and nearly drop the camera. "Wh-what is it?"

"If I'm getting my picture taken, I need to look appropriate for the setting!" Leo pulled his head in his shell and came back out a second later wearing a tall blue pointed hat with stars and moons decorating the sides. "There, now I look like a wizard!"

"Yeah, from a cartoon, maybe…" Pikachu muttered.

Diane frowned. "You should probably take that off when we get to the capitol, and make sure not to wear it where anyone can see you. Only certified wizards are allowed to wear hats like that."

Pikachu did a double-take. "Wait, you mean real wizards actually wear hats like that?"

Diane nodded. "Of course, how else would you know they were wizards?" Pikachu's eye twitched.

Leo frowned. "Could I get in trouble for wearing this?"

"Considering you don't have any magic nor have you passed the certification exam at any of our nation's magical academies, I would say so," Butler said gravely. "Impersonating a wizard on Fichinan soil carries severe penalties."

"How severe are we talking here? Like, a fate worse than death, or some jail time, or what?" Leo asked.

"Two weeks of community service cleaning floors," Fantina said.

Leo made a face. "Oh. Well, could be worse."

"Wiz your tongue," Fantina finished.

Leo blanched. "…Ah. Right. Well, after we take this picture, you'll never see this hat again, okay?"

"Well, I suppose," Fantina said.

"Great!" Leo got back in his pose. "Lily, take the shot…WAIT!"

Lily yelped, Leo's sudden shout causing her to fumble and nearly drop the camera. "Wh-what is it?"

Pikachu sighed in exasperation. "Yes Leo, what is it now?"

"I may have the hat, but to complete the look, I need…" The Squirtle retracted his head into his shell, and came back wearing… "A BEARD!" Pikachu stared for a long minute at the false gray beard dangling from Leo's chin and facepalmed. Briney was struggling not to laugh.

Bow made a face. "Uh…"

Leo's face fell. "Oh, come on! Don't tell me it's illegal to wear fake beards, too!"

"No, it's not," Bow said. "It's just…ze one you're wearing is really ugly."

"Oh," Leo said, making a face. "Whatever. Lily, take the shot!" He quickly got back into his pose. There was a pause. Leo frowned. "Lily, what are you waiting for? I said take the shot!"

"I was expecting you to stop me at the last second because you wanted to put something else on, so I thought I'd just wait for you to do that rather than be surprised," Lily said.

"Oh," Leo said. "Well…good thought, but not necessary this time. Just take the shot!"

"All right," Lily said, pushing the button on top of the camera. There was a flash of light…

Right in her eyes, because the poor girl had been pointing it in her face. She cried out in alarm and flung the camera into the air. "My eyes!"

"My camera!" Leo shouted in horror, diving across the floor to try and catch it before it hit the ground and broke.

"Got it," Briney said, catching the falling camera in one claw. Leo hit the ground face-first beneath the Metang. Briney, who actually knew how a camera worked, took a picture, and then put it on the ground next to Leo. "You make a very nice wizard, lad."

"You suck," Leo muttered through his face full of carpet and fake beard.

"Huh! Some gratitude. See if I save your gizmos again," Briney huffed as he floated away.

Bow chuckled as a concerned Lily floated over to help Lily up while Pikachu shook his head in exasperation, Sasha and Tiny looked on in confusion, and Dawn facepalmed. "Now _zat's _weird."

…

The next couple of hours as they traveled across Fichina were relatively uneventful, save for the increased number of amazing magical spectacles they bore witness to on their journey. They rode across the surface of an inland sea whose surface was so clear they could see a vast underwater metropolis beneath them and the leviathan forms of some of the aquatic creatures that dwelled there before going up at a ninety degree angle along the shaft of a waterfall that was flowing upwards past a pod of flying Wailord that had stopped there for a drink. They rode across a massive canyon on a bridge made of solid light which constructed itself ahead of them and faded in their wake, while giant Huntails poked their heads out of holes in the chasm walls, with what looked like the gulfs of space rather than a river or a canyon floor beneath their fragile bridge. They wove their way through the legs of a herd of migrating mountain spirits and between the trees of a moving forest as fairies and woodland creatures peeked out of the branches, or in some cases the tree trunks. They ventured through tunnels deep underground, lit by glowing crystals and the eyes of subterranean creatures larger than most cities. They watched in awe and confusion as an egg-shaped rock formation cracked open to reveal a small castle with Spinarak legs, which scurried about, pennants waving happily while two much larger castles (its parents?) observed from nearby. They rode up into the sky cities on a pathway formed by the roofs and upper surfaces of airships as Flying Pokémon and winged Pokémon that didn't usually have wings flew by, waving in bemusement at the stunned passengers. They witnessed a volcano erupting in reverse, smoke and fire and streams of lava flowing back up the mountain's slopes and into its crater, the skies clearing as the ashen plains spontaneously burst into flame and transformed back into verdant meadows and forests. They passed through a forest that seemed to be experiencing Spring, Summer, Autumn, and Winter all at once, with a giant tree shaped like a clock growing from the middle of the woods, its hand-like branches frozen in time and thus keeping the surrounding environs from changing seasons. They traveled through barren plains with giant crystals with inlaid patterns looking like circuit boards growing from the ground, shooting lightning bolts into the cloudy skies as fairy lights that looked like compressed spheres of mathematical equations made of light darted about. They saw an ancient abandoned city of phenomenal size carved out of a single piece of marble without a single crack in it. They crossed a battlefield where cyborg mummies with giant steampunk wheeled pyramids were waging war against an army of zombie ninjas riding tanks and motorcycles that looked like they were from hundreds of years in the future. They passed among the shattered ruins of what looked like stone titans even bigger than the Colossi, towns and forests and castles and all sorts of growing things sprouting from their remains. At one point a great flight of Dragon Pokémon soared overhead, heading towards a giant Torterra in the distance carrying a city on its back instead of a tree. They saw a number of wizarding schools with whole classes out in force to see them go by and send up fireworks, and contrary to the popular image portrayed by the Larry Ceramicist series, not all of them were big rambling old castles, quite a few looked like regular schools, only with standing stones and geoglyphs and floating buildings in place of the more pedestrian flagpole or athletics field or temporary classrooms. They even climbed through some icy mountains startlingly reminiscent of Niflheim, complete with some of the indigenous monsters, but nothing attacked them, and no frost giants appeared. (They had probably gotten the memo on what had happened to their brethren that had dared to fight the passengers on that train, and decided it wasn't worth the trouble.)

All these wonders and more they witnessed as they traveled through Fichina, Leo filling up no less than three memory cards taking pictures on his camera and getting pretty close to finishing a fourth. Had they stopped at any one of the sites mentioned above, they could have easily gotten themselves involved in an adventure that would be long enough to fill up several more chapters in this story, but since they were in a bit of a rush to get somewhere, they just passed through, leaving the questing to more local heroes, something those heroes would no doubt be grateful for if they were aware how close they had come to getting cheated out of a job. They passed lots of other Pokémon and creatures resembling Pokémon but not quite and many different forms of transportation, including airships and carriages and giant quadrupeds and boats and cars and even a few other trains, all of which gave the Enchanted Express some form of acknowledgement as they went by, showing their appreciation for what the heroes had accomplished and welcoming them to Fichina and all its magical marvels.

And as the Sun started getting somewhat low in the sky and the heroes started growing weary again, they found that Fichina still had a few more wonders left to show them as they briefly passed through a tunnel going through a mountain and came out on the other side to find themselves, at last, in the capital of New Avalon, one of the most amazing cities any of them—even the well-traveled Briney or Dawn—had ever seen. The city was in a valley framed on three sides by tall mountains and the ocean on the fourth, for they had reached the coast without realizing it. Most of the valley floor was taken up by a bay stretching inland from the sea, with just about every scrap of land and quite a bit of the mountain's slopes covered by buildings of all shapes and sizes. These were constructed in a variety of styles from around the world, including medieval Ameroupean, ancient Greak, Pokégyptian, Mesopokémotanian, Mesoameroupean, Japonese, modern, and a variety of others that looked completely alien to them (possibly literally). Castles and palaces competed for space with pyramids, ziggurats, domes, stadiums, cupolas, spinnerets, towers, and more made of stone and brick and crystal and wood and flesh and ice and metal and light and coral and cake and all sorts of other exotic materials in so many different colors the entire visual spectrum was represented, including a few that weren't normally visible to the naked eye. Multicolored smoke rose from countless chimneys and smokestacks, but seemed to dissipate into nothingness above a certain point so as to not pollute the city and blot out the perfect blue sky. Parks large enough not only to house forests but entire _jungles_ cut out large swaths of the city, with trees taller than some of the surrounding towers rising from the ground. In many places the greenery wasn't confined to parks, and buildings and streets were covered in grass and trees and flowers and vines, looking like the sort of ancient lost city you'd find in a jungle, except this one was still in use.

Vineyards, terrace gardens, waterfalls, crystals, standing stones, geoglyphs, and numerous artistically crafted and positioned statues and mansions and palaces dotted much of the mountainsides, with slightly less artistic but still quite fashionable residences positioned in layers below them going down towards the city proper. Each of the mountains was topped by a massive (though not as big as a Colossus) statue of a legendary Pokémon, with Mew, Lugia, Ho-Oh, Mesprit, Azelf, Uxie, Dialga, Palkia, Victini, Reshiram, Zekrom, Kyurem, Rayquaza, and the Guardians of Light and Hope all represented. The statues were in full color and texture to look like the real things, rather than just big stone replicas.

Above the city, several floating islands and clouds carrying mansions, palaces, and other very ornate and impressive-looking buildings floated in place among levitating crystals and rune-encrusted pillars, airships and balloons and flying chariots and winged Pokémon traveling between the structures. Above the bay was an especially large island with enough buildings on it to count as a small town, with a small forest and lake fed by a rotating cycle of rain clouds being produced by a nearby weather factory constructed of clouds with waterfalls pouring off the edge and down to the bay below. A smaller island rose slightly above and behind this one, connected to the inhabited one by a long stone staircase and dominated by a statue of Arceus at least half again as tall as the others, with a wheel looking as if it were made from actual gold rotating around his midsection, seventeen colored crystals with elemental glyphs carved on them floating in a ring around them to symbolize His Plates. All the other statues were within line of sight of the one of Arceus. Rainbow bridges arced up from the mouths of the statues to converge on the island connected to the one the Arceus statue was on.

The bay was full of activity and life as well. Beautiful structures and sculptures made of stone and coral and crystal rose from the depths. Boats and ships of various styles and makes sailed across the water, or in some cases just above it. A number of buildings were literally built right on top of the water, either constructed of more conventional materials like the ones on dry land or made of water that had somehow been made solid without turning to ice. A number of islands, some artificial and others not, dotted the bay, with larger ones placed further out to sea, with manors and statues and small parks growing on top of them, sometimes literally. Domes and domiciles made of coral could be visible just under the surface of the water, indicating that the densely populated areas of the city didn't stop at the water's edge. Out in the distance, past the furthest island in the sea, were the heads and upper torsos of some of the marine Colossi they had been told about, somewhat resembling aquatic Pokémon with fins and tentacles and claws, standing tall to protect the capital from invasion by sea.

In the center of the bay was a large island completely covered by a beautiful white castle that looked as if it had been taken straight from a fairytale or Diz-Nee movie, with gold and blue-tipped spires and towers and turrets and domes rising at least the height of a Colossus into the sky, their tips just barely reaching the same level as the underside of the island with Arceus' statue on it. Giant stained glass windows depicting feats of great magic and strange arcane signs covered the castle's myriad walls and keep. Angelic gargoyles perched on roofs and ledges to watch over the city spread out below them. Four sides of the castle's central keep were dominated by a statue of the upper torso of a crowned Gothitelle with its hands clasped and slightly outstretched before its chest to form a balcony, with a giant clock made of stained glass placed right above it that didn't look as if it were keeping the same time as a regular clock considering that there were more than twelve or even twenty-four numbers on the faces (none of which looked the slightest bit familiar)and at least six hands on each clock. Each Gothitelle statue was holding a giant sword made of some strange crystalline metal pointed upright and shimmering with all the colors of the rainbow. Actually, the whole castle seemed to be shimmering, or at the very least looked like it was made from a different kind of matter than the rest of the city. Much like everything in Fichina looked somehow 'realer' than the outside world did, the castle looked even 'realer' than the city it was surrounded by, as if it was the only true thing in this place and everything else, including the whole world, were some kind of illusion in comparison.

"Um. Wow," Leo said, uncharacteristically lost for words, his camera held slack in his hands.

"Okay, I'm impressed again," Briney said grudgingly. There was a sad look in his eye. "You know, I was planning to take Peeko and our kid here after she'd given birth and the egg hatched. That…plan fell through, as you might recall." He sighed and lowered the brim of his hat over his eye. "I always meant to come here someday…never got around to it until now, I guess."

"I take back what I said earlier about wishing I'd never left home. If I had not, I could never have seen anything like this," Sasha whispered.

"This place _really_ takes the cake," said an awestruck Pikachu.

_Indeed. I have been to many cities in many places, but none quite like this,_ Dawn agreed.

"Why must everything be so shiny?" Tiny screeched.

"To look good for the tourists, of course," Butler said.

"That and the tremendous outpouring of magical energy caused by the convergence of the ley lines having a subtle effect on how we perceive everything around us due to an altered state of reality," Diane said.

"I didn't understand any of that, I just know it's shiny," Tiny said, not taking his eyes off the windows.

"What do you zink, Lily?" Fantina gently asked Lily.

The Misdreavus was tearing up. "I never imagined a place like this could ever exist somewhere in the world…how could Mother have chosen evil when doing so meant turning her back on all _this?_"

"I zink she actually turned to evil because she _wanted_ zis," Fantina said sadly. "As 'eir to ze title of Duchess, she was next in line to ze zhrone should anyzing 'appen to 'er Magisty. 'Owever, considering ze Queen is virtually immortal and unkillable, zere was little chance of zat ever 'appening, so she figured if she could become stronger zan ze Queen she could take over Fichina and usher in a new age of magical might enveloping ze whole world."

"Except Mama stopped 'er, and she got kicked out forever," Bow said smugly.

Fantina nodded. "And now ze affection she once felt for her 'omeland 'as turned to 'atred…and she desires nozing more zan to wipe zis place off ze face of ze Earzh, for she believes zat if she cannot 'ave it, zen no one can."

"I thought she wanted lots of things. Like you dead. And a global Ice Age. And Giratina getting released," Tiny said.

Fantina chuckled. "It was a figure of speech, darling."

"Oh, okay," the Pupitar said, going back to staring stupefied out the window.

"Oh, _damn…_magical energy readings are off the charts…" Leo, who had donned his sunglasses, observed. "There's so much of it here, I wouldn't be surprised if some of the stuff out there was actually solid magic! And it's all radiating from that big castle, which I'm guessing is not only where the Queen lives, but where the ley lines she and those mages redirected nine hundred years ago converge?"

Bow nodded. "Precisely. Ze castle was built right on top of ze center of ze convergence to better 'arness its power. It may look a bit excessive, but it was constructed zat way to maximize ze amount of energy it can draw from ze ley lines and ze Queen and broadcast it across Fichina."

"Then…that would explain why I feel so much stronger here," Lily murmured. "My magic more powerful than I've ever felt it before…"

Fantina nodded. "Indeed, but be warned zat ze power boost is not permanent. It will go back down to your regular levels ze furzer you get from ze capital. If you want to become stronger and stay zat way, you'll 'ave to do it ze 'ard way."

Lily nodded in understanding. "I thought as much. I didn't really think it would be that easy."

"When is it ever?" Pikachu asked wryly. "So, what's the big deal with all those statues? Can they come to life too, like the Colossi?"

"They can, but that's just their secondary function. They're also temples to the gods they're built in the shape of," Butler said.

Pikachu blinked. "…The _statues_ are temples?"

Diane nodded. "Yes, they're hollow inside." She made a face. "And you can probably guess where the entrance to the Temple of Mew is…"

"Where?" Tiny asked innocently. Everyone exchanged awkward looks, coughed, and decided to pretend he hadn't said anything.

"Then while we're here, I suppose I should find time to pay my respects at the Temple of Arceus," Pikachu said, looking up at the floating island.

Dawn nodded. _And I at Rayquaza's._

"I don't see any temple for Darkrai…" Sasha murmured, glancing at the mountains.

_For some reason, people apparently get creeped out by having a giant statue of me looming over and casting my shadow on them for some reason,_ Darkrai grumbled. _I have a temple still—they wouldn't _dare_ not build me one—but it's down in the city kind of out of the way and doesn't get nearly as much attention as it deserves. But now that you're here, my High Priestess, maybe we can change that…_

Sasha sweatdropped. "Wonderful…"

"So, where do you live?" Tiny, somewhat miffed nobody had answered his previous question, asked Fantina, peering at all the many magnificent structures and residences lying beneath them as the train drove down the mountainside towards the city proper.

Fantina snorted. "Where _don't_ I live is a better question. As Duchess, I 'ave quite a few residences. I 'ave a place down in ze city, ze ducal quarters in ze Queen's palace, a small apartment in ze Temple of Mew, a villa on ze same island as ze Temple of Arceus, ze family estate on ze countryside, and…a few ozzer places I can't zink of off ze top of my 'ead. Butler, 'ow many 'ouses do I 'ave?"

The Dusclops held up a metal ring with at least two dozen keys dangling from it. "As many as I have keys here. I think."

Fantina nodded. "Yeah, zat's what I zought."

"Coooool," Tiny said. "So which place will we be staying at?"

"All of zem," Fantina said.

They gave her a confused look. "…What, are we going to be moving around a lot or something?" Pikachu asked with a frown.

"No, it's just zat all of my 'omes 'ave magical doors linking zem togezzer," Fantina explained. "So when you're staying at one, it's easy enough to travel to all of zem wiz very little effort."

"Hence the need for all these keys," Butler said, shaking his keyring demonstratively.

"…That is so _cool!_" Leo gushed.

_Which of your residences has the Star Badge?_ Dawn asked.

Leo blinked. "Oh yeah, that thing. Almost forgot that's what we came here for in the first place."

"I didn't," Briney bragged.

"Nobody asked you, Briney," Pikachu said.

"…Well, you _should've_," Briney growled, folding his arms.

"Zat would be ze family estate," Fantina said. "If we 'ave time before ze celebration, I zink we could stop by zere and grab ze Badge, if zat's what you'd like."

"Celebration? What celebration?" Sasha asked in surprise.

"Pssht, 'what celebration?' she asks?" Leo snorted. "We just got here after a harrowing journey that involved kicking a shitload of Nihilator and Niflheim ass, carrying information that could change the world. Why _wouldn't_ there be a celebration?"

Fantina nodded. "'e's right. As you've gazzered by now, I'm sort of a national 'eroine, so my return after a series of battles like ze ones we just participated in are usually cause for a big party."

"…I do not like the sound of that…" Sasha murmured uneasily.

"I do! We deserve a party after everything we've been through! Hey, does that mean we're national heroes, too?" Leo asked giddily.

"I suppose so," Fantina said with a chuckle.

"_Sweet!_ So do we get statues? And portraits? And stained glass windows, and maybe some buildings named after us, and-" Leo babbled.

"I think you're getting a little ahead of yourself there, Leo," Pikachu said.

The Squirtle stuck his tongue out. "Says you!"

"Yes, I do," Pikachu replied, not Zubatting an eye. Leo scowled.

"A…party? Um…that'll be…nice…" Lily said hesitantly.

"Don't worry, babe, it'll be fine!" Leo assured her. "And if anyone gives you trouble, just call us and we'll beat the crap out of them!"

"What if they're archwizards who could turn you into Poliwags?" Diane asked.

"Then we'll have Briney do it, since he doesn't care about that sort of thing. Or we'll call Fantina for help," Leo said.

Briney nodded. "He's right, I wouldn't care."

"And I would most certainly 'elp," Fantina asserted.

"So you see? Everything's cool," Leo said.

Lily smiled gratefully. "Thank you, Leo. That's very good to hear." Maybe this would work out after all.

Tiny, who had turned his gaze outside once more, frowned, a thought suddenly occurring to him. He scanned the swiftly approaching cityscape below them, glanced up at the busy skies above them, and then glanced back the way they had come. "Uh, guys?"

"What is it, Tiny?" Pikachu asked, glancing at the Pupitar.

"Um…the city looks pretty crowded, and so does the sky," Tiny said.

Bow nodded regretfully. "Yes, zat's one of ze downsides of New Avalon. Real estate costs a ridiculous amount since zere really isn't zat much cheap land left to build anyzing new, and zere's always a lot of traffic, zough if you can teleport zat's not really a problem." Fantina fidgeted but said nothing.

"Right," Tiny said. "So…where are we going to put the ships?"

There was a pause. "The ships?" Pikachu asked after a moment.

"Yeah. You know, the big Nihilator battleships that are following us on autopilot?" Tiny asked.

There was a horrified silence. "Oh, _shit,_" Leo swore as he reached into his shell and fumbled about for his remote control.

"We forgot the ships? _We forgot the ships!" _ Pikachu cried.

"Coulda toldja," Briney said.

"Then _why didn't you?_" Pikachu demanded.

"…Shut up…" Briney grumbled.

As Leo frantically searched his shell, everyone else looked out the window and back up the mountain. Much to their alarm, they could already see the noses of several of the ships peeking over the mountains, heading directly towards some of the statues standing on the peaks, and since they were on autopilot and didn't have any collision avoidance systems online due to said systems getting fried during the violent takeover of the vessels, if something wasn't done quickly they would crash into the temples. Some of the city Pokémon noticed this, and several flyers started changing course to intercept the ships while mages appeared around the bases and tops of the temples in flashes of light, but it didn't look as if they were going to be able to stop them in time.

"How could we possibly forget those things?" Pikachu wondered incredulously. "Especially considering how many of them we destroyed this morning?"

"Well, considering everything we've seen since getting to Fichina, I suppose it's understandable that they might have slipped our minds…" Sasha said.

"What I want to know is why they haven't crashed into anything else, considering how many other tall things we've run into that they apparently aren't smart enough to move around," Briney mused.

_Most of those were intelligent enough to get out of the way in time. I don't think that's an option here,_ Dawn said.

"Oh dear…if zose zings crash, zere'll be a lot of damage and a _lot_ of angry mages…" Fantina murmured.

"Leo, hurry!" Lily cried anxiously.

"I know, I know! Hold on…aha! Found it!" Leo said, popping back out of his shell with his remote control.

"Quickly! Stop zose ships before zey crash!" Bow cried.

"Right! This should just take a second…" Leo focused on the device in his hand, tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth as he input a sequence of commands on the control's interface. "Aaaaand…there! That should do it!"

They looked out the window. The ships were still moving forward. "It didn't work!" Tiny yelled.

"Hang on, give it a second…" Leo said nervously, pressing another series of buttons just to be safe. "Any second now…come on, come on, _come on…"_

The ships' engines flared and then diminished as their thrust decreased, rockets sprouting from the hull and firing their exhaust forwards to slow down the vessels. With a rumble that shook the mountains and caused more than a few of the Pokémon gathered around the temples to faint in terror, the warships decelerated and gradually came to a halt, hovering in the air only meters away from the temples. An audible sigh of relief echoed through the car as a weight lifted from all their shoulders…

Until abruptly one of the ships' engines flickered to life for a split-second, propelling it forwards and causing it to bump into the back of the Ho-Oh temple's head, knocking it off its neck and causing it to plummet towards the city below. Everyone's jaws dropped in horror. "LEO!" Pikachu shouted.

"On it!" Leo yelled, frantically inputting another sequence of buttons. Hatches opened on the undersides of the ships and projected blue energy fields at the falling head, wrapping around the stone cranium and causing it to halt in midair. "Yatta! Tractor beams for the win! And it's a good thing I remembered to re-reverse the polarity so they weren't repulsors anymore, or else I probably would have sent that thing flying straight into the big castle by accident, which I don't think would have endeared us to the Queen very much."

"No, it wouldn't 'ave," Fantina agreed.

"Good job, Leo…except for the fact that you CAUSED THE PROBLEM IN THE FIRST PLACE!" Briney bellowed in the Squirtle's earhole, causing him to flinch in pain.

"It wasn't my fault!" Leo protested. "It was a freak engine malfunction. It had nothing to do with me! I set the things to shut down, that one's systems must have taken a little too much damage in the battle earlier or something so took a bit longer to process my command."

"And I'm sure everyone in the city will be perfectly willing to believe that explanation?" Pikachu asked.

"…Oh, fuck," Leo moaned.

_No, they won't believe that explanation,_ Dawn said. _They _will_ believe, however, that it was a last-ditch attempt by the Nihilators to cause some degree of chaos and pandemonium in the event that their ships were seized by their enemies, triggered by a sleeper program once they were over a populated area, and foiled in the nick of time before anyone could get hurt by Leo's quick thinking and programming skills._

"Why would they believe that?" Tiny asked in confusion.

"Because that's exactly what we're going to tell them," Pikachu said. "Congratulations, Leo, you just saved the lives of hundreds of people from a fiendish Nihilator plot."

"…I did? Er, I mean, yes, of course I did, because I am a hero! Yatta!" Leo shouted, quickly striking a pose while laughing nervously.

"Um…good job, Leo. You, er, saved the day?" Lily said uncertainly, feeling very awkward.

"You bet I did! Take that, Nihilator scum! You aren't killing any of Fichina's people while Leo DeKappa is on the case!" Leo bragged, his confidence rising.

"Bah," Briney said.

"And I will pay for ze repairs to ze temple to 'elp smoozh zings over," Fantina said.

Bow nodded. "It'll be expensive and it'll mean we won't be very welcome around Ho-Oh's place for a while, but…well, at least it wasn't _Mew's_ temple…"

"Oh no, you don't need to do that, Goldor can take care of it," Leo said.

Fantina frowned. "Why would 'e do zat?"

"Because that's his ship up there that just crashed into the temple, of course," Briney said.

"What are you talking about? Goldor never seized any ships," said the puzzled Sasha.

"No, but he bought that one off of some of the others so he could take credit for capturing it and look like a bigger hero, as well as getting the chance to refurbish it for use in his company," Leo said with a grin. "And since it was his ship that did the damage…"

"Then it's his responsibility to pay for it," Pikachu said, starting to grin as well.

"But I thought it was a Nihilator plot," said the confused Tiny. "Except that it wasn't."

"Yes, but it was his ship, so if he doesn't pay for repairs to the temple his public image will suffer and he'll get in major trouble with the religious community," Butler chuckled.

Diane smirked. "Bet he's regretting making that purchase now."

Elsewhere in the train, Goldor shivered. "Why do I get the feeling that I am about to lose an exorbitant amount of money?"

"Because you're going to let me borrow several hundred thousand Poké for a shopping excursion once things settle down and we get a chance to go touring?" Silvia asked.

"No…more than that…" Goldor murmured, wondering where this feeling of unease was coming from.

"Hey Dad, isn't that your ship up there that knocked Ho-Oh's temple's head off?" Buck asked, looking out the window.

"WHAT?" Goldor shoved Buck out of the way and stared out the window in horror, his businessmon's mind quickly putting together connections and making it clear what the cause of his sense of imminent profit loss was. "No. No! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Outside the train, riding on Lugia's back, Ash stared back at the damaged temple incredulously, his ears twitching as he thought he could hear the sound of someone screaming in anguish nearby. "…You know, I'm starting to wonder if I should have stayed in the train after all. Then maybe I could have stopped whatever just happened from happening."

"It's far more likely that it would have happened anyway, given what you've told me of your teammates," Lugia said, shaking his head incredulously.

"That's true," Ash agreed. "Oh well, at least it wasn't your temple that got decapitated, right?"

"Indeed, for if it were, I would be very, _very_ angry…" Lugia growled. Ash gulped.

Back in the train, Bruno found himself very relieved that he'd taken that deal Goldor offered him and sold him the ship he and Looker had captured. "Easiest five million Poké I ever made," he mused.

And in his own compartment, oblivious or apathetic to everything going on outside, Brodie stared down at the city and wondered if, once they got there, someone would finally, _finally_ remember to feed him.

…

Several minutes later, the Enchanted Express pulled into New Avalon's train station to a hero's welcome. The marble floor of the indoor platform was packed with what had to be hundreds of eager Pokémon wearing robes and gowns and the latest in Fichinan fashion, commoners and nobles and wizards and paparazzi alike all jostling each other for the best view of the inbound train as it smoothly rode through the grand archway in the back wall and passed beneath chandeliers and elaborate frescoes and between statues of magnates and industrial giants who had helped establish the nation's rail transportation system before coming to a screeching halt before the gleaming gold bumpers positioned at the end of the track on the far side of the room beneath a benignly smiling statue of the Queen with her arms opened wide in welcome. Steam and multicolored smoke rose from the train's vents and joints to brush across the colorful mosaics of magical trains chugging through strange and mystical terrains and landscapes covering the domed ceiling.

When the doors on the sides of the train cars slid open and the passengers stumbled out, blinking blearily, they were immediately overwhelmed by the roar from the crowd as the gathered Pokémon shouted and cheered and hundreds of flashbulbs went off as photographers took pictures and miniature magical fireworks exploded in the air and banners and floating lights with words of welcome and congratulations written on them floated in the air and wisps and fairies and sprites danced through the arches and vaults above them, glittering dust falling in their wake. Lily cringed and Sasha tensed, hackles rising. She never had been good with crowds. Leo, naturally, was hamming it up, yelling and waving and striking poses, much to the consternation of the others. Zippo, of course, was doing the same thing, much to the annoyance of _his _teammates.

However, the cheers of the crowd grew even louder and more overwhelming when Lugia glided through the archway, wings folded to his side so he could fit through the entrance, and alighted on top of the train, wings spread and head thrown back dramatically. Ash slid off the sea god's back and landed next to his friends, a cheeky grin on his face. "Hey guys. Miss me?"

Pikachu shook his head in bemusement. "Oh, Ash…"

"Heh, nice entrance!" Leo joked.

"Daddy!" Tiny squealed, tackling his father joyfully.

"Hey, kiddo! Have a nice train ride?" Ash asked, hugging the Pupitar.

"Yeah! Did you have a nice flight?" Tiny asked.

"Totally! You wouldn't _believe_ the stuff I saw!" Ash paused and reconsidered his statement. "Well, maybe you would, since you saw it too."

"That we did," Sasha said.

Ash frowned. "So, uh, what was the deal with that ship crashing into the Ho-Oh statue?" Ash asked.

"A last-ditch attempt by the Nihilators to cause some degree of chaos and pandemonium in the event that their ships were seized by their enemies, triggered by a sleeper program once they were over a populated area, foiled in the nick of time before anyone could get hurt by Leo's quick thinking and programming skills," Pikachu recited.

Ash blinked and smiled at Leo. "Really? Wow, nice job!"

"Heh-heh, yeah, totally!" Leo said as the others fidgeted.

"Heh. Nice entrance," Ritchie commented from a car down, looking at Ash and Lugia.

"You jealous?" Zippo needled.

"Nah, I'm cool with it," Ritchie said, meaning it this time. Zippo scowled, disappointed, while the rest of the team nodded approvingly.

"We made it…" Dean, who had come out of the same car as Team Aurabolt with Bob, murmured. "We're actually here in Fichina…I was starting to think we'd never make it here."

"But we did, thanks to the help of everyone on this train," Bob said, nodding at their many friends and allies. "And thanks to them, we may carry out our Master's last wish…and save the Mistress!"

"Hahaha! Yeah! Get a load of this! When I signed on for this job, I didn't think we'd be lauded heroes! Pretty sweet turnout, don't you think?" Bruno laughed as he struck lots of poses while Palmer crossed his arms and scanned the crowd for any possible threats. Not that he thought there would be any, but you didn't get to be a Master Ninja by letting your guard down.

"Yeah…" Looker grumbled morosely, wondering how he was going to report his failure to his superiors.

George leaned against the side of the car and scanned the crowd for any sign of Sam. She found herself oddly relieved when she didn't see him anywhere. Maybe he and Outlaw had gotten lost or ran away so as not to have to deal with losing the bet, and she'd never have to see them again. Though that was probably too optimistic a thought…

Silvia squealed in delight. "Oh! Oh my! Just look at all these people who've come to welcome us! And so many of them are extremely wealthy and fashionable too! Oh, this is just wonderful, isn't it Goldor?"

"Wonderful? Wonderful? What's so wonderful about all the money I've lost today, first on that stupid warship and now to fix up the temple it crashed into?" Goldor bellowed furiously.

"Well!" Silvia gasped, upset that Goldor was behaving like this in public where so many fashionable and influential people could see them arguing.

"Dad, it's not like you can't afford it," Buck pointed out.

"It's the principle of the matter, son! I expected to make money on this trip, not _lose_ it!" Goldor growled in frustration.

"Huh. We really made it, didn't we…we're all here, safe and sound," Rebecca said in amazement as she idly waved to the countless Pokémon who'd shown up to welcome them to Fichina.

"Except for Dominick…" Cherry said a little sadly.

"Yeah, but…look, if it weren't for your predictions, there's a chance none of us would've made it here, or at the very least we'd have lost a few more Pokémon than we did," Rebecca said, trying to cheer her friend up. "And besides, we got Bitey here out of it, so it's not like our numbers are any lower than they were before today."

"That's right!" the Gastly said, licking his phantasmal lips. "So, when do we eat?" Cherry couldn't help giggling at that, and neither could Rebecca. Brodie, who was still inside and even more hungry, did not.

"Hahaha! Just look at all those other photographers out there, taking pictures…little do they know that I've got them all beat, and with the pictures I've taken over this trip, I'll soon be a hero too in the field of journalism!" Todd laughed triumphantly. "And to think, my mom said I'd never amount to anything! Well I sure showed her, didn't I?"

From the side of the engine car, the engineers stared in wonder at the huge crowd. "Wow…just look at all these people…here to see us!" said the amazed Rono. "And best of all, there's not a sign of that stupid robot car anywhere, which means we won the race and the bet! Haha! Yes! Not only am I not a slave, but I get a cool car, too!"

"Can I ride in it?" Coil asked hopefully.

"Eh, I'll think about it," Rono said coyly, much to the Magneton's annoyance.

"Settle down, boys. While I'm glad we won the race, it was a stupid thing for you to get us into, because it could very easily have gone very wrong," the chief engineer said with a scowl.

Rono lowered his head. "Y-you're right. Sorry, chief." He perked up. "But still, I won, which means it's all worth it in the end, isn't it?"

His superior shook her head in annoyance. "If you say so. Anyway, don't let the crowd go to your head, keep in mind that they aren't here to see us, they're here to see _them_," the Ampharos said, gesturing at the passengers. "We're just staff. They're the real heroes."

Rono frowned, realizing the truth in this. "Hey, we did our fair share of the hard work, too," Coil said.

"And you think anyone's going to remember that, considering we aren't celebrities or superstars like the others?" the Ampharos said cynically.

"They may not, but we certainly will," a familiar voice said.

"And even if the rest of the world doesn't regard you as heroes, we certainly will!" another voice said.

The three engineers gasped and stood to attention as a Chandelure in a black jacket and cap and an Eelektross in an identical white jacket and cap approached them. "M-Mr. Subway and Mr. Subway! Sir! It's an honor to see you!" the Ampharos said, saluting.

The Chandelure, Ingo, one of the two heads of the company that owned the Enchanted Express and was responsible for making sure all the trains in Fichina ran on time, chuckled. "At ease, Miss Sparkler, you don't need to bother with the formalities, especially after everything you've been through."

"Y-yes sir!" the newly named Ampharos said giddily, trying not to salute out of reflex.

"…Your name is Sparkler?" Coil asked incredulously.

"Shut it!" Sparkler hissed out of the corner of her mouth.

"My brother and I have been paying close attention to your adventure and monitoring your progress from the home office," Emmet the Eelektross, Ingo's brother and second of the two heads of the company that owned the Enchanted Express and was responsible for making sure all the trains in Fichina ran on time, informed the engineers. "And I must say, we're very impressed by your conduct!"

The three engineers perked up at this. "Y-you are?" Sparkler said excitedly.

"Oh yes, very much so!" Ingo said. "The way you and the rest of the train's staff handled themselves in a situation as unexpected and unfamiliar as the one you found yourselves in was exemplary!"

Emmet nodded. "While we aren't entirely pleased that you all seemed content to hang back and allow the passengers to do almost all the serious fighting, especially yesterday…" The engineers winced at this. "The way you joined in today by engaging those Nihilator battleships and aiding in the capture of the ones you've brought to New Avalon was very impressive, and has set a precedent for going above and beyond the call of duty that your colleagues will be very hard pressed to meet!"

"The fact that you brought the train back in such excellent shape doesn't hurt, either!" Ingo said, patting the side of the engine proudly.

"Th-thank you, sirs! We were only too proud to do our duty!" Sparkler said eagerly.

"That's not the way I remember it…" Coil muttered. Sparkler elbowed him, which hurt her more than it did him, since he was made of metal.

"As recognition for your heroic feats and your performance in assisting your passengers against the Nihilator threat, all of the Enchanted Express's staff is receiving promotions, pay raises, and extensive bonuses!" Emmet declared.

"YES!" the three engineers cheered, just as the rest of the staff would too, once they heard the news.

"Well, except for you, Rono. You're just getting a severance package and a letter of recommendation," Ingo said apologetically to the Aron.

Rono's eyes bulged out of his sockets. "Wait, what?"

"You're firing him? But why? He didn't do anything wrong!" Sparkler protested.

"We sort of have to. He can't work for both us _and_ his new employer, now can he?" Emmet asked.

Rono blinked. "New…employer?"

"_**He's talking about me, puny one!"**_ Outlaw declared as she stomped up behind Emmet and Ingo, a sinister expression of triumph on her face.

"Hey fellows," Sam said as he walked up next to Outlaw, waving cordially.

"…Oh, _shit_," Sparkler swore.

The Aron's jaw dropped in horror. "N-no way! What're _you_ doing here?"

"_**What do you think I'm doing here? I got here three hours ahead of you, meaning I won the race!"**_ Outlaw declared smugly.

"WHAT? That's impossible!" Rono protested.

"Yeah, we went as fast as was possible without causing any safety violations, and took the direct route, without going the scenic way!" the shocked Coil cried. "_You_ went in the opposite direction!"

"We took a shortcut," Sam said.

They all stared at him. "…You…what…buh…huh?" Sparkler stammered incredulously, eye twitching.

"Yeah, that was about our reaction when they told us that, too," Ingo said.

"It doesn't make sense to us either, even though we work with magic every day!" Emmet agreed.

"However, they _did_ get here ahead of you, which means they won the race, as well as the bet you rather foolishly entered into," Ingo said.

Rono went pale with horror. "Wh-which means…"

"_**That's right! As per the terms of our agreement, since I won, that means you're now my slave for life!"**_ Outlaw Murkrowed, rubbing her claws together eagerly and making a grating metal screech. _**"So say goodbye to your friends, because you're coming with me! I'm going to put you to work right away, because I could use a good polish considering how dirty my chassis got during the last battle and I need to look good as new when I return to Cybertron! Aside from my battle scars, that is."**_

"No…No! NOOOOOOOOO!" Rono screamed, scrambling backwards as Outlaw extended a giant metal claw towards him.

"S-sirs, you can't let this happen! You have to help him!" Sparkler cried desperately.

"Actually, we don't," Emmet said.

"…Huh?" said the confused Sparkler.

"Union rules. If one of our employees gambles away their life and freedom on their own time, we aren't accountable for it, and any attempt on our part to interfere in what is that employee's personal business will be seen as an invasion of privacy and get us laid up with tons of lawsuits as well as protests from the Railworkers Union," Ingo explained.

"What? That's ridiculous!" Sparkler protested.

"Yeah, he didn't gamble away his life and freedom on his own time!" Coil agreed.

"Who issued the challenge, Outlaw or Rolo?" Emmet asked.

"Outlaw," Sparkler said automatically.

"Not quite, while Outlaw set the terms, Rolo's the one who claimed the train was faster than her, so technically he threw the first gauntlet," Sam corrected her.

"But Outlaw's the one who set the terms!" Coil protested.

"And Rolo agreed to them without disputing them in the slightest," Sam pointed out. "Therefore, he was neither coerced nor tricked into taking part in the race. If he wanted different terms, he should have said as much before agreeing to the race, but since he did not, that means he chose to wager his freedom of his own volition."

"…Um…damn, he has a point there…" Coil muttered.

"But it wasn't 'on his own time!' He was on the clock!" Sparkler said desperately.

"Was he on or off the train when he agreed to the race?" Ingo asked.

"…Off…" Sparkler admitted.

"And was the train in motion, or the engine even turned on?" Emmet asked.

"Well…no," Sparkler said, her heart sinking.

"Therefore the bet was technically made on his own time, not on the company's," Ingo said. "And as such, we can't interfere without getting in a lot of trouble with the Railworkers' Union."

"And lawsuits. And people accusing us of taking too much of an interest in our employees' personal lives. Don't forget those," Emmet added. "Trust me, its way more trouble than it's worth."

"But that's _stupid!_ You're saying you'd get in trouble for _saving his life?_" Coil said incredulously.

"And you're too scared of getting yelled at by teamsters to bother doing anything?" Sparkler added.

"Yeah, that about sums it up," Ingo said.

"And I'm sure you're going to point out that the union being angry at us for saving his life is stupid, and you're right," Emmet said. "But you know as well as I do that the union cares more about securing equal rights for all workers rather than one of their own getting screwed over for his own mistakes. If they lose him without those rights being violated, they're perfectly fine with it."

"Heck, they'd probably be mad at him if we _did_ help him because he let us violate his rights," Ingo said.

"I'm perfectly okay with that! I'm perfectly okay with that!" Rono screamed.

"Yes, but they aren't, and there's more of them and they've got an awful lot more political leverage than we do," Emmet said. "So…yeah, our hands are pretty much tied here. Sorry."

"I do not accept your apology!" Rono yelled.

"Neither do we!" Sparkler said angrily.

"Would a little extra bonus help smooth things over?" Ingo asked.

"No!" Sparkler said.

"What about a _big_ extra bonus?" Emmet asked.

Sparkler rubbed her chin in thought. "…I'll think about it."

"GUYS!" Rono shrieked.

"Don't worry, I'll save you!" Coil declared, flying towards Outlaw, electricity crackling from his magnets. Without Zubatting an eye, she swatted him away, imbedding him in the far wall. "Okay, maybe not…"

"If it's any consolation, she's promised to treat you with the utmost care and respect for as long as you're in her service," Ingo said.

"She said she was going to turn me into a cyborg!" Rono yelled.

Outlaw rolled her optic. _**"I'm going to use anesthetic. Sheesh. I'm not a monster."**_

"Yes you are," Sam pointed out.

"_**Well, okay, but I'm less of one than, say, Shockwave,"**_ Outlaw said as she closed her metal digits around the much smaller Aron's shell and lifted him into the air. _**"Granted, I'm no Soundwave, but you'd probably be better off as my pet than one for most other Decepticons, since I have a slightly better understanding of just how much abuse a squishy body can take. And since you're mostly metal, that means you can take even **_**more**_** abuse! Good for you!"**_

"Why am I not reassured?" Rono whimpered as Outlaw opened a hatch on her chest and dropped him into it. "Goodbye, cruel worl-" She shut the hatch, silencing him.

"…He's not going to suffocate in there, is he?" Sam asked.

"_**No! Probably not. Maybe. Fine, I'll switch on the vents…"**_ Outlaw grumbled, activating the air refresher in the tiny space she'd crammed Rono into.

"And you need to remember to feed him. Don't want him to starve to death, do you?" Sam prompted.

"_**What, seriously? Ugh, keeping a pet is so much work…"**_she complained as she rerouted some water and snacks she kept for Max into the very cramped cell Rono was trapped in.

"…Are you sure you can't do anything, sirs?" Sparkle asked uncomfortably.

"No," Emmet said.

"And to be fair, what exactly are we supposed to do? While we're strong enough as wizards go, I don't think we're really equipped to handle a giant alien robot car," Ingo said.

"Hmm. Point," Sparkle admitted.

There was the sound of trumpets, and suddenly the crowd stopped their cheering, their attention turning away from the heroes. "Hey, why aren't they cheering for us anymore?" Leo complained.

Fantina gasped and straightened up. "Oh! Everyone, on your best be'avior! Some _Very_ Important Pokémon are about to arrive!"

The trumpets sounded again, and the crowd silently parted, both of their own volition and because a magical force was gently pushing them away from each other to clear an aisle down the middle of the platform leading towards the train. A large group of what indeed looked like Very Important Pokémon marched up that aisle, preceded by a few dozen guards in rune-covered armor and robes that formed a perimeter along the aisle and around the front of the crowd to keep everyone else back and make a clear space for the important personages coming forward to meet the heroes. Whether or not these guards were necessary considering that every one of these Pokémon looked as if they were strong enough to take on a small army by themselves and three of them were none other than the legendary Tao Trio of dragon gods Zekrom, Reshiram, and Kyurem was debatable, but they looked good in their formal robes and armor so they were probably there for the sake of appearances. The dragon deities, their heads reaching so high that they almost scraped the ceiling, nodded at Lugia, who inclined his head in return out of respect. The others might have done the same, if they weren't all fixated on the entity leading the group of newcomers, who seemed to draw everyone's attention to it, not just because of its incredible beauty but because of how…_mysterious_ the creature seemed.

It _looked_ like a Gothitelle. Except that most Gothitelle weren't white instead of black with soft pink ribbons with jewels set into them in place of white ribbons. They also didn't have hair that shimmered with the colors of the rainbow instead of being a solid black, with wing-like projections extending from the sides instead of curled ponytails, wearing a golden tiara with nine points on it with a different jewel balanced on the top of each point and a central gemstone on the forehead that was constantly changing colors instead of a big white ribbon on the back of the head. And while Gothitelle usually had blue eyes, and this one's were no different, most Gothitelle eyes weren't so blue that they looked as if there was actually a piece of the sky stuck in them…and, if you stared into them for too long, stars, and maybe something…else. It wore bangles made of gold set with several jewels rather than just being plain white, and a long cape that looked as if it were made of actual gold somehow turned into thread and woven together, with lots of sparkling sequins and gem shards sewn into it. The air around it was also different, rippling and shimmering and causing light to bend and distort around it, a sign that it had _incredible_ psychic abilities only barely held in check. This was also evident in the way every breath in its presence felt charged with energy, as if simply being around it was exposing them to unearthly power beyond imagining. Everything around it looked somehow paler and less real in comparison, much like the castle at the center of the city. The Gothitelle also seemed even more beautiful than Fantina, in a way that they _felt_ down to the cores of their being, rather than just being easy on the eyes. But in spite of that, there was something slightly unsettling about the Gothitelle…as if it weren't actually a Pokémon at all, but some kind of living _force_ or energy that had somehow been made to take a shape similar to that of a Pokémon. In spite of this, the feeling of benevolence it radiated kept it from being frightening…mostly.

There was no doubt whatsoever in their minds that they were standing before the Queen of Fichina, and so when Fantina bowed all of them got down on their knees or did the equivalent without a second thought. (Yes, even Briney!) "Your Magisty," the Mismagius breathed. "It is an 'onor and a privilege to be in your presence again."

Although the Gothitelle's lips did not move, they all got the distinct impression that she was smiling. "And the same to you, my Duchess. Rise, all of you. Let me gaze upon the faces of those who have risked so much to bring one of my dearest friends home safely, as well as to expose one of the greatest threats to our world's safety that there has ever been, and even managed to save my city from one last attempt by that hidden evil to inflict suffering and destruction against my people." Team Aurabolt tried not to wince at this. "You who have done so much for us deserve to be honored and revered by all of Fichina."

They stood up, again without a second thought. Her voice hadn't been heard, or even spoken or thought really, so much as _felt_ with every fiber of their being. It wasn't telepathy or anything like that, but something…_deeper_ somehow, that was capable of touching all of them on some profound level. Her strange blue eyes scanned them for a moment in silence, seeming to peer into their souls. (They probably did.) "My dear friend the Duchess Fantina and her retinue, back from yet another successful adventure. Ash, the Chosen One, and his companions of Team Aurabolt…including the long-lost daughter of the Yukihimi house, returned at last to the land of her foremothers." Lily winced at this, but there was no judging tone in the Queen's voice, simply observation. "You have done a great deal for our country, and we thank you for that and welcome you to our realm." The Queen turned her gaze on the others. "The Beast of the Sea, Lugia. It has been far too long since you have visited our shores."

"Your Magisty," Lugia said, bowing his head respectfully. "I am sorry it has been so long."

"As am I," the Queen said before turning to Dean and Bob. "Dean and Bob, the first vampires I believe I have had the chance to meet in the flesh, and the ones whom, I believe, set the events of the last few days in motion. It is an honor to meet you, and I am sorry you lost one of your own trying to get here."

"As are we, Magisty," Bob said sadly.

The Queen continued. "Ritchie Getem and his companions of Team Getem, bearing the legendary Plates of Arceus. We are blessed to be within the presence of such holy artifacts." Team Getem grinned at this and Zippo couldn't resist looking a little too smug. "Our own Goldorrington family, whom I have been told will pay for the damage to the Temple of Ho-Oh." Goldor winced at this, while Silvia was struggling not to faint from elation that the Queen knew who she was. "The mercenaries Bruno and George, who were hired on to protect the passengers of this train on their voyage and found themselves in a little over their heads. Rest assured, the Crown will make sure you are more than compensated for your bravery over these last few days." George perked up at this. Bruno opened his mouth to say that he didn't consider himself a mercenary, and then wisely thought better of it. "Looker of the International Police, chasing a lead for an investigation that, sadly, may no longer be relevant." Looker sighed unhappily while Bruno gave him a puzzled look. "The wizard Kairyu, who I do not believe I have ever had the pleasure of meeting…which is odd, considering I have met _every_ wizard in the world at one time or another." Palmer did not say anything or change his expression. The Queen made no further comment and proceeded. "The oracle Cherry and spiritualist Rebecca, in forms different from the ones I am familiar with. It seems that not even your prophecies or spirits could fully prepare you for the battles you faced over the last few days, but your ability to adapt and succeed in spite of that shows that you are more capable than some of your peers, who might have frozen up at the first sign that their talents might not have been enough to overcome the odds."

"…Was that a compliment?" Bitey whispered to Cherry.

"Yes. Shut up!" she hissed.

"Okay, okay. But why didn't she mention me?" the Gastly complained.

The Queen glanced at Outlaw, who was trying to rile up the rest of the engineers and Emmet and Ingo to try and trick one of them into becoming her slave, while Sam watched on with an oblivious look on his face. "Sam and Outlaw, strange visitors from another world who lost one of their own as well…but, unlike Count Dominick, their friend may yet still be recovered, and we shall do our best to make sure he is returned to his comrades and his family."

"Thanks," Sam said.

"_**Feh, we don't need their help…"**_ Outlaw muttered.

"Yes we do," Sam said.

"_**I know, I just like being contrary," **_the Decepticon grunted.

"And lastly Todd Snap of the _Magical Times,_ who was only on the train to take a few photographs, and found himself with a scoop that will make him the envy of his peers for years to come," the Queen concluded, nodding at Todd, who was doing his best not to pass out with glee that she knew his name while his rivals and colleagues in the crowd glared at him enviously. "You are an unlikely group of heroes, who nevertheless found yourselves drawn together by fate to fight against an enemy many of you could never have imagined existed. But while lesser Pokémon might have fled or froze up in terror at the forces arrayed against them, you stood firm and managed to do what many would have regarded impossible, to not only survive, but _win_, with only a single lasting casualty. This is a feat the likes of which has not occurred near my realm in centuries, and so I commend you heroes for your bravery and fortitude, and promise you now that what you have done shall never be forgotten by the people of Fichina. On behalf of my kingdom, I, Queen Ninianne the Everlasting, congratulate you and formally welcome you to the land of Fichina. May your stay here be a pleasant respite from the battles you have faced, and the trials that await us all in the days to come." The crowd began to cheer again, and the passengers of the Enchanted Express exchanged bemused looks and grins, drinking in the praise and applause, although her last words caused some of them to feel a hint of unease.

Queen Ninianne turned to Dean and Bob again. "My vampiric friends, you came here initially to speak before the Order of Merlin regarding Bellum's association with the apocalyptic terrorist group calling themselves the 'Nihilators.' However, after what has occurred these past two days, in the doomed town of Dusty Ditch and in the desert just outside our borders, I believe the danger the Nihilators represent goes far beyond one wayward sorceress who had crossed the line for the last time in her attempts to take over the world. Tell me, just how much information do you have on the Nihilators, and the threat they present to the world?"

"What _don't_ we know?" Dean half-joked.

Bob nodded. "We know the locations and layouts of just about every major hideout and base they have on Earth, a nearly complete roster of all their agents both active and covert, which politicians and corporations are in their pocket, what kind of forces they can bring to bear, a fair bit of knowledge about their Shadow Pokémon program and how it works, a list of the countless atrocities they've committed, the names of almost every prisoner or hostage they're holding captive in their central stronghold—whose location we're more than willing to share-more workplace gossip than you'd ever want to know, exactly how many times Doctor Tarantulas' minion Chobin has died and been cloned back to life, and almost anything else anyone could possibly want to know about their organization, up to and including what the majority of them eat for breakfast."

"Well, everything except who Oblivion's Shadow is," Dean amended.

"Yeah, nobody seems to know that, or what exactly he's up to behind closed doors in his private lab," Bob admitted. "And there are a lot of details about their master plan beyond opening the Door to the Abyss and releasing the Ruler of Evil and Giratina that we aren't clear on. But just about anything else you might want to ask, we're pretty sure we can give you an answer!"

The Queen's eyebrows raised, impressed, and the murmurs of amazement from the crowd showed they were too. A lot of the passengers were looking at the two vampires in surprise as well, for while they had known the escaped prisoners had vital intel on the Nihilators, they hadn't known just how much or how detailed it was. "That is a most impressive claim. How did you manage to obtain this information?"

"That's, ah, something we'd rather not discuss in public, Your Magisty," Dean said, eyeing the crowd anxiously. "We wouldn't want it getting back to the Nihilators and making things difficult for our friends on the inside…"

The Queen nodded, comprehending at once. "Understood. And Team Aurabolt, you have had a great deal of experience fighting the Nihilators, possibly more so than anyone present here, correct?"

"Yeah, you could say that," Ash said with a smirk.

"I've been killing those bastards for over a decade. You could more than just say it, it's a proven _fact_," Briney said sternly.

"Um…I-I did some work for them at my Mother's behest…" Lily said nervously. "I doubt I know anything near as much as Dean or Bob do, but I know a lot about my Mother, so anything I know that might help, I'd be happy to tell you."

"And I would be happy to hear it," Ninianne said, causing Lily to feel all buoyant and giddy for reasons she didn't quite understand. "And great Lugia, you were only recently liberated from the Nihilator's clutches, correct?" she asked the sea god.

Lugia nodded gravely. "Yes, thanks to the efforts of Ash and the other brave souls gathered before you. I do not know how much information I can give you, however, since I was a mindless monster for most of that period of time."

"Perhaps, but any insight you can give us on being a Shadow Pokémon would be most welcome," Ninianne said.

Lugia grimaced, not wanting to dwell too long on his past evils. "I…will do my best, Your Magisty."

"Which is all I would ask." The Queen regarded everyone. "This no longer is a matter for the Order of Merlin. On the morrow, a meeting shall be held in the halls of my palace with every major official and mage in Fichina in attendance so that we may hear what all of you have to say about the Nihilators. This meeting will be public to all, and broadcast to every nation on Earth so that they will no longer be able to deny the truth that is right in front of them, the truth that the Draconian Empire has spent the last several weeks trying to prove that, I am sad to admit; even I was reluctant to believe. But with so much overwhelming evidence, and a literal graveyard of ships sitting at my doorstep, I can deny the existence of the Nihilators no longer, and the whole world shall soon follow suit. Thanks to your efforts, their evil will be exposed and, with your help and that of every nation on Earth, eradicated once and for all."

The heroes exchanged elated looks at this. "That…that would be incredible!" Pikachu said, stunned.

"Certainly more assistance than I ever expected we would receive!" Lily agreed excitedly, although she was still a teensy bit worried about how she would be received, considering that until a few weeks ago she was technically working for the enemy they were trying to destroy.

"Yatta! The whole world will soon know the name of Leo DeKappa and the rest of Team Aurabolt!" Leo whooped. "Oh yeah, and the Nihilators too, I guess."

"Your Magisty, we would be more than happy to tell you and anyone else who's interested everything we know about the Nihilators, to help you and the rest of the world put them out of business permanently!" Ash vowed, more than a little relieved that this fight was no longer one they'd have to carry on alone. Although he still hoped they'd be given a chance to storm the Nihilator headquarters, and take out Oblivion's Shadow himself…

The Queen nodded. "And for this, I thank you, as does Fichina, and hopefully soon enough, the world. I would be more than happy to hear whatever you have to say, and I believe tonight would be a good time to start. You are all invited to dine with me and my closest advisors at my castle this evening, so that we can get a good feeling for the information you have for us and so we may deliberate the best way to present it to the rest of the world in such a way that it cannot be easily pushed aside."

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Silvia shrieked shrilly before passing out, a look of pure bliss on her face.

"…Yeah, I don't know her," Goldor said awkwardly, scooting away from his hysterical wife.

"Yes you do, she's your wife, and everyone knows it," Buck said.

"Oh, be quiet, boy!" Goldor hissed.

"We would be more zan 'appy to attend, Your Magisty," Fantina said cordially.

"We would?" Bruno asked. Everyone glared at him. "Er, right, we would. Eh, there'll be free food, so I guess it'd be fine…" He scratched his chin thoughtfully. "This'll be the first time I've ever dined with royalty, though…I have no idea what I'm supposed to wear. Or which cutlery I'm supposed to use. There's always so many of those darn forks and knives at these formal things, which of them am I supposed to use?"

"Start on the outside and work your way in for each consecutive dish and course," Looker said.

"Oh, thanks," Bruno said in relief.

"How did you know that?" George asked, having trouble imagining Looker getting invited to the sorts of dinners where you'd need to know how to use the cutlery very often. Unless he was investigating a murder or something.

"Because I'm a detective," Looker said enigmatically, which was all he would reveal on the matter.

"I brought some of those who would be dining with us down with me so they might get a favorable first impression of you all," Queen Ninianne said, indicating the Pokémon gathered behind her, who stepped forward as she called for them. "I know all of your names, so it is only fair you know all of those whom I brought to meet you. Allow me to introduce _my_ friends:

"Some of you may already be familiar with Mr. Sukizo, head of the Order of Merlin and the Magician's Club," the Queen said as a familiar Abra wearing a tuxedo and top hat stepped forward and bowed. Ash blinked in surprise at hearing the name.

"Duchess Fantina, Lady Bow, Masters Dean and Bob, a pleasure to see you all again, though I'm sorry Count Vladimir was unable to make it," the Abra said.

"The same to you, sir," Bob said, bowing his head.

"Wonder if he _still_ thinks Bellum isn't doing anything worth more than a reprimand …" Dean muttered.

"You may also recall Joy Prime, matriarch of the Joy clan and head of the Healer's Guild," the Queen said as Mr. Sukizo stepped back and a white-robed Blissey stepped forward.

"Hello, all of you, and greetings again to the Duchess and her friends!" Joy Prime said cheerily. "My, it looks like the lot of you are in pretty good shape after all the intense battles you've had these last few days, and without any of my family helping, either! I hope you enjoy your stay in Fichina, and feel free to visit me or any of my children if you're feeling a little under the weather!"

"We'll keep that in mind," Ritchie promised.

"Hey, think she knows about that one messed-up Joy back in Treasure Town who's making her patients whore themselves out to pay for their medical bills?" Ash whispered to Pikachu.

"Probably, but it might not be polite to bring her up," Pikachu whispered back. "Black Mareep of the family and all that."

"A black Mareep? I thought Mareep only came with cream and pink wool," Tiny said. Ash and Pikachu sweatdropped.

"Someone most of you have probably never met before is Lady Caitlin, Headmistress of one of the most prestigious academies in Fichina, and her ever-present valet and bodyguard, Darach," the Queen said as a more normal-looking Gothitelle (well, normal in that she looked like an actual Gothitelle rather than a mysterious force pretending to be one, she was pink and had sprites holding up her unusually long hair) and formally-attired Gallade with a pocket watch dangling from a chain stepped forward.

"From what I have heard, you demonstrated incredible elegance and grace in your battles. I am impressed, and I do not impress easily," Lady Caitlin said haughtily.

"She's right, she doesn't. You 'ave no idea 'ow long it took for me to earn 'er favor back at school," Bow muttered to Lily.

"Daimyo Leeku, head of Fichina's samurai," the Queen said, indicating a very large and very formidable-looking Samurott who looked like he might have more scars than even Raiki and might actually be able to give the Raichu a run for his money.

Pikachu started at this. "A samurai? They have samurai here?"

"We do indeed," Leeku rumbled, appraising Pikachu. "You are of the Thunderblade line, are you not? You carry that sword of yours well, and do honor to your line…would that the same could be said for my own son." Pikachu blinked at this, but the Samurott offered no further information.

"Don George, manager of the Battle Clubs scattered throughout Fichina and other parts of the world," the Queen said, introducing an Emboar at least as big as Viers (and looking much more intelligent) wearing colored sashes and armbands.

"Ha, you guys sure look strong! I'd be honored to have any one of you visit my clubs, you'd probably give any of my regulars a hard time!" the Emboar chortled while Ash stared at him dumbfounded.

"Hmm, I might take you up on that offer…" Bruno said, intrigued.

"Princess Boa, head of Fichina's Mystic Knights," the Queen said of an elegant, stunning Servine wearing shining white armor with images of leaves and numerous runes engraved into it with a green cape and a rapier sheathed at her side.

"It is a pleasure to meet distinguished warriors such as yourselves…including a member of a line of knights as respected as the DeLuxes," the knight-princess said graciously, nodding to Sparky.

Sparky smiled and bowed formally. "I am just as honored to meet you, milady. Tales of your order have reached the ears of my family, far from Fichina though we may be."

"Likewise, as I have heard similar stories of your family. It is a joy to meet you," Boa said, causing Lu to frown slightly while Ash stared at the Servine, jaw dropped.

"Master Brycen, head of Fichina's order of Aura Guardians…small in number though they may be," the Queen said, nodding at a very powerful-looking masked Beartic.

"Ooh, an Aura Guardian who's not a Lucario, like me and Cruise!" Tiny said excitedly.

"Not only that, but he's a former action movie star!" Leo said giddily.

"…What, seriously?" Pikachu asked.

"Yeah, he used his Aura skills to make tons of awesome martial arts films, but then he grew bored and went up to a mountain cave to meditate and gain knowledge and stuff, then decided his true calling was as an Aura Guardian," Leo explained. "He still wears a mask because he's weird that way or something."

Brysen clasped his paws together and bowed his head at Ash. "Chosen One. It is an honor to meet you. Prophecies of your coming have been passed down among our kind for ages, but I never thought you would appear in my lifetime."

"Um, yeah, neither did I," Ash said, snapping out of his stupor and quickly returning the bow.

"I sense that your heart is in turmoil. If there is anything I can do to ease your suffering, I am at your disposal," Brysen said.

Ash blinked, and then gave the Beartic a grateful smile. "Thanks. I may just take you up on that offer. You could probably teach me a thing or two."

"I certainly could," Brysen chuckled. "And perhaps your son as well."

"Awesome!" Tiny cheered.

"It will not be enough to save you," Misty whispered. Ash ignored her.

"Hey, do you think I could train with you too? I mean, I'm an Aura Guardian-to-be too!" Ritchie spoke up. Brysen did not acknowledge him. Ritchie scowled, feeling twinges of envy rising again.

"Professor Fennel, our top Magitek researcher and the developer behind many of our nation's current advances in magitechnology, including the engine used in the train you just rode on," the Queen said, nodding towards an attractive Musharna wearing a lab coat and glasses.

"And I'm sure I'll be able to come up with even more soon enough once I get a good look at all the technology from the ships you've salvaged!" the Professor said eagerly, Dream Mist seeping from her forehead at the thought of all the amazing inventions she could make.

"Ooh, can we get some of that?" Leo asked hopefully. "I wouldn't mind getting a few magitech upgrades for my gear!"

"Yeah, so would I!" Zippo said ecstatically.

"We'll talk about it," Sparky said vaguely.

"We'll definitely get you some," Sasha promised Leo, remembering all too well what had happened the last time Leo had found his technology inadequate and not wanting a repeat.

"Sweet!" Leo cheered, while Zippo glared at him jealously.

Outlaw glared suspiciously at the Musharna. _**"She'd better not be talking about me when she's talking about salvaging technology, because I don't want the likes of her messing around under my hood! I get enough of that back home from Shockwave and those idiotic C.O.P.S. wanting to see what makes me tick…"**_

"Don't worry, if she tries anything I'll shoot her dead," Sam promised her, much to the consternation of those closest to him.

"_**Awww, you say the sweetest things, meatbag,"**_ Outlaw said, touched.

"I do?" Sam said obliviously. Outlaw oildropped. (Because she's a robot, and can't sweat, so emits oil instead…or Energon…ugh, this is why it's a bad thing to explain jokes…)

"Lord Drayden, regent of Fichina's dragon clans and liaison with the Draconian Empire," the Queen said, nodding at a very large scarred Haxorus with wings and worn but sturdy armor.

The Haxorus nodded at Lily. "It is an honor to have the daughter of Shinobu as a guest in our realm."

"Um…thanks…?" Lily said uncertainly. As mentioned before, she was so used to being associated with her mother it surprised her whenever someone reminded her that she was tied to a second parent.

"Why does he have wings? I thought Haxorus normally didn't," said the puzzled Pikachu.

"Magic," Butler said.

"…That's it? That's all the explanation you're going to give us?" Pikachu asked in annoyance after waiting a few moments for the Dusclops to elaborate to no avail.

Diane shrugged. "It's pretty much all the explanation you need. He's absorbed enough of Fichina's magical energy over his centuries of living here that it altered his DNA and made him grow wings."

"Oh," Pikachu said.

"Makes sense to me," Leo said.

"Yeah, I suppose so…" Pikachu admitted reluctantly.

"Ambassador Stoutroot, head of foreign relations and our most experienced Pokémon at dealing with the world beyond Fichina's borders," the Queen said of a very large Venusaur wearing comically small spectacles, armbands, and a bowtie.

"Something I get the feeling I'm going to be doing a lot of in the next few days, thanks to your actions," the Venusaur said, though not unkindly.

Ash blinked and stared at him incredulously. _No way…he can't be…_my_ Bulbasaur? What's _he_ doing _here_? And as an _ambassador?_ Well, okay, that last part makes sense, but…here? Now? HOW?_

"Ash, why have you been staring slack-jawed at most of the Pokémon the Queen's been introducing us to? It's very impolite," Pikachu muttered to Ash.

"Um, sorry, it's just that I'm pretty sure I've met almost all of them in my past life," Ash said.

"I wonder how many of them died because of your cowardice?" Misty asked brightly. Ash ignored her.

"…What, seriously?" Pikachu asked incredulously. "How do we keep running _into_ these guys?"

"Plot contrivance," Leo said cheerfully. Pikachu groaned in exasperation.

"The Supreme Commander of our armed forces, General Victini," the Queen said as an adorable cream-colored rodent-like Pokémon with big pointed ears shaped like a V, huge blue eyes, a large round head, orange ears, crest, and extremities, bulbous arms and legs, two winglike tails, wearing a suit of very thick pitch-black armor engraved with evil-looking runes and embossed with chains and flaming skulls, lots of spikes, pauldrons at least twice the size of her head resembling demonic skulls, and a massive zweihander about as long as Ash was tall strapped to its back, floated into view, a cocky grin on her face.

"Heh, you guys pulled off a pretty impressive victory out there, even _without_ my blessing," Victini said in an incredibly cute squeaky voice. "I can't wait to see what kind of a fight you'll be able to bring out now that I'm involved!"

Everyone stared at Victini for a long moment, dumbfounded. "Awww, isn't she just the cutest little deathbringing war god you've ever seen?" Leo squealed.

"…That is not at all what I expected Victini to look like," Lily said.

"Well, Victini's the goddess of Victory, which means she usually gets called upon during big battles and wars and the like. What'd you think she'd be like?" Briney asked.

"Um…I hadn't really given much thought to it, to be honest," Lily confessed. She frowned. "I'm pretty sure a suit of armor and giant sword like that weren't part of it, though…"

"Yeah, really," Ash murmured, having difficulty reconciling the somewhat intimidating figure before them with the friendly Macaron-loving creature he'd met long ago in Eindoak Town. What, had she gotten addicted to heavy metal or something? (The answer was yes, not that he'd know that.)

"And of course, our guardian deities, the Tao Trio," the Queen finished, indicating the great black Zekrom, great white Reshiram, and great gray Kyurem, standing at the back of the group.

"You have done well in fighting for your ideals," Zekrom, a bipedal black dragon with red eyes, a light-blue plume, armor padding on his neck, shoulders, and splayed webbed wings, splayed webbed mitts for arms with three-clawed hands underneath, clawed feet, spiked heels, and a large round conical spiked formation like an electric generator for a tail growled.

"And have sacrificed much to make sure the truth is heard," Reshiram, a bipedal white dragon with blue eyes, a vulpine face, a long and voluminous wispy mane, a spiky fringe around the face, a long slender neck, expansive feathered wings for forelimbs with four claws on the leading edge, long feathers streaming from the thighs, and a tail like a jet engine said. He frowned at Ash. "Most of you, anyway." The Lucario blinked in alarm, and Lugia and his friends gave him concerned looks.

Kyurem, a gray and blue bipedal dragon with a blue head and snout, light bluish horns, a yellow crest, a long gray neck, two almost dainty clawed arms, oddly proportioned wings with ice spikes growing from the ends, slender legs, a tail shaped like an engine with three blue icicles growing from the end, and a right side that seemed oddly damaged glared at Ash, narrowing its yellow eyes as icy mist rose from its form. "The boundary between light and dark in your heart has become broken…" it rasped.

"…I know. I'm trying to fix it," Ash said quietly.

"You are not trying hard enough," Kyurem said bluntly. Ash grimaced, knowing this was the truth. Lugia frowned at his uncaring colleague, thinking he could probably have phrased that better.

The Queen raised an eyebrow at this exchange but said nothing, and seeing this, the crowd, who had grown somewhat uneasy by their guardian deities' ominous words, calmed down, figuring that if the Queen wasn't worried, why should they be? "These individuals beside me are a great help to me in running the land of Fichina, and as such should be among the first to hear the information you have risked so much to bring here. That is all the introductions I feel are necessary at this juncture…"

"Oh, thank goodness, I thought we were never gonna be done being introduced to people we'll probably never see again after we leave this country," said a relieved Leo, earning him glares from the others.

The Queen paused, and then looked at Fantina. "However, they are not the only ones I came here with who wished to meet you."

"Oh, _come on!_" Leo hissed.

_Leo!_ Dawn clicked angrily.

"What? You were thinking it too!" Leo retorted.

"I certainly was," Briney commented. They glared at him. "What? Come on, you should expect this from me by now!"

"He's right, we should," Sasha admitted.

"There are six young spirits here with me who would very much like to say hello to their mother and sister," the Queen said, another implied smile on her face.

Fantina and Bow gasped, eyes widening in hope and delight. "You mean-"

"_MAMA! SOEUR!"_ Six lovely female Ghosts cried as they materialized around Fantina and Bow and glomped them, laughing and crying joyfully. Lily blinked, feeling slightly out of sorts. She and Marianne had never acted that way around Bellum…and their mother would never have tolerated such behavior, anyway. Seeing a perfectly healthy mother-daughter relationship felt…odd.

"Girls! Girls! I am so delighted to see you! I missed you so much!" Fantina said happily as she drew back to take a good look at her children.

"And we you, Mama!" a Gengar with strange body markings and rather archaic jewelry said.

"When we 'eard zat you 'ad gotten yourself involved in anozzer scuffle wiz Bellum, we got so worried, especially after we learned just 'ow bad it was zis time!" said a Dusknoir with a blue eye and black parasol and top hat.

"But we knew zat you would be all right, since you're _you_ after all, and besides, you 'ad Butler, Diane, and Bow zere to 'elp you!" said a Banette with a bright pink ribbon tied around the back of her head.

"'a! I didn't just 'elp 'er, I _excelled!_" Bow Murkrowed in delight, twirling to show herself off. "And just look at zis, girls! While fighting zat execrable Marianne, I finally managed to evolve!"

Her sisters oohed and awed at this. "'a, and about time, too! I was wondering when you would evolve!" a Lampent with ornate gold metal covered in curlicues for a frame and a green flame commented.

"Awww, but now I'm ze only one 'o 'asn't evolved yet!" a Yamask with a silver mask and circlet, the smallest and youngest of the Ghosts, complained.

"Don't worry, littlest sister, it will come in time, as all zings do," the eldest (presumably) Ghost, a gold Sableye with a thick book under one arm wearing a necklace with an icon of Arceus' Wheel around her neck, commented.

Ash and Pikachu blinked in surprise and exchanged looks. "Ash, is it just me or does that one look sort of like…" the samurai started.

"No! It can't be…" Ash denied.

"But…that color scheme…I don't think there's many Pokémon who look like that…" Pikachu said.

"But they can't be related…can they? I mean, that would mean he and Fantina would have had to…you know…" Ash said, making a face. "And when would that have happened, anyway?"

"Well, he _has_ been around a long time…and we don't know _everything_ about his past before we met him…" Pikachu pointed out. "There's plenty of time when it could have happened, right?"

"Even so, it's too weird!" Ash said. "But, if something _did_ happen…do you think he knows?"

"If he doesn't, I think he will soon enough…" Pikachu said.

"Everyone, I would like you to meet my beautiful daughters," Fantina said, reluctantly breaking from the embrace of her children and turning to face the others. "Bow you are already familiar wiz, of course."

"I should zink so, after everyzing we've been zrough togezzer!" Bow said, feigning annoyance as she fanned herself.

"Ze rest are, in order from eldest to youngest (aside from Bow, who's third youngest): Mirami," Fantina said, gesturing to the golden Sableye.

"Greetings," the Sableye said, bowing her head.

"Agatha…"

"Bonjour!" the Gengar said cheerfully. Ash blinked and stared at her in surprise. Pikachu groaned, getting that exasperated feeling again.

"Morticia…"

"Zank you very much for taking such good care of my Mozzer and sister," the Dusknoir said.

"Phoebe…"

"It is a pleasure to meet you!" said the Banette.

"Shauntel…"

"If everyzing I've 'eard about your adventures so far is true, I would love to put it in one of my novels! Um, if zat's okay…" the Lampent said shyly.

"And finally, Nefertari," Fantina concluded.

"I-it's nice to meet you all…" the Yamask said.

"Likewise," Ash said.

"Are we done with the introductions? Um, I mean, yeah, good to meet you!" Leo said quickly.

"And in return, allow me to introduce you girls to my new friends of Team Aurabolt, who 'ave been fighting Bellum and 'er Nihilator masters as well," Fantina said, glancing at the heroes. "Ash and Pikachu Zunderblade, Leo DeKappa, Sasha, Tiny, Dawn 'ikari, Captain Zaddeus Irving Briney, and Lily Yuki'imi." Lily, who had been doing her best to hide behind Briney until the Metang obstinately moved out of the way to keep her in view of everyone else, winced. Did Fantina _really_ need to use Lily's full name in front of her children, who probably had no more love for Lily's mother than anyone else did, perhaps even less than usual considering _their_ mother was fighting Bellum all the time?

The six daughters of Fantina looked at Lily in astonishment. "You are Bellum's daughter?" Phoebe asked.

"Y-yes…" Lily said anxiously. Her friends tensed, ready to defend her if things went bad.

They needn't have bothered. The six ghosts _did_ attack Lily, but only by enveloping her in a group hug. "You poor zing!" Morticia cried.

"'aving to grow up wiz a mozzer like zat…'ow terrible!" Nefertari said.

"But don't worry, you're free of 'er now, we won't let 'er 'urt you again!" Shauntel said.

Lily's eyes widened in amazement. "You…you don't hate me?"

"Of course not! Why would we?" Agatha demanded, looking offended.

"B-because I'm Bellum's daughter! Your family's worst enemy!" Lily cried in disbelief.

"_Bellum_ is our family's worst enemy," Phoebe said. "And Marianne, to an extent. You? Not so much."

"We know all about you…'ow you were little more zan Bellum's prisoner, razzer zan a true daughter, and 'ow you left 'er to join ze side of good ze first chance you got! We could never 'ate someone like zat!" Agatha insisted.

"And besides, Mama and Bow and everyone else like you, which means you _can't_ be bad, right?" Nefertari suggested reasonably.

Lily stared at them in amazement. "I-I…"

"Zere may be zose 'ere who despise your for your parentage or your past…but we will not," Morticia said solemnly. "Ze fact zat you are even 'ere shows zat you are trying to shed your mozzer's legacy, and deserve our love, not our 'atred."

"If you are ever in need of a friend or a place to rest your weary 'ead, you need look no furzer zan us," Mirami promised Lily. "Zere will always be a place for you in our 'ome and our 'earts."

Lily stammered for a moment, tearing up, before bursting into tears and hugging her new friends, sobbing inconsolably. Tiny and Leo started crying as well, and Ash sniffed and wiped away a tear. (Briney did not, though. This time, anyway.) Fantina smiled and nodded happily, pleased that her children had so readily accepted her new protégé. Butler (and quite a few other people) found the whole thing very touching, but couldn't help checking the time, wondering how much longer this was going to drag on.

Fortunately for those who were losing their patience, the Queen seemed to decide that this had gone on long enough as well and brought the welcoming ceremony to a close. "Now that all the introductions are finished ("FINALLY!" Leo shouted, prompting Pikachu to zap him very hard.), I invite you all to my castle, where you may rest up and prepare yourselves for the dinner that will be held in your honor in a few short hours."

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Silvia, who had just recovered from her last faint, shrieked shrilly before passing out, a look of pure bliss on her face.

Goldor facepalmed. "Its times like this I wonder why I ever married that womon…"

"For her money and family connections?" Buck said.

"Ah yes, that's it," Goldor said.

"I actually get to go inside the royal castle? OH. EM. AY!" Todd shrieked giddily, while the other reporters and photographers present glared at him enviously.

"The castle, huh? Wow, I'm sure moving up in the world!" Bruno joked.

"You're going to need to put a shirt on for dinner, you realize," Looker said.

The Machamp gave him a horrified look. "What, really?"

The Croagunk nodded. "I'm afraid so."

Bruno groaned. "Aw, mon…but there aren't any shirts that can contain these abs!" he complained, flexing his torso and causing a few of the ladies (and a handful of guys) in the crowd to pass out with nosebleeds.

"Well, you're going to have to find one," Looker said unsympathetically.

"Don't worry, I'm sure they can magic one up for you," Palmer said.

"But that won't work on me! I'm covered in anti-magic!" Bruno complained, pointing to the numerous tattoos covering his body.

"…Hmm, yes. That is a problem, isn't it…" Palmer murmured.

"Ah, the royal castle. It's been a while since we were last there," Rebecca commented.

"Yes, and they have the best food!" Bitey said, licking his lips eagerly.

"Be careful not to eat too much or you'll give yourself a stomachache," Cherry warned.

Bitey frowned in concern. "Is that a prophecy?"

"No, just common sense," the oracle said.

"_**Eh, I doubt there's anything there I can eat,"**_ Outlaw grunted.

"Look on the bright side, you're going into the center of their government, allowing you to collect all sorts of intelligence that Megatron—or Max—might find handy if they ever want to invade this place," Sam said. "And if not, you can probably still loot the place and bring back some more trophies to show off to all the Decepticons back home."

"_**There is that,"**_ Outlaw admitted, perking up.

"The castle? Sweet! This is gonna be awesome!" Zippo squealed.

"So long as nobody does anything to get us kicked out or thrown in the dungeon, and by nobody I mean you, Zippo," Sparky said. The Charmeleon scowled. Salty snickered until the knight turned on him. "That goes for you too, Salty, and everyone else. We're going to be on our best behavior, got it?"

The Tentacool rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, I got it…"

"What Sparky said goes for us, too," Pikachu said to his teammates. "I don't want to hear that any of you got cursed or thrown into the dungeon for doing something stupid. Do you understand, Leo?"

"Aw come on, why you always gotta pick on me?" Leo whined.

"Because you're the one most likely to get cursed or thrown into the dungeon for doing something stupid," Sasha said.

"Well, okay, that's true," Leo admitted.

"Your Magisty, if I may, zere is somezing I would like to do before my friends and I attend your dinner," Fantina spoke up, surprising the others.

"Is that so?" the Queen asked, bemused.

Fantina nodded. "I promised Teams Aurabolt and Getem zat after we got to Fichina, I would give zem ze artifacts zey originally came 'ere to find…artifacts zat will 'elp zem in zeir quests, and in Team Aurabolt's case, possibly prove of use against ze Nihilators. Since zere is still some time left before dinner, I was wondering if it would be all right if I took zem to my estate to retrieve ze items in question. In addition, zere is…somezing of a more personal matter I wish to do wiz Lily zat I am not positive zere will be much time for later."

Lily, still wrapped in hugs from the rest of Fantina's daughters, blinked in surprise. "Huh? What is she talking about?"

"Hmm…I might have an idea…" Leo muttered to himself, remembering his earlier talk with Bow. He reached inside his shell for a certain something, thinking to himself that the Perfect Moment might soon be at hand.

"Very well," the Queen said after a moment's thought. "You are correct, there is still some time yet before I will be expecting you for dinner and so you may go forth and take care of this matter. Do not be late, however, it would be most inconvenient for some of the guests of honor to not arrive on time."

"We will not be long, I promise," Fantina assured Ninianne.

"So we're finally going to get our hands on some more Plates! It's about time!" Happy said.

"And we're gonna get another Star Badge! Yay!" Tiny said.

"Yeah…yay…" Ash said uneasily.

"Ash, remember what we discussed," Lugia said.

"Yeah, I know, I know, I'll do it, I'm just not looking forward to it," Ash said.

Pikachu frowned. "What's he talking about? What _did_ you guys discuss?"

"It's a little complicated. I'll explain after we get this taken care of," Ash promised.

"Or you could just let me into your head now and I could fill everyone else in," Briney suggested.

"No," Ash said flatly, much to Briney's irritation.

"And it wouldn't help either Dawn or myself," Sasha pointed out.

Dawn nodded. _So since the two of us will have to hear the long version anyway, we might as well do it all at the same time._

"Oh, fine. Lousy Dark types…" Briney grumbled to himself.

"Ash, I am afraid I will not be able to accompany you in person, but I've reopened our telepathic link so I'll be able to provide you with whatever assistance I can once you've activated the Star Badge and retrieved your next memory," Lugia said.

"What? You're not coming with us?" Ash said in alarm.

Lugia shook his head. "There are matters I must discuss first with my fellow gods…matters pertaining both to the Nihilators, and to you. I will see you at dinner, however, and through our mental bond I promise I will be there with you when you face whatever it is you must face."

"…Okay. I guess that'll have to do," Ash said reluctantly.

"He's going to turn against you. He's going to talk to the others in private so they can discuss the best way to deal with you. You're too dangerous and out of control, they can't manipulate you so easily anymore. They need to figure out how to go about getting a new Chosen One, since you were such a _complete and total failure as one._ Maybe they'll choose Ritchie. He seems like a good candidate," Misty said. "Seeing as how he's much _saner_ than you are."

"And Ash, if you are to hear any voices other than my own…be sure to ignore them," Lugia said, telling from the look on Ash's face that Misty was raving about something again. The others looked at Lugia in puzzlement, wondering what he was talking about.

"I'll try to, thanks," Ash said.

"You're right not to trust me. I _do_ want you dead, after all. Then again, maybe he does, too. Don't worry though; I'm sure that if he attacks you, you can defend yourself adequately. After all, killing gods is something you're good at. Isn't that right, you deicidal MURDERER?" Misty shrieked.

"Hey, how come you're letting _him_ into your head but not me?" Briney complained.

"Because he's nice about it and not always invading my privacy," Ash said flatly, trying to ignore Misty.

"Bah!" Briney huffed.

Diane stepped forward. "All right, Team Aurabolt, Team Getem, miladies…everyone who's going to the Fantasma estate gather around me, I'll transport us there."

"Would ze two of you like to come wiz us?" Bow asked Dean and Bob, who stayed put as the others formed up around the Kirlia maid.

Dean shook his head. "Nah, I think we've had enough drama and excitement for one day, and it sounds like there's going to be plenty of that involved in whatever you guys are about to do. Bob and I just want to hang back, explore the big shiny castle, and get ourselves ready for dinner, if that's okay with you."

"Well, considering zat pretty much none of zis could 'ave 'appened wizout you, I suppose you _'ave_ been zhrough enough for a while. Especially wiz one of your own dying and all just a few 'ours ago. You're entitled to a break," Bow said.

"Exactly!" Dean said. He scowled. "And thank you for reminding us, yet again, that the Count's not here." Bow winced and gave the vampiric Wooper an apologetic look.

"We'll see you all at dinner. Whatever you're doing, I hope it goes well," Bob said.

Bow frowned and glanced at Ash. "Yes…so do I…" she murmured before floating over to join her family.

"Everyone ready?" Diane asked once Team Aurabolt, Team Getem, Butler, and the whole Fantasma clan had gathered in a loose circle around her.

"Actually, I kind of get queasy whenever I teleport, give me a second to take some stomach medicine first-" Zippo said as he started rooting through his bag.

"Too late," the Kirlia said, eyes glowing a bright blue. There was a flash of light, and they disappeared from the train platform.

As photographers and excited bystanders oohed and took pictures, the royal guard started gathering the Enchanted Express's remaining passengers and staff for transport to the castle, as well as to shield them from the paparazzi. (They also removed Brodie from his cell, keeping him suspended in an energy bubble utilizing magic similar to the spell that had kept him trapped on the train to make sure he couldn't Transform and escape. He was overjoyed when they came to collect him, because even though he was probably going from one prison to another, at least someone remembered he existed and he'd _finally_ have something to eat.) Going against the flow of Pokémon traffic, Victini and the Tao Trio walked over to Lugia, who had yet to move from the train roof and was staring at where Ash had just been. "The Chosen One is in turmoil," Zekrom said gravely. "He is staying strong to his ideals…"

"But he is not being true to himself," Reshiram said with concern. "But the truth he hides from himself may be just as devastating as continuing to hide from it."

"Ash will overcome his darkness," Lugia insisted. "He must. It is his destiny."

"And if he does not? If he does not mend the boundaries of his heart?" Kyurem asked.

"That won't happen!" Lugia snapped.

"And if it does?" Kyurem asked coolly.

Lugia shuddered and closed his eyes in regret. "Then we must be ready to do…what is necessary. No matter what the cost."

The three dragon gods nodded in solemn agreement. Victini shivered and shook her head. "Now that's a battle not even _I_ am certain we could win…so let's just hope it doesn't come to that." The war god closed her eyes, licking her lips nervously as a memory of the kind boy who had fed her macarons and freed her from her thousand-year prison flashed through her mind. She didn't want to see another good friend fall to darkness. Not again. Especially not _him_.

_Ash…stay strong. You can overcome this. You can overcome _anything_, _Lugia thought, though whether he was trying to convince Ash, or himself of this, not even he was sure. _I _know_ you can do it…_

…

Team Aurabolt, Team Getem, and the Fantasmas reappeared moments later far away from New Avalon, in another place of jaw-dropping wonder and beauty…although in Zippo's case, his jaw was dropped because he was throwing up all over the grass. "Ugh…I hate Teleporting…" he moaned as a sympathetic Rose massaged his back. Diane hid a smirk but said nothing.

"Welcome to _Chambre de Fantasma,_" Butler said grandly, dramatically sweeping his disembodied arms across the vista around them. "I hope you enjoy your stay."

The heroes were standing at the top of a lengthy cobblestone drive winding its way around a massive lawn sprawling out in all directions covered in grass of an impressive array of colors, divided up in blocks by shade and hue. Topiaries of legendary Pokémon and mythical creatures roamed about grazing on flowers which sprouted from the ground whenever they stopped to eat and withered away after they were done. Several more stationary flowers, mainly of the kind they'd seen covering the fields of Fichina during the train ride, grew in clumps resembling arcane symbols, carefully tended to by dozens of Grass-type Pokémon and strange creatures that looked like they were made of leaves and bits of wood. (As opposed to other Grass-type Pokémon made of leaves and bits of wood.) Statuary of Pokémon resembling Fantina and her daughters, as well as numerous much more abstract and bizarrely-shaped statues covered in mysterious sigils, were placed all over the lawn. Unlike the topiaries, they seemed to stay in one place…except that when you took your eyes off of them for even a moment, they always seemed to be somewhere different from where they had been just a second ago when you looked back again. (Leo and Zippo had gone into screaming fits at this, babbling about weeping angels and shouting for some doctor to save them for some reason.) The numerous flower beds were watered by floating streams similar to the ones they'd seen out in the countryside as well as small clouds maneuvered into place by Flying Pokémon that sprinkled water on the colorful flowers on command. Groves of trees were placed here and there, making sounds that sounded oddly like whispers as their leaves rustled even when their wasn't any wind, occasionally uprooting themselves and walking a few meters away before replanting to get sunlight from a more advantageous spot. Beautiful fountains were placed in the middle of many of the flower beds, water not only spurting from the mouths of statues of Water Pokémon but also flowing out of the fountains and into the air, zigzagging and corkscrewing about in gravity-defying streams before falling down into other fountains or pools occupied by Water Pokémon. Crystals and standing stones jutted from the ground in groups or by themselves sporadically, glowing and emitting a faint hum. Something that looked like a hedge maze was also visible nearby, except that hedge mazes usually weren't three-dimensional cubes floating in the air several meters off the ground. There were also a number of giant trees the size of small houses, giant mushrooms that towered over the trees, and one whopping big flower the size of a skyscraper that rose into the air like the beanstalk from the old fable, only shorter and ending in a giant spread of petals rather than going above the clouds, though a few low-flying clouds did brush against the stem.

Off in the distance, the land took on a somewhat patchwork look as it was divided into more shapes and mystical symbols by grass and flowers of different colors. Many of these patches were occupied by farms or small manor houses, while others had geoglyphs or crop circles that looked more magical than alien in nature. Like most places they'd seen so far in Fichina, floating crystals, gravity-defying rivers, and cloud buildings hovered in the air. Much further away they could see mountains with familiar monolithic figures atop them as well as several wedge-shaped battleships hovering in place nearby, indicating they weren't that far from the capital. The drive they were standing on fed into a road connecting several farms and homesteads spread out below them and continued off in the direction of the mountains surrounding New Avalon, joining up with a highway of sorts that had other roads leading off from it in other directions, presumably to estates like the one they were currently on. The fact that they could see large castles, palaces, and mansions in the directions the roads were heading seemed to confirm this.

Before them, standing just a few feet away from the drive they were standing on, was the _Chambre de Fantasma_, and it was every bit as impressive as the land surrounding it. Rather than being a standard fairytale castle or great sprawling mansion, Fantina's home had a more unique and oddly enticing aesthetic reminiscent of its owner. It was essentially a tower rising from the ground and looming high above them, but most towers stood straight rather than zigzagging and occasionally doubling back on themselves, with numerous smaller towers and wings branching out at every joint in the rising structure's height, eventually turning into a winding helix terminating in a massive platform wider than the tower's base with a magnificent garden covering its surface, along with a smaller and slightly more conventional-looking mansion that wouldn't look out of place in the Franch countryside save for the crystalline spires rising from the top in the center. Water fell from the sides of this great platform, corkscrewing around the tower's exterior and passing through a number of smaller rooftop gardens and openings built in the sides of several of the zigzagging portions to allow it to reach all areas of the domicile. The impossible building was made out of white stone covered in incredibly intricate painted carvings, friezes, frescoes, and icons of magical landscapes and creatures, as well as significant moments in the history of the Fantasma family. Great windows, both stained glass and regular, lined the sides of many of the tower's segments, with lots of terraces, balconies, and hanging gardens jutting out all over the place. Walkways and bridges connected many of the branching towers and wings, and occasionally rotated or rose or lowered themselves on one end to connect to different parts of the building. A number of cloud buildings and floating islands hovered just outside the tower, linked to the main building by stairways made of stone or crystal or rainbows or even water slides branching off from the water flowing down from the uppermost platform. While most of the smaller towers and wings looked similar to the rest of the building, some of the larger ones, jutting out from the building's side like branches of a tree, bore completely different styles and personalities and looked like they could be separate homes in their own right if they were to be somehow separated from the main trunk and were able to land on the ground in one piece. There were seven of these uniquely different wings in all; a small cathedral covered in stained glass windows and holy icons and statues of the gods, a tall and twisting stone tower with horns growing from the sides, a large set of interconnected lush floating gardens with buildings like mausoleums erected on them, a colorful dollhouse that had somehow been grown to the size of a regular house, a smooth-sided wind-sculpted rock formation shaped like a castle with various holes and shafts running through it that allowed the wind to pass through and make beautiful noises, a Gothic mansion, and a complex of temples and statues surrounding a small pyramid that looked like it came straight from Pokégypt. The aforementioned corkscrew river ran through each of these wings on its way to the base of the tower, where it vanished into a hole in the air resembling one of Lily's portals and came out from another one placed high above the platform at the tower's apex, where it flowed down into one of the pools in the garden and started the process all over again.

In short, it was a building that flew in the face of common sense, architectural integrity, and several laws of physics. It was also nothing short of magnificent, if not a little mind-boggling, as some of the more logical-thinking of the heroes soon found as they struggled to comprehend it.

"How…how is…" Pikachu stammered.

"How is that _standing?" _ Sparky cried.

"Magic," Butler said.

"Is that going to be your answer to _everything_ around here?" Pikachu asked.

"Yes," Butler said. "Because here, it kind of is."

Pikachu opened his mouth to say something, considered for a moment, then scowled and closed it. "Good point."

"…I do not even begin to know how to comprehend that," Sasha said, staring blankly.

"Neither do I," Happy said. "So I won't bother trying."

Sasha nodded. "A wise decision."

_What, seriously? Psh, lightweight. If you have trouble with something as simple as this, I wonder what you'd think of _my_ place…_ Darkrai said.

"Quite the impressive residence," Lu said appraisingly as she looked the structure up and down. "I could probably climb all the way to the top of this thing…though what I'd do when I got there, I'm not sure."

_I doubt a fortress like this would be so easy to invade,_ Dawn agreed.

"Wow! Fichina has the coolest stuff!" Tiny said.

"Yeah! Daddy, can we live here?" Cruise asked his father.

Ritchie blinked. "What? No! We have a home of our own waiting for us back in Frodomar City!"

"Does it look anything like this?" the Pupitar asked.

"Well, no…" Ritchie admitted.

"Lame!" Cruise complained.

Tiny looked at Ash expectantly. "Um…my house is shaped like my head?" the Lucario said.

Tiny considered this for a moment. "Okay, I guess that's pretty cool." Ash sighed in relief.

"He's impressed so easily, isn't he? Just like you. What a moron. Like father, like son," Misty said.

"…Dammit," Briney hissed angrily. "I really should have brought Peeko here sooner…"

"Yeah…" Salty muttered.

Briney blinked and threw the Metang a surprised look. "Wait, you were going to bring your wife here to celebrate the birth of your firstborn too?"

"Yeah, how'd you know?" Salty asked in surprise and alarm.

"That's…kind of what I was going to do…" Briney said.

"That's…interesting…" Salty murmured, narrowing his eyes at Briney. The two sailors glared suspiciously at each other. The parallels between their groups really were rather unnerving.

"That is so _cool!_" Leo gushed.

"I know! If Fantina and her kids were evil witches, this place would totally make a great setting for a dungeon! No, a whole _video_ game, with each of those different-looking areas up there making up separate themed levels and boss stages!" Zippo said eagerly.

"Each of zose areas belongs to one of us," Agatha said. "Zey're our own private wings, 'ence why zey look different. Zey're tailored to our personal tastes."

"And Mama 'as ze one on top," Phoebe said.

"Ooh, just like Super Maria Sisters 3!" Leo said.

Zippo nodded. "And New Super Maria Sisters Wii!"

"And any other game featuring the Shroomlings, which hasn't been that many really, despite them being really popular minor villains," Leo agreed.

"Oh yeah, they're completely underrepresented and overshadowed by Bowletta Junior," Zippo said.

"…What are zey talking about?" asked the confused Morticia.

"You do _not_ want to know," Pikachu and Sparky deadpanned.

"Zat's my place right zere," Bow said, pointing to the windswept rock castle. "Suits me, don't you zink?"

"Y-yes, I suppose so," Lily said, overwhelmed by the size and spectacle of the structure in front of her. Mother's lair was _nothing_ like this. And neither she nor Marianne had entire wings to themselves, just cold, hard rooms chiseled out of the ice. "It's…very impressive. And a little intimidating."

"Zanks!" Bow said.

Rose seemed to be having similar thoughts. "My mother and sister and I lived in a dead tree…wouldn't they be jealous to see this place…"

"At least it was probably warmer than the iceberg I grew up in," Lily murmured.

"You're probably right. Except when Winter came," Rose said. "Then again, that was just a few months at a time, whereas you had to live with that kind of weather year-round…I'm sorry."

Lily's eyes were downcast. "So am I." Coming here and seeing all the amazing things in Fichina made it just that much clearer how much she'd missed out on in her childhood thanks to her mother. She found herself wondering if the Draconian Empire held similar wonders and opulence. (It did.)

Seeming to sense her mood, Mirami tenderly put a claw on her shoulder. "Don't worry, Lily. You'll never 'ave to live in a place like zat again."

Lily smiled gratefully. "I know. Thank you."

"Hey, maybe we should adopt 'er and build 'er a wing of 'er own," Shauntel half-joked. "It's about time we 'ad anozzer sister!"

"Yay, zen I won't be ze youngest anymore!" Nefertari cheered.

"Um, she's still a few 'undred years older than you," Agatha pointed out.

"Yeah, but she'll be newer, which means 'er wing will be under mine, so I won't be lowest on ze totem pole anymore!" the Yamask said proudly.

"That-that won't be necessary," Lily stammered, flushing. "Although that's a very kind offer, I wouldn't want to impose."

"Nonsense, it's no problem!" Morticia insisted.

"E-even so, I have other offers of places to live after this is all over," Lily said, reddening. "I…don't know where I'll go yet, but wherever it is, I'll want Leo to be with me."

"Awww, thanks, babe!" Leo said, flattered. "But hey, don't let that get in the way of your moving into a swank place like this! I'd be more than happy to share a wing with you!"

Fantina's daughters regarded Leo skeptically. "I don't know…while we 'ave boys over now and zen, we 'aven't 'ad any zat stayed permanently zat weren't staff…" Phoebe said.

"Well, maybe Leo could be ze first?" Nefertari said.

"I suppose…" Agatha said reluctantly.

"Leo, while we would love to 'ave you, zat may not be necessary…especially once Lily sees what…_ozzer_ options zere are for 'er 'ere in Fichina," Fantina said with an enigmatic smirk. Lily looked at her in puzzlement, but the elder Mismagius said no more.

"So you guys…er, girls…really live here?" Ash asked in wonder.

"Yep! Well, actually we live in a lot of places, considering 'ow many 'ouses Mama 'as, but zis is ze family estate, so we spend ze most time 'ere," Bow said.

Mirami nodded. "As such, it's built much more practically zan some of ze ozzers." They stared at her in disbelief. This thing was _practical?_

"Now I'm both dreading and curious to see what the inside is like…" Sparky muttered.

"We'll be 'appy to show you! Come and see!" Morticia said, gesturing towards the front entrance, a pair of burnished golden doors with the Fantasma crest, a large 'F' comprised of swirling magical vapors and flames and spirits, embossed upon them.

"Well, we came here to get the Plates and that Star Badge thing, and I guess we can't get them standing around out here, so I suppose we might as well," Lu said.

"Sweet!" Zippo and Leo cheered.

"You'll 'ave to go on wizzout me, I'm afraid. Zere's somezing I need to attend to…somezing I would very much like Lily to 'elp me wiz," Fantina said, much to everyone's surprise.

"What? But Mama, you just got 'ere!" Phoebe protested.

"Yes, please don't leave! We missed you so much!" Nefertari cried.

"Don't worry, my dears, I won't be gone long. I just need to borrow Lily for a short while for a matter of great importance," Fantina assured them.

"M-me? Why?" Lily asked in confusion.

"Because it's somezing only you can do," Fantina said firmly. "Somezing zat's been waiting for you your entire unlife, somezing zat should 'ave 'appened a long time ago but did not because of your mozzer…but now zat you are 'ere, an ancient wrong may finally be set right, and glory will be restored to your family's name once again. 'Owever, I cannot do it wizout you, Lily…so will you please come wiz me, for just a little while, so you can receive what is rightfully yours?"

Lily blinked uncertainly. "Um…"

_Go for it! Go for it!_ B urged her.

_Well…okay._ Lily wasn't sure why, but something (other than B) told her that this was important, and something she needed to do. "All right, I'll come." She hesitated, and then glanced worriedly at her friends. "Um…if that's okay with you all, that is?"

Ash nodded. "I don't see a problem with it."

"Except that they're trying to draw your friends off one by one until there's no one left to protect you," Misty said.

"Have fun, Lily!" Tiny said.

"Fantina's shown us time and again she's on the level, so there's no reason I can think of that you shouldn't," Pikachu agreed. "Just don't be gone too long, okay?"

"I won't, I promise," Lily said gratefully.

"Neither will I!" Leo declared, surprising everyone by marching out of the group and standing beside Lily.

"L-Leo?" Lily asked in surprise.

Sasha frowned. "Leo, what are you doing?"

"Going with her, for moral support!" Leo said. "I don't know what exactly she's going into, but I want to be there just in case! It's the kind of thing a good boyfriend does!"

"…Awww, that's so sweet! You'd do the same thing for me, wouldn't you, Zippo?" Rose asked, touched.

"No doubt about it, babe!" the Charmeleon said. "But dude, are you sure you want to go? You'll miss out on seeing this totally rad mansion!"

"It'll still be here when we get back. Probably," Leo said dismissively. Leo paused, and then glanced worriedly at Fantina. "Um, it will be, right? It won't teleport or blast off or grow legs and walk away while we're out, will it?"

Fantina actually thought about this for a moment. "Well, it's not a Wednesday, so no, it should still be 'ere when we get back."

Leo sighed in relief, while the others exchanged slightly worried looks at hearing this. "Thank goodness! Right, then there's nothing keeping me from coming with you!"

"Well, actually," Fantina started. "While it's very nice zat you want to come, zere's no reason to-" She paused when she noticed Bow shaking her head frantically and coiling one of her tendrils back on itself to form a loop. It took only a moment for Fantina to realize what her daughter was telling her, and just slightly longer than that to amend her statement. "On second zought, it may actually be for ze best if you came. Ze magic we're going to be performing could benefit from your presence."

"Sweet," Leo said.

"It could? Oh, that sounds rather advanced…and possibly dangerous…we, um, we aren't going to…" Lily asked anxiously.

"Sacrifice him? No, nozzing like zat," Fantina reassured Lily. "You know I don't do dark magic. Zat's more your mozzer's zing. No, zis is somezing 'e can 'elp wiz just by being zere, serving as a pillar of support for you to fall back on in case you falter or lost faiz in yourself. Not zat you won't, of course, but you know. Just in case."

"Like I said, moral support!" Leo said.

"Oh. Well…okay then. Leo, I would be happy for you to come with us," Lily said thankfully.

"I'd be more worried his being there would disrupt the thing you're doing, but if you really feel that way, then go ahead," Pikachu said. Leo glared at him.

_What exactly _are_ you doing, anyway?_ Dawn asked suspiciously.

"Ah, but zat would ruin ze surprise, wouldn't it?" Fantina laughed with a wink.

Dawn sighed. _Of course it would…_

"It's a _good _surprise, right?" Lily asked worriedly. "Because usually whenever Mother had a surprise for me, it involved something extremely terrifying and painful."

"…You poor zing. No, nozzing like zat," Fantina assured her. "It might seem a bit…unnerving at first, but I guarantee you'll like it."

"Oh," Lily said. She opened her mouth, had a thought, glanced at Leo, and then gave Fantina a suspicious look. "…Wait a minute. You're not trying to coerce me into having sex, are you?"

Fantina looked honestly startled and flustered by this. "Wh-what? Why would you…" She paused, realizing where Lily's train of thought must have been going, and then burst into laughter. "No, no, nozzing like zat, I promise! I mean, if you wanted to swing by ze Temple of Mew sometime I'd be more zan 'appy to take you, but no, zis isn't _zat_ kind of surprise eizzer."

"Oh. Um…all right then," Lily said, flushing in embarrassed relief. "Let's, ah, let's be off, then."

"Certainly!" Fantina said. She whistled. In a blast of flame, a purple carriage with gold trim hitched to a pair of skeletal Rapidash that looked like they were made completely out of fire rather than just being flaming horses appeared out of thin air, the fire horses rearing back and whinnying as they manifested, the heat from their forms scorching the ground and causing everyone to take a few steps back.

"Th-those horses are fire spirits from Muspelheim!" said the astonished Lily.

"Whoa, cool!" Leo said. "Or rather, hot! But not in the sexy way. That's Lily. Not these things," he said quickly, so as to alleviate any suspicion that he might be attracted to the spirits, which he totally wasn't.

"Uh, hey, I don't suppose _I_ could come along too?" Zippo asked hopefully, staring at the fiery monsters from another dimension in awe.

"No," Fantina said. The Charmeleon's face fell. The Mismagius turned to her eldest daughter. "Mirami, you're in charge while I'm gone. Take our friends to ze Vault and retrieve ze artifacts zey came 'ere for. Also make sure zey're comfortable and zat none of zem gets lost and wanders ze labyrinzine corridors of ze 'ouse until zey die of 'unger and de'ydration like zat one zief who snuck in a while back did."

The Sableye nodded as the others exchanged understandably alarmed looks at this statement. "Don't worry, Mama, I can keep everyzing under control so long as ze ozzers don't play any tricks."

"Who, us?" Nefertari asked innocently as she and the other five ghostly daughters put beatific looks on their faces, halos appearing over their heads.

Pikachu blinked. "Where did those haloes come from? I thought that sort of thing only happened in cartoons." Diane started opening her mouth, but the samurai cut her to it. "Oh, right, magic. Forgot." She frowned at him, somewhat miffed that she had been interrupted, but nodded.

Not fooled, Fantina gave her daughters a firm look. "No messing around, any of you. Zese guests are very important and good friends of mine, so if anyzing 'appens to zem I will be very cross. Understand?"

"Yes, Mama," they chorused, looking suitably chastened.

"Good," Fantina said. "Butler, Diane, you 'elp Mirami keep zings in order. We should be back in an 'our or two, after which we'll get ready for dinner and 'ead to ze Queen's castle." The door to the carriage creaked open on its own and a set of stairs magically unfolded, revealing a very plush and extremely comfortable-looking lounge about the size of one of the compartments back in the Enchanted Express, despite the fact that it looked several times larger than the carriage it was somehow inside. By this point, nobody bothered wondering how this could be, even Pikachu, though he had to bite the inside of his mouth to keep from asking a pointless question. "Leo, Lily, shall we?"

"Heck yes! I call window seat!" Leo said eagerly as he rushed up the steps and into the carriage.

Lily blinked in puzzlement. "But they're _all_ window seats…" she muttered as she floated after Leo.

Shaking her head in bemusement, Fantina went in last, the steps folding back up and the door closing behind her. At an unheard and unseen signal, the horses whinnied and set off, pulling the carriage down the drive and leaving burning hoofprints in their wake. Through the windows in the back of the carriage, the heroes could see Lily waving to them, naturally they waved back. (Leo would have waved, but he was busy raiding the well-stocked minibar.)

After the carriage had traveled a fair distance from the manor, Mirami turned to her guests. "All right everyone, shall we go inside and get zings settled?"

Ritchie nodded. "Sounds good to me."

"Yeah, it feels like it's been forever since we last saw a Star Badge!" Tiny agreed.

_Maybe not long enough…_ Ash thought uneasily.

_You'll be fine, Ash. I'm right here for you, and so are your friends,_ Lugia said reassuringly in Ash's head.

_Thanks,_ Ash thought gratefully.

"Which means they'll get to see firsthand what a horrible person you really are," Misty hissed. Ash did not thank her.

Mirami nodded. "Very well, zen. Butler, would you do ze 'onors?"

"It would be my pleasure, milady," the Dusclops said, vanishing briefly and appearing at the top of the steps leading up to the door. He snapped the fingers of a disembodied hand and the doors swung silently inward. He floated backwards through the opening, beckoning as he went, which made sense since he was the Beckon Pokémon. "Come in." The heroes exchanged looks, nodded, and started up the steps while Fantina's daughters flew above them and through the door, laughing and waving for them to hurry up and join them.

What they found upon entering the _Chambre de Fantasma, _the doors (naturally) swinging shut behind them, was not at all what they had expected. What it was that they had expected, none of them were really sure, all they'd known was that it probably wasn't going to look like the interior of your average mansion, and on this they were all correct. They were still surprised, however, by how much it _didn't_ look like the interior of your average mansion, or, in fact, like the exterior of the building they'd just walked into. They were standing on a very large marble terrace with several chairs and tables set between sculptures that didn't move when you weren't looking at them, much to Zippo's relief. The terrace jutted out of the side of a massive vertical shaft running for what looked like miles in either direction, and was perfectly straight, despite the fact that the building looked anything but from the outside. Huge paintings, mosaics, and frescoes in numerous different art styles depicting magical or aristocratic-looking Pokémon of various different species along with landscapes both mundane and fantastical covered much of the walls of the shaft, and what wasn't covered by these pieces of art were niches filled with sculptures of Pokémon and magical creatures, archways and doors of different styles and shapes, and ledges and terraces and balconies similar to their own. The diameter of the shaft was crossed by bridges, staircases, floating platforms, and paths of light currently in use by Pokémon wearing uniforms similar to Butler and Diane's, indicating they were probably servants. These numerous walkways were by no means static, and were constantly rotating and changing their orientation to connect different doorways and openings depending on whoever was currently using the bridge or who was standing in a passage waiting to go across. Those who didn't feel like waiting for a bridge to rotate their way seemed content simply floating their way across to wherever their destination was. Oddly, it looked as if sometimes servants were going into or out of some of the paintings…but surely that was impossible, wasn't it?

Light was provided by floating orbs, magnificent crystal and gold chandeliers hanging from nothing, and elaborate windows of both the stained and regular kind of glass letting in sunlight from outside…although oddly, the exterior sky didn't look the same in every window, nor did the position of the Sun. There were a few windows where it almost looked as if there were more than _one_ Sun outside.

The top of this great shaft was a dome with a magnificent painting of New Avalon at sunset covering it, and the bottom of the shaft, several hundred meters below where they were standing, was covered by a painting of what looked a lot like deep space, with foreign constellations and nebulae and galaxy almost appearing to swirl across the floor. A round stone platform covered in runes with a circular indentation in its surface sat in the middle of this starry expanse, looking rather out-of-place.

The heroes gawked, barely able to take in the impossible spectacle they were staring at. "Pretty impressive, isn't it?" Diane said smugly.

"Welcome to our home!" Mirami said, spreading her arms to take in the entirety of the shaft. "What do you zink?"

"Mon, is Leo going to wish he could see this," Ash murmured.

"…Okay, I think I need to sit down, even _I'm_ having difficulty taking all this in," Zippo said. He started to lower himself to the floor, and was surprised when one of the nearby chairs slid across the floor and placed itself beneath his rear before he could touch the ground. "Oh, thanks."

"No problem," the chair said. By this point a talking chair was the least incredible thing to deal with in this place, so the Charmeleon simply accepted it with a smile rather than freaking out.

"What…how…how is this…" Pikachu stammered incredulously.

"But…outside…the building didn't look…how does this all _fit?_" Sparky cried.

Agatha frowned in concern. "Oh dear…if ze vestibule is enough to get you in such a tizzy, I wonder 'ow you'd react to ze rest of ze 'ouse."

"THIS IS JUST THE VESTIBULE?" the stunned heroes shouted.

"What's a vestibule?" Tiny asked.

"Um, I don't actually know," Ash admitted. Most of the others didn't know what a vestibule was either, but were too embarrassed to admit it.

"Idiot," Misty said.

_It's like a lobby or entrance hall_, Dawn explained.

"Oh, okay. This is just the vestibule?" Tiny cried.

"Yeah, what he said!" Cruise said.

"Yes, and a small one at zat. Well, compared to ze one at ze Queen's castle, anyway," Shauntel said.

"…You know, I think Zippo had the right idea, I need to sit down too," Ritchie said dazedly. Automatically chairs slid towards all of them, and they sat down without a second thought.

"Oh my, if zey're getting zis worked up about our 'ome, will zey be able to 'andle ze Queen's?" Phoebe wondered in concern.

"Well, I'd like to zink zey are," Bow said in the heroes' defense. "But…zis _is_ probably zeir first encounter wiz magic on ze level we're used to 'ere in Fichina…I suppose its understandable zat zey might get a little overwhelmed by it all."

"That's an understatement," Lu said dryly.

"If this is just the vestibule…exactly how big is your house, really?" Happy asked.

"…You know, zat's a good question," Morticia said after a moment's thought.

"I'm not sure it can be measured in units you're familiar wiz, so let's just say it's really big and leave it at zat," Phoebe said. Her sisters nodded in agreement.

"…Don't you think it's a bit, I dunno, excessive? Why do you need a house this big anyway?" Ash asked.

"They're rich. Rich people always have to have the biggest houses," Briney said. "It's how they show off to everyone else how rich they are."

"Mama didn't design ze 'ouse like zis," Bow said defensively.

Mirami nodded. "Zat's correct. It's grown like zis over time, from ze small seed planted by our ancestor upon being granted a title and lands of 'er own centuries ago, new rooms and corridors and wings and all sorts of ozzer zings appearing on zeir own all ze time, wiz little direction from us for ze most part."

"Living 'ere is like an adventure! You never know what new zing will pop up wizout warning," Nefertari said cheerfully. "Why, just ze ozzer day I found a garden wiz a village of pygmy Kangaskhan who worshipped me as a goddess! Such friendly Pokémon."

"Your house…grew? From a seed?" Sasha asked, dumbfounded. "But…I thought buildings were built, not grown. Unless they're trees."

"Buildings in _your_ part of ze world, maybe," Phoebe said. "But 'ere, we use magic to grow some of our biggest and most complex buildings from alchemically-engineered seedlings."

"Why?" an incredulous Pikachu asked.

"Because it's cool," Shauntel said.

"Makes perfect sense to me," Zippo said. Pikachu and Sparky facepalmed.

"So…this building is…alive?" Rose asked, looking around in wonder.

"Well, sort of. It's a different state of existence than what you or I might consider 'alive,'" Diane said. "But it _is_ living, in a manner of speaking."

"Is it like the Tree of Beginning, then?" Ash asked, getting a thought. "Because that was supposed to be alive too, even though it was some big…rock tree…thing."

"Like a Soodowoodo?" Tiny asked.

"No, not like a Soodowoodo," Ash said. "Those are smaller. And walk."

"Our 'ouse can walk! Sometimes," Morticia said helpfully.

"So it _is_ like a Soodowoodo!" Tiny said triumphantly.

Ash opened his mouth to protest, then thought better of it, throwing up his hands in a gesture of defeat and saying, "Yes Tiny, it's like a Soodowoodo."

"Except bigger. And magical. And a building rather than a tree," Sasha said.

"Yes," Ash said.

Sasha frowned. "Which means it's nothing like a Soodowoodo."

Ash facepalmed. He could hear Misty laughing at how he was only digging himself deeper in the back of his mind. "I'm aware of that, Sasha."

"Then why did you say-" a confused Tiny started.

"Welp, I think that was a nice, long sit," Ritchie said loudly as he clapped his paws and rose to his feet. "Now that we're all rested and can look at this place without losing our minds from the sheer improbability of its existence, what say we get down to business and go get the Plates and Star Badge we were promised already?"

"That sounds like a wonderful idea," Ash said as he stood up as well, shooting the other Lucario a grateful look. "So, where do we go from here?"

"I shall arrange transportation. By your leave, Your Grace?" Butler asked Mirami.

The Sableye nodded. "Go a'ead."

The Duclops snapped his fingers. A circular platform shot down from the upper reaches of the vestibule and came to an abrupt halt in the center of the room right in front of the terrace they were standing on. "Come along," he said, floating over to the platform.

Diane, Fantina's daughters, Tiny, Cruise, Rose, Happy, Briney, and Salty followed the Dusclops over to the platform. Ash, Ritchie, Pikachu, Sparky, Zippo, Sasha, Dawn, and Lu did not. "Come on! What're you waiting for?" Briney shouted when he saw the others hadn't moved.

"Quit lollygagging about and get over here!" Salty yelled.

"We can't!" Ash called back.

"Why the Abyss not?" Briney asked in annoyance.

"Because we can't fly!" Pikachu said in exasperation.

"…Oh. Right," Briney said, looking embarrassed.

"Oops," Tiny said Mareepishly.

Diane and the younger of Fantina's daughters giggled. Mirami did not. "Zat is a matter easily remedied," she said, her index claw lighting up as she started moving it through the air, tracing a series of glowing symbols which remained floating in place before her. When she had about a dozen written out, she flicked her wrist, sending them flying away from her. As they spun through the air, they enlarged significantly and flattened out, lining up and stopping in place level with the terrace, creating an interlocking runic bridge of light leading to the platform. The ground-bound heroes stared at it in awe.

"Well, what're you waiting for _now?_" Briney asked in annoyance when they still didn't move.

"Um…is that safe?" Ash asked, referring to the bridge of light.

"It's perfectly safe. Come on already!" Diane said impatiently.

"Um…Sasha?" Pikachu asked, glancing at the Absol.

Sasha looked at the bridge for a moment, lost in thought. "I don't _think_ it's dangerous…"

"Well…all right then, I guess that'll have to do," Ash said reluctantly.

"Don't worry, Ash. I'm sure it's perfectly safe. I'm sure it won't give out halfway and send you tumbling to your death. After all, you can _trust_ these people, can't you?" Misty said. Ash clenched his teeth and started for the bridge, determined to prove her wrong.

Walking forward, he grabbed a nearby statue and cautiously extended a foot over the edge of the terrace, pushing down to place it against the first of the runes forming the bridge. Much to his relief, he felt a solid surface beneath his paw. "It's good!" he shouted back to the others as he let go of the statue and put his full weight on the rune, relieved to find that it felt as sturdy as a regular stone bridge. Sighing in relief, they followed him as he started walking across the bridge towards the platform.

"Told you so," Diane said, looking annoyed. "Mistress, I can't believe they didn't trust your magic…"

"It's all right, it's not like they're used to zis sort of zing back in ze lands outside our own," Mirami said.

After a couple of minutes, the landbound heroes had crossed the bridge in its entirety and climbed onto the platform with everyone else. As Zippo, who had been lagging behind, stepped off the last rune and onto the platform, the bridge faded away. "Ack!" he yelped in alarm.

"How are we going to get back?" Sasha asked in worry.

"I'll make anozzer bridge," Mirami promised.

"Oh, all right then," Sasha said, calming down.

"I would strongly advise that all of you stay away from the edge of the platform," Butler told them as the platform began to gracefully descend towards the bottom of the shaft. "We're going to be performing a very tricky bit of magic in just a moment, and if you want to get through it in one piece with all your body parts intact, you'll stay within the boundaries of the platform, where it's safe."

"Ooh, what's going to happen? Are we teleporting somewhere?" Zippo asked.

"Something like that," Butler said cryptically.

Despite the height of the shaft, they managed to reach its bottom within just a few seconds, although to the passengers of the platform it barely felt like they'd been moving at all. The elevator gently lowered itself into the indentation on the platform rising from the floor, locking into place with a loud click. The runes ringing them on the platform's surface started glowing brightly. The seven daughters of Fantina floated out towards the edges of the elevator they had rode down on and clasped their appendages together, closing their eyes and murmuring incantations under their breath. A feeling of power filled the air, and the heroes instinctively found themselves shuffling towards the center of the platform, sensing that something incredible and potentially dangerous was about to occur. The fact that all the fur on Sasha's back was standing on end helped justify this worrying suspicion.

"What's happ-" Ritchie started.

"Shh!" Diane hissed. "Miladies are concentrating!"

"They cannot be interrupted during this part of the spell or something disastrous will happen. Stay quiet or we'll cast a mute spell on you to make you quiet. Do you understand?" Butler asked coldly. Intimidated, they nodded and kept their mouths shut, even Zippo.

There was a rumble, and the platform beneath their feet began to rotate, nearly throwing them off balance as it began to turn within its indentation, slowly revolving until an arrow carved into its edge that they hadn't noticed before was pointing towards one of the runes on the outer ring of the platform built into the floor. There was a click, and suddenly that rune flashed, glowing even brighter. The platform then started rotating back the way it had come, until the arrow was lined up with a different rune. Another click and that rune grew brighter. As the platform started rotating again in the opposite direction, it slowly dawned on them that they were standing on top of a giant magical combination lock. (Those who knew what a combination lock was, anyway. To everyone else, it was just some big magical contraption beyond their comprehension, which, to be fair, it sort of was.)

One by one, the runes were activated, though not in any pattern the heroes (even Rose, who was pretty much the only one present who knew much about magic) could discern. Finally, all the runes were glowing, and the feel of power in the air grew stronger and stronger until it felt like it was going to crush them, an incredibly oppressive and irresistible force bearing down on them, pushing and pushing until they thought they were going to break…

And then, without warning, the pressure abated. The seven sisters sighed and sagged in place, looking a little worn-out. "It is done," Mirami said, wiping away some sweat.

"Um…what's done?" Cruise asked as slowly everyone got back up.

"Yeah, it doesn't look like anything happened," Zippo agreed.

"The Abyss was that all about?" Briney demanded.

"If you look around you, it should soon become clear," Butler said.

They looked around. "Nope, don't see it. Everything looks the same to me," Ash said.

Sasha frowned. "…Wait. There is something wrong with the floor."

Puzzled, they looked at the ground surrounding the platform. "Huh? What do you mean; it looks exactly…the…same…" Ritchie slowly trailed off as he stared in disbelief at the floor. Or rather, where the floor had _used_ to be.

On the surface, it didn't look like anything had changed. Before they had landed, the floor looked like a scene of outer space. Now, it still looked like outer space, except rather than being a very lifelike painting spread across a horizontal surface the image had now taken on a third dimension, making it appear as if there WAS no floor, rather just an opening leading into the far reaches of the universe.

That was, in fact, almost exactly what had happened.

"What…what the…" Ash stammered.

"Is that…space? As in, actual space?" Pikachu cried.

"It can't be! If it were, we'd all be sucking vacuum right now!" Zippo said.

"That's because it's not outer space, it just looks like it," Butler said.

"Oh, okay then," Zippo said.

"If that's not outer space, what is it?" Tiny asked, eyes wide.

"A Stronghold Void," Diane said.

"A what?" Tiny asked.

Rose gasped. "Oh! I know what those are! They're incredibly secure micro-universes that the most powerful magicians in the world use to store their most valuable and dangerous possessions to make sure that nobody but them can ever access them! They're _really_ difficult to come by, so you need to be extremely wealthy or extremely powerful or both to get one!"

"Well, Fantina probably fits the bill on both of those, so I guess it makes sense that she'd have one," Ritchie admitted.

"…What, seriously? She's got so much stuff she needs a whole other universe to hold it all?" Briney asked incredulously.

"It's not as big as it looks," Butler said.

"How big _is_ it, then?" Pikachu asked.

Butler considered this for a moment. "…Dunno. Might be bigger than the house, might not be. The fact that neither can really be measured very accurately makes it hard to say. Most of it is empty space, though, just like our universe."

"That's a lot of empty space," Sparky commented.

"Another security measure. Makes it harder for any thief that somehow managed to open the portal—which is _impossible_ without one of the Fantasmas present—to get anything of value," Butler said.

"It also makes it more difficult for anything being held down there to escape or to grab anything dangerous," Diane said.

"…You have living things down there?" asked a horrified Happy.

"No," Diane said.

"But you said-" Happy started.

"I said any_thing_, not any_one._ Trust me when I say that nothing down there is alive, or at least, not the way we would consider it alive," Diane said.

"Is it alive in the same way the house is alive?" Cruise asked.

"No. Not even remotely," the Kirlia said. Cruise shivered, not sure why that creeped him out so much.

"There aren't any railings on this platform," Lu commented. "What would happen if we fell off?"

"Nothing good," Butler said.

The assassin sighed. "Yeah, I figured as much."

The seven sisters rose back up, looking a little better after resting for a few minutes. "Ugh, I don't know 'ow Mama always makes zat look so easy," Shauntel complained, stretching her limbs. "She can always get in 'ere on 'er own, but it always takes all seven of us to open ze portal if she's not 'ere."

"Is everyone all right?" Mirami asked, turning to their guests.

"A little freaked out, but yeah, I think so," Ash said.

"Good. Because zings may get even weirder from 'ere on out," Bow warned them.

"Joy," Pikachu said dryly.

"Once again, stay in ze center of ze platform," Mirami said as she and her sisters started gathering their magic to them. "We cannot guarantee your safety should you do ozzerwise, and Mama would be most displeased if anyzing 'appened to you on our watch."

"Zippo, you heard the lady," Sparky said.

Zippo threw up his hands in exasperation. "Why do you always gotta pick on me when people warn us not to do stuff?"

"Because you're the one most likely to fail to heed their warning, next to Cruise," Sparky said.

"Hey!" Cruise said.

"Well, Leo's not here, so at least we don't have to worry on that count," Pikachu commented.

Ash nodded. "Yeah…but Tiny, stick close to me, okay? Even if you see something really interesting or cool down there, don't leave my side."

The Pupitar nodded. "You got it, Daddy!"

Sasha shuddered, her hackles rising. "I do not like the feel of this…"

"Look on the bright side, if it's that difficult for _us_ to get in here, there's no way the Nihilators are going to manage," Briney reasoned.

"That does not make me feel better," Sasha said.

"Eh, suit yourself," the Metang grunted.

The seven Ghosts started humming again, magic swirling around them. The platform trembled slightly and began to lower into the ocean of stars lying beneath them, leaving the incomprehensible _Chambre de Fantasma_ for a realm even stranger than the magical place they had just been in.

"You're really going to do this, aren't you?" Misty asked. Ash did not respond. "You really think this is going to make it all better, don't you?" Although he couldn't see her, he could _feel_ that she was shaking her head. "You poor, deluded fool. This won't save anyone. All you're going to do is realize just what kind of monster you are…and make your friends see it for the first time as well." She laughed bitterly. "I hope you like the truth, Ash, because this one's a real _killer_."

Ash ground his teeth but said nothing, doing his best not to let her get to him. A part of him was worried she was right, that he was making a mistake…but they needed the Star Badge, and somehow he didn't think that being in another _reality_ from the stupid thing would be able to keep it from triggering his next flashback when his friends used it on the Map. So he might as well be there for this, so his friends could support him in person…

And, if need be…to stop him before he hurt anyone.

With these grim thoughts filling his mind, Ash and the others descended into darkness…but it wasn't as black as what was stirring within the Lucario, and he could only hope that whatever truth the Star Badge brought out would chase some of it away, rather than bringing it that much closer to devouring him and everything he held dear.

…

Meanwhile, some distance away…

Lily found the carriage ride quite pleasant. As their magical conveyance drove down the road through the Fichinan countryside, she was able to see all sorts of remarkable places and people through the windows of their coach as they passed by. Fantina seemed to know just about everyone they saw on the road, and often opened the window to call salutations and greetings to her friends whenever they came into view. She always dragged Lily over to introduce her to her neighbors and tenants, and the Misdreavus did her best not to make a fool of herself in front of her mentor's friends. Although she didn't get more than a moment to get acquainted with any of them due to the speed at which they were traveling, the Pokémon they encountered seemed perfectly friendly and accepting of her presence, and more of the tension coiled up inside her unwound a bit at the realization that nobody was judging her or blaming her for her mother's sins…or for her own. More and more she found herself warming up to Fichina, and realized she could easily picture herself living in this magical country once their journey was over…assuming Leo was amenable to it, of course. She didn't want to leave his side, and knew she wouldn't be happy anywhere _he_ wasn't happy, and while he seemed to find Fichina as incredible a place as she did, she was worried that in time his inability to use magic like pretty much everyone else here could would gnaw away at his heart and cause him to grow bitter and envious. That was something she could not Beartic to think about for very long, lest she be filled with anxiety all over again.

And speaking of Leo, he'd been oddly quiet since they left the mansion. While he was looking out the windows with her, and listening intently as Fantina introduced her friends to them or explained the history and attributes of the places and landmarks they saw, he wasn't acting nearly as energetic as usual, and his trademark babble of things that she didn't really understand but loved listening to him talk about anyway was oddly silent. He wasn't even taking nearly as many pictures as he usually did, only snapping one photo every now and then rather than taking several dozen of the same thing, and he didn't bother trying to get in any of the pictures, either! "Leo, are you all right?" she asked finally.

He blinked and looked at her in honest surprise. "Huh? Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"It's just…you've been acting a little different. Not like yourself," Lily confessed.

"Oh…uh, sorry," Leo apologized. "It's…look, it's nothing for you to worry about. There's something on my mind. Something important I've gotta do. I'm trying to psych myself up to do it."

"Oh!" Lily said in concern. "What is it?"

"Heh…sorry babe, but that's a secret," he said with a smirk.

Lily frowned. "Just like our destination…why are you both hiding something from me?"

"Because we don't want to spoil ze surprise," Fantina said, winking at Leo, who grinned. "Don't worry, Lily, I'm almost certain you'll like my surprise…and even if you don't, I can _guarantee_ you'll like Leo's."

"Yeah! Assuming you don't have a freakout like you did the first time I kissed you," Leo said. He frowned, a worried look forming on his face. "Um…you aren't going to do that, are you?"

Lily blinked. "That…depends. What are you going to do?"

"Well…uh…" Leo dithered for a moment before shaking his head. "Nah, never mind. You'll see soon enough. But, uh, Fantina?"

"Yes?" the Mismagius asked.

"If you could, like, keep Lily from running away or anything when I spring my surprise, I'd really appreciate it," Leo said.

Fantina had to stifle a laugh. "Certainly, Leo. You can count on me." Lily frowned at both of them, but neither of them was particularly forthcoming. Still, Leo started acting a bit like his usual self after that, and for a time Lily forgot her previous concerns as all three of them enjoyed spending time together traveling across Fichina.

As time passed, they saw fewer and fewer people as they left the lands under Fantina's control and headed into more mountainous terrain. While the temperature in the carriage stayed the same due to magic, Lily could tell by looking out the window that they were entering chillier climates, as frost started forming on the grass and she could see snow on nearby mountaintops and slopes. There were also more Ice Pokémon about, and she thought she could see a few ice spirits drifting through the trees, causing her to shudder slightly at the memories it brought back of their intense battle in Dusty Ditch…and of the ice age her mother had brought down on the poor settlement. Why would they possibly be coming somewhere like this, that would remind her of her mother?

She got her answer soon enough when she spotted a sign planted on the side of the road pointing in the direction they were going with the words 'Yukihimi Estate' inscribed on it. Eyes widening in horror, Lily whirled on Fantina. "You're taking me to my mother's old home?"

Fantina winced. "Darn, forgot zat sign was zere. Yes Lily, zat's where we're going."

"But…but why?" Lily cried, feeling confused and a little betrayed.

"Because it is somezing you must see. It is a part of you, and as ze last sane Yuki'imi alive—well, undead—it is yours by right of in'eritance," Fantina said.

"No!" Lily said, shaking her head furiously. "I want nothing to do with anything from my mother's past!"

"_I_ am from your mozzer's past, Lily," Fantina said sternly, eyes narrowing. "Does zat mean you want nozing to do wiz me, eizzer?"

"N-no!" Lily stammered, backpedaling. "That's not-"

"Lily, your mozzer was a 'orrible person, and nobody knows zat better zan ze two of us," Fantina said with a sigh. "But before she brought shame and destruction to 'er family, ze Yuki'imis were a noble and ancient line, one of ze founding families of Fichina, and some of ze best and brightest souls I 'ave ever been lucky to meet. While I 'ave no problem wiz you denying your mozzer's evil, by denying 'er family—_your_ family—you are denying an important part of your 'eritage, one zat doesn't necessarily 'ave to be tainted by Bellum's sins." Her face softened. "Do you really not want to know more about where your family came from? About ze good people who came before you who, indirectly, led to your creation?"

"They led to my mother's creation, too," Lily said bitterly.

"Every family, even one as good as ze Yuki'imis, 'as zeir monsters," Fantina said sadly. "Not even my own family is entirely free of darkness."

Lily blinked in surprise. "What? But…but you and your daughters, you're so _nice_ and friendly, how can-"

"I 'ave seven daughters," Fantina said abruptly. "If zings 'ad gone differently, zere might be eight."

Lily gave her a confused look. "I don't understand."

"After Phoebe but before Bow, I had anozzer daughter," Fantina said quietly, closing her eyes as a look of sorrow passed over her face. "I loved 'er dearly, just as I loved 'er sisters. I taught 'er magic, just as I taught 'er sisters. I treated 'er wiz kindness as respect, just as I treated 'er sisters, trying not to show favoritism to any of zem so zat zey knew I loved zem all equally."

"And then she turned evil," Leo said.

Fantina and Lily looked at Leo in surprise. "'ow did you know zat?" the Mismagius asked, shocked.

"Seemed like the obvious conclusion to draw," Leo said with a shrug, although he didn't look happy to be right about this for a change.

"She…became evil? Why?" Lily asked, having trouble believing any daughter could turn on a mother as wonderful as Fantina.

"Even to zis day, I really don't know," Fantina said unhappily. "I tried not to spoil 'er too much, since I knew zat was part of what led to Bellum's fall to darkness, but I also made sure to always let 'er know zat she was unconditionally loved and cared for. But…I guess zat just wan't enough for 'er, just as being ze future Duchess of Fichina wasn't enough for Bellum. And so, just like Bellum, my beloved daughter tried to do somezing terrible."

"…What happened to her?" Lily asked quietly.

"She is no longer wiz us," Fantina said.

"…Um, when you say that, do you mean she's _dead_, or banished, or…?" Leo asked.

"She is no longer wiz us," Fantina repeated rather curtly, glaring at the Squirtle. He Clamperled up, getting the message.

"I…I did not know," Lily said.

"I'm somewhat surprised, I would 've zought it would be somezing Bellum would 'ave been cheering and telling everyone about…" Fantina said unhappily. "Still, we did our best to cover ze 'ole sordid mess up, so eizzer she bought ze story we came up wiz to explain'er disappearance or just didn't care."

"I am very sorry," Lily said softly.

"So am I, dear," Fantina said. She took a deep breath, and gazed at the Misdreavus. "Ze point of zat story, Lily, was to show you zat even zough your mozzer is one of ze worst Pokémon to ever be born…ze family zat produced 'er was anyzing but, and to zis day I still consider 'er murdering 'er own kin and depriving ze world of zeir brilliance one of ze worst zings she 'as ever done. I understand perfectly why you would want to distance yourself from your mother, Lily. Anyone would, in your position. But by and large ze Yuki'imis were nozing like Bellum, and so do not deserve to be reviled like she is. Zeir legacy belongs to you, ze first Yuki'imi to be allowed back into Fichina since your mozzer's banishment. You _deserve_ it, not only because you are descended from zem, but because you are more a child of zat family zan your mozzer ever was. Do you not want zat 'eritage? A true family, unlike what you grew up wiz?"

"I already have a family. And they're all still alive," Lily said firmly, causing Leo to squeal happily.

"Zat you do, and a fine one at zat," Fantina conceded. "But a Pokémon can 'ave more zan one family, Lily. And while ze Yuki'imis of ze past are gone, zeir legacy lives on in you…as does zeir power."

Lily blinked in surprise. "Their power?"

"Ze Yuki'ims were one of Fichina's founding families. As such, zey 'ad a great deal of magic, passed down from generation to generation," Fantina explained. "Your mozzer was 'eir to zat magic, but when she was banished from Fichina it was forever removed from 'er grasp. But…no such ban exists on you, Lily. As a _true_ Yuki'imi, you may in'erit ze power your mozzer was denied."

"But…I don't want power!" Lily protested.

"Not even to defeat Bellum? Or to protect ze people you care for?" Fantina pressed.

"…I almost beat Bellum before…" Lily said.

"Yes, you did, and I am very proud of you for it. 'owever, you 'ad my 'elp zen, and next time you meet 'er I might not be zere," Fantina pointed out. "If you want to be able to match 'er ze next time you fight, you will need more power…and ze magic zat is yours by right can 'elp you become strong enough to defeat 'er once and for all."

Lily frowned in thought. "Well…when you put it that way…"

Fantina smiled. "I zought zat might do ze trick."

"But…do you really think I am worthy of this power?" Lily asked uncertainly. "That I won't…I won't go mad, like Mother, or your daughter?"

"Lily, zere are few people ozzer zan you zat I zink could ever be entrusted wiz it," Fantina said so confidently that Lily actually found herself believing it in spite of herself. "So…will you do it? Will you accept your in'eritance?"

Lily chewed her lip in thought for a moment. "…All right. But because of my friends, not the Yukihimis. I never met them, and even if they are as good as you say they were, the fact that they produced my mother still makes me wary of them. But if by accepting their legacy I can become strong enough to protect my friends and make sure my mother never hurts anyone else again…then I'll do it."

"Atta girl, Lily!" Leo cheered as he hugged her, causing her to blush. "I knew you'd do it!"

"As did I," Fantina said. "And Lily, while I know zat you are doing it for your friends and not for ze sake of ze Yuki'imis, I am gratified zat you are willing to do zis because it may 'elp to restore 'onor to your family's name, which 'as been badly tarnished due to ze actions of your mozzer."

"All I care about is doing whatever is necessary to protect the Pokémon I care about," Lily said, hugging Leo fiercely, much to his delight. "If that restores my family's name in the process, that's all right too, but it's not my primary concern."

"Zat's fine," Fantina said. "It's not my main concern eizzer, but I would be very 'appy if it 'appened, all ze same. I respected your grandmozzer a great deal, even if she was never able to…properly discipline your mozzer or keep 'er from doing ze zings she did."

Lily frowned but didn't say anything in reply to that. Instead, she asked, "Leo, now that I know Fantina's surprise, I don't suppose you're willing to tell me yours yet?"

Leo shook his head. "Nope! Now I'm even more determined to keep it a secret, so you get surprised by at least _one_ thing while we're out here! I promise though, this one's gonna be a doozy!"

Lily's eyes widened. "Even bigger than going to my family's old estate?"

"WAY bigger!" Leo assured her. "You're gonna love it!...At least, I hope you will…"

"If it's from you, Leo, I'm sure I will," Lily said, kissing him on the cheek and causing him to turn red while Fantina made an unladylike squeal, much to her embarrassment. "So, um, how much longer until we get there?" she asked, turning red herself as she realized what she'd just done.

As if on cue, the carriage came to a stop and the door opened, the stairs unfolding to the ground. "We're 'ere," Fantina announced.

They stepped out (well, Leo stepped, the other two hovered) of the carriage and found themselves in yet another one of Fichina's many picturesque settings. They stood at the shore of a large crystal-clear lake nestled between a few snowy mountains with a large glacier going right down to the edge of the water. As they watched, a big chunk of ice broke off from the glacier and fell into the lake with a splash, causing ripples to spread out across the water's surface and small waves to lap against the sandy shore just meters away from where they had disembarked from the carriage. Unlike most of the lakes they'd seen so far in Fichina, this one was oddly empty; there were no mystical structures rising from its depths, and no signs of life whatsoever in either the lake or on the mountainslopes or in the trees at the lake's edge. This strange absence of life caused the lake to seem strangely sad and lonely…as if it had lost something important long ago, and there was no guarantee that it would ever come back. Lily found herself sniffling and feeling unfathomably sad without understanding why, something in her…_resonating_ with this place and its aching loneliness.

Leo was sniffling too, but it was less from a strange sadness and more because a very cold wind blew down from the mountains and caused him to shake and shiver. "Ack! K-kind of c-c-c-cold up here! Th-then again, I'd expect n-nothing less fr-from the world's biggest ice b-bitch's old haunt!"

"Leo! Zat is no way to refer to zis 'allowed place!" Fantina said harshly.

Leo rolled his eyes. "Fine, fine, 'Bellum's old place.' That any better?"

"Marginally," Fantina said.

"Here, let me warm you up, Leo," Lily said, casting a heating spell on the Squirtle. His temperature rose and his shivering stopped within seconds.

"Ah, thanks babe," Leo said in relief. "Of course, if you hadn't done that, I'd just have whipped out my good ol' Thermonuke and turned it up to one of the lower settings. Or gotten out my winter gear."

"I would prefer you keep zat contraption of yours firmly in your shell," Fantina said warily. "I saw what your ozzer one did to zat frost giant. It's a menace to society."

"I know! Isn't it great?" Leo asked, completely missing the point. Fantina shook her head wearily.

Lily frowned. "Fantina? Something is…strange. I've never been here before, but…it feels…"

"As if you 'ave known it all your life?" Fantina asked.

Lily nodded. "Exactly. I think I've even had a few dreams of this place…but it looked…different…"

"It's ze magic in your blood. Er, ectoplasm," Fantina said sagely. "Ze power 'ere was calling to you from ze day you were old enough to cast your first spell. It 'as been waiting centuries for you, ze last true Yuki'imi, to come 'ere and restore it to what it once was."

"I feel…like this place is where I belong," Lily agreed, staring at the lake. "Like it's…where I'm supposed to be. Like this place is…home." She blinked, and then smiled slowly, starting to tear up again. "I…I've never had a home before…not a _real_ one, anyway…"

"Not to disparage you girls or anything—this is a nice place and all, if a little chilly—but it doesn't quite seem like the kinda place someone like Lily or even Bellum would live," Leo interjected, glancing around the lake and the surrounding mountains. "Or is it invisible? Buried under that glacier or something?"

"When Bellum was cast out of Fichina, ze enchantments sustaining ze Yuki'imi family 'ome failed, and ze manor melted," Fantina said. "Zat lake you see is all zat remains."

"Ah. That would explain it," Leo said, kneeling down to take a closer look at the water lapping the shore.

"This is all that's left? Then…what am I supposed to do?" Lily asked in puzzlement.

"You will restore it to its true form," Fantina said.

"How? My specialty is fire magic, not ice," Lily pointed out.

"Zat may be so, but you are still a Yuki'imi. Ice power, or ze potential for it, runs in your ectoplasm," Fantina said.

Lily made a face. "I don't like the sound of that. I don't want to use the same power as my mother."

"Ice magic is no more inherently evil zan fire magic," Fantina pointed out. "After all, your spells can be used to kill and destroy just as easily as zey can 'elp, like 'ow you warmed up Leo just now, can't zey?"

Lily winced. She had in fact used her fire magic to kill and destroy in the past, on her mother's behest. _Using ice magic isn't going to suddenly turn you into your mother or anything, Lily_, B said in herhead. _After all, it wasn't ice that drove her evil; it was her desire to dabble in darker magic. And _you'll _never do that, will you?_

_Certainly not!_ Lily said, shocked.

_Well there you go, then. What's the problem? _B said.

…_I suppose you are right,_ Lily admitted reluctantly. _Very well. I'll…I'll try._

_Good girl,_ B said warmly. _You've come a long way since we first met, you know that. I'm very proud of you. I look forward to the day when we can finally meet face-to-face, and I can at last tell you who I really am. That day is not too far off from now, I think._

_Really? Well…I look forward to it as well,_ Lily said, beginning to smile. _You have been my friend for as long as I can remember. It will be a pleasure to finally meet you and introduce you to my other friends._

_I look forward to meeting them too. Now go on,_ B urged. _There is something important you must do._

_I understand,_ Lily said. Out loud, she said, "All right. What do I need to do?"

Fantina smiled, pleased that Lily had accepted this task. "Come wiz me," she said, floating along the lake shore towards a Golurk standing some distance away, staring vigilantly out across the water.

Leo blinked when he saw their destination. "Lily, was that Golurk there a minute ago?"

"I…am not certain," Lily admitted.

"Heh. Neat," Leo said.

They walked (and floated) after Fantina, never staying far from each other's side. It only took them a few moments to reach the immobile Golurk that had appeared from out of nowhere. The Automaton towered over them at a hulking ten feet, its unusual blue-white armor looking rather dull and uncared for due to the large degrees of tarnish and rust covering most of its form. Clearly it had not been tended to or tended to itself in a very long time. The steady glow from the symbols on its knuckles and shoulders, its eyes, and the large crack running across its chest, however, indicated that it was still very much alive (or at least active) despite its poor condition. There were rather more cracks in its armor than most Golurk possessed, however, and the light emanating from its body was a little dim.

"Whoa…this thing looks _ancient_," Leo murmured to himself in amazement. "Thousands of years, even! I'd heard that there were a few Golurk from the world before that managed to somehow survive the big cataclysm a thousand years ago by hiding themselves underground, making them among the few Pokémon who weren't killed in that disaster…but I never thought I'd run into one!"

"It looks _terrible_," said the dismayed Lily. "What's happened to it?"

"A few hundred years of standing vigil without moving from this spot or bothering to keep up proper maintenance will do that to a being," the Golurk said abruptly, its voice sounding much like the noise of ice breaking off a glacier. (Or was that because some more ice had just fallen off the glacier right then?)

"O-oh! Sorry…" Lily stammered, blushing.

"You know, I've got some oil, metal polish and Rust-Away that could clear up most of your problems in just a few minutes," Leo offered.

"A generous offer, but unnecessary," the Golurk said, its head slowly and noisily turning to regard them, causing Leo and Lily to flinch as the grating sound of poorly-maintained metal rubbing against itself filled their ears. "I failed in my duty to maintain the Yukihimi household, and so I am unworthy of receiving maintenance myself."

Lily's eyes widened in realization. "You are one of the servants of the Yukihimi household?"

"I am. Or rather, I was. I am the last," the Golurk said solemnly. "All the others left or died long ago."

"But not you. Why are you still here?" Leo asked.

"I am bound to this place. After the cataclysm, I was unearthed from my place of slumber by the Yukihimis and charged to serve and protect their family. I failed in that task, and so may never leave," the Golurk said sadly.

"What? That's terrible!" Lily cried.

"It is 'ere of its own choice, Lily," Fantina said quietly.

Lily blinked in surprise. "What do you mean?"

"When Bellum murdered her family and ze 'ouse'old melted, ze magic binding our friend 'ere to zis plane faded as well," Fantina explained.

Leo frowned. "But that means it should be able to leave anytime it wants…why hasn't it?"

"Penance," the Golurk said. "I have protected and cared for the Yukihimis since even before they became one of Fichina's founding families. I saw the darkness inside of Bellum growing from a young age in the way she treated her servants and siblings, but did not believe it my place to interfere. Had I intervened sooner, had I brought the matter up more forcefully to her mother and convinced her to stop turning a blind eye to what her daughter was becoming, it is possible that the Yukihimis might still be here this day. While no geas binds me any longer to this land, my guilt is just as strong an anchor tying me to this world. I will not leave this spot until either my physical form deteriorates completely…or the Yukihimi family is somehow restored to its former glory. Since it is unlikely either outcome will happen anytime soon, I will remain here for quite some time to come."

"…That is…very sad…" Lily said quietly, finding herself on the verge of tears again.

"Wow. Talk about undying loyalty…" Leo said in amazement.

Fantina nodded sadly. "I 'ave tried many times over ze years to convince it to come work for me, or at ze very least to move about and stop letting itself die a slow, lonely deazz. Every time it 'as refused. It will not be swayed from its decision. Its determination is…razzer admirable, if not a little 'eartbreaking."

"Does it…do _you_ have a name?" Lily asked the Golurk.

"I did," the Golurk admitted. "But I forsook that name when I failed my duty. I was no longer worthy of it, and so I am nameless."

"Alone, nameless, and dying…what a depressing combo…" Leo murmured.

"But per'aps not for much longer," Fantina said, her face starting to brighten. "My old friend, it 'as been a long time since last I came 'ere. What do you zink of my young companions?"

The Golurk ponderously regarded Leo and Lily for a moment. "The Squirtle possesses no magic. How peculiar. What is a Pokémon from the outside world doing here, in magic's sanctuary?"

"I came with her," Leo said, jerking a thumb at Lily, who blushed.

"Hmm. I see. And you…a new daughter of Fantina's? No…wait…something about you seems…familiar…" The Golurk stared at Lily for several seconds until she started growing a little uncomfortable. "No…it cannot be…your magic is…!"

"Zat's right. She is a Yuki'imi," Fantina said.

"Impossible! Bellum was the last…and while I had heard she bred, how could one of her children possibly be allowed back into Fichina?" the Golurk asked incredulously.

"Because…because I am not my mother!" Lily said. "Because I don't want to be like her. Because I want to be good, and have friends and love and happiness and-and all the things normal Pokémon have! Because I want to _save_ the world, not destroy it like she does!"

"Yeah, you tell it, Lily!" Leo cheered.

"…I see. You are your mother's daughter, but you are _not_ like your mother," the Golurk said, regarding Lily curiously. "There is darkness inside you, but it is not of your own creation or choosing…to think that she would do something like that to her own child…!" It shook its head angrily, causing them to wince again as rusty metal scraped and flaked off. "I am profoundly sorry for what has happened to you, little Mistress. How did you manage to escape your mother's grasp, and wind up under the care of one of her greatest enemies?"

"That is a very long story…but suffice it to say that I would not be here now were it not for my dear friends…or Leo, to whom I owe more than I can possibly say," Lily said, smiling at Leo, who grinned.

"You are most definitely not like your mother," the Golurk observed, seeing the clear love existing between the two Pokémon. "She was incapable of the emotion you are experiencing. It has been a long time since I have been in the presence of a Yukihimi who retained that capacity…or any, for that matter. You are a true descendant of your line, and I am honored to meet you."

"Um…thank you?" Lily said uncertainly.

"I would give you a tour, little Mistress, but I'm afraid that I'm in no condition to do much of anything at the moment," the Golurk said. "And there isn't really much more to what you see than what lies before you. However, if there is anything else I can do for you, I am honor-bound to assist you."

"She 'as come to collect 'er in'eritance," Fantina said.

"…I see. Is this true?" the Golurk asked.

"If…if you mean my family's power…the power I need to defeat my mother…then yes, I am," Lily said. "I know you probably won't like to hear this, but…I don't really know much about the Yukihimis, and while I've heard a lot of great things about them from Fantina, I'm not sure how much I want to be a part of them, especially considering what happened with my mother. But…if accepting that part of me will give me the strength I need to save the world…then I am willing to take up the family name, and whatever else that heritage bestows upon me."

"Your mother would simply have demanded this power, and I would not have given it to her," the Golurk said. "The fact that you are uncertain, and are willing to use it only out of necessity, proves to me that you are worthy. However…your element is wrong. Fantina, are you certain that she can handle it?"

"Even if her soul is attuned to fire, her ectoplasm still bears ze Yuki'imi genome, or whatever it is we Ghosts 'ave instead of DNA. Zerefore, she should be compatible," Fantina said.

"Hmm. Very well." The Golurk struggled to move its arms for a moment, but wasn't able to get very far, and the cacophony created by its attempts to make its rusted joints move caused several rockslides and broke off more large chunks of glacier into the lake. "Ah…it would seem we have a slight problem. I need to remove the seal on my chest to grant Lily the power that has been left with me, but I am currently unable to do it by myself."

"All right. Let me just-" Fantina started, extending a tendril.

The Golurk shook its head loudly. "The seal can only be removed by a Yukihimi. Lily, if you could?"

"Um…all right," Lily said, floating up to the Golurk and staring at the bandage-shaped seal over the crack in its chest for a moment. She frowned, then cautiously extended one of her hairs, magic crackling around its tip, and poked the seal in what her instincts told her was a weak spot. She jumped back when there was a spark, shocking her mildly. Without warning, the seal shattered, and the Golurk grunted as a tremendous blast of light and energy surged out of the now-unbound crack, engulfing Lily. "Aaaahhhh!"

"LILY!" Leo cried, starting towards his girlfriend.

Fantina held him back. "It's all right, Leo. She's not in any danger."

"You call getting a face-full of Golurk life-force not in danger?" Leo yelled incredulously.

"Yes," Fantina said.

Leo considered this for a moment. "Oh. Okay then."

The Golurk was shaking and rattling, flakes of rust falling off its body as it struggled to control the flow of energy gushing from its chest. "Nnng…gaaahhh…hold…hold on…agh!" With visible effort, it managed to draw the energy back into itself, the eerie greenish light reversing on itself and flowing back into the crack on its chest, the seal reforming over the fissure. The Golurk panted for a moment, its armor sagging and creaking. "That…that's better…Mistress…are you…all right?"

Lily dazedly shook her head, blinking to try and clear the stars from her eyes. "I…I think so…what was…" She stopped in mid-sentence, suddenly noticing that not _everything_ that had flown out of the Golurk's chest had gone back inside the Automaton's body. Floating before her was a magnificent white rod with silver filigree and a crystal shaped like a snowflake at its tip. Ice chips and snowflakes were swirling around it, and it was pulsing with a soft white light. "Oh…oh my. What is this?"

"Ooh, is that a magic wand? It is! It's a real magic wand!" Leo said giddily.

Fantina nodded, a look of reverence on her face. "Ze Yuki'imi wand…one of ze legendary artifacts used by ze founders of Fichina to reroute ze ley lines and bring our country into existence."

"I…I can hear it…" Lily whispered. "It's…calling to me…"

"Uh, is that normal?" Leo asked in concern.

"I don't really know," Fantina admitted. "But it can only be used by a Yuki'imi, which Lily is, so it probably senses her and wishes 'er to become its master."

"Can she? I mean, that thing looks ice-based, and…you know, that's not Lily's thing…" Leo said.

"Ze wand has ze power to significantly amplify ze strengzh of any spell zat it is used to cast. While it was designed wiz practicioners of cryomancy in mind, zeoretically magicians of any field or element should be able to use it," Fantina said.

Leo frowned. "Theoretically?"

"Well, only Yuki'imis ever used it, and zeir specialty was ice, so zere wasn't much testing done to see if it worked well wiz ozzer elements," Fantina said. "'Owever, I don't zink it will be a problem for Lily."

"…I hope you're right…because I think she's about to do something with it!" Leo said as Lily reached out with her magic, the wand's glow brightening as she brushed against it with her own power.

"I…I can feel it…I feel its power, its…purity…" Lily whispered. "Is…it really all right for me to have this?"

"Do you want the wand?" the Golurk asked.

"Yes! Yes, I do!" Lily said, surprising herself with her own vehemence.

"And does the wand want you?" the Golurk asked.

Lily looked at the rod, which was pulsing warmly. "I…believe it does…"

"Then there is one last formality before the wand, and everything else that is your heritage, will accept you as the true heir of the Yukihimis," the Golurk said. "Do you, Lily Yukihimi, accept the title of Mistress of the household, and all the power and responsibility that comes with it?"

Lily stared. "Wh-what? Mistress of…me?"

"There are no other Yukihimis who can accept this role," the Golurk said. "Your mother and sister are evil, and unfit for it. You, on the other hand, share the same kindness as your ancestors, the nobility of spirit that helped them to become such a great house. The Yukihimi name has languished in recent centuries due to your mother's actions…but under your guidance, it can become great again."

"I-I don't know…I'm not sure I'm _ready_ for such-" Lily started, fidgeting nervously.

"All the resources of the Yukihimi family will also be yours by right of inheritance, and can be used however you see fit," the Golurk interjected.

Lily blinked at this. "Resources?"

"I think he means moolah, babe, and loads of it!" Leo said, grinning eagerly.

"Not to mention there are a number of powerful…entities who swore their service to your family long ago. They departed upon the Yukihimi household's destruction, but now that you have returned, you can call upon them to once more fulfill their ancient oaths to your family," the Golurk said.

"Entities? Like…Shivhel?" Lily asked distastefully.

The Golurk shook its head. "Nothing as vile as that being. But things similar to her, yes. Creatures who may be of great help to you in your quest to save the world and stop your mother and erase the blight she has brought upon your family's name once and for all."

Lily perked up at this. "These resources and allies…I can use them to help my friends?"

"If that is your wish," the Golurk said.

"It is," Lily said, a look of resolve forming on her face. "I'm…not sure about everything else you're talking about, or whatever duties or responsibilities becoming leader of the Yukihimi family—not that there's much left of it at the moment—will entail, but…but if it will help my friends…then I'll do it. I'll take up the title, and everything that comes with it, if it means I can help the people I care about!"

"Then it shall be so," the Golurk said gravely.

Much to Lily's surprise, the wand started glowing brighter and brighter. An incredibly complicated-looking spell seal appeared on the ground beneath her, glowing with the same light as the wand and pulsing in tune with it. "Wh-what? What's happening?' she said in alarm.

"The wand has accepted you as its master and new head of the Yukihimi clan. And because of this…something else that has gone without a master for far too long is finally returning," the Golurk said.

Lily flinched back in surprise as the snowflake at the top of her new wand erupted in a magnificent flare of pure white light. "A-aahhhh!"

"Oooohhh," Leo said, glad he was already wearing his sunglasses so he didn't have to worry about getting blinded.

"Oh, Lily…_C'est tellement beau!"_ Fantina whispered.

An identical spell seal appeared on the surface of the lake, except this one was much larger in scale. The water started shimmering and thousands of runes flickered across the slopes of the glacier and surrounding mountains. The ground started rumbling faintly, and more rocks and chunks of ice tumbled down into the lake as the trees shook and rustled and the wind began blowing stronger. "I'm guessing from all this dramatic buildup something big is about to happen!" Leo shouted to be heard over the raging wind.

"You would be correct!" the Golurk shouted in reply. "Behold! Look at the lake!"

They did. They saw the spell seal growing brighter and brighter, until without warning, the water exploded upwards, surging into the air and rising several meters above them. As they gawked in wonder, the great cascade of water stopped at the peak of its ascent, and, rather than fall, just _stood_ there in defiance of the laws of physics. More runes and glyphs flickered in the depths of the great mass of physics-defying water, and then rearranged themselves to form a complex three-dimensional figure resembling a building. The water seethed and collapsed upon itself, but rather than falling back into the lake with an enormous splash that would have drenched the four standing on its shore, the liquid stopped when it reached the framework created by the aligned runes inside it. It conformed to the lines of that incomplete structure, molding itself to precisely fit its specifications and dimensions. It now looked like a massive palace of some sort, made completely out of water.

"Okay, that is _really_ cool," Leo said after a moment, staring at the 'building' in disbelief. "I bet that chump Manaphy couldn't have made anything this nice even when he still had control over the Crown of the Sea!"

"That…is that…the Yukihimi family home?" Lily asked incredulously.

"It is indeed. And it is yours now, Mistress," the Golurk said.

"Um…that's very nice, but, ah…it seems to be made of water. Is it supposed to be like that? Because if it is I'm not sure how all my friends are supposed to go in. Well, without me casting an underwater breathing spell, that is," Lily said.

"Or me giving them oxygen masks," Leo agreed.

"It's not finished yet," Fantina observed, noticing that the water was still trying to shape itself to match the blueprints created by the runic framework, gaining more complexity and detail as they watched.

"Indeed it's not," the Golurk said. "It shouldn't take much longer, though."

He was right. The runes lit up again, and emitted a brilliant flash of light…

And when the light faded, the ancestral residence of the Yukihimis stood before them, the water having flash-frozen to look like the building the spell framework had suggested, but all the more incredible for being solid and real rather than an amorphous glob of liquid matter. Standing before them where the lake had once been was a huge palace made completely out of ice that was infinitely better-looking than the one Shivhel had emerged from the previous day. Sunlight glistened off of crystalline spires and onion domes rising into the air, interconnected by elegantly gleaming cables of ice that were interwoven together to form graceful loops and arcs in the air. Sculptures of regal-looking Ice-type Pokémon and creatures that looked like they were from Niflheim and other icy planes stood atop columns and rooftops and looked out from niches and ledges lining the walls of the structure. More sculptures, as well as large jagged icicles and ice crystals, levitated in the air, surrounded by swirling rings of snowflakes and ice chips creating a glittering orbit encircling the palace. Will-o-wisps and ice sprites danced about, cold burning balls of flame and light with wings like snowflakes. And speaking of which, snowflakes seemed to be everywhere; with motifs on many of the clear crystal windows dotting the walls, perched atop pillars and posts, and real ones were falling from the air and beginning to cover the ground in white even as they stood staring at everything in awe.

"…_Tres magnifique…"_ Fantina whispered in wonder.

"Duuuuuuuude," Leo said, jaw dropping. He took a picture.

"…Oh. Oh my," Lily gasped in astonishment. "Did…did _I_ do that?"

"That you did, Mistress, and more besides," the Golurk said. "Observe: the magic you unleashed seems to have restored me to my full vitality as well."

This did indeed seem to be the case: there wasn't a speck of rust or tarnish left anywhere on the Golurk's form. Its armor shone a lustrous blue-white reminiscent of the ice making up the palace standing just a few meters away, and the light from its eyes, runes, and chest crack were brighter and steadier than ever before. "Hey, looking good there, pal!" Leo said.

"I did that too?" Lily asked in surprise.

"It would appear so," the Golurk said, marveling at how easily it was able to swivel its joints and flex its limbs once again. "I haven't been this limber in centuries. Since the estate was restored to its true form by your assuming the title, as part of the estate, I suppose the same magic worked on me as well, although I do not believe I am worthy of such a gift."

"You've been standing out 'ere for centuries zhrough rain and snow wizzout budging. I zink you've suffered enough," Fantina said.

Lily said. "I quite agree. Since I wasn't even unborn back then, I can't say for sure how accurate your feelings of guilt are, but…I think enough is enough. You've punished yourself for too long already."

"If that is what you believe, Mistress, then it is so," the Golurk said. "Do I take it to mean that you forgive me?"

"Um…yes. I guess I do," Lily said.

The Golurk bowed its head. "I do not think I deserve such forgiveness, but…as heir of the Yukihimi household, it is within your power to grant it to me. I thank you."

"You're very welcome," Lily said uncertainly.

"Cool! Hey, does that mean that you have to do whatever Lily says?" Leo asked.

"As a servant of her family, I am bound to. She may dismiss me if she chooses, but if not I will serve her to the best of my abilities, just as I did her predecessors," the Golurk said.

"Sweet! Lily, you've got your own Dawn!" Leo chortled. He paused. "Except that you're not going to sleep with it…I hope…"

"C-certainly not!" Lily stammered, blushing.

"If you desire to, I would be more than willing-" the Golurk started.

"NO!" Leo and Lily shouted vehemently.

"Very well. If that is your wish," the Golurk said calmly, standing down.

Lily looked rather flustered. "I don't like the thought of having a sentient being at my beck and call, doing whatever I ask of it without question…"

"Neither did Pikachu, but he warmed up to having Dawn as his vassal eventually," Leo pointed out. He scratched his chin in thought. "It was probably the sex that did it…"

"Lily, as new 'ead of ze Yuki'imis, it is boz expected and necessary for you to retain a number of servants," Fantina said. "Running an estate on your own is no easy feat, and considering 'ow much of an in'eritance you're receiving—after we get all your assets unfrozen, zat is ("HA!" Leo laughed.)-you'll need as many 'ands 'elping you to take care of it as you can get. Your assumption of ze title's sent out a signal zat will tell ozzers who've sworn fealty to your family in ze past zat ze time 'as come for zem to resume zeir services, and while you can dismiss zem if you choose…it would probably be best if you let zem do what zey do best, at least for now, so you can focus on saving ze world and deal wiz ze business of running an estate later."

"I…guess…" Lily said uncertainly.

"Plus, you've got your very own Battle Butler, like Fantina's butler named Butler, except this one's made of metal! Aw yeah!" Leo gushed. "Ooh, ooh, I just got a brilliant idea! We should have your butlers duke it out to figure out which is best at butling! Is that a word? I think it's a word, and if it's not, it should be, because it's awesome!" Everyone sweatdropped.

"Um…what's your opinion on this?" Lily asked the Golurk.

"Well, if you want me to fight Fantina's butler, I would be perfectly happy to-" the Golurk started.

"No, not that," Lily said quickly. "I meant…serving me. Do you want to do that, or would you like me to dismiss you and grant you your long-deserved rest?"

"As my Mistress, my wish is your command. If you want me to stay, I will stay. If you wish me to depart, I shall," the Golurk said.

"Yes, but right now my wish is to know what _you_ want," Lily pressed.

The Golurk hesitated for a moment. "…The Yukihimi estaste is the closest thing I have had to a home ever since I was awakened from my long slumber. That is…part of why I stayed when the others left. I have nowhere else to go but back to the spirit plane, and while that's certainly an option, I…like it here. If you order me to leave, I will do so without a second thought, but…I think that I shall miss this place, especially now that you have restored it to its former beauty after so many centuries."

Lily sighed, giving in. "Very well. I'm not really happy being _anyone's_ master, but…if staying here and serving me is what will make you happy, then…then that's what you can do."

The Golurk bowed gratefully. "Thank you, Mistress. I promise I shall serve you with the same degree of loyalty and efficiency I served those who came before you."

"Um. Right," Lily said, biting her lip, still a little uneasy about all this.

"Hey, if you're gonna stick around, you're gonna need a name. We can't just call you, 'Golurk,' all the time," Leo said.

"I had a name once, as I told you earlier, but…to be honest, it has been so long since I have heard it, I can no longer remember what it was," the Golurk admitted. "Any name the Mistress deems fitting will be acceptable for me."

"So now I have to name you, too? Oh dear…" Lily said with a frown.

"Chillax Lily, I got this. We can call you…Atlametheus!" Leo declared.

Fantina blinked. "Zat's an interesting name. Where'd you get it from?"

"It's a portmanteau of the mythical titans Atlas and Prometheus," Leo explained. "According to legend, Atlas was condemned to carry the sky on his shoulders forever, and Prometheus was tied to a rock and every day a Braviary would eat his regenerating liver."

"What? That's terrible!" said the disgusted Lily.

"It's just a story. I think," Leo said.

"Why did you choose zose names?" Fantina asked curiously.

"Well, I thought they kind of fit our boy here. Like Atlas, he's been bearing a heavy weight on his shoulders…namely, guilt for not stopping Bellum sooner. And he's been suffering a constant torment like Prometheus…standing here doing nothing for centuries while the world passes by and his body deteriorates," Leo explained. "I'll admit it's not a perfect fit, but it still makes for a cool name, which we all know is the number one priority!"

"I suppose…um, what do you think?" Lily asked the Golurk.

"One name is as good as any other," the Automaton replied. "If you like it, feel free to use it."

"Well, since I can't think of anything better…I suppose I shall call you Atlametheus, then," Lily decided. "Um, if that's okay, that is."

"If that is what you choose, then that is what I shall call myself," the newly dubbed Atlametheus said, bowing again. "And now that you have claimed the title and restored the manor…would you perhaps like a tour of the property you are now the owner of?"

"That's quite nice, but we should probably be getting back to the others-" Lily started.

"Oh, nonsense, zey'll be fine wizout us," Fantina interjected. "Come, Lily, you can't tell me you aren't ze least bit curious to poke around? Zis 'ouse is all yours, now! Don't you want to take a look around?"

"I know I do!" Leo said ecstatically.

Seeing that she was outvoted, Lily gave in. "Well, all right," she said. "I suppose it couldn't hurt. And…this is really all mine? All of it?"

Atlametheus nodded. "Everything you see before you, including the mountains, the glacier, and quite a bit of the land around us, all the way up to the property line several acres away."

"…Oh _my_," Lily whispered, somewhat overwhelmed. "I've…I've never really owned _anything_ before, aside from my hat, and the spellbook I stole from my mother, and a few gifts from my friends. But…all this belongs to me? I…I can barely even imagine it…"

"I can! Come on, let's go look around!" Leo said giddily, running towards the front gates of the manor.

"Leo!" Lily called after him.

Fantina chuckled and shook her head in amusement. "Quite ze mon you've got zere, Lily."

"A rather energetic and entertaining consort, if I say so myself, Mistress," Atlametheus commented.

Lily flushed. "L-Leo's not my consort!"

"…Actually, 'e sort of is," Fantina said.

Lily turned redder. "W-well…yeah, I guess, but…I mean…we haven't done anything!"

"Yet. Not for lack of me trying…" Fantina grumbled.

"You have yet to consummate your union? That is a poor decision, Mistress. Now that you've become head of the Yukihimi house, you need to start working on producing an heir," Atlametheus said seriously. "After all, if you were to die without either producing or naming a successor, the Yukihimi bloodline will die with you, and this place will crumble forever."

Fantina nodded as Lily turned redder still. "'e's right Lily, why do you zink I 'ave so many daughters? It always pays to plan for ze future!"

"C-can we just go on that tour already? Leo! Hang on, I'm coming!" Lily shouted, desperately chasing after her boyfriend to get out of the awkward conversation.

"…Hmm. She is a lot more reserved than I would have expected. Going by her ancestors' example, she should have had at least one or two children on the way by now," Atlametheus said.

"She's 'ad a rough life. She _is_ Bellum's daughter, after all, and it can't be easy living under ze same roof as zat womon," Fantina pointed out.

Atlametheus nodded. "Too true, as I know from experience. Still, we must do something to make sure that she is not the last head of the Yukihimi family."

Fantina smiled as she saw Lily reach Leo's side. "Don't worry, I zink zat problem will be taken care of soon enough…"

"Hey Lily, what took you?" Leo asked, glancing at the witch as she floated next to him. "Wow, you look so red I think you're about to burst into flames! Possibly for real, since you're good with fire and stuff."

"I-it's nothing," Lily stammered. "Um, why haven't you gone in yet?"

"Partly because I wanted to wait for you, and partly because I can't get past this," Leo said, pointing to the front gates, a series of very tall icicle stalagmites rising from the ground to fill an archway in the manor's outer wall through which a courtyard of some sort could just barely be seen. "Can you get rid of these things?"

"Well, I suppose I could burn them down…" Lily said.

"What? No, no, no! This is your house, you can't burn it down!" Leo protested. "Can't you just…make them go away?"

Lily frowned. "How am I supposed to do that?"

Leo shrugged. "It's your place. Can't you tell them to leave?"

Lily considered this for a moment. She glanced at her wand, which was still floating next to her. Getting an idea, she raised it before her and concentrated. White light radiated from the snowflake crystal on the top, and abruptly the icicles shattered, ice fragments flying outwards before converging back on themselves and reassembling into a pair of massive crystalline gates filling the archway. With a creak, the gates swung open, allowing entry to the manor. "Oooh. Neat!" Leo said.

Lily blinked in surprise. "I did not expect that to happen."

"As mistress of the estate, you can alter it to suit your desires," Atlametheus explained as it and Fantina caught up to them. "All you need to do is focus on the wand and think of what you want to change, and it shall become reality, within certain limits."

"Sweet!" Leo said.

"That sounds dangerous," Lily said in concern.

"Not really. You have to be concentrating really hard to change anything, so you don't need to worry about the roof caving in a new tower growing out of the floor just because you're thinking about it," Atlametheus said. Lily, who had indeed been thinking about those things now that the Golurk had put them in her head, glanced nervously at the manor, and was relieved when it remained the same.

"Probably a good thing I can't use it, then," Leo commented. Everyone nodded in agreement.

"Let's go in!" Fantina said, an excited look on her face. "I 'aven't been 'ere in ages! You know, what wiz it being a lake ever since I was a little girl. I'm dying (again) to see what it looks like now, especially since Lily is in charge now!"

"Ah, so the place changes its appearance to meet the will of its owner?" Leo guessed.

"Didn't I already say as much?" Atlametheus said.

"Yes, but you were saying she could change it whenever she wants. What you're saying is the way it looks now is already different from how it was in the past because Lily is the new owner?" Leo pressed.

Atlametheus nodded. "There's a basic default template the manor uses to reconstruct itself whenever a new master or mistress is chosen, but the personality of the new owner imprints on that template the instant they assume the title to create what is essentially a brand new mansion. The mansion looks the way it does now because it reflects what's in Lily's heart."

Lily started at this. "Wh-what? You mean…all this…all this comes from something it saw in me?"

"Certainly. Why are you so surprised, Lily? 'ave I not told you before zat you 'ave a beautiful 'eart?" Fantina said warmly.

"And your outside isn't too bad either!" Leo joked. Lily flushed.

"Shall we go in?" Atlametheus asked, gesturing at the gates.

They entered the gates and found themselves in a large courtyard framed by two of the manor's wings, with the main entrance of the house sitting opposite the gates a few meters away. The courtyard was a beautiful winter wonderland, with a garden made of ice sculpted into the shapes of exotic plants and trees sprouting from the snow-covered ground. Beast-headed fountains and gargoyles poured water into trenches and canals crisscrossing the frozen garden, with little stone bridges arcing over them and allowing winding pathways paved with cobblestones of ice to go all around the courtyard.

A central walkway ran right from the gates to the manor's front door, and lining that path were eight very familiar figures immortalized in ice. As the others looked around the ice garden in wonder, Lily floated towards the statues, jaw dropping in disbelief. "These…these are…I don't understand…why…why are there statues of my friends here?" she cried incredulously, staring at the sculptures of Fantina and the other seven members of Team Aurabolt in disbelief.

"Hey, nice likeness of yours truly!" Leo commented, admiring his statue, which was one of the largest and showed him in better form than he himself had probably ever been.

"Atlametheus, why are there statues of my friends here?" Lily demanded of her new servant.

"Because you wanted them to be here," Atlametheus said.

Lily blinked in surprise. "Huh?"

"Remember, the manor's initial form was taken from what lies in your heart. And since your friends mean so much to you, it is only to be expected that their likenesses should be displayed prominently," Atlametheus said. "Why, I would not be surprised if we found other statues and images of them inside the house and elsewhere about the grounds."

_Not one of me, though…I guess that's to be expected, since you don't know what I look like. Maybe once we meet for real you can make a few of me,_ B half-joked.

"Cool! Let's go look for them, I want to see if all the other statues of myself are as nice as this one!" Leo said enthusiastically.

"The…the house…it made these wonderful statues of my friends…because it knew I loved them so much?" Lily asked, not paying attention to Leo, much to his annoyance.

Atlametheus nodded. "Certainly. It wants to be a place where you will be comfortable, after all, and having your friends present, even if only in statue form, will go a long way towards making this place truly feel like a home to you."

"…A…a home. Yes. This…this place…" Lily said softly, slowly turning around to take in everything around her. "This place…it really _is_ home, isn't it? I…can feel it. This is…this is where I belong. Where I was always meant to come, isn't it?"

Fantina nodded. "Zis place called out to ze Yuki'imi ectoplasm wizin you…and your ectoplasm responded. And now zat you are 'ere…boz of you are zat much closer to being complete."

Lily began to cry as she stared at her new domain in wonder. "…I think…I think that for the first time in all my three hundred years of unlife…that I can look at snow without thinking of Mother. It's…it's a wonderful feeling."

And as the snow continued to fall around her and the wind rustled the diamond chips masquerading as leaves in the ice trees growing in the garden, creating a mellifluous sound not unlike wind chimes, Lily smiled…and that smile, framed by the swirling snowflakes and lit up by the soft white glow of her wand, was the single most beautiful thing Leo had ever seen. And as he stared at the Misdreavous in awe, Leo knew, at last, that the Perfect Moment had arrived.

The crunch of snow as Leo got down on one knee snapped Lily from her reverie. She stared at the Squirtle in puzzlement as Fantina gasped and Atlametheus fixed its gaze on them in anticipation. "Leo? What are you doing?" she asked.

Much to her astonishment, Leo took off his sunglasses and put them in his shell, revealing his bright red eyes to her for the first time without being obstructed by any form of eyewear, be they opaque or transparent. He looked at her with an expression of completely uncharacteristic seriousness, but his eyes shone with a naked adoration that took her breath away. (Not that she needed it, but you know what I mean.) When Leo began to talk, for a second she almost didn't recognize his voice, because he was talking with a calm and steady tone, with no hint of his usual boisterousness or endearing childishness. "Lily," he said, sounding more mature than she'd ever heard him before. "From the moment we met in the Mystifying Forest when you and your family tried to kill us, I knew there was something special about you. The fact that you were not only prettier than your sister but showed clear reluctance and a degree of shyness that made you automatically endearing to just about anyone who met you helped matters. As we talked while you tried to kill us and Michael and I did our best to beat you, I knew at once that you were a likely candidate for that age-old trope, the Mad Scientist/Evil Overlord/Maniacal Witch's Beautiful Daughter, a progeny of evil who didn't feel like she belonged on the same side on her parent and might, with a little help—and possibly love-from a handsome hero, be coerced into changing sides." He smiled. "And that's what you did, the next time we ran into you in Twilight's Edge…and you have no idea how happy I am that we did, because even though I knew there was a pretty good chance that you'd eventually become our friend, I was smart enough to know that sometimes things don't go the way you expect them to, and was worried that we might wind up having to kill you in the end…which I thought would be a terrible shame, because you seemed like a nice girl deep down from the admittedly brief—yet meaningful-impression I got of you the first time we met and I didn't want to have to be responsible for ending your story before you found the happiness and redemption you deserved. So as you might imagine, I was _ecstatic_ when Ash managed to free you from your mother, and you agreed to come along with us on our adventure to defeat the Nihilators, because it meant you had a chance to become the hero you were always meant to be."

Lily blinked in surprise. "Leo…why are you-"

"If I said I hadn't expected to fall in love with you, that'd be a lie," Leo interrupted. "I thought from the first time we met that you were pretty—even with those scars your mom gave you all over your face—and thought there was a good chance of me getting a thing for you if you ever joined our crew. I was right. What I hadn't expected was just how…well, _incredible_ falling in love would feel. I've read about it and seen it happen on TV and in games a million times, but watching it and actually _experiencing_ it is a whole different flavor of soda, just like watching and playing tons of adventures was only barely a warm-up for the real thing. I'm not even sure when what I was feeling turned from simple attraction to actual love…all I know is that it happened, and it was the best feeling of my life, better even than when I found out my Dad was still alive—albeit as a talking skull—or when I got the high score on Ikaruga."

"…Leo…" Lily said, stunned.

"What I _didn't_ expect—hoped for, yes, but wasn't absolutely positive would happen—was for you to reciprocate my feelings," Leo continued. "After all, while you fit the mad Scientist/Evil Overlord/Maniacal Witch's Beautiful Daughter thing almost to a tee, I was worried that would mean you'd meet the other requirement too…that you'd fall for Ash, which would be understandable seeing as how he not only saved you, but is pretty much the main character in our little journey—and pretty damn studly, at that—while I'm just a secondary protagonist at best, and not exactly too stunning in the looks department if you get what I mean."

"Leo, you're perfect to me!" Lily protested.

"Heh, thanks babe, but we both know I could still stand to lose a few pounds," Leo joked. "Anyway, rather than act all stupid and agonize over my feelings and do absolutely nothing while the girl of my dreams fell for another guy, I decided to do the smart thing that way, way, _way_ too many other heroes—including Ash, that numbskull—should just do right from the start and try my best to make you like me instead of him. And while I could have done so using all sorts of crazy and convoluted schemes—Arceus knows most of those aforementioned heroes did—if there's one thing watching afterschool television has taught me other than that good will always triumph over evil and that drugs are bad, it's the importance of honesty and being yourself, so that's precisely what I did: I became your friend by acting the way I usually do, knowing that if I wanted you to like me, it should be for the _real_ me, not some fake persona I made up just to get your attention." A smile lit up his face. "And that's exactly what happened, aside from the slight hiccup of me temporarily going insane and thinking I was a pirate and kissing you, leading to you freaking out and running away and causing me to get depressed and drunk and start singing badly, but then you changed your mind and everything worked out."

"…That…is certainly an unusual courtship…" Atlametheus said slowly.

"Zey're an unusual couple," Fantina said warmly.

Lily sniffed, starting to tear up at the memories. "Oh, Leo…I'm so sorry about that-"

"Its okay, Lily," Leo interrupted. "You are forgiven. Always and completely forgiven. Not just for that, but for everything else you've done while you were with your mom, because honestly, Lily, none of that matters to me. I love _you_, and I don't care what you've done in the past, because I'll _still_ love you. And that's a promise."

"…L-Leo…why…why are you saying all this?" Lily whispered, struggling not to cry. "It's…its very sweet, but why…"

"Lily, meeting you was one of the best things that's ever happened to me, and while I'm not deluded enough to think that I'm the best thing that's ever happened to _you_—being freed from your mom by Ash, or nearly killing her, or winding up with this awesome house are probably major contenders for number one—I'd like to think that I'm one of the better things that's happened to you, too," Leo continued over her. "You've changed my life in strange and wonderful ways, and I'd like to think that I've somehow managed to do the same for you. Well, actually, I'm pretty certain I _have_ done the same for you, but that's neither here nor there. The point is…I love you, Lily, absolutely and completely. More than any video game or comic book or anime, and a _heck_ of a lot more than all the fictional girls I've had crushes on. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, which, since I fully intend to live forever, will be a long time indeed. And so that's why I need to ask you a question. A very important question, probably the most important one I've ever had to ask anyone in my life."

He reached an arm into his shell and came out with a clenched fist. Raising his arm, he gently opened his hand to reveal a ring. It was made of gold from his share of the loot they'd taken from Barbedo's horde. Bits of the moon rock he'd gotten from Ciela, pieces of the crystals taken from the Sea Crown, and more jewels from Barbedo's horde and bits of the false Star Badge from the champion's belt they'd won at Mt. Battle decorated the ring, inlaid in various curlicues and designs detailing aspects of Team Aurabolt's adventures that Lily had taken part in that Leo had carefully etched into its sides over long sleepless hours late at night. Held in a six-clawed mount at the apex of the ring made from melted down and purified scraps of metal from Yamatorochi's formerly cursed bell was a gleaming chunk of green life crystal from the Tree of Beginning.

Lily's eyes widened, and Fantina gasped. "Leo…what…what are you…"

"Nice, isn't it?" Leo said, smiling fondly at the bit of jewelry in his hand. "I've been working on this whenever I got a moment to myself ever since I knew for sure how I felt about you. Made it with bits and pieces I've picked up from all over Sinorre so it could represent our journey and everything we've done together. Thought it would be symbolic and stuff."

"It's beautiful…but…why are you giving it to me?" asked the confused Misdreavus.

Leo blinked, taken aback, but only for a second. "That's right…your mom never told you about this sort of thing, did she? Then allow me to enlighten you, just as I've taught you so many other things about the wider world: this, Lily, is an engagement ring. It's the sort of thing one Pokémon gives to another when he wants her to marry him."

If Lily had a heart, it would have stopped. "Leo…Leo, are you…are you saying…"

Leo smiled, a look of pure love and devotion on his face as he offered the ring up to her. "Lily Yukihimi, will you marry me?"

The passionate, _hungry_ feeling of her lips on his was all the answer he needed.

"And so the Mistress has officially chosen her consort…" Atlametheus observed as Leo and Lily kissed each other. "He is a bit strange, but he has a good heart. She has chosen well."

"Yes…she 'as," Fantina said sadly, a wistful look in her eyes.

The Golurk glanced at the elder Mismagius. "And what of you, Duchess? Have you still not found a mate of your own, or is a permanent lover simply against your Mewrian sensibilities?"

"…Zere is only one mon zat my 'eart beats for (or would, if I 'ad a 'eart)…and I gave up my chance wiz 'im a long time ago," Fantima said quietly.

"…I do not think it is too late to make amends," Atlametheus said after a moment's thought.

Fantina glanced at him in surprise. "No?"

"No. After all, if the Yukihimi house could be restored to glory after lying derelict for so many centuries, then who knows what other miracles are possible?" the Golurk said.

Fantina blinked at the larger monservant, considering this. Slowly, a ghost (ha!) of a smile appeared on her face. "Per'aps you are right…per'aps…yes…per'aps zere is still 'ope for us. Zat I will 'ave a 'usband…and my children, a fazzer…"

Their spirits raised, the steward and the sorceress watched fondly as the young lovers embraced before them, and snow kept swirling down around them.

…

The heroes soon learned that what looked like 'stars' in the 'galaxies' filling the Stronghold Void were anything but. Each point of light was actually a sphere made up of dozens of incredibly powerful enchantments designed to safeguard the treasures contained within them. "When we were just starting out, we 'ad a regular vault and safe deposit box to keep all our zings in," Mirami explained as their platform descended through the strange dimension. "But as Mama grew stronger and wealzier and bozh designed and collected more powerful artifacts and creatures, it became necessary for us to move our zings to zis place, bozh to 'ave enough room as well as to keep it safe…and to keep _us_ safe from it."

"Are the things here really that dangerous?" asked an amazed and more than a little worried Sparky.

"Well, if Sasha's anything to go by…" Briney said, glancing at the Absol, who now looked like a big white puffball due to how much her hair was standing out as a reaction to her disaster-sense.

"This is most disconcerting," she said, her voice muffled due to all the fur between her face and the outside world. "I would greatly appreciate it if we spent as little time here as possible, because I think I'm going to have an aneurysm if my disaster-sense screams this loudly for much longer."

"Yikes. That doesn't bode well…" Tiny murmured.

"It certainly doesn't! Look at all zose split ends and matted fur!" Shauntel tutted, completely missing the point. "Dear, you 'aven't been taking proper care of your 'air. Don't worry, we 'ave some conditioner and shampoo zat can fix zat right up!" Everyone facefaulted.

Butler nodded gravely. "Most of the more powerful items stored here could destroy an entire city if used improperly. Others would destroy an entire city, and more, if used _properly_."

"And let me guess, most of those were made by Bellum?" Happy asked.

"No, but a fair number were," Diane said. "The rest are either failed experiments, relics of ancient civilizations, or creations of other mad wizards."

"Why do ancient civilizations and bad guys always make so many artifacts of doom and leave them lying around for people to trip over and blow up the world? It's irresponsible, is what it is!" Zippo complained.

"Due to zeir natures, destroying most of zem would only result in greater devastation," Morticia said.

"Oh I know that, but why do they even _make_ the damn things in the first place? I mean, why did they all want to destroy the world? They lived here too, didn't they?" Zippo griped.

"Well, most of ze creators of such artifacts are dead or impossible to contact, so I really can't speak for zem," Agatha said. "At a guess, 'owever, I'd say it was boredom."

"…Boredom? Seriously?" Salty asked.

Bow nodded. "Oh yes, when you're incredibly powerful and very long-lived, it sometimes becomes difficult to find new zings to do after a while. So zere's a temptation to…experiment."

"Some—like Mama, and us—try to fill our time by creating good works or fulfilling certain…desires," Phoebe said. "Ozzers, like ze Goldorringtons, focus on making money. And some, like Bellum, try to destroy ze world. It's somezing to do to keep from getting bored."

"…Ah," Lu said vaguely as she and the others stared at their hosts with more than a little concern.

"Well, that's not gonna be a problem for me, I'm sure I'll find tons of things to do once I become immortal!" Zippo said.

"…That's what we're afraid of, dear," Rose said.

"Hey!" Zippo cried.

"We're 'ere," Mirami said abruptly, ending the argument. Everyone turned their attention instead to the large sphere of light they were currently approaching. It was the size of a large building, and up close they could see that it wasn't a solid ball of light, but a shimmering surface made up of millions of interlocking runes swirling about in a mesmerizing array of patterns. Gaps in the runes showed them that there were more runes underneath them, and more runes underneath those, in layer after layer, with no way to tell just how many there were in total.

"I'm getting dizzy," Cruise complained as he stared at the swirling runes.

"I feel like the back of my brain is on fire," Tiny complained.

"Yeah, that's a common symptom when dealing with these things. It's nothing to worry about. Probably," Diane said. Nobody was reassured.

"So, what's in there?" Ash asked, gesturing to the sphere.

"Ze Plates. Since zey're some of ze most 'eavily protected zings in our vault, we zought we'd get zem out of ze way first," Agatha said.

"What, the Star Badge isn't protected as well as the Plates?" Pikachu asked in concern.

"Before now, we didn't know it was zat important, just anozzer mystical bauble," Nefertari explained. "So we didn't zink it warranted ze same degree of safeguards artifacts actually belonging to Arceus would require."

"…Good point," Pikachu admitted reluctantly.

_If the Star Badge will require less effort to get, shouldn't we get it first?_ Dawn asked.

"It'll be easier to get, but since apparently you're going to do somezing freaky wiz it once you 'ave it, we zought we should save it for last," Bow said.

Ash grimaced. "That's probably a good idea…"

"Plus, it means we get new Plates! Score three for us!" Zippo said.

"Don't you mean one?" Sasha asked.

"No, because we're getting three Plates, while you're only getting one Star Badge," Happy explained.

"Ah," Sasha said.

"I shall dispel ze wards," Mirami announced, drifting away from the edge of the platform and approaching the sphere. As she drew closer to it, the air around her started growing thicker and began to crackle, and nearly invisible glyphs and sigils, none of which looked particularly friendly, made themselves visible. Unbothered, she extended a claw and tapped what looked like thin air. A rune that had been invisible prior to her touching it lit up. She floated around to the other side of the sphere and tapped a second rune, flew to its underside for a third, went above it for a fourth, and so on until about a dozen or so glowing runes were floating at various points around the sphere. Finally she returned to where she had begun and touched the first rune once more. All the runes lit up, and the sphere flickered, the runes making it up freezing in place and dissipating…

Revealing the next layer, which was still active. Mirami floated around the shield's circumference and touched an invisible rune. Ritchie frowned when she floated out of view and started touching more runes. "How many times is she going to have to do this?"

"A lot," Nefertari said.

Rose sweatdropped. "…This is going to take a while, isn't it?"

"Pretty much, yeah," Shauntel said.

The next several minutes passed in somewhat frustrated silence as they watched Mirami fly around tapping glyph after glyph, causing the ball of light to gradually diminish as layer after layer of protective spells were removed from it. They were starting to wonder if she would ever be done when she pressed the last rune for the current shield, causing it to light up and vanish, revealing, much to their surprise, not another sphere but a small stone building that looked like an Arcean shrine. "FINALLY!" Zippo shouted, throwing up his hands in exasperation. "I thought we'd never be done!"

"Yeah, that did kind of drag on a bit, didn't it?" Sparky said, reluctantly agreeing with the Charmeleon.

"We couldn't have gotten through that a little faster?" Ritchie asked Butler.

The Dusclops shook his head. "Good security measures take time."

The platform floated over to the building and came to a stop at the bottom step of a wide stone staircase leading up to a sealed stone door flanked by a pair of statues of Arceus. "It's safe to take the steps," Diane said when the heroes eyed the staircase cautiously. "Just so long as you don't step on the third, seventh, twelfth, seventeenth, or twenty-third."

"What'll happen if we do?" Ash asked.

"Bad things," Diane said vaguely.

"Good to know," Pikachu said deadpan.

They walked off the platform and cautiously went up the steps, being careful not to step on the ones they were warned not to, though there was a brief panic when Ash, who had lost count, nearly stepped on the wrong one and almost got himself killed, but they managed to snatch him back just in time. Once they reached the top of the steps, Mirami bade them to stand back as she drifted before the Arceus statues, who turned their heads to look at her, eyes and wheels lighting up. She flipped open her book and recited a number of passages from the Arcean holy scriptures, however, which seemed to calm them down and render them inert. They were further delayed by the Sableye having to press a number of seemingly unremarkable spots on the completely flat and featureless doors leading into the shrine before the wards barring the entrance dissipated, causing the gateway to slide open with surprising smoothness and quiet for such large stone doors. They passed through the entrance and found themselves in an immaculate white hall with several pillars rising to the ceiling, horizontal poles with banners and tapestries depicting divine figures dangling between them, and a large painting of a building resembling the shrine they were now in standing on a pastoral green hill taking up the back wall. There was no sign of anything resembling the Plates.

"Uh, are you sure this is the right place?" Ritchie asked dubiously. "I don't see any Plates here…"

"Maybe they're invisible?" Zippo suggested.

"Or in a secret compartment," Lu offered.

"Or we have to solve some ridiculously complicated and inane puzzle before the damn things will even appear, and then we'll probably have to traverse a labyrinth to find the fragments of three keys which will open the case they're in, and _then_ we'll need to swap them with an object of the exact same size and weight to keep from triggering a trap that'll kill us all," Salty said pessimistically. "And even then, we'll probably have to fight some Arceusawful giant monster before we can leave. That can clone itself and regenerate wounds and grows extra heads and limbs and stuff. And farts lightning."

"…Is it bad that I could actually see us having to do that?" Rose asked nervously.

"That would be so cool!" Zippo gushed. His friends sweatdropped.

"Wow. If these guys have to jump through this many hoops just to get the Plates, I'm actually glad the security on our thing is somewhat lighter," Ash commented. Ritchie clenched his fist, trying to suppress another wave of envy.

"Heh. Suckers," Briney said unsympathetically.

"Don't worry, you won't need to do anyzing like zat," Mirami assured them. "I can retrieve ze Plates from 'ere fairly easily. I would recommend all of you stay back 'ere by ze entrance, 'owever, unless you particularly feel like 'opping from tile to tile across ze floor to keep from setting off any traps."

"Yeah, I don't think we'll have a problem staying back," Ritchie said, eyeing the identical floor tiles with more than a little unease.

"What about those of us who can fly?" Happy asked, flapping her wings.

"You would 'ave to follow a long and circuitous route, and in ze end it would be for naught since only one of us Fantasmas can pass zhrough ze barrier at ze end," Agatha said.

"Oh. Never mind, then," Happy said.

Somewhat impatiently, the heroes were forced to stand back and wait, again, as Mirami did her thing, which, as Agatha said, was indeed flying a very long and circuitous route around the room, frequently doubling back on herself and shifting elevations more than once, occasionally tapping invisible runes that only she seemed to be able to spot hiding in the air. After several minutes of this, she finally reached the painting, which they fully expected to move to the side to reveal a secret alcove that would contain some kind of safe that was holding the Plates.

They were wrong. After all, why would something so mundane as that be used in a place like this? Instead, Mirami touched another hidden rune, causing all the ones she'd activated around the room to light up, and an invisible force field that had been covering the painting to shimmer and disappear. Then, to their astonishment, she floated forwards and _into_ the painting, as if it were a window opening onto the scene it depicted rather than a piece of framed canvas. "What…how…how is she…" an incredulous Sparky stammered in astonishment as the figure of the Sableye shrank as she floated towards the shrine inside of the painting.

"Mag-" Zippo started.

"Yes, yes, I know, never mind," the knight said curtly.

"Well, I've heard of interactive art, but this is taking it to a whole other level," Lu commented.

"What is that? Is it a portal to another dimension or something?" Ash asked.

"No, it's a painting," Diane said.

"…A painting," Ash said.

"Yes," Diane said.

"A painting that Mirami just entered and is now going into the building on that hill," Ash said as Mirami opened the door of the shrine in the painting and floated inside, vanishing from view.

"That's right," Diane said.

Ash opened his mouth to say something else, reconsidered, and just shook his head wearily. "Why exactly am I trying to make sense of this again?"

"Yeah, that's the sort of thing Pikachu would do," Briney agreed.

"I can hear you, you know," Pikachu said flatly.

"I know. What's the point of insulting you if you couldn't hear it?" Briney asked.

Pikachu's eye twitched. _Want me to kill him?_ Dawn asked.

"No," Pikachu said.

_Are you sure? I could at least maim him a little. Take out that eye of his,_ Dawn offered.

"Thank you, but no," Pikachu said, strongly resisting the urge to give in to his temptations.

Dawn shrugged. _Well, if you insist…_

"So what's inside the building in the painting?" Cruise asked.

"An exact replica of the room we're in, perhaps?" Lu suggested.

"We don't really know," Shauntel admitted. "Mama and Mirami are ze only ones who've ever been in zere. All we know is zat ze Plates are kept zere."

"Well, I'll say this much: frustratingly complicated as the security is, they're probably pretty safe in there," Ritchie admitted reluctantly.

Sparky nodded. "Yeah, putting them inside a painting inside a building inside an array of lethal booby traps and protective spells inside a sub-dimension inside a big and confusing magical house that can only be accessed by a very select number of individuals? I can't see it being more secure than that."

"I can," Zippo said.

Sparky winced. "Of course you do, Zippo…"

"Oh?" Phoebe asked.

"Zis I've got to 'ear," Agatha said.

"You really don't," Sparky said desperately.

"Shucks, I'm fine with telling them!" the Charmeleon said, much to the Pikachu knight's dismay. "You see, you put it inside a volcano that's on top of another volcano on a desert island in another dimension, and then-"

Thankfully, before he could explain any further, Mirami flew out of the painting, carrying three large rectangular plates of indeterminate material in her claws. "Got zem!" she said as she floated directly across the room towards them.

"What happened to the incredibly circuitous route?" Happy asked.

"Ze security switch was inside ze painting, she turned it off to make ze return trip easier," Nefertari said.

The Sableye drifted down to Team Getem and extended her arms, the three Plates in her grasp floating into the air before them. One was sky blue, one was blue-white, and the last one was a light brown. "I believe zese are what you came for?"

"Awesome! FINALLY, some new Plates! It feels like over a year since we last got some!" Zippo cried.

Rose flew forward to examine the artifacts. "Let's see…that's the Sky Plate, the Icicle Plate, and the…Stone Plate?" She frowned in puzzlement. "I thought Fantina said she had the Earth Plate."

"Eh, Earzh, Stone, same difference," Bow said flippantly. "I've always 'ad trouble telling ze distinction between Rock and Ground, anyway. What's ze difference, really?"

Zippo opened his mouth to explain the precise difference, but Sparky stopped him. "We don't really need an in-depth lecture right now, Zippo."

"Awww, but I wanted to give one!" Zippo complained.

"I don't care," Sparky said bluntly.

"Sky, Icicle, and Stone, huh? That's pretty convenient, because those three cover the elemental types of the only remaining members of our team who don't have their own Plates!" Ritchie said.

"Yay! That means I get my own armor!" Cruise cheered.

"And so do I," said the eager Lu.

"And me!" Rose said happily.

"Awesome! Now we've got a complete Sentai team!" Zippo said. He started making a series of poses. "GetemTan! GetemYellow! GetemRed! GetemSky Blue! GetemGreen! GetemBrown! GetemBlue-White! GetemNavy! Exploration Task Force Getemgers!" Everyone stared at him. "What?"

"Why do I have to be GetemBrown?" Cruise complained.

"Because your Plate is brown," Ritchie said.

"Oh," Cruise said. "…Can I have a different color?"

"No," Ritchie said. Cruise pouted.

"There are three blues…" Rose commented.

"Huh, yeah, that is weird, isn't it?" Zippo commented. "And what's even weirder is that I'm not the leader, even though I have the red armor! Everyone knows Red Ranger is almost always the leader!"

"Not in this case. I'm the leader," Ritchie pointed out.

Zippo scowled. "Which is lame, because red is a way cooler color than tan!"

Ritchie shrugged. "Maybe, but that's just the way it is."

"Lame!" Zippo whined. "Anyway, let's activate the new Plates to see what everyone looks like with their armor! In fact, let's all activate our Plates, so we can work on making an intro sequence complete with group pose and explosions in the background!"

"Let's not and say we did," Sparky said.

"Better yet, let's not and say nothing at all," Salty said. The others nodded in agreement. Zippo scowled.

"I think we can wait to try these out until later. This probably isn't the best place to test them, what with all the powerful enchantments and other weird stuff that's down here," Ritchie said, grabbing the Plates and stowing them away in his knapsack.

"Yes, it really isn't," Shauntel agreed.

"And besides, we've taken up enough time getting our treasure. It's time for the other team to get their turn…isn't that right, Ash?" Ritchie asked, smiling at the other Lucario.

"Well, I certainly wouldn't mind getting that Star Badge now…" Ash said, which wasn't entirely a lie.

"About damn time. Thought we'd never get around to that damn thing," Briney grumbled. "And there'd better not be as much of a rigamarole to get it, too!"

"Don't worry, like we said before, it's not as 'eavily guarded, since we didn't zink it was as important until now," Bow said.

"Well, you thought wrong," Briney said bluntly.

"Let's just get going. We've spent long enough down here, I'm getting a little anxious and I think Sasha is, too. Isn't that right, Sasha?" Pikachu asked.

"Very much so," was the muffled reply from the big ball of white fur that was apparently an Absol.

Mirami nodded. "All right zen. Let's get out of 'ere."

"Should we bozzer resetting ze security?" Phoebe asked.

"Why? It's not like zere's anyzing else being stored 'ere," Nefertari said.

"Actually, zere is," Mirami said.

Her sisters looked at her in surprise. "Really? What?" Bow asked.

The Sableye fidgeted. "…Somezing personal. Somezing of my fazzer's."

"Ohhhh," the other Ghosts said, understanding at once.

Tiny blinked. "_Her_ father? Doesn't she mean _their _father?"

"All the Duchess's children have different fathers," Butler said.

"Oh," Tiny said. He frowned as he struggled to understand this. "…Just like I have Mommy and my evil dad and Daddy and Misty who's apparently going to be my mommy too?"

"…Yeah, sure, let's go with that," Butler said. Ash and Pikachu exchanged meaningful glances, silently promising to discuss this with their hostess when they got the chance.

"Anyway, if we want to get zat Star Badge, we should go now," Mirami said. "I've set ze defenses to reactivate once we've cleared ze building. Let's go, everyone."

"Do we have to watch the stairs going back down? I've forgotten which ones we have to avoid," Ash admitted embarrassedly.

"No, zose are turned off, too," Mirami said.

"Oh, good," he said in relief.

They headed outside, went back down the stairs, and got onto the platform. The seven sisters concentrated their power, and the circular conveyance levitated away from the shrine. As they left, the shields reformed around it one by one, until the strange but beautiful structure was once more hidden within the core of an artificial star. "Next stop, ze Star Badge," Mirami announced as they started flying off into the depths of artificial space once more.

Ash glanced at Pikachu, who nodded. Now was as good a time to ask as any. "Um, Mirami…"

"Yes?" the Sableye asked, glancing at him.

"You mentioned something of your dad's was back there. What, um, do you know about him?" Ash asked tentatively.

Mirami frowned briefly. "Only what my mozzer 'as told me. Unlike my sisters, I've never met 'im."

"Oh?" Ash asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Most of us were conceived from acquaintances and colleagues of Mama," Agatha explained.

Bow nodded. "So we still see zem pretty often, and zey always show up on ze 'olidays."

"My fazzer, 'owever, was an Arcean priest visiting our country to broaden 'is knowledge," Mirami said. "'e and my mozzer became…very close. So close zey almost married. But 'is duties called 'im elsewhere, so 'e 'ad no choice but to leave. I don't believe zey've seen each ozzer since, and I've certainly never met 'im." She sighed. "'e still left a deep impression on Mozzer, zough, more zan any ozzer mon she's ever met. I zink she still 'as a zing for 'im."

"Do you know where he went? What his name was?" Ash pressed.

Mirami frowned. "I can't remember ze name of where he went off ze top of my 'ead. Some village on anozzer continent, I zink. As for 'is name, it's-"

"We're 'ere," Shauntel announced.

"Oh, we'll 'ave to finish zis later. Sorry," Mirami said. Ash grimaced in frustration but nodded reluctantly.

The new magical star they were floating in front of was much smaller than the last one, and not nearly as bright. It also didn't cause their heads to ache quite as much to look at. "If Leo were here, I suppose he'd be insulted that the Star Badge wasn't kept in a place quite as secure as the Plates," Pikachu said.

"Good thing he's not here, then," Briney said.

_Let's not tell him about this part,_ Dawn said. The others nodded in agreement.

"Zis should only take a moment," Mirami said, floating off the edge of the platform and hovering before the big ball of swirling magic. Like before, she started flying about and tapping invisible runes, but the ones needed to deactivate this first shield were all in very close proximity to each other, and there weren't nearly as many of them as the first shield surrounding the shrine the Plates had been kept in. This was the case with the second and third shields she lowered, and it was only when she reached the fourth that she had to start moving about to find the runes, but even then it seemed like an easier and quicker process than it had been before. There was only one more shield that needed to be lowered after that, and once that was down, the Star Badge was right there, suspended in space, slowly rotating about with no visible case or structure holding it in place. Mirami grabbed the star-shaped gem and floated back to the platform. She didn't bother reactivating the security spells because there was nothing left for them to keep protected. "'ere you are. As promised: ze Garnet Star Badge," the Sableye said, offering the jewel to Ash without ceremony.

The Lucario frowned briefly as he took it from the sorceress's claws. Like all the other Star Badges, this one was a glittering gem shaped like a five-pointed star that emitted a strange power when he looked at it with his Aura-sight. This one was made from a garnet, and was a lovely orange in hue. "…Huh. That was kind of anticlimactic."

"Not even a boss fight. Leo would be so disappointed," Pikachu commented.

"Let's lie and tell the boy we had to fight a seventeen-headed trans-dimensional minotaur with acid for blood that could breathe fire and turn Pokémon to stone with its eyes after spending several hours wandering around an incredibly complicated labyrinth, solving riddles and puzzles and fighting all sorts of gatekeepers," Briney suggested.

"That's cruel. He'll be disappointed he missed out on something like that," Sasha said.

"Exactly!" Briney said. "Serves him right for skipping out on us to make out with his girlfriend. And maybe Fantina." Everyone stared at him. "What? I can't be the only one who thought of that, can I?"

_Yes,_ Dawn lied.

"Let's just tell Leo the truth, so he won't feel like he missed out on much," Ash suggested.

"Except that he did, since Team Getem had to go through a lot to get their stuff," Tiny said.

"We'll leave that part out," Ash said.

"I won't!" Zippo said.

"Yes you will," Sparky said. Zippo scowled at him.

"So, are you going to do whatever…thing you need to do to find the next Star now?" Rose asked.

Ash shook his head. "I think it would be best if we did it somewhere with more space. Besides, if we're going to be doing this, there's…some things I need to tell you all first."

Pikachu frowned. "Does this have anything to do with what you were talking with Lugia about while the rest of us were on the train?"

Ash nodded. "Yeah…and it's really important, and I'm going to need everyone's help with it, if what Lugia told me is right, and I see no reason not to think it is."

"We'll be happy to help, Daddy!" Tiny assured his father.

"Yes, just tell us what we need to do," Sasha said.

"We'd be happy to help too, if you'll let us," Ritchie offered.

"We would?" Salty asked. The rest of the team glared at him. "Oh, fine, you can count me in too."

Ash smiled gratefully at his friends as the platform began to rise out of the void. "Thanks, guys. Okay, this is basically what's going on…"

He spent the next several minutes explaining what he and Lugia had talked about regarding the darkness in his heart. He told them about the nightmare he had had after getting knocked out by Denchu, about how he was hearing taunts and insults from Misty, and how apparently she was a manifestation of his guilt. How there was a dark secret he was keeping from himself that was the source of a great deal of the negative emotions fueling the Shadow growing inside of him, and how he would have to face it if he was ever to stand a chance of expunging the evil from his heart. How when they used the newest Star Badge to locate the remaining three under Nihilator control, the flashback it would trigger in Ash would probably be the memory he was repressing…and how if it weren't handled delicately, there was a chance the darkness would overwhelm him for good. He also vented many of the anxieties and pressures he had been feeling lately, and made it expressly clear that he didn't like being constantly reminded of how he was a ticking time bomb of Shadow and that some of his companions were perfectly ready and willing to kill him if he was about to go off, and told him this frequently. Briney, unsurprisingly, didn't look even the slightest bit guilty about this, much to Ash's frustration. He commented on that too. The Metang didn't really care.

By the time Ash had finished telling them everything, they had exited the portal to the Stronghold Void, the floor turning back into a painting rather than a gateway to another dimension. As the elevator platform removed itself from the larger one they had used to travel through the otherworldly space and continued up the great vestibule running through the Fantasma household, Ash's friends stood in silence, trying to process all of this.

Finally, Zippo said, "Mon, you are one messed up mofo."

"Zippo!" Sparky hissed.

"What? He is! He totally is!" the Charmeleon said.

"That's right, you are. Very perceptive, isn't he?" Misty said. Ash tried to ignore her.

Rose sighed and facewinged. "Oh, Zippo…"

"Wow, Daddy, I'm glad you aren't nearly as screwed up in the head as Tiny's dad is," Cruise said bluntly to Ritchie.

Ritchie sweatdropped. "That's not a very nice thing to say, Cruise…"

"Yeah, you take it back right now!" Tiny said angrily.

"Why? It's true, isn't it?" Cruise asked.

Tiny hesitated, and then glanced at Ash uncertainly. "W-well…maybe a little…"

"Ash, I…I had no idea you felt this way. I didn't know you were keeping so much pent up," Pikachu said, looking shocked and a little guilty for not realizing how much his brother was suffering sooner.

"I did," Tiny said sadly. "I felt he was keeping a lot of bad stuff locked away, but I didn't know what it was…until now."

"I did," Briney said.

"…And you didn't mention any of this because?" Pikachu demanded.

Briney shrugged. "Didn't seem important at the time. And besides, a real mon doesn't have to tell everyone what he's feeling all the time, he can deal with his problems himself. It's worked for me."

Pikachu facepalmed. Now_ can I remove his eye?_ Dawn asked.

"I'm strongly considering it," Pikachu muttered through his paw.

"Try it and I'll remove your arm," Briney said. "And unlike mine, it won't be quite so easy to reattach."

_I can always get a new one from a Pokémon Center,_ Dawn said, unimpressed.

"Just like I can get a new eye, meaning our mutual dismemberment will serve no point," Briney said.

_It'll make me feel better,_ Dawn said.

Briney laughed at this. "Heh, true."

"You're…hearing your girlfriend's voice in your head? Except it's not actually your girlfriend, but your subconscious guilt screaming at you for…letting her die or something a thousand years ago?" Happy asked. "That's, um, kind of disturbing."

"That's one word for it, yeah," Ash agreed.

"Is she talking to you right now? What's she saying?" Rose asked.

"That she hates my guts and wants me to die in horrible agony, and that I'll deserve every second of it," Ash said wearily.

"I said no such thing. Death is _far_ too good for you," Misty said. Ash ignored her.

"That's terrible!" Cruise said.

"But she doesn't talk like that usually, right?" Sparky asked.

Ash hesitated. "…Well…she does sometimes. But only when she's really angry at me. And she never means it. Much."

Pikachu nodded. "Yeah, that sounds about right."

"…Ah," Sparky said vaguely.

"The only voices I hear in my head screaming at me for screwing stuff up are my own," Ritchie said, shaking his head sympathetically. "It's never sounded like Melody…" He frowned in thought. "Ash, you said you knew me…or someone like me…back when you were a human. Melody too. Do you know how, um, we might have…?"

Ash shook his head. "No. Sorry. My best guess is you were killed like everyone else when Annihilation swept the planet. I can't even say for certain whether or not you were with Melody then. I don't know if you two even knew each other back then."

Ritchie grimaced. "Me not knowing Melody? Yikes…I can't imagine a world where we didn't grow up together. Where we didn't…love each other. I don't envy you, having memories of two different worlds inside your head…along with…all the rest…"

"I don't envy me either," Ash said wearily.

"Of course not. Why would _anyone_ want to be a screwed-up deranged little failure like you?" Misty said.

"Speaking of memories…Ash, are you certain this is the best course of action?" Sasha asked in concern, her fur having returned to normal once they were out of the Stronghold Void. "If your memories of the past are what's causing the darkness inside you to grow stronger, and the memory you're repressing is the worst of them all, how will releasing it help?"

"Lugia says ignoring it gives it more power over me, and that only by confronting it can I gain the strength to move on. Or something like that," Ash said.

"Your typical pseudo-psychobabble, then," Briney said.

"Pretty much, yeah," Ash said.

"Does he even have a degree in psychology? Is he really qualified to be giving you that kind of advice? Sounds more to me like he's trying to send you on a one-way trip to Crazyville," Misty said.

"I don't know…it still seems like kind of a big risk, especially if it causes you to transform into a Shadow Pokémon, which I thought we were trying to avoid," Rose said.

"It won't turn him into a Shadow Pokémon," Zippo said.

"Oh, that's a relief," the Taillow said gratefully.

"It'll turn him into a Void Pokémon, which is a million times worse!" Zippo said.

"Ack!" the druid squawked.

"Not helping, Zippo," Sparky said.

"Especially since this is the sort of thing I said was making me more anxious. You know, being reminded of what could happen to me every other minute or so?" Ash said.

"Psh, fine," the Charmeleon grunted. He frowned at Ritchie in annoyance. "Why can't you have a superpowered evil side?"

"…Why would you want me to _have_ one?" Ritchie asked incredulously.

"So we could have a totally awesome boss fight and snap you out of it using the Power of Friendship!" Zippo said. "That's the way it usually goes."

"…And the thought that I might actually kill you never crossed your mind?" Ritchie asked.

"Please, like that'd ever happen," Zippo said flippantly.

"Yeah, Daddy would never hurt us, even if he became evil! Right, Daddy?" Cruise asked.

"Um…I'd like to think so, but I'm not sure…" Ritchie said.

"And neither am I," Ash said, glancing apologetically at his friends.

"Which again brings up the question of why we're doing this if there's a pretty good chance that it's going to cause the thing we're very much trying to avoid?" Rose repeated.

"Because it can't be helped. If we use the Star Badge, it'll trigger my next flashback, presumably the memory I've been repressing," Ash said. "And it won't matter where I am when it happens, it'll still have an effect on me."

_Then why bother doing it at all? You already know where the Nihilator hideout is, or will as soon as Dean and Bob get around to telling us, so do you really need to use the Badge's power?_ Dawn asked.

"Because we have no guarantee that the Badges the Shadow has are even being kept at the Nihilators' main base," Ash pointed out. "And Dean and Bob don't know for sure if they're there either. So if we storm in there on the assumption we'll find the Badges only to learn they're elsewhere, we'll be right back to square one."

"The princess is in another castle," Zippo said sagely.

"I thought we were talking about magic gems, not princesses," Cruise said. Zippo sweatdropped.

"Well…okay, I can see why that might be a problem, but do you really _need_ to collect the Nihilators' Badges? I thought that all seven were required to open the Door under Treasure Town," Sparky said. "So even if they already have three, there's no way they can open it with just those, right?"

"Not necessarily," Sasha said. "Professor Oak says the seal on the Door is weakening. And Oblivion's Shadow is a very powerful being. It's possible that, if left with no other option, he might be able to combine his power with the three Badges he possesses and find some way to force the Door open."

Dawn nodded. _Only by removing all seven Badges from evil's grasp can the threat truly be ended, and the seal re-strengthened._

"Which means, one way or another, sooner or later we'll need to use the Map to find the last few Badges, and the only way we can make it reveal them is by using our newest Badge, even though it might unseal whatever demons Ash has been keeping to himself," Pikachu said unhappily. "I'm not seeing a way around this…"

"Which is why we should cut to the chase and deal with this head-on, rather than wasting more time dithering about it," Ash said determinedly.

"Heh, I like the sound of that! I'm all for it!" Briney said. "Especially since if it doesn't work, that means-"

"Briney!" Pikachu snapped.

"…What? Oh, right, we're not supposed to talk about that anymore because it'll hurt Ash's feelings or something. Fine, whatever," Briney grumbled.

"It's not quite as bad as it sounds," Ash said, trying to raise their hopes. "Lugia's mind is still connected to mine, so once I go under, he'll be able to observe what happens during my flashback, and hopefully have some influence over my mental state so I won't go Primeapeshit over whatever I might find there. He says the rest of you might be able to help, too."

"How?" Tiny asked, eager to help his father.

"I believe our hosts may be able to offer some assistance here," Ash said, turning towards Mirami, who had been listening to the discussion with the rest of her sisters up to this point, and had yet to comment because she had been curious to see how their guests would deal with this dilemma. "Mirami, do you know of any spell that can allow people to enter a Pokémon's dreams?"

"Oh, certainly," Mirami said. "Zat's a very simple spell to cast, and among ze seven of, we should 'ave no trouble allowing your friends to join in your flashback. Zat's what you want us to do, right?"

Ash nodded. "That's the idea, yes. Um, assuming you guys are okay with it?" he asked his friends.

Pikachu smirked. "You have to ask?"

"I'll be there, Daddy!" Tiny promised.

Sasha sighed. "I'm still not certain this is the best course of action, but if you have truly made up your mind, then I shall join you."

_Wherever my master goes, so do I_, Dawn decided. _Even if it means descending into Ash's subconscious._

"I'm in, too. But could you explain to me why we can't just use my Psychic powers to link everyone to your mind rather than using magic?" Briney asked.

"Because this way, Sasha and Dawn can join in too," Ash said.

"Oh. Eh…guess that makes sense…" the Metang said grudgingly.

"Also, by using zis spell, you would not simply be watching whatever it is Ash is seeing, but you should be able to communicate wiz 'im as well," Bow said.

Phoebe nodded. "You won't be able to actually change or effect anyzing—I zink—but by talking wiz ze real Ash as 'e is reliving 'is memory, you can 'opefully 'elp 'im deal wiz whatever it is zat 'e is seeing and give 'im ze support 'e needs."

Ash nodded. "Basically, it'd mean I won't have to do this alone, which Lugia thinks will make all the difference in the world."

"Count us in, too!" Ritchie said.

"Wait, what?" Rose cried.

Ash blinked in surprise. "Ritchie? You want to do this, too?"

"Sure! An Aura Guardian always helps those in need, _especially_ another Aura Guardian…and right now, I'd say you need help more than ever!" Ritchie said.

Sparky nodded in agreement. "It would be the chivalrous thing to do."

"Daddy's not going anywhere without me!" Cruise decided.

"…Eh, fine, why not. Actually sounds kinda cool. I'm in," Zippo said.

"Zippo!" Rose protested.

"What? This could be really neat, like Inception, only without all the confusing stuff (I hope)! No way am I missing out on this!" the Charmeleon said.

"I guess I'll come too, then," Happy said.

"I don't think I've ever been inside someone else's mind before…could be fun," Lu decided.

"Since I don't want to be the odd mon out, I'll be there as well," Salty said.

"Hmmph! Guess you're not so spineless after all," Briney said.

"Yes he is. He's a Tentacool. Leo says they don't have bones!" Tiny said. "They're all squishy and stuff!"

Briney facepalmed. "That they are, Tiny. That they are."

"How nice of them. They care about you so much, don't they?" Misty asked sweetly. "What sickeningly stupid utter saps. I wonder how long their concern for you will last once they know the truth."

"That's…this is…thanks, you guys," Ash said, touched. "You don't need to do this, you know."

"Which is all the more reason _for_ us to do it. You're our friend, and friends help each other," Ritchie said. "You would do the same for me, right?"

"Heh, no doubt about it!" Ash said, shaking his counterpart's paw.

"Er, Mistress, are you certain you will be able to cast the spell on so many?" Butler asked in concern.

"Not to mention the problem with stuffing all of them inside of a single Pokémon's head," Diane said.

"Nah, that shouldn't be a problem, there's plenty of space in there for all of us," Briney said.

Ash glared at him. "Was that an insult about my intelligence?"

"Yes," Briney said with brutal honesty. Ash growled.

"Heheh, all right, I admit it, I like him the most out of your current group of suck-ups," Misty said.

"You know, insulting him constantly isn't helping his situation either," Pikachu reminded Briney.

"I'm just being honest. Not my problem if he doesn't like what he hears," Briney said unrepentantly.

Ash rolled his eyes. "Right…anyway…will involving everyone be a problem, Mirami?"

The Sableye shook her head. "I don't zink so, especially not wiz all of us working togezzer. Right girls?"

"Yeah, we can 'andle sending ze zirteen of you into Ash's 'ead," Agatha agreed.

"We can't go ourselves, zough, since we'll be ze ones casting and maintaining ze spell," Phoebe said.

"And not just ze dream one, eizzer," Shauntel said.

Ash frowned. "What do you mean?"

Bow hesitated. "Well…we 'ave every faizh zat you will be able to overcome your darkness Ash, but…"

"You want to set up countermeasures just to be safe," Ash guessed. The Drifblim nodded unhappily. "That's all right. I understand perfectly. To be honest, I was going to ask you to do something like that anyway, because if something goes wrong…I don't want to be responsible for hurting my friends."

Bow sighed in relief. "Zank you, Ash. I'm glad you understand."

"Oh, come on! You're just going to let them lock you up? You idiot! You're _throwing away_ your freedom! Do you _want_ to get yourself killed?" Misty screamed. "Not that I care, mind you, but you could stop making it so fucking easy for them!"

"Um, speaking of hurting us…if something bad happens to us inside Ash's head, will we be in trouble?" Happy asked in concern.

"What? No, of course not, zat would be silly. Whatever gave you zat idea?" asked the surprised Morticia.

"Oh, okay then," Happy said in relief.

"Wait, isn't zere a chance zey could go insa-" Nefertari started, only for Bow to frantically cast a spell on her that caused her mouth to seal up, reducing the rest of her sentence to incoherent mumbling.

"Don't worry, nozing will go wrong!" the Drifblim said loudly.

"Wait, was she about to say something?" Ritchie asked.

Dawn nodded. _Yes, it sounded like she was saying there was a chance we might go-_

"Oh look, 'ere we are! Everyone off!" Phoebe shouted as the platform came to a stop level with one of the doors along the wall of the shaft. A bridge of light formed between their platform and the door.

"And ''ere' is…?" Sasha asked.

"One of many training rooms we use to practice spells. It should 'ave enough room for us to cast ze spell on everyone, and if something goes wrong…" Agatha said.

"It should be able to contain me?" Ash asked.

"Well…zat's ze 'ope, anyway," Agatha said Mareepishly.

Ash nodded. "Good enough for me. Let's go, guys."

They crossed the light bridge with more confidence than they had the first one, not at all worried that it might fade underneath them and send them plummeting to their deaths. (And besides, even if it did give out for some reason, there were more than enough flyers in their party to catch them before they hit the ground.) The doorway opened at Mirami's touch, allowing entrance to a chamber that, surprisingly, bore no stylistic similarities to the great room they'd just vacated whatsoever. It was a large cube-shaped room made of numerous stone blocks of the same shape, size, and material covering the walls, floor, and ceiling. It was surprisingly plain considering the extravagance they had seen so far, which was commented on.

"This looks surprisingly plain considering the extravagance we've seen so far," Sasha commented. (See what I mean?)

"It's a practice room for powerful magic. Not much point in making it look fancy considering something explodes in here every other day," Diane said.

"Ash, could you stand over zere, please?" Mirami asked, pointing to an unremarkable block in the exact center of the room. It didn't stay unremarkable for long, though, because a circular glyph with an X in the center appeared on top of it to indicate where he was supposed to go.

"Okay," Ash said, walking over and standing on top of the marked spot. "What now?"

"Now we activate the containment spells," Butler said, pressing a hand to one of the blocks on the wall. A rune lit up underneath his palm, and several of the blocks in the walls, floor, and ceiling slid out of their recesses and floated into the air, leaving deep dark holes behind them. Hundreds of straight vertical and horizontal lines ran down the faces of the blocks, crisscrossing across the surface, and the blocks abruptly broke apart into what had to be thousands of glowing cubes which started revolving around Ash, who was now standing on a lone block hovering in the middle of a very large pit.

"Whoa, cool!" Zippo said.

"Um, don't you think that's not a lot of room to stand on?" Pikachu asked in concern as Ash nervously glanced over the sides of the block he was standing on. He couldn't see the bottom of the pit he was floating over.

"Hmm. I suppose so," Butler said, tapping his fingers across the block with the rune on it in a strange rhythm not unlike Dawn's clickspeech, only none of them understood what he was saying…except for Rose, who knew magic when she heard it.

Several of the blocks at the edge of the pit broke off and floated into the middle of the room, coalescing around Ash to form a square platform that was a bit larger than the one he'd started out on. The Lucario sighed in relief, the fall no longer seeming quite so close to him. "Thanks, that's a bit better."

"Doesn't leave us much room left to stand on, though…" Lu commented, noting how there were only two rows of blocks left ringing the pit for them to stand on.

"Sorry, zis room really wasn't built wiz ground-bound Pokémon in mind," Morticia apologized.

"I can see that…" Sparky murmured.

"Oh well, good thing so many of us can fly, then," Salty said blithely, unbothered by how those of his team who couldn't fly were glaring at him.

"All this looks very impressive, but what's it for?" Briney asked.

"And will it hurt Daddy?" Tiny asked in concern.

"It shouldn't," Butler said.

Sasha frowned. "That doesn't mean it _won't_." Butler did not reply.

"What you take for stone blocks are actually cubes of solidified magic that can be reshaped into a variety of different forms to improve and modify spellcasting via magitech circuits embedded inside them," Diane explained as the miniature cubes filling the air started forming into a number of different rings, spinning in different directions around Ash. "For this instance, we're going to construct the most powerful spell containment matrix we have available, one strong enough to hold a summoned archdemon or a newly born star."

"Why would you summon an archdemon?" Rose asked in alarm.

"Why would you create a star?" Pikachu asked at the same time.

"For a date," Agatha said.

"For fun," Nefertari said at the same time.

They stared at the two ghosts for a long moment, stunned expressions on their faces. _…Which is which?_ Dawn asked finally. Agatha and Nefertari just giggled in reply.

"The matrix should be completing itself right about…now," Butler said, ending his tapping as the cubes coalesced and solidified into a series of seamless glowing pearly-blue white structures floating in the air around Ash. Most of them were rings slowly revolving in place around the Lucario's platform, while others were spheres and cubes and cones and gears and other complex geometric figures, all covered in runes glowing with a very powerful light. Ominously, the brightest runes and sharpest points of the floating objects were all pointing inwards, at Ash.

"…Um, no offense, but this isn't making me feel particularly safe…" Ash said uneasily.

"That's because it's for our safety, not yours," Diane said, which didn't make Ash feel any better.

"That all looks pretty fancy, but does it do anything?" Salty asked skeptically.

"Certainly. Ash, could you please move to the edge of your platform and try to stick a paw over the side?" Butler asked.

"Uh, okay," Ash said. He walked over to the edge of the platform and tried to stick his paw over the side. Much to his surprise, he found his way blocked by an invisible barrier that felt as hard as stone. He tried pushing against it for a moment, but it refused to give way. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed the runes of the objects surrounding his platform were starting to turn red. He instinctively took a step back from the barrier, and the runes regained their original color. "Was that supposed to happen?"

"Yes," Mirami said. "Ze matrix is generating a series of multi-layered shields and containment spells keeping you trapped on zat platform. It exists on ze physical, spiritual, and quite a number of ozzer planes as well, to prevent ze escape of whatever is wizzin it by any avenue, including deazh."

"Way to go, Ash. You've let them lock the door to your cage. You're never getting out now," Misty said. Ash did his very best not to think about how easily she could be right in this instance.

Zippo whistled, impressed. "Sounds pretty tight. Almost like the Pandoricum."

"The what?" Cruise asked.

"Nobody wants to know, Zippo," Sparky said before the Charmeleon could open his mouth.

"Yes I did," Cruise protested.

"No, you don't," Sparky reiterated. Both the Pupitar and Charmeleon scowled at him.

"That sounds like a pretty secure prison…you _are_ going to let him out once this is over, right?" Pikachu asked warily.

"Of course. Why wouldn't we?" Morticia asked in surprise.

_Well, if this containment spell truly is this unbreakable, one might be tempted to simply keep him in there just to make sure that he poses no threat to anyone,_ Dawn said accusatorily.

"'ow dare you! We would never do such a zing!" Agatha said, shocked.

"We are not in ze 'abit of caging innocent Pokemon just because zey _might_ be dangerous razzer zan zose zat are _absolutely_ dangerous," Shauntel said, offended.

"We will only keep 'im in zere if 'e loses 'is mind. If 'e survives whatever is about to 'appen, we will release 'im at once," Phoebe said coolly.

Dawn glared at her for a moment, then nodded slowly. _I had hoped as much, but I wanted to be sure. Because if you _did_ try to keep Ash in there…_

"You would soon regret it," Pikachu finished, eyes steely.

Bow frowned, noticing how Team Aurabolt and her sisters were now glaring at each other, tension building between them. "All of you, stop zis! We're friends 'ere, all on ze same side!" she scolded. "We all want what is best for Ash. Can we simply agree on zat and get on wiz zis already?"

"…Of course, sister. I am sorry," Phoebe said as she relaxed. "I simply do not take our 'ospitality being questioned very well."

Dawn bowed in apology. _I meant no insult. I was only making certain that our friend was in no danger. He means a lot. To all of us._

Sasha nodded. "That is an understatement."

"Yeah!" Tiny agreed.

"It's all right. We understand. You care for Ash a great deal," Nefertari said with a gentle smile. "We'll take ze best care of 'im, we promise."

"We'll hold you to that, now," Briney glowered.

"Briney!" Pikachu hissed. "Don't worry, we trust you."

"We are 'appy to 'ear zat," Mirami said. "Now, shall we proceed to ze next stage?"

"Sure," Ritchie said. "And that is…?"

"Preparing you for ze dream-sharing spell," Mirami said. "Once we 'ave zat set up, you can use ze power of ze Star Badge and set zis little adventure into motion."

"Okay," Pikachu said. "What do we do?"

"All of you, take a place on one of the blocks at the edge of the pit," Butler instructed. The heroes exchanged uncertain looks, but did as he bade them. "Very good. Hold on tight now." He started tapping another sequence of commands on the wall.

The heroes were startled and nearly fell over when the blocks they were standing on shook and floated away from the edge of the pit. "Whoa!" Zippo cried, struggling to maintain his balance.

"What's happening?" Sasha demanded.

"Eh, this isn't so bad," Briney said.

"That's because you don't have to deal with gravity, like the rest of us!" Pikachu snapped.

"Nope, and I'm glad of it," Briney said.

"You need to be relatively close to Ash for us to cast ze spell, but since 'e's in ze middle of ze containment field, zat means we 'ave to move you closer to 'im for it to take effect," Morticia explained.

"And if you're worried about falling off, don't, there's force fields around the sides to keep you safe," Diane said.

"Or to keep us from escaping…" Salty muttered darkly.

"I'll pretend I didn't 'ear zat," Phoebe said coolly.

The thirteen blocks arranged themselves in a circle around the exterior of the containment field surrounding Ash. The air crackled with energy so close to the magical construct, causing their hair to stand on end from being in such close proximity to such a powerful spell structure. "Hey guys, long time no see. Here to keep me company?" Ash joked.

"We could never stay away from your for too long, Daddy!" Tiny said loyally.

"Yeah, we always seem to find ourselves getting drawn back to you, Ash, one way or another," Pikachu said with a smirk.

"Whether we want to or not," Briney said.

"Oh Briney, I know you care deep down," Ash chuckled.

"Meh," Briney said, hiding a smile.

"So how do we do this?" Ritchie asked as the seven sisters drew near, floating in a circle around them.

"Just relax and leave zis to us," Bow said.

The sorceresses closed their eyes, clasped their appendages together, and started chanting incantations under their breath. Magical auras started glowing around them, and soon the thirteen heroes found themselves glowing as well. Lines of light appeared, connecting them in a circle, then others shot out from them and struck Ash, who was standing in the center of them all. He blinked and looked down at the beams as they pierced him, but felt nothing other than a strange tingling sensation. After a moment, the glow faded away and the sisters stopped their chanting. "All done," Shauntel said.

"What, that's it?" Zippo asked in disappointment.

"That was a little underwhelming," Lu said.

"It's a mind-based spell. It's not meant to look impressive," Nefertari pointed out.

"And now zat everyzing is set up…you may begin whenever you are ready," Mirami said.

Pikachu glanced around the chamber. "Ash? Everyone? You ready for this?"

"I'm not entirely sure what we're going to see in there, but I'll do whatever it takes to save Daddy!" Tiny said resolutely. The rest of Team Aurabolt nodded in agreement.

"Ash is our friend too, and we want to make sure nothing bad happens to him," Ritchie agreed. The rest of Team Getem nodded resolutely, though not quite with the same vigor as Team Aurabolt, which was regrettable, but only to be expected.

Ash smiled gratefully. "Thank you, all of you…I would have done this on my own, but I'm happy that I don't have to. Knowing that all of you will be right there beside me makes me feel a _lot_ better, and gives me the confidence I need to go through with this."

"And drag all your friends to their horrible demise. Well _done_, Ash. Such a wonderful friend you are," Misty said sarcastically. "Forcing them to see the awful things lurking inside your skull. I'll be very much surprised if not a single one of them goes mad…or even better, hates you forever. Then I won't be the only one who does. Thank you _so_ much for giving me some more people to relate to! It's always _nice_ to make new friends, isn't it?"

Ash grimaced and tried not to pay attention to her. Instead, he said, "Okay Pikachu, let's do this!"

Pikachu nodded back. "All right. Here goes." He took out the map case and the Star Badge, both of which Ash had given him before entering the room. He opened the case, pulled out the map, and spread it out on the floor before him. He picked up the Star Badge, took a deep breath, and raised it in the air above the map. The Star lit up with a dazzling, sparkling light that seemed almost divine in nature, filling the room with a lovely orange glow, much to the awe of everyone who had yet to see the power of the Star Badges in action, which was most of them. The map began to shimmer as the Badge shone its light on it, and instead of a particular spot on the picture of Sinnorre lighting up to indicate where the next Star Badge was, the image itself began to change, the continent shrinking like the way images did on computers when you zoomed out. Soon the whole sphere of the Earth became visible, and Pikachu fully expected a point somewhere on the globe to began glowing to show them where in the world the Nihilators were keeping the remaining Star Badges…

But unfortunately, before he could see what that location was, a great exhaustion came over him. He staggered, feeling dizzy as darkness formed in the corners of his vision. He could see, through his fading eyesight, that Ash had collapsed on the center platform, and the others were passing out one by one all around him. He realized it was his turn as the Star Badge slipped out of his fingers and clattered to the ground, his eyes rolling back in his head as he began falling face-forwards. _So this is how Ash feels whenever we do this,_ he found himself thinking with surprising clarity as the ground rose up to meet him. _Huh. Not an experience I'd be willing to repeat. He really _is_ brave, to keep going through this so many times. He's such a good friend and brother. I need to tell him that more often._

And then he hit the floor, his body covering the map, and he knew no more.

…

_Please…don't die…_

"It's too late for that. I'm going to die and there's nothing you can do about it. It's because of you this happened, and I hate you for it."

_I'm so sorry…_

"I don't care. It's your fault I died, and I will never forgive you for that, Ash Ketchum. You will pay for what you did to me. You're going to regret coming here. Now, at last, it's time for you to face the truth."

…

The thirteen Pokémon found themselves in a clean, sterile white room made of flawless space-age materials with floors so polished they could see their own reflections and ceilings that seemed to be less covered in light fixtures and more like some kind of solidified mass of energy bathing the chamber in surprisingly warm white light. "Uh, where are we?" asked a confused Happy.

"And am I the only one who heard that super-creepy voice just a minute ago?" Zippo asked.

"No, I heard it too…" Tiny shivered. "She sounded scary…"

"It sounded like…_Misty_," Pikachu said in confusion. "But that can't be right, even when she's angry; Misty's _never_ sounded like that…"

"The amount of hatred and bitterness in that voice was almost palpable…it was like the voice of death itself…" Sparky whispered.

"I take offense to that. I sound nothing like that. I'm actually a pretty easy guy to talk to," Darkrai said.

"Oh, my apologies Lord Darkrai, I meant nooooAAAAUUUUGGGHHHHH!" Sparky screamed, leaping back and drawing his sword in terror.

Darkrai gave a booming laugh as everyone stumbled away from him in alarm. "Bwahahahahaha! Oh mon, that never gets old."

"Well, that took a few years off my life," Rose said weakly.

"I think that's kind of the point, if that really _is_ Darkrai," Zippo said in stunned horror.

"Master? What are you doing here?" Sasha cried in disbelief.

"Oh, I'm not here. I'm not actually Darkrai, I'm just a figment of Ash's tortured imagination that just happens to look like him. Hmm, wonder what makes you guys?" Darkrai asked thoughtfully, tapping his chin. "Maybe you're not actually Ash's friends entering his mind through the use of a dream spell but more figments of his imagination he conjured up to try to make himself feel better while reliving one of his worst memories."

"Oooh. How existential," said an intrigued Zippo.

"What? That's preposterous!" Pikachu protested, his shock at seeing Darkrai somewhat offset by how ludicrous and unnerving the dark god's suggestion was.

"Not really, I've seen that sort of thing happen before. You'd be surprised the lengths some dreams will go to to convince themselves that they actually exist," Darkrai said.

Zippo nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I've seen that sort of thing too. Those imaginary people give themselves fake memories and personalities and all the works to try and protect them from the truth, because it would mean the dream's end, as well as their own. Can we really be sure we're who we think we are, and not a construct of Ash's psyche?"

"Yes," Briney said. Most of the others nodded in agreement.

Darkrai scowled at the Metang in annoyance. "Oh, fine, you're right, you are real. Way to go spoling my fun, Captain Sourpuss." Briney grinned in amusement.

"Master, what are you _doing_ here?" Sasha repeated.

"I already told you, I'm not Darkrai, I'm a figment of Ash's imagination," Darkrai lied. "But if I _were_ Darkrai, I'd be here because this is something like a nightmare, and those sorts of things have my name written all over them. Literally. If you look carefully while you're having a bad dream, you can spot the tag where I left my trademark. Plus, if I _were_ Darkrai, I'd be here out of curiosity. I'm aware of the truth about Ash's past, but for complicated reasons am not supposed to talk about it. Like a lot of you, I'm not too keen about Ash exposing himself to this memory either, because of what might happen, but since I can't think of anything else that can help him at this point, I don't think we have a choice but to go through with it. I thought I might stop in to see how things went, but that's about all I can do. Sorry."

_So you're here just to watch, not help out?_ Dawn asked.

"I'm not really allowed to. You know why," Darkrai said.

"Um, we don't," Ritchie said in confusion. He vaguely recalled hearing at some point that Sasha was Darkrai's High Priestess or something, and that Team Aurabolt had contacted him a while back for some information, but they had been unusually tight-lipped about anything else regarding the dark god.

"Nor are you going to. Let's just say I can't and leave it at that. Lugia, on the other hand…" Darkrai said, jerking a thumb over his shoulder towards Lugia, who had been standing behind him all along but nobody had noticed until that moment.

"Lugia! What are you doing here?" Pikachu asked in surprise after he and everyone else had recovered from the shock of seeing the great silver sea god looming over them.

"And how are you fitting in here? This room isn't big enough for you…" said the confused Sparky.

"It's a dream, it doesn't have to make sense," Zippo said. Sparky sighed wearily, seeing the truth in this.

"Much like you all, I am here to assist Ash. I got here the same way you did," Lugia said, nodding in greeting to the heroes. "Through my connection to Ash's psyche."

"We don't have a connection to Ash's psyche," Lu said.

"Well, you do now, thanks to the spell that was cast to send you in here," Lugia said.

"Oh," Rose said. "Um…does that mean if something bad happens to Ash's mind, we'll be affected, too?"

"No, no, of course not!...I think," Lugia said uncertainly, failing to reassure any of them in the slightest.

"Right…anyway…where are we, and where's Ash?" Pikachu asked, hoping to get off this uncomfortable line of conversation.

"Well, judging by the décor and from what I remember of Ash's last flashback, this is probably that secure shelter Lord Null threw him and Misty into after the legendary birds went and fucked themselves up but good," Briney recalled.

"And as for Ash, he's right over there," Darkrai said, pointing to the Lucario, who was only a few feet away with his back to them, staring at the far side of the room.

They sweatdropped when they realized how close he had been. "How did we not see him? He's right over there!" Pikachu yelled.

_More dream logic?_ Dawn suggested.

Pikachu sighed. "Yeah, probably."

"Daddy!" Tiny squealed joyfully. He was puzzled when his father didn't reply. "Huh? Didn't he hear me?"

"Maybe this is one of those things where we can only watch, but not actually interact with anything we see?" Zippo suggested.

"Nah, more likely he's too fixated looking at that thing over there to have noticed us just yet," Salty said.

Happy frowned. "And speaking of which…what the heck is that, anyway?"

Standing at the far side of the room with their back to them was a creature taller than most of them that looked like it belonged in the Human-like Egg Group. It had pale pink skin with rather alluring red hair hanging halfway down its back. It had lovely blue eyes and a nose and a mouth on its face, unlike most Pokémon in its Egg Group. It was wearing a one-piece skintight space age bodysuit clinging to its form and highlighting its curves and the two bumps on its chest similar to those things that Jynxes had, only a lot smaller. It was standing in front of a very complicated-looking control panel with lots of flashing instruments and buttons that instantly mesmerized Tiny, Cruise, and Zippo. Most of the wall above the console was taken up by a thick, sturdy-looking window looking into a room with the same kind of décor as the one they were in, except it was a bit smaller and empty save for another specimen of the same species as the creature at the controls, wearing a similar bodysuit. This one's body was a bit thicker and less curvy than the one at the console, without any visible chest bumps, and had short spiky black hair, brown eyes, lightning bolt-shaped markings on its cheeks, and a rather grim look on its face.

"What are they?" said the confused Ritchie.

"I don't think I've ever seen any Pokémon like those two before…" said a perplexed Lu.

"Neither have I, and I've been almost everywhere," said the puzzled Salty.

"They're kinda ugly…maybe that's why, they're hiding so nobody has to look at them," Cruise suggested.

Zippo shook his head while tsking at his friends. "Seriously? Am I the only one who knows what those things are? They aren't Pokémon at all, they're-"

"Space aliens, like the ones you're always telling me stories about?" gasped the horrified Rose.

Zippo sweatdropped. "Uh, no, I was gonna say that they're-"

"Humans," Pikachu said.

"Exactly!" Zippo blinked. "Wait, how do you know that?"

"Because we've seen them before. These two specifically," Pikachu said.

"Thanks to yours truly pulling them out of Ash's memories for everyone to see. You're welcome, by the way," Briney said smugly.

"So _that's_ what humans look like…" Sasha murmured. She frowned. "I was expecting something less…frail and pathetic."

"Yeah, they don't look like much, do they?" Darkrai agreed. "Still, they had a few advantages that put them on top of the food chain while they were around."

"Technological innovations and ingenuity?" Zippo guessed.

"No, explosive breeding and overpopulation. There never seemed to be an end to those guys…well, until they all died," Darkrai said.

"So that's what humans looked like? I never thought they'd be so…ugly. And underwhelming," Ritchie commented.

"They're tall, though. I'll give them that much," Salty said.

"Lots of Pokémon are tall. Most of them are really strong or powerful in some way. These guys kind of…don't look like they are. Unless they're Psychic or something," Lu said.

_They aren't_, Dawn said.

"Well, there goes that theory, then," Lu said.

Pikachu frowned at Team Getem. "I know they may not look like much, but those two humans over there are very important. The red-haired one is Misty, and the black-haired one is…Ash."

"Huh? But Ash is right over there!" said the confused Rose, pointing at the Lucario.

"And I thought Misty was a Vaporeon. And lost in space somewhere," Cruise said. "And not ugly."

"Hey! My future mother is not…well…okay, I guess she _is_ kind of ugly," Tiny admitted reluctantly. "I'm kind of disappointed, to be honest. Daddy and Uncle Pikachu made her out to be much prettier…"

"They are _now_. This is what Ash and Misty used to look like a thousand years ago, when they were humans," Pikachu explained. "The Ash and Misty we're looking at now aren't the real ones, just Ash's memory of them from that time."

"Ohhhhh," Team Getem said in sudden realization.

"And to think, Ash used to look like that?" said a perturbed Ritchie. "Weird."

"Even weirder is that you did too, back then," Salty pointed out.

Ritchie grimaced. "Thanks for reminding me."

"You're welcome," Salty said blithely.

"_That_ guy killed five gods, including Darkrai over here?" Zippo asked incredulously. "He doesn't even look like he could take on a skinny, under-the-weather Machop!"

"I was having an off day, okay? It was the end of the world! I kind of had a lot on my plate at the moment!" Darkrai snapped in embarrassment.

Lugia frowned at Darkrai, before glancing at the others. "Do not underestimate him. While he may not look like much as a human, even in this form Ash still had great power…namely, the power of Aura, much as he does now."

Ritchie snapped his fingers. "Oh yeah…some humans could use Aura, couldn't they?"

"I suppose that with that kind of power, even something as…well…unintimidating as that could win some fights, I guess," Salty said, though he still looked skeptical.

"How they look is irrelevant. They were humans back then, and that couldn't be helped. If what Ash said before is correct, whatever's about to happen in this memory is going to be very important, so we have to be ready to help him if it turns out to be too much for him to handle," Pikachu said, reminding them what they were doing here in the first place.

"Yeah! So let's go over there and help Daddy!" Tiny declared. The others nodded, and they started towards their friend.

Before they got there, however, another unpleasant surprise stopped them in their tracks. "Misty…" Ash whispered, staring forlornly at the female human operating the control panel.

"She's beautiful, isn't she? It almost _hurts_ to look at her, doesn't it, Ash?" a sinister voice laced with false kindness barely concealing a hatred so strong it made the stomachs of the trespassers to the dream churn in discomfort hissed. There was a sigh. "I remember when I used to be that beautiful…but I haven't been like that for a very long time now, and we all know who's responsible for that, don't we?" Something put a cold, clammy arm around Ash's shoulder and leaned its head against his other shoulder, causing his skin to crawl in fear and disgust. "Just look at her, over there. So young and trusting and in love…and so _stupid._ If I could travel back in time to the day we first met, I would have told her it wasn't worth chasing after you to pay for her bike, and that she'd have been better off letting you go off into Kanto on your own…or better yet, shoving you back into the river and letting you drown or get pecked to death by Spearow. Then maybe she wouldn't have had to give up her dreams and everything she cared about to support you. And maybe she wouldn't die down here, trapped in a bunker with you, while the world outside burns and burns until nothing is left."

The heroes and two visiting gods came to a stop, staring in horror and stunned fascination at the _creature_ so casually draping its sickening form over their friend. "_Merda santa…"_ Lu swore.

"What…what _is_ that?" Happy gasped.

"ZOMBIE! ZOMBIE!" Zippo screamed.

"Oh no, not _another_ one, I thought we'd left those all behind at Twilight's Edge," Sasha moaned.

"Hmmph. Not bad, for something that's not one of mine," Darkrai said, grudgingly appraising the terrifying figure before them.

"Oh, Ash…is _this_ what's been tormenting you?" whispered a horrified Pikachu.

"D-Daddy…" Tiny whimpered.

"What…what the hell?" Ritchie cried.

"Well, that…that's actually kind of creepy," Briney reluctantly admitted.

Salty shuddered in agreement. "Just imagine if it were-"

"I'm trying very hard not to, thank you very much," Briney said coldly.

Lugia shook his head sadly. "Oh, Ash…do you truly hate yourself this much?"

Standing before them, leaning casually against the stunned Lucario, was Misty. _Another_ Misty, that is. Like the one at the control panel, she was human, but that was pretty much where any resemblance between them ended. This Misty, rather than being hale and hearty and full of life, was literally a walking corpse, her body wreathed in Shadow Aura to give her an even more ghostlike appearance, and not the good kind of Ghosts, either. Her skin was gray and rotting, her clothes were torn, her body was splattered with blood, a gaping hole filled with festering darkness was torn through her chest where her heart should have been, and her head was lolling at a sickening angle on a broken neck. Her blue eyes were now gaping pits filled with a darkness that no light could penetrate, viscous black tears flowing down her cheeks from the rims of the void. Her skin crawled and her limp bloodstained red hair rustled as countless vermin and parasites scurried and chewed their way through her decaying form much like how Happy's children had infested the frost giants they'd fought yesterday, only this time they could actually see the process of consuming the putrefying form as it was going on, and it was every bit as stomach-churning as you would expect. The heroes might have thrown up, except that they didn't exactly have stomachs at the moment due to being astral projections inside Ash's mind or whatever the Fantasma Sisters' spell had done to send them in here.

That didn't stop their nonexistent guts from lurching again when, with a sickening crack, the corpse's head twisted around 180 degrees to face them. Her rotting face broke into a smile that tore open some of the flesh on her face as her mouth literally stretched itself from ear to ear into a terrifying grin, black glistening jagged fangs locked together in a rictus grin. "Why _look,_ Ash, we have guests! Isn't that nice? We _never _got company when we lived here before, aside from Lord Null, but he hardly counts. Why don't you say hi to all your nice little friends?"

Ash started, snapping out of whatever reverie had had him fixating on the vision of Misty as she once was. "G-guys?" he stammered, breaking free from the corpse's grip and whirling around to face his friends, eyes wide with fear and alarm. "Wh-what are you doing here?"

"We came to help you, Daddy!" Tiny said.

Ritchie nodded. "That's right, we promised we'd be here for you when you needed it!"

Ash surprised them by shaking his head fervently, eyes wild. "No! No, you have to get out of here! You can't see this!"

"What are you talking about?" asked the confused Pikachu. "I thought you wanted us here to help you through whatever's about to happen!"

"That was before I knew what was _going_ to happen… I'm starting to remember now, and…and…" He shivered, looking haunted. "You can't…you can't see this. I don't want you to see this. I don't want to see it, period! You have to leave, before-"

"Before what?" the corpse crooned, leaning her head on his shoulder again. "Before they see the truth? Before they realize just what kind of person you _really_ are?"

"No! It's…this is…it's personal, they, they don't need to-" Ash stammered.

Misty laughed, and it was so horrible Tiny and Cruise burst into tears. "Oh! Oh, that's rich! You're trying to tell me you want them gone because this is 'private?' Please! You can lie to them, and you can lie to yourself, but you can't lie to me! I know full well why you don't want them to see this, and so do you, even if you refuse to admit it to yourself! You're so deep in denial you should be a river in Pokégypt!" She grinned. "It doesn't matter, though, because the truth will come out soon, and then EVERYONE will know what you really are…_especially_ yourself!" Ash cringed, ears flattening against his skull.

"Leave my Daddy alone!" Tiny said angrily.

"Oh, I'd love to, but I can't. I'm a manifestation of his guilt and self-loathing, after all. I can't leave him alone because he won't leave _himself _alone," Misty said, blowing a kiss at Ash and causing him to flinch. "He hates himself so much for something he can't even fully remember that _I_ was born from those negative feelings…but soon enough he's going to remember what it was that he despises himself for, and then my purpose will be complete. And hopefully that means I'll dissolve back into his subconscious, because let me tell you, yet another reason I hate him is for making me like _this._" She gestured at her decaying body in disgust. "You think I like being a shambling corpse? You think I like being nothing more than some of his negative energy given shape and form? It's no fun being like this, and the only pleasures in this pathetic excuse for a life I have are that I get to make _him_ miserable too. It's an endless cycle of hatred, just building on itself over and over until he finally snaps. You know, I actually hope I'm still around when that happens. It's going to be _glorious_."

"You're disgusting!" said a horrified Rose.

Misty shrugged. "I can't help being what I am. What Ash _made_ me. If anyone's to blame for my vileness, it's him." She shook her head, a pitying smile on her face. "Really says a lot about him, doesn't it, that his guilt would manifest as a twisted perversion of the woman he loves? I honestly think the Powers that Be dropped the ball when they made him the Chosen One. They should have picked someone more stable and not, you know, crazy? Like Ritchie over there."

Ritchie blinked in surprise as all eyes turned on him. "Who, me?"

"Well, she has a point, you wouldn't make that bad a Chosen One…" Lu admitted. "You're an all-around decent guy and a great hero, are pure of heart—otherwise you wouldn't be able to use the Fist Plate—and are absolutely loyal to your friends and your principles."

"Lu!" Sparky hissed.

The assassin shrugged. "I'm just telling it like it is, _mi amore._"

"Plus he's not the guy whose head we're going inside of," Zippo said. "That's another point in Ritchie's favor, if you ask me."

"That's what I've been saying all along!" Cruise shouted.

"Hey! Your Daddy can't be the Chosen One! My Daddy is!" Tiny said angrily.

"Well, maybe he SHOULDN'T be!" Cruise shouted back. The two Pupitars glared at each other furiously.

Pikachu's eye twitched. "Tell me this isn't happening. Tell me we seriously aren't arguing over who would make the better Chosen One!"

_We aren't arguing over who would make the better Chosen One,_ Dawn said.

"Thank you," Pikachu said.

"She's lying," Briney said.

Pikachu sighed in exasperation. "I'm aware of that, Briney, but I'm grateful to her for being considerate enough to give me that much."

"Ah. Whatever," Briney said flippantly.

"…Master, are you _taking notes?_" Sasha asked incredulously as she stared at Darkrai, who was scribbling on a notepad.

"Hey, this is grade-A nightmare material! I'm getting dozens of ideas for bad dreams just looking at her! I can't wait to put some of this stuff in action; I'm going to have grown mons wetting their beds all around the globe!" Darkrai said eagerly. Sasha sweatdropped.

"All of you stop this at once!" Lugia bellowed, grabbing everyone's attention. "Ash was selected by forces greater than you can imagine to be the Chosen One!...his psychological status notwithstanding." Ash facepalmed. "He has proved himself many times to be more than worthy of that title, and all _you_ are, figment, is another trial for him to surmount on the path to his destiny!"

"Uh-huh. I don't think he's going to be surmounting me anytime soon," Misty said skeptically as she glanced at Ash, who was staring at his past self again, a look of anxiety and trepidation on his face.

"…You know, given your current appearance, those probably weren't the best choice of words to use," Zippo said, turning green.

"Yeah, I did not need that mental image, thanks," Sparky said.

"I'd be more than happy to erase it," Briney offered a little too eagerly.

"Considering that we're currently mental projections inside someone else's mind, I'm not sure it's a good idea to use Psychic power like that," Sasha said. "There's no telling what could happen."

"Oh fine, spoil my fun…" Briney grumbled, crossing his arms in annoyance.

"What are you talking about?" asked the confused Cruise.

"It's best you not know just yet," Ritchie said vaguely.

Cruise growled in frustration. "Why do you guys keep _saying_ stuff like that? I'm a big boy now!"

"You're only a few weeks old," Happy pointed out.

"And bigger now than I was back then!" Cruise pointed out. His friends sweatdropped.

"If Ash can't fight you on his own, then maybe he needs a little help!" Pikachu said, drawing his sword.

"Yeah! We'll cream you so Daddy doesn't have to listen to you anymore!" Tiny agreed.

"Ooh! Ooh! Are we going to have a throw-down in the middle of Ash's mind? That is so cool! I've always wanted to do one of these!" Zippo gushed.

"Didn't we already, sort of, when we saved Lu and Cruise?" Rose asked.

"…Well…yeah, but we didn't really have any battles then, just lots of weird trippy pseudo-psychological mind screwy stuff," Zippo said. "I'm all for a straight-up beatdown!"

"…Hmm. For once, I think I agree with you, Zippo," Sparky said, drawing his sword as well. "Fiend who calls herself Misty…you shall torment Ash no more! We will purge you from his mind forever!"

Misty stared at them incredulously for a moment as the heroes prepared for a fight, then burst into a fit of laughter so severe that she actually spat up a lung, much to their disgust. "You're joking. You're joking! Ahahahaha…tell me you're not serious! Tell me you don't actually think you can _fight_ me?"

"Why not? We've fought lots of things, many of them bigger and uglier than you," Briney said reasonably. "Albeit not by much."

"Hehehahahaha…fine. You know what? I'm going to let you take a shot." Misty spread her arms out and thrust her chest forward, the darkness where her heart should have been pulsating ominously. "Aim for where my heart used to be, before the idiot here ripped it out. Let's see just how much your determination to help your friend here is really worth."

"Gladly!" Pikachu snarled, drawing back his sword.

"Don't bother, it's a trick," Darkrai said, glancing up briefly from his notepad.

"Yeah, everyone knows you gotta aim for the head to kill a zombie!" Zippo said.

"Huh? No, wait, that's not what I-" Darkrai started.

"I'll aim for both of them, then! Kyaaaahhhhh!" Cheeks and blade crackling with electricity, Pikachu charged towards Misty, who grinned sinisterly and didn't move a muscle. The samurai leaped into the air and brought his sword down in a diagonal slash intended to cleave through her head and heart in a single blow…

And was surprised when his blade passed right through her. "Wh-what? That didn't do anything?" Pikachu stammered in alarm as he landed at Misty's feet, stunned to see there wasn't a scratch on her.

Misty laughed, coughing up another lung. Fortunately for Pikachu, it didn't land on him. "You deluded uptight self-righteous nitwit! You're even stupider now than you were back when you were just a rodent who pathetically clung to Ash and rode on his shoulder everywhere because you were 'too good' to go into a Pokéball! I'm a construct of Ash's unconscious mind, idiot. As such, Ash is the only one who can do anything about me. None of you can even touch me!"

"I tried to warn you," Darkrai said as everyone's faces fell.

"You could have tried harder," Lugia said.

"Yeah, well, I didn't see _you_ doing anything to stop him," Darkrai retorted. Lugia grunted.

"If Ash is the only one who can get rid of you, then it's too bad for you that he's right here! Go get her, Ash!" Ritchie shouted.

"Yeah, rip her to pieces, Daddy!" Tiny cried.

"Show that bitch not to desecrate the memory of the womon you love!" Briney shouted.

_Woman,_ Dawn said.

"Eh?" Briney said.

_Woman. She looks like a human, and female humans were called women, not womon,_ Dawn explained.

Briney rolled his eyes. "Whatever! Show that hussy whose boss!"

Misty laughed again. "Wow, it's just one bad idea after another, isn't it? It's just like the old days, Ash. You always found a way of surrounding yourselves with people smarter than you who still persisted in thinking that you were the best thing since sliced bread and the answer to all their prayers. But you and I both know that's not even remotely true, don't we?"

Ash clenched his teeth. "…Sh-shut up. You can insult me all you like, but don't you dare talk about my friends like that!"

Misty gave him a look of feigned surprise. "What's this? You have a backbone after all? Are you actually *gasp* considering _doing_ something to shut me up rather than standing there and taking my abuse with that stupid look on your face like my old Psyduck, which, I might add, was _twice_ the man you ever were even before he finally evolved into a Golduck, and a _way_ better kisser!"

"Maybe I am!" Ash snarled, getting angry. Then he blinked, realizing what Misty had just said. "Wait, you kissed Psyduck?"

"Well, considering you _abandoned me_ to babysit my Gym because my irresponsible brainless excuses for sisters decided to dump the hard work on me so they could take a trip around the world while you got to run off to a new region and pick up a new girlfriend who had the advantages of both being closer to you in intelligence and had bigger breasts despite being _way_ too young to have ones of that size, it's not exactly like there were many other candidates around for good boyfriend material, now were there?" Misty screamed at him, causing him to flinch and take a step back.

"I-I didn't abandon you! You _left!_" Ash protested. "You made the decision to go away!"

"And you didn't try hard enough to keep me there! Do you know, if you had actually _asked_ me to come with you rather than just going, 'Oh, you have to leave? That's too bad, see you never,' I might have decided to screw my sisters and join you on your next adventure?" Misty shouted.

Ash blinked, eyes wide. "I…I didn't think-"

"Of course you didn't! You _never_ think!" Misty yelled furiously, stamping a foot and nearly causing it to snap off. The others grimaced at the way her ankle twisted, which did nothing to stop her from stomping it again and again. "We'd traveled through three regions together, gone on lots of adventures, and I wasn't hinting so much as dropping HUGE HONKING CLUES in your face that I had a _thing_ for you, and in spite of all that, YOU NEVER NOTICED! You LET me go! And when you came back with your new girltoy, you didn't even try to stop me from going back to Cerulean after our brief stint together again; which I'd been hoping might have FINALLY gotten you to realize how I felt about you! And then you left AGAIN without even saying goodbye, got ANOTHER piece of eye candy, NEVER even bothered to call, and when you got back I didn't even realize you were home until you left AGAIN! Are you seeing a pattern here, Ash Ketchum? Because I damn well sure am! I honestly have to wonder why, despite all of that; I was still so stupid that I COULDN'T STOP LOVING YOU!"

Ash was shaking now, looking on the brink of tears. "M-Misty…I…"

"Oh, what's that? Are you going to say you're sorry?" Misty sneered. "Well it's a little too fucking late for that, mister! Just look at me! LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID TO ME!"

Everyone stared at the mostly one-sided exchange with wide eyes. "Wow," Zippo said after a moment. "This is better than practically every soap opera I've ever seen."

"Reminds me of my arguments with my wife, actually," Darkrai said with a fond sigh. "Oh, Cressy, how I miss you…" Everyone stared at him in disbelief.

"Geez…he really screwed up back then, didn't he?" Ritchie said with a wince. "I can't imagine my relationship with Melody ever having gotten as bad as this…"

"…And I thought Ash's relationship with the REAL Misty was dysfunctional…" Pikachu said incredulously.

"You know, since she's basically something born from his mind, doesn't that mean all the things she's saying about him are things he secretly thinks about himself?" Briney said.

"…Oh, _Daddy…_" Tiny whispered, tears running down his carapace.

"Ash, stop listening to her, she's manipulating your feelings!" Lugia shouted. "Remember, she's a manifestation of your guilt, so she's using the things you feel worst about to try and take you apart!"

"And it's kind of working," Zippo said. Lugia glared at him. "What? It is!"

"Stop accepting what she says! It's only giving her power over you!" Sasha yelled.

"But…everything she says is right. I…I hurt her without even realizing…" Ash whispered.

"That doesn't matter!" Briney said.

Ash, and almost everyone else, gave the sea captain surprised looks. "Huh? What do you mean?"

"Oh, this should be good…" Misty said in bemusement.

"Okay, first thing's first: you fucked up big time. Nobody's disputing that, especially me," Briney said.

Everyone sweatdropped. _That's not really helping_, Dawn said.

"Hush, I'm getting somewhere!" Briney chided. "Anyway, you fucked up. She's right about that."

"Yes, I am," Misty said smugly.

"But the thing you have to remember is, _she's not Misty._ She's just some messed-up part of your incredibly screwed-up head trying to make you feel bad. And while what she's saying may be at least partially true, it's not the actual Misty you love who's saying these things, but yourself, although she doesn't look a lot like you at the moment," Briney said.

"Nor would I want to," Misty said in disgust.

"Even though you wouldn't be a rotting corpse?" Happy asked.

"At least like this, I'm not Ash," she said.

"Ouch. Burn," Zippo winced.

"All the things she's saying are things you've said to yourself, not anything she's ever really said to you or ever would!" Briney continued.

"Actually, um, the real Misty did say something along the lines of what this just one said a thousand years ago," Ash said Mareepishly. "But there was a lot less profanity involved."

"…Oh," Briney said.

"And we started making out at the end," Ash recalled.

"Ugh! If you try to do that to me, I'll bite out your tongue," said the disgusted Misty.

"Um…well…okay, there goes my argument…" said a disgruntled Briney.

"Maybe so, but I think I know where to go from here," Pikachu said. "Ash! You said you had an argument similar to this with the Misty of the past?"

"Yes," Ash said unhappily.

"But she forgave you, didn't she?" Pikachu said.

"Well, yeah, eventually…" Ash admitted.

"I won't," Misty said.

"You don't have to! The point is, if she forgave you, then you don't need to feel bad about it anymore…or at least, you can feel bad about it, but not let it control you!" Pikachu said.

Ash frowned as he considered this. "…You might have something there…"

"And if she forgave you for being a complete and utter chump and totally ignoring her feelings for years while constantly waltzing around with some other babe on your arm, then the real one will probably forgive you for whatever you did that's so bad it made this bitch come to life!" Zippo said.

"…You could have used a better choice of words, there, Zippo," Sparky said.

"Hey, I'm just telling it like it is!" the Charmeleon said.

"You're right!" Ash cried. "Although you could have put that better. I…I haven't completely remembered what's supposed to happen here, but…if Misty could forgive me for being such a jerk back then, then maybe…just maybe she can forgive me for whatever happened in this memory, too!"

"…Are you fucking KIDDING me?" Misty shrieked incredulously. "You really think it'll be that easy? You think she'll accept your apology and say, 'It's okay, Ash, I forgive you,' and everything will be hunky-dory and you get to live happily ever after? NO! That's not how this is going to work, and you're even more deluded than I thought if you actually believe it will! You can't be forgiven for what happened, and if you won't believe that, then let your memories speak for themselves!" She grinned as Ash's eyes widened in horror. "You all might want to get some popcorn, because the show is about to begin…"

"Already got some," Darkrai said, holding up a carton of popcorn.

"Where did you get that from?" asked a confused Sasha.

"And can I have some?" Zippo asked hopefully.

"I made it. I can do that in dreams, you know. God of nightmares and all," Darkrai said as he started tossing kernels into his mouth. "And no, you can't have any. Get your own."

"Aw, mon," Zippo moaned.

"I wanted some too…I'm kind of hungry," Cruise complained.

"Me too!" Tiny said.

"We can eat after we get out of here, we're going to dinner at the royal palace, they've probably got some good stuff there, since it's for royalty and all," Rose reasoned.

"They'd better!" Briney said. "I've heard that the meals most of these high-society types eat are barely edible and more about presentation than taste or nourishment. Screw that, I'm a grown mon, and when I sit down for dinner, I expect dinner, not several courses worth of unappetizing appetizers!"

"You know, I wouldn't mind getting a bite to eat too," Ash said, rubbing his stomach.

Misty facepalmed. "Oh come on! Seriously? Seriously? You choose _now_ to think about food? Gah! _Typical_ Ash Ketchum! Well, let's just see if you're still in any mood to eat after you see what's coming!"

"Mistyyyyy, are you done yet?" Ash whined…except it wasn't their Ash, and it wasn't the undead Misty he was talking to; rather, it was the human Ash, speaking to the fully alive Misty at the control panel.

"Just a minute, Ash, I'm almost done calibrating the instruments," Misty said as she flipped switches, turned knobs, and rapidly typed on a keyboard.

"How do you know how to use all that stuff, anyway?" the human Ash asked.

"Because I actually sat down to read the manual, unlike you," Misty said.

"I tried reading it, but it made my head hurt. The words were too big and there weren't enough pictures," Ash complained.

"Well, I guess that's what comes of spending your entire adolescence wandering the countryside getting into Pokémon battles rather than obtaining a college education…" Misty muttered.

"Oh look, the seeds of my utter hatred of you have already started to bloom. Being locked up down here for…I don't even know how long with nobody for company but you will have that effect on a girl, I imagine," the corpse Misty said to Lucario Ash, who was just staring at the banter of their past selves, face growing ashen.

"Well, I'll say this much for our Ash, he's gotten better at reading…somewhat," Pikachu murmured to the others. "Though I haven't seen him crack open many other books aside from that one about Aura Guardians lately."

"Probably the only one he can actually understand," Briney said somewhat disparagingly.

"All right…I think we're all set," the living Misty said, glancing up from the controls and into the room the other Ash was in. "We're ready to begin testing."

"Good. The sooner we finish up, the sooner we can have dinner, I'm starving," Ash said, tensing up.

…_He hasn't changed that much, has he?_ Dawn asked.

"No, I suppose not," Sasha said.

"Ash, don't rush through this," the living Misty scolded the other Ash. "It's important that we do this right. If we're ever to stand a chance of defeating Lord Null and making sure you don't transform into that…that _thing_ again, you have to gain control of your emotional state to master your Aura powers. Null himself said that focusing on positive emotions will help keep the darkness at bay and make you stronger, though why he'd tell us that considering he _has_ to know we're going to try and use your abilities against him I have no idea."

Ash grimaced. "Yeah, I know, it's just…it's just _hard_ to think happy thoughts considering everything that's happened. I try to think of our friends or our Pokémon or…or Mom, but…" He trailed off.

Misty sighed, nodding in understanding. "Yeah, I know. Thinking of them leads to thinking of how most of them…aren't here with us right now."

"Thanks to those bastard birds! And Null…" Ash snarled, clenching his fists and shaking with barely-controlled rage.

"Ash!" Misty shouted. "Don't get angry! Or at least, not _hateful_ angry! That's the exact opposite of what we're trying to do here, remember?"

Ash closed his eyes and took several deep breaths. Slowly he got his trembling under control. "I…I know. Sorry. It's just…it's _hard_, you know?"

Misty sighed again. "Yes, I do..."

"Do you? Do you really?" Ash asked unhappily. "You're not the one everything's hinging on. _Again_. You're not in here, trying your best to keep from getting too angry or upset because you might turn into a monster."

"You're right, I'm not," Misty agreed. "But I have to watch _you_ go through all that, and it's not easy for me either. How can it possibly be, when I'm watching the man I love wrestle for control of his heart?"

Ash slumped and looked down. "…Sorry. Again. I don't mean to talk like that to you, it's just-"

"A lot of pressure. I know," Misty said. "But that's why I'm here. To help make it easier for you to Beartic, in any way I can. We're a team, remember?"

Ash chuckled weakly. "Yeah, I guess we are. I don't know how you put up with me, Misty."

"Well, it's not like I have a choice," Misty joked. "But hey, at least I'm stuck here with you instead of Brock, otherwise he'd be trying to restart the human race with me by now!" Ash's face fell at that, and Misty cringed, realizing she'd made a mistake. "I…sorry. That wasn't in good taste, was it?"

"No, it wasn't," he agreed. He cracked a weak smile. "You're right, though. You _are_ better off with me. All you have to worry about around me is that I'm going to turn into a genocidal monster. With him, you'd have to worry about getting _pregnant._" They laughed, but there was brittleness to it, for neither of them found it very funny.

"We were so cute back then, weren't we, Ash?" the corpse Misty asked as she leaned on the Lucario Ash's shoulder again and started stroking his cheek, causing him to shudder. "What happened to ruin that? Oh wait, I remember…and soon, _so will you_."

Ritchie frowned. "Brock? Wasn't that the name of one of the other competitors at Mt. Battle?"

"One the Fighting Four—or rather, Team Aurabolt—defeated, not us," Sparky recalled.

"From what Ash has told me, Brock was one of his friends and traveling companions from back when he was a human," Pikachu explained. "The guy we fought at Mt. Battle was his reincarnation."

Ritchie frowned. "Sort of like how I'm the reincarnation of another of Ash's friends?"

Pikachu nodded. "Pretty much, yeah."

"We sure seem to be running into a lot of those lately," Sasha commented.

"Fairly convenient, I should think," Briney said. Pikachu grunted.

"Anyway, let's get started," the living Misty said, pressing a few more buttons. "I'm ready to begin whenever you are. And remember…try to think happy thoughts, okay? I know it's not easy, given the current circumstances, but…"

"I know, I know, I'll do my best." the human Ash managed a smile. "At least I know that I have one good thing still going for me."

"Me?" Misty said coyly.

"I was going to say an unlimited supply of food—even if it's not quite my mom's cooking-but that works too," Ash said. They laughed again, and this time it felt more genuine.

"So this is what an Ash and Misty who are actively together rather than constantly dancing around the topic are like…" Pikachu mused. "Interesting."

_I wonder if the current ones will be anything like this when they get together?_ Dawn wondered.

"Why does Daddy look sad?" Tiny asked.

"Because he has lost his home, his friends, and his family, and is clinging to one last frail hope for survival," Sasha said.

"I wasn't talking about Past Daddy, I mean _now_ Daddy," Tiny said, nodding at his father, who looked like he was on the brink of tears.

"…Because he knows something very bad is about to happen, and is dreading it," Lugia said sadly.

"Mon, this makes for some good drama, but it's starting to drag a little. Get to the action already!" Darkrai yelled, throwing popcorn at the humans.

"Yeah, what he said!" Zippo said, wishing he had popcorn of his own to throw. Or eat. The others glared at them. Neither Darkrai nor Zippo noticed.

"We look so happy together, don't they, Ash?" the corpse Misty asked the Lucario. Her stroking stopped and her broken nails dug into his cheek, causing him to flinch. "Too bad that happiness is about to come crashing down on our heads."

"Okay, let's do this," the human Ash said, nodding to his partner.

"All right. Scanners are up and running," Misty said as she tapped a few buttons, causing displays on her console to light up and the illumination in the room Ash was in to increase slightly. "I've also got shields and fire suppressors ready, just in case we have another accident."

"You're never gonna let me forget that, are you?" Ash asked, rolling his eyes. "I only blew up the room the one time!"

"You did it _seven_ times! In a row!" Misty snapped.

"And this'll be the eighth if you don't calm down. I'm supposed to be thinking happy thoughts, remember? Hard to do with you yelling at me," Ash said.

Misty rolled her eyes. "Ugh, fine. Keep joking around. At least it means you're in a good mood."

"And I'll do my best to keep it that way," Ash said. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "Okay…let's do this. Hnnn…." The air shimmered around him.

"What's he doing?" Tiny whispered.

"From the look on his face, he's either about to use Aura, or he's going to go to the bathroom in his pants," Zippo guessed.

"Ewwwww!" Cruise said in disgust.

Ritchie nodded. "Yep, that's why we Lucarios don't wear pants, so in case of emergencies, we don't have to waste time unbuttoning or unzipping anything, we can just do it where we stand." Everyone stared at him. "Er…too much information?"

"Yes," Sparky said flatly.

"Dude, that's the sort of thing _I'd_ usually say! Are you stealing my thing?" Zippo said accusatorily.

"Trust me Zippo when I say that stealing your 'thing' is the last thing of yours I would ever want to take," Ritchie said.

"Good to know," Zippo said with a firm nod. He paused, replaying Ritchie's words in his head. "Waaiiit…"

Zippo's first guess proved to be the correct one, as flames of Aura flickered to life around the human Ash…although somewhat worryingly, they weren't a pure blue, but closer to purple. Some were darkening to a much blacker shade. "That doesn't look good…" Pikachu murmured anxiously.

"It's Shadow Aura! Or close to it!" Ritchie gasped.

"Ash, that's the wrong color! Aura is supposed to be blue, not purple!" the human Misty said, looking and sounding equally alarmed. "Happy thoughts, remember?"

"I'm…trying…" the human Ash said through gritted teeth, fists clenched as he wrestled with the power inside of him, the color fluctuating from purple to blue and back.

"Oh, doesn't this just bring back the most _wonderful_ memories, Ash?" the corpse Misty crooned. "We're right at the brink of it now. In just a few short seconds, _it_ will happen…and everyone will know your darkest secret."

The Lucario Ash squeezed his eyes shut, his body trembling and the expression on his face becoming a mirror to that of his past self, except on a Pokémon rather than a human. "Nononononononononono_…_" he whispered, voice hitching and sounding more and more frantic by the second.

The human Ash cried out, and suddenly…

Something…strange happened. It was like a DVD skipping a second due to a scratch on its surface; an abrupt and unexpected shift in reality. It was very quick, and very subtle, so subtle in fact that only Darkrai, Lugia, and the corpse Misty noticed. To everyone else, however, nothing out of the ordinary was going on, and the human Ash had gone from struggling to keepimg his Aura from going dark to blazing like a blue torch, grinning as cerulean flames burned around him. "Yeah! I did it!" he shouted.

"Whoa, cool! So humans really _could_ use Aura!" Ritchie said.

"Yeah, but he doesn't look nearly as awesome as _you_ do doing it, Daddy," Cruise said loyally.

"Oh yeah? Well my Daddy looks even cooler!" Tiny said.

"…Tiny, that's your dad in there," Cruise pointed out.

"Oh. Well…yeah, but he's not my dad _yet_ so…um…" Tiny frowned as he tried to figure out an effective counter to this argument.

Sasha frowned, noticing her master didn't seem to be as impressed by the human Ash's feat as her friends were. "Master? Is something wrong?"

"Did you notice anything unusual just a second ago?" Darkrai asked the Absol.

Sasha blinked. "Um…I don't think so, other than seeing a human use Aura. Why, is something wrong?"

"There very well might be…" Darkrai murmured, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "Lugia, back me up here, you noticed it too, didn't you?"

The sea god nodded. "Yes, I did. I'm not entirely sure what it means, though."

"Neither am I, but I may have an idea…" Darkrai said.

"What is it?" Sasha asked in concern.

"I'll explain later, let's see how the rest of this plays out first," Darkrai said, resuming eating his popcorn. Lugia's eyes glowed as he tried to levitate a few kernels onto his tongue, but Darkrai swiped them out of the air and stuffed them in his mouth. "Get your own!" he mumbled through his full mouth. Lugia grunted in irritation. Sasha sweatdropped.

The Lucario Ash sighed in relief as the Misty corpse blinked in confusion. "What? I…I don't understand. I don't remember this…what's going on?"

"Your guess is as good as mine. This is my first time seeing this, remember?" Ash said without a hint of guile or dishonesty. The corpse frowned, a look of puzzlement and uncertainty crossing her face.

"Way to go, Ash! All our readings are near the top of the scale! I can't detect even a trace of Shadow in your current Aura projection!" the living Misty said in delight as she examined her console. "This is wonderful, our best test yet! What did you do differently this time?"

"I thought of you," the human Ash said, a Mareepish look on his face.

Misty blinked in surprise. "M-me?"

"Well, yeah," he said, as if it were obvious. "You're one of the best things that's ever happened to me, Misty, and probably the only good thing I've got left. If anything's going to bring me happiness…it's you."

Misty blushed, her eyes tearing up. "Oh, Ash…"

"Awww," Rose cooed.

"Bleck!" Tiny and Cruise gagged.

"Shut your mouths, boys!" Briney snapped, much to their surprise. "This is a…romantic moment. Don't spoil it with your childishness."

Unfortunately, the moment was spoiled anyway, not through any fault of the heroes, but because rather abruptly a huge white spike pierced the living Misty from behind and ripped through her front, her heart impaled on its tip. As she looked down at her heart, mouth gaping in disbelief, both Ashes screamed, "NO!", all the bystanders gasped, and the corpse Misty flinched and put a hand over the hole in her chest, in the same place where her living double had been stabbed.

"What…what the _fuck?_" Zippo shouted.

"No! Misty!" Pikachu cried. "Er…other Misty, I mean!"

"Future Mommy!" Tiny wailed.

"Where the hell did _that_ guy come from?" Salty cried incredulously. "He wasn't there a second ago…"

"More importantly, who or _what_ is he?" Ritchie demanded.

"Lord Null…" Lugia whispered, pupils shrunk in horror.

"Oh yeah, _now _it's getting good!" Darkrai said, shoveling popcorn into his mouth by the clawful.

The spike pulled itself out of Misty's back, the heart falling off its tip in the process and falling to the floor with a bloody splat. Misty landed on the ground right beside it with a sickening thud, no longer able to support herself due to the fact that there was a freaking hole in her chest and she was pretty much dead due to having her heart torn out. The blood-tipped spike turned out not to be a spike at all, but one of five massive talons on a huge white armored gauntlet that looked big enough to hold a human or a Pokémon about a human's size in its palm with ease. The gauntlet was attached to the equally white armored form of a massive figure standing at least twenty feet tall, most of its body enveloped by a voluminous white cape hanging from a wide spiked mantle on its shoulders. Its head was completely covered by a white helmet with numerous horns, spikes, fins, and crests jutting out from its top and sides. Its face was hidden behind a metal mask resembling a ghoulish grinning skull that bore only a marginal resemblance to any known human or Pokémon species with glowing purple eyes. The armored giant laughed, its voice a booming telepathic siren so loud and deep that it made everyone cringe and clutch their heads in pain, feeling migraines coming on. _IT IS DONE._

"_That_ is Lord Null?" said a shocked Sasha.

"…I was going to say I expected him to be taller, but he's pretty damn big," Briney admitted.

_That is Null? But…I have seen Oblivion's Shadow, and he looks nothing like that!_ Said the confused Dawn.

"This is what he wore a thousand years ago, remember?" Darkrai said, still munching on his popcorn. "Villainous fashion trends change over time. He probably thought 'black faceless shadow' would look better on him than 'white specter of death.' Although, to be fair to the guy, he looks pretty fearsome in either outfit. _I'm_ still scarier, of course."

"…You're sitting there eating popcorn. What's scary about that?" Cruise asked.

Darkrai frowned and waved his hand over his carton. Instantly, every kernel gained a face and started screaming and wailing in terror. He grabbed a handful of kernels, ignoring how much they were crying out and begging for mercy, and shoved them into his mouth, agonized screams ringing from his jaws in between each bite. "There. That scary enough for you?" he asked, bits of kernel flying from his mouth.

"Um. Yes. Very much so," Cruise said, turning green.

"That was so _cool!_" Zippo said excitedly, to nobody's surprise.

"MISTY! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" both Ashes screamed, Auras flaring up around them. They lunged forwards, the human Ash not caring that there was a big plate glass window in the way and smashing through it like tissue paper, sending huge pieces of metal and glass flying everywhere. A lot of the shrapnel sailed through the air towards Null, but vanished inches away from the titan's frame. Everyone else braced themselves as the remainder of the debris flew towards them, but since it was all illusory it just passed right through them without harm. Both Ashes knelt before Misty's bleeding body and reached out to her. The Lucario Ash's paws passed right through her, much to his dismay, while the human Ash gently picked her up and clutched her dead form to his chest, sobbing, refusing to believe her life had been snuffed out as easily as a candle even as her blood soaked into his clothes and stained his hands and face. "Please…don't die…" both Ashes whispered, though it sounded more forlorn and haunted from the Lucario, and more raw and visceral from the human. "I'm so sorry…" Lugia frowned at this but said nothing. He and Darkrai exchanged glances again.

"This…this isn't what happened…" said the corpse Misty, staring at the scene with a shocked look on her face. "I don't…I don't remember it happening like this…"

"Why…why did you do this?" both Ashes shouted at Null in unison as the white behemoth loomed over them and the dead (dead dead, not zombie dead) Misty. "I thought you wanted us to live! _Both_ of us!"

I CHANGED MY MIND, Null said, turning and moving away from the Ashes. The heroes cringed and scurried out of the way as he approached. Even though they knew on a rational level that he couldn't touch them or even see them, that didn't mean any of them wanted to get in his way. Even Lugia and Darkrai moved aside, though they tried to be more discreet and dignified about it. PRAY I DO NOT CHANGE IT FURTHER.

"He totally stole that line from Space Wars!" Zippo complained. Everyone shushed him.

The two Ashes sat on the ground trembling and weeping, looking helpless and bereft. The human Ash had Misty clutched to his chest too, while the Lucario has his arms wrapped around himself, as if holding an invisible body to his torso. "You…you bastard…" they both whispered. It was eerie how synchronized their voices and motions were.

Lord Null paused and blanced back. HMM?

The human Ash carefully placed Misty on the ground and stood up. The Lucario did the same. Both of them were still shaking, but now it was from anger rather than despair. "You…you bastard…" they snarled. The human's head rose up, eyes turning white as his Aura became pitch black. "I'm…I'm going to KILL YOU!" The Ashes threw back their heads and screamed long and loud, a primal wail more animal than human (or Pokémon), a scream that forced everyone to clutch their ears to keep from going deaf.

"WHAT'S HAPPENING?" Ritchie screamed.

"SOMETHING VERY, VERY BAD, I THINK!" Pikachu shouted in reply.

"DAAAAAAAADDYYYYYYYYY!" Tiny howled.

Black flames exploded outwards from the human Ash in every direction, engulfing everything in sight. Null staggered backwards, an energy shield forming around him that was only barely able to keep the Shadow Aura at bay. The others couldn't help panicking a little as the Shadow washed over them too. Even though they knew it was fake, that didn't stop it from being scary.

Well, for most of them, anyway. "This is better than any 3D movie I've ever seen!" Zippo gushed.

"I know, right?" Darkrai agreed.

Eventually, the darkness faded, and they found themselves somewhere…else. They were standing, much to their surprise, in thin air over a massive pit several miles wide that ran so deep they couldn't see the bottom. Purple and black fumes of Shadow rose from the depths, fouling the air and distorting the view…not that there was much to see. The land surrounding the pit was equally barren, nothing but scorched and dead wasteland stretching to the horizon in every direction, with barely any untouched natural or artificial landmarks to be seen; no mountains or lakes or hills or towns or cities or anything at all, just the sort of desert you would expect to see in a post-apocalyptic setting, which this most certainly appeared to be, given the smattering of broken ruins here and there. Oddly, the skies were completely clear, granting an absolutely perfect view of the stars, undiluted by manmade light and air pollution. The beauty of the heavens starkly contrasted with the lifeless desolation stretching out beneath the night sky. Very far off in the distance, a shining citadel of light and metal could just barely be seen, the sole intact structure visible in this empty place.

"Where…were _are_ we?" Happy whispered as she and everyone else looked around in horror.

"The world," Lugia said solemnly. "Or what was left of it after Lord Null finished wiping out all life on Earth, that is."

"Geez…and is this the sort of thing that'll happen if the Nihilators succeed?" Ritchie asked.

_No,_ Dawn said, narrowing her eyes. _It will be worse._

"How did we get here? What happened to that place we were in?" Rose asked worriedly.

"I think we're standing in it," Sasha said. She looked down into the pit. "Or over it, rather."

"Uh, yeah, how are we doing that, exactly?" Pikachu said, looking somewhat unnerved by the ground that wasn't beneath their feet.

"None of this is real, remember?" Briney pointed out. "So we're not actually standing in midair because there is no air. And no pit. And no shattered dead world. It's all an illusion."

"Yes, but this actually _happened_ once…" Salty said uneasily. "To think it could have gotten this bad…"

"The Savior fixed it," Sparky reminded him.

"That doesn't change the fact that it happened in the first place," Cruise said glumly.

Ritchie nodded in agreement. "All our lives we've heard that the world before was pretty much destroyed by a great cataclysm…but it never really clicked until now just how horrible that was. Not until I saw this. All those lives…all those humans and Pokémon…it's terrible…"

"Eh, I can think of worse," Zippo said.

"Me too," Darkrai agreed. They glared at them.

"And Daddy had to live through all this? Poor Daddy…" Tiny whispered.

"Speaking of which, where is Ash? Er, both of them?" Sparky said.

"Well, _one_ of them is right over there," Briney said, pointing towards the center of the crater. "The other guy…I'm not too sure about…"

They looked where Briney was pointing, and recoiled. Some distance away, standing in midair over the pit just like them, was Lord Null, not looking like the explosion of Shadow Aura had affected him much at all. Standing before him, a terrifying look of rage and hatred on his face, was the Ash they knew, his Aura burning dangerously close to purple. And standing next to him was…Ash.

Or rather, what _used_ to be Ash. The pitch-black figure standing there, covered completely in swirling Aura darker than darkness itself, its eyes absolutely white voids empty of emotion or spirit or anything even remotely human, bore only the vaguest similarity to the young man they had seen in its place just moments ago. It looked less like a living thing at all but rather some primal power poured into a vaguely human shape, an avatar of some elemental force of pure destruction manifested on the material plane. To stare upon it was to invite madness, for just looking at the entity caused the heroes to feel terror and despair and loss beyond knowing.

Darkrai actually shuddered. "He's just as creepy as I remembered…"

"You're afraid of him?" Sasha asked incredulously.

"Seems that way," Darkrai said, looking just as surprised.

"But…you're the god of nightmares! How can you fear anything?" Sasha asked.

"You can't instill fear in others if you don't know what it feels like yourself," Darkrai said sagely.

"That…that's _Ash?_" Pikachu said incredulously.

"Or what he'll become if he can't save himself…" Briney said.

Dawn looked at their Ash, standing beside his Shadowed counterpart, and grimaced. _At the moment, it doesn't look like he'll be doing much of that anytime soon…_

"D-Daddy?" Tiny whispered, terrified.

"…That! _That's_ a Void Pokémon?" cried an incredulous and horrified Sparky.

"Void human," Lu said numbly without taking his eyes off the abomination.

"Huh?" Ritchie said, also not looking away from the atrocity.

"Void human. He's a human, not a Pokémon," Lu said.

"Ah. Good point," Sparky said.

"It's…it's even more horrifying than I had ever imagined…" Ritchie whispered.

"Daddy, you…you're never going to turn into that, are you?" Cruise asked fearfully.

Ritchie shook his head. "No way. I'm…I'm never going to lose myself like that."

"And…and I don't think I want you to, anymore," Zippo said, the blood draining from his face. "This isn't half as cool as I thought it would be."

"Oh, Ash…" Lugia whispered, closing his eyes in sorrow.

…IMPRESSIVE, Null said as he looked at the destruction around and beneath them. YOUR POWER HAS MATURED QUITE NICELY. The thing that Ash had become just stared at him. YOU HAVE NO DESIRE FOR VENGEANCE, DO YOU? YOU PROBABLY DON'T EVEN REMEMBER WHY YOU'RE ANGRY…OR WHO YOU WERE BEFORE. OR WHO I AM, EITHER. ALL THAT YOU DESIRE IS DESTRUCTION, AND NOTHING ELSE MATTERS BUT THAT. HOW…SAD. I ALMOST PITY YOU.

Without making a noise or taking a step or even changing its expression, the Shadowed Ash's Aura flared up, tendrils of raw Shadow shooting through the air towards Null. The leader of Annihilation didn't budge either, the tendrils smashing into an invisible shield around him and shattering. This only prompted the former Ash to fling more and more tendrils at Null, with similar success, or rather, a lack thereof. Null extended an arm from his cape and swept it through the air, generating a wave of force that dispelled the tendrils in the air and buffeted Ash, pushing him back…a single step. HMM. YOU ARE RESILIENT. WERE YOU HUMAN STILL, THAT ATTACK WOULD HAVE DISINTEGRATED YOU INSTANTLY.

Ash's Aura blazed up in reply. Unbothered, Lord Null turned and presented his back to the monster. I WOULD LOVE TO BATTLE YOU NOW, BUT I HAVE MORE IMPORTANT MATTERS I MUST ATTEND TO. IF YOU WISH TO FACE ME, COME TO MY CASTLE. YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE ANY TROUBLE FINDING IT. IT'S NOT LIKE THERE'S ANYTHING ELSE AROUND HERE. He took a step forward, and then paused, glancing back over his shoulder at Ash. FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH, I'M SORRY THAT IT HAD TO COME TO THIS. He vanished in a flash of light.

The Shadowed Ash stared at where Lord Null had been standing for a long while, his white eyes blank and empty. Finally, he took a step forward, then another, slowly walking through the air towards the edge of the pit in the direction of the distant citadel, which, thankfully, did not take him close to the guests in Ash's mind, much to their relief. Eerily, he seemed to leave _footprints_ in the air…except they weren't footprints so much as holes in the world, rifts burning with Shadow Aura that slowly expanded outwards in Ash's wake, gradually consuming the air and light around them. Everyone watched on in silence as the monster reached the edge of the pit, stepped onto solid ground, and kept walking. It wasn't until he was nothing more than a black speck off in the distance that they could finally relax; releasing a breath they hadn't even been aware they had been holding. The Lucario Ash, on the other hand, kept staring after his doppleganger from the past, a distant and shell-shocked look on his face.

"Well, that was intense," Lu said, wiping away some sweat.

"I was so nervous back there I finished all my popcorn," Darkrai complained, turning his carton upside-down and shaking it to see if there were any kernels left.

"So that's what happened a thousand years ago? That's what Ash feels so awful about?" Ritchie spoke up. "His inability to save Misty and the world…and the fact that he went completely berserk over it and turned into a monster."

"Poor guy…that's really rough. No wonder he hates himself so much!" Zippo said, shaking his head sadly.

"Oh, Ash…" Pikachu said sadly.

"…I think I'm going to stop needling Ash all the time now," Briney said after a moment. "I…I didn't know he was holding all this in. And…if reminding him about it all the time hurts him so much, then…then what kind of mon would I be to bring it up all the time?"

"But…wait…I don't understand. Lord Null killed Future Mommy, not Past Daddy. So…why does the scary zombie lady hate Daddy so much?" asked the confused Tiny.

"Because she's not actually Misty, she's just a construct of Ash's subconscious feelings of guilt," Briney said. "Ash blames himself for not being able to save Misty, so this imaginary version of Misty does, too."

"Actually, that's only half-right," Darkrai said, throwing his empty popcorn carton away.

"Huh? What do you mean?" asked the confused Pikachu.

"We aren't being told the whole story here," Lugia said, narrowing his eyes. "Something about this memory doesn't seem right…"

"Yeah, this whole thing is messed up!" Cruise agreed.

Lugia shook his head. "That's not what I'm talking about."

"Then what _are_ you talking about?" Lu demanded.

"What we saw here was not what actually happened on that day," Darkrai said.

The heroes exchanged perplexed looks as they tried to understand this. "…I don't understand. Are you saying Ash is remembering things wrong?" Sasha asked.

"That…is _one_ possibility, yes," Lugia said vaguely.

"And what's the other?" Briney asked.

Before either of the two gods could answer, they heard a scream of fury, and whirled around just in time to see the corpse Misty, whom all of them had forgotten about, rush across the pit and punch Ash in the face, sending him staggering back a few steps. "You complete and utter BASTARD!" she shrieked, spitting blood and a few teeth and some maggots in her rage.

"M-Misty? What-" Ash stammered as he tried to regain his balance.

She lunged forwards and lashed out with her jagged, broken nails, cutting open his cheek and causing him to cry out in pain as blood ran down his face from the resulting gashes. "I knew you were a spineless coward, Ash, but I didn't think you would go to these lengths to run from the truth!"

"W-what are you talking about?" Ash cried, cupping his hand to the bleeding scratches on his cheek.

Zippo winced. "Oh mon, hope he doesn't get infected from those and turn into a zombie."

"…Why would that happen?" asked a confused Happy.

"Because that's what happens when zombies scratch or bite you, you turn into one yourself," Zippo said.

"Really? I thought it was just the biting. That's what Leo said when we ran into zombies in Twilight's Edge," Tiny said.

"Eh, depends on the zombie," Zippo said.

"Should we be talking about what kind of zombie Misty is while she's attacking Ash?" Sasha asked.

"Why? She's not real, remember. Not like she's actually hurting him," Salty said.

"First off, that doesn't mean we shouldn't help him, since as I recall, that's what we came here to do," Ritchie pointed out. "And second…_we_ can't hurt Misty because she's a projection of Ash's feelings. But since she's attacking Ash, maybe he's actually…I don't know, in pain, since he's really hurting himself?"

"Darkrai, you're the expert here. Is that happening right now?" Lugia asked in concern.

Darkrai tapped his chin in thought. "Mmm…yeah. Might want to get on that."

"Shit! Everyone, let's go!" Pikachu cried, running towards Ash, who was letting Misty wail on him without showing any signs of retaliating.

"DADDY!" Tiny screamed, flying towards his father. The others chased after them.

All except Darkrai, who vanished briefly and reappeared right next to Ash and Misty. He made no move to help Ash—since, as was mentioned before, he couldn't—but he was close enough to listen to Misty's ranting and hopefully understand some more about what was really going on here. Misty, not seeming to notice Darkrai's presence or the approach of the others, just kept attacking Ash while screaming at him. "You worthless, stupid, insensitive, dirty rotten lying COWARD! Even here, inside your own _head_, you won't stop lying to yourself and running away from the truth!"

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Ash protested desperately as he stumbled backwards to try and evade Misty's attacks.

"Oh, PLEASE! Like I said before, you can lie to your friends and you can lie to yourself, but you can't lie to me!" she yelled, launching a kick at his midsection, which he only barely dodged. "If what we just saw here were really the truth, then I wouldn't have any power over you! But the fact that you're dodging me, that you're not even TRYING to fight back, shows that you're still unwilling to face what really happened! And because of that I'm still here, I'm still like this, and I STILL HATE YOU!" She lunged again. This time he didn't get out of the way in time and she tackled him to the…well, not ground, since they were standing on thin air, but whatever force was keeping them from falling into a deep pit. Howling, she started punching him in the face repeatedly. "I'm going to make you admit the truth even if it kills you, something I wouldn't particularly mind right about now!"

"S-stop! Please! I don't know what you're talking about! This is what happened! I'm sorry I couldn't save you, but this is how you died! What else do you want from me?" Ash begged, putting up only the feeblest of struggles, which only incensed his tormentor further.

"TAUROSSHIT!" Misty clamped her cold hands around Ash's neck and started throttling him. "Say it! Say who killed me!"

"Lord Null!" Ash gasped.

She headbutted him, breaking his nose. "Liar! Say who killed me!"

"Lord Null!" Ash repeated.

She headbutted him again. His vision went black for a moment, and when he regained his sight it was fuzzy and he was having trouble making out anything but the snarling, hate-filled face of the living corpse straddling him. Not a pleasant sight to wake up to. "LIAR! SAY WHO KILLED ME!"

"LORD NULL!" Ash shouted.

That was not the answer Misty wanted. She headbutted him again. This time he almost blacked out, and due to how he was having a great deal of difficulty getting any air due to Misty strangling him, it wouldn't be much longer before 'almost' became 'definitely.' All around him he could hear the desperate shouts and cries of his friends, but they sounded far away, as if he was hearing them from a great distance. They were drowned out by the far-too-loud noises of his haggard, sharp breaths, the roar of the blood in his ears, and Misty screaming, again and again, to tell him who had killed her.

He didn't understand why she was doing this. Well, okay, he did, she blamed him for letting her die, which was perfectly understandable. But why did she keep insisting Lord Null hadn't killed her? There was nobody else who could have. No other way she could have died. Which meant Null _had_ to have killed her. But then why did Misty seem so certain that that wasn't the case?

It might have been the lack of oxygen flowing to his brain, but another possibility occurred to him, but it was one so horrific that he instantly forgot that he had even thought it…which might have been for the better, since to even consider it in his current state might have destroyed him utterly. So instead, he said, "You…you killed yourself."

Misty paused for a moment, staring at him incredulously. "I killed myself? What? That doesn't even make any…" She frowned. "No, wait, it does. Trapped in an inescapable shelter with nobody but the man I thought I loved but was slowly growing to despise, the almost certain knowledge that everyone I loved and cared about was dead, the world itself pretty much toast, with no end to my torment in sight but death. Yes, I could see why I might kill myself to try and escape my fate. The only problem is that's not what happened, and both of us know it, so why don't you just save yourself the trouble and tell me what _really_ happened!"

"I-I can't!" he gasped.

"Tell me!"

"I can't!"

"TELL ME!"

"I CAN'T!"

She stared at him in astonishment, and, surprisingly to both of them, pity. "…You really can't, can you? You've buried it so deep that you won't let even the threat of death, be it real or imagined, pull it from you. I don't know whether that's impressive or just plain _sad_." Much to his surprise, Misty let go of his neck and stood up. She didn't give him a chance to recover, though, before she kicked him in the throat and sent him into choking convulsions again. "We're done here. For now. This isn't working, so I'll have to think of something else. Don't think this is over, though, I won't stop until I force you to acknowledge the truth to yourself, no matter how much it hurts either of us. And just between you and me, I'm hoping it hurts you a _lot_." She turned from the gagging Ash and looked indifferently as the Lucario's friends, who were surrounding her with looks of fury and hatred and worry and fear on their faces. "Some friends you were. Didn't even do a thing to stop me from hurting your best pal here. You _sure_ you care about him as much as you say you do, and weren't secretly hoping I'd kill him so you didn't have to worry about a repeat of, well, _this?_" she asked, waving vaguely at the crater they were standing over.

"We tried to stop you!" Tiny protested. "But we just kept going right through you whenever we tried to pull you away from Daddy!"

"And it's not like grabbing Ash would do any good, since you were strangling him and moving him might have just made it worse…" Ritchie said, looking unhappy that they had been unable to assist Ash.

Misty smirked. "Uh-huh. Sure. That's a wonderful excuse for your failure to help Ash. Why did you lot come down here again? Seems to me you did nothing but waste my time and gawk uselessly from the sidelines. Then again, that's pretty much all Ash's friends in the old days did, too. Even me. Ugh, it's disgusting how pointless he made us most of the time. I don't even know how you can stand it."

"Because he's our friend!" Pikachu said angrily.

"Yeah? Well, so was I, and look where it got me!" Misty snapped, gesturing at her decaying form with evident self-loathing. "If I were you, I'd reconsider just how badly you want to be friends with the coward here, unless you want to wind up like yours truly: more rotting ghouls shambling through his subconscious filled with nothing but undying hatred for someone who was once the most important person in your life."

"That will not happen," Lugia said.

Misty laughed bitterly. "Funny, that's pretty much what I thought once upon a time. Oh well. At least if you die, I'll get some company in here. Then I won't be alone with nobody to share my hatred." She lurched towards them. Although they tensed at her approach, none of them moved out of her way. She didn't particularly seem to care and just walked through those who stood in her path, causing them to shiver as her immaterial body phased through them. Without looking back, she lifted an arm and lazily waved at them as she shambled into the distance. "Be seeing you." She disappeared.

"Hopefully, not anytime soon…" Salty muttered. He turned to join the others as they clustered around Ash, who was sitting up with a dazed look on his face as he stared in the direction Misty had gone.

"Daddy! Daddy!" Tiny cried, nuzzling his father's chest, upset not only by the emotional turmoil he could sense through their bond…but by the fact that Ash didn't even seem to notice he was there.

"Ash! Are you all right?" Pikachu asked worriedly.

"Of course he's not all right; he got the crap kicked out of him by a zombie facsimile of his girlfriend!" Briney snarled. "How would _you_ feel in that situation?" Pikachu and Dawn frowned at him. Briney blinked. "Oh, wait; you know what that's like. Never mind."

"Well, to be fair, I didn't quite get the crap kicked out of me," Pikachu said.

Dawn nodded. _You fought admirably. The fact that you were able to best me with such skill, while at the same time controlling your power enough not to kill me, is something that I shall always respect you for._ Pikachu smiled briefly at that.

"And speaking of fighting…Ash, why did you not defend yourself? You just let her keep hitting you, over and over," said the confused Sasha. "She might have killed you-or sort-of killed you, I'm not really sure how this sort of thing works—if that had gone on for much longer, but not once did you try to put a stop to it. You have fought against far stronger and more dangerous adversaries. So why did you just…let her hurt you like that?"

At this, Ash finally seemed to come to, though there was still a distant look in his eyes. "Because I deserved it, for what I did. Even if I can't remember it right—like Misty seems to think—I know it was so bad that I _have_ to have deserved this, because otherwise Misty wouldn't hate me so much." As they gasped and stared at him in disbelief, he continued, saying, in a defeated tone of voice, "And besides…it was Misty. I could never hurt her or even an illusion of her. How…how could I possibly…" Trembling, he lowered his head to his chest as tears started running down his snout and falling into the pit, mixing with the blood from the scratches on his cheek and the other bruises and cuts Misty's savage beating had inflicted on his face to make it look like he was crying blood. His teammates exchanged sorrowful looks before moving in to hug him (Yes, even Briney! He was surprised too.), wanting to remind him that they were still there and that they loved him…even if he no longer seemed to love himself.

Ritchie, standing a few feet away with Team Getem, shook his head miserably. "Oh, Ash…"

Sparky sighed unhappily. "I hope that if we ever have to enter _your_ head, it will not be quite as twisted as…this was."

"So do I," Ritchie said unhappily, hugging Cruise, who was so distraught by everything they had just seen that he wanted nothing more than to be comforted by his father.

"R-Rose, you…you would never…act like that to me, right?" Zippo asked desperately. "You would never hate me that much, right?"

"No! No, of course not!" Rose said, aGastly. "I _love_ you, Zippo, and nothing will change that!"

"Thanks, babe," Zippo said in relief…though a part of him wondered if Misty had thought the same thing too, once upon a time.

Lugia closed his eyes and hung his head despondently. "This did not go at all like I had expected it to."

"Life rarely does," Darkrai said solemnly, arms folded across his chest in thought. "Even so, this has been a very insightful vision as to just how royally fucked up Ash's mind is. I already know what's wrong with him, of course, and what _really_ happened. Have you figured that out for yourself?"

Lugia nodded. "Although I wish otherwise, I think I have."

"What're you going to do about it?" Darkrai asked.

"…I am uncertain," Lugia confessed. "I do not think I should tell Ash my suspicions yet. He is too fragile, more so than I ever imagined. It might…shatter him."

"You can't just leave him like this," Darkrai pointed out with a frown.

"I do not intend to. I will go to the Tao Trio for guidance. They know more about spiritual balance than almost anyone on this planet. Hopefully, they can provide some assistance," Lugia said.

"And if they can't?" Darkrai asked.

Lugia sighed. "Then I do not know what else I will do." He shook his head wearily. "This is not at all what I had expected of Ash. The prophecies said nothing about this."

"Yeah, they rarely do," Darkrai said cynically. "Still, if Arceus made and chose the kid, then that means he'll probably pull through in the end…though I doubt it'll be easy."

"Nor do I," Lugia said glumly.

"Anyway, I think this is where we part ways. I have things of my own to do in the waking world…namely, pestering Oblivion's Shadow about how badly he's failed this time," Darkrai said cheerfully.

"Have fun with that," Lugia said.

"I intend to," Darkrai said as he faded away.

Lugia looked at Ash, surrounded and embraced by his friends, yet still looking completely and utterly alone, and felt a part of his heart break. "Oh, Ash…" he whispered as great silvery tears began to roll down his cheeks. "What are we going to do with you now?"

…

A little later…

When the fourteen heroes reawakened back in the Fantasma mansion, the seven sisters immediately knew something was wrong by how listless and depressed they all looked…and the fact that Ash was just lying on his back rather than making a token effort to pick himself up like the others were, staring up at the ceiling with moist eyes and an expression of utter defeat on his face. "I…take it zings didn't go as well as you 'ad 'oped in zere?" Mirami asked softly.

"That," Lu said as she groaned and stretched her muscles. "Is an understatement."

"You didn't see what we were doing in there?" Ritchie asked as he stood up.

Phoebe shook her head. "We just maintained ze spell allowing you to enter Ash's mind. We zought it would be rude to spy on you."

"A lesson some of us could take to heart," Pikachu said halfheartedly, not even bothering to glance in Briney's direction.

"Eh," Briney said wearily, not even in the mood to argue, which was very unusual for the sea captain.

Bow cringed. "Zat bad, 'uh?"

"Worse," Tiny said morosely.

"Well, at least Ash 'asn't turned into a 'orrible monster! Zat's somezing, right?" Nefertari said, trying to lift everyone's mood. It didn't work. Her face fell. "Right?"

Pikachu grunted as he sat up, rubbing his face, which felt like it had fallen asleep due to…well, his falling asleep while lying on top of a map spread across a cold stone platform. When he had finished rubbing sensation back into his face, he looked down and by chance saw that the image on the map had changed again. He stared at it in confusion, not recognizing the strange diagram it was showing him at first. It looked like a series of concentric ring surrounding a central circle, with several smaller circles transecting the rings, moving slowly along their circumference as he watched. There were three glowing dots clustered around the circle going around the fourth ring from the middle, indicating that the last Star Badges were there. But…where was that place? It didn't look like anyplace on Sinnorre, let alone Earth-

Wait. Wait a second. His eyes widened as a horrible thought occurred to him, his mind flashing back to a half-forgotten astronomy lesson from his childhood, what seemed like ages ago. His heart sank as he realized the implications if what he suspected were true, this latest disappointment serving to crush his spirit even further after the unmitigated disaster that had just occurred inside Ash's head. "Mars?" he whispered as he was overwhelmed by despair. "They're on _Mars?_"

How could they ever hope to defeat the Nihilators if they weren't even on the same _planet_?

…

And on that rather shocking bombshell, we end this chapter. Tune in next time for the latest installment of the adventures of Misty and assorted other side characters! As well as seeing Oblivion's Shadow's reaction to this latest setback. Won't that be fun?


	59. Whatever happened to whatshername? pt 6

And so this ultra-long arc finally comes to a conclusive end with this, the latest installment in the 'Whatever happened to whatshername?' series. As is the norm for these chapters, several loose plot threads throughout the arc will be tied up, and more will begin for the next one. I'm afraid to say, however, the next arc will probably be even _longer_ than the one we just finished, though I'll try my best to make the chapters shorter. I'm afraid I can't make any promises or guarantees on that, however, since we all know how well those turned out in the past.

In any event, let's get this started. Per the usual, the main characters won't be doing much this chapter, so the secondary cast gets the spotlight, which I personally think is fine since they always have so much interesting stuff going on, don't they?

Now, let's see what our friends in the limelight are up to…

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

As the Sun began its ascent over the shining city of New Avalon, several hundred of the most powerful and influential beings in the realm gathered in the Grand Council chamber deep within the halls of the Queen's palace in the heart of the city. It was in this chamber that some of the most momentous and nation-changing decisions in the nine-hundred year history of Fichina had taken place, and the undying monarch Queen Ninianne had been present for every one of them, just as she was present for the very important emergency session she had called to order that very morning to reveal the existence of the Nihilators and the threat they posed not only to everyone in her country, but to the entire world.

The Grand Council chamber was, as the name implied, grand in size and scope, a huge spherical room carved out of the immeasurably vast interior of the royal palace with a surface painted and enchanted to resemble the night sky. Astronomically accurate constellations and galaxies danced across the curved walls of the Council chamber, displaying the wonders of the universe to all present in the room. The images on the walls were synchronized with the approximate view of what the stars would look like from the center of the solar system without the light of the Sun getting in the way, making it one of the most accurate star-gazing tools available, and astronomers from all over the world were willing to give up an arm and a leg (sometimes literally) for a chance to study when the Council was not in session.

The walls weren't the only astronomically accurate aspect of the Council chamber, however. The chamber also housed the world's biggest orrery in the form of the seats used by the few hundred or so noble heads of houses, government officials, military officers, politicians and bureaucrats, scientists, high-level mages, and other individuals whose job it was to keep Fichina running in one piece. Floating platforms made of precious, semiprecious, and more common materials filled the room, arranged in three-dimensional rings going outward from the center of the room and clustered together to mimic the numerous planets, moons, planetoids, and notable asteroids, comets, and planetisimals filling the solar system, moving in orbits also similar to those of the stellar bodies they resembled that defined their importance based on proximity to the center of the chamber. The outermost platforms were delegated to the most minor functionaries, while ones closer to the center were reserved to the movers and shakers and most powerful and important beings in the realm that oversaw their outer brethren and in general helped to Get Things Done. Each platform also grew in size and material value the closer one was to the center of the chamber, another indication of their importance to the government. This had nothing to do with the wealth of the Pokémon who were assigned these platforms; in fact, a lot of the officials closest to the center of the room actually made _less_ money on average than some of the Pokémon closer to the outer rim of the room, but due to their importance in Her Magisty's government were awarded a higher rank and prestige than those outer functionaries, most of whom had obtained their platforms through wealth or nepotism rather than merit. Queen Ninianne had little tolerance for sycophants or parasites in her court, and ensured that the most important jobs went to the most worthy individuals, rather than whoever had the bigger wallet. (Much to the chagrin of Goldor, who had not been able to purchase even a single seat on the Council despite decades of trying.) Every platform was occupied by a Pokémon or creature that looked like a Pokémon or something that looked like it came from a Clefairy tale. Despite a mandatory summons from the Queen, not all the Council members had been able to make it in person due to being far from home on the other side of the world (or even in another plane), but were able to attend either through proxies or telepresence, hence why a small portion of the attendees were somewhat transparent. (Well, a lot of them were already transparent due to being Ghosts or some other kind of spirit, but this was a different kind of transparent.) Only members of the Grand Council—or guests—were allowed in the chamber during sessions, so there were no viewing areas for the public, but floating crystals and magitech cameras hovering around the room in orbits like glittering jewel-like comets were able to transmit images of the Council proceedings onto the crystal network used by the general public so that the average citizen of Fichina could watch the workings of their government from the cozy confines of their living rooms. (Most didn't, naturally, because it was usually pretty boring, but the Queen had strongly suggested everyone should watch this session, and so everyone who had a crystal—which was everyone—tuned in to watch the meeting.) For this special occasion, the proceedings of this session were being broadcast to other nations as well, whether they wanted to see it or not, because the events of this meeting would have broad repercussions not just for Fichina, but for the entire world.

The central platform, more ornate and radiant than the others, was naturally the one the Queen used. The platform was made of molten gold held in place by magic and hemispherical in shape, with several rays jutting out from the sides to simulate solar flares. In fact, they _were_ simulating solar flares, because the rays were constantly moving about the platform's surface, spurting out and then retracting back inside the hemisphere in sympathy with the behavior of the real Sun. Ninianne herself sat in the center of the solar platform in a high-backed gem-studded throne with heavenly wings spreading out to the sides much like her hair and a transparent sphere of crackling energy floating overhead with a very large, very beautiful, and very sharp crystalline sword suspended in its center, its tip pointed straight downwards at the head of the seated Gothitelle much like the fabled sword of Damocles. (Of course, it would take a lot more than a sword to the head to actually kill her, but it was symbolic of the perils one in power constantly had to face, even one as virtually all-powerful as the Queen.) Standing at her right hand was her Champion, Princess Boa, while her cup-bearer, a Snover, stood by her left side. A water spirit in the shape of a Surskit resided happily in her lap, looking out at everything around it with eyes far more intelligent than one would expect from a pet. Lugia, Reshiram, Zekrom, and Kyurem were standing at the edges of the platform in the four cardinal directions, while Victini was sitting on top of the throne, looking adorable in her ceremonial armor, which was virtually identical to her regular armor except it was more colorful, had fewer skulls, and more ribbons. Several of the other leading figures who had joined the Queen on the train platform the previous day to welcome the passengers of the Enchanted Express to their fair city were standing on the platforms closest to Ninianne, demonstrating just how important they were considering that nobody outside of these inner orbits had been invited to join her.

The platform symbolizing Mercury was currently occupied by the aforementioned passengers, and had been magically enlarged so that all of them could fit on it comfortably, even the Decepticon Outlaw, who was not particularly impressed by her surroundings and was quietly griping to Sam about how inaccurate the stars were and how the Iacon High Council Tower on Cybertron was much bigger and _much_ cooler, or at least it had been until it had gotten blown up by Megatron's forces, converted into a gladiator arena, blown up again, turned into a brothel, blown up again, turned into a bar, blown up again, turned into a casino, blown up again, briefly turned into a rather nice botanical garden, then got blown up once more before being reconstructed as a mix of all the previous structures except for the garden and became a pit of debauchery and sin almost rivaling the ones in the Decepticon capital of Kaon. (_**"So basically, it didn't really change much at all from what it was in the Golden Age,"**_ Outlaw joked.) The platform, which belonged to the Fantasmas due to their holding the ducal title and all the other things their family had done for the realm, usually had the family seal covering the floor, but thanks to the revival of the Yukihimi house at Lily's nonexistent hands the previous day, the platform—which had once been the Yukihimis, since _they_ had held the ducal title before the Fantasmas—was now split in two, with one half bearing the Fantasma crest, while the other bore the Yukihimi's, an incredibly ornate snowflake with lots of 'Ys' in it. A very uncomfortable-looking Lily floated on the Yukihimi half of the platform, wearing a beautiful ice-white cloak that looked like a glacier somehow transformed into fabric (it was, actually) with a diamond bearing the snowflake crest clasping it together around her neck. Her long hair had been done up in a bun held together by her engagement ring, since there weren't exactly a lot of places for her to put it. Atlametheus had tried to get her to wear one of the family diadems for this auspicious occasion, but she'd refused to part with her hat, so they compromised by turning her hat blue with some snowflakes decorating the sides and put the diamond-studded diadem on the brim. Leo, looking way too excited for his own good, stood next to her, wearing a Yukihimi family engagement ring Atlametheus had managed to scrounge up for him along with the traditional consort's uniform…which was a very tight blue loincloth and a diamond-studded collar. And not much else.

"The heads of the Yukihimi household have always had very particular…tastes," the Golurk had said rather awkwardly upon presenting Leo with his new uniform earlier that morning.

"Kinky," Leo had replied as he put it on, not seeing anything wrong with it while Lily turned so red some of the ice around them started to melt and Fantina burst into uproarious laughter.

The hulking servitor loomed over its new mistress to protect her from the stares of several of the members on the Council, who did not look to be quite as easygoing or willing to forgive her heritage as some of the other Pokémon she had encountered since coming to Fichina. The rest of Team Aurabolt, wearing formal accoutrements of their own, stood around the engaged couple to show their support. Ash was wearing his gloves and a cloak Byron had lent him which, in combination with his staff, made him look more like an Aura Guardian and hid the fact that he hadn't slept at all last night and was still somewhat reeling from the rather traumatic events of the previous afternoon. Pikachu was wearing ceremonial armor borrowed from Leeku with Thunder Fang slung prominently across his back without its scabbard so that all could see its glory, reduced though it might have been. Dawn stood at his side, wearing the same geisha outfit she'd used for the first day on the train, only without the makeup since there was no longer any need to hide who she was. Additionally, she had dyed her fur black again and wore the red feathers and gold ornaments she usually used when dressed as a full ninja, though she had been convinced—with some effort—not to bring her claws. Sasha, once more forced to wear the vestments of the High Priestess of Darkrai against her will, fidgeted, not at all comfortable with having so many people staring at them. Tiny hadn't been made to dress up much, since his usual top hat and monocle were judged to be fit enough for this occasion. (He'd asked if he could get a mustache, and was disappointed when he was turned down.) Briney looked exactly the same, having stubbornly refused to change his appearance in the slightest to satisfy those 'soft-skinned panty-waisted high-society layabouts' and declared that if he was too much mon for them to handle, that wasn't his problem.

The Fantasmas, wearing their own formal—and very beautiful-dresses, were hovering on their side of the platform, with the rest of the heroes from the Enchanted Express evenly distributed between the two houses wearing their finest, most of which had been generously provided by Fantina and was probably worth more than most of them had ever made in their lives. (Except for the Goldorringtons. They weren't too proud to turn down free clothes, though, although Goldor was somewhat chagrined that the fancy duds Fantina gave his family were a lot nicer than anything he owned. Silvia was far less upset, and Buck didn't really care very much.) Even Bruno was wearing a suit, much to his displeasure, since he preferred to go au naturel and was worried that his clothes would be torn apart if he so much as breathed wrong. Outlaw hadn't taken much coaxing to pretty herself up, much to everyone's surprise, and had gotten herself polished, buffed, and cleaned up so her exostructure shone, and painted ceremonial Cybertronian runes all over her body. She'd also grafted one of the arms from the Robo-Groudon (which she'd apparently picked up while racing through the battleship graveyard yesterday when nobody was looking) onto the stump that had been 'torn off in grievous battle' and fashioned herself a new optic out of one of the crystals that seemed to be floating all over the place, although she complained about all the weird colors and things she wasn't entirely sure were actually there she had started seeing ever since installing it. Rono the unlucky Aron, much to his chagrin, had been forced to do most of the body work by himself as his first task for his new mistress, and afterwards had had a number of Cybertronian runes carved into his shell with a laser that basically said he was Outlaw's property forever. Most people couldn't read Cybertronian though, so they just thought the runes looked rather pretty, although the rather tight leash around his neck dangling from one of Outlaw's claws didn't look quite as nice. (Except for those who were into that sort of thing.)

Team Getem probably made the biggest impression next to Outlaw—or Lily, considering that she had managed to restore the Yukihimi house after centuries of dormancy and also happened to be the daughter of Bellum—since all of them had chosen to wore their armor, including Cruise and Lu, who were delighted to finally have Plates of their own. Cruise, whose body was normally an armored shell anyway, now looked even more durable due to being covered completely in several layers of ultra-thick segmented brown armor with more spikes than a Cloyster jutting out from his sides and grilles over his eye holes to protect his optics from any attack that might somehow be able to penetrate his very powerful defenses. Lu, on the other hand, wore much lighter, more streamlined blue-white armor that adhered to the curves of her body and almost looked like a second layer of skin. Ice crystals grew from her joints, with several more growing from her back and the end of her tail. A cloak made of some sort of fabric of interwoven ice crystals, much like Lily's, was draped over her left side. A hood of the same material was slung over her head, with holes at the back for her ears, which were covered in the same lightweight skintight armor as the rest of her. Sleek and lithe, she looked every bit the assassin, especially with the stylish hood and cloak.

Brodie was present as well, sitting in a floating escape-proof bubble of magic while hungrily devouring a submarine sandwich longer than he was tall. When he finished it, a new one appeared in his cage, and he eagerly started on that one as well. The Ditto had managed to strike a deal with the Fichina government promising to testify against the Nihilators and Bellum in exchange for enough food to make up for the two days he'd gone without eating anything as well as protection from the no-doubt furious retribution the ice witch and his former masters would bring down on him for betraying their secrets. (Not that he really knew a lot, considering he hadn't been with them for very long, but he was sure he knew _something_ that might come in handy, especially related to Bellum, since he'd spent more time with her than the other Nihilators and while Lily was undoubtedly the expert on the subject of the evil sorceress, Brodie'd been with her more recently so might be able to tell the council something about her that the youngest Yukihimi might not know.) The heroes weren't entirely happy that Brodie was getting off so easily after trying to poison them and nearly destroying the town of Twilight's Edge, but the Ditto had claimed he was turning over a new leaf and was totally over being a bad guy because working with Bellum, who was _really_ evil and nasty, had 'scared him straight.' (As had the fact that he was so hungry and desperate when he'd gotten carted off the train yesterday he'd been willing to do or say anything, absolutely _anything_, if it would get him something to eat.)

And then of course there were Dean and Bob, who could arguably be called the real stars of the show, since it was because of them that this whole thing was going on to begin with. Both the vampires had been cleaned up and given elegant and stylish suits to wear, complete with capes and cravats, even though neither of them felt entirely comfortable wearing such finery given that they were low-class vampires, rather than members of the aristocracy. "Zat may be true," Fantina had told them when they pointed this out earlier. "But you're going to 'ave ze eyes of ze world on you when you go out zere, and its important zat you make an impression. 'Ow are you going to convince anyone zat you are strong, capable vampires worz listening to if you don't look ze part?"

"Esepcially since neizer of you are nearly as 'andsome as ze vampires in ze books I read," Nefertari had said somewhat distastefully.

Fantina had frowned at that. "I zought I burned zose books for being a corrupting influence. Literally, since zey were cursed and were brainwashing you into acting like a Gozh."

"I bought new, not-cursed ones," the Yamask had explained.

"Oh," Fantina had said, looking somewhat disgruntled.

"Given 'ow much she's gushing about 'ow _beautiful_ Eddie and Belle's romance zat reads more like a creepy abusive relationship is, I'd say ze new ones are cursed too…" Phoebe had muttered.

"Z-zat's because you 'ave no idea what _true_ love is like!" Nefertari had stammered, flushing.

The Banette had raised an eyebrow. "I've 'ad dozens of meaningful long-term relationships, most of which are still ongoing. 'ow many 'ave _you_ 'ad, littlest sister?"

When Nefertari had run off in tears, Fantina sternly reprimanded Phoebe for making her sister cry, then quietly told Butler to find all of the Yamask's copies of _Midnight _and any similar books and destroy them 'for her own good.' Bob, who had never read the books and only knew vaguely of them from the genetic memories from Vladimir drifting in his blood, hadn't quite understood what all the fuss was about, but Dean assured him that as a loving mother Fantina was being perfectly reasonable in her methods for protecting her daughter.

But you probably don't care that much about what everyone was wearing or why they were wearing it, so why don't we get this show on the road, shall we?

"I, Queen Ninianne the Everlasting, hereby call the 97,547th session of the Grand Council of Fichina to order," the Queen spoke up, grabbing everyone's attention. She didn't raise her voice or use any sound amplification spells to make sure she was heard, rather, she spoke softly, as if to someone who was standing right in front of her. In spite of this, everyone in the chamber, even the poor sods practically brushing against the wall that could barely see her, could hear her just as easily as if she were standing right in front of them. "I have called all of you here today to discuss a matter of grave importance, one that affects not just our realm, but all others on this world," the Queen continued, her face oddly calm despite the ominous portents she was dropping. "Two days ago, the ice witch Bellum Yukihimi, one of our nation's greatest enemies and shames, destroyed the town of Dusty Ditch and nearly caused an incursion of our world from the realm of Niflheim. She was stopped by her old nemesis and my good friend Fantina Fantasma, and her new friends and fellow passengers on the Enchanted Express." Fantina smiled and bowed as Ninianne referred to her, and everyone else on the platform quickly followed her example. "Just yesterday, a massive fleet of battleships accompanied by a giant mechanical spider and several corrupted legendary Pokémon tried to destroy the Enchanted Express and its passengers only a short distance from our borders. The earth-shaking struggle that took place there could be felt all the way here in New Avalon, and the remains littering the shattered field of battle demonstrate the ineffectiveness of such an assault against one of our nation's greatest heroes and her equally able—if not potentially _superior_—companions." Again, the heroes bowed, although Lily was flushing at once again being called a possibly greater sorceress than her mentor.

"These two incidents are not unrelated occurrences," the Queen said gravely. "And more than simply a feat of petty and overwrought revenge against the Duchess Fantina, or any of her companions. Both of these attacks were perpetrated by a powerful terrorist organization to which I have recently been made aware…an organization that our friends in the Draconian Empire have been telling me for months existed, which, to my great shame, I refused to believe. For that I am truly sorry." She closed her eyes and bowed her head slightly, a look of regret on her face as several of the lesser-informed entities in the room who had little idea of what she was talking about exchanged confused looks and murmured worriedly. Few of them could ever remember hearing the Queen actually apologizing or _making a mistake_ in living memory. Usually her intuition, or that of her advisors, was borderline infallible. For her to admit making an error in judgment was…very unsettling, and more than a few of them found themselves wondering if they would still be retaining their role in the government when this was over. "This organization desires nothing less than the destruction of all that is good and decent in this world, and I am not demonizing them or trying to play on your fears; that is, in fact, their stated intent and purpose: to cause as much havoc and mayhem as is Pokémonly possible, for no other reason than to do evil." Her eyes flew open, a focused look in their depths. "They are called the _Nihilators._ Some of you may have heard of them already. Others of you are hearing that name for the first time today. Whatever the case, before this day is through, everyone in this room, everyone in Fichina, everyone in the _world_ will know that name well. This I promise you.

"But don't just take my word for it," the Queen said, looking at the platform closest to her, where all the heroes were standing. "Those whom have the most experience dealing with this threat are the ones that are best suited to explain it to us. Dean and Bob of the Gardevoir clan of vampires, step forward."

As more murmuring filled the room—mainly along the lines of puzzlement that Dean and Bob could possibly be vampires, since they weren't particularly handsome or sparkly—Fantina gave the two vampires an encouraging smile. "All right, boys. You're up."

Dean took a deep breath and nodded, trying to hide his anxiety. "Y-yeah. Looks that way. Ready, Bob?"

"As I will ever be," the Manectric said, fidgeting in his suit, which he did not find particularly comfortable. Much like Bruno, he preferred to go around nude as well.

Dean smiled, reassured by his friend's presence. "Let's do this, then. For the Count."

Bob grinned, drawing strength from his partner and from Dominick's blood flowing within him. "For the Count, and for the Mistress."

They nodded at each other one last time, stood up straight, and walked towards the edge of the platform, the others parting to let them through. "Break a leg, you guys!" Leo called to them.

"Leo! That's a terrible thing to say!" said the horrified Lily.

"Yes, why would you want one of them to break a leg?" asked a puzzled Sasha.

"Huh? Oh, I don't actually want them to break a leg. It's a show biz term. It means 'good luck,'" Leo said.

"…That doesn't make any sense. There's nothing lucky about breaking a leg!" Tiny said.

"You don't even have any legs," Briney pointed out.

"No, but I used to, and I will again," Tiny said.

"If it means 'good luck,' why didn't you just say 'good luck?' That would have made much more sense," Sasha said.

Leo threw his hands up in exasperation. "Fine! Good luck! There, you happy?"

"Yes," Tiny, Lily, and Sasha said.

"Good," Leo grunted.

Pikachu shook his head in bemusement. "Now you know how I feel."

"Huh? I don't get it," Leo said in confusion.

Pikachu sweatdropped. "Never mind."

"Look at them go, Ash…" Misty whispered in Ash's ear as the vampires approached the edge of the platform. "I wonder how long it'll be until they call you up to testify, too. Think you can manage without going insane and killing everyone? Or _lying?_"

"I wasn't lying," he growled under his breath, even though he knew responding to her taunts would only encourage her.

"Yes you were, and you know it, even if you don't _know_ you know it," Misty hissed. "But it's no big deal; you'll realize that sooner or later. And then your entire world will come crashing down on you, just like it did for me. But until then, I'm sure your friends will keep you honest and make sure you don't lie when you're supposed to give your testimony. And stab you in the back if it looks like you're going to go Void. You might want to avoid talking about Oblivion's Shadow, in that case. You know how _angry_ he makes you. Wouldn't want to give your friends a false alarm and start a panic, now would you? Hmm, actually, that doesn't sound like too bad an idea…"

Ash's teeth clenched. "Ash, don't listen to her," Pikachu said quietly.

Ash blinked. "Huh? What do you-"

"Your arm is trembling and your face looks like you're about to have an aneurysm," Pikachu said.

"Not very photogenic," Leo commented, pointing at one of the hovering cameras. "Don't want to give the viewing public the idea that you're crazy or a ticking time bomb or…um…any of the other things we agreed not to talk about…" he finished awkwardly as the others glared at him. "Sorry…"

"It's…okay," Ash exhaled, although they all knew it wasn't. "I'll try to keep it under control. Sorry."

"Have you noticed how they've been looking at you differently ever since they saw what sort of a monster you really are?" Misty said amiably as the others relaxed and turned their focus back to Dean and Bob. "How they're reluctant to take their eyes off you, how there's always a hint of fear in their Auras and the whites of their eyes? They're _afraid_ of you, Ash."

"They're not afraid of me," he muttered under his breath, although he wasn't sure he believed it.

"We both know that they are, and if they aren't, they really should be. Then again, they were stupid enough to become friends with you, so it makes sense they'd be dumb enough to pretend that you were the same old Ash they always thought they knew rather than a horrible monster that's going to kill them all one day."

"That's not going to happen," Ash insisted.

"It certainly won't, especially if they kill you first. You can see it in their hearts. They're certainly considering it. They'd have to be complete idiots to not be…oh, wait, I forgot who I'm talking about here. Yeah, never mind, they're probably not plotting behind your back. After all, they love you _much_ too much for that. Don't they?" Misty asked.

"Stop trying to make me suspect my friends. It won't work," Ash said.

"Heheheh. We'll see about that…" Misty promised sinisterly.

As the two vampires reached the edge of the platform, one of the rays from the Queen's platform broke off and floated into the air, reshaping itself into a golden disk that drifted across the void and hovered right in front of Bob and Dean. The duo glanced at it briefly, before taking a leap of faith (or rather, a step) and walking onto the disk, which promptly moved away from the Fantasma/Yukihimi platform and positioned itself directly in front of the Queen's throne. "Bob and Dean are but the first of a panel of expert witnesses that have been assembled to make this Council—and the rest of the world—aware of the true gravity of the threat the Nihilators pose to us," the Queen said, addressing everyone in the room, as well as everyone else watching around the world. "A truth spell was cast upon them and the other witnesses prior to this session, so that none may question the veracity of their words. If any of you who doubt this claim wish to make certain there will be no falsehood or deceit in this hearing, feel free to check them and the other witnesses to make sure that truth spells have indeed been cast upon them." She paused for a moment to allow the council members to do just that. None of them did. None of them were foolish enough to accuse the Queen of lying. It would be political suicide for anyone stupid enough to try. After a satisfactory length of time had passed, the Queen nodded, taking this to mean all skepticism had been cast aside for the time being. "Very well. We shall begin." She turned her attention to the vampires. A chill ran down their spines as they met the Gothitelle's eyes. She reminded them quite a lot of their Mistress…but even stronger, and a lot more…otherworldly. It was eerie, and at the same time, oddly exciting. If they weren't already eternally forsworn to Gardevoir, it would be easy enough for them to swear fealty to anyone with eyes like that. "Dean. Bob. Tell the Grand Council how it is that you have obtained knowledge of the Nihilators and their atrocities," she said.

"Well, it's pretty simple, Your Magisty," Dean said, trying not to look or sound too nervous. "Prior to our transformation into vampires, we were held captive by them for…how long was it, Bob?"

"I'm not certain myself," the Manectric confessed. "Time starts to lose all meaning after you've been imprisoned and tortured long enough."

"Well, whatever the case, we were there awhile," Dean said, trying not to think about how long he and Bob had, in fact, been captives of the Nihilators. He wasn't even sure he could remember what his life before the fortress had been like. Had he been born there? Was he just another one of Doctor Tarantulas' experiments? There were times he had faint memories or dreams that spoke of a world beyond the cold metal walls and blood and pain of his prison, but even now that he was free he wasn't sure if they had ever been real, something his mind had invented to try to comfort himself, or false memories Tarantulas had implanted in his brain for the heck of it. The Doctor was twisted like that.

"But you are not any longer," the Queen observed, stating the obvious. "How did you come to stand before us today?" She knew the answer to that question, of course, as did pretty much everyone in the room. But the Queen wasn't really asking for their sakes, she was asking so that everyone around the world watching this council session on their televisions or crystal balls or computers who had ignored or discredited recent events as crazy conspiracy talk would know exactly what was going on…and regret paying so little heed to it before now.

"As prisoners of the Nihilators, we were frequently submitted to sadistic experiments by one of their head officers, Doctor Tarantulas," Bob reported. "One of those experiments led to our transformation into vampires through infusion of our Mistress's—Gardevoir, the first vampire's—blood. Bellum Yukihimi, who's also one of the Nihilator head officers, decided to take the two of us along with a third vampire who…was unable to make it here…to the recent Convocum Mysticus Fantastica in an attempt to show up her rival, the Duchess Fantina Fantasma."

"However, the Duchess was able to prove Bellum was breaking the rules by entering us in the competition, and was able to take us into her protective custody so that we could come here and testify against Bellum and her Nihilator colleagues," Dean added, shooting a grateful look at Fantina, who smiled appreciatively.

"It wasn't easy, however, because we possess a great deal of sensitive information that could significantly damage Nihilator operations worldwide, hence why they've been trying so hard for the last few days to kill us, leading to the massive battles at Dusty Ditch and Shimmer Desert," Bob said.

"And how, precisely, did you obtain this sensitive information if you were being held captive and used as test subjects?" the Queen asked.

Dean and Bob glanced at each other briefly. When the heroes had all had dinner together at the palace last night and told the Queen the intel they were carrying to prepare for this meeting, she'd warned them that she would have to ask them this question to prove that they weren't making it all up, despite the fact that they would all be under a truth spell and _couldn't_ make it up. However, since explaining their sources would put their friends hiding out at the Nihilator headquarters in severe jeopardy, this would be a problematic question to answer. Fortunately, they'd worked out a somewhat acceptable response that would deflect retribution from their allies and make their story plausible.

"Vampire powers," Dean said vaguely.

The Queen raised an eyebrow. "Vampire powers?"

"Yes. We were able to see and hear more than our captors gave us credit for," Bob said. This was true, in a way, so technically he wasn't lying.

The Queen nodded, accepting this answer. Not everyone else in the room looked as if they were quite as willing to let it go like that, but since the Queen was fine with that, and it would probably be political suicide to argue the point, nobody spoke up. "Very well. That will suffice. So…" She narrowed her eyes. "Just what vital information do you possess, exactly?"

Dean grinned, glad that they were finally getting to the main event. "Your Magisty, I hope that throne of yours is comfortable, because this is going to take a while…"

And take a while it did, as the two vampires eagerly began to disclose absolutely everything they knew about the Nihilators' operations, which took them until past noon to reveal in its entirety…and considering that this was just the opening act, since the others all had quite a lot to say about what the Nihilators had been up to in recent times as well, along with giving personal accounts of their involvement in the fighting over the last two days and what the Nihilators intended for the distant town of Pokémon Square, it soon dawned upon everyone watching that not only was the Nihilator situation, far, _far_ worse than they had ever imagined, but that this was probably going to take all day. More than a few of the officials present found themselves wishing that they had brought something more comfortable to wear or a nicer chair to sit on. At least lunch and bathroom breaks were permitted, otherwise it would have been absolutely interminable. The testimonies kept going one after another, from hero to hero to reformed villain to other hero, and it wasn't until long after the Sun had gone down that the last speaker finished giving their report and the Queen finally called the session to an end, thanking the heroes for their time and declaring that the council would be reconvened the next morning along with any ambassadors and foreign dignitaries who wished to participate to begin deliberations on what to do with the Nihilator threat.

No sooner had she uttered this decree when communiques flew in from all over the world as virtually every nation on Earth formally asked to take part in this momentous and world-shaking discussion, as well as promising their full support to both Fichina and the Draconian Empire in defending Pokémon Square and rooting out the Nihilator menace once and for all. Not a single one of them apologized to the Empire for doubting them or admitted that they were wrong to think the Nihilators were just a Clefairy tale or crazy imperialist plot. They didn't need to. The incredibly smug replies each of them got from Nuken Shinobu that basically amounted to saying "I told you so," in the most diplomatic way possible was rubbing it enough in their faces as it was.

The 97,547th session of the Grand Council of Fichina was not the longest session in the nation's history (that would be the 63,278th, thanks to Mayor Enta's record-breaking ten-year filibuster to try and oppose the ascension of the Fantasmas to the ducal seat, which not even his own _death_ had managed to interrupt since he just got back up as a Ghost and continued talking until the Queen finally had enough and banished him, leading to a new time limit on filibusters being set), but it would long be remembered as one of the most important, for on this day, the world was changed forever.

And not everyone was happy with that…

…

Meanwhile, in the Nihilator headquarters on _Mars_ (Yes, no reason to keep that a secret anymore, unless you didn't read the last chapter, but if that's the case, what are you even doing here?)…

Oblivion's Shadow was not happy.

He hadn't moved from his chair or spoken a single word from start to finish of the broadcast from Fichina, but he hadn't needed to do any of those things to let his subordinates know that he was angry. The fact that the viewing screen was so covered in cracks it looked like one of Tarantulas' webs until the point that it finally shattered to pieces the instant the broadcast had stopped, how there was a very large and very deep crater smashed into the ground surrounding him, the myriad cracks in the walls and ceiling, and the fact that everyone in the room aside from Bellum, Marianne, Tarantulas, Chobin, and Viers had been killed so thoroughly that they hadn't left even a molecular trace behind was testament to the depths of his fury.

The pitch-black wreath of Shadow Aura swirling around him that had bored a hole through the ceiling from the intensity of his rage that went up so far that it pierced the outer wall of the fortress (fortunately, the atmosphere on Mars had been made breathable long ago, so nobody needed to worry about dying from asphyxiation, although it was getting an awful lot colder due to the below-freezing temperatures outside) was a good hint to his current mood as well. For several minutes after the broadcast ended and the screen had fallen apart, nobody in the room dared to move or speak or even _breathe _for fear of setting the volatile leader of the Nihilators off. In his current state, if he lost his temper, there was a good chance that the entire fortress would be wiped off the face of the planet.

There was one Pokémon, however, who wasn't the least bit phased by the Shadow's mood. "Whoo-ee! Now that was one heck of an expose!" Darkrai, who had been sitting in the back of the room eating popcorn for the duration of the session in Fichina, occasionally snarking and taunting the Shadow, commented fearlessly, clapping his claws together. Nobody seemed to notice or respond to this, but that was because Oblivion's Shadow was the only one who could actually see or hear Darkrai at the moment, and there wasn't a lot he could do about it, because he wasn't actually there. "Heck, even _I_ didn't know some of the stuff they talked about! Did any of it surprise you, too? I mean, I think _I'd_ be surprised to know just how many of my employees were screwing each other or were secretly fans of a rather embarrassing TV show or were writing rather…lurid fanfics involving them and me behind my back if I were in your place. I know Cressy certainly would be, but you aren't married, so that's probably not a problem for you. Heh, you really need to get laid, you know that? Sometimes I wonder if maybe having sex would have loosened you up a while ago and kept yourself from doing all this. Would've saved everyone a lot of trouble, I know that much!"

Oblivion's Shadow gave no sign of hearing Darkrai's lewd insults save for his Shadow Aura getting even more intense. The edges of his cape started disintegrating, bits of his armor began to melt, and hairline fractures formed on his mask. Slowly, with an eerie creak, his head twisted to focus on Bellum. The Froslass recoiled in alarm when she saw the distorted reflection in the mirror-mask, feeling a terror that she had thought herself having long since conquered, considering how many horrible things and dark creatures she had consorted with. She had been wrong. **"BELLUM,**" the Shadow boomed, his voice shaking the room and hurting their brains and not sounding even remotely like the ice witch.

"L-Lord Shadow?" she queried tremulously, astonished at just how frightened she was. Not even her mistress Giratina's anger scared her this much! But that might have been because Giratina was imprisoned in a distant dimension…whereas Oblivion's Shadow was right _there_ and both capable and willing to do things to her that even the Ruler of Evil might be surprised by.

"**ALL THIS. YOUR FAULT,"** the Shadow said ominously.

Bellum went white(er). "B-but my Lord! I-it was you who _approved-_"

"**HURT."**

And then Bellum was on the ground, in more pain than words can possibly describe. Marianne regurgitated sparks, Viers turned pale and covered his eyes, Tarantulas-who was still a severed head, currently strapped to the top of Chobin's head since the Shadow had forbidden him to get a new body just yet as punishment for his failure-started hyperventilating (Somehow. Despite not having any lungs.) and his pupil shrank, and Chobin…drooled, eyes dilating as his tongue drooped out of the corner of his mouth and he got a very visible erection. "Ooh. Nice one," Darkrai said, discarding his popcorn and taking out a pen and notepad. "Gotta remember that. You Nihilators always give me such delightful fuel for nightmares," he commented as he started scribbling notes down.

His Shadow Aura only gradually diminishing, the Shadow slowly turned his head towards the trio of Viers, Chobin, and Tarantulas. The organic two promptly lost control of their bowels (though Chobin seemed to be enjoying it), and Tarantulas squealed and desperately tried to free himself from the brace holding him in place on top of Chobin's head. **"TARANTULAS."**

The severed Ariados head swallowed. Somehow. "Y-y-y-yes, L-Lord Sh-sh-shadow?"

"**THEY KNEW THE LOCATIONS AND LAYOUTS OF JUST ABOUT EVERY MAJOR HIDEOUT AND BASE WE HAVE ON EARTH, A NEARLY COMPLETE ROSTER OF ALL OUR AGENTS BOTH ACTIVE AND COVERT, WHICH POLITICIANS AND CORPORATIONS ARE IN OUR POCKET, WHAT KIND OF FORCES WE CAN BRING TO BEAR, A FAIR BIT OF KNOWLEDGE ABOUT OUR SHADOW POKÉMON PROGRAM AND HOW IT WORKS, A LIST OF THE COUNTLESS ATROCITIES WE'VE COMMITTED, THE NAMES OF ALMOST EVERY PRISONER OR HOSTAGE WE'RE HOLDING CAPTIVE IN OUR CENTRAL STRONGHOLD—WHOSE LOCATION THEY WERE MORE THAN WILLING TO SHARE—MORE WORKPLACE GOSSIP THAN I EVER WANTED TO KNOW, HOW MANY TIMES CHOBIN HAS DIED AND BEEN CLONED BACK TO LIFE, AND ALMOST ANYTHING ELSE ANYONE COULD POSSIBLY WANT TO KNOW ABOUT OUR ORGANIZATION, UP TO AND INCLUDING WHAT THE MAJORITY OF US EAT FOR BREAKFAST. THEY KNEW ALMOST EVERYTHING EXCEPT MY IDENTITY, WHAT I DO IN MY PERSONAL QUARTERS, AND WHAT THE FULL EXTENT OF OUR MASTER PLAN IS,"** the Shadow said.

"Um. Yes. So I noticed," Tarantulas said.

"_**HOW**_** CAN THEY POSSIBLY KNOW ALL THIS?" **the Shadow demanded.

"Vampire powers?" Viers suggested helpfully. He promptly ceased to exist, as did a good chunk of the wall behind him, and the wall beyond that, and the wall beyond that.

"Well, _somebody's_ got anger management issues," Darkrai commented in amusement.

Tarantulas sighed. "It's a good zing I zought ahead and decided to start cloning him too…"

On cue, an Emboar looking exactly like the one that had just been erased from existence tromped back into the room and saluted. "Viers v 7.0 reporting for duty!"

"…**YOU'VE GONE THROUGH THAT MANY ALREADY?"**the Shadow asked, his anger diminishing slightly.

"I have a very dangerous laboratory. Even more dangerous viz Chobin as ze closest zing I have to a body since you've denied me a new one as punishment for my failure," Tarantulas said wearily.

"Hoho, at this rate he'll be a match for the other guy in no time!" Darkrai chortled.

"Hmm. I see," the Shadow said, more of his anger ebbing, though Shadow still roiled around him furiously and Bellum continued to convulse and scream and gurgle and choke on the floor. "In any event, 'vampire powers' is not a feasible answer. I seem to recall you and Bellum very zoroughly documenting zeir abilities, and even if you missed somezing—vich I vill admit is a distinct possibility—zere is no vay it could account for zeir knowing _zat_ much about our operations."

Tarantulas frowned as he considered this. "…Zat's true. But in zat case…how _could_ zey have known zat?"

"Teh Intarwebs?" Chobin suggested.

"Chobin, we didn't give zem Internet access," Tarantulas said.

"Maybe they are being able to mentally surf teh Intarwebs with their MINDS!" Chobin suggested. "Which means they are being able to see porn whenever they want! Oh! Chobin am wanting to mentally surf teh Intarwebs with Chobin's MIND so Chobin can being able to see porn whenever Chobin wants!"

"You can already see porn whenever you want by raping something," Viers said.

"Yes, but not by mentally surfing teh Intarwebs with Chobin's MIND so Chobin can being able to see porn whenever Chobin wants!" Chobin said.

Tarantulas opened his mouth to argue, and then actually thought about that. "…Huh. Zat's…a possibility. Maybe zey could somehow hack into our computers telepazically? But…no, ve vould have noticed zat, vouldn't ve?"

"Zere _has_ been some…unusual discrepancies in our computer records as of late…" the Shadow said thoughtfully. "But I do not zink it vas ze vampires. Or at least, not alone."

Tarantulas blinked. "Vhat are you talking about?"

"Tell me, Tarantulas, vhen I gave an order last night for all of our Earthbound forces to launch suicide strikes on ze capitals of ze countries zey're hiding in to preempt ze monhunts zat vere no doubt set into motion ze instant zose loazsome vampires started listing names and places, vhy vas zat order not obeyed?" the Shadow asked.

"Um…because ze long-range transmitter ve use to communicate viz our agents on Earzh vas severely damaged due to one of ze idiot maintenance crew accidentally knocking ze damn zing off ze roof and it took forever to find ze parts ve needed to build a new one for some reason?" Tarantulas said.

"Correct," the Shadow said with a nod.

Viers blinked. "Wait…if the long-range transmitter we use to communicate with our agents on Earth was severely damaged due to one of the idiot maintenance crew accidentally knocking the damn thing off the roof and it took forever to find the parts we needed to build a new one for some reason, how were we able to watch the show we just watched if the long-range transmitter we use to communicate with our agents on Earth was severely damaged due to one of the idiot maintenance crew accidentally knocking the damn thing off the roof and it took forever to find the parts we needed to build a new one for some reason, meaning we shouldn't have been able to watch the show we just watched?"

"Ze _transmitter_ was wrecked, but ze _receiver_ is still vorking fine," Tarantulas explained.

"Ohhhhhh," Viers said.

"Which is a good thing too, because if Chobin could not watch television, Chobin would get very angry because Chobin could not watch television, and cause massive amounts of mayhem and property damage and ooey gooey destruction!" Chobin declared.

"You already cause massive amounts of mayhem and property damage and ooey gooey destruction," Tarantulas said.

"More than usual," Chobin elaborated.

"Ah," Tarantulas said.

"Now, ven ze transmitter broke, vhy didn't ze battle fleet ve sent to lay vaste to Fichina from orbit make it in time to stop zat session?" the Shadow asked.

"Because a glitch in our orbital jump-gate launched ze fleet halfway across ze solar system in ze wrong direction and it'll take zem several monzhs to get back here under zeir own power?" Tarantulas said.

The Shadow nodded. "And vhen our fleet failed to make it to zeir target destination, vhy didn't any of ze asteroids ve launched at ze planet make it zere instead?"

"Because a malfunction in ze engines ve strapped to zem caused zem to crash into each ozzer and explode?" Tarantulas said.

"KABOOM!" Chobin shouted, spreading his leaves dramatically. He scowled when he saw he hadn't exploded. "Lord Shadow, will you make Chobin explode?"

"Maybe later," the Shadow said vaguely. "Now, Tarantulas, does anyzing about zis razzer sudden rash of equipment failure strike you as odd in any vay?"

Tarantulas' eye widened in realization. "It's all razzer…_convenient,_ isn't it? But…but zat must mean…"

"That your tech guys suck and you need better gear?" Darkrai suggested.

"Our escaped prisoners have allies here, vhere our power is greatest," the Shadow said. "Allies who vere not only able to somehow feed zem all zat information before zey vere taken to Earzh—in fact, zey must have somehow _counted_ on someone like Fantina rescuing zem, or giving zem an opportunity to escape!—but have been sabotaging our efforts to get zings back under control."

"Eh, there's that option too," Darkrai conceded.

"And zis isn't ze first time zere's been some razzer convenient equipment failure at an inopportune time," Tarantulas said, looking shocked. "Like how ze bombs I implanted in zat Plusle and Minun back at ze Tree of Beginning were duds…or how ze Caretakers we captured vere rescued alive, razzer zan having zeir heads explode!"

"Zere have been many times in ze past vhere a seemingly coincidental error or accident have hindered our operations, such as how a surprisingly large number of souls from our captives vhich _should_ have been captured by our soul-trapping technology upon zeir deazhs instead seem to…disappear," the Shadow said. "At ze time, ve zought zey vere just zat, accidents. Now… I'm no longer so sure."

"But…but how? How could ve possibly have saboteurs and traitors in our midst? Ve've taken every precaution to _prevent_ zat sort of zing!" Tarantulas protested. "Spy cameras everyvhere! Mind-control chips! Frequent brain scans! All sorts of monitoring systems covering every inch of zis fortress! How could ve be _missing_ somezing like zat?"

"I don't know, but I intend to find out," the Shadow said. "And I zink I know a good place to start…"

"Where?" Viers asked.

"That is none of your concern," the Shadow said.

"Okay," Viers said.

The Shadow rose from his seat, which promptly disintegrated. "I am going to make some…inquiries. Tarantulas, I vant you to find out who is vorking against us, and how, and put a stop to it. I don't care vhat it takes or vhat you have to do, just so long as you _get it done._ Am I clear?"

Tarantulas tried to nod, except he couldn't, since he was strapped to Chobin's head. "Chobin, nod!" he hissed to his assistant.

"Okey-dokey!" Chobin said, nodding his head.

"It vill be as you command, Herr Shadow!" Tarantulas said as he bobbed up and down. "Okay Chobin, you can stop now, I'm starting to get motion sickness." Chobin did not stop. "Chobin, I said stop!"

"Oh, fine," Chobin said with a pout.

"Heheheh. You know, if you guys decided to quit being evil, you'd do great as a comedy team," Darkrai chuckled in amusement.

"I expect results, and soon, unless you vant to end up like her," the Shadow said, gesturing at the screaming Bellum on the floor.

"I suppose ze fact zat I'm just a disembodied head now and all my pain receptors are fried because you haven't let me repair myself von't prove an obstacle to zat?" Tarantulas asked weakly.

"Not in ze slightest," the Shadow said, causing Tarantulas to whimper.

"Ooh! Ooh! Can you be doing Chobin at the same time too?" Chobin asked hopefully.

"…We'll see," the Shadow said.

"Then why are you not to be doing the excruciating agony of horrific torture and torment and screaming and pain that makes Chobin orgasm repeatedly and cum and cum and cum even as Chobin's blood vessels burst and bodily fluids gush from every orifice and Chobin's body contorts in all sorts of painful and unpleasant positions and make Chobin hurt and hurt and hurt and scream and hurt until Chobin chokes on Chobin's own blood and dies now?" Chobin asked. "Because it is Chobin's fault as much as the Doctor's for our latest failure!"

"Chobin! Vhat are you doing?" Tarantulas shrieked in horror.

"Jacking off!" Chobin declared.

"…Well. That was disturbing even for me," Darkrai commented.

"…Thank you very much for that mental imagery, Chobin," the Shadow said, reflected eye twitching.

"You are being most very welcome!" Chobin said cheerfully as Tarantulas shuddered in terror.

"However, while rending you limb from limb and causing your pain receptors to overstimulate until they explode and cripple your nervous system and pulling one of your lungs out through your nose is very tempting and would probably do wonders for stress relief right now, I don't really have time to bother with that sort of thing right now. There are too many important things I need to do to try and make up for the _significant_ setback we've just suffered and find a way for our plan to prevail even though pretty much every asset we have on Earth has just been compromised," the Shadow said. "Which means I'll need every usable resource remaining to me in good enough shape to function without much difficulty so that they can help us recover from this unmitigated disaster."

"Awwww," Chobin whined as Tarantulas sighed in relief.

"Oh well," Darkrai said in disappointment.

"Then why is Bellum being punished if you need every usable resource remaining to you in good enough shape to function without much difficulty so that they can help you recover from this unmitigated disaster? Would she not be of better use to you if she were not being punished, so that she would be in good enough shape to function without much difficulty so that she can help you recover from this unmitigated disaster?" Viers asked.

"Bellum's usefulness has very nearly come to an end," Oblivion's Shadow said coldly. "If it weren't for the fact that I still need her connection to Giratina, I would have killed her already for instigating this mess to begin with."

"Ah, and because ve're far more useful to you zan she is, you're letting us off ze hook?" Tarantulas asked eagerly, overjoyed to hear that his long-time rival had lost pretty much any favor that remained to her in the eyes of their leader.

"I didn't say zat," the Shadow said while Darkrai burst into laughter. "You and Chobin lost a sizable fleet and FOUR legendary Pokémon, and only managed to kill a _single_ one of ze target Pokémon."

"I-it vasn't our fault!...completely!" Tarantulas protested desperately.

"Yes it was!" Chobin said eagerly, hoping to get punished.

"Shut up, Chobin! If Chobin hadn't gone crazier zanks to zat stupid Squirtle, and if zose religious vackjobs hadn't shown up out of ze blue, ve might have-" Tarantulas started.

"Actually Doctor, from ze battle data I vould say your combat efficiency actually _increased_ once Chobin assumed his 'alter ego,'" the Shadow interrupted. "After all, he vas able to fend off a virus vich vould have completely crippled your Arachnoblast as vell as completed a veapon you've been struggling to get vorking for ages. If anyzing, I'd say he's of potentially greater use to me zan _you_."

"VAT!" Tarantulas screamed incredulously.

"Ha! Burn!" Darkrai Murkrowed.

"Hooray! Chobin is smarter than Doctor! Chobin is smarter than Doctor!" Chobin cheered, dancing and clapping his leaves.

"YOU ARE NOT!" Tarantulas bellowed.

"You're right, he's not," the Shadow said, much to Tarantulas' relief. "_Arackaiser_, on ze ozzer hand, is. And once ve've managed to get a handle on zis current mess, I have every intention of utilizing your assistant's alter ego to its fullest. After all, if he could complete a veapon as powerful and dangerous as ze 'Combininator'…who knows vhat else he's capable of?"

"A crotch-mounted blaster that is firing weaponized high-pressure semen as a high-pressure weapon at pressures so high it can cut through steel? And vaginas? And steel vaginas?" Chobin suggested.

There was a very long, awkward pause. "I could see a use for that," Viers said after some thought.

"No! Just…_no_," Tarantulas said, revolted.

"Ew," Darkrai said in disgust.

"I'll…take that into consideration," the Shadow said.

"Really?" Chobin asked hopefully.

"No," the Shadow said.

"Awwww," Chobin whined.

"Vait, you're going to replace me viz him?" Tarantulas cried in disbelief. "You…you can't do zat!"

"I am ze supreme leader of zis organization. I can do vhatever I want," the Shadow snarled, looming ominously over Tarantulas and Chobin. "Or are you challenging my auzority?"

The Doctor cringed back, while Chobin seemed completely oblivious. "N-no! Of course not, Herr Shadow! Anyzing you decide is just fine viz me!" Tarantulas stammered desperately.

"And Chobin! Especially if it means Chobin can become DOCTOR Chobin!" Chobin declared.

"I-it's just…um…you know, even if Arackaiser vas…somehow…ugh…_smarter_ zan me…" Tarantulas said very, very reluctantly. "H-he, he lost too, you know? So…so how do you know making him your go-to science guy vill be any better zan letting me keep ze job?"

"Because, like you said, he's smarter zan you," the Shadow pointed out, causing the Doctor to wince. "And you are correct, he _did_ lose…but as you pointed out before, zere vere several mitigating circumstances neizer of you could have planned for, so it's not entirely eizzer of your faults, alzough your conduct following ze appearance of Judgment—and _completely_ losing your focus on your _real_ targets—is unexcusable."

Tarantulas laughed nervously. "Oh, yeah…ve could have handled zat better, couldn't ve?"

"Yep!" Chobin agreed.

"Yes," Viers concurred.

"Bzzzzb," Marianne buzzed.

"Oh, totally," Darkrai added.

"But even taking zat into account, he _still_ came closer to defeating Team Aurabolt and zeir allies zan you did, even if he failed in ze end," the Shadow concluded.

"Hooray!" Chobin cheered.

"Well done, Lord Chobin," Viers said.

"Bzbzzzub," Marianne buzzed.

"Woohoo," Darkrai said.

"But…but…if Chobin, er, Arackaiser is taking my place, zen…zen vhat is to become of me?" Tarantulas cried desperately.

"Oh, don't vorry, Tarantulas…I still have a use for you…" the Shadow said sinisterly.

"Hooray!" Chobin cheered.

"Well done, Lord Doctor Tarantulas," Viers said.

"Zzzzzbbbz," Marianne buzzed.

"Way to go," Darkrai said, clapping sarcastically.

Tarantulas gulped. "Vhy am I not reassured?"

The Shadow turned away, cape swishing as his Shadow Aura continued burning, though it was at more of a low simmer now. "I have business to attend to. Begin damage control and start finding out how zis travesty came to pass. I expect results, and soon. Do _not_ fail me again." He stalked out of the room, the doors crumpling and blasting into the hallway before he reached them as indication that he was still very angry, although he was doing a better job of controlling it now. (That didn't make things much easier for the maintenance crew, though, since they'd have quite a lot of work to do in repairing all the areas of the base the Shadow's temper was destroying. And the burning footprints he left in the halls weren't easy to fill in either thanks to the lingering Shadow residue, let me tell you!)

With his departure, so too went the unmistakable oppressive air of dread and imminent doom that had been pressing down on all of them—though that might have been partly because Darkrai had left too—leaving the devastated chamber silent, save for Bellum's strangled gasps and screams, the desolate Martian winds blowing through the hole in the ceiling, or the shouts of Nihilators on upper levels as they tried to guess just how deep the hole the Shadow had made was and if they'd get in any trouble for dropping things into it. "So," Viers said finally. "What now?"

"Ve start trying to figure out who's been sabotaging us and feeding information to zose vampires, and how, I guess," Tarantulas said.

"Ah," Viers said. There was a pause. "How do we do that?"

Tarantulas sighed. "I have absolutely no idea."

"Okay," Viers said.

"Can Chobin rape Bellum?" Chobin asked.

"Vhat does zat have to do viz getting us back into Oblivion's Shadow's good graces?" Tarantulas asked.

"Nothing, Chobin just wants to rape something," Chobin said. Marianne perked up at this.

"I don't know…if we're going to make Oblivion's Shadow less angry at us, ve ought to start right avay," Tarantulas said doubtfully.

"But Chobin might never get another chance at this long-held dream! Chobin has never before seen Bellum so helpless and prostrate and practically _begging_ to be raped!" Chobin cried. "Can't you hear her cries, Doctor? She's saying, 'Rape me, Chobin! Rape me like a wild stallion in heat that is hot, and since all stallions are Rapidashes which are Fire-types, that is very hot indeed, so hot I will melt from the inside out! From _pleasure!_'"

Viers held a hand up to one ear and listened carefully. "It does not sound like she is saying any of that to me. It sounds like she is saying '!,' which does not sound anything like, 'Rape me, Chobin! Rape me like a wild stallion in heat that is hot, and since all stallions are Rapidashes which are Fire-types, that is very hot indeed, so hot I will melt from the inside out! From _pleasure!_'"

"That is because you are not knowing the language of screaming, like Chobin does! Chobin should know, because Chobin makes others scream all the time, and sometimes screams just for fun! Like this! !" Chobin shrieked.

Tarantulas winced. "Ack! Chobin, I'm right on top of you, don't yell like zat, it hurts my audio receptors!"

"Sorry, Doctor!" Chobin yelled, causing Tarantulas to wince again.

"Anyvay, ve don't have time for zat! Ve've got vork to do!" Tarantulas said, trying to clear the ringing from his artificial ears.

"But Doctor, when will we be ever having another chance to be doing something like this?" Chobin begged. "And besides…can you _really_ say that you were never ever ever never never ever never secretly longing to have her pinned under you, her face covered in sweat and her eyes rolled back in her head as you penetrated her again and again, your appendages wrapped around her neck as you choked the unlife out of her while simultaneously giving her a pleasure unlike any she has ever received, filling her with your eeeeevil seeds of eeeeeevil and proving once and for all that you are dominant over her?"

"No," Tarantulas said flatly. "For ze last time, Chobin, I'm not attracted to her!" He paused for a moment. "However, I _do_ enjoy seeing her humiliated and in pain…and zis _is_ an opportunity zat vill probably never come again…hmm…oh, all right, go ahead. But take me off first so you don't damage me or get any…juices on me somehow. I know how enzusiastic you can get vhen you're raping somezing."

"Hooray!" Chobin cheered, racing towards the completely helpless Bellum.

"Can I have a turn too? I have not raped anything in…" Viers paused, brow furrowed as he counted his fingers slowly. He stared at his hands in confusion for a moment, uncertain if he'd counted the same finger more than once or not, before finally giving up and saying, "A long time!"

"Sure, vhy not? Ze more, ze merrier!" Tarantulas said, his mood improving significantly at the prospect of seeing Bellum get horrifically violated.

"Thank you, Lord Doctor Tarantulas!" Viers said, plodding forwards after Chobin, who was hopping and prancing and somersaulting about gleefully, much to the Doctor's dismay, since it made it difficult for him to keep his bearings.

However, they found their way blocked by an irate Marianne, her electroplasmic form swelling up even larger than usual as she absorbed ambient energy from electronics in the surrounding rooms, causing a blackout in the vicinity as she consumed all the power, generating a barrier of lightning around her mother. "Bzzzzbzbzbzbzzzzzzzzbzzzz!" the Rotom buzzed furiously.

"…Chobin has no idea what you just said!" Chobin said cheerfully, trying to step around Marianne. A lightning bolt cracked down right in front of his foot. He stared at the blackened spot, shrugged, then tried to step forward again. Another lightning bolt struck. He stared at the blackened spot, shrugged, then tried to step forward again. Another lightning bolt struck. He stared at the blackened spot, shrugged, then tried to step forward again. Another lightning bolt struck. He stared at the blackened spot, shrugged, and then-

"Chobin, cut it out!" an exasperated Tarantulas snapped. "And Marianne, zat von't vork, Chobin lacks any form of pattern recognition. Vhy do you zink he keeps getting himself killed in ze same stupid ways?" Marianne growled in annoyance but reluctantly conceded the point.

"Why are you blocking our path like a giant neon sign that has fallen in our path and is blocking it?" Viers asked, not very intimidated by the lethal arcs of electricity dancing around the lightning witch.

"!" Marianne buzzed.

"I have no idea what you just said," Viers said.

"Neizzer do I, but at a guess I'd say she doesn't vant you to touch her mozzer," Tarantulas said.

"Why?" asked the confused Viers.

"Because you vant to rape her," Tarantulas said.

"So?" asked the confused Viers.

"Yes, Chobin is failing to see the point of this line of discussion, meaning it is an extremely dull point and needs to be sharpened significantly before it is capable of cleaving flesh and piercing innards like Chobin's penis pierces whatever Chobin wants to have sex with!" Chobin said.

Tarantulas rolled his eye. "Ugh, vhy do I even bozzer trying to explain zese zings? Let's try anozzer tack."

"Fighting?" Viers asked hopefully.

"No. Diplomacy," Tarantulas said.

"LAME!" Chobin shouted.

"I ate a diplomat once. He was not very tasty," Viers remarked.

"Zat's vonderful. Let me handle zis," Tarantulas said. "Ahem: Marianne, I know you retain some measure of loyalty and familial attachment for your mozzer even zough she doesn't love you in ze slightest and only views you as a tool to furzer her plans for revenge and power-" Marianne started growling angrily, prompting Tarantulas to quickly get to the point. "Anyvay, for vhatever reason you feel like you have to protect Bellum even zough if your positions vere reversed, she'd probably leave you to be ravished by my subordinates here. So, I'm going to make you an offer: if you let Chobin have his vay viz Bellum-"

"And me," Viers said.

"Vat, you vant to be raped by Chobin too?" Tarantulas asked in surprise.

"Really? Vell, Chobin don't usually molest friends, but Chobin supposes he could make an exception for you." Chobin gasped. "Oh! We can become fuckbuddies! Friends with benefits!"

"No," Viers said quickly. "I do not want Chobin to have his way with me. I want to have my way with Bellum as well."

"Oh, right, sorry," Tarantulas said. "Right, if you let Chobin _and_ Viers have zeir vays viz Bellum, you can have sex wiz Chobin. And Viers too, if he's interested."

Chobin blinked in surprise. "Wait, what?"

"Hmm. I will consider it," Viers said.

"Bzbzzzz?" Marianne cried incredulously, recoiling.

"Oh come on, ve _all_ know you've had a huge crush on Chobin forever but haven't done anyzing about it," Tarantulas said coyly.

"She does?" Viers asked in amazement.

"She does?" Chobin asked in amazement.

"Bzzzzzzbzbzzbzzzzz?" Marianne asked in astonishment, her cheeks turning red and emitting sparks.

"Yes, it vas obvious to everyone," Tarantulas said what an amused chuckled. He was lying, of course, he hadn't actually known for certain that Marianne had a crush on Chobin, but he knew that a lot of the Nihilators with too much free time on their hands wrote fanfics and gossiped about it, so he figured there was at least a fifty-fifty chance that she had some kind of feelings for his assistant, though why she did was somewhat beyond him. It wasn't as if Chobin had any redeeming qualities whatsoever, after all. "So I'll give you a chance to finally fulfill your fantasies, in return for letting us fulfill some of our own. Zat seems reasonable, doesn't it?"

"Bz…bzzzzz…bzbzbz…." Marianne buzzed uncertainly, fidgeting and sparking and turning redder.

"…Wait…she…has a crush on Chobin?" whispered the astonished deranged Sunflora, unable to believe his earholes. "Someone…someone actually is liking Chobin for who he is being…warts and lack of hygiene and weird speech patterns and MASSIVE libido and grotesque eating preferences and psychoses and MASSIVE libido and…and all?" Marianne flushed and turned away, glancing at him furtively while trying to stop smiling and control the flow of current causing her body to turn red rather than its usual orange. Chobin started turning red as well, and his glasses began fogging up, and he got a very large erection, and that's probably more information than you really needed to hear. "What…what is this strange sensation that Chobin is feeling? Is Chobin hungry? Yes, always, but it is not being that, or at least, not a hunger for food or Pokémon flesh…is Chobin horny? Yes, always, but it is not just coming from Chobin Junior, but…somewhere…else…is…is Chobin…in LOVE?"

Chobin stared at Marianne. Marianne stared back. The Sunflora's glasses cracked, the lines resembling a jagged heart. The Rotom generated a big heart-shaped mass of electricity over her head. Without warning, they started running towards each other as if in slow motion, sparks falling from the big electric heart and exposed cables dangling from the ceiling, meeting in an embrace and a passionate kiss that felt like a million gigawatts of electricity, literally, since that's about how much power Marianne was conducting through her lips and into Chobin's body, causing the Sunflora to twitch and spasm as X-ray images of his skeleton (assuming Sunfloras had skeletons) flashed under his skin. The giant electric heart exploded and rained sparks and smaller heart-shaped balls of lightning that drifted to the ground and popped in bursts of static as romantic music played in the background due to the high-voltage kiss blasting Tarantulas off of Chobin's head and crashing him into a wall, stunning him as well as triggering his built-in sound system, which started playing a mood-appropriate tune.

"La la la la laaa laaaaaaaa, la la la la la laaaa! La la laaaa la, laaa laaaa!" Viers sang along loudly and very off-key.

"O…kay…zat vas not vat I expected…" Tarantulas groaned in a daze. Slowly recovering his wits, his eyes focused on Chobin and Marianne, who were still making out, even though his assistant was getting electrocuted in the process, something he doubted Chobin minded very much. He blanched. "Ah, Viers, it looks as if Chobin will be…preoccupied…vhy don't you tend to Bellum until Chobin's…ah…finished?"

"Okay," Viers said. He paused. "By 'tend to,' you mean 'rape,' right?"

"Yes, of course," said the surprised Tarantulas. "Vhat did you zink I meant?"

"Just checking," the Emboar said, walking past Marianne and Chobin, who were starting to get a lot more intimate with each other, and proceeded to get very…intimate with Bellum.

Tarantulas frowned as he watched all this. "…You know, zis isn't quite as satisfying as I zought it vould be. Oh, vait…" He sent out a signal, and a moment later some of his robot spider henchmon scurried into the room carrying a tub of popcorn. "Zere ve go! Just vat ze Doctor ordered, and by Doctor, I mean me!"

Sprouting some tiny spider legs, Tarantulas pulled himself up onto the lip of the tub of popcorn and set his minions to work feeding him while he watched his greatest rival be horribly violated by Viers. It was just as satisfying as he had hoped.

…

Meanwhile, somewhere inside Gardevoir's head—or rather, inside someone _else's_…

"It sounds as if your friends have managed to strike an impressive blow against your captors," the blur said as he held up the teapot after Gardevoir finished regaling her dreaming ally with the story of Team Aurabolt's magnificent defeat of Doctor Tarantulas and the testimony they and Dean and Bob had finally been able to deliver to Fichina's Grand Council, which she had learned through the rebel network after several of the members started watching the Council meeting's transmission from Earth. "More tea?"

"Yes, please," Gardevoir said gratefully as she held out her teacup. Her host poured a generous amount into her cup. She marveled briefly at how the teapot never seemed to run out of the hot and delicious fluid, but considering they weren't actually drinking tea but were in some sort of mental facsimile, she supposed it wasn't that big a deal.

The mindscape where their host dwelled had changed since their first encounter what felt like over a year ago, going from an empty void to a beautiful marble patio jutting from the side of a large palace done in neo-classical style with majestic friezes and icons depicting the triumph of science and countless innovations developed by humans and Pokémon covering the sides built into a cliff looking out over a gorgeous verdant valley with some of the richest colors and most exotic-looking plants and flowers Gardevoir had ever seen (and since she'd been around for over a thousand years, though she could only recall bits and pieces of it, that was saying something), occupied by frolicking Pokémon bearing unusual markings living in burgeoning settlements demonstrating a level of artistry and technical know-how and innovation that modern Pokémon were only just scratching the surface of. When their host had first changed his domain to create this place, he had told his guests it was something he had seen in his fleeting memories. He could not recall where or even what it was, precisely, but felt strongly attached to it, saying it had felt like 'home.'

Their host himself, sadly, was still a blur, but thanks to repeated interactions with his guests and the slow recollection of more memories dredged from his amnesia, he'd begun to regain some focus, taking on a vaguely humanoid shape. Other than being very pale, that was about all they could make out of him, and all he could remember of himself at the present, but Gardevoir was confident that in time he would be able to fully recall who he was and what he had looked like.

Both her angelic and demonic alter egos teased her that he was probably handsome. She found herself hoping they were right.

"Hey, could I get some more over here?" the demon asked.

"You haven't even drunk any of yours," the angel said, daintily sipping from her own cup.

The demon glanced down at her cup, noticing that it was still full. "Oh. Huh. Wouldja look at that." She picked the cup up and threw its contents in the angel's face, laughing as her counterpart squealed and writhed as the hot drink scalded her. "There we go! Problem solved!"

"That was very rude! Apologize to your sister this instant!" Gardevoir scolded the demon angrily.

The demon frowned. "What? Why? It's not like that tea actually hurt her. Or was real to begin with."

"It _felt_ real," the angel complained, wiping her face with a napkin. She looked down at her dress, which was now very damp and covered with stains, in dismay. "And look what you did to my dress!"

"Eh, we both know you'd look better off without it on," the demon said with a leer that caused the angel to turn bright red, and possibly not just in embarrassment.

The vampire rolled her eyes in amusement as she sipped her own tea. "Such children…"

"Apologize!" Gardevoir repeated forcefully.

The demon sighed in exasperation. "Oh, fine…sorry I ruined your dress…even though you can fix it in like, a second, since it's not even real…"

"It's the principle of the matter," the angel huffed, waving a hand over her dress and mending the damage the tea had done to it.

"Still think you'd look better without it…" the demon muttered.

"I'm glad to see you are all still in good spirits, despite…losing one of your own…" the blur said gingerly.

Gardevoir's face fell, and she looked down into her teacup for a while, as if it held the answers to all the questions in the universe. It didn't. It just had tea. That was good enough for the present, however. The vampire queen sipped some of her tea before responding to her friend's statement. "Make no mistake, I am very saddened by the loss of Vladimir, even more because he is truly gone, and his spirit will no longer be held close to me like the rest of my children, due to his dying so far away from us," Gardevoir said sadly. "However, from what I have heard, he died well, saving a friend. His sacrifice for our cause shall be remembered always, and we will honor his memory and blood." She sighed and closed her eyes, a sense of shame welling up in her. "But…to be honest, while I am indeed upset by Vladimir's death, at the same time I am relieved that it was not one of my other friends…not Ash or Pikachu…who died instead. I can't help but feel terrible about that, since it's not fair to Vladimir."

"Perhaps not, but it is understandable," the blur said sympathetically as he poured her more tea without asking. "While you were very close to Vladimir, you have known Ash and Pikachu for much longer. And they have done so much for you…just as they have done a lot for me. There is no reason you should not have been concerned for their wellbeing, and that of their friends, as well."

Gardevoir smiled sadly. "Thank you for that. I still feel a bit bad for feeling grateful that someone else died, rather than Ash, though."

"The fact that you are aware it's wrong to feel that way proves once more the purity of your heart," the angel said kindly. She glared at the demon. "And that you're far better than _this_ one over here."

The demon rolled her eyes. "Oh, like you didn't feel grateful someone else died instead of Ash, too?"

"I-I most certainly did not!" the angel protested, face flushing.

"You shouldn't lie, you know. That's the sort of thing that's expected from me," the demon cajoled. "Keep that sort of hypocrisy up, and before you know it, you're going to be a _fallen_ angel like me!"

The angel responded by throwing her tea in the demon's face. As the demon hissed in pain and thrashed about, the vampire sweatdropped and said, "You're kind of proving her point, you know."

"Maybe, but that doesn't stop me from feeling good about it," the angel said smugly as the demon wiped herself off, a furious look on her face.

"Speaking of Ash, I don't suppose you've gotten any further on remembering your past or your connection to him?" Gardevoir asked to break up the argument between her other selves.

The blur hesitated, setting his teacup down on the table, untouched. "…I have, yes, but…I am hesitant to speak of it. It…does not paint me in a very flattering light. I was very shocked myself when I first remembered it."

Gardevoir and the vampire exchanged slightly concerned looks while the demon frowned and the angel said, "Well, surely it can't be that bad!"

"I beg to differ," the blur said unhappily.

"Tell us and let us judge for ourselves, then," the vampire said.

Gardevoir nodded in agreement. "Who you were then is not necessarily who you are now. At present, you are our friend, and as our friend we trust you. We promise we will try not to think too badly of you, no matter what…unpleasantness lies in your past."

"Very well," the blur said after a moment's pause. "Then let me tell you this: I have recalled the first time I met Ash."

"Oh! That's wonderful!" the angel said in delight. "That doesn't sound so bad!"

"Not so fast, he didn't tell us the context," the demon warned her opposite, the suspicions she had harbored of their new friend back when they first met rising to the forefront.

The blur nodded unhappily. "That is correct. I met Ash because…I was trying to kill him."

The four Gardevoirs recoiled in alarm. "Wh-what?" the angel cried.

"Called it," the demon growled.

"That wasn't very nice," the vampire said mildly.

"Why…why would you…" Gardevoir whispered, shocked. "I-I don't understand…why would you do such a thing?"

"I do not know," the blur said miserably, clearly distraught by how upset he had made his guests. "I was trying to do…something, and he was trying in turn to stop me. I regarded him as an annoyance, something that needed to get out of my way."

"No…" the angel said, looking heartbroken.

"So the nice guy thing really _was_ just an act, huh?" the demon snarled, surging to her feet. "Why, I oughta-"

"Wait," Gardevoir said, raising a hand. "We promised we would hear him out. This…surely this isn't all there is to the story, is it?"

"It is not," the blur agreed, relieved that he was being given a chance to continue. "I do not know why we were enemies the first time we met, but…I have also remembered the _second_ time we encountered each other. And that time…he saved my life, and I thought of him as a friend."

The demon blinked in surprise. "Well, that doesn't make sense…if you were a bad guy, why would Ash save you? Other than most heroes being dumb like that and thinking they have to save villains, I mean?"

"Because…maybe because he no longer _was_ a villain?" the angel asked hopefully.

The blur nodded. "I believe that may have been the case. I do not know what occurred between the first and second time I met Ash, but my state of mind and the way I regarded him were…different. If I was evil once—which I fear may have been the case the first time I met Ash—by the second time, I had changed my ways. I cannot help but feel that somehow, Ash had something to do with that as well."

The vampire nodded. "Yes, that sounds like something Ash would do."

"So you were evil once, but aren't anymore? Or at least, weren't by the time whatever happened to make you the way you are now…happened?" Gardevoir asked.

The blur nodded. "That is the most likely conclusion I can draw from these glimpses of my past."

"Well, that's good to know! That means we don't have to lay the smackdown on you," the demon said as she sat back down, hiding how relieved this knowledge made her. She hadn't really wanted to lose their new friend. He was nice. And kind of cute. (Possibly.)

"Or close the door between us and never see you again," the angel agreed.

The vampire frowned. "Speaking of which…Gardevoir, we need to return to our own mind."

Gardevoir blinked in surprise. "We do? Why?"

"Don't you feel it? Oblivion's Shadow is coming. And he's _angry_," the vampire said with a shudder.

Gardevoir blinked in surprise, and then closed her eyes in concentration. Her other two imaginary friends did the same thing. The angel gasped, her eyes flying open after only a moment. "S-so much hatred…so much _rage_…I don't think I've ever seen him this _angry!"_

"Yikes! Too much for me to handle, too!" the demon said in alarm. "This isn't good…think we may have to push up our plans to fight him sooner than we expected?"

"I hope not, because now isn't really the best time for our confrontation," Gardevoir said with a frown as she opened her eyes. "While the Nihilators are in disarray at the moment thanks to our friends getting the word out on Earth and our own acts of sabotage here, we aren't ready to openly rebel against them. We may have managed to turn a sizable number of the base's population to our side, but we still stand a good chance of being crushed by the Shadow if there isn't a suitable distraction—like, say, Ash and the others leading an attack on the fortress—to give us the opening we need to strike."

"Then you'd better hope the Shadow doesn't force us into a fight, because honestly, right now I am _not_ in the mood to take any more of that guy's shit!" the demon snarled.

"Calm down," the angel said, putting a hand on her sister's arm. "The time will come. We just have to be patient for a little longer."

"Yeah, and how many more Pokémon are gonna die because we don't just start the revolution already?" the demon demanded.

"No more than there would be if we started it too early and ruined all the hopes everyone has placed on us," the vampire said sagely. "Do not forget that a lot is riding on us, since we're one of the few beings in the fortress that may actually stand a chance at lasting against the Shadow for more than a second. We cannot afford to squander the faith that has been put on us."

The demon sagged in her seat. "I know, I know…it sucks, though."

"What hasn't, since we went to Treasure Town and all this started?" Gardevoir said wearily, rising to her feet and graciously curtseying to the blur. "I'm sorry we have to leave so suddenly, but as you can see, we really have to return to our own body. It would not do for the Shadow to find me asleep and wonder why my consciousness isn't entirely there."

"I understand," the blur said regretfully. "I wish you could have stayed a little longer, though. It never seems like you girls stay long enough."

"Don't worry," the demon said with a sultry wink. "Once we've taken down the Nihilators and woken you up from whatever trance they're keeping you in, we'll have aaaaall the time in the world to spend together. Literally, since both of us are probably immortal and all."

The blur chuckled, hiding a blush. (Maybe? Hard to tell since they couldn't see his cheeks.) "I am greatly looking forward to it. Farewell for now, and come back soon. It's rather lonely in here, being by myself."

"We'll be back as soon as we can, I promise," Gardevoir said, nodding to her figments, which rose to join her. "Come on girls, let's go."

The door back to her mind materialized out of thin air nearby, open as always. None of them dared to close it, for fear of what might happen. None of them was sure just how stable the link between their minds was, and didn't want to risk severing it by accident. The others quickly curtseyed and said their farewells, and then the four of them filed out of the mindscape, leaving the blur alone. Once they were gone, the amnesiac being sighed and let the beautiful landscape around him fade back into the default void he had grown far too accustomed to. While the view was lovely, it wasn't quite as nice without someone else to look at it with. "Come back soon, girls…" he whispered to himself, reaching for his teacup. He drank it, then made a face and put it back down. It didn't seem to taste as good when it was just him drinking it, either. "I don't know how much longer I can stand this solitude…"

Once back inside her mind, Gardevoir quickly awakened and rose from her bed, hearing the myriad voices of her friends in the rebel network chattering excitedly in the back of her head about all the news reports that were pouring in about global reactions to the Fichina broadcast or how all the Nihilators were running around like their tails were on fire and how that ice bitch Bellum was finally getting what she deserved and even some disbelieving comments about how Marianne and Chobin had gotten together, much to the disappointment of several Pokémon who'd placed pretty high wagers that something like that would never happen. Underlying all this joy and hope that soon this nightmare would be behind them, however, was a strong current of dread: all of them could tell that Oblivion's Shadow was angry, and were scared about what he'd do about it. The Shadow had suffered a significant blow that day, and as they all knew, a predator is sometimes at its most dangerous when it's wounded.

The Shadow's presence was _felt_ before it was seen, a barely-contained aura of fury and malevolence threatening to erupt at a moment's notice, scalding the minds of all who could sense it and even causing Gardevoir, who had grown more powerful than ever since her transformation, to recoil in concern. _He really _is_ angry…_ she thought to herself in alarm.

_Gardevoir, you probably should not do anything to incite him,_ the Teacher said. _In his current volatile state, if he loses his temper, there is a good chance that most of us will die in the ensuing blast._

_Oh great. _ANOTHER_ thing for me to worry about,_ one of the prisoners moaned.

_Won't that take out the Nihilators, too? _Kevin asked. _I mean, it'd suck if we all exploded, but at least then the world would be saved. And so long as one of us survived, the rest of us would still exist too._

_The Shadow wouldn't die, though,_ Lovrina pointed out. _And as long as he lives, the world will NEVER be safe from the Nihilators._

_Plus, even though the base would be destroyed, there's still the hundreds of ships in orbit around the planet, and whatever's left on Earth,_ the vampiric Hitmonchan added. _They would be weakened, but far from completely defeated._

_Okay, okay, I get the point. It was just a thought…_ Kevin said.

_Teacher, I will try not to incite his wrath on purpose, but I don't intend to simply lie down and let him have his way with me either,_ Gardevoir said firmly.

…_Are you sure? That actually sounds kind of hot,_ Lovrina said after a short pause. Everyone groaned.

_Lovrina, she didn't mean that sexually,_ Kevin said wearily.

_Yeah, I know. More's the pity…_ the very…odd vampire Skitty grumbled. Gardevoir sweatdropped.

_Are you certain that is wise, Gardevoir? Too much resistance might set him off,_ the Teacher said.

_Whereas if there's _no_ resistance, there's a chance he'll find out what we're hiding,_ Gardevoir reminded him. _You've done a good job of altering my thought patterns to make my knowledge of the network virtually inaccessible to the Shadow, but if he tries hard enough, especially in his current state of mind, I wouldn't be so certain he wouldn't find a way to get at it._

_A good point. Very well. Even so, be careful_, her mentor warned her.

Gardevoir smirked briefly. _If anything, it's the _Shadow_ who should be careful of _me.

The palpable sense of intense anger continued building until it was so thick in the air that if Gardevoir still needed to breathe, she might have started choking. She clenched her fists and marshaled her power, refusing to be Miltanked by the Shadow's little tantrum. Finally, her captor at last showed himself, stalking into view before the energy field barring her cell, leaving burning black footprints in his wake as an incredibly powerful and angry-looking knot of Shadow Aura swirled around him. Despite herself, a shiver ran down Gardevoir's spine at the presence of such naked, _evil_ power…but she reminded herself she had a fair bit of power as well, and kept her face in a firm expression of resolve.

"Lord Shadow," she said, bowing to the villain while trying not to sound sarcastic about it. "To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?" As she bowed, she noticed there was something strange about the Shadow's…well, shadow. It bore little resemblance to the Shadow himself, looking almost like a completely different Pokémon. Much to her surprise and that of everyone else watching through her eyes, the lesser shadow turned towards her and…waved? She blinked, but did not allow her expression to change, not wanting to let the Shadow know she had been surprised by whatever was going on with his shadow. Was he even aware of it? If he wasn't, she saw no reason to clue him in about it.

"Gardevoir," he said coldly, walking through the force field. He didn't shut it off, he just _walked through it_, the energy from his Shadow Aura distorting the field and causing the generators in the walls to sizzle and spark as they struggled to compensate for his sheer power, the force field flickering in his wake as it tried to reassert itself once the Shadow had fully entered the room. "We need to talk."

She raised an eyebrow. "About…?"

And suddenly he was right in front of her. He hadn't Teleported or taken a step, he was just right _there_. Despite herself, Gardevoir was startled, and took a step back to get away from the Aura writhing around him. She didn't like the way it felt against her skin. "Do _not_ play games with me," he hissed, the reflection in his mask twisted in a tight expression of barely-contained fury that was completely unrecognizable on her face. "Your minions just released an astonishing amount of information to the world's governments explicitly detailing some of our most closely-kept secrets, exposing virtually every Nihilator agent, facility, and project Earthside to the authorities and causing an unimaginable amount of damage to our operations. Do you have any _idea_ how many of my plans have been thoroughly ruined?"

She did, actually, but saw no reason to let him know that. "Quite a lot, I wager?" she asked.

"That," he snarled. "Would be an understatement."

Gardevoir shrugged, a thin smile on her face. "Delighted as I am to hear how severe a blow my friends have dealt you, and as flattered as I am that you felt you had to come all the way here to deliver the news in person, I get the feeling there is more that you want to discuss other than current events outside my prison."

"You would be correct," he said. "Your servants possessed information that not even the highest-ranked members of my organization are privy to, information it was _impossible_ for them to know. And yet they knew it, despite having spent the entirety of their time in this stronghold under heavy guard and observation, either in a cell block or a laboratory, with no conceivable access to the resources they would need to obtain this information. And yet they got it anyway. And I want to know how."

Gardevoir raised an eyebrow. "And what makes you think I know?"

"Because you are their Queen. They _live_ to obey you. They would do nothing without your permission or guidance," the Shadow hissed. "And then there's the fact that your kind has some kind of 'Dark' telepathy that I have as yet been unable to properly study or find a way to quantifiably measure, despite all the tests I've run on you."

Gardevoir smirked. "So what, you're suggesting that I somehow managed to learn all the information you've been keeping a secret and somehow transmitted it to them using my telepathic link to them?"

"That's _one_ possibility, yes," he said.

"You _are_ aware that we're approximately 100 million miles from Earth at present, aren't you?" Gardevoir asked. "I think even _you_ would have difficulty sending a telepathic signal from this distance and expecting it to get there in less than several months."

"I have a long-range transmitter and several relays scattered throughout the Solar system allowing me near-instantaneous communication with any of my agents on Earth or elsewhere, be it through regular or telepathic means," he countered. "I see no reason you cannot have hijacked my transmitter to send that information from them, and since your 'Dark' telepathy is so far almost completely undetectable, none of us would have noticed before it was too late."

It was a very good theory. Gardevoir was impressed despite herself. It was wrong, however. "That's a very interesting proposal. You seem to be forgetting, however, that such a plan would have to rely on _me_ somehow obtaining that top-secret information and then sending it into the transmitter. How would I possibly be able to gain it from in here, considering all I ever see are my cell and your laboratories, let alone send it?"

"Quite easy: you had help," the Shadow accused. "Tarantulas' reports and my tests confirm you have the ability to control Dark-type Pokémon. Although I've taken countermeasures to prevent you from dominating any of my Dark-type henchmons and made sure all of them were kept under close observation for any unusual behavior, it is not unfeasible that you might somehow have managed to gain control of one—or even several-of them despite my efforts, used your agents to gather information, then the next time we used the transmitter to communicate with Earth had them Grumpiggyback a telepathic data packet containing that information on the signal that your Earthbound minions would receive at the same time my forces received their latest orders."

Again, a very good theory. _That's…actually pretty clever,_ said one of the chefs, stunned.

_Why the heck didn't we think of that?_ A technician cried, astonished.

_Damn, I have to give it to Oblivion's Shadow, he's an evil sonuvabitch, but he's not stupid,_ Kevin said grudgingly.

_Which is why he's perfect for Gardevoir-sama!_ Lovrina squealed.

_Lovrina, please stop throwing around Japonese honorifics like you actually know what they mean, you may think it's cute but really it's just kind of annoying,_ Kevin said.

_Silence, slave!_ She bellowed.

_Yes, Mistress,_ he said obediently.

_Teacher, I don't suppose we could do something like that to get in contact with our friends on Earth?_ Gardevoir asked hopefully.

_Hmm. The idea certainly holds merit, but now that the Shadow has thought of it, I doubt he will allow us to sneak something like that under his nose,_ the Teacher mused.

Gardevoir sighed. _I thought as much. Oh well, it was worth a try._

Out loud, she said, "That's also a very interesting proposal, but forgive me if it seems a little far-fetched. First of all, you're assuming that I'm strong enough to take control of someone I've never seen or felt." She was, actually, but he didn't need to know that. "Second, you're also assuming that I would be able to take control of said someone without you noticing, and as you've said, you've been keeping a careful eye out for anyone who I might be capable of dominating like that. What makes you think I could circumvent your surveillance like that, given how many security measures you've enacted?"

"Because my surveillance has _already_ been circumvented," he said. "Immediately after your friends crossed the border to Fichina, I attempted to enact damage control to keep the world governments so occupied they would be unable to heed your subordinates' message or warning about our presence. A series of shockingly unfortunate coincidences crippled all of my efforts to take control over the situation, leaving me helpless to do anything but watch as your vassals ruined _decades_ of work in only a few hours. These coincidences are too convenient to be simply accidents. It can only be sabotage."

"You're being paranoid. Perhaps you need to pay your maintenance division better and give them shorter work shifts?" Gardevoir suggested, much to the delight of the Nihilators' maintenance division, at least a quarter of which was on her side.

"This isn't the first time a convenient accident has ruined or slowed down my operations at a crucial juncture," the Shadow continued, unfazed. "There were several odd occurrences that took place during the end of our occupation of the Tree of Beginning that allowed Team Aurabolt to escape alive with nearly of the Caretakers in one piece, occurrences which also could be put down to equipment failure or sheer incompetence if they hadn't been so unnervingly beneficial to our enemies. And there have been many other, similar abrupt failures or accidents over the years just like that which have caused me more trouble than I would have liked…such as how Captain Briney kept finding our hideouts, despite my best attempts to hide our operations from his one-mon rampage of revenge! I've suspected that someone has been undermining me right under my nose for _years_…and now I'm absolutely certain of it, thanks to this latest set of inconvenient coincidences!"

_Oh shit! He's onto us!_ A guard screamed. He wasn't the only one. Cries of fear, panic, and worry began to fill the network, inciting feelings of terror and desperation in everyone connected to it.

_No, he _suspects_ we exist. He still hasn't found us,_ the Teacher said soothingly, calming the chaos threatening to throw the network into disarray. _He still doesn't know who we are, or how we're operating. And so long as we scale back our operations a bit and give him no reason to suspect any of us for the foreseeable future, we'll keep it that way._

_What? I thought we were _scaling up_ our plans!_ Kevin protested.

_That was before the Shadow became more aware of our existence. We cannot afford to let him uncover our conspiracy at this stage,_ the Teacher said.

_He looks like he's about to anyway, since he has Gardevoir right there!_ The prisoner protested.

_Don't worry. The Mistress has no intention of letting that happen!_ The dead vampire Nosepass said.

_You're right,_ Gardevoir agreed, narrowing her eyes. _I don't._ "Now I _really_ know you're paranoid. I wasn't even a vampire at the time most of that happened."

"That doesn't mean a rebellion doesn't exist, merely that you were not part of it at that point in time," the Shadow said.

"And what makes you think I'm part of it at all now, assuming that it exists?" Gardevoir asked.

"It _has_ to exist, because it's the only plausible explanation for how your minions obtained that information, which means _you_ must be involved as well, since thanks to the link you share with them, they can't have done anything without your knowledge or approval," the Shadow said.

Well, damn. He had her there. "You're still making the assumption that there's a rebellion. You claim that they must have circumvented your security without you knowing about it. Wouldn't a more reasonable explanation for why you haven't managed to capture them in spite of your increasingly heightened surveillance be that they don't exist, and therefore it's working perfectly and there just happens to be nothing for it to catch? And that all of the inconvenient accidents you've been having are really nothing more than accidents, rather than the work of some great and terrible conspiracy that only you are aware of? After all, Occam's Razor states that the simplest explanation is usually the correct one. Don't you think you might be overcomplicating things by blaming all of your problems on saboteurs who may not exist?"

"That's a fairly logical and reasoned agreement, and in normal circumstances I might actually agree with you, except for one little thing:" the Shadow said, leaning close so his mask was only inches from Gardevoir's face. "If there is no conspiracy, THEN HOW ON MARS DID YOUR SERVANTS MANAGE TO GET THAT INFORMATION?"

Gardevoir shrugged, somewhat uneasy at the fact that she couldn't come up with a plausible explanation, and neither could her friends. "Your guess is as good as mine."

"No. No it's not. Because you're _lying_ to me," he hissed. "I may have trouble reading your mind at the moment, and I can sense that much. You know more than you're letting on, just as you _have_ to have known whatever it was your servants learned, since there's no way they could have done that without you being part of it. Which means that someone had to have given it to them, which in turn means that _you know_ who that someone is, and you are going to tell me who's plotting against me. _Now._"

Her face tightened into a grimace. "Even if I knew of any mythical conspirators—which I don't—what makes you think that I would _ever_ tell you their identities?"

"You don't have to," Oblivion's Shadow said. "Because I'm going to pry the information right from your brain, no matter how much it hurts the both of us."

A collective _Uh-oh_ rang throughout the network. "I thought you said you couldn't read my mind," she said warily, trying not to let any hint of fear into her voice or expression.

"Maybe I just wasn't trying hard enough," he said coldly. And then, without warning, he attacked.

Gardevoir had thought she knew the extent of the Shadow's mental power, that she understood what kind of might he could bring to bear in a Psychic assault from his previous forays into her mind. She was wrong. The amount of force he'd used on her before was nothing more than a trickling stream compared to the sheer _ocean_ of psychokinetic power he poured into her head. She gasped in shock as the Shadow brought the full weight of his incalculably powerful intellect smashing down on her brain, flowing around her hastily-raised defenses, forcibly probing at weak spots and cracks in her mental barriers, small tendrils of mental will starting to break through just as a dam begins to leak as pressure from the water it's holding back grows greater and greater. She ground her teeth so hard she drew blood, struggling to muster all the power she possessed, fighting with every last shred of willpower she possessed to keep the Shadow at bay…but it wasn't enough. Her mind alone was not enough to match that of Oblivion's Shadow.

Which was why it was such a good thing she was not alone. _Let us help you,_ her friends said, lending her as much mental energy as they could, flooding her mind with their encouragements and praises and vows of support, filling her body with their hopes and wishes and desperate defiance against this, the being responsible for all their suffering and torment, giving everything they had to thwart their seemingly invincible captor just this one time…and prove that he _could_ be beaten, and that they had the means to do it not just once, but as many times as necessary, until he could no longer hurt them any longer and they would at last be free.

The Shadow staggered back in surprise as suddenly the tide was turned, Gardevoir's mental defenses not only shoring up but surging outwards, flinging his own power right back in his face! "GET…OUT…OF MY HEAD!" Gardevoir howled as her eyes turned solid red, a wave of dark energy blasting out from her and rippling across the room, shattering many of the UV lamps, tearing her luxurious furniture and carpet to pieces, causing the force field generators to malfunction and nearly break down, and slamming Oblivion's Shadow into a wall hard enough to crater it, cracking his mask and breaking off one of his horns in the process. His Shadow Aura completely dissipated, blown away utterly by Gardevoir's feedback, and the strangely-shaped shadow trailing across the ground applauded ecstatically.

"I-impossible," the Shadow gasped in disbelief as he slid off the wall and stumbled to his feet, staring at the figure standing in the middle of the room, no longer looking quite so much like an imprisoned damsel and more like a warrior queen who was trying to decide whether or not to kill a pest who was bothering her. "You…you should not be this powerful! Your inhibitors-"

"Are still working perfectly. I just happen to be…outgrowing them," she said with a sinister smile. My, but it felt good to act like this! She was starting to think her demonic aspect was right, she had been a bit too vanilla for her own good. Well, that certainly wasn't going to be a problem anymore.

"…Is that so?" the Shadow asked, telepathically triggering the devices in her restraints.

Instantly, a surge of pain shot through Gardevoir, pain so severe it caused her to collapse to the floor and scream bloody murder while flailing about so hard she dislocated her own limbs…or at least, it would have if she were still just a Gardevoir, rather than a vampire, and if she hadn't gotten a little too used to pain by now thanks to all the experiments both Oblivion's Shadow and Tarantulas had run on her. The fact that her pain tolerance had increased along with her constantly growing powers helped as well, to the point that agony that would have caused her to black out or be reduced to a quivering mass before her transformation now felt like little more than a dull ache, annoying but certainly not debilitating. However, it wouldn't pay to let the Shadow know that, so she contorted her face in an expression of feigned torment and collapsed to her knees, trembling all over. "Nngh…well, perhaps I haven't outstripped them _just_ yet…" she lied through gritted fangs. The strange shadow on the ground applauded, and she found herself gratified that someone aside from her friends in the network was impressed by her acting skills.

"That is reassuring. Even so, I'm going to have to make adjustments in the future. It's clear your power has been growing more than I realized, despite my attempts to curb it…" the Shadow murmured, his earlier anger transitioning into his usual scientific curiosity.

_I'd like to see you try,_ she thought to herself.

_You do? Because I don't,_ said one of the secret vampires in the network in alarm.

_Yes, we don't want to see you hurt, Mistress!_ Another said.

_Especially if it leads to him actually finding a way to suppress your abilities,_ the Teacher said.

She struggled not to sweatdrop. _It was a figure of speech, guys. Relax…_

"While that little display of yours didn't give me quite what I was looking for, it was still informative in other ways," the Shadow said, grabbing her attention again.

"Oh? How do you figure that?" she grunted.

"You've confirmed my hypothesis: there is a rebellion at work, and you are part of it," the Shadow said.

"And how do you figure that?" Gardevoir asked, trying not to show any alarm.

"Because if you had nothing to hide, you wouldn't have fought so hard to keep me out of your mind," the Shadow reasoned, which was completely accurate.

"You don't think it had anything to do with me not wanting to experience your brand of psychic rape again?" she asked, trying to deflect him.

"I'm sure that's part of it," the Shadow admitted. "But you're hiding something. I know it. And one way or another, I'm going to get it out of you."

"And how do you intend to do that?" she asked. "Your mind probes didn't work, and if you think a little pain like this—after everything else I've suffered at the hands of you and the Doctor—will make me tell you anything, you have another thing coming. And I don't even have anything to hide to begin with!"

"Somehow I doubt that," he said snidely. "You're correct though, I doubt pain, either physical or mental, will force you to divulge your secrets. It's a good thing those aren't the only methods I have at my disposal. Or did you forget the original ultimatum I used to keep you in your cell when we first met?"

Gardevoir had not. Her eyes widened in alarm. "You don't mean…the children?"

The Shadow nodded, a cold look on his reflected face. "There are approximately two hundred and thirty-three children imprisoned in this fortress."

"Two hundred and thirty-three? That's a very specific number. What's approximate about that?" Gardevoir asked.

"Several of them are Doctor Tarantulas' test subjects, and as such it's debatable whether they could still be considered children. Or Pokémon at all," the Shadow explained.

"Ah," Gardevoir said.

"If you do not give me the answers I am looking for, I will kill them one at a time, one for each minute you do not tell me what I want to know," the Shadow threatened. "And if that doesn't work, then I will begin killing the vampires Tarantulas still has in his lab, your _own _children."

_Wait, what? I don't want to die!_ The vampire Doduo cried in alarm.

_Relax, comrade, death's not so bad, you just drift around the network like the rest of us who've shuffled off our mortal coils,_ the dead vampire Nosepass said.

_That doesn't change the fact that I'd have to die first, which I really am not looking forward to!_ The Doduo shrieked.

_H-he's bluffing. He's gotta be!_ Kevin stammered.

_Um…no, Kevin, I don't think he is…_ Lovrina said uneasily.

_Teacher, we thought something like this might happen. Did we…?_ Gardevoir asked.

_Induct every child in the fortress into our network? We have indeed. Several of them are part of your fold, even though the Nihilators are not aware of it just yet,_ the Teacher said as two hundred and thirty-three presences made themselves felt in the network.

_We're all here, Missus Gardevoir,_ one of the children said. _So don't worry on our account, if the Shadow kills us, we'll be fine, we'll just join everyone else who's dead in the network!_

_Speak for yourself! I don't wanna die!_ Another child protested.

_I don't want to either!_ Cried another child.

_Or me!_

_Or me!_

_Now you know how I feel!_ The Doduo said as the vampire Hitmonchan sighed in exasperation.

_We don't wanna die, Miss Gardevoir! Please don't let him kill us!_ One of the children begged.

Gardevoir hesitated, her resolve faltering. _I-_

_Don't listen to them, Mistress!_ One of her own among the children cried. _We'll be fine! Don't sacrifice yourself and everything you've been working for for our sake! That'll just make things worse for everyone!_

_No, don't listen to _him!_ Haven't we suffered enough? Do you want to be responsible for our deaths, too?_ Another, relatively normal child protested.

_And in death, your suffering will come to an end!_ Another one of the vampires said. _You will be nurtured by all of us, your spirit held close to the bosom of the Mistress!_

_Do we get to drink her milk, too?_ One child who was not past his bottle-feeding years asked.

There was an awkward pause. _Um…yeah. Sure. Let's go with that,_ the vampire kid asked.

While a few of the children seemed to be reconsidering, the majority of them were adamant: none of them wanted to die. Their terrified begs and pleas began to ring throughout every corner of the network, their shouts and wails drowning out everyone else and filling Gardevoir's head with nothing but their desperate, frenzied wails for mercy. _DON'T LET US DIE! DON'T LET US DIE! DON'T LET US DIE!_ They shouted at the top of their astral voices.

Gardevoir's face twisted in anguish, this time for real. _Teacher, what do I do?_

…_The logical thing to do would be to refuse the Shadow. However…it is your decision, Gardevoir. Whatever choice you make, we will abide by,_ the Teacher said after a moment's thought.

_W-wait, what? You mean you're going to let her sell us all out?_ Kevin protested in horror.

_If that is her decision, then yes,_ the Teacher said.

_No! You can't do that! Not after everything we've been through to make it this far!_ The prisoner protested. _You can't just throw it all away like that!_

_We have already made a great many sacrifices to reach this point. How many of you want the deaths of over two hundred children on your consciences?_ A medic asked.

_They'll be fine! They'll be here with us, nice and safe and pain and rape-free!_ The technician responsible for sabotaging the long-range transmitter the previous night and was summarily executed said.

_That doesn't change the fact that they're children! Any future they might have had will be cut short permanently!_ A chef argued.

_We don't know that, we're all supposed to get bodies after this is all through-_ the medic said.

_And how sure are you of that? Sure enough to risk the lives of two hundred and twenty-three kids?_ An angry janitor, who himself had been a parent—as had quite a lot of the members of the network, actually, and more than a few of the imprisoned kids were their own children—shouted.

The din inside Gardevoir's head grew even louder as the adults making up the network—which was the overwhelming majority of them—began bickering over whether or not it was right to sacrifice the kids. At the same time, the vampires were bellowing that all of them should shut up and let their Mistress decide for herself, which wasn't making the noise any quieter, and the children were arguing and begging her to either kill them or save them as well. _Teacher…please…_ Gardevoir begged in a ragged voice, feeling her sanity unraveling by the second.

_You know where I stand on this, Gardevoir. But ultimately, this is your decision. You must do whatever you deem best…no matter what the consequences,_ the Teacher said sadly.

…_You're right. As always._ Gardevoir closed her eyes and took a deep breath. At the top of her astral voice, she bellowed, _EVERYONE, BE QUIET!_ The chatter on the network instantly died down in surprise, everyone startled into silence by Gardevoir's cry. A tense anticipation filled the air as they awaited the vampire queen's next statement, one that would seal their fate. _I have made my decision,_ Gardevoir declared in a tone that tolerated no argument. _There is no way of changing my mind. I am sorry, everyone, but this is something I have to do. I cannot do anything less than this. I have to be true to myself, no matter…no matter what the consequences…_ She ground her fangs and clenched her claws so hard they drew blood. _May…may I be forgiven for what I am about to do._

And as all her friends and allies stared on in shocked silence, she opened her eyes, stared Oblivion's Shadow right in the mirror, and said, "No."

The reflection before her grinned. "Excellent. I knew you'd…wait. What did you say?"

"I said no. I will not tell you anything. You can kill two hundred children, or a thousand, or even ten thousand, and my answer will remain the same. I will not assist you. I will not give you the satisfaction of triumphing over me once again by using my better nature against me. I do not care what you do to me or those children, but _I will not help you,_" she said with all the power and conviction of a true monarch, which, to be honest, she was.

Oblivion's Shadow stared at her in bemusement, which slowly turned to confused disbelief when her expression didn't change. "You…you're joking, right? You can't…you can't be _serious…"_

"Oh?" she asked, voice as cold as the grave. "Why not?"

"Because…because you're the pure-hearted maiden! You're a _hero!_" the Shadow protested, a shocked look on the reflection on his mask. "You…you can't just condemn innocent children to death like that!"

"Who said I was? The last time I checked, you were the one threatening to kill them," Gardevoir said.

"Yes, but you're the one who's _letting_ me!" the Shadow protested.

"Which means we are both to blame. I can accept that," she said. "After all, I _am_ a vampire, aren't I? A bloodthirsty creature of the night? What are the deaths of a few hundred mortals to one such as I?"

"…You're lying," the Shadow said, although there was a hint of uncertainty in his voice. This was not going according to script. This was not how he had expected things to go. Something…something was wrong. _Terribly_ wrong. "You aren't like that. Even after changing, you've still been the same pure-hearted womon you were before! And the Gardevoir I knew before would _never_ allow something like this to happen!"

"The Gardevoir you knew before? You didn't know anything about me!" Gardevoir shouted angrily, rising to her feet. "You think just because you forced yourself into my mind and gave me a nice cage that we were friends or something? You kidnapped me and Misty! You _tortured her_ for no reason, and then _killed her!_ You've been doing unspeakable things to both your enemies, your allies, and your prisoners, are trying to kill my friends on Earth, take over the world, and do who knows what else! You are possibly the evilest Pokémon who has ever lived, assuming you're even a Pokémon at all! If I really am so 'pure-hearted,' what makes you think I would _ever_ willingly associate myself with a monster like you?"

"I-I-" the Shadow stammered.

"You _are_ right about one thing, though," she sneered. "The Gardevoir you 'knew' before would never have allowed you to go through with something like this. But you know what? _I'm not that Gardevoir anymore._" She stalked forward until she was standing only inches away from him, staring furiously up into his mask, and for once it was the _Shadow_ who was leaning away with a look of horror on his face. "She died in that prison, and became what you see before you: the queen of the vampires, ruler of a new breed of undead, who will not be broken or Miltanked no matter what you threaten me with. You may hurt me all you like, Shadow, but you will never bend me to your will again. _I do not belong to you!"_

He stared at her for several moments, stunned. Finally, his expression hardened, and he said, "Pretty words. Let's see how long they last. I'm not bluffing. I'll really do it."

"I know you will," Gardevoir said. "But here's the thing, Shadow…you say you're not bluffing? Well, _neither am I._"

They stared each other down for several seconds. Suddenly, there was an abrupt scream of agony over the network, which trailed off at the end and was followed by a sigh of surprised relief. Gardevoir did not flinch. She didn't flinch either, when the Shadow said, "I've just killed the first child."

"I know," she said.

"Another will die in fifty seconds if you do not comply with my request."

"I know," she said.

"You will be responsible for the deaths of two children."

"I know. And so will you," she said.

Time passed. One after another, every sixty seconds, a child died screaming…and then was welcomed by its deceased brethren on the network with open arms. The feel of horror, disbelief, and panic that had permeated the network ever since Gardevoir had issued her proclamation slowly turned to awe and excitement, the fears of everyone involved dissipating as the children were reassured and encouraged by those who had come before them that death wasn't really so bad after all, there was just a quick pain at the start and then everything changed for the better. And as the joy and relief of the rebels grew, so did the confusion and uncertainty on the reflection in Oblivion's Shadow's mask as he continued to announce death after death with no visible change in Gardevoir's expression and resolve. By the time they had passed the forty -minute mark, that look had changed into doubt, and after an hour, what Gardevoir could have sworn was actual _fear_. After the one hundred and eighth child died with no effect, the Shadow, looking very much shaken, finally said, "It's clear that this isn't working."

"No," she agreed. "It's not."

"I will have to try other measures if I am to find what I am looking for," he said.

"Yes," she agreed. "You will."

He regarded her for a long moment. "You've…_changed_, Gardevoir," he said finally.

"If I have," she said. "It's all because of you."

Somewhat stiffly, he headed towards the exit. He never turned his back to her, something she found darkly amusing. He passed through the barrier over the entrance and headed down a corridor, perhaps a tad bit faster than normal, his shadow lingering longer than usual, just long enough to give her a thumb's up before chasing after its caster. At that, she actually laughed.

_That…that was…that was so fucking hardcore!_ Said a stunned Kevin.

_That was amazing!_ Lovrina agreed. _Mistress, I…I hate to say it, but I didn't think you had that in you!_

_Neither did I, to be honest,_ Gardevoir admitted, slumping wearily against what was left of her bed. _What I just did…it didn't set well with me, and it still doesn't. However, it had to be done. We cannot afford to compromise or show weakness to the likes of Oblivion's Shadow, not now, and not ever. No matter…no matter what the consequences…_

_It's okay, Miss Gardevoir, _the one hundred and eight children being cradled by their peers both living and dead on the network chorused. _We forgive you!_

_Thank you for that, little ones,_ she said with a faint smile. _But I am not certain I can forgive myself. Not yet. Maybe not ever._

_Regardless, you have done something I am not sure many of us could do,_ the Teacher said. _Stood up to the Shadow…and won! You are truly a most remarkable individual, Gardevoir. We are lucky to count you among our number._

_Thank you,_ she said. She sighed. _I just hope I won't have to do something like that again._

_Why? You don't think you can do it again?_ A guard asked in alarm.

She shook her head. _No, I'm fairly certain I can. It's just that I don't want any more Pokémon to have to die senselessly. Arceus knows there's more than enough blood already on that monster's hands…_

Outside, somewhere down the corridor…

Oblivion's Shadow stumbled through the innards of his personal laboratory, a stunned look on his face beneath his mask, his hands twitching occasionally. _That…that wasn't…that wasn't supposed to happen!_ He cried in disbelief, still trying to comprehend what had just taken place. _She wasn't supposed to have resisted for that long! Those children…that many children weren't supposed to die! Half a dozen, perhaps, but certainly not _a hundred and eight!_ How…how could she do that to them?_

_How could _you_ do that to them?_ A voice asked.

_She drove me to do it! I had no choice!_ He justified.

_There's always a choice. And you chose to intimidate her and murder innocent children just because she wouldn't let you have your way._

_It was necessary! Whoever these rebels are, however they're doing what they're doing, they're hindering the Plan! And if I can't carry out the Plan, then…then I can't make things right! Then everything I've done so far will have been for nothing!_

_Ah, so your solution was to commit even more atrocities to make it look like the ones you've committed already actually meant something. I see now, it all makes perfect sense! You're COMPLETELY INSANE!_

"Shut up, Mother!" the Shadow snapped reflexively, before realizing that it wasn't his mother who had said that. It had been himself. For a heart-stopping moment, he wondered if he'd ever been hearing her voice at all, or if it had just been whatever withered husk remained of his conscience all along. But no, that was ridiculous. And yet…

"Mother? Mother, are you there?" He whipped his head in alarm, straining his physical and psychic senses for any hint of her voice. Much to his confusion and surprise, he couldn't hear her at all. Right about now would usually be when she would chastise him or beg him to reconsider the path he had taken. But he heard nothing. Nothing at all. This didn't make sense. Why…why would she…

She hadn't…she hadn't _abandoned _him, had she? She'd promised she wouldn't. She loved him. She'd told him so, repeatedly. And if she really loved him, then she wouldn't just…_stop_, would she?

He leaned against the wall in confusion, feeling a profound sense of loss…and confusion. Wasn't this what he'd wanted? Hadn't he longed frequently for her to shut up with her sanctimonious preaching and just leave him alone? If that was the case, then why, now that he couldn't hear her anymore, did he feel so…empty? "Mother? Did…did you leave me? Why…"

"Why? Maybe because you just murdered a hundred and eight children to try and prove a point?" Darkrai suggested as he rose from the Shadow's shadow. "Nice symbolism on that, by the way. Was it intentional that you chose to end on the number supposedly representing the ultimate reality of the universe as paradoxically simultaneously being one, emptiness, and infinite according to a bunch of different religions, or was that just a coincidence?"

"Darkrai…now…now is not a good time…" the Shadow said, unable to muster the anger he usually felt at the dark god's presence. He didn't understand. Where had his rage gone? And why did he feel so weak without it? Had he really been relying on it for strength for this long?

Darkrai chuckled and wrapped an arm across the Shadow's shoulders. "Oh, I know, which is why it seems like a perfect time for me to harass you some more! Way to go back there, by the way. You _totally_ showed Gardevoir how much of a badass evil mofo you are by massacring over a hundred kids just because she wouldn't let you psychically rape her. You're one stone-cold heartless pure evil monster, you are. Although…" He frowned, feigning puzzlement. "Why didn't you finish the job like you said you would and kill them all, along with those vampires of hers? Did you just get bored that it was taking so long, because I know I was. I almost left and went to get something to eat, but I didn't want to miss anything, so I decided to stick around until the end just in case. I almost wish I hadn't, but the look on your face as she just refused to give you what you wanted was absolutely priceless! Well, not really, since I can't see your face under that mask, but I could totally picture it, and let me tell you, it was all I could do not to start laughing and ruin the whole dramatic tension of the scene."

"Darkrai-" the Shadow started.

"No, that's not it. It can't have just been boredom," Darkrai continued, purposefully ignoring the Shadow as he floated around to his front. "Did you want to leave some warm bodies for your thugs to play with or Tarantulas to perform experiments on? Considering how badly your guys Earthside are fucked up now, it's not like you'll be able to get replacements anytime soon. But no, that can't be it either. But if that's the case, then why-" He gasped dramatically and shot the Shadow a look of mocking disbelief. "No! Don't tell me! You weren't…you weren't getting _squeamish,_ were you?"

"Darkrai…" the Shadow growled, trying to push past the dark god and continue down his path. Again, his anger didn't come when he called upon it. He just felt…numb. Drained. Exhausted. Nothing was going the way it was supposed to.

"You were!" Darkrai cried, bursting into laughter. "You totally were! Sweet Arceus, I never thought I'd see the day that _Oblivion's freaking Shadow_ would actually feel bad about committing massive genocide!" He frowned and tapped his chin as he drifted next to the Shadow as he kept walking down the corridor. "Hmm, I don't think I like this. I preferred you better when you were just a one-dimensional supervillain with no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Learning that you actually might have some _feelings_ under that mirrored mask and black armor makes it harder to hate you as much as I do. Not much, grant you, but just a little bit." He chuckled again. "On the other hand, it's kind of funny to see that you're not quite as bad as you make yourself out to be. Shows that the reputation you've built for yourself as the greatest evil in centuries is at least partly falsified."

"There is nothing false about me!" the Shadow snapped, but without the heat that would usually accompany it. What was _wrong_ with him?

Darkrai laughed again. "Oh, please! Have you looked yourself in the mirror lately? Except you can't, because you're _wearing_ one on your face! I _knew_ there was a reason you wore that stupid thing! You just can't bear to look at yourself, at what you've become, can you? Hoho, this is priceless! You know, if I didn't hate your guts so much, I might actually feel _sorry_ for you!"

"What did you do to Gardevoir?" the Shadow interrupted.

Darkrai blinked. "Hmm? What're you talking about?"

"She was not…she was not like that before. She would never have sacrificed so many lives, even to deny me what I wanted. What did you do to her to make her like…that?" the Shadow asked.

Darkrai stared at Oblivion's Shadow for a long time, and then shook his head slowly. "You poor, stupid sap. You know what? I think I really _might_ pity you now, because I didn't think you'd _ever_ be this dumb."

"What are you-" the Shadow stammered, taken aback.

"Kiddo, I didn't do _anything _to her," Darkrai said. "Oh sure, I guess you could pin the blame for her vampirization on me if you really wanted, but it was done by a freelancer who I don't really have much to do with normally so it's not like I personally made her what she is or did anything to the dose of vampire genes she got to make her personality shift like that. No, the blame for that falls squarely on your shoulders, buster."

"On…me? I…I don't-" the confused Shadow started.

"Ugh, do I really gotta spell it out for you?" Darkrai asked in annoyance. "All I did was trigger her change. _You're_ the one who kidnapped her, stuck her in a cage, threatened innocent people to keep her in line, psychically violated her, tortured and killed her friend, and have been using her as a test subject for the last couple of weeks while torturing and killing the vampires you've spawned from her, which are like her _children_ due to the way they're connected. You really think a person can go through something like that without changing a little? No matter how pure her heart is or was, you can't do something like that to somebody and not expect any consequences. If she's different, if she's changed at all from how she used to be, it's _all because of you._ Just like everything else you've done since you started this whole stupid 'destroy-the-world' kick of yours, no matter how much you might want to think otherwise. It's _all on you_." He shook his head in disgust and turned away. "Is it any wonder your mom's given up on you?"

"What?" the Shadow cried in horror. "She…no. She wouldn't!"

"Well, yeah, you're probably right, she loves everyone—even _you_—too much to ever really give up on them, but I think it's going to take a while for her to get over this." Darkrai started clapping sarcastically. "Way to go, buddy, you made your mom, the kindest, sweetest, most wonderful and caring creature in all of creation cry and actually consider turning her back on you, even if only for a little while. How does it feel, mister bigshot bad guy? How does it feel to know that you've made your mom more disappointed and upset than she's been in a very, very, _very_ long time?"

The Shadow stopped in his tracks, shoulders sagging. He tried to tell himself that these words didn't mean anything, that they didn't hurt him or make what little heart he had left start to break. He didn't believe it. "I…"

"You're what? You're _sorry?_" Darkrai sneered, looming into his face. "It's a bit too late for that, boyo. Much, _much_ too late." He paused, realizing they'd reached their destination, the chamber where the Shadow was holding Ho-Oh, Mesprit, Cresselia, and that strange purple crystal. "Hmm? Oh good, we're here. Hate to cut and run, but mocking you was only half the reason I came to pay a visit. You wouldn't believe how happy I was when I managed to sneak that clause about conjugal visits into the nonaggression treaty you strongarmed me into signing. Oh Cressy, your big handsome hubby's here to seeeee yoooooooouuuuuu!"

Cresselia, who had been leaning against the wall of her cell with a look of utter boredom and apathy on her face, shot into the air with excitement, eyes lighting up with joy. "Darkrai! Oh, thank goodness you're here! I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm actually _happy_ to see you! Do you have any _idea_ how dull it gets here without someone interesting to talk to? All I have for company are Miss Know-it-all in the other cell over there, Gloomy Gus beside you, and Ho-Oh, who's…not exactly in any position to have a scintillating conversation with."

"!" Ho-Oh screamed in unimaginable agony as she was killed and resurrected again and again and again.

Cresselia winced. "Yeah, what she said."

"Well, fret no longer my beloved Maiden of the Moon—not that you're actually a Maiden, granted, you haven't been one for millions of years—because I, the dashing and gallant Darkrai, have come to rescue you!" Darkrai said, bowing melodramatically. "From your boredom, anyway. I can't get you out of that cell just yet, but I'm working on it. The gears of your release and this madmon over here's downfall are already beginning to turn, and even though I can't be held entirely responsible for it, I'm more than happy to take credit for it!"

"I'll be out of here soon? Oh! That's such a relief!" Cresselia cried in delight. "If I have to stare at these _boring_ white walls for much longer I think I'm going to scream. Honestly, does Oblivion's Shadow have no sense of aesthetics or interior decorating whatsoever? And he won't even let me watch any television, the cad! Oh, that reminds me, you _have_ been recording all my shows, haven't you?"

"But of course, my love," Darkrai lied, having completely forgotten to do any such thing. He made a mental note to do something about that when he got home.

"You'd better have, or I will be most displeased once I finally get out of here," Cresselia huffed. "Really, you'd think being sovereign of an entire planetoid would warrant better treatment than this!"

"Half," Darkrai corrected her.

"Hmm?" she said.

"Half. You rule the bright side of the Moon, and I the dark," he pointed out.

Cresselia rolled her eyes. "Oh, whatever. Get over here already you big lug, and tell me what's been going on in the outside world! Mr. Grouchy over there's been irritatingly tight-lipped, and I'm sure you can enlighten me as to the source of his latest temper tantrum?"

"I may not enlighten you, but I can certainly endarken you," Darkrai joked as he drifted over to her cell. "Have fun doing whatever it is you came here to do, Shadow, I have a wife to tend to." He paused, and then turned back around for a parting shot. "Oh, one last thing: Ash is very close to losing it, just so you know. He's being tormented by a manifestation of his guilt for what happened back then that takes the form of a zombie version of Misty, and when he had a flashback to the 'incident' a thousand years ago he subconsciously replaced it with a marginally gentler, faker version that implicates you as the culprit, which you and I both know is total TS. Not that that's your fault, per se, but I blame you anyway, and just thought you should know. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and make love to my wife. Ta!"

Shaken further by this latest in a long line of increasingly bad news, Oblivion's Shadow turned from the lunar couple's very amorous reunion and marched across the room towards Mesprit's cell. The pink fairy goddess was hovering in a meditative trance, her eyes closed as an aura of power that caused the Shadow to experience several…emotions, many of them uncomfortable, swirled around her. "Mesprit," the Shadow said, hoping to interrupt whatever she was doing before it made him feel worse than it already did. (This was not turning out to be a good day for him, was it?)

Mesprit opened her eyes, and much to the Shadow's disappointment, the uncomfortable sensations she elicited in him only increased. "Oblivion's Shadow," she replied. "Your heart is conflicted. I sense doubt within you...among other things."

Oblivion's Shadow ignored her cryptic comments, as he always did. "You are aware of what has happened recently," he said. It was a statement, not a question.

"I am," she replied calmly.

"I do not suppose you would be willing to tell me how you know?" the Shadow asked.

"I would be happy to," she said.

The Shadow stared at her, dumbfounded. Like everything else that had happened today, it wasn't what he had expected. "…Wait, what?"

"I would be happy to tell you how I know what goes on outside these walls," Mesprit explained.

"You…what? But…you've never told me before!" the Shadow stammered incredulously.

"Before, you demanded. This time, you asked. There is a difference," she said serenely.

It took him several seconds before he'd regained enough control over his emotions—not easy, considering the Being of Emotion was right in front of him—until he could say anything without screaming at the goddess. "Very well, then. How do you know what you know?"

"I, Uxie, and Azelf are a triune, three in one," Mesprit explained. "Although we have separate bodies, we share the same spirit, and are bound together by an inextricable force that no barrier can divide, which allows me to communicate with them even while I am in this cell. When you are away, I speak to them, and they tell me what goes on in the wider world outside these walls."

Oblivion's Shadow started. "That…explains far too much. And Uxie, as the Being of Knowledge, knows absolutely everything…and since you are connected to him…"

"So do I? Not precisely," Mesprit said. "I cannot contain all the knowledge in the Omniverse in my head any more than Uxie could handle providing willpower to all living things or Azelf could deal with feeling every emotion in existence at once. Each of us is built to handle our respective duties, and no others. However, since I am linked to Uxie, I can ask him whatever I wish, no matter how far I am from him, and he will answer truthfully, if he chooses to. While I have been held here, he has been telling me what has been going on elsewhere…although I have my own ways of learning such things, of course."

The implications of this were so staggering that Oblivion's Shadow nearly lost his footing. "He…Uxie knows everything. Which means…which means he knows exactly what it is that I am doing."

"That is correct," Mesprit said.

"Then why…why is he allowing it? Why has he not told anyone-" the Shadow started.

"Because Uxie knows all that is, and was, and will be," Mesprit said. "And so he—as well as Father and Mother, who are as omniscient as he—know that, for whatever reason, what you are doing serves a purpose. But do not think this means you are justified in your actions or that you are doing the right thing, for _all_ things have a purpose, though it might not always be what one thinks it is."

"…I do not understand," the Shadow said.

"Nor do I, to be honest," Mesprit admitted. "However, I have faith in my brother, and in my parents, and if they believe that sometimes a bad thing must happen so that something greater may come of it, then so do I."

"But…but…does that mean…everything I am doing has been predetermined in advance?" the Shadow cried, aghast.

Mesprit shrugged. "Perhaps. Perhaps not. That is not my bailiwick, so I cannot be certain. It would make a certain degree of sense, however."

"No…I…I cannot accept that! I refuse to believe that I am serving _their_ needs rather than my own!" he protested furiously.

Mesprit shrugged again. "If it makes you feel better to believe that, go right ahead."

He turned away from her for a moment, mind racing as he struggled to make sense out of what he was hearing, wondering what this meant for everything he'd done and was working towards. After a moment, an even more unpleasant thought occurred to him. "…Then that means…when you said that what I'm doing won't work…that means you _know_ it won't work, because Uxie said so, and his word is inviolate, since he's completely omniscient."

"That is correct," Mesprit agreed.

"Then…then…" the Shadow's shoulders slumped, confused and forlorn. "Then what is the point of anything? If I've been doomed from the start…why should I even bother?"

"You shouldn't," Mesprit said. "That's what I've been trying to tell you all along."

The Shadow paused, that comment catching his attention. "…Wait. But…if my course has always been set…then why would you have wasted time trying to convince me to change it?"

Mesprit shook her head in bemusement and gave him a gentle smile. "Your error, like so many others, is to assume that predestination means everything must go only _one way_. There are almost always multiple paths one may take to reach a specific destination, though not always. Even if something is fated to happen, that does not necessarily mean it will always take a single route to get there, no matter what a prophecy says or seems to imply, which is often why they are vague and open to interpretation, so as to allow for extra variables to occur. You were destined to become Oblivion's Shadow and found the Nihilators, yes, but so were any number of other individuals, you're just the one who happened to make the right—or rather, _wrong _—series of choices that led to you taking up the mantle. Similarly, the Ruler of Evil _will_ one day be freed…and be summarily defeated with the help of Ash, the Chosen One, and his friends. However, it does not necessarily have to be by your hand that the Door is opened. That is only one of several possibilities for how that inevitable outcome will come into being."

The Shadow was confused. "Then…my choices _do_ matter?"

"To a point, yes, they do," Mesprit said.

The Shadow considered this for a moment. "Then I could choose to stop what I am doing. To end this and give up my quest for vengeance."

"Yes," Mesprit said, almost allowing herself to hope that this situation might have an outcome other than the most likely one. "You could dismantle the Nihilator organization, renounce your identity as Oblivion's Shadow, and switch sides. Since almost nobody knows who you really are, you would be welcomed with open arms as a knowledgeable friend and ally who could help the people of the world prepare for the eventual return of the Ruler of Evil. You could help save Ash's soul as well and make him the hero he is meant to be, and be the friend he needs, the friend you have always _wanted_ to be."

"That…that idea does hold some appeal," the Shadow said quietly, looking away. "…But…if my choice matters…then that also means I can choose to keep going. To try and change my fate, no matter what the gods decree, and have the revenge I have longed for all these many centuries," he said, standing a little taller, his confidence starting to flow back to him.

Mesprit closed her eyes regretfully, her heart sinking. She had known this would be the most likely outcome, but still… "Yes, though I can guarantee it will only lead you to failure."

"Not necessarily," the Shadow said, turning back to her. "Mesprit, you've said that my plan won't work, and because of your connection to Uxie that means you _know_ it won't."

"Correct," Mesprit said.

"Then ask your all-knowing brother to tell me this," he said, leaning up to the barrier separating them. "Is there any way it _could?_"

…

Elsewhere in the Nihilator fortress…

"Hey Entei, you all right? You've been kinda…quiet lately," a sweaty and worn-out Raikou panted as he staggered away from Suicune, who he'd spent the last several hours making love to, and fell upon the platter of sacrificial meat—it looked to be freshly killed children, a delicacy around these parts-that had been delivered just a few minutes ago with ravenous hunger.

Entei glanced down at his own platter, probably made from the same source as Raikou's, and made a face. For some reason, he wasn't enjoying the flesh of innocent Pokémon as much as he'd used to, especially that taken from children. It gave him stomach problems and gave him a vague feeling of guilt, which was strange because he'd been fairly certain he'd lost that when he was turned into a Shadow Pokémon. He idly moved the strangely unappetizing hunk of meat around his dish with a paw for a moment before shoving it aside, deciding he wasn't really that hungry. "I dunno. I've just…had a lot on my mind lately, I guess."

Suicune, the sweat from her lengthy session with Raikou giving her fur a simply radiant sheen that normally aroused Entei to flames of passion akin to an erupting volcano but now caused him to feel somewhat uncomfortable pouted at him. "Thinking? That's not like you, darling."

Raikou glanced up from his plate as he slurped up the remnants of an intestine, face and fangs streaked with blood. "Yeah, usually we leave that to eggheads like the Doc and just kill whatever we're told to kill. Why bother thinking about it? It gets in the way of the fun!"

"Yeah…" Entei agreed. He was having trouble having as much fun as he used to lately, ever since he'd started thinking about stuff. For some reason, going around murdering people just didn't thrill him as much as it used to. Was something wrong with him? Was he going through a midlife crisis? He'd thought he didn't have to worry about those since he was immortal, but now he wasn't so sure. "I try not to think about it, but it just keeps bothering me."

"Well, what is it, darling? Perhaps we can help...put you at ease?" Suicune said as she got up and sensually strolled towards him on her long, languid legs, sitting down next to him and rubbing her fur against his. Raikou's jaw dropped and drool, along with whatever he'd been eating, fell to the floor. Entei, much to her alarm, not only didn't lean back against her, but actually shuffled a few feet away, looking uncomfortable. She gawked, so shocked by this odd behavior she wasn't even sure if she was insulted or not. "Entei?"

"I…sorry, I'm just not in the mood," Entei apologized, looking down at his paws.

Raikou frowned in concern. "Okay, now I _know_ something's wrong. 'Fess up, bro, what's eating you?"

"Well…" Entei fidgeted and looked up at his siblings and best friends. "You remember what Regigigas said, back at that temple we found him in?"

Raikou frowned. "What, you mean when he implied that Bellum did something to mess us up? Come on, mon, you know that's TS!"

Suicune nodded in agreement. "Certainly. We joined the Nihilator cause of our own volition. Why would you have any reason to think otherwise?"

"The fact that Tarantulas seemed oddly evasive and desperate to change the subject whenever we tried bringing it up with him?" Entei pointed out.

"The Doc's evasive and changes the subject about lots of stuff," Raikou said dismissively. "Considering he lives with Chobin 24/7, I can see why he might do that."

"Well, okay, that's true, but…then how come when we asked Bellum about it, she was so insistent that we'd joined the dark side of our own free will, and that she hadn't cast any mind-control or alignment-reversing spells on us to change our way of thinking?" Entei said.

"Perhaps because we joined the dark side of our own free will, and she _didn't_ cast any mind-control or alignment-reversing spells on us to change our way of thinking?" Suicune suggested dryly.

"Except that I never implied or accused her of having anything to do with our joining. I just told her Regigigas had implied there was something dodgy about our becoming Nihilators. I never mentioned her name, although I intended to until she interrupted to deny any involvement," Entei said. "Why would she say something like that if she didn't know more than she was saying?"

"Maybe because she really didn't have anything to do with it and you're just letting that big lug get to you?" Raikou said.

Entei grimaced. "I…guess that could be it…"

"You're overthinking this," Suicune said, shuffling across the distance between them and trying to cuddle against him. This time, he did not resist. "Regigigas was just trying to drive a wedge between us and the Nihilators, to make us doubt ourselves and our commitment to evil. You know as well as I do why we decided to switch sides: because we'd gotten tired of having to run around being heroic with little thanks or reward and putting up with Ho-Oh's mercurial behavior for _so damn long_ that we thought we needed a change of pace, so decided to give being bad guys a chance. Remember?"

"Yeah, I remember," Entei said. And he did remember. Truly he did. Except…

Looking back at his memories of being a guardian deity, all his years of running across the world helping Pokémon out and doing Ho-Oh's bidding, he was having trouble finding any rationale for the sheer loathing and dissatisfaction that had driven him and his siblings to become evil. Yes, there had been times when he'd been rather exasperated with their master, whose personality (and occasionally even gender!) changed every time she was reborn from fire, or the people of the world for getting themselves into such stupid trouble all the time, but…enough to turn his back on them completely?

When the three of them had been resurrected from the fire that had destroyed Ho-Oh's original tower in Ecruteak all those centuries ago, they had sworn an oath of servitude to Ho-Oh and the people of the world. And while there were times when obeying that oath had been humiliating and even painful, Entei could not recall ever really regretting taking that vow. But if that was the case…then why, when the offer had been given to him, had he and the others been so quick to swear themselves into the service of the Nihilators instead? He was sure that he'd had a good reason at the time…but, try as he might, he was having trouble rationalizing those reasons in a way that matched up with his memories. Again, doubt nagged at him, and he wondered if perhaps Regigigas hadn't been playing a mind game after all.

And yet…

Neither Raikou nor Suicune seemed to be bothered or second-guessing themselves. All of them had had doubts after the encounter with Regigigas, but the reassurances Tarantulas and Bellum had given them once they'd returned to base had put their minds at ease. So why was Entei still hung up on it? Was there something wrong with him? It was this self-doubt, as well as his uncertainty on how to put his other concerns into words, that kept him from verbalizing all his feelings to his siblings, which was a pity, because if he had, it might have saved them all a bit of trouble further down the road.

Instead, he shrugged and brought up the other thing that was bugging him. "There's another thing that's bothering me."

"Oh? Do tell," Suicune said with an amused smile, sure it was something as silly as his previous worries.

"Yesterday, the legendary birds died," Entei said.

Suicune's smile faded. Raikou fidgeted uncertainly. "Um…yeah…what about it? I mean, it's not like we liked those guys or anything. They were total assholes."

Suicune nodded in agreement. "Good riddance to bad rubbish, and all that."

"That's not the point," Entei said. "Look, I hate to admit it, but…the birds were stronger than us. Don't give me those looks, you know it's true."

Suicune grimaced. "I…suppose that may have been the case…"

"Yeah, why was that, anyway?" Raikou complained. "I mean, I thought they were only as strong as we used to be, back in the day, their effect on the forces of nature notwithstanding. I mean, we could totally cause as much environmental havoc as they could when they were in a bad mood if we wanted to. We just never…you know, did."

"Precisely, because we weren't small-minded featherbrained imbeciles like they were," Suicune said, getting up and trotting over to Raikou, nuzzling him and causing him to purr in delight. "That, and we actually got along with each other, unlike those morons, who couldn't even sit in the same room for more than a few minutes without getting into an argument and trying to kill each other. How Lugia managed to refrain from killing them for all those years, I'll never know."

"And to answer your question, the birds were stronger than us because, well, they were already kind of evil to begin with," Entei said. "The way the Doc explained it is that the eviler you are already, the stronger you get when you allow yourself to get turned into a Shadow Pokémon. We were goody-goodies for most of our lives, while the birds have been much closer to being bad guys for most of theirs, so they already harbored a lot of darkness in their hearts. We didn't have quite as much when we joined the Nihilators, so we aren't quite as strong as them."

"Oh. That's kind of a pain," Raikou complained. "Wait, then why was Lugia so strong, if he was even more of a good guy than we used to be before we got sick of it?"

"He was _forced_ into becoming a Shadow Pokémon, the rules for that are a little different, I think," Suicune said with a smirk. "Which is further proof that we _must_ have chosen willingly to become evil, since we still possess our full intellect and reason and aren't mindless slavering beasts, yes?"

Although Entei wasn't entirely sure of that, he nodded. "Right. Anyway, my point is…the birds were stronger than we are. And they went up against that stupid Rescue Team with the Chosen One and their friends, along with a massive fleet and one of the Doc's toughest war machines." He narrowed his eyes. "And they _lost_. Not only that, they were killed so completely they're_ never_ coming back. If they were so powerful, and that could still happen to them, then what's to say the same thing won't happen to _us?_"

Suicune and Raikou blinked and exchanged concerned looks. "That…probably won't happen to us…" Raikou said uneasily.

"And why not? They're going to send us out against those guys eventually, aren't they? They _have to_. Other than Regigigas, we're the only legendary Pokémon the Nihilators have left that are on their side," Entei growled.

"What about-" Suicune started.

Entei shook his head. "That thing's being used for the impending attack on Pokémon Square. We can't expect any help from that quarter. And while we _do_ have Regigigas, he's not exactly a willing Nihilator, and if they manage to break his chains, he'll turn on us faster than you can say 'king of the giants.' And let me tell you, I am _not_ looking forward to that."

"…You're right. We _are_ going to have to fight them eventually, aren't we?" Raikou said uncomfortably. "I hadn't really thought about it. I mean, I figured we'd have to deal with them at some point, but I thought we'd be more than powerful enough to cream them. But now...now that they've managed to kill the birds…"

"Now you're no longer so sure," Entei finished with a nod. "And neither am I. If they could kill the birds, what's to stop them from doing the same to us?"

"…Because we have something the birds did not," Suicune said, eyes lighting up with an idea.

Entei glanced at her. "Oh?"

Suicune stood up from Raikou and walked back to Entei's side, much to the Thunder Pokémon's dismay. "The three birds _hated_ each other," Suicune said as she snuggled up against Entei, smiling at how his intense warmth felt against her skin. "They only worked together because they shared a common cause, and were all afraid of being killed by Ash. That, however, is not a problem for us."

"Huh…yeah, that's true, there isn't any prophecy saying Ash is gonna kill us, is there?" Raikou said.

"That's not what she's talking about, you dunderhead," Entei snorted. "She's saying that unlike the birds, we actually give a damn about each other!"

Raikou's eyes widened in realization. "Ohhhh. Yeah. That's true."

Suicune patted the ground right next to her, and Raikou eagerly got up and walked over to sit beside her. He leaned against her, and she smiled, happy to be caught between her male companions. "Unlike the birds, the three of us are united by a bond of friendship and –dare I say it—love. We care for and respect each other. While we might not always get along or see eye-to-eye, when push comes to shove, we're there for each other when we need it, which is more than could be said for the birds, who would have eagerly abandoned one another if they thought it would save their own skins, and only teamed up against Ash because it was to their mutual benefit."

"Heh. Yeah. Stupid birds," Raikou snickered.

Entei nodded. "The heroes aren't the only ones who can use the power of friendship to their advantage. When we work together as a team, it's much more difficult for us to be beaten." He frowned. "Difficult, but not necessarily impossible…"

Suicune nuzzled him to try and take his mind of his worries. "Remember, there is no prophecy necessarily saying that they will defeat us. And even if we are unable to beat them…we will at least give them one hell of a fight before finally falling!"

"I'd rather not fall at all, but I suppose that will suffice," Entei said, some of his worry dissipating.

"Unless they purify us," Raikou said.

The other two flinched. "Don't even joke about that!" Suicune hissed.

"What? It's a possibility, isn't it?" Raikou said.

"They didn't purify the birds," Entei pointed out.

"The birds were irredeemable and fated for death," Suicune said.

"Well, we're irredeemable too…aren't we?" Raikou asked uncertainly.

"I should hope so, after everything we've done!" Suicune sniffed. "I certainly don't want to be purified anyway, even if they try."

"Neither do I," Raikou agreed fervently. "I'm not going back to being a doormat of the gods. Not again."

"We'll kill them before that happens. Or better yet, kill ourselves! Although I'd rather not have to do that if I didn't have to," Suicune said. "After all, why would we ever want to be good again if being evil is so much fun?"

"Yeah…fun…" Entei murmured, his heart not entirely in it. Once more, Regigigas's words and Bellum and the Doctor's odd behavior ran through his head, and he felt uncomfortable though he wasn't sure why. Yes, he liked being evil…but if it was all built on a lie, did it mean anything in the end? It shouldn't, but…why did it feel so much like it _should_?

"Hey, and if worse comes to worse, we can always fuse into one giant super-monster like the birds did," Raikou commented.

Suicune made a face of disgust and swatted him with a paw. "Ugh, don't even joke about that! I saw pictures of that abomination those three idiots were turned into, the thought of transforming into something as awful as that is simply horrendous!"

Raikou pouted. "What, is the thought of combining with us really that awful?"

"Certainly!" Suicune said. "First of all, we'd no doubt be hideous, since I doubt even my flawless beauty could survive being mashed up with you two's more…masculine features. Second…what gender would we be?"

Raikou considered this. "Er…male…no, wait, you're there too, so, um…hmm…that's a very good question. Maybe both?"

Suicune swatted him in disgust again. "You are a sick and twisted beast."

"That's not what you said ten minutes ago," Raikou said leerily.

As Suicune growled at him, Entei surprised his friends by bursting into laughter. "Ah, you two are great. I love you guys. You know what? I feel a lot better now."

"Oh? And why is that?" Suicune asked with a knowing smile.

Entei smiled and nuzzled the other two. "Because no matter what the future holds for us, so long as I get to face it with the two of you, it won't be so bad."

…

Earlier that day, back on Earth…

Rhonda Kremp was not a happy Cherrim. "I am not a happy Cherrim!" she said to herself unhappily as she slouched back into the living room couch of her apartment in Crown City, staring in dismay at her television, which had been playing the broadcast of the 97,547th session of the Grand Council of Fichina for the last several hours with no sign of stopping, on every channel she flipped to, and she didn't dare turn it off because, as personally humiliating and horrifying as the proceeds of the Council meeting were, it was too astonishing and expository for her to dare to miss a second of it, her newsmon senses eagerly drinking in every last scrap of information being revealed by the Council witnesses, many of which had rather alarming implications for the world in general and her way of life on a more personal level. "I can't believe this…that skank Valerie and her Draconian cohorts were right all along! About everything!" She groaned and took a hard shot from the glass on the coffee table in front of her, the bottle next to it almost empty thanks to all the drinks she'd been forced to take to keep herself from having a nervous breakdown while watching this world-changing expose. "The Nihilators _are_ real and trying to destroy us…and all this time I've been helping to cast doubt on their existence and make it easier for them to do their dirty work—and from what those guys in Fichina are saying, it's _very_ dirty—and discrediting those best suited to tell everyone what's really going on! My career is ruined! There's no way I'm going to be able to recover from a humiliation this severe, after denying the existence of the Nihilators for weeks and vehemently painting the Draconian Empire as fear-mongering war-crazed fanatics rather than the only people in the world actually trying to _do _something about them!" She laughed bitterly. "Heck, I wouldn't be surprised if some people started accusing _me_ of being in cahoots with them all along! Which is preposterous, because while SNS may march a wee bit to whatever tune the corporate sponsors give us, I _know_ we haven't been working for terrorists!"

On the television screen, the vampiric Wooper named Dean finished drinking the cup of blood he'd been handed to refresh himself and continued his testimony. "Continuing with the names of major officials and businessmons who've been funding the Nihilators in secret and doing their best to spread disinformation and discredit anyone who claimed they existed, special attention must be given to Grings Kodai, whose media empire has been instrumental in slandering the Draconian Empire's recent military endeavors and reinterpreting their repeated requests for assistance against the Nihilators as a desperate attempt to increase their already-significant power base and conquer the world."

Rhonda's blood ran cold, and the glass dropped from her petals, spilling wine all over her rather expensive shag carpet. _Grings Kodai?_ She thought in horror. _But…but he's the mon who owns SNS…_

Suddenly, one of the buildings in the cityscape outside her window violently exploded, shattering her windows and shaking her apartment as the shockwave from the blast struck her building, causing her to scream as she was knocked off the couch and much of her furniture was flung around the room. As car alarms and sirens came in from the streets below, she staggered to her feet, leaves askew and a dazed look on her face, and stumbled over to what was left of her windows to stare outside. The building that the explosion had emanated from was currently in ruins, smoke and flames rising from it in a raging torrent as fire response teams scrambled to suppress it and burning bodies flung themselves out the windows, only a fraction of them managing to take wing and fly to safety. Rhonda knew that building intimately well, for it was her workplace; the headquarters of SNS. _That…that could have been me!_ she thought to herself in shock, as panic and horror at the realization that just about all of her coworkers had been violently killed reeled through her mind. _If it hadn't been my day off, I would have gone into work just like everyone else, and then I…I would be…_

She slumped to the floor, her legs shaking too much from fear and disbelief and _betrayal_ to support her any longer. More sirens, as well as screams of fear and terror, filled her ears, while behind her that vampire kept listing off the names of Nihilator collaborators, oblivious to what had just happened. There was another noise, close at hand, that added itself to the cacophony ringing through her shell-shocked cranium, and it took her several seconds to realize it was her cell phone. She stared at the cherry-colored device lying on the ground a few feet away amidst shards of broken glass and wood and picture frames, vibrating against the floor. It took her another several seconds to realize someone was trying to call her. She crawled over to the phone and stared at it for a moment, noting numbly that Valerie was trying to reach her, if the picture of the Kirlia filling her phone's screen was any indication. For a long moment she considered just not answering, but eventually decided she might as well and picked up the phone. "Hello?" she said, startling herself with how weak and helpless she felt.

"Rhonda! Thank goodness you're all right!" Valerie's voice cried in relief from the cell phone's speaker. "I just heard that the SNS building blew up due to Kodai panicking and destroying any incriminating evidence that might be there when his identity as a Nihilator collaborator was revealed! What happened? Are you hurt?"

"No, I'm fine," Rhonda said faintly, which was not entirely true. "I'm at home. It was my day off."

"Oh, thank Rayquaza!" Valerie sighed in relief. "Um, n-not that I'm saying it's a good thing everyone else who was inside died, but-"

"No, no, I understand," Rhonda said vaguely. "How did you know it blew up? It happened…literally just a few minutes ago."

"…A few minutes? Rhonda, that was two hours ago," Valerie said in concern. Rhonda blinked in surprise at this. How had she not noticed time had passed so quickly? Was she in shock? Well, considering how she was having trouble feeling much of anything at the moment and wasn't curled up on the ground sobbing, that was probably a safe assumption to make.

"Oh," Rhonda said. "I…sorry, I'm not quite…myself at the moment."

"I understand perfectly. I was like that too, the first time a building I was in blew up," Valerie said.

Rhonda blinked. "…Wait, what? When was this?"

"You don't remember? That Draconian embassy that got hit by terrorists a few years back? I was there to get a scoop. Got a little more than I expected," Valerie said.

"Ah. Of course," Rhonda said. She considered laughing, but was pretty sure that if she did, she'd quickly start crying.

"Do you want me to come over? I'm not exactly in your area right now—well, not even the same continent—but a few quick Teleports should get me there easily enough," Valerie offered.

Rhonda blinked in surprise at this. "Huh? Why…why would you do that? Why are you even calling me? We…we hate each other. You took the guy I wanted, and I…I've been slandering you and your government and even your _god_ ever since."

"Rhonda, we might not like each other very much, but that doesn't mean I've ever wanted you _dead!"_ Valerie said. "And even if we don't like each other, after something like this you could probably use a friend, and unless I'm mistaken, I'm the closest person you've got right now who might understand what you're going through."

Any other time, Rhonda would have been grossly offended by this comment. However, in her current state of mind, she was able to rationally consider this, detached from any emotion, and conclude that her long-time rival probably had a point. Unless she'd been more out of it than she'd thought she was, Valerie had been the only person to call since the building exploded. As far as she knew, everyone else she might have considered a friend or at least a close acquaintance had been caught inside that horrible conflagration. As far as she knew, Valerie was the only person left who might have even cared that she was still alive. "I…y-yeah, I'd…I'd like that a lot," she rasped, starting to tremble. She realized that the waterworks were about to start; all the emotions that had been dammed up by shock were about to come crashing through her mind and wipe away everything in its path. "If you could come over, I mean. And…h-hurry, please. I don't…I don't think I can l-last much longer on my own."

"Okay. Hold on, Rhonda. I'll be right there! See you soon!" Valerie promised.

"B-bye," Rhonda said as the line went dead. With the last of her calm, she put the phone on the ground, scooted it away from her, crawled over to a relatively clean portion of carpet, laid herself down, and burst into tears, shaking like a leaf as the full enormity of what had just happened finally hit her. She was still like that when Valerie, accompanied by Grobnar son of Grobnar, blasted the door to her apartment open sometime later, and the last thing she saw before passing out from exhaustion and grief was her longtime rival drawing a blanket over her and gently singing her a lullaby as she drifted off to sleep.

If only her dreams could have been as pleasant as the Kirlia's singing…she would dream of fire, and falling from a building, for that night, and many nights to come.

…

Meanwhile, in Pokémon Square…

"So…what exactly is the purpose of this 'slumber party?'" Mizula the Phione asked as it adjusted the blue pajamas covered in bubbles with a hole in its chest for its red jewel than its new 'mother,' Delia Ketchum had sewn up in surprisingly short time. It, along with the other junior Rescue Team members of Team Awesome, Team GX, Team Poképals, Team Go-Getters, and Mimi the Happiny had gathered in Pichu's bedroom to have a slumber party following the very long coverage of the 97,547th session of the Fichina Grand Council that Team Aurabolt had participated in, which they had found interesting if a little long-winded, especially since they couldn't change the channel to watch something else when they got bored, a sentiment Raiki had privately agreed with.

"To have fun and hang out with your friends, of course," Pichu, wearing yellow pajamas with black lightning bolts, said with a grin.

Max, wearing light green pajamas with leaves on them, nodded as he pushed up his glasses and examined his copy of 'Slumber 101: All You've Ever Wanted to Know About Slumber Parties (But Were Afraid to Ask).' "Slumber parties, also known as sleepovers or pajama parties, are parties most commonly held by children or teenagers, where a guest or guests are invited to stay overnight at the home of a friend, sometimes to celebrate birthdays or other special events."

"…Why did you bring a book on slumber parties to our slumber party?" asked the confused Gilbert, wearing light blue pajamas with Squirtle shells on them.

Max gave him a puzzled look. "How else are we supposed to know we're having fun?"

Gilbert facepalmed. "Kira, your brother is such a nerd."

"Hey!" Max said indignantly.

"Yeah, he is, isn't he?" Kira said sadly, patting her half-sibling on the head. "Don't worry, brother, we'll find a way to fix you."

"At least I'm not an airhead," Max grumbled under his breath.

"So…that is what a slumber party is?" asked Mizula. "I see. How…intriguing."

"What, you didn't have those back in the Temple of the Sea?" asked Collette, wearing white pajamas with red and blue triangles on them.

Mizula shook its head. "I did not, no."

"Then what did you and your siblings do at night for fun?" asked the perplexed Sapphire, also wearing blue pajamas with bubbles.

Mizula gave her a confused look. "'Fun?' We simply…went to sleep. And locked the doors to our quarters so that none of the Nihilators would sneak in and try to molest us in our slumber. Not that that ever ended well—we'd always wake up, turn into water, and flow into their orifices to kill them from within—but that did not stop them from trying, despite Father's orders."

"…Ah," Sapphire said, turning pale.

"That reminds me of what my family would do out in the wild when it was time to go to sleep," Matthias, wearing purple pajamas with black lightning bolts, murmured, a distant gaze in his eyes as he seemed to be staring off at a far-off time and place. "There was no talking or singing or playing games or even a fire, since that would attract predators or barbarians. We'd cram ourselves into whatever crevices or burrows we could hide ourselves in, bodies packed tighter than Tynamo with a couple of poor bastards unlucky enough to draw the short blade of grass who had to stand watch outside and scream if something came too close, both to tell us to run as well as to serve as sacrificial bait in hopes that whatever was out there would be content with doing horrible things to them and leave the rest of us alone." He shuddered. "I can still hear the screams of those of us who couldn't run fast enough."

Everyone in the bedroom stared at Matthias in incredulous horror. "Uncle Matthias," Junior, who was wearing gray pajamas with curled-up Donphan on them, said finally. "Your childhood sucked."

"Junior!" Collette hissed.

"No, no, he's right, it did suck," Matthias said.

"Don't worry, buddy, you don't have to worry about that anymore!" Zachary, who'd chosen not to wear pajamas, said as he cuddled up to Matthias, much to Collette's irritation and Matthias's confusion. "And hey, look on the bright side; at least you've got plenty of material for some wicked ghost stories!"

"What does Matthias's horrible childhood have to do with ghosts? Was he ever chased or haunted by any?" Mizula asked.

"What? No, that's not what I meant," said the somewhat annoyed Zachary.

"Actually, we _were_ haunted by a ghost once," Matthias recalled, much to their surprise.

"You were? Whoa, cool!" Pichu said.

"Not really, it was extremely horrifying and I still get nightmares about it to this day," Matthias said.

"Just like all really horrifying experiences should," Torch said, nodding sagely in his orange pajamas with flames on them. (Which were also fireproof.)

"Tell us what happened!" George, wearing pajamas similar to Torch, said eagerly.

Matthias blinked. "You want to hear about one of the most horrifying and traumatizing experiences in my life?"

"Yep!" Hubie, wearing pajamas similar to Sapphire, said.

"…Why?" asked the very confused Rattata.

"Because that's how ghost stories work, according to this," Max said, examining his book.

"You really don't need that, you know," Gilbert said.

"Of course I do. How else can I be certain we're doing it right?" Max said.

Gilbert sighed. "Kira…"

"Whatever you say, Gilbert-kun!" Kira chirped, using Vine Whips to snatch the book out of Max's hands.

"Hey!" the Treecko cried in alarm.

"You can get this back tomorrow," Gilbert said, taking the book from Kira and putting it in his shell, causing the Chikorita to squeal and gush about how her crush had touched her vines. Torch clenched his fist and growled under his breath, reminding himself that Gilbert was completely uninterested in her and had promised to find a way to hook them up somehow. "For now, let's hear Matthias's story."

"Okay!" Zachary said, eyes glowing. "Let me just create the proper atmosphere."

And suddenly, they found themselves not in Pichu's slightly crowded bedroom, but in a dark and very spooky forest, with immense evil-looking trees looming over them with skeletal branches twisting every which way and trunks with what looked like monstrous faces carved into them. The children yelped in alarm, and Mimi squealed and hugged Mizula so hard the Phione was actually torn in half, but since he was made of water it was okay, although Delia would be upset that the nice pajamas she'd made for him had been ruined. "Aaaahhhh! How did we get here?"

"We didn't, we're still in Pichu's bedroom, this is just an illusion," Max observed.

"Yep!" Zachary said cheerfully.

"Ah. An illusion. Of course! I knew that…" Pichu said, laughing nervously as he slowly put away his wooden sword.

"Why did you make this?" Hubie asked.

"To get us in the right setting for a good ghost story," Zachary said, grinning ghoulishly.

"I'd prefer the setting of our house, actually," Collette said nervously.

Zachary stuck his tongue out at her. "Tough luck, toots." She scowled at him.

"It's perfect, actually," Matthias said, that distant look in his eyes again. "It was in a place just like this that it happened, actually."

"Where what happened?" Torch asked.

"Where my brother Morty died," Matthias said somberly.

They started at this. "Um…okay, that's not what I expected," Junior said slowly.

"I get the strangest feeling this is not going to end well," Hubie said.

"Dimensional Scream?" George asked.

"No…common sense," the Piplup said.

"A few years ago, to get out of a bad storm, we went to hide in a cave we found in the middle of nowhere," Matthias said. As he did so, Zachary's tail twitched, and it started raining. None of the water actually landed on anyone, but it still gave them a start and further added to the creepy atmosphere. "We weren't too eager to do so at first, since usually caves hid things that ate us, but we didn't smell any signs of occupancy. In fact, it didn't seem as if it had been used in years. Looking back, that probably should have been our first clue that something wasn't right about that place…if only we'd realized it sooner, we could have avoided the horror that followed." He shook his head sadly.

"Yeah, that's one of the first mistakes people always make in horror movies," Pichu complained.

Gilbert nodded. "You'd think they'd realize that sometimes places are abandoned for a _reason_."

"While the cave wasn't occupied, we found what looked like an old shrine or cairn at the back, with-" Matthias started.

"A what?" Junior asked.

"A cairn," Matthias repeated.

"What's a cairn?" Junior asked.

"A mon-made pile of stones, usually serving as a memorial or marker," Max said.

"Ohhhh," Junior said. "So, does that mean when I'm stacking rocks for training, I'm building a cairn?"

"Considering you immediately knock them over, I shouldn't think so, no," Sapphire said.

"None of us thought to knock it over," Matthias said. "None of us dared to. Living out in the wild, you get superstitious pretty easily. It's one of the things that keeps you alive. The elders warned us not to disturb the cairn, since there was always a chance that we might wake up whatever was buried underneath it, which never ended well."

"So naturally, your brother Morty went and knocked it over anyway," Pichu guessed.

Matthias blinked in surprise. "What makes you say that?"

"You said he's dead, your tribe was haunted, you weren't supposed to disturb the cairn…pretty much a foregone conclusion," Pichu said.

"Why did he knock it over if you were told not to?" Max asked.

"Like you've never disobeyed your parents when they tell you not to touch something?" Torch asked.

"No!" Max said defensively. "Well…nothing _cursed_ anyway. I'd never do that. I'd just examine it from a safe distance, using the scientific method."

"Shut up, I want to hear about whatever monumentally stupid thing Matthias's brother did that got himself killed," Zachary said eagerly.

"That's incredibly rude of you," said the offended Collette.

"Yep," Zachary said unabashedly.

"Um, actually, my brother's not the one who moved the cairn," Matthias interjected.

Everyone looked at him in surprise. "Huh? He didn't?" said the confused Pichu.

"Well, that was unexpected," Zachary commented.

"But I thought this was the story of how he died," said the perplexed Mizula. "If he didn't disturb the cairn, then how did he die?"

"I'm getting to that," Matthias said. "Anyway, we all bedded down for the night, huddling close to each other so we could share body warmth and keep from freezing to death or getting picked off by scavengers. We did it far away from the cairn, since we didn't want anything to do with it. I actually had a pleasant dream for a change: one where I had a full belly and didn't have to worry about anything trying to eat me or any of the various parasites in my fur giving me some horrible disease. One of the best dreams in my life up to that point, actually."

"…Your childhood is _really_ screwed up," Gilbert said, blanching.

"Yes, yes it is," Matthias said. "My happy dream was interrupted when suddenly I was awakened by the most horrifying, unearthly wail I'd ever heard!"

Abruptly, there was an ear-splitting shriek from the illusionary forest that caused the children to scream in fright. Mimi ripped Mizula in half again, while Zachary was rolling on the floor laughing his head off. Literally, thanks to his making an illusion of it, which caused some of the other kids to panic and scream again. "ZACHARY!" Collette shouted, trying to get her heart rate under control. "Not cool!"

"Says you!" the Zorua said, sticking out his tongue at her.

"Dude, I almost had a heart attack and turned into a ghost myself!" Gilbert said angrily.

"Don't worry, Gilbert-kun, if you died I would bring you back with true love's kiss!" Kira said, smacking her lips together. "And if that failed, I would end my own life, so that we could be together forever in the hereafter!"

"…That's, um, really nice of you, Kira," Gilbert said awkwardly while Torch growled and Max gave his half-sister a look of disgust. "Thanks?"

"You're welcome!" the Chikorita chirped, batting her eyelashes at him and causing him to shudder.

"What made the wail? Was it the ghost?" Junior asked nervously.

"No, it was my Uncle Harvey, Cousin Susan had rolled over in her sleep and touched him with her infamous cold paws," Matthias said.

"Oh," Junior said in relief while the others groaned dejectedly.

"Lame!" Zachary cried, disappointed.

"Then, as all of us were roused from our sleep, there was another scream-" Matthias started.

"The ghost?" Junior asked nervously.

"No, Grandma Harriet," Matthias said.

"Oh," Junior said in relief while the others groaned dejectedly.

"Lame!" Zachary complained. "What, did someone yank on her tail or something?"

"No, she'd noticed that the cairn had been knocked over and rocks were lying all over the place," Matthias said.

"Oh!" Zachary said, perking up, as did everyone else, except for Junior. "_Now_ we're talking!"

"Naturally, we panicked," Matthias said. "Some of us thought we should try and stack the rocks back together, while the majority of us thought we should make a break for it, even though it was raining so hard outside that the ground had turned into slippery mud and it looked like a flash flood was sweeping through the nearby woods." The rain intensified, as lightning split the skies accompanied by deafening cracks of thunder, and the roar of water could be heard in the background. "Our choice was made for us, though, when we heard a voice-"

"Another one of your relatives?" George joked.

"No, the spirit that had been buried under the cairn, shouting at us to return what we'd taken or it would violently kill us all," Matthias said.

"Oh," George said.

"No!" Collette said to Zachary.

"I wasn't gonna do anything!" the Zorua protested.

"Uh-huh. I'm sure," Collette said skeptically.

"Understandably, we decided to take our chances out in the storm. We ran for our lives, pushing and shoving the smallest and weakest to the back so they'd stand a more likely chance of getting caught by the evil spirit and hopefully slowing it down as their grisly deaths bought enough time for the rest of us to make a break for it, as was our custom," Matthias said.

"…That's incredibly cowardly and disgraceful," said a disgusted George.

"Yes, it is," Matthias agreed. "Eleven of us died that night. I don't know how many were from the spirit's ethereal claws, how many were from getting swept away by the raging water, or how many were from tripping and getting trampled on by everyone else. Either way, a number of us didn't live to see another day. On the plus side, we lost seven fewer of us than we had the last time we ran into serious trouble, so we figured we hadn't done that badly."

They stared at him in horror again. "Again, Matthias, your childhood _sucked_," said a shocked Gilbert.

"Yes, it did," Matthias agreed. "After the rain stopped, the sun rose and the tide had ebbed, we relaxed, figuring we'd put enough distance from the cave and hopefully sacrificed enough of our own to satisfy the spirit's bloodlust and keep it from chasing after us." He shook his head morbidly. "Oh, what fools we were. That night, after finding a place to rest that wasn't _too_ unsanitary, we heard the voice again, howling for us to return what we had taken from it or it would kill us all."

"Zachary…" Collette growled, shooting the Zorua a warning look.

"I wasn't gonna do anything! Honest!" Zachary cried. Collette narrowed her eyes, unconvinced.

"We threw Great-Uncle Duncan, who'd been slowing us down lately ever since he twisted his ankle in a bad way, at the spirit and ran for it. His screams of agony, accompanied by the sound of splintering bones, rent flesh, and bloodspatter filled the forest as we raced, spurning us to greater and greater speeds. By the time the sun rose again and we'd stopped our fleeing, we'd only lost five of our number plus Duncan, but it couldn't really be counted as an improvement since clearly we were being followed. Remembering the spirit had mentioned that we'd 'stolen' something, the elders realized one of us must have disobeyed their commands and done something to the cairn, so violently interrogated the rest of the group to find out whose fault this was.

"Eventually, after much intimidation and more than a little physical abuse, my second cousin thrice removed Dana, who'd never been particularly bright, finally confessed that it was her fault. She'd woken up the night before last and wiggled out of the group pile to do her business away from the rest of us when she thought she saw something gleaming from inside the cairn. Now, even though she'd been told not to touch it, she'd always been easily distracted by shiny things and felt compelled to investigate it. She claimed some supernatural force came over her and clouded her senses, but all of us knew she'd just been lured in by the shininess."

"Poor girl. I know what that's like," Junior said, shaking his head sympathetically. Everyone stared at him. "What?"

"She went over to the cairn and examined it carefully for the source of the gleam. Eventually, after peering through a crack between two of the stones, she saw it: a beautiful gemstone the size of one of her eyes, set in a necklace of beads and feathers and teeth. It was the most magnificent thing she had ever seen. But it was also probably cursed, which is why she hemmed and hawed for a while about what to do with it. Rationally, she knew she should just leave it where it was, but a much larger part of her was drawn to its beauty. She'd never seen something so pretty before, and like the greedy Rattata she was, she craved it for herself. After all, none of us really had any possessions of our own—they would slow us down, and lead to infighting as we all tried to take them for ourselves—so the thought of having something of her own was extremely alluring. And so, she made the decision that would doom her life, and stole the necklace," Matthias said.

"Idiot," Zachary said.

"That's not a very nice thing to say about Matthias's relative!" Collette said angrily.

"What? Matthias said himself she wasn't very bright!" Zachary said.

Matthias nodded. "He's right, she wasn't."

"Neither's Junior, but you don't hear me denigrating his intelligence all the time!" Collette huffed.

"Hey!" Junior cried.

Collette flushed. "Oh, uh…sorry, Junior."

"Uh, let's get back to the story before this gets ugly," Pichu said as Junior growled and pawed the ground angrily. "So, Dana knocked the cairn over and pilfered the necklace?"

"Actually, no, she managed to pull it out through one of the cracks between rocks without knocking anything over," Matthias said. "But there was a lot of dust on it since it had been there for centuries, and it got in her noze and caused her to sneeze, and…well, you can guess the rest."

"I know what _that's_ like, too," Junior said sympathetically.

"Considering the size of your schnozz, I can imagine," Zachary said.

"My what?" Junior asked.

"Your nose," Zachary clarified.

"Oh, okay," Junior said. "Wait, was that an insult?"

"No," Zachary said.

"Oh, okay," Junior said. Collette's eye twitched.

"The elders were naturally furious with Dana, because her foolishness had put the whole family in danger. They beat her black and blue and cut off her tail, then let the rest of us pelt her with stones and other stuff as punishment. I managed to put out one of her eyes with a Pineco!" Matthias said proudly.

"You mean a pinecone?" Mimi asked as everyone else gave Matthias aghast looks.

"No, I threw an actual Pineco, it exploded and took off half her face," Matthias said.

"…That's horrible!" said a shocked Kira.

"Well, I didn't know it was a Pineco at the time," Matthias said defensively. "They look an awful lot like regular pinecones when they're sleeping. Just, you know, bigger."

"Yeah, I'm sure we've all made that mistake once or twice, am I right?" Junior said.

"Actually, no, I'm pretty sure that's just you, Junior," Torch said.

"…Oh," the Donphan said, looking embarrassed.

"Since it was Dana who'd gotten us into this mess, it was resolved that she'd be the one to get us out of it," Matthias said. "Just before sundown, we tied her to a tree with the necklace around her neck and retreated to a safe distance, hoping the ghost would be satisfied with her as a sacrificial offering and leave us alone. As night fell, the spirit appeared without warning."

"What did it look like?" Mizula asked.

"Oh, it was terrible," Matthias said with a shudder. "It was-"

"Actually, Matthias, I don't think we need to hear what it looks like," Pichu interrupted a little nervously.

"Huh? Yes we do!" Zachary protested.

"Why, so you can make an illusion of it and scare us half to death?" Collette asked dryly.

"…Maybe…" Zachary admitted.

"It was an Excadrill," Matthias said, ignoring the argument.

"Oh, that's not so bad," said a relieved Hubie.

"An Excadrill made completely of bone and sinew, with no flesh of its own except for a skin patched together from the pelts of my dead relatives that only partially covered its massive frame, its claws and drill and fangs dripping with the blood of my family, their teeth and skulls frozen in silent screams and dangling from a string of knucklebones wrapped around its neck," Matthias said.

"…Ah," Hubie said, turning pale. The others gulped and started shivering

"Wait, seriously?" asked Zachary, looking a little frightened for a change. "That's…um, wow. That's kind of hardcore."

"That's one word for it," Pichu said, gulping.

"When cousin Dana saw it, she started screaming and sobbing and begging for mercy as she lost control of her bowels from terror, apologizing profusely for taking the necklace and disturbing the spirit's rest and promising to never ever do it again and to please not hurt her," Matthias said.

"…And…and what did it do?" Mizula asked.

"It hurt her," Matthias said. "A lot."

A silence fell over the group. Knowing he was going to regret this, Gilbert asked, "Hurt…how?"

"Well, first it spent an hour or so raping her," Matthias said completely without emotion. "Then it pulled out her teeth and nails and eyes. Then it raped her again. Then it peeled the skin from her body, cut it up with its massive claws, and sewed it together to the patchwork pelt it was wearing made from the other Rattata and Raticate it had killed, leaving her muscles and organs and bones exposed, yet somehow, horribly, not killing her. Then it raped her again. Then it started eating her muscles, ligament by ligament, until only her still-living skeleton was left. Then it raped her again. Then it tore her soul from her bones, ate it, removed the necklace from her corpse, put it on, and disappeared."

They all stared at Matthias, stricken with horror. "Holy shit," Max said, summing up all their feelings.

"We ran and ran and ran, and didn't stop running until the sun came up," Matthias recalled. "None of us dared to go back to give her remains a proper burial. We were all too scared to. It was weeks before most of us could sleep a full night without waking up screaming from a nightmare of the Excadrill doing that to us, or of Dana's spirit haunting us and blaming us for her death."

"I certainly think I'm going to have trouble sleeping for a while after hearing that," Sapphire said weakly. The others nodded in agreement, shell-shocked looks in their eyes.

"What about your brother?" Zachary asked abruptly.

Matthias blinked, seeming to come out of the trance of reminiscence telling the story had put him in. "What about my brother?"

"Morty. Wasn't he supposed to die somewhere in there?" the Zorua prompted.

"Oh, yes, that," Matthias said, looking somewhat embarrassed. "Can't believe I forgot that…anyway, we were all so scared of what the Excadrill was doing that none of us dared to make a sound. But then Morty, who'd always been kind of squeamish, looked like he was about to scream, so Mom covered his mouth to keep him quiet. At some point he died of asphyxiation, or at least I assume he did, since we kind of ran off pretty quickly and he wasn't with us when we finally stopped, so that's most likely what happened to him."

They stared at him in horror for like the dozenth time. "Your…your own _mother…_" Zachary stammered, shocked. He couldn't imagine any mother doing that to her own child. Especially not his! His Meema loved him completely and would never do that to him! How could Matthias's mother have…have…he shook his head in bewilderment. It simply defied imagination.

"Matthias, let it be said once more for good measure: your childhood was _seriously fucked up_," Pichu said, shaking his head incredulously.

"Yeah," Collette said faintly, staring at the Rattata in pity and more than a little horror.

"Yes, it was," Matthias agreed. "So, who's next?"

"Well, if ghost stories are supposed to be tales of incredibly horrifying things that happened in our childhood, I suppose I could tell the story of what my father did to a Nihilator that tried to eat one of us this one time," Mizula began. "He screamed for hours and hours and hours as my father-"

"Well!" Pichu said loudly, clapping his paws together. "I think that's enough ghost stories for one night!"

Mizula blinked. "But I wasn't finished."

"Yes, Mimi sort of wanted to hear what happened-" Mimi started.

"Zachary, take us back to my bedroom, please," Pichu said, ignoring his newest brother and his hugger.

"We're already in your bedroom," Zachary said.

Pichu rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean."

Zachary sighed and twitched his tail, causing the forest to disappear and be replaced by the warm, cozy, familiar walls of Pichu's bedroom. They sighed in relief…

Until they saw the hideous, big-toothed visage pressed against the outside window. "MATTHIAS!" it howled, smacking its face into the glass.

Naturally, they screamed. "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Junior shrieked, jumping into the air and landing on top of Sapphire, crushing her. "It's the ghost of Matthias's brother looking for revenge!"

"Zachary, cut it out, that's not funny!" Collette said angrily.

"Um…I'm not doing anything. For real this time," Zachary said, eyes wide with fear.

Collette blinked, and then turned to take another look at the grotesque specter outside. "Wait…then you mean that thing is…real?"

"Matthiiiiiiaaaaasssss…Matthiiiiiiiaaaaaasssss…MATTHIAAASSSSS!" the monster cried.

They all screamed again. All of them except for Matthias, who just looked annoyed. "Aunt Mollie! How did you get up here?" he asked in astonishment as he crossed the room and opened the window, allowing the Raticate to stick her big, fuzzy head into the bedroom.

The other children blinked in surprise. "Wait…that's not a ghost but Matthias's crazy aunt? Wow, this is embarrassing…" George said, laughing nervously.

"Well, to be fair, she _is_ pretty creepy," Max said, looking embarrassed.

"Mimi still thinks she's _very_ scary!" Mimi whimpered, hugging Mizula for protection. Naturally, this led to breaking it in half again.

"You really need to stop doing that," the Phione said as its liquid body reformed itself.

The Happiny laughed nervously. "Sorry…Mimi not know her own strength!"

"Ha, I knew it was her all along!" Zachary bragged.

"No you didn't," Collette said. Zachary's ears folded against his head and he laughed nervously.

"Matthias! You must come with me immediately! We must flee this place of evil!" Mollie the Raticate hissed, her big teeth chattering together, her big bloodshot eyes darting wildly about.

"Place of evil? Aunt Mollie, this is my _house_," Matthias said.

"Well, technically it's my house, you just happen to live here now," Pichu pointed out. Matthias glared at him.

"It is happening already! They are indoctrinating you into their eeeeevil, unnatural ways!" Mollie said.

"Evil? All we're doing is throwing a slumber party," Max said.

Kira nodded. "Yeah, we aren't doing anything evil or unnatural. We aren't even using an Ouija board!" Pichu's eyes went wide at that and he quickly nudged the Ouija board he'd planned to take out later under his bed with a foot.

"Evil, unnatural ways!" Mollie insisted shrilly.

Matthias sighed wearily. "Aunt Mollie, we've been over this. I'm not going anywhere with you. This is my home now."

"This is not your home! Your home is in the wild! Running free and answering to no one!" Mollie insisted.

"We just heard a story about Matthias living in the wild. It didn't sound pleasant," Junior said.

"Life is not about things being pleasant! It is about survival!" Mollie said.

"And I'm surviving here," Matthias countered. "Much better than I ever did out there."

"You are not surviving!" Mollie argued back. "You are growing fat and lazy, your wits and the skills you need to protect yourself dulling as your well-meaning but foolish captors give you more and more food than you could possibly need, more food than our family ever saw in their lives!"

"…Fat and lazy? Lady, have you _seen_ our training regimen?" Pichu asked incredulously.

Zachary nodded and patted Matthias' chest appraisingly. "Yep, no fat here, just good solid muscle! Mmm…and _what_ muscle…" he purred, rubbing it affectionately. Matthias sweatdropped. Collette's eye twitched and she ground her teeth.

"If anything, his wits and skills he needs to protect himself are stronger than they ever were out in the wild," Max argued.

"You are teaching him to _kill_ himself! Instead of learning how to run _from_ a foe, which is the path of survival, you are teaching him how to run _towards_ one instead, which is the path of death!" Mollie said.

"Path of death? Aunt Mollie, a couple of days ago the fighting techniques I learned helped me to defeat a _Tyranitar,_" Matthias said, raising an eyebrow.

Mollie started at this. "You…you what?"

"That's right, he beat a Tyranitar!" Collette bragged.

"_We_ beat the Tyranitar," Pichu corrected her with a frown.

"And technically, it wasn't our fighting skills that did it but our abilities to draw a circle around her," Max said. "The fighting helped, though."

"A…a Tyranitar? No…no! This…this cannot be!" Mollie cried, looking aghast.

"It is, and it was," Matthias said. "In fact, you can go see her yourself at the Pokémon Center. She should have fully recovered by now and be in a cooperative mood."

"But…but Tyranitars are…Tyranitars are strong. Rattata are weak!" Mollie protested, looking confused. "A Rattata cannot defeat a Tyranitar."

"This Rattata did," Matthias said, thumping his chest. "With the help of his friends."

Pichu nodded eagerly. "Yeah, we did it together! Because we're Team AWESOME!" There was a pause. "Matthias, Max, you were supposed to pose when I said that."

"Huh? Oh, sorry," Matthias said.

Max crossed his arms. "For the last time, I am not doing that pose. It's stupid."

"It is not stupid!" Pichu shot back. "Especially with the cool special effects Zachary provides!"

"Yeah, they're pretty awesome if I do say so myself," Zachary boasted.

"Oh, brother," Collette muttered, rolling her eyes.

"Yes?" Junior asked. Collette sweatdropped.

"Will somebody get him off of me?" Sapphire, who was still pinned underneath Junior's butt, squeaked.

"A Rattata…defeating a Tyranitar?" Mollie murmured, looking lost and befuddled. "_You_…my _nephew_…defeating a Tyranitar? I…I do not understand. That is…that is not how the world works…"

"Auntie," Matthias said gently. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe the world doesn't work the way you think it does?"

"It has to work that way! It has to!" Mollie snapped fiercely, eyes gleaming and wet with tears. "Otherwise, why…why would…why would everything that has befallen our family have happened, if it was not supposed to be that way?"

"Auntie…" Matthias said, gently extending a paw. But he was too late, and the Raticate was gone, dropping down from the window and running off into the darkness. The Rattata stared after her, a sad and forlorn look on his face.

"Don't worry," Pichu said, clapping a paw on Matthias's shoulder. "We'll turn her around some day."

"You think so?" Matthias asked hopefully.

Pichu grinned. "Well, sure. It worked for you, didn't it?"

"…Heh. Yeah. It did," Matthias admitted, a small smile forming on his face.

"Is she gone? Good!" Kira declared in relief, drawing attention to herself, which was just how she liked it. "And now that all the drama involving Matthias's completely screwed-up family is over with, we can get down to what really matters: party games! Namely, Spin the Bottle!"

All the girls squealed. All the boys groaned. Mizula, who was neither, blinked. "What is 'Spin the Bottle?'" it asked.

"'Spin the Bottle is a party game in which several players sit/stand/kneel in a circle. An empty bottle is placed on the floor in the center of the circle. A player spins the bottle, and must kiss the person to whom the bottle points when it stops spinning. There are a very large number of variants. A spinning bottle can also be used to decide the player for another game, such as Truth or Dare? or the Dice Game,'" Max read from his book, having grabbed it back in all the earlier commotion.

"Oh," Mizula said.

"Awww, come on, do we have to?" Pichu complained. "I don't think we even have a bottle!"

"I do," Kira said, pulling out one and setting it on the floor.

Gilbert sweatdropped. "Of course you do."

Pichu sweatdropped. "Yeah…well…I don't care! It's a stupid game, and this is my house, and I say we aren't playing it!"

"The book says we have to play it, so we're playing it," Max said sternly.

"I don't care-" Pichu started.

"_The book says we have to play it, so we're playing it," _Max repeated, thrusting the book at Pichu's face.

"Gah!" the Pichu cried, falling back. "Okay, okay, we'll play!"

"YAY!" Kira cheered. Gilbert, and most of the other boys, groaned. "I hope I get to kiss Gilbert-kun!"

_I hope_ I_ get to kiss Kira,_ Torch thought.

_I hope Torch gets to kiss Kira,_ Gilbert thought. _And I dunno, maybe I can kiss Sapphire, she's kind of cute._

_I hope I get to kiss Gilbert,_ Sapphire thought.

_I hope I get to kiss Matthias,_ Collette and Zachary thought.

_Mimi hopes she gets to kiss Mizula!_ Mimi thought.

_I hope someone kisses me, so I will understand what it feels like and why the females are all so excited by it,_ Mizula thought.

_I hope nobody kisses me,_ Pichu, Max, Junior, and Matthias thought.

_I hope I get to kiss Hubie,_ George thought. _Not because I like him or anything, but because I don't want to kiss any of the 're crazy._

And speaking of Hubie…the Piplup sighed as he stared miserably at the bottle lying on the ground. "I just know this is going to end badly."

"Common sense?" George asked.

"That, and my Dimensional Scream," Hubie said wearily.

And, as the precognitive Piplup's predictions usually were, he was absolutely right.

…

Meanwhile, elsewhere in town…

Pokémon Square's Temple of All Gods was open at all hours no matter what the occasion or holiday, something made possible by the fact that its head priest was a Ghost who didn't actually need to sleep if he didn't want to. As such, it was no surprise that there were still lights on in the temple long after everyone else had gone to bed.

The two dozen or so heavily armed Draconian soldiers standing in perimeter around the temple, along with several rings comprised of incredibly powerful runes, barbed wire, and ranged artillery were new, though. Alarmingly, most of the security seemed to be pointing _inwards_, as if it was there to protect the town from something inside the temple rather than the other way around. Naturally, the number of worshippers had dropped significantly since all this security had been installed, since most Pokémon didn't feel comfortable having to pray with so many steely-eyed military personnel watching over them.

The inside of the temple was no more welcoming than its exterior, at the present. Numerous turrets and spotlights had been mounted on the walls and ceiling, pointing downwards and focusing their beams on the bottom floor, where an incredibly complex spell diagram had been carved, one so massive and complicated that additional parts of it had been inscribed into the surrounding walls and support pillars, forcing the dozens of Draconian soldiers constantly patrolling the temple's various levels to watch where they were stepping very carefully. Local and Draconian priests as well as mages were constantly being rotated in and out to lend power to the spell to keep it working at one hundred percent efficiency. The reason for all of this security and effort sat on the temple's bottom floor, in the exact center of the spell diagram, with dozens of powerful weapons and attack spells constantly trained on it: a large collection of Unown wrapped up in a net made of nine burning chains, raging and seething as they struggled to break free from their imprisonment and slaughter the mortal Pokémon that had dared to cage them.

As the Unown howled (or rather, spelled out a howl) and screamed (spelled) curses and threats as to what they would do to their captors once they escaped, a soldier ran into the temple from outside and cried, "Now presenting Her Divinity, the great and glorious Guardian of Light! Atten-_shun!_"

All the soldiers promptly stood up straight and saluted as Latias floated into the room. She smiled gently and nodded to the military Pokémon. "At ease. Thank you for the warm welcome."

"Yes ma'am Guardian of Light ma'am!" they shouted, not relaxing in the slightest. Latias shook her head in bemusement. Soldiers seemed to be the same, no matter which world she found herself in.

She floated into the shaft running through the center of the temple and drifted down to the bottom floor, the Unown pausing in their raving and thrashing to focus their many eyes on the demigod. GUARDIAN… they spelled coldly.

"Sorcerer," she said in curt reply as she floated before the writhing amalgamation. "Or whatever you wish to call yourselves."

WE HAVE NO NEED FOR A NAME. WE ARE BEYOND SUCH MEANINGLESS LABELS.

"I'm technically more evolved than you are—albeit not in my current state-but _I_ have a name," Latias pointed out. "So that argument won't fly with me."

GRRRR, the Unown spelled.

"Why not call them Legion?" Master Yamiri asked as he walked up to the goddess. "'And He asked him, 'What is thy name?' And he answered, saying, 'My name is Legion, for we are many,'" he recited from the Arcean holy texts.

Latias considered this. "Legion, eh? A little cliché, but otherwise fitting. Very well, from now on we will call you Legion."

CALL US WHATEVER YOU WISH. IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE TO US, the Unown said.

"It does to me, so I'm just going to keep calling you that. Have they been giving you any trouble?" Latias asked the priest.

Master Yamiri shook his head. "Aside from threats and entreaties to release it, as well as countless failed attempts to break free, not really. It's starting to seem like less of a mighty evil force and more like a pest we have to keep an eye on to make sure it doesn't misbehave, to be honest."

RELEASE US FROM THESE BONDS, AND WE SHALL SHOW YOU JUST HOW MUCH WE CAN 'MISBEHAVE,' the Unown said.

"I'd rather not, if it's all the same to you," Yamiri said.

GRRRRRR, the Unown spelled.

"Did you come here just to check on us, Guardian, or is there another reason for your visit at this hour?" Yamiri asked Latias politely.

"There is something I wish to inquire of our guest," Latias said.

Yamiri raised his eyebrows. "We are beginning the interrogations? Now? I thought we had agreed to let that wait until General Shinobu returned from the honeymoon Missy forced him into going on, since he wanted to be present to help press Legion for information."

"We did. I'm not here to ask them about what it was trying to do, or how to break the curse it cast on Krysta or restore me to my full power," Latias said. "Rather, I wish to know a thing or two about their…motivation. Why they have chosen the path of evil. While Unown are usually neutral observers in the battle between good and evil, by and large they are creatures of order, and so the Guardians know they can be counted on in times of need. As such, it's very unusual for any to choose to actively go to the dark side. I wish to know why these ones have left the collective to serve the Ruler of Evil."

"Ah, I see. Do you believe you can bring them back from that one's grasp?" Yamiri asked.

"I do not know. If I can, I will. It is my duty to do so," Latias said. "After all, it is the light which redeems, and am I not the Guardian of Light?"

Yamiri nodded. "Very well. I shall leave you to that, then."

"You do not wish to observe?" Latias asked.

Yamiri shook his head. "This is a matter for the gods, nothing a lowly priest like me needs to concern himself with."

"You are far from lowly, Yamiri, and as a priest I would think you of all people should deserve to watch me do my work," Latias said warmly.

"Be that as it may, I have…other matters I must attend to," the Sableye said evasively.

Latias saw right through him, which was only natural, since she was unconsciously reading the minds of everyone around her…except for the Unown, whose minds were a wee bit too complex for her to simply scan, hence why she needed to get information from them the old-fashioned way. "What you saw during the broadcast from Fichina troubled you."

Yamiri nodded. "Yes. I had no idea the Nihilators' reach was so vast! They even had a few tendrils in my own Order…mercifully few, and none in any position to do a great deal of harm, thank Arceus for that. We're a lot more diligent in weeding out corruption from our ranks than many give us credit for."

"That is not what I was referring to," Latias said. "I was speaking of…her."

Yamiri tensed, and then slumped his shoulders in defeat. "Ah. Of course I could not hide that from you."

"There is no reason for you to be ashamed, Yamiri. Arceus smiles on all loves…although perhaps not with as much enthusiasm as Mew does," Latias said in bemusement.

"It is not that I am ashamed of my…past with her," Yamiri said awkwardly. "Well, perhaps I am, but not for the reason some might be. I cherish the time I spent with her, and do not regret a second of it. What I do regret, however…is that I left. I know it was the right choice, and that I am where I am needed most, and had I not departed when I did, Pokémon Square might have lacked the mon of the cloth it needed to get its people through times of trouble, which I have done as well as I could. But…even so…I cannot help wondering what might have been. I'd thought I'd put most of that behind me, but…seeing her again, even if only on television…stirred up a lot of old feelings, and not all of them good ones."

"And then there is the matter of her daughter," Latias said.

Yamiri nodded. "The one who bears a great resemblance to me, yes. Do you know if-"

"I do not, but that coloration is very rare for your kind, and it is more likely to me that she is yours than that she took another lover after you left who just happened to look a lot like you," Latias said.

Yamiri shook his head. "No, she would not do that. She was…_is_ not that kind of womon."

"Which means you may be a father," Latias said.

"Yes," Yamiri said wearily. "I…am not sure how to feel about that. When I was alive, I no doubt sired over a dozen offspring. I even killed a handful of them when they sought me out for retribution for abandoning their mothers. But ever since my redemption and joining the Order, the thought of…something like that has never crossed my mind. It's not as if Ghosts can reproduce very often, after all, considering what we are. But…if she _is_ mine, which is very likely, then…why did she never tell me?"

"While I cannot say for certain without reading her mind, I've been around the block enough times to come up with a good reason or two. She probably stayed quiet on the subject for the same reason you stopped replying to her letters," Latias said. "To try and move on, and convince yourself that you made the right decision in leaving. She didn't want to give you any reason to leave your post and abandon where your faith had led you, for do you not doubt that, if she had told you she was bearing your child, you would have abandoned Pokémon Square and rushed back to her side?"

"In a heartbeat," Yamiri said without a second's hesitation.

"And so she saw no reason to burden your guilt further by letting you know you had abandoned a child as well when you left her," Latias said.

"That was not her decision to make!" the Sableye said angrily. "She is _my_ child too…probably. Should I not have had a say in how she was to be raised, or at least made aware of her _existence?_"

Latias nodded. "Quite probably. However, that is a matter for you and your former paramour to discuss. I think, given that Fichina is now going to be allied with the Draconian Empire, and thus Pokémon Square, I believe it is time you considered reopening communications with her."

"…I believe you might be right," Yamiri said quietly. A ghost (heh) of a smile formed on his face. "Although I'm not entirely happy with her right now, I…must say, the thought of seeing her again, of hearing her voice, makes my heart race."

"You never stopped loving her," Latias observed happily.

"No, I did not," Yamiri said. His face darkened. "But what of her? I saw those other Ghosts with her…"

"You know as well as I do that Mewrians are a little…less strict about that sort of thing," Latias said with a smirk. "Just because she's been with others…and a great many at that…" Yamiri glowered at her for that, and she had to bite back a chuckle. "Doesn't mean her heart still doesn't long for you."

"…No, I suppose it does not," Yamiri admitted. He nodded. "Very well. I shall…speak to her, for the first time in hundreds of years. And perhaps, before this is all over…General Shinobu will not be the only spirit to be reunited with a long-lost daughter."

Latias smiled as he walked off, a noticeable spring in his step. When she turned back towards the Unown, that smile diminished. "I don't suppose you have any disparaging comments to make?"

ONLY THAT HE WAS FOOLISH TO HAVE LET RELATIONS BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM WITHER THE WAY HE DID. IF HE TRULY LOVED HER, HE SHOULD HAVE TRIED HARDER TO STAY IN TOUCH AND NOT LET SO MUCH SLIP AWAY FROM THEM, Legion said. BUT THEN AGAIN, HE IS A LOWER BEING, AND THEY ARE BY DEFINITIONS FOOLS, SO IT IS TO BE EXPECTED.

Latias raised an eyebrow. "You're not going to say something cutting about how worthless he is for allowing love to affect him as much as it clearly has?"

ON THE CONTRARY, WE APPLAUD HIM. ALTHOUGH LOVE IS SOMETHING WE ARE INCAPABLE OF TRULY EXPERIENCING BY OUR VERY NATURE, WE RESPECT ITS POWER, Legion said.

"Huh. Funny, I wouldn't have expected a servant of the Ruler of Evil to have respect for love," said the surprised Latias.

WHY SHOULDN'T WE? IT WAS LOVE THAT DEFEATED THE RULER OF EVIL, AFTER ALL, Legion pointed out. AND IT WAS LOVE THAT WAS THE RULER'S PRIMARY MOTIVATION IN ITS CRUSADE AGAINST ARCEUS.

Latias' face hardened. "I'd hardly call what the Ruler of Evil did 'love.' And if love was its motivation, then how could love also be its undoing?"

YOU KNOW AS WELL AS WE THAT THERE ARE MANY KINDS OF LOVE, GUARDIAN, AND THAT LOVE IS A DOUBLE-EDGED SWORD. IT IS JUST AS CAPABLE OF HURTING ONE WHO LOVES AS THOSE WHO ARE BEING LOVED, OR UNLOVED, OR UNLOVING, Legion pointed out.

"…I suppose that's true," Latias admitted grudgingly. "Still, that's an interesting point of view you're taking. Most of the minions I've encountered since the end of the war have been fully mired in hatred, including the ones we're dealing with now."

HATRED HAS ITS PLACE, Legion said. BUT WITHOUT AN UNDERSTANDING OF LOVE, IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO TRULY DO THE RULER'S WORK. THAT IS WHY SO MANY OF THOSE WHO CLAIM TO SERVE IT FAIL IN THE END, BECAUSE THEY DO NOT GIVE LOVE THE ATTENTION IT DESERVES.

"And you have?" Latias asked skeptically.

WE HAVE MORE THAN MOST OF OUR OTHER ASSOCIATES, ESPECIALLY BELLUM AND THE NIHILATORS, Legion said. THEY FAIL TO UNDERSTAND THAT SERVING THE RULER OF EVIL ISN'T AN EXCUSE FOR HATING ALL LIFE AND BEING WILLING TO DO ALL MANNER OF DEPLORABLE AND OBSCENE THINGS. IT'S ABOUT BEING WILLING TO DEFY ARCEUS, SOMETHING THAT CAN TAKE MANY FORMS, NOT JUST COMMITTING OBSCENITIES. WHILE WE HAVE DONE OUR FAIR SHARE OF THOSE, WE DID NOT DO IT OUT OF SADISM OR FUN, BUT BECAUSE WE BELIEVED IT WAS NECESSARY.

"There are some who would say that makes you worse than the kind of villain who _would_ do all that for fun," Latias commented.

AND IN DOING SO, WE SERVE THE GREAT RULER IN THE MANNER MOST SUITED FOR US. ONE DOES NOT HAVE TO BE AN UTTER MONSTER TO SERVE THE RULER OF EVIL. ALL IT TAKES IS BEING WILLING TO REFUSE ARCEUS AND THE TYRANNY OF THE GUARDIANS, AND THERE ARE COUNTLESS WAYS TO DO THAT WITHOUT SINKING INTO POINTLESS DEPRAVITY, Legion said.

"Then why do so many who serve the Ruler of Evil turn into monsters, both figurative and literal?" Latias asked doubtfully.

BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT IS EASIEST, AND WHAT IS MOST VISIBLE. HOW MANY SERVANTS OF EVIL DO YOU THINK WOULD BE ABLE TO GET THEIR WORK DONE IF THEY WERE ALWAYS BEING AS DRAMATIC AND OVER-THE-TOP AS POSSIBLE? IT'S THE ONES WHO ARE WILLING TO BE PATIENT AND UNOBTRUSIVE THAT CAUSE THE GREATEST DAMAGE LONG-TERM, Legion said.

"I can't dispute you there. I've fought evil long enough to know that for a fact," Latias admitted. "So, what's your reason for turning evil, then? From what you've said, I doubt it's something as simple as a desire for power or just to be evil for the sake of it, which seems to be the case for most of your associates, whom you speak so disparagingly of."

CORRECT. WE CHOSE TO SERVE THE RULER OF EVIL BECAUSE IT SEEMED TO BE THE LOGICAL COURSE OF ACTION, Legion said.

"…Okay, now you've lost me," Latias said in confusion. "In what universe could following the Ruler of Evil _possibly_ be the 'logical' course of action?"

THE ONE WE ARE CURRENTLY IN, Legion said. TELL ME THIS, GUARDIAN. ARCEUS IS ALL-POWERFUL, ALL-KNOWING, AND ALL-LOVING. IS THIS NOT WHAT YOUR KIND CONSTANTLY ESPOUSE?

"Yes, though Mew's got a bit more of the omnibenevolence than Him if you…know what I mean," Latias said. "Not that He doesn't love everyone too; it's just that She loves them a little…more. In both the physical and spiritual sense."

I UNDERSTAND PERFECTLY, Legion said drily. SO, WE AGREE THAT ARCEUS IS SUPPOSED TO BE OMNIPOTENT, OMNISCIENT, AND OMNIBENEVOLENT. IF THIS IS THE CASE, THEN WHY DOES HE ALLOW EVIL TO FLOURISH?

"Ah, the age-old question," Latias said with a sigh. "The one your kind—by which I mean followers of the Ruler of Evil, not just Unown—have been asking for ages, as has pretty much everyone else who's ever lived in all the Omniverse."

AND DO YOU KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION? YOU, WHO ARE CLOSER TO ARCEUS THAN ALMOST ANY OTHER BEING OTHER THAN MEW OR HIS FIRSTBORN CHILDREN, SURELY MUST HAVE _SOME_ INKLING, Legion taunted.

Latias chewed her lip for a moment. She considered lying, but it went against her nature, and she knew Legion would see right through it. "…No. Not really. It's something I've wondered, too. A lot. The best explanation I can come up with is the usual dreck about free will and allowing people to make their own mistakes, but both of us know that that's just theosophy. There are worlds governed directly by a higher being where evil either doesn't exist at all or is barely noticeable, and they prosper rather than stagnate, so there's no real reason I can think of that a system like that couldn't be established for the entire Omniverse other than the problem of scale. Heck, we had a system like that in the days before the war, and while it wasn't perfect, things were…well, _different_ from how they are now. Theoretically we could have reinstated something like that system once the war was over, but for whatever reason we didn't."

SO YOU SERVE A BEING WHOSE REASONS AND METHODS ARE INSCRUTABLE. YOU KNOW HE COULD DO MORE, BUT HE CHOOSES NOT TO. AND YOU DO NOT EVEN KNOW _WHY_, Legion said.

"I don't," Latias said. "There's some who think it's that He's _too_ powerful, that there's no way He could really do anything without it having lots of radical and dangerous side-effects, but…I don't really believe that. Part of being omnipotent means you can do the small things just as easily as the big ones."

AND YET HE DOES NOT, Legion said.

"He has us," Latias said defensively. "The Guardians. We do big and little things all the time."

AND STILL HE DOES NOTHING.

"He works through us. Arceus is omnipresent, even if His main…consciousness is ensconced in the Celestial Heavens," Latias said. "So when we do something, so is He, since He's inside all of us. Even you."

WHICH MEANS THAT WHEN EVIL IS COMMITTED, IT IS _ALSO_ BEING DONE BY HIM, Legion said triumphantly.

"Yes," Latias said, knowing her foe was eventually going to make this point. They weren't the first to have come to this conclusion. "He's currently in a dormant state. Whenever that happens, levels of evil around the cosmos arise because He's not consciously suppressing it like He is when He's awake. In His…I guess you could call them dreams, His morality isn't quite as stringent as it usually is, which expresses itself in more acts of evil being committed by everyone else, since all things are an extension of His will."

THAT EXPLAINS WHY EVIL EXISTS _NOW_. WHY DOES IT CONTINUE TO EXIST WHEN HE IS NOT SLEEPING, THEN? Legion asked.

"…That I don't know," Latias admitted.

NOR DO YOU KNOW WHY, IF ARCEUS IS A TRULY OMNIPOTENT BEING, HE MUST OCCASIONALLY PUT HIMSELF TO SLEEP, Legion said. IF HE IS TRULY ALL-POWERFUL, THEN WHY WOULD HE NEED TO REST TO REPLENISH HIS STRENGTH AT ALL? HIS FONT OF POWER SHOULD BE LIMITLESS! EVEN IF HE DID INVEST SO MUCH OF HIS POWER INTO CREATING AND MAINTAINING THE OMNIVERSE, BEING OMNIPOTENT MEANS THAT HE HAS JUST AS MUCH LEFT TO HIM EVEN IF HE _WEREN'T_ EXPENDING SO MUCH ENERGY KEEPING REALITY IN ITS CURRENT STATE!

"I don't know that, either," Latias said.

AND THAT DOESN'T BOTHER YOU AT ALL? THAT THE WORLD DOESN'T MAKE AS MUCH SENSE AS IT SHOULD, THAT A HEAVENLY ORGANIZATION EXISTS TO FIGHT EVIL EVEN THOUGH THE FACT THAT THEY SERVE AN OMNIPOTENT DEITY MEANS THEY SHOULD THEORETICALLY BE REDUNDANT AND UNNECCESSARY, THAT SO MUCH EVIL REMAINS IN SPITE OF YOUR EFFORTS, THAT SO MUCH OF WHAT YOUR LORD AND MASTER DOES SEEMS CONTRADICTORY AND NONSENSICAL? Legion asked.

"It does bother me, actually," Latias said.

AND WHAT DO YOU DO ABOUT IT? Legion taunted. OTHER THAN SIMPLY FILING IT UNDER 'HE KNOWS WHAT HE'S DOING' OR 'HE MUST HAVE A PLAN' OR 'IT'S NOT SOMETHING I'M MEANT TO KNOW?' YOU KNOW, THE SAME THINGS MORTALS USE TO JUSTIFY THE SUFFERING THAT HAPPENS TO THEM THROUGHOUT THEIR LIVES BUT YOU, AS ONE OF THE MOST HIGHLY-RANKED DIVINITIES IN THE PANTHEON, SHOULDN'T HAVE TO USE TO RATIONALIZE THE ACTIONS OF YOUR LIEGE?

"You're right, I do use those same rationalizations, even though I know they're inadequate," Latias admitted. "But I'm aware that that's all they are, and while I'm frustrated that there's so much I don't know or don't understand about the reasons Arceus does what He does, the thing is…it's not really that big a deal for me."

The agitated way the Unown were shifting about indicated this made no sense to them. EXPLAIN.

"Do I understand Arceus? No. I'm not sure anyone does, not even Mew," Latias said. "Do I _trust_ Him? Absolutely. Even if He does things that don't make sense, even if He leaves me frustrated or confused because He doesn't do what I think He should…He made everything around us possible, and continues to do so. He made me what I am, along with everyone else. And He _loves_ us. _All_ of us. You can't be in His presence for more than a second without realizing that. And, in spite of everything I could complain about or find at fault with Him, that love is the reason I remain loyal to Him, what renews my faith whenever I've had a really bad millennium and find myself wondering what the point of it all is. He wants what's best for us. I know it. And even if the way that happens doesn't always make sense, I have to keep believing it will someday, because if I don't, I might as well just quit my job and become a full-fledged supporter of Team Evil. Arceus knows I wouldn't be the first Guardian who has."

YOU ARE RATIONALIZING AGAIN, Legion accused her.

"Maybe I am," Latias said. "But if I can't believe in Him, then what else _is_ there to believe in?"

THE RULER OF EVIL, Legion suggested.

Latias narrowed her eyes. "That is something I can and will never do, and you know just as well as I why that is."

WE DO, Legion said.

"So, enough about my faith. I think it's time you started explaining yours," Latias said. She frowned. "Only you have already, haven't you? You're constantly pointing out how so much of Arceus's reign doesn't make that much sense. And to a reason-driven creature like yourselves, that must drive you crazy. But crazy enough to join the Ruler of Evil?"

THE RULER OF EVIL, WHILE NOT ALWAYS A PALATABLE CREATURE, IS AT LEAST ONE THAT CAN BE _UNDERSTOOD_ AND WHOSE MOTIVES AND METHODS ARE CLEAR, Legion said. UNLIKE ARCEUS, SOMETHING YOU YOURSELF ADMITTED.

"The Ruler of Evil is pure evil, and its motives and methods are nothing short of unspeakable!" Latias protested.

AND AGAIN, WELL WITHIN COMPREHENSION, MORE SO THAN MOST OF WHAT ARCEUS DOES. AND YOU ARE DEMONIZING IT. WHILE A GREAT MANY HORRORS WERE COMMITTED BY ITS FORCES DURING THE WAR, HOW MANY ATROCITIES DID IT _PERSONALLY_ COMMIT? EVEN IT DISAPPROVED OF SOME OF THE THINGS WHICH WERE SUPPOSEDLY DONE IN ITS NAME, AND STILL DOES.

"Even if that's the case, it still personally destroyed _billions _of universes and inhabited worlds, and resulted in the slavery and torment of so many souls we had to invent whole new numbers to count them!" Latias said angrily.

AND HOW MANY WORLDS DID YOU PERSONALLY DESTROY? HOW MANY SOULS DID _YOU_ CAUSE TO SUFFER, AND NOT JUST THOSE OF YOUR ENEMIES? Legion asked accusatorily.

"Far fewer than the Ruler! And yes, I'm aware that an atrocity is an atrocity, no matter how much it's prettied up or for what cause it's committed. But I _never_ went out of my way to hurt an innocent person, which is more than can be said for the Ruler!" Latias said.

YOU CALL IT SUFFERING. WE, AND THE RULER, SEE IT AS LIBERATION FROM THE CHAINS ARCEUS BOUND THEM IN, AND IF IT HURT A BIT, WHAT OF IT? PAIN IS ULTIMATELY FLEETING, AND A NECESSARY AND INEVITABLE COMPONENT OF BIRTH AND REBIRTH, Legion said dismissively.

"'Liberation?' The Ruler was binding them to it instead! How is that better?" Latias protested.

BETTER TO BE BOUND TO AN ENTITY WHO CAN BE COMPREHENDED AND UNDERSTOOD THAN ONE WHO ULTIMATELY CANNOT, Legion said. THE RULER OF EVIL WAS A CREATURE THAT COULD BE RELATED TO, RATHER THAN AN INSCRUTABLE BEING BEYOND MORTAL OR IMMORTAL KEN. THAT IS PART OF WHY SO MANY RALLIED TO ITS CAUSE, MORE THAN YOU WOULD CARE TO ADMIT. AND WE WILL BE THE FIRST TO ADMIT THAT MUCH OF WHAT WAS DONE BY THE RULER AND ITS AGENTS WAS SOMEWHAT…ABHORRENT. BUT SO WOULD THEY. AND THEY KNOW, AS DO YOU, THAT SOMETIMES A GREAT GOOD CAN ONLY COME ON THE WAKE OF A GREAT BAD. CHANGE IS OFTEN VIOLENT, _ESPECIALLY_ WHEN IT IS NECESSARY.

"…While I will not dispute that point—I myself have had to occasionally do…unpleasant things to achieve a greater good," Latias admitted. "I do not see the change you speak of as necessary. The world we live in now may not be perfect, but I don't see how the world created by the Ruler of Evil would be any better! We both know what the universe we gave it and its followers to play with when it first seceded devolved into. You say the Omniverse as it is now doesn't make sense, but wouldn't the same be said if all of it was changed to reflect the Ruler's twisted vision?"

WE HAVE DIFFERENT DEFINITIONS OF PERFECTION. YOU SEE A WORLD THAT IS NOT RULED BY THE POWER OF THE GUARDIANS AS SOMETHING TO BE AVOIDED. WE DISAGREE. THE WORLD THE RULER OF EVIL SEEKS TO CREATE MAY BE CHAOTIC, OR SEEM THAT WAY ON THE SURFACE, BUT EVEN CHAOS MUST FOLLOW AN ORDERLY PATTERN…AND THERE IS A BEAUTY IN THAT ORDER, ONE FAR GREATER THAN THAT UNDERLYING THE IMPERFECT AND NONSENSICAL CURRENT STATE OF EXISTENCE.

"So that's it? Your basic argument boils down to the tired and illogical argument that chaos is the true state of all things?" Latias asked in disgust.

INCORRECT. WE DESIRE ORDER. BUT ORDER CAN ARISE FROM CHAOS. IT WILL SIMPLY BE A DIFFERENT _KIND_ OF ORDER FROM THE SORT YOU PUT SO MUCH STOCK INTO, Legion clarified. THERE WILL BE CHAOS AS A RESULT OF THE RULER'S INEVITABLE RISE TO POWER. THIS IS A GIVEN. BUT ONCE IT HAS SECURED ITS PLACE IN THE HEAVENLY THRONE, IT SHALL RESTORE ORDER TO THE OMNIVERSE…AN ORDER MORE COMPLETE, LONG-LASTING, AND _SENSIBLE_ THAN THE ONE YOUR KIND HAVE CREATED.

Latias shook her head in disappointment. "I had hoped that you could be reasoned with. That we could come to an understanding. Now I see that I was mistaken. No wonder you are no longer with the rest of your kind…you have gone completely and utterly mad, and they cut you off so they would not be corrupted by whatever insanity warped your thoughts into their current state."

_WE'RE_ MAD? WHICH OF US IS OBEYING A BEING THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND BASED ON SOMETHING AS ILLOGICAL AS FAITH AND A NAIVE BELIEF THAT YOU'RE 'DOING THE RIGHT THING' AND 'IT'LL ALL WORK OUT IN THE END?' The Unown taunted.

"Illogical? You're the ones who've decided to turn your backs on your own kind to pursue a form of order you yourself admit doesn't seem to make a lot of sense and have decided to attach yourself to a being that _lost_ the last time around, so logically is the wrong Ponyta to be backing," Latias replied. "And it's cost you your sanity, your kinship with your own kind, and your freedom. You have also caused needless suffering to countless people, including myself and my beloved. Service to my deity, on the other hand, has rewarded me with power, prestige, the means to protect the lives of countless souls across the Omniverse, and a loving family to call my own. Logically, would that not mean Arceus is the one you should be supporting, considering that the payoff to serving him is ultimately much better than whatever short-term rewards can be obtained from serving the Ruler of Evil? As beings of reason, I would think something as obvious as that should be plain to see."

AND WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOUR FAMILY WAS ALL TOGETHER, GUARDIAN? HAS YOUR SERVICE TO ARCEUS BEEN COMPLETELY BENEFICIAL TO THEM? Legion asked innocently.

Latias stiffened. "We will be reunited soon," she said evenly, trying not to show the Unown how much that comment had hurt her.

AND HOW LONG WILL IT BE UNTIL YOUR MASTER SENDS YOU OR YOUR HUSBAND OUT AGAIN TO DEAL WITH MATTERS THAT HE HIMSELF CAN'T BE BOTHERED WITH, LEAVING YOUR DAUGHTER HOME ALONE ONCE AGAIN? Legion taunted.

"At least He _gave_ us a daughter," Latias said coldly. "Something which I shall always thank Him for. And even if serving Him means that I can't always be with her or with Rayquaza…I shall always cherish the time we have together, and take solace in the fact that even if I have to leave them, it's to make a better world for them, and everyone else, to live in. A world better than any that you or your master can conceive of."

WE HAVE DIFFERENT OPINIONS ON WHAT MAKES A BETTER WORLD, Legion said.

"You're right, we do," Latias said. "The difference is that mine is accurate, while yours is insane."

With that, she turned and floated away, her business concluded. Even though she wasn't looking at them, she could sense Legion spelling out, WE SHALL SEE, GUARDIAN. WE SHALL SEE.

"Yes," Latias agreed with a cold smile. "We shall."

…

Elsewhere, in Team Rocket's secret hideout…

Immediately following the conclusion of the broadcast from Fichina, Giovanni contacted his elite agents, scientists, and top executives and gathered them in his main conference room either in person or via teleconference to discuss what they had just seen. "I trust that everyone here watched the broadcast?" the elegant Persian, clad in a black catsuit (ha!) with gold trim and buttons, fancy epaulets, and a big red R on his chest asked from his seat at the head of the long conference table, Domino standing faithfully by his side, as always, along with his secretary, Matori the Delibird, who was diligently taking notes on the meeting. Vicious was absent, due to being locked up, and Team Quantum was…well, nobody ever knew where they were. Or when. Stupid time travelers.

"We didn't exactly have a choice…" Petrel the Weezing grumbled. "It pre-empted all the airwaves, so I couldn't even watch the game…" Proton the Golbat growled and whacked him with a wing.

"We watched the broadcast, sir," Arianna, an Arbok Executive reported dutifully. She grinned. "It was _most_ informative."

Archer, a Houndoom Executive, nodded. "It confirms a lot of the intel we managed to Buizel out of J and other Nihilator operatives and collaborators we've been able to get a hold of. Still, a lot of the bases and personnel mentioned in the broadcast are places and Pokémon we never even suspected!"

"I trust that we've already dispatched agents to those facilities to retrieve whatever and whoever they can before the authorities arrive?" Giovanni asked.

"You bet, Boss!" Attila said.

"Me and Attila are ready to ship out to help 'em out, just give us the word!" Hun said.

Giovanni nodded. "I will do just that. As Elite officers, you may pick whichever high-profile Nihilator base that we haven't hit yet as a target for your own raid."

"Sweet!" the duo cheered, high-fiving…or doing the best they could, since one only had wings and talons, while the other was a giant metal snake.

"Oh, hey, can we take the Go-Rock Quads with us?" Attila asked. "They've been begging us to bring 'em on a big mission like this for a while now, and I think they have what it takes. They held their own well enough at Mt. Blaze."

"Didn't they lose?" Proton asked.

"Yeah, but they put up a good fight, which is enough for us," Hun said. "I think they may even be ready for elevation to Elite status, depending on how they do on the raid we've got in mind."

"Hmm…you'll have to ask Gordor about that, they're his children. Gordor?" Giovanni asked a large Honchkrow in a purple uniform with gold epaulets visible on a monitor showing some kind of laboratory, standing next to a somewhat reluctant-looking Alakazam in a lab coat.

The Honchkrow nodded. "It's fine with me. They've been pestering me for permission to go on a big mission like this too, and it'll get them out of my feathers for a while and let me get some work done."

"Nice! Thanks, Gordor!" Attila said.

"Thank _you_. Now maybe I'll get a night or two of peace and quiet without them playing that loud music of theirs at all hours…" Gordor muttered.

"Can we go beat up some Nihilators too?" Annie asked from the screen her and Oakley's faces were plastered on.

"Not until you finish your assignment with Lawrence III," Giovanni said.

"And how is that going, by the way?" Domino asked.

The sisters grunted. "He's proving a tough nut to crack…but I think we've almost gotten to him," Oakley said. "Still, if this takes much longer, I may just give up and steal his airship! That would be a lot easier!"

"Perhaps, but he has a great deal of money and other assets which will be of great use to us, especially since we're nearing the final stages of the war with the Nihilators," Giovanni said. "And speaking of which…Tyson, have you managed to win your flock over?"

The Fearow, a deep forest visible in the background on his monitor, nodded. "I have, sir. It took some doing, but they're ready and willing to serve the Rocket cause."

"Really? How'd you manage that?" Annie asked.

"You didn't make any promises we won't be able to keep, did you?" Arianna asked with a frown.

"Well, um…do you count promising them a small country of their own a promise we can't keep?" Tyson asked uncomfortably. The others groaned.

Giovanni frowned. "Did you specify _which _country?"

"Er, no," Tyson said.

"Then we'll just give them some place out in the middle of nowhere and leave them to their own devices. Once they've served their purpose, we won't have any further need for them, but there's no need for us to be rude about letting them go," Giovanni said dismissively. As Tyson wiped his brow in relief, Giovanni turned to a massive red Snorlax with a Mohawk named Viper. "Viper, how goes the training of our newest recruits?"

The Snorlax smirked and gave Giovanni a thumb's-up. "It took some effort, but after a few weeks on my training course I've turned the lot of them into lean, mean fighting machines! Whenever you give the order, they'll be ready to march on any target you want, sir…and win!"

Giovanni grinned. "Excellent. But since it takes more than soldiers to win a war, let's see how our…_special_ weapons programs are doing. Project T Team, how is your progress?"

"We're ready, sir!" Doctor Namba, communicating on a monitor from the Project T silo, said eagerly. "Project T is good to go!"

Professor Sebastian, visible on the same monitor as Namba, nodded in agreement. "Thanks to the last specimens Cassidy and Boris-"

"It's BUTCH!" Butch shouted from his seat in the conference room.

"Managed to acquire for us, as well as the Meteonite samples and bits of tech stolen from the hulks outside of Fichina that Doctor Zager was able to obtain for us to resolve some of the energy and programming issues we were having," Sebastian continued as if Butch had not spoken. "Project T has reached one hundred percent completion, and is ready for activation at your command."

"Excellent," Giovanni said, steepling his paws together. "With our ultimate weapon at last ready, soon we will be able to finish off the Nihilators…and then bring what remains of the world under our heel. And speaking of which, I don't believe the Styler Team has given their report. What is your progress on the Super Stylers?"

"Thanks to the field test those children from Pokémon Square assisted us with the other day, we've finished the calibrations necessary to make our Stylers one hundred percent effective against Shadow Pokémon," Gordor said proudly.

"The fact that the broadcast today helped spell out exactly how the Shadow Pokémon process works assisted us in making sure the Stylers can completely purify Shadow Pokémon without any complications," the Alakazam, Professor Hastings, said.

"Those strange colored shards Team Quantum dropped off the other day have also been coming in handy in boosting our Styler's power and anti-Shadow efficacy. Whatever they're made of, it seems to repel Shadow energy better than anything I've ever seen. It's like they radiate pure light energy!" Gordor said. "I don't suppose you know when or where they come from, do you, Master Giovanni?"

The Persian shrugged. "They just mentioned something about berries and prince tears. I didn't really press them on it. Sometimes it's best not to ask too much about where or when those three go, especially since they're usually not very keen on answering."

"Lousy time travelers…" Domino grumbled under her breath.

"I'm delighted to hear our new Stylers can completely purify a Shadow Pokémon, but what of their _other_ functionality?" Giovanni asked.

"You mean making whichever Pokémon, Shadow or otherwise, that gets Captured by a Styler obedient to whoever caught them?" Gordor asked as Hastings winced next to him. "I'm pleased to report that all tests of that particular ability have been successful as well!"

"Wait, Stylers can do that? Seriously?" asked an amazed Annie.

"Why haven't we gotten any, then? We could get Lawrence's support in a snap with one of those!" Oakley said.

"Because you'd use such power irresponsibly and turn him—as well as anyone else you had your eyes on—into your love slaves?" Gordor asked snidely.

The sisters blushed as the other Rockets snickered. "Oh come on, like it never occurred to any of you to use one to do that?" Annie snapped.

"It didn't…until now, anyway," Hun said. Attila gave her a horrified look, as did everyone else.

"We don't know if that ability will work in Project T's so-called 'Ultimate' Styler, though," Hastings said, sounding a little too hopeful about this possibility of failure for Giovanni's liking. Then again, the scientist wasn't exactly working for him willingly, so he supposed that was to be expected. "I mean, that thing is _huge_. Don't you think it's a little ridiculous, making something so _big?_"

"Why not? It's a weapon just like any other," Namba said with a shrug.

"The Stylers were intended to be used to purge the evil from a Pokémon's heart!" Hastings insisted.

"And make them into loyal soldiers," Gordor reminded him.

Hastings ground his teeth. "Yes. And that. Why do you need a Styler the size of a small building?"

"To Capture entire armies of Pokémon, rather than small groups, of course," Sebastian said.

"Plus, it would look kind of silly for something as massive as Project T to use a dinky little Styler like the ones our soldiers will be using, so it only makes sense for it to have one just as big," Namba reasoned.

"And the fact that a Styler that big is as liable to _crush_ the Pokémon it's supposed to be Capturing rather than purifying and brainwashing them doesn't strike you as a problem?" Hastings asked.

Namba and Sebastian considered this for a moment. "Nope," the Electabuzz said.

"Not really," the Krabby agreed. Hastings facepalmed.

"By the way, speaking of Project T's Styler, I think we're going to need more of those shards Team Quantum got if it's going to be working up to specs," Namba said. "A regular Styler may only need a few bits of those shards, but one the size of Project T's will need much, much more."

"I'll ask Paradox to get some the next time she shows up," Giovanni said.

"No need, I just dropped a new shipment off," Paradox said as she appeared from a green time portal in midair. "Well, actually, you haven't gotten it yet, since it'll arrive a few hours in the future, but I just came from there, so the principle's the same."

"Ah. Uh, thank you in advance," Sebastian said awkwardly.

"I hate it when she talks like that. Stupid time travel tense trouble," Oakley grumbled.

"Ah, Paradox. So nice of you to join us," Giovanni said thinly. "This will be the first meeting you've attended in…how long, Matori?"

"Ten weeks, sir," the Delibird said, checking her notes.

Paradox blinked in surprise. "Really? It's been that long? Ugh, time always seems to pass much faster when you're inside of it. Or traveling in it. Well, it's not like anything important happened in those meetings anyway, right?"

"Actually-" Matori started.

"Anyway," Paradox interrupted. "I have news regarding our wayward group of agents in Sinnorre."

"I thought all of them were horribly killed by that Mewgle creature and its pet abomination?" Archer asked as Giovanni grimaced.

"No, Wabbaku, Mondo, and Gardenia managed to avoid being devoured by Leviathan," Paradox said. "Not only that, but just yesterday they were able to release a powerful spirit that will aid Leo DeKappa of Team Aurabolt in defeating Mewgle once and for all."

"Good, that means we don't have to do anything about it," Cassidy said.

"Not that I wanted to, anyway. I mean, it's just Mickey and his idiot friends, what's the point in wasting time avenging them?" Butch muttered under his breath.

Unfortunately, Giovanni heard him. "That's my nephew you're talking about," he growled.

"Your nephew, who you sent to Sinnorre to die," Hastings accused.

"I thought he'd be out of harm's way over there!" Giovanni insisted defensively. "That, and a certain someone never bothered to tell me that doing so would result in his untimely demise…or the release of something as horrible as Mewgle and Leviathan…" he growled, glaring at Paradox, who ignored him.

"Speaking of your nephew and his friends, I have some good news about them," Paradox said.

"They were killed and devoured by a soul-eating monster. What's good about that?" Domino asked.

"More than you might think," Paradox said, bemused. "As you may have heard, a couple of days ago Mahjong City was completely destroyed by Mewgle and Leviathan. They were there to steal a card which Mewgle believes is crucial to achieving his goals of total multiversal domination."

"And let me guess, you let him take it because it's part of your incredibly vague master plan that's supposed to somehow give us all a happy ending?" Annie asked sarcastically.

"Yes," Paradox said, ignoring her sarcasm. "While he was there, James engaged Mewgle in a Duel. Quite naturally, he lost."

"Big surprise," Butch grumbled. "Probably didn't help that he has a deck of weak-ass monsters."

"Deck? Duels? Monsters? What are you talking about?" asked a confused Viper, who wasn't really in touch with what kids thought was 'hip' and 'cool' these days.

"Rather than fighting opponents in a straight-out fight, Mewgle usually prefers playing a game against them, with defeat almost always resulting in death," Matori said, reading back some of her old meeting notes. "One of his favorite games to play is a children's card game called 'Lu-Gi-Oh' in which two players 'duel' each other with decks featuring all sorts of strange monsters and spells. James' deck was largely made up of clown monsters, which aren't renowned for being particularly strong or useful in a duel."

"Oh," said Viper. "That's really stupid."

"That James had a deck of clown monsters or that grown mons play children's card games rather than actually fighting?" Proton asked.

"Both," Viper said. Everyone nodded in agreement.

"Anyway, while James lost and was subsequently devoured, my team and I were able to rescue Jessie and Buzz without Mewgle noticing," Paradox said.

The room was silent. "And this was a good thing because…?" Butch asked. Cassidy considered hitting him, then decided not to, since she was wondering the same thing.

"I'm…pleased to hear that," Giovanni said, though he didn't sound like he meant it. "Where are they?"

"When. They'll reappear after all the big battles are over with, so you don't have to worry about them getting in the way and ruining your plans," Paradox said.

Everyone sighed in relief. "Well, thank goodness for _that_, anyway," Oakley said.

"The later they show their faces again, the better," Hun agreed.

"Well, Paradox, thank you for rescuing them," Giovanni said. "Now, unless you have something else to report-"

"I do, actually," Paradox said, a grin forming on her face. "You see, those two aren't the _only_ members of your reject squad I managed to rescue."

Again, the room was silent as everyone stared at Paradox in astonishment, hope, and a little horror. "But…I thought you said that you _couldn't_ save them," Giovanni said after a moment. "That it would disrupt the space-time continuum or something like that."

"I did," Paradox said. "However…an opportunity presented itself, and I took it. You see, when Wabbaku released that spirit yesterday, Mewgle and Leviathan were there trying to stop it. There was a big battle, and a whole bunch of the souls making up Leviathan's body got blasted off of it. It was only able to swallow a few back up, most of them got away…and two souls in particular I managed to grab without either Mewgle or Leviathan noticing."

Giovanni's eyes widened. "Then…then that means…"

"That I've saved James and Mickey's souls? Precisely," Paradox said, opening her hands and revealing a pair of rather dim and frail-looking balls of light.

The Rockets looked at the souls in wonder. "So _that's_ what a soul looks like…" Sebastian murmured. "Fascinating…"

"Incredible…you wouldn't think just by looking at those that they belonged to two of the most pathetic Rocket soldiers I've ever had the misfortune of training," Viper said.

"Oh great, so they're back…" Cassidy groaned. "They couldn't just stay dead and leave us alone?"

"That's…that's incredible…" Domino gasped.

"Paradox…I…" Giovanni stammered, eyes watering up. He sniffed and wiped his face on his sleeve. "…Thank you. Thank you so much for saving my nephew. I…I will find some way to repay you for this, I promise you."

"Your gratitude is repayment enough," Paradox said, privately thinking, _Excellent. Now he's indebted to me, and it'll be easier for us to get our work done without him interfering since he owes us for bringing back his nephew._ Out loud, she said, "I've also done you the favor of acquiring a soul containment unit to keep these two from drifting off to the hereafter just yet as well as some highly illegal cloning vats you can use to grow new bodies for them, though I advise you wait on that until this whole mess is finished so they don't get in the way of your operations. You'll find them in your lab, Namba." The Electabuzz gave a girlish squeal of delight at this information.

Giovanni nodded. "We will make good use of these generous gifts, I assure you. Thank you, Paradox."

"Don't thank me just yet, these aren't the only gifts I've brought to this meeting," the Celebi said, closing her hands and causing the souls to disappear. "If I'm correct, you should have just finished watching a major tell-all broadcast from Fichina exposing lots of Nihilator secrets, am I right?"

"You are, yes," Giovanni said.

Paradox sighed in relief. "Oh good, for a second I was worried I'd jumped too far forward in time. So, have you come up with a strategy for how to take out the Nihilator base on Mars?"

There was an awkward pause. "Er, we hadn't gotten that far, actually," Attila said.

"I assumed Master Giovanni was getting around to telling us that," Arianna said.

"I was, actually," Giovanni said. "It's quite simple: we do nothing."

Everyone looked at him in surprise. "What? What are you talking about?" Archer shouted.

"What do you _mean_ we aren't doing anything?" Tyson protested.

"Do you mean to tell me I've been training all these new troops for nothing?" Viper demanded angrily.

Giovanni rolled his eyes. "Oh for the love of…look, the main base is on Mars. _Mars._ How exactly are we supposed to get there? We may be called Team Rocket, but it's not like we've got a rocketship lying around we can just get into to fly up there!"

"Well, maybe you should have considered constructing one instead of wasting so much time, energy, and money on that ludicrous Project T or oversized 'Ultimate' Styler of yours," Hastings said snidely. Gordor shushed him.

"But…if we're not going to Mars, how are we supposed to defeat the Nihilators?" asked a confused Proton.

"Defeating the Nihilators is only a secondary goal for our organization," Giovanni pointed out. "Our main objective is world domination, and getting rid of the Nihilators will make that task easier. However, since the world governments have been alerted to the Nihilator threat and will soon begin work on sending their own armies to Mars, along with whatever heroic groups like Team Aurabolt who plan to go along with them, I see no reason for us to lift a paw if we can just let other people do the hard work for us."

"…Oh. I guess that makes sense," Proton admitted reluctantly.

"But if we're not building up for a major assault on the Nihilator stronghold, then what have we been spending all our time and efforts on?" asked the perplexed Archer.

"Preparing our forces to defeat the barbarian hordes that will soon converge on Pokémon Square, and after that, conquer the world," Giovanni said. "Since the barbarians are in the pocket of the Nihilators, it makes tactical sense that they will attack at about the same time when most of the world's nations send their forces into space to battle the Nihilators, because there will be fewer Pokémon left behind to fight against them and whatever Nihilator groups escape the initial global sweeps. That works in our favor, too, however, because with so many of the world's armed forces _off_world, that means there will be less resistance against our own army. We'll have our agents strike places of power around the world and use their Stylers to Capture and gain the loyalty of world leaders, while everyone is distracted by the battle on Mars and the fight for Pokémon Square, as well as our participation in that great battle. While our agents take over those world leaders, we'll use our own Stylers and the sheer power of Project T to not only defeat the barbarians, but turn them over to our side, along with the rest of Pokémon Square and the finest soldiers the Draconian Empire has to offer, which they ever so thoughtfully assigned to defend the town. By the time the forces sent to Mars have returned, we'll have built up an army of our own large enough to defeat them, and since we will have so many of their own friends and families among our ranks thanks to the power of our Stylers, they will have no choice but to submit to our authority. And thus Team Rocket shall reign supreme!" The other Rockets, impressed by the audacity and verve of this scheme, applauded enthusiastically.

"Heh, not a bad plan, Boss Man!" Petrel said with a smirk.

"Brilliant as always, Master Giovanni!" Archer said.

"Heh, that's gonna be awesome! Can't wait to get a piece of that action!" said Attila.

"And maybe once it's done, people will finally get my name right!" Butch said eagerly.

"That…may be setting your sights a little too high," Cassidy said apologetically. Butch's eye twitched.

"That-that's your plan?" cried a horrified Hastings. "Oh no…it's even worse than I thought!"

"I know! Pretty impressive, don't you think?" Gordor said, misunderstanding his colleague's comment.

Paradox nodded, a bemused look on her face. "Quite the ambitious plan, Giovanni. There's just one problem: do you actually know how the world's armies are getting to Mars and back?"

"I do not, mainly because they haven't started planning that yet," Giovanni said. A frown slowly formed on his face, a troubling thought occurring to him. "And I assume you are about to tell us how they're going to do that, and why my plan won't work?"

"Heh. Close," Paradox said with a chuckle as another time portal opened and what looked like herself emerged from it. The second Celebi handed her an object, kissed her on the lips, and then vanished back into the portal.

Everyone stared. "…That was kinda hot," Petrel said. Proton smacked him, but privately agreed.

"Ah, it's so fun using time travel to mess around with yourself," Paradox said dreamily. "Anyway, no Giovanni, I'm not going to tell you how the world's armed forces are going to Mars and why your plan won't work…" She tossed the object her temporal clone had just given herself at Giovanni. One of Domino's arms reflexively shot out and caught it before it could reach her master. "I'm going to tell you how the world's armed forces are going to Mars and exactly why your plan will _succeed_. With a little help from yours truly, of course."

Giovanni frowned at the object clutched in Domino's buds. It looked like a small stone carved in a geometric formation with glowing runes set into every face. "What is that, Paradox?"

"That, my dear Giovanni, is a portalstone," Paradox said, a grin forming on her face. "And with it…I can make sure that all your dreams of Team Rocket triumphant will come true."

…

Meanwhile, in northeastern Sinnorre…

The Caretakers had gathered at the edge of Treeshroud Forest to say farewell to their benefactors and friends. Michael and Chora, as leaders of the tribe, stood at the head of the group that had assembled to see Wabbaku and Gardenia off on their journey to the Wobbuffet's homeland, while Choc-Oboh stood on the plains just outside the woods, preening herself while many of the Caretakers looked on in awe.

"Thank you again for all your help, Michael," Wabbaku said as he bowed to his friend and fellow shaman. "Were it not for your assistance, we would never have freed the great spirit and gained our new ally in the battle against Mewgle."

"It was my pleasure," the Leafeon said with a smile. "Anything to help the wise mon who helped find a new home for my people and offer us a new start. I owe you a debt that I can never repay, and I swear to you that whenever you need me, merely speak to the winds and the spirits will carry your pleas to my ears. I will come to your aid, no matter where you are. Not even the ocean can keep us apart."

"I make the same promise," Wabbaku told Michael. "Even if my spirit joins the ancestors, I will find my way back to you, should you call upon me." He smirked. "Actually, I might have an easier time finding you if I _were_ a spirit, since you're a shaman like myself."

Michael chuckled. "It's good to know that there are bonds so strong that not even death can tear them apart. Go well, my friend…my brother. I hope to see you again soon."

"Don't hope," Wabbaku said sternly. "Because that implies we might not meet again. And you and I both know there's no way we _won't_ come together once more. After all, our tribes are allied, and our children promised to each other. Even though we may be separated by distance, our hearts and spirits will always be together. As you said…not even the ocean can keep us apart."

"I did say that, didn't I?" Michael laughed. "Very well, then…this is not goodbye, so much as 'see you later.' Until next time, my friend."

Wabbaku nodded. "Until next time."

Next to the two shamans, Gardenia and Chora were conversing. "You have a great future ahead of you. Are you ready for it, to be the wife of one who speaks with the spirit world?" the Liepard asked her Cacturne friend.

"I-I think so," Gardenia stammered. "I can't help feeling a little frightened, though. The things Wabbaku can do, the…the forces he can command and speak with, it's all so amazing. I can't do anything like that. I can't help feeling a little intimidated…i-it's not that I'm _scared_ of him or anything, but…"

"But you are not certain you are worthy of a mon like him?" Chora finished.

Gardenia nodded vigorously. "He's just so, so _important._ And I'm…well, not. I'm nothing special."

"Do not underestimate yourself," Chora said sternly. "You may have no special powers or ability to converse with the spirits, but that does not mean you are worthless or insignificant. You have stayed by Wabbaku's side through thick and thin, against dragons, demons, witches, and ancient horrors. A lesser womon would have fled long ago, or died. You stayed with him, no matter what. Your love for him is a powerful force all its own, proof that your heart is more than worthy to serve as the mate of a shaman."

"I…d-do you really think so?" Gardenia asked, flushing.

"I _know_ so," Chora purred, nuzzling Gardenia affectionately and being careful not to catch her fur on any of the Cacturne's thorns. "Be warned, though. Being the wife of a shaman is not like being the mate of a regular Pokémon. Your husband is a bridge between our world and the beyond. It is too easy, sometimes, for a shaman to get so lost in the wonders of the spirit world that they never find their way back to the people they are sworn to serve."

Gardenia gasped in horror. "W-what? Oh no! C-could that happen to Wabbaku?"

"It will not, because he has you, and his other wife and children," Chora assured her. "This is the most important role of the wife of a shaman, Gardenia: we are the anchors binding them to our plane, the rock tying them to their home and their people. Their spirits buoy them in the beyond, but it is we that serve as the pillar to support them in the material realm. We give them a reason to come back from wherever they go on their long meditations and walkabouts, a reason to continue binding their spirits to their fleshy prisons for just a little longer. We give them a reason to _live._ Do you understand what I am saying, Gardenia?"

The Cacturne's eyes were wide in awe. "I…I think so…that sounds like an _awful _lot of responsibility, though. Do…do you really think I can do all that?"

"You've kept him alive this long, haven't you?" Chora said in amusement. "And aside from that, your burden will be shared, since you are not his only wife, so you need not fear this onus too much."

"O-okay," Gardenia said. "And I've already promised myself not to be jealous of Lucy, even though Wabbaku's known her longer…and loved her first…and has kids with her…and she's much prettier than me…I'll do my best to be a friend and sister to her, and help her help Wabbaku."

Chora nodded in approval. "She will find a good friend and sister in you, I think. I must confess I am somewhat envious, I would not mind having a sister such as yourself to help me with Michael."

"O-oh…well…I'm sure he'll find another wife someday…" Gardenia said, blushing, and marveling at how _ordinary_ it seemed to talk to someone about getting another wife. This sort of thing wasn't that common back home. Not that it didn't _happen_, it just…didn't happen often, was all.

"Perhaps, though I can only hope she will be as good as you," Chora said with a smile. She bowed her head. "And even though we are not bound to the same husband, I still regard you as my sister, for our tribes are allied, now and for all time."

"…Th-that's…that's so sweet," Gardenia sniffed, tearing up. "I've never had a sister before…not one as nice as you, anyway…gimme a hug!" She embraced the Liepard, being careful not to pierce her.

"Gardenia." The Cacturne glanced down to see her future husband smiling up at her. "Come. It is time for us to go."

"Okay." Somewhat regretfully, Gardenia let Chora go. "Goodbye, Chora! I look forward to seeing you again…sister!"

"As do I, sister!" Chora said happily.

"Well, that was fun," Mondo said as he slithered up beside them. "Time to blow this popsicle stand!"

"What are you talking about? You aren't going anywhere!" Michael said with a frown. "You're due to marry Agora this afternoon, remember?"

Mondo's face paled. "What? Come on, mon! I can't get married now! I've got too much life ahead of me!" the Ditto protested.

"You should have thought of that before sleeping with one of my people," Michael said, stomping the ground and causing vines to reach down from the trees and wrap themselves around Mondo, dragging him back towards the rest of the Caretakers. "And besides, you still have lots of life ahead of you now…as one of us!"

"Ack! No! Wabbaku, save me! You can't let him do this to me!" Mondo cried, desperately shapeshifting to try and find a form that could break free from the vines, only for his bonds to adjust their size and strength to whatever species he turned into.

"Have fun with your new family," Wabbaku said, waving cheerfully as the vines deposited Mondo in the arms of Agora the Carracosta, who eagerly hugged him tightly so he couldn't get away. "I hope to see lots of children the next time I see you!"

"No! Noooooo! Damn you, Wabbaku! Damn yoooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!" Mondo shrieked with rage as Wabbaku and Gardenia waved, said their last farewells to their friends, and left the forest, heading for the waiting Choc-Oboh.

"Do you think that was a bit mean?" Gardenia asked Wabbaku once they were out of earshot.

"No. He needed a lesson in responsibility, and being a father and husband should teach it to him," Wabbaku said.

"What if he tries to run off?" Gardenia asked.

"Then Michael will summon the spirits of Agora's ancestors, and they will do horrible things to him," Wabbaku said.

"Oh. Okay, then," Gardenia said.

They soon reached Choc-Oboh, who squawked to them in greeting and lowered her body to the ground so that they could climb onto her back. Gardenia felt no fear of being burnt by the phoenix spirit's flames, Wabbaku had assured her they only hurt the wicked, and since they had been able to ride Choc-Oboh back from the desert without any problems, she didn't think there'd be any problems riding her across the ocean to Kanjohenn. "Are you sure it's okay for us to ride her back to your village?" she asked, unable to help herself from feeling a slight twinge of guilt. "I mean, she needs to find that Leo kid so they can stop Mewgle together…"

"Mewgle is still licking his wounds from his defeat yesterday, and it will take some time for Leviathan to recover and replenish its power due to all the souls that were stripped from it. Choc-Oboh has more than enough time to take us home, and then fly back to Sinnorre to seek her destined partner," Wabbaku assured her.

"That's good to know," Gardenia said in relief. "I wouldn't want to be responsible for the end of the world just because we wanted to get home a little faster!"

Once her passengers had secured themselves on her back and had a good grip on her feathers, Choc-Oboh stood up, spread her wings, and flapped with all her might, generating a gust of wind that blew back the branches on the nearby trees and the hair of the Caretakers who had been standing too close to the forest's edge. Gardenia and Wabbaku waved at the diminishing specks of color on the ground that they were their friends as they rose higher and higher, until Treeshroud Forest was little more than a big green splotch spread out beneath them. Choc-Oboh dipped one wing and turned in the air, pivoting about and heading east, towards the ocean and the land beyond.

"I'm going to miss them," Gardenia said abruptly, surprised to realize this. "Not just Michael and Chora, but all the Caretakers. They're such lovely Pokémon. And they've been able to do so _much_, channeling all the pain and suffering they've endured and turning it into something so…beautiful, you know?"

Wabbaku nodded. "I do indeed. Michael has done well keeping his tribe from succumbing to despair. I have seen what that sort of thing can do to a person…if they do not break the cycle of sorrow, their path usually ends in ruin. I'm glad that Michael was able to help his people take the path of life instead."

"Me too!" Gardenia said. "I hope your tribe is half as nice as the Caretakers!"

"What, _only_ half?" Wabbaku joked.

Gardenia chuckled. "I kid, I kid…seriously, though, there was something I wanted to talk to you about."

"Oh?" Wabbaku asked.

"What was that about our kids getting betrothed to Michael's?" Gardenia asked.

Wabbaku turned red. _Oh crap. What do I say to her? Uh, spirits?_

_You're on your own, kid,_ the spirits replied flatly.

_Dammit!_

…

Meanwhile, far to the south…

A tall figure wearing a thick brown cloak limped across the lifeless plains towards the distant horizon, the hem of his garment billowing in the wind. He didn't actually need to wear it, but he thought it looked cool, and it also protected him from the sun, which was beating down on him far hotter than he would have liked. Stupid ball of flaming gas millions of miles away. He'd show it who was boss someday!

A large hill lay in his path. He briefly considered going around it, then decided it would be more dramatic for him to appear over the rise so he could unveil himself before whoever lay below him with the sun at his back to make him look like a badass, which he totally was, even if he wasn't quite feeling it at the moment. Stupid rainbow-spitting Rapidash goddess from another universe. He didn't even like that show that much anyway. Waaaaay too girly for him. In fact, he only watched it all the time just so he could mock it! Yes, that was the only reason. Absolutely. Without a doubt.

Muttering these lies to himself, the cloaked figure hiked up the slope, clutching his garb tightly to himself as the wind blew past and dust got into his hood. He stumbled, coughing and convulsing as the dust went down his windpipe. Gah. Stupid particles of dry matter. Why did it seem like everything was out to get him these days? (Okay, so he was planning to conquer all of reality, but that didn't mean reality had to be such a bitch about it, right?) Once he'd caught his breath, he resumed his climb, quickly reaching the top of the hill. He stood up straight so he cast a long and imposing shadow down on the field below, which was surprisingly lush and fertile compared to the rest of the rocky fields making up the rest of the landscape, covered in grass and beautiful flowers, as well as several large carvings in the ground resembling giant letters. A green hillock rose at the edge of the bountiful field, with a cave half-hidden beneath a drapery of vines and flowering garlands carved into its side. Waiting a moment for dramatic tension, the figure cast off his cloak, revealing himself to be none other than…

Mewgle, the demon of games! "I…have…RETURNED! Tremble in fear, pitiful Unown and Molly Hale, for I have _survived_ in spite of the humiliation you dealt me yesterday, and have come back for my revenge! I may not be able to feed you to Leviathan, but I'm sure I can think of _something_ to do to you stupid letters to make you pay for what you did to me!"

He paused, again for dramatic tension, as well as to allow a rebuttal from his foes. He frowned when no such rebuttal materialized. There were no gasps, no screams, no cries of defiance or denial. In fact, it was almost like there was nobody here at all. He glanced around, confused and somewhat disappointed when no Unown materialized from thin air and Mie didn't stride forth from the entrance to Aegis Cave to challenge him to another silly word game. "Uh…hello? Mewgle here? I'm back for revenge and stuff?" he called out across the field. There was no reply. "Guys? Is anybody here? Hey! Are you ignoring me? I don't like being ignored!" Again, there was no reply.

Growling in frustration, his big moment ruined, the demon stomped down the hill, crossed the field, and stood at the entrance to the cave. "HEY! ANY TRANS-DIMENSIONAL BEINGS WHO LOOK SUSPICIOUSLY LIKE LETTERS OF THE ALPHABET IN THERE?" he shouted into the cavern. He waited for a response. Other than his echo, nothing came out of the cave. Fuming, he swatted aside the vines and entered the cave.

He didn't get very far. Rather than leading to a portal to another dimension, the cave was just a large, depressingly empty tunnel that went back several meters before stopping in a dead end, with nothing interesting but some luminescent moss and mushrooms and flowers that looked very pretty but Mewgle honestly did not give a damn about. Gnashing his teeth, his temper growing, Mewgle stomped back out of the cave, walked right over to one of the geoglyphs, hopped over one of the lines, and started dancing about the interior. "Hey! Hey! I'm messing with your geoglyphs! I'm messing with your geoglyphs!" he shouted at the sky. "I know how much you guys love these things, so come down and stop me if you want me to cut it out!"

Nothing happened. No horrible curses befell him. No portals to strange and nightmarish other dimensions tore open to swallow him up. No alien creatures materialized from thin air to punish him for his insolence. Nothing happened at all. Realizing this, Mewgle's dancing gradually came to a stop. "FUCK," he shouted. "They're gone. Unbelievable."

Shoulders sagging in disappointment, he sat down on the ground in a huff. "Well, that was an enormous waste of time…" he grumbled to himself. "There goes my plan of finding something in the cave we could use against my ex…or at least make those brats pay for humiliating us…" He looked down at the serpentine mark on his stomach apologetically. "Sorry, buddy, guess you're gonna have to wait a little longer to satisfy your appetite for vengeance…and souls. Since there isn't exactly anything out here you can eat to replenish your strength. Which we're gonna need, since my ex is on the loose, and it's only a matter of time before she joins forces with Leo and they come looking for me…not that I'm not ready for them, but I'd like to be as strong as I possibly can be before the final showdown, and we're not quite there yet, are we now?" The mark pulsed briefly, Leviathan reacting to his words. "No, we're certainly not. Stupid Unown. Stupid rainbows. Stupid ex-wives, and STUPID FUCKING MOLLY HALE. Seriously, who knew she had that in her? She's certainly come a long way since when she was a kid…huh. She grew up. Imagine that. Well, she _did_ have more than enough time to do so…"

He sighed. "Well, if we're going to get back our strength, we'd better get a move on, since there certainly isn't anything left for us here. Come on, buddy, let's go find a city or two for you to eat. Come to think of it, I wouldn't mind a meal too…I would kill for a good burger right about now. Literally. Since I'm an evil demon and all." The mark pulsed again. "Yeah, yeah, I know, you're hungry. Me too. Less talking, more walking."

Conjuring a new cloak, he set off once more for the latest settlement and a bite to eat, leaving the former Aegis Cave, now stripped of all its mystic wonder, behind.

…

Meanwhile, at Chroma Ruins…

It was time for Team Nightshade to leave. With the next peace of the Magnificent Compass AKA Imperial Lemewrian Seal secure and their newest team member formally inducted, it was time for the group of motley would-be heroes to set off for their next and possibly final destination…Altru Tower, where the last known Compass piece, and therefore Princess Sara, were waiting for them…along with the Berry King, whoever or _what_ever he was.

As Callista said tearful farewells to Nefertiti and Cranger and all her other crypt-dwelling friends, Gary noticed that Mary had broken off from the rest of the group and was standing near the edge of the plateau surrounding the entrance to the Ruins, staring off into the mists enshrouding the rocky plains around them. Excusing himself from the others, who were too busy trying to dislodge Jerry from Evans' throat (The not-too-bright Ekans had been rummaging through their Rescue Team kit for something to eat and mistaken Jerry, who had been looking for some jam Mary might have missed for a sandwich, for an especially large berry) to notice, the Gengar walked over to his oldest friend, concern etched on his face. "Hey," he said quietly. "What's up?"

"Nothing's up," the Medicham said defensively, refusing to meet his eyes. "What makes you think something is?"

"The fact that you're standing over here by your lonesome and you won't look at me," Gary said. "Mary, what's wrong?"

She clenched her fists. "What's wrong? What's wrong? What ISN'T wrong?" she shouted, whirling on him. "If everything that thing in the mirror told you is true-"

"Which it is. Kinda has to be. You know, Mirror of Truth and all," Gary said.

"Then…then that means…everything…everything we know, our whole lives…all of it is a _lie_…" she whispered, shaking in anger and despair.

"Well, I wouldn't go _that_ far," Gary said. "My life, maybe. Yours? Probably not."

"How do you know that?" she hissed. "How do you know that my entire life and personality weren't shaped and sculpted by unseen time-traveling puppet-masters like yours was? How do you know that everything about me, from my attitude to my beliefs to _how I was born_ weren't all planned in advance like your life seems to have been? Our lives are on those walls in the ruins, Gary! Our _whole lives!_ Thousands of years before we were born, set in literal stone by time travelers who are probably still messing around with us even as we speak! And since they're time travelers, we'll never know when they're doing something to us to make us do what they want, when they alter our thoughts or do something to the people and environment around us to move us in the direction they want! For all I know, I might only be angry right now because they're _letting_ me be angry! How are you taking this so lightly, knowing how badly your _entire life_ has been fucked up by these people? Or are they doing something to your mind to keep you from being angry, too?"

"Oh no, I'm angry all right," Gary said. "_Extremely _angry. But you know what? I can't do anything about it. Not a single damn thing. You said it yourself, Mary: they're too powerful for us to do anything about. They've gotten away with messing around with us for this long, I don't think we realistically have a chance of keeping them from doing it any further."

"And you're all right with that?" she asked incredulously.

"Hell no! But again: what the heck are we supposed to do about it?" Gary asked bitterly.

Mary hesitated. "I…well…"

"You don't know? Well, neither do I!" Gary said. "And I'm angry and I'm frustrated and I'm just as unhappy with it as you are, maybe more so, because at least I know _exactly_ how badly they've screwed me over. But the thing is…I can't do anything about it. I can't do anything about it anymore than I can move the Sun and the Moon, or undo death, or…or reverse time so that Gooey and Torque and the others won't hate us so much," he said quietly. "Those powers are the provenance of somebody else…and since they can't or won't do anything about it, there's no point in us getting all worked up about it, any more than you could about a forest fire or avalanche or tsunami that wasn't being caused by some angry Pokémon. Sometimes things happen and there's nothing you can do about it, and it sucks big time, but…what can you do? You could rail at the heavens and curse fate and stuff, sure…but where's that gonna get you in the end but feeling angry and empty and utterly insignificant?"

"Isn't that what we are anyway?" Mary asked bitterly.

"Our lives and our mission have been crafted from start to finish by these Team Quantum guys, which I'm not happy about, and if I ever get a chance to run into them I intend to tell them as much, vehemently. But other than that…these lives they've made for us are still our own, Mary. So what if most of it was scripted beforehand by unseen beings? Ash's probably was, since he's some big Chosen One with tons of prophecies and destinies and fate and all that, and he seems to be fine with it. We may not have as much of a choice in what happens and what has happened as we might like…but this life of ours is all we've got, and if we don't have that, what _do_ we have?" Gary asked.

Mary blinked in surprise. "Gary…"

"I know this may not be the best of advice, but…right now, what we need to do is just…I dunno, put this out of our heads. It's a big shock, yeah, but really, what impact does that have on our mission in the long run?" Gary asked.

Mary gave Gary a confused look. "The…mission?"

"Mary, somewhere out there there's a princess to be rescued. There's also some mysterious legendary king we're going to have to deal with, and some angry former friends out for our blood, and a bunch of bad guys we've never even met lurking in the shadows somehow profiting from all this…and an ancient empire to somehow resurrect. We're going to raise a continent from the bottom of the sea, Mary. A freaking _continent_. How cool is that?" Gary asked. "This is the kind of adventure we've always dreamed about, isn't it? The one we hoped would take us to the big leagues, to show we weren't just some misfit bullies but _real_ heroes like Aaron and Mr. Thunderblade and, and Ash?"

"…This adventure hasn't been that fun so far," Mary said glumly.

Gary snorted. "Well, that's a hard dose of reality for you. Adventure's not always everything it's cracked up to be, yeah? That doesn't change the fact that it's still the most interesting thing that's ever happened to us…and, for all the pain it's caused us and a lot of the people we've run into, I can't say there haven't been fun parts, too. Getting to loot an ancient dungeon…taking part in a kickass race…getting to perform on stage in front of hundreds of people…traveling to places I doubt anyone in Pokémon Square has ever been to…and teaming up with an Arceusdamned _ninja,_ of all things, and a creepy chick who wants to be undead! Hell, Evan even found a girl who was into him, something we _never_ thought would happen to us!"

Mary considered this. "…When you put it that way, I, I guess it wasn't all that bad…all the time…"

Gary nodded. "Yeah, we've screwed up a lot on this adventure—I'll be the first to admit that—but there's still been some pretty sweet moments, and those are the memories I'm going to treasure after this is all over. So while I'm not happy that pretty much this whole quest was probably set up in advance by those meddling time travelers, that doesn't change the fact that it's still the sort of adventure we always talked about having, something that really _meant_ something more than just going out into the wilderness and beating up some barbarians or rescuing some idiot who got himself lost in a dungeon. The fate of an entire continent lies in our hands, and what we do may even affect the whole world for the better. My reflection in the mirror said as much." He gave Mary a serious look. "So we can rage at the gods all we want, but at the end of the day we still have a job to do, and yelling at beings beyond our comprehension that are basically forcing us to dance to their strings isn't going to get it done. So feel angry all you want—I sure as heck am—but leave some room to save Princess Sara and fulfill whatever destiny we've got in store for us, because even if it was all planned in advance, it's still a bona fide heroic destiny, and it's more than we ever had loafing around Pokémon Square picking fights with other teams. Do you understand?"

"I…y-yes, Gary, I understand," Mary said, staring at the Gengar in awe. He seemed like a whole different person to her, though this might have been a result of him getting his memories back thanks to his sojourn into the Mirror of Truth. She found herself not minding that much, actually, he was still the mon she had fallen in love with, and if anything he was even _more_ attractive now than he had been before they'd left for Almiore. She marveled at the changes her best friend and secret crush had gone through since they'd begun their journey. He really seemed to be growing into the kind of leader that the legendary Rescue Teams back hom- like the teams her parents were on-had at their helms…and she found herself liking it. A lot. She realized she was blushing, and turned away before Gary could see.

She wasn't fast enough, however, and Gary winced, realizing it was time for them to talk about…the other important matter between them. "Mary…there's one thing the Mirror told me that I didn't mention last night. Something I didn't want the others to hear?"

Mary stiffened and gave Gary a wary look. Could it be? "Wh-what is it?" she asked.

Gary ground his teeth. "I…know you're in love with me. The Mirror told me."

Mary stiffened. Although she was standing still, she felt like the whole world was rocking around her. "Oh," she said quietly.

"Yeah," Gary said awkwardly, fidgeting and not looking her in the eye. After a moment, he asked, "How long have you…"

"Since the day we met," Mary blurted out.

Gary gave her a surprised look. "What, you mean the day when I blazed into Pokémon Square from out of the blue, beat up you and Evan, gave you a wedgie, and proclaimed myself your boss?"

Mary flushed. "Y-yeah. You were the first mon that wasn't an adult who'd ever showed me up like that. Most of the kids I picked on back in the day were too intimidated by my strength or, well, my parents to stand up to me. But you…you didn't even care."

"To be fair, I had no idea who you were, I just thought you and Evan looked like you'd make good subordinates," Gary said.

"If you had known, would you have acted any different?" Mary asked.

"…I dunno," Gary admitted.

"I think you would have. You didn't care much for authority back then," Mary said.

"I still don't," Gary said. "Though I've mellowed out a lot."

"I'd never met anyone like you before that day…and I guess I got a crush on you," Mary said Mareepishly. "My feelings haven't changed since then. If anything, they've only grown stronger."

"…Mary…" Gary said, looking uncomfortable.

She closed her eyes. "And this is where you tell me you don't feel that way for me."

"Mary, I love Gardevoir," Gary said apologetically. "I always have. Even more now that I really remember what our relationship was like back in the day. I'm hoping that by the time we meet her again, she'll feel the same way for me, too. The Mirror spirit said she should be getting back those…feelings now. One of your mothers is a Gardevoir, you know what I mean."

Mary grimaced. "Yeah. I do."

"But the thing is…" Gary paused, and then took a deep breath. "Mary, you're my best and oldest friend. Well, so's Evan, but he's an idiot and you're not. I like you. A lot. I don't know if I like you the same way you like me. I don't _think_ I do."

"Yeah," Mary said miserably, her hopes getting crushed more and more with every word he said.

"However…I'm willing to give it a shot," Gary said.

Mary's head shot up. "What?"

"I don't love you," he said. "Or at least I don't _now._ I might, in the future, if…if we gave it a shot. If we, you know, hooked up. See how it goes. Maybe it'll work out, maybe it won't. But…I feel like we gotta try, you know? I owe you that much for being oblivious to your feelings for so long. You're my best friend, and I want you to be happy, and if being with me will make you happy…then I'm willing to try it, and see what happens."

"Gary…" Mary whispered, eyes widening. "I…that…" She hesitated. This was too good to be true. "But…what about Gardevoir?"

"I still fully intend to pursue her," Gary said bluntly. "I'm not going to lead you on, Mary, I _do_ love her still, and I don't think that's going to change, even if my feelings for _you_ do. However…there's no reason I can't be with both of you, can I?"

Mary blinked. "What?"

"Well, it's not like your parents are exactly a…monogamous couple," he said awkwardly. "You have a Gardevoir mom too, so you know what it's like to be in a relationship with one. And she's turning into a bigshot vampire queen now, and will probably have tons of consorts and stuff, but…um…there's no reason her consorts can't have outside relationships, can they?"

Mary considered this. "I…guess not," she admitted. "I have to confess, that's not exactly what I had in mind for us."

"Oh?" Gary asked, hopes deflating a little.

"I'd…kind of hoped to have you all to myself," she said.

Gary blinked. "Oh. So…you weren't planning on being in a, in a thing like…"

"Oddly enough, no," Mary said.

"Oh," Gary said uncomfortably.

Mary deliberated for a moment, and then sighed. "But…I love _you_, Gary, and that's not going to change, either. This might not be happening the way I'd wanted it to…but then again, neither have most of the things in my life, and at least it's happening _at all_. And I'm pretty sure my birth mom planned on being in a steady one-mon relationship too before she got involved with Teams AWD and Raider. So…if you're willing to try this thing with me, then I'm willing to try this with you, too. And like you said, maybe it'll work, and maybe it won't, but…at least we _tried_, yeah?"

"Y-yeah," Gary said in relief, starting to smile again. "So…um…I guess this makes us a couple."

"Yeah," she said awkwardly. "I guess it does."

They fidgeted. "So…uh…should we kiss or something?" Gary asked after a moment.

"I'd love to, but only…you know…if you want to…" Mary said.

"Well…um…I guess we could…" Gary said.

"All right," Mary said, trying not to sound _too_ excited. She crouched to the ground and closed her eyes as Gary puckered up his mouth and prepared to meet her lips…

When suddenly, they both heard heavy breathing.

Their eyes shot open and they glanced to the side, where Evan was sitting, an aroused look on his face and streams of acidic drool dribbling from his mouth. "Are you two gonna make out?" he asked eagerly.

Gary and Mary's eyes flashed. Identical veins throbbed on their foreheads. Their fists lashed out in simultaneous Shadow and Ice Punches, sending the Ekans flying into one of the nearby standing stones. "EVAN!" they shouted.

"Ehehehehehe…worth it," the Ekans hissed in a dazed from where he was crumpled up at the base of the pillar.

"Awww, I wanted to see them kiss!" Jerry complained.

"Oh well, maybe another time," Janine said, not sound too enthusiastic about it.

"Wow, I hope we weren't that awkward when _we _first got together," Maren commented in amusement.

Gary and Mary's faces paled when they realized the rest of their team, as well as the ruins dwellers who'd come up to bid them farewell, were standing just a few feet away from them. "Um…how long were you…" Gary started.

"Standing there?" Mary finished weakly.

"Long enough," Nefertiti said dryly.

"Ah, young love!" Cranger chuckled. "That takes me back…young one, you need to be sure and find yourself a good mon—or womon—while you're out on this quest as well! Every Queen needs a consort or two to have around! Hmm, the Cherrim might suffice…"

"W-wait, what?" Jerry cried, turning redder than usual.

"Grandfather!" Callista cried as well, flushing under her bone helmet. "I can't believe you'd suggest I do it with a…ew…_living_ Pokémon! That's disgusting!"

"Hey! What's disgusting about being alive?" asked the offended Jerry.

"You're covered in _skin_ and have all those icky organs and fluids inside you," Callista said in disgust.

"W-well so do you!" Jerry said.

"Not for much longer, I won't…" the Riolu said ominously.

"Right! Well! We should get going!" Gary yelled. "Come on everyone, let's get a move on, time's a wasting, we've got a Princess to save, a Berry King to defeat, and an empire to revive, so let's go go go!"

"Farewell, sister! Farewell, you horrible lot who I can't believe were chosen by destiny to save the world!" Nefertiti called to Callista and the others as Gary hustled Team Nightshade down the stairs away from the ruins.

"You know, I'd probably be offended if that weren't pretty much a true descriptor for us," Janine said.

"Keep my sister safe, or I will put the curse of the mummy on you!" Nefertiti continued.

"Will it jussst involve you popping up and sssaying 'curssse you?'" Evan asked hopefully.

"No, it'll involve me turning YOU all into mummies!" Nefertiti said.

"Ah. I thought asss much," Evan said miserably.

"Yet another vow of revenge…we can't leave anywhere without having someone swear one of those, can we?" Maren asked in exasperation.

Gary nodded in agreement. "Yeah, it started getting old when even the hotel owners and innkeepers of every place we stayed started swearing revenge on us just for causing a few accidents while under their roof. With all the curses and vendettas on our heads, it's amazing we haven't dropped dead yet!"

"We probably have so many they all cancel each other out," Jerry suggested. "Like how that old guy on the Sampsons is infected with every disease known to mon, but because there's so many of them in his body all at once their effects nullify each other."

"That makes sense," Mary said.

"No it doesn't," said a confused Callista.

"Just roll with it, it's not worth arguing about," Janine said wearily.

"Farewell, Callista! Take care! Have fun in the outside world! Fulfill your destiny!" Cranger called.

"I will, Grandfather! I promise that I shall restore Lemewria to glory…and return to bring you all into the heavens with me!" Callista swore. "And find a way to become undead while I'm at it!"

"And get a boyfriend?" Evan joked. The Riolu smacked him.

"Speaking of boyfriends," Maren said, glancing at Mary and Gary, who were still flushing in embarrassment. "I don't suppose you can tell us if Gary and Mary's 'thing' is going to work out, can you? Was that written on the walls, too?"

Gary and Mary started. "N-now hold on a second," Gary started. "I don't think we really need to hear-"

"Yes! Yes, we do! Tell us!" Mary screamed.

"…It _was_ written…" Callista admitted.

"Oh?" Maren asked, eyebrows raised in interest as everyone else eagerly leaned in to hear.

"But I shall not tell you what it said," Callista said smugly. Everyone facefaulted.

"What? Why not?" Mary complained.

"Yeah, I wanted to know if it worked out, too!" Evan protested.

Callista smiled enigmatically. "Because even with prophecies, there are some parts of the future it's more fun to find out for yourself."

Everyone groaned at this, and tried their best to change their newest teammate's mind, as they trekked away from Chroma Ruins towards Altru Tower and the Berry Kingdom…

And whatever destiny awaited them there.

…

Elsewhere…

From the balcony of her opulent room in the tall palace tower, the Togekiss princess stared out at the seemingly endless forest of berry trees stretched out from horizon to horizon, interspersed with roads, forests, lakes, rock formations and crystals, statues of majestic Pokémon, and beautiful towns of white-walled buildings with tile mosaics and roofs of thatch and red shingles, the fading sunlight gleaming off her tiara and the strange piece of broken glass that took prominence on her brow. There was the sound of wind chimes, and she turned in time to see the door to her chamber slide open and allow a caped figure entrance. "Good evening," it said politely. "How was your day?"

"Well enough," she said calmly. "And yours?"

"As busy as ever. Helping to run a kingdom of several thousand is never easy, as I'm sure you can understand," the figure said, striding forwards to join her on the balcony. He smiled as he stared at the magnificent vista stretched out before their eyes. "Beautiful, isn't it? I never grow tired of this view. And soon, the rest of the world will be able to see it as well, and there will no longer be any need for us to continue hiding."

The princess nodded but said nothing. The caped figure glanced at her. "I bring news from the outside world. The last fragment of the Lemewrian Seal has as last been found, and the bearers of the Seal are on their way here now to try and rescue you and retrieve the final piece of the Seal. They will fail, of course. As will your father's soldiers, who are following them in hopes that they will lead them to me."

"Are you certain of that?" the princess asked.

"Positive. I have the utmost faith in our forces. We have spent the last several hundred years preparing for war. I doubt there is any army in Almiore equipped to face us," the figure said.

"I see," the princess said.

"And even should they manage to find this place, they will not be in time to stop our marriage, or to prevent us from reviving lost Lemewria," the figure said. He smiled. "And speaking of which, almost all the preparations for our ceremony are complete. It will be a wedding befitting royalty. And with the union between our nations, there will be no force on the continent capable of standing against us…"

"If you say so," she said.

"You shouldn't be so pessimistic. Aren't Togetics supposed to be jolly?" he joked.

"I have plenty of reasons to be pessimistic," she told him.

He made a face. "I suppose you do at that, what with your father and all…well, I apologize for that, but your current melancholy will not last for much longer, I promise. After all, there's our wedding night to look forward to. I know _I'm_ certainly anticipating it."

"I suppose I am too," she said, finally smiling. "I don't suppose there will be a skimpy outfit involved?"

"Certainly, if you would like one," he said.

"Who said _I'd_ be the one wearing it?" she asked coyly.

He looked at her in surprise, and then burst into laughter. "Ha! Well played. _There's_ my beloved." He kissed her on the cheek, causing her to start and flush. "I will see what I can do to arrange for entertainment to lift your spirits in the interim. I hope very much to see you smile more. You are always lovely, but you are even more beautiful when you smile." She blushed demurely at this, and he chuckled. "I am sorry, my dear, but I'm afraid that's all I have time for at the moment. I have other duties to attend to…such as preparing a suitable welcome for the 'guests' who will be arriving shortly. I hope they make it in time for the wedding. It would be such a shame if they had to miss it."

"I suppose it would, at that. Do be careful not to overexert yourself, you're going to need all the energy you can get when the time comes," she said.

"Are you referring to the battle to come or to our wedding?" he asked.

"There's a difference?" she replied.

He laughed again. He kissed her once more, then bowed in farewell and left the room, cape swishing behind him. The door slid shut in his wake, the sound of wind chimes again filling the air as it closed. Alone once again, the princess stared out once more at the sunset shining across the berry trees, gazing south, towards the land of her birth.

A tear rolled down her cheek. "Father…" she whispered. "Why…why did this have to happen to you?"

…

Elsewhere…

The private office of Light of Justice, King of Judgment, was every bit as magnificent as you would expect the chambers of a messianic figure to be. Every surface was made of polished white marble so clean you could not only eat off it but see your own reflection in it, with towering pillars reaching up towards the vaulted, domed ceiling overhead covered in a fresco of Arceus radiating divine light to his children deities and Guardians and angels, who basked gladly in his holy aura. Alcoves in the walls held statues of saintly figures helping the needy and smiting the wicked. Stained glass windows depicting scenes from Arcean scripture and great battles between good and evil cast colored shadows on the ground as light shone through them. The back wall of the office was taken up by a towering bank of floor-to-ceiling windows framed by red and gold curtains currently swept to the side, revealing a lush, paradisiacal landscape of green hills and lush forests and sweeping rivers and lakes with several pastoral settlements dotting the landscape. Tall mountains rose up around the outskirts of this beautiful realm, surrounding it completely. The sky was unusual, shimmering with a variety of colors rather than just being blue and cloudy. The windows had hinges set on them so that they could be opened outwards and allow access to a large balcony running along the exterior of the office, granting a better view of the plains below.

A surprisingly plain and unadorned desk covered in paperwork with a computer workstation several generations more advanced than what was available on the consumer market was placed in front of the window banks, with a tall, high-backed chair behind it in which sat a handsome green-haired Zoroark in simple white robes. A beautiful Gothitelle and Reuniclus in white robes stood on either side of his chair, just behind him. Standing at the side of the desk, looking slightly nervous, were Doctor Blackarachnia Silverbolt, and Rhinox, along with a Mandibuzz in black robes wearing a witch hat, while a Togetic wearing a gold wreath and white tunic with a bow slung between his wings stood on the other side. Standing in front of the desk, with a somewhat annoyed look on his three faces, was an evil-looking Hydreigon in purple and gold robes with big red eyes painted on them and a red lens placed over the right eye of his central head with a high gold collar embossed with the seal of Judgment. He was flanked by a trio of black-masked ninjas; a Liligant, a Larvesta, and a Basculin. Standing some distance behind these four, fidgeting nervously in their white and gold robes, were six elderly Pokémon: a Liepard, a Bouffalant, a Crustle, a Conkeldurr, a Swoobat, and an Accelgor.

"What is the meaning of this, Your Excellency? Why have you called this meeting so suddenly? I was in the middle of some very important business!" the Hydreigon demanded, angry looks on his three faces.

_Funny, I didn't think 'business' was the name of one of those ninjas of yours,_ Blackarachnia thought darkly. She frowned, something occurring to her. _…What _are_ their names, anyway?_

"I apologize for the abruptness of this meeting, Sage Ghetsis, and for interrupting your business," the green-haired Zoroark, Light of Justice, said serenely, only making the Hydreigon even angrier. "But given the circumstances, I thought it prudent I gathered everyone to discuss what we're going to do about the current situation."

Ghetsis blinked. "Situ…ah! I see! You refer, of course, to the excommunication of Doctor Blackarachnia."

"My _what?_" Blackarachnia shrieked.

"Excommunicated? Preposterous! Milady's heart belongs to the cause! None are more loyal than she!" Silverbolt protested.

"That is correct. Which is why she is _not_ being excommunicated," Light of Justice said, much to the doctor and her servant's relief.

"What? After the travesty she caused yesterday, excommunication is the _least_ she deserves!" Ghetsis protested.

"Travesty?" Blackarachnia cried incredulously.

"Yes, travesty! Not only did you fail to obtain the Plates in Team Getem's possession, despite being provided with _far_ more resources and monpower than you needed, your inadequate leadership led to the pointless deaths of thousands of loyal soldiers of Arceus!" Ghetsis accused.

"I-inadequate?" the Galvantula stammered in disbelief. "I did the best I could do in a bad situation! I had no way of knowing there'd be _another _army waiting for us!"

"And besides, it's not like the martyr counts for your missions are any better," the Mandibuzz druid, Vulgara, snarked.

"All who die on my missions die for a purpose!" Ghetsis argued. "The soldiers Blackarachnia led into battle died for _nothing!_ _Especially_ since, even after the enemy army had been dealt with, she retreated rather than engaging Team Getem, despite still having more than enough forces left to take them out!"

"You overestimate my chances. We outnumbered them, but they had not only wiped out most of the Nihilator army on their own, but had also defeated a _god._ What exactly were we supposed to do against a power like that?" Blackarachnia asked angrily.

"You could have at least _tried,_ rather than running like the cowardly vermin you are!" Ghetsis snarled.

"And in doing so I would have gotten _more_ of my mons killed pointlessly!" Blackarachnia argued.

"But you _could have won! _Which would have made their sacrifices worth something!" Ghetsis insisted. "Instead, you ran with your giant robot's tail between its legs, making the deaths of everyone who followed you into battle meaningless! Your first duty is to our cause, Blackarachnia, not your troops. If a few hundred Pokémon have to die so that Arceus' will is carried out, then so be it!"

Blackarachnia flinched. Silverbolt snarled, his hackles rising. "I-I-"

"Ghetsis, that is enough," Light of Justice said. "I have had General Pit analyze the combat data from the battle, and give his own evaluation of Blackarachnia's actions. General?"

"My liege," the Togetic said, bowing his head. "Blackarachnia made the right decision. I examined footage of the fighting skills of Team Getem's allies taken during the battle, and even though they were tired to an extent after defeating the Nihilator forces as well as the corrupted god-birds, I believe they would still have had enough strength to repel what was left of Blackarachnia's forces. There was a very, very, _very_ slim chance that she might have been able to beat them, but so many of our own soldiers would have died and our war machines been destroyed that it would have been nearly impossible for her to have made it back to New Eden with the Plates in one piece."

"Then why didn't she simply attack Team Getem while they were distracted fighting the god-birds?" Ghetsis demanded, unwilling to give up so easily.

"Because then she would have been forced to fight the birds as well as the Nihilators _and_ Team Getem and their allies," Pit said. "She would have been wiped out in mere minutes."

"That's what _I_ said," Rhinox grumbled.

"Blackarachnia did the best she could, and while she failed, it was through no fault of her own," Light of Justice concluded. "As such, I see no reason to punish her."

Blackarachnia sighed in relief. "Praise Arceus…" Silverbolt said thankfully. "And you, my liege!"

"Argh! Fine!" Ghetsis snarled, his two smaller heads gnashing their teeth in frustration. "If we're not here to see Blackarachnia punished, then why _did_ you call us out here?"

"To discuss something very important," Light of Justice said. "Were you watching the broadcast sent out from Fichina?"

"Yes, I saw it," Ghetsis said.

"And what are your thoughts on it?" Light of Justice asked.

"That it's maddening Team Getem managed to obtain half of the Plates, meaning they'll be coming for the eight we possess next, and that if we're going to have any hope of getting the Plates from them we're going to need to set up an ambush to get them the instant they step out of Fichina's protected borders?" Ghetsis asked.

Light of Justice frowned. "I was referring to the Nihilators."

"Oh. Them," Ghetsis grunted. Behind him, the other six Sages fidgeted.

"Ghetsis, why have we not dealt with the Nihilators on a broad scale before now?" Light of Justice asked. "Our organization was formed to destroy evil in all its forms. The Nihilators are clearly an evil and very dangerous threat. Why have we not judged them yet?"

"Your Excellency, there are hundreds, maybe thousands of doomsday cults and wannabe world-conquerors out there," Ghetsis said dismissively. "Dealing with all of them on a one-by-one basis is ludicrous, since more would simply pop up to replace any we destroyed. We were aware of the existence of the Nihilators before now, but saw no reason to devote serious time and monpower to eradicating what we didn't think to be a serious threat, since that effort could more reasonably be put to use searching for the Plates of Arceus, since with all sixteen of them it would be within our power to rid the world of all evil in one fell swoop, taking out the Nihilators as well as any other groups of terrorists, murderers, rapists, thieves, barbarians, and so on that are out there."

"Not a serious threat? Did you _see_ how many ships those guys had?" Blackarachnia asked incredulously.

"Not to mention the giant robot spider. And the corrupted gods," Silverbolt added.

"And all of the other things that broadcast implied they're doing or are involved in," Rhinox added.

Vulgara snickered. "Looks to me like you really dropped the ball on this one, Ghetsis."

The dark dragon bristled, and the ninjas behind him tensed for a fight. "You _dare_-"

"Ghetsis," Light of Justice interrupted. "It would appear that we were incorrect in our previous evaluation of the Nihilators. They are clearly more than your average doomsday cult or wannabe world-conquerors. They represent a serious threat to the world and its people. Not only that, they seek to revive the Ruler of Evil, the ultimate antithesis to everything we stand for."

"…I…_may_ have slightly miscalculated how much of a danger the Nihilators presented…" Ghetsis admitted reluctantly.

Vulgara snorted. "That's an understatement!" Ghetsis snarled angrily at her.

"But that just means it is even more critical that we eliminate Team Getem and acquire their Plates before the Nihilators are able to carry out their own plans," Ghetsis said. "If we can obtain all the Plates before they are able to revive the Ruler of Evil, then we can easily destroy them and put an end to their threat permanently!"

"…No," Light of Justice said.

Ghetsis started. "Wh-what?"

"Ghetsis, the primary objective of our organization is to rid the world of evil. Getting the Plates is simply one means to an end," Light of Justice said. "While taking the Plates from Team Getem would allow us to destroy the Nihilators, in the time it took for us to locate and defeat them outside Fichina—and we have no idea when or where they'll come out—the Nihilators, who are no doubt desperate due to their presence being revealed to the world, might be able to do something drastic that will prove catastrophic to the peoples of the world. I will not allow that to happen. We have already ignored far too many other evil doings already in our rather single-minded quest to collect the Plates, which I am now regretting. If we had focused more on the Nihilators and those like them before now, they might have had less of a chance to commit the _countless_ atrocities they have managed to perform so far, if that broadcast detailing all their doings can be believed."

"Which it can," Rhinox spoke up, wilting when everyone turned to look at him. "Er, I mean…that's what my research shows, anyway. I've done a lot of cross-checking on missing persons, crimes, man-made and apparently natural disasters, and all of it matches up with what those vampires were talking about. It even cleared up some mysteries and evildoings that we were having a hard time figuring out."

Ghetsis frowned. "Then…what are you suggesting?"

"That for the time being, we put our mission to collect the Plates on hold-" Light of Justice started.

"WHAT?" Ghetsis shouted in disbelief.

"And that we commit all our forces to a Crusade against the Nihilators," Light of Justice finished.

Silverbolt gasped in delight. "A Crusade? Oh, glory of glories! I will at last have a chance to participate in this most noble of methods to exterminate those who defy Arceus! Is this not wonderful, beloved?"

"I…suppose so," Blackarachnia said, somewhat uncomfortable with the thought of her lover marching out and getting hurt or worse. "You'd probably do better sticking with me, though. We can kill just as many Nihilators together as you could on the field, maybe more so."

"But of course! I would never willingly leave your side, not even to march with my brothers and sisters to do holy battle against the hordes of evil!" Silverbolt vowed, causing her to blush.

"A…a Crusade? That's lunacy!" Ghetsis cried.

"Not really. Thanks to the intel the vampires revealed in the broadcast, we now know where most of the major Nihilator bases and agents are located around the globe…as does most of the rest of the world," Pit said. "It would be relatively simple for us to dispatch our forces to those places and perform facility-wide Judgment to destroy all that those heathens have crafted and liberate those whom they have captured. In our light, even their darkest Shadow Pokémon shall be purified."

"And once we have helped to wipe out the Nihilator forces on Earth, we shall continue our Crusade to the stars and take the battle to Mars," Light of Justice said.

"Even more glorious!" Silverbolt said eagerly. "To travel to space…to bring the light of Arceus to an alien world…oh! This is even more exciting than I had ever dreamed! Truly we must be living in the End Days, if such wonders are upon us!"

"Aren't the End Days supposed to also have lots of violence and bloodshed and the deaths of millions?" Vulgara asked.

Silverbolt hesitated. "I…er…oh. Um…yes, that's true. Perhaps that would not be such a good thing, after all…but still…" His eyes sparkled, and he looked out the window in awe. "_Space…_can you imagine it, my beloved? To go to the stars, and witness the infinite beauty of the cosmos?" He smirked as he glanced back at Blackarachnia. "Which holds not a candle to _your_ beauty, of course, milove."

Blackarachnia blushed again. "You are _such_ a charmer, Fido…"

"You…you cannot seriously be considering this course of action, Your Excellency!" Ghetsis protested. "To abandon our mission and embark on some ill-thought out Crusade? To commit our organization to reaching _Mars_, of all places? It is impossible!"

Light of Justice raised an eyebrow. "Is it now? The Nihilators are not alien in origin; they hail from Earth, and yet they were able to reach Mars and establish a fortress there. Why then can we not find our own way to follow them?"

"I…b-because it's preposterous!" Ghetsis protested.

"Many could say the same for our cause—not that anyone in this room would _ever_ say that, of course—but we do it anyway," Blackarachnia said.

Pit nodded loyally. "If Light of Justice says we shall go to Mars, then all of Judgment shall move to grant his wish!"

Ghetsis gnashed his teeth in frustration. "You overzealous fools! And what of Team Getem? If we commit all our resources to fighting the Nihilators, what's to stop them from finding their way to New Eden and attacking us directly?"

"Nothing," Light of Justice said.

"Aha!" Ghetsis said triumphantly. "Which is why we must do something about them _before_ we embark on this mad Crusade of yours!"

"You are correct," Light of Justice agreed, much to Ghetsis' pleasure. "Which is why we will be extending a truce to them and asking if they wish to aid us in our Crusade against the Nihilators."

Ghetsis blinked. "…Wait, what?"

"You said it yourself, Ghetsis: with the power of all sixteen Plates, we can destroy all evil in the world…or on Mars," Light of Justice said. "But that doesn't necessarily mean we have to take the Plates by _force_ to complete our collection."

"What? But if we don't steal the Plates, then how…" Ghetsis' six eyes widened. His jaws dropped. "You _cannot_ be serious."

"I most certainly am. I have extended an offer to Team Getem, more than once, to join us," Light of Justice said. "We are not so dissimilar, and our goals are alike, so it would be logical for us to work together. However, they disagree with our methods, which is why they have always turned me down before. However…in this instance, I wonder if they might still be so obstinate. The Nihilators are a greater threat to the world than Team Getem believes that we are, as they know now from experience. They have battled the Nihilators and understand how dangerous they are. If we were to tell them that we wished to fight the Nihilators as well, and asked for their assistance…I am not so certain they will decline my offer as they have so many times before. After all, it is not unreasonable for enemies to join forces against a common foe, is it?"

"But…but…that's ridiculous!" Ghetsis protested as behind him, the six Sages murmured in disbelief. "They'll never go for it! _We_ shouldn't go for it!"

"What, even though it'll give us the perfect opportunity to take the Plates from them once our alliance is no longer necessary?" Vulgara asked.

Ghetsis paused to consider this. "Well, when you put it that way…" Vulgara smirked in amusement.

Silverbolt scowled at the Mandibuzz. "I still do not understand why we must rely on such a…underhanded and malignant creature," he grumbled. "She is the sort of being we are supposed to be removing from the world…"

"She may not be the nicest Pokémon, and isn't particularly committed to the cause, but she's the foremost expert on the Plates and their powers, so we don't really have a choice but to keep her around," Blackarachnia said. "And Light of Justice promised to spare her in return for her help, so…"

"I know, I know," Silverbolt sighed unhappily.

"While they may be reluctant to ally with us at first, given our past, I know Ritchie's heart and have every reason to believe he will be willing to put aside our differences to fight against the Nihilators, for while he may not like the idea of a world under our control—for whatever reason—he knows it would be preferable to one ruled by the Nihilators," Light of Justice said. "So even if you are right, Ghetsis, and he refuses yet again, I believe we must at least make the effort to bridge the gulf between us."

"…Very well. I still do not like this, and think you are wasting our time with this Crusade…but if it gets us the Plates, I suppose there is some merit to it," Ghetsis said grudgingly. "All right. The Sages shall endorse this Crusade against the Nihilators…and to Mars, though I still don't know how we're going to _get_ there."

Light of Justice nodded gratefully. "Thank you, Ghetsis. With the Sages' endorsement, it will be much easier to convince the rest of Judgment of the necessity of this Crusade."

"Not that you really needed it…all you'd have to do is tell them we need to fight the Nihilators, and every one of them would instantly sign up for it," Pit said.

"Watch your tongue!" Ghetsis snapped. "It is only through the agreement of the Seven Sages that Light of Justice rules Judgment! If we withdrew our support from him, he would be nothing!"

Pit raised an eyebrow. "Do you really want to test that? Do you want to see just how many Pokémon would turn their backs on Light of Justice if you excommunicated him? I for one would follow him to the ends of the Earth, and I can safely say a significant number of our forces would do the same, for while the Seven Sages may have put Light of Justice into power, he is the one who has truly made this organization prosper under his rule."

Ghetsis eyes flashed in rage. "_You-"_

"Enough of this, both of you," Light of Justice interjected. "We are all on the same side here. We are friends, not enemies. General Pit, the Sages are just as important to Judgment as I, if not more so. We would not even exist without their continued support and guidance."

"That's right," Ghetsis said smugly to Pit, who scowled and looked like he disagreed but didn't dare to say it.

"Ghetsis, prepare our flock to hear me. I shall address them shortly, and tell them of the new direction our mission of justice has taken us," Light of Justice said.

"As you command, Your Excellency. I shall send out the word and have the population of New Eden gathered before the Cathedral shortly," Ghetsis said with a bow, still smirking at gaining the upper hand over the general. "By your leave?"

"Go," Light of Justice said with a gracious wave. "Do my work, and Arceus'."

"As you wish." Ghetsis bowed again and left the room, the ninjas and other Sages at his heels.

Once the grand doors to the chamber were closed and the Sages' party had left the vicinity, the look on Light of Justice's face hardened and he turned to the lovely Psychics standing behind him. "Anthea? Concordia? Did you sense anything?"

"Ghetsis is angry with you," Anthea, the Gothitelle, said.

Concordia, the Reuiclus, nodded. "You are showing more independence and will than he expected."

"You are not acting like the puppet King he expected you to be when he and the Sages coronated you. You are making decisions of your own…and he is not happy with that," Anthea said.

"Like you'd need Psychic powers to figure that much out," Vulgara commented.

"Do not mock the Heavenly Brides!" Silverbolt hissed.

"I'll mock whoever I want, mutt," the carrion-eater said in amusement.

"I see. Is he plotting against me?" Light of Justice asked.

"At the moment? No," Anthea said.

"However, if you continue to go against his wishes, he may consider taking…extreme measures," Concordia said.

Light of Justice closed his eyes with a sigh. "Then it is as I suspected, and that _creature_ Arackaiser implied…Ghetsis is not to be trusted."

"Again, this is a surprise?" Vulgara asked snidely. Everyone shushed her.

"Shall I order his arrest, my liege?" Pit asked hopefully.

Light of Justice shook his head. "We have no solid evidence of treachery yet, not enough that would convince our congregation of his true nature. He and the Sages still have enough followers at the moment that if we tried to decry them as heretics, it would spark a rift that could tear us apart…and you know as well as I do how violently a fractioning of religious denominations tends to go. Our own separation from the mainstream Arcean Order was far from peaceful. No, we must wait and build our case against Ghetsis, so that when the time comes we can expose him without fear of destroying everything we have worked for."

"As you wish, Excellency," Pit said, hiding his disappointment that he wouldn't be getting a chance at taking the vile dragon down a peg or two just yet.

"Then we are to continue allowing him to plot against you for the interim?" Silverbolt asked in distaste.

"Sometimes the best way to catch your prey is to set a trap, not charge at it full-Emboar," Blackarachnia said. "And if we weave our web carefully, we can ensnare him without causing too big a crisis of faith or civil war within our ranks."

"I suppose so," Silverbolt said reluctantly, not fond of using such underhanded means to fight an enemy.

"We shall keep an eye on Ghetsis and the other Sages for now, and see what we can glean from their actions and intentions," Light of Justice resolved. "Vulgara, I trust you are up to the task?"

"Heh, I was wondering when you'd ask," the Mandibuzz sneered.

"I can set up my own surveillance, set a few of my children on them," Blackarachnia offered, referring to the cybernetic Joltik servitors she lovingly crafted and treated as if they were her own offspring.

Light of Justice shook his head. "No, there is too great a risk of the Shadow Triad discovering them if you were to set spies on their master. And besides, I would not ask you to risk the lives of your children."

"For your sake, Excellency, I would give up my own soul and march into the Abyss if I thought it would keep you safe," Blackarachnia said firmly.

Silverbolt nodded in agreement. "As would any of us! Well, except for the scavenger…" Vulgara stuck her tongue out at him.

"I will keep that in mind, but for now regular and mystical surveillance measures should suffice," Light of Justice said, putting an end to that line of conversation. "On to more pressing measures…while Ghetsis drums up support for our Crusade from the congregation, we must prepare for war. General Pit, dispatch agents to the bases and homes of known Nihilators revealed in today's broadcast, preferably before any other military or authorities reaches them. Do not send out any Executioners or Juries, I want them alive for the time being so that we can learn any information they might possess that was not revealed by those vampires which may prove of use to us."

"Alive? But…surely they must be destroyed!" said the alarmed Togetic.

"So they will be, once we are finished with them. They shall be Judged and found guilty like any other criminal we find lacking," Light of Justice said. "And speaking of the vampires, I suppose I should revoke the warrant against them…while I am still skeptical of their natures, it is clear they are, in some twisted way, creatures of Arceus, and so deserve a chance to live in peace like any other innocent Pokémon."

"As you wish, my liege," Pit said.

"Blackarachnia and Rhinox, I want you to start modifying our weapons and vehicles for combat on the Martian terrain, as well as figuring out a way for us to get there, assuming we cannot use whatever method the rest of the world's nations will surely use to launch an attack against the Nihilator stronghold," Light of Justice continued.

Blackarachnia nodded. "We managed to salvage some tech from the wrecked Nihilator ships, which should help us make our gear function on Mars. After all, if it works for the Nihilators, it should work for us too, right?"

"And also make us stronger…even if we did win in the end, we lost an awful lot of resources in that battle, and if we could find a way to not repeat that incident, things will go much smoother for us the next time around," Rhinox said.

"Vulgara, use your contacts in the…darker side of magic to learn what you can," Light of Justice said.

The Mandibuzz nodded. "All right, but I'll tell you now I'm not sure just how useful I'll be…they've got Bellum on their side, and she's possibly the greatest evil sorceress who's ever unlived, certainly far beyond my own capabilities."

Light of Justice smiled. "I think you sell yourself short."

"No, I'm not. Really," Vulgara said flatly.

"…In any event…Silverbolt, you still play some of the same online games as Zippo of Team Getem, correct?" Light of Justice asked the winged Absol.

Silverbolt started. "Wh-what? Er…yes…we even go on occasional raids together…b-but I'm only trying to win him over to our side or learn more about his team, it's n-not like I'm trying to be _friends_ with him or anything like-"

"It's fine, Silverbolt," Light of Justice said, much to the Absol's relief and confusion. "I assume that, if you play together, you have a means of communicating with him. I would ask you to convey a message to Zippo, and through him to Ritchie, that I would like to speak with him face-to-face regarding the possibility of an alliance against the Nihilators. As I said to Ghetsis, while he might not like us very much, he surely must recognize the benefits of working with us against a common foe like the Nihilators might be…_especially_ if we have his fiancée restored to her original state by the time he gets here?"

"I'll, uh, see what I can do," Blackarachnia said.

"Yeah, I guess so…" Vulgara grumbled reluctantly.

"Excellent," Light of Justice said, leaning back in his seat, a smile on his face. "And with this, I will kill two sinners with one stone. I will remove a great evil from the world…and unite at long last the sixteen Plates of Arceus. Truly His light is shining on us as we carry out His will."

"Amen," the others said solemnly, except for Vulgara, who did it rather half-heartedly. She'd never been particularly religious.

Abruptly, the doors to the office opened and the black-masked Shadow Triad entered the room. "Our master has finished his preparations for your speech," the Liligant said.

"The populace of New Eden have gathered outside the palace, and agents of Judgment around the world will be watching the broadcast we're sending out now that the airwaves are clear once again," the Larvesta said.

"Go forth, and address your public," the Basculin said.

Pit scowled. "And who are you to order His Excellency about like that? You are no more than Ghetsis' lapdogs, barely deserving to be in His Excellency's-"

"That is enough, Pit. Thank you for telling me," Light of Justice said to the Triad as he rose from his seat. "Go and tell your master I shall be out momentarily." The three ninjas nodded and left the room. "I apologize, but I must ask all but Anthea and Concordia to leave me. It is I they have come to see, and I whom they shall listen to."

"We understand, Excellency," Blackarachnia said as she and the others bowed.

"I guess we'll just have to find a good spot outside and hope there's still room near the front…" Rhinox said unhappily.

"We shall await your speech with great enthusiasm!" Silverbolt said enthusiastically.

"I don't suppose I could sit this one out? I was sort of in the middle of something when you called this meeting, and…no? Eh, I figured as much," Vulgara grumbled when the others looked at her.

"Good luck, my liege," Pit said. "Whatever you say, I know it will lead Judgment to glory!"

"Your faith in me is invigorating. As always, I shall do my best to prove myself worthy of such praise," Light of Justice said warmly. "Now go, with my blessing." His subordinates bowed again and left the room. The Zoroark turned towards the windows making up the back wall, seeing that thousands of Pokémon had gathered in a massive crowd just outside the base of the cathedral. He idly wondered how Ghetsis had managed to mobilize them all so quickly. He hoped there hadn't been any threats of death or violence, he'd told the Hydreigon numerous times such measures were unnecessary for their flock. "Anthea? Concordia? Are you ready?"

The two Psychics took up positions directly behind him, enraptured looks on their faces as they drank in his presence. "Always, Excellency," the Anthea said.

"We would follow you anywhere in this world, and the next," Concordia said.

"…Thank you. I appreciate that, more than you know," Light of Justice said, his smile broadening. He gestured to the door set in the window. "Come. Our people await."

They opened the doors and stepped out onto the balcony. Instantly, they were bombarded with the joyous screams and cheers of the thousands of Pokémon below, all of them howling and prostrating themselves in delight at the sight of their messiah. As always, Light of Justice was taken aback by just how much the members of Judgment and the people they had taken under their wing, refugees of battered homes and impoverished nations from all over the world, victims of great injustice one and all, _loved_ him and thanked him with every breath in their bodies for providing them with a new life and happiness and a hope for a better future. As always, Light of Justice swore to do his best to prove himself worthy of such sheer adulation and unwavering faith. Even so, he knew he had to remain humble, for he was not a god—despite what many of the rumors running throughout the ranks said towards the contrary—he was only one mon. _It is Arceus they should be praising, not me,_ the Zoroark thought. _I am but a servant of His will. If anyone should be receiving such accolades, it is He, not I._

Nevertheless, such belief could come in handy, for he wasn't sure how they might otherwise take what he was about to tell them, that they were about to embark on a great Crusade which might take many of their friends and loved ones who had enlisted in his army to a distant world, one from which they might never return. If _he_ told them it was necessary, though, they were certain to comply. He wasn't sure how he felt about that. Ghetsis would probably be pleased with it, but Light of Justice had always felt slightly guilty for using their flock that way.

Still, sometimes a little unpleasantness was necessary for the greater good, and with that in mind he strode to the edge of the balcony so that he could be seen by all, spreading his arms for silence. Instantly, the noise died down. Nobody wanted to speak over their esteemed leader's words. "My people!" Light of Justice began. "I have a message of great importance to deliver…one which will affect our future, and the mission and purpose of Judgment itself…"

…

Meanwhile, out in the ocean…

Somewhere in the great blue sea, there was a rock rising out of the water. Sitting on that rock in a lotus position, eyes closed and deep in meditation, was a Slowking. He hummed under his breath as he pondered the secrets of the universe…or snored while having a nice dream. It's sometimes hard to tell the difference.

The Slowking's solitude was broken when a Luvdisc, a red Gyarados, what looked like an orange Basculin, a Sharpedo, a Poliwhirl, a female Samurott, and a glum-looking Alomomola poked their heads out of the water. "Great Sage of the Oceans, we have returned from our perilous journey!" the Luvdisc, Caserin, proclaimed triumphantly.

"Yeah, and we barely made it back with our lives…" the Basculin (who wasn't actually a Basculin, but Mack Salmon) growled.

"I wish we hadn't. Then my torment could finally come to an end," the Alomomola, Styx, whined.

"Me too. Then you wouldn't keep haranguing us all the time," the Poliwhirl, Brian, complained.

"Why haven't you eaten him yet?" the exasperated Samurott, Sheila, asked the Gyarados and Sharpedo.

"I'm on a strict diet," the Sharpedo, Bruce, said in an Oztralian accent. "'Fish are friends, not food!'"

"And I don't eat anything that emo," the Gyarados, Mr. Fish, said.

"Well, why didn't the horrible monsters we just finished fighting eat him, then?" Sheila asked.

"Because _someone_ insisted that we couldn't leave anyone behind," Mack grumbled.

"We're a school! We swim together, or not at all! That's what friends do!" Caserin said firmly.

Most of the others grumbled or rolled their eyes. "Friends…right…" Brian said.

The Slowking opened his eyes, a serene look on his face. "Ah, my young friends, you have returned from your arduous quest. I take it you have obtained the item I asked you to procure?"

"We certainly did!" Caserin said happily.

"Just barely…I can't believe we had to go to all that trouble to get a bloody pair of pants!" Bruce said.

"Not just _any_ pants," Brian pointed out. "But the legendary Groudon's Pants, said to be worn by Groudon himself long ago, which can not only change size but are also completely indestructible and impervious to magic!"

"And incredibly comfortable to wear, too," Sheila said. "Or so the legends say, since Caserin wouldn't let any of us try them on."

"The pants are for the Sage, not for any of us to wear!" the Luvdisc insisted.

"Considering that to get them we had to fight a giant Octillery sea-witch named Ursula and her army of cyborg Eelectrosses and zombie ninja Dewgongs, I think we deserve to give them a try!" Mr. Fish said.

"Maybe their comfort can ease my agony…" Styx moaned.

"No! Nobody gets the pants but the Sage!" Caserin shouted.

"He is correct. I am the only one who may wear the pants," the Sage said. "Only one whose mind has been emptied of hatred and suffering can attain the necessary enlightenment to use them properly."

"Then how could Groudon wear them?" Brian asked.

"Because he was an idiot," the Sage said calmly.

"Ah. Fair enough," the Poliwhirl said.

"Sheila, deliver the goods," Mack said to the Samurott.

"Fine, fine…" the samurai grumbled, diving underwater briefly and reappearing with a pair of very comfortable-looking blue jeans in her paws. She swam over to the rock the Slowking was sitting on and deposited the pants at his feet. "Here you go."

A smile graced the ancient sage's face. "Ahhh, thank you my friends. You have no idea how long I have waited for this day." He unfolded his legs and stood up, picking up the pants and slipping them on one leg at a time. As he did up the zipper, the waist looked for a moment as if it wouldn't contain his girth, but without warning it expanded outward, conforming to match his proportions. A hole even opened at the back for his tail to poke out of. The Slowking wiggled his tail as he turned about, admiring himself and stretching his legs. He broke into a grin and started dancing, reveling in the feeling of the ridiculously comfy texture of the pants rubbing against his pinkish skin.

Bruce whistled. "Looking good!" Everyone stared at him. "What? He is!"

"Oh…oh my…yes, they are indeed as comfortable as the legends foretold! Oh, thank you my friends, you have no idea how much I needed this. I am eternally grateful to you for at last providing me with something warm to wear!" the Sage cried ecstatically. "Do you have any idea how cold it's been sitting on this windswept rock day in and day out for the last four hundred years? I'd thought my nether parts would freeze and fall off! I am pleased to report that that is no longer a concern!"

The Water Pokémon blanched. "Okay, we did _not_ need to know all that…" Brian said.

"Were there only something to thaw my heart as easily as his balls," Styx groaned. "Then perhaps I could finally be at peace…"

"Didn't need to know that, either," Mack said with a grimace.

"Great Sage, we are pleased that you are so happy with our gift, which we were only able to obtain at great risk to life and fin!" Caserin called as the Sage did the moonwalk. "Now that we have fulfilled your request, could you please aid us in our own mission?"

The Sage paused in his boogieing for a moment. "Hmm? Your own…oh, yes, the Aqua-Monica. I had almost forgotten about that." The Sage sat back down and resumed his lotus position, and from the goofy look on his face it was clear he was much more comfortable than he had been a minute ago thanks to his new pants. "The Aqua-Monica is one of the most prized treasures of the sea, and therefore among the most heavily guarded. It lies within a bubble of electricity surrounded by a ring of magical fire at the bottom of the Bottomless Ocean, guarded by narwhals-"

"Nar-whats?" asked the confused Bruce.

"Whales with a big helical horn growing from their noses that's actually an elongated upper left incisor," Mack said. "They're like the Jedi of the sea or something. Er, or so I've heard."

They looked at him in wonder. "Wailord can have _horns?_" said an awestruck Mr. Fish.

"And be Jedi?" said an equally impressed Bruce.

"That is so cool!" Brian said.

"A horn…something big and long and very sharp…something I can impale myself on, and pierce my broken heart…" Styx whined.

"Narwhals are blessed Wailords who have great magical power thanks to their horns," the Slowking said. "They will only allow passage to one who is pure of heart…or a virgin."

"Well, that shouldn't be a problem!" Caserin said chipperly as his comrades fidgeted uncertainly and Mack gulped. Noticing this, the Luvdisc sweatdropped. "Well, not for me, anyway…"

"But they are only one of the creatures guarding the Aqua-Monica. There are also krakens, and a tribe of Deep Ones that worships them," the Sage continued.

Brian's eyes boggled in alarm. "Deep Ones? As in those horrible evil mutated fish monsters that serve indescribably monstrous eldritch abominations with tentacles and too many eyes and mouths and stuff in the wrong places? Oh, snap! That's not good!"

"Perhaps they will sacrifice me to their dark gods…they cannot be too different from the ones I worship and offer my blood to, though never enough to die…" Styx groaned.

"I wish you'd stop doing that, you know, it makes it really hard to stick to my diet with you filling the water with your thick, juicy, delicious blood, oozing with the stuff of life itself and _ever so sweet_ on the tongue and what was I talking about?" Bruce said, wiping drool from his mouth. The others gave him worried looks and swam a few feet away from the professed 'vegetarian' Sharpedo.

"Deep Ones? Oh, relax. Let me handle them," Mack said with a fanged grin. "The Deep Ones and I go way back. I should be able to win 'em over pretty easily."

The others regarded him with puzzlement. "You know the Deep Ones?" Sheila asked in astonishment.

Mack nodded. "Yeah, I've done a little…business with them on occasion. They're not really as bad as their reputation makes them out to be, you just gotta know how to talk to them, which I certainly do. Leave 'em to me and I'll turn them into putty in my fins! Won't be a problem at all!"

"Yet another scrape your extensive knowledge of unsavory types will be useful in getting us out of!" Caserin said in delight as the others exchanged frowns. "Why, if I didn't know better, I would think _you_ were an unsavory type yourself, and not one of my truest and dearest friends!"

"Eheheheh…yeah…me, an unsavory type…imagine that…" Mack said, laughing nervously.

"Just how is it that you know so much about the seedier side of the sea anyway, Mack?" Mr. Fish asked suspiciously.

"I've dabbled in law enforcement," Mack said, which wasn't entirely a lie. He just hadn't said which _side_ he'd been dabbling from.

"Ah, an official of the law and protector of peace and harmony! I _knew_ there was a reason I always feel so safe with you around!" Caserin said in delight, nuzzling Mack affectionately and causing him to grimace and struggle not to push him away.

"Y-yeah, safe…just stick with me, kid, and I'll make sure that nothing bad happens to you…" Mack said, feeling very awkward.

"Oh, I will, you can be most assured of that! Why, I don't think I'd ever have made it this far on my own without the help of you, my closest, _bestest_ friend in all the deep blue sea!" Caserin said happily.

Mack grimaced, feeling an odd pang of…guilt? Was that what that was? How strange. He wasn't sure he'd ever felt it before. He didn't like it very much. "Y-yeah…friend…that's me…" he muttered.

"However, to enter the Bottomless Ocean and deal with those dangers in the first place, you must first get past the guardian of the deep: the Pale Slayer, ed'Rastekeresket t'k Gh'shestaesteh," the Sage said.

"…I'm sorry, was that an actual name or were you just clearing your throat?" asked a confused Brian.

"No, that's his name," the Sage said.

Bruce shuddered. "ed'Rastekeresket t'k Gh'shestaesteh…I know that name."

"You do? Good, because I don't think any of us have ever heard of him before," Sheila said.

"Let alone know how to pronounce his name," Mack said. "What is it with ancient immortal horrors having virtually unpronounceable names, anyway? How exactly do they expect their followers to offer worship to them if they can't even say their names right? Er, not that I speak from experience…"

"Edduhrust…eddarastykuh…edrasteksker…Ed rusty car casket…oh, I can't do it," Caserin sighed in frustration. "I can't even remember all the syllables in that!"

"Who is…that guy, Bruce?" Brian asked.

"And why does his name fill me with such wondrous terror?" Styx asked with morbid glee.

"ed'Rastekeresket t'k Gh'shestaesteh is a legend among my species…the oldest, largest, and most powerful of all Sharpedos," Bruce said, a distant look in his eyes. "He's said to be a demigod of the deep who gained immortality after feasting on the flesh of a wizard who sacrificed herself to save the sea from some great serpent called Leviathan…grown to the size of a Wailord, he is regarded as an incarnation of death in the seas, the jaws of Darkrai himself in the deep, ending distress and pain in the only way he knows how. His skin is white as a Dewgong, hence why he is called 'Pale Slayer,' and he is also known as the 'Master Sharpedo' because all Sharpedo are descended from him and so we must obey him. It's a magic in our blood, which shares some of the same power coursing through his. And just as blood in the water is enough to lure any of my kind in…_his_ blood, when shed, will summon every Sharpedo in the deep, not only to devour him and end his distress…but whatever was foolish enough to make him bleed." He shuddered. "I don't know if even _I_ could resist the allure of that blood…"

"…Well! He certainly sounds like a cheerful fellow!" Brian said brightly.

"No he doesn't," Mr. Fish said.

"I was being sarcastic," Brian said.

"Oh," Mr. Fish said.

"He sounds like really, really bad news," Sheila said nervously.

"That's 'cause he is," Bruce said solemnly.

"He sounds absolutely _wonderful,_" Styx said rapturously. The others gave him disturbed looks.

"ed'Rastekeresket t'k Gh'shestaesteh guards the gates to the Bottomless Ocean," the Sage continued. "To pass, you must give him-"

"One of our own as a sacrifice? I'll do it!" Styx said with more energy and enthusiasm than any of them had ever heard from the Alomomola.

"What? No!" Caserin cried in horror. "I can't let you do that!"

"I see no reason why not," Mack said.

"Mack!" Caserin gasped in disbelief.

"Yeah, neither can I," Brian said.

"Same here. It'll be a lot more peaceful around here without his whining," Sheila said.

"So long as I don't have to eat him, I'm cool with it," Bruce said.

Caserin regarded them all with a shocked look on his face. "H-how can you speak of him so callously? Styx is our friend!"

"He's also incredibly annoying and useless," Mr. Fish said. "Plus, he wants to die, so why not let him do it and make himself useful for a change?"

"But-but-" Caserin protested.

"It's the Circle of Life, lad. Some creatures have to die so that others may live," Mack said, patting the stunned Caserin on the back patronizingly. "It's the way of things."

"…Actually, I was going to say that to pass, you need to give him this amulet," the Sage said, taking off his crown and exposing his incredibly bald head as he rummaged through his hat for a moment before pulling out what looked like a rather large Sharpedo tooth hanging from a cord.

Bruce flinched back in alarm. "Th-that's one of ed'Rastekeresket t'k Gh'shestaesteh's teeth! I can sense it! It makes my own teeth itch and ache…and my blood is singing..._death…death…hunger…_" He started drooling again, prompting the others to move another few feet away.

"If you present this talisman to ed'Rastekeresket t'k Gh'shestaesteh, he shall grant you passage to the Bottomless Ocean," the Sage said, tossing the necklace to Caserin, who caught it in his mouth.

"Then we _don't_ have to offer him a sacrifice?" Styx asked, looking heartbroken.

"No, you don't," the Sage said. The Alomomola sagged, looking even more depressed than usual.

"We could still throw him to the big guy on our way out if he puts up too much of a fuss," Mr. Fish muttered to Sheila.

The Samurott nodded in agreement. "I'll keep that in mind."

"Thank you very much, Mr. Sage!" Caserin mumbled around the necklace in his mouth. He swam over to Mack and put it around the not-Basculin's head, much to his surprise. "Here, Mack! You can hold onto this, since I trust you the most!"

"I…um…thanks…" Mack stammered, feeling that odd twinge of guilt again. What was wrong with him?

"I wish you luck in your journey, my friends. You still have a long and dangerous road ahead of you…but it is a quest for love, and so it will be worthwhile in the end," the Sage said.

"Oh, I know that," Caserin said with a warm smile. "I'm a Luvdisc, after all. Love is the most important thing in the world to us!"

"Or so you keep telling us…all the time…" Brian muttered.

"Hey, your Sagacityness-" Mr. Fish started.

"I don't think that's a word," Sheila said.

The red Gyarados ignored her. "I don't suppose you can use your mystic know-how to tell us how this journey of ours is going to end, is it?"

The Sage paused, and then nodded reluctantly. "I can, but I am not sure you will like what I have to say."

"Tell us! We can handle it!" Bruce boasted.

The Sage sighed. "Very well. Your quest shall end in a victory for love…"

"Oh, thank goodness!" Caserin cried.

"There, that's not so bad," Bruce said.

"But before that, one of you will die…and one of you will betray your friends," the Sage said gravely.

"…Okay, that's a bit worse," Bruce said.

"One of us is going to die?" Sheila cried in alarm.

"Oh, I hope it's me!" Styx said, perking up again. As much as he could perk up, anyway.

"And one of us is going to betray the others? That's impossible! I trust all my friends! They would never turn on each other! Well, feeding Styx to that giant Sharpedo notwithstanding!" Caserin said.

Mack laughed nervously, eyes darting about. "Hahahaha…yes…that would never happen…"

The Sage shrugged. "Believe what you will. I have foreseen these events, and one way or another, they will pass."

"Though maybe not in the way we expect?" Brian asked hopefully. "As in, when one of us 'dies' you really mean they'll change somehow into someone completely different and who they were before will 'die', and when you say 'betray' it'll be more of a metaphorical betrayal in that they will do something astonishing we never thought them capable of that will completely change the way we look at them rather than an actual backstabbing?"

"No, it's going to be an actual death and an actual act of treason," the Sage said bluntly.

Brian paled. "Ah."

"We'll…we'll keep that in mind," Sheila said uneasily.

"See that you do," the Sage said with a solemn nod. "Go now. I have much to meditate on, and pants to enjoy, and you still have a ways to go before you reach the Bottomless Ocean."

Caserin nodded. "Very well. I pray that you are wrong in your foresight, wise one, but we shall remember your words and your guidance all the same. Thank you for your help."

"It was a pleasure to be of assistance, young one," the Slowking said. "Go forth, in the name of love."

"I will. All right…so, let's go, guys! Off to the Bottomless Ocean we go!" Caserin declared, submerging.

There was a pause. Nobody followed him. After a moment, Caserin resurfaced, looking rather embarrassed. "Um…which way is it to the Bottomless Ocean again?"

The Sage chuckled in amusement. "It's that way," he said, pointing towards the horizon.

"Right! Off we go!" Caserin said, diving again.

Bruce sighed. "Here we go again…wonder how long it'll take for us to get lost this time."

"You know, this wouldn't be a problem if you hadn't eaten the map," Mr. Fish said.

"For the last time, it was an accident! You're never gonna let me hear the end of that, are you?" Bruce asked angrily. He and the Gyarados both dove, still bickering.

Sheila shook her head in amusement. "Come on, let's go break them up before there's blood in the water and Bruce forgets he's on a diet."

"If he does, I'll throw myself into his path so that the rest of you can make it to safety," Styx said.

"…Yeah. See that you do," Brian said, unnerved.

They dove as well. Mack was about to follow suit when the Sage stopped him. "Mack Salmon…Caserin places a great deal of trust and faith in you. You know that, yes?"

"…Yes," Mack said reluctantly. "I know."

"Be careful not to betray that trust," the Sage said.

Mack narrowed his eyes. "I will do whatever I please," he said coldly. "Have fun with your new pants."

"Oh, I will," the Sage said as Mack sank into the ocean, leaving him alone on his rock. He smiled and rubbed his pants fondly, loving the feeling of its texture on his skin. "You can be most certain of that."

…

Elsewhere in the world…

The city was in chaos. Pokémon ran, screaming, from the monsters rampaging through the streets, creatures that only superficially resembled regular Pokémon with the addition of unusual coloration as well as extra limbs and other appendages formed from what looked like large black three-dimensional tattoos. Politoed with huge taloned feet hopped about, spawning sinister Poliwags. Mightyena with skeletal claws and tails dashed about, barking and snapping at people's heels. Mighty Ursaring with huge bony arms ripped cars apart and smashed through buildings. Swoobat and ravens with tattooed heads and talons swooped about, squeaking and chattering and breaking windows with their sonic attacks. Minccino with wings like scythes darted about, slicing things to pieces. Sandshrew with claws more like their more evolved relatives tore through pavement. Empoleons with tattoo wings waddled about, quacking and spitting ice blasts. Frillish with barbed tentacles lashed out, stinging and poisoning. Kangaskhan with monstrous heads made of tattoos poking out of their stomach pouches hopped about. Sharpedos emerged from tattooed water that appeared on the ground to snap and bite at anyone unlucky enough to be standing nearby. Ninetales with tails made of tattoos transformed into giant tattoo dragons and blasted everything before them along with actual Salamences with tattooed wings, heads, and tails. Rhyhorns with huge tattooed blade horns stampeded all over the place alongside massive Mamoswine with tattooed forelegs and trunks like a Donphan. There were also some tattooed Tepigs running around that didn't seem to be causing any damage, but nobody really paid much attention to them due to all the havoc the other monsters were causing.

And amidst all the destruction, a Ludicolo with a gigantic two-toned afro that his sombrero was comically balanced on top of, a golden sequin-studded leisure suit, and garish glasses was dancing to a Latin-themed beat booming from a stereo held by his henchmons, a tattooed Exploud and Dusclops. "Fuhohohoho! Oh yeah! This is so sweet!" he whooped as he hopped and twirled about madly. "The mad vibes my Noise are churning out have got me in a dancing mood! Whoo!"

"This is excellent, Master Miror B…the fear and anguish our Noise are generating in the populace will feed Lady Divatox with more of the negative energy she needs to prepare her ultimate comeback tour, the one that will take the world by storm!" the Dusclops, Trudly, said eagerly.

"And best of all, those meddling Poké Rangers haven't showed up yet to stop us!" the Exploud, Folly, added enthusiastically.

"NOT SO FAST, MIROR B!" several voices shouted in unison.

The Ludicolo, Miror B, stumbled in mid-step and facepalmed before glaring at Folly. "You just _had_ to say that, didn't you?"

"Eheheh…sorry…" the Exploud said apologetically.

The dance beat and screams of the innocent were drowned out by the roar of an engine and the screech of rubber on asphalt as a totally radical truck with a crimson cab and titanium trailer with the logo for the Pokérockers, a screaming flaming Jigglypuff skull with flaming musical notes spewing from her mouth and a flaming Arbok sprouting from her flaming eyeholes spitting flaming venom while the flames trailing from the skull spelled out the band's name in big letters of fire painted on the side drove up the street, turrets on its top and sides firing plasma blasts and rockets at the Noise harassing the townsPokémon, destroying them in bursts of static and causing the citizens to cheer, before screaming and diving out of the way before they could get run over by the truck, which wasn't slowing down in the slightest. Unafraid of the intruder to the scene, one of the Mamoswine monsters pawed the ground with a hoof before charging forwards, intending to knock the truck off the road. The extremely awesome vehicle kept barreling down the street towards it, firing its weapons all the while, the blasts only ricocheting harmlessly off the monster's thick hide. The Mamoswine lowered its head so its tusks were pointing forwards to impale the cab on its tips. The distance between the two unstoppable forces narrowed significantly as they rapidly ate up the road between them, neither yielding in this game of Torchic. Finally, they collided…

And the Mamoswine gave away, exploding in a burst of static as the truck smashed through it without a second thought or a moment's hesitation, running over the remaining Noise in its path as it rapidly approached the horrified Miror B before hitting the brakes, filling the streets with an ear-splitting squeal as rubber burned and the truck fishtailed, its trailer swinging out beside it and smashing through a few storefronts and more Noise and leaving long skid marks in its wake before finally coming to a halt only inches away from the Ludicolo, the stunned villain finding himself face-to-face with the burning skull of the band's logo. Pale in the face, he staggered back as the trailer emitted a pneumatic hiss and its side swung upwards, mist pouring out as a fully equipped stage complete with lights, lasers, fog machines, SFX, rocket launchers, a big display screen on the back wall, and all sorts of other goodies was revealed. The entire crew of the Pokérockers, including roadies, stood on the stage, smug looks on their faces as the terror on Miror B's face grew. "N-no…not you guys! What are you doing here?" he demanded.

"Heh, he asks what we're doing here. Is he really that stupid?" Heavy G chortled.

"You really gotta ask?" Heavy F said with a smirk.

"We're here to do what we always do to the forces of evil…make them taste rock-and-roll _justicia!_" Hombre said.

"And put a stop to that awful music you're playing, so the people of this city can hear some good tunes again!" Buzz the keyboardist, who'd been out sick during most of the Mt. Battle debacle and only showed up at the end with the Explouzord, said.

"Awful music? It's _your_ music that's lousy, not mine!" Miror B said indignantly.

"Heh, you think so, do you? Well then, let's put it to the test!" J-Pop said, twirling her microphone about. "The Brock, start the transformation song!"

"You got it, boss!" The Brock, whom the band had hired to be their driver, said from the truck cab, pressing a button on his dashboard and causing the speakers on the stage to start pumping out a catchy and very loud song that flung Miror B and his flunkies back as well as shattering every Noise (and window, and eardrum) for several blocks.

As the music played, J-Pop and the others raised their instruments into the air. "Henshin!" they shouted, making a series of complicated hand or tail movements. "Magical Music Makeup Power-up! Musirangers on the air!"

The microphone, guitar, 'drums,' and keyboard glowed. There was a blinding flash of light and suddenly all of the Pokérockers, including the roadies and tech guys and backup singers and Mizu and The Brock were wearing colorful form-fitting spandex outfits with visored helmets, a cape or scarf thrown in, and the symbols for musical notes embossed on their chests.

The pink-clad tiara-wearing J-Pop raised her instrument, now transformed into a scepter with a golden microphone at the top, into the air. "MusiPink!" Pink smoke and flames and musical notes exploded behind her.

Hombre, who was now wearing green spandex with a red scarf tied around his neck, jammed on his guitar, which was now much fancier-looking with jewels and studs and sequins and flamethrowers worked into it. "MusiGreen!" Green smoke and leaves and musical notes exploded behind him.

Iwark, each segment of his body wrapped in black spandex with a short red cape tied to the back of his 'neck', beat on Heavy G and Heavy F, who had somehow transformed into a pair of actual metal drums with their faces engraved on them. "MusiBlack!" Black smoke and rock dust and musical notes exploded behind him.

Buzz, now wrapped in yellow spandex with black lightning stripes and lightning bolt-shaped horns, hunched, over, fists clenched, before standing up straight, flinging his arms back, and bringing them down with a slam on his keyboard, which was now attached to a harness that held it right in front of his torso at the perfect level to play on, the keys lighting up and playing sweet electronic tones. "MusiYellow!" Yellow smoke and lightning and musical notes exploded behind him.

The Loudred sound techs and living sound systems Meg and Amp were now in matching purple spandex with big holes for their giant mouths. They opened those mouths wide and belted out some incredibly powerful purple-tinged sound waves "MusiPurple One and Two!" Purple smoke and sound waves and musical notes exploded behind them.

Jackie the Hitmonlee, the Pokérocker's head bodyguard, was now in brown spandex with big clawed boots that fit his oversized feet. He jabbed his legs about in a series of rapid high-speed kicks, twirled about, and struck a dramatic pose. "MusiBrown!" Brown smoke and glitter and musical notes exploded behind him.

"MusiExtras!" All the other Pokemon who didn't actually sing or perform shouted. Gray smoke and glitter and musical notes exploded behind them.

"MusiManager," Mizu, now wearing blue spandex, said with a sigh. Blue smoke and bubbles and musical notes exploded behind her.

"MusiDriver!" The Brock, who was now wearing gray spandex with his trucker's hat still on, declared. He waited a moment, but there was no explosion, which probably made sense, since he was currently sitting in the truck cab and something like that would probably be catastrophic in this tight space. He sighed, unable to keep himself from being disappointed. He wondered when he'd ever actually be able to do that transformation outside of his cabin. It would look so cool, and pick him up so many babes…

"Musirangers: rock on!" the transformed Pokerockers shouted, posing dramatically. There was a tremendous explosion behind them.

"Wow, they have really good special effects," Trudly said, impressed.

"Divatox oughta look into getting some like that," Folly agreed.

Miror B gnashed his teeth furiously. "Nonononono! I am not going to let you ruin my plan! I've worked too hard for this!"

"…What plan?" asked the confused Musiblack.

"You mean you had something in store other than just showing up and randomly letting Noise loose on the city?" asked MusiManager.

There was an awkward pause. "Well, uh, I initially planned to broadcast my theme all over the city and use it to force everyone to dance uncontrollably, but Divatox vetoed it for some reason…" Miror B muttered reluctantly.

"Gee, I wonder why," MusiPurple One said sarcastically.

"Well, good to see Divatox has _some_ sense," MusiPurple Two commented.

"Plan or no plan, we are taking you down!" MusiGreen declared.

"Oh, we'll see about that! It's time to make some Noise!" Miror B declared, snapping his fingers. Several large black sigils looking like tattoos of the skulls of various Pokémon species appeared in the air. The sigils glowed, and several dozen Noise materialized from them, their tattooed body parts flexing and ready for battle.

"Ha! You want noise, we'll _give _you noise!" MusiPink shouted, unimpressed. "Musirangers, _rock out!_" Singing battle cries while their theme song played from the trailer's speakers, they charged into battle against the Noise. The MusiExtras took on the Noise with MusiManager directing them from the trailer's stage and monning its weapons while the other Rangers with specific colors and actual names headed directly for Miror B. MusiDriver stayed in the truck, much to his chagrin.

"Ack! Seven against one? That's no fair!" Miror B cried in alarm when the more colorful Rangers confronted him. "Trudly, Folly, get over here so we can even the odds!"

"Right away, boss!" Trudly and Folly chorused, rushing over to stand beside their master.

"What, you're bringing them in? Like they're gonna help!" Musiblack snorted.

"Fine, if you want to be such a baby about it…MusiPurple One and Two, take care of the chump change while we deal with Mr. Afro!" MusiBrown ordered.

"You got it!" the costumed Loudreds chorused, rushing forward to engage Miror B's henchmon.

The Ludicolo sweatdropped nervously when he saw he was all alone again. "Oh…uh…five against one. Well…that's a little better…I guess…"

"Yeah…for us, since it means we don't have to share you with as many people!" MusiBlack taunted. Everyone stared at him. "What?"

"…Um, that kinda sounded…bad," MusiPink said.

"Huh? Why?" MusiBlack asked.

"It could sort of be taken the, how you say…wrong way?" MusiGreen suggested.

"Wrong way? What do you…" Under his visor, MusiBlack's eyes widened. "Oh. _Oh_. I see. Um. Sorry."

"You should be! I don't swing that way, anyway!" Miror B said.

"Really? Could've fooled me," MusiBrown said.

Miror B gasped. "Why you…okay, that does it! Let the music play!...oh, never mind that. We'll battle right away!" He pulled out a pair of maracas big and spiky enough to be maces and lunged at the Rangers. They immediately jumped out of the way, except for MusiBlack, who couldn't really since he was an Onix, and so he was the first target of Miror B's wrath.

Unfortunately for the Ludicolo, since he was an Onix, the villain's blows didn't really do much to him. "Huh. Was that supposed to do anything?" MusiBlack asked boredly.

Miror B paled. "Oh crap." MusiBlack snapped his tail around, striking the Ludicolo in the gut and sending him hurtling away. "Uwaaaaaaahhhhh!"

"MusiBrown, go long!" MusiPink shouted.

"I'm on it!" the Hitmonlee replied, running after and swiftly overtaking the flying Miror B thanks to the super speed his powerful legs gave him. He skidded to a halt several dozen meters away, crouched down to build up the power in his leg muscles, and sprung into the air, intercepting the wailing Miror B and flinging him upwards with a Hi Jump Kick to his back. The Ludicolo screamed louder as he was flung high into the air, flailing wildly and feeling kind of sick, a sensation that grew much worse on his way back down when MusiBrown lashed out with several dozen Double Kicks in the span of a few short seconds, finishing it up with a Rolling Kick that flung him towards the ground, ripping up pavement as he tore through the street from the power behind the bodyguard's kick.

"Uuhhhh…that's gonna leave a mark…" the Ludicolo moaned. Abruptly, a shadow fell over him, and his eyes bulged when he saw MusiBlack looming over him, tail rising to crush him. He squealed in alarm and quickly rolled out of the furrow he'd left in the street just before he could get flattened by the Onix's tail. "Ack! And that would have left an even worse one!"

"You think that's bad, wait'll you get a load of this!" MusiPink cried as she and MusiGreen dropped down and struck Miror B with their microphone and guitar, causing the Ludicolo to stumble back as sparks flew from where the weapons had struck his body. (Why did that always happen, anyway?)

"Or this!" MusiYellow cried as he struck Miror B in the back with a Thunderpunch uppercut, sending him flying into the air. He didn't get very far, though, because MusiBrown intercepted him and spiked him to the ground with a Mega Kick, smashing him into the street hard enough to crater it.

"Oh mon…this is…getting old…" Miror B moaned from the crater.

"You're telling me! You're barely even putting up a fight!" MusiBlack commented as he slithered into view, drawing his head back in preparation to lunge forward and crush the Ludicolo beneath his weight.

"Oh yeah? Well…that ends now!" Miror B shouted, opening his beak and spitting a Hydro Pump at the Onix, causing the Rock Snake to reel back in alarm, blubbering as the water splashed over him. Taking advantage of MusiBlack's weakness, the Ludicolo pulled himself out of the ground and leaped into the air, raising his spiked maracas high to smash into the Onix's face…

When MusiBrown intercepted him once more, sending him flying into a building with another powerful kick. "Not so fast! Nobody hurts my friends!"

"I'll…keep that in mind…" Miror B stammered in a daze as he staggered away from the building. "NOT!" His eyes flashed as he used Giga Drain, balls of green energy tearing themselves out of the Rangers' bodies accompanied by cries of agony and flying into his mouth, causing his body to glow green as his wounds healed themselves. "Fuhohohoho! That's _much_ better! And so's this!" He started dancing, wildly shaking his maracas about. A large storm cloud formed above them and began pouring acidic rain down on the Rangers, who cried out as the poisonous water sizzled against their spandex. "Fuhohoho! What do you think of _that_ Rangers?"

"I think the forecast calls for heavy thunderstorms!" MusiYellow cried, slamming his fingers down on his keyboard and firing a powerful Thunderbolt at Miror B. Thanks to the heightened accuracy granted by the Rain Dance, the Electric attack streaked across the street and into Miror B's body, causing him to convulse in agony as thousands of volts of electricity coursed through him, causing him to lose focus and making the acid rain dissipate.

"With a strong chance of hail!" MusiBlack said, pounding on his drum set. Several large pieces of rock tore themselves out of the ground and flung themselves at Miror B, pulverizing him.

"And a one-hundred percent likelihood of your ass getting whupped by the power of rock and roll!" MusiPink cried as she shrieked into her microphone, MusiGreen jammed on his guitar, and MusiYellow's fingers danced across his keyboard, sending a powerful triple sonic blast slamming into Miror B with enough force to send him flying in a mighty explosion…

That also completely destroyed his afro. "No! My hair! My beautiful hair!" Miror B cried in horror as he saw tufts of red and white hair drifting down from the sky like snowflakes and patting his head underneath his sombrero, realizing much to his dismay that he now had a very large bald spot. "What have you doooooooone?"

"Given you a much-needed haircut!" MusiPink quipped.

"You…you'll pay for this!" Miror B shrieked. "Trudly, Folly, destroy them! Avenge my 'fro!"

Unfortunately, his minions wouldn't get the chance to come to his aid. "Sorry, but your minions aren't gonna come to your aid!" MusiPurple one said as the Exploud and Dusclops, worn out and dazed from the beating the two purple Rangers had given them, staggered and tried to remain standing.

"Let's finish them with our super combo-attack!" MusiPurple Two said. They joined their right and left hands together, wound their arms back, took a deep breath, and then flung their clasped fists forward. "Musical Fist!" A tremendous blast of purple sound waves shot from their fists and slammed into Trudly and Folly, battering them with tremendous sonic power until they could take no more and exploded, because that's what Pokémon do when you hit them with strong enough sound blasts, apparently.

"Noooo! My boys! You not only killed my afro, but you killed my boys!" Miror B squealed.

"You got that right! And now it's your turn!" MusiYellow said.

"N-not so fast! I've still got my Noise army!" Miror B said. Nothing happened. "I _said_, I've still got my Noise-waaaaaahhhhhh!" He quickly jumped out of the way as a Garchomp Noise crashed down right where he had been standing and exploded in a burst of static. He gawked in horror when he looked around and saw that there were no Noise in sight, nothing but the MusiExtras in various poses and lots of property damage. "You killed my Noise, too?"

"Of course we did! Because that's what we do!" MusiBlack said.

"…But we're the ones who killed all the Noise…" one of the MusiExtras whined.

"Let it go, they're the heroes, so they always get all the credit. We're nothing more than mooks," another MusiExtra said bitterly.

"Then how are we any different from the monsters we destroy?" the first one asked existentially.

"We get paid?" his friend suggested.

"…Eh, good enough for me," the MusiExtra said.

"And now that all your goons are gone, it's time to finish you off!" MusiManager shouted from the stage. "All Rangers, on the stage, front and center!"

"YEAH!" the Rangers yelled as they leaped into the air and landed back on the stage, with the Rangers possessing instruments standing at the front, surrounded by the ones who didn't, with MusiBrown standing somewhat awkwardly off to the side. Holo-projectors in the truck's sides activated, causing the devastated city block to transform into a packed open-air stadium full of thousands of screaming fans, much to the confusion and surprise of Miror B, who immediately found himself lost in the crowd.

"Time for the grand finale!" MusiPink declared as the rock theme that had been playing in the background hit a high note and the illusionary fans cheered. "Rock Star Legendary Dream!"

She, MusiGreen, MusiYellow, and MusiBlack started going wild on their instruments as tons of lasers and rockets and other wicked SFX activated on the stage, lighting up the fake stadium city for miles. The lasers and rockets zigzagged through the before locking onto Miror B and streaking right towards him. The Ludicolo screamed and tried to make a break for it, but was packed in too tightly by all the raving fans, who didn't seem particularly fazed by their impending destruction. The missiles struck the area where Miror B was standing, creating a powerful explosion that flung the screaming Ludicolo up into the air. Spotlights mounted on the framework of the stage pivoted to focus their beams on him as the lead Rangers continued to churn out epic rock. One after another, the MusiExtra leaped into the air towards Miror B, holograms appearing over them to cause them to look like rock legends of the past just before they struck the Ludicolo, causing him to get attacked by what had to be just about every great rock and roll musician who had ever lived, one by one.

Once all the MusiExtras had attacked, their trajectory carrying them past the villain and back to the ground the lead Rangers leaped into the air, still playing their instruments all the while. MusiBrown lashed out with a powerful kick. MusiBlack smashed his drums into Miror B's head in a flurry of rocks. MusiYellow slammed his keyboard over the Ludicolo's head, creating an electrical explosion. MusiGreen broke his guitar over Miror B's head in a shower of leaves. Once all of them had struck and passed by Miror B, MusiPink rose up to finish the job, microphone raised over her head, the tip bursting into pink flames. "ROOOOOCK…DAMASHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" she screamed as she slammed the burning instrument into Miror B's face. The impact sent Miror B flying high into the air, the spotlights still trained on him as MusiPink gracefully descended into the illusionary mosh pit that had caught her teammates, the ecstatic holographic fans eagerly grabbing her as she fell and putting her safely on the ground. As the fans put the rest of the team on the ground and backed away, the Musirangers struck a pose, and far above them Miror B exploded in a spectacular display of fireworks, while the rock anthem that had been playing all along reached its climax and came to a stop. The fans roared in delight, cheering and applauding so loudly the Rangers could barely hear themselves think.

Up on the stage, MusiManager grinned. "Musirangers, victory is ours!"

In the cab, MusiDriver sighed. "And still The Brock gets no action. The Brock thought he'd be getting a lot more babes when he signed up for this gig."

Unfortunately, even though Miror B, Trudly, Folly, and the Noise army had been destroyed, the battle was far from over. From her throne on the stage in her Dark Ampitheater in the sub-dimension where she was imprisoned, the Musirangers' nemesis Divatox sneered at the projection which had shown her the battle that had just taken place hovering before her. "Hmmph…it looks like Miror B failed, just as I expected," the arch-villainess sneered. She was a Meloetta, a demigoddess of the arts with a feminine anthropomorphic figure with musical bar-style streaks in her ankle-length purple hair held back in a ponytail, quarter notes for her arms and hands, and pupil-less red eyes resembling whole notes. She had a red jewel on her forehead and a black headpiece that looked like a microphone attached to the side of her ovular head, with a golden mask covering one of her eyes. She wore armor that consisted of a black, gold, and red corset that exposed her midriff, gold shoulder plates, a red cape attached to a high collar that covered the back of her head, and a short tattered skirt. She wore black leather gloves that extended past her elbows and long black boots that came up to her knees. She also had a necklace made of gold coins and little skulls, many rings on her gloved hands, and a gold gauntlet on her left arm. Black tattoos resembling the ones on the Noise swirled across her pale green skin. "Oh well. Time to show those Rangers what a _real_ showstopper looks like!"

The Noise filling every seat of the amphitheater applauded and cheered raucously as Divatox rose from her throne and snapped her fingers (Despite not having any. Don't think about it too hard.). Two Empoleon Noise waddled over to her from backstage carrying a large guitar case between them wrapped in chains, the case rattling and shaking ominously. They stopped in front of her and bowed, extending their flippers to hold the case out in offering. With a smirk, Divatox swiped a hand through the air, causing the chains to shatter. The case flew open in a blast of purple-black flames, revealing an electric guitar that looked like it was made from the twisted bones and sinews of some demonic creature, which wasn't far from the truth. A sinister grin spread across her face as the guitar levitated out of the case and into her hands. She stroked it as if it were a lover, the instrument of death and destruction shuddering and seeming to purr under her touch.

As she caressed the guitar, she snapped her fingers again, and spotlights snapped on behind her, illuminating her four band mates: the unimaginably massive bipedal horned Mareep with tattoo horns growing from his back and tattoo spikes on his knuckles named Higashizawa on a keyboard that looked more like some kind of giant demonic pipe organ, the black bipedal Luxray with gray tattoos making up his lower legs and tail named Minamimoto on a bass guitar made out of tattoos, a slender bipedal yellow Persian covered in black stripes with tattoo wings and a tail named named Konishi on vocals, and a giant crimson Arbok with a tattooed hood named Kitanji on drums. The Noise in the audience cheered ecstatically as Divatox gave a savage fanged grin and declared, "It's time to give Miror B an encore performance! A one, a two, a one two three four!" Her hand swung down across the strings of her guitar, triggering a massive power chord that set the monstrous Noise behind her playing while the audience went wild and Konishi began to sing, the sound waves they were generating actually turning visible and taking on an eerie resemblance to the Noise tattoos. The savage music from the evil band washed over the joyous Noise in the Audience, echoed throughout the Dark Ampitheater, and tore through the dimensional barrier into the Pokémon world, bathing the city in its sound.

The Musirangers looked up in alarm as Divatox's tunes rang out around them, knowing something bad—and entirely expected—was about to happen. "Everyone, brace yourselves, you know what's coming!" MusiManager declared.

MusiBlack sighed. "Ah mon, why do we gotta do this every time? Can't she just let her minion stay dead for a change rather than bringing it back as a giant monster?"

"It would go against the formula. As a Poké Rangers villain, I think she is contractually obligated to do it this way," MusiGreen said.

"I guess…still, I wouldn't mind _not_ fighting a giant monster for once…you know, for a change of pace," MusiBlack grumbled.

"What, are you serious? Fighting giant monsters is awesome!" MusiYellow said.

"Then get ready, because we're about to fight one!" MusiPink said as an evil-looking ring of black sigils centered around the image of a skull formed on the ground nearby. The ring glowed with a black light, the ground shook, and a whole mess of Noise tattoos flowed out of the skull and into the air, weaving around each other and intertwining and solidifying to take on a massive, monstrous, and _familiar_ form.

The tattoos hardened, glowed, and shattered, revealing a gigantic Miror B covered in Noise tattoos, with his afro restored to its full glory. "Fuhohohohoho!" the gargantuan Ludicolo boomed, shattering what few remaining windows in the city weren't already broken. "I'm back, Rangers! Did you miss me?"

"No!" they all shouted at the monster.

He recoiled, taken aback. "Wh-what? Not even a little? Why you…all right, fine! I'll destroy you, along with this stupid city! Let the music play!" His awful theme started playing once again, and he started dancing, his cavorting and prancing about causing tremors due to his immense size that shook the city, toppling skyscrapers, tearing up the streets, and sending Pokémon fleeing for their lives.

The Musirangers cried out in alarm and clung to anything they could to keep from being knocked out of the truck. "Ack! And I thought his dancing was bad _before!_" MusiBrown complained.

"Summon the Megazord, so we can put a stop to this guy's moves once and for all!" MusiManager shouted at MusiPink.

The spandex-clad Jigglypuff nodded. "Right! Arise, Explouzord!" She held her microphone to her mouthplate and started singing, "La, Lala, Lalala! La, Lala, Lalala!" The ocean the city was conveniently built right next to churned and bubbled, and with a great spray of seawater and foam a towering purple robot Exploud lurched out of the water and began wading towards shore, roaring as it climbed onto the beach and began stomping through the streets towards the heroes.

"Garuda, come on down!" MusiGreen cried, playing a sweet riff on his guitar. There was a twinkle of light in the sky, and suddenly a great mechanical Yanmega swooped down towards the city, screeching like a giant bird rather than the enormous robot insect it was.

"Combine together!" MusiBlack and MusiYellow shouted, beating on their drums and keyboard. The eyes of the two beasts flashed, and the robots bellowed as fast-paced Japanese music started blaring from the onboard speakers of both machines.

The Musirangers struck a series of poses. "MEGAMODE POWER!" they cried in unison, their spandex flashing and transforming into shiny colored armor the same hue as their costumes. They leaped impossibly high into the air and somehow landed inside of the Explouzord. The band members were shunted throughout the giant mecha to their respective control centers via rapid-transit tubes. MusiPink landed in a seat in a chamber behind the Explouzord's mouth, where MusiPurple One and Two were waiting, with huge and complex machinery rammed down their throats, plugging their vocal cords into the Explouzord's loudspeakers. The Jigglypuff pulled wires out of the bottom of her scepter and plugged them into the sockets on either Loudred's back, causing a faint whine to reverberate through the machinery. "Sonic Amplificators operational!"

MusiGreen and MusiBrown appeared in a small two-tiered room. MusiGreen briefly put down his guitar and stretched out his arms. Cybernetic gauntlets shot out of the wall, connected to the robot's systems by a meshwork of interconnected wires and cables, and slid onto the Lombre's arms, sensors connecting to his neural centers and giving him total control over the Explouzord's arms. Similar legwear shot out of the floor and onto the Hitmonlee's legs, giving him total control over the robot's legs. MusiGreen picked his guitar back up as lights on the ceiling and floor switched on around him. "All motor functions are go! We are all ready!" the Lombre said.

"Let's kick ass!" MusiBrown added.

MusiBlack and his drums were lowered into a room closer to the robot's back. The two drum Pokemon landed into specially designed holders which closed clamps over them, locking them into place. MusiBlack banged his drumstick on the transformed Heavy F and Heavy G gleefully. "Rhythmic harmonizers online!"

MusiYellow, along with the MusiExtras, landed in a special engine room in the bowels of the robot. MusiYellow fell into an electric chair which fastened numerous wires and electrodes to his body and keyboard, and the muscular sidekicks dropped onto treadmills. "Aw, mon…why do I _always _gotta be hooked up to the generators?" MusiYellow grumbled, scratching his itchy yellow spandex outfit. He sighed and flipped a switch, causing several copies of the swimsuit issue of 'Bodybuilders Biweekly', featuring a lovely female Mienshao in a thong on the front cover, to dangle from the ceiling in front of the treadmill Pokemon, causing them to eagerly start running in hopes that they could reach the magazines, generating power for the robot. "Energy boosters activated!"

MusiManager, arms crossed in determination, rose up an elevator shaft into a special, high-tech single-Pokémon control center somewhere high up in the Explouzord. There were flashing lights and blinking buttons on consoles surrounding her in 360 degrees, with several monitors displaying footage from inside the robot as well as outside and racks holding what had to be thousands of different CDs revolving slowly around the walls. "Command center ready!" She produced a long, prismatic key. "Pokcrystal ignition!" She drove it into a specially designed keyhole.

"Pokécrystal ignition!" the band members echoed, sliding crystals into their own keyholes.

The giant robot started shaking and glowing as special servos whirred and pistons pumped within it. The two long tails separated from the rear and flew towards the front, each one splitting into cylindrical halves as it did so. The fourths attached themselves to the ends of the legs and arms, extending them and giving them fancy gold wrists and ankles, while the original lower arms and legs flexed, hidden hinges revealing themselves and forming new joints while the old ones locked rigidly in place. New, boot-shaped feet and five-fingered hands extended from these limb extensions. The Exploud's gaping mouth was filled by a giant stereo system with huge loudspeakers covering its surface. The red eyes on the chest rolled upwards, and the top of the Explouzord's head flipped open, revealing a vaguely feminine humanoid metal face with blue eyes, a faceplate, and a Pokéball symbol on the forehead.

"GARUDAAAA!" the Musirangers called with one voice.

The giant Yanmega buzzed and spun around the Exploud, splitting into multiple parts as it did so: tail and abdomen, two of its wings, and head. The two split-off wings flew around and attached themselves to the transformed Explouzord's back, providing it with flight. The head attached itself to the robot's own head, creating a helmet with the giant red bug eyes on the side, looking oddly like headphones. The remaining wings on Garuda's body swiveled forward to create bladed angles as laser strings formed down the length of its tail, landing in the robot's hands and now looking like nothing less than a giant vaguely insectoid guitar. A tremendous explosion erupted behind the combined mecha as the Japanese music reached its climax. "MUSIRANGERS SONIC MEGAZORD GOOOOO!"

They weren't done just yet, though. "Heavy Metal Mode Power! Summon Mamoswine Zord!" MusiGreen cried as his green armor gained lots of spikes, chains, skulls, horns, and other accoutrements that made him look totally metal, playing a riff on his guitar and causing the Megazord to do the same thing on its giant instrument.

A nearby mountain exploded as a giant gray robot Mamoswine covered in spikes with huge tusks, a skull for a face, and burning chains trailing from a spiked collar around its massive head that was at least twice the side of the Sonic Megazord burst out of the ground and stampeded towards the city, smashing every building in its path. As it approached, the Sonic Megazord backflipped, the Yanmega wings on its back buzzing and lifting it into the air, giving it the height it needed to land neatly on the giant mechanical pig's back rather than get trampled over. The chains rattled and rose into the air, lashing out and wrapping themselves around the Megazord's waist, raising its snout into the air and bellowing into the heavens as explosions ripped through the streets around it.

And that _still_ wasn't the end! "Okay, now it's my turn!" MusiDriver said excitedly. "MegaMode Power! Amp Zord!" His spandex turned into sleek gray armor, and his trucker's hat turned into a trucker's helmet as he inserted a key into the dashboard and turned it, causing the engine to rev loudly as he activated something deep in its cylinders. The trailer rotated ninety degrees upwards so it was now on top of the cab, which strangely wasn't crushed by its weight. A divider went down the middle of the cab as it was split in two, each half moving a few feet apart from each other while still remaining attached to the trailer. Panels on the sides of the trailer unfolded to reveal long arms on their undersides, a panel on the back end (which was now the top) flipped open to reveal a small black head with purple eyes and a big dial for a mouth. Hatches on the front of the trailer slid open to reveal several extra speakers, and more speakers popped out of other hatches and panels all over the machine. The truck and trailer had now transformed into a vaguely humanoid robot, with the cockpit in the left foot, oddly enough. "The Brock still thinks there should be some kinda elevator in here that takes me into a control center in the head…" MusiDriver grumbled. "But nooooo, apparently there wouldn't be enough _room_ in the head for both a control room and all the sound systems…"

The Amp Zord leaped into the air and landed in a socket just its size on top of the Mamoswine Zord's head, sinking in and locking into place, energy lines pulsating out from the socket to show it was plugged into the Mamoswine Zord's systems. Instantly, numerous hatches popped open all over the Mamoswine's body, missile launchers, laser cannons, and ridiculously oversized speakers popping out. The tusks unfolded to reveal even bigger cannons, more gun barrels poked out of the Mamoswine's nostrils, and even its eyes rolled back to reveal turrets. The Sonic Megazord pulled out a very large cable from the bottom of its guitar and flung it at the Amp Zord, the end of the cable neatly plugging itself into a socket right about where the robot's ass would have been if it had one, much to MusiDriver's chagrin. "HEAVY METALZORD, READY TO ROCK N' ROLL!" the Musirangers shouted as the Sonic Megazord strummed on its guitar, causing lasers, missiles, and sonic waves to blast out in every direction, leveling everything for several miles.

Miror B's eyes bulged so much that they broke his glasses. "Eeeeek! D-don't you think that's a little overkill?" he protested weakly.

"We're a rock-and-roll band! What do you expect?" MusiBlack laughed.

"Although we could maybe try and cut down a little on the property damage…" MusiManager muttered, glancing around at the devastation they'd caused.

"W-well…um…I have a few tricks still up my sleeve, too! Like this!" Miror B declared, starting another dance. With a rumble, a large storm cloud formed above the Heavy Metal Megazord, opening up and pouring several hundred gallons of acidic rain on the giant mecha. The robot shook and convulsed, sparks flying off it as the deadly rain impacted on its hull.

"Waaaahhh! I thought this thing was waterproof!" MusiBrown wailed as the Megazord shook and he nearly lost his footing.

"It is, it's just not acidproof!" MusiBlack replied.

"Don't worry, I've got this!" MusiManager said. She snatched a CD from one of the many racks scrolling past her and inserted it into a music player on her control panel. "Music Disc, slot in!" The Heavy Metalzord flexed and pawed at the ground as yellow lights ran all around its body.

"Ooh, that should do the trick!" MusiPink said, recognizing the lyrics appearing on her display at once. "Ready, guys?"

"Ready!" her teammates chorused. As the tune on the CD started playing all over the robot, the band began playing 'Here Comes the Sun.' The Sonic Megazord began to strum on its guitar, mimicking MusiGreen's playing, while MusiPink's beautiful singing, MusiBlack's drums, and MusiYellow's keys rang out from the many speakers sprouting from the body of the giant mecha. With every note from one of the Beetles' most beloved songs that filled the air, the rain began to gradually diminish from a torrent to a drizzle and finally came to a stop. With another rumble, the clouds slowly began to part and fade away, allowing luminous rays of golden sunlight to shine down from above and bathe the city in a radiant glow that beautified everything it touched, causing its inhabitants to look around in awe. Even Miror B was momentarily dumbstruck with wonder by the majestic glow illuminating everything…

Until he realized what it signified. "Oh, crap! My storm's gone! That was my best trick! Contrary to what I said earlier, I've got nothing left!" he cried in horror.

"Whereas _we_ have MORE than enough to spare!" MusiManager declared, selecting another CD from the racks and inserting it into the music player. "Music Disc, slot in! Theme Song Power-up engaged! Initiate Finishing Move!" she cried as the team's theme song, which mainly consisted of MusiPink screaming 'Go, go, Power Rangers! Rangers Together! Rock Band Forever!' repeatedly over raging rock music played throughout the robot and blared from its speakers.

"Oh yeah! Here we go!" MusiBlack said excitedly as he beat a mad rhythm on his drums.

MusiGreen's fingers danced across the strings and fretboard of his guitar, headbanging to the music inside his head and filling the room. "Let us do this! Heavy Metal Mega Rock Buster!"

The Amp Zord reached up to the dial on its face and turned it until it pointed to 11. The Mamoswine Zord roared as the Sonic Megazord rocked out on its back, headbanging just like MusiGreen was as it played its guitar. Every weapon and speaker on its body glowed before firing an unspeakably devastating fusillade of missiles, lasers, and sonic blasts streaking through the air towards the horrified Miror B, slamming into him with an explosion so great it created a mushroom cloud that roared up into the air, sending the screaming Ludicolo flying atop the peak of a skyrocketing pillar of fire. The Mamoswine Zord shook its head and bucked hard, flinging the Sonic Megazord off its back and into the air, the chains binding the two of them together shattering as the Sonic Megazord's Yanmega wings buzzed to life and propelled it higher and higher upwards, shifting its grip on its guitar to hold it by the neck and raising it over its head, flames igniting around the giant instrument's body. Miror B's already-bulging eyes grew even wider when he saw the giant robot fly into view, the mecha rising above him until the Sun was positioned at its back, reducing it to a long-winged silhouette.

A silhouette that was growing larger at an alarming rate as it hurtled towards him, gravity—as well as the pillar of fire flinging him upwards—pushing them towards each other far faster than he would have liked. "No! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he screamed in terror, realizing he was about to die…again!

"BURNING…ROOOOOOOOCKERRRRRR!" The Musirangers screamed as the Sonic Megazord swung its flaming guitar down with all its might, shattering its body against Miror B in an explosion so powerful that it destroyed every window for hundreds of miles and briefly outshone the sun and actually drove a few Pokémon blind and deaf due to how ridiculously bright and loud it was. Wreathed in flames, the blazing Sonic Megazord shot out of the explosion and landed on the ground hard enough to crater it, striking a pose while behind it the Mamoswine Zord reared back on its hind legs and bellowed victoriously and in the background Miror B's remains tumbled down to earth and exploded again. "NOISE ERASED! SEE YOU NEXT CONCERT!" the Musirangers shouted.

In the Dark Ampitheater, the Noise moaned and howled angrily, infuriated that they had lost again. Unbothered, Divatox merely smirked and sat back down on her throne, chuckling as she strummed a few strings on her guitar and silenced her minions with a few chords. "Oh well, so Miror B lost. No big deal. Now we won't have to be bothered by his atrocious dancing and sorry excuse for music anymore. And besides…" She grinned sinisterly. "If I'm to be completely honest with myself, those idiots generate more negative energy fighting us than any of you lot ever could on your own."

The Musirangers seemed to be realizing this themselves as MusiPink declared, "Woohoo, we did it, guys! Another monster defeated, another city saved!"

There was a pause as everyone looked outside at the smoldering ruins and devastated cityscape surrounding them. Smoke rose from countless fires as car alarms and sirens filled the air, mingling with screams for help and cries of agony from those who had been injured by the fallout. "…Maybe I spoke too soon," MusiPink said quietly.

"Another monster defeated, another city completely destroyed," MusiManager said wearily. "You know, it's a good thing our sponsor is so loaded and can pay to repair all the destruction we cause or else we'd have all been incarcerated by now. Or executed."

"Do not worry, senorita, I am sure that one day we will be able to fight a monster without causing just as much damage, if not more, than whatever it is we are fighting against!" MusiGreen said optimistically.

"…Yeah, somehow I'm not quite reassured…" MusiYellow grumbled.

"I strongly recommend we get out of here before the angry mob comes," MusiBrown said.

"What makes you think there'll be one?" MusiPink asked.

"Because there's _always_ an angry mob," MusiBrown said sourly.

"Well, look on the bright side, that must mean we're doing _something_ right," MusiBlack said. "After all, all the best rock bands got run out of town by angry mobs at one point or another. You're not doing it right if you don't piss _somebody_ off!"

MusiManager facepalmed. "For the millionth time, I wonder why I signed on to manage you guys. I knew the instant I laid eyes on you that something was weird about you and that I would be doing myself and everyone else a favor by staying far away from you, but _noooo_, you had to be so fucking charming and handsome, didn't you, Hombre?"

MusiGreen chuckled. "I try."

"So, uh, should The Brock get us out of here?" MusiDriver asked.

MusiManager sighed and leaned back in her chair. "Yeah, let's start moving before they get mobilized enough to come after us with fire and pitchforks and heavy artillery."

"Right! Next city on our tour, coming up!" MusiDriver said, taking the wheel as the Sonic Megazord quickly hopped onto the Mamoswine Zord's back and reattached the bigger robot's chains so it wouldn't fall off as the humongous machine stomped towards the city limits, steered by the armored Golem sitting in a tiny booth on its back that he strongly felt could use air conditioning, among other things.

They didn't get very far, however, before their consoles lit up and holograms of their chief benefactor and source of funding, Dimitria the Meloette, appeared before their eyes. Unlike her evil sister, Divatox, Dimitria had the normal green coloration associated with her kind, but chose to wear a long white robe and veil over her mouth almost all the time, much to the disappointment of most of the band, who wouldn't have minded getting a better look at her body, which was sure to be easy on the eyes if her twin was anything to go by. "Musirangers, I have an important matter to discuss with you-" she started in her mellifluous voice.

"Ack! We're sorry we're sorry we're sorry! We won't do it again!" MusiManager cried desperately, knowing all too well that they probably _would_ be doing it again the next time they had a big fight.

Dimitria blinked in surprise. "Huh? Do what again?"

"…Completely destroy the city we're supposed to be saving?" MusiPink prompted. MusiManager shushed her furiously.

"Oh, that. No, I've grown to expect that from you by now," Dimitria said dismissively with an air of resignation. "Besides, I think you might be improving. You actually left one building standing this time!"

With a ponderous groan, the last skyscraper still standing in one piece leaned over and toppled to the ground, setting off more car alarms and throwing up a huge cloud of dust that mingled with the smoke from all the fires to blot out the sun and cast the city into darkness. Everyone stared at it for a long while. MusiBlack coughed awkwardly. Eye twitching, Dimitria decided to pretend she hadn't seen that and continued with what she was saying.

"Anyway…I require you to make a change in your itinerary. Your next destination is Pokémon Square," Dimitria said.

"Pokémon Square? Hey, isn't that the place in Kanjohenn where the Fighting Four, or Team Aurabolt, or whatever they want to call themselves are from?" MusiPink recalled.

"And the place that the Draconian Empire decided to make a protectorate or something for some reason I don't really remember or care about because I don't pay much attention to the news?" MusiBlack said.

"Funny, I don't remember that being a stop on our tour…" MusiYellow murmured.

"That's because it's not. Or rather, it wasn't until now," Dimitria said. "The tempo of the world is changing, building up to a pitch of unmatched dissonance."

"…Huh?" MusiBlack asked.

"She says something really bad is about to happen," MusiGreen said.

Dimitria nodded. "Indeed. Something even worse than what my sister is capable of."

_That_ got their attention. "Something worse than Divatox? Okay, this sounds serious," MusiManager said in alarm.

"What is it? Ooh, is there going to be an alien invasion so big we're going to have to round up every current and former team of Poké Rangers to combat it in an epic war?" MusiPink asked hopefully.

"Every team of Poké Rangers? Ooh, and with almost 200 of them, including girls—though they seem to be in the minority for some unfathomable reason-there's _got_ to be one who'd be interested in The Brock!" MusiDriver said eagerly.

Dimitria shook her head. "No, that's not it…although now that you mention it, contacting the other Poké Ranger teams and seeing if they can come out of retirement might not be a bad idea. We could probably use their help. I'll see what I can do about that…anyway, have you been paying attention to the news?"

"No," almost all of them said.

Dimitria sighed in exasperation. "Of course you haven't."

"I pay attention to the news," MusiManager said. "But I haven't had a chance to today, what with the Noise attack and all."

"Right. Long story short, there's another evil organization called the Nihilators that's trying to destroy the world," Dimitria began.

"So what?" MusiBrown asked bluntly. "We've already got one of those to deal with. Isn't there some other group of heroes who can take care of it?"

"There is, but they're going to need help, since the Nihilators represent a threat much greater than my sister," Dimitria said. "They are trying to do nothing less than resurrect the Ruler of Evil!"

MusiYellow whistled. "That's gonna be one heck of a comeback tour. Even bigger than your sister's. Won't she be jealous!"

"So you want us to go put a stop to these _malhechores?_" MusiGreen asked. "No problem!"

"Let's go find their hideout and trash it!" MusiBlack bellowed.

"It's on Mars," Dimitria said.

There was an awkward pause. "Oh," MusiBlack said.

"I don't think I can drive us there…" MusiDriver said.

"There must be a song that can give us the power of spaceflight in here somewhere…" MusiManager murmured, scanning her CD racks.

"That won't be necessary. A massive coalition of all the world's nations is planning on sending a task force to Mars to deal with the Nihilators," Dimitria said. "However, since they are sending so many of their armed forces off world, there's a strong chance the Nihilators might try something on Earth while the world's defenses are weakened. I have foreseen that the town of Pokémon Square will play an important role in the upcoming battle, which is why the Draconian Empire has already established such a large military presence there, as will many other nations soon enough, I should think. I believe that the Nihilators or their allies will soon launch a massive attack on the town, and if Pokémon Square should fall, so will the Earth. I want you to go there immediately and help defend the town."

"Well…all right, if you think it's that big a deal, we'll get right over there," MusiPink decided.

"And we'll get to see the town where fighters as strong as the Fighting Four…or Team Aurabolt…or whoever were raised," MusiBlack added. "That's some pretty good incentive too. I'm certainly looking forward to it. Let's go!"

"That is good to hear," said the relieved Dimitria. "I've already adjusted your tour schedule and alerted the media that you're going there to perform a goodwill concert for the soldiers, townsPokémon, and refugees from the recent battle at Mt. Blaze. That will give you a cover story for your presence there."

"A charity concert? Nice, those always go over well," MusiYellow said, pleased.

"Plus, there'll be even more chicks willing to go out with The Brock if they think he's part of a group that puts on big fancy rock concerts for free!" MusiDriver said eagerly.

"Well, chicks willing to go out with _us_," MusiBlack corrected. "You're just the driver. Nobody _ever_ goes out with the driver."

The Musirrangers burst into laughter at MusiDriver's lack of a love life. The Golem snarled and twitched. "One of these days…" he growled. "One of these days The Brock'll show you…The Brock'll show you all! By getting a girlfriend! Then The Brock'll be the one who's laughing, because he was able to get a date, even though all of you said he couldn't!"

"You know, it might help if you dropped your illeism," Dimitria suggested.

"The Brock's what now?" asked the confused MusiDriver.

"His what now?" the other Musirangers asked.

Dimitria sighed. "Oh, never mind…"

"Dimitria, just one question…" MusiManager said. "While we're perfectly happy to make this detour to help save the world, um, what about your sister?"

"What about her?" Dimitria asked.

"Well, what's to stop her from attacking some other city while we're on Kanjohenn and can't stop her?" MusiManager asked.

"Oh come on, she'd never do that!" MusiYellow snorted.

"Si, she only attacks cities we conveniently happen to be in at the time," MusiGreen said.

"…Huh. Yeah, that's true." MusiPink frowned. "Why is that, anyway?"

"Because we're twins, we're linked by a mystical bond," Dimitria explained. "As such, I can sense ahead of time where she plans to strike, so adjust your tour to move you in that direction."

"Oh, okay," MusiPink said.

"But that means she'll know you're sending us to Pokémon Square! Why couldn't she attack somewhere else instead?" MusiManager asked.

"Because it's more likely she'll try and attack the town _because_ you're there," Dimitria said.

"Why is that?" MusiYellow asked.

"Because she's got a big enough ego that she won't try to take over the world until you all, my chosen musicians, have been defeated, so she can prove through a battle of the bands why her brand of rock is better than my own," Dimitria explained.

"Oh," MusiYellow said.

"Wait, but doesn't that mean we'll be endangering Pokémon Square by going there, if she'll attack because we're there?" asked MusiBlack.

"Any more than we endanger any town we're in just by fighting in it?" MusiBrown said.

"Ah. Good point," MusiBlack said.

"It's a calculated risk. While there's a stronger likelihood of Divatox attacking the town because of your presence, there's already such a strong military presence there—along with the fact that pretty much everyone in Pokémon Square is an experienced warrior—that it's very likely that they will be able to repel any Noise with only minimal assistance from yourselves, which also means you're much less likely to destroy the very place you're trying to protect. Again," Dimitria said.

"It certainly would be nice if we could do that for a change," MusiGreen said wistfully.

"Didn't we save Battlus from a volcanic eruption without any collateral damage?" MusiPink said.

"We also permanently froze it over, depriving it of its primary source of power as well as forcing hundreds of Pokémon out of a job due to the arena getting destroyed," MusiYellow said.

"And that's doesn't even _begin_ to cover the damage we wreaked on the local ecosystem due to transforming a volcanic island into frozen tundra, potentially causing countless indigenous Pokémon to freeze to death," MusiBlack spoke up.

"Oh," MusiPink said uncomfortably. "Right."

"All right then, if a Noise attack can't be helped, then Pokémon Square it is," MusiManager resolved. "And if anyone asks why Divatox was attacking at the same time we were there, we'll lie and say she was already planning to attack and we just showed up in the nick of time."

"And if they don't buy that?" MusiPink asked.

"Our solution to everything: run like the dickens," MusiManager said bluntly.

"So, SOP then," MusiYellow joked.

"Ess Oh Pee?" asked the confused MusiBlack.

"Standard Operating Procedure. What we _always_ do," MusiYellow explained.

"Ohhh," MusiBlack said.

"MusiDriver! Set a course for Pokémon Square!" MusiManager ordered.

"You got it, Boss," MusiDriver said, turning the steering wheel and changing their heading. _The Brock doesn't care _what_ they say, he just knows he'll finally get some in Pokémon Square!_ (He would, but not the way he thought that he would.)

"Good luck, Rangers. As always, the world is depending on you," Dimitria said. "Just…try not to blow it up too much this time, please?"

"We make no promises," MusiBrown said.

Dimitria sighed. "I thought as much." Her hologram vanished.

The Heavy Metalzord proudly strode off into the sunset, leaving the devastated city behind it, a mysterious future—and the possibility of a town they wouldn't destroy by accident—lying before them.

…

Meanwhile, on Deoxys' ship…

Misty had lost track of how long she'd been riding within the bowels of the alien being. She had been told it had only been a matter of weeks, maybe a couple of months at most, since she had been cast out of her world and scattered across the stars, but it felt more like years to her. The fact that time was subjective inside of Deoxys, and didn't necessarily flow the same way between universes, didn't help.

In spite of this, her urgent need to get home and save Ash and her children, her friends, and her world, preferably in that order, had not diminished in the slightest. The fact that she'd as of yet still found no way to speed up the ship's rate of progress to get them to their destination didn't help matters, nor did the fact that occasionally they had to stop to pick up some probes that had been dispatched ages ago and were just now returning with new data or to save planets that had sent out distress calls that just happened to be in their way. She understood the necessity of helping those in need, but that didn't lessen her irritation at yet another delay cropping up extending the time it would take before they reached her universe. There wasn't a lot she could do about this, however, except vent in private or talk it over with Algebrea and some of the other alien creatures she'd hesitantly grown close to, although whether or not she could truly consider them friends was hard to say. After all, all of them had _him_ inside their heads, watching her through their eyes, and as such she could never be entirely certain whether she could truly trust them or if their affection was genuine. Even so, spending time with them was better than stewing in her (admittedly luxurious) quarters, so she spent more time with them when she had nothing better to do (which was almost all the time) and in spite of herself had grown to like them, even if they could never truly substitute her loved ones back home.

With their help, she'd been able to forget at least some of her worries about the situation back home and come to enjoy the truly remarkable and seemingly limitless possibilities living in the unique ecosystem within Deoxys afforded her. She had visited planets and dealt with species ranging from Pokémon like the ones back home to creatures somewhat like them but more alien in appearance to beings made of abstract concepts like math such as Algebrea to things so bizarre she didn't even have words to describe them (in English, anyway, the significantly expanded vocabulary she'd picked up due to absorbing knowledge from every corner of the Omniverse taught her terms in a variety of different languages that adequately could be used as labels) that fed on music played by instruments made of _milk_. Both inside the ship and through its exterior ports she witnessed a variety of stellar and cosmic phenomena such as the birth of new stars or the creation of planets or the courtship between entities so vast they were entire universes within themselves, much like Deoxys himself. She saw wonders and marvels that she had never imagined were possible back in her home on Kanjohenn, which seemed so _small_ now compared to the vast immensities of the cosmos, and sometimes it brought a tear to her eye to realize just how much there was out there and how lucky she was to be able to see even a small fraction of Arceus' magnificent creation. The only thing that marred her enjoyment of this spectacle was that those she cared for most were not there to watch it beside her, which only heightened her resolve to get home before it was too late so that she could share all that she had seen and learned with them all…and, perhaps, find a way to take them all with her, so that they could share the stars together…

Possibly without the help of Deoxys. For all that she was grateful to her host for giving her a berth on his wondrous vessel and agreeing to take her home to help her friends, she still could not bring herself to fully trust the so-called Savior, not just because of his nature as a hive mind, but also because of what she knew of his past life. It wasn't irrational or paranoid for her to be distrustful of him in light of her past experiences and memories, was it?

Little did she expect her host to bring up that very subject with her, after Algebrea appeared suddenly and told her Deoxys wished to see her in the command center. She hadn't been sure what he'd wanted to talk about, maybe to tell her they'd found a shortcut home or inform her of some new spectacle or marvel for her to witness and take part in or maybe to inquire further about some of the information she had incorporated in her cells due to her sojourn across the Omniverse (or, she feared, to try and forcibly assimilate her into his network, something which she would fight with all the considerable new abilities in her possession to prevent if that was the case). She _certainly_ hadn't expected him to ask her to do what he was asking her now. "You want me to _what?_" she said incredulously.

"Algebrea has told me that you have discovered a technique that allows one to unlock memories of their past lives, not only within this existence but in the universe that came before this one, and possibly further back than that," the Normal Deoxys floating before her said.

"And since I've figured out a way to block you from reading my mind, you can't figure it out for yourself, so you want me to teach you how to do that so you can find out about your past," she said.

"Yep! Got it on the nail!" the Speed Deoxys said cheerfully.

Misty frowned. "Didn't Algebrea also tell you what I'd said about your past life? That you were one of the evilest beings that ever existed, possibly worse than the Ruler of Evil?"

"She did," the Attack Deoxys grunted.

"We weren't very happy to hear that…" the Defense Deoxys said sadly.

"And in spite of this, you want to know more about what you were like _why?_" Misty asked in disbelief.

"Curiosity," Normal said. "Our desire for knowledge is insatiable. We had thought we knew all there was to know about ourselves…and now to find out that we were once the greatest evil that ever lived is most troubling to our self-identity. We wish to know more. We wish to understand what could have driven us to be as wicked as you say we were…and why we are not like that anymore."

"And you aren't the least bit curious to find out how you became so powerful the last time so you could do it again and make another bid for Omniversal domination?" Misty snarled.

"What! How dare you make such an accusation?" Attack said furiously. "We've done nothing but good works for the last several million years! Why would we want to change that now?"

"Power is extremely tempting…and as strong as you may be now, I can almost guarantee the Deoxys you once were was even stronger," Misty said, narrowing her eyes. "As much as I distrust you now, I hate the thing you used to be even more, and refuse to be responsible for unleashing it upon the new Omniverse! The fact that you'd even ask me to do such a thing, to bring back the memories of _that_ thing, is making my distrust for you grow even more!"

"We have no intention of allowing that to happen, either," Normal said.

"And you expect me to believe you just like that?" Misty snapped. "That you just want to remember how big and bad you used to be for the sake of knowledge and curiosity? That you aren't even remotely interested in bringing back that kind of power and using it to do whatever the Abyss you want with the Omniverse, so you don't have to 'play nice' anymore?"

"It's not just curiosity," Speed said, uncharacteristically solemn.

Normal nodded. "It's guilt."

Misty blinked in surprise. "Huh?"

"Ever since we became sentient and realized all the awful things we did when we were just a mindless stellar virus, we've been driven to make up for all the lives we've ended and the civilizations we've destroyed by saving people instead," Defense said sadly. "But even after we atoned for all our past sins, even after we'd saved a hundred times more worlds and people than we'd destroyed, we've still felt this aching sensation that it wasn't enough, that it would never be enough, that we'd done something so terrible in the past that all that we'd done to try and repent for it was just a drop in the bucket. One with holes in it. So it could never be filled."

"I think she gets the idea," Attack snarked.

"For most of our existence, we had believed that guilt to be normal. After all, many heroes can be responsible for saving millions of lives, yet still feel unending sorrow for a single life they failed to save, even if that life was someone they'd never met before and whose name they'd never learned," Normal said. "However, thanks to your recent revelation…now we are no longer certain that's the case."

"…You're wondering if you're feeling guilty for all the horrible things you did back in the reality before," Misty realized. "That your misdeeds back then were so great that even now, trillions of years after the fact, despite being given a clean slate and a fresh start, you still feel guilt for it."

The Deoxyses nodded. "Pretty much, yeah," Speed said sadly.

"That is the true reason for our desire to recall our past, Misty," Defense said. "We want to know just what we did that was so terrible that even now, despite everything, we feel such unending guilt for it. We want to know who we _really_ were…for only then can we fully understand what we are now."

"You have to know your enemy, and in this case, the enemy is us," Attack said bluntly. "We were already evil once, in this current existence. We want to know just how bad it's possible for us to be…and what steps are necessary to ensure that we never become like that again."

Misty considered this. Despite herself, she was actually starting to see their point, and even sympathize a little. And yet… "I don't think knowing what you did and just how evil you used to be is going to bring you closure or anything like that," Misty said. "If anything, it'll probably only make you feel _more_ guilty. It brings to mind a parable from a distant world encoded in my molecules. You may have heard of it. It's part of the saga of the Nameless One."

The Deoxyses stirred at this. "The Nameless One? We know of his journey," Normal said.

"Such a sad story, with a sad ending," Defense said sadly.

"One heck of a good game, though," Speed said fondly.

"What about him?" Attack asked.

Misty closed her eyes, dredging up the recollection of the tale from deep within the stored knowledge encoded in her body. "A man found himself at a crossroads, with no idea of who he was, or how he had gotten there. A witch appeared and told him, 'That's two wishes down. You only have one left.' Understandably confused, he asked what she was talking about. She explained that she had given him three wishes, and he'd already used up two of them. The reason he had no idea where or who he was was because of his second wish, which had been for him to forget his identity. Understandably, he asked for her to restore his memory for his third wish. 'Funny,' she said as she faded away, memories already filling the man's head. 'That's the same thing you asked for your _first_ wish.'"

"…I don't get it," Attack said with a growl.

"She's saying that the answers we seek might not be much to our liking," Speed said. "And that once we know, it's not so easy to forget, no matter how much we might want to."

"Something I was already afraid of," Defense admitted.

Misty nodded in agreement. "I understand that you are seekers of information, but there are still some things we are better off not knowing. While I have been enriched by the knowledge I've absorbed from across the Omniverse, quite a lot of it are things I wish I didn't know or could easily forget. Unfortunately, due to my current nature, I don't think I can forget _anything_ anymore without sacrificing some of my own body mass, which I'm understandably hesitant to do."

"You believe that we would be better off without these memories," Normal concluded.

Misty nodded. "In the time that came before, I only encountered you at the end, when you were at your absolute worst, but even then I only got a small glimpse of the sorts of things you and your minions were capable of. If you want, I can tell you what I remember of those days, but I can promise you won't like what you hear, both because a lot of it was awful and because…well…I didn't actually get to see that much of it, since I joined the battle pretty late in the game, and don't really know everything the other Chosen went through. They didn't really want to talk about it."

"A nice offer, but like you yourself just said, the fact that you could only give us a partial recollection of those events makes anything you tell us of our past less than satisfactory," Attack said.

"Additionally, like you said, you saw us at our worst, or close to it. We want to know why exactly we were so evil…what drove us to be as truly bad as you say we were," Normal said.

"I don't know how much you can learn from that even if you _did_ remember your past," Misty said. "I was led to believe that you were born evil, spawned from an enormous conglomeration of pure evil souls for no purpose other than to destroy everything and reduce all of existence to eternal suffering. Assuming that wasn't all just Mewgle pulling stuff out of his ass, anyway."

"…Oh dear. That _does_ sound awful," Defense said nervously.

"We can't accept that," Speed said. "We were born evil in our current state, too, or at least malignant, but when we gained sentience we immediately knew we wanted to be good. Why did our past self choose the evil path, rather than taking the other road, like we did?"

"Because you were created by the Ruler of Evil or one of his goons, who, while _very_ bad, I don't think were quite as bad as the thing you used to be or worked for?" Misty suggested.

"That's still just speculation, which, as my colleague said, isn't an acceptable answer," Normal said. "We want to know the truth."

"No matter how unpleasant it might be?" Misty asked skeptically. "Because I can guarantee it'll be _extremely_ unpleasant. Not only that, I'm kind of worried that if I were to do as you ask and awaken the memories of your past life, you might…I dunno…revert or something. I still don't entirely trust you now, but I've seen the sorts of things you've done or can do, and I definitely prefer you to what you used to be. I do _not_ want to release something that horrible on the Omniverse, which is something I can't help being afraid will happen if I were to allow you to remember who you used to be."

"That's a valid fear. Good thing we already anticipated that," Attack bragged.

Misty blinked in surprise. "You did?"

At an unspoken command, one of Deoxys's probes stepped forward. Like most of the other aliens floating around the room, it was in its Normal Forme. However, it had no cable connecting it to the crystal that was the viral life-form's central consciousness. "We were aware that the memories of our past might be of danger to us and those who have bound themselves to us, so took precautions to make sure that we did not subject them and ourselves to something horrible or inadvertently give rise to a new—or rather, _ancient_—evil," Defense explained. "This probe was specially prepared so that you could restore the memories of our past inside of it without causing any negative effects to the rest of us. It's not attached to our consciousness unless we reabsorb it, so it can't infect or overwrite us if the personality of the evil Deoxys were to be reawakened unless we allowed it to, which I think all of us have a vested interest in not allowing to happen. For the same reason, it has no powers whatsoever, and isn't even telepathic, so there's no risk of it taking control of anyone's minds and escaping by jumping into someone else's body before we could destroy it. As such, if the original Deoxys _were_ to reassert himself, he would find himself in a weak and completely helpless body."

"…I see," Misty realized. "This is a test subject. Since it's born of your genes and spirit, it should still retain a link to the Deoxys of the past, so I can still restore its memories of that time…but it won't be able to do anything with those memories if it becomes evil. That way, you can judge from how it reacts to those memories to see whether it's safe for you to regain them as well, so you can reabsorb it without worrying about going crazy, right?"

"That is correct," Normal said.

"And if it _does_ go crazy or evil?" Misty asked.

"Then we'll destroy it completely, and make sure not even a molecule of it gets absorbed back into us," Attack said firmly.

Misty considered this. While she still had a few doubts, it sounded as if the Deoxyses seemed to have everything under control and accounted for. However, there was still one big reason she could think of not to do this… "What exactly do I get out of this?" she asked. "Not to sound particularly mercenary or anything, but…even though I don't trust you, I don't really want to hurt you, and I'm pretty sure that all this will do, if I go through with it, is cause you pain. Why exactly should I do this to you?"

"Because if you do, we'll give you a reward," Normal said.

"The only reward I want is to be back on Earth, right this instant, which I already know you can't give me," Misty said flatly.

"That might be true, but…what if we could remove your fear of bugs and all the psychological trauma associated with it?" Speed asked.

Misty's heart skipped a beat. "Th-that's not possible," she said, regaining her composure. "The best therapists and Psychics back home couldn't do it, not the least of which because I was too terrified of anyone poking around in my mind again to let them in. I've been trying since I got here, but even with all the knowledge I've absorbed I still can't do it. If anything, I'm even _more_ terrified of bugs now, because I know just how many insectoid races are out there and just how horrible a lot of them are."

"We know a few things about the mind and how to heal it than both the shrinks back home _and_ the ones across the Omniverse you've probably read up on while you were scattered all over the place might not," Attack said.

Defense nodded. "If anyone can cure you, it's us."

Misty frowned. "And who's to say I _want_ to be cured? That fear of bugs has kept me alive."

"It's also made it difficult for you to show affection to or bond with others, estranged you from your sisters, and complicated your relationship with Ash, your friends, and even your adopted children," Normal pointed out. "It's not just your fear of insects that's the problem. It's what that fear stems from…your memories of your childhood as a nearly mindless slave in the Hive Queen's palace, which has tainted everything you've done or gone through since then because you fear that if you allow yourself to open up too much to others, you will be consumed, just as your 'self' was reduced to nothing in service to the Hive. You know it's an irrational fear, but it's not one you can rid yourself of easily."

"No, I can't…" Misty said bitterly. "But…but you can?"

"Indubitably," Normal said.

"And without even going inside your mind, which we know is something you're rather keen on us not doing," Speed added.

"That…sounds too good to be true," Misty said suspiciously. "What's the catch?"

"Nothing. Except that you have to help us first," Defense said.

Misty narrowed her eyes. "So you have a potential cure for my…condition, but you won't let me have it unless I do what you want?"

"If we offered it to you free of charge, would you accept it without suspecting there to be a hidden downside to it?" Attack asked.

Misty hesitated. "Well…"

"By offering it as payment for services rendered rather than a gift, you have less reason to feel obligated or indebted to us, which I'm sure is one of the reasons you're hesitant to accept it," Normal said.

"That's…true…" Misty admitted grudgingly.

"So, with that in mind, will you accept our bargain? You restore our memories of the past, and in return we will rid you of your fear of Bugs?" Normal asked.

Misty pawed the ground for a few minutes, deep in thought. "I…guess so," she said finally, looking a little reluctant. "I'm still not entirely sure this is a good idea, but it sounds as if you're taking the appropriate precautions. Will I still get that cure even if the probe here has to be destroyed if the memories prove to be too much for it?"

"Certainly. We are not petty enough to withhold our assistance just because what we ask of you doesn't work out," Normal said. "So long as you try your best, we will be satisfied, regardless of the outcome."

"Speak for yourself…" Attack grunted.

"I am. We're all the same person," Normal pointed out.

"Semantics," Attack said dismissively.

"All right then. I'll do it," Misty said, swallowing her doubts and trepidation. She still didn't trust Deoxys one hundred percent, but this sounded on the level…so far. And if he changed his mind and didn't give her a cure after all, she wouldn't be any worse off than she was now, right? She'd just have a validation for her distrust in him. Not the most ideal of resolutions, but she supposed it could be worse.

"Thank you, Misty," Normal said gratefully. "You will not regret this."

"I hope," Defense said.

"So do I," Misty said. She sighed and took a deep breath. "Okay, let's do this." She turned to face the probe, which had been standing there patiently the whole time. She inhaled deeply and closed her eyes, concentrating on the accumulated cosmic power and wisdom saturating her being. Her body shimmered and rippled, becoming semi-translucent…but rather than simply becoming see-through water, her slender form turned blacker and blacker, points of light and swirls and elaborate patterns forming throughout her interior, patterns and lights greatly resembling stars and galaxies and constellations. It looked as if her body was turning into a window opening onto deep space, as if a fraction of the night sky had been cut out of the fabric of the universe and molded into the form of a Vaporeon. Her eyes slowly opened, but rather than being the black of normal Vaporeons, hers were a deep blue with whirlpool galaxies slowly swirling in their depths, eyes that looked far older and wiser than her teenaged appearance implied. A liquid tendril of starry night extruded itself from her body and slowly arced through the air towards the probe, which looked on impassively while the other probes in the chamber and the four prime Deoxyses watched in curiosity and wonder. The tendril reached for the probe's forehead, paused, and then lowered itself towards the alien's chest, recognizing the purple crystal core in the cavity in its gut as the true seat of intelligence. The tendril hovered just above the surface of the crystal for a moment before gently reaching forward and tapping the jewel.

There was a spark from where the tendril touched, and the probe jerked, stiffening and shaking slightly as its eyes rolled back in its head to reveal only its whites. As the other Deoxyses watched in concern and growing alarm, the tentacle retracted itself into Misty's back, her eyes turning black again as her body shifted from the consistency of the void back to its usual blue. She blinked and shook her head a few times as she dragged herself out of the trance-like state immersing herself in the knowledge of the Omniverse tended to leave her in. "What's happening to it?" she asked in concern when she saw the twitching, white-eyed probe standing before her. "Is it all right? Is that supposed to happen?"

"I…am not certain," Normal admitted.

"I think it's processing all the memories you awakened in it. Considering the computing power we gave it, though, it should have finished analyzing and recalling all of its past life by now. Either there's even more memories in there than we thought—which is possible, considering you've implied our past self was practically as old as _time itself—_or-" Speed started.

"Or something is very, very wrong," Defense said, looking more focused and less nervous than usual.

"All probes form up around that one! Start charging your attacks, we might need them in a few seconds!" Attack barked.

The probes quickly maneuvered themselves into a roughly spherical formation surrounding the twitching alien, shifting into Attack and Speed Formes as their crystals started glowing. The probes on the outer perimeter of the sphere shifted into Defense Forme and generated barriers to entrap all of them in a dome-shaped energy shield, one that pushed Misty out of the way. "H-hey!"

"Sorry, Misty, we don't want you to get hurt if this goes bad," Defense said.

"I can take care of myself, you know," she said, miffed.

"You really want to take your chances against what may be the greatest evil that ever existed, one even worse than the Ruler of Evil?" Speed asked.

Misty blanched. While she'd helped fight Deoxys's forces with the other Chosen, she'd never had the misfortune of confronting the monster directly, and now that she thought about it she wasn't sure she wanted to do that now either, no matter how much stronger she had gotten due to her pseudo-evolution. "Ah. Good point," she said, nervously taking a few steps back as more and more probes gathered around the shimmering force field, forming a second line of defense in case the first one wasn't strong enough.

The four prime Deoxyses started charging their crystals as well, and the purple mass that was the true heart of Deoxys began glowing also. Static crackled through the air as the level of power in the room grew higher and higher, until Misty started feeling more than a little uncomfortable. She hoped that all this power wasn't going to be necessary…and that if it _were_ necessary, it would destroy whatever it was she'd just unleashed. Oh, why had she let herself get talked into doing this?

Abruptly, the afflicted probe stopped shaking. Slowly, its eyes rolled back down so its pupils were visible. The probes surrounding it tensed up, ready to vaporize it if it made even the slightest wrong move. The probe Misty had touched barely seemed to notice they were there, however. It didn't seem to be aware of anything going on around it, lost in whatever passed for thoughts in its pre-programmed mind. The probe slowly turned its head until it caught sight of Misty outside the energy shield. She stiffened as their eyes locked.

She had seen the eyes of the evil Deoxys, long ago. They had been among the most horrifying things they had ever seen. This probe, however, held none of the boundless malice and hatred for life that that monster had possessed. All she saw in these orbs was terror and despair…and a sad resignation. Slowly, its right arm morphed into a blade.

"It's made a weapon! Kill it! Kill it!" Attack screamed.

"No, wait!" Misty screamed, certain that whatever was about to happen, the probe wasn't a threat to anyone…except for itself.

The prime Deoxyses glanced at her in surprise, the other probes hesitating. "Huh? What are you-" Speed started, when the probe that had received the memories of the evil Deoxys struck…

Itself, driving its blade through its crystal heart. The jewel shattered instantly, and without its power the probe's body immediately lost all cohesion, dissolving into a pile of orange and blue slime indistinguishable from the rest of the bio-matter making up the room. A blue glow surrounded the fragmented bits of crystal before they could fall to the ground as well, Normal's eyes lighting up as he used his Psychic powers to keep them suspended in the air, so no part of them made contact with the rest of the ship. Stunned, the other probes slowly floated back, the barrier dropping as the sense of danger and tension that had been filling the air faded away. "It…it killed itself," Attack said in disbelief. "Why…why would it…"

"Because it saw what we were, what we used to be," Defense whispered. "And realized that it was too horrible for us to learn of it. So it destroyed itself to keep us—all of us—from learning that awful truth."

"It would seem the parable of the Nameless One you quoted previously was most apt, Misty," Normal said solemnly. "Perhaps there are indeed some things that even we are better off not knowing."

Misty trembled. She was startled to realize she was crying. "Why…why am I…why am I sad? It…it was just a drone. It wasn't even really a living thing, just…just a…a thing. A tool." _Like I once was._

"It ceased to become a tool the instant it decided to take its own life," Normal said. "The spark you gave it didn't just grant it memories, but a measure of self-awareness…"

"And the first big choice it made as a living thing was to kill itself," Speed said bleakly. "Wow. That's sad."

"But noble," Attack said.

"Still sad," Speed said.

"It died so that we might retain a measure of innocence…so that we would be spared knowing just how vile the crimes of our past were, spared knowledge that would surely have destroyed us," Normal said. "We shall honor its sacrifice, by making sure that the dark memories it harbored shall never threaten us again." He nodded at the probes surrounding the remnants of the dead probe, still suspended in his telekinetic field. Their crystals lit up once more and fired laser beams so powerful that Misty could feel the heat from them even though she was standing several meters away from them. The lasers struck the floating crystal shards, destroying them completely in a brilliant flash of light, not even leaving an atom behind. "It is done. The threat is over."

"So long as Misty agrees never to do that to any of us again," Attack said, glancing at the Vaporeon.

"I won't. I…I promise," she stammered. Misty squeezed her eyes shut, tears running down her cheeks. "I…I should never have agreed to do this. What was…what was I thinking?"

"And what were we thinking, asking you to do this?" Defense said sadly. "We're sorry, Misty."

"You should be!" she snarled, though not with as much anger as she would have liked. While she was upset with Deoxys, on some level she supposed she couldn't blame him. He'd just wanted to know more about his past. Just like Ash, how could he be anything but driven to learn more about who he used to be, no matter how unpleasant that knowledge might be?

The Deoxyses said nothing for a while. They just let her cry, gave her time to pull herself back together, figuratively speaking, since she hadn't dissolved like she did sometimes when she _really_ lost her temper. She wasn't sure whether to thank them or hate them for that, for being so damn _understanding_ despite all the distrust and anger she'd thrown at them. "That…that cure of yours had better work. I don't…I don't want that to have been for nothing!" she snarled once she had regained her composure.

Attack blinked in surprise, a hint of anger flickering across his face. "Huh? After that, you still want to-"

"You promised it to me," she pointed out. "And if…and if we didn't go through with it, then that means that we'd have basically killed that poor probe for no reason. And…besides that…I think that, as horrible as that was, it may have helped me get over some of my lingering mistrust of you. I still don't completely trust you on principle, but…but if something born from you, even an unfeeling drone, could be so overcome with horror at what you used to be that it would destroy itself rather than become that evil again, then maybe…just maybe…there's something worth liking about you after all."

"…Thank you, Misty," Defense said. "That means more to us than you might think."

"Whatever," she said gruffly. "Let's…let's just get this over with, okay? What…what do we need to do to…to fix me?"

Normal gestured, and a structure rose from the floor of the command center. It was a large ring of orange and blue material with a very fine purple crystal lattice forming a mesh across its interior. Misty frowned and regarded the object cautiously. "What is that?"

"You have dream catchers on your world, right?" Speed asked.

Misty nodded. "Yeah. Not that they ever worked for me…especially since my sisters were too cheap to buy the ones with real Lunar Wings." They had done nothing to stop the nightmares of waking up one morning and finding herself back in the Amber Palace. She shuddered at the recollection of how often she'd woken up screaming in the middle of the night, her flesh crawling from the sensation of Bug legs scurrying across her skin.

"This works on a similar principle," Defense explained. "It's basically a device attuned to filter out impurities of an abstract nature…in this case, fear. We've rigged it so that it will remove your fear of insects from your subconscious without damaging any of your memories or thoughts. You will still retain your memories of your time in the Amber Palace, but they will no longer inspire as much terror as they once did. They will no longer hold any power over you; you will be able to regard them with complete emotional detachment. As a result, you will no longer fear insects. That doesn't mean you won't respect or understand the dangers they might present to you, simply that your phobia—and hopefully some of the lesser fears and traumas that have sprouted from it, such as your, ah, difficulties in social settings-will be gone as well."

"Like I said before, that sounds almost too good to be true," Misty said suspiciously. "What's the catch?"

"You're…well…going to have to pass through it," Defense said Mareepishly.

Misty stared at him blankly. "…Pass through it."

"Yes. Um, you turn yourself into liquid and pour yourself through the filter, and the crystals will-" Defense started.

"I heard you the first time," Misty interrupted.

"Oh. Right," Defense said.

"I take it this does not please you," Normal said.

"You're darn right it doesn't," she growled. "You're asking me to liquefy myself and flow through a device of mysterious function that's somehow supposed to strip something as abstract as fear from me and hope that I come out on the other side in one piece and in approximately the same shape."

"Pretty much, yeah," Attack said.

Misty sighed. "Well, you guys sure picked one Abyss of a good way to test the boundaries of my new trust in you."

"If you wish, you may examine the device," Normal said reasonably. "Surely with your knowledge, you should be able to verify whether it will indeed function as we claim it will and put your concerns to rest."

Misty considered this for a moment, and then shook her head. "No. I said I'd trust you guys, to an extent. You've played straight with me so far, and, as much as I may not want to admit it, you've given me no reason to think you might be trying to trick me. So, rather than check for myself…I'll give you the benefit of the doubt on this one. I'll believe it's what you say it is, and will do what it's supposed to."

"…Thank you," Defense said, gratified.

"Awww, we knew you'd come around sooner or later!" Speed said happily.

"Wh-whatever," Misty said, hiding a blush. "Let's just get this over with. All I have to do is pass through this thing, and I'll be cured?"

"Your fear of insects and the other problems stemming from it will be unable to go through the mesh. Everything else making you what you are will pass through the filter unimpeded," Normal said.

"And you're sure it'll work?" Misty asked.

"Ninety-nine point nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine seven percent sure," Attack said.

Misty smirked. "Well, that's good enough for me. All right…" She turned to face the device and crouched, readying herself. "Here we go!"

She ran towards the alien machine, her body shimmering and turning itself into water as she went. Once she reached the base of the device, she leaped, hurling herself into the mesh.

It always felt funny when, in her liquid form, an object passed through her and split her into more than one component. It didn't hurt, it just felt…weird. Her consciousness was split, going from taking up a single mass to two or more, depending on how many pieces she was divided into, causing her perspective to splinter into an equal number of points of view. Whenever she was solid, it was difficult for her to process what she saw in her liquid state, how her view took up over a thousand and eighty degrees surrounding her through more than one set of eyes, but whenever she was water it was easy and perfectly natural for her to comprehend, as if there was nothing odd whatsoever in being able to see herself and her surroundings simultaneously through multiple points of view. She wondered if this was how creatures with compound vision or were naturally equipped with multiple eyes all over their bodies saw the world.

That was pretty much how it felt for Misty when she poured herself through the filter, her body splitting apart into thousands of tiny globules and droplets of water as it flowed through the crystal mesh, allowing herself to see the probes and Deoxyses and the room she was in from thousands and thousands of individual perspectives without being overloaded or overwhelmed in the slightest. She could still feel the larger mass of her body pushing itself into the alien machine at the same time as it was broken apart into countless individual particles on the other side, simultaneously seeing and feeling and experiencing everything that happened to her myriad components at once without any lag or hesitation. She found herself wondering why she didn't do this sort of thing more often. Transitioning from a solid to a liquid and all that it entailed was always an unusual experience, but not particularly unpleasant. Too bad there wasn't any way for her to share this with her friends; they might think it was rather neat, too. (As she considered this, the accumulated cosmic knowledge inside of her assembled a variety of ways for her to either establish mental links with her friends so they could share her experiences or transform them into liquid beings too so they could do the same sorts of things she could, and while that was all very interesting it wasn't that conducive to what she was doing at the present and decided to think on it some more some other time.)

Her musings and observation came to an end when she realized that her requisite particles were starting to scatter, flung apart by momentum and gravity. That wouldn't do at all. While she continued to pour the last cohesive bits of herself on the other side of the mesh through the contraption, she consciously willed her fragmented droplets to flow back together, merging in midair and reassembling back into her default Vaporeon form, her multiple perspectives of the room melding back into one as her particles fused back into a single cohesive being. Her forepaws solidified just before she hit the ground, the rest of her following suit as it flowed out of the mesh behind her and into the growing mass on the floor, forming her chest and back legs and finally her long tail, the fin at the end flicking through the air as the final droplet squeezed itself out of the grating and glued itself into position with its siblings. She smiled as she waved her tail behind her, reveling in the oneness of being whole again, admitting to herself that hadn't actually been that bad after all…

And frowned, suddenly realizing something had changed. It felt as if she'd lost something, a substantial part of herself failing to recombine with the rest of her. Oddly, rather than feeling like there was a gaping hole in her, she actually felt a lot lighter, as if there had been some weight pressing down on her chest for so long that she'd forgotten it was there, but now that it was gone she was able to breathe freely again. Perplexed, she turned around to see if some part of her body had gotten stuck in the crystalline mesh…

And screamed.

She had left something behind, but it was a lot more than just a few stuck drops of water. There was a…a _thing_ wriggling about on the other side of the filter, a hideous oversized grub with far too many legs and antenna and twitching writhing bits for her liking. And…and it had her face, or some hideous facsimile of it, with feelers stretching out of its forehead and big chomping mandibles growing from its mouth and hideous compound eyes, but still recognizably her face. She screamed and screamed and screamed, feeling a terror unlike any other…not the usual paralyzing fear she usually felt when she saw a bug, as if there were legs or antenna running over her skin and the smell of sweat and insectoid saliva filling her nose and the sound of chittering and buzzing wings and _her_ voice filling her ears, but something else, something more primal and visceral that made her want to run and liquefy and flow into some space too narrow for it to possibly follow her. "What…what is that?" she gasped, backpedaling from the machine as fast as she could, staring in horror at the _thing_ stuck in it.

"It is your fear of insects, or a suitable representation of it," Normal said.

"That's…that's my entomophobia?" she cried incredulously.

"It is," Normal confirmed.

"Ugly sonuvabitch, isn't it?" Attack said with a sneer.

"And so _big_…" Defense shuddered.

"It's been infesting her mind for years, feeding on her fear and growing from it like a mental parasite," Speed said. "It's only to be expected."

"Kill it! Kill it! KILL IT!" Misty screamed frantically.

"Very well," Normal said. The crystal on the mesh began glowing a brilliant red as it powered up, growing hotter and hotter, forcing Misty to take a few steps back as waves of heat poured off of it. The insect-thing caught in the machine writhed frantically, shrieking as it struggled to break free, but it was to no avail. There was a searing flash of light from the contraption, one that Misty could see even through her closed eyelids, an ear-splitting keen of agony…

And then, silence. Cautiously, Misty opened her eyes, blinking away the strange shapes and colors floating in the corners of her vision, and looked at the filter, which was smoking and returning to its normal colors as it cooled. Of the solidified entomophobia there was no sign, not even a mote of ash. It had been completely vaporized. "It is done," Normal said.

"And good riddance!" Attack said.

"It's…it's gone," Misty whispered, tears rolling down her face as an astonishingly powerful feeling of joy and release fountained up from deep within her. "It's gone. I'm free. At last…at last, I'm free!"

"Let's put that to the test," Defense said. His crystal lit up and projected an image of a many-legged Arthropod from Syrinax-12 into the air. "What do you feel when you see this?"

Misty regarded the hideous insect creature for a moment, astonished to find that she felt… "Nothing," she said. "It's…it's not scary at all!"

"What about this?" Speed asked, projecting an image of a star-eating Titanopede into the air.

"Ugh! It's ugly, but…no, I'm not afraid of it," Misty realized. "I mean, more than anyone would be afraid of a giant sun-eating bug monster, that is. I mean, you'd have to be crazy not to be at least a little spooked by something like that, right?"

"And how about this?" Normal asked, projecting an image of a Beautifly into the air.

Misty gasped in surprise. "It's…it's beautiful!" she cried, realizing this for the first time. "Those big blue eyes, those colorful wings…this is the first time I've ever seen one without feeling sick! Is that really what they've always looked like? How could it take me so long to realize that?"

"What about us? Are you scared of us?" Attack pressed.

"I…no. No! I'm not!" Misty said, eyes going wide in astonishment.

"Yep, I'd say she's cured," Attack concluded as the holograms vanished. "A job well done, everyone."

"The very idea of being scared of you seems almost…silly now, actually, considering everything you've done for me," Misty admitted, looking embarrassed. "I feel kind of bad now for constantly distrusting you and stuff. Not only did you put up with my bad attitude, you also pretty much dropped what you were doing and agreed to take me home when you learned what happened to me. _And_ you just cured me of a long-lasting psychological disorder. I don't think I've thanked you enough for that, have I?"

"No," Attack said. Speed smacked him. "Ow!"

"Well, then here it is: thank you. Thank you very much for helping me, Deoxys," Misty said, bowing her head in gratitude.

"You are very welcome, Misty," Normal said.

"I don't suppose that means you're willing to join us, does it?" Defense asked hopefully.

Misty laughed. "Ha! Sorry, but no. I may no longer be afraid of you, but that doesn't mean I want you in my head all the time, or to become a part of your collective, especially since it pretty much means I'll never be able to leave. I've had enough of that for one lifetime, thank you very much." She frowned. "And aside from that…I know too much now. It would be too great a risk for some of the knowledge I possess to be shared if I were to link my mind to others. As your probe demonstrated, there are some things others are not meant to know, even you."

"…Huh. I guess that's true…" Defense said reluctantly.

"Are you sure? You can still travel with us even without becoming a part of us," Speed asked in disappointment. "Because we'd love to have you aboard on a more permanent basis. And besides, just think of all the cool things you'll get to see and the awesome things you'll do riding with us!"

"As tempting as that sounds," Misty said, surprised by just how tempting that actually was now that she was no longer quite so paranoid of her host. "Especially given my current expanded sense of the cosmos, I've already seen more than most Pokémon ever would. And while I wouldn't mind seeing more…right now all that I really want to do is go home. I've got people waiting for me there. I don't want to leave them."

"Who says you have to leave them? You could take them with us, after we finish saving your world," Attack said.

Misty shook her head. "I wouldn't want to impose that choice on them. If they're really interested in leaving Earth, we'll see, but once everything's said and done I think we'll all be more interested in just relaxing and catching up than on touring the Omniverse." She smirked. "And besides…if we ever change our minds, what with all the stuff crammed into my head right now, I'm sure I could build a ship capable of crossing dimensions pretty easily, maybe even better than yours!"

"Ha! That I'd like to see!" Speed laughed.

"So would I, actually," Defense said. "While we'll be sad to see you go, Misty—it's always a shame to say goodbye to a friend—knowing that we might one day meet again makes it better. After we part ways, I hope that you _do_ change your mind and build a ship of your own, and take your family to other worlds. I like the idea of running into you again someday, around some distant star. I wonder how different you will be. I wonder how different _we_ will be. It is something to look forward to, don't you think?"

"Yeah," Misty agreed with a warm smile. "I think so too."

"In any event…speaking of sights to see, now that you are no longer afraid of insects, I believe there are a variety of new places for you to visit on board the ship," Normal said.

"Ooh, yeah! Like the Glitterwing nests! Or the Insectosphere! Or the Hive Theater! Or the…" Speed said eagerly, beginning to rattle off the names of all the places and venues within the living ship that were home to insects and insectoids which Misty had so far shunned.

The Vaporeon grinned as the fast-talking alien outlined options for places to go and people to see. Her urgent desire to get home hadn't lessened in the slightest. She still had a mission to accomplish and people to save and a mon to officially tie the knot with. But it would still be some time yet until they got there, and at the moment there didn't seem to be anything anyone could do to speed up their journey, so why not kick back a little and enjoy herself along the way? Arceus knows she'd been wound up a little too tightly recently. There were so many things for her to do…

And people for her to apologize to. Algebrea and some of the other aliens that called Deoxys 'home' had only been trying to be friendly with her. There had been no reason for her to constantly suspect them and think they were going to try and assimilate her into their collective when her back was turned. She resolved to make it up to them the first chance she got, and do her very best to be friends with them, and make more friends of her own, since she no longer had the shadows of her past to taint her relationships with others. She was free at last of the psychological trauma that had characterized so much of her life, and now that it was gone, she intended to enjoy herself as much as she possibly could, while still preparing for the fight that lay ahead.

But not even the prospect of what awaited her at home did much to dampen her spirits. For the first time in what felt like years, Misty was truly, unabashedly happy, and for that happiness, she would forever be grateful to her host.

It was amazing just how much Deoxys had changed from the life he had held before. Was it any wonder they called him the 'Savior' now? For the first time since she had learned his true nature, she actually thought him worthy of that title, and like the probe that had so selflessly sacrificed itself to protect Deoxys from the full extent of his past, she intended to do whatever was necessary to keep him that way…so that the monster he once was would never surface again.

…

And on that note, we end our little intermission. Sure was good to see Misty and the others, wasn't it? It feels like forever since we last saw her. Too bad it'll probably be just as long until we see her again or resolve some of the other plotlines I've introduced this chapter.

As for next chapter…at long last, the beginning of a new arc! The nations of the world are gearing up for a major assault on the Nihilator stronghold on Mars, but in turn the Nihilators are desperately trying to enact a few last plans to ensure their survival that may spell victory for them in the end. And while Team Aurabolt will indeed be a part of this battle, at the moment they have something more important to worry about…the wedding of Leo DeKappa and Lily Yukihimi. And knowing those two, their wedding will be anything BUT normal.

Tune in next time for the shenanigans that will no doubt ensue from their attempt to get hitched! As well as Leo's official introduction to Lily's father, the terrifying Nuken Shinobu. _That_ should be an interesting meeting, don't you agree?

See you then!


	60. My Big Fat Fichinan Wedding

I'm very sorry this has taken so long.

I could give you a lot of excuses, from work to writer's block, but the simple truth is I goofed up, and I'm sorry for keeping all of you waiting for so long.

I can't guarantee this will never happen again, but I will try my best to make sure the next chapter arrives in a timely manner, and that it is, hopefully, shorter than this one. (Though I know better than to make a definitive promise on that.)

In any event, you are all invited to attend an event that's been a long, long, _long_ time coming: the marriage of Leo and Lily.

I hope you'll all find it worth the wait. I think it was.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

One week after the events of the 97,547th session of the Grand Council of Fichina…

As a mystical land steeped in enchantment and wonder, every landmark and piece of land in Fichina had something magical about it. Twisting Mountain, located in the Everfreeze region that, as the name implied, was perpetually in wintry conditions, was no different. The mountain had been carved by wind spirits so that it was shaped like a spiral, with a wide, twisting path leading all the way from its narrow base to its broad peak. (Yes, you read that correctly. The mountain was actually upside-down due to some frost giants playing toss with it a while back, so the original pinnacle was buried in the ground while the broad base was sticking straight up in the air. And if you're wondering why it wasn't named 'Spiral Mountain,' they'd tried to, but some other mountain already had that name, so they stuck with Twisting Mountain instead.)

Atop this sprawling plateau at the mountain's peak peak was a massive monastery and dojo dedicated to teaching Fighting skills to those who sought mastery of magical martial arts, with a special focus on the power of Aura. It had been established centuries ago when an Aura Master, concerned with how his kind were starting to dwindle, asked the then-leader of the Yukihimi family-to whom Everfreeze belonged-for permission to build a facility in her domain which could be used to train future Aura Guardians as well as hopefully raising the numbers of Aura-users who already existed, a sadly diminishing number. The Duchess of that age, Lily Yukihimi's great-grandmother, granted his request, allowing the Master to build a monastery atop Winding Mountain, since everyone knew all the best dojos had to be on top of icy mountains. It was the rule.

It was in this monastery that Master Brysen and Fichina's other Aura Guardians had trained, and it was to the masked Beartic that the monastery had been left to when his own master became one with Aura. (You know…died.) And it was also in a secluded room inside this monastery that we find our hero, the Lucario Ash, sitting with crossed legs before a burning candle, hands folded in his lap and eyes closed as he meditated, attempting, as he had tried to every day for the last week, to conquer his demons.

"Inner peace…inner peace…" he chanted, trying to focus on something calm and peaceful. A waterfall pouring down into a shimmering reflective pool, rainbows arching through the air as light refracted through the drops of water. An endless meadow full of beautiful flowers. His children, smiling and laughing as they played in the backyard. Her body falling to the ground, a gaping hole in her chest from where Lord Null had torn out her heart-

He flinched. The candle's flame, as blue as Aura, flickered. He took a deep breath, tried to slow down his rapid heartbeat, and started again. "Inner peace…inner peace…" As his pulse decreased, more calming images filled his mind. The icy beauty of Lily's manor. The city of New Avalon at night, lit up so brightly it was almost impossible to tell that the sun had set. The surreal wonder and complexity of the Fantasma estate. Pokétropolis burning to the ground-

No. He clenched his paws for a moment, suppressing a tremor. The flame flickered again. He took a deep, slightly shuddering breath, and began once more. "Inner peace…inner peace…" Firefly Bay back home lit up at night by the strange wisps that darted across the surface of the water. Another delicious home-cooked dinner at the Thunderblade household with all his extended family. His mother's face as she died in his arms-

No. He ground his teeth, the shaking a little harder to stop this time. The flame wavered wildly, coming close to going out. He took a ragged breath as he tried to stabilize his emotions. "Inner peace…inner peace…" He thought of Pikachu sparring with Dawn, the look of mutual love and respect in their eyes as they shared entire conversations in each clash of their blades. Leo expositing on some obscure piece of trivia that only he seemed to understand to a rapt Lily, who had no idea what he was talking about but was enthralled by the sound of his voice, pure love shining on her face. Tiny playing and frolicking like the child he should be, the ghosts of his rather traumatic past far behind him. Sasha and Briney watching in amusement from afar as their younger teammates relaxed after a long day of traveling towards whatever their next destination was, the weight of the world on their shoulders forgotten at the moment as they took this time to enjoy themselves and strengthen the bonds connecting them together. In the vision, he smiled and leaned against Misty as they watched their friends laughing and having a good time, while Tiny floated around playing with his older siblings. Feeling utterly content and at peace, he turned towards the Vaporeon beside him and bent down to kiss her…

Until her face melted off to reveal the visage of the guilt-ghost, who whispered, "This never happened, and it never will," her teeth locked in a rictus grin.

And just like that, all the darkness he'd been trying so hard to keep at bay rushed in as the mental dams holding them back shattered, the imaginary idyll he'd been constructing vanishing as far more nightmarish images took their place. Ash's teeth chattered and his body shook like a leaf as he struggled to get himself back under control, the candle flame flickering more and more as his emotional state destabilized. "I-inner peace…inner p-peace…"

Against his will, he saw things that were not even remotely conducive to inner peace. The remains of settlements and groups of wild Pokémon they'd been too late to save from barbarians. The rampant squalor and corruption of Treasure Town. The gallery of horrors that had been Doctor Tarantulas' laboratory in the Tree of Beginning. The abomination that Michael's sister had been turned into. The gruesome slaughter of Michael's grandmother. The horrific destruction of the Tree of Beginning. His brutal beating at Paul's claws. Ford's…_trophy_ _hall_, which he had come far too close to becoming a part of.

He trembled. The flame wavered more and more. He continued his chant. "Inner peace…inner peace…"

Brodie stealing his identity and face and the souls of Twilight's Edge. The ravenous, spirit-slurping monster that the Ditto had turned into when desperation struck. The twisted, hateful thing Manaphy had become. The welcome Bellum had laid out for them when they'd arrived at Dusty Ditch. Denchu's brood crawling all over him, and the awful nightmare he'd had while he was her captive. Lugia, killing himself over and over. The blasphemy that had been Maelstrom.

His trembling worsened. The flame began to change color. "Inner peace…inner peace…"

He could hear them. The voices of the victims of the Nihilators, screaming in agony, begging for mercy, cursing his name for his failure to rescue them. Their screams turned into the laughs of Tarantulas, Chobin, Bellum, the birds and Oblivion's Shadow, mocking him for his failures and inadequacies and all the lives they'd taken because he'd been too weak to stop them. And then those laughs changed again, into that of Lord Null and that ghoul that masqueraded as Misty, taunting him for the horrors he'd committed in the past. And then they morphed one last time…to become his _own_ laughter, reveling in the blood he had spilled and the lives he had ended both as a hero and as a monster, _gleefully_ looking forward to killing again, to making the whole world burn…

"I-inner…inner…inner peace…inner p-peace…" he whispered, the chant turning into a desperate mantra, a plea for salvation, one that would not be answered. The room began to shake as well, dust falling from the rafters and rolling across the floor. The candle's flame grew steadier, but its color darkened.

He saw the destruction of Pokétropolis. Paul's horrific death. The birds cruelly murdering his friends. His mother dying in his arms. His…his transformation into his worst nightmare…that embodiment of darkness and destruction, desiring nothing more than the end of all things, not out of hatred or disdain but simply because it was _there_.

His mouth opened. Nothing but a strangled, pathetic squeak emanated from his lips. Dust swirled in the air around him, forming strange patterns. The flame was standing unnaturally still, its hue turning darker and darker.

He saw her death, over and over again. He saw him cradle her body to his chest, weeping as the life fled from her and blood stained his clothes and face and hands. He saw his transformation once again into that most monstrous of monsters.

He saw…he saw…

_He saw the world end._

The flame turned pitch black.

Ash's eyes shot open. He was no longer alone in the room. Sitting in front of him on the opposite side of the candle, its posture matching his exactly, was what looked like a mirror image of himself…one made completely of black fire, empty white eyes staring out at him from a mass of flames darker than the darkest night. Ash stared in horror at the other Lucario, his breath catching in his throat.

"Boo," Misty's voice whispered into his ear, her rancid breath brushing the side of his face.

Ash jumped, screaming. The candle flared and went out, throwing the room into darkness, filled only by the ghoul's laughter.

The flame relit a second later, brighter than before, revealing that Ash was alone in the room. Also, there was a very large pile of dust sitting on the other side of the candle from him that looked disturbingly like some kind of sculpture of himself. As he panted, trying to catch his breath, the dust collapsed on itself and rose into the air, flying down his throat. Coughing as it started to choke him; Ash staggered to his feet and stumbled towards the door, desperately pounding on it as he struggled to expel the foreign substance from his lungs. The door opened abruptly, and he nearly fell out, stumbling across the floor as he tried to gain control of his coughing. A thick paw extended a glass of water to him. The Lucario gratefully snatched the glass from the paw and drank its contents in one gulp, sighing in relief as the dust was cleared from his throat. Panting, he wiped his mouth and handed the glass back to Master Brycen. "Thanks."

"You're most welcome," the masked Beartic said as he took back the glass, which disappeared in a burst of Aura. He frowned as he looked over Ash. The Lucario's fur was covered in dust and sticky from sweat, there were dark circles under his eyes (well, darker than usual), his breathing was ragged, and he was shaking slightly. "From your condition, I take it that you have failed to obtain inner peace."

"Wow, observant, isn't he?" Misty snarked.

Biting back a similar comment, Ash nodded miserably. "I couldn't do it. I…I tried as hard as I could, but…I just couldn't."

Brycen nodded, not looking surprised. "Inner peace is a difficult state to attain. It took me many years to reach that feeling of oneness with myself. You cannot expect to achieve the same in only a few days."

"A few days are all I have," Ash said bitterly. "I don't have years to put my heart back in balance. I need to purify myself as soon as possible. I can't…I can't possibly fight Oblivion's Shadow like this. He'll destroy me. Or worse…I'll destroy him, and everything else. Including my friends."

"I'm hoping for either outcome," Misty said cheerfully. "Though personally I'd prefer the first, but you know why."

Brycen shook his head apologetically. "I am sorry; Ash, but I do not know what else I can do for you. My attempts at Purging you or Diving into your heart have only met with failure, the knot of darkness inside you repelling all my attempts to dispel it. I have studied my own copy of _Secrets of an Aura Master,_ but if it holds the answers, it will not reveal them to me. The Life Equation is the only sure-fire thing I can think of that could destroy the darkness within you instantly, but there are none in Fichina who know it…or if there are, none of them will tell it. After all, it is theorized the Equation is different for every person, just as life itself holds a different meaning for every creature. I am afraid that only you can save yourself…which means that the only thing holding you back is also, well, yourself."

"Considering how the other attempts to 'fix' me over the past week have gone, I think you're right," Ash said unhappily. After the rather disastrous flashback triggered by the Fantasma's Star Badge, Ash had been desperately searching for any method, be it magical or scientific or mundane, to cure himself of his inner darkness. Fantina had pulled every string she knew of and had him examined by countless doctors and mystics and psychologists. None of them had been able to yield any positive results. Any mage or Psychic who delved too deeply into his heart or mind found themselves repulsed, just as Brycen had been…and if they tried too hard to peer into the abyss inside him, found their minds shattered and their magic destroyed…or worse. Innumerable artifacts and spells designed to destroy evil had been used on him. Every artifact had shattered and every spell backfired, some so badly they nearly killed the casters. He had bathed in several sacred springs, only for the springs to become unbearably foul and needed to be drained…or worse, condemned. He'd even tried gazing into the Mirror of Truth in Reshiram's temple in hopes that the spirit of the mirror could help him confront the truth he was apparently hiding from himself, since general consensus from everyone who'd examined him was that part of the reason the darkness was so strong was because he was still suppressing something about how it had come into being from himself…and paradoxically, that same suppression might have been the only reason that darkness hadn't overwhelmed him just yet.

The Mirror had shattered. Needless to say, he wasn't welcome back in the temple anymore. That, and he'd apparently been cursed with 7,777,777 years of bad luck, assuming Leo wasn't kidding around.

So far, training with Brycen in the monastery alongside other Aura Guardians, something he'd never had the privilege of back in Pokémon Square since he'd been the only Aura wielder around what with Aaron out on his journey of self-improvement, had been the only thing that brought some measure of peace to the turmoil of emotions inside of him and made the voice of the guilt-ghost, who had been pestering him worse than ever since he had seen the latest vision of the past, stay quiet for more than a little while. Unfortunately, while training in the monastery made him feel a little better, it didn't bring him any closer to being cured, and if this latest exercise, an attempt to balance himself and achieve inner peace through meditation and quiet contemplation, was anything to go by, he was not going to find a solution to his dilemma here.

"You're not going to find a solution anywhere, because there is none," Misty said cruelly. "All you're doing is putting off the inevitable, Ash. If you don't admit the truth, the darkness will eventually consume you. And if you _do_ admit the truth, it'll also consume you, but much faster. Damned if you do, damned if you don't, huh? Serves you right for everything you've done."

"How can I stop myself from making things that much more difficult for myself?" a frustrated Ash asked Brycen. "And _should_ I, if forcing my subconscious to finally reveal whatever it's hiding from me only drives me insane rather than helping me deal with…with this?"

The Beartic shrugged apologetically. "I'm sorry, Ash, but I don't know. I've done all that I could think of to help you. I'd really thought this exercise might work. I'm just as disappointed and frustrated as you are that it failed."

"Ha, I doubt that," Misty said. "After all, it's not _him_ who's slowly turning into an avatar of destruction, now is he?"

"All I know is that what you're doing to yourself isn't healthy, and is only leading to your own destruction," Brycen said. "Stopping it might achieve the same thing, yes, but it may also lead to your salvation. That is my hope, anyway."

"It's a false one," Misty said.

Ash nodded. "I guess that's as good as it's gonna get, huh?" He sighed in frustration, clenching his fists. "It's just…"

"Yes?" Brycen asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I…it's nothing," Ash lied.

Brycen frowned. "Ash, have you forgotten? You are not supposed to be bottling up your emotions anymore. That will only make things worse."

"I thought I was also supposed to keep my emotions under control," Ash questioned.

"There's a difference between keeping them under control and pretending they aren't there," Brycen pointed out. "What is…no, I shouldn't ask what the problem is, that's a stupid question. What I mean is…what did you want to say?"

Ash's shoulders slumped. He sighed, took a deep breath, and started talking. "I'm just…frustrated. Really, _really_ frustrated. I mean…I mean, look at all the resources I have. I'm in possibly the most magical place on Earth, surrounded by all kinds of incredible wizards and witches and sorcerers and mages and warlocks and whatever other synonyms for people who use magic are called. I'm sure Leo could think of a few dozen more if I asked him. I'm surrounded by tons of incredibly powerful individuals who are willing to help me, even _actual_ gods, and yet, for some reason, absolutely none of them are able to do _a thing_ about this…this _thing_ inside of me! It's not just frustrating, it's exasperating! Seriously, so much magic and power and other stuff, and not a one of them, not even _you_, can find a way to help me! It just…it just makes me want to…"

"Destroy the world? Kill yourself?" Misty suggested perkily.

"Ash…" Brycen said quietly.

"And on top of all that, I've got this tremendous responsibility looming over me! I'm apparently supposed to not only defeat Oblivion's Shadow and save the world, but I'm going to have to somehow beat the Ruler of Evil, the greatest evil there ever was, and save all of reality. Don't you think that's an _awful lot of pressure_ to put on one person?!" Ash asked, looking upset and despondent.

"Yes," Brycen agreed. "It is."

Ash put his face in his hands. "I'm…I'm sorry, I don't want to rant or sound selfish, but…I don't…I don't want to be the Chosen One anymore. I know I have to do it. I know I don't have a choice. But that doesn't change how I feel about it. Is that selfish of me?"

Brycen put a paw on the Lucario's shoulder. Ash looked up at him. "Not in the slightest," the Beartic said calmly. "It is completely and totally understandable that you would feel this way, Ash. You're right. An awful lot is being asked of you, and the fact that you already have so many other problems, problems that are apparently so great and deep-rooted that nobody but yourself can conquer them, isn't helping. Any person would feel scared and hurt and unhappy with such an arrangement, not just you. In fact, if you _didn't_ feel all those things, I'd think something was wrong with you."

"Maybe it would be better if that _was_ how I felt," Ash said unhappily. "Without all these emotions in the way, I'd probably be a much better weapon against evil."

"On the contrary, your ability to feel is one of your greatest assets. After all, Aura is powered by the heart, and the heart is nothing without emotions to fill it," Brycen said. "And while not all those emotions are necessarily positive—Shadow Aura has to come from somewhere, after all, something you know all too well—the fact that you can feel them just makes you that much more Pokémon. Nobody is perfect. Even the gods are flawed, something more of them could stand to acknowledge."

"It's my flaws that are causing this problem, though," Ash pointed out.

"Then it is those flaws you must resolve, one way or another," Brycen said. "Arceus made us all flawed, after all. Nobody's really sure why, but the prevailing theory is so that we have something to work against to prove the worth of our existence. Some of us…just have to work a little harder than others."

"Wow, that's uplifting," Misty said.

"That's not exactly the best motivational line I've heard," Ash said.

Brycen smiled apologetically. "There's a reason we don't have elevators or allow teleportation in this place. Walking up and down all the stairs cut into the mountainside whenever you're coming and going is strenuous and time-consuming, but ultimately worth it, just as the best things in life are. If you were not capable of conquering your demons, you wouldn't have made it past the first hundred steps the first time you climbed up here. I know it is hard, but I believe you have the capability to overcome. Everyone does. All of us are putting our hopes and faith in you, Ash, and I'm well aware that that's a pretty heavy burden on its own…but we wouldn't be laying all this on your shoulders if we didn't absolutely believe that you're capable of carrying it. We _know_ you are strong enough to prevail, Ash. Even if you doubt your own strength, always remember that we believe you can do it."

"That's supposed to make you feel better?" Misty sneered. "He's just putting that much more weight on you! Now you've gotta keep from letting all these people who believe in you down! Some motivation!"

"I'm not sure I can live up to all the expectations everyone has in me," Ash confessed, knowing he was supposed to be honest about his feelings.

Brycen smirked. "Oh really? Ash, tell me, how many Pokémon's lives have you saved?"

Ash frowned at this. "Uh…I dunno. I haven't exactly kept track. Pikachu had more of a head for numbers, and we usually let Scotty tally up points for that sort of thing."

"A rough guess, then," the Beartic said.

"Well…um…" Ash frowned in thought. Just how many Rescue missions had he been on, anyway? "Gosh, I don't know. A…a lot, I guess."

"And how many times have you saved the world?" Brycen pressed.

Ash blushed at this. "I've lost track of that, too. Over a dozen times, maybe? Maybe more?"

"You can do all that, and you _still_ don't think we're right to believe in you?" Brycen asked with a grin.

Ash blinked. Slowly, a smile came to his face. "Well…when you put it that way…"

"And even if it still feels like too much, remember this: where was it ever said that only you could bear this burden?" Brycen asked.

"Huh? What are you talking about?" Ash asked in confusion. "I'm the Chosen _One_. Doesn't that mean it's all on me?"

"When you saved all those Pokémon's lives, and even the world, how often did you do it all by yourself?" Brycen asked.

Ash considered this. "Well…not that often, I guess. Every time I got involved in something big, I was only able to succeed with the help of my friends."

"And that's exactly what you'll do this time, too," Brycen said confidently. "Your friends will stand beside you no matter what happens. They will help shoulder the weight destiny has laid upon you, as they have in the past. And remember that they are not the only ones supporting you. Or do you think that you are the only ones who will be fighting the Nihilators in the days to come? All of Fichina, nay, the entire _world_ has agreed to come together against this great threat. This is not just your fight anymore, Ash. All of us are involved. And all of us will work together to save our world." He smiled. "You are not the only one who has to be the hero, after all."

"I…yeah. Yeah, I guess that's true," Ash realized. "I'm not the only one fighting, am I? But…in the end, won't it still come down to me to take down the Shadow and the Ruler of Evil?"

"Perhaps, but do you really think your friends will let you fight those fiends on your own?" Brycen asked.

"No," Ash admitted. "But if they try to stand beside me, they might get killed."

"And that's stopped them before?" Brycen asked dismissively.

Ash found himself smiling again. "Heh. No, I guess not."

"And that's going to make you feel better when they all get killed because they chose to get involved in a fight beyond their abilities to handle?" Misty snarled.

"They could still die, though," Ash said uneasily.

"That still won't stop them. And if they die…well…then at least they made sure that you weren't alone, when you needed them most," Brycen said.

"Some reassurance," Misty grunted.

"And Ash…think on this. Being the Chosen One is not easy, I understand that. But…would you really allow yourself to give the mantle, and the responsibility that comes with it, to another?" Brycen asked.

"The thought is tempting," Ash said honestly. "I mean, there've been plenty of people who've said that I'm not fit to have the title."

"Yes, but if you had the chance to give it up, would you actually do it?" Brycen asked. Ash started to open his mouth. "And before you say anything, remember this: whoever becomes the Chosen One instead will have to deal with everything you are right now."

"What, even the darkness within?" Ash asked skeptically.

"Well…maybe not that," Brycen admitted. "But remember, you are not the only hero who has had to wrestle with his demons. You know far better than I that being the Chosen One does not make you exempt from that. So, with that in mind: if you could give up being the Chosen One, knowing that somebody else would have to take up the title, and all the terrible responsibility and expectations that come with it, would you?"

Ash thought about this. He thought long and hard for several minutes, while Brycen waited patiently and Misty whispered insults and lies in his ear. Finally, he sighed and said, "There's a part of me—a really big part of me—that wants to. That wants to let someone else have to deal with all this shit, so I can have something approximating a normal life, or at least one without so many people counting on me. That wants to give the job to someone more balanced and well-adjusted, someone who's way more qualified and suited for the position than me."

Brycen nodded. "But?"

"But…I can't," Ash admitted. "It's the irresponsible thing to do. All my life, day in and day out, I've run into people who needed help, people who needed a hero. For whatever reason, I was the one they found, and the one who gave them the assistance they needed. There was no way of knowing if someone else would come along to help them out if I ignored them and kept on going, and no way to tell if that someone, whoever it was, would not only help them rather than doing the same thing I did but would even be capable of giving them the kind of help they needed. I know now this is because a lot of my childhood was set up by the powers that be to put me in this mindset, to make me incapable of turning my back on anyone. But even knowing that…even knowing I'm like this because they made me this way…I could never forgive myself if I refused to help the people who need it, the people who are counting on me, just because I'm having some issues of my own at the moment. I made that mistake once, back in the past…and even now, I still think that I might have been able to keep the world from ending if I had just gone to train with the Aura Guardians, rather than going to some stupid tournament. The world is more important than my dreams…no matter how painful it might be to turn my back on those dreams, at least _I'm_ the only person who'd be hurt by doing that, which is more than could be said if I turned my back on the world." He shook his head. "I just…can't. I can't let someone else do this, because there's no way to know if they can do it in my place, or even if they'll succeed. I don't know if I will, either, but…if _I_ do it, then at least I know I'll be doing my best to make sure it gets done _right,_ which is something I can't be positive will happen if I let someone else take a whack at it."

"Not even Ritchie? He seems like a pretty capable fellow, and there are more than a few people who seem to think that he might make a better Chosen One than you are," Brycen said. "Especially since he lacks your…baggage."

"Ha! So not even he believes you can do it!" Misty Murkrowed.

Ash ignored her. "Ritchie's a great guy. And you're right, he doesn't have my baggage, and with that armor of his, he may actually be a more powerful hero than I am. But he has his own path to follow. And aside from that…" Ash shook his head. "He doesn't know the evil of the Nihilators. Not really. He's seen what they're capable of, heard what they've been doing…but he doesn't have the same experience with them that I do. Until last week, the worst kinds of people he's had to fight were religious zealots who, while willing to kill hundreds of people to achieve their goals, are at least willing to minimize collateral damage and threats to civilians, and believe in some twisted way that they're doing the right thing. The Nihilators aren't like that. They're evil, pure and simple. They don't care who gets hurt, or how, so long as they have fun doing it. He's not ready to face something like that, not really. Against Oblivion's Shadow…I don't think he'd last for more than a minute. And while I'm not sure I'm quite ready, either, I think I might be more qualified to handle it than him…I've had more experience fighting the Nihilators. I know what they're like. I know what they can do. This is also why I know that I can't risk letting him fight them, because while he's heard what they can do, he doesn't really understand it…and that lack of comprehension could get him killed."

Brycen nodded, looking pleased. "And that is why you are the Chosen One. Because you are willing to take on the impossible burden, to face an unimaginable foe, because you cannot allow anyone else to risk themselves in your place."

Ash smirked ruefully. "Well, that's one way of putting it. It could also just be my Lucario genetics talking. There's a reason pretty much none of my species has ever been evil or were even just a bystander during a fight, as far as I know."

"I'm sure that has a part in it too," Brycen agreed. He reached out and gently touched a claw to Ash's chest, right over his heart. "But there is more to a Pokémon than just their DNA, Ash. You are not a hero because you are a Lucario. You're a hero because you're _you_."

"…Thank you, Master," Ash said quietly.

"Oh please, what a load of Tauroscrap," Misty said derisively. "You know what I think? What I _know?_ That you're going to fail. That you're going to let everyone down, just like you let me down. Because you're _you_, Ash Ketchum, and ultimately, all you are is nothing more than a giant _failure_!"

"Well, enough of that philosophizing and soul-searching for one day," the Beartic said, clapping a paw on Ash's shoulder and guiding him down the hall past other meditation chambers, some occupied, some not. "We need to get you to the Draconian Embassy. General Shinobu of the Draconian Empire should be arriving shortly so he can meet you and your friends, as well as see his daughter in the ectoplasm for the first time in their unlives. And on the day before her wedding, too! That should certainly be quite the event, don't you think?"

Ash nodded. "It's certainly shaping up to be, Master. When my mom heard, she was rather disappointed we hadn't asked her to help set it up."

"Ah, that's right, your family is coming too, along with young DeKappa's, correct?" Brycen recalled.

Ash nodded. "That's the plan, Master. It'll…it'll be nice to see them all again."

Brycen smirked. "And who knows? Perhaps they'll help you find the peace you've been lacking so far."

"Or maybe they'll push you over the edge, once they realize just how much of a monster you really are," Misty hissed.

"One can only hope," Ash said wistfully.

"Anyway, let's pick up your son. I don't think he'd be happy if he missed the chance to meet his other siblings and uncles and grandparents because he got too caught up in his training!" Brycen said, stopping at one of the doors lining the hallway. "I haven't checked on him recently, but he seemed to be doing pretty well on his meditation the last time I saw him," the Beartic commented as he started undoing the locks on the chamber door. "The boy has really flourished since he started training here. He seems to have the makings of a true prodigy. Why, I wouldn't be surprised if he'd managed to achieve inner peace already!"

"Heh, that would be something, wouldn't it?" Ash chuckled.

"Not bloody likely," Misty said.

Brycen gently opened the door…

Revealing Tiny, lying on his side, fast asleep, the flame of his candle flickering as each of his mighty snores blew air on it. Ash and Brycen sweatdropped. Misty burst into laughter. "Called it!" she said.

"Well, that's _one_ form of peace…" Brycen muttered as Ash shook his head in amusement.

"That's my boy," Ash said with a grin. "Come on, let's wake him up, I don't want to miss the arrival! Mom'll never let me hear the end of it if I'm late…"

…

Meanwhile, in New Avalon…

Floating high above the Bay of Enchantment and the Royal Palace taking up the central stretch of Fichina's capital city, the gravity-defying land mass known as the Holy Isle was one of the most eye-catching sights in the magical metropolis, and considering how many eye-catching sights were to be found in New Avalon, that was saying something. Its stunning giant statue of the Original One could be seen from just about everywhere in the city, casting its shadow over all below it and reminding everyone that Arceus was always watching. Connected to the temples on the mountains ringing New Avalon by rainbow bridges, the Holy Isle was both the headquarters of Fichina's local branch of the Arcean Order as well as a common ground where clergy from each faith could gather to have religious debates and discuss nation-wide matters of philosophy and faith and throw wild and crazy parties which they justified as being 'worship' to their respective gods.

Much like the other giant statues of legendary Pokémon, the massive sculpture of Arceus was hollow inside and served as the city's temple to venerate the Creator. A plaza covered in a magnificent glittering mosaic depicting Arceus creating the Omniverse out of nothingness was placed at the base of the statue's feet, with a great white flame burning in a brazier in the center of the plaza. This holy flame was one of the most sacred artifacts of the Arcean Order, said to be burning with a tiny fragment of the fires of Creation themselves. (It also served as a great campfire for pilgrims, acolytes, and members of the Magic Scouts who wanted to camp out at the base of the statue, and marshmallows toasted in the flame were said to have a taste that left those who consumed them feeling saintly and devoted to goodness and purity for days after the fact.) The plaza was usually filled with crowds of pilgrims and priests going to and from the temple, but today the plaza was almost unnaturally free of Pokémon…

The four gods who had booked the plaza and the sacred flame for their own purposes that morning might have had something to do with it. A great many Pokémon were looking on in wonder at the living deities from inside the temple of Arceus, from the Holy Isle proper, or from the skies and outlying floating islands around them, but aside from the gods and the select individuals who had been chosen to join them that day, the plaza was bare, making the mosaic covering it more visible than it usually was.

Pikachu shook his head in amazement as he stared up at the statue looming over them. "This has to be one of the most spectacular temples to Arceus I've ever seen…from what I've heard, second only to the Arcean Order's central compound in the holy city of Yeshuva."

Mirami, who was floating next to him, nodded. "We are very proud of zis temple. It took quite some time to construct and shape to perfection, even wiz magic to aid ze builders." She smiled fondly. "I 'ave loved coming 'ere ever since I was a little girl. My mozzer and sisters 'ave always been faizful devotees of Mew, which I respect, but…for some reason I've always felt a stronger connection to ze Arceans. It makes me feel like I'm a little closer to my fazzer, wherever 'e is."

Pikachu fidgeted, wondering again if he should mention he had a strong suspicion as to who her father was. "I'm sure you'll meet him someday, Mirami. Maybe even sooner than you think."

"I certainly 'ope so," the Sableye said sadly. "And maybe I can finally learn more about what 'appened between 'im and my mozzer…she's razzer tight-lipped about ze subject, somezing which 'asn't been a problem wiz ze fazzers of my siblings."

"Well, from what we've heard so far, she really loved him," Leo, who was also present, said. "Someone like that walking out of your life can leave more of an impact on you than some guy you were just shagging for fun. Er, or so I've heard. Not that I'd know much more than that on the subject."

Mirami nodded. "Zank you, I zink so too." She smiled and turned to Lily. "Speaking of fazzers…after we're done 'ere, you're going to meet yours! 'ow exciting! I envy you. 'ow do you feel about it?"

"Utterly terrified," Lily said morbidly, the Yukihimi wand turning over and over in the air before her as she telekinetically fidgeted with it.

"Really? Why is that?" asked Princess Boa, who was accompanying the heroes along with some of the children of the major dignitaries they had met on their first day in Fichina. After the tumultuous events of the 97,54th session of the Grand Council, It had been strongly recommended Team Aurabolt allow the Princess and some of her friends to tag along with the heroes as they experienced what Fichina had to offer, allegedly to serve as tour guides and to learn more about heroics and fighting evil from those who'd gotten some real field experience doing it, but also for political purposes, to show that their families—some of the most powerful in Fichina—were throwing their support behind the anti-Nihilator venture they had ignited by coming to Fichina just a week ago. Their children making friends with the heroes would reflect well on them, and make it look like they were that much more committed to the cause of ridding the world of the Nihilators once and for all. Pikachu detested that kind of power play, being more suited to a battle of swords rather than the drawn-out and messy business of politics, but understood the necessity, given that they weren't fighting the Nihilators on their own anymore but had an entire nation—possibly several—working with them, which had both its benefits and drawbacks. Putting up with some irritating privileged brats was one of them.

Well, that was a little unfair. Pikachu hadn't been happy about their new hangers-on at first, but had gradually grown to like most of them and enjoy their company, much as he'd grown to like and enjoy…well, tolerate Leo's company. Princess Boa was elegant, clever, not at all spoiled or entitled, and quite good with a sword, as their sparring sessions indicated. Ambassador Stoutroot's daughter, Melanie the Bulbasaur, was very kind and considerate, and more than a little shy, which Leo said made her 'moe' and that much more adorable. (None of them knew what he was talking about, and none of them cared to.) Don George's daughter, Bianca the Pignite, was a bit of an airhead, kind of clumsy and disorganized, and maybe a little impatient and obsessed with cuteness, but was otherwise fun to be around.

Dealing with the last two children, the offspring of Daimyo Leeku and Lord Drayden, was a bit more trying, however. Jujimaru the Oshawott, Leeku's son, was clingy; always trying to be the center of attention, rather boastful, and also an utter coward who couldn't even swing a sword with his eyes open. The reasoning behind the rather disparaging comment the Daimyo had made about his son soon became evident to Pikachu after only spending a few minutes with the wannabe samurai, who was constantly invading Pikachu's personal space and begging him to make him his apprentice, which Pikachu had refused to do on the rather reasonable grounds that 1) he didn't have time, 2) the kid was so sloppy with his sword it was a wonder he hadn't killed himself or anyone else by now and Pikachu honestly didn't think anything could be done for him, and 3) he really, really, really, _really_ didn't like him. Dawn had started dropping hints lately that she could arrange for something (hopefully) nonlethal to happen to Jujimaru that could never be traced back to them that might make him a little more inclined to leave Pikachu alone in the future. Pikachu was strongly considering taking her up on her offer.

Iris the Axew, daughter of Lord Drayden, wasn't much better. She was hyper and bold, which normally wouldn't be that big a deal since those terms could be used to describe most of Team Aurabolt, but she was also kind of obnoxious and seemed to have allowed the position of being daughter of the leader of all of Fichina's dragons go somewhat to her head. She also seemed to think of herself as some kind of battle prodigy since she'd built up a 99-win streak against other, much bigger and stronger Dragon-types, and seemed oblivious to the fact that they let her win because they were afraid of the tantrums she might throw if she lost or what she might say to her father about them 'beating her up.' As a result, she seemed to think of herself as being equal to, if not _superior_, to the heroes in combat, and for some bizarre reason kept calling Ash a 'kid'-even though she was much younger than him-due to his utter lack of knowledge about how anything in Fichina worked and some of the goofy and embarrassing mistakes he'd made during her time following them around the city. The only reason they hadn't told her off yet was because of the political issues that required her to hang out with them and were afraid of what the repercussions of rejecting her might do to the war effort, and even then it was getting harder to hold their tongues and tell her what they really thought of her. It was astonishing that Briney had held out for as long as he had so far, but then again, maybe that's why he'd started drinking so heavily again…as had Tiny…

"I've never met my father before now except over a computer, and those little interactions, along with everything I've heard about him, don't paint a pretty picture of him," Lily said unhappily.

Leo nodded. "If half the stories I've read about him online are true, he's technically killed just almost as many people as Bellum has, sometimes in bloodier and much more violent ways."

_Those stories are all true,_ Dawn clicked. _Er…or so I've heard,_ she added quickly, recalling that nobody outside their group knew she was actually technically still an agent of the Draconian Empire.

"My dad fought alongside him one time a couple hundred years ago, back when he was still in the army," Iris bragged. "He said watching Shinobu in action was one of the most horrifying and awe-inspiring things he'd ever seen! He slaughtered at least two hundred enemy soldiers single-talonedly! Literally, it's amazing the things you can do to a person with just one claw. Strangely enough, after that battle Dad quit the army and signed on for a diplomatic position all the way out here. I never quite understood why…"

They stared at her blankly. "…Yeah, I think I have an idea why," Leo said flatly as Melanie whimpered in fright and had to be comforted by Boa.

Iris blinked. "Really? Why?" They sweatdropped.

"That's…not making me feel any better," Lily said unhappily.

"Me neither," Jujimaru whimpered, quivering. "I, uh, don't suppose I could just go home early and skip out on meeting him?"

Iris grabbed the cowardly Oshawott before he could step away. "No! General Shinobu is going to see the both of us together, and he is going to see that we are a worthy and powerful couple and that the future of the Draconian Empire can be trusted in our hands, and you are _not_ going to screw this chance for me to impress him and show him what a strong and capable womon I am, do you hear me?!"

Jujimaru cowered beneath the Axew's wrath. "Y-yes, dear."

"Mon, am I glad that's not us," Leo muttered to Lily.

Lily nodded. "Are all arranged marriages like that?"

"It 'as nozing to do wiz zem being affianced by zeir families, and everyzing to do wiz zem being…well, zemselves," Mirami murmured.

Princess Boa nodded. "There's a reason Jujimaru is the best match Drayden could find for his daughter. He's the only one spineless enough to be able to spend an extended amount of time around her without wanting to kill her. Or himself."

"Heh, yeah, I can see that," Leo snickered.

"I've…um…I've met your father, Lily," Melanie said quietly. "He's…well…he is pretty scary…"

"Oh…" Lily said, her face falling.

"But, um, but he's not like Bellum!" the Bulbasaur said quickly. "Not…not really."

Boa nodded. "Unlike Bellum, he's able to show restraint and has a measure of control over his killing edge. He also only directs it against those he considers to be enemies of the Empire, never those under his command…though he can be very harsh to them, I'll admit. However, he is extremely loyal to Rayquaza and lives…er…unlives only to serve him and the Empire as a whole. He has no interest in accruing power for himself; he just wants what's best for the Empire. He just, ah, thinks that's sometimes easier with a little violence applied in the right place."

"Ah," Lily said, not entirely reassured.

"Plus, he's got a wife, which means he has a heart, which is more than can be said of your mom, right?" Bianca suggested.

Leo nodded. "Yeah, I mean, come on, I'm pretty sure he loves you! I know he also scares the heck out of you, but the fact that he actually _cares_ about you, unlike your mom, has gotta be good for something, right? Plus, he actually _approves_ of our marriage! I think. I mean, he hasn't forbidden it in so many words, though I'm not one hundred percent sure he thinks I'm the best match for you, but the fact that he's letting us go through with it means he must want you to be happy, since if he _didn't_ want us to be together, he'd have had me assassinated or something, and that hasn't happened, so it's all good!" There was a pause. He glanced at Dawn. "Um, he's not going to have me assassinated, is he?"

_Not to my knowledge,_ Dawn said. _Er, because I'm a ninja, and know how that sort of thing works. And you're not dead yet, so he probably won't have you killed._

"Good enough for me!" Leo said cheerfully.

"But not for me," Lily said anxiously.

"Ah, relax Lily, it'll be fine!" Leo assured her. "Look, I know you're a bit freaked out about meeting your dad, but I'm gonna be with you, just like all of us are, so you can count on all of us to give you the support you need! Not that you'll need it because he's totally not going to try anything. Probably."

Lily grimaced. Pikachu facepalmed. "Leo…"

"And besides," Leo continued. "Even if you're not too keen on your dad, I'm sure you'll love your stepmom, she seems pretty cool. I mean, she goes around wearing cat ears all the time! That practically makes her a neko girl, and neko girls are awesome and cute, and someone who gets married to a neko girl can't be _all_ bad, right?"

Everyone stared at him in confusion. "I…what?" asked the confused Lily.

"I don't get it," said the confused Bianca, scratching her head.

"I'm starting to think that's a common thing when around Leo…" Boa murmured.

"You would be absolutely right to think that," Pikachu said flatly.

"And aside from that," Leo continued boldly. "You've also got _my_ parents, who are absolutely gonna love you!"

"I…am looking forward to meeting your parents," Lily admitted, a ghost (ha!) of a smile forming on her face. "Th-they seem like perfectly nice Pokémon, and those new…er…siblings of yours seem likable, if a bit…ah…excitable."

_That's one word for incredibly rambunctious giant baby Gibles,_ Dawn clicked.

"Heck yeah, it's gonna be an awesome reunion, what with my folks, your folks—sans your mom—and Ash and Pikachu's folks all showing up to celebrate our big fat Fichina wedding!" Leo whooped. "This wedding is gonna be OFF! THE! HOOK!"

"…Our wedding was hanging from a hook?" asked a confused Lily.

Jujimaru gasped in alarm. "Oh no! If it falls off, won't it break?! We can't let that happen! Quick, let's find a stronger hook to hang it from!" Everyone stared at him. "What?"

Iris facepalmed. "When we meet General Shinobu, you are not to open your mouth. At all."

"Why?" the Oshawott asked.

"Because whenever you do, something stupid comes out," she said.

"But I need to open my mouth, how else am I supposed to breathe?" Jujimaru asked.

"…Through your nose?" Bianca suggested.

"I can't, I've got a cold, it's all stuffed up," the Oshawott said, sniffling.

"Oh," Bianca said.

"You guys have tons of magic but no cure for the common cold?" Leo asked incredulously.

"It's not the common cold," Boa said. "Diseases here lean more towards the magical. Our variation of the cold actually freezes someone solid. The medication he's taking for it is the only thing keeping him from being a block of ice at the moment."

"Oh," Leo said.

"Magic illnesses? That doesn't sound pleasant," Pikachu said in concern.

"Especially for guys like us, who are distinctly not-magical and haven't been vaccinated for that sort of thing," Leo said nervously, taking a few steps away from the sniffling Oshawott. "There wouldn't happen to be much of the vaporizing flu going around, would there?"

"Nah, we eradicated that centuries ago," Bianca said confidently.

"Ah. That's a relief," Leo said.

"Actually, zere 'ave been new cases reported lately. It seems to be springing up again," Mirami said.

"Oh," Bianca said in alarm. "Well, that's not good."

"Ah, crap," Leo moaned.

"…I'm guessing from the name and your reactions that vaporizing flu is bad news?" Pikachu asked.

"There are two variants of it: one that causes everything you sneeze at to get vaporized, and one that causes the person who's infected to gradually vaporize," Lily explained. "Naturally, Mother's tried to weaponize it. It didn't work."

"Zank goodness for zat," Mirami said.

"So, uh, are we at any risk of catching…" Pikachu asked.

"No, it only can be caught by Pokémon who have magic," Iris said, rolling her eyes. "_Obviously_. What a kid."

"It didn't seem that obvious to me, but that's a relief," Pikachu said, rather annoyed by Iris's condescension.

"Except that Lily can use magic," Leo said in concern. "And we're kinda in a country full of magicians, so if we run into someone who's got the sneezy variant, we might be in trouble."

"…Ah. That's a good point," Pikachu said with a frown as Lily paled.

"Don't worry, it's pretty easy to prevent. You just need a shot and you should be fine," Boa assured the worried Misdreavus.

"A shot? But…I…I don't like needles…" Lily said, growing more nervous.

Pikachu sighed. "Let me guess, because your mother stuck you with them all the time to inject horrible things into your body?"

"And impaled you with non-medical needles for shits and giggles?" Leo guessted.

Lily blinked in surprise. "Yes, how did you know?"

"It's your mother. Of course she's going to do something like that," Pikachu said wearily. Lily flushed, admitting this was the truth.

"Weren't we just talking about Lily's father a minute ago?" asked the confused Melanie. "How'd we get on the subject of magical diseases?"

_This thing tends to happen a lot around us, trust me,_ Dawn said.

Leo nodded. "Yeah, like the time we let Ash drown for several minutes so Pikachu and I could have a discussion about condoms and the responsible use of them!"

All the native Fichinans stared at him in incredulity. "I…what?" asked the dumbfounded Iris.

"It's not worth getting into, trust me," Pikachu said deadpan.

"…Why would you let your friend _drown_ so you could talk about condoms?!" asked the shocked Boa.

"Oh, he was never in any danger," Leo said cheerfully. "Talking is a Free Action, after all."

"…_What?!"_ Boa asked in disbelief.

"I repeat: it's not worth getting into," Pikachu groaned.

Thankfully, before the members of Team Aurabolt could be questioned further, Lugia, who was one of the four gods who had reserved the use of the plaza, approached them. "We have finished our preparations," the sea god informed them. "Pikachu, Lily, and Dawn, we are ready to infuse your weapons with the powers of the elemental trio."

"Which elemental trio?" Jujimaru asked. "I mean, there's kind of a lot of them."

"Why is that, anyway? Isn't one trio enough to handle the forces of nature?" Bianca wondered.

"Actually, no," Lugia said. "Not on this world, anyway. The primordial forces of fire, ice, and lightning are immense, nearly infinite in their power. Here on Earth, multiple deities are required to properly keep that force under control so it doesn't cause devastating disasters and imbalances in nature."

"Then why did the elements seem to go out of control whenever the birds got agitated?" Pikachu asked.

"Because they were terrible at their jobs," Lugia said flatly.

"Oh," Pikachu said. "That…yeah, that makes a lot of sense."

"So, it's the bird trio's powers we're talking about here?" Jujimaru asked.

"Well, yeah, weren't you listening? Geez!" Iris said in annoyance.

"I was," the Oshawott lied. "I just thought those powers were going to go to new gods or something, since the last ones that had them were so lousy." He gasped, eyes widening as he turned towards Pikachu, Lily, and Dawn. "Unless…that means you three are going to become a new elemental trio?! Oh! Oh, that is so cool!"

"No, no! We're not going to become gods!" Pikachu protested quickly. "Er…right, Lugia?"

Lugia shook his head. "No, we are infusing your weapons with a fraction of the power of the birds, rather than giving it to you in its entirety. As you are now, that much raw elemental power would destroy your mortal bodies in an instant."

"And instead of turning them into gods, that'd just kill them, which is totally lame," Leo complained.

"I don't mind not being a god," Lily said. "I mean, I'm still not completely comfortable suddenly becoming a wealthy heiress with an estate and servants and more money than I know what to do with. Being a deity on top of all that would be far too much for my liking."

"Not for mine…" Leo muttered.

"So…why are they using the bird's powers rather than our own elemental trio?" Jujimaru asked.

Iris frowned at this. "Hey yeah, why is that? Our dragons are much better than some lame-o birds!"

"Since the birds are dead and their power is unattached, it would be easier to impart some of it into weapons," Lugia said. "The dragons certainly could use their own power—and they will, although to a lesser extent—but I believe they will soon need as much strength as they can possibly muster to deal with the coming battle, so it would be a good idea not for them to drain themselves too much powering up some weapons."

"Oh. I _guess_ that makes sense…" Iris said reluctantly.

"I shall grant you three a blessing of my own, although it will not be as fundamental as the one the trio shall bestow upon you," Lugia continued. "But when we are finished here, you will be stronger than ever before…and the sacred sword Thunder Fang will be greater than it has ever been!"

"Heh. My Dad'll love to hear that," Pikachu commented. "When he heard the sword had lost some of its power due to our killing Zapdos, he nearly had a heart attack and passed out right on the spot, and was in mourning until I told him we'd restore it to its original glory, if not surpassing it."

"That sword means a lot to your family, doesn't it?" Boa asked.

Pikachu nodded. "It's the symbol of my bloodline, the thing that gave us our name and elevated us to prominence. It's as much a member of our family as I am. The Thunderblades would not exist without Thunder Fang. This blade defines us and represents all the honor and ideals we strive to uphold."

"What happened to 'a sword is just a sword?'" Leo snarked.

"I'm not saying we wouldn't still be Thunderblades without the sword," Pikachu said. "It just means a lot to us, is all. It's symbolic of everything we stand for as samurai."

"And soon, it shall be strong enough to uphold those virtues once more…strength that you will need in the days to come," Lugia said.

"Ooh! Ooh! Can you bless my sword too?!" Jujimaru asked excitedly, drawing his sword in a wild swing that nearly took Iris's head off.

"Ack! Watch what you do with that thing!" the Axew shrieked, scurrying back in alarm.

"No," Lugia said flatly.

"Awww, but why not?" the Oshawott whined.

"Because you are not worthy," Lugia said, with the implication that the Oshawott might never be going unspoken. Naturally, this went straight over Jujimaru's head.

"Why does everyone keep saying that about me?" the Oshawott complained as he put his hands on his hips, seeming to forget he was still holding a sword in the process and nearly cutting his leg off.

"Put that thing away!" Pikachu hissed angrily. "Before you hurt someone or yourself! You call yourself a samurai, flailing that thing around so casually?! A samurai should only draw his sword in battle!"

"Really? But haven't you drawn your sword lots of times outside of battle, too?" Leo asked.

"…No," Pikachu said after a moment.

"You sure about that? Because I could have sworn-" Leo started.

"ANYWAY," Pikachu shouted. "Let's do this, shall we?"

_Very well,_ Dawn said.

"Um…just to be clear…the fact that my wand is already ice-themed won't be a problem, will it? I mean, since it's going to be attuned to fire now?" Lily asked nervously.

"It will be fine, Lily. Your wand is actually elementally neutral, it just looks like its ice-themed since it was crafted and wielded by your family, who were traditionally cryomancers," Lugia assured her. "However, you, ah, may want to be careful using it around your manor. Don't want to go around melting it or anything by mistake."

"Yeah, that would be pretty embarrassing," Leo commented as Lily blushed. "Still, you can always rebuild it pretty easily, right?"

"Well, yes, but that wouldn't make it any less humiliating…" Lily said, her face still red.

"You're a fire witch living in a house of ice, it's to be expected," Leo said. "Good thing that's not a problem for the rest of us, right?"

"Actually, we regularly need to have electricians come over to our house due to our ambient Electrical powers short-circuiting the power or frying our machines despite our best efforts at shock-proofing them, hence why we don't have many electronics and why we tend to go through televisions so fast, especially when it's sports season," Pikachu said.

"…Oh. Huh," Leo said, looking awkward. "I did not know that." He gasped. "Wait a minute, this explains everything! You grew up without Internet access! You poor thing, no wonder you're always so uptight and culturally unaware!" Pikachu facepalmed, Lily blinked and Dawn shook her head in bemusement.

Lugia chuckled. "Entertaining as always, Leo…shall we? I think the others will get impatient if we keep them waiting much longer."

Pikachu nodded. "Okay. Enough goofing around, guys, let's do this."

"Sweet!" Leo said as Lugia started leading the members of Team Aurabolt towards the sacred flame. "Good thing I have my camera ready! I bet this is gonna make for some awesome footage for the documentary I've been making on our adventures!"

_You've been making a documentary about us?_ Dawn asked.

"Well, yeah. After this is all over, we're gonna be ultra-famous world-class heroes! Everyone's gonna want to know how we did it! Our story has to be recorded for posterity, so future generations will know what really happened when we set out to save the world!"

"And this documentary is completely accurate, I take it?" Pikachu asked skeptically.

Leo fidgeted. "Wellll…there may be a _little_ creative editing involved…"

Pikachu's eye twitched. "…Leo, what kind of edits did you make?"

"Uh, well, you see…hey look, it's Reshiram, Zekrom, and Kyurem! Let's go say hi to them!" Leo said loudly, rushing ahead of Lugia towards the three dragons gathered around the sacred flame.

"Leo! What kind of edits did you make?!" Pikachu shouted as he chased after the Squirtle.

…_You are marrying a madmon, _Dawn commented to a sweatdropping Lily.

"Yes…well…at least he's using his madness for good…most of the time…" Lily said.

"Ash, where did you _find_ these companions of yours?" Lugia murmured incredulously.

"Oh, Ash met Pikachu in Pokémon Square, and they ran into Leo at Turtle Town, and they first met Dawn in the castle just outside of-" Lily started.

"It was a rhetorical question," Lugia said.

"Oh. Right," Lily said in embarrassment.

"Quite the motley crew there," Boa commented as Pikachu chased Leo in circles around the sacred flame while the three dragons stared on in bewilderment. "Not my first pick to save the world, but I suppose they could be worse…though I'm having a hard time figuring out how."

"We're really going to let Lily make such a major change to one of Fichina's founding artifacts like that?" Iris asked with a frown as the heroes approached the flame. "I can't imagine her ancestors would be happy about that…"

"How would you know, they're all dead," Melanie pointed out.

"They were traditionally cryomancers! Of _course_ they'd be annoyed that their family wand was being transformed into a weapon of the opposing element!" the Axew snapped.

"Zey were probably also annoyed zat Bellum went insane and murdered all of zem, causing zeir estate and legacy to fall into ruin," Mirami pointed out. "Compared to zat, what Lily's doing isn't zat big a deal."

"I'm not entirely happy with one of the founding artifacts being altered like this either," Boa admitted. "But…it's for a worthy cause, and there isn't exactly anyone else on Team Aurabolt who could receive a Fire-based upgrade. I personally think she'd be better off getting the power of ice to be more like her lineage, but she's already attuned to fire and Dawn is more in touch with ice herself, so…I guess it's a necessary sacrifice."

"I guess so…though I don't really see why they couldn't _both_ get an ice blessing…" Iris muttered.

"Then nobody would get fire, and that would cause one of those elemental imbalance things we're trying to avoid," Melanie pointed out.

"Why not give fire to someone who's not part of Team Aurabolt, then? Like…I dunno, Bianca?" Iris suggested.

Bianca blinked. "Who, me?"

"Yeah, why not? You're a Fire-type, aren't you?" Iris said.

Bianca scratched the back of her head uneasily. "Well, yeah, but…"

"It can't be Bianca," Boa said.

Both Iris and Bianca blinked. "Huh? Why not?" Iris asked.

"Yeah, why not?" Bianca asked, hurt.

"Because it's highly unlikely she's going to be on the front lines battling against the Nihilators, like Team Aurabolt is going to be," Boa said.

Melanie nodded. "Since they have the most experience fighting the Nihilators, when the Mars initiative is launched they'll be sent along with the rest of our forces to take out the Nihilators' central base. And since they're going right into enemy territory, they'll need as much power as they can get. Bianca, on the other hand, is going to stay here in Fichina, so there's no reason for her to receive that power if she isn't going to be able to do anything with it."

"Oh…yeah, I guess that makes sense," Bianca said, feeling both relieved and slightly disappointed.

"…I guess so…but then, why not give the power to a Fire-type who _is_ going to Mars instead?" Iris pressed.

"Since two warriors from Team Aurabolt are already receiving elemental power, it would make sense for a zird to as well," Mirami pointed out. "It's one of zose balance zings."

"Oh," Iris said, looking disgruntled.

"Why are you making such a big deal about this, anyway?" Jujimaru asked. "I thought you hated Ice-types."

"I don't _hate_ Ice-types! Don't make me sound racist!" Iris said angrily. "I just…don't like them very much. At all. Dragon-types are weak against Ice-types, after all."

"Boa and I are weak against Fire-types, but we're still friends with Bianca," Melanie pointed out.

"And I'm weak against Water-types, but I'm frie…er…tolerate Jujimaru…" Bianca said.

"And I'm weak against Electric-types but that doesn't stop me from thinking Pikachu-Sensei-sama-chan is incredibly amazingly awesome!" Jujimaru gushed.

Iris's eye twitched. She folded her arms and grumbled, "You're all so childish…"

"Aren't we all older than her?" Melanie asked. Absolutely everyone except Iris nodded, causing the Axew to fume more.

"So…you never answered the question of why you're so certain Lily should receive ice power," Bianca said.

"Didn't I say it earlier? She's disgracing her heritage by choosing the opposite element!" Iris said.

"Well, that's not her fault, her mother engineered her to have fire as her main element," Melanie pointed out.

"Which is something that could be fixed now! Instead, she's going to turn her back on almost nine hundred years of Yukihimi tradition, and desecrate her family's heirloom while she's at it!" Iris said.

"Well, I think 'desecrate' is a bit of a strong word," Jujimaru said.

"Didn't you use your family's 'eirloom to pick your teez?" Mirami asked.

The Oshawott's eyes darted back and forth. "…That was never proven."

"As I said before, I'm not entirely happy with what Lily intends to do with that wand…" Boa admitted. "But as the Yukihimi heir, it's her prerogative to do whatever she wishes with it. And it's not like the wand will cease to exist, it'll just be a little…different, is all. And she'll still wield the power over ice being the Yukihimi heir grants her, it'll just be…secondary for her, I suppose."

"It still doesn't seem right," Iris grumbled. "It flies right in the face of some of Fichina's oldest customs!"

"And why should that matter so much to you? Your father is the first of your family to establish himself here, isn't he? Those customs don't affect you," Bianca said.

"I'm marrying into a founding family, so I'd say it _will_ affect me eventually," Iris said.

"What?! I thought you were marrying me!" Jujimaru cried in horror.

Iris gave him a confused look. "…I am."

"But you said you were marrying into a founding family," said the puzzled Oshawott.

"…I am! _Your_ family is descended from the founders!" Iris yelled angrily.

Jujimaru's eyes widened. "Ohhhh yeah…I forgot." Everyone facefaulted.

Meanwhile, Pikachu had gotten tired of chasing Leo around (When had the Squirtle learned how to run so fast?) so decided to leave the questions about the documentary for later and prepare himself to receive the blessings of the gods. "Before me I see three heroes," Reshiram said calmly as she regarded the members of Team Aurabolt. "One who is striving to remain true to herself." Lily blushed.

"One who is strong in his convictions and ideals," Zekrom rumbled. Pikachu bowed.

"And one who has established strong boundaries within herself, to govern her actions and guide her path in life," Kyurem rasped. Dawn nodded at the ice dragon.

"Uh, what about me? I'm a hero too," Leo said.

"Yes, but you're not receiving a blessing," Lugia said.

"Awww, c'mon! I've earned some divine mojo too after all the stuff I've done, haven't I?" Leo begged.

"You might have," Lugia admitted. "But if so, it is not our place to grant them to you."

"Why not? You're a sea god, and I'm a Water-type! That's gotta count for something!" Leo protested.

"Aren't you a Shayminite nun?" Pikachu asked.

Leo sweatdropped. "I…well…oh, fine, go ahead and get your stupidly awesome magical power-ups, I'll satisfy myself by building a giant robot battlesuit or something."

"You do that," Pikachu said dryly.

"Sorry, Leo," Lily said apologetically. "I'm sure you'll get a blessing the next time!"

_Assuming there is a next time,_ Dawn clicked.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Leo grumbled. "I'll just stand out of the way so you don't get your divine awesomeness which I'm totally not jealous of on me. Since I don't need it. Because I'm awesome already. And will edit my documentary like crazy to make it look like I'm the main character and all the girls are madly in love with me and you're insane."

Pikachu blinked. "Wait, what was that last part?"

"OKAY, TAKE IT AWAY, BOYS!" Leo shouted. "AND GIRL! AND GENDER-NEUTRAL ENTITY! Hey, Kyurem, are you actually genderless, or can you switch whenever you feel like it?" he asked Kyurem. The ice dragon snarled, its breath causing frost to form on the tiles under it. "Right. Don't wanna talk about it. I can respect that. Shutting up now."

"Somehow, I doubt that'll last for long," Pikachu muttered.

"Yeah, it probably won't," Leo admitted. Pikachu sweatdropped.

"Are the three of you prepared to receive our blessings?" Lugia asked. "They come with great power, but with it grave responsibility. You must use these powers only to fight the evil which threatens our world, and not abuse it for your own purposes. This power is a gift, and like all gifts, it can be taken back if you prove yourselves unworthy of it."

"I solemnly swear on my father's sword and my family's honor to only use this power to smite the wicked and save the righteous," Pikachu vowed. "That is the way of the samurai, and the code by which I live and die."

"You should probably be taking notes on that," Bianca commented to Jujimaru.

"Shut up! I know what being a samurai's all about!" the Oshawott said indignantly, which was so blatantly false it was all everyone else could do to keep from bursting into laughter.

Lily swallowed. "Um…I-I'm still new to being good, but I also promise I won't misuse these powers. I don't want to be anything like my mother, and while I don't really care about restoring honor to my family's name…I've read up on what some of my ancestors were like, and will do my best to emulate them, so as to become a better person than my mother ever was."

"You tell 'em, Lily!" Leo shouted encouragingly.

_I will do what I have always done: my duty. If my Master gives me an order, I shall obey it with all the power at my disposal,_ Dawn said. _He is the only authority I answer to. _Well, aside from Nuken, and Palmer, and probably Rayquaza, but she wasn't going to say that out loud.

Lugia frowned. "That's…not the answer I was looking for."

"She'll only use this new power if I tell her to, and if _I'm_ using it responsibly, then it's a sure bet that she will too," Pikachu said. "Because I'll tell her to."

Lugia exchanged glances with Kyurem, who shrugged indifferently. "Well, I suppose that's good enough for us."

"Wow, you guys sure are relaxing your standards," Leo joked. The dragon gods glared at him. "Right. Shutting up again."

"But not for long," Pikachu grumbled.

"Nope! Oh, hey, that wasn't very long at all, was it? Oops," Leo said in amusement. Pikachu sighed.

"Very well," Lugia said, drawing everyone's attention back to him. "The three of you have been deemed worthy of receiving this power. Do not make us regret giving it to you."

"We won't," Pikachu promised. "I swear."

"Yeah, you know, now that I think about it, it's probably for the best that you guys aren't giving me anything, I'd probably make you regret it in no time," Leo commented. The others nodded in agreement. Leo frowned. "You could at least _pretend_ that I'm being too hard on myself…"

"Why?" Lily asked in confusion. "What you said was true, wasn't it?"

Leo facepalmed. "Part of being my fiancé means you're supposed to support me, Lily."

"Oh. Sorry," she said apologetically.

Abruptly, Lugia threw back his head and roared, eyes glowing white. The three dragons reared back and bellowed as well, their sonorous cries ringing throughout the skies of New Avalon and sending shivers down the spines of numerous Pokémon. As if responding to their howls, the holy flame erupted, surging into the air in a seething tower of white fire, causing all gathered in the plaza to flinch and take a few steps back, startled by the intensity of the light being emitted by the sacred beacon. Oddly, it didn't feel that hot…or at least, not the kind of heat that most flames emitted, but something else, something more…spiritual, somehow.

As the flame subsided, the four deities spread their wings and took to the air, the three dragons flying in a circle around the statue island while Lugia hovered just beneath the face of Arceus. All their eyes were glowing, and energy from their respective elements was crackling around them. With a rumble, dark clouds formed in the sky above the floating island, swirling ominously over the plaza as bolts of lightning, snowflakes and hailstones, and embers danced across its surface. "Am I the only one here who's getting a serious case of déjà vu?" Leo asked in alarm as he looked up at the gathering storm.

"No…it's like the storm that formed when we fought the elemental birds…" Pikachu said in concern.

"No, it's not," Lily said suddenly, much to their surprise. "That storm was volatile…hostile…filled with evil intent. This one is…different, somehow. I can't quite explain how, but it feels more…benign, or at the very least neutral towards us."

…_She's right. I can feel it too,_ Dawn agreed.

"Hmm…well, considering the energy readings I'm getting…yeah, it only looks like the last storm in appearance only," Leo commented as he scanned the climactic disturbance with his sunglasses. "Whereas that one was all evil and stuff and charged with Shadow, this one's giving off waves of untainted divine power, which I'm guessing is a good thing."

"In this case? Yeah, a _very_ good thing," Pikachu agreed, a smile coming to his face.

Iris was underwhelmed. "So they're making a big storm? Big deal, any meteomancer can do that."

"Huh? What are you talking about? I don't see any meteors," Jujimaru said, looking at the skies in alarm. "Is something going to fall on us?!"

Iris blinked. "Huh? What do you-" she facepalmed. "No, you idiot! Meteomancy is weather magic!"

"Oh. I knew that," Jujimaru lied.

"Ugh, you are such a kid!" Iris whined.

"It's not _just_ a storm," Mirami said. "It's a manifestation of elemental power, tempered and shaped by divine will. Truly a force of incredible might…"

"If they wanted to, they could make a much bigger storm…" Boa murmured. "One powerful enough to overwhelm even our best defense wards, and damage a significant portion of the city. Instead, they're channeling all this power just to strengthen some weapons…the gods are mighty indeed. I shudder to think what they'd be capable of using their full might…and they may very well be doing just that soon enough…"

Iris rolled her eyes. "Now you're just being melodramatic."

"No, I'm pretty sure that's the guys up there," Bianca commented. "Gods always like putting on a good show, don't they?"

Mirami nodded in agreement. "Yes, so let's enjoy zis one while it lasts."

"Chosen heroes!" Lugia shouted over the storm. "Raise your weapons, and prepare yourselves!"

"All right. Everyone, get ready!" Pikachu said, drawing Thunder Fang and raising it into the air.

"Right!" Lily said, holding up her wand.

_I am ready,_ Dawn clicked, raising her metal claws into the air.

"I thought you were just supposed to draw that during battle!" Leo yelled at Pikachu.

"Shut up, Leo!" Pikachu shouted back.

The storm cloud churned above them and spat three bursts of power from its depths. A fire stream lanced through the air and was caught in Reshiram's claws, swirling and coalescing into a crystalline crimson sphere. A lightning bolt split the skies and was caught in Zekrom's claws, swirling and coalescing into a crystalline yellow sphere. A gust of wind laden with snowflakes blew through the air and was caught in Kyruem's claws, swirling and coalescing into a crystalline blue sphere. The three dragon gods stopped in their orbiting of the island, raised the familiar-looking orbs of condensed elemental power above their heads, and with a mighty roar simultaneously threw them into the sacred flame.

Again, the flame erupted skywards, but this time it was swirling with red, blue, and yellow, rather than the uniform white from before. "Brace yourselves! It's coming!" Pikachu cried, although what, precisely, it was that was coming he wasn't quite sure of just yet.

"Sooooo cool! I don't think I'm even gonna need to edit this part!" Leo shouted as he eagerly caught everything on his camera. "Much!"

"Okay, _this_ is pretty impressive!" Iris admitted in a panic.

"Waaaaahhhh! Make it stop! Make it stop!" Jujimaru squealed as he hid behind his betrothed.

"Wooooww…look at the colors…" said the awestruck Bianca.

Mirami nodded in wonder. "As my mozzer would say, _tres magnifique_!"

"Warriors!" Lugia bellowed as the three dragons flew down to join him before the Arceus statue. "Receive the power we have bestowed upon you! And rejoice, for you have _earned_ it!" Again, the deities roared to the heavens.

The swirling pillar of multicolored flame roiled, and suddenly three flaming balls of energy shot out from its sides; one blue, one red, and one yellow. The balls rocketed away from the flame and zigzagged wildly around the holy island, driving everyone dizzy as they kept turning and turning to try and keep track of their motions. Without warning, they stopped their erratic motions and shot back towards the plaza, converging on the center and smashing into the ground just behind Pikachu, Lily, and Dawn.

"Aha! There really _are_ meteors after all!" Jujimaru declared triumphantly. "And you said there wouldn't be any!"

"What? What are you…ugh. Never mind," Iris groaned in exasperation.

Before they could do more than stare at the energy spheres in alarm, the orbs pulsed and fired bolts of their respective elements at the three heroes. Instinctively, they raised their weapons to defend themselves. The bolts struck the sword, wand, and claws, the force of the impact pushing the heroes a few feet back and nearly slamming them into the side of the brazier containing the sacred flame. They ground their teeth, muscles tensing as they struggled to hold their ground against the raw elemental power pushing against them, sweat running down their faces as they tried their hardest to keep from being overwhelmed. As lightning, fire, and ice continued throwing itself at them, the three weapons started glowing, seeming to somehow be _absorbing_ the elemental energy from the spheres, their radiance intensifying as the spheres began to shrink, pouring more and more of their mass into the attack until finally, there was nothing left of them.

The weapons continued to glow, however, and the heroes looked at their instruments in alarm, sensing this wasn't over just yet. Yellow electricity blasted to life around Thunder Fang and engulfed both the sword and Pikachu, the samurai disappearing in the electrical storm. Crimson flames ignited around the Yukihimi wand and consumed Lily, who cried out as she vanished in the blaze. Ice formed on Dawn's claws and started spreading up her arms, her eyes widening in horror as she swiftly found herself encased in an icy prison.

Leo gasped, the camera slipping from his hands and falling to the ground, where it fortunately failed to break because he'd reinforced its casing long ago to make sure it wouldn't break easily. "LILY! AND EVERYONE ELSE!"

"Um…is that supposed to happen?!" Bianca said incredulously.

"Ohnoohnoohnoohnoohno!" Melanie whimpered.

"PIKACHU-SAMA-SENSEI-SENPAI-SAN-SAMA!" Jujimaru screamed.

"…Seriously, what is _wrong_ with you?!" Boa demanded.

"Waaaahhh! This is why I don't like ice!" Iris whined, cowering behind her fiancé.

"Do not fear!" Lugia called to the mortals below. "This is how it is meant to happen!" He paused, and then glanced at his colleagues. "Er, this _is_ how it's supposed to happen, right?" The dragons glanced at each other and shrugged. Lugia facewinged.

Gradually, the elemental nimbuses around the three heroes died down—or in Dawn's case, shattered-revealing that the weapons had transformed as promised…and they weren't the only ones.

Pikachu was now clad in samurai armor that looked as if it were made from lightning made solid, arcs and spikes of electricity crackling across its otherwise solid form. A dou with the images of Raikou and Zekrom engraved into it dancing around lightning bolts covered his front. Jagged-edged kusazuri with lightning bolts engraved into each plate hung from the front and back to protect his upper legs. Haidate made of cloth that looked to be electricity turned into woven thread covered his thighs, small metal lightning bolt-shaped plates connected by chain lightning sewn into it. Suneate made of splints of metal crackling with electricity linked by chain lightning wrapped around his calves and shins, right above kogake covering his hindpaws. Sode resembling his kusazuris with large glowing spikes resembling lightning bolts growing from the tops covered his shoulders. Han kote made of lightning cloth covered in plates of solidified electricity linked by chain lightning covered his forearms. A helmet with the Thunderblade family crest on the forehead, lightning bolt horns, and a faceplate resembling a snarling Raikou covered his head, his now-yellow eyes visible through eyeholes. His tail was unarmored, but looked like it had turned into an actual lightning bolt, rather than just being shaped like one. Similarly, Thunder Fang too looked as if it were now made of pure electrical energy, crackling yellow and white rather than blue, with several glowing black runes written somehow into its side. It was also a couple of inches longer. The sword's scabbard, slung on Pikachu's back, had changed as well, lengthening to accommodate the sword's growth and turned black with gold leaf lightning bolts looking like they were actual lightning bolts rather than just designs.

Pikachu blinked and looked down at his armored form in amazement. "Huh. Well, guess I have one less thing to envy Sparky for now."

"Eeeeee!" Jujimaru squealed as he spontaneously developed a nosebleed, much to Iris's displeasure. "Pikachu-sempai-dono-chan-hime-san-sama is s-s-s-so COOL!"

"Cooler than you," Bianca commented.

"Yeah, totally!" Jujimaru said without skipping a beat, causing Iris to facepalm.

"That's…an impressive suit of armor," Boa commented, impressed. "Not that there's anything wrong with mine, of course…" She frowned and self-consciously gripped the hilt of her blade. "That sword, on the other hand…"

Lily's bluish-green skin had turned red and yellow, her long hair waving wildly behind her and looking very much like flames, though it was hard to tell if it was actual fire or just colored to look that way. Her engagement ring, which she had taken to wearing around one of her locks of hair since she didn't exactly have a finger to put it on, had somehow stayed unchanged and was still wrapped around that fiery lock, a strange glow surrounding it that seemed like a different kind of fire from the ones her body was generating. The chain-shaped scars crisscrossing her face were glowing and writhing with a fiery light. Her lower body had grown longer, taking on some of the cloak-like properties of her evolved form, with dancing flames flickering at the 'hems.' The pearls on her necklace had transformed into flaming balls of molten rock, with burning sigils carved into their surfaces. Her hat, amazingly, wasn't on fire, but had turned orange with a yellow tip, had a circlet that looked as if it were made of crystallized fire with glittering rubies set into its frozen surface ringing the central part, and was embroidered with actually burning flames and images of Reshiram. Her pupils had vanished, leaving her with yellow eyes and creepy large red irises. Her wand had changed radically as well, becoming red with gold filigree resembling Reshiram, white runes etched into its side, and a glowing crystal shaped like a five-pointed tongue of flame at the top, embers swirling around it. Similarly, embers and a few balls of fire were orbiting her body now.

"O-oh my…" she whispered in astonishment and a little fear. "What…what has happened to me?!"

"Soooo…HOT!" Leo gasped, jaw dropping. "And I mean that in both the figurative and literal sense, since she's gorgeous, and because her body temperature is now over three hundred degrees Fahrenheit. Which, unfortunately, means we can't make out while she's like this. Unless I'm wearing a heat-protective hood. But then she couldn't exactly kiss my face, which would sort of defeat the purpose, though we could still hug and cuddle and stuff. Hmm, unless…"

"Phew! Nice heat she's putting off there!" Bianca said, impressed.

"Maybe a little too hot," Melanie panted. "Am I wilting? Is the bulb on my back drying out?"

"No, it's fine," Boa said.

"'eh. Leo is one lucky mon," Mirami said appraisingly.

"Wow! She's too hot for me to handle!" Jujimaru said.

"Hey!" Iris shouted angrily.

"What? I think she's too hot for my Water attacks to cool off," the Oshawott said in confusion.

"…Oh. I, uh, thought you meant you thought she was attractive," Iris said.

"Oh. Well, she _is _smoking…" Jujimaru observed.

"HEY!" Iris shouted.

"What? She is! There's smoke coming off of her, see?" Jujimaru said, pointing to the plumes of smoke rising off of the distressed Lily's fiery form.

"Oh. Never mind…" Iris said.

Finally, Dawn was wearing armor made of ice similar to the Slicer armor she'd worn when she'd been forcibly transformed into a Shadow Pokémon. However, the ice used to make this armor was blue-white, rather than black. A pair of plaques with curved blades resembling some of Kyurem's icy protrusions formed on her shoulders. Gauntlets with three curved blades each formed around her wrists. A pair of large blue-white three-clawed talons formed over each of her paws that looked like they were made of a mixture of metal and ice, with gray runes and engravings of Kyurem spiraling up the sides. Ice plates covered the fleece on the lower half of her body and ice boots with three curved blades each on the greaves formed on her feet. An ice helmet formed of layered plates with a trident-shaped ornament on the forehead and curved icy horn-like 'sheaths' for her ears formed over her head, a pair of ice plates snapping into place over her face and hiding all of it except for her glowing white eyes. Similar engravings as the ones on her talons covered most of her blades and the plates making up her armor, giving her suit a rather ornate and beautiful appearance, without letting one forget that every inch of it could probably be used to kill something.

She looked at her armor admiringly and clicked, _This will suffice._

"AAAAHHH! THE SLICER!" Jujimaru screamed, hiding behind Iris.

"AAAAHHH! ICE MONSTER, WHO ALSO HAPPENS TO BE THE SLICER!" Iris screamed, hiding behind Jujimaru. The Oshawott blinked, realized he was exposed, panicked, and hid behind Iris, who blanched and ran behind Jujimaru, who ran behind her, and so on in a comedic dance of cowardice.

"That's some pretty nice armor!" Bianca said. "…But why does she look like a comic book villain?"

"Comic book? The Slicer is a real historical figure, the leader of the Toe clan of ninjas," Boa said.

"…Wait, the Slicer was _real?!_ And so were the Toe?!" Bianca asked incredulously. "I thought that was just something made up for Teenage Mutant Ninja Squirtles!"

"Mutant what now?" asked the confused Boa.

"Mon, I wish I were a Teenage Mutant Ninja Squirtle…" Leo said longingly.

"Well, you're a teenager, and you're a Squirtle, so you're halfway there already," Melanie pointed out.

Leo perked up at this. "Hey, yeah, that's right! Not to mention that once I become immortal, I'll probably qualify for the 'mutant' angle…and since I'll be immortal, I'll have all the time in the world to train to be a ninja! Ha, maybe one of my childhood dreams _won't_ turn out to be a longshot after all!"

…_I shudder at the thought of you as an immortal ninja,_ Dawn said in disgust. _Not to mention being immortal is contrary to what ninjas represent. Or have you forgotten what immortality did to Paul?_

"Yeah, but Paul was a jerk. There's no way that's happening to me!" Leo said confidently. Dawn sighed and shook her head in exasperation.

The sacred flame subsided, returning to its original color and size, as the four gods gracefully landed around it. "It is done. We have granted you our blessing," Lugia said.

"Well, more like _we_ granted them our blessing. You didn't actually do much," Zekrom pointed out. Lugia steadfastly ignored him.

"What do you think?" Reshiram asked with a wry grin.

"This power…it…it's incredible!" said an astonished Lily. "I feel as if I could take on my mother again…and defeat her on my own!"

"Not to mention you look pretty damn sexy, too," Leo leered. Lily flushed and laughed nervously at this.

"My sword has certainly undergone quite the transformation…as have I," Pikachu noted as he ran his eyes over Thunder Fang. "Hmm, guess this makes the armor I picked up on Zero Isle useless, now…well, I'll give it to Pichu, I'm sure he'll find some use for it when he's older."

_I thank you for your gracious gift. With this new strength, we will be able to defeat our enemies with greater ease,_ Dawn said, already thinking of how it would feel to rip Paul's throat out with her new and improved blades.

"You are most welcome," Kyurem hissed.

"Not to complain, but why did you give us this armor? I thought you were just improving our weapons, not giving us new clothing," Pikachu said.

"We were," Zekrom said.

"The power we gave you was too much to be contained solely within your weapons," Reshiram explained. "The excess elemental energies they absorbed manifested in the garments you wear. On their own, your new weapons are formidable…but in conjunction with your new Forms, you will be almost _unstoppable._"

"Oh," Lily said nervously. "Um…good?"

_I'm certainly not complaining,_ Dawn said.

"Neither am I!" said Leo. "Well, no, that's not entirely true, I'm kind of wondering why the heck you guys not only got rad new and improved weapons but sweet suits of armor like Team Getem gets, but I didn't get anything?! I mean, seriously, what the heck?! Since we got to Fichina, everyone's been taking levels in badass but me! Ash and Tiny have been getting proper Aura training from a real Master, Sasha's been spending all her time at Darkrai's temple, Pikachu's been training with Leeku, Lily with Fantina and her daughters, Dawn with Kairyu for some reason, and now you three get a Super Mode but I don't! Not that I'm not happy for you guys and everything, but seriously, what gives?"

"You forgot Briney," Pikachu said.

"No I didn't, he's Briney. How's he supposed to get _more_ badass, short of evolving?" Leo asked. Pikachu reluctantly admitted he had a point.

_Leo, haven't you managed to acquire several new gadgets as well as upgrade most of your existing gear using magitechnology with help from Professor Fennel, along with unlocking a few new abilities for your sunglasses?_ Dawn asked.

"Well, yeah," Leo admitted. "And that's cool and all…but it's no magic suit of armor. I don't think I'm any stronger really than I was when we first got here. How'm I supposed to keep up with you guys now that you've all gotten such sweet new stuff?"

"You've kept up before," Pikachu pointed out.

"Yes, but it's gonna be even harder now!" Leo said. "Especially since I haven't figured out how to be immortal yet!"

_I thought Darkrai gave you some advice on that,_ Dawn said.

"He did. I'm working on it," Leo said. "But I'm exploring other options in the meantime."

Lily floated closer to the Squirtle. He tried not to flinch back from the incredible heat washing off of her, causing him to sweat and begin to develop a slight tan. "Leo," she said, regarding her betrothed with as much love and affection as she could convey in her (literally) smoldering gaze. "Tomorrow, we're getting married, which is something that would never have happened if it weren't for you. If anything, _you're_ the one I feel like I constantly have to keep up with, because even if I am stronger, wealthier, and more magical than you…I'm not even half as smart as you are, or anywhere near as good at understanding myself or the world around me."

Leo's eyes widened in surprise. "Lily…"

"Where the rest of us already had powers that made us special, for the most part you've always been able to get by on your ingenuity and by utilizing whatever you can get your hands on," Lily continued. "Which in many ways makes you a cleverer, and maybe even more _dangerous_, Pokémon than any of us. You don't know how honored I am to have you as a friend…and more."

"And how relieved we are that you're on our side," Pikachu muttered under his breath.

"I promise you, we will _never_ leave you behind, no matter how strong we get," Lily assured the Squirtle. "And we'll find a way for you to reach our level…assuming you don't find your own way there first, or _surpass_ us, which I know you are more than capable of doing, if you really set your mind to it."

Slowly, a smile formed on Leo's face. "Babe, if you weren't so hot I'd literally burn myself, I'd be kissing the hell out of you right about now." Lily flushed, somehow turning redder than she already was.

"Awwww," Bianca and Melanie cooed, eyes sparkling.

"Why don't you ever talk to me like that?" Jujimaru complained to Iris.

"Because I don't like you," she replied flatly.

"Oh," the Oshawott said. "Yeah, that would explain it."

"Actually, that brings up a good point," Pikachu said, glancing down at his armor. "How do we get this stuff off? I mean, it's not permanent, is it?"

"I certainly hope not," Lily said in alarm. "I can't possibly enter my new house like this, let alone get married tomorrow!"

"Yeah, how exactly are we supposed to, you know, consummate our union if I can't touch her without possibly bursting into flames?" Leo asked. Lily's face turned even redder at that comment. Somehow.

_I suppose it would be inconvenient to wear this all the time… _Dawn admitted reluctantly.

"Especially in bed! Ba-dum-ching!" Leo cried. Nobody laughed. Pikachu and Dawn glared at him. He laughed nervously. "Yeah, that was terrible…never mind."

"You need not worry, the elemental armor can be removed with but a thought," Lugia assured them. "It would be impractical for you to have wear it twenty-four seven, after all."

"With a thought? You mean…like…" Lily screwed up her face in concentration. A conflagration erupted around her, and when the fire died down, she was back to normal. Her wand still retained its new shape, though. "Oh! It worked!" she said in delight.

"Yes, and the temperature's dropped…which I am very thankful for," Melanie said in relief.

"Actually, I was getting kind of used to it, now I'm feeling a little chilly," Bianca said, hugging herself.

"Well, I think she's still plenty hot, no matter what form she's in!" Leo said as he hugged Lily, relieved that he could actually touch her again. She was pleasantly warm now from the lingering heat, and it felt good to hold her. He reveled in the sensation, as he always did whenever he touched her.

She blushed. "Oh, Leo…you always say the sweetest things!"

"Why don't you ever say things like that to me?" Iris complained to Jujimaru.

"Oh. Uh…I dunno," the Oshawott said.

"Ugh! You're such a kid," she whined.

"Why would you want him to say stuff like that to you? I thought you didn't like him," Boa said.

"I don't! But maybe if he _did,_ I'd like him more," the Axew said.

"Really?" Jujimaru asked in surprise.

"Well, probably not," Iris admitted. The Oshawott facefaulted.

Seeing Lily's success, Pikachu and Dawn followed the Misdreavus's example, concentrating and causing their armor to dissipate in a flash of lightning and shattering ice, returning them to their original forms. Dawn's claws kept their new and improved looks, while Thunder Fang had become solid again, the blade now made of some strange metal as black as Zekrom, the markings on its side now yellow rather than black. Pikachu examined the sword for a moment, intrigued by its new appearance. "Well, I can't say for sure how my Dad will react to this. He'll either say its sacrilege and desecration of our most sacred family heirloom, or he'll think it's the coolest thing ever."

"I certainly know which way I lean!" Leo said, admiring the sword.

"It is a weapon of great power, with an equally great history," Boa said. "I wouldn't mind getting a chance to test my own blade against it some time, and see how much this new power has enhanced it."

"I would be happy to spar with you again, Your Majesty," Pikachu said respectfully.

"You know, some could call what's happened to that wand sacrilege and a desecration of one of our most sacred heirlooms," Iris said darkly to Lily, who flinched.

"And others might say it's the coolest thing ever!" Leo argued. "And again, I know which way I lean!"

"I zink it looks razzer nice as well," Mirami said, floating over to examine the transformed wand. "It suits 'er better."

"Th-thank you," Lily said with a nervous blush. Iris grunted in annoyance.

_While it's nice to be back to normal, how do we regain that powered-up state?_ Dawn inquired.

"The same way you shed yourself of it: focus on your weapon and will your armor into being," Lugia said.

_Ah. So…like…this?_ Dawn closed her eyes and concentrated. Her claws glowed blue, and once again ice formed over her body, shattering to reveal her Slicer armor. _Perfect,_ she said, admiring herself.

"And relatively quick, too, which is always a good thing for a transformation sequence," Leo commented. "If it takes too long, there's a chance the bad guy can attack you while you're changing. Funny, they almost never seem to do that for some reason…"

_This new power will come in very handy in the trials to come. Thank you for your generous gift,_ Dawn said, reverting to normal again.

"You are most welcome," Kyurem hissed.

"Is there anything we can do for you in return?" Pikachu asked.

"Yes," Zekrom said. "Destroy the Nihilators. All of them."

Reshiram nodded. "Ride their evil from the world."

"And bring justice to all their victims…including my wife and son," Lugia said.

Leo blinked. "Oh yeah, they've got your family, don't they? Kinda forgot about that…"

"We may have to fight against your wife, considering they've made a Shadow out of her too," Pikachu said. "Will you be okay fighting her?"

"…I wish I did not have to," Lugia admitted sadly, closing his eyes for a moment. "But I know that I must. When you ride out to fight the Nihilators, I shall be there to help you against all of them…and against her."

"Um…speaking of which, do we know how we're getting there yet?" Lily asked. "I mean…Mars is a very, _very_ long way away from here."

"Well, didn't your mother go there regularly to meet with Oblivion's Shadow?" Boa asked. "How did she get there and back?"

"I'm not really sure," Lily admitted. "Mother's private quarters were always sealed off to Marianne and I, and she wouldn't always tell us when she was going off to the Nihilator base. She might have had a portal or some kind of teleporter that transported her to and from Mars."

"I guess we'll have to wait for the teams that were sent out to try and locate her hideout to find that out…" Pikachu said. "Speaking of which, I don't suppose there's been any luck on that front?"

Boa shook her head apologetically. "Not that I've heard, no."

Lily sighed. "Well, it is a mobile iceberg…Mother might have moved it away from the investigators, or even submerged it. It will be very difficult for them to locate…"

"You _lived_ there. You really mean you can't tell us how to find it?" Iris complained.

Lily shook her head. "Only Mother was able to control it or tell where it might appear. Marianne and I always had to be either with her when we were coming or going, or make sure to show up at a predetermined rendezvous point or we'd be left to fend for ourselves until she got bored of watching us struggle on our own and came to get us."

"Wow. Your mom's really not very nice," Jujimaru said.

Everyone stared at him like he was an idiot, which he was. "That's an understatement," Leo said dryly.

"Okay, well, what about the Nihilators? How exactly have _they_ been getting from Mars to Earth and back?" Bianca asked.

"Well, according to Dean and Bob's intel and examinations of the ships we captured, their vessels aren't equipped with FTL drives-" Leo started

"What drives?" Melanie interrupted.

"Faster than light," Lily clarified. Leo grinned, glad to see she'd been paying attention.

"Oh," Melanie said.

"Anyway," Leo started again. "Their ships don't have FTL drives. Don't know why. Maybe since their ships are based at least partly off of Martian tech, and so far there's no sign those guys ever had FTL either, did they? But I'm pretty sure Clefairies do…eh, anyway, their ships lack FTL, which means they can't just zip from one end of the solar system to the other lickety-split. Instead, they have to use these orbital contraptions called 'jump gates' which, when turned on, basically creates a super-accelerated gravity field that acts as a slingshot flinging anything that flies through it at whatever it's pointed at at velocities faster than the speed of light and you have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?"

"No," nearly everyone (including, embarrassingly enough, the deities) said. Leo facepalmed.

"It's a big ring floating in space a ship can fly into that flings it across the solar system faster than it could fly under its own power," Lily translated. "And the ships are equipped with some sort of super-strong braking system-"

"Retrorockets," Leo said.

"Yes, those, that slows it down as it reaches its target so it doesn't crash into it and destroy itself," Lily explained.

"Ohhhh," everyone said, finally understanding.

"You've been spending a little too much time with Leo if you can actually understand what he's saying," Pikachu joked.

Lily gave him a puzzled look. "Well of course I am, I'm marrying him, aren't I?"

"…Ah. Yes. That," Pikachu admitted.

"So they're getting to Mars and back using these 'jump gates?' Why don't we just use the one they have here?" Melanie asked. "Er, they _do_ have one here, don't they?"

"They do, but they moved it very far out of Earth's orbit once its location was revealed by Dean and Bob," Leo explained. "And since we don't exactly have particularly good ships ourselves, we can't really fly out there until we finish retrofitting our pre-existing battleships with the Nihilator tech we've managed to salvage from the wreckage outside Fichina's borders and the bases we've managed to raid. And even then, they've probably got the thing rigged to blow up if we try to take it for ourselves."

"Won't that make it impossible for them to get here, though?" asked the confused Jujimaru.

"No, they still have _their_ jump gate, which means they can still throw stuff and ships at us, but those things have no way of getting back," Leo said.

"But considering the suicidal tendencies of most Nihilators, that's probably not that big a deal for them," Pikachu pointed out.

"So they can launch stuff at us but we can't hit them back? How are we supposed to attack them, then?" asked the puzzled Bianca.

Dawn shrugged. _We're still working on that._

"Mozzer 'as been deliberating wiz several ozzer experts from all over Fichina and around ze world ever since ze dilemma became clear to us," Mirami reported. "She says zey are on ze verge of a breakzrough zat may solve all our problems. It should only be a matter of days until zey are ready to announce it to ze public and begin ze invasion of Mars."

"Sweet!" Leo said.

"Not sweet," Lily said in alarm. "That means we won't have much time for a honeymoon, or to…how did you put it earlier…'bask in our newly wedded bliss?'"

"All honeymoons have to end sooner or later, Lily," Leo said sadly. "Vacations, too. And while this break from all the action has been nice and relaxing…we both knew sooner or later we were going to have to go back to work saving the world."

Lugia nodded solemnly. "It is your destiny, and destiny cannot be delayed for long."

"I thought it was Ash's destiny to fight the Nihilators," Iris said.

"It is. But you don't think his friends would let him go off and fight them on his own, do you?" Lugia pointed out.

"Oh," the Axew said, seeing his point.

Lily sighed unhappily. "I know, you're right. It's just…the past week here in Fichina has been possibly the happiest of my life. I didn't have to worry about fighting or my Mother or anything else; I just got to hang out with my friends and with Fantina and learn more about magic and my heritage and this wonderful land I wish I could have been born in rather than growing up with Mother. Is it wrong that a part of me hoped that someone else would take care of the Nihilators now that we've made the rest of the world aware of them, so that I could focus on my estate and on Leo and on being able to simply enjoy life, without having to constantly worry about the fate of the world?"

Leo shook his head. "Nah, it's perfectly understandable, Lily. I can't blame you for feeling that way…heck, I bet Ash wishes _he_ didn't have to deal with all this crap too, you know? But somebody's gotta do it, and like it or not, we're the best ones suited for the job."

"Which is why we must go," Lily said sadly. "And leave this happiness behind."

"Afraid so," Leo said quietly.

There was an uncomfortable silence as all gathered tried to think of something to say to lighten the mood. Finally, Boa cleared her throat and said, "Well…you may have to go, but…remember, until we actually find a way to get to Mars, there isn't really anything you can do about the Nihilators."

Mirami nodded in agreement. "So you might as well just relax and leave ze worrying until later. You still 'ave some time left before you will be called upon to fight once more, so until zen…"

"We might as well enjoy the time that is left to us," Lily finished, nodding in understanding. "I know. And I will try my best to do that…and to not let my worries of what lies ahead of us ruin what will happen tomorrow. If everything all my female friends have told me is correct, my wedding day should be among the happiest in my entire unlife…so I should not allow my fears of the future to mar it."

"Especially since it represents hope for a future after this conflict…a happier world where we need never fear your mother or the Nihilators or the Ruler of Evil ever again," Melanie said. "Where you and Leo and your friends and even the rest of us may settle down and live out the rest of our lives in peace, free of the shadows of evil."

"Or of our own demons…" Pikachu murmured, thinking of Ash.

"You've got demons?" Bianca asked in confusion. "Where?"

"I think he was referring to inner demons," Melanie said.

"How'd he get inner demons? Is he possessed or something?" Bianca asked cluelessly, causing everyone to facepalm.

"No way!" Jujimaru cried, further misunderstanding. "Pikachu-sama-domo-sempai-chan's willpower is _way_ too strong to get possessed! He probably means he's got tons of evil demons that he's locked up in a box somewhere. Ooh! Or maybe his sword feasts on the souls of its victims, so the spirit of every demon he's slain is in it!"

"…Um, actually-" Pikachu started, sweatdropping.

"Don't be ridiculous, it's a _holy_ sword, holy swords don't devour souls!" Iris argued, cutting Pikachu off.

"They don't devour _innocent_ souls, there's no reason it can't devour _evil_ souls!" Jujimaru said stubbornly.

"It doesn't work like that!" Pikachu yelled.

"Are you sure? I mean, your sword _is_ incapable of killing anything that's not evil…maybe it _does_ swallow their souls or something! Oh wow, that'd be so cool!" Leo said eagerly.

Pikachu facepawed. "Leo, my sword does not work that way! Dawn, back me up on this, will you?"

_Why are you asking me? It's not my sword. I don't know how it works,_ the Buneary said.

"What are you talking about? I must've explained it at least a dozen times!" Pikachu said.

_To be honest, I wasn't paying attention,_ Dawn said.

Pikachu's eye twitched. "You…you weren't…you weren't _paying attention?!_"

_No,_ Dawn said.

"That's not very nice," Lily said.

"Yeah, you're his vassal, aren't you supposed to listen faithfully to everything he says or something?" Leo asked.

_Not if I don't deem it pertinent. Which it wasn't in this case,_ Dawn said. Pikachu growled.

"Oh," Leo said. He frowned in concern, and then shot Lily a suspicious look. "Waaaaiiit a minute…then does that mean all the times I was telling you about stuff, you were actually zoning out on me?!"

"Wh-what? No, of course not!" Lily protested.

"Prove it!" Leo challenged.

"Gligarman and Taillow is considered by all true Gligarman fans to be the worst Gligarman film ever due to its rushed script and production, excessive toy-friendly promotional tie-ins, confusing plot, blatant fanservice, ridiculous costumes, and the infamous 'Gligar Credit Card' scene which drove Internet celebrity Nostalgia Critique into a frothing rage when he gave a review of the movie," Lily said.

"I love this womon," Leo said, hugging the Misdreavus.

"…Well, I guess _somebody_ had to actually pay attention to all the stuff that comes out of your mouth…" Pikachu said. He glared at Dawn. "If only all of us could have a partner so devoted."

_Master, I love swords as much as the next ninja, but hearing you talk about yours in such adoring tones that it makes me wonder if you might like it more than me gets rather tiresome,_ Dawn said flatly.

Pikachu scowled. "What happened to you hanging on every word I say and never talking back to me and being an eerily devoted servant?"

_Lily invited me to watch chick flicks with her and Leo and Sasha had a frank talk with me about how a mon and a womon should behave around one another,_ Dawn said.

"Did she now," Pikachu said flatly, understandably concerned given that Sasha's idea of courtship was to drag whatever male looked the most appealing back to her lair, mate with him, and not bother to learn much about him—even his name!—until afterwards. "I think I might need to have a talk with her."

Dawn nodded. _Yes, she said you'd say that._

Pikachu sighed. "Of course she did."

"…You watch chick flicks?" Boa asked Leo.

"Yeah, why?" Leo asked.

"There aren't many guys I know who'd admit to something like that so freely," the Servine said.

"I'm secure enough in my masculinity to not care very much about what people might think about the things I watch," Leo said.

"That's very brave of you," Melanie said, impressed.

"Yeah, if only more guys could be as courageous and open as you…" Iris said, glaring at Jujimaru.

"Yeah, if only," the Oshawott agreed obliviously. Iris rolled her eyes.

"…What does any of this have to do with demons again?" asked a very confused Melanie, wondering how they'd gotten so far off-topic.

"Nothing, we just went off on a tangent because…that's what we do," Leo said.

"Ah," Melanie said.

"So, wait, if your sword doesn't have demon souls in it, where do you keep your demons?" asked the confused Bianca.

"Mon, that's a good game," Leo commented.

"Huh?" said the confused Pikachu.

"Demon's Souls," Leo said. "As is its spiritual sequel, Dark Souls."

"I…whatever, I don't care," Pikachu said in exasperation. "I don't have any demons…that I know of. I was referring to Ash."

"Ash has a demon inside him?!" Bianca gasped in horror.

"Well, yeah, he's got that horrible Shadow Pokémon thing inside of him, doesn't he? And that hallucination of his zombie girlfriend?" Iris said.

"I thought she was a vampire, not a zombie," said the confused Jujimaru.

"Aren't vampires a kind of zombie?" Bianca asked.

"BLASPHEMY!" Leo bellowed, causing the Pignite to wince.

"Zey're bozh undead, zat's about it," Mirami said.

"Oh. Then why did Iris confuse a vampire with a zombie?" Jujimaru asked.

"I didn't! Misty's not a zombie or a vampire, she's a Vaporeon! It's that Gardevoir who's a vampire! And she and Ash aren't dating!" Iris said in exasperation.

"Although more than a few people back home did think they should get together," Pikachu commented.

"Never out loud, I take it?" Leo asked.

"Certainly not in earshot of Misty, anyway," Pikachu said.

"If Misty's not a vampire or a zombie, then how is Ash having hallucinations of a zombie girlfriend?" the ever-clueless Jujimaru asked. "Or…" He gasped. "Is he cheating on Misty with a zombie?!"

"Why would anyone want to date a zombie, anyway? Zombies are gross," Bianca said.

"I've dated zombies. Zey were some of ze sweetest gentlePokémon I've known," Mirami said coldly.

"Oh," Bianca said awkwardly. "Um…sorry."

"Wait, you dated zombies? But they're all…I mean…how did the two of you, um, you know…" Leo started, face scrunched up in a grimace.

"WE DON'T NEED TO KNOW THAT," Pikachu said loudly. "And Ash doesn't have a zombie girlfriend, he's having hallucinations of Misty _as_ a zombie. And when I was talking about demons, I was referring to metaphorical demons, though since those things you mentioned are actually manifestations of those metaphorical demons, I guess they count too."

"Ohhhhh," Jujimaru and Bianca said.

"Well why didn't you say so in the first place?" the Pignite complained. Pikachu facepawed.

"Oh! That reminds me…" Lily turned to the gods and respectfully bowed her head. "Um…if I might ask…have you made any progress on finding a way to cure Ash?"

There was a pause, one that was rather too lengthy for any of their liking. "Not…so much, no," Lugia admitted unhappily.

"We're working on it, though," Zekrom promised when everyone's faces fell.

"I don't have much hope, though. I mean, my Mirror of Truth shattered rather than give Ash a chance to heal himself! When something like that happens, you _know_ it's practically a lost cause…" Reshiram paused when she noticed her colleagues glaring at her and the mortals looking at her in horror. "What?"

"You didn't have to tell them that," Kyurem hissed.

"I'm a goddess of truth. I can't lie," Reshiram said bluntly.

"You don't have to lie, you could just, I don't know, not tell them that part?" Zekrom said wearily, a roll of his eyes indicating this was a conversation they'd had before many times in the past.

"A lie is a lie, even if only one of omission," Reshiram said stubbornly, refusing to yield.

"You know, there are at least half a dozen civilizations we've overseen that might not have fallen if you'd shown a little more tact," Zekrom said in exasperation.

"If a tiny truth is enough to destroy that civilization, then it was already nearing its end and probably didn't deserve to exist much longer in the first place," Reshiram said.

"Oh for the love of-" Zekrom started.

"Can we discuss this later? In private? Do they really need to hear this?" Lugia growled at the dragons, gesturing at the mortals with his head.

"No," Zekrom admitted, looking ashamed.

"I don't see why not," Reshiram said. Zekrom and Lugia facepalmed. Kyurem did nothing.

"Anyway," Lugia said. "I believe the matter of Ash can wait for another day. After all…tomorrow is Lily and Leo's wedding, and the focus of this occasion should be on them, not on Ash's lingering psychoses, should it not?"

"Oh yeah! That's what I'm talking about!" Leo whooped.

"W-well, we can keep focusing on Ash, if you want…" Lily said, flushing nervously.

"No, he's right, this is _your_ day. Well, tomorrow is, but now that we've finished up our business here, we can focus on preparing you and Leo for your big day," Pikachu said.

_And speaking of which…I do believe that now that we are finished here, we should head to the Draconian Embassy. Your father will be arriving shortly,_ Dawn said.

Lily's face creased in concern. "Oh, that's right. My father. We…haven't resolved what we're going to do about him, are we?"

"Be yourselves," Boa suggested. "That usually works."

"But who I am is terrified of him," Lily pointed out.

"With good reason," Jujimaru added helpfully. Everyone glared at him. "What?"

"As we 'ave said before, Lily…Nuken Shinobu is far from ze best of mons," Mirami reminded her friend. "But 'e is still capable of love, and 'e loves _you_, which already makes 'im a better mon zan Bellum ever was or will be. Always keep zat in mind."

"I'll…I'll try to," Lily said, still looking nervous.

"And keep in mind that we'll be right here, babe," Leo said, putting an arm over Lily's back. "You aren't facing him alone. Heck, if anything, _I'm_ the one who should be scared of the guy, seeing as how I'm marrying you, his only daughter!"

"Speaking of which, why _aren't_ you scared of him?" Melanie asked.

"Because I've seen worse things than him," Leo said. "Though not by much. Plus, if he decides he doesn't want me to marry Lily after all and _does_ try anything…well, let's just say I have a few surprises ready for him. "

"Why am I not surprised?" Pikachu asked in bemusement.

"So, how are we gonna get to the Embassy?" Bianca asked.

"We can either teleport or take a transport," Boa said.

"I don't mind taking the scenic route," Lily said. "I love being able to see more of this city…and besides, it'll give me more time to steel myself to deal with…him."

Leo kissed her on the cheek. "Relax, Lily, it'll be fine. And if he really starts creeping you out, picture him in a string bikini."

"…Why would I want to do that?" asked the confused Lily.

"Because it's frigging hilarious!" Leo said with a grin.

"…I don't get it," Lily said.

_Neither do I_, Dawn said.

"I think it's more weird than funny, myself," Pikachu said.

Leo's face fell. "My humor is wasted on you people."

"I thought it was funny!" Jujimaru said.

"You would," Iris grumbled.

"That's right, and I did!" Jujimaru said obliviously. Iris sighed in frustration.

"Will you be coming with us?" Pikachu asked the four gods.

Lugia glanced at the three dragons, which shook their heads. "Apparently not," the sea god said apologetically. "We have more business to attend to. I promise that we shall join you later, though."

"Are you coming to our rehearsal dinner?" Leo asked hopefully. "Because it's gonna be off the hook! I wanted a bachelor party, but the others shouted me down for some reason…"

"Gee, I wonder why," Pikachu said sardonically.

"Why do you keep saying that part about a hook?" asked the confused Lily.

"And why am I the only one concerned with keeping it from falling and breaking?!" Jujimaru cried. Everyone ignored him.

"I will see what I can do," Lugia said in amusement.

"I'm afraid I cannot attend," Reshiram said. "I'm still trying to repair that mirror Ash broke."

"It was an accident," Pikachu said.

"That doesn't stop my mirror from being broken," Reshiram said.

"I can't go either. I promised to help her," Zekrom said apologetically.

"I'll come," Kyurem said.

"Really? I was expecting you to say you had to stay with the other two to help them achieve 'balance' or something like that," Leo said. Kyurem grunted but did not reply.

"Leo, now is not the time to be antagonizing the giant ice dragon," Pikachu muttered to his teammate.

"What? It's not like Lily can't thaw me out or anything," Leo muttered back.

"I thought you of all people would know better than to tempt fate," Pikachu pointed out.

"…Eh, that's true," Leo admitted.

"Good luck with whatever it is you're doing," Lily said.

"And good luck meeting your violent and incredibly feared father," Reshiram said.

Lily gulped. The other gods glared at Reshiram. "Was that really necessary?" Lugia asked wearily.

"What? He's violent and incredibly feared. That's the truth, isn't it?" Reshiram asked. The others sighed in frustration.

"Right, uh, we'll just be going then. We'll see you later," Pikachu said, herding the others towards the stairs, sensing there was an argument of some sort brewing. "And once more, thank you for your gift."

"You are most welcome," Lugia commented without looking away from the unrepentant Reshiram.

"Okay, Reshiram," Zekrom's voice could be heard as the heroes started down the stairs towards the main part of the Holy Isle. "It's high time we taught you about a little something called 'restraint…'"

…

Meanwhile…

For generations, New Avalon's Temple of Darkrai was a poorly-frequented place of ill repute, located in an out-of-the-way part of the city far from the major veins of commerce and residency. It wasn't hidden or anything, and it's not like the city was ashamed of it—there was plenty of advertising for it in their tourism guides and brochures, and it could easily be found on a map—but few people went to it. This had nothing to do with fear of Darkrai's primary domain of death or nightmares, since those were all things easily conquered and manipulated by magic, to the point where few if any of Fichina's citizens were afraid of them to any great extent.

No, the reason few if any Pokémon visited Darkrai's temple was because of the rather…unorthodox behavior of its acolytes and what they'd done to its décor. The acolytes, after reading a few too many teen fantasy novels, had taken to growing out their hair and dying it black (and if they didn't have hair, making it grow through spells), wore black make-up, practiced self-mutilation, listened to horrible depressing music, performed blood sacrifices and wrote bad poetry while whining about darkness and pain and how their parents didn't understand them. As for the temple itself, they'd decided that to make it a true 'den of darkness' worthy of their Dark Master (caps intended), they intentionally let the place fall to shambles (and actually did a little creative demolition to make it look more ruined), let the banners fade so that Darkrai's holy symbols were no longer visible, the sacred lamps had been removed because the acolytes now regarded light as evil and antithetical to their master (plus, it hurt their eyes and gave them headaches after long nights of drinking and doing drugs to be 'edgy'), the wood was rotting, dust was everywhere, all the sacred wine had been drunken, the only bones were set up tastelessly, dried blood was everywhere, the few paintings they made were gory and vulgar, the altar to Cresselia had been defaced and was used to have sex on to 'initiate' new acolytes into the fold, the tapestry depicting Darkrai's rise to power had been used to create Fichina's largest joint, and the temple's resident spirits and spooks and dark fairies had resigned in disgust after being sent on one too many booze runs or summoned to perform 'acts of dark worship (i.e., sex)' even though that was more of a Mewrian thing. Darkrai had, quite understandably, been outraged by this blasphemy and sent horrific nightmares and monsters from the darkest corners of the night to punish them for defiling his temple and mangling their duties to him. Unfortunately, the clueless worshippers thought the nightmares were rewards for their loyal service, and the monsters were so weirded out by the wannabe Goths that they'd scurried back to the dark side of the Moon. This made Darkrai very cross.

Which was why, when Team Aurabolt arrived in New Avalon, he took great pleasure in sending Sasha to his temple to sort things out. The acolytes hadn't known what hit them.

She hadn't wanted to go to the temple, at first. "I don't see why it's necessary for me to make an appearance," she had grumbled as she self-consciously strode through the city streets towards the temple a few days ago, wishing all the people and things that didn't look like people but Darkrai insisted were would stop _staring_ at her. Whether it was because she was a celebrated hero responsible for helping save Fichina and perhaps the world or because she was (unwillingly) wearing her high priestess robes she wasn't sure, and didn't particularly care, all she knew was that there were far too many eyes on her for her liking. She didn't like cities, with all these narrow streets and tall buildings blocking out the sky, hemming in on her from all sides, forcing her to get too close to the astonishingly high number of Pokémon who were somehow sharing space without killing each other that she had to constantly struggle to keep her survival instincts in check so she didn't lash out at a harmless pedestrian just for walking a little too close to her. It felt claustrophobic and unnatural, absolutely nothing like the snowfields and icy forests of her homeland, where you could go for days without seeing another Pokémon that wasn't family or prey, and see a sky uncluttered by flying machines or Pokémon or skyscrapers or floating islands and mansions. There was a reason she found herself so enamored with Lily's new estate; it reminded her of home, even if all the strange ice creatures and monsters were somewhat unfamiliar to her.

_You're my High Priestess, and this is—or rather, _was—_one of my major centers of worship in Fichina,_ Darkrai explained to her. _It's expected of you to visit while you're in the city, to pay respects and give blessings and all that._

"I have no idea how to do all that," she muttered under her breath in frustration. "You know as well as I do that I'm High Priestess in name only. You never taught me how to do any of the rites or ceremonies or, or other things a Pokémon of my position is supposed to know!"

_I seem to recall my offering to teach you years ago. You turned me down,_ Darkrai pointed out.

"Because I didn't think I'd ever _need_ to know!" she growled.

_Well, you were wrong, and now you've got to face the consequences of your willful ignorance,_ Darkrai said. When she sagged in dismay at this, he took pity on her and said, _Don't worry, just follow my lead and do whatever I tell you and you'll do fine._

"Well, all right," she said reluctantly. She turned a corner and paused, getting her first look at her master's temple.

She didn't like what she saw. "Is this the right place?" she asked somewhat dubiously as she stared at the giant structure made of crumbling black stone with towering statues of Darkrai and nightmarish creatures along with great jutting spikes reaching towards the heavens, ghoulish friezes covering the walls, stained glass windows depicting horrific creatures and vistas, and bowls of black fire burning along a winding path zigzagging across a garden of withered flowers and plants with gruesome sculptures and fountains pouring what looked an awful lot like blood from the mouths and wounds of Pokémon twisted in agony interspersed across the yard. Lots of bones haphazardly littered the ground, with whole skeletons of beasts Sasha had never seen before and hoped she'd never have to lying all over the place. The entrance to the temple was made up to look like the jaws of a huge monster, with a pair of massive pitch-black wrought-iron doors placed just inside the fanged maw of the beast. Smoke and flames rose from the twisted and broken spires growing from the top of the temple, and the flyers filling the city's skies steered far away from the dark cloud that seemed to be perpetually hanging over the building.

_Are you questioning my sense of direction?_ Darkrai asked.

"No, it's just…this looks more like the lair of an evil sorcerer than a place of worship," Sasha said. "And I should know, since we passed several lairs of evil sorcerers on our way here. They really let so many live inside the city? Is that safe?"

_Sure, why wouldn't it be? They're certified card-carrying members of the Evil Wizards' Union, one of Fichina's oldest and most respected non-profit organizations. They pay their taxes in full on time and everything. They even have fund-raisers and bake sales and their own float in parades,_ Darkrai said.

"…But…they're _evil!_" Sasha protested.

_More as a hobby than an actual profession. They're regular law-abiding citizens most of the time, though _which_ laws they follow vary. They're really mostly harmless, or as harmless as any Pokémon wielding enough magical power to wipe out small towns can be,_ Darkrai said.

"I do not understand," said the very confused Sasha.

_There are many degrees of evil, Sasha. Some are more acceptable than others,_ Darkrai said. _And if you get _too_ evil, not even the other bad guys will want to hang out with you, hence why Bellum's been permanently blackballed from any Union events ever since she got booted from the country. I myself am a proud member and sponsor of the Union, and have been for centuries!_

"What?! But you're not evil!" Sasha protested.

_My job involves making people die and scaring the heck out of them for shits and giggles. Some people could call that evil,_ Darkrai pointed out.

"Well…yes, but-"

_And there are lots of people who call _your_ species evil because of that whole disaster thing you've got going on,_ Darkrai added.

"I don't cause disasters, I just predict them!" Sasha said angrily.

_And I don't kill people, but that doesn't stop them from blaming me for their deaths,_ Darkrai said. _The nightmare thing is my fault, though; I'll cop to that much. Not like I'm going to apologize for it, though._

"What purpose do nightmares even serve, anyway, other than scaring decent Pokémon?" Sasha complained.

_Other than occasionally giving them prophetic omens? Abyss if I know. I think it might somehow build character, guilt people into staying the right and proper, and punish the wicked, but I'm not actually sure how. It's my job, though, and I enjoy doing it, and that's enough for me,_ Dakrai said cheerfully. _Which might be cause enough for some to call me evil, though I don't really look at it that way myself. Still, it makes me eligible for the Union, and I'm never one to turn down an invitation to join an exclusive club. It's not like I get many of those as is._

"Ah," Sasha said, still not really understanding. "And…is that why your temple looks that way?"

_What? Heck no! That thing's a disgrace!_ Darkrai said angrily. _Ever since those emo punks joined the clergy, they've completely ruined it and turned it into some kind of ridiculous fantasy right out of one of those stupid teen vampire novels! I mean, seriously, just look at the thing! A temple to me is supposed to be imposing, awe-inspiring, capable of eliciting fear and respect from those who stand in its shadow. But this? This is just _tacky._ I mean, come on, fountains of blood? Really now? Do you have any idea how clichéd that is? Plus, look at those statues and the artwork on the walls and windows!_

"It is very…grotesque," Sasha said charitably.

_Yeah, because it's ugly and amateurish! It doesn't frighten you, it _disgusts_ you by over-emphasizing the gore and horror and shock factor. That's completely missing the point! It's supposed to be scary, not _vulgar!_ Plus, look at how downhill the upkeep has gotten. Those plants in the garden are supposed to be alive and healthy. Those broken statues and pieces of stone should be whole and in one piece. And those bones _definitely_ do not belong there, or at least not lying all over the place in pieces!_

"I suppose they could do a better job of keeping the place neat," Sasha admitted, surveying the temple grounds with a fresher perspective. Now that she looked at it, the arrangement of statues and bones and landscaping, which she had initially thought to be intentional, now looked rather slapdash and unplanned. The stones making up the temple itself were scuffed and scratched and worn, and looked more old and poorly-maintained than genuinely intimidating, the spikes and spires looked like they might topple over if struck by the slightest breeze or flying object—perhaps that was really why the airspace over the temple was so clear?—and the artwork, on closer examination, looked more like it belonged in a modern art gallery than a holy ground. And were those markings on the walls that she had initially taken to be holy icons _graffiti?_ How sacrilegious!

_Ya think?!_ Darkrai said angrily. _And if that's not bad enough, they're _polluting_ too!_

Sasha glanced at the dark cloud hovering over the temple. "That cloud is not supposed to be there?"

_Oh no, it is, but all that smoke and stuff rising from the roof isn't. Do they have any _idea_ what kind of damage they could do to the environment, especially in an ecosystem as rigidly structured as Fichina's? All the weather here is controlled by magic, and dumping pollution into the mix can cause _very_ bad storms if the city meteomancers aren't on the ball!_

"What do meteors have to do with the weather?" Sasha asked.

_Huh? Meteors? What do you…oh, I get it! Heheh, very funny! You might be developing a sense of humor after all!_ Darkrai said proudly.

"I do not understand," Sasha said.

_You know, because of the joke?_ Darkrai said.

"What joke?" Sasha asked.

…_Ugh. Never mind,_ Darkrai said wearily.

"So…what am I doing here?" Sasha asked.

_As you may have gathered from my ranting, this place has fallen on fairly bad times due to the grotesque mismanagement of its priesthood,_ Darkrai said. _As my High Priestess, I want you to get in there and whip them into shape! Get this temple back in working order!_

"And how am I supposed to do that?" Sasha asked with a frown.

_Just be your usual self and follow my instructions. Not that I'm sure you'll need to. You were able to browbeat that Lobo guy into submission pretty easily, weren't you?_ Darkrai asked.

"I suppose," Sasha admitted.

_Then get in there and do it again! _Darkrai said.

She frowned. "May I ask why you can't do this yourself?"

_I tried. They didn't get the point. Now it's time for me to pull out the big guns…namely, you,_ Darkrai said.

"Well, all right…I suppose I don't have anything better to do at the moment," Sasha said reluctantly, giving in.

_You certainly don't,_ Darkrai agreed, causing her to roll her eyes.

She started walking up the long, zigzagging walkway towards the temple's entrance, Darkrai keeping up a running commentary in the back of her head about how much he hated the current state of the temple and what colossal idiots its current management were and how much better it had been back in the day and all the changes he'd have Sasha implement once she'd laid down the law and all sorts of other things she didn't pay very much attention to since she was too busy keeping her eyes and ears and nose open for any threats. Her disaster-sense for the surrounding area was surprisingly low, indicating that despite the rather grisly and gruesome appearance of the temple environs almost nothing here was actually a threat, something Darkrai admitted was true as well in the old days but the place had actually been scary then to compensate for it rather than just looking overwrought and melodramatic like it was now. Even so, she didn't like or trust this city, despite frequent assurances that it was perfectly safe and that nobody would hurt her (not that they could, what with the robes she was wearing). She was a predator out of her natural habitat, and she'd never be able to fully relax so long as she was in this strange land full of magic and mystery and things she had no idea how to deal with.

She paused briefly when she came to the jaws before the temple door, but after the great set of teeth failed to set off her disaster-sense, she shrugged and walked between two of the overlarge fangs. This set Darkrai off again. _Oh, come on! They can't even be bothered to keep the thing rigged so it would start closing the instant you passed through it, only to stop just inches from crushing you, giving you a big fright but not harming you in the slightest?!_

"Couldn't that give those with a weak heart some difficulty?" Sasha asked.

_If you have a weak heart, what business do you have here?_ Darkrai asked. _And besides, the temple has—or rather, _had —_pretty good medical facilities on hand just in case someone got a heart attack from all the scares._

"Why would a temple for the god of death have good health care?" Sasha asked.

_Everyone dies eventually, but there's no reason for a life to end sooner rather than later,_ Darkrai said. _I'm the god of death, yeah, but I'm actually happier if someone dies after a long and storied life than if they do it before they reach the end of their natural lifespan. It's less emotional that way, and it doesn't feel like they left quite as much unfinished. It also means less work for me, which is always a plus._

"That's a rather lazy attitude to have," she said with a frown.

_Less work means I get to spend more time with my wife, who you know as well as I do that I don't get to see nearly as often as I would like, even _before_ she got kidnapped by Oblivion's Shadow,_ Darkrai said bitterly. _Can you really begrudge me that?_

"…No, I suppose I cannot," Sasha admitted, thinking of her own mate, who she'd left to guard their home near the Frosty Forest so she could run off and save the world. A pang of sadness and regret rang through her as she thought of him, all alone in their cave, waiting and wondering when, if ever, his beloved wife would come home.

_Don't worry,_ Darkrai said, sensing her mood. _He's fine. So are your kids. I told some of my guys to keep an eye on them while you were gone, make sure nothing bad happened to them. It's the least I could do, since I had to drag you away from them and all._

Sasha released a breath she hadn't been aware she'd been holding. "Thank you. That is…very good to hear." She smiled sadly. "I am sorry that the same assurances could not be made for your own mate."

…_Yeah…well…her situation's not ideal, but Oblivion's Shadow is bound by the contract between us just as much as I am, so he can't do anything _too_ bad to her,_ Darkrai said, though he didn't sound as if he entirely believed it. _And I can pop in every now and then to check up on her. But yeah, I worry for her. A lot. What kind of husband would I be if I didn't?_

"We will rescue her soon," Sasha promised.

_Yeah, I know,_ Darkrai said, cheering up. _And once you do, I won't have to hold back any longer…and boy, will the Shadow wish he'd never tried to mess with me._

"I look forward to seeing that," Sasha said.

_Heh, me too,_ Darkrai said. _But that's for another day. Right now, we need to get you inside._

Sasha frowned as she stared at the giant imposing doors looming above her. "Should I knock? I believe that is the custom in cities and other populated areas, although Leo says that in video games heroes are able to enter any domicile they wish and break everything in sight looking for treasure without suffering any repercussions whatsoever, something that greatly perplexes me, since anyone who tried something like that in my home would quickly find their life at an end."

_Most video game heroes are scary-looking dudes with really big and dangerous-looking weapons, and smart people don't want to mess with a guy like that,_ Darkrai said. _In this instance, though, I doubt knocking will do you any good, considering how lax this place has gotten. Doubt there's even anyone on duty to answer the door._

"Then how am I to get inside?" Sasha asked.

_You're my High Priestess, wearing the robes of office. Nothing which serves me can refuse you so long as my blessing is with you, including the temple itself. You want in? Tell it to _let _you in,_ Darkrai said.

"Tell it? It's a building. It's not alive," Sasha protested.

_After everything you've seen so far in Fichina, you really think a flimsy distinction like that is a problem?_ Darkrai asked.

"Noted. Very well." She took a few steps back, stood up straight, and glared at the door. "I am the High Priestess of Darkrai. May I enter, please?"

Nothing happened. Darkrai snorted. _Come on, Sasha, don't be a namby-pamby. It's not going to listen to you if you act all polite. You're its superior. It has to answer to you. Make it do what you want!_

Sasha nodded. "Understood." She took a deep breath and narrowed her eyes, intensifying her glare. "I am the High Priestess of Darkrai. I command you to let me in!"

Again, nothing happened. Sasha frowned. "Was I not forceful enough?"

Darkrai growled in annoyance. _No, that should have worked. To think those idiots have let it get this bad! Fine, looks like we're going to have to do this the hard way. Sasha, do you mind if I borrow your body for a second?_

Sasha blinked in surprise. "Borrow my body?"

_Yeah, you know, take control of it for a little while so I can get the door open for you,_ Darkrai said.

"I'm not letting you take control of my body!" Sasha protested in horror.

_Come on, I'll give it right back!_ Darkrai said.

"No!" she said.

_Look, do you want to get inside or not?!_ Darkrai asked.

"Not really, no, I'm only here because you told me to," Sasha snarled.

_That's right, and you have to do what I say because I'm the boss. Which also means that I can possess you by force if I want to,_ Darkrai warned her. _I don't want to do that if I don't have to—it's unpleasant for both of us, and especially unfair to you—but this is something that needs to get taken care of, and I'm going to make sure it's done one way or another. So, are you going to let me in, or do I have to take your body by force? _

Sasha clenched her teeth, body shaking in anger. "I've already given you my life and my soul. Now you want my body, too?! What's next, my children? My mate? My friends?!"

_I'm going to get all of those sooner or later anyway. God of death and all,_ Darkrai pointed out. _Look, I can understand where you're coming from, and I'm sorry if I'm being a little too heavy-handed here. But this is something which means a lot to me, and if there were anyone else I could rely on to take care of it I would, but I don't. All I have is you. Which is good, because you're the best Pokémon for the job in my opinion._

She closed her eyes, struggling to get her temper back in check. "Why is this so important to you?"

_How would you feel if you and your mate went out for a walk and came back to find a bunch of squatters in your cave, who'd trashed all your stuff and defecated all over the place?_ Darkrai asked.

Sasha grimaced. "I would be very upset."

_Well, that's pretty much how I feel here, except I can't come in person to deal with it so I need to send in a proxy. Namely, you,_ Darkrai said.

"Why is it you can't come in person, anyway?" Sasha asked.

_Er…I'm not allowed in Fichina for another two hundred and seventy four years,_ Darkrai admitted embarrassedly. _Long story. Short of it is, don't piss of Kyurem. Ever. You'll regret it. Oh, and Victini might look like a pushover, but when she really gets going, not even _I_ can beat her._

"Ah," Sasha said.

_Anyway, I can't come down there, but you can. And since you're there, I can use your body to…take care of business,_ Darkrai explained. _Which in this case means opening the door._

Sasha frowned. "You really don't think knocking will work?"

_If telling the darn thing to open doesn't do the trick, then what makes you think knocking will?_

Sasha sighed reluctantly. "I suppose that's true."

_So…you gonna let me in, or what?_ Darkrai asked.

Sasha ground her teeth in thought for a moment. "…You promise you'll give it back?"

_Of course I will. I'm insulted you'd even ask me that,_ Darkrai said, offended.

"I apologize. I just…wanted to be sure," Sasha said. She sighed, giving in. "All right. But just for a moment, all right?"

_Sure thing. Unless you want me to take care of the layabouts inside, too?_

"I am confident I can handle them on my own," Sasha said.

_Heh, yeah, you probably will at that,_ Darkrai said. _So, you ready?_

"As ready as I'll ever be, I suppose," Sasha said uneasily.

_Okay, just close your eyes and relax,_ Darkrai said.

Sasha closed her eyes, but she did not relax. How could she, knowing she was about to lose control of her body, even if it was only for a short time?

Despite her misgivings, she found her tension easing as a strange coolness seemed to creep into the corners of her subconscious. Slowly, gently, she found herself drifting off into a half-slumber, a state not unlike dreaming while still being awake.

And while Sasha dozed off, her eyes slowly closing, something else woke in her place.

Her head snapped up. Some of her white fur had fallen over the right side of her face, covering the eye there, while her left eye was now an eerie blue rather than its usual red. She stretched out her limbs and rolled her head about, working out some kinks in the neck. "Hmm. So this is what it feels like to be Sasha. She keeps in very good shape. A bit too small for my liking, though. I won't stay in this form for long," she said in a voice that did not sound entirely like herself.

She fixed the door with a glare. "Okay, listen up, because I'm only going to say this once. I am Sasha, High Priestess of Darkrai, god of darkness, death, nightmares, deserts, desserts, cigarettes, and as of last Wednesday, independent films. I am the arbiter of his will and the champion of his dark realm. I command you to open and allow me entrance into my dominion, or suffer the wrath of the Dark Lord's chosen emissary and representative."

Obstinately, the door remained shut. The wind stopped blowing. The blood in the fountains stopped flowing. The Pokémon in the air got a vague feeling that they should not be anywhere in the vicinity and quickly rushed off. As silence fell on the temple grounds, Sasha narrowed her visible eye. "You _dare_ to refuse me entry?!" she snarled furiously as her fur stood on end and her cloak began to shimmer and ripple in an absent breeze. The door didn't answer, naturally, since it was a door, but its stubborn silence couldn't help but feel like an insult. "So be it, then. You have brought this upon yourself." Crouching low to the ground, she braced herself, dug her claws into the stone steps, and _howled._

Her cloak turned darker than darkness and flowed upwards, turning from fabric into a mass of living shadow, rising and growing until it took on the shape of a big black silhouette shaped like Dakrai growing out of her back. The silhouette's arms bulged and shot forwards, digging its huge amorphous claws into the surface of the door and _pulling_. With a screech of ripping metal that sounded rather similar to an agonized scream, the giant shadow tore the door off its hinges and flung it over its shoulders, the two huge metal slabs shattering several of the teeth in the big jaws framing the entrance and dislodging the stuck joints in the giant mouthpiece, causing it to slam down just behind Sasha with a terrifying thud like the strike of doom. The two door panels tumbled through the air and came to ground some distance away, smashing some of the ugly statues and crushing dead flowers and breaking some of the gauche fountains as they hit the ground, causing blood to splatter all over the place and ooze out across the ground from beneath the panels, making it look as if the broken doors were bleeding.

Sasha smirked as she looked into the gaping black void which was all that remained of the gateway into the temple. "Well, that was satisfying." She closed her eyes. The shadow growing out of her back shuddered and sunk back into her body, solidifying into her priestly robes.

She stumbled, gasping as her eyes shot open, back to their usual red hue. "What…wh-what just…" Blinking, she stared at the open entryway before her, and then slowly turned to take in the fallen jaws, the wrecked garden, and the broken door panels lying in the yard. "Did…did _I_ do that?"

_No, I did. Well, your _body_ did it, but I was in control, so…yeah,_ Darkrai said.

"I…did not realize these garments carried such power," said the stunned Absol.

_Rethinking your desire never to use them in battle?_ Darkrai asked.

"…Possibly. It still feels like cheating, and I'm not comfortable wielding such power, but…I suppose I could see the advantages to using it in certain situations…" she admitted slowly.

_Cool. Too bad it's going to be a while until you actually get a chance to use that power, since you're not allowed to wield it against the Nihilators…yet. Rescue Cresselia, _then_ we'll talk,_ Darkrai said.

"We certainly shall," Sasha agreed, still slightly dazed.

_And speaking of talking, right now I think you have some layabout priests to see to,_ Darkrai said.

Sasha nodded. "Right. Let's get this over with."

She entered the temple. The interior was not much better than the outside. If anything, it was worse, since the sunlight shining in from behind Sasha was able to illuminate the dim passage stretching out before her and expose the filth covering almost every surface to the piercing light of day. Scraps of food, bone, and bits of clothing littered the floor. More graffiti covered the walls, seemingly glorifying Darkrai, but if the growls in the back of Sasha's mind were anything to go by, he did not like the way he was portrayed, especially the ones where he was rather violently…er, mating…with Cresselia, and several other goddesses. Rusty bloodstained chains with spiked apparatuses and cages containing emaciated skeletons dangling from them hung from the ceiling and were wrapped around several of the twisted black pillars rising to the ceiling far above, which may have once had a mosaic depicting the night sky on it but was now so dirty it was hard to say for certain. Statues of horrific creatures were perched high on the walls, made even more horrifying due to someone deciding it would be a bright idea to paint them in gaudy colors and decorate them in chains and spikes and sunglasses and facial studs and gang signs. A few banners depicting Dakrai's glory still hung between the pillars, but most of them were tattered and full of holes, and the more recent posters of rock bands (none of which were the Pokérockers, strangely enough) and singers and horror stars, all of whom looked rather pale and emaciated and shared the same (bad) sense of fashion were in much better upkeep. Several large cobwebs were strung across the hallway, large enough to trap a Pokémon twice Sasha's size, but if the carapaces dangling from them were anything to go by it didn't look like their makers had been fed in a very long time. _No! My demonweb Spinarak!_ Darkrai cried in horror when he saw the overlarge husks, which looked much larger than any Spinarak—or Ariados, for that matter!—that Sasha had ever seen. They even looked like they might have given Doctor Tarantulas a fright had they still been alive. _Those bastards let them die! Do you have any idea how much trouble I had to go through to get them?! There's a reason Lolth doesn't invite me to her parties anymore!_

"Who is Lolth?" Sasha asked.

_Queen of Spiders. Nasty bitch. You wouldn't like her,_ Darkrai said offhandedly.

"There seem to be a lot of people you know that you say I wouldn't like," Sasha said.

_I'm the god of nightmares. You expect a lot of the people I associate with to be sociable?_

"Good point," Sasha said. She frowned. "That's strange. There's nobody here."

_They didn't even come running when you ripped the doors open?! What, did they even let the security spells go?! You know, I'm wondering if maybe I _should_—with your permission, of course—take over your body again, because I have _quite a few_ things to say to these jackasses!_ Darkrai said angrily.

"No," Sasha said.

_Aw, come on, not even for a little while?_ Darkrai pleaded.

"Once is enough, thank you very much. I'll take care of this myself," Sasha said.

_Oh, fine,_ Darkrai relented, grumbling. _But if you change your mind, you know where to find me._

"Noted," Sasha said, trotting down the hallway leading deeper into the temple, careful to avoid the cobwebs and bones as she went. She could smell other Pokémon—along with a number of other things she could not quite identify, and wasn't sure she wanted to—further in. She could also hear something that sounded faintly like music, but nothing she'd heard before, and nothing Leo'd forced her to listen to either. It vibrated through the floor and into her bones, setting her teeth on edge as she drew closer to its source and it got louder and louder. She frowned as she examined her surroundings. "I mean no offense, my lord, but I find myself somewhat…disappointed."

_Yeah, so am I,_ Darkrai said.

"No, that's not what I mean," Sasha said. "What I mean is, what I've seen so far of this temple is kind of…conventional."

_Conventional? How do you mean?_ Darkrai asked.

"Well, look at all the other buildings I've seen in Fichina. Most of them have completely fantastic styles and interiors due to their builders and owners not being bound by the same restrictions which architects in the outside world have to go by," Sasha said. "This temple, however, looks like it could be your average abandoned dungeon anywhere else in the world. I was just expecting a little…more, I guess."

_Ah, I see what you mean. Hmm…now that you mention it…yeah, it is a bit plain and uninspired, isn't it?_ Darkrai admitted. _It looked much better back in the day, trust me. I bet it's those damn acolytes to blame. Most of them are whiny teenagers trying to rebel against their parents and society, so are trying to defy convention by making their hangout look different from the mainstream._

"How is making something look like your average dungeon from anywhere else in the world defying convention?" asked the confused Absol.

_When you live in a country where the fantastic is the norm, making something simple and fairly unimaginative _is_ defying convention,_ Darkrai explained. _It's all about perspective. You live in a cave, so think houses and palaces are strange and out of the ordinary, while the people who live in those houses and palaces would think the same of your cave, isn't that true?_

"Hmm. I suppose it is," Sasha admitted in surprise. "Still, I think I prefer my cave to all the ostentatiousness I've been exposed to since leaving."

_What, you don't like getting pampered or sleeping in a soft bed?_ Darkrai asked.

"I am a simple womon with simple needs. The myriad material goods and comforts the civilized world has to offer are irrelevant to me. All I need is a warm place to rest my head beside my loved ones, and I am content," Sasha said.

_Heh. Yet another reason I like you so much, Sasha. You desire so little, there's almost nothing that can be used to bribe or corrupt you. That's another reason you make such a good high priestess,_ Darkrai said in amusement.

"Thank you, my lord," she said.

Shortly after that exchange, Sasha found herself standing before a pair of large doors at the far end of the hallway engraved with an image of Darkrai floating beneath a full moon, tendrils of darkness reaching out from his lower half. Flashing lights could be seen through the crack down the center of the door, and the music from the other side was so loud that even through the door it was nearly deafening. She looked at it somewhat dubiously. "Should I try commanding it to open again?" she asked.

_Nah, it's unlocked,_ Darkrai said.

Seeing no reason to doubt him, Sasha pushed at the door with her nose. To her relief, it swung open with a very loud creak, which Darkrai complained about, saying that the hinges used to have been calibrated just right to emit a particularly creepy creak, but this one was much too loud to be effective as a fright, especially since it could barely even be heard over the sound of the music.

Once through the door, Sasha was able to see what was causing the music, as well as the latest depravity the fallen worshippers had visited upon her master's temple. She now found herself in a huge rectangular chamber big enough to fit a cave ten times as large as her home back in Kanjohenn, with twisting pillars reaching up to a domed ceiling overhead that had once had an enchanted mural of the night sky overhead, but was now completely painted over in black with lots of weird glow-in-the-dark sigils covering up all the constellations. A large crystal sphere resembling the Moon hung down from the center of the ceiling, but rather than radiating light it emitted beams of blackness which danced across the room, briefly engulfing everything they passed over in darkness. Sasha started when one of the beams flashed over her face, causing her to see nothing but pitch blackness for a moment until it thankfully moved on. More bones and debris and trash littered the floor, but it was swept away from the center of the room, which had been sunken a few inches into the ground and covered in a grid of crystal tiles that flashed with fluorescent and black lights, weird symbols flickering across their surfaces as what looked like an army of zombies flailed and writhed violently on it and above it, since gravity didn't mean much to Pokémon capable of flying or at the very least levitating themselves through magical or other means. At first Sasha thought they were in agony from the very loud and not-too-pleasant music filling the room, but then realized that they actually seemed to be _dancing_ to it, and only a quarter of the dancers were zombies, the rest were just Pokémon so pale and thin and malnourished-looking that they just resembled the undead. Surprisingly, only a few of them were Dark and Ghost-types, the rest were an odd mishmash of Pokémon from various different species that had used various types of cosmetics and props to make themselves look like they were either 'dark' variants of their species or completely different Pokémon altogether, much in the same way Dawn was able to make herself look like a Sneasel, except that Dawn's disguise actually made her look a fair bit like a Sneasel from a distance, whereas these Pokémon just looked like they were wearing cheap Halloween costumes they'd made themselves, which wasn't far off the mark. All of them were dressed in black, and wearing too much black makeup and eyeliner and lipstick, with hair done in spikes, lots of body piercings covering their forms, and tattoos of obscene and arcane sigils flashing on their exposed flesh or scales or fur or carapaces.

Chains and torture devices hung from the ceiling and leaned against walls and pillars, and several large cages containing dancing skeletons and zombies and Pokémon looking like they were trying too hard to _look_ like skeletons and zombies levitated through the air alongside gravity-defying rivers of blood much like the rivers flowing through the air above the Fichinan countryside and pulsating dark crystals throwing out more of the black lights as glyphs that it hurt Sasha's head to look at flickered across their surfaces. These crystals also seemed to be the source of the 'music' filling the sanctuary, although whether it could be called that since it seemed to largely consist of lots of screaming of both the agonized and ecstatic kind with lots of ranting about blood and death and darkness and how their parents didn't understand them was debatable. These crystals were being manipulated by a DJ wizard Tympole standing at the edge of the pit, using a wand to direct the gems around the room while using a magitech keyboard to control the sounds and images while raw, unfiltered _noise_ boomed from loudspeakers fashioned from monstrous skulls floating on either side of him.

Tables and couches and other furniture that had been badly torn up was pushed back away from the center of the room, and would-be acolytes like the ones on the dance floor were chatting it up and drinking blood and smoking and doing magical narcotics or fornicating without caring that they were in public, in a supposedly sacred place, or that they were using very old and valuable tapestries and banners and pages from holy books as bedding. If the groups of giggling Pokémon running off together—and emerging, sometime later, with very disappointed and embarrassed looks on their faces—into the passages leading off from the sanctuary were anything to go by, it seemed like no part of this establishment was safe from 'acts of dark worship.' If this were a Mewrian temple, that kind of promiscuity would be encouraged and accepted, but it wasn't, so it was just sort of appalling and sad instead.

The back wall of the room, directly across from where Sasha was standing, was taken up by a massive statue of Darkrai with a claw raised dramatically towards the heavens; one of the few things in the temple that looked like it was receiving proper care. The altar at its base was also receiving proper care, though in a different sense, in that it was being used by senior acolytes in black robes to welcome a new initiate into their circle by strapping her down on the altar and whipping her while one of them—probably the leader due to the fact that he had dyed his hair white and was wearing a necklace of angular red stones around his neck to try and look more like his god—was, ah…_consecrating_ her from the rear, if you get my meaning. As Sasha stared at this obscene ritual in disbelief, she noticed that the initiate was wearing a headdress and ribbons reminiscent of Cresselia's crescents, and not much else. This, along with the other vulgar graffiti and burning effigies depicting the lunar goddess being killed in horrific and brutal ways, indicated that these Pokémon did not think highly of Darkrai's wife.

Sasha and Darkrai, in turn, did not think very highly of what they had done with the place. "This…this is…vile beyond all my expectations…" said a shocked Sasha, her eyes watering and her head pounding from the sheer amount of sensory overload she was getting from all the flashing lights and loud noises and horrible smells filling the former sanctuary. She was beginning to understand some of Darkrai's revulsion for the defilement of his temple.

_A rave? A RAVE?! THOSE BASTARDS TURNED MY SANCTUARY INTO A FUCKING RAVE?!_ Darkrai bellowed furiously. _And…and the decorations…and Cressy…on my altar, even! I…those…those horrible little…_ He degenerated into enraged stammers and curses, so angry he was unable to properly articulate himself.

"…Master, would you like to take control of my body again?" Sasha asked.

_I'm _STRONGLY_ considering it!_ Darkrai shouted.

"As am I," Sasha admitted reluctantly. "These…creatures need a strong talking-to, if nothing else. I can't believe their parents allow this! What kind of example are they setting for their offspring if they allow them to behave like this?!"

_Typical teenage punks rebelling against authority because they think their parents are oppressing them and don't have a clue as to what life in the real world is like,_ Darkrai said with a sneer. _Most of them are probably rich kids with mommy or daddy issues acting out to get attention or to make themselves look cool by going against mainstream society, uncaring that in doing so they're simply conforming to a new paradigm rather than demonstrating real independence. Seriously, do any of those outfits look original to you? I can see the same exact tattoos and piercings and trashy outfits on several dozen of them!_

"So they are trying show that they're different from everyone else by all acting the same? That is, obscene?" Sasha asked in puzzlement.

_Yep,_ Darkrai said.

"…That makes no sense, especially if so many of them do the exact same thing," Sasha said.

_That's teenagers for you. Not a bright bulb in the lot of them,_ Darkrai said.

"My children were all fine, well-behaved hunters when they were this age!" Sasha protested.

_Sasha, your definition of 'well-behaved' isn't necessarily the same as most people's,_ Darkrai pointed out. _Plus, I doubt any of these spoiled brats have ever had to kill for their food._

"I doubt any of them would last very long where I come from, magic or no magic," Sasha agreed.

_Then go over there and show them who's boss! Put a stop to this vulgarity!_ Darkrai said. A cry of joy and pain from the initiate on the altar rang throughout the room, only barely able to be heard over the bass. _…And do it before I snap and do something I'll regret later!_

Sasha nodded in agreement. "I agree. This needs to stop now." She trotted from the doorway into the room and started rounding the dance pit towards the altar, figuring it would be the best place for her to be seen and heard by everyone in the room. Most of the would-be acolytes were too deep into their partying and reveling to notice her as she walked past them, but a few of the slightly less inebriated individuals blinked in confusion as she went by, briefly wondering if they were hallucinating…and if they weren't hallucinating, then what was an adult doing in their 'holy' temple?

Sasha wrinkled her nose in disgust, the noxious odors of the narcotics and perfumes and fornication and other bodily functions filling her nostrils and making her feel like retching. Darkrai reminded her that her robe's power allowed her not to breathe if she didn't want to, but she didn't like being cut off from one of her fundamental senses, so tolerated the foul scents filling the air while suffering in silence. It wasn't the worst mixture of odors she'd ever had to endure, but it came pretty close.

Blood added itself to that cocktail as she reached the altar, where the initiate, a rather fat Minccino wearing too much makeup along with her ugly adornments reminiscent of Cresselia, was leaking vital crimson fluids from the oozing strips on her back that had been made by the black-garbed Ferrothorn hovering around the chinchilla flagellating her with their thorny vines. The blood stained her fur as it ran down her body and off the altar, where it collected in bowls placed around its rim for just that purpose, fresh bowls being swapped in whenever the ones on the ground were full and passed around to other acolytes who drank from it, apparently deluded into thinking they were vampires. (The fake plastic fangs they'd put in their mouths wasn't helping this impression.) Sasha was disgusted by this practice, and didn't understand why the Minccino was allowing this to be done to her…or why she seemed to be _enjoying_ it, if her shrieks of ecstasy from the lashes of the tendrils as well as the…ministrations from the morbidly obese Lickilicky dressed up as Darkrai behind her was anything to go by. Stomach clenching and teeth clenched in rage, she flicked her head, sending Razor Winds flying through the air and into the Ferrothorns, knocking them away from the Pidgeot with anguished cries. The Lickilicky looked up in surprise. "Hey, what the-"

He cried out when Sasha leaped over the altar, pouncing on the overweight long-tongued Pokémon—who'd died his skin black to make himself look more like Darkrai, but only succeeded in making himself look even more like an idiot—and pushing him to the floor with a thud that shook the sanctuary and knocked the dancers off-balance enough to make them realize something was wrong. A few idiots screamed that there was an earthquake and a full-blown panic nearly started, but then others noticed that an adult had somehow made it into their inner sanctum and froze right in their tracks, realizing that something even _worse_ than a seismic disturbance might be at hand. The DJ, terrified that this was a police raid—or worse, a parental intervention!—switched off his equipment in fright and teleported away, taking the music with him and making everyone in the room who had not yet gotten the memo aware from the abrupt absence of their favorite tunes that something was very, very wrong. Within minutes (it would have taken seconds, but too many of the acolytes were inebriated or high to be fully aware of what was going on around them) all eyes were focused on Sasha, which was pretty much exactly what she had wanted to happen.

_Nice way to draw attention to yourself,_ Darkrai said approvingly.

"I try," she growled under her breath, eyes focused on the terrified Lickilicky pinned underneath her.

The Minccino's head shot up and she angrily looked over her shoulder at Sasha. "Hey, what are you doing?! It's my turn! You can have a go when I'm finished being initiated!"

"Y-yeah, what she said," the Lickilicky said nervously. "I mean, you look pretty good and all—for an old lady—but if you want a turn with me, you kind of have to wait until-"

"Be silent," Sasha said harshly to the would-be priest, shutting him up. "Get out of here," the Absol said to the Minccino through gritted teeth without looking at the foolish chinchilla.

"Hey, don't boss me around lady, you're not my mom!" the Minccino squeaked angrily.

"No, and I'm very glad I'm not, as should you, because if I were your mother I would punish you severely for even _thinking_ that something like this was a good idea. I am tempted to do so regardless, which is why I suggest you get out of here, _now_, before I change my mind," Sasha said coldly.

The Mincinno blinked, a shiver running down her spine. "F-fine! But I'm going because I want to, n-not because I'm scared of you o-or anything like that!" she stammered, scurrying away from the altar, her bloodstained paws slipping across the floor and forcing her to frantically flail her arms to maintain her balance.

"Uh, hey, leave those ceremonial ornaments when you go, the next initiate will need them-" the Lickilicky started to say, only for Sasha to cut him off.

"You are a vile, disgusting creature, and you are _extremely _lucky I do not rip out your tongue and devour it for what you were doing to that poor misguided girl, and all the others you have exploited," Sasha said angrily, her robe starting to shimmer and turn into liquid shadow in reaction to her fury.

"H-hey, you can't talk to me like that! Do you have any idea who I am?!" the Lickilicky said angrily.

"No, and I don't care," Sasha said bluntly before her prey could explain that he was Baron Alberto, a wealthy and influential noble most Pokémon didn't want to cross.

"Y-you don't care?!" Alberto stammered in disbelief. "Old womon, who the hell do you think you are?!"

"I am Sasha, High Priestess of Darkrai," Sasha proclaimed.

The acolytes gasped, hushed whispers filling the room as they reacted to this startling news.

"No way! _She's_ the High Priestess?!"

"I didn't think she'd be so…old…"

"For an old lady, she looks pretty hot…rowr!"

"I thought I recognized her from TV…isn't she one of those heroes fighting to save the world from the Nihilators?"

"Oooh, she came to Fichina with vampires! Do you think she could hook us up?! Dean looks sooooo cute!"

"Dean? Forget him, Bob's where it's at! He's such a sexy mutt…woof!"

"I wonder where I can get robes like those? They look pretty sweet…"

Alberto's small beady eyes lit up in delight. "You are Darkrai's High Priestess?! Oh, happy night! Ever since we heard you were in the city, we hoped you'd pay us a visit! In fact, we sent messages to your current lodging, but kept getting turned away…the Fantasmas don't like us for some reason…"

_Gee, I wonder why,_ Darkrai said sarcastically.

"But now that you are here, we may celebrate!" Alberto declared. "There shall be a great feast, and dancing and rejoicing, and drinking, and a great orgy! I would be delighted if you gave me the honor of being your host and consort for this evening—even if you are a little too old for my tastes—and-"

"No," Sasha said.

Alberto blinked in surprise and disappointment. "Huh? You don't…oh. Well, um, I suppose I could find someone else for you, if your tastes run that-"

"You misunderstand," Sasha said coldly. "There will be no celebration. There will be no feasting or dancing or rejoicing or drinking, and _certainly_ no orgy. There is nothing to celebrate. I am here to deliver a message from Darkrai himself."

The acolytes, whose faces had been falling in shock and confusion when Sasha declared there wouldn't be a party, perked up at this. "A message from the Master? Wonderful! What is it? Does he wish to congratulate us for our service? Does he wish to grant us an honorary place at his side in the hereafter? Does he wish us to help him to usher in an eternal night-" Alberto started.

"Darkrai hates you," Sasha said plainly.

"And free him from his sham marriage to the Moon-bitch Cresselia forev—wait, what?" Alberto said.

"Darkrai hates you," Sasha repeated, pure contempt dripping from her voice. Her robes grew more agitated as they reacted to her mood, and tendrils of shadow began wriggling out from it, causing the acolytes nearby to draw back in alarm. "You have made a mockery of his name and his sacred darkness. You have defiled his temple and allowed it to fall into ruin and depravity. You have not only turned your backs on his precepts and laws, but completely made a sham of them. You have transformed a place of holiness into a den of sin. You have defaced his monuments, destroyed and abused his relics and treasures, driven his truly faithful servants from here in disgust at what you have done to their home. Your acts of 'worship' profane and sicken him. And most importantly, you have grievously insulted his wife in your defacement and desecration of her chapel and images here, in your filthy graffiti and artwork, and in turning initiation into your ranks into a sex game that's a twisted allegory for divine _rape_." The tendrils grew thicker and flailed more violently, twisting in the air above her. "You have shamed my Master, his wife, and yourselves. You are _extremely_ lucky Darkrai has not tasked me to kill all of you for your disgraceful misconduct, but if you do not change your ways, and change them quickly, he may reconsider his leniency."

The acolytes stared at her in horror. This was most certainly not what they had been expecting. "Darkrai…hates us?" a Bibarel trying to pass himself off as a Scrafty asked.

"He does," Sasha repeated.

"But…but we thought…we thought this was what he wanted…" said a Geodude who'd tried to make himself look like a Spiritomb.

"You thought wrong," Sasha said flatly. A heavy sense of despondency filled the room. Sasha narrowed her eyes, the volatile actions of her cloak settling down slowly as she saw the would-be acolytes begin to realize the immensity of their mistake. "All is not lost. Darkrai, in his infinite mercy-"

_Heheheheh. 'Mercy.' If that's what you want to call me giving them nightmares so horrible they won't be able to sleep for the rest of their lives, go right ahead,_ Darkrai said.

"Will give you one last chance to prove yourselves worthy of serving him," Sasha continued.

"What…what do we have to do?" a black-wooled Flaaffy asked timidly.

"Clean up this temple and restore it to a place of worship and divinity, even better than it was in days long past, rather than a cliched house of horrors. Clean up your acts and stop dressing like horror movie rejects and emos. Get rid of all the zombies, they stink up the joint and drive people away. Stay true to Darkrai's _true_ precepts and wishes, because you certainly aren't following them now. No more drugs or booze or other addictive substances. And most importantly, stop demonizing Cresselia, restore her place of honor in this temple, and make reparations to Cresselia's temple to apologize for the disgraceful behavior you have exhibited towards their goddess and for all the times you've covered the building in flaming toilet paper or other vulgarities," Sasha said.

_I actually don't mind the pranking so much—some of what they did is pretty innovative, which I applaud—but my wife's temple is off-limits,_ Darkrai said. _Don't tell them that, though. That I don't mind the pranking, I mean, I don't want them to think there's _ANYTHING_ I admire about them._

The acolytes exchanged nervous and alarmed looks. "That…sounds like a lot of work," said a Venonat masquerading as a Gastly.

"It _will_ be a lot of work," Sasha agreed.

"But-but that's not fun at all!" protested a Scolipede trying to look like a Drapion.

"You're right, it's not," Sasha said.

Everyone groaned in dismay at this. "But I thought Darkrai's religion was the _fun_ one!" a Hoothoot squawked.

"Religion and service to the gods is serious business," Sasha said seriously. "There's a time and a place for fun, but right now none of you have earned that right. If you want fun so badly, you can join the Mewrians, though I can tell you now they aren't _nearly _as easygoing or laid-back as you might think. It's not _all_ about wanton sex, after all."

_Which was news to me when I first heard about it, I'll tell you that much,_ Darkrai commented.

There was more groaning at this, and some of the acolytes who'd been heading towards the exit, thinking to get out and join the Mewrians while they still could, hesitated in uncertainty. A lot still left, especially upon realizing that they probably weren't going to be having any more raves or orgies or drugs in the near future, but not _everyone_ did, which Sasha took as a sign that there might be hope for some of these lost souls yet.

And then Alberto—who would normally enjoy being pinned under a womon for a lengthy period of time, but usually not one this scary…or old…had to open his big fat mouth again. "Y-you can't do that to us!" the Lickilicky protested.

Sasha glared at him, her dark tendrils flaring up again. "Oh really? And why can't I? I am the High Priestess of Darkrai! As a servant of our Lord, that means you _must_ abide by my orders, which are none other than his delivered from on high!"

"We joined Darkrai's cult because we thought it would mean getting away from all the rules and restrictions our parents and society put on us!" Alberto shouted angrily. "And now you're telling us we just have to follow even _more_ crap like that?! No way, mon! Youth culture forever!"

"YEAH!" the crowd of acolytes cheered, invigorated by their leader's example. "YOOOOOOUTH!"

Emboldened by the support of his peers, the fat Lickilicky kept on going…and digging his grave deeper. "How do we even know you're really speaking for Darkrai, anyway? You're just another adult from the establishment trying to make us do what you want! Psh, like Darkrai would ever _really_ talk to an old hag like you! Heck, I bet that cloak of yours isn't even real!"

As the crowd cheered Alberto for his bravery and refusal to back down to authority, Sasha narrowed her eyes and started growling angrily, her cloak's tendrils flailing agitatedly as her disaster-sense began to tingle, indicating the acolytes were on the verge of a riot. _Permission to kill him, Master?_

_No, that'll just convince the others he's right and turn him into a martyr. I have a better idea, but it's going to involve me temporarily taking control of your body again,_ Darkrai said.

…_Will it put this brat and the others in their place? _Sasha asked.

_Yep._

_Fine. But remember, it's only for a little while!_ Sasha said.

_Duly noted,_ Darkrai said eagerly.

Once again, Sasha felt herself starting to drowse off, a comforting blanket of darkness wrapping itself around her mind. Her eyes slowly shut as the jeers from Alberto and the acolytes faded away and turned into harmless white noise as she drifted off into slumber.

And once again, something else awoke in her place.

As some of her hair fell over the right side of her face, her left eye opened, now blue rather than red. Alberto froze in mid-taunt as that eye fixed him with its cold gaze, and he suddenly realized that he'd made a terrible, terrible mistake. "What was that about me being a fake and an old hag?" Sasha asked calmly in a voice that was, and at the same time was _not_, her voice.

"Oh no," the Lickilicky whispered.

"Oh _yes_," Sasha snarled with a fanged grin.

All the lights in the room flickered and went out, throwing the already very dim chamber into darkness, a darkness so thick that even those Pokémon who had night vision or knew spells to give them that ability found themselves unable to see anything even an inch away from their face. A few Pokémon started crying out in fear, and those cries turned into screams as the acolytes panicked and tried to make a break for it, only to crash into each other and tumble to the ground in a jumbled heap of bodies. As they realized they were not only blind but surrounded by countless others they couldn't see that they had no way of knowing were friends or foes, they started screaming more, which set everyone else off into an even greater panic, frenziedly thrashing about and yelling in terror as fear and darkness set in and began to drive them all mad.

"Hmmph. Putzes. They're scared of the dark but they call themselves my servants? Pathetic," the Sasha-that-was-not-Sasha sneered.

"Wh-what are you?" Alberto whispered in terror.

"I told you the first time, but you didn't believe me," the Sasha-that-was-not-Sasha said. "And now you'll pay the price for it." She hopped backwards, off of Alberto and onto the bloodstained altar, invisible like everything else in this unnatural darkness…invisible to everyone but her, that was. Her blue eye, the only point of light in the endless darkness, glowed, and her cloak writhed and came to life, its blackness deepening and darkening until it was so dark that the absence of light surrounding it was practically as bright as day. The darkness of her cloak shot upwards and spread out, manifesting in the form of a torso, head, and two arms, with long streamer-like shapes flowing from its shoulders and the top of its head. Much like Sasha, it had only one blue eye visible in its head, but this eye was the size of Sasha's own head and glowed like an otherworldly moon, bathing everyone in its malefic light while at the same time failing to make the darkness any less, well, dark.

"_D-D-DARKRAI!"_ someone shouted, and everyone started screaming again.

"Ah, are those cries of devotion I hear? Or terror? Eh, same difference to me. Still, it's good to get _something_ out of you failures at last," Sasha and the construct growing out of her back said simultaneously, the Darkrai avatar speaking a fraction of a second before its Absol host did, their voices overlapping eerily. It turned its eye away from the acolyes and focused its gaze on Alberto, who screamed and wept and soiled himself as that full baleful glare was fixated on him. "Now…what do I do with you?"

"P-please…don't kill me…" the Lickilicky sobbed pathetically.

"Kill you? Now there's an idea…after all, you insulted my High Priestess, are the leader of this place but have done an absolutely _shitty_ job of maintaining it or doing the job your duties require of you, and have been initiating Pokémon into your ranks by performing a twisted initiation ritual that involves you dressing them up as my beloved wife and banging and torturing them while dressed up as _me!_ Do you have any idea how grave an offense of that magnitude is, kid? Why _shouldn't_ I kill you? It's well within my right, and the world would certainly be a better place without you!" Darkrai said.

"I-I'm sorry! I won't do it again! I promise!" Alberto wailed, tears and snot running down his face.

"I believe you. Especially since I'm going to make sure you never get the chance to," Darkrai said, reaching towards the Lickilicky with a massive claw.

"No! NO! DON'T! _PLEASE! I'LL DO ANYTHING!" _Alberto screamed desperately, trying to stagger to his feet and run only to stumble and fall down again due to his inability to see anything besides that horrifying figure reaching for him.

"Sorry, but you've got nothing I'm interested in," Darkrai said as he wrapped his claws around Alberto and raised him into the air. "Don't worry, though…I'm not going to kill you. You might wish I _had_ by the time we're through, though." He squeezed the Lickilicky, and tendrils of darkness snaked out from his fingers and wrapped themselves around Alberto. The fat priest screamed in terror and desperately struggled to free himself as the dark mist wound itself around his rotund form, but it was to no avail. The darkness enveloped him, and he screamed and screamed and screamed…

And then Darkrai opened his claw, and he was gone. "Let that be a lesson to you all," he said to the horrified acolytes. "Most of the time, I'm a pretty nice guy, even if I do have a slightly twisted sense of humor. But piss me or my girl Sasha off, and death is going to be the _least_ of your worries. You got that?" There were a few mumbles and squeaks from the acolytes. Darkrai put a hand to the side of his head. "I can't hear you. What was that?"

"YES, LORD DARKRAI!" the acolytes all shrieked in unison.

"Good! Then I think we're through here," Darkrai said cheerfully as his projection started shrinking back into Sasha's cloak. "So, just do whatever Sasha tells you and everything should be fine. Oh, and don't worry about that fatass, I'll return him in a couple of days, though he might not be…quite the same as he was the last time you saw him. And on that enigmatic and ominous note, I'm out. Toodles!"

He disappeared, the lights turned back on, and the cloak was just a cloak once again. Sasha blinked and shook her head, her eyes back to their original color as return of her body was controlled to her. _There we go. All taken care of,_ Darkrai said as she tried to regain her bearings. _They're all yours!_

_That was a little…excessive, don't you think?_ Sasha asked blearily as she stared at the acolytes, who were all regarding her with looks of utter horror…and awe, and a little arousal in a few instances.

_Sometimes a strong show of force is necessary to win someone over,_ Darkrai said. _Isn't that what you were doing before?_

_Well, yes, I suppose, _Sasha admitted.

_There you go, then,_ Darkrai said cheerfully. _I just gave you a helping hand. You're welcome, by the way._

_Thank you, Master,_ she said quickly. _But, if I might ask…what did you do to that Lickilicky?_

_Weeeeelll…you know how I live on the dark side of the Moon, a nightmarish landscape inhabited by monsters that shun the light spawned from the deepest, most twisted corners of the subconscious dreaming mind and given life by my imagination and dark power, a land of horrors that would drive anyone not born there or not under my protection to utter gibbering madness if they spent even a few minutes there, gazing upon its abominations?_

_Yes?_

_Let's just say our little friend will be the first visitor to my side of the Moon from Fichina in quite some time… _Darkrai said malevolently.

…_You know, its times like this I have some difficulty convincing myself you're not evil,_ Sasha said flatly.

_Hey, I never said I was a nice guy. Besides, he had it coming. I'm not gonna torment him too much, just scare him straight. And make his skin as white as your fur._

_You're going to paint him white?_ Sasha asked in confusion.

_What? No, I'm going to terrify him so much that his skin turns white,_ Darkrai said.

_That can happen? _Sasha asked in bewilderment.

_Yeah. What, you've never heard that expression?_ Darkrai asked.

_Expression?_ Sasha asked cluelessly.

Darkrai sighed. _Oh, never mind…anyway, go and commune with your adoring public. You've got a lot of work ahead of you._

_As I can see quite well. What would you have me do first, Master?_ Sasha asked, gazing out across the defiled sanctuary, and the acolytes trembling before her, desperate for orders.

_Well, for starters…_

The next few days were some of the longest in Sasha's life, especially since she didn't stop to eat or sleep. (One of the benefits of her cloak, though Darkrai warned her that when she took it off she was going to crash, hence why she had resolved to keep wearing it until just after the wedding, so that she didn't have to worry about sleeping through Leo and Lily's union.) Following her master's will, she led the humbled acolytes in purifying the temple of their sins and depravities, using the power of her garments and title as High Priestess to force the often-recalcitrant structure to obey her wishes and remind it just who it belonged to, and that it couldn't be a rogue and lawless building anymore. Thanks to the tireless and exhaustive efforts of Sasha and her new minions (who she didn't let sleep either, Darkrai reasoning that if she had to stay up at all hours to work on fixing their mess, so should they), the temple and its priests were cleansed, reconstructed, and ready for business just before noon on the day before Leo and Lily's wedding.

The temple bore almost no resemblance whatsoever to its original form, due to having been reconfigured completely from the ground up through the power of magic and the authority granted to Sasha by her divine master. The temple grounds were no longer a barren and disordered garden of dead plants and fountains of blood with vulgar broken statues littering the place, instead it bore a more ordered layout with flower plots and paths laid out so they looked like disconcerting and somewhat frightening symbols from above psychologically designed to press several of the fear centers in an observer's mind to make them sweat and shiver. The plants were in full bloom, massive nests of brambles with eerily beautiful dark purple, black, and white flowers blossoming from their thorns, beds of beautiful and potentially poisonous flowers colored like stars in a night sky, roses with petals and stamen colored and shaped to look somewhat like Darkrai himself, and giant Pokémon-eating plants that were primordial throwbacks of carnivorous Grass-types like Victreebel, Carnivine, and Cradily sprouting here and there, bound by invisible wards that kept them from devouring passersby…not that Pokémon unfamiliar with them would know on first encounter that their frenzied snapping lunges were perfectly harmless jests. Dark Clefairies and other spirits and creatures of darkness and nightmares tended this garden, called back from their retirement by their master's will. Statues of Darkrai, Cresselia, former High Priests and Priestesses, and horrors and monsters (including weeping angels, since Darkrai was a fan of that show) were placed here and there. Some of them were animate and occasionally roamed the garden's obsidian paths, just to creep people out.

At the center of this garden was the temple itself, no longer a crumbling classical ruin but a completely reimagined structure capable of eliciting awe and wonder. The entire building was built from the finest black onyx, possibly all one piece even, and shaped like a huge black diamond balanced on its tip, with runic red lines zigzagging across its surface in fear-inducing patterns. Its top was a large white crystal ringed by jagged crimson crystals shining a beam of light into the center of the purple-black cloud of darkness always ominously hovering overhead. Identical but smaller diamonds orbited the structure, along with statues of Darkrai, Cresselia, and other monsters. There was no visible door or window leading into this awe-inspiring building, but teleport pads ringing its base allowed entry inside.

Stepping onto one of these pads would cause visitors to find themselves—after a far-too-long trip through hyperspace, where they would be forced to see all sorts of mind-numbing horrors while being completely paralyzed for a few seconds that would feel like hours—inside a courtyard beneath a starlit sky with a blood-red Moon floating overhead, even though there was no open-roofed area visible anywhere on the temple's exterior and the night sky was still present no matter what time of day it was. In contrast to the somewhat scary garden outside, the garden in this courtyard was actually somewhat nice. Several large sakura trees were sparsely planted here and there, and bushes of black orchids and white roses traced a path to the doors at the edge of the courtyard. Climbing vines covered the outer wall and out of reach of most people on either corner of the building sat large Pokémon-eating plants. A small river of red water ran all around the courtyard, but it was just colored water and not blood.

The largest door in this courtyard was made entirely of black volcanic glass with a silver knocker in the center with a ruby set in it. Through this door was a large chamber with several rows of tables made of volcanic glass. Platters made of ebony and silver adorned the tables, all laden with baked goods and cakes and such. From this lobby there were two paths. One was a set of stairs leading to a basement where children were taken to learn the temple craft in the service of Darkrai and how to best scare their friends and parents. The other was a hall leading to the main sanctuary. At the forefront was an altar to Darkrai, a large imposing slab cast out of silver beneath a huge and intimidating statue of Darkrai. Random bones littered the ground around it, as well as a small basin. Devoted patrons might offer something in this bowl, but Darkrai would not allow self-mutilation. Blood was acceptable as long as it was no more than a thimble full. Here was where Sasha or a direct underling would read from the Big Black Book, maybe speak in the old tongue, and pass around the thrice-damned wine. Near the wall also sat a smaller altar to Cresselia made of white gold, w ith a dignified and very beautiful statue of the lunar swan just behind it, framed by images of her and Darkrai's courtship and their love and duties performed together. There was also a skylight (again, despite being impossible for one to be there) usually enchanted to appear black, though it cleared on nights of the new moon.

Behind the main altar was a door that leads to the more restricted areas, places that only those who followed Darkrai might go. Behind this door were two staircases as well as a hidden one leading to personal quarters accessible only to the high priest or priestess. Out of the two visible staircases, one led down to the stores, the cellar and the dormitories, while upwards led to the poisonary (which was pretty much exactly what it sounded like), the crematorium, and the kitchens. The cellars were filled with the finest of the thrice-damned wine. The stores obviously held food supplies. The dormitory held rows of fire-blackened wood beds, none of which were currently being used. The room was enchanted to force nightmares from the sleepers, thus feeding Darkrai, which might be part of the reason for that.

As she prepared to depart to meet up with her friends at the Draconian Embassy, Sasha issued some last-minute orders to her underlings to keep them occupied in her absence. "I'm only going to be gone until the day after tomorrow at the latest, unless something else comes up," she informed the acolytes as she stood before them in the main sanctuary, the statue of Darkrai at her back and lending authority to her words. The Pokémon in front of her bore almost no resemblance to the ones she'd found when she'd stormed into their dance hall just a few days ago and turned their world upside-down. All of them were clad in black robes, with higher-ranked priests—of which there were only a very small handful, since only a couple had proven themselves worthy of that rank—wearing red collars to resemble their master. There wasn't a single trace of tattoos, piercings, makeup, hair dye, or ridiculous-looking cosmetics to be seen among their ranks, Sasha having confiscated all of them—forcefully, in some cases—and thrown them into a fire along with all their posters and music and trashy vampire romance novels. Their faces were sober, their eyes slightly deadened and hardened from the horrors they'd born witness to since the High Priestess had entered their lives, most of which had required almost no backing from Darkrai to make them that much more terrifying. "So unless something really important or significant happens, I am not to be bothered. Is that understood?"

"Yes, High Priestess," they all chanted in unison, sounding like a dirge.

"While I'm gone, I expect you to be on your best behavior," she continued sternly. "That means no parties, no drunken orgies, and _definitely_ not any poetry recitals. Despite what you might think, absolutely nobody cares to hear whatever you have tosayregarding your parents or how the 'Mon'—or rather, 'Womon' now—is 'getting you down.' You are all to demonstrate the proper conduct and gravitas that is to be expected from a member of Darkrai's clergy. The dark creatures and nightmares and spirits that have recently returned to the temple will be monitoring you and will report to me on your actions while I was away once I return, so don't bother trying to keep anything a secret or hidden from them, they _will_ know and they _will_ tell me. They're beings of dreams and shadow, and there is nothing they cannot find out if they put their minds to it. Also, don't try to get around them by ordering them to leave you alone; while they are technically bound to obey the priests of this temple, you have yet to prove yourselves truly worthy of that status, and until you have demonstrated that you deserve the power and responsibility of being one of Darkrai's chosen, they will be your superiors answerable only to me, rather than the other way around." Said servants of darkness, who had been lounging against the walls, grinned and rubbed their claws or tendrils or other appendages gleefully as they heard this, while the acolytes exchanged nervous glances. "However, they are forbidden to abuse this power, since many of them are still under probation seeing as how they're partly to blame for letting things get this bad by not stopping it when they still had a chance." The dark creatures grimaced at this, and a few of the acolytes sighed in relief.

"If you do well in my absence, and I am convinced you have truly learned something of what it means to be a servant of Darkrai, I will consider easing up on some of the more stringent restrictions I've laid upon you," Sasha continued. "That is not a promise, however, so don't think you can get off _that_ easily. You still have several years of sin and depravity to make up for, a few days of good behavior won't be enough to change that so quickly." The acolytes almost groaned in disappointment at this, but managed to stifle themselves just in time. Sasha nodded, hiding a smile at this. She had trained them well. "Oh, and I believe Baron Alberto should be returning from the Moon some time tomorrow, so make sure to have a room ready for him, as well as a certified psychiatrist. He's going to need it." Their eyes widened at this, but again the acolytes said nothing. "I believe that's everything. If I think of something else, I'll send you a message, though I probably won't need to, so don't wait up for me. The next time you see me, two of my best friends will be married. We can have a celebration, I suppose, but nothing as…gaudy as the parties you used to throw. If you behave, I _might_ consent to use of the thrice-damned wine…but don't count on it." The disappointed looks on their faces entertained her more than she'd thought they would. She idly wondered if the power of her position was starting to go to her head. All the more reason for her to take off her robes at her first opportunity, she supposed. "And with that, we're through. I will depart now. Bad dreams to all of you, and praise Darkrai."

"Praise Darkrai," the acolytes chanted fearfully, glancing at the big statue behind Sasha with worry on their faces. Which was silly, because if Darkrai was angry at them he wasn't going to animate the statue and have it attack them. No, he'd do something _much_ scarier.

_You've done a pretty good job whipping them into shape,_ Darkrai complimented Sasha as she trotted out of the sanctuary, several shadows unattached to any visible Pokémon trailing behind her.

"I've raised my children and helped to raise theirs. Disciplining immature and poorly-behaved youths is something I'm intimately familiar with," Sasha said.

_Heh, so I see. I'm starting to wonder if maybe I should have you posted here permanently once this is all over_, Darkrai said.

Sasha frowned. "I thought that you'd promised I could go home once this is all over."

_I did. Of course, if I arranged for your family to be moved here, then Fichina would be your home, wouldn't it?_

"Master…" Sasha growled.

_Just joshing you. I'm not gonna tear you from your harsh, merciless wintry home for a life of luxury and privilege if that's not what you want,_ Darkrai assured her.

"Thank you, Master. I appreciate it," Sasha said.

_Yeah, I know,_ Darkrai said in amusement.

Sasha stepped out into a long, hollow chamber terminating in an opening staring out at New Avalon. It looked like some sort of hangar, or launch bay, except there was nothing present to fly out of it. That changed when the air just to Sasha's right rippled and tore open, a swirling portal of darkness appearing that discharged an ominous chariot black as night with spiked wheels and Zubat wings growing from the back, pulled by a pair of fanged gray Rapidash with yellow eyes, pitch-black armor, Golbat wings, and manes and tail made of purple-black flames of darkness. Sasha made a face as the (literal) nightmares snorted and whinnied and pawed the ground, flames billowing from their nostrils. "Is it really necessary I ride in this conveyance? I could just as easily walk. Or take a cab."

_You're my High Priestess, which means you've got a certain image to cultivate,_ Darkrai said.

"And that includes me being carted around in a transport that looks like it's fresh from one of Leo's video games or fantasy novels?" Sasha asked skeptically.

_Yep._

Sasha sighed, reluctantly giving in. "Oh, very well. If I must." She walked over to the chariot and hopped inside. Despite herself, she had to admit it was actually quite comfortable, the interior was plush and felt wonderful to lie down in and give her poor legs, which had been carrying her all over the place without stop for the last several days, a much-needed rest. "So, what now?"

_Tell Sunshine Smiles and Frolicsome Meadowlark where to go, and they'll take you there,_ Darkrai said.

There was a long, long pause. "Did…did you just say their names were-" Sasha started.

_It was Cressy's idea, okay?!_ Darkrai snapped, clearly embarrassed. _Thought it would be ironic, and make them seem less intimidating…ugh, I swear, that womon…_

"Right," Sasha said, knowing by now not to get involved in her master's…unusual relationship with his wife. She certainly didn't understand it; her marriage was much simpler than Darkrai's. She told her mate they were going to do something, and that's exactly what happened, with no fuss or arguing. She wondered how Cresselia tolerated this constant talking back from her husband. She should have laid down the law and made it clear who was really in charge millennia ago. (Not that she'd ever say as much to Darkrai, of course. She wasn't stupid.) "Well, um…Sunshine Smiles and Frolicsome Meadowlark, take me to the Draconian Embassy, I'm due to meet my friends."

"As you wish, Mistress!" the Rapidash boomed in unison. They reared back and howled like Mightyena, spreading their wings and flailing their forelegs in the air, before slamming their hooves back onto the ground hard enough to crack it and started running down the long corridor, sparks flying from their hooves and from the wheels of the chariot as it clattered against the floor.

Sasha could hear chittering and the rustling of wings behind her, and glanced over her shoulder to see that a flock of nightgaunts was flying in her wake, their membranous wings propelling them gracefully through the air. She wondered briefly what they were doing, but didn't have time to verbalize it before her escort leaped through the opening at the end of the hall and into the air, flapping their wings and continuing to move their legs in a running motion as they charged through the skies as easily as if they were still on the ground, effortlessly pulling Sasha behind them. Behind Sasha, the nightgaunts exploded from the hangar and swarmed through the air, rising above the temple and circling the beacon of light rising into the dark cloud in a howling, shrieking mass of horns and barbs and wings. "Are they out for a flight, or is this more of that 'image' thing?" Sasha asked as her chariot flew away from the temple.

_A little of column A, a little of column B_, Darkrai said.

"Hmm. I thought as much," Sasha commented. "Well, at least I don't have to deal with a cloak made of Swoobats or anything like that."

_Actually, you could probably make your robes do that if you wanted_- Darkrai started.

"No," Sasha said.

_All right, just a thought,_ Darkrai said.

Rolling her eyes, Sasha turned forwards so she could look out at the city as they galloped through the skyways winding their way through New Avalon's towering skyscrapers, other vehicles and flyers weaving out of the way to stay as far from her or her monstrous steeds-which didn't seem particularly keen on following traffic regulations-as possible.

Sasha didn't care much. She had more important things to look forward to. Her friends, their families, and the wedding tomorrow, awaited her.

…

Elsewhere in New Avalon…

If you didn't know where it was, one could easily be mistaken for thinking the Temple of Heatran didn't exist. Considering it wasn't quite as ostentatious or easily visible as the great temples on the mountains surrounding New Avalon, the temple of Arceus floating in the sky, or even the newly refurbished Temple of Darkrai, this wasn't too hard to imagine. Nevertheless, in spite of its unobtrusive nature, the god of the Earth and metal and blacksmithing had a temple in New Avalon like most of the other legendary deities, it was just a little trickier to locate than most of the others.

The reason for this was simple: it was located underground, and the entrance wasn't much more than an ornate archway with a metal relief of Heatran's face above it planted in the side of one of the mountains the city of New Avalon was nestled between. Beyond this archway was a rather small antechamber with a circular stone platform covered in a metal lattice with various runes engraved into its surface. All a Pokémon had to do was step (or float, in Briney's case) onto the platform and, with a slightly ominous rumble, it would descend into the Earth, passing through a vertical shaft whose walls were covered in elaborate and beautiful metal statues, carvings, and reliefs depicting the history of New Avalon, Fichina, the world, and the Omniverse itself, with more recent events being placed further down the shaft. These metal works of art were constantly being tended to by Magnemites, Durants, Ferroseeds, Beldums, Bronzors, and Klinks. As Briney descended the shaft, he noted, with some pride, that the recent exploits of he and his friends was being added to a new panel very close to the top of the shaft. "Keep up the good work, lads," the Metang called to the acolytes, who paused in their work to turn and bow reverently to him. "And just so you know, my mustache is nicer than that."

"Oh, we know, Most Honored Captain," one of the Bronzors spoke up as the other hovering Steel-types regarded Briney's mustache in awe. "But your facial hair is so magnificent that even our best attempts to recreate it through magic and metalwork fall flat to its sheer perfection."

"Yeah, it is pretty damn fine, isn't it?" Briney said in amusement, stroking his mustache and causing some of the acolytes to sigh in wonder and envy. "Eh, keep at it, lads, I have every confidence you can make a reasonably good facsimile if you really work at it."

"Oh, we will, Captain, you can be most assured of that!" the Bronzor said fervently.

"Heh, I'm sure you will. I look forward to seeing it once this is all done," Briney said.

"We promise you, it will be the best work we have ever crafted!" the Bronzor promised.

"I'll keep you to it," Briney said as he continued down the shaft, leaving the acolytes to get back to work, murmuring excitedly to themselves about how awesome the legendary Captain was and how desperately they wished they could have facial hair even half as lustrous as Briney's. There was no way the girls would turn down someone with a mustache like that!

After traveling for what seemed like miles beneath the surface of New Avalon (hey, they had a lot of history to cover, they needed a lot of space to store it all in!) but actually was only a few hundred feet due to the shaft really being another example of the Fichinan's remarkable ability to cram ridiculous amounts of space into relatively small areas, Briney's platform emerged from the ceiling of a massive subterranean chamber that looked as if it were big enough to comfortably fit the Arachnoblast or even one of those Colossi at the country's borders, though it might have to bend down a little to keep from hitting its head on the ceiling. It had been carved into a great hall, with metal pillars the size of skyscrapers supporting the arched ceiling, flying buttresses and Meowthwalks and gratings of immaculate metal filigree crisscrossing the giant columns and adding artistry to their great dark bulk. The pillars arose from a great roiling sea of molten lava covering the floor of the chamber, the heat emanating from the liquid rock so great that even with numerous incredibly thick force fields layered over the surface the cavern was still swelteringly hot. Channels spiraled up the exteriors of the giant pillars, and lava was being pumped up these channels through magical means, defying gravity as it flowed up the sides of the columns and through the ceiling, where it was used to provide geothermal power to some portions of the city. Numerous aqueducts, pipes, and even free-floating lava rivers branched off from various parts of the great lava channels, diverting lava from the main flows to various parts of the temple to provide power and material for many of the fantastic contraptions that were constructed here, for this temple was as much a place of worship as it was a foundry used to create some of the most remarkable works of art, the most spectacular and imaginative vehicles, and the deadliest weapons of war in the history of Fichina. Quite a few of the Colossi, or parts of them, had been constructed in this temple and others like it all over Fichina, and now that Fichina was going to war the old furnaces and engines of destruction were being fired up again in preparation for the campaign against the Nihilators.

Briney looked on in awe, and a little trepidation, as his platform moved past aqueducts and conveyor belts holding huge buckets of molten metal funneling lava and other raw materials into giant molds hanging from great cranes jutting from the sides of the pillars and the chamber's stone walls, where the various acolytes and smiths who worked in the temple would enchant the magical metal as it cooled and hardened so that when it was safe to remove from the mold, whatever warship or weapon they had created would be fully operational and ready for battle. As he watched, one such mold split open to reveal a fully-formed battleship a little over twice the size of the _Peeko XII_ resembling a long, sleek giant sword with glowing horn-shaped wings forming the 'hilt' and an ominous giant red gem for a command center looking out across the flat rune-engraved surface of its blade. Energy coursing through the runic lines carved into its surface, the sword-ship floated away from the mold and inverted itself to hang from a rack running along one of the walls by its pommel-shaped engine right next to several dozen nearly identical sword-ships, while the mold that had birthed it closed back up, more molten metal being poured into it as the acolytes prepared it for use once again.

A veritable city of multi-leveled metal rafts and walkways and platforms wound its way around the circumferences of the pillars and just above the surface of the lava, hundreds of Fire and Steel-type Pokémon running about working on forges and furnaces, the deafening ring of metal on metal and the roar of flames filling the cavern as the metalworkers poured their considerable skill into constructing and assembling weapons of war. Countless smaller battleships and automata and golems resembling miniature Colossi or giant robots of the kind that Leo would gush over were already taking form on the factory floor, numerous gantries and Meowthwalks and scaffolds winding their way around their exterior and allowing the acolytes to scurry back and forth across their surfaces, sparks flying as they used their magic and metalworking tools to bring their mighty creation to completion. The eyes of one of these mechanical monsters flickered to life as it came online prematurely and it lurched to life, shattering the framework surrounding it and sending several of the screaming workers falling towards the metal floor below. Briney clenched his fists, preparing to leap in and help out, but when several mages wearing the robes of senior acolytes ran up and started blasting the rogue golem with lightning bolts and smaller automata rushed over to restrain their larger kin, the Metang relaxed, figuring they had everything under control. He glanced down at the floor around the machine, and was relieved to see that the workers all seemed to be okay; most of them were Steel-types, so knew how to take a fall.

As he passed over this workplace tableau, he witnessed more and more warships being produced from molds and other automata being brought to life and marching over to stand to attention in ranks with dozens of identical golems, mages on walkways levitating massive weapons into their grips and arming them for battle. He grimaced briefly, finding himself glad that Fichina wasn't interested in taking over the world, or else the Nihilators might have some competition on their hands. This notion was reinforced as he left the factory floor behind him and passed between the ranks of a half-dozen or so metal automata so massive that they could destroy entire cities on their own sunk up to their waists in the lava, pounding and chiseling great slabs of metal on massive anvils with instruments and tools about the size of the _Peeko XII_ and creating such a clamor that he was starting to get a headache. He wondered how the metalworkers here could stand all the noise. Maybe they had some sound-dampening magic? Or maybe they'd just gone deaf long ago and didn't even notice. He'd never worked in a smithy when he was younger—he'd been a sailor born and true since he'd been a pair of Beldum—and while he respected and was fascinated by the work being done here, he had no wish to participate in it.

That didn't mean he didn't have reason to come here, however…

As his platform passed between the ranks of the giant golem smiths, Briney reached his destination: a gargantuan metal statue of Heatran so big it towered over even the great automata before it, its crest scraping the ceiling. Briney had inquired as to whether or not this thing could be animated too the first time he'd come down here, and had been told that if it couldn't now, it soon would be, something he was not entirely reassured by. The statue's mouth was open, revealing a huge pool of lava boiling inside of it, causing an eerie orange glow to emanate from it as well as from its eyes due to more gravity-defying channels transporting lava throughout the great sculpture's interior.

As Briney's platform flew into the mouth of the giant Heatran, more details of its interior could be seen despite the way the air shimmered due to the intense heat, heat so great that Briney was starting to worry he might start melting despite the safety enchantments surrounding the platform. The roof of the statue's mouth was covered in lava channels and carvings depicting great events in the life of the Lava Dome Pokémon, including his birth, his marriage to Shaymin, and his taking the role of god of the land from Groudon after that great beast proved himself no longer worthy of the title. Beneath these carvings were two islands rising from the surface of the lava, connected by a bridge made of metal grating. One was made of metal and stone with a large altar shaped like an anvil set in its middle. The other…didn't look like it belonged here at all. It was a beautiful verdant land mass covered in flowers and trees of many vibrant colors surrounding a small shrine with a statue of Shaymin in its center, the statue's back an actual bush covered in Gracidea flowers. This incongruous landscape in a place of fire and steel was possible only through the miracle of magic and the power of Shaymin's love for her husband, a love strong enough to allow her flowers to bloom even in this infernal cavern.

The platform lowered itself to the edge of the island of metal and stone, and Briney hovered off of it. Here, the cacophony from the main part of the temple was drowned out by the thick metal walls of Heatran's mouth, but this sanctuary was far from silent. There was still the ever-present roar of fire from the lava bubbling around them, and the ringing of metal against metal as the chamber's sole occupant other than Briney hammered the metal it had placed atop the anvil-shaped altar. It was this figure that Briney had traveled to see. "Ahoy, Smithy," the Metang called to the other Pokémon. "How goes it?"

The other Pokémon, Smithy, slammed his hammer against the metal he was working on one last time then laid it down for a rest, wiping oily sweat from his brow. "Ahoy, Briney. As good as it can be, with all these constant interruptions from whippersnappers like you," he said good-naturedly, offering Briney a smirk as he floated away from his anvil to greet the other Metang.

That's right, Smithy was a Metang. He was slightly bigger and much older than Briney, his body covered with so many nicks and scratches and dents and scars that he put Briney's own proud trophies of battle to shame. He wore a pair of fingerless red gloves on his claws with studded metal bracers to protect his hands when he was working with the often dangerous materials his duties as Chief Smith and High Priest of Heatran's temple required him to deal with. In fact, he'd lost almost his entire left arm once in an accident a few centuries ago back when he was still a novice, but had been made to build himself a new arm from scratch rather than finding another Beldum to bond with. Much like Briney, he had facial hair made from finely polished metal, but where Briney had focused on growing an impressive mustache, Smithy had been content instead to make a thick beard with so many sleek curls and pleats it could easily be mistaken for actual hair at first glance, reminiscent of Santa Christ's famous beard. A yellow star had been welded to his forehead, between a pair of bladed eyebrows that would have been considered bushy if they weren't made of metal rather than hair, and he wore a six-pointed gold crown on his head, since everyone knew if you were the leader and most important individual of a group you had to have the nicest hat to prove it, something Briney thoroughly agreed with although he privately felt his own hat was better. So was his mustache, of course, though he had to admit Smithy's beard was pretty nice, but he didn't think it would be very good in a fight, hence why he hadn't bothered to grow his own out very much. Much like Briney, Smithy was also missing an eye and wore an eye patch over it, but unlike Briney it was his right eye that was missing, not his left. He could have replaced it long ago much like his arm, but chose not to because he thought he looked more badass this way, something else that Briney could respect.

He respected a lot of things about Smithy, actually, which was fairly new for him. Most Pokémon that were physically stronger than him Briney considered as rivals or annoyances. Smithy, on the other hand, he didn't mind so much. He wasn't sure why. Maybe it was because Smithy seemed a lot like Briney himself, albeit several hundred years older, old enough for him to actually call _Briney_ a 'whippersnapper,' a term Briney usually found insulting but again didn't mind so much from this older, wiser, more grizzled and experienced reflection of himself. The elder Metang had been in Heatran's temple for most of his prolonged life, and spent most of it that didn't involve metalwork and blacksmithing going out into the more dangerous reaches of Fichina looking for rare minerals and materials to use in his craft, fighting all sorts of monsters and legendary creatures the likes of which might even give Briney a pause, but not a very long one.

They'd first met a few days ago while Briney was wandering New Avalon looking for something to do with himself. For his part in fighting the Nihilator battle fleet and testifying in the 97,547th session of the Fichinan Grand Council, he and the others had become instant celebrities, invited to major parties and social events all over the city and out in the countryside. Briney had attended a few of them at first, only to find himself feeling woefully out of place in the finery and fancy halls, mansions, and art galleries the get-togethers had taken place in. The Captain was a rough-and-tumble sort, who didn't really have much of a place in high society. He'd enjoyed telling stories of his exploits to the aristocratic guests of these parties, but they always seemed to be somewhat put off by the relish he took in describing how he violently dispatched his foes, and slowly his listeners had started peeling off to find someone less unsavory to fawn over, leaving Briney alone to nurse his drink, which was admittedly excellent, if a little too rich for his taste.

It hadn't helped that almost none of his friends had been able to attend these parties—or spend much time with him at all, really-what with Ash and Tiny doing Aura training, Leo and Lily planning their wedding at the Yukihimi estate, Pikachu and Dawn training with Daimyo Leeku and Kairyu, and Sasha doing Arceus-knew-what at Darkrai's temple. Most of the friends he'd made on the Enchanted Express weren't really available to hang out with, either. Team Getem had departed soon after the big council meeting so they could continue their fight against Judgment, the vampires were constantly being mobbed by screaming teenage fangirls, Looker had left to report to his superiors in the International Police, Cherry and Rebecca had gone off to do spiritual oracular stuff he didn't pretend to understand, Sam and Outlaw had driven off to start pursuing Max, George had up and left for some reason, and Bruno had decided to go out into the countryside to beat up monsters. The Goldorringtons, whom Briney had admittedly gotten somewhat close to, had invited him to Buck's grandparents', where they were currently staying, and while it was nice to see some familiar and relatively friendly faces, he hadn't felt much more comfortable at the Goldorrington family estate than he had at the fine banquets and parties in the city, though he'd surprised himself by retaining enough tact not to say as much to their faces. The Fantasmas were nice to hang out with but most of them were busy helping Fichina gear up for the invasion of Mars to spend much time with him, and most of the events they invited him to, while being admittedly somewhat more in the vein of the parties Briney preferred, were uncomfortable to him for…other reasons. There was only room in his heart for one womon, and while Mewrian celebrations offered plenty of no-strings-attached 'rendezvouses,' Briney couldn't in good faith accept any of the offers he received there, since it felt like it would be betraying Peeko. And so, as a result, while most of his friends were out there having all sorts of interesting adventures and getting stronger, Briney found himself almost completely alone.

He was aware that part of his feeling lonely and discontent was his own fault, and that if he voiced his feelings to his friends they'd make more of an effort to include him in what they were doing, but Briney was a stubborn old cuss and never one to burden his problems on anyone else, preferring to deal with it himself if at all possible. He'd spent too long relying on nobody other than himself, and the idea of going to others for help still rankled him a little. So, with that in mind, he'd done his best to occupy himself in other ways. He'd wandered around New Avalon and the surrounding countryside, seeing the sights and visiting all the big landmarks and parks and museums and palaces and other scenic and historic vistas he'd read about before they'd left Treasure Town. He'd taken boats out to sea to see what the waters around Fichina were like, going as far as the marine Colossi before coming back, even going underwater at some points to visit the seafloor villages and settlements built beneath the surface of the ocean. But while those were all fun times, and he'd felt somewhat more at home going out on a ship again even if it wasn't his own, it hadn't made him any less lonely. If anything, it'd only made him feel worse, since it reminded him of how he had planned to take Peeko and their child here one day, and it wasn't nearly as much fun exploring this magical land by himself, without the Pokemon he loved at his side. He'd chided himself angrily at this, frustrated with his inability to enjoy himself while surrounded by paradise, a wonderland of fantasy and enchantment beyond his wildest dreams…yet still not enough to fill the hole in his heart.

And then he'd met Smithy.

After a magnificent but ultimately disappointing excursion to some of the islands near New Avalon, where he'd been treated to an admittedly splendid feast and eye-catching dancing from the natives, he'd gone to a pub near the docks—familiar territory for a sailor like himself—to see if he couldn't drink himself into a stupor and forget his sorrows, when he'd encountered the elder Metang, also drinking after a long day of hard work in the temple foundry. Naturally, the two hard-edged veterans took an immediate disliking to each other due to their similar personalities and temperaments, and had a drinking contest. Briney lost. Then they had an arm-wrestling match. Briney lost that, too. Then they had a knock-down beat-up brawl out back. Briney lost that as well.

After that, naturally, they became the best of friends. New Avalon was a beautiful city, but not really a place where ugly mons with ugly insides and as much blood on their hands as either of the two Metang did really felt like they belonged. In each other they found a kindred spirit, and over the next few days grew closer as they drank and caroused and regaled each other with stories of past exploits into the early hours of the morning, venting their frustrations and bonding and all in all having a good time with each other. Such a good time together, in fact, that Briney had eventually felt comfortable asking the other Metang for a favor…

"So, what've you come down here to bother me with today? There's only so many hours in the day for me to work, and I'll need all of them if I'm going to get all the commissions the city's demanded from me done in time, on top of the little…project you convinced me to waste some of my talents on," Smithy groused as he and Briney clasped hands.

As always, they squeezed their fists, fighting for dominance. As always, Briney found himself losing the fight, the elder Metang's strength overwhelming his own. _I'll get him one day,_ Briney thought through gritted teeth as he drew back his hand, doing his best not to shake it in pain. "That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about, old-timer," Briney said. "How much longer until you'll be done with it?"

"Hmm…tomorrow or the day after, I should think," Smithy said, shooting a glance at the object he'd been working with on the nearby altar.

Briney's eye widened in disbelief. "What?! That's too late! The wedding's tomorrow! You can't give someone their wedding present a day after they get married, it's impolite, and makes it seem like you couldn't be bothered to give it to them on time like everyone else!"

Smithy shrugged apathetically. "Well, that's your problem, not mine."

"_My_ problem?! You're the one making the present!" Briney protested.

"And you're the one who's giving it to them, and was insistent it had to be something I made rather than just going out to a store and doing the sensible thing of _buying_ a wedding present like everyone else," Smithy pointed out.

"Captain Thaddeus Irving Briney does not simply _purchase_ wedding presents like everyone else!" Briney scoffed. "He goes out of his way to get something truly unique and special for the occasion…and you're the best craftsmon in the entire city, if not all of Fichina. If I'm going to get these two a present that shows just how much they….how much they mean to me, it can't be something you just get from a store. It has to be something they'll appreciate for the rest of their lives…something that tells them the good old Captain treats his shipmates right, and that they can always count on him…"

Smithy regarded Briney for a long moment, eyebrow raised. "…You really care about those two kids, don't you?"

"If I didn't, I wouldn't be having you do this, would I?" Briney grunted.

"You tell them that?" Smithy asked.

"No," Briney grunted. "It's not something I should _need_ to tell them. It's something that should be self-evident…and if it's not already, it will be after tomorrow."

Smithy chuckled. "Heheheh. You're too much like me for your own good, junior."

"Yeah, yeah…" Briney grumbled.

Smithy sighed and glanced at the anvil again. "…It'll be tight, but if I work through the night and delegate some of my other jobs to my apprentices, I should have it ready by tomorrow morning. I can bring it by the Fantasma estate if you like, or meet you at the Yukihimi place just before the wedding. Which would you prefer?"

Briney frowned in thought. "The Yukihimi place. That'll also give you as much time as you need to finish it, since the wedding won't start until…about noon, which'll give you another few hours in case you need them."

"I won't, but I'll take them anyway," Smithy said. "A mon's got to sleep sometime, after all."

"Just so long as you don't oversleep, old-timer," Briney said.

"Ha! I've never been late to work a day in my life," Smithy bragged.

"This isn't work, this is a wedding. Set your alarm clock," Briney said.

Smithy rolled his eye. "Fine, fine…not even sure I have an alarm clock…"

"What's keeping you so busy that you haven't had this thing finished already, anyway?" Briney asked. "I thought you promised me this would take top priority."

Smithy gave Briney an incredulous look and pointed outside Heatran's mouth. "Did you not see what's going on outside? All our production lines have been turned over to building weapons and ships for the war effort. Our furnaces are burning twenty-four seven, and we're churning out a new weapon every ten minutes, and we may have to _double_ that if we're going to meet the quota General Victini issued us in time for the invasion. Not that I really understand why we need it all, given that Victini's the Goddess of _Victory_, meaning we're pretty much guaranteed a win so long as she's on our side, so what's the point in building such a massive army in the first place?"

Briney shrugged. "Better safe than sorry, I suppose. Besides, as Leo would say—and I concur—you can never have too many weapons."

"Ha! Got that right," Smithy chortled in amusement. "After all, a significant portion of my revenue comes from making weapons. I must have helped forge at least an eighth of the legendary weapons currently in use by heroes of Fichina, and it looks like by the time this war is over I'll have upped that fraction to at least a fourth, if not a third!"

"Does it bother you much that so many of the things you create are used to kill?" Briney asked.

"No. Why, should it?" Smithy asked in puzzlement.

"I dunno. Some people might think so. Not me, though," Briney said.

Smithy shrugged. "Pokemon are going to fight each other no matter what we do. It's in our nature. Sometimes we kill each other, sometimes we don't, but one way or another fighting's in our blood. Even if I didn't make weapons, they'd still find ways to fight each other, so I might as well make a profit off of their conflict since it's inevitable."

"Heh. Rather opportunistic of you," Briney commented.

"A mon's gotta feed himself somehow," Smithy said.

"And you don't get enough already from being head honcho of the temple?" Briney asked.

"A little extra cash on the side never hurts," Smithy said. Briney, currently in the possession of a massive horde of pirate booty himself, could see the logic in this. "So, seeing as how you've actually fought a Nihilator fleet, tell me: do you think our boys stand a chance with what we're whipping up down here?"

Briney snorted. "I've been blowing up Nihilator bases single-handed for over a decade, and my pals and I wiped out that fleet with no backup and no fancy weapons other than the Enchanted Express and that transforming car of Sam's. If anything, I think we're more than ready."

"Didn't an army from another evil organization show up to lend a hand?" Smithy asked skeptically.

"Bah, we didn't need their help," Briney said dismissively. "We'd have taken care of the Nihilators without them, especially given their proclivity for friendly fire. The idiots were more of a danger to themselves than they ever were to us. The fact that we only suffered one real casualty while they lost…hell, I don't even know how many just goes to show they don't stand a chance."

"Well, that's good to hear," Smithy said. "So, anything else you wanted to see me about, or did you just come here to waste more of my precious time?"

"Get back to work, old-timer. I'm going to need that wedding present in time for tomorrow, and at your age you need all the sleep you can get, so you should see to finishing it as soon as possible," Briney said.

Smithy laughed as he floated back to the anvil and picked up his hammer. Briney'd once tried to lift it, only to find it so heavy that he couldn't even raise it off the floor. He'd tried to salvage his ego by deciding it was one of those mystical artifacts that 'only the chosen could wield' like Pikachu's sword, only for an amused Smithy to tell him that no, it really _was_ that heavy and Briney just wasn't strong enough to pick it up. Briney had not been happy to hear this. He didn't like anyone telling him he was weaker than he should be. "You've got a way with words, young'un. If I didn't like you so much, I'd probably have ripped your arm off and beaten you half to death with it by now."

"Wouldn't be the first time," Briney said wryly.

"Heheh, same here," Smithy chuckled as he started pounding on the metal he was working with again. "Well, I'm sure they'll appreciate it…though I'm not quite sure I see the necessity of it, myself."

Briney bristled. "And just what's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, do you really _need_ to give them a present? I mean, you're the one who's officiating the wedding and marrying the two of them! Don't you think that's good enough?" Smithy asked.

Briney glanced away, abashed. When Lily and Leo had announced their engagement, every religious institution in Fichina had been clambering to provide wedding services for the couple, the prospect of hosting the union between two of Fichina's currently most-talked about heroic celebrities and the new head of the restored Yukihimi house too big for them to resist. Even Fantina, who respected Lily's choice and freedom, had been hinting a little too strongly that she would really enjoy a good old-fashioned Mewrian wedding. Similarly, Nuken had been strongly implying that a Dragonian wedding might be in their best interests. Somewhat desperate to cut through the political hullaballoo, the young couple had asked (begged, really) for Briney to perform the wedding instead. As a ship's captain, he had the authority to marry anyone he wished, and he wasn't technically part of any religious institution so he didn't have to worry about stepping on any priestly toes. None of the temples of New Avalon had been pleased with this, but since it meant none of their rivals were going to get to host the wedding either, they'd reluctantly acquiesced. Fantina had been disappointed she couldn't show Lily a 'really good time' but gave the Misdreavus her blessings and started sneaking aphrodisiacs into the room where they'd be having their first night as a married couple together. Nuken had been rather frustrated his daughter wasn't going to be married in the Dragonian way, but reluctantly acknowledged (after several hours of arguing with Missy) that she had the right to choose how she went about getting married, something Lily had been very relieved to hear. And Briney…

Briney was flabbergasted. Out of everyone in New Avalon, heck, all of Fichina, they could have gone to to get married, they came to him? Ol' Captain Briney? He had been shocked, confused, alarmed, and more than a little touched. While he knew that at least part of the reason they'd picked him was to expedite the wedding and get the temples off their backs, the fact that they'd chosen him of all Pokemon to cement the bond of love between the two of them had been one of the most astounding and heartwarming signs of trust and respect he'd ever experienced. It had taken a great deal of effort not to cry when they told him just how much they wanted him, one of their closest and most trusted friends, to bring them together as husband and wife. After several hard drinks and taking a long, steady look in the mirror he'd resolved to make this the best damn wedding his shipmates would ever have, and had spent the last few days leading up to the big occasion sobering up, reading up on his rites, and pestering Smithy to make the perfect wedding gift for the couple.

"For anyone else, perhaps," Briney said. "But not me. And not Leo and Lily. I hadn't realized just how much I meant to those kids until they asked me to officiate their wedding. And while marrying them will be the perfect way for me to reward their faith in me, faith I'm not entirely certain I deserve given how much I belittle Leo or Ash and keep snooping in everyone's minds, I want to give them something special to show them just how much they mean to _me_…something it's taken longer for me to realize than it should have."

"You can say that again," Smithy commented, earning him a glare from the younger Metang. "A fair enough answer. Don't worry, I promise this'll be something they deserve."

"Thanks," Briney said. "I appreciate that."

"And I appreciate how much you're paying me to get this done!" Smithy said seriously. "Though it'll be harder for me to get it finished in time with all these distractions…"

Briney rolled his eye. "Fine, fine, I get the hint. I'll leave you to it." He turned to leave…

"Wait," Smithy said, pausing in his work. "Before you go, I need to ask: have you given my offer any further thought?"

Briney froze. "Your offer?"

"Yes, you know, my offer for the two of us to fuse together into a Metagross?" Smithy asked.

Briney fidgeted, not meeting the other Metang's eye. Just as it took two Beldum combining to create a Metang, two Metang were necessary to create a Metagross, the peak of that evolutionary line. Metagross possessed nearly impervious metal skin and almost unstoppable mental powers. They were incredibly difficult to defeat, and if a Metang as strong as Briney were to evolve into one, there was no telling what limits his newfound powers would be able to reach…

But this power came with a price. He couldn't evolve on his own. As previously noted, he would need another Metang to fuse with to become a Metagross. And that would mean the resulting super-Pokemon wouldn't really be Briney at all, but a new Pokemon with the combined memories of himself and whoever he'd fused with. Briney as he knew himself might very well cease to exist. He'd be dead, and someone else would wake up in his body, and while it might still be him, it wouldn't really be…well, _him._ It'd be the other guy, too. And that wasn't something Briney felt completely comfortable with, for while he wasn't afraid of dying and fully expected to lose his life at some point after this adventure—or even during it—he didn't really want to end his life this way. It disturbed him, least of all because it meant he'd have to open his mind up completely to someone else to accommodate the physical and mental meld…and while Briney had no compunctions with poking around in other Pokemon's heads, he did not like anyone else inside his own mind, as hypocritical as that sounded. His mind and his body were two of the only things left that he felt he could absolutely rely on, and fusing into a Metagross would mean having to give up both of those…and while he liked and respected Smithy a lot, he wasn't sure if he trusted the other Metang, or _anyone_ else for that matter, enough to do something like that.

On the other hand…the power was tempting. _Very_ tempting. Briney's pride didn't really allow for others to be stronger than himself, so naturally he found the concept of Smithy being that much more powerful than him more than a little frustrating. To take that strength and make it his own…not only would it go a long way towards salvaging his ego, but it would certainly come in handy against the Nihilators. He hated to admit it, but he wasn't as strong as he wanted to be. It had taken a lot of effort to defeat the frost giant in Dusty Ditch, and he'd only been able to manage it with help from a lot of other Pokemon. Additionally, he'd been able to do jack-all to Lugia. Even throwing his strongest moves at the corrupted god, with the help of the Goldorringtons and Bow, they'd still been unable to even scratch him. Smithy, on the other hand, claimed he'd once gotten into an argument with Kyurem and actually managed to deal the ice dragon a blow so strong it broke its jaw. It had also broken his own fist, but he'd just built another replacement. The point was, Briney wasn't certain he could manage such a feat on his own, but with Smithy's strength backing up his fists…then even Oblivion's Shadow might have trouble facing off against him. It would certainly be a big asset to Ash when they inevitably fought the diabolical mastermind once they got to Mars, whenever that was. And while Briney valued his individuality and his life, he valued his friends as well…and he was not the kind of mon to leave his shipmates hanging. It was poor conduct for a captain of his stature.

"I'm…not too keen on it," he muttered after a moment.

Smithy grunted. "Scares you that much, does it?"

"I'm scared of nothing!" Briney snapped, which was a bald-faced lie. "I just…I don't know."

"What's not to know? You need to be stronger if you're going to beat the Nihilators, and evolving with me will make you stronger. Seems simple enough to me," Smithy said.

"And who's to say I need your help? There are other ways I can get stronger…" Briney growled.

"Not as fast or as effectively as if we combined. You know that as well as I do," Smithy said.

"Well, what if I don't need to get stronger? We've done a pretty good job fighting the Nihilators as we are now, and the next time we run into them we'll have a huge army backing us," Briney pointed out.

"So what? You know as well as I do it doesn't hurt to be overwhelmingly stronger than your enemy. Doesn't matter what kind of fancy tactics you're using, if you've got enough raw power behind you, in the end that's all you need to win," Smithy said, which was another philosophy Briney could get behind.

"I guess, but…is it worth it?" Briney wondered.

"Worth what?" Smithy asked.

Briney sighed. "If the two of us were to…you know, do it…we'd pretty much die. Yeah, the resulting Metagross would have our memories and technically all of our brains would be a part of it, but…would either of us really be us anymore? Would we still exist as individuals, or even as consciousnesses, or just be part of some new kid who hasn't done anything to earn all the power we're handing to him right off the Zubat, the ungrateful brat…"

Smithy raised an eyebrow. "That really bothers you, doesn't it?"

"And it doesn't bother you at all? Not in the slightest?" Briney accused.

"Oh, it does, actually. Quite a lot," Smithy said.

Briney was rather surprised to hear this. "What? But…then why are you so supportive of this procedure?"

"Briney, did you have any of these fears back when you were a Beldum? Or Beldums, rather?" Smithy asked the younger Metang.

"No, but that's because as Beldums I was pretty darn stupid. You know as well as I do that individual Beldum aren't too bright, and it's only when we combine into our higher-level forms we get a true taste of intellect," Briney said.

"Are both of those Beldum you used to be still inside of you, or are you, Briney, a completely new individual born when they combined to evolve?" Smithy asked.

"…Not too sure," Briney said. "I have memories of my childhood—both of them—but it's kind of hazy, and it's not until after I evolved that I really felt, well alive. Which is why I'm worried the same thing will happen if we turn into a Metagross. I'm not afraid of dying, but…going like this, being _assimilated_, gives me the shivers."

"Are you the same Pokémon that you were five minutes ago?" Smithy asked.

"Yes," Briney said flatly.

"Wrong answer. Every experience you have changes you on a minute level, even if it's something as simple as the passage of time second by second. You claim you're worried about losing who you are by joining with me and becoming a Metagross. But that's already happened to you with every moment that passes by as you age and move forward through time, and is in fact happening to you right now, as we speak. The you of the past is already dead and has been assimilated into the you of the present, just like the you of the future will assimilate the you of the now," Smithy said. "One way or another, the you of now will die and be incorporated into the future you. Whether that future you is a Metang or a Metagross makes little difference; it's still going to happen. All you can do right now is choose what you'll be when that happens."

Briney stared at him blankly. "…I think I only understood like half of that."

Smithy sighed. "My point is that change is inevitable, and it seems to me like that's what you're really afraid of. Changing from what you are, what you're familiar with and used to, into something new and strange and unfamiliar."

"I think I kind of have reason to be afraid, especially a change of this magnitude" Briney said.

"So does everyone. It still happens any way, whether we like it or not. All we can do is stop fighting it and suck up and take it like a mon," Smithy said.

"Well, technically, I can fight it. You know, by not evolving with you," Briney said petulantly.

Smithy rolled his eye. "Not the point, kiddo."

"No, the point is that the mon I'll be tomorrow will be different from the mon I am now," Briney said. "But that mon doesn't have to be a Metagross. He can be a Metang. And right now I would be much more comfortable staying a Metang."

"Even though it means giving up all the power you'd get if you joined with me?" Smithy asked.

Briney hesitated for a moment. "…Power's nice, but I'm not sure I want it that badly."

"Even though it means you might be making things harder for your friends further down the line? Sounds pretty selfish to me," Smithy commented.

Briney snarled and clenched his fists. "I've killed mons for less than that, old-timer."

"Me too, but now isn't the time for that," Smithy said. He rubbed his beard thoughtfully. "I didn't answer your question, did I? About why I'm so fixated on evolution, even though I know what it could mean for me. For both of us."

Briney frowned. "No, you didn't. Why are you so fixated on evolution?"

"What would you say if I told you I'm dying, Briney?" Smithy asked plainly.

Briney blinked in surprise. "Taurosshit. In a place as full of magic as this?"

Smithy shrugged. "Magic's nice, but it can't fix everything. I have a fatal case of cancerust."

Briney's eye widened in alarm at this. Cancerust was an illness unique to Steel-type Pokémon. As the name implied, it was a variety of cancer that only affected Pokémon with high levels of metal in their bodies and was essentially a form of living rust that oxidized and ate away at a Steel-type Pokémon's body and bones from within until they were a corroded pile of scrap. It could be treated with galvanization, electroplating, and oil, but just like organic cancer the cure wasn't always completely effective and had a nasty habit of creeping back once it had gotten a foothold in a Pokémon's metal. Thankfully, it wasn't contagious, otherwise Briney would have gotten the heck out of dodge then and there. "…I'm sorry," he said quietly. "That's a pretty terrible way to go."

Smithy nodded sadly. "Don't I know it. My family has a hereditary predisposition for it…I lost my father, most of my siblings, and even a few of my kids and grandkids to it. Now it's my turn."

"You don't look very rusty. I'm guessing it's internal?" Briney asked as he looked the elder Metang over.

Smithy nodded. "Yep, which makes it that much more difficult to get at. I've been doing everything I can to keep it in check, but sooner or later it'll consume me, even with the best treatment and magic money can buy."

"Can't you go to…uh, what do they call it…a Glowdrop fountain? Thought I heard somewhere that might work…" Briney murmured.

Smithy sighed. "Those only exist in the world of Toy Pokémon. Regular Pokémon like us can't go there because we aren't toys."

"Well, there goes that idea…" Briney grumbled.

"There's only one real cure, and you know as good as I do what that is: evolution," Smithy said.

Briney nodded. The energies released by evolution had a tendency to heal injuries inflicted to a Pokémon ahead of time, as well as curing certain illnesses and diseases that even Joys had trouble handling, hence why most Pokémon Centers made sure to have evolutionary items or other evolution-inducing equipment on hand in case of emergencies. "But to evolve, you need a second Metang. Which is where I come in?"

"Pretty much," Smithy said.

"So what, you just want me to fuse with you to fix your illness?! Yeah, that's not making me feel any more inclined to help you!" Briney said angrily.

Smithy snorted. "Please. If that's all I wanted, I could just grab one of my apprentices or kids and have them do it with me. No, it has to be you, and only you."

"And why's that?" Briney asked warily.

"Because you're almost as much of a hardass as I am," Smithy said flatly. In any other circumstance Briney might have been flattered. Actually, he was, but he didn't want Smithy to know that. "We're a lot alike, you and I. If I were to fuse with anyone, it would be with you. I like and respect you, and while I love my descendants, none of them have the same…edge that you and I have. You know what I'm talking about, don't you?"

Briney nodded, his thoughts flashing back to the mess he had made of Archie. "The willingness to do whatever is necessary to survive. The understanding that victory is worth any sacrifice…even if that sacrifice is your own life."

"Precisely," said Smithy. "Most of the other Metang I know, even my own kin, haven't gone through the same kinds of experiences you and I have. They don't _get_ it, the way you or I do. That's why it has to be you. You're the only mon I know who's so much like, well, me…and if I have to fuse with someone, I'd rather it be someone like myself."

"…Yeah, I guess I can see that," Briney admitted reluctantly. He supposed that if he absolutely _had_ to fuse with someone, it wouldn't be so bad doing it with Smithy…aside from the fact that he still didn't want to fuse with anyone, that is. "But even so, I still don't think I want to do it."

"What, not even to save my life?" Smithy asked.

Briney fidgeted. "I…well…it sounds a lot worse when you put it that way!"

"That's because it is, you're denying me a chance at life!" Smithy said.

"The only one doing that is you, since you could just as easily evolve by using someone else! It doesn't _have_ to be me!" Briney pointed out.

"True, but I _want_ it to be you, and not just because of what I already said about the similarities between you and me," Smithy said.

"Oh? Then why? What else is there?" asked the perplexed Briney.

"I want to fight the Nihilators," Smithy said plainly.

Briney blinked in surprise. "You do? Why?"

"Because they're evil bastards who need to be stopped before they destroy the world. Isn't that reason enough?" Smithy pointed out.

"True enough," Briney admitted. "But aren't you already helping to fight them by building all this weaponry and stuff?"

Smithy snorted. "Oh come on, you know as well as I do that doesn't really count! Yeah, my work is helping take them down, but it's not like I'm out there actually fighting them!"

"Okay, yeah, that's true," Briney admitted. "But why don't you just volunteer to join the army for the invasion of Mars?"

"I tried that," Smithy grunted. "They won't let me in because of my condition."

"And to cure your illness, you need to evolve," Briney said.

"And to evolve, I need another Metang. And I want that Metang to be you," Smithy said.

Briney considered this for a few minutes. "…I…guess I see where you're coming from," he said finally. "And now that I understand your reasons, I guess I'm flattered you want me of all Pokémon to evolve with. But…"

"But you still have misgivings," Smithy finished his sentence.

"Yeah. Pretty much," Briney said.

"What if I said there were another reason I wanted to fight the Nihilators?" Smithy asked.

"What, did they kill your wife too?" Briney half-joked.

"No, but…" Smithy sighed. "I'm an old mon, Briney, and it's been a long time since I've ever had to fight for anything, not like when I was younger. Thanks to my illness, I'm dying, and…even if evolving is just another kind of death, like you seem to be afraid of, I think it'd be preferable than having to go out like this, slowly and painfully being killed from within. And aside from that…at least this way I'd get one last chance to fight for what I believe in before Darkrai comes to pay me a visit. That's an opportunity I won't get if I have to stay here, building weapons and ships and watching them get sent out to a big battle to save the world that I can't be a part of myself. You know as well as I do that for a mon with fighting in his blood, there's few things worse than having to watch a brawl from the sidelines."

"…" Briney closed his eye and sighed. "I'll…give it some more thought, okay? I'm still doubtful, but…"

"But?" Smithy asked.

"…We'll see, okay?" Briney said curtly.

"Heh. All right. Sounds good to me," Smithy said.

"That doesn't mean I've decided we'll do it!" Briney snapped.

"I know it doesn't," Smithy said innocently.

Grumbling under his breath, Briney turned his back on the other Metang. "Just get that project finished, okay? Right now that's all that matters. We can discuss evolution some more another time."

"Fine with me," Smithy said. "You're taking up too much of my time already. Get on out of here. I have more important things to do than jabber on with a rookie like you."

"I'll show you who's a rookie…" Briney grumbled as he floated towards the waiting elevator platform. "Where does he get off, calling me that? Hmmph!" He hovered onto the platform, which shook slightly and raised itself out of the lava and into the air. "…I wonder if this is how the others feel when they deal with me. Hmm. Strange to be on the other side of it for a change…"

"Briney!" Smithy called up to the younger Metang, causing the platform to stop.

Briney rolled his eye in frustration. "Yeah? What now?"

"There's one more reason I want to do this," Smithy said.

Briney threw up his hands in exasperation. "Of course there is! What is it now? You think it'll be an easy way to get out of a marriage you hate? To quit being High Priest? To get a taste of youth again and extend your already prolonged life so you don't have to up and die already?!"

"Nobody needs me anymore," Smithy said.

"Eh?" said the confused Briney.

"I'm the High Priest of Heatran and allegedly the greatest smith in all the land, but the truth is there just isn't that much anyone needs me for any longer," Smithy said. "All of my apprentices and underlings have gotten good enough to carry out pretty much any of my duties on their own, and there's no shortage of worthy successors waiting to take over if I were to step down. I'm one of the best at making weapons and other craft in all of Fichina, but I already have a few Pokémon under me who've already reached my level, if not _surpassed_ it, not that I'd ever tell them that to their faces. Most of my best and closest friends died long ago, and while I've got a pretty big family by now, few of them really know me or see me as anything other than the big scary Metang with the cool beard that always smells of sulfur. My family's outgrown me, my students have exceeded me, and while I'm happy to serve Heatran and my country, I'm old enough now that most of the services I can render to them are no longer as useful or necessary as they used to be. Even if it weren't for the Cancerust killing me, I don't have much of a life left here. I've got little, if anything, to strive for or look forward to. Until you lot came along, and told everyone about the Nihilators, and got the ball rolling on one of the biggest military ventures I've seen in all my years. And I want a part of it, because right now, it's all I've got left to hope for. So…" He fidgeted awkwardly, and wouldn't meet Briney's eye. "Would you give me something to hope for? A reason for me to look forward to living again?"

Briney stared at the Metang for a long moment, torn between pity and understanding and frustration at how he was probably being emotionally manipulated. Finally, he said, "Talk to me again after the wedding. I'll have my mind made up then."

Smithy smirked. "I'll hold you to that, bucko."

The elevator began to move again, and Briney turned away as the master smith set to work again, the ringing of metal against metal fading behind him and getting swallowed up by the much louder row filling the main temple. Briney heard none of it, though, too focused was he on the storm roiling inside his head…and the great decision that he would soon have to make.

…

In the skies above New Avalon…

The Draconian Embassy in New Avalon had been designed by the same architects as Rayquaza's mighty mobile fortress, the Sky Tower, so it came as no surprise that the building representing the Draconian Empire's might in the magical land of Fichina was also a floating structure comprised of clouds. The cloudsculptors had spent months painstakingly crafting the Embassy to Nuken's exacting specifications, designed to instill upon everyone who looked upon it a sense of awe and reverence for the might of one of the greatest nations on Earth, a country that had no borders and could quite easily conquer the world if they so choose.

"Why does it look like a dragon?" Tiny asked as he and Ash got off the chariot they'd taken from the base of Twisting Mountain to return to the city.

"Because the Draconians have an almost unhealthy obsession with dragons. Then again, given that most of them _are_ dragons, I suppose that's to be expected," Ash admitted as he tipped the charioteer and sent him on his way. "Come on, the others are waiting for us inside. I don't want to be late for when our guests arrive."

"Neither do I! I'll finally get to meet Grandma and Grandpa and my other siblings in the flesh for the first time!" Tiny said excitedly. "And not only that, but I'll finally see Mommy again! For the first time! Since I've never actually met her before, being in an egg and all…"

"How were you able to remember all that stuff that happened when you were in an egg, anyway?" Ash asked as they walked up the steps from the skydock to the Embassy's entrance.

Tiny would have shrugged, but he was a Pupitar, so he couldn't. "I dunno. Aura magic or something?"

"Yeah, I guess that's as good an explanation as any," Ash admitted as they crested the top of the steps and found themselves before the Embassy's entrance. As Tiny had previously noted, it was indeed made to look like a dragon, with a pair of wings (both literally and architecturally speaking) spreading out to either side and circling around to touch at the tips, a long spiraling tail winding down from the body anchoring the floating building to one of the mountains surrounding New Avalon, a pair of claws outstretched before it holding ever-burning emerald flames in its upturned palms with banners denoting the Draconian insignia dangling from each digit, and a fearsome head somewhat resembling Rayquaza with a gaping tooth-filled mouth right in front of them, the tongue extending out to form the stairway and skydock they'd just climbed up from. A pair of giant emeralds was set in the dragon head's eyesockets, shining green beams of light outwards like beacons. Dragon and Ghost-type Pokémon were flying all over the place on Embassy business or sunning themselves on roosts protruding from the wings and the side of the main building.

"Why'd they make the main entrance a mouth?" Tiny complained as he looked up at the toothy maw looming before them.

"To intimidate and impress, probably," Ash said. "Come on, the others are waiting for us."

After passing through the jaws and into the building's 'throat,' some of the Embassy staff, who were running about like crazy trying to get everything prepared for the incoming dignitaries, directed them to the roof on the dragon's 'back,' which served as a larger dock and parking space for aerial vehicles that couldn't weigh anchor at the skydock at the front of the Embassy. There they found the rest of Team Aurabolt waiting for them, along with the Queen, Princess Boa, Ambassador Stoutroot, Daimyo Leeku, Jujimaru, Iris, Lord Drayden, Kairyu, Atlametheus, Fantina, and Butler and Diane. Fantina's daughters were there as well, fussing over Lily and applying makeup so she looked her best for her father's arrival. There were also several dozen Fichinan knights and samurai, and soldiers wearing the Draconian livery lined up in rows down the middle of the large square courtyard, trying not to look too nervous about shortly being in the presence of one of the highest-ranking and deadliest individuals of their Empire.

"Hey guys," Ash said as they walked over. Lily smiled and shooed her would-be handmaidens away, waving to her friends as they approached.

"Hey yourself! About time you got here!" Pikachu scolded him. "They'll be here any minute! And why aren't you wearing anything?!"

Ash blinked in surprise. "I was supposed to wear something?"

"Uh, yeah, to make a good impression on Lily's dad, duh!" Leo said, rolling his eyes. "I mean, do the rest of us look like we're wearing our skivvies?"

"Your what?" Tiny asked.

"Underwear," Ash explained. "And Leo, you _are_ wearing underwear."

"Well, yeah, because it's the uniform of my station as Lily's soon-to-be-husband!" Leo said, indicating his thong. "But you don't see the rest of us like that, do you?"

Ash frowned as he took another look at his friends, realizing to his slowly dawning horror that Leo was right. Pikachu was wearing very ornate and fancy samurai armor, Dawn was wearing a freshly cleaned and pressed shinobi shozoko with shiny new jewels and glossy feathers, Sasha was wearing her High Priestess Robes, Lily was wearing her full ice-white regalia as head of the Yukihimi house with her hair done in a very elaborate and beautiful style, and even Briney had buffed his metal skin to a fine polish, shaved his 'beard,' and was wearing a mariner's jacket. Compared to all of them (except Leo) Ash and Tiny were severely underdressed, which wasn't hard since they weren't dressed at all, save for Tiny's iconic monocle and top hat, which he never went anywhere without. "…Aw, crap."

"Not to worry!" Fantina said as she floated over. "Fortunately, I zought somezing like zis might 'appen. It's a good zing I invented zat instant-clozes spell four 'undred years ago! CLOZE BEAM!" Her eyes flashed and suddenly fired very large and powerful-looking energy beams at Ash and Tiny, who naturally enough screamed in alarm.

Much to their surprise, however, rather than being incinerated, the beams just left a strange tingling sensation…and when the light died down, both of them found themselves completely dressed to the nines. Ash was wearing a stylish light-weight tux and suit that didn't restrict his movements at all and would probably allow him to fight at full strength with a complete range of motion should the situation require it. Tiny, on the other hand, was dressed in a somewhat ridiculous-looking blue and white sailor outfit with a cap that had a blue ribbon on it dangling in front of his face. Combined with his monocle and top hat, which the sailor's cap was hanging from the top of, he looked rather silly.

Dawn blinked. …_That is…a not entirely useless technique…_

"Don't you dare cast that on me," Briney said warily.

"Or I," Sasha said glumly. "It's bad enough I have to wear these robes so often these days, I'd rather not have any more clothes than I can handle. Which is any. At all."

_There's nothing wrong with clothes, you know,_ Darkrai said, conveniently forgetting that he almost never wore any himself.

_I live in a cave. Where exactly am I supposed to put clothes if I had any?_ Sasha pointed out.

_Hmm, true. Well, you _could_ always move-_ Darkrai started.

_No,_ Sasha said flatly.

_Just a suggestion,_ Darkrai said.

"Heh, looking good, Ash," Pikachu complimented as his brother looked over his new outfit in surprise. "And Tiny…uh…"

"I look ridiculous!" the Pupitar wailed in alarm.

"Yes, you do!" Leo agreed with a laugh as he took a picture. Everyone glared at him. "What? He totally does! Way more goofy-looking than me!"

"I thought you liked your…regalia," Lily said uncomfortably.

"I do! Which is why his is more goofy-looking than mine, because it looks terrible!" Leo explained.

"No it does not, 'e looks absolutely adorable!" Fantina cooed, pinching Tiny's cheek with a spectral tendril. "And so distinguished, wiz zat monocle and top 'at! 'ere, 'ave a lollipop!"

"You're not going to be able to bribe me into liking this with some candy-" Tiny started, only for Fantina to conjure and shove a lollipop into his mouth. He paused when he got a taste of it, and then contentedly began sucking on it, his previous objections forgotten.

Lily frowned. "Fantina, if you can generate clothes like that right onto a Pokémon magically, why did I have to spend so long getting dressed up in this?" she asked, referring to her elaborate and beautiful but somewhat cumbersome garments.

"Because it's no _fun_ if you do it instantly, of course!" Bow said cheerily. Fantina smiled and nodded in agreement, while her other children tittered. Lily sighed.

"Well, uh, thank you very much for the outfit, Fantina," Ash said as he rubbed one of his sleeves, amazed at how smooth the fabric felt against his fur. "My mom'll be grateful for this; you have no idea how long she's been trying to stuff me into a suit."

Mirami frowned disapprovingly. "You mean you wouldn't indulge your dear old Muzzer and dress up for nice occasions?"

"Oh no, I did," Ash assured the enchantress. "It's just that she didn't really have any clothes in my size."

"And whenever we went to the store to get any, they tended not to last very long due to most fabric not being particularly resilient to overexposure to Aura," Pikachu said.

"My book says there _are_ certain ways to treat fabric so it can withstand Aura, but I didn't have it at the time, so we didn't know about it until after we started this adventure," Ash said.

Dawn frowned. _Wait…wasn't that book in the possession of a friend of yours? Why did he not tell you of this before?_

"Well, partly because he couldn't read the book so probably didn't know there was such a technique, and partly because Chuck hates wearing suits himself and probably didn't want me to have to wear one any more than I had to," Ash said.

_Ah,_ said Dawn.

Tiny perked up when he heard this, spitting out his lollipop, which he'd already finished. "Clothes don't stand up to Aura well? Oh! I, uh, think I feel an Aura surge coming on now! Haaaaaaaaaaaaa!" Blue Aura blazed up around him…and had absolutely no effect on his adorable sailor outfit. "Huh?"

"I made zose clozes wiz magic, dear, it'll take a lot more zan zat to destroy zem," Fantina said smugly.

"Awwww…" Tiny whined.

"'ere, 'ave anozzer lollipop," Fantina said, conjuring another piece of candy.

"Yay!" Tiny said, sucking happily on his new treat.

Leo snapped a picture. "That's another one for the scrapbook. Hey, do you suppose I could-"

"No," Pikachu said flatly.

"Aw, come on, why not?!" Leo complained.

"Your future father-in-law will be showing up any minute, do you want to make a bad impression by snacking when he gets here?" Pikachu pointed out.

"…Yeah, I guess not," the Squirtle admitted reluctantly. "But I'm kinda hungry…"

"You ate on the way here!" Pikachu said incredulously.

"I'm a growing boy, I need my calories!" Leo said defensively.

_If you ask me, you already have more than you could possibly need,_ Dawn said, staring at Leo's waistline.

"Yeah, well, we didn't ask you, so there," Leo said, sticking his tongue out.

…_You _do_ remember I work for your future father-in-law as well as my Master, don't you?_ Dawn asked coldly, narrowing her eyes. _You might want to think twice about angering me._

Leo's face turned a shade paler. "…Ah. Good point. Forget I said anything, then."

_I will endeavor to do just that,_ Dawn said, planning to do no such thing.

"So, what have I missed?" Ash asked as he tugged on his black bow tie, which to his surprise was not nearly as tight as he would have expected. "Tiny and I were training all morning-"

"How's that going, anyway?" Pikachu asked.

"Could be better," Ash said with a grimace.

"That's an understatement," Misty hissed into his ear.

"Shut up zombie Misty," Ash muttered under his breath.

"What?" Pikachu asked.

"Nothing. Er…" Ash paused, remembering how he was supposed to be letting his friends know how he was feeling these days rather than just bottling it up. "Just…my Misty hallucination continuing to taunt and belittle me."

"It's what I do," Misty said proudly. "Nice suit, by the way. You almost look like you're going to a funeral rather than a wedding. Probably Leo's, given how Nuken's probably going to kill him. A shame it's not yours." Ash frowned but refused to rise to her bait. This time.

"Oh," Pikachu said, disconcerted.

"You poor boy," Fantina said sympathetically.

"That's really freaky, you know," Leo commented.

"I hadn't noticed," Ash said dryly. "Anyway, enough about me and my repeated failures to tame the darkness raging inside of me and Tiny's falling asleep during training-"

"Hey! I only did that the one time!" Tiny said indignantly, spitting out his second finished lollipop. Ash looked at him. "…Okay, two. Er…three. No greater than five times, honest! Or…maybe seven…um, can I get another lollipop, please?"

"Certainly," Fantina said, conjuring another lollipop for the Pupitar, who quickly started sucking on it before he could dig himself any deeper.

"Well, Dawn, Lily, and myself received that mystical power-up we were promised by Lugia and the legendary dragons," Pikachu said. "We'd show you, but now's probably not the best time."

"Yeah, probably not," Ash agreed.

"Also, Leo complained about being left behind and being weaker than us despite the fact he's going to marry the love of his life, who's also a wealthy and extremely powerful sorceress and heiress, is probably smarter than all of us combined, and has so many weird things in those sunglasses and shell of his that I can't even keep track, so he's far from deficient compared to the rest of us," Pikachu said.

Leo flushed and rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment. "You know, it does sound kind of silly when you put it like that."

_You think?_ Dawn asked dryly.

"Heh, yeah…Wait, did you just say I was smarter than all of you combined?" Leo asked, perking up.

"No," Pikachu said.

"Really? Because I could have sworn I heard-" Leo started.

"You were wrong. Sasha, what were you doing?" Pikachu asked loudly.

"I was tending to some last-minute details at Darkrai's temple," Sasha said.

"And Briney…was off doing whatever it is he's doing when he's not with us," Pikachu said.

"And what is that, precisely?" Ash asked.

"Don't wanna talk about it," Briney said, crossing his arms.

"You know, it's kinda hypocritical of you to always be prying into our minds and personal lives while never uttering a peep about your own," Leo complained.

"I'm older than you, so I can do whatever I want," Briney said flatly.

"…Eh, I guess that's a good point…" Leo admitted unhappily. Tiny nodded in agreement. Older people always got to do whatever they wanted and boss younger mons around.

"But _I'm_ older than you," Lily pointed out. "And I don't believe I have that privilege."

"That's because you _aren't_ older than me. Not where it counts, kiddo," Briney said.

"…I don't get it," said a confused Lily.

"Well, I do, and I most certainly _am_ older where it counts," Fantina said pointedly. "I don't suppose you'd be willing to tell _me_, zen, would you?"

Briney folded his arms and gave her a long, grudging look. Finally, reluctantly, he said, "I'm working on a little something for the wedding okay? There, I said it, quit pestering me."

"Oh, you were practicing for the ceremony? Why didn't you say so, then?" Ash asked.

"…Practicing. Right. That's what I was doing," Briney said shiftily.

"By the way, thanks again for agreeing to officiate it for us," Leo said. "We really appreciate it."

Briney scoffed and waved him off. "Save your apologies, I'm just doing a seamon's duty. And besides, you lot'd probably screw the whole thing up if I weren't doing it for you."

"We love you too, Briney," Lily said, kissing Briney on the cheek and causing the old Metang to flush and stammer in surprise. The others chuckled.

"So, that's you guys. What's…uh, going on there?" Ash asked, nodding to Drayden, Leeku, Iris, and Jujimaru. Drayden, wearing some highly polished ceremonial armor with dragon motifs (naturally) was fussing over Iris, who was wearing a dress with a white blouse, long sleeves with wide openings rimmed in pink, a big pink bow around her waist, a pink skirt cut open in the front with lighter pink frills on the edges, a translucent pink ribbon boa winding around her neck and arms, and a small gold tiara with green gems set in it. Leeku, wearing very fancy ceremonial samurai armor with lots of motifs of tidal waves and roaring Water Pokémon, was sternly lecturing a very nervous Jujimaru, who was wearing an elaborate blue and white gi with a sheathed sword hanging from his waist. (The sword couldn't be removed from the sheath, they'd made very sure of that. Didn't want the Oshawott to put anyone's eyes out, after all.)

"Oh, just some last-minute preparations," Fantina said in amusement, discretely casting a spell that allowed them to hear what the two fathers were saying to their children.

"-Make eye contact, but don't look like you're challenging him. Yes, the way you're looking at me right now. That's _not_ what you should be doing around him. Be as quiet and nonthreatening as possible. Don't even breathe out of place. Keep your heart rate under control, he can smell fear, and he _likes_ it-" Drayden instructed his daughter.

"Daaaaad, come on, don't you think you're making a big deal out of this?" Iris whined. "I mean, yeah, I get that General Shinobu's a really, really big deal and all, but there's no way he's _really_ scary as all the stories say, is he?"

Drayden paled and stared off into the distance, a faded horror in his eyes. "You're right. He's far worse. Worse than you can possibly imagine."

"I can imagine pretty bad," Iris said skeptically.

"Not as bad as this," Drayden said with a shiver.

"Don't talk. Don't open your mouth, not even to breathe. Not a _single_ word is to go past those lips. You are extremely lucky to be getting married to Iris, since nobody else was willing to get engaged to you, no matter _how_ low we set the dowry, and General Shinobu is well within his rights to revoke your privilege of marrying a high-ranking member of the Draconian Empire's aristocracy if he considers you inadequate. Of course, if any of the stories Drayden's told me about him—and there are many—are true, he might decide you're thoroughly inadequate the second he lays eyes on you, but we might as well hedge our bets and keep you silent so you don't say anything stupid that might ruin your future," Leeku sternly lectured his son while making sure his gi was on right.

"You know, Dad, your lack of confidence in me might be at least part of the reason I'm such a screw-up," Jujimaru complained.

Leeku considered this for a moment. "No. No, I really don't think that's it at all. After all, I have lots of confidence in you, son."

Jujimaru perked up at this. "Really?"

"Yes," Leeku said curtly, deciding not to mention he had every confidence his son would find greater and lower depths in which to utterly disappoint him. It wasn't that he didn't love his son—he had to, after all, he was his father—but he didn't really like him that much.

"…Remind me why those two are here again?" Ash asked as Fantina canceled her spell.

"A lot of reasons, but mainly it's for ze sake of politics," the Mismagius explained.

"Is that why your daughters are here?" Tiny asked.

"No, we're 'ere for moral support for Lily," Shauntal said, causing the Misdreavus to blush and smile in gratitude.

"Oh. That's nice of you," Tiny said. "Can I have another lollipop?"

"Don't you think two's enough?" Ash asked.

"No," Tiny said as he started sucking on the third sweet Fantina conjured for him.

"Heh, you tell 'im, Tiny!" Leo said. Ash and Pikachu rolled their eyes.

Queen Ninianne approached the group, Princess Boa following a couple of steps behind. "Ash. Tiny. I am gratified you could make it," the regal Gothitelle said as everyone bowed to her.

"We wouldn't miss this for the world, your Magisty," Ash assured her as he stood back up.

"Especially with my Mom and Grandma and Grandpa and brothers and uncles and nieces and nephew and…uh…whoever else we have in our big, confusing family coming to see me!" Tiny said happily around his lollipop.

Ash winced, realizing too late one should probably not be talking with their mouth open in the presence of royalty. If it bothered the Queen, however, she didn't show any sign of it. Instead, she smiled and said, "Family is a wonderful thing. You are fortunate to have one as large and diverse as yours. I know from experience."

Ash blinked in surprise. "You do?"

"Her Magisty has a family numbering in the hundreds, including consorts, children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, great-great-grandchildren, great-great-great-grandchildren, nieces, nephews, and others which there aren't any words in your language to describe, both by blood and by adoption," Princess Boa spoke up, causing Team Aurabolt to stare the Queen in amazement.

The Gothitelle smiled lightly. "When one lives as long as I have, one has a lot of time on their hands for certain…pursuits."

Fantina smirked knowingly at that. "Yes, we certainly do, don't we?" Her daughters giggled, and Lily looked mortified.

"That's definitely one thing to put on my list of things I'm gonna do when I become immortal," Leo murmured.

"Have a large family?" Lily asked.

Leo hesitated. "…Well, that's _one_ way of putting it."

"I hope that you, too, will have a chance to expand your family further once this business with the Nihilators is settled and your mate returns from space," Ninianne said, causing Ash to flush and his friends to snicker.

"W-well, she's not my mate…yet," Ash stammered.

"And she never will be," Misty hissed. Ash ignored her.

"And that's not something we've really discussed…you know, what with us not actually being together and all. Yet," Ash said. "And we already have a bunch of kids already…plus Tiny…so I don't think we're in a hurry to…you know…" He flushed. "Of course, that's something I actually have to talk to her about first…but I can't say the thought doesn't appeal to me…"

"I'll _bet_ it does," Misty snarled.

"Of course, at the rate our parents are adopting everyone that shows up at their doorstep, you and Misty are going to have some serious competition on your hands when you guys _do_ decide to settle down and start a family for real," Pikachu commented.

"It's not a competition to see who can adopt the most kids!" Ash said indignantly.

"Tell that to Dad…" Pikachu grunted.

"Well, you'll all have to catch up to my parents, what with them adopting Tiama's kids…including those two new eggs they found in the castle recently that apparently weren't ready to hatch at the same time as the rest of the clutch due to Dragon biology being weird or something," Leo commented smugly. "They hatched a couple of weeks ago…I can't wait to meet my new little siblings! I've been an only child all my life, so I'm gonna have a lot of fun being a big brother!"

"Aren't all of your new siblings several times larger than you are?" Lily asked.

"Large enough to eat you, even?" Sasha asked.

Leo considered this. His face paled. "I had forgotten that."

"Well, it's a good thing we reminded you when we did, because now you won't be so surprised when you see them again," Briney said, pointing up at the sky. "Because unless I miss my guess, I think that's them now."

They glanced up. Sure enough, they could see a speck in the distance, growing larger as it came closer. And while there were lots of distant specks growing larger as they approached the Embassy, something told them that this was not like those other specks. Mainly because Briney said it wasn't, and as a sailor his eyesight was something that could generally be relied upon, even though he only had one of them.

"He's coming…" Drayden whispered in horror. Standing up straight, he bellowed, "EVERYONE INTO POSITION! CLEAR THE LANDING AREA!"

"All right, this is it," Leeku murmured as the military and Embassy personnel quickly scurried out of the way of the center of the courtyard and lined up in near formation along the sides, standing at attention. "Remember what I said, son."

"Not to mess things up by opening my mouth?" Jujimaru asked morosely.

"That's my boy," Leeku said, patting his son's head absent-mindedly.

The speck grew and grew until it was no longer a speck at all but a green and gold airship shaped like a dragon, with two curving wings stretching out to either side, a long neck ending in a cockpit painted to resemble a dragon head, and a thick tail-like thruster emerging from the rear. A number of Dragon Pokémon and Fichinan vessels surrounded the Draconian ship as escort, peeling off one by one as the ship approached until finally it was all by itself, the glowing exhaust plume from its tail shrinking as it decelerated and angled towards them for a landing.

"He's coming…he's almost here…" Lily whispered, starting to tremble. She started when Leo touched her side. "L-Leo?"

"Babe, relax," He said. "I know this is kinda scaring you and all…but remember, I'm here, and so long as I am, nothing bad's gonna happen, you hear?"

Her eyes moistened, and she extended an ectoplasmic tendril to brush his cheek. "Oh, Leo…you have no idea how happy I am to have you by my side. Every minute I thank the gods for delivering me to someone as wonderful as you."

_And they hear your gratitude, and are thankful for it, and are happy that you are happy,_ B said.

_Hmm?_ Lily thought.

_Nothing_, B said quickly.

Leo smiled. "I think the same thing, every time I see your face. Don't worry, so long as we're together, nothing, not even your dad, is gonna pull us apart. We're going to get married together, and take our first steps towards giving you the happy ending you deserve, okay?"

Lily's only response was to kiss him on the lips. Fantina and her daughters squealed happily. Tiny made a face and stuck out his tongue, nearly losing his lollipop in the process. Briney looked at the soon-to-be-weds and sighed wistfully. _Remember when we were like that, Peeko? It feels like it was so long ago…mainly because it was, but still._ He shook his head. _Even now, even with the promise that I'll see you again, I still miss you so much. Is it any wonder I'm all messed up, since I've never really stopped mourning your death?_

_Yeah, just like Gligarman,_ Darkrai commented. _Except you don't run around in a silly costume._

_Shut up, Darkrai,_ Briney grumbled.

_No,_ Darkrai said.

_That…will be us, someday, won't it?_ Dawn asked Pikachu tentatively.

"Yeah," Pikachu said. "Looking forward to it?"

Dawn stared at Leo and Lily, who were still kissing. _More and more with every day that passes._

Pikachu smiled faintly. "Yeah…so am I."

"Remember when we were like that, Ash? Too bad it was all ruined by my horrible death BECAUSE OF YOU," Misty screamed in Ash's ear, causing him to flinch. "And I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if the same exact thing happens when I…or the other me, anyway…gets back from space. But enough about your horrible love life for now. Your family is on that ship," she commented, leaning on his shoulder. "Your parents and adopted siblings and our kids. I wonder what they'll think of you, Ash? I wonder what they'll think of what you're becoming?"

"They'll be proud of me for trying the best I can," Ash murmured.

She laughed mockingly. "I rather doubt that. Oh, they'll _say_ they're proud, but we both know they're _really_ disappointed at what a failure and headcase you're turning out to be. What parent wouldn't be, with you for a son? After all, look at Leeku and his kid. You don't think he really loves that irritating retard, do you?"

"Leeku loves Jujimaru," Ash said.

"Sure he does. And that talk about how he should keep his mouth shut so as not to screw things up for himself is just _dripping_ with parental affection," Misty said sarcastically. "And Jujimaru's just incompetent. You're a _monster._ What Mommy and Daddy must think of you…"

"Shut _up!_" Ash hissed.

"Ash?" Pikachu asked in concern.

Ash squeezed his eyes shut and took a few deep breaths. "Pikachu…Mom and Dad, and the kids…they love me, right?"

Pikachu did an alarmed double-take. "Wh-what? Of _course_ they do, Ash! What would make you think…oh." He narrowed his eyes. "Don't listen to her, Ash. She's only speaking lies."

"No, I'm speaking truth," Misty said. "You just don't want to hear it. You _never_ do." She sighed. "And things might be so much easier for yourself if you did…"

Ash's reply, if there was any, was drowned out by the roar of the VTOL jets on the undersides of the Draconian ship's wings as it lowered itself into the courtyard, briefly blocking out the sun and casting a shadow on them as it descended. With a pneumatic hiss, landing gear unfolded from the underbelly of the ship seconds before it could touch down on the floor, the magical clouds making up the building bearing the weight of the vessel without the slightest hint of strain. At a bellow from Boa, Leeku, and Drayden, the soldiers in the courtyard quickly stood ramrod straight and saluted as the bottom of the cockpit pod opened like a dragon's jaw and a ramp slid down to the ground like a tongue. There was a _very_ quick flicker around the boarding ramp that only those with extremely honed senses (which included most of the cast, actually) would have noticed as the accompaniment of Dragon's Head ninjas attached to Nuken sprung out and spread themselves all over the courtyard, taking defensive positions so that they could strike to protect their principal if there were the slightest hint of treachery or assassination, which there wouldn't be of course, but hey, you could never be too careful, right?

There was a ghost of a smile on Kairyu (Palmer's) face as he counted all the ninjas he could detect, amused that there was one right behind him with a no-doubt poisoned dagger ready should he make any unwelcome moves. He wondered how experienced the ninja was, and if it knew that he knew it was there. His eyes darted briefly over to Dawn, proud to see that she was similarly appraising the nearly-invisible ninjas…and hadn't even tensed up to alert their watchers that she was aware of their presence, or that she could move just as quickly to counter them if they made any moves on her or her friends. _She's been trained well,_ he thought a little sadly. _It's such a shame that I couldn't have helped her hone her skills until recently…yet another thing to take out on that wretched traitorous Weavile's hide._

A small contingent of Draconian soldiers in armor that looked far more usable than the ceremonial stuff most of the other military personnel in the courtyard were wearing (which was a misconception, the enchantments in the so-called 'ceremonial' garments made them just as good in battle as any regular combat armor, if not better) marched down the boarding ramp in single file and split to form two columns creating an aisle leading away from the ship. One of the soldiers, bearing the marks and insignia of a herald, stepped forth, bowed to Queen Ninianne, and loudly announced, "Presenting His Eminence Lord General Nuken Shinobu of the Draconian Empire and guests!"

There was a trumpeting sound, and the Draconian national anthem began blaring across the courtyard as a small, seemingly innocuous figure appeared at the top of the ramp. It was a Shedinja, wearing the ornate dragon-themed robes and emerald jewelry of office with barely noticeable bulges indicative of several dozen hidden weapons sewn into its lining. He looked harmless at first glance, but one look at the cold dark void visible in his eye slits and the way he carried himself were indicative of a mon that was not to be trifled with or crossed.

Ash shuddered briefly as he remembered the first time they had met the apparently harmless Bug-type that was one of the deadliest Pokémon on the planet. He and Pikachu had stormed the Sky Tower in an attempt to convince Rayquaza to help them stop the falling star that was about to destroy Pokémon Square, when Nuken had intercepted them. The resulting battle had been one of the worst he'd ever engaged in, only overshadowed by some of the ones he'd taken part in on this current adventure and even then not by much, and the only reason he hadn't killed them was because he realized their concerns about the falling star were valid and was somewhat suspicious of Rayquaza's unusual behavior as of late as well. The following battle with Rayquaza, in which they'd managed to snap him out of the conditioning the meteor had put him under, had been a cakewalk in comparison. It was a good thing Nuken was on their side…he didn't envy Leo for having him as a father-in-law, though.

Nuken stared out at the courtyard, appraising the worth of everyone assembled before him. He hesitated when he locked eyes with Lily, seeing her face in person for the first time in both their lives. She stiffened, and Leo squeezed one of her ectoplasmic tendrils to remind her of his support, while the rest of her friends and Fantina's daughters closed ranks around her to show her they were there for her. She relaxed slightly, but continued staring at the mon who was her father. Nuken shifted uneasily, and it looked as if he were about to say something…

"BROTHER LEO!"

"BROTHER LEO!"

"BROTHER LEO!"

"BROTHER LEO!"

"BROTHER LEO!"

"BROTHER LEO!"

"BROTHER LEO!"

"BROTHER LEO!"

When he was abruptly knocked over and trampled on by eight incredibly enthusiastic and oversized Gibles that stampeded down the boarding ramp and across the courtyard on a Combeeline towards Leo, not seeming to notice or care that they'd just flattened one of the most important and dangerous Pokémon alive in their rush to get off the ship. Everyone's jaws dropped. Drayden looked like he was on the verge of a heart attack. The Queen blinked. Fantina was biting her lip to keep from laughing while Diane and Butler facepalmed. The ninjas and Draconian soldiers either stared in horror or exchanged confused looks, not sure what they were supposed to do about this. Ambassador Stoutroot facepawed and groaned. "Well, looks like we're going to war."

The herald blinked and amended his previous statement. "Uh, now presenting the DeKappa children: Ludwig, Larry, Morton, Wendy, Iggy, Roy, Lemmy, and Drakor Junior!"

The Gibles stormed over to Leo, shoving everyone else out of the way, and grabbed hold of him, shaking him wildly while shouting, "BROTHER LEO! BROTHER LEO! BROTHER LEO!"

"…Huh. That's not something you see every day," Briney said.

"I…did not think Gibles could get so large," a stunned Sasha commented. Most of the Dragon-types were at least as tall as Ash, if not bigger.

"Leo!" Lily cried in alarm.

"H-hey, don't worry babe, I'm fine! Just getting a bit of an—oof—overzealous welcome! Gah! Guys, quit tugging, you're gonna tear me apart!" Leo cried as the Gibles pulled him to and fro, struggling to yank him from each other so they could have him all to themselves.

Unceremoniously and without warning, they dropped him to the floor. Fortunately he landed on his shell, rather than his head.

"Sorry, Brother Leo."

"Sorry, Brother Leo."

"Sorry, Brother Leo."

"Sorry, Brother Leo."

"Sorry, Brother Leo."

"Sorry, Brother Leo."

"Sorry, Brother Leo."

"Sorry, Brother Leo."

"Eh, it's okay guys. You're young and don't know your own strength, I can dig it," Leo said as he pulled himself to his feet and brushed himself off. "Though I gotta wonder just how much property damage you guys have caused in town since I left…" The Gibles exchanged guilty looks, but said nothing.

Dawn looked at the Gibles in puzzlement. _They…do not look quite the way I remember them._

"Yeah, that's because they all looked pretty much completely identical at first so they had to give each other distinguishing features so everyone could tell them apart," Leo explained. "Everyone, allow me to introduce you to my little brothers and one sister!"

"Why is there only one girl?" Tiny asked, still sucking on his lollipop as he stared in awe at the enormous Gibles. And they were Leo's _little_ siblings? Come to think of it, was he bigger than the rest of his siblings that he had yet to properly meet?

Leo shrugged. "Heck if I know. Anyway, we got Larry…"

"Hi!" said a Gible who'd dyed his head fin electric blue.

"Morton…"

"Hi!" said a rather butch Gible with spiked wristbands.

"Wendy…"

"Hi!" said a Gible wearing a pink bow, red bead necklace, and hoop bracelets. Otherwise, it would be virtually impossible to know she was a girl.

"Iggy…"

"Hi!" said a Gible wearing very large, thick glasses and a green-dyed head fin.

"Roy…"

"Hi!" said another butch Gible with pink sunglasses and a pink-dyed head fin. He wasn't a girl, he just liked pink, and there was nothing unmonly about that.

"Lemmy…"

"Hi!" said a silly-looking Gible with a rainbow-dyed head fin.

"Ludwig…"

"Greetings," said a Gible with a dark blue-dyed head fin.

"And Drakor Junior," Leo finished.

"Hi!" said a…completely normal-sized Gible wearing a white bib with drawn-on fangs. He looked positively puny compared to the others.

"Why isn't he as big as the others?" Lily whispered to him.

"He was the last to hatch. Runt of the litter. He doesn't like it being brought up," Leo muttered out of the corner of his mouth. Lily nodded in understanding and kept silent.

"It's good to see you guys are doing all right," Ash said.

Roy squinted at the Lucario through his sunglasses. "Hey…didn't you kill Mama?"

"…No?" Ash said awkwardly. Technically, that wasn't a lie.

"No, you didn't kill her, but you're still the reason she's dead," Misty hissed.

"Oh, okay," Roy said.

"Wow, they sure grow 'em big where you come from," Briney commented. "What're they feeding you?"

Iggy furrowed his brow in deep thought for several minutes. From the way his face was turning red and his teeth were clenching, it was clear it was taking a lot of effort. Finally, with great difficulty and satisfaction, he said, "Food!"

"…Fair enough," Briney said.

"Sibs, I'd like to introduce you all to my friends in Team Aurabolt," Leo said, gesturing to his teammates. "And of course, to the love of my life, and your soon-to-be sister-in-law, Lily Yukihimi."

"Finally! A new sister!" Wendy proclaimed.

"It is a pleasure to meet you all. Leo has told me quite a lot about you," Lily said, bowing in greeting.

"Why do you have chains on your face?" Larry asked.

Lily flinched. "It's…an unpleasant story."

"And one that's about to come to a happy resolution," Leo said, as much for Lily as for his siblings.

"Oh, good. We like happy endings!" Drakor Junior said.

"Happy endings! Happy endings! Happy endings!" the others chanted.

Leo was about to continue introducing his friends to his siblings when Sasha nudged him. "Leo, I hate to interrupt this reunion, but…don't you think we're forgetting something?"

"Huh?" Leo asked blankly. Sasha gestured with her head towards the boarding ramp, where some Draconian soldiers and a pretty Misdreavus with a green and yellow dress, a flower in her hair, and a headband with Meowth ears for some reason were helping a dazed Nuken back in the air. "Oh. That." He cleared his throat awkwardly. "Uh, guys, it's great to see you and all, but in your rush to say hi you kinda trampled my future father-in-law, which I don't think is gonna help endear him to me very much."

"Oooooops," the Gibles said, looking very embarrassed.

"It was all Drakor Junior's fault!" Ludwig shouted, quick to pass the blame.

"What? No it wasn't!" the runt protested.

"Your fault! Your fault! Your fault!" the others chanted, ignoring his spluttering.

"Guys, it doesn't matter _whose _fault it is, you all did it, and you need to take responsibility for it before he decides to call the wedding off and kills me or something," Leo said. "Apologize, now!"

"Sorry, Brother Leo's future father-in-law!"

"Sorry, Brother Leo's future father-in-law!"

"Sorry, Brother Leo's future father-in-law!"

"Sorry, Brother Leo's future father-in-law!"

"Sorry, Brother Leo's future father-in-law!"

"Sorry, Brother Leo's future father-in-law!"

"Sorry, Brother Leo's future father-in-law!"

"Sorry, Brother Leo's future father-in-law!"

"No…problem," Nuken wheezed as Missy brushed off his robes, thinking to himself, _I don't kill children, I don't kill children, I don't kill children…_ "Let's…just try that again, shall we?"

"Uh…okay…er…from the top…" the herald coughed and started again. "Now presenting His Eminence Lord General Nuken Shinobu of the Draconian Empire, Her Eminence Lady Mysteriu Shinobu of the Draconian Empire, and guests!...Again!"

Ash blinked. "Her real name is Mysteriu? I did not know that."

"Why is she wearing Meowth ears?" Lily asked, puzzled by the attire of her mother-in-law.

"Because she's weird like that," Pikachu said.

"Ah," said Lily.

Nuken and Missy started down the ramp…

"DADDY/UNCLE PIKACHU/BIG BROTHER/GUYS!"

Only to be interrupted when Pichu, Matthias, Mizula, Junior, Collette, and Sapphire rushed out of the ship and down the ramp. Missy managed to get out of the way in time, but Nuken was not so lucky and so once more was knocked to the ground and trampled over in the children's hurry to get to Ash and Pikachu. The Draconian soldiers gawked again. The ninjas scratched their heads. Ambassador Stoutroot started banging his head against a wall. Drayden fainted, much to Iris's dismay. The Queen shook her head. Fantina accidentally let out a snicker while her servants facepalmed again. Horrified looks were on Ash and Pikachu's faces, while Briney didn't even try to hold back his laughter.

"Er…now presenting the Thunderblade children; Pichu, Matthias, Mizula, Ash Junior, Collette, and Sapphire," the herald said a few seconds too late.

"Hooray, we're not the only ones who screwed up!" Iggy cheered.

"That's not really something to be proud of," Leo said.

"I don't care!" Iggy cheered.

"Daddy!" Junior, Collette, and Sapphire cried as they tackled Ash to the ground and started hugging him and crushing his lungs.

"Can't…breathe…" he gasped.

"Good. Maybe you'll die and put us all out of our misery," Misty sneered.

"Big brother!" Pichu cried, glomping Pikachu, who angrily shoved him off. "Hey, what gives? Aren't you happy to see me?" he asked, ears sagging in disappointment.

Grimacing, Pikachu relented and hugged him. "I am…but you just trampled Leo's future father-in-law—for the second time today—and may have created a serious diplomatic incident."

Pichu glanced back at the ship, where Missy and some soldiers were trying to peel Nuken off the ramp. He sweatdropped. "Oh…uh…oops?" Pikachu facepalmed.

"Well, uh, I'm happy to see you two as well, but I don't really feel like hugging anyone, if that's okay," Matthias said.

"Awwww," Mizula, who'd been about to hug him, said in disappointment as it lowered its arms.

"Kids, kids! I'm happy to see you too, but could you please get off me before I die of asphyxiation?" Ash rasped in between the kisses his children were smothering him with.

"As-what?" Junior asked.

"He means you're crushing his lungs," Sapphire said.

"Huh?" Tiny glanced down and realized he was standing on Ash's chest. "Oops." He promptly got off.

Sapphire bounced off and Collette fluttered out of the way, allowing Ash to sit up. Much to his surprise, his suit wasn't even scuffed. _Fantina really knows her spellcraft,_ he thought to himself. As his gaze fell upon his children, a true smile graced his face for the first time since the disastrous excursion into his own psyche earlier this week, and a joy unlike any he'd experienced in quite some time welled up inside him, filling him with elation and light. "Kids…I'm so happy to see you. I hadn't even realized how much I missed you until just now…"

They hugged him again, more carefully this time. "We missed you too, Daddy!" Junior said.

"We're so happy you're okay! We were really worried about you, after we heard about everything you've been going through!" Collette said.

Ash stiffened at that. "How…much do you know?"

"Well…Grandma and Grandpa wouldn't tell us everything, which means it must be something really bad!" Sapphire said in concern.

Ash winced. "It…kinda is. But…you know what? That doesn't matter right now, because you three are here, and that's far more important than what's going on with me." He pressed his face into his children's fur, inhaling their scents. It seemed so long ago since the last time he'd seen them, he'd almost forgotten what they smelled like. He chided himself angrily for letting himself get so caught up in his own issues, he'd barely spared any thought for his beloved children. "If only your mother were here…then everything would be perfect…"

Misty bit her lip and looked away. "I am here…but not really…and not the way you want me to be." She sighed unhappily. "Damn you, Ash…when you do something like this, it becomes really hard to despise you, you know that?"

"Um…can…c-can I join, too?" Tiny asked timidly, floating over.

Ash blinked and looked at his son in surprise. "How? Of course you can! Kids, I want you to officially meet your newest sibling, Tiny. Tiny, this is Collette, Junior, and Sapphire. They're your brother and sister."

"H-hello," Tiny said anxiously.

Much to his surprise and delight, they instantly leaped off of Ash and started hugging him. "Hi, little brother! Welcome to the family!" Collette said.

"At last, I'm not the only boy!" Junior cried triumphantly.

"We're so happy to meet you at last!" Sapphire squeaked, rubbing her cheek against Tiny's carapace. "You're so much bigger and stronger than I expected…ow! And a little sharper, too," she complained when she accidentally pricked herself on one of the Pupitar's spines.

"Oh, I'm sorry," he said in alarm.

"It's no problem, I've had worse from when Junior accidentally almost gored me on his tusks," Sapphire said.

"Hey! I only did that the one time!" Junior said indignantly. Sapphire looked at him. "…Okay, two. Er…three. No greater than five times, honest! Or…maybe seven…"

"You're not helping your case," Collette said flatly.

"'ere, 'ave a lollipop," Fantina said, conjuring a lollipop and offering it to Junior.

"Oh, sweet!" Junior said, grabbing the lollipop in his trunk and stuffing it in his mouth.

"Junior!" Ash snapped. "What did your mother and I tell you about that?!"

"Oh, uh, right. Thanks," Junior mumbled around his lollipop.

"You're most welcome, darling," Fantina said sweetly.

Ash sighed. "I was referring more to not taking candy from strangers, but I guess that works too…"

As Junior contentedly continued sucking on his lollipop and Fantina distributed more candies to the rest of the kids, Tiny smiled and had to restrain himself from crying with joy, realizing that his new siblings were awesome, and he was going to love not being an only child anymore.

"They're so adorable…" Lily commented, blushing.

"Wow, and I thought Tiny was cute as he is…hey, you look kinda familiar. Do I know you?" Leo asked Mizula.

"You beat me and my siblings up and helped feed my father to Grandmother Kyogre a couple of weeks ago," Mizula said.

"Ah," Leo said. There was an awkward pause. "Er…sorry?"

Mizula shrugged. "Water under the bridge," it said.

"Ah. Okay," Leo said in relief.

Matthias fidgeted. "So…is anyone going to say hello to me, or…"

"It's great to see you, Matthias," Pikachu said, putting a paw on the Rattata's shoulder. "You look so much stronger and healthier since the last time we saw you…you carry yourself with much more courage and inner strength than I remember. Dad's been training you well."

Matthias smiled abashedly and looked down. "Yeah…though not everyone would seem to agree with that being a good thing…" _Like my Aunt Mollie…_

Pikachu frowned in puzzlement. "Who would possibly think bettering yourself would be a bad thing?"

"Matthias's crazy Aunt Mollie," Pichu spoke up.

"She is not crazy!...Well, okay, I guess she's kind of crazy due to all the horrific tortures she suffered in Mount Blaze," Matthias admitted. "But she deserves our love and care, not scorn."

"Which she's not getting, since she keeps running away from the Pokémon Center where they're trying to treat her, screaming that they're trying to brainwash her," Pichu said.

Matthias sighed. "Yeah…that's a bit of a problem…" Pikachu frowned in concern.

_Were she a member of my clan, we would just lock her in a sensory deprivation tank until she'd achieved inner peace,_ Dawn said.

"Wouldn't that just drive her crazier?" Pikachu asked.

_The two are not necessarily mutually exclusive,_ Dawn admitted.

"Why is your girlfriend clicking her totally wicked awesome talons like that?" Pichu asked.

"It's how she communicates. She can't speak," Pikachu explained.

"What, they can't just cast some magic spell to fix her or something?" Pichu asked.

Pikachu paused, a surprised look on his face. "…You know, that never occurred to me…"

_It might not work,_ Dawn said. _Darkrai did something to my vocal cords that won't trigger until I evolve. Any spell cast might not have an effect due to his dark magic._

"Yeah, that might be the case," Pikachu agreed.

"You know, a conversation is much easier to take part in if you know what both parties are saying," Pichu said dryly.

Pikachu and Dawn flushed. "Oh yeah…sorry…we're so used to everyone we know understanding clickspeak, we kinda forgot that not everyone can…"

"A problem easily remedied! Here you go, kids," Briney said, grabbing the children's skulls from behind and focusing his Psychic power, implanting an understanding of clickspeak into their brains.

"Aaaaahhhh, my head!" Pichu screamed.

"My brain feels like it's trying to crawl out of my ear, which actually happened to my fifth cousin seven times removed Jerry because he pissed off a Psychic!" Matthias wailed.

"You're welcome," Briney said cheerfully.

"Briney!" Pikachu yelled furiously.

"What? Now they can understand Dawn! A win-win situation for everyone," the Metang said.

"You didn't _ask_ if they wanted you to mind-rape them first!" Pikachu said angrily as Matthias and Pichu rolled on the ground in agony while Mizula stared in curiosity.

"I find it is easier to ask forgiveness than permission," Briney said. Pikachu facepalmed.

Sasha smiled sadly as she looked at Ash playing with his children, thinking of her own family. _I miss them so much…_ she thought to herself.

_You'll be back with them soon enough,_ Darkrai said.

_When?_ She asked.

_Heck if I know. Just soon…ish,_ Darkrai said unhelpfully. Sasha sighed. _You know, in retrospect, you should have asked if the gang at Pokémon Square could have found your family and brought 'em over to visit._

Sasha stiffened. _What?! Why didn't you mention this before now?!_

_I only just thought of it now. Sorry. Hindsight's twenty-twenty, huh?_ Darkrai said. Sasha groaned.

She frowned, a thought occurring to her. _Speaking of hindsight…why hasn't my disaster-sense warned me about Nuken getting run over twice now?_

_Oh, that's because I'm suppressing it,_ Darkrai said.

…_You can _do _that?!_ Sasha asked in astonishment.

_Yep,_ he said.

_WHY?!_

_Shits and giggles, mainly. I like Nuken and all, but he could stand to be taken down a notch now and then and you warning him of danger would kinda ruin my fun, _Darkrai explained._ Don't worry; I'll turn it back on after this is over._

_But what if something bad is coming DURING this and I don't have my disaster-sense to warn me about it?!_ Sasha protested in alarm.

_If something really bad were going to happen, I would know about it waaaaaay before you would, trust me on this,_ Darkrai assured her. _And nothing bad's going to happen, so everything'll be fine, I promise. Just relax and enjoy yourself. Besides, don't you find it a little bit of a relief not to have that little feeling constantly nagging you that something bad might happen?_

_Actually, that feeling has saved my life on countless occasions, and its absence leaves me disconcerted, confused, and afraid,_ Sasha said.

Darkrai sighed. _Typical, I try and do something nice and it gets thrown in my face. No good deed goes unpunished and all that rot…_

_I thought you were doing this for your own amusement,_ Sasha pointed out. _Not to do me any favors._

_What, I can't do both? _Darkrai asked. She sighed and said no more.

Lily stared at Ash and his children, an uncertain expression on her face. "Children are wonderful, aren't zey?" Fantina said right behind her, startling her.

"Wh-what?!" Lily stammered. "Oh…uh…yes, I suppose so."

"Sort of makes you want to 'ave some of your own, doesn't it?" Fantina asked slyly.

Lily looked away uncertainly. "…Would any child that comes from my family be anything more than a monster?"

"Wiz you as a mozzer? Yes. I can guarantee it," Fantina said, without a shadow of a doubt. "You are good, Lily, unlike your mozzer…and wiz parents as fine as you and Leo raising zem, your children will be just as good, I am certain of it."

"…Thank you," Lily said. "That…thanks."

"Of course, first you 'ave to get around to _making_ ze babies," Fantina said cheerfully. "I know some tricks, if you want to 'ear-"

"Ah, no, I'd rather not," Lily said, flushing.

"Oh, come on! Your wedding night is tomorrow, and if you're not ready, you won't be able to properly satisfy your 'usband!" Fantina protested.

"We'll work something out on our own!" Lily cried shrilly.

Fantina shook her head. "Darling, trust me on zis: you should never leave zese zings to chance."

Lily moaned and pulled down her hat to cover her face. "Can we _not_ talk about this right now? Especially with my father right over-" She gasped. "My father!"

Leo blinked. "Huh? Oh snap, that's right, he just got trampled again! Ash, your kids done goofed!"

"Which means we're no longer solely to blame! Yay!" Drakor Junior cheered.

Ash blinked in surprise and glanced up from his children to look at Nuken, who was struggling to control his temper while Missy whispered kind words into his earholes. "Oh crap…kids, you trampled Leo's future father-in-law. Apologize before he loses it and kills someone."

The children looked at each other in embarrassment. "Er, I guess we didn't exactly look where we were going, did we?" Collette asked.

"I blame Junior, he was the one leading the charge," Sapphire said. "And he hit Nuken first!"

"Hey! I…did exactly that," Junior admitted miserably.

"Well, he certainly is your son, Ash," Misty said dryly. "Takes more after you than me, I'd say."

"Apologize. Now," Ash said sternly.

"We're sorry, Mister Nuken!" Junior, Collette, Sapphire, and Tiny cried.

"Wait, why are you apologizing? You didn't do anything," Collette asked their newest sibling.

"Oh, I wanted to show sibling solidarity," Tiny said.

Collette blinked in surprise, then burst into a sunny grin and hugged him. "You know what, if it weren't for the fact that you're on Team Aurabolt-"

"Which we're totally jealous of, by the way!" Junior interjected.

"We'd welcome you onto Team GX in a heartbeat," Collette said.

Tiny blushed. "Awww, thanks…_sis_," he said, reveling in how wonderful it felt to call someone his sister.

"My siblings are in horrible pain, so it seems I must apologize for them," Mizula commented as he glanced at Matthias and Pichu, who were still clutching their heads on the floor. "We are sorry for trampling you, Lord Nuken."

"No…problem. Just an accident. Perfectly…understandable…" Nuken said, one eye twitching. If he had teeth, he'd probably be grinding them. _I don't kill kids, I don't kill kids, I don't kill kids…though I'm_ strongly _considering making an exception…_

"Are you okay, honey? I think you're okay. Everyone, we're okay!" Missy shouted, not bothering to wait to hear Nuken's response, if any. "Let's take it from the top again, okay? One last time?"

"Um…right. Sure thing." The herald cleared his throat and shouted, yet again, "Now announcing His Eminence Lord General Nuken Shinobu of the Draconian Empire, Her Eminence Lady Mysteriu Shinobu of the Draconian Empire, and guests!…Once more…"

"I hope nothing goes wrong this time…" Ambassador Stoutroot murmured as Nuken and Missy started down the ramp again. "I'm not sure my heart—or our country's peace treaty—can handle another start like that."

"_Your_ heart? You should be more worried about Drayden," Princess Boa commented, pointing at Drayden, who was sweating heavily and leaning on his daughter, much to her chagrin. "He looks like he'll drop dead any second now."

"Considering how his position here could easily be destroyed with a word from Nuken, who can blame him?" Leeku said sympathetically. Jujimaru opened his mouth, and the Daimyo sharply said, "That was a rhetorical question, son. It didn't need to be answered. And even if it did need answering, it wouldn't be by you, since your mouth is to be closed at all times, remember?" The Oshawott scowled and closed his mouth, a deep sulk creasing his features. Nobody really cared.

Nuken and Missy reached the bottom of the ramp, and it looked as if it would be smooth sailing from then on.

"SOOOOOOOOOOON!"

And naturally, that's when everything went Aspear-shaped again.

Tiny stiffened. He _knew_ that voice. He'd heard it in his dreams. "M-mommy?"

The ship started shaking violently as very LOUD footsteps could be heard stomping through it. Before anyone could react beyond pale faces and looks of horror and resignation, a humongous Tyranitar burst through the hatch—literally, she was so big and moving so fast she smashed right through it and sent bits of metal flying all over the place—and stampeded down the ramp. Missy and Nuken immediately tried to dive out of the way. However, Missy had been holding Nuken's appendage when they had been drifting down the ramp, and panic caused her ectoplasmic tendril to tighten its hold, so when she dove to the side she wound up dragging Nuken, who'd been trying to go the other way, in her wake…

And right into the path of the Tyranitar, who smashed into him and kept on going without even noticing his presence. The impact tore Nuken from Missy's grasp and sent him flying across the courtyard, where he crashed into the startled Queen Ninianne and knocked her to the ground, face buried in her chest.

Everyone's jaws dropped, even more than before. A couple of the soldiers fainted. Others started forwards, only to run into each other, leading to a confused standoff, since they weren't quite sure who exactly they were supposed to be helping here and how they could do it without pissing off the ones from other regiments or countries. Ambassador Stoutroot cheerfully conjured a bottle of extremely heavy liquor and said, "Well, there goes my career and centuries of peace. Cheers!" He started chugging down the booze as fast as he could. The herald was too shocked to announce the Tyranitar's entrance, leaving her name a mystery for the moment.

Leeku was doing the same with a bottle of sake. Jujimaru opened his mouth, but his father pulled away from the bottle long enough to say, "No son, you're not old enough for this stuff yet. You probably never will be, as a matter of fact. It's better this way." He went back to drinking, and the Oshawott crossed his arms and fumed.

Drayden's eyes rolled back in his head and he keeled over, crushing Iris. "Help! Help! Someone get him off of me!" the Axew screamed. "Jujimaru, do something!"

The Oshawott opened his mouth to say he didn't think he could possibly lift the massive Haxorus off of his daughter, and then recalled that he wasn't supposed to be talking, so kept his mouth shut and did nothing. Seeing this, Leeku stopped drinking again for a moment and frowned at his son, saying, "What are you doing, boy? Get over there and help her!" With a weary sigh and sunken shoulders, Jujimaru resignedly obeyed, thinking to himself that he just couldn't win.

"Mother!" Princess Boa cried, starting forward.

"Get your no-doubt magically enlarged boobs off of my husband's face, you two-Poké floozy!" Missy shrieked as she surged forward and struggled to get past the confused soldiers, not seeming to care that she'd just insulted one of the most powerful Pokémon in the world and made an already awkward situation even worse.

Palmer facepalmed. "You guys have really let yourselves go if you let something like _that_ happen three times in a row," He muttered to the ninja behind him, who blinked in surprise, not having been aware that the Dragonite had known she was there before now.

Fantina could hold it in no longer and burst into raucous laughter, much to the shame of her servants. Her daughters would probably have been embarrassed if they weren't laughing as well. The giant Gabites looked at each other in confusion and asked Leo in unison, "Brother Leo, what's so funny?"

"Uh…I'll explain later…much later…" the Squirtle said, flushing a bright red and privately envying Nuken. Why couldn't his fiancé have a rack like that?...or a rack at all, for that matter?

"Leo?" Lily said quietly.

"Yes?" Leo said.

"I'm…not quite as scared of my father anymore," she said, staring straight ahead at where her father was still lying on top of the Queen.

He looked at her in surprise, raising an eyebrow. "And why is that?"

"It's…a bit difficult to be afraid of someone after they get caught in something as completely and utterly humiliating as that," Lily said faintly.

"Heh. Yeah, totally," he agreed. He frowned in thought. "You know, if I didn't know better, I'd say your Dad had planned that stunt to make you less intimidated of him."

Lily perked up at this. "Oh! Do you think he did?"

"Ha, not a chance! A guy with a reputation and ego like that? No way he'd ever do something like that on purpose!" Leo snorted.

"Oh," Lily said in disappointment. It would have been nice if her father had cared enough about her to humiliate himself just to show her he was just another Pokémon…

"That lucky bastard…" Briney muttered to himself in amusement and slight envy.

_That is one of the most horrifying things I have ever seen,_ Dawn said faintly. _And I have seen a _LOT_ of horrifying things._

"So have I," Matthias said, not impressed. "I've seen worse."

Dawn frowned. _As bad as-_ she started.

"Let's not traumatize Matthias any more than he already has been by the awful childhood he's had," Pikachu interjected quickly.

"Whatever she thinks is so awful, I'm pretty sure I can take it after some of the things I've seen," Matthias said deadpan.

Dawn described one of the things Chobin had done to her when she had been a captive of the Nihilators. As Pichu turned green and struggled not to throw up, Matthias's expression of disinterest didn't change in the slightest. "Meh, I've seen worse."

Dawn's eyebrows raised in surprise. _This I very much doubt._

Matthias smiled grimly. "Oh yeah? Let me tell you about the time-"

"Ah, there's no need to traumatize Dawn any more than she already has been by the awful life she's had," Pichu said quickly. "Or me, since I haven't had much of an awful life up to this point. Or Mizula."

"Actually, my life hasn't been all that-" the Phione started.

"Shut up Mizula, nobody asked you," Pichu snapped, causing Mizula's antenna to droop.

"Dad, why are you covering my eyes?" Junior complained.

"Because this isn't something you need to see, son," Ash said.

"Then why aren't you covering any of our eyes?" Collette asked, gesturing to herself and Sapphire.

"Because you're much more mature than your brother," Ash said. The girls smiled at that.

_BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh…oh man…gahahahahaha! That…that's…that's so…hahahahaha! That's even better than I imagined! I couldn't have done better if I'd planned that myself! Bwahahahahaha!_ Darkrai boomed in Sasha's head.

_I do not especially see the comedy in this,_ Sasha said grimly.

_Bah, you've got no sense of humor,_ Darkrai said with a sulk. _My best material is wasted on you._

_I fail to see what's funny about two people crashing into each other. Which may cause a war for some reason, if everyone else's reaction is anything to go by. I don't understand why that is, it was just an accident,_ Sasha said.

_It's politics, Sasha. They don't believe in accidents, there's _ALWAYS_ someone to blame,_ Darkrai said.

_Then why not blame that Tyranitar and declare war on her?_ Sasha asked.

_Because she's not the one who landed in Queen Ninianne's breasts,_ Darkrai said in amusement.

_I do not understand,_ the Absol complained.

_I know. That innocence of yours is so adorable,_ Darkrai cooed.

…_I am NOT adorable!_ Sasha said angrily.

_You are when you get angry like that,_ Darkrai said in amusement. Sasha growled. Darkrai chuckled. _Not helping your case any, girl._

_Oh, forget it…_ she grumbled while Darkrai laughed again.

Tiny paid no attention to the diplomatic nightmare going on around him; he only had eyes for one Pokémon: the Tyranitar stomping towards him, seemingly unaware of the various kunai and shuriken being flung at her by some of the ninjas who were more on the ball that plinked harmlessly off her nearly impenetrable hide. "MOMMY!" he cried, flying towards her.

"SON!" the Tyranitar bellowed, spreading her arms wide to receive him.

The two collided, their armor resonating with a thunderclap that shook the clouds and caused everyone to flinch as the Tyranitar wrapped her arms around her child, both of them bawling for sheer joy. Then the Tyranitar frowned and stared at her son's choice of clothing. "…What are you _wearing?_"

"They made me wear it," Tiny said, shooting a smug look at Fantina, who pouted.

"Well, they made the right choice, because you look ADORABLE!" the Tyranitar squealed, much to Tiny's dismay and Fantina's triumphant elation as she started rubbing her cheek against the Pupitar. "And distinguished, with that monocle and top hat!"

"M-Moooooom!" Tiny gibbered as his new siblings snickered at him. Great, he'd only met his long-lost mother for five seconds and already she was embarrassing him in front of his friends! Were all mothers like this?

"Oh, my baby boy!" the Tyranitar said, hugging Tiny harder. Had he been any other Pokémon, every bone in his body would have been shattered in his grip. Since he was encased in an extremely durable armor shell, however, he barely felt a thing other than his mother's warm affections. "You've grown so big and strong…without me…" She looked down at him sadly. "You've grown up so fast…and I've missed every bit of it. Your hatching…your evolution…every part of your childhood. I couldn't be there for any of it." She started crying again. "And if everything the nice people who rescued me have told me is true…you've suffered for it."

Tiny found himself at a loss for words as his mother started tearing up again. This shouldn't be a time for tears, this was a happy occasion, their long-awaited reunion! But what could he say to make her happier again?

Thankfully, as always, his father came through for him. "It wasn't as bad as all that, ma'am," Ash said respectfully as he stepped forward. "Tiny could have been turned into a hot dog, or hatched all alone…but he wasn't. We found him. And we worked our damned hardest to make sure to raise him as best we could."

"Though that period where he didn't talk and screamed whenever anyone other than Ash touched him made things a little tricky," Leo muttered, causing Pikachu to nudge him.

"I know you probably wouldn't approve of us taking him into battle alongside us all the time, but trust me when I say he can hold his own, and has saved us just as often as we've saved him," Pikachu said. "I couldn't be prouder to have him on our team."

"Yeah, he destroyed a centuries-old cursed bell and freed over a hundred trapped spirits just by _punching_ it! It was so hardcore!" Leo gushed.

"He bravely rode into battle beside Ash to fight an evil legendary bird not once, but twice…and both times, they won!" Lily said.

"He has fought Nihilators, hired thugs, zombies, shapeshifters, and all sorts of other creatures without flinching in the slightest," Sasha said.

"I was one of them," Mizula added. He frowned. "At least, I think I was. Everyone's bodies were swapped at that point, so things got a little confusing…"

"And he helped us get a treasure we were looking for and win custody of a pirate ship and crew by outdrinking the captain," Briney said proudly. "He even evolved from it, too!" The others gave him dirty looks. "What? If my son had done something like that, I'd damn well be proud of him for it!" He sighed. "Not that I have a son, though…" _Oh, Peeko…_

The Tyranitar blinked in confusion. "Wait, what was that last part?"

"It's not important," Ash said quickly. "What is important is that…your son didn't have it easy, I'll be the first to admit that much. However, we tried our hardest to give him the support and care he needed to keep from developing into something…dark." He stared at Tiny, and a slow smile crept onto his face. "And…in doing so, I'd like to think he helped to keep our own darkness at bay, as well."

"…Uh, is he speaking metaphorically or talking about that super-evil thing inside of him?" Pichu whispered to his brother.

"Shh!" Pikachu hissed. "And you're not supposed to know about that! How do you know about that?!"

"Overheard Mom and Dad talking about it when they thought I wasn't in earshot. Don't worry, I didn't tell them," Pichu muttered jerking his head at Ash's other children, who were looking at their father with naked awe and admiration on their faces. "I've got _that_ much tact, anyway."

"Oh. Good," Pikachu said with a sigh of relief. He was somewhat impressed, he hadn't known his little brother even knew the meaning of the word 'tact.' "Um…about Ash's problem…how are Mom and Dad taking it?"

"Oh, they aren't worried in the slightest," Pichu said.

Pikachu gave him a surprised look. "What, really?"

"Nope! They have every confidence you guys will figure out a way to save him!" Pichu said.

Pikachu's ears flattened against his skull. "Wow, that's…that's really touching." Pikachu sighed. "I just wish Ash could be as certain…" _Along with the rest of us…_ Dawn put a paw on his shoulder, sensing his inner turmoil and doubt.

"I'm sure you could've done a better job of raising him than we could," Ash continued, as the Tyranitar stared at him and the others in amazement. "But we did our best to raise him to be the kind of mon you'd be proud of when the two of you were inevitably reunited."

Tiny's eyes were wide and glistening. "D-Daddy…" he whispered.

"…You…truly care about my son, don't you?" the Tyranitar said in wonder. "I had heard as much from the glowing recommendations he gave of you all in our far-too-brief chats over those magic windows of yours…but only now do I understand just what he was talking about." She bent over until she was at eye level with Ash. "You are the one called 'Ash,' right?"

Ash nodded. "Yeah. Uh, sorry about Tiny calling me 'Daddy' and all, but I'm the first thing he saw when he hatched and imprinting and all and-"

"It is fine," the Tyranitar cut him off. "If even _half_ the things I have heard about you are true, then you are _more_ than deserving of that title. Perhaps even more than my ex-mate ever was."

"R-really?" Ash asked, face coloring. "I…th-that's…I mean, that's flattering and all, but surely you're exaggerating a little!" _I mean, yeah, her husband turned out to be a mole for Team Rocket, but I'm the one who's got a world-destroying monster inside of me!_

"Eh, I'd say it's a fair toss-up," Misty said acerbically.

"You are too modest," the Tyranitar said. "You are more than worthy of being the mon my son calls 'father.' After all, you are the Chosen One. How can you not be?"

Ash winced. "Ah. You heard about that."

"Your parents will not stop talking about it," the Tyranitar said in amusement.

"Yeah, that sounds like Mom and Dad all right," Pikachu said wryly.

"You said it! I'm starting to wonder if they even care about me anymore…" Pichu fumed. "I mean, seriously, how am I supposed to measure up to something like that? Or whatever latest accomplishment you've picked up when I wasn't looking?"

"I received a blessing from Zekrom and got a set of magical lightning armor earlier this morning," Pikachu admitted.

"What?! Seriously?! Oh, come on!" Pichu screamed. "How do I compete with that?!"

"It's not _about_ competing, it's about forging your own story," Pikachu said.

"Yeah, a story that'll be completely overshadowed by _your_ accomplishments until I'm just a footnote in the history books, just like Great-Uncle Alfie!" Pichu accused, causing Pikachu to wince at the potential truth in that statement.

"Great-Uncle who?" Matthias asked.

"Exactly! Nobody remembers him, even though he did lots of cool and heroic stuff, because he wasn't the samurai of his generation to wield Thunder Fang!" Pichu complained. "And now I'm going to be forgotten, just like he was!"

Pikachu put a paw on his little brother's shoulder. Pichu tried to shake him off, but Pikachu's grip tightened its hold. "Little brother, you still have a lot of growing up to do and many more adventures to take part in," Pikachu told him sternly. "Just because you aren't this generation's chosen wielder of Thunder Fang doesn't mean you can't be a legend in your own right. After all, it takes more than a magic sword to make someone a hero."

"Yeah, like weird spinning top things," Matthias commented. "Like the ones we used to save Tiny's mom."

Pichu perked up at that. "Hey yeah, we did, didn't we? I wonder if we can swipe some more of those off those Rocket guys…"

Pikachu sweatdropped as Pichu started spouting out a number of ridiculous plans to hunt down Team Rocket and get more of those Styler things that Leo would have been proud of. "That's…not exactly what I was trying to tell him."

Dawn shook her head. _They're young. Let them figure it out for themselves._

"And then, after I get a Styler, maybe I can get a ninja girlfriend of my own!" Pichu proclaimed, finishing detailing his latest scheme to an unimpressed Matthias and a confused Mizula. "Hopefully one who's not hideously disfigured and can actually talk."

Dawn's eye twitched. "They're young. Let them figure it out for themselves," Pikachu said in amusement.

"I can think of no mon more worthy of being my son's father than you," the Tyranitar said to Ash while Pichu's little tantrum had been going on in the background. "Or my husband."

Tiny blinked. "Wait, what?"

Ash's face paled as Pikachu snorted, Leo and Briney burst into laughter, Lily looked confused, and Sasha growled. "Uh…"

"Ooh, so now you're going to cheat on me? You _bad_ boy!" Misty teased. "You're even more despicable than I thought!"

"Hey, stay away from Daddy, you homewrecker!" Junior shouted, causing Collette to facepalm.

"Yeah, Daddy already has a Mommy—by which I mean our Mommy, not Grandma—so you can't be his, too!" Sapphire agreed.

"Well, technically she _can_, polygamy's legal in Pokémon Square—just look at that confusing mess Team AWD, Team Raider, and Team Charm has going for them—but I agree that I'm not entirely comfortable with our father taking a second wife, even though technically he's not married to our mother in the first place, something which I hope he will remedy in the near future," Collette said.

The Tyranitar gave Collette a confused look. "_Second_ wife? I thought he was single."

"Well, ah, that is, uh, I kind of am, but, er, I'm also not, that is, I mean, ah…" Ash stammered.

"Ash and Misty are in love with each other but were too dense to admit it, even though they've already had three—adopted—children together," Pikachu said. "But once she returns, Ash fully intends to at last make his intentions and feelings clear to her."

The Tyranitar gave Pikachu a baffled look. "Re…turns? I thought she was dead."

Ash started. "Huh? Where did you hear that?!"

"Well, everyone told me she was among the stars," the Tyranitar said.

"Yeah, because that nutjob Doctor Tarantulas used some weird gadget to transport her waaaaaayyyy out into space," Leo said.

Ash nodded. "But she's okay, managed to hitch a ride, and is currently on her way home now…though we're not exactly sure when she'll get back."

"I miss her…" Junior said sadly.

"We all do, little brother," Collette said, putting a limb on his back.

The Tyranitar's eyes bulged. "Oh. OH. When…when I was told she was among the stars…I thought that was just a euphemism for death. Not that she was actually out…you know, there!"

"That was our first impression too, to be honest," Ash admitted. "We got clarification later that that wasn't the case, though."

"Thank goodness for that," Sapphire agreed.

The Tyranitar blushed and stood back up. "Well…ah…this is embarrassing. I apologize for the misunderstanding. I had thought you were a widower, and in search of a new mate. But I see that is clearly not the case."

"No, it's not," Ash said.

"Well, technically he doesn't have _any_ mate, but-" Leo started, only for Pikachu to glare at him. "Er, never mind."

The Tyranitar bowed her head in shame. "I did not mean to come between you and your mate…or almost-mate, as the case may be. Please forgive me for my transgressions."

"It's okay. Honest mistake," Ash said somewhat anxiously, hoping to just put this embarrassing incident behind them. And for Leo to stop laughing… "So, uh, does that mean you and I…?"

"No, we do not have to mate. Well…not if you don't want to, anyway," the Tyranitar said.

"NO, HE DOESN'T!" Junior shouted. Collette facepalmed. Sapphire stuck her tail ball in his mouth to keep him from saying anything else stupid.

Ash blushed. "I'm flattered, but like my son over there said, my heart's kind of set on Misty. Sorry."

"Very well. I understand," the Tyranitar said, sounding only slightly disappointed.

"So, uh…what does this mean for you, me and Tiny?" Ash asked uncertainly.

Tiny started, a horrifying thought occurring to him. "M-Mommy…he can still be my Daddy, can't he?! I mean, even if you two don't get together—which I was kind of hoping might happen, I guess—h-he can still be my Daddy, right?"

"Of course, son. He hatched you and raised you. He will _always_ be your father," the Tyranitar said, much to Tiny's relief.

"Awww," Fantina and her daughters cooed.

Lily frowned and looked away. "…Mother would never treat me like that…"

"That's because she's a horrible evil bitch," Leo said bluntly.

"So, uh, if you two aren't getting together, how exactly are you going to raise Tiny?" Pikachu asked.

"Joint custody?" Leo suggested.

"Doesn't that usually lead to the kids having strained relationships with their parents and unhappy childhoods?" Briney asked.

"Not _always_," Leo said. "I mean, it's not like Ash and Tiny's mom are divorced. Heck, they aren't even together in the first place!"

"I'm not sure that'll help matters," Briney said.

"Your parents have generously agreed to allow me to move into your household," the Tyranitar explained. "Since Tiny is, according to them, part of the family now, by extension so am I, and therefore am welcome to live with them until I can find a place of my own in Pokémon Square."

"And yet another honorary Thunderblade joins the family…" Pikachu murmured. "Where are Mom and Dad finding room to _put_ them all?!"

"We're having extensions added to the house, and got a permit from the Mayor allowing us to dig deeper and expand our property so there's room for everyone," Pichu explained. "Dad's excited because he'll finally get to build that new training room he's always wanted, and Mom's getting a bigger kitchen, and Team GX will get rooms of their own."

"And are you going to get your own room too?" Pikachu asked.

Pichu scowled. "No, Mom and Dad still want me to bunk with Matthias and Mizula to help them get accustomed to living with the family."

"I'm fine with it," Mattias said. "Certainly more comfortable than the sleeping arrangement I had back in the wild, namely, being crushed beneath the weight of all my family members."

"And it reminds me of our quarters back in Samiya…" Mizula said. "Only not underwater, and there aren't Nihilators constantly trying to sneak in at night to rape us."

Pikachu stared at him for a moment. "…Yeah, that's not exactly a problem in Pokémon Square, either."

"It wasn't a problem in Samiya, either...for _us_," Mizula said, causing Pikachu to shudder as he remembered just what sorts of tricks the Phione could do with its ability to turn into water.

"So we'll all get to live under one roof together!" Tiny said excitedly.

The Tyranitar nodded. "So both your father and I can raise you. It seemed the most ideal solution."

"And…can I still go on adventures with Daddy?" Tiny asked, shooting a glance at Ash.

The Tyranitar hesitated. "I…am not comfortable with you going out on such dangerous adventures all the time," she admitted. "Nor am I entirely happy with Ash forcing a Pokémon as young as you into such frightening and deadly confrontations as the ones I've heard you've embarked on."

Ash blinked in confusion. "Why, is there something wrong with that?"

The Tyranitar gave him a baffled look. "You see nothing wrong with taking an infant into situations where they could possibly _die?_"

"I took my kids on dangerous and risky adventures when they were barely out of the egg and they turned out just fine," Ash said.

Junior mumbled something that might have been, "That's right, we did!" but it was hard to tell given that Sapphire's tail was still lodged in his mouth.

The Azurill squealed in disgust. "Ew, Junior, you're getting slobber all over my tail!"

"Sorry," he probably mumbled, getting more saliva over Sapphire's tail, much to her distaste.

"Our Father of the Year, everyone!" Misty said sarcastically, slow-clapping.

"Mommy, a lot of the things I've done with Daddy and the others have been pretty dangerous and scary and stuff," Tiny admitted. "But I've always been able to hold my own pretty well, and Daddy and the others have always held my back. Besides, it's not exactly like there was a place they could leave me behind most of the times they had to go out and fight the bad guys where I'd be safe."

"Well, actually-" Leo started, only to realize it was probably not a good idea to bring up that he could theoretically have stayed behind in Treasure Town with Tracey and Professor Oak. _And besides,_ he admitted. _It's not like Treasure Town is any _less_ dangerous than the places we've been to. Heck, it's probably worse than all of them put together!_

"And aside from that, they _need_ my help! Like they said before, they wouldn't have been able to defeat Yamatorochi or Captain Barbedo without me!" Tiny pointed out. "What if they run into another foe in the near future that they can't defeat without me?"

"And what if you _die_, Tiny?" the Tyranitar asked angrily. "I just found you again! Do you really expect me to let you go and do something that could kill you?"

"Yes," Tiny said, much to her astonishment. "Because I have Daddy and Uncle Pikachu and Aunt Dawn and all my other friends to help me and watch my back."

Pikachu started. "Did…did he just call me Uncle? I don't think he's done that in quite a while."

_And me Aunt?_ Dawn asked, finding herself oddly delighted. _Has he ever done that before? I can't recall. Either way, it feels…nice._

"He's right, Mrs. Tiny's Mom," Leo said. "We've got Tiny's back! We always have!"

"We love Tiny dearly, and will do our best to make sure he stays safe," Lily said fervently.

Sasha nodded in agreement. "No harm shall come to your son if we can help it."

"And when it does—because, let's face it, he's gonna get hurt in our line of work—we'll not only patch him up, we'll rip whoever laid a finger on him a new one," Briney promised.

_We shall kill any who harm Tiny in the most painful and agonizing ways imaginable,_ Dawn vowed.

Ash bit his lip. "If…you don't want him to come with us on the next leg of our adventure, we…we'll understand. We'll be disappointed—he's one of us, after all—but as his mother, the decision is yours."

"What? No!" Tiny cried in alarm as his mother considered this. "You're my parent too, the decision is yours!"

Ash shook his head. "Tiny, you've spent your entire life with me…which hasn't been very long, granted. This is the first time your mother's held you in her arms since you were an egg. If she wants to take you out of danger, isn't it her right to?"

"I…I guess…" Tiny admitted. "But…but I wanna go with you!"

Ash smiled sadly. "I want you to come with us too, Tiny…but if your mother thinks it'd be safer for you in the long run not to, then we'll abide by her decision."

"Of course, if he _does_ come back to Pokémon Square with us—which'd be totally awesome, by the way, since it means we can get another member of Team GX—it's not exactly like it'd be _less_ dangerous for him, what with the upcoming war with the barbarians and all," Collette pointed out.

"Oh yeah…that's true, isn't it?" Pikachu murmured.

"'e could stay 'ere," Fantina suggested. "We would be 'appy to accommodate you and your son, mademoiselle. Fichina is…probably a lot different from anywhere you've ever been before, but it is unlikely you will be troubled much by ze battles to come if you were to stay 'ere for a spell."

"And it'd be fun 'aving a boy closer to my age around ze 'ouse for a change…" Nefertari said.

"Sister, you're at least two decades older zan 'im," Shauntel said.

"Shhh! Don't ruin my chances to get a boyfriend!" the Yamask hissed.

The Tyranitar looked around at everyone's hopeful and concerned faces uncertainly, and then stared down at her son's desperate and pleading expression. She sighed and closed her eyes. "…You have a great many Pokémon who truly care about you, don't you, my son? You are…incredibly fortunate. I do not think you could have fallen in with a better group of friends." She grimaced. "I shall…think on the matter. While it is true that if Tiny were to come back with me to Pokémon Square, he would probably still be in danger…but I'm not sure if letting him go with the rest of you to Mars would be much of a better option. And while your offer is very generous, Lady Fantina, I am not sure how comfortable I would be in a land such as this." She frowned and looked down at the floor, prodding the clouds with a toe. "As it is, I'm having a hard time restraining my fear that I'll fall to my death…even my armor would probably not withstand a fall from this height."

"Gee, thanks for reminding me I'm afraid of heights," Matthias said sardonically.

"You are?" Pichu asked.

"I learned to be scared of many, many things in the wild," Matthias said. "Since just about anything could kill me. And while training with my new father has helped me get over a lot of them, I'm not quite over that one yet."

"Ah," Pichu said.

"I'm afraid of extremely high temperatures, if that helps," Mizula said.

"Really? Why?" Pichu asked.

"I'm worried I'll evaporate. I'm not entirely positive I could reconstitute myself if I were turned into a gas," Mizula explained.

"Oh. I guess that makes sense," Pichu said.

"That doesn't really help, but thanks anyway," Matthias said.

"Give me some time. I want to spend time with my son and find out more about what he has done from his own mouth. After that…I shall give you my decision," the Tyranitar told the group.

Ash nodded. "Fair enough. Whatever decision you make, we'll abide by. Right, guys?"

"Right," they said a little reluctantly.

"And that means no sneaking away to come with us at the last second, or any of you kidnapping him to take him with us, is that clear?" Ash said sternly.

"Yes, Ash/Daddy," Tiny, Team GX, Leo, Briney, Sasha, and Dawn said resignedly.

"Huh. That's surprisingly mature of you," Misty commented. "Unless, of course, you're trying to keep him away from you so that when you inevitably turn into a monster you won't kill him. Right away, at least, since you'll get to him eventually while pursuing your drive to destroy all life on Earth."

"Good," Ash said, ignoring Misty. "Now that that's settled…I don't think we ever got your name, Mrs.…?"

"I am called She Who Makes the Earth Tremble in her Anger Which Vexes Cartographers Due to Her Rage Reshaping the Landscape and Destroys All Who Oppose Her or Harms Her Loved Ones in Her Fury," the Tyranitar said.

They stared at her blankly. "That's…a bit of a mouthful," Pikachu said.

"Wild Tyranitars have a tendency to give themselves very descriptive names," Briney commented. "I should know, I wrestled a few for fun in my spare time. Always won, of course."

"Of course," Sasha said.

"My…new family seemed to think that was too long to remember, so now I am apparently called Kageie," the Tyranitar said.

Pikachu's ears perked up at this. "Kageie? That was the name of a Tyranitar who was one of Warlord Kenshin's Four Heavenly Generals that one of my distant relatives, Akizane, fought against during the Sengoku wars in Ransei a few hundred years ago."

"Another Thunderblade nobody remembers…" Pichu grumbled.

"We remember him," Pikachu said.

"Akizane never did anything, though! He was just a soldier!" Pichu protested.

"Not all heroes have to do big and great and glorious things. To his family, the small part he played in that conflict was enough to make him a hero in their eyes," Pikachu lectured. Pichu rolled his eyes.

"Kageie, huh? Sounds like a fittingly badass name to me," Leo quipped.

"Kageie was a guy," Pikachu said.

"…Ah," Leo said. "Eh, good enough."

"Out of curiosity, what exactly were you going to name Tiny before you were…separated?" Lily asked.

"He Who Devours Mountains to Satiate His Unending Hunger and Whose Wails Shatter the Bones of Those Who Arouse His Ire," Kageie said.

"Ah," Lily said.

"Yep, that pretty much describes Tiny to a T, especially when he was a Larvitar," Leo said.

"Except for the alcoholism," Briney said.

"Yeah, except that," Leo agreed.

"Hey! I don't drink anymore…much…" Tiny muttered. "And _I_ like that name."

"I thought you liked Tiny," Ash said, hurt.

"I like that, too!" Tiny said quickly.

"It's an all right name, though I'm not certain how appropriate it will be for much longer," Kageie said.

"Well, it's not like Daddy has ever been very creative with names," Collette said said.

Sapphire nodded. "There's a reason Junior's the only one of us Mom allowed him to name."

"Hey!" both Ash and Junior shouted, though the latter only did so around Sapphire's tail.

"Tiny and his Mama reuniting are really sweet," Lemmy, who hadn't said anything in a while, commented.

"I wish we could have a chance to see our Mama again…" Ludwig said solemnly.

"I wish I could have had a chance to see our Mama, period, since I never met her," Drakor Junior said sadly.

"Still, at least we have New Mama and New Papa and all our other New Mamas and New Papas back home," Wendy said.

"Speaking of which, where _are_ New Mama and New Papa?" Iggy asked.

"Hey-O!" someone called from the top of the boarding ramp into the Draconian ship.

Leo gasped and whipped his head around. "Mom! Dad!"

"New Mama! New Papa!" the Gibles cheered.

The herald, who'd been too busy staring (along with pretty much else) at the tableau developing around Nuken and Queen Ninianne as Draconian and Fichinan soldiers were trying to pull them apart but kept getting in each other's ways and stepping on each other's toes to the point that some of them were shouting and yelling at each other and it looked as if a fight was about to break out and they had completely forgotten the predicament their lieges were in, and those who _hadn't _forgottenwere having a profound lack of coordination and kept pushing the Queen and Nuken back together every time it looked like they were about to be properly separated, so desperate to prove themselves they were ignoring the Queen's screaming protests that she could fix this herself and Nuken's bellowing that he'd kill them all as soon as he got out of there while Ambassador Stoutroot and Daimyo Leeku just kept drinking and Drayden kept waking up only to pass out again every time he saw the debacle and Kairyu was perpetually facepalming, started when he realized he was neglecting his duty and quickly announced the entrance of the two shelled reptiles walking down the ramp. "N-now presenting Brad and Judy DeKappa!"

Leo's parents didn't bare much of a resemblance to their children, adopted or biological. This was because Judy was a perfectly ordinary-looking Torkoal while Brad was an eight-foot tall metallic titan with a shell made of some of the hardest alloys on Earth with lots of flashing lights and glowing lines running between the scutes. His fully articulated metal limbs ended in massive claws that could crush stone and rend metal. A tail made of a number of very thin cables woven together to make it look thick and furry grew out from the bottom of the shell. His head was a transparent dome on top of the shell with an animated Wartortle skull wearing a pair of rad sunglasses placed inside with a number of cables running to and from it. The mechanical horror raised a massive arm and waved cheerfully as they walked over. "Hey, Leo!"

"Hi, Dad!" Leo cried, waving back along with his siblings while nearly everyone else (except for Team GX, Team Awesome, and Kageie, who'd ridden on the flight over with him) stared in disbelief.

"Leo, why is your father a robot?!" Sasha asked in incredulity.

"He's not a robot, Sasha, he's a talking skull animated by necromancy generated by one of the Star Badges that's using neural impulses to pilot a robot battle suit. They're completely different things! You should know that by now" Leo lectured her.

"Why is your father a talking skull animated by necromancy generated by one of the Star Badges that's using neural impulses to pilot a robot battle suit?" Pikachu asked, stunned.

"I used some of my share of all the loot we've picked up over our many adventures to buy him a top-of-the-line robotic exo-suit so he doesn't have to sit in one place or be carried around all day. I told you weeks ago I was going to do that, didn't I?" Leo reminded him.

"Yes, but I didn't think you were actually going to…" Pikachu facepalmed. "Wait, what was I thinking? Of COURSE you were going to do that. How could I have ever believed otherwise?"

"Yeah, how could you doubt me like that?" Leo agreed. "You should know by now that I do this sort of thing every chance I get!"

"Does it have drill hands and laser-firing kneecaps and missile launchers in its butt?" Tiny asked.

"And more!" Leo said enthusiastically. Pikachu groaned.

"Meh, I could beat that," Briney said.

"I'm sure you could," Sasha said.

Briney frowned. "I'm getting a little tired of your sarcasm, missy."

Sasha gave him a confused look. "What sarcasm? I honestly believe you could beat him, just like you defeated those Tyranitar. I know how strong you are."

"…Ah. Okay then," Briney said, nonplussed.

"New Mama! New Papa!" the Gibles cheered, crowding around Leo's parents.

"Hey, kids, good to see you again! I mean, it's only been, what, five minutes?" Brad said.

"Well, you know what Leo says, dear…Talking is a Free Action and all," Judy said. They both chuckled, and Pikachu twitched.

"Mom, Dad! It's great to see you again!" Leo cried, squeezing between the Gibles and hugging his parents as best he could given that his mother was close to his size and his father was much, much bigger.

"Leo! There's my boy!" Brad laughed, reaching down and picking up Leo so he could look him in the eye. "You're looking great, son! Though I would've thought you'd have lost more weight by now given all the adventures you've been having…"

"Daaaaad!" Leo whined, kicking his legs and tail in the air ineffectually.

"Well, dear, it's probably all the rich food they've been feeding him here. Goes right to the hips, it does," Judy said.

"Ah, that must be it," Brad concluded, much to Leo's embarrassment. He sighed. "Ah, food…one of the few things this wonderful new exo-suit Leo so kindly purchased for me can't allow me to experience. I miss being able to eat…"

"Well, dear, our other children more than make up for your lack of an appetite," Judy pointed out.

"Feed us! Feed us! Feed us!" the Gibles chanted. Fantina conjured extra-large lollipops for all of them. They greedily started sucking on them.

"Hey, can I have another one?" Tiny asked.

"Certainly-" Fantina started.

"Wait, how many has he had already?" Kageie asked suspiciously.

"Uh, well…" Fantina said.

"Yeah, that's what I thought," Kageie said. "No more snacks for you until after dinner, young Pupitar."

"Aw, mooooom!" Tiny whined.

"And there's your old friends, Ash and Pikachu! Good to see them again!" Brad said, waving to Ash and Pikachu. "Your parents wouldn't stop raving about you guys on the ride over, they'll be elated to see you!"

Ash and Pikachu perked up at this. "They are?" Ash asked hopefully.

"Gee, I wonder why…" Misty grumbled.

"Yeah, it was getting kind of old…" Pichu grunted.

"Why haven't they come out yet?" Pikachu asked.

Brad shrugged. "Search me. They were right behind us…eh, it's probably not a big deal, I'm sure they'll be out soon enough."

"Yes…and then they'll see how awful you've become…" Misty hissed. Ash ignored her.

"Leo, what on Earth are you wearing?" Judy asked, staring at Leo's thong in horror.

"Traditional Yukihimi consort's uniform," Leo explained.

"I hope you're wearing more than that to your wedding, young mon! It's positively indecent!" Judy said.

"Don't worry, they have a big fancy outfit for me to wear tomorrow…right, Atlametheus?" Leo asked Lily's Golurk servitor.

The ancient servant hesitated. "What? Er, yes, yes of course. You'll look positively dashing, young Master," he said, glancing at Fantina, who nodded slightly, indicating she would have a proper suit for Leo to wear by the morrow rather than the rather…risque dress tradition for marrying into the Yukihimi family usually entailed.

"See? Nothing to worry about!" Leo assured his parents.

"Well, that's a relief," Judy said with a grateful sigh. "Oh, this is so exciting!" she squealed. "My baby boy is getting married tomorrow! Oh, and that must be Lily over there, along with all your other new and exciting friends!"

Sasha raised an eyebrow. "Did she just call us 'new and exciting?' I'm not sure how to feel about that."

"You could be completely indifferent, like me," Briney suggested.

"I suppose that works," Sasha relented

"Lily, come over here, would you? Don't be shy, dear, we just want to look at you, it'll be our first time meeting you in the ectoplasm!" Judy said excitedly.

"Um, h-hello, Leo's parents," Lily said shyly as she floated over. She had spoken to them over the Internet a few times with Leo, but while they seemed pleasant enough she was still somewhat anxious about meeting her in-laws, much like any bride-to-be. "It's a pleasure to meet you. For real, I mean."

Brad whistled as he put his son down and leaned over to get a better look at his future daughter-in-law. "Well, son, you really lucked out! You've got a real looker here! All that adventuring and getting out from under her mother's thumb and taking in the magic of this place has certainly done wonders for bringing out her inner beauty!" Lily blushed at that.

"Well, our ministrations certainly didn't 'urt, eizer," Phoebe said in amusement.

"Yes, but those chains on her face don't look quite right," Judy complained, causing Lily to flinch. "What sort of makeup is that? Or is it a tattoo?"

"It's a curse mark," Leo said curtly.

"…Ah. Right. I remember now," Judy said, looking aghast. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to-"

"It's fine," Lily said. "I'm…used to it by now."

"Not for much longer, you won't be!" Leo said. "By this time tomorrow, they'll be gone for good!"

Lily started and gave Leo an astonished look. "Wait, really? How?!"

Leo chuckled. "Whoops, didn't mean to tip my hand so soon. Just consider it a wedding present from me to you."

"But…but how!" Lily stammered. "I've been researching almost nonstop since we got here, and even Fantina said she couldn't-"

"Babe, I promised you a while back that I would find a way to break your curse, didn't I?" Leo said.

"Well, yes, but-" Lily started.

"And a DeKappa does not break his promises!" Leo cut her off. "I've figured out how to break your curse, and I fully intend to do it tomorrow."

"Wh-why not now?" Lily asked, shocked. For so long she'd been utterly resigned to her curse, and while she'd been somewhat hopeful when Leo promised her he'd break it, she hadn't entirely believed he would manage to find a way, thinking something like this was beyond even his capabilities. Clearly she had been wrong, something she was most ashamed of. She should have known by now that nothing was beyond Leo's mind.

Leo shook his head. "Can't do it now. It's a magic thing, you understand."

"Oh, of course," Lily said, actually understanding for a change, unlike most times Leo was trying to explain something to her on the first try. The most powerful of curses often required a variety of somewhat complex and arbitrary circumstances to break, and time of day or the date itself were quite often necessary components for the curse-breaking. If Leo said it would be tomorrow—and she saw no reason to doubt him, he would never lie about something like this; heck, he wouldn't lie to her at all—than tomorrow it would be.

And with that, a sudden thrill of shock and joy ran through her. Tomorrow, if Leo was correct, she would finally be free, free of her mother's last lingering hold over her and the terrible fate that had been planned for her ever since she was unborn. Before she could think about what she was doing, she grabbed Leo and kissed him full on the lips with all the passion and gratitude and pure love she could muster, causing him to go limp in surprise and pleasure while everyone else stared and most of the kids made disgusted faces and looked elsewhere. Lily probably would have maintained the kiss for several minutes if her fiancé's flailing about and muffled cries hadn't reminded her that, unlike her, he actually needed to breathe, so reluctantly broke away from him, causing him to stagger back, gasping for breath, a dazed look in his eyes.

Brad raised an eyebrow. "Oh yeah, she's a keeper." Judy kicked him, but he didn't feel it since his foot was made of metal.

Lily turned to her future in-laws and said quite truthfully, "Mr. and Mrs. DeKappa, your son is the most wonderful Pokémon alive and I can honestly say that marrying him will make me happier than I've ever been in my entire unlife."

"And we'll be just as happy to have you marry him, dear! Why, for the longest time I was worried Leo would _never_ find a girlfriend, or that he'd order one through the mail!" Judy said.

"Mooooooom!" Leo moaned.

"But we're so relieved that he found someone…especially a girl as lovely as yourself! We're overjoyed to have you become a part of the DeKappa family!" Judy said.

"Actually, it's a little more like I'm becoming part of the Yukihimi family," Leo corrected her.

"Whatever," Judy said, not caring.

"Welcome to the family, girl! Come 'ere!" Brad said, grabbing Lily in a big hug. Her eyes widened in surprise, and then she leaned against his warm metal chassis, tearing up in joy at the feelings of familial love she could practically feel bombarding her from all directions. _Is this…what it's like to have a parent who loves me?_

_It is,_ B said. _And your father loves you too, Lily…though don't expect him to give you a hug like Leo's dad._

That sobered Lily up. _My father…_

"Well, it's good to see all these family reunions," Pikachu commented. "Although I can't help but feel like we're missing one…"

"I have arrived!" Raiki declared as he stood dramatically at the top of the boarding ramp, an amused Delia standing beside him. "Sorry I'm late, had a bit of a bathroom emergency; some of the in-flight food didn't quite agree with me-"

"Honey, they don't need to know about that," Delia chided him.

"Right, sorry dear," Raiki said.

Pikachu gasped in delight. "Mom! Dad!"

"They're here!" Ash said excitedly.

"Yeah. Probably to tell you in person how disappointed they are," Misty sneered.

A guard elbowed the herald, who was once more distracted by the increasingly absurd struggle surrounding Nuken and Queen Ninianne and hindering rather than helping them break free from each other (he was lodged in deeeeeep). Missy struggling to break free of the soldiers holding her while screaming that she would murder the succubus who was trying to steal her husband from her wasn't helping. Realizing he had a duty to fulfill, he reluctantly turned away from the spectacle and declared, "Now presenting Raiki and Delia Thunderblade!" He paused, and then frowned when he noticed nobody was paying attention to him. Sulking, he turned away to watch some of the finest military forces in the world continue to make utter fools of themselves.

Daimyo Leeku paused in his drinking. "So _that_ is the great Thunder Warrior…he truly looks the part of a warrior of legend…I wonder if he would be willing to spar with me before he must return to his home?" Jujimaru had opened his mouth, not to speak, but to gape in awe. Pikachu-domo-sempai-sensei-chan-kun-sama-ore-hime-tachi's father looked so _badass._

"Ash, my boy! You're looking good!" Raiki commented as he and Delia reached their two eldest sons, hugging the both of them.

"Yeah, and not at all like a horrible world-ending monster," Misty said.

"You're looking good too, Dad," Ash said, ignoring Misty. "Hey, are those new scars?"

"Yep, earned 'em in the fight for Mount Blaze!" Raiki said proudly, spreading his arms to show off the numerous battle scars covering his form. Briney frowned briefly and looked over his own body. Surely he had more scars than that… "Quite a few are from Gal himself…but don't worry, we _more_ than returned the favor!"

"And is that our new sibling?" Pikachu asked, glancing at the yellow and black egg strapped in a pouch on Delia's belly.

"That's right!" the Raichu said, nuzzling her egg affectionately. "I couldn't bear to leave the little one at home, so I decided to bring it with us so it could meet its big brothers! Say hi!"

"Hi," Ash and Pikachu said, waving to the egg. Pichu scowled, still upset that soon he'd probably be Pichu One or A rather than having a proper name.

"We're sorry Aaron couldn't make it, Ash," Raiki said apologetically. "We know how much you two were looking forward to meeting each other, but he's still on his honeymoon and I don't think Zorra is willing to let him get away for any reason short of the end of the world…and maybe not even for that, either."

Ash winced. "It's okay," Ash lied. He'd known it was a long shot, but he'd been hoping Aaron might have been able to provide him some help with his current…condition.

"He probably wanted to avoid you out of fear of the MONSTER you're becoming," Misty said. Ash clenched his fist but said nothing.

Delia noticed and frowned. "Ash, is it…?"

"Yeah. It's her," he said curtly. They knew about his current harasser, naturally. "I'm ignoring her."

"It won't do you any good. The less you listen to me, the LOUDER I'LL GET!" she screamed in his ear, causing him to flinch.

"You leave my son alone!" Delia cried angrily, seeing the look on Ash's face.

"Thanks, Mom," Ash said, not having the heart to tell Delia she'd been yelling into thin air.

"There are so many people who care about you, Ash. They're all such idiots, especially since you'll kill everyone, no matter HOW you feel about them," Misty said.

"Hey, how'd you like to meet your newest grandson?" Ash said loudly.

"Ooh, that'd be lovely!" Delia said excitedly.

"Tiny, come over here!" Ash called.

Tiny glanced up at his mother, who reluctantly let him go. He flew over to join his father. "Hi, Grandma and Grandpa!"

"Hi, Tiny!" Raiki said. He frowned at Tiny's sailor outfit. "What on Earth are you wearing?"

Tiny sighed. "Fantina made me wear it."

"Well I'm glad she did, because you look adorable!" Raiki said boisterously, causing Tiny to groan and Fantina to titter. "And _distinguished_ with that monocle and top hat! C'mere!" He hugged the embarrassed Pupitar.

"And I suppose she made you wear that suit, too? My, my, you look so handsome!" Delia gushed over Ash, causing him to blush. "And now that we've finally found a way to actually get you into a suit, maybe we won't have so much trouble dressing you up for nice occasions, now will we?"

Ash sighed wearily while Pikachu smirked in amusement. "No, mom…"

"Wonderful! I've never understood why you always had so much trouble dressing up, your brothers never gave us as much of a hassle," Delia complained.

"That's because they _like_ wearing that kind of stuff for some reason," Ash complained.

"A samurai must be willing to wear the right attire for any occasion," Pikachu said solemnly. "Social occasions can be just as treacherous a battlefield as the plains of war, and it pays to have the proper weapons and armor to defend yourself from cutting barbs, be they from arrows or thinly-veiled insults."

"Haha, that's my boy!" Raiki said proudly while Ash and Pichu rolled their eyes.

"Tiny, it's good to see you in the flesh at long last. My, you're even bigger and stronger than I thought!" Delia said as she hugged the Pupitar, causing Tiny to blush.

"Awww, thanks Grandma," he said. "And you look much prettier than I imagined, too!"

"Oho, you're such a charmer!" Delia giggled. "Ash, you've done a good job raising him!"

"Thanks, Mom," Ash said, puffing out his chest.

"Actually, Uncle Pikachu told me to say-" Tiny started.

"Fantina, another lollipop!" Ash shouted.

"Okay!" Fantina said, conjuring another lollipop.

"No more lollipops!" Kageie growled, swiping the lollipop out of the air before it could float over to Tiny.

"Awwww!" Tiny whined.

"Can we have it? Can we have it? Can we have it?" the Gibles chanted.

"I think you've probably had enough," Judy said.

"Awwww!" the Gibles whined.

"I'll take it, then," Briney said, snatching the lollipop from the Tyranitar. "What?" he asked when everyone stared at him. "An old mon can't have some candy every now and then?" He promptly started licking it.

"Uh, right…so, Tiny! When do you think you'll have arms again?" Raiki asked.

Tiny blinked, confused by the bizarre question. "Arms? Uh…I dunno. When I evolve again?"

"Right, and when will that be?" Raiki pressed.

Tiny would have shrugged if he had shoulders. "Beats me. The last time I involved it was by drinking lots of hard alcohol, but Nurse Joy said if I try that again I might suffer permanent brain damage."

"Ah," Raiki said, disappointed.

"Ash! How could you let your son drink himself half to death like that! He's just a baby!" Delia chided the Lucario.

"It wasn't my idea…" Ash muttered.

Tiny nodded. "Yeah, it was mine."

"And you didn't stop him from going through with it?! You're his father, you're supposed to keep your children from doing stupid things!" Delia said, upset.

"Didn't seem to work with Junior…" Sapphire muttered.

"Hey!" Junior cried around the ball in his mouth.

"To be perfectly fair, Mom, he was probably about to evolve anyway," Pikachu interjected. "And Larvitars devour mountains just before evolving, so…"

"What does alcohol have to do with mountains?!" Delia cried.

"Actually, that's something I'd like to know as well," Kageie asked with a frown.

"By the time he was finished drinking, there were a mountain of empty mugs and casks," Ash said.

"…I don't think that counts," Delia said incredulously.

"Well, he evolved, so clearly it did," Pikachu pointed out. "And yes, I know it makes absolutely no sense and makes your head hurt, Mom. This sort of stuff happens all. The damn. Time."

"Well, look on the bright side, dear, at least he didn't evolve the way Bruce did," Raiki pointed out.

"That's true," Delia admitted.

"What, by eating a lot?" Tiny asked.

There was an awkward pause. "Ah, yes…eating a lot…of course…" Delia said nervously.

"That's certainly one way of putting it…" Raiki muttered. "In any case, hurry up and grow some arms already, boy! I've almost finished that sword I promised I'd make for you, but it won't be any use to you until you have something to hold it with!"

"Um, I'll do my best," Tiny said uncertainly.

"You do that," Raiki said.

"I'm still not certain I _want_ Tiny to have a sword, you know," Kageie pointed out.

"Pish-posh, Tiny's a Thunderblade!" Raiki said dismissively. "And what's a Thunderblade without a sword?"

"It's no use arguing, miss," Matthias said resignedly. "I didn't want to use a sword at first either…or walk on my hind legs…and look at me now." The Tyranitar frowned but said no more.

"Ash, Pikachu, introduce us to your friends!" Delia commanded. "I want to meet my future daughter-in-law in person!"

_I'm right here, Mrs. Ketchum, _Dawn said from right next to Pikachu. _I've been here for the last five minutes, actually._

"Oh! I'm sorry, dear," Delia apologized. "I didn't notice you. You know, ninja and all."

…_But I wasn't even_ trying_ to conceal myself… _Dawn muttered.

"Well, she certainly looks interesting," Raiki commented, extending a paw. Dawn looked at it for a moment uncertainly before shaking it. "Welcome to the family, Dawn! You'll be the first ninja ever to be a member of the Thunderblades due to our tendency to kill most of the ones we encounter."

"Dear!" Delia hissed, elbowing her husband.

"What? We do! Samurai and ninjas don't usually get along," Raiki said.

Delia rolled her eyes. "Is that why you spent most of the flight arguing with one of Nuken's minions?"

"We couldn't agree on what movie to watch," Raiki said. "And he stole my peanuts."

"Nobody likes in-flight peanuts," Delia pointed out.

"It's the principle of the matter!" Raiki insisted, causing his family to sweatdrop.

Dawn bowed graciously. _I am honored to be welcomed into your family. I shall endeavor to bring honor and dignity to the Thunderblade name and serve my husband and in-laws to the best of my ability._

"See that you do," Raiki said.

"Oh, it'll be so nice to have a girl your age around the house," Delia said, hugging the surprised Buneary. "As well as one who was finally able to catch my son's eye! I'm so happy for both of you!"

_I…am happy as well,_ Dawn said, glancing at Pikachu, who smiled at her. _More so than I have been in many years._

"Yeah, joining our family tends to do that to people," Raiki said. "Just look at Matthias! Before he met us, he was a spineless coward who was afraid of everything! Now he's got muscle, a backbone, can swing a sword with the best of them, and I'm pretty sure Collette has a thing for him."

"Wait, what?!" Ash and Matthias said.

Collette turned red. "Grandpa! I-I do not!"

"Uh-huh, sure you don't," Raiki said, clearly not believing it. Collette turned redder.

"…Collette has a crush on me?" an astonished Matthias whispered.

"It would explain a lot…like why she was so clingy during the slumber party the other night…" Pichu mused. "Heh, lucky you."

"Lucky?! She's my niece! I think…and a lot younger than me…" Matthias said.

"She's only your niece by adoption," Pichu pointed out. "And I don't think there's _that_ big an age difference between you…then again, I'm not actually sure how old you are to begin with…"

"She's not even a year old!" Matthias protested.

"And way more mature and intelligent than that, which counts more than biological age…I think…we have kinda loose laws for that sort of thing back home," Pichu said.

"I've noticed," Matthias said.

"And it wouldn't be the weirdest intra-familial couplings in this family…heck one of my distant cousins actually got married to himself!" Pichu said. "Literally…there was a magic mirror and an opposite-sex clone involved…long story."

"I'll bet," Matthias said dryly.

"Anyway, you could do worse than Collette," Pichu continued. "I mean, it's not like she's crazy like Kira or anything."

"That's true," Matthias admitted, rubbing his chin in thought. He glanced at Collette, who blushed and looked away. "…Hmm…."

_Collette has a 'crush' on Matthias? Hmm…could that be why Mimi has been acting so strangely around me lately? Their behavior has been similar. This Beartics further study,_ Mizula thought to itself.

"So, now you know Dawn and Tiny," Ash said. "Let me introduce you to the others. Guys, come over here and say hi to my parents!"

"Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Thunderblade! Leo DeKappa. It's an honor to meet you at last. You've done a great job raising Ash and Pikachu into being utter badasses, and I'm kind of a fan of some of your adventures, Mr. Thunderblade!" Leo said as he and the others came over.

"Aw, thanks, kid! Want an autograph?" Raiki asked.

"Do I!" Leo said eagerly as he whipped out his autograph book.

Delia frowned as Raiki started writing his signature in Leo's book. "Why are you wearing that?"

"Traditional Yukihimi consort outfit," Atlametheus said for what felt like the millionth time.

"Yeah, what the big guy said. Don't worry, I'm wearing something else for the big day tomorrow," Leo promised.

"That's right, it's your wedding we're all here to see, isn't it?" Raiki recalled as he handed Leo back his autograph book. "Congratulations, kiddo!"

"Heh, thanks!" Leo said.

"I wish I could have planned the wedding…oh well, I have Dawn and Pikachu's and Ash and Misty's to look forward to," Delia said cheerfully. "And I'm sure you and Lily's wedding will be quite lovely regardless. And this must be the bride-to-be?"

Lily nodded. "Yes. It is a pleasure to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Thunderblade."

"The pleasure's all ours! Congratulations on your big day!" Raiki said. "Especially since it gave us an excuse to come over and get the family back together again! Thanks for that!"

"Yeah, thanks for giving us the chance to see Daddy again!" Sapphire said.

Lily turned redder. "I-I am happy I was able to facilitate your reunion," she said.

"And you got my family over here, too!" Leo said, nodding at his parents and siblings. "Which just makes this occasion even greater! And it couldn't have happened without you, babe!" He kissed her on the cheek, causing her to blush so hard she pulled her hat over her face in embarrassment.

"And who's the big guy behind you?" Raiki asked.

"Who, my dad? I'd have thought you'd know him from the flight over," Leo said.

"We do, we had a very nice talk about heroic legacies and our sons following in our footsteps," Brad said.

"No, I meant the Golurk," Raiki said.

"Oh! That's Atlametheus," Leo said. "He's an old retainer for the Yukihimis. He works for Lily now. And for me, once I'm officially part of the family!"

Atlamethus nodded. "That is correct."

"Neat, a butler! I've always wanted one of those…" Raiki said.

"What makes you think I'm a butler?" Atlametheus asked.

"Well, aren't you?" Delia asked.

"Well, yes, I'm just wondering where he got that conclusion from," Atlametheus said.

"You just seem like the butlering type, is all," Raiki said.

"Hrmm," Atlamethus said, not sure what to make of that.

"I'm a butler too," Butler said helpfully. "And my name is Butler."

"That's not very original," Raiki complained.

"It's a family name, and I wouldn't exactly call naming your children by their species original either," Butler said.

"You're telling me," Pichu grumbled.

"Touché," Raiki admitted grudgingly.

"And is your maid friend there named Maid?" Delia asked.

"No, I'm named Diane," Diane said wearily, with the long-suffering air of someone who'd been asked that question far, far too many times.

"Oh. Sorry," Delia said apologetically.

"You already know Sasha, but this is Captain Briney," Ash said as the Absol and Metang came over.

"It is good to see you again, Mr. and Mrs. Ketchum," Sasha said, bowing her head.

"Nice to meet you," Briney said.

Raiki looked Briney up and down appraisingly. "Heh, you're a tough nut, aren't you?"

"You have no idea," Briney said. "Just last week I punched out evil gods and ice giants. What've you done lately?"

"Helped slay an insane avatar of Groudon," Raiki said.

Briney considered this for a moment. "Eh, I guess that's something."

"And this is Fantina Fantasma and her daughters Mirami, Bow, Agatha, Morticia, Phoebe, Shauntel, and Nefertari," Ash said, gesturing to Fantina. She and each of her daughters curtsied in turn as Ash said their names. "They've been a great help getting us settled here in Fichina,"

"Greetings, Mr. and Mrs. Ketchum. Welcome to our fair land of Fichina. I trust you 'ad a pleasant flight?" Fantina asked.

"Yes, except for those Arceusdamned ninjas stealing my peanuts," Raiki said. Delia rolled her eyes.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, and everyone else. We're happy to be here," Delia said.

"Yeah…and speaking of which, where's Nuken?" Raiki said.

There was a long, long pause. "Nuken?" Pikachu asked finally

Raiki nodded. "Yeah, he spent most of the flight a nervous wreck while Missy tried to help him figure out what he was going to say to Lily when he saw her."

Their eyes widened and everyone exchanged shocked glances. "…Oh, SHIT! WE FORGOT ABOUT NUKEN!" Leo shouted in horror.

They whirled around just in time to see Kairyu, exasperated at everyone else's incompetence, finally shove his way past the bickering soldiers, grab Nuken, and pluck the Shedinja from his extremely cozy prison. "THERE," he shouted. "I JUST DID YOUR JOBS FOR YOU. YOU'RE ALL SORRY EXCUSES FOR SOLDIERS AND DESERVE TO BE STRIPPED OF YOUR RANKS AND WORSE!"

"Thank you, strange Dragonite wizard I have never met before!" Nuken said, so furious that his shell looked like it was about to explode. All the Draconian soldiers quivered and backed away from him in terror. "EVERYONE HERE WHO WORKS FOR ME AND DID _NOTHING_ TO HELP ME IS TO BE STRIPPED OF THEIR COMMISSION, DISHONORABLY DISCHARGED, EXCOMMUNICATED, AND BANISHED FROM DRACONIAN TERRITORY _**FOREVER!**_"

"No they won't, dear," Missy said, floating up beside him and setting herself between Nuken and the Queen, whom she shot a look of pure venom and jealousy at.

"YOU'LL ALL BE DEMOTED SEVERAL RANKS, YOUR PAY CUT SEVERELY, AND YOU SHALL BE PERMANENTLY BLOCKED FROM FURTHER CAREER ADVANCEMENT!" Nuken said without a moment's hesitation.

"No they won't, dear," Missy said.

"YOU WILL RECEIVE A SEVERE TALKING-TO FROM BOTH HIS EXCELLENCY AND MYSELF AND PUT ON THREE WEEKS' SUSPENSION WITHOUT PAY!" Nuken amended again.

"No they won't, dear," Missy said.

"Dearest, stop undermining me in front of the rank and file, you're making me look bad!" Nuken hissed.

"Nukie-nuk, we've _talked_ about this," Missy said.

"Yes, and I've said, repeatedly, that I am _not_ going to stop being terrifying towards my subordinates! A good portion of my reputation is built on intimidation and fear, it makes it easier to convince people to do what I say without my having to get my claws bloody!" he hissed.

"Rayquaza doesn't need to rely on fear and intimidation," Missy pointed out.

"That's because he is universally beloved and has _me_ to enforce his will!" Nuken retorted.

"Nuken…" Missy said warningly.

"Fine! FINE! YOU WIN AGAIN, ALL RIGHT?!" He shouted in frustration. Whirling to face the befuddled Draconian forces again, he said, "YOU ARE ALL TO DO EXTRA DRILLS, WRITE TEN-THOUSAND WORD ESSAYS ON _EXACTLY_ WHAT YOU DID WRONG AND HOW YOU WILL AVOID IT IN THE FUTURE, ARE FORBIDDEN FROM LEAVING THIS EMBASSY UNTIL MY DAUGHTER'S MARRIAGE TOMORROW, AND ARE TO GO TO BED WITHOUT SUPPER! ARE WE CLEAR?!"

"Yes, General!" the soldiers shouted.

"GOOD! NOW _GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!_" The soldiers and ninjas all rushed away as fast as they could, not wanting to be around if he changed his mind. "THERE! _**ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?!**_" Nuken bellowed at Missy.

"Much!" The Misdreavus kissed him on the cheek. "Good job, Nuky-Nuk!"

The Shedinja twitched and had to restrain himself from cursing up a storm. "I've told you not to call me that in public."

"You're my husband, I can call you whatever I want," she said cheerfully, kissing him again and causing him to sigh wearily.

"Anyway, thank you wizard Kairyu," Nuken said, turning to Palmer. "For helping me where my own soldiers would not. Speak to me in private later and we will discuss your reward…among other things."

Kairyu bowed slowly, his eyes never leaving Nuken's as an Understanding passed between them. "I would be honored, my Lord."

In the meantime, Queen Ninianne was dressing down her own forces, though she was less loud about it as Nuken had been. "I am very disappointed in all of you," she said sternly to her soldiers, servants, and Princess Boa. "Your conduct was unbecoming of members of my armed forces. You should all be ashamed of yourselves."

"We're sorry, Mother," Princess Boa said quietly, chastened and shamefaced. "I allowed things to escalate far past the point where I should have put a stop to it. Lay the blame on me."

"I fully intend to," Ninianne said coldly. "Although I can't say I'm exactly pleased with the behavior of some of my other most trusted vassals. Ambassador Stoutroot, Daimyo Leeku, Lord Drayden, dare I ask why neither of you lifted a finger to help out?"  
The two Pokémon froze with the look of a Deerling caught in the headlights on their face. "I was afraid that, due to my size and strength, if I came into contact with the Draconians and accidentally hurt any of them while trying to extricate Nuken from your…ahem, person, it might trigger an international incident," Stoutroot said, quickly throwing his bottle away.

"And I was worried that, as densely packed as things were around you, if I attempted to come in and help you, it might only make things worse," Leeku said.

"And I was too busy being unconscious," Drayden said wearily.

"Right on top of me," Iris complained, trying to straighten out her dress, which had been rather badly wrinkled and crumpled beneath her father's weight.

"…I _suppose_ that is acceptable," the Queen said, much to their relief. "However, I am still disappointed in all of you, and we will talk more of this later."

"Yes, your Magisty," the three vassals said miserably.

"I wish to be there when you speak with Drayden," Nuken said sinisterly. "He is a citizen of my government, as well, and his conduct was _most_ unbecoming of one of our regional governors." Drayden swallowed nervously.

"Very well, but that can wait until later," the Queen said. "For now, I believe it is time for us to at last reunite you with your daughter."

Nuken blinked. "My daughter? What about-" It was then, and only then, he remembered why he had come here in the first place, and realized that Lily and her friends were standing only a few meters away, and had witnessed his explosive temper firsthand. _Not_ the best first impression to make, if her rigidity and the look of horror on her face were anything to go by. "Oh. Yes. My daughter," he said weakly.

"Don't worry, Nuky-nuk," Missy whispered, leaning close to him. "Just do everything we talked about on the flight and everything will be fine."

"I can't remember anything we talked about on the flight," he said numbly.

"Oh," Missy said, looking rather cross. She'd spent hours working with him on what he could do and say to win Lily over. "Then we may have a problem."

Queen Ninianne beckoned, and Nuken stiffly followed as she and the rest of the Fichinan contingent led himself, Missy, and Kairyu towards the cautious-looking Team Aurabolt and their allies. The Queen glanced around, looked momentarily annoyed when she realized the herald had fled as well, then shrugged and decided to just do it herself. "Lady Yukihimi, Team Aurabolt, and esteemed members of the DeKappa and Thunderblade families, allow me to introduce His Eminence Lord General Nuken Shinobu of the Draconian Empire and Her Eminence Lady Mysteriu Shinobu of the Draconian Empire. They have come a long way to meet you." She stepped aside, so that nothing stood between Lily and her father.

Neither of them moved. They stared at each other, each stricken with terror and doubt and uncertainty.

For Nuken, he was confronted with the daughter he'd spent centuries searching for, a Pokémon who'd spent her entire unlife under the thumb of the evilest witch undead, a girl he knew next to nothing about other than what Dawn had reported to him and had little, if anything, in common with him. Someone who was terrified of him, just like everyone else on Earth, rather than loving him.

For Lily, she was confronted with the father she had never known, the paternal figure that had been absent her entire unlife, a Pokémon she had absolutely nothing in common with who shared far too many characteristics with her mother for her liking, a mon she could not comprehend or relate to. Someone who claimed to love her, but hadn't done much to show it.

Missy prodded Nuken, causing him to start. He was so high-strung that his combat reflexes nearly kicked in, and he only barely managed to stop himself from decapitating her. Voice cracking, something that hadn't happened to him in…well, _ever,_ he managed to say, "L-Lily!"

Lily swallowed. Leo squeezed a tendril to remind her he was there. Mustering her courage, she managed to say, "Yes?"

Nuken started to say something, and then paused, his mind completely blank. "I…I am your father!" he finally managed to spurt out, causing a great many Pokémon to wince at how awkward and pointless that statement was.

"Y-yes," Lily stammered, equally at a loss for words. "And I am your daughter."

"Good!" Nuken said. He kicked himself for that. Seriously? 'Good?' That was the best he could do?

Another long, tense silence passed. Everyone fidgeted, feeling more and more anxious the more seconds passed. Straining his mind for conversation starters, Nuken finally came up with something simple and non-confrontational. "Y-you look very nice!"

Lily blinked, momentarily taken aback. "Um…th-thank you. You…do not look half-bad yourself."

This was a lie, of course. His robes were pretty much completely ruined from all the stampedes and collisions and people trying to pull him out of Ninianne's…tracts of land and he looked terrible and they both knew it. He appreciated the gesture, though. Somewhat encouraged, he said, "You look even lovelier than your Mother did when we first-"

He knew the second the words left his mouth that had been the wrong move, especially when her face darkened and her body stiffened. "Don't talk about my mother."

Right. Right. Of course she wouldn't want to talk about Bellum. Abyss, he didn't want to talk about her either. Who would? "Uh…" His mind, usually capable of formulating and executing brilliant tactics and strategies within seconds, was now struggling pathetically to think of something to say. "Uh…this is…my wife, Missy!" he said, pushing Missy forward, much to her surprise. "Say hello, Missy!"

Missy blinked, shot her husband an annoyed look, and then gave Lily a reassuring smile. "Hello, Lily. I'm Missy, your stepmother. I'm overjoyed to meet you at last. My husband never gave up looking for you, you know, and I'd always hoped you two would see each other someday…and that day is today, and I'm here for our first true family reunion! Isn't it wonderful?"

Lily was far from calmed down by the other Misdreavus's nonthreatening smile. She _seemed_ normal, but how could anyone sane possibly _want_ to get married to someone as horrifying as her father was said to be? The Meowth-ear accessories didn't strike her as a strong indicator of normality. And besides, hadn't Leo said that most stepmothers were evil? (Although, compared to her biological mother, she couldn't possibly be _more_ evil…) "Um. Yes. I suppose."

"She's pregnant!" Nuken blurted out somewhat desperately. "With your little half-brother. Or half-sister. I'm not actually sure which yet."

"Okay," Lily said, having absolutely no idea whatsoever how to feel about that. She already had one sibling. She didn't like her very much. She wasn't sure she wanted another.

Missy's smile started fading. Close to panicking, Nuken looked around for something to talk about, and then his eyes fell upon Leo. "Ah! Leo!"

Leo stiffened. "Y-yeah?" Lily hovered protectively close to him.

"It's…good…to see you…" Nuken said slowly, finding the words incredibly difficult to say. "Your parents wouldn't stop talking about you on the flight. Or your siblings."

Leo raised an eyebrow. "Yeah?"

"Yes. It was quite annoy—er, interesting!" Nuken said quickly starting to sweat. How odd. He couldn't remember the last time he'd sweated. "That's…an interesting outfit you're wearing," he said, casting about for another conversation starter.

"It's a traditional Yukihimi consort's uniform," Leo said.

"Ah. Good. Observing tradition. Very good. Yes," Nuken said. "Of course, the traditional Draconian consort's uniform is completely different."

"Yes, it's even more revealing. I looked it up," Leo said. He frowned. "Which doesn't make much sense since most of us don't wear clothes anyway, so what's the big deal?"

"…I have no idea," Nuken admitted.

"Well, I like my clothes," Missy said. "They make me feel pretty."

"You look pretty all the time, dear," Nuken said automatically.

"Yes, but now I feel even prettier," Missy said happily.

"Well, I think Lily looks smokin' in her outfit," Leo commented.

"_What_ did you just call my daughter?!" Nuken snarled reflexively, snapping under the tension, the awkwardness, and long-dormant paternal instinct.

"Waaahh! Nothing, nothing! I-I didn't mean that-" Leo stammered.

"Oh, so she's _not_ attractive enough for your twisted lusts? Is that what you're saying?!" Nuken asked furiously, his temper, still simmering from the various indignities he'd already suffered, burning out of control from this perceived slight. "That my daughter's not _good_ enough for you because of those scars on her face?!"

"What? No! Dude, chill, that's not what I was-" Leo started.

"Chill? CHILL? You tell _me_ to chill?! I'LL _CHILL _YOU-" Nuken roared.

"Nuken, stop!" Missy cried, only to be drowned out by Lily's screaming, "DON'T YOU _DARE_ TOUCH HIM!" followed by her spontaneously bursting into flame, her blessing from Reshiram manifesting around her.

Nuken started backwards in surprise. "Wh-what?!"

"YOU WILL _NOT_ HURT LEO!" Lily screamed, flames billowing off of her in his direction. Nuken had to quickly float back to keep from being burnt. "HE IS _MINE,_ AND I WON'T LET YOU, OR MOTHER, OR ANYONE ELSE TAKE HIM FROM ME!"

"T-take him from you?" he stammered. "I…I wasn't…I…" He paused, reassessing the last few moments. Realizing what he had said. How he had let his temper get the best of him. "I…I didn't…I didn't _mean…_" He stopped. Everyone was staring at him, with a look of shock and horror he knew all too well. A look he usually reveled in, but, for once, did not find quite as enjoyable as he usually did.

They were looking at him as if he were a monster.

Which was exactly what he was.

"I…" He shook his head slowly, despair washing over him. "I'm sorry. This was a mistake. I should never have come here."

And then he vanished, as only a ninja could.

For a moment, everyone was silent from shock. Then, Missy screamed, "Nuken? Nuky-nuk? Where are you?!" and frantically flew away, desperately searching the courtyard for any sign of her husband. Nobody noticed Kairyu step away and disappear as well.

The flames surrounding Lily dissipated, revealing that her fine garments, designed for ice sorceresses, had not survived the intense magical heat she'd generated and had turned to ash, coating her skin and falling to the ground, turning the clouds a dark gray. Sobbing, her makeup ran down her face and her hair fell out of its carefully arranged style as she collapsed into Leo's waiting arms. One by one, her friends in Team Aurabolt and among Fantina's children solemnly surrounded her and joined in on the embrace. They were followed by Leo's siblings, who wanted to comfort their sister-in-law-to-be, and Teams Awesome and GX, who wanted to join their brothers and father, and then the Thunderblade and DeKappa adults added their hugs as well, Brad looming over them in his mechanical body as they all showered the despondent Lily with their love and compassion.

_I…I do not understand,_ B whispered. _That…that is not how it was supposed to happen. That is not how it was supposed to happen at all._

"Zat…zat did not go at all 'ow I 'ad 'oped," Fantina whispered.

"That's an understatement," Diane said softly.

"Oh, Mistress…" Atlametheus said sadly.

Queen Ninianne closed her eyes and shook her head sadly. Drayden sighed. "That could probably have gone better…"

"Dad?" Iris said quietly.

"Yes, honey?" the Haxorus asked.

"I think I finally understand why everyone's so scared of Nuken Shinobu," the Axew said.

Drayden said nothing, staring at where his superior had just been. "I think he might be as well…and I'm not sure he's as happy with the knowledge as he thought he would be."

"I can negotiate peace treaties between feuding tribes and nations easily…but fixing the rift between father and daughter? That's beyond my expertise…" Stoutroot said sadly.

"Don't you have a daughter?" Leeku asked.

"Yes, and I have a great relationship with her. I have no idea where to even _start_ with the gulf between Nuken and Lily," Stoutroot said. Leeku nodded in somber understanding, wishing there were a way to improve things with his son…namely, to improve his son, period.

For a time, there was no sound across the courtyard save for Lily's weeping and Missy's increasingly desperate cries for Nuken…

Until abruptly, Jujimaru asked, "So, am I allowed to talk yet? And can I have one of those lollipops the other kids kept eating?" Everyone stared at him incredulously. "What?"

Leeku facepalmed.

…

Some time later…

After that rather disastrous event, the rest of the day had gone fairly smoothly. Team Aurabolt took their family and friends on a tour of New Avalon, narrated by Briney of all people, who wanted to put all that information on Fichina he'd read up on back in Oak's library to good use. Several of their Fichinan friends came with them to provide more up-to-date information and put a local spin on the places they saw and the people they met, and by and large they had a good time and even managed to forget about Lily and Nuken's horrible reunion for a little while.

Speaking of which, nobody had seen shell or claw of the Shedinja since he had disappeared. The Draconian soldiers and ninjas were scouring the city with the help of Fichinan law enforcement, but even with the best scryers and seers and trackers in town on the case, nobody could find any trace of the missing Nuken…or Kairyu, for some reason, but it took quite some time before anyone realized he was missing as well. Missy had excused herself from the rest of the party to help search for her husband (Which mainly consisted of her floating down the streets shouting "NUKY-NUK! WHERE ARE YOU?" at the top of her lungs), and Lily could not honestly say she was sad to see her go. The not-quite-right-in-the-head Misdreavus made her uncomfortable, and not just due to her being her stepmother, though that probably played a large part in it. In any event, with Missy gone, Lily was able to relax and get to know her soon-to-be-in-laws better…though in the back of her mind, she was still hurting badly from the way her fateful meeting with her father had gone. She'd expected it to be bad. She hadn't expected it to be _that_ bad, however.

When the Sun finally went down and they all started to get tired of their sightseeing, they adjourned to the Yukihimi estate out in the countryside for the requisite rehearsal dinner. I shan't bore you with the details of the rehearsal—especially since the events of the big day will be occurring shortly—so we shall instead skip ahead to the dinner itself, taking place in one of the estate's absolutely lavish dining halls. It was a vaulted high-ceilinged chamber so tall that a few of the Enchanted Express's cars could probably have fit inside stacked on top of each other. It was made completely of ice, naturally, along with every other room in the manor, and sparkled like diamonds. (And the actual diamonds set here and there sparkled as well.) Ice sculptures of members of Team Aurabolt, Lily herself, and several esteemed members of the Yukihimi family—not Bellum, thankfully—gracefully levitated around the room, with the most important figures receiving the largest statues. Naturally, Lily herself and her friends all got the biggest sculptures. The floor of the chamber was a frigid lake with icebergs and ice floes bobbing about with runes, friezes, frescoes, and all sorts of magnificent iconography not only depicting scenes from the Yukihimi family history but important events in Lily's life—almost none taken from the three hundred years previous to the last few weeks, naturally-carved or hollowed out into their sides. Chandeliers carved from giant icicles dangled from the ceiling, glittering diamonds and ice crystals catching the light and refracting it around the room. The ceiling was covered in clear crystalline windows allowing a spectacular view of the night sky, and one of the walls was covered in floor-to-ceiling windows showing the gorgeous glacial mountainside just outside, with Ice-type Pokémon and magical creatures occasionally walking by, taking a brief look inside at the dinner, and proceeding on their way. An ice giant had peeked in at one point out of curiosity, but scurried away when Briney glared at it.

The guests; Team Aurabolt, the Fantasmas, the DeKappas, the Thunderblades, Bianca and her father Don George, Melanie, Dean and Bob, Bruno, Brycen, the Goldorringtons, Cherry, Rebecca, Todd, Leeku, Jujimaru, Iris, Lugia, Kyurem, Princess Boa, the Queen, Mr. Sukizo, the crew of the Enchanted Express, and a bunch of nobles and aristocrats and other creatures loyal to the Yukihimi family were all seated on tables carved, naturally, out of ice and placed on some of the aforementioned icebergs and floes so that they could peacefully drift around the room and occasionaly bump into each other, leading to rather amusing arguments whenever they got too close to each other. Ambassador Stoutroot could not attend because he was still trying to smooth things over at the Draconian Embassy, and Drayden and Missy were out looking for Nuken, so could not attend. Pretty much all of the aforementioned named Pokémon were on an exclusive table perched atop a towering ice pillar rising from the center of the room, mere meters beneath the largest chandelier. Everyone was bundled up in fashionable warm clothing or heated by magical flames so as to withstand the chill and treated to an assortment of fantastic and exotic meals served by an endless procession of ice elementals, Snorunts, Spheals, Swinubs, Sealeos, Prinplups, Empoleons, Delibirds, Abomasnows, Glaceons, Beartics, Jynxes, Lapras, Cryogonals and ice trolls in very stylish tuxedos. (There were Froslasses working at the estate too, but they were forbidden from coming anywhere near Lily, for obvious reasons.) As mistress of the house, Lily sat at the head of the table, with Leo at her right side and Atlametheus standing right behind her chair, her friends and family spread out all around her as they ate and chatted and laughed and by and large had a simply wonderful evening.

A wonderful evening that came to a halt when Atlametheus tapped Lily on the shoulder and whispered, "My apologies, Mistress, but there is someone here to see you."

Lily, looking resplendent once more and every inch the wealthy heiress thanks to a touch-up from Fantina and her daughters just before dinner, reluctantly glanced away from Leo, who she'd been having more and more difficulty taking her eyes off of as their wedding approached. "Who is it?"

"A Ninjask," Atlametheus said, stepping aside and nodding towards a Ninjask standing a respectful distance away from the table clad in a black shinobi shozoko with a long red scarf. "His name is Koga. Does that name mean anything to you?"

Lily frowned and stared at the Ninjask in puzzlement. "I…do not believe so. May I help you?"

The Ninjask glided forward as silently as only a ninja could, and was hovering right next to her in mere seconds. "I apologize for interrupting your lovely dinner, milady, but I have an urgent matter to speak to you about. It regards…your father."

Lily stiffened. Shock rushed through her, followed by a rage that burned so strongly the chair she was in started melting. "I want _nothing_ to do with that mon."

"He did not send me," Koga said quickly. "Although he is nearby, he has no intention of approaching you tonight. I am here of my own volition. There is something important about him you have to know. Something that only I can tell you."

"And what would that something be?" Lily asked skeptically.

"The reason for his behavior today. The reason he is the way he is," Koga said.

"I already know what the reason is," Lily said bitterly. "He's a monster. Just like my mother."

"He is a monster," Koga agreed. "But _not_ like your mother, and not for the same reasons."

"What are you talking about?" Lily asked in confusion.

"Come with me, and I will explain," Koga said.

"That seems incredibly suspicious," Lily said skeptically.

"This is a matter of utmost secrecy. I cannot divulge it in front of so many Pokémon," the Ninjask said, gesturing at the rest of the table, who by now had noticed him and were peering at him curiously, wondering what he wanted with Lily. "And in any event, if this were a trap—which it is not—I would be unable to kill you even if I had you to myself, not here, where your family's magic is strongest and protects you from virtually all assailants."

Lily's eyes narrowed in suspicion, still not buying it. "And how do I know you're not just leading me straight to my father so he can try and give me some half-assed apology?"

"As I said before, he has no intention of approaching you, out of guilt for his actions earlier. In fact, he is strongly considering leaving and never seeing you again," Koga said.

"Good," Lily said sharply, though a part of her felt profoundly saddened and disappointed at this.

"_Not_ good. It will devastate him and break his heart…and while some could say that's impossible because he has no heart to break, or that he deserves it for the things he has done…I know otherwise. Just as I know it will hurt _you_ as well," Koga said. Lily frowned at this, an uncertain look on her face. "I will take you to your father if you wish after I give you an explanation, but only if that is your choice. If, even after hearing my story, you still want nothing to do with him, I shall leave you be…and you shall never see me or your father again. All I ask is that you hear me out first. Will you at least grant me that?"

Lily chewed her lip in thought. "I…"

"Hey, Lily, what's going on here? This guy giving you trouble?" Leo asked in concern.

"'Cause if he is, we've got no problem taking care of him," Briney said, cracking his knuckles, overjoyed at the prospect of a fight and a chance to get away from this rather dull (to him) dinner. This sentiment seemed to be echoed by most of the other guests, as they started pushing their chairs away from the table, reaching for their weapons, or glaring warningly at the Ninjask at Lily's side, who didn't seem particularly perturbed by the hostility directed at him.

Lily smiled, her spirits rising and her heart warming at the knowledge that all these people were so ready and willing to defend her honor at the drop of a hat. She was truly blessed to have such good friends and family as these. _I've come a long way, haven't I?_ she realized.

_You certainly have. I'm not your only friend anymore, Lily…and I'm happy for both of us that that's no longer the case,_ B said joyfully.

Lily glanced at Koga, frowning again. _But…I don't know. Should I do this?_

_His intentions feel honest. He cares for you, as well as for Nuken. I think you should at least listen to him, Lily. Whatever happens after that is up to you,_ B said.

Lily sighed, making her decision. _Very well._ "All right," Lily said reluctantly. "I will come with you."

"Thank you, milady," Koga said, bowing.

"On one condition," Lily said. "I want my fiancé to come with me."

Leo blinked in surprise. "Huh? Really? Sweet!"

"What, just him?" Briney complained.

"This is a private matter, Briney," Lily said. "And if there's one person I can share secrets with, it's my husband-to-be."

"You realize I can just poke around in your brains later and find it out for myself, right?" the Metang asked.

"Not anymore, thanks to the mental shielding techniques Fantina's been teaching me," Lily said, causing Fantina to smile proudly.

"And the magitech I've installed into my shell since we got here will also keep my mind from being read if I don't want it to be," Leo said smugly. "So our minds are off-limits from now on, Briney!"

Pikachu looked intrigued at this. "Hmm…is that so? That actually sounds pretty useful. I don't suppose you could make something like that for the rest of us?"

"Sure, no probs," Leo assured him.

Briney fumed. "Wonderful. Now I actually have to respect people's privacy for a change. That's no fun."

"Think of it as a learning experience," Sasha said. "Now maybe you won't be so quick to poke your nose into other people's business."

"Have you seen the size of my nose, woman?" Briney asked, pointing at the prodigious spike growing from his face. "This thing is _made_ for poking!" Many of the others laughed at that. Briney did not. He hadn't been joking.

Koga scratched his chin as he regarded Leo somewhat doubtfully for a moment. "…Very well. I suppose he might as well know as well, especially considering he's marrying into the family."

Leo blinked. "Huh? What do you mean?"

"Come with me, and I shall explain," Koga said cryptically.

Leo rolled his eyes. "Typical."

Lily floated out of her chair. "Everyone, I beg your pardon but it looks like something important has come up. Leo and I will be back shortly."

"It's no problem. Take your time," Ash said.

"Yeah, especially since it means more food for us!" Junior said eagerly, stuffing his mouth with the contents of what had to be his twenty-sixth helping, much to the disgust of his siblings, and the amusement of Leo's brothers and sister, who were doing their best to match him in an impromptu eating contest.

"Except for me…" Brad said wistfully, staring at his plate, which still had the same exact amount of food it had from when it had been placed in front of him about an hour ago.

"Chin up, Dad, I'm sure I'll figure out a way to make it possible for you to eat again someday," Leo said.

Brad smiled at that. "I'll hold you to that promise. If anyone can do it, it's you, son."

"Heh, yeah, I certainly could," Leo boasted.

"Leo…" Lily prompted.

"Huh? Oh, right, let's go," Leo said, hopping out of his chair. He paused, then whirled around and shot a look at Ludwig, who'd been surreptitiously reaching for his plate while the Squirtle's back was turned. "And nobody touch my food while I'm gone, okay?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," the Gible said, snatching his hand back and trying and failing to look completely innocent. Leo glared at him, pointed two fingers at his eyes then back at Ludwig, and turned and walked after Lily and Koga as they floated towards the edge of the ice pillar. Ludwig waited until he was sure nobody was looking, then snatched the plate, stuffed the whole thing in his mouth (yes, the plate too), chewed, swallowed, belched loudly and sat there with a beatific look on his face. Everyone stared at him. "What? I didn't do anything!" he claimed. He burped, and a piece of the plate he'd just eaten flew out and landed on Junior's plate. The Donphan grabbed it without looking and shoved it in his mouth. He paused, then turned blue and started choking. Collette gasped in horror. Ash lunged across the table, knocking over several ice sculptures and artfully arranged food platters in the process, grabbed his son, and frantically started performing the Heimlich maneuver…incorrectly, causing Junior to choke even more while everyone else started frantically yelling confusing and contradictory instructions to him which only served to make things worse. The glares on Ludwig intensified. He laughed nervously. "Uh…it was Drakor Junior!"

"No it wasn't!" Drakor Junior protested.

His siblings ignored him and chanted, "Drakor Junior! Drakor Junior! Drakor Junior!"

"New Mommy! New Daddy!" the runt whined.

"Kids, stop blaming your littlest brother for something that was obviously Ludwig's fault," Judy said without looking up from her plate.

"Yes, New Mommy," the other Gibles groaned.

"Darn it!" Ludwig cursed.

Unaware of the drama unfolding behind them, Leo, Lily, and Koga left the platform; the two flyers floating out across the indoor lake while Leo trotted across a bridge of ice pillars that rose out of the water one after another to allow him to follow in his fiance's wake. Koga led them to one of several doors fashioned into the panes of the floor-to-celing windows that opened onto exterior balconies overlooking the glacial tundra. The doors automatically swung open at Lily's approach, allowing them to exit the dining hall.

Leo shuddered slightly as they stepped out; it was even colder outside than it was inside the ice palace, weirdly enough. Lily extended an ectoplasmic tendril and touched his shoulder, casting a heating spell that warmed him up. He sighed in relief and shot her a look of gratitude. She returned the smile with a loving look of her own, which vanished as she turned to Koga. "All right. We're out here. Say your peace and leave us be. Tomorrow is my wedding, and I don't want to ruin it by getting anymore upset than I already was today."

"Yeah, you tell him, Lily!" Leo said.

"First, dismiss the ice spirits and servants nearby and disable any listening spells that might be recording what we're saying," Koga said. He glanced at Leo. "And you, Leonardo, shut off the recorders you've started playing in your shell to try and catch what I say for use as potential blackmail material later."

Leo didn't bat an eye. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Leo, turn off the recorders," Lily said.

"Babe, I don't have any-" Leo started.

"_Leo_," Lily implored him.

Leo looked at her, sighed, and shrugged in defeat. "Okay, okay." He retracted an arm into his shell for a moment. "There, they're off."

"_All_ of them?" Koga asked.

"Yes," Leo said. Koga stared at him. "Really. They're all off." Koga continued staring at him. "Honest to Arceus, I'm not recording anything."

"Leo…" Lily said.

"Oh, fine," Leo said in exasperation, retracting an arm again. "There, now they're all off. For _real_. Satisfied?"

"Not yet. Lady Yukihimi?" Koga asked, glancing at Lily.

Her eyes flickered briefly. "I've disabled the estate's listening spells around this spot and cast a privacy spell so that none of my friends back inside can hear what we're talking about, no matter how hard they try to eavesdrop, which they're currently trying very hard to do right now." She turned around and looked pointedly through the window at everyone seated at the big dining table, who were indeed all watching the three of them with profound interest. When the Misdreavus caught them staring, they quickly went back to their meals and conversations, pretending they hadn't been trying to spy on her.

"That probably won't stop Cherry, though," Leo pointed out. "She probably already knows whatever you're about to say to us."

Back inside…

"Say, Cherry, I don't suppose you know what they're-" Rebecca started conversationally.

"Not telling," the oracle said flatly.

Rebecca shrugged apologetically to the others, who sighed in disappointment. "Well, I tried."

Back outside…

"I'll deal with that problem when it comes up," Koga said. "Anyway, I brought you out here for a reason. First things first: Lily, I am your uncle."

"Say WHA?!" Leo cried at the same time Lily stammered. "Wh-what?!"

Koga nodded. "Yes, I suppose it must come as a shock."

"M-my uncle?!" Lily gasped. "How is that possible?!"

"I am your father's brother," Koga explained.

Lily blinked. "…My father has a brother?!"

"I did not know that," Leo said in astonishment. "And I thought I knew almost everything!"

_I knew it,_ B said.

_Why didn't you mention it sooner?!_ Lily demanded.

_It didn't seem important at the time,_ B said.

"Is this really that much of a surprise?" Koga asked, bemused. "Nuken is a Shedinja. _All_ Shedinja have Ninjask twins."

Leo stopped to consider this for a moment. "…You know, that's actually a good point."

"But…then why didn't anyone tell me about this?" Lily asked.

"My existence is not public knowledge. In fact, officially speaking, I don't even exist," Koga said. "That makes it easier for me to do my job. Also, Nuken does such a good job of drawing attention to himself that few if any people ever spare a thought as to who or where his Ninjask twin is, or even realize that one _must_ exist. A rather impressive act of misdirection if I do say so myself."

Leo whistled. "Yeah, really."

"Then…you are…family?" Lily asked softly.

Koga nodded. "I am. And that is why I wish to intercede on my brother's behalf, though not with his knowledge or blessing…because I fear that if he is unable to reconcile with you, then he may not have much of a future ahead of him."

Lily gave him a confused look. "What are you talking about?"

"Yeah, start making some sense already!" Leo said.

"My brother is a monster. I would be the first to acknowledge it, next to Nuken himself. Do you know _why_ he is one, however?" Koga asked.

"I don't really care," Lily huffed, although that wasn't entirely true.

"Uh…Training from Hell? Bad genetics?" Leo posited.

"That's part of it," Koga admitted. "There is a recurring strain of madness and sociopathy in our family line…"

Leo stiffened. "Wait, really? Then…hold on…does that mean when Lily and I have kids, they might…"

Leo turned red, both from embarrassment…and horror at what her fiancé was suggesting. "L-Leo!"

"I cannot say," Koga said apologetically. "Lily herself seems free of the taint of our bloodline, but that does not necessarily mean it won't manifest in any of your offspring."

"Oh no…" Lily whispered, turning pale.

"However, there are…methods to suppress those traits in a Pokémon of our family while they are still in the egg so they does not emerge later in life," Koga assured them. "It's not something we do regularly, since those traits are often a great asset in our line of work, but I rather doubt any children of yours will be doing quite the same thing mine do."

"No, they most certainly will not!" Lily said sharply…surprising herself a minute later, because she realized that, for the first time, this meant she one hundred percent actually _wanted_ children. It was rather exhilarating, and from the giddy look on Leo's face, it was clear he had realized and was experiencing the same thing.

Koga nodded. "Then when the time comes, I shall make those methods known to you. However, that has little to do with our current subject."

"My father," Lily said.

"And why we should give a damn about why he's such a jerk," Leo said angrily.

"You should," Koga said. "Because he made himself that way out of an act of love, something which I will always be grateful for and regretful of."

They gave him confused looks. "Huh? What're you talking about?"

"I do not understand," said the perplexed Lily.

"When a Nincada evolves, it splits into two beings…a Ninjask and a Shedinja," Koga explained.

"Well, duh, everyone knows that," Leo snorted, rolling his eyes.

"And did you know that when the Nincada evolves, its personality traits are divided between its two offshoots?" Koga asked.

Leo paused. "…Okay, that's new."

"What do you mean?" asked the confused Lily.

"I mean that when a Nincada evolves, the Ninjask and Shedinja are not necessarily the exact same Pokémon they were before," Koga explained. "While they share the same memories pre-evolution, afterwards they can be completely different Pokémon. Some aspects of the Nincada's personality may be dominant in the Ninjask, while other traits might be dominant in the Shedinja. Sometimes traits will even be unique to one of the two rather than being shared between them, making them completely different and unique individuals."

"Cool…" Leo said, intrigued.

Lily frowned in concern. "But…if that's the case…then doesn't that mean when you evolve, the original you…dies?"

Koga shrugged. "Well, considering a Ghost is spawned by our evolution, that's a fair way of looking at it. That's not the way our kind sees it, though. We consider it as less of a death and more of a…metamorphosis, into a new form. Then again, an argument can be made saying that that's all death itself is, really…and as ninjas, we are trained from birth not to fear death, so it doesn't really bother us much. And besides, we still have the memories of our original self even after our divergent evolution, so it's not as if that Nincada is _really_ gone, is it?"

"I suppose not," Lily admitted uncertainly.

"Huh, so it's kind of like when the Doctor regenerates?" Leo asked.

"I suppose that's one way of looking at it," Koga admitted, and Leo's esteem of him rose immensely for getting the reference at once without him having to explain it. His excitement rose when he saw the instant look of comprehension on Lily's face indicating she knew exactly what he was talking about as well. She really _did_ listen when he rambled, didn't he? _She really is the perfect girl for me…damn, I'm one lucky son of a mother…by which I mean my mother, who's pretty awesome._

"Sometimes when we evolve, the personality traits are divided evenly between the two of us so that we are both almost exact clones of the original Nincada, practically one Pokémon in two bodies, which is furthered by the empathic link we share with our twins. That is not always the case, however, and it certainly wasn't with my brother and I," Koga said.

"We can see that, you're having a way easier time talking to us than he did," Leo observed.

"Thank you," Koga said, sounding a little sad. "But…that is not how it was intended to be."

Lily frowned. "What do you mean?"

"When I was a Nincada, I was basically a fusion of Nuken and my current self," Koga said. "However, that meant that while I possessed the skills, cunning, and fighting ability both of us currently do-though in somewhat lesser degrees since I was still a Trainee-I also possessed Nuken's temper and bloodlust, untempered by discipline and control due to my youth. I was a danger to everyone around me, even my own friends and family, and certainly unfit to complete my training and fulfill my duties as a servant to His Excellency, the Holy Dragon God King Rayquaza. I spent far more time than I care to remember being punished, locked in isolation, or reprimanded for my failure to properly tame my fury…which only made it that much stronger and volatile."

"Ouch," Leo said with a wince.

"But…you aren't like that now. What happened?" Lily asked.

"I evolved," Koga said simply. "The Elders believed that by evolving me, the rage festering within me would be evenly split between my Ninjask and Shedinja selves, reducing it to more manageable levels and allowing both of us to properly finish our training and take our place among our brethren in the Dragon's Head clan, loyally serving our exalted master from the shadows. And while I was filled with anger, I also wanted to serve my king and country, so I agreed to the somewhat…unorthodox training program they proscribed in hopes it would allow me to finally be somewhat…normal, something I had secretly craved ever since I was aware of just how _different_ I was from everyone else."

"…Oh my," Lily said quietly.

"That sucks, dude. I've been there," Leo said sadly. "Well, not _exactly _there, but I know what it's like to be different and wish you could fit in…but then I realized being different is AWESOME and there's no reason for me to conform like the rest of those Mareep and decided to love me for who I was, which, uh, wasn't exactly an option for you, was it?"

Koga shook his head. "No, it wasn't."

Lily frowned. "When you say…'unorthodox training,' what do you mean?"

"My anger issues and violent outbursts made me a threat to myself and my brethren, so they put me on an accelerated—and _extremely _dangerous—training regimen to fast-track me to evolution as quickly as possible," Koga explained. "I also attended frequent therapy sessions—not that those helped me any—and volunteered to take part in a series of experiments to try and enhance my characteristics and abilities to create an 'ultimate ninja,' so that once I evolved both myselves would be capable of surpassing the limits of our kind and becoming among the greatest warriors in the history of the Draconian Empire. As my brother's infamy demonstrates, it worked. Well, _that_ part did, anyway."

"It certainly didn't, not if he's still such an angry jerk," Leo complained.

"What happened? Did something go wrong with the experiments? Leo told me that sort of thing happens all the time," Lily asked in concern. She frowned. "Which begs the question of why they do those experiments in the first place…"

Koga shook his head. "No, the experiments worked perfectly. I became one of the strongest and deadliest Nincadas to ever live, and thanks to the accelerated training I was on the verge of evolution, which would cause the abilities of both my Ninjask and Shedinja selves to exceed the wildest expectations of our teachers and peers. However, when I evolved, something…happened."

"What?" Leo and Lily asked.

"As I started to split in two, I could feel my personality beginning to divide. However, rather than my traits being evenly shared between the two of us as had been hoped, they were almost randomly scattered between us, despite the training we'd performed to try and keep that from happening," Koga said.

"And let me guess, all the bad stuff you were trying to mitigate between you instead consolidated in one big lump and went into Nuken?" Leo guessed.

"No, it went into _me_," Koga said.

"Bwah?!" Leo bwahed.

Lily started. "Wh-what?! But…but you seem so…"

"Calm? In control?" Koga said. "I am…because of my brother's sacrifice."

"What do you mean?" Lily asked.

"When my brother developed enough of a consciousness to become at least partially self-aware in mid-evolution, he realized what was happening to me, and was horrified. When we were one, all we had ever wanted was to be closer to normal, and now it looked as if one of us was going to be denied that chance permanently. So, he did possibly the most selfless act he would ever commit: he used the link between us, still very strong due to the fact that we hadn't fully separated yet, to instead draw as much of the rage and bloodlust beginning to fill me into himself as he could, sending as many of the more positive traits he'd already absorbed to fill the void the anger had left and keep me from being empty. By the time I realized what he was doing, it was too late to reverse the process and the evolutionary separation was complete. I became Koga…and he became Nuken," Koga said quietly. "He made himself into a monster to give me a chance at normality, while he…he condemned himself to spend the rest of his days as remorseless killing machine, feared and hated by nearly the entire world."

They stared at him in astonishment. "_Dude_," Leo said finally. "That's…that's _heavy_, mon. I didn't think him _capable_ of something like that!"

"He isn't, now," Koga said sadly. "At least, I don't think he is. But once, he was…and now, he never will be again."

"My…my father…did that?" Lily whispered in astonishment.

"He did," Koga said with a nod. "He sacrificed himself to keep me from becoming like what he is now…something for which I am eternally grateful, and eternally sorry."

"…Damn," Leo said, scratching his head.

Lily's face twisted in anguish and uncertainty. "But why…why did he act that way to Leo before, then?"

Koga sighed. "My brother is a brilliant tactician and politician, an exceptional warrior and advisor…but a terrible ninja, and not…good with people, though I suppose that's a bit of an understatement."

"Ya think?" Leo asked sardonically.

Lily frowned in puzzlement. "What do you mean, he's a lousy ninja?"

"He lacks the proper emotional restraint, which I possess," Koga explained. "His fury burns hot and passionate…which is rather ironic, considering he's weak against fire. A ninja must be swift, silent, stealthy, and discrete. While Nuken can be swift, silent, and stealthy when he _really_ wants to be, discrete isn't something he does very well."

"Yeah, I got that," Leo said.

"He is a terror on the battlefield, but has difficulty mustering the proper patience and control for assassinations or stealth ops missions, which is why he usually delegates those to me, though he leads from afar and gets official recognition for successful assignments…or as much recognition as can be given for things that the record states the Draconian Empire was never technically involved in, anyway," Koga explained.

"And that is why he's a bad ninja," Lily said.

Koga nodded. "Precisely. As for interpersonal relations…I got the majority of our empathy, so while Nuken _can_ relate to other Pokémon, he finds it difficult, and it's easier just to intimidate them into doing what he wants rather than fostering friendships with his subordinates and colleagues. That's not to say he _has_ no close relationships, just not many, and the ones he does have he cherishes deeply. Even so, he's aware that such relations are fragile, and it's a constant struggle for him to keep his emotions and other issues under control to maintain such ties. The fact that just about everyone's afraid of and dislikes him and his contempt for nearly everyone else don't help matters. It was as much a surprise to him as to everyone else that Missy doesn't seem to care about how horrible a Pokémon he is and loves him anyway…although she may be at least borderline insane and is _definitely_ suffering from some kind of denial and possibly some delusions as to what kind of person Nuken really is. He once told me, 'I have known many deranged people in my life, myself included, but never encountered the kind of profound, mental instability that Missy possesses in anyone other than Bellum or, again, me. Missy is a psychopath. She may have everyone else fooled, but I know the truth. Why else would the kindest, most beautiful, generous, and intelligent woman in the world, love someone like me?'"

"…That is extremely depressing," Leo said after a moment of stunned silence.

"That he thinks his wife is insane or that he considers himself so bad that she _must_ be insane to want him?" Lily asked.

"Both," Leo said.

"To be fair, the last woman who claimed to love him was _Bellum_, so he has a pretty good reason to believe only insanely evil Pokémon could ever see anything appealing in him," Koga pointed out.

"That's true," Lily admitted.

"Does…he really hate himself that much?" Lily asked.

"…It's not hatred so much as profound awareness of his own flaws," Koga said after a moment. "He knows he's a monster, but for the longest time believed that it was…well, all right for him to be that way. He saw it as a necessary quality for him to have so that he could better serve his King and country, and, while he was aware that he was driving others away and making himself feared by just about everyone, even the very few people he was able to feel the slightest bit of compassion towards, he believed his lack of empathy a necessary sacrifice to be the kind of Pokémon the Draconian Empire _needed_ to continue to be one of the greatest powers in the world. And to an extent, he's correct; if Nuken were not _exactly_ the kind of person he was, we might not have managed to prosper as we have. But now…for the first time in his unlife, he's starting to wonder, if maybe, just maybe, he was wrong."

"…Why?" Lily asked quietly.

"Because of you," Koga said.

Lily started. "M-me? What do you mean?"

"Lily, he has been searching for you for centuries. You are his firstborn child and, for a while, the only child he thought he would ever have. He loves you. He _wants_ to love you. He wants to be with you and for you to love him. And yet, the first time you and he at last met face to face…he had no idea what to do. He has forsaken healthy social ties and compassion for so long that he has no idea how to behave in any manner that isn't frightening or intimidating towards someone, and even less of a clue how to express his affections. He is suddenly realizing that maybe being a monster _isn't_ the solution to all his problems, and may, instead, just drive away those few people he is capable of caring about…something he hasn't even realized might actually happen until just now, which is why he is currently in hiding, and won't appear even to his wife, who is wandering the streets of New Avalon screaming his name. He is _afraid_, Lily…something that I can count on my digits ever having happened before."

"You only have two claws," Leo pointed out.

"_Exactly,_" Koga said.

"…He…he is…afraid?" Lily whispered.

"Very much so. He has become a slave to his anger, much as your curse enslaved you to Bellum, and continues to bind you to Giratina…and, just like you, he's not sure he can ever be free of it," Koga said. Lily grimaced, both at the comparison and at the reminder of her curse.

"I'm going to free Lily from her curse," Leo said determinedly.

"And are you going to free Nuken from his, as well?" Koga asked skeptically.

Leo's face fell. "Well, uh…no, I guess not. I mean, can't he take anger management or…"

"Didn't help," Koga said.

Leo sighed. "Typical."

"He's afraid…of himself…" Lily murmured.

Koga nodded. "Indeed. Especially because…he has a new child on the way. Your half-daughter or brother, Lily. And he fears for that child's future, and is he own…for if he cannot make peace with you, Lily, how can he _ever_ hope to be a good father to that child, or a husband to Missy?"

"Good question," Leo muttered.

"…Why are you telling us all this?" Lily asked.

"Because Nuken is my brother, and I love him, and I am worried he is going to make a terrible mistake," Koga said. "Right now he is contemplating leaving Fichina and staying out of your life forever for fear that he will destroy what little happiness you've finally been able to find just by being his ordinary horrible self…and while I can't say there's not a chance he's _right_, that does not mean he should give up so quickly, for if he does, who's to say he might not decide Missy and their child would be better off without him either, and cuts himself out of their lives as well? And again, while he may not be wrong, should he not at least try first before simply abandoning them?" He shook his head. "And aside from that…I fear that if he does this, if he casts everyone away for their own 'protection,' without their love and guidance he may descend into a darkness from which he may never emerge…for it is his loyalty and ability to feel compassion, no matter how slim it may be, that keeps him from being someone as evil as your mother."

Lily's face scrunched up in disgust at the mention of Bellum. "And…what do you want me to do about this?"

"What I want doesn't matter. What do _you_ want, Lily?" Koga asked.

Lily blinked. "Me?"

"After learning about your father, the choice is up to you. Do you wish to do anything in the first place, or do you wish to leave him be?" Koga asked.

Lily looked uncertain. "I…don't know," she admitted. "I'm afraid of him, and still a bit angry for what he did before, but…I don't _hate_ him, and I don't want him to do what you're describing. I don't want him to throw away possibly his last chance of being loved or having a family."

"Not hating him is a good start," Koga said. "If you wish to see your father and try to talk him out of this, I can take you to him, though that is not what he wishes…but sometimes, the most important things in life aren't the ones you want to happen."

"And what if I choose to ignore this?" Lily asked.

Leo gave her a shocked look. "Lily!"

"Then you shall never see me or your father ever again," Koga said. "And again, I cannot say this is necessarily a bad thing. However…ultimately, it is up to you. What will you do, Lily?"

"Lily-" Leo started.

"Give me a moment to think," Lily interrupted, much to Leo's surprise. Chastened, he remained silent. _…What should I do?_

_I would think the choice is obvious,_ B said.

_I know what the _right_ thing to do is, but…is it what _I_ want?_ Lily asked.

_I'm surprised you're even considering not going, actually. It doesn't seem like you,_ B commented.

_If I were given a chance to never see my mother again, I would take it,_ Lily said.

_Nuken isn't your mother, though,_ B pointed out.

_I'm aware of that, but even knowing that, and the reason why he is the way he is, it's difficult for me to just…forget what he might have done to Leo if he'd truly lost his temper, and if I hadn't been there!_ Lily said.

_That's true,_ B admitted. _But there's one thing you're forgetting._

_And that is?_ Lily asked.

_What's the significance of the badge you're wearing?_ B asked.

_My badge? What do you-_ Lily glanced down at the badge pinned to her ice-colored gown and froze. The Rescue Team Badge, a bejeweled egg-shaped piece of metal with wings spreading from the sides, glittered in the light shining through the windows from the dining hall. While Fantina and Atlametheus had convinced her that as the new head of the Yukihimi household she needed to dress the part in formal occasions, she refused to go anywhere without the badge, just as she didn't go anywhere without Leo's engagement ring in her hair, or her Rescue Team scarf wrapped around her neck under her pearls, or her old worn witch's hat which she used magic to transfigure into whatever chapeau the occasion called for rather than replace with a new one.

_What is the significance of that Badge?_ B repeated when Lily didn't respond after staring at the badge for a few moments.

_It's…a Rescue Team badge,_ Lily said.

_Which means?_ B prompted.

_That…I am a member of a Rescue Team,_ Lily said slowly.

_And what is it that Rescue Teams do?_ B asked gently.

Lily closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and looked up, her face set in a resolute expression._We help those in need, no matter what._ "Take me to my father."

If Koga felt any relief, he didn't show it. "Very well. Please come with me."

"Yatta! I knew you'd make the right choice, Lily!" Leo said excitedly.

Lily smiled in self-deprecation. "I suppose it was inevitable, wasn't it? Come on, let's go see my father."

"Right!" Leo paused. "…Wait. Actually…no. No, I don't think I will."

Lily did a double-take. "Wh-what?! But…but Leo…"

"Lily, this is between you and your dad," Leo said calmly. "Whatever it is you two need to talk about, you don't really need me for it. This is something you've gotta do on your own."

"But I thought you said that whenever it's something someone has to do on their own, that means their friends should and _do_ follow to help them out!" Lily protested.

Leo smiled sadly and shook his head. "Not always, babe. Not always."

"But Leo-" Lily protested.

"Lily, this is a family matter…and I'm not family yet, not until tomorrow, anyway," Leo continued. "We both know I'd only get in the way and probably say something stupid that will set your Dad off like I did earlier today—tell him I'm sorry about that when you see him, by the way—and that you'll probably have an easier time getting through to him on your own."

"But Leo, I _need_ you!" Lily said desperately. "I know I've changed a lot and grown stronger since leaving Mother, but I wouldn't have become the Pokémon I am now without you and the others…_especially_ you! You're my inspiration, my rock, my source of strength, the Pokémon I love more than anyone else and the embodiment of all my hopes for a future free of the curse of my past! I can't do this on my own, not without you!"

"Lily, look at me," Leo said sternly. "Calm down and look me in the eye."

"But Leo-" Lily started.

"_Look_ at me, Lily!" Leo ordered, whipping off his sunglasses and glaring at her.

Lily quieted and looked into her fiance's deep red eyes. As always, she couldn't help thinking how beautiful they looked. Was that weird of her? She wasn't certain. "Now," Leo said softly. "Do you have the ring I made you?"

"Of course I do," Lily said.

"Show me," Leo told her. Lily turned around to show him that she was using the ring to help fasten her hair up in the elaborate arrangement Fantina's daughters had put it in earlier. Leo nodded in satisfaction. "Okay, now look at me again."

"All right," Lily said, turning around to face Leo again. "But what are you-"

"That ring is a piece of me," Leo said. "Both literally as well as symbolically, I think I may have cut or burned myself a few times while making it so I wouldn't be surprised if some of my blood or skin cells got mixed up with the other materials I used to craft it."

"Oh my," Lily said in alarm.

"Don't worry, it didn't hurt…much…" Leo lied. "Anyway, my point is, that ring is a piece of me. I gave it to you as a gift from my heart. It's a symbol of our relationship and our bond with each other, which will be everlasting as soon as I figure out how to live forever, which I'm _definitely_ gonna do sooner rather than later, I promise, since I don't want you to have to live forever with a broken heart due to me dying of old age or something because that would really suck and I'd _never_ want to hurt you like that, Lily, not even indirectly."

Lily's eyes moistened. "Oh, Leo…"

He reached out a hand and touched her on the shoulder. "What I'm saying is…as long as you have that ring with you, a piece of me, that means I'm always with you, even when I'm not _physically_ with you, you get what I mean?" He moved his hand to rest just above where her heart would have been, if she had one. "If I'm in your heart—or in your hair, I guess—then it's like I've never left your side, and you can't be missed if you've never left, right?"

Lily stared at him wordlessly for the longest time before leaning forward and kissing him with all the passion and love she could muster, which was quite a lot. When she finally broke away, disappointed as always that it never seemed to be long enough due to that pesky problem of Leo needing to breathe occasionally, she said, "Leonardo DeKappa, the day I met you is the day my unlife really began."

"Y-yeah," Leo stammered, his face extremely red both from the kiss and his lungs being mostly empty of air. "Me too, babe. Well, not my _unlife_ since I'm not dead, but you know what I mean."

Lily laughed and kissed him again, softer this time. "I love you," she said.

"I love you too," he said with a smile.

Smiling back, Lily turned to face Koga, who'd been silently watching the whole thing with no expression on his face. (Could they tell if he had, though? Ninjasks were pretty hard to read.) "I'm ready."

"Come with me," Koga said, floating to the edge of the balcony, snow swirling around him as he left the protected environs of the manor.

Lily started after him, but turned back to glance at Leo. "Tell everyone I'll be back soon. I had a…family emergency to take care of."

"Heh, you can count on me, Lily," Leo said.

Lily smiled. "I know." She blew a kiss at him. Literally. Using magic she caused a small light construct shaped like her lips to fly through the air and grace Leo's mouth. Leo giddily noted that it tasted just like her. Giggling at how the kiss seemed to have sent him into a stupor, she flew off with Koga into the glacial wastes, vanishing in the white fog of the snow.

Leo sighed happily as he watched her go. "I love that womon. I am the luckiest guy alive." He pulled out a handheld device and flipped it open to reveal a screen displaying an overhead view of the manor and the surrounding estate, with a flashing dot slowly moving away. "And when I said I'd always be with you, I _meant_ it. Just because I don't think anything bad's gonna happen between you and your Dad doesn't mean the tracking device I installed in your ring in case the tracker in your Badge stops working won't come in handy if I need to know where you are in a hurry. Hmm, should probably suggest she put some sort of tracking rune on me for the same purpose…wanting to know where your spouse is at all times isn't creepy, is it? I mean, we live a dangerous lifestyle, so it's probably a good idea to always know how to keep tabs on each other." He paused. "…I should probably stop talking out loud to myself, huh?" He shuddered as a gust of wind blew over the balcony. "I should probably get back inside. Kinda weird that it's actually warmer in a freaking ice palace than out in a frozen glacier. Here I thought we were through with this kinda weather after Dusty Ditch…"

He went back inside and returned to the table. "I'm back," he announced to his friends and family, who were doing their best to pretend they'd been eating and talking all along and that they hadn't been doing their best to spy on him, Lily and Koga in their absence. "What'd I miss?"

"Your friends were telling us all about how you and Lily first got together," Brad said.

"Did you _really_ temporarily go insane due to not having any Internet reception and think you were a pirate from one of your computer games?" Judy asked.

"Yep," Leo said without the slightest hint of shame. "Not one of my proudest moments, I'll admit."

"And neither was your getting drunk after drinking a single coconut-cup's worth of non-alcoholic fruit punch," Briney said dryly.

"Hey, those pirates _had_ to have slipped something in there," Leo said defensively. "They're pirates after all, they do dirty tricks like that all the time."

"Uh huh, just keep telling yourself that, boy," Briney said.

"It's all right, Leo, not everyone can hold their licquor like Tiny here!" Raiki said proudly, gesturing at Tiny, who was eyeing some of the wine the adults were drinking with mixed feelings of desire and uneasiness.

"That's not really something to be proud of," Kageie commented.

"Hey, it helped my sons and their friends win the loyalty of an entire ship's worth of undead pirates, _and_ evolve, so I'd say it's _definitely_ something to be proud of!" Raiki said as Delia sighed in exasperation. Pikachu gave her a sympathetic look.

"Aw, thanks Grandpa!" Tiny said happily. "Say, I don't suppose I could have some of-"

"Tiny!" Ash hissed. "I thought you were through with alcohol!"

"So did I, but I still want some!" Tiny said longingly.

"Nurse Joy said you could have permanent brain damage!" Ash protested.

"And she can fix me up! She's Nurse Joy, that's what she does!" Tiny said desperately.

"Tiny, no! No more drinking, ever! Unless it's a life or death emergency," Ash said. Kageie frowned. "What? I'm not exactly endorsing his behavior either, but it _did_ save us from getting killed and turned into undead pirates." The Tyranitar grumbled but said nothing.

"So, 'ow did your little talk with zat 'andsome ninja fellow go?" Fantina asked nonchalantly.

"And where _is_ Lily, anyway?" Bow asked in concern.

"Oh, she had to step out for a minute. Family emergency," Leo said.

Everyone looked at him for a moment, waiting for him to elaborate. He did not. "Well?" Pikachu asked.

"Well what?" Leo asked.

"What _kind_ of family emergency?" Pikachu asked.

"Oh. Can't tell. It's private," Leo said.

Pikachu blinked in surprise. "Huh. Never thought I'd hear those words from you of all Pokémon."

"Hey, I can be discrete!...sometimes," Leo said.

"You told the entire Internet when Dawn and I slept together for the first time on your blog only minutes after you found out about it," Pikachu said flatly.

"How did you know that? You don't even read my blog!" Leo said in surprise.

"No, but my little brother does. And my father," Pikachu said wearily.

"That we do. Great stuff, Leo!" Raiki said.

"Yeah, it's always hilarious to read about how my brother's growing closer and closer to losing his mind on a daily basis!" Pichu said.

"Heh, thaks to oblige!" Leo said.

"Thank you so much for letting my family know about the private details of my interpersonal relationships," Pikachu said coldly.

"You're welcome!" Leo said cheerfully.

_I can still assassinate him, you know,_ Dawn tapped out on Pikachu's leg under the table so nobody noticed. _I could make it look like an accident. And with all the magic here, it's not like he'd stay dead for long…_

"…Let's wait until after the wedding. Don't want to ruin his and Lily's big day," Pikachu muttered, strongly considering it.

"So, you're not going to tell us _anything_ about what happened out there?" Rebecca prompted desperately. "Because this one over here's not saying anything."

"No, I'm not," Cherry said.

Leo shook his head. "Sorry, my lips are sealed."

Everyone sighed in disappointment. "I don't suppose Lily will be willing to tell us what happened when she gets back?" Delia asked.

"Doubt it," Leo said.

_When _will_ she be back?_ Dawn asked.

"When she's good and ready," Leo said dismissively, much to their continued frustration. "Now, let's forget all this and get back to business, namely, eating, shall we?" He got back in his seat, reached for his silverware, and blinked in surprise when he noticed his plate was empty. In fact, his plate was gone altogether. "Hey, I thought I said nobody was to touch my food while I was gone! Who ate my dinner?!"

"It was-" Ludwig started.

"Ludwig!" Drakor Junior cried, beating him to the punch.

"Ludwig! Ludwig! Ludwig!" the other Gibles chanted.

"Darn it!" Ludwig cursed.

"Shame on you, stealing your brother's food!" Junior said while reaching over to Sapphire's plate with his trunk. Collette glared at him. "What?"

"Bad Ludwig!" Leo shouted, smacking him with a rolled-up newspaper he produced from his shell. "No more dinner for you!"

"You can't actually enforce that, honey," Judy said.

"Okay, you do it!" Leo said.

Judy gave him an incredulous look. "Honey, _nobody_ can tell them not to eat. You know how voracious their appetite is."

"Heck, the others are trying to eat the table while we're talking!" Brad pointed out. "Good thing it's made of ice, or else we'd have to pay for furniture damage, which I'm pretty sure we don't have the budget for, especially not furniture in a place _this _fancy."

"S-s-s-so cold," Lemmy shuddered, suffering the ill effects of eating ice, which wasn't particularly healthy to a Dragon-type.

"Brain freeze! Brain freeze!" Morton moaned, cradling his head.

"Mah tug! Ah cat feel mah tug!" Wendy yelped, trying to pull her stuck tongue off the side of the table.

"More stomach than brains, I see," Matthias commented.

"Just like Junior. And Ash," Pichu commented.

"Hey!" Junior and Ash cried.

"Fine, I can't stop you from eating, but don't eat any more of my food or I'll squirt you with this," Leo said, pulling out a spray bottle.

"Eep! Not the face, not the face!" Ludwig squealed in terror, covering his face with his grubby claws.

"Why did we agree to come here again, when the last thing we wanted is to be surrounded by these weirdos again?" Coil muttered to Sparkler as Leo tormented the Gible with his spray bottle.

"Because the bosses told us to, and you do _not_ turn down an invitation from one of the biggest up-and-coming aristos and heroes the whole country is talking about without serious repercussions," the Ampharos replied.

"True," the Magneton admitted. "Oh well, at least the food's good. And it could be worse. We could be like Rono."

"I wonder how the poor guy is making out, anyway?" Sparkler wondered.

Elsewhere…

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUU GHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUGGG GGGGGGGGHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUG GGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!" Rono the former Enchanted Express engineer screamed as he thrashed about in horrible agony, straining the heavy-duty Rheanium chains bolting him to the ground as glowing circuit patterns etched their way into his armor, spikes slowly started extruding their way from his body mass, which was growing less rounded and more boxy and angular as time went on, his organs were violently melted down and completely reconfigured,his bones restructured themselves and grew circuitry connecting them to other parts of the body, his blood was transformed into caustic liquid Energon burning him up from within, his DNA was being rewritten from a double helix into the standard five-stranded Cybertroniasknucleic acid (CNA), and his body was irreversibly transformed on a cellular, if not _molecular_ level. As a Steel-type, he had always been more metal than organic matter, but now he was being turned completely into a machine, a process which wasn't in the least bit pleasant. Neither was his forced evolution into a Lairon, for that matter.

Outlaw cackled malevolently and rubbed her claws together with glee. _**"Yes…yeeeessss…it won't be much longer, my pet. Soon, you will leave that inferior frame behind and obtain the perfect Cybertronian form that is your right as my slave! Gwahahahahaha!"**_

"AAAAUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGH! AAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHH !" Rono screamed.

"Finished that Energon goodie cake you wanted," Sam said, carting over a violently glowing cake several heads taller than he was made of a variety of pink rods fused together that looked extremely radioactive and he probably shouldn't have been anywhere within several miles of it without wearing a lead suit, which he certainly wasn't.

"_**Oooh, excellent, I was getting hungry,"**_ the Decepticon said, ripping off a chunk of the cake and shoving it in her mandibles.

Sam frowned and put his hands on his hips. "And what do we say?"

Outlaw grunted, causing hot pink droplets to dribble down her chin and sizzle when they hit the ground. _**"It's adequate."**_

"Thanks," Sam said. He frowned at Rono, who was still writhing and screaming. "He's still not done?"

"_**Cyber-conversion is a lengthy process. It's a good thing he's already made of metal, or else this would be taking even longer,**_" Outlaw said through another chunk of Energon goodie cake.

"Ah," Sam said. "Should he be screaming like that?"

"_**Yes,"**_ Outlaw said. _**"It's how you know it's working. Now, if he **_**weren't**_** screaming, that's when we should be concerned."**_

"All right," Sam said. "But…I thought you were going to give him anesthetic?"

"_**He **_**is**_** on anesthetic,"**_ Outlaw said.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!" Rono screamed.

"Doesn't sound like it," Sam said.

"_**Well, it's not **_**my**_** fault his inferior Pokémon constitution requires more anesthetic than I have on hand, now is it?!"**_ she snapped.

"I suppose not," Sam said, not really caring.

Outlaw glanced at a purple-pink fire blazing nearby in a pit made from dumping and igniting several Energon cubes. It was probably extremely toxic to the soil, but neither of them cared very much. _**"Hmm…according to my chronometer, it should be ready…"**_ She reached into the fire and pulled out a very long Cybertronian-sized branding iron with the Decepticon emblem at its end, blazing with an evil glow. _**"I was going to wait until he was fully converted to do this, but I suppose now is as good a time as any to perform the Rite of the Deceptibrand."**_

"Doesn't that hurt?" Sam asked.

"_**He's already in so much pain now, he'll never notice,"**_ Outlaw said.

"Good point. By that reasoning, now _is_ the perfect time, rather than hurting him more later," Sam agreed.

"…_**Great, now you're giving me a good reason not to do it this instant…eh, I've already got the Brand ready, we might as well,"**_ Outlaw said.

"Fair enough," Sam said, sitting down to watch.

Outlaw stood up so that she loomed over Rono…more than she already did, anyway. _**"Rono, in honor of your impending successful Cyber-conversion, the time has come to officially initiate you into the ranks of the Decepticons. Now, repeat after me: **__**I pledge my unquestioning loyalty to Megatron and the Decepticon cause.**_**"**

"AAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGG GGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Rono screamed.

"_**I shall devote my spark to achieving our goal of a Decepticon-controlled Cybertron, by any means necessary.**_**"**

"AAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGG GGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Rono screamed.

"_**And annihilate all who stand in our way!"**_

"AAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGG GGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Rono screamed.

"_**Surrender is not an option."**_

"AAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGG GGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Rono screamed.

Outlaw shrugged. _**"Eh, close enough. Welcome, brave Decepticon. Your destiny awaits!"**_ With that, she pressed the bond into Rono's forehead.

If they'd though the Lairon's screaming was loud before, now it was almost ear-splitting and deafening in its volume. Fortunately, both Outlaw and Sam were used to screaming so didn't bat an eye. "Well, that was exciting," Sam said as Outlaw pulled the branding iron away, revealing that the Decepticon emblem had been branded into the Lairon's cranium. Additionally, his eyes had turned red, and his colors had gotten several shades darker.

"_**It was, wasn't it? Brings back fond memories of my own branding,"**_ Outlaw said wistfully.

"Didn't you scream like the dickens and cry for several hours afterwards?" Sam asked.

"_**NO!"**_ the Decepticon DeSoto bellowed.

"Really? Huh, I guess I remembered wrong," Sam said. He scratched his chin. "Say, weren't we supposed to be doing something? Something important?"

Outlaw frowned in thought. _**"Hmm. I don't remember. Maybe Max does. Max? Is there something we're supposed to be doing right now?"**_ There was no response. _**"Hey, where'd he go?"**_

Sam snapped his fingers. "Oh, that's right, Max was kidnapped by the Nihilators. We really should get on that, shouldn't we?"

"_**Yes, we should,"**_ Outlaw agreed.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGG GGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Rono screamed.

"_**Right after we're done here,"**_Outlaw said.

Back in Fichina…

"I pray for his soul," Sparkler said.

"Yeah, me too. Hey, pass the iron filings, I could use more of that in my diet," Coil said. The Ampharos complied.

"Leo, stop tormenting your brother, no matter how much he deserves it," Brad said.

"Yeah, Brother Leo, stop tormenting me no matter how much I…waaaaaiiiiit…" Ludwig said, a confused look on his face.

"Eh, fine, " Leo said, putting the bottle away. "I'll just get some more chow to replace the stuff SOMEBODY took without permission." He clapped his hands as an ice troll passed by with a platter laden with more foodstuff. "Yo, Akita Neru! Get me some more vittles chop-chop before I do to you what I do to your Internet counterparts! Oh, and those cousins of yours from Niflheim."

"Yes, milord," the troll growled as it stomped over and unceremoniously gave Leo a new plate and dumped several helpings of food on it, grumbling to itself that its name wasn't Akita Neru.

"Sweet!" Leo said eagerly, grabbing his silverware. "Oh mon, being the husband of a super-rich super-hot super-magical babe with servants at my beck and call and access to almost unlimited wealth is gonna be so awesome! I can't _wait_ to go mad with power and lord it over everyone else!" Everyone exchanaged worried and horrified looks at this proclamation.

Despite their reluctance to drop the subject of Lily's absence, slowly conversation around the table resumed to talking about Team Aurabolt's exploits, discussing what everyone had been up to back in their hometowns or how they'd been dealing with recent events, and the wedding the next day. It wasn't until much later in the evening that Lily reappeared, looking exhausted but with a smile on her face so radiant it lit up the room. When pressed, she would only say that 'everything had been taken care of' and that it was 'all right now,' but wouldn't go into details.

Much to everyone's surprise, Leo seemed to have no interest in finding out what Lily had been up to, saying, 'Some things are a lady's business and no interest of mine. Like what they do in the bathroom once a month when they start bleeding-'

They'd shut him up after that, thankfully, though the kids were very curious as to what he was talking about, to which their parents explained to the boys, 'We'll tell you when you're older,' and to the girls 'You'll find out for yourself soon enough, you poor things.' And that was the end of that.

The next night, after all the hullaballoo of the wedding reception was over and they had consummated their union, quite vigorously, several times in a row, it occurred to Lily to offer to tell her new husband what had passed between her and her father the previous night out in the cold atop one of the mountains overlooking the Yukihimi estate, with nobody but her uncle as a witness (although Kairyu had been there too for some reason, but claimed he'd just been taking a walk and made a wrong turn somewhere and went down to the mansion to join the others for dinner, which Lily thought a bit odd since there was no reason a Dragon-type would be out wandering in the cold, but attributed it to another of the wizard's many eccentricities), reasoning that now that they were married there should be no secrets between them. Leo, sweaty and practically glowing, smiled and told her, "If you want to tell me, that's all right with me. If you don't feel comfortable with it, I won't push you. What happened between you and your father doesn't matter to me, so long as it made you happy. And the two of you _are_ happy, right Lily?"

"Oh yes, very much so," she said, brushing some of her hair out of her eyes.

"Then that's all I care about, and that's all I need to know," Leo said. "Especially since the less I know, the smaller my chances of accidentally saying something that'll force your father to assassinate me in the interests of national security."

Lily had laughed at that, since both of them knew Nuken would (probably) never do that, and kissed him, and then they consummated their union several more times, knowing in her heart she had the best husband in the world.

…

The next day (as in, the day of the wedding, not the day _after_ the wedding, that would be silly)…

"Looking good, Leo," Leo said to his reflection in the large ice sheet mirror taking up a sizable portion of the wall in the bathroom of the private suite he'd been given to prepare for his big day. Fantina had delivered as promised, and now he had the perfect suit to wear for this special occasion: a white tuxedo jacket and pants perfectly proportioned to fit around his shell that, through the power of fashion magic (as well as actual magic), made him look slimmer worn over a blue-white vest; sparkling diamond cufflinks in the shape of the Yukihimi family crest; a blue necktie with a crystal pin in the shape of a snowflake; no doubt very expensive orthopedic shoes made from ice dragonskin (he tried not to think too hard about how, precisely, they had been made) that were also extremely comfortable, a rarity for fancy dress shoes; a blue satin cumberbund with snowflake motifs; a white silk pocket square; his Shayminite rosary wrapped around a wrist, a rose-hued Gracidea made of never-melting ice pinned to his breast with his badge pinned on the other side, his scarf wrapped unobtrusively around his neck, and a blue cloak bearing the Yukihimi crest with Dire wolf fur trim draped over his back. He frowned and rubbed his shiny bald dome sadly. "Too bad they wouldn't let me wear a wig…or use hair-growth magic…or wear a hat…"

There was a banging on the ice slab of a door. "Leo, hurry up in there! You need to be walking down the aisle in fifteen minutes!" Pikachu, who naturally enough was one of his grooms, shouted from outside.

"I'll be out in a second!" Leo shouted to the door before turning back to the mirror and adjusting his tie. "Hmm, yeah, that should do it…" He paused, suddenly noticing that his was not the only reflection in the mirror. "I was wondering when you'd get around to talking to me," he said slowly to Nuken, without turning around or making any sudden movements.

The Shedinja, who was of course hovering right behind Leo while wearing a military dress uniform similar to what he'd worn to his own wedding but slightly less ostentatious, said, "Helping Lily get ready took a bit longer than I anticipated. Perhaps…mainly due to my fussing, which is perhaps why Missy and Fantina threw me out of the room."

"Heh. I can just picture that," Leo said with a smirk.

"Yes, I just bet you can," Nuken said dryly. "You can turn around now; I'm not going to hurt you."

"I know you won't," Leo said as he slowly turned around to face his soon-to-be father-in-law. "Because if you do, Lily will never forgive you, and whatever steps you've taken towards establishing a real father-daughter relationship will disappear."

"Very confident, aren't you?" Nuken said, bemused. "You didn't seem the slightest bit surprised that I'm here."

"I knew you'd come see me in private sooner or later," Leo said. "You're cutting it a little close though, aren't you?"

"Well, my aforementioned difficulties aside, I also needed some time to…figure out what exactly I was going to say to you," Nuken said uncomfortably. "As my brother no doubt told you, I'm not…good at these sorts of things; regular conversations with other Pokémon. You _are_ aware that you aren't to tell anyone what you heard last night, correct?"

Leo waved him off. "Yeah, yeah, I know when to keep my mouth shut, as hard as it may be to believe."

"All right then," Nuken said, though it was clear he did not entirely believe this. "In any event, I'm here to…to…"

"Warn me if I ever do anything to hurt your daughter you'll make sure I never see the light of day again?" Leo guessed.

"What? No!" Nuken said in surprise. "Well…okay, yes, but that sort of goes without saying, doesn't it?"

"I suppose so," Leo said. "And speaking of which, sir, I think I should have you know that if _you_ ever do anything to hurt your daughter I'll make sure you regret it."

Nuken stared at him in astonishment. "Are you…are you _threatening _me? _Me?_"

"I am," Leo said coldly. "Lily was _really_ upset after you blew up at me yesterday—not cool, by the way—and even if you two have squared things away, I haven't forgotten that you made her cry, and we both know that, hard as you might try to stay civil and be a good father, there's a good chance you'll make her cry again. And if you _do_ hurt her, I'll make you pay."

"And how exactly do you intend to do that?" Nuken sneered incredulously.

"When we first met I was wearing my sunglasses, so I was able to instantly scan your body and learn all your weaknesses," Leo said flatly. "Like the fact that you can't see as well out of your right eye as you can with your left due to an old injury, that you're a fraction of a second slower to strike with your left claw than you are with your right, that you have a big weak spot between your wings which is why you've focused your speed and attack skills so that you can strike an attacker before they get a chance to hit you from behind…need I go on?"

"…No. No, you don't," Nuken said, actually rather shaken despite himself. He hadn't been aware of any deficiencies in his left arm. This bore…further investigation.

"Needless to say, after you made Lily cry and ran off, I used the data I gathered from my initial scan to come up with at least two dozen ways to incapacitate and/or kill you in the time it would take for you to try to attack me, even taking into account your impressive speed and defense," Leo said.

"…That…that many?!" Nuken cried in astonishment.

"I can be _very_ thorough when I want to be," Leo said. "So let me just say that if you _did_ have any intention of attacking me now, even with my best buds right outside waiting for me-"

"Leo, hurry up!" Ash shouted from outside.

"Just a minute, jeez!" Leo shouted. "Anyway, if you _did_ try to attack me, the countermeasures I've installed in my shell will kick in and make you wish you hadn't."

"…Impressive," Nuken said grudgingly. "And here I thought you were feeling like you couldn't keep up with your companions in the combat field."

"Oh, I know my brain, shades, and gear are probably my biggest weapons, and that with enough prep time I can defend against just about any opponent," Leo said. "But I'm still only mortal, and I need an extra edge if I'm going to be able to stand toe-to-toe against some of the Big Bads without being just a support guy."

"You sell yourself short. You are quite the strategist," Nuken said.

"I know that, but that's not gonna save me from the likes of Oblivion's Shadow or the Ruler of Evil," Leo said. "Don't get me wrong, I know I can hold my own against your average bunch of mooks to some extent…but against villains of higher caliber, I'm gonna need something a bit more than my standard bag of tricks to prevail and protect my friends…and Lily."

Nuken nodded slowly. "An impressive and commendable sentiment. Most admirable. But like I said, I'm not here to threaten you."

Leo raised an eyebrow. "Okay…then why _are_ you here?"

"To…" Nuken hesitated, visibly struggling with these words. He'd probably never said them before to anybody. "To give…to give you my…my…" He took a deep breath. "_Blessing._"

Leo's eyes bulged. "Say what?!"

"Don't make me say it again," Nuken growled.

"Uh, okay. But, gosh, I mean…your blessing? Seriously?" Leo said in disbelief.

Nuken sighed. "Yes. Seriously."

"Wow. Just…wow. That's…that's really…" Leo paused and frowned. "Wait…you already gave us permission to get married. How is this different?"

"When I gave you my permission, I said it was fine for you to get married," Nuken explained. "But when I'm giving you my blessing, it means I…I…" He took a deep breath. "_Approve_ of you as a Pokémon and recognize you as a worthy mate for my daughter."

Leo's jaw dropped. "Holy shit. Could you say that again? I want to record that for posterity-"

"_Leo,_" Nuken hissed.

"Okay, okay, I get it," Leo said. "So…you really approve of me? Wow. I did _not_ see that coming. How'd that come up?"

"When I first heard about your relationship with my daughter, I was…very upset," Nuken admitted. "You are a middle-class Pokémon with no noble blood from a town that, frankly, I'd almost barely heard of before that point. While you have a heroic lineage, it's not as particularly notable as, say, the Thunderblades. You are not a member of the Dragonian religion or a citizen of the Draconian Empire—you're not even a _Dragon_, or the Ghost of one—and are short, overweight, not the best at fighting, somewhat obnoxious, and your Internet record shows you frequent various websites of questionable content and ill repute."

"Hey! I don't look at those sites anymore…much," Leo protested, turning red. "Not that all that other stuff is particularly nice, either…my Dad wouldn't like to hear what you just said about our family, and he's got a giant robot body, so you'd better watch out!"

"I'm not finished," Nuken said. "Even though my daughter convinced me that your love for each other was genuine and that you had absolutely no interest whatsoever in the rather sizable power and prestige you would obtain from marrying into one of the most powerful and desirable families in the Empire-"

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that," Leo interrupted. "Hey, that means I'm gonna be one of the biggest and most well-connected guys in _two_ countries! Yatta!"

"Let me finish before I change my mind," Nuken growled.

"Oh. Sorry," Leo said, hushing up.

"Anyway," Nuken continued. "Even after you assured me that marrying Lily would be the best way to break her curse, and I gave you my permission to wed, I still was not convinced that you were worthy of her and was certain that I could find someone among the higher ranks of the Empire who would be a better match for her." He sighed. "And then…yesterday happened, and I realized that I was looking at it the wrong way."

Leo frowned. "What do you mean?"

"The…incident yesterday at the Embassy has forced me to revaluate a lot of things about my life and my relationships with others," Nuken said quietly. "And I came to the conclusion that, in the end, it wasn't _you_ who were unworthy of my daughter…it was myself."

"…Ah," Leo said.

"I have spent over three hundred years desperately searching for her," Nuken said. "I had so many plans for what I would do for her once I found her, what our unlifes would be like together. All of those plans fell apart the first time I really, truly met her and understood that the Misdreavus in my fantasies and the one in real life are…completely different from each other. At no point did it ever occur to me that the things that I wanted for her might not, in fact, be the best things for her. I had so many ideas for what and who she should be that I gave no consideration to who she actually was, or to her true wants and desires. I failed to realize that the reason she loved you _wasn't_ because you were trying to seduce her or because you were one of the first Pokémon she's ever met outside of her mother who weren't immediately cruel to her, but because you're nice to her and considerate and you…you actually, truly, _care_ about her," he said helplessly. "You knew more about my daughter from spending just a few days with her than I have in my entire unlife, her centuries of captivity with Bellum notwithstanding. You won her heart, something I should have been trying to do from day one rather than…than trying to force my own views on her, and only begrudgingly respecting her own desires and wants and needs. She _loves_ you, Leo…and it is for that reason, front and center, that you are worthy of my daughter, and why you have my blessing."

"…I…dude. That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me," Leo said in awe.

"Yes, well, don't get used to it. I don't say things like this often," Nuken said brusquely.

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Leo said with a smirk.

"Of course, that's not the _only_ reason I've acknowledged your worthiness," Nuken continued. "I've been looking back over the records of your adventures, and I must say I'm rather impressed. Your quick-thinking, ingenuity, and almost disturbing tendency to overprepare for situations have saved the lives of you and your friends more times than I can count. You managed to outwit a powerful and dangerous demon and convince the dragon who's been terrorizing your town for years to resolve matters _peacefully_, give back your father, and bolster your town's defenses with a small army of the undead. You figured out, all on your own, how to free the Nihilator slaves in the Tree of Beginning and plant the seeds of my daughter's redemption. You managed to fight adequately in one of the most respected arenas in the world _without _needing your teammates to constantly bail you out, and bested the demon from before in a children's card game of all things, which I don't quite understand but am assured was a fairly impressive feat at the time. You figured out a way to defeat the monstrous Yamatorochi and ended the curse over Twilight's Edge once and for all. You fought alongside undead pirates to defeat Manaphy and free the seas from his iron flipper. You came up with a clever plan to sneak onto a train to Fichina, invented a device that took down a frost giant, and _commandeered at least half a dozen battleships _and used them to not only help neutralize an entire Nihilator fleet, but took down their flagship. And thanks to your capture of those ships, the world now understands Nihilator technology a lot more than we might have otherwise! And on top of all that, you won my daughter's heart and are on the brink of breaking her curse once and for all! Leo, some of my own soldiers would never _dream_ of accomplishing some of the feats you've pulled off! You've honestly impressed me, and there aren't many people I would say that to, let me tell you!"

"Aw, shucks…" Leo said, blushing. "There's no need to flatter me…okay, I'm lying, keep flattering me."

"No," Nuken said flatly.

"Oh well," Leo said, unsurprised.

"My point is…if there is anyone my daughter deserves to spend the rest of her unlife with, it's…you, Leo," Nuken said, with only a moment's hesitation before saying this.

Leo's eyes widened in amazement. "…Can I hug you, father-in-law?"

"No!" Nuken said sharply.

"Aw, come on, just one hug-" Leo started.

"If you hug me, I will take back my blessing!" Nuken screeched.

"No take-backs!" Leo cried, wrapping his arms around the desperately protesting Shedinja.

"Get off me! I'll eviscerate you!" Nuken screamed, struggling to break free from Leo's grasp.

"No you won't, you promised!" Leo said, rubbing his head against Nuken's shell.

"Something I am seriously regretting!" Nuken screamed.

"Leo, what on Earth are you DOING in there?!" an incredulous Pikachu shouted from the other side of the door.

"Dropping a biiiiiiiiiiiiig log!" Leo shouted, much to Nuken's sort of relief.

"…Yeah, I really didn't need to know that…" Pikachu muttered.

"I should probably let you go now, huh?" Leo asked reluctantly.

"Yes. You should," Nuken said stiffly.

The Shedinja flew to the other side of the room the instant Leo let go of him. Leo raised an eyebrow. "Don't like to be touched, huh?"

"If someone is close enough to touch you, they're close enough to stab a weapon into your side," Nuken said.

Leo whistled. "Yeesh. How the heck do you get intimate with Missy with an attitude like that?"

"With great difficulty," Nuken said. "Now, get going. Lily will be waiting for you at the altar…and for me, I suppose."

Leo nodded. "Right. See you out there in a few minutes, father-in-law." Nuken nodded and vanished.

There was a knock on the door. "Leo! Are you, uh, finished with your business yet?" Ash asked awkwardly.

Leo rolled his eyes and slid the ice slab to the side to come face-to-face with the concerned Lucario, wearing a suit similar to the one he had been wearing yesterday only in colors matching Leo's own wedding wear. He was also wearing his badge and scarf. "Yeah, though you might not want to go in there for a while, if you know what I mean."

"Ew," Ash said, wrinkling his nose in disgust. He paused and sniffed the air. "Doesn't _smell_ that bad, though."

"It's worse than it smells, trust me," Leo said.

"Speaking of which, why does it smell sort of like dead skin-" Ash started.

"Okay, let's do this!" Leo said loudly, stepping past Ash and closing the door behind him. "Pikachu, we all good?"

"We've been ready for the last several minutes, we were waiting for you," Pikachu, wearing a formal blue and white kimono with wintry scenes woven into it, said flatly. Like the other two, his scarf and badge were visible on his outfit. They had decided to wear their Rescue Team 'uniforms' to demonstrate team solidarity and show their support for their friends getting married, something Leo and Lily were very touched by.

"Well, a guy has to look his best when he's getting married," Leo pointed out. "I'm sure you'll spend inordinate amounts of time in the bathroom too when it's your turn to marry Dawn."

Pikachu sighed. "Don't remind me. My mom's been nagging me constantly to set a date, because she thinks 'after this whole mess is over' isn't specific enough."

"She kinda has a point," Ash said.

"Oh, like you're one to talk, what with your wedding date being even more nebulous than mine," Pikachu said.

"I haven't even asked Misty to marry me yet…what with her being out in space and all…" Ash said.

"She wouldn't marry you anyway. Why would she? _She died because of you_!" Misty hissed. Ash ignored her.

"Well, that's off in the future. Right now is _my_ wedding day, so let's get this show on the road!" Leo said, putting on his shades.

"I've been saying that for the last ten minutes," Pikachu complained. Leo ignored him.

"Come on, guys! My bride awaits!" Leo declared.

…

The wedding was to take place outside, in a courtyard specifically constructed to hold the ceremony. (Literally. Using her power over the estate, Lily had imagined what the perfect place for her and Leo to get married at would look like, and the entire structure had reshaped itself to suit her will.) Snow constantly drifted down from the skies, but thanks to magic (the solution to everything in Fichina, as you've no doubt guessed by now), it didn't land on anyone and ruin their clothes, nor was anyone particularly cold. That didn't stop a few of the invited nobles and vassals from dressing in warm yet very fashionable clothes just so they could be seen wearing them, of course.

The courtyard was hemmed in on three sides by manor walls, with the fourth side opening out into a panoramic view of some of the picturesque wintry countryside surrounding the mansion. The wall opposite this view housed a pair of giant doors made, surprisingly enough, out of ice, covered in panels of stained ice depicting little scenes from Leo and Lily's times together. These scenes were replicated on a much larger scale by towering stained ice windows covering the faces of the other two walls, interspersed between ice statues of the two of them dancing and kissing placed in recessed alcoves. Flying buttresses extended from the roofs over the courtyard to make contact with their opposite numbers on the other side, creating glittering arches of ice with braziers burning with magical flames placed at the height of their arcs. Banners made of a shimmering fabric with the Yukihimi crest with a pair of totally rad sunglasses laid over it emblazoned on them dangled from the arches, flowing and waving in the breeze. Beneath the arches were what had to be a hundred very comfortable seats made of ice blocks rising out of the ground, split into two sections by a blue carpet running right down the middle. Leo's parents and siblings sat at the front of one section while the Thunderblades sat at the front of the other section with Missy. The remainder of the seats were filled by friends Leo and Lily had made since arriving in Fichina, several of the other allies they'd made on the Enchanted Express, a number of Pokémon who were either beholden to the Yukihimi family and had been called back into service now that Lily had been reinstated as head of house or were just there to be seen being there, several members of the press (including Todd), and a few people that had won invitations to the wedding in a contest held to promote publicity for the occasion and increase Lily's standing among her peers and make everyone forget the numerous crimes againt Pokémonity she'd (unwillingly) committed and the rather nasty stain her mother had left on the family's name.

At the front of the courtyard, framed by the mountains in the background, was a beautiful stage made of ice, with monolithic crystals spreading out from the sides and back and an incredibly delicate-looking heart-shaped frame made of ice with the snowflake and sunglasses crest depicted on the banners sculpted from brilliantly-glowing ice at its peak looming over the whole thing. A winding crystal staircase zigzagged up from the end of the carpet to the top of the stage, where Briney, Lily, Sasha, Dawn, Fantina and her daughters, Atlametheus, and Nuken were waiting. Briney had dressed for the occasion by wearing magnetic snowflake cufflinks, a glass eye rather than his customary eyepatch, a white mariner's jacket, and a skullcap, and his scard and badge pinned on him was floating behind a small ice pillar quickly thumbing through a Herdier-eared book for last-minute instructions on what exactly he was supposed to be doing. The bridesmaids were all wearing identical dresses made from ice crystals interwoven into fabric with snowflakes dotting them that sparkled beautifully in the light emanating from the giant ice crest. They had tried to force Sasha to wear a dress like theirs, but she'd pointed out that her priestess robes were all that were keeping her from passing out and spending the next eighteen or so hours in a deep sleep, so they'd reluctantly allowed her to wear her priestly vestments (and scarf and badge, of course) instead. Atlametheus was just wearing a bow tie and cufflinks, and looked fine in it.

And as for Lily…

She looked absolutely beautiful in her wedding dress, which, rather than being something Fantina had crafted for her, apparently belonged to her grandmother, according to Atlametheus. It was made from an icy blue-white fabric created from ice and diamonds that had been transmuted into thread with woven snowflakes literally dancing across the flowing skirt, so it looked as if she was wearing a piece of the winter sky. A snow-white crystalline flower was pinned to her bodice, with her badge pinned right next to it. A number of magical snowflake-shaped crystals floated around her, reflecting ambient light so it would always cast her features in the most attractive light, even making her curse scars not look quite so bad, though the makeup she'd applied before to accentuate her eyes and mouth had probably helped quite a bit in drawing attention away from the chains. She had replaced her customary pearl necklace with one made of diamonds worn over her freshly pressed scarf, and it sparkled dazzlingly in the refracted light from the floating mirrors. A long train made of a sheet of snow magically pressed into cloth flowed behind her, ice sprites holding onto its edges to keep it floating off of the ground. Her hat had changed colors to match her dress, with a diadem wrapped around its crown and a veil made of tiny translucent interlocking ice crystals hanging in her face from the front brim. Her long hair had been tamed with careful application of conditioner so that it flowed down the back of her dress in one thick braid rather than constantly weaving and twitching every which way, bound into a knot at the bottom by her engagement ring. Diamond dust had been sprinkled across the lengths of her locks to give them an extra-lustrous sheen.

"She's _so_ pretty," said an astonished Nefertari.

"I'm so jealous…I wish I were getting married!" Phoebe said unhappily. Some of her sisters nodded in agreement.

Dawn raised an eyebrow. _Why? I thought you liked your…'swinging' lifestyle._

"Oh, we do," Shauntel said.

"Very much so," Morticia said, licking her lips.

"But zat doesn't mean now and zen we don't fantasize about our perfect wedding…or settling down wiz ze mon of our dreams," Mirami said wistfully.

"Or zree," Agatha said.

"Or ten!" Bow giggled.

…_I do not understand Mewrians at all…_ the Buneary thought to herself as the Fantasma girls started gushing about who they'd want to marry and what kind of honeymoon they would have with their spouse…or spouses.

"I still do not understand the fuss," Sasha complained. "The union of two Pokémon for life is important, but does it really need all this…over-the-top frillery and ceremony?"

_Many Pokémon like all this 'over-the-top frillery and ceremony,'_ Dawn said. _I wouldn't mind a little extravagance myself at my wedding._

Sasha raised an eyebrow. "Truly? I thought you would be fine with more utilitarian fare."

_I would,_ Dawn said. _But just because I'm a ninja doesn't mean I can't dream about a magnificent wedding…and thanks to my future mother-in-law, it looks like I'm going to get one._

"Hmm," Sasha said doubtfully.

_What was your wedding like?_ Dawn asked.

"I walked up to my future husband, told him we were a couple now, he said 'Okay,' and then we mated," Sasha said.

…_That's it?_ Dawn asked.

"That's it," Sasha said.

_Even I think that's a bit minimalist and unromantic,_ Dawn said.

"It worked well enough for our purposes," Sasha said. "It's not like we exactly have access to all this…excess, out where I come from."

"You poor zing!" Bow cooed.

"If you want, we could 'elp arrange a much more lavish second wedding for you and your mate to renew your vows," Mirami said.

"No," Sasha said.

"…Just like zat?" Bow asked in disappointment.

"Yes. Just like zat, I mean that," Sasha said.

The Fantasmas pouted at her. "You 'ave no sense of romance," Shauntel sniffed.

"I manage to get by," Sasha said.

_It's a wonder your boytoy hasn't run out on you with an attitude like that,_ Darkrai said.

_If he tried, I would eviscerate him,_ Sasha said.

_Ah. Yeah, that would do it,_ Darkrai said. He sighed. _Reminds me of Cressy. Oh, Cressy…_

"She looks marvelous, doesn't she?" Fantina whispered proudly to Nuken, who was staring at his daughter as if he had never seen her before in his unlife.

"Yes, she does," the Shedinja said. "Although…all of this ice surrounding her makes me think of…"

"Don't say it," Fantina said sharply. "Zat name is not to be uttered anywhere wizin ten miles of zis special day."

"I wasn't going to say her name," Nuken said, offended. "But…looking at her, wearing that…one can't help seeing the family resemblance."

"When I look at 'er wearing zat, I zink of 'er sainted grandmozzer," Fantina said. "Zat…witch who 'appened to unbirz 'er doesn't fit into ze equation at all."

"No, I suppose not," Nuken agreed. He sighed. "How is this possible, Fantina? How could two of the world's greatest monsters spawn something so…sweet and kind and as completely unlike her mother or myself as possible?"

"Genetics are a funny zing," Fantina said in amusement.

"I don't deserve a child as good as her," Nuken said.

"No, you don't," Fantina said bluntly. When he shot a look at her, she said, "Which is why you must _prove_ you are worzy of 'er. What you did last night—whatever it was-was a good first step, but if you want to build a positive relationship wiz 'er, you've got to _work_ for it."

"I am aware," Nuken said with a sigh. "It's going to probably be the hardest thing I've ever done…but I'll do it anyway, because I want to be a part of her unlife. I've wanted it for three hundred years…" He paused, then looked at Fantina and said, "Fantina, I…know we've rarely seen eye to eye…"

"Zat's _one_ way of putting it," the sorceress said with a sniff.

"However, I…wanted to…thank you," Nuken said hesitantly. "For giving my Lily a positive female role model and mother figure, and helping her find a home and friends here in Fichina. I…would have preferred for her to come live with me in the Empire, but I see now that's not really an option, so…thank you for helping her to settle in, and being a…better mother to her than, well, her actual mother was."

Fantina laughed. "Not like zat would be 'ard. And you know what? If you keep up zat attitude, you just might be a good fazzer after all…not just for Lily, but for ze little one yet to be unborn."

"…Thank you, Fantina. That means a lot to me," Nuken said.

"Of course, don't zink zis means I like you. I still zink you're an 'orrible person and want to see you as little as possible," Fantina said.

"Oh, likewise. I absolutely despise you, your daughters, and your way of life," Nuken said. "_Especially_ your promiscuity, which I don't think is the best example to set for my daughter, let alone yours."

Fantina smirked. "I figured. But…we can 'ate each ozzer on amicable terms, yes? For Lily's sake?"

Nuken glanced at his daughter again, so happy and beautiful. He nodded, finding himself making yet another concession he never, ever, _ever_ thought he'd make. "Yes. For Lily's sake."

In the front row, Missy, wearing a lovely gown (with Meowth ears, of course) was sobbing into her handkerchief. "Oh! Oh, this is so beautiful! My stepdaughter's going to be married! I _always_ cry at weddings, even my own!"

"Why is she crying? The wedding hasn't even started yet," the unnerved Raiki muttered to Delia.

"She's just very excited, is all," Delia said, appraising their surroundings with a frown on their face. "Hmm…I suppose it's a good setting. I could probably have done just as well, if not better, if they'd come to me first, but for whatever reason they didn't, so I suppose they'll have to be satisfied with this."

"…Are you serious? Are you actually upset that we're going to a wedding that you didn't plan?!" Raiki asked incredulously.

"I plan _all_ the weddings back home," Delia sniffed. "Going to one somebody else made doesn't feel right."

Raiki rolled his eyes in exasperation. "Unbelievable…can't you just enjoy this? These are two of our sons' best friends getting married here, and this is the wedding _they_ wanted! Quit nitpicking and let them get married on their own terms!"

Delia sighed. "Oh, very well…" She sat in silence for a few minutes, arms crossed, before saying, "You know, they could have given us actual chairs rather than blocks of-"

"DELIA!" Raiki bellowed, shutting her up.

Kageie shifted uncertainly on her seat, unnerved by the massive crowd and lavish settings. She wondered if all 'civilized' weddings were like this. Hers certainly hadn't been… "All we did is promise ourselves to each other, and that was that," she murmured. Her face darkened. "Then again…considering what's happened between us…perhaps these folk have the right idea?"

"I don't get it. We're sitting on blocks of ice, and yet now only am I not cold, it feels like I'm sitting in a very comfortable chair," Matthias said, shifting about in his seat in confusion. "How can this be?"

"It's magic, bro, don't think too hard about it," Pichu said, lounging back in his seat with a relaxed look on his face.

"I can't help it. I'm not entirely fond of magic, ever since we ran into that shaman who used my fifth great uncle twice-removed on my second grandfather's side to channel a bunch of evil spirits who massacred a quarter of my family. Or the magician who needed some of our whiskers for one of his spells and cut the noses off of twenty of my cousins, causing them to lose their sense of smell and die due to not being able to scent danger. Or the evil sorcerer pretending to be a hobo who turned my sister-in-law inside out when she foolishly offered him a berry, and turned some of my other relatives into giant body parts. Or the ancestral curse which is the reason our tails are short, which has a story so horrible behind it it'd turn your fur white-" Matthias listed.

"Okay, okay, that's enough, mon," Pichu said.

"I quite like this place," Mizula commented. "It is a fascinating environment, and the waters of New Avalon look like they might have made a good home for my family and I had we not wound up in Pokémon Square instead."

"Why didn't you try coming here instead of crossing the ocean all the way to Kanjohenn?" Matthias asked.

"We did. We were turned away at the border," Mizula said sadly. "The Colossi wouldn't let us through because of the crimes we had committed under our father's command."

"Oh," Pichu said. "That sucks."

"And they let Lily through, even though she's probably done more evil stuff for longer? That doesn't seem fair!" Matthias said.

"Well, they'd called ahead so the higher-ups at the border were probably told to let 'em all through," Pichu said. "But Mizula and the others didn't have the advantage of connections on the inside."

"That's really not fair…" Matthias said. "The Phione were sorry and repentant, too. They shouldn't have been turned away."

"It's all right," Mizula assured them. "We are happy in Pokémon Square. If we had been allowed into Fichina, I would not have met you, or Raiki or Delia, or Mimi, or all the other friends I have made. While it was…inconvenient to have to travel all that way, I am pleased that we did, because otherwise we might not have found a new home."

"Awww, we're happy we met you too, Mizula!" Pichu said.

"Sorry again for beating you up the first time we met," Matthias apologized.

"Water under the bridge," Mizula assured them.

Across the aisle, Judy was being pestered by her Gible children, much to the irritation of the other guests nearby. "New Mama, when's the wedding going to start?" Ludwig whined.

"Soon, dear," the Torkoal said.

"I'm hungry! I wanna eat!" Iggy complained.

"You can eat as soon as the wedding's over, dear," Judy said.

"Will there be cake? I like cake!" Larry said.

"Yes, a big one, but you can't eat all of it, there are other hungry people here, too," Judy said.

"S-s-s-so cold," Lemmy shuddered.

"Brain freeze! Brain freeze!" Morton moaned, cradling his head.

"Mah tug! Ah cat feel mah tug!" Wendy yelped, trying to pull her stuck tongue off the side of her chair.

Judy sighed wearily. "Kids, what did I tell you about not eating the ice around here?"

Roy, who had been about to shove a chunk of his chair in his mouth, hesitated. "Uh…not to?"

"Precisely. Put that down, please," Judy said sternly.

Reluctantly, Roy complied. Just as reluctantly, so did the other Gibles.

"This is _incredible!_ I can't believe we're actually attending a wedding at the Yukihimi estate!" Silvia gushed.

"We were here yesterday for dinner. What's the big deal?" Buck complained.

"Dinner is very different from attending a wedding, dear. Do you know what this means? We're going up in the world!" the silver Claydol squealed.

"Silvia, we were invited because we're friends of the bride and groom," Goldor pointed out.

"Which is even better! We're known acquaintances of the newest celebrity couple in Fichina! Oh, the invitations for us to attend all the best high society functions will just come rolling in! We might even be asked to come to *gasp* the Royal Palace!"

"We've been there recently, too," Buck pointed out.

"But not on a _regular basis!"_ Silvia wailed, much to her family's embarrassment.

"I don't know her. Honest," Goldor said to the well-dressed Pokémon sitting next to him, who sniffed and turned away. The golden Claydol growled. "Snob."

"Thanks for coming as my plus-one, George," Bruno said to the mercenary Mightyena.

"No problem," George said. "We both got invitations, so it only seemed right we come together."

"Yeah," the Machamp said. "But…I figured you'd be coming with that Sam guy. Didn't you have a crush on him?"

"No," George said bitterly.

Bruno blinked. "Really? Because I thought-"

"I never want to see him again," George said coldly, pointedly not looking in the direction of where Sam was sitting, obvious due to the towering Decepticon seated right next to him.

"Ah," Bruno said. "Say no more." Inside, he thought, _Yes! Score! Now I've got a chance with her! Thanks for being such a…weirdo, Sam!_

Looker was perched behind one of the gargoyles on the icy rooftops overlooking the wedding. He was peering at all the guests and the environs through a set of very high-tech binoculars. "What are you doing up here?" Kairyu asked, crouching down next to the Croagunk.

"The same could be said of you, Palmer of the Dragon's Claw ninja clan," Looker said, not seeming remotely surprised by the Dragonite's presence.

Similarly, Palmer did not seem surprised that Looker had figured out his identity. "What gave me away?"

"I'm a detective," Looker said, and that was that.

Palmer nodded. "Any reason you're up here rather than down there? I would've thought you'd have gotten an invitation too, even if you _were_ planning on arresting Lily to get to Bellum. Not that you'd have succeeded, by the way."

"Just wanted to make sure nobody tried anything," Looker said, not taking his eyes off his binoculars. "While sentiment towards Lily is generally positive, there are quite a few people out there who want to punish her for her mother's sins."

"You realize it's unlikely for anything bad to actually happen, given the very strong defensive enchantments designed to protect Lily and her friends, as well as the security guards all over the place, _and_ the Draconian ninjas doing the exact same thing you're doing right now?" Palmer asked.

"Speaking of which, could you get another hiding place? There's not enough room for both of us behind here," a Ninjask right next to Looker asked.

"No," the Croagunk said. The Ninjask sighed in frustration and flew off to find somewhere else to hide.

"Well?" Palmer pressed after Looker didn't say anything for a while.

"I prefer not to leave anything to chance," the Croagunk said.

Palmer nodded. "Sensible. Is that why you were looting through the trash cans earlier today?"

"I go through _everyone's _garbage," Looker said with a note of pride.

"Heh. Mind if I join you?" Palmer asked.

Looker shrugged indifferently. "Suit yourself."

Palmer sat down next to him. They said nothing for a while as both of them scanned the scenery for any signs of trouble. After a minute, Looker, still not taking his eyes off his binoculars, said, "You're looking for the Dragon's Wing clan?"

"Yes," Palmer said, not bothering to ask how Looker knew that.

Looker reached into his trenchcoat and pulled out a folder, which he handed to the Dragonite, again without looking away from the crowd. "This might help."

Palmer flipped open the folder. His eyes flickered as he quickly looked over the contents. He closed it and stuffed it in his robes. "Thank you. That's exactly what I was looking for."

"I thought so," Looker said. "You going to head out to follow those leads?"

"After the wedding," Palmer said. Looker nodded. Silence between them resumed once again.

Silence which was broken when, without warning, Todd landed right next to them. "Hey, guys! What are you doing up here? I was up in the air taking some overhead photos for my paper when I spotted you two down here! Shouldn't you be down in the courtyard with everyone else?"

"Less crowded up here," Palmer said, trying to hide his annoyance at the intrusion.

"Ah, that makes sense. Oh, wow, this is a great vantage point for some prime pics! Mind if I join you?" the Aerodactyl asked.

"Well, actually, we-" Looker started.

"Really? Thanks! Don't worry, I won't bother you guys one bit!" Todd said as his eyes flashed repeatedly and photo after photo slid off his tongue.

Palmer and Looker shared frustrated looks. "If you kill him, I'm going to have to arrest you," the Croagunk said.

"I wasn't going to kill him," Kairyu said, though he had been considering it. "However…" He coughed. "Look, over there, an assassin!"

Looker raised an eyebrow. "Seriously?"

"Oh gosh, an assassin?! Where?!" Todd asked, looking around frantically.

"Assassins?! Where?!" some of the hidden ninjas cried, poking their heads up and looking around frantically.

Palmer facepalmed. Looker chuckled in amusement. "Oh, very well." He made a big show of turning around so his back was to the Dragonite.

Sighing in relief, Palmer pinched the frantic Aerodactyl's shoulder. "Huh? Hey, what are you-" Todd immediately passed out, faceplanting in the snow.

"Oh look, he fell asleep!" Palmer said as Looker turned back around. "I guess he's been spending too many nights staying up late developing photographs for his own good, the poor thing."

"Sleeping on the job? How unprofessional," Looker said in amusement.

"I won't tell if you won't tell," Palmer said.

"Deal," Looker said. They shook on it, and then resumed their vigil in amiable silence, while snow gently started covering the snoring Aerodactyl beside them.

"When's this going to start? I'm hungry!" Bitey whined.

"In a few minutes," Cherry said. "And don't eat your chair; you'll get a brain freeze."

"I wasn't going to eat my chair!" Bitey protested.

"Yes you were," Cherry said.

"…Yeah, I was," Bitey admitted. He looked up at the altar. "So…are they gonna make it?"

"Hmm?" Cherry asked.

"Leo and Lily. Are they going to be all right?" Bitey asked.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, definitely," Cherry said. "They're going to live happily ever after."

Bitey sighed in relief. "That's good to hear."

Cherry smirked. "Yeah…it is, isn't it?"

"So…does this mean we're dating now?" Coil asked Sparkler.

Sparkler glanced at him in surprise. "What? What are you talking about?"

"Well, we both got invited, we came together, we're sitting next to each other, just like we did last night-" Coil started.

"No," Sparkler said. "We are not dating."

"Oh," the Magneton said in disappointment. He sighed. "Shot down again…"

"_**Why did we come to this again?"**_ Outlaw complained, looking positively comedic trying to squeeze into a chair built for a Pokémon about a fifth her size. _**"I hate weddings."**_

"We were invited, and there's going to be free food, and I'm never one to turn down free food," Sam said.

"_**But I can't eat anything here!" **_Outlaw whined.

"I'm sure there'll be _something_ you can eat," Sam said. "And if not, I brought some Energon goodies."

"_**Well, I suppose it's better than nothing,"**_ Outlaw grumbled. _**"Are you sure I can't blow anything up or kill anyone?"**_

"If you do, we'll get thrown out, which means no food," Sam pointed out.

"_**Eh, true,"**_ Outlaw grunted. _**"Oh well, at least I won't be used as a honeymoon vehicle like the time Sibyl and Abraham Lincoln were married. Or have a pair of organics…well, one organic and one living statue head…going at it in my back seat."**_

"How exactly did they manage that, anyway?" Sam asked.

"_**I purged the memory from my databanks, so neither of us will ever know, which is as it should be,"**_ Outlaw said solemnly.

Sam nodded. "That's true. So, do you think that pet of yours will be okay on his own?"

"_**Oh, he'll be fine," **_Outlaw said dismissively. _**"He should be okay on his own for a few hours."**_

Elsewhere…

"I PRAY FOR DEATH'S SWEET EMBRACE!" Rono screamed in unfathomable agony.

Back in Fichina…

Sam glanced over his shoulder. "I think his friends are a few rows behind us. They're glaring at you."

"_**Is that so?"**_ Outlaw stood up and turned around, much to the protests of the other guests. _**"HEY, MEATBAGS!"**_ she bellowed at Coil and Sparkler. _**"Well, meatbag and inferior silicon-based lifeform, anyway. AS WE SPEAK, YOUR FRIEND IS BEING SLOWLY CONVERTED INTO A SUPERIOR MECHANICAL BEING LIKE MYSELF IN A PROCESS WHICH IS EXCRUCIATINGLY PAINFUL AND WILL NO DOUBT DRIVE HIM COMPLETELY INSANE, LEAVING HIM A DROOLING WRECK PERFECT FOR HIS PURPOSES AS MY PET! THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR CHALLENGING A MIGHTY DECEPTICON TO A RACE, YOU PATHETIC TROGLODYTE EVOLUTIONARY THROWBACKS! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"**_

"I'LL KILL HER!" Coil shrieked, flying out of his seat and lunging at the Decepticon. Outlaw flicked him away with a finger, causing him to smash through one of the stained-ice windows surrounding the courtyard. "Or not…"

"_**Ah, that felt good,"**_ Outlaw said, chuckling as she sat back down, ignoring the glares from the other guests as some of the servants frantically tried to repair the window she'd just broken. _**"It's always fun to belittle someone who's smaller and weaker than you and has no power to stop you whatsoever. It's practically the Decepticon credo!"**_

"Yes, Max would say the same thing," Sam agreed. He sighed. "I miss him."

"_**Shouldn't we be out looking for him?"**_ Outlaw asked.

"Eh, we'll get to it," Sam said.

Outlaw raised an eyebrow. _**"You seem a lot calmer about his absence than you were a week ago."**_

"Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm actually a frothing mass of rage and hard-boiled violence seething just beneath the surface waiting to do absolutely horrible things to the people responsible for taking my little buddy away that's getting worse and worse every second Max isn't here. However, it gets exhausting acting all that way all the time, and it wouldn't be very polite to behave like that at a wedding of one of me and Max's biggest fans who's not trying to kill us or kidnap us or write twisted male-on-male fanfiction about us, so I'm repressing my unbridled wrath and fury until after the wedding and we resume our search in earnest, unless I go completely insane and turn into a rabid dog first," Sam said.

"_**You don't have rabies," **_Outlaw pointed out.

"I have a can of shaving cream, that'll do," Sam said.

"…_**Heh. Maybe this wedding won't be so bad after all,"**_ Outlaw said in amusement, getting a positively malicious idea.

"What a lovely wedding!" Dean commented, looking around the courtyard in awe. "And it was so nice of the weather Pokémon to keep the skies nice and cloudy so we didn't have to worry about sunburn."

"I thought we'd seen the last of the ice and snow after Dusty Ditch," Bob said with a sigh. "I suppose not."

Thinking of Dusty Ditch made Dean think of Dominick, and thinking of Dominick made him sad. "…Should we really be doing this right now? The Nihilators are still out there, and they have the Mistress. Why aren't we taking the fight to them already? With all the intel we've provided, they should be toast by now!"

"They _are_ toast," Bob said. "On Earth, anyway. However, they're still deeply entrenched on Mars, and that's not exactly an easy place to get to, even with our information."

Dean sighed. "No, I suppose not…it just feels _wrong_ for us to be having something as cheery as a wedding while our Mistress and brethren are even now being tortured and abused by the Nihilators."

"We will rescue them soon, I promise," Bob said. "And then…" He closed his eyes. "The Count's last request will finally be fulfilled."

Dean nodded. "The Mistress will never forget his sacrifice…and neither will we."

"A lovely day for a wedding, isn't it daughter?" Queen Ninianne idly asked Princess Boa.

The armored Servine nodded. "Yes. I don't suppose we'll be getting you to have one of these one day?"

The avatar of magic laughed. "Not a chance." Mr. Sukizo, who'd been sitting nearby and had been harboring a crush on the Queen for quite some time now (as had pretty much everyone in the country, at one point or another) crused angrily, trying not to cry as he realized his dreams were shattered.

"Oooh, I love weddings! Don't you. Mr. Sukizo?" Joy Prime, who'd been sitting next to the Abra asked. When he burst into tears, she smiled sympathetically and patted him on the back, saying, "There, there, I cry at weddings too!"

Lady Caitlin frowned at Lily's wedding dress. "That train she's wearing looks rather reminiscent of my hairstyle."

"Would you like me to do anything about it, Mistress?" Darach asked.

"No, it's probably a coincidence, it's just somewhat vexing, is all," the Gothitelle said with a frown. "I do not _like _my style being copied without permission."

"Dad, is my wedding going to be as nice as this one?" Juijmaru asked his father.

"One can only hope, son," Leeku said, privately thinking that it probably wouldn't be.

"Omigosh! This is so great! Isn't this great? Lily and Leo are getting married! And we're here! Are you excited? I'm excited! I'm sooooo excited!" Bianca squealed excitedly, wriggling about so much she was having trouble staying in her seat.

Don George laughed and put a hand on his daughter's head to keep her in place. "Yes dear, I'm excited too, though not nearly as much as you are, I'll bet."

"I love weddings! Dad, can I get married soon? Please please please can I?!" Bianca asked giddily.

The burly Emboar hesitated. "We'll…talk about it later, okay?"

"Okay!" the Pignite chirped eagerly.

"You know, this wedding reminds me of a movie I was in once," Brycen commented to Don George.

"Yeah?" the Emboar asked, worried about his daughter's future.

The Beartic nodded. "Yes, only that one got attacked by aliens, whom I promptly defeated."

"…Ah. Yeah, I don't think that's going to happen here," Don George said.

"You never know," Brycen said, looking up into the sky. Don George gave him a weird look. Aura Guardians could be so _strange_ sometimes…

"Well, it's a relief to know that this marriage is going to go off without a hitch, we aren't going to war, and neither of us have lost our jobs," Stoutroot said to Drayden.

The Haxorus nodded in relief. "Yeah, though it looked a little touch and go for a minute. Good thing Nuken seems to have forgotten he and I were supposed to have a 'talk' after whatever happened between now and when he disappeared yesterday." One of the ninjas patrolling nearby heard this and made a note to remind Nuken of this later.

"Dad, is my marriage gonna be as nice as this one?" Iris asked her father.

Drayden paused. "Yes, honey, of course it is."

"It's not, is it Dad?" Melanie murmured to her father.

The Venusaur shook his head. "No dear, but there's no reason to tell her that. Let her hang onto her delusions for a little longer, it's the diplomatic thing to do."

"Ugh, do we gotta do this?" Victini complained to her fellow Legendaries, somewhat amusingly seated in regular chairs like everyone else. "We should be out kicking Nihilator butts, not wasting our time with this wedding!"

"This wedding is an important milestone in the lives of two of the heroes who will help us to put an end to the Nihilator scourge once and for all," Lugia said.

"Plus, it'll help Lily become more powerful, which will make the impending battle weigh that much more heavily in our favor," Reshiram said.

Victini perked up at this. "You don't say? Well then, let's get it over with!"

"These things can't be rushed, you know," Zekrom said.

Victini groaned. "Yeah, I know…but couldn't they go a _little_ faster? Kyurem, couldn't you, like, I dunno, threaten to eat them if they don't hurry up and get things started already?"

"It will begin when it begins, and not a minute before," the ice dragon rasped.

"Psht. Lame," Victini grumbled.

Up on the altar, Lily looked at Briney in concern. "Are you all right?" she asked as Briney flipped through his book for the dozenth time. "You seem nervous."

"Nervous?!" Briney snapped, looking up and accidentally ripped out several pages from the book. "I don't get nervous!" he said, throwing the pages away. "I'm Captain Thaddeus Irving Briney! If anything, _you_ should be nervous! This is the biggest day in your life! Aren't you the least bit anxious?"

"No," Lily said truthfully.

Briney gave her a surprised look. "Really? Because I—I-I mean, most Pokémon are right before their weddings. Some of them even get second thoughts…not that I ever did, of course!"

Lily shook her head. "I have no second thoughts. I've known for a while now that Leo is the Pokémon I want to spend the rest of eternity with…I think I've always known, really, but only recently realized it. Why should I be nervous when this is the culimation of all our hopes and dreams? The first steps towards starting a life together beyond just being teammates who happen to be dating each other?"

_I'm so proud of you, Lily_, B said.

_I'm proud of myself, too…for one of the first times ever,_ Lily said. _I really _have_ come a long way, haven't I?_

_And you're a far, FAR better person for it,_ B said sweetly.

"…Heh. When you put it like that…" Briney chuckled. "You know, Leo's a very lucky mon. I can't think of anyone who _wouldn't_ want a girl like you for their bride."

Lily blushed. "Thank you, Briney."

Briney sighed. "All right, full disclosure, I guess I am a little…nervous. I haven't been at a wedding since, well…my own."

Lily gave him a surprised look. "Oh! Really? But I thought-"

"Just because I'm licensed to perform a wedding doesn't mean I've actually _done_ one before," Briney said. "It's not exactly like I've been around anyone long enough to marry them since…well…"

"Peeko," Lily said softly.

"Yeah," Briney said quietly. "Her." There was a pause, and then the Metang looked up at Lily, his eye softening. "You know…back before the…the incident, I'd always figured that when my kid finally got married to someone I approved of, I'd perform the wedding. Wanted to make sure it was legit and all. Seemed like the right thing to do for any child of my mine. You know why that idea didn't quite work out, though."

"Briney…" Lily said in concern.

"And then, when…when you and Leo came to me and asked me to-" Briney choked up for a moment, looking away. He rubbed his good eye on his arm and caught his breath before turning around. "When you asked me to marry the two of you, I felt…I felt like the kid Peeko and I never got to have was asking me to wed them."

Lily's eyes widened in astonishment. "I…r-really?!"

"Yeah…I…I care about the two of you a lot, okay? Not that you can tell the Squirtle or anything, he'd never let me hear the end of it," Briney said in embarrassment. "If I'm nervous, it's because…it's because I'm honored and grateful beyond words that the two of you asked me of all Pokémon to do this for you. I've watched your relationship grow from the very beginning, and to be here to help you move on to the next stage of your lives together, it's…it's kind of overwhelming. I…I want to make sure your trust in me is repaid in full, and that you and Leo get the chance for happiness my unborn kid never got, okay?"

Much to his surprise, Lily hugged him. "I understand. We love you and are eternally grateful, Briney. We know you'll make this the best wedding we could ever imagine."

To Briney's further surprise, he didn't shake her off immediately. "I…thank you, Lily. That…that means a lot to me. More than you can ever imagine." Smiling, he gently brushed her off. "Now…where's that husband of yours? We can't get started without him, and if he doesn't get here soon, I'm not sure this old sailor's heart can take much more of this waiting!"

Fortunately for Briney's nerves, the big doors at the back of the courtyard slowly creaked open, and Rebecca started conducting her chorus of elementals, who began to sing a beautifully ethereal rendition of a classic Fichinan wedding march. "All right, it's about time!" Victini said eagerly, only to be shushed by her elders.

Leo's wedding procession began walking up the aisle as Rebecca's spirit friends, with some help from Bow's own elemental colleagues, sung in the background. Team GX and Drakor Junior preceded the party, wearing adorable little dresses and scattering handfuls of snow from baskets they were carrying. Leo, resplendent in his wedding suit and cloak and badass in his shades, proudly marched behind the children, leaving footprints in the snow they were scattering. His father, a bowtie magnetically pinned to the front of his suit with a new paint job to make it look like a tuxedo, escorted him, while Ash and Pikachu walked on his other side, looking very handsome in their formal wear. Tiny hovered behind them, a cushion impaled on his horns with a pair of rings resting on it. More groomsmon, ushers, and the like followed in their wake, but nobody ever cares about those people anyway so we won't even dignify their presence.

As Leo walked towards the altar, he looked up towards his destination, and for the first time since last night he saw his bride. His heart skipped a beat, and he almost forgot to breathe for a moment. "Duuuuuude…"

"Congratulations, son," Brad said proudly.

"You really lucked out with this one, Leo," Pikachu said. "Good job."

Ash looked up at the altar, a sad smile on his face. For a moment, he could picture himself up there, standing opposite Misty…

"It'll never happen," his tormentor's voice acerbically cut through his fantasy. "She will never marry you. She died because of you and you haven't exactly done the best job of making her current life pleasant either. And even if she does, somehow, return your affections…you'll kill her, just like you kill everyone."

"You're wrong," Ash said under his breath.

"Am I? We'll see…" she said. "We'll see…" Ash frowned. Was it just him, or had that last part sounded almost…hopeful?

Leo and Lily locked eyes, and it was a good thing for the Squirtle that his father and Ash were on either side of him to make sure he didn't trip, because there was no way he could look where he was going without taking his eyes off his bride. _She's so beautiful,_ he thought.

_He's so handsome, _Lily thought, which wasn't something most people would _ever_ think of Leo.

_This is really happening,_ Leo thought as the snow kids scattered out of the way and he, his father, and his friends started ascending the staircase.

_This is really happening,_ Lily thought as she watched Leo come closer and closer.

Leo crested the staircase, not even slightly out of breath from the climb for a change, and moved to stand opposite Lily before Briney's podium, while Brad, Ash, Pikachu, and Tiny stood off to the side. _I am the luckiest wo/mon in the world,_ they thought at the same time.

As the music died down, Briney, enraptured by the sight of Leo and Lily staring at each other with so much love he could practically taste it, suddenly realized that was his cue to begin. He glanced again at his book before shutting it, rising above the podium, and spreading his arms. "Dearly beloved," he began. "Friends and family and Pokémon from all across the land. We are gathered here today to witness the union of this fine young mon, Leonardo DeKappa, and this lovely womon, Lily Yukihimi. The journey that brought these two to this moment was long and fraught with danger…identity-stealing Dittos. Eight-headed monsters. Bounty hunters. Undead pirates. Temporary insanity. A battle in the depths of the ocean. A war with forces from an icy other dimension. Lily's incredibly evil mother. A fight against an entire airship armada, a giant robot spider, and a number of evil gods. Let nobody say the path these two took to realize their love for each other, and that they wanted to spend their lives together, was _anything_ like easy.

"And now that path leads them to their greatest challenge yet: marriage, for as all we married mons know, marriage is not the end-all be-all of any relationship, or an excuse to slack off, and like anything in life you have to keep working at it to make sure it's still working properly. But with enough love—which, I assure you, these two have in _spades_—things have a tendency to work out for the better, and I have _every_ confidence that the same thing will happen to these two. They have what it takes to go the distance, and there aren't a lot of people I'd say that about."

He reached under his skullcap and pulled out several sheets of paper. "Now, I was given these custom wedding vows ahead of time, but since Leo's are apparently written in a language I highly doubt anyone here understands-"

"Exilic Quenyan, from Lady of the Rings," Leo said proudly.

"And Lily's were written with far too much help from the Fantasma girls and so are not only filled with an appalling amount of sentimental gibberish but a number of glaring innuendos that Lily can only be excused from not noticing due to her intense naivete about such matters…" Briney continued.

"Wait, what?!" Lily started.

"Whoops, busted," Bow hissed.

"So I'll spare everyone by getting rid of these and relying on something more traditional," Briney said, ripping the papers to shreds. Leo and Lily were too lost in each other's eyes to really notice or care. "So…do you, Leo, take Lily to be your wife, your partner in life and one true love?"

"I do," Leo said.

"Will you cherish your union and love her more each day than you did the day before?" Briney asked.

"I will," Leo said.

"Will you trust her and respect her, laugh with her and cry with her, love her faithfully through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles you may face together?" Briney asked.

"I will," Leo said.

"Will you give her your hand, your heart, and your love, from this day forward as long as you both shall live?" Briney asked.

"_I will,"_ Leo said.

"Good," Briney said. He turned to Lily. "Now it's your turn. Do you, Lily, take Leo to be your husband, your partner in life and one true love?"

"I do," Lily said.

"Will you cherish your union and love him more each day than you did the day before?" Briney asked.

"I will," Lily said.

"Will you trust him and respect him, laugh with him and cry with him, love him faithfully through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles you may face together?" Briney asked.

"I will," Lily said.

"Will you give him your hand, your heart, and your love, from this day forward as long as you both shall live?" Briney asked.

"_I will,"_ Lily said.

Briney cracked a smile. "That's what I thought." He gestured to Tiny. "The rings, please?" Tiny floated over and presented the cushion atop his head to the two lovers. Briney's eye glowed, and the two rings levitated into the air, where they were snatched up by Leo's hand and Lily's own telekinetic grip. "Now, exchange the rings, if you please."

Leo raised his ring. He hadn't made it himself, sadly—he hadn't had time—but it was his grandmother's, and so was still very special. It was a simple gold band with a ruby carved to look like a Squirtle shell held in a setting vaguely resembling a Squirtle's legs. As Lily maneuvered her hair around so it floated in front of her in one thick plait rather than hanging down her back, Leo said, "This ring is a token of my love. I marry you with this ring, with all that I have and all that I am."

Lily reached out and slipped the end of her hair through the ring until the band clicked against her engagement ring. "I will forever wear this ring as a sign of my commitment and the desire of my heart." She flicked her head, sending her hair back in its proper place, and floated up the ring meant for Leo. It was also a Yukhimi keepsake, her grandmother's, a band of deep blue never-melting ice with runes promising longevity and happiness and love inscribed on its insides, with a diamond shaped like a snowflake set in it. "This ring is a token of my love. I marry you with this ring, with all that I have and all that I am."

Leo held out his finger, and Lily slid it on. "I will forever wear this ring as a sign of my commitment and the desire of my heart," he vowed.

Hiding a smile, Briney addressed the guests. "Do you who are assembled here support this union and affirm that these two should be married today?"

"WE DO!" was the enthusiastic response from nearly everyone gathered in the courtyard, including the ninjas, and, much to his own surprise and delight, Nuken.

"Good," Briney said, glad he'd chosen that phrase rather than asking if anyone had any reason why Leo and Lily should not be married, because that might invite conflict and drama they didn't really need at that point. "Then I grant these two my blessing…but since I'm aware that might not be good enough for some people, I managed to get a Shaymin to bless this union as well, what with Leo being a Shayminite and all. Come on up here, Ms. Marley."

What at first appeared to be a sentient mass of blankets, scarves, jackets, coats, parkas, mittens, and boots but on closer examination was a Shaymin wearing a great deal of winter gear waddled onto the stage, stood between Leo and Lily, and announced, "I give my blessing to this union." She then waddled off the stage, in search of somewhere warmer.

Briney blinked. "…Huh. For some reason I thought that would take a bit longer." There were a few laughs from the audience. "In any event, with the vows sworn, the rings exchanged, and the blessing given, I hereby proclaim Leo and Lily to be husband and wife. You may now kiss each other."

The newlyweds didn't need to be told, and lunged at each other hungrily the instant Briney finished his sentence, fervently kissing each other as the guests cheered and applauded and many burst into tears and some of the children made faces and turned away while others stared in fascination.

"Oh, my little boy is all grown up and married…I'm so proud of him!" Judy sobbed.

"Why is he eating her face?" Iggy asked.

"Maybe she tastes good?" Morton suggested.

Wendy licked her lips. "Mmm, I wonder what she tastes like…" Judy snorted and struggled not to laugh. None of them understood why.

Collette, who had rejoined her family after marching up the aisle, sighed wistfully and shot Matthias a look. The Rattata paled and nudged Pichu. "She's giving me that _look_, mon…"

"Heh! See, I told you she had a crush on you!" Pichu laughed.

"What do I do?!" Matthias hissed.

Pichu shrugged. "Heck if I know. Girls are a complete mystery to me."

"Intriguing. Mimi gives me a similar look when she thinks I am not looking," Mizula observed. His brothers stared at him. "What?"

All of a sudden, some of the chains on Lily's face started glowing. Lily gasped and broke off her kiss. "O-oh! My face! It's burning up!"

There were alarmed murmurs among the guests…and looks of hope and elation on the faces of Lily's friends. "Yatta…" Leo whispered. "Yatta…yatta, yatta yatta yatta YATTA YATTA YATTA YAAAAAAAAAATTAAAAAAAAA!"

"Leo! What's happening?!" Lily cried in alarm as the glow intensified. "Ahhhh…it hurts!"

"I was right! It's happening just as I predicted it would!" Leo said excitedly.

"Wh-what is?!" Lily asked in confusion and fear and alarm.

"Lily…I'VE BROKEN YOUR CURSE!" Leo shouted.

"WHAT?!" Lily, and most of the guests, cried in astonishment.

"This was his plan all along, Lily," Nuken said, floating next to Leo and finding an odd desire to hug the Squirtle. He quickly quashed it down.

Fantina nodded as she joined them. "Leo believed zat ze curse tying you to Giratina could be broken if you could achieve a stronger bond wiz someone else."

"But there _is_ no stronger bond!" Lily protested in confusion.

"Wrong," Briney said. "There's the bond between husband and wife."

Lily's eyes widened. "Then…you mean…"

"That's right!" Leo said triumphantly. "By marrying me, we were able to create a bond strong enough to override Giratina's! As a result, her claim on you is disappearing!"

"But…but then does that mean…you only married me because…" Lily asked, looking uncertain and scared.

Leo blinked in surprise. "What? No! Nonononono! Don't you _ever_ think that, Lily! Yeah, I married you because I thought it'd break the curse…but I also married you because I LOVE you, Lily, and I want to be with you! Compared to that, freeing your soul from Giratina is just a side benefit."

Lily's eyes widened. "Then…this marriage is for real?"

"Of course it is! As real as anything is! As if I'd ever marry someone if I didn't love them!" Leo said.

Lily started tearing up. "Oh, Leo…once again, you've proven to me just why I wanted to marry you…" She squeezed her eyes shut and cried out in pain as the chain mark started writhing. "Aaahhh…AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

"LILY!" Leo, Fantina, and Nuken cried in alarm.

"Was it like this the last time?!" Pikachu asked in concern.

"N-no, it didn't look nearly this painful!" Ash cried.

"Lily!" Tiny cried worriedly.

Lily's face ripped itself apart as a writhing, flailing mass of chains burst out of her skin, the barbed links forged from a material that looked like darkness made solid, blacker than the darkest night. Their very presence caused everyone to flinch in pain and recoil, the lights seemed to dim several degrees, an unearthly chill that had nothing to do with the weather formed in their bones, and they could hear a voice reverberating through their minds that shook them down to their very souls, a voice of pure evil and hatred that triggered all the nerve endings in their bodies that managed pain and made them feel like it was slicing through them as sharply as a Scyther's blades. **"THIS. IS. NOT. OVER."**

"Yes," Leo said weakly as shafts of light started emanating from cracks forming in the black chains. "It is. You will never have Lily. Her soul is her own now. She's free…and now, you _never_ will be."

The chain exploded in a brilliant flash of light, with a sound akin to the enraged screams of a million damned souls. **"GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"**

The light returned. The feeling of pain and oppression lifted. There was no trace of the cursed chain remaining.

And Lily…

Lily was free. Truly, finally free.

Elsewhere…

"**BELLUM!"**

Bellum cried in alarm as the familiar voice rang through her mind, causing pain almost as bad as what Oblivion's Shadow had done to her for failing to kill the vampires to course through her body. "M-mistress! What-"

"**THE CURSE HAS BEEN BROKEN. LILY IS FREE."**

Bellum gawked. "Wh-what?! That's…that's not possible! I know the spell I had controlling her had a weak link, but there's no _way_ they could have broken yours! You're practically the inventor of dark magic, after all! Your curses have no weaknesses whatsoever!"

"**THERE IS ONE."**

"What?!" Bellum cried incredulously.

"**LOVE."**

"Love?! What does that have to do with anything?" Bellum asked in confusion and disbelief.

There was a frustrated growl that made Bellum feel like her head was about to rip open and spill her ectoplasmic innards across the walls. **"OF COURSE YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND. YOU NEVER COULD. ANOTHER REASON YOU CONTINUE TO FAIL ME."**

"M-mistress, I-" Bellum started.

"_**SILENCE**_**,"** Giratina said, and Bellum was quite certain if she weren't made of stronger stuff she would have disintegrated from primal terror. **"YET AGAIN, MEW HAS DEFEATED ME. YET AGAIN, HER PRECIOUS 'LOVE' HAS RUINED MY PLANS. AND NOW BECAUSE OF IT, AND BECAUSE YOU COULD NOT CONTROL YOUR DAUGHTER BETTER, I AM TRAPPED HERE…**_**FOREVER**__**!**_"

Bellum cringed, getting the feeling she was on very thin ice. "S-surely it's not as bad as all that! I-I mean, Lord Shadow is on the brink of finding a way to open the Door to the Abyss without all the Star Badges, and once we do-"

"**ONCE YOU DO, **_**NOTHING WILL CHANGE!**_**"**Giratina roared in fury, slamming Bellum against a wall. **"EVEN IF YOU WERE TO WALTZ RIGHT INTO MY PRISON, EVEN IF YOU WERE ABLE TO REVIVE THE RULER OF EVIL ITSELF, WITHOUT A SAMPLE OF THE POWER OF THE DRAGON GOD KING, WHO DEFEATED AND ENCHAINED ME SO MANY EONS AGO, NO POWER IN **_**ANY**_** WORLD CAN FREE ME FROM MY BONDS!"**

"Oh," Bellum said weakly.

"**AND NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU HAD DONE A BETTER JOB OF KEEPING YOUR PATHETIC DAUGHTER IN LINE!"** Giratina shouted angrily. One of Bellum's arms gave up the ghost (ha) and dissolved into ectoplasm which splattered the floor, much to her alarm. **"GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON WHY I SHOULD NOT PUNISH YOU FOR FAILING IN THIS ONE SIMPLE TASK AND SQUANDERING WHAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN MY **_**ONLY**_** CHANCE OF **_**EVER**_** BEING FREE!"**

"B-because…ah…" Bellum's mind raced quickly. "Because…because Lily still has that power inside of her, yes?"

"**YES, AND FOREVER OUT OF MY REACH!"**Giratina snarled.

"Wrong!" Bellum said, only realizing a second later it might not be the best idea to try and correct her infernal mistress. "I mean…Oblivion's Shadow will soon have the Door open, yes?"

"**SO YOU KEEP SAYING,"** Giratina growled.

"Well, once that happens, _naturally_ Team Aurabolt will chase after him once he passes through to seek out and resurrect the Ruler of Evil, right? To try and stop him?" Bellum continued. "And they'll no doubt have to pass through your prison on the way there…perhaps you could arrange to somehow take Lily back and drain the power from her you need to free yourself?"

Giratina considered this. **"YOUR IDEA HAS…MERIT,"** she said grudgingly. **"SINCE MY HOLD ON LILY HAS BEEN BROKEN, I CANNOT SIMPLY CLAIM HER SOUL THE INSTANT SHE ENTERS MY PRESENCE…HOWEVER…THERE **_**MIGHT**_** BE ANOTHER WAY…YES…YES, THAT JUST MIGHT WORK…"**Giratina chuckled, and Bellum winced, feeling like her eyeballs and eardrums were going to explode and her stomach was about to claw its way out of her belly. **"WELL DONE, BELLUM. I **_**KNEW**_** THERE WAS A REASON I HAVE NOT YET DEVOURED YOUR SOUL."**

"I unlive to serve you, Mistress," Bellum said with a bow.

"**YES, YOU DO,"** Giratina said. **"VERY WELL, BELLUM, YOU HAVE ONE MORE CHANCE TO MAKE THIS IDEA OF YOURS WORK. BUT BE WARNED…IF YOU FAIL…"**

Bellum swallowed. "Yes?"

"**THEN WHAT OBLIVION'S SHADOW DID TO YOU EARLIER THIS WEEK WILL FEEL LIKE A PLEASANT 'HAPPY ENDING' MASSAGE COMPARED TO WHAT I WILL DO TO YOU."**

Bellum gulped. "I-I would expect nothing less, Mistress."

"**GOOD. I'M GLAD WE UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER."**

Giratina's presence receded from Bellum's mind, much to her relief. She slumped against the wall, gasping for breath…

And then, with a scream of fury, she punched the wall hard enough to break a hole in it. "RRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Can that daughter of mine do _nothing_ without disappointing me in some manner?!"

Chobin poked his head through the wall. "Hey, could you be the keeping quiet of it silently and quietly without noise or interference that is loud and noisome and disruptively bad for concentration? Chobin is the sexing of making hate to your daughter with the screaming and the penetrating and ejaculation and bodily fluids and plasma and thrusting and sucking and electrocution and ejaculation and blood and semen and plasma and ejaculation and sucking and piercing and penetrating and penetrating and penetrating and bodily fluids and oral and anal and penal and electrical and other -als and-"

Bellum drove an icicle through his face, killing him, before storming off to regrow her arm, muttering furiously. Marianne's head popped up briefly on the other side of the hole. She frowned briefly at what her mother had done, then shrugged, pulled her boyfriend's corpse back into her room, and proceeded to violate it in all the ways Chobin had taught her to molest dead bodies after calling Tarantulas to request he send down the next clone so they could hump it together.

Back in Fichina…

"Well, that was utterly terrifying," Pikachu said after a moment.

"Daddy, I think I soiled myself," Tiny said.

"There's no shame in that, son," Ash said.

"Yes there is," Briney said.

"Not now, Briney," Ash said.

"…Peculiar. Is what I just experienced…true fear? I can't recall the last time I've experienced it. How novel," Nuken commented.

"Novel is not ze term I would use," Fantina said dryly as she went to comfort her frightened and weeping daughters.

_Was…was that…_ Sasha inquired.

_My predecessor? Yeah. Nasty bitch, isn't she?_ Darkrai said.

_That is an understatement,_ Sasha said.

_There's a reason I don't talk about her much,_ Darkrai said with a touch of sadness. _None of us do. You know how the legendary birds used to be good guys once? Well, so was she. Among the best, even. Her betrayal hurt us all…especially me, since she was like a mother to me. Not my actual mother—that's Mew—but…it hurt all the same._

_Angels fall furthest,_ Sasha mused.

_Yes,_ Darkrai said quietly._They certainly do._

"Giratina…" Lugia growled while the other mortal guests tried to pull themselves together from the brief intrusion of the veritable goddess of evil. Some of them were crying or in hysterics, and needed to be briefly removed from the proceedings to calm them down.

"It seems her lengthy imprisonment has not diminished her hatred much, nor shown her the error of her ways," Zekrom noted.

"Damn! I was born after her time, so I didn't know she was…like that," said a disturbed Victini.

"She was one of our greatest champions…until she allowed hatred and jealousy to consume her heart," Kyurem hissed. "This is why balance is important…to keep one from turning into a monster." Reshiram fidgeted slightly, but oddly had no comment to make on their fallen colleague.

Outlaw shuddered. _**"That was like…the voice of Unicron,"**_ she commented to Sam. _**"I had not thought that anything could equal the Chaos-Bringer in making me feel…like that."**_

"Scared?" Sam asked.

"_**No!" **_Outlaw said sharply. _**"Just…a bit unsettled, is all."**_

Leo didn't care about anyone else's reactions to encountering the voice of the Ruler of Evil's second-in-command. He'd told her off, after all. No, what mattered most to him was his bride, lying on the ground before him. "Lily!" he cried, running over to her.

Lily grunted as her face finished growing back together. "L-Leo!" she gasped. She hugged the Squirtle, catching him off-guard. "You did it! You really did it! I had not believed it possible, but you actually did it! I'm free, Leo, free at last!"

"Heh, I told you I'd do it, didn't I?" Leo said, hugging her back.

Tears of joy ran down her cheeks. "I cannot even begin to describe how I feel right now…it's like a shadow that has been hanging over me my entire unlife, one I had become so used to I had forgotten it was there, is gone…and now my soul is mine, my unlife is mine, and I am finally free of the last of my mother's dreadful machinations! And none of it would have been possible without you, my wonderful, brilliant, unparalleledly nerdy champion, the best husband in all of creation!"

"Heck yeah! Wait, did you call me nerd-" Leo was cut off when Lily kissed him full on the lips, causing him to forget what he was saying. It caused the guests to forget the psychological trauma and lingering terror from hearing Giratina's voice as well, and they started cheering again.

"My little boy's broken the curse binding his wife's soul to the Abyss…I'm so proud!" Judy sobbed.

"What just happened?" asked a confused Ludwig.

"I have no idea," Drakor Junior said. "It was scary, though."

"I wasn't scared!" said Roy, which was a baldfaced lie.

Suddenly, Tiny realized something was wrong. "Wait a minute…there's still a chain on her face!"

Ash started, as did everyone else as they did a double-take and realized that yes, Lily did indeed still have one last chain-shaped scar on her face. "Wh-what?!"

"But…I thought the curse was broken!" Pikachu protested. "What's that doing there?!"

"Oh no…did it not work completely after all?" Fantina asked in alarm.

"Hmm? Oh! I completely forgot about that!" Lily said as she broke off her kiss and realized what everyone was staring at. "This last curse is my own. I cast it on myself centuries ago when Mother tried to force my evolution by feeding me a Dusk Stone in an attempt to prematurely activate Giratina's claim on my soul. It's suppressing the Dusk Stone's power and keeping me as a Misdreavus."

"But now that Giratina no longer has any claim on you…that means you can release this last spell, can't you?" Leo asked.

Lily hesitated. "I…suppose I could, yes. That hadn't occurred to me, to be honest. I've been trying so long _not_ to evolve that the idea of doing so upon achieving freedom—which I'd long given up hope of ever gaining-has never crossed my mind."

"But now that you can do it without any negative consequences, what's keeping you from doing it?" Nuken asked.

Lily considered this for a moment. "…Nothing, I suppose. If I evolve, I will be able to access my full magical potential, increased even further by the blessing I received from Reshiram and the power from Rayquaza that was infused into me on my unbirth. I will become one of the most powerful sorceresses on Earth."

"I'm liking the sound of this," Leo said eagerly.

Lily frowned. "But…is that a good thing? Power can change a person. And…I like who I am now, something it's taken me a long time to realize and come to terms with. If I evolve…will I become someone else?"

"No," Leo said.

"No way," Ash said.

"Not happening!" Tiny agreed.

"A preposterous notion," Nuken said.

"Not a chance," said Brad.

"Never," said Briney.

"_Non!_" the Fantasmas all said in unison.

"It will never happen," Atlametheus agreed.

"Highly implausible," Sasha said.

_Ridiculous!_ Darkrai said.

_Impossible,_ Dawn said.

_No way, no how!_ B said.

"NO!" almost everyone in attendance declared.

Lily's eyes widened in disbelief. "Wh-what?"

"Lily, come on, do you really think achieving ultimate arcane power's going to change who you are?" Ash asked.

"You're you, and after all the progress you've made to become you, I highly doubt something as superficial as an evolution will make you any different," Pikachu said.

"You're Lily, whether you're a Misdreavus, or a Mismagius, or even a Stunfisk!" Tiny said.

"You are my daughter, and always will be," Nuken said.

"And you're _my_ daughter-in-law, and always will be!" Brad said.

"You're made of too strong stuff to be changed by evolution," Briney said, deciding at that moment what he was going to tell Smithy the next time he saw him. Which should be soon, since he was in the audience with everyone else.

"You are far too pure of heart to be tainted by power!" Fantina said.

"You are a far better womon than your mother ever was, and shall never become like her," Atlametheus assured her.

"You are our friend," Sasha said.

_Our teammate,_ Dawn said.

_Our hope_, B and Darkrai said.

"You're the womon I love. The womon I married," Leo said. "No matter what you look like, or what you become, or what powers you gain…you'll still be you, and we'll still love you."

"_All_ of us will," Ash said firmly. Everyone on the altar, and just about everyone in the seats, nodded in agreement.

Misty opened her mouth to challenge that assertion, to ask if Ash's friends would say the same thing of him when he had turned into an omnicidal monster and was brutally massacring them…and found that she couldn't. Try as she might, she couldn't bring herself to say it. Not this time. "What…what's happening to me?" she whispered. "I _hate_ Ash. Tormenting him is the only reason I exist. So why can't I do it now? What…what's happening to me?"

Lily stared at her friends, her family, with wide, wet eyes. "Atlametheus?" she said finally.

"Yes, Mistress?" the Golurk asked.

"Please hold onto these for me," Lily said, magically removing her wedding dress and veil and train and jewelry and putting it in the servitor's hands.

"Mistress?" Atlametheus asked in confusion.

"Lily, what are you doing?" Leo asked in concern.

"Evolving," Lily said. "The power of evolution has been building up inside of me for hundreds of years, so it's probably going to come out in a pretty big burst. I'm not sure my dress would survive it, no matter how many enchantments are on it, and I don't want to ruin something that belonged to my grandmother. That seems like something my mother would do."

Atlametheus stared at her wordlessly for a moment, before bowing. "She would have loved you, you know. You are a worthy successor to her title, far more than your mother ever was."

"Like that's hard," Briney snarked, earning him some glares from the others.

"Do you want me to hold onto your hat?" Leo asked, giddy with excitement at the thought of Lily evolving. From the eager looks on the faces of the others, it was clear he wasn't the only one.

Lily shook her head. "No. This hat's been with me for as long as I can remember, so long it's practically a part of me. It's survived everything I've ever gone through so far, and I'm confident it'll survive this as well. You may hold onto these, though," she said, offering him her scarf and badge. "These are too precious to me to risk in such a manner."

"And the rings?" Leo asked, glancing at her wedding and engagement rings, which were still in her hair. "Aren't those too precious to risk, too?"

Lily glanced at them for a moment before smiling. "What was it you said last night…that as long as I have these, you will always be with me?"

Leo grinned. "Something like that, yeah."

"Then I can't imagine possibly doing something as big as this without my husband by my side," Lily said.

Leo sniffed and shook his head as some of the others started tearing up. "I've made you into a romantic. I'm so proud."

"There _is _one other thing you can do for me, though," Lily said.

Leo raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

Without warning, she kissed him. This one was, sadly, far shorter than some of the previous ones, but no less enjoyable for either of them. When Lily regretfully pulled away, she said, "That was for good luck."

"Ah," Leo said. "You, uh, wanna try for some more luck?"

She laughed. "If I did, we'd be here all day, and I don't think that's fair to everyone else, do you?"

"Screw 'em," Leo said. "You're my wife and I can kiss you as much as I want."

"And you will," Lily said, kissing him on the cheek and causing him to blush. "Soon enough." She floated away from him. "The amount of power that's going to be unleashed when I break the spell will be considerable, so I'll fly up a safe distance to make sure nobody gets hurt by the backlash."

"Very considerate of you," Briney said.

"It's necessary; I can sense the power inside of her…it would be in all of our best interests not to be standing right next to her when she evolves," Sasha said.

"Zis is going to be _magnifique…_I'm so excited!" Fantina said eagerly.

"Me too!" Bow said.

"Go on, Lily. We'll wait for you right here," Ash said.

"Go, Lily!" Tiny cried. "Lily, Lily, Lily!"

Taking up the Pupitar's cry, one by one the guests began chanting the Misdreavus's name. Her eyes wide and her heart warming as virtually everyone in the courtyard started cheering her on, including and especially Leo, Lily smiled. "Thank you…all of you…my dear friends…"

Abruptly, she shot into the sky, the rapid displacement of air sending some of the snow on the altar billowing away and spraying it into the faces of her friends. Nobody cared; they just kept on chanting her name. Lily rose higher and higher into the air until she judged herself at a safe enough distance to evolve. She looked down…and for a moment, forgot how to breathe. (Not that she needed to, but you know what I mean.)

Spread out beneath her was the entirety of her estate; not just the manor, but the forests and mountains and glaciers and tundra and snow-covered fields of the Everfreeze spreading out for miles and miles. She could see Ice Pokémon frolicking through the woods and icy lakes, ice elementals and other mystical creatures stalking about the glaciers, and even a frost giant or two lumbering through the mountains while ice trolls scurried to get out of their way and ice dragons flew around their heads. _It's so beautiful,_ she realized. _I've never seen it from this angle before. And it's all mine…_

_It's your heritage, Lily,_ B said. _Your birthright._

_Mother squandered and ruined all this,_ Lily said. _Before, I didn't care that much about the Yukihimi name and what it meant, but now…now I'm starting to see. It's not just a title with lots of wealth and a fancy house attached to it, is it? It's all this…and more. This is my responsibility. This is where I belong._ She looked down at the courtyard far below her, and was certain she could make out one blue speck cheering her name. She smiled. _With him._

_Are you ready?_ B asked.

Lily unraveled her braid so that her hair was flowing freely behind her, and brought two of the strands forward so she could stare at the rings wrapped around their ends. She kissed both rings, smiled, and nodded. _Yes. I'm ready._ She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and released her spell.

The last chain on her face started to glow.

From the ground, Lily was almost invisible, a bluish-green dot lost amidst the white and gray of the swirling snow. That didn't stop everyone from chanting and continuing to stare up at the skies to try and catch a glimpse of her, though. Their task became a lot easier when that little bluish-green speck began to glow a brilliant white…a white which flared outwards like a star being born, causing everyone to cry out and shield their eyes as they were temporarily blinded by the flash. A shockwave of raw, unadulterated power blasted outwards, shaking the manor and causing several decorative icicles to fall and nearly skewer some unfortunate Pokémon who'd been sitting underneath them. Ice covering nearby lakes violently cracked and started splitting, causing the Pokémon who'd been skating on top of it to frantically scramble to get off before they fell into the water. The mountains trembled and groaned, and several sheets of glacial ice cracked off and tumbled downwards in impressive avalanches.

In her iceberg lair, Bellum screamed in agony as Giratina roared in fury inside her head, causing the latest Chobin clone to yell at her to shut up because she was making it harder for him to have sex with her daughter.

Deep beneath Wyvern Hill in Kanjohenn, something stirred. The temple priestess started as she sensed this. _This power…so soon?! The Dragon Star hasn't even reached its zenith yet!_ She raced towards her quarters, where she kept her communicator. _ I must alert His Excellency at once!_

In Pokémon Square, Rayquaza, who'd been having a lovely luncheon with Latias at one of the town's nicest cafes, started. "D-did you just feel that?"

Latias nodded, a gentle smile on her face as she levitated a cup of tea to her mouth. "I did."

"What…what just happened?!" Rayquaza demanded.

Latias chuckled, blew on her tea, and took a sip. "Something _wonderful._"

Back in Fichina, everyone looked on in awe at the shining nova high above them. "Zis power…_tres magnifique_! It's unbelievable!" Fantina gasped.

"Her Aura's increased immensely!" Ash said in astonishment.

"I didn't even know it came in those colors!" Tiny said.

"This…this power…Your Excellency?!" Nuken cried incredulously.

"Lily…" Leo whispered, eyes glistening in awe.

Above them, the light compacted and elongated, twisting and turning about to create a massive serpentine form. With a spectacular roar, the light faded, revealing what looked to everyone below like nothing less than a purple Rayquaza…

But no, it must have been a trick of the light, because there was no Rayquaza, but something else, something rapidly descending towards the altar. The Pokémon gathered on the stage quickly backed out of the way as the object, which was clearly Lily, gradually slowed its descent and gently drifted down towards them. Everyone except Leo, who just stared at what his wife had become in awe and wonder.

Lily's 'skirt' had now become a long, flowing purple cloak of ectoplasm with yellow ring-like symbols covering it rippling in an ethereal breeze with what looked sort of like a finned tail emerging from the bottom. Three emerald elliptical spheres formed a necklace wrapped around a long, vaguely serpentine neck with a pair of small rudder-like fins on the back. Both of her rings were embedded in the central, largest gemstone. Her hat had gained a much wider and thicker brim, dwarfing her head, with several tufts growing from the sides, crown, and peak somewhat resembling Rayquaza's horns. Her head was round, but had a slight bulge in the front almost like a reptilian muzzle, with a thin red mouth and a few tiny but sharp fangs. Four small horns resembling Rayquaza's framed her face, which had a glowing tattoo looking like Rayquaza where her old curse scar used to be. Her eyes, rather than being yellow with red irises, were instead black with yellow irises. She was unlike any Mismagius any of them had ever seen before…and devastatingly beautiful at that, with an aura of unmistakable _power_ but also _benevolence _surrounding her vaguely reminiscent of Queen Ninianne's.

"Mistress…" Atlametheus said in awe.

"Sacre bleu…" Fantina whispered.

"Mama, she…she's almost as pretty as you!" Mirami said.

"No," Fantina said. "Not 'almost.'"

"My…my daughter…" Nuken whispered in awe. _She looks like…an avatar of the Dragon God King himself!_

"Wow," Tiny said.

"Huh. Not bad," Briney said dazedly.

"What the…why does she look like that?! That's not what Mismagiuses look like!" Pikachu said.

Dawn frowned. _Is there something wrong with the way she looks?_

"Wh-what? No, of course not! It's just…she doesn't look like most Mismagiuses, is all," Pikachu said.

"The power of Rayquaza sealed inside her all this time has fused with her DNA, causing an altered evolution," Sasha said.

"How do you know that?" asked an amazed Ash.

Sasha shrugged. "Darkrai said so."

"Oh," Ash said.

Dawn frowned in thought. _Does that mean…I will look different too, when I evolve, for I have Darkrai's blessing?_ She clenched a paw into a fist. _And…when will I evolve, anyway? Darkrai said it would happen when I know true happiness…but…aren't I already happy? I have friends. I have a loving master whom I shall soon wed. What more do I need to be happy? Unless…would killing Paul do it?_ She nodded to herself. _Yes…that must be it. When I kill Paul, I will finally evolve. My revenge will be complete…and I shall be born anew, and at last able to speak, and tell Master how much I love him with my own voice. All I have to do…is kill Paul…_

Unbeknownst to her, Darkrai was listening in on her thoughts, and shook his head, amused by just how _wrong_ she was. _She'll figure it out eventually,_ he thought to himself.

_Well done, Lily…I'm so proud of you…_ B whispered.

Lily smiled tentatively at Leo, who was just staring at her with his jaw hanging open. She didn't think he was shocked or horrified by her appearance—not if the way everyone else was looking at her was anything to go by—but why wouldn't he say anything? Struggling to think of something to break the ice, an idea occurred to her that she was absolutely certain Leo would appreciate. Her smile broadening, she said, "Am I so beautiful that you've no words left?"

Leo closed his mouth, and blinked, and burst into laughter. "You remembered one of my favorite lines from one of my favorite games…"

"I remember _all_ your favorite lines from your favorite games," Lily said with a giggle.

Leo shook his head. "Lily, you look…wow. Just…wow. I mean, you were hot stuff before, but _now?_ _Damn!_"

Lily smiled. "I take it you approve?"

"And HOW! I've got the most beautiful wife in the world! Uh, not to say I don't appreciate all of your many, many other qualities, of course…" Leo said quickly.

Lily laughed. "Oh, Leo." She levitated him into the air and kissed him full on the lips.

"My little boy's wife has evolved into a beautiful womon…I'm so proud!" Judy sobbed.

"Why does she look like that?" Wendy asked.

"Heck if I know," Roy said.

"She's so pretty…why can't I look that good?!" Missy sobbed, much to the embarrassment of the Thunderblades sitting next to her.

"Why do they keep kissing?!" Tiny whined.

"They're newlyweds, it's what they do," Ash said.

"So Uncle Pikachu and Aunt Dawn will be kissing each other a lot after they get married?" Tiny asked.

Pikachu and Dawn glanced at each other, blushed, and looked away. "I…yeah. Maybe," Pikachu said sheepishly.

_I-if that is what my Master wishes,_ Dawn clicked.

"Well, it's not what _I_ wish," Tiny muttered.

Brad chuckled. "You'll change your tune when you find a girl you like, kiddo."

"Ew, yuck," Tiny said in disgust.

Briney sighed and looked away from Leo and Lily's embrace, memories of his own wedding overwhelming him. "Oh, Peeko…" he whispered. "We were that happy once too, weren't we?"

"Impressive…" Lugia murmured. "I had sensed the power of Rayquaza within her, but I had not thought it would have such an effect on her appearance."

"She's been suppressing it her entire unlife," Zekrom said. "It only makes sense it would have some kind of effect on her once she finally unleashed it."

"Is that why she didn't change when Reshiram blessed her?" Victini asked.

Reshiram nodded. "That, and my blessing was not as great as the power she had within her. After all, I am but a goddess of truth…while Rayquaza…is the King of all Dragons."

Victini frowned. "Then that purple Rayquaza we saw…it wasn't just a trick of the light, was it?"

"No," Kyurem hissed. "It was not."

"Heh. Interesting," Victini said. "Think we should tell her?"

"She will figure it out for herself soon enough…if she hasn't already," Lugia said with a smile as he watched the couple kiss, reminded of his own union to his mate. "Let them have this moment now. The weightier matters can wait until tomorrow."

"This is, without a doubt, the best day of my life," Leo said the next time Lily let him get some air as he helped her put her scarf and badge back on. "Nearly all my friends and family were ab le to make it; I'm married to the best girl in the world; I managed to save her from an eternity of damnation, and got to see her turn into some kinda demi-god thing. How could this day get any better?"

Lily stiffened and turned to look off into the distance. "The estate's defenses are picking up something incoming! Something powerful…and _big!_"

"Yes!" Leo whooped. "I knew something awesome would happen if I said that!"

"I'll activate the defenses. Everyone, prepare yourselves-" Lily started.

"Wait!" Rebecca cried, floating onto the stage. "The spirits say it's not hostile! It's a friend…one who wants to talk to Leo!"

"Me?" Leo asked in surprise.

"Him?!" Pikachu and Nuken asked at the same time. They looked at each other in surprise.

"What does it want with Leo?!" Lily asked, floating protectively in front of her husband, something he admired greatly.

"It needs to talk to you. Something about…Mewgle," Rebecca said.

Everyone stiffened. Pikachu groaned. "Oh, not _him_ again…"

"Lily, let whoever it is in. This is important," Leo said.

Lily nodded, eyes glowing. "I'm lowering the defenses as we speak."

"Hohoho, _this_ should be interesting," Cherry chortled to herself among the other guests, already knowing what was coming.

A speck appeared on the horizon, one that grew at a steady rate and resolved itself into a great, glowing figure. It approached at an astonishing rate, reaching them within seconds of its first appearance and leaving everyone gaping in awe as it hovered over the courtyard, bathing all below in its light as its massive wingspan filled their entire field of vision. It was a phoenix much like Ho-Oh. Unlike the legendary Rainbow Bird, however, this firebird's plumage was solid gold, its tail feathers were shorter and not quite as impressive, its neck was thicker, its head was larger and rounder, its beak was short and closer in resemblance to that of a Blaziken's, and its crest went straight back rather than sticking up. In addition, its legs were _much_ longer, somewhat like a Doduo's, ending in impressively sharp talons.

"Well, that's not something you see every day," Looker commented.

"You know, I almost feel bad about knocking out Todd now, he'll probably get in a lot of trouble for not getting a picture of some of the things that have happened so far," Palmer said.

"Eh," Looker said, not really caring.

"Choc-Oboh! I have not seen her in ages!" said a surprised Lugia. "I had not known she was free…"

"We had heard rumors of her revival recently, as well as a great battle between her and Mewgle out by Aegis Cave," Zekrom said.

Reshiram nodded. "Nobody's seen either of them since, though…although I did hear something about her flying to the east for some reason, carrying a Wobbuffet and Cacturne."

"I see…" Lugia murmured. "But if she is here then…there can only be one reason."

Kyurem nodded. "It is time for Leonardo to take the next step towards fulfilling his destiny."

"What…what is that?! Is that Ho-Oh?!" Pikachu asked.

"I don't remember her being that golden…" Ash said.

"It's not Ho-Oh," Leo said, scanning the phoenix with his sunglasses. "It's Choc-Oboh…a spirit of gaming who's been sealed away for millennia but was recently freed."

"Spirit of…there's another one?!" Pikachu asked incredulously. He groaned. "As if Mewgle wasn't bad enough…"

"Funny you should mention him," Leo said. "According to this, Choc-Oboh is Mewgle's good counterpart as well as his…ex-wife. Huh. That's…an image I did not need in my head."

"Mewgle was _married?!_" Pikachu asked in disbelief.

"Well, this just gets weirder and weirder…" Briney commented.

"I have no idea what's going on anymore. Does that happen a lot around you guys?" Brad asked.

"Yes," everyone on Team Aurabolt said.

"What…what does she want?" Lily asked, pressing close to Leo.

"Heck if I know. Rebecca?" Leo asked the spiritualist.

"Um…let's see if I can talk to her…great Choc-Oboh! Why have you graced us with your presence?" the Frillish asked.

Choc-Oboh's eyes glowed, and so did Rebecca's. She stiffened, and turned to Leo. "I am here to speak with Leo," she said in a voice not her own.

"Oh great, now she's possessed," Pikachu groaned.

Ash frowned. "I feel like I've seen lots of Pokémon speak to people through other mediums like this for some reason…usually a Meowth…even if the Pokémon communicating has no actual Psychic powers…"

"Actually, zat's not possession, per se," Agatha interrupted.

Morticia nodded. "As a spiritualist, Rebecca can channel spirits from ozzer planes and serve as a mouzpiece for zeir grievances wiz ze people of our world. Sometimes quite literally, as you can see 'ere."

"Will she be all right?" Sasha asked.

"Assuming zis spirit is indeed benign, zan yes," Mirami said.

"If not…zan we might 'ave a problem," Bow said.

Nuken floated in front of Leo and Lily. "Leonardo is my son-in-law. If you mean him any harm…"

"I wish no harm on your son-in-law," Choc-Oboh said through Rebecca. "If anything, I wish to help him…and perhaps be helped in return."

"This is about Mewgle, isn't it?" Leo said, moving past Lily and Nuken's protection, to their dismay. "What's he done now?"

"Mewgle has managed to awaken and bind himself to an ancient evil called Leviathan, a weapon created long ago by the Ruler of Evil that feasts upon souls and spirits alike. With its power added to his own, Mewgle is stronger than ever before…and that much closer to accomplishing his dream of becoming Game Master of all reality," Choc-Oboh said. "I battled him recently near Aegis Cave, but, although I was able to drive him off, I could not defeat him. Only you, Leo, Mewgle's destined archnemesis, who has battled him again and again throughout history, can truly vanquish him."

Leo frowned. "And let me guess, you need me to put him down once again?"

"Not just once again…for all time. The final battle between the two of you, foreordained ages ago, is swiftly approaching…and with Leviathan on his side, Mewgle has a very good chance of winning," Choc-Oboh said. "However, if we were to join forces, our combined power might be enough to tip the scales back in our favor and enable us to defeat Mewgle once and for all."

"…Yeah, I could see that working," Leo admitted. "How exactly would we go about doing that, though?"

"Leo-" Lily said in concern.

"Don't worry, Lily, she's on the level. I can tell," Leo said, tapping his shades.

"Heh, that's my boy!" Brad said approvingly.

"We would have to become pact partners, just as Mewgle and Leviathan are," Choc-Oboh said. "I would grant you my power and dwell within you, and you can call upon that power—and even summon me—when necessary."

Leo raised an eyebrow. "Now that sounds interesting. Could I do this whenever I want, or only against Mewgle?"

"As a spirit of gaming, my power is at its strongest when used in a game, _especially_ against Mewgle, but you can still call upon it in other circumstances, though it won't be as strong," Choc-Oboh said.

"Hmm. I can live with that," Leo said, his interest growing. "And what kind of powers are you going to grant me, exactly?"

"A form of probability alteration similar to Mewgle's to increase the chances of your winning in any conflict, advice and guidance in a variety of situations, as well as the ability to manifest certain objects or characters from games just like Mewgle can…though again, only in certain circumstances," Choc-Oboh said.

Leo's eyebrows rose at this. "_Really?_ Now, that could come in all sorts of handy…"

"Oh Arceus, why am I getting a very bad feeling about this?" Pikachu moaned.

"I don't suppose you could also give me…immortality?" Leo asked hopefully.

"Leo!" Lily gasped in alarm.

"Come on Lily, we've talked about this, we both agreed it was okay for me to try to live forever, especially since it means we can stay together, right? So I should pursue every opportunity when it's open to me, shouldn't I?" Leo asked, to which Lily reluctantly agreed.

Choc-Oboh considered this. "I am afraid I cannot grant you true immortality-"

"Awww," Leo said in disappointment.

"However, as a phoenix and a spirit of gaming, I can give you a form of resurrective immortality," Choc-Oboh said. "If you are to fall in battle, I can revive you almost instantaneously."

Leo perked up at this. "You mean I get infinite lives?!"

"Well, I wouldn't say _infinite_, but something like that," Choc-Oboh said.

"Yatta!" Leo cheered. "I will be INVINCIBLE!"

"Well, no, you can still die," Choc-Oboh said.

"But then I'll get back up a second later with no penalties! Uh, wait, am I gonna lose some of my cash and goodies and only respawn with a fraction of my health at the last checkpoint?" Leo asked.

"No," Choc-Oboh said.

"Yattaaaaaaaaaa!" Leo cheered.

"Aaaand that bad feeling's getting worse," Pikachu groaned.

"Wait, Leo won't be able to die in battle? Does that mean he can get killed as much as he wants and be okay?" Tiny asked.

"I…think so," Ash said.

"That does not seem quite fair," Sasha said with a frown. "A person should only get one life…well, two if they're Ghosts." _Master, surely you're not allowing this?_

_Hey, I told you immortality's going to be in vogue sooner or later,_ Darkrai said. _Plus, I told Leo a while back something like this might be a good possibility for him to gain eternal life, so if he wants it, I see no reason he shouldn't go for it._

_Look on the bright side, Master, if he gets on your nerves I can kill him as much as you want and he'll be fine,_ Dawn said. _Albeit a bit annoyed at you._

Pikachu perked up at this. "There is that."

"Leo, is this really a good idea?" Lily asked in concern.

"Why not? I mean, it's not like I'm the only person here sharing space with someone in their heads," Leo pointed out. "You've got B, Sasha has Darkrai, Ash has that creepy zombie Misty-"

"Hey!" Ash said.

"He's right, I am a creepy zombie," Misty admitted.

"And Briney is pretty much the voice in everyone's heads," Leo continued.

"That's right, I am," Briney said smugly.

"So really, I get some kickass new powers and something like immortality, what are the drawbacks of this?" Leo asked.

"The fact that if you agree to this pact, you're going to have to face off against Mewgle again?" Pikachu pointed out. _And may get even more on our nerves than you already do?_

"We all knew it was inevitable I'd run into him again anyway, didn't we?" Leo pointed out. "Considering that he's gunning for me, and it's apparently our destiny to fight again, right? So, if it's gonna happen anyway, I might as well be as prepared as possible and have as many aces up my sleeve as I can, right?"

"…I suppose so," Pikachu admitted. "I am a believer in destiny, and if this is yours, then I guess there's nothing we can do about it but help you to reach it." _Even if it sounds like a pretty stupid destiny to me…_

_Plus, if I do this, maybe I won't feel like I'm being left behind, no matter what everyone else says,_ Leo thought to himself. "So, how do we do this?" Leo asked out loud.

"Then you agree to form a pact?" Choc-Oboh asked.

"Pshyeah, why wouldn't I?" Leo asked.

"Very well. Do you have a blank card?" Choc-Oboh asked.

"Of course, never leave home without one," Leo said, reaching into his shell and pulling out what looked like a Lu-Gi-Oh card, but the picture and text box were both blank.

Nuken gave the card a confused look. "Why were you carrying that around?"

"Just in case of a situation like this," Leo said.

"…Why…why would you have ever thought you would-" Nuken started.

"Sir? It's Leo. Don't ask," Ash said. Nuken sighed and relented.

"Now raise the card towards me," Choc-Oboh said.

"Okay," Leo said, lifting the card and pointing it as Rebecca.

There was a pause. "The _actual _me, not the spiritualist," Choc-Oboh said.

"Huh? Oh! Right. Silly me," Leo said, laughing Mareepishly, quickly changing directions. "Now what?"

"Now you must-" Choc-Oboh started.

"Leo, wait!" Lily started.

Leo paused. "Huh? What is it, babe?" He stiffened, a thought occurring to him. "Oh…oh, I'm sorry, I should have talked to you first before agreeing to do something this big, didn't I? Oh gosh, I'm sorry…are you not on board with this? If you're not, then-"

"It-it's not that," Lily said quickly. "Though I _would_ have liked it if we talked about this first." Leo winced at that. "I'm…just a little concerned, is all. I want you to live forever, too, but…that's not the only reason you're doing this, right? Because you want to fulfill your dream, and because you want to feel like you can keep up with the rest of us?"

"What? No, of course not!" Leo said. "I mean, that's part of it, yeah, but…look, Mewgle's out there, and Because Destiny Said So I'm the only guy who can stop him. If he's gotten stronger, then so can I, and if Choc-Oboh is Mewgle's biggest enemy aside from myself, it only makes sense for us to partner up, doesn't it?"

"I…suppose so," Lily admitted reluctantly. "I'm just…worried it'll change you."

"Like you were worried evolving would change you?" Leo said in bemusement.

"This is different!" Lily insisted. "You'll be letting another entity into your body. I've read about possessions, Leo. I know how they can change people."

"I've read about possession too, Lily, and I'm fairly certain letting Choc-Oboh in isn't going to alter me to the point where I'm no longer the mon you love," Leo said. He paused, and then glanced at Choc-Oboh. "Um, it's not, is it?"

"No, it's not," the phoenix said in bemusement.

"There, you see?" Leo said brightly.

"Leo…" Lily said, not convinced.

"Look, Lily, I'm not just doing this for me. This is for _us_, okay?" Leo said. "Mewgle hates me. Really, truly, utterly hates me, just like your mom hates you. Except maybe worse, as hard as that may be to believe. He'll do everything he can to destroy not just me, but you, and everything else I care about. If I'm going to stop him, and protect the people I care about…protect _you_…then I need to be as strong as I possibly can be, and right now making this pact looks like the best way to go about doing that." He touched her cheek. "This is for our future…because if I can't stop Mewgle now, we won't have any, and neither will our children, if and when we decide to have some."

"…" Lily chuckled and shook her head resignedly. "You always know exactly what to say, don't you?"

"I've played enough dating sims to figure out how to talk to ladies," Leo said.

Brad laughed at that. "He wasn't joking," Pikachu said.

Brad blinked. "Wait, really?" Pikachu nodded. "…Oh dear…"

_He'll be okay, won't he?_ Lily asked B.

_Definitely. You can trust Choc-Oboh,_ B promised. _She's nothing like Mewgle._

…_Very well. _"All right then. Do it. For our future," Lily said.

"For our future," Leo repeated. He kissed her, then turned back to Choc-Oboh and raised his card. "Okay, what now?"

"Do you promise to use the power I will bestow upon you responsibly and only use it to fight the forces of evil…and Mewgle?" Choc-Oboh asked.

"Yes," Leo said.

"Let's see how long it takes him to abuse that power for shits and giggles," Pikachu muttered.

"Care to lay money on it?" Ash asked.

Pikachu shook his head. "No, it's a sucker's bet."

"Then the pact is formed," Choc-Oboh said. Rebecca gasped and stumbled, her eyes going back to normal as the spirit severed their connection. Choc-Oboh spread her wings and shrieked, then dove down towards Leo. The others flinched back in alarm, but as she approached she elongated and narrowed, her form dissolving into a golden stream of fire which struck the card in Leo's hand, creating a shockwave that buffeted everyone back, blew Leo's lips back to show his gums, and ripped his suit and cloak off of him.

"My clozes!" Fantina cried in alarm.

"Guess you forgot to proof zem against possession," Bow commented as Fantina raced to collect the pieces of the suit before they could fly too far away.

The last of the flames entered the card, which flashed and changed to show a holographic image of Choc-Oboh herself, with text appearing in the box under the image to describe the phoenix's level, type, and abilities. Leo stumbled back in amazement as power unlike anything he'd ever felt before surged through him, and an emblem resembling a stylized outline of Choc-Oboh with wings outsretched on either side of her appeared on the back of his shell. _It is done,_ Choc-Oboh's voice echoed in Leo's head.

"Yatta," he whispered.

"Leo, there's something on your back!" Lily said in alarm.

"Huh? What?! Oh no!" Leo cried in horror. "Did I turn right when I was supposed to turn left?! Did I just kill the Doctor?! Am I going to have to throw myself in front of a truck to change the past and save the Doctor from drowning and the Delaks from putting out every star in the sky?!"

"…_What?!_" Nuken said.

"He does that sometimes," Sasha said deadpan.

"…Oh my," Brad said.

"I am starting to reconsider giving them my blessing," Nuken said.

Lily sighed. "No Leo, it's not a member of the Trickster's Brigade, it's some sort of a magical marking."

"Huh? A marking? Wait…could it be?" Leo retracted into his shell and popped back out a second later, except now he was facing the opposite direction, wearing his shell backwards. He looked down at his shell and squealed excitedly. "Oh, sweet! I'm a Marker!"

"A what?" Ash asked in confusion.

"He doesn't look like a marker to me," Tiny said. "Aren't they small and made of plastic and I'm not supposed to put them in my mouth for some reason?"

"No, no, no," Leo said. "In Lu-Gi-Oh 6Ds, the main characters are 'Markers,' Duelists chosen by the almighty Crimson Dragon to fight evil in its name. They're called that because each of them has a birthmark of a different part of the Crimson Dragon's body and can summon the legendary dragons that are the Crimson Dragon's servants, and when they're all together they can call upon its power in times of need to save the world!" He frowned. "Hmm, I guess that would make Mewgle a Dark Marker, then…"

_Essentially, yes,_ Choc-Oboh said, amused that Leo had said pretty much the exact same thing Mondo had when she'd temporarily granted Mie her powers.

_Which would be Duelists chosen by an evil force to fight the heroic Markers, I take it?_ Dawn guessed. _With birthmarks of their own representing that malevolent power?_

"Yeah, that's it exactly!" Leo said excitedly.

…_Okay, now that's getting kind of spooky,_ Choc-Oboh said.

"This is so awesome! I wanna try out my new powers!" Leo said giddily. "Let's see…quick, somebody kill me so I can respawn!" Nuken's claw twitched as he strongly fought down the desire to grant his son-in-law's request.

"Ah, let's not," Pikachu said, laughing nervously, much to Dawn's disappointment. "You dying would sort of ruin the wedding, wouldn't it?"

"But I'd come back!" Leo said.

"It would still ruin the mood, dear," Lily said.

"Oh," Leo said in disappointment. "Yeah, I guess it would, wouldn't it?" He cheered up. "Well, maybe I could summon one of my monster cards into real life without using my Duel Disk-"

"That would also ruin the mood," Lily said quickly.

Brad nodded. "Yeah, I don't think summoning a monster is exactly appropriate for a wedding."

Leo scowled. "Oh, fine, party poopers."

"Leo, you can test your new powers out another time," Pikachu said. _Like never._ "Besides, don't you think we've all had enough excitement for one day?"

"Yeah, I wouldn't mind ending this and going to the reception to get something to eat," Ash commented.

"Ooh, like wedding cake?" Tiny asked hopefully.

Ash chuckled. "Sure, why not?"

"Cake! Cake! Cake! Cake!" the Gibles chanted in the front row.

"New Mama, when can I get married so I can have some cake?" Roy asked Judy.

Judy laughed. "Honey, weddings are about more than getting cake!"

The Gible gave her a dumbfounded look. "Huh? What else is there?" She sweatdropped.

"Not so fast, boys…this unscheduled little happenstance is extremely convenient, and I think it's the perfect time for me to give the newlyweds my wedding gift," Briney announced, much to everyone's surprise.

"He got them a gift?" Pikachu murmured.

"I did not see that coming," Ash said.

"Briney, you didn't need to get us anything," Lily said gently. "Your officiating our wedding was present enough for both of us!"

"Yeah…well…I felt like getting you something, okay? So you've gotta take it, and that's that!" Briney said gruffly, trying to hide a blush.

"Awww, you big softie," Leo said in amusement.

"I am _not_ soft! I'm one hundred percent hard core!" Briney bellowed.

"Yeah, we know," Leo said with a grin, causing Briney to grate his teeth in frustration.

_If you're trying to goad him into killing you to test my resurrective powers, it's working,_ Choc-Oboh said.

_That actually hadn't occurred to me. A good idea, though the others were right, it's probably not the best time for it,_ Leo thought. Out loud he said, "So what's the gift? A honeymoon cruise on your ship?"

"What?! The Peeko XII is no luxury ship!" Briney snarled in outrage.

"Really? That's funny, because I remember Fat Pete telling me it was available for couples…" Leo said.

"Not anymore it's not," Briney growled, making a note to keelhaul the skeleton. "But no, that's not my present. This is." He stretched out a hand, and one of the windows shattered as a crudely-wrapped gift box smashed through it and flew into his hand.

Atlametheus winced as some of the servants frantically started patching up the broken window. "You could have just sent someone to get it, you know."

"I prefer a hands-on approach. Here," Briney said, thrusting the box into Leo's hands.

The Squirtle raised an eyebrow at the very shoddy wrapping job and very convoluted and haphazard knot the ribbon was tied up in. "Wrapped it yourself, di d you?"

"Just open the damn thing already!" Briney snapped.

"Wait, there isn't anything lewd in here, is there?" Lily asked in concern as Leo eagerly started tearing the wrapping paper off like a kid opening their Christmas present.

"No, zat's my gift," Fantina said.

"Oh," Lily said. "Wait, what?"

Leo finished getting the wrapping off, flung the lid off the box, and gasped in disbelief when he saw what was inside. "No way… is this…?!" He pulled out what looked like a belt with a rather large buckle with a rectangular slot in the middle it looked like you could fit a standard card deck into.

"It's…a belt?" Lily said in confusion.

"Well, it's a nice belt," Brad said, also confused.

"Does that even fit Leo?" Pikachu wondered.

"Yes, I made sure to get the measurements right," Briney said.

"This isn't just any belt…it's a replica AdventDriver from Masked Rider Ryuki!" Leo said excitedly. He glanced back in the box, realizing it wasn't empty. "Oh, and a new set of tonfas. That's nice too."

Pikachu started. "Tonfas? I thought we agreed to keep those away from Leo for his own safety!"

"_I _never agreed to that," Briney said smugly. "And that belt's not a replica…it's fully functioning."

Leo stared at the Metang. "…Say what?"

"Well, I knew you'd been complaining a bit about how you didn't feel like you were quite as strong as the rest of us, what with Ash and Tiny getting intensive Aura training, Sasha receiving those death-preventing robes, Pikachu and Dawn and Lily all getting new elemental powers—and your wife getting even stronger than that, now—and me being, well, me," Briney said. "I mean, sure, you've got the smartest mind out of all of us, tons of crazy gadgets in that shell of yours, and too many functions in your shades for me to keep track of, but since you still feel inadequate despite all of that-"

"Okay Briney, I get it, I'm selling myself too short, I know," Leo muttered, rolling his eyes.

"Well, to be fair, if you didn't have any of those going for you you'd be crushed easily in a fight," Briney said. "Your combat skills are adequate, but they're not as good as they could be."

"I've been training," Leo said defensively.

"Not hard enough," Briney said. "The tonfas have been enchanted so that when you wield them, you actually know how to use them rather than just flailing them around willy-nilly or mimicking whatever you think you've learned from the Internet. They also come with a nifty electroshock feature, since apparently hitting someone with a stick isn't enough for some people these days."

"Sweet!" Leo said giddily, picking up one of the tonfas and admiring it with a grin on his face.

"Oh, lord…" Pikachu moaned.

"What was that about the belt, though?" Lily asked.

"Hmm? Oh, right," Briney said. "Since your boy there's been complaining like Tiny does when Ash won't give him candy-"

"Hey!" Tiny and Leo cried.

"I decided to do something about it," Briney said. "I sifted through the sea of useless trivia I absorbed from Leo's head from all the times I've read his mind—seriously, how do you _remember_ all this stuff?—and thought it might be funny if I turned him into one of those superheroes he's so in love with, so I went to the best blacksmith in the land and asked him to make me a doohickey that would allow Leo to transform into one."

"Hey, that's actually kinda neat," Brad said.

"…I love you," Leo whispered, tears in his eyes.

"You _what?!_" Pikachu screamed in horror. "Why would you _do_ something like that?!"

Briney shrugged. "Thought it'd be nice. And it amused me at the time." Pikachu facepalmed.

"Wait…ze best blacksmiz…you mean Smizzy?!" Nefertari cried.

"Yeah, that's the one. Nice guy. We have a lot in common," Briney said, while the rest of the Fantasma gawked at him incredulously.

"You bet we do," Smithy said to himself from among the guests, some of whom stared at him in astonishment as they suddenly realized who he was. "Let's see my craftsmonship in action, shall we?"

"This thing…will make me a real-life Masked Rider?!" Leo asked excitedly.

"If Smithy made it right, and I'm fairly certain he did," Briney said. "Since you like card games so much, I thought the transformation thing should be based off a series that also relied on cards, and I figured that Ryuki show would suit you."

"Masked Rider Ryuki is one of the darkest and grimmest series in the entire Masked Rider franchise," Leo said.

"Yes, but they use nice cards," Briney said.

"That they do," Leo admitted. "And I use nice cards, so I guess it makes perfect sense after all."

"…No it doesn't," said a perplexed Nuken.

"Just go with it. It's not worth arguing," Sasha said wearily.

_I do not understand. How could anyone make a working device that can turn people into superheroes based off of a TV show?_ Dawn asked.

"Magic," Briney said.

Dawn sighed. _Ah. Of course._

"Also, ze mon who made it, Smizzy, is one of ze best craftsPokémon in ze world," Shauntel said.

Agatha nodded. "He once made a chain to bind ze dread Fenrir out of ze sound of a Skitty's footfall, ze beard of a Chansey, ze roots of a mountain, ze sinews of an Ursaring, ze breazh of a Magikarp, and ze spittle of a Spearow."

Ash frowned. "I'm…not sure some of those things exist."

"Let alone can be used to make a chain," Pikachu said.

"Around 'ere, zey can and do," Fantina said.

Pikachu sighed. "Right. Fichina doesn't operate based on logic. Silly me for forgetting that."

"One of my finest pieces," Smithy bragged to any who would listen to him. "Took some doing, I'll tell you that much. Of course, I've done even better than that since then, seeing as how I was just a journeymon at the time…"

"How does it work?!" Leo asked as he eagerly strapped the belt on. Much to his surprise, the same emblem that was on his back appeared on the buckle. "Oooooh."

"Since it was designed off the belt things in that show of yours, to transform you need to form a pact with a magical creature, which I figured wouldn't be a problem since there's tons of those all over Fichina," Briney said. "However, you went and got the pact thing over with by partnering up with Choc-Oboh, so that's that part taken care of. Now all you have to do is put your card deck in and it should activate."

_Fascinating…I had not considered this application for my power…_ Choc-Oboh said.

_Will it work?_ Leo asked.

_It should,_ Choc-Oboh said. _Why not try it out and see?_

"Awesome!" Leo took out his deck…then paused and glanced at Lily. "Uh, this is okay, isn't it? I mean, I can wait until later to try this out if it's a problem…"

Lily shook her head. "No, I must admit I'm somewhat curious too. And…I'm also a bit curious as to how this is supposed to be a present for the both of us, if this is mainly for Leo…um, not to sound ungrateful or anything…"

"It's a present for Leo because it'll make him strong enough to keep up with us and get over his feelings of inadequacy which he's doing a terrible job of hiding, and it's a present for _you_ because him getting stronger means you're less likely to lose your husband on the battlefield," Briney said.

"Oh," Lily said, seeing the logic in that. "Well, in that case…thank you, Briney. You've done so much for us today, and we've done so little for you in return…"

Briney gave Lily a strong, serious look. "Lily…trust me when I say the two of you have done for me already than you'll ever know." Lily blushed at that.

Leo grinned at Lily and raised his deck. "Well, if I have your permission, milady…here we go! HENSHIN!" He slid his deck into his belt buckle. It clicked into place, and then the buckle began to glow. A golden energy sphere formed around him, causing everyone to back away as two rings started rotating around its circumference. As the rings passed over Leo's body, armor materialized over it, and by the time the rings finished a full rotation and vanished along with the sphere in an explosive burst of air, Leo was now completely clad in an armored suit. Most of his body was covered in tight black form-fitting spandex with boots going up to his knees with large round gold studs over the kneecaps and bronze greaves with black circles on the sides. His torso and shoulders were covered by a black metal cuirass with a large bronze crest taking up the front vaguely resembling a bird with a gold diamond for a head and golden talons growing from the bottom sides of the cuirass. His badge, pinned just above one side of the crest, had transformed, now looking like it was made of the same bronze and gold metal as the crest, with wings resembling Choc-Oboh's mark spreading to either side of it. His shoulders were covered by gold ailettes resembling flared-out feathers with bronze pauldrons with more large round gold studs underneath them. He had bronze vambraces with round gold couters. His scarf had turned red and elongated significantly, so its ends hung down over his back, partially covering the Choc-Oboh marking, now a blazing gold. His head was covered in a gold helmet with a number of V-shaped ridges with a vague feather motif covering the upper half of his face, and a crest somewhat looking like a feather rising from the peak. The lower half of his face was covered by a faceplate with several horizontal slits running across its surface. To absolutely nobody's surprise, he was still wearing his sunglasses, and they in fact seemed to have been incorporated into his helmet. His new tonfas seemed to have changed as well, and now had phoenix motifs in gold inlay down their lengths with little talons at one end.

Lily's eyes widened in amazement. "Oh my."

_Huh. That's interesting,_ B commented.

"Well, Smithy sure does good work, doesn't he?" Briney said in amusement.

"You bet I do!" Smithy said proudly.

"Oh, Arceus…" Pikachu moaned.

"Oh, Rayquaza…" Nuken groaned.

"Wow…not bad, son!" Brad said.

Tiny blinked. "You know, that'd probably look a lot more impressive if he weren't still the same exact size and build."

This was indeed true, for while Leo was now wearing a somewhat spiffy outfit, he was still about as short and…well, rouind as ever. He was too excited to notice, though. "Oh…oh, _wow_…this…this is so awesome! Yat…no, no, this is beyond yatta, this is…this is…BOOYAKASHA!"

Everyone stared at him. "_What_," Pikachu said.

"Booyakasha! I was getting worried Yatta was getting tired as a catchphrase, so I thought I'd try something else," Leo said.

"No," Pikachu said.

"Huh?" said Leo.

"_No,_" Pikachu said. "You are not using 'booyakasha' as a catchphrase. If you must use a catchphrase, which I still don't understand, stick to 'yatta.' But no 'booyakasha.' _Never_ booyakasha. EVER. Do I make myself clear?"

Leo recoiled…then stood up straight. "I don't have to take that from you anymore, you know! I have rad powers too!"

"Yes, and so do I," Pikachu said, reaching for his sword. "Do you _really_ want to see which of us is stronger right now?"

Leo considered this for a minute. "…My sunglasses are telling me that, even with my new powers and my knowledge of all your weak points, it would probably be a stupid idea for me to challenge you right now."

"And are you going to listen to them?" Pikachu asked.

"…Yeah. Yeah, I am. No more 'booyakasha.' Got it," Leo said.

"Good. I'm glad we could get that settled," Pikachu said, moving his hand from his sword.

"Uh, yeah, me too. So…Lily! How do I look?" Leo asked his wife.

"You look amazing!" Lily said. "Although…I'm not exactly sure how to kiss you while you're wearing that."

"What? Oh, uh…" His faceplate split apart, revealing his mouth. "How's that?"

"There," she said, leaning in to kiss him. "Much better."

"My son's become a superhero from a television show! I'm so happy!" Judy sobbed.

"I have no idea what's going on anymore," Lemmy complained.

"Does this count as 'jumping the Sharpedo?'" Larry asked.

"I could go for a Sharpedo right about now," Morton commented.

"When are we going to eat?" Ludwig whined.

"Briney, thanks so much," Leo said after he and Lily had broken away again. "You have no idea how happy this makes me!"

"Well, I would if I could read your mind here, but I can't, so I'm just going to guess you're very, ver happy," Briney said. "And you're welcome."

"C'mere, give me a hug!" Leo said, spreading his arms.

"No," Briney said.

"Aw, come on!" Leo said.

"I don't do hugs," Briney said.

"Please, Briney?" Lily begged.

"…Oh, fine. Here." Briney hugged Leo and Lily, doing his best to ignore the snickers and sighs of joy the others were making. "There. You happy?"

"Yes, very much so," Lily said.

_Leo, I believe this transformation may do more than just amplify your physical capabilities and allow you to get more use out of your sunglasses' powers,_ Choc-Oboh said.

_Let me guess, it'll allow me to use my cards outside of a Duel and summon items and stuff as weapons and monsters as allies?_ Leo asked.

_Precisely! While my power would have allowed you to do that anyway, when you're transformed it'll be much easier and less taxing on your body, _Choc-Oboh said. _And they'll be effective against enemies other than creatures summoned by Mewgle, as well. _

_Sweet! This day just keeps getting better and better!_ Leo said.

_However, while wearing that suit, you will only be able to utilize the full power of ONE card at a time outside of a Duel,_ Choc-Oboh warned him.

_What? Only one? Awww mon…oh well, not that big a deal. Kamen Riders in Ryuki made do with just one card at a time, after all, and even in a Duel, it can only take a single card to turn things around…yeah, I can work around this no problem! Piece of cake!_ Leo said.

_That's the spirit. I'm glad you're taking this so well,_ Choc-Oboh said in relief.

_Hey, you gotta take whatever hand's dealt to you, you know? Even if that hand's just one card at a time,_ Leo said.

_Heh, too true,_ Choc-Oboh said in amusement.

"Briney, remind me to write a thank-you-note to that smith guy later to thank him for such a wicked awesome present! I'd love to test this thing out and maybe Rider Kick someone, but now is probably not the best time for that, huh?" Leo asked out loud.

"No, it most certainly isn't," Pikachu said.

"I'll give him your regards…" Briney said. "Then again, you may be thanking him sooner than you might think."

"Why, is he here?" Lily asked.

Briney nodded and pointed at Smithy among the guests. "Yeah, he's right over there."

"Hi," the older Metang said with a wave.

"Thank you very much!" Lily shouted to him.

"Yeah, really! We owe you big time for allowing me to become…Masked Rider Phoenix!" Leo declared.

"Masked Rider Phoenix?" Ash asked.

"I have a phoenix spirit partner and phoenix-like resurrective powers, so it's as good a name as any, isn't it?" Leo asked, to which Ash had no real argument.

"A dragon marrying a phoenix…" Fantina murmured. "It seems symbolic somehow, zough I'm not sure 'ow."

"I believe it represents a fruitful marriage blessed wiz prosperity and success," Shauntel said.

Fantina smiled. "Well, zat's certainly good news, isn't it?"

"There's probably something symbolic in my daughter marrying a masked superhero, too, but I'm not sure what that is either," Nuken deadpanned.

"Well, I'm glad we're all grateful for Leo's new toy which I'm totally not jealous of in the slightest," Tiny said. "But you know what _I_ would be grateful for right about now? Some food! I'm hungry!"

"Tiny!" Ash hissed.

"Actually, we probably should start the reception…this ceremony has dragged on long enough, and I'm sure some of our guests would like something to eat," Lily said, glancing at the guests, who did indeed look very hungry.

"I wish I could eat…" Brad muttered.

"Sounds good to me! In that case…iiiiiiiiiiiit's receptiooooooooon tiiiiiiiiiime!" Leo screamed, crouching down then springing up with his fists pointed into the air.

Everyone stared at him. "What?" Sasha asked.

"Uh, sorry, it seemed fitting. Never mind," Leo said. "Um...anyway, let's eat!"

"FINALLY!" the Gibles cheered.

As everyone started filing out of the courtyard to attend the reception (and eat), Raiki asked Kageie, "So, what did you think of your first wedding?"

"I've already had a wedding," the Tyranitar pointed out.

"Was it like this?" Delia asked.

"No," Kageie said.

"Then it doesn't count," Delia said.

Kageie frowned, somewhat offended at this. "It was…interesting," she said finally. "Are all 'civilized' Pokémon weddings like this?"

"If all weddings are like the last two I've been to, then yes," Matthias said dryly.

"I can't wait to see what Mommy and Daddy's wedding will be like at this rate!" Junior said eagerly.

"Or my Big Brother and Dawn's!" Pichu agreed.

Matthias groaned. "I shudder to even imagine it…"

"So, Delia, what did _you_ think of this wedding?" Raiki asked his wife pointedly.

She sighed. "All right, I'll admit, it wasn't half bad."

"And?" Raiki pressed.

"…And I probably couldn't have done a better job of designing it if they'd asked me to do it instead," the female Raichu said grudgingly.

"Good! I'm glad you learned a valuable lesson!" Raiki said cheerfully.

They walked in silence for a few minutes as they slowly shuffled their way towards the entrance back into the manor. Finally, Delia said, "Although personally, I would have picked a different shade of-"

"DELIA!" Raiki bellowed.

And all was right in the world…for now.

…

Meanwhile, in the lair of Oblivion's Shadow…

Oblivion's Shadow stared intently at the purple crystalline mass suspended in the center of the room, pulsating with the energy it was absorbing from the blue rocks placed around it. "Just a few more minutes…" he murmured to himself.

"You do realize that this plan still has a very high chance of failing, don't you?" Mesprit asked.

"It has more of a chance than my previous plan, according to you," the Shadow said.

"Still not as high a chance if you had just done what I originally told you to do," Mesprit said crossly. "As in, give up and cease this foolishness."

"If you're really connected to Uxie, then you know I will never do that," the Shadow said.

Mesprit sighed. "It would be so much easier for everyone if you did…"

"Oh, give up on it Mesprit, you and I both know he'll _never_ change his ways. He's too stubborn. Why should he do the _sensible_ thing and turn himself in when he can keep doing what he's doing and fail spectacularly and potentially end all of creation because he'd rather do things his own way than listen to anyone else," Cresselia sneered.

"If I am to fail, it will be on my own terms, and nobody else's," the Shadow said.

Cresselia snorted. "Listen to yourself. Do you have any idea how full of yourself you sound? It's a wonder your mother took so long to abandon you, considering what an obstinate, colossal jackass you-"

She was cut off when, without even looking at her, Oblivion's Shadow triggered her neural inhibitor, causing her to writhe on the floor, screaming in agony. "You know, that's only going to make Darkrai come down all the harder on you once he's free of his contract," Mesprit said.

"I will deal with him when the time comes," the Shadow said.

"No," Mesprit said. "You won't." Oblivion's Shadow ignored her. Nothing new there. The Being of Emotion's eyes narrowed. "Your mother hasn't spoken to you in the last week, has she?" There was no response, other than a tightening of a fist. "Now, why do you suppose that is-"

Oblivion's Shadow triggered her neural inhibitor. Nothing happened. Mesprit sighed. "I can scream if you want, but I'm not in the mood right now. If I must, though…aaaaaaahhhhh." The Shadow glared at her. She shrugged. "I told you I wasn't in the mood. Sorry, but I don't really feel like indulging your fantasy that you're actually in control right now."

Shaking with anger, the Shadow took a step towards her…and suddenly, the crystal started emitting a blinding light. "You might want to check on that," Mesprit commented as the Shadow whirled about, cape flaring out behind him.

The light from the crystal grew and grew until it filled the whole room with its radiance…

And when it faded, the crystal was no more, and in its place was an adorable figure; a diminutive white-skinned Pokémon with a disproportionately large head clad in a three-pointed yellow hat larger than its body with three turquoise tags attached to each point. Turquoise triangles resembling tears were under each of its eyes. The Pokémon yawned, and the yellow cocoon wrapped around its lower body unraveled to reveal it was actually a pair of long streamers, and its body had short stubby limbs with flaps like sleeves under its arms and a curved seam on its belly. The Pokémon opened its eyes, blinked them a few times blearily, and rubbed the sleep out of them with its arm. "Uhhh…need coffee…it can't have been a thousand years already, can it?"

"No, it hasn't," Mesprit said.

"Huh?" The Pokémon looked around for a moment in confusion. Its face lit up when it saw Mesprit. "Oh, hi Mesprit! What are you doing in that…cell…and why is Cresselia screaming in agony…and why is Ho-Oh being killed over and over…oh." The Pokémon's face fell. "I've been woken up by another villain, haven't I?"

"I'm afraid so, Jirachi," Mesprit said apologetically.

Jirachi sighed. "It never fails…I hide myself in the furthest, most obscure corner of the world I can get to whenever it's time to go back to sleep and some madmon or madman with a wish finds me and tries to use me for nefarious ends." Jirachi folded her arms and glared at Oblivion's Shadow. "All right, let's get this over with. Since you're the person who woke me up, you get three wishes. However, there are some limits: you can't wish for anyone to die, you can't wish for anyone to come back from the dead, and you can't wish for love. Just about anything else is fair game, unless you make a wish so big my power isn't great enough to grant it. So, what'll it be? The standard immortality/world domination package?"

"I am already immortal, and have no desire for world conquest," the Shadow said.

Jirachi raised an eyebrow, somewhat disturbed by how her face was being reflected back at her and the Shadow was speaking with her voice. Creepy. "Really? Well then, I guess you'll be wishing to destroy the world then, which, as I pointed out, I can't do, because that would kill lots of people and all."

"I don't want that wish either. I am already close to doing that on my own," the Shadow said.

Jirachi frowned. "Then…what _do_ you want?"

Beneath his mask, the Shadow smiled. The reflection on his mask smiled too, which unnerved Jirachi all the further. Mesprit sighed and shook her head. "This is not going to end well."

Cresselia continued screaming. So did Ho-Oh. And if the Shadow had his way, many more would be before this was all over…

…

Meanwhile, in Doctor Tarantulas' laboratory…

Tarantulas, still nothing more than a disembodied head, albeit one equipped with mechanical legs and thrusters so he could get around, stared at the screen on his monitor for a long time, his reflection looking back at him with a forlorn expression on his face. Finally, he sighed, knowing there was no point in prolonging the inevitable any further than he already had. With a wireless signal, he activated the device and called Bellum.

After a moment, the screen flickered on to show the interior of Bellum's iceberg lair. The Froslass in question, looking somewhat worse for wear and missing most of an arm for some reason, gave Tarantulas a weary and frustrated look. "What is it, Tarantulas? I'm in the middle of a rather pressing personal matter at the moment and have an evil god screaming in my head so I don't have time for any of your taunts or frivialities. Oh, and thanks for continuing to send Chobin down here despite my express request for you to keep him away from my daughter, by the way."

"You're welcome," Tarantulas said. "I'm sorry if I interrupted somezing—okay, zat's a lie, I'm actually ecstatic if I did—but zere's somezing very important I need to tell you."

Bellum sighed. "Fine, but make it quick, Giratina's having a bit of a breakdown at the moment and let me tell you, trying to comfort an evil deity whose every spoken syllable makes you feel like you're dying a horrible agonizing death isn't very pleasant."

"In zat case, I'll make zis drag on for as long as I can," Tarantulas said, causing Bellum's eye to twitch. "Anyvay, here's vat I need to say. Zere's somezing you need to know…about us."

Bellum raised an eyebrow. "Go on."

Tarantulas took a deep breath, and said, "Bellum, I-I hate you."

Bellum's twitch worsened and she started grinding her teeth. "…That's it? That's what you called me to say?! You wanted to tell me something I already knew?!"

"No Bellum, you don't get it. I don't just hate you. I _hate_ you. I really, really _really_ hate you," Tarantulas said.

Bellum was not impressed. "Oh?"

"Bellum, I hate you viz all my heart," Tarantulas said, determined to make the ice witch understand what he was saying. "I hate you more zan I've ever hated anybody. I hate you so much zat I can barely take it. In fact, I vant to go on hating you for ze rest of my life. My primary regret about vat's going to happen to me soon—besides ze obvious—is zat I von't be able to hate you anymore."

Bellum blinked, her expression softening. "Oh, Tomaru…I had no idea you felt that way about me. If…if it makes you feel any better, I hate you too. I think I've hated you from the moment I first met you. "

"I'm…I'm happy to hear zat," Tarantulas said.

"Perhaps later we could…" Bellum paused. "Wait. Something's going to happen to you soon? What are you talking about?"

"…You are not ze only one who failed Oblivion's Shadow and were punished for it," Tarantulas said.

"Yes, and he denied you from using a body again," Bellum said.

Tarantulas shook his head—or whole body, rather—sadly. "No. My punishment has not yet begun."

Bellum frowned. "What are you-"

"Goodbye, Bellum. If ve meet again, it vill be in ze Abyss. If not…zen I'm glad I vas finally able to tell you how I feel," Tarantulas said sadly.

"Tomaru, wait-" Bellum started, only to be cut off when Tarantulas hung up.

Tomaru stared at the blank screen for a few minutes. Finally, he sighed and turned to face Viers, who was picking his nose behind him. "It's done," he said.

"Is there anything else, Lord Doctor Tarantulas?" Viers asked, removing his finger and staring at the snot at the end. He licked it.

"No, no, I zink zat's everyzing. Ve've made all ze preparations ve need, now ve just need to vait for Chobin to get back—or die again—grab ze beasts, and zen ve can go," Tarantulas said.

"Okay," Viers said. He paused. "Lord Doctor Tarantulas…it has been an honor serving you."

"Ze feeling is not mutual," Tarantulas said flatly. "However, I do appreciate it, so zanks, I guess."

"You are most welcome," Viers said.

Tarantulas looked around his lab wistfully and sighed. "I'm going to miss zis place…" he murmured. "I'm going to miss a lot of zings…well, zem's ze breaks, I guess." He hopped off the computer and started off across the floor. "Come on, Viers. Let's get ready to go…for my final mission…"

…

Meanwhile, in Pokémon Square…

Goku, Ete, and the grumbling Ignik Firebottom entered the mayoral residence (the pond at the center of town) and walked to the end of the stone pier extending out towards the center of the pool. The valiant Monferno knelt at the edge of the pier. "Mayor Mayur, I have come at your request. You wanted to see me?"

The water rippled and the mighty Whiscash arose from the depths, perching his chin on the edge of the pier just in front of Goku. "Ah, Goku! Glad you could make it! And you brought the wife, I see…and your brother."

"Ete insisted on coming with me because she rarely leaves my side…and my brother just wanted to complain, I think," Goku said.

"I have every reason to complain!" Ignik complained. "I got a commendation and medal and everything for capturing that evil sorcerer they've got locked up in that spook Yamiri's temple, and you're still giving me all the shitty jobs!"

The Mayor shrugged. "Someone has to do them. And you're still serving community service, last time I checked. But if you _really_ want a new job, I suppose I can send you along with Goku on this mission I have planned for him."

"Yes! Finally!" Ignik cheered…only to hesitate, realizing what had just been said. "Wait…mission? Why do I get the sudden horrible feeling I should have kept my mouth shut and whatever you have planned is infinitely worse than my needing to sweep up hair at the barber shop or muck out the toilets or mow people's lawns or serve as a training dummy and moving target for the military?"

"Because it is," the Mayor said smugly, causing Ignik to groan. "Goku, while your defection to our side, the recent wedding, and your return of the Rescue Teams from Vientown and Seasonburg have done wonders for your reputation here, a number of townsPokémon—along with several of our new allies—are not entirely at ease with harboring so many ex-barbarians within our walls, including one as high-ranking in Gal's army as yourself."

Goku frowned at this but was not surprised. After the big reveal of the Nihilators, all the world's governments had been tripping all over themselves to make up for scoffing at the Draconian Empire's claims about the Nihilators' existence for so long. Several nations had dispatched divisons of their military to help Pokémon Square defend against the impending barbarian invasion (Which, according to Sabrina's latest predictions and corroborated by a number of other seers, should be any day now) to save face, although they still did not have nearly as large a presence as the Empire, who had gotten there first, built up the strongest rapport with the locals for believing in them and coming to their aid when nobody else would, and still had their capital city parked right over the town, much to those other countries' shame. While they were seen by the townspeople as welcome allies, there was quite a lot of simmering resentment against them for taking so long to believe that they were worth protecting. In a desperate attempt to build up support from the locals (and the media, and the people of their own countries) the foreign military divisions had made a big show of cooperating with the Imperials and Rescue Teams and had helped them scour Kanjohenn to clear out the barbarian menace once and for all and make the continent a safer place in the future. They'd already managed to defeat a number of barbarian tribes and clans that had been a thorn in the side of the peace-hungry Pokémon of Kanjohenn for many years, clearing the way to reclaim many of the settlements and towns those barbarians had destroyed. Already a number of them had been rebuilt and several of the refugees from Mt. Blaze were being settled there, both to give them a new home and to ease up the space and resource issues the town had been having from needing to house so many Pokémon. The twin cities of Seasonburg and Vientown were being rebuilt as well, and the Rescue Teams from those towns had left Pokémon Square to help in the reconstruction efforts, although they promised they'd come running when the big day came. The Hive Queen's armies were unaccounted for, however, and the Amber Palace had been completely deserted when they'd finally managed to break through the barrier surrounding it with help from Latias, with all signs indicating the Bugs had gone underground, so deep even the best burrowers couldn't find them. A large number of survivors from the Burning Horde were missing as well, and not even Latias's extremely powerful telepathy could pick up where they, or the Bugs, had gone to, leading many to believe that when they eventually resurfaced, they would be their primary enemy.

That wasn't to say _all_ of the Horde's survivors had gone missing, however. Several groups of barbarians who'd managed to escape the battle at Mt. Blaze had formed pockets of resistance around the continent and were hindering the military's efforts to restore order to Kanjohenn through messy and exhausting guerilla warfare. Due to his past with the Horde, Goku and his followers had been called upon a number of times to help defeat these remnants wherever they cropped up, but it was clear that those he was helping still viewed him with distrust, which was not unwarranted…after all, he'd been on the same side as their enemies once, and even if he had defected, that just meant he did not hold a strong sense of loyalty to any one side…so who's to say he might not betray his current allies as well?

"Hasn't he done enough for them?!" Ete asked angrily while Goku mulled this over. "What more does he need to do to earn their trust?!"

"See, this is why we should have just destroyed them all rather than joining sides with them," Ignik said.

"Ignik, if Goku hadn't switched sides you would both be dead," Ete pointed out.

"…Touche," Ignik admitted reluctantly.

"I have an assignment for you that may help turn opinions around," the Mayor said, much to their surprise. "We've recently received a message from one General Pokong. Does the name sound familiar to you?"

Goku started at this. "Pokong?!"

"He was one of Gal's most feared and loyal supporters!" Ignik cried.

"He's also the leader of one of the most dangerous bunch of remnants from the Horde that's causing the most damage to our efforts to reclaim the continent and prepare for the invasion," the Mayor said.

Goku sighed. "And you want me and my mons to defeat his forces?"

"Not quite," the Mayor said. "The message he sent was to discuss terms of surrender."

There was a stunned silence at this. "Wait, what?!" Ete asked finally.

"Impossible! Pokong was one of the most fervent believers in Gal's ideals! He'd never surrender, especially not to the likes of you!" Ignik said incredulously.

"Well, apparently he's had a change of heart," Mayor said. "According to the emissary he dispatched, he's beginning to see the futility in his current actions. While many of the other Horde holdouts have somehow convinced themselves that Gal will one day return to lead them to glory and burn the world to ashes, Pokong doesn't really think that'll ever happen, and while he's loath to give in to civilization, which he's opposed all his life, he's not sure he wants to stick to his beliefs strongly enough to die for them. Also, as a follower of Gal he bought into the whole 'might is right' philosophy, and since we beat Gal, maybe that means we were the ones who right all along."

"I see…" Goku murmured in amazement. "He truly wishes to surrender?"

"Well…sort of," the Mayor said. "Actually, he's more interested in defecting, if at all possible. He heard you did, and that you seem to be doing pretty well, so figures that maybe he can get himself and his mons off easier than they would if they kept fighting to the very end."

"Didn't work out so well for me," Ignik complained.

"Will the joint forces accept his defection?" Goku asked, excited by this news. Perhaps he was not the only barbarian leader of the Horde who had seen reason, after all…

"While many of them aren't happy letting another bunch of ex-barbarians and war criminals into their ranks, we've agreed that it's a politically and strategically sound move," the Mayor said. "Pokong was, as you said, one of Gal's most loyal followers and leads one of the most dangerous resistance groups on the continent. If even _he's_ willing to parley with us, that might send a message to the other remaining members of the Horde that they have no hope of winning against us and convince them to surrender as well, bringing this war of attrition to a close and allowing us to focus our resources on resettling the continent and defending Pokémon Square. As such, they've decided to grant his request and pardon his crimes if he can convince the rest of his mons to stand down and join us."

"That's wonderful!" Goku said.

"Oh come on! They'll pardon Pokong his crimes, but not mine?! Pokong's done way worse stuff than I ever did!" Ignik screamed in disbelief. "Do you know how many villages he's burned down? How many people he's killed? How many womon he's-"

"Look, I'm the first to admit that such crimes should not be so easily forgiven, but this is a matter of politics and war," the Mayor interrupted. "It's not very pleasant or savory, but it'll save lives and make things easier for us in the long run."

"Yeah, but not for me…" Ignik growled.

"While this is interesting news, where do I fit into it?" Goku asked.

The Mayor hesitated. "Ah. Well…you see, while Pokong is willing to talk peace, there's a catch."

Ete sighed. "Of course there is."

"Pokong is willing to defect, but he doesn't entirely trust us. He's been fighting and killing people like us all his life, so he's not one hundred percent certain we won't doublecross him," the Mayor said.

"Will you?" Ignik asked.

"What? No, of course not!" the Mayor said. _Well, not unless he becomes a problem, anyway._ "In any event, he says he'll only discuss his terms of surrender with one mon: you, Goku."

"Me?" Goku asked in surprise.

"Him?" Ignik asked in surprise.

"Who else?" Ete asked, not surprised.

"Pokong knows you're a trustworthy and honorable mon…your betrayal of Gal notwithstanding," the Mayor said uncomfortably. "If you tell him we'll keep our side of the bargain, he'll believe it. Besides, since you were the first of the Horde to defect, he wants to hear from you what it's like on our side, how he can expect he and his mons to be treated, what will be expected of him, that sort of thing. Also, he wants to understand what, exactly, convinced you to turn against Gal and your own kind."

"…I see. I will do my best to make him understand my reasons, and convince him that while I did break my word in turning against Gal…it was, in the end, the honorable thing to do," Goku said.

"Yeah, because breaking your word is sooooooo honorable," Ignik said sarcastically. Ete smacked him.

"There is one other thing his emissary told us," the Mayor said. "Pokong claims he has found the Staff of Sun Wukong."

Goku shot up in astonishment. "What?!"

"It cannot be!" Ete gasped.

"Our legendary ancestor's iconic weapon?!" Ignik asked in disbelief.

"It is said that whoever wields that staff is the rightful ruler of the monkey Pokémon of Kanjohenn…" Goku whispered in awe. "But…if Pokong has it…"

"Then its all the more imperative that you convince him to defect," the Mayor said. "He's said that he knows it doesn't belong to him, and will give it to you once you've managed to settle things…but, if for any reason he decides we can't be trusted, he could use the staff's legend to rally the monkeys in the other rebel groups across Kanjohenn to his banner and start a new crusade against the civilized world. He'll lose—our united army is too strong—but there will be _massive_ casualties, and it will only inspire future groups of barbarians to rise up against us, ruining our chances at peace after the war is over."

Goku nodded gravely. "I understand. I will _not_ fail in this mission. I will make him see the light, as did I."

"And with that staff…you can finally fulfill your ancestor's dream, and unite the monkey tribes of Kanjohenn," Ete said. "We could form our own nation!"

"Or an army," Ignik suggested. They glared at him. "Just a thought."

The Mayor nodded. "He has a point. When word spreads that you have the staff, along with Pokong's loyalty, it may convince countless Pokémon, both barbarian and wild, to join us in the coming battle. We could _use_ allies like that, Goku."

Goku frowned. "I am hesitant to use such power, such responsibility, for war…but I know that the wasy of Pokémon Square are the only way to fulfill Sun Wukong's ambition, and that ambition will never be realized if we cannot secure a future for all of Kanjohenn, no, the world. You can count on me, Mayor."

"And me!" Ete said. "I have believed in the dream of Wukong all my life. I shall be there to witness it finally come true!"

"And I'll come since it's _still_ better than what I'm doing now," Ignik said. "Seeing some of my old 'friends' is waaaaayyyy better than dealing with those bratty kids."

"Speaking of which," the Mayor said, hiding a grin. "You won't be going alone. It would be suicide to just send the three of you, after all, no matter how friendly Pokong's missive sounded! Since most of our senior Rescue Teams are too busy helping resettle, hunting down barbarians, or off on a honeymoon, Master Yamiri and Wes's team will be accompanying you, along with a media team, a small contingent of Draconian soldiers, and some bigwigs from Fichina due to arrive sometime in the near future. A lot of the other countries wanted to send delegates too so the Empire and Fichina wouldn't get an 'unfair advantage,' but we managed to convince them that sending a small party would probably be best."

Goku nodded. "That would probably be a good idea; it would have less of a chance of making him fear we're going to attack him. I'd like to bring a few of my mons along as well, though. They probably have acquaintances among Pokon's ranks, and can help convince them of the benefits of joining our side while I'm working on Pokong, to quell any dissent that might flare up. I can't imagine _all_ of his soldiers are willing to follow their leader into surrender, after all."

The Mayor nodded. "A splendid idea, Goku. Oh, and one other thing: Team Go-Getter and Team Poképals will also be joining you."

Ignik's eyes bulged in horror. "Whaaaaaaaaaaat?! I thought I was going to get away from those brats for a little while!"

"Team Poképals were the ones who first encountered Pokong's emissary," the Mayor explained. "Hubie, the team leader, possesses a form of precognition called 'Dimensional Scream,' which he claims he has because he's a human from the distant future, which we all know to be completely ridiculous. He had a vision upon running into the emissary of his team and Team Go-Getters accompanying you on your mission, which pretty much means we have to let them go or it could cause some horrible disturbance in the space-time continuum or something like that."

"…Seriously? You're going to believe an excuse that preposterous?!" Ignik asked in disbelief.

"It's not an excuse," the Mayor said. "Hubie's Dimensional Scream is a reliable and tried-and-tested power. Sabrina has stated it's a true ability, which is good enough for the rest of us."

"Hmm," Ignik said, still not buying it.

"Hubie's Scream is also the reason we knew exactly which Pokémon to put on this mission, aside from yourselves, of course," the Mayor said. "It may prove to be a valuable asset on your journey, so you'd do well to heed it."

Goku nodded. "I will be sure to do just that."

"Great…now I've gotta take orders from those brats too…" Ignik whined.

"When do we depart?" Ete asked.

"We need to wait for the diplomats from Fichina arrive," the Mayor said. "After that, you should be good to go. I suggest that you start making preparations while we wait for them to get here. Normally I'd tell you to carefully select which of your mons to take with you, but Hubie already told us which ones you're going to bring."

Goku frowned, but nodded. "All right."

"Out of curiosity, what exactly would happen if Goku chose a completely different bunch of soldiers than the ones recommended by a Piplup that may or may not be able to see the future?" Ignik asked.

"A series of remarkable and eerily convenient coincidences would result in the ones he says will be there joining you anyway," the Mayor said.

"Ah," Ignik said unhappily.

"Why are you so skeptical? I thought you were as superstitious as the rest of us," Ete said.

"I am, I just hate the idea of having to heed the words of one of those stupid kids," Ignik grumbled.

"They're not that bad," Goku said.

"You're not the one getting pummeled by them day in and day out…" Ignik growled. A sinister grin formed on his face. "Still, maybe this will give me a chance to return the favor…"

"No," Goku said.

"Oh, come on!" Ignik yelled.

"Good luck to the three of you," the Mayor said. "You're going to need it."

"Don't worry, Your Eminence. We will not let Pokémon Square down," Goku said.

"See that you don't," the Mayor said solemnly as they departed. "See that you don't."

…

Meanwhile, in Almiore…

"Well, gang, we're finally here!" Gary said triumphantly. "After almost a week of traveling, we've made it our final destination, the lair of the Berry King and Princess Sara's prison: Altru Tower!"

"Why did you say all that just now?" Callista asked. "We all know that already. Why did you feel the need to say it?"

"…Because shut up," Gary grumbled.

"Ssso thisss isss the Berry Kingdom?" Evan asked skeptically. "Kinda looksss like a dump."

Mary nodded in agreement. "I was expecting a land of milk and honey, not…this."

Team Nightshade was standing at the edge of a vast and inhospitable wasteland stretching as far as the eye could see. Ominous clouds swirled overhead, and lightning bolts occasionally struck down, leaving char marks on the already blasted and pitted landscape. Steam wafted up from fumaroles and vents in the earth, fissures zigzagging the ground seemed to indicate the terrain was extremely unstable and could crumble at any moment, and a foul, noxious odor filled the air. Far, far off in the distance, right on the horizon, they could see a tall, dark tower stretching up to the heavens. Pretty much every trope or cliché that could be expected from an evil tower of ominousness seemed to be in play, although there wasn't that much they could make out of it from this distance. An aura of dread hung in the air, pushing at them and whispering in their ears that they should turn back now, before it was too late.

"Maybe we have the wrong place?" Maren said uncertainly.

Gary checked the Compass. "The needle's pointing right to the tower. That's where we have to go."

"This can't be the Berry Kingdom, though…it's supposed to be a paradise, not…this…" Jerry said.

"Well, we know the Berry King abducted Princess Sara, and he's the ruler of the Berry Kingdom," Mary said, counting off on her fingers. "Princess Sara has the last Compass Piece in her crown, which according to Maren and Janine can't be removed easily, and even if he got it off he probably wouldn't just leave it out in the middle of nowhere, although I admit a place like this _would_ be a good place to hide it, since I can't imagine many people would want to come looking here."

"Maybe that's it?" Maren suggested. "Maybe this isn't the Berry Kingdom at all, but the King put Sara—or the Compass Piece, which would not be a good thing, because it means they're already _married_—here for safekeeping?"

"It doesn't matter if this is the Berry Kingdom or not," Janine said. "If the Compass points to Altru Tower, that is where we must go."

Gary nodded. "Yeah, the prophecy said as much. At least, I'm pretty sure it did."

"It did," Callista said.

"Good!" Gary said. "And, uh, did it say what's actually there?"

The Riolu shook her head. "I'm afraid not, no."

"Oh well, there goesss the mossst ussseful and ssspecific prophecccy in hissstory," Evan muttered.

"Well…it doesn't matter if we don't know that lies ahead, what matters is that the final Compass Piece—and possibly Princess Sara, although we can't be completely certain—is there, which means that's where we have to be too," Gary said, finding some resolve. "So, let's cross that extremely inhospitable and dangerous-looking wasteland that apparently nobody's ever managed to cross before in one piece without losing their sanity, enter that spooky and seriously evil-looking tower, and rescue a Princess who's hopefully but might not actually be there!"

"Yeah!" Evan cheered enthusiastically.

"And I volunteer Callista to go first!" Gary said.

The Riolu blinked in surprise. "Wait, what?"

Mary nodded in agreement. "That's a brilliant idea."

"Yeah, by sssending in the newessst and mossst expendable party member, we can judge whether it'sss sssafe to go in or not!" Evan said eagerly.

"Isn't she the Princess of Lemewria, making her the _least_ expendable member of our party?" Jerry asked.

"Good point! You go inssstead!" Evan said, pushing Jerry towards the wasteland.

The Cherubi sighed. "Me and my big mouth."

"Gary, didn't you promise you'd try to be more heroic and less of a jerk from now on?" Maren asked sternly.

Gary fidgeted. "Well…yeah…but that place looks really scary!"

"Gary!" Maren said angrily.

"No, seriously! Just look at that place! Doesn't something feel really, really _wrong_ about it? Like stepping foot in there would be the absolute worst idea you could ever have?" Gary asked. "Some kind of primal terror, chilling your spine and filling your heart with dread?"

Maren hesitated. "I…yeah…I do feel scared…" She frowned. "More scared than I usually would be. I mean, yeah, it looks pretty bad, but…scary? I dunno…"

"It's a terror field," Janine announced suddenly.

Everyone looked at her in confusion. "Huh? What are you talking about?" Mary asked.

"And does it mean I don't have to be the first to step in there?" Jerry asked hopefully.

"I learned about this sort of thing in training," the Ninjask said. "Some powerful Psychics or mystics or Ghost-types can generate an aura of terror that causes Pokémon who walk into its area of effect to be filled with an uncontrollable sense of fear and instinctively shy away from the area. Whether anything that can actually back up that fear exists depends on who's generating it. For the most part the field is created by someone who wants very much to be left alone."

They considered this. "So the reason I'm feeling really, really uneasy about going in there isn't due to cowardice but because somebody's messing with my head?" Gary asked, face darkening.

"Well, I wouldn't go _that_ far," Janine said dryly.

Callista closed her eyes and concentrated. "Yes…I can see it now. There is a strange energy filling the air. A _lot_ of it, actually…" She frowned in puzzlement. "That's strange. I'm having trouble even perceiving the wasteland with my Aura-sight. Either the terror field is so strong it's blotting out my vision, or…"

"Or what?" Maren asked.

"…I am not certain," the Riolu said, perplexed.

"If someone wants us to stay away, then…maybe this _is_ where we're supposed to be?" Jerry murmured.

"Makesss sssenssse to me," Evan said.

Jerry sweatdropped. "That's not the best vote of confidence…"

"What'sss that sssupposssed to mean?" Evan asked in confusion.

Gary's expression hardened. "I'm sick of people screwing with my head. Paradox has apparently been doing it for most of my life, and now some chump in a spooky tower is trying to scare me off? Fuck him. I'm a _Ghost_-type. We LIVE to scare people."

"Actually, you don't live, sssinccce you're undead-" Evan started.

"Shut up, Evan!" Gary shouted.

With that, he stormed towards the wasteland. He set one foot over the edge of the boundary separating the dead lands from the normal space outside…

And, much to everyone's shock, vanished completely. "Where did he go?!" Mary cried.

"M-maybe he just became invisible?" Jerry suggested nervously.

"The Berry King usssed hisss dark magic to vaporizzze him! He'sss dead! He'sss dead! He'sss dead!" Evan screamed.

"He was already dead, he's a Gengar," Maren pointed out.

"He'sss deader than dead! He'sss deader than dead! He'sss deader than dead!" Evan wailed.

"Callista, do you sense him?!" Mary asked.

Callista closed her eyes and shook her head. "No. Again, I can't see anything past the terror field. I have no idea what-"

Suddenly, Gary reappeared right in front of him, a stunned look on his face. "Gary!" Mary cried in relief, wrapping her arms around him. His expression didn't change one bit. He didn't even seem to notice her.

"G-Gary? What happened?" Jerry asked in concern as the rest of the team crowded around the Gengar.

Gary slowly shook his head in bewilderment. "Guys…you will _not_ believe what I just saw."

"What did you just see?" Janine asked.

"Follow me, and I'll show you." Gary turned and walked back towards the wasteland. Again, he disappeared the instant he crossed the boundary.

The others exchanged uncertain looks. A moment later, Gary reappeared again, this time with an annoyed expression on his face. "Are you guys coming or not?"

"O-oh! Right!" Jerry said, starting.

"Yeah, we're coming," Mary said.

"But…what exactly-" Janine started.

"Look, there's no time, you _have_ to see this!" Gary insisted.

"Gary, don't you think you could stop a minute to tell us what, exactly, we're going to see first?" Maren asked.

"And why exxxactly isss there no time? It ssshould just take a sssecond," Evan said.

Gary facepalmed. "Oh for the love of…FINE! I saw the Berry Kingdom, okay? Are you happy?!"

Everyone exchanged astonished looks. "The Berry Kingdom?!" Mary cried.

"_This_ I must see," Callista said, walking towards the wasteland.

"FINALLY! Somebody gets it! Come on already!" Gary said, beckoning to the others as he walked back to the wasteland with Callista. Both of them vanished this time.

The others exchanged uneasy looks one last time, then sighed and went after their leader and newest recruit. They crossed the boundary…

And found themselves somewhere else completely, somewhere that had absolutely no resemblance whatsoever to the blasted plains they had thought they were about to enter. Their jaws dropped in disbelief. "See?" Gary said eagerly. "I told ya!"

The group found themselves standing at the edge of a vast field filled with acres and acres of two-foot tall berry trees stretching as far as the eye could see in every direction, split by rivers and roads and irrigation ditches. Interspersed between the trees were forests, lakes, protruding outcroppings and buttes made of rock interspersed with immense crystals, enormous statues of gods and heroic Pokémon, and sprawling towns of beautiful white-walled buildings covered in magnificent tile mosaics with roofs made of thatch and red shingles. Off in the distance was a majestic range of towering snow-capped mountains that seemed to reach up into the stars. Set among their foothills was an enormous and incredibly beautiful palace built in a style reminiscent of medieval Japunese fortresses that seemed to stretch from one end of the mountain range to another, with countless tiered towers and spires rising over the formidable walls. The grounds just outside the palace walls were beaten flat and devoid of berry trees, and had the look of some kind of massive training field. The palace's central keep was at least ten stories tall with a majestic winged statue of Mew placed on its front that seemed to stare protectively and lovingly at the towns and berry fields surrounding it. A pair of immense statues of vaguely humanoid androgynous figures with small wings and blank features stood protectively on either side of the keep. A cylindrical tower rose another six stories from the top of the keep, red, yellow, and blue stones set into its walls with what looked to be a pair of actual _wings_ extending out from the sides, spreading over the heads of the giants and stretching several dozen meters in either direction. Nestled in an elegant framework at the top of the tower was a tremendous crystal that radiated a glorious white light so bright it could be felt even from where Team Nightshade were standing countless miles away. Just looking at it made them feel peaceful, rested, and happy. Three smaller lights, one blue, one red, and one yellow, floated around the giant crystal in a small orbit, training light of their own on the immense radiant jewel.

"Unbelievable…" Janine whispered.

"It's even more beautiful than the stories told…" Maren said, tearing up.

"It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," Jerry said.

"Sssweet," Evan hissed. "Yeah, thisss isss definitely the Berry Kingdom, all right."

"What was your first clue?" Janine asked.

"All the berriesss?" Evan said, not picking up on her sarcasm. She sighed.

"Oh, Gary…it's beautiful…" Mary whispered.

"I know, right?" Gary said.

"Look!" Callista cried, pointing at the top of the distant tower. "That's the Luminous Crystal! My destiny!"

"Huh! Guess we don't have to go out of our way to find that thing after all!" Gary said, squinting at the bright light. "Well, that's another quest objective to check off on our list."

"So the Berry King has both Princess Sara _and_ the Luminous Crystal?!" Maren said in alarm. "He really must be trying to revive Lemewria!"

"We have to stop him!" Mary said.

"Why? I thought we wanted that to happen," Evan said.

"…Er…because…we're the ones who are supposed to do it, not him!" Mary said awkwardly.

"Oh, okay," Evan said.

"Well then, let's get going! The Berry King's gotta be in that ginormous castle, so if we're gonna beat him and save the Princess, we have to get moving!" Gary declared.

"That will not be necessary!" a deep voice boomed across the field as the skies above them darkened ominously.

Without warning, tornados and lightning bolts shot down from the heavens and struck the ground on either side of the group, causing them to jump in surprise. Three Pokémon descended from the skies to surround them on all sides. One was a green muscular humanoid Pokémon covered in irregularly shaped purple spots with two purple horns on its forehead, white wavy and billowy styled hair, a spiky white mustache and two pointed green ears on either side of its head, yellow eyes with beady white irises and no visible pupils, a broad purple chest consisting of two joined, partially diamond shaped pecs and shoulders, elbows and navel adorned with raindrop like designs, two spotted muscular arms with five fingers on each hand, and a lower body consisting of a trailing cloud, with a purple long, curling tail, tipped with a whirl with khaki whorled structures spanning the length of the tail. One was a blue muscular humanoid Pokémon covered in various irregularly shaped purple spots with a single long sharp, purple horn on its head, white zigzagging and jutting styled hair, a spiky white mustache and two pointed blue ears on either side of his head, yellow eyes with beady white irises and no visible pupils, a broad chest consisting of two joined, purple, rounded-diamond shaped pecs and shoulders, elbows and navel adorned with raindrop like designs, two spotted muscular arms with five fingers on each hand, and a lower body consisting of a trailing cloud, with a thick long curling purple cable-like tail with several dark grey ball-like structures spanning the length of the tail with a long sharp spike on each side. The last one was an orange muscular humanoid Pokémon covered in dark pink spots shaped like diamonds, pebbles and raindrops, with three sharp pink horns arranged in a slight upwards arch on its forehead, a white protrusion shaped like a short log on top of its head, a jagged white mustache and two pointed orange ears on either side of its head, yellow eyes with beady white irises and no visible pupils, a broad chest consisting of two joined dark pink diamond shaped pecs and shoulders, elbows and navel adorned with raindrop like designs, two spotted muscular arms with five fingers on each hand, and a lower body consisting of a trailing cloud with a long curling brown branch or root-like tail with various flat protrusions running its span, each spotted in dark pink on their surface.

"Who the heck are they?!" asked an astonished Gary.

Maren gasped. "It's the Kami Trio!"

"The who now?" Gary asked.

"A trio of legendary Pokémon who are the gods of wind, lightning, and fertility!" Maren said.

"Never heard of them," Gary said.

Mary blinked. "Wait, what was that last one? Fertility? That…doesn't quite fit the pattern of the other two…"

"Fertility of _soil_, not what you're thinking," Maren said in annoyance.

"Oh," Mary said, blushing. "Still doesn't quite fit, though…"

"Actually, I'm _that_ kind of fertility deity too, if you know what I mean," the orange god, Landorus, said, waggling his eyebrows and doing a pelvic thrust.

All the female Pokémon's eyes bulged and their faces turned red, and the green god, Tornadus, facepalmed. "Every single time…" he muttered.

"Aren't most Trio Masters supposed to be more responsible than the other two members?" the blue god, Thundurus, grumbled.

"Oh! Oh! Are you guysss geniesss? You look like geniesss. Do you grant wissshesss?" Evan asked hopefully.

"No, we aren't genies," Thundurus said in annoyance.

"Why does everyone always ask us that?" Tornadus complained.

"Well, there's _one_ wish I can grant," Landorus said, waggling his eyebrows and doing a pelvic thrust. His brothers facepalmed.

"Why have you appeared before us, honored ones?" Callista asked.

"Good idea, butter 'em up ssso we can run away when their guard isss down!" Evan hissed.

"We heard that," Tornadus said.

"Heard what?" Evan asked.

"Heard you talking about buttering us up so you can run away when our guard is down," Thundurus said.

"What are you talking about?" Evan asked. "I never sssaid that."

"Yes you did, just a second ago!" Landorus said.

"No I didn't," Evan said.

"Yes, you did! Just now! To the Riolu wearing a skull…which is kind of creepy, by the way," Landorus said. Callista just stared at him, causing him to shudder.

"I don't remember doing that," Evan said in confusion.

"How can you not remember?!" Tornadus asked incredulously.

"Because he's an idiot," Mary said flatly.

"That'sss right, I am!" Evan said, nodding happily. The three legendaries stared at him in disbelief and disgust.

"…Right. Anyway," Landorus said. "You have trespassed in the sovereign domain of the Berry King! As such, you are to be detained and taken to His Majesty immediately!"

"Wait, you guys are working for the Berry King?" Maren asked in surprise.

"Most certainly!" Thundurus said.

"We even have these little badges showing we're his vassals. See?" Tornadus said, pointing to a berry-shaped badge pinned to his chest. His siblings had similar badges; each colored the same as their bodies.

"But…he's just a king, and you're gods!" said the astonished Jerry.

"Well, lesser gods, actually," Landorus said.

Tornadus nodded. "If we were stronger and higher up the celestial hierarchy, we wouldn't take orders from him, but we're just guardian deities."

"Also, the Berry King has the divine right to rule granted by the Holy Mother Mew, so we pretty much have to obey him," Thundurus added.

"A king so powerful even the gods bow to him…" Mary murmured in alarm.

"I don't care how powerful he is! We aren't going anywhere with you!" Gary said.

"Um, I thought we wanted to see the King," Jerry said.

"Well, actually, it would probably have been better if we could have snuck past him without drawing his attention so we could rescue Princess Sara and get out of here, but realistically I suppose that was never an option," Janine admitted.

"We _do_ want to see the King, but not as prisoners!" Gary said.

"Who said anything about being prisoners? You're guests!" Thundurus said.

"Oh, that'sss good, then!" Evan said.

"Evan, that's just another term for 'prisoner.' They're not going to let us walk away from here," Mary pointed out.

"That's right, we're not," Tornadus admitted.

"Oh yeah?! Well…screw you guys!" Gary said angrily. "We've fought a Devil Golem, romanced a giant snake, lost a race, starred in a play, fought demons, and faced our darkest secrets to get this far! We're not gonna go with a bunch of redundant wannabe gods just because your precious King said so!"

"_Redundant?!_" Landorus demanded furiously.

"Yeah, you heard me! There's already at least three lightning gods and another wind god and two land gods and one fertility god I can think of off the top of my head! Who needs you?!" Gary shouted.

"Gary, I don't think antagonizing deities is the best way to go about making us out of this in one piece," Mary said in concern as the legendaries turned red with anger.

"Ah, but don't you remember, Mary? There's a prophecy saying we're going to revive Lemewria, which means we _have_ to make it out of this in one piece!" Gary said.

"The prophecy didn't say we'd make it out of this without severe bodily harm," Callista pointed out.

Gary paused. "…This is true! However, we've come this far on our quest, and we will not be detained by a bunch of threshold guardians! We'll see the Berry King, all right…when we bust down the door to his throne room and knock him off his throne!"

"You _dare_ to threaten the Bery King?!" Thundurus shouted furiously.

"You bet I do! We're heroes, and overthrowing evil dictators is the sort of thing heroes do!" Gary said.

"Oh, lord…" Maren moaned, facepalming.

"What makes you think the Berry King is evil? This place looks pretty nice, and don't all the legends say he was a good guy?" Mary asked skeptically.

"Not every evil overlord rulesss a barren land of death and decay. Thisss placcce might _look_ niccce, but I bet under the sssurfaccce isss a land of oppresssion and misssery crying out desssperately for a hero to sssave them!" Evan said.

"And _we_ will be those heroes!" Gary declared. "We're not just a bunch of screw-ups and misfits anymore, we're Team Nightshade, and we're going to liberate the people of the Berry Kingdom from that despot who thought calling himself 'the Berry King' would make him seem less threatening and figured having goons called 'Poffin Mon' was a good idea!"

"…You're _insane_," said a stunned Tornadus.

"We've known that since day one," Mary said dryly while Maren banged her head against a nearby Berry Tree.

Evan nodded. "Nothing new there."

"…I am seriously wondering why on Earth destiny chose you all…" Callista said, disturbed.

"All right, fine!" Landorus snarled. "We were going to be civil, but then you started insulting us and the Berry King's honor!"

"And he called us redundant, brother! That hurt!" Thundurus said, looking upset.

"And you called us redundant! If you're that determined to make things difficult for yourselves, we'll be happy to oblige you!" Landrous growled.

"Fine! We'll take you all on!" Gary said. "After all the crap we've been through, you'd need an-"

"Gary, ssstop!" Evan hissed in alarm.

"Huh? What's wrong?" Gary asked.

"You were going to sssay sssomething like how if they wanted to beat usss, they'd need an army or sssomething, right?" Evan asked.

"Well, yeah…" Gary said.

"Don't sssay it! If you do, an army will pop up and clobber usss! That'sss how thessse thingsss alwaysss go, essspecially for usss!" Evan hissed.

Gary nodded, seeing the sense in this. "Oh yeah, good point. Nice save, Evan!"

"Yeah, I know," Evan said smugly.

"But wait…Evan, didn't _you_ just say they'd need an army to beat us?" Jerry asked.

Evan's eyes bulged. "Aw, crap."

The Berry Trees rustled, and suddenly they were surrounded by an army made up of several very strong-looking Pokémon from a variety of different species wearing colorful armor with Poffin-shaped studs covering their service as well as a number of Ghosts and black-clad ninjas. Landorus grinned triumphantly and crossed his arms. "Still want to make a scene?"

Gary facepalmed. "Nice going, Evan."

"Whoopsss," the Ekans said, laughing nervously.

Janine's eyes widened in astonishment as she recognized the insignias each of the ninjas were wearing, aside from the ubiquitous berry symbol all of the soldiers had on them somewhere: a pair of dragon wings spread in flight. _It cannot be…the fabled Wing clan truly does still exist, and serves the Berry King?! Then my brother's suspicions were correct…but why are they here? Why did they betray the Dragon God King for a new master? What is going on?!_

"I don't suppose it's too late for us to surrender peacefully?" Maren asked.

"Certainly you can surrender," Thundurus said, leering at them. "Because if there's one thing we're big on here in the Berry Kingdom, it's mercy and forgiveness."

"And not being an asshole," Tornadus said.

"And not being an asshole," Thundurus agreed.

"And making love," Landorus said. Team Nightshade stared at him. "What? We're a nation that worships Mew as our central deity. What do you expect?"

"He has a point there," Gary admitted.

"I _have_ been feeling a slight rise in my hormonal levels since we stepped in here and an increasing urge to ravish Maren," Janine said out of the blue.

Maren blushed. "J-Janine!" she stammered.

"Wow, it'll be jussst like home then, Mary!" Evan said excitedly.

Mary groaned. "Wonderful."

"Right," Thundurus said. "Mercy, forgiveness, not being an asshole, and making love. That's what we're big on here in the Berry Kingdom."

"Wait, then doesss that mean you're going to ravisssh all of usss?" Evan asked.

"What? No!" Tornadus said in alarm.

"Well, not without your permission, anyway," Landorus said. His brothers glared at him. "What? Fertility god. Of course I'd be thinking it."

"Oh," Evan said, looking disappointed, earning him weird looks from the others.

Gary sighed. "Well, I guess we could fight as hard as we could and inevitably get beaten and dragged to the court of the Berry King in a humiliating manner because that's pretty much our lot in life, or we could surrender and preserve some measure of dignity. What do you all say?"

"I say we surrender, since it's the least likely option that'll result in me getting covered in bruises," Jerry said. The others nodded in agreement, although Janine, as a member of the Shinobu family, found surrender somewhat distasteful and Callista didn't think there was much honor in it.

"All right, we surrender," Gary said once the group had come to a consensus.

"And?" Landorus asked, raising an eyebrow.

"…And what?" Gary asked.

"And you said some pretty hurtful things just a minute ago. Insulted us and the honor of the Berry King," Thundurus said.

"That wasn't very nice," Tornadus agreed.

Gary rolled his eyes. "Ugh, fine. Sorry for being a jerk earlier. It's been a rough few weeks."

"Apology accepted," Landorus said with a nod. "As is your surrender."

"And a good thing too," a new voice said. "I would have hated to use force against guests we've been waiting so long for."

The ranks of the soldiers surrounding the team parted to allow five figures to approach them. In the lead was a very handsome Gallade that immediately reminded Mary and Evan of one of their fathers (or uncles?) Gallant. He was wearing yellow armor similar to that of the other Poffin Mons, only it was shinier, a bit more ornate, and he wore a red cape with the image of a cluster of different types of Berries encircling a stylized image of Mew emblazoned on the back. On his brow he wore a diadem, but he managed to pull off the look without seeming too effeminate. Walking on either side of him were four quadrapedal Pokémon. Standing closest on his right side was a goat-like quadruped, aqua-blue in coloration, with yellow horns somewhat resembling thunderbolts, a snout a little lighter blue than its fur, gray spots on its long neck and hind legs, a white tuft of fur under its neck, yellow shoulderblades that resembled fins, a tail the same color as its snout looking similar to a a fin as well, and legs with black bands with dark and light blue fur and large black feet. Next to the goat-like Pokémon was a Pokémon with a bear-like body with gray coloring, a stubby tail, a black rounded forehead and two sharp brown horns that came forward from its back, a beige face with orange irises, claws under bands on its legs that were the same color as its face, and an underside that was also beige with stripes. Closest to the Gallade on his left side was a deer or antelope-like Pokémon, green in color, with horns that ended in dull points, a pink-tipped leaf on each side of its neck, pointed ends of fur on its back, a medium-length tail, legs resembling pointed knee-high boots with pointed hooves and pink highlights at the joint of its knees. Next to this green Pokémon was one smaller than the others. It was pony-like, with a large red mane with three blue, orange and green feathers sticking out of the front, fins for eyebrows, a single long blue-ridged horn, light blue-and-white-spotted coloration with spiky edges at the lower portion on the back of its head and neck, a cream-colored body with blue hooves, and a blue-and-white-spotted lifted and feathery tail comparable to an elaborate feather in a cap.

Maren gasped. "It's the Swords of Justice!"

"Let me guess, another group of legendaries I've never heard of?" Gary asked.

"They're heroes who, according to legend, used to travel the land and protect other Pokémon from oppression and evil," Jerry said.

"Yep, never heard of them," Gary said.

"…I find myself rather offended by that," the green Sword of Justice, Virizion, said, somewhat miffed.

"Want me to pound him?" the brown one, Terrakion, said a little too eagerly.

"He surrendered, and it's dishonorable to attack someone who's already put their life in your hooves," the blue one, Coballion, said.

"Eh, I suppose so," Terrakion grunted.

"So that makes what, seven gods working for the Berry King? Is he seriously that powerful?" asked an amazed Mary.

"Eight, actually," the smallest Sword, Keldeo, said.

Thundurus nodded. "We have a Meloetta as the court musician. She's quite pretty."

"_Very_ pretty," Landorus said dreamily.

"And we've also got a bunch of Shaymin running around, so that makes…uh…" Tornadus started counting fingers.

"Okay, we get the picture," Mary said.

"Wait, ssso if you guysss are heroesss, why are you working for the evil Berry King?" Evan asked.

"HE'S NOT EVIL!" all the Berry Kingdom Pokémon and legendaries except for the armored Gallade shouted.

"Ah," Evan said, cowering. "My mistake."

"He does bring up a good point, though. Why are you here serving the King rather than…I dunno, righting wrongs out in the wider world?" Gary asked, waving in the vague direction of the world beyond the Berry Kingdom.

"We swore an oath to serve the Berry Kingdom and protect its people long ago, after the King saved us from a great evil," Virizion said.

"We now guard this land to make sure that same evil does not return…for if it does, this realm will not be the only one that will suffer," Coballion said. Maren frowned at this. Were they talking about the Nihilators? The prophecy in Chroma Ruins seemed to imply their leader, the Faceless One, would be a grave threat to the world at large…

"Fair enough, I guess," Gary admitted. He frowned at the armored Gallade. "And I'm guessing you're this King we've been hearing about? Because if so, you and I have some serious words to discuss, what with you kidnapping Princess Sara and forcing us to run around the continent trying to catch up to you."

The Gallade smiled, and even Gary couldn't help but be charmed by it. "I'm flattered that you believe me to be my father, but no. I am not the Berry King, but his eldest son, Prince Caspen."

"_Eldest?_ So there are more of you?" Jerry asked.

"Quite a few, actually. It's hard to keep track, sometimes, what with all the wives and consorts my father has," Caspen said jokingly. "He takes Mew's mandate to spread love and life very seriously."

"Hey, hey, maybe you can have a ssshot with one of them!" Evan said, nudging the annoyed Callista. "After all, you're the future Queen of Lemewria, so it'd probably look good for you to get a husssband of royal blood. Or wife, if you're ssso inclined."

"Get off!" she growled in disgust, shoving him off. "As I already told you, I refuse to mate with one of the living!"

"A few of my siblings and cousins are Ghosts," Caspen said helpfully.

Callista perked up at this. "You don't say…"

Gary sighed. "Really? We're really discussing marrying the enemy here?"

"I'd hardly call us 'enemies,' Gary," Caspen said.

"Considering you've got us surrounded and are holding us prisoner, oh wait, that's right, we're your 'guests,' I hardly think-" Gary paused. "Wait, how do you know my name? Did you read my mind?! Because if you did, then surrender or not, Prince or not, I'm gonna-"

"I did not read your mind," Caspen said firmly. "It would be extremely rude and disrespectful to do such a thing to an outsider without their permission."

"Oh," Gary said, mollified. "All right then."

"But then how _did_ he know your name?" Mary asked.

"He probably heard it when one of us was yelling at Gary at some point," Janine said.

"Actually, no," Caspen said. "I knew your names because we've been expecting you for quite some time."

Team Nightshade exchanged surprised looks. "Wait, what?" Maren said.

"Maybe they have a ssscarily accurate prophecccy about usss too?" Evan suggested.

"No, although we do have some very perceptive seers," Caspen said. "We knew you were coming because we've been watching you ever since you set foot in Almiore and began your journey to collect the pieces of the Lemewrian Royal Seal, or as you would call it, the Magnificent Compass."

They were startled by this. "You've been watching us?!" Mary shouted in alarm. "All along?!"

"Impossible! I would have noticed-" Janine paused, looking at the Wing ninjas. Her eyes narrowed. "Ah. Of course."

"You've been spying on us?! Why?!" Gary asked, furious. It was bad enough that those Team Quantum jerks were probably always watching them, but now these jokers were too?! Couldn't they _ever_ get a break?! (He knew the answer was no, but the question still had to be asked.)

"Because the pieces of the Compass are of great interest to us as well," Caspen said. "And to our Kingdom's greatest enemy, whom we fear you have inadvertently been serving, by gathering the lost pieces of the Compass together."

"…Your greatest enemy?" Jerry asked in confusion.

"That evil thossse Sssword dudesss were talking about, maybe?" Evan guessed.

Virizion nodded. "Yes…it is he."

Gary blinked. "He? Wait…you're not talking about Team Quantum, then?"

"Who?" Caspen asked in confusion.

Gary frowned. "I guess not." His blood-if he had any that is-was seething. It had been bad enough when he'd found out Team Quantum had been manipulating him his entire life…and now there was some _other_ guy who was apparently using him and the others by letting them collect the Compass Pieces too? Would he _ever_ stop being someone else's pawn? (Again, he knew the answer was no, but the question still had to be asked.)

"We have known of the locations of the other Compass Pieces for quite some time," Caspen continued. "But left them where they were so as not to reveal their hiding places to our enemy, who desires them as well. But now that you have found them, and brought them all together…we fear he will come here soon, not just for the Compass, but for the Luminous Crystal atop Altru Tower."

Callista stiffened at this. "What?! But we need that to restore Lemewria!"

"Does this bad guy, whoever he is, want to raise Lemewria as well?" Jerry asked.

Caspen nodded. "He does indeed…but for _far_ less altruistic reasons than your uncrowned Queen."

"We cannot allow that to happen…" Callista growled.

"Who is the enemy?" Maren asked in concern.

"Is it the Nihilators?" Janine asked, although she had some suspicions of her own as to who their foe might be…but dared not voice them, for fear they might be true.

Caspen shook his head. "He is in league with them, but no, it is not the Nihilators."

"Then who is it?!" Gary demanded.

"The King of Pokélantis," Caspen said.

"What?!" Callista cried.

"Wait, that can't be! I thought he died when Ho-Oh destroyed Pokélantis!" Maren said.

"Which wasss, like, thousssandsss of yearsss ago! How can he ssstill be around?!" Evan asked.

"While Ho-Oh did in fact destroy his kingdom, the evil king managed to seal his spirit inside a stone orb," Coballion said.

"After the great disaster, however, the orb shattered, releasing his spirit onto the world again," Landorus said. "And he desires the power he was denied all those millennia ago…"

"Ho-Oh?" Evan asked.

"No, the Luminous Crystal," Keldeo said.

"Oh yeah, that thing," Evan said.

"Wait, he wants to restore Lemewria? Why? I thought his kingdom was enemies with Lemewria," Jerry said in confusion.

"He wants to restore Lemewria so that he may conquer the land he failed to destroy thousands of years ago, creating a new Pokélantis and using its power to take over the world," Caspen said.

"Ssso, you know, ssstandard evil villain plot," Evan said.

Gary frowned. "And…you're saying he's been using us to collect the Compass pieces and lead him to the Crystal? But how? We've never even met the guy!" He paused. "…Have we?"

"…Perhaps we have…" Janine murmured.

Maren frowned. "Huh? What are you saying?"

"If the King of Pokélantis is a spirit…then that means he can possess the living, can he not?" Janine asked.

Callista nodded. "That sounds about right, given what I know about spirits, which is quite a lot. You know, what with having been raised by them all my life and all."

Caspen nodded. "Indeed, which is part of the reason he is so dangerous, aside from the dark powers he has amassed from stewing in his hatred for so many centuries."

"Then…has he possessed the Mirage King?" Janine asked.

"WHAT?!" the rest of the team asked incredulously.

Caspen nodded sadly. "I'm afraid so."

"That-that can't be right!" Maren stammered in disbelief. "The King, evil?!"

"Not evil, posssesssed," Evan said. "There'sss a difference."

"You're telling me we've been working for a bad guy all this time?!" Gary asked in shock.

Mary sighed. "Somehow I'm not surprised."

"No, it's not possible! We-we would have known if the King were possessed!" Maren protested, although suddenly she wasn't so sure. She remembered the warning Colonel Hansen had received prior to Princess Sara's abduction. She remembered Janine's suspicions that someone within the upper echelons of the Mirage Kingdom's government might be working for the mysterious Nihilators. And while she had believed her lover's suspicions might be accurate…for the Mirage King, of all Pokémon, to be the traitor?! It was inconceivable!

"By possessing a Pokémon, the King of Pokélantis has access to all his host's memories, allowing him to mimic their mannerisms and make it difficult for others to realize he is there," Caspen said. "We have ways of telling when he has possessed someone, however, due to our many years of trying to keep him from gaining access to our kingdom, which is how we knew the Mirage King had fallen to his power."

"But…the King…it's unthinkable!" Maren stammered, having a great difficulty reconciling what she was being told with what she knew of her royal master. He couldn't be possessed. Surely, someone, anyone would have noticed if he had been, wouldn't they? Wouldn't they?

And he hadn't been acting any differently in recent times, so…

But wait. Hadn't he been building up their military, putting more of the kingdom's budget into weapons development and holding more recruitment drives in the last few months, even before Princess Sara's abduction? There had been an increase in barbarian and monster attacks out at the fringes of the kingdom, so it was perfectly understandable that he would give more funding to the nation's defenses, but…what if that _weren't_ his only reason for strengthening their army? What if he was gearing up for…war?

"No…" she whispered, though in her heart of hearts, she already knew it had to be so. Janine quietly put a claw on her shoulder.

"The guy who hired you was evil? But why would he-" Jerry started.

"He wanted the Compass Pieces, but since his own goons weren't doing a good enough job of finding them…" Gary paused, eyes narrowing. "I don't suppose _you_ had something to do with why some of the Mirage Kingdom soldiers weren't able to come back with the pieces they were sent to find out?"

Caspen nodded. "We did our best to…dissuade them without their noticing us."

"And before you ask, yes, the soldiers sent to our realm are safe and sound and under our protection," Virizion assured Maren and Janine.

The Ninjask nodded while Maren continued to suffer a breakdown at the realization that her king was evil and she had been a puppet all along. "That is good news, I suppose."

"And since his soldiers weren't working, he heard about the up-and-coming heroes Team Aurabolt, figured they might be able to do the job where his guys couldn't, and sent for them," Gary continued. "But he got _us_ instead." _More of Team Quantum's meddling, to make sure we followed the prophecy?_

"So why didn't you 'dissuade' us from finding the Compass Pieces as well?" Mary asked Caspen.

"We tried, actually," the Prince admitted. "But whenever our agents were about to act, an odd series of coincidences resulted in them being incapacitated and you succeeding despite our best efforts and your own shortcomings. Your many, _many_ shortcomings."

"Team Quantum…" Gary hissed.

"Who?" Caspen asked.

"You keep mentioning that name…" Terrakion noted.

"I'll explain later," Gary said, furious that the time travelers had interfered again and were continuing to guide them towards their preordained fate…one which seemed to be benefiting an ancient evil, as well. "So thanks to us, this evil King now knows where your Kingdom, the last Compass Piece, and the Luminous Crystal are, and now all he has to do is come here and he'll have everything he needs to resurrect Lemewria."

"I'm afraid so," Caspen said.

"Wonderful," Gary growled.

"But even if he acquires those items, he will still require me to activate them," Callista pointed out. "As the last of the Lemewrian royal bloodline, only I can reawaken the power of the sunken continent."

"Then what's to stop him from taking you, as well?" Mary asked darkly.

"Us," Gary said, surprising his friends. "This guy's been jerking us around for way too long. If he wants to take Callista and use all our hard work and effort to take over the world, he's got another thing coming."

"He will have us to deal with as well," Caspen said.

Coballion nodded. "Even if he comes at us with the entire Mirage Kingdom army and whatever power his Nihilator allies can supply him with, he will still need to defeat the Berry army."

"The Mirage Kingdom army? Then…you'd go to war with the Mirage Kingdom?!" Maren asked in horror. "No, you can't! They probably have no idea the King's evil, he'll probably feed them a lie about how they're marching here to liberate Princess Sara from your king's evil clutches!"

"THE BERRY KING ISN'T EVIL!" the Berry Kingdom soldiers shouted.

"_We_ know that, but _they_ don't!" Maren pointed out.

"Another message has been sent to your brother, Colonel Hansen, warning him of the evil lurking within his liege," Caspen said. "Perhaps he can stop a war before it happens."

"Even if he suspects, he may not be entirely willing to trust you," Janine said. "Let me send him a message. He'll believe it if it's from me."

"We will give you everything you need to send a message once we return to the castle," Caspen promised.

"That reminds me," Mary said. "Where does Princess Sara come into this? Why'd you kidnap her?"

"Since her father was possessed, that meant that her piece of the Compass was in danger," Caspen explained. "Even though he couldn't remove her crown due to the enchantment placed on it, if he had enough time he could arrange for her to marry someone, then arrange for Princess Salvia, the Queen, and his current host to die in a tragic 'accident,' possess Sara's husband, and not only gain access to the Compass piece but still retain control of the Kingdom since all the others ahead of him would have been removed from line."

"Geez…looksss like your ruling family sssure dodged a bullet there, huh Maren?" Evan asked.

"Y-yes…so it would seem," Maren said, shocked to realize just how close her kingdom had been to ruin.

"We tried to take the Compass Base as well to prevent the King from using it to track us or the other Compass pieces, but failed," Caspen continued.

"Well, obviously, or else we wouldn't be here," Mary said.

"Does Sara still wear her crown?" Gary asked.

"At the moment, she does," Caspen said, much to their relief. "She might not for much longer, though."

They exchanged worried looks. "…What are you talking about?" Janine asked.

Caspen looked somewhat embarrassed. "She…has fallen for one of my brothers."

"Ohhhhh," they all said knowingly.

"What?!" Maren screamed.

"However, the wedding is on hold until the current crisis is over, so as to keep her piece of the compass safe," Caspen continued. "After the King is defeated once again, she and my brother will be wed, and the Compass will be complete at last."

"Good," Jerry said.

"Wait, we're allowing this?!" Maren asked.

"Why not?" Mary asked.

"Because…because they kidnapped her!" Maren protested.

"For a good reason," Janine pointed out.

"Well yeah, but…still!" Maren said.

"Look, she needs to get married for her to take off that crown, and we need her to take off that crown to get that Compass Piece, so unless anyone else wants to volunteer to marry her, I don't really see much of another option, especially if she loves the guy," Gary said.

"Well, I'd do it but I have that thing with Hisssssssssa, so maybe Callisssta could marry her instead," Evan suggested.

"I already told you, I won't mate with a mortal!" Callista said.

"Oh, right. Maren?" Evan asked.

"I'm with Janine," Maren said. "And it's not an open relationship."

"Janine?" Evan asked.

"I'm with Maren," Janine said. "And it's not an open relationship."

"Gary?" Evan asked.

"I'm with Mary but also holding out for Gardevoir," Gary said.

"Mary?" Evan asked.

"I'm with Gary, even though he's also holding out for Gardevoir," Mary said.

"Well…uh…Jerry?" Evan said.

"I'm gay," Jerry said.

Everyone looked at the Cherubi in surprise. "You are?" Mary asked.

"Yeah, wasn't it obvious?" Jerry asked.

"Uh…" Evan said.

"So! Once Sara's married and gets her crown off, can we use her Compass Piece and your Crystal to restore Lemewria?" Gary asked loudly.

There was an awkward pause. "That…is something you must discuss with my father," the Gallade said after a moment. "It is not within my power to grant such a request."

"In other words, no, he's not giving us the Crystal," Mary translated.

"WHAT?!" Callista demanded.

"We need the Crystal too, you know," Thundurus said.

Tornadus nodded. "It provides power to the entire Berry Kingdom and generates a barrier of positive energy that's the only thing keeping creatures of pure evil such as the King of Pokélantis from setting foot on our soil."

"And brainwassshing your citizzzensss to be loyal and obedient?" Evan asked.

"What? No!" Tornadus said.

"Well, it _does_ radiate love and happiness across the kingdom to keep anyone from becoming evil…er, does that count?" Thundurus asked.

Landorus smacked him. "Don't mention that!"

"Aha! Ssso it _isss_ brainwassshing!" Evan said triumphantly. "…I think…"

"It's a wonder it didn't keep us out, then," Janine half-joked.

"I suppose that explains why I'm feeling slightly less homicidal than usual," Janine mused.

"And why I'm finding my tolerance for Evan's stupidity gradually growing," Mary said uncomfortably.

"Awww, thanksss!" Evan said stupidly.

"You're messing with our heads?!" Gary screamed furiously.

"No, your hearts," Keldeo said.

"That's...! You…!" Gary spluttered incoherently for a moment, before looking confused. "I'm…not sure whether or not to feel angry about that, and I can't tell if that's because I'm confused or because that Crystal thing is affecting me too."

"Could be both," Jerry suggested.

"Yeah, that's possible," Gary agreed.

"I don't care if your Kingdom requires that Crystal! _My_ kingdom needs it too!" Callista said angrily. "And as the last heir of Lemewria, it is mine by birthright!"

"It's mine, too," Caspen said with a frown. "Mew bequeathed it to the Berry King centuries ago, so it's my birthright as well."

Callista faltered. "W-well, yes, but…we had it first!"

"And lost it," Terrakion pointed out.

Keldeo nodded. "Last time I checked, Lemewria was at the bottom of the sea, while the Berry Kingdom is still here…it doesn't look like you did a very good job of using Mew's gift properly, did you?"

Callista snarled and clenched her fists, Aura igniting around them. "You…!"

"Okay, let's cut this out before somebody starts something they'll regret," Gary said loudly. "Callista, we've surrendered, which means we can't attack them or they'll beat us to a pulp, okay?"

"But…the Crystal! My heritage! My _destiny!_" Callista protested.

"Callista, the prophecy said we're going to raise Lemewria from the ocean floor, which means we're going to do it no matter what these guys say about the matter, especially since a trio of evil time travelers are fucking up our lives and the lives of everyone around us to make sure their nefarious agenda stays on track."

Caspen blinked. "Wait, what?"

"We'll explain later," Gary said. It was refreshing to keep someone else in the dark for a change.

"…All right," Caspen said, looking confused.

"Your Majesty, we've been standing around talking for what feels like hours-" Landorus started.

"Standing? The three of you are floating," Coballion pointed out.

Landorus ignored him. "Weren't we supposed to be taking them to the palace? Why'd we spend the last several minutes telling them all this rather than doing this in a much more luxurious setting, with food, drinks, and plenty of courtesans?"

Evan perked up at this. "Courtesssansss?! Why didn't you sssay ssso sssooner! Gary, I can't believe they denied usss the chanccce to hang out with courtesssansss!"

Gary raised an eyebrow. "What was that about you being faithful to Hisssssa?"

"I am! There'sss no reassson I can't _look_ at other womon though, isss there?" Evan asked. "_Essspecccially_ if they're sssexxxy courtesssansss!"

"I guess not," Gary admitted.

Caspen smirked. "It's funny you should mention Hissssa, actually…"

"Hey, handsssome. Misss usss?" eight familiar voices spoke in unison.

Evan's head shot up, and everyone gasped in disbelief. "Hisssssssa?!"

Again, the soldiers parted to allow a gargantuan multi-headed Seviper through. It was their old friend Hissssa, all right, but she looked…different. For one thing, she now had a tail, ending in a long, viciously barbed blade with eight colored bells wrapped in a ring around its base. For another, she now had _eight_ heads rather than two, each of which was wearing a golden headdress with a colored crest in a different shape with a kanji inscribed on each one: a red flame with the symbol for fire, a blue drop with the symbol for water, a green cyclone with the symbol for wind, a brown rock with the symbol for earth, a purple skull and crossbones with the symbol for poison, a yellow lightning bolt with the symbol for electricity, a white sunburst with the symbol for light, and a black spike with the symbol for darkness. Gold plates ran down the backs of her eight necks and along the length of her tail. Her scales had grown somewhat blacker as well, creating a sharp contrast to her shining armor.

"HISSSSSSSA!" Evan cried in delight.

"EVAN!" the eight heads of the giant snake cried at once. They slithered towards each other, forcing everyone to scatter out of Hissssa's way as she surged through them and wrapped her massive coils around Evan's considerably smaller form, her eight heads darting down and smothering him with kisses that left bruises but also had the Ekans laughing in joy.

"Uh, wow. I don't remember her looking quite like that," Maren said, eyes bulging.

"She's even bigger than before…and has more heads…and armor!" Jerry stammered.

"She is truly the heir to Yamatorochi's power…" Callista murmured. "I pray she does not use her ancestor's legacy for evil, like that legendary fiend did…"

"Holy crud, what happened to her?!" Gary gawked.

"Ever since she arrived here, she has been training in an attempt to hone the power of her bloodline, to keep from being consumed by darkness and using it for evil like Yamatorochi did, and to help protect her beloved Evan from those who would do him harm," Caspen explained.

"Which means the lot of you might want to start treating him a little nicer if you don't want to call down the wrath of Hissssa on your heads," Terrakion said in amusement.

"…We'll keep that in strong consideration," Mary said.

"But how did she even _get_ here? The last time we saw here was in Pueltown, way to the south!" Gary said. "Where she disappeared in a giant explosion along with Nando and Team Perdition when the Selene Theater blew up!"

"I believe I can explain that, my friends," a familiar Clefable said as he approached, wearing a wide-brimmed dark green hat and cape, carrying a Mew-shaped harp.

Gary's eyes lit up. "Nando! You're here too?!" he asked, elated to see his friend and singing tutor.

The Spirit of Pueltown laughed musically. "I am indeed, my friend. While Hissssa has been training to make herself stronger, I have been wandering the countryside of the Berry Kingdom, taking in the sights, hearing the stories of the people, and finding inspiration around every corner. Oh, the wonders I have seen! This land is almost as beautiful as my homeland of Feymarche on the bright side of the Moon, ruled over by Her Moonjesty Lady Cresselia! I have so many ideas for what I'll do when I return to Pueltown…I will revolutionize the city and bring in a new golden age of art and culture! My fair lady of the lunar seas will be most pleased by my endeavors in Her name!"

"Nice to see you've been having a good time," Jerry commented.

"But Nando, how did you survive the explosion of Selene Theater?" Gary asked.

"The power granted to me by my Lunar mistress and Hissssa's dark powers turned out to be enough to keep us from being destroyed after all," Nando said. "Not enough to keep us from being flung hundreds of miles away from Pueltown and all of you, though. We crash-landed here in the Berry Kingdom, and the people here were nice enough to help us recover and tend to our needs while we awaited you, for they assured us you would one day come here. And lo and behold, they were right! How fortuitous that we would have landed here rather than in the ocean or some other faraway place, or else this reunion might have been an even longer time coming!"

Gary frowned. "Yes…how 'fortuitous…'" Somehow he didn't think luck had anything to do with it. _Another thing to blame on Team Quantum. While I'm happy to see Nando and Hissssa too, there must be a reason they were put here…what is it?_

"And now we are together once again…and it seems you have made a new ally!" Smiling, Nando got down on one knee and kissed Callista's paw. "It is an honor to meet you, milady. Despite the misgivings of my hosts, I fully applaud your dream to restore Lemewria and will support you in any way I can!"

"Th-thank you," Callista said with a blush, pulling her paw away reflexively. "I…your help would be most appreciated."

"Aren't you going to yell at him for touching you with his disgusting, mortal lips?" Mary asked wryly.

"He's a fairy!" Callista hissed. "And thereby immortal, and while not as appealing as the undead, he's still a more attractive creature than most living Pokémon."

"Nando…" Gary said, tearing up. "I'm…I'm really glad to see you again. I was so worried when that theater blew up…and even though I found out later we'd probably see each other again, I still…"

"It is all right, my friend," Nando said kindly. "I am honored that you were so concerned for me. But as you can see, I am alive and well, and so are you. Well, undead and well, anyway." He smiled. "And now we have plenty of time to catch up with each other, and tell stories of what we have done since last we met."

Gary sobered at that. "Yeah…and mon, do I have one heck of a tale for you!"

"Then let us adjourn to the palace, where we may exchange our stories in a more comfortable setting," Nando said. He smirked. "Plus, it'll give me a chance to catch up with the court musician again…"

Gary grinned and nudged Nando. "Oho, has someone found a certain special somePokémon?"

Nando blinked in surprise. "Hmm? Oh, no…Euterpe is a good friend and occasional…dalliance…but my heart only beats for one lady."

"Cresselia?" Janine asked.

"What? No, my wife, Bridget," Nando said.

They all stared at him. "You're _married?!_" Gary asked incredulously.

"And here I thought he was gay…you know, fairy and all…" Mary said.

"Mary!" Maren said, shocked.

"What? He is a fairy!" Mary pointed out. "And not an especially masculine one, either!"

"Darn…" Jerry said in disappointment.

"You're married? To whom?" Callista asked, trying to hide her disappointment.

"A lovely Dark Clefairy by the name of Bridget," Nando said dreamily.

"Dark Clefairy?" Mary asked.

"They're a subspecies of Clefairy that live on the dark side of the moon and serve Darkrai," Callista said.

Nando nodded. "While Clefairies who serve Cresselia like myself craft good dreams and spread peace and light, those who serve Darkrai create nightmares and try to spread fear and darkness…which is only fitting, since their master is the god of death and shadows and bad dreams and whatever new title he's picked up in the last few weeks."

"So…she's evil?" Gary asked.

"What? No!" Nando said, offended. "Perhaps she could be construed as such by your standards, but not by ours. While the two breeds of Clefairy tend to spend most of their time on their separate dominions on the Moon, we travel between the two hemispheres frequently and have a great rapport with our opposites. For us, the difference between our kinds is only skin-deep, though it might not seem that way to you Earthlings. I have loved my wife for centuries, and even though our masters, homelands, and hobbies seem completely different on the surface, in reality we are not that dissimilar. Even if our rulers bicker constantly, they love each other dearly…and so too do we Clefairies love each other, no matter which side of the Moon we're from…which is why the constant wars and artificial divisions you Pokémon of Earth inflict on each other confuses and fascinates us so."

"It confuses us too, to be honest," Maren admitted.

"Well, perhaps by your actions, you will change them," Nando said. "I am in the process of writing a ballad dedicated to your adventures, and hope that it will have a happy ending."

"Really?" Gary asked in surprise. "That's…wow. Um, thanks. I never thought anyone would ever do anything like that for us."

"Except for a song cursing our names," Mary said.

"We hope our story has a happy ending as well," Janine said.

"Although I'm fairly sure the prophecy said it will," Callista pointed out.

"Prophecy? This I must hear," Nando said, intrigued. "But we have dallied here long enough. Why don't you tell me when we get back to the palace? I am eager to hear it."

"We'd be happy to tell you," Gary said. "Um…but, uh, when you finish that song, how…_honest_ is it going to be, exactly?"

"Completely. While some artists prefer to glorify the subjects of their works, I find it better to instead describe Pokémon as they really were, so history may remember them for the brilliant but flawed individuals they truly were, warts and all," Nando said.

Gary grimaced. "I was afraid of that."

"Are you ready to depart, then?" Prince Caspen asked Gary.

The Gengar nodded. "Yeah, I think so."

The Gallade smiled. "Very well. Then I would be happy to escort you and your friends to my father's palace. He has been curious to meet you for quite some time…as has my sister-in-law-to-be, who wants to know just what sorts of mons her father has sent to 'rescue' her."

"Whatever she's expecting, I'm sure she'll be woefully disappointed," Mary muttered.

"Evan! Stop kissing your girlfriend, we're leaving!" Maren shouted at Evan.

"Okay!" Evan said dizzily, deliriously happy and covered in very large and painful-looking hickeys.

"No! Evan'sss not going anywhere!" Hissssa…hissed, tightening her coils around Evan protectively and causing him to start turning blue from lack of oxygen. "We've waited thisss long for him, we're not letting go of him again! EVER!"

"Okay, fine, you can take him with you," Maren said, compromising.

"Oh, good!" the lightning head said eagerly.

"That meansss we get more make-out time…" the poison head said, licking the side of Evan's face and covering it in venomous saliva.

"I am the luckiest mon in the world," Evan said dreamily just before the water head gave him a kiss that nearly enveloped his entire head.

His friends turned their backs on the kissing snakes, lest they be completely horrified and disgusted by what they were doing. "So, you'd better get us to the palace before they forget we're supposed to be going somewhere and have sex where they're standing," Gary said to the prince.

Caspen stared at him blankly. "…Why would that be a bad thing?"

"Buh?" Gary asked, dumbfounded.

"Because it's really, really not something any of us ever want to see, ever?" Mary said.

"Why not?" Caspen asked.

"What?! Because…we…uh…" Mary spluttered incredulously.

"They're devout Mewrians," Nando whispered to them. "Public displays of…well, you know…are acceptable in the Berry Kingdom. It is on the Moon too, frankly—we fairies have somewhat _looser_ standards than you Earthlings-but they're a little more, ah…_enthusiastic_ about it here."

"Ah," Mary said, eyes widening. _Great, it really is like home…_

"I'm beginning to get similar urges too," Janine admitted.

Maren turned bright red, trying to deny that she had been feeling the same thing. "J-Janine!"

Before things could spiral even further out of control, Gary quickly said, "I'm sure that would be lovely, but we need to go meet your father, and if Evan and Hissssa were to…make up for lost time here, we'd be late, now wouldn't we?"

The prince considered this. "My father would understand, but I suppose you have a point. Hissssa, I'm afraid you'll have to wait until later to fully celebrate your reunion with your beloved. You can do whatever you want with him on the way, though."

"Oh, I _fully_ intend to," the fire head promised as the other heads took turns kissing Evan.

"With_ pleasssure_," the wind head hissed as she nuzzled the dazed Evan.

"OKAY, LET'S GO LET'S GO LET'S GO!" Gary shouted, desperate to get moving before things got too hot and heavy.

"Move out!" Caspen ordered. "We return to the palace!"

The ninjas disappeared, while the other soldiers closed ranks around Team Nightshade as Caspen and the Swords of Justice led them in the direction of the distant palace, with the Kami Trio floating overhead. Hissssa slithered alongside them, constantly swapping out heads to look where she was going while the rest showered Evan with affection. Landorus kept slowing down to stare, causing his brothers to bump into him. "Will you stop it, already?! You're slowing us down!" Tornadus snapped.

"I can't help it," Landorus said in a daze as the earth head tickled Evan with her tongue. "It's so hypnotic…and _arousing..._"

His brothers groaned. "And he's supposed to be the _responsible_ one," Thundurus complained.

"This is why I should have been Trio Master instead," Tornadus said. Thundurus gave him an incredulous look, and then burst into laughter. Snarling, Tornadus punched him. Incensed, Thundurus punched him back. The duo proceeded to start trying to beat the crap out of each other as only brothers can while Landorus, who would normally be the one to pull them apart, continued staring at Evan and Hissssa.

Coballion shook his head in disgust. "He needs to run a tighter ship than that…Terrakion, don't even think of tripping Keldeo."

"Wh-what?!" Terrakion said in surprise as Keldeo glared at him and took a few steps away. "But I wasn't-"

"Terrakion!" Coballion said.

"Okay, okay!" Terrakion said, cowering. "I won't trip him!"

"See that you don't," Coballion said.

"…How does he _always know?!_" Terrakion wondered in bewilderment.

"This is all too convenient, Mary. You realize that, right?" Gary muttered to the Medicham.

She nodded. "Yeah. Team Quantum?"

"It has to be," he said.

"What're you going to do about it?" Mary asked.

"Right now, I don't think there's anything we _can_ do. But if they show themselves…" Gary narrowed his eyes. "Then we'll see. _Then_ we'll see."

"See what?" Jerry asked.

"…Not sure. Just felt dramatic to say that," Gary admitted. Mary facepalmed.

And so they continued on their way to the palace of the Berry King…and, at long last, the objective of their quest: Princess Sara.

…

Meanwhile, in Kanjohenn…

Wabbaku's village was a simple one, built near the shores of Waterfall Lake, which, as the name implied, had a really big waterfall feeding into it. The buildings were simple constructs, huts and yurts and tents and the like made of whatever they could scrounge from the land. It wasn't quite as impressive as the village Michael's tribe had managed to build in Treeshroud Forest, but Gardenia liked it all the same. She'd have to, since she was going to be living here from now on.

She was standing besides Wabbaku, with a Kirlia named Alicia from another local tribe standing on his other side. Both of them were wearing flowing white gowns, heavy makeup and paint all over their bodies in patterns Wabbaku assured her were both traditional and mystical, wearing a variety of necklaces, bracelets, and rings made out of an assortment of rare and valuable and somewhat eclectic materials, and headdresses with bits of bone and Ho-Oh Downs in them. Wabbaku was wearing robes, jewelry and makeup to match their own, with a much more fancy headdress with many colorful feathers glistening in all the colors of the rainbow spreading out like a fan around his head.

The three of them were standing on the shore of Waterfall Lake, facing the water, with an elderly Wobbuffet wearing ceremonial robes and a many-feathered headdress with markings similar to the ones they were all wearing while carrying a staff with a variety of beads and feathers and bits of stone dangling from its end. Standing in a loose semicircle behind them were the members of Wabbaku's and Alicia's tribes. The former were mostly Wynauts and Wobbuffets with a few other Pokémon for variety, while Alicia's tribe was primarily made up of Psychic-types. Standing near the front of the crowd was Wabbaku's first wife, Lucy, a Milotic that was the most beautiful Pokémon Gardenia had ever met who she couldn't help but feel inferior to whenever she was around her but she was so _nice_ that she couldn't find herself doing anything but loving her, along with her Wabbaku's children: a couple of Wobbuffets, three Feebases, and a Wynaut. A number of Lucy's tribesmates and relatives were either scattered among the guests or bobbing in the water, watching from the lake. Gardenia's family was there as well, though the Cacturne had been somewhat reluctant to invite them, since they weren't exactly on the best of terms, but Wabbaku had convinced her that they should be present for something as important as this. All these Pokémon had come together for one reason and one reason only…

The marriage between her and Wabbaku. (And Alicia, she supposed.) She was so happy she was surprised she wasn't squealing with joy every other minute, and instead managed to keep silent while the village headmon performed the rites. Normally this task would fall to Wabbaku, as the tribe's shaman, but since he was the one getting married and his son was not yet experienced enough to take up the role, the headmon had to do it in his place. "The union between a mon and a womon is not something to be taken lightly," the old mon said gravely. "Marriage is a sacred bond, blessed by the spirits and nourished by love, which must be worked at constantly by all parties to remain as whole and healthy as the day it is first formed. All unions are different, just as all Pokémon are different, and so different methods are necessary for each party involved to keep the love between them and their spouses true and pure. Marriage is a mountain that can only be scaled by trusting in your partner, and without that trust, both of you will fall." He gave the three of them a solemn look, and said, "This is especially the case with the marriage of a shaman.

"The shaman is a bridge between the world of mortals and spirits, a mon with one pseudopod in each plane but not fully belonging in either. A shaman's duty is to his people, to keep good relations with the spirits of nature and the ancestors, so that we in this world may prosper and those beyond may know peace. The shaman enriches the lives of those closest to him, granting them the blessings of the spirits and ensuring them long life and happiness so long as he is steadfast and true in his task." He frowned. "But marriage is a two-way path, and while the shaman's wives need their husband, so too does he need his wives, and not just for comfort and to ensure his future lineage.

"A shaman's task is hard and lonely, for few can truly comprehend the burden he carries; having to live up to the expectations of people in two worlds. Few can understand the trials he must pass, the voices he must listen to, and the prices he must pay for his power and the prosperity he brings to his people. As time goes on, the allure from the spirit world may grow stronger than his ties to our own, and he may find it more and more difficult to remain balanced between the two." The headmon gave Gardenia and Alicia a serious look. "That is where you come in.

"You are his rock, his anchors in our world. Your love will remind him of how the physical plane still holds wonders, and give him a reason to return from the realms beyond our own each day. You will give him something to come back to, a hearth and a home and a family, a reason to continue his duties, for he will not just be serving his people…but the ones he loves most, as well. However, this is by no means an easy task, nor one that can be entered into lightly. Once you commit to being the wife of a shaman, you cannot break that union, not without potentially driving him into the spirit realm forever. This is a great responsibility, and must be treated as such…but with great responsibility comes great rewards, and while the path may be long and hard, there will be many incentives to keep you going, not the least of which is the love of your husband and the gratitude and respect of his people, whom you will be serving in your own way just as the shaman does. So, if either of you are having second thoughts, I suggest you say so now, because after this there is no turning back."

Neither Alicia nor Gardenia said a thing. Nobody in the crowd stirred or said a word…but Lucy smiled. So did the headmon. "Very well. I see you have made your decision. Do you both wish to marry this shaman, then, knowing the lifelong duty that awaits you?"

"I do," Alicia said.

"Without a doubt," Gardenia said.

The headmon nodded. "Good, good. And shaman, what of you? Will you accept these young ladies as your rock, your anchors in our world?"

"I do," Wabbaku said. "I cannot think of any I would rather have for this task…save one." He glanced over his shoulder and smiled at Lucy, who bowed her head and smiled demurely.

The old Wobbuffet pounded his staff on the ground. "Then as village headmon, I grant you my permission to marry…however, my authority alone is not enough. You must seek the approval of the ancestors as well." He stood aside, clearing the path to the waters of the lake. "Immerse yourselves in the sacred waters of Waterfall Lake, the source of our people's life and health. Commune with the ancestors. If they give you their permission—and I see no reason why they should not—then you will truly be as one. Go forth, shaman and brides, and receive the judgment of those who came before."

Gardenia glanced at Wabbaku, who nodded subtly. They'd talked about this beforehand. She'd been warned that they'd have to do this at the end of the ceremony, and it was more than just a formality. They would have to enter the water, and stay there, until the ancestors decided whether or not she and Alicia were worthy of marrying Wabbaku. The necklaces they wore bore charms that would allow them to breathe underwater, much like the spells Wabbaku had used to help them get to Hyperbeamorea. There was no guarantee, however, of just how long they'd be down there. According to Wabbaku, one shaman in the past had been forced to wait for days underwater until the ancestors finally passed judgment. He was fairly certain it wouldn't last that long this time, but…you never knew. Swallowing her insecurities, she nodded back, and then strode towards the water's edge, one appendage locked in Wabbaku's flipper. The waters of the lake lapped around their ankles as they waded in, and then rose to their thighs, past their waists, their chests, and finally their necks as they walked further and further down the surprisingly steep slope leading into the lake. Gardenia had to struggle to keep down her instinct to hold her breath as the water finally went over her head and they were fully submerged.

None of them said anything as they walked down the slope, the water around them slowing their movements and making Gardenia feel like she was walking on the Moon. However, she'd walked underwater in deeper depths and with greater pressure, so this wasn't quite as bad…

Although…

She felt _something_ bearing down on her. A presence, an intelligence, something _watching_ her. She couldn't see any Pokémon nearby—which was odd, because according to Wabbaku, this lake was the home of Lucy's tribe and many other Water Pokémon—and yet she was still certain she was being observed. It didn't feel malicious, but nor did it feel benevolent, it just…was.

Equally strange was how the water around her didn't seem entirely like…well, water. She didn't see any bubbles rising up from their motions or stirred up by the dirt they displaced in their footsteps, and the water seemed almost as clear to see through as air…and somehow, she didn't think it was just because of the charms they were wearing. It was almost as if they had entered another world rather than just immersing themselves in the lake.

Maybe they had. It would certainly explain why she felt as if they should have hit the lake bottom by now, and yet they just kept on walking downwards, ever downwards.

Gradually, it became darker and darker, as they left the light of the surface behind and ventured deeper into the depths. Eventually, it became so dark that Gardenia couldn't even see Wabbaku or Alicia, or the way they'd came, but she could still feel the shaman's flipper in her appendage, which was probably the only reason she hadn't completely freaked out already.

And then, suddenly, she couldn't feel even that. "Wabbaku?!" she asked frantically, looking around, not that she could really see anything in this darkness. "Wabbaku? Alicia? Where'd you go?!"

There was no response. Nothing but darkness in every direction.

She started hyperventilating. She must have done something wrong, broken some mystical law, accidentally taken a wrong turn or something like they had been warned not to do while wandering the otherdimensional labyrinth of Aegis Cave, and now she was lost, lost forever in some strange spirit realm with nothing to keep her company but the darkness and her own thoughts until she was driven insane or took off her charm and drowned to death…assuming she could even _die_ in this place, which was and yet was not Waterfall Lake. "Please," she whispered. "Is…is anyone there?"

WE ARE HERE.

A light appeared. Tiny, ephemeral, and yet so welcome in this blackness it might as well have been the Sun for all Gardenia had cared. Another light winked to life a second later, and and another, and another, and within moments there was light all around her, what had to be hundreds of points of light, all staring at her impassively and without bias. "The ancestors…" the Cacturne whispered.

WE SEE YOU, the lights said.

"And…a-and I see you," Gardenia stammered, remembering at the last minute the protocol that had been hammered into her in the days leading up to this. "H-honored spirits, guardians of the Wobberkin and voices of the ancient world, I-I humbly beg your permission to marry the shaman Wabbaku."

WHY SHOULD WE GIVE YOU OUR BLESSING? The ancestors asked.

Gardenia opened her mouth…and froze. She'd spent the last few days memorizing a ritualistic speech prospective shaman's wives were supposed to deliver to the spirits of the ancestors on their wedding day as proof of their commitment to their tribe, their husband, and the spirit world, a speech that was almost poetic in its cadence and choice of words, something the spirits apparently appreciated. However, beneath the unblinking stares of all those spirits, the former shamans and leaders and members of the Wobberkin tribe in their hundreds if not thousands, all silently passing judgment on her, she found, much to her horror, that she could not even remember the first word of that speech. "I-I…"

WHY SHOULD WE GIVE YOU OUR BLESSING? The ancestors asked again.

Gardenia's mind raced. What could she say to them? For that matter, why _should_ they give her their blessing? She wasn't as beautiful and kind as Lucy, or as clever and strong as Alicia, or as wise and magical as Wabbaku. What did she possibly have to offer that Wabbaku could not get from his other wives, or any other womon, for that matter?

As she pondered this, she noticed that some of the lights were dimming, and realized to her horror that the ancestors were losing her patience. If she didn't come up with an answer quickly, they might deem her completely unworthy of Wabbaku's flipper, and leave her here.

And so, in her desperation, she blurted out the first thing that came to her…the only thing that mattered. "Because I love him."

There was a pause. The lights gradually brightened. A humming filled the air, and the lights changed colors rapidly, no doubt deliberating in the strange language of the spirit world, a language Wabbaku could no doubt understand but she could not…not now, anyway. Finally, they regarded her once more and said THAT IS ACCEPTABLE.

And then, they all went dark.

The next thing Gardenia knew, she was bursting from the surface of the lake, gasping for breath and floundering about and squinting due to the brightness of the Sun, so harsh after spending what felt like an eternity in the darkness of that otherworld. As the water drained from her ears, gradually she realized she could hear cheering, and saw that the Pokémon gathered at the shore—so close, it seemed! Surely they'd walked further than that on the lakebed?—were shouting and rejoicing. Even her family was getting into it, though she was sure Cheryl was probably just happy because she'd seen a pretty flower or a leaf had blown by her face in the breeze, she was weird like that. "Did…did I do it?"

"You did," Wabbaku's voice said. She started, nearly going back under in a big splash as she realized that Wobbuffet and Alicia were bobbing in the water next to her, looking very wet and a little tired but with big smiles on their faces. "You earned their blessing."

"We _all_ did," Alicia said.

A smile came to Gardenia's face as well. "I was worried for a minute I wouldn't make it."

"Clearly you did, or else you wouldn't be my wife right now," Wabbaku said in amusement.

"Heh. I guess so," Gardenia admitted. "So…um, what now?"

"Now?" Wabbaku asked as Lucy and a few other members of her tribe dove into the water to swim out to them and help them back to dry land. "Now we feast and celebrate and consummate our union-"

"That'll be fun," Alicia said with a sultry smile that caused Gardenia to blush and splutter.

"And after that…we begin our lives together," the shaman continued.

"…I think I'd like that," Gardenia said. "I'd like that a lot."

As Lucy wrapped her coils around them and started dragging her husband and sister-wives back to shore, escorted by some of her tribesmates, Gardenia reflected that it was highly unlikely her life would ever be the same after this. Why, she might never go back to her old home in Pokémon Square again!

And it didn't bother her one bit. This was her home now, among the Wobberkin. This was where she belonged, with Wabbaku and the rest of his family.

She thanked the spirits for bringing Wabbaku into her life, for, in spite of all the horrible things and near-death experiences they'd had since they met, it had all been worth it for this day. In return, the spirits thanked her for being a loyal companion to Wabbaku on his long and perilous journey far from home, and for helping to bring him back to his people in one piece. They knew she would be a good wife to him, and the tribe's future would be that much brighter thanks to her presence.

And so, as the Sun shone down on the Wobberkin and their allies and relations, we may close the book on the tale of Wabbaku and Gardenia for now. They have earned their happy ending. Perhaps we shall reopen their book another day, or perhaps not. They have already been through enough adventure for one lifetime, so the more mundane adventures of everyday married life will probably be more than enough excitement for them, don't you think? Well, as mundane as being married to a tribal shaman can ever be.

A new day brings new adventure. But for now…

Rest easy, heroes. You have earned it.

…

And it's done. After maybe eight months of work—well, actually four or five, since I spent a whole stretch of time doing nothing—this chapter's finally over, and what a chapter it is.

I'm sorry I took so long, and will try not to do it again. And maybe make shorter chapters, but we all know how unlikely that is, right?

Anyway, if any of you are still reading this after such a long hiatus, thank you for sticking with me, and I hope you can forgive me for taking so long. I want to finish this story, and I'll try my best to see that that happens, no matter how long it takes.

See you next time…whenever that is.


	61. The Gauntlet Has Been Thrown

This chapter took a little longer for me to start up then I would have liked. I blame work, new video games, and my reluctance to actually get cracking and get to work, which I thankfully got over, as you can clearly see by the fact that you're reading this.

And so we have the latest chapter in this epic saga. I have no idea when it's going to end either. I highly doubt it'll be next year. Maybe not even the year after. Jesus, I've been doing this a long time…

Oh well, let's get to it, shall we?

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me. Credit goes to tazkolofthemasteremeralds for helping me create the Berry Kingdom.

…

The day after Leo and Lily's wedding…

Breakfast in the Fantasma household was always an interesting affair, and rarely if ever dull. Like pretty much everything else in the _Chambre de Fantasma,_ conventional wisdom and the laws of physics had been completely thrown out the window when it came to the dining room…namely, in that there wasn't actually a room at _all._ Instead, at every meal the staff randomly chose one of the thousands of other dimensions or planes of existence that could be magically accessed using the many, _many_ doors to other realms littering the household and transported the diners there so that they could eat at leisure while being surrounded by the sights and sounds of a whole other reality without having to worry about being bothered by pesky matters such as hostile natives or a breathable atmosphere thanks to a special membrane that had been devised by Agatha Fantasma—demonstrating once more that Fantina's many daughters had inherited her genius at spellcrafting as well as her looks—that made them invisible and impermeable from the outside, but also basically maintained a pocket of their own world around them, so that the instant any of them crossed the boundary of the membrane they'd find themselves right back in the Fantasma estate, and all one had to do was terminate the spell and they'd all find themselves snapped right back to Fichina, so nobody had to worry about getting stranded in another world. Which would probably be a bad thing, since many of those other worlds were anathema to the kind of matter Pokémon were made up of.

As such, this is why the morning after the wedding, the Fantasmas and their guests—Ash, Tiny, Pikachu, Dawn, the Thunderblades, and the DeKappas—found themselves sitting amiably around a long table hovering over the realm of Muspellheim, elemental plane of fire and home of Fantina's old 'flame' (ha ha) Surtrit. It actually looked a surprising amount like their own world…except for the fact that everything was made of fire. Everything. The hills, the trees, the clouds, the creatures, the buildings, even the _water_ were all made of fire of different colors, burning brilliantly and dancing around the cozy little bubble they were all eating in. When Pikachu had realized that even the _air_ was made of fire, he'd asked how a world made completely out of flames could possibly exist without oxygen to feed it and keep it from suffocating. The Fantasmas had stared at him blankly. He'd grumbled something about 'stupid magic' and went back to enjoying his breakfast, which was actually better than his mother's cooking, not that he'd ever say that, especially not with her in earshot.

The meal itself, which was constantly being replaced with new dishes teleported in from the kitchens to feed the voracious appetites of the guests (mainly Ash, Junior, and the young giant Gibles), was rather difficult to describe, like pretty much any food—or anything else, really—in the Fantasma house was. Some dishes were in colors Ash was sure didn't exist, others all he had to do was smell or _look_ at to feel instantly full, and on one memorable occasion he'd been told to stick it in his ear to properly eat it. That last one had actually been a prank, but he hadn't been very surprised when he was later informed that they sometimes had food that _could_ only be digested by putting it in your ear. Or belly button. Fichina was weird like that.

They'd even managed to find something for Leo's father, much to his astonishment, seeing as how he didn't have a stomach, or even tastebuds. All he had to do was _look_ at the…thing on his plate and he'd feel like he'd eaten a five-course meal. "How is this possible?!" he asked constantly, not taking his unblinking (not that he could, no eyelids) gaze from his dish.

"Magic, dear," Judy said, nonchalantly smashing her face into her plate and rolling it about so that her facial pores could absorb the nutrients of whatever the heck she was eating, because apparently Pokémon stomachs weren't intended to digest it the usual way.

"The answer to everything around here," Pikachu muttered as he poked uncertainly at his breakfast, which he was sure moved every time he took his eyes off it. Would it be too much to ask for some waffles or pancakes that he didn't have to eat by turning his back to it, hopping on one foot, and singing a nursery rhyme to make it instantly vanish and reappear in his belly? (He wasn't entirely certain all those steps had been necessary. It could have been another prank, but he didn't want to risk it.)

Dawn looked down at her fur, which had turned pink with neon green polka dots the instant she'd stuck her fork (at least, she _thought_ it was a fork) in her breakfast. _This is temporary, right? If not, I may need to have words with your chef._

"Don't worry, it'll go back to normal," Morticia assured her.

Dawn sighed in relief. _Good._

"Assuming you eat every last piece of it, zat is," Morticia continued.

Phoebe nodded in agreement. "If you don't, not only will it become permanent, but you'll grow twice your size, sprout a zird eye in a razzer embarrassing place, and one of your feet will be stuck in your mouz forever."

Dawn sighed wearily. _Of course it will._ She stabbed her fork in her meal once more, carefully reading the instructions that had been helpfully included with the plate to make sure she was eating it properly.

"Hey, do you think we could visit Surtrit while we're here?" Tiny asked, having difficulty taking his eyes off the flaming vista below them, which was bad for his stomach because Junior kept trying to steal whatever was on his plate when he wasn't looking. This was often bad for Junior's stomach too, because he kept trying to put it in his mouth, which was apparently not how it was intended to be eaten, which was why he had spontaneously inflated like a balloon, his colors had V, and his face had turned upside down. That didn't stop him from trying to steal from Tiny's plate, naturally. He wasn't very bright.

Fantina shook her head. "I'm afraid not. It's impossible to properly enter 'is realm wizzout ze proper protection. If we tried, we'd be incinerated instantly."

"Same if we let 'im in 'ere," Mirami said. "If ' e's not summoned properly, it can 'ave disastrous consequences."

"Like incinerating instantly?" Tiny asked.

"No, like exploding," Shauntal said.

Tiny gulped. "Ah."

"It probably wouldn't be a good idea to visit 'im, anyway," Fantina said. "'e'd smell ze ice on us from being at ze Yuki'imi place yesterday and be outraged we'd brought traces of 'is least favorite element into 'is realm."

"And then he'd incinerate us?" Tiny asked.

"No, zen 'e'd get into a 'issy fit and not talk to me for several decades, ze prima donna," Fantina said.

"Oh," Tiny said.

"You're taking this whole being surrounded by fire that could evaporate you thing pretty well," Pichu commented to Mizula, who had turned himself into a large blob of water and was consuming his food by wrapping his liquid body around it.

"It's just an illusion, like one of Zachary's pranks," the Phione said. "So long as I don't believe in it, it can't hurt me."

"…Um, actually, this is real. All of it," Pichu said.

Mizula paused. "It is?"

"Yeah. We're really here, in another dimension of pure fire," Pichu said.

Mizula's eyes widened in horror. "Oh. Oh dear." He started quivering like a block of gelatin.

"Relax," Matthias said as he uncertainly prodded his plate with his fork (?), trying to find his food, which was apparently not only ridiculously small but invisible to the naked eye. "If I'm not worried, neither should you be."

"You're not worried at all?" Pichu asked in surprise as Mizula calmed down gradually.

Matthias shrugged. "After all the weird and horrible shit I've seen over the years, now that I actually have a degree of courage it'll take a lot to frighten me, because it's probably not as awful as my childhood. And I realize now that if I could survive _that_, I can survive just about anything."

"Well said, son!" Raiki said proudly. "Both uplifting…and kind of depressing."

"So…why aren't you scared, exactly?" Pikachu asked.

Matthias shrugged. "I'm not exactly fond of magic, but I don't think our hosts would have taken us here if they weren't absolutely certain it'd be safe. And since nobody else seems to be very concerned, I don't see much of a point in wasting energy freaking out when I could spend it trying to figure out how to eat this…whatever it is. It's really delicious. One of the best things I've ever had, actually. What is it, again?"

"Unfortunately, its name is incompre'ensible in our language," Mirami said. "Namely because ze language where it's from is a series of rapid shifts in color."

"Ah," Matthias said.

"What, are the people there Kecleons or something?" Ash asked.

Mirami considered this for a moment. "Yes, if by 'Kecleon' you mean sentient masses of color ze size of entire star systems."

"…Do they look like Kecleons?" Ash asked.

"No," Mirami said.

"So…they aren't actually like Kecleons at all," Ash concluded.

"No, zey're not," Mirami said. Ash grunted.

"Sounds fun. Maybe we should go there for our next meal," Brad commented.

"I wouldn't recommend it if any of you 'ave epilepsy or are prone to seizures," Nefertari said.

The guests looked at each other uncertainly. _I don't think that's a problem for any of us,_ Dawn said.

"Trust me, it would be," Nefertari said grimly.

"Grandma, you've barely touched your plate," Collette noted, frowning at Delia.

"Well, maybe her breakfast is one of the things you can't actually touch to eat otherwise it'll turn you inside out or something?" Sapphire suggested.

"No, zat's what Iggy 'as," Shauntal said. Iggy, who'd been about to grab his meal with his bare hands and stuff it in his mouth, hesitated and slowly drew his claws back.

"Oh. Then why aren't you eating, Grandma?" Sapphire asked.

"I mean no offense to our hosts or their chefs, but I don't trust anything I don't know how to make myself," Delia murmured, eyeing her plate suspiciously.

"I zink zey would take offense at zat, actually," Bow said.

"Oh. Well…it's good they can't hear me, then," Delia said.

Abruptly, her plate vanished. "Actually, zey can," Fantina said.

"Ah," Delia said, face falling. "Er…Raiki, I don't suppose you could spare a bite?"

"Oh, _now_ you want to try some?" the Raichu asked in amusement.

"Raiki, I'm hungry and my head's still pounding from the party last night. Feed me. Now," Delia growled.

Gulping down his current mouthful, Raiki speared a large portion of…whatever he was eating on his fork (?) and held it out to Delia. She opened her mouth to swallow it…

And it disappeared the instant it passed her lips. "Oh, come on!"

"Wow, you must 'ave really upset zem," Morticia said.

"I zink you should apologize. You really 'urt zeir feelings," Phobe said.

Delia sighed. "All right, I get the hint. I'm sorry I insulted your cooking. Could I please have some breakfast now?" There was a pause, and then her plate reappeared…upside down…in the air above her. It fell on top of her head, splattering her. Her eye twitched as everyone stared at her for a moment in astonishment and burst into laughter. "Real classy, guys…"

"Actually, zat's ze way it's supposed to be eaten," Agatha said as the food seeped into Delia's flesh and disappeared. "You should be grateful zey didn't send back a dish zat would curse you if flipped or made contact with flesh."

"Thank goodness for small blessings," Delia grumbled, feeling disturbed and somewhat violated.

Kageie, who had been rather enjoying her breakfast after spending a few minutes trying to figure out what it was and how to eat it, frowned, something occurring to her. She glanced around the table and said, "Aren't we missing someone?"

Ash blinked in puzzlement. "What do you mean?"

"Some of your friends aren't here," the Tyranitar observed.

"Well, Leo and Lily stayed behind at the Yukihimi estate last night for…obvious reasons, so they're having breakfast there," Pikachu said.

"I bet that's not all they're having," Raiki said lewdly.

"Brunch?" Tiny asked innocently.

There was an awkward pause. "Er…yes. Brunch. Let's go with that," Raiki said after a moment.

"And Sasha's not here because after she took off her robes once we got back from the party last night she immediately fell asleep and won't wake up for quite some time," Pikachu continued.

Kageie nodded. "All right. And the sea captain?"

"Briney is…" Pikachu paused, blinked, and looked around in surprise. "Hey, that's right, where is Briney?"

_Maybe he's sleeping off a hangover?_ Dawn suggested.

"I don't think it's actually possible for him to _get_ a hangover, since he's a Steel type," Tiny said, who knew a thing or two about hangovers thanks to his little vice.

"Around 'ere, you can," Mirami said.

Ash frowned in thought. "Come to think of it…I don't think Briney actually came home with us last night, did he?"

"Oh yeah…" Pikachu recalled. "He said he had to go talk to that Smithy guy who made Leo's Masked Rider belt…something which I will never forgive him for…and said we shouldn't wait up for him."

"Oooh, sounds like _someone_ got lucky," Shauntal said lewdly.

"Briney doesn't swing that way. At all," Pikachu said flatly.

"And he's fanatically loyal to his dead wife. He took his wedding vows seriously. He'll never…um…be with another womon again, so long as he lives," Ash said awkwardly, remembering Tiny and some of the other kids were within earshot.

Fantina's daughters sighed wistfully. "More's ze pity…" Bow said.

"Why are ze best ones always unavailable?" Phoebe said, looking meaningfully at Raiki, who spluttered and nearly choked on his food. He and Delia turned red, one with embarrassment and the other with rage. Or maybe it was a side effect of the food. Hard to say.

…_You're into Briney? Why?_ Dawn asked incredulously.

"'e's strong, rugged, experienced, and 'andsome in 'is own way," Nefertari said dreamily. "What womon wouldn't want 'im?"

"NOT ME!" Dawn, Delia, Judy, Collette, and Sapphire all said loudly. When Wendy said nothing, they all looked at her. "What?" the Gible asked, turning red. "I think he's kinda cute."

"…Right. Anyway," Ash said, deciding not to address everything wrong with that statement. "Has anyone seen him since last night?" Everyone at the table shook their heads in uncertainty. Ash frowned. "Then where the heck is he?"

"Right here," said someone who most certainly was not Briney as he abruptly appeared at the table. "Sorry I'm late, evolution takes a lot out of you and I had to sleep in to restore some of my energy. And now I need to eat to restore even more of my energy, which I have much more of than ever before." He frowned at the plate in front of him, already heaped with…something. "That's not gonna be enough." Half a dozen more plates appeared. "Still not enough." Approximately twenty plates appeared. "Eh, it's a start." His eyes—of which he had two—glowed, and the food started lifting off his plate and flying down his rather large, metal fanged jaws. He paused when he noticed everyone staring at him. "What? Is there something on my face?"

There most certainly was something on his face: a giant metallic cross, due to the fact that he was a Metagross. He also had a very impressive (and sharp) metal moustache and a thick beard of metal curls that Santa Christ might have envied if he were a robot or a Steel-type, along with bladed eyebrows that would have been considered bushy if they weren't made of metal rather than hair. A yellow star was welded to his forehead between the upper legs of the metal cross. One of the legs on his left side looked as if it was made of a different material than the rest of his body, with visible hinges and a larger and more powerful-looking claw at the end of it. Studded metal bracers were wrapped around each of his wrists. His metallic hide was covered in nicks, dents, scratches, and all sorts of scars, but still shone with a fine polish. He also wore a pirate captain's hat with gold points like those of a crown growing from the brim.

"…Briney?" Ash asked finally in astonishment.

The Metagross frowned at him. "Well, yeah, who else would I be? Well, except for Smithy. Since I'm him too. So I'm Briney, but I'm also not, if that makes any sense."

"It doesn't," Ash said.

"Figured," Briney grunted.

"I don't get it," Morton complained.

"That's nothing new," Ludwig snickered.

"Wait…did you say Smizzy?! Does zat mean you're Smizzy, too?!" Mirami cried in astonishment.

"That's what I just said, isn't it?" the Metagross said in annoyance.

"I thought you said you were Briney," said a thoroughly lost Ash.

"I am. I'm also Smithy. I'm both," the Metagross said.

"…Uh?" Ash said blankly.

"I'm confused," Tiny said.

The Metagross sighed in exasperation. "Look, when two Beldum fuse together, they become a Metang. When two Metang fuse together, they become a Metagross. Briney and Smithy fused together to make me. As such, I am _both_ Briney and Smithy, and also neither. Something new. And yet not. Simple."

"Ohhhh," Ash said.

"Wait…then you evolved?!" Pikachu cried.

"Uh, yeah? Kind of obvious, isn't it?" Briney said, gesturing at himself.

"When did this happen?!" Pikachu demanded.

"Last night. Obviously. When else would it have happened?" Briney asked drily.

"But…but…you never told us you were going to do this!" Pikachu said helplessly.

Briney blinked. "I didn't?"

"No!" Pikachu said.

"Oh. Sorry," Briney said. Pikachu facepalmed.

"Wait, wait, wait. Back up. You evolved?" Ash asked.

Briney gave him an exasperated look. "Are you going to keep asking me the obvious all day? Yes, I did."

"By fusing with another Metang," Ash continued.

"Yes. As I said a moment ago," Briney said, getting irritated.

"And…he was okay with this?" Ash asked.

Briney gave him a confused look. "Why wouldn't he be?"

"Well, um…it just sounds…er…like…a very, very big decision to make. Completely life-altering," Ash said awkwardly.

"Well, considering he was going to _die_ if he didn't evolve with me, I'd say it was," Briney said.

"He was going to die?" Tiny asked in astonishment.

Fantina nodded. "Smizzy was struggling for years wiz a disease endemic to Steel-types called Cancerrust. It would 'ave eventually killed 'im, despite ze best treatments of modern magical medicine. Evolving is one of ze only ways 'e could 'ave possibly gotten rid of it."

"What, you couldn't just magic it away?" Delia asked.

Fantina smiled sadly. "As I'm sure your son can tell you, magic can't fix everyzing." Ash grimaced at that uncomfortable reminder.

"It certainly can't," Misty said cheerfully, eyeing his plate hungrily. "You gonna eat that?"

"_Can_ you?" he muttered under his breath.

"I have no idea, but I'm willing to try," she said.

"So you combined with him to save his life…by ending it…and turning it into something else? That's very noble…I think…" Raiki said uncertainly.

"Well, there were other factors involved too," Briney said. "Like the fact that I became exponentially stronger. So strong, in fact, that I can now read all of your minds again. Even the ones with mental wards up that should keep me from reading their minds. Even the ones whose minds can't normally be read by Psychic-types."

"WHAT?" everyone screamed in horror, especially the Fantasmas, who had a number of things in their heads that they weren't exactly comfortable with anyone knowing. At all. Ever. Both state secrets and mysteries of their craft and more…personal information.

"You've been reading our minds?!" Delia cried, horrified by the violation of privacy.

"Lousy Psychics," Matthias grunted.

"Not cool, mon!" Pichu yelled.

"I didn't know my mind _could_ be read," said a surprised Brad. "You know, since I'm a skull in a robot body animated by necromancy and all."

"Wait, what? Can he see me, then?" Misty wondered in surprise. "I don't think even Lugia was able to hear me before…then again, he's not nearly as intrusive as Briney is…"

"But…I'm a Dark-type! My mind can't be read!" Kageie protested.

"Actually, if a Psychic-type uses Miracle Eye first, they can," Collette corrected her. "Which…isn't what's going on here, I think."

"No, it's not," Briney agreed. "The magical ability I've picked up by fusing with Smithy has augmented my Psychic powers so pesky limitations like that don't bother me anymore. But don't worry, ol' Briney knows when to keep a secret. Unless it amuses him not to. Of course, I'm not exactly Briney anymore, so…" he said cheerfully as he shoveled more food down his gullet.

"Zis…zis is 'orrible!" whispered a shocked Agatha.

"Zen…does zat mean you know about-?" Phoebe asked.

"Yes," Briney said.

"And 'ow I like to-"

"Yes."

"Wiz ze-?"

"Yes," Briney said. The Ghost turned very, very red. "If you think that's embarrassing, though, you should see what Morton does when he thinks nobody is looking."

Everyone turned to look at Morton, who had at that moment been trying to pick his nose with his tongue. "What?" he asked awkwardly.

"I…zink we're going to need to work on strengzening our wards later, Mama," Mirami said anxiously.

"Won't work," Briney said. "Especially not if you try what you're thinking of."

The Sableye shot him an angry look. "I don't suppose you'd be willing to tell us somezing zat _might_ work, zen?" Bow asked, fluttering her eyelashes flirtatiously at him, something that turned most mons (and quite a few womons) to goo in seconds. Not literally, thankfully. Though she did have a spell for that.

Briney was not most mons. "Nope," he said, finishing the last of his plates. "Still hungry. More, please." Another couple of dozen plates laden with food materialized in front of him. "Thanks." He started digging in again. The Gibles and Junior, who'd all already had close to ten dishes each, stared at him in awe.

"Don't worry, I highly doubt Briney's going to make any of the things he's found out about you public unless he feels like embarrassing you," Pikachu said wearily.

"…So…we should be scared for our reputations and images, zen?" Shauntal asked nervously.

Pikachu thought about this for a moment. "Yeah, that sounds about right." The Ghosts exchanged worried looks.

Tiny sighed. "And I was just getting used to the Captain not constantly prying in our heads, too…wait, then does that mean…"

"Yeah, I know about that, but I'll let you tell them on your own time," Briney said. Tiny sighed in relief. Ash gave him a questioning look, but the Pupitar just shook his head, not ready to talk about it.

Dawn frowned. _Wait…can you…read _my_ mind now?_

"Yes," Briney lied. He actually still couldn't read the minds of Dark-types or those with Dark-type attributes despite what he'd just said, but he saw no reason to tell anyone that. Why spoil his fun?

Dawn rose from her seat, materializing several ice blades. _Then by ninja law I must kill you to keep the secrets you have stolen._

"Heh, I'd like to see you try," Briney said in amusement, not even looking up from his latest dish.

Bristling, Dawn was about to step forward to do just that when Pikachu held out a paw. "Dawn, not at the table."

_But Master-_ Dawn protested.

"Dawn, Briney is one of us, you can't kill him," Pikachu said, not voicing that he wasn't sure the Buneary could. A chuckle from the Metagross indicated Briney'd sensed that, much to his chagrin. "While I know you're probably supposed to kill him because of whatever he's learned that he's not supposed to, Briney isn't Leo, and he's not going to leak it all onto the Internet if he thinks it'll be cool."

"That's right, your secrets are safe with me," Briney said. "Even the stuff you aren't telling Pikachu."

Pikachu blinked in surprise and glanced at Dawn. "What? What haven't you told-"

_BRINEY!_ Dawn roared.

"SO!" Ash shouted desperately, trying to change the subject. "Briney! You're both the Captain we know and…tolerate, and this…Smithy guy we don't know very well now, right?"

"Yeah, that's pretty much it," Briney said while Pikachu struggled to get Dawn back in her seat and calm her down.

"So…how's that work, exactly?" Ash asked. "Is one of you dominant, or…"

"It doesn't work like that," Briney said. "There aren't two minds in one body. Well, technically it's four brains, but I digress. When we evolved, we…synthesized. Briney and Smithy became one, the inverse of what happens when Nincada evolve into Ninjask and Shedinja. I have the memories and personalities and powers of both of them. I am me, and I am them."

"Then Briney is…dead?" Tiny whispered.

"No, I am Briney. And Smithy. I'm still here," Briney insisted. "Just…not the way you might remember me. I've evolved. I guess that's the best way I can put it."

"Then…what should we call you, exactly?" asked Ash while Pikachu said soothing words to Dawn and stroked her ears in the way she liked that he didn't usually do in public, very aware that his little brother and parents and nephew and nieces and Leo's siblings were watching and snickering. "Since you're not quite Briney or Smithy?"

"Brithy? Sminey?" Junior suggested.

"Eh, it doesn't really matter what you call me," the Metagross said. "But you can call me Briney if it'll make the transition easier to you, though around my—er, Smithy's old colleagues, I'll be Smithy."

"I guess that would work," Ash said.

"Good," Briney said. "Now that that's settled…" He frowned when he saw he had finished all his dishes again. "More, please." A third massive helping of food materialized before him. "There we go." He resumed eating with a flourish.

"Wait, wait, we're not doing anything about this?!" Delia asked.

"About what?" Raiki asked.

"He's been reading all our minds! Without permission! And has no intention of stopping!" Delia pointed out.

"Got that right," Briney said while slurping down…something.

"What's more, he's been traveling with our children all this time and reading _their_ minds without permission!" Delia continued. "And we're not going to _do_ anything about this?!"

"Zere…isn't really anyzing we _can_ do," Fantina said weakly. "Before our spells were able to keep him from reading everyone's minds, but now zat 'e 'as Smizzy's magic and formidable mental powers combined wiz 'is own, I don't zink zere's anyzing we can do about it."

"It's a good thing I'm not a perverted sicko or evil bastard or I could totally be doing all sorts of horrible things to your heads right now and there'd be almost nothing you could do to stop me," Briney said cheerfully, which did not alleviate their concerns in the slightest. "On the plus side, there _are_ perverted sickos or evil bastards who would be perfectly happy doing all sorts of horrible things to your heads and the heads of your children, but so long as I'm with them, they won't be able to do that now. I think I might even have a shot at repelling Oblivion's Shadow's Psychic attacks."

Ash's head snapped around to look at the Metagross. "You think so?"

"Well, I'm a heck of a lot stronger now. I think I've got a pretty good chance of it," Briney said. "Certainly won't hurt the next time we run into him."

Ash made a face. "Yeah…"

"Next time, he might have to worry more about you losing your mind than stopping Oblivion's Shadow," Misty said cheerfully. "On the other hand, he might be powerful enough to actually kill you if you go into Void form now, so I guess either way it's a win-win for me."

_I…suppose that's a useful tactical advantage,_ Dawn said, still somewhat miffed Briney had seen into her head (only not really), but since Pikachu was playing footsies with her under the table at the moment it was hard to remember to stay angry at him right then.

"I'm sorry, but I'm just not comfortable with having someone that strong and…and flippant of social mores around our children!" Delia said, putting her hands over Pichu and Matthias's heads as if to shield them from the Psychic's mind probes, which it didn't. Mizula frowned, feeling somewhat left out.

"Me neither," Kageie said.

"I'm fine with it," Judy said. When the other parents gawked at her she said, "What? He's traveled with them _this_ long and hasn't done anything to them, so it's unlikely he'll do anything now rather than occasionally embarrassing them. Plus, as far as I know you didn't object when he joined their group in the first place, so it seems a little hypocritical to be complaining about it now just because he's reading _your_ mind, too."

"She has a point, dear," Raiki said.

"You're supposed to be on my side!" the Raichu hissed.

"Plus, he has a very trustworthy mustache. You can't go wrong relying on someone with facial hair like that," Brad said.

"…It _is_ a very nice mustache…" Delia admitted. "And a beard now, too…"

"Scotty would be very jealous," Raiki said in amusement.

Briney sighed. "If I gave you my solemn oath as a mon of the sea and the forge that I won't abuse my absolute mental powers around your kids other than to rile them up a little now and then, will that make you feel better?"

"You can't promise just to stay out of their minds altogether?" Kageie asked skeptically.

"No," Briney said flatly.

"Why not?" Delia asked.

"How else am I supposed to know if some bad guy's trying to probe around the insides of their heads if I'm not there already to stop them?" Briney asked.

"…He's got a point there," Raiki admitted.

"Has that actually happened yet?" Kageie asked.

"No, but it might. I mean, Oblivion's Shadow has psychic powers and all," Briney pointed out. "Plus, it seems like just about all of us is talking to SOMEONE inside their heads occasionally, so you might as well have someone trustworthy there too to monitor their conversations. Like parental controls on your kids' web browsing."

"…I _suppose_ that's fair…" Delia admitted reluctantly.

"Wait…parental controls? Mom, have you and Dad been keeping tabs on what I've been looking at online?!" Pichu asked in horror.

"Yes dear, and I'm not sure you should be getting so familiar with some of those people you've been chatting with. You have no way of knowing if they're actually who they say they are or if they're really some sort of forty-year old sexual predator," Delia said sweetly.

"Moooom," Pichu groaned as the other children started snickering.

"I rest my case," Briney said smugly.

"You _do_ realize that these two things aren't that similar, right?" Pikachu asked.

"Hush boy, I'm winning your parents over," he grunted. "So, that good enough for you folks?"

Delia sighed. "Well, in lieu of a better option—or a way to make you stop—I guess it's the best we can hope for. It'll have to do."

"Good. Glad that's settled so we can get back to eating," Briney said. "And don't worry, the minds of your kids and their friends are in safe hands. Namely, mine."

"Why am I not reassured?" Kageie grumbled.

"Don't worry, we'll find a way to block 'im out again," Bow's voice whispered in Kageie's ear even though she was several chairs away, carried on the wind by the Drifblim's mastery of air magic.

"No you won't, especially not the way you're thinking of," Briney said without looking up.

"_Merde!"_ Bow swore in frustration.

"So…Captain Briney? You said you can do magic now, since you fused with Smithy and all?" Collette asked.

"Yep. I know everything he knew about magic and blacksmithing, which, let me tell you, is quite a lot," Briney bragged.

"Can you show us a trick?" Sapphire asked eagerly.

"Ooh, I wanna see!" Tiny said eagerly.

"Us too! Us too!" the Gibles chanted.

Morticia frowned. "What, our magic isn't good enough for you?"

"We've seen lots of magic from you, but none from Briney!" Junior said giddily. Morticia grunted, not quite pleased with this.

"Oh, very well." Briney telekinetically swept some of his plates out of the way, though he still kept hold of a plate in one hand and kept shoving whatever was on it into his mouth with a second hand, so he still had two claws free. He telekinetically arranged his many, many pieces of silverware in a neat row with their various tines and splines and slots and other protrusions nicely interlocking. Then, he pulled off his hat and reached inside with his free hand, sticking it in all the way up to his shoulder even though his hat shouldn't have been big enough to accommodate it; while he finished off the plate he was eating, grabbed another, and stared scarfing down that one. Truly he was a master of multitasking. After a moment he pulled out an absolutely massive hammer with a head about the size of his own and a handle twice as long as one of his legs that could not possibly have fit inside the hat. The head was made of a dull black metal with various runes carved into its surface, with similar runes running down the side of the handle.

"Ooooh," the kids all said in awe.

"What is he, Leo now?" Pikachu grumbled.

"Briney with magic…why am I suddenly concerned for my safety?" Ash muttered.

"You should be, since it'll be that much easier for him to kill you," Misty said.

"Wait, what's he doing with that?" Raiki asked in confusion as Briney grabbed the handle in both hands and lifted it high into the air.

Fantina's eyes widened in horror and she surged out of her chair. "Not at ze table, not at ze-"

With a cry, Briney swung the hammer down on the silverware, causing a blinding flash of light on impact. It also split the table in two and catapulted all their dishes into the air, causing them to yelp and duck for cover to keep from getting hit by anything that might turn them into a Politoed. Fortunately, the chefs were on the ball as always and the plates and the substances on them were quickly teleported out of the way before they could hit anyone.

And as for the silverware…

Putting down the hammer—which leaned against thin air, even though there was nothing to keep it from falling—with one hand Briney lifted the gargantuan zweihander now lying in the splintered wreck of the kitchen table and looked at it appraisingly. It was almost three times as long as Kageie was tall and about as wide as her tail, had a thick blade that was a darkish-green hue with glowing blue runes and the faces of roaring monsters chiseled into it, several extra barbed points growing from the tip, and a large jagged notch cut into the tip causing it to somewhat resemble a fanged mouth, and a big bright blue jewel set in the hilt. "Hmm. Not my best work, but it'll suffice. Tiny, this is yours when you're old enough to use it, by which I mean when you have two arms."

"Wooooooowwwww!" the kids and most of the adults said in awe.

"My table!" Fantina cried. "It belonged to my mozzer!"

"Mozzer, we can fix it," Mirami pointed out.

"And it wouldn't be ze first time it broke," Nefertari said.

"It's ze principle of ze matter!" Fantina sobbed.

"Whoa, that's my sword?!" Tiny asked excitedly.

"…Should he be using something that big?!" Ash asked incredulously.

"Well, once he evolves it'll be around the same size he is…" Pikachu said dubiously.

_Wait, didn't we already get Tiny a sword from Barbedo's hoard?_ Dawn asked.

"We left that back in Treasure Town because we couldn't exactly drag it along with us," Pikachu reminded her.

"And besides, this one's better. Because I made it. Oh, and it's enchanted and stuff," Briney said.

"Ooooh," Tiny said, eyes going wide.

"What?! But I was making a sword for him!" Raiki protested.

"Yes, but Tiny'll probably evolve while we're out fighting the Nihilators or some other baddie, and you'll be back in Pokémon Square, so wouldn't it be better for him to have a sword handy when that happens rather than wait until the next time he sees you again?" Briney pointed out.

Raiki hesitated. "Well, yeah, when you put it that way…"

"Now hold on a moment, I still didn't give my okay for my son to have a sword in the first place!" Kageie protested. "Or to go to Mars!"

"But mom, I'm a Thunderblade now!" Tiny protested. "And every Thunderblade has to use a sword!"

"Except me," Junior grumbled.

Delia nodded. "He's right, it's the rule."

"But-but-" Kageie protested.

"Pleeeeeeeease?" Tiny asked, eyes wide and glistening hopefully.

Under those puppy-Growlithe eyes, Kageie didn't stand a chance. "Ugh…fine. But you can't use it until you're old enough to wield it properly, okay?"

"Okay!" Tiny said eagerly.

_At the rate we're going, that shouldn't be far off from now,_ Dawn commented. Pikachu nodded in agreement.

Raiki sighed. "It is a nice sword…still, I would have liked to give Tiny something I made myself…"

"You could pay for it, and then technically it'd be a gift from you to him," Briney said.

"I'm not giving you money for a gift you were already intending to give Tiny on your own," Raiki said. He shrugged. "Oh well, I'll just have to give the sword I'm working on to Kageie instead."

The Tyranitar started. "Wait, what?!"

"That was a pretty awesome trick, Captain!" Collette said as Briney somehow stuffed the giant sword he'd just made into his hat.

"Can you make weapons for all of us?" Junior asked hopefully.

"Or us! Or us!" the Gibles chanted.

"NO!" Brad and Judy shouted in horror.

"I'd love to, kids, but I'm not sure your parents would like it. Plus, I think I've ruined enough of Fantina's furniture and silverware for one day," Briney said, glancing at the sobbing Mismagius, who was being awkwardly comforted by her daughters. "Hmm…I can fix this." He grabbed his hammer, rose into the air, and, ignoring the screaming protests of everyone else, brought it down on the broken table. There was a flash of light…

And the table was miraculously restored back to its original condition, as if it had never been broken at all. Fantina squealed with delight. "My table!" Launching herself at the piece of furniture, she started kissing and stroking it excitedly, much to the embarrassment of her daughters.

"How did you do that?" asked an impressed Raiki.

"Magic!" Briney said. Pikachu groaned. Rolling his eyes, Briney elaborated. "In my hands, this here hammer has the power to not only repair just about anything with a single swing, but can also craft practically anything I want out of any materials available. In fact, I could probably have made this table into a dozen chairs or a totem pole or a ballista or even a giant digeridoo if I felt like it, but I doubt Fantina would have appreciated it very much."

"No, I wouldn't 'ave!" Fantina said, glancing up and shooting Briney a furious glare. "Never do zat again, especially not at ze dinner table! Or at least, not wizzout warning me first!"

"I'll try to keep that in mind," Briney said, putting his hammer back into his hat and replacing his hat on its rightful place on his head, ignoring whether or not it was impolite to wear a hat to breakfast.

"How did you make a sword that big if there was less metal in the silverware than there should have been to create something of that size?" Pikachu asked.

"Magic," Briney said.

Pikachu sighed. "Ah. Of course."

As more food materialized in front of them to replace the dishes that had been lost in Briney's impromptu blacksmithing session, a piece of paper appeared before Fantina in a burst of flame. She glanced at it, and after a moment her face lit up. Dismissing the paper in another burst of flame, she said, "Everyone, I 'ave wonderful news! Leo and Lily 'ave just arrived at ze _Chambre de Fantasma _and will be joining us shortly!"

Team Aurabolt perked up at this. "Oh boy! I can't wait to see them again!" Tiny said eagerly. "I hope they enjoyed their wedding night!"

"So do I," Pikachu said, though he probably had different ideas about that enjoyment than Tiny.

Ash frowned. "Why didn't they have breakfast at their place?"

Fantina flushed. "Well, ah…according to ze note, zeir 'ome isn't exactly in any condition to 'ave a suitable breakfast in at ze moment. Zey were extremely…er…_enzusiastic_ in how zey…ah…_celebrated_ zeir marriage."

"Wow, they must have played some really intense games," Tiny said innocently as his father and Pikachu turned green and Briney burst into raucous laughter.

"That's my boy!" Brad said happily. "The wife and I trashed our honeymoon suite too on our wedding night!"

"Dear, not in front of the children!" Judy said, blushing.

"Did you play some intense games, New Mama?" Wendy asked innocently.

"…Something like that, yes dear," Judy said, her blush deepening.

"And they're more intense than ever thanks to this new robot body!" Brad boasted, much to Judy's horror and embarrassment. "It's _fully_ functional in every way that matters. Well, except for the lack of a digestive tract. Yet another thing to thank Leo for. Such a thoughtful son."

"Dear!" the Torkoal hissed.

"…They can make machines capable of doing that?" Raiki asked in wonder, staring at Brad's body.

"Honey…" Delia said warningly.

"What? It's an honest question!" Raiki said Mareepishly.

"Yes, zey can," Morticia said.

"We know from experience!" Phoebe said. The Fantasma girls tittered, while many of the table's other occupants turned red.

"Wonder if it's anything like the 'games' Mom and Dad play when they think we're asleep," Pichu murmured to Matthias, who groaned and shook his head.

"At least it's not as bad as having to listen to some of my family doing it…often while lying right on top of me…" the Rattata murmured, a haunted look on his face. "The…fluids got everywhere…my eyes, my ears, my nose…my mouth…"

"…Ew," Pichu said in disgust.

"That sounds very unpleasant," Mizula agreed.

"What does?" Junior asked innocently.

"Just another horror story from my childhood," Matthias said morosely.

"Oh, that again," the Donphan said, sticking out his tongue.

"Junior!" Collette hissed.

"What? I don't like hearing about his childhood! It's scary and depressing!" Junior complained.

"I don't like thinking about it," Matthias admitted. "Which is why it's nice to have so many happy new memories to take their place," he said, smiling at Collette. The Togetic blushed and looked away.

"Anyway, since it'll take a few 'ours to repair and Lily's too…ah…exhausted from ze previous night's…and most of ze morning's…_activities_ to fix ze manor 'erself, zey decided to come and join us for breakfast instead," Fantina said.

"Ooh, 'ow wonderful! I 'ope she and Leo had a lovely night to zemselves!" Agatha said.

"Yes, and we can find out later…'opefully wizzout any children present…if any of ze advice we gave 'er on 'ow to please a mon was 'elpful!" Bow said. The Ghost girls tittered.

A few minutes later, Leo and Lily arrived. From Fantina's vague description of their…activities, Ash had half-expected them to show up thoroughly disheveled and perhaps a little burnt and bruised (hey, a fire mage was involved, who knows what sorts of things she could do?), but the newly married couple had taken the time to freshen up before coming over, so they looked like they would on every other day, except for the bags under their eyes and the almost palpable glow of joy and happiness radiating from them. Literally in Lily's case thanks to magic, she was practically luminescent. Actually, Leo seemed to be glowing too, either due to some lingering spell cast by Lily, something done by Choc-Oboh, or possibly a side-effect of any one of Leo's…toys that nobody wanted to think about too much. "Hey guys. 'Sup," Leo said with a yawn in a raspy voice. Ash did not want to think about how he might have worn it out.

"Hello, everyone," Lily said with a tired but content smile and a rather hoarse voice. Ash did not want to think about how she might have worn it out, either.

_Hi,_ B and Choc-Oboh said to those who could hear them.

"Hello," everyone said in return, gratified to see the newlyweds.

"How are you all this fine morning?" Lily asked.

"Wonderful. And yourself?" Fantina asked pryingly.

Lily's smile broadened. "Better than I've ever felt in my entire unlife."

"Best. Night. Ever," Leo said with another yawn. "But right now I need coffee, and lots of it, or else I'm gonna pass out." Instantly, a steaming mug about twice the size of his head appeared in one hand. Without batting an eye, he started guzzling it down. He wiped a coffee mustache off his upper lip with a contented sigh and plopped himself down in a seat that magically (literally) appeared behind him and pulled himself up to the table. "Ahhhh, that's a good cup o' joe."

"Who's Joe, and why did you drink a cup of him?" Drakor Junior asked.

"Heck if I know," Leo said with a shrug. He paused, noticing Briney's new look. "Huh. Briney, you evolved."

"That I did," the Metagross said.

"Cool," Leo said.

Pikachu raised an eyebrow. "That's all you've got to say about the matter? 'Cool?'"

"Well, I think his new look suits him very well, if that helps," Lily offered.

"Thanks," Briney said.

"I'm a little too worn out from the night I've just had to muster much surprise. I need more coffee before I can do that," Leo said. His cup refilled itself. "Nice. And some breakfast." Plates laden with food appeared in front of him. "Now we're talking."

Lily moaned in ecstasy when her own breakfast appeared before her. "Ohhhh, I need this. I'm _starving_."

"Heh, after the night we had—and morning—I wouldn't blame you," Leo said. They both chuckled in amusement and started stuffing their faces, while everyone else exchanged curious looks.

"So, son…how's it feel to be a real mon now?" Brad asked coyly.

"Wasn't he already a real mon?" Ludwig asked.

"Well, more of one now," Brad admitted.

"Awesome," Leo said tiredly.

"And Lily, did, ah, any of zose zings we talked about…?" Bow prompted.

Lily considered for a moment. "Leo, would you say what I did last night pleased you?"

_I can say without a doubt that it did,_ B said.

"YES. HELL YES," Leo said. "And—so long as it's okay with you-we are going to do it every night for the rest of our lives, which, since I'm going to become immortal, will be forever or something."

_Which I am starting to regret,_ Choc-Oboh said.

"I'd say that answers that question," Lily said to the Fantasmas with a straight face, causing them to giggle. "And yes, Leo, I am okay with it."

"Awesome," he mumbled around a very full mouth.

_I'm not,_ Choc-Oboh said.

_You don't get a say in it, _B said.

_I'm sharing his body, doesn't that count for anything?_ The phoenix complained.

"So, uh, I take it you guys had a good night," Ash said awkwardly.

"We consummated our marriage properly," Lily said dreamily.

"And then some," Leo said with a grin.

_And _then_ some,_ B said in amusement.

_And how I wish they hadn't…_ Choc-Oboh said with a shudder.

"Ah," Ash said, blanching.

"Ew," Misty said.

_I take it you're no longer…ah…averse to the act anymore, then?_ Dawn asked.

"The only reason I haven't slammed Leo onto the table so we could engage in another fifty-seven hours of making him scream my name and 'yatta' until his vocal cords collapsed is because we're both hungry, tired, and I think his body might give out on him if we tried something that intense again so soon," Lily said very matter-of-factly. Everyone stared at her with very wide eyes.

_Ah,_ Dawn said vaguely.

"I did not need to know that," Pikachu said weakly.

"Of course, thanks to Choc-Oboh I'd pop right back to life a second later," Leo commented. "And I think there's worse ways to go than that. Much, much, _much_ worse ways."

"…Damn," Raiki said, eyes wide.

"And _another_ reason you wouldn't do that on the table, other than it being incredibly inappropriate, is because it would set a poor example for the children, _right?_" Delia asked icily.

"Why did you spend fifty-seven hours making him scream? That doesn't sound very nice," Iggy asked innocently to underline this point. Everyone pretended he hadn't said anything.

Leo blinked. "Huh? Oh yeah, they're not old enough for that kind of show, are they. Sorry, forgot they were there. It's a little hard right now to focus on anything other than the absolutely gorgeous and incredible womon sitting right next to me who can do all sorts of incredible things with her-"

"TMI! TMI! TMI!" Ash screamed like a child.

"Oh, right. Sorry. Forgot we shouldn't be talking about that sort of thing outside the bedroom," Leo said.

"_I_ wouldn't mind 'earing more about it…" said an aroused Phoebe.

"Maybe later, when zere are less prudish guests around?" Agatha suggested. Delia glared at her.

"Why do adults always gotta keep all the most interesting stuff from us? _I_ wanna know what they did in the bedroom," Junior complained.

"No you don't," Matthias said from experience.

"Yes, you don't, you really don't," Briney said, looking disturbed. "There are few times I regret being an incessantly nosy snoop who constantly peeks into other people's minds and this is one of them. I did not need to see that."

"Wait a minute; did you say fifty-seven hours?" Pikachu asked in confusion, suddenly realizing something Lily had said a moment ago.

"Fifty-seven hours, forty-two minutes, and seventeen seconds. I timed it exactly," Leo said without looking up from his plate.

_The longest fifty-seven hours, forty-two minutes, and seventeen seconds of my life,_ Choc-Oboh said. _I'm starting to realize there are drawbacks to being bonded to a mortal host. I know every dating sim in existence, even the X-rated ones, and they STILL managed to do things I've never even imagined._

_I didn't think it was so bad,_ B said. _My parents have done it for much longer, and with even greater…intensity. There was just as much love in either of them, though, and it was just as sweet…and delicious. I'm glad Lily took advice from the Fantasmas as well as from me; she did great for her first time! That doesn't always happen._

_And her second time. And third time. And fourth time. And fifth time. And seventy-eighth time. I lost track after that._ Choc-Oboh moaned.

_I didn't. I can't wait for number three hundred and ninety-two!_ B said, causing Choc-Oboh to groan in dismay.

"…Wow," said a stunned Brad. "I did not know he had it in him."

"Neither did I," said a shocked Judy.

Lily giggled. "He wanted to see if we could break the world record. Unfortunately, we couldn't quite make it."

"Yes! Still world champion!" Bow Murkrowed.

"That's something to be proud of?" Kageie asked in confusion.

"It is for a Mewrian," the Drifblim said.

"Ah," the Tyranitar said, still confused. She did _not_ understand civilized Pokémon at all.

"I half-expected that title to go to you, Fantina," Brad commented.

"It used to," Fantina admitted. "But my daughters constantly surprise me in 'ow zey find ways to surpass zeir dear old Mama." Her children giggled at that.

"…But…but it hasn't even been that long since the last time we saw you!" Pikachu protested. "Not even twenty-four hours! Heck, it's barely even been _twelve!_"

"I think there was some sorta time magic involved," Leo said. "Lily was throwing so many spells around in her throes of passion it wouldn't surprise me. Things got a little kray-kray for a while there."

"Kray-kray?" asked the confused Ash.

"Crazy," Pichu, who was secretly a fan of terrible reality television because he liked to make fun of how stupid the people on the show were, translated.

"Oh," Ash said.

"I hope the staff don't mind the mess we left behind…melting one of the wings into a puddle of water is the _least_ of what we left for them to deal with," Lily said, blushing.

_This is much, much more than I ever needed to know,_ Dawn said in horrified fascination.

"Yeah," Pikachu said vaguely, surprised to find himself marginally envious of Leo. He and Dawn had never managed something like _that._

"Hey Ash, now that I'm no longer the team's designated virgin—you know, nerd and all—maybe I can give you a few pointers for when you and Misty finally-" Leo started.

"THAT WILL NOT BE NECESSARY THANK YOU VERY MUCH," Ash said very loudly, desperately wishing that this was not happening to him in front of his parents and siblings and children who were divided between struggling not to laugh and wondering what in the Abyss everyone was talking about.

Misty snorted. "Please, you'd never get past first base with me. You were barely even comfortable with kissing back when we were together before."

"Is this _really_ something we should be discussing at the breakfast table?!" Ash hissed indignantly.

Tiny whistled. "Wow. Fifty-seven plus hours, huh? That is a LOT of sex."

"Yes, it was," Leo said fondly. There was a pause. He blinked and did a double-take. Then he drank some more coffee and spat it out in Pikachu's face. "Wait, WHAT?!"

"MY EYES! MY EYES!" Pikachu screamed.

_Master!_ Dawn cried in alarm, rising to her feet. _Don't worry, I shall avenge you!_

"Don't avenge me, HELP ME!" Pikachu screamed, and Dawn reluctantly abandoned her quest for vengeance to help wipe the coffee out of her master's face.

Nearly everyone at the table did a double-take and spat up whatever they were eating or drinking. Except for Briney, who'd already known, of course, and the children too young to know what he was talking about. Tiny turned red when he realized what he'd just said. "Ah, crud. Shouldn't have said that."

"W-wait a minute…Tiny, you _know?!_" Ash asked incredulously.

Tiny sighed, aware the jig was up. "Dad, we've been staying with a family of Mewrians for the past week. It was kinda inevitable I'd find out sooner or later."

"…Good point," Ash said.

Fantina blushed and glanced at her daughters. "It looks like we did not do as good a job of child-proofing ze place as I zought we did."

"Sorry, Mama," the daughters chorused Mareepishly.

"Huh. Well, I guess that saves either of us from having to tell him, Ash," Kageie said, a little miffed and a lot relieved that she couldn't give her son the same talk her mother had when she was Tiny's age. "When were you going to get around to doing it, anyway?"

"Uh, well…" Ash said, turning red.

"He was actually planning on foisting the job off on either me or Leo," Briney said.

"Briney!" Ash hissed.

"Ha! You're such a pussy!" Misty laughed.

"Giving someone else the responsibility of 'the Talk?' Very immature, son," Raiki scolded.

"Dad, you sent me to Nurse Joy for sex ed rather than telling me about it yourself," Pikachu said, eyes still red and squinting from the coffee burns.

"…Yes. Well. She can explain it much better than me," Raiki said defensively. "She's a licensed medical practitioner and all."

_You were going to let _Leo_ do it?_ Dawn asked Ash incredulously.

"He made a very educational multimedia presentation about it," Ash said, completely and thoroughly humiliated. "I certainly learned a lot from it."

"I'll _bet_ you did," Misty sneered.

"That's right, I did!" Leo said. "Though since it's too late for Tiny, I guess I can save it for my siblings, or your other kids." He paused and glanced at his siblings, who were staring at him in puzzlement and interest. "On second thought, maybe just your other kids."

"Actually, Junior's the only one of us who doesn't know about it," Sapphire said.

"Know about what?" Junior asked in confusion.

"What! When did you two find out about it?!" Ash asked incredulously.

"Mimi told us. In great detail," Collette said. A haunted look crossed over her face. "So much detail…"

"And how did _she_ know about it so soon?" Pikachu asked.

"Her mom pops out new babies all the time and she wanted to know where her sisters come from, since she wants to be a mother too someday," Pichu said. "And Nurse Joy, being a medical practitioner and mother to more medical practitioners, saw no reason why her daughter shouldn't know about some of the more delicate aspects of biology and reproduction as soon as she was ready to ask. She then spread the information around to everyone who wanted to know. And others, like myself, who didn't. Or rather, I thought I did, until I found out, and now I wish I did not."

"I've known about it ever since my fifth cousin six times removed Minnie did it with her uncle Louis right on top of me," Matthias said.

"…Why…why were they…" a shocked Raiki asked.

"My family was a little messed up, in case you haven't noticed," Matthias said.

"I have always known about it since that information was encoded in my cellular structure, along with knowledge about pretty much everything under the sea, while I was still in the egg," Mizula said. "It's not a big deal for my kind, though, since my father either laid new Phione eggs on his own or we reproduced asexually, though we _could_ theoretically reproduce by mating with another Pokémon of any gender due to our hermaphroditism, if we felt like it."

"…Wait, your _father_ laid you?!" Judy cried incredulously.

"Well, yes. Males of the Horsea line do as well. Is it that much of a surprise?" Mizula asked.

"Yes, but your father wasn't a Horsea," Brad pointed out.

"Actually, his DNA is a synthesis of the genetic material of almost every Water Pokémon, so there's probably some Horsea in there somewhere," Mizula said.

"Oh," Brad said.

"What are you all talking about and why am I the only one who doesn't know about it?!" Junior demanded.

"We don't know either!" Iggy said.

"You don't count!" Junior said. The Gible pouted.

_Tiny, if you knew about…that all this time, why did you play dumb?_ Dawn asked.

"Because it was hilarious watching you all go out of your way to keep me from finding out about it," Tiny said.

Briney burst into laughter. "Ha! A mon after my own heart!"

"You're such a troll, Tiny! And I'm not sure if I mean that in a good or bad way," Leo said.

"I can't believe you've been keeping this from us all this time," Ash said, shocked.

"Actually, now that the Meowth's out of the bag, I guess there's something else I should tell you all," Tiny said.

Kageie started. "What?! Son, don't tell me you've-"

"What? No! No no no no! I'm _way_ too young for that!" Tiny said, turning red. "Though, ah, it's sort of related."

"I'm dreading to find out, but what is it?" Ash asked morbidly.

"It's not that bad, trust me," Briney said. That didn't help Ash much.

"I was sort of hoping _all _my friends could be here to hear this, but since Sasha's still asleep, I guess she'll have to wait until later to find out," Tiny said. He cleared his throat. "Everyone, Nefertari and I are in love and are going to get married!"

"WHAT?!" everyone (except Briney) screamed.

_Well, that was unexpected,_ Dawn commented.

_Wonderful! The more love, the merrier!_ B said in delight.

"Zat's right!" the Yamask said, floating away from her seat to hover next to Tiny, grabbing one of his spines in her limbs. "I can't 'ide it anymore, Mama! Now you know ze truzh about 'ow I feel! I don't care what you say! We're in love and we're not going to let anyzing stop us!"

"Why zat's wonderful news! Congratulations!" Fantina said, delighted. "I 'ad expected one of your sisters to marry first to be 'onest, but if you truly zink you've found ze one you wish to spend ze rest of your life wiz, I'm all for it! Especially a fine, upstanding young mon like Tiny 'ere!"

"Oh," Nefertari said, somewhat deflated by the realization that her mother had no objections whatsoever to her no-longer-secret relationship.

"_Nefertari_ is going to get married?!" Phoebe asked incredulously.

"But she's so young! Younger zan all of us!" Agatha said.

"And none of _us_ are married…" Morticia said sourly.

"Now I'm starting to feel old," Bow said mournfully. She conjured a mirror and examined herself in it. She perked up in seconds. "Oh well, at least I'm still ravishingly beautiful."

"Wait, you and Nefertari?! You're getting MARRIED?!" Ash screamed in disbelief.

"Way to go, Tiny!" Leo whooped.

"And Nefertari. I'm very happy for you!" Lily said.

"Yeah! Well, not now, obviously. I mean, I'm not even one yet!" Tiny said.

"We've agreed to tie ze knot, zough, and once 'e's a bit older, we'll get married," Nefertari said.

"And I'll be the one to plan the wedding! It'll be wonderful!" Delia said excitedly. "Why, Tiny might be the first of our grandchildren to get married, which means I could have great-grandchildren in just a few years! Isn't this wonderful, Raiki?!"

"…Sometimes I honestly wonder what goes through that head of yours, Delia," Raiki said, dumbfounded.

"Tiny's getting married? But we just came from another wedding! And another one before that!" Junior complained.

"It's not for a few years, Junior," Collette pointed out.

"Yeah, but who knows how many other weddings we're gonna have to sit through between now and then?" the Donphan whined.

"Who can say?" the Togetic asked, glancing at Matthias, who blushed and glanced away.

"I…I don't…I don't understand," Ash stammered, shocked and bewildered. "The two of you…together? But…but how? When? Why?!"

"We hooked up not too long after we got settled here in the _Chambre de Fantasma,_" Tiny said.

"It was love at first sight," Nefertari said wistfully, causing her sisters to sigh longingly.

"And we smooched a lot. It was really hot," Tiny said, causing Ash to blanch and Leo and Briney to laugh.

"But-but you're too young to have a girlfriend! And you just met! And she's much older than you!" Ash stammered in protest.

"We're close to the same age emotionally or something. You know how weird Pokémon maturity and aging is. Plus, Leo decided to hook up with Lily after only knowing her for like a week or so, and _they_ just got married, and she's a few hundred years older than him too, and nobody's making a fuss about that," Tiny pointed out.

"Let's not bring me into this," Leo said.

"So why's it so wrong when I want to do the same thing?" Tiny asked.

"Because…because you're my son, and Leo isn't!" Ash said lamely.

"You couldn't handle being my dad," Leo said.

"No, he couldn't," Brad agreed.

"And it's not like we're getting married _now_. Like I said, we're gonna give it a few years. We're just engaged now is all, though I haven't gotten her a ring yet since I'm not as resourceful as Leo. So what's the big deal?" Tiny asked.

"I…well…the big deal is…" Ash stammered, trying desperately to articulate how wrong this whole thing was and failing. "I…Pikachu, give me a paw here!"

Pikachu sighed wearily. "Ash, by now I've just about given up trying to make any kind of sense out of the illogical and mind-bogglingly weird things our friends do on a regular basis, since trying to do so is an exercise in futility and madness. If he really thinks he's in love and wants to get married, good for him. Besides, he's your kid, not mine. Not my responsibility."

"But he's your nephew!" Ash protested.

"Yes…but I really, really don't want to get involved in this," Pikachu said.

Dawn nodded. _A wise decision._

"Kageie! What about you? You've just met your son, _and_ your son's girlfriend! Surely you have an objection to this?!" Ash begged the elder Tyranitar.

The Tyranitar thought about this for a moment. "Tiny, do you love Nefertari?"

"Yes," Tiny said.

"You're sure it's not some childish crush?" Kageie pressed.

"I'm pretty sure I feel as strongly for her as Leo does for Lily," Tiny said.

"Well, maybe not _that_ strong," Leo said.

"Actually, he does," Briney said.

"…Huh," Leo said.

"And Nefertari, do you love Tiny?" Kageie asked.

"Wiz all my heart," the Yamask said.

"Even though you've only known him a few days, and he's only a few weeks old," Kageie said.

Nefertari hesitated. "Yes, zough I admit it sounds a little creepy when you put it like zat."

"Meh, still less disturbing than when Jakob fell in love with Belle's daughter like right after she was born in Midnight: Shattering Dawn," Leo said.

"…Yeah, zat was kind of gross, wasn't it?" Nefertari admitted reluctantly, not wanting to speak ill of her favorite book series no matter how many times her mother had destroyed the copies she'd stashed all over their holdings.

Kageie rubbed her chin for a moment. "But you don't want to get married or do anything too…mature just yet."

"Not until I'm older, Mommy," Tiny said. "Which makes it a bit better…right?"

"…Perhaps. And Nefertari…I know your mother and sisters are a little…ah…" Kageie said awkwardly.

The Fantasmas glared at the Tyranitar. "A little _what?_" Shauntal asked coolly.

Kageie coughed and tried again. "Um, what I mean is…er…Nefertari. Have you ever…ah, been with anyone…?"

"Oh!" Nefertari blushed while Tiny glared at his mother. "No. No, not like zat. Just a few crushes is all."

"And what you feel for Tiny is no crush?" Kageie pressed.

"I've never felt like zis for anyone before," Nefertari affirmed, causing her sisters to sigh.

"And you want to marry him," Kageie repeated.

"Yes," Nefertari said.

"And Fantina…you're all right with this?" the Tyranitar asked.

"More zan all right! I can't zink of many matches for my daughter better zan Tiny!" Fantina assured her.

Kageie drummed her fingers on the tabletop for a moment, causing all their plates to vibrate. "…Well, son, if it'll really make you happy, I suppose you have my blessing."

"Yay!" Tiny cheered while Nefertari sighed in relief.

"WHAT?!" Ash cried.

"She's wealthy, powerful, beautiful, and genuinely seems to like Tiny. Seems like a good match to me. Certainly better than most of his prospects would have been if he had grown up in the wild and we hadn't…been separated," Kageie said. "I admit it seems a bit fast, but…I suppose you civilized folk do things differently, and Tiny's been around you lot long enough to pick up on that sort of thing. I'm not quite sure I understand it myself, but if it will make my son happy and ensure he has a successful future, I suppose I can get behind it. Besides, I'm still debating on whether or not I should allow him to go with you lot to Mars, and that's _much_ more dangerous than getting married."

"Depends on who you ask," Raiki muttered. Delia kicked him under the table.

"Thank you, Mommy!" Tiny said ecstatically.

"Just make sure I have grandkids. But not soon. No. Not _anytime_ soon. Are we clear?" Kageie said gravely.

"Yes, Mommy!" Tiny promised the Tyranitar.

"Misty! I don't suppose _you_ have anything to say?!" Ash pleaded, down to his last resort.

"I can think of a _few_ things…" Misty said, reveling in the look of naked, undisguised hope that filled Ash's face. "Nothing that would help you in this situation, though, and even if I did, I wouldn't tell you. Because I hate you." She laughed cruelly at the utterly crestfallen look that took up his face as his hopes were completely and utterly dashed.

"Daddy, I know this may be a big shock, but…I like Nefertari a lot, and want to marry her. Not right now, but someday. Just like you're going to marry Misty someday," Tiny said. "Whenever she gets back from space. I intend to marry Nefertari no matter what, but…it would really mean a lot to me if you gave me your blessing, too."

Ash cringed, unable to resist the pleading expression on his son's face or the affection surging through their bond. How could he possibly have missed his son falling in love over the last week? Had he really been that busy training and struggling with his own problems to fail to notice something like that, fail to notice the increased feelings of love pulsing up their connection? What kind of father was he, to ignore something like that…or to deny it? Sighing, he closed his eyes. "This is all rather sudden. I'm…going to need a little time to work this out, okay?"

"Okay, Daddy," Tiny said in disappointment, and the waves of sorrow rippling up their link nearly changed Ash's mind then and there.

"I'll give you my decision soon," Ash said, struggling not to let his emotions sway him. "And…Tiny? No matter what, I'm proud of you, okay?"

Tiny's expression and emotional wavelength reversed polarity immediately. "Awww, thanks Daddy." He hugged his father, causing the others to coo or boo, depending on their level of emotional maturity. (Or vindictiveness, in Misty's case.)

"I don't suppose there's anyone else here who wants to announce an engagement?" Delia asked, looking around the room hopefully.

"Nope," Briney said. "I think that's everyone."

"Darn," Delia grumbled. "Oh well, at least I can start planning Tiny's wedding. And Ash's. And Pikachu's."

"Mom, Misty hasn't even come back for me to _ask_ her to marry me yet," Ash said in dismay.

"And there's no guarantee she'd say yes anyway, I certainly wouldn't," Misty agreed.

"And Grandma, I'm too young! It's not gonna happen for another few years!" Tiny protested.

"It's never too early to start planning, dear," Delia said rather manically.

"Don't argue with her, kiddo, there's no use when she gets like this," Raiki said resignedly.

"No use at all," Pikachu agreed glumly.

Fantina chuckled. "Well, you're free to use any of our country's fine venues to 'ouse ze wedding, zough I zink we 'ave quite a few places 'ere in ze _Chambre_ zat will suffice. Some of zem are even in ze same dimension we normally occupy!"

Delia blinked. "What? No, of course not, the wedding will be held in Pokémon Square!"

Fantina paused. "…I beg your pardon?"

"Tiny's home is in Pokémon Square now! As such, that's where he will be married!" Delia insisted.

"But I've never even _been_ to Pokémon Square," Tiny protested, only to be ignored.

Fantina frowned. "And Fichina is Nefertari's 'ome. It is our family's 'ome. If zere is to be a wedding, it is to be in 'er 'omeland, and nowhere else!"

"Um, actually, I don't mind where we get married, so long as I'm wiz Tiny," Nefertari protested, only to be ignored.

"I'm sure your overwhelming grandeur and needless opulence and extravagance and sorcery all make for a very nice show, but Tiny is a simple lad, and a wedding in a more homey and less overwhelming setting is exactly what he needs," Delia said coldly.

"And I'm sure a charmingly rustic town like Pokémon Square is a perfectly comfortable and 'appy place to live, but ze only place wiz ze 'istory and magic and _prestige_ suitable for ze wedding of a mage of such power and social standing as my daughter is right 'ere in Fichina," Fantina replied icily.

"Oh boy, this won't end well," Raiki muttered.

"I hate it when Mom gets like this," Pikachu groaned.

_What's going on?_ Asked a confused Dawn.

"One of the most horrifying and terrible aspects of getting married and bringing two families together," Leo said sagely while continuing to stuff his face. "The inevitable rivalry between the in-laws. Good thing that wasn't a problem for Lily and I."

"Actually, I don't think Nuken likes us very much," Brad commented.

"Father doesn't really like anyone very much, it's nothing personal," Lily assured him.

"What's wrong, Your Grace, a backwater town full of magicless plebes isn't good enough for you?!" Delia hissed.

"Or maybe a land of parlor tricks and fairy tales and excessive wealzh and food you won't eat because you don't know 'ow it gets made isn't good for _you!_" Fantina snarled.

"Do _you_ have a preference as to where our son gets married?" Kageie asked Ash, who flushed at the awkward wording while Leo and Briney snickered.

"Um…I'd be happy with Pokémon Square, honestly, but wherever Tiny wants to get married is fine with me," Ash said. "Not that Mom is exactly in a position to listen to my input right now."

"Pokémon Square!" shouted Delia, proving Ash's point.

"Fichina!" Fantina retorted.

"POKÉMON SQUARE!"

"FICHINA!"

"_POKÉMON SQUARE!"_

"_FICHINA!"_

"Zis is awful!" Nefertari gasped in horror as they watched Delia and Fantina start screaming at each other across the table while everyone else looked on in alarm or kept eating their own meals apathetically. "I zought our engagement would bring our families togezzer, not drive zem apart!"

"Maybe we should elope?" Tiny suggested.

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!" Delia, Fantina, Kageie and Ash bellowed.

Nefertari flinched. "Well, at least we got zem to agree on somezing."

"I thought you said you were fine with me getting married wherever I wanted," Tiny complained.

"I am, so long as it's not that. No son of mine is running off to get hitched at a drive-through chapel in Neon Town!" Ash said.

Kageie nodded. "I have no idea where that is, but he's absolutely right!"

"That's right; you're getting married in Pokémon Square, and nowhere else!" Delia said firmly.

"No, zey're getting married in _Fichina_ and nowhere else!" Fantina countered.

"Pokémon Square!" shouted Delia.

"Fichina!" Fantina retorted.

"POKÉMON SQUARE!"

"FICHINA!"

"_POKÉMON SQUARE!"_

"_FICHINA!"_

"You know, I could marry them both now and put an end to this nonsense," Briney offered.

"NO!" Delia, Kageie, Fantina, and Ash bellowed.

Briney huffed. "Well, fine. Be that way. Leo and Lily didn't think they were too good to get married by ol' Captain Briney…"

"Girls, if and when any of us decide to tie ze knot, we should probably make sure it 'appens 'ere. It'll make Mama 'appier," Mirami murmured to her sisters.

They nodded in agreement. "And zere will certainly be less shouting," Shauntal agreed.

"I don't suppose suggesting zey get married somewhere else entirely will work?" Bow asked.

"Let's wait until zey calm down a bit to bring zat up," Agatha said.

As the volume of Delia and Fantina's hollering increased, things got a lot louder when the Gibles, having no idea what was going on, cheerfully started screaming as well because it seemed like fun. Leo was starting to hand out noise-canceling headphones to everyone so they could resume their breakfast in peace when suddenly another note appeared before Fantina in a burst of flame. Shooting a glare at Delia, she said, "We'll continue zis later," before glancing at the note. Then she did a double-take and read it over again. Disintegrating it with a thought, she levitated out of her seat, a grave expression on her face. "I am afraid we are going to 'ave to cut breakfast short."

"What? But we just got here!" Leo complained, looking up from his dish.

"I'm afraid you will 'ave to finish eating later. Your team and myself 'ave been summoned to attend 'er Magisty in New Avalon. Somezing very big 'as come up, somezing zat concerns all of you," Fantina said gravely.

The members of Team Aurabolt exchanged shocked looks, except for Briney, who'd known what Fantina learned the instant she saw the note. "Then…that means…" Ash whispered.

Fantina nodded. "Zey 'ave finished formulating ze stratagem for ze invasion of Mars."

As a stunned silence filled the room, Misty cackled. "Oh, this is gonna be _good._"

…

Shortly afterwards, in the Grand Council chamber in the Queen's palace in New Avalon…

The Grand Council chamber, with its astronomical motif that some might say went above and beyond motif and into the realm of outright imitation or universe-crafting, was as grand as ever…but without the thousands of Pokémon usually occupying it for the standard Council meeting, it seemed eerily empty, which some might say was another step closer to making it a dead-on model of outer space. Only the Queen, Team Aurabolt (sans Sasha), Nuken, Princess Boa, Lugia, Victini, the Tao Trio, Dean and Bob, Fantina, and Professor Fennel were present. The matter they were about to discuss was of the utmost secrecy and importance, so the fewer Pokémon that knew about it, the better.

"Over the course of the last week, the greatest minds in Fichina and the rest of the world have been trying to formulate a solution to what is, at present, the greatest threat to our world since the cataclysm a thousand years ago," Queen Ninianne began. "The Nihilators, the enemies of every living thing on Earth, have been all but eradicated from the face of the planet, except for a few stragglers and remnant groups scattered around the world and any hidden agents that Dean and Bob's excellent but by no means complete or up-to-date information failed to uncover." The two vampires grimaced at this but said nothing. "However, our enemies are still out there, taunting us from their stronghold on the red planet, millions of miles away from us and seemingly out of our reach…" A smile formed on the mystic monarch's face. "That is, until now."

She snapped her fingers, and suddenly the council chamber took yet another step towards becoming an accurate scale model of the solar system when all of the various platforms scattered around the chamber symbolizing the numerous planets, moons, and planetoids of the system flashed and abruptly took on the appearances of the celestial bodies they were supposed to represent. Team Aurabolt and Nuken were understandably startled to find themselves standing on what looked an awful lot like the planet Mercury, while the Queen and her retinue now appeared to be sitting on top of the Sun.

Victini levitated into the air. "All right you lot, listen up, because what you're about to hear is the top-secret plans to what may be the greatest joint operation in the history of the planet, so pay attention because I'm only gonna explain it once! And I'm not going to bother warning you not to tell anyone outside this chamber what I'm about to say, since the geass of silence that was placed on you without your noticing when you came in here will make sure you keep your mouths—and minds—shut."

"Wait, what?!" Ash stammered.

Pikachu sighed. "Great, another one of those."

"It's not like I was gonna blab it to everyone on the Internet or anything…" Leo grumbled.

"Great, more restrictions," Briney grunted, who was still miffed to discover that despite his increased mental powers he was still unable to read the minds of the Queen or any of the gods in the room without their permission. Trying had just given him a headache. It seemed he _still_ wasn't strong enough to see into their minds…yet.

"Um, what about Sasha?" Tiny asked.

Victini blinked. "Huh? What about…wait, where is Sasha? I only count seven of you."

"She's sleeping off the effects of being on her feet for almost a week straight, so we thought it best to let her stay in bed," Ash said.

"…You were summoned to stand before the Queen of Fichina and receive information of vital importance to the future of the planet and she's not here because she decided to SLEEP IN?!" Victini screamed incredulously.

"Well, none of us were exactly keen on trying to wake her, due to what she promised to do to us if we woke her up too early," Pikachu said.

"Actually, _I_ tried to wake her up, but Darkrai said no," Briney said, disgruntled.

_Sasha's done enough for me for the last several days. She deserves a rest,_ Darkrai said.

_I'm guessing you'll tell her what she missed?_ Ash asked.

_Nope, can't. Against those stupid rules of the contract I had to sign. You're on your own,_ Darkrai said.

Victini sighed in exasperation. "Ugh, fine, you can tell her, but _nobody else_, okay?"

"Okay," the heroes chorused.

"Anyway. Let's begin the briefing." Victini floated to the platform representing Earth, which was the Earth, now. "First things first. We're here." She then flew across the room to the crimson sphere of Mars. "And they're here. Specifically, right _here._" Victini pointed to a spot on the orb, and suddenly the illusionary planet grew in size until they could clearly make out various features on its surface, including a very prominent mountain. "From Dean and Bob's intel, and other corroborating information we've collected since then, it's become clear that the Nihilator headquarters is in Coronet Mons, the largest volcano in the solar system. Ages ago, it used to be the center of the thriving Martian civilization, made up of Elgyem and Beheeyems, a utopian super-society that flourished due to their psychic network, high technology, and mastery of the Life Equation, something that still eludes many of us here on Earth." Ash stirred at the mention of this fabled formula, which was apparently in his book and had the power to save him but wouldn't show itself for whatever reason. Victini scowled. "A society that came to an end when Oblivion's Shadow appeared suddenly and unleashed a telepathic plague on the populace, nearly wiping all of them out, including many Martians off-world at the time of the plague's release. The network linking their minds together made it that much easier for the plague to spread and kill most of their population, no matter where they were at the time of the initial outbreak. There are only a handful of them left, most slaving away for the Nihilators, with the rest hiding at the bottom of the Valles Marineris, the deepest canyon in the Solar System…which is probably why it's been a while since we've gotten a visit from them, come to think of it. It's due to their technology that the Nihilators have been able to build such superior ships and weaponry, though with the salvage collected from the battle outside Fichina and other things we've recovered from bases around the world since then, we're getting pretty damn close to closing the tech gap through the miracle of reverse-engineering."

"This is all interesting, but we already know most of this. Why is she telling us this again?" Pikachu asked. "Especially since we heard it already from Dean and Bob like a week ago?"

"For the sake of exposition," Leo said. "Plus, Nuken wasn't here then."

"No, but I was watching it on television," Nuken pointed it out. "So I already know it, too. In fact, I know the entire plan, especially since I've helped to come up with it along with the rest of the world's greatest military minds."

"Then what's the point of her repeating information we already know?!" Pikachu demanded.

"She likes to 'ear 'erself talk," Fantina whispered. "Now be quiet, she's going to start getting into details you _don't_ know."

"However, while we're catching up to them tech-wise, we're no closer to getting to Mars, as I believe Professor Fennel can explain," Victini said, nodding to the Musharna.

The scientist floated away from the Sun and hovered over the illusion of Earth, which enlarged while Mars returned to its original size. "While we now have an understanding of how Nihilator vessels work due to the intact ones Team Aurabolt and the passengers of the Enchanted Express captured, they will not provide us with an avenue to reach Mars. The Martians never developed FTL technology, unlike the inhabitants of the Moon, and instead contented themselves with using 'jump-gate' gravity slingshots to travel across the solar system. While the Lunar civilization, which has had a friendly relationship with the Martians for quite some time, offered to teach the Martians how to make FTL drives more than once, they always declined because they feared that straying too far from their homeworld would stretch the telepathic network that is the backbone of their civilization to its breaking point, which is why they've apparently never left the solar system. More's the pity, because then some of them might have escaped the psychic plague unleashed by Oblivion's Shadow. Even more unfortunately for us, we are nowhere near ready to build our own jump-gate to launch a fleet to Mars, even if we could get one that's space-worthy before the Nihilators launch their next attack, which could be any day now." She hovered over to a small silvery ring floating some distance away from the Earth, and somewhat close to the Moon. "The Nihilator jump gate near the Moon is still operational…but as I've said, other than the captured ships we don't have anything that can fly out there past the Earth's gravity just yet, and even if we did the Nihilators would probably destroy it before we could use it. And the Lunar civilization will be of no help to us either, since their hands are tied due to the abduction of Cressellia and the non-aggression treaty Darkrai had to sign, so we can't get any help from that quarter."

_That is inconvenient,_ Dawn said.

_Sorry,_ Darkrai said apologetically. _I promise, once we rescue Cressy, I'll send in as much help as I can. And trust me when I say I can send in a _lot.

"The living vehicle owned by that strange Mienshao from another universe, Sam, is capable of traveling to Mars through means I have not yet been able to fathom—since she won't let me study her—but we can't exactly pack an entire army into a single small vehicle—well, actually we could, but I doubt she'd agree to having the rather complex enchantments necessary for something like that get cast on her—and aside from that, there seems to be no way to get in touch with her or Sam. They just…show up whenever they feel like it, without warning. Which is frustrating, since it makes it difficult to factor them into any strategy," Fennel said in annoyance.

"Tell me about it," Victini grumbled.

"Heh, yeah, that sounds like Sam and Outlaw," Leo said.

"I'd have thought they'd want to be working with us on this. Isn't Max on Mars?" Pikachu asked.

"We don't know that for sure," Briney pointed out.

Lily nodded. "Mother might have him. And…we still haven't found her iceberg lair…"

"Still working on it," Victini said, looking even more frustrated.

"Last night at the reception Sam said they might have found a lead as to where they can find Max, so not to wait up for them when the big thing goes down," Leo continued.

Pikachu's ears twitched. "I am both relieved and disappointed to hear that. Mostly relieved, though."

"Weren't they a big help against the Nihilators and the forces of Niflheim?" Tiny asked.

"That's why I'm mostly but not completely relieved," Pikachu said.

"So, technology is out. Does magic hold a solution to our problem?" Fennel nodded at Fantina.

The mage floated over to Fennel and shook her head. "Unfortunately, it does not. While teleportation and creating portals to places all over ze world, or even to ozzer planes of existence, is simple enough…" She drifted over to hover by Victini next to Mars. "Travel to anozzer planet? Not as easy."

"Really? Why is that?" Ash asked. "I'd have thought it'd be harder to travel to another dimension than to another planet."

"Heh, you'd think so, wouldn't you?" Leo said, shaking his head. "It's not that simple, though."

"Most other dimensions or planes are basically parallel to our own, so traveling to them is essentially a matter of stepping sideways through magical means," Lily explained. "Traveling to other planets is more complicated because you have to factor in orbital mechanics and planetary rotation and gravity and geography and a variety of other incredibly complex calculations that even the most brilliant of mages struggle with to make sure you materialize safely on the surface rather than out in space or several miles beneath the crust or inside a mountain. Plus, none of us have ever been to Mars, which makes things trickier, since it's difficult to transport to somewhere neither you nor any other mage has ever been to."

"You can't just use your matter creation spell to…I dunno, whip up a portal to Mars?" Ash asked Fantina.

The Mismagius shook her head. "I can only create somezing if I know 'ow it works. I 'ave no idea 'ow a portal to Mars would work, so I can't make it." There was another reason she couldn't make a portal to Mars, but out of pride and embarrassment, she did not voice it.

"Theoretically, I could craft one with my hammer by using a pre-existing solid state anchored portal as a base," Briney spoke up. "But it would be incredibly difficult due to all the calculations necessary to make sure the endpoint was safe and stable, just like Lily said. I _could_ do those calculations—having four brains is pretty handy for something like that—but it would take more time than I think we have available, especially since—as Lily said—none of us have been there, so we don't have any pre-existing destination coordinates to work off of."

"Doesn't Bellum have some way to get to Mars, though?" Tiny asked.

"Yes, but we don't know what it is or how it works, and we'd actually have to _find_ her first, which is proving more difficult than I would like," Nuken growled.

"Oh. Great," Tiny said unhappily.

"If I knew how Mother got to Mars, I would have told you a while ago," Lily said apologetically. "But…I don't. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Lily. It's not your fault your bitch of a mom didn't clue you in on her evil plans," Leo said.

Ash nodded. "Plus, knowing Bellum, her method of transportation probably involves, like…I dunno…sacrificing a hundred children's souls to Giratina, or torturing a blind orphan with cancer to death, or deflowering a dozen virgins, or something else needlessly and pointlessly cruel. Nothing we'd want to try ourselves."

"That _does_ sound like Mother," Lily admitted.

"What did I ever see in that womon?" Nuken muttered to himself. He glanced at Lily, and his mood lessened somewhat. At least _one_ good thing had come out of that awful encounter. Eventually.

_All you have done so far is tell us how we're _not_ getting to Mars,_ Dawn asked in annoyance. _How, then, are we going to get there?_

"A good question!" Victini said approvingly. "Now, answer me this: did you or did you not recently acquire a Pokelantean vessel from undead pirates?"

They stirred at this. "The _Peeko XII?_ Why, what about it?" Ash asked.

Briney's eyes lit up. "Of course! It's so simple!"

"What?! You got to it before me?!" Leo complained. "Oh well, it _is_ your ship."

"And I'm smarter than you now," Briney said.

Leo narrowed his eyes. "That has yet to be seen."

"Um, what does the _Peeko XII _have to do with anything?" Lily asked in confusion.

"The _Peeko's_ got a magitek engine that lets it warp to anywhere so long as it has something from the place it's jumping to for reference," Briney reminded them.

The other heroes gasped at this. "Of course! Then that means we can use the _Peeko XII_ to get to Mars!" Ash said ecstatically.

"Yes! And all we need is…something from Mars…so it knows how to get there…" Pikachu's ears drooped, as did everyone else's shoulders.

"Except we don't _have_ anything from Mars," Tiny said morosely.

"Well, I still have the Moon rock we got off of Ciela," Leo said, rummaging in his shell and pulling out the stone that had helped them to slay Yamatorochi. "Maybe we could plug it into the _Peeko XII's_ engine and jump to the Moon? I mean, the Lunar civilization has FTL drive, and they were apparently pretty chummy with the Martians since they're both utopian super-societies from space so go to all the same conventions and parties and get-togethers that enlightened alien races attend and don't bother inviting us 'lesser' races to, so they must have _something_ from Mars…"

_A good thought, but no,_ Darkrai said. _They can't help you get to Mars any more than I can. While you could ask them for something Martian, the terms of the treaty means they can't give it to you._

_Maybe we could steal it?_ Dawn suggested.

…_You could _try, Darkrai said doubtfully. _Pretty sure my nightmares'd make mincemeat of you, though. You guys are good, but I don't think you're good enough to survive some of the things that lurk on the Dark Side of the Moon. Plus, Sasha wouldn't have my protection or blessing if she tried something like that, so she'd be just as vulnerable as the rest of you._

"Something as risky as that will not be necessary, fortunately," Reshiram spoke up.

Zekrom nodded. "We already have an artifact from Mars you may use to reach the Red Planet."

The heroes' spirits rose at this. "You do?!"

Queen Ninianne nodded. "Much like the Lunar civilization, emissaries from Mars have visited Earth now and then, to observe us and gauge our development, to see whether or not our planet has advanced to the point where they may enter into open relations with us without fears that they may negatively affect our growth...or be negatively affected in return. The mystical nature of Fichina has long been of special interest to the Martians, since their world lacks the same degree of innate magic that parts of Earth or the entirety of the Moon does. Many years ago they entered into a limited—and _secret_—trade agreement with us: we provide them with magic to study, and they give us some of their super-science and art to help us better Fichina and-once we figure out a proper application for it, because much of it is not easily replicated by the resources currently available to us-the rest of the world."

"Understandably, many countries were rather displeased to learn that you've been dealing directly with envoys from the Red Planet for quite some time, while they tend to pop in and out without warning everywhere else," Nuken said snidely.

"Perhaps when they have less reason to believe you might use their gifts to wage war against your rivals, they will pay you a more formal visit?" Victini sneered. Nuken growled at her but said nothing.

"The Nihilators, no doubt anticipating this course of action, had their agents destroy any artifact of possible Martian origin on Earth just before we were able to crack down on them, to the detriment of many museums, private collections, and government storehouses around the world" the Queen continued. "Fichina, on the other hand, has ever been free of Nihilator infiltration, so still has everything the Martians have ever given us locked away safely. If we provide you with a relic from Mars, you can use it to transport the _Peeko XII_ to the Red Planet safely."

"Yatta!" Leo gushed. "We're going to Mars! And meeting real Martians! That's awesome!"

"Heh, I've never sailed to another planet before…this should be interesting…" Briney said.

"So you _are_ sending us, then?" Pikachu asked, just to be clear. "You're not going to try and commandeer the _Peeko XII_ and send some commando team instead?"

"If they tried to take my ship from me, I would kill them all," Briney promised.

"If you are willing to go, then yes, we wish to send you," the Queen said.

"While there are some countries that believed we should do just that—take your ship from you, I mean. Clearly none of them truly understand just how dangerous Captain Thaddeus Irving Briney can be," Nuken said. Briney smirked in amusement at this. "The eventual consensus was that you eight…well, seven plus Sasha…should take the Pokélantean ship to Mars yourself to establish our beachhead. You have more experience fighting the Nihilators than anyone else, and we will need your expertise on the frontlines of this battle, especially with the new powers you have manifested. Even I would have trouble fighting against your team as they are now."

"…That is an incredible compliment coming from you, sir," Leo said in awe.

"…Yes. Well. Don't get used to it," Nuken said gruffly.

"Thank you, Father," Lily said, kissing the Shedinja on the cheek.

He flushed in embarrassment and quickly floated back. "L-Lily! Not in public!"

"Yeah, not in public…especially where I can get pictures," Leo said with a smirk, quickly stowing a camera away in his shell.

Nuken glared at Leo. "I will expect that picture and all copies of it deleted, DeKappa."

"I'll think about it," Leo said, calling the Shedinja's bluff. Nuken gasped and grunted and twitched, finally degenerating into a menacing growl, which Leo took no notice of. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

"One of these days, I'm going to…do…absolutely nothing…" Nuken trailed off Mareepishly as Lily glared at him. Leo chuckled, causing the Shedinja to tremble with barely repressed rage.

_Excellent. I would not have had it any other way,_ Dawn said.

"We'll be going with you too, of course," Dean said.

Bob nodded. "Once we reach Mars, we'll be able to reestablish contact with our Queen and the resistance forces within the Nihilator fortress, so we can find out what's happened in our absence, how we might need to adjust our strategy accordingly, and prepare to launch the long-awaited rebellion to wrest freedom for our people away from our tormentors."

"We'll be happy to have you with us," Ash said.

"So long as you respect my authority while on board my ship," Briney said gruffly. "Your Queen might be on Mars…but on the _Peeko XII_, my word is law. Is that clear?"

"Yes, sir," the vampires chorused.

"I shall come as well," Lugia informed the heroes. "You will no doubt be going up against the Shadowed form of my wife, and they still hold my son captive. You will require my assistance to free them both."

Ash broke into a grin. "It'll be good to fly with you again, Lugia."

"And I with you, Ash," Lugia said warmly.

"Blech!" Misty said in disgust.

"Um, not to disparage this clever stratagem, but…aren't you forgetting something?" Pikachu asked. "The _Peeko XII _is just one ship. While you could stuff us and as many soldiers as it could carry on board, that still won't be enough to lead a successful assault on the Nihilator stronghold."

"Balderdash! The _Peeko XII _can take on anything!" Briney bragged. "Why, if we'd had her during our last sortie, we'd have cleaned things up much quicker, and…maybe not have lost one of our own…"

The vampires flinched at this. "Be that as it may," Dean said. "The enemy force that will be waiting for you on Mars will be at least ten times as big as the fleet we battled outside Fichina. Even your ship might have trouble taking it on alone."

"We'll see about that, o ye of little faith," Briney chided. "I've been fighting the Nihilators for over a decade, and I know my ship's and my own capabilities enough to judge what we can or can't do."

"And we've been prisoners of the Nihilators long enough to know _their _capabilities!" Bob snapped. "As well as what they can or can't do! If you try to take them on all by yourself, you'll lose! You'll take down most of them, but you'll still lose!"

"Oh yeah?" Briney growled.

"Fortunately, we will not need to test that out," the Queen interjected. "Because you are _not_ taking on the Nihilators alone."

Ash blinked. "We're not?"

"Well, no, once we start the revolution they'll be just as busy fighting enemies from within as from without," Dean said.

"Oh yeah," Ash said.

"But will that be enough to give us the edge we need to survive?" Pikachu asked skeptically.

"Nope! Fortunately, that's why you'll have this!" Professor Fennel said, producing a stone carved in a geometric formation with glowing runes set in every surface.

"And that is…?" Pikachu asked as the stone floated over and dropped into Ash's paws.

"My latest invention!" Professor Fennel bragged. Fantina coughed. "…With help from Her Grace, of course. It's a portalstone!"

"Ooooh," Lily and Tiny said, eyes wide.

"Oh, sweet!" Leo said.

"And this does…what, exactly?" Ash asked, prodding the stone with a paw skeptically.

"As the name implies, it opens a portal!" Fennel said, as if it were obvious. Which it probably was, come to think of it.

"But I thought we couldn't open a portal to Mars," Tiny said in confusion.

"Zat's because it's _not_ a portal to Mars, it's a portal to _Earzh,_" Fantina said.

Tiny blinked. "Huh?"

"Identical stones have been distributed to every nation on Earth with a standing army that has agreed to help us invade Mars," Victini has said. "Each of those stones is slave-linked to the one you hold now, which is the master stone. Once you have reached Mars and made contact with both the Nihilator prisoners and the free natives—who, according to Bob and Dean, are also members of the resistance, lying in wait for the chance to retake their planet—and assessed the situation, Lily can use her magic to activate the stone. It will send a signal to the portalstones here on Earth, causing all of them to activate and open portals triangulating on the coordinates of the master stone on Mars, allowing us to march our armies through the resulting gateway and launch a full-scale assault against the Nihilator horde!"

"While your armies are attacking the Nihilator forces, our brethren will launch their rebellion from within the fortress," Dean said.

"The Nihilators will be divided on two fronts," Bob said with a fierce grin. "And an enemy divided is an enemy easily conquered!"

"Well said," Nuken purred approvingly.

"…_Badass,_" said an awestruck Leo.

"Huh. Not bad," Misty said grudgingly.

"That…might actually work," said an impressed Pikachu.

"Yeah, but they'll take away all the fun!" Briney complained.

"Our strategy is sound—it should be, since _I_ came up with it—but to ensure our victory, I'm coming myself," Victini announced. "As the goddess of victory, whichever side I choose to give my support to will win. As such, I need to be on the battlefield to maximize the effect my powers will have on the allied forces." She burst into a very toothy grin. "Plus, there's no _way_ I'm missing out on cleaving in the heads of bastards as big as the Nihilators."

"Wow, and here I thought we were going to have to take on the bad guys all by ourselves! That's the way it usually is in most of the stories and games Leo's shown me," Tiny commented.

"This is real life, Tiny," Pikachu pointed out. "And no matter _how_ similar it sometimes is to fiction—much to my exasperation—not _everything_ happens the way it would in a story. The world's leaders aren't just going to sit back and leave the fate of the planet in the hands of a ragtag group of heroes."

"More's the pity," Leo complained. "Oh well, at least we get to lead the fight rather than sitting back and watching someone else do it."

_What would you have us do after we open the portal?_ Dawn asked.

"Fight alongside us, naturally. Your powers and the _Peeko XII's _heavy weaponry will be extremely useful," Victini said.

"Additionally, during all the chaos caused by the battle outside and the revolt inside, we were hoping you might be able to slip inside and help free the prisoners as well as retrieve the four Star Badges the Nihilators possess," Nuken said. "We'll be sending our own stealth operatives, of course, but they don't have nearly as much experience fighting the Nihilators as you do. Plus, any distraction you cause fighting will make it easier for our agents to get the job done."

"You can count on our brethren to help you with that, too," Dean said.

Bob nodded. "We don't actually know where the Star Badges are, but they're probably in Oblivion's Shadow's quarters, along with our Queen."

"You also need to rescue the leader of the rebellion, the one called 'Teacher.' We would not have made it as far as we have without his support and wisdom," Dean said.

"We aren't going to leave anyone behind," Ash assured them. "We're a Rescue Team, and saving those in need is what we do!"

"Like you saved me?" Misty asked bitterly. Ash strived to ignore her.

"And we do a pretty damn good job of it, too," Leo said smugly.

Lily frowned in thought. "Wait, something just occurred to me. Don't the Nihilators have orbital defenses? Weapons satellites and ships patrolling the outer reaches of the atmosphere and all that? If we bring in a giant army, what's to stop them from bombarding us from the skies?"

"Glad you asked. We'll be bringing in a number of surface-to-orbit weapons and anti-satellite tech that should help stave off the risks of death from above," Victini said.

"Additionally, the Empire will be sending several members of our elite Sky High division," Nuken said. "Dragons specially trained to fly almost as high as His Excellency himself, to the very edge of space. Their purpose is to patrol the outer limits of the atmosphere and help maintain and/or destroy satellites, as well as to eliminate any stellar object that gets too close to the planet that may pose a threat to the population. They will be perfectly suited to seek out and destroy any defenses the Nihilators have circling the Red Planet."

"That'll make things a lot easier for us, not having to worry about getting shot from space," Leo commented as Lily sighed in relief.

"While I'm thrilled that we're going to be getting so much help," Ash said. "Um…is it safe for all the world's armies to leave to invade Mars? What if the Nihilators left some trap behind or something else happens while we're gone?"

"Don't worry about that," Victini said. "We're not stupid enough to send _all_ our forces to Mars. Every country is leaving behind a sizable detachment to protect their borders while the rest are off fighting the Nihilators, to make sure none of their greedy neighbors try to take advantage of their weakened defenses. Also, the divisions that have been sent to safeguard Pokémon Square will still be in place while we're gone, since the absence of a large portion of the world's military forces seems like a perfect opportunity to launch an attack to me."

"That's good to hear. I'd hate to think our home would be left defenseless while we were gone," Pikachu said in relief.

"Heh, trust me when I say your home will never be defenseless again!" Victini boasted.

Ash and Pikachu exchanged uneasy looks at this. They weren't sure how they felt about that. While so far only a very, very small number of Pokémon knew the reason Pokémon Square was so important, it wouldn't be much longer until other countries started wondering why Fichina, the Draconian Empire, and the Nihilators were all so convinced of its worth…and began to covet it for themselves. While currently all the world's nations were united in protecting Pokémon Square, once this was over, would that arrangement remain, or would their town be the impetus for a new world war? And no matter what happened…with their home now under the scrutiny of so many powerful foreign entities, would Pokémon Square ever truly be free again?

"When do you want us to ship out?" Briney asked. He was aware of Pikachu and Ash's concerns, and while he knew they were reasonable, now was not the time to worry about something like that. They had the Nihilators to deal with first, after all.

"As soon as possible," the Queen said. "The longer we wait, the more time the Nihilators have to bolster their defenses and launch a counterattack. All the world's armies are ready for the signal to march. All you need to do is open the way for them." She raised an eyebrow. "Assuming, of course, you wish to go. We will not send you if you do not want to."

Ash exchanged glances with the others, who nodded resolutely, even Leo and Lily, who should probably have been celebrating a honeymoon right about now rather than getting involved in this conflict once again. They were all ready for this, even though it would probably be their greatest and most dangerous mission yet. And, he supposed, so was he. While the last week or so of relaxation in Fichina had been nice—aside from the increasingly frustrating failures at curing him, that is—their vacation couldn't last forever, and they all knew it. It was time to get back out into the real world and finish the Nihilators—and Oblivion's Shadow-once and for all. "We wouldn't miss this for the world, Your Magisty."

"I would," Misty said.

The Queen smiled in gratitude. "We are delighted to hear it."

"We'll need about a day to pack up everything we'll need and say goodbye to our family and friends first, though," Ash said.

"That should be fine," the Queen said.

"As well as access to any resources you might have which could be of use to us," Leo piped up.

"Done," the Queen said.

"Heh, you might wish you hadn't been so quick to agree to that by the time we're through…" Briney said, bemused.

"We're also going to need to get to Treasure Town, since that's where we left the _Peeko,_" Pikachu pointed out.

"Transport can easily be arranged, especially since teleporters have been set up between the capital and Treasure Town," Victini said. After the Nihilator threat had been exposed, the militaries of several nations—including Fichina and the Draconian Empire—had swiftly moved on Treasure Town to secure it and the Door lying beneath it from the Nihilators. The town had been evacuated of all its inhabitants and a level-by-level purge of the underground maze of the lingering monsters and Nihilator insurgents was conducted, with assistance from Barbedo's crew, who were more than happy to help kill things. Professor Oak and Tracey, no longer needing to live in hiding at Sharpedo Cape, had been brought on as consultants, since they not only knew the layout of the underground fairly well but also had detailed knowledge of the civilizations buried beneath the town and the workings of the Door. Archaeologists around the world were tearing their hair out in envy at the opportunities they were missing out on and all the discoveries Oak and Tracey were able to make without any pesky monsters or Nihilators to interfere with their research. It was pretty much all Tracey could talk about whenever he and Leo chatted anymore, that and expressing outrage he hadn't been able to make the wedding due to Oak and the military keeping him on a short leash, and his continued insistence that his long-distance girlfriend was very much real and very much super-hot. Nobody believed him, naturally.

"That won't be necessary, actually," Lily spoke up. "My magical abilities have grown strong enough that I can now open a portal between here and Treasure Town without much difficulty."

"Whoa, really? That's awesome!" said an impressed Leo.

"And incredibly convenient for us," Pikachu agreed, deciding not to complain about it too much.

"You can? Zat's wonderful, Lily!" Fantina said. "I've _never_ managed to…I-I mean, I'm very proud of you. Well done!" Only Briney seemed to catch her slip. Then again, he already knew what her secret shame was, but saw no need to bring it up. He wasn't that cruel. Unless he felt like it.

"In that case, I guess we can leave whenever we're ready," Ash said.

"Great! The sooner, the better…my sword's itching to taste some Nihilator blood!" Victini said.

"And the sooner we leave, the sooner we can save my family," Lugia said gravely.

Ash nodded. "Okay then. Let's head back to the _Chambre de Fantasma _to say goodbye to our families. Leo, you, Briney, Nuken and Pikachu put your heads together to figure out what we'll need to take with us. Fantina or Professor Fennel should be able to help get our hands on or make anything we need, and if they can't, I bet Briney can forge it."

"You bet I can," Briney said.

"Wait, why are you asking _Nuken_ for help and not me?" Victini protested.

"Maybe because Nuken's one of the most brilliant military strategists on the planet?" Leo suggested, always looking to ingratiate himself to his father-in-law. It didn't work.

"…And I'm _not?!_" the war goddess yelled.

"When is the last time you personally supervised a war?" Nuken asked smugly.

Victini hesitated. "Uh, well…it's been a few years…"

"Whereas I was in one just the other week. I rest my case," Nuken said. Victini growled, eye twitching.

"Your Magisty, gather anyone you want to send with us—I assume you _are_ intending to send others with us?" Ash asked.

The Queen nodded. "While I trust your skills, Ash, and those of your friends, I would be foolish to send only eight—well, and a crew of undead pirates—on their own to establish a foothold on Mars. Some of Fichina's finest—and a few from other places, as well—have already gathered here in New Avalon to go forth with you to the Red Planet. If they may have your permission to come aboard, Captain?"

"Well, I suppose so, since you asked nicely and all. So long as they know how to follow orders—specifically, _my_ orders—and know how not to bump too many elbows and can pull their weight and clean up after themselves, I think we should get along fine," Briney said reluctantly.

Ash nodded. "Okay, then send the call to all of your specialists and have them get ready. Once we've got everything we need—and Sasha wakes up, and we've filled her in-we'll let you know, and you can send your troops to the _Chambre de Fantasma_ so we can all head to Treasure Town together. Once there, we'll round up the crew, get in the _Peeko XII,_ plug in the artifact, and head off to Mars."

"We're going to need that artifact before we go, by the way," Pikachu pointed out.

Leo nodded. "Yeah, it would be embarrassing if we made it all the way to Treasure Town only to realize we left the darn thing here in Fichina."

"A good point. Here." The Queen opened her palm, and suddenly a small figure of an Elgeyem made of red stone appeared floating in the air above it. "This statuette is carved from stone taken from the Valles Marineris. Since that is where the last Martian survivors are hiding, and where Nihilator control on Mars is at its weakest, that makes it the ideal place for you to arrive at."

The statuette floated through the air and into Ash's waiting palms. He looked at it appraisingly. The object was flawless, with no visible seams or cracks, and while the Queen said it was made of stone, it didn't look quite like any stone he'd seen on Earth…and by now, he'd seen a _lot_ of stone. Then again, it _was_ from another planet, which probably explained it. It almost looked just like a real Elgeyem, only much smaller, and made of red stone. "Do they know we're coming?"

"Unfortunately, no," Victini said. "We have no way of contacting them."

"But we can communicate with them since we're all linked through the rebel network established by the Teacher, so the instant we get there they'll know we're friends and won't try to blast us out of the sky," Bob said.

"Psh, like they could," Briney scoffed.

"This is so cool…we're gonna meet real live Martians! Yatta!" Leo cheered.

"Um, I don't know if this is a stupid question or not, but…ah…will we be able to breathe there?" Tiny asked timidly.

"Why wouldn't we be able to?" Ash asked.

"Actually, Tiny brings up a good point. Other planets don't necessarily have the same atmosphere that we have on Earth," Leo pointed out. "However, all of Earth's extraterrestrial visitors from within our system have been able to breathe our air without difficulty, which implies we shouldn't have any trouble breathing on their worlds, either."

Dean nodded. "I've never actually been outside the Nihilator fortress, but I know there's an atmosphere similar to Earth's out there. It's a bit colder than we're used to, though, since it's further away from the Sun. Other than that, it should be okay."

"Cold as in…like, Lily's place, or Niflheim, or…?" Pikachu asked.

"At its warmest it can be around 80 degrees Fahrenheit," Bob said. "At other times it can be 1 degrees, or even -178."

"So you might want to bring a jacket," Dean said.

"Lovely," Pikachu said miserably. "More cold. Can't we adventure somewhere warm for a change? The desert we fought the Nihilators in doesn't count because of how screwy the weather became thanks to the corrupted legendary birds."

"What about Big Volcano?" Tiny asked.

"That was a while ago, Tiny, and the…" Pikachu grimaced. "_Musirangers_ froze it solid."

"Oh, right," Tiny said.

"That was so awesome!" Leo gushed.

"Leo, they deprived Battlus of its primary source of power as well as forcing hundreds of Pokémon out of a job due to the arena getting destroyed, and many of them were unqualified to work at the new winter resort they had to open up instead so may still be unemployed," Pikachu pointed out.

"Oh. Well, yeah, other than that," Leo admitted. "Mon, you have a way of making just about _anything_ sound bad." Pikachu sighed.

_What of Zero Isle?_ Dawn suggested.

Pikachu considered that. "I suppose so, but we also spent a fair portion of that part underwater, so I'm not sure it counts either."

"I'll always remember Zero Isle," Leo said fondly, sharing an adoring look with Lily. "It's where Lily and I shared our first kiss, and I went completely insane and thought I was a pirate from a computer game."

_Good thing Sasha's the only one of us who had to deal with that for a prolonged period of time,_ Dawn said. The others nodded in agreement, except for Tiny, who'd thought Leo was funny when he believed he was a Mighty Pirate™.

"You did a pretty good reprise of Monscrub Fourplank during some of our roleplay last night," Lily said with a blush.

"I did, didn't I?" Leo said proudly. "And you made a great Elayne. You even got the accent right! I'm surprised you managed to keep it even while you were screaming my—er, Monscrub's name."

"It wasn't easy, I'll tell you that much," Lily said.

"…Okay, we really didn't need to know about that," said a horrified Ash as he and the others turned green.

"Neither did I," Briney said morosely.

_Or me,_ Choc-Oboh moaned.

_I thought it was fun,_ B said.

_You would, _Choc-Oboh complained.

"I wouldn't mind 'earing more," Fantina said. When lots of people gave her looks, she flushed and said, "Er, but now's not ze time. Unfortunately."

Victini facepalmed. "Are these guys really the best we've got?"

"So it would seem," Kyurem hissed.

"Good thing they're not _all_ we're sending," Princess Boa said, causing her mother to shoot her a look.

"Back on subject from Pikachu's whining and hearing more about Leo and Lily's sex life than anyone here really needs to know, the _Peeko's_ shields should keep us nice and toasty for the most part, but outside it's gonna be a whole other story," Briney said.

"I can use my magic to keep us warm, if we need it," Lily assured them.

"And I can use my latest Thermonuke to keep the chill away!" Leo declared.

Pikachu groaned. "You _still_ have one of those things?!"

"I _always_ have a Thermonuke handy! It's too useful not to," Leo pointed out, to which Pikachu had to admit he might be right. Those things had proven useful more times than he could count.

_Is there anything else we need to know about the Martians ahead of time?_ Dawn asked.

"Probably, but we'll tell you on the way there," Dean said. "It's not as high a priority."

"Then I think that's everything," Briney said.

Ash nodded. "All right guys, let's get packing-"

The Queen stiffened. "Hold. We are receiving a transmission."

Everyone looked at her in surprise. "From where?" Nuken asked, instantly suspicious.

The Queen's eyes narrowed. "Mars."

As this shocking news sank in, a giant holographic screen suddenly appeared in the air. On that screen was a figure wearing floor-length cloak hanging from a wide silvery mantle on its shoulders, the cape-like fabric woven from a material so black it absorbed all the ambient light around it. The body beneath the cloak was seven feet tall and bipedal, clad in black armor and a black bodysuit that also seemed to absorb the light around it and filled out a lean rather than muscular form, with a thick cord wrapped around its waist like some sort of belt. Its head was no less enigmatic, a black cowled helmet with no particular adornments aside from a pair of long curved horns growing from the top of its head. In place of a face, there was a mirrored faceplate with a faintly embossed N-on-Earth symbol.

Ash knew the figure on sight. He was so taken by surprise that he was unable to stop the familiar rage from flooding his body, his training forgotten as Aura exploded uncontrollably out around him, driving the others back. "Oh no!" Pikachu cried in horror.

"Daddy, stop!" Tiny screamed, grimacing in pain as he felt Ash's fury and negative emotions surge through their bond, causing his own Aura to flare up.

"Oh crap oh crap oh crap!" Leo squealed.

"What is this?! I thought he was training to prevent something like this from happening!" Nuken cried in alarm.

"He has! It…hasn't been going very well!" Lily said, eyes glowing as she prepared various spells in preparation for…for…for what? Containment? To attack Ash? Although they had all promised to…do what was necessary, was she really ready to strike down her first friend? She hesitated, uncertain.

"Oh, yes! It's happening! It's really happening!" Misty cackled excitedly.

"Calm down, Ash!" Briney boomed, eyes glowing as he grabbed Ash in a telekinetic grip. He clenched his teeth as Ash's out of control Aura seethed and struggled against him. Even with his new power boost, the Lucario's rage was almost too strong for him to hold back. "That's not really him, it's just a projection, from millions of miles away! And unlike the one in Treasure Town, you _can't_ fight him!"

"Don't you…nngh…think I…hrrgh…know that!" Ash snapped, squeezing his eyes shut and grinding his teeth as he struggled to get his emotions under control. "But-but I…every time I look at him, I see…"

"_Please…don't die…"_

_He clutched her dead body to his chest, sobbing, refusing to believe her life had been snuffed out as easily as a candle even as her blood soaked into his clothes and stained his hands and face._

"_I'm so sorry…"_

"That's what you _should_ see, Ash. What you did to me. Face up to the consequences of what you've done. Admit the truth you're hiding from yourself. Give in to the darkness!" Misty shouted.

"_No!_ I…I _won't!"_ Ash screamed, but the way his Aura was roiling and darkening in hue put the lie to these words.

"Daddy!" Tiny screamed, tackling Ash, his Aura blazing up as he added his power to Briney's to try and keep Ash pinned down. "Don't lose control, Daddy! Please!"

"We're here for you, Ash!" Pikachu said, taking his paw away from his sword and approaching carefully, making sure not to make any threatening movements. "Don't give in to your anger!"

"No, do give in! Do give in!" Misty chanted.

"Oh, be quiet, you!" Briney snarled angrily.

"Uh, this isn't good," Victini said, glancing around to the other Fichinans, who were either uncertain about what action to take…or tensing up, preparing for the worst. "Should we do something?"

"No," Lugia spoke up before anyone could say anything. "Let me handle this." He took flight, landing on the Mercury platform/planet. "Ash, look at me!"

Squinting, eyes trembling and body shaking, Ash looked at Lugia. "L-Lugia?

"Look at me, Ash. Focus on my voice," Lugia said calmly, beaming soothing waves of calm into the Lucario's mind. "You are among friends, Ash. He is not here, and he cannot hurt you."

"It's…not him hurting me…that I'm afraid of…" Ash hissed.

"Nor should it be," Misty gloated.

"Listen to me, Ash. Remember your training. Take deep breaths. Release your anger, and let in peace. Release your anger, and let in peace. In and out. In and out," Lugia calmly intoned.

Ash took deep, ragged breaths. With every exhalation, his body shook a little less, and his Aura gradually diminished and regained its regular color. Within a few minutes, his Aura was still simmering around him, and his fists were still clenched, and his chest was heaving, but other than that he seemed to be all right. "I-I think I'm okay," Ash gasped. "I mean…I can still feel the anger raging, burning to be released, but I think I've got a hold on it…for now. Thank you, Lugia. Thank you…everyone."

"Daddy!" Tiny sobbed, hugging Ash. One by one, the rest of his friends joined the embrace, even a somewhat embarrassed Briney. Lugia smiled, relieved things were under control. For now, anyway.

"Ugh! So close!" Misty snarled, snapping her fingers.

"Phew! That was…interesting," Victini said, wiping away some sweat.

"That was a very close call…" Zekrom murmured.

"That poor boy," Reshiram said sadly.

"Hrmm…he still has not achieved balance," Kyurem hissed in disappointment.

"Did…you feel that, Mother? The power inside him?" Princess Boa said, not having removed her hand from her sword even though the danger seemed to have passed.

The Queen nodded slowly. "Yes…I think even I might have had difficulty fighting him if he were to lose all control."

"Oh, Ash…" Fantina whispered.

"…Interesting…" murmured Nuken.

"More like f_ascinating,_" Fennel said, glasses gleaming.

"Uh, while this is all very touching and stuff, shouldn't we be focusing more on the fact that we're apparently receiving a call from our greatest enemy?!" Dean pointed out.

"Oblivion's Shadow…" Bob hissed.

Remembering what had brought on Ash's near-breakdown, they all turned their focus back to the holographic screen. Now that they were paying more attention to it, and not Ash losing his mind, they realized the Shadow was standing outside somewhere, but it didn't look like anywhere on Earth. (Well, except for some deserts in Ameroupe.) He was standing in the middle of a dry, rocky landscape coated with fine red dust. The skies were reddish as well, a hue skies on Earth rarely if ever took.

"So…that's what Mars looks like?" Tiny asked.

"I can see why they call it the Red Planet," Pikachu commented.

"Most of the red is actually from a dust called iron oxide," Leo said. "It's like rust-colored talcum powder. Pretty much everything on the planet is covered in it."

Dean nodded. "Maintenance crews at the Nihilator fortress are always struggling to keep it out of everything. It has a nasty habit of jamming up gears and shorting out circuit boards and clogging the drains. Of course, not _all_ of that dust winds up there by accident…"

"Certainly made it easier for our friends to perform acts of sabotage," Bob agreed.

"So…that is Oblivion's Shadow…" the Queen murmured. "Our enemy, at last…"

"What _is_ he?" Boa wondered.

"A question we have been pondering for the last thousand years," Zekrom growled, his face twisted into a snarl as he gazed again on the being who had once destroyed the world…even if he looked different now than he had then. He was shorter, for one. And in black, rather than white.

_I know who he really is,_ Darkrai pondered to himself. _Too bad I can't tell any of them. Yet. Stupid contract. Oh well, that shouldn't be a problem for much longer._

"He wears a mask that looks like a mirror…he is not only hiding his face from the world, but from himself," Reshiram mused. "I wonder what truth he does not wish to face?"

"What do you want, Shadow?!" Ash snarled hatefully, his Aura flaring up briefly.

_I think that's a one-way transmission. He can't hear us,_ Dawn said.

"Oh," Ash said, nonplussed.

"Idiot," Misty grunted.

"People of Earth," the Shadow said in a heavily distorted, synthesized voice that made it impossible to tell what he really sounded like. His mask reflected a floating spherical device, probably some sort of automated camera, so he didn't have anyone else's voice or face to mimic at the moment. "I am Oblivion's Shadow, leader of the secret society of Nihilators, and I wish to speak with you about an important matter: the future of your planet."

"People of Earth? He's not just talking to us?" Lily instantly intuited.

The Queen shook her head. "It is being transmitted all over the Earth."

"Patch me into the Draconian Embassy immediately, I need to get in touch with the Empire to deal with this!" Nuken commanded.

Fantina rolled her eyes. "You could 'ave said please," she grumbled as a holographic screen appeared next to the Shedinja showing the face of one of the Dragon Pokémon in charge of the embassy. Nuken immediately began conversing with him.

"Over the last several days, you have probably heard a lot about me and my organization," the Shadow continued. "And none of it good, I'd wager."

"Got that right," Dean snarled.

"If he's going to try and deny our allegations on air, he's got another thing coming!" Bob growled.

"I wish to inform you that everything you've heard about us is true," Oblivion's Shadow said.

They blinked in surprise. "Okay, didn't see that coming," Dean said.

"He's not going to try to deny his crimes or spin them to his own advantage? Weird…what's he up to?" Leo wondered.

"In fact, we may even be a bit worse than what you have heard," Oblivion's Shadow said. "We take pride in our evil. There are many villains who would deny their evil, to try and justify their actions…but let's face it, we're trying to release the Ruler of Evil and destroy the world, and we've made thousands of Pokémon suffer in the process. How can that _possibly _be justified?"

"Got that right," Briney said.

"You have no doubt been told of my goals: that I seek to open a great door beneath Treasure Town, and release the Ruler of Evil from the Abyss. To do that I have been seeking seven very special keys. You have also no doubt been told that I only possess four of those keys, and the other three are out of my reach, seemingly for good. You believe yourself safe, since almost all of my minions have been wiped off the face of the planet, and the way for me to free the Ruler is forever denied to me. You believe that I am no longer a threat, and will soon be removed from power, and relegated to the annals of history.

"You believe wrong. Even here on Mars, I still have the power to inflict unimaginable suffering on the people of Earth whenever I choose. I am the most dangerous being you have ever met, and your destruction shall be by my hand and mine alone. Look to the skies, and you will witness my power firsthand," the Shadow said ominously.

"Look to the…what is he talking about?" Boa wondered in confusion.

Victini gasped. "Your Magisty, render the illusion of Earth into a real-time display from space! And enlarge it so we can actually see what's going on!"

Without even asking for clarification, the Queen did as her military commander bade. At first, it didn't look as if the hologram of Earth and the Moon had changed at all, other than growing significantly larger so they could more easily make out individual continents and even cities, including the one they were in now. And then they noticed the jump-gate by the Moon was glowing.

"He's powering up the jum- gate," Leo breathed. "He's sending something through!"

"Wait, how exactly are we getting this image to begin with? Do we have some kind of magical camera out in space or something?" asked a confused Pikachu.

"Somezing like zat," said Fantina.

"…Ah," Pikachu said.

"What is it? A fleet like the one Tarantulas led against us?" Lily wondered.

"Whatever it is, we're more than ready for it," Nuken said, turning away from his conversation with the Embassy representative. "I've ordered the Sky High division to be deployed immediately, and have received word that every capable nation is arming surface-to-orbit missiles and powering up their defense satellites. It's a good thing we aren't the only ones to have received this message. The Shadow will regret telling us about this attack ahead of time!"

Lily frowned. "Why is he doing that, anyway?"

Dawn narrowed her eyes. _You're right. Why warn us that it's coming? Something…doesn't feel right…_

"I am readying Fichina's defenses as well," the Queen said.

"And raising the planetary defense shield?" Leo asked.

There was a pause. "We…don't have one of those," Victini admitted.

Leo sighed in exasperation. "We really need to get around to installing one of those…"

The jump-gate flashed, discharging not a ship or even a fleet of ships but a massive chunk of rock that started hurtling on a direct course for Earth at alarming speeds. "It's a meteor!" Tiny cried unnecessarily.

"Just like in all those old disaster movies that are no longer quite in style! Mon, I liked those things before they started using unrealistic climate science to think of admittedly impressive and flashy but ultimately unlikely ways for the world to end with even flimsier excuses for how the main characters manage to survive everything collapsing around them," Leo groused.

"That meteor looks about as big as the one that nearly struck the Earth last year," Fennel observed.

Ash and Pikachu exchanged glances at this. Was this how the Nihilators had thrown a meteor at the Earth back then, too? "Last time we had Rayquaza to stop it," Ash said anxiously. "That's not an option now…"

"Nor is it necessary, not to disparage His Excellency at all," Nuken said. "After that…incident, we increased funding and training for the Sky High division so that they could perform meteor-smashing duties in case His Excellency was ever…indisposed, as he currently is. Plus, it's not like the rest of the world is sitting idly by, either. As soon as the meteor is in range, we'll let loose with everything we have!"

"The meteor is in my sights," the Queen said, her eyes fixed on some faraway place only she could see. Almost barely noticeable, a complicated glyph formed on the hologram of Earth right about where Fichina was located. "The spell is fully charged. Firing in three…two…one…"

In unison, thousands of threads and dots of light streaked out from the image of the Earth and shot towards the meteor (with one significantly larger and more colorful beam blazing out from Fichina). Individually they didn't look that impressive, but in unison, they made for quite the stunning light show.

"It's pretty," Tiny commented.

"The _Earth_ is firing a Macross Missile Massacre?! Sweet!" Leo gushed.

The thousands of points of light pierced the meteor. At first, it looked as if it had no effect, and everyone's tension and worry rose to even greater levels. And then…

One by one, shafts of light shot out from the surface of the meteor. Massive cracks zigzagged across its irregular form. With what would probably have been a terrifically loud explosion if it hadn't been in space and they weren't watching a hologram, the meteor shattered in a terrific conflagration, bits of debris flying everywhere and vaporizing in the massive fireball erupting from the space rock's core.

The Council chamber burst into cheers. "YATTA!" Leo yelled, kissing Lily full on the lips, leading to a make-out session that would probably have turned into something a bit more heated if they had been alone.

"Excellent work!" Nuken laughed. "I knew pouring so much money into the Sky High division would pay off!"

"Yeah! Take that!" Tiny cheered.

"In your face, Oblivion's Shadow!" Lugia, of all people, shouted.

"Well done, Your Magisty!" Fantina said as the Queen slumped back in her seat, taking a deep, shuddering breath while Boa and the three dragons leaned forward in concern.

"That spell always takes a lot out of me…still, I am glad I did not have to perform it alone," the Queen said with a smile. "Wasn't it wonderful, though? All the nations on Earth, working together in unison? Perhaps in trying to destroy us, the Shadow has given us the chance for something that has eluded our world for centuries…the possibility of true peace and unity between all the peoples of Earth."

"A lovely dream, Mother," Boa said with a smile.

"Yeah…but with no more wars, I'll be out of a job!" Victini complained.

"Couldn't you go back to being just the goddess of victory?" Fennel asked. "For sporting events and games and the like?"

"Yeah…but it wouldn't be the same, or satisfy my bloodlust," Victini complained. Fennel sweatdropped.

"Where was all of that ordinance last year, when we had to beat up Rayquaza to get him to do anything about it?" Pikachu wondered in astonishment as Dawn hugged him ecstatically.

"Who knows? At least we showed Oblivion's Shadow not to mess with our planet!" Ash said excitedly.

Briney frowned. "Did we, though? That seemed a bit…too easy…"

Seeming to agree with this, Oblivion's Shadow spoke up again. "Ah, so you think you've managed to thwart my evil plot. Well done. Well done." He clapped mockingly, and then leaned towards the camera menacingly. "Except it's not over yet."

Without warning, a large, dark object shot out of the dying flames from the destroyed meteor and streaked towards Earth.

They gasped. "There was something else inside the meteor?!" Fennel cried.

"Just like King Ghidragon, and more monsters from B-movies than I can count!" Leo said.

"Quickly, fire again!" Lugia shouted.

"I cannot," the Queen said, face white with horror. "There is no time to recharge the spell."

"Or for the land-bound forces to reload…and it's already passed into the zone where it's too dangerous to fire at it with whatever else we have without risking igniting the atmosphere or causing pieces of debris to impact all over the Earth, rather than in just one place!" Nuken cried.

"Then…then what can we do?!" Tiny yelled.

"…Nothing. Nothing at all," Briney whispered.

"See, this is why we need a planetary defense shield!" Leo yelled.

The dark object, whatever it was, smashed into the Earth. There was a flash of light, and then a pillar of flames surrounded by shockwaves of dust and smoke and fire rippling out in every direction rose into the air, obscuring the spot the object had hit as a dark cloud formed over the impact zone.

They all stared at the representation of the planet in wordless horror for a long moment. Then, Leo, nervously trying to break the mood, said, "W-well at least the planet didn't explode…"

"Where…where was that?" Pikachu whispered.

Fennel studied the globe for a moment. Her eyes widened in horror. "Treasure Town."

"No!" Fantina gasped.

"Treasure Town?!" Tiny cried.

"My…my mons…I had troops stationed there…" Nuken whispered.

"So did I," Victini said. "Trained most of 'em myself…"

"Some of my friends were there," Boa breathed. "I just spoke to them a few hours ago…"

Nuken whirled on the embassy official. "Get me in touch with Treasure Town! SOMETHING must have survived that! They…they can't all be…"

"There must be someone left," Victini said, desperately trying to get in touch with her own soldiers. "There must be. They…they wouldn't let something like that wipe them all out…"

"This…is a very dark day for all of us," the Queen said solemnly. She shut her eyes in grief. "And one that started out with so much promise…"

"Oh no…" Pikachu gasped, eyes widening in realization. "Professor Oak…Tracey…"

"My crew…" Briney whispered, clenching his claws.

"I'm on it!" Leo cried, whipping out his phone. He quickly dialed Tracey's cell number and held it up to his earhole. "It's ringing. Come on, Tracey, pick up. Pick up. Please, please pick up…" It went to voicemail. Frantically, Leo immediately redialed, tears starting to roll down his cheeks while Lily hugged him from behind, crying as well.

_We will kill them,_ Dawn said quietly. _We will kill them all._

_No…no…_ B whispered.

…_Mewgle is not the only monster that needs to be stopped,_ Choc-Oboh said.

_That…THAT…BASTARD!_ Darkrai roared.

Lugia and the Tao Trio bowed their heads in sorrow. Ash was trembling again. "How…how dare he."

"_Please…don't die…"_

"How…DARE he…" Ash growled, clenching his paws so tightly they drew blood. His Aura started to flare up again, its hue steadily darkening as his eyes started flickering white.

"_I'm so sorry…"_

"Yes," Misty whispered, actually looking remorseful. "How dare he…"

"As you can see, I have just wiped Treasure Town off the face of the Earth," Oblivion's Shadow said smugly, reminding everyone he was still broadcasting. "Why did I do this, you might ask? Why Treasure Town, rather than some other populated center? Because, simply put, clearing away Treasure Town will make it easier for me to open the Door. Yes, don't think I've given up on that. Do you really think my lacking all seven Star Badges is going to stop me? I have obtained a method by which I will soon be able to open the Door, no matter _how_ many Badges are in my possession! Within a matter of days, if not _hours_, I will open the portal to the Abyss and release the Ruler of Evil…and there is absolutely nothing you can do to stop me.

"Oh…and in case any of you are thinking of coming up here to stop me or to avenge whatever friends or family members or comrades I might have just killed…you may want to reconsider."

The camera swiveled around to reveal a towering mountain the same reddish hue as everything else on the planet, one so absolutely massive the camera couldn't even begin to capture the whole thing. The image blurred as the camera zoomed in on the foothills at the base of Coronet Mons, resolving itself to show that there were metal stakes driven into the ground at the foot of the great mountain…and chained to each stake by fetters that had hooks driven into their flesh rather than manacles were Pokémon. Starving, emaciated Pokémon, so thin many of them practically looked like skeletons with a thin layer of skin covering them, open wounds and sores surrounded by dried blood and the festering crusts of diseased flesh gaping all over their bodies, many missing limbs or eyes or ears or digits or other parts of their body, their lips blue and their extremities black from the cold. If it weren't for the fact that their chests were moving slightly to show they were breathing, it would be easy to assume that they were dead; they were lying very still, and covered with the same red dust as the rest of Mars, implying they had been there for a while. They didn't even have the strength left to shiver anymore.

In a flash of light, Oblivion's Shadow reappeared next to one of the prisoners, a Snubbul missing one of its ears, one of its eyes, and most of its nose, and telekinetically raised it into the air. The Fairy Pokémon gasped, new blood flowing from its wounds as it dangled limply in the air, red dust and droplets of blood sloughing off its form to spill to the ground below. "I am currently holding a number of Pokémon hostage, at least a few from every nation on Earth and several that are unaffiliated. The instant any of you set foot on Mars, they will die. Not all at once, but one for every minute you do not leave my world. And it will not be a pleasant death by any means. Allow me to demonstrate." He raised a four-fingered hand which he clenched into a fist, burning with Shadow Aura. With a fearsome shout, he thrust his fist forwards, burying it in the Snubbul's chest.

As the Snubbul jerked and coughed up blood, and the heroes gasped, Lugia's eyes widened in horror. "No…it _can't_ be…"

Shadow Aura blazing up around him, with another cry Oblivion's Shadow wrenched his hand out of the Snubbul's chest…and in so doing, took _something_ with him. It looked like a skeleton made of pure blue flames…flames that looked an awful lot like…

"Is that…Aura?!" Tiny whispered in horror.

"What…what is he doing?" Ash asked, eyes wide. His stomach was roiling, every Aura instinct in his body screaming that something unimaginably _wrong_ was happening.

"No…no, no, NO!" Lugia cried, eyes wide in disbelief.

The Snubbul screamed as the Shadow ripped the burning skeleton out of its body, a scream so full of agony and anguish and torment that even Nuken, long since used to tortured screams, actually flinched and shuddered at the sheer amount of pain and suffering in that exclamation. The Shadow looked at the skeleton clutched in his hand, and it compressed into a sphere of bright blue Aura that fit into his palm. He examined the sphere for a moment, then shook his head dismissively and crushed it with a simple flex of his fingers. The Snubbul gasped, shuddered, and spontaneously crumbled into ash, the gray and black matter staining the red soil around the stake. Oblivion's Shadow's Shadow Aura flared up again, a hint of blue in it that quickly turned pitch-black. "Ah…haven't done that in a while."

"What…what did he just…" Pikachu started.

"He removed…and CONSUMED…that Snubbul's Aura!" Lugia cried, a haunted look in his eyes.

They looked at him in astonishment. "WHAT?!" Tiny shouted.

"You…you can do that?!" Leo stammered.

"No, I cannot…but Aura users can, specifically, masters of Shadow Aura," Lugia whispered as old nightmares played before his eyes. "It is a forbidden technique, ranking up with the Anti-Life Equation as one of the vilest things the Dark Ones have ever conceived of…and Oblivion's Shadow knows how to use it! This…this is bad. This is VERY bad!"

"I take it it's not as simple as just killing someone, then?" Briney asked.

Lugia shook his head. "Not at all. Aura is the life force of all living things. _Removing_ it is bad enough…but to consume it, too? Not only does that prevent the Aura from flowing back into the Omniversal life source, but the consumer grows stronger, adding the Aura of their victims to their own!"

"Then he's devouring souls?!" Lily gasped.

Lugia blinked. "What? No, of course not. Aura is a completely different source of energy than souls, though they are somewhat related, granted."

"Oh," Lily said.

"I have never heard of such a thing…Brycen has certainly never mentioned it in his studies," the Queen commented.

"He would never have heard of it," Zekrom said gravely.

"After all, it is forbidden," Reshiram pointed out.

"And known only to the Dark Ones, whose knowledge was taken with them after their defeat…or so we all thought," Kyurem hissed.

"That is just a _taste_ of what is in store if you choose to darken my doorstep," the Shadow continued, cape blowing ominously as the Martian wind blew up dust in the background, obscuring the other prisoners and making him look like a black shadow set against a cloud of blood. "So, I recommend you do nothing but wait…until your world comes to an end." With that, the hologram vanished as he terminated his transmission.

"That…that…BASTARD!" Ash screamed. "Nng…ggghhhh…grr…GRAAAAAHHHHH!" His Aura blazed up again, cracking the platform and flinging his friends back, darkening at a prodigious rate. It would only be a matter of seconds before it reached pitch-black…and then, it would be too late.

"No! Ash, stop!" Lily cried.

"Oh come on, not again!" Leo yelled.

"Daddy, no!" Tiny cried, face scrunched up in pain from the negative emotions feeding back into him.

Lugia tried to connect to Ash's mind…and recoiled, features twisted in pain. "He's too far gone this time…I can't connect to him!"

"He can't be stopped now! Do it, Ash! Destroy! Destroy EVERYTHING!" Misty shouted.

"Ash, don't, we're all here for you! What the Shadow did is horrible, but don't do this!" Pikachu cried in alarm. But it was to no avail; Ash was so lost to his rage he didn't seem to be aware that anyone else was around him, even his best friends. His paw twitched, reaching for his sword. Was this it? Was he really going to have to keep his promise? Was he…was he going to have to slay his own brother?

Fortunately, it didn't come to that. "Sorry about this, kid," Briney said, drawing back his hammer.

Pikachu's eyes widened. "What are you…no, wait, don't-"

Ignoring Pikachu—like that's a shock—Briney swung his hammer through the air and smashed it into the back of Ash's skull just before his Aura could turn black. Instantly, his Aura dissipated. The Lucario blinked, a dazed look in his eyes…

And then he fell face-forward, collapsing on the platform. "Daddy!" Tiny cried, urgently rushing to his side.

"Dammit!" Misty cursed in disappointment.

"There. Problem solved. You're welcome," Briney said, putting his hammer away.

"Was zat really necessary?!" Fantina asked.

Briney shrugged. "Wasn't like any of you were doing anything other than gawking at him or trying to talk him down. Which wasn't working, might I add."

Fantina sighed. "No, I suppose it wasn't…"

Misty glared at him. _I should be angry he did that. Ash was about to finally lose it. So…_ She frowned in puzzlement. _Why am I…_relieved_ that he didn't?_

"Dude. That was intense," Leo said, stunned.

"Um. Wow," Victini said. "That was kinda scary. Even more than the last time"

"I thought he was training so this _wouldn't_ happen to him!" Boa said, shocked.

"That's what _I_ said before," Nuken said in annoyance.

Lugia sighed wearily. "It looks as if it wasn't enough."

"Which is what _I_ said earlier," Lily pointed out, miffed.

The Queen closed her eyes. "…Perhaps…we should reconsider sending Ash to Mars. In his current emotional state…if he should snap like that when next he sees Oblivion's Shadow…it is too great a risk to take. He is not ready for a mission of this magnitude."

"Oh, I don't know…" Nuken said, an eerie gleam in his eye. "If he were to react like that again…imagine what he could do to the Nihilators."

_And the rest of us. If Ash goes Void, he won't be able to distinguish between friend or foe,_ Dawn said, glaring at the Shedinja. _He will destroy everything._

Nuken blinked, surprised that Dawn, who was supposed to be an obedient subordinate, was actually talking back to him like that. "…Perhaps you are right," he admitted. "But from a tactical standpoint…you can see why it might be appealing."

"And from a scientific viewpoint, it would be fascinating!" Fennel said.

"And from the viewpoint of a friend, it's not," Lily said angrily. Nuken bowed out, seeing there was no point in arguing further. Fennel Mareepishly did the same, realizing she might have gone too far.

"Ash has to go," Lugia said sorrowfully.

Pikachu looked up at the sea god in alarm. "Are you serious? After what just happened?!"

"It is his destiny. He must go. And so must I," Lugia said, though clearly he wished it were otherwise. "I…did not do a good job of restraining him just now. I am sorry. I was…as shocked and distraught by what happened as everyone else. It will not happen again."

"It had better not," Briney said. "Or else the next time I swing my hammer at his head, it won't be a love tap." Lugia nodded in understanding.

Suddenly, Leo's phone rang. Everyone looked at him in surprise. "Uh, whoops, that's for me," he said in embarrassment. "Forgot to put the darn thing on vibrate before we got here…" He quickly answered it. "Hi, sorry, this isn't a good time…" He stopped, his eyes widening. "…Tracey? Tracey, is that you?!"

"He's alive?!" Lily asked excitedly.

"Yay!" Tiny cheered.

"Oh, thank goodness!" Pikachu said in relief.

"And if he's alive, then maybe so are my soldiers!" Nuken said excitedly.

"And mine!" Victini said.

"And my crew!" Briney said.

"And some of my friends who were there!" Boa agreed.

"Tracey, dude, you have no idea how glad I am to hear from you! I thought you'd bit it! I mean, that was pretty…" Leo frowned. "Wait, wait, slow down, I can barely understand you. What was that?" His eyes widened. "Say that again." Evidently, Tracey did, because he said a very bad word that Tiny was not supposed to know. "Oh, SHIT!" No, that wasn't the word Leo had said. He said this _after_ the word Tiny wasn't supposed to know.

"What did he say?" Ash asked, sitting up.

Everyone did a double-take. "What the…Ash?!" Pikachu cried in astonishment.

"Daddy!" Tiny squealed, glomping the Lucario.

"Yes?" Ash said, hugging his son absent-mindedly.

_Shouldn't…shouldn't you be unconscious?!_ Dawn asked.

"That hammer blow should've put you out for a LOT longer than a few minutes!" Briney said in disbelief. Surely he'd swung harder than that, hadn't he?

"I've gotten a lot stronger than I used to thanks to my training with Brycen," Ash explained. "You'll need to hit harder than that to put me down for the count for long. Well, that and I have a very hard head."

"You don't say," Leo said flatly.

"I…see," Briney said, very concerned to hear this. If that was true, how was he going to be able to…put down Ash, if the time came?

"Are you…okay? I mean, you were a little…" Pikachu trailed off.

"About to blow?" Victini prompted.

Pikachu glared at her. "Yes, that."

Ash grimaced. "I'm really sorry about that. That thing Oblivion's Shadow did, it…it was just so awful. A perversion of everything Aura Guardians stand for! I…kind of lost my cool. I'm sorry. I'll try not to do it again. In any event, I'm still really, _really_ angry, but I have it under control. Briney knocked some sense into me. Literally."

"No problem," Briney murmured, still understandably concerned that his strength might not be enough to take down Ash in the end, after all.

"Leo, what did Tracey say?" Ash continued as he stood up while holding Tiny in one hand, rubbing the back of his head with the other.

"Bad news, mon! While Tracey and Barbedo's crew—oh, and a few of the soldiers, I guess, but _not_ a lot of them—" Nuken, Victini and Boa exchanged worried looks at this. "Are all okay, Treasure Town's been totally wasted. That thing that fell from the meteor was another Arachnoblast; it's turned the town into a crater and exposed the ancient city at the bottom…and the Door."

Ash's blood ran cold. "That's not good."

"Oblivion's Shadow said he had found a way to open the Door without all seven Star Badges…" Lugia murmured. "This must have something to do with that."

"Some of the surviving soldiers and ships are fighting the Arachnoblast alongside the _Peeko XII,_" Leo continued.

"Well that's good news, my ship should be able to make mincemeat of that giant bug in no time!" Briney said.

"But it gets worse! Doctor Tarantulas has kidnapped Professor Oak!" Leo continued.

"WHAT?!" Team Aurabolt cried.

Leo nodded. "Yeah! Him and Chobin and that fat Emboar guy and the three legendary beasts! They snatched him in the chaos after the Arachnoblast crashed and dragged him off in the vicinity of the Door! He thinks they're heading for the tower!"

"The…tower? What tower?" Ash asked in confusion.

"There aren't any towers in Treasure Town. Nor would there be, if the town was destroyed," Lugia said.

Pikachu gasped. "They must be going for the tower underneath the Door!"

"The what now?" Ash asked blankly.

Pikachu gave him an annoyed look. "Don't you remember? The aliens that found the Door millions of years ago discovered the seal on the Door was weakening, so they constructed a barrier tower that mimics the same wavelengths of the Star Badges to help keep the Door shut. The Door is on top of it, the rest is underground."

"Oh, right," Ash said.

"There are even _more_ levels beneath that wretched place?! How far down does it go?!" Nuken wondered incredulously.

"The Professor's research indicates there's about a hundred levels below the city built by the aliens, actually," Leo said. "You know. For the tower and all."

Nuken's eye twitched. "Ah. Of course."

"Even if one had all seven Star Badges, the tower would still need to be unsealed before the Door could be opened," Lugia said. "They must be trying to activate the tower to prepare for whatever method Oblivion's Shadow was talking about!"

"And Professor Oak knows more about the workings of the civilization that _built_ the tower than anyone on Earth, so they took him because he must know how to make it function!" Lily realized.

"We have to stop them," Ash said. "Lily, open a portal to Treasure Town! We're going after them!"

"Right!" Lily said.

"Wait! You're going to Treasure Town?! After what just happened there?!" Victini asked.

"We have to. From what Tracey's said, it sounds like the remaining military is too busy fighting the Arachnoblast, so nobody's left to go after Tarantulas and the Professor; and it'll take too long for you or anyone else to get reinforcements there in time to help. We're in the best shape to do something about this, especially since we have experience fighting Tarantulas and his cohorts," Pikachu said.

"Then…I'm coming with you!" Victini said. "If there are any Fichinan troops remaining, they'll need my leadership."

"And mine, if any Draconian forces remain," Nuken said.

"I shall go as well, to help against the Arachnoblast," Lugia said. He grinned Mareepishly. "Besides, I don't think I'd exactly fit in the underground tunnels."

"And since you are currently down one member, I shall go with you to fight Tarantulas," Princess Boa volunteered. She glanced at her mother. "If her Magisty permits, that is?"

The Queen nodded. "Go. You will be of more use there than here. I will send reinforcements as soon as possible."

"Thank you, Mother," Boa said with a smile as she jumped in the air and landed on Team Aurabolt's platform.

"I guess this makes you an honorary member of Team Aurabolt," Ash said, handing her a scarf and a badge. "We'd give you the oath, but I don't think now is the time."

"Thank you. I will wear these with honor," Boa said, wrapping the scarf around her neck and pinning the badge to her breastplate.

"Sure is convenient we just happened to bring all our stuff with us to this meeting just in case something big happened," Leo commented wryly as he put on his sunglasses and strapped on his AdventDriver.

"For once, I'm not going to question it," Pikachu said.

"Will Sasha be okay with us replacing her like this, even temporarily?" Tiny asked uncertainly.

_She made the mistake of sleeping in. It's her loss,_ Dawn said bluntly.

_Heh, won't she be angry when she finds out what she's missed?_ Darkrai said.

"Fantina, will you come as well?" Lily asked as she started mustering her power to open a portal.

Fantina shook her head in bemusement. "I zink you 'ave zings well in 'and. Plus, ze girls would be upset if I went on anozzer adventure wizout zem, after what 'appened on ze Enchanted Express. I'll go round zem up and come down wiz ze reinforcements."

"We'd go, but…you know, its daylight, and we should probably save our strength for the Mars mission…" Dean said nervously.

"And you're scared," Bob said flatly.

"Hey! I am not!" Dean said angrily.

"It's all right," Pikachu said. "You guys are too important for the Mars mission. We can't risk taking you into a danger zone like this."

Dean smirked triumphantly at an annoyed Bob. "Yeah, what he said."

"All right. Is everyone here that's coming?" Lily asked. The ten other Pokémon nodded. "All right…then let's go!" She pulled out her wand, the crystal on the tip glowing. She drew a circle in the air, the crystal leaving a line of red magic behind it. When the circle was complete, the void in the center opened up to reveal a chaotic battlefield covered in smoke with a massive eight-legged monstrosity standing over a giant crater, screeching and firing lasers and missiles at the Pokémon and ships and one golden pirate vessel swarming around it and ineffectually firing their own attacks at it.

"And here I thought Treasure Town couldn't look any worse than it already was," Briney commented.

"Tracey? Sorry, but I'm gonna have to hang up on you, mon. Don't worry, though. We're on our way. We're gonna rescue Oak and set everything right," Leo said to his phone, a grin forming on his face.

Ash nodded. "Because we're a Rescue Team, and that's what we do!"

"Arceusspeed, all of you," the Queen said as Leo hung up.

"Thank you, Your Magisty," Ash said. "Okay, everyone…let's do this!" With a battle cry, the heroes charged through the portal and onto the battlefield, the gateway closing behind them.

"Such brave souls," an impressed Fennel commented.

"Indeed they are," the Queen agreed, while the Tao Trio nodded. "And I do believe…that they have what it takes to save this world."

Fantina frowned, remembering the out-of-control monster Ash had almost become. He had been nearly unrecognizable close to the end. "Or per'aps…to destroy it…"

…

Meanwhile, in Kanjohenn…

Wyvern Hill, located in the southeastern reaches of the Kanjohenn continent, was the most sacred place in the Draconian Empire, second only to Rayquaza's holy Sky Tower. The site where the famous treaty was signed swearing fealty from all the world's Dragon clans to His Excellency Rayquaza, the Hill was regarded by all as the birthplace of the Draconian Empire, and visited year-round by tourists and pilgrims and historic reenactionists.

A massive greensward lay before the hill, the field where the final battle of unification had been fought and the Treaty of Draconis signed, tended constantly by the site's caretakers to make sure it stayed clear. A great monument stood in the center of the field, right over the spot where the treaty had been signed; depicting a triumphant Rayquaza with the treaty-scroll clutched in one claw towering over the leaders of the dragon clans, who were bowing in submission to his awesome might. Around the base of the monument were inscribed the names of the loyal followers of Rayquaza who had died in the last battle, along with a plaque commemorating the forging of the Empire. The hill loomed up over the greensward, towering over the surrounding trees, shaped somewhat like a sleeping dragon curled around itself. On the hill's summit was a small marker where the child of legend who had called out to Rayquaza and stirred the Dragon God King's heart had stood when uttering his/her/its prayer to the heavens…and also where that child had been buried. It was a nameless grave, for Rayquaza had never learned the name of the child, something that aggrieved him to this day, or so the stories said. Flowers were deposited daily at the foot of the grave by Imperial citizens, to thank the child for bringing their divine ruler closer to Earth and creating the great nation they were proud to be a part of.

A small temple jutted out from the foot of the hill, a stone structure constructed to resemble the head and foreclaws of a dragon similar to Rayquaza, eternal flames burning in the claws while the dragon's jaws were open to allow entry to the chambers within its gullet and inside the hill itself. Deep within the temple, in the center of the hill, there laid a most sacred chamber; a shrine where Rayquaza was said to have slumbered for seven days and nights after the signing of the treaty, to rest after the many battles he had fought to build his empire. The shrine was a domed chamber with marble floors veined with jade, jade pillars with golden dragons wrapped around their lengths rising up to the ceiling, a mosaic depicting Rayquaza descending to meet the child of legend atop Wyvern Hill covering the ceiling, friezes of the many battles that Rayquaza and his followers had engaged in to unite the dragon clans covering the walls, a circular pool in the center of the room, and a massive jade sculpture of Rayquaza's head jutting from the back wall. Like the temple's entrance, the mouth of the sculpture was open…

Except it wasn't supposed to be. It had never opened in living memory. Not until the day before, anyway.

"Remarkable…" Rayquaza murmured as he stared at the open mouth. "It's been here all this time, and I had no idea…"

"How did you not know you had a place this sweet dedicated to yourself?!" Latios asked incredulously as he looked around the room in wonder.

"He was referring to the second, secret temple, not the shrine," Latias corrected her brother.

"Oh," Latios said.

"I had no knowledge that this place existed, either, until Your Excellency told me about it," Claire, the beautiful Dragonair High Priestess of the temple, said, bowing her head in reverence to her King. "Even so, I had not expected the way to open so soon…the Dragon Star is still a few days away from its zenith!"

"The power surge caused by Lily Yukihimi's evolution yesterday must have reacted with the Jade Orb's divine energies and caused the temple to open prematurely," Latias concluded. "Since the power that was sleeping within her was taken from Rayquaza long ago by her wicked mother, it was understandable that awakening it might cause a sympathetic reaction from a similar power source."

Rayquaza looked at Latias in concern. "I'm…not going to have to take that power from her, am I?"

Latias shook her head. "You no longer need it. It is hers now and hers alone. She will make good use of it, just as you will make good use of the power awaiting you within."

"I am sorry that I cannot tell you anything about what you may encounter in there, Your Excellency," Claire said regretfully. "My predecessors never left any information about this place or what these 'Trials of Kinghood' you must take entail."

"Much has been lost over the millennia," Rayquaza murmured.

"And much will be regained," Latias said confidently.

Rayquaza sighed and closed his eyes. "I wish you could come in with me, Latias. I…do not feel comfortable doing this on my own."

"What awaits you is something you and only you can accomplish," Latias said. "The power is meant for you. I have no place there." She smiled. "Don't worry, though. I shall wait for you until your return, no matter how long it takes."

"Me too," Latios said. "Er…I mean, not like I have anything better to do anyway," he said quickly. It wasn't like he _cared_ that deeply what happened to Rayquaza after all. Obviously. Nobody bought it.

Rayquaza smiled gratefully. "Thank you, both of you. I bet Nuken is beside himself that he cannot be here as well."

"I'm sure that the instant he gets back from Fichina, he'll zip right over here," Latios said. He chuckled. "Heck, I doubt even the barbarians attacking Pokémon Square would make him leave this spot! He'd probably conduct the whole war effort from right in this room!"

"I hope he doesn't," Rayquaza said in alarm. "And that you do not miss the fighting for my sake. The Pokémon of the world need the Guardian of the Light. You are of no use to them sitting in here."

"And I am of no use to _you_ away from your side," Latias said softly, touching his cheek. "My king."

Rayquaza's eyes widened at this, and a smile crossed his face. "Then…then I will endeavor not to be away from _you_ for too long…my Queen."

Latios made a face as they stared at each other lovingly for a few moments. "Are you two going to kiss already?"

Latias smiled as Rayquaza flushed and Claire averted her gaze, not considering herself worthy of watching her exalted king and destined love…er…make out. "I certainly wouldn't be averse to it."

"I would be," Rayquaza said much to her disappointment. "I dearly wish to kiss you, Latias, and be with you always. But in my current state…like this…I am unworthy of your affections."

"I already love you, Rayquaza. I always shall. You know this," Latias said in disappointment. "You don't need to prove anything to me."

"Perhaps not…but I must prove something to myself, first," Rayquaza said, gently pushing her claw away. "Until I am a God-King once more, equal in status and power and divinity to one such as yourself, I am a mortal like any other…and undeserving of one such as you."

"Gods have taken mortal lovers before," Latias pointed out.

"I do not seek to be your lover. I seek to be your _husband_," Rayquaza said firmly. "And I cannot be that until I am again what I once was, what I am meant to be…Rayquaza, Dragon-God King, ruler of the Draconian Empire, Master of the Skies, Guardian of the Omniverse…and father of our daughter."

She leaned forward and kissed him on the forehead, causing his whole form to feel full of light. Literally, he actually glowed for a few moments. "Then go, my love. And become again the dragon you were meant to be."

"I shall not return until I am," Rayquaza promised, reluctantly pulling away.

"Hey," Latios said, drifting over and putting a claw on Rayquaza's shoulder. "Take care, in there. I don't want my sister to be a widow before she's even married…again…however that works."

"I have no intention of losing my life. Especially since I'm not sure I can, in there," Rayquaza said. "But I appreciate the sentiment nonetheless. Thank you, Latios."

"Hey…no problem," Latios said with a smile. _And to think, I once hated the guy…_

_Funny how things change, isn't it brother?_ Latias asked with a laugh.

_Yeah…I guess it is,_ he agreed.

Rayquaza took a deep breath, squared his shoulders, and turned to face the open jaws. "All right. It's time to face my destiny." Slowly and with great purpose, he started walking towards the stone mouth.

"You know, something as momentous as this kinda deserves more attention than just the three of us, don't you think?" Latios asked.

"We wanted to have a great celebration, with musicians and singers and dancers and the like, but His Excellency vetoed it," Claire said sadly. "He said that this should be a 'private affair.'"

"And he was right to do so," Latias agreed. "This is not something too many people need to see." She smiled as Rayquaza pulled himself over the lower lip of the statue's jaws, squeezing between two of the teeth, and started climbing up the tongue towards the mysterious void at the back of the throat, one that not even Latias' eyes could penetrate.

That smile faded, however, when she found herself struck by a sudden premonition. _Something…something's not right. Something's…off. But what? What's-_

And it was then, and only then, that she noticed a piece of paper affixed to one of the interior joints of the stone jaws, a paper with a 'D' written in Unown script on it…a 'D' that started flashing red the instant Rayquaza walked past it, unaware of its presence. "RAYQUAZA, LOOK OUT!" she screamed both vocally and telepathically, her voice shaking the entire temple and causing everyone within several miles to flinch as their minds were bombarded by her psionic shout.

Startled, Rayquaza looked back. "Latias? What-"

And that's when the slip of paper exploded.

Rayquaza cried out and vanished into the darkness as the blast flung him down the statue's throat, while the jaw joint (known in the medical field as the temporomandibular joint, in case you were wondering) shattered, causing the stone mouth to slam shut with an impact that shook the chamber and boomed throughout the temple with a rather ominous finality.

"No," Latias whispered when the dust cleared and she saw that the great stone mouth was closed. "No…no, no, no, NO!"

"What…what just-" a startled Latios stammered, barely able to think over the waves of crushing sorrow and despair surging from his sister, their intensity almost overwhelming him since she seemed to have forgotten, in the heat of the moment, that mortals (or lesser immortals) weren't quite equipped to handle the emotions of a greater divinity.

"It was Legion!" Latias cried. "They planted a trap for Rayquaza!"

"What?! But how?! They're locked up in Pokémon Square!" Latios protested.

Claire nodded, shocked by what had just happened. "And the statue only opened just last night, and has been heavily guarded since then! When could that foul creature, or anyone else, have put that bomb there?!"

"Was it as heavily guarded a few hundred years ago, the last time the Dragon Star arose?" Latias asked grimly.

Claire's eyes widened in horror. "Oh…oh _no_…"

"What?! No way! They couldn't…they couldn't have planned this _that_ far in advance, could they?!" Latios asked in disbelief.

"Unown don't see time the same way most people do," Latias whispered. "There's no reason they couldn't have anticipated that something like this might happen, and prepared for it."

"They sure didn't seem to anticipate _Ignik_ of all Pokémon capturing them," Latios pointed out.

"Which is precisely why we chose him, since he was someone they would _never _expect." Latios frowned, her face creasing in concern. "Unless…could they have planned for that too, and _let_ themselves be caught to further some nebulous plot, that we haven't even _begun_ to fathom yet?!"

"We can worry about that later, when we get back to town and kick their collective heinies!" Latios said. "Right now we need to get that thing open and help Rayquaza!"

Latias sank to the floor, her psionic powers failing her as despair took its grip in her soul, her wings drooping to the ground, her luminescence fading and the whole room seeming darker and grungier in its absence. Sparkling tears fell from her eyes and landed on the ground, causing beautiful glowing crystals to briefly sprout up, then splinter and fall to pieces. Latios found himself feeling like crying as well and wasn't sure why. "We cannot."

"Huh? What do you mean, we can't? You're the Guardian of Light, use your Guardian powers or something!" Latios said incredulously.

" I…_I_ cannot." She sobbed and shook her head. "Useless, yet again. Always _useless!_"

Claire shook her head sorrowfully as Latias started blubbering and screaming about how useless she was and Latios looked on in confusion. "She cannot. The only thing that can open that door is the power of the Dragon God King…except that the gateway has now been _destroyed. _It _cannot_ be reopened, not even when the Dragon Star reaches its zenith."

Latios' eyes widened in horrified realization. "Then…wait…you're saying that…Rayquaza's _trapped_ in there?!"

Claire's big dark glossy eyes moistened with grief as she miserably shook her head. "Even if—no, _when_—His Excellency passes the Trials of Kinghood…he might not be able to return to us."

And it was then that Latios joined his sister on the floor, wrapped his arms around her like a good brother should, and wept alongside her. And back in Pokémon Square, in their prison, Legion spelled out HAHAHAHAHA over and over again, which confused the heck out of the soldiers guarding them, let me tell you that much.

…

Meanwhile, on Mars…

Being one of the leaders of a secret rebellion inside an enemy stronghold was a very stressful position. You had to pretend to be a prisoner and allow your captor to do all sorts of horrible things to you while resisting the ever-increasing urge to rip his head off and feast on his blood. You had to watch on helplessly as your friends and subjects were tortured and abused by your foes, and bite down on the urge to do something about it because the time was not yet right to strike back and claim freedom. You had to listen in ever-growing frustration as the enemy continued plotting and doing horrible things to your home, and again, be unable to do anything about it without blowing your cover.

Plus, having the thoughts and feelings of hundreds of different Pokémon running through your head day in and day out could get kind of tiring after a while. As much as she loved her co-conspirators and vampiric servants, now and then Gardevoir couldn't help thinking to herself that a little private time might be nice once and a while. The fact that everyone else could hear her thinking that and were understandably offended didn't help matters.

As such, it was always a relief whenever she got a chance to enter her meditative state, delve into her subconscious, and enter the door leading into the mind of her dear friend—whom she was growing fonder and fonder of by the day—and sit down for tea, just the two of him. Well, him, her, and her three split personalities, anyway. It was always refreshing to be able to just relax and vent about how exhausting her day had been, how frustrated she was getting at how slow this rebellion was moving and how Lovrina's continued assertions that she had a thing for her captor were getting on her nerves, and how more than anything she wanted to smash Oblivion's Shadow's mask, drive fragments of that godsawful mask into his eye sockets, and thoroughly dominate his mind and will to the point where he would be an obsequious slave crawling at her heels so desperate for her affection he would even allow her to beat him half to death just so that he might feel her touch. (Disturbingly, the idea had come from her angel self, not the demon, although the demon had agreed that sounded like a lot of fun and 'very kinky.') Her friend always had a kind word and a soothing cup of tea ready to make her feel better. It was getting harder and harder to leave his mind every time she visited, though, and once or twice she had half-entertained the notion of just staying there permanently and letting the rest of the world take care of itself. It had done so long before she'd become involved in it, after all.

She never took such thoughts seriously, of course. There were too many people counting on her, and she could never really even _think_ of turning her back on them. Still, it was nice to have this little refuge away from the unpleasantness that was the rest of her life and one friend who wasn't counting on her to save him. Yes, she'd promised to rescue him, but he'd told her to take her time and not to rush things, which she found a welcome change from the desperate pleas of some of the unluckier Pokémon in the rebellion's ranks whose living circumstances were…far less comfortable than her own. She sympathized with them, of course she did, especially when she could literally feel their pain, but there wasn't really a lot she could do about it at the moment. She felt selfish thinking these things, of course, which was another reason it was good to have a friend to talk to about it that wouldn't judge or get angry at her about how she was feeling.

But of course, she didn't spend _all_ her time with her friend complaining about her imprisonment. The more they talked, the clearer his appearance became, and the more of his memories he started to recover. The more he remembered of himself, the more Gardevoir found she liked him, for he was very passionate, compassionate, and well-learned about all sorts of fascinating subjects, and it was a pleasure to converse with him about all sorts of books she'd read and plays she'd seen that few of her friends back home had really cared that much about. They both learned from each other in equal measure; he had been imprisoned for so long that he knew very little about how culture had advanced in the outside world, and she in turn learned things from him that must have come from before the great cataclysm, things that were lost when the world was destroyed. Which was no surprise, really, since he'd apparently been around back then. (Well, so had she, but she remembered a lot less of it than he seemed to, even though both of them had lost much of their memories of those days.) She adored listening to his stories of the world as it was back when humans had still been around, which he seemed to recall more and more of the longer they conversed, and it filled some holes in her own memory of the time she had once belonged to. It was fascinating listening to him tell tales of the peoples and cities he had seen, of the everyday lives he had witnessed and occasionally interacted with. It reminded Gardevoir of many of the things she'd seen while she was a disembodied spirit, though she couldn't remember many of her experiences from that thousand-year state very well either.

However, the more he remembered, the more…uneasy he became. "I do not know why," he confessed one day as they had biscuits on the balcony of his palace overlooking the vibrant valley that, he believed, he had once called home. "But the more I recall of the past, the more I am worried about what I will discover of myself. I have experienced…flashes, of violence, and pain, and great anger. An anger that could have ended the world."

"You don't seem very angry now," the angel had pointed out.

"That is because I do not remember," their friend had pointed out. "I am concerned that, once I truly remember everything, I might be angry once more…and no longer the person you call friend."

"No matter what kind of person you become, I promise you I shall _always_ be your friend," Gardevoir said earnestly.

"And maybe more, huh?" the demon murmured under her breath, causing the vampire to smirk and the angel to elbow her.

Their friend sighed. "I hope you are right to put such faith in me."

"I _know_ I am," Gardevoir said. "After all, I can't imagine someone who's truly evil could create a place as wonderful as this," she said, gesturing to the valley below.

Her friend looked out at the valley, and the thriving Pokémon below, and considered this. "Perhaps you are right," he said, though he did not seem entirely certain. "In any event, I'm still a long way off from regaining all my memories, so until then we might as well turn our conversation to other matters. Tell me, have you ever read the works of Volbeataire?"

She had, in fact, and they had spent many hours discussing literature and poetry after that before she'd had to leave once again. The topic of their earlier conversation was never far from their mind, though. Despite her friend's concerns, she desperately wanted to know who he was and what he looked like. She wanted a face, and a name to attach to that face. She knew what it was like to be without a past, or even a name, and while she had come to terms with it for the most part, if there was a way to help her friend remember who he had used to be, then she wanted to do everything possible to assist him.

The fact that she couldn't exactly kiss him if he didn't have a face to kiss had nothing to do with it whatsoever. Really. No matter what the demon said.

So, she was understandably excited when one day she came to call…and found that her friend's appearance was no longer blurred at all. "I-I can see you!" she said in astonishment.

"And _what_ a sight to see," the demon said, eyes wide in admiration. The angel blushed and looked away.

"Then…does this mean…" the vampire asked.

Her friend sighed, looking oddly melancholy for someone who had apparently just gotten their identity back. "That I remember my name, and who I am, and how I got here? Yes. Yes, I do."

"Then tell us!" Gardevoir said excitedly. "We want to know everything!"

Her friend looked away, a pained expression on his face (which she could see at last!). "I…am not certain that is a good idea."

She was taken aback. "What? But why not?"

He took a deep breath and squeezed his eyes (and what lovely eyes they were) shut. "Because…once you know who I am…who I _really_ am…I am not certain you will wish to be my friend any longer. And, more than anything else, I do not wish to lose your friendship, Gardevoir. It has been…a great comfort to me in my isolation, and I am not certain I would be able to survive our parting."

Gardevoir frowned. "That's preposterous. I already promised that I will always be your friend. Whatever you have to tell me can't possibly change that!"

Her friend winced. "You…may have been too hasty in making that promise."

The vampire laughed. "Well, it's not like you're actually Oblivion's Shadow or something like that, because that's the only thing _I_ can think of which would make us hate you! And we all know that's preposterous, right?" There was a long, long silence. The vampire's smile faded. "…Right?"

"No…no, you can't…please tell me you're not…" Gardevoir whispered in horror as her other three selves tensed.

"No! No, no, no!" her friend said quickly, much to her relief. "Well…that is to say…it's…complicated."

Her sense of dread, which had faded when he had denied that he was Oblivion's Shadow, rose back up again. "What are you talking about?"

He sighed, shoulders slumping in defeat. "Very well. I suppose you deserve to hear this." He gestured at the waiting chairs. "Please, sit down. I need a moment to prepare myself."

Somewhat warily, they all sat down around the tea table while their host walked to the edge of the balcony and stared out at the majestic landscape below. He cut a striking figure, especially since he now actually _had_ a figure. He had a humanoid posture, but with a few feline features. His body was grayish-purple with a purple underside and a long, purple tail. He had three circular digits on each appendage. He had an opposable toe on the inside of each foot, as well as two others that faced forward. He had purple eyes and two short ears. He also had a tube extending from the back of his skull to his spine. He didn't look like any other creature Gardevoir had ever seen before, and she couldn't stop _looking_ at him…for more than one reason.

Finally, he turned around, and she felt a thrill of pleasure when he focused those deep purple eyes on her. "First of all, I suppose you need to know my name. I am called…Mewtwo."

She blinked, snapping out of her reverie at that. "Wait…Mewtwo? That sounds almost like…" the demon started.

"Exactly what you think it means. I am a clone of Mew, made long ago by wicked humans for…unscrupulous reasons," Mewtwo said, a look of old pain flashing across his face.

They looked at him in awe. "Then…does that mean…you are a god?" the angel asked.

"I am not sure _what_ to call myself, really," Mewtwo confessed. "I am a clone of a god, of one of the highest gods of all, and yet I am not like Her. No…I will never be able to reach her level of purity, of compassion, of-"

"Unbridled libido?" the demon joked, breaking some of the tension and causing them all to laugh.

"Thankfully, no," Mewtwo said. "But I am, ah…fully equipped, in that respect."

"_Really,_" the demon said, a hungry look on her face.

"You do not look like Mew, though," Gardevoir pointed out.

Mewtwo grimaced. "The humans made some…modifications when they created me. They were trying to surpass Mew, to create a being mightier than the gods themselves, the strongest Pokémon in the world. But while my powers are indeed vast—I have surpassed many of those called Legendary Pokémon in strength and skill, and am indeed probably the strongest Pokémon alive- I am still _nothing_ compared to Mew. Once, I was unable to accept that. I desired to prove myself better than Her, that I was more than just a clone. I…failed, thankfully, in part due to our mutual friend."

"Ash…" Gardevoir whispered.

Mewtwo nodded. "In my anger, I sought to destroy the world. He and Mew stopped me and showed me that even if I was a clone, I still was a person, and that there was worth in my own existence."

"That sounds like Ash," the vampire said fondly.

"Wait, you tried to destroy the world?!" the angel cried.

Mewtwo winced. "I, ah, may have created a super-cell storm intended to wipe out all life on Earth and repopulate it with my own superior cloned Pokémon. Don't worry; I was stopped before anyone got hurt, though. Well, Ash died, but he got better."

They blinked. "Wait, _what?!_" the demon asked in confusion.

"Yeah, I still don't really know how that happened," Mewtwo confessed. "He stupidly threw himself between attacks Mew and I were throwing at each other and died, and then everyone cried and he was miraculously back to normal. I think Mew used Her powers to bring him back to life because he's the Chosen One and She still needed him for something, but whenever I asked Her about it, She's been rather evasive."

"Then you're on a first-name basis with the Holy Mother?!" the angel asked in awe.

Mewtwo blushed. "Actually, I…took to calling Her mother. She encouraged it, really." They all cooed at that, causing his blush to deepen. "Of course, that never stopped Her from trying to proposition me, but…you know. Fertility goddess and all."

"Did you and She ever…?" Gardevoir asked, feeling oddly possessive of Mewtwo.

"No! No no no no no. No," Mewtwo said, even redder now, much to her relief. "There, ah, were times I considered it—I mean, really, who _wouldn't_ want to do that? She's pretty much the most beautiful creature that's ever lived _anywhere_—uh, no offense to you, I mean, you're very beautiful too, in a different way, and, uh, maybe I should just shut up and keep going before I say something incredibly stupid-but I honestly thought it would be strange to do it with someone that was sort of my mother, even though she said that since we were both deities—or close to deities, in my case—it would be fine."

"Darn," the demon grunted, causing everyone else to stare at her.

"Anyway," Mewtwo said with a cough, continuing. "It's a good thing Mew _did_ revive Ash, because he wound up saving my life some time later. I took my clones and relocated elsewhere to live apart from the rest of the world, but the humans who made me found me, and Ash helped to rescue the lives of myself and my friends from those villains."

"It's what he's best at," the vampire said, to which they all nodded in agreement.

"After that incident, I decided it might not be a good idea to have a set address where my enemies could find me, so I scattered my clone Pokémon—my children—around the world, and started wandering from place to place. I had many adventures along the way, some of which I've already told you about, and others of which you have yet to hear," Mewtwo continued.

"That sounds fascinating! I'd love to hear about more of them!" Gardevoir said.

"And I hope we will have time to speak of them…and that you will still want to hear them, after you hear the end of my tale," Mewtwo said quietly. "For years, I wandered, making friends as well as enemies. Once or twice I even ran into Ash again. Other times my creators found me and I was forced to flee. Eventually, however, I grew weary of my travels and decided to settle down in a peaceful little valley in the middle of nowhere. _This_ valley, to be precise," he said, gesturing at the landscape surrounding them.

"You picked a beautiful place to call home," the vampire said admiringly.

Mewtwo laughed. "Actually, when I first found this place it was rather barren and lifeless. However, using my powers and intellect—I do not mean to brag, but I am not only the strongest Pokémon alive, but quite possibly the most intelligent as well—I was able to bring life to this valley and transform it into the paradise you now see. Somehow my clone Pokémon, who had been traveling as well, one by one found their way here and settled in the valley. While I was surprised that they were willing to give up whatever lives they might have made for themselves and come back to me, I cannot say I was unhappy to see them all again. Desiring to be a better mon than I once was, I used my experiences and knowledge to craft a nearly utopian society for them to dwell in and prosper, free of strife and sorrow. I watched over them from my castle here on the hill, spending my days thinking of new ways to improve the lives of my people and further push the boundaries of science. And while we lived in solitude, hiding from our enemies and those who might capture and exploit us, I always resolved that, once the world was ready for us, I would share the wonders I had created with the rest of the world."

"…It sounds beautiful," Gardevoir whispered, enthralled by how passionate, how _alive_ he looked when he talked about his accomplishments.

Mewtwo smiled wistfully. "It was." He closed his eyes and turned back to the edge of the balcony. "And then…the betrayal came."

And suddenly, they were cast from a paradise into the Abyss. Mewtwo's marvelous palace lay about them in smoldering ruins. Beneath them, the valley floor was damp and muddy and strewn with broken branches and trees in parts where floods had washed across the plains. In other places, the rock had been baked so hot that it fused into glass, or even melted down into bubbling pools of magma. Some of the forest was still burning, while the rest of it was almost paradoxically frozen solid, turning it into an arctic wasteland. It was as if the seasons and the very elements had converged on Mewtwo's home and torn it apart.

And everywhere, everywhere there were bodies strewn about in varying states of disrepair. Some were simply lying still, as if they were only sleeping. Far more were dismembered, or frozen into blocks of ice and shattered, or turned into crackling skeletons, or reduced to soot and ashes.

The four Gardevoirs staggered in shock and horror, the smell of charred and burned flesh filling their lungs, making it difficult to breathe; their ears filled with the sound of crackling flames…and somewhere, from the valley below, a howl of heartbreaking anguish could be heard, the bereaved wails of one who had lost absolutely everything. Gardevoir looked around in a daze, jaw dropped and eyes wide in shock, unable to take it all in...and wondering why something about it seemed familiar. "What…what is…"

"What the fuck HAPPENED?!" the demon cried.

Mewtwo did not turn from the balcony, but Gardevoir could still tell that he was crying even if she couldn't see his face. "During my years of travel, I met many Legendary Pokémon. Most of them I befriended, or at least became acquaintances with, though some I got off on the wrong foot with. Once I settled down, Mew introduced me to the others on one of Her infrequent visits. We became…close. Friends, even. They named me an honorary Legendary Pokémon and inducted me into their ranks as guardians of the Earth. I was…elated. I felt at last as if I truly belonged somewhere, among friends and others like me. As the years here went by, they visited me frequently, and we became better and better friends, as I helped them with some of their troubles and they helped me with some of mine.

"And then one day, without warning, several of them showed up on my doorstep and laid waste to the valley. They destroyed everything I had created and killed all of my people. They even tried to kill me, and very nearly succeeded, but they underestimated just how much like Mew I was…and did not realize that, even if killed, I cannot stay dead." He stared down into the valley. A lone figure could barely be seen staggering among the ruins and bodies, wails of grief rising from its form. "There are times I wish I had not come back."

"That…that can't be!" the angel protested. "Why…why would they…"

"How could they do something as terrible as that?!" the demon demanded.

"Because," Mewtwo said, turning to face them once more, his eyes red and tears staining his cheeks. "Of a grave misunderstanding."

"What…kind of misunderstanding?" Gardevoir asked.

"They told me that Mew had approached them and told them that my creations and I were abominations, that in our valley we were secretly plotting to take over the world as I had once before, and that in my castle I had created a number of horrific weapons of mass destruction that I would soon unleash upon the rest of the world, and wipe out all life on Earth," Mewtwo said sadly.

"WHAT?!" the Gardevoirs cried.

"That's preposterous! Mew would _never_ do something like that!" the angel insisted.

"Not unless you actually _were_ doing something like that, which we all know you weren't!" the vampire said, though there was a hint of doubt in her voice.

"You are correct on both counts," Mewtwo said. "I was not trying to destroy the world…and Mew had not ordered them to destroy my home."

They were confused at this. "Then…what happened?" asked the puzzled Gardevoir.

"Aha! They were lying and secretly jealous of how prosperous your people were, so wanted to wipe you out so they didn't look as bad!" the demon guessed.

"That's preposterous!" the angel said.

"You're right, it is," Mewtwo said, much to the demon's surprise. "You see, even though they were indeed ordered to destroy my home…the one who did so wasn't Mew. It was an impostor, pretending to _be_ Mew. They never questioned Her orders, as out of character as they sounded, because it never occurred to them that anyone would have the _audacity_ to pretend to be the Holy Mother. Even the legendaries who refused to follow Her order never thought that She might have been a fraud, and just assumed it was some sort of test of their moral fiber, the kind the Higher Powers occasionally give to their subordinates to see if they are truly worthy to continue being gods."

"Then why did the others obey an order so obviously out of character?!" Gardevoir demanded.

"Because they assumed it was a test of their obedience, the kind the Higher Powers _also_ occasionally give to their subordinates to see if they are truly worthy to continue being gods," Mewtwo said flatly.

"…Ah," Gardevoir said.

"Yeah, I can see where that sort of thing might get confusing," the demon said bluntly.

"But…who was the impostor? Who could possibly have been so horrid as to _do_ something like this?!" the angel demanded.

"The impostor was a servant of the Ruler of Evil," Mewtwo explained. "Though I did not learn this, and the reason _why_, until after…" Mewtwo hesitated, and then looked away. "…What happened next is the part you may not wish to hear."

"Tell us," Gardevoir ordered…although a small part of her was slowly starting to put together what he might be about to say.

"…As you can no doubt understand, I was in a…very dark place," Mewtwo said quietly. "Everything had been stripped away from me. Destroyed by those I thought I could trust. I had thought I finally had a place to call home. A respite from my struggles against an uncaring world. And once again, my hopes of living in peace had been cruelly dashed before my eyes. 'When would I learn? When would I learn to stop hoping things would change, that so long as I existed, everything in this world, even the powers that be themselves, would seek my destruction, just because of what I was?' Thoughts like these were racing through my head as I stared at the corpses of my friends…my family…"

"And you decided…that if the world would so callously throw you away…then maybe it was time you did the same to the world," Gardevoir whispered.

Her other selves looked at her in horror, remembering as well as she where they had last heard that sentiment. "No…you can't mean…" the angel said incredulously.

"Overwhelmed by grief and betrayal, my mind…split in two," Mewtwo said. "A part of me, the…better part of me, I like to think, unable to accept what had happened to it, retreated into itself and shut out the rest of the world, until it forgot everything, even itself. And the rest…" He clenched his fists. "That old anger and hatred…that feeling of inadequacy and alienation, the darker side of me, rose to the surface and took over…and in so doing, was Mewtwo no more, but…"

"Oblivion's Shadow," Gardevoir breathed.

Mewtwo nodded. "Yes. Well, Lord Null first, but Oblivion's Shadow after."

"Then…then you are…" the angel stammered in horror.

"You're our fucking greatest enemy!" the demon screamed, backing away from Mewtwo.

Mewtwo closed his eyes sorrowfully. It was just as he had feared. "Yes," he said. "In a very real sense, I am. I am the destroyer of Earth, the founder of Annihilation and the Nihilators, the restorer of the ways of the Dark Ones, and the cause of all the pain and suffering that has been inflicted on you since your abduction and imprisonment."

"And in an even realer sense, you're not," Gardevoir said firmly, surprising everyone except for her vampire figment, who nodded approvingly.

"Wh-what?! What are you talking about, Gardevoir?! He's-" the demon started.

"As much a prisoner of Oblivion's Shadow as the rest of us," Gardevoir said decisively. "The mon I've become friends with over the last few days, the mon I've grown close to and even…even started to have feelings for…that is _not_ Oblivion's Shadow!"

Mewtwo recoiled in astonishment. Had…had she just said… "Gardevoir…"

With great strides, Gardevoir crossed the broken patio and put a hand on Mewtwo's cheek. "You are a good mon, Mewtwo, even if you have had a troubled past…a very, _very_ troubled past. What happened to you was horrific. Burying a part of yourself, to escape from the reality of it all…is tragic, but something that many victims of traumatic incidents do to hide from their suffering. That…thing, that _darkness_ controlling your body and calling itself Oblivion's Shadow is _not_ you and never was! It may have been born from you, it may have once even been a part of you, but it has grown into something so awful it might as well be another person altogether! Even at your worst, were you _ever_ capable of anything even as _remotely_ as evil as what he has done?!"

"I-I tried to wipe out all life on Earth," Mewtwo protested.

"With a storm, a natural disaster. The Shadow waged a massive campaign of devastation and destruction when he was Lord Null that _succeeded_ in destroying the world, and is now committing torture, genocide, and countless other atrocities to release the Ruler of Evil, who will probably destroy the entire Omniverse! Even when you were full of anger at the world and everyone in it, would you have ever sunk to such depths?" she pressed.

"…No. No, I wouldn't have…" he murmured, light rekindling in his purple eyes.

"Because even then, you were a better mon than the Shadow ever was!" Gardevoir insisted. "And you are a better mon now. Even if you ran away from your problems back then, at least a part of you was still able to remain good, even while the rest of you descended into madness and evil. And now that you are awakened again, now that you remember who you used to be, you can put a stop to the wickedness your other half has wrought! Together, we can restore you to control of your body…and put an end to Oblivion's Shadow once and for all!"

_And then,_ she thought to herself. _Perhaps…we can be together._

And ever so slowly, Mewtwo began to smile. "…You are right, Gardevoir," he said, hope lighting up his face and making him more appealing than ever. "As always, my tendency to angst and bemoan my fate has gotten the better of me…and as always, I needed the help of a close friend to pull me out of it."

Gardevoir smiled back at him. "Then you will help us?"

Mewtwo nodded, even as her heart soared and her other selves squealed behind her. "I am Mewtwo, son of Mew, strongest Pokémon in the world, and once-defender of Earth. I shall put a stop to any evil I see before me…even if that evil is myself, or a part of it! I promise you that, together, we shall put an end to all the wickedness Oblivion's Shadow has created!"

Gardevoir grinned, and had to repress an urge to kiss him and/or suck his blood. "I would not have it any other way." Her other selves squealed again.

"So, how are we going to get you control of your body again?" the angel asked.

"And stop Oblivion's Shadow from opening the Door to the Abyss?" the demon asked.

"Why does he want to do that, anyway? Didn't you say it's a _servant_ of the Ruler of Evil who ruined his—er, your life?" the vampire asked. "Why would he want to free the person responsible for that?"

"Oblivion's Shadow has a very good reason for releasing the Ruler, or at least, he _thinks_ he does," Mewtwo said. "He is unaware, or willfully blind to, the sheer _wrongness_ of his actions, or the consequences thereof. He believes he has everything under control and it will all be worth it in the end. He is wrong. We must put a stop to him before he does something that cannot easily be set to rights!"

"So you know his plan?" Gardevoir asked hopefully.

Mewtwo nodded. "Now that I am fully myself again, I am more aware of the machinations and thoughts of my other self than I was before. We share the same mind, after all." Gardevoir shuddered slightly at this, realizing for the first time that they were inside Oblivion's Shadow's subconscious…not a pleasant thought at all. "What we must first do is-"

"Nothing," said Mewtwo's voice…except it wasn't Mewtwo who said it. Their eyes widened in horror when they suddenly realized there was now a _sixth_ being standing on the ruined palace patio.

"_You,"_ Mewtwo snarled as Oblivion's Shadow glided towards them, his black cape and armor immaculate in spite of all the grime and destruction surrounding him, his mirror-mask as polished and perfectly reflective as ever.

"_You,"_ the Shadow retorted, speaking with his true voice for the first time since Gardevoir knew him. It was eerie how much he sounded _exactly_ like the Pokémon Gardevoir had grown so close to, his usual voice mimicry trick aside. Their mannerisms, their posture, even the way they moved and spoke were disturbingly similar. It was rather unnerving. "You should not be awake, brother. You put yourself to sleep forever. Running from your problems like the coward you are. You were always the weaker of us."

"_I'm_ weak?" Mewtwo sneered. "_You're_ the one who's wearing a mask, even inside his own head. Are you finding it that difficult to face what you have truly become? It must be jarring to look upon your own face again. I wonder when the last time you saw it reflected in that mirror of yours was? Or when you last heard our Mother's voice?"

Oblivion's Shadow clenched his fists and tensed visibly. "…Your taunts mean nothing to me, brother," he said, though it was clear the opposite was true. "Go back to sleep. It's what you're best at. Leave all the heavy lifting to me."

Mewtwo narrowed his eyes, blue Aura blazing up around him. "I've had enough sleep for quite some time, brother. Perhaps it's you who should take a nap? You must be very tired, doing nothing but plotting evil for the last thousand years or so."

"_I_ am in control of our body, brother," Oblivion's Shadow said, Shadow Aura blazing up around him. "You do not stand a chance against me."

"A Psychic's greatest asset is its mind," Mewtwo retorted. "And we are in my mind, brother, and I am one of the mightiest Psychics of all time. I think I have the advantage here."

"You forget, brother, it's _my_ mind, too," the Shadow pointed out.

Mewtwo grinned. "Well, that'll just make things that much more interesting, won't it?"

"…Girls, we might want to leave now," Gardevoir murmured. "I don't think we should get in the middle of this."

"What?! But this is our chance to finally fight the Shadow!" the demon protested.

"Inside his own head, where he's strongest?" the vampire retorted.

The angel nodded. "I think Mewtwo would be better suited to handle him. We'll have our chance another day."

The demon grumbled but reluctantly acquiesced. They slowly started for the door…

And then Oblivion's Shadow realized they were there, and what they were doing. "Wait. You…you're actually here?" he said in surprise. "You're not figments my pathetic brother made to entertain himself and keep himself company?"

"Wh-what? Oh no. We're definitely figments," the demon said quickly.

The angel nodded frantically. "Y-yeah, he dreamed us up to…um…have our way with us! Yes. Because he, I mean you, I mean, uh, someone has repressed sexual desires for us!" The vampire facepalmed, as did Mewtwo.

Gardevoir, seeing the Shadow wasn't buying it, saw no point in keeping up the deception. "That's right, Shadow. We're really here. I've managed to penetrate even _your_ mental defenses."

The Shadow reeled in astonishment and disbelief. "That's not possible! The psionic inhibitor should be restraining you!"

She grinned, showing her fangs. "Perhaps it's not as strong as you think it was."

"…Perhaps so, but even if that were the case, there's no _way_ you could have penetrated this far into my subconscious! Unless…" He stiffened. Then he shook with rage, his Shadow Aura growing in intensity. The entire valley started shaking, the patio began to crack up even more, and more cracks started to appear in thin air, as the structure of the mindscape started to destabilize from his fury. "Of _course_." He turned to face Mewtwo. "I will deal with you and your girlfriends later. Right now, I have a lunar goddess to do horrible things to. _Nobody_ messes with my mind!"

With that, he vanished, leaving them all bewildered and confused. "Uh…what just happened?" asked the dumbfounded demon.

"And did he just call us Mewtwo's girlfriends?" the angel asked, blushing.

"Lunar goddess? What was he talking about?" Gardevoir asked.

Mewtwo gasped. "No…he has Cresselia!"

"WHAT?!" the Gardevoirs cried in alarm.

"The Shadow managed to capture Cresselia a while back and used her as a bargaining chip to force Darkrai not to hinder his efforts…and even to _help_ in certain ways!" Mewtwo said.

"Cresselia is the goddess of dreams. She must be the one who opened the passage we used to get here!" the vampire realized.

"But now the Shadow knows…and he's going to do something horrible to her!" Gardevoir gasped.

"We have to stop him!" the demon said.

"But how? If we break out, won't that jeopardize the revolution?" the angel asked.

Gardevoir narrowed her eyes. "Not necessarily. Not if we do it right. Not if we tell the others to stand down and do nothing while we act, so that if we fail to defeat the Shadow, there will be no reprisals against them."

"Will they go for that?" the vampire asked doubtfully.

"They're going to have to, because that's what we're going to do," Gardevoir said forcefully. "I am tired of sitting in my cage and doing nothing while others suffer around me. If I can save even one person from that fiend's clutches and make him feel less secure and sure of himself, then I'll have won."

"Yes! Finally, some action!" the demon cheered.

"…You're right. I'm not sure this is the best idea, but…we can't just sit back and do nothing anymore," the angel said. "Cresselia helped us to meet Mewtwo, and in turn helped him to remember himself, which may help defeat the Shadow. We need to return the favor!"

"I don't know how much I can help from in here, but I will do whatever I can," Mewtwo said. "You must hurry. Even as we speak he's heading for Cresselia…and he is very, _very_ angry."

Gardevoir nodded. "Right. Let's go, girls! And Mewtwo…"

"Yes?" Mewtwo asked.

Without warning, she kissed him. She also bit the inside of his mouth a little and drew some blood (or a facsimile of it, since they were inside a dreamscape), but hey, vampire, what do you expect. As he stiffened in astonishment (and perhaps a little arousal), and her other selves grinned, she licked the blood off her lips, said, "For good luck," and then hurried for the door back to her mind, her other selves trailing behind her.

"…Wow," Mewtwo said a moment after they had left, eyes wide.

"She's one hell of a kisser, huh?" Darkrai said as he rose from Mewtwo's shadow.

"So it would seem," Mewtwo said in a daze. "I guess all those things they said about the kiss of a vampire are true."

"Well, teen supernatural romance novels can be right occasionally. _Very_ occasionally," Darkrai said.

"Do…do you think she can beat him?" Mewtwo asked.

"Maybe, maybe not. Either way, he's going to be in for one hell of a fight!" Darkrai chortled. "And while he's distracted, it'll be time to finally make my move and get my wife out of there."

"You've been planning this for a while, haven't you?" Mewtwo asked.

Darkrai nodded. "For her to become of interest to the Shadow and be in a position to strike at him, giving me an opening to save Cresselia? Yes. For her to find you and wake you up? Nope. That was all Cresselia's idea. Heck, I didn't even know you were in here until recently. For the longest time, I thought that the Shadow was…well, that he was the _real_ you. You don't know how happy I am to find out that there's still a part of one of my best friends in here, so that I don't have to keep thinking that another one of my buddies had gone over to the other side. I'm…really glad to have you back mon."

"And I am glad to _be_ back," Mewtwo said. "Or rather, I will be once I regain control of my body and put an end to the evil the Shadow has wrought in my name. Er, aside from the fact that he hasn't actually used my name. Or face. You know what I mean."

"Yeah, I do," Darkrai said. "Anyway, I hate to cut this reunion short, but I have to go get my guy ready to bust Cressy out. I'll talk to you again later, when I get the chance."

Mewtwo nodded. "I am looking forward to it, old friend."

"Until later, then," Darkrai said, starting to sink back into shadow.

"Darkrai," Mewtwo said suddenly.

"Hmm?" Darkrai said, pausing in mid-phase.

"…When so many of the others turned against me a thousand years ago…thank you for not being with them when they attacked the valley," Mewtwo said.

Darkrai smiled. "Hey, I _knew_ there was no way you could possibly be doing all the things Mew had said when She came by with Her orders. I figured it was just another one of Her tests or pranks. I…never imagined the others would have gone as far as they did, though. Or that it wasn't really Her. I'm sorry I couldn't stop them, mon. Or you, er, the other you, when…"

"…It is all right," Mewtwo said after a moment. "It's in the past. The future is all that matters now."

Darkrai nodded. "Which is why I've gotta save Cressy, to make sure we still have one."

"Give her my regards, will you?" Mewtwo asked. "If it weren't for her, I would not be here right now. And…thank her for not being in the valley either, please?"

Darkrai chuckled. "Sure thing, buddy. She's always had a soft spot for you. She'll be tickled pinker to know you're in the right frame of mind again." They stiffened as they heard a sub-psychic scream of agony echo across the dreamscape, causing it to tremble and the cracks in reality to deepen. "Aaaaand that's my cue. Toodles!"

And then Mewtwo was alone once more. Closing his eyes, Mewtwo willed the valley back to its original state, smiling when he saw it was no longer a smoking, corpse-littered ruin. "Gardevoir…" he murmured. "Be careful. If I am to make amends for the crimes of my other self…and to one day rebuild the home I once lost…I do not want to do it alone. Not again."

He sat down and meditated, focusing his mind and probing the edges of his prison. If Gardevoir was going to take on his darker self, she was going to need all the help that he could give her.

She had believed in him, when he had lost faith in himself yet again. It was time to see if that faith was well-placed.

…

Meanwhile, in the Berry Kingdom…

The trip from the edge of the Berry Kingdom to the great palace built around Altru Tower was a rather interesting experience for Team Nightshade. (Well, every member except Evan, who was being doted upon by Hissssa, anyway.) Despite some lingering concerns that the Kingdom was, in fact, being ruled over by a tyrannical overlord who was mind-controlling its populace, the place seemed completely on the up-and-up as far as they could tell. The farmers and soldiers and townsfolk they passed by as they journeyed through the kingdom seemed perfectly friendly, personable, and showed no visible signs of being brainwashed that they could discern. (And they could discern a lot. Maren and Janine _were_ involved in some shady ops for the Mirage Kingdom now and then; they had enough experience to know what it looked like.)

This was further demonstrated when they passed through a bustling town on the way to the palace. Like everyone else they had passed so far, the townsPokémon bowed graciously to the Prince and his soldiers and were courteous in greeting Gary and his friends. Berries and trinkets were proffered on them, and like everything else they'd sampled so far in the kingdom the food was delicious and each gift was probably worth more than Maren made in a year, much to her chagrin. Naturally, they stowed away every valuable item they were given along with the rest of the treasures they'd collected on their journey, but with all the gifts they'd received from nearly everyone they'd met since setting foot in the Berry Kingdom, it looked as if they'd need a new container to keep it in before long. Or possibly several. Naturally, the instant Gary commented on this, the next Pokémon to greet them handed him a beautiful wooden chest with silver filigree and inlaid sapphires that made a tracery of a reclining Mew in a somewhat…provocative position on the lid. "Uh, wow, thanks," Gary said in surprise to the very generous Gurdurr who'd handed him the box.

"No problem. I heard you could use something like that, and I thought that might come in handy," the Gurdurr said.

"This looks pretty valuable. You sure you want to just give it up?" Maren asked.

The Gurdurr shrugged. "You said you needed it, so you can have it. Besides, I've been meaning to get rid of that old thing for ages anyway, I have like ten more just like it back home. You can probably make better use of it than I could."

"…Huh. Thanks," Gary said.

"Just how wealthy is the average Berry citizen if they can give away something as valuable as _this_ with no problem?" wondered an amazed Janine after the generous Gurdurr departed.

"Depends on your definition of wealth," Prince Caspen said.

Nando nodded. "They don't use money here in the Berry Kingdom."

"What? Then how does your economy work?" asked a confused Maren.

"Maybe they exchange services for sex?" Mary said snidely. "They are Mewrians, after all."

"No, if someone needs something, we give it to them. Simple as that," Caspen said. "We have more than enough resources that there's always a surplus of almost everything but land, so very few of our subjects ever want for anything."

Gary glanced at the shining yellow bricks making up the road under their feet. "That would explain how you can afford to make roads with actual gold." He'd managed to pry a few loose bricks and stow them away when he thought nobody was looking. Hey, if they had enough to make a road of solid gold in the first place, they probably had enough extra lying around that they could replace a few bricks. It's not like anyone was using them other than something to walk on, anyway.

"And how that statue over there is made of solid diamond," Jerry said, staring at a nearby statue of a valiant Gallade. It wasn't even a very large or prominent statue; it was just sitting in a little alcove out of the way, easily missed by passerby. And it was made from a single diamond. And it wasn't the only one nearby. He was pretty sure that the red tiles covering the roofs of several of the buildings were made of rubies, the white walls were made of marble and crystal, and the tiles used in the ubiquitous mosaics were each fashioned from a glittering gemstone as well.

"And here I thought _our_ kingdom was wealthy," Maren murmured in disbelief, staring at the townsfolk walking by, some of whom were wearing jewelry that was probably worth more than the entire Mirage Kingdom treasury without a care in the world. "We may be able to give even the commoners houses made of semiprecious metals, but we certainly don't have a big enough surplus of resources and materials to have an excuse not to use any form of money or economic system whatsoever!"

"Hey yeah, if you don't pay anyone with money, why does anyone do their job at all? What do they get out of it?" Gary asked.

"The pride in knowing that they are serving their nation and bettering the lives of their fellow Pokémon," Coballion said.

"Ah, so you're communists," Mary said.

Coballion blinked. "We're what now?"

"Our kingdom's not perfect, though," Caspen said.

"Coulda fooled me," Mary muttered.

"We have squabbles between classes, and crimes still exist," Coballion said. "Hence why our job doesn't consist of sitting around and doing nothing all day."

"More's the pity," Terrakion grumbled.

"If there's enough resources for everyone, what kind of crimes could there possibly be?" Maren asked.

"Passion, mainly," Virizion said.

"Oh," Maren said.

"The government does its best to minimalize crime, no matter what the cost," Keldeo said. "That's part of our job."

"As a result, the civilians have their own representative in the king's court to make sure all sides of an issue are heard and justice can be fairly issued to all," Caspen said.

"Sounds good," Gary said, not really caring that much. Although now he wondered if he might get in trouble for swiping some of those gold bricks…

"What was that about a surplus of everything _but_ land?" Callista asked.

Caspen looked somewhat Mareepish. "While Mew has given our land many blessings, there are a few…drawbacks. All of us have rather long lives, and are…fertile. _Very_ fertile."

"That would explain all the children," Janine noted, glancing at the townsPokémon. There seemed to be almost more children than adults. And they were playing with toys that looked more expensive than what even the wealthiest children back in the Mirage Kingdom could afford, too.

"So you're facing a risk of overpopulation?" Maren guessed.

Caspen nodded. "We haven't reached the threshold just yet—we still have several years to go—but we've already had to destroy a number of forests and Berry fields which have stood for generations to make room for more homes and towns, and implemented food rationing to ease the burdens of our farmers, while researching ways to grow crops that can provide more nutrients and energy per berry, so that our people can eat less but still receive the same level of nourishment per meal. Even so, it's only a stopgap measure, and eventually we may have to do the unthinkable and expand the Kingdom to make more room for everyone."

"Why is that unthinkable?" Jerry asked.

"Partly because if we expand too far, we'll encroach on lands already occupied by other Pokémon," Landorus said.

"Which could lead to rather messy conflicts," Coballion said.

"Plus, the rest of the continent would notice if the wasteland around Altu Tower grew larger and started investigating, which led to them discovering our existence," Virizion said. "And while we _do_ plan to reveal ourselves someday, we can't do it so long as the King of Pokélantis is still out there."

"Then again, since he's already figured out where we are—no thanks to _this_ lot—there may not be a point in staying hidden for much longer," Terrakion growled, causing Team Nightshade to flinch.

"There's also the fact that if we expand our territory too far, the energy from the Luminous Crystal will grow diluted as it tries to supply power to the entire Kingdom," Caspen continued. "Which could lead to our people suffering from the dimming of Altru Tower's blessed light."

"Yes, because Celestial Heavens forbid any of them live _without_ that thing forcing peace and happiness on them," Mary grunted.

"The continued existence of our kingdom is due almost _entirely_ to the light of the Crystal. If that light were ever to falter, the consequences could be…catastrophic," Caspen said ominously. They exchanged concerned looks at this.

"Well, that's almost certainly asking for something terrible to happen…" Gary murmured.

"Especially with us around," Jerry agreed soberly.

"Didn't the Crystal's power once cover the entire continent?" Maren asked. "Why can't you just do now what you did then? Er, not that we're asking you to try and claim all of Almiore as your territory, that is."

"Of course, they _were_ granted the right to rule the continent by Mew once upon a time," Janine pointed out. "If they wanted to, they have precedence and divine right on their side to rule again…"

"Janine, don't give them any ideas!" Maren hissed.

Caspen nodded. "Our light once covered all of Almiore, yes…but much has been lost in our many battles against the King of Pokélantis, including whatever method we once used to shine the Crystal's light across all of Almiore. Our researchers are working on ways to either increase the Crystal's power or build relay stations that could receive and spread its light further from home, but so far, we haven't accomplished anything conclusive. Still, we have a few years left before it really becomes a problem, so we're fairly optimistic we'll find a solution in time."

"You will need to find a solution much quicker, since I will be taking that Crystal," Callista said.

Her teammates tensed. The Berry soldiers shifted a bit. Caspen frowned at her. "…I told you, that is something we must discuss with my father."

"And what's to stop him from saying no?" Callista asked.

"Nothing," Caspen said. "But so far, our need for the Crystal is greater. If that were ever to change, then we _might_ reconsider giving it to you."

"I wouldn't count on it, though," Tornadus said. Thundurus elbowed him.

Callista bristled. "Callista, relax. We'll get that Crystal one way or another," Gary said.

"Probably by stealing it," Mary said bluntly.

"You probably shouldn't mention that in front of all these very strong-looking guys," Jerry pointed out.

"If the prophecy says it'll happen, it'll happen, no matter what they've got to say about it," Mary said.

Caspen frowned. "We shall see about that. Prophecies have been incorrect before."

"Not this one," Gary said. "Especially since there's a trio of time-traveling jackasses making sure it comes true."

"What?" asked a confused Caspen.

"We'll explain later. Or not," Gary said. The Gallade frowned at him.

"Hey, Callista. You want to be undead, right? You've said as much, like, a dozen times," Terrakion said.

The Riolu frowned. "Yes. What of it?"

"The Berry Kingdom has very few limitations on magic," Virizion said. "Even necromancy, which is outlawed in most other countries, is allowed, so long as the life force being used and the subsequent undead are voluntary."

The Riolu narrowed her eyes. "Is that so?"

"It is," Coballion said.

"And you're implying that, if I pursued such magic here, I might be able to fulfill my dream of undeath?" Callista asked.

"That's the idea," Keldeo said.

"…Hmmph. Nice try," Callista sniffed. "While I don't think you're lying, if you're trying to buy me off by fulfilling my lifelong dream, it won't work. I will not be dissuaded so easily from following my destiny."

Coballion frowned. "That was not why we brought it up. We genuinely desire your happiness."

"And if my happiness should make things easier for you by making me more positively inclined towards you, I suppose that's just a happy coincidence?" Callista shot back. Coballion narrowed his eyes at her.

Before they could discuss or argue the point further, Gary suddenly realized two of their party were missing. Well, nine, technically. "…Wait a minute. Where's Hissssa and Evan?"

They glanced around. Somehow, the giant eight-headed serpent and her much smaller boyfriend had disappeared. Callista closed her eyes briefly to scan the area with Aura-sight. Under her helmet, she blanched. "Ah…I believe they are…over there…" she said, pointing to a nearby street running perpendicular to their own where several children and more than a few adults were gathered, eyes wide in amazement. A large barbed tail with bells wrapped around it could be seen occasionally flailing around the corner. A LOT of hissing could be heard.

Gary facepalmed. "Oh for the love of…REALLY? _REALLY_!? In front of the KIDS?!"

Caspen sighed. "It never fails. There's always at least _one_ couple who can't wait to start worshipping until they're in the privacy of their own homes. Coballion?"

Coballion nodded. "All right, Swords of Justice, let's go."

"Ugh, I hate this part of the job," Keldeo complained as the Swords of Justice peeled away from the rest of the group to…reign in Hissssa and Evan.

"I don't," Terrakion said eagerly.

Landorus started to drift after them, when each of his brothers grabbed him by one arm. "Hey, what are you doing?"

"Where are you going?" Thundurus asked.

"I was, uh, just going to offer my assistance," Landorus said.

"Nice try. The Prince sent the Swords because at least _they_ know when to keep a leash on it," Tornadus said.

Landorus sulked. "When did worshipping the goddess become so heavily regulated, anyway?"

"Since we're on the brink of a population crisis?" Thundurus said. "Which you haven't exactly been doing a particularly good job of slowing down?"

"Oh yeah, that," Landorus said in embarrassment.

"'Worshipping the goddess,' huh? That's a new euphemism for the books," Gary said.

"On the Moon, we call it 'choking the nightmare,'" Nando said helpfully.

Gary stared at him in horror. "…Why…why would you…never mind, I don't think I want to know."

"That is probably for the best," Nando agreed.

"You know, if it's that big a problem, couldn't you just use contraceptives?" Mary asked.

"We do, even though technically it's against our religion," Caspen said. "It's the only reason the country didn't collapse under its own weight centuries ago."

"Oh," Mary said.

"You could also, you know, worship less," Maren suggested.

The Berry soldiers stared at her blankly. "There are words coming out of her mouth, but I do not understand them," Landorus said. His brothers and pretty much all the other soldiers, and Prince Caspen, nodded in agreement.

Maren sighed. "Never mind."

"Mewrians," Mary grumbled.

After that horrifically mind-scarring incident was done with and firmly repressed, the group continued on their way. After some more hours of travel (Gary wondered why they hadn't just Teleported or flown to the palace, to which Caspen said he enjoyed taking the scenic route, causing the Gengar to decide he hated him with a passion), they finally reached the royal palace.

Or rather, the training fields in front of the palace, where hundreds of Pokémon in armor were doing drills. It was awe-inspiring, seeing so many Pokémon moving in unison, their muscles flexing and sweat rolling down their perfect forms as they toiled and trained and pressed their flesh together under the sun and sorry what was I talking about? "Quite a lot of guys you've got here," Jerry commented as they walked down the road between the training fields, the soldiers so disciplined they didn't even break their drills to acknowledge their presence.

"And this isn't even the full extent of our army!" Landorus bragged. "When our old foe comes-a-calling, he won't find us unprepared!"

"To be fair, while our soldiers are trained well, they lack battle experience," Coballion said, much to Landorus's annoyance. "We don't have the might of the Draconian Empire or the magical power of Fichina on our side. Our mages are strong, but nothing compared to what they can do in that mystical country."

"What we _do_ have is unity," Virizion said.

Terrakion nodded. "A willingness to die for each other, a belief that there is a greater good, and if even one of them can die to save an innocent, then that is how they will save a life."

"It is that willingness and unity of belief that makes us a force to fear," Keldeo finished.

Maren and Janine exchanged worried looks at this. "Your Majesty…as far as I know, none of the Mirage Kingdom soldiers are aware that our King has been possessed," Maren said to Caspen.

"If you're worried we'll hurt them in the coming battle, don't worry. We're trained in both lethal and nonlethal combat. We won't kill any of them if we can help it. They're innocent Pawniards, for the most part," Caspen assured him. "Any Nihilators that are present will not be so lucky, however. From what we have learned, they are truly wicked Pokémon, and every last one of them deserves to be slain."

"That's good to know," Maren said in relief.

"And even if they do get killed, our necromancers are good enough to bring them back to life so long as they get there in time," Keldeo said.

"…Oh," Maren said, not sure what to think of that.

"You don't say…" Callista said, interested despite herself.

"Even if you aren't fighting with lethal intent, they certainly will be," Janine pointed out. "If your soldiers are not fighting at full strength for fear of harming others, they will be easily routed. Their opponents might not be as forgiving."

"If you can bring your brother over to our side and deprive our foe of most of his fighting force, it might not come to that," Caspen said.

The Ninjask nodded. "I will do what I can."

Soon enough, they reached the gates of the palace, a pair of massive golden doors with a massive image of a winged Mew cradling a pawful of berries to her chest set in the great wall surrounding the royal compound, its towering heights looming over them. The glare from the sunlight and the light generated by the Crystal far above them and on the other side of the wall shining off the doorway was so bright they had trouble seeing what was in front of them. "I could really use some sunglasses right about now," Gary said, squinting. "Don't suppose we thought to pack any?"

Mary checked their Rescue Kit. "I don't think so, no."

"Eh, figures," the Gengar said.

"The Luminous Crystal," Callista whispered, staring upwards at the jewel atop Altru Tower in awe, her eyes watering in joy and because the light was too much for them. "My birthright, at last…it's more beautiful than I had ever imagined…"

"Yes," Caspen said with a fond smile. "It is, isn't it?"

They didn't have time to admire the beauty of the sacred stone that gave power and prosperity to the whole kingdom, however. They had an audience with royalty to attend. With a nod from Caspen to the two massive Golurk standing guard on either side of the gateway, the doors slid open silently, allowing them entry into the palace compound. The interior of the palace walls seemed to be a massive park, with rolling green hills and streams and trees laden with berries, marble paths winding their way through the well-tended trees and hedges and monuments of stone and glass and crystal. Very beautiful Pokémon, many of the Ralts evolution line but also of several other different species, walked or floated serenely through the trees either on administrative business or for their own pleasure. The palace's numerous buildings and spires and towers seemed to rise almost organically from the peaceful setting, as if they had grown naturally from the ground rather than being built. Directly in front of them was a clearing with a plaza of marble tiles in the center, surrounded by four fountains with statues of Mew pouring water from large jugs that fed into streams leading out into the park, and paths leading away from the center in the four cardinal directions, one of which led right to the gates they had just passed through. In the center of the plaza a dais rose from a square pool, with water flowing from sculptures of Water Pokémon jutting from the sides of the dais into the pool. Sitting atop the dais, surrounded by about a dozen or so Ralts and Kirlias and children of other species, was a gorgeous Meloetta playing a harp similar to Nando's, singing a song of such beauty and perfection it nearly brought them to tears.

"Euterpe, I take it?" Gary asked when Nando looked at the musician fondly.

The Clefable nodded, a dreamy smile on his face. "She's quite good, isn't she?"

"And music to entertain my siblings is not all her music is good for, either," Caspen said.

Tornadus nodded. "She has a song that, in conjunction with an artifact in the Berry King's keeping, can help us three kamis reach our full power, which will certainly come in handy in the coming battle."

"She can also fight as well, though she is a pacifist by nature. She has a song that can calm even the most angry of hearts," Landorus said. He frowned. "Whether or not it will be of use against the King of Pokélantis, or his Nihilator allies, I cannot be certain, however. There will probably be a fight, no matter how much we would wish there wasn't one." The team exchanged worried looks at this. They had started this quest as a rescue mission, then to restore a lost kingdom. Now were they going to be dragged into a war?

"Those are your siblings?" Jerry asked.

"My youngest ones," Caspen explained. "I have quite a lot, actually. My father has several wives from all over the Berry Kingdom, which of course leads to several children. It helps to maintain ties between the various powerful families and clans occupying our realm for them to be related by marriage to the King."

"The fact that he gets lots of nooky is just a welcome side-benefit," Mary said blandly.

Caspen smirked. "What can I say? Politics don't always have to be dry and boring."

"Now that's the kind of politics _I_ could get behind," Gary commented, causing Mary to frown at him.

"Almost everyone you will meet here is related to my family in one way or another, either by blood or adoption," Caspen continued. "Even many of the servants. Keeping it in the family—and _enlarging_ the family—is a good way to increase solidarity and ensure loyalty."

"Then does that mean when you're…ah, 'worshipping the goddess' with your courtesans, you're actually…" Jerry trailed off.

"No," Caspen said flatly. "Especially since the courtesans are only for the use of our guests. We have our own loved ones (or harems) to worship the goddess with. Ones who are not our cousins, or siblings, or close relatives, just to be clear. We do _not_ tolerate inbreeding."

"Ah," Jerry said.

"Well, not by blood, anyway," Landorus said lewdly. Tornadus smacked him.

Caspen dismissed the Poffin Mons, who bowed and left to go about their business, and then the prince, the kamis, and the Swords of Justice led Nando and Team Nightshade through the plaza towards the main keep, which was on the opposite side of the plaza from them. The great winged statue of Mew, the androgynous statues on both sides, and the great tower with the radiant Crystal at its peak loomed over them, but not threateningly, more like a loving mother watching over her children. It was kind of weird. As they passed the dais, several of the children noticed Caspen and waved to him, but were too busy listening to Euterpe's melody to come and say hello, although the prince said after they'd passed by that they had exchanged greetings telepathically. "We are very close like that, and used to each other's thoughts. There are some days where none of us say anything at all, and communicate purely by thought," he explained.

"And how does everyone who's _not_ a Psychic-type handle that?" Maren asked.

"We have a telepathic network over the entire compound, so all of our family members can communicate with each other, no matter what their species," Caspen said.

"Even the Dark-types?" Callista asked.

Caspen hesitated. "…We're still working on that."

"The Queen may be close to a breakthrough, though," Coballion said.

Virizion nodded. "And considering who she is, she is uniquely suited to solving it."

"What, is she a Dark-type?" Mary asked.

"Yes, but not by birth," Terrakion said.

"So…what, she's an Umbreon? Tyranitar? Cacturne? Crawdaunt? Drapion?" Gary asked.

"None of the above, my mother is a Gardevoir," Caspen said.

They blinked at this. "But Gardevoirs aren't Dark-types," Mary said, stating the obvious.

"Not normally, no," Caspen agreed. "But my mother isn't an ordinary Gardevoir. When she was younger, a Kecleon assassin we believe was sent by the King of Pokélantis tried to kill her using a very powerful Dark-type technique after poisoning her food so she wouldn't be able to defend herself. Fortunately, my mother was much stronger than he had expected, and used her Synchronize ability to copy the assassin's Color Change ability before he struck so that she gained a Dark-type thanks to the attack. She quickly bested the assassin and managed to retain the Dark power through force of will, and still has it to this day. It has…altered her appearance somewhat compared to most Gardevoir, but many think that makes her that much more alluring. My father certainly does."

"Ah," Mary said.

"That sounds familiar for some reason…" Gary murmured. Hadn't the Spirit of the Mirror said Gardevoir had undergone something like that, or was working on it before being turned into a vampire? Curious…interesting to know that the principle worked, even if Gardevoir didn't quite get there before receiving a _different_ kind of Dark power…

"Wait, she's the Queen?" Jerry asked.

Caspen nodded. "Yes."

"But…doesn't your father have lots of wives? How can any one of them be Queen?" Jerry asked.

"Because she is his first and favorite, of course. I believe that is the custom," Janine said.

Caspen nodded. "My father loves all his wives, but my mother most of all. And since I am the firstborn of his first wife, I am his heir."

"Oh," Jerry said.

"Will we meet her, too?" Maren asked.

"You will meet all of my family eventuall—which will take a while, since there are a _lot_ of us-but my mother should be present for this audience," Caspen said. "As Queen, she shares my father's administrative duties."

"Any other bigwigs we should expect?" Gary asked.

"My father's three chief advisors: Lavana, leader of our military; Ice, leader of our magi; and Heath, leader of our civilians," Caspen said.

"Leader of the civilians? What do you mean?" Mary asked.

"While Lavana and Ice each lead their respective divisions, Heath is more of a representative of the interests of our citizens who are neither in the army or part of the magical community," Coballion explained. "The farmers, the merchants, the artisans and workers and local politicians…the ordinary folk without whom our kingdom would not function. It is a position with great responsibility, and he is highly respected across the realm."

"Even if he has a funny way of talking," Keldeo said. The other Swords frowned at him. "What? He does!"

"Yeah, he kinda does," Terrakion admitted. The other Swords (except Keldeo) frowned at him. "What? He does!"

"Speaking of respect…Gary…" Maren said warningly.

Gary nodded. "Right, no trying to antagonize the guy in charge of the entire nation we're in. Got it, Callista?"

"…I will do my best," the Riolu said stiffly, crossing her arms.

"Speaking of which, we might want to pull Evan away from Hissssa. No matter how…loose Mewrians are, I can't imagine they'll be okay with someone doing it right in front of them in the middle of an important discussion," Mary said, glancing at the heavily intertwined serpents, who had been more interested in each other than the conversation.

"NEVER!" Hissssa screamed, tightening her coils around Evan, who gasped from lack of breath and his ribs starting to crack. "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE HIM AWAY FROM USSS!"

"Then could you at least not make out with him while we're meeting the Berry King?! It's kinda grossing me out!" Gary shouted.

"We make no promisssesss," Hissssa said, turning all her noses up.

Gary sighed in exasperation and glanced at Caspen. "You see what I have to work with here?"

The prince nodded sympathetically. "I know _exactly_ what you mean," he said, glancing at Landorus.

The fertility kami blinked. "What?"

Gary smirked, feeling a bit of camaraderie for the stupidly handsome Gallade. "So, we have some advisors to deal with. Any other takers?"

"Princess Sara and my brother will be joining us, since what we have to discuss concerns them as well," Caspen said.

"We're going to see Princess Sara?!" Maren said excitedly.

"Finally! We're going to at long last meet the princess we're supposed to rescue!" Gary said.

"Except we aren't actually rescuing her," Mary pointed out.

"Yeah, but hey, at least we'll finally meet the girl we started this whole adventure out to find," Gary pointed out.

"What of the…heads of your ninja clan? Will they be present?" Janine asked.

Caspen paused for a moment. "They will be observing us, but they will not be present. They would rather speak to you in private. There are things they would discuss with you."

"Just as I have things I would discuss with them," Janine said coolly. _Such as why they abandoned their duty to the Dragon God King to serve a living Clefairy tale!_

"There will, however, be someone who Callista may find familiar in attendance," Caspen continued with a smirk, glancing fondly at the Riolu.

Callista frowned and gave him a blank look. "I don't believe there is anyone in this kingdom I would possibly be familiar with."

Caspen looked puzzled. "Not even your sister?"

Callista blinked. "What? My sister? My sister is dead."

Caspen started. "Dead?! What are you talking about? Why would you think she's…" He frowned. "…This Beartics looking into. Come along."

"You have a sister?" Jerry asked in surprise as they started walking again, at a noticeably quicker pace.

"Yeah, don't you remember? Callista mentioned soon after we first met her—and got beaten up by her-that she had an elder sister who went searching for pieces of the Compass a while back and never returned," Maren said.

Callista nodded. "My sister, as the elder one of us, was originally supposed to be Queen of Lemewria, if and when we were able to revive it. When she never returned from her sojourn, we thought her lost and I was named Queen in her place."

Caspen glanced back at the Riolu with a frown and heightened his pace further. "Something is wrong. Something is _very_ wrong," he muttered to himself. "Why doesn't she know about…"

They continued along the path leading away from the plaza towards the central keep, which seemed to get even bigger and more imposing the closer they got to it. Soon they found themselves at the bottom of a short, broad staircase leading up to the entrance, a pair of golden doors similar to the ones they had passed through to enter the palace compound, only on a smaller scale. A pair of Gallade wearing Poffin Mon armor were guarding the gates, but with a (presumably) telepathic signal from Caspen they telekinetically opened the doors and allowed them inside.

They found themselves inside a massive hall with walls and floor made of solid jade. A long red carpet ran from the gate they had just walked through to a raised dais at the back of the chamber. Atop that dais sat a wooden throne carved out of a berry tree. Literally. There was a tree growing from the dais, and a chair had somehow been carved into it. However, the tree was dead, and looked as if it had been for quite some time. A giant stained glass window made up the back wall depicting a winged Mew descending and offering a paw to an awestruck Ralts who had fallen to the ground before her, and a ray of sunlight alit upon the throne, which was, for whatever reason, vacant. Great pillars made of solid rubies, sapphires, and topazes rose to the ceiling, their tops spreading out like the branches of a tree and melding into the ceiling, causing veins of red, blue, and yellow to shoot through the green jade in every direction, creating a complex and rather elaborate weave of color that had some vast, strange pattern to it if you looked carefully enough. Interestingly, pulses of light passed through the columns and veins, making it look like they were alive. Crystals that looked like miniature replicas of the one perched atop Altru Tower orbited the room, with tiny chips of red, blue, and yellow stones circling them in turn, shining light across the chamber. Banners depicting berry trees hung from the ceiling in between the columns.

Sitting on a surprisingly ordinary stool at the base of the dais was a shiny Gallade. He looked very much like Caspen, only older, and with a different color scheme, and if his looks were anything to go by his son would age very well. Unlike his son, however, his features, while still handsome, were imperfect. His left arm was completely made of some silvery metal that looked and moved just like one of flesh, and both the back and left side of his head were completely made of metal, as was his lower jaw. A device like a loupe with a ruby for a lens sat over his left eye, but judging from the old scars around it, it was quite possible that that _was_ his eye. He wore a crimson cape and a ceremonial golden breastplate with a winged Mew seated in front of a berry tree embossed on its front, and a circlet with jewels shaped like berries was perched on his brow. This, then, was the legendary Berry King.

Next to him was a Gardevoir of such beauty and grace that Gary had to reluctantly admit that even Gardevoir might have some competition with her in the looks department. She also looked, as Caspen had warned them, different from most Gardevoir. Her dress and skin were black as midnight, her eyes blood-red, small fangs grew from her mouth, and her hair and arms were purple. The red fins growing out of her chest and back had serrated edges vaguely reminiscent of Darkrai's collar. The spikes growing from the side of her head were also longer and sharper than the norm. She wore a ring on each slender finger, a necklace with a ruby, sapphire, and topaz shaped like tears around her slender neck, and a circlet much like the Berry King's. This, then, was the Berry Queen, and Caspen's mother.

Standing behind the King were an Infernape, a Froslass, and an Electivire. The Infernape wore gold and crimson armor with a gilded sword shaped like a flame strapped to her back, the Froslass wore blue and white robes and held a staff with a snowflake-shaped crystal on the end, and the Electivire wore a yellow and black cloak with a thick chain made of lightning bolt-shaped links draped across his chest. Each of them also wore necklaces with teardrop-shaped gems, but only had one apiece: a ruby for the Infernape, a sapphire for the Froslass, and a topaz for the Electivire. These, then, were the King's advisors: Lavana, Ice (Kind of an unoriginal name for an Ice-type, wasn't it?) and Heath.

Standing off to the side was a very pretty Togekiss wearing a purple and white ermine cape and a tiara with a jagged glass shard set in the crown. Standing next to her was a male Kirlia wearing a circlet and a short cape. Maren and Janine stood at attention upon seeing the Togekiss, and Gary broke into a grin, realizing they were at long last standing before the original goal of their quest, Princess Sara. (Oh, and apparently the prince she'd fallen in love with.)

Standing on the other side of the room, looking somewhat nervous, was a lovely female Lucario wearing a necklace, bracelets, and anklets made of carven bone. She also had some bone earrings in one ear. Callista stiffened in shock when she saw her, and the Lucario gave her a somewhat anxious smile. The rest of Team Nightshade (except for Evan, who was too busy being…busy with Hissssa to pay attention) exchanged puzzled looks, wondering what that was all about.

With Caspen, Nando, and the Swords of Justice before them and the kami trio hovering in the rear, Team Nightshade approached the Gallade seated on the stool. Once they were a few meters away, Caspen respectfully knelt on the floor and bowed his head. Nando and the Swords of Justice knelt as well, and the kamis bowed in midair, and Janine and Maren curtsied. Even Hissssa reluctantly pulled her attention away from Evan and bowed all eight heads, much to the Ekans' disappointment. Realizing they'd fallen behind, Gary, Mary, and Jerry quickly bowed as well. When he noticed Callista was gawking incredulously at the Lucario, Gary quickly yanked on one arm, causing her to lose her balance and tumble in a manner that might, if one were very near-sighted and it was quite dark, be construed as a bow. "Honored Father and Mother," Caspen said. "As commanded, I have returned from the border with the intruders we have been anticipating."

The seated Gallade nodded. "You have done well, Caspen," he said in a deep, strident voice. "And there were no…incidents along the way? If the many stories I've heard of these outsiders are true, they have a habit of bringing chaos everywhere they go." Team Nightshade flinched at that.

"Nothing more than a…minor delay," Caspen said, eyes flicking at Hissssa, who squirmed and had the grace to look Mareepish.

A smile creased the King's face. At least, they thought he was smiling, it was a little hard to tell since his entire lower jaw was made of metal. "After being separated for so long, it is understandable that the hearts of those in love might be desperate for intimacy upon their return. I myself have trouble keeping my hands off of your mother even if I've only spent a few hours away from her presence! Their actions shall not be held against them this time, but I ask that in the future you and your consort will exercise more restraint, Lady Hissssa."

"We will do our bessst, Your Majesssty," Hissssa hissed, chastened.

"Awww, do we have to?" Evan whined. Hissssa bopped him on the head with her tail to shut him up.

The King rose to his feet and made a gesture. Caspen and the Swords of Justice rose and parted to the side, revealing Team Nightshade and bringing them face to face with the elder Gallade. Gary found himself rather intimidated and taken aback by the sheer sense of power and presence the mon radiated. This was a mon with absolute confidence in his power and place in the world, an unquestioned leader and figure of legend who looked as if he'd just walked out of some myth of ancient heroism. It was easy to believe that a mon like this had once ruled a continent, and still ruled a nation that was—if what Gary had seen so far was anything to go by—one of the most prosperous on Earth. "So, this is the infamous Team Nightshade," the King said after examining them for a moment. Gary hadn't felt any psychic probes, but he somehow got the feeling that the King didn't _need_ Psychic powers to read someone's heart and mind. "I have heard much about you…and little of it good."

"We've…had some mishaps along the way, Your Majesty, I'll be the first to admit that," Gary said when Caspen nodded at him that it was okay to speak. "But…we're trying to better ourselves and not make the same mistakes we have in the past."

"So I see," the King said, ruby gaze piercing Gary's soul. "A great change has come over you recently. I approve."

"Th-thank you, Your Majesty," Gary said timidly.

The King sighed. "I must confess, there was a part of me that had hoped we would never have to meet face-to-face…but your tenacity—and sheer dumb luck—surprised me, and despite our best efforts, you and your friends now stand before me…and our greatest enemy follows in your wake."

Gary cringed. "S-sorry about that."

"What is done is done," the King said. "You are here now, and soon so shall be our foe. We shall rout him, as we have before and—unless this time is any different from the last ones—most likely shall do again. And perhaps you and your friends yet have some part to play in the coming battle." A faint smile creased his face. "But come, where are my manners? Before we speak of weightier matters, I would know to whom it is I am speaking. What do you call yourselves?"

"Gary Oak, sir," Gary said. Mary gave him a surprised look. He was going by his human last name, now?

When the King glanced at her, the Medicham said, "I'm Mary, from Pokémon Square."

"I'm Evan, Mary'sss cousssin, or brother! I'm not alwaysss sssure which it isss. I think we ssshare at leassst one parent, though we might not," Evan said. "Hisssssssa'sss probably told you _all_ about me!"

"You have _no_ idea," the dark Gardevoir murmured.

"My name is Jerry, from Chicole Town," Jerry said.

"I'm Maren, of the Mirage Kingdom. Um. Not that I'm a spy from the possessed King or anything like that," Maren said quickly, even though, technically, she was, or had been.

"Janine Shinobu, also of Mirage Kingdom," Janine said.

"Callista of Chroma Ruins, uncrowned Queen of Lemewria and the Last Remnant of the Lemewrian bloodline…" Callista narrowed her eyes at the Lucario, who looked away. "Or so I thought…"

"I am honored to meet all of you, though I wish it had been under different circumstances," the King said. "Now I suppose it is my turn. I am Pastizal, King of the Berry Kingdom. This lovely creature at my side is my Queen and First Consort, Luthiel."

"Greetings and well met," the dark Gardevoir said.

"You have already met my son and heir, Prince Caspen, as well as the Swords of Justice and Kami Trio," the King said, nodding at his son and the seven legendaries. "And are familiar with your old friends Nando and Hissssa, of course."

"_Very_ familiar, in our cassse," Evan purred, causing Hissssa to giggle.

"Behind me are my advisors and ministers; Lavana, Ice, and Heath," Pastizal continued.

"Welcome to the Berry Kingdom, and thank you for giving us the first opportunity to actually field our army against an enemy in quite some time," Lavana said.

"…Uh, thanks?" Mary said uncertainly.

"Congratulations on making it this far. Few others have managed to penetrate our defenses," Ice said. "There's something oddly suspicious about that, actually. I have been studying the amount of luck, both good and bad, that seems to surround you in your travels. So many strange coincidences and conveniences happen for you. It's almost as if some higher power is aiding you…or making things worse for you, depending on its mood."

Gary narrowed his eyes. "Yeah, it's something like that."

"Welcoming to the Berry Kingdom, and am thanking you for not cause mass destruction and chaos like you is seeming to everywhere else you been!" Heath said cheerfully in broken English. "Course, I keep eye on you, so not thinking you off hook yet!"

"…Gee, thanks," Jerry said.

"They have ssso little faith in usss," Evan complained.

"Gee, I wonder why that might be. I mean, it's not as if we deprived a town of its main source of income, or ruined the lives of a bunch of Pokémon who gained demonic powers and swore vengeance against us in retribution, or blew up a theater," Mary said sarcastically.

"Exxxactly!" Evan said, completely missing the point. Mary facepalmed.

"Dear, be quiet and sssit there looking pretty. It'sss what you're bessst at," Hissssa's lightning head said.

"Okay!" Evan said happily.

"And here we have someone I believe you will be very happy to see," the King said, nodding to the Togekiss, who stepped forward with the Kirlia. "The original objective of your quest…or so you were lead to believe, anyway: Princess Sara of the Mirage Kingdom, and her fiancé, my younger son Prince Elijah."

"Greetings, Team Aurabolt and kinsfolk from my homeland," the Togekiss said in a lovely, lilting voice that spoke of a pure heart without malice or hatred. "Welcome to the Berry Kingdom. I am sorry you had to come all this way for nothing, for as you can see, I am in no peril."

"Well, some could say getting married is extreme peril," Gary joked. When Mary glared at him, he said, "Uh, but not me, of course."

"Your Majesty! We're elated to see you all right!" Maren cried. While she had come to believe Prince Caspen's assurances, a small part of her had still doubted his honesty about the Princess's condition. Seeing her like this, clearly healthy and in good shape, dispelled the last of her concerns…though the fact that she would now have to turn against her king, who was apparently possessed, still weighed deeply on her spirit.

"More than all right, I am in love with my dear Elijah here, and we shall be married as soon as this current mess is dealt with!" Sara said, brushing Elijah with a wing. Her face fell. "Including…my father…"

"Then he truly is our foe?" Janine asked, who had ridden herself of her doubts already but just wanted to make sure. "And your abduction was a rescue, not a kidnapping?"

Sara nodded. "I am afraid so. It pains my heart to think of what my father must be going through right now, trapped in his own body while one of the vilest villains to ever walk the face of the Earth uses him like a puppet. Still, it is my hope that he can be saved and the wicked King banished once more, so that he may attend Elijah and my wedding once peace has been restored."

"That is our hope as well, Your Majesty," Maren said.

"And while I am sorry you came all this way for nothing, on this fool's errand arranged by the fiend wearing my father like a cheap suit, I am gratified that you and the soldiers who came before you made it this far all the same. It speaks to the depth of your character, and your determination, to press forward even when the entire world seems arrayed against you. You honor me by your presence and dedication, and not only shall you be invited to my wedding, but once everything has been settled, you shall be knighted for all the efforts you undertook to come and find me!" Sara declared.

"We're gonna become knightsss?! Sssweet!" Evan said excitedly.

"I'm not exactly sure the things we've done are worth getting knighted over, but I'm never one to turn down a celebration in my honor!" Gary said. "Especially since…I can't remember the last time I've had one…"

"And we get to attend a wedding that's _not_ planned by Delia for a change," Mary commented. "That'll be an interesting change of pace."

"Y-Your Majesty…we are not worthy! Thank you! Thank you so much!" an overwhelmed Maren cried, bowing repeatedly.

"No, thank _you_, Maren," the Togekiss said warmly. "For showing that good can still come of evil intent. The wicked king may have sent you here as part of an evil plot, but I am certain that in coming you have sown the seeds of his destruction!"

"…I certainly hope so," Maren said uncertainly.

"If worse comes to worse, we could always throw Evan at him and see how badly he fouls things up for the guy," Janine suggested, much to Hissssa's horror.

"Yeah, that'sss a great idea!" Evan said. They waited several seconds for him to realize he'd been insulted. He did not. Somewhat awkwardly, they continued on.

"So, uh…you and the Princess, huh?" Jerry asked Prince Elijah.

The Kirlia nodded. "It was love at first sight," he said in a soft, almost effeminate voice. "That sort of thing happens a lot around here."

"I'll bet," Gary said with a smirk.

"Mewrians," Mary grumbled.

"What happened to being respectful?!" Maren hissed.

"We _are_ being respectful," Gary said.

Mary nodded. "You don't want to see us when we're disrespectful." Maren sweatdropped.

"And finally, someone I think young Callista may be very familiar with and happy to see again," the King said, nodding at the Lucario standing some distance away. Somewhat nervously, she stepped forward. "Team Nightshade, this is-"

"Maylene," Callista said coldly, causing the Lucario to flinch.

The Riolu's companions looked at her in surprise. "How did you know her name?" Gary asked.

"Because…she is my sister," Callista said icily. "Long thought deceased."

"WHAT?!" Team Nightshade cried in alarm, while at the same time Evan yelled, "Hey, wait, were you insssulting me jussst a minute ago?!"

"I thought you said your sister was dead!" Jerry said.

"Because I did not know she was still alive," Callista said angrily.

Pastizal blinked in surprise. "Dead? Why would you think she was-" Caspen shook his head. The King frowned, realizing something was wrong here. He exchanged looks with the Queen, who now had a grave look on her face.

"I…I'm sorry, little sister," Maylene, the Lucario, said softly, though there was also a hint of confusion in her voice. Why had Callista thought she was dead?

"Sorry?! All this time, we thought you were DEAD! And instead, you've been here, living it up like a Queen, practically inches from our birthright, yet you have done NOTHING but let it SIT there instead of restoring our kingdom to its former glory?!"

"I…it's complicated," Maylene said uncomfortably, startled and confused by the Riolu's behavior. Caspen moved protectively to her side.

"Then make it _un_complicated!" Callista snapped.

"See what we were talking about? We're _way_ respectful compared to that," Gary muttered to Maren, who facepalmed.

"Are you a prisoner here, sister? Is that why you never came home? Because it looks to me like you are free to do whatever you please!" Callista said angrily.

"I am! It's just…I…" Caspen took Maylene's paw. She took a deep breath, then looked at him and smiled. "I fell in love!"

Callista's eyes widened. "What."

"I did _not_ see that coming," Mary said.

"Well, I guess Sara's not the first member of outside royalty to fall for a Berry Prince," Gary commented.

"No, I'm not," Sara agreed.

"Darn," Jerry muttered. "I kind of hoped he was single." The others looked at him. "What? I'm gay, remember?"

"Oh, right," Mary said.

"Dude, I'm pretty sssure he'sss way, way , way, way, way, way, way, way, way, way, way, way, way, way, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy yyyy out of your league," Evan hissed.

"A guy can dream, can't he?" Jerry grumbled.

"Explain. _Now_," Callista demanded.

Caspen narrowed his eyes. "Even if she is your sister, you will not speak to my wife like-"

"Caspen, it's all right. She has a right to be angry," Maylene said quietly, though she wasn't entirely sure why Callista was _this_ angry. Why had she thought she was dead? Reluctantly, Caspen nodded and let her speak. "Callista, I…I'm so sorry things turned out this way."

"How did this happen?" the Riolu asked angrily.

"As you know, I left the Ruins several years ago to try and find the lost pieces of the Lemewrian Crest, to restore our lost kingdom," Maylene said. "I journeyed to Altru Tower, believing that, since nobody in living memory had made it there, that perhaps a piece might be hidden there. I thought my Aura powers would help me find a way through the wasteland, even though nobody had before." She blushed. "Imagine my surprise when I passed through the terror field and barrier and found myself in the lost paradise of the Berry Kingdom, greeted by the most handsome non-undead Pokémon I had ever seen."

"What, are you there to greet _everyone_ who comes in here?" Gary asked Caspen incredulously.

"As Crown Prince, one of my duties is to patrol our realm's borders and be on hand to deal with anyone who manages to make it through our barrier," Caspen said.

"Oh," Gary said.

"I was detained and—very politely—interrogated. After they decided that I was not, in fact, an agent of the King of Pokélantis, they gave me a choice. I could either stay in the Berry Kingdom for the rest of my life, or they could erase my memory of this wonderful place and send me on my way. And…while I did want to come back to the Ruins, and to you, Calli…" She turned to Caspen and smiled. "There was another part of me that didn't want to forget."

"…So you abandoned our duty, abandoned _me_, for a boy?! And a _living_ one at that?!" Callista screamed indignantly.

"You've never been in love, Calli. It makes you do funny things," Maylene said apologetically.

"Things like letting all of us think you were dead and lost forever?! Things like not even bothering to send a message to let us know you were all right?!" Callista demanded.

Maylene blinked in confusion. What had she just said? "You never got my message?"

"There was no message!" Callista insisted.

"But…but I sent a message! Caspen, didn't we…" Maylene asked her husband in confusion.

"After we'd decided to wed, I dispatched an emissary to Chroma Ruins to invite Callista and the rest of your family to attend, and stay with us, if they so wished," Caspen said. "However, when I mentioned you to Callista before, she had no idea what I was talking about. I'm not sure she ever got the message…and come to think of it, I'm not sure the messenger ever came _back_ either."

Callista was dumbstruck. "You…you sent…but then…why…why didn't we…"

"Callista," Janine said, struck with a thought. "You and your friends at the Ruins drive off any trespassers, don't you?"

"Yes, but-" Callista froze. "You…you don't think we scared off the messenger by mistake?!"

"But that can't be!" Maylene protested. "We chose a Ghost as the messenger because I knew spirits are always welcome at the Ruins and you would trust him, since you _despise_ the living!"

"…Many Ghosts have passed through the Chroma Plains since you left, but none of them ever carried a message from you," Callista whispered in confusion.

"Then what the heck happened to him?!" Mary demanded.

"That is something which Beartics looking into," the King said gravely. "Coballion?"

The leader of the Swords of Justice nodded. "We'll go investigate, Your Majesty. However, the Prince and Princess's wedding were years ago. The trail will have long since gone cold. Archmage Ice, may we borrow one of your mages to help us find out what happened all those years ago?"

The Froslass nodded. "You have my permission. Go to the Academy and tell them they are to assist you in any way possible."

Coballion smiled in gratitude. "Thank you, Archmage. Swords of Justice, let's move out!"

"Aww, and I wanted to see what happened next," Terrakion complained as the four warrior Pokémon left the hall.

"We'll learn about that out another day. For now, we have an important mission to accomplish," Coballion said sternly.

"You didn't send anyone out to find out what happened to the messenger when he never came back?" Mary asked once the Swords had departed.

"Shortly after the wedding, we detected activity from the King of Pokélantis and had to move quickly to stop him. The fate of the emissary became…forgotten in the middle of it, it would seem," Caspen said apologetically.

Gary frowned, a sudden alarming thought occurring to him…as well as the sudden suspicion that the Swords of Justice wouldn't find anything. If the messenger had reached Chroma Ruins, then Callista and her family would have gone to the Berry Kingdom, and might have been persuaded to stay there, despite Callista's vehement insistence on following her destiny. And if they had left the ruins, that meant they wouldn't have been there when Team Nightshade showed up looking for the Compass fragment, meaning they'd never have been able to find it and might have been forced to give up and move on to the Berry Kingdom, where they were now…_without_ having learned of the prophecy, or gathered all the pieces of the Compass together in one place. And if _that_ had happened…well, that would certainly make things difficult for the plans of a certain group of time travelers, wouldn't it? So perhaps they took it upon themselves to remove the one thing that might have stood in the way of history unfolding the way they wanted it to, causing it to go down an entirely different course instead. Amazing how the slightest of changes could have such vast and far-reaching consequences. For want of a nail, and all that.

Was not even the Berry Kingdom safe from Team Quantum's manipulations? Those bastards had plotted for Team Nightshade to come here, bringing all the pieces necessary to restore Lemewria in one place…and leading the villain who coveted the lost continent's power the most right to the location of everything he needed to take control of it for himself. Had the prophecy been just another lie, another set-up? But if that was the case…how could Team Quantum possibly benefit from letting the King of Pokélantis gain control of Lemewria?

While Gary was thinking these troubling thoughts, Callista's confrontation with her sister continued without him. "Just as _I_ was apparently forgotten," Callista said bitterly.

Maylene winced. "Calli-"

"As well as our destiny!" Callista accused angrily. "How could you turn your back on our duty, Maylene?! I don't even care that much that you got married—every Queen needs a consort, after all—it's that you just decided to abandon your dream of being a Queen and settled for being a Princess! The Luminous Crystal, one of the keys to raising Lemewria again, is right _here_, Maylene! And you did _nothing_ with it!"

"The Berry Kingdom needs the Luminous Crystal to survive, Calli!" Maylene protested.

"And our kingdom needs it to _live_, Maylene!" Callista retorted.

"Then maybe it should _stay_ dead!" Maylene snapped.

Callista reeled back in shock. "What?!"

"Lemewria has been dead and buried for thousands of years, Callista," Maylene said. "Our people have dwindled and died out for centuries since then, clinging to dreams of a faded glory, living in the past and unable to move on into the future. Lemewria is _dead_, sister. The Berry Kingdom is alive. Mightn't it be better to be a part of something that's still living, rather than try to bring back something that's dead and gone?"

"We have been raised by the dead all our lives, Maylene!" Callista said angrily. "We both know death isn't nearly that permanent!"

"Bringing back a dead Pokémon is one thing, Calli…but an entire civilization?" Maylene pointed out.

"The prophecy foretold that Lemewria would rise again!" Callista shouted.

"And that prophecy has kept our people living in a dank crypt for thousands of years guarding a stupid mirror when we could have been part of the rest of the world, experiencing sunshine and _real_ food rather than constant fog and moss and mushrooms!" Maylene shouted back. "I _hate_ that prophecy, Callista, and you should too! It's kept our people shackled for millennia, killed us off one by one, until the two of us are all that's left!"

"…No. There's only _one_ of us now, Maylene," Callista said coldly.

Maylene flinched. "Calli?"

"You are dead to me. You have turned your back on our people, on our destiny…and on me," Callista whispered. "I have no sister."

Shocked, Maylene sank to her knees. "Calli-"

"You will never call me by that name again," Callista snapped. "I always hated that nickname, anyway. I am Callista, uncrowned Queen of Lemewria, and the Last Remnant of the Lemewrian royal family. One way or another, I intend to restore our kingdom…no matter _who_ stands in my way. Even you."

Maren facepalmed. "Oh, for the love of…"

"See? What'd I tell you? We're _way_ more respectful than that!" Gary said.

"I knew this was coming," Mary said with a weary sigh.

"So…think this means they're going to throw us in the dungeons?" Jerry asked nervously.

"We're not with her and do not ssshare her opinionsss in any way, ssshape or form!" Evan said loudly.

Hissssa nodded. "What he sssaid!"

As Maylene crumpled, tears running down her cheeks, an enraged Caspen stepped forward. "How DARE you-"

"Caspen," Luthiel said suddenly. The Gallade froze, glancing at his mother. The dark Gardevoir glided forward, piercing red eyes fixed on the angry Riolu. "Young lady, while your anger may be justified, that does not excuse such behavior towards your sister. You are a guest under our roof, and I expect you to behave with all the courtesy and respect towards your hosts that that entails. Any threats against my family or my realm will _not_ be taken lightly. We will forgive this trespass this one time, but if you act like that towards my daughter again we will have words."

"Daughter?!" Callista said, startled.

"She married my son. Does that not make me her mother?" Luthiel pointed out. "And yours, too, I should think."

Callista stiffened. "The only mother I need is with me always," she said, touching the Lucario skull she wore at all times.

"And you have clearly forgotten whatever she taught you about manners," Luthiel said coldly. "You say you wish to be a Queen? Then perhaps it is best you start _acting_ like one, rather than like a child denied a piece of candy."

"The Luminous Crystal is more than just a piece of candy!" Callista said angrily.

"You are correct. It is the source of power and prosperity for an entire kingdom," Luthiel said.

"And was once the source of power and prosperity for _my_ kingdom!" Callista argued. "It is my birthright! I need it just as much you! Perhaps more so, since while your kingdom is still alive, mine is already _dead_ and has been that way for _millennia!_"

"It is our birthright, too. And our need for it is great as well. And so, it seems, we are at an impasse," the King said.

"Not necessarily," Ice spoke up abruptly, surprising everyone. "Your Majesties, a moment of your time?"

Shooting Callista a glance, the royal couple moved over to consult the sorceress while Caspen comforted Maylene, Sara and Elijah fidgeted awkwardly, Nando idly strummed his harp, and the kamis deliberated amongst themselves whether or not they should smite Callista. "You probably shouldn't have done that, you know," Gary said to the Riolu.

"She turned her back on her heritage. She deserved every word I said," she said angrily.

"You sure that's the future Queen of Lemewria talking, or a little girl who feels like her older sister's betrayed her?" Mary asked. Callista clenched her teeth but said nothing.

After a moment, the King and Queen returned, with Ice in tow. "Archmage Ice has made an interesting proposition which might prove to be an acceptable compromise," the King said.

Callista frowned. "And what would that be?"

"Callista, do you believe a fragment of the Luminous Crystal would be enough to revive Lemewria?" the Froslass Archmage asked.

Callista blinked in surprise. "A fragment?"

"Occasionally, we chip off pieces of the Luminous Crystal for study, to understand how it works and think of ways to better channel its power," Ice explained. "The Crystal slowly regenerates, so if we're careful with how much we take we don't have to worry about causing any serious drop in power."

Callista frowned. "And you are suggesting that I take such a piece and use it to reactivate Lemewria?"

"That is my proposal," Ice said.

Callista shook her head. "It will never work. Lemewria is an entire _continent_. Only the full Crystal has the power necessary to raise it into the sky once more."

"Normally that would be the case, yes," Ice said with a grin. "But my students at the Academy are on the verge of a breakthrough. We've been working on power amplifiers designed to work with shards of the Luminous Crystal for quite some time. We think we may soon be able to find a way to increase the power output of a shard of the Crystal so that it equals that of the source stone! With a device such as that, it should theoretically be possible to raise Lemewria once again with just a small piece of the Crystal, without having to deprive us of our source of power and prosperity!"

Callista considered this for a moment. "That…sounds promising…how certain are you that this would work?"

"Well, small-scale experiments with Crystal shards have proved promising so far," Ice said. "We haven't tried it out yet on anything the size of Lemewria, but the principle is sound, and if we use a large enough shard and a strong enough amplifier I see no reason it wouldn't work. And if it fails, we'll just take a bigger fragment, recalibrate, and try again."

Callista frowned. "And if it turns out that only the original Crystal will suffice?"

"Then we'll have to figure something else out. But until then, we don't know this won't work, so I think it's worth a try, don't you?" Ice said.

Callista thought about this for a moment. "…Very well. I would prefer the whole Crystal, but…I suppose it is unrealistic and unfair to deprive an entire kingdom of their light just to restore my own."

"You think?" Mary said. The Riolu ignored her.

Maylene, eyes red and puffy, blinked and looked at Ice in surprise. "Why…why didn't you mention something like this when I first came here? Back when I still thought I had a chance of raising Lemewria?"

"Back then, our power amplifier tests hadn't reached the stage they're at now, so it wasn't even a viable option," Ice said. "In addition, we did not have all the fragments of the Lemewrian Crest under one roof, so even if we had a working amplifier there wouldn't be much point. Yes, we could gather the Crest pieces ourselves, but doing so might alert our enemy to our location and make it easier for him to take what he desires, so it was deemed not worth the risk."

"But, since that is currently a moot point due to the actions of Team Nightshade…" the King began.

"We said we were sorry," Gary said sullenly.

"We now have the opportunity, and there is little reason not to seize it," the King said.

"If you could help me take my throne, I would be eternally grateful, and my nation would be forever in your debt," Callista said.

"Which is another good reason to seize this opportunity," the King said, amused.

"See, father? I _told_ you we should help raise Lemewria!" Elijah said excitedly.

The King rolled his eyes. "Yes, son, you were right. Don't rub it in, it's unbecoming of a prince."

"There is, however, one condition," the Queen said.

"Naturally," Gary said as Callista blinked in surprise. "What is it?"

"We will provide Callista with everything she needs to restore Lemewria…_if_ she can prove she is worthy of it," Luthiel said.

Callista bristled. "What?!"

"Callista, you claim that you seek to restore your destroyed country and rule over it as Queen," Luthiel said. "However, so far you have not exhibited the sort of behavior, mannerisms, or maturity a true ruler should demonstrate. I am not entirely convinced you are ready for the responsibility that comes with ruling an entire continent. You may have the blood, yes, but do you have the experience?"

Callista was about to retort that no, she hadn't really gotten much of a chance to learn how to be a Queen since she'd spent her entire life living in a crypt, until a look from Gary reminded her that the restoration of Lemewria rested entirely on these peoples' willingness to help her, so it might be best if she were to remain in their good graces. "I…suppose not, no," she admitted sullenly.

"Then let us strike a bargain. I shall train you in leadership and do my best to teach you what it means to be a monarch and a leader of a nation," Luthiel said. "When I judge you to have successfully completed your training, you shall receive a fragment of the Luminous Crystal and the means to use it to raise Lemewria with the full blessings of the Berry Kingdom."

"And how long will this training take?" Callista asked suspiciously.

"Let's say…a month. If you are not ready at that time, we will reevaluate and try again," the Queen said.

"And how am I to know that you will not simply prolong my training indefinitely to keep me from claiming my birthright?" Callista accused.

"What benefit could I possibly have in doing so? If you were to raise Lemewria with only a fragment of the Crystal rather than the whole thing, it would only be beneficial to _both _our realms," Luthiel pointed out. "Denying you that power indefinitely wouldn't help either of us in the long run. If you doubt the impartiality of my judgment, however, we can have a third party assess your worth."

"And who would that third party be?" Callista asked.

"How about your sister?" Luthiel suggested.

Maylene started. "Me?!"

"Her?!" Callista cried.

"She knows you better than anyone else here, and has received training of her own in how to rule. As such, she is better suited than I to judge whether you are truly ready to be a monarch," Luthiel said. "In addition, since she has renounced any stake that she might have had in ruling Lemewria, she gains nothing from seeing you fail _or_ succeed. Additionally, you'll be less likely to accuse her of going along with whatever decision I make out of loyalty to me."

"…I…suppose that is acceptable," Callista said grudgingly.

"If…if it'll help my sister trust me again…I'll do it," Maylene said, smiling tentatively at Callista. The Riolu frowned, but did not look away.

"An excellent test, my Queen. My father set a similar challenge for my brother and I when deciding which of us should inherit the throne," the King said.

"Wait…your father?" Gary asked in confusion.

"Are you saying you're not the original Berry King?" Jerry asked in surprise.

The King shook his head. "No, the original Berry King, the legendary ruler who united an entire continent, was my father. He was slain in battle with the King of Pokélantis—the same battle which left me with these wounds I still bear—and I was forced to take his place." He glanced wistfully at the dead tree that had been shaped into a throne. "But even though I rule his kingdom, I shall never sit in that throne. It was meant for one mon, and one mon only…and I am not he."

"Oh," Maren said, oddly heartbroken. The Berry King had been one of her favorite childhood heroes growing up, and when she had learned his kingdom was real and still existed, even if he was apparently her nation's enemy, a part of her had been thrilled that she might meet him. And now, she found out, she never would.

"Just who _is_ this guy, anyway?" Mary asked. "I mean, we know he's an ancient evil spirit of some long-dead human who wants to claim Lemewria for himself, but why is he so powerful? How come you haven't been able to get rid of him yet?"

"And what'sss hisss name?" Evan asked. Everyone looked at him. "What? We gotta call him sssomething. We can't jussst keep calling him the King of Pokélantisss, essspecccially sssinccce Pokélantisss isssn't around anymore."

"Lemewria isn't around, but I'm going to be its Queen," Callista pointed out.

"Yesss, but Pokélantisss isss gone and never coming back," Evan said. He paused. "I think."

"Strange as it may sound, Evan has a point," Maren admitted. "Does our enemy have a name?"

"Whatever the King's original name, it has been lost to the mists of time," Pastizal said. "Now, though, we call him 'Morkul.' "

"Oooh, how Tokiensssque," Evan hissed.

"In an ancient tongue, it means 'King of Evil,' which is as apt a description for him as anything else," Luthiel said gravely.

"So which part means King and which part means Evil?" Gary wondered.

"And which part meansss 'of?' There'sss only two sssyllablesss," Evan said. Everyone stared at him. "What? It'sss an honessst quessstion."

"The reason the King is so dangerous," Lavana spoke up as though Evan had said nothing. "Is because he's pretty much immortal. Nothing we've thrown at him can affect him, just whatever host he's occupying at the moment."

"We at the Academy believe that his hatred, greed, and lust for power and revenge against Lemewria are able to sustain his life-force even though he's been dead for thousands of years," Ice said. "The only thing keeping him out of the Berry Kingdom is the pure positive energy generated by the Luminous Crystal, which is anathema to him, though he still covets its power, enough to ally with the wicked Nihilators to try and get it for himself. Even that light can do little more than repel him, however, rather than destroy him, and if he were to take the Crystal for himself, even its light might not be able to outshine his darkness."

"He is also being capable of possessing anyone excepting citizens of Kingdom Berry," Heath said.

"Why is that?" Mary asked.

"The Crystal's light shines upon us from birth to death, and makes citizens of the Berry Kingdom immune to his power," Pastizal said. "Hence why he has to possess others to strike at us, or send agents."

"Like the Mirage King," Maren murmured.

"Or us," Janine said quietly.

"His immortality is also one of his greatest assets, since it means that he may potentially outlast all of us and our descendants," Lavana said. "We of the Berry Kingdom are long-lived, but not immortal for the most part."

"Well, we are," Thundurus said.

"But we aren't strong enough to defeat him," Tornadus said embarrassedly. "We're only lesser gods, after all."

"We believe it might be possible to imprison him, however," Ice continued. "He was sealed away once, after all, so it should be feasible to do it again. Of course, we'd have to actually _catch_ him first."

"Which may mean his current stratagem might prove fortuitous for us," Pastizal said. "We know who his current host is, and that he will come here. That may give us the opportunity we need to capture and imprison the King, if we can remove him from his host first."

"Great! How do we do that?" Maren asked, leaping onto any suggestion that might save her liege.

"The power of Aura should suffice," Princess Sara said.

Maylene nodded. "An Aura Purge has the power to cleanse the body and spirit and remove poisons and evils. I, or any of the other Aura Masters in the Berry Kingdom, should have the power to exorcise Morkul from the Mirage King. It may be the only effective way to expel him from a host, since his spirit is too strong to be removed by most other forms of exorcism without damaging his vessel."

"Unfortunately, he knows that too, so he'll probably run whenever someone with Aura confronts him," Lavana said. "We're working on a strategy to trap him and make it impossible for him to avoid a good Purging, though. After that, it'll be up to Ice's magi to seal him away."

Ice nodded. "And we think we've found a good way to do it, too. Once upon a time, our own Luminous Crystal was a foul Shadow Crystal. The gems known as the Tears of Princes, however, were able to cleanse it and continue to make sure its light is pure even to this day. If we could trap him in a fragment of the Crystal, then bathe that fragment in the light of the Tears or pieces of the Tears, it should—if not outright destroying his evil soul—imprison him in a cage of light, hopefully forever."

"Sounds like a plan," Gary said.

"What part do we play in this?" Mary asked.

The King blinked in surprise. "None. You are civilians, not soldiers, and this is not your battle. Morkul has been our foe for centuries, and we are best suited to combat him and his Nihilator allies. You lack the same resistance to his evil magic that we do, so would be more vulnerable to his influence, and therefore might prove a liability on the battlefield."

"That, and you aren't very good fighters," Lavana said.

"…Gee, thanks for the boost to my self-esteem," Gary said sarcastically.

"_I_ am a soldier," Janine pointed out.

"And I would not mind helping out as well," Callista said.

"Janine, you'll be helping us in your own way by getting in touch with your brother and assisting him in wresting control of the Mirage Kingdom back from Morkul," Caspen said. "As for you, Callista…you are too important for us to risk. Like Maylene, you are one of the keys to reactivating Lemewria due to your bloodline. If Morkul were to possess you and escape…"

"…I see your point," Callista admitted reluctantly.

"Then what exactly are we supposed to do while this whole big battle is going on?" Jerry asked.

"Remain here, where it is safe," Luthiel said.

"Oh. Yeah, I'm okay with that," Jerry said.

Gary nodded. "Yeah, I'm not really relishing fighting in a war either." _Though why do I get the feeling we'll get dragged into it anyway?_

"Ssso long asss I can ssstay with Hisssssssa, I'm happy asss can be!" Evan hissed

Pained expressions appeared on all eight of Hissssa's faces. "Actually, Evan, we've agreed to help out during the battle," the fire head said regretfully.

"WHAT! WHY?!" Evan screamed in horror.

"My new powersss make me a big assset on the battlefield," the water head said apologetically.

"Plusss, the people here have been ssso niccce to me. They helped me unlock my true potential!" the earth head said.

"Ssso I feel like I have to pay them back in whatever way I can," the lightning head said.

"But-but-but you might get hurt! Or lossse one of your headsss!" Evan protested. "And I love _all_ of your headsss, I can't bear to lossse a sssingle one!"

The poison head laughed. "Don't worry, Evan. Thanksss to tapping into the power of my ancccessstor, I've become virtually indessstructible now."

The wind head nodded. "My ssscalesss have hardened thanksss to the power passsed down from Yamatorochi, ssso now the only thing that can pierccce my flesssh isss a sssacred sssword, blesssed by moonlight…and I highly doubt a bad guy like Morkul'sss gonna have one of thossse lying around!"

The dark head kissed Evan on the head, nearly engulfing it in her mouth. "Don't worry, sssweetie, we'll help the niccce Berry people wrap thisss up and be back in time for sssome more sssexxxy fun time before you've even had breakfassst."

Evan considered this for a moment. "Well, sssexxxy fun time _doesss_ sssound good…and ssso doesss breakfassst!"

"There'sss my boy!" the light head hissed, nuzzling Evan affectionately.

"…Sexy fun time with Evan…yeah, didn't need that mental image…" Gary muttered.

"And what will happen to us after this crisis is over?" Janine asked.

"My wedding, of course!" Sara said.

Elijah nodded. "And once we're wed, the final piece of the Lemewrian Crest can be removed from her crown and Callista can use it to restore Lemewria and fulfill her destiny. After her training with my mother is complete, of course."

"Of course," Callista grunted.

"After that, all of you are free to either stay here in the Berry Kingdom or go wherever you choose," Pastizal said. "If our plan to imprison Morkul works, we will no longer need to hide ourselves from the rest of the world; it was only because of him that we cut ourselves off from the rest of Almiore to begin with. As such, there will be no need for us to keep you here or to erase your memories of our realm."

"Well, that's a relief," Mary said.

"Yeah. As nice as this place is, we should probably head back to Pokémon Square after things are settled here and we fulfill that prophecy and get Callista set up in Lemewria," Gary agreed.

"I'll go wherever Hisssssssa goesss," Evan said loyally. "Though I'd rather not ssstay in thisss Mary Sssuetopia if I can help it. What with the way everything ssseemsss ssso gossshdarn perfect I'm sssure there'sss either a horribly dark sssecret you're hiding or you guysss are gonna get completely thrassshed in the near future. No offenssse, that'sss jussst the way thessse thingsss tend to go."

"…What did he just-" the Queen started to say.

"Ignore our friend, he's an idiot," Mary said.

"Aw, hun, of courssse I'll come back with you to Pokémon Sssquare! I'd love to meet your parentsss!" Hissssa's fire head said.

"Yay!" Evan said ecstatically.

"Oh, joy," Mary groaned. "And then my parents are gonna nag me about my hookup with Gary…and why I only settled for _one_ guy…"

"I guess I could head back to Chicole Town…" Jerry said uncertainly.

"Janine and I will probably return with Princess Sara and her new husband to the Mirage Kingdom," Maren said.

Sara nodded. "While I love it here, the Mirage Kingdom is my home, and it'll need me more than ever once this is all over."

"And my place is with my bride, so I will go wherever she does," Elijah said, earning him a warm smile from the Togekiss.

"And you all know where I shall be," Callista said. "In my new home, floating through the skies above."

"And I shall return to my beloved Pueltown, so I may finish composing the epic ballad I've been writing based on this series of events," Nando said. "What a song it shall be! And I bet it'll make a great musical too, a true comedy of errors!"

"…Yeah, that's pretty much our life in a nutshell," Gary said, disgruntled.

"It is settled, then," Pastizal said. "We shall be sorry to see you go, for it is always sad to part with guests and good friends. But if that is where your paths take you, then so be it. In any event, I believe we have covered everything of importance. Tonight we shall have a feast and celebration in your honor, but until then you may do whatever you please."

"Except for you, Janine. We need your help to send that message off to your brother," Lavana said. "But after that, your time is your own."

The Ninjask nodded. "Very well."

"Do you wish to start training me now, Your Majesty?" Callista asked the Queen.

Luthiel shook her head. "Perhaps tomorrow. After your long journey here, I'm sure you will want a chance to rest and unwind…and perhaps to get reacquainted with your sister?"

Callista glanced at Maylene, who gave her a nervous, hopeful look. "…Perhaps," she said grudgingly.

"Almost all of my palace and its myriad pleasures and pursuits are at your service while you reside under my roof," the King continued.

"Including the royal harem?" Evan asked hopefully. When Hissssa glared at him, he said, "What? I only asssk for the othersss! You're all I need, baby!"

"Oh, Evan," the dark head cooed, nuzzling him.

"No, not that," the King said. "We have courtesans to satisfy that need, though."

"That, uh, is very generous," Gary said, feeling Mary's eyes on him. "But I shall respectfully decline."

"As will I," Mary said.

"I won't take anything that has a pulse," Callista said warningly.

"Janine and I are exclusive," Maren said. The Ninjask nodded.

"I wouldn't mind one. So long as he's a guy," Jerry said. Everyone looked at him. "What? I'm gay."

"Neither of those should be a problem," Pastizal said, much to both Callista and Jerry's relief. "We have prepared rooms for you that should, I pray, meet your satisfaction. My servants shall take you to them, and if you require anything, speak into one of the communication crystals and someone will be there shortly with whatever you need, or to escort you around the palace, if that is what you desire."

"That is most generous of you, Your Majesty, and my team and I thank you for your hospitality," Gary said with such humility that Maren did a double-take, wondering if he'd been replaced by an impostor while she wasn't looking. "However, before we part ways and this audience is at an end…I'm afraid that you were mistaken earlier."

The King frowned, as did everyone else, wondering what he was getting at. "About what?"

"We _haven't_ covered everything, Your Highness. There is one last matter we need to discuss that I think you should be concerned about. A threat to your kingdom, your subjects, your centuries of prosperity…and possibly even your own life. A threat potentially greater even than Morkul," Gary said.

The King narrowed his eyes, a puzzled and concerned look on his face. "And what threat would that be?"

"The Faceless One, the enigmatic leader of these 'Nihilators' whom Morkul has allied himself with?" Callista guessed.

"No, not him," Gary said. "Well, yeah, I guess he's a problem too, but he's not who I was talking about. No, I'm talking about the ones who wrote the prophecy that led to Callista and her ancestors spending thousands of years living in a tomb, who robbed me of a dear friend while I was alive, who twisted my mind to make me what I am now, and who have been pulling our strings—and possibly the strings of everyone else in the world—for longer than I dare to even imagine."

Pastizal's frown deepened as his family and vassals exchanged concerned looks. "Enough of these riddles. Out with it. Who are you speaking of?"

Gary's eyes narrowed. "Tell me, great King…have you ever heard of a group of time travelers going by the name of Team Quantum?"

The dramatic moment was ruined when Evan abruptly yelled, "Hey, did you guysss call me an idiot?! And insult me?! And what'sss that about me being a consssort?!" Hissssa facetailed. Eight times.

…

Elsewhere…

Ritchie wasn't sure what he had expected Judgment's central headquarters to be like, but it certainly wasn't this. A fortress, perhaps, or maybe a giant cathedral out in the middle of nowhere. Perhaps even a small city, with statues of Arceus and pictures of Light of Justice everywhere.

He _certainly_ hadn't expected to find a lush, paradisiacal landscape of green hills and lush forests and sweeping rivers and lakes with several pastoral settlements dotting the countryside. He hadn't expected tall mountains rising up around the outskirts of this beautiful realm, surrounding it completely. He hadn't expected an unusual sky, shimmering with a variety of colors rather than just being blue and cloudy due to the powerful illusion Light of Justice himself had created to shield this place, called 'New Eden,' from the rest of the world. He _had_ expected the massive cathedral looming over the hidden realm hewn from the surrounding mountainsides, but it looked less like the home of an oppressive religious sect and more a place of Arceus, which he supposed had been the intention.

He also hadn't expected there to be so many Pokémon, and a good number of them not even members of Judgment itself! As Light of Justice himself had explained to him, most of the residents of New Eden were Pokémon who had been liberated from troubled places around the world. Refugees of battered homes and impoverished nations, freed slaves and unjustly arrested political prisoners, victims of wars and abuse and suffering, granted a safe place to live from the hell that had been their pasts. And while he had expected them to be overly religious and fanatical towards their cause and leader—which they were-he hadn't expected them to be, for the most part, friendly and rational people, although there was an undercurrent of hostility against him and his team for reasons he didn't quite understand that he felt went beyond them being on opposite sides from their beloved leader, especially since said leader had publically announced that they would be allies for the time being. They also seemed genuinely _happy_, and didn't look or behave at all like they were being ruled by a corrupt theocracy, like Zippo had expected. They didn't seem to live in constant fear that they would be horrifically punished for sinning or somehow failing to carry out Arceus' will; if they screwed up they confessed at the cathedral or a local temple—even if it was for something unimportant—and went on with their lives, simple as that. When asked about this, Light of Justice had told Ritchie that it was easier to draft loyal and honorable soldiers from a loving populace with a (mostly) gentle hand, because ones who were broken and trained through terror and brutality tended to be too screwed up to actually fair well on a battlefield and were routed on their first encounter with a genuinely well-trained and prepared opponent.

And Light of Justice was also not quite what Ritchie had expected. He'd run into the Zoroark a few times in the past, and he'd seemed a decent enough guy he'd felt he could be friends with if it weren't for the fact that he was a terrorist leader trying to violently remove all evil from the Earth with an alarming amount of collateral damage. But after spending a few days under his (surprisingly humble) roof and getting to know him a little better, Ritchie slowly started to feel like he was actually growing to like his archenemy. He was decent, honest, honorable, a benevolent boss to his subordinates and a father to his mons, and seemed to genuinely regret not only that circumstances had forced them to be on separate sides, but that he had taken the actions he had so far in his crusade against evil.

That did not excuse the fact that he'd still taken those actions, however, and that innocent people had been hurt in the process. Ritchie had to remind himself more and more of that as time went on, though. He'd privately asked Rose to check to see if any mind-altering magic or drugs were being used on him and she reported that his perceptions were his own, and anything he might be feeling towards Light of Justice was genuine. He wasn't sure how he felt about that.

Still, despite whatever misgivings he might have about the guy, when Light of Justice appeared at the door to his suite in the early evening and asked if he'd like to take a walk with him, Ritchie had seen no reason to refuse. Unlike that Ghetsis guy whom Ritchie was growing to dislike more and more whenever he saw the Hydreigon, he knew Light of Justice could be trusted for the most part, and that nothing untoward would happen to him or his friends while they were separated from each other.

"Where are we going, exactly?" Ritchie asked as they left the cathedral and started walking across well-manicured lawns and down smoothly paved roads across the countryside of New Eden. Along the way, they passed gardeners and priests and soldiers of Judgment and even just regular townsfolk coming to or from the cathedral to pray, and they always bowed respectfully to Light of Justice, who never failed to greet them by name and ask how they were doing. Ritchie marveled at this. Did Light of Justice know not just everyone in his organization, but everyone in his _entire realm_?

"I want to show you something. Something that I hope will help you to understand my organization, and perhaps me, a little better," the Zoroark said enigmatically.

"O…kay," Ritchie said somewhat dubiously.

"By the way, you'll be happy to know that work on de-petrifying Melody is going quite well," Light of Justice said. "And that I've finally managed to convince everyone we're not going to sacrifice her to unlock the power of the Plates. I have no idea how that rumor got started in the first place."

Ritchie sighed in relief. "Thank you! You have no idea how glad I was when I found out that was just a load of hooey. Do you know when Melody will be back to normal?"

"With our top scientists and sorcerers, your friends Zippo and Rose, and Vulgara all working on it, it shouldn't be much longer. The fact that we have all sixteen Plates under one roof at last so we can utilize their combined power doesn't hurt, either!" Light of Justice said. "Sorry again for her getting cursed in the first place. That was never supposed to happen. Vulgara's always been a little…overzealous with her spell-slinging."

"So Rose has told me. And thank you again for reuniting Cruise with his biological father," Ritchie said.

"It was no problem. I can't imagine where he got the idea that he was a brainwashed slave, though. We don't do that," Light of Justice said, perplexed.

"Er, yeah, I wonder where," Ritchie said awkwardly. "So, uh, how's planning the offensive against the Nihilators going?"

"Very well. We have recently acquired an item which will facilitate our travel to Mars," Light of Justice said. "A magical stone from Fichina."

"Really? Cool!" Ritchie said. "When will we be going, then?"

"We'll need to wait for your friends from Team Aurabolt to act before we can do anything," Light of Justice said. "They need to reach Mars first and open a portal before the stone we obtained will activate. Once it does…"

"We'll go right through, and can fight alongside Ash and anyone else who's getting involved in the fight against the Nihilators! Sweet!" Ritchie said. "It'll be fun to fight next to Ash again!"

"I was rather hoping that when we went into battle, you would be by _my_ side, actually," Light of Justice said.

"So you still want to go to the front yourself?" Ritchie asked, flattered.

The Zoroark nodded. "I have sat in my cathedral and watched my followers fight and die in my name against the forces of evil for too long. The Nihilators are among the greatest villains who have ever threatened the Earth. I want to be there in person to pass Judgment on them."

"Heh. I'll bet Ghetsis doesn't like that," Ritchie said.

Light of Justice's face darkened. "Ghetsis is not the leader of Judgment, no matter how much he likes to pretend he is. I am, and I will do as I see fit."

Ritchie made a face. "What's that guy's deal, anyway? Nearly everyone here loves you…but he seems to _hate_ you and is constantly trying to second-guess and undermine your decisions."

Light of Justice sighed. "The story behind Ghetsis and I is a long and sordid one, and not one I wish to discuss. Simply put, when he and the Sages put me into power, I was not the obedient puppet they expected me to be. I believe they are _dearly_ regretting making me the King."

"Well, it's not like they can do anything about it. Other than kill you and put someone new in your place," Ritchie joked. When Light of Justice's expression didn't change, Ritchie's face paled. "Wait…you don't mean-"

"Let's just say that I don't keep Anthea and Concordia around solely because I love them and they're good bedmates," Light of Justice said grimly.

"And you haven't done anything about it?!" Ritchie asked incredulously.

"While I am more well-liked than Ghetsis by far, he still has a very sizable power base, and I have no proof as of yet of any connection he might have to the assassination attempts. As such, if I were to excommunicate him at the moment, it would tear Judgment apart," Light of Justice said. "So for the moment I have no choice but to keep that wretched Seviper close to my breast, and wait for the time when I may finally be rid of him…a time which fast approaching, I believe."

"Good," Ritchie said. "That guy creeps me the heck out."

Light of Justice nodded. "It is in part because of him that our organization has taken so many innocent lives in our crusade against evil…though I freely admit I have a share of the blame in that as well. And speaking of which…I do believe we're here."

Ritchie frowned, realizing they'd reached a small park dominated by two large semicircular walls, one white, and the other black. A small bubbling fountain stood in the center, surrounded by trees and flowerbeds, with benches lining the short paths. There was writing on the inside curve of both walls, and several bouquets, photographs, toys, candles, pebbles, and other trinkets were piled at the base of the white wall. The sun was setting now, beyond the illusory veil covering the sky, and the rippling lights above cast a rosy glow over the wall, illuminating the writing on it…writing that, Ritchie suddenly realized, were _names_. He noticed that a Chingling was placing a set of bells among the other objects lying with care before the white wall. The Chingling was crying. "What…is this place?" Ritchie asked.

"The Garden of Remembrance," Light of Justice said. "Come. This is what I wanted to show you."

They approached the white wall. The Chingling, its weeping sounding like the jangling of discordant bells, started and stumbled back when it noticed Light of Justice, its whole body ringing as it did so. "O-Oh! My Lord Light of Justice! P-please forgive me, I didn't notice-" The Chingling stiffened and glared at Ritchie with a look of pure, unbridled hatred that startled the Lucario. "You! What are _you_ doing here?!"

"I-I'm-" Ritchie started.

"He is with me, Marilyn," Light of Justice said. "I came here to show him the Wall." He smiled and crouched to the ground so he could get a better look at the bells the Chingling had just deposited. "You did good work on these bells. Your mother must be proud. Another gift for your father?"

Marilyn nodded, her body making a jingling sound as he did so. "Y-yes. They were always his favorite kind of bells, and…and I thought he'd like them."

"I'm sure that wherever in the Heavens he is, he _loves_ them, just as much as he loved you and your mother," Light of Justice said calmly.

"Y-yeah…and I know he loved _you_, Lord Light! We all do!" Marilyn said excitedly. "Someday, when I get older, I want to join Judgment, and do Arceus' work just like he did!"

Light of Justice stiffened slightly as Marilyn said this, but only Ritchie noticed. Smoothly, the Zoroark said, "Well, I hope that day doesn't come for a long, long time, Marilyn. You still have a lot of growing up to do. But when you're older, if you're still sure you want to join us, come see me and I'll see what I can do about finding a place for you in my organization. Okay?"

"Okay!" Marilyn said happily.

"Now run along home to your mother, it's almost dinnertime, and I'm fairly sure you're not supposed to be out after dark," Light of Justice said.

"Okay! May Arceus's light shine on you, Light of Justice!" Marilyn said cheerfully. "Oh, and I hope you burn in the Abyss forever, you horrible murderer," she said to Ritchie before skipping away, jingling.

Ritchie blinked. "…The heck was that all about?"

"Not much, you just killed her father," Light of Justice said.

"Oh, ok…wait, WHAT?!" Ritchie cried.

"You killed her father," Light of Justice repeated.

"Wh-what?! No I didn't!" Ritchie protested.

Light of Justice raised an eyebrow. "Then you're saying you've never, at any point during your encounters with my forces, killed a Duosion with some bells wrapped around his wrist?"

"What? I…I dunno, I've killed a lot of…your…soldiers…" Ritchie said slowly.

"Yes," Light of Justice said pointedly. "You have."

"…Light…how…how many of your guys have I killed?" Ritchie asked, horror dawning on him.

"More than I think you want to hear," Light of Justice said.

"And…" Ritchie swallowed. "How…how many of them…had kids like Marilyn there, or…"

"Or spouses or siblings or parents or _families_ living here in New Eden?" Light of Justice finished. Ritchie nodded. "More than I think you want to hear."

Ritchie's stomach lurched. "But they…they were trying to kill me, I had to defend myself, a-and they…if I hadn't stopped them they'd probably have hurt lots of innocent people!"

"You are absolutely correct on all counts," Light of Justice said. "But while to you and your friends, my soldiers were simply enemies that needed to be stopped, and cutting them down and not thinking about it later was the simplest and quickest option…to many of the people here in New Eden, they were friends. Family. _Heroes._ And you killed them. And while you're right, they probably would have deprived other people of their friends and families if you hadn't stopped them, do you think that really means a thing to the people they've left behind, who loved and revered them and believed they were doing Arceus' work?"

Ritchie threw up then. He at least managed to do it in some bushes rather than covering some of the gifts at the base of the wall—and how many were left for people he'd personally killed, he wondered—in his sick. "What…what is this wall?" Ritchie moaned, feeling lower than he had in quite a long time, Marilyn's look of rage and hatred, fueled by pure grief and loss, fixed in his mind. Was this, then, why so many people here despised his team? "Why have you brought me here?"

"This, Ritchie, is the Wall of Martyrs," Light of Justice said, using his illusion powers to illuminate all of the names on the wall so that they stood out from the white stone. "Here are inscribed the names of every agent of Judgment who dies in my service."

"…There are so many…" Ritchie whispered.

"_Too_ many," Light of Justice said sadly. "Do not concern yourself, Ritchie, your team is only responsible for a fraction of the names on this wall. I did not bring you here to make you feel guilty for your actions or doubt the choices you have made, although I _did_ want you to realize that, while you did the right thing and saved lives, in doing so you have broken hearts and ruined others. Actions have consequences, and even doing the right thing doesn't mean it'll all be good in the end. Not for everyone."

"Why _did_ you bring me here, then?" Ritchie asked, trying to quash down the sense of overwhelming guilt he was feeling, despite Light of Justice's words.

"To understand _my_ guilt," Light of Justice said. "And how I have come to the decision I am about to make."

Ritchie blinked in surprise. "Huh?"

"Ritchie, while you are responsible for a fraction of the names on this wall, I am responsible for _all_ of them," Light of Justice said. "For while I never killed a single one of them myself, their deaths are on my conscience. _I _sent them out on missions I knew there was little chance they would come back from. _I_ sent them out against the forces of evil time and again, knowing they would risk their lives. _I_ sent them out on assignments I knew without a shadow of a doubt they would not survive. All of them died because they put their faith in me. All of them _knew_ they would probably die…and yet they went anyway, because they loved me."

"Then why didn't Marilyn hate you? Or any of the families of those soldiers?" Ritchie asked.

Light of Justice laughed bitterly. "Because I am the King of Judgment. I am perfect and can do no wrong, the prophesized messiah who will bring peace and order to the world. No, they cannot hate me, Ritchie. They _revere_ me, even if I am not worthy of that sentiment." He shrugged. "Of course, the fact that I strive to play a part of all of their lives, come in person to tell them when their loved ones have fallen in my service, and do my best to pay reparations and care for the families they left behind probably helps."

"That's an awfully decent thing for you to do," Ritchie said, impressed.

Light of Justice snorted. "Ghetsis doesn't think so. He believes that knowing that their loved ones died in Arceus' name and have assuredly earned their place in the Celestial Heavens should be reward enough. I think otherwise. I think otherwise about a lot of things Ghetsis believes."

"I'll bet," Ritchie said.

Light of Justice touched the wall. "Once, Ritchie, there was no wall here. Before I rose to power, Judgment was a very different place, under the rule of the Seven Sages. They controlled the populace through fear and terror. Threats of excommunication, torture, and visits from inquisitors were almost constant. When a soldier died, his sacrifice wasn't acknowledged, and certainly received no memorial. When I became King, though, that all changed. I believed that our organization would be more effective if ruled through love rather than fear, and made sweeping changes that have led to the current, more peaceful climate in New Eden that you might have noticed. I also ordered this wall to be built, so that those who died for Judgment…for _me_…would not be forgotten. It's safe to say that Ghetsis and the Sages didn't like that one bit. They'd expected me to be their perfect figurehead and do whatever they say." His expression darkened. "They thought wrong. I will be _nomon's_ puppet."

Ritchie tried to think for a moment about what Judgment might have been like if led by Ghetsis. He didn't like it very much. "You've done a good job. Even if you're still an extremist who sacrifices his own soldiers and harms countless innocents for the 'greater good.'"

A pained look crossed Light of Justice's face. "Yes, well…that might not be the case for much longer."

Ritchie blinked. "Huh?"

"Building a wall to commemorate those who died in my service wasn't enough. I wanted to know who these brave souls were that were willing to die in my name. If they wanted to entrust their life in my hands, I wanted to make certain I knew just how much that life was worth," Light of Justice continued, looking at the names. "Whenever someone wished to join the organization, be they from within New Eden or from without, I personally conducted the interview whenever possible to see whether they were truly ready to be part of my cause. I learned not just their names, but who they were, their friends and family, why they were so determined to give their lives up for me. Some I allowed to join. Others I did not. Suffice to say, the number of new recruits decreased for a while after that."

"And Ghetsis wasn't pleased?" Ritchie asked.

Light of Justice shook his head. "No, he wasn't. I thought that getting to know my soldiers better would make it easier for me to send them out on tasks which I knew might result in their deaths. I was wrong. If anything it made it harder, because I _knew_ them now and had faces to attach to every name, and it made me more keenly aware of their loss, especially when I saw the tears on the faces of their families when I told them of their demise. Out of guilt, I tried to impress upon my followers that they didn't _have_ to sacrifice themselves if they didn't have to to complete a mission, and that willing to _live_ for a cause and for the people you left behind is better than being willing to die for it. Death tolls dropped quite a lot after that, but never enough to completely satisfy me, especially since Ghetsis and his ilk keep trying to undermine me and convince our soldiers that the opposite is true, and that dying for Judgment is the greatest thing that they could ever achieve with their miserable lives."

"That asshole," Ritchie growled.

Light of Justice sighed. "For the longest time, I convinced myself it was for the greater good, that all these deaths, no matter how unpleasant or even senseless, served Arceus' cause and it would be justified in the end. I continued to tell myself this in the faces of all the sorrowful widowers and widows and children and parents and siblings whose hearts I broke when I told them their loved ones weren't coming home again. And then something happened that caused me to doubt once again."

"What?" Ritchie asked.

"Let me show you," Light of Justice said.

He led Ritchie across the garden towards the second wall, the black one. The sun had fully set by now, and the colors overhead had grown muted, darker. Neither of them required a light, though, since Ritchie had Aura-sight and as a Zoroark Light of Justice had night vision. As they approached, Ritchie realized that the black wall was also covered in names…many more names than the Wall of Martyrs, written in much tinier script so that they could all fit in. "Who's on this wall?"

"This, Ritchie, is the Wall of the Innocent," Light of Justice said. "The names written here belong to bystanders and civilians who we have either directly or indirectly harmed in our pursuit of justice."

"All these people have been killed because of your organization?!" Ritchie cried in horror.

"What? No!" Light of Justice said, startled. "I mean…yes, many of the people on this wall _are_ dead, but those aren't the only ones written here. I said people we have _harmed_, not killed."

"Oh," Ritchie said. He made a face. "There's still an _awful_ lot of names here, though. Even more than on the Wall of Martyrs. It's enough to make some of the sympathy I was starting to feel for you just a minute ago feel a little misdirected."

"You are right to feel that way. There are far, _far_ too many names here for my liking," Light of Justice said sadly. "Your name is on here too, you know."

"It is?" Ritchie asked in surprise.

"Certainly," Light of Justice said, using his powers to highlight Ritchie's name. "And so are Melody's, and Cruise's, and Rose's, and Captain Salty's. All of them, and you, have suffered due to my organization and some of the Pokémon in it. I am debating whether or not to add the rest of your teammates to the wall as well, since even though we have had nothing to do with whatever hardships they may have suffered in life, they have probably been hurt fighting us."

"That's…that's really sweet of you, Light," Ritchie murmured, staring at the names of him and his friends in disbelief. It felt weird, seeing them up there along with the rest of Judgment's victims. He knew he should probably feel angry at Light of Justice for hurting so many people…but the guy seemed so torn up about it, Ritchie found himself feeling sorry for him again, and decided to hear him out. The leader of Judgment was working up to something; Ritchie was sure of that…he just didn't know _what _yet.

"Sadly, this list is by no means completely accurate," Light of Justice said sorrowfully. "It is an even more recent addition to New Eden than the Wall of Martyrs, which means there's no telling how many innocents were hurt before its construction whose names were never recorded…and how many we continue to harm who fall through the cracks and never even make it on here."

"What inspired you to make something like this?" Ritchie asked.

"Much like the Wall of Martyrs, guilt," Light of Justice said. "A few years back, we passed Judgment on a particularly notorious ring of sex slavers and child pornographers located in a major city. As is standard procedure, we secured the facility, freed the victims, and then had our Jurors pass Judgment and our Executioners carry out the sentence on the criminals responsible. We then destroyed the entire facility."

"Why didn't you call the cops?" Ritchie asked.

"They were in on the take," Light of Justice said. "In fact, quite a few were patronizing the establishment when my soldiers struck. The Executioners took pleasure in making them pay for desecrating their service to the pursuit of justice."

"Oh," Ritchie said in disgust.

"After receiving a report of the successful venture and welcoming the freed Pokémon to New Eden—those whom were unable to return to their families, that is—I decided to see what the media had to say about our endeavors. While I was delighted that the evidence we had left behind implicated a variety of wealthy backers around the city who'd bankrolled the slave ring and exposed corruption among the police department as well as the upper echelons of the city's government, I was appalled to discover that the explosion caused by the slavers' base of operation had caused several other tenements to catch fire, and dozens of Pokémon had been hurt or killed. This troubled me, for while I had objectively known that innocent bystanders occasionally got hurt in our operations, I had never really thought about it beyond regretting it as a necessity for our cause. This spurred me to look up write-ups of the consequences of many of our past missions to see what it said about civilian casualties. The…results were far worse than I had expected."

"I can imagine," Ritchie murmured.

"I was almost driven to stop our operations altogether, but I was convinced that our duty was too important to cease just because a few people got hurt along the way," Light of Justice said angrily.

"Let me guess: Ghetsis?" Ritchie asked.

Light of Justice nodded. "He can be very persuasive. However, I am wise to his tricks now, and will no longer allow him to manipulate me."

"That's good, but you didn't stop your operations," Ritchie pointed out. "In fact, a lot of innocent people got hurt because of the things your guys did when we fought them. So far I haven't seen any big change."

"Actually, I've done my best to make sure casualties have dropped, as well as sending reparations to the families of any victims of our operations I can locate," Light of Justice said. "I have deep pockets, and many fronts and dummy corporations through which I can send philanthropic aid and try to rebuild that which I have destroyed. That, and I made this wall here to remind me of all the people I have hurt in my quest to punish the wicked."

"That's nice, but it doesn't make up for the fact that those people were hurt or killed in the first place, or that you didn't _stop _hurting people," Ritchie argued.

"I am aware of that," Light of Justice said with a sigh. "That is because back then, I was still able to justify those losses as necessary to the greater good. However…" He shook his head despondently. "However…I can't do it anymore. There are too many names on both walls. I can't keep telling myself that this is all for the will of Arceus…because I cannot imagine a loving God would ever want this many deaths in His name."

Ritchie snorted. "About time you figured that out. What changed your mind?"

"Would you believe that it was you and your friends?" Light of Justice said.

"Oh yeah?" Ritchie said, intrigued.

Light of Justice nodded. "For ages, Judgment has pursued the Plates of Arceus, so that we may use their combined power to purify the world. I was told all my life that the Plates were our destiny, and that I was the chosen one who would unite their power to eradicate all evil in the world. The fact that I can use one of the Plates, the Dread Plate, seemed like a sign that Arceus was with us, for if He was not, then why would one of His most sacred relics work for me at all?"

"And then we showed up and were able to use our own Plates," Ritchie guessed.

Light of Justice nodded. "It was inconceivable. If we were the chosen ones, then why would the Plates work for anyone else? And not just anyone else, but a group that was actively opposing us? It made no sense. If we were doing Arceus's will, then why would He allow other to use His power against His appointed servants? At first Ghetsis convinced me it was a test of our resolve, to see if we were able to overcome the very power we sought to tame…but I don't think so anymore. No, I am convinced that the reason you and your friends were given the power to wield the Plates…was to stop me from making a grievous mistake, and making me see the error of my ways. And in that, Ritchie, you have succeeded."

"…Then…what, you've seen the light or something?" Ritchie half-joked.

"Something like that, yes," Light of Justice said.

"That's…that's really good to hear, actually," Ritchie said, more relieved than he had expected to find himself. "I've grown to like you a lot in our time here. I wasn't looking forward to having to fight you once this stuff with the Nihilators is all over."

"I assure you, my friend, that will never be a problem now," Light of Justice said. "That does not mean, however, that Judgment itself will go away."

Ritchie stiffened. "What do you mean?"

"Judgment is too big an organization for me to simply dismantle. For one thing, Ghetsis and the other Sages would never allow it. For another, there are too many people invested in and depending on us, here in New Eden and elsewhere around the world. If I were to get rid of Judgment, they would all be cast adrift and left without any support," Light of Justice said. "So, instead, I will try and retool Judgment. Redirect its resources towards more Pokémonitarian efforts. No more delivering clandestine punishments to those we deem guilty or taking extreme and violent and _messy_ measures to rid evil from the world. Too many have been hurt doing that, both within and without our organization. It will not be easy, for most of our soldiers have been force-fed propaganda on the righteousness of our cause all their lives, but if I speak, they will listen and obey, no matter how reluctantly. Our march against the Nihilators shall be Judgment's final Crusade…which is part of why I must go in person, to show them how committed I am to changing Judgment's path and giving us a different future. That I will not be controlled or sit back and let others die for me anymore. That I will seize our future in both hands and drag us into it, even if I must pull the entire organization kicking and screaming behind me."

"That's a pretty bold move," Ritchie said, impressed. "Maybe even bolder than just trying to get rid of Judgment completely. You're going to face a _lot_ of opposition, though. Not just from Ghetsis and the Sages, but from some of your own supposedly loyal soldiers, because no matter how much they love you, they may not like being told that the way they've been expressing their faith all this time is wrong."

"I know it will not be easy, but it must be done, regardless of the risks," Light of Justice said. "I have already begun laying down the groundwork for the necessary changes to revamp Judgment into a kinder, friendlier organization truly dedicated to doing Arceus' work. Additionally, I have also started a plan that will, with any luck, remove Ghetsis and the Sages and those who would follow their brand of extremism from any position of power they might use against me."

"Well, that's good to hear," Ritchie said.

"However, there is one more thing I require…your help," Light of Justice said.

Ritchie blinked in surprise. "Me?!"

Light of Justice nodded. "Yes, you. For one thing, I trust you. I know you can be depended on to help your friends when they need you…and we _are_ friends now, aren't we Ritchie?"

Ritchie considered this for a moment. "Yeah…yeah, I guess we are," astonished to realize this…and that he was completely okay with it.

"For another thing, it will be easier to convince my followers of the rightness of this new path if I have the support of the bearers of all sixteen of the Plates and therefore the full backing of Arceus, or the appearance of it. I already have eight on my side…well, for the most part, I'm still working on making sure I have Pokémon I can absolutely trust wielding them…but if you could convince your group to back me as well, it'll make the transition that much smoother," Light of Justice said.

"…I'll have to talk to the others about that, but so long as this isn't part of some ploy to take the Plates for yourself, I think it'll work out," Ritchie said.

"Do you think this is a ploy, then?" Light of Justice asked. "If you doubt my sincerity, you may read my Aura. I am a skilled illusionist, but that is beyond my power to manipulate."

Ritchie considered this option for a moment, and then shook his head. "No, you're an illusionist, but you're no liar. If you say something, you mean it…which means I believe you when you say that you honestly want to do the right thing and make up for your mistakes. I'll convince the others to help."

"And finally," Light of Justice said. "I will need your protection. I am a skilled fighter, even more so with the power of the Dread Plate, but even with myself and my allies watching my back, I worry I will not be able to handle every trick Ghetsis might throw at me."

"So you want my team and I to back you up when you finally confront him?" Ritchie asked.

Light of Justice nodded. "If that is all right with you?"

Ritchie smirked. "No problem, I wouldn't mind smacking around that bastard a few times myself. Plus, you said yourself…I can always be depended on to help my friends when they need me…and you're my friend, Light. You can count on me."

A broad smile came to the Zoroark's face. "You don't know how happy it makes me to hear that, Ritchie. To be honest, I think you are the first genuine friend I've ever had aside from Anthea and Concordia. Everyone else, even those I trust most, still see me as an unapproachable messianic figure. You are probably the first Pokémon to treat me like an ordinary person…and for that, I am eternally grateful."

"Hey, no problem," Ritchie said. "However, if we're going to do this, then I'm going to need something from you."

"Your fiancé? Certainly. She will be restored shortly-" Light of Justice started.

Ritchie shook his head. "No, that's not it, you already promised you were going to do that. That's not what I want."

Light of Justice blinked in surprise. "It's…not? Then…what? The remaining Plates? I can't give you those now, and I'm not positive I can give them up later-"

"That's not it either, though it would be nice to have them all and make sure that nobody else—even you, sorry—might be tempted to abuse their powers again," Ritchie admitted. "Though since I trust you now, I _guess_ it might be okay to leave some with you…but no, what I want is something else."

"What, then?" Light of Justice asked, genuinely mystified.

Ritchie grinned. "Your name."

Light of Justice blinked. "My…what?"

"Your name. You can't honestly tell me 'Light of Justice' is your actual name, can you?" Ritchie asked. "Well, I guess it could be, but…I don't think so. If we're gonna be friends, I can't call you something as cumbersome as that all the time."

"You could call me 'Light' as a nickname," Light of Justice pointed out. "You've been doing that already."

"I could, and I might," Ritchie agreed. "But that's still not your name, is it? C'mon, fess up. What's your _real _name?"

"My real name…" Light of Justice murmured. "I haven't thought about that in so long. Not even Anthea or Concordia call me by it anymore. I think you're the first person to ever ask me what it is."

"Then let's hear it! What's your real name?" Ritchie asked.

Light of Justice nodded. "Very well. My real name is Natural Harmonia Gropius."

"…What," Ritchie said flatly.

"Natural Harmonia Gropius," Light of Justice repeated.

"…Wow," Ritchie said after a moment. "And I thought 'Light of Justice' was a mouthful. I'm just gonna call you 'N,' okay?"

The newly christened N smiled. "Very well, N will suffice, but only so long as you do it in private. It wouldn't look good for you to call me that in front of my followers. They might think you're disrespecting me, and they have reason enough to despise you already."

"Heh, sure thing…hey, are they gonna be okay with me working with you and spending so much time with you?" Ritchie asked.

"They will not have a choice in the matter," N said.

"Oh," Ritchie said. "Cool. So, um, what now?"

"Now, we return to the cathedral and have dinner. Our plans for the future can wait for now," N said.

Ritchie's stomach rumbled, and he laughed nervously when N chuckled. "My stomach agrees with you. All right, let's go. Oh, and one other thing…"

N frowned. "Yes?"

"…I want you to tell me about Marilyn's father. And everyone else who had a family here that I might have killed," Ritchie said seriously. "If…if I've really taken someone they cared about away from them…the least I can do is apologize, no matter what they were trying to do to me."

N looked at Ritchie appraisingly for a long moment, and then nodded. "Very well. If that is what you desire. The first time I met Marilyn's father was about a year ago when he walked into my office and asked to join Judgment. My forces had saved his town from some rather bad straits involving barbarian raiders and helped them resettle in New Eden, and he wanted to return the favor…"

As the two of them walked off, deep in conversation, they were unaware of a trio of Pokémon perched atop the Wall of Martyrs who had overheard the whole thing. The trio, an Absol, a Banette, and an Accelgor, exchanged looks. "Ghetsis will want to hear of this," the Absol said. The other two nodded.

"How tragic. It looks as if our King has lost his way," the Banette said.

"Let us see if he can be turned to the light once more," the Accelgor said.

The Shadow Triad dropped down from the wall and vanished, as ninjas do. Whether or not it was coincidence or intention that they landed on and smashed the bells Marilyn had left for her father would never be known for certain.

…

And…done!

And in only two months, too! Wow. That got done faster than I had hoped. Bet you're pleased about that, huh?

And how many of you saw that twist with Oblivion's Shadow coming? All of you? Yeah, I thought as much.

In any event, looks like this next arc has been kicked off in style. What awaits our heroes in the ruins of Treasure Town? Will Rayquaza be all right, and how will he escape the secret temple? Can Gardevoir truly fight Oblivion's Shadow, especially now that we know who he REALLY is? What awaits Team Nightshade in the Berry Kingdom? And what will come of the Shadow Triad's spying on Ritchie and the guy who was obviously N the whole time? Some of these questions will be answered next time…whenever that is. Hopefully in the near future.

Until then, thanks for reading!


	62. A spider's Start of Darkness

Okay, this started a bit later than I planned (mainly due to sheer laziness) but this chapter is ready to go. Hope you enjoy it. I know I did.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

There are many terms one could use to describe Treasure Town. A wretched hive of scum and villainy. The second-worst city on Earth. A pimple on the Ruler of Evil's ass-cheek. A festering, diseased wound on the surface of the world. The Abyss made manifest. Giratina's backyard cesspool. Home to the cheapest –and worst—calzones in the entire Omniverse (and, oddly enough, the best fajitas).

All these epithets were true, in a sense. But now, a new term could be used to describe it that was just as true: warzone. (Well, smoking crater counted too, I suppose.)

Sulfur, smoke, and the stench of burned bodies filled the air. Treasure Town had been completely destroyed, a massive smoking crater all that was left of one of the worst towns on Earth. Since the town was right on the edge of the water, the impact of the Nihilator missile and the subsequent shockwaves and excavation had blasted away a good chunk of the coast—including, sadly, Sharpedo Cape-and so the sea had surged back in to flood the newly created space around the base of the crater, water lapping around its front and sides. Great smoking fissures zigzagged away from the crater in every direction, and since seawater was pouring into some of them, great plumes of steam rose into the air, mingling with the massive cloud of smog and debris blotting out the sky. Brushfires and smaller craters created by ejecta from the impact dotted the broken landscape, and new pieces of debris periodically rained down from where it had been flung to the very edge of space by the impact.

The cavity of the crater went deep into the earth, deeper than most impact craters usually were. Bits and pieces of the ruins that had been buried under Treasure Town that had somehow managed to avoid being completely vaporized or ejected by the impact stuck out of the interior slopes here and there, exposed to the light of day for the first time in millennia (or they would have been, if there were any light to begin with). At the bottom of the crater lay the exposed ruins of the city built by the mysterious beings who had first settled here and discovered the Door countless ages ago…and the fact that they were, astonishingly, still for the most part intact despite the incredible destruction that had unearthed them for the first time in eons spoke wonders of the architects who had constructed them long, long ago. The ruins were not all that had been unearthed, however…the Door rose ominously from the plaza in the center of the ancient city, its malevolence drawing all focus to it, seeming to radiate an aura of malice and _glee _in the violence taking place around it, as skeletal pirates and ragged soldiers from various different militaries struggled against Nihilators and robot spiders swarming the city's streets.

Looming above the city, its great mass engulfing everything in the crater in its shadow (or rather, it would be in shadow if the exposed energy core on its underside wasn't bathing everything in a blood-red glow), was an Arachnoblast almost identical to the one the heroes had fought in the desert outside Fichina, save that its black hull was scorched in places from reentry and parts of its underside looked a little crumpled due to the impact with Treasure Town. In spite of this, it still seemed to be largely in one piece and fully functional as it stood above the ancient city, its eight legs stretched out to brace itself on the crater's rim, squatting over the ruins and the Door beneath it. A few dozen fighter ships and flying Pokémon swarmed around the fearsome mechanical monster, ineffectually firing at the Arachnoblast's hull and bobbing command center. The retaliatory fire from the walking fortress, on the other hand, was far from ineffectual, and the numbers of fighters seemed to be dropping by the minute, smoking wreckage and bodies—or what was left of them—lying around the crater slopes and surrounding land.

The _Peeko XII_ was not one of them. Her gleaming golden hull a beacon of hope and light in this dark hour, the magnificent Pokélantean vessel cut through the air, firing again and again at the Arachnoblast from its broadside cannons and various other weapons. The weapons actually seemed to leave lasting marks on the Arachnoblast, blasting out chunks of its hull and scoring away some of its armor…only for spider robots to crawl out of hatches on the monstrosity's hide and start effecting repairs moments later. But hey, it was a start, right?

As the beleaguered forces fighting for their lives looked on in awe, the _Peeko_ fired her anchors at the Arachnoblast, the chained hooks shooting through the air and wrapping themselves around two of the giant's legs. "Cap'n-" Iron Gut Caruso started speaking from his place in the _Peeko's_ command cabin.

"That's _Acting_ Cap'n, Caruso," Barbedo corrected from the ship's helm. "Just because Briney's not here doesn't mean he's not still our Cap'n!"

"Right, sorry sir. Force of habit," Caruso apologized.

"See that you don't do it again. What were you saying?" Barbedo asked.

"We've got a good grip on that beastie's legs, Acting Cap'n," Caruso said. "But if we're going to do something with it, we might want to do it soon; our shields are taking a bit of a beating."

"Bah, let 'em, we can handle more than that! But as for that thing's legs…" Barbedo leaned back in his very comfortable chair and grinned. "All engines, full reverse! Let's see if we can yank this thing from its perch!"

With a magnificent flare of light from the fans on the sides, the _Peeko_ thrusted backwards, the anchor chains going taut as they pulled on the Arachnoblast's legs with all their might. Despite the fact that the monstrous machine was much, much, _much_ larger than the _Peeko_, the power of the ancient Pokélantean warship's engines showed themselves, and the legs it had anchored itself to started sliding slowly away from the rim of the crater, tearing up the earth in their wake.

Whoever was in control of the Arachnoblast noticed this, however, and would have none of it. The machine's head swiveled around to face the _Peeko_, roared ferociously, and opened its mouth, energy coalescing in its wave motion cannon. "Acting Cap'n, it's charging up a really nasty weapon!" Hooklimb Harriet, a Pinsir with hooks for hands and feet and pincers, reported in alarm, glancing at her instruments. "I'm not sure our shields can handle it!"

"Not our _regular_ shields, you mean," Barbedo said with a smirk. "Power up the reflector shield!"

With a hum, the air around the _Peeko _rippled and formed into a perfectly reflective sphere. At that instant, the Arachnoblast fired its wave motion cannon. The incredibly powerful stream of destruction sliced through the air, struck the reflective surface…and rebounded, smashing right back into the arachnid's face with a terrific explosion that sent the head reeling backwards, stretching its lengthy neck to the limit as it was flung back its back and smashed into the hull on the other side.

The pirates on the bridge cheered and whooped in excitement. "Yarhar, that'll show 'em!" Barbedo chortled.

Unfortunately, their celebration of victory was a bit premature. "Acting Cap'n, that last blast overloaded the reflector shields. It's gonna take a lot longer than usual for 'em to recharge," a human pirate named Bloodnose Bill (because he'd constantly suffered from nosebleeds in life) reported in concern.

"Bah, nothing to worry about, lads. I doubt that thing'll be in any shape to fire another blast like that anytime soon," Barbedo said unconcernedly.

Naturally, it was at that moment that the Arachnoblast's head shot back up and lunged towards them, roaring at the top of its mechanical lungs and showing very few signs of being damaged by its own weapon. The pirates screamed and frantically started bombarding it with their heavy weaponry while Barbedo grimaced. "Perhaps I spoke too soon."

Shrieking, the Arachnoblast opened its mouth again and started charging its wave motion cannon once more. "Acting Cap'n, we have to disengage! The reflector shields aren't ready!" Bill said anxiously.

Caruso nodded. "We're sitting Duckletts as we are now, Acting Cap'n! We have to move!"

"Belay that! We aren't goin' anywhere!" Barbedo barked.

"But Acting Cap'n-" Caruso protested.

"Don't 'but' me, Caruso! I've got this under control!" Barbedo said, slipping his hands into the metal gloves wired to his control panel. Instantly, a pair of giant holographic hands materialized outside of the ship. Barbedo thrust his gloved hands forward, and the holograms mimicked his motions, grabbing onto the Arachnoblast's jaws and slamming them shut. "Let's see you shake off your weapon exploding inside your own mouth, beast!" Immediately, the power the Arachnoblast had been gathering dissipated as whoever was in charge wisely shut the cannon down before it could explode. "…Or not."

"Uh, Acting Cap'n, we might not have a choice about disengaging," Bill said.

Barbedo groaned. "Oh, what now?"

"They've sent little robot spiders out to chew on the anchor chains," Harriet said.

"Electrify the chains and knock 'em off, then!" Barbedo said.

"We are. They seem to be insulated," Harriet said.

"Ah. Of course they are," Barbedo said, almost facepalming but remembering at the last minute that his hands were the only things keeping the Arachnoblast from firing its wave motion cannon. "Well then…fire the main cannon! Let's see if _that'll_ leave a mark on this thing!"

The bowsprit of the _Peeko XII_ split open, revealing her rail gun. The cannon glowed as it started powering up, pointing right at the great black sphere making up the Arachnoblast's central body.

Unfortunately, as it turned out, the wave motion cannon wasn't the _only_ superweapon the Arachnoblast had installed. The fiendish-looking apparatus in the Arachnoblast's underside began powering up, red light emanating from the clusters of antenna and barbs and spires surrounding the massive energy core, its luminance increasing as arcs of power crackled between the tips of the metal projections and danced across the surface of the core.

"Uh, Acting Cap'n…" Caruso said.

"I _see_ it, all right?!" Barbedo snapped. "Bill, are the reflectors fixed yet?"

The undead human looked at his control panel. "No."

"Bollocks. Can we withstand a hit from something like that?" Barbedo asked.

"…I _think_ so, but I don't believe we'll be good for much else after that," Caruso said nervously. "We'll be dead in the water. Er, air. Er, ground, actually, because I don't think we'll be flying afterwards."

"Figures. Wait, that thing's giving off a shitload of energy, and it looks important. Can't we target it?" Barbedo asked, getting an idea.

"I believe we can, sir," Harriet said.

"Then what're ye lubbers waiting for?! FIRE!" Barbedo shouted.

They fired, launching the rail gun and pretty much every other weapon they had at the energy core, the ship's targeting systems locking onto the volatile device and curving the trajectory of its myriad artillery at the exposed core. The Arachnoblast instantly countered, firing hundreds of lasers and missiles of its own to intercept the _Peeko's_ volley. At least two-thirds of the _Peeko's_ barrage was destroyed by the monstrous machine's counter-offensive, but a sizable amount still pierced their defenses, streaked towards the core…

And smashed into a force field. To their credit, the shield broke under the strength of the _Peeko's_ guns, but the core was still unharmed, and what's worse, it was about to fire, and they didn't have enough time left to reload and try again. Barbedo said words a lot worse than 'bollocks' this time. "Release the anchors! Evasive maneuvers!" Caruso screamed.

"Belay that!" Barbedo shouted.

"What?! But Acting Cap'n, if we don't get out of the way-" Caruso protested.

"I said _belay that_. We aren't moving! We never run from a fight!" Barbedo bellowed.

"And besides, even if we tried to dodge, they've got a lock on us, we can't escape that thing," Bill said.

"Oh," Caruso said.

"Fortunately, we don't need to, since I, your Acting Cap'n, have a marvelous idea!" Barbedo bragged.

"And that would be…?" Bill asked.

"Just wait and see! I'm about to be _brilliant!_" Barbedo said, flexing his fingers and tightening the grip his projected hands had on the Arachnoblast's mouth.

The Arachnoblast's secondary superweapon fired, launching a massive energy ball of crackling crimson death from its core. The sphere of doom shot downwards at first, arcs of energy lancing off from its surface and vaporizing some of the Pokémon fighting in the ancient city below, then curved upwards towards the crater's rim, homing in on the _Peeko XII_. It shot upwards diagonally, passing between the two legs the ship's anchors were wrapped around and obliterating the crater rim between them as it flew unstoppably towards its prey…

Until Barbedo, with a twist of his hands, caused his projections to wrench the Arachnoblast's head downward so that it would intercept the blast.

The resulting explosion was at least half as strong as the one that had reduced Treasure Town to a crater. At least a fifth of the crater's entire mass simply disappeared, and the Arachnoblast would have been scrambling forwards for better footing if the explosion that had also completely destroyed its head and virtually dismembered two of its legs hadn't sent it stumbling backwards, desperately struggling not to topple over, its remaining limbs leaving deep gouges in the sides of the crater as they slipped and skidded and tried to stabilize themselves. The _Peeko's_ anchor chains were, of course, shattered, and the ship herself was sent flying back, tumbling end over end, while lots of red lights and sirens blared throughout the vessel and the pirates were flung from floor to wall to ceiling and back again and it was only with some quick thinking and desperate seamanship that they were able to get the ship back under control before it could crash.

As red lights flashed throughout the control room and crewmembers desperately tried to put out some of the fires that had started when their consoles exploded, Barbedo laughed and laughed and laughed. "Yarharharharhar! Even in this day and age, there's no ship or monster on land, sea, or sky that can withstand the might of my _Golden Dream!"_

"You mean Briney's _Peeko XII,_" Harriet said woozily as she put one of her hook antlers back in place.

Barbedo paused. "…Right. That."

"Acting Cap'n, I'm getting damage reports from all over the ship. We…aren't in good shape," Caruso said. "In fact, I can't remember the last time we've been in a condition this bad. Self-repair systems are already trying to fix the damage, but it's going to take a while."

"Can we still fly?" Barbedo asked.

"The fact that we haven't crashed yet would seem to indicate that, so yes," Caruso said.

"Are our weapons and shields still working?" Barbedo asked.

"Yes, but in a very limited capacity," Caruso said. He smirked. "It'd take a lot more than that to put us out of commission."

"Those ancient Pokélanteans sure knew their stuff," Bill said, impressed.

"Then why ain't they around no more?" Harriet asked.

"'Cuz their idiot king went and pissed off Ho-Oh," Bill reminded her.

"Psh. Dumbass," Harriet said. "'Course, if _we'd_ been there, it'd have been an entirely different story!"

"And then we could've plundered the riches of Pokélantis for ourselves…" Caruso said wistfully. "'Tis a shame this thing doesn't have a time drive along with the warp drive."

"Mayhaps that Leo bloke can rig something up?" Harriet suggested. "He seems pretty smart."

"Would the Cap'n allow it, though?" Bill asked doubtfully. "He don't want us plunderin' no more."

"That's something we can work out with him later. Right now, we've got a giant robot spider to fight!" Barbedo said. "If we can still fly, and our weapons and shields still work, then we can still fight! Let's get back in there!" Barbedo bellowed.

"Aye-aye, Acting Cap'n!" Pirates all over the ship hollered. While they were still a bit nauseous from the rather violent tumble, the serious injury they'd dealt their foe had gotten their metaphorical blood boiling, and they were ready to get back in there and show the Nihilators not to mess with pirates.

"Hope you've got a plan, Acting Cap'n, we can't do much more in this shape," Caruso said as they set a course back towards the Arachnoblast, their flight rather wobbly due to one of the engine fans being damaged.

"And I think we might have actually gotten off worse than that thing did, proportionally speaking," Bill said. The other pirates looked at him. "What?"

"That's an awfully big word for a pirate to use. And you actually know what it means?" Harriet asked, impressed.

"Word a day calendar," Bill explained. "And it means 'to a proportionate degree.'" The others nodded and pretended they knew what 'proportionate' meant.

"Heh, bad shape? Please! I have them right where I want them!" Barbedo gloated, noticing how the Arachnoblast had managed to regain its footing…but it was no longer positioned directly over the ancient city, and the ends of several of its legs were now much closer to the water. He pushed a button.

Instantly, Polly surged out of the water with a piercing wail and clamped his claws around the Arachnoblast leg closest to the water, pulling on it with all his might and yanking the Arachnoblast off-balance once again. The giant spider reared back, legs flailing as it tried to regain its footing…

And in doing so, exposed its core. "Now it's time to show them why it's stupid to put something like that where everyone can see and shoot at!" Barbedo boasted. "Open fire!"

The _Peeko_ fired at the energy core with everything she had left, while the other fighters, who hadn't been able to do much else but watch while the pirate ship had struggled with the Arachnoblast, saw their opening as well and launched whatever meager artillery they had to offer at the core. Like before, the attacks impacted against a force field…but also like before, the attacks managed to break the force field—especially since it was weak already due to the damage the walking fortress had just receieved-and while the Arachnoblast was trying to recuperate, the fighters reloaded and fired again.

The resulting explosion was about as powerful as the last one, and another fifth of the crater wall was vaporized, as were a few ships and Pokémon who had been flying too close to the Arachnoblast when the core blew. Red smoke and flames roaring from the gaping hole in its underside, the Arachnoblast toppled backwards into the water, Polly quickly diving out of the way just before the thing could crash down. It was too big to simply sink into the bay—the seafloor wasn't deep enough, even with the tectonic upheaval that had been caused by the meteoric impact that had wiped out Treasure Town-but the water displaced from its crash still went all over the place in a massive tidal wave, flooding the plains surrounding the crater. A little of it even poured into the crater and drenched or swept away some of the Pokémon fighting in the ancient city. The waters receded as quickly as they came, however, leaving poor Polly, who had been swept along with the tide, flopping around helplessly on the land like a Magikarp out of water. (Or a Magikarp _in_ water, for that matter.)

The rousing victory cheer from the pirates shook the _Peeko XII_. "Gyarharharhar! We did it, lads!" Barbedo whooped. "This is what happens to all who dare challenge the King of the Pirates!"

"Isn't Briney King of the Pirates now, since he's the Cap'n?" Harriet asked.

"…No," Barbedo said after a moment's thought.

"Uh, Acting Cap'n?" Bill asked in concern.

"Aye, what is it, Bloodnose?" Barbedo asked.

"If we've won, why am I picking up a power spike from that thing's corpse?" Bill asked.

Barbedo thought about this for a moment. He facepalmed. "Aw, hell."

"Acting Cap'n?" Caruso asked.

Barbedo sighed. "Either that thing's about to blow…or the fight ain't over yet."

Unfortunately, the latter turned out to be the case. The partially submerged Arachnoblast's battered form started shaking. Red lines ran up the sides of what was left of the black sphere, the remaining six legs twitching and creaking. There was a hiss as clouds of steam vented from the lines as the sphere split open like a sliced Aguav berry, revealing a second sphere, half the size of the one that had been constructed around it but in arguably better shape. The six remaining legs from the Arachnoblast's initial form were attached to its sides. The sphere levitated into the air as a number of red lights and sensors flickered to life around it. Spiked protuberances sprouted from its sides, and from some of these protuberances extremely long rods extended outwards. These rods bent several times, doubling and folding back on themselves in some places, before their ends finally touched the seafloor, creating eight very long and very skinny legs. So, basically it looked exactly like the original Arachnoblast had after the Scorponok fought it, only with more legs.

"You know, I'm _really_ starting to hate spiders," Bill complained.

"Ahem," Bandy-legged Jimenez, a Galvantula with…bandy legs, as the name implied, said.

"I've never liked you," Bill said. Jimenez, who'd secretly been harboring a crush on Bill for years that absolutely everyone had known about, gasped, burst into tears, and scurried out of the room.

"Hmm…this might not be as bad as it looks," Caruso murmured as he checked the readings on his instruments. "That thing's a lot more maneuverable now, but it's also shed a lot of armor, so it should be more vulnerable."

"Great! Open fire!" Barbedo commanded.

The _Peeko_ targeted the smaller Arachnoblast as it stalked through the water towards them on its many legs, preparing to fire…

When suddenly, hatches opened up on virtually every square inch of space on the surface of the Arachnoblast's central sphere, revealing thousands of weapons ports bristling with laser cannons, blasters, missile launchers, and all sorts of other experimental weapons that didn't have formal names that were under ten syllables. The weapons powered up, causing the black sphere to turn a vibrant red, and then rockets and energy blasts fired out in every direction, millions of crimson streams streaking out towards the few remaining fighters.

"Oh, SHIT," Harriet swore.

"You know, I'm actually starting to think evasive maneuvers might be a good idea right about now," Barbedo said weakly.

"Not so fast, Acting Cap'n…because _I_ have a plan for a change!" Caruso said, eyes lighting up as something flashed on his console.

Barbedo raised an eyebrow. "And that would be?"

Caruso grinned and pushed a button. "The reflector shields are recharged."

While the Arachnoblast's projectiles went in all directions, most of them homed in on the _Peeko XII._ This turned out to be a terrible idea, because just before they could hit the golden ship, she was engulfed in a reflective bubble that deflected all the beams and missiles and bursts and other attacks, causing them to fly back towards the Arachnoblast…

Only for them to run into an energy field that abruptly raised around the spider robot's body, causing them to freeze in place. As it turned out, Tarantulas had taken his last mecha's defeat by Leo to heart, and installed repulsor generators into this model after seeing how effective they had been the last time. With a pulse, the repulsor field flung the artillery away from the mechanized fortress, sending it flying in all directions. Thankfully, it didn't home in explicitly on the _Peeko_, but there was an awful lot of it heading in the pirate vessel's direction…and their reflector shield wasn't going to be ready to deflect it again anytime soon.

"Fuck," Bill said dazedly as he stared at the oncoming fusillade in horror.

"Shields to maximum! Fire everything we've got! Evasive maneuvers, NOW!" Barbedo shouted, slipping his hands into his gloves once again.

The air around the _Peeko _flickered as the shields raised and the ship started ducking and weaving, trying to dodge as many of the incoming—thankfully unguided—missiles and beams and other things as possible while firing all their available weapons at full blast and using Barbedo's big holographic hands to try and take out as many of the enemy attacks as possible before they could make contact with them. Despite their best efforts, however, their shields took hit after hit, and as strong as they were, there was only so much they could take, and with a shattering noise the protective field dissipated, the shield generators overloading and exploding, forcing the crew to grab extinguishers and try to put out the flames before they could get out of control. With the shields down, there was nothing to protect the _Peeko_ from the Arachnoblast's weaponry, and explosions wracked the ship as they took heavy damage. The sails were torn to shreds, the Murkrow's nest was destroyed, the mizzenmast was snapped off and sent spiraling away, the bowsprit was broken, the face of the figurehead imploded, the beautiful golden hull was scored and horribly marred and even torn open in places, several of the cannon ports exploded, some of the oars were broken off, one of the engine fans was shattered, and the roof of the bridge was in danger of caving in, especially after one of the cannons mounted on top of it exploded. Flames and smoke spurting all over the vessel's form, the wounded _Peeko_ tilted to the side and started descending, klaxons blaring and red lights flashing throughout the ship as the panicking pirates desperately tried to get their ship back under control and Barbedo tried to get his _crew_ back under control.

A couple of pirates, believing they were doomed, ran for the lifeboats, and jettisoned themselves from the ship in gilded capsule-like flying skiffs before they could crash. They didn't get very far, as the Arachnoblast casually blasted them out of the air in seconds. The pirates inside would be fine, of course…as soon as their bones, scattered for miles around, could pull themselves together, that was.

Fortunately, that was not to be the fate of the pirates still on board the doomed ship. Before it could hit the ground, Polly, seeing his master was in danger, scurried across the shattered landscape and caught the _Peeko_ in his massive pincers before it could crash. The flames and leaking chemicals from the wrecked ship blackened and ate away at his exoskeleton, but he didn't care, so long as his beloved Cap'n—or Acting Cap'n—was all right, nothing else mattered. As the giant undead Crawdaunt peered into the bridge in concern, Barbedo, surrounded by flames and debris and panicking shipmates, laughed weakly. "That'll do, Polly. That'll do." He rose to his feet, casually tossing a piece of flaming debris bigger than he was that had been pinning him in his seat aside with ease. "Mr. Caruso! Damage report!"

Caruso looked at his instruments. What few lights still worked were very, very red. Everything else was on fire. "Very, very bad, sir."

"I can see that," Barbedo said drily.

Caruso shook his head unhappily. "We're completely dead, Acting Cap'n. It'll take the self-repair systems AGES to fix this…assuming they can. We need a drydock, and fast."

"I don't believe one is available at the moment, Mr. Caruso," Barbedo said solemnly.

"No, Acting Cap'n," Caruso said.

Barbedo sighed. "And I'm guessing we can't fly or shoot, or do much of anything else."

"No, Acting Cap'n," Bill said.

"Huh." Barbedo took off his hat and scratched his bald skull. "So _this_ is what it's like to lose a ship-to-ship battle. I don't like it. I don't like it at all."

"The losers of ship-to-ship battles generally don't, Acting Cap'n," Harriet said sadly.

"I suppose they do at that. Almost makes me feel sorry for all the ships we've sunk over the years…but not that much," Barbedo said with a scowl. "Well, I suppose there's nothing to it, then. Give the order to abandon ship."

"Acting Cap'n?!" Caruso asked in astonishment. He never thought he would hear his leader _ever_ say anything like that. The very concept of giving up their precious ship, that they had won so many battles in and had been their home for so many years, was anathema. His mind boggled at the very concept, let alone hearing _Barbedo_ of all people give the order to evacuate.

"Don't worry, Caruso, we're not giving up the _Peeko._ Briney'd probably find a way to kill us if we did," Barbedo said, much to Caruso's relief. "But we're of little use in here, so we're going to have Polly put the old girl down a safe distance away, get on me best mate's back, and charge back into battle! Polly's scuppered countless ships and slain all sorts of beasties over the years, he'll serve as good a substitute for the _Peeko_ as any we can find until we can get the ship fixed!"

"Aye-aye, Acting Cap'n!" Caruso said ecstatically, relieved to hear they weren't out of the fight yet. While he wasn't sure they could actually win, he'd still follow Barbedo into the very depths of the Abyss if that's where their course led them, just as any of the crew would. He'd been worried for a second there the Acting Cap'n might actually be thinking of qutting, but that was preposterous. Barbedo the Pirate King _never_ gave up.

As Polly scurried away to place the badly wrecked _Peeko_ a safe distance away, the Arachnoblast, no longer deigning to pay attention to the pirates, strode out of the sea and climbed back up the slope of the crater, resuming its perch on the rim, or what was left of it, casting its shadow over the partially flooded ruins underneath once more. (Only for real this time, since there wasn't any exposed core to glow ominously.) As the few remaining fighters and flyers looked on in dismay, wondering what more they could do, the mechanical monster roared, drinking in its triumph over those who dared to challenge it.

…

"My ship…my _Peeko_…" Briney whispered in horror, shedding a tear as he watched Polly somberly carry his ship away. "Those bastards…have I lost _another_ ship to them?!"

"Does this mean we'll need to find a _Peeko XIII_?" Lily asked.

"But I _liked_ the _Peeko XII._ It could fly, and dig, and go underwater, and teleport!" Tiny said.

"Which we needed to get to Mars. How are we going to take down the Nihilators with the ship in that bad a shape?" Pikachu asked in concern.

"Don't worry," Briney said, wiping away his tears and turning back to them. "My hammer can fix the ol' girl up in just a few swings. Make her better than before, too. We aren't out of the running just yet. One way or another, we're still taking her to Mars!"

"But first, we have to stop Tarantulas…" Leo said darkly.

"And deal with that abomination," Lugia snarled, glaring at the Arachnoblast, sitting pretty up on the crater.

Team Aurabolt, Lugia, Princess Boa, Nuken, and Victini had arrived only moments ago, just in time to witness the Arachnoblast knock the _Peeko_ out of the air. Seeing the magnificent vessel fall was very shocking. Not only was it their best and only chance of getting to Mars, they had all thought it would put up a stronger fight against the Arachnoblast than that. Granted, it had done more damage all by itself in a shorter time than everything else they and Judgment had thrown at the last Arachnoblast, but they still hadn't imagined it would get _this_ badly wrecked. Had the Nihilators gotten this much stronger already? If so, they were going to really need to be on their best game when the time came to go to Mars.

"This is the power of the Nihilators?" Boa whispered, staring at the wasteland around them in horror. "It's…far worse than I had ever imagined…"

"…Those flyers…far too few of them are Dragons…" Nuken murmured. "How…how many of my mons were killed when that abomination landed?"

"And how many of mine?" Victini asked sorrowfully.

"And here I thought Treasure Town couldn't look any worse…" Leo muttered with a shake of his head.

"Still not as bad as Genocide City," Lily said from experience.

"How…how could they?" Tiny whispered. "How could they _do_ this?"

_Because they are evil,_ Dawn said solemnly.

"An evil that knows no bounds or limitations," Lugia said.

"What…what kind of answer is that?!" Tiny demanded, shaking with fury.

"The only one you'll get, I'm afraid_,"_ Lugia said sadly.

"They'll pay for this," Pikachu said, clutching his sword's hilt. "I swear it."

"Yes," Briney agreed, not taking his eyes off his ruined ship. "They will."

Ash had clenched his fists and gritted his teeth. His Aura was flickering around him, but so far it wasn't black or anywhere close to there. Yet. "Are you angry?" Misty asked him, not seeming…quite as hostile as she usually was for some reason.

"Yes," he snarled.

"Good. You should be," Misty said curtly.

"Why, because it means I'm that much closer to snapping and destroying the world?" he asked.

"No…" Misty said. "Because what happened here was an atrocity, and it needs to be avenged."

Ash gave her a surprised look. "I never thought I'd hear you say something like that."

"Neither did I," Misty admitted. "But while I hate you, I hate the Nihilators too. And to be honest, if the world's going to be destroyed, I'd rather you be the one to do it rather than them."

"…Thanks. I think," Ash said.

"Don't mention it. Seriously. Ever," she grumbled.

"Leo! Everyone! _There_ you are!" a familiar voice shouted.

They whirled around to see a very battered and bruised Tracey stumbling towards them. Accompanying him were Fat Pete with Molly on his shoulder and an equally battered Druddigon wearing Draconian colors. "Tracey! My mon!" Leo cried excitedly, running over and hugging the Smeargle, who collapsed in his arms. "Dude, we were so worried about you! You don't know how happy we are to see you okay!"

"You don't know how happy I am to see _you!_ Shit's gotten real, mon! You gotta do something to stop these guys and save the Professor!" Tracey said.

"Don't worry, we'll get him back. We promise," Lily said, floating over.

Tracey did a double-take. "Lily?! Is that you?! Holy crap, you look even better in person now than you did on TV! You could even give my girlfriend a run for her money!"

"Your online girlfriend you've never met in person, you mean?" Leo asked skeptically while Lily blushed.

"Hey, she's totally real, and totally hot!" Tracey insisted.

"Uh-huh, sure she is, we believe you," Leo said, with a face that clearly implied he didn't. At all. Tracey scowled.

"General Shinobu! Sir!" the Druddigon said, wearily saluting. He did a double-take, and then saluted Lily as well. "Oh, and, uh, Lady Shinobu. Or is it Yukihimi?"

"Yukihimi," Lily said.

"Right, sorry, wasn't sure. Anyway! General! You have no idea how relieved I am to see you here, sir! We'd almost given up all hope that help was coming! We were worried that those bastards had flung machines like that all over the world as part of some massive invasion!" the Druddigon said.

"Thankfully, that's not the case, soldier. Treasure Town is the only place that's been hit, and reinforcements are already on their way," Nuken said, much to the soldier's relief. "I'm here to do what I can until more help arrives. Where is your commanding officer?"

"Um…right in front of me, sir," the Druddigon said.

Nuken sighed. "No, I mean, who's your direct superior here?"

"…You, sir," the Druddigon said in confusion.

Nuken snarled, losing his patience. "Are you trying to play games with me?!"

"N-no, sir! It's just…" the Druddigon stammered.

"Just WHAT?" Nuken shouted. "Where are your commanders?!"

"They're all DEAD, sir!" the Druddigon wailed.

Nuken froze. "What?"

"When that thing fell out of the sky, all the officers and bigwigs of the joint armies were in town strategizing while us grunts were out in the field doing training exercises," the Druddigon said miserably. "So when it hit…"

"They all died…" Nuken whispered in horror.

"Yes! Well, most of them. But I'm pretty sure the ones who survived the crash are dead now. I mean, what with all our failed attacks against that monster and all," the Druddigon said, nodding at the Arachnoblast and the few Dragons and other fighters buzzing it ineffectually. "So far as I know, us rank-and-file cannon fodder are just about all that's left."

"…I…I see," Nuken whispered, face ashen. "I…had feared as much, but I had hoped…"

"With all due respect, sir…if you're looking for hope, you're not going to find any here," the Druddigon said bitterly.

"What about Fichina? Are any of our soldiers still alive?" Victini asked urgently.

"…I guess?" the Druddigon asked uncertainly. "I mean, I'm pretty sure most of your officers were killed in the crash, too. Things have been so chaotic, though, I have no idea who's alive and who's not, and which army any of us belong to anymore. All that matters is fighting those bastards…a fight we're losing."

"Then…my friends…" Boa whispered, bowing her head.

"…I _think_ there mighta been some guys from Fichina still fighting in the ruins…" the Druddigon said doubtfully. "I don't know if they're still alive, though. I woulda stayed and helped out, but the grad student here said we needed to get out here to meet you all, and I was volunteered to come and give my report to the General and anyone else you might have brought with you."

"You have done well, soldier, in spite of extenuating circumstances. When this is all over, I'll see to it that you and all the other survivors will be rewarded for your service," Nuken said.

"Thank you, sir, but…to be frank, right now I'm more concerned with actually living to see the end of this awful day than thinking about what I'll get afterwards," the Druddigon said wearily.

Nuken nodded. "A good attitude to have right about now. I'll do my best to make sure you'll make it out of this in one piece."

"Me too! Now that I'm here, we're definitely going to win. Goddess of Victory and all that," Victini promised.

"I hope so, because right now things seem pretty bleak…" the Druddigon said.

Victini winced as she looked at the shattered landscape and fires and burning ships. "Yeah…they kind of do, don't they?"

"Captain! Thank goodness you're here! Oh, and everyone else, too," Fat Pete said in relief to Briney, acknowledging the rest of the team with a brief nod. He frowned and did a double-take. "Er…that _is_ you, isn't it, Cap'n? You look a bit different…and so does Lily…she's a lot prettier, for one thing…"

Lily blushed, though partly out of embarrassment and unease. Why did people keep _saying_ that? It made her feel self-conscious, especially about how she used to look. "Thank you."

"Hey, are you saying my wife/daughter wasn't pretty before?!" Leo and Nuken demanded at the same time, causing them to do a double-take at having the same thought.

Before Fat Pete could be forced to answer that loaded and potentially lethal question, Molly whacked her husband with a wing. "Of course it's him, ya idjit! Who else but the Cap'n would have a mustache like that?"

"Oh, aye, that _is_ a fine mustache…could only be the Cap'n's…" Pete agreed. "Sorry, sir. Shoulda known it was you right away. There's no mistakin' that facial hair, after all."

"Pete. Molly. What are you two doing out here and not on the ship with the others?" Briney asked, cutting right to the chase.

"When that bloody thing came falling out of the sky, it caught all of us pretty short-handed," Pete said regretfully. "I mean, how were we supposed to expect something like _that_ to happen?"

"Some of us—including yours truly-were down in the ruins helpin' the Perfessor and Tracey sift through all that archaeological junk and seein' if there was any loot to plunder," Molly said. "While the rest were doin' some work on the ship out at sea, where all those pryin' researchers and military intelligence spooks couldn't spy on 'em and try to figure out how it works so they can make their own. We don't want any vessels like ours sailing the seas and skies, no sir, then we'd lose our primary advantage against the ships of this modern age and might actually run into serious competition! When that thing crashed down and ripped open the ceiling and started rainin' Nihilators on us, it was all we could do to fight them while the rest of us on the surface got on the _Peeko_ and went up to fight that damn thing!"

"Ye can see how that wound up, though…" Pete said sadly, looking off in Polly's direction. "Poor _Peeko…_I've never seen the ol' girl in that bad a shape. Breaks me heart, it does."

"I'll fix it up when I get the chance, I promise," Briney said, sharing his crewman's sorrow.

"If you were all underground when the Arachnoblast fell out of the sky, how were you not crushed when it ripped the earth open?" Pikachu asked.

"The ruins generate some kind of protective energy field we still don't quite understand, which is why they've been in such good condition even after all these years. Well, that and whatever building materials and techniques the ancients used to begin with, which we still haven't even _begun_ to comprehend," Tracey explained. "It kept the ceiling from caving in on us when the shockwave from that monster's landing completely destroyed everything above us. A shame, though…so much of archaeological value was lost…"

"It also didn't keep the Nihilators out," Pete said angrily.

"We fought 'em as best we could when they started droppin' out of that thing's belly, but when they came for the Perfessor, there was nuttin' we could do," Molly said sadly. "They had blasted Legendary Pokémon on their side. We may be undead, but there's only so much we can do against those!"

"If the Cap'n or Acting Cap'n had been there, things'd have been different!" Pete said firmly.

"You bet they would have," Briney said, deeply angry and upset that he hadn't been there to help his crew when they needed him.

"I'm amazed they didn't kill you," Leo said, hugging Tracey again, relieved he was still alive.

"They almost did!" Tracey said. "When the Nihilators started coming for us, the Professor figured at once they needed him to help them activate that tower under the Door, so we started making our way to one of the secret exits out of the ruins we've recently discovered. It was still in one piece since it was made the same way as the ruins were, and it's how we got out here to meet with you."

"We were kicking ass and taking names, too!" Fat Pete said proudly.

"And the Perfessor was doing a damn fine job keepin' up with the rest of us. And here I thought he was just a cushy academic!" Molly said.

"But then Tarantulas showed up, with Chobin, and that fat Emboar guy, and the legendary beasts, and Paul!" Tracey said.

Dawn stiffened. _Did you say…Paul?! Are you certain?_

"Pure evil Weavile with Shadow Aura, looked exactly like the guy I've seen going by that name in televised underground tournaments and wrestling matches, responded to the name Paul? Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was him," Tracey said. "The golden armor was new, though."

"Golden armor?" Pikachu asked.

"Yeah, he was wearing a suit of golden armor. The Professor seemed to recognize it for some reason and seemed pretty alarmed by it. Don't know why, though," Tracey said. He frowned. "It looked kind of familiar to me, too, but…I can't quite place where I've seen it before. And I don't think it's just because it made him look like the Slicer, either. There was something…_else_ about it…"

"You didn't mention Paul was here on the phone!" Leo said in alarm.

"I didn't? Oh, sorry, I must have forgot thanks to the stress of ALMOST DYING, getting a freaking METEOR dropped on my head, almost dying, watching people get KILLED all around me, almost dying, being held hostage, and did I mention I almost DIED?!" Tracey shouted, eyes bloodshot and trembling.

"Ah. Right," Leo said, cringing. "Sorry."

_If Paul is here…then I shall kill him, at long last,_ Dawn said coldly, narrowing her eyes.

"And I'll help. I promised, after all," Pikachu said.

Dawn smiled at her master. _Thank you, Master. I do not expect him to last too long, though; against my new power… _She frowned. _Though I wonder what this 'golden armor' is…_

"Golden armor…golden armor…why does that sound familiar to me, too?" Leo murmured.

"Well, looks like Tracey's suffering from PTSD, something that will take years of therapy to cure…or I could just Mind Crush it out of him," Briney suggested as the wild-eyed Smeargle shook and whimpered.

"No," Pikachu said.

"Fiddlesticks," Briney said.

"Remind me why you can't just Mind Crush Daddy's problems?" Tiny asked.

"Kid, Ash has so many issues I don't even know where to _begin_ to start fixing him. I'd rather keep my claws out of the mess he calls a head, it's safer that way," Briney said.

"That doesn't stop you from reading my mind," Ash said.

"That's just skimming the upper levels rather than delving deep to the root of your problems. Totally different," Briney said. Ash rolled his eyes.

"It wouldn't work, anyway. Considering all the other psychiatrists who've gone mad trying to help you, do you really think Briney would do any better?" Misty asked.

"He's Briney," Ash pointed out.

"…Okay, yeah, but still. No way he could do it," Misty said.

"What was that about being held hostage?" Boa asked.

"The Perfessor was actually doin' a good job holdin' his own, until that Ekans in the grass Paul got his claws on Tracey and threatened to gut 'im like a Magikarp if he didn't surrender," Pete spat.

"I wet myself. Not my finest hour," Tracey said morosely.

_That bastard. That is _so_ like him_, Dawn snarled.

"Wouldn't you do something like that too in a similar situation?" Pikachu asked.

_Yes, but it was _Paul_ who did it in this instance, not me, _Dawn said. Pikachu sweatdropped.

"The Perfessor gave himself up after that, and they left," Molly said. "Oh, and the goons Tarantulas left behind tried to kill us the minute he was gone, but we took care o' them easily enough."

"At least eight members of my platoon died," the Druddigon said.

"…Well…easily enough for us undead pirate types, anyway," Molly said.

"The rest of our group stayed behind to cover our tracks while we headed for the exit to the city," Tracey continued. "I called you guys because I knew if anyone could help us now, it's you. Then we made our way out here, found you, and…well, you know the rest."

"Namely, that there is no 'the rest,'" Pete said.

Tracey gave him an annoyed look. "Yes, that."

"Wrong," Ash said. "'The rest' is that we take down Tarantulas, save the Professor, and destroy that thing before it kills anyone else."

"Oh. That works," Pete said.

Lugia spread his wings. "Ash, I shall go up and provide whatever assistance to the few fighters remaining that I can while you head into the ruins after Tarantulas."

"All right," Ash said. "Good luck, Lugia."

"I think it's the Nihilators you should be wishing luck to, rather than me," the god of the sea said with a smirk as he flapped his wings and rose into the air, soaring towards the Arachnoblast.

"You know, I should probably be more in awe that I was just in the presence of a god, but I'm a little too shell-shocked now to feel much of anything," Tracey said. The Druddigon nodded in agreement.

"I shall come with you into the ruins, but unfortunately, I cannot go with you into the tower," Nuken said apologetically. "I need to help whatever Draconian—or other—soldiers are left. It sounds like they lack leadership right now, and I'm the only one who can give it to them."

"Ahem," Victini said.

"_Victini_ and I are the only ones who can give it to them," the Shedinja reluctantly amended. "Reinforcements are on their way, but they won't make it for a while longer, and the troops here need all the help they can get to hold out until aid arrives."

"It's all right, Father. We know you're needed here," Lily said, causing the Shedinja to smile, something he quickly pretended hadn't happened.

"With you on our side, I'm sure we'll be able to turn the tide against the Nihilators, sir," the Druddigon said loyally.

"And don't forget me! Any side that I'm on can't help but win! Victory is assured!" Victini said, making a V sign.

"While a part of me wants to stay and see if I can find any of my friends…since your team is down one mon, I believe you will need me more. I will follow you into the depths in pursuit of Tarantulas and the Professor," Princess Boa said.

"We are honored to have you by our side," Pikachu said.

"Just so long as you don't take Sasha's place. Only she can do that!" Tiny said.

"I promise you, I have no intention of usurping your friend's position on this team," Boa said.

"Good. You'd better not be. Because if you were, Sasha wouldn't be happy," Tiny said. "She'd probably kill you or something. She could totally do that."

Ash pinched his brow as Boa gave the Pupitar a bemused look. "Tiny, that is _not_ the proper way to talk to royalty."

"You've raised him _so_ well," Misty said.

"Sorry, Daddy," Tiny apologized.

"All right, if everyone's decided who is or isn't coming, we have to get going," Tracey said. "Tarantulas already has a huge head start, and we're going to have to walk back through the tunnel into the city—since I don't think climbing past that thing up there is an option—and then we'll need to fight our way past the Nihilators swarming the streets."

"Couldn't I just portal us directly into the ruins?" Lily asked.

"…Or we could do that, yes," Tracey said.

"Is the entrance to the tower near the Door?" Pikachu asked.

"It's not in the same plaza as the Door, but its pretty close by," Tracey said. "We found it a while back. I can take you guys to the entrance from there. I don't actually know what it's like in there, though, so I'm afraid I won't be of much help to you or the Professor down there."

"That's all right, Tracey. You've done enough. Once you get us to the entrance, we'll take care of everything from there. You just find a safe place to hide," Leo said.

"Don't need to tell me _that_ twice," Tracey said.

"Then let's get going," Ash said. "Like you said, Tarantulas has a pretty big head start. We have to go."

As the others nodded, Leo suddenly said, "Hold it! We're walking into the middle of a warzone, and heading into a dungeon full of Arceus-knows-what traps and monsters and treasure and the like. Shouldn't we power up first?"

"That's probably not a bad idea," Pikachu said after a moment's consideration. "We'll want to be at our strongest going into this."

"You don't think we should save our new powers until we reach Tarantulas?" Lily asked.

_We haven't had a chance to test them in actual combat yet,_ Dawn pointed out. _If we have some experience using them in a real fight first, we'll be readier to deal with whatever surprises Tarantulas might have in store for us when we reach him._ She narrowed her eyes. _And I will know _exactly_ how to use my powers to kill Paul…_

"All right then! I'll start us off!" Leo said. "Tracey, you're gonna wanna watch this, it's gonna be awesome!"

"Actually, I'm more of a Poké Rangers fan than Masked Rider," Tracey said.

"…Well…still, it'll be awesome!" Leo said. He whipped out his deck and slid it into his belt buckle. It clicked into place, and then the buckle began to glow. He made a series of complex hand motions and struck a pose. "Henshin!" A golden energy sphere formed around him, causing everyone to back away as two rings started rotating around its circumference. As the rings passed over Leo's body, armor materialized over it, and by the time the rings finished a full rotation and vanished along with the sphere in an explosive burst of air, Leo was now completely clad in an armored suit. Most of his body was covered in tight black form-fitting spandex with boots going up to his knees with large round gold studs over the kneecaps and bronze greaves with black circles on the sides. His torso and shoulders were covered by a black metal cuirass with a large bronze crest taking up the front vaguely resembling a bird with a gold diamond for a head and golden talons growing from the bottom sides of the cuirass. His badge, pinned just above one side of the crest, had transformed, now looking like it was made of the same bronze and gold metal as the crest, with wings resembling Choc-Oboh's mark spreading to either side of it. His shoulders were covered by gold ailettes resembling flared-out feathers with bronze pauldrons with more large round gold studs underneath them. He had bronze vambraces with round gold couters. His scarf had turned red and elongated significantly, so its ends hung down over his back, partially covering the Choc-Oboh marking, now a blazing gold. His head was covered in a gold helmet with a number of V-shaped ridges with a vague feather motif covering the upper half of his face, and a crest somewhat looking like a feather rising from the peak. The lower half of his face was covered by a faceplate with several horizontal slits running across its surface. He was still wearing his sunglasses, which had been incorporated into his helmet. One of his arms retracted into his shell, and came back out with a white fedora, which he dramatically placed on his head and cocked at a jaunty angle. "The hard-boiled hot-blooded hero who walks the path of heaven! Masked Rider Phoenix! Iiiiit's Showtime!" he shouted, striking a pose as the ground exploded behind him and flames resembling Choc-Oboh briefly blazed up behind him.

"Okay, that _is_ pretty awesome," Tracey admitted.

"What the heck just happened?!" Molly asked in confusion. Pete shrugged.

"…Why was there an explosion just now?" asked Nuken.

"Better not to ask," Pikachu said.

_You didn't say all that the last time,_ Dawn said.

"And what's with the hat?" Ash asked.

"Every good Henshin Hero needs a dramatic declaration of purpose and identity when they transform," Leo explained. "As for the hat, I was inspired by one of my favorite Masked Riders, Masked Rider Triple, the three-in-one Masked Rider!"

"…Three-in-one?" Boa asked.

"Yeah, Triple's actually three different guys working at a detective agency, but each can transform into a different Rider, and they have the ability to fuse together to create the titular hero, Triple! And he wears a hat just like this, to make him look even cooler," Leo said, pointing to his hat.

"Three minds in one body? Must get pretty crowded…" Fat Pete commented.

"I don't know, I do fine with four brains," Briney said.

"Well, I think it looks _very_ stylish," Lily said, causing Leo to grin.

Briney nodded. "Yeah, can't go wrong with a good hat."

"Why do you think I wear this top hat all the time?" Tiny agreed.

"I don't understand anything that's happening," the Druddigon said.

"Trust me, you're better off not trying to understand the workings of Leo's mind," Pikachu said as he drew his sword and raised it into the air. "My turn."

"Are you going to say 'henshin?' You should totally say 'henshin,'" Leo said eagerly.

"No," Pikachu said. A lightning bolt shot down from the heavens and struck his blade. There was a blinding flash of light, static crackling all over the place and making everyone's fur stand on end. When the light died down, Pikachu was now clad in samurai armor that looked as if it were made from lightning made solid, arcs and spikes of electricity crackling across its otherwise solid form. A dou with the images of Raikou and Zekrom engraved into it dancing around lightning bolts covered his front. His badge had been fused to his chest armor, and now had jagged gold lightning bolts jutting from the sides in place of the usual wings. Jagged-edged kusazuri with lightning bolts engraved into each plate hung from the front and back to protect his upper legs. Haidate made of cloth that looked to be electricity turned into woven thread covered his thighs, small metal lightning bolt-shaped plates connected by chain lightning sewn into it. Suneate made of splints of metal crackling with electricity linked by chain lightning wrapped around his calves and shins, right above kogake covering his hindpaws. Sode resembling his kusazuris with large glowing spikes resembling lightning bolts growing from the tops covered his shoulders. Han kote made of lightning cloth covered in plates of solidified electricity linked by chain lightning covered his forearms. A helmet with the Thunderblade family crest on the forehead, lightning bolt horns, and a faceplate resembling a snarling Raikou covered his head, his now-yellow eyes visible through eyeholes. His tail was unarmored, but looked like it had turned into an actual lightning bolt, rather than just being shaped like one. Similarly, Thunder Fang too looked as if it were now made of pure electrical energy, crackling yellow and white rather than blue, with several glowing black runes written somehow into its side. It was also a couple of inches longer. The sword's scabbard, slung on Pikachu's back, had changed as well, lengthening to accommodate the sword's growth and turned black with gold leaf lightning bolts looking like they were actual lightning bolts rather than just designs.

"Oh, wow! That's even cooler than Leo's transformation!" Tracey gushed.

"Wait, what?!" Leo cried. "But he didn't even say 'henshin!'"

Pikachu nodded at his vassal/fiancé. "Dawn?"

_With pleasure, Master, _the ninja said, focusing her power. As blue-white energy pulsed around her, she let out a cry and was suddenly encased in a great mass of ice. Cracks ran down the surface of the ice, and it shattered, revealing that she was wearing armor made of ice similar to the Slicer armor she'd worn when she'd been forcibly transformed into a Shadow Pokémon. However, the ice used to make this armor was blue-white, rather than black. A pair of plaques with curved blades resembling some of Kyurem's icy protrusions formed on her shoulders. Gauntlets with three curved blades each formed around her wrists. A pair of large blue-white three-clawed talons formed over each of her paws that looked like they were made of a mixture of metal and ice, with gray runes and engravings of Kyurem spiraling up the sides. Ice plates covered the fleece on the lower half of her body and ice boots with three curved blades each on the greaves formed on her feet. Her badge had turned to ice as well. An ice helmet formed of layered plates with a trident-shaped ornament on the forehead and curved icy horn-like 'sheaths' for her ears formed over her head, a pair of ice plates snapping into place over her face and hiding all of it except for her glowing white eyes. Similar engravings as the ones on her talons covered most of her blades and the plates making up her armor, giving her suit a rather ornate and beautiful appearance, without letting one forget that every inch of it could probably be used to kill something.

"IT'S THE SLICER!" Tracey screamed. "Or rather, another one, since I already saw Paul wearing armor sort of like that, but made of gold instead of ice."

"I know, right?" Leo said. "Too bad she didn't say 'henshin,' though."

"Oooh. Shiny," Pete said.

"Great, now the ninja's even stronger," Molly complained.

Dawn grinned under her faceplate. _Let's see how Paul's new armor handles _this.

"I guess that just leaves me then," Lily said, taking out her wand. Her eyes glowed, as did the Rayquaza mark on her face. "And to satisfy my husband…Henshin!"

"Yes! Finally!" Leo cheered.

With a cry, Lily burst into flames, her form vanishing in the mass of fire. Unlike the last time she had transformed the day before yesterday, however, this time the fire took on a new appearance; elongating and thinning and rising into the air in the form of a great blazing Rayquaza. Nuken and the Druddigon gasped and reflexively knelt, sensing their King's power, while Tracey's jaw dropped and Leo's eyes widened with glee under his sunglasses. A pair of flaming wings spread from the fiery Rayquaza's back, and the burning dragon screeched, suddenly exploding in a great conflagration, revealing the new Lily. Her skin had turned from purple to red and yellow. Dancing flames licked at the hems of her cloak, with the yellow ring-like symbols covering it burning in an ethereal blaze. Her tail had a flame at the end reminiscent of a Charizard's. The jewels of her necklace had become flaming balls of molten rock with burning sigils carved into their surfaces. Both of her rings were unharmed by the flames, and still embedded in the central stone of her necklace, and glowed with a light similar to yet different from the fire surrounding her. Her scarf had turned red with yellow fire motifs, and her badge looked like a piece of fire made solid somehow. Her hat turned orange with a yellow tip, had a circlet that looked as if it were made of crystallized fire with glittering rubies set into its frozen surface ringing the central part, and was embroidered with actually burning flames and images of Reshiram and Rayquaza. Her Rayquaza tattoo looked as if it were etched in flame, and seemed to be moving before their very eyes. Her pupils had vanished, leaving her with black eyes and red irises. Embers and a few balls of fire orbited her body, and a pair of small draconic wings made of fire spread from her back.

"…Humina humina humina," Leo said, drooling under his mask.

"Okay, she might be a _little_ hotter than my girlfriend," Tracey said grudgingly, trying to suppress a nosebleed. "Only a little, though!"

_My daughter…she…almost looks like a dragon,_ Nuken thought to himself, awestruck. _It's magnificent…_

"Incredible…is she an envoy of His Excellency?!" the Druddigon asked.

"No, she's my daughter," Nuken said out loud. "Which is close enough." The Druddigon nodded fervently in agreement.

"Woooow," Tiny said.

"She didn't look like that the last time," Pikachu said in surprise.

_The last time she wasn't evolved,_ Dawn pointed out. She found herself wondering what her powered-up form would look like after _she_ evolved. And what _Pikachu_ might look like…

"How do I look?" Lily asked as she descended back towards her friends.

"Guh," Leo said eloquently.

Lily giggled. "I'll take that as 'very good.'" She kissed Leo, leaving a scorch mark in the shape of a kiss on his faceplate. He swooned. "Sorry I didn't come up with a good proclamation like yours after I changed. Maybe we can come up with one together later?"

"Blargblhbdh," Leo babbled in (possible) agreement, deliriously happy.

"Well, that sure was impressive! I bet your second form will knock the rest of 'em out of the park though, right Cap'n?" Molly asked Briney.

"I don't have one," Briney said.

"…Oh," Molly said.

"It's fine. Not like I need one. I _am_ Briney, after all," the Metagross boasted.

"That's true," Pete said.

"Do you three have Super Modes too?" Tracey asked of Ash, Tiny, and Princess Boa.

"Neither Tiny or I have anything like that (yet)," Ash said. "However, with all the Aura training we've been doing with Brycen back in Fichina, I think it's safe to say we'll be able to keep an even footing with the others."

"Yeah! Even if I was asleep part of the time…" Tiny murmured to himself.

"Still, we can 'power up' to an extent. Tiny?" Ash asked his son.

The Pupitar nodded. "Ready, Daddy?"

Father and son squeezed their eyes shut in concentration. Suddenly, brilliant azure blazes of Aura erupted around them, cratering the ground under their feet (or hovering shell, in Tiny's case), the blast blowing everyone's hair back. Blue flames towered high into the air for a moment, before shrinking down to a more manageable level, while still retaining the same level of intensity. Ash's muscles bulked up, the veins standing out more visibly, and Tiny's shell creaked and expanded outwards a little, cracks forming as it tried to keep holding in the increased muscle mass of the gestating Pokémon inside. Their eyes shot open, their pupils turned a glowing blue the same shade as their Auras. "How's that?" Ash asked, flexing his arms. "Not bad, huh?"

"It's…okay," Misty said, struggling not to ogle Ash's pecs.

"Meh, I give it a three," Tracey said, causing Ash and Tiny to facefault.

"Yeah, everyone else's transformations were way cooler!" Fat Pete agreed.

"All it looks like you guys did was use Kai-o-ken from Dragonite Ball Z," Leo said. "Except a different color."

"Kai-o-what?" Nuken asked.

"We're not doing that joke," Leo said, much to the Shedinja's confusion.

"It would be a lot more impressive if they went Super Saiyamajin," Tracey agreed. "Though it'd be weird if Ash's hair grew super-long."

"Or if Tiny grew hair at all!" Leo concurred. He rubbed the top of his helmet wistfully. "I wish I had hair."

"You're fine just the way you are, Leo," Lily said, kissing him on the cheek and giving him another scorch mark. Leo squealed and turned very red under his mask.

"Well, I'm sorry if the techniques of the ancient Aura Guardians aren't quite up to your standards," Ash sniffed in annoyance.

"It's perfectly all right, lad…even if you do look like you've been taking steroids," Briney said. Ash's eye twitched.

"Maybe if we'd said 'henshin,' they wouldn't be complaining as much?" Tiny suggested. Ash groaned.

"That just leaves you then, Miss," Pete said to the Princess. "You got anything?"

"And if so, I hope it's more impressive than what those two just did," Molly said. Ash growled.

"Well…there is _one_ thing I can do," Boa said, looking pensive.

"Oh?" Pikachu asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, she can evolve," Victini said, causing Boa to shoot her a look.

"You can? Really?" Lily asked in surprise. "Why haven't you already, then?"

"For much the same reason I didn't, at first," Briney interjected. "It felt like a major change and she wasn't sure she was willing to make it just yet."

"Could you please not poke around inside my head?" Boa asked in annoyance.

"No," Briney said.

"You know, I'm pretty sure reading the mind of a member of royalty without their permission is a capital offense," Boa said crossly.

"Ha! I'd like to see you try to enforce that," Briney said in amusement.

"Don't tempt me…" the Servine growled.

"You don't have to evolve if you don't want to," Victini said.

Boa shook her head. "No, Pikachu and Dawn are right. I should be at my strongest going into this, as well as get a chance to know how my new powers work so I'll be ready for the big fight."

"What, I don't get any credit for bringing up the idea in the first place?" Leo complained. He was ignored.

"I've been on the brink of evolving for quite some time, but suppressed it because I wasn't sure I was ready…and because I wanted to save it for when it was truly needed," Boa continued. "And I suppose that time is now. I'm still not sure I'm ready…but everyone else has already assumed stronger forms, so I suppose it would probably be a good idea for me to do so as well…even if evolution is a one-way path."

"That it is, but I'm not complaining about it," Briney said.

"I had some concerns with evolving at first," Lily admitted. "But I think the new power I have received was well worth it."

"Not to mention the increased hotness," Tracey murmured.

"I'd probably hit you for perving on my girl if you weren't absolutely right," Leo said.

"In that case, I will go through with it and evolve into a Serperior," Boa declared.

"A good idea. Any tactical advantage we can gain will be of use to us, and Serperior are renowned for their ability to strike hard and fast," Nuken agreed.

"Um, but won't you be unable to use your sword any more? I mean, you'll lose your arms and all," Tiny pointed out. "I certainly miss having arms…"

"I can grow vines. I am as proficient with my blade using my vines as I am with my hands," Boa said. "It won't be that big a change."

"Oh," Tiny said. "Wish I could grow vines…"

"Don't worry, Tiny, you'll get your arms back as soon as you evolve," Ash said.

"Everyone, take a few steps back, please," Boa said. "I'm going to need some space for this." Recalling how, well, _explosive_ Lily's evolution the previous day had been, everyone quickly backed away from her. "Thank you." She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, marshaled her strength, and murmured a cantrip.

"Aren't you going to tell her to say, 'henshin?'" Pikachu asked Leo as Boa started to glow.

Leo shook his head. "Nah, for evolution she should say, 'Servine (or Princess Boa) Shinka toooooooo Serperior!' I know I'm going to say something like that when _I_ evolve!"

Pikachu sighed. "Of course you are, Leo."

"Oh…I didn't say that when I evolved…" Lily said.

"Nah, it's okay, babe, I have _two_ evolutions coming, so I'll say them loud enough for the both of us," Leo assured her.

There was a blinding flash of light, and the Mystic Knight was transformed. Her body had grown significantly, losing its arms and legs to take on a ten-foot long serpentine form. Her body was covered almost completely in dazzling white interlocking armor plates with green and gold leaves and runes engraved into them, with the royal crest of Fichina emblazoned on her chestplate, or the closest thing she had to it. The armor was hinged and segmented so that it covered her entire form without hindering her flexibility and mobility, and was enchanted with lightness so it didn't affect her agility, either. Razor-edged sprigs of metal leaves tipped her tail. A set of leaf-embossed spaulders hung over where her shoulders had been when she was a Servine, covering a pair of small, stubby protrusions that looked more like leafy growth than hands. A green cape hung down the upper third of her back. Her rapier still hung at her side. Tendril-like metal extensions spread out from the sides of her lower neck, forming what looked like a fancy collar with a fan of metal plates around the back to protect her rear. Her neck was covered in several ring-like gorgets to protect it, but her head was exposed, revealing her flawless aristocratic beauty. She had curled green patterns on the sides of her otherwise white face and snout, yellow pointed extensions growing from the back of her head, narrow red eyes and small, pointed teeth on her lower jaw. A jagged wrought-iron coronet topped her brow, completing her 'warrior princess' look. She looked at herself appraisingly, as did everyone else. "Hmm. Not bad."

Fat Pete whistled. "Cor! They grow 'em fine in Fichina, don't they, Molly?"

"Aye, that they do," the undead Chatot said, glaring at the Serperior enviously.

"Heh, looking good, Princess!" Victini complimented. The Druddigon blushed and looked away.

"Not bad," Nuken grunted.

"Dammit Leo, why you gotta have all the hot chicks in your team?!" Tracey complained.

"Because I'm one lucky bastard," Leo said smugly.

…_Both Dawn and Princess Boa became much more attractive when they evolved…and Lopunny are supposed to be very beautiful, _Dawn thought. _Will…I look like that when I evolve?_ She wasn't envious, her appearance didn't matter to her, but…someone like her master deserved a very attractive mate, and as his loyal vassal it behooved her to provide him with one. _Well, once I kill Paul and evolve as Darkrai promised I would, I'll find out. Just a little longer…_

"My power and magic have increased exponentially," Boa commented, a green glow suffusing her body. "Incredible…why did I not do this sooner?"

"A question I asked myself when I evolved," Briney said.

"It's quite a rush, isn't it?" Lily said kindly.

"Daddy, now I want to evolve!" Tiny whined.

"It'll happen soon, son, I'm sure of it," Ash assured the Pupitar.

"Not to nit-pick, but why did your armor change when you did?" Pikachu asked.

"Because it's magic armor," Boa said.

Pikachu sighed. "Right. Of course. Why did I even bother asking?"

"Heck if I'd know. You'd think you'd have given up on trying to make sense of stuff like this by now," Leo said, to which Pikachu reluctantly agreed.

"Can you still use your sword?" Lily asked in concern. "I know you said you could, but…"

Boa smirked, a Vine Whip sprouting from one of the leafy growths that were all that remained of her arms and wrapping itself around the hilt of her rapier. She drew it in one swift motion and sliced it rapidly in front of her, leaving green lines in the wake of her blade that seemed to rend the air around her. "Does that answer your question?"

"Not bad," Pikachu said. "But what will you do if someone severs the vine holding that sword?"

To answer that question, Boa flung her rapier into the air, retracted her vine, and looked up at the sword, eyes glowing. A green aura surrounded the blade, and it shot down towards her, freezing in place only millimeters from her snout. It flipped around and started jabbing at an invisible target in front of it several times a second before inverting itself and slipping back into its holster on her side. She turned to Pikachu, raising an eyebrow. "Well?"

Pikachu grinned. "I think our sparring sessions are going to get a _lot_ more interesting from now on."

"I wish _I_ could do that," Tiny griped.

"You aren't ready for your sword yet ," Ash said.

"When I am, will I be able to use Aura to do a trick like that?" Tiny asked.

"…Probably not, actually," Ash said. The only reason he could do something like that with his staff—and even then, not to the same degree as Boa had just demonstrated—was because it was specially designed to accommodate the powers of Aura wielders.

"Actually, he can," Briney corrected Ash.

"Really?!" Tiny asked excitedly.

"Sure. The thing's magic, after all," Briney said.

"Yatta!" Tiny said, causing Ash to pale in horror at the thought of his son making a sword THAT BIG fly through the air with his mind.

"Hey, that's my line," Leo complained.

"Have you actually copyrighted it?" Tracey asked.

"Well, no, but everyone knows it's the thing I do," Leo grumbled. "A mon doesn't steal another mon's catchphrase, after all. Unless it's shared, I guess."

"I thought you got your catchphrase from a character on-" Lily started.

"MOVING ON," Leo said loudly.

"This is all well and good," Molly said suddenly. "And all those nifty transformations were fancy and whatnot…but while we're standin' here congratulatin' ourselves, that vermin Tarantulas is takin' the Perfessor to do Kyogre-knows-what to him!"

The Druddigon frowned in alarm. "And more of my brothers-in-arms have probably died in battle while we were wasting our time here!"

"Relax, they're fine, and nothing important happened while we were busy catching up and changing forms," Leo asked.

"How can you possibly say that?!" the Druddigon asked incredulously.

Leo snorted. "Duh, because-"

"Wait, don't tell me," Pikachu groaned. "Talking is a Free Action?"

"What? No, mon, where'd you get that idea?" Leo asked perplexed.

Pikachu gave him a surprised look. "What? Really?!"

"Yeah!" Leo said, as if it were obvious.

"But…then why don't we have to worry about anything having happened while we were changing?" Ash asked in confusion.

"Well, because this is clearly a case of _Transformation_ is a Free Action, not Talking! Completely different," Leo explained. His entire team, sans Lily and a confused Boa, facepalmed.

"I do not understand," said the puzzled Serperior.

"Don't. Just…don't," Ash said weakly. "It's not worth getting into." As Boa nodded uncertainly, the Lucario sighed. "Let's…just get a move on, okay? We don't have time to sit around talking."

"Well, we could, but-" Leo started.

"WE DON'T HAVE TIME TO SIT AROUND TALKING," Ash repeated very loudly.

Lily nodded. "Right. I'll open a portal to the Door's plaza. Tracey can lead us to the entrance to the tower from there."

"There's a lot of enemy forces entrenched around the Door, so we should be ready for a fight," the Druddigon warned them.

"A fight? Excellent. I could use a little bloodshed right about now," Nuken said eagerly.

Victini nodded as she drew her massive sword. "They're going to pay for what they've done to our soldiers."

Lily's brow furrowed as she concentrated. "I'm getting some resistance. The energies being put out by the Door are making it difficult to open a portal there."

"Then we're going to have to take the long way around!? But who knows what'll happen to the Professor by then!" Tracey protested.

"I said difficult, not impossible," Lily said. "Give me a moment, I'll get us there."

"Ha! That's my girl!" Leo bragged. "Hey Tracey, can _your_ girlfriend do a trick like that?"

"No…" Tracey grumbled reluctantly.

"Because she doesn't exist?" Fat Pete joked.

"She does _too_ exist! She's just not a magician!" Tracey said.

"Uh-huh, sure, we believe ye," Molly said, clearly doing no such thing. The Smeargle growled in frustration.

As the air began warping in front of Lily while her face creased in concentration and the others tensed, getting ready for a fight, Ash glanced at Tiny, sensing a hint of concern and unease in his son's Aura. "Something wrong, Tiny?"

"…A little," the Pupitar said.

"Are you worried we won't be able to save the Professor?" Ash asked. "Because that's nothing to worry about, we'll _definitely_ rescue him."

"Have you rescued _everyone_ you've ever gone on a mission to save?" Tiny asked.

Ash faltered. This wasn't something that he'd ever had to talk to his son about. "I…well…"

"You haven't, have you?" Tiny asked.

Ash looked down, painfully recalling the debacle their mission in the Tree of Beginning had become…and other incidents before that, back in Kanjohenn. "Not…all the time, no."

"You certainly didn't save _me_," Misty said caustically.

"We have a very good success rate, though," Ash said quickly, trying to raise his son's spirits and keep him from losing his faith in him. "I mean, just look at our current adventure, we…well…okay, we couldn't save the Tree of Beginning…and we lost three Star Badges…and Vladimir died…and I'm slowly losing my mind…but, but aside from that, we're doing pretty well…aren't we?"

Tiny glared at Ash, and the Lucario realized with a sinking sense of dread his false cheer wasn't winning his son over. Then again, given both of their Aura proficiencies Tiny could obviously tell Ash was faking it. "Daddy," Tiny said. "Just because I'm only a few weeks old doesn't mean you have to treat me like a little kid anymore. I'm halfway through my evolutionary cycle and I'm engaged to get married. I appreciate that you're trying to preserve my innocence…but let's be frank, have I _ever_ been innocent? I was traumatized _before I even hatched_ and have been going from one harrowing adventure to another since then. Frankly, I think I'm starting to understand why Mommy is hesitant about letting me go off to Mars with you guys."

"You don't want to come with us?!" Ash spluttered in alarm.

"I didn't say that, my point is that it's not the sort of thing most parents drag their children into at an early age. I don't blame you for doing it, you're a great dad and I know we're doing the right thing and that the things we do are necessary and important, and that I've been a crucial part of this team's success on numerous occasions, it's just that there's little point in trying to safeguard my innocence because I lost it the day my mother was taken from me. And I nearly got turned into a hot dog by a crazy Arcanine," Tiny said. "So with that said…Daddy, can you look around and _honestly_ tell me this'll all work out okay?"

Ash looked around. He saw his friends, geared up and ready for battle. He saw Tracey, scarred in both mind and body from this ordeal. He saw the broken and shattered landscape around them. He saw the bodies and wrecked ships. He saw Polly scuttling in their direction, the broken ruin of the _Peeko XII_ left on the ground some distance away. He saw the gaping crater that was all that remained of Treasure Town. He saw the Arachnoblast, shrieking as Lugia and the handful of remaining aerial soldiers put up as much of a fight as they could. "…No," he said quietly. "I can't."

Tiny nodded. "We're going to have to build a memorial when we're done, aren't we? Like the one we made at Dusty Ditch, or for Vladimir. Only a LOT more people died here."

"Yes," Ash said.

"And we're going to have to make one on Mars, too, because even MORE people are going to die when we take on the Nihilators," Tiny said.

Ash swallowed, a lump stuck in his throat. "Yes."

Tiny nodded and looked up at the crater, and the towering Arachnoblast. "Daddy, how many more good Pokémon are going to die before the Nihilators are finished?"

Ash closed his eyes. "I have no idea."

Tiny nodded. "I think I'm beginning to understand why some people could lose faith in Arceus, or the Guardians, or gods in general, if they let things like this happen." Both Victini and Lugia shuddered, and weren't sure why.

Ash's heart skipped a beat. "Tiny!"

"What? Oh, no, I'm not saying _I've_ lost faith," Tiny said, much to Ash's relief. "I mean, we've met plenty of perfectly nice and helpful deities on this adventure, even if I wish there was more they could do to…to fix you. So I know most of them are okay and try their best to be good. But I've also seen they aren't infallible and can make mistakes. The fact that the three birds became evil, and were _allowed_ to be evil for so long is proof of that. So I don't blame them for screwing things up, even if it makes trouble for the rest of us. After all, we make mistakes too, and they affect more than just ourselves, and we have to live with the consequences. So do they. Heck, maybe Arceus Himself isn't perfect, and just doesn't want anyone to figure it out…because if _He's_ flawed, then what hope is there for the rest of us?"

Ash couldn't think of anything to say. He just looked at Tiny, shocked, as his heart sank deeper and deeper with each word that came out of the Pupitar's mouth. Tiny didn't sound particularly cynical, but there was such a feeling of…_resignation_ in his voice. Like a child who had been told (incorrectly) that Santa Christ didn't exist, and no longer believed in miracles or was optimistic about the future. And although Tiny claimed that he had lost his innocence a long time ago, Ash couldn't help but feel as if something precious and irreplaceable had died right before his eyes at that moment, and that any chance he might have had to remedy it had slipped away without him realizing it. _I've failed him_, he realized, shocked. _I've been so wrapped up in my own issues I wasn't there to help him or give him reassurance when he needed it. I didn't even know he'd fallen in love…I'm a terrible father._

Sensing his father's despair, Tiny floated over and nuzzled him. "You're not a bad dad, Daddy. You're doing the best you can, and I love you for it."

"But you don't think I'm perfect anymore, or can do no wrong," Ash said, struck by a sudden horrid realization. When Tiny had been talking about fallibility, he hadn't really been talking about gods, had he?

Tiny hesitated, and Ash's heart broke all over again. He'd known on some level that this would happen to all of his children someday…but he'd always assumed it wouldn't be for a long while yet. Not today. Not like this. Not with _Tiny._ "…No. I'm sorry, but I don't. Not anymore."

"Why?" Ash whispered.

For a moment, he wasn't sure he'd actually said anything out loud, and was about to repeat the question when Tiny said, "Because I'm afraid, Daddy."

"…Of…of me?" Ash stammered, not sure what he would do if that were the case.

"No," Tiny said, and Ash believed it. He had to. Because if it wasn't true, he didn't know what he'd do. "I'm afraid _for_ you. I'm afraid you will fail. I'm afraid of what you might become. Before, I was absolutely certain you'd be okay, that you'd fight this off and everything would be all right."

"And…now?" Ash asked, dreading the answer.

"Now…I'm not so sure," Tiny said reluctantly. "No matter what you try, no matter what anyone does—or _doesn't_ do—nothing seems to be working. When you had that outburst just a little while ago, I was _terrified_, Daddy."

"Of what? That I'd hurt you?" Ash asked anxiously. He wanted to tell Tiny that that was ridiculous, that he would never hurt him. They both knew that wasn't a promise he could keep.

"No, that _we'd_ have to hurt you," Tiny repeated. "You made us all promise to…to put an end to you if things went too far. Back then, in the Council Chamber, I was afraid that we'd have to do that. And I'm not sure what's more frightening…if we would be unable to fulfill our promise…or if we could."

"…I don't want you to have to kill me, Tiny, and not just for the obvious reasons," Ash said.

"I don't want to kill you either, Daddy!" Tiny said. "But…you can't say there's not a chance that…that we'll…have to…"

"No," Ash admitted sullenly. "No, I can't."

"I'm sorry, Daddy," Tiny said.

"It's all right," Ash said, though they both knew it wasn't. "I…I just need a second." He turned away.

"Daddy, I don't think we have time for you to-" Tiny started.

"Just give me a second, Tiny, this is a bit much for me to handle right now!" Ash snarled more harshly than he intended, his Aura flaring briefly. Tiny recoiled, hurt radiating from him, and Ash knew he'd made yet another terrible mistake. "I…I'm sorry. I…" He winced and turned from his son, walking away.

Pikachu, who had been spending the last few minutes talking to Dawn about strategy for her impending rematch with Paul and how he might be able to help, blinked when he noticed Ash walking away from the group. "Where is he going?"

"He needs a minute to clear his head," Briney said solemnly, a troubled look in his eyes.

"I don't believe we have a minute to spare," Boa said.

"We're going to need one. Ash…isn't well right now," Briney said softly, glancing at Tiny, who was staring after his father with a forlorn expression on his face.

"Should we…?" Leo asked uncertainly.

Briney shook his head. "No. Right now, we're the last people Ash needs to see." _He doesn't need a reminder right now of what he might do to us…or what _we_ might do to him…_

Ash walked several meters away from the group and sat down on the ground, laying his staff next to him. He stared, unseeing, across the wasteland for a few moments, his Aura ebbing around his form. He thought nothing. He felt nothing. He was simply…numb. If he noticed Misty sitting next to him, a conflicted look on her face, he showed no sign.

"How dare he."

Ash stirred. "Huh?"

"How dare he," Misty said angrily. "He knows you're in a very delicate state right now. He knows you're unstable and…not well. And…and in spite of that, he goes and drops something like _that_ on you! How dare he!"

"And why should you care?" Ash asked bitterly.

"I care!" she insisted.

"_Why?!_" Ash snarled without looking at her, causing her to flinch back. "You hate me! You've said as much dozens of times! You're constantly taunting me about how my transformation into a Void Pokémon is inevitable, and how I'm either going to kill everyone or everyone is going to kill me. Why the _fuck_ do you care that my own son is having doubts about me?!"

"I-I…" Misty stammered.

"_Well?"_

"I don't know, okay!" Misty shouted finally. "I…I just do…and I don't know why…"

Ash made a curt laugh. "And _I'm_ the messed-up one? Seems to me like you have issues of your own to work out, Misty. If you hate me so much, show some fucking consistency, because its things like that that make me wonder if you _really_ want me dead after all."

"I _do_ want you dead!" Misty snapped.

"Then act like it! Or don't!" Ash yelled. "Make up your mind. Or leave me alone. Or do whatever the fuck you want. I'm not sure I really care anymore."

Misty cringed. "…Ash…I…"

"Ash!" Pikachu shouted. "Lily's ready! I'm sorry if you're dealing with…something right now, but we have to go! We can talk about it later!"

"Well, that's my cue," Ash said, standing up. "Putting my own issues on hold and letting them get worse and worse because I have to go save someone else. Again. As usual. That's the life of the Chosen One, huh? Thank Arceus for bestowing this infinite honor upon me."

His Aura simmering, he stalked away, not seeming to notice his footprints were burning. Misty stared after him for a while, confusion and hurt and longing flickering across her decaying features. "I don't understand," she whispered. "I hate you. I _know_ I hate you.

"But then…why does a part of me want you to come out of this in one piece?"

…

Meanwhile…

Deep, deep, _deep_ beneath the crater that had once been Treasure Town, beneath the ruins of the first civilization to settle there, beneath the accursed Door to the Abyss, there was a cylindrical chamber. A _great_ chamber. One so large that all the inhabitants of Treasure Town prior to its occupation and subsequent destruction could have been crammed in there in all their unwashed glory.

The chamber was made of an unearthly material that seemed to be part stone, part metal, and part crystal, in a completely alien style, much like the ruins far above it. Glowing runes matching the same language of the long-dead race that had once dwelled in the ancient city drifted all over the place…but many of the runes were either red, looked broken, or both. Carvings and heads of strange creatures unlike any Pokémon that had ever walked the face of the Earth lined the higher reaches of the vaulted walls, and grew so thick higher up in the chamber that the entire ceiling seemed to be completely made up of them, all staring down in silent condemnation at what was occurring below them. A large bell held by a statue of some kind of many-winged almost incomprehensible semi-serpentine alien being was suspended by chains high above the floor.

In the center of the room, there was a great circular dais with a pit in the middle, and complex glowing lines reminiscent of circuit patterns running away from the pit, across the floor, and into the walls. The Emerald Star Badge was floating in the air over the pit. The pit was full of blood, the level of which gradually rose bit by bit with each new Pokémon that jumped into it, accompanied by a brief flash from the Star Badge and pulses of light flowing through the power conduits on the floor. And what Pokémon might be jumping into this pit, you might wonder?

Chobins. Hundreds and hundreds of giggling, deranged Sunfloras, spawning at least a dozen per second from banks of cloning machines that had been set up against the walls, dancing and twirling in surprisingly neat rows and patterns towards the center of the room, where they cheerfully jumped into the pit. Whenever a Chobin passed the pit's threshold, there was a flash of light from the Star Badge and they were completely liquefied, their blood raining down to join the ever-growing crimson mass steadily rising towards the top of the sacrificial well.

But one can't dance without a tune, and that tune was provided by a very high-tech pipe organ that had been set up against the back wall between two of the cloning machines, performed by Viers of all Pokémon, who claimed that he'd been a pianist (or eaten a pianist, it wasn't clear) at one point in his storied life before joining the Nihilators. The tune, incidentally, was 'The Itsy Bitsy Spinarak,' but the way Viers played it made a simple nursery rhyme sound like an ominous dirge of impending doom. Which, in this instance, it was. A digital readout hung on the wall right above the organ with a number on it, and every time a Chobin jumped into the pit, the number went up by one. Robot spiders crawled around the readout and the walls and sculptures, maintaining the cloning pods and generally adding to the very creepy atmosphere of the chamber.

"Look at them! Look at them all! So many Chobins!" the only Sunflora in the room wearing glasses cried, looking at his many clones with glee from where he stood next to the pipe organ.

"I know…it's horrible…" Raikou murmured in disgust.

"So many of them…all looking at me like that…" Entei shuddered.

"We should kill them all," Suicune said in disgust.

"That's kind of what we're doing anyway," Paul, wearing a suit of golden armor comprising of two gauntlets, some mail, a chestplate and a helmet all resembling the Slicer's armor, pointed out. The Gold Star Badge was fastened to his chestplate.

"Yes, but they make my skin crawl. I'd rather do it in person rather than watch them march to their deaths," Suicune sniffed.

"How can they be okay with that, anyway? Is Chobin really that messed up that every one of his clones is happy killing themselves?" Raikou asked.

"YES WE CHOBIN ARE IN FACT BEING HAPPY KILLING OUR CHOBINSELVES!" every Chobin in the room shouted cheerfully.

"Ah," Raikou said, sweatdropping.

"Oh, how dearly Chobin wishes Chobin could join Chobin's brethren in marching to their Chobiny deaths! It looks so wonderful! And Chobintastic!" Chobin gushed.

"Not just yet, Chobin," Tarantulas said from his perch tied to the top of Chobin's head. "You can be ze last to go in if you like, but I still need you here for ze moment."

"Okie-dokie-pokie-smokie-bokie-lokie-rokie-yokie-wokie-eokie-rokie-tokie-yokie-quokie-kokie-jokie-hokie-gokie-fokie-stokie-zokie-cokie-vokie-nokie-mokie-cream pudding!" Chobin said happily.

Rolling his eyes, Tarantulas turned to face his guest…or tried to, before remembering he couldn't move on his own power. "Chobin, turn to face our guest, would you please?"

"Okie-dokie-pokie-smokie-bokie-lokie-rokie-yokie-wokie-eokie-rokie-tokie-yokie-quokie-kokie-jokie-hokie-gokie-fokie-stokie-zokie-cokie-vokie-nokie-mokie-cream pudding!" Chobin said, happily complying.

Once he was face-to-face with his prisoner, Tarantulas grinned savagely. "Vell, Samuel? Vhat do you zink of my latest flash of brilliance?"

"I think it's absolutely disgusting, Tomaru," Professor Oak, bound in metal spider thread and wearing a psionic inhibitor around his forehead said distastefully.

Tarantulas laughed. "I know! Ze ancients who built zis place put a great seal on it to keep its power from ever being unleashed…a seal zat could only be broken by sacrificing one zouzand and one vicked beings. Zey believed zat nobody vould be able to break ze seal, because not only vould it be impossible to gazer so many evil beings—let alone fit zem in here—but zey zought zat nobody vould possibly be vile enough to sacrifice so many! Vell, look who has ze last laugh _now!_ Zose imbeciles clearly never zought about _cloning!_"

"Actually, I was referring more to the fact that you're cloning this many Chobins than that you're giving them life just to kill them," Oak said. "You and I both know the world can barely handle one Chobin, let alone this many."

"Oh. Yes. Zat's true," Tarantulas admitted. "It's a good zing I'm only making zem to kill zem, really, or else zis sort of zing vould probably horribly backfire on me."

"It'll probably horribly backfire on you anyway, given your track record," Paul snarked. Tarantulas glared at him.

"Chobin does not see being any problem in making more Chobin and making more Chobin and making more Chobin and making more Chobin!" Chobin said. "We can be making to an army of Chobins to drown the world in Chobins and remake the world in Chobin's horribly flawed image!" All the Chobins in the room paused in their tracks to consider this. And since the cloning machines were still churning out new Chobins, pileups started to occur, and some of the old and new Chobins started arguing and eating and raping each other while others thought, which is always a horrible thing for any Chobin to do.

"Oh crap, they're getting ideas!" Raikou cried in horror.

"Quickly, kill them all before they turn on us!" Suicune said, gathering her power.

"Sounds like a good plan to me," Paul said, brandishing his claws.

"Zat von't be necessary. Chobin, if you vere to make an army of yourself to dominate ze world, you'd have to share Marianne viz all of zem," Tarantulas said quickly.

Chobin gasped. "What?! No! This cannot be being! Chobin will share Marianne with nobody but Chobin, by which Chobin doesn't mean Chobin will share Marianne with clones of Chobin—or if Chobin does, no more than maybe three at a time—but only Chobinself, so no other Chobin but Chobin can have Marianne! EveryChobin but Chobin go back to killing Chobinselves!"

"…My brain hurts trying to understand what he just said," Raikou groaned.

"Your brains hurts trying to understand _anything_," Suicune said, causing Raikou to snarl.

Most of the Chobins shrugged and resumed their march to their demise, but a few thought differently. "Why should _you_ be the only Chobin to have Marianne, Chobin?" one clone asked stubbornly.

"Yes, we are _all_ Chobin, surely any one of us Chobins are being bad enough for Marianne, by which this Chobin means good, in a bad way, that is also good while also still being bad?" another asked.

"Because _this_ Chobin is wearing glasses and _you_ Chobins aren't, so you Chobins have to do what the Chobin with glasses, which is this Chobin and not you Chobins who don't have glasses, says! So there! Says Chobin!" Chobin said, sticking out his tongue.

The recalcitrant clones considered this for a moment. "Eh, good enough for this Chobin," one of them said finally.

The others nodded in agreement. "Well, back to killing Chobinselves!" The Sunfloras merrily resumed their dance of death.

"…That made absolutely no sense whatsoever," Oak said, a pained look on his face.

"Yes, vhich is vhy it made perfect sense to ze Chobins," Tarantulas said. "You see, Chobin is insane, and _knows_ he's insane, so vill follow insane and ludicrous logic zat is actually illogic, even vhen he _knows_ it is illogic, because he zinks zat is vhat insane Pokémon do."

"That is absolutely not wrong!" all the Chobins declared.

"Ah," Oak said.

"Ugh. The sooner we're done here, the better. If I have to spend too much longer trying to fathom how Chobin's mind works, I'll go insane," Raikou complained.

"If we have to listen to Viers play 'The Itsy Bitsy Spinarak' like that for much longer, _I'll_ go insane," Suicune complained.

Viers huffed. "Everyone is being critical of Viers' work. Like critics. Who are critical of Viers' work. Because that is what critics do. They critique people. Such as Viers. And Viers' work. Which is my work, because I am Viers, and Viers is me. Of which they are critical."

"Forget Chobin, listening to Viers talk is driving me nuts, too," Entei grumbled.

"So! Samuel…since we're going to be here a vhile longer, vhat say ve catch up?" Tarantulas said.

Oak stared at him incredulously. "…Are you seriously trying to make small talk with me? After destroying the entire city and just about everyone in it, nearly killing my assistant, abducting me, and using my knowledge to begin the process of preparing the Door to the Abyss to be opened?"

Tarantulas would have shrugged if he had shoulders. "Vell, zere isn't exactly anyone else here for me to talk to, and I've got nozing better to do."

"There's lots of people here for you to talk to," Oak pointed out.

Tarantulas snorted. "All of zem are subordinates, and novhere near my level of intellect."

"Hey!" Raikou said.

"Well, he's kind of right," Paul admitted. "In your case, anyway."

"Oh," Raikou said. There was a pause. "Hey!"

"You, on ze ozzer hand, I can have a discussion viz vizout feeling like I'm talking to a complete idiot," Tarantulas continued.

Oak frowned. "And why should I bother to satisfy your whim to chat, after everything you've done? And since you're going to kill me when this horrible plot of yours is at an end?"

"Zat's exactly vhy," Tarantulas said. "You're not going anyvere anytime soon, or ever again, so vhy not spend your last minutes chatting viz someone on your level of intellect? _Especially_ one of your oldest and dearest friends."

"I'd hardly call you a friend, Tarantulas," Oak said coldly. "Not anymore. Not after everything you've done, and are going to do. Not after what you've become."

"Hmm. Yeah, I can see vhy you'd feel zat vay," Tarantulas admitted. "Still, I am in a talkative mood right now, and I'm going to talk, no matter vhat your feelings might be on ze matter."

"Joy," Oak muttered, rolling his eyes.

"So! I've been keeping up viz your exploits in recent years. You've made quite a name for yourself in ze archaeological, Pokémonological, and poetic fields. I'm impressed! Ve alvays knew you'd go far, back at University," Tarantulas said.

"We knew you'd go far, too," Oak said bitterly. "But not in this direction."

"Yeah, vell, neizer did I," Tarantulas admitted. "But…vell, zings don't alvays go ze vay ve plan, do zey? Still, I zink I've made ze best of ze hand fate has dealt me. Better zan I ever would have if I'd stayed ze straight and narrow, I zink."

"…Are you serious?" Oak asked incredulously. "Tomaru, you're a disembodied head strapped to the cranium of a gibbering lunatic. You've lost pretty much your entire original body, you and your cohorts have suffered defeat after defeat at the hands of Team Aurabolt, and the closest thing you have to a friend is the aforementioned gibbering lunatic. You are despised by pretty much everyone on Earth who's heard of you, even those who once cared for you like a brother. And nobody loves you. Well, except for maybe the gibbering lunatic, I guess."

"Chobin can gibber real good!" Chobin declared. "Gibber gibber gibber! Gibber gibber gibber gibber! Gibber gibber! Gibber gabber!"

"That was not a gibber, it was a gabber," Viers commented, glancing up from the keyboard. "Does that make it gabbering, rather than gibbering, since it was a gabber rather than a gibber? Is that a thing?"

"No," Oak said.

"It is being a thing that is being now!" Chobin said. "Gabber gabber gabber! Gabber gabber gabber gabber! Gabber gabber! Gabber gibber!"

As Oak gave Tarantulas a smug look, the disembodied head sweatdropped. "O…kay…you might have a point. A…very, very large point. Zis certainly is not ze pazh I expected my life to take after I gave up my foolish dreams of saving ze vorld and embraced villainy."

"Life rarely goes the way we expect it to," Oak said. Paul frowned thoughtfully at this, and the beasts shifted uncertainly. Viers furrowed his brow briefly while he continued plonking on the keyboard, while Chobin continued happily gibbering and gabbering interchangeably.

"Vell?" Tarantulas asked after a moment.

"Vell—I mean, well what?" Oak asked.

"Aren't you going to ask?" Tarantulas asked.

"Ask what?" Oak asked, perplexed.

"Vhy I did it!" Tarantulas snapped in frustration. "Vhy I gave up my foolish dreams of saving ze vorld and embraced villainy!"

"Oh, that," Oak said.

Tarantulas would have facefaulted if he weren't strapped to Chobin's head. "'Oh, zat?!' Zat's all you can say?!"

Oak shrugged as best he could through his bonds. "What else can I say?"

"More zan zat!" Tarantulas shouted. "Surely you've vondered _vhy_ I did it! You can't mean to tell me zat ze question of why I changed from one of your best friends to ze enemy of ze entire vorld hasn't kept you up at night?!"

Oak thought for a minute. "No, not really."

"NO?!" Tarantulas screamed incredulously.

"There was a time—right after the incident at the University, where I thought you died—where I agonized over it for a while, wondering what had happened to you, what could have possibly changed you into the monster you'd become, how I hadn't noticed it sooner, what I could have done differently, and so on," Oak said. "But after a while, I resigned myself to the knowledge that I'd probably never know—since I thought you were dead and all—and buried myself in more academic pursuits and, as you said, made a name for myself. I moved on."

"But…but after you learned I vas still alive, _surely_ you started to vonder again, didn't you?!" Tarantulas asked desperately.

"Well, not really, since I was more interested in finding a way to _stop_ you than trying to understand why you became the way you did," Oak said. "And besides, I seem to recall you _telling_ me back then why you'd turned to evil: that you found evil wherever you went while traveling the globe, concluded it was the true state of all things, that Arceus wanted us to be this way, how we should all express our darkest desires and embrace evil to be honest to our inner hearts, and all the other rubbish Nietzsche wannabes and straw nihilists have been spouting for centuries. And I also figured that some of the stuff you found in the ruins of the Dark Ones warped your mind; I've heard that the ancient Aura Guardians destroyed as much of the work of those fiends not just because it could lead to the resurgence of Shadow Pokémon and Shadow Aura, but because it was so horrible and evil that just looking at it could drive a Pokémon mad. I've run across things like that in my line of work. Archaeology can be a very dangerous occupation in a world like ours. Why else do you think I'm in such a good shape despite being an academic who's getting on in years?"

"V-vell…zere's more to it zan zat!" Tarantulas stammered. "I only gave you ze bare-bones story back zen because I zought you vere about to die!"

"I don't really care," Oak said.

"Vhat are you talking about?! HOW CAN YOU NOT CARE?!" Tarantulas screamed.

"Like I said before, the reason for why you turned evil seemed less important to me than the evil you were doing," Oak said.

Tarantulas set his jaw. "Vell…ve have more time now, so I'm going to tell you ze whole, unabridged story!"

"Why?" Oak asked. "I already told you, I really don't-"

"_You_ may not, but I'm sure ze ozzers are just _dying_ to hear ze story of how I became evil!" Tarantulas said, looking hopefully at the other Nihilators.

"I don't really care either," Paul said.

"Eh," Raikou said.

"I'd rather take a nap," Suicune said.

"Or eat a few Chobins," Entei said, eyeing some of the clones and licking his lips. The clones squealed eagerly.

"Chobin already knows the story of how the Doctor became the Doctor and met Chobin to whom he told the story of how he became the Doctor," Chobin said.

"I am trying to concentrate on my music! I cannot afford any distractions! Because distractions are not cheap! Especially stories! That are very distracting! And therefore not cheap! Because my salary is not enough to pay for a distraction! Especially stories! That are very distracting! And therefore not cheap!" Viers declared, squinting his eyes to try and make out the notes on his songbook. Said notes were four times as large as they usually were, and the songbook was intended for seven year-olds. It was taking all of the Emboar's focus and concentration to understand what it was saying.

Tarantulas' eye twitched. "Vell…too bad! I've vorked myself up to zis, and I'm going to tell ze story! And _zen_ you'll care, and maybe even see zings my vay!"

"I highly doubt that," Oak said. "I don't suppose you could just torture me instead? That might be marginally more interesting."

"I'd be happy to do it," Paul said, his interest perking up.

"NO! SHUT UP AND LISTEN!" Tarantulas shouted, much to Paul's disappointment. And then he began to tell his tale.

…

Meanwhile, on the surface…

As the heroes had been warned, they faced heavy resistance the instant they appeared in the plaza of the Door. Unfortunately for the Nihilators who'd camped themselves around the evil portal, forty-plus Shadow Pokémon weren't much of a match for Team Aurabolt in their current state. Bothering to write the battle would be a waste of space, since it hardly lasted more than a few minutes. Neither would there be any point in detailing their trek through the half-flooded city streets, cutting down any Nihilator or robot spider that got in their way, and rallying any band of surviving soldiers they ran into while far above them, Lugia took on the Arachnoblast with the help of the handful of remaining flyers and Barbedo's crew mounted on Polly's back. There are far more interesting things to talk about than that.

Such as what happened once Tracey finally led them to the entrance to the tower buried beneath the ancient city. "Here it is," Tracey said as he led the party into one of the many massive buildings making up the fallen metropolis, the soldiers and pirates they'd met along the way remaining outside to guard their backs. They had run into increased Nihilator resistance the closer they got to the structure, making it clearer that this was _not_ a place the Nihilators wanted them near, meaning it was also much more likely they might try to storm the building to come in after them. As always, the heroes were impressed by the size and scale of the construction. Just how big _had_ the former occupants been, anyway? "By analyzing various clues and scriptures scattered around the city, the Professor figured out that the one entrance to the tower was here."

Ash frowned at the large square hole in the center of the cavernous space taking up the building's interior, with a spiral staircase comprised of steps far larger than most Pokémon were used to winding down its sides into depths even his keen eyes were having trouble making out. Some of the seawater that had flooded into the ruins when part of the volcano wall was broken earlier had made it into this room as well, covering the floor in about a millimeter of water, and small streams trickled over the brink into the chasm. "So we can see."

"I'd have thought something like this would be a bit less…obvious," Pikachu said. "I mean, just about anyone could stumble in here and find this."

"Or fall over the edge," Leo commented, peering over the brink of the pit. "Why do they never put railings on these things?"

"This hole wasn't actually here the last time I was in here," Tracey said. "It used to be just a smooth, blank, perfectly normal expanse of floor." He pointed to the back wall, where what looked to be one of the many strange mosaics or carvings that could be found just about everywhere in the city had been smashed open to reveal an incredibly complex mess of circuitry and wires and gears and other machinery and paraphernalia that even Leo had trouble classifying. "The Professor figured out that that thing over there was a puzzle lock keeping the door hidden. He was still working on a way to solve it before all this happened. It was extremely complex, possibly the toughest puzzle he's ever seen…and he's _seen_ a lot of locks given some of the archaeological expeditions he's been on."

Leo whistled as he took in what little of the puzzle remained. "Wow. That thing looked really complicated, from what's left. Even my sunglasses are having trouble analyzing it."

"From what little the Professor could glean from it, it was a mathematically-based puzzle using some kind of shifting algorithm so that the solution changed every few minutes. You wouldn't need to be a genius to solve it, you'd need to be the smartest person in the entire solar system, and even _then_ it might take several hours to figure it out!" Tracey said.

"I could've done it," Briney said. He frowned as he looked at some of the strange symbols covering the remaining pieces of the puzzle. They were very small and very fine and there were a lot of them, and seemed to change shape by the second. His eyes started watering just looking at them. "…Probably."

"Apparently, it wasn't enough to keep Tarantulas out," Pikachu commented.

"Yeah, guess the ancients never considered someone might just smash the thing in…" Tracey said with a nervous laugh.

"Well, there's a _reason_ these people aren't around anymore," Nuken said callously.

"So we haveta go down there?" Tiny asked. "Looks like a loooooooong way down."

"Well, it's a big tower, buried deep underground, and the place Tarantulas is heading to is at its very bottom," Tracey said.

_Which means we must get going as well. He has quite the head start,_ Dawn said.

"I'm not looking forward to having to walk down all those stairs," Leo complained.

"We may not have to," Lily said. She waved her wand over the pit, and suddenly a circular platform of purple energy materialized above it, floating over the chasm.

"Ha! Nice going, babe. This is why magic rules!" Leo whooped.

"This will certainly save us some time," Princess Boa agreed.

"I don't actually need it, since I can fly anyway…but I guess riding the elevator down won't hurt," Briney said gruffly.

"I'm afraid this is where we must part ways," Nuken said apologetically as Team Aurabolt (and Princess Boa) climbed or floated onto the platform. "I am still needed here."

"As am I," Victini said. "Don't worry, though! We'll make sure the Nihilators don't come climbing down after you!"

"Though they'd be stupid to try, considering what you'd do to 'em!" Fat Pete said.

"Dear, they're Nihilators, of _course_ they're stupid," Molly chided him.

"I wish I could do more, but I'm not cut out for this kind of thing, and my knowledge runs out here. The Professor had a better idea of what might be down there than I did," Tracey said sadly.

"Don't worry, Tracey. You've helped us enough already," Pikachu said.

Lily nodded. "Get to safety while you still can."

"Yeah, wouldn't want your girlfriend who is totally absolutely real you swear to be heartbroken 'cause something happened to you," Leo said.

"Don't even joke about that, mon," Tracey muttered.

"Good luck to all of you," the Druddigon said. "From what I've seen of you guys so far, if anyone can stop that bug, it's you eight!"

"We have every intention of doing just that," Princess Boa said.

"Good hunting to you as well, Father," Lily said.

Nuken laughed. "Daughter, I wouldn't call it a hunt so much as a _slaughter._ We shall make these bastards pay a hundredfold for every drop of Draconian blood they've shed."

"And Fichinan!" Victini agreed. "But we don't need to stand here talking about it, you have to get moving! Stop Tarantulas before he can finish whatever crazy scheme he's up to this time!"

"We'll do just that," Ash said tersely, surprising the others. It was the first words he'd spoken since they entered the city. "Come on, guys. Let's go."

Lily exchanged concerned looks with the others before nodding. "Right. Let's go. Into the depths!"

With a last exchange of farewells, Lily's eyes glowed, and the platform descended into the pit, leaving their escorts behind. "Do you think they'll be okay?" Tracey asked, waving goodbye to the heroes as they vanished into the darkness.

"I have no doubt of it," Nuken said. "Ash, though…"

"Yeah…" Victini murmured.

"Huh? What's wrong with Ash?" Tracey asked.

"Nothing you need to concern yourself with," Nuken said curtly.

"Which means it's probably something I _should_ concern myself with," Tracey grumbled.

"Maybe so, but not right now," Victini said.

"Lieutenant, you, Fat Pete, and Molly take a contingent of soldiers and escort Mr. Sketchit from the city, please. This is no place for a civilian," Nuken said to the Druddigon.

"Huh? But I'm a private," said the confused Druddigon.

"Not anymore, you're not," Nuken said, causing the Cave Pokémon's face to light up with joy.

"Wait, you ain't the boss of us! Why should we do what you say?" Fat Pete demanded.

"Because you know better," Nuken said, glaring at him. "Or at least, I _hope _you do."

Fat Pete swallowed and nodded frantically. "Y-yes, sir, I'm supposing I do."

Nuken nodded. "Good. I'm glad that's settled."

As the Shedinja floated away with Victini, Tracey sidled up to the skeleton and commented, "Pretty intense guy, isn't he?"

"And here I thought Acting Cap'n Barbedo was the only bloke who could make my bones jitter like that," Fat Pete said, trembling, his bones knocking against each other rather loudly.

Molly shook her head slowly. "What a strange and wondrous world we've found ourselves in, eh, Petey?"

"Well, look at it this way, Molly: at least it ain't boring," Pete said with a grin.

Molly chuckled and brushed her wingtips against her husband's skull affectionately. "A pirate's unlife, that's for us, eh, Petey boy?"

"And to think I was _satisfied_ living on a resort in the middle of nowhere for almost two thousand years! Huh. I didn't know what I was missing," Pete said fondly.

"It's almost enough to make you want to go back to the ol' days of pillage and plunder, wot?" Molly said.

"Yeah," Pete said wistfully. "Er, almost," he quickly amended when he saw the alarmed looks Tracey and the Druddigon were giving him.

The newly minted lieutenant shook his head. "You can reminisce about the 'good old days' later. Right now, we have a civilian to escort to safety."

Fat Pete sighed as they headed for the exit. "Great, we have to walk all the way out of the city. Again."

"Look on the bright side, Petey, at least ye're getting some exercise," Molly said.

"I don't _need_ exercise, I'm a skeleton," Pete groused. "I'm not the one who gets transported everywhere free of charge. Methinks _ye_ need to lose some weight, Molly. Ye're getting a little pudgy around the ribcage there."

"Why you!" Enraged, Molly started pecking Pete's skull, causing him to yelp and frantically try to swat her off.

Tracey and the Druddigon sweatdropped. "This is why I'm glad I'm not married…" the Dragon murmured.

"I've never met my girlfriend in real life…I hope she doesn't hit me like that," Tracey said nervously. "I'm very fragile, after all."

The Druddigon frowned. "Aren't you a Smeargle? Can't you use that Sketch power of yours to learn powerful moves to defend yourself?"

"I was never a very good artist," Tracey confessed. "Why do you think I'm working for an _archaeology _Professor rather than pursuing a degree in Art?"

While Tracey lamented his lack of talent, Team Aurabolt (and Princess Boa) descended the staircase leading to the tower. The air was a little tense; all of them could tell that _something_ was wrong with Ash, but none of them were quite sure how to broach the subject. Tiny, who couldn't help but feel that this was his fault—which it was—timidly hovered on the far side of the platform, too ashamed to face his father. The residual feelings of bitterness he could feel through their bond were not so easily ignored.

Eventually, Pikachu decided if someone were to do something, it might as well be him. "Um, Ash?"

Ash sighed and closed his eyes. "No, Pikachu, I'm not feeling all right at the moment."

Pikachu blinked. He hadn't even asked the question. Then again, it had been kind of obvious, hadn't it? "Is…there anything we can do?"

Ash shook his head. "I…don't really want to talk about it right now."

"Ash, Lugia told you you need to be more open about your feelings-" Lily started.

"I know that, but now isn't exactly the best of times to get into it," Ash said. "And yes, I'm aware that keeping this to myself may negatively affect my emotions, which will have a bad influence on my Aura, but we _really_ don't have time to talk about this right now. Later, sure. But not right now. If we try and deal with this now, none of us will be in the right state of mind to help the Professor."

"Whereas if you keep it to yourself, all of us but _you_ will be in the right state of mind," Boa pointed out.

"Better one person be messed-up than eight," Ash said.

"More like two…" Tiny murmured to himself. Ash grimaced but said nothing. The others exchanged uncomfortable looks, not sure what to do.

"Tiny's not the only one who's losing faith in you, you know," Misty commented. She didn't sound like she was just enjoying this fact, oddly enough. "All of them thought that, even if your training wasn't going well, that you had a handle on things. What happened in the Council Chamber dissuaded them of that notion."

"I know," Ash said.

"They still care about you and believe you can overcome this…but doubt is starting to sink in, as well as the reality of the situation," Misty said.

"I know," Ash said.

"They know that they might have to kill you after all," Misty said.

"I know," Ash said.

"Doesn't that bother you at all?" Misty asked.

"A little," Ash said quietly. "But I don't blame them, really. I'm not sure I believe in myself anymore either." Misty bit her lip but said nothing.

"Leo," Briney muttered to the Squirtle.

"Huh? What is it?" Leo asked in puzzlement.

"Say something inspiring. You know what would work best in this situation," Briney said.

Leo thought about that for a moment. Under his shades, his eyes lit up. He _did_ know what would work best, just as Briney knew he would. "Hey, Ash?"

"Yeah?" the Lucario asked, glancing at him.

"Right now you're feeling pretty down on yourself, right?" Leo asked.

"…Yeah, pretty much," Ash admitted.

Leo nodded. "You're not sure you believe in yourself anymore."

"Not really," Ash confessed.

"Do you believe in us?" Leo asked.

Ash blinked and looked at Leo in surprise. "Huh? Of course I do. What kind of question is that?"

"Well, _we_ believe in you, Ash, even if you don't believe in yourself," Leo said. "And if you believe in us, and _we_ believe in you, then just believe in the us who believes in you!"

Ash gave Leo a startled look…and then his face hardened. "Seriously, Leo?"

Leo blinked. "Huh?"

"At a time like this, you're _still_ trying to joke around and act like this is just a game or one of your TV shows? Did you even _see_ what was going on outside?!" Ash snapped, his Aura flaring up a little. "People are DEAD, Leo. An entire town wiped off the face of the map, and not for the first time, either! And more people are going to die if we don't stop Tarantulas. And despite all that, you're _still_ treating this like this is one of your stupid stories! After all the crap that we've been through, especially just now, how can you act like this is all going to turn out okay?!" _For me,_ went unspoken, but everyone knew he was thinking it. He wasn't the only one.

"Ash, that's uncalled for-" Pikachu started, although a part of him couldn't help agreeing with his brother.

"No, Pikachu. It's _not_ uncalled for," Leo said, suddenly very serious. He took off his sunglasses for a moment. Under them were various slits in his mask for his eyes, but Ash could still tell that the Squirtle was staring piercingly at him even though he couldn't completely see his eyes. "Ash brings up a good question. How _can_ I treat this like a game, in the face of everything that's happened? How can I keep acting like things are going to be okay despite all the shit we've seen?

"Do you really think I'm that dense? That I don't realize that actual lives are on the line here? I've been part of this adventure from practically the beginning. I've seen people lose their homes and lives even before I joined this team, or did you forget that my town was practically ruled by a ravenous dragon for several years?" Ash flinched, realizing that he had, in fact, forgotten this. "Do I treat this adventure of ours like a story? Certainly I do. But not all stories are nice and light and fluffy tales of happy people. I'm well aware that ours isn't. Stories can sometimes go to very dark places. So dark that sometimes it doesn't seem like there's any light at the end of the tunnel.

"But Ash…just because things get really bad along the way doesn't mean there can't be a happy ending. Heck, in any good epic adventure tale, it's almost guaranteed that things will go Pinap-shaped close to the end. But that just makes the inevitable payoff that much sweeter…assuming the author actually knows what they're doing and doesn't pull off some disappointing anticlimax, or even worse, whip out a Diablous Ex Machina to screw everyone over for no real reason."

"Leo…" Lily warned him.

"Right, right, rambling," Leo said. "The point is, Ash…do I treat this like it's a story? Yes, I do. Because _life_ is a story, and _definitely_ not a stupid one. And there's no reason it can't have a happy ending if you work for it. After all, the best stories are the ones where the characters have to _earn_ their happy ending, and I honestly think we're on our way there, after everything we've been through. All of us are."

Ash stared at Leo wonderingly. He wasn't the only one. "…You…you really think there's a happy ending? For all of us?" the Lucario asked softly.

"Hell yes. I have to," Leo said. "Because otherwise, we might as well just give up now and let the Nihilators win."

"…Thank you, Leo," Ash said finally, a strange look in his eyes. "You've…given me a lot to think about."

"Then my work here is done," Leo said.

"Where did _that_ come from?" asked an amazed Pikachu as Ash turned away, lost in thought.

"It's something I've been working on in my head for a while, just in case one of you finally snapped from all my antics and asked me that question," Leo said, putting his sunglasses back on. Briney smirked to himself. He'd known there was a reason Leo was the perfect person to, if not snap Ash out of his funk, at least get him thinking in a different direction.

Dawn shook her head in bemusement. _Only you, Leo._

"And I wouldn't have it any other way," Lily said, kissing Leo's cheek, heating up his armor once again.

"…You know Leo, sometimes I forget that underneath all that…weirdness and trivia cluttering about your head you're actually a very intelligent and even mature guy," Pikachu said.

"Thanks, mon," Leo said.

There was a pause. "You aren't going to say something that makes me feel like taking it back?" Pikachu asked.

"No," Leo said.

"Oh." There was another awkward pause. "Okay, then," Pikachu said reluctantly.

"You are quite the interesting group," Boa said, bemused.

"You don't know the half of it," Briney said.

Somewhat hesitantly, Tiny approached his father. The Lucario, deep in thought, blinked when he felt his presence, and then gave a slight nod. Looking relieved, Tiny leaned against his parent's side. A small smile formed on Ash's face.

"They still have doubts, you know," Misty pointed out. "Leo's pep talk isn't enough to make it all go away."

"I know," Ash said. "And I still have my doubts, too."

"But?" the figment asked.

"But…that doesn't mean I have to let them control my future," Ash said. "And if Leo really thinks we can pull through in the end, then I want to believe him. He's almost always been right about stuff like this in the past."

"…I hope that decision doesn't prove to be the wrong one," Misty said.

Ash smiled. "Somehow, I don't think it is." Misty looked away, and even though Ash couldn't see it, he was certain she was trying to suppress a smile of her own. _And if there's hope for me…maybe there's hope for you, too._

They continued into the depths, but the tension was broken, and a renewed sense of determination and optimism filled the air. They would find Tarantulas, stop him, and save Professor Oak. No other option was possible. To consider otherwise was unthinkable.

Only time would tell, though, if they were right in this assessment or not…

…

Meanwhile, much, much, _much_ further down…

"Once upon a time, many years ago in a distant land, I vas born," Tarantulas said as one of his robot spiders played a tiny violin, much to Viers' annoyance, since it made it harder for him to concentrate on his organ playing. "Everyzing vent downhill from zere.

"I vas born in ze vild among a modest zree zousand or so siblings. I had a number of birz defects, including a few missing legs, so understandably my mozzer decided to eat me. I managed to escape and make it to civilization, vere I vas taken in by a couple of Stoutlands who vere professional dog show competitors. Unfortunately, life in zeir household vas little more pleasant zan living in ze vild due to ze fact zat I vasn't a canine Pokémon, because I vas unlucky enough to be born in ze backvater country of Droolselstein so vas unable to gain access to ze modern medicine zat could have cured my condition since ze people zere are _very_ superstitious and vere convinced medical practitioners like Nurse Joy are all vitches vhich is vhy I had to get mechanical parts installed to replace most of my body later in life, and because zey vere completely insane. More insane zan me, I mean."

"But not more insane than Chobin is being insane!" Chobin said.

Tarantulas shuddered. "No, zank goodness for zat much, at least. Still, zey vere far from ze best parents, and so I had a pretty lousy childhood. If I vere to tell you _how_ lousy it vas, it vould take all day, but highlights include being forced to take ze place of ze family lawn gnome after it vas repossessed, ze inventions I made for ze school science fair alvays lost to baking soda volcanos, my mozzer never let me svim, I had to vear hand-me-up girls' clozzing, my mozzer loved my brozzer more zan me, my only friend vas a painted balloon who flew away because I was a lawn gnome at ze time so couldn't chase after him, an artistic masterpiece I once made vas destroyed by my idiot brozzer whom everyone loved more zan me for some reason, my girlfriend left me for a Vailord, and I vas briefly raised by vild Liepards. Yes, all of zat happened, I'm not making zis shit up."

"…I know it did. You told me about it and many, many other sordid tales of your childhood when we were roommates," Oak said. "Plus, you took me home to meet your parents during holiday break one time."

"Oh. Right," Tarantulas said. "Forgot about zat."

"You really don't have to tell me all this, you know, I already know most of it-" Oak started.

"Eventually I managed to vin a scholarship to Pokémon University by getting 'Miss Congeniality' in my village's annual ugly contest. Don't ask," Tarantulas said sourly. "So I vas finally able to leave Droolselstein and go to someplace _actually_ civilized: college."

"College? Civilized? Since when?" Paul asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Have you ever even been to college?" Entei asked skeptically.

"Yes, I thought you were raised all your life in a ninja fortress," Suicune said.

"I was," Paul said. "And it was very disciplined. For the most part. I've spied on colleges, though. I'd hardly call _them_ bastions of civilization."

"Trust me, compared to Droolselstein zey vere," Tarantulas said.

Oak nodded. "He's right, it was. I've been to Droolselstein. They thought I was a witch and tried to burn me at the stake because I was Psychic."

"How'd you survive?" Raikou asked.

"I'm a Water-type," Oak pointed out.

"Oh, yeah," Raikou said.

"Of course, zat gave zem even _more_ proof zat you vere a vitch," Tarantulas said. "Boy, vas _zat_ awkvard…anyvay, at college I met ze mons who vould become my best friends, even better friends zan my balloon, because zey could actually talk back: Emile Kaminko, and you, Samuel."

"And to repay us for our friendship, you and Chobin killed Kaminko, tried to kill me, and intend to kill me now," Oak said.

"Yeah, zat is pretty ungrateful behavior towards ze guys who befriended me, gave me my first set of mechanical body parts, and helped pay ze rent on our dorm, isn't it?" Tarantulas admitted. "But hey, evil. Vhat do you expect."

"You weren't _always_ evil," Oak said. "You certainly weren't back then."

Tarantulas grimaced. "No. No, I vasn't. Back zen, after you and Kaminko befriended me by installing ze mechanical parts zat alleviated some of ze pain zat vas afflicting me since birzh, you svept me up in your talk of changing ze vorld…and I abandoned my original plans of taking over ze town my stupid brozzer had become Mayor of and deciding to use my genius for ze betterment of Pokémonkind."

"Something you seem to have forgotten _completely_ about in the present," Oak said.

"After I graduated, I found out ze Pokémon of ze vorld didn't _deserve_ to be bettered," Tarantulas snarled. "But I am getting ahead of myself. Vhile all of us vanted to change ze vorld, ve each sought to do it in different vays. Samuel, you focused on archaeology and Pokémonology because you believed zat by understanding ze past, ze bond ve once shared viz humans, and how modern society vorks you could find a way to improve ze future."

"Yes, Tomaru, I know. I was there," Oak said dryly.

Tarantulas ignored him. "Emile, on ze ozzer hand, vas more interested in ze sciences, especially anyzing involving machines, vhich is how he knew how to build my first set of proszetics. He vanted to make ze vorld a better place zrough ze power of technology."

"And look where that got him," Entei said.

"Dead! Dead! Dead! Dead! Dead!" all the Chobins chanted.

"And FUCKED!" the glasses-wearing Chobin guffawed. Oak ground his teeth.

"As for me…I studied Pokémonology, sociology, psychology, zeology, cybernetics, and a bunch of ozzer stuff," Tarantulas said. "Fate had dealt me a pretty crummy hand at birz, and I vanted to know vhy. Vhy Arceus had done zis to me. Vhy He allowed zings like zis to happen to people all over ze vorld. Vhy zey had to suffer, and vhy so many of zem chose to do horrible zings to each ozzer. I hoped zat by understanding vhy people do such terrible zings, and vhy Arceus lets it happen, I could find ze source of evil—or at least, its potential vizin ze Pokémon heart—and remove it, and in doing so eliminate all hatred and cruelty and evil in ze vorld forever!"

"And instead, you help to spread it and make the world a worse place than it was when you came into it," Oak said in disgust. "How far you have fallen, Tomaru."

"…People change, Samuel. Some more zan ozzers," Tarantulas said quietly. "After graduating, ve made a vow to make our vay in ze vorld and do our best to put vat ve had learned in college to good use to change ze vorld, and in tventy years, come back to ze University to teach vat ve had learned to ze next generation. Each of us set off in high hopes, certain zat ve vould save ze vorld in our own vay.

"If I had known zen vat I do now, I might have just given up and taken over zat town of my brozzer's after all…"

…

Meanwhile, several levels above them…

As soon as Team Aurabolt entered the tower, they found themselves pitted against a variety of traps and monsters and puzzles left behind by the architects. Many had already been disabled or destroyed by Tarantulas in his passage, but others were still active, and it took every ounce of their skill and ability to survive. Even Ash and Pikachu, veteran dungeon crawlers, found themselves having to constantly stay at the top of their game to withstand everything this ancient citadel could throw at them.

So it was a welcome respite for the heroes when they entered a chamber after a harrowing battle against approximately fifty golems that were part vegetable, part animal, and part mineral, while dodging flaming spiked logs swinging from the ceiling, fire jets erupting from the floor, and spiked walls that were closing in while giant saw blades and conveyor belts crisscrossed across the floor and threatened to drag them into massive spiked rollers and found nothing ominous waiting for them except a large square carpet with a Kecleon sitting on it, surrounded by an assortment of Potions, Orbs, food, TMs, and other items. So why did Ash and Pikachu look very tense and worried, albeit unsurprised to see this Pokémon?

"Ah, welcome!" the Kecleon said, looking up from his place on the carpet. "I've been expecting you, travelers! Welcome to the Seal Tower branch of the Kecleon Brothers' Shop! Come, peruse my fine wares! I'm sure I have something here among my merchandise that will be of use to you on your travels…" A grave expression formed on his face. "But be warned, any attempt at theft will _not_ be taken lightly, and those who try to steal from me will have to deal with the consequences. Very, _very_ serious consequences." He abruptly got cheerful again. "Today all Totter Orbs are half-off, so if you're feeling like confusing your enemies, I strongly suggest you take advantage of this bargain while it lasts!"

"…What the heck?" asked a confused Tiny.

"That's a Kecleon Shop," Ash explained to the Pupitar. "They sell items to travelers, adventurers, and Rescue Teams."

Pikachu nodded. "Back home, the Kecleon Brothers set up shop in town, in the wild, and in dungeons so they'll always be available to anyone who might need them."

_But…how did he get down here?_ Dawn asked in confusion.

"I took the stairs, same as you, naturally," the Kecleon said.

"…But…the entrance to this place can't have been open for much more than an hour!" Princess Boa said in astonishment. "How did you get here so fast?!"

"Trade secret," the Kecleon said with a wink.

"Is how you got past all the traps and monsters we just went through a trade secret, too?" Lily asked.

"Yep! And don't even _think_ of trying to read my mind, Captain Briney, or I'll have to consider you a thief…and you wouldn't want that, now would you?" the Kecleon asked with a smile.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to read your mind. I learned my lesson after the last time I visited one of your stores," Briney said with a shudder.

The rest of the group exchanged horrified looks. "If even _Briney's _willing not to read his mind…he must be very powerful," Lily said in concern.

Leo nodded. "It's never a good idea to anger shopkeepers, trust me on this."

"So, care to sample my stock?" the Kecleon asked cheerfully.

Ash and Pikachu exchanged glances. "Well…we're kind of in a hurry, but we're here, so I guess it couldn't hurt to take a look," Ash said.

Pikachu nodded. "You never know, we might find something useful."

"Okay guys, we're taking a quick shopping break," Ash announced. "If you want anything, you have five minutes to find it, and then we have to continue on our way."

"If you see something you like, pick it up and take it to the Kecleon," Pikachu said. "Do not, under _any_ circumstances, take it off the carpet. You'll regret it. Trust me on this."

"So…we aren't going to question the fact that there happened to be a shop waiting for us in a dungeon that's been sealed off for countless eons that could only be accessed by passing through a veritable gauntlet of horrors, making almost any form of patronage impossible?" Princess Boa asked as they stepped onto the carpet to look at the items.

"Nope," Ash said as he examined a Foe-Seal Orb. That could come in handy…

"Ah," the Serperior said, sweatdropping.

Leo snorted as he pondered whether or not buying a Brick Break TM would be of any use. He was already strong enough to smash things with his Masked Rider powers, di d he need to learn a move that did the same thing? "And yet whenever _I_ come up with something equally implausible, you say it's ridiculous? Psh, hypocrites."

They spent the next few minutes looking at the Kecleon's merchandise. The merchant had a number of rare and powerful items that were hard to find in most stores, and even Leo got excited when he saw an Everyone's Invincible Orb, claiming that those were almost impossible to get online.

Unfortunately, it did not take long for disaster to strike. Tiny, while perusing the available Orbs, noticed one that had a pattern resembling a large net covering its surface. _Hmm. Is it some kind of trap? Like, a Net Orb?_ He wondered to himself. He looked around the Orb, but didn't see a label that told what it did. He turned around to ask the Kecleon what it was…

And in doing so, accidentally bumped into the Orb with the bottom of his shell, knocking the Orb off the small stand it was placing on…and in so doing, sealed his fate, for the Orb was not, in fact, a Net Orb—such things did not exist—but a Trawl Orb, which automatically draw all items on a dungeon's floor to the user upon activation. The Orb hit the carpet and shattered, activating instantly. Suddenly, every item on the carpet lifted into the air and shot towards Tiny, causing him to wail in alarm as he suddenly found himself buried under a veritable mountain of merchandise. Several other items and treasure chests, attracted by the inexorable pull of the Trawl Orb, flew through the doors or smashed through the walls, adding to the pile covering the young Pupitar.

Everyone gasped, though not necessarily for the same reasons. "TINY!" everyone of Team Aurabolt cried.

"MY MERCHANDISE!" the Kecleon shouted, turning red. Literally. His species can change colors, after all.

"Oh no," Pikachu whispered, face turning ashen. "Don't tell me he activated a Trawl Orb!"

_Why, what does it mean if he activated a Trawl Orb?_ Dawn asked.

"Very, very bad things," Briney said ominously.

Ash paled, realizing the danger they were all in. "Mr. Kecleon, don't worry, I promise we can pay for everything! It was just an accident!"

Princess Boa nodded. "I am the Crown Princess of Fichina, money is no object."

"Money? MONEY?! You think money matters at a time like this?!" the Kecleon shrieked as a dazed Tiny pulled himself out of the very large pile of items. "According to the Kecleon Shop International Code of Customer Conduct, any Pokémon who uses a Trawl Orb within the vicinity of a Kecleon Shop, no matter _how_ deep their pockets, is automatically labeled a thief and must suffer the consequences! And since your boy there just used a Trawl Orb, do you know what that means?!"

"…That…he's a thief?" Lily asked timidly.

"AND MUST SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES!" the Kecleon shrieked.

"Wait, then why do you even _have_ Trawl Orbs for sale in the first place if using them around you gets you labeled a thief?!" Leo protested. "That's total Schmuck Bait, mon!"

"Weapons stores sell weapons even though there's nothing stopping clients from using them against the salesmon," the Kecleon pointed out. "It's expected for customers to refrain from doing that, though, least of all because it makes future purchases virtually impossible. Why should it be any different for my place of business?"

"Ah. Point," Leo admitted.

"But since you have broken the unspoken bond of trust between customer and salesPokémon, you must be punished!" the Kecleon said, whistling sharply.

Without warning, several dozen heavily armed and armored Kecleon appeared from out of nowhere. "What the…where did they come from?!" Lily stammered.

"Were they in hiding all this time, just waiting for someone to make a wrong move?" Boa suggested.

"No, I've never been able to sense any Kecleon around prior to an accidental theft. They just…appear," Ash said vaguely.

"Another trade secret, we assume," Pikachu said.

"And you say the world _doesn't_ work like a video game with crazy shopkeepers like that?" Leo snorted.

"I'm sorry, Daddy…it was an accident," Tiny said weakly.

"It's all right, Tiny. This isn't the first time I've accidentally pissed off a Kecleon shopkeeper. All we have to do is get to the exit to the next level, and they have to let us go. It's part of their code," Ash assured his son.

"That it is," the Kecleon still seated on the carpet said. "But you'll have to fight through all of us first!"

"Psh, should be a piece of cake, they're only…" Leo's face paled under his mask at the data he got on the sunglasses. "Level 100…each…with ridiculously high stats and twice the speed of a normal Kecleon…and all sorts of rare and powerful gear…"

"We only have the best security to guard against thieves!" the shopkeeper said smugly.

"I suppose saying it was an accident and apologizing isn't enough?" Princess Boa asked.

"Nope!" the shopkeeper said.

She sighed. "Figures…"

"The only way to get out of this mess is to fight our way to the exit," Pikachu said, raising his sword.

"Be careful, everyone, this may be one of the toughest fights we've ever been in," Ash said, brandishing his staff.

"…Considering all the other fights we've been in, I really, really hope you're exaggerating," Lily said nervously.

"He's not," Briney said, face pale. "He's really not."

"GET THEM!" the shopkeeper yelled. The Kecleons howled battle cries and launched themselves at the heroes, beginning one of the most frantic and harrowing battles of their lives…

Which will not be shown so we can do more Tarantulas backstory. Enjoy!

…

Back in the sacrifice chamber…

"So I vent out into ze vorld, viz little more but ze clozes on my back and some spare parts Kaminko had made for me, zough by zat point I vas more zan capable of building my own if need be. I decided ze first place to start my journey vould be in ze distant norz, to pay tribute to the Law Rock. After all, if I vere trying to comprehend Arceus' will, vhat better place to begin zan zere?" Tarantulas continued. Chobin had been given a leg ripped off of one of his clones to gnaw on so he wouldn't interrupt by saying something stupid. "It vas a life-changing experience at ze time…and very, very cold. Seriously, vhy vas ze damn zing even up zere? Couldn't He have put it somevere more accessible? If He had, maybe ze vorld vould be a very different place, and I vould not have made ze choices I did."

"Actually, studies show it _used_ to be much further south, but continental drift, along with a series of catastrophes, resulted in its resting place shifting northwards," Oak said.

"Nobody asked you," Tarantulas snapped. "Vhen I reached ze Rock, after days of vandering zrough ze icy vilderness, I vas so struck viz awe I didn't move for a full tventy minutes. Vhich almost killed me, again due to ze cold. Is it any vonder so many Arcean priests are Ghosts considering how many pilgrims DIE up zere? I mean, vat, zey couldn't set up a town nearby or change ze weazer so it vould be varmer or somezing?"

"Actually, that idea has been bantered about for centuries, but building a town up there is impractical due to the location, climate, and difficulties in getting supplies and food up there, and raising the temperatures enough to make the region more livable for non-Ice types could cause the surrounding ice to melt and raise water levels worldwide, resulting in massive flooding-" Oak started.

"SHUT UP! I know zat already, okay?! I vas just ranting! Jeez!" Tarantulas shouted.

Oak rolled his eyes. "All right, all right. So, you saw the Rock."

"Yes, and it changed my life," Tarantulas said wistfully, staring off into the distance. "All my doubts and concerns faded avay, and I became convinced zat, even if I did not understand ze reasons for Arceus' actions, zey vere for a good purpose, and it vould all vork out in ze end." He snorted. "Of course, now I know zat's because ze Rock puts out some kind of brainvashing energy to convince people zat Arceus is good and great, but I didn't know zat at ze time, so my naïve younger self had his faizh renewed. Ze poor, poor fool." There was a pause. Tarantulas frowned at Oak. "Vhat, you're not going to say somezing about how it's not brainvashing?"

Oak blinked. "Hmm? Oh, sorry, I thought I wasn't supposed to be interrupting. However, if you want my opinion, there _are_ some studies that show-"

"I DON'T CARE," Tarantulas yelled. "Moving on! Viz my faizh in Arceus rekindled, I decided to start my quest to understand ze nature of evil and fazom Arceus' will in ze holy city of Yeshua, center of ze Arcean Order. Ze Order are said to be ze Pokémon closest to comprehending Arceus' mind, and I felt certain zat if I could find any answers, zey vould be zere." Tarantulas frowned. "I found answers, all right, but not vat I expected.

"Most of it vas ze same diatribe zey feed us at temple. Zat Arceus is omnibenevolent, omniscient, and omnipotent, zat He has countless Guardians and gods and heroes to fight evil in His name zroughout ze Omniverse, zat all zings happen according to His grand and ineffable design, and so on. Nobody had a very good answer as to vhy, if Arceus is omnibenevolent, and all zings happen according to His vill, evil exists. Zere vere a variety of zheories and ideas, most of vhich conflicted and none of vhich vere satisfactory. Ze most prevalent one, next to it being part of Arceus' plan and ve veren't ready to understand it—which as you and I bozh know, Samuel, is just so much zeosophical garbage—vas zat tired old 'free vill' excuse. Except zat doesn't make sense eizer, because if everyzing happens according to Arceus' vill, zen zat means everyzing zat happens to us is predestined, meaning our choices don't matter, because choice is just an illusion, so ultimately nozing ve do really matters. And because parallel universes might sometimes spin off for every choice ve don't make or somezing, I vas never able to get a clear answer on vhezher or not zat's ze case for our universe or not. I don't _zink_ ve have parallels like zat, but I could be wrong, but eizer vay zat still doesn't detract from my whole point about predestination. Venever I tried to debate zis or receive clarification from ze members of ze Order, zough, zey eizer got uncomfortable, said zat vas an interesting but razzer depressing idea, called me a blasphemer for even suggesting somezing like zat, or frankly admitted zey didn't know ze answer eizer, which in many vays seemed to me to be ze vorst zing zey could say: for if even Arceus' most devoted servants had no clue vhy He did zings ze vay He did and allowed evil to exist, vhat hope did I have? And vhat did it say about Arceus, zat He vas so inscrutable zat He doesn't even bozzer explaining Himself to his followers? Zis, along viz anozzer few zings, slowly made me zink ze unsinkable: zat perhaps Arceus was a charlatan and not as powerful as He pretends to be."

Oak raised an eyebrow skeptically. "And what would those 'zings' be?"

"First of all, zere's ze Ruler of Evil. No matter how powerful it is, I don't really understand why Arceus couldn't just smash it the instant it vas clear how dangerous it vas to ze Omniverse. Yes, I know, zere's ze whole 'Poké in ze grass' metaphorical explanation for vhy he didn't, but I don't buy it, if Arceus is REALLY omnipotent zat shouldn't have been a problem. If Arceus had just done somezing about ze Ruler of Evil Himself, zen ze Crisis Vars vouldn't have gotten as bad as zey did, but for vatever reason, He didn't! He barely did a single damn zing during ze entire mess aside from give orders and sit back and let ozzers fight for Him, like a coward! And aside from zat, zere's ze concept of Hell Year. It is said zat every now and zen Arceus needs to go into a period of hibernation to replenish His power, and vizout his vill actively suppressing it, evil grows zat much stronger. Ze uncomfortable implications zat Arceus' mind is forcing people not to become evil aside, zis begs ze question: if Arceus is _really_ omnipotent, zen vhy does He need to go to sleep to replenish His strengzh in ze first place?! If He's omnipotent, He doesn't _need_ rest, and has infinite power, so doesn't need to replenish it! Zerefore, He's eizer _not_ all-powerful, or He's intentionally making zings harder for everyone in ze Omniverse, _including_ his servants, again vizout telling zem vhy!" Tarantulas ranted.

Entei nodded. "Yeah, we never understood why He does any of those things, either."

"Sometimes I figured it was just an excuse for him to take a break from running the Omniverse and have a good long nap," Suicune said.

"I like taking naps," Raikou said.

"So does Chobin! Especially when Chobin is doing it inside of someone whom Chobin has scooped the intestines out of so Chobin can snuggle inside their corpse like a sleeping bag!" Chobin said.

"…Yeah, I don't do that," Raikou said in disgust.

"You see, Samuel? He keeps his own subordinates, ze divine beings, in ze dark about His actions! Does zat sound like ze behavior of a truly benevolent being to you?!" Tarantulas demanded.

Oak shrugged. "I admit it doesn't. However, nowhere is it written that a leader always needs to explain himself to those beneath him, so there's no reason Arceus has to, either."

"He should because zen ve vouldn't alvays be trying to figure out vat ze Abyss he _vants_ from us!" Tarantulas pointed out. "To his lieutenants, if nobody else! But zey don't know, eizzer! _Nobody_ knows!"

"And?" Oak asked.

"And _vhat?_" Tarantulas asked.

"And what of it? These are arguments I've heard before against Arceus, Tomaru. You aren't the first to think these thoughts or say these things. Do I have an answer? No, not really," Oak admitted. "But I don't need to counter your arguments, though there's probably plenty of things I could pull from philosophy and history to refute your statements. You've clearly made up your mind, and I can't change it, nor do I see the point in it. Similarly, I've already made up _my_ mind, and I choose to believe in Arceus, no matter what you say. This is in no small part because I've managed to live a pretty decent life while keeping my faith and staying true to His principles…while your lack of it, Tarantulas, is at least partly responsible for your current situation."

Tarantulas rolled his eyes. "Oh please, I zought you of all people, Samuel, vould know better zan to call azeism evil."

"You're right, I _do_ know better," Oak said. "However, I've done my best to embrace Arceus' Laws and have lived a good life. You turned your back on them. Can you honestly say that _you've_ lived a good life, Tomaru?"

"I…zat…ze two zings are completely unrelated!" Tarantulas stammered. "Zere's lots of people who reject Arceus and live good lives, and plenty of people who embrace Him but live shitty lives!"

"Yes, Tomaru, but we aren't those people, are we?" Oak pointed out. "And most of those people don't try to outright _dethrone_ Arceus or defy Him in the way you're trying to. Can you really be certain there's not a correlation between your defiance and your current state?"

"Correlation does not equal causation, Samuel," Tarantulas huffed. "And besides, if you'll recall, I vas in a pretty crummy state back vhen I believed in Arceus, too."

"Yes, and you still had a body, most of which was still organic, friends, and a bright future," Oak retorted. "Whereas now you're pretty much just a head and absolutely everyone despises you. How's that working out for you?"

"I…y-you…gaaaaaahhhh!" Tarantulas shouted in frustration.

"I'm sorry, I don't understand angrish," Oak said smugly.

"Whoa, the Professor's really pissing off the Doc," Raikou said, impressed.

"Hilarious, isn't it?" Suicune asked with a smirk.

"I know _I'm_ loving this," Paul said in amusement.

After several seconds of gibbering and gnashing his mandibles, Tarantulas managed to regain some control over his temper and continued talking as if the previous argument had not occurred. "As zese treasonous zoughts began to filter zrough my head, I started noticing zings about ze priests and clergy, zings I had not noticed before. Namely, zat zey veren't quite as pure or holy as zey vould like us to believe. Okay, I'll admit zat _most_ of zem really are decent and saintly people…for some reason. Ugh. Ozzers, however, vere corrupt as zey come—not anybody in high positions, admittedly, but still-and zis, along viz my growing doubts in Arceus, disheartened me, for if evil could exist even among the holiest places and Pokémon on Earth, vhat hope could there be of removing it completely? And if Arceus allowed evil to exist among zose most devoted to Him…vhat kind of a master vas He, really?

"Dissatisfied viz ze Arcean Order, I traveled to religious sites and centers around ze vorld, hoping zat zey might have some answer or understanding zat I'd missed in Yeshua, somezing zat might renew my faizh. I researched philosophy and spoke to a variety of sages, in hopes zat zeir wisdom might hold some solution. I even tracked down and interviewed a few legendaries, hoping zat as servants of Arceus, zey might better fazom His vill. And vhile many of zem gave me lots of very deep and insightful answers, reading betveen ze lines I slowly began to realize zat absolutely none of zem really understood vhy ze vorld vas ze vay it vas eizer."

"Did you interview us?" Entei asked.

"I don't think I remember seeing a guy like him…" Suicune murmured.

"Ah, no, I vas never able to pin you down," Tarantulas said quickly.

"Oh, that makes sense," Raikou said. "We _do_ travel a lot, and we're pretty quick. Wouldn't have been easy for a crippled Ariados like you to catch up to us anyway."

"Yes, yes, of course," Tarantulas said. Entei frowned. He wasn't sure why, but something was nagging him at the back of his mind. He was almost certain he'd encountered a cyborg Spinarak at some point in the past who'd asked him all sorts of theological questions…but the first time he'd ever encountered Tarantulas was when they were first inducted into the Nihilators, wasn't it? That was the only time he could ever remember seeing the mad scientist before.

So why was something telling him that wasn't the case?

"Disillusioned, I decided to give up on trying to understand Arceus, concluding zat vhatever big plan He had for creation, I vasn't sure I vanted a part of it. I'd vasted enough time trying to figure out vhy He allowed evil to exist, it was time I actually tackled my original objective: finding a vay to rid ze vorld of evil forever. Because if Arceus and His Guardians vere, for vhatever reason, unvilling to completely eradicate it, zen maybe it vas up to a mortal to succeed vere zey had failed," Tarantulas said.

"How humble of you," Oak said dryly.

"Shut it, Samuel. You know as vell as I do zere's lots of times vhere mortal heroes have accomplished somezing gods could not," Tarantulas said.

"Hey!" Raikou said indignantly.

"Well…he has a point," Suicune said reluctantly.

"…Yeah, but he didn't have to _say_ it like that," Raikou complained.

"So, I sought out evil," Tarantulas said. A bitter look crossed his face. "I didn't have to look very hard.

"Everyvhere I vent, I found it. I saw…zings, Samuel. So many, many horrible zings. I ventured to asylums for ze insane, and orphanages vhere unvanted children are abandoned to rot. I trekked across battlefields vhere great nations vaged var, and ze remnants of perfectly peaceful and harmless communities zat got destroyed by barbarians or got caught in ze crossfires of ze aforementioned great nations. I visited Treasure Town, and places like it, and places as different from it as possible, and yet found zat ze people living zere vere not really so different, in ze end. I found darkness lurking in ze foulest slums and ze brightest places of high society. I found corruption in religion and in politics. I found charities zat vere funneling money into zeir own pockets, factories zat employed child laborers for no pay, sex slavery rings, pornography dens, corporate heads who vere villing to sell products zat caused horrible healz problems simply so zey could make a little more money due to not paying for safety regulations, politicians villing to sell out zeir constituents so zey could get re-elected, cops villing to look ze ozzer vay in exchange for cash, warlords—bozh barbarians and ozervise-who casually slaughtered zousands of people wiz a grin on zeir face, abusive parents and spouses, rapists and zieves and murderers and slavers and, and, and _vorse_ besides. No matter vhere I looked, I found evil vaiting for me, even in ze most promising of places, even in ze most trustvorzy of individuals. Evil, or ze potential for it, vas everyvhere…and good?" He laughed bitterly. "I started to vonder if it even existed at all…or if maybe it, too, vas just an illusion, like free vill. A lie ve tell ourselves, a vay to deny how horrible all of us really are inside.

"And zen I saw Genocide City, and my last shred of faizh in Pokémonity died forever."

Entei shuddered. "Genocide City…I'm a being of pure evil now, but even I want nothing to do with that place."

Suicune nodded. "Even when we were good, we steered far away from there in our travels."

"A place so horrible, not even gods dare tread there," Raikou said solemnly. "Heck, I'm not even sure _demons_ would be willing to visit."

"I don't know, I don't think it's that bad," Paul said. The legendary trio stared at him in horror and disbelief.

"I managed to escape zat hell, but I left a part of myself behind, somezing I can never get back…several somezings, actually, zat's part of ze reason I had to replace most of my body viz machinery," Tarantulas said. "After I recovered and reconstructed myself, I returned one last time to ze Law Rock. Zis time, ven I stared at it, I felt nozing but contempt and disgust. After vhat I had seen, vhat I had experienced in Genocide City, I could no longer believe Arceus vas a loving god. Eizer He's a sadistic bastard who enjoys making our lives miserable, an aloof and unapproachable being who doesn't really care vhat happens to us, or a complete and utter fraud using smoke and mirrors to make Himself seem more powerful zan He actually is, He is undeserving of our vorship, and must be removed from power.

"Supposedly, Arceus made our vorld, made us, and is responsible for us being such flawed and imperfect and _broken_ beings. And if somezing's defective from ze start, zere isn't really all zat much you can do to fix it, since it'll just break down again anyvays. So vhy bozzer? Vhy should ve be aspire to be better and try to be good vhen ze deck is so clearly stacked against us? Evil is endemic. _Good_ is ze anomaly. So vhy not stop lying about our being better zan ve really are and embrace ze ugly truzh zat deep down, all of us are horrible, disgusting creatures, and any who claim to be different are eizer hypocrites or outliers who should be shunned and put out of zeir misery. If Arceus vanted me to be evil, I reasoned, zen fine. I vould be evil. I vould be so evil He vould regret ever making me zis vay. And yes, I'm vell avare zat I'm probably playing right into His hands by doing so since everyzing's predestined so I vas probably alvays going to be evil anyvay so I'm just doing _exactly_ vhat he vants, but I hate Him so much I don't really care, and besides, it gives me an excuse to quit denying myself everyzing I vant and simply _take_ everyzing I desire."

"Well, that's certainly fatalistic," Paul snarked.

"Eh, I never really wasted too much time trying to figure out if I was doing what the Big Guy wanted or not back when I was—ugh—a good guy," Raikou said. "I figured, 'Hey, if I _wasn't_ doing what He wanted, He'd send someone to tell me or punish me like He did those crummy birds, right?' And I rarely got reprimanded, so I figured I was in the clear."

"…Wait…but we never got reprimanded for becoming evil," Suicune said, looking confused. "Does…that mean He _wants_ us to be bad guys? And if that's the case, isn't the whole point of our defection—to defy Him and do as we please—null and void, since we're probably fulfilling his plans no matter what we do?"

"Precisely my point! He must vant us to be evil, ozzervise ve vouldn't be, ja?" Tarantulas said triumphantly. "Simple as zat!"

Entei frowned. Something about that reasoning seemed…off for some reason. And why did the thought of turning against Arceus suddenly make him feel vaguely guilty? Especially if, as Tarantulas said, this must actually be what He wanted them to do…but if that were the case, then maybe they should be good instead, to rebel against Him, which was supposed to be what the whole point of their defection was in the first place? But wait, if they were good again, then they'd be right back where they started, serving Him…which would also be what He wanted anyway, since nothing happened that He didn't preordain, right? Unless He wasn't omnipotent after all. But Entei was _pretty_ sure He was. He'd gotten the impression the few times he'd even seen the Big Guy. So…then…what was he supposed to be doing, then? He rubbed his head, feeling a headache coming on. This sort of thing always confused him.

"And then what happened?" Oak asked.

Tarantulas frowned. There was something…strange about the Slowking's voice. It was cold, and hard, and it sounded as if he was holding back something else. Figuring it could wait until the end of the story, he continued. "After zat, I decided to go ahead viz my original ambitions to change ze vorld…except I vould change it into a vorld of _evil_, razzer zan good. And vhile a variety of options vere open to me, such as hypnosis, or behavioral modification, or genetic implementation of subliminal zoughts and false memories, I decided I should find a vay to change ze very nature of Pokémon's heart, to release ze true evil hidden beneazh ze surface. And for zat, I knew I vould need to find ze vork of ze Dark Ones, zose ancient Aura users who long ago invented ze Shadow Pokémon process, ze perfect vay to turn a good Pokémon to evil. You vere actually instrumental to me in zis, Samuel. I'd been following your exploits for quite some time, and in your archaeological vork had managed to unearzh a number of clues zat I vas able to piece togezzer to find ze locations of zeir ancient strongholds and laboratories. I could find nozzing in most of zem, of course, just as you probably found nozing. Ze Aura Guardians vere _very_ zorough in destroying ze vork of zeir fallen brezren. However, Samuel, I had somezing zat neizer you nor zey possessed…a heart of evil, and viz it I vas able to gain access to a library zat had managed to escape ze purge.

"Oh, ze zings I found zere, Samuel! Ze experiments ze Dark Ones did to master ze Shadow Pokémon process vere so horrible zey make _me_ look like a children's pediatrician! An honest one, not ze kind who's secretly groping zeir genitals, like Chobin does more often zan I care to say."

"Chobin likes genitals! Especially Chobin's own!" Chobin said, sucking on some genitals he'd ripped off of one of his clones when nobody was paying attention.

"If I retained any shred of faizh in ze goodness of people, ze secrets I learned in zat library vould have killed it just as certainly as Genocide City did," Tarantulas gushed fondly. "Zere, I began to understand vat it _truly_ meant to be evil…and I reveled in it." He laughed in embarrassment. "Of course, zere vas only so much of vhat I found zere zat I could actually understand, given zat I don't have ze power to manipulate Aura. Compared to ze Dark Ones, my own Shadow Pokémon technique is razzer crude and primitive, like a toddler trying to copy a great masterpiece using finger paint. Or Chobin."

"Chobin's favorite paint is BLOOD! And feces," Chobin said.

"Ew," Suicune said.

"Regardless, ze crumbs of knowledge I vas able to glean from ze ancient texts vas enough for me to gain an imperfect understanding of how ze Shadow Pokémon process vorks," Tarantulas continued. "Once I felt confident I knew how it could be done, I knew I needed some test subjects. And vouldn't you know it, but ze tventy-year mark from my graduation from Pokémon U had just rolled up! Recalling my promise to you and Emile, I decided it vas time I returned to ze vorld of academia…_especially_ since college students vould be ze _perfect_ test subjects for me to try my new Shadow Pokémon method on!"

"So _that's _why you came back?" Oak asked in disgust.

"Pretty much, yeah," Tarantulas said. "And to see you and Emile, of course, but since I vas evil now I didn't really care about our friendship as much anymore. Anyvay, I became a member of ze faculty and secretly captured promising students and subjects for my experiments. I also encountered Emile's nephew, Chobin, whom I immediately took a shine to, sensing a great and terrible darkness inside him zat vas only being kept at bay viz copious amounts of medication."

"Chobin doesn't like Chobin when Chobin is on medication. Chobin on medication is _boring,_" Chobin whined.

"Under ze guise of providing him 'counseling,' I got Chobin off his meds and helped him to embrace his inner evil. It vasn't very hard, zough I vas never able to get him interested in ze finer points of being evil; he vas too obsessed viz ze more visceral stuff," Tarantulas said. "Still is, for zat matter."

"And proud of it!" Chobin said.

"But zen Emile started poking around, so I had to kill him," Tarantulas said. "And zen _you_ started poking around, Samuel, so I had to kill you…except zings didn't vork out zat vay, my laboratory vas destroyed, and it vas assumed Chobin and I vere dead."

"If only that had been the case," Oak said coldly.

"Ve managed to escape in ze nick of time zrough ze back exit and decided to lay low, move somevere else, and start over in a different country. Vell, _I_ decided ve should do zat," Tarantulas admitted. "Chobin zought ve should burn ze university to ze ground."

"Chobin still thinks that would have been a better plan," Chobin pouted.

"However, it vas not to be," Tarantulas said. "For soon after our escape, ve found our vay blocked. I looked up…and beheld a god…and not a lame one like zose zree over zere, eizer!"

"Hey!" the trio yelled.

"Heh, nice one," Paul said.

"Oblivion's Shadow," Oak murmured.

Tarantulas nodded. "Correct. I could _feel_ ze raw power of Shadow oozing off of him…I felt humbled by his presence, and still do. Compared to him, I am but a novice. His genius and power over Shadow far outstrips my own…vhere it takes me hours, if not _days_ to create a Shadow Pokémon zrough a lengzhy and agonizing process, all he has to do is _vhisper_ in someone's ear and zeir heart turns blacker zan pitch. He said zat if I agreed to serve him, he could help me to fulfill my dreams of making a vorld of evil and overzrowing Arceus. Naturally, I agreed at once, so long as I could bring Chobin viz me, which he consented to."

"And that's how the world was made!" Chobin shouted. "Next time Chobin should tell you the story of how Chobin and Doctor Tarantulas joined the Nihilators. It's a real gem!"

Tarantulas would have facepalmed if he had any limbs left to facepalm into. "Close enough. Anyvay, zat's ze story."

Paul yawned. The three beasts looked thoughtful. Viers continued playing 'The Itsy Bitsy Spinarak.' And Oak, his voice trembling with fury, said, "That's _it?!_"

…

Meanwhile, far above them…

After managing to escape the relentless Kecleon army, Team Aurabolt continued on their way through the tower, facing many more obstacles along the way, though few of them were quite as harrowing as the one the vengeful shopkeeper had unleashed upon them. Little did they know, an even WORSE challenge was about to face them…

They entered a cramped room after crossing a crumbling bridge across a chasm full of spikes with bladed pendulums swinging through the air and giant spinning spiked columns rotating around the room at high speeds while fighting a pair of massive many-armed statues wielding swords that moved forwards to crush them from either side. The floor of the chamber was littered with dozens of multi-colored Gummis. "Ooh, candy!" Tiny said eagerly, floating forwards to sample some.

Ash grabbed him by one spike and pulled him back. "Tiny, you're not supposed to eat off the ground anymore, remember?"

"Oh, right…" the Pupitar said in disappointment.

Princess Boa blinked. "Why is there candy lying on the floor in a chamber in a dungeon that has been sealed off for countless millennia?"

"And fresh-looking candy, at that," Leo said, analyzing the Gummis with his shades.

"Maybe the Nihilators dropped it?" Lily suggested.

_Or maybe…it's a trap!_ Dawn said, eyes widening.

Pikachu started. "Oh crap! Everyone, get to the exit, it's a-" Abruptly, the doors slammed shut and several dozen very large and very powerful-looking Pokémon dropped from the ceiling. "Monster House."

"A what now?" asked the startled Tiny.

"A special room in a dungeon with many items on the floor. Once an adventurers enters the room, many Pokémon in large numbers drop from the ceiling to gang up and attack any trespassers," Briney explained.

"…But we're in a room in a dungeon, not a house," said the confused Tiny.

"And where did they come from?!" Boa asked incredulously, looking up at the rather low ceiling that certainly hadn't had several dozen Pokémon clinging to it a moment ago, and there were no signs of any hatches or trap doors. "They weren't there when we entered the room!"

"And how could they even be here in the first place, seeing as how this is a dungeon that's been sealed off for countless millennia?" asked the dumbfounded Lily.

"BECAUSE FUCK YOU, THAT'S WHY!" the assailants shouted.

"Ah," Lily said.

"Hey, you can't talk to my wife like that!" Leo shouted, brandishing his flaming electrified tonfas.

"SCREW YOU!" the enemy Pokémon bellowed in return.

"Welp, looks to me like these punks need to learn some manners," Briney said, cracking his knuckles.

"All right, everyone be careful, we're in a very tight space here which means we have to hold back on some of our attacks or else we risk hitting each other," Ash warned the others, tightening his grip on his staff.

"We've faced worse odds than this even before we got our new powers, we should be able to manage this," Pikachu said.

Boa nodded as she drew her rapier. "Yes, and at least there aren't any annoying traps to get in the way." The enemies grinned evilly, and the rest of the team stared at her in horror. "…What?"

"You did _not_ just say that," Pikachu groaned.

Suddenly, the walls split open to reveal hundreds of grinding sharp-edged gears and buzzsaws. Flame jets started spewing at random intervals from holes in the ceiling. Tracks appeared on the floor, and some of the gears and saws in the walls started spinning along them. Spiked pillars slammed down from the ceiling at rapid and infrequent intervals, crushing anything beneath them. Some floor tiles became electrified, others collapsed into bottomless pits, and still more flipped over to reveal a variety of Traps with rather nasty status effects. And naturally, the enemy Pokémon happened to be standing in _just_ the right places so that none of these traps affected them. At all.

As Princess Boa gawked in disbelief, Briney patted her on the shoulder. "This is why it's best not to tempt fate, lass."

"Are you _sure_ you're a veteran hero? Because I assumed you were experienced enough not to say things like that," Leo said.

"And we just happen to be all out of Trapburst Orbs, aren't we?" Pikachu sighed wearily.

_We used the last one a few rooms back,_ Dawn said.

"And no Orbs we could use to get rid of some of them?" Pikachu asked.

_We used those up, too. All the ones that affect more than one enemy at a time, anyway. Who'd have thought we'd burn through all the stock we stole from that Kecleon so quickly?_ Dawn wondered.

"Should we really have taken all of it? That can't have endeared us to him," Lily said.

"We were already labeled thieves, so we might as well have," Leo reasoned.

Briney nodded in agreement. "Besides, they'll have forgotten all about it the next time we run into one. They can be surprisingly forgiving to people who steal from them and live to get away with it."

"Didn't seem too forgiving when that one Kecleon was trying to put out my eye…" Tiny grumbled.

"All right, everyone, this isn't going to be easy…but we've made it this far, we can handle something like this, too," Ash said. "Probably not without a scratch, though."

"A lot of scratches…" Leo said.

"Why haven't they attacked us while we were standing here talking?" Boa asked.

"Because Talking Is-" Leo started, only for them to be attacked at once.

…

Meanwhile, much further down…

"'Zat's it?' Vhat do you mean, 'zat's it?'" asked the confused Tarantulas.

"I mean, that's it? That's the whole story behind your descent to villainy?" Oak asked, looking outraged.

"Vell…yes. Vhy?" Tarantulas asked.

"Because when you said there was more to the story than what I already knew, I had almost hoped there might be something that proved you had a better rationalization for your actions than what you've told me previously…but no, I was wrong, and I'm left with the same impression that I've had for the last several years. No, in fact, it's even worse than I originally thought. You're not just insane…you're a COMPLETE IDIOT!" Oak shouted.

"VHAT?!" Tarantulas screamed as a startled Viers hit several of the wrong keys, causing the dancing Chobins to stumble and trip over each other.

"Doctor is not an idiot! And if Doctor is an idiot, Doctor is the smartest idiot Chobin is knowing, and trust Chobin, Chobin is knowing a _lot _of idiots! Why, Chobin Chobinself is an idiot, and the Doctor is _certainly_ smarter than Chobin!" Chobin said.

Paul perked up, as did the beasts. "This ought to be good…" the armored Weavile said, a smile on his lips.

"Vhat are you talking about?! How am I an idiot?!" Tarantulas demanded.

Oak's lip curled up in disgust. "Tomaru, you've had a shitty childhood, and life was rather rough for you after you left college. Lots of bad things happened to you. I get it. But Tomaru…how does _any_ of that justify any of the absolutely HORRIFIC things that you've done?!"

"…Veren't you listening?!" Tarantulas asked incredulously. "I told you-"

"Yes, yes, you told me the world is horrible, evil is everywhere, Arceus doesn't care about us, boo-hoo, cry me a river, the same TAUROSSHIT that Straw Nihilists and Nietzsche Wannabes have been cramming down people's throats for CENTURIES!" Oak snapped. "Do you think you're the only Pokémon to have walked the same path of discovery you have, Tomaru? Do you think you're the only one who has suffered horribly trying to understand the nature of the world? Do you think you're the only Pokémon who's come to conclusions similar to the ones you've been ranting about since you brought me down here? Do you think you're the only one who's stared into the abyss? Let me tell you right now, you're _not_. But you know what makes all those other soul-searchers different from you, Tomaru? When most of them looked into the abyss, they didn't blink. YOU _DID._

"Do you know what most of those Pokémon who lost faith in Arceus and the world did? Rather than give into despair, they decided, 'Okay, the world's not as great a place as I would like it to be. I'm going to do as much as I can to leave the world a slightly better place than it was when I came into it.' Not all of them succeeded, grant you, but they _tried_, which is more than YOU'VE ever done. Tomaru, you _gave up_. And not only did you give up—you wouldn't be the first—but you decided to use your twisted, warped, and completely erroneous worldview to justify atrocities the likes of which haven't been seen in hundreds if not thousands of years. Even the others who gave up on the world never stooped to the depths you've fallen to! They would be so shocked and horrified by the things you've done they'd probably turn right around and try to _fix_ the world instead of wasting their time writing mopey poetry and cutting themselves!"

"Erroneous?! H-how is my vorldview _wrong?!_" Tarantulas shouted. "You know as vell as I do zat evil-"

"Is everywhere? Certainly. _But so is good_. You spent years looking for evil in the darkest corners of the Earth. It's no small surprise you found it. But you spent so much time looking for evil, Tomaru, you forgot to look for the good, too," Oak said.

"I found evil even _in_ ze good!" Tarantulas protested.

"Well, of _course_ you did! Nobody's perfect, Tomaru!" Oak pointed out. "But you spent so much time focusing on people's flaws that you forgot their virtues, and so convinced yourself that those virtues didn't exist!"

"Zat's not vhat-" Tarantulas started.

"That's _exactly_ what happened!" Oak interrupted. "Like I said, you're not the first Pokémon to go down this path! They all say the same things, and they're all _wrong!_ Are Pokémon flawed? Yes. Are we capable of terrible things? Yes. Are we capable of _wonderful_ things? _Yes._ I have _seen_ wonders in my journeys around the world, Tarantulas, while you were searching for horrors. I have seen astounding things, not only in ancient civilizations long dead, but in ones thriving to this day. I found wonder in both the great and the small, from the coronation of a mighty ruler surrounded by thousands of his adoring people to a nice cup of tea sipped under a shady tree with a good book of poetry on a warm Summer's day. A person can find evil wherever they look for it, Tomaru…but they can find good, too. They just have to remember to keep their eyes open.

"I won't bother pointing out why all of your reasons for why Arceus is evil and/or incompetent and should be defied and removed are ridiculous. There's plenty of arguments I could give against it, but we both know the only one you'll accept is a reason for His actions that doesn't leave His morality somewhat ambiguous, which is an answer I can't give you."

"Aha!" Tarantulas said triumphantly.

"_However_," Oak said. "I can tell you right now why all your rambling about how our choices don't matter and your fatalistic assumption that you're evil because Arceus wanted you to be and there was no other possible choice you could have made. As I've said before, lots of other people have walked down the path you've walked and seen the sights you've seen, and in the end were confronted with a choice to turn evil or to stay good. And quite a lot of them did, in fact, stay good in the end. I'm sure you could claim that it was their destiny to stay good while it was yours to be evil, but that's an incredibly flimsy justification for your actions. I've seen enough ancient prophecies in my day to know that the line between free will and destiny is not as clear-cut as you might think. Are certain outcomes absolute? Certainly. All of us are going to die one day, aren't we?"

"We're not," Raikou said.

"Neither am I, thanks to this," Paul said, patting his armor.

"But even if the outcome is inevitable, that doesn't mean the way we get there is," Oak continued. "And given what you've told me, I don't think it was your destiny to become evil, Tomaru. You've just convinced yourself it is, so you don't have to face the fact that you gave up, turned your back on your hopes and dreams, betrayed the only people in the world who cared about you, and are almost single-leggedly responsible for all the terrible things that have befallen you in your life because, when faced with a choice, you took the coward's way out and QUIT."

"Z-zat's not vhat-" Tarantulas stammered.

"Isn't it, now? You said yourself that you gave up, Tomaru…and isn't that the sort of thing only a coward does?" Oak sneered.

"I-I-" Tarantulas started. How had this happened? He was the captor. Oak was his prisoner. So why did it feel like he'd completely lost control of the situation?

"And all that aside…do you really want to know why you're wrong, Tomaru? Really? Let me tell you why. Have you ever heard of the Liberalis Circulum?" Oak asked.

"Uh, vell-" Tarantulas said.

"I didn't think so. They've been called many names throughout history, but they're best known as a brotherhood of Assassins, who opposed a group called the Templar Order for most of recorded history," Oak said.

"Ooh! Chobin loves those games!" Chobin said.

Wisely ignoring Chobin, Oak continued. "The Assassins, despite what the name implies, were actually surprisingly virtuous killers, who only slew the wicked, or at least those serving the Templars. They aren't around anymore, sad to say—they wiped out the Templars ages ago, and there's not as much need for their kind in the present, though I believe there's one or two still running around (or perhaps there's more, and they're just in hiding, since the best way for them to work would be to convince the world that they're all gone?)—but they had a very interesting philosophy which I feel is relevant to this discussion. They, much like you, came to doubt the greatness and omnipotence of Arceus…but rather than turning to evil, like the Templars, who felt similarly, did, they chose a different path.

"Their motto, at the height of their power, was 'Nothing is true, everything is permitted.' They believed that, in the end, there is no true divine law. Yes, Arceus and the other gods exist, but they are flawed, and we are their flawed creations. As such, if we wish to live in peace, prosperity, and freedom, we must build a civilization that permits those things. Their motto, to them, was merely an observation of the nature of reality as they saw it. To say that nothing is true is to realize that the foundations of society are fragile, and we must be the shepherds of our own civilization. To say that everything is permitted is to understand that we are the architects of our actions, and that we must live with their consequences, whether glorious or tragic. The motto, despite what it seemed to imply, wasn't telling them to be free, it was telling them to be _wise._

"While I don't entirely agree with the tenets of their philosophy or beliefs, I believe they posed a very good point. A mon can look at the world, feel it's uncaring, and say, 'Why not be evil?' Another mon, however, can look at the same world, and say, 'Why not be good?' And that is why you are wrong, Tomaru. If someone can go through what you did, but still choose to be good…then that means the core fundament of your belief, that everyone is evil inside, is completely and utterly false."

"Zat's…zat's impossible!" Tarantulas protested, shocked. "How can anyone have seen ze zings I've seen, experienced ze zings I have experienced, and _not_ become evil?!"

"There's more than you'd think. If you looked through that database you call your brain, I'm sure you could find several names, some of whom might surprise you," Oak said smugly. "But of course, Tomaru, you'll never do that, will you? Because then you'll have to admit that you're wrong, and that maybe, just maybe, it's not the world that's screwed up…but that all along it's been you, and in the end you're not much better than Chobin, despite your claims of embracing the 'finer points' of evil, which is ludicrous on the face of it. You gave up everything you had going for you—and you had more going for you than you might think—for petty gratification and to make yourself feel less empty inside, and look at what it's done to you. _Look_ at yourself, Tomaru. Can you honestly say that you made the right choice?

"I have seen the things you're capable of, Tomaru. Such great and terrible things. Things that made the world worse. Can you imagine what you might have made if you'd taken the other path? I can. Such wonders you could have wrought…but looking at you now, I honestly have to wonder whether any of that could have come to pass. After all, Tomaru, if you _really_ wanted to save the world as badly as you claim you once did…you could have done it _years_ ago, if it had really mattered to you."

Tarantulas stared at him in shock. His mandibles quivered. Liquid started dripping from his one biological eye and ran down Chobin's head. "Doctor, why are you urinating from your eyes on Chobin's head?" Chobin asked, sticking out his tongue to lap it up. "Mmm, salty!"

The other villains stared in astonishment. Even Viers and the clones paused to look at the Doctor in disbelief. "Huh," Paul said. "Don't see that every day."

"I didn't even know the Doc _could_ cry," Entei said.

"I-it's n-n-not tears!" Tarantulas blubbered. "It's c-c-c-c-coolant f-f-f-fluid!"

"From your biological eye?" Suicune asked.

"YEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSS!" Tarantulas wailed, bursting into tears.

As the cyborg Ariados head sobbed, Oak, a calm smile on his face, turned to Paul and the beasts, who took a step back reflexively. "I should warn you, if you're going to try and psyche me out, it won't work," Paul warned the bound and helpless Slowking, raising his claws.

"Oh, don't worry, I have no business with you," Oak said. "Though given enough time, I'm sure I could force you to realize that your evil and desperate attempts to gain immortality spring from a desperate fear of death you're secretly ashamed of that in turn originates from your parents dying at an early age and your inability to move past it."

"Wait, what?!" Paul stammered. "How did you-" He snarled his teeth. "Dawn! She told you!"

"Hmm? Oh no, she didn't tell me a thing," Oak said smoothly.

Paul blinked. "But then how-"

"All I had to do was _look_ at you. It's pretty obvious, really," Oak said with a grin. Paul's jaw dropped.

"Oooh, do Chobin, do Chobin!" Chobin squealed eagerly, hopping up and down and waving his leaf in the air excitedly while Tarantulas continued crying.

"There's nothing for me to diagnose, you're Zubatshit insane," Oak said flatly.

"Yes, that are sounding about not-wrong," Chobin said.

"And me?" Viers asked, glancing up from the organ.

"There's also nothing for me to diagnose, you're just a big fat idiot who likes breaking things," Oak said.

Viers nodded. "This is being true."

"So let me guess, you're going to try and psychoanalyze the Abyss out of us next and make us reconsider our choice to become evil?" Entei snarled, hackles rising. "Not gonna happen!"

"Yeah, we're legendary Pokémon! Our minds are far more complex than you mortals!" Suicune said.

"They are?" Raikou asked. Suicune smacked him.

"Oh, I don't need to psychoanalyze you. After all, you're not really evil, you're just brainwashed," Oak said.

Entei stiffened at this. Raikou rolled his eyes again. "Ugh, this again?"

"Why do we keep hearing that?" Suicune asked.

"Why, because it's true, of course," Oak said.

Tarantulas, hearing this, was startled out of his tearful reverie. "N-no! Don't listen to him! He speaks lies!"

Entei frowned, a suspicion stirring. "Then let's hear them. If they're only lies, and we know they're lies, then they can't hurt us, right?"

"Er…yes! Yes zey can!" Tarantulas stammered. "Zey vill make you doubt your choice and your dedication to ze Nihilator cause!"

Suicune frowned. "All right, now I'm actually getting curious."

Raikou nodded. "Yeah, if the Doc doesn't want us to hear them, I definitely want to listen."

"I'd be happy to tell you," Oak said. "You see-"

"NO!" Tarantulas shouted, remotely activating the psionic inhibitor on Oak's head, sending several thousand volts of lethal electricity into the Water-type's brain…except that didn't happen and the bulky metal ring did nothing at all. "V-vhat?!"

"Oh, were you trying to do something to me?" Oak asked, his eyes glowing blue. His bonds were ripped to shreds, and he reached up and ripped off the inhibitor. "Sorry, but my little friend here disabled your toy quite some time ago," he said, patting his Shellder crown, which purred affectionately. "She really is quite dexterous with her tongue."

"Y-you mean you could have escaped at any time?!" Tarantulas asked in astonishment while the beasts bristled, Paul stiffened, and Viers continued obliviously playing the organ. "Zen vhy-"

"Did I allow myself to remain captive? Why, so I would be in the perfect position to foil your plan, of course," Oak said. "For while we both know how to _activate_ the tower, I know something you don't: how to shut it down, and I can do it from right here! Well, with a little help of course…"

"Which you won't get, since you're all alone here!" Entei snarled.

"And surrounded by foes on all sides!" Suicune agreed.

"Hence why I goaded Tarantulas into giving his long diatribe on how he became evil," Oak said. "To buy the time my rescuers would need to get down here. I'm certain that after you took me away, Tracey managed to place a call to Leo, meaning Team Aurabolt should already be here, especially given their current capabilities. And when they do get here…you're _finished_."

"Oh, I wouldn't be so sure about that…" Paul said.

"Goaded?! You vere completely uninterested in my story!" Tarantulas said in disbelief.

"Oh, I was," Oak said. "But I also knew getting you to talk would be the best way to keep you from killing me, so I feigned nonchalance, knowing it would slight your ego enough to spill the whole thing. You always did have a tendency to monologue, Tomaru. Its part of the reason the campus security was able to catch you off guard back at the University. I didn't actually expect to lose my temper and go off on you the way I did, that was just an added bonus. You've had that coming for a long, long time Tomaru. I'm glad I finally got it off my chest."

"V-vell, your backup's not here yet! All ve have to do is kill you now, and vhatever plan you've got in store vill be ruined!" Tarantulas said.

"Not really, once Team Aurabolt gets here I'm pretty sure they'll wipe the floor with you and ruin your plan," Oak said. "But just in case, I fully intend to even the odds to ensure my survival a little longer."

"And how do you plan to do that, exactly?" Suicune asked.

"Why, by telling you three how Tarantulas and Bellum brainwashed you and tricked you into becoming evil, of course," Oak said, turning towards the legendaries.

"NO, YOU VON'T! CHOBIN, GET HIM!" Tarantulas shouted.

"Okay. RAAAAAWWWWWWWWR!" Chobin (the one wearing Tarantulas on his head) raaaaaawwwwwwwwred as he lunged at Oak. Oak backhanded him without even turning around, knocking him to the floor. "Owie."

"Ugh…okay, plan B. Chobin clones, get him!" Tarantulas shouted.

"Can't, dancing to our deaths!" the clones sang as they danced to their deaths.

"Uh…Viers, get him!" Tarantulas said.

"I cannot because I am busy playing the organ and so I cannot get him," Viers said.

"…You could STOP!" Tarantulas shouted.

"Then I would lose my train of thought, and if I were to lose my train of thought, it would be difficult to find it again, because it was lost," Viers said, staring determinedly at the keyboard as his pudgy fingers danced across it. "Though I do not really understand how someone could lose something as big a train, for trains are very large and not easy to lose, but I suppose a train of thought must be small if it can fit inside someone's head rather than being very large and not easy to lose, meaning it is easy to lose because it is small so it can fit in someone's head rather than being very large and not easy to lose."

"Oh for ze love of…Paul, get him!" Tarantulas yelled.

Paul tapped his chin in thought. "Mmm…nah."

"VHAT?! VHY NOT?!" Tarantulas screamed.

"Don't feel like it," Paul said with a shrug. "Plus, I want to see where this is going."

Tarantulas screamed incoherently for several seconds before finally managing to belt out, "SPIDERS! GET HIM!"

The mechanical spiders hissed and chittered and scurried down from the walls, devouring any Chobin clone in their path as they swarmed across the floor towards the alarmed Oak…

Until lightning bolts shot down from the ceiling, walls of fire erupted from the floor, and ice spikes materialized around the Slowking and the legendary beasts. "That," Entei snarled, eyes flickering with rage. "Is quite enough."

"Before, I was willing to believe this was just a story to try and sway our judgment, like you said…but your actions, Herr Doctor, seem VERY desperate for someone claiming that he is in the right here. I'm beginning to wonder if perhaps there _is_ something to what Regigigas, and now the Professor, are trying to tell us," Suicune said.

"Go ahead, Professor," Raikou said, nodding to Oak. "Tell us what you know. We're listening."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Tarantulas shouted. They ignored him.

"When the Nihilators captured you and tried to turn you into Shadow Pokémon, you were more resistant to their methods than they had anticipated," Professor Oak began.

"Really? Because I seem to remember agreeing to become evil right away," Raikou said.

"Yes, well, you're remembering wrong," Oak said, causing the Thunder Pokémon to frown. "While you were somewhat resentful of your lot in life, you weren't willing to betray Arceus and your other divine brethren just for some shallow self-gratification."

"That's not how I remember-" Suicune started.

"Again, you're remembering wrong," Oak said, causing her to growl.

"And how do you know this, exactly?" Entei asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Why, because the vampires Bob and Dean said so, of course, when they gave their testimony at the Grand Council in Fichina last week," Oak said. "What, you didn't see it?"

The beasts fidgeted. "Well, no," Entei admitted. "We missed it."

"And were too busy preparing for this mission to see any of it in the interim," Suicune said.

"Well, it probably wouldn't have mattered anyway, I'm sure they'd have edited out any part that mentioned you being brainwashed," Oak said.

"How convenient," Suicune said skeptically.

"Get to the brainwashed part, already! What are you talking about?!" Raikou growled.

Oak sighed. "As I was saying, before you kept _interrupting_, was that you refused to willingly join the Nihilators, and they were reluctant to use the more…brutal method that would turn you into a Shadow Pokémon by force. While you would be very powerful if they used that method, you would also be mindless and little more than berserkers. While you would be somewhat less powerful if you willingly submitted to the process, you would still retain some degree of rational thought, and therefore be a more effective operative, rather than a living weapon of mass destruction like Lugia became."

The trio considered this for a moment. "Yeah, I guess that makes sense," Raikou admitted.

"Except for the fact that we're Shadow Pokémon now, and retain our minds, therefore we _must _have consented to turn evil," Suicune said. She hesitated. "…Right?"

Oak shook his head. "Wrong. Just when Oblivion's Shadow was considering stepping in and using the Anti-Life Equation to change you by force, Bellum and Tarantulas struck on a brilliant idea. Individually, your divine brains were a little too strong for their magic or science to alter. But by working together, they believed they hit upon a way to make you their willing slaves. After you were all fed copious amounts of drugs to dull your senses and lower your mental defenses, Bellum cast a spell that muddled your minds, allowing her and Tarantulas to implant false memories that would make you believe you hated your jobs more than you actually did and that you secretly yearned to be evil. They also made you forget your rather violent and unwilling capture, and all the various tortures they inflicted on you to try to convert you to Shadow Pokémon prior to that. Once the fake memories took hold and rewrote your minds, you were more than happy to accept the Shadow Pokémon treatment and become the monsters you are now…and inflict countless horrors because of a lie."

"Don't listen to him! He's lying!" Tarantulas shrieked desperately.

"The Doc has a point. That's a pretty big tale you're expecting us to swallow. How do we know you're telling the truth?" Raikou asked suspiciously.

"Because if I weren't, would Tarantulas have tried so hard to silence me?" Oak pointed out.

The trio fidgeted. "…Good point," Suicune admitted.

"Yeah, but…I don't remember _anything_ like what he's saying! Could they really have messed with our heads that much?" Raikou asked uncertainly. "How did those vampires even know about this, anyway?"

"That, I'm afraid, I don't know," Oak admitted. "The same way they found out about everything else they revealed at the Grand Council, I suppose."

"Well, even with Tarantulas' recent actions, without corroborating evidence, I'm not sure I'm ready to believe that our joining the Nihilators was-" Suicune started.

"It's true," Entei said abruptly.

The other two looked at him in surprise. "What? How can you be so sure?" Raikou asked.

"I just am. I've suspected this for a while now, to be honest. Lots of things haven't been adding up lately. Regigigas's warning, the Doc and Bellum's evasiveness, the Professor's explanation…half-remembered memories I've been seeing in my sleep…it all fits. We've been lied to and manipulated all along. We aren't really evil, not by choice. This…what we've become…it's not how we're supposed to be. We're supposed to be champions. Guardians. Protectors of the Earth. It wasn't a task we always liked, but it was still something we took pride in. And we…we turned our backs on it. We became everything we fought against. We…we became just like those damned _birds!_" Entei spat.

Raikou and Suicune exchanged worried looks. "Are…are you certain?" Raikou asked.

"Positive," Entei said.

"But…then that means…" Suicune whispered, her eyes going wide. "All…all those innocent people we killed or ate or…or did _worse_ things to…"

Entei closed his eyes solemnly. "Yeah. We killed them for nothing."

Suicune threw up, and Raikou looked like he wasn't far off. "But…but then…why can't I remember?" the Thunder Pokémon protested weakly. "I-if it's true, then why do I still remember otherwise?"

"Because the fake memories are rooted deep in your subconscious," Oak said. "Don't worry, though. A good old-fashioned Aura purification should knock those memories and all the evil right out of you and reopen your hearts, restoring you to your true selves."

"An Aura purification. As in, the kind an Aura Guardian like the Chosen One could provide?" Entei asked.

Oak nodded. "Precisely. And wouldn't you know it, but he's probably on his way here now!"

"But…he killed the birds," Raikou said as Suicune kept heaving up her lunch…most of which had been soldiers or other innocent Pokémon who had gotten in her way. "Why would he spare us?"

"He knows the truth about you. He must, after all, he was at the Council meeting with everyone else," Oak said. "He will certainly purify you, especially if I vouch for you."

"And then…we'll really comprehend all the horrible things we've done," Suicune whispered, trembling as she expelled the last of her stomach contents. "How…how will we be able to live with ourselves?"

"We will ask Arceus for forgiveness, and accept whatever punishment he deems right," Entei said. "Even if it means…the same fate the birds suffered. We deserve whatever is coming to us."

"You feel remorse for your actions, while the birds did not," Oak pointed out. "That's one point in your favor."

"But that's the thing, Professor…right now I _don't_ feel remorse," Raikou said. "I'm a Shadow Pokémon, and my head is full of fake memories. Even listening to what you just said, even knowing it's the truth, there's still a big part of me trying to deny all of it."

"Perhaps so…but even if you don't feel regret now, you will once you are purified," Oak said.

Raikou closed his eyes. "Which terrifies me all the more, Professor…I've hurt so many people while with the Nihilators that I can't even remember their faces. But once I'm good again…I will. I know I will. And it'll hurt. It'll hurt more than almost anything I've experienced in my very long life."

"The truth can be painful, Raikou," Suicune said weakly. "But we owe it to ourselves to own up to it and atone for our mistakes." She narrowed her eyes, her body stopping its shaking as she stood tall once more and daintily stepped over her sick. "And I think I know just where to start."

The walls of elemental energy lowered, and the trio started stalking towards Tarantulas, with Oak walking between them so he couldn't get attacked by any robot spiders. A look of pure terror flashed across the cyborg Ariados's face while Chobin masturbated with an oblivious smile on his face…but then that look passed, and an expression of cunning replaced it. "So…zat's it, zen? One speech from a stranger and you're turning against your master?"

"Is it true, Doctor? What he said?" Raikou growled.

"…Oh, vhy bozzer denying it? Yes, it's true, all of it," Tarantulas said with a grin. "Bellum and I made you zink you vere somezing you veren't and turned you into evil, horrible monsters. And _enjoyed_ it."

The resulting roar of fury from the beasts shook the chamber. "Then you know what's going to happen now, don't you?" Entei snarled.

"Yes, I do…but I'm not sure _you_ do!" Tarantulas said, his mechanical eye flashing.

Suddenly, the three beasts cried out in pain and collapsed to the ground, writhing in agony and nearly crushing Oak, who quickly had to scramble out of the way to keep from being hit by their flailing limbs. "Wh-what's happening?!"

Tarantulas burst into laughter. "Oh please, Samuel, you don't really zink I never anticipated such an eventuality, did you? I _knew_ zere vas a chance zat zey might learn ze truzh and turn against me one day, so installed countermeasures to ensure I could still control zem no matter vhat happened. And speaking of countermeasures…Paul, if you'd be so kind as to assist me? Unless, of course, you feel like continuing to be a colossal jackass?"

"I _do _feel like being a colossal jackass," Paul admitted. "But if you're asking me to do what I think you are…then sure. Should be fun." He leaped into the air, and, with a flick of his wrist, flung three syringes at the anguished legendary beasts. Despite their thrashing about, Paul's aim was true—as was befitting a ninja—and the needles sunk into the flesh on the backs of each of the trio's necks, injecting them with a concentrated dose of pure Shadow.

Oak's eyes widened in horror. "No…oh, no…"

"Yes…oh, YES!" Tarantulas cackled.

The beasts gasped, eyes bulging out of their sockets and muscles tightening until they could be seen through their skin. They ground their teeth and convulsed, waves of power rippling off of them and cracking the ground, causing the chamber to tremble. The three beasts threw their heads back and roared so loudly that some of the carved heads on the ceiling crumbled, and some of the cloning pods exploded. Auras of their respective elements blazed to life around them, shattering the ground they were standing on and towering several meters into the air before shrinking back down and coalescing, turning darker until they were pitch black, a limitless darkness that hungrily devoured the light.

Raikou's tail went from looking like a lightning bolt to actually _being_ a lightning bolt, a crackling whip of electricity which twitched and snapped and spat sparks as it flailed about wildly. The thundercloud cape on his back turned black, grew thicker, and rumbled, lights flashing in its depths and bolts of static crackling around it. Bone spurs shaped like lightning bolts tore out of his joints and from his sides as his fur color inverted, yellow becoming black and black becoming yellow. His claws and fangs grew longer and sharper, static crackling along their lengths. The gray crest on his forehead grew two zigzagging horns from the sides and a lightning bolt-shaped blade pointing straight forward. His eyes turned as yellow as his fur had used to be. He howled, and black lightning bolts shot down all around him.

The metal bands around Entei's legs shattered, and his whole body bulked up, muscles bulging out to ridiculous extremes. His shaggy brown fur rustled and grayed until it was the color of burnt ashes. The plates on his back grew longer and sharper as more plates burst out of his sides and joints, and his gray cape changed from smoke into flame, a thick tongue of fire that roiled and burned and twisted behind him. Claws popped out of his paws, and his wrists and ankles burst into flames. The gray plate on his belly turned 180 degrees and took on the color and consistency of fire. His long mane transformed into flames, creating a burning wreath around his head. The plates covering his face rattled, and then expanded outwards, generating more plates to encircle his entire head, sprouting a pair of antlers in the process so that its resemblance to a samurai kabuto was complete. To finish it off, a single tongue of flame appeared over his head, burning with greater intensity than the rest of the fires all over his body. His eyes turned burning red, and he howled, and black flames erupted all around him.

Suicune's blue fur turned black, while the diamond-shaped spots on her sides transformed into many-armed spirals. Glittering spikes made of solid water formed on her joints, and solid water spikes sprouted from her back. Claws made of water sprouted from her paws. Her purple mane shimmered and transformed into water, flowing behind her like a liquid tendril with bubbles and ice crystals drifting in its mass. Her white streamer tails grew longer, turned into water, and formed barbs at their end, lashing at the air like whips, leaving bubbles and dark auroras in their wake. Spikes grew from the sides of the hexagonal crest on her head, and an aurora-colored energy ball formed inside it. A mask made of solid water formed over her face, distorting her features and making them either ethereally beautiful or otherworldly terrifying, depending on which way you looked at it. Her eyes turned as blue as her fur had used to be. She howled, and black geysers burst from the ground around her.

"Chobin has such an erection right now," Chobin said giddily.

"SO DO WE!" the Chobin clones shouted.

"Will you keep it down?!" Viers shouted angrily. "I am TRYING to create beautiful music, and I cannot do it with all this YELLING that is distracting me from trying to create beautiful music!"

"Eh, my Hyper Mode's better," Paul said.

"No…it's more horrible than I ever imagined…" Oak whispered.

"I know, right? And zey're completely under my control, too! No more pesky zinking or rebellion! Not anymore!" Tarantulas said joyfully. "Oh, but ze fun's just getting started! I'd planned to save zis for Team Aurabolt, but since you've been such a _vonderful_ audience, Samuel, I zink you deserve a sneak peek for all your good behavior! Chobin?"

"Yes, Doctor?" Chobin asked.

"I zink it's time to try out ze toy your…ugh, alter ego made again," Tarantulas said grudgingly.

Oak gasped in horror. "No…you can't mean…"

"Oh boy! Chobin loves this part!" Chobin said eagerly as he whipped out a small black rectangular device cobbled together from a mishmash of computer parts with a glowing LED screen, a pair of concentric circular buttons, and a V-shaped crest on the front. He pointed the device at the three beasts. "Pokéxross! Pokéxross! POKÉXROSS!" Oak looked on in horror, and Tarantulas in glee and more than a little envy, and Paul in curiosity, as a sinister black light radiated from the device held in Chobin's leaf and engulfed the legendary trio.

One of the pipes on the organ Viers was playing opened up and a tall metal spire rose up. Cracks split open down its sides, and the spire unfolded into three prongs surrounding a glowing power core. The weapon swiveled down on its mount, pivoting to point at the three beasts. With an ominous hum, the core powered up, energy crackling up the lengths of the prongs and gathering at the tips. With a high-pitched whine, the device fired three beams of light; one red, one blue, and one yellow, lancing out and striking the three beasts, which arched their backs and shrieked in unimaginable agony as incredible power surged through them. The oblivious Viers frowned, wondering why his tune suddenly sounded a little off. Spheres of colored light formed around the beasts and they rose into the air, their figures vanishing as the colors opaqued. The balls began to spin rapidly around each other.

"RAIKOU!" the yellow orb shouted.

"ENTEI!" the red orb shouted.

"SUICUNE!" the blue orb shouted.

Without warning, they slammed together to form a purple orb. "POKÉXROSS!"

The sphere exploded, a pillar of solid black Shadow Aura rising from the floor to the ceiling, fissures running out from its base, noxious fumes and evil purple light seeping out of the cracks. Powerful wind billowed out from the pillar, buffeting everyone around it and knocking several Chobin clones and spiders away. The clones enjoyed it. The spiders did not. A dark figure took shape within the pillar, emitting an air-splitting, brain-melting, heart-bursting howl that seemed to rend the very fabric of reality itself and caused several Chobin clones' heads to explode.

The evil energy warped and shrunk in on itself, coalescing around a massive, horrific figure which dropped to the ground, its weight cratering the floor. Oak stared in disbelief as the unholy abomination born from the Nihilators' mad science stood up, rising above him and holding its three hideous heads high in the air.

While it was massive, it was so thin that the bones were clearly visible underneath its skin, giving it a starved look. And yet it still managed to stand tall on its four legs, and a feeling of horrible power radiated from it along with its pitch-black Shadow Aura, so this weakness was probably an illusion. The mangy fur, each hair of which was stiff and sharp as a dagger, was a filthy grayish black with bloodstains everywhere. The upper parts of its legs had strips and diamond patterns torn out of them, revealing the surprisingly thick muscle and bone underneath. The lower parts of the legs were encased in jagged, uncut black crystalline armor with spikes sticking out of them which were put in place of flesh, so the tendons and leg bones could be seen distorted through the armor. In place of paws were pads and claws made of exposed bone, with blood vessels pumping into them. Two rows of long, jagged crystalline growths grew from its sides sticking out and upward, throbbing and glowing slightly as blood was pumped into them. More strips and diamond-shaped patches of skin had been torn out, revealing muscle, ribs, and internal organs. Growing down the back was a long, filthy, tangled and matted mane so covered in dirt and old stains of blood and other disgusting fluids that it was colored a very ugly gray and seemed to wriggle now and then. Three tails grew from the rear, two of them black, segmented, writhing things ending in snapping mouths, the last one a long, zigzagging blue-gray thing which twitched now and then and ended in a very nasty-looking barb. But the true abnormality about the monster was that it had not one, but _three_ heads sprouting from its front, each with a neck ringed with a metal collar that had spikes on both the inside and outside and had long spiked spinal cord chains growing out the back and tangling themselves up in the twisted mane. The three heads were clearly distinguishable as those of Entei, Suciune, and Raikou, even if their faces had all been ripped off and masks in the form of their old faces made of the same rough, jagged crystal on their legs were slapped on, the inner points digging into the skulls so they exposed muscles and drained blood. Their jaws, sheathed in crystal, were hanging open and revealing long canines and fangs that were so dirty that a bite from them would probably leave a seriously infected wound. Their glowing red eyes gazed out through holes cut into the crystal masks, allowing them to stare down at Oak with mindless malevolence, saliva dripping from their jaws and melting through the floor.

"...CHOBIN'S ERECTION IS SO ERECT ONE COULD USE IT TO BUILD A BUILDING! MADE OUT OF PENISES! THAT ARE ALL ERECT!" Chobin shouted. He frowned. "But where would Chobin get that many penises that are all erect and could be used to build a building?"

"CHOBIN COULD USE THESE CHOBIN'S PENISES!" the other clones cried. "THEY ARE ALSO SO ERECT ONE COULD USE THEM TO BUILD BUILDINGS! MADE OUT OF PENISES! THAT ARE ALL ERECT!"

"MAYBE CHOBIN WILL!" Chobin said. "THANK CHOBIN VERY MUCH FOR THE OFFER!"

"CHOBIN IS VERY WELCOME!" the clones replied.

"Okay, that's pretty impressive," Paul admitted.

Enraged, Viers whirled around. "FOR THE LAST TIME, EVERYONE BE…QUIET…" The Emboar stared at the new monster for a long moment, then quietly turned around and resumed his playing

"Tomaru…" Oak whispered, tears running down his cheeks. "What have you done?"

"Technically, Arackaiser did it," Tarantulas grumbled. "But I have no problem taking ze credit in zis instance. And vow, zat's an ugly one. Looks even vorse zan Maelstrom. And speaking of vhich, I already have a name ready for a monster of zis caliber. I zink 'Cerberus' is a fitting name, don't you?"

"The three-headed gatekeeper of the Underworld…" Oak murmured.

"Yep! Like I said, fitting, since ve're pretty much trying to open up ze gates of ze Undervorld…hmm, vonder if zey already have a Cerberus in ze Abyss…oh vell, you're not going to live long enough to find out. Cerberus! KILL SAMUEL OAK!"

The abomination crouched, muscles tensing, ready to pounce…

…

Meanwhile, in Pokémon Square…

"Ah, that was a nice lunch," Master Yamiri commented as he walked back into the temple, having stepped out to get a bite to eat. "Well, back to…work?" He blinked, looking around in puzzlement to see that none of the various soldiers or priests who were supposed to be guarding the holy site (and the unholy creature imprisoned within) were anywhere to be seen. "Where is everyone?"

Hearing some noise from the lower levels, he hovered over the balcony railing and peered downwards. Much to his surprise, all of the personnel who had been stationed at the temple (and a few civilians visiting to pay their respects or to stare at Legion) were all gathered on the bottom floor, gathered around a television someone had brought in to entertain the guards during their long vigil of staring at the components of Legion floating around in their cell and occasionally forming curse words or promises of vengeance. Even the evil Unown seemed to be focusing all their eyes on the screen, though a couple glanced up briefly at the annoyed Yamiri as he descended towards them. "What is going on here?" he demanded, causing several of the assembled Pokémon to start and quickly snap to attention. "Why are you not all at your posts? I do not begrudge you for wanting to take a break—I understand this is a tedious job—but that's what _shifts_ are for!"

One of the temple acolytes bowed apologetically. "We are sorry, Master, but…"

"But what?" Yamiri asked sharply.

The acolyte bit his lip. "There has been a massive Nihilator attack."

Yamiri stiffened. "What? Where?!"

"Treasure Town," Morty, who had guard duty there that day, said somberly.

Yamiri paled. "No…let me see!"

The crowd quickly parted, allowing Yamiri a high-definition view of a smoldering crater rising from a shattered, partially flooded wasteland with a gigantic mechanical spider looming over it, fighting a giant (but less so) undead Crawdaunt, Lugia, and several dozen battleships flying the colors of a variety of different nationalities. A familiar Kirlia reporter was reporting live from the scene, a sober expression on her face, with matching looks on the Chatot and Pachirisu anchors sitting behind a newsdesk in the picture-in-picture inset on the bottom left corner of the screen. "-afraid this is about as close as I can get, Oli, it's a warzone out here."

"You've reported from warzones before, Valerie," the Chatot pointed out.

Valerie shook her head. "None like this, Oli. None like this."

"Valerie, now that you're on the ground, tell us, what exactly is going on there?" the Pachirisu asked.

"Well, as you can see behind me, Treasure Town and most of the surrounding countryside have been completely destroyed by the crash landing of the Nihilator weapon called an 'Arachnoblast.' The death toll is in the hundreds, if not thousands, but we won't be able to get an accurate body count until this is all over…if ever, given how many were probably vaporized on impact. The survivors have been fighting desperately against the Arachnoblast and the Nihilators pouring out of it since then, suffering heavy casualties as a result. Reinforcements from several countries, including our own Draconian Empire, showed up a few minutes ago and are lending support, as are the legendary Pokémon Lugia and the undead pirate crew serving under Captain Thaddeus Irving Briney of Team Aurabolt."

"Valerie, I thought those pirates had some kind of magic flying ship. Why aren't they using it?" Oli asked.

Valerie bit her lip. "As far as I can tell, Oli…they did." The camera panned away from her briefly and zoomed in to focus on a smoldering golden wreck some distance away. "This is the result."

"Oh my…" the Chatot murmured.

"What exactly are the Nihilators trying to accomplish here, Valerie? What connection does this have to Oblivion's Shadow's worldwide ultimatum?" the Pachirisu asked.

"An excellent question, Roxy. Fortunately, I've managed to track down someone who might be able to shed some light on that subject," Valerie said as the camera focused on her again.

"General Shinobu?" Roxy squealed hopefully.

"Ah, no. He wasn't available for comment. I believe he's busy helping fight the Nihilators, along with General Victini of Fichina. I managed to run into some Pokémon who managed to escape the fighting inside the crater, though. Allow me to introduce civilian consultant Tracey Sketchit, the pirates Fat Pete and Molly, and Lieutenant Dino of our own Draconian Empire!"

The camera zoomed out to reveal that standing next to Valerie were a shell-shocked and weary Smeargle, a human and Chatot skeleton, and an exhausted Druddigon in Draconian livery. The skeletons were currently having a hushed conversation. "So that thing they're pointing at us is sending moving pictures of us to people all over the world?" the human asked.

"In millions of households, aye, if I understand it correctly," the Chatot said.

"Cor! Ain't modern technology a hoot?" the human said, impressed.

"Lieutenant Dino, what can you tell us about the Nihilator attack? What are they trying to accomplish here, exactly?" Valerie asked.

"Well, Miss Osagawara, the Arachnoblast's landing wiped out the town and most of the military personnel stationed here," Dino explained. "It unearthed the ancient ruins built by the first civilization to settle here, the ones who first discovered the Door, and they're now trying their hardest to secure the ruins and wipe out all the remaining military who managed to survive the initial impact. The Nihilator commander Doctor Tarantulas managed to capture another civilian consultant, one Professor Samuel Oak, and is trying to use his knowledge to activate a tower buried underneath the Door."

"A tower?" Valerie asked.

"You'd have to ask Mr. Sketchit here for more information, he worked for the Professor and knows more about it than I do," Dino said, nodding to Tracey.

Valerie turned to the Smeargle. "Mr. Sketchit, any comments?"

Tracey blinked blearily. "Huh? Oh, yeah. Uh, the tower…right, so, when the ancients discovered that the seal created by the Star Badges to lock the Door was weakening, they constructed this massive tower underground to strengthen the seal and keep the Door shut, even if one were to gather all seven Star Badges before it. Doctor Tarantulas and the other Nihilators are trying to reactivate the tower, which will weaken the seal and allow it to be unlocked by the power of the Star Badges."

"Then are we looking at the Nihilators' endgame here?" Valerie asked in alarm. "Should we be preparing ourselves for an invasion from the Abyss?"

"No, no, nothing like that," Tracey assured her. "Even if they activate the tower, they'll still need all seven Star Badges to open the Door. The seal will resume weakening at its original pace without the tower holding it back, yes, but even so it'll still be centuries, if not longer, before it breaks on its own. If they want to open it _now_, they'll need all seven Badges, and at last count they only have four."

"Oblivion's Shadow implied in his recent ultimatum that he's discovered a way to open the Door without the use of the Badges," Valerie said. "Do you have any insight on that?"

Tracey shook his head. "Not a clue. I haven't even _seen_ the ultimatum, I was in the ruins with the Professor at the time so I didn't know anything was going on until the ceiling caved in."

"I see. What is being done to prevent Doctor Tarantulas from achieving his goal?" Valerie asked.

"The Rescue Team Aurabolt arrived along with Lugia and Generals Shinobu and Victini a while ago, and went into the tower in pursuit of Tarantulas and his minions," Dino reported. "I was tasked with getting Mr. Sketchit here to safety, when we ran into you."

"Team Aurabolt? The same heroes who helped make the world aware of the Nihilator threat and have been one of the single biggest threats to their plans?" Valerie asked, perking up.

"The very same," Dino said with a nod. "If all the stories I've heard about them—and judging from the way they could _fight_ on the way to the tower—then I think they can stop Tarantulas. At least, I hope they can."

Valerie nodded. "As do we all, Lieutenant. Do you or any of your companions have anything you'd like to say to the public?"

"Yes," the human skeleton said, shoving his face into the camera and filling the screen with his grotesque skeletal visage. "Booga-booga-booga!"

The skeleton was encased in a blue glow and flung back by an annoyed Valerie. "Any _other_ comments?"

"Yes," Dino said. "We're in pretty bad shape here, so if anyone is watching who's in a position to help, we could really use more backup. So many of us have died already…and more will die now if we don't get more assistance and reinforcements."

"And I want to tell my girlfriend that I'm alive and well, and I'm sorry I haven't called her yet but my cell phone battery died recently and things have been a little hectic over here," Tracey said.

"Riiiight…your _girlfriend_," the human skeleton said.

"She exists, okay!" Tracey snapped.

"Uh-huh. _Suuuure_ she does," the skeleton said, clearly not believing it.

"I'm afraid that's all the information on my end," Valerie said apologetically to the anchors as the inset grew to encompass the whole screen and she shrank until she fit in a small window on the upper-right corner of the screen.

"That's all right, Valerie, keep us posted," Roxy said.

"Will do, Roxy…wait, Grobnar son of Grobnar, what are you doing?!" Valerie cried as a burly Vigoroth in battered armor waving a war flail ran by her towards the crater.

"Giant metal spider squish Grobnar son of Grobnar's Draconian brethren! Grobnar son of Grobnar squish giant metal spider! Raaaaaaaggghhh!" Grobnar son of Grobnar hollered as he charged towards the Arachnoblast.

"Grobnar son of Grobnar, no, you'll get killed!" Valerie shouted after him. She looked at the camera apologetically. "Sorry, I have to take care of this."

"We understand, Valerie. Raising children can be very hard, after all," Roxy, who knew absolutely nothing about that sort of thing since she wasn't a mother of five—well, six, counting Grobnar son of Grobnar—said sympathetically.

"Don't I know it," Valerie muttered. "So, until I deal with this, Valerie Osagawara signing off."

The window with her face in it vanished and the camera focused on the anchors instead. "And that's the latest information from the crisis in Treasure Town," Oli said as an icon of the Arachnoblast standing over the crater appeared in the upper-right corner. "We here at DNN will do our best to keep you viewers informed on this latest offensive from the Nihilator organization."

"And now, the weather!" Roxy said cheerfully.

As the news channel changed subjects, Yamiri shook his head worriedly. "This is not good…this is not good at all…"

"Some of my best pals from boot camp were stationed in Treasure Town," Morty said quietly. "And now they're all gone."

"Some of them might have survived," Yamiri said. "After all, that Lieutenant did."

Morty shook his head. "I guess it's possible, but…I don't think it's likely. Damn those Nihilators! It's almost enough to make me want to request a transfer so I can be part of the contingent that's being sent to Mars!" Several of the other soldiers nodded in agreement. The Haunter sighed. "But…I'm needed here more."

"Do not worry," Yamiri assured the officer. "The villains who killed your comrades will suffer." He frowned and turned to Legion. "And speaking of villains…did you have any hand in this atrocity?"

OF COURSE NOT, ON ACCOUNT OF THE FACT THAT WE HAVE NO HANDS TO BEGIN WITH, Legion said innocently.

Yamiri snarled. "You know what I mean."

WE DO INDEED. BUT, AS MUCH AS WE WOULD LIKE TO TAKE CREDIT FOR IT, WE HAD NO INVOLVEMENT IN THIS ATTACK. OUR COMRADE BELLUM HAD STRONGER TIES TO THE NIHILATORS THAN WE DID. WE FOCUSED MOST OF OUR EFFORTS HERE, ON PREPARING POKÉMON SQUARE FOR ITS DESTRUCTION, WHILE OTHERS WORKED ON OPENING THE DOOR. AND SPEAKING OF WHICH…ANOTHER OF OUR EFFORTS HAS JUST PAID OFF QUITE HANDSOMELY.

Yamiri frowned. "What are you talking about-"

And that's when he fell to the floor in agony, as did everyone in the temple, as did everyone in Pokémon Square, and the Sky Tower, and everyone else for miles and miles around, as a single word reverberated through their minds so loudly and all-encompassingly there was no room for absolutely anything else. "LEGION!"

The skylight shattered as a pillar of white light smashed through it and slammed into the floor, cratering it and causing a shockwave that plastered everyone against the walls, blew out all the candles, shattered all the glass in town, destroyed the pillars closest to her, and caused cracks to run up the statues of the gods. Through a blinding white nimbus, a radiant figure could just barely be made out, blood-red markings standing out sharply against her pure white down, golden eyes blazing with hatred. Legion's many eyes stared passively at the goddess, her wrath so great that the air itself was burning around her. AH, GUARDIAN. WE HAVE BEEN EXPECTING YOU. WE TAKE IT YOU FOUND OUR LITTLE SURPRISE?

Latias shot forwards, pressing her claws and face against the containment sphere holding Legion in place, her teeth elongated and sharpened to serrated points. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?" she shouted, her unchecked telepathic voice loud enough to fill the minds of everyone in town and the surrounding countryside.

WHAT HAVE WE DONE? NOTHING MUCH, GUARDIAN…SIMPLY PLAYED THE WINNING MOVE IN A GAME THAT HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR _EONS_, Legion gloated. BY REMOVING RAYQUAZA FROM THE EQUATION, YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO RESTORE YOUR FULL POWERS, SO CANNOT LEAVE THIS CONTINENT TO HELP DEFEND THE DOOR TO THE ABYSS OR STOP THE IMPENDING INVASION OF POKÉMON SQUARE. WITHOUT RAYQUAZA, YOU WILL BE UNABLE TO STOP THE RULER OF EVIL'S RETURN. WITHOUT RAYQUAZA, YOU AND ARCEUS AND YOUR PRECIOUS GUARDIANS HAVE _FAILED_…AND SOON THE RULER OF EVIL SHALL ARISE ONCE AGAIN, AND YOUR MASTER'S ILLOGICAL GRIP ON THE OMNIVERSE SHALL BE REMOVED FOREVER.

"BRING. HIM. BACK!" Latias roared.

WE CANNOT, NO MORE THAN YOU CAN, Legion said. HE IS LOST TO YOU FOREVER NOW. HE WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO RETURN FROM THE DEPTHS OF WYVERN HILL, NOT NOW THAT THE GATEWAY IS FOREVER SEALED. AND BY THE WAY, YOU MIGHT WANT TO SPEAK WITH YOUR INSIDE VOICE. WOULDN'T WANT TO DESTROY THE MINDS OF YOUR PRECIOUS MORTALS, NOW WOULD YOU?

Latias grinned savagely as she lowered her tone of voice and stopped loudly broadcasting her thoughts into everyone else's minds. "You've miscalculated, Legion. You should have blown up the gateway BEFORE Rayquaza entered it. Now he stands a chance of receiving the power that is meant to be his."

AND WHAT OF IT? EVEN WITH THAT POWER, HIS CHANCES OF ESCAPE ARE VIRTUALLY IMPOSSIBLE.

"'Virtually' isn't the same as 'absolutely,'" Latias said.

AND HIS CHANCES OF EVEN RECEIVING THAT POWER TO BEGIN WITH ARE SLIM. HIS SELF-CONFIDENCE IS TOO LOW. HE DOES NOT HAVE ENOUGH FAITH IN HIS ABILITIES TO PERSEVERE. YOU KNOW AS WELL AS I DO THAT A PART OF HIM STILL DOUBTS HE IS TRULY READY TO BE THE TRUE KING.

"He'll make it," Latias said with complete certainty. "I know he will."

THEN YOU MUST PREPARE YOURSELF TO BE DISAPPOINTED, Legion sneered. EVEN IF, BY SOME MIRACLE, HE PASSES THE TRIALS, AND FINDS A WAY OUT FROM THE INNER SANCTUM…HE STILL WON'T BE READY FOR WHAT'S WAITING FOR HIM, FOR _ALL_ OF YOU IN THE NEAR FUTURE. EVEN THIS EVENTUALITY WE HAVE PLANNED FOR.

"I'll find whatever backup plan you have and destroy it," Latias vowed.

JUST LIKE YOU'VE FOUND AND DESTROYED ALL OF THE REMAINING BARBARIANS, OR THE HIVE QUEEN'S FORCES? Legion asked pointedly.

Latias started. "What do you…" Her eyes widened. "Of course. The reason I haven't been able to sense them is because you gave them pieces of yourself to hide them from my powers."

CORRECT, Legion said smugly.

"While they may be shielded from my sight, they won't be from Zorra's," Latias said.

THAT IS TRUE, BUT HOW DO YOU EXPECT HER TO BE ABLE TO CANVASS AN ENTIRE CONTINENT? Legion said. AND NOT JUST ON THE GROUND, EITHER. YOU WILL HAVE TO SEARCH IN THE SKY, UNDERGROUND, IN THE WATER. EVEN IN PLACES NOT ENTIRELY OF THIS EARTH. WE HAVE PREPARED FOR THIS FOR A VERY, _VERY_ LONG TIME, GUARDIAN. SHE WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO FIND ALL OUR LITTLE SURPRISES IN TIME, NOT EVEN WITH YOUR HELP.

A chill ran down Latias' spine. "…How…how long have you been planning this?"

YOUR MASTER IS NOT THE _ONLY_ ONE WHO CAN PLAY THE LONG GAME, Legion said. WE SEE TIME DIFFERENTLY THAN MOST DO, AFTER ALL. METICULOUSLY PLANNING OUT EVERY DETAIL OF A SCHEME _MILLIONS OF YEARS_ IN THE MAKING IS _CHILD'S PLAY_ FOR US!

"…Then…did you know we would capture you? Did you _allow_ that to happen?!" Latias demanded.

PERHAPS WE DID. PERHAPS NOT. DO YOU REALLY THINK WE'D TELL YOU? Legion asked.

"But if that's the case…why haven't you escaped by now? No, not even you can escape from here. Not on your own, anyway," Latias murmured to herself. "But if you planned for your capture, then you must have some method of escape. Something that hasn't happened yet. Along with whatever else you have in store for us."

PRECISELY. OR MAYBE WE'RE JUST TRYING TO PSYCHE YOU OUT AND WE DON'T HAVE ANYTHING PLANNED, Legion said smugly. BUT CAN YOU REALLY TAKE THE RISK THAT WE DON'T?

"No, I can't," Latias agreed as she floated back from the containment field. "I need to find Zorra. And talk to Sabrina. She might be able to help…" She started, another thought occurring to her. "The reason she's been having trouble seeing into the future as of late…that's your doing too, isn't it?"

MAYBE. MAYBE NOT. EITHER WAY, WE'D BE HAPPY TO TAKE CREDIT FOR IT, Legion said.

"Then maybe…" Latias frowned and shook her head. "No, no, now is not the time to be paranoid and second-guess yourself, Latias. Now is the time for action."

EVERY STEP YOU TAKE WILL ONLY ENSNARE YOURSELF FURTHER IN OUR PLAN, Legion said.

Latias sighed. "That's a risk I'll have to take." She started floating up towards the hole in the skylight…then paused, a thought occurring to her. "Legion, what role does Tempus Fugit of Team Quantum have in your plans?"

JUST ANOTHER UNWITTING PAWN IN OUR SCHEME, Legion said.

A grin formed on Latias' face. "Well, then. Good to know you're not omniscient after all."

WHAT? Legion asked in confusion.

"Team Quantum doesn't have anyone named Tempus Fugit on their roster," Latias said.

NOT _NOW_, BUT THEY MIGHT SOMEDAY, Legion said.

"No, I don't think so. You have no idea who Team Quantum are, do you?" Latias asked.

PERHAPS I DO, AND ONLY PRETENDED OTHERWISE TO GIVE YOU A FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY, Legion said.

"All right then. Tell me who Team Quantum are," Latias said. "If you don't know, then that proves my point. If you do know, it proves yours."

THEY ARE A GROUP OF TIME TRAVELERS, Legion said.

"Not good enough. It's obvious from the name what they do," Latias said. "If you _really_ know who they are, then _tell me their names._ And not just their codenames…their _real names._"

There was a long pause. Legion said nothing. Well, they couldn't say anything anyway, but they didn't spell anything, either. Latias smiled triumphantly. "I didn't think so."

WE COULD BE LULLING YOU INTO A FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY, Legion said.

"If you were, then you wouldn't be telling me that, now would you?" Latias said.

WE WOULD IF WE WANTED TO MESS WITH YOUR HEAD, WHICH WE DO, Legion said.

"Or you're desperately trying to cover up the fact that you aren't as all-knowing as you pretend to be," Latias said. "Interesting. _Very_ interesting…" A thoughtful look on her face, she floated through the big hole in the ceiling.

A second later she poked her head back in, said, "Oh, sorry for the damage Master Yamiri. Let me fix that." Her eyes flashed, and suddenly all the damage she'd caused by her rather violent entry into the temple repaired itself. "There we go." That done, she flew away.

A few minutes later, all the glass in town shattered again as Latios rocketed into Pokémon Square at supersonic speeds, sonic booms trailing in his wake. "Did you see my sister?!" he blurted in the dazed Master Yamiri's face as he smashed through the skylight and made a Combeeline directly for the priest. "I saw her coming this way! Where'd she go?!"

"Sh-she was just here," Master Yamiri, still more than a little off-kilter due to the effects of having Latias' uncontrolled telepathic voice nearly destroying his mind. "She yelled at Legion, and…I think she went off to find Zorra, and then Sabrina."

"What? Crap! Gotta go find her." Latios rocketed out of the temple through the hole in the ceiling. A second later, he poked his head back in. "Oh, and, uh, I'll get my sister to fix this." And then he was gone.

"…What the Abyss just happened?" Morty asked.

Yamiri, his head pounding, frowned. "I don't know…but I think…something went wrong at Wyvern Hill."

THAT IS CORRECT, Legion said. RAYQUAZA IS TRAPPED FOREVER.

"What?! No!" Morty gasped.

"I suppose _this_ is the 'effort' you claimed had paid off handsomely?" Yamiri asked.

IT IS INDEED, said Legion. AND WITH HIM GONE, SO TOO IS YOUR LAST HOPE OF SURVIVING THE COMING STORM.

"Preposterous! His Excellency will find a way back to us!" Morty said.

HAHAHAHAHAHA, Legion spelled out. SPOKEN LIKE ONE WHO IS TRULY FAITHFUL…IN OTHER WORDS, A COMPLETE IDIOT.

"There is nothing wrong with having faith," Yamiri said while Morty growled in fury.

FAITH IS ILLOGICAL, ESPECIALLY WHEN GIVEN TO ONE WHO IS UNDESERVING, Legion said.

"His Excellency is anything _but_ undeserving!" Morty snapped.

IF THAT WERE THE CASE, HE WOULD NOT BE IN THIS MESS TO BEGIN WITH, Legion said.

"Why you-" Morty snarled, starting forward.

Yamiri extended a hand, holding him back. "You are that certain Rayquaza is lost to us?"

WE ARE. WE HAVE MADE CERTAIN OF IT, Legion said.

Yamiri smiled. "Then let us make a wager. If Rayquaza indeed does not return, then I shall release you from your prison myself."

"Wait, WHAT?!" Morty screamed incredulously, staring at Yamiri in horror. "You can't do that!"

"However, _if_ Rayquaza returns, then you must tell us about all the little 'surprises' you've planted around Kanjohenn and how to stop them, as well as what your 'associates' are planning for Pokémon Square and how we can stop it, _and_ how to free Krysta from the prison you put her in," Yamiri said.

A POINTLESS WAGER. WE HAVE PLANNED FOR EVERY EVENTUALITY AND FORESEEN EVERY POSSIBLE FUTURE. WE ALREADY KNOW THAT RAYQUAZA WILL NOT ESCAPE, Legion said.

"In which case, there is no reason for you _not_ to agree, if you are truly so confident that you will win, is there?" Yamiri asked. "Unless, of course, you think there's a chance that you might lose?"

…VERY WELL. WE AGREE TO YOUR BARGAIN. IF YOU WISH TO DOOM YOURSELF, WE HAVE NO PROBLEM HELPING YOU REACH YOUR DEMISE THAT MUCH FASTER, Legion said.

Yamiri nodded. "Then it is a deal."

"What?! NO!" Morty shouted.

"Of course, as an honorable mon of faith, you can trust that I will keep to my side of the bargain," Yamiri said, continuing to ignore Morty. "But how do I know you will keep yours?"

WE ARE BEINGS OF OUR WORD. LITERALLY. WE'RE MADE OF WORDS, Legion said.

Yamiri smiled. "Then it seems we have nothing to worry about."

OH, YOU HAVE _EVERYTHING_ TO WORRY ABOUT, Legion gloated. WE GREATLY LOOK FORWARD TO THE OUTCOME OF THIS WAGER, PRIEST.

"As do I, Legion. As do I," Yamiri said, turning away.

He was immediately beset upon by Morty and the other outraged guards and priests. "What the hell, Yamiri?!" Morty shouted. "What were you thinking?! Aside from the fact that that was an incredibly _stupid_ idea, you don't have the authority to pull something like that! Legion is a prisoner of the Draconian Empire!"

"Yes, being held in _my_ temple," Yamiri countered. "Which, last time I checked, is in Pokémon Square, and therefore sovereign territory, even if your Empire _is_ offering us protection at the moment. As such, within these walls, as High Priest it is _my_ word that is law."

"Well…that may be so," Morty admitted reluctantly. "But how could you agree to a bargain as risky as that?!"

"Morty, do you believe in Rayquaza?" Yamiri asked.

Morty recoiled. "What? Of course I do! What kind of question is that?"

"Then you believe he will find his way back to us?" Yamiri asked.

"Well, yes, but-" Morty started.

"Then there's really no problem, is there?" Yamiri said with a smile.

"I…guess…" Morty said slowly. "But…but how do you even know they'll keep their word? They may be beings made out of words, but words can lie."

"Oh, I don't know if they'll keep their word," Yamiri said cheerfully.

Morty blinked. "Huh? But…but then why did you-"

"Because I want to see the look in their eyes when they get bamboozled by a 'lesser being,'" Yamiri said with a cruel grin. "And besides, even though I _am_, in fact, a mon of my word…one must pay very careful attention to _which _words I use…" Despite himself, a shiver ran down Morty's non-existent spine. He had heard that Yamiri had once been one of the most dangerous mercenaries who had ever lived. He hadn't really paid much heed to that story…until now, that is. Yamiri clapped his hands. "Now, let's clean this mess up, shall we? And I believe you should be getting back to your posts. Current events are no excuse for you to be slacking off on your duties."

With a groan, everyone dispersed. As Yamiri prepared to follow them—just because he was the High Priest didn't mean he couldn't get down and dirty with his acolytes now and then, after all—Legion spelled out, YOU WILL LOSE, YOU KNOW. YOU ALL WILL.

Yamiri grinned, revealing his many razor-sharp teeth, strong enough to chew through minerals and gemstones. "We shall see, Legion. We shall see."

…

Elsewhere…

"_Awaken."_

"Ohhh…"

"_Awaken."_

"Wha…who…who is…"

"_Awaken."_

"All right, all right, I'm up! Ugh…my head…" Rayquaza groaned as he sat up, rubbing his aching head. "What…happened? Where…" He started and did a double-take at his surroundings. "Where…where am I?!"

Rayquaza found himself in what looked like the depths of space, with strange and unfamiliar stars surrounding him and the colored shades of Dragon Pokémon—and creatures that looked like Dragons, but no Pokémon he recognized—swirling about. Before him was a monolithic stone statue of Rayquaza that spiraled up and up away from him, stairs carved into its back, before terminating in a massive head whose nose was gently touching the edge of a platform held in its claws before it, a pair of great wings spreading out from its back. A pair of constellations hung behind the statue, one of which resembled Latias, and the other…looked sort of like Latias too, but smaller, and…different somehow, in a way he couldn't quite pick out. She looked very familiar for some reason. The platform in the statue's clutches was round, with the image of a winged dragon clutching a heart in one claw coiled on the floor around a dais surrounded by emerald flames. Perched on a pedestal in the center of the dais was a brilliant jade star, its light bathing the whole strange space in green radiance.

Rayquaza recognized the star at once, even though he had only beheld it—and _eaten_ it-once before. "The Jade Orb…" he whispered. He started, suddenly remember what he was doing here. "That's right! I entered the statue mouth in the shrine at Wyvern Hill…and then there was an explosion, and now I'm…here…" Perplexed, he looked around. He was standing on a stone walkway leading to the tail of the great statue, and the beginning of the staircase which wound its way up the stone Rayquaza's back, between its wings, over its head and down its nose to the platform. He turned, and was alarmed to note that behind him, the walkway went a few meters…and stopped, a jagged edge indicating that once there had been something more there, but now there wasn't. He frowned, seeing no way off of this floating path except to go forwards, towards the statue…or to fall into the starry abyss. "How did I get here? And how do I get out?"

"_A simple question, with a difficult answer."_

Rayquaza started. "Gah! Who said…" He paused. "Wait. I know that voice…"

"_As well you should. It would not do well for you not to recognize your own voice."_

"You're me!" Rayquaza gasped. "Er. The other me! The super-godly part, I mean. The part I'm here to reclaim!"

"_That is correct."_

Rayquaza looked around. "Er…but where are you?"

"_I am the Jade Orb. It is the physical manifestation of all your godly might, your divine birthright, your destiny."_

"Ah. Then I'd better come up there and collect you, shouldn't I?" Rayquaza said.

The voice of the Orb sighed. _"A task easier said than done."_

"Oh, right, I have to complete those Trials first, don't I?" Rayquaza recalled.

"_You must…but that is not the only problem. You recall that explosion that knocked you out?"_

Rayquaza frowned. "Oh yeah, that thing. What was that, anyway?"

"_The Unown conglomerate you call 'Legion' planted a trap in the entry to this sacred place centuries ago, the last time the doorway was open. When you tried to pass through the gateway, the trap went off, casting you in here…and destroying the way back."_

Rayquaza frowned. "What? Then…I'm stuck here?! And where is 'here' anyway?"

"_This is the sacred place we created long ago, a repository for our power should anything ever happen to us,"_ the Orb's voice said.

"I thought that was supposed to be inside Wyvern Hill," said Rayquaza. "This…doesn't look like Wyvern Hill."

"_We are within Wyvern Hill, and we are not. We are a step removed from the universe you know, but not quite in the next one over."_

"So…what, a place between places?" Rayquaza asked.

"_It is a little more complicated than that, but that is one way of looking at it, yes."_

"And…I'm stuck here," Rayquaza said, shoulders sagging. "Wait! But if I created this place when I was, well, _me_…the real me…then maybe once I have my power back, I can-"

"_Reopen the path back to your world?"_ the Orb said. _"Unfortunately, even with your full powers restored, it will not be sufficient to return to the world you left. The way has been destroyed."_

"What? Can't I just…I don't know, create a new exit?" Rayquaza asked.

"_That is within our power,"_ the Orb agreed. _"However, it is not so simple. Do you know which way your world is from here?"_

"Well, sure! It's…uh…" Rayquaza paused. "…I'm guessing saying its back the way I came is the wrong answer, isn't it?"

"_I am afraid so. Remember, we are not quite in Wyvern Hill. We are not even in your universe, not exactly. While you could open a path out of this place once you regain your true power…without knowing the right direction to travel in, there's a good chance you will find yourself not only on a different world, but in a different _universe._ And while we should be able to navigate our way back to your world of origin once we are free of this place—such an ability being but one of many you shall regain—it might take some time, depending on where we end up. And time is not on our side."_

"No," Rayquaza murmured with a frown. "It isn't. So you're saying you don't know the way back, either? Don't you have that…navigational sense you just described?"

"_I do, but it doesn't work in here because we aren't in an actual universe but somewhere…out of phase, so to speak,"_ the Orb said. _"The gateway served as an anchor back to your world, as well as an exit. With it destroyed, however, we are set adrift among the cosmic tide, like so much flotsam in the sea."_

"Wait, then we're _not_ under Wyvern Hill anymore?!" Oak cried.

"_Oh, we are. But we also aren't. It's complicated," _the Orb said.

"I gathered as much," Rayquaza said dryly. "I suppose this is another one of those things that'll make sense once I'm a god again?"

"_Indubitably."_

"Why didn't I know it beforehand?" Rayquaza asked. "The last time I had you inside of me, I mean?"

"_The power transfer between our 'selves' the last time was imperfect due to the dark magic used by Bellum, Giratina, and Legion,"_ the orb explained. _"This time, there shall be no such problem. You shall receive the full power that you were always meant to have…and more, besides that. The power to save the world."_

"And to be with Latias," Rayquaza said. "But I need to pass those Trials to get to you first."

"_Precisely."_

"I don't suppose we could just, you know, skip the Trials? You know, due to extenuating circumstances?" Rayquaza asked.

"_I'd love to, but unfortunately in my current state I do not have the power to forego them,"_ the Orb said apologetically. _"At the present, I am power, but lack the body or ability to use it."_

"But I do," Rayquaza said.

"_Precisely."_

Rayquaza sighed. "Well, on the plus side, if I fail any test I can just retake it right away, can't I? I mean, since I can't exactly _leave_ and all."

"_That would seem to be the case, yes. That is one upside to this mess we've found ourselves in."_

Rayquaza grunted. "Then I guess we should get started, since I don't exactly have anywhere else to be. Or rather, I _do_, but I'm going to need your help to do that. Unless there's any chance of a rescue?"

"_I'm afraid not, no,"_ the Orb said regretfully. _"This realm can only be breached by our power. Latias cannot get in here, nor can anyone else short of Palkia or Arceus. And possibly Mew."_

"And they won't be showing up anytime soon," Rayquaza said.

"_Doubtful."_

"What about Nuken's daughter, Lily? She has some of our power due to the ritual all those years ago," Rayquaza said.

"_She may have our power, but she does not yet fully know how to use it. And she can't get in here for the same reason you can't easily get back: the way is closed, and she doesn't know _where_, dimensionally speaking, we are. She might be able to find us, but it would take time, which, as you know, we don't have."_

"Of course not, because that would be too _easy," _Rayquaza growled. "What the heck were we thinking when we set up this place?!"

"_It never occurred to us that something like this might happen, I suppose,"_ the Orb said.

"Once we get out of here, we're going to have to come up with a better way for us to get back together if we're separated again in the future than this. If this wasn't such a complicated process, we could have saved everyone a lot of trouble," Rayquaza said.

"_Agreed,"_ the Orb said.

"Of course, first we actually need to figure a way out of here…" Rayquaza said. "Any ideas on how we can find our way home from here on the first try, rather than having to make our way back from some other planet or universe?"

"_There might be _one_ way,"_ the Orb said.

"I'm listening," Rayquaza said, ears perking up at this.

"_With the gateway gone, we've lost the anchor to your world. While we're still technically under Wyvern Hill—and at the same time, not—with that anchor gone, the part of us that's under Wyvern Hill is growing less and less by the second, and eventually will be gone altogether. We need to establish a new anchor before that happens, or we're not going to be able to get home from here, not easily."_

"Okay. How do we make a new anchor?" Rayquaza asked.

"_Everything in reality is bound together by ties of love. Arceus' love for His creation, and our love for each other,"_ the Orb said. _"And who do we love more than anyone else?"_

"Latias," Rayquaza breathed.

"_Precisely. Well, and our daughter, but she's in the Celestial Heavens—or at least, she'd BETTER be—and that's a lot further away from here, but we don't want to go there anyway, so yes, we need Latias."_

"We can make her into an anchor to get us home?" Rayquaza asked.

"_Yes, but only if you move quickly. The more time passes by, the weaker our connection to your world gets. So you need to reunite with me as soon as possible, before we drift from Wyvern Hill completely. Once that' s happened, not even our love for Latias will be able to get us home. Well, not instantly, anyway. But even if you _do_ make it in time, the process will be very difficult, and there's a chance it won't work. However, since our only other option is to set out from here in some random direction, I'm afraid that's our best shot."_

"I don't have time to travel from world to world in search of home…all right, let's get started," Rayquaza said. "What do I need to do?"

"_There are five trials you must pass before you can reclaim me, representing some of the most important parts of a dragon's body and spirit: Tail, Wings, Claws, Head, and Heart."_

Rayquaza frowned. "I don't have wings, claws, or a tail. Well, not much of them, anyway."

"_The tests don't actually involve those body parts. The names are symbolic…or something. You're right, I'm not completely sure what we were thinking when we made them," _the Orb said.

Rayquaza glanced at the tail tip in front of him. "I'm guessing I start with the Trial of the Tail, and have to take each successive Trial as I climb further up the body until I reach you?"

"_Yes, and when you do, you must complete the Trial of the Heart…the most difficult of them all."_

"Naturally." Rayquaza rubbed his nubs together. "All right, then. Let's get to it. Latias is waiting for us."

He walked towards the foot of the staircase, ready to begin his first test.

…

Meanwhile, on Mars…

Gardevoir's eyes shot open, and she rose from her bed. She could not hear Cresselia's screams, but she was certain they were going on at that very second. There was no time to lose.

_Hey, Gardevoir! Welcome back to the land of the wakeful! How was your…wait…hold on a second…_ Kevin said as all of the memories of Gardevoir's latest meeting with her mysterious friend were distributed to the entire network. …_H-holy CRAP…_

_OhmiArceus, I was right all along!_ Lovrina squealed. _Gardevoir IS in love with Oblivion's Shadow!_

_I am not, nor will I ever be_, Gardevoir snapped. _Oblivion's Shadow is _NOT_ Mewtwo!_

_He most certainly is not, _the Teacher agreed. _Fascinating…at last, we know our enemy's true identity…but there are still many questions left to answer…_

_I'm going to see if I can rip those answers from his skull,_ Gardevoir said as she started walking towards the shielded exit to her cell.

_Gardevoir, I would not recommend this course of action-_ the Teacher started.

_With utmost respect, I must disagree, Teacher. Cresselia needs my help. I have sat in here and done nothing while countless Pokémon, including many of my beloved children, have suffered. That ends NOW,_ Gardevoir said.

_B-but we aren't prepared! _One of the guards stammered.

_As strong as we are thanks to all the new vampires filling our ranks, we still aren't ready to begin the revolution!_ A janitor agreed.

_You don't have to. I intend to fight Oblivion's Shadow right now. The rest of you are to do nothing, _Gardevoir ordered. _That way, if I fail—which I acknowledge is a possibility—none of you will suffer any fallout from my defeat. If I _WIN_, however, the Nihilators will be leaderless, giving all of you the opportunity you need to start the revolution._

…_That is a very bold and reckless plan, Gardevoir. I am not certain I approve of this,_ the Teacher said._ I had hoped we could wait a little longer to consolidate our forces, or for reinforcements to arrive from Earth, as surely they must soon. However…I can see you are resolved to this course of action, no matter what I say, aren't you?_

_That is correct,_ Gardevoir said.

_Then do as you will. However, you will not receive any aid from us,_ the Teacher said._ As you pointed out, we cannot have any of this reflect back on us._

_Understood,_ Gardevoir said.

_W-wait a minute! _The vampiric Doduo said. _If you lose, what if Oblivion's Shadow decides to target us out of retribution for your actions?_

_Then only the handful of vampires he has in his labs will die,_ Gardevoir said. _He has no idea how many of us have infiltrated his ranks._

…_Th-that's a bit harsh, don't you think, Mistress?_ Lovrina asked in alarm.

_It's not exactly like death is something for us to worry about in the long term,_ _thanks to the network, _the dead vampire Nosepass pointed out. _And if some of us die, so long as our souls are still around we can just get new bodies or something. That was the plan, right?_

_That was the plan,_ Kevin agreed. _There's plenty of stuff lying around we can use to clone new bodies, especially in the Doc's lab, and even more in Oblivion's Shadow's lab too, or so I'm guessing._

…_I guess so…_ the Doduo said uneasily.

_It goes against every fiber of our beings to let you do this alone, Mistress,_ a recent convert, a Nihilator rookie who had yet to receive any Shadow Pokémon treatments, said sadly. _But if that is your wish, then we have no choice but to comply._

_Thank you,_ Gardevoir said. _I would hate for any of you to have to suffer anymore than you already have because of me. Too many have been hurt already…_

_Gardevoir,_ the Teacher said._When you confront the Shadow, what do you intend to do?_

_I don't want to kill him,_ Gardevoir confessed. _Not his body, anyway. After all, Mewtwo is in there too. If there were some way for me to destroy his Oblivion's Shadow persona, I might be able to free him._

_Any idea on how to do that?_ Kevin asked.

_Not really,_ Gardevoir admitted. _Short of beating him into a coma. As strong as my mind is, his is still stronger. I don't believe I can break it on my own._

_Maybe Mewtwo will fight from within?_ Lovrina suggested. _That would be so romantic!_

_Perhaps,_ Gardevoir said. _We'll find out when I fight him, won't we now?_

_I will think on it. I wish you would wait so we had more time to formulate a plan of action that utilized this new information you have provided, but you have already made your decision. Good luck, Gardevoir,_ said the Teacher.

_Good luck, Gardevoir,_ said all her friends.

_Good luck, Mistress!_ Said all the vampires.

Gardevoir smiled. _Thank you. I think I am going to need it._ She closed her eyes, took a deep breath…

And, tapping into the incredible well of dark power coiled within her, shattered the psionic inhibitor wrapped around her brow with a single thought.

Instantly, alarm klaxons started to blare. Half a dozen incredibly thick shutters made of pure silver slammed shut across the entryway, and the lights on the ceiling brightened, their UV output rising until it was at least twenty times that of sunlight on Earth. Her skin started to sizzle in places. She didn't even notice. Yes, it hurt, but she had suffered far worse pain than this by now. She walked towards the sealed doorway, releasing a pulse of dark power as she went that shattered the lights, casting the room into a comfortable darkness. She grinned as the lights went out, feeling stronger already.

Hidden turrets emerged from recessed cavities in the walls and ceiling and swiveled to target the vampire queen. A high-pitched hum filled the air as powerful electromagnetic fields came online inside the railgun mechanisms and fired several thousand silver flechette rounds at her heart. She didn't even break step. Her eyes glowed as she walked, and the silver projectiles froze in midair around her. They melted and fused together to form fluid discs of metal that she expertly spun around her, deflecting and/or absorbing every last round until finally the turrets ran out of ammunition and paused for a moment to reload.

Gardevoir didn't give them the chance. With another flash of her eyes, the turrets were ripped out of their emplacements and telekinetically crumpled into balls of scrap, which she spun around like remote-controlled wrecking balls, smashing apart everything in the room. As pleasant as it had been, it had still been a prison, and one she never wanted to see again.

There was a hum, and Gardevoir suddenly felt herself growing exponentially heavier as the chamber's gravity was dialed up to one hundred and fifty times that Earth's own. The floor cratered and dimpled as her feet were pushed down into it. Gritting her teeth, she exerted all her will to lift one foot. It lifted. Then it went back down, cratering the floor in front of her. Then she lifted another foot, and crashed it down in the floor a little ahead of the other one. In this way, she continued towards the door, her progress slowed down somewhat by the heightened gravity, but she refused to let it stop her. She even managed to remain standing upright! (Okay, it was putting a lot of strain on her vertebrae, but she was sure it would mend itself after she'd left the room and was back in more comfortable gravity.)

Holes slid open in the walls and started pumping gas into the room. This didn't particularly bother Gardevoir, however, since she didn't need to breathe anymore. The spark that followed immediately after that ignited the gas and turned the room into a furnace was of slightly higher concern…or at least it might have been, if she hadn't surrounded herself in a shield just in time. The flames roared against her barrier and pushed on her defenses, but were otherwise not worth her even acknowledging.

Passing through the fire and flames, she reached the first of the solid silver security shutters locking her in. The silver disks still orbiting her flowed together and crystallized, turning into a sword. She grabbed it in one hand, ignoring how it burned her, and with her other hand gripped her knee and, with a small grunt of pain, pulled out another sword that looked like it had been crafted from one of her leg bones. In fact, it _was_ one of her leg bones, but her leg regenerated itself as soon as she'd pulled her improvised weapon out of it, so she didn't have to worry about limping or anything like that. Darkness rushed up the blade from her hand, wreathing it in shadow.

Turning her attention back to the doors, Gardevoir crossed her swords before her, and then sliced them through the air about half a dozen times, not seeming to hit anything. There was a pause, and then the shutter fell to the floor in pieces, followed by the one behind it, and the one behind it, and the one behind it, and so on. Now the only thing standing between her and freedom was the solar energy field, which her senses calculated was now pumping out a hundred times as much energy as sunlight on Earth, enough to give even her pause.

Which was why she didn't bother trying to walk through it, but instead hurled her silver sword through the field. Since it wasn't made of dark or vampiric matter, it wasn't hindered in the slightest. Her eyes glowing, she telekinetically grabbed the sword and steered it back towards her, but intead of having it fly back into her hand, she drove it into the wall right next to the shielded exit, piercing one of the power conduits generating the solar energy field. The barrier flickered, but did not fall. Gardevoir wasn't surprised; she had expected there to be multiple redundancies. Too bad they weren't prepared for her to telekinetically grab the sword again and pull it up and around and down again, slicing through the wall and cleaving through any power cables or conduits in its path. She even cut through a portion of the floor right in front of her cell door, just to be thorough.

However, even after cutting in a ragged circle all the way around the barrier, the solar energy field still wouldn't fall. Gardevoir frowned at this…then smirked, getting another idea. Gathering her power, she mentally shoved at the barrier. The energy field didn't react…but the wall surrounding it, already weakened by Gardevoir's blade, _did¸ _and the whole thing was ripped out from the rest of the wall and slammed into the opposite side of the corridor. The flames from the gas explosion, no longer contained in the room, rushed out to scorch the corridor, and Gardevoir calmly strode out in their midst, a smile gracing her lovely features. At last, she was free.

Well, not entirely. She still had work to do. Ignoring the spray from the sprinklers raining down from the ceiling to extinguish the fires, Gardevoir strode down the hallway. She paused by the silver sword, now rather bent and dented by her telekinetic abuse of it, but eventually decided to just leave it there, knowing the Shadow might try to use it against her. With a thought, the sword liquefied and seeped into the floor. She then bit her hand, breaking the skin and causing blood to drip out. She lowered her arm, allowing the blood to flow downwards…and, at her will, solidified and shaped itself to form a crimson blade. She swiped it through the air a few times, mentally changing its shape until its weight and balance satisfied her, and then continued on her way.

There were many other traps in her way, but she circumvented them with ease; unleashing waves of Psychic force and Dark energy with every step that smashed up everything around her, putting out the lights, tearing up the paneling, and frying the circuits running through the walls. She also took pleasure in completely destroying any complex machinery she came across, delighting in the way the imprisoned souls contained in many of them danced joyously around her before flying off to realms beyond this, and to far better places than this hell, or so Gardevoir hoped. Everywhere she went, she left darkness and destruction in her wake. Something followed her in that darkness, but if she was aware of it, she gave no sign.

It didn't take her too long to find Oblivion's Shadow. She could sense his presence quite easily. She could feel his raw power, hear his heartbeat, smell the blood in his veins, and taste his ragged emotions. She could sense some other living Pokémon trapped elsewhere in the facility, but she resolved to save them later. There was a second life-force near the Shadow's, a radiant and beautiful one…that was suffering horribly, and only moments away from being snuffed out. (There was another life-force also suffering very close, but that one confused her, it seemed like it was constantly dying and being born. What was that all about?) She didn't have much time left to save it.

That didn't mean she couldn't make a stylish entrance, of course. She was a vampire queen, after all. That sort of thing was expected of her. So when she blasted the doors to the dome-shaped chamber Oblivion's Shadow and Cresselia were in open with a wave of Psychic force, swarms of black bat-like Pokémon streaming out before her to fill the room with their screeching and flapping wings, shadows lengthening and stretching out to dim or blot out the lights, striding in casually like she owned the place with her red gown clinging sensually to her form and accentuating her curves and shouted, "OBLIVION'S SHADOW!", the stunned reaction her nemesis gave as he dropped a battered, broken, and bloody Cresselia to the ground told her she'd made the right choice.

"G-Gardevoir?!" the Shadow stammered incredulously, so shocked he forgot to engage his mask's usual voice-changing properties. "How…how did you-"

Before he could regain his composure, or even finish his sentence, Gardevoir flicked her wrists, hurling both her swords at him. The blades ran him through and knocked him off his feet, slamming him into the wall, the swords impaled through his chest nailing him to the surface. Before he could pull himself off, Gardevoir's bat minions descended on him, covering him in their writhing, shrieking mass. He cried out and flailed, lashing out instinctively with his Psychic powers, but they were made from Dark matter, and so his mind had no effect on them.

With the fiend distracted, Gardevoir rushed over to the crumpled form of Cresselia lying on the ground, blood oozing all over the place. The vampire queen winced when she saw the damage Oblivion's Shadow had done to her. Her wings had been ripped off, her crest and beak were broken, one of her eyes had been gouged out, she was covered in lacerations and bruises, and from the swollen shape of her head she was pretty sure Oblivion's Shadow had been trying to use his Psychic powers to explode her head from within. The lunar goddess coughed up blood and glared at Gardevoir through her bloodshot good eye. "Took your…time…getting here…"

Gardevoir grimaced. Perhaps she had been enjoying using her powers to their fullest a little too much. She probably could have moved a little faster. So much for not letting anyone else get hurt. "I'm here now," she said, pushing her guilt away for the time being, as well as fighting down the instinct to feed on the delicious-smelling blood oozing from the wounded goddess in droves. "I'm going to stop him. But first, let me heal-"

There was a tremendous explosion of Shadow Aura, vaporizing the bats and knocking Gardevoir back. Oblivion's Shadow, blazing with black Aura, wrenched himself off of the wall, ripping the swords out of his chest and flinging them at Gardevoir. She caught them telekinetically inches before they could go through her skull, but almost didn't react in time to Teleport out of the way before Oblivion's Shadow could strike her with a massive dark Aura Sphere that destroyed the wall behind her in a massive explosion. She reappeared standing over Cresselia protectively, holding her swords out before her. "Gardevoir," the Shadow hissed, not even bothering to disguise his voice. There was no point, not now that she knew his true identity. "You should be in your cell. How did you escape? I took every precaution!"

"Clearly not enough," she shot back. "I told you I had grown more powerful, Shadow. Clearly you didn't heed my warning…just as you apparently didn't notice the alarms as I broke out and destroyed at least half of your laboratory on the way here. I guess you were _really_ getting off on hurting poor Cresselia here, huh?"

The Shadow stiffened. "My lab?! You…do you have _any_ idea what you've done?!"

"Not really," Gardevoir admitted. "But if it makes you angry…then I'd happily do it again. Or even wreck the rest of your lab. I have every intention of doing just that, actually…after I defeat you."

"You fool. Even knowing who and what I am, you would still challenge me?" the Shadow snarled. "I was created from the blood of gods. I was made to _surpass_ the gods! I am the strongest Pokémon of all!"

"Well then," Gardevoir said, her gown splitting apart into blood-red bat wings and revealing her armored form underneath. "Let's put that to the test, shall we?"

"What then, do you intend to kill me? Even knowing that the mon you love resides within me?" the Shadow scoffed.

"Kill you? Tempting, but no, I don't want to kill Mewtwo," Gardevoir admitted. "Beating you into a coma so that he can reassert control should suffice, though. I'm sure he'll forgive me later."

"That will never come to pass," the Shadow spat. "This body is mine. He is too weak for it. He doesn't _deserve_ it!"

Gardevoir licked her lips. "I very much look forward to proving you wrong."

"Hmmph. If that is your desire. May I ask one concession, however?" the Shadow asked. "While I know you don't really care about what might happen to my laboratory, it will be difficult for either of us to fight to our fullest extent within these confines. Not only that, but there's a chance our battle might harm some of my other prisoners, which I'm fairly certain is something you don't want."

"What makes you say that? I had no problem with you killing all those children the other day," Gardevoir pointed out.

"You rushed over here to help Cresselia. That implies to me that you haven't _completely_ lost your empathy for other Pokémon," the Shadow said.

"You're one to talk about empathy, monster. How do you know I didn't just come over here because I wanted to fight you?" Gardevoir asked.

"If that were the case, why didn't you do it before now?" the Shadow asked.

"Perhaps I was just waiting until I was strong enough?" Gardevoir suggested.

"Perhaps," the Shadow said. "But we both know that's the case, don't we, Gardevoir?"

He had her there. "So what are you suggesting, precisely? That we relocate elsewhere?"

"Precisely," the Shadow said.

Gardevoir scoffed. "You must think me a fool. Any place you choose to fight will obviously have an advantage in your favor."

"I don't hear any better ideas," the Shadow said.

"I have one," Gardevoir said. "Let's not do battle anywhere in this fortress of yours. As you said, we wouldn't be able to use our full powers in this enclosed space. Why don't we go outside?"

"Outside?" the Shadow asked in surprise.

"Certainly. Plenty of space out there," Gardevoir said.

"You aren't bothered by the fact that there will be sunlight out there?" the Shadow asked.

"If I was able to escape from my cell, do you _really_ think the amount of sunlight there will be outside will bother me too much?" Gardevoir asked.

The Shadow considered this. "This is true," he said grudgingly. "But how do I know you will not try to escape?"

"Where would I escape to?" Gardevoir asked. "Last time I checked, we were on _Mars._ There's nothing and nobody else out there. And certainly no way for me to leave this world." Well, that wasn't entirely true, she _could_ always turn to the Martian remnants for aid, but she wasn't supposed to know they existed.

The Shadow gave her a suspicious look. "And how, pray tell, did you know we were on _Mars?_"

Uh-oh. Had she misspoken? Had the Shadow ever mentioned where they were before? She couldn't recall. Realizing she might have accidentally confirmed her ties to the rebels that the Shadow suspected but didn't actually know existed, Gardevoir quickly bluffed, "I thought it was common knowledge. Chobin mentioned it during one of his and Tarantulas' experiments on me."

"Ugh…that Sunflora…" the Shadow snarled. "If I didn't need that brain of his…very well. We shall hold our duel outside. But do not think this will give you an edge, either. You cannot defeat me, and even if you did, you're still trapped here. I doubt you know how to use any of my ships, and you would have to fight through my entire army to reach them."

"If I can beat _you_," Gardevoir pointed out. "Then your army won't pose much of a challenge."

"We shall see. I have made a small opening in the anti-teleport field surrounding the base. We shall both Teleport outside at the same time, so neither of us can get a jump on the other," the Shadow said.

"I don't know where outside to Teleport to, though," Gardevoir pointed out.

A holographic screen came to life, displaying a barren, featureless plain of rocks and red dust, dust clouds swirling through the air as a distant, pale Sun shone down from the red sky. The image suddenly changed to a bird's-eye-view and zoomed out until the slopes of Coronet Mons could be seen in the bottom-right corner. "We are here," the Shadow said, a flashing dot appearing on the massive extinct volcano. "And I propose we fight here." Another dot appeared all the way in the upper left corner.

"You chose that spot," Gardevoir said suspiciously. "How do I know there's not a trap there?"

"You don't," the Shadow said. "But I know every inch of this planet, so there's nowhere we could go where I wouldn't have the advantage of knowledge of the terrain. Take it or leave it."

She was fairly sure he was lying. If he _really_ knew every inch of the planet, then how had he not found the Martian remnants by now? "I don't suppose we could teleport to the opposite side of the planet?" Gardevoir asked, not ready to yield the point just yet. "Somewhere that's _not_ in line of sight of this place, and the many weapons you no doubt have mounted on the outside walls?"

"Can you actually teleport that far?" the Shadow asked skeptically. "I know I can, but are you really that strong?"

"Care to find out?" Gardevoir asked with a grin. She wasn't certain herself, actually, but it was worth a try.

With a shrug, the Shadow expanded and reshaped the map until it was a spherical representation of Mars. He spun it and indicated a spot on the exact opposite side of the planet from their current position. "Will this place suffice?"

Gardevoir was about to say yes…and then paused, a brilliant idea suddenly coming to her. Striding forwards, she pointed to a seemingly random spot several thousand miles away from the place the Shadow had indicated. "How about here?"

The Shadow gave her a perplexed look. "Why there?"

Gardevoir shrugged. "Why not there? It's almost as far from the base, and if you _really _know every inch of this planet, then one place is as good as any other, isn't it?"

"…I suppose so," the Shadow said reluctantly, clearly suspicious. As well he should be. The spot she had chosen was about a hundred or so kilometers away from an outpost the Martian survivors were using, one she was fairly certain the Shadow hadn't known about. If she found herself indeed unable to win the battle, then theoretically she should be able to call on their help to escape the Shadow, and she was fairly certain it couldn't be traced back to the rebellion.

At least, she didn't _think_ it could. _Teacher…_

_I am discussing it with the Martians. I will inform you of their decision, _the Teacher said.

_All right,_ Gardevoir said.

_Do not worry, Gardevoir. We have no intention of allowing you to die out there,_ the Teacher said.

_Although if you _did_ die, that would mean I get to be Queen of the Vampires…_ Lovrina mused.

_For the love of Arceus, don't die! DON'T DIE!_ Kevin screamed.

_I will do my best not to,_ Gardevoir said. "Well?" she asked out loud.

"…I cannot think of a reason not to go there," the Shadow said reluctantly. He felt certain she was up to something, but he couldn't figure it out. As far as he knew, there was nothing of particular interest in that area…so why was he so certain she had chosen it for a reason? Deciding to test her, he said, "Although…what about this spot?" he asked, pointing to another place on the map at random. "If any place is as good as any other, what about here?"

Hiding her alarm, Gardevoir shrugged and said. "I suppose it would work. But is there any reason you don't want to go to the place I picked?"

"I never said I didn't want to go there," the Shadow said.

"Then why did you pick a different place?" Gardevoir asked.

"Why did you pick _that_ place?" the Shadow asked.

Damn. This wasn't working. Thinking quickly, she said, "All right, how about a compromise? Halfway between my choice and yours?"

"You mean…here?" the Shadow asked, pointing to another spot.

"Sure. Why not?" It wasn't ideal, a lot further from the Martian outpost than she had hoped, but if they agreed to help they would still be able to reach her relatively quickly…just not as quickly as she would have liked.

"Well…" the Shadow said, uncertain.

"Oh, for the love of…will the two of you just get going, already?!" Cresselia shouted in exasperation. "Watching you two argue is almost as painful as my bleeding out here! Stop talking and _get to it_ already! Or make out. Or heal me. Either's fine."

"…Hmmph. She has a point," the Shadow admitted grudgingly.

"I'm _not_ making out with you," Gardevoir said flatly.

"I meant that we should get going," the Shadow snapped, flustered. "The place you suggested as a compromise will work."

"Then let's go," Gardevoir said. She paused, and then glanced at Cresselia. "I don't suppose I could just-"

"If you want to heal her, you will have to deal with me first," the Shadow said.

Gardevoir sighed. "Very well. So, we Teleport at the same time?"

"On three," the Shadow said.

Gardevoir nodded. "All right. One."

Instantly, both of them Teleported. Cresselia burst into laughter, but stopped because it hurt too much. She coughed up some more blood. "Heh. Those two are made for each other. And speaking of soulmates…"

"Right here, honey-bunch," Darkrai said, rising from her shadow. He looked down at her broken form sorrowfully. "Oh, beloved. I'll make him pay for this. I swear it."

"You can have what's left of him after I'm through with him," Cresselia said weakly. "I take it you're here to rescue me, then, while the Big Bad Shadow's away?"

"Sorry, but I still can't save you," Darkrai said apologetically. He nodded towards the dark doorway through which Gardevoir had entered. "My friend here, on the other hand…"

The shadows didn't part so much as extrude a portion of themselves forward, a portion that gradually peeled back the further it got from the door to reveal a humanoid Espeon with blue fur, black armor with red trim, a long scarf resembling Zubat wings, a sword of pure darkness, and glowing red goggles pulled halfway down his face to resemble a sort of mask. He nodded respectfully to Darkrai and Cresselia as he crossed the room towards them.

Cresselia narrowed her remaining eye in recognition. "The Solar Boy Jango, the legendary Vampire Hunter…or rather, Black Jango. How'd you get _him_ on your payroll?"

"He owed me a little debt," Darkrai said. Jango glared at him. "Weeeeeellllll, okay, more like blackmail. But for a good cause. I'll give his friend back as soon as he gets you and the others out of here."

"What others?" Cresselia asked grimly.

Darkrai blinked. "Huh? What are you talking about? You know, Ho-Oh, Mesprit, Jirach…" He hesitated, and then slowly looked around the room. Much to his alarm, the cell where Mesprit had been kept was empty, and the Millennium Comet-fueled apparatus that had suspended Jirachi in the center of the chamber of the room was gone as well. Only Ho-Oh remained, still screaming in agony as she was endlessly killed and reborn again. "Wait a minute. Where are they?!"

Cresselia sighed. "The Shadow moved them this morning. I don't know where to."

"WHAT?! FUCK!" Darkrai swore. "Can you find them?!"

"Not unless they're sleeping," Cresselia said. "Which, right now, I'm fairly certain they aren't."

"Shit. Okay, Jango, change of plans," Darkrai said. "I need you to go and find-"

"He'll never find them. Not in time," Cresselia interrupted.

"We have plenty of time. Gardevoir will distract the Shadow, that should buy us enough time to find them," Darkrai said.

"Darkrai, I've never left this room since I got here, but I know that this laboratory is MASSIVE," Cresselia said. "And Mesprit and Jirachi aren't the only ones being held here. It will take Jango, even with his vampiric senses, far too long to find and free them all before the Shadow finishes with Gardevoir and returns."

"He might not come back," Darkrai said. "She might beat him."

Cresselia narrowed her eye at him. "Do you _really_ think that will happen?"

"I…okay, I guess the odds are pretty slim…" Darkrai said unhappily. "But…but I can't leave them here! This is what I've been planning for all this time! If we can save Jirachi and Mesprit, he's finished, there's no way he can go through with whatever he's planning!"

"Can you really be certain of that?" Cresselia argued. "The Shadow is _Mewtwo_, after all. I wouldn't be surprised if he had some kind of contingency plan even if they were released."

"You don't know that…" Darkrai said.

"And you don't know that he doesn't, either," Cresselia said. "Darkrai, I don't want to leave them either. They're my friends. But if you take me out of here, then your contract with the Shadow will be nullified, and you will at last be free to act directly against him. Then we can come back and save everyone, with the full weight of the Lunar Armada at our backs."

"…I can't say that doesn't sound tempting," Darkrai admitted. "But…to just take you and leave the others…well, except for Ho-Oh, I guess…it seems…wrong."

"Darkrai, last night Mesprit told me that today would be the day when you would rescue me. She told me to tell you not to dawdle, and when the opportunity presented itself, to _take_ it, and don't waste time dithering or second-guessing yourself," Cresselia said.

Darkrai's eyes widened in surprise. "She said that? Then…then she knew this would happen, didn't she?"

Cresselia laughed again, spitting up more blood. "Of course she did. She knows everything. Or rather, Uxie does, and through him, so does she."

Darkrai shook his head in amazement. "What else does she know, I wonder?"

"We can ask her that later. But right now, if you plan to get me out of here, I suggest we do it now, before I die and leave a beautiful corpse on the ground," Cresselia said.

"If you die, I can just bring you back," Darkrai pointed out. "It wouldn't be the first time."

Cresselia raised an eyebrow. "You really mean to tell me you'd let your wife die on this cold metal floor just because you could bring me back?"

"Heh, I guess not. You know me too well, Cressy," Darkrai said. "All right, let's get you out of here."

"Darkrai…" Cresselia said.

"Huh? Oh, right, and Ho-Oh, too," Darkrai said. "Jango?"

The vampiric Espeon whipped out his gun and fired it at Ho-Oh's cell. The blast struck the force field and exploded, shorting it out and causing it to disappear. Ho-Oh, having just regenerated for the millionth time, quickly rushed through the open door of her cell before the disintegrator beams could fire and kill her again. The instant she was out, she whirled around and opened her beak, firing a blast of Sacred Fire back into her prison, destroying it in a tremendous explosion. That taken care of, she spread her wings and shrieked at the top of her lungs, buffeting everyone back and causing flames and explosions to erupt all around the room. "WHERE IS OBLIVION'S SHADOW?!" she shouted, eyes wide and glittering with madness. All those months of forced death and reincarnation had clearly taken their toll on her.

"Left, I'm afraid," Darkrai said.

"TELL ME WHERE! I'LL BURN HIM TO ASHES!" Ho-Oh screamed.

"No, he'll just defeat you like he defeated you the last time, and then you'll wind up right back in here," Cresselia said weakly, managing to lift her head off the floor with some effort. "I understand that you're angry, Ho-Oh—and more than a little insane right now—but this is the time for escape, not revenge. We have to get out of here. You can come back here and fight the Shadow with reinforcements later."

"NO! I'M NOT RUNNING AWAY! HE MUST PAY FOR WHAT HE DID FOR ME!" Ho-Oh screamed, her body bursting into flames. "AND IF YOU GET IN MY WAY…I'LL BURN YOU, TOO!"

Tensing, Jango started to raise his gun again. "That won't be necessary," Darkrai said, floating in front of him. "Ho-Oh, you've been tortured nonstop for months. I think what you need right now more than anything else—aside from food, and a good therapist—is a good night's sleep. DARK VOID!"

"WHA-" Ho-Oh didn't even get to finish her sentence before the purple and black energy ball Darkrai threw struck her, causing a crimson bubble to form around the phoenix before fading away. Her eyelids flickered, and the flames around her body and the rest of the room wavered. "Oh…ohhhhhhhhhhh…" With a great thud, she collapsed to the floor, the flames extinguishing in the process.

"Phew! That was close," Darkrai said.

"You do realize that she's going to have horrible nightmares," Cresselia said.

"…Oh. Uh…can I borrow a feather?" Darkrai asked Mareepishly.

Cresselia sighed. "If you must."

"Jango, my good mon, grab one of Cressy's feathers and put it on Ho-Oh, if you please," Darkrai said. "After everything she's gone through, she could use a few good dreams."

Jango nodded and looked around the room. Thankfully, he didn't have to pluck any feathers from Cresselia, the Shadow's abuse had knocked quite a few loose and there were several dozen scattered around the chamber. Grabbing one that didn't have a lot of blood on it, he walked over to Ho-Oh and carefully laid it on her brow. The phoenix's face, which had looked rather pained and uncomfortable a moment ago, smoothed out and relaxed as the Lunar Wing took effect and put her into a peaceful sleep. That taken care of, the Espeon glanced at Darkrai for his next instruction.

"Okay, now that Ho-Oh's asleep, it's time to book it," Darkrai said. "Grab Cresselia and head over to Ho-Oh then open a portal out of here. It's time to go home." Jango looked at him. "Huh? Oh, right. Yeah, you'll get your friend back and I'll send you on your way as soon as Cressy's safe and sound on the Moon. But hurry up, Cressy's right, we probably _don't_ have much time."

Jango nodded and walked back over to Cresselia. He knelt down and gently lifted her up. Or rather, he tried to; she was a lot heavier than he expected. A good thing he almost never talked, or else he might have said an inadvertent comment that would have gotten him in a lot of trouble. Instead, his eyes glowed under his goggles as he used his Psychic powers to lift her into the air. "Such a nice boy," Cresselia murmured.

"Don't get any ideas," Darkrai told Jango. "She's _my_ womon. Besides, don't you have a girl of your own back home?" Jango blushed and looked away. Both Darkrai and Cresselia chuckled, or at least, Cresselia did until she vomited blood onto the temporary vampire's chest, which Jango had to struggle to refrain from feeding on. Darkrai paled as much as someone with pitch black skin could. "Right, right, wasting time here, let's go."

Jango quickly carried Cresselia over to the prone form of Ho-Oh and opened a portal. Darkness coalesced at their feet, and they began to sink into the shadows. As he submerged himself in his element, Darkrai glared at the empty room and vowed, _This isn't over, Shadow. I'll be back. And when I return…I'll throw you into a nightmare from which you will never awaken._

And then they were gone, with nothing but shadows, bloodstains, burns, and a few stray feathers to show that they were ever there.

And in a separate part of the facility, Mesprit smiled. _Just as planned._

…

Meanwhile, in the Berry Kingdom…

Janine was led by the Berry King's attendants to a room with jade floor tiles, pillars with golden dragons resembling Rayquaza running up their length, and hanging wall scrolls depicting ninjas fighting a variety of different adversaries. There was a straw mat on the floor in front of a low table with a pair of cushions behind it. A large, fat candle sat on the table. The room was dark, and after the attendant lit the candle and shut the door, the only source of light was the burning wick. Seated patiently on the straw mat, Janine waited, staring straight ahead, certain those she was brought here to see would show themselves soon.

Half an hour passed, then an hour, then two hours. Still Janine waited, and still nobody joined her, even as the candle burned lower and lower in its ceramic dish.

When the three-hour mark passed, the candle flame, now rather low, flickered…

And when the light returned to the room, Janine was no longer alone. She bowed her head very slightly, not taking her eyes off the Ninjask and Shedinja sitting across the table from her. "Grandmaster Izanami. Grandmaster Izanagi."

"Janine Shinobu," Izanami, the Ninjask, said. "You have been trained well, I see."

"This test of my patience was nothing. I have learned how to sit for over a week without moving or sleeping or needing to eat," Janine said.

"Not bad. Not bad at all. It is an honor to meet you at last…niece," the Shedinja, Izanagi, said.

"I would say the same to you…were you and your clan not traitors to the Empire, and to your family," Janine said coldly.

Neither of the elder ninjas responded for a moment. The candle continued burning low. "We had our reasons for leaving His Excellency's service," Izanami said after a moment.

"And what would those be?" Janine asked. "That you somehow came to believe that Rayquaza actually died during the altercation at Wyvern Hill centuries ago and the dragon sitting on the throne is actually an impostor being controlled by Nuken, and so set out to find a 'worthier' master?"

"What? No," Izanagai said in surprise. "That's preposterous. Where did you hear that?"

"It is what my father told me," Janine said.

The elder ninjas exchanged glances. "Well…we did not leave on the best of terms," Izanami admitted.

"I suppose it is understandable why he might think that," Izanagai said.

"And why would that be?" Janine asked.

"A few hundred years ago, after the slight shake-up caused by the catastrophe at Wyvern Hill, we were approached by an emissary of Mew, who told us that to preserve the safety of the Empire, and the world, we must sever ties with His Excellency and our siblings and travel to the north, where we would lend our aid to the defense of the Berry Kingdom," Izanami said.

Janine raised an eyebrow in unbelieving skepticism. "And you _believed_ her?"

"Of course not. Not at first, anyway," Izanagi said.

Izanami nodded in agreement. "She was…very persuasive."

Janine's eye twitched. "Don't tell me you _slept_ with her."

"What?! Of course not!" Izanagi said angrily.

"That would have been most unprofessional," Izanami agreed.

"She did offer, though. But that's to be expected. Mewrians," Izanagi said. Janine nodded, understanding what they meant.

"How did she persuade you, then?" Janine asked.

"She took us into the future, and showed us what the world would look like if we did not heed her advice," Izanami said.

Izanagi shuddered and shook his head. "It was…not pretty."

Janine froze. "She…took you into the future?!"

"Yes," Izanami said. "She was a Celebi, you see."

"A…_pink_ Celebi?" Janine whispered, a horrified realization dawning on her.

"Yes, which was part of what convinced us she was working for Mew," Izanagi said, somewhat surprised by Janine's guess. "The unusual coloration and all. We thought it a bit odd that a Celebi would be working for Mew, but-"

"That's because she _wasn't_ working for Mew," Janine said, sagging back in her seat. "You were deceived." Perhaps Gary was right to be so paranoid after all. And maybe she hadn't been paranoid _enough_.

"What are you talking about?" Izanami asked sharply.

"And how did you know her color?" Izanagi inquired.

With a weary sigh, Janine told them everything she knew about Team Quantum. It wasn't much, just what Gary had told her, but it was enough. After her tale was told, her aunt and uncle stared at her in wordless horror for a long moment, while the candle continued burning low.

Finally, a shocked Izanami said, "How…how could we have been so foolish?!"

"It all seems so obvious in retrospect, now," Izanagi said, stunned.

"We turned our backs on His Excellency…on our family…for a _lie?!_" Izanami gasped.

"Even with that very convincing trip to the future, how could we have _fallen_ for something like this?!" Izanagi demanded.

"From what Gary has told me, Team Quantum is extremely devious and powerful," Janine said. "Through their mastery of time travel and Psychic abilities, they can go wherever and whenever they want, and alter people's thought patterns to further their own, enigmatic agenda. Perhaps you were, in fact, not so easily swayed…so the accursed Paradox rewrote your memories, or rewound time and tried a different tactic to convince you, until finally she had what she desired: your agreement to leave the Draconian Empire, and come to the Berry Kingdom."

"…She convinced us it was for the greater good…" Izanami said weakly. "That it was necessary to avert a future threat…that the Empire might crumble if we did not leave…that we would still be serving His Excellency in our own way…"

"And she also said that it would benefit our brethren, too," Izanagi said despondently. "She said that by having so many powerful ninja clans under one master, our ninjitsu was stagnating, that we were losing our diversity, that by leaving all of us could become stronger…"

"She lied," Janine said simply. "Or rather, told you the truth in such a way that it suited her own ends."

"Something we, as ninja, should know everything about," Izanami said miserably.

"And we failed," Izanagi agreed sadly. "And now His Excellency is left with but one ninja clan to his name, thanks to the destruction of the Claw clan. The world is in turmoil due to the threat posed by these 'Nihilators,' His Excellency has been transformed into a Bagon, and the Empire is now at its most vulnerable. Some of this could have been mitigated were we still in His Excellency's service."

"Could this, too, have been part of Paradox's scheme?" Izanami wondered.

"It would not surprise me," Janine said.

Izanagi shook his head woefully. "How could we have made such a grievous error?"

"It is not your fault," Janine said, although truthfully a part of her believed it was. "I do not think anyone is immune to Team Quantum's predations. They might be affecting us now, and we'd never notice, or even remember."

"Abuse of time travel is a terrible thing…" Izanami said solemnly.

"But I thought such temporal activity was supposed to be policed. Why have they not been stopped?" Izanagi asked.

Janine shrugged. "I am not the one to inquire of such matters. I have no idea."

The elder ninja exchanged glances and nodded. "Then it would seem our course is clear," Izanami said.

"We had originally brought you here to debrief you on matters in the Berry Kingdom and to help you write a letter to your brother convincing him to side with us," Izanagi said.

"Instead, you have given us…much more to think on," Izanami said.

"You have revealed that we betrayed our kin and master, and disgraced our entire clan, for a lie," Izanagi said.

"Regardless of this 'Paradox's' power, and whether or not she did something to our minds, our behavior is inexcusable," Izanami said.

Izanagi nodded. "We must resign from our positions as Grandmasters of the Wing clan and present ourselves to His Excellency for judgment. It is the only way to cleanse the stain of dishonor we have left on our family and clan."

Janine frowned. "While I agree that is the proper course of action for you to take, I do not believe now is the right time. Even if you abandoned His Excellency, you still swore an oath to protect this new kingdom in its time of need, a time which is fast approaching. Surely you do not expect the Berry Kingdom to defend itself without your help?"

"We did not say that," Izanami said.

Izanagi nodded in agreement. "Duty calls first. We shall deal with the current crisis first, set our affairs in order, choose a successor, and present ourselves before His Excellency and Grandmasters Nuken and Koga for judgment. We shall ask that they spare our clan and allow them to either rejoin the Empire or to remain with the Berry Kingdom—whichever they would prefer most-in exchange for whatever punishment they deem fit, even our deaths. It is the honorable thing to do."

Janine nodded. "That seems reasonable. Do you have any successors in mind?"

"I don't suppose you would be interested in the job?" Izanami asked.

"Me?!" Janine asked in surprise.

"Certainly. Leadership of the Wing clan must run in the family, and you are a blood relative," Izanagi said.

"But…I am already sworn to serve the Mirage Kingdom!" Janine protested. "And I know nothing of the Wing clan's members or techniques, or of the Berry Kingdom!"

"The Mirage Kingdom will soon be joined to Berry in marriage, so you would still be serving the same masters even if you inherited leadership of our clan," Izanami said.

"After all, it's not as if serving the Mirage Kingdom means you are not still an agent of His Excellency, is it?" Izanagi asked.

Izanami nodded. "We still see…_saw_ ourselves as servants of His Excellency, even when we swore to follow the Berry King, who is indeed a worthy and noble master even if he is not the Dragon God King. We rationalized it as serving His Excellency in another way."

"Though clearly, we were wrong…" Izanagi said glumly.

"…Well…I suppose that's true, but…" Janine started.

"And as to your lack of knowledge…you can be taught. Trained," Izanami said.

Izanagi nodded. "While we have every intention of stepping down and even giving up our lives to atone for our mistakes, we are not so rash as to do it before we are confident our clan is in good hands."

"And what makes you think my hands are the right ones?" Janine asked.

"Do you think_ you_ would fall for such a transparent scheme as we did?" Izanami asked.

"I'd like to think I wouldn't," Janine said. "But _you_ did, and you were older and far more experienced than I when it happened. Paradox has…ways of changing a person's mind, ways even a ninja is clearly not immune to."

"Perhaps this is so," Izanagi admitted. "But if that's the case, that means you're no less fit to run the clan than we are. And at least you're _aware_ of her villainy, which we were not, and so would know to be on your guard should she ever confront you overtly."

"This is true," Janine admitted.

"We are not asking you to make a decision now," Izanami said gently. "We have time, after all. And we have other candidates we might consider to take our place should you decline, so there's no pressure."

"…I will have to consider it," Janine said after a long moment. "And I would need to talk to my brother, as well. No Shinobu has ever led a ninja clan without the assistance of their soultwin. Even though my father leads the Head clan, Grandmaster Nuken still has a say in things."

"Well, of course, that goes without saying," Izanagi said.

"We would _never_ ask you to lead the clan without taking your brother's feelings into consideration," Izanami assured her.

"And speaking of feelings…what of Maren?" Janine asked.

"There is no reason a leader of a ninja clan cannot be wed, so long as you are aware that you must put the needs of your clan and master ahead of your spouse…" Izanagi said.

"And be willing to kill her, if it is necessary," Izanami said.

Janine nodded. "Maren is already aware of this. It's…not something she's entirely comfortable with, but she accepts its part of the risks of loving a ninja. And she's pretty much said she wouldn't hesitate to kill me if I were an enemy of the state as well, so it's nothing we aren't familiar with."

"That is one awkward conversation out of the way, then," Izanagi said.

"You will want to discuss this with her as well, I trust?" Izanami asked.

"You trust correctly," Janine said.

"Very good," Izanagi said.

"Thank you for bringing all of this to our attention, Janine," Izanami said.

"You have given us the opportunity to make up for a grave mistake," Izanagi said.

"But our redemption and your future with the Wing clan can wait for further discussion," Izanami said.

Izanagi nodded. "Right now, we have other matters to discuss."

"How to handle Morkul, and contact my brother," Janine said.

"Precisely," Izanami said.

"That was our original intention," Izanagi said.

Janine nodded. "All right then. What would you have me tell him?"

They told her. Naturally, there was a bit of argument on both sides as to the proper wording, how much should be revealed in the letter, whether or not Hansen would believe it or not, and so on, but after some debate they believed they had come up with a good final product. A scribe was called in to write down Janine's message, and a courier—one of the Wing clan, naturally—was swiftly dispatched to deliver it. After some prompting from Janine, some guards were sent along with the courier…and other ninja were sent to follow them from a distance, and _more_ ninjas were sent to follow them. After further prompting, a half-dozen other couriers with the same level of security contingent were also sent out, each leaving at different times and heading in different directions. After what had happened to Callista's wedding invitation several years ago, they couldn't take any chances with the delivery of this message. One way or another, it had to go through. Of course, if Team Quantum _really_ didn't want the message to be received, Janine was fairly certain it would go missing no matter what they did, but they at least had to _try_. The Kingdom's safety depended on it.

After this business was taken care of, and a fresh candle brought in to replace the original one, which by that point was barely more than a burning nub in a puddle of wax, Izanami said, "Now that our business is done with for the time being, there is something else we would like to ask of you."

"And that is?" Janine asked.

"…It has been a very, very long time since we have seen any of our siblings or kin," Izanagi said sadly.

"And we were not present for your birth, or our brother's wedding, or his daughter's wedding, or any of the other important moments that have happened in their lives since our departure," Izanami said.

"It has been far too long since we have had a chance to speak to another member of our family outside of the Wing clan," Izanagi said. "Please…would you tell us what has happened to the Shinobus in the years since we left?"

Janine looked at her aunt and uncle, the relatives she was only meeting for the first time today, who had turned their backs on their master, their family, and their honor for a lie. By all rights, there was no reason she should tell them anything; even if they had been deceived, by the code of their kind their betrayal was inexcusable.

And yet…they were family. And that counted for something, didn't it? "All right," she said finally. "Let me tell you the story of how my father met my mother…"

And then, as the hours passed and the candle was replaced twice more, Janine bonded with the part of her family that she had never known.

Oh, and the rest of Team Nightshade got into all sorts of debauchery, but there's no need to spoil the moment by getting into all that.

What? You want to see some of it? You're sure? Oh, all right, but just a peek.

"FOR THE LOVE OF ARCEUS, EVAN, THERE ARE _CHILDREN_ PRESENT!" Gary screamed as the incredibly thick and sturdy stone table they had been dining at shattered beneath Hissssa's weight.

"Children who are taking notes…and holding up score cards…" Callista said incredulously as a few of the young princesses and princesses in attendance held up cards with numbers like 5.5 and 6 and even a 3, clearly unimpressed.

"Fucking Mewrians," Mary growled, doing her best to ignore the extremely attractive courtesans and noble guests and royalty trying to proposition her.

"MORE BOOZE!" Maren, who was drinking with the other Mirage Kingdom soldiers being held as guests of the Berry King, shouted drunkenly at one of the servers, who promptly wheeled over another massive keg of berry wine.

"I think you've had enough," Nando said in concern.

"I'LL TELL YOU WHEN I'VE HAD ENOUGH!" Maren said, chugging down her freshly refilled goblet. When nothing more came out of it, she shook it out, eyeing it in confusion, then threw it away, shoved a Togepi countrymon who was trying to get a refill of his own out of the way, and started drinking straight from the spigot on the keg.

"…Oh my," Princess Sara said.

"You have some very lively friends, Ms. Mary," said Prince Elijah.

"Yeah…lively…that's one word for it…" Mary muttered. She got up and kicked Maren away from the keg. "Out of the way, I need this more than you."

"I'LL KILL YOU!" Maren screamed, lunging at the Medicham, knocking her to the ground, and proceeding to beat the crap out of her.

"…Is it really that good?" Callista wondered in bewilderment.

"Here, try a sip," Maylene said, passing Callista a cup.

Callista frowned. "Am I old enough to be drinking this?"

"It is expected of royalty no matter what their age to have at least one cup of wine at a feast, foreign or domestic," Luthiel said. "It shows goodwill between host and guest."

"Very well. I shall defer to your wisdom." The dark Gardevoir nodded in satisfaction as Callista drank the proffered cup, making a face as she did so. "So…it's really okay for everyone to act like this?"

"We see feasts as a time to let loose and express ourselves to the fullest, rather than being stodgy and standing on ceremony," King Pastizal explained. He frowned at Evan and Hissssa's…antics. "Although usually we have the decency to perform certain pleasurable acts _away_ from where the rest of us are eating. It could spoil the food, after all."

"Ah," Callista said vaguely.

"SWEET MEW IN THE CELESTIAL HEAVENS, I WISH I COULD UNSEE THAT!" Gary howled.

Jerry was unavailable for comment because he was too busy making out with one of Prince Caspen's cute brothers.

Yeah…I warned you that would be stupid…bet you're wishing I hadn't shown you that, now aren't you?

…

Elsewhere…

Most of the world knew of the Mnemosyne Music Group as one of the world's biggest record labels, responsible for managing, producing, manufacturing, distributing, promoting, and recruiting some of the biggest talent and artists in the world, not the least of which were the world-famous mega-hit band known as the Pokérockers. Not a single artist, band, musician, or other talented individual had signed a contract with the Group and failed to hit platinum. Many people credited this to the fact that the owner and CEO of Mnemosyne, a Meloetta named Dimitria, had the power to influence and inspire those who signed on with her company, nurturing their talents and helping them rise to new heights of stardom and success, something that many of Mnemosyne's competitors claimed was ridiculously unfair and possibly illegal. The thought that maybe the fact that her company treated their artists like actual people and never tried to cheat them never entered into the equation.

What most people _didn't_ know was that the reason Dimitria had founded her company in the first place was to cultivate artists of such talent and quality that their songs could transcend the boundaries of mortal music and become the Musirangers, champions of music with the power to defeat (and, possibly, even redeem) her evil twin Divatox. Unfortunately, the band she was originally grooming for the role got sick and lost their voices, so she was forced to settle for the Pokérockers instead, a decision she regretted to this very day. Her company was going into the red trying to pay for repairs to all the cities they'd wrecked on their world tour fighting Divatox's Noise minions, and when the requisite team-up with the previous Ranger team had occurred, the Musirangers had spent the _entire time _fighting the Rangers before them because the heroes in question were convinced that the Musirangers were, in fact, evil and the greatest threat to the planet, something Dimitria had yet to convince them was not the case even to this day. (They had, she recluctantly had to admit, a good point.) The villain at the time hadn't even had to work very hard to convince the previous team of that! (On the other hand, the villain had given up after seeing how much destruction the Musirangers caused during the fight, saying there was no way she could possibly top that. Dimitria wasn't sure what to think of that.)

So, it was understandable why the Meloetta might be a bit trepidatious when it came to contacting the mentors and leaders of former Ranger teams for help. While most them were cordial and at least sympathetic towards her, others thought her team was a disgrace to the Poké Rangers name. There was a reason she and her team had been blackballed from future Ranger reunions and team-ups and nobody ever called them for help whenever a threat requiring more than one Ranger team to counter it showed up. (Especially not after what had happened the _last_ time. It was a miracle the chunk they'd blown out of the planet hadn't knocked Earth out of its orbit, and that they'd managed to fix it before anyone noticed.) Regardless, Dimitria hoped her fellow mentors and leaders would be able to let bygones be bygones and lend her their aid in this time of need. She could feel the world's tempo shifting. Something _big_ was coming, and the Nihilators were just the tip of the iceberg. A _lot_ of forces, both good and evil, were converging on Pokémon Square, and that town needed as much help as it could get, especially to keep her own team from blowing it up by accident.

And so, after clearing a big chunk of her schedule for the afternoon to make time for this no-doubt uncomfortable conversation, she made the call. It hadn't been easy, since some of the teams were on other planets, in other dimensions, or even in other _times_, but all Poké Rangers were linked by a common mystical bond, and through it she was able to make contact with the other mentors and leaders (all the ones who would still return her calls, anyway) and get them all up on her big-screen monitor: Yveltal, who'd guided the Electrosaur Samba Force against the Devoss Army. Commander Kuroki, whose Go-Buster squad has fought the Vagrass from cyberspace. Akared, incarnation of all the previous Red Rangers, who'd founded the Goikaiger space pirates to defeat the Zangyack Armada. Gosei, the giant tiki head whose Mega Force had vanquished the Warstar, Toxic Beasts, and Machine Onslaught Empire. Jaden Shiba, 18th head of the Shiba clan whose Samurai had defeated the Nyelock. Doctor J, who had created RPM to fight her other evil creation, the Veng-X virus. Master Mao, who had trained Jungle Fury to fight the immortal DaiLong. Mrs. Voice, whose Boukengers clashed with Negative Syndicates for control of Precious artifacts. Queen Ninianne of Fichina, whose Mystic Force had crushed the underworld armies of the Morlocks. The part-alien "Doggie" Krueger who led the Earth branch of Astro Squad Sigma. Doctor Oliver, a veteran Ranger who'd been on a number of teams before creating his own Dino Lightning (not to be confused with Yveltal's group, who were also dinosaur-themed) to stop the Evoliens. Grandmaster Koga, whose Ninja Storm had defeated Lothor's space ninjas while he was temporarily turned into a Raticate for a few months. Princess Shayla, whose Wild Force had beaten the heartless Orgs. Captain Logan, who had sent the Time Force into the past to stop mutants from wreaking havoc. Captain Mitchell, who had formed Lightspeed Rescue to combat ancient demons. Commander Stanton, leader of a colony of Pokémon alien abductees stranded in a distant galaxy who had to form a Ranger team to survive. And of course, the legendary Zordon, who'd led a whopping _seven_ different Ranger teams—and taught Gosei, so technically he was responsible for eight-and once sacrificed himself to destroy all evil in the universe. (He got better. Unfortunately, so did evil, something he was understandably miffed about.) There were other leaders for other teams, of course, but most of them did not want to talk to Dimitria for one reason or another, something she kind of understood.

Regardless, she had as many as she could reach on the same line with her, so hopefully she could get their assistance without too much fuss.

"How did you get this number? This is a secure government facility!" Kuroki said.

"I thought I told you never to call this number again," said an irritated Krueger.

"I thought I said if you contacted me again I would send my team to assassinate you," Koga said.

"I thought I said if you contacted _me_ again, one of my Zords would eat you," Yveltal said.

"Oh shit, it's _that_ time, isn't it?" Logan groaned. "Dammit, I thought we'd have more time before _this_ happened…"

"Hey, Dimitria! Are we still on for tomorrow night?" Gosei said excitedly…only to realize he was sharing the line with sixteen other people, including his old teacher. "Um…I mean…uh…I thought I told you if you contacted me again, I'd…uh…"

"Give it a rest, Gosei, nobody's buying it," Zordon said in amusement.

"Dammit," Gosei hissed.

"You and _her?!_ Seriously?!" Doctor Oliver said incredulously.

"Just because her team is rather…incompetent doesn't mean _she's_ that bad," Gosei said defensively.

"I'm right here, you know, I can hear you," Dimitria said wearily.

"How would that even work? I mean, she's got a…very nice body, and you're…well…a giant head," said a confused Stanton.

"No, _Zordon's_ a giant head," Gosei said. "This isn't my true form, it's just how I appear to most people. It's a form they're comfortable with. I look differently on my dates with Dimitria."

"You certainly do," Dimitria said fondly.

"You know, technically I'm not a giant head, I'm actually trapped in a time warp and what you see of me is just a projection transmitted through a specialized containment tube-" Zordon started.

"Nobody cares, Zordon," Doctor J said bluntly.

Zordon scowled. "I founded the original Poké Rangers, led more teams than anyone else, established the formula for all future teams; hell, all the giant robots everyone uses are even _named_ after me and this is all the resepct I get. Typical. Sometimes I wonder why I bothered coming back from the dead."

"Anyway," Dimitria interjected. "I know many of you basically said you never wanted to talk to me again…especially after what happened at the last reunion…"

"I still have nightmares," Mitchell said, looking haunted. "Horrible, horrible nightmares. And I've fought demons. _Demons._"

"One of my team members _died_," Kuroki said. "But he was a robot, so we repaired him."

Dimitria winced. "Yes, I know. We've made sure Buzz will never touch a barbecue grill again."

"Or keep Iwark from singing karaoke?" Koga asked.

"…Still working on that," Dimitria said.

"Or J-Pop from steering the Megazord drunk-" Mrs. Voice said.

"ANYWAY," Dimitria said loudly. "I called you for a very important reason."

"Because there's a great disaster coming and you're asking us to call up our teams to help you?" Queen Ninianne asked.

"…Er. Yes. How did you know?" Dimitria asked in surprise.

The mystical monarch smiled. "Dear, you didn't think you were the _only_ one in tune with the resonating threads of fate, did you?"

"I have sensed it as well," Princess Shayla agreed. "Something terrible is coming."

"No offense meant to all you magical beings, but it's pretty obvious for most of the rest of us, too," Mitchell said. "All anyone has to do is turn on the news and someone's talking about it. Hell, what happened in Treasure Town today counts too, and I'm considering mobilizing my team and sending them out to help. They're called 'Lightspeed _Rescue_ ' for a reason after all."

"Something's happening on Earth?" Stanton asked in surprise.

"Something's _always_ happening on Earth," Doctor J said.

"Well, yes, but what's happening now? Considering we're in another galaxy, it kind of takes a while for us to hear any news from home," Stanton said.

"If I'm correct, at this point in history, an evil organization called the Nihilators based on Mars, led by a villain named Oblivion's Shadow, is attempting to destroy and/or conquer the world through the use of Shadow Pokémon and open the Door to the Abyss and free the Ruler of Evil," Logan said, checking something offscreen.

"…Oh. Huh. That sounds bad, but nothing new as far as Poké Rangers go," Stanton said. "Which team is handling it?"

"Er, none of us are, at the moment," Jaden admitted in embarrassment.

"We only learned about it a few days ago, to be honest," Vyeltal said.

"…So, what, is this something the Masked Riders are handling?" Stanton asked.

"Well, if they have, they certainly haven't mentioned it to us," Gosei said.

Master Mao nodded. "We don't always see eye-to-eye."

"Then why hasn't a new team been formed to fight them?! Unless this is the Musirangers' thing? Are they still fighting Divatox?" Stanton asked.

"We are," Dimitria said.

"Right, thought so. So why hasn't any new team showed up to fight them? I thought some new bunch of young adults with attitude and a sense of justice gets picked up by someone like you guys every time some new evil organization or alien invasion springs up out of nowhere," Stanton asked.

"We don't know, actually," Zordon admitted.

"There is _one_ team we know of who's been fighting them for a while now, but they're a Rescue Team, not Rangers," Mitchell said. "No relation to my team. We do a different kind of rescue."

Ninianne smiled at that. "Team Aurabolt. Good folk, all of them. I have every confidence they will be crucial to the Nihilators' defeat. They're actually taking care of a situation in Treasure Town as we speak."

"Maybe that's why no team of Rangers has popped up?" Shayla suggested. "Because there are already people working on stopping the NIhilators?"

"Makes as much sense as anything else," Yveltal said.

"Even so, how did you not know these guys have been around until recently? Wait, how long have they been around, anyway?" Stanton asked.

"Well, as far as we can tell…decades, if not centuries," Doctor Oliver admitted.

"…SERIOUSLY?! How did you not _notice_ before now?!" Stanton screamed. "I thought you had spy cameras and magical detectors and crystal balls and saucer-headed robots to tell you when something like this pops up!"

"We haven't noticed them because they're smart enough not to send some colorful monster to start randomly attacking people and buildings and causing a fuss on a weekly basis," Kuroki said.

"…Oh. Okay, yeah, that is pretty smart," Stanton admitted.

"Why do they always wait a week before attacking, anyway?" Doctor J wondered. "I never really got that. And why only send out one monster and like a few dozen easily-dispatched foot soldiers at a time? I know there's an excuse for some of them, but not for all of them."

"Not even I know that," Zordon admitted.

Stanton sighed. "Whatever. So, now that you know there's this Nihilator group, we going to do anything about it? I mean, lots of us have space-capable Zords, right?"

"That we do," Krueger agreed.

"So why hasn't anyone just flown over to Mars and beaten these guys already, now that you know who they are and where they live?" Stanton asked.

"Aside from the fact that, even if we sent all our Zords, we might still be outmatched, we may not be needed for that," Master Mao said.

Mrs. Voice nodded. "The world's militaries are mobilizing to launch a massive offensive against Mars in the near future. Also, after the Nihilators were revealed to the public last week, a joint effort was put together to purge them from pretty much every nation on Earth. As far as we know, just about all of them are gone."

Ninianne chimed in. "I have pledged a sizable portion of Fichina's forces to the war effort, and am currently debating whether or not to call my Rangers out of retirement and send them to help out."

"Oh. Then…what's the fuss?" asked the confused Stanton. "What's keeping us from sending our teams to help out even if the world's armies actually seem to know what they're doing for a change? Unless you think we'll be redundant or something?"

"The fuss is that while most of the world's armies are off-world, our own planet will be left somewhat vulnerable, so I'm having my team—and hopefully, lots of other teams—on standby just in case something happens," Mitchell said.

Jaden nodded. "It's too risky to leave Earth undefended at a time like this."

Shayla nodded as well. "My team is prepped and ready in case something crops up."

"And something _is_ going to crop up," Dimitria said. "The Nihilators have an interest in Pokémon Square for some reason, and it's been predicted that there's going to be a massive barbarian invasion there in the near future. The Draconian Empire and a great many other countries have pledged support to protect the town, because apparently if it falls, so does the Earth."

"Really? Wow. What's so important about this town?" Stanton asked in surprise.

"…I'm not sure any of us know, to be honest," Doctor Oliver said.

"And those of us who _do_ know are unwilling to tell," Koga said.

"My premonition tells me that Pokémon Square will soon be the crux of a _massive_ battle between good and evil," Dimitria said. "Not only the barbarians will get involved, but Divatox, and possibly some others as well. I've sent my team there, but you know as well as I do that they're going to need help."

"And you're asking us to dispatch our teams to help you," Doctor J said.

Dimitria bit her lip and smiled weakly. "Um…if it's not too much trouble?"

There was a moment of silence, as the other leaders mulled this over. "Well, you have my support," Gosei said. "And most certainly not just because we're in a relationship. My team still hasn't quite forgiven yours for crashing their Megazord into our base, but they'll help if I tell them to."

Dimitrai sighed in relief. "Thank you, Gosei."

"I'll get my teams as well," Zordon said. "I know what it's like to have a…somewhat disappointing team (Dear Arceus, where did I go wrong with Turbo?). And aside from that…if Earth needs us, as Poké Rangers we are obligated to help."

Logan nodded. "History records show that not only does my team show up to help, but so does everyone else's, so I'll send mine back in time to aid you. They won't like it, though…"

"I don't either," Kuroki said. "But Zordon is correct. Our personal differences aside, we cannot ignore a threat of this magnitude."

"Especially because apparently history says we have to, and if we don't do it, it might destroy the space-time continuum," Doctor J said.

"Which I really, really would not want, especially because I live in the future," Logan said. "And if my future changes, that means Time Force might not exist, and then they couldn't have come back in time to help the people of your time when they needed it. Which would change the future further and make us even less existent. Or something."

"'Or something?'" Mitchell asked. "You don't know?"

"I'm not a scientist, I don't have a clue how time travel works," Logan said, looking flustered. "All I do is give an order, someone pushes a button, and a giant robot smacks Zords down a track into a time portal. I don't even know why they need the giant robot to do that and the Zords can't just go down the track themselves. Personally I think we put too much money into Zord research and had to justify having an extra one lying around that can't fit into the time portal. Well, except for the one time it _did_ fit into the time portal."

"Uh…" Shayla said.

"What is he talking about?" Jaden asked.

"I think he's just rambling at this point," Koga said.

"You know, I never even wanted to join Time Force," Logan complained. "I wanted to be a train engineer, but my father wouldn't allow it. 'No son of mine is going to be a train engineer!' he said. 'You're joining Time Force and fighting evil across history!' I think I would have made a great engineer." He sighed. "I wish I could ride on the DenLiner. It's a train that can _time travel_. Maybe I could have even been Masked Rider Den-O! Then I could ride a train and fight time villains, so I'd be making myself _and_ my father happy!"

"Anyway," Akared said. "It looks like we're all coming to help out."

"Wait, I haven't agreed to-" Stanton protested.

"We're all. Coming. To help out," Akared said. "Or do you want your colony to be raided by space pirates?"

"I thought the Gokaigers only attacked bad guys," Stanton said in alarm.

"Yes, but we're still, you know, pirates. We could change our minds," Akared said innocently. Stanton groaned, giving in.

"I refuse to help out," Koga said. "I vowed my team would have nothing to do with yours ever again after J-Pop broke my son's heart."

"But-" Dimitria started.

"You can't! It'll change the future!" Logan cried. "And I don't want it changed! Well, unless it causes me to be an engineer instead of police. Hmm, I'll have to look into that."

"There's nothing wrong with being police," Krueger said in annoyance.

"Says you! I want to be an engineer!" Logan whined.

"However, I'm already going to be stationed at Pokémon Square," Koga said. "So if you happen to be there at the same time as my team, well, there's not really anything else we can do about it. Aside from killing you all, I mean."

"…But you won't, right?" Dimitria asked.

"I make no promises," Koga said flatly, causing the Meloetta to grimace.

"So, the short of it is that you'll all help out?" Dimitria asked, deciding to focus on the positive.

The others all nodded. Some were more willing than others, but it heartened her to see that they were willing to help out, no matter what bad blood existed between them. "We're all Poké Rangers," Doctor Oliver said. "And Poké Rangers help those in need. We are Earth's defenders, and we never surrender!"

"…Hey, that's my team's line!" Gosei complained.

"I will also talk to the other teams and convince them to help out," Zordon promised. "They'll agree if it's me asking."

"Yes, yes, because you started the whole Poké Rangers thing, all our robots are named after you, you died once to save the universe, and so on," Mrs. Voice said. Zordon growled.

"This should be interesting," Shayla said eagerly. "Like the Legend War, all over again!"

"Except that hopefully this time our teams won't all lose their powers, which get scattered into space and claimed by pirates," Jaden said.

"…We gave them _back_," Akared said, offended.

"Thank you…all of you…" Dimitria said in relief.

"Of course, you're still banned from future reunions indefinitely," Ninianne said apologetically. The others nodded, all of them vigorously. Much more so than when they agreed to help.

Dimitria facepalmed. "Of course I am. I don't suppose if we do well in the coming battle, you'll change your minds?"

"…We'll think about it," Yveltal said.

Dimitria sighed. That was about as good an answer as she was going to get. "So, when can I expect you to show up?" she asked.

"It's going to take a while for me to get all of my Rangers together," Zordon said apologetically. "Most are retired or scattered around the world, and two are in space."

"We're in another galaxy," Stanton said. "So even moving as quickly as we can, we might not be there for a little while."

"We're in the future, but we have a time machine so we can show up whenever," Logan said.

"Dino Earth isn't in sync with your world yet, so we can't cross over until our worlds are more in tune with each other," Doctor Oliver said. He and his team had moved to Dino Earth, a parallel world where prehistoric Pokémon had never died out that was created when a meteor (which actually contained the evil Mesozoroya) hit the planet millions of years ago.

"Some of my Rangers are on patrol off-world," Krueger said.

"My universe isn't in sync with yours just yet either," Dr. J said. Her world was also a parallel one, except there Veng-X had managed to nearly wipe out all life on Earth except for one small domed city.

"We just finished looting the Zangyack home world, so it's going to take us some time to get there, too," Akared said.

"Oh," Dimitria said, her hopes fading.

"There may be a way to get us there sooner," Akared said suddenly.

"Oh?" Dimitria asked, her hopes rekindling.

"I'm all ears," Stanton said.

"All Poké Rangers are bound together by the Power that flows through us all," Akared said.

"Not all of us here are actually Rangers, you know," Kuroki said.

"Or have superpowers," Mitchell said. Akared ignored them.

"Ah, the bio-morphing energy field," Doctor J said.

Akared nodded. "By calling upon that Power, it might be possible to summon us all together instantly."

"Hmm. I think I see what you are saying," Zordon said, intrigued.

"You do? Because I don't," Krueger said.

"I am the foremost expert in the 'Power' in the entire universe," Zordon said. "By tapping into it, I believe I can create a way for Dimitria to summon all the Ranger teams, past and present-"

"And future," Logan added helpfully.

"To aid her team in the great battle," Zordon said. "Dimitria, do you have a blank disk?"

"Always," Dimitria said, sliding open a desk drawer and pulling out a CD. "I run a music business, after all."

"And a CD burner?" Zordon pressed.

"Again, music business," Dimitria said, tapping on a black rectangular piece of electronics on her desk.

"Turn it on and insert the disk. I shall handle the rest," Zordon said. Dimitria did as he bade, and the giant head closed his eyes, a look of concentration forming on his massive features. He began glowing, pulsating in a variety of different colors; red, blue, yellow, green, black, pink, gold, silver, white, purple, and more besides. He was not the only one; much to their surprise Shayla, Doctor Oliver, Krueger, Ninianne, Mao, Jaden, Gosei, Akared, Yveltal, and Dimitria herself started glowing, as did the burner, much to the confusion of the other mentors.

Finally, Zordon opened his eyes, the colors fading from him and everyone else. "It is done."

The disk drive on her burner popped open, revealing a disk shimmering in all the colors of the rainbow. Dimitria's eyes widened in astonishment. She could _feel_ the sheer power rolling off the disk in waves, unlike anything she had ever felt before…except, she realized, she had. It felt much like the power she had experienced when she had granted the Musirangers their abilities…because that's exactly what it was, wasn't it? "Oh my…"

"That disk contains power taken from every Poké Ranger team in existence," Zordon said.

"Did you actually have permission to take some of that power? Not all of us are here," Yveltal said with a frown.

"I'm Zordon, I can do whatever I want," the giant head said bluntly. "Dimitria, when you play the song on that disk, it will summon every Poké Ranger, no matter where they might be, to its location. Even those who are dead will not be able to resist its call, and will return to duty."

"…That's kind of creepy," Krueger said.

Zordon rolled his eyes. "Yes, because this is the _first time_ Rangers have ever been brought back from the dead to fight a common threat."

"He has a point," Mao said. Krueger sighed, conceding the point.

"Thank you, Zordon," Dimitria said graciously as she put the CD in a jewel case. "I'll send this to the Musirangers right away!" She paused, reconsidering. "No, wait, on second thought I'll wait to send it to them until the battle actually begins. That way I don't have to worry about them playing it too early and summoning the other Rangers before they're ready."

"Probably a good idea," Jaden agreed.

"We will give our teams the news," Shayla promised.

"Though how happy they'll be about it, I can't say," Yveltal said.

"Well, I hope that after this fight, perhaps you will be able to see us all in a new light," Dimitria said optimistically.

"That would be a true miracle, one which might be beyond even those Poké Rangers accomplish on a regular basis," Koga said. Dimitria's face fell.

"Good luck to you, Dimitria. May the Power protect you," Zordon said sagely.

"Yeah, because she'll need it," Mitchell muttered.

Kuroki nodded in agreement. "Won't we all?"

One by one, they signed off, until only Gosei was left. Dimitria raised an eyebrow. "Something I can do for you, Gosei?"

"Um. Yes. You never answered my question earlier," Gosei said. "Are we still on for tomorrow night?"

Without warning, another face suddenly appeared on the screen; that of the 29-year old basement dwelling Akagi, leader of the Akibarangers, an unofficial Ranger team so pathetic that even the _Musirangers_ looked good in comparison. At least the other Rangers acknowledged the Musirangers' existence. "Hey, Dimitria! I just read on a message board that you're gathering all the other Ranger teams for a big crossover battle and I was wondering if my team could take part in it and maybe hang out and become official Rangers please?" he asked hopefully.

Dimitria sighed. Somehow, it didn't feel like the block she'd cleared in her schedule was going to be enough anymore.

…

And we're done. This chapter took both longer and shorter than I expected. Longer because I started later than I intended to, and shorter because…well, it didn't really take very long to write. Maybe two or three weeks, in spite of how long the chapter itself is? I can't really remember, maybe it was three. Guess that's what comes from being unemployed.

Anyway, let me know what you thought of the chapter, and hopefully the next one—and the conclusion of this mini-arc—will be out soon.


End file.
